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  <row Id="1" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:40:38.007" Score="73" ViewCount="7265" Body="&lt;p&gt;I pay my 5.5-year-old $1 if she sleeps in her own bed and take $1 in rent when she sleeps in our bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also taken to offering her $1 to pick up her 2.5-year-old brother's Lego messes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good or bad?  When should I stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-06-01T04:58:07.327" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:34:20.580" Title="Is bribing children with cash incentives a good idea?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|money|reward|" AnswerCount="16" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="80" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:41:00.923" Score="37" ViewCount="6135" Body="&lt;p&gt;There has been a lot of talk lately about the alleged harmful (potential?) side effects of vaccinations/immunizations for infants and children. What are the objective arguments against immunizing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:06:20.383" LastActivityDate="2018-07-09T08:47:21.517" Title="What are the objective arguments against immunizations for infants and children?" Tags="|toddler|infant|pre-schooler|immunizations|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:42:52.367" Score="22" ViewCount="6194" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age should a child be introduced to the TV?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-30T18:19:57.983" LastActivityDate="2022-03-02T05:18:49.317" Title="At what age should a child be introduced to the Television?" Tags="|development|age-appropriate|television|screen-time|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:43:35.990" Score="15" ViewCount="9451" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby is going to be born in a few months, what should we make sure we have before she gets here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="27" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T15:40:41.460" LastActivityDate="2023-06-26T16:01:42.733" Title="What to buy to prepare for the arrival of a new baby?" Tags="|shopping|newborn|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2023-06-26T16:10:14.987" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T03:49:57.797" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="139" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:45:01.310" Score="9" ViewCount="1951" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've often heard about twins forming their own &quot;language&quot;, but I've always assumed that it only applies to identical twins. Is there any research out there on the subject? Does it apply to both fraternal and identical twins?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:07:14.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:07:14.330" Title="Can fraternal twins develop their own &quot;language&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|twins|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:45:26.453" Score="33" ViewCount="78993" Body="&lt;p&gt;So our 6-month-old boy still doesn't sleep through the night. He still wakes up at least once and wants to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He takes 3 naps during the day, ranging from 30 minutes to 1.5 (sometimes 2) hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We usually put him down for the night at least 2 hours after his latest nap, but we haven't been able to get him down to 2 naps per day because he gets pretty cranky during the evenings. Depending on the duration and times of his naps, his bedtime ranges between 10 and midnight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have started feeding him a small amount (2 tablespoons dry) of rice cereal after his morning and evening naps in the hopes that he'll have a fuller stomach through the night, but he still wakes up hungry after sleeping between 3 and 6 hours. I can handle the 6 hours, since that means I get 6 hours of pretty much uninterrupted sleep, but it's usually more like 3-4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21" LastActivityDate="2017-10-30T05:40:53.893" Title="How do I get my 6-month-old to sleep better at night?" Tags="|sleep|night-time|infant|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="8" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:45:38.627" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've stayed away from TV (5.5yo and 2.5yo) pretty much.  DVDs, though since age 2 - lots of Disney (my eldest loves Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings and I've introduced StarWars to the youngest).  But they only get to watch them for a certain amount of time or as treats or in long car journeys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T21:45:38.627" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="9" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:46:14.967" Score="15" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A place for her to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carseat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A place to change her diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Burp rags/receiving towels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby wipes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Coffee&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diapers (in premie and new born)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13" LastEditorUserId="304" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T20:56:40.100" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T20:56:40.100" CommentCount="9" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T03:49:57.797" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="10" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:46:34.680" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.justthefactsbaby.com/baby/article/at-what-age-should-children-start-to-watch-television/114&quot;&gt;AAP&lt;/a&gt; not until two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In fact, the American Academy of&#xA;  Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that&#xA;  children under two years of age avoid&#xA;  watching TV entirely. Experts say that&#xA;  babies and young toddlers see&#xA;  television as a confusing array of&#xA;  colors, images and noises. Children&#xA;  under age two won’t understand much of&#xA;  the content they see on TV and it&#xA;  takes time away from more productive&#xA;  exploring, such as interacting with&#xA;  others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reality though is that this can vary. While recommendations exist; reality also exists. If under the age of two limit exposure as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T21:46:34.680" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="11" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="73" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:47:15.017" Score="39" ViewCount="4084" Body="&lt;p&gt;Movies have ratings, which vary a little around the world, but the ratings just don't convey a full understanding of some scenes which may be scary for young children. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Monsters, Inc.&lt;/strong&gt; is about humorous, fluffy monsters that live in another world, but their day is to scare the living daylights out of small children to 'harness the screams'. Hence there's many 'boo' scenes that are pretty frightening if you're two years old and you don't know they're coming. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sleeping Beauty&lt;/strong&gt; is a beautiful/classic Disney movie with lovely visuals and nice songs, but has the wickedest, meanest, most scary evil witch of all the ones I can remember. Go watch it again if you don't remember&amp;nbsp;— Maleficent is her name. Really mean, really scary&amp;nbsp;— the stuff of nightmares.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these movies are rated 'U — Universal'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my question is, how can you determine that the movie is suitable for a 2, 3 or 4-year-old child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="4481" LastEditDate="2018-07-10T18:57:16.617" LastActivityDate="2018-07-10T18:57:16.617" Title="How do you decide if a movie is suitable for young children?" Tags="|development|age-appropriate|emotional-well-being|movies|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="13" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:48:42.463" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cut back to two naps a day and move up the bedtime. Bedtime at 10 and midnight is NOT good for a child of that age; or anyone for that matter. You are fighting the natural circadian cycle. Move the bedtime up to 8 and follow a defined structure for bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition they are not hungry at that age; it has simply become habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T21:48:42.463" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="14" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:50:06.450" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that helped us a lot with our first kid is treating night-time like it's night-time. At first when she needed to wake up to eat, we would turn on the lights and sometimes even talk to her. Soon, though, we figured if she's ever going to learn to sleep through the night, we have to treat night-time different than daytime. We stopped turning on the light when she needed her night time feedings and we were very quiet. It seems obvious now, but at the time it was a lifesaver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, having a consistent routine did wonders for our first baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T21:50:06.450" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="15" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:51:16.283" Score="35" ViewCount="2318" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2 year old son is growing up in a different country (New Zealand) than we did (Brazil). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try to speak to him in portuguese all times, and we noticed that he is learning english reasonably well at the daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously he does not understand that he speaks 2 different languages yet. But, once he realizes it, I am afraid he will lose interest in portuguese, since he only speaks that with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the people who raised a bilingual child. How did you keep them speaking both languages? What were the challenges?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T15:45:30.007" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T22:14:36.530" Title="How do you handle bilingual education in a country where you do not speak the language natively?" Tags="|bilingual|education|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:52:13.550" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am affraid there is not much you can do. Our twin daughters of age two only started sleeping through the night 2 months ago. We have tried various good intended advice, none worked. In the end my wife and I just switched turn in sleeping in the guestroom so that ze both get a good night sleep every two days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T21:52:13.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="17" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:53:07.903" Score="8" ViewCount="1336" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have toddler twins that are currently in the same class at school. What research has been done so that I can decide whether or not to separate them next year?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T15:58:48.660" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T21:20:42.127" Title="Have there been long-term studies on the effects of separating twins at school?" Tags="|twins|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:56:16.850" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it comes down to good 'ole fashioned parental gut feeling. You know your kid. Watch the movie in question beforehand and then judge whether you think it's appropriate for whatever stage your kid is currently in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids are obviously more sensitive to certain things so you just have to be cognizant of what might be scary for him/her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also suggest watching the movie with them at least the first time around and keep a close eye on how they react to certain scenes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="38" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T21:56:16.850" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="19" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:56:21.020" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't worry, keep up educating your kid in two languages. you want your kid to be able to understand your relatives in Brasil. You could keep the interest alive by watching youtube films from brazil, or buy some children dvd's from brazil. I have many friends that are bilingual and none of their kids lost interest in their second (first?) language. On the contrary&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T21:56:21.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="20" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:56:28.670" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Establish a routine&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's a Supernanny favourite, but we've found that a consistent routine (even printed out and stuck to the wall in vibrant colours) helps children to understand the wake-play-eat-play-bedtime-sleep cycle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest challenge to introducing a routine is when the children rail against it. This requires a lot of patience and understanding - they don't want to be told what to do all the time and will try all sorts of antics to get around the routine, but stick to it rigidly and it'll pay dividends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the important ingredients of the routine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bedtime&lt;/strong&gt;; at the same time every day, between 7 and 8pm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bathtime&lt;/strong&gt;; about half an hour before bedtime and is bathroom, wash down, clean teeth, get into pyjamas.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bedtime stories or sing-song&lt;/strong&gt;, read/sing in the bedroom (ideally in bed), to calm the children and let them warm to their bed before lights-out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lights-out&lt;/strong&gt;. If your child needs to have a background light, make sure it's very, very low as you'll disrupt their sleep pattern if it's too bright.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Wake up at the same time&lt;/strong&gt; every day, not earlier. Try to resist going to them until it's time to wake up. Yes, they may cry a lot, but when you turn up at the same time each day, eventually they'll understand.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get some &lt;strong&gt;fresh air&lt;/strong&gt; - oxygen will help with the sleep cycle. Get outside in the open wherever possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Exercise&lt;/strong&gt;; for a 6-month-old, this may be crawling around the lounge or bouncing on a elasticated door-frame bouncer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nutrition&lt;/strong&gt;; healthy food provided at the same times each day. Get rid of the little snacks and sweetened drinks - fruit and water are ideal for managing energy levels and hydration.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Noise levels&lt;/strong&gt;. It is not possible to stop all kinds of noise - there are noisy neighbours, unexpected phone calls, someone burns toast and sets the smoke detector off, etc, but it's reasonable to ask family/friends to try not to make a lot of noise when passing nearby a sleeping baby. Planning the activities of other/older children to leave the baby alone to sleep is crucial - can't have them playing drums in the same room and expect baby to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="1060" LastEditDate="2013-01-03T11:53:47.570" LastActivityDate="2013-01-03T11:53:47.570" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:57:25.300" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ideally, never. Imagine if children could not watch television until adulthood, but instead had to entertain themselves, go outside to play, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, that's impossible to accomplish in reality. And let's face it, television can be quite a useful tool to entertain a young child while you focus on some pressing task. But as Aaron noted, ideally you'd avoid all screen time until the child is at least two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T21:57:25.300" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="22" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:57:36.277" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I'm a &lt;em&gt;future&lt;/em&gt; parent myself; but my wife is a part-time nanny for 4 different families (like 7 or 8 kids total), and I hear about this all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She tends to bribe the kids with privileges (it wouldn't make sense to give them money, you know, since it is her job). Lately, she says the kids have begun turning it around on her and are now trying to bribe &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;. Everything is turning into a negotiation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wife: &amp;quot;Eat 5 more bites of veggies and you can go play&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4 y/o: &amp;quot;Okay, but only if you'll let me play X&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course there is the very knowledgeable Dave Ramsey...he says: (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.daveramsey.com/article/top-3-kids-and-money-qa/lifeandmoney_kidsandmoney?atid=davesays&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start paying them a commission for chores they do around the house.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not give them an allowance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Send them off to work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've always loved the idea that a child should work for their money...but the flip side is the possible conditioning of them to &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; do things for money...or to start bribing and negotiating with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="29" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:08:30.987" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17" CreationDate="2011-03-29T21:59:54.777" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This really depends on your twins. There is no generic answer that fits every twin couple. It all depends on the competitiveness of the children. If you see that one is constantly overruled by the other, splitting up might be good. If they really develop well and they like the others company, let it be in one class. We have kept our twins together, but we continue to assess the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T09:12:31.483" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T09:12:31.483" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="25" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:01:14.713" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good question might be some things not to buy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd avoid too many of the smaller clothes&amp;nbsp;— you'll quickly find a shortage of the larger clothes when you need them and brand new smaller clothes unopened when the child has already outgrown them.  Also, hard to predict what season your kid might be in for long sleeve sizes etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd avoid buying a dedicated changing table&amp;nbsp;— we have used regular changing pads on a dresser and a trunk, and at the grandparents they just use a towel on the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd avoid diaper pails with the fancy bags&amp;nbsp;— we just used a simple one trapdoor one with ordinary kitchen bags.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Real shoes are basically pointless, I'd avoid wasting money on those until they can walk.  The Robees are fine for crawlers. I wouldn't buy anything until you need it&amp;nbsp;— who knows what season it will be when they are that size.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need a stroller, I would get one which works with the car seat. You'll use it heavily for the first two years, so you'll really get your money's worth out of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll want a bjorn, but not right away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming breast-feeding, you won't need bottles or anything like that for a while, but at some point you will need a breast pump and bottles.  We never used a special bottle warmer or wipes warmer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, a lot of stuff you may only use for 6 months to a year. Unless someone gives it to you, get it second-hand. Things like bouncers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A rocking chair can definitely be good (we got one second hand).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure in the baby's room you have a way to get subdued lighting with a dimmer or lamp or something.  Maybe music.  You can't tell what you'll really need on that front, so I wouldn't buy anything until you see what the kid is partial to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those various swings and bouncers can be good, but the newborns aren't going to really use them for a while (a couple months).  We got a lot new and gave them away and got others second hand and gave them away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2013-12-27T13:55:27.893" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T13:55:27.893" CommentCount="4" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T03:49:57.797" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:04:17.683" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many studies on bilingual children and the most important thing highlighted in those I've read are that exposure to the language in the first six months helps the childs' brain develop the necessary functions to distinguish all the sounds of the different languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, an average English-speaking adult who starts learning Chinese cannot possibly hear all of the different tones used in Chinese as their brain didn't develop the capacity to do so at an early age. There's an interesting TED talk on it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html&quot;&gt;http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our children are exposed to English, Chinese and French and can move between them without thinking about it, but are rarely happy to speak something in a particular language on demand - they don't see it as a party piece, it's just what they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="18" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T22:09:09.257" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T22:09:09.257" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="27" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="81" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:05:42.833" Score="16" ViewCount="5857" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was born prematurely a few weeks ago and is still in the hospital. If all goes well, he will leave the hospital when he reaches the equivalent of 36 gestational weeks, weighs at least 4 lbs, can sustain his vitals (pulse, temperature, etc) outside of the incubator for a prolonged time, and can feed himself orally. He is currently at the equivalent of 32 gestational weeks, so he may be home in a month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is anyone aware of any special preparations for the arrival of a premature baby? I am sure the hospital and the baby's pediatrician will advise us on the medical aspects. I am interested in other aspects of regarding his arrival, such as keeping him comfortable, adequate toys, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am aware that we already covered the arrival of full-term babies in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/4/30&quot;&gt;What to buy before the baby is born?&lt;/a&gt; so I am interested on suggestions specific to the arrival of premature babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby is home since last week and is doing great! Your advise has been very useful. Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="30" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-12-09T04:37:52.027" Title="How do I prepare my home for the arrival of my premature baby?" Tags="|premature|nicu|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="28" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="36" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:07:30.247" Score="18" ViewCount="36781" Body="&lt;p&gt;Currently we have one bedroom for our two daughters. Until what age can they share their room?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditorDisplayName="user35" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:12:30.393" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:12:30.393" Title="At what age should siblings stop sharing their bedroom?" Tags="|age-appropriate|siblings|bedroom|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="29" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:08:20.543" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;David Murdoch brings up a good point about the kids starting to flip it around to make everything a negotiation. I can't cite a source on the exact technique we've adopted to avoid this (probably because the wife is the one to read most of the books on these topics), but I can share the general idea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't make the bribery a regular thing. And don't ever offer a bribe for good behavior once the bad behavior has already begun - then you are rewarding not just the good behavior but the entire bad behavior / good behavior cycle. An example of an acceptable bribe:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child has been on good behavior all day, but it is getting late, they are getting exhausted and you have one more errand to run. In that case, offering a small bribe (let them choose a toy under X amount for instance) as long as they are good in the store is a good way to encourage and reward good behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bribes don't need to be much of anything, really - you'd be amazed at the lengths a boy will go to to keep that $0.97 Hot Wheels car they picked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:08:20.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="30" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:13:07.697" Score="40" ViewCount="6706" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think pocket money is a great method of educating your children in financing, but at what age should you start and under which condition?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T15:59:25.493" LastActivityDate="2017-03-21T20:13:24.177" Title="At what age should you start giving your children pocket money?" Tags="|age-appropriate|money|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="31" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:14:24.387" Score="14" ViewCount="1088" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-month-old daughter consistently fusses or screams around sundown/nightfall regardless of the sky being overcast, the lights in the house being on, or apparently any other factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this common, and is there any known reason it happens?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-03T12:19:25.723" LastActivityDate="2019-09-03T12:19:25.723" Title="Why does my 2-month-old consistently fuss at nightfall?" Tags="|behavior|newborn|crying|night-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="32" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:14:42.767" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say at 6 months you're going to still see swings in their natural body cycles at that age.  In a few months, it should be a different story, though.  It IS very hard to tell when they are hungry and when it's just habit on the night time feeding, and at 6 months you ARE going through a typical tough spot for that.  (It's probably in that &quot;Expecting&quot; book - those stages are pretty much spot on, although the timing varies)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact we've typically seen the kids be unstable at 6 months and then stable at a year in a number of behaviors from sleep to play to relationships.  They seem to find a comfortable spot, then break out and find another one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FWIW, at the older ages, consistent bedtime rituals have worked very well for us - from evening meal/movie time to bath to books to bed.  Kids have also adapted well in last year to exceptional cases when out late beyond their bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:14:42.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="33" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:15:34.403" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a common problem for immigrant families to the US. In nearly all cases that I have seen (I am multilingual myself, so have a tendency to observe) the kids that grew up still speaking their &quot;native&quot; tongue were the ones who had parents that never gave up. Sometimes it's easy, like if the parents don't speak the host country language, but other times it can be difficult to remember. Just keep speaking Portuguese to your kids, all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="49" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:15:34.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="34" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:16:38.053" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got really good advice from the hospital, but one thing we oversaw was having enough clothes with size &quot;premature&quot;. I had to quickly buy new clothes, although we did have enough &quot;normal&quot; size clothes. Finding really small sizes appeared to be quite challenging&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:16:38.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="35" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="41" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:17:21.373" Score="14" ViewCount="2650" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age should I expect my daughter to form words?  When should I expect her to be capable of simple sentences? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:10:29.233" LastActivityDate="2016-04-14T21:19:34.160" Title="At what age should I expect my daughter to talk?" Tags="|infant|language-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="36" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="28" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:21:44.397" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having one's own room can be &lt;em&gt;nice&lt;/em&gt;, but it's never a necessity.  It's only in the last generation or two that it became common to give children separate bedrooms instead of just having a boys' room and a girls' room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:21:44.397" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="37" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="31" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:22:10.920" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very common - it's generally called the witching hour, and each of our kids needed something different to sooth them through it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One responded well to walking up and down the street with me singing to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know some need to face in, others need to face out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:22:10.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="38" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:23:18.627" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I am not (yet) in your situation, I've been reading a lot about it and it seems many kids do lose the minority language. While kids are very flexible at learning, they are very flexible at unlearning too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider how well you want him to know Portuguese. Well enough to converse with the family is a much lower threshold than well enough to be able to write scholarly Portuguese, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can expose him to Portuguese speaking kids, that would be ideal. Most often, if you a really a minority in your area (and not like Spanish speakers in many parts of the US), these will be his family (cousins, &amp;amp;c) who do not speak English very well. Have him spend holidays with the family if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your day to day interaction, they need to be talked to (not just exposed—TV or passive hearing is not enough—but interacted with) at least a few hours a week in a language or they will lose it. The amount of time can vary, but think on the order of at least 20% of their interaction should be in Portuguese for them to be truly fluent. Some families have rules like &quot;only portuguese in the house&quot; or something. The rules do not matter as such, but they might force you to talk enough Portuguese to go over that threshold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend &lt;em&gt;Raising a Bilingual Child&lt;/em&gt; by &lt;em&gt;Barbara Zurer Pearson&lt;/em&gt; where you can find scientific support for all of the above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="27" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:23:18.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="39" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:23:21.337" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As soon as they can count, and understand the idea of trading one thing for another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my son, we started when he was about three and he got the idea very quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:23:21.337" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="41" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="35" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:27:06.437" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I doubt you'll find anything approaching a firm and accurate answer. This depends so much on the surroundings, particular child, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a general guideline, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/language-development/art-20045163&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt; suggests that a child is likely to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say a few words by 12 months&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say 8 to 10 words by 18 months&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use simple phrases and know 50 words by 24 months&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also offer some advice for aiding language development, that worked well for us: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Read to your child. Talk to your child. Sing songs together. Teach your child signs or   gestures for common items or phrases. Ask your child questions, and acknowledge your child's responses — even if he or she is hard to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastEditorUserId="44" LastEditDate="2016-04-14T21:19:34.160" LastActivityDate="2016-04-14T21:19:34.160" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="42" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="35" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:28:01.917" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It depends on many factors&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are all sorts of things that are going to influence the age that your daughter can understand what language is and the mechanics of being able to talk to you. Listening to her parents and understanding them will come before talking, which is why many people investigate 'baby sign' language as an interim step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the factors that'll influence your child's speech development include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Genetics: do you or your partner have any flair for language? Bilingual at all?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Amount of speech to and around the child. Do you speak to your daughter, &lt;em&gt;in your language&lt;/em&gt; (rather than 'baby talk')? I've seen evidence that saying things like 'oos a lickle baybee gooo gooo' isn't helpful as when you talk to another child/adult you never use those words or constructs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you have the radio or TV on so that your child can hear other people talking?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your daughter interact with other children, possibly of different ages? Seeing the benefits of being able to talk (other children can negotiate, get what they ask for rather than what they're given, give feedback, etc) will provide a clear incentive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it doesn't really matter &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; she talks. If she's not making any noises at all by 18 months, go talk to a paediatrician, but full sentences could take up to 3 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:28:01.917" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="43" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="35" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:29:28.760" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a difficult question. It depends on the language spoken, but also on the individual. Some children start talking at the age of 1, others need more time. We have two identical-twin daughters and here it is clearly visible. Daughter 1 was early in talking the second in walking. Both caught up on each other in the following months. &#xA;I have a cousin who did not say a word before 2 and half, but when he started talking it was immediatly in sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:29:28.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="44" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:30:15.280" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I were worried about this too and we can't run a rule on the lines of &quot;only Greek in the house&quot; as I don't speak Greek. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What seems to be working for us is my wife and I use Greek as we can (my wife speaks Greek to our daughter 50% of the time) and once she hit 3 1/2 yrs we took her to our local Greek church which runs a Greek Saturday school. Going to that meant that our daughter could see it was not just some odd language that only her mum spoke. I’d recommend you do the same. If the local area already has a reasonable sized Brazilian population I’m sure other parents would have had the same worries and set something like this up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="56" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:30:15.280" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="45" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:30:32.440" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Proper money handling is a very important lesson in life, and the earlier you teach your child about that the better.  As long as the child is old enough to understand the concept of money and the importance of saving then go for it. I bought my 4 year old son a money jar that counts the money as you put it in and he enjoys putting the money in, even though he doesn't understand what money is for yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:30:32.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="46" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="123" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:32:46.887" Score="23" ViewCount="25531" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lately my 4.5-year-old son has started getting back up after bed time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frequently we will go through the entire bedtime ritual, including a bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, books, and then being tucked in.  But after that he will climb down from his loft bed, and come out of his room over and over again.  Sometimes this happens 10 or more times in a single night, and he might not finally go to sleep until well after 11pm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried because he doesn't get enough sleep and in the morning he's tired when it's time to get up for preschool.  It's also a big disruption to the limited private time for my wife and I.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I try to help bedtime run more smoothly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-20T12:02:04.357" LastActivityDate="2019-08-20T12:02:04.357" Title="How can I get my 4.5-year-old to stay in bed at bedtime?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|bedtime|sleep-deprivation|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="47" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:33:00.443" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to predict.  I wouldn't think you can really rely on the ratings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 2.5yo had watched Snow White on DVD many times - he would request it before his older sister sometimes.  The Snow White ride at Magic Kingdom scared the hell out of him (it has a large number number of appearances by the hag) so much that he rode the entirety of Pirates of the Caribbean with his hands over his eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, some older content (like Charlie Brown) actually shows really quite abusive relationships between kids (&quot;I'm going to pound you&quot;) and my kids seemed to pick up those things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if you don't like the movie, I'd recommend throwing it out - if you can!  Some of the Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake movies are just garbage and if they can't engage adults even a little they probably have no redeeming quality for kids.  I have trouble hiding them, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:33:00.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="48" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="78" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:36:27.423" Score="5" ViewCount="416" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was born before the 30th week of gestation.&#xA;Now she is 4 and is quite lively and impatient.&#xA;Is it possible that her low birthweight has an effect on her temper?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="41" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T16:01:02.543" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T16:01:02.543" Title="Are premature babies more likely to be irritable and impatient?" Tags="|premature|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="49" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="60" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:36:31.953" Score="18" ViewCount="2184" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have often heard that using sign language is really good in teaching a baby to talk. Is this really true, or is this an urban legend?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Related:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/321/can-toddlers-learn-sign-language&quot;&gt;Can toddlers learn sign&#xA;  language?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T13:07:04.833" Title="Does using sign language really accelerate a child's ability to speak?" Tags="|infant|language-development|communication|sign-language|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="50" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:38:23.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been fighting this, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just moved out 5.5yo out of her toddler bed into a twin bunk bed.  That has helped, but not sure why (she wasn't too big for her bed).  Ultimately, though, my dad started bribing her to sleep on her own futon when she spent the night at my parents' house and I've instituted the same thing with taking money away when she sleeps in our bed as &quot;rent&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been working well, we're up to like 80% of nights her sleeping in her own bed, with a few of those nights her moving into our bed at around 6am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She likes to take her pocketbook out to buy things when shopping and $1 a night has worked well, plus she's earning the money to buy her toys and setting her own budgets (instead of begging us for toys).  She even bought her little brother some action figures.  That may not work with (younger) boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:38:23.713" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="51" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="230" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:45:11.867" Score="37" ViewCount="4041" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughters are clearly pushing the boundaries lately. They are trying to find out what is possible. I am really looking into ways to setting the boundaries. A friend recently suggested creating a punishment corner, but our daughters seem to enjoy this corner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any alternative ideas? It goes beyond saying that slapping is out of the question! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:14:00.593" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T21:05:47.450" Title="What are some suggestions for punishing a child?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|education|psychology|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2019-01-16T15:23:34.483" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="52" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:45:37.057" Score="52" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bribery is a bad thing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with bribing them to do things is that &lt;strong&gt;it establishes pattern of rewarding good behaviour with money/treats/snacks&lt;/strong&gt;. As soon as the child is old enough to realize it, they'll refuse to do anything unless it is rewarded somehow. This situation is incredibly hard to break, so it's best not to get there in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good behaviour should be established as the norm. Yes, all children have difficult days and that is what the naughty-step, no-dessert, removal-of-privileges, bedtime-with-no-stories scale of disincentives is for. When they've had a day of good behaviour, then that's the time to reward them with a small reward to enforce that a whole day of good behaviour gets results. The small reward is: they get to choose what's for breakfast/lunch/dinner, which DVD to watch, where to go at the weekend, etc. Nothing monetary nor snack/treat/toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big rewards - trip to the theme park/play center/farm/toyshop - should be kept back for major achievements such as being fully potty-trained, dry at night, first write their name, etc. Now, these rewards aren't offered up-front - they are given as a result of the exceptional behaviour. We use a chart which fills up with stickers to track the steps leading up to a big event (e.g. each dry night of 7) and explain to the children that when they reach the end of the chart, we'll do something nice such as go feed the ducks at the pond, which is different to a normal day. We find that they take to this and are suitably surprised when we 'upgrade' them to a trip to the play centre, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So our children are now 9 and 6 and we still use the chart. They get several stickers/ticks each day for good effort, good results, exceptional behaviour (good behaviour is the expected norm now), doing something without us asking/nagging, etc. They've responded really well to this - on an average day, they get between 3 and 5 stickers/ticks for good effort on homework, good music practice, tidying their room before we asked, when a parent comments on their kind/good behaviour to others, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also fully understand that we don't disclose what might happen when they complete their chart. Indeed, one time, we just tied some rope to the apple tree to make a swing but this was such fun that they told all their friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We scale the chart for their age - 7 x age in years; we have higher expectations of the 9 year old and he has more responsibilities than his younger sister at this stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have also removed stickers/ticks for when they've done something bad/poor behaviour that needed reinforcing - e.g. getting under mummy's feet causing her to miss the train three days in a row, telling grandma the wrong medicine to give to the 6 year old (she didn't, phew!). We are very clear on the consequences of the bad behaviour and we remove stickers/ticks from the top of the chart so they can see the impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every parent thinks highly of their child but we've had feedback from other parents, teachers, scout leaders, camp organisers, etc., that our children understand how their behaviour can influence outcomes and that they make good choices based on this knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T17:01:34.713" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:01:34.713" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="53" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:45:53.923" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have set clear, realistic expectations up front, which would mean you're dealing with rewards and penalties and not bribery. However, if you're bribing her in the middle of an argument, she can easily perceive that as rewarding her bad behavior which encourages her to start the argument again night after night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rewarding good behavior is generally the most effective approach. It doesn't even have to be money. &lt;strong&gt;Exuberant praise&lt;/strong&gt; actually works &lt;em&gt;better&lt;/em&gt; than tangible rewards with my daughter. Make it clear exactly what the praise is for and why it's such a big deal. This is so powerful because it makes her feel good about herself to know she accomplished something great. Bonus self-esteem boost! The hard part for me is remembering to give the praise on a consistent basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If using tangible rewards, it might be difficult to stop as she'll certainly notice the lack of coin in her palm. If the dollar is the only reason she's sleeping in her own bed, not having the dollar is going to be a big problem. If she's in her own bed because she's proud to be a big girl, she's not going to miss the money. Keep up with the money for a while, and introduce lots of praise. I'd even talk about how well she's doing throughout the day. Just as when you introduced the reward, setting expectations up front is going to be very helpful when phasing it out. Make it clear that you're very proud of her for sleeping in her own bed. Explain that she's a big girl now, and it's one of the things that big girls do, so soon she won't be getting paid for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find that you don't even need any penalty. I haven't found them very effective, anyway (my daughter would gladly pay a dollar to get out of something she doesn't want to do). If your daughter responds well to penalties, then it's another great tool to use. The best part: phasing out penalties is probably not going to be a problem!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:45:53.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="54" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="49" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:47:51.927" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure, but I can give you one example where signing hurt us: Our kids first and most-used signs were &quot;please&quot; and &quot;thank you.&quot; We'd frequently say &quot;can you say thank you?&quot; and they'd sign it and we'd smirk in our triumph of parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;....Well, nowadays (at about 2 years old) they can say a lot of words, but we're unable to get them to actually say &quot;thank you&quot; with their words when asked to &quot;say thank you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess the lesson learned is that you should ask your kids &quot;can you sign thank you&quot; so that later you can distinguish between say vs. sign&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:47:51.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="55" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:48:36.140" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;My family moved from the U.S. to Israel when I was very small, and my younger sister was born in Israel and learned English here. I've also seen how a lot of immigrant families from different countries have handled this. English is probably a lot easier than other languages... but I hope this is helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We always spoke English at home. &quot;At home&quot; might not seem like a lot, but it's huge for a kid. That's not something you lose interest in easily - and consider that once he &lt;em&gt;knows&lt;/em&gt; the language, maintaining it isn't a major effort. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's true, though, that if the child isn't interested in the language (or in culture available primarily in that language) that he might not become very proficient or eloquent in it - say, up to high-school level. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I read a ton; my parents always encouraged me to read in English to keep the language up. They wouldn't let me read anything translated from English to Hebrew, even the translation was more readily available; I had to read the English. Similarly, you can make Portuguese books, movies, music, and culture available to your child. This is a great hook, because for the rest of his life, he can always look on his own for more of what he enjoys.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My family moved to a place with a very strong, vibrant English-speaking community. That meant lots of people to speak English with, including other kids my age. It also meant that there were English-speaking activities, ongoing classes, and events to take me to. You might not have this option available, but any other Portuguese-speakers you connect with will widen the circle in which your child finds the language useful and interesting. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Private classes. I'm actually not sure what the English phrase for this is - less a class and more of an after-school activity. A few kids doing lots of English-related stuff - reading, writing, games. With just a few other kids, and the time, you could probably organize something like this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When my sister was small, my parents got an English-speaking nanny for her. (Now my Russian in-laws want us to find a Russian-speaking nanny for my daughter...) Obviously this makes a huge difference; the less-used language is at least more firmly ingrained than if they'd taken a more-easily-available Hebrew-speaking nanny.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can say that my siblings and I have excellent English (some better than others), and the same is true for a lot of other families I've seen, not only English-speaking ones. It might be more difficult if it's very difficult for you to find Portuguese for your son outside of everyday family conversation - but I hope finding such resources is doable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:48:36.140" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="56" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:54:31.407" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is really no reason against immunisation. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immunization&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immunization&lt;/a&gt;. The benefits are massive. I would actually go as far as stating that denying your child immunization should be considered a crime, similar to not protecting your child with seatbelts and child seats&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T22:54:31.407" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="57" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:56:59.080" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even with our identical twins we missed the twin language. I have not found proper proof that there is such a thing as &quot;twin&quot; language. So my answer would be that based on my own experience and document search, there is no such thing as a twin language.&#xA;Causal examples should be tested with same age children that interact on a daily basis. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorDisplayName="user35" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T09:23:57.480" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T09:23:57.480" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="58" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="96" CreationDate="2011-03-29T22:58:24.447" Score="12" ViewCount="888" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby is 14 months now and he has eaten almost any kind of food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But during the first months, it was so confusing the fact that each doctor and/or &quot;expert&quot;, suggested their own schedule about when it's right to try each food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, some doctors suggested to exclusively breastfeed for 6 months, while others to start eating fruits (like apples) from the 4th month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other examples include eggs, fish, oranges, yogurt, certain fruits, etc. where their opinions were pretty much diverse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main reason for the delay of some type of foods was the high risk of allergies, which seem pretty much logical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, my question is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any &quot;official&quot; proposals from organizations or something similar, about when it's right/safe to start feeding to your baby each type of food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="55" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-07-13T17:08:50.290" LastActivityDate="2018-07-13T17:08:50.290" Title="How do you determine what the age-appropriate foods for a baby are?" Tags="|age-appropriate|infant|food|allergies|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="59" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="332" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:03:13.647" Score="8" ViewCount="49938" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child gets very tired and sleeps very easily. While parents of babies might find this a nice problem to have, in a 7-year-old it's possibly a concern. She easily sleeps up to 14 hours a night, also will still sometimes have a daytime nap like a preschooler. At bedtime she goes off very fast (like in 10 to 120 seconds) even if there's a lot of noise or excitement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to exaggerate the &quot;problem&quot;, she has never fallen asleep at school or while talking, or while sat at a table. She is very active and lively during the day. But she does seem to need an awful lot of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently she can't get up in the mornings in time for school, almost like a teenager, and is finding it hard to give her schoolwork any attention in the evening. Sure, getting up in the morning and doing homework, not easy for most children. But being such a big sleeper is starting to get in the way of these basics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much sleep is too much at that age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:14:37.240" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:14:37.240" Title="Is my 7-year-old child sleeping too much?" Tags="|sleep|primary-schooler|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="60" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="49" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:07:52.343" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's been no research that I know of connecting early sign language learning to speaking sooner or better in general.  &lt;em&gt;However&lt;/em&gt;, learning sign language can make a huge difference in diagnosing speech disorders early enough to treat aggressively and successfully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By age 3, my son couldn't even say &quot;mama&quot; or &quot;papa&quot;.  After checking his hearing, oral muscle tone, etc. and not finding problems, the normal assumption is that the child is having trouble understanding language.  However, I'd signed around my son, just out of habit, his whole life and he had a rich sign vocabulary that he used in an age-appropriate way.  So, scratch comprehension or other cognitive problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because signing gave us a non-verbal way to understand him, we were able to determine that y son has Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS), an oral motor planning disorder.  Basically, he has difficulty putting together the intricate sequences of mouth movements necessary to produce speech, even though he can do all those movements on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't know any other CAS kids who were correctly diagnosed before age 6, and most we know were not correctly diagnosed until age 8 or 9.  Those kids are still struggling to produce intelligible speech at age 10+.  My son, now eight, speaks clearly, reads at grade level, and loves Tolkien, Mark Twain, and Jules Verne.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am infinitely glad that I sign at home -- it made all the difference for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T02:41:01.733" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T02:41:01.733" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="61" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="51" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:10:10.260" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There's a sliding scale&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It starts out with verbal warning and ends up with being sent to their room, with a whole spectrum of other measures in between. What you can do depends on logistics (are you at home or out and about), whether you have other children to manage at the same time, and energy levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the scale we use:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Verbal Warning&lt;/strong&gt;. So the behaviour is turning bad and either other children are getting upset or you're not liking their behaviour. So you put on your 'big voice' and say, very clearly and sternly, their name, repeated until they're listening, then in the same voice that you'd like them to stop/do-less/do-more, whatever. Often this will nip the problem in the bud.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Timeout/Exclusion&lt;/strong&gt;. When verbal warnings don't get results, you need to state (big voice) that they'll be excluded from whatever they're doing right now for a timeout. This can be a naughty corner/spot/step/chair or just having to go stand in another room where its' no fun. Removing the child from the current situation does a lot to diffuse the situation, so this is pretty effective, but you will find that they fight against it when they realise they're being excluded. They should be excluded for one minute for every year old that they are (Supernanny tip). If they leave the 'exclusion zone', put them back and start the timer again. Use an audible alarm to signal the end of the time and ask them to explain themselves and that you want an apology. After apologies, lets' make up with a hug.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Removal of privileges&lt;/strong&gt;. Whatever small privileges you allow them can be temporarily removed until their behaviour improves. Television time is a good example - no TV until behaviour improves for a whole day. No bedtime story is another. No food at all is going too far - they still need food and water!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Removal of possessions&lt;/strong&gt;. Temporarily putting away a favourite toy until behaviour improves is effective, but very upsetting, so you need to state clearly what the conditions are to get that toy back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sent to room&lt;/strong&gt;. When they've been so bad that you need them out of the way so you can tidy up/put out the fire, then escorting them to their bedroom with a big voice explaining that they're to stay there until you come and get them is a bold move. Yes, they'll fight on the way there, but once inside they'll be pretty upset, so you mustn't overdo this one. Follow the explain-yourself, apologise-to-me-please, lets-hug steps in (2).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a combination may be best. A friend of mine's 6-year-old stated that the dinner his mother had served up looked like 'dog poo'. So his father explained clearly to him that his behaviour was unacceptable and that he should apologise to his mother. He refused, so the father took the sons' food back to the kitchen, made the son sit back from the table and watch while everyone else tucked in. The food was pretty good so all the family (except the naughty one) enjoyed it and talked about how nice it was. By the end of the meal, the 6-year-old was pretty hungry and repentant but upset that father had thrown his food away. Of course he hadn't, he'd just hidden it. This hasn't happened again since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T23:10:10.260" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="63" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:21:07.557" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's what my boss (with two kids aged &gt;3 who both sleep through the night) advocates; I'm going to try it with my kid and see what happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, create a distinction between day and night. TV, music, lights are all on during the day. It's a time of excitement and activity. At night, dim the lights, no music or TV on, and no play. They'll learn that nighttime is for sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The typical routine for a baby on waking seems to be &quot;wake, play, feed, sleep.&quot; You need to turn this inside out a little bit: &quot;wake, feed, play, sleep.&quot; The problem is that kids get used to feeding, getting tired and falling asleep in your arms. Then you put them into their cot half-asleep - they don't get used to falling asleep on their own; i.e. they never &lt;em&gt;learn&lt;/em&gt; how to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, you feed them first, then play with them (essentially keeping them up) until they're tired, and once they seem like they really want to nod off (but can't yet, because you're there playing with them), you put them to sleep (awake), say &quot;Good night!&quot;, and let them fall asleep on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing he suggested that works for him; say your baby's feeding at 11pm, sleeping, waking at 2am. You do the above little routine at 2am. Then, one night, he manages to sleep through to 3am before waking. You &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; feed them at 2am again - because they've shown they can manage 'til 3. If they wake at 2 the next day, you wait until 3 (because they most certainly &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do it - they're just crying because they don't want to!). Maybe a week later they accidentally sleep through 'til 4am - repeat. Soon, they'll be sleeping through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HTH!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="66" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T23:21:07.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="64" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:22:49.557" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our twins came home at 5 pounds, we didn't have to make any changes due to the fact that they were small/premature. If I recall correctly, the only difficulty was finding size &quot;P&quot; preemie diapers. We'd sometimes have to visit 3 stores as they only stocked a small quantity in that not-frequently used size. Having twins, we were going through 20 a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: stock up on diapers, especially if they are size &quot;P&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T23:22:49.557" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="66" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:29:02.593" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The single best solution we've found so far with our 3.5 year old is two fold:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no more afternoon naps, or at least cut them down shorter. If it's taking 2 hours for him to get to sleep after bed time, then cut 2 hours out of the nap. (he was taking 4 and 5 hour naps some days, then bouncing off the walls until 10:30 or 11 at night.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get them out and active during the day... lots of walking and other exercise to wear them out and get them tired... particularly in the evening after dinner before bed. We've been trying to use Nickelodeon Fit on the wii for this since the weather has been horrific all winter, rather than driving to the mall or downtown or someplace with indoor walking space... but he's just not old enough to get the concept of the game yet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2014-01-31T17:09:23.377" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T17:09:23.377" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="67" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="137" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:30:12.403" Score="83" ViewCount="7409" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are planning on raising our child bi-lingual. The plan is for my husband to only speak English to her and I would only speak Tagalog (a dialect of the Philippines). I have asked my parents to also only speak to her in Tagalog since she will get plenty of exposure to English. We live in the U.S.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How have other parents raised their children to retain a 2nd language?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-06T13:51:29.603" LastActivityDate="2020-09-05T14:15:56.663" Title="What are some strategies for raising a bilingual child?" Tags="|education|language-development|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="68" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:42:02.647" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have personal experience of this but I've taken a professional interest in this over the years. My understanding is that the minority-language parent (in this case that's you) has to work &lt;strong&gt;incredibly hard&lt;/strong&gt; to sustain the project. Harder than you might think. Anything less than total commitment to not-speaking-English to your child and the project is doomed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find it harder than you think to speak the minority-language at all times when spouse, friends and so on are all speaking the majority language (English in this case). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I have read that only speaking the minority-language in private with the child, (out of politeness, because you don't want friends and colleagues to think you are excluding them, when you are in company) can be a problem, because the child learns that speaking it is somehow &quot;private&quot;, even &quot;secret&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For this reason, having your parents adding their input will be hugely beneficial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="59" LastEditDate="2014-02-03T16:35:55.677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T16:35:55.677" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="69" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:42:24.670" Score="4" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be sure to have added baby to insurance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes the baby gets discharged but requires a monitor to bring home (that I assume you return later). The staff will teach you how to read it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you get a better sense of the date you might get discharged, schedule pediatrician appointments. Maybe just schedule some a few weeks in advance just so you are in the books. You can always cancel them if baby is still in hospital.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure your car seat will secure baby, there are extra paddings for head support you can add to better secure smaller baby. Ask doc if baby needs a &quot;special car seat&quot; (if there is a respiratory condition)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You may want to consider getting certified in infant CPR&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once baby is home, avoid having little kids visit or adults who are sick until doctor says baby's immune system is stronger&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure temperature at home is comfortable for baby. As preemie, they might want it warmer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bond with baby (look into &quot;kangaroo care&quot;): like skin-to-skin contact&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_center/newborn_care/preemie_home.html#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Reference&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-03-29T23:42:24.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="70" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="51" CreationDate="2011-03-29T23:59:45.883" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my four-year-old daughter is pushing a boundary, I try to find a penalty that &lt;strong&gt;relates to the boundary&lt;/strong&gt; and that I'm &lt;strong&gt;willing to enforce&lt;/strong&gt;. I then explicitly give her the power to &lt;strong&gt;make a choice&lt;/strong&gt;. For example, &quot;if you use a toy to hit, you are telling me you can't play with that toy anymore.&quot; Often this takes some very quick and creative thinking (and sometimes requires the suspension of logic) to tie it to the situation. The older the child, the more general and preemptive the penalties can get. Even still, the more specific and in-the-moment you can reinforce that they have a choice, the more likely they are to choose your desired behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's worth it to her to continue pushing the boundary, I give a clear reminder that she chose the penalty, and &lt;strong&gt;carry through&lt;/strong&gt; with the penalty. No matter what. No negotiation. If the penalty was getting something taken away, I tell her what actions she can take to get it back. If necessary, I also give another, more serious, penalty choice if she continues the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another note - we don't use time-outs as punishment. Instead, they're used for cooling down when emotions of parents and/or children get out of control. For this reason we call them &quot;wild breaks&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25" LastEditorUserId="25" LastEditDate="2015-09-08T21:05:47.450" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T21:05:47.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="71" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:04:46.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You really have to preview the movie for yourself or ask other parents who have seen the movie. Each child matures differently as well, so you may have to take it one child at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that Disney movies seek approval from a general audience which means adults are included - after all mom and dad pay for the movies, not the kids. Many Disney movies have humor in it that only the adults understand. Most have probably heard about the &lt;a href=&quot;http://listverse.com/2009/05/10/top-10-hidden-images-found-in-cartoons/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sexual blips&lt;/a&gt; that Disney had in its traditional animation days. Doubt the kids can catch any of those scenes as they last milliseconds sometimes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, it really depends on the maturity of the child and what you as a parent regard as safe-viewing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:04:46.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="72" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:14:15.967" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a fraternal twin.  My parents swore my sister and I had our own language.  Even after we started speaking, we still talked to each other in a different language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="79" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:14:15.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="73" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:21:14.420" Score="41" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.commonsensemedia.org&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Common Sense Media&lt;/a&gt; is an incredible resource for this purpose. It provides parent-focused overviews and specific details about scenes that contain both desirable and undesirable activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Movies are rated for age appropriateness and in each of the following categories:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Desirable&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Educational value&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Messages&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Role Models&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Undesirable&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Violence / scariness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sexy stuff&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Language &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consumerism&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dating, drugs, and smoking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also look up movies by age-appropriateness. In addition, there are website, app, tv, book, music, and game reviews on the site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a quick review for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/gone-wind&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;Gone With The Wind&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, which is rated G:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/1SNzF.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:21:14.420" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="74" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="51" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:23:09.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son needs to be corrected, we place him in a specific corner of the living room, and explain him with what he has done and why is it wrong and tell him to be on that corner thinking about it for 1 minute. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is only 2, so any other kind of punishment right now is pointless in our case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:23:09.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="75" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="121" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:24:15.740" Score="11" ViewCount="9448" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 year old girl is currently going through a phase where she isn't getting her homework done by herself. I'm trying to find the right balance between encouraging her to get her homework done, yet, not have her reliant on me to do so. Anyone have any tips out there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:15:00.260" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:15:00.260" Title="How do you deal with a 9 year old not doing their homework?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|school|middle-childhood|homework|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="76" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:34:53.457" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 4, we deal with that some. A few things have helped reduce (but not completely eliminate) the instances of getting back up - besides the points of cutting naps and increasing daytime activity that the other folks answered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often he'll want one of us to lie down with him while he goes to sleep. When this is requested, he is told he has to lie still and quiet for five minutes first. He'll usually end up getting up once or twice before getting the 5 minutes still and quiet, but ultimately its usually over within 15-20 minutes. Then we lie down with him and he's out in another 10-15 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those nights when he's just too wound up, we establish a penalty for getting out of bed beyond emergencies (bathroom, scary noise, stuff like that. Usually taking a favorite toy away for one day does the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is all for a kid who is genuinely tired but a little hyper - he just needs the motivation to lie still long enough to relax. If you don't think he's tired, you need to rethink the sleep / nap schedule first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:34:53.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="77" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:43:52.303" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are starting by using poker chips with our 4 year old.  We reward him for doing well at preschool or finishing some homework.  To watch TV, he has to pay 1 chip/half hour.  He can also cash them on on a toy at the rate of $2/chip.  5 white chips get traded in for a red chip so this helps with learning addition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is learning about currency, how it accumulates, and how it depletes quickly.  At the same time, we can encourage things we want him to do and discouraging things we don't, all the while leaving it up to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: as a slight improvement on this, we use bedtime as a time to go over the day, talk about how he did, and decide how many chips he gets for that day.  It also helps my wife and I to not forget about it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastEditorUserId="81" LastEditDate="2011-06-08T15:10:19.093" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T15:10:19.093" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="78" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="48" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:44:21.807" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not aware of any studies either way, but it seems unlikely. Most four year olds are lively and impatient. My twins were born 13 weeks premature and one is firey, the other is as mellow as can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="82" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:44:21.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="79" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="75" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:44:42.263" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should always encourage her first, offer the help she needs or other incentives, but be strict about it to. Homework should come first, if she can't get her homework done then start taking away her fun things. Just like being an adult, you do what you have to do (work) so you can do what you want to do. If you get slack on your job and get fired you can't do the fun things either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:44:42.263" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="80" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:53:57.463" Score="78" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: &lt;em&gt;No&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update Sept 2015&lt;/em&gt;: Aaron Carroll more clearly and expertly answers this in his New York Times analysis &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/18/upshot/not-up-for-debate-the-science-behind-vaccination.html?smprod=nytcore-ipad&amp;amp;smid=nytcore-ipad-share&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;Not up for Debate: the Science behind Vaccination&quot;&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the talk lately has been about how the evidence for a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MMR_vaccine_controversy&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;link between autism and MMR vaccination is fraudulent&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, there is no scientific research that demonstrate that contemporary vaccines are harmful, with the exception of allergic reactions (commonly egg protein) and some minor side effects &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vaccines/CC00014/NSECTIONGROUP=2&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;(fever, headache, sore arm, tears, ...)&lt;/a&gt;. Since even minor side effects can be serious for some populations, some vaccines are not given to all patients (e.g. those who are too young, old, sick, and/or allergic; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/flu/professionals/vaccination/vaccine_safety.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;CDC Flu Vaccine Summary for Clinicians&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is substantial evidence that vaccines keep people from contracting serious viruses and chronic diseases. For example, a &lt;a href=&quot;http://graphics.wsj.com/infectious-diseases-and-vaccines/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;series of interactive graphics&lt;/a&gt; from the Wall Street Journal makes this clear, like this one showing the decline in measles following the introduction of a vaccine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/vC32C.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;image credit: &lt;a href=&quot;https://benjaminlmoore.wordpress.com/2015/04/09/recreating-the-vaccination-heatmaps-in-r/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Ben Moore&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not possible to conclude that a vaccine will have no negative effects on health, but it is easy to estimate the probability that the net effect will be &lt;em&gt;overwhelmingly&lt;/em&gt; positive. Vaccines are definitely not inert - otherwise they would not work. So, on the pro-vaccine side, there are many lives saved and many lives improved. On the anti-vaccine side there are minor side effects and presently undetectable and unnoticeable 'unknowns'. For the sake of being thorough, the risks of (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hospital-acquired_infection&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;hospital-acquired infections&quot;&lt;/a&gt;) and using needles (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0169409X0600007X&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Guidice and Campbell, 2006&lt;/a&gt;) are accepted as risks that are outweighed by the benefits of receiving health care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I can find no compelling objective arguments against vaccinating children, Dr. Sears provides a comprehensive and well referenced overview of the arguments in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/thevaccinebook/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;The Vaccine Book&quot;&lt;/a&gt;. Dr. Sears proposes the possibility that it would be in the public health interest to give some vaccines at later ages and / or more spread out through time, e.g., so that a child only receives one or two in any visit. One example he gives is to question the practice of giving 1-2 day old newborns a vaccine for Hepatitis B - which is transmitted sexually and through shared needles - because the risks of a Hep B vaccine for infants and toddlers are greater than the extremely low rates of Hep B at this age, given the fact that a child of a few months or a years would be better able to tolerate the vaccine than an infant. However, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.immunize.org/concerns/offit_moser2009.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Offit and Moser (2009)&lt;/a&gt; suggest that Dr. Sears under-estimates the risk of Hep-B by misrepresenting previous work (they also point out other flaws in the Sears Vaccine book).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reference: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Offit and Moser (2009), The Problem With Dr Bob's Alternative Vaccine Schedule,  J. Ped. &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1542/peds.2008-2189&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://dx.doi.org/10.1542/peds.2008-2189&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Giudice and Campbell (2006) Needle-free vaccine delivery. Advanced Drug Delivery Reviews, &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.addr.2005.12.003&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;doi:10.1016/j.addr.2005.12.003&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T20:19:18.567" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T20:19:18.567" CommentCount="22" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="81" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:55:07.760" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's going to depend a bit on how medically complex your kiddo is. My twins (born at 26-and-6, 1,000 grams / 2 pounds 3 ounces) came home on feeding tubes but otherwise were pretty straightforwards medically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about toys etc., ours slept about 20 hours a day and wanted to snuggle the other four for the first month or two. They're not supposed to be out of the womb yet, so just breathing etc. is pretty taxing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get an Amazon Prime account, it'll save your life. With feedings, diapering, etc. every three hours you'll probably find it hard to get out for anything more than groceries. Being able to snap your e-fingers and have necessities on your doorstep in a day or two is amazingly helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your preemie has respiratory issues (BPD, home oxygen etc.), consider getting a heating/AC service in to clean your house's ductwork if you have central air. A lot of gunk builds up in there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hand sanitizer is good to have in every room of the house. Put one by the door and insist that visitors use it. Anyone who grumbles can come visit next year!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="82" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:55:07.760" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="82" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:57:22.483" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;TV &lt;em&gt;programming&lt;/em&gt; is generally not suitable for small children. (Often it's hardly palatable for adults, too, but that's another question.) Images on &lt;em&gt;a big screen&lt;/em&gt; still can play a positive role. &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0671253638&quot;&gt;Masaru Ibuka&lt;/a&gt; wrote that watching and listening to talking heads definitely helps small children learn language: they hear the sounds and see the mimics, which is important to acquire correct articulation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chosen watching material can be introduced pretty early; my daughter started to watch certain cartoons at about 9 months. She's 2y 4m now, and she learned quite a lot from watching: words, counting to ten in two languages, notion of many animals and their typical behavior, etc.  But it's not TV proper, it's rather DVD or other recorded media.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;TV proper&lt;/em&gt; could be introduced to children when they're mature enough to see it with a critical eye, and are able to control themselves well enough — probably at school age. Hiding the existence of TV is hardly wise, for it's easy to discover from contacts with other children, in public places, etc. Not having a TV in the house helps enormously :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="47" LastEditorUserId="47" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T01:05:40.683" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T01:05:40.683" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="83" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2011-03-30T00:57:49.600" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple thoughts come to mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having some set routine for evenings might help, where activities scale down in excitement.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Similarly, a regular bedtime and and wake time, even through weekends, could help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eliminating sugar after a certain time, including juices and maybe even milk.  If he's tired in the morning, but not at bedtime, there might be something else keeping him alert.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I've read recently that nighttime television, or staring at a computer monitor, adversely affects sleep.  Maybe try turning off these items after dark.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T00:57:49.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="84" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-03-30T01:17:36.343" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been raising our four year-old daughter exactly as you describe since birth.  I speak to her in English, and my wife and her family speak to her in their native language -- even though all of us otherwise primarily speak English in our daily lives here in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has worked out wonderfully; our daughter now speaks both languages fluently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were initially concerned that it could be confusing to her--that she might mix languages or be uncomfortable switching.  But there have been virtually no issues.  Without even realizing it, she knows with 100% accuracy which language to speak to whom, and when.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also haven't found that we need to be flawlessly consistent.  My wife can fall back to English whenever necessary (e.g., when speaking with a third party) but it hasn't affected our daughter's fluency.  I wouldn't worry about it, as long as you try to be as consistent as possible when it's just your immediate family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've also made an effort to have lots of books in both languages, so one doesn't predominate at storytime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="83" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T01:17:36.343" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="85" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T01:20:55.257" Score="9" ViewCount="26478" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 10 months old.  She does not crawl (she hates tummy time), but she loves to stand as long as someone puts her in the standing position and she has something to hold onto.  I'd like to help her learn to pull herself up into standing position, but don't want to force her.  What can I do to motivate her to pull herself up?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="31" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:44:18.783" Title="How can I help my child learn to pull herself up?" Tags="|standing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="86" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T01:26:41.010" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Transactions don't have to use real money.  An alternative to real money is to use some sort of tokens (this is often called the &quot;token system&quot;) - poker chips work well for this (they have denominations, are colourful, cheap, and look roughly like coins), but you can use anything really.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Advantages over real money are that you control the price of rewards, and what rewards are possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than having real money to spend on things, you can spend tokens on things that money can't buy: an extra story at bedtime, a walk to the park, and so on.  Young kids are happy with these rewards, and they don't really cost you anything (the extra story or walk is probably as enjoyable for you as the kid).  Things that really cost money generally require a lot of tokens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good practice for the tokens may be to only give tokens for chores or behavior that helps the household, not personal tasks or behavior such as cleaning their own room or sleeping in their own bed.  The tokens should never have a cash value.  They should only be for extra privileges (sleeping in parents bed) other non-tangibles.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the sleeping-in-own-bed issue is resolved, the number of tokens gained can be reduced (or the cost of rewards can be increased) until the token doesn't really gain anything.  (In real life, prices do increase, so this doesn't teach false financial lessons).  This makes it easier to wean the kid off rewards for each behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, something that I do is to require increasingly good behaviour for the same number of tokens.  For example, when toilet training if there were no accidents for one day, that was one token.  Once that was achieved, no accidents for two days in a row gained one token; then three days in a row, and so forth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I used the Fibonacci sequence: 1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21... so that fairly quickly so many days are required that it's just normal behaviour and no-one remembers about the reward, plus we get to learn about interesting sequences of numbers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="84" LastEditorUserId="1192" LastEditDate="2011-08-24T18:30:22.583" LastActivityDate="2011-08-24T18:30:22.583" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="87" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="49" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:11:47.443" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like David said, signing may or may not improve verbal communication. And if you're not careful, you can run into the problems efalcao mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I think teaching your infant/toddler/child to sign is a wonderful idea. We started with our first child at 6 months (and it wasn't just signing, we also talked and sang to her as much as possible). At that age they have little to no ability to mimick you, but that doesn't mean they aren't learning. I think we often underestimate what our children can learn from their surroundings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think one of the most significant benefits of signing is that it helps children learn that their are &quot;words&quot; attached to &quot;things.&quot; At first, speech is a game to the children--they do a lot of experimentation and make up a lot of gibberish. Somewhere along the line, though, they learn that there is a meaning attached to the sounds you're making. This is all true for signing as well, and my humble opinion is that presenting sign language as a supplement to speech will speed up this learning process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take this for what it's worth--it's not based on research and I only have a sample sample size of 1! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T02:11:47.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="88" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="109" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:18:52.820" Score="18" ViewCount="7758" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am curious how a child can be helped to move on from his/her pacifier, and what age is a good age to do this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T16:30:42.217" LastActivityDate="2024-01-09T02:18:34.130" Title="When should a child stop using a pacifier, and how can I help with this transition?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|age-appropriate|pacifier|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="90" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2627" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:28:32.037" Score="6" ViewCount="23493" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Background&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a child who is allergic to dairy, there are soy-based formulas. However, soy has phytoestrogens, estrogen-like hormones, to which infants are sensitive*, **.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Question&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any non-soy, non-dairy infant formulas or formula recipes available? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/soy/NS_patient-soy/DSECTION=safety&quot;&gt;The Mayo Clinic page&lt;/a&gt;, under infants and breasfeeding. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;**&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2661347/?tool=pubmed&quot;&gt;Canadian Paediatric Society 2009. Concerns for the use of soy-based formulas in infant nutrition. Paediatr Child Health. 14(2): 109–113.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="48" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T14:17:26.010" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T21:30:28.570" Title="Are there any non-soy, non-dairy infant formulas?" Tags="|infant|formula|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="91" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="108" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:30:43.423" Score="23" ViewCount="16641" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to potty train much earlier than is common, when my son is 12 to 14 months old.  What's the best way to go about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="91" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-24T14:16:56.427" LastActivityDate="2019-07-24T14:16:56.427" Title="How can I potty train a 12-month-old?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="92" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:31:01.330" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In &quot;How to Behave so Your Children Will too&quot; they say &quot;never give away ice cream&quot;. By that they mean use treats and fun things as a way to remind yourself to focus on their good behaviour. &#xA;I try to consider the value proposition of my children doing things that they don't want to do and what they get out of it. David Murdoch mentioned that his wife's charges are demanding things from her in return for doing stuff. I want to encourage this kind of negotiation. Sometimes I ask my kids (boys, 7&amp;amp;9) what will make this worth their while. Their answers often surprise me: more time in the park, a bike ride, a friend over, pizza for dinner. This ties in nicely with Tony Meyer's token system. We used paper paint sample cards and wrote reminders on them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for sleeping with parents, we enjoy morning cuddles with our children. We got to this point by putting limits on when this would happen. First, they must knock on the door. Entering without being invited = no. There was an alarm clock before they could tell time. After it rang, they could join us. Sometimes we would come to their bed for a bit if they needed reassurance. Back rubs and a teddy would help (&quot;It's important to stay in bed so teddy doesn't get lonely&quot;). Very important to &lt;strong&gt;know why&lt;/strong&gt; they are coming into your bed so you can deal with the cause if it is nightmares. Bribery with money is not recommended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T02:31:01.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="93" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="85" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:34:16.603" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mine doesn't like tummy time either. I've had the most success getting her to pull herself up by having her grab my fingers as I pull her up.  I do this every chance I get, and it seems to be working on her subconscious, that is she will sit up and stand up on her own more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started out kind of holding her wrists as I did pulled her up when were playing around.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.  Now sometimes she'll hold onto my fingers if I put them in her hand and she'll follow them up under her own power....although maybe she &quot;thinks&quot; I'm still doing all the work. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="92" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T02:34:16.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="94" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="122" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:37:46.973" Score="5" ViewCount="55369" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read that this can happen during teething, and she is now 4 months.  Thing is, she doesn't have any teeth and isn't really showing the signs in full force yet.  She's not in any discomfort than I can perceive so I doubt it's an ear infection.&#xA;She just swats at her ear and sometimes she pushes on it...and it's usually around feeding time.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="92" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:17:44.520" LastActivityDate="2017-01-19T05:26:46.873" Title="Why is my daughter pulling at her ear when she is eating?" Tags="|infant|behavior|feeding|ear|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="95" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:45:21.437" Score="11" ViewCount="638" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 8 months, our daughter is fed up of breastfeeding. She eats solid food enthusiastically, similarly for formula in a bottle, but seems done with boobs. She'll take breastmilk from a bottle, but prefers formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We could persevere with nursing, but it's probably just not worth it unless there's a great reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... is there a great reason?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="93" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:18:01.740" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:18:01.740" Title="What are the benefits of breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding at 8 months?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|weaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="96" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="58" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:55:02.837" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know of anything &quot;official&quot;, but I'm not sure &quot;official&quot; would be better.  Kids are different from one another, and no average or generality is helpful in predicting what will work best for any individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found that kids are pretty good at signaling those transitions.  I could definitely tell when breast milk alone wasn't enough for my son, and then I started introducing other foods.  I do make it a point to wait a few days after introducing a new food before introducing another, just so that if something causes a problem we know which food is the culprit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T02:55:02.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="97" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="91" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:56:47.030" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Three parts to toilet training: recognizing &quot;the feeling&quot; (aka readiness), knowing where to go, and getting undressed. The hard part is getting them to recognize &quot;the feeling&quot; when they have to go. For young children, they say it's more about training the parents. Be the scientist and keep notes about when they drink and when they go. Then put them on the toilet at regular intervals with a book and give LOTS of praise when you hear a noise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing where to go can be done by modeling with a teddy. Have your child teach the teddy where to go at the same time as they are learning. Play-acting with a toy helps instill the routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, getting undressed is a big hassle for really young children (an sometimes their parents too)! If you want them to be completely independent dress them in long t-shirts. Elastic-waist pants are good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you start, don't go back. Try these resources: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.trustyguides.com/potty-training2.html&quot;&gt;Pre-toilet Training&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0091912733&quot;&gt;Potty Training in One Week&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T02:56:47.030" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="98" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="95" CreationDate="2011-03-30T02:59:49.603" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is a clinical dietician with a specialization in pediatric nutrition. What she has told me is that the literature suggests that most of the benefits of breast milk for infants--such as building up immunities--are seen in the first six months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, this is not an either/or situation. If your research suggests that breast milk is still important for your daughter at 8 months, you can always pump and bottle feed her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T02:59:49.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="99" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="154" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:02:26.807" Score="16" ViewCount="58532" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5-year-old son. At school, another child might have a toy he wants. He gets frustrated at not being able to get it and he bites them. This is not defensive, more aggressive. Once, he was biting so hard that he left teeth marks and bruises on his brother - luckily no blood was drawn. We did bite him back until he objected, but it didn't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I get my 5-year-old to stop biting his brother and classmates?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-13T13:53:17.000" LastActivityDate="2018-12-13T13:53:17.000" Title="How can I get my 5-year-old to stop biting others?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|biting|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="100" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="118" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:07:13.497" Score="25" ViewCount="1568" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children (7&amp;amp;9) always seem to be trying to get each other into trouble. The frequent sniping, digs, put-downs, and exclusion cause me concern. Many times the fighting comes down to a control issue: who is allowed in whose bedroom, authority over toys (&quot;that's mine and I didn't say you can play with it&quot;). Sometimes the argument starts to get physical, at which time I intervene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want them to be friends. Do I let them sort things out for themselves? How can I get the competitiveness and fighting to stop? How do I foster their friendship rather than rivalry? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for advice on how to proactively avoid sibling rivalry because not everyone grows out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T16:39:07.640" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T16:39:07.640" Title="How do you address sibling rivalry?" Tags="|siblings|fighting|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="75" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:09:36.693" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;What to do depends on &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she isn't getting it done.  Most kids won't walk up to you and say &quot;this is too hard&quot; or &quot;this teacher and I don't get along so I find doing work for him/her stressful&quot; or &quot;I'm worried about this bully and I can't concentrate&quot; or &quot;you and dad fighting all the time has me too stressed to work&quot; or &quot;I'm having low-grade migraines&quot; or &quot;my blood sugar is messed up&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a kid who wasn't having trouble with homework starts to, &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; has changed, and the kid herself may not know that it has or understand the effect on her.  Incentives or punishments can help with lack of motivation, but not with stress, medical issues, fear of a particular teacher, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by figuring out what has changed, and you'll find your answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T03:09:36.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="102" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="119" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:10:17.067" Score="30" ViewCount="5860" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dinner with my 5-year-old is an ordeal. I do not want to cook separate meals. How do I stop the fighting at dinner and get them to eat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:18:43.320" LastActivityDate="2016-05-27T13:47:51.240" Title="How do you feed a picky eater?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|food|eating|fighting|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="103" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="114" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:13:27.140" Score="23" ViewCount="62720" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child has started to use swear words. This is shocking because he is using words that we don't use. I'm not sure how to react! How do I get this to stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-23T16:01:42.913" LastActivityDate="2017-03-15T11:27:11.567" Title="How do you stop a child from using bad language and profanity?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|social-development|profanity|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="95" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:15:40.340" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;By 6 months, they've gotten a lot of vaccinations (if you are doing vaccinations) so their immunity is a lot stronger by then. Every baby weans at different times too so yes, like philosodad said, you can just bottle feed them breast milk if you wanted them to continue to consume breast milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/all_about_more2.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;studies&lt;/a&gt; though comparing the overall health of breastfed babies vs. non-breastfed:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Breastfed for 16-30 months of age: Breastfeeding was noted to decrease the number of infant illnesses and indirectly improve toddler health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A statistically significant protective effect against Hodgkin's disease among children who are breastfed at least 8 months compared with children who were breastfed no more than 2 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children given cow's milk-based formula in their first three months were 52% more likely to develop IDDM (diabetes mellitus) than those not given cow's milk formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Preliminary data from researchers at the University of North Carolina and Duke University comparing 54 children with JRA and a control group without JRA (juvenile rheumatoid arthritis) of similar age and race indicates that children who were breastfed were only 40% as likely to develop JRA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T03:15:40.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:24:11.160" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, I think you need to intervene to show them that their behavior is unacceptable. I would suggest equal &quot;punishments&quot; as well so they don't think you are playing favorites. Have them apologize to each other and hug after serving their &quot;time&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will eventually be friends, it's just a phase they go through having to share their space while trying to figure their identities out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T03:24:11.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="106" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="110" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:25:01.890" Score="11" ViewCount="8369" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's school is not a good fit for him. I want to move him but minimize the disruption. When is the best time (grade) for boys to change schools?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: &quot;not a good fit&quot; = not responsive to his needs &#xA;The school has 25+ kinds in a class. Many of them struggle. My guys are bright, busy (active) and bored in a school that, from talking to other parents, encourages boys to change programs. This year my son's teacher suggested he be tested for ADD, not gifted (he's been tested and he doesn't quite meet the criteria for either), and further suggested that the French Immersion program was not for him (he tested as being at grade level for a uni-lingual francophone and reads well above grade level in English). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T16:47:30.943" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T16:47:30.943" Title="How do you decide when it is time to change schools?" Tags="|education|school|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="91" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:33:32.863" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many parents find that the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;elimination communication&quot;&lt;/a&gt; method, also known as 'natural infant hygene' is a simple approach. It is important to clarify that this approach is not 'potty training'. Rather, it is a two-way communication. Children know how to potty when they come out of the womb, and most will let you know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic principle of this approach is that children communicate when they need to go, and that the most difficult part of toilet training is un-training the diaper training. Typically, a parent waits for a child to finish pooping and then changes the diaper. This trains the child to poop in their diapers. But the fact that children pee when their diaper comes off may be evidence that they would prefer not to pee and poop on themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 'elimination communication' approach starts when the child makes a pooping face - often when feeding early on. The parent removes the diapers and holds the child over a toilet. There are toilets that a 3 month old can use (figure 1). When the child poops/pees, the parent makes a 'cue' sound ('sss' = pee;  'mooo' = poo). The child learns to associate the sound with eliminating and will eventually learn to poop/pee when the sound is made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach focuses on &lt;em&gt;communicating&lt;/em&gt; with the child and &lt;em&gt;allowing&lt;/em&gt; them to put their waste in a receptacle. It is not important to catch all of the poops and pees, but it does reduce the number of wet or poopy diapers that that need to be purchased, changed, and discarded or washed. And when the child is old enough to go to the toilet on their own, it will seem natural to them it will not as necessary to train.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/RE3Hx.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T03:33:32.863" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="88" CreationDate="2011-03-30T03:38:59.930" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, I'd have them self-pacifying before they go to school at the very latest. Since you don't know how long it will take to wean them off, it's probably better to give yourself a head start of 6 months - a year before the time you'd like them cut off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start weaning them off by having it for exclusive use only: only for bedtime, only in the car, etc... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other parents have done the following to stop it cold-turkey:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;creating a scenario like the &quot;tooth fairy&quot;, you exchange your paci for a coin or toy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;having the pediatrician in on it and turning it over to the doctor and the doctor gives them a reward of some sort (lollipop or certificate)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;having a send-off for the paci via balloons&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you have a new addition, you can tell them that the baby needs the paci now and that they have grown to be a &quot;big boy/girl&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T03:38:59.930" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="106" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:01:42.490" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Other then the typical transition period after summer when the likelihood that multiple kids will be new; no time is ideal. The only other time would be from elementary to middle school or middle school to high school. Transition periods for children and adults are tough. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it was up to me I would wait until this upcoming summer then make the switch. The sooner the better &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; the school is indeed the issue you are trying to solve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24" LastEditorUserId="24" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T04:10:14.220" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T04:10:14.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:05:09.390" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a strong believer in not forcing a child to eat any food.  Some kids are just picky, and others are responding to their body's warnings -- about allergies, chemical sensitivities, and other hazards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a picky eater.  We found out in my late teens that most of the foods I wouldn't eat as a child were things that could cause me serious health problems due to a chemical sensitivity.  I had an instinct to avoid them.  Lucky, my mom humored me, having grown up with a sister who had serious allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is having it your way worth risking your child's health?  My son, at five, could warm up some chicken nuggets or get lunch meat and crackers if he didn't want to eat what the adults were having. It's no big deal.  Also, once he realized that no food would be forced on him, (and I started letting him pick out new foods that we'd learn to prepare together) he slowly became a more adventurous eater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T04:05:09.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:10:43.863" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used to have big fights at home over food. We just let it go. Everyone is happy now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, sometimes my child eats only meat, sometimes only carbohydrates, sometimes only fruit. I trust my child to know what is currently missing in their body. I certainly don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously we don't serve candy and cakes instead of real food, but I'm more than willing to just boil some pasta or a sausage. It doesn't take that long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the child wants to taste our food, most of the time not. I believe eventually my child will grow up and enjoy a variety of food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="98" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2016-05-24T13:06:12.790" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T13:06:12.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="103" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:11:41.347" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The same way you get any behavior which you do not approve of to stop; follow your disciplinary routine, whatever that may be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T04:11:41.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="103" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:26:50.620" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely don't let it slide, but also don't overreact. We used a consistent timeout policy (warning, ultimatum, timeout) with our teenager when he was younger, and despite the fact that he cusses like there is no tomorrow with his friends now, he will almost never cuss in front of us. With our four younger kids, all under 6yo, we also use a consistent timeout policy. They have just discovered that &quot;poop&quot; and &quot;stupid&quot; get quite a rise out of many people, but we just model when appropriate use of those words are and discipline when they try to use those and other words inappropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Listening to a child use curse words is difficult, but if you emphasize it too much, it becomes more of a mysterious thing that they want to explore further (and will when you least want them to). Model good language, but also try to find the source of the bad language and eliminate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to mention my philosophy on teenagers cursing amongst their friends, I think that many people fear that cursing teens will grow up to be criminals or thugs, but really cursing for teenagers is just another way of exploring vocabulary that they've (hopefully) been exposed to very little previously. I'm living proof that a teenager can go crazy with cursing in his younger years and still grow up to be successful. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T04:26:50.620" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="91" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:33:18.430" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless you have a parent who is with the child 24/7 and can constantly and consistently monitor the child's facial expressions and movements, I would highly recommend not wasting your time. In most modern societies today, this is quite an ambitious and futile goal. If you can't be utterly consistent with it, then you end up confusing your child which makes it delay future potty training. Wait until they're around 3 years old and start trying then. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not to say it can't be done, but I make my argument after ambitiously trying with 2 of our 5 kids to start potty training too early, which backfired on us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: I don't quite understand the down vote since there was no comment left, but after scanning the &quot;Super Nanny&quot; book, Jo Frost gives pretty much the same advice about not starting too early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T02:50:12.950" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T02:50:12.950" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="90" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:34:37.950" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should not be attempting to make formula. It is extremely complex and would not provide the nourishment the child needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soy in large quantities is certainly not good for an infant; or anyone for that matter. Low dosages per the soy based formula should not harm the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only option I'm aware of which avoids both soy and dairy is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://similac.com/baby-formula/similac-expert-care-alimentum&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Similac Expert Care Alimentum&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24" LastEditorUserId="24" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T04:02:01.637" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T04:02:01.637" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="88" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:35:16.103" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get them down to using a single pacifier, then cut a sliver off of the pacifier each day, making it shorter and shorter. I would recommend getting them off the pacifier before they are old enough to rationalize missing it; 8 - 13 months old maybe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T04:35:16.103" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:46:05.753" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;If things are escalating to the point of physical altercation, you've already waited too long to intervene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Model good behavior&lt;/strong&gt;. Avoid using harsh words with your family, even in jest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make house rules explicit&lt;/strong&gt;.  Write them down and post them where all can see.  Include not just the &quot;big&quot; stuff, but also the precursors (which shouldn't be happening anyway), share/take turns, no yelling, no name-calling, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't &quot;wait until it gets bad enough&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; -- that's how kids come to think the rules don't really matter.  When you see an infraction, give a calm but stern warning.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If a child persists in a bad behavior after the warning, then that child goes in time-out (1-1.5 minutes per year of age is the usual guideline).  Don't give the child any attention in time-out, discuss or debate.  If/when the child tries to leave time out, put them back in without a word, and reset the timer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When time-out is over, ask the child to explain why he/she was in time-out. If he/she won't/can't, then explain it clearly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the child to apologize (a good apology is sincere and specific). If he/she won't give a proper apology, he/she remains in time out, and after a few minutes go back to #2 above.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give a hug and move on, it's over now.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take the time to &lt;strong&gt;teach your kids better conflict resolution skills&lt;/strong&gt; (can't decide what to watch on TV? flip a coin or watch his show, then hers; both of you want the same toy? play together or take turns).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do challenging things as a family&lt;/strong&gt; -- take a multi-day backpacking trip, design and build a tree house, take martial arts classes.  The more your children rely on one another as teammates, the less they will see one another as adversaries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; siblings bicker to some degree.  To be close as adults, they don't need to be conflict-free now.  Focus on ending the behavior that is disruptive (preferably &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; it becomes violent) and teaching your kids better way to resolve the conflicts that will eventually crop up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-04-11T05:37:29.947" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T05:37:29.947" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:48:03.787" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five kids range from &quot;ultra picky&quot; to &quot;eat only healthy foods&quot; to &quot;surprise, I've changed my likes and dislikes&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep healthy foods around, so their choices are all generally healthy. Keep reintroducing new foods that they wouldn't eat within a reasonably close timeframe. Sometimes it takes 7-8 tries. Try different ways of preparing the same foods. Try to make the food look inviting to a kid (make a smiley face out of the vegetables). Give much praise when they try something new. When your kid(s) are listening, tell other people how much your kids love trying new foods. Make trying new things an exciting experience. Try eating a bit of the food with them at the same time. Say, &quot;Let's do this together! I'll have a bite with you!&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, its futile, but they still need to know that you're in charge, so I'm definitely an advocate of forcing them to at least have a bite of each thing on their plate. If they don't, we use a standard timeout regime just like anything else: warning, ultimatum, timeout for one minute / year of age, apology, sit back down and eat what I told you to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side note: Don't praise multiple helpings, even if the food they're eating multiple helpings of is healthy. Just praise that they tried it. Praising a second or third helping encourages overeating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T04:48:03.787" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="103" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:54:14.667" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you need to understand why your child is using these words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are part of the language; your child has heard adults use these words; children learn language by emulating adult speech. So, it is entirely normal, natural, and healthy for children to use swear words as part of learning about them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a 4-year-old who likes to call everyone &quot;fucker&quot;. If it gets a strong reaction, he will do it over and over. He has moved beyond learning about the language at this point. I see him at pickup time at my kids' preschool, which is his favorite time to do this. He also punches people, and is pretty good at it - it hurts!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before I had children, I was generally a calm, mellow person, able to take things in stride. I rarely raised my voice and never resorted to force. That changed when I had children. I realized that they are &lt;strong&gt;experts&lt;/strong&gt; at pushing my buttons. They know just what to say and do to get a rise out of me. Why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We deny children a great deal of power that human children had over most of the history of the species. This is difficult for them to accept (as it should be!). Feeling deprived of power, they seek out any substitute power they can find. When they discover that cursing gets a reaction, they are likely to use it whenever they feel powerless. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, they may be wishing for attention, especially from a parent who is busy (and who isn't?). They may see that these words get attention. If they're feeling desperate for that attention, they will accept scolding over nothing at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recognize that these are substitutes for their real needs. They aren't able to recognize that; they are not mature enough to. (Most adults have the same problem; I often eat chocolate when I'm tired.) Feel compassion for how difficult it is to be a child in the world we have created, and how powerless they feel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child around me acts out, they sometimes succeed at pushing my buttons, but when I can remember what's going on, I pause, take a deep breath, and try to find out what they are really needing. I think this sets a good example for them to follow in their own self-care, so that they can learn to connect with their true needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I see that 4-year-old at the preschool, and he starts to act out, I immediately pick him up, look him right in the eye, and ask him how he's doing. I give him a couple minutes of my attention. It seems to work really well, and defuses the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="100" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T04:54:14.667" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="75" CreationDate="2011-03-30T04:56:46.023" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't waste your time trying to get her to be self-reliant right now when she hasn't already formed the correct habits for accomplishing her work. You're primary goal is to sit down with her each and every night and help her establish a system of discipline and organization. Help her learn how to study and learn. If you don't know how to help her, find someone who can. Don't sit back and expect her to accomplish the work on her own and find out that she's just not doing it. Worse yet, don't let it get to the point where she is telling you that she's done, when she's not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't let her think for a second that not finishing her work is even an option. Not to suggest that you should tell her this directly, but show her through your involvement and discipline in staying engaged with her work. Stay in touch with teachers and make sure you have a clear picture of their test, project, and homework deliverables. Make a calendar and have them update and refer to it regularly. You maintain it for them and walk them through it until they learn the system and can emulate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, never talk about school work in a negative way like &quot;I know this is hard, but you can do it&quot;. Always refer to the work as a positive and achievable thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T04:56:46.023" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="94" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:09:59.257" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two of my five kids did this, the others pulled or squeezed various other things at different ages. With the ear thing in particular, I think that it is just that the ear/nose/throat are all connected, so they may be feeling some pressure as they swallow and they touch the point where they perceive it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids have weird habits that they get into, then they go away all of the sudden. I'm not a doctor, but... I wouldn't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T05:09:59.257" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:13:57.153" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's difficult for everyone when a child is fighting sleep. Everyone is tired, which makes it hard to be patient (for parents) or obedient (for children). Parents are desperate for even a few minutes of quiet, private, intimate time, and that time is quickly evaporating as the child keeps bouncing around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recognize that alarm clocks and strict scheduling of life are not natural, and are particularly difficult for children to adapt to. (And for adults, too; how many of us love the snooze button?) Our ancestors usually slept until they were done sleeping, instead of letting a machine tell them when to wake up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you adjust your mornings to let people sleep as long as they want? Most people can't, but if you can...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's great that you have a rich bedtime routine. This ritual helps a child know what's going on. The world is a complex place, and a familiar routine can be reassuring. This will work greatly to your favor when your child decides to go along with your plan. And that will happen; this trouble will pass in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children aren't born knowing &lt;strong&gt;how&lt;/strong&gt; to go to sleep. Falling asleep comes naturally, but putting yourself to sleep is a skill. I teach my children the &quot;three C's of going to sleep&quot;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;calm&lt;/strong&gt; - no rolling around and squirming&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;quiet&lt;/strong&gt; - no talking, singing, clapping, or kicking the wall &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;comfortable&lt;/strong&gt; - no standing, or holding a foot in the air, or sitting on a chair&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(The 'q' is a joke that they can laugh at when they're older.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that when a tired child does all 3 of these, they fall asleep very quickly. So teaching this lets them know what to do, and helps them recognize what they're doing that is preventing sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, when I restless kid in the evening, I find it usually helps to snuggle up with the &#xA;child. Kids love snuggles, so this is attractive to them, and gives them a reason to stay in bed. If a child continues to fight sleep, I am right there to remind them &quot;calm, quiet, and comfortable.&quot; Having taught them the &quot;three C's&quot;, that works better than &quot;stop hitting yourself; stop whistling; stop kicking the covers off.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember to take it easy on yourself. You will get through this. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="100" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T05:13:57.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:20:48.793" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three children, the eldest daughter is the picky one. We have always had a rule that you are not forced to eat anything, but you have to taste - we made this rule explicitly to &quot;one spoonful per one year of age&quot; - so now that she's turned five, she will taste 5 spoonfuls of each dish. Sometimes she even ends up liking what she was suspicious about at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="103" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T05:20:48.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="94" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:32:48.487" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son did that some times at around that age... the key observation was that when he was doing it during nursing, his ear was at the same level as his mouth or below it. The theory was that he was getting liquid seeping along his sinuses and heading for his ear and he could &quot;hear&quot;, or at least feel, it. We adjusted the way he was held while nursing so that his head was more &quot;upright&quot; and the ears were above the mouth and it went away. The main concern we had was his sharp little nails were scratching the area just infront of his ear all up. (Those cutesy little mitten things they sell at the stores in the baby areas... yeah... pretty but useless.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T05:32:48.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="35" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:37:12.057" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't expect anything. Having 5 kids, I'm well on my way towards having my own statistical sample. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;15 yo boy - started saying words at 1 year, could speak well before 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5 yo boy - pretty much only grunted and pointed at things until over 2 yo then started talking in near perfect sentences. He is now an eloquent speaker in 2 languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3.5 yo boy - started saying words at 12 months, made slow but consistent progress until he was speaking fairly well 2 yo. Speaks one language at an average level, the other very little. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;18 month twin boy - Says about 15 words now, started at about 16 months. Learning very fast, understands near everything and responds to commands very well in 2 languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;18 month twin girl - Says about 5-8 words, starting recently. Interacting a bit slower than her twin. Doesn't respond to commands in any language, but that's probably just because she's a girl. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think of speech as a benchmark like crawling and walking. I don't think its any indicator that something is wrong if your child is not talking well into 2-3 yo. I've seen some kids that don't talk until three, but now understand and speak very well at 6-7 years old. The thing is that some kids understand, but just decide that they don't want to speak or interact until they're ready. With our kids, this usually seems to go hand-in-hand with their general tendency to be cautious. For example, our 5yo has a very cautious personality, and only does things when he's analyzed and prepared himself. He probably could have spoken complete sentences at 18 months, but chose to wait another 6-8 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T07:20:11.440" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:20:11.440" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="127" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="250" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:44:20.350" Score="17" ViewCount="43234" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12-month baby doesn't want to fall asleep in her own bed. We could do it in her rocking cot, but now it's too small, and currently we get her to sleep outside of bed, but every time she wakes up she just wants to get out of the bed. As a result she increasingly has slept in our bed instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The recommendations I've seen online are either for babies so small they can't stand up or toddlers. They say the child needs to learn how to relax herself to sleep. But our baby is not old enough to understand what you say, but big enough to stand and jump in her bed, which means that every time we put her to her bed, she stands up, jumps up and down and cries. This of course doesn't help her to fall asleep and I don't see how this would help her to learn to sleep on her own either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So any recommendations on how to do this for a 12-month old baby would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: I'm fully aware that there is nothing &quot;wrong&quot; about her sleeping in our bed. If we could have had her sleeping in our bed, we would have. It is not an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-05-23T07:35:40.883" LastActivityDate="2019-08-09T10:10:36.313" Title="How can I get my 12-month baby to sleep in her bed?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:50:31.627" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with other people that bribery is bad, but you have to know when it's bribery and when it isn't. Picking up the Lego mess isn't a bribe, because its not her mess. You're paying her to perform a service. It's an even exchange of labor for compensation. This can be a good opportunity to teach a child about money and finances if played right. If she had made the Lego mess, I wouldn't offer to pay her. The thing with this particular situation is that you may be missing an opportunity to teach your younger child about picking up his own mess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that are rules, you don't want to negotiate on with bribes. You want to clearly establish that you're the boss and that you don't have to pay your child to follow the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T05:50:31.627" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="106" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:57:25.753" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll base this on my own experiences as I changed schools several times. Two times was at the start of the school-year, one was in the middle of it. It made no difference at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is disruption of course, but how much depends in my opinion mostly on your child. If your son doesn't like his current school, the disruption is minimal. He doesn't want to go to that school already, so relieving him of it is not a disruption at all. If he doesn't like the school but still has friend there it can be disruptive if he has trouble making new friends. Then you'll need to make sure he can keep seeing his old friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if the school is not a good fit there is no need to wait. In many cases this will mean at the start of the next school year, sometimes it's faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T05:57:25.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2011-03-30T05:58:43.443" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Diapers, car-seat, onesies, burp cloth, wipes. That's it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Steal a few swaddle blankets from the hospital (they'll usually give them to you for free). Don't buy needless furniture: change diapers on the bed, or the ground (you don't need to waste money on furniture that will only last 6–8 months). Breastfeed so you don't have to buy formula. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forget everything else, because you can buy it when you need it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2013-12-27T13:55:43.380" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T13:55:43.380" CommentCount="4" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T03:49:57.797" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="127" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:07:14.030" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, develop a bedtime routine -- brush teeth, get in pajamas, get in bed, read a story, have a special stuffed animal or favorite quilt, etc.  This teaches your kid the mental process of accepting that this is time to sleep, and that time to sleep is good and comfy and relaxing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, figure out &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; your child wants to sleep in your bed.  Is it just an attention thing?  Is she just used to it?  Is she scared of something (the dark, a noise, the quiet, etc)?  Chances are, since your child can't communicate it to you, this will take some guesswork.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you use a baby monitor, you should be able to rule noise issues in or out.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try a night light to rule out the &quot;afraid of the dark&quot; possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's an attention/comfort/habit thing, here's how I've solved that in children her age before:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the bedtime routine is done, sit in a corner of the room and read a book.  Don't pay attention to your child no matter what she does, just be where she can see you while she is lying in bed.  She's going to cry and scream and have a fit like she normally does, but after a few days that will start to fade, and you can start sitting just outside her room (where she can either see you or see/hear that you are there).  In 2-3 weeks you should be able to go about your business normally once the bedtime routine is done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that this only works if your bedtime routine is unfailingly consistent.  It's part of the recipe to give your child security and calmness at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T06:07:14.030" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:12:52.913" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Punishment, threats, bribes, and rewards are two, err, four sides of the same coin.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our grandparents knew what to do. When a child misbehaved, you beat them. When a child made a mistake, you beat them. If you want a child to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beating_the_bounds&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;remember something important&lt;/a&gt;, you beat them. If you were too nice to a child, gave them praise, or gave too many gifts, you would &quot;spoil&quot; the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our parents' generation decided to make a change. Instead of putting children down, we should lift them up. Praise, bribes, and rewards would help them focus on positive behavior, on being good people, and seeing themselves in a positive light. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, we are starting to realize that rewards and bribes have the same problems as punishments and threats. The problems include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;you only get the desired behavior when you are around&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;you are signing up to punish/threat/bribe/reward from now on, whenever you want your child to do something&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the &lt;strong&gt;appearance&lt;/strong&gt; of behaving correctly is held higher than the &lt;strong&gt;act&lt;/strong&gt; of doing so&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;you assume, and demonstrate, that you don't trust the child to follow their own intrinsic motivation. They will learn that the only way to get someone to do do something is by &quot;making it worth their while.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This last one is the most troubling. Would you steal your buddy's wallet if you could get away with it? Do you need the threat of punishment (external or internal) to stop yourself? Or do you refrain because you care about your friend and want to be good to them? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd rather show my children that I trust them and believe in their ability to empathize with the needs of others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hardest part is figuring out how to do this. We have lots of examples and encouragement to work through punishment, threats, bribes and rewards. Systems of control and domination are built deeply in to our language and are hard to overcome*. Where do we go for guidance on how to act otherwise? It's hard to find.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*do you see how natural that sounds? Do you see how &quot;hard to overcome&quot; assumes the need for control and domination of self and speech?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="100" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T17:03:26.580" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:03:26.580" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="103" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:17:17.497" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;For me, the answer depends on the age of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Younger Children&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a child who is, say, 3 years old or under, just ignoring it is a best practice.  At that point, if they don't get a reaction, they probably won't use those words again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another technique at that age is to morph what they've said into a different word.  If they say &quot;fuck&quot; for example, you can ask them... &quot;what was that you said about a frog?&quot;  A lot of times this kind of redirection can work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Toddlers&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually they'll get to an age, though, where they know swear words, and they know they can get a reaction.  Although I would recommend a tamer consequence at first, what finally worked for us was the very unpleasant &quot;washing out your mouth with soap&quot; punishment for swearing (which meant having to lick a clean bar of soap to &quot;wash away the bad words&quot;).  Our son went through a phase when he was about 4, where he was severely testing the limits with swear words, especially the &quot;f&quot; word.  When that consistently earned him soap in the mouth, the behavior stopped in a very short time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you may not agree on that particular punishment, and that is fine.  It worked for me, but as other users have said, just &lt;em&gt;be consistent&lt;/em&gt; and calmly apply discipline as you always would.  The worst thing you can do is to freak out because the kids will enjoy getting a reaction from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as another poster mentioned, it is important to explain to your child about swear words, and why they can't use them.  Just explain that they are bad words, and that sometimes grown-ups will say them, but that children should never say them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teenagers&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I don't have experience in this area, abut I imagine the techniques will have to be completely different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you do a sufficient job teaching your toddler not to swear, you probably won't have much of a problem as they grow older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastEditorUserId="12" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T07:07:45.763" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:07:45.763" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:25:57.553" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always tell my kids that I will do my best to take care of them, including using my money to that purpose. They don't need to worry about that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started giving an allowance to my oldest at age 7, and we increase it every year on his birthday. This money is really for him to learn with, not because he needs to buy things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first, he didn't know how to spend it. It piled up in his room for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then he started buying gourmet cake at $5 / slice. His money disappeared in a hurry. Now he is having a valuable lesson about the built-in scarcity of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also tell him he has to share whatever he buys with the family that's with him. If I buy a sandwich for myself and my kids are hungry, of course I will share it, so I require the same of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still place some restrictions on what he can buy, even though it's his own money. He may not buy a 6-pack of soda and drink the whole thing in a day, for example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very careful to pay allowance without linking it to behavior. Regardless of whether he does his chores, or whether he behaves himself, he always gets his allowance. That's because I believe that paying for behavior is a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1/bribing-the-kids-good-or-bad/133#133&quot;&gt;really bad idea&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard of an idea where a kid must put a portion of their allowance in savings, a portion goes to charity, and a portion they can spend. I haven't explored this; I'm just throwing it out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="100" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T06:25:57.553" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="91" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:28:49.987" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have a good space &amp;amp; climate for it, let your child run around outdoors naked as much as possible. This is a no-effort, no-teaching way for a child to learn about that whole poop and pee thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="100" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T06:28:49.987" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:31:16.910" Score="62" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up bilingual, and so does my son of 18 months. My son and I both have a Danish father and an Austrian mother. Here is what I've learned, from my own life as child and as parent, and from others:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Start immediately.&lt;/strong&gt; it won't do to decide on this after a year or more. It must be from the start, because kids learn even before birth, and most under the age of 10 months. They need to learn the &quot;melody&quot; and the sounds of the language, and that only works well early on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You must be native speaker,&lt;/strong&gt; or equal to it. I've seen Austrian homes where one parent speaks poor English in an attempt to teach the language. Doesn't work. It's not enough to teach individual words from picture books. It's not enough to speak what you learned in school. &lt;em&gt;You've got to know all the words you're ever going to need,&lt;/em&gt; and you only know that if you're a native or if you are immensely good at English as a foreign language. Don't even get me started on pronunciation and grammar! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be consistent.&lt;/strong&gt; I speak Danish to my son 99% of the time. I'd say any less than 90% and it doesn't catch on well. I do speak German with him if he's around other kids/people if I need them to understand too. But I also speak Danish to other small kids, mostly for fun but also to show that it's not a secret language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Show, don't tell.&lt;/strong&gt; I speak Danish to my wife 80% of the time. There are things that I can tell her easier in German, but mostly my son hears me talk this language with others too. It's not just for him. My side of the family also speaks Danish, wife's side German. Luckily we all understand each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Act natural.&lt;/strong&gt; Speaking any language is normal. Don't act special when speaking any particulate language. There should be no difference in the way you act, in relation to what language you speak. They're both just a language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Books and stuff.&lt;/strong&gt; This is actually the difficult part! It can be hard to find enough material/books/toys in the current country's foreign language. In my case, we're surrounded by German stuff but it's an effort to ensure enough Danish material to keep the balance. In particular, media goes here -- television, DVDs, computer stuff. Plan ahead, is the best advice I can give for this point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;English is third.&lt;/strong&gt; In our case, we're not in an English-language country. Third (and fourth, etc.) languages come easier to the child if the two primary languages are firmly in place first, so don't worry about thirds in the beginning, except if you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; in an English-language country, in which case it should be mixed in naturally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's it from the top of my head. I might edit and add more later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-31T23:36:10.913" LastActivityDate="2011-12-31T23:36:10.913" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="51" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:32:01.213" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;First an foremost, we ask our children leading questions to get them to think about what they're doing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: &quot;What are you doing?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child: &quot;I don't know.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: &quot;Your talking about poop at the table. Do you think that its appropriate to talk about that while we're trying to eat dinner?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child: &quot;No&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: &quot;What are you doing?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child: &quot;Talking meanly to my brother.&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: &quot;How does it make you feel when&#xA;someone talks meanly to you?&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child: &quot;Sad&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: &quot;How do you think your&#xA;brother feels when you talk meanly to&#xA;him?&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child: &quot;Sad&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: &quot;What would be a better way of asking him to open the door?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child: &quot;Brother, can you please open the door&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: &quot;That's a great idea, why don't you try it?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our 5 and 3 year old, consistent &quot;Super Nanny&quot; style timeout seems to be effective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give a warning&lt;/strong&gt; - &quot;This is your warning for talking about&#xA;poop at the dinner table&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give an ultimatum&lt;/strong&gt; -  &quot;If you&#xA;continue talking like that at the&#xA;table, you will go to timeout&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Send to timeout&lt;/strong&gt; - Grab their arm&#xA;gently, walk them to the timeout&#xA;chair/corner, sit them down, say&#xA;&quot;You're in timeout because you were&#xA;talking inappropriately at the&#xA;table&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Wait it out&lt;/strong&gt; - Set a timer for one&#xA;minute per child's age. If they get&#xA;up, don't say anything, just grab&#xA;them and put them back. If they're&#xA;talking to you, just ignore them. If&#xA;they're screaming / crying, just&#xA;ignore them. If they're still&#xA;screaming or crying hard when time&#xA;runs out, let them sit a little&#xA;longer to calm down (but this seldom&#xA;happens for us).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get them out&lt;/strong&gt; - Say, &quot;I put you in timeout because you were speaking inappropriately at the table. What do you have to say for yourself?&quot; Make sure they apologize and give you a hug. If they don't just let them sit another minute and repeat the step. Try not to ask questions like &quot;Why did I put you in timeout&quot; because that can be a source of confrontation. Just keep it simple.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our 18mo toddlers (and with the older kids when they were under 2yo), we just restrain them by holding both of their arms down to their sides firmly and looking them straight in the eyes and saying &quot;NO&quot; and shaking our heads. Then we stare at them for about 15 seconds. If they continue, we just remove them from the situation to prevent them from repeating the mistake. We have no doubt that timeout will work fine for them too. This teaches them that the word &quot;no&quot; and the action of shaking our heads means we're serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our 15 year old was younger, he was very oppositional, so techniques like timeout didn't work well with him. He would repeat his mistakes and resent that we put him in timeout. We had to work through some other underlying issues to improve the situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So based on my experience, timeout will work with 4 out of 5 kids. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T06:32:01.213" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:37:07.627" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's what I saw with my fraternal twins:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While learning to speak, all children develop some of their own dialect. Some words they will use incorrectly for a while. Many they can't pronounce correctly, so they say them differently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a singleton child, this usually gets corrected pretty quickly, as everyone around them is using correct language all the time. If they want to be understood, they need to use correct language, too, so they strive towards that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With twins, they learn from each other a lot of the time. If they can make themselves understood to each other, that will support their dialect. So it persists, at least for a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my twins spoke early and very clearly. The other knew just as much language, but had a very difficult time with consonants, so most people couldn't understand him. He ended up with his own, vowel-based dialect. The clear-spoken twin would translate the other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="100" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T06:37:07.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="75" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:54:31.630" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Besides all the points mentioned about stress, a child-teacher-relation and others, I would like to mention another: boredom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child I never did any homework, unless it was &lt;em&gt;absolutely&lt;/em&gt; necessary (like I had to give a class presentation or something). Reason was there &lt;em&gt;wasn't any challenge in it&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; want to say this is the case with your child, but it might be and it's absolutely worth checking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="112" LastEditorUserId="112" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T07:08:41.977" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:08:41.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2011-03-30T06:59:02.970" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids are different, families are different, don't stress on it too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you are asking the question, you are clearly aware that using the TV as a babysitter, letting your child watch inappropriate material, or failing to provide your child with real-world interaction (and lots of it) would be very bad for him or her.  Once you've avoided those pitfalls, what to watch, how often, etc. is a matter of taste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's how it's worked in my house:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was an infant, the TV was almost always on in our house.  My then-husband was deployed, and I'm used to a full house, so I needed the background noise.  I didn't really bother with kid movies -- other than passing on my aversion to total silence, what I watched wasn't making an impression on him anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was a toddler, we still used the TV mainly as a source of background noise, though in the mornings we'd often cuddle and watch a kid movie on DVD (we did NOT have any regular TV coming into the house at all).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that, there are great things you can do with a TV -- we've hooked up my digital camera to it so the little one can watch himself, shown photos of his father during absences, mirrored my computer screen when I need to make it easy for my son to follow along, and more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's just a thing.  Its influence in your child's life can be positive, neutral, or negative, depending 100% on what you choose to do with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T06:59:02.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:08:30.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally prefer rewards over money payment. Especially, I don't like the idea of paying the children for chores they do around the house. We all live in it together, and all have responsibilities within the house. And they have their part to do with it. To reach this goal, you have to teach them by experience and let them get used to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We established a system with our 2 eldest sons (ages 8 and 5) that each day one of them is &quot;on duty&quot;. This means that he needs to do some very simple chores around the house, like pick up the toys and things like that. He can get his brother to help, but it's his responsibility. By doing it every other day, they don't feel that &quot;they have to do these things all the time&quot;, and they do it quite happily. Of course, we encourage them with praise on their good work, and teach them how to do it correctly as we go. It got to a point that we could drop the whole &quot;on duty&quot; thing altogether, as they have grown used to doing these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On other things, where we had problems, like taking a shower, we took a slightly different reward approach. My second son would always fight and not want to take a shower. We established a reward system (after a few trails) for both of them so that the big one will not feel left out. It went like this: When we call them to the shower, if they come promptly and get into the shower without a fight, each gets a point. They collect points, and at the end of the week we check, if they got full points, they get a reward. The rewards is a &quot;note&quot; (like a coupon) and each week it is different. It could be an extra 1/2 hour of TV or computer time, a snack, an extra story at bedtime, etc. The idea is that they could use the coupon at any time they want. This worked really well, and after about 3 months we were able to drop the system gradually, as all shower issues have ceased.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="104" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T17:34:20.580" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:34:20.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="99" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:10:59.757" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell him that biting is bad. Let him bite you softly and let him see its hurting really bad. And bite him back 'hard' (not hurting, just bad enough to feel bad) so he sees it hurts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:10:59.757" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="99" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:16:20.220" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;First Things First&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to explain to your child that biting hurts, and that it hurts the other person as much as it would hurt them.  Make sure by the end of the conversation that they explain to you why they don't want to be bitten, and that they understand that is the reason they shouldn't bite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But sometimes kids this age get excited and don't remember not to bite.  How can you remind them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try Yo Gabba Gabba&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show him this.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UWNA-WQgI&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UWNA-WQgI&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yo Gabba Gabba is strangely good at getting some of these critical messages across.  Its very catchy and your five year old will &quot;get it&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then follow up constantly by reminding him of the song. He will remember the song and it will help him remember not to bite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If That Doesn't Work&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If just simply getting the message across doesn't solve the problem, there might be deeper issues behind the biting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to dig deeper to figure out why he is biting.  If this is a constant problem, it might be time to consult with a behavioral therapist.  Taking these kinds of problems seriously early on can save you and your child from big problems later.  A lot of times your health insurance can cover this, so it is likely worth at least checking out if you can't solve the problem on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastEditorUserId="12" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T18:24:35.153" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T18:24:35.153" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="146" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:20:35.617" Score="33" ViewCount="9138" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our parents suddenly don't apply their rules in our upbringing to our children. On the contrary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should we deal with this? Do we just let it be, or should we discuss the matter. I understand that a grandma role is different from a parent, but still it could undermine our authority or not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-01-29T12:16:41.963" LastActivityDate="2019-04-04T23:27:01.980" Title="How do you handle grandparents who spoil your children?" Tags="|behavior|grandparents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="58" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:25:40.717" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Soft food like strawberries and bananas can be eaten from the age of around 4 months old. White grapes without the skin are great too. Start with (very) little bites and bits per day. Some crouton staves (white bread) with no herbs are great to start out with too. Light bread can be sucked on too. Plain potatoes and thoroughly boiled vegetables can be eaten pretty easily too. White rice is pretty hard to digest for a young kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child can't handle a food yet they'll probably spit it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:25:40.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="146" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:27:35.800" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it depends on the child's exposure level to the grandparents. In my experience, grandparents tend to spoil more when they see the child less. When they have a more active care-taking role, they usually stop spoiling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you should always have open discussions with everyone that your child is close with on a regular basis on how you want your child treated, rewarded, and disciplined. This includes teachers, care takers, and your spouse / partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:27:35.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="58" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:41:32.113" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is &quot;official&quot; changes from one country to the next. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;World Health Organisation&lt;/a&gt; (WHO) recommends exclusive breastfeeding until at least 6 months (and continuing as a complement until 2 years!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is commonly advised to start with some fruits or vegetables around 4 months, but more as an opportunity for discovering different tastes and textures: don't expect a child of that age to get any real nourishment from that! If you give &lt;em&gt;pieces&lt;/em&gt; instead of mashed food the child also has the opportunity to practice holding things and manipulating them. It can be a mess, but in the long run it really pays off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along the same lines you can look up on &lt;strong&gt;baby-led weaning&lt;/strong&gt;: let your child show his/her interest in other food, like the one in your plates, and let him/her try what he/she wants (although you'll find some more precise guidelines).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child doesn't really &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; anything else than breastmilk or formula before &lt;em&gt;at least&lt;/em&gt; 6 months or even a year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="115" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-13T17:07:42.220" LastActivityDate="2018-07-13T17:07:42.220" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="146" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:45:55.537" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Find a balance...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's all right to have a few special privileges that only apply at Grandma's house.  That's a grandma's prerogative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being allowed to get away with bad behavior, eating only junk food, not getting enough sleep at night, or getting lavished with expensive new toys every visit, have to be nipped in the bud, fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discipline only works if it is consistent. If a child can't do 'x' at mom's house and can at Grandma's, then it's a mom's house rule and not a generally applicable moral.  If x=&quot;drink soda on the couch&quot; or &quot;watch TV before dinner&quot;, that's not a big deal.  If x=&quot;wander off at a store&quot; or &quot;hit my sister&quot; we have a real problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sleep/food thing is, I hope, self-explanatory for health reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the spoiling with gifts problem... this one caused a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of conflict with my parents, but in the end they came to respect my wishes.  My son, after an extended stay with my parents when he was a toddler, developed the expectation that going into any store necessitated buying him multiple treats, and that pouting and sulking and demanding would get him anything I was resistant to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This made life miserable for me &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; for him.  He was set in the idea that he &quot;needed&quot; every freaking thing that was in a commercial, and shopping with him was always a nightmare.  It wasn't even that he liked all the trinkets so much...my behavior was just so outside his new expectations that it was extremely stressful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once my mom finally toned it down, she realized that yes, it made life more pleasant for &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt; including her grandchild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:45:55.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="88" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:50:11.127" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a pacifier until 5 years old. An aunt of mine promised to give me the big present I wanted only if I'd get rid of it. And it worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I heard that you don't really need to worry unless the teeth get deformed from the too intensive sucking. When the child will go to school, the mockery of other children will quickly make it uninteresting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="115" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:50:11.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="127" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:55:43.010" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As HedgeMage said, a routine is very very important, especially the story telling part. Let your kid sit with you or lay in her bed while you're telling it and she'll already slowly go into sleep mode. Also important, when she goes to stay with her grand parents or such, is that they follow the same routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will not work after the first day of course, you'll need to be patient and both of you need to grow into the routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might still start jumping the bed or get out of the bed or such. In that case you need the following approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first 2 times: simply go into the room, pick her up, lay her down in bed and tell her 'now it's time to sleep'.&#xA;Afterwards simply go in and lay her down and leave the room without saying anything. NEVER stay to talk with her, never take her out of the room, never give her more attention then simply picking her up and laying her down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not easy, the first night might be hell, but you need to hang on. After a while (could already be the second or third night) she will start to realize that getting out of bed has no benefit, that it will not get your attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="116" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:55:43.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="99" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:59:35.897" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll give a go at a generic answer here, though I hope the querant will revise the question with more specifics so that I can, in turn, offer a more direct answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids that age may bite for a number of reasons, each with its own solution.  Here are a few of the most common, in no particular order:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Domination/control/failure to discipline : Like all living things, kids seek to control their environment, to get their own way.  If it's working for them, this behavior will continue until it stops working, at which point it will escalate to more violent behavior.  A proper time-out followed by making sure the child does not get whatever he/she sought to attain by biting, if consistently applied, will solve the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Failure to cope : If a human being is experiencing something he/she just doesn't know how to cope with, he/she may act out in any way that produces a reaction from others.  Figure out what the child isn't coping with, and fix it, THEN address the biting problem per #1.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Failure to communicate : Children who are unable to communicate often lash out like this.  If your child speaks, take the time to work on how to handle conflicts &lt;em&gt;with words&lt;/em&gt; instead of teeth.  If your child does not speak, make sure alternate communication (sign language, assisstive technology, symbol library, whatever) is both available and understood by &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt; in your child's environment.  Then continue per #1.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Serious sensory or social issue : Some children who have trouble interacting with others in normal, healthy ways, or who aren't connected enough with their social interaction to grok it will resort to things like biting because it is visceral and immediate.  There are a number of problems in this category that have very different solutions, so talk to your pediatrician or the school's special ed personnel to find out if your child might have a problem, and if so which kind and what to do about it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:59:35.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="127" CreationDate="2011-03-30T07:59:57.957" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;For my one year and a half old little boy, it has been as easy as letting him cry for sometime, with the 5 - 10 - 20 trick: He cries in bed, let him cry for 5 minutes and get him for a short hug, put back in the bed. He cries again, wait for 10 minutes, repeat. Then wait for 20 minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he is happy to go to bed and can get himself asleep alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe there is nothing wrong having the kid sleeping in your bed (except that mine is moving a lot), but I think there is nothing wrong in letting a baby cry for a while, and they will cry anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T07:59:57.957" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="156" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="163" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:02:28.843" Score="26" ViewCount="2981" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3.5 yo is starting to talk back to us in the typical futile yes/no/yes/no pattern of opposites. The other day it was hooking his straps on his car seat; I asked him to put his arms in (like we always do) and he said &quot;no, arms out.&quot; no amount of reasoned conversation could change his mind, and everything you said resulted in a stronger repetition of &quot;NO. OUT!&quot; by the fourth iteration he was in total meltdown/tantrum mode... a wild 180 degree swing from the happy sunny disposition he had been in for the previous couple hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other pairs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;here's your snack, go sit at your chair at the table and eat it.&quot; ... &quot;I go sit on soo-fah.&quot; (I don't even know where he learned &quot;sofa&quot;, we call it a &quot;couch&quot;. And we never eat anywhere near the couch, always at the table.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;ok, pick which book you want daddy to read to you.&quot; (at bed time, standard ritual.) ... &quot;no, mommy reads.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;put your coat on so we can go outside.&quot; ... &quot;no, take OFF.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now here's the rub. Several of these are just verbal... he's not following through with what he's saying, he's doing what we asked. (the eating at the table/sofa one is an exception... he did carry his snack over to the couch area.) For example, with the car seat one... as he's saying &quot;No, arms OUT!&quot; he's actively slipping the seat harness over his shoulder to put it on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The part of this that really kills me is that we've recently learned he was being bullied at day care, some of the bigger kids knew he wouldn't fight back and wouldn't tattle, so when the teachers were distracted they were bossing him around and telling him he couldn't do this or that, whatever he was doing at the time. We've started to work on teaching him to stand up for himself in these situations and I really don't want to undermine that... but he seriously works himself up into a massive meltdown with these and I really want to bring a stop to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:19:03.627" LastActivityDate="2018-05-18T12:11:46.100" Title="How do you stop a child from talking back without discouraging them from asserting themselves?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="99" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:02:40.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell him, that it hurts them like it would hurt him. Then remind him that he would not want to be bitten either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you may want to find out, when (or why) he bits his friends. Learn about his feelings and reasons. (You may not understand them but take them seriously!) Give him some hints what he might do better in that case. Just forbid something is not enough. I think you should always give some alternative behavior options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="121" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:02:40.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="158" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="209" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:03:19.373" Score="14" ViewCount="28753" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-years-old daughter still sucks her thumb while sleeping. &#xA;How can help her stopping this habit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried to give her a pacifier, but she refuses it.&#xA;She does not have this habit during the day and is also upset in the morning when she sees her nails are flaky and her thumb hurts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="41" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-16T12:10:09.480" LastActivityDate="2019-07-16T12:10:09.480" Title="How to prevent children from sucking their thumb?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|habits|thumb-sucking|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="158" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:09:42.037" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For starters, introducing a pacifier is the wrong approach -- it's another dependence, just as bad for her teeth, and worse -- a choking habit in a child with strong enough bite to sever it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try covering her thumb at night with an unpleasant-tasting but harmless substance such as hot sauce or lemon juice, or having her wear gloves/mittens to bed.  It's just a habit... changing the feel of it should (hopefully) short-circuit the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:09:42.037" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="158" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:10:16.637" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that can help is to put a thin mitten on when she goes to bed. Since she only does this in her sleep, and it makes her thumb hurt, she'll understand that this helps her thumb not to hurt when she wakes up, and should accept the mitten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Although be aware that she might be sucking her thumb during the day as well, just not when you see it. Thumbsuckers quickly get very good at hiding their thumbsucking from others :-) If this is the case it may be more difficult to get it to stop, but don't give up.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are substances that taste bad, made to stop biting your nails, etc. However I find that these tend to &quot;spread&quot; so that everything tastes bad, and you get kinda used to the taste after a while (didn't stop me from biting my nails). You can try them, but I suspect the mitten will be more efficient and less annoying for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T08:19:54.350" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:19:54.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="161" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="190" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:15:30.860" Score="16" ViewCount="8023" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son turned 2 today, and we have been considering for a long time to transition him to a bed. Specially since he already sleeps in a bed at the daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am afraid that he will not want to stay in bed once he makes the transition. What was your experience? When did you switch?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edit: I am looking for your experiences, and learn from them. As with everything related with children, every experience is different and will help forming your answer. This is not a math question. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7" LastEditorUserId="7" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T20:08:05.313" LastActivityDate="2024-03-04T15:34:20.617" Title="When should I transition a 2 year old toddler from the cot to a bed?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|bedroom|transition|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:18:25.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;He definitely won't want to stay in the bed once you make the switch... but he'll get used to is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always put a gate on his room so he can get out of bed, but not out the room, without your help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My twins are 19 months, and are making the switch this month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="124" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2024-02-22T19:17:30.660" LastActivityDate="2024-02-22T19:17:30.660" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="156" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:19:25.880" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all -- now that you know the bullying is going on it should be eliminated, period.  &lt;em&gt;Most&lt;/em&gt; 3.5yo kids don't yet have the nuance to understand the difference between standing up for oneself and being mean.  That's what grown-ups (and martial arts lessons, later on) are for.  If the day care center is letting it go on, choose another one.  That's a serious screw-up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the backtalk, it's a thing kids do to try to gain power in a situation.  I diffuse it pretty quickly with the following technique:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am fine with my son stating a &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; objection to something. For example, &quot;no, I won't eat at the table&quot; is not okay, but &quot;Can't we eat outside, it's the first nice day this week!&quot; is okay.  If he tries the former, non-specific version, I just say &quot;that's not a reason&quot; and ignore further pleas unless they are specific.  This is a building block of being able to hold his own in a discussion, not to mention a good conflict-resolution skill.  When he is specific, I'll give in (if his reason is good), offer a compromise, or explain why we can't/won't do it his way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, once I've said &quot;that's enough&quot; or &quot;end of discussion&quot;, it's over, period.  I say it once, and go on behaving as if there was no objection.  If he doesn't do as he was told, he goes straight to time-out.  I never respond to yes/no wars -- as Bugs Bunny has many times demonstrated, you can't win one of those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:19:25.880" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:22:23.910" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes,&lt;/strong&gt; twins &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; develop their own language, but it's not a given. They may, or they may not. Don't worry either way. I'm convinced that it doesn't matter at all whether the twins are identical or fraternal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm an identical twin. I never had a baby language, but then again I grew up bilingual so there were plenty of languages in the first place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-10-09T18:50:56.180" LastActivityDate="2011-10-09T18:50:56.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="165" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="168" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:22:32.070" Score="10" ViewCount="2762" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a four year old son who has slight autism. Up until now he has babbled but never used any words associated with anything. We try to encourage him to talk by talking with him a lot, and we have tried sign language, but he doesn't seem to notice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what should we do to encourage him to communicate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(p.s. he will be starting speech therapy soon which we hope to help a lot, but want something to try right away)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:11:28.350" LastActivityDate="2018-09-15T05:25:50.320" Title="How can you communicate with a child that refuses to talk?" Tags="|pre-schooler|language-development|communication|speech|autism|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="166" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:25:24.610" Score="10" ViewCount="39799" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-month baby suffers from moderate acid reflux since she was 3-month old.&#xA;Our doctor put her on prescription, but we also tried the usual solutions like keeping her propped during sleep (I use a wooden board under the mattress) or avoiding acid foods.&#xA;All this has helped, but she still sometimes wakes up at night crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there something else you have found to be useful? At what age, in your experience, reflux mostly disappears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="58" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:27:42.367" LastActivityDate="2014-07-24T03:39:14.887" Title="What are your remedies for baby acid reflux?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="28" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:26:34.877" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There doesn't seem to be any law in the UK to stop children of the &lt;em&gt;opposite&lt;/em&gt; sex sharing a room (&lt;a href=&quot;http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/repairs_and_bad_conditions/overcrowding&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;advice on overcrowding&lt;/a&gt;) - which makes sense. I can't see why the same wouldn't be true for mainland Europe. So I think we can assume that children of the &lt;em&gt;same&lt;/em&gt; sex can share a room as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With no legal reason compelling your daughters to sleep in separate rooms it becomes a personal choice. I can't say when they should stop sharing as that will be different for each set of siblings, but my 2 boys won't be separated unless I think it is affecting their sleep. Obviously as they get older the criteria may change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="118" LastEditorUserId="1058" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T13:36:54.170" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T13:36:54.170" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="165" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:30:55.340" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At this point a speech therapy is your best choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And don't worry, you are doing good in talking to him a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just be careful of one thing... Don't make him feel any less, or discouraged or don't pressure him to talk. Be very very patient with him. This isn't an easy disorder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will eventually talk, just be really patient with him and make him feel okay. If he is okay with himself he wont be discouraged. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that you should make him believe that it is okey not to speak. Just be patient, I can't tell you how important that is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other vise. Intelligent programs, reading a book, talking, games, playing guess who, playing verbal games is always a good practice. Just make talking fun. Kids to everything if it is fun and rhymes and can be made a catchy song of. If it rhymes and is fun to say / sing chances are, he will enjoy it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this could help. Generally, I think you are doing fine. Just be strong and I wish the best to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastEditorUserId="33148" LastEditDate="2018-09-15T05:25:50.320" LastActivityDate="2018-09-15T05:25:50.320" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="166" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:34:35.790" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter was similarly diagnosed (at a similar age) and the doctor recommended &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyreflux.co.uk/knowledge/questions/39/Infant+Gaviscon&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Infant Gaviscon&lt;/a&gt; (we're in the UK, although I think this is an international brand), which definitely mitigated the situation. The (very) basic theory behind Gaviscon is that it thickens the milk in the stomach, which will stop it from sloshing around so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In conjunction with significantly more winding after feeding, and more breaks with winding during feeding, the reflux was reduced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:34:35.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="166" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:36:41.183" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Acid reflux is not a joke let me tell you that. I have it too did have it as child too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are multiple things for you to watch out for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First: Food. You are doing right in watching out for that. There are tons of good lists out there that provide you with a good direction. Later on, when he grows up, make sure he follows it. Chances are that the reflux will go milder but unfortunately it will never fully disappear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when he gets older he should really pick hes food. No fast food, no sugar, no whit flour, no juices, no spices, no pepper and so on. Yes that sounds really hard, i know. But you really have to watch out for that or you end up taking medicine your whole life long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other thing you can do is avoiding milk. I know it sounds interesting and many lists say milk is okey but really it's not. Try avoiding it and see if it helps. Basically he can only drink water. :( &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do think that you should use medication as late as possible. Don't let him get used to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So eating is key. There isn't really to much else. :( Hope this could help. And good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:36:41.183" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="166" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:37:21.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some things to try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remove &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; chocolate and mint from her diet.  When I had acid problems, my doctor told me that cocoa and mint contain some component that causes the muscle that keeps the acid down in your stomach to relax.  If you already have an acid problem, these foods can exacerbate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not feeding her immediately before sleep (I know, for a baby it sucks, but our bodies do increase acid production in response to food).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Changing her diet -- some people with food sensitivities have acid problems when they consume the offending foods.  If that is the problem, and you can nail down which food is the offender, you could end the acid issue entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:37:21.980" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:37:59.653" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't separate unless there's a good reason to.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's my story, and the reasons behind it:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I spent several years in the same class as my twin, but later (as we moved to a new country) we were put in separate classes. Much later, we were again in the same class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were separated because my brother relied too much on me; he didn't make notes on what homework was required, so if I didn't write it down or remember, we were both screwed. &lt;strong&gt;By separating us, my brother learned to get by alone&lt;/strong&gt;, and so it wasn't a problem that we were in the same class again later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;But the separation had social downsides&lt;/strong&gt; because the two classes were not on speaking terms so we were isolated from each other also during breaks, and having class friends over was always difficult. The teachers knew about this class &quot;war&quot; in advance but didn't think it would matter. It did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if there is a good reason to separate, and there are no serious known downsides, then do go ahead. But consider when and how to join them again if other issues arise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, &lt;strong&gt;make sure they get opportunity to spend enough &quot;twin time&quot; together&lt;/strong&gt; away from that &quot;split-class&quot; context, like in a sports club or scouts club.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T07:04:44.647" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T07:04:44.647" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="103" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:40:31.977" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;How old is he?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a big chance that he just doesn't know the exact meaning of them, but feels that there's something special about f-words since grown-ups react funny when he says them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Key points to emphasize in such a situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's bad to use such words. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He might offend other people by using them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider actually explaining what these words mean.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:40:31.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="28" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:43:42.397" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Same-sex siblings don't &lt;strong&gt;need&lt;/strong&gt; separate rooms, at least not if they're roughly the same age. Sharing a room teaches valuable social lessons. It's more a matter of how well they get along in general, and how much space you can afford.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't put a 2-year-old in a room with a 12-year-old though, or two siblings that terrorize each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:43:42.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-03-30T08:48:38.790" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Basically you are already doing the main thing: you speak your native language, while you live in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry too much that (s)he will mix languages. First, (s)he probably will mix them anyway from time to time, especially when (s)he starts talking. And second, kids pick up language extremely easily, so if you will be consistent and talk Tagalog to your kid, (s)he eventually will be bilingual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T08:48:38.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="176" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="186" CreationDate="2011-03-30T09:03:30.007" Score="11" ViewCount="396" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, for those of us in the US, the school our children attend is determined by geography.  So, before choosing to accept a far-away job offer, or selecting a home in a new region, we need to figure out what, if any, school in this area is right for our child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being the parent of a special needs child makes this even more complicated -- and more important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get that schools can't afford the time for me to get to know a bunch of their teachers, and the speech therapist and other specialists my son would work with there, or go over how they would hypothetically implement his IEP.  I couldn't afford to fly back and forth enough times to thoroughly interview them all even if it were possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So...what's a parent to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus far, I've been reticent to consider far-away opportunities.  After two disastrous school experiences, we've found a school that has done amazing things for my son.  I don't want to risk walking him into another disaster.  I'd &lt;em&gt;like&lt;/em&gt; to consider some of these non-local offers, but only if I can be sure my son's education won't suffer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-17T12:30:04.683" LastActivityDate="2019-07-17T12:30:04.683" Title="How do you evaluate schools before a cross-country move?" Tags="|school|moving|usa|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2011-03-30T09:11:08.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't make the switch permanent. We bought beds for our twins when they were 18 months (must be a twin thing ;) ). They were over excited with the prospect of having beds. When it came to sleeping, the just wanted their old cots. Maybe it provided them some feeling of comfort of safety. We have just stored the beds for the time being. We got advice from friends that you should make the shift when your kids start climbing out of their cots them self, or when they ask for it. So the basic answer the change is up to them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am pretty sure that in the beginning they will not stay in bed, but maybe it would help making a ritual out of it by reading a bed time story for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T09:11:08.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2011-03-30T09:13:20.687" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids vary.  Some take to the bed without any real difference from how they went to sleep in the crib, and others are all &quot;oooh, freedom!&quot; and getting up every ten seconds for a cuddle or a drink or to see what you are up to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the &quot;oooh, freedom!&quot; type, here's what I do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, make sure a good, solid, consistent bedtime routine is in place.  Put on pajamas, brush teeth, get into bed, read a story, have a special quilt, you get the idea.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, once the child is in bed, the child does not get out of bed. If he/she does, pick him/her up with a quick &quot;it's bedtime honey, now you need to get some sleep&quot; and put him/her right back.  After about two times, stop saying anything, just pick him/her up and deposit back in bed.  After a couple of nights in which you don't get nearly enough sleep, the idea catches on and it works well.  Then, you can trust your child to go to sleep properly wherever you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T09:13:20.687" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="176" CreationDate="2011-03-30T09:15:18.657" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two things: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask&lt;/strong&gt; your colleagues, neighbours, or people on local forums about schools;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Go to school&lt;/strong&gt;, talk to teachers,to a director, look around inside.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T09:15:18.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="127" CreationDate="2011-03-30T09:30:51.823" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't sit there for hours!&lt;/strong&gt; That will not teach the child to fall asleep, and you're setting yourself up for thousands of wasted hours in the years to come. Instead, sit there for a while, sing a nursery song once or twice, and then explain that you are leaving the room and that you will return in a few minutes (toddlers have no idea of time but why not start teaching it?). Then really &lt;strong&gt;walk out of the room for two minutes.&lt;/strong&gt; Leave the door wide open. Don't go back in even if there's crying. Go back in, another nursery song, explain, go out again. Leave the door ajar. Stay outside for &lt;strong&gt;five minutes&lt;/strong&gt;. Repeat. Ten minutes. Repeat. Fifteen minutes. And so on. Do this every day, every week. The child can learn to sleep alone. Then close the door and start a party :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A solid bedtime routine is very important.&lt;/strong&gt; It trains the child to wind down and prepare to sleep. It's also very important to keep the routine at the same time of day, not varied by a few hours depending on what fits best in your routine. Sorry, but parents rank second at this stage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If darkness is a problem,&lt;/strong&gt; keep the door open, or ajar. We have this too, and our solution is described above. Don't close the door too early, but little by little. We also have a small nightlight, so it's not &lt;em&gt;totally&lt;/em&gt; dark (though it seems so if you're just walking in).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T09:30:51.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="181" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="182" CreationDate="2011-03-30T10:11:54.987" Score="32" ViewCount="2771" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am going to buy a PC for my kid as a birthday present, so I'm thinking how to use it educationally. Of course, an obvious choice is teaching him how to program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not asking what age should a kid be to start learning programming. I wonder what he should be able to do, in order to learn programming efficiently? What is the proper level of development for a kid to learn programming?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T17:42:24.700" LastActivityDate="2021-03-05T18:16:32.713" Title="What are some milestones a child should reach before learning programming?" Tags="|learning|programming|development|activities|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="181" CreationDate="2011-03-30T10:38:47.867" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a programmer I would propose to you the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Abstract thinking, Pragmatic Thinking, Higher problem solving. Design Patterns (Not programming in general but building. Building in sense of building, construction. Did you know that design patterns come from designing buildings and problem solving in engineering?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I would recommend starting with the famous little programming language for kids: Logo. There are actually pretty good games to get your kid started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you can Google that so I wont bother copying in those results. Your main goal is getting his attention and getting him to think like a programmer, or at least start to think like one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that you can start with applying the knowledge to algorithm and lower problem solving and object oriented programming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I would recommend using Mind Maps, since kids tend to remember shining colorful things better. &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mind_map&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mind_map&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a kid I loved automating everything. That's why I'm an automation test engineer today. It might be fun to show your kid how you can automate tasks. How you can manipulate the windows, and everything what you PC does. Also some real world interaction like OCR with a video feed perhaps. Or a basic motion tracking system with a cheap camera.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the kid would be very happy if for example he could spot if his parents are nearing his room. Or build a little LEGO robot and program a routine into him, like go get me milk. Which is difficult but get's him started and will have a goal too and a real life experience which is VERY important in the early years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See : Lego Mind Storm: &lt;a href=&quot;http://mindstorms.lego.com/en-us/Default.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://mindstorms.lego.com/en-us/Default.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2021-03-05T18:16:32.713" LastActivityDate="2021-03-05T18:16:32.713" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="181" CreationDate="2011-03-30T10:49:50.040" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe it would be easier for him to grasp the basic concepts, through some programming/educational games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of them are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://fuse.microsoft.com/project/kodu.aspx&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Kodu&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A visual programming language made specifically for creating games. Accessible for children and enjoyable for anyone.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.terrapinlogo.com/Kinderlogo.php&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Kinderlogo&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Kinderlogo is an adaptation of Logo for young children, offering Logo's stimulating environment for creative exploration, problem-solving, and discovery for K-3 students and those with special needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.legoeducation.us/store/detail.aspx?ID=1573&amp;amp;c=0&amp;amp;t=0&amp;amp;l=0&amp;amp;bhcp=1&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lego WeDo Robotics&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Students will be able to build LEGO models featuring working motors and sensors; program their models; and explore a series of cross-curricular, theme-based activities while developing their skills in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics, as well as language and literacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably through games like these, he will be much more motivated, and it will be easier for you specially if you do not have a solid programming experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="55" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T10:49:50.040" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-03-30T11:07:16.330" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;a) As soon as he can count, add and subtract;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;b) When he spends significant time outside home without parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case we started giving pocket money when our son went to the first grade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T11:07:16.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="106" CreationDate="2011-03-30T11:12:07.680" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking from my own experience, &lt;strong&gt;the earlier the better.&lt;/strong&gt; I've changed schools many times (relocation caused by parent's job) and I found the moves much easier in the early years compared to later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Kids adapt and forget easier while they're young.&lt;/strong&gt; The older kids get, the more set in their ways they are. This is especially important to consider regarding not your own son but the classmates that are going to welcome him into their group! Older kids can tease and be much meaner than younger kids. So if your son moves school in the first few grades, the other kids are more likely to accept him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Every move is a change,&lt;/strong&gt; and it can always be for the better or for the worse. If you aren't relocating but just changing school, consider a fall-back option that he could be in the new school for some months and if it's really catastrophic then move him back (caution: that can also backfire).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moving school is a big intervention. Before you decide on this, make sure it's the best solution. Sometimes it's smarter to solve the present problems than walking away from them, but that may not apply to your situation - you didn't say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for time of year, it doesn't matter much but &lt;strong&gt;summertime is best&lt;/strong&gt; because there's no mismatch between the old and new school's teaching plan for the year. At the start of the year there may be other new kids, but families relocate all year round.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T11:12:07.680" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="176" CreationDate="2011-03-30T11:18:16.663" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems you need to find and talk to someone that meets the following criteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Someone very familiar with the area you're considering moving to (current and long-time resident perhaps).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Someone who shares your values.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Someone who understands your needs and desires.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our recent move, we also needed to make some important decisions. We happen to be members of a church that has congregations world-wide, so one of our first steps was to call the leader of the local congregation. He met all 3 criteria I listed above--he has been a resident for over a decade, he obviously shared most of our values (as a member of our church), and after a brief explanation he understood what our particular needs were. He was very willing to help, and although he did not have all the answers, he was able to put us in contact with other members of the congregation that did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are a member of a church that is established in the area you are considering a move to, I would definitely recommend this approach. I should think this approach should work equally well for any social or service organizations you may be a part of (if you're not a church-goer or if your church is not established there). If you're not a member of &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; organization with a presence in this new area, consider contacting a religious/social/service institution in the area to discuss the issue. Even if you typically shy away from such due to differences in values, it's likely you can at least find &lt;em&gt;someone&lt;/em&gt; that understands, respects, and maybe even shares your values.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T11:18:16.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-03-30T11:23:23.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm multilingual too, able to turn the language switch in the brain without effort. The important part is growing up in some way surrounded by the language, even if just the parents speak it. Perhaps make a soft &quot;house rule&quot; that Portuguese is the language that is used in the home, and English is only needed outside the home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have the advantage that both parents speak the language, so you can implement that house rule automatically. Since your son is so young, he will hear it and learn it all along, even if he doesn't speak it much himself for now. But you'll be surprised: when the grandparents visit and don't speak English, he will be able to communicate with them anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Languages is the key to the world. Teach that being able to speak more than just English is a talent and an asset that will bring many benefits later on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T11:23:23.367" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="106" CreationDate="2011-03-30T11:24:28.013" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had to move between elementary and middle school. Regardless of whether we had moved, I would have been going to a new school anyway. It was a far cry from a &lt;em&gt;seamless transition&lt;/em&gt;, although I'm not sure things would have been significantly better if we hadn't have moved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is close to a transition (from elementary school to middle school or from middle school to high school), then I would definitely make the move during that transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T11:24:28.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="189" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T11:48:05.723" Score="4" ViewCount="501" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been brought up in a multi-lingual environment and I consider it essential to raise my children the same way. I have done so by buying English, German, Dutch and French books. My idea is that if they are surrounded by enough reading material, the learning of multiple languages will come naturally. I have no proof for this assumption and it is my gut feeling. &#xA;We now have some really nice german children books bought on the German amazon, although we both don't speak german. &#xA;Now that they start watching tv, I was looking for children shows on Youtube. It appeared to be more difficult then with books. &#xA;There is of course teletubbies or bumba on youtube. Since there are people from multiple cultural backgrouds here, I was thinking of posing the question here to suggest nice children episodes here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:19:51.927" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:19:51.927" Title="What television shows could I show my toddlers to encourage multilingual learning?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|television|bilingual|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2011-03-30T11:50:53.147" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was once told keep the kids in the crib until they start trying to get out. That is kind of what we did. We switched our daughter to a bed at about 2.5 years and the main reason we did that is because we were preparing for her to share a room with her little sister and her sister needed the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter took right to it. She rarely ever gets out of bed at night and if she does, we just walk her back to her room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this really depends on the temperament of your child. My daughter is very laid back and no one was really surprised about how she took to sleeping in a bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="134" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T11:50:53.147" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="189" CreationDate="2011-03-30T12:05:31.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe Dora the Explorer speaks Spanish as well as English in most of the episodes, repeating each thing she says in both languages. I don't know about my 4-year-old, but it has certainly taught me a phrase or two!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2803" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T12:05:31.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="189" CreationDate="2011-03-30T12:18:35.890" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry but I don't think that just buying foreign books on Amazon is going to help a lot. It's just as difficult for a kid to simply pick up book in a foreign language and make sense of it as it is for an adult. As the parent, how are you going to support that learning when you yourself don't speak that language?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same goes for other medias like YouTube or DVDs, though perhaps to a lesser degree. I believe that material like comics such as Donald Duck, or tv shows such as Sesame Street and Muppet Show, would be your best choice because these things are very visual and therefore work well without understanding the language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But studies suggest (see references below) that children don't learn well on their own from a screen. What's lacking is the interaction and the actual presence of a real &lt;em&gt;human&lt;/em&gt; -- and for language learning, it must be a native speaker. I imagine that when the effect of live human interaction is so profound compared to video, then books must really suck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; work for language learning is real-world interaction -- the summer is coming, so plan a camping vacation in your neighboring countries; that will provide lots of opportunity to play with other kids that speak a different language. Or find some kind of regular multinational community gathering in your neighborhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;References:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This language researcher provides evidence that watching video has limited learning effect and that effective learning requires &lt;em&gt;live humans&lt;/em&gt; (as opposed to audio or video recordings): &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html&quot;&gt;video presentation&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://culturalneuroscience.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/baby-brain-on-language-ted-talk-by-patricia-kuhl/&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-27T15:32:56.600" LastActivityDate="2011-07-27T15:32:56.600" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2011-03-30T12:52:37.937" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We kept the first one in the crib until she could climb out (around age 3 when her little brother came).  Her little brother hasn't yet climbed out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, the kids will get out of bed anyway and you'll have that whole set of battles to overcome regardless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would just wait until either they start climbing out of the crib (because of the danger) or if they start to express interest in a &quot;big bed&quot;.  We pushed it a little too hard with the first child because we needed the crib and she started coming in our bed and not staying in her toddler bed.  You may need to gradual ease them into the toddler bed (i.e. if they get out of the toddler bed, they go back in the crib), so keep the crib around a few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T12:52:37.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="194" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="938" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:00:10.533" Score="14" ViewCount="3561" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 2 daughters - a 4 year old and a 1 year old.  Our 4 year old daughter will not leave our 1 year old daughter alone.  It is nothing malicious or intentionally mean, but it feels like we should be protecting the younger one.  I actually believe the older one is doing it because she loves the younger one so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Overwhelming the 1 year old with toys.  The older one will bring the younger one a toy.  The younger one starts playing with it, and 5 seconds later the older one will take the toy away and give a her a new toy to play with.  This goes on until we tell the older one that it was nice she gave her sister a toy, but she should just let her play with one toy.  The older one is doing it to be nice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Hugging for too long.  The older one loves to give the younger one hugs, and the younger one is fine with a quick hug, but the older one wants to hug for 5 seconds or more.  After a 1-2 seconds the younger one starts screaming because she wants to go play.  The older one is hugging her because she loves her, but we can't get it through her head to do a light, quick hug and then let her go.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Getting in her face.  When the older one wants to talk to the younger one, she will get 2 inches from her face.  She wants to put her hands on her cheeks and talk to her.  The younger one hates it (who enjoys having someone talk to you a couple inches away).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few other things like this, and these things happen many times a day.  I honestly believe her intentions are good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We always tell the older one that it is sweet that she loves her sister so much, but that she needs to give her some space.  This has been going on for a few months, and I'm not sure we are going about it the right way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried gently demonstrating to the older one how hugging for too long or constantly replacing toys is not fun for the receiver (the 4 year old hates it when someone does it to her, but she just can't associate it with her sister).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't want to get after the older one all day long (like watching a sporting event when the refs blow the whistle every few seconds - just let them play!), but at the same time it doesn't feel fair to the younger one - or maybe that's just part of being a younger sibling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have ideas of things to tell our older daughter or ways to teach her to give her sister some space?  Or should we just leave them alone and let the younger one learn to fend for herself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T01:25:37.217" Title="What are some ways to get an older sibling to give a younger sibling a little space?" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="156" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:15:00.143" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another thing you can do is stop whatever you're doing.  For example, with the seat belt: Immediately switch to &quot;then get out of the car, we're staying home.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, do you and your spouse do the &quot;faux no&quot; thing?  e.g., he or she asks you to do something, you say &quot;no&quot; and do it anyway?  I used to do that &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt;, but had to stop because it was confusing the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T13:15:00.143" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="49" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:16:53.453" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is probably different between children, but I will tell you our experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before we had our first child, we thought parents who taught their kids &quot;sign language&quot; was weird.  We weren't planning on teaching our kids how to sign.  When our first child was one year old, we would take her to the library and she would grab some board-books - the ones she grabbed we would check out and bring home.  One of the books we brought home was a book for babies of babies doing signs.  We didn't even teach them to her, she looked at the book on her own, but to our surprise, she starting doing the signs for some of the items in the book!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started to realize that she was able to communicate using the signs and it reduced her frustration level of not being able to communicate with us.  We taught her a few more signs for some common things/activities.  We didn't really follow any books, we kind of let her make up her own signs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time she was 2 years old, she signed for a lot of things and was able to communicate pretty well.  She hardly ever tried to talk using her words.  She knew a few words, and we would teach her the verbal word along with the signs, but she just wasn't interested in talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of a sudden, maybe around 25-26 months, she started talking in full sentences.  It was pretty much in the course of 2 weeks, she went from signing all the time to speaking in full sentences and not signing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess the point is, it is probably different for each child.  I think the signs helped immensely in the communication barrier with our child early on.  I can't help but wonder if she would have been talking earlier if she hadn't signed, but by the time she did talk she was talking very well.  We our second child just turned 1 year old, and we are introducing her to some basic signs, but we aren't going to push it on her.  We'll see what happens!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit - Book information&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since someone was interested in which book we got from the library, I thought I would post the information here.  These are not affiliate links so I don't get any credit, but just in case you are afraid to click links I will include the ISBNs so you can look the books up yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are all written by Linda P. Acredolo.  She also has some good books for adults on child language and sign language for their babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0072B0PXM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;My First Baby Signs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;ISBN-10: 006009074X&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0072B0QTK&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Signs for Animals&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;ISBN-10: 0060090758&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B008KU73BG&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Signs for Mealtime&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;ISBN-10: 0060090731&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0060090766&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Signs for Bedtime&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;ISBN-10: 0060090766&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be more but those are the four that we used for all three of our children.  They aren't the flashiest books, but like I mentioned - our kids just picked up on the signs from looking at the books by themselves - we didn't teach them - so they really work.  Sorry if this sounds like an advertisement for the books - I'm not affiliated/associated in any way - they just worked really well for us and the kids liked them a lot.  See if your local library carries them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastEditorUserId="137" LastEditDate="2014-10-21T14:45:45.480" LastActivityDate="2014-10-21T14:45:45.480" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="197" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3064" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:18:37.537" Score="37" ViewCount="4454" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many people choose to co-sleep with their children because of supposed psychological and sleep quality reasons. Are there any scientific studies or other concrete evidence to back them up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T20:47:46.217" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:08:58.740" Title="Is there any scientific evidence in favor of co-sleeping with children?" Tags="|sleep|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="194" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:21:29.330" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a possibility that the older one is doing these things because she knows that she'll get attention (from you) for them?  If she's otherwise well-behaved, then there might be some other non-obvious motive.  Not that she's scheming -- she probably doesn't even know what it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think that the 1 year old is quite at the point where she can fend for herself from her big sister yet either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T13:21:29.330" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="199" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:52:11.263" Score="25" ViewCount="20380" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three year old is well on her way to being potty trained. She rarely has any accidents, , at least during the day. My wife and I put her in pull ups to sleep at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, whats the best way to transition her out of the pull ups and have her fully potty trained?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="134" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T17:49:56.553" LastActivityDate="2013-03-07T03:13:37.053" Title="How do you potty train for overnight?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|potty-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="200" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:52:21.623" Score="10" ViewCount="711" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ever since bumping on Dr. Sears' &quot;Baby Book&quot; I've become interested in attachement parenting and found a lot of resources on the internet. But I'm wondering how widespread this kind of parenting actually is. I read somewhere also that it's kind of &quot;fashionable&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course one thing is theory and another is practice and there must be many different levels of application of the attachement parenting philosophy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is: is there some statistics or estimate of how many or what percentage of parents claim or can be viewed as applying attachment parenting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="115" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-01-06T13:15:52.097" LastActivityDate="2019-01-06T13:15:52.097" Title="How widespread is attachment parenting?" Tags="|development|research|attachment|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="201" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="235" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:57:16.803" Score="27" ViewCount="19633" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 12 year old son who if completely left up to his own devices, will spend almost all of his free time doing one of two things, playing casual computer games, and watching TV. I would like to encourage him to do stuff that involves more thinking, at the very least playing games that make you think more, like Starcraft, or even get into more educational activities. Any ideas? Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T20:36:33.830" LastActivityDate="2017-11-25T08:58:32.920" Title="What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to enjoy productive activities?" Tags="|pre-teen|television|video-games|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="197" CreationDate="2011-03-30T13:57:34.443" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know about scientific studies, although I'm sure there are, but for us the main reasons is that we like to be all in the same big bed and in the beginning this enables us to respond to our child's needs without waking completely and getting up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I remember correctly for newborns scientific studies have shown that for non-smoking and non-alcoholic parents, co-sleeping reduces the likelihood of SIDS (Suddent Infant Death Syndrome).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="115" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T13:57:34.443" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="203" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="210" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:00:37.830" Score="28" ViewCount="7292" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids (grades 2 and 4) are very bright and very active. The traditional school setting does not seem to be working for them. This is evident by their perpetual visits to the principal's office for disrupting the class and comments from the teacher about them not paying attention. After speaking with the teacher about what they are doing in class, I think they are bored. They don't like school. I don't want school to be a long, hard road for them. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-17T12:28:42.530" LastActivityDate="2019-07-17T12:28:42.530" Title="What can be done to help bright children stuck in a boring school?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|middle-childhood|gifted|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="204" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="218" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:04:38.450" Score="10" ViewCount="1695" Body="&lt;p&gt;My older kids (9 and 12) can be very me-centric. For instance, we recently won a small amount of money from a contest, my now 12 year old immediately suggested that we spend the extra money on his birthday. Anytime he thinks he can convince anyone to spend money on him, he'll do it. Whether it be friends, grandma, us, or his siblings, he somehow manages to try and convince all of them to spend money on him. What can I do to dissuade this habit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T18:06:31.957" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T18:06:31.957" Title="How can I teach my kids to be less egocentric?" Tags="|money|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="205" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:05:11.023" Score="7" ViewCount="204" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is time for me to start thinking about transitioning my twin boys from their infant car seats to larger ones.  I am trying to do research on the different brands of carseats, their safety information, size requirements, and so on.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where are the best places to find quality information and reviews on carseats?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&#xA;Just wanted to say that I did all my research, chose a carseat, went to the store to buy it, and ended up buying a completely different one.  :)  Still a good one but not what I had planned to get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="88" LastEditDate="2011-04-05T01:35:44.210" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T10:56:48.693" Title="What are some good resources for finding quality information about carseats?" Tags="|toddler|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="197" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:07:05.687" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I studied psychology and let me tell you of a story. A research that was done in later years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a compare of an African tribe and an American family of sleep orders. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course as with everything in psychology this is really a far fetch thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study was about this: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The African mothers carry there children around in a bag around there body until they are 3. They sleep with the child, they work with the child, they are constantly with the child. When they sleep the child hears the heart beat of the mother constantly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then when they turn three they put them down, and never ever take them up again. The child however is so self confident and so self aware that it has no problem at all sleeping alone and with being alone as he has the most reassuring though that his mother will always be there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now... psychology tells us many things...And this study is of course a bit extreme since you can't compare an African tribe to an American family...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can sleep with your child. But not for to long. Why? Because he needs to know that there is a place of his own. But than again, how old is the child? Mostly parents are just lazy. They don't want to wake up, walk to the child's room and nurse him there. It's inconvenient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When sleeping with a child you first develop confidence in him that you are around. But be careful not to over do it. Because children get used to stuff really quickly. And then you end up having an unhealthy relationship with him. And that he can't do anything on his own, because he needs his parents to be with him. And he can't sleep well because his system depends on the nearness of his parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So.. :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summary is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can of course co-sleep. Studies show that it helps until a certain amount of time. And you can better watch your child breathing normally too, like the previous answer stated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T14:07:05.687" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="207" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="217" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:07:30.273" Score="28" ViewCount="51356" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know about older children, but toddlers often get more agitated as they get more tired and by the time they are in bed it can take a while before they actually sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I often read that taking a bath before bedtime helps toddlers to calm down, but this doesn't work with our child (actually it's counterproductive). Another standard technique is reading a book, but he likes it so much that once we finish one he just want another one and another, ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what other ways do you suggest for calming down a toddler before bedtime?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="115" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T18:12:26.057" LastActivityDate="2017-08-10T17:47:43.420" Title="How to calm a toddler before bedtime?" Tags="|sleep|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="199" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:09:16.200" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kids were &quot;night trained&quot; by the time they were about 4. If you can figure out when they are having their accidents, it makes it easier to help them. Here are my recommendations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, get a plastic sheet; there are going to be accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, don't use pull-ups. Help her feel like a big girl so the accidents matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, make the last drink at dinnertime. Be sure they go to the bathroom before bed. And get them to use the toilet before you go to bed and first thing as soon as you get up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T14:09:16.200" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="158" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:11:13.500" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may sound weird but another option is tape.  A friend of mine had the same problem when she was about that age and at night before bed her mother would put duct tape over her thumb to keep her from sucking it.  It took a while but eventually it worked.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just for clarity:  Duct tape was used but it was put on in such a way that the child was able to easily take it off in the morning.  The thumb was first wrapped in gauze so that only the tape on the bottom of the strip was actually on her skin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="88" LastEditDate="2011-04-13T20:20:45.880" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T20:20:45.880" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="203" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:14:52.590" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hah this is a really good and old question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me tell you something else first... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School for a bright kid is not about teaching. And not about learning because if he is as bright and vivid as you say he will learn everything himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A school for a child like him, is about learning the hard way in life unfortunately. It is about learning discipline. It is about learning to pay attention even if you are bored as hell, because you wont get by in life without a good concentration skill..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course they are bored. School is boring. And flat. And destructive. What you as parent can do is... assure your kid that it will get better. Assure him that he is smart. Don't pressure him to bring home good grades. Just tell him to learn how to pay attention. Make a game out of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him if he pays attention, let him map how the teacher walks in the class. What words he / she uses. Create a challenge for him. Create a quest for knowledge for him that he finds interesting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BUT!! Make sure he studies never the less. Then he must be creative at home. He has to utilize his skills other ways. Show him piano. Show him interesting stuff like physics. Show him the world and he will like it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now... You could switch school, you could get a personal teacher and so on and so forth. That depends on how much you have to spend on school. But if not, then do the above and he should be fine, although he will always rebel a bit. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As per Lennart Regebro's comment i'd like to add this link: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/human-relations/56224.html&quot;&gt;http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/human-relations/56224.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's an article about home schooling vs real schools. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never said that doing a good homeschooling is bad for a child. But it depends on the parents Time, Money, and Resourcefulness if he can afford it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I empathize that if you can then YES you should switch to a school more challenging or homeschooling or personal teacher. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastEditorUserId="107" LastEditDate="2011-04-01T10:58:11.630" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T10:58:11.630" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="165" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:15:48.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in a similar position, my parents would say that I would point and grunt at things, and they'd get it for me. What they did was to make me ask for something if I wanted it. If I wanted milk, they would make me ask for it, if I only asked for something to drink, they'd get me water. After a bit of time at this, it should encourage them to talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T14:15:48.737" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="212" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2248" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:23:46.623" Score="11" ViewCount="4867" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son picks his nose and, yes, eats it. How can I get this to stop? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-26T21:36:19.263" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T13:52:57.860" Title="How do I get my child to stop picking his nose?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|habits|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="205" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:24:24.067" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask your national automobile club.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think in USA there's something called AAA. In Europe there are national organizations that cooperate. They also do scientific testing and crash testing with car seats, and they share these findings. I know that the results published in Denmark and Austria are trustworthy and I expect any such organization to be able to give you a recommendation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T14:24:24.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="205" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:27:18.663" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of good government (U.S.) sites:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safercar.gov/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.safercar.gov/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhtsa.gov/Laws+&amp;amp;+Regulations/Child+Passenger+Safety&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhtsa.gov/Laws+&amp;amp;+Regulations/Child+Passenger+Safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some retailers have more user-friendly guides:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies 'R' Us:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=2964251&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=2964251&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Target:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.target.com/Car-Seat-Selector-Seats-Baby/b/ref=sc_iw_r_2_0_1041910?node=2380019011&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.target.com/Car-Seat-Selector-Seats-Baby/b/ref=sc_iw_r_2_0_1041910?node=2380019011&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those are the sites I have used before purchasing carseats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-06T12:26:58.913" LastActivityDate="2011-09-06T12:26:58.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="215" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="251" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:27:29.243" Score="10" ViewCount="1265" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids (7&amp;amp;9) are starting to ask for their own cellphone. Right now, they don't need one. When is a good time for a first phone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T18:27:50.840" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T16:00:04.740" Title="How old should a child be before getting their first cell phone?" Tags="|gadgets|maturity|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="215" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:37:21.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our own thoughts regarding this: when our son is old enough to go to and from school on his own, at which point we'd want him to have one. We've tentatively put this at 12 (but we've reserved the right to push that out further :). He is 8 at the moment and has been asking for a cellphone for about a year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="139" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T14:37:21.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:37:52.273" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;A bath worked really well for our toddlers (which didn't seem to for yours), but I think the bigger picture was &lt;strong&gt;a routine&lt;/strong&gt;.  Our first daughter was very wild towards bedtime until we started making a routine and sticking to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We followed the same steps every night at bedtime and after a couple of weeks when we started the routine each night, she would start to calm down.  We tried to start the routine at the same time every night as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also tried to get her to be physically active about an hour before we started the routine to wear her out a little bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is the obvious one of not giving them sugar too close to bedtime, or any food too close to bedtime for that matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She still had her wild moments every once in a while, but having a structured, consistent routine helped us out immensely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T14:37:52.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="204" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:40:18.417" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being altruistic takes practice. Part of that practice is being able to put yourself in another person's place and imagine experiencing what they are feeling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started encouraging this with our kids by giving them things to share. Here are some examples of things we say to our kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Here's one cookie for you, and this one is for YOU to share with your brother&quot; - they are taking responsibility for the sharing. Then the follow-up - &quot;How did your brother feel when you gave him the cookie?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;We need to buy party favours for your friends. You have $X per person. What do you think they would like?&quot; - Then at party, THEY give out the favours to their friends and thank them for coming.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Here is your allowance. Some is for you to spend now. Some is for you to save. Some is for you to help others.&quot; Start with equal portions. Discuss charities/organizations they might like to support. Then be sure they get to see the effect of their generosity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Insist on manners first. Show them how to be a good host. Comment on people who are good hosts by pointing out their generosity and how it made you feel. Sometimes point out the opposite, but only occasionally. Eventually they will catch on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember: tangible rewards for altruism decrease the likelihood that it will happen again. The reward is just feeling good. Revel in it and help your kids revel in it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, older kids might be trying out humor. In this instance, even if they weren't, I'd laugh off the birthday comment and refocus on a more equitable/realistc purpose for the money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T14:40:18.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="215" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:59:26.117" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My theory is, when a kid needs it, they will get one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does needing a cell phone entail? They must be in some kind of a situation that requires it. This can include driving, frequent after school activities, school projects, etc. But if they pretty much just go to school and family activities, then there isn't as much of a need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T14:59:26.117" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="220" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T14:59:32.163" Score="25" ViewCount="24877" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your grownup children still live at home, should they share cost of living in the common household? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T18:30:14.223" LastActivityDate="2018-01-10T16:59:38.173" Title="Should adults pay rent if they live in their parents' home?" Tags="|money|adult-child|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="221" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:03:01.177" Score="11" ViewCount="1637" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently met a guy, age 40, still living with his parents. In the gossip circuit this was considered inappropriate. But is it really? And if so, when does sharing a household with your grownup offspring becomes awkward?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T18:30:49.870" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T17:48:27.960" Title="When do you encourage your children to move out?" Tags="|adult-child|independence|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:03:05.623" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wrote an &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/127/how-can-i-get-my-12-month-baby-to-sleep-in-her-bed/180#180&quot;&gt;answer to a similar question&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have a solid bedtime routine&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;put the kid to bed and say good night, then leave the room. Repeat as needed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helped &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; much to accept that my son doesn't fall asleep right away. When I put him to bed, there's not total darkness, and I tell him it's okay to not sleep yet but he must relax and wind down. He can sit for as long as he wants, but he must not yell. Over time, he relaxes and it's no longer a matter of hours until he sleeps. But it still takes 30-45 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, know that routines are very important. Always follow the exact same steps, and start at the same time every day. Kids are almost autistic in this regard; a solid routine helps enormously!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T15:03:05.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:10:31.060" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a parent of twins who actually like going to sleep, I have no active experience with this problem. Friends of ours used the what they called clock method. They would put their kid to bed and watched the clock. They did not give attention to their child in the first 17 minutes. Only after 17 minutes they would calm their kid.  Apparently this procedure was quite uncomfortable, but did work. I guess it is like setting the standards. They really have nice kid now, so it might work. But I guess that you should be able to distinguish between &quot;a cry for help&quot; or &quot;a cry for attention&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T15:10:31.060" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:18:53.393" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;LEGO! There never was any cooler toy :-)&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It comes in so many varieties that there's something for him regardless if he fancies technics, cartoon robots, pirates, movie heroes, whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, if your son insists on computer interaction, then go with LEGO Mindstorm (which lets him build a machine that must be programmed on the computer before it will run).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could limit his TV/computer use to only a set time every day. Does he have his own tv in his room? Remove it but let him watch tv in the living room. He should not sit in his room all day to goof off, but if you know he's doing creative work (like LEGO) that would be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Incidentally, my 2yo son received some Lego Duplo (jumbo blocks) and we often play together - I may be 35 years older, but it's still fun!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-01T19:51:32.760" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T19:51:32.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:19:55.623" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does he have any sports interests?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could you suggest soccer, or baseball, or sailing, or chess, or scouting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T15:19:55.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="215" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:24:00.690" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In 2007 Belgian pediatricians seeked media attention to state that children younger then 16 should not have a cellphone. Here is a description in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gezondheid.be/index.cfm?fuseaction=art&amp;amp;art_id=4568&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dutch&lt;/a&gt; Brief translation:&#xA;Belgian doctors would like to forbid cellphone use by children younger then 16. Although there is no scientific sound proof, they still deemed a warning appropriate. Apparently some study showed an increase in brain temperature in kids. I did a quick google search and found an english page on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://chetday.com/cellphonewarning.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;matter&lt;/a&gt;.&#xA;When I searched &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21299039&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pubmed&lt;/a&gt; I did not find conclusive evidence against cellphone use. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T15:24:00.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="212" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:36:00.837" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is indeed socially unacceptable to do that in public. I would just tell him that it feels really good to pick your nose and that he should enjoy it, but that it should be done out of sight &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorDisplayName="user35" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T17:19:53.727" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:19:53.727" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="215" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:38:14.487" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;How old&quot; can't be said in a numerical answer, but rather in terms of maturity. Above all though, if there's no real &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; for a phone, the child shouldn't have one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents must decide case-by-case, depending on how they thnk the kids will use the newfangled technology. &lt;strong&gt;Is the child mature enough to use it in time of need, and not just to gossip with peers?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To minimize cost and bad behaviour, make sure the phone can call and send texts, and nothing else! (At the risk of being teased for only having a stone-age phone.) Cameras, games, etc. are dangerous distractions to young minds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... and remember, we all grew up without cell phones and we managed fine anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T15:38:14.487" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="51" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:39:55.770" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kids push boundaries, alot! My husband and I have tried everything for punishment and have settled on this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;bad behavior = corner...immediately&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simple rules and simple fast consequences help us be &lt;strong&gt;consistent&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It &lt;strong&gt;starts with 1 min and increases&lt;/strong&gt; by another minute if: they refuse, they don't stand still, they look around, they talk, they anything. If another child talks to them or ridicules them for getting time, they get the same as soon as the first person is done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is quick. It only takes once or twice spending 10mins when it could have been 1min before they comply. And, sometimes I give myself time-outs too. I'm not perfect and it models that the rules apply to everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The hard part is determining what bad behavior will be punished.&lt;/strong&gt; For us, it is anything they know they aren't supposed to do. This relates to the other posts about the escalating scale. As soon as they know, there are no more warnings. For example, when they are told not to touch something, and they do - corner. Hit someone in anger - corner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Equally important is what happens afterwards&lt;/strong&gt;. &quot;Why did you get a time-out?&quot; Kids are smart. If they can't answer, more time in the corner to think about it can help. This usually isn't necessary and we try to give prompts by asking leading questions about what was happening, how the situation evolved. Once the transgression is understood, the person has to come up with a way to make it better: try to mend the relationship by apologizing and fixing anything that was maliciously broken, making more cookies because they ate their brother's, that sort of thing. We really try to &lt;strong&gt;use logical consequences and avoid punishment&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T15:39:55.770" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="231" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:46:32.700" Score="15" ViewCount="1167" Body="&lt;p&gt;What factors do you consider when deciding how much to pay a babysitter per hour?  The time of day, meals, duration, travel, etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="79" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-11-05T13:06:53.260" LastActivityDate="2023-07-16T09:26:11.397" Title="What factors should you consider when deciding how much to pay a babysitter?" Tags="|money|babysitting|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2011-03-30T15:53:29.863" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with all things, &quot;it depends.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that if the child is an adult then they should be paying rent unless there's a good reason not to.  (e.g. In college or home on winter/summer breaks, studying for bar exams or similar professional credentials, searching for job, destitute, separating from spouse, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also heard of parents doing this and saving all that money to give back to the child in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-07T12:58:55.973" LastActivityDate="2017-04-07T12:58:55.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:03:30.470" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Books can be one of the best forms of entertainment and learning. Based on your comments, though, it's obvious your son does not have an innate interest in books. Forcing him to read something he thinks is boring will definitely not help anything, but if you can find something that is in line his interests, it's more likely to be a positive experience. If he still has a hard time, maybe set some time aside and read out loud together. One of my fondest memories as a child was sitting on the couch with my dad one summer and each night reading a chapter from our book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T16:03:30.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:07:42.323" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel that all adults living in the household need to actively contribute to the maintenance of the household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does not necessarily need to be financial, although that is the simplest and most obvious.  It could instead include things like taking on more of the cleaning, cooking, and general household maintenance.  It may include driving elderly family members around and running regular errands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest key is communication, sit down with them and discuss their situation and come up with a plan that is fair to all involved.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the cases where there is a large amount of tension between parties consider bringing in a third party to help come up with the plan.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that eventually the plan would need to be revised as the family situation changes, the adult child's financial state changes, and/or things begin to break down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T16:07:42.323" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:11:27.077" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask him to write you a list of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;things that he likes doing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;things he would like to do someday&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;things he has seen on television that he would like to learn more about&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;things he would like to do with you alone&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;things he would like to do with his other parent and/or siblings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then see what you can do to help get him the information, tools, and time to do these things.  He is your best source of what will interest him you just need to figure out how to drag the information from him. Maybe take him out to dinner, just the two of you, and see where the conversation leads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T16:11:27.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:24:56.363" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two possible extremes here--demanding rent as soon as they turn 18 years old, or allowing them to stay for free indefinitely regardless of their social, educational, or vocational status. I assume most of us will agree that the best answer is somewhere between these extremes, but determining &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; where isn't easy. And because family and individual situations are different, there is no &quot;best solution&quot; that is best in all cases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as staying at home is not preventing the child from progressing socially, educationally, and/or vocationally, I see no problem with them staying for free. If they just graduated and got a new job or just started going to school, staying at home (for free) can be a great way for them to save up for future financial independence. On the other hand, if they're not taking advantage of that opportunity to save and prepare, staying at home for free is a hindrance to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there is not a set age or social status that defines when a child should be required to pay rent (or even be allowed to stay at home any more). Make sure your child know what you expect of them in terms of their financial independence, and make sure you understand their expectations as well. Set some goals and guidelines and then determine how strict you will need to be with those guidelines. As others have mentioned, a lot of this comes down to communication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T16:24:56.363" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:30:41.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I already mentioned reading together, but really doing anything together as a family should be helpful. Families today are so busy that this rarely happens. The family activity doesn't need to be structured or even necessarily constructive--they can be, but unstructured &quot;fun&quot; activities can be just as enriching. Shooting hoops together or doing a service project together or (since you mentioned he just got into scouting) going camping together as a family are some things that come to mind. Anything you do together will help you learn more about your son, help your son learn more about you, and help you discover what interests he has. You will then be in a better position to suggest activities that will replace his TV/computer time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T16:30:41.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="238" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="267" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:35:25.797" Score="28" ViewCount="101884" Body="&lt;p&gt;When should I stop bathing my son and daughter together? What signs can I watch for that would indicate that they should be separate? Also, what are the average ages in the US and other countries and cultures?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25" LastEditorUserId="25" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T16:12:57.533" LastActivityDate="2019-06-20T17:49:29.667" Title="At what age should opposite-sex siblings stop bathing together?" Tags="|age-appropriate|toddler|siblings|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="181" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:36:55.837" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This link has been on my todo list for a while. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.qimo4kids.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.qimo4kids.com/&lt;/a&gt; You might find some interesting resources there.&#xA;But to answer the question, I think that it is difficult to answer this as an adult. Our upbringing, which includes our programming learning process, differs completely. My daughters of two are understanding things I did not when I was two. Then there was gps. My father did things with computers, but on punchcards. Casette recorders are objects from the past. I am pretty sure that programming as we know it today, will not be the programming done by my daughters if they take the same profession as me. &#xA;So my perpective is to provide my children with a computer environment that fits their. I have not checked it yet, but I guess gimo will do. I guess the programming learning progress will just follow. That is if they have interest in the matter. Could be that they prefer gardening in the end. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user35" LastEditorDisplayName="user35" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T08:23:59.653" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T08:23:59.653" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="231" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:45:00.183" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the babysitter does it routinely, as a job, I would ask them first what their rate was. From there you can possibly negotiate if you feel there is room for it - your situation is less demanding than the norm may be, or there is some other perk for the sitter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may encounter sitters like I have though - they do it routinely, but have no fixed rate. They let the parent set the rate and (I would hope) begin negotiating if they feel they are being lowballed. In that case you're going to need to ask around some to get a ballpark rate. When making an offer based on rates you've heard from other parents, make sure to consider any differences between the situations, such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Number of children being watched&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Distance the sitter must travel&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Time of day / Day of week (School night vs weekend, for instance)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Obviously, number of hours. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Perks you can offer, such as a meal or transportation to and from your house.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whether they even need to interact with the child - sitting may only be needed after bedtime.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastEditorUserId="44" LastEditDate="2011-03-30T17:49:28.460" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:49:28.460" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="242" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="272" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:54:55.353" Score="11" ViewCount="30894" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once our girls figured out how to kick their blanket loose so they were no longer swaddled, while they were sleeping, we were told they shouldn't sleep with a blanket anymore because the blanket can be a choking/suffocation hazard.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in a colder region, so during the winter, we keep the thermostat turned up pretty high so that they stay warm in their crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it is okay to start covering your baby with a blanket when you put them to bed?  Are there some good guidelines?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-19T01:05:29.143" LastActivityDate="2016-05-07T15:19:46.097" Title="When can I cover my baby with a blanket in her crib?" Tags="|sleep|crib|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2011-03-30T16:59:22.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the best answers have already been given--a consistent bedtime routine that includes a bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the bath doesn't help in your case, I would add that right after our bath we typically do a rub-down with lotion before putting on the pajamas. Something about the skin contact, the massaging, the softness of the lotion, and the scent &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; helps calm our toddler down, even after a rowdy, splashy bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T16:59:22.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="244" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="247" CreationDate="2011-03-30T17:03:00.137" Score="13" ViewCount="1251" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are some great educational-type games for smart phones.  Our daughter was able to navigate my iPhone pretty early on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She seems to learn a lot from the games she is playing - letter sounds, colors, etc.  She would also play it all day if we would let her - she asks to play a lot even though we limit her time on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it okay to let kids play education games (or even non-educational games on occasion)?  There seems to be some advantages, but I don't want to get her hooked on technology at too young of an age (I don't want to stifle creativity).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are your thoughts on when is a good age to let kids play educational games on a smartphone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:16:26.257" Title="Should I let my 3 year old play educational games on my iPhone?" Tags="|video-games|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="242" CreationDate="2011-03-30T17:07:36.983" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you to look into baby sleeping bags. I think we have one of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bambinomerino.com/&quot;&gt;those&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We really think they are great. I think they are safe too.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We have few for both colder and warmer nights.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="132" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:07:36.983" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="244" CreationDate="2011-03-30T17:14:04.590" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Absolutely let your kids play with your tech gadgets! I would suggest that you start the way you plan to continue. In my experience, it's hard to get kids to play educational gamesafter they have been exposed to other games that might be more fun. For example, after my kids were exposed to Plants vs. Zombies, Word Magic, Sight Words, and Math Drills lost their appeal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, everything needs to be done in moderation. The games can be a great currency to get children to do less engaging things, like laundry!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:14:04.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="244" CreationDate="2011-03-30T17:16:26.257" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Smartphones are part of the environment these days, and just like lacking basic computer skills now can be a handicap to many careers lacking familiarity with operating touchscreen devices could easily be a future handicap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I allow and even occasionally encourage my 4 year old to play games on my phone. We're in the range of brief daily usage to a couple times a week depending on circumstances. It's a good way to occupy him at &quot;boring&quot; times such as waiting rooms, and I feel even the purely entertainment uses (Angry Birds is a popular one for us) are teaching hand-eye coordination, familiarity with modern technology and perhaps even some basic physics -- though that may be a slight stretch. :) We were probably around age 3 when we began letting him use the phone, though it had to be far more closely supervised at that stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there are good kid-focused devices on the market to accomplish similar goals. We've found the LeapFrog Explorer to be a big hit, and all the games have been fairly educational.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:16:26.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="212" CreationDate="2011-03-30T17:27:33.563" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have 3 options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain to him, why he shouldn't do it. Try to keep it at a low level, but make him understand that it's like everybody is picking his nose.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could simply say he's not allowed, with a consequence if he's caught doing it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could try to encourage him to stop, and let him get a price, if he doesn't pick his nose for several weeks. That should be enough to has his habit broken.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to say which of the 3 is most effective, it depends a lot on you and your son. At his age, I would myself go for the last one. Encouraging a behavior can be quite effective, and it wont be something you'll have to fight over if he's caught doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user75" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:27:33.563" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="127" CreationDate="2011-03-30T17:46:35.387" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;With our twins (13 months old) we have a bedtime routine starting around 7 (earlier if they are cranky).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bath time (not every night)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diapers and pajamas&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;drink milk then brush teeth (just trying to start this)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;say (wave) goodnight to everyone&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;then they walk to bed on their own (no carrying them if at all possible)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get their bedtime teddy bears, pacifiers, and blankets&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always keep a blanket out and go back in an hour later and cover them back up.  I also leave extra pacifiers in their cribs in case they wake up during the night.  Their teddy bears are always in their cribs, we use them to signal that it is bed time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they resist walking to bed I give them their teddy bears and &quot;help&quot; them to walk there.  For us the key is that they have to walk to bed on their own each night after saying goodnight to everyone.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't keep anything in their rooms that may stimulate them.  We even read books in the living room.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once in their cribs we only go back in the room if they are crying hard and then repeat the teddy bear, pacifier, and blanket routine.  Usually it is because they threw teddy or the pacifier out of the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now this is working, I hope it continues.  If you start a routine and stick to it for a couple of weeks then tweak it if it doesn't seem to be working.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:46:35.387" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="215" CreationDate="2011-03-30T17:52:33.480" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ideally, when they are old enough to raise enough money, on their own, for buying the phone and paying of the monthly plans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will change with the child's lifestyle and community though. A cellphone is a useful way to keep track of where your kids are, and is incredibly useful in emergencies. If you're living in a highly urban area and your children spend significant time unsupervised or in transition, a cheap phone and plan can become a necessity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:52:33.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="242" CreationDate="2011-03-30T17:56:00.823" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reflex to protect the airway is a very strong one.&#xA;If I'm not mistaken, once infants are about 9 months old they have enough motor control to swat things away from their face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside form that, most blankets are porous enough to let air through anyway, unlike plastic bags which are considered a choking hazard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T17:56:00.823" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="221" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:00:37.387" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's very dependant on culture, I would imagine. Though there is a point where you cross over from boy living with mother to mother living with son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say, as a mess of vaguely Western culture that I am, that once they're at the age when they have a proper job, they should want their independence and start the process of moving out. Where I live, that's about 25, after mandatory military service and university. Obviously, the age where you are may be different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, some people never have a proper job, but you can compare to the average for the child's age and infer from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T18:00:37.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="254" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="256" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:02:36.170" Score="9" ViewCount="469" Body="&lt;p&gt;When did you consider your child(ren) old/mature enough to use public transit? How did you go about making the decision about permitting this type of freedom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-05-07T12:04:47.307" LastActivityDate="2019-05-07T12:04:47.307" Title="When should a child be allowed to use public transit on their own?" Tags="|age-appropriate|travel|independence|maturity|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="255" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="258" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:05:41.190" Score="12" ViewCount="1128" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a pre-adolescent child, what strategies can I use to control the quantity of sweets and junk food that make it into his diet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:20:11.597" LastActivityDate="2012-01-02T15:46:56.627" Title="How do you control the quantity of sweets and junk food a pre-teen eats?" Tags="|food|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="254" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:09:38.910" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is something that is done gradually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thinking back to when I was a kid (my daughter is still too young for public transit), my dad used to take me with him ever weekend into town on the underground.&#xA;He taught me how to read the maps, and understand changing trains. At some point he started letting me plan the route to our destination and say when we should get off, lead us through stations to the next train etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also started letting me carry my own ticket at some point, and go through the ticket gates by myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, after a year or so, I wanted to go to a friend who lived two stops away, they give me a couple of pounds and sent me on my way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think I was about 9 when we started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, once they can cross streets properly and safely, and don't randomly lose stuff from their pockets, you should be fine. At worst, they can ask an attendant or driver the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastEditorUserId="141" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T17:29:07.427" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T17:29:07.427" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="254" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:17:48.513" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Turn the roles around: let the child lead &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; through the train system. You can intervene if needed, otherwise just enjoy the ride.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few of these, are you convinced? If yes, fine. If no, repeat. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Test periodically to make sure no bad habits are sneaking in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T08:12:44.203" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T08:12:44.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="255" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:18:55.500" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first answer comes from the addiction treatment, and says this: Don't bring the enemy into your home. &#xA;That is to say, don't have sweets and junk in the house, or buy them for the children when outside. Opportunity is necessary for any crime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second answer goes to motive. If the child is full and satisfied, she'll eat less junk. A nutritionist I know has this advice for anyone who comes to him: Don't try to remove bad food, instead add good food. If you eat healthy, nutritious meals with a good balance of fibre, carbs and nutrients, your body won't require extra sugar, so you won't crave sweets. This is true for adults as well as children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very difficult to have sweets after a good meal, though it's quite easy after you've over-eaten. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T18:18:55.500" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="255" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:23:03.547" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;One important thing is to model good eating behavior as the parent.  If you're constantly snacking on junk and gorging yourself at meals, your children will learn the same behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that other caretakers are on board as well, or else they'll undermine your efforts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T18:23:03.547" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:32:41.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The tips provided here are all correct:  develop a consistent routine for bedtime, including a bath, books, brushing teeth, etc.  Do everything in the same order every night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably the only thing I can add is that perhaps singing a song to your toddler after the light is out, a soft lullaby, could help calm them down (for example, if reading books excites them further).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T18:32:41.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="181" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:41:45.543" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the other suggestions, I'd say make sure he can type relatively accurately. My nephew has an interest in programming, but his typing errors cause lots of problems and he gets pretty frustrated with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T18:41:45.543" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="88" CreationDate="2011-03-30T18:50:36.327" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first daughter used to leave her binky everywhere.  Eventually we started telling her that the dog would eat it if she left it laying around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, one day, &quot;the dog ate it.&quot;  She howled for a while the first night, had a minor meltdown for the next couple nights, and then that was it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our second daughter gave it up on her own with very mild prodding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My youngest son has decided that he likes his thumb better.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he doesn't stop on his own -- it's not like I can take that away from him.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T18:50:36.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="264" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="296" CreationDate="2011-03-30T19:04:46.647" Score="14" ViewCount="16723" Body="&lt;p&gt;My one year old daughter will occasionally grind her teeth together for a few seconds.  She has four teeth on top and four teeth on bottom, and she will grind them back and forth when she is walking around or playing with something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It freaks me out—it sounds horrible and gives me the shivers. (I'm squeamish as I'm writing this...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My reaction is to distract her, and usually because the sound is so appalling to me, I distract her a little too loud or sudden (don't worry, I don't yell at her).  Now, I just try to plug my ears and ignore it, but then I started wondering if it should be stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is teeth-grinding bad for her teeth or is it just something I need to deal with?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Are there ways to prevent it (does it need to be prevented)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastEditorUserId="99" LastEditDate="2012-02-06T12:40:52.453" LastActivityDate="2018-03-26T02:43:29.520" Title="Is teeth grinding bad for my child?" Tags="|teeth|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="99" CreationDate="2011-03-30T19:16:24.720" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What worked for us was a &lt;strong&gt;cold shower&lt;/strong&gt;. If we got a report from the teacher at school that he had bitten someone, or if he bit his brother, parents, grandparents, or put teeth on his babysitter, as soon as he got home he went into the tub under the cold shower. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was only for a couple of seconds, enough to get him wet, but it worked! If he didn't cooperate, he went in clothes and all. Sometimes we were in there with him. Everything else was ineffective. This took a week to stop with about 2 brief relapses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T19:16:24.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="238" CreationDate="2011-03-30T19:19:25.713" Score="44" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's actually for the kids to decide I think. As long as they're having fun and generally not objecting or letting you know they'd rather bathe alone, I think it's perfectly fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="112" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T19:19:25.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="268" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="273" CreationDate="2011-03-30T19:58:43.433" Score="9" ViewCount="751" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13 month old, who is a new walker but fairly steady on his feet, loves pens and markers. I want to encourage his writing and exploring, but I am worried about him walking around with these objects. I recognize the danger of him falling, and implore him to keep the pens out of his mouth, especially while walking. I feel like taking the objects away while he is walking confuses him, because I permit his use of them often. I see pictures and discussions of very young children in other cultures using things like knives, and I would very much like to be able to allow my son this freedom with his markers, the same freedom he enjoys with his other toys. I try to explain to him the dangers, but I'm not quite sure he fully understands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By allowing my son to walk around with markers, am I being a bad parent? Even under close supervision, I may be unable to stop the hazardous fall. How can I teach such a young child to be aware and safe with the tools he is holding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="146" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:22:11.453" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T19:22:11.453" Title="How can I teach my child to be careful about carrying potentially dangerous objects?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="270" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="271" CreationDate="2011-03-30T20:03:12.517" Score="20" ViewCount="2051" Body="&lt;p&gt;Which breeds of dog are safe to have around when raising a small child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-05-06T05:16:38.503" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T12:34:21.257" Title="Which breeds of dog are safe to have around a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|pets|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2011-03-30T20:07:53.527" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any breed of dog can be perfectly safe or extremely dangerous.  You have to test out the dog for aggressive behavior and educate your toddler on appropriate dog handling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I stress to my kids that they should &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; bother the dog while she's eating.  At the same time, our dog doesn't have any food issues -- they can stick their hands in her dish and not get bit or mauled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T20:07:53.527" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="242" CreationDate="2011-03-30T20:12:04.810" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have allowed our boys to use afghans at night since about 9 months old.  They have holes that they can breathe through if they get them over their faces but still provide the warmth that they need.  You can find some cute ones on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.etsy.com/category/crochet/afghan/baby&quot;&gt;Etsy (crochet/afghan/baby)&lt;/a&gt; that should work fine.  In fact I was just looking and found one called green shells that is $20 and almost identical to the ones my boys use nightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T20:12:04.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="268" CreationDate="2011-03-30T20:12:32.980" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe limit him to &quot;blunt&quot; objects, like markers and crayons?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, there comes a point where you'll just have to hope.  I mean, he could also get hurt if he falls while walking from the kitchen to the dinner table with the fork he just picked up to eat with.  Or he might be carrying a hard plastic toy, fall and bust his face open on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T20:12:32.980" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="255" CreationDate="2011-03-30T20:17:54.167" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless there is an associated health issue, don't try to restrict them completely.  Try to teach them that eating a candy bar, drinking a soda, having a piece of cake, or eating a donut is okay. The key is to teach them that these types of food should only be eaten once in a while, a treat is not an everyday event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a household restrict sweets to a once a week special event.  We have a fancy dessert every Sunday evening with our supper.  We try to not eat sweets any other time during the week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update to clear up misunderstanding in comments:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sunday desserts: We do NOT have high sugar desserts every Sunday night.  Instead here is the list of a few of our favorites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Low sugar cake with a homemade fruit syrup (no added sugar) poured over top&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A piece of high quality chocolate on top of &lt;a href=&quot;http://greenlitebites.com/2011/01/20/banana-soft-serve-homemade-one-ingredient-ice-cream/&quot;&gt;Banana soft serve&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Homemade fruit cobbler with a small amount of sugar&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baking powder biscuits with a bit of sweetener added and warmed pureed peaches on top&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A simple fruit salad with cool whip on top&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Homemade bran or blueberry muffins with a bit of butter and honey&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes we have routinized Sunday dessert in our house, I consider it a family tradition. It is something to look forward to each week.  In reality the sugar mostly comes from cooked down fruit and a bit of honey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone in our house is having a birthday then we have cake.  Usually it is a boxed cake and for frosting we use sugar free Cool Whip mixed with a box of pudding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do not restrict them from all sugar but we keep most processed foods with added sugar out of our house.  Everyone looks forward to our Sunday desserts and tries to come up with ideas.  The challenge then is to try to find a healthier version that tastes good and is still considered a treat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we are not at home we teach moderation, and when someone (Grandpa) offers them candy we are teaching them to have a bit and turn down the rest or save it for later.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do not count calories in our house.  Instead we mostly eat foods that are healthy, with the occasional pizza and wings thrown in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="88" LastEditDate="2012-01-02T15:46:56.627" LastActivityDate="2012-01-02T15:46:56.627" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="275" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2099" CreationDate="2011-03-30T20:32:13.953" Score="11" ViewCount="11268" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby is really sweet :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally can be considered as a good / easy going baby. There are times though, when he gets totally out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've had a discussion with a child-psychologist who stated that it is crucial, even for the first months, not to let the child to do things that are not appropriate, by just changing the tone of the voice. That way you set boundaries to the kid and he supposedly learns not to cross them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, there is this bookcase full of books and magazines, where we usually let him play  with the magazines. Many times though he grabs and throws books from the upper part, which is not desirable by us, most importantly because some of them are heavy and he might be injured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it is now understood by him, that messing with the books is not an action we are happy about, and some times he's even looking around, to see if we are watching him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there are times where he will keep taking those books, even when we are watching him, without listening to us at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much we should insist to not letting him doing such a thing? It seems that he knows pretty much well what he's doing (something that's not appropriate), but there are other moments though were I think that we should not be so strict, and just let him... throw these books (with care of course) :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taken in mind that he's 14 months old, should we keep insisting that this is an unaccepted behavior, or we should loosen up a bit and let him... go wild?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="55" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-01-11T14:06:30.193" LastActivityDate="2023-08-12T17:14:18.140" Title="How strict should we be with our 14-month-old boy?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|rules|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="275" CreationDate="2011-03-30T20:40:38.630" Score="19" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;but there are other moments though were I think that we should not be so strict, and just let him.. throw these books&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absolutely not.  If those books are off limits, then they're &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; off limits.  Not sometimes, whenever you're feeling up to dealing with it.  &lt;strong&gt;Always.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistency is key when dealing with children, especially toddlers that are just starting to test their boundaries like yours is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T20:40:38.630" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="277" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="285" CreationDate="2011-03-30T20:51:20.217" Score="29" ViewCount="10012" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've heard of some couples taking a long time to get pregnant, from the time when they decide to start. We're wondering what we can do to make the process faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastActivityDate="2014-03-09T04:10:58.150" Title="We're looking to get pregnant - what can we do to optimize our chances?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2011-03-30T21:30:27.587" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We researched this very carefully having had a border collie prior to having children. While our collie was a lovely dog we were absolutely certain it was not a good breed to combine with small children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead we acquired a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_M%C3%BCnsterl%C3%A4nder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Large Munsterlander&lt;/a&gt; and she has proved a very safe and reliable type, very tolerant of infant roughness and wholly unaggressive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T21:30:27.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2011-03-30T21:36:00.820" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A rule of thumb that I've heard is &quot;for small children, big dogs&quot;.  The reasoning is that big dogs will be unconcerned by young children and won't feel threatened, and can take a lot of abuse from an active toddler.  Smaller dogs will be more likely to be confrontational with kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, you need to do your research very carefully, and you have to get to know the specific animal.  All dogs are different and have different personalities, so safety should be your #1 concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T21:36:00.820" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2011-03-30T21:38:38.267" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wagandco.com/breed_info/breed.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;wagandco.com&lt;/a&gt; website offers a rating for child friendliness for each breed. It might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/2HuIX.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T21:38:38.267" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="283" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-30T21:52:34.790" Score="13" ViewCount="8456" Body="&lt;p&gt;Comments on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/28/at-what-age-should-same-sex-siblings-stop-sharing-their-bedroom&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; suggested a companion question about opposite-sex siblings. We had our son and daughter in the same bedroom till age 7. We moved things around last weekend, not because any kind of problem was developing but because the opportunity arose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could they have carried on sharing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2019-11-11T19:41:31.560" Title="At what age should opposite-sex siblings stop sharing their bedroom?" Tags="|siblings|bedroom|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="197" CreationDate="2011-03-30T21:56:57.517" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;A quick search will yield &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt; articles and studies that show infants benefit from touch. With co-sleeping, infants are touched while falling asleep and often all through the night. Among other things, touch helps to increase the parent-child bond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents get much better sleep because they don't usually have to get up and fully wake if the baby wakes during the night. Babies get better sleep because they don't have to wait for a parent to come get them for feeding. Note that this isn't just being lazy; well-rested parents can better care for their child during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to pediatrician Dr. William Sears, a leading proponent of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting&quot;&gt;attachment parenting&lt;/a&gt; (of which co-sleeping is a fundamental part), falling asleep in the arms of a parent helps infants learn that going to sleep is pleasant. It also helps to establish trust and reduce separation anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T21:56:57.517" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2011-03-30T21:57:05.193" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is a doctor and we spent some time planning pregnancy and making sure we had the best chances. We were surrounded by people who had been trying for a long time with no success and we asked them - in intimate detail - about their health, lifestyles, times and dates of lovemaking, family history, etc. We compiled all the evidence and built a plan. It revolves around capitalising on the correct timing, maximising your health and fertility, and a little bit of technique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a synopsis:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get the correct timing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stop birth control pill&lt;/strong&gt; and move onto condoms for a couple of months or until 'real' periods return.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Track your periods&lt;/strong&gt;. Use a calendar or spreadsheet (yes, really) to track the first day of your period each month to determine your monthly cycle. Do this for a number of months to be absolutely sure. There are plenty of Fertility Cycle calculators online.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Calculate your fertile days&lt;/strong&gt;. Once you have tracked your periods for a few months, you can note your ovulation days - 14 days &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; your period +/- 2 days. A human ovum (egg) is only around for 24 hours, so you must know what this date is.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mark your 'try' days on the calendar&lt;/strong&gt;. This is really important - if you have any other family commitments or office parties, etc, &lt;strong&gt;cancel them&lt;/strong&gt; as getting pregnant is important to you. We suggest you annotate when the baby would be born if you conceived on each date.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Maximise your health&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cut out alcohol&lt;/strong&gt;. There's evidence that it affects fertility, but it also blurs your judgement. Yes, you're more likely to be in the mood for sex after some drinks, but that may also negate the items below.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stop smoking&lt;/strong&gt;. Nicotine and tar both affect fertility and are known to cause birth defects - check the warning on the packet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cut out caffeine&lt;/strong&gt;. It lowers sperm counts and stops you sleeping.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get more sleep&lt;/strong&gt;. It raises sperm counts and gives you more energy for exercise and lovemaking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get more exercise&lt;/strong&gt;. Your reproductive organs and hormone-releasing glands need oxygenating for optimal working conditions. The serotonin released after exercise will make you feel better too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eat more healthily&lt;/strong&gt;. There are many foods which can help fertility and vitality (fruit, fibre-rich foods, fish) and those that can mess it up (high-fat, high-sugar, processed food, fast food).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Zinc supplements&lt;/strong&gt;. Men should take daily Zinc supplements to improve the sperm quality.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Folic Acid&lt;/strong&gt;. Women should take Folic Acid daily supplements to prevent birth defects. This should be taken from 3 months &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; conception and up until 3 months after. 'Pregnancy health' supplements are also worth considering as they contain Iron and other essential vitamins which may not be in your diet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Technique&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Best time to make love&lt;/strong&gt;. Hormones and fertility are highest in the mornings, but this is no good if you have to run off to work. Waking up an hour early in order to make love shouldn't be a problem for most people.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stay fresh&lt;/strong&gt;. If you have a shower when you come home from work, then you can make love at any point after that without anyone worrying about the dirt of the work day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Position&lt;/strong&gt; doesn't matter that much, but is vital that after ejaculation, the woman remains laying down with her legs and pelvis raised - use a pillow under the buttocks, knees in the air. This is to give the best opportunity for the sperm to reach the cervix, inside which they can survive for longer. Standing up within half an hour of lovemaking risks that gravity will cause everything to leak back out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife has given this plan (a more detailed version) to around 20 couples now and all have conceived within 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorDisplayName="user3140" LastEditDate="2013-03-14T20:38:46.480" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T20:38:46.480" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2011-03-30T21:59:31.523" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just relax.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fertility_monitor&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fertility monitors&lt;/a&gt; can help in achieving pregnancy. However, I wouldn't use one unless you are experiencing difficulties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="41" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T21:59:31.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2011-03-30T22:01:32.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Know your ovulation date. I have an android phone and there is actually an application that helps track your monthly and then estimates the ovulation also. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid stress and caffeine Easier said then done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a woman is overweight it is recommended she lose some. My friend lost 50lbs and it worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having sex to often when you are trying lowers the sperm count and can make it harder. So trying a day or 2 before and a day or 2 after your ovulation date. Sperm can live for 48-72 hours inside the woman. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sure there are more these are the few I remember from what I read when we decided to try for our second.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="73" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T22:01:32.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="75" CreationDate="2011-03-30T22:01:52.810" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on your answer to the question I asked above, I suggest speeding up the fun stuff going away then, at least until homework is done. My parents did that to me at about 4th grade or so (when I hit in retrospect the worst teacher I'd ever had, and gave up caring about schoolwork). School was my &quot;job&quot;, and hard work at it was what &lt;em&gt;earned&lt;/em&gt; the fun things to do. Ideally that also means you don't get to do &quot;fun stuff&quot; until she's done... as part of your job is to make sure she's keeping up with her school work. The simple old mantra of &lt;strong&gt;you can play with your toys after your homework is done&lt;/strong&gt; came about for a reason after all. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(and yes, you should hear that mantra above as &quot;You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done&quot; by Uncle Owen near the start of the first star wars movie... that's what was playing in my head at the time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T22:01:52.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="289" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="290" CreationDate="2011-03-30T22:09:39.197" Score="11" ViewCount="1363" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it appropriate to install recording or other monitoring devices? Should the babysitter know about them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-10-29T18:34:08.717" LastActivityDate="2018-10-29T18:34:08.717" Title="What can we do to monitor and evaluate how a babysitter is doing?" Tags="|babysitting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="289" CreationDate="2011-03-30T22:46:47.697" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It is not appropriate to install spycams for the babysitter&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been recent legal cases in the US where monitoring devices were used to record the babysitter/estranged-father/grand-parents without their knowledge and the evidence gathered used in court. IIRC, they all backfired, badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are genuinely worried about your babysitter, get a different one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The right babysitter for you will make you feel confident and relaxed in the knowledge that a capable person is looking after your children while you are out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your children are of a speaking age, ask them if they like the babysitter and what bedtime stories they read to them. If your children respond badly, you'll know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While out, you can always call or SMS them for a status report, but we found the best method is to sometimes come back a bit early, come into the house very quietly and see what they're up to. If they're watching TV quietly or reading a book, no worries. Use your judgement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-03-30T22:46:47.697" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="291" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="292" CreationDate="2011-03-31T00:53:28.077" Score="12" ViewCount="1167" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a foster son, who today loudly and quite seriously proclaimed that he's not my real kid. He's lived with us for over a year, and we are most likely going to adopt him, having started the paperwork to do so. I normally don't care much if he talks about his birth parents, or if he calls me by my first name, but for some reason, this just bothered me today. Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:34:00.433" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T19:34:00.433" Title="How should I handle my foster son saying he's not my 'real' kid?" Tags="|foster-parenting|adoption|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="291" CreationDate="2011-03-31T01:18:23.380" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about it.  That's a &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; common behavior with foster kids.  Here are a few of the many reasons why:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Foster kids aren't always sure where they stand with foster families.  He may simply have thought it would be taking too much liberty to call you his &quot;real&quot; family.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some foster kids still hold out hope of their birth parents showing up able and willing to care for them.  Calling you his &quot;real&quot; family might, to him, mean giving up that hope.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some foster kids think that it is disloyal to their birth family to give you that status.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some foster kids don't get that you would have any feeling about it at all, and are just trying to be precise.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some foster kids have been tossed around enough that they feel like calling you their &quot;real&quot; family prematurely would jinx any chance at adoption.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, it could be any number of other things.  Don't sweat it. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="159" LastEditDate="2011-04-03T17:17:27.130" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T17:17:27.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="289" CreationDate="2011-03-31T01:20:30.400" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are unsure about someone and can't get references, I would first try them out with you at your home. Maybe you can work from home or do some busy-work around the house to get a feel for them a few times. I would definitely go find references. I got many of my babysitting gigs from word-of-mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out your &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/is-it-legal-to-taperecord-our-babysitter&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;state laws&lt;/a&gt; first. I know in NJ only &lt;strong&gt;one&lt;/strong&gt; of the parties needs to know they are being recorded (in this case, you) but if YOU are not part of that recording, it becomes illegal. So you couldn't record a snippet of yourself and then leave a recording on to just tape the sitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T01:20:30.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="294" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="297" CreationDate="2011-03-31T01:25:10.847" Score="8" ViewCount="1545" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been wanting to adopt a child for some time now, and my wife and I are now trying to arrange things in our life to make it possible, such as trying to get out of debt so we can afford it and trying to talk about it often enough to keep it fresh in our minds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We currently have a 4 year old son who has autism and we are setting up his therapy sessions and doing everything we can for that right now, but once we have a routine going with him we will probably start a more intense discussion about adoption.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What things should we consider when deciding if we want to adopt or not and when a good time to start the process would be?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:16:00.987" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T12:29:00.287" Title="What should we be considering when adopting a sibling for our  4-year-old son?" Tags="|siblings|autism|adoption|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="204" CreationDate="2011-03-31T01:26:20.723" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Quite simply: stop doing it, stop letting the siblings and grandparents do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The behavior will only persist as long as he believes it will work.  When he consistently gets offense or irritation or surprise as a reaction instead of gifts, money, and other treats, it won't be a worthwhile behavior any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T01:26:20.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="264" CreationDate="2011-03-31T01:35:00.887" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's what my son's dentist told me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bruxism (teeth grinding, also a &lt;em&gt;great&lt;/em&gt; Scrabble word) is very common in children, and nothing to worry about unless it continues after adult molars start coming in.  They don't have their baby teeth around long enough for it to turn into a huge problem, and &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; stop when grown-up molars (which aren't as flat as baby ones) come in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T01:35:00.887" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="294" CreationDate="2011-03-31T01:47:22.587" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first step to adopting is to make the decision that it's what you want to do. No one can really do that. A few things to consider about this first step. Realize that you will be taking another kid into your home. Adoption has it's own joys, and it's own pitfalls, it's different than giving birth to children. Still, it can be a very rewarding thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adoption will change your life, in a way that giving birth won't. You gain a child from the experience, but you will also gain an appreciation for people you might not always meet in your daily life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should think about the basic things of course, like can you afford the child. Adoption often comes with an up-front cost, which you would do well to consider as well. Don't forget things like the number of rooms in your house now. Also, keep in mind that a new child will occupy you for some time, making it more difficult to pay attention to your current children and your spouse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me say a bit about your child with Autism. Autistic children tend to like to have things in a particular way. If things change, they tend to be upset. You would do well to prepare your child for a new child into his life. If he has some kind of a therapist, you should council them as well, to help prepare him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next step is to decide what kind of adoption you wish to pursue. The most common types are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Newborn infant within the your own country&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Special needs adoption&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Foster Care adoption&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;International adoption&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some sub-categories of the above, as well as some combinations, but that will do for now. Let me explain a bit about each of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborn adoptions can take place via an agency, or can be accomplished directly if you know a person or know a person who knows a person who is willing to give a child up for adoption. The last is rather rare, it's far more common to contact an agency. Increasingly in the US, and I suspect in the rest of the world, it is becoming quite rare to give a child up for adoption. The most common supply of these babies, teenage mothers, are either aborting their kids, raising them, or giving them to their parents to raise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Special needs is really a variant of the first, but can take on it's own challenges. Sometimes the birth family knows that their kid will have special needs, including being blind, Down syndrome, autism, or other similar disorders. These type of children tend to be easier to find, for those parents who are willing to take these children into their homes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Foster care is an often overlooked opportunity. Really there are 3 types of foster parents. There are some who are willing to watch children in their lives for a short period of time, but not permanently. There are those who take children whose birth parents still have legal rights, and might be given back to their birth families at any time. And lastly, there are those who only take children who their parents have been taken away for one reason or another. Foster parenting is similar to Special Needs adoptions in some ways, but not all. Typically, you will have more appointments, involvement, etc with these kids than with normal kids, but unless you specifically go for special needs foster kids, it should be easier than a special needs kid, in terms of the daily taking care of. Still, foster parenting can exact a very emotional toil on the whole family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;International adoptions are increasingly becoming popular. Most commonly, these kids come from countries like China, South America, Africa, but can sometimes come from countries facing a major disaster, like Japan is right now. Typically, these kids will be older, because the process to send these kids away takes a few years. They will have some emotional issues, and perhaps a language barrier, but they are well prepared to be adopted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, it's mostly contacting an appropriate agency or person, waiting the appropriate amount of time, filling out paperwork, meeting the kids, going to court, and probably a bunch of things I'm missing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you'd like to know more, feel free to ask:-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorUserId="80" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T12:29:00.287" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T12:29:00.287" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="298" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-03-31T01:56:40.253" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This age specific tag covers questions about infants after they realize there's more to the world than eating, sleeping and filling a diaper, but before they start toddling around on 2 feet, so say from about 3 months of age to about 1 year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any age specific tag, the edges are fuzzy between this and the following tags: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/newborn&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'newborn'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;newborn&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/toddler&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'toddler'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;toddler&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A rule of thumb: this timeframe ends roughly when they become seriously mobile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:29:18.837" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:29:18.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="299" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-03-31T01:56:40.253" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from about 3 months to about 1 year of age. Younger: newborn. Older: toddler." OwnerUserId="92" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-10-04T18:31:49.500" LastActivityDate="2011-10-04T18:31:49.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="300" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-31T02:03:49.317" Score="20" ViewCount="1296" Body="&lt;p&gt;More and more lately, I'm finding that our 5-year old daughter starts asking for dessert before she's finished her dinner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, I'd like to find a way to manage this without it ending in a fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem with the simple &quot;no dessert until you've finished your dinner&quot; line, is that I've been told by some people I trust that research has shown this sort of setup (requiring the eating of food in order to get a reward) to increase the likelihood of eating disorders later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would really appreciate being pointed to research that either enforces or disproves that notion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="155" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:15:46.780" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:15:46.780" Title="What is a good strategy for getting our 5 year old to finish dinner before expecting dessert?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|health|eating|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2011-03-31T02:10:43.843" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents made it clear from a young age that when we were done with High School we were only able to stay at home if we were in college. And if we were staying at home we had to either help out with our share of chores or pay rent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I appreciated was them always being consistant and letting us know well before the time came what to expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my son, if I charged rent would entirely depend on the situation, is he going to school or doing something productive to enhance his future? Then I would just ask for him to help out with chores and let him know that not paying rent is our way of supporting him and helping him to focus on his studies so he doesn't need to work as much which could distract from school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is just being a bum, working a minimum wage job just to get money to hang out with his friends all the time then I would require rent, to start getting him used to the real world where we have expenses and cannot just blow all of our money on fun stuff all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T02:10:43.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="302" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="320" CreationDate="2011-03-31T02:12:30.253" Score="15" ViewCount="22968" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is now almost 12 months old and he still doesn't sleep through the night regularly. Maybe one night a month he will sleep from 7pm-&gt;6.30am without waking, and that's only if he's utterly exhausted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise he still wakes up once a night, at either 9pm, 11.30pm or 2am. Sometimes he's hungry and polishes off a whole bottle, other times he's not hungry at all. There never seems to be any consitancy that we can spot, even though we keep his morning routine and evening routine to the minute, every single day of the week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was rather hoping that by this stage he would be sleeping through 5-6 nights a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any sort of &quot;standard&quot; age that they should start sleeping through?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="76" LastEditorUserId="119" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T09:52:40.737" LastActivityDate="2020-08-06T21:21:12.743" Title="At what age do kids start sleeping through the night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|age-appropriate|development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="204" CreationDate="2011-03-31T02:17:46.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would think of this as a gift that your son has. He has an amazing power of persuasion. &#xA;Can you help him channel this persuasion towards achieving greater accomplishments? Can he write a business plan and get people to fund his business idea? Can he convince people to donate money to a great charity? Be creative. Help him be creative. Harness his strengths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T02:17:46.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-03-31T02:35:30.240" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally agree with this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.empoweredparents.com/1childhoodonset/childhood_06.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;article's&lt;/a&gt; perspective on this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are the parents so you make the rules. You need to talk to your kids and help them understand that desserts are &quot;extra&quot; and are not a ritual (i.e. should not be expected). I think you should start by saying one night: &quot;there is no dessert tonight&quot; or the dessert is a vegetable like baby carrots or an apple. If they throw a fit, there should be an appropriate punishment to show them that throwing a tantrum won't get you to change your mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember to set a good example and finish your plate as well and buy healthy snacks to help your child get a balanced diet. If you don't stock cookies, it's easier to tell them no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T02:35:30.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="302" CreationDate="2011-03-31T02:42:23.667" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never heard of doctors or psychologists using sleeping through the night as a milestone or indicator of progress in childhood development, if that's what you're asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have 5 kids and they all started sleeping through the night at different ages. In general, though, our kids have started sleeping much better as they've neared 2 years old.  Sometimes they go through phases where they wake up a few nights in a row. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each child is very different. For example, we have a 3 year old that still wakes up 1-2 times a night, while our 5 year old started sleeping through the night when he turned 2 and almost never wakes up. We just let our 3 year old sleep with us if/when he wakes up, because he seems to be much happier and we tend to get more sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Co-sleeping was a life saver for us, especially before 1 years old, because the babies seemed to wake up a lot less when they were sleeping with us. We usually put them to bed in their crib, then the first time they woke up (which was usually when we're about to go to sleep) we would bring them to bed with us. My wife has breast fed all the kids for 18-24 months, so co-sleeping allowed her to feed the babies without her or them having to wake up completely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T02:42:23.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-03-31T02:47:23.570" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Only do dessert one night a week. On dessert night, don't tell them its dessert night until after they've finished their food. So from their perspective, its never dessert night until they get surprised once a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T02:47:23.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="307" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-31T02:55:01.950" Score="29" ViewCount="11666" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard both that 'baby talking' in response to a child's babble is productive, and that 'baby talking' is counter-productive and can impede language development. Any thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="146" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:15:29.190" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:15:29.190" Title="Is baby talk helpful or detrimental?" Tags="|toddler|infant|language-development|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="307" CreationDate="2011-03-31T03:01:00.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has banned me from doing &quot;baby talk&quot;, and I tell you what - it's really, really, really hard to stop doing it. She doesn't even want me using a different tone of voice when I speak to our child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try my best, simply because she's the boss, but I have serious doubts about its impact, and even if it does have an impact, why do we care?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure most of our parents used baby talk with us, and (most) of us speak perfectly well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; have detrimental effects to how quickly they learn language, why do we care? I think we're all far too focussed on giving our kids the biggest head start in life that we can simply because we &quot;don't want them to get left behind&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But right now, the huge smile and giggles I can get out of my child is far, far more important to me than making sure that they can say big words sooner than the other kids. And if baby talk gets me those smiles, then so be it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="76" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T03:01:00.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-03-31T03:09:28.990" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Never talk about dessert. Period. Don't remind him that the dessert exists. I've regretted every time I did it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some good food tips from the pre-school nutritionist: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;just talk about the benefits the food will bring to him (stronger, smarter), never make it emotional (I'll be very sad if you don't eat your broccoli). Don't let the Drama enter your dinner table.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no main dishes, no snacks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hunger is the best seasoning (very hard to put in practice)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="156" LastEditorUserId="160" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T20:47:55.530" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T20:47:55.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-03-31T03:15:23.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would go a step further than some of the others and remove dessert as an expectation or rather an option altogether. Growing up dessert was what company brought over, or what we had on special occasions, or on the rare outing. We ate well, and then we were done. Sometimes we had fruit later on in the evening. Further more, finishing food (vegetables especially), was never an option. There was no backup plan, there was no alternative meal. There was food. You ate it, or you didn't. (Actually, it was you eat it now that it tastes good, or you can wait until it's cold and pretty gross, and choke it down). I remember some &quot;disagreements&quot; about this, but looking back, I'm incredibly grateful. I ate well the, eat well now, and as I'm starting a family, my wife and I are doing the same. Balanced meals, no unnecessary pieces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="69" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T03:15:23.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="307" CreationDate="2011-03-31T04:23:51.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any positive interaction is productive.  I suppose if all a baby ever heard was baby-talk, there might be a problem.  But that's not the case.  Babies hear adults talk to each other, and they listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have fun and your baby has fun when you use baby talk, then do it.  They don't stay babies forever, so enjoy that time while you have it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T04:23:51.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="307" CreationDate="2011-03-31T04:24:18.557" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby talk, &lt;em&gt;when used correctly&lt;/em&gt; is beneficial to speech development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For infants not yet using speech at all, use exaggerated changes in pitch and tone to help them learn the rhythm of speech and the difference between tones of voice.  Make games of mimicking different sounds for one another (this helps your child learn phonemes in the language(s) spoken at home).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For little ones just beginning to string together syllables, you don't need the sing-song voice used with infants, but you should still over-emphasize changes in tone so they can easily catch on.  Meanwhile, don't use made-up words, but do vary your pitch -- remember, until your child starts to consistently use words to represent things or actions, he/she hasn't grasped what words are, and needs whatever you can do to make them interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Once your child routinely uses words to influence their world (&quot;more&quot;, &quot;drink&quot;, &quot;cookie&quot;, &quot;please&quot;, &quot;ride&quot;, &quot;no&quot;), it's time to speak in normal tones.  Now words have intrinsic value to your child, and there's no need for games.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't use made-up words or broken grammar at any point in your child's speech development ... if he/she is going to go to the effort of learning something, it may as well be useful rather than something to be later un-learned.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do correct errors when they crop up, don't let them become habit.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby talk often becomes a problem because parents use made-up words, don't phase it out when the child begins to develop speech ability, or think that the errors in pronunciation, enunciation, or grammar their children make are cute and do not correct them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T04:24:18.557" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-03-31T04:29:59.767" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever we have &quot;dessert&quot; it's something well after dinner, so it's not associated with the meal.  If we ever have something after the meal, it's orange slices or some other fruit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does happen that our son says he's no longer hungry because he's excited about something else.  We set the food aside and tell him it's there if he wants it later, but he doesn't get anything else to eat.  This happens seldom enough that it's a good approach for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T04:29:59.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="307" CreationDate="2011-03-31T04:31:00.407" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know of no firm evidence indicating that baby talk is either helpful or detrimental in language development. From my own experience, however, I can say that infants learn from facial expressions and tone of voice as much as they do from words. They are learning these things long before they can imitate them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants can detect differences in volume and tone earlier than they can discern words, especially when volume and tone are exaggerated (as in baby talk). I see no problem with it and have encountered no problems with it so far with my children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, baby talk is not the only form of communication we use with our children. While it gets the best reactions early on, we also talk to, sing to, and sign to our children at a very young age--younger than they can understand or mimic. As they grow older we adapt our communication to their maturity level, eventually cutting out the baby talk. This worked wonderfully for our first child, although it's too early to tell whether this is because of our method or whether we just got lucky with a bright kid!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T04:31:00.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="275" CreationDate="2011-03-31T04:38:48.623" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Boundaries on behavior are important at any age after infancy.  Set them and stick to them.  Children are very keen on parents giving in.  Even though it is easier to give in sometimes, it will only make things more difficult later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that boundaries are not the same as expectations.  Boundaries are the minimum requirements for behavior in your child's environment, and they are not negotiable.  They cover safety and health issues, as well as simple day-to-day means to maintain your sanity.  Expectations are what you work with children to obtain or maintain.  Expectations can be modified regularly.  Not boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T04:38:48.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="268" CreationDate="2011-03-31T04:44:30.260" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're uncomfortable with your son walking around with pens and markers, set aside a special place where the pens and markers need to stay.  Put up a easel that takes a roll of paper.  Keep the pens and markers there.  If he's too young to leave them there, then make it a supervised play time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T04:44:30.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-03-31T05:09:23.960" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cancel dessert altogether&lt;/strong&gt;. When the children learn that food is just a test to pass on the way to dessert, they'll cheat, lie and steal to pass the test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a kid of 8 who'll argue over every single piece on his plate in negotiation, claiming not to be hungry. As soon as dessert appears, he'll eat 700 calories worth of cake. If he gets his nutrition (calories at least) from sweets, why would he bother eating proper food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is no dessert, the child will be hungry, and will then eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This actually takes some patience and coping if your child is already used to expecting dessert after each meal. It is certainly doable though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also helps not to sit there eating dessert yourself while this is going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T05:09:23.960" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="302" CreationDate="2011-03-31T06:15:51.900" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's counter-productive to put a standard age on this - it's hugely dependent on your child and to a certain extent your home environment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son slept through from 4 months or so, a good friends child still doesn't sleep reliably at 6 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, reducing the number of naps during the day would probably help. It he's not tired, he's not going to physically need the sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T06:15:51.900" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="321" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="324" CreationDate="2011-03-31T06:19:28.200" Score="11" ViewCount="1389" Body="&lt;p&gt;We attend parent-teacher consultations once a term and we sometimes come out feeling as if we've just received the the boilerplate script. Little X is doing fine, reaching all appropriate milestones etc. If we ask what we can do to at home it's usually &quot;keep doing what you are&quot; or &quot;keep encouraging them&quot;, pretty vague.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure it's hard for teachers to come up with novel, useful feedback when they're doing a dozen kids' parents in an evening. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, has anyone got any tips for how to maximise the usefulness of these 20 minute sessions? What kinds of things can we do to get the teacher to open up a bit more? What are the &quot;killer&quot; questions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are currently in first school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-01T21:26:42.520" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T21:26:42.520" Title="How can we make the most of Parent-Teacher consultations?" Tags="|education|school|teacher|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="35" CreationDate="2011-03-31T06:21:41.833" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The UK National health service &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/birthtofive.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;suggests&lt;/a&gt; that at 12-18 months a child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;&lt;strong&gt;May&lt;/strong&gt; start to say words and understand them&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The emphasis is mine, with children there is never a standard answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T06:21:41.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="323" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-31T06:27:11.767" Score="10" ViewCount="500" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our child has always known they are free to ask about the circumstances of their adoption and we have always given open, honest, age-appropriate answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this &quot;free to talk&quot; attitude may not have helped them deal with peers at school who ask about it. Really it's none of their business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we help our child to understand it's an open topic at home and nothing shameful, yet they shouldn't feel obliged to answer intrusive questions coming at them from the wider world?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:53:54.293" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T19:53:54.293" Title="How should a child respond to peers who ask about their adoption?" Tags="|school|adoption|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="321" CreationDate="2011-03-31T06:38:56.217" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;During parent-teacher conferences, the teacher has only 20 minutes to go through everything the school requires them to cover (grades, milestones, whatever) and there's usually little or no time left for meaningful communication.  One can only stretch the time so much before destroying the schedule (which parents make the effort to arrive for), so the teacher does it for the students who most need some sort of change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the short answer is &quot;don't expect anything meaningful from parent-teacher conference day&quot;.  It's simply impractical given the format.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do to get meaningful feedback from the teacher is to have contact frequently outside of the once or twice-yearly conference.  Write a note, send an email, catch him/her at a school event.  When you do communicate with the teacher, make sure to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have specific questions, and offer specific, concrete examples of anything that concerns you or goals you want to help your child reach. (If you don't want a boilerplate response, getting boilerplate questions to ask isn't the way to go.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make communicating with you as lightweight for the teacher as possible.  Do what is convenient for him/her.  You have one or a few kids to worry about -- he/she has &lt;em&gt;dozens&lt;/em&gt;.  Respect the teacher's time and he/she will notice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure the teacher has a chance to feel you out over several different occasions.  A teacher can't give you information &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; will find valuable unless he/she understands what your parenting style is, and how you react to different types of presentation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, understand that not all teachers are big on parent communication.  Some are just jaded, some can't be bothered, and others have bought into the social pressure against seeking to &quot;fix what isn't broken&quot; by looking for ways to enhance the education of students who aren't struggling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T06:38:56.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="323" CreationDate="2011-03-31T06:43:27.227" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that treating adoption like a &quot;special&quot; topic not treated by the same social rules as others may be a bad move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son knows that if someone asks a question he isn't comfortable with, about &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt;, he doesn't have to answer it.  If he tries it vs. a teacher, it's subject to my judgement when I get a phone call about it, but vs. peers it is 100% his call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you take that attitude in general, you lose any potential feeling of stigma regarding the subject of adoption, because it's not &lt;em&gt;about&lt;/em&gt; adoption, it's about dealing with nosy kids. :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T06:43:27.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="200" CreationDate="2011-03-31T06:55:21.740" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;To be honest I have some problems with these labels. From what I can tell, we are doing attachment parenting, without having ever heard of it, by just doing what feels right and is easy. It's a natural thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So why attach a label to it? It turns it into some sort of movement, means you have to do it &quot;Just the right way&quot;, as described in the books. For example we have been more or less co-sleeping for a year now, but it isn't working anymore, but when asking how to stop we get several responses telling us we shouldn't, because Attachment Parenting is so great and you have to follow it by the book. It becomes dogma. Therefore I think it's a bad idea to do Attachment Parenting. It is a good idea to follow the practices in Attachment Parenting, but as soon as you attach a label to it it becomes a fixed set of things to do, that you then may end up forcing yourself or your child to do even when it's not right for you, but because it's included in the label. Sure, most people won't do that, but do they then continue to use the label or not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that brings me to the actual question: Statistics like this will be very misleading, as many more people do attachment parenting than any statistics would show, because they don't know what it is. Many probably know what it is, say they follow it, but don't follow it by the book. Should they then be counted at doing it or not? How much of it do you need to do to classify as attachment parenting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the answer probably is: Everyone does it, more or less. Some a lot, some very little. Where you put the line to say &quot;this is attachment parenting and that is not&quot; becomes arbitrary, and therefore any percentage would be arbitrary as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T06:55:21.740" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="327" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="343" CreationDate="2011-03-31T07:05:36.897" Score="26" ViewCount="1258" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8yo child with CAS (Childhood Apraxia of Speech).  Because the first two schools he attended didn't deal well with his CAS, he only really began to read about a year ago.  He reads at a first grade level.  However, his comprehension (when I read to him or he listens to audiobooks) is somewhere around middle school to junior high school level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes reading a constant struggle.  He can read &lt;em&gt;Mittens the Kitten&lt;/em&gt;.  He &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to read Tolkien, Asimov, Jules Verne, and Mark Twain, and compared to them, the things he can read seem &quot;boring and dumb&quot; (his words).  I'm trying hard to find things that are good enough to keep his attention, but easy enough for him to read on his own to gain practice and confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2012-11-12T19:54:36.263" Title="How do you find great reading material for a child whose reading ability is far outstripped by his/her comprehension?" Tags="|reading|special-needs|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2011-03-31T07:10:18.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Where I live (Australia—Victoria, specifically), this isn't the norm—probably because of how university (&quot;college&quot; in America) is handled here. The government loans money to students (for basically no interest, other than indexing with inflation), which is paid back automatically as part of tax once your income exceeds a certain threshold (i.e. usually after you've got your degree).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hence, while it's common for university students to have a part-time job, it's not necessary, and because it's not like your parents are paying for your education, the living arrangement often continues as it was in high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it varies wildly from family to family; in my family, I moved out once as soon as I turned 18 (which I'm sure happens commonly elsewhere), while others stayed until they were in their mid-late twenties and got married. I have a 23-year old brother still at home who's just finished his degree, and will probably move out once he has a job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we were in more financial difficulty (~10 years ago), the older kids (who were already working part-time) did contribute board (or &quot;rent&quot;), but I wouldn't be surprised if that was just of their own choice and recognition of the times we were in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And I'm one of five, which is why I seem to have brothers and sisters coming out my ears.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="66" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T07:10:18.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="327" CreationDate="2011-03-31T07:19:50.050" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Did you consider writing something on your own? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, take a look at Tolkien. Take his story and make a chapter of your own, with your own words. Make it a bit easier. Leave out titles that are hard to grasp, and try to create sentences that are as easy as possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to be a writer to do this; you can use what's in the book, just simplify it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wrote a lot of kids stories for my son when I didn't really like the children's books I found. It helps you, too: it makes you think and use your own imagination. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To show you what I mean I added some pictures from one of my notebooks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like to put little drawings into them. This one is about a knight who travels across a desert and gets into trouble with some wolf brothers.&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/S4yJG.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Ud06L.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastEditorUserId="984" LastEditDate="2011-12-02T01:39:22.470" LastActivityDate="2011-12-02T01:39:22.470" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="283" CreationDate="2011-03-31T07:23:11.203" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/238/at-what-age-should-opposite-sex-siblings-stop-bathing-together/267#267&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; is just as suitable here: As long as they want to. Eventually they'll want their private space for various reasons, certainly when puberty kicks in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdote: a set of boy/girl twins I know shared a room until age 9 and that worked well. I'm not aware of the separation reason; whether it was just an opportunity like in your question, or a wish from the kids, or uh, &lt;em&gt;biological&lt;/em&gt; considerations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T07:23:11.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2011-03-31T07:44:38.627" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that JBR surprisingly doesn't mention is this, based on personal experience: If it doesn't happen for several months despite best efforts, then it might be a medical situation. We spent &lt;em&gt;many frustrating months&lt;/em&gt; trying without success before questioning the biological machinery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dad should have his sperm count/quality tested -- there's not much more he can do for his part. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom should have her ovulation tested -- this can be many things but I guess it mostly boils down to having just the right levels of the right hormones at the right time. This is staggeringly complex and will often not solve itself automatically, so medication is a must, sometimes long-term. A set of blood tests in the course of the ovulation cycle will be in place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, medication is a &lt;em&gt;treatment&lt;/em&gt; and not something couples should do preemptively -- first wait and see if nature works out for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T07:44:38.627" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="59" CreationDate="2011-03-31T07:47:41.663" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Web MD&lt;/a&gt; a seven-year-old should get about 10 to 11 hours of sleep per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3-6 Years Old: 10 - 12 hours per day&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children at this age typically go to bed between 7 and 9 p.m. and wake up around 6 and 8 a.m., just as they did when they were younger. At 3, most children are still napping while at 5, most are not. Naps gradually become shorter as well. New sleep problems do not usually develop after 3 years of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;7-12 Years Old: 10 - 11 hours per day&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At these ages, with social, school, and family activities, bedtimes gradually become later and later, with most 12-years-olds going to bed at about 9 p.m. There is still a wide range of bedtimes, from 7:30 to 10 p.m., as well as total sleep times, from 9 to 12 hours, although the average is only about 9 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That sounds like your daughter needs a little too much sleep, especially if it is starting to interfere with school. If it were me I would probably mention it to your doctor during the next check up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T07:47:41.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="268" CreationDate="2011-03-31T08:09:49.900" Score="4" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are objects that can safely be carried around by a child of age X, like a stuffed animal or a ball.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Other objects may be used in place but not carried around, like food or heavy or hard or pointy things.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And some objects may never be touched, period.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Decide for yourself which objects are okay for the current age, and stick to that. Be consistent, never allow exceptions to your rule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the child grows, you can gradually slacken the rules (moving objects from your mental &quot;never&quot; list to the &quot;in place&quot; list).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T08:09:49.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="335" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-31T08:41:46.500" Score="11" ViewCount="349" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any recommended books, DVDs, websites, etc for parents wanting to use sign language with their (hearing) baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="138" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:56:54.573" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T09:25:02.020" Title="What are some resources to help in learning sign language?" Tags="|sign-language|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="335" CreationDate="2011-03-31T08:53:54.400" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in Austria, there is the concept of a &lt;strong&gt;community college&lt;/strong&gt; where the general public can enroll for specific classes on a wide range of topics. One such topic was baby sign language (which is completely different from deaf people's sign language!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also &lt;strong&gt;ask your pediatrician&lt;/strong&gt; or even the &lt;strong&gt;local library&lt;/strong&gt; for references about such classes in your neighborhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T08:53:54.400" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="327" CreationDate="2011-03-31T09:16:30.667" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;What about comic books and graphic novels? Many pictures, little text (usually) and a lot of true masterpieces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some classic books are available as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/20/classic-book-to-graphic-novel_n_688270.html&quot;&gt;graphic novels&lt;/a&gt;. And of course there are many &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1401212824&quot;&gt;excellent&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1401210791&quot;&gt;original&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1563898586&quot;&gt;comic&lt;/a&gt; books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T09:16:30.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="341" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-31T09:16:50.130" Score="10" ViewCount="17028" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three months old son really likes to sit or lie in the spots where the sun shines through our windows unto the floor. I guess he likes the additional warmth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently it's winter in Germany (from a temperature perspective) so the sun isn't that strong, but I'm afraid in spring and summer eventually the sun will get very dangerous for the delicate baby skin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could not find any concise advice on this matter, some say &quot;no sun at all&quot;, some say &quot;sunlight is good&quot;, some say &quot;sunlight only to a certain degree&quot;. Obviously this highly depends on the geographic region and the actual age of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any rules of thumb to decide how much sun is too much? Is there any typical behaviour or reactions to watch out for which indicate too much exposure? Or is it better to play it safe and avoid direct sunlight under all circumstances?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; I'm interested in both indoor and outdoor exposure, because all children will be exposed to sunlight both indoors and outdoors. (Except for some places in Africa perhaps)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="159" LastEditorUserId="159" LastEditDate="2011-04-01T06:42:03.653" LastActivityDate="2017-07-27T06:25:46.233" Title="How much sun is too much for a child?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="341" CreationDate="2011-03-31T09:22:16.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sun is a good source of vitamin D, so I would not avoid it completely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to stay out of direct/strong sunshine between 10am and 4pm, and have your baby use sunscreen and a hat regularly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T09:22:16.420" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="327" CreationDate="2011-03-31T09:34:59.717" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out some of the things Terry Pratchett has done. Even when he writes for children and young adults and the language is simpler, the ideas communicated is still the same advanced Terry Pratchett ideas. I've read many of his young adult book sand enjoy them just as much as his &quot;normal&quot; books. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your reference to &quot;Mittens the Kitten&quot; is this: &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1410775933&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Mittens-Kitten-Ruth-Miracle/dp/1410775933&lt;/a&gt; he might be able to read &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bromeliad&quot;&gt;The Bromeliad Trilogy&lt;/a&gt;, &quot;Truckers&quot;, &quot;Diggers&quot; and &quot;Wings&quot;. It's funny and exciting even for adults. I read it twice and do look very much forward to reading it to my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bit more advanced is the Johnny Maxwell trilogy and the books about &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiffany_Aching&quot;&gt;Tiffany Aching&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say all of these books contains subtleties and ideas far above the difficulty of the language, and in addition they are hilarious. So if your son can read them, he should enjoy them. I did. :-) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T09:34:59.717" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="345" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="350" CreationDate="2011-03-31T10:56:24.107" Score="5" ViewCount="1094" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a few years now I've been going to the gym three or four times a week, but since I've become a father if had to cut back my visits to the gym.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since this cutback already shows on the scale, I wonder &lt;strong&gt;which sporting activities in general can be done with the whole family and also are age appropriate&lt;/strong&gt;, i.e. what can be done with a 3/6/12/16 year old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some activities might be harmful or impossible before a certain age and some activities might get boring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="159" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:08:23.240" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T06:18:32.980" Title="What age-appropriate sports allow the whole family to participate?" Tags="|health|sports|family-activities|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="327" CreationDate="2011-03-31T10:57:45.967" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;One excellent supplement to books is to use closed captioning when the television is used. This puts the words being spoken on the screen in tandem with what the child is watching. While it is not as riveting or entertaining as the reading material can be; it helps address the other side which is to help raise the reading ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T10:57:45.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="347" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="357" CreationDate="2011-03-31T11:05:38.350" Score="16" ViewCount="3247" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4 1/2 yr old. We're at the stage where he's definitely finicky over foods. The issue is not so much that he's finicky, but that he expresses it by taking a bite and then mock choking. I am trying to convey that choking is a very bad way to convey this. Sure, I'd love to fix the &quot;I don't want to eat this&quot; problem, but right now I'm more concerned about the mock choking as a way of expression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:04:38.643" LastActivityDate="2017-05-16T05:09:13.040" Title="How to get a child to stop pretending to choke on foods he doesn't want to eat?" Tags="|eating|discipline|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="345" CreationDate="2011-03-31T11:51:56.760" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cycling&lt;/strong&gt; is a sport the whole family can do together. It grows with the family too. Initially, younger ones can be attached to an adult bike in a seat or with a bike pup. Later they become independent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Soccer&lt;/strong&gt; is another sport everyone can play with minimal equipment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T11:51:56.760" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="341" CreationDate="2011-03-31T11:54:12.200" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're asking about the effects of sunlight on children &lt;em&gt;indoors&lt;/em&gt; then my answer is that there are no ill effects and the child can stay in the sun for as long as it wants. &#xA;There is no risk of sunburn or other sun-induced dangers. As Lennart points out in a comment, there are also no vitamin benefits as there would be outdoors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really the only consideration is that it can get quite warm near a sunny window. Make sure the room temperature and clothing is appropriate, and that objects in the sunlight don't become too heated (like seatbelts in a car). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T14:59:50.727" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T14:59:50.727" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="353" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="395" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:01:12.380" Score="13" ViewCount="10969" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-year-old is asking to bike to school without adults. He is generally responsible. So far I have said he needs to find a friend to go with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can children do to convince their parents that they are capable of going to school on their own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What factors do you think are important?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T15:11:22.027" Title="When should kids be allowed to walk/bike to school alone?" Tags="|independence|freedom|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="345" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:03:55.187" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any team sports suits you. I'd suggest soccer or volleyball though. They don't require any special equipment, and they are don't require to be especially physically fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T12:03:55.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="355" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="356" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:09:21.267" Score="4" ViewCount="361" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I prepare my kids for their first sleepover? What should I do if they want to come home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2012-03-10T01:28:19.663" Title="How do I prepare my child for a sleepover?" Tags="|separation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="355" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:28:00.113" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the parent side:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to the host parents&lt;/strong&gt; to make sure you know what the plan is. Will there be a party? Games? Pillow fights? Food? Candy? Bedtime rituals, bath, brushing teeth, prayers? Are there house rules? Get a guest list so you know what other kids will participate (are you okay with who is on the list?). Make sure you agree with the plan. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, agree with the host parents what to do if things don't go according to plan. At what stage do you want to be contacted? How bad are things allowed to turn before you want to pick up your child? Is there a &quot;point of no return&quot;: at what time of night is the stay committed and the child must stay there? What are the host parents' plan in case of a real (medical) emergency? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the child side:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to your child&lt;/strong&gt; about what they expect to happen. What do they &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to happen (like activities)? What to they &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; want to happen (like bed-wetting)? Make sure the child understands what is allowed and what isn't, and what kind of situations qualify for being picked up in the middle of the night. Make sure that the child is comfortable with the host parents (they might have to soothe the child, and this had better work), and if the child is comfortable with all the other guests. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expectations can be big, and even a successful sleepover might not be a happy one if some detail went badly. Try to steer the child's expectations; not too high, but still a fun event to look forward to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to make the child grasp the most difficult thing: Understand that it won't be perfect, and no matter what happens, always try to make the best of it and enjoy the good bits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T12:28:00.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="347" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:33:12.230" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;One answer could be a serious reaction to mock-choking. What would you do if your child &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; choked on food? You'd probably &lt;a href=&quot;http://firstaid.webmd.com/choking-treatment&quot;&gt;act fast&lt;/a&gt; and not in an entirely funny manner. Also, you'd have a seriously concerned face. &quot;This time it looked like you really were choking! I was afraid!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important point is to be serious, not mock-serious. Also, does he know the tale about the boy that cried wolf every time? Mention it, and he'll make a connection, I suspect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="47" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2011-06-12T02:18:36.910" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T02:18:36.910" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="358" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="366" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:37:10.247" Score="11" ViewCount="582" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are co-sleeping with our son. At some point in the future, we will need to transition him out of our bed. What is the best way to do this? Cold turkey vs. gradual? Specific age vs. signs he's ready (and if so, what are those signs)?  Other things we should consider?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="161" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-07-14T14:52:49.357" LastActivityDate="2018-07-14T15:03:41.400" Title="What is the best way to transition away from co-sleeping?" Tags="|sleep|cosleeping|transition|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="353" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:51:31.497" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only real factor, besides your own potential anxiety, is whether you believe he can take care of himself - including handling problems that may come up. To help decide, I would suggest quizzing him on possible scenarios. Maybe use some role play. For instance - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You've taken a wrong turn and don't recognize the street, what do you do? &lt;em&gt;(Approach a stranger but stay in public view, ask for directions or to use a phone)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You run into another kid who wants to take a different route / go play at the park / etc &lt;em&gt;(See if they want to walk with you for company, keep heading to / from school)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The classic stranger with candy - get in the van, help me find the puppy, etc. &lt;em&gt;(Be polite but stay in public view, keep walking, scream bloody murder if you really feel threatened.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggested answers are just that - suggestions. Use your own judgement - probably on the spot too, because no matter how much you or I think up, your kid will probably come up with their own responses that are very likely good fits to the situation too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, it's one of those &quot;it depends&quot; sort of answers, but I think the role played scenarios should help you figure it out, and will help prepare a kid who isn't quite ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T12:51:31.497" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="49" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:52:08.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just as the others have noted, we too used sign when our kids were small to reduce frustration. Now, that they are older (7&amp;amp;9), we use sign language to give them &lt;strong&gt;silent cues&lt;/strong&gt; (remember thank you!) or ask questions at a distance &lt;strong&gt;without drawing attention&lt;/strong&gt; (hungry? bathroom? ready to go? come here!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T12:52:08.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="353" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:52:08.597" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apart from the obvious issue of a child's responsibility level, &lt;strong&gt;distance&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;location&lt;/strong&gt; would be important factors for me. I walked from school from around 9 years old or so, but it was only 0.5Km, in a quiet village with good pavements (sidewalks).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Riding a bike would personally make me very nervous as the chance of more serious accidents is much higher, especially on the road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T12:52:08.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="347" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:55:00.340" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a counter-point to @9000's suggestion, try ignoring him completely (assuming you can tell the difference between mock and not!). Most behaviours such are a method of garnering attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But whatever you do, only choose one course of action, don't confuse him by switching between the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastEditorUserId="43" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T19:08:43.043" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T19:08:43.043" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="353" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:57:01.383" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This can vary widely by region: Some cities are downright murderous and can only be traversed by car, others are very safe. Here are the factors that I can think of, in no particular order:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How long is the trip? (three minutes at a child's pace, or twenty minutes by car)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are the roads like? (bike lanes &gt; pavement &gt; dirt road)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much traffic is there? Are there specific points that are more dangerous than the rest of the way? (hiding places, dark parks, big intersections)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What kind of traffic is there? (lorries, trains, cars, bicycles)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What kind of neighborhoods does the child need to get through? (upper class residential areas, shopping, industry)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can the child ride the bike to get there? (moving faster than walking means less chance of distractions, and theoretically less chance of kidnapping??)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can the child bike well enough? (both in terms of plain biking skills, and in terms of traffic awareness)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How should minor accidents be handled? (flat tire)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How should major accidents or injuries be handled?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will the child travel alone? (siblings, classmates, known adults)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can the child contact me if needed? (cell phone)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/254/what-can-a-child-do-to-convince-his-parents-that-s-he-is-capable-of-taking-public/257#257&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; which basically says, let the child lead &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; to school and see if you feel okay. You can also try to distract the child and see how that goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T13:02:45.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="364" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="390" CreationDate="2011-03-31T12:58:55.280" Score="11" ViewCount="1038" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our breast-fed son occasionally has poops that are greenish.  These tend to stain his clothe diapers.  What is the best way to get stains out without compromising the ability of the diaper to do its job?  I remember hearing somewhere that you shouldn't bleach diapers, although I don't remember the reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="161" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:06:26.663" LastActivityDate="2012-07-18T04:11:33.630" Title="How do you remove stains from cloth diapers?" Tags="|cleaning|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="335" CreationDate="2011-03-31T13:16:26.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This site has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mybabycantalk.com/content/dictionary/dictionaryofsigns.aspx?letter=A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;video dictionery&lt;/a&gt; of ASL signs, but no direction on which ones to start with. I recommend starting with the word &quot;more&quot;/&quot;again&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T13:16:26.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="358" CreationDate="2011-03-31T13:20:06.387" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;That is a really difficult question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Easy answer is that it really depends on your child. :) Yeah, I guess you never thought of that, right? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking... For a kid, there is no real difference between putting him into a bed, or something else. He will nevertheless cry because he isn't sleeping with his parents anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the answers here somewhere had a really good suggestion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to develop a routine. Like this: Shower / bath, washing teeth, reading a story, and staying with him, until he falls asleep. The staying part is only necessary for the first few times, so he can at least feel that you are with him for now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that you can gradually get further away so to speak. Until you just stay there for a few moments, after reading the story, then you kiss him goodbye and tell him that you won't leave the house. You are just going showering or something. Let him hear for a while that you are there. Or read a book in his room or whatever. Just let him know that you are still there, he is not alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And after a while you can skip that too. You will feel when. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the when and what signs... I really don't have a good answer for that, I'm sorry. :( &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally I would say around 1 yo he should be sleeping in his own bed. The signs? There won't be any since a child will always love to sleep with his parents. And if you don't get him out, he will sleep with you even when he is a 5-year-old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the hard part of parenting. A child will never ever learn anything when you don't make him / let him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this could help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-14T14:56:21.440" LastActivityDate="2018-07-14T14:56:21.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="335" CreationDate="2011-03-31T13:30:34.973" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.signingtime.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Signing Time&lt;/a&gt; DVDs for our children and it's great. They have Baby Signing Time (which our toddler grew out of pretty quickly), and then just regular Signing Time. A 20-minute DVD is part of our 2-year-old's every-day morning routine, and she loves it. She doesn't think she's learning, she just likes to do Signing Time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our local library has quite of few of these DVDs, so we haven't had to buy any--we just cycle through. They are available for purchase online though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also use the video dictionaries at &lt;a href=&quot;http://aslpro.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;aslpro.com&lt;/a&gt; a lot, but this is more to help you help your child than to help your child directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T13:30:34.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="189" CreationDate="2011-03-31T14:04:03.070" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son loves &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com.ar/search?rlz=1C1_____enAR422AR422&amp;amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;amp;q=pocoyo%20youtube&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pocoyo&lt;/a&gt;, and you can find the episodes on youtube in multiple languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I don't know if you have BabyTv where you live, but &quot;manny a la obra&quot; is about a boy that fixes stuff with talking tools and alternates between talking in English and Spanish in every episode.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="51" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T14:04:03.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="369" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="373" CreationDate="2011-03-31T15:25:37.070" Score="24" ViewCount="39013" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5-year-old son has this weird fascination with electrical outlets and power bars. I tried telling him that it's dangerous (he understands and can identify dangerous objects and situations, and usually surrenders them to a parent), and I've tried giving him warnings, corner-time, and time-outs if he does end up, say, flipping a power-bar switch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he keeps doing it, and I'm not sure how to dissuade him from it. I obviously want to avoid any situation that may lead to electrocution; I even found a book about some turtle who interacts in various dangerous situations and gets harmed (including one scene where he plays with a lamp plug, gets electrocuted, and taken to hospital) -- but again, the behaviour is still persisting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I curb this to prevent the unfortunate, seemingly inevitable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="151" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-06-19T12:11:55.353" LastActivityDate="2019-06-19T12:11:55.353" Title="How can I stop my toddler from playing with electrical outlets and plugs?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|safety|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="345" CreationDate="2011-03-31T15:30:41.873" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bocce or bowls, similar sports whose popularity depend on where you live, are pretty intuitive even for children. This may not be a good idea if you're trying to use this to replace your scheduled exercise routine, though!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T15:30:41.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="335" CreationDate="2011-03-31T15:38:08.030" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used signs from around 6 months. They are from a community course and are baby-suitable adaptations of the German signing language.  Here are the ones we use most, in the order in which we introduced them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Milk: hold a hand in the thumbs-up gesture and then open and close the four fingers several times. This looks like grabbing the bottle. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More: hold one hand in front of you with straight fingers and let the palm face upwards, then point to the palm with the other hand. This means &quot;put more on my plate&quot; even when there is no plate. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diapers: with both hands and straight fingers, tap your pelvis as if you pat your pockets. This resembles closing the diaper (if the diaper has velcro tape closings).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tired, sleep: lean your head sideways and rest it on the palm of your flat hand. This looks like putting your head on a pillow (even though babies don't have pillows).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wash: make fists and rub your chest and tummy, as if you're in the bathtub using a sponge. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might help you get started. I guess most babies won't manage more than that anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-04-01T12:23:09.187" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T12:23:09.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="347" CreationDate="2011-03-31T15:58:17.383" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very serious. I would treat every apparent &quot;choke&quot; as real choking (as 9000 says). If it turned out to be fake after the fact, I think it would constitute some discipline. Basically your child is faking something that could kill them. I think some time out or whatever discipline you practice would be appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T15:58:17.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2011-03-31T16:02:55.457" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two general strategies I know of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Out of sight, out of mind&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Try to make the outlets and power-bars inaccessible. Move them out of sight, use coverlets to prevent the sockets from being exposed, hide them where the toddler can't reach them. This will likely not prevent eventual contact, but it might prevent it for long enough. Get power bars which are too complicated for children to operate - such as ones which come with electronic timers and off switches. Use plastic plugs and covers on all outlets in the house, ensuring nothing can be put into them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Surrender - Embrace the fascination&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Teach your kid how to handle the devices safely. Use simple words and exaggerated facial and body language, and show him exactly which parts are dangerous. If you can, show him exactly why they are dangerous - relying on a book maybe too abstract for him at this young age. If possible, have him follow along with your proper handling procedures, on a toy, as you do them with a real device next to him. Go through the explanations several times in a row  (6), and repeat them, daily, for several days. Refresh the explanation regularly after that, such as, for example, on every occasion that you are handling a power bar near him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T16:02:55.457" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="275" CreationDate="2011-03-31T16:33:55.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just be consistent. And be strict about your consistency. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like afrasier said &quot;If those books are off limits, then they're &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; off limits. Not sometimes, whenever you're feeling up to dealing with it. &lt;strong&gt;Always&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T16:33:55.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="335" CreationDate="2011-03-31T16:49:33.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter learned many signs on her own by looking at children's board books that showed the signs.  Sometimes we would read the books with her and show her the sign and point to the picture on the page, but most of it she picked up on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just went to our library and got a few books in the board-books section that dealt with baby signs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some of them on Amazon:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/006009074X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;My first baby signs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0060090766&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby signs for bedtime&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B003BVK4U6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby signs for mealtime&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These aren't really resources for parents to learn the signs - they are meant for the babies - I couldn't tell if that is what you wanted from your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure kids learn in different ways, so what worked for our kid may not work the same for everyone else...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T16:49:33.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="335" CreationDate="2011-03-31T16:50:11.807" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found a book (not sure how widely available) called, not surprisingly, &quot;Baby Sign Language, A Practical Guide to Signing with your Baby&quot; by Alison Mackonochie published in 2008 by Parragon that I would recommend.  It has big photos of how to do a fairly comprehensive list of signs.  We have tried to teach our son some practical signs as well as some fun signs of things he enjoys so that he is motivated.  We started with &quot;More&quot; and &quot;All Done&quot; as well as &quot;Cat&quot; and &quot;Dog&quot; for our family animals that he always seems tickled to see.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="164" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T16:50:11.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2011-03-31T16:54:38.603" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While your child understands the dangerous components; my guess is that he does not understand the severity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is difficult to convey to a child. The way which has worked for me in these types of situations is to tell my 3 year old that daddy and mommy would be sad. Attempt to convey emotions which would surface should they get hurt. State that you could get hurt so severely that mommy and daddy would cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't convey fear...convey emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T16:54:38.603" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="345" CreationDate="2011-03-31T16:54:58.243" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Jogging with a jogging stroller is appropriate from about 6 months on up.  Our 9 month old loves to just get out of the house and see the sites go by, and his stroller has a see-through plastic &quot;bubble&quot; that can roll out if it's going to be chilly with the wind on him, since he's not actually working as hard as mom or dad.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="164" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T16:54:58.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="379" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="404" CreationDate="2011-03-31T17:19:24.987" Score="39" ViewCount="38469" Body="&lt;p&gt;What can I do if other children pick on my children? Obviously I can't perform any disciplinary actions. Reprimanding might make my child look like a &quot;mama's boy&quot; and doing nothing might look like a betrayal of trust to my children. Additionally any of these possible actions might lead to full blown mobbing in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can be done in such difficult situations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="159" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-19T09:30:53.963" LastActivityDate="2020-09-29T21:27:09.583" Title="How to respond if my child is picked on by other children?" Tags="|discipline|education|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="380" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-03-31T17:21:48.767" Score="11" ViewCount="1836" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am interested in developing social intelligence in my child.  What behaviors have parents introduced into their daily family routine specifically to encourage the development of social intelligence?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="164" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-05-20T07:35:02.490" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T23:05:30.053" Title="How can I help my child develop social intelligence?" Tags="|social-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="381" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="385" CreationDate="2011-03-31T17:21:50.823" Score="12" ViewCount="4863" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old daughter desperately wants to go to &quot;big kids&quot; school like her big sister.  She's currently in preschool now and seems to enjoy it.  She's bright enough that she should pass all the educational requirements for entering kindergarten (recognize letters &amp;amp; numbers, count to 20, colors, etc.).  She also seems to be emotionally mature enough, and holds her own with her peers and when in larger groups of children where she's the youngest participant.  However, she's not old enough according to the standard guidelines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been waffling back and forth on whether or not to send her to Kindergarten early.  On one hand, she seems ready in every way and would thrive.  On the other, I don't want her struggling or getting left out/behind because everyone else is at least 6 months older than her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming we can get her enrolled, what other factors should be taken into account when evaluating school-readiness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update: Apr-2015&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the intervening 4 years since I wrote this, here's how things ended up going.  We had quite a bit of difficulty getting the requirements for early registration from the school and couldn't make the deadline, so she ended up starting school the next year after turning 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Socially she's thriving with a lot of friends and involved in activities.  Academically she's in the school's QUEST program for gifted students.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately our daughter would have thrived whether she went early or on time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly enough, our youngest is now 4 and we were possibly facing the same dilemma again.  This time, the school administration required that we have our child take a particular battery of tests on our own dime (which I have no problem with), but can't point us to a provider -- nor are we able to find one on our own.  However, we've realized that he's still got a bit of &quot;growing up&quot; to do yet, so waiting is definitely the best decision for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="95" LastEditDate="2015-04-23T14:01:52.827" LastActivityDate="2015-04-23T14:01:52.827" Title="Should I send my child to Kindergarten early?" Tags="|age-appropriate|school|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="382" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="406" CreationDate="2011-03-31T17:27:28.200" Score="12" ViewCount="1307" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're not dealing with teenagers yet but I would really like to avoid this kind of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.courant.com/news/breaking/sns-viral-video-teen-freaks-out,0,292516.htmlstory&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;outburst&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How have parents with teenagers been able to find/establish a balance for their children to not be so dependent and obsessive about something you think takes up too much of their time (e.g. Internet, video games, reading - yes, my cousin loved to read so much he refused to sleep)? I'd like to know what is more effective, rolling with the punches or establishing &quot;ground-rules&quot; before teenage years? Sometimes I think if the rules are too much, it's more reason for them to rebel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:10:07.847" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T20:58:27.493" Title="How do you moderate a teenager's obsessive or excessive behavior?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="381" CreationDate="2011-03-31T17:30:58.090" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was sent through school early as a child, although currently the trend seems to be to hold your child back.  It seems the critical factor to evaluate is emotional readiness.  I loved going through school young (one year) and was academically and socially able to thrive.  The current thought is that it creates social challenges for emotionally less mature kids, as you mention.  I think you have to know your child and trust your gut, and sometimes ignore the popular trend.  I would send my child through early if I felt he were ready emotionally and academically come school time (he's an infant now) despite the current trends.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="164" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T17:30:58.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="381" CreationDate="2011-03-31T17:57:42.747" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Peer pressure&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly believe that if the child is ready emotionally &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; intellectually, you should not hold them back as they need to be challenged to maintain their growing. I skipped a grade and was 4 years old at first grade. Since then, NJ and many of the states upped the grade to be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cga.ct.gov/2002/rpt/2002-R-0042.htm&quot;&gt;5 for KINDERGARDEN&lt;/a&gt; - which I don't understand. I think kids need the atmosphere of discipline and be engaged in social behavior as soon and as much as possible to prepare them to integrate into our society as an adult. Kids are yearning for knowledge when they are young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I was a whole year younger than my peers. Sure there was peer pressure, but I never did drugs or consume alcohol underage. I never even got a fake ID. I just wasn't in to it and that was ME. Every child is different, see below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sports&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband on the other hand was deliberately &quot;held back&quot; a year by his parents so that he would be more mature for the kids his grade. This is one of the justifications if you are hoping your kids will get into sports. He has always been very mature and turned out to be really great in athletics. When you are older, you are more mature, bigger, taller, and stronger than the other kids which helps give you an edge. He also never did drugs but he did partake in underage drinking. He would talk his teachers' ears off in grade school. He enjoyed conversing with adults more than his peers probably because he was older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OVERALL&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that is great that you even have a decision to make here. Every child is different. If you want to maintain their social level, there are other ways to challenge them intellectually such as after-school programs. Many colleges offer courses (look into non-credit programs) that don't care about your age if you are finding that your child's current education is not stimulating enough. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would look into whether or not there are options for them to skip a grade later that maybe you can fall back on. Some counties separate grade school from middle school physically so it might be easier to &quot;leave friends behind&quot; when you have to go to a totally different building for the higher grades and not see them every day in the hallways. They can hang out after school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="68" LastEditDate="2011-03-31T18:10:00.613" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T18:10:00.613" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="380" CreationDate="2011-03-31T17:59:03.400" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've tried to work on this with emotional intelligence: helping my kids understand what they and other people are feeling. Other than that, I try to have them interact with a wide range of different age groups and participate in group activities like sports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T17:59:03.400" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="379" CreationDate="2011-03-31T18:21:57.970" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to the other parents about it. They are ultimately liable for the actions of their (very young) children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they don't see it as a problem, or (more likely) are not willing to take action, it's up to you to do whatever you can. Solutions that may work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoiding the situation entirely (not always desirable or possible)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teaching your child to run/report to you if they start getting bullied&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teaching your child to defend themselves (may worsen the situation in the short-term)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Monitoring your child heavily and preventing the bully from bullying them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bullies (especially older ones) generally go for &quot;easy pickings&quot;, so showing some back-bone may be a prudent long-term solution. Just be prepared for some tears and cat-fights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend (and myself practice) avoiding the situation entirely, or, if possible, keeping a close eye on your kid when bullies are around. You can yourself prevent bully actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="151" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-04-01T05:42:25.780" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T05:42:25.780" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="388" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="389" CreationDate="2011-03-31T18:22:13.070" Score="25" ViewCount="161717" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since my wife is pregnant, I've been sleeping a lot more. I feel tired much much earlier (around 9~10 instead of midnight).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a documented known reaction? I've heard of/seen men gain weight, but not of this tiredness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="27" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:13:14.277" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T07:40:16.787" Title="Is it normal for a husband to sleep significantly more while his wife is pregnant?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="388" CreationDate="2011-03-31T18:27:12.260" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is documented, and is known as &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Couvade_syndrome&quot;&gt;Couvade syndrome&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Couvade syndrome, also called sympathetic pregnancy, is a proposed &lt;strong&gt;condition in which a partner experiences some of the same symptoms and behavior of an expectant mother.&lt;/strong&gt; These most often include minor weight gain, altered hormone levels, morning nausea, and disturbed sleep patterns. In more extreme cases, symptoms can include labor pains, postpartum depression, and nosebleeds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Wikipedia article has some interesting information and links to additional reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="146" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-09-19T12:25:21.167" LastActivityDate="2013-09-19T12:25:21.167" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="364" CreationDate="2011-03-31T19:00:14.050" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bleach is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diaperjungle.com/washing-cloth-diapers.html&quot;&gt;really harsh&lt;/a&gt; on cloth diapers and sure your diapers will be &quot;germ free&quot; but bleach can really hinder the absorbency of the fibers because it can degrade them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most common and effective way people try to remove the stains from cloth diapers is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/314747/cloth_diapers_safe_stain_removal.html?cat=25&quot;&gt;sunning&lt;/a&gt; them to dry. The sun acts as a natural bleach. That site talks about adding lemon juice, hydrogen peroxide, and vinegar to your laundry cycle. If you have a really a sunny day coming up, I'd try the sun first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T19:00:14.050" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="335" CreationDate="2011-03-31T19:15:07.047" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used and can highly recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.singandsign.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sing &amp;amp; Sign&lt;/a&gt; DVD's - my son loved it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the U.K. there are also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.singandsign.com/classes/index.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;group meetings&lt;/a&gt; and an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.singandsign.com/members/whatisit.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;online resource&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Sing and Sign's original and unique&#xA;  approach has revolutionised baby&#xA;  signing in this country. Everyone&#xA;  knows nursery rhymes and action songs&#xA;  are great fun and musical activities&#xA;  help stimulate language development.&#xA;  Sing and Sign combines the benefits of&#xA;  both music &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; baby signing.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T19:15:07.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="379" CreationDate="2011-03-31T19:16:08.740" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This response is geared towards younger children, say under 9 or 10 years old.  The situation for teenagers is very different I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely talk to the other parents if that is an option.  If its not an option (for example, if you child is picked on at school) definitely talk to the teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also want to give your child a way to stand up for themselves, and that doesn't mean fighting.  Teach them to tell the other kids what they are feeling.  &quot;I don't like what you're doing.&quot;  &quot;What you said hurts my feelings&quot;  Sometimes that is enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your child that if these steps don't work, it is time to walk away from the situation and tell an adult (parent or teacher).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If You Witness The Bullying&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First give your child a chance to respond, but feel free to intervene if things aren't going well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want to get both children and take turns explaining the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask each child what happened.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the children why they did what they did, and how they feel if that is done to them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have each child apologize for their wrongs, and make up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If The Bullying Occurs When You Aren't Around&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to communicate with your child's caregiver so they will be equipped to notice the bullying and deal with it.  And you need your child to know to tell them when things get out of hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T19:16:08.740" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="358" CreationDate="2011-03-31T19:40:30.613" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to see how to do this in a gradual way. He's either sleeping in your bed or not. Not much gradual about it. Everyone agrees that consistency is the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for ways of doing it, and hints of how to help, the answers to my question might be useful: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/127/how-can-i-get-my-12-month-baby-to-sleep-in-her-bed&quot;&gt;How can I get my 12-month baby to sleep in her bed?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T19:40:30.613" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="353" CreationDate="2011-03-31T20:20:37.200" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm approaching this from the &quot;what could possibly go wrong?&quot; side of the matter, as I think a child getting into trouble on the way to school is unlikely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Traffic safety. A nine-year-old should already know how to cross a street safely. You can practice it with them and watch how they do it, both on foot and by bike.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting lost. Once again, a nine-year-old should know the way to school and back. The question is what happens when they decide to get adventurous. In that case, teach them what to do in the event they get lost. Approach police/any adult in public, go into a shop to ask, follow their steps back to where they came form until they know where they are, call home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting bullied. This could happen, but is very specific to the child's social situation, and there is no real rule of thumb.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting kidnapped/molested/murdered/whatever. Honestly, the odds of this are about the same as being struck by lightning. I truly believe that people panic over this too quickly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, 25 years ago, we all walked to school. I started when I was 6.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-04-05T12:47:20.957" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T12:47:20.957" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="380" CreationDate="2011-03-31T20:23:18.807" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think a daily family supper is a good idea. It's an opportunity for everyone to talk about their day, and how they feel that evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Listening, and empathizing, as well as thinking about it and commenting should be a start towards what you're looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastEditorUserId="18" LastEditDate="2011-05-22T15:54:09.310" LastActivityDate="2011-05-22T15:54:09.310" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="379" CreationDate="2011-03-31T20:55:33.920" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the bullying is happening at a school or a place where someone else has the duty of care for your child, then in many countries they have to take a zero-tolerance policy on bullying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As someone who was bullied a lot at high school, at a school that allegedly had a zero-tolerance policy, I can state that most of the time their policies were quite useless. Only after I was given a concussion in view of a senior teacher at the school did anything positive actually happen. I suspect however if my parents had been involved in the process, things might have happened sooner/faster/better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, you have to start somewhere, and if it's happening at a school, trying to get them to step in can work. Especially if your child has a good relationship with a teacher at the school, perhaps you can talk to them about it, as they may be able to put more pressure on the people in charge to do something about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="76" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T20:55:33.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2011-03-31T21:36:04.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children live in a dangerous world, and removing the dangerous bits is not sufficient.  You may have control over your surroundings, but a child is often placed in other surroundings.  You need a solution that keeps them safe wherever they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're talking about something that can endanger the child's life.  You need to do something that is different that what you do for misbehavior.  There should be no levels of escalation, no warning.  The reaction should be loud, immediate, and shocking.  It should be enough to ensure it does not happen again.  It should scare the child.  The reaction should fit the situation.  The situation here is life and death.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T21:36:04.337" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="399" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="413" CreationDate="2011-03-31T21:49:36.767" Score="31" ViewCount="5654" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a young parent, and still have a lot to learn, but I have been wondering a lot about whether punishment needs to be a part of parenting. Maybe I'm being too optimistic here, but are there any cultures where child punishment is not widespread? Have any parents tried 'no-punishment' with any degree of success/failure?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that a downside of using punishment as a way to encourage a behavior is that they may find it harder to grasp the real reason that that behavior is deemed 'good'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What actions do you feel require punishment? Will I become afraid of the uncertainty/effectiveness of reinforcing reasonable (logical or emotional) explanations, while knowing that punishment is a tried and true method for deterrence or rehabilitation, and ultimately resort to it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="146" LastEditorUserId="1599" LastEditDate="2013-11-01T22:43:16.940" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T09:08:47.617" Title="Is punishment necessary?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="379" CreationDate="2011-03-31T21:58:23.663" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We all want to protect our children, and on some level we can. But on another level, we can't shelter our kids from all situations where they may be bullied or picked on, and if we try we risk smothering their own sense of individual worth and growth.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you know your child is being bullied in a situation outside your control, I'd certainly recommend addressing the issue with those in whose control the situation is (at least ostensibly). However, I'd also have a thorough discussion of it with your child. As someone who was picked on quite a lot in grade school, I've been there (although &quot;there&quot; will be different for every child). Stress to your child that childhood is not forever. Grade school/junior high/high school are not forever, and when it's over, the general populace usually manages to behave at least marginally responsibly. For a young child this may not immediately help, since life after school is so far away as to be almost completely irrelevant. But it will help to reaffirm to your child their worth to you, and to help them remember or find their own sense of worth. I'm trying to get ready (my baby is only 6 months old) to be able to help him find his own sense of worth as soon as possible for this very reason. It took a while (the ages of 11 to 14 were not a good time in my life for the most part), but as I established a sense of who I was and that the people making fun of me didn't matter, life became better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it may not hurt to teach your child the basics of self defense if they are old enough. Along with this should also be taught the idea that violence isn't (often) the right answer, but that when they are threatened with physical harm, it would make me feel a whole lot better to know that my son could handle himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say this not because I think that kids should get used to being bullied or picked on, or because I think that dishing out vigilante justice to their oppressors will make anything better, but because most of our children will at some point in their developmental years be in this situation, and knowing that they have individual worth goes a long way to helping them ignore it or rise above it. And in the case that ignoring it isn't possible, defending themselves will have to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T21:58:23.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="399" CreationDate="2011-03-31T22:05:25.030" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really don't like the word &lt;strong&gt;punishment&lt;/strong&gt;. It signals that the aim is harm/hurt your child. I like the word &lt;strong&gt;consequence&lt;/strong&gt; a lot better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child must learn that there are consequences to every they do, good and bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's an important lesson as they need to know they can't just do how they please, not as kids and not as grown ups. Trying to avoid a consequences that are bad for them won't help them much, and can in the long run make them independent too early. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user75" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T22:05:25.030" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="399" CreationDate="2011-03-31T22:06:47.197" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my years working with kids (volunteering at a couple of schools, helping to run a drug abuse prevention program, running an extracurricular program) I've met &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt; parents who tried the no-punishment thing, all of which had the following results:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child disobeyed the parent whenever he/she felt like it, even when doing so put the child in danger.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child had serious behavior problems at school, because he/she didn't understand why actions suddenly had consequences (a concept totally foreign to the child).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child did not have a sense of responsibility.  He/she didn't do good things because it was the right thing to do, but when there was something in it for him/her.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child threw a fit whenever he/she didn't get his/her own way.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child was very insecure, because he/she didn't have a good sense of when he/she was doing right or wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child was able to have &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; less freedom than children whose parents disciplined with tangible punishments, because he/she couldn't be trusted to make the right choices and stay safe.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child grew up with a sense of moral relativism (i.e. there is no right and wrong, just what you feel is right or wrong)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These kids got into a lot of trouble, performed poorly in school, and had trouble making friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T22:06:47.197" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2011-03-31T22:24:23.413" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have a better answer than the others for preventing younger children from touching electrical plugs, but I do know what helped curb any further play for us at age 4 - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I felt our child had sufficient coordination, I walked him through the proper way to plug in / unplug electrical plugs, using an unplugged outlet strip for safe practice. For American plugs, at least, the safe method is gripping the plug firmly in your fist, making certain no fingers are extended past the front. After I was confident he had that I let him occasionally be a helper - plug in the Christmas lights, for instance, or unplug the vacuum to plug it in in another room. This ensured that he knew the safe way to handle electrical plugs and got any desire to play with them out of his system, because they moved from forbidden play item to chore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this is only appropriate when your child has enough coordination to handle them safely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T22:24:23.413" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="379" CreationDate="2011-03-31T22:37:21.040" Score="31" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach your child not to be an easy target.  Bullies go for easy prey, someone with confident body language, who can tell the bully to &quot;knock it off&quot; in a firm voice, etc. is a less likely target.  Also, being with a group of friends whenever possible is another good strategy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach your child to defend him/her self and others when needed.  Tattling on a bully just teaches them to not get caught, and they may not give your child the chance to tattle before harm is done.  &lt;em&gt;Every&lt;/em&gt; living thing has the right to defend itself.  Additionally, martial arts classes can help your child develop the confidence that will help him or her not be a target to begin with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: some schools have adopted a &quot;no tolerance&quot; policy such that a child who defends him/her self from a physical attack receives the same punishment as his/her attacker.  It's hard to do, but prepare your child for this possibility and make sure they know you'd prefer to stand by them through a suspension than have them hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If this is happening when you are around, just be observant.  Most bullies don't want to be caught by adults.  It is NOT wrong to step in if you see a child bullying others.  Correct the child in a loud, firm voice.  Their parent &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; step in, but if they don't want to, embarrassing them will usually do the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is happening at the school, make sure the school knows about it, and that you will &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; accept taking privileges away from your child in the name of avoidance as a solution.  The easiest thing for the school to do is to keep your child away from the bully -- but this rewards the bully (with a sense of power over your child) and teaches your child that he/she is the one who is wrong.  The &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; answer is to change the bully's behavior or remove the bully from the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure your child has a number of healthy friendships.  Especially if the group he/she is with at school is a problem, let him/her try different sports or hobbies with other kids until he/she slides into a comfortable social group.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember: the worst part of bullying has nothing to do with harsh words or hard fists.  It's about powerlessness, lack of confidence in one's own worth, and isolation.  You combat that by giving your child power over the situation, and good friends he/she shares common interests with, and opportunities to build confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T22:37:21.040" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="345" CreationDate="2011-03-31T22:44:23.340" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;From about age 4 and up, my top recommendation is martial arts study.  In addition to being a great work-out, it teaches a useful skill and instills confidence, a sense of responsibility, and many other great traits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From birth up, swimming is another great, active way to spend time together.  There's something to do in the pool at any age, and it's a great work-out for all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can afford a decent GPS, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.geocaching.com/&quot;&gt;geocaching&lt;/a&gt; is a great outdoor game for the whole family.  My son was four when we started, and now at eight he loves hiking and wants to start doing some longer backpacking trips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T22:44:23.340" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="382" CreationDate="2011-03-31T23:05:25.413" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, have a good reason for thinking something is being done &quot;too much&quot;.  It's easy to over-react.  When I was a kid, my folks took a lot of guff from other adults for letting me &quot;play on the computer&quot; so much.  I started programming when I was six and now make a career of it.  Think about:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What effect is the activity having on your child?  Is it causing him/her to miss out on more important things, or impairing his/her ability to do well in school?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is the activity productive in some way?  There's a huge difference between playing games and learning to code, between goofing off reading webcomics and surfing for ways to make your own drawing better, and so on.  Productive activity is by nature more valuable than unproductive activity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Why is the activity so important to your child?  Escapism is concerning.  Getting a sense of accomplishment from &quot;fake&quot; activity like an MMORPG is concerning.  Developing a skill (even one without obvious practical value) and real achievements are good.  (Of course there are many other good reasons to do things, I'm talking specifically about good reasons to do something in what others my see as excess.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If something really is a problem, don't force your teen to quit (that will likely backfire).  Instead, supplant it with another activity that your teen can get excited about and will get more from.  You may have to get him/her to try many different ones until something sticks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-03-31T23:05:25.413" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="399" CreationDate="2011-04-01T03:29:41.707" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I hear the word &lt;strong&gt;punishment&lt;/strong&gt;, I think of a referee--they make a call and assign a penalty. Often the calls are subjective and inconsistent--how many of us can watch an entire basketball game or world cup football match without losing a bit of patience with the refs?!?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, when I hear the word &lt;strong&gt;discipline&lt;/strong&gt;, I think of a coach or a teacher--they are on my team, helping me be my best. They understand and are sympathetic of my weaknesses, and they are going to work with me to overcome them. It's not easy for either of us, but together we can do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking at it in that light, I think we as parents need to focus much more on teaching and disciplining our children than punishing our children. Penalties may be a part of the learning experience, but we need to make sure the penalty is guiding the child's learning process, not taking out our frustration or exasperation on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I really like googletorp's point about consequences. Part of learning discipline is learning that you have the freedom to make choices, but you do not have the freedom to select the consequences of your choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T03:29:41.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="399" CreationDate="2011-04-01T04:04:09.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Punishment and Discipline is absolutely necesary for a child to grow up healthy and well balanced. The type of punishment, however, varies greatly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When considering what type of discipline to use there are a lot of things to take into consideration, such as the child's behavior and what the offense was.  Sometimes doing something as simple as redirecting the child can stop the child from doing what they are not supposed to be doing. Sometimes time out works great in some situations, and (even though it is looked down upon by many people) spanking is also a form of very useful punishment, as long as it isn't abused or used all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever form of punishment you use, you do not want to focus on punishment so much that you do not reward and encourage good behavior. Josh Mcdowell said a quote I fully agree with, which is if you do not reward and openly recognize when your child does something right, you have lost the right to punish the child for doing something wrong. The more you encourage good behavior (especially in older children) the less often the child needs to be punished, but that punishment must be there for correction and consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastEditorUserId="42" LastEditDate="2011-04-01T04:17:53.037" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T04:17:53.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="410" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="421" CreationDate="2011-04-01T04:35:48.157" Score="20" ViewCount="2811" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is now at the age where we let him watch a moderate amount of children's videos to entertain himself -- all firmly G rated stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have also been allowing him to watch some recent animated features such as Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (PG) and Megamind (PG) and the Incredibles (PG), with mild levels of cartoon / action violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also rented some classic &quot;Looney Tunes&quot; and &quot;Tom and Jerry&quot; cartoons, remembering how much I enjoyed them as a child. But after auditioning a few, I was kind of shocked how much actual, real cartoon violence they contain, and I &lt;em&gt;quickly&lt;/em&gt; backed off those. You see where Groening got his inspiration for the Itchy and Scratchy parody from, it's shocking how violent old cartoons really are!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/IVDsU.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, even at the &lt;strong&gt;MPAA PG&lt;/strong&gt; level, I am worried that I might be exposing my son to too much cartoon violence, and I am concerned what effects it might have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be concerned? Is there any research documenting the effect on children in the 2-4 year age range of watching a moderate amount of G-rated children's videos versus a moderate amount of PG-rated children's videos? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note that I am not asking for the effect of &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; video, just how risky is it, per any published research on the matter, to deviate from moderate amounts of children's videos at G versus PG)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:13:53.683" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T13:04:11.447" Title="Is there any research on the effects of PG cartoon violence on small children?" Tags="|violence|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-04-01T04:56:31.987" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try a little &quot;cry it out&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At about nine months, we figured it was time for baby to learn how to sleep through the night. So rather than rushing in to comfort baby immediately, we'd wait 5 minutes after our baby began crying, then go in and comfort baby and let baby know Mom and Dad are there, then leave. Next time it happens, wait 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, then 20 minutes, and keep regularly incrementing the time you are away between comfort visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is tough hearing your baby cry, and that first &quot;cry it out&quot; cycle can be excruciating. But it's also very important for baby (and parents...) to learn that he can put himself back to sleep just fine!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did this for our baby at about nine months and within &lt;em&gt;two days&lt;/em&gt; he went from waking up 3-4 times a night, to sleeping through the night all by himself (mostly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was a big difference!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T04:56:31.987" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="307" CreationDate="2011-04-01T04:59:56.320" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is some research to support baby talk for &lt;em&gt;babies&lt;/em&gt;, at least:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cmu.edu/PR/releases05/050315_babytalk.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cmu.edu/PR/releases05/050315_babytalk.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adults may feel silly when they talk to babies, but those babies will learn to speak sooner if adults talk to them like infants instead of like other adults, according to a study by Carnegie Mellon University Psychology Professor Erik Thiessen published in the March issue of the journal Infancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most adults speak to infants using so-called infant-directed speech: short, simple sentences coupled with higher pitch and exaggerated intonation. Researchers have long known that babies prefer to be spoken to in this manner. But Thiessen's research has revealed that infant-directed speech also helps infants learn words more quickly than normal adult speech. In a series of experiments, he and his colleagues exposed 8-month-old infants to fluent speech made up of nonsense words. The researchers assessed whether, after listening to the fluent speech for less than two minutes, infants had been able to learn the words. &lt;strong&gt;The infants who were exposed to fluent speech with the exaggerated intonation contour characteristic of infant-directed speech learned to identify the words more quickly than infants who heard fluent speech spoken in a more monotone fashion.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psy.cmu.edu/faculty/thiessen/ThiessenHillSaffran.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;PDF of the research study, &amp;quot;Infant-Directed Speech Facilitates&#xA;Word Segmentation&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T04:59:56.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="399" CreationDate="2011-04-01T05:09:55.427" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1118118/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1118118/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the only published review (in 1996) of child outcomes of non-abusive or customary physical punishment, only eight studies could disentangle the causal effects of smacking. All eight studies, including four randomised clinical trials, found that nonabusive smacking benefited children when it backed up milder disciplinary tactics with children aged 2 to 6 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eighteen studies in the 1996 review investigated alternative disciplinary tactics as well as smacking. Only grounding was more effective than smacking, in two studies of older children. In contrast, nine alternatives were associated with more detrimental outcomes in children than was smacking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the research I could find, it seems that some kind of reasonable punishments for misbehaving children (including physical punishment like &amp;quot;smacking&amp;quot;) are generally better than the alternatives. I think the point here is to use appropriate, fair punishments as the situation warrants with your child. The idea of no consequences for misbehavior definitely seems misguided to me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However there is also data to support the idea that &lt;em&gt;physical&lt;/em&gt; punishments can definitely become harmful as children get older, so be careful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/09/090915100953.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/09/090915100953.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using data collected in two longitudinal studies—one of almost 500 children who were followed from ages 5 to 16, the other of more than 250 children followed from ages 5 to 15—the researchers sought to answer questions of how discipline changes during childhood and adolescence, and whether there are factors within families and children that are associated with these changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They find that parents typically adjust the way they discipline their children in response to their children's growing cognitive abilities, using less physical discipline (spanking, slapping, hitting with an object) over time. As children grow older, physical discipline becomes less developmentally appropriate. However, when parents' use of physical discipline continues through childhood, by the time their children are teens, they're more likely to have behavior problems. &lt;strong&gt;Teens of parents who stop using physical discipline when their children are young are less likely to have these behavior problems.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T05:09:55.427" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="410" CreationDate="2011-04-01T05:26:22.720" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ohhh man! This is the oldest question in psychology. How violence affects our children. No matter what, like TV, or video games, or whatever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want some research material on this subject, just look at the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=how%20violence%20affects%20children&quot;&gt;Google results for how violence affects children&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now. Let me tell you an answer for this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was studying psychology I had tons of surveys dealing with this problem. But the end result is always the same. It's about YOU! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You as parent must CLEARLY define the boundries between reality and animation / tv / whatever. Clearly I'm not saying that you should let your child watch a Japanese animated blood and gore serious like Blood+ or Naruto. You just have to wait with that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he is gonna be fine if he watches a few looney toons. You turned out right too ain't ya? It is always the parents responsibility what the child gets from a cartoon!! Always! You will tell him what the moral is. You will tell him that he ain't supposed to hit his friends head with a hammer after that. You will have to tell him what the borders are between reality and the cartoon he just saw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is an old saying. Guns don't kill people. People kill people. This applies here too. He won't get agitated if you won't let him. It is the parents responsibility. Many of us don't think so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of us think that the tv should ban all this stuff. That the video game makers should ban violence. That what ever censorship should ban every violence. This is wrong. This is because they either failed as parents or are just plain lazy. These are the people who want the school to raise his child because they either work to hard, or just plain don't care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now don't get me wrong!! I'm not saying that the just should watch a horror movie right away!!!!! I'm saying that it wont hurt his ability to comprehend violence if you let him watch a Loony Toons movie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-01-17T13:04:11.447" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T13:04:11.447" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="415" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="424" CreationDate="2011-04-01T06:04:35.727" Score="10" ViewCount="2455" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our newborn arrives home, how do we introduce our two dogs to the child? We have two Shetland Sheepdogs and they are of course very friendly and loving. Despite this, it feels that in the beginning precautions are needed. Getting rid of the dogs is out of the question, they are part of the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="171" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:15:04.120" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T00:15:04.120" Title="How do we introduce a newborn to the family dogs?" Tags="|newborn|pets|dogs|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="382" CreationDate="2011-04-01T07:22:08.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way - provide alternative ways to spend free time. &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000W7JWUA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Play&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0007YDBLE&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;boardgames&lt;/a&gt;, get your kid to some hobby group, hang out somewhere in park, play sports etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T07:22:08.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="166" CreationDate="2011-04-01T07:34:36.353" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We went through something similar with our daughter and we tried the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keeping her sat up for a while after feeding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Infant gaviscon&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More winding (but avoid infacol/gripe water)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="129" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T07:34:36.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="399" CreationDate="2011-04-01T07:40:03.930" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I assume you mean &quot;punishment&quot; not as in &quot;corporal punishment&quot; (which is, as torbengb pointed out, illegal in many countries)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's very necessary as it is just an advanced form of the same basic learning steps a child experiences in its early years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the first years a child learns many things which boil down to manipulating their environment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I touch the rattle, it makes a sound.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I move my arms and legs I can move from one point of the room to another.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I put move the cup to my mouth, I can drink the water.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This experience can last a whole life. Later it'll get more complex like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I put the right codes into my computer, it does what I want.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I put the cables together the lightbulb lights.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I push the accelerator the car drives faster.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I hug my child it stops crying.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally &lt;strong&gt;the task of a parent/teacher is to provide a protected environment&lt;/strong&gt; to allow making all these experiences without letting negative outcomes harm the child/student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Moving the knife away when the infant tries to touch it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting the child back to the living room when it tries to crawl to the stairs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a child perspective these are frustrating experiences, they want something and they don't get it. Often it is hard to take away a beloved toy, but parents do it anyway because they know it is better in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later the distinction between what is good and bad gets blurred, mostly because cause and effect are no longer that close together. But in essence the situation has not changed. Children still want to make experiences in manipulating their environment, but now in many cases there are no immediate consequences, so it's up to the parents to provide artificial boundaries, to allow their children to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example if a child starts to lie, steal and cheat, because it learns that that gives an immediate advantage, most likely the consequences won't show until other people perform the &quot;punishment&quot;, either through social isolation, unemployment or even prison.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In such situations a good parent must step in and &quot;antedate&quot; the consequences in an alleviated manner.&lt;/strong&gt; That way a child can try to do all those negative things without bringing itself into much danger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One could say the literal playpen is transformed into a metaphorical playpen. The wooden boundaries are replaced with feedback from the parents.&#xA;From that perspective providing no discipline is the same thing as letting an infant play with a knife or letting a toddler fall down the stairs: It's irresponsible and can have disastrous repercussions and no good parent would allow that to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="159" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T07:40:03.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="380" CreationDate="2011-04-01T08:15:59.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking for activities to do in the family, and of course depending on the child's age, you might want to &lt;strong&gt;consider board games or garden games&lt;/strong&gt;. Many games are competitive (players play &lt;em&gt;against&lt;/em&gt; each other) but some games are cooperative instead, just like (the own team of) a ball game would be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish I could mention some specific suggestions but I can't think of any right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-19T18:18:54.377" LastActivityDate="2011-05-19T18:18:54.377" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="420" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-01T08:21:16.640" Score="23" ViewCount="14448" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can an 18 month old be taught that bullying is not ok? He seems to like causing the trouble it brings upon him, and bullying, mean acts also seem to please him. He likes to sit on his younger cousin (my son), push him down, and steal his toys. His parents seem to be at a loss about it, and I don't really have any good suggestions to give. Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="146" LastEditorUserId="807" LastEditDate="2011-06-24T15:30:36.820" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T21:41:50.387" Title="How can a young child be taught not to bully?" Tags="|toddler|social-development|bullying|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="410" CreationDate="2011-04-01T08:25:37.457" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some google-fu got me to the paper &lt;a href=&quot;http://geneseo.edu/~kirsh/vita/AVB360.pdf&quot;&gt;Cartoon violence and aggression in youth (pdf)&lt;/a&gt; from 2006:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Across the early and middle childhood, laboratory experiments&#xA;  using cartoons with comedic violence&#xA;  have consistently failed to&#xA;  demonstrate significant differences in&#xA;  person-oriented aggression. [...] Field&#xA;  experiments have consistently shown&#xA;  that aggressive behavior towards peers&#xA;  increases following the viewing of&#xA;  non-comedic violent cartoons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastEditorUserId="64" LastEditDate="2011-04-01T08:32:21.163" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T08:32:21.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="420" CreationDate="2011-04-01T08:31:55.807" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually bullying can be back referenced to bad parenting, or a bad experience the boy had.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe the father treats the mother like that? Or it can be that he didn't get to much attention. Or not enough love, not enough care, not enough softness. It is very ease to neglect a child without even noticing that you neglect him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also can be that he is jealous. Children don't do things based on genes or because they thought out that. Especially not if they are so young. Everything and i mean everything that a child does comes from observation in this early stage. He must have seen it somewhere or experienced it, or he is expressing a bad feeling an uneasiness, something that he don't like but can't quit figure out what it is and can't express himself otherwise either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he just wants some love some softness you must find that one out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to how to teach him to stop it? That's easy. TELL HIM TO STOP IT! :) And if he doesn't listen? Well there are a number of things: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carefully try to explain to him that what he is doing is wrong ( after you find out why he is doing it )&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That wont help of course because he is too young. So you have to give him a timeout. Don't punish him by showing him what he does is wrong by doing it to him. Or even hitting him or whatever. He wont understand it why you do it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A timeout is a good thing. Let him sit on a chair for 3 minutes. If he tries to get up, set him back on. And so forth. You are the parent, you have to establish that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, i hope this could help you. I know you probably mostly thought about this too, so i hope someone more experienced can help more maybe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gergely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T08:31:55.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="415" CreationDate="2011-04-01T08:46:31.580" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, you don't need ot worry about the dogs too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a home birth, and the dog was home the whole time. He mostly went and sat in the other room, and occasionally came in to see how my wife was doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the first week, he wouldn't agree to come too near the baby even though we called him. After that, he would occasionally come and sniff around her. He's licked her head once, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the dogs are part of the family, then you'll find that they know their place and won't interfere with the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T08:46:31.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="415" CreationDate="2011-04-01T10:15:47.033" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, I'm going to channel Cesar Millan here, bigtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be quite natural for the dogs to see the baby as a pup. Consequence of which is that the baby will have a lower ranking in your pack. The pack is basically what you call family, i.e. you, your partner, any other humans living in your house and any dogs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it is important that your dogs understand that they rank &lt;em&gt;below&lt;/em&gt; the baby. You can make this clear from a very early age (of the baby). There actually is an episode of Dog Whisperer where Cesar shows a family how to make their baby 'claim' certain spots, like a play-mat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While searching for that episode I actually found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikifido.com/page/Cesar%27s+Way%3a+Bringing+Home+Baby&quot;&gt;a great interview with Cesar about this question&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and enjoy your baby!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="112" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T10:15:47.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="425" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-01T10:24:24.110" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-04-01T10:24:24.110" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T10:24:24.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="426" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-01T10:24:24.110" Score="0" Body="Questions about parenting adopted children and about becoming an adoptive parent" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="59" LastEditDate="2011-04-03T17:18:26.850" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T17:18:26.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="427" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="428" CreationDate="2011-04-01T10:55:44.817" Score="15" ViewCount="9065" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two dogs and two cats, and our son loves to interact with them, but his form of interacting is not particularly enjoyable to the animals...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the things he does are just annoying, like picking up pieces of paper and putting it on the dogs. But at other times he pushes the animals off the backs of the sofa or counters, pulls their hair, and he loves to chase around the small dog who is afraid of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how do I teach my son to play nicely with the animals?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-08T00:53:06.700" LastActivityDate="2017-10-24T01:08:19.377" Title="How do I teach my toddler not to abuse animals?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|pets|dogs|animal-interaction|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="427" CreationDate="2011-04-01T11:40:15.277" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think just like you teach your dogs to play nice with other dogs or kids. I don't really see any other thing than just the generic methodology. Maybe you can spend some time with your child and the animals to show how it should be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he/she already knows how it 'should be done' and is testing limits, be very clear about what is and what is not nice behavior around animals. Be very &lt;em&gt;consistent&lt;/em&gt; about it. Make sure you explain why a behavior is unwanted, set a punishment and be sure to &lt;em&gt;follow through&lt;/em&gt; with that punishment if the behavior continues. Afterwards, ask your child why it was punished and explain again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final note: animals might even punish the child for its misbehavior. If that ever happens, try to make it a positive experience for the child by having the animal 'make up' to the child, for example by petting it together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="112" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T11:40:15.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="166" CreationDate="2011-04-01T12:03:47.517" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter had acid reflux and it was a disaster until we figured out what was going on.  We put her on daily meds (prevacid) and it improved her life and ours drastically.  It started before she was on food, and would spit up all the time.  We tried many types of bottles and nothing worked.  After she was on the prevacid, she drank so much more, was so much happier, and slept through the night.  She is now just over a year.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She had the flu a few weeks ago, and we switched to soy formula / soy milk just to be gentler on her stomach.  And then things got even better.  Kinda a fluke that we switched, but it made a difference.  We have kept her on the soy, and have been able to cut her reflux meds completely.  The Dr. thinks she just just a mild sensitivity to lactose, not intolerant, it was just hard for her to digest and it upset her stomach.  Her stools also went from soft to hard almost immediately.  We did a test, and went back to milk, and almost immediately, she had reflux and soft stools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in our case, it was not that she had bad reflux on her own, it was just made worse by the milk or lactose.  The Dr thinks she will certainly outgrow it and will never be an issue long term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="133" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T12:03:47.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="381" CreationDate="2011-04-01T12:15:56.803" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many arguments on either side.  I want to make one point however:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People argue that if they are held back, then they may feel bored once they get to school because they are not challenged enough.  If that is the case, then you may want to seek out better eduction or a different school.  Any good educator will challenge them, regardless of the level of the child compared to others in the grade.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This should not be related to if they were held back or not, good quality education will recognize the advanced students regardless of the age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="133" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T12:15:56.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="431" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-01T12:26:00.447" Score="13" ViewCount="5358" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two children, 3.5 and 1 years old.  My wife and I rarely go out on our own, I can count on one hand since the oldest was born.  We have never left them alone all night, they have always woken up to at least one of us in the morning.  We have the opportunity for great responsible and well trusted child care, both family and close friends.  They in fact ask to baby sit, and we usually say no thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are not the type of people that need regular date nights, we are closer than ever right now.  We certainly don't need or even want a weekly or monthly date.  But it would be nice to do it a little more often, more than about once a year.  We just can't get past the feeling of guilt to leave them.  We are talking about a weekend away, but we just can't pull the trigger.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do other parents deal with this struggle?  Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="133" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-10-08T14:12:52.043" LastActivityDate="2018-10-08T14:12:52.043" Title="How do you reduce feelings of guilt for leaving children for a date night?" Tags="|toddler|parents|babysitting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="431" CreationDate="2011-04-01T12:31:59.040" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Look on it as helping your children to learn to trust in other adults (which is important for their development). Also they learn that your absences in their lives are very temporary and that your return can be relied upon. These are two good lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you say that you have absolute confidence in the potential babysitters then you don't have anything to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, enjoy the night, and try not to spend the whole night talking about the little ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T12:31:59.040" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="431" CreationDate="2011-04-01T12:37:50.267" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great question. First off, you are very lucky to have close friends and family close by that you trust. My wife and I do not have anybody here so we actually have to rely on online baby sitting sites... talk about scary and feeling guilty...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The guilt will go away once you take a few date nights and you see that your children are okay with the person you have watching them. your trust will grow in that person and conffidence that the child will do great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would get several single dates under your belt first so you feel comfortable before doing a weekend getaway, mainly because if you don't then you will be so worried during the weekend getaway that it will really do you no good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realize that as parents you have to have time to get away to in order to releive stress, break away from the normal routine of everyday life, and recharge your batteries with your spuose. This can prevent unneeded stress in the relationship, short tempers, and other things that the child will notice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So bottom line, it is important for you and your spouse to go out regularly, and the more you do get away and see that your child is doing okay while you are away the more comfortable you will get with the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T12:37:50.267" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="431" CreationDate="2011-04-01T12:48:53.860" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to MasterZ I would like to stress that your kids need to trust the babysitter first! Even if the kids know the person who is babysitting, make sure they are comfortable around him/her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could start out by doing a short date, say, an extended evening walk (about two hours or something) so the children see you arrive. That will back up the babysitters claim that, really, honestly, mommy and daddy will be back ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that just go on progressively longer dates. The children, but most importantly &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; will get used to leaving them (the kids) at home in someone's care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="112" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T12:48:53.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="431" CreationDate="2011-04-01T14:52:44.673" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you discussed why you are feeling this way?  Do you think you will miss something or do you feel like you are &quot;abandoning&quot; them?  Maybe you can pin point a specific root for your feelings and take steps to insure you are comfortable when you leave them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on when their bedtime is, you could always help put the kids to bed while the babysitter is there, and then go our for a later dinner/date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At other times this might be a great opportunity for the kids to make a bond with a grandparent, aunt/uncle, family friend that will play/interact with them in a different way from the parents.  This can grow into a great relationship as they are getting older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, it is important to spend time alone with your spouse and put effort into your relationship.  Strengthening your marriage will in turn make you a stronger family and better parents.  The parents are the kids first and most important example the parents interactions as a couple and of how you treat your wife/husband.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="172" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T14:52:44.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="427" CreationDate="2011-04-01T14:59:09.673" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is something that a teacher told me regarding the interaction between our toddler (3) and our infant (1 year). When the toddler does something to his baby sister that is not terrible but just not nice (like taking away a toy she is holding) you should talk to the toddler about how he hurt the offend-ed's feelings.  Since the baby (and in your case animals) do not talk, they can't express their reaction with words.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to try to explain to the toddler that his actions affected someone else in a wrong way.  She stressed that small punishments (like timeouts or saying sorry) might not be effective because then kids might think that its OK to do the bad things as long as they say sorry afterward.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="172" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T14:59:09.673" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="420" CreationDate="2011-04-01T15:06:07.970" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is something that a teacher told us regarding the bullying between our toddler (3) and our infant (1 year). When the toddler does something to his baby sister that is not terrible but just not nice (like taking away a toy she is holding) you should talk to the toddler about how he hurt the offend-ed's feelings. Since the baby can not, they can't express their reaction with words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to try to explain to the toddler that his actions affected someone else in a wrong way. She stressed that small punishments (like timeouts or saying sorry) might not be effective because then kids might think that its OK to do the bad things as long as they say sorry afterward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will have to decide at what age you think the child would be ready to start &quot;understanding&quot;, but you can always start talking about it early and eventually he/she will catch on.  If the child is not exposed to many kids, it could be also that he just does not know yet how to share and &quot;play-nice&quot; with others.  He could be just pushing and exploring his boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="172" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T15:06:07.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2011-04-01T15:39:29.640" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My dog is a lab/chow mix, and is absolutely fantastic with children. The only time he's snapped &lt;em&gt;at&lt;/em&gt; (and didn't actually connect with) either child is when my son was bending his (the dogs) penis into a pretzel shape. My response was, of course, &quot;Don't do that to the dog.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But a lot of that could be training, because from a very young age I've had the dog learn to settle and be handled by me so I could check his paws for cuts or his ears for ticks. I also trained him to start and stop eating on command and to tolerate having his food taken away. So he has learned to be very docile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So probably you want to pick a dog breed that is considered very trainable and has an activity level that matches your lifestyle. Then make sure that the dog receives a great deal of obedience training, either from a professional or with professional help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of that said, I'm a fan of retrievers, they're smart, easy to train, and don't have a lot of prey drive (at least, not compared to terrier breeds).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T15:39:29.640" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="85" CreationDate="2011-04-01T15:39:51.263" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Work their muscles!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before my niece was standing, after diaper changes while she was on her back, we'd hold her hands and have her do some work in pulling herself up. Of course we would help her but allowing her to try first helped develop her core muscles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had her stand on our lap once we noticed she liked standing and straightening/tensing her legs. We taught my niece how to stand on her own by standing her up by her pack-and-play. She would hang on to the side rails of it for support. She got used to hanging on with one hand and figuring out how to balance herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To pull herself up, we put her toy links on the outside of the pack-and-play. We put one of her toys at the end which was a very spherical bee (just to make it stand out more). She used the links as rope to pull herself up. We would point at the rope and put her hand on it to help guide her how to use it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine babies, due to their curious nature, like being motivated to stand up so you aren't forcing her. I usually hear of parents who prefer delaying motivation because a mobile child is more work and they want a few more months of &quot;peace&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/aJMxD.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T15:39:51.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="420" CreationDate="2011-04-01T16:55:45.923" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you are talking about babies and toddlers, bullying is a lot simpler than it can be with older children.  At this age, it's pretty much one of three scenarios:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Someone taught the child bullying behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If the child's parents encourage the behavior, it's unlikely you'll be able to un-teach it.  Better to just stop spending time with that family.  If it was something picked up at daycare, etc. and the child has been removed from the source, continue per below.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child gets something he/she wants through bullying behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child doesn't grasp that the behavior is naughty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;In either of these cases, normal behavior modification techniques (details below) are the answer.  Children under two generally can't grok (I tried to find a source to link, but all the good studies seem to be paywalled) that others have feelings.  A ten-year-old can look at the child they hurt and see the effect on that child.  An 18-month-old likely isn't yet at the level of cognitive development to do that.  If it gets them attention, or a toy the smaller child had, or a feeling of control, they will repeat the behavior over and over.&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, that leaves the question of how to fix it...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Watch closely.  Until the behavior has been ended, don't leave the little ones alone.  &lt;em&gt;Every&lt;/em&gt; time the behavior repeats without immediate consequence, it is reinforced.  (By the same token, you can never let it go because it's &quot;not that bad yet&quot; etc. -- that teaches that the behavior is okay.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When the child does something inappropriate, the nearest adult should &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt; pick him/her up and return anything he/she has taken to the other child.  (Hint: if the smaller child is already hurt, you have probably waited too long.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In a firm, low voice, tell the child &quot;No. We do not $whatever.  That is naughty.&quot;  And plunk him/her in time out, then walk away.  Everyone should basically pretend the naughty kid isn't there.  Even looking directly at him/her is attention that reinforces the behavior.  1.5 - 2 minutes is a good length of time-out for a child that young.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lavish attention on the younger child, make sure he/she is having fun without the bully (and more importantly, the bully learns that time-out is a not-fun place, and being out there is fun).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When the time-out is over, the person who put the naughty child in time out should pick him/her up (make eye contact at eye level) and repeat what the child has done wrong, and have him/her apologize.  If the child is not yet verbal, use the sign for &quot;I'm sorry&quot;: the right fist circled over the heart one time.  Demonstrate if this is new, but the child &lt;em&gt;does not&lt;/em&gt; get out of time-out without an apology to the child he/she was bullying.  (Hugs are good, too)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let the kids try playing together again, and if it's going well, make sure there is lots of positive attention for both.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will take a while to work -- first, the 18mo has to grasp that the consequence is causally linked to the behavior; then he/she will test &lt;em&gt;different&lt;/em&gt; behaviors to see which ones get a time-out; finally, he/she will experiment with not getting caught and/or test occasionally after the lesson is learned just to see if anything has changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll note that this is a little different than the normal time-out routine I recommend for older children (2+), in that there is no warning.  This is because a lot of 18mo (I'd guess most of them) don't grasp punishments that are separated, even a little, from the behavior that prompts them.  The no-warning approach is also good for 2yos that have trouble connecting it all, though almost all older 2yo kids and 3-and-ups will grasp it and should get warnings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T16:55:45.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="441" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-01T19:13:17.287" Score="0" Body="&lt;h1&gt;What is speech?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speech is the vocalized form of human communication.  The subject of speech includes many subskills, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vocabulary&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;vocabulary&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammar&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;grammar&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pronunciation&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;pronunciation&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enunciation&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;enunciation&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;What questions should have this tag?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Questions about teaching your child to speak.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Questions about speech disabilities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Questions about improving any area of speech skills.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T20:51:59.543" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T20:51:59.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="442" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-01T19:13:17.287" Score="0" Body="Questions relating to speech.  Appropriate topics include learning to speak, speech disabilities, and improving specific speech skills.  &#xD;&#xA;&#xD;&#xA;As with other health-related topics, questions relating to diagnosing or treating a specific medical condition may be closed, as they should be asked of an appropriate medical professional." OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T20:51:59.543" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T20:51:59.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="443" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="444" CreationDate="2011-04-01T21:48:19.260" Score="30" ViewCount="36608" Body="&lt;p&gt;Typically, this is something you don't want out of a child. My 4.5-year-old has been brushing his own teeth for about a year. The problem is that I can't convey to him to spit out the toothpaste. I demonstrate and explain and still he just swallows. Suggestions very welcome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-06-11T12:30:41.357" LastActivityDate="2021-07-06T16:30:13.047" Title="What are some ways to teach a child how to spit (after brushing their teeth)?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|brushing-teeth|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="443" CreationDate="2011-04-01T21:54:30.270" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting problem.  If it were my son, I would try with water.  Take a mouthful, swish around, spit.  Repeat.  Try to make a game out of it.  See if he can hit a cup in the sink or something.  If this works, move onto toothpaste.  Do the exact same thing.  Take a mouthful of water, swish, spit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T21:54:30.270" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="415" CreationDate="2011-04-01T21:58:19.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were concerned about this as well.  We first introduced a blanket or clothes from the hospital that our baby used to get them used to the smell.  We had heard this works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we got home, there was the usual tail wagging and joy at seeing us, but they were for the most part uninterested in the new baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-04-01T21:58:19.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="446" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="448" CreationDate="2011-04-02T00:15:52.687" Score="9" ViewCount="720" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, my school gives kids who do well and turn in all of their homework in 5th grade a laptop. I'm not sure what I think of this, me being raised that computers should be kept in public areas so as to keep kids out of trouble. What thoughts do you guys have on this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:50:02.900" LastActivityDate="2018-04-24T01:45:12.793" Title="Are netbooks appropriate for school age children?" Tags="|school|primary-schooler|computer|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="446" CreationDate="2011-04-02T00:48:08.547" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that computers are incredibly powerful tools for learning, and getting them in the hands of as many children as possible is a &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly, supervising your children, especially when they have internet access, is a good idea.  My 8yo keeps his netbook on a small work table in my office, so we have our computer time together.  I &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; like that he's mobile -- he's even taken to coming to tech conferences with me (he spoke at one of them) -- and our rules at home are plenty to keep the computer where it belongs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-02T00:48:08.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="446" CreationDate="2011-04-02T02:23:38.193" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two sides to this issue you need to consider. The first you already hinted at: for every constructive or enriching or wholesome activity you can do on the computer or internet, there are at least as many time-wasting or even harmful activities. At that age, the majority of the responsibility for their safety and protection is still with you as their parent. There need to be rules and guidelines and appropriate parental controls, record keeping, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, the only way for your child to develop responsibility is to...you guessed it, be given responsibility and trusted as responsible. Once you've discussed your concerns with your child and the rules and safeguards are in place, give them some space and some trust. Children are so much more likely to be responsible if they feel like they are trusted and being treated responsibly. That doesn't mean don't check up on things and follow through with the rules you've set. That simply means don't be paranoid about it, don't do things behind their back, etc, anything that would suggest you don't trust them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-04-02T02:23:38.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="203" CreationDate="2011-04-02T03:12:52.850" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; time to spend teaching your children yourself, and you have some money you could contribute towards their education, you could look into a homeschool co-op, or a part-time homeschool-curriculum based private school. These are both significantly cheaper than traditional private schools, and might offer an environment in which your children could move at a faster pace than other kids in the class in academic areas where they are strong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a co-op, you find other parents that want to homeschool or use a homeschool curriculum, but you pool money together to pay a teacher for several families. This is usually a 2 or 3 day a week thing, then you do additional work and extracurricular activities with them yourself the other days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is an option for you, I would highly recommend seeking out a program or teacher that is familiar with the Classical Education system of teaching. My two older kids who are school aged have learned with this system, and we are very satisfied with the results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To bring the discussion back to your question, ultimately we've found that when our kids are in a smaller classroom (7-8 kids max) and are learning with the Classical Education model, they are never bored and are noticeably excelling in all academic areas each year. They love school, and are excited about learning. In a class setting, students can move at different paces on certain subjects. For example, when my oldest son was in 4th grade, there was a kid in his class who was doing 9th grade math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In public schools, my oldest son was bored and never challenged. He constantly came home with worksheets geared towards helping him pass a standardized test (which ultimately is more about the school than my child, but that's another discussion). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to find out more about Classical Education, there is a good book called &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0393047520&quot;&gt;The Well-Trained Mind&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-02T03:12:52.850" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="452" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="485" CreationDate="2011-04-02T08:27:17.617" Score="24" ViewCount="8531" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 year old daughter loves all kinds of music and rhythm. She dances and &quot;plays&quot; enthusiastically on both guitars, the piano and her toy glockenspiel. This has, since she was just four month, always been about me showing her that you can make noises on various instruments, and she then happily making as much noise as she can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think she's gotten the idea that different keys makes different notes, at least she like to play on all of them, and on the piano she also plays both hard and soft, but she still hasn't gotten the idea of rhythm. Her playing is always just about making notes as fast as possible, so I'm thinking that the next step is introduction to rhythms. She sometimes seems to try to clap her hands slower when I do it, but I'm not sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas or resources on how to introduce her to this would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:52:15.583" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T18:01:38.190" Title="How do you teach a toddler rhythm and melody?" Tags="|toddler|music|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="453" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="469" CreationDate="2011-04-02T10:45:17.167" Score="14" ViewCount="46224" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been advised to keep the child's bedroom cool and humid. Are there any specific guidelines on the correct ranges of temperatures and humidity? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, we are using a humidifier and have some concerns about possible mold growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, is it ok to use a conditioner when the outside temperature is hot?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="41" LastEditorUserId="16360" LastEditDate="2016-12-21T18:48:12.447" LastActivityDate="2019-12-24T14:06:23.890" Title="What is the correct temperature and humidity to maintain in a child's room at night?" Tags="|sleep|bedroom|temperatures|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="181" CreationDate="2011-04-02T11:28:37.717" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started when I was 6 or so—I didn't have any particular pre-requisites, I just liked exploring (especially on the computer!). I actually found QBASIC on the computer myself, had no idea what it did or how to work it, and asked my father—I had no idea it was to do with &quot;programming&quot; or what that was—but he just showed me how you could tell the computer to 'do' things (at first adding numbers, then displaying messages, then asking for input and doing something with that ..), and it would do them for you! The very nature of being able to instruct something else (me! a six year-old!) was the hook.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, he showed me how to access the help files myself—that was invaluable. Now I'm a software engineer, with no experience other than my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your child not to program, but to &lt;em&gt;learn&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="66" LastActivityDate="2011-04-02T11:28:37.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="455" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="514" CreationDate="2011-04-02T15:20:50.443" Score="10" ViewCount="320" Body="&lt;p&gt;While it would be great to be able to just use the doctor we were raised with...&#xA; assuming that's not possible:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does one not merely locate a good first pediatrician, but evaluate them? What are good and bad things to watch for? How do you schedule an evaluation visit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-10-21T16:13:29.843" LastActivityDate="2018-10-21T16:13:29.843" Title="How do you choose a first pediatrician?" Tags="|newborn|first-time|doctor|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="456" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="472" CreationDate="2011-04-02T15:26:38.350" Score="15" ViewCount="320" Body="&lt;p&gt;What questions should I typically ask if the topics don't come up? Also, what should I be looking for that might not otherwise be pointed out, or worse things they may hope as a novice parent I won't notice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-10-21T16:14:06.460" LastActivityDate="2018-10-21T16:14:06.460" Title="What is the best way to evaluate a daycare?" Tags="|daycare|first-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="457" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="481" CreationDate="2011-04-02T18:38:54.440" Score="10" ViewCount="2373" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are in the final stages of adopting kids ranging from ages 7-12. The question has come up a time or two about last names, namely if they should keep their last names, or if we should give them ours, or perhaps a hyphenated name. What I would like to know is, what are the pros and cons of these 3 options, and how much should we involve the kids in the decision? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-02-27T13:33:31.820" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T13:33:31.820" Title="What are the pros and cons of school-aged adopted children taking their adoptive parents' name?" Tags="|adoption|names|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="457" CreationDate="2011-04-02T19:35:13.910" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let each kid decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I changed my last name when I was ten and my mother remarried. I got to make the decision myself, and I don't think I did the wrong decision. And don't forget to consider the names themselves in the decision. Unusual names have their benefit as you get less mixups, and names should be easy to pronounce in many countries (ie no weird characters and few 'R's.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in regards to your question, the only drawback with having a different name from the rest of the family is confusion, people wonder why your kids have a different last name. I believe that was a big part of my older sisters decision to change, she initially kept the old name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that there is no particular drawback to having a different last name from your parents, and the only drawback with a hyphenated name is that it's long and confuses the people who make up usernames on company computer systems. :-) Although that could be seen as a benefit... Hyphenated names also sound fancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think you can let the kids make that decision themselves. At least assuming the new names doesn't end up embarrassing them. Both McDonald and Berger are fine last names, but McDonald-Berger is a bit unfortunate. :-) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also a good thing to let them feel they have control over their own lifes. And if they are unsure, they can always just keep their current names for the time being, and change later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-02T19:35:13.910" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="453" CreationDate="2011-04-02T21:07:30.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say a good room temperature is less than 20 degrees Celcius (68 F), but not below 17C (62.6 F) unless the child has a blanket and does not remove it while sleeping. We do this at home by simply not heating the sleeping rooms in the winter. Summer is a problem, and we don't have air conditioning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for humidity we don't monitor it and we have no humidifier, but then perhaps none is needed as long as there is also no air conditioner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep all rooms' doors open at night to make sure the air doesn't get stuffy in any room. That also helps keeping the temperature down, and probably also evens out and reduces the humidity in the sleeping rooms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="133" LastEditDate="2011-04-05T18:11:35.793" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T18:11:35.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="455" CreationDate="2011-04-02T21:38:25.643" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One idea that I have is to speak with members of the community who are parents with small children, and ask them to share a recommendation, if they feel that they have had a very positive experience with their pediatrician, or if not, ask for the flags.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as warning signs go, I can only speak from personal experience, but some flags that got set off for me on our first pediatrician try were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young, unprofessional staff - The doctor's office seemed to be full of 15 year old assistants, who were doing everything from weighing our child to preparing vaccines. To make it worse, they often did their tasks incorrectly. An example encounter would consist of assistant weighing, doctor coming in, looking at charts gasping and exclaiming &quot;Oh, he lost so much weight,&quot; then looking confused, going to reweigh our child, and finding out that the assistant did not know how to read the scale at all, and then explaining, in front of us, how she should read the scale. Repeat for multiple appointments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lacking a sense of doctor really caring (being impersonal) - Check for flag if doctor treats your child like an inanimate object instead of human. If you can instead discern passion and caring, it may be a good sign. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sharing thoughts - This may not be for everyone, but I want to know what is going on! Prying doctors in my experience can painful, so if you stumble upon one who is eager to let you know what they really think, it may be a good sign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Musty office and/or doesn't look &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; clean -  Huge flag to me, easy to spot right away. On the flip side, if both the space and the doctor are very well maintained, it may be a good sign. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In evaluating, I would attempt to gauge the 'space as a whole', as well as the doctor, but honestly, it is a difficult thing for us laymen to do on the fly. Luckily med school is pretty hard, so I would imagine most pediatricians know their stuff. Trusting this, I'll look a lot at how much I liked them as a person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they came across to me as genuine, intelligent, passionate, caring, friendly individuals who loved what they were doing, it would be a good sign for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Happy hunting! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="146" LastActivityDate="2011-04-02T21:38:25.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="464" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-02T22:21:21.593" Score="23" ViewCount="5942" Body="&lt;p&gt;In what instances do you feel that striking your child is the most appropriate course of action? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="146" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2017-05-11T13:10:52.723" LastActivityDate="2022-05-18T12:35:45.867" Title="When is physical punishment appropriate?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="16" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-02T22:45:35.430" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to think of a case, and I can't. So: Never?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;: I think my answer is less helpful than some that got less votes so I'm updating it to be more helpful and also to show that the question may not be subjective, and that it shouldn't necessarily be closed, but that it should be fixed. Here goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a well established fact that hitting your kids is a bad idea and may make your kids more aggressive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20385647&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20385647&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17874924&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17874924&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2010/05/corporal-punishment.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2010/05/corporal-punishment.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Corporal punishment doesn't make your kids more well behaved, they tend to make them &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; well behaved. And if you want more links, I refer you to philosodads answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since this is well established and uncontroversial, the question can reasonably be interpreted as asking when it is appropriate with physical punishment with the basic standpoint that it in general is not appropriate. In that way, the question is about if it &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt; is appropriate, but badly formulated. This is how I first interpreted it. This probably shows a naivety on my side with respect to the average level of ignorance on these issues, which I started noticing from an answer here that actually advocates corporal punishment for discipline and instilling respect for adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this interpretation, the question is indeed subjective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the debate, I think, has clearly shown that this is not how the question in general is interpreted. Instead it has generally been interpreted to ask how and when to use corporal punishment for discipline. I don't know if that was the OP's intention, but that is clearly how may others have interpreted it. And in that case the question is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; subjective. In that case there is a clear and objective answer, and it is: &lt;strong&gt;It is not appropriate  with corporal punishment&lt;/strong&gt;. The links above and in philosodads answer shows this with little doubt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-04-09T20:46:31.983" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T20:46:31.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="466" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="470" CreationDate="2011-04-03T09:02:08.727" Score="24" ViewCount="10261" Body="&lt;p&gt;From talking to other parents, it seems like most boys (children?) go through an early stage of hitting at around 1. I have a 14-month old (2nd) son who occasionally hits me in the face, and occasionally hits his big brother in the head with objects. His big brother is very good about not hitting back, and playdates have been pretty well monitored, so we're fairly sure no one is modelling this behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the older son (who is now 5), we successfully discouraged this at the ~1-year-old stage by sternly saying &quot;no-hitting&quot; and grabbing his hand as soon as he did this. In retrospect, we believe our 1st seems to have been unusually well-behaved at this age (compared to our 2nd and anyone else's child we knew at 1 year old)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 2nd is perhaps a more typical boy, and shows much more signs of testosterone/aggressiveness, and challenges us and tests his boundaries much more often than our 1st did. The stern &quot;no-hitting&quot; doesn't seem to work so well, even when we follow up with a brief time-out (in the playpen, which is now almost strictly used for this purpose).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've heard that all kids go through this phase, and that the more you make of it, the longer it lasts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have good advice on what do here to ensure this doesn't develop into something worse?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Should we just stay on track with the stern &quot;no-hitting&quot;/time-outs?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Or should we ramp up the punishment somehow? &#xA;Or ignore it in the hopes he'll soon grow out of it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any research on this topic is especially appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="114" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:58:42.943" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T21:06:13.353" Title="How do you discourage a toddler from hitting people?" Tags="|hitting|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-03T11:49:26.693" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't think of any situation where it might be appropriate or constructive in any way.&#xA;I got slapped on the cheek sometimes when I was a kid, but I never felt it was helpful in any way. I think it was a combination of parents' exasperation and not thinking fast enough to realize the ineffectiveness and stop themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What did work very well though was my father's way of grabbing me tightly by my upper arms and holding me there, while very obviously fighting his temper and just telling me what's right and wrong. That made a much stronger impression on me than any face slaps ever did.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Bonus: it was totally harmless, physically. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find myself sometimes grabbing my toddler that way too; just holding him so he can't move much, or lifting him away from harm's way. I hope it's not a bad thing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-04-03T14:05:30.353" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T14:05:30.353" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="468" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-03T13:52:19.883" Score="46" ViewCount="9446" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think most parents agree that it's helpful to follow some fixed ritual when putting a child to bed.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;What elements in such rituals are particularly useful, and what should be avoided?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7/how-do-i-get-my-6-month-old-to-sleep-better-at-night&quot;&gt;several&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/127/how-can-i-get-my-12-month-baby-to-sleep-in-her-bed&quot;&gt;other&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/207/how-to-calm-toddler-before-bedtime&quot;&gt;questions&lt;/a&gt; about this already, but those are meant specifically for one particular situation. Let's make &lt;em&gt;this question&lt;/em&gt; a general set/toolbox of suggestions that we can refer to in the future!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This is not a question that has a single correct answer, so it should be a community wiki.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Please provide exactly one suggestion per answer!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Please upvote and downvote answers according to your experience.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2019-02-24T09:13:36.957" Title="What are some do's and dont's for an effective bedtime ritual?" Tags="|sleep|bedtime|toddler|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="23" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T21:49:13.087" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="453" CreationDate="2011-04-03T13:55:18.180" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The temperature part of this question is tricky, because different children are comfortable with different temperatures, just like adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, each of our children have been different as far as getting too hot or too cold. We have 18mo twins, and we have to dress our boy more warmly than our daughter. My 3yo sweats considerably during the first part of the night, then he seems to cool off; so he needs to be uncovered at first, then covered. My 5yo will pretty much sleep with any temperature setting. My 15 yo is always warm, so he blasts the fan in his room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, we try to keep our house at 71-72F(22Celcius) at night, and this seems like a good average temperature for everyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure about humidity. We've never tried humidifiers for the kids, but we live in Houston which has a humid climate. With the high humidity, mold is definitely an issue in Houston in general. So long as you have painted walls in the room you're using the humidifier in, the areas to watch out for mold growth are typically near vent hood covers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="111" LastEditDate="2011-04-26T20:45:37.577" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T20:45:37.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="466" CreationDate="2011-04-03T14:03:14.007" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;At some point, in the myriad parenting books, articles, and magazines my wife and I read, somebody said that the best way to discipline a child under 2 is to do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get down on the ground &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;grab their arms and hold them down to the sides of their body&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;keep them at a distance and look them in the eyes and say &quot;NO biting&quot; (or whatever) sternly and shake your head&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;look at them in the eyes for about 10 seconds, no letting them break free if they try&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;repeat the no and head shake again&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ask for a hug and give them one if they're up to it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, sometimes they still go back to the same activity, at which time, the recommendation was to remove them from the situation and distract them with something else. You can do this by walking them into a different room and doing something different with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has worked very well for us with all of our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T14:03:14.007" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="471" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="483" CreationDate="2011-04-03T14:22:14.550" Score="11" ViewCount="2049" Body="&lt;p&gt;All sources I can find agree that breastfeeding should stop slowly and gradually, and most of them say that it often happens naturally once the baby gets used to solid foods. Well, with our baby it didn't, so we are now when she is one year old looking to get this process started properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She eats solid foods and drinks water from a bottle all by herself, but still wants to nurse, especially to go to sleep. It seems to be mostly a comfort thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What recommendations do you have for a process to ween her off breastfeeding? Should we start with only breastfeeding during the night? Only the day? Hints for making her less interested in nursing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T01:02:19.917" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T01:02:19.917" Title="How do you ween a toddler off of breastfeeding?" Tags="|toddler|breastfeeding|weaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="456" CreationDate="2011-04-03T16:09:20.603" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should visit the day care. If you show up unannounced, you can see them 'in action'. Below are some general guidelines and a few references.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;facilities&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;does it look safe and clean?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what toys are available?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;schedule&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what activities are included? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;are there opportunities for both individual and group play?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do they have snack time? What do they serve?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;staff&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what is the staff to child ratio?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;are the staff certified?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what training / experience do the staff have?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;will they accommodate cloth diapers (if required)? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;will they accommodate any special needs that you / your child has?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;health&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;are children required to get vaccines?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what are their rules on sick children? (do they have to stay home?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what is their philosophy on behavior modification? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;general&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do other parent's recommend them?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how long have they been in business?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;are they certified?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have they been reported to the better business bureau?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can you stop by any time?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;see also&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/work-play/pages/Choosing-a-Childcare-Center.aspx&quot;&gt;Choosing Child Care at healthychildren.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildcare.org/index.html&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics Child Care website&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T16:09:20.603" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-03T16:35:52.657" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Same time every day.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever ritual the parents choose, it should start at the same time every day. It might take longer to complete on some days, but a fixed starting time helps create a solid routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This starting time should be respected whenever possible, also on evenings when special events are happening (parties, guests visit, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T16:35:52.657" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-03T16:35:52.657" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-03T16:37:47.803" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Same order every day.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This should really be a no-brainer. The steps that the bedtime ritual consists of should be done in the same order every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T16:37:47.803" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-03T16:46:51.977" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-03T16:46:40.230" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Putting toys away.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one neat thing we've built into our bedtime routine. Even at 12 months of age, our child already knew that the toys are meant to be put away at the end of the day. The toys sleep in bins at night, and the bins have their own place as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By starting this particular habit very early, we've managed to get a very tidy living room with very little effort. And it's &lt;em&gt;so&lt;/em&gt; much more relaxing when I'm not stepping on or around toys all night :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T16:46:40.230" CommentCount="4" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-03T16:47:02.383" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="471" CreationDate="2011-04-03T18:42:33.727" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may be natural for children to lose interest in breastfeeding once they start on solids, but if they &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; lose interest you do not need to be worried. I think our first child was about 18 months old before we completely weaned her. By then, of course, she was eating meals with the family and could eat most foods on her own. But she still had her daily feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child learns to eat more and more solid food, their dependence on breastfeeding is less about nutrition and more about safety and comfort (as you suggested). So as you cut out breastfeeding from the daily routine, make sure the child is getting enough intimate time--snuggling or reading on the lap work great. Using that approach, we were able to cut down the breast feedings to twice a day (1 at wake up time, 1 at bed time), and then once a day (at bed time), and then eventually cut them out altogether. The transition was pretty seamless, and our daughter didn't feel like she was missing out because she was still getting the same amount of attention as before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T18:42:33.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="189" CreationDate="2011-04-03T18:56:32.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The BBC's CBeebies for pre-school kids currently runs a series called 'The Lingo Show', which aims to give kids an introduction to different languages. It's  fairly &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/lingoshow/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;well supported online&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/samesmile/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Same Smile&lt;/a&gt; which &quot;explores the UK celebrating diversity of children's lives&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last but not least, is our current household favourite, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rastamouse.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Rastamouse&lt;/a&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T18:56:32.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-03T19:06:30.990" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't watch an exciting/thrilling/scary movie before bedtime&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's sometimes hard to gauge which movie would keep the children up, but in our experience, if it gets them excited enough to jump about when they're watching it, best have some wind-down time before bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T19:06:30.990" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T21:49:13.087" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-03T19:20:48.650" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When physical punishment is appropriate varies greatly from one child to another.  I know that many think it is horrible to ever spank your child but it is a very effective form of discipline if not abused.  In my experience, many (not all) children who are never spanked are extremely disrespectful to authority figures and their own parents. They tend to be the ones who like to push the limits of what is allowed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son does not understand talking with him or time out, but slapping him on the hand he understands (I have always been against any form of slapping on the face).  He rarely gets spanked on the behind unless he is doing something that is dangerous or just being stubbornly disobedient. Most of the time just telling him to stop something or saying &quot;NO&quot; is all that is needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But every child is different. The guy I work with has 2 sons, one spanking was very effective, the other it was not effective at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you do spank, make sure you do it out of discipline, and not anger or embarrassment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastEditorUserId="42" LastEditDate="2011-04-04T21:25:08.760" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T21:25:08.760" CommentCount="18" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-03T19:22:09.623" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on your child, your child's age, and your goals.  If your goal is to get your child to lie down and go to sleep without fuss, then a daily ritual is important and the right one is the one that works.  If your child is not fussy about going to bed, this becomes less important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another important part of going to bed is it's something where the same family members tend to be involved every day.  It's a great time to do stuff like reading, talking about the day, or reinforcing earlier discussions.  We use it for reading and music.  I read to our son, and am starting to have him read.  My wife sings and works on his ear training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T19:22:09.623" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T21:49:13.087" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="457" CreationDate="2011-04-03T19:26:03.917" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;By adopting a child you are saying that you are taking that child as your own, so you should change the name. Not doing so will segregate the family more and could cause the child to think that they are not a true part of the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T19:26:03.917" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="471" CreationDate="2011-04-03T20:34:04.490" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;With two children now 3 and 21 months we had two different personalities to contend with but got it done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked for our children was transition  to a different routine at the time we wanted the nursing to subside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step was to transition to bedtime only feedings. This pacified both children and was the single biggest step we took. When it was time to transition away from the bedtime feeding it was critical to change the environment and bedtime routine and stick with it. The first few days were the most difficult but the approach worked well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the children would still show interest at random points in time; it was ignored. Ignoring the behavior eventually led the child to also lose interest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest piece of advice I can offer is don't feel as though you have to do it at a given time. While your may have ideals about the appropriate time the reality is that the child we lose interest. More times then not it is the mother who wants that attachment and while she admits to wanting to wean the child off...is also weaning herself. Breastfeeding has created a significant bond between the mother and the child and losing that is often times more difficult for the mother then the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T20:34:04.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="471" CreationDate="2011-04-03T20:42:55.880" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can start by eliminating the feedings that are of least interest to your child (you can figure this out by how long the child nurses).  Drop one feeding at a time and then wait a few days for your body to catch up with the signal to not produce milk at that time.  Eliminating night feedings first may give you and your child better sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment, my wife has eliminated all the feedings for our 14 month old except for the 4am.  This is proving to be challenging.  For the past couple of nights she has given a bottle at that hour and plans to water down the milk by one ounce per night until the bottle is only water.  She hopes that this will help our son's stomach to get the message that he shouldn't be hungry at that hour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the bedtime and nap feedings, you can first switch the nursing to the beginning of the bedtime routine so that it isn't the last thing before going to sleep. Then you can start completely skipping that part.  Lately I've been bathing our son and reading the stories, then my wife does the tuck in.  Our son has forgotten about the nighttime feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For any breast pain associated with too much milk build up, you can try a warm shower, pumping a little milk out, cold cabbage leaves, or ibuprofen.  It really should only take 2-3 days for your body to catch up with the signal to not produce so much milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="114" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T20:42:55.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="452" CreationDate="2011-04-03T21:02:07.360" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teaching rhythm with a complicated instrument like a piano might be difficult.  Get a cheap set of play drums of different sizes that can be played with either a stick or with your hands.  These are fun for children just to make noise and play, but you can also sit and play games.  Any game you play with drums involves rhythm at some level, and you can increase the game sophistication as she starts to learn.  These drum sets are also great for groups of children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want drums, there are many percussion play instruments like blocks, shakers, and castanets.  However, from what I've seen, children gravitate toward the drums if given a choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-04-03T21:02:07.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="452" CreationDate="2011-04-03T21:13:21.973" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might consider starting with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.beachnet.com/~jeanettem/chants.html&quot;&gt;clapping games&lt;/a&gt;, like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat-a-cake,_pat-a-cake,_baker%27s_man&quot;&gt;pat-a-cake&lt;/a&gt;. These games are effective because you know when you are out of synch because of your partner. Success is being able to play the game smoothly. The speed can be increased to make it more challenging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started teaching my kids by having them press the back of my hands as I was clapping. To them, it felt like they were making my hands clap while I was controlling the rhythm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lots of singing and clapping, banging, and dancing to music will naturally support their rhythm development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Ever been to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pow-wow&quot;&gt;powwow&lt;/a&gt;? There are lots of drums and people are encouraged to clap and stop their feet. Children usually play a role in the festivities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-05-15T11:42:38.817" LastActivityDate="2011-05-15T11:42:38.817" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-04T05:47:27.853" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Read a bedtime story.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bedtime story winds him down and can be useful for talking through some special good or bad events/behaviours of the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our toddler would just rip the pages out if we tried now :-) but soon we want to begin this. I'd place it after the bathroom, just before lights out. I think I'd prefer to put him in his bed &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; reading, to emphasize that the bed is only for sleeping. I don't want to teach him that it's okay to be awake and play in the bed; that's for outside the bed only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T05:47:27.853" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T05:47:27.853" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="487" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="489" CreationDate="2011-04-04T07:47:31.177" Score="53" ViewCount="32362" Body="&lt;p&gt;So the situation is that I'm not the real father of my son. I call him my son since I love him very much, but he is my girlfriend's son from her previous relationship. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid though... He does listen to me.. for now. But I'm afraid that when the time comes, and he will be a teenager who rebels against everything, he will pop this line. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do think that I have a good relationship with him. He does love me, too. I can tell as much, but you know... Children are children, he will change his mind the first time I forbid him to smoke a cigar or whatever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how should I handle this? This IS an ultimate defense. And a hurtful one too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="107" LastEditorDisplayName="user24977" LastEditDate="2016-12-19T09:31:30.693" LastActivityDate="2017-03-17T13:11:50.267" Title="How should a stepfather respond to &quot;You are not my Father!&quot;?" Tags="|teen|communication|step-parents|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-04T08:58:09.820" Score="62" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was brought up by a stepdad, and yes, &quot;You are not my real dad&quot; is an &quot;ultimate defense&quot; used to hurt, and only to hurt, when you feel wronged, and you feel you have no more arguments left to why you should not be allowed to do something/forced to do something. It's the equivalent of saying &quot;You are stupid&quot;. He will not change his mind about how he feels for you, or maybe he will, and that's okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be hurt by his words. Admit that he is correct in that &quot;you aren't his real dad&quot;. Reaffirm that not being his biological father is not important to you because you still care about him. You are forbidding him to [smoke, drink, whatever] because you care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-04-05T18:11:00.663" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T18:11:00.663" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-04T14:24:08.903" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Lennart says, he &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; say it just to hurt you, but whether it comes out or not, it has nothing to do with whether or not he'll obey you.  If you were his biological father, he'd just find some other biting remark.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, by the time he's a teen, doing the right thing (mostly -- we all make mistakes) should be the result of &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; good judgement, &lt;em&gt;not yours&lt;/em&gt;.  If he can't make good decisions for himself by then (with your advice, but not just out of obedience to you) you've already failed as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good parents teach their children to be progressively more &lt;em&gt;independent&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;capable&lt;/em&gt;, not to simply do as they are told as teens the same way they must as young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T14:24:08.903" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="415" CreationDate="2011-04-04T16:01:52.643" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is some reason for concern, even if your dog seems perfectly well adjusted. Dogs typically respond &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caninenannyservices.com/20.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;differently to different kinds of people&lt;/a&gt;. A perfectly normal dog may be weary of people with hats, people of a certain gender/age/race/etc. This is the reason that puppys should be introduced to a variety of different types of people during socialization. Google &quot;puppy socialization&quot; and you'll see a lot of advice to exposing your dog to friends of various ages/sizes/ethnicities in as many different settings doing as many different behaviors as possible. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.perfectpaws.com/pup1.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So dogs not socialized to &lt;em&gt;babys&lt;/em&gt; as puppies, may need to be desensitized to them by gradually exposing them to baby sounds and baby behavior. There's a lot out there including &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0793805678&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;books&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://leerburg.com/dogs-babies.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;web articles&lt;/a&gt; that give a lot of great advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T16:01:52.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="452" CreationDate="2011-04-04T18:20:19.067" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;An iPad + &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apple.com/ipad/from-the-app-store/garageband.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Garageband&lt;/a&gt; could be a superb way to start learning music and rythm in a playful manner. I might say this because I so immensely love this app myself but, hey, it's good if a parent can have fun too right? :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="171" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T18:20:19.067" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-04T19:02:58.583" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Include time off as part of bedtime&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most effective tools my parents used with us when growing up, especially as we were entering the teenage years, was a 30 minute &quot;self time&quot; or &quot;meditation time&quot; added before the &quot;lights out&quot; &quot;must be asleep now&quot; bed time. This was time that I we were expected to spend in bed, without TV/video-games or talking to each other (books or journal writing were ok), but not expected to be asleep or remain completely quiet during.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T19:02:58.583" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T21:49:13.087" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-04T20:18:52.263" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give The Child A Bath&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bath time prior to bedtime is an important part of the ritual, ensuring your child can feel clean and comfortable as they settle down to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they play in the bath, that's OK as they'll get rid of any excess energy before the next part of the bedtime ritual.  If the bath calms them down, that's OK too (since the whole point of bedtime is to calm down and get to sleep).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T20:18:52.263" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T21:49:13.087" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-04T20:24:43.117" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brushing Teeth&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your toddler to grow up having good dental hygiene, its best to cement the habit now.  Therefore, as soon as they have teeth to brush, you should include brushing teeth in the bedtime routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What works for us best is after bath, but before books.  Every family will have to determine where teeth brushing fits into their evening routine, but whenever it fits in, it should be there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T20:24:43.117" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T21:49:13.087" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="455" CreationDate="2011-04-04T20:56:15.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way that we found ours was to make an appointment with who ever was on call the day I called to set up the appointment.  We didn't like the first pediatrician we got so when I made the next appointment I did the same thing.  The second pediatrician we got is a really nice guy who is laid back but knows his stuff.  He gave us his desk number to call if we have questions so that we don't have to try to navigate through the clinic phone system to get a hold of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T20:56:15.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-04T21:35:25.317" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep the bedroom for sleeping.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bedrooms are for beds and beds are for sleeping in.  All that we keep in our boys bedroom are their beds and clothes.  I plan to keep it that way, as much as possible, as they get older.  Our goal is that once they go into their room it is for personal quiet time and sleeping.  Yes it means that their toys are all over the house but it keeps us motivated to sort through them and get rid of the ones they don't need any more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By doing this we keep their room a place of calm and quiet in hopes that they can get the quality rest that they need as they grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My boys are now almost 4 years old and things have gotten a bit more muddled.  I still keep the toys out of the room but the darn things keep sneaking in there.  I do keep all their books in there still and we read in there on a regular basis.  I also have a bookbag in there devoted to their library books.  I have added a few night lights and pillow pets to help with them being scared of the dark in the middle of the night.  We use their room for timeouts during the day when they need to calm down.  I still try to keep it a place of peace and quiet as much as possible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T11:36:20.720" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T11:36:20.720" CommentCount="9" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T21:49:13.087" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-04T21:38:18.807" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No bottles in bed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have had a firm rule in our house that bottles and sippy cups are NEVER allowed in their cribs.  I know too many kids who have to have a bottle of milk in order to fall asleep at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T21:38:18.807" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-04T21:49:13.087" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-04T21:41:27.900" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never been in that situation but the first response that comes to my mind is to say &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Thats true, and I love you anyway. But you still can't ...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="88" LastEditDate="2011-04-05T01:32:50.860" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T01:32:50.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-04T22:35:09.337" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone who was adopted at four my advice is to ask why the child feels that way, does he feel you are treating him differently than any other child in your family? And then ask what exactly constitues being a &quot;real father&quot;. Then I would explain the best you can that you are his real father, you are the one raising him, you took the legal and financial responsibilities, you are the one who is involved in every aspect of his life caring for him and protecting him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are his father, he needs to understand and respect that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't recal ever saying this to my dad, but my brother used the line &quot;you are not my real brother&quot; on me when he was mad and it hurt a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastEditorUserId="42" LastEditDate="2011-04-04T22:40:36.540" LastActivityDate="2011-04-04T22:40:36.540" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="502" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="505" CreationDate="2011-04-05T00:03:39.427" Score="5" ViewCount="187" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a reliable, online, place, where I can find reviews for video games, board games, toys and movies which are aimed at parents, especially parents with young children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:17:42.147" LastActivityDate="2012-09-04T12:17:42.147" Title="Where can I find reliable entertainment reviews which are targeted for parents?" Tags="|games|movies|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-05T16:55:40.270" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-05T00:22:30.900" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I think it is important to differentiate between &quot;striking&quot; a child, which I am interpreting to mean purposeful physical contact in anger and without consideration, and &quot;spanking&quot; a child, which I am interpreting to mean a calm and considered open hand hitting the bum/backside/buttocks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, it is important to distinguish between the impetus behind the action. &quot;Striking&quot; a child is abusive. &lt;strong&gt;&quot;Spanking&quot; a child indicates lack of skill as a parent&lt;/strong&gt;. In my opinion, &lt;strong&gt;&quot;spanking&quot; is better than no discipline at all&lt;/strong&gt;, which may well be the cause of MasterZ's comment about &quot;children who are never spanked (being) extremely disrespectful&quot;. Children must have limits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would consider spanking a child in order to produce an emotional response to a violent disciplinary issue (biting, hitting, scratching, etc.) that has not previously been possible to elicit through other means. This is the absolute last resort in asserting authority over a child who is not complying on a critical issue that MUST stop for their own well-being and those around them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I do not advocate spanking. In my experience, cold showers are more effective and less humiliating. But again, children must behave within limits. Sometimes it is critical that these limits be imposed. Here is a link to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/399/is-punishment-necessary/413#413&quot;&gt;another post&lt;/a&gt; that refers to research on physical punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you down-vote this answer, please leave a comment to explain why.&lt;/strong&gt; I understand that this is an unpopular/dissuaded stance and am writing the post to provide a counter-arguement, with parameters, firmly placing the responsibility on the parents for being ineffective but recognizing that they are not avoiding their duty by making this decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T00:59:30.823" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-05T00:28:09.223" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to work with someone who was a huge proponent of spanking. His claim was that without spanking, his kids would be out of control, disrespectful, and so forth. Corporal punishment, he claimed, worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Among the things that he had to discipline his kids for? Disrespect for authority figures. Destruction of property. Lying. Hitting each other. Hitting other kids. My personal favorite was the time they pushed a $5000 sewing machine down the stairs because they wanted to see what would happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, despite having to mete out spankings on a regular basis, he was convinced that spanking worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the truth is that the scientific evidence tends towards the opposite conclusion. (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/161/7/805?ijkey=5ecceff672d8128717d871d9d6a0038e31d4b858&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/125/5/e1057&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01341.x/full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;3&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-008-9206-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;4&lt;/a&gt;) Spanking is ineffective as a form of discipline, and may have many negative effects on children. There's just no reason to think that spanking--or indeed, punishment in general--is an effective means of long term behavior modification. (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/icd.469/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;5&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01409.x/full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;6&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/five_ways_to_raise_kind_children/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;7&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditDate="2022-05-12T15:03:45.907" LastActivityDate="2022-05-12T15:03:45.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="502" CreationDate="2011-04-05T00:32:07.720" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have recommended &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.commonsensemedia.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Common Sense Media&lt;/a&gt; in response to a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/posts/73/edit&quot;&gt;similar question about movies&lt;/a&gt;, and it turns out that they provide similarly high quality reviews for the following media:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Movies &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Games &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Apps &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Websites &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;TV &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Books &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Music&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have rankings for age appropriateness, as well for rankings and explanations for specific categories that parents are likely to find relevant. You can search by media type, by age, and more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T00:32:07.720" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-05T16:55:40.270" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="446" CreationDate="2011-04-05T00:35:11.883" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;My school gives kids who do well and turn in all of their homework in 5th grade a laptop&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's one way to widen the gap between those who are made for our school system and those who need a different approach. The tool might actually be better placed in the hands of those who aren't doing as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, supervision is important. I equate internet freedom with physical freedom; by grade 5, they should know how to keep themselves out of trouble in the same way that they can safely cross the street and walk a few blocks to school on their own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T00:35:11.883" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2011-04-05T00:49:57.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's not about the breed; it's about the owner&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband grew up with pitbulls and was very rough and tumble with them. I cringe listening to the potential disasters that never happened. Conversely, people get bitten by labs too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend you choose a dog that suits your lifestyle. Then, learn how to be good owners and teach your children how to be respectful and careful around animals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T00:49:57.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-04-05T01:29:30.053" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We eat dessert every night. Sometimes it is more elaborate than other times. Sometimes we eat dessert first! On those nights dessert is something I want them to eat anyway, like prunes. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Our rule at the table is &quot;good food first&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;. If they don't want to eat, it will be waiting for them when they are hungry. No pressure. There are limits though. Dinner for us lasts about 20-30 minutes. When everyone has had sufficient time to eat, dinner is over. Sometimes my slowpoke is happy to not have to finish his meal. Sometimes he gets it for breakfast. We try not to waste food. Dessert is not served at breakfast; it waits until dinner, after the good food first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T01:29:30.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-04-05T01:49:58.043" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure they are part of a bilingual community. As they grow older, they need more than just family who speak their &quot;mother tongue&quot;. This is where the community provides support for continuation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find other people from your country. Start a children's group where the parents and children speak the language. This should help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T01:49:58.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="502" CreationDate="2011-04-05T08:01:07.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use general review sites for judging if the game is appropriate for my son or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every popular review site I know (metacritic, imdb, boardgamegeek, amazon, etc.) contains information about genre, PG rating, basic description, screenshots (or photos) and so on. This general information normally gives me enough data to decide if the game is appropriate. Moreover, boargamegeek and amazon contain info about appropriate age, which also gives me an idea if the toy or game is too complicated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I doubt, I just describe, say, general game plot, show some screenshots or photos and see if it excites my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T08:01:07.377" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-05T16:55:40.270" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-05T08:26:26.107" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Spanking (since striking is rightfully illegal in most countries) is in some cases can be somewhat beneficial. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there are problems with it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can fail to be clear about why you spanked, so kid can treat your spanking as an outburst of violence;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can spank your kid too often; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is easy to make physical pain, since you are much stronger than kid; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While establishing limits is an essential task in bringing up a child, using spanking as the most common tool for that is outright wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T08:26:26.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="513" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="515" CreationDate="2011-04-05T08:57:47.493" Score="59" ViewCount="28456" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you cope with the sleeplessness, the stress, the fear in the first few months?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby just came home yesterday. He was five weeks premature, so he was in the NICU for two weeks. The stress of doing things &quot;right&quot; is overwhelming. I've taken time off work to help my wife, but after two weeks I'll be back at work during the day, and I worry so much for my wife's forbearance too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How did you cope in the first few months? &quot;This, too, shall pass&quot;? Or something more?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="66" LastEditorUserId="66" LastEditDate="2014-08-04T04:20:24.067" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T04:20:24.067" Title="How do you cope in the first few months?" Tags="|newborn|premature|coping|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="455" CreationDate="2011-04-05T09:02:43.120" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;It depends&quot;, on a lot of different factors. I hate to suggest something as negative sounding as &quot;trial and error&quot;, but well, that seems to be the best way. To get through med school, and then go back to specialize in pediatrics... that seems like it's going to weed out the ones that just aren't any good at the base medicine. So really what you're left to base a selection on is people skills. Some of the key points that have turned me off of pediatricians. (and for that matter one of the OB/GYNs in the rotation... we were happy when my wife went into labour and we got to the birth center and didn't see his name on the board.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do they seem to spend more time looking at your kid or their chart? (ok, I like a bookworm... but not during the limited time we have together. And not if it's clear you're not listening to the answer I'm giving to the question you just asked. Which is the same question the nurse asked and typed in the chart you're reading right now... in fact I can see her transcription of my answer on screen under your mouse.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do they still remember your child's name 5 minutes into the exam? How about at the end? (Seriously, one Dr was particularly bad about it... &quot;The boy will be fine in a day or two, if not call us back.&quot; Said with the same amount of interest as if his wife asked if he wanted meatloaf or liver for dinner... &quot;The meatloaf will be fine dear.&quot; Contrast that with our current pediatrician who opens the door and immediately says &quot;Hi &lt;em&gt;Q&lt;/em&gt;, how are you doing?&quot; or &quot;Oh no &lt;em&gt;Q&lt;/em&gt;, this says you're not feeling well!&quot; and ends with saying &quot;Good bye &lt;em&gt;Q&lt;/em&gt;!&quot; while walking us out. (it turns out her office is just past the door to the waiting room, and she always goes straight back and types up her notes on the visit, then pulls up the next patient's chart.))&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was born at the hospital that is part of the same healthy care network my wife and I both see our doctors at, which made it pretty easy. The very first pediatrician we saw was actually when they came into the DLRP room my wife and our son were staying in to give him his 2 day old checkup. (The previous day's tests had been done while my wife was asleep and I wasn't there.) Both of those pediatricians were on rotation through the birth center from the normal pediatrics offices at their three clinic sites. I liked the dr there, but she worked out of their north clinic (about a 25 minute drive from our house) so when we scheduled his first check-up at 1 month I told the receptionist to pick anyone but Dr. X (who many co-workers had advised against.) Wasn't too thrilled with that pediatrician, but he seemed to be &quot;ok&quot;. After maybe 5 or 6 visits with him, we needed to bring our son in in a hurry for an illness... they said Dr. Y couldn't see us for 3 days... but Dr Z. could see us in 30 minutes. We jumped at that chance, and after seeing Dr. Z that one time, we asked the front desk to change us to her as our son's &quot;regular&quot; pediatrician. We've seen a couple others off and on since then when he's gotten sick and she's not been available... but I can't imagine asking for a different doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Out of curiosity I asked at the desk if it was a problem to change pediatricians, they laughed and said &quot;no problem at all.&quot; then commented that they would rather switch us a dozen times than have us stuck with a pediatrician that just doesn't work for our family. Apparently it's a pretty common thing, different parents/kids just work out better with different doctors. They recognize that and don't fight it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before he was born, I had asked a number of co-workers with kids for recommendations, they had almost universally said there were two doctors (a husband and wife team no less) that were hands down the best pediatricians in the group. And there was another that got very favorable comments from everyone.  All three of them are so popular, that they're not accepting new patients. (unless you already have a child that they see, new siblings were welcomed.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T09:02:43.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2011-04-05T09:56:29.713" Score="61" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first couple months were... bad. From that experience I can give you these pieces of advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Realize that you are most likely not in this alone. Friends and family are a wonderful thing. Especially those that have kids, they'll know and understand. If one of them calls to say they want to come over and see the baby, and asks if you need anything... don't just automatically say no. Stop and think. Have you been living on delivered take out and frozen meals for a few days in a row, got a tenner in your wallet? Ask 'em to stop at the store you know they're driving past and grab $10 worth of fresh fruit on the way. The ones that have kids are going to ask to help, they've been there before, they won't think any less of you for accepting that offer to help. Do it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Realize that no child is a perfect text book demonstration. Neither are parents. Case in point: nursing. There's some figure in all the literature we were given about how a baby should suckle for 15 minutes on each side for a feeding at whatever particular age we were at at the time. (1 week after discharge I think?) All the books, the doctors, everyone said it. No way we were getting that. We (especially my wife) were feeling like miserable failures as parents. In the middle of one such feeding attempt, as she was holding him on her lap and trying to get my help to get him into the position shown in the book the phone rang, it was our &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doula&quot;&gt;doula&lt;/a&gt; calling just to see how things were going. I think she heard the break down in my voice when I said &quot;not so hot actually.&quot; She was at our house in about 20 minutes. When all was said and done, and the tears stopped flowing, the book was thrown out the proverbial window, at least metaphorically, and we stopped trying to live up to the text book case. It is a summary/average, not a mold you must fit. Turns out what all those things forgot to say, was that 15 minutes &lt;em&gt;total&lt;/em&gt; was the important part... not 15 solid continuous minutes suckling.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Prioritize and don't sweat the small stuff. You may not vacuum the house for a couple weeks, unless you're really sloppy, it won't really matter. Dishes may pile up in the sink a bit longer than you would normally let them, again, it won't really matter in the long run. You might not even shave every day (assuming you're the type that does that), so what if you get a little furry. In particular:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You're going to be eating meals that are quick and easy to make (and ideally make in a larger quantity so that you can have leftovers) so you might not be eating as &quot;nice&quot; as you normally do. But it's going to be important (double extra for mom if she's nursing) to be eating well... be sure to avoid the junk aisle when you do get out to the store. I normally loathe frozen store bought meals, but they were very useful those first few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Laundry. You're going to be doing a lot of small loads on short notice to deal with baby messes. Scrape as much of the mess into the toilet as you can first (either kind of mess, doesn't matter... it's flushable.) then run a quick rinse cycle with the baby clothes/urp rags, etc. But then, when you actually run the real load with soap and all... toss in a few of your clothes to to bulk up the load... yeah, they won't get the fancy fabric softener or bleach, but oh well, they'll be clean and you'll have some underwear in the &lt;strike&gt;drawer&lt;/strike&gt;basket again.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find a shoulder to cry on that knows what's going on, preferably one that's had kids recently. But here's the weird part... not family, or close friends... but someone you can trust. For us, it was our Doula. She proved to be a massive life saver, not only with the above referenced nursing issue but a couple other mountains out of molehills that day. Was that a conversation we could have had with parents, or close friends? I doubt it. But this was the woman who had been in the LDRP room with us for close to 12 hours... any embarrassment from having her help figure out why the nipple doesn't stay in baby's mouth... yeah, pretty minor by comparison. I realize with a 5 week premie you may not have the luxury of such a relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sleep when the baby sleeps. I don't care if it's 3 in the afternoon, and you have a million things to do, if you haven't gotten your 7 or 8 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours, lay down and take a nap too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final note of closing that might sound contradictory to some of what I just said. When I say you should accept the help of friends and family, I mean help in keeping you two and the house going to support you and your wife supporting the baby. Try to keep all the baby care on your own plate, in your own hands... in the long run you won't regret your mom baking a tray of lasagna for you all to have for diner, but you will regret not being the one to change the diaper, or bring the baby from the cradle to mom for a feeding, or bounce them on your shoulder for a post feeding urp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T09:56:29.713" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2011-04-05T11:48:06.100" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's perfectly natural to be somewhat panicked, or worried about losing your sanity. Here is what I learned from the first few months of being a father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Accept that you're in a new situation right now.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Becoming parents is the single biggest change in your life, ever. Many of your habits (chores, interests, hobbies) will have to be adapted, and while you figure out which habits change in what way, you're naturally going to feel stressed. Realize that feeling stressed does not mean that you're doing a poor job!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Focus on today. Don't worry about the future.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you don't have as much time for yourself as you used to. Still, you must take care of yourself to the extent needed so that you can take care of others (spouse, child). That sometimes means that the baby cries for two minutes while you go to the lavatory. That may also mean that some chores get done less regularly, or at bigger intervals than you're used to. &lt;em&gt;It's okay.&lt;/em&gt; You only need to &lt;em&gt;function&lt;/em&gt; right now, until you work out a new routine in the home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practically everybody understands that the first child is a big change. It may mean that you're less productive in the office, or that you put in fewer hours than you're used to; most workplaces understand and accept that, so use it to your advantage and don't stress about it. You'll catch up in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't be afraid to ask for help.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some are fortunate to be near their extended family, who can help with some chores in the coming weeks. In two months time, you'll a grasp on your new routine and you won't need help anymore/as much. If you don't have family nearby, you can still ask friends to run an errand once in a while. If you're all alone, you're still &lt;em&gt;two parents&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A feeding schedule is helpful.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to establish a regular feed/awake/sleep schedule. It might be every two hours, or every four hours. Let the baby breastfeed at those intervals, even if he doesn't want to at first. Having a regular schedule is immensely helpful, and you'd be surprised how early that can be trained. As soon as that schedule is roughly in place, both parents can wind down a bit because the next sleep phase can be planned out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let mommy sleep.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you're at home, allow your wife to sleep whenever needed; best while the baby is asleep too. Newborns often don't feed on a regular schedule yet, so it can be very tiring for the wife to be &lt;em&gt;always-on-standby&lt;/em&gt; for breastfeeding. Let her sleep and recharge, to be ready to handle on her own when you're back to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T11:48:06.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="517" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="542" CreationDate="2011-04-05T13:19:08.437" Score="42" ViewCount="89528" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler doesn't like to get his teeth brushed. How do I get him to be more cooperative?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He knows it's part of the bedtime routine and doesn't try to avoid it. He will happily grab and hold out his toothbrush for us to put toothpaste on it, and then he enjoys sucking and chewing it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's done that for a short while, we decide it's necessary to do it properly, and that often ends in me holding him while my wife brushing his teeth, while we explain what we're doing and why. It only takes 20 seconds, but it's always accompanied by screaming and squirming. I'd like to find a way to avoid this. As soon as we're done, everything is fine again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clarification and update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;At this age, we don't expect him to be able to brush his teeth on his own. What I meant was that he didn't allow us to do it for him either.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, four months have passed since I asked this, and he's developed a lot. Now he gladly lets us brush his teeth carefully and cheerfully. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 2:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Another 6 months have passed, and he's still not enjoying the experience. He understands that it has to be done, and he sees us do it too. Sometimes he'll happily let us brush his teeth, other times it's a struggle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are using several suggestions from the answers below -- we sing, we distract, we talk about &quot;dirty teeth&quot; and brushing the &quot;dirty sugar&quot; away, we let him brush on his own for a while and then take over, he can see himself in the mirror, etc.&#xA;All of this helps, but one factor certainly is that he's tired, and that's natural because brushing teeth is part of the bedtime routine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2018-08-06T08:26:31.017" LastActivityDate="2018-08-06T08:26:31.017" Title="How can I brush my toddler's teeth when he won't let me?" Tags="|toddler|brushing-teeth|hygiene|" AnswerCount="29" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2011-04-05T13:34:53.953" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You're not doing it wrong, it is that bad!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter how much you are warned, nothing can prepare you for the tiredness, on top of the tiredness, on top of even more tiredness, plus the stress of new responsibility &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; holding down a job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the parents I've met after the birth of their first share a certain look when talking about this 'special' time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will feel like hell, it will feel like it never gets better and almost all of us struggled too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does &lt;strong&gt;eventually get better&lt;/strong&gt; though :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastEditorUserId="43" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T11:00:19.740" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T11:00:19.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2011-04-05T13:47:58.253" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Breastfeeding is &lt;em&gt;hard&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For all the talk about how &quot;natural&quot; breastfeeding is, nothing quite prepares you for the feeling of being a complete and total failure as a mother quite like having trouble with breastfeeding.  It's not easy, you don't &quot;naturally&quot; know exactly how to hold the baby, and he doesn't &quot;naturally&quot; know how to latch on.  If your baby latches on easily and doesn't have trouble feeding, feel lucky.  My wife had problems with all 3 of our kids because they each needed different techniques for feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your hospital should have access to a lactation counselor, or you can hunt down your local La Leche League chapter.  If you're having any trouble at all, get in contact with them -- they can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Late Edit) Another thing about breastfeeding: Don't worry or feel bad if mom can't produce enough milk to keep up with what baby demands.  Just supplement with formula (or switch to it altogether if you have to), and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="95" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T14:53:53.597" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T14:53:53.597" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="520" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="569" CreationDate="2011-04-05T14:22:24.010" Score="23" ViewCount="30619" Body="&lt;p&gt;Strollers seem to come in all ranges of prices. From $100 to well over $1000 (sorry for the US-centrism, but I'd guess it is the same in other places).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that this will probably be something that we use all the time for the next few years (or more, depending on how many babies come), I'd be willing to spend a lot of money, but I'm afraid of just being taken advantage of if I buy a product that is &lt;em&gt;just as good, at double the price&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it worth it to get an expensive stroller like, for example, the Bugaboo Frog (starting at $600)? Or is a mid-range or even a cheaper one just as durable and easy to use?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="27" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-09T11:57:50.417" LastActivityDate="2019-07-09T11:57:50.417" Title="Is an expensive stroller worth it?" Tags="|money|stroller|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2011-04-05T14:29:58.293" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't be afraid to choose to not breastfeed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had twins and tried to breastfeed them.  It lasted 2 weeks and I gave up and started pumping instead.  I got my sanity back and was still able to feed my boys breast milk.  I was making enough that they got exclusively breastmilk for 9 of their first 12 months.  I felt lucky that I was able to do that.  But if you cant it's okay.  A sane mother who is happy and loving is more important than anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have Dad bottle feed at least one time a day&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that breast is supposedly best but if you have dad bottle feed one time a day it shouldn't ruin it all.  And, if dad feeds a bottle mom can get a few hours of extra sleep at a time.  We alternated.  Mom had the boys during the morning, both parents in the afternoon and evening, and Dad took the boys at night.  It allowed us to each get 6-8 hours of sleep straight and helped everyones sanity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your only focus needs to be your child(ren)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow everything else to slide into chaos.  Your baby(ies) are the most important thing in the world at this point and loving them is your sole job.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take care of yourself&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that it breaks my prior rule but in order for you to be a happy parent you need to take time for yourself.  Take turns getting out and going to the store.  Get a sitter and go out to dinner.  Take time to lock yourself in a room and have some quiet time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T14:29:58.293" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-05T16:28:14.533" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend a travel stroller one that can be used when the baby is older. Ours was around $200 my son used it all the time until he was around 2 or so. He still used it most of the time until he was 3. He still on occasions tells me he does not want to go to the store and I will offer the stroller and his Explorer or some books and he is much happier. He is 4 now. We would be using for the current baby also because the stroller is still in great condition but we are having twins so the single stroller is out! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also think about how much of an age difference in children you are having. If you even know. If you want kids closer together I would say an expensive one may not be in your best interest because you will want to turn around and buy a double stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="73" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T16:28:14.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T16:52:14.553" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two most likely scenarios here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your child may have oral-sensory issues.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mention this possibility first not because it's more likely (it's not) than the latter, but because you want to be at least reasonably sure that it is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; the case before you push the issue.  Children with moderate-to-severe oral sensory issues tend (in my experience) to develop phobias around oral care or trying new foods when these things are forced on them repeatedly without deference to the disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oral-sensory issues of various types are not uncommon in young children, especially children who also have autism-spectrum disorders, speech problems, or other sensory problems.  Children with oral-sensory problems may experience overwhelming or confusing sensations from temperatures or textures they encounter orally (sometimes to the point of causing mindless panic).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is also a very picky eater, and reacts particularly strongly against foods with mixed textures (for example, something that is both grainy and goopy), he may have an oral-sensory problem of some kind.  The usual advice is to see a pediatrician about this, but in my experience an SLP (Speech-Language Pathologist) is usually more helpful, because the problem co-occurs with so many speech disorders that they deal with it more often than a typical pediatrician.  If you are lucky enough to find one, there are dentists who specialize in helping children with oral-sensory issues care for their teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your child may simply not be accustomed to brushing properly.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brushing takes some getting used to -- it's a funny feeling, and may even be painful if not done regularly, because the gums aren't accustomed to it.  Add to that the harsh scratchiness of chewed-up toothbrush bristles, and it's a recipe for an unpleasant experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what I'd recommend to try to fix things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Buy a new, soft, child-sized toothbrush (go for a character, lights, or some other novelty if it helps your child get interested).  Introduce it as his &quot;big boy toothbrush&quot; and DO NOT permit chewing on it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Introduce the sensation of brushing in small spurts.  Be extra gentle, and take it slow.  You can increase to normal pressure and duration when he is more accustomed to the feeling.  Find ways to make a game of it if you can, like taking turns (he brushes a little, then you brush), or brushing together to see who can brush the longest.  Let him win after about a minute and a half (length of brushing my dentist recommended for young children).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Be consistent.&lt;/em&gt;  Letting it go for a while, then trying again only adds to his resistance.  A consistent routine, morning and night, will help you build momentum and make real brushing the rule rather than an exception.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Model good brushing -- brush with your child, and let him see that it's not a bad thing. :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T16:52:14.553" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-04-05T17:06:57.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest assigning them to work together on a chore that takes a significant amount of time to complete and (ideally), requires them to work together. They should not be allowed to do anything else (except reasonable things such as meals or bathroom breaks) until the chore is done and they are on better terms. After you've gotten them going on the chore, give them a little space--but do check up on them occasionally. If they are still having problems (fighting &lt;em&gt;or&lt;/em&gt; bickering), then add more work to the chore. Of course they won't like this, but eventually they will get the idea that if they ever want to have their life back, they're going to have to work together and get the chore done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I even know of someone that went as far as to bind their children together by a wrist or an ankle while they completed the chore. Don't worry, it wasn't a painful or harmful binding, and the children could have gotten out if they wanted to (although they would have gotten in big trouble if they didn't have a very good reason). It was simply a physical reminder that they had to work together to get the chore done. Yes, it made things more difficult, but that's what they get for their behavior! I don't necessarily suggest this approach, and since your children are having problems with physical violence, it's probably not a good idea in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T17:06:57.113" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-05T18:44:03.323" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think &lt;strong&gt;an expensive stroller is definitely worth it&lt;/strong&gt;, but only &lt;strong&gt;because good quality costs money.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some silly-expensive brands out there that are worrisome in terms of ergonomics, for both the child and/or the parent; avoid those. And then some strollers are expensive simply because they're made &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt;. The stroller shouldn't start to fall apart after one year of intensive use, and it shouldn't begin to squeak and creak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We received generous funding from the family specifically to get a decent stroller (a Teutonia Mistral S), but I think I would have paid the whole sum (about €700) myself anyway. Interestingly, we also bought a used &lt;em&gt;umbrella&lt;/em&gt; stroller for €20 which we use when we go by car or plane somewhere, and when we expect to not use the stroller much at the destination. The reason is that our &quot;good&quot; stroller doesn't fold so well so it takes up much more space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What to look for, in no particular order&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;These were roughly our decision criteria, off the top of my mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can the stroller be used for a sleeping infant (decent bassinet) all the way up to an active three-year-old (seat)? If not, then you might need to buy a different stroller as the child gets older.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you get adapters for your infant car-seat? There may be a long list of useful accessories. In our case, the Teutonia Mistral S is a stroller with a detachable seat; we could put a bassinet on it, or even swap it for the infant car-seat. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the bassinet properly flat? Infants should lie completely horizontal; not all strollers allow that. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the bassinet hard-bottomed with a decent mattress (good) or is it more like a hammock or &quot;sports bag&quot; (bad)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can the child lie down properly, as an infant and also as a toddler? Is the stroller long enough for him in this position? The child must be able to lie &lt;em&gt;completely flat&lt;/em&gt;, and a half-reclined setting is an extra bonus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can the child sit comfortably, even when he's bigger?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It must be rigid enough to not rattle or wobble when you use it; poor steering is no fun.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It must be quick and easy to fold and unfold. Note that this can conflict with the previous point, especially with cheap models.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It must have decent (large) wheels so small obstacles don't stop you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The handle must be height-adjustable so that both parents can comfortably use it (I'm a lot taller than my wife). The handle should be easily adjustable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It must be as compact as possible when folded and not too heavy, so that it fits easily in your car (some shops allow you to actually test this, with your own car). Also, the wheels should be detachable, but this should not be necessary just to fit it in your car.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What kind of wheels are there? They should not be air-filled unless you enjoy fixing punctures often; choose solid rubber. They should have decent watertight ball-bearings unless you enjoy listening to squeaking nylon bearings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you use trams or buses? Make sure it fits through their narrow doors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What kind of warranty is given? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The cover must be made of UV-resistant material; not synthetic if possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There must be enough room underneath to stow things. Some models have ridiculously small cargo space, but they &lt;em&gt;look nice.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of these criteria rule out the cheapest models, some don't. Some may not be relevant to you. But the list might inspire you and help your decision-making. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can of course also go the opposite way and get a used stroller and see how long it lasts; at the very least you've avoided the expensive cost that much longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-04-05T20:02:28.090" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:02:28.090" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-04-05T19:45:56.400" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Summary: explain to each the situation separately, then create an environment where they have to work together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take the older child aside and explain that he/she is older and therefor has more responsibility to show the younger one (by action, not words) how to behave.  Also explain that he/she is better at things because of his/her age and that can make the other one more competitive which has partly lead to a rivalry.  (put this in words that makes sense in your exact situation.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take the younger child aside and explain that he/she is younger and that it's OK if he/she can't do everything the older sibling can do.  That will come soon enough.  Explain that the older one naturally feels more responsible, and this extra burden has caused some of this rivalry.  (put this in words that makes sense in your exact situation.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to them both that they're in it together, that sibling rivalry is a fact of life, but that it's gone too far.  Create a policy that when one sibling gets in trouble, they are both in trouble.  Make them share punishments for everything.  This approach works particularly well if there's a lot of tattling going on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T19:45:56.400" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="205" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:23:18.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like Steven Levitt's view in this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/steven_levitt_on_child_carseats.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;TED talk&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:23:18.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="205" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:33:54.687" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used Consumer Reports. I thought they provided a lot of useful information. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/babies-kids/baby-toddler/car-seats/index.htm?CMP=OTC-NAV4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/babies-kids/baby-toddler/car-seats/index.htm?CMP=OTC-NAV4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="179" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:33:54.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="530" PostTypeId="7" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:35:21.280" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parenting - Stack Exchange is for parents, grandparents, nannies and others who care for children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We welcome questions on topics like these:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;matters of upbringing,   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;safety considerations,   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;food and feeding,   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;health and hygiene,   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;development and growth,   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;language development,   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;behavior and social skills,   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;discipline and punishment,  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;childrens'/family games for developmental purposes or parental sanity.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some subjects might be on-topic here but &lt;strong&gt;you can get better response on &lt;a href=&quot;http://stackexchange.com/sites&quot;&gt;our sister sites&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;for instance:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Scientific questions about child psychology (see the developmental-psychology tag on &lt;a href=&quot;http://cogsci.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/developmental-psychology&quot;&gt;Cognitive Sciences SE&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sports and fitness (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://fitness.stackexchange.com&quot;&gt;fitness.SE&lt;/a&gt;),  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;computer games, educational software, other IT questions (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://superuser.com&quot;&gt;superuser&lt;/a&gt;),  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;school-based teaching (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://area51.stackexchange.com/proposals/23685/pedagogy&quot;&gt;this proposal&lt;/a&gt;),  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;family finances (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://money.stackexchange.com&quot;&gt;money.SE&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And &lt;strong&gt;some subjects are considered off-topic&lt;/strong&gt; because they're not directly related to &lt;em&gt;parenting&lt;/em&gt;,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;for instance:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;specific medical issues (we're not doctors!),  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;legal issues (too localized),  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;shopping recommendations (too localized, and not timeless),  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;relationships (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://area51.stackexchange.com/proposals/11376/relationships&quot;&gt;this proposal&lt;/a&gt;),  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sex,  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;generic and universal questions that are lazily worded &quot;... for kids&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that opinions shared here should be backed up either &lt;strong&gt;with a reference,&lt;/strong&gt; or experiences that &lt;strong&gt;happened to you personally.&lt;/strong&gt; Also, posts that primarily exist to push a specific agenda (propaganda), and soap-boxing, are not welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-27T12:05:42.550" LastActivityDate="2012-06-27T12:05:42.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="205" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:42:00.480" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://which.co.uk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;which.co.uk&lt;/a&gt; does some very good reviews (more tests than are required by law), but it is a subscription service.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="184" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:42:00.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:43:42.843" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;On some level, there will always be a rivalry between children that are relatively close (&amp;lt; 3 or 4 years) in age, and it will take a while for your children to get old enough to get some perspective on their relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the rivalry is clearly one-sided, as in one sibling is usually the instigator of any kind of altercation, you can work on improving the self-image if the instigator. His/her need for competition or conflict with the other sibling may stem from the (hopefully untrue) idea that the other sibling is somehow &quot;better&quot; than they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when it's all said and done, you can set the rules and make sure they are very clear. You can also ensure that there is immediate consequences to behavior that goes beyond the rules. But after this, the only thing you can do is encourage them to get along, and prevent them from doing anything too terrible to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:43:42.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:48:51.487" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter was the same with the sucking and chewing but one trick we use that has worked really well is one parent brushing at the same time while the other parent is the 'judge' and seeing who can make the loudest noise while smiling and brushing up and down/ side to side,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once it became a game with a bit of competition she happily stands there brushing for quite a while and 'making the noise' ensures she does it properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;..also sometimes she likes to watch herself brushing her teeth in the mirror - if you have a big enough mirror then you can stand beside him so he can compare how you do it against how he does it; it's our fallback when the noise game fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="197" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:48:51.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="443" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:50:49.753" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has recently started doing this all by his own, just because we did it (in a typical 3yo way he did it way too often). Children under 7 should only be using a pea-sized amount of toothpaste to minimise swallowing, so I wouldn't worry, I'm sure they will adjust in their own time. Brush your teeth together, and just keep encouraging them every time you do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="184" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:50:49.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:55:56.297" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question is impossible to answer, as crappy strollers exist in all price ranges. Go to a baby store and try to open and close all the strollers &lt;em&gt;with one hand&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="199" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:55:56.297" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-05T20:59:29.913" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have pointed out, if you've reached the point of physical punishment, you've already lost the battle.  Fear can be a great motivator and is often confused with respect.  It also only works for a while.  Really all you are teaching is that violence is a way to solve your problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Countless studies have shown that negative reinforcement doesn't work nearly as well as positive.  In most cases, you're teaching the child to avoid the punishment not change their behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find that walking over and gently touching my 4-year-old works better even than yelling from across the room.  (when he's pretending not to hear me)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also working on the concept of the &quot;micro timeout&quot;.  If he sasses me or makes a rude noise I make him stand in the middle of the room and count to 15.  It has the advantage of immediacy and also breaking up the &quot;dance&quot; that parents and kids can get into.  Sometimes his response leads to a full-on timeout, but I think this technique shows some promise...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="200" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T20:59:29.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="537" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="545" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:02:23.763" Score="10" ViewCount="580" Body="&lt;p&gt;What qualities should I look for in educational iPad apps for children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="206" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-19T13:38:28.657" LastActivityDate="2018-09-19T13:39:15.943" Title="What should I look for in educational iPad apps for children?" Tags="|education|activities|tablet-computer|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:09:12.523" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;General rule: If you find yourself asking whether or not you need something, you don't need it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="199" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T21:09:12.523" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T03:49:57.797" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:18:40.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer would have to be, &quot;It depends&quot;.  We have an umbrella stroller for traveling and for use in the house when our baby was very young (before he could crawl around on his own).  We got both an inexpensive Chicco one as well as a somewhat more expensive MacLaren.  They both worked pretty well, except that we actually travel with the MacLaren because it's lighter.  So, for this category, my experience is that the $100-or-so stuff is just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These umbrella strollers have limited utility, however, so I also got a BOB stroller, and it has been fantastic.  The quality of construction and its ruggedness are worth every penny.  I use it for jogging, as well as when we go out to the park and or outdoor festivals.  It is clearly superior in construction and performance to the Graco car set+stroller system that we got before he was born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, the carseat+stroller combo thing from Graco has been almost useless for us.  We used the carseat all the time, and the removable bases are a godsend, but the stroller was not that useful for us.  When we did have to taken him out with us, we would just use a Baby Bjorn or carry him by hand.  We almost never lugged around the carseat, and the stroller for it is so bulky as to be impractical.  I would say that my assessment of these combo systems echoes Lennart's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I would not spend a ton of money on a Bugaboo combo.  Your baby will outgrow the bassinet within a few months, and he/she will want to be carried around/worn instead of sitting in a carseat.  In terms of pure stroller, I think the BOB is at least comparable if not better, for about half the cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="181" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T21:18:40.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="537" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:21:26.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you've already specified that the app should be educational, I would say the next important quality should be &lt;em&gt;entertaining&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="218" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T21:21:26.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:24:32.427" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell him:&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Father&lt;/strong&gt; is not only a title, its a job.&#xA;You may not be his biological father by title,&#xA;&lt;br/&gt;but you have the job of his being his father and you plan to do it as well as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="216" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T21:24:32.427" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:26:03.330" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter displayed many of the same behaviors your cite and we had to resort to having one parent hold her while the other brushed her teeth properly. What we found helpful, though, was to have the parent brushing the teeth to say the vowels aloud - &lt;em&gt;Aaaaaa, Eeeeeeeeee, Iiiiiiiiiii, Ooooooooooo, Uuuuuuuuuuu, and sometimes Yyyyyyyyyyyyyy&lt;/em&gt; - and to encourage her to say them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few times, she lessened her resistance. Our thought was that she understood that when the vowels ended, the brushing would end, giving her a cue as to how long the session would last and how close it was to ending. It also gave her something to do. Not long after she started saying the vowel sounds, too, which further distracted her and made brushing easier for everyone involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to try is to have another parent brush his or her teeth at the same time. Let your son see that brushing teeth is something his parents do, as well. Children are naturally interested in imitating the behaviors of their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If none of the above work, try compromising by letting your son brush his own teeth himself &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; you brush them. (This works particularly well if he's at that stage where he wants to do everything himself.) In short, you explain that you will brush his teeth - &lt;em&gt;Aaaaaa, Eeeeeeeeee, Iiiiiiiiiii, Ooooooooooo, Uuuuuuuuuuu, and sometimes Yyyyyyyyyyyyyy&lt;/em&gt; - and afterwards he can hold the brush and brush them himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T21:26:03.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:26:14.057" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I try to use distraction techniques. My son tends not to mind the brushing if I occupy his attention with something else. At first I used &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl8pxaxxReo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;short videos&lt;/a&gt;, but for a very long time now I've made up a story on the spot after asking him for a &quot;topic.&quot; If I'm not feeling particularly creative, I'll try to recount our day or talk to him about some upcoming event he's excited about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="220" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T21:26:14.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:30:47.003" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got the MOST effective improvement in our son's brushing habits by moving away from the &quot;kids tooth paste&quot; in bubble-gum-tooti-fruiti-cherry-so-sweet-you-wanna-puke flavor to just plain old non-flouridated baking soda tooth paste. He still wants to suck on it a little bit, and chews to some extent on the bristles, but that one change alone was like a night and day difference for him. He'd of course rather do it himself, but he doesn't seem to fight as much when we step in and help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately I've been using &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/517/toddler-doesnt-like-getting-his-teeth-brushed/533#533&quot;&gt;Vic's modeling&lt;/a&gt; idea to great success. I prep his and my toothbrush at the same time (with the same toothpaste) then we sit across from each other face to face and brush together. I step through the various parts and he at least tries to do them. And it keeps him distracted from eating it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T06:22:51.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="537" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:30:56.357" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; important thing &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to do is to choose an app for the child and then &lt;em&gt;expect that they like it&lt;/em&gt;. If they don’t wanna use it, don’t act disappointed or even offended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can think of a few things that you should &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; look for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid apps that set stereotypical school-like problems (e.g. algebra), unless the child has already demonstrated that he/she likes those.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid apps that patronise the child (e.g. by saying “oh you’re so clever — for a kid”).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid having expectations, as this sets the child up for failure. Don’t use the iPad to “test” the child in a way that can disappoint your expectations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, when people talk about “educational” apps, they usually mean one of the above. In that sense, I find that very few “educational” apps have educational value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I think the best way to find a good app for your child is to get lots of them and let the child try them all. The only reasonable arbiter for what suits your child is your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If/when the child settles on a favourite app, it will almost certainly not be what you envisaged. This shouldn’t alarm you. Do not act worried that the child is doing “the wrong thing”. Instead, use the opportunity to get to know your child better :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="217" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T21:30:56.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:31:28.423" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Back when our little one came along we faced the same issue, so I'll share some of my experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Price Does Not Indicate Quality&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;br/&gt;We discovered that some of the expensive strollers were really not any better than some &quot;cheaper&quot; strollers, so price is not a good indicator of quality.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a &quot;Stroller/Carseat&quot; Solution&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;br/&gt;Some strollers are more of a &quot;complete stroller solution&quot; and these will run more.  Our favorite feature of our stroller when our son was still an infant was that the baby-seat could detach from the stroller and attach to a base in the car.  We were &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; happy with the carseat/stroller combo solution.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reuse/Remains Useful Over Time&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br/&gt;At times having the larger &quot;jogging&quot; stroller was really useful later on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A Pivoting Front Wheel (For Big Strollers)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br/&gt;We always wished we would have had a front wheel that would pivot -- ours was fixed, so we had to lift the front wheel off the ground in order to turn the stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Cheap Folding Stroller Was Awesome&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br/&gt;When our son was able to sit upright, we heavily favored a second smaller folding stroller (often called an &quot;Umbrella Stroller&quot;) that we bought for around $20.  It was &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more convenient than the heavier jogging stroller (which also folded up).  We preferred to use the smaller stroller 95% of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastEditorUserId="12" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T23:01:30.433" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T23:01:30.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="547" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-05T21:48:44.657" Score="5" ViewCount="5068" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you deal with a primary-school age child (range 5-7) who enjoys getting others into trouble? Is actually alert for minor wrongdoings and likes to set other people against each other? Can be other children, siblings, and even adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a distressing to observe because &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's despised by society in general - English has many derogatory&#xA;words for this such as &quot;snitch&quot;, &quot;sneak&quot;, &quot;stirrer&quot;, &quot;troublemaker&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and because you fear it's indicative of low self-esteem, as in the&#xA;child needing to feel big and important through this mechanism.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-02-08T14:57:56.017" LastActivityDate="2020-10-02T16:49:13.770" Title="How do you handle a child who enjoys getting others into trouble?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|social-development|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-05T22:15:17.963" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think when (if) he says it, you should not appear overly hurt by it, even if you are. And especially &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; angry. If he is saying it to hurt you, in a moment of anger (as all teenagers tend to have from time to time), knowing that it is a way to get to you could encourage them to do it more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may not happen, I had a step dad and a step mum, I felt more rebellious towards the latter than the former. This was just to do with the interactions I had growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="184" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T22:15:17.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2011-04-05T22:21:27.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keep a muslin by every seat - you will get through several in a day and baby wipes will become your best friend, accept any and all offers of vests and babygro's as they will likely be changed almost hourly - ensure you have a washing machine and tumble dryer/ space for drying as it will be running almost daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't beat yourself up for feeling resentful of anything - it's natural for you both and will happen as you adjust to your new way of life, just try to remember that caring for a baby is far more tiring than the average full time job because there is no real chance for a rest break and no distraction; try to bear that in mind if you get in from work and she immediately hands you the child so she can go and hide in the bedroom/ bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;3 is the number to be wary of&lt;/h3&gt; &#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3rd day is one of the worst because it's all just started to sink in and you feel overwhelmed, miserable, helpless, useless and the worst parent EVER; this feeling can persist for a few days (if longer than that seek help as could be onset of post natal depression)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3 weeks - feeding pattern starts to change again as growth spurt hits and the kid NEVER STOPS EATING - or crying.. it's at this point I have to agree completely with all breastfeeding comments; don't be dictated to by the breastfeeding nazis it is HARD WORK: Tell her to express milk if she can or supplement with formula but make sure you (the daddy) manage at least one feed a day otherwise all joy in the child may be (literally) sucked away by the feeling of being nothing but a feeding machine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;What mess?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;invest in a manual carpet/ floor sweeper &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/8553188/c_1/1%7Ccategory_root%7CKitchen+and+laundry%7C14418476/c_2/2%7C14418476%7CLaundry+and+cleaning%7C14418551/c_3/3%7Ccat_14418551%7CCarpet+sweepers%7C14418562.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;example&lt;/a&gt; it can feel like too much hassle to drag out the hoover (and the noise tends to scare the baby) but you'll be amazed at the lift you'll get if you can give the place a quick tidy up when you get in every night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;..having said that, don't kill yourselves making the place spotless but if you can keep it so you can see the carpet and most surfaces it helps you feel more in control and less inclined to succumbing to the aforementioned hopeless/ overwhelmed feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;little things stack up&lt;/h3&gt; &#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tips like the above help but add to it with habits like always using the same mug/ glass and just rinsing it out to save on washing up, batch cooking and freezing meals for the week ahead, snacking on fruits, nuts and seeds throughout the day instead of alternate starving and eating a big meal; having regular take out nights saves both time and energy and gives you both a 'treat' to look forward to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just try and do the unimportant things the 'lazy way' &#xA;By the end of the first 6-8 months you'll be throwing the baby back and forth like he's a sack of spuds and will know what all his little noises mean and can relax and pick up the slack with the things that have really bugged you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until then just hang in there as best you can secure in the knowledge you have the sympathy and best wishes of every other parent who's been there before you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="197" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T22:21:27.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T22:47:11.013" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd go crazy too having someone brush my teeth. ;) I can only recommend to relax. Brush yours and let him find his way to do it. It will come if you can show him that you are convinced that he is capable of doing it properly. And as long as it does not, remember that it is &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; fear that lets him very little room to decide about &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; body. Don't force him into resignation. Let him explore and let him know it's his realm. And let him experience unbrushed tooth, too. This is where we take our motivation to brush ours! And it's not really that dangerous as we tend to think to go to bed without having your tooth brushed properly. The harm that can be done to the relationship between you and your child by forcing it is much worse than some potential hole in a tooth. Just imagine the respect he will experience when you ask him if he wants help and you would accept his no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other day on a familylab talk there was a mother telling about the big fights she has with her daughter because the daughter doesn't want to brush her teeth. The mother was asking for advice. Mathias Voelchert from familylab asked her if she could try to not care about her teeth for the next 14 days. It wouldn't be the end for her teeth but could be a beautiful 2 weeks for their relationship. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="214" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T22:47:11.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T23:12:24.200" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The thing that in my experience helps the most is letting the child brush your teeth while you brush theirs. It makes brushing fun for the kid - might not be as fun for you as you try to cope, but a) it gives the child an active role instead of just standing around with open mouth; b) it shows trust; c) it makes the time pass more quickly for the child; d) it gives you a new perspective into just how difficult it is to stand agape while someone scrapes the insides of your mouth, which makes you a better, more patient and gentle brusher in the long run. For the more passive approach, telling a story about a girl/boy who didn't brush (and the consequences) is a tested method that works well. I'd also echo cabbey's sentiment about plain-chalk, non-flouridated toothpaste. Children's toothpastes are disgusting, sickeningly sweet and normal &quot;adult&quot; ones are too strong and minty. We use a &quot;chalky&quot; toothpaste with some herb essential oils, it's mild and doesn't leave a strong aftertaste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, distracting the child is a wrong approach. It reinforces brushing as a boring chore, and doesn't communicate how important it is and why. If brushing is something a child endures, they won't learn how to do it well and they'll hate having to do it later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="236" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T23:12:24.200" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-05T23:16:34.277" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let him know that you love him very much and that you have rules for his betterment.  Also, If you feel hurt by that statement you should tell him.  It is important that people in general understand when they have hurt someone.  If he knows how much you love him and realizes that he is hurting someone that loves him by saying that then he may start to think better of it.  It is not a weakness to let children know that they have hurt you.  It is also not a weakness for them to see you cry.  Don't turn on the tears to make him feel guilty, but if makes you cry don't try and hide it to &quot;play the man&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="238" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T23:16:34.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T23:30:40.930" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a toothbrushing song that I made up.  It's a pretty stupid song, but he's small and doesn't care.  I start the song as I brush his teeth and then stop sing at some point in the song and let him say the next word then start singing again.  I do this a few times throughout the song.  It keeps him engaged.  Sometimes I'll even say the wrong word in the song and then we'll both laugh about it and say &quot;No&quot;, and then I keep going.  For us that worked really well.  Like I said it's not a a great song by any stretch of the imagination, but two-year-olds don't really care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="238" LastActivityDate="2011-04-05T23:30:40.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-05T23:45:20.940" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three children and each was a different experience in getting them to consistently brush their teeth.  My oldest is 11 and unfortunately we were not very consistent with her as a youngster.  She never wanted to brush her teeth. She brushes her teeth on her own now, but only because of what we did with the younger ones. My two youngest are 6 and 4.  We made a conscious effort to display that both mom and dad brush their teeth every morning and night, and even after meals by making a big show of it while they were toddlers and barely had teeth.  By the time they got a full set they were begging to do their own.  As they got older we stayed consistent modeling the behavior and making it obvious.  This in turn has helped my oldest also begin to make brushing at least twice a day a habit.  My point: show your child(ren) the behavior you want them to have.  Be consistent and have patience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="240" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T20:56:31.410" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T20:56:31.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-04-05T23:59:54.260" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sister and I used to have a big rivalry going on, but once we got old enough she quit annoying me so bad and I enjoyed having her around a lot more.  The rivalry is likely to work itself out, which is best, but that doesn't mean you just sit back and watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like others said, harmful behavior should be stopped immediately, and things such as name calling should be called out. Remind the kids that they need to treat each other with respect, even if they do not like each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you can give gentle nudges to each child to do something nice for their sibling. Sometimes doing something nice for someone else is a great way to change ones attitude towards that person, but if they are fighting a lot they are likely to not notice things they can do for each other, so giving a suggestion to one sibling or the other could help that process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bit of psychology that I heard helps to develop close friendships (although I'm not sure how reliable it is) is for one sibling to ask a favor of the other sibling. This seems to help start workplace friendships and might work in the home as well.  Going out of your way to help someone with something they asked for help on can cause you to want to try harder at the relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I hope some of this info was helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastEditorUserId="42" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T01:05:38.187" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T01:05:38.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-04-06T00:21:35.137" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The book &quot;12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old&quot; worked absolutely fantastically with our daughter. Right at 12 weeks, she started sleeping 12 hours straight every night, and 2.5 years later, nothing's changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only times she hasn't slept through the night have been when she was sick, and a few times during teething.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've got a second kid on the way in four weeks, and we'll definitely be following the same strategy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said: We've recommended it to a few friends of ours, and they &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; failed at it. The main reason is that it requires some incredible consistency during weeks 6-12, and can be very difficult on the parents. None of them had the will power to keep going with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key aspect of the book is getting the kid on a fixed feeding schedule. I don't know why that's so vital (the author never gives a &quot;why&quot;, just &quot;what&quot;), but it really is. At about week 6 you start slowing increasing the times between feedings, until you get to four feedings per day, four hours apart. So by the end we were feeding our daughter at 8am, 12pm, 4pm and 8pm. This is where all of our friends fell apart. When your kid is screaming to eat, and you &quot;can't let them&quot; for another 10 minutes, it's INCREDIBLY difficult. But trust me, you'll be fine, the kid will be fine, and the end result of 12 hours sleep is &lt;em&gt;priceless&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="244" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T00:21:35.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="502" CreationDate="2011-04-06T00:37:31.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've discovered a lot of new board games and other various content through GeekDad(http://www.wired.com/geekdad/).  It's much more of an active blog than a searchable site with reviews and it contains a lot of content other than what you're asking about, but it's well made and highlights a lot of great things I probably wouldn't have otherwise found.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user245" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T00:37:31.850" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T00:37:31.850" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-06T02:02:34.543" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;We played dentist with our kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First I would welcome them like my dentist does, &quot;Hello Mr. G! My name is Dr. G. and I'll be your dentist today. Is there anything I need to know before we begin?&quot; I was surprised at how often my kids had canker sores that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then they would lie down in my lap (sometimes this was easier to do in bed) and I would count their teeth, just like the dentist, carefully brush each one, expressing great appreciation for how beautiful their teeth were and how much care they were taking of them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This game was surprisingly popular with my two, with both being eager to be first. They really enjoyed the formality of being treated like an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T02:02:34.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="563" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-06T03:10:26.457" Score="5" ViewCount="421" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10 months old daughter and I have no experience regarding parenting at all. She seems to be very curious about the details of objects. For example when given a toy she always finds the small texts on the back or side of it and tries to touch them. She is also particularly interested in my all text books or any picture that has kind of a pattern. Is this normal for this age? This makes me feel she has the potential to become a smart person. I was wondering if this is true? And if yes are there methods to help her use this potential and improve her creativity?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="248" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:38:23.853" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T12:38:23.853" Title="What methods improve creativity at an early age?" Tags="|toddler|infant|teaching|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="564" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="682" CreationDate="2011-04-06T03:11:48.547" Score="6" ViewCount="3088" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are some excellent cartoons that teach languages, like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wordworld.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Word World&lt;/a&gt;, but I'm having a hard time finding ones about math. There's of course Count von Count and other math-related characters on Sesame Street, but I'm looking for animated cartoons with mostly mathematical themes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="249" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:35:04.620" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T12:35:04.620" Title="What cartoons teach basic math?" Tags="|education|television|math|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="563" CreationDate="2011-04-06T03:17:30.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is the same way. My approach is to spend more time with her, playing, doing things together. At that age it is simple things like opening and closing a box, putting a small object into a bigger bucket, turning pages of a book (those soft, cloth ones are great), pointing at things and naming them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually they'll start doing things like turning a radio on and bringing a remote to switch a radio to a music channel they like. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="206" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T03:17:30.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="566" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-06T03:22:20.100" Score="14" ViewCount="84269" Body="&lt;p&gt;Has anyone had experience with the discipline strategies put forth in &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1889140430&quot;&gt;the book &quot;1 2 3 Magic&quot; by Thomas W Phelan&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;1-2-3 Magic&quot; involves counting your child for bad behavior. For example, your child talks back to you...you say &quot;That's 1&quot;. They do it again, you say &quot;That's 2&quot;, and again you say &quot;That's 3, Take 5&quot; (or 1 minute per age of the child). Hitting is an automatic time-out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are experimenting with them, but I'd love to know what the consensus of the group is regarding their effectiveness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="155" LastEditorUserId="64" LastEditDate="2012-02-13T00:39:31.663" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T16:59:23.957" Title="Is the &quot;1 2 3 Magic&quot; strategy for disciplining effective? " Tags="|discipline|books|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-06T03:25:40.500" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Buy a wall-mounted hospital-style sanitizer dispenser or two. I have two PURELL NXT brand dispensers and use them a good deal. In a rush somewhat sanitized hands are better than nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/euigN.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/euigN.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;(source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/413GGy%2B51fL._SL500_AA300_.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;images-amazon.com&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="249" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2019-02-16T23:21:09.983" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T03:49:57.797" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-06T03:33:50.463" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another strange thing that I wish I had the foresight to buy earlier are &amp;quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.poolcenter.com/pooltoys_car_seat_safety_programs.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pool noodles&lt;/a&gt;&amp;quot;. They are logs of some kind of high density foam plastic, and are commonly used to secure car seats. Properly securing a car seat is more difficult than the instruction manuals lead you to believe. You can also use rolled up towels, but pool noodles work better for some reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/tyeh9.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/tyeh9.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;(source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31rMnxDpCPL._SL500_AA300_.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;images-amazon.com&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's an even better idea to find a fire department or similar institution that provides car seat installation inspections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="249" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2019-02-16T23:21:06.453" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T03:49:57.797" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-06T03:37:09.790" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Going through strollers for 5 kids (2 of which are twins), we've been learned quite a bit about what is good and what isn't. When it comes to price, here is what we've learned:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid the ultra expensive primary stroller&lt;/strong&gt; - We test drove some ultra expensive strollers, and have had friends who have owned them, and there wasn't a single thing that the expensive stroller gave us above and beyond a stroller that was 1/6 to 1/10th the price. Durability is a moot point, because mid-range strollers are just as durable. We've had mid-range strollers that we've gone through all of our kids with and have held up just fine.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a small expensive second stroller&lt;/strong&gt; - The place to splurge on a stroller is when buying a small/portable stroller. You can get a cheap $10-$20 USD umbrella stroller, but its not worth it. The cheap umbrella strollers are uncomfortable for kids, break and fall apart easier, typically don't allow for attachments, and are harder to push and turn. We used McClaren Volo strollers (which are available in many countries) for our small compact strollers. These are about $100-$150 USD new, but they are very durable, very light, and our kids were always comfortable on them. You can easily find them on sale online or get them used for a fraction of the price. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a mid-price-range jogger&lt;/strong&gt; - You don't have to spend too much, but get a jogging stroller as your second stroller. The best one we had was a double stroller that cost $120 USD. A jogger is a practical choice because the ultra-expensive buggy strollers are not as practical for all types of use. You can use the jogging stroller for casual use, as well as for exercise. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a neutral color&lt;/strong&gt; - If you're not done having kids, make sure you get a neutral color so you don't have to buy a new stroller if you have a child of the opposite sex.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few additional stroller tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you want a double stroller, go for side by side rather than front / back. These are generally easier to push and have easier / better sun protection.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Always look for a pivoting front wheel. The fixed front wheels tend to get misaligned (particularly on joggers), and its a hassle to keep fixing them. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure you have good sun protection. Pull down canopies or attachments are definitely needed for summer use.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a mesh cover for your larger stroller (jogger) if you live in a city that may have mosquitoes. The mesh also acts as a sun barrier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The combo strollers that allow an infant seat are hit or miss. Make sure you try to remove and lock the car seat into the stroller several times before you buy to make sure its easy to remove. Also make sure the seat belt and carrying arm latch are easy to open/close.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Always try the buckles out and make sure whomever will use it the most is comfortable getting them on / off.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure the seat(s) can recline all the way back so your child(ren) can sleep comfortably if they fall asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure it has adequate storage room for things like a blanket, bag, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-06-01T19:13:30.717" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T19:13:30.717" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="563" CreationDate="2011-04-06T03:42:59.753" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, as the brain develops and becomes more capable of new things, there are different activities that you can do with your child to stimulate creativity and learning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good book to read on the topic is called &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553378252&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life&lt;/a&gt;. The author goes through different stages of child development then tells you different things that you can do to encourage and stimulate your child based on the brain-development milestones they've met.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T03:42:59.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2011-04-06T04:31:20.787" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At two years old, your son is very likely aware that he is exposed to two different languages (although he might not be able to verbalize this knowledge yet). It is definitely important to be consistent. There are many strategies to raise a bilingual child. For example, you can decide to always speak Portuguese to your child, no matter where you are. That way, it will likely become quite natural for your son to speak Portuguese with you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are different strategies you can use when other people are around that don't speak your language (e.g., your child's friends, at the playground, etc.). For example, you can continue to speak Portuguese but provide a simultaneous translation to the person(s) or translate only the important parts or, depending on how comfortable the friends are with not understanding, you might not have to provide a translation at all. You can also speak Portuguese when only addressing your son and English when addressing your son + the friends, or you can switch to English when friends are around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="251" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-22T19:51:59.587" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T19:51:59.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-06T05:38:26.703" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two children of our own and operate an in-home childcare, so we have had some experience with good and not-so-good strollers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our first child was born, we were given a Single jogging stroller by Baby Trend.  It worked fairly well for our purposes, but it wasn't terribly durable and wasn't really made for speed.  We passed it on before our second child came along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we started the daycare we were given a used side-by-side double jogging stroller that was originally more expensive and of decent quality.  I can't remember the brand now, but it had a stationary front wheel which was challenging to maneuver with heavier children on board.  We passed this one along because it was just too difficult.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a single convenience stroller (just a step up from a really cheap umbrella stroller) for running errands in the car.  I can clip our infant car seat onto it, or use it for our toddler, it is light weight and great for traveling.  Not very expensive or of super high quality, but it has held up and continues to be just what we need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a triple side-by-side for the daycare that has two swivel wheels on the front, but I have to say that my favorite stroller that we have ever owned has been our double side-by-side jogger by BOB.  I got it used for less that half the price of a new one and I absolutely love it!  It is so easy to maneuver, light weight, and plenty of room for both kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, it really depends on what types of conditions you anticipate needing a stroller.  It is nice to have something compact, light weight and easy to maneuver for shopping trips or traveling.  It is also a good idea to get a jogging-type stroller with bigger wheels that can handle uneven sidewalks or trails without waking the baby or making their ride uncomfortable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Price is relative.  There are some expensive brands that really aren't worth it.  When I saw BOB strollers, I didn't really know what all the hype was about, but now that I have one I get it and I will never own another cheapo stroller.  I also can't justify paying full price for a stroller that will get a lot of use, but only for a short period of time, so all of our strollers have either been given to us, used, or inexpensive.  Try out a few and find out what works for you.         &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T05:38:26.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-06T05:54:21.463" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my childhood I had one parent who used physical punishment more frequently and one that used it rarely.  I cannot remember most of the reasons for the punishment from my father, but I still remember what I had done to warrant the discipline from my mother.  I had done something that was very unsafe and I had been asked not to do it and been told what the consequence would be- when I disobeyed she fdoollowed through.  This was followed by a hug and she talked to me about what I had done and why I received the spanking.  Her discipline method got my attention, stopped the behavior, and she taught me something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our older child has been spanked, but I try to follow my mother's model and teach him something in the process.  We try to use other methods of discipline before spanking such as allowing him to take some space, talking about things, etc.  Usually something else will work, but if he is doing something unsafe and has been warned, one spanking will get his attention.  I never want my children to fear me or behave out of fear of punishment.  My job is to guide them and teach them, but sometimes my teaching is better heard when I have his attention.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T05:54:21.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="574" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="781" CreationDate="2011-04-06T06:09:15.733" Score="17" ViewCount="1021" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3.5-year-old son has picked up a catchphrase/joke punchline from somewhere... but we can't figure out where it came from, his teachers can't figure it out, his daycare teachers can't figure it out, and google has been no help at all. I even thought it might be some kind of mis-pronunciation degradation of something else. But &quot;dinosaur&quot; and &quot;button&quot; are both very clear, and are words well established in his vocabulary... he knows what they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Dinosaur, on the button!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a few different ways he presents it... the most common is to get our attention with a &quot;hey mom&quot; or &quot;moooommmmiiieeeee....&quot; and when we acknowledge him, he tells us, very matter of factly and proudly, &quot;Dinosaur on the button.&quot; At other times it just comes out like a frustrated teenager trying to explain to the old folks why some concert tickets are an absolutely necessity... with an air of exasperation applied to the &quot;on the button&quot; bit. Once or twice, the dinosaur has been on something else... on the sofa, on the window... but it's pretty much always on the button. Dozens of times an hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought this was a short lived thing, a few days like everything else with toddlers seems to be when they first get it in their heads and are playing with it. But it's not going away, we're easily closing on a month now. I'm not trying to shut it down, &lt;strong&gt;we'd love to get into this fascination of his with him and help him explore it... but no clue what it is!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone recognize this from any kind of toddler media? Books, music, TV, movies? For all I know it's something one of his friends brought into school or daycare in their head and he picked it up from them. (in which case, it would be one of the more acceptable things he's picked up from them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-08-21T12:21:29.157" LastActivityDate="2019-08-21T12:21:50.353" Title="Does anyone recognize where the phrase &quot;Dinosaur on the button&quot; comes from?" Tags="|pre-schooler|communication|language|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-04-06T07:06:19.353" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sibling rivalry is one of those things (like gas in newborns) that's going to happen anyway, and the only way to really &quot;cure&quot; it is to let the time pass for them to grow out of it.&#xA;It also varies with the gender of the children. Per this question, it sounds like two boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some basics for handling the inevitable rivalry:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No fighting. If they fight, they both get punished. It takes two to tango. If only one raises a hand, and the other doesn't respond violently, that one gets punished and the other gets an encouraging word.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Language. If they're rude to each other, remind them of their manners quietly and sternly. They will always try to show that they are &quot;better&quot; than their sibling, and it won't really stop. In my opinion, the best thing is not to dignify it with a response, or to shrug it off. For example:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Dad, Billy says that he's much better at football, and I'll never be good at it&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;So, Billy said something, don't let it bug you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No attention. Sometimes, these things are just a way of getting your attention. Give them enough attention otherwise, and show them (actions, not words) that fighting will not get them any extra attention from you. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to make sure there is less to bicker about. They will always fight about who is &quot;better&quot;, that's unavoidable. They will also fight about sharing, TV channels, use of the treehouse or whatever, and that is avoidable. No-one really &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; a TV, for example. For sharing, my dad had the greatest method. If we had to share a candy bar, one of us would cut it in half, and the other would get to choose which half they want. That way fairness is preserved, and there's nothing to fight about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As ever, there is no single right answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastEditorUserId="14" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T20:56:27.027" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T20:56:27.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-06T07:09:35.640" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Never.&lt;/strong&gt; Never ever. Ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry to be blunt, yes, but that's just the way it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that I'm not saying &quot;hand's off your child&quot;. Sure, it may be required to get physical with the child to prevent them from doing something. Even to a point where it hurts them. It may be required to hold them down, roughly even. Sure. But that's a lot different from physical &lt;em&gt;punishment&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Physical punishment is about deliberately hurting your child for the sake of hurting. (I mean that the hurting is what is used there cause the effect, it's essential to the punishment.) Some may try to sugar-coat it by saying that you don't really &quot;want&quot; to hurt the child and but that it's good for them. Well, guess what, it isn't good for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is physical punishment an immediately effective means of teaching the child what they shouldn't do? Sure. It's an easy way out, for the parent. But you have a huge risk of teaching the child to be violent and making them emotionally insecure. (I will try to link this to some studies later, when I have more time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; an alternative. Maybe an alternative method of punishment (tips: unforced seclusion and inattention are good ones). Many times, you don't even need to go as far as punishment, just teaching the child it was wrong (and &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; it was wrong) will do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can think of only one situation where physical punishment would be ok. Wait... No, I really can't, unless I want to go absurd. If you, the reader, are using physical punishment, I'm sure you just didn't have enough information. So stop it right now. There's nothing wrong in having being wrong, there is a lot wrong in continuing to be wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="258" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T07:09:35.640" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="563" CreationDate="2011-04-06T07:15:16.137" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Creativity and curiosity occurr naturally in children. All you need is to do two simple things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, stay out of the way. A lot of modern education is actually beating the creativity and imagination out of children. 10 months is too young for this to be a problem, obviously. You just need to make sure you're not &lt;em&gt;discouraging&lt;/em&gt; any of this, by forcing activities that don't need to be forced or by taking away the interesting things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, keep on supplying her with interesting stuff to investigate. Different colours, textures, smells, flavours, sounds or anything. It doesn't need to be anything specifically for children. Sometimes, the car keys and the box the DVD Player came in are the best toys. Just let her play, and keep the new experiences coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, what I'm saying is that you don't need to worry about it too  much. You don't need to &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; anything, as such. Just let it happen naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T07:15:16.137" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="547" CreationDate="2011-04-06T08:12:17.070" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try showing the same attitude towards him, if it's gone too far. Follow it up with explanation that this is what others feel when he does such things to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T08:12:17.070" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="580" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-06T10:47:24.940" Score="4" ViewCount="1047" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 3.5 and knows his alphabets well.&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;Now I want to tech him words, any suggestions on what videos / cartoons would be apt.&#xA;Of course I am talking about English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently I am checking out LeapFrog video series.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="267" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:29:57.950" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T12:29:57.950" Title="What are some videos or cartoons that teach vocabulary words?" Tags="|education|teaching|learning|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="580" CreationDate="2011-04-06T11:08:40.633" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might look into &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyeinstein.com/home/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Baby Einstein&lt;/a&gt; videos. These are often available from the library. &#xA;Leap Frog has a good reputation. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sesamestreet.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sesame Street&lt;/a&gt; is an oldie but goodie. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nickjr.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Nick Jr&lt;/a&gt;. has some good things too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/564/61&quot;&gt;this post&lt;/a&gt; mentions Word World videos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some great apps for the iPhone. The ones we use are called &lt;a href=&quot;http://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/word-magic/id293630633?mt=8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Word Magic&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/dolch-flash-cards-dolch/id373224253?mt=8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sight Words&lt;/a&gt;. Sight Words is customizable: you can record your own voice saying the words and add your own words in any language. These are good for kids a bit older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T11:28:48.097" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="580" CreationDate="2011-04-06T11:21:10.867" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I've found reading with children to be more effective than videos. Granted your personal time with your child may be limited, but it's arguably better and more fun for a small child to be reading with their parents than competitive games/sports where the parent has to compensate for their advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If nothing else, you have the ability to pick up where he's struggling better than an automated system, and obviously you'll be vastly more interactive than a video.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, Disney Sing-Alongs have the advantage of being repetitive, so he'll pick up the words of the chorus more easily, and the rhythm can help with memorization. Plus he'll be very cute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T11:21:10.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2011-04-06T11:32:46.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing to remember is that some babies cry more than others, and the amount of crying doesn't necessarily reflect on how well/poorly you are doing as a parent. At least for their first few months, no amount of picking up and calming the child is going to spoil them, so I would definitely recommend doing so when you can (as opposed to the &quot;let them cry it out approach&quot;). However, if you're feeling overwhelmed, just remember that it is ok to put your child down and let them cry for a few minutes while you take a break and collect yourself. In the grand scheme of things, they will never remember that you &quot;deserted them&quot; for 15 minutes, and doing so is definitely much better than getting angry with your child or having a nervous breakdown.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T11:32:46.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="502" CreationDate="2011-04-06T11:36:51.737" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The BBFC (British Board of Film Classification) has an extremely good reputation for rating movies, and then explaining WHY a movie is so rated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're the ones responsible for the legal rating of British films, and their ratings are like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;U(c): Universally Acceptable but aimed for a very young audience.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;U: Universally Acceptable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;PG: Acceptable, but requires parental&#xA;approval for young children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;12A: 12 year olds allowed in&#xA;unaccompanied, or anyone accompanied&#xA;by an adult. (not recommended for&#xA;anyone below 8)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;15: No-one under 15&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;18: No-one under 18&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their parent-centred website is here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbbfc.co.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.pbbfc.co.uk/&lt;/a&gt; and they also do an app for mobile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T11:56:59.310" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T11:56:59.310" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T11:36:51.737" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-04-06T11:52:45.210" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The BBFC (British Board of Film Classification) has an extremely good reputation for rating movies, and then explaining WHY a movie is so rated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're the ones responsible for the legal rating of British films, but the key advantage for a parent such as yourself is that they generally include WHY they made that decision, and a thorough list of all the potentially concerning scenes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their website is here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbbfc.co.uk/&quot;&gt;http://www.pbbfc.co.uk/&lt;/a&gt; and they also do an app for mobile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T11:52:45.210" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2011-04-06T12:14:48.223" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read &quot;1 2 3 Magic&quot; a few years ago. My wife and I have been using a system similar to this with our two children and the results have been mostly positive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a 3 year old and a 1.5 year old. The three year old generally listens before we get to the count of three. With the 1.5 year old, it is more hit and miss. She thinks its more fun to yell two after we start with one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="134" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T12:14:48.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="537" CreationDate="2011-04-06T12:31:40.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important quality is that your child likes it. If they do not like it, playing will be a chore and no kids want to do chores.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two young children (1.5 and 3) and I occasionally let them play on my iPhone. My older girl seems to really like games that reward her. For instance, we have a Dora game that she never plays. Yet we have shape guessing game, which awards her with &quot;stickers&quot; when she gets so many right in a row. She loves that game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="134" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T12:31:40.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="589" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7042" CreationDate="2011-04-06T12:43:07.617" Score="7" ViewCount="93268" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 yo holds his breath throughout the day. He'll breathe in (short), hold it for 3-7 seconds, then breathe out (short) and repeat that frequently. He does this when he's awake, but probably not conscious of what he's doing, like when he's watching TV. At night, when he's asleep, he doesn't hold his breath at all, he breathes normally, though his breathing seems a little short. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could this be related to asthma?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're scheduled to take him in to a breathing specialist to get it checked out in the next few weeks, but I was wondering if anyone else has encountered this before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2014-07-05T12:17:54.860" Title="Why would a child hold his breath regularly?" Tags="|health|breathing|asthma|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="590" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-06T12:48:15.380" Score="2" ViewCount="324" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm particularly looking for remedies that would be safe for children between 1 and 5 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2024-01-22T20:48:50.183" Title="What are some good natural remedies for asthma in children?" Tags="|health|breathing|asthma|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="591" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-06T13:04:33.700" Score="16" ViewCount="30501" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the best age to start schooling for my kid. In India, some start schooling at 3 few at 4-6. So, I just want to know what is the age come out from research which is the best age for schooling. He will be taught at home by his mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="285" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:30:22.503" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T16:57:22.647" Title="At what age should my child start schooling (formal education)?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="591" CreationDate="2011-04-06T13:55:14.420" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That depends on the school and the kid. It's never to early to learn, and never to late. But different ages needs different ways of teaching. You can't sit a 4 year old in a school bench and expect him to stay there. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T17:11:31.040" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T17:11:31.040" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="591" CreationDate="2011-04-06T14:00:00.200" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my personal experience as a parent, an active volunteer at multiple elementary schools, and volunteer at a child counseling organization, kids vary incredibly in this regard.  I've seen children who started school at 4 who &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; should have been in sooner, and children start school at 5 who really weren't ready yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's more helpful to look at stages of development when determining whether a child is prepared for school.  Also, the type of first schooling matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what is considered a &quot;traditional&quot; pre-school in the US -- about 50% play time, and about 50% educational play time (learning songs, practicing shapes and color names, improving speech), the child should be able to...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;communicate needs with spoken or signed words rather than by crying like an infant&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;know not to put things in his/her mouth that don't belong there&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;follow simple directions like &quot;put your books on the table&quot; or &quot;put on your jacket&quot;.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tell when he/she is being spoken to directly vs. being spoken to as part of a group vs. hearing someone else spoken to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what we call &quot;kindergarten&quot; here in the US as well as what are typically called &quot;academic preschools&quot;, a child should have the abilities above, plus:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;enough signed or spoken vocabulary to ask specific questions like &quot;when is recess?&quot; or &quot;may I use crayons on this?&quot;.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be able to match like figures (a typical screening test is to give the child blocks of various shapes and see how easily he/she matches them to silhouettes of the same shapes on a table)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have a basic idea of what written language is (demonstrated by holding a book right-side-up, looking at it in order from beginning to end, or asking parents to read signs, but not necessarily reading yet).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be able to count to 10&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be able to follow &quot;compound&quot; instructions, such as &quot;get your book from your bag and put it on the table&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have enough self control to sit where instructed and follow a short lesson (20 minutes or so)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, the new kindergartener also is able to write his/her name, knows the alphabet, has good manners, and it at least beginning to read.  But these are rarely required and not all children have all of these skills before beginning school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in India, as your question seems to imply, your schools may be set up very differently and have different expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also keep in mind that kids are all very different -- when my son started preschool, for example, he had most (but not all) of the kindergarten skills, but a severe speech disorder and other complications that made a traditional preschool more appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T14:00:00.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="594" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="596" CreationDate="2011-04-06T14:02:09.967" Score="6" ViewCount="522" Body="&lt;p&gt;Should extracurricular activities be required for home-schoolers?  Of course they should be offered, but should reluctant children be required to attend a certain amount of social activities?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any research on the success of children who get little to no out of the home socialization?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastActivityDate="2012-07-13T02:36:58.407" Title="Should extracurricular activities be required for home-schoolers?" Tags="|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="580" CreationDate="2011-04-06T14:02:38.733" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer:&#xA;I agree with the other poster suggesting that reading time is more valuable than screen time. In my limited time as a new parent I have seen much support for that stance with respect to developing language skills and higher brain function in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, onto reality, where TV is going to be incoporated... My wife uses 'Your Baby Can Read'. from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0043KW38A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Amazon&lt;/a&gt;.&#xA;Its a set of DVD's to watch with some heavy duty flash cards and other aids to get them going.  The set is appropriate from 3months onwards, and we love it. &#xA;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="92" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T14:02:38.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="594" CreationDate="2011-04-06T14:16:29.523" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;The idea of children socializing one another is &lt;em&gt;absurd&lt;/em&gt; -- I wish our society would get over it.  As adults, it is our job to teach children how to behave socially -- otherwise you get The Lord of the Flies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there are many other priceless lessons a child (especially a homeschooled child) learns from organized activity outside the home:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to cope with leadership styles other than one's parents'.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to get along with people from different backgrounds than one's own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to deal with people who don't always behave courteously or follow the rules (yes, including brats and bullies).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to form relationships with new people.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to adapt to a new environment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to all of those, your child gets whatever skills are developed in the particular activity, exposure to ideas and perspectives different from yours, and the chance to compete and achieve without being rival to his/her own siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case you haven't guessed, I'm &lt;em&gt;strongly&lt;/em&gt; in the &quot;get them out there doing things&quot; camp.  In my experience, a school-aged child who isn't interested in any activities outside the home has something maladaptive going on (extreme shyness, lack of confidence, fear of the unknown, or any of countless other typical childhood issues).  In all of these cases, the best thing to do is to help your child learn to cope with whatever is troubling him/her and find an extracurricular that he/she finds interesting and worthwhile.  He/she has so much to gain by doing so, and NOT doing so will only re-enforce the shyness, fear of the unknown, lack of confidence, or whatever else is troubling your child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; easier thing to deal with at 5 than if you let it go until 15.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T14:16:29.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="590" CreationDate="2011-04-06T14:30:07.547" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a immediate fix a steam session is quite helpful for opening up the lungs and make the child more comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also important to learn what sets off an attack in your child, so you can avoid those stimuli.  For example running in the cold gives me an attack every time, so I avoid it if at all possible.  Others I know have allergies that trigger their attacks, both food and atmospheric.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all remember that Asthma can be lethal, and it's better to be medicated than dead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastEditorUserId="50" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T15:26:07.683" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T15:26:07.683" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-06T14:36:46.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Love Valco Baby!! After watching my sister push her Valco baby through the sand on the beach with ease - I knew this stroller was a must have- Lightweight design and the front wheel pivots and has a latch to put the front tire in the fixed position. The tires are air filled but I've never had an issue with them as I don't walk down streets covered in glass and nails - I prefer air filled tires over solid rubber especially if youre into fitness and you walk alot - Also a better designed stroller will provide better posture for those pushing the stroller which obviously allows one to endure a longer walk- There's nothing worse than seeing a mom slumped over with odd alignment pushing their stroller-do yourself a favor and pay the money for a quality stroller. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user287" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T14:36:46.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="599" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="604" CreationDate="2011-04-06T15:51:20.387" Score="11" ViewCount="754" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can firearms be secured from children, preferably without locking them away in a full size safe where they would be completely inaccessible in an emergency?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Z4wl4.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Liberty Safe&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T06:31:59.143" LastActivityDate="2013-09-23T18:25:33.833" Title="How can firearms be secured from children?" Tags="|safety|firearms|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="600" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-06T15:54:57.640" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This age specific tag covers questions about kids after they start toddling around on two feet, but before you start working on school skills with them, so say from about 1 year of age to about 3 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any age specific tag, the edges are fuzzy between this and the previous and following tags: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/infant&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;infant&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;infant&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/pre-schooler&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;pre-schooler&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;pre-schooler&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A rule of thumb: if they are seriously mobile, it's time to move into this tag from &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/infant&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;infant&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;infant&lt;/a&gt;, and when they start to develop social skills appropriate for school then you're ready to move up to &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/pre-schooler&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;pre-schooler&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;pre-schooler&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2021-03-18T16:27:44.333" LastActivityDate="2021-03-18T16:27:44.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="601" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-06T15:54:57.640" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from about 1 year to about 3 years. Younger: infant. Older: pre-schooler." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T07:49:24.557" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T07:49:24.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-04-06T15:59:23.220" Score="2" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't pick sides, but don't deny when one of them is picking on the other in order to appear impartial.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accept that some of the time, you'll just have to accept that they're not talking to each other.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch out for &lt;em&gt;goading&lt;/em&gt;. Note that while physical violence is obviously wrong, if you make a stand on that, then the game will become to make the other sibling furious enough to resort to it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accept that siblings sometimes will just never be strong friends, especially if they have different priorities. After all, family is one of the few groups of people you never CHOSE to be associated with. You get to choose your job, your friends and your societies/parties.&#xA;Me and my sister are so different in our interests and attitudes that we annoy each other pretty much every Christmas. It doesn't mean we don't love each other, but we only get along well by phone, when one of us is on the opposite side of the country to the other.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T15:59:23.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="599" CreationDate="2011-04-06T16:24:22.840" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;For babies and toddlers, setting it on a high shelf should be sufficient.  Also, choosing a pistol with a grip safety is a great move -- little hands simply don't have the span to hold it down properly while pulling a trigger (as opposed to &quot;thumb safeties&quot; which are buttons or switches easily manipulated by small hands before firing).  Additionally, unlike thumb safeties, trigger locks, etc. a grip safety does not increase the time it takes to bring the firearm to bear in the emergency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;While&lt;/em&gt; your child is very small, it is important to teach firearm safety.  In homes where this is done properly and consistently, the child(ren) in the house don't need to have guns kept away from them, because guns have no mystery any more, and the child(ren) understands the consequences of mishandling, he/she/they will have no urge to use them improperly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what we did with my (now 8yo) son:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;From birth, my son was accustomed to tactical knives, firearms, and other weaponry as part of everyday life.  When he was born, we lived on the military base where my then-husband served.  I'm a practicing martial artist (and now, so is he).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When my son was a toddler, I made a point of leaving training knives (rubber mock-ups of my tactical knives used for sparring practice) within his reach.  My son was allowed to touch them and even pick them up, but &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; when he handled them with all the care due real blades, something in which I instructed him regularly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When my son had the rules down, I began leaving my &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; knives out from time to time, surreptitiously observing to be sure that they were handled properly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;By the time he was three years old, my son could be trusted around blades of any kind.  He asked before picking up a &quot;sharp knife&quot; (i.e. butter knives, putty knives, etc are safe without asking), and when he did use any knife he kept the blade away from his body, cut away from people, and was careful of surfaces that could be damaged.  He NEVER treated a knife like a toy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At four, my son began cleaning firearms with my brother and father, learning how they work, etc.  He's seen them fired (and what one can do to an angry coyote).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At five, my son began studying martial arts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'd like him to have begun learning marksmanship by now, however my son has hypersensitive hearing, so until we are done building an outdoor range at my parents' home, he won't have the opportunity to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Responsible use of weapons (be they fists, knees, feet, knives, guns, swords, or anything else) is one of the basic values my son was raised with.  It is re-enforced daily by our Sensei, by me, by my extended family, and by the other adults in my son's life.  That is more powerful protection than any mechanical measure ever devised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T17:24:31.133" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T17:24:31.133" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-04-06T16:37:28.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what you've said, it looks like they're simply struggling with sharing and co-operating. Sometimes it really is is simple as making sure they both get equal time and equal stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If one child's constantly getting hand-me-downs, they'll inevitably become bitter and have little or no respect for the other's belongings, because they know they'll get them eventually, after they're not as good. So the idea of &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;mine&lt;/em&gt; breaks down, except that the stuff that's nominally &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; is always better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T16:37:28.243" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="599" CreationDate="2011-04-06T16:39:58.290" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll let you know what the foster care regulations are for the state that I live in, then adapt them to something more usable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to assure perfect safety, a firearm should be protected by several layers. This include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Locking the gun in a safe&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Locking the ammo in a separate safe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Using a trigger lock on the gun (There are variants that require a key)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if you are worried about safety, but also the time to access, you should most definitely keep the ammo stored in a different place than the gun. Storing a loaded gun just makes it far too easy to do anything. Also, perhaps some practice with getting the gun ready to use, preferably at a difficult time like at night, would be a good idea, so then you can store the gun safely while still making sure you have enough time to get the gun in an emergency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, it is crucial to teach kids about gun safety from a young age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T16:39:58.290" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-06T16:43:47.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possibility is to stop calling him &quot;son&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously you love him and want him to think of you in that way, but he already &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; a father, and he's aware that you're not him. &lt;strong&gt;If he doesn't want to think of you in that way&lt;/strong&gt;, it might be better to use his name, as if he were just a friend's child, and see how he reacts. He might prefer it, as it means you're treating him more like an adult and equal in his mother's life; or he might decide he prefers the father-son relationship and go back to calling you Dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line, accept his terms on how he wants your relationship to be. He may well be worried about being abandoned again, and have negative connotations about how much &quot;Father&quot; actually means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2013-06-16T19:12:08.980" LastActivityDate="2013-06-16T19:12:08.980" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="608" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="611" CreationDate="2011-04-06T17:22:13.210" Score="17" ViewCount="214686" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7-year old son treats Santa as a real person. He probably suspects something, but me and my wife always find a way to persuade him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the normal age when children realize that Santa is not real, and what is the proper transition strategy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2017-12-04T19:48:51.083" Title="When do kids usually stop believing in Santa Claus?" Tags="|age-appropriate|primary-schooler|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="10" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="599" CreationDate="2011-04-06T17:47:59.023" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there is a firearm in the house, the best way is to teach children as early as possible how to handle it, at least at the basic level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you still think there's a significant risk of an accident, don't buy a firearm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T19:19:10.550" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T19:19:10.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="589" CreationDate="2011-04-06T17:48:34.090" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since he's only doing it while he's awake I don't think it's a medical issue; if it were, he'd continue in his sleep. It seems to me that it's just something that currently fascinates him, and even more so because of the attention he's getting from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has he recently invented this? Then I think it will pass again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T17:48:34.090" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-04-06T18:01:54.257" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my own and others' experience, I'd say around 6-9 years of age is the time when they figure it out. Most will probably have a sneaking suspicion for a year or two, which they spend probing and observing. &lt;em&gt;Isn't it odd that Dad always misses Santa because he's chatting with the neighbors just then, every year?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; figure it out, try to praise him for his observation skills and get him in a satisfied &lt;em&gt;I knew it!&lt;/em&gt; state of mind rather than being sad about a myth debunked. It's actually cool that he figured it out all by himself! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, if he has younger siblings, he's now in on a special secret that he can help the parents keep, and see how the siblings handle it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edit, 6½ years later:&lt;/em&gt; My son was 7 years old when he mentioned on the 24th,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Do I still have to pretend Santa is real?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; He was aware of the fairy-tale aura and considerate enough to ask while his younger brother couldn't hear him. We praised him for his smarts as well as for his consideration, and asked him to help us keep up the fun until his brother catches on, too, just because it's fun to pretend things. He happily agreed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2017-12-04T14:01:01.223" LastActivityDate="2017-12-04T14:01:01.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="612" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-06T18:47:19.990" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T18:47:19.990" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T18:47:19.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="613" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-06T18:47:19.990" Score="0" Body="How and when children sleep. For questions on how to get them to sleep, see the [bedtime] tag." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-22T15:04:44.533" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T15:04:44.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="614" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-06T18:52:00.130" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-04-06T18:52:00.130" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T18:52:00.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="615" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-06T18:52:00.130" Score="0" Body="Getting kids ready for bed, and making them stay there. See the &quot;sleep&quot; tag for questions on issues while they're asleep." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="154" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T14:51:13.960" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T14:51:13.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="599" CreationDate="2011-04-06T19:31:05.127" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best advice I have heard is to teach your child how to safely use guns as early as possible. This takes away a lot of the curiosity that gets kids in trouble and teaches them how to properly and safely handle a gun if they ever come across one at, say, a friends house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, if you want quick access for emergency use only, then a trigger lock should be sufficient. Or a small easy to open combo safe by your bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T19:31:05.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-04-06T19:38:50.670" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mix up the desserts. Sometimes we feed our daughter (now 9yo) ice-cream (rarely) but mainly dessert is fruit or yoghurt (with added fruit). The more insistant she is for dessert, the more likely it is to be fruit. My wife was raised on the idea that dessert is always fruit and our daughter accepts that junk dessert is rare treat. I hate sending her to bed hungry, but if she refuses an apple then I figure she can't be too hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2011-07-01T21:47:57.670" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T21:47:57.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-04-06T19:43:22.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter suspected the tooth fairy wasn't real by age 6 but decided it was in her interests to keep believing for a bit longer. We don't do xmas so santa was never an issue. In one breath she'd tell us there is no santa but in the next she'd talk about the tooth fairy as if she were real. There is not a lot of logic in a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T19:43:22.960" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="580" CreationDate="2011-04-06T21:51:12.463" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (age 2) has really been into &quot;Super Why&quot;.  I think it is on PBS but we watch episodes online.  It is a cute series where the four characters living in Storybook Village use their different abilities and the power of reading to solve problems.  They look to books to find the answers they need.  They spell, build words, zap words and replace them to change meaning, etc.  It is pretty cute and the music is catchy too.  One of my son's friends, who is 3, wears a cape and calls himself Super Why, so I know it can be interesting for older kiddos too.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T21:51:12.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2011-04-06T21:57:28.560" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had a dog that was raised with out children around, and when My and my Estranged Wife moved in together he was unable to adjust to having a 2 year old around 24x7. He had been taught that dog's teeth never touch human flesh so he never bit or attacked my daughter, but he did start to become more aggressive towards them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was for a couple of reasons. My Estranged Wife never established she's alpha to him, and she didnt properly teach our daughter how to act towards him. He was growling at her and I had to give him up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless how a dog is raised you must constatnly monitor their behavior around the children and never let the dog think it's ok to snap or growl at the child. You must also teach your child how to act towards a pet. It's a two way street. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son (at the time 1.5 years old) was intoduced to my mom's Pomerianians, I watched him for a long time to make sure he would not mis treat them and they would respond well to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main point I'm making here. ANY dog can be good with kids, it's dependent on their training, but you also must make sure you child knows how to respond to the dog. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T21:57:28.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-04-06T22:14:57.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When do Kids Stop Believing?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no right answer to this question.  Kids will believe based on their experience, the evidence they've witnessed, and other factors like the testimony of their friends at school.  Certainly there are different Christmas traditions (some outlined below) that will play into how long a child continues to believe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry if a child of any age continues to believe (although there is a point in which they will all &lt;em&gt;figure it out&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of how to handle the transition, I suggest opting this stance.  When you tell your child that &quot;Yes, Santa is Real&quot; what you are really telling them as that &quot;The Christmas Spirit is Real&quot;.  Santa becomes a metaphor for all that is good about Christmas, sharing with family and friends, and celebrating the season together.  Putting it in that context, you need never admit that Santa is not real on some level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this classic editorial&lt;/a&gt; if you never have, and then tell me that you don't believe yourself.  From this perspective, I certainly do.  And you can certainly show this piece to an older child, helping to share with them the true meaning of Santa, and at the same time encouraging them not to spoil the mystery for younger children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some Background On My Own Experience&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believed in Santa for a long time, maybe till I was 9 or 10.  My Mother (to this day) won't actually say out loud that Santa isn't a &quot;real guy&quot;.  She took a lot of precautions to preserve this beautiful little mystery for my siblings and I.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know some families have the tradition of an adult dressing up as Santa Claus and making an appearance for the sake of the kids.  Based on what some people have told me, in these families the children will stop believing in Santa Claus much earlier, because obviously, after a certain age, they begin to recognize the adult under the costume.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my family things were different.  Santa was a mysterious notion -- he never made an appearance in person.  We were told that Santa wouldn't come unless we were really sleeping.  We also had some Christmas rituals that helped create &quot;evidence&quot; to prolong the mystery.  On Christmas eve we would always leave a plate of cookies out, and a carrot for Rudolph.  When we awoke in the morning, not only were the stockings full, with a neat stack of new toys for each child, we would have a personal note from Santa, written a gold pen.  An empty glass of milk, cookie crumbs, and the stub of the carrot provided further evidence that he'd been by.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that might play a role in kids &quot;figuring it out&quot; more quickly is whether toys are wrapped or not.  In my case, toys under the tree that were &quot;from Santa&quot; were never wrapped in paper.  If you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; wrap toys from Santa, you'll want to save out the paper in a hidden place and use the same stuff every year.  Or at the very least, use a &lt;em&gt;different&lt;/em&gt; roll of wrapping paper than what you've used for your family presents.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T22:14:57.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2011-04-06T22:19:43.047" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be Patient&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be patient with yourselves, with each other, and with your baby.  After the birth of our second child, it took some time for me to decompress her birth not going how I had planned, feeling like a failure because I couldn't take care of both children on my own, feeling overwhelmed, etc.  On top of all of those normal feelings, I dealt with postpartum depression with her.  I felt like I was crazy and was overcome with sadness because I had the &quot;perfect&quot; family, and why wasn't I happy?  It took some time to acknowledge what we were dealing with and with some herbs I was able to ride it out until all of my hormones stabalized and I was in a better place emotionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep Talking&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our midwife told me once that it is better to let the tears flow than to try to hold them back and be strong.  It is okay to feel overwhelmed, scared, crazy, etc., but you have to express those feelings.  Holding them in is not coping and it is not healthy.  Talk to each other, talk to family or friends, talk to anyone who will listen.  Tell your birth story over and over because birth is an amazingly beautiful experience, but it is also traumatic and should be given a higher priority.  Once the baby is born, all attention moves to baby.  People forget how it all happened and assume that you are elated and have everything under control.  Sometimes you won't and that is okay!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sleep with a light on&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my first child was born I had to get up to nurse him in the night and have all the pillows just right and by then he was frustrated with me and would have a hard time latching on, and we couldn't find each other and then I was frustrated.  All that tension made things more difficult and it also made it harder to get back to sleep.  I said if I ever was blessed to do it again, I would sleep with a dim light on.  With my second baby, it made all the difference.  We didn't have to startle ourselves by turning on a bright light, it made middle of the night feedings and changes so much easier and we all got a lot more sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T22:19:43.047" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-06T22:40:46.463" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try to keep it simple and fairly quick.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole evening should not be consumed by the bedtime routine.  We have a set time that we aim for, sometimes we head upstairs a little earlier or later depending on the day.  We do similar things in a similar order so our children know what to expect. Sometimes we read a chapter in a book or have them choose a picture book, sometimes we talk about our day, say our prayers, etc.  We have a sleepy clock that turns a different color for bedtime and plays a story or music.  We turn on the clock, tuck them in, then we say goodnight and close the door.  Keep it simple and be flexible, but consistent!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T11:32:58.227" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T11:32:58.227" CommentCount="4" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-06T22:40:46.463" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="626" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="647" CreationDate="2011-04-06T22:47:47.737" Score="25" ViewCount="108973" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our children have recently been sick and I am wondering when is the right time to take them to the doctor.  They both have had runny noses with coughs, diarrhea, and fevers off and on for a week, between the two of them. We have treated symptomatically.  I don't want to be a hypochondriac parent who rushes the child in for every little thing, but I also don't want to be negligent when there is something seriously wrong that we may not see. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:31:14.580" LastActivityDate="2023-03-16T08:59:26.927" Title="How do you know when it is time to take a child to the Doctor?" Tags="|toddler|infant|health|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="628" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="630" CreationDate="2011-04-06T23:34:45.227" Score="10" ViewCount="2517" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the advantages and disadvantages of feeding an infant on demand?  Roughly when should feeding on demand stop and a proper schedule start?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T23:46:45.843" Title="What are the pros and cons of feeding on demand?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2011-04-06T23:41:37.667" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is hard to give a definitive answer here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might not worry about a runny nose as long as the fluid is clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might not worry about one day of diarrhea when you know what it might have come from (too much vegetables at once for instance). However a child must compensate for the increased loss of fluids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coughs are hard to classify here for many different things can cause them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should visit the doctor when the fever climbs above 38.5 degree celsius.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said: It &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; hard to give a definitive answer here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="121" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T23:41:37.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="628" CreationDate="2011-04-06T23:46:45.843" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The pros for a very young child is it promotes trust and bonding when their needs are met immediately, or close to it.  They also cry less and tend to be more peaceful in their awake times.  The con is more when they get older.  It is harder to predict and manage a child's feeding schedule if there is no schedule.  I have seen with breastfeeding children that it is harder to ween them from the breast when they are used to mom being constantly accessible.  We have a toddler in our circle of friends that demands to nurse whenever mom is around.  Babies will naturally develop a rhythm to their feedings, but we tried to aim for every two hours while being flexible to their needs.  As they grew and started into solid foods, they received three meals per day with breast milk in between if needed/wanted.  We tried sleep/eat training with our first child and it didn't really work too well, so I have followed our second child's lead and she is growing and thriving all on her own.  Follow your child's lead-he/she will let you know!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-06T23:46:45.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="537" CreationDate="2011-04-07T01:06:52.327" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sadly, iPad apps rarely have trial versions. You really have to do your homework on them to make sure they will not merely satisfy what you are looking for; but also provide good modeling for the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More and more of the edutational games are providing free/lite versions. This will give you a chance to evaluate them for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T01:06:52.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="633" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="638" CreationDate="2011-04-07T01:13:43.130" Score="10" ViewCount="5696" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know that every child is different and each advance at their own age. So the question is not &quot;How old&quot; but what should I be looking for in behaviour, maturity, coordination, and physical control to give me a good guide into knowing that it's time to try transitioning the little one from the trike to the bike (with training wheels)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-04T08:29:48.180" LastActivityDate="2011-07-04T08:29:48.180" Title="When should my child transition from tricycle to a bicycle?" Tags="|age-appropriate|activities|maturity|transition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2011-04-07T01:20:43.703" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good pediatrician should have on call 24/7. First time parents especially may not always know when it's serious and when it's not. A good pediatrician (and nursing staff) also will say that you should at least call in rather than not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may not need to take the child to the doctor; but one call can reduce concern. I often joked that the purpose of my child's pediatrician was to make my spouse and I feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call in more than not because the worse thing you can do is wave off something serious because you're concerned about seeming too hypochondriac.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T01:20:43.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="580" CreationDate="2011-04-07T01:26:46.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I answered similarly in another question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly suggest watching the television with the Closed Captioning/Subtitles turned on. While it is not actively teaching vocabulary and reading; it is giving constant stimulus to show the words for the most part in synch with the sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 4 1/2 is reading at probably a year or so ahead (with possibly the exception of attention span) as a result of having a deaf parent who requires the captions to be on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bonus is that it works stunningly well with children's programs but even with other random programming that might be on that you expose your children to. (We prefer How it's Made and Mythbusters. Our child recognised: Busted, Confirmed, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T01:26:46.007" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="564" CreationDate="2011-04-07T01:32:26.780" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Schoolhouse Rock is always the top of the heap for multiplication. It worked in 1974 and still works frighteningly well today. As for addition and other basic forms; I'd suggest scouring YouTube. I've been very fortunate to find, not merely old Sesame Street counting; but other educational vids. (Note the answer from Dr. Stiehler above supports educational videos on YouTube)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always pre-screen before showing them to little ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T01:32:26.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="637" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="665" CreationDate="2011-04-07T02:47:59.590" Score="27" ViewCount="4516" Body="&lt;p&gt;From observing teenagers around my neighbourhood, it's obvious that Starbucks, and a few other coffee shops, are standard hangouts for teens. So I assume that once they're in highschool, I won't have a choice anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question has two parts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long should I wait before I stop limiting or preventing access to caffeine?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any advantage to making sure that my children have been exposed to it and have a tolerance/know how to handle it before they hit highschool?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-23T16:57:21.120" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T20:14:48.183" Title="How long should I wait before I permit my children to have access to caffeine?" Tags="|age-appropriate|food|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="633" CreationDate="2011-04-07T03:40:11.920" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is another option: use a 'run bike' to help your child learn balance. This makes it easier to know when they are ready. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A run bike (aka 'balance bike') is essentially a bicycle with no pedals.  There is a good &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2009/10/26/fashion/20091027-physical-slideshow_index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;New York Times&lt;/a&gt; article about balance bikes. Unlike a tricycle, a balance bike teaches balance, which is really the limiting factor for children learning how to ride.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they can cruise around on a balance bike, it will be easy to see when they are ready for pedals. My son started walking his around at the age of 2, and can now run with it  (at 2.25 yrs and warm weather), although he hasn't gotten the balance part yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some good questions and answers over at bicycles.stackexchange.com that include a discussion of different methods that can be used to teach a child to ride a bike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://bicycles.stackexchange.com/q/452/839&quot;&gt;What is the best method to teach a young child to ride?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://bicycles.stackexchange.com/q/2258/839&quot;&gt;Is a “run-bike” equivalent to a bmx bike with no drivetrain?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/2psVj.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:32:42.093" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T07:35:17.957" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="547" CreationDate="2011-04-07T04:10:12.743" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ouch!  Tough scenario.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're right that it's indicative of low self-esteem, or at least a desire for asserting control and power.  I know that some schools have done very well with bullies by simply giving them responsibility, if they are in charge of taking care of the school pet or a similar small responsibility, their motives are directed towards the collective and they become a much more productive member, and grades have even improved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly recommend a thorough talk with the child at every instance they show this behavior, asking them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why are you doing this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do YOU think it's wrong that &quot;&lt;em&gt;whoever it was&lt;/em&gt;&quot; did that?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you mad at &quot;&lt;em&gt;whoever it was&lt;/em&gt;&quot; ?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you know this hurts people?  Do you want to hurt them?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very important to take a moment to really listen to what the child has to say about it.  Part of the &quot;snitch&quot; appeal is shaming the other person, so if you increase self-awareness and make the child realize that being malicious in the form of snitching is considered bad too, you may get through to them.  That in combination with giving them some more responsibility will hopefully steer them clear of this bad habit!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: a child who is 5-7 really doesnt think about their actions that much, most dont have much self-reflection because they are &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; learning to be social. Asking them self-reflecting questions asks them to form opinions about themselves in a way they might not have otherwise, which can improve their behaviour if guided positively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="247" LastEditorUserId="247" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T17:23:46.140" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T17:23:46.140" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="547" CreationDate="2011-04-07T05:19:00.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Often times a child that is behaving in this way is really only wanting attention themselves-to be noticed for something is better than being totally overlooked.  Giving them a special job is a great idea.  Maybe he/she can help monitor the halls or do something to help keep others safe.  This child seems to be very aware of what others are doing so reinforcing the positive side of that quality may help the child use that power in a more positive, less annoying way.  Perhaps give them a way to vent all of this things they have noticed- like a notebook where the child could write and you could read.  That way you may get more insight into what the child sees or is experiencing.  Perhaps work with the other children surrounding this child and see if the child is included in daily experiences.  Maybe the child is feeling left out and just wants a way to associate in some way.  This may be a good learning/teaching opportunity for all involved.  Maybe the child truly is malicious and enjoys seeing other people get in trouble, but maybe there is something else behind this behavior that should be the focus of your attention.  Encourage, encourage, encourage the positive and the child will come around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T05:19:00.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="642" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-07T05:48:44.453" Score="6" ViewCount="709" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard of videos and courses that teach children about firearm safety and how to handle firearms, but have never watched or evaluated any. I've know that the US National Rifle Association (NRA) puts out some material. Has anyone used these with their children?  What approaches are most effective in teaching safety and marksmanship to young firearms users?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-04-08T01:23:24.033" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T02:40:30.580" Title="What should one look for in first firearms training for children?" Tags="|education|safety|firearms|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="643" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="973" CreationDate="2011-04-07T06:14:41.873" Score="54" ViewCount="91225" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3yo regularly plays and acts like a girl. For example, he likes to take his arm out of one sleeve on his shirt and pretend he's a princess. He loves to dress up in his mom and sister's clothes. He asked for a dollhouse for Christmas. He often compares himself to his little sister saying, &quot;I just want to play with her, because we're the same&quot;. He'll also make comments about how things are pretty and beautiful, and likes pink and flowery things. Even his body movements and facial gestures are very feminine in nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also frequently refers to things as the mommy and babies, both animate and inanimate. For example, if he see's a big and a little animal, he'll refer to the mommy and baby animal. But he'll also refer to a big and little pillow as the mommy and baby pillow. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, we have no problem with any of this. He's my son, and I love everything about him and the way that he thinks. This behavior may or may not be an indication that he will have homosexual tendencies in the future, but that doesn't matter to me, because I support how he thinks and who he is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His personality and tendencies are obviously different than what society deems typical or normal. We've tried to maintain a neutral standpoint on everything: not ignoring the situation, but also not discouraging or encouraging one behavior over another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is: what is the best way to handle the situation?  What types of things should we be discussing with him. How should we approach those conversations? Any help from someone who has a similar situation or has worked with childrens' sexual identity issues would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="807" LastEditDate="2011-07-07T14:54:48.900" LastActivityDate="2021-04-17T02:15:48.263" Title="What is a positive way to handle a boy who acts like a girl?" Tags="|toddler|lgbtq|gender|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="644" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-07T06:19:15.973" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;These questions are about &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; children act the way they do. Understanding the motivation for their actions is often the key to resolving problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See the tag &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/discipline&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;discipline&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;discipline&lt;/a&gt; about enforcing rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T13:14:54.873" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:14:54.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="645" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-07T06:19:15.973" Score="0" Body="Why do children act the way they do? Use [discipline] for questions about enforcing your rules." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T13:14:54.873" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:14:54.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="637" CreationDate="2011-04-07T06:32:20.090" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may sound odd, but I think I'm going to treat it like alcohol with our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I both gave up caffeine when we first decided to have kids... honestly, I don't miss it and I feel a million times better without it. Now on those rare occasions that I have to have a hit of it because I need the extra stimulation to keep awake for something odd, I really feel miserable afterwards; it's very much like a hangover, the difference is that we've decided as a society that caffeine doesn't have to be regulated and doesn't have the stigma that alcohol has, so it's perfectly acceptable to have it first thing in the morning to get the buzz going again, and at lunch and dinner to keep it going. So we never &quot;sober up&quot; from it to feel the hang over. Until you cut back and then quit it all together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This experience has really driven home to me that the two are very similar... they're chemicals that we know do things to our brains and bodies, and that we ingest specifically for those impacts. When he's old enough to understand that, then I'll let him choose if he wants to try them, and I'll be there with him to talk about what he's feeling in his body. From there out, it's his call. (as long as we're still living here, and they don't change the law before he's older, it's legal for minors to consume beer/wine with a meal with their parents.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T06:32:20.090" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2011-04-07T07:03:42.560" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good pediatrician should have an on-call service 24/7 - or there should be some type of hotline or service you can call, organized by the local governement, your health care provider or similar. First time parents especially may not always know when it's serious and when it's not. A good pediatrician (and nursing staff) also will say that you should at least call in rather than not. When in doubt, err on the side of caution!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may not need to take the child to the doctor, but one call can reduce concern. It is entirely justified to say that one of the roles of a pediatrician is to make the parents feel better, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call in more often than not.  Remember, even if your child is not sick, it is not &amp;quot;wasting the doctor's time&amp;quot; to call and ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you can ask your doctor when they think you should call them. It is a question they are very used to hearing, and they will give you guidelines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Go to the doctor when:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; there's a need for treatment (some obvious case of illness to be treated)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you're concerned that there &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be a need for treatment,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you're in doubt about the cause, seriousness, treatment, or anything else!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't hesitate; it's okay. In the course of several visits, you'll gain more experience to evaluate which of the above 3 you're facing, and the last one will become rarer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Specific symptoms that are good signs to contact the doctor are:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Changes in appetite (refuses several feedings in a row or eats poorly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Changes in mood (lethargic, unusually difficult to rouse, persistently irritable,or inconsolable crying).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tender navel or penis (umbilical area or penis suddenly becomes red or starts to ooze or bleed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fever. &lt;em&gt;ANY&lt;/em&gt; fever if younger than age 3 months, 3 months or older an oral temperature of 102 F (38.9 C) or higher, give your baby acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) and contact doctor if the fever doesn't respond to the medication or lasts longer than one day or is unusually irritable, lethargic or uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Diarrhea (especially loose or watery stools.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Vomiting or spiting up large portions of multiple feedings or vomits forcefully after feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Dehydration (if baby doesn't wet a diaper for six hours or longer, the soft spot on top of your baby's head seems to sink, or your baby cries without tears or has a dry mouth without saliva).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Constipation (fewer bowel movements than usual for a few days)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Colds that interfere with his or her breathing, lasts longer than two weeks, or is accompanied by severe coughing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ear trouble (baby doesn't respond normally to sounds or has fluid draining from his or her ears).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Rash (covering a large area, appears infected or sudden unexplained rash — especially if the rash is accompanied by a fever).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eye discharge (one or both eyes are pink, red or leaking mucus).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Excessive bruising&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Seek emergency care for:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bleeding that can't be stopped&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Poisoning&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fits, convulsions or seizures&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Trouble breathing, fast breathing, grunting while breathing, or if your child is working hard to breathe, for example, sucking their stomach in under their ribs&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Head injuries&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A sudden lack of energy or inability to move&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Unresponsiveness, reduction in activity or increased floppiness&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Large cuts or burns&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Neck stiffness&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Blood in the urine, bloody diarrhea or persistent diarrhea&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Skin or lips that look blue, purple, gray, very pale, mottled or ashen&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a high-pitched, weak or continuous cry&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;in babies, a bulging fontanelle (the soft spot on a baby's head)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;not drinking for more than eight hours (taking solid food is not as important)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a high temperature, but cold feet and hands&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a high temperature coupled with quietness and listlessness&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your baby or child is unusually drowsy, hard to wake up or doesn’t seem to know you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your child is unable to stay awake even when you wake them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a spotty, purple-red rash anywhere on the body. (This could be a sign of meningitis)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;repeated vomiting or bile-stained (green) vomiting&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Specific advice regarding temperatures:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're worried speak to your General Practitioner (or, in the UK, call NHS Direct on 0845 4647). If the surgery is closed, contact your GP out-of-hours service. If you're still concerned, or if your GP or out-of-hours service can’t come quickly enough, take your child straight to the Accident and Emergency (A&amp;amp;E) department of your nearest hospital.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always contact your GP, health visitor, practice nurse or nurse practitioner if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your child has other signs of illness as well as a raised temperature&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your baby’s temperature is 38°C (101°F) or higher (if they’re under three months), or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your baby’s temperature is 39°C (102°F) or higher (if they’re three to six months)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Additional Thoughts:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you're asking on the Internet, you should be asking the doctor or nurse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you wonder if you should bring your baby in for a visit, then you should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you have 1 question, at least call the doctor's office.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you have more than 2 questions, set up a consultation so you're not bombarding the doctor over the phone and have more time for follow-ups and note-taking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you have any questions, it helps to bring a notepad with questions written down in advance and write the answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the doctor doesn't take you and your questions seriously, then it's time to find a new practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People can give you general advice, but none of us have access to your baby's medical chart, and general advice may not work for some children for subtle reasons. &lt;em&gt;For example&lt;/em&gt;: my baby had severe diaper rash. Ordinarily diaper rash isn't too much to worry about, and if I'd asked about it online, I think I would have gotten a lot of answers that consider it part of being a baby. But I have a strong family history of allergies, and my baby's diaper rash turned out to be the result of a milk allergy. We figured it out between my husband's and my observations, my parents supplying info about my medical history, and the doctor's expertise. No one on the internet would have been able to confirm it, even if they might have raised the red flag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sources:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/healthy-baby/PR00022&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Treatinghightemp.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NHS Choices - Temperature&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Recognisingsigns.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NHS Choices - Symptoms&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/pediatrics101/a/when_call_pedi.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pediatrics.about.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2023-03-16T08:59:26.927" LastActivityDate="2023-03-16T08:59:26.927" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-09-19T13:12:13.173" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-07T07:22:39.700" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk about the day&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One part of our evening routine is talk about our days:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We started with that habit at the earliest days. We told our baby than what he did all day long. Later we could ask specifically for some events that he remembered. (E.g. &quot;Who did we visit today?&quot; — &quot;Grandma.&quot; — &quot;Yes right...&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By now we established a routine that he and I take turns who starts talking about the day. Maybe he tells me about his day in the kinder garden, what he played with his friends and what he did in the afternoon. Then I tell about my work. In case he has some questions, we may discuss them as well. Finally we tell each other what we would like to dream about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="121" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2013-12-24T19:00:36.137" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T19:00:36.137" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-07T07:22:39.700" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-04-07T08:03:17.400" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As for ages, I don't know. I figured out that Santa was my sister when I was four, I'm told. I don't think my younger siblings ever believed in Santa. So I have no experience in when kids in general figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for transition, my answer to &quot;Is Santa real?&quot; will be: &quot;Well, what do &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; think?&quot; Teach the kids to think for themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then again, I don't see the point in lying to kids about Santa or the Tooth Fairy or anything else, so I suspect I'll have an easier transition, as I won't have lies to explain away. :) I guess a good explanation is that Santa is make belief and pretend, like dragons, and The Cat in a Hat, or when you play Colonialists and Indigenous Population.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T08:03:17.400" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="706" CreationDate="2011-04-07T10:14:06.810" Score="14" ViewCount="128722" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little girl about 3 months old and she already mouths quite frequently on her hands.  Should we try to discourage this behavior now (by pulling her hand away when we find her doing it), or wait till she is older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we should wait, how will we know that she is ready?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-07-16T12:10:57.513" LastActivityDate="2019-07-16T12:10:57.513" Title="When should an infant stop sucking on her hands?" Tags="|infant|age-appropriate|mouthing|thumb-sucking|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2011-04-07T10:17:44.663" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no experience of children I know having such issues, but I myself did when I was a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not a definitive answer here, but it's possible that a lack of prompting/conversation about this (when I was old enough to sensibly talk about it; i.e. probably when I was first cognisant it myself, when I was around 8 or 9) caused it to be something of a loose end/unresolved question in my life for another decade or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your attitude towards your child's behaviour is great.&lt;/strong&gt; If I were in your position, I'd probably let it ride out for a few more years; at 3 years, I wouldn't be surprised if it was &quot;anything goes&quot; (and that gender doesn't really influence decisions/behaviour, as @Hannibal mentioned). But, if it continues into primary (elementary) school, maybe bring it up with him, as by that stage he'd certainly notice a difference between himself and the other boys at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="66" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T10:17:44.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="653" CreationDate="2011-04-07T11:30:19.420" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'd let her do it &lt;em&gt;at least until&lt;/em&gt; she can deliberately grab other objects to suck on instead. The only thing you should check is that the skin of the hands don't get irritated from being moist all the time, and keep the nails short (though infant nails usually don't need to be clipped because they're so soft in the first place). If moist hand skin becomes an issue, put some soft mittens on her hands and replace them regularly throughout the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Infants go through an oral phase, where they put everything into the mouth. The reason is that the most sensitive body part of an infant are the lips. This is no big surprise, as infants can't yet deliberately move their limbs very well or touch things with their fingers. Since she can't yet grab objects, the hands are the easiest &quot;object&quot; to use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T11:30:19.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="589" CreationDate="2011-04-07T11:58:38.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's just bad practice in breathing. That happens to people sometimes, they get stuck in a pattern that's wrong. The most common is inflating your chest instead of your stomach when you breathe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practicing consciously breathing correctly usually fixes it I don't know how to do that with a child, but the specialist you are about to see will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T11:58:38.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="464" CreationDate="2011-04-07T12:04:27.120" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I feel is in line with the opinions already given. But that's only half of the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently, it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; make sense, but only with younger kids. And that means up to 3 years of age, roughly. In particular, it only makes sense with kids whose verbal skills aren't well-developed enough to understand a stern lecture. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even then, there are obvious restrictions. The first is, it's only used in the most extreme cases, where your kid risked his life and somebody needed to save him. If that was traumatic enough by itself, you don't need to reinforce that. Otherwise, the punishment should be quick. Such young kids wouldn't be able to link a delayed punishment to the offense, while the intent is to make a direct connection between the life-threatening act and the very negative consequences. The next time, there might not be an adult around to save your kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you can see, this is really an exceptional corner case. Most parents will never encounter such a horrible scenario, and that's a good thing. I'm having some problems finding my sources for this, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="309" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T12:04:27.120" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="660" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-07T13:07:48.533" Score="9" ViewCount="615" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2 year old daughter gets really upset whenever sleep/bed is mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She usually wakes up about 7-8am, has an afternoon nap around 1-2pm (duration between 1-2 hours), and goes to sleep at around 8pm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our nighttime ritual pretty much always goes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dinner&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Quiet Play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bath&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Milk + 2-3 Books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cuddles/Talk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before naps, its usually just 2-3 books then bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She sleeps in a bed, not a cot, but rarely has issues with getting out of bed. After her initial outbursts, we can usually calm her and get her to sleep. I wondering what things we can try to make her more accepting of bed/nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="250" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:40:38.140" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T12:40:38.140" Title="How can we get our toddler to accept bedtime?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2011-04-07T13:30:52.357" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of &quot;straight&quot; people that dress up as women (or do other very strange things). There are also gay people that are very masculine. &quot;He&quot; could also end up as a woman at the end of it all (I have a close friend who had the surgery a couple years ago. She is more happy than she ever was as a he.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best way to handle this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he doesn't have enough &quot;boy&quot; friends to learn from example how to be a normal boy. If he's always with his sister and his mom, what else is he going to learn? I would make sure he had more time with &quot;normal&quot; boys... playing with trucks and toy soldiers and what not. Let him learn that. Put him with in a good environment. Let him be influenced by good/different things. (Not saying a boy who likes dolls is &quot;bad&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he suffers from gender confusion. He truly feels like he is a girl. He says he and his sister are the same... maybe you can point out the differences. If this continues, at some point (not at 3, my opinion) he'll have to see a doctor to have this looked at deeper. There are kids that believe they are the opposite sex. This wouldn't be the first... but it would be fairly rare and something that would need a professional opinion on. Someday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he is gay... I think 3 is a little young for something like that to be known, personally but its definitely possible. Continue to be supportive, but you have 7+ years before that should even be a thought in his mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it's a phase that he'll grow out of. All kids want to be firefighters, police, doctors, etc... they &quot;grow out of&quot; most phases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point he'll be old enough to make a more informed decision... You sound very supportive. Keep that up and I think you'll do good. Maybe day care with other kids his age will be all you need. Maybe a neighborhood family his age. Emphasize &quot;boy&quot; stuff. He may choose to follow his current path... he may not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I worry about is the fact that you tag this as &quot;homosexuality&quot;. Your son is 3 years old. I doubt he knows what a penis is used for yet (other than potty training.) Overall that wouldn't be my worry at this stage. As I mentioned above, I would try to put him in different environments and let it play out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="310" LastEditorUserId="310" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T17:52:45.517" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T17:52:45.517" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2011-04-07T13:39:02.447" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Impose Limitations&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Limit time playing with stuff. Facebook, angry birds, etc. You are allowed 2 hours a day for &quot;those&quot; activities. Doc some allowance if he goes over his time. My brother wasn't allowed to play &quot;shooter&quot; or &quot;mmo's&quot; until he was 16. He wasn't allowed on the computer after a certain time (and not until after homework is done.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I say &quot;Only play for 2 hours&quot;, those are similar to the rules where I come from. Depending on you and the kids (each parent is different... each kid is different), that could be 1 hour or 4. Or 'You choose any combination that takes up 3 hours: XBox, computer, TV&quot;. For me, the important part is laying down the boundaries. It's a hard lesson to learn that you can overdo a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Encourage &quot;Good&quot;/breadth of activity/socialization&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do good things yourself and get him involved. Go outside. Play soccer. Read books together. Give a bigger allowance for things that you want to encourage. My brother, again, was encouraged to go outside. Read books (Dad got us into Wheel of time, Lord of the Rings, etc). Play games like Heroes of Might and Magic where you have to build cities, gather an army and fight on a battle board. Starcraft tournaments with other kids at church.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discourage/Punish &quot;Bad&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;There will be times when rules are pushed - playing for 2 hours and 30 minutes or just playing all day when you aren't home. There needs to be stated responses - loss of XBox for a week, no Internet, no phone, etc. The punishments need to be fair, consistent and followed through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="310" LastEditorUserId="310" LastEditDate="2015-02-08T17:46:22.833" LastActivityDate="2015-02-08T17:46:22.833" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-04-07T13:49:29.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would agree with &quot;as soon as they can count, add, subtract&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one thing I would add: Include this money in savings, checking and credit lessons at an early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a checking account (less common these days, but still important).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach them young and early that a portion of money should be saved. Maybe put it towards car, college, etc. Learn early that a chunk of your money goes poof. Bye bye. Learn early how utterly important savings is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe even teach them credit shortly after they start getting money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want that truck? You have $5 and need 10... You can use this credit card (me) to &quot;loan&quot; you the $5 but you owe the bank $1 a week for the next 7 weeks. If you forget to pay me, there is a $1 late fee (You owe $2 next week) and another week owed $1 (more interest accrued).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them forget to pay and get late fee's (Deposited into savings, for future use). Let them learn not just to save... but how evil credit is and how important it is to stay on top of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is how you make money, save money and lose money. I wish someone had done those things when I was younger. Would have saved me thousands in dumb choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="310" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T13:49:29.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="599" CreationDate="2011-04-07T13:55:15.903" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to education, you should consider whether there is an alternative to a firearm for fast-response emergency situations.  For example, pepper spray can be quite effective in case of home invasion, and if a child finds and uses it on him or herself or someone else, they will recover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, you can try to require a less-fast response: if you put a gun safe in a bedroom or other centrally located room, you're more likely to have time to open it; a burglar alarm or automatic lights can give additional warning, etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T13:55:15.903" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="637" CreationDate="2011-04-07T14:05:45.067" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;There has been some research done on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.evira.fi/portal/en/food/information_on_food/food_categories/energy_drinks/caffeine_intake_of_children_and_adolescents_/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;effects of caffeine in children&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bottom line is that caffeine is generally safe, but it does have significant effects in children as well as adults.  Note that children are much more likely to encounter caffeine in a soft drink than in tea or coffee; that's what you have to worry about, I think, not Starbucks.  A cup of green tea contains ~15-25 mg of caffeine, which is around the limit where there were no noteworthy effects for a 50 kg child, so if they want to hang out at a cafe, they don't even have to limit themselves to strictly caffeine-free options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that persistent caffeine exposure causes physical addiction.  It's not particularly serious, but it is annoying: it means that you have to drink caffeine &lt;em&gt;just to feel normal&lt;/em&gt; (instead of lousy), and it doesn't do as much to wake you up.  If you explain this to your children (especially if you can provide examples of people who seem permanently glued to a coffee cup), they might elect to limit their exposure when it's completely under their control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastEditorUserId="314" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T20:14:48.183" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T20:14:48.183" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2011-04-07T14:33:03.670" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if I have an answer per se, but I do have a point of view based on my own experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a pre-teen, my mother remarried to a man who had a temper problem (no physical violence) and felt the need to control every situation.  One day I was having an animated conversation with my mother.  My stepfather walked in to the room at the end of the conversation and heard something I had said facetiously.  He barked at me, &quot;Your attitude is bullshit!&quot;  So I barked it back, &quot;well, you're not my father!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;you attitude&quot; comment is not what precipitated this episode.  What precipitated it was the constant tension caused in the household by this man.  He was judgmental, off-standish, verbally abusive to a degree, and very controlling and dismissive of other people's points of view.  The &quot;you're not my father&quot; comment wasn't the war; it was the nuke to end the war and emerge the victor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my point of view is this.  Maybe this is idealistic fantasy, but if my step-father had had a better relationship with us, was more in control of his emotions, and in general just a better person, this episode would never had happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope I'm right about this.  I'm a new step father myself.  I have a great relationship with my 2 step-sons.  Whenever I'm faced with a difficult situation I think back to my own experiences as a child.  I try to learn from everything my own step father did wrong in figuring out how to be a better step-dad myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="313" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T14:33:03.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="660" CreationDate="2011-04-07T14:48:21.013" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids like attention, especially that age. It's a hard thing to do, but your best bet is to just leave, don't comfort the kid when she is outbursting. It's a very hard thing to do, but kids will find a way to get what they want, and outbursting of some kind is a common method, which if left not handled, will affect them even to much older ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T14:48:21.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="668" PostTypeId="3" CreationDate="2011-04-07T14:54:16.157" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T14:54:16.157" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T14:54:16.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="669" PostTypeId="3" CreationDate="2011-04-07T14:54:16.157" Score="0" Body="Questions pertaining to children from 1 to 3 years of age." OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T20:56:43.250" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T20:56:43.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="670" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-07T15:00:17.193" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T15:00:17.193" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T15:00:17.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="671" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-07T15:00:17.193" Score="0" Body="Questions about issues that are specific to twins or multiplets." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T20:56:45.200" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T20:56:45.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="660" CreationDate="2011-04-07T15:08:34.183" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just try and avoid making a big thing of it - put her down and leave. Some kids will take longer to cope with just being left, but the more you comfort them the longer it will take, so for your sanity get used to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crying and screaming doesn't mean as much to them as to you - so don't take it to heart, and don't get them used to you comforting them every time they cry at being left in bed - otherwise you will just reward that behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soon they'll learn, and you'll have easier evenings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T15:08:34.183" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2011-04-07T15:12:13.323" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is 100% normal. Many kids do this - one of mine did - and then grew out of that phase and now likes toy guns and fighting. Kids need to play act, I don't think it matters what they play act as.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't pay it any attention one way or the other - I would doubt gender confusion is even a thought in a 3 year old's mind!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T15:12:13.323" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="637" CreationDate="2011-04-07T15:18:02.897" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;From working with sports coaches and the like, I plan on not letting my kids have any caffeinated drinks. If children get used to caffeine their bodies learn not to produce as much energy naturally, which doesn't set them up well for life. Also, caffeinated children - not a peaceful life for anyone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use caffeine as an adult - I'm in IT, so obviously :-) - but I'm very glad that my natural energy levels are high and my kids take after me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until I no longer have a say (ie they are off to high school) I encourage them to only drink water, fruit juices and milk. They are happy with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;your mileage may vary, obviously, but even at a Starbucks, soft drinks are available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T15:18:02.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2011-04-07T15:38:59.707" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I very highly recommend the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0865479186&quot;&gt;Bad Science&lt;/a&gt; by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.badscience.net/about-dr-ben-goldacre/&quot;&gt;Dr. Ben Goldacre&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;It is very relevant to your question and addresses some of the concerns you may have about Immunization. &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;It is also a very good book about understanding the difference between Scientific Research results and how they are published in the Media.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="216" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T15:38:59.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="660" CreationDate="2011-04-07T16:36:38.087" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Routine - routine - routine&lt;/strong&gt;.  My youngest daughter, now 13 was an extreme night owl.  She would rarely fall asleep before 2am when she was a toddler.  What I found out through trial and error was that if we put her to bed at exactly the same time each night, her body got used to it.  Give her a ritual before going to bed, do it the same way each night.  Once she is in bed, limit the attention, she will get used to the routine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="321" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T16:36:38.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="633" CreationDate="2011-04-07T17:34:20.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also think its a matter of wanting to learn. My next door neighbor kid (5) isn't all that interested while mine (4) has been wanting to for about a year...I also think the ability to listen  is key...(Stop, Stay out of the street, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also be willing to do 5-10min sessions of &quot;practice&quot; several times a day..seems to be working so far for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user322" LastEditorDisplayName="user322" LastEditDate="2011-04-07T18:51:37.910" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T18:51:37.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2011-04-07T17:46:14.930" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We employed the 1 2 3 magic formula for a while. The ideas weren't completely foreign to us, since it's part about controlling your own temper and not having your own tantrum as a form of discipline, and part about rewards and (safe) punishments from behavioral psychology. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I liked is that for &quot;stopping&quot; behaviors, like &quot;stop jumping on the couch&quot; it works great. Our kids had a lot of clarity as to what they could expect, and they responded like magic. When we told them &quot;that's 1&quot; they would either stop, or slow down whatever it was they were doing. Usually we didn't get to &quot;that's 2,&quot; and we almost never had to send them to the corner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I didn't from it was a good grasp on how to deal with &quot;starting&quot; behaviors, like &quot;start doing the dishes&quot; or &quot;start cleaning your room.&quot; The book talks about both, but maybe I don't remember the specific tactics used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it's hard to remember to do some things, like not lecturing them on and on. It's just habit. So the book is great, but it takes some self control to implement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user323" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T17:46:14.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="564" CreationDate="2011-04-07T19:22:54.013" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few tv shows that help preschoolers familiarize (noy really teach, in my opinion) with mathematical concepts. Among them: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Numberjacks&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Numberjacks&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Team_Umizoomi&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Team Umizoomi&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="41" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T19:22:54.013" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="564" CreationDate="2011-04-07T19:49:37.490" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always enjoyed the animations at &quot;Brain Pop&quot;. They have a math section.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brainpop.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.brainpop.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="327" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T19:49:37.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-07T20:09:16.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We said that otherwise &quot;microbes eat your teeth&quot; (3 years old)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="328" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T20:09:16.410" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="181" CreationDate="2011-04-07T20:28:06.993" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This might sound strange, but get him some source-code for simple games, show him how to type them up (or create them), and let him go at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's how I got into programming at age 7 -- typing up game code from a Quick Basic book my dad bought me from somewhere. An intense 30 minutes of typing 10-100 lines of code, followed by hitting &quot;run&quot; and hours (ok, minutes) of glee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's a great solution because it &lt;strong&gt;ties effort into results.&lt;/strong&gt; And what kid doesn't like games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="151" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T20:28:06.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="687" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="688" CreationDate="2011-04-07T21:27:07.980" Score="15" ViewCount="9561" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suppose it depends on the severity of the condition, but I was wondering how normal it is to go through several years of school before a &quot;problem&quot; is noticed by parents and/or teachers or other professionals. Is this possible?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T08:01:29.210" LastActivityDate="2019-01-09T16:11:05.660" Title="At what age is autism typically diagnosed?" Tags="|autism|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="687" CreationDate="2011-04-07T21:33:04.260" Score="11" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;but I was wondering how normal it is to go through several years of school before a &quot;problem&quot; is noticed by parents and/or teachers or other professionals. Is this possible?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Autism is strange beast.  It is extremely varied from person to person, and other psychological disorders (and several genetic ones) can look like Autism and not be it.  Depression is a good example.  Both have very similar symptoms, and at times it's a toss up between which one it is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20060602/autism-spotted-at-age-14-months&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;3 is around the age where they make an actual diagnosis&lt;/a&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autismweb.com/signs.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;also&lt;/a&gt;) I believe, but if you have a good pediatrician they start looking for signs much earlier, 1.5 to 2 years old.  You should have been asked questions, or given a list to fill out before the child's 2 year checkup.  (now depending on the child's age, this may not have happened, as within the past few years, they revised the checklist to include children of a younger age.) You can ask your child's doctor for an Autism checklist they give to parent's to see if concern is warranted.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children can technically move in and out of this diagnosis, it's just that most don't.  Unfortunately, there is no genetic test etc. to say, &quot;Yep, that's what it is.&quot;  On the upside that means that some of those who go through counseling etc. can lead a somewhat normal as opposed to things like Down's Syndrome where those people will almost always need some sort of  help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is definitely possible for this to get &quot;missed&quot;.  Teachers and doctors who are overworked or just don't care could miss early warning signs.  The problem with Autism is that it covers a range of behaviors.  Depending on the severity, a mild case might be labelled as quirky, or shy.  30 years ago a child who was considered an outsider, might be diagnosed with Autism now.  Asperger's syndrome is an Autism spectrum disorder, and people with this are capable of functioning in society without difficulty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have health insurance, what I would do is explain to the child's doctor your concerns and see what comes as that.  Check with your insurance provider and see if you can have a psychologist do a formal evaluation.  You can also check with the school to see if they have someone who can do that also.  In the U.S. most places have developmental schools which are specifically geared towards diagnosing and helping children with disabilities.  I suggest this advice more than all others: &lt;strong&gt;have two people evaluate the child.&lt;/strong&gt;  Autism can be very very difficult to diagnose, because it focuses on a range of behaviors.  One person may say no, where the other may say yes.  If you suspect something is wrong, and the first says no, go to the second one.  I know this sounds like you are shopping for the answer you want, but in this case you should be absolutely sure.  The sooner the better too.  The earlier treatment starts, the better off the child will be.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all, you need to have &lt;strong&gt;professionals&lt;/strong&gt; evaluate the child.  Don't try and make a formal judgement yourself.  They know what to look for, and they know what other problems look and what to look for.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is what you have to remember above all about Autism.  The child is still your kid.  Autism is nothing more than a name given to a series of behaviors.  Don't let a formal diagnosis change how you feel.  All it is saying is that the person needs some help in certain areas.  Think of it like getting a Math tutor, but it's tutoring for social skills.  Most children with Autism aren't slow, they aren't retarded, they just have difficulty in social situations.  If you haven't heard of Temple Grandin, I would check here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.templegrandin.com/templehome.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.templegrandin.com/templehome.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="336" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-10-14T22:21:19.617" LastActivityDate="2018-10-14T22:21:19.617" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-07T21:34:25.807" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have the same issue with our son and depending on the night he will stand as still as a statue as I brush his teeth while holding one of these in his mouth:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001AT96E6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Professional-Instruments-Dental-Mirror-Miltex/dp/B001AT96E6/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1302211911&amp;amp;sr=1-1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He likes that he is being &quot;worked on&quot;. Sometimes he just doesn't want to brush and those nights I'm sorry to say we hold him tight and just do it for him. Oral health is important and it's a habit that takes a lot of pattern to keep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="339" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T21:34:25.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="660" CreationDate="2011-04-07T21:37:57.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the &quot;routine routine routine&quot;. We also bought a clock that lights up when it's ok to get out of bed. We just kept reminding him that it wasn't time to get up yet because the light hadn't turned on yet. Worked within 2 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="339" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T21:37:57.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-04-07T21:46:28.463" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you started weaning yet? My son suddenly started sleeping through when he got sufficient calories. Also, I wholeheartedly agree with routines and early bedtimes too (~7pm).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hang on in there - it does get better.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="332" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T21:46:28.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="100" CreationDate="2011-04-07T21:48:42.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it's on both sides I would suggest leaving them to it unless injuries are occurring or give them something more fun to do - I spent 4 years fighting with my closest sibling then we realised we had more fun as a team.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could encourage them to be a team - although you then risk them ganging up on others :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest 2 fought for a while, then I enrolled them in Tae Kwon Do, and now they get to fight each other in controlled bouts and they get on a lot better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T21:48:42.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="181" CreationDate="2011-04-07T22:23:39.087" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a coder, so I just encouraged my kids to 'help' me from an early age. At two or three years old they were on my knee watching me writing applications and generally hacking so as soon as I could free up a spare laptop I gave them a triple boot linux, solaris and windows box to play on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basic shell coding seemed simple from 4 or 5 years old, and have the eldest looking at Ruby on Rails - he's 10.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of the three of them, my eldest is the only one who actually seems interested in developing games, but the experience the younger ones get is likely to be useful anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one rule I always did have though was that they use the laptop in the same room as me or my wife - I don't use any censorship software, but I'm there if they do come up against something unsuitable - and it makes for a pleasant working environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-07T22:23:39.087" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-04-08T00:28:13.113" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;All wonderful answers so far. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.imdb.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;IMDB&lt;/a&gt; also has a useable parental guide to films.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-10T13:56:11.757" LastActivityDate="2018-07-10T13:56:11.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="687" CreationDate="2011-04-08T00:54:09.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a very difficult question to answer, for the following reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Autism spectrum disorders are incredibly varied.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The medical definition of autism is changing: the DSM IV definition is quite different from the soon-to-be-adopted DSM V definition.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The legal definition of autism (at least in the US) is completely different from the medical definition of autism.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://politicalilliteracy.us/content/it%E2%80%99s_not_about_condition_it%E2%80%99s_about_money&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Autism isn't only diagnosed when a child is autistic.&lt;/a&gt;  At least here in the U.S., huge monetary benefits are lavished upon schools for each child diagnosed with autism.  Thus, if a child has &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; special needs, rather than having no extra help paying for what can be expensive treatment, schools are motivated to shoehorn the child into a diagnosis like autism that comes with federal and state funding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There's a difference between diagnosing autism and &lt;em&gt;accurately&lt;/em&gt; diagnosing autism.  There's no objective test for autism.  In most cases, the best way to diagnose autism is to see if the treatments that help autism help the child.  So in a way, it's hard to know if a child is autistic until &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; he/she is diagnosed with autism.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as Kevin already pointed out, many other things can be confused for autism.  A number of speech/language disorders, emotional trauma, sensory integration disorders, sensory processing disorders, extremely high IQ, a number of social issues, and several behavior disorders (just off the top of my head) are commonly mistaken for autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a very general guideline: I'd be very leery of someone offering a &quot;definitive&quot; autism diagnosis under age 6 or so, and I'd be equally skeptical of an autism determination for a child who showed no symptoms during early schooling and suddenly developed problems later on.  While it can sometimes be difficult to discern whether a young one's problems are related to autism or not, unless it's a case of high-functioning autism or aspergers being initially masked by a very bright child's intelligence, it's hard not to know that &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; is up long before the child is done with primary school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T00:54:09.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="642" CreationDate="2011-04-08T02:40:30.580" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firearm safety must begin in the home. Your children will naturally emulate your behavior (especially what you do when you think they aren't looking).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For formal instruction, I do not believe that there is anything to be gained for the first time firearm user from videos and other recorded media.  Base firearm skills aren't just techniques, they are &lt;em&gt;habits&lt;/em&gt;.  Developing the right habits (range behavior, safety precautions, posture, etc.) requires constant correction and refinement.  Watching an instructional video may make your child &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; safe, providing an illusion to child and parent alike that skills have been gained when they haven't.  Confidence in excess of actual competence is a dangerous thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When evaluating firearm instruction, consider the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents should take a course (or a refresher course if already trained) before their child learns to shoot in order to be certain that they are modeling the best possible behavior for their children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In addition to training, try to invest in a club or range membership so that your child has ample opportunity to practice in a safe environment.  Bonus points if your club or range has a youth marksmanship group.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A good instructor will do one-on-one instruction with first-time shooters, and not bridge to group classes until the student has shown competence in weapon care, safety, and fundamentals (grip, posture, etc).  Group classes can be useful for improving marksmanship but not for teaching weapon safety.  (If you need evidence of this, look at how often our police and military members cause negligent discharges.  This is due in large part to group weapons training that doesn't offer the level of reinforcement some people need.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A good instructor won't just teach someone to shoot -- he/she will insist on teaching safety and weapon care first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A good instructor teaches not only &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; a gun works, but how and when to use it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A good instructor is approachable -- students feel comfortable asking him/her questions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A good instructor doesn't just tell the student what to do, but why.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A good instructor will not offer a two-day &quot;boot camp&quot; or similar for first-time shooters, but short, regular training sessions.  This gives the instructor the chance to re-enforce good habits over a longer span of time, making them more likely to be retained.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T02:40:30.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="238" CreationDate="2011-04-08T03:00:27.357" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter and son started to realize the difference between male and female is when I decided it was time for them to not bathe together. That is when they started to learn of the basics of sexuality and the difference been male and female.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T03:00:27.357" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-08T03:59:28.987" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A stroller is entirely optional if you only have 1 small child.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infant carseats typically snap in and out of a base that is secured in your car. This works well for bringing a sleeping baby in to a store or in to your home. You can buy drop-in strollers for these carseats, but they're not necessary. I always carried the carseat in by hand. It's easier to get around than a stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your infant is awake, or has grown to be toddler, I recommend a &lt;strong&gt;sling&lt;/strong&gt; instead. Properly used, they are very comfortable for parent and child. You don't have to use arm muscles to hold the baby up, so you won't get tired quickly. A baby pressed against your body will be calmer and happier and tend to go to sleep easily. You will also be more intimately aware of how your baby is doing.  Nursing mothers can even nurse a baby that's in a sling, hands-free. A toddler likes being a chest height, were they can see more than at stroller height. Slings are very quiet; strollers are noisy. Pushing a stroller made me hunch over, since I am tall, and my back would get tired. It's hard to run with a non-jogger stroller, but I can jog with a sling. Slings are easy to use over rough ground, e.g. across a field or on a trail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/8dhPA.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;nursing in a sling&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were occasions where I really wanted a stroller over a sling, but they were quite rare. You can't wear a backpack with a sling, for example. For those times, a cheap umbrella stroller was just right. Since I didn't use it much, I was glad it was cheap. An umbrella stroller folds down really small, so it stays out of the way when I'm not using it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have 2 small children (e.g. &lt;strong&gt;twins&lt;/strong&gt;) then a sling doesn't work so well. A double-stroller helps a lot. That, or having a lot of extended family around all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="100" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T03:59:28.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="653" CreationDate="2011-04-08T04:27:04.073" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is typical infant behavior. Keep in mind infants typically don't know what their hands are doing, that they can control them, or that they are even part of their own body. (My 5 month old son still wakes himself in the night, by whacking himself in the face -- he thinks someone else is doing it!  I have to tightly wrap him in a blanket, to jeep his hands away.)  Be sure to keep her fingernails filed down, so she doesn't hurt herself.  My first two kids hated pacifiers, but my 5 month old likes them.  See if she will peter a pacifier to her hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wen you're ready to stop the habit (probably in about a year), simply rub the cut end of an artichoke stem on the offending hand.  Raw artichoke tastes AWFUL.  The bad taste will stay on her hand (and in her mouth) for some time, doesn't stain, is a natural, and won't cause a rash or allergic reaction.  Most kids try it only once or twice, before they get the clue that putting a hand in their mouth isn't a great experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the behavior persists, wait until she is old enough to &lt;em&gt;learn&lt;/em&gt; to stop.  18-24 months old should be old enough -- girls are pretty smart and learn fast at a younger age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume this is your first child.  Don't spoil her, even though you'll want to!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="372" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-11-14T13:19:16.150" LastActivityDate="2014-11-14T13:19:16.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="707" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="712" CreationDate="2011-04-08T04:30:11.073" Score="38" ViewCount="4001" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a recent episode of Super Nanny (a UK and US show on parenting), I noticed that Jo Frost was openly talking to the parents and older sibling of a family about sex in front of a 6-7 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents never spoke about sex to me, so the idea of talking about sex in front of a child has always seemed like a taboo thing to me. I have a 15 year old boy and we didn't really start talking to him about sex until middle school, when he was about 12, because that just felt like the right time based on what he was starting to talk about at school with his friends. But we have to go through it all again with 4 more kids and I'm sure they'll all be ready to talk about different things at different times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking into account that that different kids intellectually and socially mature at different rates, and are exposed to different things based on the culture they are surrounded by, what are some indications that your child is ready to talk about sex. What things should you keep in mind to make the conversations with your child comfortable and bi-directional?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: I'd prefer if this this didn't deteriorate into an abstinence vs. safe sex debate, so please refrain from your opinions on those topics and just answer the basic questions related to readiness and approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-06T19:09:32.593" LastActivityDate="2017-10-29T22:41:09.933" Title="When should you start talking with your children about sex?" Tags="|communication|sex-education|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="660" CreationDate="2011-04-08T04:32:04.430" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does she sleep with a stuffed animal? If so, maybe you can model the desired behavior via the stuffed animal. It worked for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our daughter (age 2) the micro-routine is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tuck her in - head on the pillow, blankets pulled up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her her favorite bedtime book, &lt;em&gt;Goodnight Moon&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her a high five&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her a fist bump&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shake her hand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kiss her forehead goodnight&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This routine was something we sort of reached together (our daughter and us) through trial and error. Of course, like any 2 year old after enough nights of that routine she had enough and started to request something different, but here's where I think we outsmarted her: rather than mixing it up we let her know that this was the bedtime routine and then started the routine on the stuffed animal she sleeps with. Yes, we gave a high five, fist bump, etc. to a stuffed cheetah. Anywho, she sat there and watched us do this dance with her stuffed animal and then we said goodnight and started to leave. She immediately laid down and said, &quot;High five, high five!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most nights she's pretty good about following the routine on her own and going to sleep relatively quickly and easily, but for those nights where she's having a harder time we find that if we just do the routine with her stuffed animal and then say goodnight and start to leave she hits the deck fast and pleads for us to go through the routine with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T04:32:04.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="709" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-08T04:35:00.820" Score="13" ViewCount="594" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some fundamental rules that you should have when you own a house with a pool and have young children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T12:44:22.187" Title="What are some good safety rules to have when you own a pool?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="707" CreationDate="2011-04-08T04:39:37.727" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;As soon as they start asking questions or show curiosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Younger kids don't understand psychological aspects of sex, so wording might be different, when you talk about sex with six-year old and with a teenager. But it is perfectly OK to explain ehm... basic mechanics of sex, or pregnancy 101, as soon as the kid asks questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T04:39:37.727" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="711" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="713" CreationDate="2011-04-08T04:41:36.490" Score="24" ViewCount="14352" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally want to teach my children (all under 6yo) how to swim. What readiness guidelines should I use to determine if they're ready to start? What things should I teach them first? Are there good resources (online videos or sites) that teach parents to teach their children to swim?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a &quot;do-it-yourself&quot; question, so suggesting that I put my children in swim classes is not an answer that I'm looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-04-09T02:54:26.097" LastActivityDate="2013-05-03T22:33:02.660" Title="How and when should I teach my children how to swim?" Tags="|swimming|activities|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="707" CreationDate="2011-04-08T05:13:00.480" Score="56" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make discussions age appropriate.  Scale up the detail as they get older.  NEVER LIE TO THEM.  Just leave out details.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids were all born about 3 years apart.  This left ample time for each of the previous children to ask questions typical of their age group.  Answering their question on the same level is always best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An almost-3-year-old asking, &quot;how does the baby get out of your tummy?&quot; probably doesn't warrant details on the labors and pain of ordeal.  Rather, &quot;a doctor helps get the baby out,&quot; will suffice a typical 3-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 6-year-old daughter was keen enough to ask how the baby gets in there in the first place.  This was answered by a basic discussion of the mechanics of sex, followed by, &quot;you have to be this tall and married.&quot;  However, she has always been fascinated with biology, and wants (and probably will become) a veterinarian.  So, she already had investigated things on her own accord, like development stages of the baby, knew that &quot;moms have eggs&quot;, and asked &quot;how many eggs do you have?&quot;  (We consulted Google -- about 3 million eggs, but only about 300 become active.)  So, we answered her questions as they arose.  She understood these things, but not how the whole process was initiated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 10-11 years old, a child should be fully aware of the maturation process, because, &quot;weird things start happening to your body.&quot;  They need to know that it's normal, and why it is happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using proper names and terminology is important, too.  You may need to look up the names of things (I assume you're not a physician), and/or look up some diagrams to review with them, if you deem it appropriate.  After all, a picture is worth 1,000 words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Springing the entire subject on them all at once is not a good idea.  Initiating a discussion that immediately delves into the subject will make them feel awkward and/or embarrassed.  Talking through the facts openly, without showing embarrassment, is important; because it shows them that sex is not a bad thing, and is a natural part of life.  They will feel much more comfortable about asking their own questions, too.  Setting expectations about sex is also important.  Let them know your opinion of an appropriate time for them to become sexually active (no sex before marriage, etc.).  Discussion your opinions of birth control should also be held.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel you need to have a discussion with your child, you may try gently steering a private conversation to the subject.  If they don't want to talk about it just then, don't force the issue.  Do, however, attempt to revisit the topic that evening or the next day.  It's important to eventually talk.  Ask your share of questions, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With knowledge comes responsibility.  Don't let them become irresponsible through ignorance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll do a great job!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="372" LastEditorUserId="372" LastEditDate="2011-04-21T18:00:39.230" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T18:00:39.230" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2011-04-08T05:24:30.423" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm just going to give a bit on swimming lessons first, even though its not the answer you want, it can provide some answers to the &quot;when&quot;. Then I'll talk about some of the things we do in the classes which you could do on your own, as lessons are a good guide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in Australia, where its very common to start taking your children to swimming lessons from 6 months. Even though obviously they won't be able to swim until later on, its very important to teach them about water, water safety, understanding to hold their breath when they do go underwater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a 2yo who has just finished her second term of swimming lessons (we started her at 12 months, intended to start earlier). She can now swim with a floating device on her back (not for long and I would not be much more than an arms reach away from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The classes for 3 year olds+ I believe they start to learn to swim on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I mentioned we started our daughter at 12 months, so I'm less aware about the routines they do in the youngest classes. Some of the beginner things she's done from 12-24 months are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chin in the water.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Left/Right ear in the water.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Blowing bubbles (this is really good to teach them about not breathing in, but out and can lead to holding their breath)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lying on their backs, head on your shoulder and kicking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In a shallow pool, trying to pick pool toys off the floor, you can assist them a bit, but teaches them to put the head into the water on their own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With a floating device on their back, running to fetch a floating toy. (Support them at first, but they can do this on their own fairly easily).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Jumping into the pool - standing on the edge, touching their toes then jumping to you. (Let them fall in the water, don't catch them straight away. Also assist them to climb out of the pool on their own)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Underwater swims, with someone else, guiding them underwater to the other person (Teach them to hold their arms out in front and hold their breath).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With all these things, as they get better you can support them less, and get them to do more on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you said all under 6 years old, so some of the activities may be too basic for them. I'd really suggest getting some sort of floatation device, (floaties, lifejacket) and assisting them until they feel comfortable on their own. But I don't have the experience with older kids yet, so its just what I'd imagine would be good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should also note as I did in my other answer. Learn CPR for kids!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="250" LastEditorUserId="250" LastEditDate="2011-04-08T05:36:35.433" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T05:36:35.433" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="709" CreationDate="2011-04-08T05:33:12.223" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Australia it is the law that all pools have child safety gates around them. If that's not the case where you are from, I'd strongly suggest investing in one anyway, and being strict about keeping the gate closed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://kids.nsw.gov.au/kids/resources/news.cfm?itemID=6C6286D3081DBF479A794262EC448E30#ixzz1IuGMyUqe&quot;&gt;NSW Commission for Children and Young People&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Between 1996 to 2005, there were 245&#xA;  children and young people who died as&#xA;  a result of drowning (3.5% of all&#xA;  deaths). 73 of the 245 drowned in&#xA;  private swimming pools or spas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your children very sternly that they are never to go anywhere near the pool without you, no running, etc., and of course teaching your children how to swim and all about water safety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the number of stories I have heard from parents who have just looked away for a moment, and then looked back and their child is in the water is so alarming. If you are supervising your kids, be sure that is exactly what you are doing (not reading a book, or anything else distracting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last of all, if you haven't taken a first aid course and learnt CPR, do it. The worst thing imaginable for me would to lose a child when I could have saved them if I had just spent that time to learn CPR.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="250" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T05:33:12.223" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="715" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="718" CreationDate="2011-04-08T06:37:20.033" Score="10" ViewCount="3462" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people like piercing girls' ears at a very young age so that they &quot;aren't old enough to be afraid of the pain&quot;, while others think that the child should have the option to choose to do this, even if they are a young age that is, arguably, easily manipulated by society to believe that ear piercing is the &quot;right&quot; thing to do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what is everyone's opinions on this matter? Should a parent wait until the girl is old enough to at least acknowledge the decision? Should the parent wait until they are at a &quot;mature enough level&quot; to decide this in a semi-adult fashion (e.g. 10+ years old)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="376" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-06T12:40:17.750" LastActivityDate="2018-09-06T12:40:17.750" Title="How old is old enough for a girl to have her ears pierced?" Tags="|age-appropriate|girls|ear|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2015-09-14T17:23:05.010" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="715" CreationDate="2011-04-08T07:18:44.727" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;My opinion is to &lt;strong&gt;wait until the child itself expresses a desire for this.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm surprised to see infants with piercings because I feel that the parents make a cosmetic choice that does nothing for the child, but you propose a reason why they might do that (too young to fear the pain) that is new to me. Whether that is valid is for each parent to decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see around me that some cultures place special meanings and values in this, and that would of course also affect the decision. But in general, and particularly with small children, I personally see no reason for, or benefit of, piercings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T07:18:44.727" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-08T07:25:53.597" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2011-04-08T08:12:00.377" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The sooner you do it the easier it will be. If you are fully at ease in the water this will help as well, as they will try to copy everything you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The specifics Jacob listed are all excellent, plus a couple of others around reducing fear of the face going underwater:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start off with good arm bands, but if they are very young, don't move out of arm's reach - they'll need to know you are there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are really young, help them practice putting their head under water by bouncing them 1, 2, 3 times and then dropping down just under the surface with them for a half a second works. A quick blow of air on their face makes them automatically hold their breath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With you and a partner standing close, throw the child for the other one to catch, so that their feet make a splash. Over time, catch them lower, or move further apart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T08:12:00.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="715" CreationDate="2011-04-08T08:32:21.330" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;My opinion is to wait for the child to ask for it.&#xA;Fear of pain shouldn't be a motivation to decide it for them. Yes, it hurts a little but you can explain that to them. In the end they have to make the decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This subject touches on the human right to bodily integrity. I don't want to sound &quot;heavy&quot; and I understand that an earring is relatively harmless but if you pierce the ears of a an infant (obviously without its consent) you violate that right. There is no medical reason or some greater good that warrants this. Only your own pleasure. You yourself think it looks pretty and that is not a valid reason in my eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My two daughters both got their ears pierced when they where about 4 years old. They both wanted to have earrings just like their mother. We explained it would hurt a little and that put them off for a while but in the end they decided that they wanted it anyway.&#xA;With my youngest daughter it didn't work out the first time. At one time we forgot to put in the earrings for a few days and the hole healed up. After about six months she decided to have another try. She knew it would hurt a little but she still got her ears pierced a second time. So fear of pain doesn't have to be an issue, it all depends on the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="378" LastEditorUserId="378" LastEditDate="2011-04-08T09:44:56.683" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T09:44:56.683" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="719" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-08T08:49:35.570" Score="11" ViewCount="54775" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2 year old toddler has become quite attached to taking his sippy cup of milk to bed with him at bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're concerned this will cause .. issues .. down the road with toilet training and sleeping through the night without accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, he's been coughing a lot lately and might naturally want some fluids at night, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we be strict and discourage our toddler from getting in the habit of keeping a sippy cup of milk or water with him at bedtime?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:49:51.403" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T08:42:18.063" Title="Should we discourage our toddler from taking sippy cups to bed?" Tags="|toddler|bedroom|drinking|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2011-04-08T08:53:34.040" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was talking with my wife about this one, and it's tough. I know how obsessive and persistent toddlers can be about things like this, and if they get obsessed with something dangerous.. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I think sometimes &lt;strong&gt;you simply have to wait for your toddler to grow out of a phase&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All  you can do is watch him like a hawk, tell him it's dangerous in every way you can (and you have!), try to protect him as best you can ... and ... uh .. &lt;em&gt;wait&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For him to outgrow this phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Painful, unsatisfying, and a lot of work.. but then sometimes that is what parenting is, at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T08:53:34.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-04-08T08:55:23.793" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We went through a similar stage with our 2-year old (for very similar reasons). I don't think it has caused any particular longer term problems subsequently. We would often go in once she was asleep and remove it, so there wouldn't be any problems with rolling over and waking her up in the wee small hours. We tried to also leave it on the beside table/floor/bottom of the bed, although that generally didn't work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from the short-term reasons (coughing and warm weather, etc.) I think it was just a phase. She went through a phase of demanding a tissue to blow her nose for a few weeks, too. That passed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I go to bed with a glass of water, so I don't see why she shouldn't! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FWIW, we tended towards water rather than milk (for sugar/teeth) reasons, too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T08:55:23.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2011-04-08T09:04:14.953" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's really no lower bound on swimming - or at least getting them into a pool. My elder one has been going swimming since just was about 4 months old, although for most of the first couple of years it is as much about tolerance of the water and confidence around the pool. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that until they have the co-ordination on the land, some decent strength in their legs and arms, and breathing control, that they'll actually develop anything approaching swimming skills. For many that's 18 months to 2 years, but that isn't to say that it's a waste of time before then, but the rewards will be a lot less, their enjoyment will be mixed and they'll get bored and frustrated a lot quicker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of starting them off, you're looking to develop a respect for the water but also an understanding that they can do if they try. Key things to develop: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;immerse as early as possible (albeit for very brief periods), &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;songs with jumping (lifting up and down, but also formulaic with getting in and out of the pool, or splashing, going on their backs) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;games involving toys (floating, chasing, jumping, fetching from the bottom) are key &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;also floatation devices (flat floats, longer-thinner 'noodle' types, etc.). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't rush to get goggles, but inflatable arm bands, once a little bigger, are great for independence in the pool. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And until they're 3+, you absolutely have to be in there with them. No question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T09:04:14.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2011-04-08T10:01:30.373" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Flipping the power switch on a outlet or power strip isn't dangerous unless it's broken. What is dangerous is sticking things into the socket. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So make sure all your plugs and outlets are whole, sits well in the wall with no hole between the outlet and wall, and that all your power strips are in good nick and if possible, use child safe models of sockets. Also install a safety breaker as mentioned in the comments above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different countries have different sockets with different possibilities in the child safety department. Many &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jespersfritid.se/Shop/Image/Article/E10-29.gif&quot;&gt;European type of sockets&lt;/a&gt; nowadays come with child safety features that makes it impossible to insert pretty much anything except a plug in them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other countries have sockets where a third plug needs to be inserted before the socket goes live, or have &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fatallyflawed.org.uk/assets/images/autogen/a_Exposed.gif&quot;&gt;shutters&lt;/a&gt; that open when the ground plug is inserted, meaning you need to stick two things into the socket before it gets dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In yet some countries sockets doesn't lend themselves to either, so the only option is to stick a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=child%20safety%20plugs&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;rlz=1B7GGGL_enFR301FR302&amp;amp;prmd=ivns&amp;amp;source=univ&amp;amp;tbm=shop&amp;amp;tbo=u&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=C9meTZfULonHsgaI6cniAQ&amp;amp;ved=0CCUQrQQ&amp;amp;biw=1680&amp;amp;bih=840&quot;&gt;cover&lt;/a&gt; over every free socket in the house. Make sure the cover does properly cover (with margin) the holes, and that you can't get the covers off with your fingers. In this case you still have problems if your child starts pulling plugs out and thereby uncovering sockets, in which case constant supervision unfortunately is the only remaining option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T10:01:30.373" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-04-08T11:21:43.547" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was &lt;em&gt;insistent&lt;/em&gt; on taking a drink to bed for a long time, probably from a similar age until she was about 4. Unfortunately, once we'd finally decided to intervene (I think a few months before she turned 3), it was way too late and had reached the stage where it was a pretty fixed routine for her; breaking it was very difficult. Our refusal of a drink at bed time made her refuse to sleep (crying, leaving bedroom, secretly playing with toys, etc). Sneaking the drink out after she was asleep would result in being woken up at various unpleasant times in the morning because she couldn't find her cup (this would also happen when she &lt;em&gt;had&lt;/em&gt; the cup and it fell on the floor, down the side of the bed, etc, but with lower frequency). Giving her a smaller quantity of drink resulted in arguments at bedtime (because she didn't want a &quot;small&quot; drink) or again with midnight wake-ups because the cup was empty. Pretending to run out of water didn't work. &quot;Losing&quot; the cup didn't work. And so on...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end it was a phase that (eventually) faded away on its own, although it still feels like it took a very long time to get there; I suspect most of our efforts to combat it were fruitless, if not counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did experience problems with toilet training, and I think that this was a major factor, because she was consistently wet during the night for a long time. It took her longer to be effectively toilet trained than the vast majority of her peers at nursery, and she continued to have accidents for a much longer period as well. Even as we made progress during the day, she had to keep nappies on during the night (because she &lt;em&gt;would&lt;/em&gt; fill them, or without them would soak the bed), which I'm sure impeded her daytime success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, based on our generally negative experiences, my advice in response to your headline question is:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, at least gently discourage this behaviour to prevent it from becoming part of their expected routine.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, do note that my daughter is now almost 5, and at school, and we have no continuing toilet-related problems, so thankfully there doesn't seem to have been a long-term detrimental effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="381" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T11:21:43.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="660" CreationDate="2011-04-08T12:14:05.220" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way is two fold. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First is routine. Gotta make it the same every night for them.&#xA;Second if they keep getting out of bed, you dont respond at all. You just take them back to bed. For the first time, Give them a kiss and say good night again. The Second time, just say good night after they are in bed. After the second time dont respond at all to them, just take them back to bed and tuck them in. DO NOT respond. They are willing to take negative attention because it's attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T12:14:05.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="660" CreationDate="2011-04-08T13:23:22.037" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to add an idea we introduced at DST when it was suddenly not dark outside at bedtime anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have roller blinds outside the windows (typical for Germany and Austria), and when you close them then it's &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; dark inside. In winter, we just closed the blinds some time during the evening; no exact time was needed because it was dark anyway. Now in spring, we built it into our bedtime ritual. (Yes, a ritual is essential!) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just before lights out, when my son has put the story book back on the shelf, we go to the window and &lt;strong&gt;say goodnight to the street, the trees, etc. while we lower the blinds.&lt;/strong&gt; He can see it's still light outside, but we're saying goodnight to the outside because it's bedtime. He can see that the room gradually becomes dark, and he can see it's because we close the blinds. So there's no surprise that &lt;em&gt;it's suddenly dark&lt;/em&gt;. Now it's dark, and there's nothing else to do than climb into bed using just the dim light from the hallway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continue the tuck-in ritual from here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T13:23:22.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="715" CreationDate="2011-04-08T14:33:42.837" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Second grade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house it was second grade before we were allowed to get our ears pierced.  My parents felt that by that age we were responsible enough to care for them ourselves.  There was also a rule that if we didn't care for them and they got infected the earrings would be taken out and the holes allowed to grow closed again.  Also,  we were not allowed to get second holes until we were 18.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was great because it made us feel special and it was a neat ritual to go through with our parents.  It wasn't just a cosmetic change done without thinking but a serious decision that we were allowed to make understanding the consequences of making permanent changes to our bodies.  It was not done lightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T14:33:42.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="653" CreationDate="2011-04-08T14:43:06.490" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the comment that the behavior is typical.  I have a 4 month old who eats her hand.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I will say...it helps her immensely with her teething.  I can see her rubbing her gums because her little teeth are starting to push through. If its not her hand its going to town on some toy (I dont think the pacifier provides enough resistance so she's weening herself off of those). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Totally off topic, but, I read that offering your own fingers to them can help at this stage.  Its true...she goes nuts and tries to chomp our fingers off (very funny).  Basically she just likes the way it feels on sore gums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="92" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T14:43:06.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-08T16:29:48.980" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One popular item is a baby monitor.  However, most cordless home phone systems have a built-in room monitor feature that you can use to the same effect.  I found that it was much more convenient than the baby monitors as it was a lot easier to move a handset from room to room.  Not to mention saving money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2013-12-27T13:56:06.303" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T13:56:06.303" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-08T16:29:48.980" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2011-04-08T16:30:52.877" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm answering this question as a swimming instructor (5 years of experience), NOT as a parent.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We usually encourage parents to start swimming with their children as soon as possible (lessons are available for children as young as 4 months or so where I work).  The rationale behind this is that the sooner you present swimming as an enjoyable activity and practice it with your child, the more at ease he/she will be when the time to swim on their own comes.  You'll have to be in the pool with your child until he/she is at least 3-4 years old, depending on their ability.  If you start early and take good lessons, your child will make very quick progress.  I've seen 3 year olds swim to the bottom of a 12' pool to retrieve objects on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to how, the best thing I could suggest is that you take swimming lessons.  Even if you don't seem to want to, I believe it's the best way to teach children.  If you have access to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redcross.org/portal/site/en/menuitem.d8aaecf214c576bf971e4cfe43181aa0/?vgnextoid=5208aeeb860b1210VgnVCM10000089f0870aRCRD&amp;amp;vgnextfmt=default&quot;&gt;Red-Cross swimming lessons in your area&lt;/a&gt;, those are extremely good.  Also, make sure your child sees the lessons as a reward or a fun activity, not as a burden.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last but not least, use a life jacket rather than swim-aids or things that are strapped to the back as life jackets promote a better body position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: start as early as possible, make it fun, contribute, take lessons and use appropriate floating equipment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="386" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T16:30:52.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-04-08T16:38:17.787" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give?  Never.  However, they can earn it as soon as they are able to do even the smallest of chores.  My four year old earns money folding washrags and unloading the silverware.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T16:38:17.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-04-08T17:08:44.247" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an educational tool, Monopoly is an excellent way to teach basic math and money-management skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I started receiving an allowance when I was 7, though I had been given money before that as gifts for various things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents also made sure 10% was set aside for church, 10% for the piggy bank, and then the rest was mine to spend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="193" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T17:08:44.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-04-08T17:16:00.537" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the implication behind your question is that toilet training might be harder if a child is more likely to need to go during the night - and I am not sure that is always right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own experience with four children (one still going through this process!) leads me to believe it is a mental battle rather than a physical one - my aim was to train our children to &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to go in the loo rather than in bed. I have not found magical solution - molding a child's will is harder than most other jobs in my experience (certainly including my day job as an Oracle DBA) - each of our children was different to the others and patience and persistence were essential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The things that helped us were mostly practical steps to make it as easy as possible to clear up each time - ideal would be being able to put the bed stuff on to rinse (not wash!), change the bed, comfort and clean up a little bemused half-asleep tot all without ever fully waking up :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me giving the children drinks at night (except when they are ill) seems unnecessary and makes life that tiny little bit harder. On the other hand if you take the drink away and your little boy complains, whatever hardship and struggle you go through getting them to accept that you are in charge pays back many times over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;YMMV&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user390" LastEditorDisplayName="user390" LastEditDate="2011-04-08T18:08:15.207" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T18:08:15.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-04-08T17:40:56.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't discourage taking a sippy cup to bed at all. This could cause unnecessary confrontation. If you're worried about potty training / bed-wetting, the following routine has worked well for us with our 3 potty-trained children. Have them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drink a big glass of water (or whatever drink) an hour before bedtime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the bathroom right before they go to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take a sippy cup that is only half full to bed with them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the bathroom as soon as they wake up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of our children have had issues with wetting their beds following this simple plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T17:40:56.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="715" CreationDate="2011-04-08T18:46:28.030" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Remko that piercing an infant's ears violates their right to their own body since they cannot consent. And I would discourage others from making any sort of body modification to their child without his or her consent unless there is a medical necessity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own opinion is that a child should not be permitted to modify his or her own body until they reach a certain maturity. Whether that's a hard-coded  age or dependent on the child's own mental maturation is up for the parent to decide, obviously, but my wife and I plan on making our daughter (who is a toddler) wait until she is at least 12. Of course, that may change, but I think it's not unreasonable to tell a child that they have to wait until a certain age to attain certain privileges. We do it all the time with other facets in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(A short aside: When my brother was 7 he wanted to get a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohawk_hairstyle&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;mohawk&lt;/a&gt; and kept pestering my parents. My mom told him that when he turned 18 he could get one. He seemed to think that was a swell deal and stopped with the incessant requests.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T18:46:28.030" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-04-08T18:59:57.547" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid Stimulai When Kids Are In Bed&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound like a no brainer, but when you tuck your kids in and turn out the light try to avoid any kind of stimulai thereafter, such as singing lullabies, touching them, talking to them, etc.  This will only prolong the sleep process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my children would have trouble going down, or call out to us in the middle of the night, I would walk into their room and simply stand there in the dark near the bed. This gave them comfort, knowing that I was there.  If they whined, reached out for a hug, asked me a question or tried to engage me in conversation, I would not respond - because doing so would teach them that bedtime was a time for something other than sleeping.  Eventually they began to realize that their efforts were futile, and they began to fall asleep faster, with less intervention from me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conversely, when my wife would go into the room, she would sit on the bed, give back rubs. sing a lullaby, talk to them, try to soothe them, etc.  And as soon as she would stop and try to leave, they would start whining again.  She would spend an average of an hour or more a night doing this, and sometimes have to repeat the process, whereas I spent 15 to 20 minutes - tops.  I told her my system, but she didn't think it felt right.  And on some level, I would agree - I wanted to comfort my child, but I knew where that would lead. All said and done, on the nights when I put the kids to bed, my system got the children to go down faster and stay down, whereas my wife's system resulted in long wind-downs and more frequent wake-ups.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="397" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T11:32:39.160" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T11:32:39.160" CommentCount="5" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-08T18:59:57.547" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-04-08T19:05:47.587" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once you start a routine, children that age will begin to insist on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took us a long while to wean my son off his requisite &quot;sippy cup at bedtime&quot; and during the process he did have additional trouble with refusing to go to sleep.  But we had to do it because, at over 4 years old and fully potty trained for a year and a half, he was occasionally wetting the bed (even having used the bathroom just before bed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we ended up doing to ease the transition was allowing him a small cup of water at bedtime, if he requested it.  We would bring in the water, and he would drink what he wanted, then we would take the cup out with us.  That worked well because we could control the portion to prevent any accidents.  Giving him &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; water eased the tension for him of not being allowed to have the water &lt;em&gt;in bed&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its also not good to get in this habit as at some point you won't want to use sippy cups anymore.  When they graduate to a &quot;big kid cup&quot; there will be a lot more risk of spilling the water itself in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T19:05:47.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-04-08T19:17:50.910" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't discourage&lt;/strong&gt; it for a few reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your kid is going to wet the bed, he or she's going to wet the bed. The reason they wet the bed is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/bed-wetting-myths-debunked&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;because the signal to the brain when he or she has to pee isn't functional (or, functional enough) yet&lt;/a&gt; so even a slight tingle would make them pee. [Bed wetting and potty training are &lt;em&gt;totally&lt;/em&gt; different issues. Potty training you can train, bed wetting you really can't at that age (there's evolutionary reason for this as bed wetting is a social problem only). There's nothing wrong with pullups for bedtime only when they are THAT young. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's a GOOD thing to stay hydrated! Milk is 89% water: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diet.com/g/dehydration&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.diet.com/g/dehydration&lt;/a&gt; and as a nation (about 75% of us) &lt;a href=&quot;http://nutrition.about.com/library/blwatercalculator.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;don't drink enough water&lt;/a&gt;. You should keep her in the habit of always drinking something, don't discourage it!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To help prevent peeing the bed, and as a good habit for anyone, you should have him / her pee right before bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some links to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gerber.com/AllStages/nutrition_and_feeding/sippy_cup_dos_and_donts.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;milk and tooth decay&lt;/a&gt; but things like water would be fine. I'm not going to lie though, I personally have been drinking soda before bed since I was damn young and have never had an issue with this, but it IS something to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope the sources were good, but also, I have a baby of my own and I grew up and watched my 3 siblings all from infant to being potty trained. My parents didn't care about them bringing any drink to bed, none had any bed wetting issues, All were potty trained normal time or before their peers. I really just don't think that matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="398" LastEditorDisplayName="user12035" LastEditDate="2018-04-06T08:42:18.063" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T08:42:18.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="741" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="814" CreationDate="2011-04-08T19:36:48.193" Score="8" ViewCount="58511" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old is around 3'8&quot;/45 lbs. and still rides in his forward facing car seat, a Britax Marathon.  Since he's getting older now, I want to put him in a booster seat instead.  All of his friends are using them now (and have been for a few years).  I'm not sure which is safer or if it even matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any links to good research about this would be helpful.  Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="334" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T15:09:48.003" Title="What age/size should I promote my child to a booster seat from a car seat?" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="741" CreationDate="2011-04-08T19:58:08.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd go by what the local DMV/State specifies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nydmv.state.ny.us/dmvfaqs.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NYS states&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Booster seats are for children who have outgrown convertible or toddler seats. Booster seats are for children who are four to eight years old, weigh 40 to 80 pounds, and are less than four feet, nine inches in height.  You can use a booster seat until an adult seat belt correctly fits the child without use of the booster seat. Always use both the shoulder and lap belts with a booster seat. Never use only the lap belt with a booster seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tn.gov/safety/newCRD.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;TN law specifies&lt;/a&gt; (more fitting to your situation):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children age four (4) through age eight (8), and measuring less than four feet nine inches (4'9&quot;) in height, must be secured in a belt-positioning booster seat system, meeting federal motor vehicle safety standards in the rear seat, if available, or according to the child safety restraint system or vehicle manufacturer's instructions. &lt;strong&gt;(Note: If the child is not between age four (4) and age eight (8), but is less than four feet nine inches (4'9&quot;) in height, he/she must still use a seat belt system meeting federal motor vehicle safety standards.)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both results were found googling &quot;booster seat [state]&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="139" LastEditorUserId="139" LastEditDate="2011-04-08T20:38:11.757" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T20:38:11.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="741" CreationDate="2011-04-08T20:39:36.900" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check your local laws.  Car seat use long ago stopped being just about safety and began being about scoring legislative points.  If you live anywhere in the US, these transitions are likely heavily regulated to the point that you don't actually have a choice in the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T20:39:36.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="709" CreationDate="2011-04-08T20:39:50.400" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing we tried which works well (assuming your children are old enough to have started to learn to write) was to have the children help write up the &lt;strong&gt;Swimming Pool Rules&lt;/strong&gt; on a big piece of card or board. Then they help to fix these rules up somewhere near the pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rules are the common sense things like &quot;no swimming unsupervised&quot;, &quot;no fighting&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the written notice helps them to understand that it's very very important, and having them responsible for creating the notice helps them to commit to it and take it seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T20:39:50.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-04-08T23:11:37.660" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our dentist made sure to ask, at my child's first visit, whether we let him go to bed with milk or a bottle/sippy cup.  He said that he deals with a lot of kids who have rotting teeth due to milk sitting on them all night, and/or badly misaligned teeth due to nighttime sippy-cup chewing.  His recommendations were as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children with teeth should be allowed nothing but water after night-time brushing.  If your child consumes anything else, especially anything containing sugars (including milk -- lactose is a sugar) he/she &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; brush again before sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your child wants water at night, he/she should have a nightstand or other surface near the bed to leave it on.  Once a child has teeth, nighttime chewing and sucking serve to misalign the teeth, making it more likely that your child will eventually need braces.  By making sure that your child's water stays on a nightstand when not in use, you give your child a better chance at good teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-08T23:11:37.660" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="289" CreationDate="2011-04-09T01:10:49.790" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that it's absolutely appropriate to know exactly what's going on with your kids. However, monitoring babysitter without her consent may be illegal in your country. That's easily solvable: &lt;em&gt;get her consent&lt;/em&gt;! First, describe &lt;em&gt;politely&lt;/em&gt; that you want to monitor &lt;em&gt;your children&lt;/em&gt; (or just your &lt;em&gt;house&lt;/em&gt;). You can name your reasons if you wish, like safety, security, etc. For this you are installing such and such devices. During the hours she's babysitting this may also record her and you'd like to ask if it's OK for her to be recorded. If she's not, don't start monitoring. Instead start looking for another babysitter. Interviewing a candidates you can mention that you have child monitoring system and ask whether they are fine with it recording them as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For legal reasons (or just to be sure), you may also need babysitter written consent: write a page describing the monitoring and ask her to read &amp;amp; sign. You may want to get a legal advice on the subject from your attorney to be sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW, just knowing there is some kind of monitoring may improve babysitter behavior, but it's better to avoid people whose behavior changes greatly. You don't want her to play angel in from of the camera and shout on/beat your child when out of view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="404" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T01:10:49.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="747" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-09T03:06:09.657" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &quot;activities&quot; tag is for things our children do, and things we do with our children, such as: firearms and martial arts training, art classes, cooking, swimming, gardening, and so on.  Often, asking on an activity-specific forum doesn't get our question in front of other parents who understand the specific ins and outs of engaging children in a particular activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Questions that should be tagged &quot;activities&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How old should my daughter be before I teach her to swim?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My 4yo son really wants to learn to cook; what should I do to make the kitchen safe for him to work in?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When backpacking with young children, how do you prepare them with regard to survival skills and first aid?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What can I do to help prepare my child with SID (sensory integration disorder) for horseback riding with the family&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Questions that should NOT be tagged &quot;activities&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I help my son improve his grades?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What can I do to help a picky eater get balanced nutrition?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why aren't my triplets getting along?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I encourage my children and my step-children to play together more?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-04-09T22:19:02.310" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T22:19:02.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="748" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-09T03:06:09.657" Score="0" Body="For questions that pertain to activities we do with our children, or that our children do." OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-22T15:08:32.640" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T15:08:32.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="749" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-09T04:27:15.923" Score="11" ViewCount="3244" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard that girls learn better in an all-girl classroom setting, but that boys learn better in a mixed boy/girl classroom composition. Is there any statistical evidence that this lends merit to this argument? What factors were measured, and what is the psychological explanation behind the findings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:51:17.540" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T21:04:06.810" Title="Are same-gender classrooms better for girls, or mixed-gender classrooms better for boys?" Tags="|education|school|gender|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2011-04-09T05:25:54.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started taking my daughter to swim class when she was 3 months and has been in swim class ever since.  This teaches them to not fear the water and its a lot of fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T05:25:54.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="752" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-09T13:17:32.840" Score="25" ViewCount="4261" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are modern cloth diapers such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gdiapers.com/&quot;&gt;gDiapers&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bumgenius.com/&quot;&gt;bumGenius&lt;/a&gt; really cost efficient compared to disposible diapers?  It seems the diapers themselves are quite expensive and then you have to include the cost of cleaning them, and have enough on hand that you don't run out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do they really work out cheaper in the long run?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T06:18:08.087" Title="Are modern cloth diapers really cost efficient compared to disposible diapers?" Tags="|money|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="753" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="754" CreationDate="2011-04-09T13:47:33.470" Score="16" ViewCount="2984" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been potty training my daughter over the past few days and its not going to well.  How can I figure out if she is just not ready for it or I should try other techniques.  We came up with a sticker chart to give her motivation and prizes for going but no luck so far.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is 2 1/2 years old and she seems to comprehend what we are saying but its not triggering when she has to go.  Any advice would be great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is interesting, she seems to have the pooping part down but for some reason doesn't recognize peeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T12:52:10.933" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T11:22:32.580" Title="What are some suggestions for helping with potty training?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="753" CreationDate="2011-04-09T14:30:53.060" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Few days is just too short to draw the conclusions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say &amp;mdash; continue to do what your were doing, and:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure she is not wearing a nappy any time she is awake.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch for the signs that she is about to pee and help her to sit down on the potty. Initially she wont be willing to sit for longer than a minute - but try to keep her sitting by distracting or entertaining her while she seated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even if she did pee already, get her on the potty after that - idea is to establish a mental link between peeing and sitting on her potty (&quot;going to the toilet&quot;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user413" LastEditorUserId="209" LastEditDate="2011-06-24T05:22:02.187" LastActivityDate="2011-06-24T05:22:02.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="749" CreationDate="2011-04-09T14:55:38.053" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer depends a lot on the culture the children are raised in.  For example, when working with children raised in a culture where strict gender roles are the norm, and boys and girls aren't normally allowed to socialize with one another, I found that children performed considerably better when segregated by sex.  Boys and girls just weren't sure how to act one another, and they were wasting processor cycles on that instead of their schoolwork.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, when working with children raised in a culture where sex roles were not so divided (boys and girls might favor different toys, but they socialized freely and didn't see one another as foreign and confusing), I found no difference in the performance of same-sex and mixed classroom in aggregate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;However&lt;/em&gt; this isn't great anecdotal evidence, because I never experienced a case where classrooms segregated by sex were taught the same material the same way.  In every case, girls' classes centered around language skills and promoted conservative strategies, while boys' classes emphasized math and science and promoted risk-taking.  This &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be interpreted to mean that girls and boys raised in strict sex roles have different educational needs, or it &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be interpreted to mean that girls and boys raised that way &lt;em&gt;appear&lt;/em&gt; to perform better when the subjects and strategies stereotypically associated with the other gender (and bearing a stigma for their own gender) are de-emphasized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, though the question only addressed educational performance, I felt the need to address the impact on socialization between the sexes as well. In both settings, children educated in same-sex settings had trouble working with the opposite sex in a professional setting as adults (some got over it with experience, some didn't, and it was far more pronounced in cultures with strict sex roles).  Additionally, teenagers who spent their entire childhoods in same-sex education tended to have more stereotypical views of the opposite sex: this was adaptive in a society where those stereotypes were the only permitted behavior, it was like learning a script you would have to perform later, but was maladaptive in a more varied society where both boys' and girls' real behavior was more individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T14:55:38.053" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="756" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-09T15:51:16.840" Score="9" ViewCount="12172" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it better to get an infant car seat or a seat that converts from one stage to the next?  Is there any benefit to the infant car seat that justifies paying for an infant car seat &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; a toddler car seat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-20T22:12:31.210" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T23:25:42.573" Title="Is it better to get an infant car seat or a convertible?" Tags="|infant|car-seat|money|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="756" CreationDate="2011-04-09T16:28:33.733" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are pros and cons to each:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you buy an infant car seat, it can do things like attach to shopping carts and strollers so that you don't have to move and wake your baby, and acting as a standalone carrier or rocker when you travel.  I don't know of any convertible car seat that can do these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you buy a convertible car seat, you forgo the features mentioned above, but you save money, having only bought one seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T16:28:33.733" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="715" CreationDate="2011-04-09T16:39:05.677" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really wanted my ears pierced, but my parents said I had to wait until I was 10 years old.  Their reasoning was that I had to be sure I wanted it done and mature enough to keep them clean.  On my tenth birthday my parents took me to the salon and I got my hair and nails done and then went to get my ears pierced.  They made a big deal about how grown up I was and I felt so special.  I had to wait until I was 18 for any more piercings, tattoos, etc.  At that point they said my body was my own, I was an adult and I had the freedom to make my own decisions.  I got a second hole in my ears and one at the top of my ear, but they all came out and closed up within a couple years as I matured into who I wanted to be.   Now that I have a daughter of my own, I think we will do the same for her&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T16:39:05.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="756" CreationDate="2011-04-09T16:46:27.277" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting a convertible car seat saves you money in having to purchase two seats, but I would recommend an infant seat.  When you first bring that little peanut home, they are so tiny and dwarfed by any car seat.  The infant seat has them in a reclined position that I have not seen in a convertible seat.  When my son was a little over a year and we were preparing for the birth of our second, we purchased a convertible seat for him that goes up 65 pounds in a five point harness and then to a booster till he is 100 pounds.  My favorite part is that if they fall asleep while running errands, you can take the bucket out and get things done while they sleep on.  I truly missed this feature when my son outgrew his infant seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T16:46:27.277" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="761" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="765" CreationDate="2011-04-09T16:52:27.973" Score="15" ViewCount="46495" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do you teach kids to defend themselves, without becoming bullies?&lt;/strong&gt; I'm talking about younger kids (1.5 to 3yo) who are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; mature enough (or old enough) to take self-defense classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is two and a half, and he's a bit on the small side; he has a lot of older cousins (and younger cousins) whom, for lack of a better word, get physical him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having them take his toys or food is ok. But what I'm talking about is when they:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hit him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hit him &lt;em&gt;hard&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bite him (he has scars from one bite-mark)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Push him down (especially if he's running and he falls)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I teach him to defend himself, but without becoming a bully? In the past, two techniques that worked adequately were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leaving the situation (running from biters)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Complaining to an adult&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, these are both dependent on a parent being available immediately to assess the situation (and see who's the wrong party), and in the long-term, this will make him &lt;em&gt;dependent on external authority to hold his own.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking forward, if he goes to school and gets into a tough fight, I don't want him to be &quot;easy pickings&quot; for bullies or to always be the losing end of the (hopefully very rare) fight; I want him to have the skills and confidence to hold is own. Without degenerating into becoming a bully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What techniques have you used on your kids which worked?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="151" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-09-23T06:26:06.827" LastActivityDate="2017-06-01T23:16:01.213" Title="How do you teach toddlers to defend themselves?" Tags="|toddler|bullying|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="753" CreationDate="2011-04-09T17:00:19.447" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been using a clothes free method when we are home.  Even underwear are tight around the legs like a diaper, so they don't quite recognize the difference.  If you are concerned about your home, like I am, send her outside.  Our son loves to run around the backyard and when he wets he looks down and tells us.  It might take a couple of intensive days and even then some kiddos just won't do it if Mom and Dad want it too badly because it is something they have power over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Day 1- Totally clothes free at home.  Focus on pottying and nothing else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Day 2- Totally clothes free at home.  Be out of the house with no diaper or underwear- just loose pants.  Maybe go for a walk to the park. Try to avoid the car or anything tight around the legs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Day 3- Totally clothes free at home.  Maybe she can wear a t-shirt or some loose pants, but try to let her have as much freedom as possible.  Try being out of the house for an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.  Still loose clothing, but no underwear or diaper and try to avoid a car seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the days progress, try to give her as much clothes free time until she really gets the hang of it.  It saves on laundry, but it also eliminates the subconscious feeling of having something to catch the &quot;stuff&quot;.  When she has an &quot;accident&quot; try not to use negative language- just reinforce what you want her to do.  &quot;Our pee pee goes in the potty&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is almost 2 1/2 and we have used a sticker chart to set goals and earn rewards.  He does really well with that, but given that generally boys take longer to potty train, we are still working on it.  We use this method and sometimes he does really well and sometimes he is just too busy.  The good news is that kids rarely go to kindergarten still making messes in their pants.  They all get it eventually.  Good Luck!   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T17:00:19.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="763" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="764" CreationDate="2011-04-09T17:02:17.860" Score="9" ViewCount="2434" Body="&lt;p&gt;What method is effective for teaching very young children vocabulary? I mean that you have a way of continuously teaching them more; you don't just run out. And you can tell it works, because when they identify the item the second time, they can put a name to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most parents start naming household items, which is great (and practical), but you very quickly run out of items to name. YouTube is great for wild-life (different animals, birds, sea life, etc.) but I'm hesitant to stick my toddler in front of a screen for an extended period of time at his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What methods have you used that worked? Books are ok too, but run out too quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="151" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-09T21:08:10.203" LastActivityDate="2021-03-21T04:14:39.770" Title="What methods are effective for teaching vocabulary to young children?" Tags="|infant|toddler|teaching|learning|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2011-04-09T17:11:57.300" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to teach kids vocabulary is to talk to them all the time.  When you go to the store, tell them what you are doing, what you need to find, name produce, etc.  Just fill their brains with as many words as possible and let them sort it out.  They will surprise you when they name a papaya or asparagus by site at the store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have used flash cards as well as different flash card apps on our phones or ipad.  Our son loves playing and he has an incredible vocabulary.  We also read a lot of books, sing songs and name the things we see.  If kids are surrounded by language, they will pick it up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T17:11:57.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="761" CreationDate="2011-04-09T17:53:39.980" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, at this age, it's not the child's responsibility to defend himself/herself, it is the parent's responsibility to make sure that the play environment an surroundings are safe so that the child does not get hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing you can focus on is teaching all the kids who are playing together to say &lt;em&gt;STOP&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;NO&lt;/em&gt; when they're being hurt or in an uncomfortable position. Teach all the children who are playing together that &lt;em&gt;stop means stop&lt;/em&gt;, and if they continue after someone asks them to stop they will be put in timeout. Also make sure that you model this behavior. For example, if a child says &lt;em&gt;stop&lt;/em&gt; when you're tickling them, then you should stop immediately and say, &quot;OK you asked me to stop, so I stopped right away.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A common &lt;em&gt;clever&lt;/em&gt; response you'll hear from older kids is, &quot;I didn't stop, because he didn't ask nicely&quot;. My response to this is, &quot;he doesn't have to ask nicely when he's defending himself.&quot; Then I put the child in timeout because they broke the rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching these sorts of boundaries are particularly important for children to learn early on. For example, this lays the foundation early on for boys to know (when they're older) that its not OK to continue when a girl says &lt;em&gt;stop&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the safest and best thing to do is to segregate older kids from younger kids. If possible, have them play in separate rooms. With our 18mo twins, we will sometimes have to put them in their play pen to keep them safe when our older kids are playing too rough, or when there are too many older kids over at our house. I would recommend a larger play-pen (just search on Amazon and you'll find some for $50-$100 USD).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T17:53:39.980" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="756" CreationDate="2011-04-09T18:05:33.977" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Better for your wallet: the convertible.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Better for your infant's spine: the infant seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Austrian automobile club recommends to use infant seats for infants and not convertibles and my wife who is a trained physio therapist explains why: infants' spines are not fully developed, which means that infants should &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; sit or even recline until they are able to sit by themselves. Only then do they have the muscular strength that we adults aren't even aware of to keep the spine from collapsing on itself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This medical opinion might be different in your region, so I would recommend that you ask your automobile club and/or your pediatrician or physio therapist if you have one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The automobile clubs in several countries I know actually offer approved infant seats for rent at ridiculously low (symbolic) rates. That made our decision for a (rented) infant seat and a (self-bought) child seat very easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T18:05:33.977" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="756" CreationDate="2011-04-09T18:21:52.407" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We bought a stroller that came with an infant seat which made it really nice because the infant seat locked right into the car or into the stroller without waking our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The infant seat lasted us a while too so we did not have to buy a car seat for a while. If I remember correctly the seat was adjustable so it could sit upright a little bit making it work for us longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="42" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T18:21:52.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2011-04-09T18:39:45.773" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since your child is a pre-schooler, I'd suggest you to focus on teaching him to read and make him interested in reading. Comic books are great for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also from personal experience a great vocabulary booster are games involving words and letters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T18:39:45.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="761" CreationDate="2011-04-09T18:43:26.457" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most kids under four just aren't equipped mentally for meaningful self defense.  This is why few dojos take children under four outside a therapy setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are correct that every time your child flees, or seeks outside authority for assistance in one of these situations he/she is getting closer to a pattern of learned helplessness and being a ready victim.  To raise a strong, confident child who is not an easy target in the future, you must &lt;em&gt;prevent&lt;/em&gt; the bullying from happening in the first place.  You cannot always do this with an older child, but it is necessary in infancy and toddlerhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A responsible adult (or equally responsible older child) should be monitoring at all times, so that problems can be stopped before they start.  For example, nobody should be roughhousing in the vicinity of toddlers, period.  It should never get to the point of a toddler getting dragged in.  If your extended family cannot set boundaries such that their children wouldn't dream of hurting their cousins -- let alone littler ones who cannot hope to defend themselves -- you should have a serious talk with them about whether their children should be around yours at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once a child is four, give or take, they should be enrolled in proper martial arts study so that they can learn both how and when to defend themselves and others.  Though, if this ever becomes a necessity with one's own family, I think you have bigger problems to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T18:43:26.457" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="770" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-09T18:52:36.200" Score="10" ViewCount="777" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is often said that you should introduce certain foods in a certain order. These reasons often have to do with allergies, choking hazards, digestive system maturity, etc. What ages should your child be before you introduce different foods and why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer I'm looking for would consist of a list of different foods, what age it is generally recommended to introduce each food, and why you should wait until that age (allergies, choking, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T06:46:45.230" Title="When should I introduce different foods to an infant or toddler?" Tags="|health|eating|food|allergies|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2011-04-09T19:09:35.613" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have always talked to our daughter as if she were an adult. It was rare that we would use baby words, though we would dumb things down a little in her earlier years (she is now 9). You soon grasp a child's vocabulary, so the first few times you use a new word with the child you need to explain it. It is the same with expressions - yesterday I was reprimanding her by saying &quot;I give and inch and she takes a mile&quot;, then immediately asked if she knew what the expression meant (we live in a metric country).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the child gets used to various words and hears then in context, then they remember them. When they come across them in books and other conversions, those words get reinforced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has a very full vocabulary now and excels at English in school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other side, my daughter is bi-langual, but I speak her second language (Turkish) poorly so can only speak to her in dumbed down terms. As a consequence, her Turkish is at a similarly poor level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T19:09:35.613" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="749" CreationDate="2011-04-09T19:18:08.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of my queries on Google Scholar returned results for a very specific age group (grade school, college, etc), subject (science, computer skills, etc), or learning approaches/settings (in-class instruction, small group projects, etc). Finding a more broadly-scoped experiment or observational study on this topic would require quite a bit of digging, and perhaps some help from a subject librarian at your local library or college/university.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HedgeMage mentioned the distinction between academic learning and social learning, and I would like to underscore this distinction. The answer to your question will likely be different if you only care about academic performance vs if you only care about social development vs if you care about overall performance/development. Complicating the matter further, both academic performance and social development can be broken down into multiple categories (exposure to facts/ideas, development of important technical skills, ability to work with others, respect for other people, respect for other cultures, etc). And there are probably other aspects of the educational process that I'm not even considering now!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is probably why it will be difficult to find any statistical evidence for a broadly-scoped study of this topic, and why so many of the studies focus on specifics. It might be worth looking at a few different studies that approach the topic from different angles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T19:18:08.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2011-04-09T19:28:34.937" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answers given so far are great, and cover most of what I would have said--talk to them and with them constantly, and get them interested in reading. The only thing I would add on top of that is to teach them signs associated with the words. Of course, you will only be able to do this with a few words at first (unless you have experience with sign language), but it will help reinforce the vocabulary and will help them realize that there are meanings (real objects) associated with the words. At that point they will start to move from simply repeating sounds and making up new ones to actually using the words in the right context to describe the right things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastEditorUserId="14" LastEditDate="2011-04-09T19:35:10.563" LastActivityDate="2011-04-09T19:35:10.563" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-04-10T00:12:20.603" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the research I'd done, if you clean the cloth diapers yourself, it will wind up being cheaper than disposables.  How much cheaper depends on things such as how you clean them (by hand, or in an electric washing machine, plus the number of diapers cleaned in each load), how much you are paying for water, soap etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you are using a diaper service to clean them for you, it will be significantly more expensive than it would be to purchase disposables (we had started with a diaper service, and then switched to disposables after about 2 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is interesting to note that, at least in the United States, diaper services wash the cloth diapers repeatedly (I've read that 7 washes is about standard) before sending them back out to customers.  When you factor in the energy used to wash them, the environmental cost winds up being roughly the same as with disposables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-12-14T00:08:22.403" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T00:08:22.403" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="775" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="776" CreationDate="2011-04-10T02:14:09.587" Score="7" ViewCount="2276" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the best type of milk fat content for a normal 18-month old?  Regular whole milk, 2%, 1% or fat-free (skim)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="422" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-18T15:32:45.063" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T17:44:24.683" Title="What is the best milk fat content for a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="775" CreationDate="2011-04-10T03:17:33.673" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is recommended for children under 2 to NOT have reduced fat milk. The risk being that the calories lost by giving them reduced fat milk may not allow for adequate growth [&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ivillage.com/toddlers-whole-or-low-fat-milk-your-toddler/6-n-146158&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Toddlers: Whole or low-fat milk for your toddler?&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;]. Although &quot;Overweight toddlers can switch to low-fat milk even earlier though, after their first birthday&quot; [&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.about.com/od/milk/a/210_milk.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Milk - Milk Nutrition and Recommendations for Kids&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From that evidence definately do not go to reduced fat until 12 months. After 12 months, only do it if they are overweight, otherwise you may affect their growth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 24 months, I would do it at your discretion. If your family drinks reduced fat milk, it is easier for them to drink it as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="250" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2015-03-18T17:44:24.683" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T17:44:24.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="653" CreationDate="2011-04-10T03:40:23.267" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my own personal experience, I don't think you need to force the issue.  Your child should eventually stop on her own, although when that happens will vary.  I sucked my thumb as a child and didn't actually stop until I was about 9, but there was no outside influence or push.  I just plain stopped one day.  My cousin did the same, although I'm pretty positive he stopped a lot sooner than I did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user424" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T03:40:23.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-04-10T03:58:02.723" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;We washed our own cloth diapers with our first child, and only used disposable on trips. With our second, we did mostly cloth for the first year of her life, then mostly disposable for the second. We actually bought a front-loading washer, and it paid for itself in water and electricity bills within a few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, cloth diapers are quite a bit cheaper: the only big cost is the upfront one. If you have an energy-efficient, front-loading washer, you'll barely notice the cost of washing them. Again, there's an upfront cost there too, but you get the benefits long after the washer has paid for itself. Also, we just liked the cloth diapers better. They feel a lot nicer than disposables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why did we switch to disposables? Well, the velcro on the diapers we were using (bumGenius) started to wear out. Also, they didn't absorb enough, even with multiple liners, when our daughter wore them over night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="425" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T03:58:02.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="564" CreationDate="2011-04-10T04:15:44.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We watched &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_in_Mathmagic_Land&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; in my calculus class just for fun one day. I'm not a parent and only vaguely remember being the age you're probably targeting, but we thought it was amusing. It's pretty old (1959), but goes over some basic math concepts. It's only half an hour long, so it isn't really a cartoon &lt;em&gt;series&lt;/em&gt; per se, but might be fun to show them once or twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SzrD8.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;donald duck in mathmagic land&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="430" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T04:15:44.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="770" CreationDate="2011-04-10T04:16:43.690" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This site says no dairy or citrus till age one, no wheat or egg whites till two. And no peanut butter, fish, or shellfish till age three, because of allergies. It recommends against any whole nuts till age four.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/infant/startingsolids.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/infant/startingsolids.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's fine advice, but we read similar recommendations, and then once our kids were one, they basically ate what we ate, and they turned out fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="425" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T04:16:43.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="574" CreationDate="2011-04-10T04:20:49.457" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's possible that he just made it up. My son (now almost six) went through a period starting around that age, in which he was constantly coming up with memorable phrases. If he did invent it, enjoy this phase while it lasts. Once they hit five or so, due to the influence of pop culture or peers, their expressions become much more conventional than in that golden 3.5-5 phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="425" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-21T12:21:50.353" LastActivityDate="2019-08-21T12:21:50.353" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="782" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="787" CreationDate="2011-04-10T04:37:23.453" Score="16" ViewCount="3183" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to imagine a more difficult life decision than deciding to be a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you know if you're ready to be a parent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="431" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T22:42:24.383" Title="How do you know if you're ready to be a parent?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="770" CreationDate="2011-04-10T04:41:56.547" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It wouldn't be a bad idea to ask your pediatrician. There are general guidelines, like start with rice cereal around 5 or 6 months, then move to whole grains, then pureed fruits and veggies. Those are good, but other, kid-specific factors (weight, history, nursing vs bottle-fed) may be relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you should also get a list of foods to NOT eat before a certain age. As Johnny mentioned, there are some foods that can cause any small kid bad allergy issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://j.mp/fEmfP5&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is a good, general guide on introducing solid foods to your baby (it's based on &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.to/gJWgz2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this book&lt;/a&gt;). Also, I do recommend the &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.to/hbdMkY&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Caring for Your Baby book&lt;/a&gt;, as it has several pages of info on introducing your child to solid foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you introduce new foods, make sure to introduce each, one at a time, and to wait a few days between each to look for signs of allergic reactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="428" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T04:41:56.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-04-10T05:19:53.493" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a really hard question to answer because the answer is somewhat subjective, and ultimately does not determine whether someone becomes a parent or not. A lot of people don't know whether they're ready or not, and then they just go and have kids anyway. If you want to become a parent in a conscious way, I think you evaluate your financial status, your emotional readiness, and your relationship with your partner, assuming you have one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, you have run some numbers on whether you can afford to take care of a child (it's not cheap). Also, you have a reasonable belief that you're a pretty emotionally secure person: as a parent, you're going to have to neglect yourself for a few years. Finally, it's a lot easier to become a parent with a committed partner who will support you than it is to do so alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, at some point, if you want to become a parent, you just have to take a leap of faith and go for it. The experience is so profound that it changes you as a person. You will probably find out that parenting is both harder and more rewarding than you expected. The most important part of being a parent is loving, sheltering, and caring for a small human until he or she grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="425" LastEditorUserId="425" LastEditDate="2011-04-10T05:32:30.020" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T05:32:30.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-04-10T07:18:49.833" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you like playing with kids? Do think about parenthood and you like it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IF both answers are &quot;yes&quot; - you're ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T07:18:49.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-04-10T07:32:39.997" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nobody is ever really &lt;em&gt;ready&lt;/em&gt; to become a parent, even when they become one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, there are any number of criteria that people use to weigh in the decision of whether they want to have a child. Financial, religious, emotional, mental and many other considerations need to be part of the decision to start trying to have a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a baby is not something to be taken lightly. It's possibly the hardest, yet at the same time most rewarding thing I've ever done. But if you feel that you're ready to add a new dynamic to your life, if you enjoy being around children, and you want the ultimate in creating something that will take life beyond your own, then you may be as ready as you'll ever get until the baby comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T07:32:39.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-04-10T08:24:17.970" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I usually say this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you want to have kids?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have you found someone to have them with?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then go for it. Ready or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to knowing if you are ready I think that may be very personal. If you take, personality wise, after your mom or dad, ask them. As a generic list I'd have the following points, but I'm not that sure they really are universal:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you feel like turning your life completely upside down? It's not turning a new leaf, it's a completely new book.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you OK with giving up the wild partying? (You can still do some non-wild partying, there are baby-sitters and family reunions.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you keep yourself at least somewhat together even when you haven't slept properly for days?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you OK with exchanging your freedom and ego for smiles and hugs?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you OK to always worry, day and night, for the rest of your life?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you reach a state of Zen-like tranquility and patience while having blaring sirens in your ear and people bopping you on the head with toys? Or at least abstain from screaming and hitting someone?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you are more then ready. And if you aren't, you will be quite quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T08:24:17.970" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-04-10T08:37:03.210" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you start asking yourself questions like &quot;Am I ready to be a parent?&quot;, then you probably are ready to be a parent, or at least, as ready as any other first time parent. Having kids is really, really weird. Seriously, its not like anything you've ever done before. So it's not something you can &lt;em&gt;get&lt;/em&gt; ready for, emotionally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do your books, though, and check your insurance out. You can sort of prepare practically. People will give you a lot of the stuff you need (clothes and what not) but formula, bottles, diapers... that all adds up. But people do pay for it. So as long as you are solvent and feel comfortable with your employment situation, you're probably as ready as you're going to get financially as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T08:37:03.210" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="775" CreationDate="2011-04-10T11:24:52.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our Doctor suggested using &lt;strong&gt;toddler milk&lt;/strong&gt; up to 24 months and then regular milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you skip toddler milk, &lt;strong&gt;regular milk&lt;/strong&gt; should be used at least up to 24 months (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002448.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; reference), unless they are at risk of being overweight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we were warned to always &lt;strong&gt;add sugar&lt;/strong&gt; when using cow's milk. (Unfortunately I cannot find an online reference for this.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="41" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T11:24:52.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="537" CreationDate="2011-04-10T12:01:51.843" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apps are so cheap that if you can afford it... keep buying them. The value of the iPad is not the technology but the variety. Kids love variety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our iPad has Madden an Mystery Mansion on it and my kid would sneak off and play Mystery Mansion ahead of Madden (and he loves sports). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only problem wih the variety is that it is easy to switch if the game gets too challenging. But don't get frustrated if it happens... more than likely what they do is go back and try again later (just like we do). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user438" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-19T13:39:15.943" LastActivityDate="2018-09-19T13:39:15.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="791" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-10T15:24:51.420" Score="12" ViewCount="4758" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I have a child who is consistently made fun of at school, what should I do to help my child learn to cope, ignore, or respond to the situation. What should I do to help prevent the situation from continuing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: To be more specific, I want to know how to react if a teenage child (ages 13-18) is made fun of because of some non-modifiable (surgery excluded) aspect of their physical appearance. Examples might include a large nose, pronounced ears, or a physical deformity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-16T00:52:07.837" LastActivityDate="2017-07-30T01:47:38.247" Title="How should I react when my child is being teased at school?" Tags="|school|teen|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="792" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="796" CreationDate="2011-04-10T15:30:16.707" Score="17" ViewCount="4744" Body="&lt;p&gt;I visited a friend-of-the-family in hospital soon after they'd had their new baby. I was surprised to see a jar of honey by the bedside. I thought it was for the parents to have in Tea or on toast, but the father explained that it was customary in their family for the father to dip his finger in honey and put it in the newborns' mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd not seen this before. Is it a common thing? ..and is it a good idea?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T07:38:21.763" Title="Should you give honey to a newborn?" Tags="|food|newborn|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="791" CreationDate="2011-04-10T15:56:05.367" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question was asked on the Dr Jenn show on Cosmo radio on Sirius XM. Most of this response is paraphrased and expanded from the answer of Dr Jenn on that show, while the rest is personal experience and opinion. There are multiple levels to this answer depending on the type of teasing and even the gender of the child. Boys and girls tend to tease each other different as children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boys tend to do it as a show of aggressive dominance. One way to cope with this teasing is to show the boy how to stick up for themselves to the teasing person. Sometimes this display of power is enough to stop the teasing. However, you do not want to condone or support fighting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For girls, it's far more subtle and manipulative, with the teasing girls tending to complete exclude the teased girl. This can be very difficult for the teased person to cope with because there is no good way to break up he group-think of a group of girls who are being coerced into excluding a girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, the first level&lt;/strong&gt; would be something like discussing the issue with your child about the types of teasing, why the teasing is occurring, and what they may be able to do to prevent it or turn it around. It's important to identify the source of the taunting: is it due to weight issues? Appearance? Socio-Economic Status? Hobbies? Sometimes, it can be due to something your child is doing that you didn't know about such as acting up in class, teasing other kids, or not playing nicely with others. This can be tricky and multifaceted, so it's important to try to probe past rationalizations and excuses that may be at the forefront to find any simple, teachable lessons that may be at the root of the bullying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The second level&lt;/strong&gt; may be something like talking to the parents of children who are teasing your kids or talking to all parents at some form of PTA meeting or similar grouping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The third level&lt;/strong&gt; is discussing the issue with the teacher of the class to see if there's anything the teacher can do to watch for and diffuse the teasing behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The fourth level&lt;/strong&gt; is discussing the issue with the principal. Usually for extreme cases of bullying, the schools have some resources available to help children. This includes stuff like adult shadows that will roughly follow the child around to diffuse bullying. The reason being that kids will generally not tease kids when there is a grownup around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The fifth level&lt;/strong&gt; if nothing has worked so far is to look into other schools in the area that may have better resources to combat bullying. This should be for only the most systemic, repeated, and severe cases of bullying. Of course, if you've made it this far in the process, then the bullying must be terrible at this point, and the previous school was dangerously negligent. At this tier there is also the opportunity for legal action against the school for not providing a safe learning environment for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, the most important thing at any level of this process is to make sure your child knows that you trust them, believe them, love them, and will protect them no matter what happens. When children know that their parents are behind them, their ability to withstand teasing is significantly greater. You want to resist overreacting, but you also want to resist just telling your child to &quot;toughen up&quot; or &quot;deal with it&quot; or &quot;just ignore it&quot; or things like that may show you as callous or downplay the issues the child is facing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user445" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T15:56:05.367" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="707" CreationDate="2011-04-10T16:56:02.903" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe a wonderful reference for this question has been written by Dr Laura Berman who is a fixture of the Oprah Radio station on Sirius/XM and the Oprah Winfrey Network on television. She discusses every facet of this question including things to watch out for, specific conversations and phrasings to use, and when to start to phase in information about sexuality to raise healthy, well-adjusted boys and girls. She states it far more eloquently than I could ever hope to, so I've attached links to the materials below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Amazon - Talking To Your Kids About Sex - Dr Laura Berman:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0756657385&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Talking-Your-Kids-About-Sex/dp/0756657385&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Online (Free) Handbook On Talking To Your Kids About Sex&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Download-Dr-Laura-Bermans-Talking-to-Kids-About-Sex-Handbook&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Download-Dr-Laura-Bermans-Talking-to-Kids-About-Sex-Handbook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user447" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T16:56:02.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-04-10T18:19:23.013" Score="0" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get to know if you're ready as the kids grow.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't wait to become a wise sage before have kids, because you probably won't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="448" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T18:19:23.013" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="792" CreationDate="2011-04-10T18:48:05.620" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honey shouldn't be given till the age of 1 year. It can contain spores of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clostridium_botulinum&quot;&gt;Clostridium botulinum&lt;/a&gt;, which causes &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Botulism&quot;&gt;botulism&lt;/a&gt;. An adult's intestinal tract can prevent the growth of these spores, but in a baby the spores can grow and produce &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1016%2FS0022-3476%2879%2980863-X&quot;&gt;life-threatening toxins&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="411" LastEditorUserId="411" LastEditDate="2011-04-11T04:18:50.447" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T04:18:50.447" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="792" CreationDate="2011-04-10T20:19:32.167" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Occasionally, honey contains bacteria which can produce toxins in a baby’s intestines, leading to a very serious illness (infant botulism), so it’s best not to give your child honey until they’re one year old. Honey is a sugar, so avoiding it will also help prevent tooth decay.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Foodstoavoid.aspx&quot;&gt;Via&lt;/a&gt; the U.K. National Health Service.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastActivityDate="2011-04-10T20:19:32.167" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="798" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-11T02:24:29.870" Score="8" ViewCount="9944" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize that some countries might have mandatory government-regulated driving courses before you can get a driver's license, but I think that most countries allow parents the option of teaching their children to drive. Assuming the option is available to you, what are the pros / cons of personally teaching your teenager to drive versus putting them in a driving course?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:34:05.577" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T16:13:23.290" Title="Should I enroll my child in driving lessons or teach them myself?" Tags="|driving|teen|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="799" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="857" CreationDate="2011-04-11T02:41:00.027" Score="17" ViewCount="4433" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize that this question can have many personal or subjective viewpoints, so the answer I'm looking for is what the best-known data shows us from two perspectives:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is there an average breastfeeding duration that is found in other mammals? This should perhaps be normalized based on the gestational period. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What does the data say about breast milk providing continued benefit? In particular, is there a certain age or weight after which breast milk no longer provides measurable or worthwhile benefit?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially, a good answer will be backed by science and research, not personal opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-07-15T11:50:55.670" LastActivityDate="2023-02-06T12:59:50.947" Title="How long is breastfeeding effective and worthwhile?" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|nutrition|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="800" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="818" CreationDate="2011-04-11T02:47:11.473" Score="29" ViewCount="1122" Body="&lt;p&gt;How should I explain death to a child under 5-6 years old if a close family member or friend dies?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T04:51:26.203" Title="How should I talk to my child about death?" Tags="|death|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="801" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-11T03:04:06.700" Score="11" ViewCount="8935" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5 year old boy who is supposed to start Kindergarten in the US this year. He is advanced in many academic areas already, and we are worried he would be bored in Kindergarten. He is reading and doing math on a second grade level. He is not quite on a second grade level in writing and spelling, but definitely well beyond what most starting first-graders are working on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can most likely test him into the first grade, but we're wondering what some of the pros and cons might be in doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a note, he's above average height for his age and acts quite mature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2017-10-04T04:19:25.070" Title="What are the pros and cons of having an advanced student skip Kindergarten?" Tags="|education|school|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2011-04-11T03:19:53.600" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a HUGE variability to when children will sleep through the night, especially if you don't Ferberize or do any &quot;cry it out&quot; variant.  Some babies sleep through the night on their own by 6 months (or even 4 months), and others don't get there until 2 years of age (as another poster has mentioned).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried almost everything except letting our kid cry it out, and at nearly 1 year of age, he is still waking up a few times each night.  They're generally minor wake-ups (and my wife, who is co-sleeping with him, can usually quickly soothe him back to sleep), but they do happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did start late on working on a bedtime routine, and monitoring his naptimes during the day and such.  I think this is what has sort of screwed us, and we'll definitely be smarter about that for our next kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, the things that I can say with some confidence have improved his sleeping are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cutting back on night feedings, switch from milk to a bottle of water if he's bottle feeding and absolutely demands a bottle&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Establish a consistent bedtime routine, e.g. dinner, bath, bedtime story, rocking in the glider, then into the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be consistent about his naps during the day, and make sure he get him to nap as soon as he shows signs of tiredness&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage him to put himself back to sleep, i.e. by shushing and soothing him while he is still in the bed, instead of picking him up&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have soothing lullaby music playing at a low volume; only turn this on when it's time to put him to sleep (naps or bedtime)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Darken the room (we used light-blocking curtains), quiet down the rest of the house.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that many parents are advocates of cry-it-out, and have had good success with that, and there seem to be no long-term negative effects of it on their children.  I have also been a parent long enough to not judge other people's parenting.  However, I personally could not bear to hear my child freaking out crying like that, especially at such a young age.  I do understand that as they get older they learn to throw tantrums to manipulate parents, so that's something to take into account at that point.  But to leave a child at 3-6 months of age, screaming/crying by themselves in the dark until they gag, choke, and sometimes vomit... that's just not something I can bring myself to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="181" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T03:19:53.600" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2011-04-11T03:24:51.210" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids that skip grades can have difficulties later in their educational careers fitting in to different social circles. This means they'll drive later than their peers, they'll be 18 after their peers, and they'll eventually turn 21 far after their peers. Additionally, if the student is exceptionally gifted academically, then they may be ostracized worse than they would if they were at the head of their own natural class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of this is guaranteed, but it's what I saw for kids who skipped a grade who were in my class. Every negative I see is purely centered on social issues. No guarantees this would happen, but it's something to think about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was someone with a summer birthday and turned certain ages about 6-9 months after my peers and even that was difficult. 12-15 months could be very difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user447" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T03:24:51.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2011-04-11T03:38:40.110" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you a bit about my experience, and then let you figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, I skipped 8th grade. At the time, I moved into a school district which wasn't that great, and I had been far ahead of my mathematics for a long time (I had finished Algebra in 7th grade, meaning 2 classes worth). So, I skipped a grade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Common wisdom is that the hardest time is age 16, due to the driver's license. For whatever reason, that wasn't that hard for me. I was involved in my church at the time, and I just hung around more of the kids my age, as opposed to my grade. It was a bit weirder when I graduated, 1 month before I turned 17. Oddly enough, the weirdest time was when I was in college. I was far beyond the kids my age level, and it left some interesting circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pros are that the child will tend to be less bored in school, productive in life, and it's always nice to be graduated from college a year earlier than everyone else. The cons are that it can be difficult in some social circumstances, but it's not terrible, usually. It just depends, really. Unfortunately, a child in Kindergarten is probably too young to know what kind of an affect something now will have in so many years, but...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T03:38:40.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="805" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="813" CreationDate="2011-04-11T04:50:53.200" Score="25" ViewCount="1313" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5-year old who has shown some interest in music. We started him with some very basic piano lessons (30 min/week) from an instructor who specializes in teaching children and got him a keyboard (Casio) for Christmas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're having him practice for a short, 10-15 minute stretch every day. And I sit down with him and instruct him what to work on (based on teacher's homework instructions). He has a very good attention span and can handle this without fuss (usually). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister has a niece who started at 10, is 12 now, and is playing Mozart rather impressively.   My sister feels that 5 might be too young, and I've often heard that you shouldn't pressure kids too early with music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;QUESTION: Am I &quot;pressuring&quot; him too much simply by asking him to do this? Is this too young to start with a structured approach to music learning? How do you encourage such a young child to practice without &quot;pressuring&quot;? Can that be done?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not necessarily trying to cultivate a virtuoso -- I would be more than happy if my son &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt; gets as good as my niece is now. I just feel that early exposure to music is good for the mind and the soul. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="114" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:35:45.387" LastActivityDate="2017-07-24T04:52:53.297" Title="How do you determine when to start a child on music lessons without pressuring them?" Tags="|music|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="806" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="812" CreationDate="2011-04-11T06:26:43.457" Score="9" ViewCount="786" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do not yet have children but I am a vegetarian. I am curious to know how vegetarians, and vegans, address the issue of nourishment. If it helps, I am vegetarian more for ethical reasons than health concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Oops, typo. I am vegetarian but I am considering going vegan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="452" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:37:22.390" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T03:06:50.720" Title="How do you ensure proper nutrition for a child in a vegetarian or vegan household?" Tags="|health|food|breastfeeding|eating|feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2011-04-11T07:29:47.933" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was not aware of countries that allow driving lessons &lt;em&gt;exclusively&lt;/em&gt; by the parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do know that both Sweden (&quot;övningskörning&quot;) and Austria (&quot;L17&quot;) allow the parents or legal guardians to provide training in theory and practise from age 17 (in Europe, 18 years is the minimum age for driving). But these trainings are only &lt;strong&gt;preparatory&lt;/strong&gt;; there must still be formal training by professionals in both theory and practise, though less of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had such preparatory training and needed essentially no practical training, but the theoretical side was sorely neglected! I think this parental preparation has good and bad aspects, directly linked to the parents' driving (and teaching) skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Good:&lt;/strong&gt; More preparation means fewer driving lessons means less money spent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bad:&lt;/strong&gt; There are bound to be some bad drivers, or adequate drivers with a few bad habits (aren't we all?), and they would unknowingly pass on bad habits. Just like in any other discipline, the driving instructor must spend time to unteach these bad habits...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, consider that professional driving-school cars have extra mirrors and brake and clutch pedals for the instructor, which private cars don't have - so private training is a matter of safety consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since private cars don't have these extras, you can't easily prevent accidents. Make sure that the car is fully insured (comprehensive cover, rather than partial coverage) and that the maximum cover is very high (Austria rel 10 mio. €!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In summary,&lt;/strong&gt; I would say that some private training is a good and cost-effective beginning (provided there are no accidents) but I would &lt;strong&gt;recommend professional training&lt;/strong&gt; even if it's not necessary, because &lt;strong&gt;we are just users, not professional trainers.&lt;/strong&gt; Do you really know &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; the traffic laws? Those that are valid in 2011?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T07:29:47.933" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="808" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-11T08:02:03.307" Score="6" ViewCount="6328" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5095/help-my-5-year-old-just-wont-poop-on-the-toilet&quot;&gt;Help! My 5 year old just won&amp;#39;t poop on the toilet&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a not quite 4 year old boy who refuses to toilet train. We have tried everything, including &lt;em&gt;you can have this toy when you use the toilet&lt;/em&gt;, candy, asking, asking again etc. Does anyone have any ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is somewhat special needs (still working on exactly what)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="457" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T13:37:53.027" Title="How can I toilet train my reluctant pre-schooler?" Tags="|potty-training|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2012-10-04T14:36:06.947" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="806" CreationDate="2011-04-11T08:32:44.203" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you adequately nourished? Do you take supplements at all to compensate for your dietary choices that result in reduced levels of required nutrients? Do your ethics also extend to taking in supplements that are animal-sourced? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are vegans or vegetarian who eat very well, widely and balanced, there are carnivores who eat badly, so I don't think it's merely a question of what you choose to omit or include on a general level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pregnant mothers often do feel the need to eat strange things and the common interpretation of this is that their body is telling them that something is missing. I have a friend who is similarly ethically vegetarian, yet she ate meat through her two pregnancies as getting various minerals and proteins from meat was the easiest way to do it and her aim of a healthy child was more important to her for those few months than her vegetarianism. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with anything that might impact on your (and your baby's) health, I would suggest regular monitoring before and during the pregnancy - and definitely tell your doctor/midwife/etc. about it, they'll have seen it before. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T08:32:44.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-04-11T09:32:24.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are Americans in Israel, we speak English at home and they get Hebrew at school. This seems to work. My two older kids who have lived in Israel since they were 5 and 6 are fluent in both. My 4 year old mostly speaks English (as much as he speaks anything) but does have a bunch of Hebrew words. We will see where he is in 2 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="457" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T09:32:24.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="791" CreationDate="2011-04-11T09:37:36.307" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm very unsure about this, so this is a tentative answer, and I don't have any research to back it up or anything. Based on nothing but my observations during childhood, I think the first step is to figure out why the child is being teased. And I'm not talking about what he/she is being teased &lt;em&gt;about&lt;/em&gt;, like glasses or pants or hair color, which rarely is the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To a large degree it seems to me that the teasing comes from the child being bad at social interactions and socializing. Some kids do not understand what the other kids wants from them. Usually what they want is that the child joins in and conform. They want other kids to play &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.woosk.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/handegg.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;football&lt;/a&gt;, cheer for a team, listen to a select group of approved &quot;artists de jour&quot; and generally just be just like them. Kids who are uninterested in sport, read science fiction, and listen to some other music doesn't fit into the box.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And unless you can make all the kids in school understand that people are different and shouldn't be put into boxes, every kid will be put into a box that the other kids can understand. In big schools you may have several boxes. US high schools you apparently often have different groups, like jocks and nerds, etc, and people will mostly fit into one of these boxes and socialize there. Although different groups then can clash, that's an altogether different problem from the problem of when one kid doesn't fit into &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; of the boxes, which is the real problem. They will then end up in an outcast/teased/bullied box, and that is not a good place to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that case the kid will have to be taught how to socialize and how to fit into a positive box. Perhaps by pretending to be interested in sports, etc (In fact, most major sports become interesting once you know enough about them, which is good to know). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this doesn't help, you may need to find another school, because it can be hard to get out of a box, if you are in one. Changing schools to a place nobody knows you can help you get out of the box, &lt;em&gt;but only if you understand socializing&lt;/em&gt; or you'll just en up in the &quot;weirdo&quot;-box again. And this goes not just for bullied, but also bullies. In my 3rd year, one of the bullies of my class was moved to another school, because he had gone to special ed classes there, and there he hadn't bullied anyone, he somehow found a non-bullying box to be in, and like it much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T09:37:36.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="806" CreationDate="2011-04-11T10:01:02.707" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children need the same nutrients as adults do, though usually they need more of them.&#xA;If you've been vegetarian for more than a year, and your blood tests are fine, they can eat what you eat, and should be ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of people think that it is difficult to get enough protein or iron without eating animal products, including meat and dairy.&#xA;This is not true. Eating a combination of grains (rice, wheat, oats etc.) and legumes (lentils, chickpeas, beans of any sort etc.) will provide protein, iron and some other minerals (magnesium for instance).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B group vitamins occur naturally in avocadoes, as well as all sorts of nuts. There is a specific issue with B-12, which isn't easy to come by from a plant source. Personally, I take supplements, because I'm lazy. It is also found in almost every songle fortified breakfast cereal, and a host of other things easily available for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of health reasons not to eat animal products, and these are doubly true for children. It's not difficult or complicated, as long as you know what you're doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T10:01:02.707" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="805" CreationDate="2011-04-11T12:41:47.377" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Too early&quot; depends very much on the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife started banging on the family piano when she was five, until her mother finally convinced a teacher to give her lessons (normally the teacher did not give lessons to children under 6).  Since she had an active interest that she expressed without prompting from her parents, I'd say that 5 was not too early for her to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Pressuring&quot; depends also on the child.  So long as you are going at a pace and establishing a disciplined schedule that does not interfere with your son's enjoyment, then it is safe to say you are not pressuring him.  The danger of pressuring a child is that you run the risk of removing their enjoyment.  For them to be successful at music (however you choose to define it), they will have to enjoy playing for their entire lives.  If they start off by dreading lessons, practice, and the pressure that goes with them, then their enjoyment will be stunted, if not altogether destroyed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other component to consider is pace.  Generally speaking, a 5-year-old will learn at a different pace than a 10 year old, largely due to the developmental gap in motor skills.  So long as you are careful to make sure the pace of the lessons and practice don't exceed their capabilities, you should be okay.  If it becomes a struggle to get him to practice every day, consider cutting down on the practice sessions a bit until he's older.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But so long as he enjoys playing, and shows enthusiasm for practice, I wouldn't worry at all that you're going too early, or putting too much pressure on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T12:41:47.377" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="741" CreationDate="2011-04-11T13:11:38.240" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/carseat2011.htm&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; recommends that once children transition from rear-facing seats, they should stay in forward-facing seats with a harness until they exceed the maximum weight or height for that seat.  At that point, they should move on to a booster seat and shoulder belt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the Britax Marathon, this means your child should stay in it until he is either 65 lbs, or the maximum recommended height (couldn't find the height limit on their website).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T13:11:38.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2011-04-11T13:25:04.207" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Ramsey&quot;&gt;Dave Ramsey&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.daveramsey.com/article/top-3-kids-and-money-qa/lifeandmoney_kidsandmoney?atid=davesays&quot;&gt;suggests &lt;em&gt;paying&lt;/em&gt; children for chores&lt;/a&gt; as young as preschool (3-4), but no later than 7 or 8 years.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also important to find age appropriate work for your children, as you will quickly run out of &quot;room cleaning&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T13:25:04.207" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="753" CreationDate="2011-04-11T13:48:16.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used the &quot;boot camp&quot; method with our daughter.  When she started to show interest in the potty and awareness of when she had to use the bathroom (around 18 months) we took a long weekend and spent 3 days focusing on just this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We set piddle pads all around our living room, put all of her favorite toys in a large but confined area (about 15 feet x 15 feet), had 2 training pottys, and camped out there all weekend.  She wore no pants/diaper/pullup at all during the time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Day 1 was a disaster.  Pee and poop everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Day 2 was much better, she began to regularly make it to the potty in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Day 3 most of the hard work was done.  We took her to church in the morning and put a pull up on her, which she soiled, but things went quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's now 26 months old and is pretty well potty trained.  Every once in a while she has an accident, but they're becoming fewer and farer between.  She wears regular underwear except when she sleeps, but even then 60-80% of the time the pullup is dry in the morning.  We just got tired of having to wash her sheets every other day&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="470" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T13:48:16.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2011-04-11T14:08:21.773" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say do not skip the grade. While he may be up to the task of academically, there is a lot that factors into him having a good experience at school.  For example, the higher the grade, the more the children are expected to sit still and listen.  Boys especially have a hard time with this.  Also, he may be big for his age, but is he big for a first grader.  If he skips ahead, he could end up being that kid that always gets picked last for teams at recess.  My son is also a very smart kid who's in the first grade right now. His birthday just misses the cutoff and I thought about pushing to have him start kindergarten a year early. My wife talked me out of it and now I am glad.  Also, if he is that bright, he's eventually going to be ahead anyway.  Just continue to do stuff on the side at home to keep his mind engaged.  Also, when talking to teachers, ask if they &quot;differentiate&quot;.  It's the current buzzword for giving kids different tasks based on their abilities, rather than giving everybody the same work all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T14:08:21.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="800" CreationDate="2011-04-11T14:13:13.233" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't answer what you should tell your child, as that is largely dependent on your beliefs, but can try and give you some pointers on how you could talk to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever it is you belief, we found it helped us to talk to our son (5 at the time) in as simple and direct terms possible, and to not be overly emotional ourselves. Of course you want to be warm, empathic and comforting, and can share (and show) that you're sad, but we tried to stay as level as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also tried to emphasize that it is simply a part of life: everything is born (or made), has a certain lifespan, and then dies (or breaks). We drew parallels to animals, plants, toys, cars etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then we tried to give some thought to the good times we shared, and that we should be thankful for the time we had with the person, and try to hold on to those good memories in our sadness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, we acknowledged that it was not fair (the death was somewhat premature) and that it was ok to be angry about it - but that that wouldn't change the fact that the person was gone and that we shouldn't let that taint our memories of the person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add to this whatever beliefs you hold about life and death that you wish to share (side note: my wife and I belief different things, so we explained this to our son and explained both our beliefs - he decided he liked my wife's better and is sticking with that for now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The above is what we thought of as age appropriate for our son, and I would simplify for younger children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="139" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T14:13:13.233" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2011-04-11T14:16:31.450" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know it is common that we think we can teach our kids to drive better than some school.  I know I feel that way myself. However, studies show that kids who learn from someone other than their parents tend to do better on driving exams. Of course, this could simply be a manifestation of the Dunning-Kruger.  The state where I live has Driver's Ed available in high school, so my children will take that.  But I will also teach them myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a link to one study:  (large pdf warning)&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhtsa.gov/DOT/NHTSA/Communication%20&amp;amp;%20Consumer%20Information/Articles/Associated%20Files/parent-taught_driver_ed.pdf&quot;&gt;http://www.nhtsa.gov/DOT/NHTSA/Communication%20&amp;amp;%20Consumer%20Information/Articles/Associated%20Files/parent-taught_driver_ed.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you go to the NHTSA home page and search for parent-taught there are others as well&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastEditorUserId="388" LastEditDate="2011-04-11T23:59:37.123" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T23:59:37.123" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-04-11T14:23:00.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you are ready to start devoting the time to learning how to be a good parent.  Parenting is a hard job. Hard in both senses of the word.  It is both tiring physically as well as difficult mentally and emotionally.  A lot of people put forth no effort to read or learn anything about being a parent and just do what their parents did, even though most of us have at least some issues (if not whole subscriptions) with the way our parents raised us.  So my advice to you is this: If you want to know if you are ready to be a parent, start reading books on parenting.  Then you will know, or at least have some idea, of whether or not you are up to the task of being a good parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T14:23:00.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2011-04-11T14:27:17.477" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Read to them, and then read to them, and then read to them some more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T14:27:17.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2011-04-11T18:00:41.470" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to reading, flash cards are also  a great way to increase vocabulary. We go through them at dinner time and he picks up on them quickly. The same flash cards can be used first for identifying pictures and then for learning how to spell .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T18:00:41.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2011-04-11T19:05:45.213" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK there is no requirement for a professional to teach your child, however they must sit the test with a professional. I started learning to drive very young, so by the time I was 17 and allowed to drive on the road I had a few lessons with my dad and a couple from a professional to confirm that I was learning the right things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think as long as you are a good teacher and a good driver, you should be able to provide a reasonable start for your children. Definitely get some advanced training though - in the UK we have the Institute of Advanced Motorists - the equivalent will help you get to a position to guide your children correctly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a firm believer in teaching them well before they are allowed on the road - I provided mine a cadet licence for karts at age 8 (the minimum hereabouts) so that they can get the car handling practice embedded before they need to think about learning rules of the road and all the other complications of on-road driving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T19:05:45.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="805" CreationDate="2011-04-11T19:10:25.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely get them to at least try - music is such a valuable talent to encourage! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry too much about pressure. Conversely, any child will go through phases of disliking (or saying they dislike) a particular hobby. It may be that you will have to keep a certain amount of 'pressure' to get them through this. You don't want to overdo it, but it may be that they would regret giving up an instrument later, so give positive encouragement, and help them push themselves through the odd tough time when they just 'don't want to!'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T19:10:25.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="825" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-11T20:26:42.160" Score="14" ViewCount="5022" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had 2 adorable twins in January. Our older daughter is jealous of them and our life has become a nightmare. How can we address her jealousy and improve our situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="474" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:40:02.713" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T13:40:02.713" Title="How do I cope with my toddler's jealousy towards her newborn brother and sister?" Tags="|toddler|twins|siblings|jealousy|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="800" CreationDate="2011-04-11T21:03:46.407" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;To add to @Korneel's answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After starting to understand death's permanence, our daughter became very worried about my wife and I dying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important things we've stressed to her about it is that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nobody gets to choose when they die&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Despite that, we don't plan on dying anytime soon&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even if we did, that they would still be cared for and loved by people close to them, and that there would be people who would continue to look out for them even if we were gone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T21:03:46.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="828" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-11T21:54:22.630" Score="36" ViewCount="12751" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 (almost 9) year-old daughter is playing soccer. She's not bad but she won't practice as hard as she needs to because she has a completely skewed perception of her abilities. She thinks she is really good but she is actually either worst or second-worst on her team. Any advice on talking to her about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I'm not trying to be one of those Dads that push their kids to be the best at everything. &lt;strong&gt;She&lt;/strong&gt; says she wants to be &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mia_Hamm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mia Hamm&lt;/a&gt;. If she said she just wanted to play and have fun, then I would just leave it at that. Also, she gets mad that her teammates won't pass to her and thinks it's because they don't like her, but it's really based on her skill (or lack thereof) and has nothing to do with how much they like her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-22T12:48:29.133" LastActivityDate="2018-03-22T20:39:23.740" Title="How do you tell your child they are terrible at something?" Tags="|sports|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="99" CreationDate="2011-04-11T22:31:36.323" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Biting can also be a symptom of Sensory Processing Disorder.  If you child has persistent biting, I would recommend doing research into this as a possibility, and consult your pediatrician (or get a developmental pediatrician).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;SPD is nothing to be scared of, and most children diagnosed with it will learn to compensate and be fine.  However, there are techniques and products that can help a child to focus and prevent biting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child has SPD, biting is caused by the child becoming overloaded with sensory input in the classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="476" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T22:31:36.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="825" CreationDate="2011-04-11T23:59:03.793" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just speaking from our experiences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One step we took when our 2nd daughter was born, was to buy a present from her for her sister. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it will be a huge time commitment raising twins, but try to make sure that your 2yo gets her one on one time. Additionally if you can get her to help in looking after the twins, simple things like getting toys for them, putting a dummy back in and so on, and having her hold them (with assistance obviously), all are simple ways to make sure she is still getting attention whilst tending to her siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="250" LastActivityDate="2011-04-11T23:59:03.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="828" CreationDate="2011-04-12T03:11:37.237" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;One way to handle it is to not say anything negative about her performance at all. A parent telling a child that they are not good at something can be very hurtful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has passion, then that's a great thing; encourage it and try to find clever ways to get her to practice without making it seem like it's &quot;boring practice&quot;. Have her help coach younger kids, or see if some of the other kids want to play a smaller pick-up game where she's forced to get the ball more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she comes to you complaining about how she doesn't get the ball, you can take a lesson from the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0380811960&quot;&gt;How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;em&gt;accept her emotions&lt;/em&gt;. This means that you don't say things like, &quot;oh, sweatheart, you shouldn't feel down.&quot; This type of response is actually denying them of the way they feel, and saying that they shouldn't have negative emotions. Therefore, they never really learn to cope with their negative emotions. Instead, you should respond by saying something like, &quot;I can see that you're upset. It's not fun when nobody passes the ball to you.&quot; This engages more conversation, makes her feel less defensive, and teaches her to verbalize and work through her negative emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-12T12:44:52.923" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T12:44:52.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-04-12T04:17:49.960" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used cloth diapers because the alternative (unscented, non-chlorinated, not full-of-crap disposables) are quite expensive compared to the Huggies/Pampers alternative. We also feel that she is less likely to get rashes from cloth diapers and we aren't lazy when changing her diapers (you go through more cloth diapers than you would through disposables). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our initial costs were ~$400 (ordered online) for a total of 48 cloth diapers (24 of one size, 24 of another) and 12 diaper covers. However, we used Wool Covers by Aristocrats which are about $35 a piece - $35*6 = $210. (We didn't like the velcro on the bummi covers, the wool covers are much more snuggly...and you never have leaks...) So around $600 of initial costs. The diapers are in good condition so we plan to use it with the second baby as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the beginning, we did a full load everyday. After about 6 months, it was a load every 1.5-2 days. At 8 months it was around 2.5 days. We use disposables when we're out with her. We are also trying EC with her, so she uses less diapers and usually wakes up with a dry diaper. We don't use any liners. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say that if you're planning to have multiple children, cloth diapers make sense - you can reuse them for quite some time (and even buy them reused). If you're planning to send your child to daycare after a few months, cloth might not make sense since you won't get to use them for too long...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2011-04-19T17:24:55.550" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T17:24:55.550" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="808" CreationDate="2011-04-12T05:51:11.620" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some things that worked with my son who started toilet training around 2.5 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Peer pressure. He goes to child care 4 days a week and his older friends were already trained. He saw using nappies as being a baby thing. We didn't need to do anything there, his peer group meant he wanted to change himself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Character underwear. If you provide him with underwear of his favourite character like Buzz Lightyear or Spiderman this will be an incentive not to get them wet or dirty because they enjoy wearing their favourite underwear.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get him into a routine. If toilet time is before dinner then stick to the routine e.g &quot;It's dinner time please go to the toilet and then was your hands&quot; or &quot;It's bed time, please go to the toilet then I'll read you a story&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You may be going about this the wrong way. The battle maybe should be to get him to wear underwear and not about getting him to go to the toilet. Getting him to go to the toilet may be easier if the consequence is wetting himself if he doesn't have a nappy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be patient. Especially using the above approach. After switching to underwear there are definitely going to be accidents, but these will get less over time. We were going from 8 changes of underpants a day down to 4 pairs and then eventually once or twice to none.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T05:51:11.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="828" CreationDate="2011-04-12T06:11:49.537" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would explain that different skills require certain amount of practice and if she wants to see more action on the field she will need to put in more time to increase her skill level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't say it like: 'If you try harder people will pass you the ball'. As this is negative and largely not true. Soccer is about trust and other team members expect that you have the ability (skill) to proceed once the ball has been passed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain how her hero Mia Hamm would have practiced daily to build her skill and trust within the team. Just like studying math, soccer requires certain skill and some people have a better base skill than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can make it fun by spending some time with her kicking the ball around in your back yard or local park doing some simple drills. If you don't know these then ask her coach for appropriate exercises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once children reach about 12 years of age those kids with good base skills will start to drop off against those that have a better understanding of the game and have developed their skills over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also read some articles online about soccer theory and discuss with your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make this about her development as a player and her future as a proficient soccer player, rather than about her trying to fit in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T06:11:49.537" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-04-12T06:28:00.230" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in Australia. My wife came to Australia 12 years ago from China. I can speak fluent Chinese.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old son goes to childcare 4 days a week and my parents look after him 1 day a week. So Monday to Friday during the day he speaks English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is how we help him to learn:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be consistent:&lt;/strong&gt; He already spends plenty of time speaking English at school so we constantly speak to him in Chinese at home. He then knows the distinction of when he should speak English and when to speak Chinese.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Friends:&lt;/strong&gt; We have a network of friends who speak Chinese and they and their children speak Chinese to my son. Having this community allows my son to use his language socially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Family:&lt;/strong&gt; Help your child to communicate with family members in other countries. You can do this by using Skype where both of you can talk to family overseas at the same time. They don't have the stress of holding the telephone and having to speak by themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Books and DVDs:&lt;/strong&gt; My son likes certain TV series. We make an effort to get the Chinese equivalent when we travel to China. TV series like Thomas the Tank Engine or In the Night Garden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be cultural specific:&lt;/strong&gt; Provide them with something they can identify with from that culture. It can be a particular food, TV show or activity that is only specific to that culture that they enjoy. This helps them to have an attachment. My son likes a particular Chinese food that only Chinese people eat so it doesn't have an English name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One important thing I've found was teaching him to be able to say in either language 'How do you say this in English' or 'How do you say this in Chinese'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T06:28:00.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-04-12T07:07:33.427" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, there is a formal process which attempts to answer this question objectively. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you wish to adopt (and especially if you don't yet have any children) your adoption social worker will spend about six months with you and will try to measure how ready you are to take the leap into parenthood. This list might prove useful even to those planning their own children naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He or she will explore:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The strength and duration of your relationship (assuming you are a couple) and whether or not you can show that you have survived tough times and worked together to overcome setbacks&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To what extent there are children in your life already, friends' children, nieces, nephews, and whether you already willingly spend time with those children&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How good your support network is, friends, family etc. You are going to need that support network!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you both work, er, what you plan to do about that, when junior appears&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your house or flat is suitable for children&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your health (and age) - you should be able to show that there's a good prospect you will not be too ill or too dead to parent them through 18 years&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They will ask what your experiences of being parented were, and what you might plan to do the same as your parents, and what you might do differently&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They will ask at least two of your friends (confidentially, and without you present) how ready &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; think you are &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this is quite a demanding list, but rightly so! Parenting is a hard old thing to do. Also, you are not expected to demonstrate you can satisfy every requirement to the absolute maximum, but it's a good set of questions to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are other issues he or she will explore with you concerning adoption itself which I haven't listed, because they're not relevant to this question. Also, the process may vary in other countries. This is based on the UK adoption process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T07:07:33.427" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="805" CreationDate="2011-04-12T08:05:22.260" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we wanted our child to take lessons, we took some time for preparation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was about 3 and a half years old, we told him that he cannot start learning an instrument before the age of 4. Of course it didn't matter at first. But After telling it over and over (carefully dosed, of course) it became one of the best things about his 4th birthday. He could finally start learning how to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then we arranged lessons (30 min/once a week) starting in the week after his birthday. Since then we practice every day for at most 10 minutes at home. (Same time every day without discussion.) Telling him that he does it for his mother. (Which is absolutely appropriate for a child in that age.) And after having done a great lesson. We celebrate him by cheering and applauding shortly. So he feels good about and looks forward to the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="121" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T08:05:22.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="537" CreationDate="2011-04-12T13:02:08.450" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gabrielweinberg.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Gabriel Weinberg&lt;/a&gt;, has some good guidelines &amp;amp; app recommendations in his very detailed '&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gabrielweinberg.com/blog/2011/04/toddler-app-user-interface-guidelines.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Toddler app user interface guidelines&lt;/a&gt;' aticle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Briefly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Load the app as fast possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Move all settings out of the app.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;No pop-ups/notifications.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Change it up/give surprises.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Give multiple ways to do things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Give hints.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Add delays.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Give instructions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Update the app.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Highlight words and letters as you say them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T13:02:08.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="839" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="840" CreationDate="2011-04-12T13:54:06.700" Score="5" ViewCount="32893" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3-month old son has bad diaper rash.  We're putting a lot of the cream on each time we change his diaper.  How long will it take before this goes away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="161" LastActivityDate="2020-05-03T15:32:48.590" Title="Diaper rash: if properly treated how long will it last?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="839" CreationDate="2011-04-12T14:04:26.517" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it doesn't look to be getting better after 3 days, you should contact your pediatrician.  Also contact your pediatrician if there are pus-filled blisters, if the rash is in the folds of skin around the legs, or if the rash is bleeding.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diaper rash is typically caused by irritation from the moisture from the baby's waste, but it can also be caused by allergic reactions to perfumes or other chemicals in the diapers, wipes, or lotions you use.  A yeast infection of the skin can also result in diaper rash, in which case the pediatrician will need to prescribe a remedy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For regular diaper rash, treatment with a moisture blocking cream will usually clear up the rash within a day or two.  In severe cases, you might want to consider letting the diaper area air dry for about 15 minutes before putting a fresh diaper on (put the baby on a mat or towel you don't mind getting soiled!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T14:04:26.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="828" CreationDate="2011-04-12T15:43:37.733" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my kids run into situations like this, I usually try to emphasize two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For most people, (probably including the others on her team) being given the ball is thought of more as a reward for hard work than necessarily giving the ball to the best player.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Being passed the ball doesn't depend as much on her &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; skill level as on how her teammates &lt;em&gt;perceive&lt;/em&gt; her skill level. No matter how good she is, she has to spend time practicing with them before they'll realize/understand her skill.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least in my experience, both of these are entirely true&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;, so it's not like you're lying to her or anything like that. You're just emphasizing some parts of the truth a bit (or a lot) more than some others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; Not just in soccer either -- in life in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="485" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T15:43:37.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="843" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-12T19:48:33.020" Score="4" ViewCount="149" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are thinking about getting a pet, so my daughter (now 3 months old) can learn about animals growing up.  What factors should influence the pet we choose?  Is there anyway to tell if the child and the pet are compatible? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:41:09.810" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T13:41:09.810" Title="How do you choose a pet for a household with children?" Tags="|pets|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="844" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="848" CreationDate="2011-04-12T19:58:33.110" Score="7" ViewCount="210" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know that some kids are relatively self-motivated; I want to be supportive without smothering such a child. I know that some kids have very little motivation; I want to be able to encourage such a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How will I know that I'm being too attentive, or not attentive enough?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="452" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T20:48:56.250" Title="How closely should a parent be tied to their child's education?" Tags="|education|independence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="845" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="859" CreationDate="2011-04-12T20:04:57.020" Score="8" ViewCount="517" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 7 months old, and we have an infant car seat that detaches from the base for easy transport, that also docks into the stroller.  We use the car seat to carry him from the car to just about anywhere (although he's starting to get big enough that we sometimes leave the car seat in the car now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've never covered him while he's been in the car seat, aside from using the attached hood to protect him from rain/snow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I've seen a lot of parents carrying their infants in similar seats, but with a blanket draped over the top to completely hide their child from sight.  At first I thought that it was for parents who were transporting their infants early (we were told to keep our son at home for the first 2-4 weeks after we got home from the hospital, to avoid early sickness), and who were concerned about their baby getting sick.  However, it seems way too common for that, and we've seen this done with children 6 months and older.  We see it at restaurants, at the pool, at the pediatricians, and even from parents dropping off their child at daycare.  In fact, this seems to be so common that we seem to be in the tiny minority by not covering him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a specific reason to cover an infant like that when traveling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-08-10T17:20:52.200" Title="What is the reason for covering infants during transport?" Tags="|infant|car-seat|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="845" CreationDate="2011-04-12T20:24:53.650" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only reason I ever covered my children during transport was to keep them warm and keep the weather off them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T20:24:53.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="845" CreationDate="2011-04-12T20:30:23.477" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably paranoia.  Other possiblity is that the baby is asleep and they are using the cover as a noise and light barrier.  Personally, my wife and I never used covered the carrier for any reason other than weather, like you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastEditorUserId="388" LastEditDate="2011-04-12T21:10:06.580" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T21:10:06.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="844" CreationDate="2011-04-12T20:41:31.267" Score="6" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Experiment.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every child is different in this regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids need their hands held when they are young (though they should grow out of it as they get older, unless there's a problem afoot).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child, I actually performed &lt;em&gt;worse&lt;/em&gt; when I had homework &quot;help&quot; -- intellectual boredom from work that was far too easy for me plus motor and RSI issues that impeded writing made doing it alone a lot smoother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 8yo son is kind of a middle ground.  He has a work table in my office, and we do our work together -- meaning that I sit at the computer and do my own thing until he asks a question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Have the right attitude.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever your child's learning style and approach to homework, the most important thing is having and teaching the right attitudes to your child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;be aware of what is going on at all times so that you can help your child react to problems while they are still small and manageable&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;let your child know that his/her education is a high priority for you, so it will be for him/her&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;instead of taking a &quot;perform or punish&quot; stance, teach your child that everyone has trouble sometimes, and look for solutions as a team&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if you find your child is having a pattern of school trouble, educate yourself on the possible causes and solutions -- don't count on overworked, underpaid school staff to suss it out&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-04-12T20:48:56.250" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T20:48:56.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="849" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="843" CreationDate="2011-04-12T21:10:21.803" Score="6" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is your lifestyle like and how will your pet fit into it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some pets require lots of daily exercise and attention, others are more low-maintenance.  Some are cuddly, some want to do their own thing.  Some require training, others don't.  Some pets are great companions on outings, others are better left at home.  The biggest factor in finding the right pet for your family is how that pet will fit into your lives.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How long can you commit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some pets are good for a few years or less.  Others will be with your child long after you are gone.  Choose a pet with a natural lifespan you are certain you can commit to.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How much space do you have to dedicate to your pet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Too often, people buy cute baby dobermans, iguanas, etc. without thinking about how big their new pet will grow up to be.  Before you choose a pet, think about what you really have room for.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is your experience level with various types of pets?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting a hyper puppy or a traumatized rescue dog to behave properly around an infant takes work and skill.  An easygoing adult dog will be easier to adapt to living with a baby in the house.  Cat litter, iguana nails, etc. can pose health risks for infants if not handled correctly.  Choose a pet that you know or will learn how to handle properly so that your child will have the best possible experience.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-12T21:10:21.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="850" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-13T00:00:58.147" Score="19" ViewCount="79908" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although I am not a parent, I am interning in social work.  I am currently working with a student in an elementary school who does not speak. The parents have explained that she does speak at home (I also witnessed her speaking to her mother outside of the school), but she has not said a word since she began school in August.  I work with her individually and in a group, and she still refrains from speaking in both settings.  We wonder if the cause is anxiety because she's not speaking at school but she is at home.  Have any of you experienced something similar with your children? What can we do as school staff to create an environment that is more comfortable/less anxiety-inducing for her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="490" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-19T01:34:55.187" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T00:28:48.877" Title="How can I help a child who won't talk to anybody at school? Selective mutism" Tags="|school|communication|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="800" CreationDate="2011-04-13T00:06:57.060" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;These conversations can be tough! Here are a few books on the subject:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death&lt;/em&gt; (Dino Life Guides for Families) by&#xA;Laurie Krasny Brown &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;What Happens When Someone Dies?: A Child's Guide to Death and Funerals&lt;/em&gt; (Elf-Help Books for Kids) by Michaelene Mundy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children&lt;/em&gt; by Doris Stickney&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="490" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-13T04:51:26.203" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T04:51:26.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="828" CreationDate="2011-04-13T00:27:45.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on the research I've read about from sources like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Greater Good Science Center&lt;/a&gt;, I would emphasize how proud you are of her when she practices and works hard, and how little it matters to you how her skill level compares to the skill level of others--at least in terms of your approval. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she wants to be Mia Hamm, you might point out that Mia Hamm practiced every day of her life for decades and was never satisfied with how good she already was. See if you can take her to a college or professional soccer practice so she can see how hard the women at the top of the game work to get just a little bit better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask her if she is totally satisfied with every aspect of her game... does she think she could improve her corner kicks? Can she, for example, put the ball &lt;em&gt;in&lt;/em&gt; the net from the corner? Because Mia Hamm &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; (probably still can). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long can she juggle the ball? Does she think she could learn to juggle the ball for a little longer if she tries?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specific goals and particular things to work on might help her focus, not on what her team thinks of her skill level or what you think of her skill level, but on what she thinks she can learn to do that she can't do right now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T00:27:45.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="853" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="855" CreationDate="2011-04-13T04:08:02.997" Score="11" ViewCount="1789" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old is very mature for his age. He has an amazing vocabulary and a great attention span. He is very interested in watching the evening news, but often times the news is filled with stories of murder and tragedy. We don't have a problem talking to him about these topics if necessary, but I'm concerned about letting him be exposed too much. What is a good way to handle this situation?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="59" LastEditDate="2011-04-21T09:23:54.037" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T23:42:33.513" Title="Should I let my 5 year old watch the news?" Tags="|television|age-appropriate|media|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2011-04-13T04:40:15.463" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5yo son has done this in many new environments, including the first preschool we put him in. In his preschool, he did not talk to any students or teachers for about 4 months. It was particularly bad because he was potty trained, but he wouldn't tell anybody he had to go to the bathroom, so he was regularly having accidents at school. Then, all of the sudden, one day he decided that he would start talking to everyone, teachers and students alike. When I went to pick him up from school the teachers were in shock because they had never heard a word out of him, then all the sudden they realized that he was actually quite an eloquent speaker for his age. I even heard another student telling her mom, &quot;Mommy, guess what? He just learned how to talk today?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to mostly be a control thing for him. He is almost always shy to talk to new people, but has even gone through phases where he stopped talking to people he knew very well. For example, he went a few months without talking to my dad and my brother. Later on he said it was because they were tickling him once and they didn't stop when he asked them to. Another example is the fact that he knew how to talk before 1.5 years old, because he would say words here and there, but he generally would just grunt at everything until about 2.5  years old. Then, all of the sudden he decided to talk in complete sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is also very slow to try anything new in an unrecognized setting. For example, the first time we went to the beach when he was about 9-10 months old, he wouldn't crawl off of the beach blanket and touch the sand. He slowly started touching it with his toes, then reaching out with his hand, and after about 5 hours, when we were about to leave, he finally built up enough courage to start playing in the sand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids are generally shy or feel like they are in control when they aren't talking. I'm no expert in the area, but in our case, we just never make a big deal out of it.  If he doesn't want to talk or doesn't want to try something new, we just say &quot;OK, that's fine&quot; and let it go. Sometimes he'll change his mind and decide to talk or participate, and sometimes he won't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think in general, the more comfortable you can make the situation for your student, the more receptive she'll be to opening up and talking. But I don't think you want to do anything that will bring direct group attention to her until she invites it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's old enough to write, see if she'll write things down. Or perhaps, see if you can work out sign language signs with her at least for basic communication, like &quot;I have to go to the bathroom&quot;, and &quot;I'm thirsty&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-13T17:23:54.103" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T17:23:54.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="853" CreationDate="2011-04-13T04:57:53.667" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree you want to be careful on how much tragedy you expose a 5 year old to, especially considering that the amount of coverage tragedies get on televised news programs far outweighs their frequency of occurrence in reality. You don't want your child to think that every hour there are murders, rapes, and other horrors happening in his neighborhood, nor do you want him to feel fearful of his own safety in his environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I presume your 5 year old is interested in watching the evening news because he sees you do it, and I wager that if you shifted your interest his interests would follow. Maybe the next time the news is on you can get up from the couch and say something like, &quot;I think I'd rather go outside and kick the soccer ball around,&quot; or whatever, and he'll probably get up and follow you out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is not the case and your child is genuinely drawn to news programs, I'd suggest picking and choosing what news shows he watches. While the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/newshour/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;PBS News Hour&lt;/a&gt; certainly covers world tragedies, including wars, they don't focus on local matters or the type of &quot;if it bleeds it leads&quot; stories that are all to common on local news programs and, to an extent, national nightly news shows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T23:42:33.513" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T23:42:33.513" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="799" CreationDate="2011-04-13T07:03:38.850" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;TL;DR - exclusive breastfeeding: 6 months, partial breast-feeding: 12 months or longer&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, since you asked about research papers, here they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15384567&quot;&gt;The optimal duration of exclusive breastfeeding: a systematic review. (abstract)&lt;/a&gt; (2004)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Based on the results of this review, the World Health Assembly adopted a resolution to &lt;strong&gt;recommend exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months&lt;/strong&gt; to its member countries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did not find a study that explicitly aims to establish when to stop breast feeding completely. However there is a number of articles that research connection between length of breast feeding and various development and health parameters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of the ones I found relevant clearly show that it is beneficial to partly breast-feed a child at least up to 12 months. Sources, links and summaries are below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1718901/pdf/v085p00183.pdf&quot;&gt;Breast feeding and cognitive development at age 1 and 5 years [PDF]&lt;/a&gt; (2001): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children breast fed for less than&#xA;  3 months had an increased risk, compared&#xA;  to children breast fed for at least 6&#xA;  months, of a test score below the median&#xA;  value of MDI at 13 months and of&#xA;  WPPSI-R &lt;em&gt;(Wechsler&#xA;  Preschool and Primary Scales of Intelligence)&lt;/em&gt; at 5 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://aje.oxfordjournals.org/content/162/5/397.full&quot;&gt;Duration of Breastfeeding and Risk of Overweight: A Meta-Analysis&lt;/a&gt; (Sep. 2005)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;the duration of breastfeeding was inversely associated with the risk of overweight (regression coefficient = 0.94, 95% confidence interval (CI): 0.89, 0.98)&lt;/strong&gt;. Categorical analysis confirmed this dose-response association (&amp;lt;1 month of breastfeeding: odds ratio (OR) = 1.0, 95% CI: 0.65, 1.55; 1–3 months: OR = 0.81, 95% CI: 0.74, 0.88; 4–6 months: OR = 0.76, 95% CI: 0.67, 0.86; 7–9 months: OR = 0.67, 95% CI: 0.55, 0.82; &gt;9 months: OR = 0.68, 95% CI: 0.50, 0.91). One month of breastfeeding was associated with a 4% decrease in risk (OR = 0.96/month of breastfeeding, 95% CI: 0.94, 0.98).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC28161/&quot;&gt;Breast feeding and obesity: cross sectional study&lt;/a&gt; (1999)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A clear dose-response effect was identified for the duration of breast feeding on the prevalence of obesity: the prevalence was 3.8% for 2 months of exclusive breast feeding, 2.3% for 3-5 months, 1.7% for 6-12 months, and 0.8% for more than 12 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastEditorUserId="127" LastEditDate="2011-04-13T12:43:29.267" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T12:43:29.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="853" CreationDate="2011-04-13T08:47:11.553" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK there is a programme on the BBC called &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/default.stm&quot;&gt;Newsround&lt;/a&gt;, it has been going for decades, which is news specifically aimed and edited for children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it can be a little too focused on human interest stories and cuddly animals, it does also try to offer a simplified version of the news. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would be a great sort of introduction - not just the subject matter, but the phrasing and words used to describe the issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T08:47:11.553" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="845" CreationDate="2011-04-13T12:01:57.013" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;We fully covered our baby only as protection against foul weather when outside, and against light and noise when inside (restaurant etc). And also to help him sleep or fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, I see no reason to &lt;em&gt;fully&lt;/em&gt; cover a baby. Covering him &lt;em&gt;partially&lt;/em&gt; makes sense of course, to keep him warm without denying him a view of where he is and what's going on around him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T12:01:57.013" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="799" CreationDate="2011-04-13T12:55:51.360" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You cannot compare other mammals to humans. Each mammal species has their own diet, which directly influences the nutrients in the mother's milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because humans have such a diverse diet within our species (some of us being vegans, vegetarians, etc), you cannot compare the human species (as a whole) to other mammals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the mother follows a healthy diet, she can breastfeed the baby for up to four months exclusively. To gauge if the baby is getting enough nutrients, you'll have to keep stats on the number of dirty diapers. If the number goes down, the baby is not getting enough nutrients and it might be time to introduce solid foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long the mother breastfeeds for depends on the benefits the child gain from it, which in turn depends on the health of the mother and child. For example, breastfeeding can greatly reduce the risk of obesity in children 39 to 42 months (from ‘trusty’ ol’ Wikipedia &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breastfeeding&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breastfeeding&lt;/a&gt;).  It also reduces the risk of coronary heart disease by as much as 23% if the baby is breastfed for at least 24 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="493" LastEditorUserId="493" LastEditDate="2011-04-13T13:15:07.437" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T13:15:07.437" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="825" CreationDate="2011-04-13T15:59:38.130" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually involved my Daughter in with helping me and my son when he was born. She was always wanting to the &quot;Big Helper&quot;. It worked for quite a while until he started to walk and she could not get away from him. After that is was teaching them to play well together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T15:59:38.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2011-04-13T16:19:24.727" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are right, the lack of speech in different social environments is due to anxiety. The high level of anxiety that a selectively mute child experiences causes them to be silent in many situations. It is best for the child to have a professional diagnosis of selective mutism and then see if there are any experienced professionals (in dealing with selective mutism) that can meet with members of the school to discuss methods to help ease the anxiety at school. That will be the first step in helping the child speak at school. It is a long process though, don't expect results right away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user498" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T16:19:24.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2011-04-13T16:43:11.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid we are talking about may be just noticing the environment around her..... coming from home with (normally) none or one/two siblings and all the attention in the world from the parents. (I am not saying you guys don't pay attention at school, but school environment kind-of is for everybody.) This happens when any person goes to a new environment.... even adults are mostly shy initially at a new job, or at a party where they don't know many people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think from the child's perspective. Apart from some play-dates or family get-togethers, the child has not witnessed much social contact. And this is the first time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you stay on with your good work, and like in the previous answer to this question, get her with you on certain things....like when you want to have some water, signal/suggest it to her too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user499" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T16:43:11.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="85" CreationDate="2011-04-13T18:37:57.940" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did a similar thing as Rhea...although we made it personal and had my son grab my finger and pull himself up.  It took awhile but he got a good grip and after some time learned to pull himself up.  Sometimes I'd make mock exercise grunts just to get a reaction out of him, it worked and before he was 1 year old he was pulling himself up on anything he could.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T18:37:57.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="158" CreationDate="2011-04-13T18:47:08.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We tried the sauces and things but they got over the bad taste or wiped them off.  Bandages and mittens worked.  I think at one point we had a bandage under a mitten, since we knew the mitten would get taken off at some point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2015-09-29T18:18:06.943" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T18:18:06.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="853" CreationDate="2011-04-13T21:05:17.763" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was growing up, (I'm a baby boomer), I can still remember Dan Rather covering the Viet Nam war while my family and I watched from the dinner table. He was taking gun fire and I was riveted to the TV. This was during a time when there were only 3 network stations, no cable tv, no video games, cell phones, internet etc. This was pretty explicit coverage for the time. I can still remember how it made an impact on me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is that, we didn't see alot of the stuff that children are seeing today.  There is alot more coverage of tragedy in the world in my estimation because there is alot more &quot;coverage&quot; i.e. infinitely more media outlets and channels for which it can be delivered &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, I'm going to make my point &lt;strong&gt;promise&lt;/strong&gt;. Because of this your child is much more sophisticated than I was, or even you were at his age at filtering all of the information that is coming in. Watching the news with parental or adult supervision can only improve his maturity and understanding of the world we live in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user504" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T21:05:17.763" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="853" CreationDate="2011-04-13T22:15:54.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;To be somewhat generic, I think that it really depends on what is covered in your area and how keen a person is to address the topics that are covered. Your approach seems good to me. The only thing that I might add is regular discussion of the topics, even when it doesn't seem necessary... just to get an idea of what he is processing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know children who while intelligent, won't talk much about recent happenings without being prompted. I've found that initiating discussion can redirect the &lt;em&gt;&quot;secrecy&quot; - for lack of a better word&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="452" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T22:15:54.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="633" CreationDate="2011-04-13T22:58:09.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You definitely can't go wrong with a balance bike.  They put the learning in the hands (and feet) of the child.  After a long struggle trying to teach my older daughter how to ride a bike that lasted 3 years, we went with a balance bike for my younger daughter.  She is nearly 4 and ready to ride a pedal bike but she loves the freedom of her Kinderbike so much, we haven't pushed her to make the transition.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's an absolute daredevil on it, riding off road, down steep hills and for some reason she really likes trying to ride the curbs.  This has resulted in a few spills but  the bikes are low to the ground and lightweight so even a fall is no big deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I love and believe in this method so much that we built an online store specializing in the bikes.  There is no doubt this is the best way to teach a young child to ride a bike.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have an older child still trying to learn, you can remove the pedals and lower the seat to allow them to gain confidence balancing first.  Find a gradual hill and let them coast down it.  Once they get the balance down, put the pedals back on and watch them go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user506" LastActivityDate="2011-04-13T22:58:09.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-04-14T02:11:43.750" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;An important consideration to make is WHY you are showing a movie.  At that young age, most of what you do with the child should be intentional.  If you think it has a message that you want to convey to your child, or if it is a subject that your child enjoys (and is age-appropriate), then by all means.  However, if it's for your own pleasure or because &quot;it's universally rated, so why not?&quot;, I would re-consider.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Announces-New-Recommendations-for-Childrens-Media-Use.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Association of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; recommends zero TV time for kids under 18 months, and only up to 1 hour a day (of high-quality) TV up to age 5.  Again, the point to be made is intentionality:  What is the purpose of you showing this to your child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="507" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-10T13:55:01.957" LastActivityDate="2018-07-10T13:55:01.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-04-14T10:12:39.530" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use the rating as a general guide, but sit with your child through the film and if there are scary bits let them cuddle into you for reassurance. At that age you should be the safest thing in their world, and showing you enjoy a film can help them enjoy without being scared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A large part of making the decision will also come down to how mature your child is in separating fact from fiction. 2 of my children loved being scared, but for some reason the third was much more sensitive (i. e. she is so scared by &lt;em&gt;Doctor Who&lt;/em&gt; she just won't watch it, whereas the other two at the same age would watch from behind a cushion, enjoying the scary bits).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interesting cross-over to the '&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/853/316&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;should I let my 5 year old watch the news&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;' question - my two eldest find the news much scarier than films, as they know it is real, whereas my youngest doesn't find the news scary at all. I have a feeling she doesn't connect with the reality in the news so films are obviously more exciting/scary for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-10T14:00:03.317" LastActivityDate="2018-07-10T14:00:03.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="799" CreationDate="2011-04-14T13:55:30.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants are given a natural immune boost at birth, 6 months when they begin exploring their world and then again at 12 months.  It is recommended that a child breast feed exclusively for the first 6 months, but some start more solid food as early as 4 months.  My goal was to breast feed for one year and my first child weaned himself within days of his first birthday.  I have heard many parents use the argument of continuing to nurse through the toddler years (age1-3) to help with the child's frustration.  I have seen that work for some children, and I have also seen it hinder some childrens development of other coping strategies.  Some children that are breastfed longer tend to not get sick as often, or when they do it sees to be less severe.  In terms of physical benefit-one year seems to be the final time where they get what they NEED.  The best method of determining when a child no longer needs to be breastfed is by following the child's natural lead and finding out what works for the family, child included.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2011-04-14T13:55:30.140" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="879" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-14T19:36:31.577" Score="28" ViewCount="3724" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're traveling from SF to Paris (direct) with our 20-month old soon.  What are tips for surviving the flight and not having everyone hate us?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-14T10:52:57.253" LastActivityDate="2017-06-14T06:32:11.780" Title="What are some tips for making an international flight with a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|travel|flying|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2011-04-14T19:42:32.587" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bring lots of toys for your child to play with, books, activities. If you can food. &#xA;Basically just keep your child busy and entertained the entire flight. Also with that long of a flight you will have to be prepared to find a way for him to nap, if you can get a darker area of the plane that would be good for that. Also movies on a laptop tends to help as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastActivityDate="2011-04-14T19:42:32.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2011-04-14T20:50:50.827" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to @Squidly's answer, we found that it helped to let our son do what he wanted (within reason) and let him climb up the chair and crawl around. People generally didn't seem to mind and he was happy. Had we tried to &quot;make him behave&quot; (by which I mean, keep him in his chair) the flight would have been much, much worse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, book an overnight flight there and an evening flight back so he'll have had a whole day to tire himself out before boarding the plane. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="139" LastActivityDate="2011-04-14T20:50:50.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="825" CreationDate="2011-04-14T21:26:44.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's important that you make time for the older child so they don't feel neglected. Do something that just involves her. With my older daughter, I'll take her to the store with me or out for a walk. Just the two of us. While my wife takes my other daughter (2 month old) or vise-versa. It has really helped with the jealousy for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="517" LastActivityDate="2011-04-14T21:26:44.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="883" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="886" CreationDate="2011-04-14T21:48:52.103" Score="7" ViewCount="203" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking for all types of advice from whether to bring a stroller, how to eat out, manage jetlag, travel within the city -- in this case Paris, but I'm sure some of the ideas would apply to other places as well.  Please share any tips and recommendations!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:43:51.210" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T13:43:51.210" Title="How should I plan for an international urban vacation with a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|travel|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="883" CreationDate="2011-04-14T21:59:23.590" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things aren't that different. We brought a small $30 umbrella stroller that would get stowed at boarding time and would wait at the gate when we got off - because they're light and foldable they're great if you plan to take public transport and they stow away easily when eating out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jetleg was pretty much unmanageable... That said, getting him to fall asleep there was easier than preventing him from waking up back home (when you get back, he will wake up in the middle of the night and not go back to bed), but over the course of a few days our son had taken to the new rhythm. We just tried to adjust bedtime somewhat gradually (we were at a six rather than a nine hour time difference - yours may be more challenging).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;City travel, eating out, museums, shopping etc was no different than it was in NYC.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should you be so lucky to have family there, see if they'll take him a bit here and there so you can enjoy the city without child for a bit as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="139" LastActivityDate="2011-04-14T21:59:23.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="883" CreationDate="2011-04-14T22:21:50.470" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely bring a kangaroo backpack (to carry your kid on your back). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paris has hardly any lifts on the subways (if you are planning on using their great public transport), and when I was there with my son it was always painful to go up and down the stairs with the stroller. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check on the restaurants before you go in if they are ok with feeding your own food to the baby (how old?). I had some difficulties in one place because they would not allow me to give yoghurt to my son (even though there were 4 adults, and 2 other children eating there).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7" LastActivityDate="2011-04-14T22:21:50.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="883" CreationDate="2011-04-14T23:05:57.640" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have taken our child under 4 years three times to China and it all went quite smoothly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Entertainment:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Australia we have shops called $2 shops which sells lots of cheap things. I just bought a few different cheap toys from there and brought them in a bag. This included some craft type things like coloured pipe cleaners. It's an 11 hour trip from Sydney so we had to keep him occupied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last time we went I bought a small box of Lego which he played with for several hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sleep and jetlag:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also our return trip from China is always overnight. This has implications. My son sleeps all the way back, but because he needs to stretch out I barely get any sleep. The other thing is, toddlers and babies seem to cope a lot better with jet lag. Considering they sleep at least twice a day, they just sleep when they are tired and my son just sleeps a couple of extra hours on the first day and then he's ready to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Travelling:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a light-weight stroller, don't take something bulky like a pram. The second time we went my son was uncomfortable with the idea of walking around the strange city by himself, so we were lucky we packed his stroller. Strollers don't block people walking in a restaurant either, so you can just collapse it and leave it under the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Familiarity:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring a toy that your child is familiar with and attached to. Whether it is a stuffed toy or a blankie. I suggest it is something that they sleep with regularly, even if it is there slippers. My son has a plush panda that he carries everywhere and this panda has been to China three times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Food:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adults like to try exotic foods, but children only like to try them in small doses. Keeping your child full will help them feel more comfortable and likely reduce tantrums. Find something simple that your child likes that you can find anywhere. My son likes fried eggs, tomatoes and rice. So if we are looking for a quick meal when we are out we ask before sitting down if they can cook an egg and some rice for my son, even if that's not what we eventually order. It means if there is nothing else at least he has something to eat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also my son likes a type of biscuit you can only get in China. This means he has something he enjoys snacking on in our bag at all times. If you want to do some shopping or you are in an art gallery and he is bored, just give him a biscuit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-14T23:05:57.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2011-04-14T23:17:16.370" Score="16" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Buy a bunch of cheaps toy that the child has never played with.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bring something like a travel etch-a-sketch or some craft things that can be played repeatedly&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ensure he has his midday nap, this usually knocks 2 - 3 hours off.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try and find other young children on the plane that they can talk to. This works like a miracle.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Portable DVD player if there is no in-flight entertainment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Plenty of snacks. We bring instant noodles as this is not junk food and takes my son at long time to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Regular (once every 30 minutes) take them for a walk. This is limited in where you can go, but it helps a lot I found. You can take them to bathroom once an hour and every half an hour just take them for a loop either forward or backward through the kitchenette. The flight staff don't mind as long as you are not going into a different class section of the plane.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-14T23:17:16.370" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2011-04-15T02:00:43.910" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We travel with low expectations, and everything seems to go better than expected. Make them run around the airport a lot before getting on the plane. People don't mind b/c they know what you're trying to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If its overnight change them into their sleeping clothes and give them clues its time to sleep soon.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;99% of other passengers are great. We've had people move seats so we get an extra seat (and they get away from the kid!) And hopefully there will be some other kids nearby, the best distraction ever for a kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="519" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T02:00:43.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="889" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="896" CreationDate="2011-04-15T02:10:22.903" Score="18" ViewCount="217697" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the only thing that will keep a 2-month-old baby happy is a pacifier, but at that age, baby is too young to retrieve the pacifier after it falls out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helps to tuck the pacifier under baby's swaddle blanket, but this is not a perfect solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can imagine a device similar to those used to keep a retainer in, but I am not sure that this would be safe, and I don't want it to be a muzzle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any safe and respectful ways to help the pacifier stay in baby's mouth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-03T12:17:30.120" LastActivityDate="2019-09-03T12:17:30.120" Title="How can I safely keep a pacifier in a 2-month-old's mouth?" Tags="|newborn|safety|pacifier|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2011-04-15T02:19:33.910" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you'll just have to put it back in once he or she complains. It shouldn't be that hard since you're never far from a 2 mo. old anyway, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="520" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T02:19:33.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="891" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-15T05:56:19.130" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This age specific tag covers questions about premature babies anywhere from birth to what should have been full term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-04-17T00:32:11.557" LastActivityDate="2011-04-17T00:32:11.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="892" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-15T05:56:19.130" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions about newborns up to &quot;0 months&quot;." OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T13:12:19.803" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:12:19.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="893" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-15T06:01:06.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This age specific tag covers questions about newborn babies throughout the &quot;4th trimester&quot; as it's often called, from birth to about 3 months of age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any age specific tag, the edges are fuzzy between this and the following tag: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/infant&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'infant'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;infant&lt;/a&gt;.  The edge is less fuzzy between this and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/pregnancy&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'pregnancy'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A rule of thumb: this time frame ends roughly when they start to spend large amounts of time with their eyes open, awake and taking notice of the world around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:29:45.140" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:29:45.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="894" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-15T06:01:06.300" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from birth through about 3 months. Younger: pregnancy.  Older: infant." OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:29:49.743" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:29:49.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2011-04-15T06:10:11.547" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Phenergan may be an option, though consult a doctor first. My daughter travelled to Turkey when she was 18 months. The combination of planes and buses took about 40 hours - of which she slept for about 4. This is not fair on the kid and rather hard on my missus (she travelled alone). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter did not take Phenergan since our daughter and son are in the small number of kids for which antihistamine make them hyperactive rather than sleepy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was 6 months when he went to Japan - he slept the entire trip. Sometimes you are just lucky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T06:10:11.547" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2011-04-15T06:23:07.380" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seems unsafe to even try anything like that. I recall our hospital had a whole bunch of things they said not to do with pacifiers that pretty much all revolved around the notion of &quot;don't do like your grandmother did.&quot; (if you look at &lt;strong&gt;old&lt;/strong&gt; pacifiers, you'll see they have 4 holes, two on each side... those were for tying ribbon behind the baby's head to keep the pacifier in place.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two thoughts though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;try one with a different shape. We found that one shape always stayed in longer than the others. Different kids seem to want different shapes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;get a pacifier tether or clip to keep it handy when it does fall out. They're just a short length of ribbon with either a velcro closure, or a loop that you can thread it through on one end and a clip of some sort on the other. These were an amazing help at keeping pacifiers clean and close at hand to pop back in. And as torbengb points out in the comments, make sure it's not long enough to be a safety hazard, either from choking or strangulation. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-04-15T17:14:55.263" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T17:14:55.263" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="897" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-15T06:32:15.170" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This age specific tag covers questions about kids after you start working on school skills with them, but before they start school, so say from about 3 years of age to about 5 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any age specific tag, the edges are fuzzy between this and the previous and following tags: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/toddler&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'toddler'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;toddler&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/primary-schooler&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'primary-schooler'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;primary-schooler&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A rule of thumb: when they start to develop social skills appropriate for school then you're ready to move up to pre-schooler, until they actually start school that is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:29:55.623" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:29:55.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="898" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-15T06:32:15.170" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from about 3 years to about 5 years. Younger: toddler. Older: primary-schooler." OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-06-04T17:24:30.520" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T17:24:30.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="825" CreationDate="2011-04-15T09:19:30.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have almost exactly two years between our two daughters and we did a bit before the birth (we bought books with stories about new babies) and made sure that she 'knew' (as much as she could) that there was a baby in Mummy's tummy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then around the birth we bought her a gift from the baby - and a gift from her to the baby. So for a while after the birth she was keen to make sure the new baby played with the present from her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as they get older together, she's certainly the big sister (they even have one or two matching tops which say &quot;big sister&quot; and &quot;little sister&quot;) but aside from that we try and treat them similarly as much as we can - same mealtimes, same bedtimes, bath together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were moments of jealousy of course, in particular when Mummy was breast-feeding, but we try to mitigate those moments by having her help out and feel involved and also, more generally, making sure that we're giving her some time with us individually by herself. The baby is more time consuming, it will be natural for her to have some jealousy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T09:19:30.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="106" CreationDate="2011-04-15T09:27:28.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my own experience its easier to transition either from summer, or when you are going to change schools, such as going to Middle or High School; depending on your country.  I changed a few times during the year and it was disruptive, more so if you tend to be on the shy side.  If making friends is easy for your son then it may not be much of a problem, if his social interaction is not that strong then minimize the issues with a beginning of the year switch.  I was a bit on the shy side when I was younger so middle of the year switches were tougher for me, still you get used to it after awhile.  Kids tend to be more open to new social groups and interactions during the beginning of the school year when everyone is getting back in the rhythm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2011-04-15T15:03:24.247" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T15:03:24.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="901" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="903" CreationDate="2011-04-15T12:00:53.743" Score="6" ViewCount="196" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my sons have had allergies, my oldest has been able to cope and his have not been as bad as my youngest who just turned one.  My oldest seems to just deal with it now, but my youngest seems to be really bad some days.  He has the signs, dark circles under the eyes, runny nose, slight coughing; we think its probably dust and maybe seasonal as my wife and I both have that.  We have central air in the house, which has been outfitted with a UV light on the air return and I use the allergen filters in the furnace, the vents have been cleaned recently as well and we noticed a sudden flare up of allergy with our youngest for a couple days after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there are good coping strategies we can do with an infant to alleviate his symptoms?  With our oldest when we asked about allergies our pediatrician at the time said it was too early to test, so we haven't checked with the youngest.  My wife has mentioned floor vent filters, but I'm not sure if they would work.  I would invest in a HEPA filter, but they seem expensive and if it won't do much I'd hate to waste the money.  Anyone found any solutions that work with infants?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:44:42.083" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T13:00:38.850" Title="What are some coping strategies to deal with infant allergies?" Tags="|infant|allergies|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2011-04-15T14:30:45.483" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had similar problems. &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000LM2R44&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This pacifier&lt;/a&gt; worked for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/93rUk.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="81" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2013-06-03T12:29:34.980" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T12:29:34.980" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="901" CreationDate="2011-04-15T15:23:09.620" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would probably be worth your time to take your child to an allergist to determine what in particular he is reacting to.  A HEPA filter would only help if the allergen is both airborne and small enough to penetrate your regular filter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources of allergic reaction can be airborne, food borne, or come in direct contact with the skin.  The best way to combat allergies is to know what you are fighting instead of taking a blanket approach.  If it's pollen you know to run the AC instead of keeping windows open, and get a good HEPA filter and humidifier.  If it's dust mites, you know to vacuum more frequently, pay special attention to under furniture and other small spaces, and use a vacuum cleaner with a suitable filtration system.  If it's pet dander, you can consider finding a new home for the pet (though if it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; pet dander, and the reaction is mild and seasonal, it may be a function of the animal's shedding season, which could possibly combated without getting rid of the pet entirely).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You really don't know what to do until you know what you are fighting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T15:23:09.620" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="904" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="970" CreationDate="2011-04-15T15:57:38.143" Score="5" ViewCount="451" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK there's a royal wedding coming up and there will be lots of television coverage of the event for those who are interested. Personally I'm not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will also be a public holiday, so no work and no school. My initial idea was to take advantage of the holiday and the spring weather and the family would go to the beach or do something else fun outdoors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this potentially deprives my children of the chance to experience the event. It's even possible that in many decades time they will want to be able to look back and remember it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One option is to ask them, of course. And I will. But should I also be helping them to decide one way or the other (especially if it's an event that makes me feel a bit curmudgeonly)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-04-21T20:34:11.793" LastActivityDate="2011-05-01T23:07:23.557" Title="Is it important to encourage children to experience historic events?" Tags="|television|primary-schooler|history|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="904" CreationDate="2011-04-15T16:14:01.387" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you this much. Every historic event that my parents made me watch as a child, I'm glad that they made me do it. So I would recommend that you do take advantage of this opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T16:14:01.387" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2011-04-15T17:35:13.973" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure you have something for them to suck on (pacifier, lollypop, gum if they can chew it) or their thumb - Just in case the pressure causes pain in their ears. My 7 year old has that happen about 50% of the time when we fly, and a piece of gum makes it better within a few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="531" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T17:35:13.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="364" CreationDate="2011-04-15T20:02:20.700" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sunning the diapers is certainly the best (and most natural) method, but that does assume that you will have decent enough weather.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the weather doesn't allow for sunning, we add a small amount of &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B003LSFH0Q&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;OxiClean Free&lt;/a&gt; to our wash cycle. This helps to whiten the diapers and doesn't leave a residue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="532" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T20:02:20.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-04-15T20:07:04.660" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We cloth diaper almost solely for the cost benefits.  We calculated that given our needs, we would break even in about 3 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do not however use bumGenius or gdiapers.  There are many other options that are as easy to use and far less expensive. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theluvyourbaby.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Kawaii&lt;/a&gt; diapers are one example of a modern low cost diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="532" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T20:07:04.660" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-04-15T20:09:36.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I frequently use &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pluggedinonline.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Plugged In Online&lt;/a&gt;.  It is funded by Focus on the Family, and I've found it to be honest and fair in its assessment of films.  Their reviews come from a conservative POV, but they don't slander one group or another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="533" LastActivityDate="2011-04-15T20:09:36.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="910" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="911" CreationDate="2011-04-15T21:12:50.253" Score="10" ViewCount="1290" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age is a child able to brush his or her teeth unaided?&#xA;I don't necessarily mean what age in years and months, rather the general development process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I let my child brush his teeth on his own and after that I do it again. Now he wants to be a 'big boy' and doesn't want me to redo his routine. I, however, don't want him to get tooth decay, obviously. (I than explain that time and again, but well...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="121" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:45:23.987" LastActivityDate="2017-04-15T08:49:34.737" Title="At what age is a child able to brush his or her teeth unaided?" Tags="|health|brushing-teeth|hygiene|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="910" CreationDate="2011-04-16T00:23:31.763" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;They have to have the physically and mental capacity to continually brush all of their teeth for about 3 minutes (a number I've been told is good by many dentists). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's not able to get all the teeth, front and back, then what we have done with our kids is to set a timer for 1-2 minutes and let them brush, then have a parent brush for 1-2 minutes. One way to avoid conflict is to give them a choice: &quot;Do you want to brush first, or do you want daddy to brush first?&quot; Also, teach them to set the timer, because kids love timers for some reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they're old enough to brush on their own, I would still monitor them for the entire three minutes and make sure they're still setting the timer. At this time, you should brush your teeth along with them, so they see that its not just a chore for children, but something that all people have to learn and do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-21T16:24:35.387" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T16:24:35.387" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2011-04-16T00:49:09.570" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are the best things you can do from my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Do whatever you can to get &lt;strong&gt;bulk-head seats&lt;/strong&gt;. These are the seats in the front of a compartment that have a bunch of extra space. This is great for when your child is awake and wants to walk around for a few minutes. It also allows you to stretch, stand with your child, and change diapers much easier if you need to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Pay for a seat for your child (if you can afford it) and &lt;strong&gt;bring a carseat&lt;/strong&gt;. A child is much more likely to sleep in their seat when they're buckled in to a carseat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Bring a bunch of &lt;strong&gt;toys&lt;/strong&gt; (new ones are best as others described because it captures their attention more)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Bring a handful of new &lt;strong&gt;books&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) Bring an electronic device that you can play &lt;strong&gt;movies&lt;/strong&gt; on. Turn down the screen brightness so that it lasts longer, or better yet, try to get a flight with power plugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6) Schedule a flight that &lt;strong&gt;overlaps with their sleep time&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;7) Bring plenty of &lt;strong&gt;snacks&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-16T00:49:09.570" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="791" CreationDate="2011-04-16T02:20:15.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;By the time one is a teenager, one &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; be able to comprehend that some people are just jerks.  That realization is a &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; thing.  Too many people go through life doing stupid or downright self-destructive things in the name of being liked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is most important for your teen is to have a great social group of his/her own.  It's the difference between &quot;the world hates me&quot; and sitting with your friends grumbling about the jerks over there who are so much less cool/intelligent/whatever than you are.  If that hasn't happened at school, let him/her pick out activities that he/she really likes and take a class or join a club/team.  It may take a few for your teen to find his/her niche, but in the end it will be worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the teasing at school gets to the point where it's interfering with learning or safety (physical confrontations, threats, vandalism, etc.) then talk to the school about it (or better yet -- give your teen the chance to be his/her own advocate, and step in if the school is not responsive).  If it's just annoying, there's the old saying about sticks and stones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't make everyone your kid meets be a decent human being.  You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; teach your child the difference between things that matter (safety, education, etc.) and things that don't (loud-mouth jerks), and make sure he/she has the coping skills to deal with whatever comes around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of being an adult is choosing who you will, and who you won't, have as part of your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-16T02:20:15.817" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-04-16T02:44:38.447" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cloth diapering can be much more cost efficient than using disposables - including the cost of washing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many types of modern cloth diapers, and the cost of diapering largely depends on the type of diaper chosen, as well as the brand of that diaper. Most types are sold with an organic option, which will also raise the price of the diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;All-in-ones (AIO)&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; expensive versions of BumGenius that are AIO and are made of organic cotton, these are called BumGenius Elemental. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Fitted&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fitted diapers are likely the most expensive option, as they are sold for specific weight ranges and will not fit a baby from birth to potty-training as many of the others have One-size options. Many fitteds do not have a waterproof outer shell, and also require the use of a cover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;All-in-2 or Pocket diapers (AI2)&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The classic BumGenius diapers are a pocket diaper, and there are many cheaper options for pocket diapers, including but not limited to AlvaBaby, Sunbaby, and KaWaii.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Hybrids&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;gDiapers are an example of a hybrid, and are the most expensive of the hybrid diapers available. A cheaper hybrid option is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cottonbabies.com/index.php?cPath=139&quot;&gt;Flip System&lt;/a&gt; (offered by the Cotton Babies brand who also make BumGenius diapers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Modern Covers&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Modern covers, such as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thirstiesbaby.com/duo_wrap.htm&quot;&gt;Thirsties Duo Wrap&lt;/a&gt;, allow for parents to use flats, prefolds, or fitteds very practically and for very little cost. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; cost effective way to cloth diaper is to use flats, but those are certainly not a modern option. Prefolds are also an older diapering technology, but the new version of covers developed help to avoid the &quot;plastic pants&quot; that were so terrible 25-30 years ago.   (Also, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.snappibaby.com/products/snappidiaperfastener.html&quot;&gt;Snappi&lt;/a&gt; helps avoid sticking the parents and baby with pins, making prefolds and flats a truly modern option.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Other Cost Factors&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a toploading HE machine that allows me to turn off the HE option. I wash our diapers in a conventional amount of water (they are harder to get clean with less water), and our water bill has only gone up about $4 per month. Our electric bill hasn't noticeably changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest cost advantage for cloth diapering is seen when the diapers are used for a second or any concurrent children. For the second babies and beyond, you do not even see the upfront cost of purchasing the diapers. This allows a family to diaper a child for about $5-$10 a month which is significantly less than purchasing disposables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="536" LastEditorUserId="193" LastEditDate="2011-04-26T16:42:35.623" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T16:42:35.623" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="916" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-16T03:09:24.433" Score="7" ViewCount="884" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard about studies that show second/third/etc children's motor skills develop quicker in an effort to keep up with their older sibling(s).  Is this also true for eldest children in a daycare setting with older children?  Are there studies to support this as well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="536" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T06:02:21.020" Title="Does daycare help to speed up the development of motor skills?" Tags="|development|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="916" CreationDate="2011-04-16T05:18:59.267" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children who are routinely challenged develop more quickly in the areas where they are challenged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A day care may or may not challenge your child.  They vary incredibly in both programming and quality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned about your child's motor skills, get them used!  Throw a ball, play hopscotch, play an instrument, study martial arts, dance, whatever keeps him or her moving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-16T05:18:59.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2011-04-16T07:59:03.493" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If people will hate you or not depends on if the kid will hate flying or not. My daughter for some reason loves going on  a plane, and eitehr sleeps or jumps up and down trying to get the attention of other passengers, which they usually thing is fantastically cute. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen other kids that hate flying, and they will scream and be a pain throughout the whole flight, and obviously everyone will hate them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the recommendation here must be to make the flight fun for your kid. And intercontinental flights are long, so that will be difficult. Many other recommendations here for things to bring to keep your kid entertained are good, so I won't repeat them. :-) You know better what to bring for your children anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-16T07:59:03.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="920" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="925" CreationDate="2011-04-16T10:22:12.800" Score="7" ViewCount="18693" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are good techniques to reduce/wean separation anxiety?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child cries when her mother or I leave the room, even to go to the adjacent room, or upstairs to get something. Most disruptively, she cries at night when she wakes up enough to be aware of us leaving the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now I am trying to comfort, calm, and then leave again, to teach her that crying isn't going to get the overall result she craves.  I haven't really seen an effect from that yet, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's about a year and a half old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any other suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="226" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:49:30.830" LastActivityDate="2019-02-20T00:48:19.820" Title="What are good techniques to reduce separation anxiety?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="922" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="924" CreationDate="2011-04-16T16:56:00.727" Score="17" ViewCount="8228" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2y5m old daughter speaks rather well for her age, but she keeps using 3rd person in almost every situation. Whether she speaks about herself or people she addresses to, she uses third person: not &lt;em&gt;&quot;I want to read&quot;&lt;/em&gt; but &lt;em&gt;&quot;Sonya wants to read&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, not &lt;em&gt;&quot;You smile&quot;&lt;/em&gt; but &lt;em&gt;&quot;Papa  smiles&quot;&lt;/em&gt; (while talking to me).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Showing her directly who &quot;I&quot; and &quot;you&quot; in a conversation fails so far: she's not getting the relative nature of these labels and says &lt;em&gt;&quot;I laugh&quot;&lt;/em&gt; when I laugh and &lt;em&gt;&quot;you laugh&quot;&lt;/em&gt; when she laughs. Watching other people (or cartoon characters) speak to each other also helps little: she only gets interested in the point of the conversation, not the grammar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the good approaches to teach her ways to understand and use first and second persons in speech?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="47" LastEditorUserId="47" LastEditDate="2014-06-18T21:00:16.513" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T09:58:28.227" Title="How can we teach a toddler to use first person and second person point of view in speech?" Tags="|speech|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="922" CreationDate="2011-04-16T17:54:52.873" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, don't worry too much.  Many 2yos have trouble getting pronouns right with regard to person (1st, 2nd, 3rd).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way you're trying to teach person pronouns is suboptimal because if your child imitates you directly, she's doing it wrong.  The easiest language learning begins with direct imitation.  So, you can &quot;cheat&quot; by using a puppet or stuffed animal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's natural for kids to speak &quot;for&quot; their inanimate friend, so taking turns doing that for a toy (to other toys) is a good way she can imitate you and be correct at the same time.  Speak &quot;for&quot; the stuffed animal using pronouns from &lt;em&gt;it's&lt;/em&gt; perspective rather than yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-16T17:54:52.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="922" CreationDate="2011-04-16T18:12:21.750" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way I've found to help with this is to teach them a song where they use the 1st and 2nd person pronouns along with pointing. They would point to themselves when saying &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt;. They would point outwards or to someone else when saying &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;. They will scan their hand across the room or point to multiple people when saying &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This helped my 3yo bilingual son learn the pronouns and conjugated endings in Persian, which he was having trouble with, even though he had very little trouble with the pronouns in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will gradually learn the proper use of pronouns anyways, so there is not much to worry about, but this seems to help them get there faster. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-17T02:35:50.683" LastActivityDate="2011-04-17T02:35:50.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="920" CreationDate="2011-04-16T18:46:34.233" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't let her be on your hip all day.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby this old should be used to playing in a playpen or a gated baby-proof room where she can see you at least most of the time.  If your parenting style keeps your child on you during most of her waking hours, separation is scary because it is new and different.  You can't expect a child to sleep alone at night when she hasn't yet learned to play in a playpen while you are out of eyesight for a minute or three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by putting her down with some interesting toys while you do a common chore (folding laundry, washing and putting away dishes, putting away the groceries, etc.)  Make sure she has line of sight on you 90% of the time, and that when she doesn't you are still in earshot so she can hear you.  If she's totally unused to this, you may have to start by making those &quot;disappearances&quot; super-short -- 10 seconds, then 20, then 30, then a minute, then two... you get the idea.  If she gets uncomfortable while you are out of sight and starts crying, just call to her from the next room to let her know you are still around, but give her no other special attention for crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For bedtime...&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start with a good (and by &quot;good&quot; I mean &quot;unfailingly consistent&quot;) bedtime routine.  Brush teeth, put on jammies, get snuggled into bed, read a story.  Do it at the same time in the same way &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; night so that it becomes familiar and comforting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the bedtime routine is over, go to some corner of the room and read a book, or use a laptop (on very low light with the screen turned away from her).  The key is to be quietly &lt;em&gt;there&lt;/em&gt; but not to interact with her in any way.  She &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; cry and protest, but eventually she'll get the hang of it.  The more she's used to having you at her beck and call the more she will have a fit -- you've taught her that crying brings mom or dad running, so when that doesn't work she'll ratchet up the intensity until she realizes that things have changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After she can handle you being in the room but not giving her attention, move to the doorway, then just outside the doorway, then out of sight but within earshot will start to work.  If she fusses after you are already out of the room, wait about 10 minutes before you respond, and respond by poking your head in the doorway, reminding her that it's time to sleep, and walking away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why this works&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids get separation anxiety for one of two reasons (or a combination of both): being away from you (the parent) is new and different and they don't know how to respond, or they are afraid of something (rational or otherwise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer to both is experience.  The only way to learn that being away from Mom and Dad is okay is to be away from Mom and Dad.  Taking it in small bites makes it easier for your child to digest and they seem to learn more quickly and easily that way then when you try to make them go &quot;cold turkey&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-16T18:46:34.233" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="916" CreationDate="2011-04-17T06:41:03.857" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids know the difference between adults and others kids.  As much as they will try to emulate adults, they are more fascinated and interested in other kids.  Be it day care, Sunday school or neighborhood kids, kids will learn from older or more advanced kids, especially when they become at an age when they are actually interactive and want to play with other kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my son's case, when he was in a multi-age home daycare (from 13-18 months), he learned to feed himself (combination of not having 1:1 adult attention and observing other kids) and &quot;cook&quot; as they had a large play kitchen (everything from handling pots &amp;amp; pans, opening up the oven and various shelves).  He wasn't really every playing with the others kids at this age, he'd just copy them and do his own thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your day care separates kids out by age, you may find less of this modeling, since the kids will all be of the same developmental stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastActivityDate="2011-04-17T06:41:03.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2011-04-17T06:46:53.743" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;For some brands of pacifiers, you can find a stuffed animal which attaches to the pacifier.  For example, for the Soothie pacifier, you can check out the Wannanub product line (see monkey version below), available on Amazon.  Even young babies can learn that they can hang on to the toy and get access to the pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ReCvZ.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Wannanub monkey&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastActivityDate="2011-04-17T06:46:53.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="928" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="929" CreationDate="2011-04-17T10:31:10.550" Score="13" ViewCount="6772" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to do a lot of activities with my 8-year old son but he seems to prefer to play computer games (on his DS, his PC or my phone) for most of the time. How can I prevent him from spending too much time on this activity, without making him feel uncomfortable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="534" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-09-06T15:30:10.597" LastActivityDate="2020-09-06T15:30:10.597" Title="How do I reduce the time my child spends playing computer games?" Tags="|video-games|screen-time|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-04-17T11:12:51.463" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should definitely focus on providing better alternatives. Think about activities involving whole family, like playing boardgames, hiking, some sports, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also what kind of computer games does he play? Try to show him strategy games, like Starcraft, Civilization, Total War series (if he's old enough), or quality puzzle games, like World of Goo, Cogs, Crazy machines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Restricting measures, like limiting time spent playing computer games, are OK to &lt;strong&gt;some extent&lt;/strong&gt;. But these measures should be supplementary. Making them largest component of your strategy will likely result to alienation, more conflict etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-17T11:12:51.463" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="843" CreationDate="2011-04-17T12:19:23.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a rat, two cats, and two fish tanks. Earlier we had more cats, two hamsters, and a dog. My in-laws have a dog, too. Our daughter is now about 2.5 y.o. and our son (now 18) grew with animals, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lessons learned:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children love pets, pay a lot of attention to them, and usually don't conflict with pets at all. Different pets are not equally sociable, though: a chinchilla or a rabbit will pay less attention to humans than a dog or cat or a rat or a big parrot. Fishes don't interact much with humans, but are interesting to watch nevertheless.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To successfully cope with child's love, pets should be durable enough. A grown-up phlegmatic dog (preferably rather large) is the best. Grown-up cats are ok, too, though these are more keen to avoid intense interactions. Little kittens and puppies are reasonably handled by children of at least 5 y.o., and are way fragile for a toddler. A rat can only leave the cage when the toddler is away. Fishtanks have to be kept reasonbaly covered, with various pipes and wires hidden from easy reach.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You have to do all the maintenance yourself. You walk the dog and then wash it, you clip claws of the cat and groom its hair, you feed hamsters and rats and fishes. Children are interested in interaction and would gladly try to help. But don't expect a child to be capable of really lessening your load before age of about 7-8.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can't skip walking a dog. Doing this with a child younger than 5 y.o, especially if the weather if not fair and dry, is more challenge than fun if you're alone.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Animals grow, change and eventually die. Seeing this at age of 8 and 10, our son learned, it seems, something important about this. But avoid adopting a pet that is going to die when your child is 3, this would be traumatic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Before you commit to adopting a pet, check whether you and your baby are allergic to it! A short direct contact, like 15 minutes in a pet shop, may be enough to develop an allergic reaction. Probably there are better tests, consult your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You have to enjoy the pet yourself. Small children are real copycats. If you neglect or abuse a pet, so will your child (and this would hardly be a positive lesson).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="47" LastEditorUserId="47" LastEditDate="2011-04-17T12:24:27.567" LastActivityDate="2011-04-17T12:24:27.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-04-17T18:15:58.857" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;One strategy is to &lt;strong&gt;stop buying your child computer games&lt;/strong&gt;, at least for a while. Once he has completed the games he has, he'll be more open to doing something else, since he has exhausted the games. This is one reason to pre-select which games your child plays as some can be played 'infinitely' (e.g. Farmville) since there isn't necessarily an end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To fill the void left by the computer games, you will need to have already found a number of new activities that are as engaging, flexible (portable, not constrained by time) and fun as the games. This is not going to be easy - computer games are hugely addictive and engaging for children, so it needs some though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if it's raining/windy/cold/dark, then you can't go to an outdoor activity, (but could saty indoors play computer games...), so we need a number of indoor activities. The local sports centre may offer some things - we have an amazing climbing centre in London which is just awesome. You already mentioned museums, but there's also exhibitions, art and craft centres. These are all a family commitment, (he likely can't get there by himself), so can't be every weekend.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Music is portable and engaging (like computer games). I filled up an old iPod Mini with a ton of random music and asked my nephew to find which tunes he liked. This kept him busy for quite some time, although it came with a ton of feedback for my taste in music :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My friend's son and my 2nd nephew are both into model making of the Warhammer type. The local branch of Games Workshop does group sessions every Saturday morning where you take your collection of models and either play the game with them or paint then.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Physical activity such as swimming, cycling, requires some commitment but it's pretty engaging and the achievements that can be had - swimming badges, cycling records - can raise a childs' self-esteem too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid there's no easy answer to changing your childs' activities quickly and easily, so this is going to take some experimentation and potential upset before you find a good solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-04-17T18:15:58.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-04-17T18:37:36.440" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would take another approach, and ask what's the underlying problem that you're trying to solve? That is, why is playing video games a problem? Is it the lack of other physical activities? Is it a concern that they could be learning rather than playing? Is it a concern about the lack of socialization?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was definitely into video games in a big way as a kid. The best alternative my parents seemed to come up with was (a) putting a limit on the time per day for certain activities (b) providing either chores or equally entertaining, enriching alternatives during leisure time, or (c) changing video games into a reward, so it doesn't feel like a restriction (e.g. &quot;You can play your games, but only after you finish mowing the lawn). In these cases I made sure to do a quick, but thorough job of mowing the lawn in order to get the reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your strategy has been simply to try to forbid it, without an alternative, I think you'll find that you'll just get a bunch of questions about &quot;why&quot; video games are bad, or similar lines of questioning, which lead you to a discussion that really doesn't hit the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="546" LastActivityDate="2011-04-17T18:37:36.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="934" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-18T01:11:49.120" Score="3" ViewCount="6735" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are on our third infant/toddler tub, and haven't liked any of them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started with the safety first tub that slides open with the frog sponge.  It leaked.  Next up was the Summer infant deluxe baby bather.  That worked until our daughter got too big for it.  We just tried the summer infant fold away bath and plan to return it tomorrow (she kept sliding down).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What features / styles have you found to work well when bathing infants and toddlers? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="547" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T15:21:44.357" LastActivityDate="2012-03-28T04:05:06.810" Title="What features should I look for in an infant or toddler bath tub?" Tags="|toddler|infant|bathing|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="910" CreationDate="2011-04-18T01:23:24.147" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not sure if they are still around (ask your dentist), but when I was young I remember there were some pills which you could shew after brushing. These pills stained badly / un-brushed areas bright red. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could let your kid brush their teeth, chew the pill, check with them in the mirror for red spots and fix those until the kid gets it right on the first go more often than not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="548" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T01:23:24.147" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="904" CreationDate="2011-04-18T01:25:36.163" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your children aren't old enough to decide for themselves you will ultimately be &quot;helping them to decide&quot; anyway because they will likely be doing what you are doing anyway. If you are at home in front of the TV, they will be at home in front of the TV. If you decide to take them to the beach they will be at the beach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can base your decision on quite a few things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How significant is the event if you take away the hype? Is it likely Will is going to be the next king? Is it likely they will still be together by the time your children grow up?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How significant is the event culturally? How much does your part of the UK identify with monarchy? Is watching the wedding part of how your country identifies itself? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How many other people are watching it? Will you children feel left out if they miss out on this? Maybe there teacher will ask them to write an essay about it?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Will your children's needs be better met by spending the afternoon with a loving family or sitting in front of the box? Is this something that will bring your family closer together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T01:25:36.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="934" CreationDate="2011-04-18T01:48:26.933" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe you are expecting too much. Babies will kick and wriggle and are prone to sliding around. Try and find something that they are happy with more than finding something that you are happy with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bathed our son in the tub next to our washing machine (you know the ones) and he was content. We purchased a bath seat which was good at stopping him from slipping and he could still kick and wriggle. Baby seats are a lot cheaper than baby baths and we were able to use it when we move him to the bath tub until he was able to safely support himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/xzQgz.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Regardless of your choice, be sure to supervise your child in the bath at all times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastEditorUserId="480" LastEditDate="2011-04-18T02:00:28.753" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T02:00:28.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="194" CreationDate="2011-04-18T04:49:08.923" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;First thing you want to be sure that your eldest is not repeatedly doing the wrong thing despite being told repeatedly as per what @afrazier said. This is not going to work if your child is deliberately being disobedient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have something I do with my son (4 year old) and it works very well for me personally. I combine the collection of rules into a question which represents an idea. The question makes him have to think and provide an answer and a rationale if it is wrong. Eventually it causes my son to infer other rules and because he has thought for he himself he is more likely to remember rules after being asked once or twice rather than repeated nagging. He is essentially providing his own barriers by thinking things through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would aim to combine all your efforts into a central idea, it could be something like &quot;Is that a nice thing to do to your sister?&quot;. This should not be posed as a rhetorical question, you should ask in a way that you are expecting your 4 year old to answer and also provide a rationale behind her choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if it is getting in the face of her sister and you ask &quot;Is that a nice thing to do to your sister?&quot; and she answers yes. You can ask her why she thinks so (please listen attentively even if you completely disagree), then you can explain why it is not nice from the point of view of her sister until there is an agreement that it is not the right behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I notice that after this has been done a few times you will have shorter and shorter discussion. So if she pinches her sisters cheek because she thinks she is cute you can ask the question and what I have noticed over time, your daughter should be able to pause and think for a minute without discussing, compare to previous conversations and then come to the conclusion by her self that this is not good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hope is that eventually the child will think for herself every time she approaches her sister and can begin to think in her own mind &quot;is this a nice thing to do to my sister?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T04:49:08.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="939" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="940" CreationDate="2011-04-18T05:14:07.040" Score="14" ViewCount="1411" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son does a reasonable amount of painting, drawing etc. although his main love is sport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However everything he produces is abstract. It's always patches of different colour. His technique has changed over the past couple of years, so each work looks unique and is not necessarily rushed. However most of his class mates / peer group (he is in child care) who are the same age can draw houses and birds and trees etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has only ever on one occasion painted a picture, which was of me, that wasn't abstract. And it was as good as his class mates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also if you ask him to explain his art he has a consistent story with each one. So if it's a dinosaur eating cucumbers, if you ask him in 3 months time it's still a dinosaur eating cucumbers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never told him his style is wrong or that he should be like other kids. But I am concerned that he may be missing out on developing hand writing skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this just an example of uniqueness or should I be encouraging my son to draw more concrete things like birds and houses? This would mean having to spend extra time to make him do it as he would rather be outside kicking a ball.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-02-11T09:46:36.900" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T09:46:36.900" Title="Everything my 4 year old son draws is abstract. Is this a problem?" Tags="|pre-schooler|arts-and-crafts|fine-motor-skills|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="939" CreationDate="2011-04-18T05:28:02.753" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your son wants to learn to draw realistically, he can choose to do it at any time in his life. That's a skill that anyone can learn. So there's no particular reason to try to make him draw the world the way you see it right now. If anything, you risk making him hate drawing and painting. His creativity is a wonderful thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.&quot; -- Pablo Picasso&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T05:28:02.753" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="934" CreationDate="2011-04-18T07:49:14.453" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;How old is your child?  Is she able to sit up herself yet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we started immersing our young infant for a bath, we used the First Years Infant to Toddler Tub with sling (first photo, on the left).  In the end, we didn't use the sling much since though it provided some support, I thought it got in the way of us cleaning the baby.  The seat provided me some peace of mind in handling a slippery wet baby.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he outgrew this tub (around 6-7 months old), we opted for a basic tub and found exactly what we were looking for in the $7 IKEA Lattsam (second photo, on the right).  It has rubber grips under the tub and in the tub to prevent slippage.  We originally used it on our bathroom counter (and rigged up a tube to siphon away the water because the tub with water was too heavy to carry), and then just put it in the bathtub when our son started splashing too much.  It's better than using the whole tub in my opinion even though we could do that now since it requires less water to fill it up to a comfortable depth, and I think it's cleaner and easier to keep clean.  Since it is pretty large, I think he'll be able to use it until he is 2.5-3 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/nDOZ3.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;First Years&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/mx0Gl.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;IKEA Lattsam&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T07:49:14.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="942" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="946" CreationDate="2011-04-18T10:02:46.207" Score="4" ViewCount="12391" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our two and a half year old daughter was potty trained fairly early just before she became two. This went quite smoothly, and after a few weeks she had almost no accidents. During her afternoon naps however, she still wears a diaper and she also consistently pees, even when she went on her pottie right beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a few weeks she will go to preschool, where she can still have her afternoon nap, but can't wear a diaper anymore. So she will have to be 'clean' also during her nap.&#xA;I know for certain she is able to physically hold it up for the time her nap normally lasts. She just has to make this mental click that she shouldn't relax this during her sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we help her do this? We've already switched back to cloth diapers and we are making her aware (just before her nap) of the fact that from now on she should be able to hold her pee up during her nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:58:31.067" LastActivityDate="2014-11-20T00:23:34.980" Title="How can we address lapses in potty training during afternoon naps?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|potty-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-04-18T11:02:59.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a similar discussion on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/201/what-can-i-do-to-encourage-my-12-year-old-son-to-do-more-productive-things/237#237&quot;&gt;this thread&lt;/a&gt;, and I think you may find the answers useful. In particular, I would reiterate the power of books. They have the power to spark the imagination as much as any video game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often the challenge is finding a book that is at your child's level and matches their interests. If they're not into reading, they will definitely need some help with this. You can't simply say &quot;go read a book&quot;, nor can you just pick a random book from the children's section of the library. Forcing them to read a book in which they have no interest will be counter-productive. Alternatively, helping them find a book that sparks their imagination will give them an appreciation for reading and maybe even open them up to different kinds of books in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T11:02:59.063" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="934" CreationDate="2011-04-18T12:49:27.530" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to be you are overcomplicating. A plastic tub with rubber on the bottom is all you need. One that comes with a stand is good so you don't have to bend your backs. We've used the same tub from day 3 when we came home up until now, a year later, and it still fine. I expect she will outgrow it soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/OlPXu.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Simple plastic tub&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you will have to hold the baby on one arm until he/she can sit up. It's generally not a big problem, in our experience. YMMV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some tubs that have a little &quot;seat&quot; molded into them, ostensibly to make the kids not slip.  We heard kids in general do not like these, and after using one at my grandmas place this was confirmed. So avoid things like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/qd3k4.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;This is not the one we actually used&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T12:49:27.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="934" CreationDate="2011-04-18T17:53:17.073" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say &lt;strong&gt;you don't need special baby products&lt;/strong&gt; for this. We bathed our infant in the sink, and once he outgrew that we moved to the tub with a hand's width of water. Still works well at 18 months!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are ALWAYS next to the tub; our child is never unsupervised near water. It's also a lot of fun to watch, and after playing for a while, it's soap time and then done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T17:53:17.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="942" CreationDate="2011-04-18T20:30:01.883" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not many toddlers that age stay totally dry when sleeping.  If she has the potty routine down during her waking hours, she probably just isn't physically developed enough to hold it during sleep.  There's a big difference between conscious urine retention and what happens during sleep.  Most toddlers are just beginning to use the toilet around 2.5, and many kids have nighttime wetness, at least occasionally, through their early primary school years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Were I in your place, I'd talk to the preschool about having more realistic expectations of two-year-olds rather than pressuring your daughter on something she likely cannot control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T20:30:01.883" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-04-18T21:53:09.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simplest way to stop your child from playing computer games is take the computer away from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now this does not eliminate your responsibility to your child to help them find things to do while they are young. My daughter only spends a couple of hours a week on the computer. The rest of the time is spend with the family. We do things together, go to the park, read; things like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I dont think kids under the age of 10 should have a computer in their room. My children are young so that may change as they grow older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T21:53:09.193" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="194" CreationDate="2011-04-18T22:23:30.690" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your four year old is on par with others her age developmentally, she has yet to fully grasp perspective taking, which is why she can't see that this is annoying to her sister and to you.  Doing what others have suggested (ie asking &quot;Is that a nice thing to do to your sister?) will help her learn that her sister may not want to hug her for as long as she may want to or that taking toys away from someone is not a great way to practice sharing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few other suggestions would be to allow her to play out her affections on a doll or to plan frequent play-dates with her peers--chances are, she won't act that way with them, and it may start kicking in that she shouldn't treat her sister differently.  Its tough, because you want to encourage altruistic and loving behaviors between your children while also controlling the intensity of those behaviors.  I think that explaining to her that her sister is a baby and that babies are fragile might also help; you might suggest that when she wants to give someone a great big hug, you'd be happy to oblige her, since you're less fragile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="507" LastActivityDate="2011-04-18T22:23:30.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="934" CreationDate="2011-04-19T00:52:47.673" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got one with a little seat, my mother-in-law brought back from Taiwan; so I disagree with Lennart on the seat question but every kid is different.  The molded one works great and 5 years later our second son is getting some use out of it.  We just try to keep them amused during bath time and have never had a problem&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T00:52:47.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="942" CreationDate="2011-04-19T01:13:29.813" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if you mean &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_care&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;childcare&lt;/a&gt; or nursery school? Kindergarten in most countries I know is around 5,6,7 years of age (as confirmed by &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kindergarten&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this wikipedia article&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is just childcare then you have picked a very unsupportive one if you are made to worry about this. Do they really force your child not to wear a nappy at age 2.5? This sounds unnatural and just plain stupid. Toilet training takes time and wherever you take your child should actually be supporting you in this process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son's childcare verbally encourages, reads stories to the children and works with parents to develop a good routine. There is no forcing children off of nappies at such a young age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children get anxious and even embarrassed with toilet training. This is why I would suggest not to force a child to stop wearing nappies if it is not the right time or put them in a situation where they could become upset or uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has already gone through this phase, but I would suggest if possible change the place you are going to take her to somewhere more supportive and reasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I got my son through training was by:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reducing the amount of water he drank up to 30 minutes before sleeping&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I woke up during the night I would wake him and take him to the toilet&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discussing with him the aim and not putting too much pressure on him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This process takes time, and not just a week or two. You may find an 80% success rate in the first two weeks, but it may take a couple of months before you are getting close to 95%.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember we were washing his sheets almost every morning before work at least for a month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T01:13:29.813" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="942" CreationDate="2011-04-19T01:55:35.723" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you my experience going through potty-training with 5 kids. Just make the cut-over to underwear and don't look back. When you put your child in diapers sometimes and not others it confuses them. Our oldest would specifically tell us that he didn't know whether he had on a diaper or underwear. That's when we decided to quit diapers cold turkey. We've had luck with this strategy with all our other kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They may wet themselves in bed a few times, but after a few times they usually stop. Get a plastic bed liner so the mattress doesn't get ruined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T01:55:35.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="953" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-19T05:34:06.453" Score="4" ViewCount="496" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems common at day cares to have an eating scheduling like:&#xA;8am breakfast&#xA;10am morning snack&#xA;12pm lunch&#xA;3pm afternoon snack&#xA;6pm dinner (at home)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hear that more frequent, smaller meals is better for adult digestion.  But are those in-between meal snacks important?  My slow eater could be eating all day.  When he's at home and I'm less disciplined about keeping to schedule, we can't seem to keep up both snacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T13:59:06.200" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T13:59:06.200" Title="Are between-meal snacks important?" Tags="|eating|nutrition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="953" CreationDate="2011-04-19T05:46:23.793" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's day care indicates on a board what meals each child has eaten during the day. I've observed that many children don't eat the snacks and some children eat three serves at lunch time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So just because it's in their schedule doesn't mean your child will be eating every time there is food offered. Each child is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important for development that children aren't left hungry so the day care center is just being responsible by offering snacks; and lets be honest, we're talking about slices of apple and dry biscuits, not chocolates and ice-creams.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also these snack times are used as a reminder to staff to ensure children are stopping play to have extra fluids, wash their hands to prevent nasties like cold and flu spreading and reminders to take a toilet break for those who are toilet training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if your child doesn't eat regularly in between meals at home there is a chance they're also not doing it at child care. If he has enough food to eat at school and he's not asking for food at home then I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds like he's just being well looked after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T05:46:23.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="955" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="957" CreationDate="2011-04-19T05:56:36.817" Score="13" ViewCount="929" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old is always extremely unsettled whenever they first interact with a guest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't matter if it is another child who has played with many times before or an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also doesn't matter if it is at our house or outside somewhere like a park or restaurant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is usually 5 - 10 minutes of him trying to bury his head, not greeting the person, trying to pull us away from the person and quite often there will be tears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This usually ends in him going to time out and once he has come out he is completely changed. His head will be up, he will be extremely friendly and talkative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have guests over quite regularly, so it is quite common for him to be around different people. But it happens almost every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming it's some sort of anxiety with guests, so is there anything we can do to reduce this? We always tell him in advance when someone is coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T14:07:10.307" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T14:07:10.307" Title="How can we help my pre-schooler get over his initial shyness when we have guests?" Tags="|pre-schooler|friends|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="955" CreationDate="2011-04-19T08:27:09.143" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;We always talk about the people coming (important distinction from just telling them about them) - so we remember the last time they were there, perhaps some news about them, what we're going to do, if they're another child then we might talk about what toy to share. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically it's about setting her up to ask questions or show something off to the new person arriving, so rather than having her think about how to react, we're almost like actors rehearsing our lines, which are then delivered. By the time she's run out of prepared plot, she'll be relaxed and just ready to act normally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also helps because she has some sharing issues, so if we've prepared what toys she's going to introduce to the visitor, we're skirting around her being defensive about them before it has even happened. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T08:27:09.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="955" CreationDate="2011-04-19T09:38:37.137" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what you mean by &lt;em&gt;going to time out&lt;/em&gt; but it almost  sounds like you're trying to force the child to be participating and being social from the start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give the child time to adapt to the newcomers.&lt;/strong&gt; Don't expect the child to be social and friendly immediately -- allow a number of minutes to get used to the situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let the child play in his room &lt;strong&gt;until he feels ready&lt;/strong&gt; to come out and greet. If he needs company (he's pulling you away) then give him some attention away from the newcomers, then get back to the guests. Since you say this only takes a few minutes, there's no harm done to your guests; it's not like you're leaving them standing by the entrance for an hour. And if you're more than one adult, then one can take care of the guests and one can take care of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our toddler is also hesitant toward new people at first, regardless if they're well-known relatives or strangers. This shyness goes away after a few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-12T06:04:51.610" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T06:04:51.610" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="953" CreationDate="2011-04-19T17:09:55.000" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, in my experience it's important to offer between meal snacks. My children lose patience with one another when they are hungry which leads to more disagreements. Snacktime, like a fixed mealtime, encourages them to take a break, recharge, and be social. It's also an opportunity for my kids to practice hospitality with one another (sharing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the time it takes to eat, we have set time limits for meals. This is usually the time it takes for the adults to eat plus 5 minutes. Generally, 20 minutes is sufficient for everyone to eat dinner and if the conversation takes longer then dinnertime is naturally extended. I find that when my kids are hungry they focus on eating and the meal does not take very long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also find that when they are preparing for a growth spurt they eat alot more food. Predicting the growth spurts is next to impossible. However, I can make sure they have enough food by providing between meal snacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T17:09:55.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2011-04-19T17:13:39.677" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of this behavior sounds like sibling jealousy to me. The fact that your son is talking about &quot;Mommy and Baby&quot; and then saying that he's just like his sister seems like he's trying to fit in with your new family dynamic. Think about: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When did the behavior change? Was your son into different things before his sister arrived?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your family (wife, other family member, family friends) pay more attention to your daughter?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your son participate in any individual activities - friends outside the home, special interests etc?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to spend more individual time with your son, provide him with an outlet to be an individual instead of being just part of a family. You should also provide him with many different strong role models: male, female, other races/religions/nationalities/professions/etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="554" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T17:13:39.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="166" CreationDate="2011-04-19T17:34:37.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that its all about the food. Plus, if your baby was breastfeeding - the mother's diet is critically important. The mother should stay away from foods which loosen the esophagus or produce acid: milk, chocolate, coffee, mint, cinnamon, peanuts, wine, alcohol, tomatoes, etc. Everything that the mother eats, the baby consumes in the breast milk. As your baby switches to foods, maintain the same restrictions on her diet. Dairy replacement is probably going to be a big factor - try soy milk, rice milk or (my personal favorite) almond milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="554" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T17:34:37.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="85" CreationDate="2011-04-19T17:38:36.483" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Around 5 months, I took all of my little one's toys and put them on a low-height-couch (I took off the cushions). Then I'd sit with her in front of the couch, and help her stand up. She'd lose balance and fall down (no worries, I was right behind her, and caught her) but then she'd want to get up. She'd try and push herself up (from my lap) or look for my hands to assist her in getting up. Eventually, she mastered pulling herself up, without my assistance, quite well :). The standing and playing with her toys strengthened her legs fairly well (we think). I slowly started increasing the height of the couch (blankets, putting the cushions back on) and moving her toys around the couch so she'd cruise (walk holding on to the couch) on the couch. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also absolutely hated tummy time. So I'd sit on a recliner/put myself in a reclined position and just hold her (face down). She'd then lift her head to see around her (essentially tummy time on YOU) and that helped strengthened her neck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, at almost 9 months, she is a little cheetah when she crawls and pulls herself up against walls...cabinets...tables...my knees...everything...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note, ours had a keen interest in walking/standing and had fairly strong legs. If yours isn't able to hold her own weight, I wouldn't recommend trying this. Every child, ultimately, is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T17:38:36.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="934" CreationDate="2011-04-19T20:19:40.093" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used towels in the bottom of the bathtub.  I laid down 2 towels in the bottom of the tub and poured just enough water in to cover the towels and about 1/2 to 1 inch above it.  I put down big soup cans on the corner of the towels so they wouldn't float away.  I continued to do this until my boys were sitting up and moving around enough that the towels wouldn't stay put.  After the bath was done I put the towels directly in the washing machine and did a load of laundry right away so that they didn't sit around for very long.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T20:19:40.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="904" CreationDate="2011-04-19T20:36:52.113" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;At least give them the opportunity, if they are not interested they will probably let you know that fact but at least then you are providing the forum for them to acknowledge the event.  I know I barely remember the moon landing when it happened, but I do know I got to watch it on TV at the time so I feel I have that connection.  I remember the wedding for Charles and Di but didn't care so walked out when it happened, at least then if people asked me about it I could give my own opinion on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I let my kids participate as much as possible, bringing them to historical sites and parks now, some interest my son and some do not but sometimes even he surprises me by saying something about the visit months later.  I'm all for giving them as many opportunities as possible to know and see something different, I believe that's my duty as a parent, but I let them decide how long they want to be involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T20:36:52.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="964" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="965" CreationDate="2011-04-19T21:13:00.850" Score="10" ViewCount="33676" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two sons, one is 1.5 years, the other just 3 months old. It's strange that my older child often wakes up at night and starts crying uncontrollably and just won't calm down and go to sleep unless I take him in my arms. My younger son has also started doing this. I'm a developer and rarely spend time with the children so there is no attachment issue here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could be the reason for this behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="558" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-03T12:21:55.127" LastActivityDate="2019-09-03T12:21:55.127" Title="Why do my children cry in my wife's arms but are quiet with me?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|sleep|crying|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="964" CreationDate="2011-04-19T22:34:04.307" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find that my 4-week-old will calm down differently for me vs my wife.  My theory is that my wife smells like milk, so if he's hungry, nothing but mom will do.  Other times, he can get agitated if mom is holding him but &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; feeding him - but he has no expectation of food from me, so he'll be calm for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His older brother, now two years old, used to calm down for me but not his mom, long after he was weaned.  My theory there was that he knew that dad meant business, and that no amount of squirming was going to get him out of being rocked to sleep.  Mom just doesn't have the stamina and strength.  It took about a week and a half or two weeks to get him used to the fact that squirming with dad was pointless - and then many months of that before mom could really do anything (once he had learned to calm down and sleep).  Six months later, and he finally is more or less going to sleep on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="557" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T22:34:04.307" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="904" CreationDate="2011-04-19T22:41:42.507" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whether it will be important or not really depends on the child.  Whether they have any &quot;wonder&quot; in the bigger picture of life.  Some people are nose-down, focused on here-and-now, others are dreamers.  And you may have an idea of where your child will be 10 years from now, but you won't be entirely sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if you find that you look back on historic events in your life with awe/amazement, your kids are more likely to emulate that.  So, without any further information, the question is whether you would enjoy it or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, it's not that big of a deal to me.  However, I'd be tempted to show my kids if it were age-appropriate (e.g., 7+ for girls, probably 8 or 9+ for boys) if only because they &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; look back on it with that sense of wonder and appreciation when they're older, and it doesn't hurt.  But I probably wouldn't spend $100 per ticket on it - watching the TV or Youtube coverage of it would be fine.  And I wouldn't get upset if they weren't interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="557" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T22:41:42.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="853" CreationDate="2011-04-19T23:03:45.430" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our answer is: PVR.  Record the news, watch it after the kids go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="557" LastActivityDate="2011-04-19T23:03:45.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="968" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="971" CreationDate="2011-04-20T03:26:42.763" Score="12" ViewCount="516" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I both work full time, this means when we are at home we are both quite busy with housework. This could be in the yard or inside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As my son is an only child and he wants to spend more time with us he frequently offers to help with whatever task we are doing. Even if this is something he is clearly not capable of he still wants to participate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some household chores that a child can safely do or assist with that your children have happily done? If necessary also provide the age that you think this is appropriate for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples for myself are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feeding our chickens&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Washing tomatoes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taking beans / peas out of their pods&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T14:09:19.480" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T03:54:52.697" Title="What are some age-appropriate tasks that my pre-schooler can do around the house?" Tags="|pre-schooler|family-activities|chores|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2011-04-20T03:46:33.507" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realized there was one important aspect of the question that nobody else hit on, so I felt it appropriate to provide my own answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While performance on a driving test and cost savings are important factors to consider, I think a more important factor is that as a parent &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;you personally&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; feel comfortable letting your child drive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to be able to know that over a period of time, my child is driving responsibly and defensively. I want to feel that when I let him drive on his own, he is going to stay calm, follow the rules, and be courteous. I feel that the best way to gain this trust is for me to teach and observe my child over a period of time. Letting them get instruction from someone else, won't give me the same sense of comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Among other reasons, this is why we've decided to do the driving education ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T03:46:33.507" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="904" CreationDate="2011-04-20T09:59:34.987" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few different ways to address this question: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm not interested, but there are good reasons why my child should pay attention to it &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm not interested and don't think my child should be either, but eventually they might disagree and will feel aggreived at my choice &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;my interest is secondary, my child will be bored by it, but they need to know about such things in order to create opinions &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I am interested but don't want to foist my choices on my child &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... and doubtless many other subtleties. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this situation, I'm with you - I'm not interested in it. I think we'll strike a middle ground because we've got some people coming over. Those who are interested can watch the TV, those not can sit in the garden and play or chat. I'm sure the kids will want to watch TV for a while, not least to copy the adults who are doing that, but the smaller ones will be quickly bored and will go and do something else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So they'll have a bit of exposure, perhaps enough to remember, but I'll be doing my bit by setting an example and being a grouch in the garden! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T09:59:34.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="968" CreationDate="2011-04-20T11:56:35.770" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is one of those things that if you get creative about, you can almost always find a way for them to help. For example, my 3yo wanted to help move a heavy couch a few weeks back. Of course, having him actually stand near the couch itself was dangerous, so I told him that he could stand behind me, put his hand on my back, and help push me as I walked forward. I then told him to, &quot;push harder&quot; and made grunting sounds, which made him emulate and think that he was really helping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are just eager to be a part of something, so don't think about it from an adult perspective. They don't have to perform the actual task, but rather, they are often content doing some related or seemingly related portion of the work. For young kids in particular, it's usually more about the sense of importance and collaboration than actually performing the task at hand. Be creative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T11:56:35.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="968" CreationDate="2011-04-20T12:15:33.140" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is also one of those things that depends on the child.  My son LOVES to help out whenever we do things, cooking, shoveling snow, raking the yard and so on.  Some cooking tasks he is great with, such as mixing and measuring, but I wouldn't have him do certain other things.  I'll let him try something that I think he is ready for, such as raking and shoveling snow, but often he will either get bored or find out its &quot;work&quot; and stop or play around.  So first off I would say see what your child is capable of doing and let him do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, I'd suggest making it fun.  Keep your child engaged, if not they may figure out its &quot;work&quot; and stop or just not enjoy it.  Sometimes I make things a game, and that keeps things interesting for my son, or I make it a contest - he has a bit of a competitive streak so we can see who can finish or do something first.  That keeps him engaged.  I also try and talk about what we are doing, since I inevitably get questions, so he understands not just what the task is but why it needs to be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T12:15:33.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2011-04-20T13:52:24.710" Score="49" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did a small amount of research into this. According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&amp;amp;id=12771&amp;amp;cn=462&quot;&gt;one theory&lt;/a&gt;, children at the age of 3 haven't solidified the idea of gender permanence, that they are one sex and remain that sex even if they wear different clothes, etc. A three-year old boy may understand that he is a boy, but not necessarily have internalized that he is &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; a boy and will &lt;em&gt;remain&lt;/em&gt; male forever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not getting into issues of later gender identity here, obviously, there are people who never feel comfortable as males or females and feel the need to change sex later in life. This is atypical, whereas having a flexible sense of gender in early childhood is quite typical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the articles I read point to the ages between 3-6 as a time when gender identity becomes solidified. That is, at age 3 there is a sense that gender is flexible, but by age six most children have locked into a gender identity. So I think that for your 3 year old, there isn't any cause for concern at this time. His behavior is not particularly unusual, and it's too early to come to any conclusions about his sexuality or gender identity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally, after I read &quot;The Trumpet of the Swan&quot; to my son (who was about three at the time) he pretended to be a mommy swan for several weeks. He would pretend to build nests and sit on eggs, waiting for them to hatch. He's spent time caring for his sisters dolls. He loves baseball.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, he's just a kid, and his games reflect what he is thinking and learning about more than anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T13:52:24.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="974" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="975" CreationDate="2011-04-20T14:28:29.277" Score="36" ViewCount="13750" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that interacting with a variety of other children at social functions is an important part of childhood development.  However, there seem to be a &lt;strong&gt;lot&lt;/strong&gt; of children who are... how shall I phrase it?  Undisciplined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Undisciplined behavior in other children can have direct impact on your child, no matter how well behaved.  Poor behavior in other children can serve as a bad example, or it can result in upset, or even injury, for your child (think chronic hitters, biters, and bullies).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even normally well-behaved children can have bad moments, too, especially when in a group environment where situations can escalate much more quickly than normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, disciplining other people's children is a potentially touchy subject, especially given the wide range of opinions of child raising &quot;best practices&quot;.  I know some schools of thought advocate &quot;never saying no&quot; to a child, and many advocate very different approaches to setting boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, how do you handle poor behavior in other people's children?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you respond when the child has a parent present who does not respond in a way that you are comfortable with?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you respond when you are the chaperone, and there are no other parents present?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T01:37:58.327" Title="How do you handle poor behavior by other people's children?" Tags="|discipline|behavior|socialization|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="974" CreationDate="2011-04-20T15:44:45.370" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a general rule of thumb, if there is a parent / baby sitter / caregiver present I try and let them take care of matters, using the lower end of my interpretation of generally accepted behavior as the yard stick for when to interfere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I do think I have to interfere I'll address the child, not the parent. This usually helps. If that rubs the parent the wrong way they'll let me know and I can let them know they really should have done something about it before I interfered. (Although, usually, if they don't care about their children's behavior, typically they don't seem to care about me correcting it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The above is assuming the behavior is not endangering any one. If that's the case I'll jump straight in and deal with any sensitive parents later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the behavior does not get better, we'll up and leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to play dates (i.e. no other parent present), the presiding parent should determine what's acceptable and what's not. I'm stricter than some of my son's friend's parents and easier than others. Kids will quickly learn to adjust to whatever parent is calling the shots (it's either that or no more play dates). For a while we had to stop play dates with one particular friend who'd get consistently out of control. He's grown out of it and now he listens and all is well. We never had to call the other parent to cut a play date short, but that's always an option. Also the threat of no more play dates EVER unless behavior gets better right this minute usually helps as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found that over time you end up hanging out with like minded parents / kids and so it becomes less and less of an issue. Also the older kids get (my son is 8 now) the more they seem to be able to gauge what is acceptable behavior and what isn't and to self correct (and stay away from kids that don't exhibit similar ideas as to what's acceptable).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="139" LastEditorUserId="139" LastEditDate="2011-04-20T15:52:27.030" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T15:52:27.030" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="976" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="979" CreationDate="2011-04-20T17:12:39.480" Score="14" ViewCount="2372" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a few weeks now my 2 year old daughter has woken up in the middle of the night crying for mom or dad. This started out when we took off her diaper and she would cry to go to the potty. She picked this up in a day and would wake up and call/ cry for us to potty once or twice a night instead of wetting herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were shocked and happy at this, but it soon turned into calling us and not needing to potty, but to get her way into our bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Needless to say once in our bed she starts pushing us around at night, making it hard to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we cut this out so that we can get some sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="563" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T14:10:57.963" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T12:21:00.047" Title="How do you stop a toddler from trying to get into bed with her parents in the middle of the night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2011-04-20T17:59:00.683" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work with a 14 year old girl who has selective mutism. I've been spending a couple of hours every weekday with her for 5-6 months now and a couple of weeks ago she said &quot;hey&quot; to me, just the once, and that was the only time I'd ever heard her voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly doubt there's anything you can actively do to help her through this. The only thing you can do is to not pressure her or draw attention to her in a group situation in any way. The more you try to persuade her the less likely she will be to talk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is really important in the case of a child like this is to get a proper professional diagnosis of selective mutism and from there professional help, there are plenty of experts out there that can advise you/the school on the best way to approach this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that in the case of the girl I work with, having me around has helped her, since she feels more comfortable doing things and participating (even if non-verbally) when she knows that I am there to take care of things if people make it awkward for her. It's a lot easier for her to communicate (not necessarily by talking) with one person than to do it in front of a group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can she communicate nonverbally? An important thing I found is that it's usually a bad idea to give her a choice. If I ask &quot;do you want this or this?&quot; I'm never going to get a response, but if I say &quot;is this OK?&quot; then sometimes I might get a nod.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="564" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T17:59:00.683" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-04-20T18:24:50.800" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been evaluating this recently, as well. Our initial cost for cloth diapers (if she doesn't make them) will be about $600. They'll last for an expected two+ years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disposables over the same time period we estimate will cost us about $2500. For us, as long as we spend less than $1900 in &lt;em&gt;additional&lt;/em&gt; laundry costs, we're ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="193" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T18:24:50.800" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="976" CreationDate="2011-04-20T18:29:15.877" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter used exactly the same tactic (altough it was only in early morning)&#xA;Do not give in on letting her into your bed. I think this is a thing to be consequent about. You will have to be strict and clear: calling you out of bed to go to potty is ok, doing this to get into your bed is not. Under no circumstances she should be allowed to use this as a strategy to get into your bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next time she calls you for her potty at night, go to her put her on her potty, but when it get's clear it's just her tactic to get into your bed again, explain to her that it's ok to call you for her potty but that getting in your bed is not possible and that she will have to go to her own bed. Bring her back to her bed then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using this technique will probably lead to a few nights with huge scenes, and crying tantrums, when your daughter will find out her former tactic is not useful anymore. This is hard, you will be tired and probably feel terrible about yourself. Do not give in. You can console her in her own bed. Keep this short, explain again that she can not come with you and will have to sleep in her own bed. Go away. If she keeps on crying, do not go back immediatly, but wait a reasonable time (at her age this can be 10 minutes, in my opinion), she needs to be able to realize you will not come back immediately, and fall asleep by herself. Eventually she will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few nights this habit will disappear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T18:29:15.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="968" CreationDate="2011-04-20T19:22:43.140" Score="3" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Chopping vegetables for dinner. My 8 and 9 year olds can do this.  My 4 year old helps out with this for softer vegetables.  She can use a butter knife, so there's no danger of her getting cut.  It doesn't look as nice as when I do it, but still tastes fine.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Just about any part of cooking they can do, with supervision depending on age and maturity.  Added benefit of this is they are much less likely to whine about the food if they helped make it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Taking out the trash.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Washing the dishes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Putting away the clean dishes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Moving wet clothes from washer to dryer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Folding clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T19:22:43.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="964" CreationDate="2011-04-20T19:25:35.337" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you hum or sing while you are holding them?  The male voice tends to radiate through the chest and the vibrations can have a soothing effect on children, especially very young ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T19:25:35.337" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="982" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="983" CreationDate="2011-04-20T19:40:00.563" Score="11" ViewCount="1141" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm aware that TV should be avoided at all, if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my daughter likes it and when she watches TV we have the chance of doing some cooking, housekeeping, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what's an acceptable amount of TV for a 4yo child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="41" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-08-29T20:42:27.567" LastActivityDate="2020-08-29T20:42:27.567" Title="How many hours of television per day are acceptable for a pre-schooler?" Tags="|pre-schooler|television|screen-time|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="982" CreationDate="2011-04-20T19:59:16.370" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;107/2/423&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;AAP&lt;/a&gt; children should be limited to a maximum of 2 hours of &lt;strong&gt;quality&lt;/strong&gt; TV per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-10T17:07:08.607" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T17:07:08.607" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="982" CreationDate="2011-04-20T20:25:34.543" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We do at most 2 hours per day for our 5 year old, but they CANNOT be continual hours, he can do at most one hour at a time then needs to take at least a 30 minute break.  Of course this also means being a good distance away from the TV as well.  If your daughter is old enough why not try to have her help you during the chores...there is another thread on that here as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T20:25:34.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="982" CreationDate="2011-04-20T21:16:37.253" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Accompanied or unaccompanied makes a difference too. If it's TV that you're watching as well, discussing with them so the two (or more) of you are interacting, then you're probably able to get away with more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just dropping a child in front of the TV and wandering away is what we all sometimes do, but has to be less! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastEditorUserId="126" LastEditDate="2011-05-03T16:34:58.863" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T16:34:58.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="982" CreationDate="2011-04-20T21:18:50.217" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would agree with Michael that no more than 2 hours per day is an acceptable limit; studies have shown that pre-schoolers do benefit from educational programming (just google search it, there is a lot of interesting research going on), especially in the area of literacy.  Television programs like Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer work on teaching letters, numbers, and vocabulary, and are among the less obnoxious shows.  Anything that promotes violence, bad manners, or discourteous and disrespectful behavior should be avoided. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I also liked Michael's answer because it gets at the point that television is not a babysitter.  Your four year old will learn much more if they are cooking or participating in household chores with you than anything they could learn in front of the tube.  I completely understand that you need time to get stuff done, but I would encourage you to include your child in as many home activities as possible; this can encourage a love of creativity and a sense of responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="507" LastActivityDate="2011-04-20T21:18:50.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="982" CreationDate="2011-04-21T02:16:29.710" Score="14" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm aware that TV should be avoided at all, if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're totally right. The best answer is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;None.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just do it-- you won't be sorry.  Also, support &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/screenfreeweek/index.html&quot;&gt;Screen Free Week&lt;/a&gt; this week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't have a TV by choice. During meal prep my kids&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;draw a picture&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;read a story&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;help with dinner&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;set the table&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sing a song&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;play a game&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make a pretend dinner&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be done! TV makes your kids vapid consumers instead of the delightful people you want them to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="572" LastEditorUserId="572" LastEditDate="2011-04-21T19:41:26.917" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T19:41:26.917" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="976" CreationDate="2011-04-21T03:37:37.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is probably just a phase which will soon pass. What worked for me in similar circumstances is allowing my son to come to our bed for 5 minutes (and I would tell him that he could home for 5 minutes only) and after five minutes firmly move him to his bad. It would usually last for several nights and stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T03:37:37.823" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="976" CreationDate="2011-04-21T04:46:52.887" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;During the evening when she is usually awake. Tell her she needs to play with her dolls in the other room while you and mom talk in a seperate room. Spend about 5 mins the first time and build up to 15 mins. She can not interrupt, as this is the time when mom and dad talk.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What this does is give her the secure feeling that she needs and she will sleep through the night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worked with my kids!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW not my idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="577" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T04:46:52.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="991" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="997" CreationDate="2011-04-21T07:38:15.953" Score="15" ViewCount="1309" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife's pregnant, and December I am going to be a father for the first time. Apart of being happy and exited, I am asking myself:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Are there any hacks I could apply to this new life situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Are there any gadgets/apps that might help me with that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not a gadget type of man. For example I don't even have a wrist watch, but I could imagine having a watch being helpful. I like having processes working in the background, so I don't have to remember everything. Have you heard of this guy who recorded every sound produced by his child, until he(or she) started talking? I don't want to be extreme like him, but I am thinking on a similar wave line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going to extend my GTD to this new life chapter, and I am sure I will find plenty of websites about kids stuff like strollers or toys. This question is more about stuff regular parents don't know about. Home automations for monitoring the environment, eye masks (or blindfolds, I don't know how you call them) for taking a naps, apps on the smartphone... anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="580" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T14:15:16.210" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T16:17:57.413" Title="What are some hacks and gadgets for a soon-to-be dad?" Tags="|gadgets|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="982" CreationDate="2011-04-21T07:43:30.833" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a general rule of one hour a day, of TV/DSi/Computer playing.  To be frank, we're trying to wean them off as it's just too easy to let the TV become the defacto nanny when you're busy.  However, there are some good programs for them to watch, which are intelligently directed at forming 'good citizenship'.  You just have to find them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not averse to allowing kids to watch TV, but it does have to be restricted, as they forget how to actually play, how to interact, and how to behave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotal, I know, but one child will go and play wonderfully when the TV is turned off, but the other will throw a paddy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T07:43:30.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="976" CreationDate="2011-04-21T08:44:24.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course, the potty call is just a ruse. She's using that because she knows you can't ignore her (we see that and the more occasional 'my &lt;em&gt;xxx&lt;/em&gt; hurts') - it's a guaranteed attention seeking ploy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So put her on the potty by all means, but don't stay with her - it's hard because in the middle of the night you're tired and don't want to wake everyone up (our 2yo has a younger sister). By not staying with her, she's not getting a partial victory in your attention. But absolutely don't relent, not even for a few minutes. Once she 'wins' (and it is about winning) it'll be even harder the next night. Even giving in when she's ill makes it harder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our bed is for the morning, once everyone's awake, not for the middle of the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Indeed, when she's ill we prefer to get a mattress and one of us will sleep on her floor.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will pass. One thing is that maybe her bladder really is too full over night? We make sure that a potty trip is the last thing before getting back into bed for lights out and even that the last drink is a while before there. That will get harder over the summer, but for a few nights to break the cycle, it could be worth a try too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T08:44:24.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="994" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="998" CreationDate="2011-04-21T08:48:08.317" Score="8" ViewCount="6127" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age is it appropriate to make a party for a child and invite other kids with their parents to celebrate his birthday?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user54" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T17:48:42.263" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T17:48:42.263" Title="At what age is it appropriate to have a party for a child and invite other kids and parents?" Tags="|age-appropriate|socialization|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="994" CreationDate="2011-04-21T09:12:05.323" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Different approaches may apply in different cultures. But is there any reason not to have a small party and a fuss starting with the 1st birthday? Family will definitely want to be involved and most infants will enjoy the attention and they will enjoy observing the excitement in the faces of the adults around them. Not so many adults that the child is made anxious by the crowd, of course. And one or two small children (these will be the babies and children of family and close friends).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you happen to have no family or friends with small children, then having no other children is fine for 1st birthday (and maybe 2nd birthday). By 3rd birthday you will want to reach out to a few other families who do have children the same age as yours and invite them, even if they aren't close frinds of yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="59" LastEditDate="2011-04-21T09:25:13.213" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T09:25:13.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="994" CreationDate="2011-04-21T10:11:02.743" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say when he's able to answer questions like &quot;Who are your friends?&quot;, &quot;Who do you like to play with?&quot;, &quot;Who would you like to invite to your birthday party?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T10:11:02.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-04-21T10:41:55.013" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is quite common, but a baby monitor definitely comes in handy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This allows you to leave a baby in it's room without having to stress out by checking every minute. Children make lots of small noises when they are sleeping and the monitors are quite sensitive. You can starting cooking (or another noisy activity) and be assured the child is still sleeping and not trying to scream over your noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The monitor pictured even plays soothing music to keep your little one sleeping peacefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/HYSQW.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next thing you should get is an electric thermometer.When a child has a fever it's good to (and very important to) know you have an accurate reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also recommend a bottle warmer. Having one of these means you can quickly heat up milk hands free. Esp. if it's stored milk and your wife is out. You will need to be quick and also multi-task with a screaming baby so this definitely comes in handy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T10:41:55.013" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="994" CreationDate="2011-04-21T10:52:55.647" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did this for my son on his 3rd birthday and most recently for his 4th birthday and he definitely had a blast. My son goes to childcare 4 days a week and he had a great time playing with his friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On his second birthday we only had close friends and family and he was definitely too small to have close social bonds with his friends to have a large party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something that might also be useful, they are still too small to play party games at this age. We tried this Christmas just gone to play pin the tail on the donkey and pass the parcel, but they just weren't interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For both his 3rd and 4th birthday we had a BBQ at a local playground and the kids played together for hours and some didn't even want to go home. The play equipment meant there was no pressure for them to focus on a particular activity they could just enjoy playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T10:52:55.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-04-21T11:27:04.177" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is probably a given for many, but a good camera and camcorder can make this time even more exciting. We had an ok camera and a borrowed camcorder when our first was born, and bought a much nicer camera and our own camcorder before our second was born. One of our best investments, and I definitely got my gadget fix doing all the research! It doesn't necessarily have to be fancy, but it should something you would enjoy using frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all of the pictures you take are going to be awesome, nor all the video. But you'll be surprised how much you appreciate even the mediocre pictures/video just a few years down the line. Our first loves watching videos of herself when she was younger, and it's a wonderful reminder to us as her parents how much she (and we) have grown in the mean time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T11:27:04.177" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="994" CreationDate="2011-04-21T12:10:13.613" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the first three years we did family parties, with a large extended family there are fewer chances of boredom as there is usually someone to play with.  After we got to pre-school and started having playdates the birthday parties started and these were often kid only affairs, separate from a family party.  Now we do the kid's party and then the family one...although with a summer birthday we'll probably start moving out to playgrounds and parks soon so the kids can have way more running around room.  If you feel the kids are ready for it, then its the right time, but I guess with most things is it depends.  With kid parties you need to provide entertainment, or a place kids can entertain themselves, probably why in the US the party places are popular so you just need to supervise and the party people handle everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T12:10:13.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-04-21T12:18:01.497" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I second the choices listed above (baby monitor, thermometer, camera/video camera).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth is you don't really need much in the way of gadgets.  Most of your efforts will involve physically juggling lots of different things (bottles, baby, diapers, wipes, burp-cloths, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are a few other things that may or may not be helpful, depending on some choices you and your wife make.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are using disposable diapers, a Diaper Genie may be a good investment.  It helps a LOT with the odor.  Trust me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, since you mentioned Smart Phone apps, there are two that I got for the iPhone: Baby Bump, which is good for during pregnancy (it has month-by-month info, kick counter, contraction timer, journal, baby name list, etc.), and&#xA;Total Baby, which has tools for tracking diaper changes, as well as bath, feeding, and nap times, which can be helpful in working out the best schedule for your infant.  Total Baby is really at its most useful when the parent who has the app is present for most, if not all, of the diaper changes, baths, feedings, and naps, though, so if you and your wife wind up swapping duties, it may be difficult to combine the data.  There's nothing the app does that a pen and some paper can't do, either, but it is a convenient interface and much more portable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T12:18:01.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-04-21T13:30:07.320" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; like the idea of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.itzbeen.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Itzbeen Timer&lt;/a&gt;.  Basically it's a specialized timer that you can use to show how long it's been since feeding, diaper change, nap, medication, etc.  Especially in the first few weeks when things are really hectic and you're both pitching in it can help you both keep track of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/uGTqb.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Itzbeen Product Image&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife bought the &lt;a href=&quot;https://market.android.com/details?id=com.earlybirdsoftware.babytimer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Baby Timer&lt;/a&gt; app for her Android phone after having our latest child.  It's a similar concept, but gives some extra statistics, letting you differentiate between wet &amp;amp; poopy diapers, track not just when feedings occur but how much (or how long, depending on bottle vs. breast feeding), etc.  We were both pitching in and it helped keep track of things, especially overnight, without waking the other up.  It also makes pediatric visits easier when they can look at the stats and history to see exactly what's been going on without you having to hope that you're reporting correctly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/v13GS.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Timer screenshot&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T13:30:07.320" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-04-21T13:34:50.730" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are looking for a hack, I'm going to go against the grain here and recommend possibly skipping the baby monitor.  If you still have a normal phone in the house, most cordless phones come with a built in &quot;room monitor&quot; feature.  It works great. Moves from room to room easily.  And it's not worthless when you are done with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T13:34:50.730" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-04-21T16:02:06.733" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Video Baby Monitor&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got a video monitor for the baby room.  It was great because I could easily see if I actually needed to go in the room or if it was just time to roll around and be noisy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Amazon Mom and Subscribe and save programs&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has saved us a ton of money and headaches.  I have it set up to have diapers, wipes, baby oatmeal, and other necessities mailed to the house once a month (or as often as needed).  For the first year you get an extra 15% off and free shipping with the Mom program.  I have only had to buy diapers in the store once in the last year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T16:02:06.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1006" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1007" CreationDate="2011-04-21T16:23:00.457" Score="14" ViewCount="2183" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a child has some close friends at school, but some of them come from relatively richer families, so they get maybe twice my child's pocket money, how should I answer when he complains and asks to be on par with such friends?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="589" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T17:49:54.743" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T14:17:52.317" Title="How should I respond to a child asking to have as much spending money as her friends do?" Tags="|school|money|friends|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1006" CreationDate="2011-04-21T16:53:12.340" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on their age, you may be able to use this to teach them about finances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not everyone is paid the same.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not everyone has the same expenses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you might give them an opportunity to earn a little more:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small payments for special housework (they still have chores that don't count here)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Other jobs (selling candy/soda/etc. at a garage sale; odd jobs for family/friends/neighbors)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Interest (set up an in home bank account, and allow them to earn interest on money they keep in savings with you)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="532" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T16:53:12.340" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="994" CreationDate="2011-04-21T17:28:22.670" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just had my son's third birthday party at a Little-Gym-type place, with his friends from school and family. He had a great time, but certainly wouldn't have noticed the difference if we baked him a cake and sang &quot;Happy Birthday&quot; in the house. Four or five is probably a better age to throw a party that will make an impact. Any younger, it's really more about the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="591" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T17:28:22.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="355" CreationDate="2011-04-21T17:40:00.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We began preparing our kids for sleepovers by starting with late nights out. They would stay at a friend's house until a specific time and then come home. After a few repetitions, my kids would usually ask to stay over for the night. We found that starting slow and expanding was easier for the kids than being overwhelmed with the thought of an entire night out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T17:40:00.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="843" CreationDate="2011-04-21T17:50:33.143" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When choosing a family pet it is most important to keep in mind the families lifestyle and living situation.  How often is someone in the home? How much space do you have? Is budget an issue?  Cats are very manageable pets to have and are rather low maintenance and low budget however it may be hard to find a cat that is good with children as many tend to be skittish.  Always bring the whole family to look at potential pets to see how the pet interacts with the entire family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dogs are great as well but a much larger undertaking. Things to keep in mind for dogs are their size, how much space they need, if they bark a lot, typical health issues for the breed, how many times a day they need to be walked, and if there are any stigmas associated with the breed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allergies are of course something to keep in mind so see what type of options the place you choose to get the pet from has if a family member is too allergic to keep the pet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly I think its important to go with your gut, all of my pets have picked me in a sense, so when you go to the pet store or shelter see who is naturally drawn to you, they will most likely make a good fit with your family.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="592" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T17:50:33.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1006" CreationDate="2011-04-21T17:53:11.780" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm against the whole concept of just giving kids money.  But if you are going to give it to him, I would respond to his complaints by having a discussion about fairness and equality and that they are not necessarily the same thing.  Other topics for discussion would be: whether his friends do anything to earn their money, what trade-offs are associated with them getting more money (e.g. his Dad is rich and can give him more pocket money, but works so much he never gets to spend time with his Dad), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T17:53:11.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="808" CreationDate="2011-04-21T17:59:35.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was very difficult to potty train. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you mention that you have tried everything, but I suggest making a game out of it. Put some Cheerios in the toilet for target practice or add food coloring to have him change the color of the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I would suggest removing underwear when in the house as they are used to just going in a diaper/pull-up. It will lead to some accidents, but the child becomes more aware.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, my son was on his own pace. It wasn't until he was told he couldn't go to school without being potty trained that he finally got with the program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T17:59:35.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1013" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-21T18:01:56.920" Score="16" ViewCount="2123" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year old child is a perfectionist and I believe it holds her back. She is so afraid of making a mistake or &quot;failing&quot; that she is afraid to put herself out there. She is similarly afraid to be the center of attention, thereby, never really trying to win the ball in sporting events, giving it her all in performance-arts related activities, or even meeting her potential academically (she selects really easy books to read, for example). How can I help her realize that mistakes are a part of life and help her realize her full potential?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="591" LastActivityDate="2013-02-02T00:35:08.120" Title="How do I get my overachiever to accept her mistakes and live up to her abilities?" Tags="|education|activities|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1006" CreationDate="2011-04-21T18:04:13.897" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the answers already given, I would also point out those who are not as fortunate as you or the richer families. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the age of your child, it may be a good time to discuss community service. Take your child to a food bank or get involved in other activities where your child can experience both sides of the coin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T18:04:13.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1013" CreationDate="2011-04-21T18:23:00.630" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that to a degree this is due to temperament: some kids love to be the center of attention and fool around, and others don't. Related (in my mind anyway) is how willing kids are to try new things and fail. Then there's the question of pride and being worried about being deemed a failure by their peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has a hard time sticking to things that he is not incredibly interested in or has a natural aptitude for. He'll try something, and if it doesn't go well, he'll get angry, sulky and will not easily try it again - mostly due to the gap between his abilities and where he wants to be. If it's something he doesn't really need to know or be able to do we'll let it go, but if, like reading, it is something important we've been doing the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try and console him, he's not stupid, and it is hard&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give examples of things he did stick with and became great at&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Highlight how far he's come already&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain that he'll never achieve the proficiency he wishes he had if he doesn't keep trying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Highlight some of our own struggles, both past and current, and what we're doing to overcome them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain why it's important that he stick with it and the potential future benefits he'll reap&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reward with something he likes if he sticks with it for the next x minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise his progress whenever we notice it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask him to assess how he's doing now compared to the past and if he says he feels he's doing better say things like: &quot;isn't it great that you can do x now?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is unfortunately not a one time conversation, but over time, as he has gotten better, they've become less frequent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="139" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-21T14:49:23.720" LastActivityDate="2012-11-21T14:49:23.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="904" CreationDate="2011-04-21T19:00:19.497" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question is regarding events of historical significance, and I will use an example in my life that is of historical and relgious significance to answer.  My sister is agnostic and they do not celebrate Easter.  However, she wants her children to have exposure to the context of the holiday so that they can form their own thoughts, make their own choices and show their own interests and preferences as they grow older.  So perhaps understanding the context of the current historical event is what you might want to make sure you expose your child to, and then depending on the level of interest they show, you could continue to give them more exposure.  So sitting down a week before the holiday, discussing why everyone will be getting that day off and teaching a little more about it (but maybe the school is doing that in this case) and then having the opportunity to gauge for yourself if the child would enjoy more exposure to that historical knowledge would be appropriate.  If the child is enthused, then you can plan your 5 hour wait on the curbside to watch the procession go by.  If less than enthused, go play at the beach and watch the coverage on TV later.  I think some discussion with you is warrented but you can gauge anything beyond that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="164" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T19:00:19.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="974" CreationDate="2011-04-21T19:09:00.647" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Korneel and Kevin.  I would tell my child privately that that behavior was not OK in our family. I do think kids can accept that there are different rules in different envrionments.  I would also, depending on the age of the child, speak to some extent as to WHY that behavior is not OK.  And I completely agree with the safety line that Korneel draws.  Bad behavior correction can be left to the attending parent unless there is a safety issue.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="164" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T19:09:00.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="994" CreationDate="2011-04-21T19:51:56.290" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Somewhere we read this guideline for small kids' parties, and we've found it a pretty good rule of thumb:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Limit the party to one friend per year of age.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child turning one can have fun with one friend and a few parents/relatives, but they aren't social enough to appreciate or enjoy a larger group, and things can get overwhelming. As kids get older it's more feasible to include more friends, and the friends' parents won't always stay. Having 7-8 friends for a 7-8 year old party is a lot more fun than having 7-8 two year olds!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="572" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T19:51:56.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1013" CreationDate="2011-04-21T20:05:42.297" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if it will help, but I like the following quote from the greatest basketball player of all time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Michael Jordan&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T20:05:42.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1021" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1036" CreationDate="2011-04-21T22:53:32.403" Score="12" ViewCount="9068" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't really want my newborn to use the pacifier because I'm afraid it will interfere with breastfeeding. The first week I'd nurse her for an hour to an hour and a half - basically until she was done with me. The pediatrician said to only nurse 15 min. max per breast because the baby was using me as a pacifier. We do have a pacifier that she absolutely loves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pacifier-usage seems to me like it could cause nipple confusion? Should I forego usage of the pacifier unless in desperate times ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:15:51.390" LastActivityDate="2022-05-19T20:46:55.657" Title="Can pacifier-use interfere with breastfeeding?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|pacifier|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1021" CreationDate="2011-04-21T23:01:00.067" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pacifier use too early, or, indeed, &lt;strong&gt;any&lt;/strong&gt; artificial nipple use too early can definitely lead to nipple confusion.  The various advice we had gotten both from out classes, and the lactation consultants, was to wait at least 3-4 weeks before giving any form of artificial nipple to the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, in our case, our son had jaundice, and therefore the doctors wanted to make sure that he got as much nurishment as possible during the first two days.  Since breastmilk usually takes a couple of days to come in, this meant we had to feed him formula with a dropper and a bulb.  Even that caused serious nipple confusion for him, and resulted in major problems when we tried breastfeeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-21T23:01:00.067" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1013" CreationDate="2011-04-22T04:20:23.240" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to one school of child psychology, how you praise your children has an enormous effect on how hard they try. So one possibility is that you should simply praise her for over reaching herself... praise her for choosing a harder book, for example, and don't offer any praise for finishing an easy book. Often times, kids who are told that they are good at something don't want to push themselves and risk not being praised or even being chastised for failure. So it's important not to praise success, but instead to praise effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ronitbaras.com/emotional-intelligence/personal-development-c/how-to-praise-your-kids-1/&quot;&gt;further reading&lt;/a&gt; on this topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T04:20:23.240" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1006" CreationDate="2011-04-22T04:22:21.850" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;That's great. I'm glad to see that you have ambitions. What do you think you can do to earn more money?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T04:22:21.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1013" CreationDate="2011-04-22T05:49:09.233" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We teach our kids how to play stringed instruments with the Suzuki method, and I think the best &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0976785439&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;parenting book I've ever read was by a Suzuki teacher&lt;/a&gt; who's also a child psychologist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the core insights in the book is that with practice, even complex skills become easier. When things are easier, they are more rewarding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has been a tremendous challenge to convince our kids in many areas (not just music) that learning things that seem hard and failure-prone (like riding a bike) &lt;em&gt;will happen&lt;/em&gt; and they will become easy and fun. But once they get that principle it's awesome. Our littlest is the most gung ho about new things because he's seen his older siblings do it. If yours is an only or oldest child, it's okay if it takes a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the only practical advice I have is that good education proceeds in small steps. Isolate one little skill to challenge her on, and find a way to motivate her to practice until she can succeed. Learning is actually pretty addictive if there's the right mixture of ease and challenge (this is what makes many video games irresistable to some).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be patient and try to have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="572" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T05:49:09.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1026" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1029" CreationDate="2011-04-22T08:23:53.733" Score="27" ViewCount="2635" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is not uncommon, that some teachers or schools introduce pseudo-science, like creationism, as a part of curriculum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that it is hard to change school quickly, how to deal with such situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T17:51:17.923" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T02:45:40.423" Title="How do you handle a teacher that teaches pseudo science?" Tags="|school|teaching|conflict|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1027" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1089" CreationDate="2011-04-22T08:47:15.903" Score="10" ViewCount="643" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to approach 4yo son that behaves poorly and\or doesn't listen to you, ignores your words, and at the same time stay calm? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems the only thing he understands is a physical punishment or loud voice, anything else - just gets ignored. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have already tried explaining and offering something in exchange.  There was some result with the exchange idea, but if he &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; wants to do something (e.g. take away a toy from his small brother) - nothing is working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user54" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T14:18:08.667" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T15:23:36.607" Title="What is the best way to calmly respond to a pre-schooler who will not listen?" Tags="|discipline|pre-schooler|conflict|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1028" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1042" CreationDate="2011-04-22T09:01:46.317" Score="12" ViewCount="5903" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 1yo and 4yo boys and it's very usual that the elder child takes away toys or doesn't allow the youngest to play with the toys, arguing that all the toys belong to him. We tried to explain to him that he should share his toys, it doesn't work. Another time we tried to give the youngest his own toys and told the elder child that he shouldn't take away the younger child's toys. This approach didn't work with the youngest, because he wanted to grab the elder child's toys. So should we teach them to share toys or to have their own toys?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user54" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T17:59:35.203" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T17:59:35.203" Title="How do you you encourage siblings to share their toys?" Tags="|siblings|jealousy|sharing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1026" CreationDate="2011-04-22T09:13:16.843" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everything ofcourse depends on the sort of pseudo-science and the amount of it your child is exposed to. If it is something that bothers you and keeps coming back. I would definitely talk about this with the teacher, the principal, etc. But when it's really part of the curriculum, it gets political fast and there probably isn't a lot you can change about it in the short run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But regardless if you are able to change something about it: Talk to your child about it. Make this a learning experience for him/her to develop their own critical thinking skills. What does your child think himself? Does he/she believe the teacher? What would be a way to prove the teacher is right? What would prove him wrong? When should he believe an authority figure, when not?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it's good to consider that your own influence as a parent, on norms, values and ways of thinking, is far greater than the influence of a single teacher, or even a school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T09:13:16.843" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1026" CreationDate="2011-04-22T09:14:29.633" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably the best guides to this topic come from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://ncse.com/&quot;&gt;National Center for Science Education&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In brief, the best approach seems to be to first contact the teacher (in writing) and ask about any materials presented in class that had to do with the pseudoscience. Do not engage them in any kind of debate, just ask (nicely) what they presented and whether you can see the materials. After that, depending on their response, contact (in writing) their supervisor with your concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dale McGowan, who edited Parenting Beyond Belief, has a series of blog posts about this exact topic, starting &lt;a href=&quot;http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=4504&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T09:14:29.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1027" CreationDate="2011-04-22T09:46:31.513" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The two main virtues of a parent of a young child, are patience and consistency.&#xA;It's good to have simple rules your child can understand and be (very) consistent about them. If it does not behave there should be a consistent consequence to this behaviour.&#xA;You should realise that it is good to explain why your child can not do something or should do something, but some things are just too dificult for young children to understand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some good pointers to possible consequences in this thread: &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/51/how-do-you-punish-your-child&quot;&gt;What are some suggestions for punishing a child?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially 'timeout' is something which is not only useful as a punishment for the child, but also for the parent to regain some calm and rationality. &#xA;Bribing is a technique that you should be careful with, because it can encourage bad behaviour by rewarding it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And lastly do not forget about positive enforcement. When your child (or its sibling) is behaving well, say so. Give compliments also at times, things are 'normal'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T09:46:31.513" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-04-22T11:36:31.300" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I also utilize the 'one parent, one language' approach.  He speaks only Danish to our son (soon to be 3), and I speak only English.  We speak both English and Danish to each other at home, and we live in Denmark.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son understands everything I say to him in English, but he doesn't always want to respond in English.  I'm working on that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Matthias also had a bit of the 'language lag' behind the other kids as he sorted out the different sounds, but now he's just about on par with the other kids he plays with.  I do a LOT of reading to him in English since he's not speaking it back to me as much as I'd like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T11:36:31.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1028" CreationDate="2011-04-22T12:35:44.210" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you will always have this, younger kids want to grab anything they can, often older kids will see any toy as interesting, especially something they have never seen before and may not be for them.  My boys have the same thing, I have to continually tell my 5 yr old not to take toys from his 1 year old brother.  My simple rule, if its in the hand its not yours.  You want it then wait until its not being used, and you can share it later.  It's a continual message and you'll have to repeat it over and over until the message sinks in, but its gotten better for us though I still need to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I see the action as a way of attention, especially around the times I have spent some more time with the younger boy than the older, so I just gently change attention while repeating the message.  Is the cause the same for you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T12:35:44.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1028" CreationDate="2011-04-22T13:03:06.870" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a good question. We have a 5yo, 3yo, and 20 month old twins who often have toy ownership confrontations. Dealing with ownership issues is a constant task for us. Generally, in our house it is a free-for-all, meaning that anybody can play with any toy, even if it was a gift given to one child specifically. Our reason for this choice is that with four little kids, we honestly can't keep up with which toys belong to which kid, and we have no desire to try to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When there is a conflict, we don't &quot;share&quot;, we &quot;take turns&quot;. let's say my 5yo just got a new space shuttle toy last week and when he wakes up he sees that my 3yo is playing with it. Inevitably he will throw a fit. We handle the situation like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parent [to 5yo]: &quot;He is playing with the toy right now, but I see you're upset about that.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;5yo: &quot;That's my space shuttle, I want to play with it, I don't want him to play with it. I don't want to share.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parent [to 5yo]: &quot;I understand that you want to play with it. He started playing with it first, so you'll have to wait 10 minutes and you can have your turn.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parent [to 3yo]: &quot;Your brother wants to play with the space shuttle too, so you'll have to give it to him in 10 minutes. I'll set the timer.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then set a timer and make sure the hand-off happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids have gotten so used to this, that now they say this to each other, &quot;That's my toy, I want it back in 10 minutes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't without issue of course. Sometimes waiting 10 minutes isn't good enough and they throw a fit. We stand by the tradeoff policy and separate the kids so there is no fighting or retaliation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This works well for us, and our kids are generally able to share and take turns very well when playing with each other and with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-22T20:56:57.870" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T20:56:57.870" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1021" CreationDate="2011-04-22T13:46:46.390" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the opposite tack to @Beofett - we did allow our children to have pacifiers (we didn't want to but they definitely helped) and we introduced a bottle of formula milk after the first week as the last meal before bed - which allowed me to have some bonding time with my children, as well as letting my wife get some much needed sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No confusion at all, and we let them wean themselves off the pacifier at around 2 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it helped keep life relaxed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T13:46:46.390" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1021" CreationDate="2011-04-22T13:47:33.567" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe you got a wrong advice regarding breastfeeding (As far as I know pediatricians get little to no training in breastfeeding so their advice regarding breastfeeding should be taken with a grain of salt). The most nourishing milk is hind milk which takes a while to get to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You certainly should not limit the baby's time on the breast and you should let him nurse on one breast as long as he likes and then offer second.  And there is nothing wrong with using your breast as a pacifier either. It stimulates your milk production. Pacifiers are convenient but they are not necessary and should not replace breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorUserId="574" LastEditDate="2013-07-22T17:04:45.567" LastActivityDate="2013-07-22T17:04:45.567" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1028" CreationDate="2011-04-22T14:38:48.690" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have this same issue with my daughter and son. My son is the younger of the two, and they both want what each other has to play with. &#xA;What I do is this. I let them have their own room for their special toys they dont want to share, and I have the shared all the time toys in my living room. That way if they want to play with their own toys they can go in to their room and play in there alone. It's been working somewhat well for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T14:38:48.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-04-22T15:17:47.907" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're both Israeli/Americans. We grew up in Israel and immigrated to the U.S. in our 20's. Our kids were born here. The children are exposed to english constantly and it's their language of choice, spoken among themselves. At home we are trying to speak hebrew too, but find ourselves often revert to English without even noticing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, even with little but constant Hebrew exposure- both kids can understand and speak Hebrew and they do so quite well. Our little one, 3.5 years old girl isn't even aware of the concept of &quot;being bi-lingual&quot; - she speaks hebrew with visiting relatives who speak hebrew, and English with the rest of us. She knows there are (at least) two languages, but thinks it's natural for people to speek many languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day she'll just realize she's bi-lingual, namely, when she finds out there are people who only speak one language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T15:17:47.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1013" CreationDate="2011-04-22T17:15:49.633" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our youngest daughter is a perfectionist who would only attempt things when she knew she could flawlessly accomplish it. She would have her brothers take her turn at video games and watch what they did. To a large extent, this perfectionism is a large part of her make-up and to try to completely alter it would be like trying to prune a full grown redwood tree into a bonsai pot. We were able to help her imagine what the worst thing that would happen if she tried something she hadn't yet mastered, and asked if she could live with that happening. She has become better and better at recognizing when to extend herself. That was helpful as was being sensitive when to challenge and when to support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A great video to watch, which is fairly recent, is the Honda video &quot;Failure: the secret to success&quot;:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiaPNlR5A4I&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiaPNlR5A4I&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our family is a theater family of actors. Not surprisingly, our daughter chose to tech, which she did at regional theater, high school, and college. When she was asked to be in a play at college (heavily cajoled by friends), she did what I thought impossible. Without any acting training, she pulled off accent, arc of character, and connection with other actors on stage. She was fantastic. She has since earned a chemistry Phd. As parents we helped form her as she formed herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is really no specific answer, since a parent's response is very situational. You'll know when to challenge your kid for behavior outside their comfort level and when to support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="603" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T17:15:49.633" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-04-22T17:22:28.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went through this very question with my husband; he wanted to watch &lt;em&gt;Charlie and the Chocolate Factory&lt;/em&gt; with our son when he was 2.5. I said it wasn't appropriate for Matthias, and that he should watch &lt;em&gt;Willie Wonka&lt;/em&gt; with Gene Wilder instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He wanted to know why, since both movies were 'about' the same storyline and had the same 'rating' given to them. I said simply because the overall 'tone' of &lt;em&gt;Charlie and the Chocolate Factory&lt;/em&gt; is &lt;strong&gt;much&lt;/strong&gt; darker than &lt;em&gt;Willie Wonka&lt;/em&gt;.  After he sat down and watched it (without our son), he agreed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our policy is to watch the movie ourselves first and try to look at it from our son's point of view. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-10T14:01:47.847" LastActivityDate="2018-07-10T14:01:47.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-04-22T18:44:35.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is from Taiwan and since my sons have been little she talks to them in Mandarin, I speak to them in English, so they've grown up hearing both.  They tend to be more fluent earlier in Mandarin than English, as they spend more time with my wife, and I notice this moreso with my youngest.  We also teach some sign language, this helped my oldest more as he did not talk until late, he was about a year and a half, we were suggested to have a speech pathologist come and check him out - we knew the rationale was the boy was probably figuring out what language to speak.  Turned out we were right, he was fine all along, just a late talker but since then he has made up for it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest goes to Kindergarten, but also goes to Chinese School once a week, he gets 3 hours of language instruction and comes home with homework to practice writing.  We also celebrate holidays from both cultures so there is exposure, as well as family members who mostly speak Mandarin.  My wife reads bedtime stories in Chinese, also has some Chinese DVD's and CD's so the kids can hear Chinese songs and watch some Chinese TV - when they get to watch it.  Getting the kids to speak, listen, read and write is something my wife both agreed on so we push for all three on my oldest, and my youngest will get the same.  I don't like the idea of being able to speak and hear a language without being literate in it as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As it is my oldest is better than me, I took some language classes for a couple years and know a little Chinese but my son has a better ear and speaks better than I do.  For me that's good, he can translate for me later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T18:44:35.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1028" CreationDate="2011-04-22T19:33:19.877" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three kids.  The way we handle this is that if it is in your room, it's off limits and the others have to ask before they can come in your room and play with it.  If it is in a common area, then it is fair game and it's strictly first come first server.  We also have a &quot;new toy&quot; rule.  The first two days you have a toy, you get first priority of playing with it, regardless of where it is or who was playing with it first.  If not everyone has their own room, you could have some other sort of &quot;safety-zone&quot; like a shelf or closet where they can store particularly prized toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if it is commmunity property then it's first come, first server and if more than one wants to play with it, we set a five minute timer and keep swapping back and forth until one or both get tired of playing with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T19:33:19.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1043" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1044" CreationDate="2011-04-22T20:08:59.513" Score="10" ViewCount="402" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is actually the opposite of a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1028/sharing-toys-between-siblings&quot; title=&quot;Sharing toys between siblings.&quot;&gt;previously asked question&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm doing fairly well with the 4 1/2 year old and the 20 month old sharing. But there are times that the older child wants to do things that are appropriate for the older child but not for the younger. (Crafts, models, more delicate toys). The kids bed times are very close together. We find ourselves limited to weekend nap time for the little one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What ideas do people have for distracting the little one so that we can:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have more than a few minutes of time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not undo all the teaching on sharing we're doing for the kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not have to always tell the elder, &quot;We can't do that now, the little one is around.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice as always is warmly welcomed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T18:02:06.930" Title="How do you keep playtime stimulating for an older sibling?" Tags="|siblings|jealousy|sharing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1043" CreationDate="2011-04-22T20:19:36.357" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Alone time is tough, perhaps sharing specific time for each one with another parent so both get a chance to do a task/craft with each child.  My wife and I take time with the older one, I will watch the younger and she and he will do something they like to do together.  I sometimes will take the older out for baseball or do some work outside and my wife will watch the little one.  It's worked well so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-22T20:19:36.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1045" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4134" CreationDate="2011-04-23T07:50:54.080" Score="4" ViewCount="4208" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm hoping there are a few geeky parents on this site. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son really likes the &lt;a href=&quot;http://scoobydoo.kidswb.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Scooby Doo&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman%3a_The_Brave_and_the_Bold&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Batman: The Brave and the Bold&lt;/a&gt; TV shows, which he watches on Cartoon Network here in Sweden. We're currently on vacation in Sofia, Bulgaria, and as I was wandering along &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slaveykov_Square&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Slaveykov&lt;/a&gt; the other day, I picked him up an old Scooby Doo comic book from one of the many book stalls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was really excited with the book, and wanted to read it right away, so we sat down and started. He really liked the pictures, and asked a few questions about the stories (there were two, each about 15-20 pages). He also enjoyed asking me which panels we had already read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he seems to be ready for comic books, I'd really like to introduce him to two of my favourites: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Batman&lt;/a&gt; and the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-Men&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;X-Men&lt;/a&gt;. My feeling is that the X-Men stories might be a little over his head at this point, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is this: can anyone recommend a specific Batman or X-Men series that would be accessible to a four-year-old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="492" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:03:26.930" LastActivityDate="2012-01-22T16:42:17.987" Title="What are some suggestions for introducing my pre-schooler to comic books?" Tags="|pre-schooler|reading|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1045" CreationDate="2011-04-23T08:54:15.837" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of the concerns of X-men and Batman are likely beyond a four year old, though a parent reading stories they love, tends to just plain work for a lot of reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I remember right, our kids loved the some of the Disney &quot;Huey, Dewey, and Louie&quot; where they were going on adventures. Crime solving. Dora the explorer might also be appropriate. There are similar issues as with X-men and Batman, just in a possibly more relatable manner&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="603" LastActivityDate="2011-04-23T08:54:15.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1045" CreationDate="2011-04-23T10:11:53.007" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know about Batman or X-Men specifically, but my very-nearly-4 year old &lt;em&gt;loves&lt;/em&gt; Spider-Man and really enjoys the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvel_Adventures_Spider-Man%20Marvel%20Adventure%20Spide-Man&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Marvel Adventures Spider-Man&lt;/a&gt; series.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvel_Adventures&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Marvel Adventures&lt;/a&gt; series is specifically aimed at younger audiences and also includes Avengers, Fantastic Four, Iron Man and Hulk titles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get hold of 'Digests' which collate the comics four issues at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="232" LastActivityDate="2011-04-23T10:11:53.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1045" CreationDate="2011-04-23T10:26:58.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son loves comics too, though I admit I got him started.  There are some early readers for both DC and Marvel, there is Marvel's Super Hero Squad that is a kids version of the Marvel Universe mostly centered on the Avengers but there are many other heroes and villains in it as well.  We got the I Can Read Series (the books come at Level 1-3) that has kid friendly versions of DC and Marvel as well as Owly, which is a graphic novel told entirely in pictures.  Owly helped me get him to look at pictures and try to find the story, he didn't like it at first but a year later I find the books all over the house.  Although my sons favorites are Iron Man and Spiderman I have had good luck finding age appropriate material for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Batman and X-men might be a little advanced for a four year old, though if you can find a story you like and spend time reading that can hardly be lost, though I always found the X-men to get more literal and not kid friendly.  I think DC and Marvel are making some versions of their titles more kid-centric to bring in young readers so you might be able to find something at a comic ship, and ask them what might be available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2011-04-23T12:42:06.667" LastActivityDate="2011-04-23T12:42:06.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="976" CreationDate="2011-04-24T00:10:24.383" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having 5 children, I've seen every manner of excuse for getting out of bed, and every sort of request to join mommy and daddy in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the exception of those times that the child in question is sick, I've found it very effective to give one warning/explanation (one per child, not one per night) that the child is to remain in bed until morning. On subsequent events, I would calmly and carefully spank the child, then hug the child, pray for the child, and put the child back in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the child understands that leaving the room will receive this response, he usually chooses to stay in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The potty issue adds a complication, and will require careful judgment. Often a solution is to tell the child that they will be spanked if they leave the room to potty, and fail to produce anything. (Obviously, I would have mercy if I'm convinced that this was merely a miscalculation in a newly potty-trained child.) And in any, a mid-night potty trip would never be rewarded by time in mommy and daddy's bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As in so many things, if the boundaries are clear, and the punishment is consistent, your children will behave as you want, and be happier for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="610" LastEditorUserId="610" LastEditDate="2011-04-26T20:58:32.887" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T20:58:32.887" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1050" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1059" CreationDate="2011-04-24T01:54:45.993" Score="12" ViewCount="2395" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two young children and I'm going though a divorce. My daughter is 5, and my Son is 2. &#xA;I'm worried because my son and daughters behaviors has gone down hill. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help them get though this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:57:10.243" LastActivityDate="2016-08-06T12:21:46.090" Title="What are some strategies for helping children cope with divorce?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1051" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1065" CreationDate="2011-04-24T02:21:52.093" Score="23" ViewCount="5551" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife just started reading &quot;Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother&quot;, a book written by a Chinese mother who talks about the pros and cons of the high-pressure and rigid parenting style of some Chinese parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In discussing the book with my wife, I started thinking about high-pressure vs. low-pressure parenting. One of the arguments for pressure are that children will often say they are not interested in something, or will be lazy about things such as practice and homework. I've experienced this first hand with all of my children. They are frequently reluctant to start learning something new, but after you force them to do it for a while, they get over the initial hurdles, then it gets easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But how much pressure is too much, and how little pressure is too little? What differentiates consistency from pressure?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, how do we decide what educational areas should have more pressure than others? Obviously if a child says that they don't feel like learning how to read or how to do math, because they don't want to do homework, you have to follow through and make them do it. Anything else would be irresponsible, because those are mandatory curriculum for any legitimate school. But what if the child makes the same excuse with learning piano. Is it equally as irresponsible to let them quit playing piano because they don't want to practice? Arguably, if your child grows up to be a professional musician, the music lessons are much more important to his/her education than math was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize much of this could be subjective, so &lt;strong&gt;I'd prefer answers that have some sort of statistics or studies backing them&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T23:05:02.513" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T23:05:02.513" Title="How much pressure should I put on my kids to learn?" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1052" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1055" CreationDate="2011-04-24T03:58:31.560" Score="10" ViewCount="19234" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician said that some doctors say to leave the umbilical cord stump alone but he likes to suggest using a cotton swab with alcohol to wipe the perimeter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am fine with just leaving it be so long as it stays clean and dry. Do you think he suggested that solely for cleanliness or does the drying effect of alcohol help it move along to fall off? What did you do for your newborn?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2013-10-13T18:51:51.470" LastActivityDate="2018-09-13T16:42:42.927" Title="Should I clean my newborn's umbilical cord stump or leave it be?" Tags="|newborn|hygiene|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1053" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2171" CreationDate="2011-04-24T04:02:31.603" Score="9" ViewCount="19518" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know a 7-year-old who will hug anyone, including complete strangers, is friendly, doesn't seem to quite get social cues that others his age would. This kid is very smart, essentially doing work a grade more advanced than he should be, and he's doing great at it. It seems to me to be something I've heard of, but I can't quite put a name, it's on the tip of my tongue... What disorder is this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-02T15:13:28.320" LastActivityDate="2018-11-02T15:13:28.320" Title="What disorder is associated with social awkwardness, hugging, intelligence, and difficulty focusing?" Tags="|primary-schooler|health|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2018-01-24T01:40:04.493" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-04-24T04:28:42.740" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our experience as first-time parents was: it's a bad idea to buy a lot of stuff up-front at all, and when you do buy, it's probably best to always buy the moderately-priced version first and only upgrade if you discover you have to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue is that parents and kids are different. Some things that other parents say their child loved, our child would have nothing to do with. (And vice versa.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example our son has never had the remotest interest in a pacifier, so we have some of those still in shrink wrap. Or for baby blankets, only a certain kind (thin cotton muslin) would hold him in a swaddle, and the other kinds were worthless. We went through a couple different sling/carrier contraptions that he wouldn't tolerate. Various kinds of bottle. Co-sleeper. On and on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Buying anything baby-related is hit-or-miss because it depends so much on your specific child.&lt;/strong&gt; Other people's experiences only go so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making it worse, it's tough to even predict your own habits and what will work for you post-baby. Some cherished routines today are probably going to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Strollers are no exception.&lt;/strong&gt; We got a moderately-priced one, and we just don't use it that much, so it's held up well. But we didn't know in advance that we wouldn't use it that much. We also didn't know that our child would be happy to sit in it, though he is, thankfully. But I'm sure if we'd bought the super-expensive stroller, we'd have the child who hates strollers with a passion. ;-) It's just inevitable!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another stroller-specific point, I don't think one needs a stroller for a newborn. Newborns are not very heavy, and you can just carry them, or carry their car seat, or get one of the many solutions for strapping them to yourself. A stroller is more for at least a few months down the road. Our experience anyway. So it's easy to buy the stroller later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty sure that if you get the moderately-priced version of everything (and buy everything &quot;on demand&quot; and as late as possible), you'll save enough money that you can re-buy the most expensive version of the one thing it turns out you should have splurged on. If that's the stroller, so be it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're missing something, you can (and will) run to the store and pick it up. If it's not an emergency, the Internet is happy to deliver any product to your door in two days. No need to &quot;be prepared&quot; beyond the barest basics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="611" LastActivityDate="2011-04-24T04:28:42.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1052" CreationDate="2011-04-24T06:25:12.617" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're essentially asking for medical advice online. Use common sense and be critical of what you read.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Always follow your pediatrician's advice rather than what you read online. If you feel you're not confident with his advice, ask another pediatrician.&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, here's what we were told (in 2009):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stump will dry out and fall off within a few days. Keep it clean (using water and if necessary cotton swabs), and keep it dry (using cosmetic pads to gently wipe the surrounding area, then put baby powder on the stump. No oils or alcohols are needed (but you might have received different advice!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're probably right that alcohol dries it faster, but I don't see a reason for doing that. Let nature do it's thing; it's not dangerous and the child has no nerves there so it can't hurt him in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-24T06:25:12.617" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1052" CreationDate="2011-04-24T12:23:21.203" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In March of this year when our little girl was born we've been told to clean gently with 70% alcohol, which we did (a few times a week, not everyday). It took 2 weeks to fall.&#xA;Doctors advise 70% alcohol because this is still a bleeding open wound and it should be cleaned appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="repecmps" LastActivityDate="2011-04-24T12:23:21.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1045" CreationDate="2011-04-24T18:22:01.973" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a great question!.As I am a comic book geek and my 5 year old son has been into Marvel's Superhero Squad series since he was 4. Its good to watch, and they provide kid-friendly books. &lt;br/&gt;&#xA;DC also has &quot;geared for children&quot; Batman books.&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;As far as the classic comic book format which, in many cases, is largely graphics based, but has condensed text in speech bubbles, I have found that my son finds it hard to follow the story, and gets bored. I haven't found a good &quot;comic-book&quot; format for my son, which has high graphics panel-based content, with a simple enough, slow-enough paced format, so just stay with the single story, low text-per page books that are geared for his age-group and you will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Aside:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;One thing to be aware of is the presence of hitting and smashing, which little boys of that age are prone to acting out. I told my son, from very early on, that what happens in the comic book, stays in the comic book, and if you want to act out a scene, you do &quot;pretend hitting&quot;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;The Series of books I was talking about above is called &lt;strong&gt;DC Super Friends&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0375852085&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; is an example of it I found on amazon. But if you google for DC Super Friends you should find tons. The graphics are kid friendly and the stories are simple and enjoyable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="216" LastEditorUserId="216" LastEditDate="2011-04-25T15:14:59.527" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T15:14:59.527" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1050" CreationDate="2011-04-24T19:37:52.670" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Other than repeating that you love them and try to spend as much time as you can with them, there is unfortunately not much you can do in my opinion.  When my parents got divorced, my brother and I were roughly the same ages you are dealing with, he understood more of what was going on than I did.  My brother acted out more, thinking in some way it was his fault or that our parents would get together again, neither was true and that festered for a long time until his teenage years when he had a huge fight with our Mom and went to live with Dad.  There was a lot of trash talking about Mom and mother's side of the family, which made things difficult with my brother later on.  There are more resources nowadays, like counseling and therapists, who can help get things out so kids don't hold onto emotions so that may be option to help the kids out.  Still if this is at least as an amicable parting then you can mitigate some of the worst effects, if neither you or your wife trash each other in front of the kids or fight in front of them then you can try to show them as normal a life as you can with the new situation.  Remember to tell them you both still love them, they may not understand now but they may later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry to hear about the situation, divorce is never easy and its more difficult with kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-24T19:37:52.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1053" CreationDate="2011-04-24T20:13:38.180" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds very much like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism.org.uk/About-autism/Autism-and-Asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/What-is-Asperger-syndrome.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Asperger syndrome&lt;/a&gt; - an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism.org.uk/About-autism/Autism-and-Asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/What-is-Autism.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;autism spectrum disorder&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T11:28:52.430" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T11:28:52.430" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1053" CreationDate="2011-04-25T00:18:26.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based off the information given, it wouldn't be difficult to associate these characteristics to several disorders (please forgive me for not listing them here). Is it possible there is no disorder involved? Sounds like a wonderful child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="614" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T00:18:26.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="934" CreationDate="2011-04-25T02:07:03.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got a little kiddie pool and partially inflated it to provide some padding in the bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="519" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T02:07:03.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1053" CreationDate="2011-04-25T03:46:43.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The hugging of strangers reminds me of Williams  Syndrome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="615" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T03:46:43.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1051" CreationDate="2011-04-25T08:38:54.167" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is an analog here, I think in focusing on &lt;em&gt;anxiety to achieve specific external goals&lt;/em&gt; -- a high test score, a high GPA, a high SAT score, admittance to a prestigious university, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pressure might (or might not..) make children anxious in working towards these goals. How would that anxiety affect them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;155 3rd and 4th graders were divided into low test-anxious (LTA), middle test-anxious (MTA), or high test-anxious (HTA) groups on the basis of scores on the Test Anxiety Scale for Children. Students were then tested in small groups on age-appropriate arithmetic problems either under time pressure typical of current achievement testing or under no time pressure. HTA boys displayed poor performance under time pressure compared to their less anxious peers yet improved significantly when time pressure was removed, with HTA and MTA boys matching the performance of LTA boys. LTA boys and HTA girls performed better under time pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=buy.optionToBuy&amp;amp;id=1986-13012-001&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Children's achievement strategies and test performance: The role of time pressure, evaluation anxiety, and sex&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So as expected, anxiety generally has a negative effect on performance. But there's a huge divide in sex, at least in this study! High test anxiety girls performed &lt;em&gt;better&lt;/em&gt; under time pressure, whereas HTA boys did not. And what determines whether a child has low, medium or high anxiety toward a test? Certainly parental pressure would tend to make them more anxious overall, but what if the child has a naturally relaxed personality?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So already you can see the old adage being borne out, &lt;em&gt;every child is different&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the parents, perhaps the balance between internal (intrinsic) and external motivation is something to consider. There are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2010/06/the-vast-and-endless-sea.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;tons of studies&lt;/a&gt; that document how dangerous it is for adults to focus on extrinsic goals; pursuing such goals often actively harms the much more powerful intrinsic motivations that drive people to succeed in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When asked to write down their definitions of academic success, 56 percent of all parents' definitions included external standards like the following: performance beyond one's peers or attainment of socially recognized achievements such as college admission and employment in a high-status job. Emphasis on external standards may have its advantages, such as encouraging students to demonstrate high performance in school because it can lead to good grades and test scores, future college admission, and eventually employment in a prominent career. However, excessive or exclusive focus on these external indicators can pressure children, sending the message that academic success is important, not for personal reasons, but to please others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although many of the parents evaluated academic success by external standards, one-half of this group simultaneously emphasized internal standards. In other words, they also defined academic success as relative to the individual: enjoyment, setting and attaining personal goals, motivation, working toward one's potential, being curious and inquisitive, and trying one's best. &lt;strong&gt;By emphasizing both internal and external standards of success, parents convey to their children that outstanding performance is important to success, but personal satisfaction and trying one's best are also important -- a balance that should help to alleviate feelings of pressure.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://cty.jhu.edu/research/topical/pressure.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parents' Values and Children's Perceived Pressure: Topical Research Series #4&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T12:48:46.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1051" CreationDate="2011-04-25T09:11:40.487" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Your daughter isn't sick; she's a dancer.&quot; (TED Talk by Ken Robinson: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Do schools kill creativity?&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, kids needs a good general education, but nurturing who they really are and the creative paths they gravitate to on their own may be the greatest gift a parent can give.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="621" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-16T12:50:40.367" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T12:50:40.367" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1067" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-25T09:22:36.443" Score="13" ViewCount="46027" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2.3yrs. Right now we keep reading books for him. He pays attention only for some time. We also keep teaching letters and numbers during his bed time or during his bath. When asked he repeats most of them with similar modulation. But, when he wants to convey something he uses only words and some expressions. He doesn't try sentences yet. What is the best way to make him start at least mumbling sentences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing, I heard alot about Montessori type of teaching for kids. Are there any techniques or tools available so that we can use those at home? We are planning to put in a play school not exactly Monetessori based but something similar they say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any pointers/links for best practices for teaching kids will be of great help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="620" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-06T13:52:59.150" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T04:10:35.517" Title="How do I teach my child to speak in sentences?" Tags="|toddler|education|teaching|language-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="968" CreationDate="2011-04-25T09:36:46.853" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son wants to participate in most of the household things&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;watering plants&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cleaning some mess&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;taking out cups and dropping in sink&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brings any small objects when we ask for like remote, paper, Books, phone etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="620" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T09:36:46.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1067" CreationDate="2011-04-25T09:54:10.293" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori_method&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Montessori&lt;/a&gt; is a method of teaching.  Like all teaching methods, you have good teachers and bad teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From Wikipedia:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Although the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori_method&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Montessori&lt;/a&gt; name is&#xA;  recognized by many, it is not a&#xA;  trademark, and it is associated with&#xA;  more than one organization. Schools&#xA;  and teacher training programs can&#xA;  differ in their interpretation,&#xA;  intensity, practical application, and&#xA;  philosophy in using this method with&#xA;  children&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the Montessori method is fantastic (my son is 21 months) but that is just something you'll need to follow up on your own.  For what it's worth, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waldorf_education&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Steiner&lt;/a&gt; (or Waldorf education) is an alternative method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding your son (not) mumbling sentences, your traditional teacher will ask questions like &quot;does he understand you&quot; etc. to rule out learning difficulties or something like Autism.  After that, they will say he will figure it out in his own time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are doing the right thing, my only suggestion is to be patient and go to a Montessori open day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="622" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T09:54:10.293" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="388" CreationDate="2011-04-25T13:04:11.383" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;How many hours do you sleep. 8 hours is normal in most cultures. During the early years a lot of tiresome activies take place that simply ask for more sleep. During the pregnancy I slept a whole lot more wich was great once the little kid was born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T13:04:11.383" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="388" CreationDate="2011-04-25T14:24:59.037" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;in my personal experience, I wound up spending a lot more time at home while my wife was pregnant, and I also slept a lot more. for me, the answer was simple, and I think distinct from sympathetic pregnancy: we live in NYC and lead a very active social life. while she was pregnant, we didn't have as many activities, so I would fall asleep watching TV or reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="356" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T14:24:59.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1052" CreationDate="2011-04-25T17:02:29.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were told to just use soap and water when giving the baby a bath. The stump shouldn't bleed and it falls off really soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="631" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T17:02:29.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1043" CreationDate="2011-04-25T17:07:51.470" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little one is only 1 year old and so doesn't do structured activities well, but when this situation arises I try to find a similar substitute for him so that his older sister can do her thing. For example, if she is painting he might be colouring with crayons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="631" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T17:07:51.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1027" CreationDate="2011-04-25T17:21:54.127" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brainrules.net/brain-rules-for-baby&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Brain Rules for Baby&lt;/a&gt;. The author stresses empathy and labeling emotions: try to understand the child's feelings and tell them. For example, saying &quot;I understand that you want to play with the toy and you don't want your brother to play with it. You are &lt;em&gt;jealous&lt;/em&gt;.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;+1 for positive reinforcement. If you don't want them to do something, &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; forget to reward them for the &lt;em&gt;absence&lt;/em&gt; of the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, +1 for consistency. Have a set of rules and do not relax on them. Giving a freedom and then having to take it away later will cause a fierce backlash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="632" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T17:21:54.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1075" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1083" CreationDate="2011-04-25T17:35:39.167" Score="11" ViewCount="14036" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13 yr old daughter has a cavity.  They plan on giving local anesthesia, with an option for laughing gas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I had teeth filled, I never recall getting laughing gas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like for her to learn the consequences of inadequate hygiene. And also want to avoid her becoming acquainted with a drug that is prone to abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would it be cruel for me to refuse the laughing gas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A big thanks to all of you who responded.  I will shell out the extra $25 for the NO2. I will try to find a way to make this a lesson rather than a treat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The tooth fairy teaches children that&#xA;  they can sell body parts for money. - David Richerby&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="633" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:07:31.373" LastActivityDate="2020-03-01T09:23:01.250" Title="Is it cruel to deny laughing gas for a teen getting a tooth filled?" Tags="|health|teen|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-04-25T18:53:11.047" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 39, I was never was exposed to laughing gas. I always got the novocain shot. My son (8 yo) however, had to have his tooth removed and when the doctor offered laughing gas as he was afraid of the big needle. I didn't hesitate. The procedure went fine and my son didn't feel pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see him ASKING for laughing gas nor does he &quot;volunteer&quot; to go to the dentist, so it's not like this laughing gas made an instant junkie out of him. And besides, how can kids abuse laughing gas? it's not like they can buy it at Walgreens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Educate your child about drugs, but don't make them feel guilty for asking their doctors to feel less pain. Medications have a purpose. Categorically denying them when they're needed is cruel, yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T18:53:11.047" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1077" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-25T18:55:51.673" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The Education tag refers to anything related to teaching, whether it is classroom learning, homeschooling, social skills/manners, or helping a child pursue a particular topic that is of interest to them. It covers everything directly related to the process of learning, both formal and informal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T13:46:45.450" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T13:46:45.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1078" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-25T18:55:51.673" Score="0" Body="Everything directly related to the process of learning; both formal and informal education." OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T13:46:45.450" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T13:46:45.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1079" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1081" CreationDate="2011-04-25T18:59:25.237" Score="2" ViewCount="1573" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had taken our children to the doctor (2.5 years old and 6.5 months old) and the doctor (not their regular doctor) had mentioned to not use the warm air humidifier because of new research seems to indicate that it can cause problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I can't actually find anything online that supports this.  Short of going back to see their actual pediatrician, has anyone heard or know of this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="634" LastActivityDate="2015-11-26T08:47:44.717" Title="Can warm air humidifiers be bad for a child's cough?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-04-25T19:03:14.860" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that depends in part upon how your daughter reacts to pain.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People tend to have different levels of tolerance for pain.  Some handle it better, and other worse.  The laughing gas is likely optional due to people's varying capabilities of pain tolerance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter falls into the &quot;sensitive to pain&quot; spectrum, then yes, denying her additional pain alleviation just to &quot;teach her a lesson&quot; would be pretty cruel, imo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if your daughter handles pain pretty well, you should still consider leaving it up to her if she wants the laughing gas.  Explain to her the negative effects (poor coordination, inability to make good decisions, possibly embarrassing behavior, etc..), and let her make an educated decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think being subjected to having to sit through a tooth filling procedure, with its attendant sounds (drill on bone), smells (burning bone and enamel), and discomfort (mouth propped open with a vacuum tube sucking out your saliva) is more than enough of a lesson on the consequences of inadequate hygiene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for not wanting to expose her a drug that is &quot;prone to abuse&quot;, I think you may be being a bit overly sensitive here.  Yes, N2O is abused by people, however, denying her a legitimate medical use of it is probably not going to send the message you intend.  You are better off engaging her in active dialog about the harmful potential of abuse (most notably brain damage or death).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-04-25T19:53:35.450" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T19:53:35.450" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1079" CreationDate="2011-04-25T19:15:22.330" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have a humidifier but over the time I've read about following issues with humidifiers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bacteria growth &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The danger of burns from steam vaporizer. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;White dust from minerals in the water&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found one resource which talks about it in more details: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aerias.org/desktopmodules/articledetail.aspx?articleid=99#humidifier-hazards&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.aerias.org/desktopmodules/articledetail.aspx?articleid=99#humidifier-hazards&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-16T18:52:15.973" LastActivityDate="2011-05-16T18:52:15.973" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="415" CreationDate="2011-04-25T19:32:51.510" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My dog was technically still a puppy when we had our son, he was 10 months old, but I made sure before baby came that he was familiar with his room and his stuff, he is a hound so sniffing is what he lives for, so we let him sniff everything.  Since I was the one with him all day, I was also worried that he may react to not see me for a couple of days, so first I send my husband a day before with a hospital blanket that belong to the baby, that was for the dog to keep.  When I came home, I had my husband wait outside with the baby and went in by myself, I said hello to him and pet him, gave him all my attention. Then we brought the baby in the car seat, we let him sniff a little and get used to him. Our dog was mostly intrigued by the baby noises and cries, but he adjusted very well.  I should also add that we had him on a training class before baby was born to teach basic commands (specially the leave it and drop it) I believe the key is to not change what we used to do with him, we still walk him twice a day rain or shine, take him to the dog park, playdates with other dogs, pet him a lot. He actually is excited to see when we put the baby on a carrier because he knows we are going on a walk and he loves his walks.  My son is 5 months now and We are also teaching our dog to be gentle with baby now that he is starting to grab him, although it seems he already knows that, we have our baby hold a treat and the dog take it very gentle licking it away, we feels this way he understands baby is another master and part of the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="637" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T19:32:51.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-04-25T22:36:52.057" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;At around the same age as your daughter, I was sent to a bad dentist who wouldn't believe me that the novacaine hadn't take effect, that I was in pain, in terrible distress, et cetera.  For the next ten years I dealt with terrible dental phobia, to the point that I couldn't smile at myself in a mirror because I'd see my teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Naturally, then, I'm in favor of anything that makes dental treatment more bearable.  In fact, it wasn't until my teeth were literally rotting away that I found a dentist who also used laughing gas, which helped blunt the terror enough that I could sit still in the chair, and eventually helped me overcome my fears entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On my last dental visit, I was chatting with my dentist, who mentioned that they see many fewer cases of dental fear these days -- kids have grown up with faster drills and better anesthesia, not to mention better dental hygiene -- so dentists are seeing fewer problems, especially of people who put off treatment because of fear, which usually makes the problem worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... unless you'd rather risk your daughter developing a phobia about dental treatment that could stay with her most of her life, I'd say don't withhold a beneficent support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience with dental nitrous is according to my dentists, textbook classic.  For me, it actually doesn't blunt the pain that much, but makes the FEAR reaction to the pain transient.  More like &quot;OWWWWW!... huh, that was intense.  I wonder what he's doing next?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I submit you can learn just as much from that experience, with less trauma, than with a painful, horrible, possibly agonizing session.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="640" LastActivityDate="2011-04-25T22:36:52.057" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-04-26T03:57:32.373" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to classify a procedure without laughing gas as a &quot;consequence&quot; of poor hygiene when obviously the choice is up to you.  If you decide for it to be a consequence, it will be a parental-imposed one rather than a natural one, and your daughter will consider it as such.  Not that I'm against parental-imposed consequences in and of themselves, but something like working off the copay might be a better choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the potential for abuse, kids need to learn things like that are okay in moderation under controlled circumstances.  Otherwise, she is going to wonder why some authority figures think it's okay and some don't and try to figure it out on her own.  I would sit her down and explain your concerns.  I would talk about the training and failsafe equipment dentists have to keep her safe and contrast that with the dangers of recreational use.  I would tell her you trust her to be able to tell the difference between good uses of drugs and abuse, so you're leaving the decision to her.  Whatever her decision, I would reinforce the responsible, mature reasoning she used to arrive at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's probably already experiencing a fair amount of pain, and opportunities like this don't come around very often (hopefully).  Also, the timing couldn't be more perfect.  After all, if she hasn't already, she will be forced to make decisions about recreational drugs without your guidance very soon.  I think the fact that you trusted her to make a responsible decision about drugs would stick with her a lot longer than some momentary discomfort.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T03:57:32.373" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-04-26T04:34:19.483" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is cruel to subject a child to unnecessary pain because you are afraid that she might, at some later point, abuse a &lt;em&gt;relatively&lt;/em&gt; benign and non-habit-forming substance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, anything associated with having a tooth drilled is unlikely to be considered fun and interesting. Second, if she's offered N2O at some later point (and she &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; will be), she's no less likely to try it if you make a big deal about it now than she would be if you treat it as a totally normal part of the dentists visit. After all, there's no better way to pique a teenagers curiosity than to forbid her to use it. Third, even if she does suck on a few whip cream cans as she goes through life, this doesn't mean that she is going to end up on the streets selling her body for whip-its. Fourth, if you make her go through a lot of pain that she &lt;em&gt;knows&lt;/em&gt; she wouldn't be going through if she just had that magic N20, you're going to make it way, way more attractive to her... after all, you're exposing her to the negative consequences of &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; getting high on nitrous, which is probably exactly the opposite of what you want to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; want is for her to think that N20 is a dangerous and weird substance, because you &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; want her to think that the consequences of use are similar to the consequences of, say, huffing paint. You want her to realize that some things are safe when used as directed by a medical professional, and some things will turn her brain into pudding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also consider the very real possibility that she or people she knows have already experimented with Nitrous (after all, it isn't hard to get), and that you turning supervised medical use into a great big deal is really just a way to convince her that you have absolutely no idea what the heck you're talking about when it comes to drugs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T04:34:19.483" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1045" CreationDate="2011-04-26T05:08:26.177" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scholastic.com/bone/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;page&lt;/a&gt; on Scholastic oriented towards this, with a number of links. Darkhorse has released a number of classic children's comics such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.darkhorse.com/Reviews/752/Herbie-Archives&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Herbie&lt;/a&gt;. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://newbrightonsociety.com/plete/about/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;New Brighton Archeological Society&lt;/a&gt; looks good, if dark. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T05:08:26.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1087" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-26T06:02:24.277" Score="17" ViewCount="13098" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've all lost our cool at one point or another. We all know its terrible to raise your voice at your kids, but every once in a while we slip. I've occasionally raised my voice to my teenager and to my younger kids (5.5 and 3.5 year old). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; occasional thing that usually happens when the kids are misbehaving and I've lost my patience. I usually just separate myself for a few minutes to calm down, then briefly apologize by saying &quot;I'm sorry I raised my voice at you&quot;, and move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this good enough? Is there a better way to handle this situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-04T08:33:45.900" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T04:31:11.227" Title="What should you do after you've raised your voice at your child?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|conflict|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1087" CreationDate="2011-04-26T07:25:38.953" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;So far, with my 3.5 year old, I've attempted to complete that apology with an explanation of why I lost my temper with him. Like &quot;when I tell you not to play with that, it's because I don't want you to get hurt, it's a very dangerous tool. When you repeatedly ignore me and play with it anyway, it hurts daddy's feelings that you're not listening to me trying to help you stay safe.&quot; Since he's 3.5 it really doesn't mean much to him yet... but I'm trying to get MY head into place to do that so that when he is old enough to understand I'll still be doing it and he'll understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T07:25:38.953" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1027" CreationDate="2011-04-26T07:40:01.993" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you say &quot;explaining&quot;... are you 100% positive he's paying attention? With my 3.5yo it makes a world of difference to walk across the room, pick him up and look him in the eye, nose to nose and run through the explanation. (and before anyone freaks out about man-handling him around, I'm talking the same kind of pick up you would do if he fell down and was crying for mommy/daddy... the point here is to get his attention fully on you.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's squirming to get down and back to playing and not paying attention, I just tell him I need to talk to him, and I need him to pay attention, then he can go back to playing. Usually after repeating that once or twice he gets the hint and looks me in the eye and listens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a couple cases I've even had to take him out of the room/away from the distraction of whatever he was playing with to get him looking and listening to me. If even that can't calm him down long enough to listen to daddy... well... then playtime is over. Time to go do something else. (usually leave the play-space or park and go home, or it's nap time, amazing how that works out.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T07:40:01.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1090" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1118" CreationDate="2011-04-26T10:56:18.637" Score="61" ViewCount="7583" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since a few weeks my 2yo son refuses to pray for his food. His refusal probably has nothing to do with religion; being a 2yo he simply refuses to do anything we don't force him to. Nevertheless, this made us ask, should we force him to pray? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are both Christian, so it would stand to reason that we'd raise our son to be Christian as well. However, I don't want to impair his ability to make religious decisions by forcing my views on him. On the other hand, I can't raise him to be an atheist; firstly because I don't hold those views, and also, because that would be no different from raising him to be a Christian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's a good way to balance personal religious views and freedom of choice for a child? Should we force him to pray for his food, or at nighttime? Should we pray for him when he's present? Should we take him to church, once he's old enough to stay at home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;P.S. I am aware religion is a very sensitive topic, with strong regional and cultural differences. Please be respectful and per the FAQ: don't provide generalized answers without the proper backing.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="613" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:14:37.100" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T14:36:15.100" Title="How do you teach a child religious views?" Tags="|teaching|religion|" AnswerCount="17" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1087" CreationDate="2011-04-26T11:04:52.963" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was raised in a situation where there was no follow-up after one of my parent lost their temper. Because of this, I was never taught to apologize for losing mine. This is a very hard thing to learn when you're older...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I lose my cool towards my 2yo son, I try to apologize and explain (not justify) my response. When he loses his cool, I ask him to do the same. I think this symmetry is a healthy way of showing that no-one is perfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="613" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T11:04:52.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-26T12:04:38.990" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe see why he refuses, although at 2 I doubt you'd get a rational answer.  I believe in giving my kids freedom to choose, though mine are Buddhist due to my wife's beliefs.  We do say a prayer before eating but its not forced.  My view is if the kids see what we do, and they like it, they will follow.  Add some stories about Jesus and Biblical tales to give them some background and instruction, we do the same with Buddhist stories and my son likes some of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age he is probably just trying to assert himself and this is one way to do it, if you raise him in the atmosphere that promotes what you like, and show your love they will either follow you or find their own path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T12:04:38.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-26T12:05:23.293" Score="37" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the best approach is to lead by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forcing a child to do something they don't want to, without making sure they understand why, runs the risk of fostering resentment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you and your wife consistently pray before meals, eventually he will start to feel left out and want to participate.  Don't force him to pray, but tell him he has to wait until you are done before he can eat.  Delay putting his meal in front of him if you have to.  Once you think he is old enough, you can also offer to let him lead the prayer, if you are comfortable with that.  This may help him feel like it is something he wants to do, because most children like the idea of helping and participating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T12:05:23.293" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1043" CreationDate="2011-04-26T12:08:31.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crafts can often be done on two levels: one kid working on a different project than the other kid. That way, both children can have a reasonably challenging project. This can also help when the older kid wants to play with an 'older' toy: have one kid work on a project which challenges him, which the other would find boring; that way they will both be focusses on their own activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, children understand the concept of different activities remarkably well. Also, it is a very good preparation for adult life, where different projects are the rule rather than the exception.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another trick which helps us, is having an L-shaped room: one kid can't see the other, while you can see (and supervise) both of them. Having music on may help reduce distractions caused by the sounds from the other child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="613" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T12:08:31.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1050" CreationDate="2011-04-26T12:27:25.780" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having lived through my parents' divorce when I was 2-3 years old, there are definitely some things you can do to minimize the impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; fight with your former spouse in front of them.  Seeing divorced parents fight is very upsetting to children.  If you and your former spouse can agree on anything, agree to keep your conflicts away from the children, for the children's sake.  If your former spouse can't abide by that, you'll just have to be the bigger person and walk away from any confrontation in front of the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other key thing to avoid is putting them in the middle.  Don't say anything negative about your former spouse to the children, and don't tolerate the children saying anything negative that you wouldn't have found acceptable before your relationship with your spouse deteriorated.  If they do, tell them that even though you aren't married anymore, you are both still their mother and father, and that you both deserve the respect a mother and father are due.  No matter how frustrated you get, don't complain about your former spouse's behavior, personality, faults, etc. to your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, make sure that both of you repeatedly reassure your children that even though mommy and daddy may not love each other, they both still love their children very much, and they both want what is best for their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-04-27T11:26:10.143" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T11:26:10.143" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-26T13:22:33.883" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a freethinker I can see the relevance of your question, and I applaud you for raising the topic and asking the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly I would like to comment that I can not see the sense of forcing your child to pray when he is in no way capable yet of understanding the meaning of this ritual. The only way I see you can convey to your child the importance you find in prayer is by providing the example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second, more general part of your question: &quot;What's a good way to balance personal religious views and freedom of choice for a child?&quot; I think it is practically impossible to raise a child without (partly) imposing your own religious views on him. But what you can do is to try to expose your child to as many different opinions and views possible. Of course this is a delicate process, because as a parent it can be extremely difficult not to be opinionated or prejudiced about what others think when they think things you do not. It takes effort but it will teach your child how to respectfully deal with other opinions and it will show him how you will react when he will have opinions that differ from yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, if you really want to respect the freedom of choice of your child, the most important thing is to convey the message that he is free to form his own opinion and to make it clear to him that altough you will not share his views when they differ from your own, you will love and respect him all the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-04-26T13:33:00.047" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T13:33:00.047" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1052" CreationDate="2011-04-26T14:35:11.813" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used what was advised by the pediatrician: &lt;code&gt;Chlorophyllin&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;Viridis nitentis&lt;/code&gt; (both as alcoholic solutions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stump fell off in 15 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="649" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T14:35:11.813" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-26T15:47:18.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry for being so synthetic, but I think when it comes to give some &quot;spiritual&quot; education, you should just &quot;open the door, and show&quot;. Never force. Just grow him giving good advice, respect towards the others and himself, teaching him how to develop, &lt;strong&gt;on his own&lt;/strong&gt;, a sort of identity that includes, but it's not limited to, religious and spiritual feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll be smart enough to find something that fits his spiritual needs. Sometimes, to make things go the right way (in this case, having a sensible and careful son that grew up like you meant to), the key is not to think too much, and just avoid giving bad advice (that will develop bad habits). And everything will turn good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I end quoting Beofet's answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you and your wife consistently pray before meals, eventually he will start to feel left out and want to participate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="654" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T15:47:18.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-26T15:50:10.797" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have said, I'd discourage &lt;em&gt;forcing&lt;/em&gt; him to pray. First, it sets the wrong message and could lead to resentment of the religion, since that is an easier view to hold in a child's brain than resentment of the parent. Second, requiring someone to pray (or not to pray) before a meal is not a very accurate model of how the world works. There will be times in his life when he dines with people who do pray and other times when he dines with those who do not. He should learn that when dining with those who pray it is polite to sit quietly and wait until they are done before beginning your meal. Conversely, if you pray before meals but are dining with those who do not, it is polite to bow your head and quietly say your prayer and do so expediently without drawing attention to yourself or making others feel uncomfortable for not partaking in your practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the better way to word this question is, &quot;How can we encourage our child to pray before meals, at nighttime, etc.?&quot; Some thoughts that come immediately to mind are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lead by example.&lt;/strong&gt; If your son sees you and your wife praying before every meal and before going to bed and before putting him to bed he will likely start to follow suit. Humans are social animals and young children are adept at observing and mimicking the behavior of siblings and their caregivers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make praying a more social/family-focused event.&lt;/strong&gt; I don't know how your family prays before meals, but when I was growing up my family would pray but it would involve everyone holding hands. My parents didn't force us kids to say the prayer, but we were expected to hold hands with those next to us and that was a pre-condition to eating (just like waiting until everyone is seated and ready is a pre-condition to eating in polite company).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give your son greater opportunity to participate.&lt;/strong&gt; Could you let your son lead the family in prayer one or two nights a week? I know he's only 2 at this time so this may not be too feasible, but would become more of an option in the years ahead. For the nighttime prayer, maybe this could involve talking a bit about his day with him in hushed tones as you kneel next to the bed. Ask him what he did and what he enjoyed best about his day and then focus on giving thanks to Jesus or God (or however your family prays) for the happy day and for the blessing to get to enjoy it with friends and family, etc., etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding Church, I don't think it's impractical to require your son to attend, presuming we're talking about one or two days a week for a couple hours at a time. Moreover, it's not too much to expect that during that time he'll behave and be respectful of others. A young child does not want to go to Church because he'd rather sleep in or play outside or whatnot. But when he ages, his reasons for not wanting to go to Church may become more adult - there may be social issues with his peers at Church, or he may have trouble with some of the religious beliefs being taught. In any event, I think that as a child ages and enters puberty one can still expect him to attend services, but that there would need to be open communication between you and him and that you'd need to make him feel validated and respected in his views, even if they differ from yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T15:50:10.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1100" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-26T15:54:28.673" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This age specific tag covers questions about kids after they start school, for the first few years, so say from about 5 years of age to about 8 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any age specific tag, the edges are fuzzy between this and the previous and following tags: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/pre-schooler&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;pre-schooler&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;pre-schooler&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/middle-childhood&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;middle-childhood&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;middle-childhood&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not much of a rule of thumb for this one: when they start school then you're ready to move up to primary-schooler, until they have been at it for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="16243" LastEditDate="2015-05-17T21:06:18.230" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T21:06:18.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1101" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-26T15:54:28.673" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from about 5 years to about 8 years.  Younger: pre-schooler.  Older: middle-childhood." OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="16243" LastEditDate="2015-05-17T21:06:29.870" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T21:06:29.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:01:54.013" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Distill the problem down to its essence: You wish to instill your values into your child.  (Actually, other than keeping them alive, this is the fundamental problem of parenting.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you must determine what those values are.  Are your values praying before a meal? Or is it a meaningful Christian experience, which includes the doctrine of forgiveness of sin and grace through Jesus Christ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praying at that age is nothing more than a ritual.  What you need to concentrate on is the concept of &quot;communication with God&quot;.  Don't formalize or ritualize it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I would suggest staying away from the &quot;sinful nature of man&quot; doctrine until he is much older. (i.e. Reached the biblical &quot;age of understanding&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the difference between God and the Tooth Fairy is not understandable at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="655" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T16:01:54.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1103" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:08:26.720" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This age specific tag covers questions about kids after they have been in school for a while, until they start to turn into teens, so say from about 8 years of age to about 11 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any age specific tag, the edges are fuzzy between this and the previous and following tags: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/primary-schooler&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'primary-schooler'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;primary-schooler&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/pre-teen&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'pre-teen'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;pre-teen&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rule of thumb: once they move up to the second round of schooling then you're ready to move up to middle-schooler, until they start to turn into teenagers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:29:28.917" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:29:28.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1104" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:08:26.720" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from about 8 years to about 11 years. Younger: primary-schooler. Older: pre-teen." OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:29:34.767" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:29:34.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1105" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:20:05.833" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This age-specific tag covers questions about kids after they turn into teens, but before they reach adulthood -- from 13 years to 19 years of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Related tags: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/pre-teen&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'pre-teen'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;pre-teen&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/adult-child&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'adult-child'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;adult-child&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2015-01-03T06:12:37.753" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T06:12:37.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1106" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:20:05.833" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from about 13 years to about 19 years.  Younger: pre-teen.  Older: adult-child." OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:30:39.617" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:30:39.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1053" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:20:56.787" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could easily be describing my daughter.  She is now 13, and last year was diagnosed with Aspergers.  There is a really great blog run by a father that has Aspergers, and has two children with the disorder. &lt;a href=&quot;http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/2009/04/human-side-of-aspergers-diagnosis-part.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/2009/04/human-side-of-aspergers-diagnosis-part.html&lt;/a&gt; The blog is well written and well worth the read. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take the time to learn about the disorder, it will help considerably. Not all Aspergers (aspies) present with the same conditions.  With me, my daughter's desire to hug everything in sight threw me, it seems contrary to the stereotypical view of the anti-social aspie.  There are some very positive things about having a aspie child, but there are challanges.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="321" LastEditorUserId="321" LastEditDate="2011-04-26T16:29:39.967" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T16:29:39.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1108" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1123" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:33:17.047" Score="9" ViewCount="2088" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we were dealing with baby foods, all the books and experts talked about how you could make your own baby food at home easily, except carrots. They all just said &quot;don't even try&quot;, some even had a warning that &quot;severe reactions&quot; would occur, and that it was a risk to the baby to feed them home made carrot baby food. Well I've seen the projectile vomit and horrid diapers that result from trying to feed a baby homemade carrot baby food, so there is clearly something to be said for it. But what's so hard about carrots specifically? What are the big companies able to do that we can't do at home? Can anyone explain this at the food science level?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T19:08:22.223" Title="What's so hard about home made carrot baby food?" Tags="|feeding|nutrition|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:35:34.810" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Go ahead and raise your child in your belief system, what ever that may be.  But, make sure that as they get older they know that they are free to explore other religions as well.  Talk about the differences between them with as open a mind as you can.  As they get older they will form their own views and opinions, but having the knowledge and background of an organized religion will give them a base to start from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that you are even asking this question tells me that you will be able to handle this just fine.  Teaching your child to pray at a young age is a good skill regardless of where they end up spiritually in their lives. Most religions have some form of prayer and if nothing else learning to spend a few moments each day being thankful for what you have is a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are helping your child build a foundation for who they will become as they grow.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T16:35:34.810" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1110" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:38:38.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the final age specific tag, it covers questions about kids after they reach adulthood, so say from about 17 years of age or so up, or whatever the age of adulthood is in your local area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any age specific tag, the edges are fuzzy between this and the previous tag: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/teen&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'teen'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;teen&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rule of thumb: They may technically be a &quot;adult&quot; now, but they're still your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:28:18.747" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:28:18.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1111" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:38:38.567" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from about 17 years and up.  Younger: teen." OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="942" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T03:29:06.827" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T03:29:06.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1112" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6605" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:44:02.320" Score="20" ViewCount="1058" Body="&lt;p&gt;Conventional parenting wisdom tells us to drive the fear of talking to strangers into our kids. Is this at all harmful though? Is there any adverse impact to a child's social development by doing this? How can you balance safety against fear?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:26:57.113" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T16:43:21.647" Title="Is it harmful to a child's social development to tell them &quot;don't talk to strangers&quot;?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1113" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:51:55.573" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This tag covers questions for those who are not yet in the teenage years, but are beyond the first few years of schooling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any age specific tag, the edges are fuzzy between this and the previous and following tags: &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/middle-childhood&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;middle-childhood&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;middle-childhood&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/teen&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;teen&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;teen&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-08T15:48:35.167" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T15:48:35.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1114" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-04-26T16:51:55.573" Score="0" Body="Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as &quot;tweens&quot;. Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen." OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-08T15:48:35.167" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T15:48:35.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1050" CreationDate="2011-04-26T17:52:07.930" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I would emphasize is not 'trash' talking the other spouse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents divorced with I was 5 and my brother 3. When young, my mother tell the good stories about my father. How they met, early years of marriage, funny stories, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel this is important, because as a young boy, you naturally identify with your father.  (or a girl her mother)  And you want to make sure that your children have healthy views of their parent/gender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing my mother did was still show concern for my father's well being.  We would pray for him, and have my brother and I send him Christmas / birthday cards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother succeeded in raising two boys. She always honestly answered any questions about my father.  As I got older, I became more aware of some of the more negative details of the divorce. But I was able to put it into better context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="658" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T17:52:07.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1112" CreationDate="2011-04-26T18:08:47.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child has to be of a certain age to determine what's a &quot;Qualified Stranger&quot;, that you can TALK to, even though, never to accompany. Till then, &quot;don't talk to strangers&quot; works well I think. we all grew up on that rule, and still find ourselves talking to strangers in bars or parties as adults...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T18:08:47.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-26T18:12:09.690" Score="65" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Tim H insofar as requiring a child to pray when he is too young to have any idea what he's doing, besides folding his hands and repeating after you, is pointless.  As to the second part of your question, how to raise a child without forcing your religious beliefs on him...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I come from a religion that specifically forbids one from proselytizing, even to one's own children.  First of all, some pros and cons of this approach (all from my own observation -- to my knowledge not enough of us live under such strict rules about religious teaching to have any kind of study done):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pros&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children who are raised in a One Right Way environment tend either not to question religious leaders, or to rebel against them, regardless of what beliefs and behaviors they espouse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child who accepts the indoctrination tends not to see religious leaders as normal people, just as prone to human failings as the rest of us, but as superior, and are less likely than kids who chose their own path to question religious leaders, even when those leaders take action that blatently violates the religion they preach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, the Bible clearly references Mary breastfeeding the infant Jesus, however when I lived in central Texas some of the churches taught that breastfeeding was dirty and sinful.  Even by pointing out relevant Gospel passages, the nurses in the NICU could not convince these young mothers, whose children were already off to a rough start and needed all the help they could get, to breast feed.  The preacher said it was sexual abuse, so they would not do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some realize that they've been duped into not questioning anything and rebel against the religion, sometimes in antagonistic or self-destructive ways, because they don't know how to make another choice.  Even when the religion might have been a positive influence in these kids' lives, they won't see it -- it's forever branded as oppressive in their minds.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children who choose their own religious path gain a deeper understanding of whatever path they choose, rather than just learning enough to go through the motions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children who choose their own religious path tend to find it easier to understand and deal with people from other cultures.  After you've gone through the normal adolescent journey of trying many paths to see what fits, it's kind of natural to take an anthropologist's views of faiths you don't share.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cons&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Of course, &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; indoctrinating your child from birth does teach them that religion is a choice.  They may not choose your religion.  They'll be especially skeptical of hypocrisy (a good thing in my opinion).  This isn't to say that indoctrinating them necessarily works, but not doing so also sets up the expectation that you will love and accept them even if they choose another path.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not indoctrinating all children will cause a religion not to become more widespread, at least not quickly.  Being a minority means having less power in the face of the majority religions -- and being a majority usually involves not only proselytizing, but forced conversion and violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd rather my child have to struggle a bit than to become one of the amoral bullies waging war for God(s), but if your particular faith is in danger of becoming a minority, you should be aware of the dangers.  Most of my family was forcibly converted to Catholicism a couple of generations ago.  In 2002, I had a Christian preacher try to beat me to a miscarriage after a neighbor found out my family wasn't Christian and &quot;outed&quot; us.  The neighbor who saved me, by the way, was Christian, but he was baptized as an adult -- he was not indoctrinated in as a child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming that you are still committed to giving your child a choice, &lt;strong&gt;here's how we do it:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Rule #1 is: &quot;Do not answer the unasked question.&quot;  When a child (or an adult for that matter) needs something, he or she will seek it.  Never lecture on religion, or subject your child to others doing so (e.g. church service or catechism).  Live according to your beliefs, and answer questions when your child asks them, not before.  This doesn't mean, of course, that your child shouldn't attend services or lectures if he/she has become curious and asked to do so on his/her own initiative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This teaches a number of important lessons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that a religious path is valuable (think of how differently people view things that must be sought and/or earned vs. things forced on them)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that you will love your child regardless of what path he/she chooses&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that religion is supposed to be a boon to man, not a burden.  I believe that there is a Christian saying &quot;The Sabbath was made for man, man was not made for the Sabbath.&quot;  That's what I am talking about here: too often people do things they shouldn't in the name of religion.  Teaching morals first and then allowing your child to come to religion on his/her own afterward helps your child resist the &quot;God said so&quot; line of reasoning when it comes to stuff like beating pregnant women and blowing up office buildings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Expose your child to good people of different religions.  Answer questions as honestly as you can, and let the people in your child's life know that you are fine with them explaining their beliefs as long as they don't descend into One Right Way-ism.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you talk about religion, be it your own or someone else's, know what you are talking about, and make sure your child understands that the popular idea of a religion doesn't always resemble the truth.  For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some Christians believe that breastfeeding is sinful, however their own religious texts depict the son of God himself being breastfed as an infant.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many people believe Satanists glorify immorality for its own sake.  However, none of the most dominant Satanic sects in the US believe or behave this way.  The one I am most familiar with simply tells the story of God and Satan differently: in their version, god created both Humans and Angels to be slaves.  Satan saw that this was evil, and rebelled, granting humans free will so that they could choose to serve god or not.  He (Satan) encourages humans to live moral lives, but to oppose rule from above (e.g. government power over individuals, organized religion).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many people believe that pagans worship nature, however this is only true of a couple small sects.  Many pagan paths have their own God(s), and still others do not include worship at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many people believe that pagans worship Satan.  However, the word &quot;pagan&quot; is from the Latin &quot;pagani&quot; (plural of &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/morph?l=pagani&amp;amp;la=la#lexicon&quot;&gt;paganus&lt;/a&gt;&quot;) which literally means &quot;country folk&quot; or &quot;rustic&quot;, but the connotation was derogatory, more like &quot;redneck&quot; or &quot;hillbilly&quot;.  When &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_I_and_Christianity&quot;&gt;the Roman Emperor Constantine converted to Christianity&lt;/a&gt; and began &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_I_turn_against_Paganism&quot;&gt;persecuting members of older religions&lt;/a&gt;, everyone in Rome and other cities converted to Christianity.  It made life a lot easier when you did as the emperor did.  However, people in rural areas clung to the old religions.  While people in the cities would talk about Christians and Jews as Christians and Jews, the social climate was more dismissive of other religions.  Practitioners of non-Abrahamic religions were just referred to as &quot;pagani&quot; -- so by definition, to be pagan, one cannot believe in Satan, as he's part of the Abrahamic (Christian/Jewish/Muslim/Satanic) story line.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those are just a few examples, and might seem more apropos to a discussion about religious tolerance than one about finding one's own path, but the learning process of someone who has a choice of religion is a little different than someone who grows up to believe what they are taught they must believe.  This is an important lesson, because it's the one that enables a child raised with religious choice to find direction:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the surface -- the level most unthinking practitioners never pass -- every religion is the same.  There are holidays, an oral or written history, some prayers, chants, or songs, rules for behavior, and ritual.  The important stuff is below the surface.  So, if you don't know &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; you are &quot;praying for food&quot; don't do it.  If it's a ritual that has some meaning within the context of a coherent belief system, then go ahead and do it.  The important thing is that religious practice not be based on pop culture or &quot;because $religious_leader said so&quot; but that it enrich your lives in some way.  Understanding the differences in how different paths see and interact with the world, and understanding how they came to be that way, is how one chooses.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raising your child without enforcing your own religious views is certainly harder -- there are a lot more questions to answer, and in your case there would likely be some sort of fallout from members of your church, as all the Christian sects I'm aware of require that children be indoctrinated from birth, and some go so far as to prohibit investigation of other paths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, giving your child the choice of how he or she will come to see the world is incredibly rewarding.  It means that he/she will never feel the need to choose between his/her religious calling and his/her relationship with you.  Your child will not be easy prey for someone peddling religion in order to take money or control, or for a zealot who wants to use violence in the name of God(s).  It also means that your child will learn what makes up belief systems so that, whether the context is morality, religion, business, politics, or anything else, your child can separate snake oil and self-serving hypocrisy from beliefs and models of behavior worthy of him/her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T18:12:09.690" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1112" CreationDate="2011-04-26T18:37:39.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Don't talk to strangers&lt;/em&gt; is &lt;strong&gt;not harmful&lt;/strong&gt; in my opinion, because children get plenty of interactions with adults they know, and that interaction should adequately cover their development needs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents were quite clear to me about this idea, at least from the age of around four if I remember correctly. Their definition:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A stranger is anyone who I don't know, and &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; one that is offering me anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In special situations (being lost in the mall, or similar) I was allowed to address strangers (especially anyone wearing a uniform), but generally not the other way round.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can construct a defition that is as limited or as allowing as you see fit. But I do recommend coming up with a simple and clear definition, and reminding often. As I said above, it can't really harm to be careful, and I think that most &quot;nondangerous&quot; adults will understand when a child says &lt;em&gt;I'm not allowed to talk to you, go away&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T18:37:39.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1112" CreationDate="2011-04-26T18:39:50.160" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am going to make a sweeping generalization now, but I can't help it. I think that we all have to tell our children various lies and half truths along their path of development. We have to do this because the world is too complex to understand all at once, and so, in order to teach a child successfully, you have simplify it down to digestible chunks. Sometimes, the only way to simplify is by ignore certain things for the time being, and that may mean we have to lie or tell half truths. What this also means, is that we have the responsibility to reveal the things we covered up later on in life, when the child's mind is more complex, has more context and is ready to take in more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Telling kids &quot;don't talk to strangers&quot; is appropriate for a certain age, but should probably be expanded upon at a later point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="632" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T18:39:50.160" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1112" CreationDate="2011-04-26T18:42:12.723" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our family, the rule is &quot;don't talk to strangers unless a grown-up is with you&quot;, at least when a child is small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that my son is 8, has had some martial arts training, as well as basic general tactical instruction, the rule is much more relaxed -- &quot;Don't put yourself in a situation where a stranger has the ability to compromise your safety.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll happily chat up someone new if a trusted adult is near at hand, or if he's in a public place with the ability to easily remove himself from the situation should something go wrong.    He'd never get in a stranger's car, let a stranger get close enough to grab him, or wander off.  I can trust him to be in a different part of the library than I, or to play with someone new at the park, or get help from a store employee, on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While understanding how to protect himself was an important part of getting here, the most important lesson was that good strangers and bad strangers look pretty much the same, and no one -- not even Mom or Sensei -- can tell the two apart with perfect accuracy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T18:42:12.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1087" CreationDate="2011-04-26T18:55:31.793" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally wouldn't tell my daughter I'm sorry I raised my voice at her, because I'm not. I would disagree with your contention &quot;we all know its terrible to raise your voice at kids.&quot; Sometimes you hurt your kids' feelings. I don't feel bad about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents raised me with (what I see in hindsight to be) a healthy balance of a wide variety of emotions, all of which I had to learn about eventually. As a result, I was consistently viewed by adults as having a more advanced emotional structure than my peers all through school. Why? Because my parents didn't hide anger or displeasure or disappointment just as they didn't hide joy or pleasure or pride in me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They weren't perfect by any means, but as I look back on it, their introduction of the wide range of emotions and behaviors (including anger and violence) taught me how to handle these naturally occurring phenomenon in a responsible manner. (You wouldn't believe this, there is actually violence in the real world. You should've seen how shocked my wife was at the world when we moved to Cleveland, Ohio for my first job out of uni - turns out her upbringing had protected her from the mere existence of the level of violence, racism and hatred we saw there.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the bottom line is, embrace these opportunities as learning experiences. I'm not suggesting you consistently raise your voice, all day, every day. But when you do on occasion, (I feel) you're making your child stronger in the long run. Yes she may start to cry because mommy or daddy raised their voice. That's part of life. It has happened before, it will happen again, it will happen from a wife variety of people throughout his or her life. (She perceives all voice-raising as yelling and screaming, which is not necessarily the case, it's important for her to learn the difference between different magnitudes and durations of yelling and what implications they have.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like all posts on this site, this is entirely my perception gained by self examination both as a parent and as a child. If someone has a system that contradicts this (which millions will have, I'm sure) please know that I respect what works for your delicate balance between you and your kids, and what relationships you had between you and your parents, and I would appreciate the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T18:55:31.793" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1108" CreationDate="2011-04-26T19:15:37.000" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/nitratearticle.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/nitratearticle.htm&lt;/a&gt;, the problem is with nitrate levels in carrots. If that's true, the same problem will occur with fresh spinach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to what the food industry does differently: IIRC, nitrate problems tend to get worse when cooked meals spend time at room temperature. Bacteria from the air will metabolize the nitrate into nitrite, which is poisonous at higher concentrations. This only occurs when (naturally occuring) bacteria are present, at 20-40 degrees celsius. In te food industry, the cooking process kills the bacteria, and the food is packaged airtight while the product is still hot. You can't do that at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;disclaimer: I dropped out from my chemistry bachelor after one year. The above is incomplete at best.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="613" LastEditorUserId="613" LastEditDate="2011-04-30T19:08:22.223" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T19:08:22.223" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="453" CreationDate="2011-04-26T20:18:53.047" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is really age dependant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first year I would try to keep the temperature around 15-18 degrees celcius (70ish Fahrenheit) as a minimum. Add extra blankets/clothing to keep the baby warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where we live the temperature won't rise much over 25C(77F) so whe have to keep some very light clothing on and make sure the baby drinks enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general I just make sure the temperature is a bit higher then what we're having in our sleeping room or I'd make sure the kid is wearing enough clothing not to get cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T20:18:53.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1051" CreationDate="2011-04-26T20:40:41.030" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Others have posted some good info on anxiety vs. school performance, so I won't repeat that here.  I &lt;em&gt;would&lt;/em&gt; like to offer some thoughts on reframing the question you just asked...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;...[H]ow much pressure is too much, and how little pressure is too little?&quot; is a hard question to answer, because it's abstracting a bunch of separate issues that are better addressed, well, seperately:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Requiring that your children set ambitious goals and learn to pursue them, vs. having a more hands-off approach that is fine with your child doing the minimum required at school, and just &quot;hanging out&quot; etc. outside of school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Making your child feel that his/her family's love and acceptance is dependent on his/her performance at some task or tasks, vs. not caring at all about achievement vs. a middle ground.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Trying to force your child onto the path that you have chosen for him/her vs. wanting him/her to be great at whatever he/she chooses to do.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teaching your child to accept nothing less than perfection/1st place at everything vs. teaching him/her that failure is part of life and learning, and that you don't have to be the best at something to find it rewarding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Punishing poor performance vs. a &quot;what happens happens&quot; attitude vs. looking for ways to attack problems together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say that I was raised in a high expectation but low anxiety environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents never told me what career path or what kind of relationship/kids, etc. I should want.  They wanted me to excel, but made it clear they were equally happy whether I became a farmer, a teacher, a rocket scientist, or whatever.  They did everything they could to help me reach my goals, whether it was carting my brother and I off to my speaking engagements, or driving me to the library every day for two weeks because &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Computer_Programming&quot;&gt;TAOCP&lt;/a&gt; was deemed too expensive for a young teen to take home with her while it was on inter-library loan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it turned out I was terrible at softball, rather than trying to make me &quot;stick with&quot; something that turned out to be a bad fit, my parents thought it perfectly natural that I chalked it up to experience and switched to volleyball the next season.  They treated my oscillating between piano and vocal music the same way.  It's hard to know whether something is for you before you've tried it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I failed to perform, my mom stuck by me, and helped me seek a solution -- even when everyone else said she was crazy.  I became very ill in high school, but none of the doctors we saw could figure out what was wrong with me for 2.5 years.  They told my parents that I wasn't really sick, but acting out and lazy.  I had teachers trying to get me to drop out of school, and I'm sure the whole thing was embarrassing and disappointing for my parents.  I went from the top of my class to barely graduating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of my senior year of high school, I was diagnosed with a condition that can cause tiredness, immune system problems, nomenal aphasia (inability to recall nouns), disorientation, memory loss, blackouts, migraines, and a bunch of other nasty stuff that had crippled my ability to do much of anything.  It was treatable, and life went on -- but it was too late to repair most relationships with those who'd believed that my failures were voluntary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen a lot of young people pushed into career paths that they aren't passionate about or talented in because of their parents' expectations.  I've seen people struggle to be who they aren't out of fear that not doing so will cost their parents' love.  At best, it ends in mediocrity and unhappiness, at worst, self destruction, usually in the form of drugs and/or suicide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The opposite extreme isn't good, either.  Kids who grow up with parents who don't care about seeing them achieve tend to underestimate their own abilities, and be extrinsically rather than intrinsically motivated in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, rather than thinking &quot;pressure&quot; is good or bad, I think:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ambition, goal-setting, unconditional love, self-direction, work ethic, support in overcoming obstacles, and understanding that not everything we try is for life are awesome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rigidity, artificially limiting your child's choices, unqualified attitude of &quot;succeed or be punished&quot;, and conditional acceptance are bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T20:40:41.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="221" CreationDate="2011-04-26T22:09:26.170" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Where I am from it is really considered taboo. Where my wife is from, on the other hand, it's completely normal and quite logical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the key is to understand why (on a case by case basis) the adult-child does not want to move out. It is perfectly normal for people to have room mates in almost any culture, and perhaps his preferred room mates are his parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider that if he's 40, his parents are pushing 60, probably older. At that point, who is living with who?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the adult-child capable of holding down a job to afford his own place, but chooses not to? That's quite common where my wife is from. It makes simple economic sense - saving $10000 a year on housing is quite appealing! Consider that if he's been doing that for the last 20 years, he has saved himself (assuming 5% interest by investing that money) over $330,000! That's a significant nest-egg.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We, as a society, are very quick to judge someone for their circumstances before we get to understand the reasons why. This is a perfect example of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, when do you promote your children to move out? I would say &lt;strong&gt;when the reasons for moving out outweigh the reasons for staying&lt;/strong&gt;. Maybe they're not very responsible, so you need to cut them on their own so they are forced to live more responsibly. Maybe they bring their (loud) friends over, or they have a band, or there isn't enough garage space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you just plain don't want them in your house anymore. &lt;strong&gt;It doesn't mean you don't love them&lt;/strong&gt;!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2011-04-26T22:09:26.170" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1127" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-27T04:51:10.877" Score="6" ViewCount="722" Body="&lt;p&gt;OS doesn't matter - I can do Windows, Linux, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd prefer free (as in beer) software.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The language itself is important, but it also matters if there are good simple tutorials available, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can help him quite a bit, I'm not a full time programmer, but over a number of years I wrote code in maybe half a dozen languages. I can still code fairly decently in PHP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="666" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T11:17:26.107" Title="9yr old kid wants to learn programming, what's the best language to get him started?" Tags="|programming|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2011-04-27T12:23:28.883" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1128" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1134" CreationDate="2011-04-27T07:43:20.203" Score="4" ViewCount="986" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many controversial history episodes that are still relevant and actively discussed today. I don't mean cruel or bloody stories, rather episodes that different people have opposite viewpoints about, or episodes that have a dimension that is not widely known to public. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are, for example, most of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bombings_during_the_Northern_Ireland_Troubles&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Irish&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Collins_%28Irish_leader%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;history&lt;/a&gt;, or &lt;a href=&quot;http://americancivilwar.com/authors/black_slaveowners.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;slavery in the US&lt;/a&gt;, or history of the USSR, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to introduce such topics to a child? What is the degree that parent should include his viewpoint?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-11-25T19:51:55.247" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T18:51:52.210" Title="How do you discuss a controversial history topic with a child?" Tags="|education|communication|history|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1127" CreationDate="2011-04-27T08:37:18.087" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to answer quick before this gets closed: Logo! It's visual and easy to learn, and can help him practice procedural thinking, breaking repeated tasks into reusable methods, and even recursion. He'll have lots of time later to use Objective C and C# and PHP and all those other boring languages we adults use. Let him make some kick-ass spirals with Logo first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="667" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T08:37:18.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1127" CreationDate="2011-04-27T11:17:26.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Basic. I learnt it at 9 years old, and it is easy enough to get into. The graphics libraries means you can create shapes on screen and program something visual. You also have for loops and conditions. It is a procedural language so you get right into programming without having to learn OOP concepts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;10 do this&#xA;20 if this goto 40&#xA;30 goto 10&#xA;40 some more code&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a lot easier than having to explain to a 9 year old what a class is or a data type. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While some people might also recommend games like Minecraft which has a programming element. I would say there is no good reason for a 9 year old not to jump right into a real programming model. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="670" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T11:17:26.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1128" CreationDate="2011-04-27T11:54:04.317" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd first ask why would you need to?  If this was for a history class, then you could give your view  or teach them to research the topic, a fine time to learn how to use a library if they are old enough.  If the topic is one you are knowledgable about you could have some conversations about the topic, looking into the causes and effects, if not then it is also a good time to learn together.  Another trip to the library!  Yes, I love the library and I think kids should get more exposure to it as a learning opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bringing it up when its not necessary might be a bit much.  It also depends on the age, maybe gloss over the general trend with a younger child or try to examine the cause and effect with an older one.  There are lots of books, or even TV shows for different ages about historical settings that present the topics in age appropriate settings.  I remember seeing many of the TV shows when I was young about kids time travelling to different periods, or a main cast of characters appearing in different time periods in stories; although they are rather dated by today's standards I am sure there are updated versions.  Check out your local library!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing research on topics is both a learning experience for kids, asking them what they know about a subject is a good place to start, see what their interest is and try to tailor your response appropriately.  Adding your own viewpoint is something every parent needs to decide, this goes for religion and politics as well, either you can bring up your child with your views only or give them yours and let them decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T11:54:04.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-27T12:19:37.643" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If my child didn't want to thank his invisible, non-existent friend for food said non-existent invisible friend didn't supply, I would be rewarding him/her for their intellectual prowess at working this out inside 2 years and not wasting any more time on the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That aside, I don't believe anyone should force any child to do anything they don't wish to.  If you start forcing the child to pray, they may link this to food itself and pick up food issues.  My wife is religious, I am not.  My father-in-law is actually a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canon_%28priest%29&quot;&gt;Canon&lt;/a&gt;.  One child wishes to pray, one child doesn't.  As far as that goes, I am cool with both ideas.  The moment you start forcing kids to do anything, IMO, is the moment you are introducing them to issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So whilst I should apologise for the jibe at the top of my reply, I don't believe in indoctrination.  He is 2 years old, as long as he is eating you should be happy.  Once he understands what faith is, maybe take it form there; all you are doing is getting him/her to form a habit, not linked to faith, but to food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:08:44.640" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:08:44.640" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1128" CreationDate="2011-04-27T12:20:34.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can give watered down versions that are age appropriate.&#xA;You can also browse your local library for kids books on the subject, to at least see how others have structured a story for that age bracket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="634" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T12:20:34.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1128" CreationDate="2011-04-27T12:30:05.027" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a policy of answering any questions I have been asked, to the best of my ability.  From therein, I am then asked about the morality of such events, and we have some cracking conversations based on morality, dilemmas and history.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once a kid understands death, its finality and in parts its brutality, I think you can really enjoy parenting, educating by getting them to examine the different sides to an argument.  To be frank, I have had my own eyes widened by approaching my kids' education this way, as I am now viewing historical events differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:06:56.897" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:06:56.897" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-04-27T12:34:36.443" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think to enable them to understand more about dental hygiene, would be to explore poor dental hygiene together on the Internet.  Being English, and of a certain age, my teeth are poor, in general.  I have fairly crooked teeth - on an English level, not too bad, but not straight at all, and not bright white.  I sometimes show my kids my teeth and say to them, &quot;Do they want teeth like this?&quot;  It normally makes them brush them.  I have also been known to find gruesome images on the Internet, and make some mock horror noises, to which my kids are always drawn, and unsolicited, they'll ask what it is, and I tell them, &quot;It's a picture of someone's teeth, who've not looked after them.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, appeal to their vanity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Withholding pain relief is just cruelty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-28T10:28:09.227" LastActivityDate="2016-03-28T10:28:09.227" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1087" CreationDate="2011-04-27T12:38:40.527" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I do lose my cool, I tend to have a time out myself, then approach the child, explain I am sorry about shouting, I let them know I have no right to shout at them, that no one does, but then I explain why her actions led me to act like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if I feel I have done wrong, I will always apologise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it feels wrong, it generally is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T12:38:40.527" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2011-04-27T16:09:35.137" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3.5 year old had exactly the same pattern recently develop. All of a sudden at day care he wouldn't say a word to anyone, but at pre-school, at play group, here at home, basically everywhere else he was &quot;normal&quot;. A quick bit of fly on the wall observation showed he was being bullied outside the teacher's observation at day care and his reaction was to simply withdraw into his shell and not talk. That was the key to breaking that problem, figure out why and give him the tools to deal with it. (also a bit of education for the bullies helped I'm sure.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T16:09:35.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-04-27T18:40:10.123" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kirk, I'm not sure I understand your question clearly. Did you mean:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Is it cruel to deny &lt;strong&gt;any&lt;/strong&gt; anaesthetic?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Yes that's very cruel&lt;/strong&gt; and it's neither a suitable punishment nor a useful lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Is it cruel to deny &lt;strong&gt;N2O in addition&lt;/strong&gt; to the local anaesthetic?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;No that's probably not a big problem&lt;/strong&gt; (depending on several factors) but you should still consider allowing it. N2O is not a painkiller but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.1stsedationdentist.com/laughing-gas-article27.html&quot;&gt;useful against anxiety&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody benefits from a fear of going to the dentist. I'm sure the entire experience, even with painkillers, will leave a pedagogically useful impression with your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T18:40:10.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-27T19:14:29.890" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few other ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Interesting toothbrush and other gear: we've tried half a dozen, and the electric one works the best.  I think you have to be extra gentle though to make sure it doesn't hurt.  I like user339's advice about trying a mouth mirror.  Go shopping with your toddler to pick out his equipment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Build on what he does understand: my mom taught my 20-month son to understand what's &quot;dirty&quot; (trash, diaper bin, etc) and he knows he should not touch dirty things.  I recently told him his mouth was dirty if we didn't brush his teeth clean (complete with me smelling his mouth and making a stinky face).  Amazingly, this worked best.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Model: as mentioned, model with yourself.  Also liberally brush the teeth of his toys, bathtime duckies, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember -- the screaming your kid does in your arms is much better than the screaming that would happen when they get cavities filled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-05-06T06:19:21.793" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T06:19:21.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1141" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1143" CreationDate="2011-04-27T19:20:06.703" Score="17" ViewCount="739" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a relatively large house.  Our kids are always in earshot, but not usually in sight.  The problem with this is our 4 year-old son doesn't know how to call out for help appropriately.  On the one hand, he cries for the tiniest of reasons.  However, when he really does need our help, he is bizarrely often completely silent.  For example, he will just stand in front of a locked door he needs to enter until we happen to walk by, or if he can't find his shoes he will stand in the middle of his bedroom until we happen to walk by.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The combination of the excessive crying together with the stymied silence creates a boy-who-cried-wolf effect that has so far been annoying but harmless, but has me a little concerned for his potential safety, not to mention making things like potty training very difficult.  I try to reinforce what he needs to say to call for us, which he now dutifully recites as soon as I come into view.  It's like he doesn't remember we exist if he can't see or hear us at the time, or at least doesn't realize we can hear him.  This in spite of the example of his older sister calling for us and getting prompt responses all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas on what we can try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:29:19.903" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T01:08:49.943" Title="How do you teach a child to call for help?" Tags="|independence|communication|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1142" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1144" CreationDate="2011-04-27T19:51:20.960" Score="4" ViewCount="420" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are alot of books about parenting. Some are better than others. Which book(s) do you turn to as general, all-purpose, parent guides?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T20:54:09.830" Title="What books are in your parenting reference library?" Tags="|books|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2011-04-27T20:53:50.520" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1141" CreationDate="2011-04-27T20:51:42.113" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;To teach children how to call for help appropriately, the first thing I would do is share with them the story of &quot;The Boy Who Cried Wolf&quot; (which you have already mentioned). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you want to encourage, not discourage, your child to ask for assistance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting my kids ready to stay home alone has meant practicing what needs to be done in an emergency or if they just need help. Role-playing has been a big part of their preparation. Learning to call for help has 2 steps. First they must recognize when they need help. Then, they have to communicate that need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step 1. Recognize need for help.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be done by quizzing, where the child needs to distinguish between scenarios requiring help and those that don't. You could introduce this with a game where you give a scenario that doesn't require help (A) and then make the scenario worse where it requires help (B). Or for older children have them come up with (B).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A. &quot;You are getting a snack in the&#xA;kitchen.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;B. &quot;You are getting a snack and can't&#xA;reach it in the cupboard.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A. &quot;You are getting ready for school.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;B. &quot;You are late for school and can't find your coat!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A. &quot;You are playing outside and fall down. You are all sandy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;B. &quot;You are playing outside and fall down. And your knee is bleeding.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step 2. Communicate need for help&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that you have done step 1, you can use these examples as cues (and miscues!) to ask for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;You are getting a snack and can't reach it in the cupboard. What do you do?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;How would you call for Dad to help?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the children get older the scenarios can get more serious and require action beyond calling for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By using miscues along with the times you want your children to call for help, you will continue to foster independence while encouraging them to reach out for assistance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, to get your child to yell (aka using their &quot;outside voice&quot;), you can play hide and seek games like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gameskidsplay.net/games/sensing_games/marcopolo.htm&quot;&gt;Marco Polo&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-04-28T01:48:23.320" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T01:48:23.320" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1142" CreationDate="2011-04-27T20:52:29.050" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cb.pbsstatic.com/xl/03/0003/9780380570003.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://cb.pbsstatic.com/xl/03/0003/9780380570003.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to Talk So Kids Will Listen &amp;amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T20:52:29.050" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-27T20:52:29.050" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1142" CreationDate="2011-04-27T20:54:09.830" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/J9Wa7.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's Going On In There?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T20:54:09.830" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-27T20:54:19.720" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1146" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1187" CreationDate="2011-04-27T22:05:01.610" Score="34" ViewCount="3364" Body="&lt;p&gt;So our 3 year old son is both talkative and imaginative, but hasn't necessarily learned all the social decorum that comes with age/experience and social development. There's been a number of embarrassing situations/social faux-pas that we've just about explained away, but sometimes it is pretty difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, we were in the photo printing shop waiting for our prints and my son exclaimed &quot;Look daddy, a witch!&quot;. As I looked around he was pointing straight at a bedraggled-looking middle-aged lady whose hair was unkempt but was probably just having a 'bad hair day'. I calmly walked him around to the opposite side of the shop, crouched down to his level and said &quot;I can't see a witch, but there's a picture of a dragon on the wall&quot;. He protested &quot;no daddy, over there, with the green boots&quot; (luckily out of earshot). I asked him &quot;does she have a Broomstick, a Cauldron, and a Cat?&quot;, to which he replied 'No' and accepted she couldn't be a witch, then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On this occasion, some quick thinking diffused any further awkwardness or upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any techniques that you use to handle these types of situations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;..and have you got a fun story to illustrate your technique? :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="193" LastEditDate="2011-04-29T18:37:16.827" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T13:15:49.917" Title="When your child says something embarrassing in public... how do you deal with it?" Tags="|social-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1053" CreationDate="2011-04-27T22:33:27.917" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's impossible to diagnose a child--especially with no relevant expertise--from only a brief description. Asperger's is considered part of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.adhd.com.au/Autism.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Autism Spectrum&lt;/a&gt;. Hugging strangers is not typical of the condition, although obviously there are exceptions. On the other hand, excessive &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;displays of affection&lt;/a&gt; to strangers might be a symptom of attachment disorder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt; difference between these two problems in terms of overall consequences to the life of the individual affected and those who care for them. If this child is in any distress--they seem unable to cope with their school life, they are excessively unhappy, they are unable to maintain friendships, they lack empathy to humans or animals, etc--then I would encourage his parents (if you appropriately can) to seek professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-27T22:33:27.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1146" CreationDate="2011-04-28T02:20:20.643" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good job not over-reacting! At this age, redirection (distraction) is very effective. Perhaps saying something more like, &quot;Hey! Look at this cool dragon!&quot; might have worked better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they get older, explaining the impact of their words will help keep the verbal reactions to a minimum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my guys were smaller, we crossed paths with a short person in the grocery store. The older one said to the younger, &quot;That guy didn't eat his vegetables! He didn't grow!&quot; To which I said, &quot;So what should we have for dinner before swimming lessons? What's your teacher's name again?&quot; And that was the end of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More recently, they noticed someone with a horrible rash on their face and arms, who they pointed at and of course drew my attention. I explained to them what it might be and asked how they would feel if the same thing happened to them. These kinds of outbursts happen much more quietly now, but they haven't stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T02:20:20.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-28T03:28:55.150" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A leader in my church, in a recent address, said the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I have heard a few parents state that&#xA;  they don’t want to impose the gospel&#xA;  on their children but want them to&#xA;  make up their own minds about what&#xA;  they will believe and follow. They&#xA;  think that in this way they are&#xA;  allowing children to exercise their&#xA;  agency. What they forget is that the&#xA;  intelligent use of agency requires&#xA;  knowledge of the truth, of things as&#xA;  they really are (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/93.24?lang=eng#23&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;D&amp;amp;C 93:24&lt;/a&gt;).&#xA;  Without that, young people can hardly&#xA;  be expected to understand and evaluate&#xA;  the alternatives that come before&#xA;  them. Parents should consider how the&#xA;  adversary approaches their children.&#xA;  He and his followers are not promoting&#xA;  objectivity but are vigorous,&#xA;  multimedia advocates of sin and&#xA;  selfishness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Seeking to be neutral about the gospel&#xA;  is, in reality, to reject the&#xA;  existence of God and His authority. We&#xA;  must, rather, acknowledge Him and His&#xA;  omniscience if we want our children to&#xA;  see life’s choices clearly and be able&#xA;  to think for themselves. They should&#xA;  not have to learn by sad experience&#xA;  that “wickedness never was happiness”&#xA;  (&lt;a href=&quot;http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/41.10?lang=eng#9&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Alma 41:10&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may enjoy the whole talk:  &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/moral-discipline?lang=eng&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Moral Discipline&lt;/a&gt;&quot; by D. Todd Christofferson Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, speech given during the October 2009 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="687" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T03:28:55.150" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1150" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1151" CreationDate="2011-04-28T06:06:07.277" Score="6" ViewCount="462" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems there are more books on parenting than fish in the sea. But which ones are good, and more importantly, &lt;em&gt;what makes them good?&lt;/em&gt; Since any specific book &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1142/what-books-are-in-your-parenting-reference-library&quot;&gt;recommendations&lt;/a&gt; would be too  localized for our international audience, let's instead focus on the second part:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What elements make a parenting book good? What should I look for?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This is not a question that has a single correct answer, so it will be a community wiki.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Please provide exactly one suggestion per answer!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Please upvote and downvote answers according to your experience.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T21:55:00.277" Title="What elements make a parenting book good?" Tags="|books|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-28T06:07:35.373" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1150" CreationDate="2011-04-28T06:26:03.457" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;General &quot;parenting&quot; books aren't generally very good at all.  In order to cover such a broad subject area, yet not be thousands of pages long multivolume works, they have to barely mention each subject and move on.  In order to sell well they have to not bother anybody, and apply to as wide an audience as possible.  These three constraints lead to books with little content of use, and lots of feel-good fluff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Books on specific parenting issues, such as raising a child with a specific disability, planning summer learning activities, childhood nutrition, etc. are usually much better.  By only addressing one subtopic, they can actually &lt;em&gt;address&lt;/em&gt; it rather than merely &lt;em&gt;mentioning&lt;/em&gt; it.  Their specificity also leads them to appeal to specific parenting audiences that self-select for some common trait(s) or philosophy.  Consequently, they have less fluff and more content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't to say that &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; niche parenting book is good -- but nearly every general one is really, really bad, so the niche books is where you probably want to look.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T06:26:03.457" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-28T06:26:03.457" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1153" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-28T08:01:26.463" Score="4" ViewCount="1068" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have the full version of the Rosetta cd with many languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that young children absorb information like a sponge - so if I wanted to teach my daughter languages which I do not know, is this a good age to start about 30 minutes on Rosetta with her each day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="690" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:30:29.573" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T19:57:08.990" Title="Is the Rosetta software a good tool for teaching a toddler foreign languages?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|language|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-04-28T08:09:51.103" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of ours went through a stage like this (in fact number two is still going through it). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lighten up - if you don't get a perfect brush in EVERY day, nothing bad is going to happen&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure it really is about the teeth and not power struggles&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try a mixed approach - if one idea works for you, great, but have a whole load of others ready!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making a game out of their resistance worked (sometimes) for me: I'd poke the brush at the, and they'd turn their mouth away, but every now and then (because they're laughing) I'd 'hit'. Generally, after a few minutes of that and them laughing silly, they'd relax and let me 'win' .. a bit. Sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T08:09:51.103" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1153" CreationDate="2011-04-28T08:38:36.697" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not familiar with the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.multilingualbooks.com/rosetta.html#about&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rosetta CD&lt;/a&gt; you refer to, but there has been a few interesting language questions (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/67/how-to-raise-a-bi-lingual-child&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/15/how-do-you-raise-your-kid-in-a-country-where-you-do-not-speak-the-language-native&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;) that might help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To address your question: &lt;strong&gt;It's never too early&lt;/strong&gt; to expose children to new languages, because they can hear very well right from birth, and the sounds they hear shape their ability to discern the patterns and melodies of the language(s). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... but you have to do it well. I personally don't think that it really works to teach children a language that you don't know yourself - I feel that as a parent and teacher &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/67/how-to-raise-a-bi-lingual-child/137#137&quot;&gt;you must be quite fluent&lt;/a&gt; for this to work. I hope you'll prove me wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T08:38:36.697" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1146" CreationDate="2011-04-28T08:58:04.323" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I could talk all day about this. My kids, when they were a certain age, constantly embarrassed me, and it's kind of hard not to laugh at times. Once, a rather large lady in the swimming pool changing area got undressed in front of my eldest and her mother, to which my girl said, &quot;mummy, how come that ladies pants are so large?&quot;  In the small confines of a changing room, my wife tried distracting, all to no avail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I think kids of a certain age will not understand the social niceties of not saying things, and the more open and talkative we encourage our kids to be, the more this will happen.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the long and the short of it is that we simply have to grin and bear it, until you can get them to understand not to do it. My worst on, was when she kept saying, louder and louder, that the bald man with a hair lip changing next to us &quot;looked very odd&quot;. What genuinely can you do to a 2/3 year old who doesn't understand it isn't a nice thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a kid we'd be beaten if we said this, but, thankfully, times have changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="193" LastEditDate="2011-04-29T18:36:57.683" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T18:36:57.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1153" CreationDate="2011-04-28T10:02:14.147" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In your question, you mentioned &quot;languages&quot;. Do you intend to teach her several languages at the same time ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children can indeed learn several languages easily, but it helps tremendously if these languages are used for actual communication with people, and it is good practice to have a dedicated language per person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example our daughter speaks in English with my wife, in Spanish with my wife's parents and in French with me and my parents. I might speak English or Spanish to my wife or parents-in-law, but I only speak French to my daughter. Young children will not easily realize you are speaking a different language unless the languages are used in different contexts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as @torbengb mentioned, it is a good idea if the speakers are native. The hardest part of learning a language is recognizing and producing the sounds of the language. Children are particularly good at hearing new sounds and producing them, but then it's much better if they hear them well pronounced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our daughter, we've also been using baby sign language (ASL in our case) when she couldn't speak yet, and this has helped as a &quot;glue&quot; between French and English for her, since we both used the same signs while speaking two different languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now learning a new language together with your children can also be seen as a game (so long as they enjoy it), and you can also take advantage of songs to make it more fun and easy. Many lullabies and other children songs exist in lots of languages, and it can be fun to learn them together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="674" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T10:02:14.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1150" CreationDate="2011-04-28T10:57:05.640" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;With no particular order:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It shouldn't be too broad. As @HedgeMage said, parenting is extremely broad, so it's unrealistic to cover it at whole in reasonable number of pages.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It should be down-to-earth, advices should be simple and applicable in a variety of environments and situations;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It should be written in a friendly and easy-to-understand style.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T10:57:05.640" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-28T10:57:05.640" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1153" CreationDate="2011-04-28T12:34:47.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;With kids I'd teach them languages only if you can speak them natively and converse around them, my two sons know Mandarin because my wife speaks it around them constantly so they've grown up having the &quot;ear&quot; for the lanuage as well as being talked to in the language.  Learning languages for kids is more than just 30 minutes of listening to audio or doing a DVD, I think you need the exposure outside of just the language class.  There is a child in my son's school where the parents have their girl go to Chinese and Greek schools, the girl picks up both lanuages but since no one speaks Greek in the family her skill is not as good as her English and Chinese.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are really focused on having your child get some exposure I have heard good things about the Muzzy series and I think they do Spanish.  I commend the idea of exposure, I find it useful, but with the way you are doing it I don't know how much you will get long term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T12:34:47.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-04-28T13:03:36.480" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a Christian I think it's fairly clear both from church doctrine (of all the churches I've been a part of) and from the Biblethat we are supposed to &quot;indoctrinate&quot; our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Deuteronomy 4:9&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Matthew 18:6&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;And many many, more.  A quick search reveals that this is a pretty important subject actually.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how?  I think we do it largely by presenting ourselves as Christian role models, and by talking about spiritual things with them on a regular basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Deuteronomy 11:19&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a practical matter, forcing a two year old to pray won't gain you anything.  Rather model that behavior yourself, and invite him to join in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's a little older you'll want to explain why praying matters, and make a habit of talking about your beliefs with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T13:03:36.480" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2011-04-28T13:09:07.617" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 2 girls, and another on the way.  Whenever boys come over to play, the very, very first thing they will ALL do is to go into the play clothes/costume pile and dress up as princesses, Cinderella, Snow White, etc, etc, etc.  I mean absolutely 100% all of them.  There is absolutely nothing wrong in this at all, and the only problem at this stage, will arise if you continually make an issue out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a French friend, whose son comes to play and always dresses up.  He is getting more and more irritated by this (especially as he is a red-meat-eating, sport-playing 100%-heterosexual Frenchie) and when he catches the child the child gets severely reprimanded.  All that happens now is that the son is doing it on the quiet, and I think more issues will be raised that way; keeping something in the closet was a phrase coined for this behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them be kids, don't force them to do it behind your back, as you are (kind of) teaching them to hide participating in a fun activity.  This can create deep issues with you instead of letting him move through this stage.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like my girls biting their nails, so they don't - in front of me.  Now they do it behind my back and know it is taboo.  All I have taught them is if something isn't approved, you have to hide it.  Shame on me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T02:54:38.413" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T02:54:38.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1146" CreationDate="2011-04-28T14:01:09.880" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was a toddler, I was spared these situations -- he could only sign until he was almost 5, and not that many random strangers do, so I just didn't translate anything inappropriate. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps that can be replicated by teaching them that if they want to talk about a person, they should whisper quietly to you so you can help them avoid hurting anyone's feelings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T14:01:09.880" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1150" CreationDate="2011-04-28T14:05:53.657" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good characteristic of a Parenting book is that it is easily referenced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even books that (ideally) focus on a single general topic will provide a wide range of information (otherwise it fails as a book).  However, after you've read it you'll likely find cause to go back to the book for review of specific sections (e.g. &quot;what were those developmental milestones for 9-month-olds again?&quot;, &quot;now that I've moved into the third stage of the process, what are the steps I need to take?&quot;, &quot;I remember there was a recipe in there for making a dish with oranges and potatoes...&quot;, or &quot;what was that recommendation on initiating dialog on this subject again?&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A well-written book will be set up in such a way as to make it easy for you to go back to the book after a general reading and find what you're looking for.  Check the index and table of contents to see how well the contents are documented.  Is there a logical, intuitive organization (i.e. is it broken down by age group?  Is there a logical progression of subjects that the book follows?  Does the book highlight or separate out key points so that they stand out from the rest of the text?)?  Better yet, are there a number of useful appendixes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T14:05:53.657" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-28T14:05:53.657" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1150" CreationDate="2011-04-28T14:24:09.447" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are generally two types of parenting books: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Those that strive to be objectively informative&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Those that advocate a particular style or method that the author subjectively feels is useful.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those of the first type can usually be judged by the credentials of the authors (e.g. The American Academy of Pediatrics), although not always (the authors of the &quot;What to Expect&quot; series don't have impressive credentials iirc, but their books are very popular).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second type seems much more common on the marketplace these days, and provides a much wider range of reactions (from &quot;OMG!  How can anyone survive without this?!?&quot; to &quot;What idiot decided that publishing this garbage was a good idea?!?&quot;).  Therefore, choosing from the selection of subjective books becomes a trickier decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When choosing subjective books, first and foremost you should &lt;strong&gt;review the general premise or philosophy of the book&lt;/strong&gt; before you purchase it.  If you don't agree with the author's (or authors') justification as to why their method/style/advice is &quot;the way to go&quot;, then chances are you will find very little worthwhile information in the book.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always remember that any book with subjective advice (no matter how much the author tries to present it as objective fact... and they almost always will do just that, btw!), you &lt;strong&gt;are under no obligation to agree with 100% of the author's opinions!&lt;/strong&gt;  Making sure that you at least marginally agree with the basic premise, though, gives you a much better chance of finding at least &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; advice that you will find useful and applicable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T14:24:09.447" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-04-28T14:24:09.447" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="189" CreationDate="2011-04-28T15:35:27.353" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are just looking for exposure Dora and Diego are good for incorporating Spanish in the shows, while Ni Hao Kai Lan does Chinese.  Although I wouldn't expect these to be useful for more than gaining a few words in another language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T15:35:27.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1166" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-28T15:53:40.200" Score="13" ViewCount="70413" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mom remarried to a great guy who has been absolutely wonderful to my kids. Ever since my mom and he were dating my kids have called him Mr. Joe. Lately my mom has been bugging me to get the kids to call him Grampa.  I agree that he deserves more respect than Mr.  The problem is that he isn't their real grampa so I don't really want them calling him that. Does anybody have any suggestions on what we should have the kids call him? They are 9 and 12 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I appreciate the comments regarding different variations of grampa and hearing how others have no issues with calling their step-granddad grampa. But I was hoping maybe someone has some suggestions for names that show the importance of the step-granddad without calling him some variation of the grampa name but still has a feeling of warmth and family in the name (I hope that makes sense).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="695" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:13:01.750" LastActivityDate="2019-03-11T11:10:30.530" Title="What should children call a step-grandparent?" Tags="|names|step-parents|" AnswerCount="20" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2011-04-28T16:37:31.600" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mom died before my kids were born. My father remarried after my kids were born. We struggle with the question of names too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think to answer this question you need to first ask yourself how important names/titles really are (some would say it's just a name) and then ask yourself how important the person is and how this name would make them feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband calls his parents by their first names and has never called them &quot;Mom&quot; or &quot;Dad&quot;. However, as grandparents, they adopted the title and quite like it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had been more magnanimous, my father's wife would enjoy the title of grandmother. My dad refers calls her &quot;grandma&quot; to the children, but he's the only one. It really doesn't cost us anything. After all, &lt;strong&gt;special friends get the title of aunt or uncle&lt;/strong&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your children are older and haven't know your step-father as grandpa from early on, if you decide to re-name your step-father, I would &lt;strong&gt;suggest you hold a re-naming ceremony&lt;/strong&gt; in the same way that someone is knighted. This could even happen on an auspicious birthday or family occasion. This will give you a chance to formally recognize all that he has brought to your family so that he is honoured, as befits the name. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: If you are looking for a completely different name that is closer than &quot;Uncle&quot; but more distant than &quot;Grandpa&quot;, perhaps you could find a nickname instead; something that is meaningful to your children that also relates to your step-dad. This might be reciprocated by the children getting nicknames too (thus not being &quot;grandchildren&quot;). For example, if they all watch Star Wars movies together, maybe he is referred to as &quot;JediMaster&quot; and they become &quot;the Young Jedi&quot;. My cousins called my grandmother &quot;LBBG&quot; (Little Bit Big Grandma) because their other grandmother was much bigger than them. She embraced this and started signing all of her correspondence to us with LBBG!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-04-29T17:46:22.070" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T17:46:22.070" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2011-04-28T17:16:37.773" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in pretty much the same exact situation you are in (except for my son being 7 months old, which does change some aspects pretty significantly).  My mother and her husband sent my wife and I lists of names they were considering, and honestly, we hated most of them.  I strongly feel that the parents should be the ones coming up with the list of potential names, or at least an active participant in the process of choosing, although this could depend on your relationship with your mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just make sure that whatever you do decide on is something &quot;Mr. Joe&quot; and your mother will both like.  Not everyone will be happy being called &quot;Mee-maw&quot; :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.grandparents.com/gp/content/activitiesandevents/everyday-activities/article/grandparent-names.html&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is a pretty good list of possibilities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That website has a list of international names, too, which can be a great idea if your family has one or more strong ethnic identities.  We were looking at &quot;babushka and dedushka&quot;, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T17:16:37.773" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1169" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1218" CreationDate="2011-04-28T18:05:41.273" Score="24" ViewCount="1792" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I can speak daily conversational Mandarin, probably at the fluency and vocabulary of a native 3rd grade speaker.  So decent, but not great.  We speak 99% of the time in Mandarin to our son (though we speak English to each other in front of him).  As he is a toddler now and getting older, I find my limited vocabulary more of an issue than when he was younger (e.g. at the zoo, we see a polar bear... I didn't know &quot;polar bear&quot; in Mandarin and had to just call it... a &quot;white bear&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I worry that I will cause him developmental issues since I've read that the amount you speak to children impacts their learning (more is better).  Unfortunately, the studies I've seen are unclear whether it is purely volume or also diversity of words.  Anyone with info or personal experience with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:37:11.863" LastActivityDate="2014-07-17T03:49:06.267" Title="Would it be bad to only speak to a child  in a language in which you are not completely fluent?" Tags="|bilingual|language-development|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1169" CreationDate="2011-04-28T18:08:51.080" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I feel the volume of words is more important, than the diversity, at least early on.  This way, your child learns words faster, and when he hears the same words repeatedly, he can learn to use them quicker... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need to learn more diversity of words as he gets older, otherwise the language will not suffice, and you will end up using English more...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="407" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T18:08:51.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1169" CreationDate="2011-04-28T18:36:52.650" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can get by with less than perfect. But you've already experienced a situation were you had to choose the &quot;wrong&quot; word. If that's rare then I don't see a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, since you say your level is around 3rd grade, I think that your son will catch up to your level quickly, and then it will become difficult for you. After all, as a parent and teacher you need to stay ahead. If you want to really &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; speak Mandarin to him although you don't feel sufficiently fluent, then I'd answer your title question as a &lt;em&gt;yes that would be bad&lt;/em&gt; because you'll be running out of vocabulary too fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even so: you've then taught your boy Mandarin up to a 3rd grade level, which is cool, and a good start into anything more later on -- if you can keep it maintained. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/67/how-to-raise-a-bi-lingual-child/137#137&quot;&gt;stated before&lt;/a&gt; that &lt;em&gt;you've got to know all the words you're ever going to need,&lt;/em&gt; or else you'll be forced to fall back into another (or a simpler) language. I don't personally think that teaching a second language would work unless you're 97% fluent yourself, but your situation might be different, so don't feel put down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T18:36:52.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2011-04-28T18:56:52.460" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For my family, the grandparent title means more about the role they play in our kids lives than genetics, so my kids' step-grandparents are 'Granddad' and 'Nanny'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(not criticising you for feeling differently btw, just thought you might like to hear a different pov!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, with the two step-grandparents, four biological grandparents and five great-grandparents so we have a Grandpa, a Grandma and have had good fun with nicknames to differentiate between some of the Nanny's &amp;amp; Granddads. 'Nanny Woof' has a dog, 'Nanny Bis' has biscuits, 'Granddad Fish' has - surprise - pet fish, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing here is it was my son who came up with the nicknames, so they were fun, they stuck, and it's hard to be too insulted by a nickname given to you innocently by a cute two year old ;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="232" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T18:56:52.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1173" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1174" CreationDate="2011-04-28T19:27:15.257" Score="14" ViewCount="14347" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm curious what the correct way would be to explain the difference between right wing and left wing politics to a child without even a hint of bias and without indoctrinating them. Here's my stab:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The political spectrum can be&#xA;  described as a straight line that has&#xA;  what we call the &quot;left&quot; at one end,&#xA;  and the &quot;right&quot; at the other end. Each&#xA;  has a very different way of looking at&#xA;  the world and deciding between right&#xA;  and wrong in the world, and one is the&#xA;  opposite of the other. On the right,&#xA;  people believe that everybody should&#xA;  be free to do what they want, and that&#xA;  the government should stay out of&#xA;  their lives as much as possible. On&#xA;  the left, people believe that&#xA;  everybody has the right to a basic&#xA;  standard of living, and that its OK to&#xA;  give up some freedom in exchange for&#xA;  privileges like roads, and doctors,&#xA;  even if you can't afford them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's my concern. I think its important in any description of the political spectrum to explain not only what each side wants, but what they are giving up in exchange. I'm worried that in my explanation above, I've not properly explained that in a right-wing world-view, some people are necessarily left behind. I don't know how to do this without biasing the listener unreasonably. Furthermore, how do I reflect that on the left, in exchange for social justice, people aren't able to maximize their quality of life in the way that they could in a more libertarian society. Finally, I would like to explain the role of capitalism, but without confusing a child with too much political nuance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is some confusion over what the exercise actually is here. The goal is not to explain all political views without pigeonholing anybody. Yes, very few people, especially in America, sit very far outside the center of the spectrum, and many people share beliefs from one end of the isle, and some from the other. The goal is to explain the difference between &quot;left&quot; and &quot;right&quot; wing politics so they can understand what people are talking about when these terms are used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="698" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:38:25.700" LastActivityDate="2017-05-29T13:29:53.237" Title="How do you explain &quot;Right&quot; and &quot;Left&quot; politics to a child without bias?" Tags="|education|teaching|social-development|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="22" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-04-28T19:58:24.360" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are trying to provide an objective definition to a subjective characterization.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In point of fact, your definition as-is seems rather bias-heavy, simply because the meaning of &quot;left&quot; and &quot;right&quot; are so subjective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, you characterize &quot;right&quot; as believing that the government should stay out of people's lives as much as possible, yet there are quite a few people characterized as &quot;right&quot; who feel that the government should define terms and rules that &quot;left&quot; people should not (from an American standpoint, as an example, very few &quot;left&quot; people support government bans of same-sex marriage; the majority of people demanding that the government define marriage as only being between man and woman are very much &quot;right-wingers&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, you are claiming that &quot;left&quot; people feel it is OK to give up some freedoms.  I do not believe that this is universally true for all &quot;left&quot; people, or even the majority (I can't give an example because honestly I just can't think of any freedoms &quot;lefts&quot; support giving up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I don't know that there is a way to do what you are asking (i.e. without any bias).  It is just too subjective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you might consider avoiding discussion of the arbitrary categorizations altogether, and instead focus on the differing perspectives on specific issues.  If you do discuss major political groups, you can talk about how the groups form so that they can work together, and therefore accomplish more than they would as individuals, even though they won't all agree on each issue (i.e. even if a group of people can't agree about how much of a tax break for businesses is necessary to stimulate the economy, they might all agree that &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; tax break is a good idea, and therefore join together as a political party, because a bunch of people saying &quot;we want tax breaks for businesses&quot; is a more effective than them arguing over the details).  This has the added benefit of emphasizing the importance of cooperation and compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;: In response to your clarification: if the goal is to simply give the child a frame of reference for what the terms refer to, then I believe you best bet at minimizing bias would be to be as vague and general as possible.  I would also suggest avoiding mentioning any perceived negatives (or &quot;what they are giving up in exchange&quot;), since that is far more subjective (and, at least in America, most people want to get what they want, without actually being willing to give up anything in exchange).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example: &quot;Right&quot; wing politics usually means people who feel that the best approach is to ensure that all the businesses have an opportunity to do well, and that when businesses do well, it makes people do well, and that makes life better for everyone.  &quot;Left&quot; wing politics usually means people who feel that the best approach is to ensure that all the people have an opportunity to do well, and that when people do well, businesses do well, and that makes life better for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-04-29T00:18:49.633" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T00:18:49.633" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2011-04-28T21:03:10.900" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he behaves like a grampa, I think he deserves to be called grampa. We call my stepfather grandad (even though I call him by his first name).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be more complicated if the real grandfather also is around and resents sharing the title with the step-granddad. In that case I would let the real grandfather have a veto. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T21:03:10.900" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-04-28T21:25:06.187" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem with the whole system is that it's categorized as two opposing sides, when, in reality, most people agree with some points on &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would simply explain specific issues in as neutral a way as possible: &quot;Some people believe X for these reasons, and other people believe Y for these other reasons.&quot; If you try to cover the overarching ideologies, you're going to run into the problem that not even the people who supposedly ascribe to those ideologies believe ALL of those things. Don't feel like you have to give equal time though: some people believe things that are just incorrect. You don't need to teach the controversy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you let them make their own decisions based on the facts. They'll be wrong decisions, but that's fine. The act of choosing instead of having it forced on you is healthier, and the lesson will persist. As they learn more about the world, they won't be afraid to change their thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="697" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T21:25:06.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1153" CreationDate="2011-04-28T21:31:37.370" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Waste of time unless you're speaking it continuously&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My little ones are learning both Russian and English. My wife is a native Russian speaker and I'm a native English speaker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very apparent that as far as the children are concerned the primary language is the one that both parents are speaking regularly. Whenever we're speaking in Russian then we get responses in Russian, if only one of us is speaking Russian, then the responses come back in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting your child to learn a second or further language takes both parents and regular meaningful education, just as it does for the primary language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Articles that may be of interest&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quoting from &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://eyeonkids.ca/docs/files/unesco_mother-tongue_based_ey_2010.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Enhancing learning of children from diverse language backgrounds: &#xA;Mother tongue-based bilingual or multilingual education in &#xA;early childhood and early primary school years&lt;/a&gt;&quot; page 2:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Studies show that six to eight years&#xA;  of education in a language are&#xA;  necessary to develop the level of&#xA;  literacy and verbal proficiency&#xA;  required for academic achievement in&#xA;  secondary school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which appears to imply that 4 hours a week may not be sufficient to create a significant impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further interesting reading on the subject of parental involvement in learning a second language can be found in &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=RepKzVYPZ70C&amp;amp;lpg=PA91&amp;amp;ots=7MTVmWTdYU&amp;amp;dq=scholar%20children%20learning%20second%20language%20english%20primary%20russian%20secondary%20time%20spent&amp;amp;lr&amp;amp;pg=PA100#v=onepage&amp;amp;q&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Practical approaches to foreign language teaching and learning&lt;/a&gt;&quot; by Marta Navarro Coy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="673" LastEditorUserId="673" LastEditDate="2011-05-02T19:45:10.267" LastActivityDate="2011-05-02T19:45:10.267" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1169" CreationDate="2011-04-28T22:16:43.877" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may give him exposure but you will lose the natural &quot;ear&quot; you get when native speakers use the language, my wife speaks Mandarin (she is from Taiwan) to our kids and they've picked it up from her.  My older doesn't like it when I speak because I miss tones and he just tells me to stop speaking Japanese.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try using Chinese kid's shows, to improve your vocabulary and give you something to speak about later, or there are books that teach Bo-Po-Mo that also contains songs and stories, that give more exposure.  We also enroll the kids in a chinese school that does instruction one day a week, with homework, so there is more opportunity to practice.  That may be useful for both of you, if such a thing is available in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure about the development issues, but I also found exposure was the better thing, its a matter of how receptive the child is and how you can keep them going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T22:16:43.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-04-28T23:01:27.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Left and Right is a label that political debaters choose to apply to themselves. For an example, consider demonstrating how many parties in Europe claim to be one alignment or the other yet support actions that contract the values of their similarly-labelled American political parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="699" LastActivityDate="2011-04-28T23:01:27.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-04-29T00:13:32.267" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer&lt;/strong&gt;: I have a daughter, so I usually refer to &amp;quot;the child&amp;quot; as a she. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just think typing &amp;quot;he or she&amp;quot; everywhere is silly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Teaching Politics to a Ten-Year Old:&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Define Politics&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say the first thing is to explain what &amp;quot;politics&amp;quot; is. You have a set of issues, and a set of people who have an opinion on those issues. This is true with government, school, work, and even mom and dad. Someone who &amp;quot;plays politics&amp;quot; will try to have their opinion be the accepted opinion. Those who are more successful at it will be the ones who are able to get their opinion accepted the most, while sustaining the least negative repercussions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;An example she can use&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider if her teacher said &amp;quot;We will have a quiz every day for a month.&amp;quot; She has to balance her power of &amp;quot;I'm the teacher, what I say goes&amp;quot; with the resistance of the kids, since they certainly are not going to like the idea of a quiz every day for a month. If she were a suave politician, she would be able to manifest this opinion without taking negative repercussions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Matching up to the real world&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we are beyond what is easy to discuss. It is important to keep the child focused on the fact that every political situation can be described by the first paragraph. It does not necessarily mean that someone who tries to manifest their opinion, &amp;quot;play politics&amp;quot;, is doing so in a deceitful manner. It just happens that the ones who are able to do so in a deceitful manner are at an advantage over those who don't (because they have extra cards in their hand.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you want to delve into governmental politics, you have to identify the issues that are being discussed. Each politician is going to have a particular opinion on a given issue. In theory, the opinion is going to be the collective opinion of those who elected him. There are plenty of cases where this is not the case. He may have been elected because of his stance on a set of issues his constituents thought were very important, and they were willing to elect someone who felt differently about that one particular issue. It's also conceivable that he lied about a particular opinion on an issue, or merely neglected to make it clear what his position was, in order to get elected. The latter is more common, due to the sheer amount of information available to find out when people flat out lie (although, again, a truly suave politician can convince the voters that a particular issue doesn't matter!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Engaging her on an issue&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would do, if you want a fair introduction, is (after explaining the above background information) take two people with equal influence on the child (parents come to mind) but opposing views on a particular subject. Make it clear to her that it is acceptable to have opposing views, and to be respectful about it. I love my wife, but we disagree on a number of political issues. (We also disagree about who should pick up socks, but that's another story!) I'd also encourage you to, before you tell her where you both stand on the issue, ask her how she feels about it, and &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she feels that way. I would encourage her to make sure that, whenever she can, she bases her opinions on fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Right vs Left&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, she should have the ability to look at an issue and be able to understand the arguments on either side. Right and left can be seen as a set of philosophies (agree or disagree) that lend themselves toward certain opinions on a given issue. For example one might say on the issue of deficit reduction, the left view would be to increase revenue while the right view would be to reduce spending. Of course, both sides will say we need to reduce waste and eliminate tax loopholes, so obviously there is some overlap in their opinions. But not many people would say &amp;quot;we should increase waste&amp;quot; would they? :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;A few personal notes&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As a religious person, I do run into (on occasion) times where I will disagree with whom I am debating on what is and is not a fact. I do my best to avoid facts that are based on my religion. It's not that I don't believe them to be fact, it's merely that it will be impossible to convince someone of your opinion if they will not agree with you on what is fact. Luckily, I also have a firm grasp of a number of scientific disciplines, and know how to find reputable sources of information and am able to mitigate the difficulty run into by this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that this post was formed with -my- political bias as well. I believe we should be respectful of other opinions. I know some people who feel otherwise. I have to admit it's difficult to respect that, which is a true irony, because it implies that I only respect people who agree with me. I don't think that's true - I just think people need a mutual respect to start from, or they won't get anywhere in their debate and might as well not bother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I welcome any and all comments on this approach. I am more than willing to address bias contained in it, as well as logically flaws and all around bad advice, and edit the post appropriately. My goal is to give what I feel is a reasoned, objective approach to hopefully bring up a child who is able to make informed decisions about what she believes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T06:08:10.790" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1181" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-29T02:58:33.687" Score="9" ViewCount="769" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many people have had the fear of losing their child in a busy place or perhaps having their child kidnapped. What type of technology can I use to locate my child if they get lost or kidnapped? I'm not necessarily looking for a specific product, but rather a summary and comparison of the types of tracking products that can be used. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The factors that I would consider important are safety, cost, practicality for children ranging from infant age until 6-7 years old, and ease of use for the parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: I took out 'GPS' from the title to make the question more generic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update 2: Another factor that is important is concealability. How easy can the device be hidden on the child without others knowing about it (perhaps including the child themselves).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2014-05-06T21:23:38.047" LastActivityDate="2017-09-04T12:22:07.827" Title="What type of tracking technology is practical for young children?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1181" CreationDate="2011-04-29T03:08:42.027" Score="14" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Someone with malicious intent will remove/destroy/jam the device.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Someone with good intent will make sure it is working properly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, doing something like that gives bad guys the ability to track your child's movements when they are safe, meanwhile you aren't likely to have recourse if they are taken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like a net loss in security to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if you &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; get such a device, make it a cell phone.  GPS tracking, triangulation by tower reception in the absence of a satellite fix, connection (from which to transmit location) anywhere there is a cell tower, and the ability to call out in an emergency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T03:08:42.027" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1181" CreationDate="2011-04-29T03:44:14.640" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I were to get such a device, it would have the following characteristics:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It should be useful for something else.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It should look like another device, maybe a watch, stopwatch, jewelry, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T03:44:14.640" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1181" CreationDate="2011-04-29T05:19:29.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Such devices already exist, though mainly to locate and recover stolen &lt;em&gt;cars.&lt;/em&gt; They're about the size of a cell phone and work by a combination of GPS and cell triangulation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for &quot;carfinder.&quot; In Austria, the local automobile club offer these ad rentals if you're driving to Eastern countries:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.oeamtc.at/carfinder/?id=2500%2C1142696%2C%2C&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.oeamtc.at/carfinder/?id=2500%2C1142696%2C%2C&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.oeamtc.at/carfinder/?id=2500%2C1114220%2C%2C&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.oeamtc.at/carfinder/?id=2500%2C1114220%2C%2C&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(German)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, here's an English link to the manufacturer:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dolphin-technologies.com/&amp;amp;sprache=en&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.dolphin-technologies.com/&amp;amp;sprache=en&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T05:19:29.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-04-29T05:45:28.297" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;By and large, it's pretty simple. There are exceptions within specific political parties that are primarily driven by the social situation and biases of the members of that party. But the underlying political principles of &quot;Right&quot; and &quot;Left&quot; are readily defined in an unbiased and clear way, entirely independent of political parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Left&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Believes that government and regulation should take a more active role in the lives of the people, helping create a more desirable condition for the people who live under it. This could include social programs, health programs, market regulation, enforcement of important social rules, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Right&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Believes that the government and regulation should be less involved in the lives of the people, with other aspects of society providing that function instead -- be they markets, corporations, community groups, or simply the self-correctional influences of a given environment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people caricaturize these two sides as &quot;big government&quot; versus &quot;big business&quot;, but both neither is necessarily correct. Also, &quot;Right&quot; and &quot;Left&quot; should not be confused with &quot;Republican&quot; and &quot;Democrat&quot;. Though the two parties do tend to lean in opposite directions, they do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; *define* the ideals they often espouse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The irony here is interesting. When two different people can look at the exact same assertion and both be offended by how biased it is... but toward the exact opposite viewpoints -- well, then clearly you will never come up with any definition that both sides would consider neutral.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="701" LastEditorUserId="701" LastEditDate="2011-05-02T05:20:45.513" LastActivityDate="2011-05-02T05:20:45.513" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1186" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-29T06:04:28.100" Score="9" ViewCount="8098" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read a lot on here about children and languages, but they all have to do with spoken language. I am not fluent in any spoken language, but I have taken extensive coursework in Classical Latin and Attic Greek.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the complexity of these languages, when is a good age to start introducing children to the concepts of the languages? Since they are not conversational, I'm not even sure what a good place to start would be. I learned starting with declensions and conjugations, but that doesn't seem like a good start for a language with a child. Any suggestions on how to even introduce them to a child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="599" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:39:58.660" LastActivityDate="2017-10-10T03:34:31.377" Title="What is a good age to start teaching a child Ancient Latin and Greek?" Tags="|age-appropriate|language-development|language|learning|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1146" CreationDate="2011-04-29T06:21:10.327" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;Luckily young children get something of a &quot;pass&quot; when it comes to social awkwardness since the world by-and-large understands what it's like to be a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't go out of my way to downplay the situation. As a parent, your primary responsibility is in teaching the kid, not distracting him or otherwise quashing the social embarrassment. Most people understand &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; principle as well, so &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; get something of a &quot;pass&quot; as well. You don't have to be silent or unembarassing, you just have to be instructive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So instead, address the issue with the child very directly and quickly in a way that the child will find satisfactory and which will help prevent this sort of thing in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, the thoughts going through the childs mind play out something like this:  &lt;em&gt;There's someone over there that looks very unusual; I don't know what to make of it. I'll point it out to Dad because he usually has the answers.&lt;/em&gt; However you respond will instruct him on how to behave in the future when that sort of thing happens again. If you ignore the situation, the kid will get confused and/or frustrated, and will likely escalate the situation -- he pointed it out for a reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would stop, make sure I have the child's attention and say, &quot;No, sweetie, she's not a witch, she's a normal person like you and me. In fact, I don't think she would like it if you called her a witch -- would YOU like it if someone said YOU were a witch?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This (a) addresses the kid's concern (&lt;em&gt;there's a witch over there&lt;/em&gt;) and enlarges the concept of &quot;normal people&quot; to include those that look like she does, (b) establishes that we won't say she's a witch anymore, and (c) gives the kid a good rule that he can apply in the future when someone looks unusual (&quot;would YOU like it if someone called you a ...?&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="701" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T06:21:10.327" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1186" CreationDate="2011-04-29T11:14:25.387" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When they show an interest&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did Latin for one year at school, aged 13. I can whole-heartedly say that it has helped immensely through other education, not because those subjects use Latin, but because the 'lingo-lego' nature of Latin helps you to analyse/deconstruct other words, phrases and languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helped with my Mathematics, Computing, French and Music at school and then has helped my Engineering and Business career in many (often intangible) ways. It helped me to learn (spoken) Chinese by myself, and to decipher Spanish, Italian, Japanese and Swahili phrases when I needed to. Understanding medical diagnoses has also been useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the challenges we had when learning was that nobody really &lt;em&gt;speaks&lt;/em&gt; Latin any more. In the UK, you can see a whole lot of scriptures in churches, cathedrals, on monuments and many older buildings, so as a child, you could see it all over the place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;..but if you're not in a place where you see a lot of Latin around, it can be a tough call to motivate a child to take on a language that nobody speaks on a day-to-day basis. If you could find some interesting/cool audio or movies to help with motivation, that would be a plus. Our Latin teacher managed to find some Roman plays in nearby University theatres, which were huge fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If its offered at school, this would complement any tutoring you wish to give at home, so this would be an ideal age. Otherwise, it comes down to drumming up their interest, which depends on the childs' age and the numerous other distractions they have in their life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T11:14:25.387" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-04-29T16:25:02.730" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &quot;economic self government&quot; vs &quot;personal self government&quot; axes are useful conceptually to see where &quot;right&quot; and &quot;left&quot; fit in.  There's a decent diamond-shaped chart &lt;a href=&quot;http://courses.moodleshare.com/course/view.php?id=38&amp;amp;topic=4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.  It doesn't work perfectly, of course; gun control is an issue of &lt;em&gt;personal&lt;/em&gt; governance, yet the left is restrictive and the right permissive, while &lt;em&gt;trade protection&lt;/em&gt; is an issue of &lt;em&gt;economic&lt;/em&gt; governance yet to the extent that there are tendencies in the U.S., left tends to be permissive and right restrictive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, for the most part, the right believes in economic freedom with personal constraints and the left believes in personal freedom with economic constraints.  Leaving aside why things have turned out this way, I think this is a decent way to introduce the left/right spectrum to a child.  (I do not think the left-vs-right political spectrum line on that page is particularly helpful; to understand why the problematic labels are problematic and where they fit in a spectrum of views requires a lot of background.  Without the background, it's borderline misleading.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T16:25:02.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2011-04-29T16:37:51.627" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think the name that your kids use for him is going to have a major impact on how they view him.  If your mom is worried that your kids do not seem to accept him as warmly as their grandpa as she does as her husband, you should probably have a frank talk with her about that issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your kids already love him, then chances are that &quot;Mr. Joe&quot; is a phrase filled with positive emotions for them.  I'm not entirely sure it's worth changing the name entirely and losing those associations in order to gain the default associations of grandpa or grandfather or grandad or gramps or Grandpa Joe or whatnot.  You should probably consider this carefully and possibly discuss with your Mom and Joe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there are plenty of variants on &quot;Grandpa&quot; to choose from (see above), so you needn't worry about a name collision with other sets of grandparents.  Since your children are used to calling him Joe already, changing the impersonal &quot;Mr.&quot; to a more personal &quot;Grandad&quot; or somesuch, while keeping &quot;Joe&quot;, might be a good compromise that satisfies everyone's preferences adequately.  (Explaining the change should be easy enough: now that he's married to your mom, he's part of the family, so you're going to use &quot;Grand___&quot; instead of &quot;Mr.&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T16:37:51.627" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1191" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-29T17:46:15.513" Score="25" ViewCount="11994" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having grown up with a stay-at-home mom, I wonder what negative impact not having a SAH parent has on young children and elementary school children (who are in alternative care after school).  Let's assume you are trying to be good parents and assume you find the best possible alternative care -- a nanny, relative or day care you trust. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read that it is the quality not quantity of time that matters, but I still worry. This is a rather broad question, but curious others experience especially with children who are now older (or if you yourself had working parents).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:40:20.410" LastActivityDate="2016-12-02T19:06:45.890" Title="What is the impact on kids of having two working parents?" Tags="|daycare|working-parents|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2011-04-29T18:17:35.467" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're still relatively new to the situation (7 months in; 3 if you discount the leave my wife and I took from work after our son was born), but we've definitely noticed some pros and cons, particularly in the daycare vs. nanny/SAH parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pro&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Socialization&lt;/em&gt;.  We've definitely seen some real boost in developmental growth in certain areas due to the time our son has been spending with other children in daycare.  A lot of that also is due to the variation in age ranges within the daycare group.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Building a regular schedule.&lt;/em&gt;  We've all read that infants thrive on a regular schedule.  Daycare makes it much easier to accomplish.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Appreciation.&lt;/em&gt;  We all love our kids.  However, there's something about coming home from a long day of work and realizing you're finally going to get to see your kid again after waiting all day that is positively uplifting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cons&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Control&lt;/em&gt;.  You have less options with someone else looking after your children.  You aren't there to see how they handle conflicts between the kids.  You can't always screen what shows your child will be exposed to if there's a TV present (or, in my case, you can't always say &quot;I don't want my child watching any TV at all&quot; if you are limited for options on babysitters).  You absolutely have to have a daycare provider you trust, but even then you probably aren't going to agree 100% with the way they do things.  As BBM points out, children who are pre-verbal won't be able to effectively communicate any issues that might occur during the day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Socialization&lt;/em&gt;.  The other side of the socialization coin is that you may not be able to avoid exposing your child to other children who you may feel are a bad influence.  There is some benefit to this, though, as it also teaches your child to deal with negative behavior.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Illness&lt;/em&gt;.  Children in daycare tend to get sick a lot more frequently, simply because germs spread so easily and quickly between the kids. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience as the only child of two working (divorced and separated) parents, I don't recall it making much of a difference.  My mother never was one of the parents chaperoning school field trips, but if I ever regretted that, it was while I was still pretty young, and that regret turned to relief after seeing some of my friends embarrassed by their parents during those trips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only other impact I feel it had on me was developing a stronger sense of independence (and possibly less reliance upon social ties, which isn't necessarily a positive thing) from coming home from school to an empty house once I got older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-10-20T18:28:06.980" LastActivityDate="2011-10-20T18:28:06.980" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1193" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1195" CreationDate="2011-04-29T19:22:52.187" Score="9" ViewCount="1666" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 16 month old and she has been taking her diaper off when its messy. She also seems to know when she has to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's the typical age that kids get potty trained?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="517" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T12:52:52.533" Title="When should you start potty training your children?" Tags="|teaching|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1169" CreationDate="2011-04-29T19:37:13.000" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I assume your child is also being addressed by someone else in English? If so, he's getting a very good diversity of words. I wouldn't worry about calling a Polar Bear a &quot;white bear&quot;. It is a bear, and it is white... that's an opportunity to look up a word with him. You might just say &quot;I don't know what the white bear is called. We should find out.&quot;, which I'm sure your Mandarin is sufficient for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is that a child should hear about 3 million words (that's volume, obviously) by age 3. But bilingual children &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/01/110119120409.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;develop advantages&lt;/a&gt; that monolingual children do not, so it's probably a benefit to child overall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-04-29T19:37:13.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1193" CreationDate="2011-04-29T19:54:54.107" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;That is a typical age. They will let you know when they are ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I would make sure you help her know that going on the potty is a very good thing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/potty-training/CC00060&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt; has a good set of questions you should ask yourself before starting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your child seem interested in the potty chair or toilet, or in wearing underwear?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can your child understand and follow basic directions?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can your child ask simple questions?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your child stay dry for periods of two hours or longer during the day? Does he or she wake from naps dry?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your child have fairly predictable bowel movements?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your child tell you through words, facial expressions or posture when he or she needs to go?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is your child uncomfortable in wet or dirty diapers?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can your child pull down his or her pants and pull them up again?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you answered mostly yes, your child may be ready for potty training. If you answered mostly no, you may want to wait a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get discouraged if she loses interest in potty training. It happened with my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T03:57:30.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2011-04-29T21:31:05.763" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are asking very difficult question. I grew up with a working mom in a former Soviet Union, and most of my classmates had working moms. I don't think it had any negative impact. On the positive side, I was pretty independent from around 9 years old - I took public transportation and went to activities myself. Luckily my mom was pretty flexible when it concerned concerts and stuff like that. In fact, my mom's career as an engineer probably impacted my professional choices. I am pretty sure the first time I saw computer (mainframe with punched tape) was at her work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a working mom so I am biased, and every child and mother are different, but I don't think there is much negative impact. This is my take on it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child and you get to learn from somebody with a lot more experience in raising babies, be it nanny or daycare provider.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child gets to socialize with people other than the family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In many cases family financial situation is more stable and family is able to go on more interesting trips and attend more interesting events.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Family can afford more activities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mother does not loose her professional qualifications and still has her job when kids leave for college. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mother gets to take her child to work and show the cool stuff she is working on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids tend to be more independent and adapt easier in different situations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The system (at least in US) is not build for working moms. Parent-teacher conferences, doctor appointments, etc, are usually during working hours.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mother and child don't get to spend as much time together as they might want. (This is a big one for a lot of people).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some things, like concerts and sport games, might have to be missed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Things get very difficult, when children have to stay home because they are sick.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is not easy to work full day and then come home and take care of the house and a child even if you get help from the husband.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You don't have full control of how things are done. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a trade off and for some families cons outweight the pros&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorUserId="574" LastEditDate="2016-12-02T19:06:45.890" LastActivityDate="2016-12-02T19:06:45.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1197" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-04-29T22:26:20.577" Score="10" ViewCount="5657" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming the child is dressed properly and it isn't extremely cold (I'm thinking high 50ºF or 10ºC with wind).  Their hands and face will be exposed and they may be sweaty from running around, but does it impact immunity or health generally to be outside in the cold while young (toddler age, 1-3 or so).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:41:02.967" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T18:41:02.967" Title="Is it healthy for toddlers to play outside when it is cold?" Tags="|toddler|health|sickness|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1198" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1203" CreationDate="2011-04-30T03:09:12.763" Score="5" ViewCount="92664" Body="&lt;p&gt;Noob parent here. I have a 9-mo who's currently pretty stuffed up: snoring, a little wheezing, constantly runny nose etc. I'm not worried about long-term, since it seems to be &quot;only&quot; a cold. But when sleeping are there any hazards? To cut to the chase: can he die from lack of oxygen / inability to breathe?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not to lead the question, but I'm guessing not, considering the human race has survived as long as it has, but I'm a noobie parent and everything is scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="711" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:42:01.483" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T03:25:37.020" Title="Is a cold with a very congested nose dangerous for an infant?" Tags="|infant|health|breathing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1197" CreationDate="2011-04-30T04:07:31.830" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Per&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5184405&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5184405&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pediatrician Lynn Wegner says, in this instance, the science seems to be on his side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;A winter virus is not caused by going out in the cold air,&amp;quot; says Wegner. &amp;quot;It's viral transmission.&amp;quot; In other words, colds are caught by coming into physical contact with someone who already has a cold virus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://fampra.oxfordjournals.org/content/22/6/608.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://fampra.oxfordjournals.org/content/22/6/608.abstract&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A recent study by Eccles is one of the few to suggest a link. Ninety college students dunked their bare feet in a bowl of chilled water for 20 minutes; a control group kept on their shoes and socks while they sat with their feet in an empty bowl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Volunteers in the bare-foot group were three times as likely to develop cold symptoms within five days, according to the study published last fall in the journal Family Practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eccles' working theory is that many people carry around traces of rhinoviruses — the bugs responsible for the common cold — in the back of their noses. Exposure to chilly temperatures causes blood vessels in the nose to constrict, cutting down the flow of the immune system's white blood cells. The virus then flourishes, triggering cold symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Criticism of the study:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there's a flaw in the Cardiff study, says the University of Virginia's Dr. Ronald Turner: The researchers didn't check to see if a virus was ever present. &amp;quot;They measured symptoms,&amp;quot; says Turner, a pediatrician who investigates the effectiveness of cold remedies, like echinacea. &amp;quot;They didn't do any virology, so that study has nothing to do with becoming infected,&amp;quot; he says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 1968 New England Journal of Medicine study remains unchallenged as the definitive word on cold and the common cold, says Turner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJM196810032791404&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJM196810032791404&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Volunteers were first infected with a cold virus, then chilled and checked for symptoms. The study showed that dampness and cool temperatures didn't increase the chance or severity of a cold.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I sometimes wonder if heavy breathing in cold air can irritate the throat and make it more vulnerable to opportunistic viral / throat infections. I don't have any citation to support that, and certainly I wouldn't prevent my child from playing outside all the time just because they &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; get sick .. so take it for what you will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good common sense moderation is perhaps the best advice here -- kids want to play, so let them, but don't stay outside in the cold &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T04:26:50.900" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-04-30T04:19:58.860" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to give a child an unbiased view on anything, you have to let them hear both sides, especially if the topic is biased by nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, if you watch the State of the Union, listen to the response from the other party. If you watch one convention, watch the other, in similar detail. Don't focus on getting it exactly balanced, but make sure there is balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, not all of this will make sense to a child. But, do try and find balance in each opinion, stick to the facts as much as possible, and good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T04:19:58.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1201" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1205" CreationDate="2011-04-30T12:48:09.443" Score="8" ViewCount="89187" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is three months old, and I'm starting to wonder if she's teething.  What would be signs that she's started to cut teeth, and is the age in the normal range for that development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="50" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T06:50:45.857" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T21:43:29.673" Title="What are signs my daughter is teething?" Tags="|infant|teething|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1201" CreationDate="2011-04-30T16:02:17.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be hard to tell for sure because the typical signs can also be happening incidentally - like increased drooling, and/or more crying for no apparent reason. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son showed those signs that early too but didn't start teething until much later, so those signs were a false alarm. But when he did start teething, those signs reappeared. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are benefits and drawbacks of early teething rather than later. Most importantly though, I think the mother will be thankful of later teething if she's breastfeeding because it can be quite painful. One benefit on the other hand is that the baby can start eating solid foods sooner, which is convenient for some parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T16:02:17.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1198" CreationDate="2011-04-30T16:12:35.053" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Plenty of babies have colds and survive just fine. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A stuffy nose doesn't prevent mouth breathing -- so put a humidifier in the room (the cold-water type) to prevent that irritating his throat, watch for fever, and he'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;SIDS&quot; is one of those medical terms like &quot;idiopathic&quot; that means, in layman's terms, &quot;we don't know WTF just happened, let alone why&quot;.  Unless there is new research of which I'm not aware, not even your doctor can tell you what will/won't cause SIDS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T16:12:35.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1141" CreationDate="2011-04-30T16:57:21.693" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on what you're describing, it sounds very similar to issues I have had with my children. In particular, I have had this issue with my 3yo who is the middle child out of 5. The crying and lack of communication sometimes persists, but we have systematically improved the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the key thing is for you to introduce structure. It sounds like you're giving your child too much freedom and responsibility to take care of things on his own, when he is perhaps not ready. This is challenging to recognize, particularly for parents with more than one child, where the older one(s) might be more independent than the younger one(s). It is sometimes hard to mentally separate what each child is capable of doing on their own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While @nGinius has some good points about quizzing and demonstrating with examples, from my experience, this type of behavior modification strategy on its own is generally of little value (with all due respect). It sounds nice, and it is good to introduce ideas, but in my experience taking the approach of quizzing and demonstrating independence does not generally modify a child (or an adults) actions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Behavior modification only happens through consistent long-term one-on-one coaching. You have to spend more time with your child, do more hand holding, and give them more structure. Maintain consistency so they know what, where, when, and how to do a given task. Consistency helps them know when they are supposed to mentally shift from one task to the next. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked for us is to have more structure and predictability in our house:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to follow a structured schedule and post your schedule so that your child can see it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your child notice of events in your schedule. For example, &quot;Son, in five minutes we're going to get our shoes on&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lead your child where they should be. If they're supposed to be tying their shoes, lead them to find there shoes in the location they should always be.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work closely with them to accomplish the activity they are supposed to be doing. If they're supposed to be tying their shoes, sit down and help them get them on. Work with them for weeks, months, or sometimes years until they can do a given task independently.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give them a high five and compliment them for accomplishing each task so well. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all &lt;strong&gt;value consistency over independence&lt;/strong&gt;. Sure, your child may know how to tie their shoe on their own, so its easy to say, &quot;Go get your shoes on, you know how to do it on your own&quot;. But, they may not have internalized the idea that it is their responsibility or that its time to do it (even though you told them its time). Lead them and sit down with them and coach them through it, &lt;em&gt;even if you know that they know how to do it on their own&lt;/em&gt;. Make sure they are doing what they should be doing the way that they should be doing it. Make sure you're supporting them. Independence will come with time, but don't rush it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T16:57:21.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1201" CreationDate="2011-04-30T17:17:32.423" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is possible for a baby to teethe at any age - some babies are born with teeth. The most notable sign is... well, teeth. Do you see swollen gums or little white nubs in her gums? Those would be teeth. Excessive drooling or crying for no reason can be a little hard to identify in a 3-month-old, but you know your baby, so only you can tell what's excessive. At 3 months, they start to drool a bit more and be more vocal anyway, even if they're not teething.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also seen a number of babies that develop bright red cheeks as a sign that they're teething. That seems to be the one least likely to be confused with just typical baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="725" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T17:17:32.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1201" CreationDate="2011-04-30T19:05:37.400" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, three months is in the normal range of development. As pointed our earlier, babies can teethe at any age. My daughter (same age) is also teething. In her case, the signs include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;frequent gum licking and finger sucking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;using the nipple of bottles as a soother when I'm trying to feed her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when she's inconsolable and we suspect teething pains, she settles down quickly when giving her something to suck on (even a finger)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="728" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T19:05:37.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="825" CreationDate="2011-04-30T19:52:50.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just had our second baby in February and we also have a two year old.  It's only been a few months, but he seems to be coping well with having the baby around.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing that is really helping us now is we try to keep his daily routine as regular as possible. For example, story times with me in the mornings, lunch together in the afternoons, dinner as a family, bedtime story with dad and so on... Now, when I have to feed the baby, etc. he seems to do fine because he knows that he's going to be able to hang out with mom and dad too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="729" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T19:52:50.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1197" CreationDate="2011-04-30T21:09:13.173" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I read the title I thought you were talking about temperatures below freezing, but even then my answer would've been the same. I believe that going outside as much as possible, even when it is cold, improves immunity and reduces susceptibility to the colds, it is also important for mental health and overall development. Some of benefits of spending time outside (improves distant vision, helps to stay fit, reduces ADHD symptoms, etc) are listed &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nwf.org/Get-Outside/Be-Out-There/Why-Be-Out-There/Benefits.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; with references to the studies. Honestly, for me 50F is very comfortable temperature and I would not even think twice about going outside with my son. If you are afraid about hands and head exposure, you can put a cap or light hat and gloves on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is always important for the child (and adult) to be comfortable: not cold, not sweating. So it means hat, which covers the ears, mittens and warm snow boots when temperatures are below freezing, appropriate layers which can be taken off when warmer. Personally I believe that it is very important to make sure that feet are not cold. Then you can stay outside for a long time, getting a lot of benefits of outdoors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T21:09:13.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1050" CreationDate="2011-04-30T22:53:21.830" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest reminding children over and over again that they are not the cause of their parents split.  There are a lot of great resources for children whose parents are going through divorce, including great books for you and your children. There are also divorce recovery groups for children. More importantly, though, is to remember that your children need both of you in this time to be constantly communicating with them about any questions, fears, or feelings they might have. They do not need you to encourage them to choose sides, to fight in front of them, or to talk about the other parent in a negative light.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="507" LastActivityDate="2011-04-30T22:53:21.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1211" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-01T00:05:06.583" Score="13" ViewCount="30805" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age are children typically able (and willing) to dress themselves? Our daughter is two and a half and can take her pants on and off and take her shirt off, but cannot put a shirt on herself. She can take her velcro shoes on and off and can take her socks off, but is hit and miss when it comes to putting socks on. And while she sometimes expresses a very keen interest in &quot;do by myself,&quot; more times than not she wants us to help dress (and undress) her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When should we expect her to be old enough to handle these tasks herself? We don't mind doing it at this age, but we are also of the mind that it is good to encourage a child to regularly try to accomplish tasks themselves without assistance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T05:31:58.150" Title="At what age should a child be able to dress herself?" Tags="|clothes|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1211" CreationDate="2011-05-01T06:34:28.360" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids are all different.  I'd be surprised if a 2yo were completely dressing/undressing him/her-self all the time.  I'd be surprised if a 6yo were not doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to encourage self-dressing, buy the easiest-to-use clothes possible: velcro shoes, elastic pants, shirts that button or snap rather than pull over the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-01T06:34:28.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1211" CreationDate="2011-05-01T15:56:06.293" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As HedgeMage said, all kids are different, but you can look here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_toddler-milestone-self-care_6503.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_toddler-milestone-self-care_6503.bc&lt;/a&gt; for general idea. It says there that at yours age child should already be able to take off his clothes, but only after 3 or even 4 he will be able to get dressed all by himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="411" LastEditorUserId="411" LastEditDate="2011-05-01T20:05:53.073" LastActivityDate="2011-05-01T20:05:53.073" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2011-05-01T19:57:19.197" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;From all the classes I have taken (I have a Bachelor’s degree in Human Development and Family Studies), we learned that the primary factors influencing child outcomes when both parents work is the happiness of the parents with their roles. Looking back through one of my textbooks (&lt;em&gt;Child, Family, School, Community: Socialization and Support 7th ed.&lt;/em&gt; by Roberta Berns), it states that when a working mother is happy with working and her job, she has similar relationships with her children as a mother who does not work outside the home. However, if a working mother does not enjoy working, whether the job is stressful or she would rather be at home, it has shown to have a negative impact on the parent-child relationship. Better relationships between parent and child lead to better child outcomes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same can also be said for the other way around. If a stay-at-home parent does not enjoy staying at home and would rather be working, this will have a negative impact on the children. So in sum, each family has to figure out what works for them. All of this though is assuming that children have high-quality care outside of the home and quality time with their parents like you state.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="736" LastActivityDate="2011-05-01T19:57:19.197" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="904" CreationDate="2011-05-01T23:07:23.557" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some great and thoughtful answers so thanks. I'm answering here because the event is over and I think we found a middle way which worked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We camped and surfed as planned but the wedding build up was on the car radio on the way down and I let the kids choose their favourite newspaper (all of them plastered with photos) from the service station and we caught bits of it on the small telly at the campsite reception office. So I think they'll be able to say they remember the fuss of it all and were part of the national mood even though their actual live TV minutes were in single digits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastActivityDate="2011-05-01T23:07:23.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2011-05-01T23:27:31.293" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many names for a Grandad. The important thing is that it should be something only the grand-children (or step-grandchildren) use, so it is intimate, personal and endearing. &quot;Mr Joe&quot; isn't ticking those boxes. Can you find something that does (but isn't &quot;Grampa&quot;)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; Actually, reading again some of your comments, &quot;Mr Joe&quot; does seem to be the intimate and personal name, it's already doing a great job as a &quot;grampa&quot; name and &quot;belongs&quot; to the kids (and to him). Sorry to say it but perhaps you just need to carefully and lovingly help your mum to see this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The artificiality of forcing a name change on all parties might do more harm (certainly more awkwardness) than any potential benefit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="59" LastEditDate="2011-05-01T23:33:38.230" LastActivityDate="2011-05-01T23:33:38.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1169" CreationDate="2011-05-02T04:00:57.133" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up in America, but my parents are both from Iran. My Persian is not terribly strong (probably 3-4 grade level as well), but I try to exclusively speak it to my kids. I find it challenging at times, particularly because there is much more English around them than Persian (friends, in-laws, TV, my wife). But the benefits for my children are worth the effort for me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me the goal is not necessarily to get them to the point of fluency (even though that would be nice). Language proficiency is a sufficient goal. They may not be able to carry on a technical discussion, but as adults they could perhaps know enough to carry on simple conversations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from my personal goals, there are linguistic and cognitive benefits to learning multiple languages from an early age. The cognitive benefits of learning multiple languages from an early age are explained by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.actfl.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=4724&quot;&gt;The American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Languages&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who learn a foreign language beginning in early childhood demonstrate certain cognitive advantages over children who do not. ... Additionally, foreign language learning is much more a cognitive problem solving activity than a linguistic activity, overall. Studies have shown repeatedly that foreign language learning increases critical thinking skills, creativity, and flexibility of mind in young children. Students who are learning a foreign language out-score their non-foreign language learning peers in the verbal and, surprisingly to some, the math sections of standardized tests. This relationship between foreign language study and increased mathematical skill development, particularly in the area of problem solving, points once again to the fact that second language learning is more of a cognitive than linguistic activity.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/07/as_eddie_izzard_notes_in.php&quot;&gt;Another study&lt;/a&gt; finds:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Italian psychologists Agnes Melinda Kovacs and Jacques Mehler have found that part of [bilingual childrens'] skill lies in being more flexible learners than their monolingual peers. Their exposure to two languages at an early point in their lives trains them to extract patterns from multiple sources of information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things you can do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spend as much time as you can around native speakers (family, friends, church, temple, cultural organizations, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make a concerted effort to improve your language skills by learning vocabulary that is pertinent to common dialog you have with your children (focus on commands, household objects, animals, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep a notebook near you and every time you can't remember a word you want to use with your child, write it down. Go ahead and use the English (or other language) word so you can complete your thought with your child. Then, after you learn the Mandarin word, make sure you use it from them on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find a list of most commonly used conversational words in Mandarin and make sure you know the first 300-500.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put your child in language classes as soon as they're old enough (5-6 yo).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play &quot;What is this?&quot; with your child. Point to things and have your child tell you what they are. Using flashcards works well too. I'm sure you can buy Chinese flashcards online. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get some Chinese-language kids TV shows and cartoons that you can play for you child when he gets a little older. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make a commitment to your spouse that you will only speak Mandarin in front of your child. Struggle through it and you guys will notice that you're getting better.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-05-03T18:40:08.317" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T18:40:08.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1201" CreationDate="2011-05-02T04:23:28.377" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A simple Google search will return most everything you want to know on the first result page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/week-24/teething.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;an article&lt;/a&gt; on the website whattoexpect.com:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Drooling. You might find that your baby's shirts are suddenly soggy. Fasten on a bib to keep her more comfortable (and cleaner), and gently wipe her chin throughout the day to stave off chapping (if that doesn't work, ask your doctor about a mild moisturizer such as Aquaphor or even Lansinoh nipple cream). Pooling saliva may also cause a slight cough or even trigger the gag reflex. If she's otherwise healthy, you can safely ignore both.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gnawing. She's not trying to be naughty. Little nips at your fingers, breast (ouch!), or her spoon help relieve the pressure she feels from under her gums.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Crying. Some babies breeze through teething with nary a whimper, while others suffer from a good deal of pain — which they feel compelled to share with you in the form of whining or crying. Talk to your doctor about when to administer pain relievers such as infant acetaminophen or ibuprofen.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fasting. Since sucking movements can worsen teething pressure or pain, your baby may refuse to nurse or eat, or may nurse briefly and then turn away. Keep at it, and call your pediatrician if the strike lasts more than a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Waking. Especially when she's working on cutting that very first tooth, your baby may fuss during the night as well as during the day, so be prepared for a little extra crib-side duty for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teething&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Teething Wikipedia article&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Common symptoms include drooling or dribbling, mood changes and feelings of irritability or crankiness and swollen gums. Crying, sleeplessness, restless sleep at night, and mild fever are also associated with teething. Teething can begin as early as 3 months and continue until a child's third birthday. ... Some of the signs or symptoms that a baby has entered the teething stage will be actions that are noticeable. They may chew on their fingers or toys to help relieve pressure on their gums. Babies might refuse to eat or drink due to the pain. ...Teething has not been shown to cause fever or diarrhea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-05-02T04:23:28.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-05-02T04:59:14.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to be honest, and you want to avoid bias, you have to tell your child that &quot;Left&quot; and &quot;Right&quot; are historical terms, originating in post revolutionary France, that no longer have an objective meaning. In general, they are labels that people attach to themselves to lay claim to some sort of idea, like &quot;freedom&quot; or &quot;compassion&quot;, but that don't actually translate into policies that support those ideas. The reason for this is that the ideas themselves are very scattered and sometimes mutually exclusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also just give them &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the worlds shortest political quiz&lt;/a&gt; and point out that there are more than two dimensions of political identity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-05-02T04:59:14.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1221" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1228" CreationDate="2011-05-02T08:00:59.637" Score="9" ViewCount="2628" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8, 6 and 4 year old. While eating dinner, we watched Obama's announcement on Bin Laden. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With hindsight, it would have been easier to keep the TV off, but I thought it was a good idea at the time. This was a significant moment in history, he's the US president, and ten years from now my kids might vaguely remember watching this, even if they don't really understand it now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To try and explain it quickly and simply, I said that Bin Laden was a &quot;baddie&quot;. My six year old said that baddie's think that they are goodies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The questions kept coming, and now I have to explain terrorists' motivations. I felt like I was pushed into this scene: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-vybA54BF4&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-vybA54BF4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have advice or any links to resources which can help me here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="737" LastEditorUserId="737" LastEditDate="2011-05-02T23:11:35.823" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T09:14:43.657" Title="How do you explain terrorist extremism to children?" Tags="|teaching|death|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1221" CreationDate="2011-05-02T12:14:10.833" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I came across a TED talk about the psychology and motivation of terrorists:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;By leading the Americans in his audience at TEDxPSU step by step through the thought process, sociologist Sam Richards sets an extraordinary challenge: can they understand -- not approve of, but understand -- the motivations of an Iraqi insurgent? And by extension, can anyone truly understand and empathize with another?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/1125&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/1125&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't watched it myself yet (I'm at work) but it &lt;em&gt;sounds like&lt;/em&gt; it would contain useful thoughts that you can use to discuss with your children. &lt;em&gt;Edit:&lt;/em&gt; Have watched it, and still think it's a very useful approach to help understand why some people insist on an opposite worldview of yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Off-topic: TED talks are awesome and cover an incredible range of topics. They're usually 6-20 minutes long.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-23T09:14:43.657" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T09:14:43.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1223" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1230" CreationDate="2011-05-02T17:30:21.470" Score="4" ViewCount="262" Body="&lt;p&gt;Aside from the general allergy risk foods (peanuts, cow milk, etc.), are there any foods that should be specifically avoided if you are trying &quot;baby led weaning&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking specifically for anything not covered under &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/770/when-should-i-introduce-different-foods-to-an-infant-or-toddler&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; that applies specifically to baby led weaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-08-06T14:00:12.843" Title="Are there certain foods that should be avoided when using Baby Led Weaning?" Tags="|health|eating|food|baby-led-weaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-05-02T20:21:03.747" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;We cook one healthy meal at home and put an appropriate amount of food on everyone's plate. You are not forced to eat anything. However, that's what's for dinner, we aren't cooking seperate meals for everyone.  If you don't eat everything on your plate you don't get dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I've found that getting the kids involved in planning and, especially, cooking the meals greatly decreases the fighting over eating them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-05-02T20:21:03.747" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-05-02T20:38:55.870" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most parents don't believe this, but kids will &lt;strong&gt;not starve themselves&lt;/strong&gt; to death for the sake of being persistently stubborn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution is simple. As long as they give you trouble:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't have the foods &quot;they like&quot; around for them to snack on (e.g. not come hungry to the dinner table) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What you want them to eat is &quot;what we've got. We don't have anything else.&quot;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't want to eat? Fine. Hit the bath/bed hungry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll see results within a day or two. They will eat. They will &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; starve. NO more fights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastEditorUserId="869" LastEditDate="2011-05-24T18:55:37.507" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T18:55:37.507" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1221" CreationDate="2011-05-02T21:52:39.467" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;People think differently. For the most part, people around the world are able to get along with other people even though we have different opinions. Some people are not willing to even try to get along with other people. They refuse to accept the fact that others have those different opinions, and will stop at nothing to force those opinions onto others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They use violence when they can because it's very effective. Their goal is not just to hurt people (which is bad enough) but instead their goal is to scare us. They want us to be scared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, this is what comes to mind when I think about what to say. The problem I see is... I don't want my daughter being scared when I tell her this. I would like to think our national security is able to protect us, and would like her to feel safe and secure as well. How exactly I would balance that, I'm not entirely sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2011-05-02T21:52:39.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1221" CreationDate="2011-05-02T22:54:39.580" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience with children, especially young children, the simpler is better. If I was in your situation, I would explain to the children that some people make bad decisions. I would explain that some bad decisions are worse than others (like throwing a toy in the house is “bad decision”, but choosing to hurt somebody else is a “very bad decision”). Then I would explain that the terrorists make bad decisions to hurt other people because they don’t know how to use their words to get what they want. They believe they have to hurt other people to get what they want, which is not true, I would tell them. You could even say that they never learned how to talk about their problems (or their parents never taught them to communicate their needs). If they ask what they want, you could say something along the lines that they want us to live like them, but we don’t want to. You could go into as much detail as you deem appropriate for their development if they ask how they want us to live like them. If they keep asking why they make bad decisions, and they can’t understand it is because they don’t know any other way to get what they want, you could say that sometimes we don’t know why people make bad decisions, they just do. This is true, sometimes we don’t understand why people make the choices they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explaining it in this way will help give children a sense of control over their lives (if they make good decisions, then good things will happen) to help prevent them from getting scared. This is important especially for young children who find it hard to understand complicated topics, which in turn makes things scarier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you may find that changing your tone of voice may help your children find peace with the situation. If you aren’t confident in what you are saying or your tone of voice has a lot of inflection, then that gives the children a sense that there is more that they don’t understand. If your tone has confidence it may help give them some finality. Just be careful that you aren’t using a disciplining tone, because that would be counterproductive and discourage your children from communicating and asking questions from you. Just confident like how you would speak if you were trying to convince an audience something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="736" LastEditorUserId="736" LastEditDate="2011-05-03T13:22:17.327" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T13:22:17.327" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1153" CreationDate="2011-05-03T06:40:05.247" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;To add another point of view to the existing excellent answers, I'd say one important aspect of 'learning a foreign language' is the very notion that other languages exist. For someone who has only ever known English, a plate is a plate: the leap from there to &quot;this is an object which I call a plate, but others call assiette, etc.&quot; is a non-negligible intellectual achievement. If your child only gains that, I think it's probably worth the effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, as others have said, I'd say it's almost 100% that both you and your child are going to completely forget anything you learn if you never actually use it to communicate with anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T06:40:05.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1223" CreationDate="2011-05-03T08:31:35.413" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby led weaning is based on the premise that the baby can identify food before tasting it, so obviously you should avoid nondescript mush. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our son, we really didn't encounter significant problems; we mostly offered him the same food we had. We were given the advice not to offer any spicy food, but once he got hold of some spicy stuff on our plate, he kept reaching for that. In general I'd recommend offering everything that's not a risk for your baby's health, but if you're uncertain, introduce it slowly. When introducing new spices, have a neutral backup ready, just in case. Our backup was applesauce, but things like yogurt might work as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I would recommend to avoid things that cause bad stains, such as chocolate. We've wasted quite a few nice shirts due to chocolate stains. This doesn't apply when your baby is wearing something old anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="613" LastEditorUserId="613" LastEditDate="2011-05-05T19:19:28.520" LastActivityDate="2011-05-05T19:19:28.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1231" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-03T11:46:49.127" Score="2" ViewCount="4233" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/102/how-do-you-feed-a-picky-eater&quot;&gt;How do you feed a picky eater?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try to feed our 24-month-old son the same food for dinner as we are having ourselves. Obviously, we mash or chop it and avoid the strong flavours he doesn't like (curry or garlic).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time, he will point blank refuse without even tasting, demanding apple-sauce or fruit or something sweet. Fruit is good but we want to give him a variety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However if we set up an iPad with sesame street on he'll be so distracted that he'll eat pretty much whatever we put in front of him, even asking for more when he's finished. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we get him to accept the food without the iPad?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="744" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-29T20:41:37.743" LastActivityDate="2020-08-29T20:41:37.743" Title="How to feed a 2-year-old without using an iPad or TV to distract him?" Tags="|toddler|food|eating|screen-time|tablet-computer|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2011-05-03T13:22:09.073" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1231" CreationDate="2011-05-03T11:56:08.610" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try distracting him with something else while you feed him, something he will like.  Often, when our youngest is fussy, my wife will act like she is going to give him a cookie with one hand then put the spoon in his mouth while he is distracted.  She'll do this two or three times then give him a little bit of cookie.  I'm not big on the tv thing for distracting while we eat, we used to do that but found our oldest concentrated on it too much; now we sit as a family and talk while we eat.  I believe good habits start young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T11:56:08.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1231" CreationDate="2011-05-03T12:58:20.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The shovel while distracted might lead to shovel while distracted later in live. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the kid isn't ill or underweight just placing him with some food in front of him should let him eat himself as much or little as he wants. Our kid doesn't needs any more help with feeding, he can use a spoon and fork himself and that made him eat a lot more different foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he reacts negatively to a new type of food I usually place a piece inside his mouth for him to either swallow or spit out. If eh still spits out the food after the third attemp he gets some different food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do remember that smaller kids dislike strange/strong flavours. Just some potatoes and vegetables and he/she should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T12:58:20.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1198" CreationDate="2011-05-03T13:07:24.867" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When in doubt visit a doctor. He will probably say its not a big problem while checking for lung/ear/throat infections. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About your 'human race has survived as long as it has'. Just think back of the billions of kids that died along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T13:07:24.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1146" CreationDate="2011-05-03T13:15:49.917" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd have walked up to the woman and whilst wearing a smile would have asked if she happened to be a witch(esp if she heard it the first time). Then I would have explained to the little one that this woman can't be a witch. heaving a lot of hair and green boots don't make someone a witch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T13:15:49.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1186" CreationDate="2011-05-03T13:19:24.470" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids are good at learning multiple words for the same thing(better then most adults they say). Start with small items and learn them to the kid. Since our first language isn't English I've been teaching our kid small things like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is a red apple&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The apple has the color red.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But only after he understood the words in our native language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T13:19:24.470" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1198" CreationDate="2011-05-03T17:40:03.830" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not a doctor, but based on my child's countless colds which landed him overnight in the hospital once and on oral and inhaled steroids twice (all before he turned 18 months old), I would definitely go see a doctor if you are concerned.  (Turns out our son has cold-induced asthma aggravated by mold we found in our home.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The congestion itself is uncomfortable, but kids will naturally breathe through their mouths if their nose is stuffed up.  I highly recommend using saline drops (make at home or purchase) and using the Nose Frida -- a Swedish snot sucking product (http://www.nosefrida.com/).  It sounds gross but it works better than the suction bulbs which can be too strong.  For extreme cases, your doctor or the pediatric ward of the hospital has mechanical suction tubes which easily clear our noses for kids who can't blow their noses yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The wheezing is more worrisome.  It means he has fluids in his lungs and may have trouble breathing.  When our son was wheezing, he was still happy and chipper and we didn't really worry.  Shortly after that thought, our doctor suggested we get to the hospital asap.  So we learned the hard way that children having trouble breathing and aren't getting enough oxygen in their bloodstream work harder to breathe and lose a lot of energy and liquid by breathing hard through their mouths.  Some bad signs to look for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breathing faster than normal constantly (depends on child, but getting over 35-40 bpm was worrisome to our doctor; my son is at about 28-30 when healthy)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No urine / few wet diapers over a day (getting dehydrated == very bad)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Retraction at the base of the neck below esophagus or below ribcage: if it looks indented as your child breathes, this means they are working really hard to breath.  When healthy, there shouldn't be any hard sucking in that causes the retraction.  (Check your own body out to see.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, when in doubt, go to the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastActivityDate="2011-05-03T17:40:03.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1239" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-03T21:08:10.373" Score="3" ViewCount="838" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old daughter used to brush her teeth without problem. Now all of the sudden she fights not to. My wife gave up after a few days. I decided to take the simple approach and ask her if she wanted me to brush her teeth or for her to do it on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She didn't want either so I let her know we're brushing teach and asked her to choose again. She was not interested so I forced the brush to touch a couple teeth. It was messy but we were doing bath time. The next morning she was glad to do it herself and showed off a little. I thought I was king but now, the next day, again she is fighting not to brush her teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All her teeth are fine and there is nothing in her mouth to cause pain or anything like that. We had it checked out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do I do now to get her into brushing teeth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="563" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:42:57.550" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T18:42:57.550" Title="How do you get a toddler to brush her teeth?" Tags="|toddler|brushing-teeth|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-05-04T04:12:20.857" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Under 8yo you need to brush for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used to have a chair just outside the bathroom and sung the 'kingdom of teeth song' when it was time for teeth brushing, basically a loudly renditioned da da da ta da of the lord of the rings theme song. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Following that I would tell a story about the kingdom of teeth making up something about a mythical land of teeth where the teeth where the entrance to the land and told stories of adventures of knights, princesses and random ducks on a pond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="749" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T04:12:20.857" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-05-04T04:57:57.650" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes some strange trick will work. Our son started to accept his teeth being brushed when he got to hold a hand mirror and watch it from there. He sometimes still asks for the mirror though he's mostly forgotten about it, but lets brush her teeth normally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="103" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T04:57:57.650" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1242" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-04T06:32:21.193" Score="10" ViewCount="10282" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to explain why it is important to make new friends in life.&#xA;Can someone assist me by giving me some reasons I can use to convince someone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm attempting to convince someone who doesn't like to meet new people that it's an important lifeskill&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="750" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:43:46.350" LastActivityDate="2020-07-24T11:22:03.517" Title="How can I explain why it is important to make new friends?" Tags="|friends|social-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-05-04T07:56:00.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid should already know that brushing his/her teeth before sleeptime is part of the drill. What we do is count down from a slowly increasing number (started with 10, 15 the next day currently we start at 100,90,80....25,24...3,2,1) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the countdown our child could brush his own teeth for as long as he wanted too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brushing the front teeth when they exhale can make a funny, blu blu blu sound if you do it correctly which makes brushing the teeth more fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T07:56:00.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1244" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-04T08:50:04.473" Score="113" ViewCount="19667" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son just turned 2, and he started throwing more tantrums on us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't eat well or drink enough milk ... and he is becoming more adamant and says &quot;No&quot; more often. If we force him to drink milk, he cries, cries, and cries louder. His mom is getting frustrated with his crankiness. She is trying timeouts and sometimes spanking. We don't want to do these things. This is our first child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we deal with this phase of tantrums he is going through?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="620" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-09-24T12:07:05.917" LastActivityDate="2019-09-24T12:07:05.917" Title="How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|tantrums|corporal-punishment|" AnswerCount="17" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-05-04T08:55:21.847" Score="168" Body="&lt;p&gt;What we try to do with our two year old toddler is &lt;strong&gt;offer him some (limited) range of &lt;em&gt;choices&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; -- so that he can feel he is in control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for example with the milk, you might let him decide:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do you want milk?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do you want apple juice?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do you want water?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe at this toddler phase they are starting to become people, with their own wants and desires and need to exert control over the world... so when you let them &quot;decide&quot;, even if it is a very constrained set of choices, this gives them an outlet for needing to be in control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as far as tantrums goes, the best thing to do is ignore them and not respond to them so far as you can ... always &lt;strong&gt;ignore the behavior you don't want, and reward the behavior you do.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T08:55:21.847" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1221" CreationDate="2011-05-04T09:06:54.617" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My take on it (for adults and children alike) goes something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many people feel that they deserve a better life than they have, and most of the time they are correct.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most people also tend to split the world into &quot;Us&quot; vs &quot;Them&quot;, because it makes the world much easier to understand. Most of the time they are wrong, and the differences they think exist does not actually exist. This goes for Christians vs Muslims, Left vs Right, Capitalists vs Proletariat, etc. We are all the same, and we are all different, no matter what groups we belong to. There are always many different &quot;Us&quot; and there is no &quot;Them&quot;. (This may require a longer separate explanation).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some evil people use these feelings to get themselves more power. They fool other people into believing that the &quot;Other&quot; group are the ones who prevents you from getting a better life, and that this &quot;Other&quot; group are evil.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; evil people even say that the &quot;Other&quot; group must be killed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This way people who rightly feel that their life is unfair are fooled into killing innocent people. Sometimes as terrorists, sometimes in wars and sometimes in ways that are to horrible to even think about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T09:06:54.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1242" CreationDate="2011-05-04T09:13:14.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I like to play Rock Band.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I can tell you that Rock Band is a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; more fun when I play it with some friends than when I play it alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure the same basic advice goes for many kinds of games -- board games, card games, hide and go seek.. etcetera. It's just more &lt;em&gt;fun&lt;/em&gt; to play with friends, isn't it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T09:13:14.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-05-04T11:10:52.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We''ve had two children's book explaining teeth brushin (in german, so the title might not help you): since then our daughter calls us to brush her teeth&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="169" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T11:10:52.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1249" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1254" CreationDate="2011-05-04T13:03:34.577" Score="15" ViewCount="10234" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven-month-old son just cut his first two teeth.  When do we start to brush them?  Is two teeth enough to brush?  Or should I wait until he has more?  If so, how many more?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T06:52:34.310" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T00:56:40.877" Title="When should you start brushing your child's teeth?" Tags="|hygiene|brushing-teeth|teething|teeth|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1242" CreationDate="2011-05-04T13:18:17.460" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Making friends is important because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The world is full of people,&lt;/strong&gt; so there's no chance that you never have to interact with anyone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things are easier to accomplish if others help you&lt;/strong&gt; because they can help you solve problems and think up new ideas.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's more fun to do things together&lt;/strong&gt; because you have someone you can share the joys and triumphs with.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes you meet people that are hard to get along with. Sometimes you will have to deal with them anyway. Learning &quot;people skills&quot; helps in that situation. You develop &quot;people skills&quot; by &lt;em&gt;being with people&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're among friends (=people who like you) and you make mistakes, then they will be kinder to you than strangers would. When you learn to avoid such mistakes, strangers are nicer to you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes you meet people who want you to do things you don't want to (games, assignments, etc.). It takes practice to avoid those things, or to work toward a solution everybody is happy with.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you're older and have a job, all of the above is even more important because you can't just (leave the playground/go home) but you &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to deal with the other people.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T13:18:17.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-05-04T14:23:34.967" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, we have to understand, why tantrums are so common at that age. From what I understand as a parent, at this age kids want to express a lot more than they are able to. This leads to a lot of frustration and tantrums. The best way to deal with tantrums is not to let them happen: often tantrums happen when kids hungry or tired or miss the nap, so if you know, that this is a direct path to tantrum, don't let you child get too hungry or too tired. Also pick your battles. For example, advantages of milk are not proven, and too much milk can actually cause anemia (See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007134.htm&quot;&gt;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007134.htm&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the tantrum happened, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Any additional attention will only prolong it. So what you can do, is just stop paying attention and let the child cry, or, some people find, that holding their child in a hug helps.&#xA;Usually, during tantrums kids loose control of themselves and this is very frightening to them. When my child was that age I read somewhere the advice to hug the child and to hold him and to tell him that everything is ok and we love him when the tantrum is over.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I followed the principles that I listed above. Either that or I was lucky, but terrible twos were not terrible for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T14:23:34.967" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1221" CreationDate="2011-05-04T14:25:19.317" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually got this questions from my 6-yo son couple of days ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him that there can be a group of people who are extremely disagree with the government. They only way to change things that they see is to explode things, kill politicians and to scare people. Such members of such a group are called &quot;terrorists&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T14:25:19.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1249" CreationDate="2011-05-04T14:27:49.603" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started brushing our son's teeth once he got them out, although he was not into it the thought we had was getting him used to it early.  Many things kids have can have sugar, or cause decay, so even with baby teeth you still want to have a clean mouth.  Problem is whether or not your son will allow you to brush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T14:27:49.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1249" CreationDate="2011-05-04T14:31:51.673" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teeth require brushing. If there are any teeth at all, they need to be brushed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brushing early on helps get the habit in place - &lt;strong&gt;there's no reason to wait&lt;/strong&gt; with that. Even better, by beginning this early, there's less &quot;risk&quot; from those days where you give up for various reasons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T14:31:51.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1249" CreationDate="2011-05-04T15:22:59.753" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started this as soon as he had a few teeth (round about 12 months in our sons case) and found it easier to make it fun,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially one of either my wife and I clean our teeth with him, we clean his teeth then let him hold the brush and &quot;attempt&quot; to clean his own too (he hasn't quite got the hang of this bit at 16 months :) )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once done we ask him to let us smell his breath, this is the bit he really likes as he breathes on our noses and we exclaim how nice it smells, in fact he insists everyone in the apartment smells his breath!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="755" LastEditorUserId="755" LastEditDate="2011-05-04T19:06:49.460" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T19:06:49.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-05-04T15:26:51.887" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just posted this on another answer (more to do with when rather than how) but my answer does explain how we did it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started this as soon as he had a few teeth (round about 12 months) and found it easier to make it fun,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially one of either my wife and I clean our teeth with him, we clean his teeth then let him hold the brush and &quot;attempt&quot; to clean his own too (he hasn't quite got the hang of this bit at 16 months :) )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once done we ask him to let us smell his breath, this is the bit he really likes as he breathes on our noses and we exclaim how nice it smells, in fact he insists everyone in the apartment smells his breath!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="755" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T15:26:51.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-05-04T16:14:09.467" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually found that my first &lt;em&gt;liked&lt;/em&gt; being spanked. Spanking modified behaviour not one tiny bit. Bad attention was better than no attention. On the other hand, being ignored drove her right through the roof, so she'd melt down, and we'd scoop her up and dump her in her room, and let her scream her brains out. When she calmed down, we'd go get her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did it every time, no exceptions, and she ceased the tantrums. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've passed this advice off to parents who have kids with tantrum issues, and it didn't work in two cases, but in both cases I think the kids were capable of escalating it to a point where the parents felt like they had to back down. If they can face you down, they will. Make no mistake, it's a battle of wills, and if you flinch first, they'll know they can wear you down. Public tantrums are the worst: if they learn that you're not going to punish them in public, they'll use that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the short version. Find something that they hate, and do it whenever they go berserk. If they love their toys, take their toys. If they crave activity, put them in time out. If they crave attention, stick 'em in their room. Don't be afraid of the occasional spanking, but don't do it if it doesn't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For ours, with the milk thing, bribery worked fine. If she wants juice, she drinks her milk first. If she wants desert, she drinks her milk first. Don't worry about it too much though: the milk guidelines are ridiculous. If your kid gets 1/8th of that a day, they'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="697" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T16:14:09.467" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-05-04T17:52:05.987" Score="88" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a similarly strong-willed, opinionated toddler.  A few additional tactics to suggest here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Redirection -- this works a lot of the time.  Our child can't communicate well but usually I can tell what he wants (e.g. more cereal before dinner).  I will &quot;misunderstand&quot; him and throw a redirect, e.g. &quot;oh you want to help take the onions out to help me prepare dinner!!&quot; (onions being near the cereal).  Many times, this novel, more exciting idea gets him hooked and he nods and we're off not doing the thing I didn't want him to do.  Also have tried the &quot;look over there, an airplane!!&quot; trick in different ways, e.g. &quot;hey there's someone taking a walk outside, let's go see if they have a dog!!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't say no unless you have to -- hearing &quot;no&quot; gets old and is frustrating.  Imagine proposing an idea or request at work and immediately hearing &quot;no&quot;: not fun.  I try to save &quot;no&quot; for safety and other house rules.  If he starts coloring on the hardwood floors, I will say, &quot;why don't we go get some more of the big construction paper to color on?!!&quot; (redirection again).  I've noticed that he reacts MUCH better to &quot;ok... but how about doing X instead&quot; versus &quot;no, don't do Y you have to do X&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Know when your child is more likely to throw a tantum -- when he's tired or otherwise uncomfortable.  In these cases, don't bother getting mad, it's not worth it.  Toddlers can't help themselves and you should take the high road, give in here and get him to bed or fed fast.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try not to get mad.  I read this trick where you should say aloud to your child when he is misbehaving, &quot;what are you 14 months old???&quot; It reminds you that yes, your child is only 14 months old and learning what it's like to live with you as parents.  Getting mad doesn't help you or your child.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy these early years, painful as tantrums can be, because you will likely miss them and they will be over sooner than you realize (plus dealing with a teenager can't be more fun)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T17:52:05.987" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1259" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1262" CreationDate="2011-05-04T18:22:43.207" Score="6" ViewCount="1238" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parenting vocabulary is quite limited, and Google Translate can help that much. Hope you understand me anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son had colic for four months, he is ten months now. The colic resulted in bad sleeping habits. Well. He sleeps well when he finally goes to sleep. But getting him there is a challenge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is that he is quite active when he is awake and everything seems to be game to him. Sleeping is no fun according to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried to put him in his bed when he is almost asleep, but it's like letting a bomb go off. He is suddenly 100% away and starts playing in his bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do is to go and rock (might not be the proper verb) him until he fell asleep. It can take from five minutes to an hour, which can be quite frustrating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used a middle approach. The last two times I've got our son to sleep in five minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is old enough to stand in his cradle, which made it hard to just put him down and go out from the room. What he did was to just stand and wait, and then stand and scream/cry. He can do that for a long time and as I tired parent I gave up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always used the same routine every night (and almost the same time every day) and that didn't help much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do now is to just sit next to the cradle with him in our lap. He can mess about all he want as long as he is lying in our lap. We do not talk or look at him. If he tries to stand or do something, we just lay him down again. It works much better than trying to mess with him in the cradle. And it works every time. First week took about an hour each time, so five minutes feels like a victory :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="102" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:52:04.157" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T03:10:52.150" Title="How do you establish good sleeping habits after dealing with colic?" Tags="|toddler|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-05-04T18:37:49.413" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only piece I would add to the excellent answers so far is that these techniques will also work for the later phases when tantrums may sneak back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are various stages when children want to do things they either physically can't or know they aren't supposed to and want want to push boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Redirection, ignoring them and sending them to their room are almost as appropriate for a ten year old as a two year old, so find techniques which aren't too stressful for you as parents and remember them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T18:37:49.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1259" CreationDate="2011-05-04T18:49:00.407" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many parents face this issue around this time. Basically there are two approaches:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;So called CIO (Cry it out)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No crying &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea of CIO is that children need to  learn to fall asleep on their own which might require a little crying in the beginning. There are several books describing this approach with some variations: Ferber (Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems), Marc Weissbluth (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) and others. They suggest putting the child to bed and leaving him alone, coming back to soothe at certain interval (3,5,7 minutes or every 5 minutes with intervals getting longer everyday). I suggest reading the book first before starting this approach because it gives you an understanding of why you are doing certain things which makes it easier to hear baby crying. Usually it takes less than a week to get the baby to fall asleep on his own. These books also advocate set schedule, early bed time and naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not familiar with second approach so can't talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T18:49:00.407" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-05-04T19:16:39.880" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We sing the song (Ariel's theme) from Little Mermaid while we brush, the kids get a kick out of it and encourages them to open their mouths wide for the ahh-ahh-ahhs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T19:16:39.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-05-04T22:14:51.743" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We limit video game time to the weekends (Fri/Sat/Sun).  Even so, it was still hard to get our kids to put the controllers down/limit the hours they spent on those days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently instituted a system of rewards so my kids can earn credits they can redeem for Wii time.  They can earn one Wii buck for helping around the house during the week, complying with special requests, etc. Each Wii buck is worth 30 minutes of play and they can only earn 4 Wii bucks for each weekend day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A nice byproduct of this is that they're starting to learn budgeting (they don't want to blow all their Wii bucks in the first 2 hours of the day), and I have a good way to incent them to do things they are reluctant to do during the week.  It's a lot easier for them to understand &quot;you only have 2 Wii bucks left&quot; than &quot;you've already played for an hour and forty-five minutes so you only have fifteen minutes left.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="765" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T22:14:51.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2011-05-04T22:37:48.190" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The two most common mistakes I've seen is putting kids to bed when they're not tired, and not adjusting their sleep schedule as they get older.  It might be a clue if you put your kids to bed at 6:30, they scream for a half hour that they're not tired, then you have to put them back in bed every half hour until midnight, then they wake up at 6.  Also, kids don't need as much sleep when they get older, but parents often try to hang onto their evening alone time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At our house, we start getting the kids ready for bed at 8, and in bed by 9 at the latest, which is kind of late compared to most of our friends and family, but many of their kids are still popping out of bed past the time our kids are fast asleep.  Also, our rule is the kids have to go to bed sooner when they are acting tired, conveniently defined as most things that disturb the parents' quiet time ;-)  The toddler is often in bed by 7, the 4 year-old by 7:30-8, and the almost 7 year-old usually actually &lt;em&gt;asks&lt;/em&gt; to go to bed around 8:30.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing that helps is putting them back in bed &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt; after they get out.  If they get to sleep with mommy and daddy for a while, or play for a half hour before you catch them, they've already reaped the benefits and have no incentive to stay in bed.  To help with this, we bought a wireless door chime for their bedroom door, the kind like shops have to let them know a customer entered.  We only had to use it around a week for each of our permanent children when they first started coming out of their room.  It took about 3 weeks each when we had foster children that came to us &quot;untrained.&quot;  Also, don't give up.  You might have to put them back in bed 10 times the first night, but they will give up sooner and sooner every night, until they don't bother trying anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-04T22:37:48.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1242" CreationDate="2011-05-05T11:03:39.663" Score="5" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fun: Not all people are fun. But the more people you meet, the more fun people you will meet, and the more fun you will have, and it will be easier to avoid the people who are not fun.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Growing: Great people usually comes in groups. I once saw a documentary about British punk. They talked about a group of kids (several from the from the same suburb in London) that used to go into London to see early Sex Pistols concerts. That group of friends included the people like Siouxsie Sioux, Adam Ant, Steven Severin, Billy Idol (yes, they all took silly names) who all became respected and well known rock stars. While at Santa Monica High School, Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe and Sean Penn made movies together. Is it chance? No. Groups like this inspire and push each other to get better. They don't just recognize talent in each other, they create talent in each other. It doesn't matter if it is music, movies, computers or science, and it can be in high school, university or societies. If you want to be great, you have to find like-minded people and be greater together. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Career: The last job I got without using my contacts was in 1991. If you can't make friends, nobody will recommend you to their friends, and you'll get stuck in crap jobs.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Help: When you have a tricky problem you need help with, maybe it's studying in school maybe you need someone to help you when you are repairing your bike, or your car, or to help you carry the sofa when you move, the more people you are friends with, the more people will help you. This of course means you will help them too, and everyone gets help. That's what friends are for.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-05-05T11:03:39.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2011-05-05T12:37:14.327" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;With both of my two kids, we had great results with a clock designed for toddlers — something with a cartoon day picture, and a cartoon night picture, which are lit depending on whether it's time to stay in bed or time to get up. We made our own, but there's several commercial products &lt;a href=&quot;http://smile.amazon.com/Claessens-Kids-KidSleep-Nightlight-White/dp/B00C0XNITU&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;including this one&lt;/a&gt;. (Or search for &quot;toddler alarm clock&quot; for many others.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like all such techniques, it'll vary a lot from child to child. For our oldest, it worked well when she was two, and then pretty much stopped. But the younger one is much more concerned about &lt;em&gt;structure&lt;/em&gt;, and she's followed it pretty religiously so far (and she's 4½ now, just like yours).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="178" LastEditorUserId="178" LastEditDate="2015-10-06T01:15:33.827" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T01:15:33.827" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1242" CreationDate="2011-05-05T21:54:16.703" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are some good answers, but I wanted to speak up a little for us introverts to provide some counterpoint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a big difference between being &lt;em&gt;able&lt;/em&gt; to get along with new people and &lt;em&gt;liking&lt;/em&gt; to meet new people.  As hard as it is for extroverts to believe, introverts are more comfortable alone.  When we want to unwind, we seek solitude rather than a night on the town.  That doesn't mean we don't have a small group of close friends, or never want to be social, just that it &lt;em&gt;expends&lt;/em&gt; mental energy for us to be around others rather than being rejuvenating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not healthy to take to extremes, but everyone has a different balance point.  If an extrovert has 5 free evenings, maybe he will want to spend 4 with other people and one at home by himself.  An introvert may have the reverse preference, but they both have a good balance.  By all means, encourage a child who never has any social interactions to do so, but don't worry if he goes a couple weeks in between, or prefers one-on-one or very small gatherings.  You don't have to enjoy working a crowd to be happy and have friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-05T21:54:16.703" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1211" CreationDate="2011-05-05T22:04:40.567" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter sounds right on track.  I think the important thing is to continue to let her try even if she doesn't succeed.  I've seen parents say &quot;she isn't old enough&quot; to do something, so they always do it for her, then wonder why when she is &quot;old enough&quot; she doesn't suddenly know how to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-05T22:04:40.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1272" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-05T18:35:22.703" Score="5" ViewCount="7639" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11/how-do-you-decide-if-a-movie-is-suitable-for-young-children&quot;&gt;How do you decide if a movie is suitable for young children?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was watching the latest series of Doctor Who with my children and I found I was constantly having to reassure them that everything was OK. Some of it reminded me of some horror movies I have seen. Is this really suitable for children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Macca" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T07:02:02.100" Title="Is Doctor Who too scary for children?" Tags="|television|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2011-10-03T13:25:12.927" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1273" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-06T00:27:41.983" Score="12" ViewCount="1039" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find it quite hard to wash my toddler's hands in a public restroom which may have a very wet counter and otherwise be a bit dirty. It's hard to operate soap dispensers which require two hands to use.  Also, he loves grabbing at the faucet and handles, to the point where I think his hands might be dirtier than when we started.  Tips?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:52:45.733" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T02:22:06.077" Title="How do you wash a toddler's hands in a public restroom?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1272" CreationDate="2011-05-06T00:42:38.570" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;With Stephen Moffat at the helm, I think we'll see some scary Doctor Who episodes this season. Some (or many, if we see more of the Silence) will probably not be suitable for younger kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sarah Jane Adventures is a Who spin off that's targeted to a younger audience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reference, Moffat also wrote the Doctor Who episodes Blink and Girl in the Fireplace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T00:42:38.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1273" CreationDate="2011-05-06T01:02:30.093" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how tall your toddler is or even if they can stand yet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is now 4 and quite tall, but I previously used to let him stand on my shoes in front of me which gave him enough height to reach over the top of the counter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone has to touch the faucet / handles so you're not going to escape that. What I used to do was wash his hands inside mine and make sure there was plenty of soap. Then once finished take him over to dry your hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think if the faucet / handles are dirty; if your hand are thoroughly clean, but still a little wet, if you dry them properly after touching the handles you don't really have an issue with germs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a hands on approach and will ensure your child's hands are properly soaped, washed and dried. Then you should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also (slight product plug) you can use a hand sanitizer after you have dried off if you are still worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T01:02:30.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1272" CreationDate="2011-05-06T01:15:03.533" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you should teach your child when to say they are uncomfortable with something. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an important thing for them to learn. It means that they can decide for themselves &lt;strong&gt;in borderline cases&lt;/strong&gt; when you have already decided they can watch, but they are not enjoying it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the same experience with my son who likes watching animated movies, but will tell me if he's feeling uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prefer not to be over protective as the world is a scary place, but it's about the child being comfortable and not traumatised. If you constantly have to reassure them, it's probably too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T01:15:03.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-05-06T02:54:11.350" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe you could start by finding an activity that involves your phones gps. Try geocaching  or one of the other games that requires you and your son to get outside together. ...photography maybe? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="739" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T02:54:11.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-05-06T03:55:46.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get a good parental control software, or a Mac, where those things are built in. You can specify &quot;max hours of usage&quot; on a school day, or weekend, and also bound those hours in a time window (e.g. 9am - 7pm).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a good way to limit the usage without having to &quot;work&quot; as a hall monitor. Your kids should not have administrative access to their computers. You should have that privilege.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T03:55:46.687" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1273" CreationDate="2011-05-06T04:23:15.883" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The approach I use with my son is to lift my leg up and put my knee against the counter, then set him on my thigh (with a leg on both side). This way he can get to the sink without getting too close to the not so very clean areas and I can keep a hold of him and help. About the only downsides are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the knee of your pants can get filthy if the sink isn't too clean.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if he swings his legs in excitement at playing in the sink, you get kicked in the crotch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T04:23:15.883" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1272" CreationDate="2011-05-06T05:54:34.663" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.commonsensemedia.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Common Sense Media&lt;/a&gt; review of the new series (as recommended in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/502/where-can-i-find-reliable-video-game-board-game-movie-and-toy-reviews-which-are&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;) suggests:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Not age appropriate for kids under 8, age appropriate for kids over 10; suggested age 10.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are really five sets of Doctor Who TV:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1102732/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;K-9&lt;/a&gt; - this is aimed at children, and generally plays on channels aimed at children (e.g. Cartoon Network or Disney Channel).  The show isn't very scary at all, although it's probably not very interesting to children under about 6, or anyone over about 16.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0862620/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Sarah-Jane Adventures&lt;/a&gt; - much like &lt;em&gt;K-9&lt;/em&gt; (i.e. not scary), but for slightly older children (perhaps 8+), and more watchable by adults.  Note that since Elisabeth Sladen (who played the titular character) passed away this year, there will presumably be no new episodes of this show.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056751/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Doctor Who&lt;/a&gt; (original series, i.e. 1st through 7th Doctors) - this isn't a children's show, it's a family one.  The difference is particularly in &quot;scariness&quot; and appeal - children and family shows will both avoid violence, sexual material, and so on, but a family show will have more complex story lines and may be too scary for young children, especially alone.  The majority of the scary parts in the original series came from the villains (e.g. the Daleks), which are (of course) rather dated-looking now.  If something that looks like a monster isn't scary, then the original series is probably fine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436992/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Doctor Who&lt;/a&gt; (new series, i.e. 9th Doctor onwards) - like the original series, a family rather than children's show.  Although some of the villains here are scary-looking, there's also more psychological terror than the original series had.  The result is that it's often &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; scary (than the original series) for young children (e.g. under 5), but &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; scary for older children (5-8), because they are able to understand more of what there is to be scared of.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0485301/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Torchwood&lt;/a&gt; - aimed at adults only.  There's plenty of sexual content and violence, although I wouldn't say that it's particularly scary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The new series varies a lot in the tone.  Some episodes are very light and there's little, if anything, that would scare even a child.  Others, like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1000252/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Blink&lt;/a&gt;, could scare an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've watched many episodes of the new series with my four-year-old.  However, I've only watched repeats with him, and there have been a few episodes that I've skipped past.  This is a good way to enjoy watching the show together, without having to worry that a terrifying moment might be around the corner (and since you know your own children best, you're in the position to make that judgement).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it turns out that this doesn't leave many episodes in your children's case, or if you'd prefer to watch something you haven't seen, then watching &lt;em&gt;The Sarah-Jane Chronicles&lt;/em&gt; (or &lt;em&gt;K-9&lt;/em&gt; at a stretch) together is a good compromise - you get to enjoy the occasional references and tie-ins with Doctor Who itself, and when they're a bit older they'll be able to move on to Doctor Who and learn more about the stranger that Sarah-Jane is always talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="84" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T05:54:34.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1273" CreationDate="2011-05-06T07:35:29.907" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wait with using the sink at such public rest rooms until later on when the child is better able to handle it. Instead, &lt;strong&gt;use wet wipes&lt;/strong&gt; from your baby bag for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T07:35:29.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1282" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-06T10:10:45.470" Score="25" ViewCount="8825" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you're a Dad on your own you take your small girls into the Gents with you. Mums take their sons with them to the Ladies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age should we stop doing this? I guess the answer changes depending on whether we're talking about train stations or airports with lots of anonymous, crowded traffic. Or just your local pub. With shopping centres somewhere in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what are the range of answers, depending on location?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2015-01-04T09:30:45.900" LastActivityDate="2019-11-20T15:58:21.187" Title="At what age should a child stop accompanying a parent into the &quot;wrong&quot; public toilet?" Tags="|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1282" CreationDate="2011-05-06T11:03:30.700" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Aside from your comfort with the location and requirement to ensure to their personal safety, as soon as they don't need help toileting and washing their hands. This could be as early as 3 or 4, or as late as 6 or 7, or later depending on the location. As children approach puberty, mixed bathrooms become less appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I avoid this awkwardness by using family washrooms or special needs facilities where available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T11:03:30.700" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1282" CreationDate="2011-05-06T11:50:08.257" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;My local Health club has stated no one over 5 years old may enter the wrong changing room.  Being a man, and knowing that dressing kids before and after a swim is like herding cats, I am obviously chuffed having all girls.  However, I think it's a bit arbitrary.  I have an 8 year old with whom we both have no issues changing in front of. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My view is that the moment the child becomes uncomfortable with it, or you become uncomfortable with it, is the time to stop it.  My 8 year old is starting to 'develop' and I don't think it will be long before she will prefer being on her own changing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with most things in this 'category', I think it is all going to be about how you both feel about it.  The moment one of you feels iffy about the situation, is the moment to change, imo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:06:42.793" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:06:42.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1272" CreationDate="2011-05-06T11:53:03.390" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had middling success with my 5 year old, although my wife doesn't like the current Doctor as much as Christopher Eccleston it's still a fairly good family show depending on the episode.  Some definitely take a darker turn, although the current US series looks promising...it was weird but of all things my son took to the Daleks more than anything in the current seasons.  Some of them have bored him a little as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He knows to tell us when he doesn't like a show, when that happens we turn it off or watch something else, the important thing is to make sure the kids know they can tell you and that its all right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="1370" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T07:02:02.100" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T07:02:02.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1273" CreationDate="2011-05-06T11:53:15.760" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As has been said, I prefer using wet wipes and/or a sterile handwash gel.  I will also sometimes, wet their hands, soap them and then wipe them with wet towels, before drying them.  It's a hassle at times, but jeez, some of these toilets...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T11:53:15.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-05-06T11:59:26.207" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I try and do the thing they most dislike.  We don't use violence in the house, so we use other methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found that the best way, in order to punish a child, for us, is to remove some favoured toys/activities form them for a couple of days, reminding them at appropriate times why they are missing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for tantrums, only one of our children ever had tantrums (I quickly found shouting at any kids extremely counter productive).  The only thing that would calm her down, would be to get to her level (not lifting her), hold her hands (gently by her side) and explain in a very level, and calm voice, it wasn't acceptable; I'd hug them and tell them you loved them as well.  99/100 it worked, with her, distraction is also a good method, but if the mood has swung, this can rarely get a child out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in Waitrose, I have had to put her in a quickly produced naughty corner (aptly by the Brussels sprouts) during one tantrum.  To be frank, they quickly stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:07:11.387" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:07:11.387" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1273" CreationDate="2011-05-06T13:07:34.910" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually ill make my own hands very wet and simply rub his hands clean. Together with wet wipes for the sticky dirt it works great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T13:07:34.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1289" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1291" CreationDate="2011-05-06T13:30:00.737" Score="11" ViewCount="772" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is much easier and safer with multiple small children to corral them into the ample disabled toilet, than (as a Dad) to manage them amongst the stalls and urinals of the gents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to admit I have done this before, especially in places where the gents toilets are unhygienic or large and crowded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a generally accepted view that this practice is reasonable or unreasonable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2015-01-04T09:30:16.407" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T09:30:16.407" Title="Is it reasonable for parents with small children to use the disabled toilet?" Tags="|special-needs|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1289" CreationDate="2011-05-06T14:13:11.993" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Considering that many public restrooms place the infant changing stations in the disabled stalls, I think that this is acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T14:13:11.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1289" CreationDate="2011-05-06T14:27:48.373" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not disabled myself, but my daughter has cerebral palsy, so I think about things from her point of view a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My opinion is that you should give priority to someone waiting who needs a disabled stall, but don't worry about using it otherwise, whether you have small children with you or not.  While I appreciate people who go out of their way to help my daughter, I don't consider it horrible to have to wait a little bit like anyone else sometimes.  In fact, we are accustomed to patiently waiting for accommodations, such as at restaurants we often have a longer wait than others in order to get a suitable table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not to say other people won't be &quot;shocked and appalled&quot; that you forced a disabled person who came in after you to wait a few minutes, but in my experience with my daughter and other acquaintances, the person himself probably won't mind at all, and their opinion is more important.  Not to mention the chances of making a disabled person wait are very small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T14:27:48.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1272" CreationDate="2011-05-06T15:54:59.957" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you don't need to worry all that much about that. Being scared at stuff is part of growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They may be scared by some of the contents of Doctor Who and even have horrible(from their point of view) nightmares, but that is part of being a kid. They'd fear Elmo, their shadows, or the lady upstairs, otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reference, as a kid, I had lots of nightmares after watching &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091544/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Monster in the Closet&quot;&lt;/a&gt; which is a silly parody of monster movies with gay allegories(rated PG in the US). I also had lots of nightmares for no objective reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user781" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T15:54:59.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1293" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1297" CreationDate="2011-05-06T17:29:01.733" Score="48" ViewCount="6547" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a very bright child (just turned 7), he is not a genius by any stretch, but he reads way past his level (really liked Hatchet, and Call of the Wild), understands somewhat complex mathematics (basic algebra, series, trig), and is proving to have a knack for chemistry and geometry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to gather information on what people think on how to formally educate a gifted child. My wife and I want him to have a normal childhood (school, some sports, clubs, social activities), but we also want him to achieve everything he is capable of. Right now he is at a private school that we think is better than any of the other options around. That said, he is not usually challenged and is often bored with his school work. He does enjoy the school though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have considered home schooling (my wife and I both have advanced degrees), but are concerned of the social implications of doing so. We have also though of moving him ahead a grade or two, but we worry about that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do not agree with the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1594202842&quot;&gt;Tiger Mother&lt;/a&gt; approach, but the classic American education is not enough either, at least not anymore. I would really like to hear what somebody who has been there, or is currently there, has to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="760" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-05T19:02:35.077" LastActivityDate="2013-01-07T19:42:18.500" Title="How does one formally educate a gifted child without wrecking childhood?" Tags="|education|social-development|gifted|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1294" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1305" CreationDate="2011-05-06T17:38:21.793" Score="5" ViewCount="3663" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're using Playtex drop-in bottles, and they say not to microwave. I don't know much about bottle warmers because our daughter would drink room-temperature milk until just recently (she's 1 y.o. now and we're trying to get her to sippy cups rather than bottles). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only two ways I've tried are (with 1 being my preference):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Heating up water in a coffee mug, then putting the milk filled bottle in the coffee mug full of hot water. (This keeps me from heating up the milk too hot)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Heating up the milk in a microwave safe container, then pouring that into the bottle liner. I've gotten it too hot this way a few times and had to cool it off.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="223" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:53:27.073" LastActivityDate="2018-08-02T21:42:08.650" Title="How do you warm the milk in a-drop in liner style bottle?" Tags="|feeding|formula|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1295" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1298" CreationDate="2011-05-06T17:44:06.360" Score="6" ViewCount="43280" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you warm up whole milk prior to feeding a child and the child doesn't drink it all, can you save it by putting it in the refrigerator to warm up again later? Is this a bad idea?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="223" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T18:40:33.700" Title="If you warm whole milk, can it be saved in a refrigerator?" Tags="|feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2011-05-06T18:04:28.647" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well you could always try for after school classes or tutoring, like Kumon or some such thing, that would provide the extra challenge over school while still giving your child some social interaction.  I'm not all that much in favor of the Tiger Mother approach either, though my wife does some of that anyway since she is Chinese and pushes the education, but we don't heavily punish for failure either.  We provide an environment, and opportunities, for our kids to push themselves.  Maybe give your child some side projects to do for you or your wife, write reports or problems sets or whatever, and see how your child does with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T18:04:28.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2011-05-06T18:15:02.533" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a related &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/203/bright-kids-boring-school&quot;&gt;question&lt;/a&gt;, a user linked &lt;a href=&quot;http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/human-relations/56224.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; article.  It might be relevant to your concerns about the social implications of home schooling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if your child enjoys his current school, then I would suggest simply adding in in-home supplemental education.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow your child to pick subjects (or suggest a list of possible subjects, if you'd like), and do a project on the chosen subject each evening after school.  If you feel your child needs more work on a given subject, you can specify that it be a mandatory topic for certain nights (&quot;math Mondays&quot;, &quot;History night&quot; on Tuesdays, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each project should be interesting, educational, and advanced enough to be challenging.  There's a wide range of possibilities for any given subject, from simple research ending with your child explaining what he learned to you (&quot;...and that is how radios work!&quot;), to experiments (&quot;tonight we're going to start recreating &lt;a href=&quot;http://anthro.palomar.edu/mendel/mendel_1.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mendel's genetic experiments&lt;/a&gt;&quot;), to applying knowledge to craft and hobby projects (some of the projects in &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1592405525&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this book&lt;/a&gt;, for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important goal for you is to make sure that learning things continues to be fun for your son.  It is hard to change a child's mind once they've decided that learning is &quot;boring&quot;, and if your child is already finding his school work boring, it is likely to only get worse without intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T18:15:02.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1295" CreationDate="2011-05-06T18:40:33.700" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have done it with both of my children, and never had a problem. That said, we never let it sit more than half a day. Do make sure you seal the container though. Odor from other food in your fridge can get into it if left open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also note that pasteurization is nothing more than heating raw milk to a 161F and then cooling it back off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it looks or smells funky obviously you would want to throw it out. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="760" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T18:40:33.700" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1289" CreationDate="2011-05-06T19:27:27.700" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we were traveling, my wife used to take my daughter to the disabled toilet if it was unoccupied - it was just so much easier. That is until I saw a disabled girl needing to go while there were using the toilet and I saw just how upset she got. After that, we avoided using it as much as possible and when we did, we were as fast as we could be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T19:27:27.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1289" CreationDate="2011-05-06T23:06:09.943" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't see why there would be anything wrong with using a disabled toilet, whether you have small children or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toilets are there for everyone to use and sometimes you may need to wait to use a toilet because others are using it. A disabled toilet is there to give extra room to a person who may need it, but I don't see why needing that extra room would also confer the right to not have to wait if it's in use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I think it's courteous to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; use the disabled toilet if it can be helped - for instance, if you can use a regular toilet and there is one available - but if the only available toilet is the disabled toilet or if you need the space because of small children, I don't see the harm. And someone who would get upset otherwise is being oversensitive, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2011-05-06T23:06:09.943" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2011-05-07T03:57:49.677" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a &quot;gifted&quot; kid growing up in a place where there wasn't much for me.  I made it my mission for awhile after that to learn as much about gifted education as I could.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's only so much that traditional formal education can do for a really bright kid: traditional educational models are heavily rote, which is anathema to the active gifted mind.  To someone sufficiently bright, remembering important things will be a natural side-effect of using them, but rote learning is pretty useless -- it doesn't engage the mind enough.  The only thing worse is the traditional method of &quot;gifted&quot; education: adding a pile more rote work on top of the rote work the child is already doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;Tiger Mother&quot; approach is disastrous for so many gifted kids not because it presents &quot;too many&quot; challenges, but because it is by nature very controlling, and tends to favor rote learning over experience and exploration.  Whether or not homeschooling will work well for your child depends a lot on the personalities at work for many kids, joining a group activity or two is enough to make friends and be with other kids; for others, it's not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, what works best is, whether you are homeschooling or not, encourage your child to try many new things, and give him the tools to pursue challenging hobbies.  Bright kids gravitate toward things that engage their mind, they don't have to be forced, and it doesn't have to be work.  I was/am something of a polymath, so I ended up pursuing music (vocal and piano), cryptography, computer programming, politics, and some social stuff (tutoring, working with at-risk kids and special needs kids, working with and eventually running two drug abuse prevention programs).  My son is more strictly a math/science geek, playing with Snap Circuits, designing and mixing fountain pen inks, and designing robots -- I &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; get him to stretch the language muscles by teaching a session at a tech conference about a webapp he built, and communicating with a penpal in another country.  We study martial arts together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only does this stuff not feel like work, but letting your kid pursue his own direction teaches ambition, goal setting, internal motivation, and so many other great qualities.  Also, letting him choose bright hobbies rather than adding lessons means that there will be a social group around each that may help him make more friends like himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-07T03:57:49.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1294" CreationDate="2011-05-07T03:59:52.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We always just set the bottle in a saucepan over low heat.  You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; overheat it if you aren't paying attention, but after a while it becomes a habit and you don't have to think as much about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-07T03:59:52.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1294" CreationDate="2011-05-07T04:11:30.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Never heat the milk in the microwave, even in a separate container. This can create hot spots that can scald the baby. We always use your first method but we just use hot tap water. Remember, it just needs to be slightly warmer then body temp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="789" LastActivityDate="2011-05-07T04:11:30.940" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1306" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1337" CreationDate="2011-05-07T05:43:07.027" Score="12" ViewCount="9014" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15-month old is Mr. Thirst. He is weened (about 2 months now), but he has ravenous thirst and drinks about 50-60 ounces (ca. 1,6 liters) a day of fluids. We give him soy milk (he might be lactose-intolerant, we're not sure) and water, and occasionally watered-down juice. It seems to be way, way more than I first child needed. And most frustratingly, he demands fluids throughout the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="114" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T11:00:34.740" LastActivityDate="2019-02-01T19:21:32.063" Title="Is my 15-month old drinking too much fluids?" Tags="|toddler|health|food|drinking|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1306" CreationDate="2011-05-07T07:52:33.110" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually the child knows best. As long as he is filling his diapers regularly and not showing any signs of sickness he should be fine. However in this situation I would take the little one to visit a doctor to check for any known diseases with this as a symptom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he has some problem eating (due to teething etc) and rather drinks a lot then eat a lot. Maybe it is summer now and his body simply needs more fluids then you're previous child or he is growing faster/slower different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-07T07:52:33.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2011-05-07T08:03:02.447" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start talking to the teacher and ask for his opinion. Tell him you have the idea he is not challenged enough and get him some appropriate challenges with a teacher that can help him fill in the rough spots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading ahead of his/her ages can give some problems with topics which he has to learn from books like love/hate/sexuality etc make sure there is someone to explain these complex topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-07T08:03:02.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2011-05-07T10:20:53.900" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, formally speaking, I'm not in a parenting role but am gifted myself (16 y/o, from Israel). Just thought I'd give some input from my experience in that age.&#xA;In the third grade I was accepted into a special program for gifted children at my school, where we learned all the subjects at a quicker pace but that wasn't the great part. The great part was that we had a lot of enrichment including weekly trips to the university for enrichment lectures and other in class activities. This really broadened our horisons and challenged everyone in our class, mainly because we were give a choice of what enrichment program to practicipate in. From my experience, if you let your child the choice of where to challenge himself he'll do great. Forcing him to be the best he can will lead to depression and general distaste for learning.&#xA;Good luck, and all the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="790" LastActivityDate="2011-05-07T10:20:53.900" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2011-05-07T16:20:50.100" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since he enjoys school, treat it not as a place where you child learns new stuff, but rather as a place where he socializes, finds new friends, learns how to treat with authority, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To educate him, I'd suggest you to find a hobby group (chemistry or math or robotics or whatever) that your child likes, so that he will develop even further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-05-07T16:20:50.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2011-05-07T21:09:22.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (9yo) has been described as gifted by a few of her teachers though we have not had her formally tested. Her reading, comprehensions and vocabulary tends at the teenage level. That being said, she as the life experiences of a 9 year old so can not, for example, understand Macbeth's motivations. Her maths is ahead but not nearly by the same level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have enrolled her in a local program called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gateways.edu.au/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;GATEWAYS&lt;/a&gt; where they do short courses that extend gifted children's education. We tend to get her into imaginative courses as they are of most interest to her, though there are maths ones as well. The courses are developed by educators and child psychologists and target the child's imagination and breath of education rather than just pushing her ahead. I an happy for her to lose a day here or there in her schooling as she gets more out of these courses than she does at school. These are run in Melbourne, but you might find something in your area. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same people run courses for parents on how to deal with gifted children. They are not just smarter kids, they come with a whole bunch of different issues. For example: they games they play tend to be more advanced and complex, this can lead to issues with the friends who are not interested in having twenty rules introduced into every game. My daughter can be obsessive (not OCD though) about perfection, this is a common trait in gifted children. Another common trait she has is that she tends to be overly emotional - this can lead to socialisation issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also does language school where her peers are several years older. I think this has been a good experience and the older kids can pull her up to their maturity level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-05-07T21:09:22.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1294" CreationDate="2011-05-08T01:37:12.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try a rechargable hot-pack. They have a metal disk that you click to activate the heat. Then you recharge them by boiling the pack in water. Simple and portable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-05-08T01:37:12.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="59" CreationDate="2011-05-08T10:34:55.627" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have the same problem with my 7 year old son. Although he yawns through tiredness during the day, he is still very active. He goes to sleep quickly at 6:30/7:00 and wakes up tired at 6 a.m.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took him to an &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otolaryngology&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ear Nose Throat&lt;/a&gt; Consultant and he had his tonsils and adenoids out in March.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They thought it may solve the problem, but thus far it hasn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask to see an ENT to see if her adenoids are blocking her airways and stopping her getting good quality sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="794" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T15:04:06.197" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T15:04:06.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1318" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1323" CreationDate="2011-05-08T12:05:06.707" Score="45" ViewCount="250851" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have hardwood floors in the house, and have made a little &quot;play area&quot; out of foam interlocking &quot;tiles&quot; for our 9 MO to play on. Of course, he's not content to restrict his explorations to the designated area (on the contrary - he loves dropping his blocks on the hardwood floor so that they make a more interesting sound!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Naturally, as he learns to crawl, cruise and get about, there are bound to be spills, falls and other bumps - he seems to be particularly talented at bumping his head when he's sitting and turns around too quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much of a concern are these bumps to the head (I'm not talking about falling from a height - just falling from a crawl or sitting position)? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we be hovering and not letting him fall at all? Is falling a natural and reasonably safe thing that teaches children about cause and effect and hopefully to be less clumsy? Can they seriously injure themselves as the result of a bump to the head on a mat or the floor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="711" LastActivityDate="2019-05-08T13:48:25.487" Title="How worried should I be about head bumps as my infant learns to get around?" Tags="|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1318" CreationDate="2011-05-08T14:43:52.303" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the child falls and cries &lt;em&gt;unusually&lt;/em&gt; then make sure to check. Otherwise we've generally taught our toddler to just get up again and get on with the show. As long as he doesn't learn that every small bump results in a panic reaction from the parents, he just gets up again. If he feels that he &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; hurts we always notice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Falling is okay&lt;/strong&gt; and usually safe as long as he lands on a reasonably flat surface, especially if it's not rock-hard (tiles etc.). The skin on the forehead is actually the thickest on the whole body - I don't think that's a coincidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously avoid sharp edges, and put soft guards on corners. But hitting the head on the floor is not a big concern - remember that kids have learned to walk this way for thousands of years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find all kinds of protection online, right down to baby knee pads. IMHO that's overkill and doesn't help teach the child (or the parents) anything useful, but you might feel differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-08T14:43:52.303" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1318" CreationDate="2011-05-08T16:57:17.520" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;One day, your child is going to learn how to climb stairs safely, how to go down them safely (on his bottom  at first, sitting down on the step and descending, sitting down, one step at a time), how to climb onto the couch and get back off, etc. He's going to fall quite a few times between now and when he will have mastered staying upright on two feet - and that's OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a sitting position, when a toddler falls over, it's &lt;em&gt;only a few inches&lt;/em&gt; to the floor and most of the impact is amortized by the fact that the toddler doesn't usually &lt;em&gt;fall&lt;/em&gt;, but rather rolls over (tumbles). Even if they do fall, the impact is pretty small (small distance, little weight, no starting velocity) and the head being more or less round, it's practically designed to handle that kind of impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they get upright, they usually fall either forward, in which case they put their hands before their faces and the arms take most of the impact, or they fall backward, in which case they usually fall on their bottoms first (and the fall is cushioned by the diaper as well). Falling forward may cause a bit more crying because it's scary to see the floor coming at you all of a sudden! (And sometimes it hurts a bit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your 9 MO bangs his head turning around too quickly and it bothers him, he'll start turning around slower - becoming more careful. That's how we learn. If he starts to yank at power cords (fun until the TV falls to the ground) you might want to intervene &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; the TV falls to the ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Monitor your child's behavior without letting him know you're watching (e.g. drink a cup of coffee pretending to look the other way) and see if he takes any unnecessary risks. as long as he doesn't, let him explore. Keep a closer eye when he does take risks but try not to intervene unless there's a real hazard (like electricity, height, weight, etc.). Your child will use &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; as a secure base to explore the world. If he sees you as being confident in his capabilities, he'll become confident as well but will also become prudent not to break that trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wikipedia has an excellent article on Attachment theory:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Under the headings &quot;Behaviours&quot; and &quot;Tenets&quot; there are quite a few references to studies that may interest you (and reassure you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="796" LastActivityDate="2011-05-08T16:57:17.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1318" CreationDate="2011-05-08T18:30:26.900" Score="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers happen to be &quot;designed&quot; with the right height and mass that they very rarely injure themselves when falling from their own height.  Mostly what you need to worry about is them falling from higher than their own height, like from furniture or stairs, falling onto something sharp, or something heavy falling on them.  Most of the falls you are worrying about now, you will notice shortly that your child looks to see if you're watching before deciding whether it's worth it to cry or not.  My 18 month-old actually head butts things for fun now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 7 year-old has cerebral palsy from her skull getting a little squished during her premature birth, so we are well acquainted with the signs of brain trauma.  Mostly what you need to look out for is a sudden change in typical behavior, like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sluggishness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eyes looking glazed over&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Seizing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Vomiting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dizziness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Slurred speech&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Non responsiveness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Being inconsolable after several minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If those things happen after a nasty fall, consult a doctor right away, or even get an ambulance depending on severity.  Bumps and bruises are not fun, but are normal and nothing to worry about.  They happen even to children of the most conscientious parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-08T18:30:26.900" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1282" CreationDate="2011-05-08T19:15:08.363" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;My rule of thumb with both my children has been &quot;if he/she can do it him/herself, he/she should&quot;. That includes going to the toilet, washing hands, etc. My four-year-old boy goes to the toilet by himself, whether it be in restaurants, shopping malls, etc. or at home. My seven-year-old obviously goes by herself as well, and has since she was about four (when she could reach the faucet without being lifted).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found this approach helps their self-confidence and their autonomy. While that means that sometimes, in the morning, they decide to make breakfast (and make an enormous mess) before we even have a chance to get up, it also means there's a lot of things we don't need to do anymore (like putting their clothes on in the morning) - and they're often proud of their accomplishments because they know we value autonomy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adolescence is &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; too late to stop accompanying them, diapers is &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; too early. If you ask them &quot;did you wash your hands&quot; with some of their peers present and they're embarrassed, it may be time to let them take care of their visits to the little men's/woman's room themselves...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="796" LastActivityDate="2011-05-08T19:15:08.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1272" CreationDate="2011-05-08T20:11:32.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;maybe you should watch the episode you would watch with them first (on bbc 1 if its a new one) and make a judgement, doctor who is always repeated on bbc3 so you can show it to them then. see how scary you can go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="798" LastActivityDate="2011-05-08T20:11:32.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-05-08T20:15:02.057" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally stopped believing at age nine.  I believe it is best to just let them figure it out but would suggest you tell them if they get too old.  Personally, ten seems about the right age to tell a kid if they haven't already figured it out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="798" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T02:12:00.973" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T02:12:00.973" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1327" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-09T05:32:52.630" Score="9" ViewCount="598" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old is just starting to learn counting. A few weeks ago, if he saw two of an item, e.g. a clock, he would say &quot;clock clock&quot;. In the last week, he started saying &quot;two clock&quot;. Although he can name all the numerals 1-9, he cannot (or will not?) exhibit a count of any number of objects more numerous than 2. Still, this is the beginning of numeracy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to develop his numeracy. Sesame Street has counting games, but he's not allowed to watch TV. Does anyone have suggestions for proven games or activities to develop numeracy in young toddlers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="801" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-31T13:36:15.263" LastActivityDate="2019-03-31T13:36:15.263" Title="How can I increase the numeracy of a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|teaching|math|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1327" CreationDate="2011-05-09T07:23:28.000" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a pedagogue, but I've been told children in their early years can comprehend numbers which are the same of their age. Two year old's can comprehend two, Three year old's can comprehend three, and so on...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Counting to ten is not the same. That is more like reciting a nursery rhyme. My daughter of two and a half can count to ten, in that manner. She can even point to each of her dolls and 'count' them by saying the number in the sequence but I'm quite sure she is not able to comprehend that there are 'four' of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes time to evolve nummeracy, and like with language some children evolve faster than others. It seems to me your child is doing ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would just like with language use number concepts with him, which are just out of his reach. Like counting three buttons &quot;one, two, three&quot; and then saying &quot;there are three buttons on the table&quot;. Things like that. At some point he will suddenly grasp the concept, but I wouldn't expect it to happen very soon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastActivityDate="2011-05-09T07:23:28.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-05-09T07:46:02.020" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is important to promote a kid's imagination, help them not worry about what other people believe, and encourage self confidence and self esteem.  I have told mine that all things cease to exist the moment they stop believing in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of the kids at school tease my daughter for believing in Santa (she is 7.5), saying he doesn't exist.  I told her that he did, if she wanted to believe in him.  She's a bright kid, and I believe, picked up on this, and linked it to her belief in God (I am an atheist). I told her I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was 10, and then I stopped seeing him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, I took her to Lapland last Xmas to see 'the real Santa Claus' in a log cabin, by a frozen lake.  It was a magical, once in a lifetime trip.  'Santa' gave her a present and told her not to unwrap it.  She then told me what she asked Santa for.  I spent a long week finding it and wrapping it in the same paper. Seeing her face when she unwrapped the very present in the very same paper was magical.  Although they were different sizes, she suggested if he was magical enough to fly around the world, he could have changed the present after he knew what she really wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-08T04:59:34.097" LastActivityDate="2012-12-08T04:59:34.097" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="231" CreationDate="2011-05-09T08:18:58.323" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babysitters charge what they deem to be right, in my experience, and if you can afford it, you pay.  In my experience, in London, a babysitter would cost us between £30 and £40 a night, or about £8 an hour.  Now we're in a more rural part of the country, they seem to charge less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with all service companies/industries, they'll charge what they think they can get; it is simple economics&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-05-09T08:18:58.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1327" CreationDate="2011-05-09T10:09:12.947" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 3 this week, and is able to consistently count objects up to 30.  I can spread some coins out on the table and ask him, &quot;How many coins are there on the table?&quot; and he will begin counting them and moving them to one side. He'll do the same if/when he gets a small package of gummibears while potty training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we're raising him bilingual, I've done a lot of work with English letters and numbers and started counting objects with him when he was 2 - his building blocks, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-09T10:09:12.947" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-05-09T10:15:57.857" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest is almost 20, so she can decide for herself regarding dessert.  My youngest will soon be 3, and it's rare we have dessert in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time dessert is something that he gets at the grandmother's house.  If we have it at home, it's fruit and/or yoghurt, and sometimes we'll have ice cream.  I will make an occasional batch of cookies or a cake, but he doesn't eat them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He knows that the rule is he MUST eat his dinner before he can have any dessert - and it's MOM that decides whether or not he's eaten his dinner, not him.  If he wants to just pick one bite of everything, he doesn't get dessert and he knows it.  He also knows that his dinner plate will only be left at the table for him for a limited time - once I start doing dishes, it gets cleaned with the rest.  If he's hungry later, he can have an apple and some carrot sticks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-09T10:15:57.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1272" CreationDate="2011-05-09T17:12:40.033" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have said, it is a great show for kids to be scared at while sitting with you - hiding behind a cushion when the scary monsters came on was one of the really enjoyable bits of watching Dr Who as a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that in mind, my eldest really didn't like the Vashta Nerada, while the little ones had no problem with them, but my youngest was scared by the Blink episode and the elder two thought it was great fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them watch with you, with a cushion and a cuddle for protection, that's my advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-05-09T17:12:40.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1067" CreationDate="2011-05-09T17:43:20.017" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Prakash,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You have asked a challenging question; &quot;what are the best teaching methods at Home?&quot; It sounds like you are already doing a great deal to teach your son. So I will try give pointers from my point of view to add to what you are already doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, I believe (and others may disagree) that the best teaching methods for young children are centered around imaginative play with adults and children. Adults modeling the adult behavior expected from the child as he or she grows up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the play components that I think are valuable: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Types of play: teasing, role play, athletics, building/assembling, story telling, drawing, cooking, music, puppets, and more. Play in a variety of modes. Let anything become play.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Call and response: focus on the current behavior of your child and respond in a way similar to their behavior. Model the behavior you want to encourage, but be patient.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Divergent play: allow the rules to change as the playing is ongoing, avoid too much single solution type games, be flexible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Especially at such a young age, avoid teaching tools that remove an interacting adult from the experience. Electronic toys, videos, etc. can be a part of child play but not a substitute for a living breathing adult who can gauge and respond to the child's interests.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few resources that I have found valuable for a parent trying to learn how children learn:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://edutopia.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;edutopia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://p21.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Partnership for 21st Century Skills&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/wyoSS&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Scientist in the Crib&lt;/a&gt; (book)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/qRNcm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Proust and the Squid&lt;/a&gt; (book) &lt;a href=&quot;http://huffduffer.com/eflclassroom/33582&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;interview with author&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried that your son is delayed in language seek out an evaluation from a physician. Here are some resources online for childhood development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cdr.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Child Development Resources, Inc.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://zerotothree.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ZERO TO THREE&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cdc.gov/ncbddd/child/links.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDC Child Development&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best to you and your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="807" LastEditDate="2011-05-25T16:19:51.257" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T16:19:51.257" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-05-09T17:49:39.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would seriously consider weaning your child from the habit of bringing a cup to bed.  If they are coughing at night, a vaporizer or humidifier can do wonders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user806" LastActivityDate="2011-05-09T17:49:39.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1306" CreationDate="2011-05-09T18:10:29.883" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is definitely something you should bring to the pediatrician's attention.  It may be normal, but it can also be a sign of diabetes.  Also, I caution against giving a child more than a couple cups of soy milk even if they are lactose-intolerant.  The evidence is inconclusive but &lt;a href=&quot;http://envirocancer.cornell.edu/factsheet/diet/fs1.phyto.cfm&quot;&gt;soy phytoestrogens may promote certain types of cancer&lt;/a&gt;.  Soy milk also does not have as much fat as whole milk and dietary fat is crucial for brain development.  Regardless, 50-60 oz. is a lot of fluid and worth getting a professional opinion on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user808" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-05-09T22:03:16.007" LastActivityDate="2011-05-09T22:03:16.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1259" CreationDate="2011-05-10T00:11:46.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you don't like letting your baby cry, &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0071381392&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The No Cry Sleep Solution&lt;/a&gt; by Elizabeth Pantley gives a lot of background on sleeping problems, and offers a number of different strategies for helping babies and small children sleep.  Anecdotally, her strategies seem highly effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can find a translation of that book into a language you know, I highly recommend it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="811" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T00:11:46.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1318" CreationDate="2011-05-10T02:10:23.657" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the most part, my wife and I have hovered over our kids until they we're old enough to stop with daring climbing and toddler clumsiness. As the kids get older, we maintain basic rules to minimize falls and head injuries in particular. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No sitting on tables or countertops&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No standing in chairs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You must sit on your bottom in your chair, not on your feet or knees&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No toys can be left out in common walking areas (which could cause tripping)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No standing or tricks on tricycles&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Always wear helmets when riding bikes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No running or playing on the stairs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Always hold handrails on the stairs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have known several children who have had head injuries that seemed minor initially, but which turned out to have major impact on the child and the parents. One 3yo child hit his head and began losing his vision and ultimately went blind. A coworker's 2.5yo child went into a coma after falling off of a chair (luckily she's fine now). Another child 5yo lost parts of his memory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The effects of head injuries could be a lot more subtle. From &lt;a href=&quot;http://jpepsy.oxfordjournals.org/content/31/6/608.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Many children with head injuries are left with residual impairments, including seizures, speech and gait problems, hearing or vision changes, and memory or attention problems (Anderson et al., 1997, 2001). Children who suffer head injuries in the preschool years are at substantially greater risk for subsequent behavior disorders that interfere with school performance (Michaud, Rivara, Jaffe, Fay, &amp;amp; Dailey, 1993). McKinlay, Dalrymple-Alford, Horwood, and Fergusson (2002) found that children whose mild head injury, severe enough to be hospitalized, occurred before they were 5 years old were more likely to display hyperactivity/inattentiveness and conduct disorder when they reached 10–13 years old. Even in preschoolers with mild head injury not severe enough for hospitalization, Wrightson, McGinn, and Gronwall (1995) found deficits in solving visual puzzles by 6 months after injury and lower reading ability by 6.5 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child hits his head, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/injuries-emergencies/Pages/Head-Injury.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; from HealthyChildren.org says to watch for the following signs after head trauma and take your child to the doctor or hospital immediately if you observe any of them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A constant headache, particularly one that gets worse&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Slurred speech or confusion&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dizziness that does not go away or happens repeatedly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Extreme irritability or other abnormal behavior&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Vomiting more than 2 or 3 times&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stumbling or difficulty walking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Oozing blood or watery fluid from the nose or ears&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Difficulty waking up or excessive sleepiness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unequal size of the pupils (the dark center part of the eyes)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Double vision or blurry vision&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unusual paleness that lasts for more than an hour&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Convulsions (seizures)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Difficulty recognizing familiar people&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Weakness of arms or legs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Persistent ringing in the ears &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T02:10:23.657" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-05-10T03:15:31.930" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you how, as an Atheist, I would raise my child. 2 years old is way too young to be able to make any reasonable decision about religion. When he got older or started asking questions, I'd start telling him about Christianity -- but not only Christianity. I think that it is of the utmost importance that religion be presented in whole. Christianity is not the only religion and certainly not the only religion that declares that it is the only true way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Religion would be presented to the child and he would be allowed to make his own decision on it. This is similar to how I was raised. My family was entirely Christian, if not very devout. I was never made to go to church, and I didn't go to church for the first time until I asked to do so at around age 12. I spent time there for about 2 years before deciding against Christianity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hardest part is being able to accept that your child will have a choice and may not make the same choice as you. It's not necessarily a terrible thing, and if you have trouble with that know you aren't the only one. It's only human nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, just make sure the child knows that he has a choice. Teach him about Christianity? Absolutely, but teach him about other religions as well. Don't teach him about them from a Christian perspective though. Use sources like wikipedia for your information and not members of your church. One day, your child will thank you because a lot of children don't get such privileges from their parents, and are forced into the religion of their parents from the beginning. For now, he is only 2 years old! There is plenty of time for religion and stuff. He doesn't even understand what religion is. He isn't capable of processing such information. Even if he did pray, he wouldn't know what he is doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="812" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T03:15:31.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1352" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:08:02.507" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T11:08:02.507" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T11:08:02.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1353" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:08:02.507" Score="0" Body="Determining whether a child is too young (or too old) for a particular idea, food, activity, etc." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2021-03-18T16:41:49.010" LastActivityDate="2021-03-18T16:41:49.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1354" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:10:56.143" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T11:10:56.143" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T11:10:56.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1355" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:10:56.143" Score="0" Body="The child's performance at school, how school rules, situations and other issues may affect the child, etc." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2021-03-20T00:59:46.830" LastActivityDate="2021-03-20T00:59:46.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1356" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:13:12.663" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Discipline is how parents enforce the rules they set for children. It includes  discussion of consequences when those rules are broken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See the tag &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/behavior&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;behavior&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;behavior&lt;/a&gt; for questions about &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; children act the way they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T13:18:08.153" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:18:08.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1357" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:13:12.663" Score="0" Body="How to enforce the rules you set, and consequences when those rules are broken. Use [behavior] for questions about why children act the way they do." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T13:18:08.153" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:18:08.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1358" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:15:14.113" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T11:15:14.113" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T11:15:14.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1359" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:15:14.113" Score="0" Body="Food in solid or liquid form, specifically in relation to children. See also the tag [eating] about manners and motivation." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:20:40.213" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:20:40.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1360" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:16:59.077" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T11:16:59.077" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T11:16:59.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1361" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:16:59.077" Score="0" Body="Motivation and disorders; eating habits; table manners; etc. See also the tags [food] and [feeding]." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:21:48.920" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:21:48.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1362" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:18:40.697" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibling&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Siblings&lt;/a&gt; refer to either the brother(s) or sister(s) of a person. This relationship can be a biological relationship, i.e. a common parent, or it can be a relationship formed through the adoption of one child by a parent with existing biological children or other adopted children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a common topic in parenting. When there are multiple children in a single household, parents often have to act as peer mediator or referee when an argument ensues between two or more siblings. Issues with siblings can stem from perceived parental preferences, acquisition of material objects (i.e. gifts), or age-related differences between siblings (i.e. regressive behavior of a toddler or pre-school age child after a new baby comes home). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-04-23T18:18:17.377" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T18:18:17.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1363" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:18:40.697" Score="0" Body="Siblings describe any two or more family members with a common parent or are adopted by and live under the guardianship of the same parent. " OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-04-23T18:18:36.750" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T18:18:36.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1364" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:19:31.307" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T11:19:31.307" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T11:19:31.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1365" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:19:31.307" Score="0" Body="Similar to the tags [eating] and [food] but focused on infants that don't eat on their own yet." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T11:19:31.307" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T11:19:31.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1366" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:27:58.467" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Family finance, and how children learn to handle money, including their own allowance or pocket money.  Please note that the &lt;a href=&quot;http://money.stackexchange.com/&quot;&gt;Personal Finance and Money&lt;/a&gt; StackExchange site may be a better choice for topics relating more to finance than parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-04-15T08:00:25.730" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T08:00:25.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1367" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:27:58.467" Score="0" Body="Family finance, and how children learn to handle money." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:25:12.393" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:25:12.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1368" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:37:37.013" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some useful links for development:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;CDC developmental milestone chart&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/motor_milestones/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;WHO developmental milestones&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/who_charts.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;CDC and WHO growth charts&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please remember that these charts are averages, and should not be used to diagnose or treat a specific child except under the care of a doctor.  They are provided here to help parents understand the average developmental milestones for the particular populations these are intended for, but a child that does not fall within the normal parameters of these charts in some way may not indicate a specific problem.  Please consult your pediatrician if you have any specific concerns related to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T20:45:58.097" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T20:45:58.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1369" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:37:37.013" Score="0" Body="Children's physical and mental development.  This tag usually is used along with a related tag clarifying the specific topic, such as health, learning, etc." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T20:45:58.097" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T20:45:58.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1370" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:39:48.310" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This tag is appropriate for questions related to the health and well-being of a child, but not for specific medical issues.  Questions about diagnosing or treating specific medical issues should be asked of a health professional, and are not a good fit for this site.  However, questions that are related to general care for a child are appropriate for this tag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples of questions that are appropriate include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/30937/how-to-weigh-a-newborn-at-home&quot;&gt;How do I weigh my newborn at home?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/24541/how-do-i-teach-my-children-to-stay-calm-when-they-have-an-allergic-reaction&quot;&gt;How do I teach my children to stay calm during an allergic reaction?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For urgent medical issues, please contact your doctor or emergency line immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T20:37:43.043" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T20:37:43.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1371" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:39:48.310" Score="0" Body="Children's physical health and well-being. See also the tag [hygiene] for matters of cleanliness.  &#xD;&#xA;&#xD;&#xA;Questions about diagnosing or treating specific medical issues are not appropriate to this site, and may be closed.  Please seek a doctor's help immediately for any urgent medical issues." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T20:37:43.043" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T20:37:43.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1372" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:42:16.140" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T11:42:16.140" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T11:42:16.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1373" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T11:42:16.140" Score="0" Body="Learning or speaking more than one (native) language. See also the tags [language] and [language-development]." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:25:24.190" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:25:24.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1374" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T12:23:38.587" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-10T12:23:38.587" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T12:23:38.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1375" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T12:23:38.587" Score="0" Body="Keeping children safe from any kind of danger." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:20:57.983" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:20:57.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1376" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-10T12:24:23.220" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teaching methods, motivations, resources, etc.  Also see Education, Learning, and Development for related concepts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use this tag when you are asking a question about the act of teaching, as opposed to asking about your child's learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T20:47:49.220" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T20:47:49.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1377" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-10T12:24:23.220" Score="0" Body="Teaching methods, motivations, resources, etc.  Also see Education, Learning, and Development for related concepts." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T20:47:02.443" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T20:47:02.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1282" CreationDate="2011-05-10T14:24:48.917" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;When the child says, &quot;This is the wrong bathroom!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user808" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T14:24:48.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1383" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-10T16:21:02.153" Score="2" ViewCount="631" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (7) plays the violin, and has been doing so since he was 4. He does enjoy it but lately his interest has started to wain. He has an interest in bluegrass, and Celtic music; most of which has a fiddle part. I am wondering what is the best way to have him start playing the fiddle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His current teacher uses the Suzuki method and is very good at what she does, but she only knows classical violin. That means we would have to do this at home. I do not play a string instrument, but can read music, and often help him with his lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="760" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:55:38.413" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T18:55:38.413" Title="How do you transition a Suzuki-method violin student to the fiddle?" Tags="|education|music|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2011-05-10T18:30:02.653" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you asked your son what he would prefer?  If he's very social, he may miss the social aspect of school even if it's wasting his time otherwise.  Otherwise, if the school is not already quite good, I don't think that teaching him yourself &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; having him go to school is such a good idea.  School is tiring, and the further ahead you are the more boring it is.  If the school can't handle bright children--at least by letting him read books in class or otherwise avoid forcing him to pay attention to repetitive stuff that he already knows--then you're going to have a problem regardless of whether you teach him on the side or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you would both enjoy teaching your son and are reasonably good at it (i.e. he reliably learns the material quickly), he would probably be much better served by being home schooled.  I was home schooled, and I got a vastly better education, had tons of free time, and got to play with my (somewhat jealous) friends after they finally got out of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, if you are missing either the time or motivation or the teaching style that your son needs, you could see if there are any Montessori schools nearby.  Quite a number of the brightest people who I know went to Montessori schools when they were children; I'm not sure that the schools always helped them to their greatest potential (there's quite some variation in Montessori schools), but very importantly, they didn't squash their love of learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T18:30:02.653" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-05-10T18:49:27.460" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found that trying to get baby to sleep was a problem - a soothing noise, at first you sush until you start hyper ventilating!  Then you get an app for your smart phone that creates &quot;white noise&quot; - this mimics the sound in the womb, it's comforting to the baby.  This was a god send - you just leave it on timer, say 15mins and leave the room and baby is asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="813" LastActivityDate="2011-05-10T18:49:27.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1387" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1388" CreationDate="2011-05-10T21:23:44.580" Score="6" ViewCount="4303" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to take my kids to opera. However most opera shows are in original language (mostly Italian). Do you have experience with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are kids following the story without understanding the language?&#xA;Aren't early readers (age 6) distracted by subtitle banners?&#xA;Any suggested piece to start with?&#xA;Anyone tried?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="456" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T18:56:36.667" LastActivityDate="2020-02-18T08:45:47.537" Title="At what age is it appropriate to bring my children to an (Italian) opera?" Tags="|age-appropriate|music|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1388" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1387" CreationDate="2011-05-11T00:49:59.440" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8yo is a budding opera geek... has been for at least a year and a half.  His favorites are The Phantom of the Opera and the first half of Les Miserables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think what both of those have in common are that the stories are very accessible to children: Phantom is a ghost story, pretty straightforward; Les Mis (the first half, anyway) is about a little girl growing up in a pretty drama-ridden scenario.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been my experience that kids respond to good (and complex) music regardless of the presence of words or if they understand the words, but crating a real fan requires that they get the whole experience -- and that means a story line that they can really grok.  &lt;em&gt;Most&lt;/em&gt; six-year-olds don't read fast or fluently enough to read subtitles at speed while simultaneously picking up on everything else that goes on in the story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than using an opera in a foreign language, consider starting with some in English and, &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; your child becomes a fan, use that motivation as a basis to start introducting other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I wouldn't give for a few more really good English-language operas with kid-friendly plots!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T00:49:59.440" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-05-11T03:31:39.030" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;2 year olds are most definitely not concious and are not always able to control their behavior!!!! Why do you want to teach your child that it us ok to hit or use violence? There are many good suggestions here that are kinder, compassionate, and humane. Tantrums although sometimes avoidable, are part and parcel of toddlerhood. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son has a tantrum, they usually don't last long, especially if he knows I will not budge. The problem we (the parents) have created (NOT the child's problem or fault!) is that we've waffled too much on decisions so he's learned that if he cries and throws a fit, he can sometimes get his way. If I'm firm in my decision and neutral, the tantrum usually passes fairly quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="814" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T03:31:39.030" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1387" CreationDate="2011-05-11T05:37:12.387" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; can't follow the story. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main problem though is sitting still and keeping quiet. Once the child can do that for as long as required, it should be fine. For other kids some concert halls actually have concerts for children, which basically means popular classical music (and sometimes the good bits from operas) where kids are allowed to jump in the seats. Keep a look out for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T05:37:12.387" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1394" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-11T07:17:06.997" Score="3" ViewCount="641" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/464/when-is-physical-punishment-appropriate&quot;&gt;When is physical punishment appropriate?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will this psychologically affect them negatively? Will they become bitter or will they learn through this experience that if you go against the rules, it hurts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2017-05-11T15:13:45.937" Title="Is it alright to use corporal punishment on children?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2011-05-11T14:04:55.093" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="806" CreationDate="2011-05-11T07:19:09.097" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd ensure you got professional advice before committing your children to a vegan diet.  Personally, I have seen the article above before, and some others, indicating it's hard to ensure a child can get an adequate enough supply of nutrients to maintain healthy growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife was a vegetarian and we made a conscious decision our kids would not be, and that once they understood why my wife was a vegetarian, they could make their own minds up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found articles outlining that sometimes, with a growing child, it is hard for them to maintain a good enough vegan diet due to the sheer weight, amount, of food they have to eat in order to maintain healthy growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not trying to be too overly moralistic here, but as with religion and other choices in life, please ensure you're doing this for the children, and not for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally, I grew up with a vegan boy at school and he was forever ill, as was his curiously vegan dog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vrg.org/nutshell/kids.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.vrg.org/nutshell/kids.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nutritional risks&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any potential risks of vegetarianism seem to be related to the type of vegetarian diet, i.e. the foods that are excluded. Vegan diets are more likely to be associated with malnutrition, whereas children eating a lacto-ovo-vegetarian diet consume diets closer to recommendations than children whose diets include meat. Their pre-pubertal growth is at least as good as children consuming meat. In general, the greater the degree of dietary restriction, the greater the risk of nutritional deficiency.&amp;quot;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.health.vic.gov.au/nutrition/child_nutrition/vegetarian.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.health.vic.gov.au/nutrition/child_nutrition/vegetarian.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.power4health.org/Principles/Nutrition/ChildVeggies.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.power4health.org/Principles/Nutrition/ChildVeggies.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:07:15.677" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1394" CreationDate="2011-05-11T07:36:44.633" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, children won't become better if corporal punishment is enforced. Great summary of  reasons is given in the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/about/policy/corporal-punishment.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;resolution&lt;/a&gt; against corporal punishment by American Psychological Association from 1975. Among them: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;use of corporal punishment&lt;/strong&gt; by adults&#xA;  having authority over children &#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;is likely to train children to use&#xA;  physical violence to control behavior&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  rather than rational persuasion,&#xA;  education, and intelligent forms of&#xA;  both positive and negative&#xA;  reinforcement;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastEditorUserId="127" LastEditDate="2017-05-11T15:13:45.937" LastActivityDate="2017-05-11T15:13:45.937" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1394" CreationDate="2011-05-11T07:37:22.377" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd go for the most effective punishment. Which is explaining that they did something wrong and going from 'soft' punishments to harder punishments on a 'sliding' scale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us its &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 explaining that they did something wrong and should not do it again&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 sitting on the punishment chair in a corner&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;3 another explaining session + chair if needed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T07:37:22.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="341" CreationDate="2011-05-11T07:39:32.463" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am English, but have fairly dark skin due, in part, to my ancestry.  I sit in the sun for 20 minutes and turn brown.  That's me.  My wife, a traditional English rose, as such, needs two weeks in the sun to turn white after each winter.  Each person's skin is different, and that goes to their kids too.  I have 3 kids.  One of them has good olive skin, so we don't mind her being in the sun for any period of time; she doesn't burn.  The next, like the wife, has quite sensitive skin, so we keep our eyes on her more.  The other, like me, has fairly dark skin, for an English person, so, again, we don't tend to worry about her more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, The most important source of vitamin D is not food, it's sunlight. Vitamin D isn't actually a vitamin, it's a steroid hormone that the body produces using UVB rays from the sun. Vitamin D deficiences in babies can arise if babies receive inadequate exposure to sunlight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics recommend all breastfed babies be given vitamin D supplements. This is because, they say, breast milk does not contain enough vitamin D (or sunlight maybe?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read more: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/baby-and-vitamin-D.html#ixzz1M1ksDh83&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/baby-and-vitamin-D.html#ixzz1M1ksDh83&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;111/4/908&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;111/4/908&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read more: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/baby-and-vitamin-D.html#ixzz1M1kSx3Kt&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/baby-and-vitamin-D.html#ixzz1M1kSx3Kt&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally, as a kid, I was blond, blue eyed and spent 12 hours a day semi naked (just in shorts) in the sun, fishing, playing sport, sitting about, swimming and I never burned.  I do think we tend to worry about too many things nowadays.  I think an element of common sense is needed here; if it is 32 degrees outside and bright sunlight, don't let the kids play outside for too long without some kind of lotion on.  If it is 18 degrees and not so sunny, whilst you do have to keep an eye open, it's not so bad.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;To make enough vitamin D, a baby in a diaper [nappy] needs a total of only 30 minutes of sunlight a week-less than five minutes a day. Fully clothed and without a hat, a baby would need two hours of sunlight a week, or about 20 minutes a day. Medium to darker skin tones need a little more time in the sun.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://mothering.com/breastfeeding/the-politics-of-vitamin-d&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://mothering.com/breastfeeding/the-politics-of-vitamin-d&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:07:19.313" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:07:19.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1394" CreationDate="2011-05-11T07:46:45.640" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe all corporal punishment teaches is that violence is an acceptable form of getting your point over and is more of a relief to the parent, than deterrent to the child.  I was punished by my father with corporal punishment, and laughed, because it was over quickly, and he would always feel bad about it afterwards.  However, my mother would take my sports gear or books from me.  She knew they were my escape, my real enjoyment in life.  I sometimes look back at the more cerebral punishment as the crueler one, but it worked: I never did piss my mother off, if I could avoid it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I now use the same rules on my children and they have not once been involved in any kind of violent episode.  I don't know if it is right or wrong; one thing I have learned as a parent is that what works for one parent, may not for another; there are no hard and fast rules.  However, if another adult hit a child, then they'd expect a trip to court, in the least and I think that says an awful lot about the morality of striking a child, however mildly, however 'lovingly' (I don't like this phrase).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be laughed off, or slighted as anecdotal.  However, I believe is is one area of childcare that can't be linked to studies, and journals.  Striking someone weaker than you, smaller than you, someone in your care, someone whom you have a duty of care towards, strikes me as being incredible unreasonable, cowardly and wrong; it can only teach them violence does have a part to play in life, in settling arguments, controlling behaviour and, as I said earlier, is more for the parents, not the children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;editting down to spooling mostikes&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:13:01.700" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:13:01.700" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1400" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-11T07:52:09.380" Score="13" ViewCount="337" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given: a 5 year old kid with what is believed to be false spasmodic croup. Once in several months he experiences a sudden asthmatic fit in the middle of the night - specifically he has a mild spasm in breathing passages, he perceives that as inability to breath, tries to breath deeper, that enforces the spasm, he thinks he's suffocating. Once he breathes through the inhaler for about ten minutes the spasm goes away and the kid is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The physician says this will just end in a couple of years once the kid grows up. Currently the problem is how to teach the kid to not panic in such cases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There're two ways of addressing the asthmatic fit. The current way for him is to cry and panic and then a lot of effort is required to calm him and convince him to breath through the inhaler. The much better preferred way would be to him recognize the situation once it starts developing, try to breath shallow (that stops acute spasms) and calmly get to the parents, ask them to prepare the inhaler and breath through it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid is smart and curious, but he just wouldn't listen about what is happening to him - perhaps discussing the problem is associated with the panic he experiences or maybe he feels bad that he causes such problems to his parents or maybe it's just boring for him. Whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way to teach a 5 year old to stay calm and properly address sudden asthmatic fits?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="817" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-16T14:25:37.600" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T14:25:37.600" Title="How can we prepare a pre-schooler to manage his asthma?" Tags="|health|pre-schooler|teaching|breathing|asthma|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1383" CreationDate="2011-05-11T09:44:17.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there any friendly bluegrass groups that would welcome a 7 year old coming to play along? I started drums in a local friendly brass band at about 8 and am still playing now, in many styles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="797" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T09:44:17.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1400" CreationDate="2011-05-11T12:23:23.357" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I think the answer is &quot;no&quot;.  Once he is older you can probably work with him to improve the situation (if it hasn't already cleared up by then), but at 5 years old it just may be too early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Difficulty in breathing triggers an automatic fear response in the brain:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The interesting mind-body part of asthma is that the anxiety parts of our brain are very finely attuned to breathing problems, meaning that if people’s carbon dioxide levels go up or their oxygen levels go down, the brain very quickly tweaks the fight or flight response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This fear response is then typically exasperated by the negative associations from previous experiences (&quot;oh, no, this is going to be bad!&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everydayhealth.com/asthma/asthma-attack-coping.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;techniques&lt;/a&gt; that can be used to help cope with the panic effect, but none of them are likely to be effective with a 5 year old:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to Develop Emotional Asthma Control&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Extra rescue inhalers&lt;/strong&gt;. Keep them with    you wherever you are, and in&#xA;  several    places at home, at work, or&#xA;  in    school. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Emergency numbers and cell phone&lt;/strong&gt;.    Keep your doctor's number&#xA;  and a cell    phone close at hand at&#xA;  all times.    Remember that if your&#xA;  asthma does    spiral completely out&#xA;  of control, you    should call 9-1-1&#xA;  directly rather    than calling your&#xA;  family or doctor    first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Daily corticosteroid use&lt;/strong&gt;. If you use    a daily, inhaled&#xA;  corticosteroid for    asthma control,&#xA;  be sure to take your    medication&#xA;  consistently.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Prep work&lt;/strong&gt;. Be prepared for ups and    downs, There will be seasons&#xA;  when    your allergies and asthma&#xA;  triggers    are worse. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Now the Hard Part: Learning to Relax&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yoga&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Deep breathing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Meditation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T12:23:23.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1383" CreationDate="2011-05-11T12:29:45.747" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is a Suzuki violin teacher and had the following response:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, I would encourage you to talk to your teacher about your child's interest and consider something like a summer &quot;fiddle camp&quot;.  Some Suzuki summer institutes include optional fiddle classes for students who have reached an appropriate level of playing (usually end of Suzuki Book 1, something like that).  Mark O'Connor (a fantastic fiddler) runs fiddle camps around the country for kids, and he has also developed a beginning fiddle method that could be great supplementary material for Suzuki.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Traditional fiddling and classical Suzuki can be very complementary, and being able to do one can really improve your ability in the other.  I would encourage my own students to do both if they were interested.  An important thing is to not alienate your current Suzuki teacher and involve her in the decision process, since she is your primary music instructor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="819" LastEditorUserId="819" LastEditDate="2011-05-12T16:12:11.017" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T16:12:11.017" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1406" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-11T13:23:23.990" Score="7" ViewCount="1913" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than make a question I thought a wiki would be better for this.  (Hope I can convert it later).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are more apt to try and prevent things from happening to the kids, and diaper rash is one we've been successful at preventing.  Although I haven't heard many other parents talk about it since there isn't one here that talks about prevention I was hoping we could share what has worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll add our strategies to this wiki these have worked out well with our two boys, and some of the first advice I give to new parents who ask for tips.  If others have workable suggestions I hope you will share!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:07:45.487" LastActivityDate="2012-12-16T21:47:39.143" Title="What are some good strategies for preventing Diaper Rash?" Tags="|infant|newborn|diaper-rash|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-11T19:16:04.350" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1067" CreationDate="2011-05-11T15:25:17.240" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;The big thing we do is be sure to model proper, age appropriate, sentences around our son. So for example at dinner instead of saying &quot;would you hand me the peas, honey?&quot; my wife would catch our son's attention and clearly enunciate &quot;more peas please, daddy&quot;, and &quot;thank you&quot; after I gave them to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing we did, was once we knew he was able to say all the words, we stopped accepting the point and grunt from him. If he wanted more peas, he had to say at least &quot;more peas please&quot;. It's amazing how much teaching you can do around the dinner table in the course of a meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those really helped getting him to use sentences closer to age appropriate. (He was way behind with expressive language, so in reality he's still not at the level his peers are, but we're catching up!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T15:25:17.240" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1409" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-11T17:39:49.240" Score="7" ViewCount="2136" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter was breast-fed until about 1 year-old, with a variety of table foods as she got older.  During this time she would ocassionally get skin rashes, but we didn't think much of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she turned 1, we started her on whole milk, and a normal balanced diet.  In the 6 months since then, she is averaging about one ear infection per month, and has chronically dry skin.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She got ear tubes, but she continues to get regular ear infections.  Now her doctors are recommending adenoid removal.  Before we go to that, we want to consider that both the skin trouble and ear infections might be allergic reactions.  The most likely allergy seems to be dairy products.  We've started her on soy milk, and she's gotten another ear infection since then.  But we haven't tried completely eliminating dairy from her diet (because that is very hard to do!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any reliable ways to tell if she is having a reaction to dairy products?  If we were able to completely eliminate dairy from her diet for some time, should we expect the skin trouble and ear infections to completely go away (assuming they were are a reaction to dairy)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;: We've had our daughter on no dairy for about a month now.  Her skin has been about the same, and she's gotten her usual monthly ear infection.  We are now pretty confident that she doesn't have an issue with dairy.  To confirm that, we plan to heavily reintroduce dairy to her diet.  Assuming no noticable changes at that point, we'll assume she's good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="823" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:09:11.820" LastActivityDate="2014-03-31T09:16:12.093" Title="How do you tell if a toddler is lactose intolerant?" Tags="|toddler|food|allergies|ear|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-05-11T17:59:52.280" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Netflix has a good breakdown of most modern movies in terms of how appropriate their content is for children.  It will give you details about what potentially objectionable content is in a movie, give recommendations of what age level it is appropriate for, and give you child-appropriate discussion topics based on the content of the movie.  I believe you need to be a Netflix member to access this content though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an example&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/rPLQ9.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="823" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T17:59:52.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2011-05-11T18:39:41.543" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former swim instructor, one of the key milestones is being comfortable putting your head under water. If your child is not able to do this without hesitation, you will become very frustrated trying to progress any further. Blowing bubbles is a good step towards this, especially for younger kids. Goggles are perfectly acceptable, even preferable given the chlorine content of some public pools. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next step after this is floating, front and back. I like to concentrate on free style swimming, with backstroke as a recovery option if they become tired. I have seen other instructors try to introduce multiple strokes early on, but I find this counter productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="825" LastActivityDate="2011-05-11T18:39:41.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1412" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-12T02:01:39.677" Score="14" ViewCount="11450" Body="&lt;p&gt;I frequently see parents engaging in behavior that I perceive to be verbal abuse.  However, with so many parents falling in different places with regard to the strictness of their discipline, the directness of their communication with their children, etc. I am finding it hard to put into words an objective standard that separates verbal abuse from strictness, directness, or just plain bad parenting that hasn't escalated to the point of abuse.  To my knowledge, there is no legal concept of &quot;verbal abuse&quot;, at least where I live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you were asked to describe, as objectively as possible, what specific quality or qualities make(s) a parent's behavior verbally abusive, as opposed to not abusive (though potentially much less than ideal), how would you do it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user808" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-04T12:11:13.337" LastActivityDate="2019-06-04T12:11:13.337" Title="What constitutes verbal abuse of one's child?" Tags="|parents|communication|abuse|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1412" CreationDate="2011-05-12T05:57:39.677" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200812/are-you-dating-abuser&quot;&gt;Here's&lt;/a&gt; a good article on the topic for dating, but most of it applies to a parent-child relationship as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very difficult to define for any one event, but a good rule of thumb is are the words intended to hurt, or are they just because you are hurt?  Occasional yelling because you are angry, or exhausted, or at the end of your rope does not necessarily constitute abuse.  Yelling regularly with words expressly calculated with the intent of making your child cry or feel belittled or afraid of you does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T05:57:39.677" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1387" CreationDate="2011-05-12T07:02:29.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to start this out by saying 1. I only have children under 4, so I'm lucky if I can get them to watch a decent movie without running away to find new ways to get in to something dangerous/destructive (I swear, one day I will find my one-year-old repelling down the side of the fridge). 2. I am lucky if they are listening to classical on the radio. I make the following statements as a trained musician, not from my experiences as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you thought about starting with operettas? Gilbert and Sullivan are, on the whole, comparable in &quot;musicality&quot; to the operas in the Bel Canto style, and are far more accessible (I dare you to try to claim that Turandot is anywhere close to as easy to understand as Mikado).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, I would suggest looking into local companies. I know of one group in my home town who does maybe a couple of operas a year. Small, volunteer organizations are far more likely to present these than large companies -- larger companies generally view that as uncouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard some good things about opera films. I remember my dad being particularly fond of a version of Don Giovanni. That strikes me as an easy way to transition to the actual stage productions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="324" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T07:02:29.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1412" CreationDate="2011-05-12T07:02:29.933" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are raising your voice, to assert control, to make your child fear you, imo it's abuse, regardless of the words you are coming out with.  We all fall foul of it, occassionaly, but it is a form of abuse.  I believe there has to be a tonal difference with your voice to identify the difference between 'normal business' and 'you've done something wrong', but rather than shout, form strong words are necessary from time to time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with @Karl Bielefeldt i.e yelling when there's been a bit of a loss of control, due to a long day, or for whatever reasons, doesn't constitute abuse, but is heading in that direction.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the links between verbal abuse and physical abuse (spanking etc) are that you are asserting control over someone by bullying them, making them submissive; for me it strangles creativity too, but that's a personal thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have an article I read not long ago which I agree with, on almost all levels, about what constitutes the abuse you're talking about, be that teachers at school ridiculing kids who give the wrong answers or their coaches laughing at their perceived frailties, or weaknesses; it's all the same thing.  Interestingly, the article links fear in the parents as one of the factors in why they verbally abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have strayed too far with my voice, but never the content; I'd be mortified if I called my child stupid, or weak, or useless.  The most I have ever accused any of my children, was of being a bit sooky sometimes.  Even then I felt bad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My overwhelming belief, however, is that parents who try too hard to get their children to be submissive to them, and society generally, have control issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotaly, I have a friend whose father was a Sergeant Major in the army.  He had 7 siublings.  The father had control of a regient of men (some 600 soldiers), whom every one would crawl over broken glass for, would, literally and physically, die for.  yet he couldn't control his kids.  The father would beat the kids, at almost every transgression and eventually ended up having a breakdown.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cecillethestoryteller.wordpress.com/2008/06/22/the-effects-of-verbal-abuse-on-the-development-of-children-attachment/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The effects of verbal abuse&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T07:02:29.933" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1294" CreationDate="2011-05-12T07:30:09.627" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My personal preference is for the microwave -- use a similar container and a formula for the amount of time you run it (I generally do 6-7 sec./oz). If it comes out too hot and you need it right away, poor a (very) little bit out and replace it with cold milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: it only takes a small amount of cold milk to offset overly warm milk, so there is a risk of overdoing it a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="324" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T07:30:09.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1409" CreationDate="2011-05-12T07:55:41.833" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my kids have some form of lactose intolerance. Whenever they have milk, they develop a mild rash. Take the milk away for a few days and the rash goes away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've switched to soy- and rice-based alternatives for now, and try to give the children some milk once every few months to see if it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our oldest, who is five, now shows less signs of rash, while the youngest, who is almost two, reacts every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps, Roy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="524" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T07:55:41.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1406" CreationDate="2011-05-12T08:32:26.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Diaper changes, if the diaper is getting big then we change it. We probably go through a lot of diapers but its been worth it to not have to worry about rashes. Keeping a good supply on hand, and in the diaper bag (along with small trash bags) for disposal while travelling has been good for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T08:32:26.840" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-12T08:32:26.840" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1406" CreationDate="2011-05-12T08:33:23.220" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important item has been protective ointment, we use the Balmex Clear Protective Ointment, although I am sure any similar product will be fine, and put this on at each diaper change. Sometimes smaller amounts, but if there was a big diaper we put on a wider application.  This keeps a good layer of protection between baby and diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T08:33:23.220" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-12T08:33:23.220" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-05-12T11:11:11.503" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've always taught our children that Santa is a game that people play, not something real -- it's important for us not to lie to our children.  They still enjoy playing the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also find that this helps when interacting with other children who very much believe in Santa -- encouraging our children not to spoil the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="840" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T11:11:11.503" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1421" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1429" CreationDate="2011-05-12T11:19:41.410" Score="20" ViewCount="1700" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid to let my children get into relationships(i.e. girl-boyfriendships) too early just in case it did them no good. At what age would it be safe to allow our children this liberty?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-05-24T14:59:47.127" LastActivityDate="2015-08-12T13:52:42.810" Title="When is it safe to start letting our children go into relationships?" Tags="|relationships|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2011-05-12T11:54:22.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have swam with our children since they were 6 months old, so that they felt it as a natural part of their life; the first child we used to go maybe 5 times a week initially.  I think the main part is in getting them to feel confident in the water.  I have 3 girls and I am VERY boisterous with them in the pool, so that they quickly get over having water splashed into their eyes.  As very young infants, we'd 'throw' them to each other underwater.  They will very quickly learn how to float (I taught them all to lay on their backs and not panic if they felt they were sinking as they will float - after a while they get it), after this they learn quickly to move about, I am talking a few weeks.  When it comes to strokes, there are books, but, sorry to put this, we've found getting a professional in at this stage pays massive dividends as they know how to quickly coach a stroke into your kids; you don't and they seems to, after a stage, listen more to professionals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a while, when they are okay about going underwater (this does take a while), get them to dive; we have heaps of diving toys and they quickly learn to love 'diving' to the bottom of the pool returning them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One note of caution, is never to betray their trust in a pool whilst they lack confidence, as this takes an age to rebuild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have 3 girls, one was swimming on her own aged 2, the middle one 3 and the third is not quite old enough to be allowed into a pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not insightful old fool, I just love swim time with the kids; it's fun and once you promote that, the swimming seems to develop very quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:12:33.083" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:12:33.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2011-05-12T11:55:25.780" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why would you want to &lt;strong&gt;restrict&lt;/strong&gt; your child's attempts at a romantic relationship? It is not alcohol, or smoking: there is no fundamentally negative effect from dating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about your child becoming sexually active, trying to restrict it won't help much there, either.  Such attempts will likely have the opposite effect: teenagers can and do rebel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the possibility of a broken heart - you can't have any affect on it at all.  What is important is that your child has your support and trust, and trying to restrict their (totally normal) forays into puppy love or romance won't earn you their trust or encourage them to come to you for support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-05-12T13:10:05.840" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T13:10:05.840" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2011-05-12T12:29:42.543" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nothing says &quot;I think I love you&quot; like &quot;my parents don't want us to be together.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not certain what you mean by &quot;just in case it did them no good.&quot;  Not every relationship is going to work, and this sounds dangerously close to setting the expectation that you should only enter into a relationship if it will result in long-term commitment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early dating should be a learning experience.  It is just as important to learn how to identify and get out of a relationship that isn't working as it is to learn what makes a relationship work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Nikita mentioned, attempting to restrict your child's romantic relationships will most likely not work.  In fact, attempts like that all too frequently backfire.  At best, you're fighting against peer pressure and your child's desire to exert control over their life.  At worst, you're fighting all that plus hormones.  Your best bet is to educate.  Make sure they understand the pitfalls of dating, and give advice on how to deal with various situations (how to show appreciation, be willing to listen, how to apologize, how to draw boundaries if necessary, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think dating is generally a tough topic for parents because it is one of the biggest signs of the approaching end of childhood.  It reminds us that we won't be the most important people in their lives forever, and that they are becoming more and more capable of looking after themselves and making their own decisions.  It is very easy to lose sight of the fact that that is the ultimate goal of parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T12:29:42.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1425" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1444" CreationDate="2011-05-12T15:11:32.790" Score="39" ViewCount="176489" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to send my son to learn martial arts as soon as possible as I believe this would help him gain confidence in his early stages of life (it worked for me when I was an adult)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age should I send him? I suppose this question could apply to any sport though&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Are some martial arts more appropriate than others for kids or is it just a matter of preference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="51" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T06:03:58.190" Title="What age is it appropriate to start martial arts?" Tags="|age-appropriate|sports|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2011-05-12T16:39:20.550" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most martial arts schools don't take kids until they are 4 or 5, depending on the class and the school.  I started my son about the time he turned 5, he's been doing it about a year and hasn't gotten fully into it yet but we have noticed an improvement in his balance.  I also attend the same school, and did for a year before I signed him up, I believe its important to check out the community in the school.  Many martial arts schools tend to also have a parents community to help out for public events, getting to know some of them is important as it will reflect on the other students in the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One additional item I want to note, in the younger classes in our school the older kids (mostly teens with brown or black ranking) teach younger kids.  Many times the young kids respond better as its someone closer to them teaching rather than an adult.  It also gives older kids some practice in coaching and teaching, as well as giving back to the school, which is an important part of a community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2011-05-13T11:59:26.287" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T11:59:26.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2011-05-12T17:25:52.047" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;In contrast with the other answerers, I think that it's reasonable and healthy to restrict a child's ability to go out on dates and engage in romantic relationships in accordance with their age. You have to strike a balance: romance, dating and sex are dangerous and difficult to get right, but practically speaking you can only learn how to successfully negotiate them with a certain amount of trial-and-error. You need to help your child by making an informed judgement of their ability to make good decisions and handle heartbreak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, here are some general guidelines:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children under the age of 12 or so should not go out on dates at all, period. They may &lt;em&gt;say&lt;/em&gt; that they have a boy/girlfriend, but at this age it's little more than a schoolyard crush, and I see no reason to encourage it. But there's also little reason to stop children from saying that they have a bf/gf if they want to. This is when you should start educating your child about sex and adult relationships.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children from the age of 12 to 15 or so might have moderately serious relationships, and will probably do fine in group dates or chaperoned dates. One-on-one dates are probably premature at this stage, especially since kids at this age have relatively little money or means to get around by themselves. I would still be wary of parties and group situations with inadequate adult supervision, though, as emotions and hormones far exceed wisdom at this age. Your guidance in this period may prepare your kids for more serious and independent relationships later.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;From 15 to 18, kids get the ability to drive themselves (in the US, at least), may have their own cars, or at least probably have friends with cars and mobility. So in practical terms, your &lt;em&gt;ability&lt;/em&gt; to restrict your kids' movement and relationships goes down a lot at this point. The good news is that by this point most teens will be able to handle one-on-one dates and more serious relationships by this point on their own. They'll probably hurt themselves a few times, but will hopefully avoid catastrophe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After the age of 18 kids are effectively adults, and you can't manage their life anyway. Any mistakes at this point are their own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there are exceptions to all of this. I know a couple that began dating when they were 13, and dated continuously with a few breaks until they were 18, at which point they married.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="566" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T17:25:52.047" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2011-05-12T19:31:30.867" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;To preface, my answer is based on a personal belief in abstinence before marriage, and on guidance I received from my own parents and church leaders when I was a teen on how to structure relationships in order to make that goal attainable.  It worked for me, and I plan to encourage my own children along the same lines when they are older.  My intent isn't to start a debate on the merits of abstinence, merely to answer the original question from the point of view of someone with that goal in mind for their children.  It might also be useful for people who only feel abstinence is important up to a certain age.  If such a goal offends you or you find it anachronistic, feel free to ignore my answer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No dating before the age of 16, defined as pairing off in social contexts.  Chaperoned group activities or dances are okay as long as you aren't exclusive in who you pay attention to during the event.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After age 16, double dates or group dates are allowed, but not &quot;steady dating.&quot;  That term wasn't clearly defined for me, so I defined it myself as more than two dates in a row with the same person.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After age 18, standards are self-imposed, but parents can still encourage.  I decided to continue the steady dating policy for myself until I felt I was prepared for dating to potentially progress to marriage.  I started single dating, but made a point to never be completely alone with my dates.  It's much easier to avoid temptation if someone, even a stranger 100 feet away, can always see you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overly restrictive?  Maybe.  I chafed at it myself a few times, but then I realized I was having dates more often, with a larger variety of activities that most of my more &quot;liberated&quot; friends.  Ironically, because I was specifically avoiding looking for something serious at first, I didn't worry about going on a date that might not work out.  My friends were more reluctant to ask someone out because of increased expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T19:31:30.867" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1430" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-12T20:29:36.800" Score="31" ViewCount="31388" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, my two-year-old son has been taking off his diaper at nap time. It's usually full and dirty and makes a big mess. He has managed to do it while wearing all types of pants (even overalls). This only happens at nap time. Does anyone have any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="849" LastEditorUserId="1307" LastEditDate="2011-07-13T23:21:05.887" LastActivityDate="2018-03-23T08:20:26.637" Title="How can I stop my two year old from taking off his diaper in bed?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|diaper|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2011-05-12T20:45:33.193" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry, I couldn't help laughing out loud :-)  Been there, done that, but the pants thing has always worked for us.  Sometimes easier said than done, but you can try moving nap time so he can finish it with a clean diaper, or maybe try a heavier duty/more absorbent brand.  It sounds like he's just uncomfortable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T20:45:33.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1432" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1434" CreationDate="2011-05-12T20:58:51.367" Score="12" ViewCount="1884" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to buy a baby monitor but I am overwhelmed by all the different options. based on your experience, what are the most important features to look for in a baby monitor? Please explain the reasons for your preference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="30" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:10:46.233" LastActivityDate="2011-08-20T15:59:08.433" Title="What are the most important features to look for in a baby monitor?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1400" CreationDate="2011-05-12T21:01:05.717" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, kids learn more from copying you than from listening to you.  It sounds like you are already acting calmly yourselves during an episode.  Make sure to show him what to do more than telling.  If it's happening so infrequently, it might be beneficial to roleplay it with him before bed every night until he can do it without prompting, then a refresher once a week or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you might discuss with your pediatrician the potential of getting something like a pulse oximeter or apnea monitor, so you don't have to count on him informing you and can intervene before he becomes too panicked.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T21:01:05.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1432" CreationDate="2011-05-12T21:20:06.427" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most important to us is portability and good battery life, because it's difficult to keep the receiver plugged into just one place.  I would next check for clear reception.  Hearing static all the time can get annoying.  Digital is better for this in general, but there are good analog ones too.  As a rule of thumb, higher GHz numbers traditionally have better immunity to interference, but depending on what gadgets you and your neighbors have this isn't always the case.  Don't be afraid to return one if the static is just too annoying at your house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally would take video &lt;em&gt;off&lt;/em&gt; the list unless price isn't an issue, because you usually use the monitor when you're sleeping or otherwise engaged.  New parents will always go into the baby's room when he's fussing anyway, and experienced parents know what sounds to ignore without video.  Video monitors also use more bandwidth, so it's harder to find one that doesn't cause or be affected by interference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also off my personal must have list is encryption unless it doesn't cost extra.  The signal doesn't go much past the end of your driveway, and if someone is camped out there listening to your baby sleep I think you have bigger privacy issues than your baby monitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T21:20:06.427" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1435" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-12T23:05:21.257" Score="14" ViewCount="1540" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, one of the techniques for improving behaviour that you often hear about is the &quot;star chart&quot;. You put the focus on good behaviour by adding stars (I nearly said &quot;badges&quot;) for the good stuff and when the row is complete the child gets a reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're going to start one off tomorrow but my kids are between 5 and 8 and so the reward has to be a big one to be meaningful to them and to keep them engaged. So we have this nice treat lined up for when they've filled 15 or 25 stars or something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I figure on listing under the chart the kinds of behaviour which will earn a star (&quot;getting dressed promptly on school days&quot;, &quot;fighting less&quot;, &quot;helping lay the table&quot; and plenty more besides). They're starting to read now so it'll help to remind all of us what behaviour we're looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess my question is, how to make the goals concrete for the children? What we're trying to achieve is &lt;strong&gt;sustained&lt;/strong&gt; reduction in fighting, &lt;strong&gt;consistently less&lt;/strong&gt; nagging required at getting dressed time, &lt;strong&gt;regular&lt;/strong&gt; help with laying the table etc. Awarding a star for just a single instance of getting dressed promptly is pointless, since it already happens from time to time. We're not looking for one-offs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand saying x has got to occur 10 times or 5 days in a row, or at least 4 times in one week, in order to earn a star, well, it's just too unmanageable. People will lose count.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any better ideas? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:11:06.420" LastActivityDate="2017-05-11T15:54:54.083" Title="How do you operate a successful &quot;Star Chart&quot;?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|reward|star-chart|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1412" CreationDate="2011-05-12T23:09:52.840" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Karl's answer, but I'd like to add a few things on the subject of raising one's voice, and Hairy's comments about &quot;asserting control&quot; over a child being abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children, particularly young ones, are not usually aware of potentially life-threatening situations.  It is our job as parents to protect them from those situations, first and foremost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child is in a dangerous situation and you have to yell at them to get them to react, by all means do so.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it becomes a regular situation, and your child does not respond when you raise your voice at them when they are in danger, then you &lt;strong&gt;need&lt;/strong&gt; to find some way to assert control.  Yes, generally speaking children do better when they feel like they have some level of say and control over their lives, but parents need to be able and willing to step in and give orders that will be obeyed &lt;em&gt;when the situation merits it&lt;/em&gt; (which, generally speaking, is when there is behavior that is dangerous, either to the child or other people).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Claiming &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; instance of raising your voice to a child, or &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; attempt to &quot;assert control&quot; is &quot;heading in the direction&quot; of abuse is, in my opinion, a serious overstatement. I guarantee you that if, in 20 years, your child sobs to his/her therapist &quot;my daddy yelled at me once when I was 5, and it made me feel really bad!  And all I was doing was playing in the road with cars coming...&quot; the therapist will side with you.  Even if there are half a dozen examples, if each one involves you yelling when your child is in a dangerous situation, no one will find you to be at fault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Abuse is a serious, and horrible thing, and verbal abuse is not one iota &quot;less horrible&quot; than any form of physical abuse.  In some ways it can be worse.  But neglecting your responsibilities as a parent to protect your child out of fear that maybe you might permanently emotionally scar your child if you are strict in enforcing certain rules can be as damaging or worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important (and extremely difficult) to find a balance between strict and supportive.  Too strict can quickly become oppressive, and can stifle the child's emotional growth.  Too supportive can quickly become permissive, which results in a child with no understanding of boundaries.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-05-12T23:09:52.840" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2011-05-13T00:00:10.770" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Duct Tape (aka Duck Tape). We actually had to do that a couple times. Of course be sure you check on your son frequently, because he may have an aversion to having the stinky diaper on - he may be developing a diaper rash. Also be sure the tape doesn't get on his skin as it will probably irritate his skin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son got through it after a while and we didn't use the tape for long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="854" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-05-19T08:38:32.767" LastActivityDate="2017-05-19T08:38:32.767" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1412" CreationDate="2011-05-13T00:12:51.980" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a huge spectrum between ideal and dangerously unhealthy interaction with one's child, and it's really hard to say &quot;this is the point at which it's abuse&quot; as opposed to just plain bad parenting.  Here are some things that, after working with at risk kids for nearly a decade, I would categorize as elements of verbal abuse, however, I won't speculate on how much or in what combination they must occur to &lt;em&gt;be&lt;/em&gt; abuse...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ad-hominem attacks&lt;/strong&gt;: &quot;you're stupid&quot; &quot;you're ugly&quot; etc. will never be helpful or useful because they teach your child that whatever angered you is beyond their control yet still their fault, it's just a way to vent your rage.  A healthy interaction focuses on problem &lt;em&gt;behaviors&lt;/em&gt; and ways to change them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unpredictability&lt;/strong&gt;: Kids require consistency to learn right from wrong; if they don't know what will anger you and what won't, all they are learning is fear.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Threats of or actual physical harm, abandonment, etc.&lt;/strong&gt;: Again, this isn't constructive in any way, it &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; teaches fear.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unrealistic insistence on one's own power and/or infallibility&lt;/strong&gt;: This is a bid for control that either backfires, destroying any parent/child relationship, or works, teaching your child maladaptive strategies such as highly external locus of control, a fatalist world-view, and dependence on authority.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Attributing fault for things outside the child's control&lt;/strong&gt;: This teaches the child that he/she cannot choose his/her own lot in life, and that he/she cannot trust the parent.  It usually leads to self-destructive behaviors of some kind.  I saw this a lot with parents who thought they could punish a child out of some disability.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure there are things I haven't thought of, but I think those give a good idea of what abusive patterns may look like.  This isn't to say that snapping over something you usually wouldn't, or letting something go you normally discipline, or misattributing control over a situation is automatically abuse -- no parent is perfect.  However, if these things constitute a defining pattern in the child's life, something is seriously wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T00:12:51.980" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1435" CreationDate="2011-05-13T00:22:23.747" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I have done in the past with similar things is &lt;strong&gt;enroll&lt;/strong&gt; the kids in developing the program. Tell them you want to reward them for good behavior. Let them know you think they are great kids and want to reward them for what they are already doing (again focus on the positive). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Kids want to be good&lt;/em&gt;, but it is hard for them to work with their developing brain and body to always do what they know is right, and it takes time to make good behaviors into good habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask them what sorts of behaviors need to be on the chart. You can prompt them too: &quot;Do you think it is important to get dressed in the morning for school? Should we put that on here too?&quot; Make sure there are some really easy ones for them too, ones they will get no problem. The idea is you want to develop &lt;strong&gt;momentum&lt;/strong&gt; of good behavior. Especially at that age you want them to earn multiple stars every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also make sure you phrase each objective in &lt;em&gt;positive&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;concrete&lt;/em&gt; terms. Instead of &quot;not fighting&quot; phrase it as &quot;getting along&quot; as well as &quot;Using inside voice when inside&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as when to give them stars, you want to give them stars &lt;em&gt;each time they do it right&lt;/em&gt;. The star is the &lt;strong&gt;immediate gratification&lt;/strong&gt; that helps them to focus on the outcome you want them to achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can have the columns on the chart dated, and say they need 7 stars in a row to earn a prize. Then you have smaller prizes like a candy bar, an hour of time with dad / mom, etc. Then when they have 5 rows they get a big prize like that trip to the amusement park, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adjust the prizes and durations as necessary, especially when starting a new chart -- once something becomes habit, it doesn't need to be formally rewarded every time (that's not to say a random treat or &quot;&lt;em&gt;good job&lt;/em&gt;&quot; for reinforcement shouldn't be given on occassion).  Focus on things that are easy to do, but not yet habit, or aren't yet easy to do/remember and need additional motivation to master.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The keys: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Enroll&lt;/strong&gt; the kids in developing the program.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Focus on the &lt;strong&gt;positive&lt;/strong&gt; in the goals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make goals &lt;strong&gt;concrete&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have &lt;strong&gt;stretch&lt;/strong&gt; goals (stuff they need to work on) and &lt;strong&gt;easy&lt;/strong&gt; goals (stuff they are already doing) - you could use different colored stars for the stretch vs easy goals, then tie different rewards to them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give &lt;em&gt;lots of stars&lt;/em&gt; - a star by itself is a nice reward - the recognition - make a big deal of it when they earn a star.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have &lt;strong&gt;small prizes&lt;/strong&gt; (candy bar, bonus time with parent, etc.) that lead to &lt;strong&gt;big prizes&lt;/strong&gt; (day at the beach, take them out of school for a movie, etc.) Again the momentum is important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make the goals &lt;strong&gt;grow with your children&lt;/strong&gt; so that they learn to earn rewards by accomplishing new things, rather that already-habitual behavior X must come with a reward.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps! Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="854" LastEditorUserId="854" LastEditDate="2017-05-11T15:54:54.083" LastActivityDate="2017-05-11T15:54:54.083" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1409" CreationDate="2011-05-13T00:50:54.463" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had kids with lactose intolerance too. It is more common then most people realize, and can show up in a variety of ways (not just rashes and ear infections, although those are the most common).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eliminate dairy completely for a short amount of time - it is possible to do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take them to an allergist and have them tested.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We eliminated all dairy from our kids diets and their ear infections went away. It was actually at the recommendation of a Chiropractor who we had great success with his treating their chronic ear infections. I would suggest finding a local Chiropractor (find one that treats young children) to treat the ear infections while you are eliminating dairy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="854" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T00:50:54.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1406" CreationDate="2011-05-13T00:53:00.967" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found different brands of diapers to help a lot. Some brands almost always led to rashes, while others helped prevent rashes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="854" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T00:53:00.967" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-13T00:53:00.967" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1443" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1445" CreationDate="2011-05-13T01:43:39.637" Score="58" ViewCount="6145" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I will be having a son in about a month and we are still deciding if we should have him circumcised.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There does not seem to be a strong medical opinion on the matter but we are concerned about potential social issues associated with him being different than the other boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone suggest resources that might help us better understand the pros and cons of circumcision?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T21:28:45.670" Title="Should we circumcise our son?" Tags="|infant|health|newborn|development|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2011-05-13T01:55:37.790" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The appropriate age depends a great deal on the specific style/art in question, the type of dojo, and the particular child.&lt;/strong&gt;  Most Karate dojos I know take kids starting around age 4-6.  Most Krav Maga dojos I know won't take anyone under 14-16; some won't take minors at all.  My friend's Brazilian Jui-Jitsu dojo only takes kids from age 10, but I'm told that most are willing to start younger than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming an appropriate level of kid-friendliness in the selected dojo, &lt;strong&gt;a child is generally ready for martial arts study when he or she:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can tell left from right.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;has developed empathy (meaning specifically that the child groks that others have feelings, and that their behavior can effect others' well-being).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;has developed age-appropriate manners (will wait his/her turn to speak, will listen quietly to an instructor, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;has the attention span to give 100% for the length of a class period (typically 30 minutes for small children, to 60 minutes for older children and adults).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;will (probably with some prompting from parents) reliably practice at least every other day (every day for older children).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can take polite criticism in stride, i.e. think &quot;here's how I can do this better&quot; instead of &quot;I'm awful and everyone hates me, waaaahhh!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What art/style you choose for your child is not nearly as important as what dojo and Sensei you choose.&lt;/strong&gt;  Some dojos just aren't set up to teach children well.  Others are good with older kids, but lack the special awsomesauce that reaches young students.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some traits that make a dojo great for children under 10:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offers &quot;family&quot; classes where parents and children of varying ages may train together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Has plenty of incremental rewards.  Small children can't just look at the change in their body mechanics and know they've made progress -- they need to be told.  While a dojo that uses no displays of ranks, or a simple white/black belt system can be wonderful for adults and mature teens, that is an inadequate level of reinforcement for primary school children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A program well-suited to the youngest students uses patches, colored belts, achievement stripes, a wall chart, a log book, or some other concrete indication to your child when progress has been made.  For very young children, there should be some indication of achievement that they can earn at least every 1-2 weeks.  This way they know when they have accomplished something, and they internalize that things like focus and practice are good strategies.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The sensei uses real (and not-so-real) world examples kids can relate to.  &quot;We use four fingers in a split-finger eye strike in case we miss slightly, or in the event of attack by a four-eyed monster!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The sensei is &lt;em&gt;patient&lt;/em&gt; and pays attention to the individual children.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The sensei teaches not only martial arts skills, but appropriate lessons on when they should or shouldn't be used.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The sensei incorporates games into classes that include small children.  Karate dodge ball, jump the noodle, kickpad leapfrog, and so on make learning fun (and give kids a chance to watch the grown-ups in the class look ridiculous).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The sensei groups students primarily by rank/progress, so that everyone is challenged at their own level.  (This isn't to say that there are no &quot;adults only&quot; classes, but that a 7th kyu student doesn't experience slowed progress due to being grouped predominantly with 9th kyu age peers.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The dojo community shares values that mesh well with your family's values.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This, of course, is all in addition to the things that make a good dojo in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-05-13T02:07:37.080" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T02:07:37.080" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1443" CreationDate="2011-05-13T02:06:21.620" Score="59" Body="&lt;p&gt;This was a difficult decision for us, as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was convinced that circumcision was the wrong choice for us (despite my upbringing teaching me that all boys should be circumcised), but my wife was hesitant, for exactly the same reason you cited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did some research, and we were surprised to find that circumcision rates were much lower than we had expected.  In our area, the doctors we asked said that it was roughly 50% of the male babies.  It turns out that this is not too far from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cirp.org/library/statistics/USA/&quot;&gt;national average&lt;/a&gt; in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We came up with a list of pros and cons for circumcision, and eventually decided to not have our son circumcised.  Here is the list that we came up with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For circumcision:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Less chance of a feeling of being &quot;different&quot; (while not much of a margin, it is still true that most men in our area are circumcised).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Easier hygiene.  By all accounts, the extra effort required to maintain an uncircumcised penis versus a circumcised is minimal, and amounts to only a few extra seconds of effort a day (and no extra effort prior to the foreskin being naturally retractable).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Won't have to explain why he &quot;looks different than daddy&quot;, should that ever come up (I am, to my regret, circumcised).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Religion.  Some religions require that all males be circumcised.  Personally, I had no problem putting aside my religious heritage when it came to this matter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/circumcision.htm&quot;&gt;studies&lt;/a&gt; indicate that there is a reduced risk of catching the HIV virus for circumcised men.  This was another point that my wife considered as a strong argument in favor at first, but eventually we decided that we would rather our son learn to have safe sex, instead of relying upon a slightly lessened risk for HIV from unprotected sex.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Against circumcision:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Despite the claims, circumcision is painful, stressful, and traumatic to an infant.  Even the best methods of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ssmedcenter.com/healthy_pregnancy/circumcision.cfm&quot;&gt;anesthesia&lt;/a&gt; are only partially effective.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Once done, it cannot be undone.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is a risk of infection and other complications.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Poorly performed circumcisions can leave scarring.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Religion.  Some religions are opposed to circumcision.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, we decided to leave him uncircumcised, with the understanding that if he decides he does want to be circumcised, he can always opt for the procedure later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-06-12T23:17:46.657" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T23:17:46.657" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1400" CreationDate="2011-05-13T02:59:25.130" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Beofett already stated, lack of breathing brings about a sense of panic that is too powerful for most 5yo kids to counter.  However, here are some things you can try to help lessen the &lt;em&gt;duration&lt;/em&gt; of the panic reaction to something more manageable:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a cheap wireless doorbell unit&lt;/strong&gt; and put the button by his bed, and the receiver by your bed. This way he knows that you are on your way &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; crying and panicking to get help.  It's unlikely that he can be capable of coming to get you during an attack, and since you mentioned that you must prep the inhaler, he cannot directly counter the attack himself.  He needs something that &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; can do to help bring about the end of an attack, rather than helplessly hoping you notice him struggling to breathe (which is how it probably feels from his perspective).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be a breathing partner&lt;/strong&gt;. We react instinctually to the patterns of people we are close to: think of the way you fall into step with someone if you walk and talk with them, or how lying next to your child as he falls asleep makes &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; sleepy.  Try having him put his hands on your chest, and look at your face while you do the kind of breathing you want him to do.  Try this when he's &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; having an attack and it may be easier when he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; having one.  It works with some kids, doesn't with others, but it's worth a shot.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Respond to attacks in a calm, predictable way.&lt;/strong&gt; If he knows that you will respond immediately to the bell, and that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are not afraid, he will begin to see the end of the tunnel sooner, and feel like he has helped cause the situation to be resolved.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Create a ritual&lt;/strong&gt; that follows every attack.  Once the attack has fully subsided (not before, not ten minutes after), get him a drink of water and turn on some music, or tuck him in with a special stuffed animal.  The idea here is to condition him to know &lt;em&gt;this is really over now&lt;/em&gt; as soon as you bring the ritual into play.  It will take time for this to take effect, but once it does, that ritual will cue him to calm down more quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T02:59:25.130" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2011-05-13T07:33:46.930" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start them as early as possible. I managed to get my daughter into a taekwon do class at age 3 (as she was happily sparring with her brother when he joined at 5) and she has loved every minute. 3 years later and she is a green belt and winning gold in competitions against boys much bigger than her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Totally agree with @HedgeMage on finding one that does offer incremental rewards to the young ones, and attendance medals at competitions etc., and a sensei/instructor who knows how to instill discipline in young children while keeping it fun for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T07:33:46.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1443" CreationDate="2011-05-13T09:22:31.123" Score="58" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally saw no benefit to circumcising my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My reasoning:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Being Different&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's three schools of reasoning often used here.  1: &amp;quot;The son should look like the father.&amp;quot; and 2: &amp;quot;Locker room teasing&amp;quot; and 3: girls don't like a guy with a foreskin&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The son isn't going to resemble the father (size wise, hair wise, etc) until he's 15+ and at that point, are they really going to care?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Locker room teasing - all you have to say is, &amp;quot;Dude, stop staring at my junk&amp;quot; out loud towards the person and I guarantee the interest will rapidly disappear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Girls and foreskins: As a female I can say that the presence (or absence) of a foreskin wasn't a priority for me.  It was more a question of the proper usage and how long. My personal opinion: if there's a girl out there that doesn't want to be intimate with my son because he has a foreskin, then he didn't need to be having sex with her anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Hygiene&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a foreskin isn't difficult to keep clean. A stroke back, wash around the head and rinse.  Done.  You'll spend more time trying to teach him to dry between his toes thoroughly than you will worrying about smegma.  My son is 3 and already knows that that portion of his anatomy is fun to play with in his bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until the foreskin retracts on its own, you don't have to do anything to it - it won't be 'dirty' since it's attached to the head of the penis in the manner your fingernail is attached to your finger. It's fused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it does retract on its own (anywhere between the ages of 2-10), then it needs to be cleaned daily in the shower (or bath).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;STD's: HIV, HPV&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The studies linking circumcision and HIV infection are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.futuremedicine.com/doi/full/10.2217/17469600.2.3.193&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;flawed&lt;/a&gt; in a number of ways.  I would prefer to teach my son to be responsible and use barrier birth control (condoms) rather than rely on a medical procedure and a false sense of security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HPV has been likened to a 'sexual cold' due to its prevalence.  Again - with the proper use of condoms the presence (or absence) of a foreskin is irrelevant.  Certainly HPV can be transmitted on areas which the condom doesn't cover (base of the shaft, scrotum, etc) but then - again - the presence or absence of a foreskin is irrelevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Penile cancer&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.journalofandrologicalsciences.eu/media/01_Infection.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Recent research&lt;/a&gt; is also discovering HPV's role in penile cancer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/FqhIM.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Penile Cancer rates Dk, Frish, et al.&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bmj.com/content/311/7018/1471.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Danish Study&lt;/a&gt; determined that the falling rate of penile cancers in Denmark could not be a result of the circumcision rate. In fact, the penile cancer rates of Denmark (where 1.5% of the population is circumcised) are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/hpv/statistics/penile.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;similar&lt;/a&gt; to rates in the US, where the circumcision rate is MUCH higher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Circumcision is a surgery and therefore carries real risks: blood loss, scarring, disfigurement and/or amputations have occurred.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consent: an infant can't possibly consent to a surgical procedure such as this.  Once it's gone - it's gone (there exists methods for foreskin restoration, but the damage is done).  I wouldn't pierce my daughter's ears until she was old enough to ask for them (and understand the ramifications of having pierced ears - cleaning, etc), and I wouldn't cut my son.  If when he's 15+ and he wants to be circumcised, then I will arrange to have it done for him.  He'll be old enough to understand what he's doing to his body and how it'll affect it - and it'll have been HIS choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you asked for the benefits of circumcision, but in my opinion there aren't any.  Assuming no disfiguration of the foreskin/urethra, circumcision shouldn't be necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T08:49:48.393" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2011-05-13T12:32:54.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other answers all mention a solid routine, which is great advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd only add that we often save slower paced activities for our 2 year old until near bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example this is one of the few times we're happy for him to watch kids TV (which in the U.K. has a specific slower paced bedtime programming).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T12:32:54.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1432" CreationDate="2011-05-13T12:51:54.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Karl says, &quot;New parents will always go into the baby's room when he's fussing anyway, and experienced parents know what sounds to ignore without video.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But... I think the video feature (with 'night vision') is very usefull for comfortably making the transition from being a new parent to being an experienced parent.  In between those stages, you'll hear a sound, look at the video, see whether they are fully awake or just having little &quot;baby nightmares&quot; and overtime learn to tell the difference just by sound.  Going into the room to observe whether they need your attention tends to be ineffective since the act of going into the room will often wake them up or excite them if they are partially awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ability to push a button to remotely play music or toggle lights is a common thing on these gadgets but we found them totally useless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="835" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T12:51:54.197" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1432" CreationDate="2011-05-13T13:38:46.497" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say that these factors are relevant to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you need...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bidirectional sound?&lt;/strong&gt; All monitors can transmit TO the parent unit. Mine can't send sound back to the child; I don't miss it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Music?&lt;/strong&gt; My unit can't play soothing music. I don't miss the ability to &lt;em&gt;remotely&lt;/em&gt; select to play something &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;, or what to play. I sometimes do miss the ability to just have soothing background sound -- my son is soothed by the sound of rain. I have another device to play that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Video?&lt;/strong&gt; I don't miss being able to see the child. I'm always near enough and it's not a big bother to get up and peek into the room, even without turning on the light. More technically-minded people might like a night-vision camera feature; I just don't care personally.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clear signal?&lt;/strong&gt; I'd say you should &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; choose a DECT (digital) system. You avoid radio static and interference from other monitors and from other kinds of devices.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Range?&lt;/strong&gt; My unit has no range problem in a normal house, even across one floor level. It does not reach from a hotel room to the restaurant; I don't think any product will reliably do that. If you don't have special range requirements, ignore this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Portability?&lt;/strong&gt; The parent unit &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; have batteries, and a simple drop-in charging station. The baby unit doesn't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; it but it can be convenient for traveling.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Temperature/humidity measurement?&lt;/strong&gt; I don't miss these features. I wouldn't easily be able to change those conditions anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find lots of variety on your local Amazon site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-13T14:05:43.000" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T14:05:43.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1453" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1454" CreationDate="2011-05-13T14:33:41.060" Score="19" ViewCount="4126" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever I'm alone with my son, we play, have fun, and he even plays alone with his toys for a long time; this also happens when my wife is alone with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, when we are both present, he becomes clingy and doesn't want to play alone. We must be with him almost all the time (at least one of us, not both), even if he doesn't interact with us he wants us sitting in the floor near him. Otherwise, he cries a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 1 year and 7 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could cause this behavior? How can we try to correct it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="51" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-05-15T14:21:46.133" LastActivityDate="2018-07-13T05:52:12.987" Title="Why does my son behave better when he's alone with one parent than with both?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|tantrums|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1453" CreationDate="2011-05-13T15:11:14.337" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my kids did this when they were that age. It basically boils down to the kiddo does not have your (or your partner's) undivided attention and they want it. There are several ways to cure this behavior, or least I have been told there are. The one that work best for my family was the following procedure...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When we all came together we would devote a minute or two of our attention towards each of the children, starting with the youngest. Then we would start an adult conversation and the kids would either continue what they were doing or find something else to do.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;9 times out of 10 this worked like a champ. If it did not there was usually something else going on and the kid(s) needed a bit more attention, so we would allow them that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the extra time did not work either, 99.9% of the time it was a power play from the kids to keep our attention. This would usually lead to secluded time (time out) for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a while the kids began to understand that my wife and I usually did not need more than 10-15 minutes to discuss whatever it was we needed to talk about, and stopped interrupting all together. If there was something they needed after we talked they would wait their turn. Emergencies aside of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are a little older now but the practice of going around the room (usually at the dinner table, we eat early) and sharing a brief summary of the day's events stuck. I look forward to this 30-45 minute period everyday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big thing is whatever course of action you take, you have to be consistent. Kids are very smart and if they see a crack in the defenses, they will exploit it :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="760" LastEditorUserId="760" LastEditDate="2011-05-13T19:50:56.500" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T19:50:56.500" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2011-05-13T15:15:30.010" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will second all of the answers about a constant routine here. One thing I will add is soothing music. To this day if my kids hear a Norah Jones song they start yawning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of my little ones had a small boom box that we would turn on during rough nights and they rarely made it past two songs before they would start snoozing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="760" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T15:15:30.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1406" CreationDate="2011-05-13T16:31:50.710" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We rarely had a diaper rash with cloth diapers. In fact, the only time we had a diaper rash was when we were out and about, she was wearing a disposable, and fell asleep in the car. She ended up sleeping through the night (roughly ~12 hours) with a poop diaper (We didn't want to wake her up to change her, didn't know it was a poopy diaper). The next day, however, we just put ointment on her, gave her lots of diaper-free time and she was fine by the end of the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My tips would be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Diaper-free time&lt;/strong&gt;. We give her 10-20 minutes of diaper free time after every diaper change. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Frequent diaper changes&lt;/strong&gt;. Since we use cloth diapers, we change the diaper as soon as it gets wet / as soon as she poos. It's easy to tell when the diaper is soiled if you use cloth diapers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After a poo, we usually wash her bum. I just carry her over to the bathroom sink and gently rinse it with water. Gets rid of odours and makes sure she is thoroughly cleaned.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cloth diapers &amp;amp; Cloth wipes&lt;/strong&gt;. We use cloth diapers and cloth wipes - there is no fragrance, no chlorine, no bleach - nothing. Just plain ol' clothing. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We only use an ointment if there is a rash. The ointment we used was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dimpleskinsnaturals.com/bbb.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Bum Bum Balm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T16:31:50.710" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-13T16:31:50.710" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1457" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1462" CreationDate="2011-05-13T18:18:48.797" Score="23" ViewCount="11091" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7-year old son asks many questions about World War II. I have the habit not to hide anything, but concepts such as Nazism or the Holocaust are so inherently dreadful that he sometimes seems to believe I exaggerate or even lie to him. His legitimate lack of knowledge of religious and political issues makes it even more difficult for him to get perspective on the stakes that were at hand at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I explain World War II to him, without either giving too many details and leaving him confused, or being too vague about it and letting him think the whole humanity is a lost cause?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for your answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A bit of context:&lt;/strong&gt; I live in Belgium, Europe, so World War II is a huge part of our history and has a very important place in our collective memory. I'm aware that American people may have been much more affected by the acts of terrorism of these past 10 years, and have a different perspective on World War II.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note:&lt;/strong&gt; I don't consider this question a duplicate of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1128/862&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="862" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2018-01-23T14:57:12.657" Title="How do you explain World War II to young children?" Tags="|education|communication|history|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1457" CreationDate="2011-05-13T18:52:06.097" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I consider this to be a more focused question than the one you link to I think the same principles apply in answering a question like this.  You should have a good understanding of what your child can, and probably should, grasp and give your answer accordingly.  I don't go into great detail with my son when he asks questions with deep context, and I know I did not understand a lot of the complexities of World War II until almost college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T18:52:06.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2011-05-13T18:55:04.800" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter gets crazy wired if she is overtired. So you might try moving bedtime 15 minutes earlier until you hit the sweet spot. Also, something that really seems to calm both of my girls down is a walk around the block after they have their jammies on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="865" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T18:55:04.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2011-05-13T19:07:51.420" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As somebody who has studied several martial arts on and off my whole life (starting at age 10) and also taught adults and kids, here's my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you just want an activity for them to do, I would say that the minimum is age 6 or 7 -- prior to that, I don't think they have the coordination, attention span, self-discipline, and understanding of the safety issues for themselves and others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in my experience, kids who start this young typically do it for a couple years and then lose interest.  I know &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; few adult practitioners who started that young.  Most of the best adults I know started as mid-to-late teens or in college.  Anecdotal, but I've seen this trend across several martial arts I've studied, in various schools.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO, starting as a teenager is &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more likely to provide them the basis to pursue it for life.  That is an extraordinary gift.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T19:07:51.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2011-05-13T19:10:52.040" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can try putting the diaper on backwards which may only work for a little while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="865" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T19:10:52.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1457" CreationDate="2011-05-13T20:17:03.327" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The nice thing about one on one discussions versus a classroom lecture setting is that kids that age are pretty good about letting you know they've heard enough.  Start vague and answer his questions with more and more detail.  At some point his attention will start to wander, so you give him time to process it and he will ask again another day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I studied the holocaust extensively in extracurricular work when I was 13.  Even at that age, I understood &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; happened, but not &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; it happened or &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; it could have been allowed to happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best you can explain about the &quot;why&quot; and &quot;how could it&quot; is something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hitler was a very bad man who thought&#xA;  of certain groups of people as no more&#xA;  than pesky bugs that needed to be&#xA;  squished.  Just like you have trouble&#xA;  believing it because it is so&#xA;  horrible, people at the time had&#xA;  trouble too, and Hitler was very good&#xA;  at tricking people into thinking&#xA;  otherwise.  Also, people tried a lot&#xA;  of diplomacy with Hitler at first&#xA;  because WWI was so bad they wanted to&#xA;  avoid another one if at all possible. &#xA;  By the time they decided to stop him&#xA;  with war, Hitler was already powerful enough that it was very difficult to make him stop hurting people, even though they wanted to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything deeper than that I think you have to go with the lame parent excuse of, &quot;You'll understand when you're older.&quot;   There are adults today who can't wrap their heads around it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T20:17:03.327" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1463" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-13T20:19:11.187" Score="7" ViewCount="1385" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;My baby was born at week 38, weighting 4.5 lbs.&#xA;According to the ultrasounds, he stopped growing on week 34 and he was diagnosed at birth with Symmetrical IUGR. Before week 34, everything seemed normal. and he always around the 30% percentile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What problems should I expect, if any, in the development of my baby? Is he supposed to advance according to his age, or develop a few months later as his weight?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the the long term problems related to this situation? and what are his chances of being just fine and grow up as a normal child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Worried Parent&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="867" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:14:41.597" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:31:24.610" Title="What should I expect regarding development of baby born severely underweight with Symmetrical IUGR?" Tags="|newborn|development|premature|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1464" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1479" CreationDate="2011-05-13T20:29:36.823" Score="16" ViewCount="3782" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 9 year old girl has a rather annoying habit. She tends to hoard things of emotional significance to her. Note that the wrapper from an ice-cream she has just had for the first time is considered emotionally significant. A friend gave her a chocolate rabbit for Easter, needless to say that she wont eat it because &quot;it's special&quot;. If a cheap and disposable toy goes missing, she is just crushed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is a very intelligent girl who is generally pretty happy. but it seems that everything is turned up to 11 - very smart but very emotional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone had experience like this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:15:34.513" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T16:56:37.150" Title="How do you address hoarding behavior in a primary-schooler?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2011-05-13T20:40:28.027" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I put the diaper on backwards AND used duct tape with my daughter.  We started potty training IMMEDIATELY when she started peeling off her diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son? He could care less about taking off his diaper. He wants to try to climb up the drapes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T20:40:28.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1409" CreationDate="2011-05-13T20:48:59.943" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Same here, except we are dealing with milk protein which means not even lactose free milk. My 2-year-old gets a rash on her tummy and a runny nose which then means an ear infection. No milk, cheese, yogurt, etc. means no ear infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, soy is also a very very common allergy so while you are trying to decide, I'd avoid soy products as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing - if you do start her on rice milk, it has quite a bit of sugar in it so be sure to start on a good toothbrushing schedule. We didn't and she's showing signs of decay now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="865" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T20:48:59.943" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1463" CreationDate="2011-05-13T20:51:49.477" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, you have my congratulations for your new arrival and condolences for the grief of uncertainty you're experiencing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of your questions you should be asking your doctor.  This isn't easy to do when he first gives you the news because you are still processing the shock of it.  Make an appointment to discuss it with him.  Bring paper to take notes and your spouse or another adult you trust.  They will hear things you miss and help you process it later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not a physician, but from what I've read, symmetrical IUGR can have a number of possible outcomes depending on the cause and severity.  Again this is my non-expert opinion, but I take the fact it didn't seem to be present before week 34 as a positive sign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developmental delays are something I do know about.  My daughter was born at 26 weeks.  As hard as it is to hear, there is no way to predict at birth how things will turn out.  In my experience with my daughter and other acquaintances, if your child is going to have developmental delays, you will usually be able to tell within around 6 months to a year.  My daughter wasn't diagnosed with cerebral palsy until she was around a year old.  Even after a year, the &lt;em&gt;rate&lt;/em&gt; of advancement is very unpredictable.  My daughter was often ahead of her peers in some areas and way behind in others.  After 7 years, we have more of an idea of how she will progress, but she still occasionally surprises us with some sudden advancement.  Many children have very difficult childhoods, but are perfectly fine by adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have some difficulties ahead, but I'm confident you will rise to his challenges and enjoy your child's uniqueness no matter what.  Best of luck to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T20:51:49.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2011-05-13T22:01:25.000" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find that putting a Onesie and overalls on our 20-month-old son usually does the trick.  Overalls over the diaper still allows access from the top. But with the combination of the two, he'll have to work his way from the top and bottom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We actually used a Onesies, then pants, then another Onsie with overalls on top (it was during winter). He gave up after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T22:01:25.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1469" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-13T22:21:56.390" Score="2" ViewCount="1115" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/102/how-do-you-feed-a-picky-eater&quot;&gt;How do you feed a picky eater?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tonight for dinner I had a bunch of mustard greens from our garden, so I cooked them up and added them to spaghetti sauce. My kids would never eat something like greens, but they are none the wiser when these are mixed into spaghetti sauce. In what other ways do/could you sneak healthy foods to kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="789" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T13:53:37.857" Title="Sneaking vegetables (and other healthy foods) to small children" Tags="|nutrition|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2011-06-02T02:39:19.107" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-14T00:03:36.827" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1464" CreationDate="2011-05-13T23:33:54.733" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't provide much background information (and if you're just looking for a general answer then you don't really need to get that personal anyway, especially on a public website) but this could range anywhere from normal attachment to compensation for an unstable home life to an outright disorder on the scale of &quot;object sexualism&quot; like this woman has:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.independent.co.uk/extras/sunday-review/living/i-married-the-eiffel-tower-832519.html&quot;&gt;http://www.independent.co.uk/extras/sunday-review/living/i-married-the-eiffel-tower-832519.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As is mentioned in that article, it could also be a sign of Asperger syndrome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can think of reasons that your daughter might feel insecure (recent move, change of schools, parental separation, loss of a family member, etc.) then her fears about that might be manifesting themselves in the hoarding behavior.  If you suspect that she might have Asperger syndrome, you might want to speak to a specialist for a proper diagnosis and advice on how to prevent it from becoming a problem (children with Asperger syndrome are often highly intelligent and as long as the situation is identified early then some of the problems with social adjustment can be avoided altogether.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might also simply be a mild form of compulsion that can be dealt with using techniques like extinction therapy -- basically, you'd condition your daughter to accept the loss of these &quot;special&quot; objects by working up gradually from the least important of them and eventually exposing her to the (possibly just temporary) loss of things like toys or favorite stuffed animals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without knowing more about the situation, it's hard to tell if this is just a minor issue or is seriously compromising her ability to function (such as freaking out if a candy wrapper is thrown away, or being unwilling to leave the house for fear of losing some of the items) and the route you decide to take greatly depends on the severity, since an approach like gradual conditioning using extinction therapy could be greatly harmful to the psychological well-being of a child with Asperger syndrome, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="869" LastActivityDate="2011-05-13T23:33:54.733" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-14T03:18:39.173" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a good book on the subject I would suggest The Sneaky Chef. Pumpkin puree in French toast. Spinach in meatballs and other things of that nature are discussed. It provides a lot of insight on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="760" LastActivityDate="2011-05-14T03:18:39.173" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-14T03:18:39.173" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-14T10:09:33.007" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son won't eat anything green and leafy. Broccoli, spinach, green beans - you name it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he loves soup - and doesn't mind if the soup is green.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a lot of broccoli, leek and spinach soups, etc and I put spinach in my meatballs and shredded carrots in the spaghetti sauce, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sneaky is good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-14T10:09:33.007" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-14T10:09:33.007" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-14T10:11:19.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've done similar things for certain foods my son claims he is &quot;allergic&quot; to, although he is generally good in his eating habits and eats a wide range of foods.  When its come time to make sure he eats something we want we do similar tasks to you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Add veggies or items to sauces, like pasta sauce&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pizza, hide it in the cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stews or soups that combine items&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make the food fun somehow, like a challenge or dare to eat him at the same time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've had good luck with just getting my son to eat something once, then he usually likes it, some days its getting that first bite in him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-14T10:11:19.140" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-14T10:11:19.140" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1474" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1476" CreationDate="2011-05-14T11:43:12.950" Score="5" ViewCount="10407" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 20 month old daughter is particularly clumsy. She is constantly falling, walking into things, stumbling, and even having a hard time getting up after she falls. I would almost describe her walking as a perpetual state of falling. I have 5 kids, so I know that all kids are different, but she is &lt;em&gt;significantly&lt;/em&gt; clumsier than any of my others were. What are common reasons why a child would have this issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2013-09-13T21:18:20.843" Title="What are general causes of clumsiness in toddlers?" Tags="|toddler|walking|growth|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1475" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-14T12:22:18.750" Score="6" ViewCount="4772" Body="&lt;p&gt;How many growth spurts does a child usually go through, and are there common age ranges when they go through their growth spurts? At what age do children usually stop growing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2017-04-25T02:34:03.053" Title="How many growth spurts does a child usually go through?" Tags="|growth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1474" CreationDate="2011-05-14T19:39:02.040" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Has she always been clumsy? I'm not a doctor, but the first thing that comes to my mind is a potential issue with her balance organs, in the ears. There are methods to test for that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are simple physiotherapeutical manoeuvres to get rid of any disturbing material in all the loops of the ear, which might resolve it if that's the problem in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might also be a virus on the ear. I had that once or twice, it was just like being massively dizzy and seasick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure you've already asked your paediatrician, but ask again, and ask to be referred to a specialist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-14T19:39:02.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1475" CreationDate="2011-05-14T21:25:43.450" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not sure when they'll stop, end of puberty maybe, but I've been told (and it seems to hold up) that they'll hit a growth spurt about every 6-9 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-05-14T21:25:43.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1464" CreationDate="2011-05-15T02:15:49.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask her to tell you the stories of some of them, and listen to the emotional significance she gives them. It probably won't cure her of hoarding but it may make her and you feel better about it. Also, help her organise or figure out a special place to keep them, so they don't go missing so easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="874" LastActivityDate="2011-05-15T02:15:49.467" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1464" CreationDate="2011-05-15T13:00:48.167" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Letting go of things can be difficult, even for adults. Culling possessions is a necessary  part of consumerism. This particular scenario sounds extreme and I agree with Bill's comment that medical advice is required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, this is how I encourage my kids to get rid of things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;foundation of generosity - What can they share? What don't they need anymore that would make someone else happy? We do this by &quot;finding good homes&quot; for things - Clothing and toys area reasonable place to start. Knowing that possessions will give someone else enjoyment can make parting with things that have true emotional significance much easier.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;link &quot;weeding&quot; with goals - We go garage-saling before we buy new things so that we can save money. We had a garage sale and designated for sale a few loved toys that they had outgrown. They negotiated the sale and got to keep the money which contributed to something they wanted to buy. Also, seeing how excited the other children were to play with their toys really made them feel good (this surprised me)!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;set rules for accumulation - If there is no space on the shelf, then they have to get rid of things and make room before they can get more toys/books/clothes/etc. This includes birthdays and Christmas. The toys stay virtually untouched until there is room for them. This has had the effect of them making space before the event in anticipation of their presents. In some cases they have asked grandparents for gift certificates, memberships, and magazine subscriptions instead of toys so that they don't have to part with things. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to this, I would also suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;taking pictures of things and using a photo album to keep memories. The memory is special. People are special. What objets represent is special. Objects are not special. As a guest, I once broke a glass and my host reacted by saying &quot;that was its destiny&quot;. This thought was liberating.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;displaying special things prominently. Make art projects and frame things that are truly memorable so that they can be displayed on the wall. If they don't have a specific purpose (eg. clothes get worn; toys get played with), or wouldn't be displayed, then they find a new home or get recycled (reincarnated into something else that is useful).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;enlisting their assistance with culling your things. Be a role model. Talk about how you feel and how you cope with your sadness at parting with treasures.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-05-16T00:43:31.603" LastActivityDate="2011-05-16T00:43:31.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-15T14:12:35.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A blender/food processor is my best friend in the kitchen!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;soups, chilis, stews: vegetables, beans - the longer it's cooked, the less noticeable they are, mash if necessary&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;milkshakes/smoothies: yogurt and ice (to simulate ice cream), fruit, sometimes cereal (depends on what kind of textures you like)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;muffins, cookies: grains, fibres (wheatgerm, flax), nuts and seeds&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-05-15T14:12:35.033" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-15T14:12:35.033" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1474" CreationDate="2011-05-15T14:50:51.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;With our three we have noticed that every time they get clumsy they have a growth spurt, so much so that for the youngest one a day of clumsiness is enough warning for us to get the next size box of her elder sister's old clothes down from the attic in preparation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As their bodies undergo size changes it takes time for their brains to release accurate proprioception.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As per @Torben's answer there may be a medical reason, but it may be nothing more than normal growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-05-15T14:50:51.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1475" CreationDate="2011-05-15T14:52:39.553" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As per @cabbey's answer it seems to be a bit over six months for the first few years at least. My 10 year old seems to have slowed a bit: maybe 10 month between his last couple. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-05-15T14:52:39.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-15T18:38:46.210" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possible way is to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; sneak vegetables to children. As children get older, they realize that you're trying to sneak things to them, and it becomes a never ending battle. You should introduce vegetables to them repeatedly until they get used to the idea that vegetables are part of their diet. Eat vegetables with them, keep them around as snacks, and make them a regular part of your family diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have your children help you pick vegetables in the grocery store, start a garden and grow your own vegetables, and have them help you cook the meals using the vegetables. Talk to them about the nutrients in vegetables (keep a list posted on the fridge). Every time you use a vegetable, or talk about it with your kids, go to the list and talk to them about all the vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients the vegetables contain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make healthy foods and eating a part of your life, not just something that you feel obligated to make sure your kids are getting and thus try to get creative about how to sneak them into their foods. They should know vegetables are in their food because they're helping you make the food and understand the importance of cooking with and eating vegetables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-05-15T18:38:46.210" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-15T18:38:46.210" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1484" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1486" CreationDate="2011-05-15T19:52:00.990" Score="26" ViewCount="232766" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old has had chickenpox for about 2-3 days, but a close friend has just had a baby and I want to go and help. Is it possible that I am infectious, despite not having the illness? I had it as a child, so (hopefully) can't actually get it myself. Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="878" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:13:16.587" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T19:28:15.440" Title="My child has chickenpox, am I infectious?" Tags="|health|sickness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1443" CreationDate="2011-05-15T19:58:09.570" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The only one reason to circumcise &lt;em&gt;another male&lt;/em&gt; is on qualified medical advice&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that the only reason to circumcise is if a qualified doctor advises it and that the operation should be performed in a hospital/health centre by qualified professionals using proper techniques, sterile tools, anaesthetic and pain-relief medication for after care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The religious or cultural belief of a parent or relative is no grounds for justification, in my opinion. Would you also get your son a tattoo? How about a tongue piercing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="64" LastEditDate="2011-06-13T04:11:11.153" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T04:11:11.153" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1484" CreationDate="2011-05-15T20:10:16.177" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You may be carrying the virus&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may not show any symptoms, but if you've had chicken pox already, you most likely have the virus in your system even without being exposed to the virus recently.  This virus, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varicella_zoster_virus&quot;&gt;varicella-zoster virus&lt;/a&gt;, remains dormant in your system, and can become active later in life, causing &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/shingles/shingles-topic-overview&quot;&gt;shingles&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While shingles can't be transmitted from person to person, an active outbreak of shingles &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; infect someone with chicken pox, if they've never had it, or if they have a weakened immune system (such as a newborn infant).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the transmission methods for chicken pox and shingles are different.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chicken pox can be contagious before symptoms even appear, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2722564/#__sec3title&quot;&gt;spreads through contact with bodily fluids, or from airborne virus spread from someone who is infected and coughing and sneezing&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shingles is spread &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/shingles/about/transmission.html&quot;&gt;through direct contact fluid from the rash blisters, and not through sneezing, coughing, or casual contact&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, just because you've had chicken pox as a child doesn't mean that the only way you could possibly transmit the virus is through direct contact with a shingles rash.  While most people who have had chicken pox in the past have a lifelong immunity to it, rarely &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2722564/#__sec6title&quot;&gt;some people do get chicken pox a second time&lt;/a&gt;.  If you are one of those rare cases who get chicken pox a second time, you could be contagious without showing any symptoms (yet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, &lt;strong&gt;if you know you've been exposed to the chicken pox, even if you've already had it, do not go&lt;/strong&gt;.  It simply is not worth the risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While frustrating that you might have to stay away and can't see the little tiny baby, it'd be terrible if you made them all ill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you call the close friend and tell them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are still worried, consult your family doctor or medical helpline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some information on breast feeding and chicken pox: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/8650.htm&quot;&gt;http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/8650.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="18" LastEditDate="2013-03-22T21:59:24.903" LastActivityDate="2013-03-22T21:59:24.903" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="591" CreationDate="2011-05-16T10:42:35.797" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Right Age to Start the school will be around 2.5 Years Old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First You can enroll your child for pre-kg in the near by school.  After start searching for the good shcool in your locality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right to start searching for the schoold will be when the Child is around 2 Years.  Start colleting information about the school from your neighbours, friends, collegues and relatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make a Plan and Accordingly start searching for a school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more information you can visit the following blog:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://informedwoman.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/right-age-to-start-schooling-for-your-child/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://informedwoman.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/right-age-to-start-schooling-for-your-child/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="887" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-09-02T06:06:28.740" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T06:06:28.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1474" CreationDate="2011-05-16T12:01:22.590" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard tell that part of this is due to how much infants crawl before they walk, and can't quite confirm with my two boys quite yet, so its sort of anecdotal but here are my suspicions.  Part of it is how kids learn balance, those who don't crawl much or walk assisted seem to be more prone to balance issues later on, my older son seems to be like this and I know one other child about the same age who has the same issues.  My son and our friends son never crawled much as kids, they sort of skipped to walking, sometimes they fall - more noticable to me while being their soccer coach.  My younger is a fast crawler and spends time getting up and down, seems to be more in balance; I'll confirm this to myself in a few years since they are way different kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things we did to sort of negate issues that it might be physical, get good fitting clothes, my older son needs looser clothes otherwise they tend to pull and he loses balance.  Good fitting shoes, sometimes my wife buys them a little big, which is fine unless they are the slip ons, I've seen those fly across the soccer field more than once.  Give them some exercises to sort of improve their skill, as their bodies grow they need to fit into them, though we haven't had a growth spurt in awhile so its just been more training.  Kung Fu is part of it for us, and sometimes we do obstacle courses while playing which tends to help out my son.  Also make sure the kids are not tired, when my son is winding down he gets more clumsy, but I think that is just natural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-16T12:01:22.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1475" CreationDate="2011-05-16T17:13:32.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It truly depends on the age of the child in question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Newborns will go through growth spurts every few weeks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;From toddlerhood through early adolescence growth spurts occur every few months (every child is different, but it can range from 3 to 9 months in frequency).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The most noticeable growth occurs at puberty&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Growth spurts will continue to occur in most young adults through their early twenties, however they will be relatively infrequent and irregular.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="889" LastActivityDate="2011-05-16T17:13:32.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1484" CreationDate="2011-05-16T17:22:43.147" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once you've had chicken pox, it never actually leaves your body and can re-emerge years later to cause shingles.  The virus that causes both chicken pox and shingles is related to the herpes virus, and like herpes it lies dormant in your nerve cells between outbreaks:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_zoster&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_zoster&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So simply having it as a child in no way means that you can't be a carrier of the active virus.  Being exposed to the active virus typically won't cause an outbreak in an already-infected adult (because your immune system is quick to respond and will drive the newly acquired active virus into a dormant state) but it does mean that you can be infectious to others even though you show no symptoms yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So regardless of whether you've had chickenpox before or not, &lt;em&gt;if you are recently exposed to the virus from somebody with an active infection&lt;/em&gt;, you should consider yourself contagious and should avoid exposing others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="869" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-04-02T08:38:52.323" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T08:38:52.323" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1493" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1495" CreationDate="2011-05-16T17:33:28.943" Score="8" ViewCount="16307" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two kids, a boy aged 6 and a girl aged 8. They currently eat the usual sugary breakfast cereal every morning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I typically cook an omelette for myself every morning. It made me wonder if I shouldn't just do the same for the kids instead of the cereal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'm thinking eggs and bacon every morning. We'll see if they go for it, but I'm wondering if there's anything I should be concerned about or look out for with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="890" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2016-01-27T20:17:49.153" LastActivityDate="2016-02-01T22:45:46.850" Title="Anything wrong with eggs and bacon every day for my kids' breakfast?" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2011-05-16T17:42:52.290" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, you'll want to be sure that one or both of your children aren't allergic to eggs. Chances are you'd know already, but just in case you aren't sure it might be good to find out first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, eggs and bacon are about as good for your kids as they are for you... in other words, consider using an egg substitute (or mixture of whole eggs and egg whites), and perhaps turkey bacon rather than full-fat pork bacon, to stay on the healthier side of the nutritional spectrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than those two points, I see no reason not to cook a nice hot meal for your kids. It will definitely keep them fuller for longer than those sugar-laden cereals will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="889" LastActivityDate="2011-05-16T17:42:52.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2011-05-16T17:48:36.400" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The sugary breakfast cereal, while less than ideal, is likely fortified with vitamins and possibly contains a good amount of fiber.  The eggs and bacon, on the other hand, are high in protein and have little else in their favor -- and a lot against them.  Both are high in fat and the bacon is likely high in sodium and (depending on how it was produced) has nitrates that are absolutely terrible for anybody, let alone children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I generally feed my own children (four-year-old twin boys) plenty of fresh fruit and vegetarian sausage patties for breakfast, but I'm no health-food zealot -- we do have bacon almost every weekend, though it's a special treat and not a staple of their diet.  We also make it a point to splurge on the more expensive, nitrate-free kind, which isn't a huge deal since we're not eating it every day.  I also think it tastes much better than the regular supermarket bacon, as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="869" LastActivityDate="2011-05-16T17:48:36.400" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1496" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1498" CreationDate="2011-05-16T17:58:49.890" Score="4" ViewCount="2853" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6-year-old boy and an 8-year-old girl. They currently eat sugary cereal for breakfast, but I'm looking for alternatives, particularly from experience.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are healthier alternatives they will actually eat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="890" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-05-07T14:17:50.037" LastActivityDate="2018-05-07T14:17:50.037" Title="What should I feed my kids for breakfast?" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2011-05-16T18:06:07.933" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/weeklyquestion/a/031302_ask.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this page&lt;/a&gt; even adults should not eat more than 4 yolks per week because of high amount of cholesterol.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other breakfast alternatives could be granola, less sugary cereal or hot cereal (oatmeal and farina). You can add fruits and a little bit of sugar to oatmeal to make it tasty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-05-16T18:06:07.933" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1496" CreationDate="2011-05-16T18:13:33.663" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boys (four-year-old twins) eat mostly fresh fruit and berries, which they actually even prefer to candy at times.  Our Easter baskets are still half full because the boys lost interest in the overly-sweet candy and would ask for fruit instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the fruit, they usually also have vegetarian sausage patties and either whole grain toast with a non-hydrogenated vegetable spread or all-fruit spread, or else some whole grain cereal, usually dry or with a small amount of milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've also been giving them drinkable yogurt mixed with milk since they were infants, once in the morning and once in the evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have less healthful meals from time to time, usually lots of bacon (the more expensive nitrate-free kind) and eggs on weekends, muffins that they help to bake at least once a week or so, and very rarely they'll have juice when we're out someplace.  My wife and I are recovering juice addicts so we try to keep it out of the house as much as possible, and the boys mostly just drink their yogurt and water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing for trying to get our kids to eat well has been to eat the same things ourselves as much as possible.  I grew up on sugary cereal and cheap, plentiful bacon and it wasn't until I was much older that I started to feel the difference in my own health when I ate better foods.  My kids already eat much, much better than I ever did, and are (I hope) acquiring tastes for the kinds of foods that will keep them healthy, growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="869" LastActivityDate="2011-05-16T18:13:33.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="805" CreationDate="2011-05-16T19:37:02.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends entirely on the child. I've taught children as young as 6. While children this young have shorter attention spans, they can still gain a lot from music lessons. The most important thing for a child that young is to have a GREAT teacher that can foster their interest and show them that music can be fun and exciting. It's also VERY important that children this young have parents who are a part of their education. Parents need to help motivate their child and help him or her maintain a regular practice schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="893" LastEditorUserId="4027" LastEditDate="2013-03-10T17:41:35.667" LastActivityDate="2013-03-10T17:41:35.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1500" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1502" CreationDate="2011-05-17T04:55:18.177" Score="54" ViewCount="92085" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is probably a classic but here goes. Some time between midnight and three my 9 month old will wake crying. Often he is hungry or has gas and can be fairly easily consoled and falls asleep in our arms once his needs have been met.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, on many occasions, no matter how long we wait or how deeply he appears to be asleep, the instant he &quot;touches down&quot; on his bed (or sometimes a few milliseconds before), he will arch his back and begin to cry. After that there is nothing to do but to pick him up again and he will frequently fall right back asleep in our arms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's up with that? Is it time we take the shards of glass out of his mattress? (just kidding - I'm tired and feeling a little punchy). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he first falls asleep for the night the Devil's orchestra couldn't wake the little sack of potatoes, but once he transitions to REM stage we go through this circus act. Not every night - some nights he will sleep straight through from 8:30 till 6:30. But on the &quot;bad nights&quot; we might be up for a couple hours doing the &quot;putting himdown&quot; song and dance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I want to get some opinions on &quot;how the heck does he wake up instantly the moment he touches his bed?&quot; and &quot;why?&quot; before moving on to what could be done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm answering my own question 4 years after the fact because I had the recent opportunity to think back on this and wanted to capture those thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually things worked out. It was many months, but sleep habits formed and everyone ended up getting their much-needed rest. In the meantime, here's what worked:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Reduce the % change in environment.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I tried to make sure that there was as little change at once, with pauses in-between. This translated to a fairly drawn out process, but anything was better than being up all night. In order to reduce the % change, I had to add a bunch of stuff that could be kept constant. Noise, lighting, temperature, etc. because of course physical contact and orientation were going to change as soon as I put him in the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Noise: create a white noise environment that will not change when you put the child down - be aware that the sides of a crib can alter the frequencies that hit the ear, so be mindful of your sound source and how it sounds above the bed (where you'll be rocking the child) and inside the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Humming: add your own noise (humming or singing) to the mix. This is a good one because it maintains your presence, and (more importantly) can be tapered off gradually (sing quieter and quieter)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Light: be mindful of how any ambient light can be occluded by the sides of the crib - and possibly register on the child's eyelids. And don't forget your own shadow.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Orientation: you need to gradually move the baby into the exact orientation (in your arms) that the child will be on the bed. So figure out how you need to hold the child when being laid on the bed and maneuver him/her into position in your arms. Cribs with deep sides are killer because you have to really bend over and that can mess up your back. Don't let the child roll when you lay them down! Be prepared to stay leaning over the crib with the child still in your arms, but touching the bed for agonizing periods before you remove your hands / arms, which changes body heat&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Body Heat: blankets and swaddling are key here as they insulate the child from y our own body heat and there's less of a temperature drop when you extract yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't leave yet! If by some miracle you've extracted your hands, stay where you are! Keep everything else constant - your humming, the white noise, the light, and your presence.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ninja-like exit. Practice your exit - two steps max if you have creaky floors. I had it down to two steps, a pivot and close the door in under 2 seconds. When you're ready to go for broke and you've followed all the other steps slowly, get out of there in a (soundless) flash.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Repeat, repeat, repeat. Ritual is the key. The more you do everything exactly the same, the more smooth the process will be.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stay calm. Agitation is the worst. You know those nights you REALLY just need the baby to settle down because you have to get some work done, or go out, or just get to sleep? That's the night it will take THE LONGEST! So just be calm. I got to a point where my inner monologue was &quot;hey, enjoy it. You get to be with your baby just the two of you. These are precious moments. Besides, what else am I going to do with my time? This is what I was made for...&quot; I'm not sure I bought my own propaganda all the time, but, 4 years later I can still look back at all that with fondness so I can only conclude that A) it WAS actually precious and special and rare and B) you forget the bad stuff and remember the good - as do your kids - and that's why the human race has not died out.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="711" LastEditorUserId="711" LastEditDate="2015-08-19T10:35:54.323" LastActivityDate="2018-02-18T04:04:26.560" Title="Why does my infant wake crying the instant we put him in his bed?" Tags="|toddler|infant|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2011-05-17T07:20:04.573" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is starting to do this as well and some babies do it more than others.&#xA;They just feel safer (fetus position in your arms), warmer and the parent's breath or balancing movement make your infant sleep very deeply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now putting him/her on the bed suddenly after having enjoyed his/her parents' arms will make the baby wake up for sure. He is now flat on a &quot;harder&quot; surface, a lot cooler and there's no balancing or parent's heart beat. (maybe you got him used to it everyday since he was born)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter cries when I put her in bed, I make sure to let her know that I am still here next to her and make the bed move while talking to her (we have a special bed that we can balance). With a soft reassuring light in the room, I just need to wait for her to calm down and sleep again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleeping time should come with a ritual that you repeat everyday at the same time.&#xA;What worked for me is to first feed her, change clothes, put her in bed and play a little, talk to her/put some music and let her fall asleep quietly. (kiss her good night and say bye-bye) Make sure there's no tv or other noise in the room and turn on a soft light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the last meal of the day we use this kind of pillow:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/I9LsG.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's only slightly inclined and is comfortable for the back but it is not soft like our pillows. (babies need to sleep on a moderately hard surface to develop back and neck muscles) It's especially useful after the meal since it prevents the baby from chocking if he rejects some of his food. We try to remove it when the baby is fully asleep though. (because he has more chance to fall on the side when moving)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is &lt;strong&gt;strongly&lt;/strong&gt; recommended by doctors in France to use this kind of pillow to avoid suffocation by regurgitation after the meal. My daughter used to regurgitate when sleeping and in a flat position it is extremely dangerous. It is also recommended for babies with respiratory problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, don't use the frightening pillows you can find in beofett's link below...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastEditorDisplayName="user896" LastEditDate="2011-05-18T03:58:12.037" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T03:58:12.037" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2011-05-17T07:45:45.217" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;You didn't specify &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; you put him to bed, so here are a few suggestions. I think the infant will feel abandoned if you just put him down without a word, and then simply remove your hands, and then leave the room. I don't imply that you do, but it's a contrast. Have you tried to:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make soothing sounds (&quot;&lt;em&gt;sssshhhhh...&lt;/em&gt;&quot;) before, while, and after you put him down, so he can hear that you're there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Move yourself and your child slowly, carefully, deliberately, lovingly. Not to avoid waking him, but to convey a calm and quiet impression with your moves.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make the transition from &quot;held&quot; over &quot;touched&quot; to &quot;alone&quot; a soft one. When he is lying on the mattress, keep touching him softly. Just a calm, flat hand lying softly on the chest or back. Slide slowly toward the feet, slowly removing the pressure. Avoid touching his hands; that might signal a desire for interaction.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take your time putting him to bed. The entire act could be done in just a few seconds, but you could also stretch it over a whole minute or more. Slow, deliberate, soft.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also learned that sleeping children are very sensitive to their inner gyroscope. Rotations along the lengthwise axis (head to feet) are agreeable, but rotations across that axis (from vertical at your shoulder to horizontal in your arms/on the bed) is not agreeable. So make such rotations slowly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-17T07:45:45.217" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1503" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-17T08:00:07.707" Score="9" ViewCount="16620" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter normally goes down for the night around 7.30pm. After that she sleeps soundly (with a feed at 10pm) until 3-4am, where she'll grizzle a few times but go back to sleep without needing to be taken out of the cot. Then she'll wake up fully between 6am and 7am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few nights ago this changed. She will still go to sleep relatively easily, but will wake up every few hours, including before her 10pm feed, crying like a wounded polar bear. Our usual soothing techniques don't seem to work, and sometimes she cries herself fully awake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Around 4am we snap and take her into our bed to see if that soothes her more, but last night she just lay in bed babbling and playing. It took 90 minutes to get her back to sleep and she still woke up around 6.30am. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could cause this behaviour? I'd suspect teething but then why was she so seemingly happy when she woke up at 4am? Shouldn't she be either tired or still crying from the teething? Why does she behave like this at night but be relatively happy during the day? What can we do to help her sleep more?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's now 9mo, and this behaviour has recently got a lot worse. We started using controlled crying to great success, and she now goes down to sleep at 7.30pm with great ease. However the middle-of-the-night crying is still occuring, except now with more force than ever. She screams extremely loudly and violently, but I'm pretty sure she's not in pain. She has been doing this for almost two weeks and still doesn't have any teeth, so it's probably not teething, and she still does the tell-tale pause in crying that signals she's just looking for our attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Comforting her in the cot does not work, she doesn't stop crying and she rejects her dummy. Picking her up does stop her crying. Taking her into our bed stops her crying, but she doesn't go to sleep, instead play-fighting or crawling around the bed, which keeps us awake as much as the screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been trying to do controlled crying in the same manner as we did for her bedtime, but it's harder because we can't stop her crying while leaving her in the cot. The longest we've left it is two hours of solid crying, but then our tiredness and guilt about the neighbours makes us give in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any more help/support appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="138" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:16:10.690" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T15:53:34.257" Title="Why has my infant suddenly changed her sleep patterns? Is she teething?" Tags="|infant|sleep|teething|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-17T09:30:45.680" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every month, I create a 'Passatta' of just about every vegetable going.  Spinach, toms, Peppers, brocolli, carrots, celery, etc, etc.  I then blend it, and put it through a muslin cloth and have a lovely smooth sauce which I add to all of their food.  We did this form the start really, not because they were picky, but we thought it a win - win situation even when they did start eating veg.  So now, for example, we'll give them grilled fish, with rice, and Brocolli, peppers and carrots and then pour over a very good portion of the sauce.  They've got to really enjoy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it is also probably against the grain, as I have read books outlining it's not good to do, but we have always said to the kids, that what we put on the table, they eat.  That they will stay at the table until it is their bath time if they don't eat it, thus eating into their activity time.  We've also added that if there is something new to them, they have to try it, even if it is just once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They do kick up an awful fuss every now and again (Mango was really tough to get them to eat, as if it is slightly too ripe, it is slimy), but they do operate to the rules and seem to be much better now than they were at any stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We looked at this from the angle, that we'd rather they understood we were going to be rigid on this, that healthy eating is a must do, than worry about forcing them to miss the fun things by making them stay at the table.  Sometimes they make a stand, and we have to respect that, but in the main, it has worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-05-17T09:30:45.680" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-17T09:30:45.680" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1457" CreationDate="2011-05-17T09:38:37.357" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I lost a grandparent and some great uncles in the war, and my kids know this, so it gave a great reference point.  One of their great granddads also won a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distinguished_Flying_Cross_%28United_Kingdom%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Distinguished Flying Cross &amp;#40;military award&amp;#41;&quot;&gt;DFC&lt;/a&gt; in WWII and left us his flying logs from the war, which I read to them (a very good read, in a slightly &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeeves_and_Wooster&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Jeeves and Wooster&lt;/a&gt; type of way).  We've always had a belief of not lying to the kids, within reason, and to answer any questions they have, to the best of our ability.  The war has always been talked about, as has terrorism.  I guess being English, we've always &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_terrorist_incidents_in_Great_Britain&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;grown up with the threat of terrorism&lt;/a&gt;, so find it easier to discuss; it's always a thought of ours.  The kids have seen news reports of cruelty to animals, and find this hard to digest as well, possibly more so than with humans being cruel to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always found that talking openly with the kids about this, has enabled them to grow more aware of morality and the dilemmas they will come across.  It also makes them aware of human frailties and the weaknesses of man.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've talked about death, wars, terrorism, and the one that always gets asked is about cruelty to animals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:06:23.793" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:06:23.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1503" CreationDate="2011-05-17T11:26:26.937" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd simply say it was part of a changing pattern; before she probably didn't realise that she can get you in the room and then into your bed - but now she does.  We found a similar pattern with our eldest and next one down; one we gave into, the other we ignored.  My wife found it really hard to ignore her, wanting to pick up up out of her crib, but we found after about a week or so, it stopped as soon as it started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suspect she was trying it on, if I am being honest.  If it is your first child, I'd venture it was nigh on impossible to ignore; I know I found it really hard.  I used to sing a song to my eldest every night to get her to sleep, she soon realised that it would be smart to hold my fingers whilst I sang, so once I had finished, she would have to be sound asleep before she noticed I had stopped holding her finger; she used to keep me in there for hours sometimes.  I think kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:08:26.803" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:08:26.803" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2011-05-17T11:55:12.213" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had similar issues as above, in addition to having a problem where both our kids had some issues sleeping on their backs.  Part of it may be allergy related, the older one shows this more now, but whenever they got flat on their backs they woke up almost immediately.  We started tilting the crib just slightly, maybe 5 degrees on an incline with the head up, or stacking the mattress so it was the same (which we were more comfortable with) and they stayed asleep fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making sounds as you do anything is good, my wife and I do this anytime we move or touch the kids when they are asleep...especially when bringing them in from the car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-17T11:55:12.213" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1510" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1511" CreationDate="2011-05-17T16:28:24.250" Score="1" ViewCount="2183" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a tea party in the kindergarten group, for 2 to 3 year olds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which cool and unusual snacks (not the common things like candies and pastry) would be a good idea to bring?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="649" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:46:00.210" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T19:46:00.210" Title="What are some good tea party snacks for toddlers?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1510" CreationDate="2011-05-17T16:33:42.860" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this will depend on the region and the number of food allergies that the children have, so you will definitely want to check on that first.  Considering that these are 2-3 year olds you're probably not going to get much in the way of adventurous eating either but here are some things our adventurous 3 year old ate:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Roasted Mushrooms, probably could do small stuffed ones&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mini Quiche&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maki Rolls, the ones we had were a variety of crab leg, avocado or cucumber but nothing spicy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Meringue Mushrooms (a sort of pain to make unless you are used to it but amusing)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cucumber Sandwiches, no tea party is complete without!  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could probably think of a few more but this should get you started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-17T16:33:42.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1510" CreationDate="2011-05-17T17:23:35.223" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dips like hummus seem quite popular with bread sticks and sticks of cucumber, peppers or carrots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;cherry/baby tomatoes &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;mini quiches &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;also spanish tortilla (potatoe omlette) went down very well at the last 2-3 year olds party we had.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure if these are cool or unusual though...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="904" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-05-17T17:44:50.577" LastActivityDate="2011-05-17T17:44:50.577" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1513" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1515" CreationDate="2011-05-17T17:59:48.523" Score="32" ViewCount="14784" Body="&lt;p&gt;Growing up in the US, most kids I knew (myself included) were exposed to Chicken Pox through Chicken-Pox parties where kids were allowed to play with a child who already had the Chicken Pox. Now that they have a vaccine for it, many parents opt for their kids to get the vaccine rather than exposing them through a party. What are the pros and cons of going one route versus the other? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that vaccines are a controversial topic, so to be more specific, my question is based on the idea that I have a choice to get the vaccine, because based on where we live and our school options I do have a choice. I realize different countries, states, schools, organizations, etc. will have different restrictions on what vaccines are mandatory, so I'm more interested in the pros and cons for my child and for me as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:46:59.913" LastActivityDate="2018-02-26T20:55:29.963" Title="What are the pros and cons of a chicken-pox party vs immunization?" Tags="|health|sickness|immunizations|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2011-05-17T18:24:44.587" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, in my experience babies wake up like this because you've forgotten some other need that still needs to be met. I've always gone with the three-item checklist, just in case:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hungry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wet diaper.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually waking up immediately after being put down means you've forgotten one of the first two, rather than the third one, because if he's fallen asleep on you in spite of his teething or gas pain, then he'll be fine sleeping anyway. Especially at this age, the baby knows that putting him down in his crib means that it's time to sleep for the rest of the night. If he's truly tired and all his needs are met, then he'll just think &quot;oh, I'm in bed, time to go to sleep&quot;, but if he wakes up right away it's more like &quot;Aaah! Hey daddy, you forgot something! I can't go to sleep now!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should all that fail, just take him to bed or sleep on the couch with him. Whatever works, works. Sleep is pretty much more important than anything else, both for parent and baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-05-17T18:24:44.587" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2011-05-17T18:31:07.297" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people believe that obtaining the virus naturally provides better levels of immunization than you would get from the vaccine, as evidenced by the requirement for a &lt;a href=&quot;http://children.webmd.com/vaccines/chickenpox-varicella-vaccine?page=2&quot;&gt;second&lt;/a&gt; &quot;booster&quot; shot if you opt for the vaccine, or the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.immunizationinfo.org/vaccines/varicella-chickenpox#effectiveness-of-the-vaccine&quot;&gt;possibility of still catching the disease even after receiving the vaccine&lt;/a&gt; (it is worth noting that infection after immunization is nearly always mild).  Although I have not been able to find conclusive evidence, there are researchers who believe that natural exposure provides higher levels of antibodies.  There is also concern that the vaccine may not provide life-long immunity, which, if true, would result in more adults catching active chicken pox infections, opening them to generally more serious and dangerous symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In past years, a fairly common reason cited for chicken-pox parties is because people are concerned with the possible link between autism and immunization vaccines.  This concern was due to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/01/06/autism.vaccines/index.html&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; which has since been thoroughly discredited, and retracted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the possible benefit of deliberate exposure is speculative, whereas the risks are concrete.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deliberate exposure carries the risk of serious, or even life-threatening, &lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ColdandFluQuestions/story?id=6426686&quot;&gt;complications&lt;/a&gt;.  These complications are much more likely in high-risk patients (pregnant women, immune-compromised, infants), but can effect even health children rarely.  Possible complications include encephalitis, pneumonia, and bacterial infection (including &lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=6772216&amp;amp;page=2&quot;&gt;flesh-eating bacteria&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are admittedly rare scenarios.  However, there is one additional advantage of the vaccine over &quot;natural&quot; immunization: immunization from exposure to the active virus makes the individual susceptible to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=13750&quot;&gt;shingles&lt;/a&gt;.  The vaccine may not, although I found conflicting information on this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;: I updated the part above to indicate conflicting data on whether you can get shingles after receiving the vaccine.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.immunizationinfo.org/issues/exposure-parties/chickenpox-parties&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; is a good reference for the risks of each option, but it mentions that the vaccine can still expose the person to shingles (although cases may be less frequent).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit2:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; I found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mothering.com/health/chickenpox-party-developing-natural-varicella-immunity&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; that includes a fair amount of research and citations in favor of deliberate exposure over vaccines.  However, most of what I saw in there was still what I would call speculative: the vaccine may not be as effective as claimed due to corresponding removal of reporting requirements; &quot;there are too many questions about the adverse effects and efficacy&quot;; &quot;allegedly, [the wild version of the virus] produces much higher levels of antibodies than the vaccine&quot;; questions about the the possible short-term nature of the immunity.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The strongest argument I saw in that article was that, if the reports suggesting that the immunity provided by the vaccine is measured in decades or less, it might result in more cases of adult chicken pox, and symptoms are generally much more severe in adults than in children.  However, the evidence supporting that argument is peppered with terms like &quot;unknown,&quot; &quot;theorized,&quot; and &quot;might.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit3&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;: reworded to incorporate stronger supporting arguments against the vaccine earlier on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-05-18T11:32:20.630" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T11:32:20.630" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1516" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1517" CreationDate="2011-05-17T20:15:38.600" Score="25" ViewCount="4352" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent. My father has recently left and a big void of fatherly like stuff has been left. I am that older son who moved back in and is attempting to help out the family. So naturally, the mini-father part of me is kicking in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sisters, however, are starting to lose maturity. One is in the state of constant anger and one false move means argument and confrontation. The other is now throwing tantrums and adding to the drama in the house; one is young and the other older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in my attempt to help, I try to get the angry sister to think about her words before she says them or to understand that she is not the only one with anger or hostility. However she argues (quite loudly) that she's not angry and that the only problem is me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I can't discount that, I find it very unlikely that I can fix the said problem in me, if I can't identify it well.  While I remind the drama sister, that she needs to be mature and that attempting to manipulate someone's emotions for your benefit will only turn them away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in essence: What can I do? I fear I don't have many options. I'd imagine that my mother would need to step up but this experience has been emotionally crippling thus far. Any advice here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="782" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-06T09:43:06.777" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T23:15:31.010" Title="How can an older brother fill the parenting void of an absent father?" Tags="|single-parent|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1516" CreationDate="2011-05-17T21:34:13.807" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anger is part of the grieving process, and everyone works through it in their own way and at their own pace.  Specifically, the &quot;suck it up&quot; approach might work for you, but girls usually need someone to vent to who will listen, sympathize, not judge, and not try to tell them how to &quot;fix it&quot; until they get it all out.  They are probably acting with more maturity than you think, but are letting loose at home where they feel safe so they won't lose it at school or elsewhere.  The faster you let them get it all out, the faster they will recover.  Trying to stop the anger in its tracks only prolongs it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't try to replace your dad, just be a brother.  Don't tell your sisters what to do, show them and be there for them.  Good parenting requires years of practice and building a large foundation of authority and trust, usually starting when it's much easier because they're too small to run away and too young to talk back.  However, you are already well qualified to be a brother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-17T21:34:13.807" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1510" CreationDate="2011-05-17T21:39:22.203" Score="1" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dried fruits, like dried apricots, prunes, dried apples etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;non allergenic fruits like apples, bananas etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;juices&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="411" LastActivityDate="2011-05-17T21:39:22.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="106" CreationDate="2011-05-18T00:07:52.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like this quote from Mark Twain:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School isn't so much for learning as it is for proving that you've learned, so you can have a piece of paper that says you've learned what you're supposed to. Your son can learn just as much if not more at home and in nature than he can in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if by &quot;this school doesn't fit him&quot; you mean that he's bored in class or that what he's already learned is beyond what's he's receiving at school, then this is not the answer. If you mean he hates his teacher and gets into trouble all the time, well that's another problem (namely, his attitude, which needs correcting). If you mean that he receives daily beatings from his peers, that too is another problem and not necessarily related to the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life is about overcoming adversity, rather than finding the path of least resistance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T00:07:52.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2011-05-18T06:03:06.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd absolutely opt for exposing my child to chicken pox directly rather than getting him the vaccine if we knew anyone who had it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chicken pox doesn't &lt;em&gt;cause&lt;/em&gt; any of the other infections warned against in Boeffet's answer.  (Hint: bacterial infections are caused by bacteria, not viruses.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm all for immunizing my child against things that can kill or cripple him (polio, for instance) but for something like chicken pox, which is merely an inconvenience, I'd rather go with the method that's been working for centuries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, the chicken pox vaccine has not been around long enough for anyone to be certain of its long-term effectiveness, especially when one comes into contact with a strain of chicken pox different from that which one was vaccinated for.  It &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be just as effective, but we don't &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; that it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are pros and cons to either solution.  However, Big Pharma insisting I need a new product to protect against something that generations of my family have healed from on their own (perhaps with the aid of some Tylenol and lotion) isn't enough for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T06:03:06.313" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1521" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1527" CreationDate="2011-05-18T06:37:09.917" Score="14" ViewCount="3643" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is less than 6 years old, and last week we discovered that he has grown a little bit of pubic hair. This seems way too soon for this to happen. My older son, who is 9 years old, only now started growing a bit of pubic hair (and this also seems a bit early).&#xA;Is this normal? Should we be concerned? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="104" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:49:38.150" LastActivityDate="2018-04-02T17:34:51.273" Title="Are signs of early puberty in a primary-school aged child a cause for concern?" Tags="|health|development|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1516" CreationDate="2011-05-18T09:40:51.880" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;How old are you and your sisters?  What was your relationship with them like before you moved back in?  How is your mom handling all this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some general truths:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Unless the age gap is big enough that your sisters saw you as an authority figure before your father left, they won't now.  &lt;em&gt;His&lt;/em&gt; actions won't change how they see &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your sisters were just betrayed by their father.  They are going to be angry, slow to trust, etc.  It's natural.  They don't want to be hurt again.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your sisters haven't figured out what to think about or how to handle all the changes going on in their lives, and are acting out.  Young people (and sometimes adults) often do this.  Really look at their behavior, and figure out if it's stupid drama, or self-destructive.  If the former, then make a point not to reward the behavior (by getting into a screaming match, etc.) and focus on helping them move on with their lives.  If the latter, get help.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In general, people can be stronger in the face of something like this if they feel there is something they can &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; about it.  That's probably why you may be holding up better than the rest of the family -- you moved home to help, you &lt;em&gt;did something&lt;/em&gt;.  Figure out how you can help your family members do something (something that they will be successful at and that will make a difference in some way) so that they can start to feel empowered again, less out of control.  If you keep your eyes open, the right opportunity will present itself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your sisters are very young, they're probably going to process this stuff all over again each time they reach a new level of maturity.  So, don't freak back if things calm down and then in a couple of years it all seems like a fresh wound.  What we think about these things at 4 and 14 is going to be different, so our brains have to take a stab at it again sometimes.  Just be there if they want to talk to you, and understand that it gets easier as time goes on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What works to get somebody back on track after something like this varies incredibly from person to person.  So, watch and listen.  People tend to give off some subtle clues as to what they need, even if they don't know it themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Another pretty common reaction in these situations is self-blame, and it's one that can eat away at somebody before they realize they are feeling it.  Keep an eye out for it and do whatever you can to reassure your sisters and your mom that they didn't cause this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever happens, it is good that your sisters and mother have someone around who cares.  Don't try too hard to &quot;fix things&quot; -- as someone already pointed out, that's not what everybody responds to.  Just being a calm, constant, uncomplicated, unconditionally loving presence in their lives can mean a ton.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, feel free to hang around here.  I can't promise we'll have answers to everything, but you are certainly welcome here and we'll try when we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T09:40:51.880" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-18T09:40:51.880" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1523" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-18T09:56:05.237" Score="9" ViewCount="3579" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is something I have always thought about, but never asked.  We have put our kids into kindergarten/nursery even though my wife doesn't work.  We decided that the benefits for our children outweighed the negatives.  I believe that it makes the kids more sociable, teaches them to share, and to operate responsibly socially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The negatives are there, of course; I love the fact my kids benefitted from having mum at home all the time (nursery was always part time), but they always seemed ill for 6 months, which meant I had to suffer more and more ridiculous illnesses, costs are obviously high now (up to £1200 pounds per month) and there's a lot of anxiety to start with on both sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are literally dropping our thirsd child any day now, and I want to ask myself it is really is the right thing to do.  It feels quite mean to do it, with mum home all the time, but I am sure there are great benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whats your take on it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T11:48:47.720" LastActivityDate="2012-10-17T19:40:35.813" Title="What are the (dis)advantages of putting a child in a nursery or pre-school even when one parent is at home?" Tags="|pre-schooler|working-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1523" CreationDate="2011-05-18T10:49:39.153" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit: This answer was written before I realized that the OP is in the UK. It is very US-centric, citing problems (such as poor nutrition) caused by the way the US regulates and funds day-care facilities.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Pros:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Day care frees up time that a parent who would normally be charged with child care can use to work or tend to other responsibilities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Day care can give a child who is not used to being around other children the chance to learn to make friends before they go to school for the first time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Cons:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; rare for a day care to do more than &quot;kid warehousing&quot;, so unless you've found an exceptional one, your children may be missing out on the chance to learn pre-school skills that they need.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The idea of children socializing (i.e. teaching correct social behavior to) other children is &lt;em&gt;absurd&lt;/em&gt;.  Adults (such as parents) should be teaching children correct behavior.  Otherwise, they won't learn what you want them to, they'll learn only what makes sense to a toddler as clueless as they are.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Day care is expensive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Day care typically exposes your children to a bunch of kids from families that don't share your social values, at an age where your children are too young to understand the difference, or to communicate to caregivers that they are being hurt or bullied.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Day care nutrition is usually very poor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Other:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Every day care is different.  In an exceptionally good day care, some or all of the cons above may not apply.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids not in day care can just as easily learn to make friends by playing with other kids at a playground, going to a playgroup, or getting along with cousins at family events.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Conclusion:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A really good day care can be a workable solution for kids whose parents need to work, kids who are very timid and have trouble making friends, etc.  However, the popular idea that somehow day care workers are magically better at instilling good manners (or worse -- that children should socialize one another) than good parents is simply false.  Kids at home with an attentive parent get much more attention, more opportunities to learn, and more individualized treatment than children in day care generally do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-05-18T11:56:21.183" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T11:56:21.183" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1523" CreationDate="2011-05-18T13:02:56.287" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We put our son in day care for one year, basically the one before Kindergarten, more for him to socialize with some other kids - get more structured play time and make some friends so when he started kindergarten it was an easier transition.  So we looked for a pre-school that had kids going to the same school as my son, and found one that was pretty good.  They did in class learning, play time, snack time (though its more what we sent not from the school) and they did the ABC's and early numbers - basically skills they knew our kindergarten would expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure about Mage's experience but sure in some areas of the US there are guidelines that are lacking, like many US regulations that go for a common denominator but you can find exceptional pre-schools if you look.  Find ones where the parents are involved, in my town education brings out the parents who are very involved in PTO and class communities.  From pre-school we got more of an introduction to the town, we were new, as well as got play dates and learned about the teachers in the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In talking with other parents I knew most pre-schools required specific snacks for the day, or lunches if it was full day, but had limits on what to bring due to food allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife got more time to herself, to do things around the house, or met other parents so it was a positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US day care is not cheap, though you can find affordable options, but you get what you pay for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will get illnesses, kids first exposures seem to be in schools and pre-schools, expect that more as the kids get older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say if you can afford it, and your wife needs more time to focus on younger kids, it might be worthwhile, its also a good way to get your children more used to groups, group play and learning how to interact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-05-18T13:42:44.977" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T13:42:44.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2011-05-18T13:41:52.243" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, chicken pox parties, eh?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pro:&lt;/strong&gt; You get to stay home from work for a week to care for a sick child. Oh, and you and your kid get to go to a party. And no scary needles are involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Con:&lt;/strong&gt; Your child will feel like shit and itch like crazy for a week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T13:41:52.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1521" CreationDate="2011-05-18T15:47:47.367" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found this entry at Michigan's Health System with lots of valuable information and links to more information: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/puberty.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/puberty.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having read this article on Precocious Puberty, if it were my son I would take him to the doctor. There is some concern that Precocious Puberty, puberty earlier than 9 years on in boys, can be caused by an underlying disease. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems a check up is in order to be safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="388" LastEditDate="2018-04-02T17:34:51.273" LastActivityDate="2018-04-02T17:34:51.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="203" CreationDate="2011-05-18T16:13:44.490" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest reading at least the first chapter of &quot;Have Space Suit, Will Travel&quot; by Robert A. Heinlein (the rest of the book is a bit entertaining, if dated, but the first chapter is pure gold). The suggestions there are more for high school students than grammar school students, but the philosophy is the same: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Public school is crap. Especially for bright students. Find other things they can learn to occupy their time, preferably subjects they want to learn. Tell him to read the whole textbook instead of sticking to the parts the curriculum says to stick to, for starters. Then start feeding him classics like Edgar Rice Borroughs (trust me, he's old enough for these - I was at  7), Johan David Wyss, Arthur Conan Doyle, and Robert Louis Stevenson. This high adventure stuff has 9 year old boy written all over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, he needs to know not to be a snob about being smarter than the other kids or learning faster than the school wants him to. That just leads to trouble. If all this is truly because he's really bored in class, he can crack open War and Peace or a high school math textbook. The teacher won't bother him at &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, your kid isn't as bright as you think he is, but I doubt that (parents usually know for certain about that before the kid turns 5). I for one, was never disruptive in class. I just felt held back by what the curriculum offered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T16:13:44.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2011-05-18T16:35:34.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We kept our first son from watching TV as much as possible until he was about two. After that it was mostly DVDs and whatever content we could find on the internet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All bets were off for the second kid though, because there's not much for a 4 year old to do when it's cold and raining outside all winter. And of course, he wanted nothing more than to watch Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder, and Ni Hao Kai Lan (too bad all his Chinese friends speak Cantonese).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So of course your mileage may vary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coincidentally, the 14-month old seems little affected by it. If anything, having a big brother means that he's better coordinated, plays more in the real world, and runs faster. Kids engage other kids to play in ways that adults never can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T16:35:34.143" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-05-18T18:35:06.910" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When the pregnancy test comes back positive?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, on the other hand, you've been actively and successfully avoiding parenthood until now, you're ready to have children when (in order of importance):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You're in a stable relationship that doesn't involve copious and regular screaming and throwing of things. Social and sexual compatibility are likewise extremely important.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You're not taking any drugs for any mental disorder, especially but not exclusively depression. Being bipolar is likewise &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; not good when having kids. Post-partum depression can affect both mom and dad, so be aware of this problem with both parents.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You're not living in a 600 square foot open-concept apartment (no, really. Bad idea). Likewise, you're not moving out of one within weeks of your due date (figured this one out the hard way). Move, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; get pregnant. You won't miss that level of stress.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can afford both daycare &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; groceries. Go ahead and find out how much that costs now. Don't worry, I'll wait. Shocking, isn't it?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You don't mind losing half your friends and 3/4 of your social life. This one is optional (I mean, you can still mind losing them), but will happen anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you qualify on all five points, then you're almost ready to be thrown to the shark tank and may even be &lt;em&gt;likely&lt;/em&gt; to survive the first three years or so. After that, it's almost easy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People have also been known to survive when they don't qualify for two or more items, &lt;strong&gt;as long as they aren't both of the first two&lt;/strong&gt;. Those sometimes (possibly even often) end in murder-suicide and newspaper stories that include the question &quot;How could anyone kill a little baby?&quot; Divorce before children is a much better option, believe me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T18:35:06.910" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1510" CreationDate="2011-05-18T23:22:33.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Random suggestions follow :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chocolate crispie / cornflake cakes (home made; involve kids - but perhaps they fall into your Candie category?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mini sausage rolls&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cherry/baby tomatoes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breadsticks &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gingerbread men - again could be home made, but perhaps too sweet?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Scones / buns - again could be home made.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rice cakes/crackers (we have a brand called Snack-a-Jack which seems popular with my kids)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Apple/Orange/Banana slices&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="894" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T23:22:33.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2011-05-18T23:24:07.963" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;When is it &lt;em&gt;safe&lt;/em&gt;? Relationships and dating are never safe. Even at 25 it's like running headlong into a minefield of extreme emotion and high passion. That's what makes it great, after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that you've taken the bubble-wrap off, it's time for an opinion from a lefty. Coincidentally, science and statistics have shown that these methods actually work better at delaying pregnancy and sexual initiation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, both genders need to know about sex. No, of course they're not going to be having sex right now! (what? You're asking this question when they're 16? Oh shit, too late!) They should have already gotten the biology-of-reproduction and the &quot;why adults like it&quot; bits years before they start dating. By now, they should have all that down pat. If they haven't gotten it from you by the time they're 11 or 12, then they've surely learned something on the playground, and now it's an uphill battle because they don't want to listen to practically anything you say anymore. Unless you're really lucky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both genders also need access to birth control, or in the case of girls, be on birth control, &quot;just in case&quot;. Think of it like making your 4 year old wear her bike helmet, even though she still has training wheels on and she's still not riding faster than she can walk. Good habits are easier to make than bad habits are to break. And besides, people don't always plan things a month in advance. Or plan things at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For girls, these are prerequisites:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does she know what coercion is? She'll probably get this a lot as a teenager, and not just from boyfriends or potential boyfriends, but peers as well. She needs to recognize it for what it is, and bolt when she sees it. It means that person is an asshole that she wants nothing to do with.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Jealousy and anger are not signs he loves you. They're signs that he's a psychopath. There are other red flags that she needs to run from and talk to you about. Generally speaking, if something makes her feel uncomfortable, she should go with that feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She can't make him love her. She can't make him feel any feelings (including but not limited to rage, jealousy, guilt, or any of the other abusers like to blame other people for). They're his feelings. Also, having sex with him won't work either.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She can always come to you with hurt feelings or questions. You promise not to be an asshole about it, even if it's about something you find abhorrent. &lt;em&gt;Keep&lt;/em&gt; that promise.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't let strangers handle your drinks, and prosecute the offenders. It's not because she's a slut, it's because he's a predator. Back her up on any criminal proceedings.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For boys:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does he know what coercion is? It's when he's not open about what he wants, but instead tries to be sneaky about it. Openness and honesty will always win, even if it loses him some girlfriends. It's &lt;em&gt;better&lt;/em&gt; this way, because if she doesn't want what he doesn't want, the relationship will always fail. Even if it's a taste in music.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Speaking of which, rejection isn't bad either. It means she's not into him, and he probably won't be into her for the same reasons. Embrace rejection. It's the only path to happiness. Dating is a process of elimination.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He can't make her love him. See above. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't think this can be taught, but don't &lt;em&gt;be&lt;/em&gt; the jealous psychopath, or the stalker. Seek professional help if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you get to let them loose and catch them when they fail miserably. That's generally your job once they're teenagers anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coincidentally, abstinence before marriage is a recipe for marital disaster that starts young and ends early (hopefully before kids, but often and even usually, not). For god's sake, find out what they're &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; like before you get married. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-05-18T23:24:07.963" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1533" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1537" CreationDate="2011-05-19T00:23:20.050" Score="42" ViewCount="44740" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think all babies look alike, even when they are not identical.  &lt;em&gt;I need to come up with a strategy over the next few months.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="460" LastActivityDate="2020-02-29T15:32:46.150" Title="How do I make sure I don't mix up identical twin newborns?" Tags="|newborn|twins|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1533" CreationDate="2011-05-19T01:20:03.977" Score="45" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I faced this very issue with our twin boys, now four years old.  When we first brought them home from the hospital, we kept the little wristbands on them for the first few weeks, until they started to outgrow them.  Then, we painted their big toe a different color so that we had a foolproof way of keeping track -- the nail polish wouldn't come off easily, and even when it did start to come off, it would generally leave traces of the color for a while.  After a few months we managed to identify tiny differences (small moles, different patterns to the way their hair swirled, etc.) that we could use, and once we were confident that the differences were there to stay, we stopped painting their nails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I studied philosophy in college and my wife is a linguist, so besides being two people from professions that should never be permitted to raise identical twins (physicists being another group that should also be so banned, since their textbooks are similarly filled with &quot;thought experiments&quot; that would more aptly be characterized as &quot;twin torture&quot;) we were also quite obsessed with the existential implications of how names work, and what happens if they get mixed up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do go with the nail polish approach I'd definitely make sure to get a brand that's non-toxic and to not over-do it because little growing nails do need to breathe -- you might want to switch up which nail you paint each time.  Also -- and this is very, very important -- you need to reach an agreement with your partner that neither of you will ever, ever, EVER &quot;play a joke&quot; on the other and switch them on purpose. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="869" LastActivityDate="2011-05-19T01:20:03.977" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1533" CreationDate="2011-05-19T06:13:56.247" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even identical twins aren't exact copies of each other. There ARE differences!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for these differences, however small, and remember that Bob is the one with the narrower toenail, and Ben was born with longer hair. Alice has a dimple on the left butt cheek, Denise has one on the right shoulder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all else fails, you can still mark the twins as @Bill explains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-19T06:13:56.247" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-05-19T06:44:18.343" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't know.  You'll never know.  No matter how much you prepare yourself, no matter what books you've read, no matter how much you've talked about, no matter how much you've prepared, nothing will ever be the same again.  Everything changes, everything.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can borrow some for a week, or more, do so.  A day is nothing, 3 days is getting there, but you'll only ever really know how much work they are, if you get some for at least a week.  It is, without doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to my life, but you will really never know if you are ready, if you haven't seen how it is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So either offer to look after your brothers/sisters/best friends young kids for a fortnight or so, or just have them.  You'll never look back you'll also quickly forget what life was like before them.  You will work so hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have controlled 9 digit budgets, and never felt the pressure I do, to make sure my kids are raised properly; nothing will keep me awake more at night wondering if I have made the right decision for them; nothing dents my emotions more than knowing I have been too hard on them, and nothing, nothing in the world will ever mess with your emotions more.  I cried once, in front of my eldest's teacher when she praised her very, very highly as a person; it really does mess with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-22T02:29:21.057" LastActivityDate="2012-11-22T02:29:21.057" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2011-05-19T08:52:57.617" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no too young to swim age.  Babies can often swim better than toddlers because they still have the automatic reflex that closes their throat under water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have already received some great advice- except one thing.  It is never, ever a good idea to put floaties/water wings on children.  If I wasn't a capitalist I would be in favor of banning them altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They teach them to be upright in the water.  This becomes their learned position of safety and what that means when they don't have them on- they sink and drown.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids don't understand how water works if they aren't allowed to learn the truth of it.  Water wings teach them false things about water and children drown because of it.  They get used to &quot;swimming&quot; in water that is way too deep for their ability and they get used to being upright.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a recipe for disaster.  Spread the word!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;swimsafely.weebly.com&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="921" LastActivityDate="2011-05-19T08:52:57.617" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1541" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1543" CreationDate="2011-05-19T17:11:43.670" Score="20" ViewCount="29368" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with 7 year old kid who refuses to do a chore or task? He's not listening and ignores my request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="923" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T21:07:19.790" LastActivityDate="2019-03-29T22:31:38.397" Title="How do I deal with a child that refuses to do a chore or task?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="928" CreationDate="2011-05-19T17:35:12.107" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before I was a parent, I was an avid gamer. My oldest son is now 4, and I find his lack of interest and skill in playing video games actually rather a lot disturbing. I try to engage him in a few simple, age-appropriate two-player cooperative games (Like Bubble Bobble. Remember that? No, of course you don't. Little Big Planet is a more modern example), but after a short while he loses interest, and part of that seems to be a lack of hand-eye coordination. He's more or less starting to learn to use the PS2's joysticks, but can only manage one of &quot;jump&quot; or &quot;shoot&quot; at any given moment. Even so, this is typically how we spend Sunday mornings after breakfast. It's time spent together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which coincidentally, can be exactly one way of &quot;dealing&quot; with this &quot;problem&quot;; Gaming time &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be family time and time with friends where socialization is taught, as well as cooperation and teamwork.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, as others have asked &quot;so what exactly is the real problem here?&quot; If the answer is &quot;he gets none of his homework or chores done&quot;, then the real problem is motivation. You've already found the means to motivate him, now it's just a matter of using that motivation to get work done. &lt;em&gt;This&lt;/em&gt; should be the line of reasoning every time you find yourself saying &quot;All he ever cares about is X&quot;. Would you be upset if he was spending &quot;too much&quot; time doing math problems? Or if he was constantly obsessed with the bond market? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Video games might seem useless to you, but my obsession with gaming and computers turned into a career as a Systems Administrator for an ISP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-05-19T17:35:12.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-19T17:37:16.800" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have two options, positive reinforcement or consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should probably try positive reinforcement and adding basic things as &quot;prizes&quot; for doing the chore. You might think that for doing the task the child shouldn't get a prize, and that's fine; but a price could be something simple like a sticker, a star in the chart, even a hug. This will depend on the kid. However, if you make him part of the decision of what the prize is, the kid will more likely get the chore done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With consequences you can then instead establish consequences like if you don't get X done you cannot play video games. Note however that this could be turned into positive reinforcement. If you do X, then you can play 30 minutes of video games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could argue that both options are the same, but it in part depends on what the child knows today as prizes and standard &quot;rights&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use both with our three kids, but what to use depends on the chore, the kid, and the thing that the kid is immediately most interested in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="860" LastActivityDate="2011-05-19T17:37:16.800" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-19T19:51:36.323" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I too have found that my example and especially doing the chore with them greatly helps.  My 8 year old son loves helping me wash the cars because we usually turn it into a competition.  Mom is the judge of the cleanest car and for some reason, he always seems to win.  Also, during the summer, you can turn it into a water war.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at 7, most chores (beyond the simple) require you to let them know they are doing it to your expectations, so you're probably close by anyway making sure they don't put tire cleaner on the paint job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="533" LastActivityDate="2011-05-19T19:51:36.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2011-05-19T22:19:00.770" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are obviously different schools on this.  I suggest you just put them in their bed and let them work it out.  This has been suggested to me by my elders, and despite some obvious hesitation that comes with this &quot;brutal&quot; approach, it has worked fine the few times I've tried it, as a last resort, initially.  It might even take an hour initially, but the time will quickly decrease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the baby is quiet and happy in your arms, you have fed it well during the day, you have re-changed it, and checked the bed, then it's obviously well and healthy, and it's a matter of getting used to the bed or the room.  By taking it out of the bed &quot;on demand&quot;, you are not teaching it the right lesson, and you are not making either of your lives better.  The rule I've been told is, once the baby is in the bed, don't take it out unless to change it or the bed is on fire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="587" LastActivityDate="2011-05-19T22:19:00.770" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1546" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-19T22:19:33.990" Score="2" ViewCount="584" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age get a child to stop using pullups at night? And how do you encourage a child and give them the confidence to try sleeping without one? I know one OK way is telling them it's Ok to wet the bed. Any other techniques?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="923" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-05-21T20:38:17.857" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T20:38:17.857" Title="At what age get a child to stop using pullups at night? [merged]" Tags="|behavior|sleep|bedroom|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="199" CreationDate="2011-05-20T00:07:20.937" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're dealing with pretty regular bedwetting right now with our four-year-old sons, who we switched to underwear all at once (daytime and nighttime together) around a year and a half ago.  Our pediatrician assured us that the best thing is to just let them wet the bed, and that pull-ups at night actually delay the process of them learning to get up to use the bathroom at night.  The same goes for waking them up in the middle of the night for a &quot;bathroom break&quot; (something we considered) and anything else that might act as a crutch to simply learning to recognize their own body cues and to deal with them appropriately on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'd say that if your child is already out of diapers completely during the day, then your best bet is to just stop using pull-ups at night at the same time.  You may end up dealing with a lot of late-night changes of pajamas and/or bed sheets, but your child will likely learn fastest that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to try that can help your child avoid wetting the bed (without interfering with their learning to recognize body cues) is to limit the amount of liquid near bedtime -- though do be sure they're drinking enough during the day, since adequate liquid intake is still very important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a lot of talks with our boys about bedwetting (just to gently remind them that they should try to wake up to go in the middle of the night, and to explain why they can't have one last drink of water immediately before going to sleep -- &lt;strong&gt;NOT&lt;/strong&gt; to shame them or blame them for wetting the bed) and the biggest obstacle we're facing currently is convincing them that when they pee in their sleep, that they really are peeing in real life.  They're convinced that somehow their beds are just getting wet on their own, since (as they put it) when they pee in their sleep &quot;that's just pretend pee, daddy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="869" LastActivityDate="2011-05-20T00:07:20.937" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-20T07:01:33.970" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use a simple method of rewarding them helping us with extra pocket money, removing the &lt;em&gt;extra&lt;/em&gt; pocket money if they don't &lt;em&gt;do what is the minimum expected of them (make beds, keep bedroom tidy)&lt;/em&gt;, and also restricting times for certain activities, like using the computer, TV, DSi etc, which is already limited in use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, what I'd encourage is to find out what they really, really, really like doing, and use that as the carrot and the stick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The combination works well, but the carrot has to be as enticing as much as the stick isn't, for want of a better analogy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="581" LastEditDate="2011-05-23T06:37:00.400" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T06:37:00.400" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="380" CreationDate="2011-05-20T07:32:24.037" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the best thing to do is get your child thinking and talking about social situations. Presenting your child with hypothetical stories, role-playing exercises, and discussing real stories of people you know and people in the news are a great way to introduce social situations to a child (or adult). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, discussions about ethical or moral issues with hypothetical characters or real people are a great way to get kids thinking. I would try to be as &lt;a href=&quot;https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Socratic_method&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Socratic&lt;/a&gt; as possible when doing this. If you just tell them the &quot;right answer&quot; from your own perspective you might be teaching them to blindly copy what you think, or perhaps worse yet, take the complete opposite view. If you focus on asking good leading questions you can really get them thinking about the issue at hand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples of situations, people, or hypotheticals that you can discuss:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;3-5 years old&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The dog that didn't want to share toys with the other dogs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The boy who hit is mom&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;5-8 years old&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A boy who was kidnapped.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A girl who hit her brother all the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The boy who &quot;cried wolf&quot;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A girl to whom nobody ever passed the ball&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;8-18 years old&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A kid who was pressured to smoke or do drugs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A child who is bullied&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A child who is a bully&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A child who is left out constantly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A homeless man who is on the streets asking for money&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try to spend our time at dinner or during long car rides discussing different issues or hypotheticals. I find it is best not to discuss people who are actually part of the discussion. This often leads to unanticipated hard feelings, defensiveness, or teasing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our children seem to respond fine to this type of discussion, but some kids don't. One friend came up with a creative way to having these discussions with his kids. He would play role-playing games (old-fashion RPGs like D&amp;amp;D, not video games) with his sons and introduce different social situations to which his children's characters had to respond. The RPGs also taught his kids to collaborate on a shared goal rather than competing against each other (as @torbengb described).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="96" LastEditDate="2011-05-23T02:48:36.477" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T02:48:36.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1550" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1555" CreationDate="2011-05-20T07:52:17.823" Score="36" ViewCount="7476" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me preface the question by saying that I'm not asking this question in order to endorse or promote teenage sex. Even if my child wants to wait until he is married to have sex, as a parent, I still want to educate him on how condoms work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So some pertinent questions are: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do you bring up the topic? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What do you demonstrate on? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What storage precautions should you explain?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What things should you mention about efficacy with regards to pregnancy and STDs?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What else should you tell your child about condoms?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-06T19:09:04.687" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T19:09:04.687" Title="What should I teach my teenager about condoms?" Tags="|teen|sex-education|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-20T08:23:40.237" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make it fun. Have them do the chore with you and make it enjoyable. Spend enough quality time with them building a loving and trusting relationship so that they want to be with you and want to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think positive reinforcement and reward is much more important than any kind of negative consequences for not helping with a chore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="930" LastActivityDate="2011-05-20T08:23:40.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1550" CreationDate="2011-05-20T11:56:31.167" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I had a Sexual Education class in school many decades ago, with much giggling, our teacher showed us with a non-lubracted condom and a carrot.  I'm sure any similarly sized fruit, and or vegetable, will be adequate.  Basically just do it, our teacher told us this was how it went on and then it was on to the next topic, ignoring all the giggling going on with a high school class.  I doubt you'll get much better with a teen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It depends on what you hope to gain from this, most of your questions are pretty obvious.  You use a condom to prevent STD's and pregnancy, not sure how you explain storage or what you mean by that.  If its necessary to bring it up, do it in a matter that your child will accept, you know your child best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to check your local library for resources, they might have something about talking about Sex to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-20T11:56:31.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-20T12:39:48.820" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;In contrast with the other answers, I advocate &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; rewarding children for doing chores, particularly if they started off by ignoring or refusing to do them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offering children rewards for completing chores and basic tasks teaches them that they should &lt;A HREF=&quot;http://www.happychild.com.au/blogs/yvettevignando/2010/09/08/parents-should-not-pay-children-for-chores-my-opinionated-opinion&quot;&gt;expect&lt;/a&gt; rewards, and that tasks or chores that don't result in a rewards are not worth doing.  It leads to a sense of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dunwoodypsychologists.com/Articles/raising_responsible_versus_entitled_children.htm&quot;&gt;entitlement&lt;/a&gt;, which leads to frustration and disappointment later in life when they learn that that is not how the world really works.  Yes, they will get &quot;rewarded&quot; for doing their job later in life with pay, but more and more people seem to believe that getting paid for their job only requires them to do the minimum required by their job description, which is not a healthy attitude in a competitive marketplace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that he's currently defying you by ignoring or refusing requests to do chores only makes the risks worse.  Offering rewards now is essentially bribing him to behave to minimum expectations.  You are sending him a message that not only is it acceptable to refuse to do what he is told, it is also a valid tactic to refuse and then hold out until a suitable reward is offered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I suggest restricting privileges until your son starts doing his chores.  You don't need to state them as punishments.  Instead, simply refuse to agree to any new activity or toy that he asks for, citing his lack of chores as the reason.  In the short-term, this will be much more difficult, as he will probably offer strong (and loud) resistance, but long-term I believe it presents a much healthier (and more realistic) understanding of the way responsibility works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-15T12:15:26.110" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T12:15:26.110" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1550" CreationDate="2011-05-20T17:05:37.990" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've typically seen condom use demonstrated on (unpeeled) bananas, but I think @MichaelF's suggestion of a carrot is a better one.  I'd even consider purchasing a (&quot;regular&quot; size) realistic-looking dildo, since what you lose in giggle factor you more than make up for with realism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for storage precautions, I'd point out that carrying a condom in a wallet (which is common) is actually a terrible idea (due to body heat and pressure from being squeezed) and that keeping them around for very long at all is something to avoid.  Most Planned Parenthood offices and many health clinics and doctor's offices will provide free condoms (an extremely useful bit of advice for cash-strapped teens who might otherwise be hesitant to purchase condoms -- and especially to re-purchase &quot;fresh&quot; ones) so it's very easy to always have one available that's in good condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When discussing the effectiveness of condoms in preventing pregnancy and STD transmission, I think explaining the mechanisms of failure are the best bet.  Too often teens are cited statistics regarding the percentage failure rates, without really being told &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; the condoms fail -- usually by breaking.  This ties in with proper storage and frequent replacement of old condoms, since latex degrades over time and so newer condoms are less likely to break.  When discussing STD transmission there's the breakage issue to address, but also it's important to realize that for many diseases it's skin-to-skin contact that's the issue, and that's why it's important to roll down the condom all the way, make sure to use it from the start, etc.  I think going into these details is far better than simply stating &quot;condoms reduce the chance of pregnancy or acquiring an STD by such-and-such percent&quot; and will make a more lasting impression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure there is any &quot;best way&quot; to introduce the topic, though personally I'd shy away from tying it to any sort of life event.  Having a conversation with your son about condom use just as he starts a relationship with a new girlfriend (or boyfriend, as the case may be) just has too much of a &quot;cringe factor&quot; in my opinion, since it's too personal and might feel like you're being too specific.  I think it would be better to just have a random, spontaneous &quot;sex ed hour&quot; some weekend for no reason at all, so there's no reason for your son to feel like you're making assumptions about his activities or prying into his personal life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="869" LastActivityDate="2011-05-20T17:05:37.990" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1550" CreationDate="2011-05-20T17:31:59.003" Score="38" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I went the carrot/condom route with my daughter when she was 12, along with discussing the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Condoms are only effective when used properly.  This means, no baby oil for lube, no vaseline or anything petroleum - as it will rot the rubber and cause it to break.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Insist that a condom is used!  If he's not willing to see to your safety and health - it's obvious he doesn't care about you, only about getting laid.  Dump him and find someone else that's worth your time!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The condom goes ON before ANYTHING goes IN. If it comes off for any reason, a NEW one must be used. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;IF it breaks - and you find out AFTER you're done, don't be afraid OR ashamed to get an emergency contraceptive.  If you go to one pharmacy and they won't dispense it, go to another - but remember the first and never shop there again.  If there isn't anyone who will dispense Plan B to you, call me and I will come with you and get it - even if I have to drag a lawyer and a baseball bat with me.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're in a committed relationship, think about getting on the pill (but know that it must be taken regularly at the same time of day, and you can't skip a pill), but only after you've both been tested for STD's.  There are worse things out there than pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-20T17:31:59.003" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1557" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-20T19:12:57.000" Score="16" ViewCount="4469" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nearly 6 year-old son is going to first grade next year. He's already reading quite fluently and writing. He does basic math (without writing).  He has great sense of humor, and he loves to make his friends laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid that my child will disturb the class when he starts first grade already reading and writing&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is that he'll be very bored when starting school, and then will start making jokes and disturbing the class. Then he might be tagged by the teacher as he will disturb her in her teaching. On the one hand, I think this is a real possibility, and on the other hand, I don't want to take any action or say anything that might make this reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions about how to move forward?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="104" LastEditorUserId="41037" LastEditDate="2021-05-01T22:06:31.810" LastActivityDate="2023-09-08T17:48:36.557" Title="What do I do about the fact that my child can already read, write and do math before entering first grade?" Tags="|school|primary-schooler|gifted|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1557" CreationDate="2011-05-20T19:23:48.433" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably the most important thing to do is notify the teacher as soon as possible what your child should already be capable of that's in excess of the baseline requirements.  That way they might be able to make accommodations to keep your child from disrupting the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what other localities or countries are like, but kids in my area of the US should learn how to read and write in Kindergarten, so all students should be reading and writing by the time they get to 1st grade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-05-20T19:23:48.433" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1557" CreationDate="2011-05-20T20:57:43.767" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child is going to be attending public school in the US, many of them have &quot;gifted and talented&quot; (or similarly named) programs that can provide an outlet for advanced students to express themselves outside the normal classroom setting.  In some schools this is an entirely separate classroom for the entire day (which I personally wouldn't like; I think it's important to be around a broad range of peers for better socialization) and in some it's a part-time program where the children are removed from the classroom for a portion of the day to work separately on more self-directed activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it may not be something you can try in first grade, I'd also highly recommend getting your son involved in some kind of tutoring/mentoring program -- as a tutor or mentor.  Helping out other students will not only help your child develop better social skills, but will provide a challenge (at little to no cost to you or the school) and is actually the best way to really gain a deeper understanding of the material.  Plus -- best of all -- it helps out the other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="869" LastActivityDate="2011-05-20T20:57:43.767" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1557" CreationDate="2011-05-20T21:36:42.937" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would be more concerned about your son's potential being wasted by being bored than about how the teacher might feel if he acts up out of boredom.  Fortunately, either way, the solution is the same: explore options that would allow him to be challenged or at least entertained without being disruptive.  Possibilities include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to the teacher and let him or her know what your son can handle already, and leave it to the teacher to find a way to keep him sufficiently stimulated and challenged.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Suggest to the teacher that your son not be required to pay attention as long as he actually knows the material they're covering, as long as he can entertain himself by reading a book quietly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find out whether the school offers gifted and talented (as it is called in the U.S.) classes, or if it makes sense for him to skip a grade.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explore whether there are any alternate schools that might be able to accomplish 1-3 better.  (For example, in the U.S. one can often find Montessori schools that generally accommodate people of above-average skill pretty well.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2011-05-20T21:36:42.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-21T03:28:14.020" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;@torbengb requested that I elaborate my comment into a proper answer, so here goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htm&quot;&gt;Punished by Rewards&lt;/a&gt; by &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfie_Kohn&quot;&gt;Alfie Kohn&lt;/a&gt;, it's an extremely bad idea to try to get people to do things by bribing them with rewards / praise. The book explains it better than I can, but essentially, conditioning a child (or anyone, really) to do a thing in order to get another thing has several extremely negative consequences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The work is always of lower quality; the doing of the thing simply becomes a means to an end whereby one can attain the proverbial 'carrot', and people will do as little as possible to get the 'carrot'.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It conditions children to always expect something in return, regardless of the task - and it reinforces the behavior of 'doing as little as possible to get by'. They learn to seek external gratification, rather than to be able to appreciate the sense of accomplishment from a job well done.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The focus is always removed from the task at hand, and is rather placed on the 'reward' - and the more this happens, the more that people are apt to totally lose interest in whatever they're doing. Disinterest turns work into drudgery; drudgery takes its toll, and sometimes the task doesn't get completed; the 'carrot' isn't obtained, the worker gives up, and on the cycle continues. I've been there myself, on more than one occasion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, this might be a lot to take in at once - the whole concept of 'doing things for the sake of doing them' might be a little much for your seven-year-old to grasp, especially if you've operated with sticks and carrots thus far. I encourage you to read the book for yourself, and to see what you can take away from it for your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember this - bribes are ALWAYS a quick fix. They never last. Having worked with youth as much as I have, I've seen this happen a million times. You might get them to obey you once or twice, but in order to keep them under your control the carrot's got to get bigger - and way out of proportion to the task at hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="549" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T03:28:14.020" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1550" CreationDate="2011-05-21T06:09:38.390" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;One item everyone seems to forget to cover, is how to take one OFF without making a huge mess. And to wash hands before applying a new one after removing a used one for those back to back sessions we all wish we were able to have back when we had the stamina but not the wisdom to make them worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T06:09:38.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-21T06:20:04.920" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife would likely disagree with this, as I've used it on her a few times, but for fear of being labeled a socialist, I think the right answer here is to explain that as part of the family they need to pull their own weight and help keep the house running if they want to enjoy the rewards of being part of it. (Our son isn't really old enough to do much chores yet, but he's starting to help with things like cleaning his toys up.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That could be as simple as taking out the kitchen trash after dinner... you enjoyed the food with us, but didn't help prepare it? Fine you can help clean up after it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T06:20:04.920" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1557" CreationDate="2011-05-21T12:32:41.833" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's my advice, and it's coming directly from personal experience: Do nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I was that kid.&lt;/strong&gt; I was there. I was slamming down books like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Phantom_Tollbooth&quot;&gt;The Phantom Toolbooth&lt;/a&gt; in my first grade year, I was better at math than anyone else, and I was pretty well-adjusted. The teacher had myself and another student enlisted in a support role as an aide during the afternoons, and things went pretty well, in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But then, my mother decided that I wasn't being challenged enough, so she took matters into my own hands, and decided to skip me ahead a year. All of a sudden, I was a year younger than everyone else - developmentally and socially - and it made a pretty big difference. My classmates were always bigger and faster at me at playground games, and I was almost &lt;i&gt;always&lt;/i&gt; picked last. I was a year behind socially, too - they were all into sports, while I was still bringing stuffed animals to school. They realized that I was an easy target, and I got ridiculed constantly; they resented me because I could keep up with them in the work, even though I was younger than they were - &quot;You're not &lt;i&gt;supposed&lt;/i&gt; to be in this grade!&quot; was the worst. After that year, I got put in the same classes as most of those kids for years after (let's hear it for being in a small town!), and I never really lived it down. As a result of having very few friends, I spent most of my highschool career glued to a computer screen, rather than going out and doing whatever fun things that higschool kids get to do. It took me a few years (and a very patient girlfriend, who is now my fiancee) to properly bring me into the 'real world' and to teach me how to properly interact with people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I understand that my situation is a bit extreme (and I'm definitely not trying to show off my sob story!), and there were some other factors at play (&lt;i&gt;bad parenting, for one&lt;/i&gt;), but the fact is that children develop &lt;i&gt;really really fast&lt;/i&gt; at that age - to the point where depriving them from just a year's worth of social development could have some really detrimental effects. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like you've got a pretty bright kid, and that he's probably headed for college after high school. Remember that if you put your son ahead a year, then you'll probably be shipping him off to college a year earlier than otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also remember that if he sails through elementary and middle school, that it's very likely that he'll still be pretty enthusiastic about school in general when he hits high school, and that he'll have the chance to be in AP classes and get some college credit while he's there. Making it through elementary any faster really won't do much for him, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, with that being said, I'd encourage you just to encourage him to do his best, and to leave him where he is and let him develop at the same pace as his peers. If he breezes through the work in first grade, then he'll probably breeze through it just as much in second or third grade, if you were to put him ahead - by and large, the work isn't that much more difficult - so I'd have to say that the behavior issues you've mentioned would be something completely separate. If he doesn't feel 'challenged', maybe you could see if there are some after-school activities he could be part of. Maybe send him over to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stackoverflow.com/&quot; title=&quot;Stack Overflow&quot;&gt;Stack Overflow&lt;/a&gt; and let us turn him into a programmer. :D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="549" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T12:32:41.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1557" CreationDate="2011-05-21T16:25:13.900" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before school starts, have a sit down meeting with your child's prospective teacher. Bring an example of what he's already capable of for reading and writing, and explain your concerns both about him, and his possible impact on the class should he be bored to tears.  See if you can't come to an agreement about finding ways to challenge him that won't disrupt the class (higher level books or other assignments, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was 'that kid' too.  I was reading when I was 2, which freaked out my mother.  In the 2nd grade I had the reading and comprehension of a 10th grader.  My classmates were reading &quot;Fun with Dick and Jane&quot; and I was reading &quot;The Catcher in the Rye&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 3rd grade teacher wouldn't let me have any 'advanced' reading assignments, and I was bored to death everyday in school, and I acted out often.  My parents bought me books which were small enough I could bring with me and hide behind whatever I was supposed to be reading in school.  That got me through my 3rd grade year.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T16:25:13.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-21T16:41:06.050" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A house is not just a mom and a dad. The kid are a part of it. Make it clear that just like mom and dad going out to work (even when they don't feel like it) to support the household - each kid has his/her own responsibility that's not an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T16:41:06.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-21T19:00:51.363" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I made chores part of my daughter's allowance.  Dusting, general picking up around the house, and helping in yardwork for a set amount of money weekly.  If she did not do her chores, she didn't get her allowance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rule was half of her allowance was hers to spend as she liked, the other half went into her college fund.  It helped her learn that all those things she thought were 'cool' and 'fun' were also EXPENSIVE.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She learned to evaluate what she 'needed' vs what she 'wanted'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T19:00:51.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="883" CreationDate="2011-05-21T19:09:56.940" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We flew from DK to the US the first time when my son was 8 months.  The flight TO the US was uneventful - a little complaining during takeoff/landing but that was it.  He was awake and happy and we had toys and munchies there for him when he needed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The flight FROM the US to DK was awful.  He would NOT sleep on the flight back.  The minute there was a noise in the cabin, he was awake.  We spent 8 hours walking up and down the aisles with him to stop him from screaming (to the disgust of many passengers - but what else can you do?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We went back this past Christmas, and things went MUCH smoother. He was bigger, so could color and talk and listen to the music, play with the tv in the headrest, etc. He was also more amenable to sleeping in the seat on the way back (YAY!) and we had no issues with him at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used a cheap umbrella stroller as well through the airports and if we were touring, brought his sockmonkey and blanket and he was good to go!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-21T19:09:56.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1570" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1591" CreationDate="2011-05-21T21:15:46.270" Score="21" ViewCount="1254" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I go to a store with my four year old son he wants to buy a lot of stuff he sees. Also he constantly claims that he needs a new toy. How do I explain to him that we can't buy everything we want?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T19:50:51.767" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T12:01:35.700" Title="How do we teach a pre-schooler about money and shopping?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|money|shopping|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1570" CreationDate="2011-05-22T10:19:21.313" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Time to buy a money box/'piggy bank'&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bought our son a Thomas the Tank Engine money box and we often randomly give him the small change from local shopping trips. He enjoys putting the coins into his money box and pretending to count the money occassionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, when we go shopping and he latches onto something he likes the look of, we simply ask &quot;okay, you can buy it if you want. Did you bring your money?&quot;. Of course, he didn't, so he then realises he cannot buy it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This only works if we stand firm on this position - if you 'loan' them the money even just once, you're back to where you started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 2 years older now and so can count the money and read the prices in the shops. We got him a really small purse into which he can put some of his pennies so that he does have some money with him. This enabled him to purchase some small items like stickers and an old toy from a charity shop. He takes great care of the old toy, since he bought it with 'his money'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="18" LastEditDate="2013-12-05T12:01:35.700" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T12:01:35.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-22T10:48:08.777" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Time to teach them about Team work&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As children get older, they're more able to help out around the house and do little tasks themselves. When they do this, it means that Mum and Dad will have more time and energy to spend with the children and doing fun things together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to your child that if you have to tidy their room for them, cook, clean up, lay the table, pick up their toys, etc, then you have less time to play with them, read to them, go out and about, etc. If they could do some of these tasks themselves, then we will all have more time for the nice things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the tasks they should be able to do themselves are: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting their toys away in the cupboard/toy chest&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting their books away&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting their dirty laundry in the laundry basket&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Helping hang out the laundry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Vacuuming at least two rooms of the house once a week&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Laying the table for dinner, or wiping it clean after dinner&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly disagree with offering incentives to do or punishments for not doing things that  they should do anyway - &lt;em&gt;it's not that you want them to do these tasks, they need to do them regardless&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a fascinating insight into motivational strategies, listen to Dan Pink's TED Talk on motivational strategies. Yes, it is more aimed at adults in the workplace, but the 'team work' aspect is the key:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Originial: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrkrvAUbU9Y&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrkrvAUbU9Y&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With animations: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-05-22T10:48:08.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1510" CreationDate="2011-05-22T16:09:36.590" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;These are some of the items I've seen that children really go for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bananitos&lt;/strong&gt;, if you can get them. These are teeny tiny bananas, the size of an adults' thumb. Very cute and kids love them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Crazy Jelly/Jello&lt;/strong&gt;. You make several different types of jelly and then scoop chunks out of, say, the strawberry, raspberry and blackcurrant and put them into an almost-set apple jelly, along with bits of strawberry, apple, blueberries or pears.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Marzipan Characters&lt;/strong&gt;. Buy some marzipan for cooking and some natural food colouring. Roll the marzipan into balls of different sizes and make Lego-style people and animals. Needs some imagination and an allergy warning on the marzipan (made from almond paste)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Scotch Pancakes&lt;/strong&gt;. These are small, but thick pancakes that usually have raisins too. They're best warmed, but kids love them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-05-22T16:09:36.590" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-23T03:53:57.430" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're going to hide veggies in your food, why not get the kids in on it? You could tell your kids about how you want to make daddy more healthy but you don't want him to notice, so you're going to try to sneak veggies into your food. Now that your kids are &quot;in on&quot; the scheme:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They won't make a fuss about vegetables, even if they do notice them, because that would give away the secret&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They'll realize that veggies aren't as bad as they thought (and hopefully will keep what they learned in mind after they leave home)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect you don't need to be too serious about it. They'll eventually realize that daddy is in on it too, but then you can just transition it into some sort of inside-joke family thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm in college right now, and I still think it's fun to sneak weird things into my roommate's food (black bean brownies, spinach in smoothies), and I use it in normal food too (extra-extra-veggie tomato sauce).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="947" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T03:53:57.430" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-23T03:53:57.430" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2011-05-23T07:34:48.887" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/127/how-can-i-get-my-12-month-baby-to-sleep-in-her-bed&quot;&gt;this problem too for a long while&lt;/a&gt;, and our daughter just plainly refused to sleep in her bed. If she was deeply asleep and we were really careful we could get her to sleep there, but she would scream the instant she woke up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This more or less stopped by itself at the same time as we stopped the breastfeeding. Now our daughter even will stretch towards the bed while falling asleep as an indication that it's time to not hold her anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So although I can't really answer the &quot;why&quot;, it might be worth a try to just share your bed with the baby for a couple of months, and try again later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T05:02:40.870" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1578" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-23T07:42:02.393" Score="5" ViewCount="275" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can one teach a 5 year old that acetone, white spirit and other household solvents are not to be played with if he somehow manages to get a hold of them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One idea is to go to the yard far enough from any flammable structures, pour some amount onto ground (where no plants grow of course) so that a pool about two feet in diameter forms and set that on fire so that a kid could see that violent flame and think twice whether he wants it anywhere in a house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that a good idea? What are other options?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="817" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T21:01:21.837" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T21:01:21.837" Title="Is starting a small fire a good way to the explain dangers of flammability?" Tags="|safety|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1578" CreationDate="2011-05-23T08:11:07.950" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I think that is a very bad idea,&lt;/strong&gt; because it is likely to have the opposite effect -- cool rather than scary -- so in effect you'd be teaching your kid pyrotechnics. After all, there's a reason why Hollywood flicks are full of explosions. I'm sure a 5yo doesn't understand whether it's sensible to play with fire indoors. Do you really want him to play with fire even if he only does so outside?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why would you want to demonstrate flammability in particular? Solvents are dangerous, but not exclusively because they're flammable. To make them burn, you need several items; solvents &lt;em&gt;and fire.&lt;/em&gt; But they can be dangerous on their own, e.g. by ingestion, and I'm sure you're not going to demonstrate that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you told your child not to eat the detergent from the washing machine? You could use the same approach with any other dangerous material. Matches, detergents, any number of household and garden materials and tools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think demonstrations are very useful for things you want to encourage. But for discouragement, demonstrations can be impractical and counterproductive -- and potentially very dangerous on their own!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really want to demonstrate flammability, &lt;strong&gt;ask your local fire department&lt;/strong&gt; when they do such demonstrations. That will help educate your child that only trained professionals should handle these things and that &lt;em&gt;not even daddy&lt;/em&gt; dares it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T08:11:07.950" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1578" CreationDate="2011-05-23T08:43:34.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a bad idea, to be honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For starters, it shows him HOW to burn things - which he might think is 'cool', and secondly many solvents and other chemicals are persistent pollutants - something you don't really want to be dumping on your yard anywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Torbengb; see if your local fire dept is having any demonstrations, or is willing to demonstrate for your son the dangers of fire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T08:43:34.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1050" CreationDate="2011-05-23T08:48:45.730" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to make sure that your kids know that the divorce is NOT their fault, and you are not divorcing your wife because of THEM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter started acting out when my first husband and I split up; because she was sure that it had been HER fault because she wasn't a 'good enough' daughter.  She was very angry at herself and started to act out because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explained to her that my problems with her father were just that - between HIM and ME, and that if we weren't happy together, there was no way we could all be happy together. I repeatedly told her how much I loved her, how much her father loved her, and that that wasn't going to change now that Mom &amp;amp; Dad don't live together anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's 19 now (soon to be 20, OY!) and appreciates the fact that I've never badmouthed her father in any way while she was growing up, and that her father did the same. She never felt used as a bargaining chip or as a weapon against the other spouse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T08:48:45.730" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1578" CreationDate="2011-05-23T09:07:23.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think anything to demonstrate how to put fires out isn't the way to go.  I think seeing the effects of fire is a better way, look up forest fires, what they do to communities, animals, and livelihoods.  I'd really be looking at the negatives of fire as, it's been said, fire is, like or loathe it, very cool with kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't advocate showing death, but showing destruction should be a nagative enough image to deter.  I think once that has set in, is the time to introduce safety.  I've been part of a forest fire in Australia and it was terrifying.  When I was young, i set fire to one of our outhouses and it was incredible, as was the time I set fire to some tyres.  seeing the destruction of fire, set me on a slightly different path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T09:07:23.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1584" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-23T11:04:06.030" Score="16" ViewCount="1791" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are good methods of explaining to my four-year-old son why &quot;color&quot; is not how he should spell &quot;colour&quot;, even though it is spelt that way in many of the books he's reading?  (Also &quot;realize&quot;, &quot;favorite&quot;, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, although less importantly, that he should pronounce &quot;z&quot; as &quot;zed&quot; (&quot;dance&quot;, &quot;tomato&quot;, etc), but the characters on TV that say &quot;zee&quot; are right too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He understands that there are multiple words for the same thing in other languages (e.g. counting in Māori or Spanish), but US English is so close to English that it's confusing that there are these minor differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that US English is &quot;wrong&quot;, but at school he will be expected to spell in NZ English, and there using US spelling will be &quot;wrong&quot; in that it will be corrected.  When he is older, he'll be able to learn why regional variants of languages exist, but for someone just learning to read/spell, that's a bit complicated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In maths, we first learn that the square root of 4 is 2, and that is the &quot;correct&quot; answer in school - once we understand more we learn that it's ±2.  For now, what matters is knowing that if he is asked to spell &quot;colour&quot; that the answer that is expected has a &quot;u&quot;; learning how to write in US English can be done when he's older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like suggestions as to know how I can explain what's expected, while acknowledging that the variants are (for the author) correct, without overwhelming his four-year-old brain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="84" LastEditorUserId="84" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T23:51:00.313" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T22:35:03.507" Title="How do I explain regional differences in language?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-05-23T11:34:30.573" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you should start by changing your stance that one way is &quot;right&quot; and the other &quot;wrong&quot;. Even if the schools operate by this expectation, it is difficult to explain to a 4-year-old (as you no doubt have witnessed, else you wouldn't be asking the question). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, simply explain that the US spellings and pronunciations are considered &quot;unusual&quot; in your area, and that &quot;people who live far away&quot; sometimes do things a little different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's  nothing wrong with an American who spells &quot;color&quot; as &quot;colour&quot;.  At worst, it might seem a trifle eccentric.  It certainly isn't &quot;wrong&quot;.  Any teacher who would mark such a thing &quot;wrong&quot; is more concerned with teaching a lesson about following instructions rather than proper spelling, and you may or may not agree with teaching children that doing what is expected of them is more important than understanding &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; it is expected of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're having trouble explaining these concepts to a 4 year old, then you might simply have to wait until he's a bit older.  In the meantime, you can just make an effort to expose him to more examples of the English variations, so that the US versions appear to be more of a minority.  When he is actually in school, all of the examples presented will be the English variations, which should make it easier for him to decide which to use.  If there is still any confusion, you can simply guide him to spell or pronounce it the way the teachers do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am still not clear from the conflicting comments if children in NZ are expected to be writing words like &quot;colour&quot; by the time they are 4, but it seems that they probably are not.  You do have time for your son to develop a bit more, and in as little as a year it may be much easier for him to grasp the concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-05-23T13:44:47.437" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T13:44:47.437" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-05-23T11:46:29.880" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can use it as an introduction to World Cultures, English while spoken in places like America, Britain, Australia and in Canada all have different spellings and pronunciations.  Even in a individual countries you get regional dialects that make words sound different, that might even be a starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wrong and right may not be the best way to phrase it, but maybe expectations are.  In the book your son is reading, because its from a different place, has spellings that are different but your son will still be expected to spell the words in the way he is taught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Language is a wonderful and changing thing, although lots of these complexities might be too much for a 4 year old but it doesn't hurt to lay the groundwork for the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T11:46:29.880" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1578" CreationDate="2011-05-23T11:52:57.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd agree with the above but rather than chastise the burning part, which I think is cool but not really the issue, what you want is to instruct your child to NOT touch or play with dangerous things.  Fire is not really going to make the point you want, I would think, I know it didn't when I was young and all it really did was give me an urge to burn things.  Which got knocked out of me after my Mom found me burning stuff near our garage, she was not happy to say the least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two things I'd say you should do here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep items like this out of reach of your kids and locked away&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give them a good lecture, so they would understand, about why these things should be left alone&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son knows certain things are not to be touched, or played with, anything that is a cleaner or under the locked sink cabinet is not to be touched without an adult around.  Anything that could be REALLY dangerous I keep locked up in the basement, high up on a shelf, or locked in the garage.  I also don't draw attention to them, that usually ends up engaging interest on a kid's part.  Most of these products, in the US, have labels on them noting poison and danger through colored icons, in the grocery store I noted to my son the labels so he knows not to touch things with those labels.  I did it there to keep attention away from anything we had in the house, and sometimes I ask him what the icons mean to see if he remembers.  Which he does so its been good so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T11:52:57.230" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-05-23T12:27:01.407" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At my grammar school you were allowed to spell either way: US English or British English - you just had to choose one and stick with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to explain that there exists different written dialects of English much like there are different accents. A Scotsman speaking English sounds much different from a Cockney speaking English (if they actually do speak English, that is. I'm still not convinced.) But neither of them are pronouncing anything 'wrong' per se, just in their own dialect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he uses the US spelling, gently correct him with the comment, &quot;Remember, we spell 'X' differently than they do.  Their spelling isn't WRONG, it's just not how WE spell it here.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he gets familiar with both forms of spelling, it's just a bonus IMO.  That way there isn't any agonising over colors or neighbourhoods or how to check your cheque.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T12:27:01.407" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-05-23T14:58:20.610" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I'd do the following.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find some great examples of some very funny English accents. You could take some from Australia, the American South, Africa, India, but the locations should be where they speak English natively.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain that people speak slightly differently in different locations, and they also write words somewhat differently, even if the word is pronounced the same way. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T14:58:20.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1550" CreationDate="2011-05-23T16:09:04.123" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;When teaching the practical use of condoms I suggest one takes the opportunity to teach the life skill of deciding in advance as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe these points will be helpful to cover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use of condoms, if used properly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;prevents pregnancies; pregnancy is life altering, take a moment to imagine your life pregnant (or with a pregnant girlfriend) and with a child after.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;prevents diseases (STDs); STDs can have a permanent impact on your health. From HPV to AIDS symptoms vary but some diseases stay with you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can increase pleasure. Acknowledge that different people report different effects on pleasure.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;may reduce sensitivity. Acknowledge that using a condom feels different.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nakedtruth.idaho.gov/put-on-a-condom.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How to Put on a Condom&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Refer to links and if the links break in the future search for: condom maker instructions on use and  trusted health sources for condom use.&#xA;Demonstrate in person on a proxy. Let your child demonstrate it back to you on a proxy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Deciding in Advance:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For important life events it's effective to decide ahead of time what you will do in a given situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a part of the condom talk, consider putting a few scenarios out there and ask your child what they will do in that situation. I have listed 3 scenarios and possible answers; try to get your child to think through the issues and come up with their own answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Opportunity for sex, but no condom...Go get a condom or skip the sex. Oral and anal sex both transmit disease.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Had some alcohol, and have a condom...Avoid situations where you might have sex, alcohol impairs decision making...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Condom breaks during sex...Stop having sex, put on a new condom, follow up with Plan B if appropriate, tell parents if needed...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing the answers to these types of questions in advance will greatly increase that chances of following through on the best actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to squeamishness / giggle factor. Acknowledge it and then ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest revisiting this whole process again, say in a month. This will give time for natural questions to come up, for misinformation from friends to infiltrate your initial message, and will allow the kind of repetition that is the key to learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Resources:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teen Sexual Health: &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to use a condom: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.trojancondoms.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?ArticleId=10&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.trojancondoms.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?ArticleId=10&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to Use Condoms Correctly: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thebody.com/content/art12636.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.thebody.com/content/art12636.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;CDC Sexual Health Index: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/index.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/index.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't be Condumb: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nakedtruth.idaho.gov/use-a-condom.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nakedtruth.idaho.gov/use-a-condom.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-07-26T13:32:22.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1570" CreationDate="2011-05-23T16:24:18.473" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest a simple habit. Never buy toys on impulse; no matter how difficult the merchandizers make it for us. (Toys in the check out lane, really?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each time explain that the child can think about getting the toy and give reasons on the following day. Let them know that if you approve of the reasons, on the next trip to the store you will get the toy if they remind you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of the above hinging on their ability to hold the desire for the toy over time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember to demonstrate this in your own behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is primarily for combating impulse buys. Budgeting and scarcity will necessarily be handled differently. But if you are not truly in a financial bind, avoid making your child feel an imagined/false financial insecurity. They don't need that added stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T16:24:18.473" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-05-23T17:23:06.060" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would have thought simplest would be to say it is wrong in NZ English or British English. Treat it as a different language that has most words the same as proper English (by proper I mean for your region) - as I would certainly hope the school would mark answers as incorrect if they use spelling from a different language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is American English, and thus wrong for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T17:23:06.060" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-05-23T18:23:08.590" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before you read a book, put a pin on a world map for where the author is from and/or the setting of the story. Then explain to your child that different people from different places speak and write differently. Without distracting their reading too much, mention phrases/idioms, animals, spelling, architecture, etc. that is unique to that author or story setting. You may have to scan the book beforehand to be prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T18:23:08.590" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1578" CreationDate="2011-05-23T18:29:42.340" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've brought me back to my boyhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, we were nerds. When computers got boring we we ripped off most of the heavy metals from our school lab and did potentially blinding things with them, and even gained shrapnel a few times which we explained as playing accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had dumb parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to teach &quot;I need dad or mom to use this&quot; is to show them what can happen, and show them that you are happy to encourage their &quot;what happens if I drop this whole block of sodium in water&quot; curiosity as long as they involve you. You can find that on line, or they will :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, if the kid is bright, they'll do it anyway. Given your question, I'm quite sure the kid is bright.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T18:29:42.340" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1596" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1599" CreationDate="2011-05-23T21:42:01.967" Score="9" ViewCount="139955" Body="&lt;p&gt;She used to be fairly intent and placated by feeding (she's 6 months now).  About two weeks ago she started squirming around quite a bit while drinking from her bottle. She arches her back and moves all over the place.  She's still happy and hungry, I just can't figure out why the change from calm to a total wiggle-worm would have taken place.&#xA;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="92" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-24T06:56:25.800" LastActivityDate="2019-12-20T19:56:01.847" Title="Why does my child squirm so much while bottle feeding?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1596" CreationDate="2011-05-23T21:55:14.210" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably because her vision is improved significantly in the last few months; she sees things much clearer now, and everything is FASCINATING to her - and thus VERY distracting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-23T21:55:14.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1598" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1600" CreationDate="2011-05-24T00:11:43.177" Score="14" ViewCount="10577" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is currently pumping just enough milk to keep up with &quot;demand&quot;.  Since she'll be going to back to work and won't be able to pump as often as she does now, her milk supply will likely run out before the baby stops needing it.  We're considering freezing some of the breast milk now and supplementing whatever is frozen by formula, so that we can feed the combination of formula/breast milk for a much longer period of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a good idea?  Or is it better for the baby's immune system to feed all the breast milk  now and later on be 100% on formula?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="286" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:58:16.297" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:09:38.327" Title="Should we freeze some breastmilk for later use even if there's no excess supply?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1596" CreationDate="2011-05-24T00:15:12.460" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's what's great about parenting.  As soon as you start getting it down, it changes.  It's a stage every child goes through.  As they gain more control over their bodies, they assert it.  Try some different holds until you find one that works.  I've found two different ones useful.  One is to cradle the baby in my left arm, but hold the baby's right arm under my left armpit, so he's turned a little more toward me and is restrained from turning.  The other way is to sit the baby on your lap facing out.  It looks weird, but works really well for some kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T00:15:12.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1598" CreationDate="2011-05-24T01:05:54.613" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know about better or not, but I can say from experience that after several months of nothing but the real thing, my son would NEVER drink a bottle of pure formula, adding just an ounce of breast milk to 12 ounces of formula and he would devour it. So if you're going to HAVE to switch to formula, keeping a little bit around to make it palatable sure seems like a good idea. That said, freezing only lasts so long, and once you thaw it you only have a few days to use it... so don't freeze in huge bottles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T01:05:54.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-05-24T02:11:16.947" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really don't think that cloth save that much more than disposable when you factor in other things.  For example, the only day care around that allowed me to do cloth charged $40 more a week to take my kid.  It also wasn't a state registered day care.  Your milage may vary there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, looking at it from the viewpoint of a working mom- every night doing laundry?  Why?  Isn't my time worth more than that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, as I taught myself to look for bargains, I did find considerable cost savings by couponing, by shopping online and shopping in bulk.  I only plan on one kid- so I can't plan on recouping the savings with the next kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using figures from Baby Bargains, my cost difference is going to be around 600 over three years.  Enough that I just don't see the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="956" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T02:11:16.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-05-24T02:47:39.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes.&#xA;We use &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fuzzibunz.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fuzziBunz&lt;/a&gt;. We started using them at 3 months and are planning to use the dozen we have for about 18 months.  We wash them every other day.  We still have a few disposables around for when we are out of the house so we're not totally dedicated/dogmatic, but basically she wears the cloth diapers.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;After wear and tear on the washing machine, water, detergent, and power, my estimate is that the diapers will save about $750 in cash over their lifetime, and a whole hell of a lot of plastic from the landfills.  Its not particularly hard to do, we just keep a wet pail next to the washing machine.&#xA;I say dive in.  People lived without disposable plastic diapers for an awfully long time and, frankly, its economical and not all that difficult. &#xA;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="92" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T02:47:39.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1598" CreationDate="2011-05-24T02:59:01.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just to offer a different experience, our daughter is just fine on formula when shes not drinking breast milk (probably a 50/50 mix).  Similac, Enfamil, Costco brand...whatever.  Definitely get a nice big carton of the stuff and try it out with no breast milk...your baby may not care one way or the other.&#xA;As for the health benefits...do NOT worry about skipping some of the time.  My understanding is that if you can keep at least a modest amount of breast milk in the mix for the fist nine to twelve months you get all those great benefits to IQ and the immune system.  Modern formula has a really nice mix of nutrients and fatty acids, so its not like you're switching to crap for your baby.&#xA;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="92" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T02:59:01.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-05-24T06:02:22.567" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children at the age of four are not and should not be generally expected to sit still or spell complicated words correctly and certainly not understand why spelling it &quot;color&quot; is wrong when Kermit spells it like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's a mistake to use the terms &quot;right&quot; and &quot;wrong&quot; in this case. In fact, it's a mistake in any case as one spelling isn't right or wrong. English spelling is just a mostly arbitrary selection between options, there aren't any spelling rules per se, just tradition, and tradition differs in different countries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hence, instead of explaining that &quot;color&quot; is wrong, you should explain that &quot;color&quot; is alright, but in NZ we usually have a u before the r, making it &quot;colour&quot;. This will be an excellent opportunity for your kid to learn both that there may not always be a right and wrong answer. If &quot;here in New Zealand&quot; is too complicated, just say &quot;color&quot; is correct, but &quot;colour&quot; is even better. Personally I'd wait with that until he starts school, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regards to the claims that NZ and UK schools do claim that there is a right and wrong spelling, this is hardly done with 4-years olds, and if it is, a word with the teacher to tone down the &quot;you are doing it wrong!&quot; with 4-year olds is probably appropriate. It's obviously different once they are a bit older, but telling a 4-year old they are doing it wrong when he/she is writing &quot;I have a calico colored cat&quot; is perhaps less pedagogical than could be desired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T06:02:22.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1598" CreationDate="2011-05-24T06:54:16.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand that the first 3 days are the most important, so much so it is vital you do it then.  From there on, I believe it is just very good for the baby.  My wife settled at 12 months for breastfeeding, onto cows' milk then, bypassing formula.  The important transfer is done by 3 days, so I believe everything after that is the icing on the cake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it is hard to comment further as I don't know how old the baby is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The NHS suggests that Breastfeeding is the healthiest way to feed your baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Exclusive breastfeeding (giving your&#xA;  baby breast milk only) is recommended&#xA;  for around the first six months (26&#xA;  weeks) of your baby's life. After&#xA;  that, giving your baby breast milk&#xA;  alongside other food will help them&#xA;  continue to grow and develop&#xA;  Any amount of breastfeeding has a positive effect. The longer you breastfeed, the longer the protection lasts and the greater the benefits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Infant formula doesn't give your baby the same ingredients or provide the same protection. Breast milk adapts to meet your baby's changing needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/breastfeeding/Pages/breastfeeding-benefits.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Breastfeeding NHS&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was at a christening the other day where a lady was breastfeeding her 6 year old son.  I was surprisingly shocked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:09:38.327" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:09:38.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1598" CreationDate="2011-05-24T07:23:27.663" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be aware that -&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can't store frozen breast milk for ages. &lt;strong&gt;Check with a nurse in your community,&lt;/strong&gt; as the recommendation varies by country. In Austria, I think they say 3 months.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;thawed breast milk must be consumed quickly. Ask the nurse; in Austria they say 24 hours. As @cabbey says, it's best to freeze one serving apiece.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;milk production varies over time and is directly linked to how much is consumed/pumped; keep breastfeeding and perhaps the production will go up. Not certain though; every person is different.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;before the baby stops needing it&quot; is very subjective. Some moms stop breastfeeding after two weeks, some after 9 months or more. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;my understanding is that because breast milk helps train the immune system, I believe it would be best to breastfeed as much as possible &lt;em&gt;early&lt;/em&gt; to get the immune system ready, and then you don't need to consider that anymore when you switch to formula.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no personal experience with mixing breast milk and formula, so I can't comment on that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt; since you now say the child is only 2 weeks old, it's worth adding that breastfeeding as exclusively as possible is the best basis for a healthy immune system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-25T18:39:22.723" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T18:39:22.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1609" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1616" CreationDate="2011-05-24T16:39:44.457" Score="2" ViewCount="215" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for software, which allow my three year old to tap a letter and it will present the letter and say it. I speak an obscure language so I need to record the letters myself. Does this exist?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason for asking trial made in Sweden where they found that children should start to learn by writing, not reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this does not exist, would you be willing to sponsor the development? I would then hire someone to make such software.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="958" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T15:26:17.753" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T15:26:17.753" Title="Is there software that helps teach pre-schoolers to recognize letters?" Tags="|education|teaching|pre-schooler|language|language-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="443" CreationDate="2011-05-24T16:47:51.020" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son does this, or on occasion he puts his head over the sink and opens his mouth watching the water just fall out, same effect but different concept.  Although you could practice outside, or in the bathroom sink, with a cup of water and do more &quot;modeling&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the whole swallowing reason is why children's toothpaste, at least in the US, is made to be swallowed since young kids don't always grasp the concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T16:47:51.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-05-24T17:01:33.510" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I'm introducing a new food, I try to not make it the whole meal - it'll overwhelm my son.  Kiwi fruit, as an example; he wouldn't eat it sliced &amp;amp; plain.  So I started slicing it finely and adding it to his yoghurt in the morning, and into a fruit salad for the evening dessert, slowly making the pieces bigger.  Now he loves them and I just have to peel it and he'll eat it whole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I've previously mentioned, my son is currently in the 'I don't eat green vegetables' phase (he's 3.)  So I make sure he gets carrots and cauliflower at dinnertime, and I give him carrot sticks and cucumbers as snacks.  I also make sure I make a broccoli, leek and spinach soup once a week and give him a small bowl of it.  He'll it soup if it's green.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having him help with the dinner is also a good way to get him interested in it; he wants to sample the sauce or stir this and whisk that - but as it's also been mentioned, I cook one meal, and that's what he gets.  If he won't eat what's on his plate, then once I'm done clearing the table and taking care of the other dishes, his plate is taken and tossed.  If he gets hungry later he gets carrot sticks, an apple and some raisins, but nothing more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-24T17:01:33.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1598" CreationDate="2011-05-24T21:58:54.707" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002451.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Breastmilk&lt;/a&gt; can be stored in a deep freezer (not the freezer on your fridge) for up to 6 months (at 0F). It can be stored in a standard fridge/freezer freezer compartment for 3 months, and if it's an 'apartment sized' aka mini fridge with a freezer compartment in it, just 2 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're in doubt as to storage, call your local La Leche League.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastEditorUserId="583" LastEditDate="2011-05-25T22:33:47.840" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T22:33:47.840" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-05-25T09:37:19.803" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/020162690X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Touchpoints&lt;/a&gt;, where he says that at a certain age, children don't actually NEED to eat that much, and they are far more interested in exploring and moving than in eating, so he recommends just putting little bits of everything on their plates, and letting them come back to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our experience with the oldest is that she would eat pretty much anything till around 15 months, then she spent 6 months being intensely fussy, pretty much eating only pasta or bread sticks. We just put extra vitamins in her milk and let it ride. Now (at nearing 5) there are still quite a few of the classic no-no veggies she doesn't like, but she eats lots of apples, carrots, and has a fairly balanced diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children differ too, our younger daughter is far more inquisitive, she's up for tasting anything, even if she decides she doesn't like it, whereas her sister is much more conservative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I would say the most important thing is to teach your toddler to ENJOY eating. We have a friend whose daughter is 6, and she just doesn't eat. Every single mealtime is a battle, every single mouthful is a battle. I strongly suspect it is at least partially because of her mother forcing her when she was younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that food is an excellent weapon in the battle of the wills. This is one of the few areas where your child can exert his/her will and 'win', so you don't really want to go there. Our eldest daughter is far more 'fussy' when she is at home, and when both parents are present - because she can get more 'mileage' out of the conflict. Sometimes I suspect it's just a way to get attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, we are also influenced by our own upbringing - &quot;waste not, want not&quot;. My parents grew up in the post-war years, when being fussy was pretty much criminal. That doesn't mean that now we should be wasteful, of course, but we do perhaps need to rethink and justify our priorities, and what food and eating actually mean for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Disclaimer: cross-posted from &lt;a href=&quot;http://moms4mom.com/questions/3553/how-to-teach-a-toddler-to-eat-what-they-are-given&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T09:37:19.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1614" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-25T10:09:00.803" Score="5" ViewCount="734" Body="&lt;p&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-13511668&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;recent news item&lt;/a&gt; dealt with heads in Middlesbrough instructing parents not to wear pyjamas on the school run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my own case school recently wrote to parents reminding them to wear seatbelts and to ensure children are wearing seatbelts on the drive to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seatbelts are a legal requirement, but ultimately it's my responsibility not the school's. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seatbelts, pyjamas. Would it be fair to tell the school it's none of their business?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="59" LastEditorUserId="59" LastEditDate="2011-08-06T00:22:10.420" LastActivityDate="2012-11-12T03:39:01.717" Title="Should schools instruct parents how to behave on the school run?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1614" CreationDate="2011-05-25T10:19:00.260" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The school has no authority over the parents, except when on school premises.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school is free to &lt;em&gt;suggest&lt;/em&gt; or even &lt;em&gt;recommend&lt;/em&gt; certain ideas, but as long as the parents aren't on the premises, they can wear whatever they like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Having now read the BBC article linked in the question, it's indeed a story of a school &lt;em&gt;requesting&lt;/em&gt; parents to dress properly. The school probably realizes that they can't &lt;em&gt;require&lt;/em&gt; it, as they have no sanctions against the parents. Though obviously people can dress any way they want, I think it's reasonable to expect a certain minimum, with pajamas clearly being below that minimum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-25T11:36:40.463" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T11:36:40.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1609" CreationDate="2011-05-25T13:12:45.853" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://babysmash.com&quot;&gt;http://babysmash.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="835" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T13:12:45.853" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1533" CreationDate="2011-05-25T16:44:47.420" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;To add to the above comments use clothing colors and patterns.  The following list developed over time, often based on what colors the our boys were drawn to at a young age.  Since about 3 months old Twin B always reaches towards the yellow toys and clothing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house it is an unwritten rule that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Twin A always wears blues, greens, browns, solid colors, and/or anything with puppies, trucks, or superman on it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Twin B always wears yellows, reds, oranges, stripes, and/or anything with monkeys, sports equipment, or batman on it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T16:44:47.420" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1598" CreationDate="2011-05-25T16:58:28.137" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is my advice based on my personal experience pumping breastmilk for twin boys for a full year.  Of the 12 months I supplemented with formula for about 5 of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your little one is only 2 weeks old so you have a bit of time before you have to worry about it.  Your wifes supply will change quite a bit over the next few months.  There is a good chance that she will make more than enough milk and still have extra to freeze.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your wife should continue pumping as long as she can.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I found that when I went back to work it was actually easier since I was on a very strict and regular schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't be afraid to mix formula. (Unless your wife is going back to work soon, I would hold off until your little one is at least a month old.)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What I did when going back to work was to add an ounce of formula to each bottle through out the day and then at the end of the day freeze whatever milk was left in the fridge.  It helped me to set up a nice freezer supply gradually over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Spend the extra money and buy the small 8oz bottles of formula&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Because your little one is getting primarily breastmilk they won't use very much formula.  Powdered formula expires about a month after it has been opened.  I spent extra money and got a case of the 8oz travel bottles of Similac formula.  It ended up saving me a ton of money in the long run.  One thing to be careful of is to try the brand of formula you want to use first to make sure the the little one won't react to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Buy extra storage bottles for the fridge.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I used a Medela pump and bought a total of 9 storage bottles for it.  It allowed me to use them to store and transport the milk without having to wash bottles constantly.  I only used the milk storage bags for freezing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T16:58:28.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1570" CreationDate="2011-05-25T18:42:47.833" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm facing the same problem and there's a hidden problem here that lurks hidden in the dark: Constant want and depression. A child that will &lt;em&gt;get&lt;/em&gt; everything he/she wants will become a depressed child. I see it with mine. I don't know any other 8 year old who has the following (for the asking): XBOX 360 with Kinect, newest iPod Touch, iPad, his own computer with internet connection, Nintendo 3DS and toys beyond his capacity to enjoy. Do you think he's happy? no. He wants new things all the time - has no appreciation for what he has. Every trip outside the house must result in a &quot;toy&quot; or purchase. It's no even things he wants - if he can't find things he wants on the shelves, he'll pick something he doesn't want just for the &quot;rat-rush&quot; of the buy and he'll lose interest within minutes and become depressed again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize it's our fault for pampering him, but if there's anything we learned from this - buying a kid whatever he wants whenever he wants it - is &lt;strong&gt;child abuse&lt;/strong&gt;. It's harmful, it will depress him/her and seriously hurt the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid it at all costs. Buy him something for his birthday he'll appreciate. Never make it a weekly/bi-weekly ritual.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T18:42:47.833" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1570" CreationDate="2011-05-25T20:53:58.823" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our twins just turned 5.  Here are some things that worked for us. Pardon the long list, our twins have very different temperaments and we've found that very different things work for each of them:  One responds better to talking, and the other needs consequences before the talking sinks in.  I'm also giving our tactics for dealing with the rudeness that I find most aggravating about kids who frequently want things in public.  I don't know if you have this problem, but they've always gone hand-in-hand for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We talk about how Mommy leaves for work each day (Dad is a SAHD) to work and earn money, and how Mommy has to spend more time working if we spend more money.  This isn't just one conversation, it's something we discuss when the kids ask things like &quot;Why does Mommy leave the house each day?&quot; and &quot;Why can't we afford that?&quot;  This helps the kids see that buying more is a lifestyle choice, and that our family values time together over getting more stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, we give the children most of the &quot;fruits and veggies&quot; portion of our grocery budget and let them pick out their own produce, up to the budgeted amount (usually $5 each).  They get a feel for how money works, and they love eating the (healthy!) food they picked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After thanking God for giving us food at meals, we thank Daddy for preparing the food (I lead this), and my husband has started leading the kids in thanking me for earning the money to buy the food (and sometimes he and the kids start listing out other things we buy with my income - water, electricity, our house, etc.).  This helps our children connect money with work and with the things we truly need, like food and shelter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We play the &quot;gratitude game&quot;, where people list things they are grateful for - toys, family, nature, our home, etc.  The kids get pretty into thinking up detailed things they appreciate.  This lets us discuss gratitude for what we already have in our responses to why we aren't buying more.  Gratitude is a very abstract concept, but teaching it by giving examples of things we are grateful for has worked well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we are asked rudely in the store to buy something, I talk about how I am sorry, but she asked rudely and I don't buy toys for rude children or selfish children.  Then I focus on the manners, explaining what a polite way to deal with the situation would be.  I then refuse to buy the toy even if she asks politely because she started with rudeness, and sadly explain that she has to be polite from the beginning.  A bad reaction to this information (throwing a fit, for example; or, continuing to be rude) leads to more severe discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nagging, repetitive questions (or statements!) that we've already responded to are a form of rudeness, and disciplined accordingly.  The word, &quot;Why?&quot; is not considered a complete question, and we coach our daughters on asking the full question before we answer, e.g., &quot;Why can't we buy that toy?&quot;  &quot;Why does it cost too much?&quot;  &quot;Why can't we afford it?&quot;  &quot;Why was I [the child] too rude?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep a &quot;To Buy&quot; list of things we want, and when our kids want something and ask politely (on the FIRST try!), we tell them we'll put it on the list and think about it.  Sometimes they get these items for holidays or when they've been especially well behaved.  Very rarely, they will receive a politely requested item that we can afford immediately, or they will be so well behaved when we say &quot;No&quot; that we will change our minds and get it for them then, saying that we are celebrating our joy at having such a polite child(ren).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="959" LastActivityDate="2011-05-25T20:53:58.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1570" CreationDate="2011-05-26T06:34:01.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The desire of the human flesh is what we all need to learn to overcome. Your child doesn't understand math and doesn't understand where the money comes from either. So he's not going to understand the value that money represents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The value that your child needs to understand, is the value of patience. You can start teaching them this at home. &lt;strong&gt;Here's what you do.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before dinner, yes..  before dinner, offer your child a cookie. But tell them, that if they wait until after dinner, then they can have two cookies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course they're going to want the cookie now. You have to do everything you can to convince them to wait until after dinner. But don't force them. If they want the cookie now, and it becomes a heated debate, then give him the cookie. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep doing this at dinner time until you can convince your son to wait until after dinner. Once your child realizes that they can get two cookies if they wait, then mix it up a little and offer them other kinds of treats in the same manor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course as your child gets older you can come up with all kinds of new ways of doing this. What you're going to notice is that when you're at the store your child will be much more patient with you when you tell them that you cannot buy them something right now. And when you do finally buy something for them, remind them that because they waited they can pick out a toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;God Bless!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T06:34:01.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1609" CreationDate="2011-05-26T06:39:12.647" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use starfall &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.starfall.com/n/level-k/index/play.htm?f&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.starfall.com/n/level-k/index/play.htm?f&lt;/a&gt; This link goes to a free area where you can teach them letters with ease. Our son is three and knows his abc's as well as being able to point out each of the letters by name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try and mix it up however, playing letter puzzles and number puzzles as well. This helps huge and allows you to do something with them at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, flash cards with an image on one side and the word on the flip side are precious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T06:39:12.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-26T06:46:39.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take your child to a garden and let them pick the greens there. Your child will have a completely different outlook on greens after they've visited a fresh garden a few times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We grew green beens, a few other vegetables and strawberries for easy convincing. Our son absolutely loves greens, including broccoli.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T06:46:39.083" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-26T06:46:39.083" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-05-26T06:56:04.910" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't lie to your child. Santa is a poor reason to ruin trust between you and your child. If your child is coming to you asking about santa being real, it's because they trust you and they want to know what the truth is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You stand to gain NOTHING from lying to your son. Sit him down today and break the news to him, he'll trust you more when you're done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastEditorUserId="969" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T23:03:39.387" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T23:03:39.387" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-05-26T07:08:40.770" Score="-6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned. You toss your religious views around like its nothing, like it doesn't matter what your child grows up to know. This leads me to believe that you're a Christian by way of asking Jesus into your heart. This makes a lot of since, seeing as your not ultimately concerned about what your child believes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing that you need to do is get your beliefs correct. Asking Jesus into your heart is not biblical, its a heresy that's plaguing the church. Watch this video, Paul washer is on fire about this topic &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wX_BPopbKI&amp;amp;feature=BFa&amp;amp;list=PL312D357DCA76DAF0&amp;amp;index=24&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wX_BPopbKI&amp;amp;feature=BFa&amp;amp;list=PL312D357DCA76DAF0&amp;amp;index=24&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to your child, &lt;strong&gt;lead by example&lt;/strong&gt;. Repeat the lords prayer when you pray in front of your child, at dinner and beside their bed at night. But do not force them to participate, just force them to be respectful while you pray.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read children's bible stories from time to time as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T07:08:40.770" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1626" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1186" CreationDate="2011-05-26T07:30:20.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;thinking about the Greek.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can start as young as you want, you just need to play on your child's skills at their given age. &lt;strong&gt;If your child is under 4 then use images.&lt;/strong&gt; Don't worry about their ability to retain any information, just get them used to the shapes of the letters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spend time drawing the letters and having your child go over the letters with their own crayon. If you do too many different shapes, then your child will never remember any patterns. So stick with one noun, like water and draw it everywhere until they start to recognize it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is between 4 and 8 then you then you can step it up a notch and start playing games with the shapes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above 8 you could easily begin rewarding them for every word that they learn on their own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T07:30:20.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1026" CreationDate="2011-05-26T07:36:59.713" Score="-14" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing wrong with teaching children Truth. If the teacher proposes creation science with a basis of fact, then it's not going to harm your child. Same goes for evolution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem comes in when the teacher begins to tell their students blatant lies about one topic or another. There are plenty of evolution lies taught in the textbooks, you should be more concerned about these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are numerous very accomplished scientists that have gone from evolutionists to creationists based on the evidence that they've found. If that's the way that the evidence points, why would you fight it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T07:36:59.713" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1006" CreationDate="2011-05-26T07:46:07.603" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rich dad poor dad is by far the best resource that you can use for this. Give your child this very simple parable:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Every morning an elderly man goes for a run. He looks to be in great shape and always has the energy. During his run, this old mans grandson can be found at home watching television. This grandson is overweight and never has the energy to run with his grandfather.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you look at the grandfather, he looks to be in great shape and doesn't look like he needs the exercise. However, the grandson does look like he needs the exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same is true when it comes to money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to people that are continuously spending their money, their bank statements are telling them that they need to learn how to start saving. But those that are saving wisely, look like they need to spend more often.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T07:46:07.603" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="994" CreationDate="2011-05-26T07:49:05.200" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Birthday parties are not just for kids to make friends, they're a great way for parents to make new friends also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've always invited everybody that we can think of to our children's parties and offered them all good eats. Get your kid enrolled in tball and soccer and meet up with other parents, be sure to see if their interested in attending and invite them to your kids parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will learn some valuable social skills by being surrounded with new people all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T07:49:05.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1630" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1631" CreationDate="2011-05-26T11:51:14.553" Score="13" ViewCount="89625" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, when booking a trip, I discovered that if I included my infant when making a reservation the price was often as much as $100 more per night. When I confronted the hotel about this (we were either going to have the baby sleep with us in the King bed or bring our own travel bed), I got a load of garbage ranging from &quot;Fire Marshal&quot; requirements, to needing a larger room, to &quot;I can't input it into the system&quot;. In short, it's the hotels grabbing at some extra cash as far as I can tell (though if any of you parents are in the hotel industry and care to elucidate me, I'm always eager to learn).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I'm looking for your own experiences: do you declare your baby when booking a hotel and take the hit, or do you just book for the couple, and try not to wave the baby in the face of the receptionist at check-in and check-out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: this question is specific to infants and toddlers that don't need a third bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="711" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T12:23:00.240" LastActivityDate="2023-03-21T16:45:13.193" Title="Should I declare my baby when booking a hotel?" Tags="|infant|travel|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1630" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:22:12.737" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, we &lt;strong&gt;always state up-front&lt;/strong&gt; that we are bringing an infant even if the hotel doesn't explicitly offer any baby services and does not charge extra. I'd rather be open about it than having to justify &quot;baby smuggling&quot; later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course we sometimes learn during booking that the rate increase is ridiculous, and then we simply &lt;strong&gt;don't complete the booking,&lt;/strong&gt; and look for better alternatives. We've not yet been in a situation where we &lt;em&gt;had&lt;/em&gt; to book a certain place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, sometimes significant fees for infants are actually worth it; I've seen hotel and resort offers where &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; you'd need for the baby is included, from bibs and baby food, over high-chairs and cribs, to wireless long-range baby monitors and professional babysitting. In some of these cases, this would actually be &lt;em&gt;cheaper&lt;/em&gt; than arranging it on your own.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sup&gt;Except diapers and baby wipes. We had to bring our own. Not a problem though.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T20:42:29.927" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T20:42:29.927" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1632" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:39:55.130" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T12:39:55.130" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T12:39:55.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1633" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:39:55.130" Score="0" Body="Situations around the altar of the modern home." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T12:39:55.130" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T12:39:55.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1634" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:41:42.277" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T12:41:42.277" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T12:41:42.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1635" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:41:42.277" Score="0" Body="Breastfeeding, breast milk, lactation, the infant's needs, the mother's needs, pumping, storing/freezing, effects on immune system, and more. See also the tags [feeding] and [eating]." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:21:31.900" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:21:31.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1636" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:52:50.780" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T12:52:50.780" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T12:52:50.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1637" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:52:50.780" Score="0" Body="Issues concerning the bedroom as a room: both the parents' and the child's (bed)room. See also the tags [sleep] and [bedtime]." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T12:52:50.780" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T12:52:50.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1638" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:56:38.847" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T12:56:38.847" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T12:56:38.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1639" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T12:56:38.847" Score="0" Body="The transition from diapers to the potty. See also the tag [toilet-training] for the transition from the potty to the toilet." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T12:56:38.847" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T12:56:38.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1640" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:00:48.613" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T13:00:48.613" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:00:48.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1641" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:00:48.613" Score="0" Body="Learning to talk in the first place, and learning to speak properly. See also the tags [language] for general language issues and [bilingual] for issues involving more than one langauge." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:19:16.113" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:19:16.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1642" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:02:38.427" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T13:02:38.427" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:02:38.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1643" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:02:38.427" Score="0" Body="Use of language in general, and about learning foreign languages. See also the tags [language-development] and [bilingual]." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:24:44.627" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:24:44.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1644" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:03:03.857" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T13:03:03.857" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:03:03.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1645" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:03:03.857" Score="0" Body="Bad language that the parents want to discourage. See also the tag [language]." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T13:03:03.857" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:03:03.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1646" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:04:57.883" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T13:04:57.883" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:04:57.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1647" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:04:57.883" Score="0" Body="Rhythmic audio entertainment as it is listened to and performed, and anything related to musical instruments. See also the tag [singing]." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-22T15:11:37.910" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T15:11:37.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1648" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:07:03.157" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T13:07:03.157" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:07:03.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1649" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:07:03.157" Score="0" Body="How to transport small children in vehicles. Car-seats are most often required by law when transporting children under a certain body size or weight." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:24:56.717" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:24:56.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1650" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:08:38.773" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T13:08:38.773" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:08:38.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1651" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:08:38.773" Score="0" Body="All kinds of (living) animals kept at home indoors or outside. Includes dogs, cats, reptiles, fishes, farm animals, and more." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:26:05.640" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:26:05.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1630" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:25:00.103" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless I need something special for the infant, and we have always brought our own materials for sleeping arrangements and strollers and such, usually I just say child.  I don't recall getting asked for an age, its been awhile since I've done this though.  Usually you do get some additions in hotels, free meals and such, so it's good to have the children on the bill so you get the amenities.  If you are not going to use them, then I've done baby smuggling from time to time, mostly because my wife doesn't like to pay for amenities we will never use.  I understand the hotels have to make money, and I do put the kids on when I can, but I also don't agree with the excess charges for vague items that we'd never use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least I put on child, knowing I may never use my infants breakfast buffet, so I hope the karma evens out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T13:25:00.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1657" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:50:47.017" Score="18" ViewCount="2256" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I will be traveling to the US next month and we're going to take two flights, probably one of 2 hours and the other 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although my 7-month-old son already sits by himself, I'm not sure I should get him his own seat. Is carrying him on our arms for both flights something bearable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also something I'm really worried about is his ears, due to the air pressure. Are there any tips or considerations I should take about that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What about the takeoff and landing? Is that something babies get afraid of? My little one is kind of scared of the blender...so I'm kinda worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm still going to ask our doctor when he has his next visit, but wanted to get some tips ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="972" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-29T12:21:07.180" LastActivityDate="2019-08-29T12:21:07.180" Title="What should I consider when flying with an infant?" Tags="|infant|health|travel|flying|ear|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1654" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1677" CreationDate="2011-05-26T13:57:25.590" Score="3" ViewCount="9335" Body="&lt;p&gt;My family will be visiting Chicago next month and we'll be using the metro and buses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, how do infants (son is a 7 month old baby) usually travel in public transporation? Does one have to set-up a car seat on either of those? Or is it always on arms?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if we carry a lightweight stroller, are there ramps on every station to be able to move around in it? How about when going through the turnstiles? Can the baby go through it on the stroller? Or does one have to fold the stroller, carry the baby on arms, and then unfold the stroller again when boarding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for the help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="972" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:48:22.653" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T20:48:22.653" Title="Can I use a stroller for my infant in Chicago's public transportation?" Tags="|infant|travel|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1655" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-05-26T14:21:03.523" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-26T14:21:03.523" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T14:21:03.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1656" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-05-26T14:21:03.523" Score="0" Body="Traveling with children, e.g. situations and concerns about airports and airplanes, road trips and cars, trains, etc." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:24:10.117" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:24:10.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1653" CreationDate="2011-05-26T14:29:06.867" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Based on my own recent experiences with international flights with a toddler:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Duration:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A 2-hour flight is rarely a problem; even in the worst scenario it's not long enough for you to lose your mind :-) I have no experience with longer flights with infants but I think 4 hours are still within reason, while 10 hours (transatlantic) could be a bigger challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Seating:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Sitting upright is something I'd recommend only for toddlers and older kids, especially for longer trips. Most 7-month infants can't sit upright on their own, because their back muscles and spine aren't adequately developed for the upright position. Infants should be placed in an infant seat (just like in the car) or lying flat on the back in a carry bag (used with the baby buggy) -- both would require it's own passenger seat on the airplane, and this does incur a ticket price.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Since you state that your child can indeed sit by himself (can he sit for four hours in a row?), you might decide to ease up on the general idea I just said. It's your child, so of course you know best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ears and the cabin air pressure:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Your concern is valid, and the experience varies. Some people (any age!) are very sensitive to cabin pressure changes; others barely notice. With infants, the best cure is to give them something to suck on, preferably their milk bottle, or water or watered-down tea (not black). The sucking motion will open canals to the ears that equalize the pressure -- adults sometimes chew gum to the same effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take-off and landing:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;With small children, the potential terror doesn't come from &quot;oh no we're flying/gonna crash/etc.&quot; but rather from the unexpected sounds, especially after the fairly loud and very unfamiliar ordeal of getting through the airport and into the plane to begin with. I know no particularly good solution against the noise except for what I'd do concerning noisy equipment at home too: explain, talk, cuddle, soothe, sing, touch/caress -- whatever you've learned to work well with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;General tips&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Off the top of my head:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You might want to bring a new toy along, as an &quot;emergency distraction&quot; when you're out of options. Choose a kind of toy that the child already likes. Use it only for airplane/airport situations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure your baby day bag is sensibly packed and that you're not low on any consumables like diapers, wipes, fruit bars, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure you're allowed to bring all the items with you into the cabin, and consider printing out the airline's statement about this just in case there's any security trouble.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Airports use the code &lt;code&gt;DAA&lt;/code&gt; (deliver at aircraft) to designate baggage that you can bring straight to the airplane and give to the flight attendants for stowing during flight; you'll get it back as soon as you leave the airplane. Make sure that both ends of your flight allow this. Again, bring printed documentation in case there's trouble at check-in or at the gate. It's no fun to carry a child a kilometer through an airport terminal!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Realize that everything takes longer than you're used to. This is okay. It's part of traveling as a young family. Embrace it, don't stress. Try to see it as a learning experience for the parents too; look for things you can do better next time, but try not to get upset about &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; time, you can't change it anyway. Accept and embrace that you're committed to deal with whatever happens. It's not your regular business flight as an individual.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T14:29:06.867" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1654" CreationDate="2011-05-26T14:41:08.743" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You do not need a car seat in public transportation in Chicago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stations all have ramps/elevators (they are required by law for wheelchair access), however I would &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; take an infant through a Chicago station in a stroller.  People are often pressed together very tightly, they don't watch where they are going or where their bags swing, and it can be hard to keep your infant from touching very germy surfaces.  If you must take public transportation, do it with your child in your arms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be fair, some people do take infants in strollers through the city, and some even use strollers inside Union Station -- maybe those who live and work in the city every day have a strategy for dealing with the rude, the oblivious, and the germy that this country bumpkin just doesn't grok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T14:41:08.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1630" CreationDate="2011-05-26T15:21:23.760" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we've booked our hotels, we just specify us two as adults. If they have a dropdown for infants, then we specify. We don't normally include ours as a child unless they specifically say (0-12) years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't make an effort to hide the baby. I carry her around in the stroller, all the way to the receptionist. They've never said anything to us or charged us extra. We never required cribs, etc. We do ask for extra blankets though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T15:21:23.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1660" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1663" CreationDate="2011-05-26T15:42:14.420" Score="9" ViewCount="1709" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're planning on taking a short (1-2 hour) air trip in a couple of months.  Our son will be 11 months old by then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the delays with getting through security, the amount of time in advance we'll need to arrive at the gate, and the duration of the flight, we're assuming we'll need to feed him at least once during the trip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, with the restrictions of airport security, we're not sure if we'll be able to bring food with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can we bring bottled breast milk?  Powdered formula with water?  Jars of baby food?  All of those would need to exceed the fluid volume restrictions in place for carry-on baggage within the US.  Are exceptions made for infants?  Would glass jars for the baby food be an issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-26T13:16:36.047" LastActivityDate="2019-02-26T13:16:36.047" Title="When flying with an infant, what airport security restrictions for breast milk/formula/baby food apply?" Tags="|infant|food|flying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1541" CreationDate="2011-05-26T16:00:06.690" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, I'm late to the party on this one, but I can't &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; respond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, let me point out that it isn't a request and thinking of chores as a request is starting you out on the wrong foot. Doing chores should be a bare minimum for any child. Chores are a part of being a family and living together. You are a parent, not a servant, and part of your job is teaching children that there are expectations involved in living together and they are at the age where it is time for them to begin learning what that means on a practical level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chores are awkward because children are small and not very capable so it takes three or four times as long for them to do things and it's often easier to just do it yourself&amp;mdash;not to mention the aggravation and bad feelings as you ride them to get their chores done. You have to remember, though, that your time and emotional resolve are an investment in producing capable adults (eventually), and that this is something they need to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enough background. How do you do it? Coercion, plain and simple. How you do so is up to you. Personally, I'd go with the theory that a child who fails to provide the bare minimum effort is inviting you to demonstrate the bare minimum &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; have to bring to the relationship. A week of bland food, no chauffer service, no compliance with his/her requests, no friends over, no going to friends houses, no new clothes/toys/what have you will make your point. I'd accompany that with the explanation that your job is to see that they learn what it takes to be a responsible adult, and that you still love them (indeed, it's that love that prevents you from taking the easy path and simply doing all the chores yourself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any rate, that's the path we took with our kids. They still slack occasionally if we don't follow-up with them, but they're at least competent to do the work, now. And seeing them become competent adults after the years of effort has been very rewarding...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="974" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T16:00:06.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1660" CreationDate="2011-05-26T16:00:14.363" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The rules I know say that &lt;strong&gt;you may bring whatever the child needs for the trip.&lt;/strong&gt; We've stretched that fairly wide without any trouble - but that was neither US nor UK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T16:00:14.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1660" CreationDate="2011-05-26T16:01:03.563" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/children/formula.shtm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;TSA&lt;/a&gt; requires that you declare that you have breastmilk with you at the security checkpoint. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put the bottles in their own plastic bag and there shouldn't be an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T16:01:03.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1443" CreationDate="2011-05-26T18:22:27.617" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was once* invited to a friend's son's bris (Jewish ritual circumcision). I was already in the &quot;why?&quot; camp about circumcising my then-theoretical sons, but witnessing one put me firmly into the &quot;no [expletive] way&quot; camp. The mohel used a topical anesthetic, but that was still one very very unhappy baby. My elder son is now 6, has an entirely age-appropriate interest in comparative anatomy, and has never once asked why I look different, and if he did I'd tell him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Actually twice, but the second time we intentionally arrived after the main event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="978" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T18:22:27.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-26T19:21:23.600" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not a sneak but... the trick is always have healthy food on hand that is quick to serve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our 11 month old we make a few batches of food in a blender (chicken &amp;amp; squash, fruit, beans and vegetables... dishes you find in a children's cook book), then portion them out to ice cube trays. When it's time for a meal, toss 1-3 of them in the microwave for a few seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 3 year old will eat cucumber, peas, corn, avocado, steamed broccoli, steamed cauliflower, chicken, beef, nuts, fish, and most kinds of fruit, so we always have some combination of those foods in the fridge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="979" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T19:21:23.600" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-26T19:21:23.600" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1660" CreationDate="2011-05-26T20:44:51.283" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the past, we have pretty much brought anything we wanted.  All of the things were obviously baby food, in reasonable quantities, in original packaging, and unopened (expect for one, perhaps).  The containers were small, as they are, but I don't think they technically fit the limits for other liquids.  And the baby was with us.  They make you open the bag and test the stuff with their sticks and what not.  But no one ever questioned it any further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They might make you dump whatever milk or water you have currently in the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The TSA or respective equivalent agency is of course the final authority on this; the above is just practical experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="587" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T20:44:51.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1654" CreationDate="2011-05-26T21:38:33.203" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In most cities you can easily drive a stroller onboard &lt;strong&gt;local trains and metros&lt;/strong&gt;, and you are typically allowed to do so. If the stations has elevators or escalators varies wildly from city to city. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Buses and trams&lt;/strong&gt; are different, and there you'll typically find that if the buses/trams are modern strollers work well, and there are often an area for strollers although you will need to be two persons to carry the stroller up and down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Commuter trains&lt;/strong&gt; are usually not stroller friendly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the cases of non-stroller friendly transportation a car seat works for longer journeys, but for the typical 10-20 minute journey of local transportation you'll probably find that a baby carrier is more practical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of this, your strategy will be different in different cities. In Paris you would typically have to carry the stroller up and down stairs to take the Metro, while all buses have stroller-parking (that is often full, though), so for a family with a baby or a toddler a bus is definitely easier. In Stockholm both buses and subway is extremely family friendly, partly because of an almost obsessive handicap-friendliness. In Krakow we find that it's easiest to walk. I remember both local trains and buses in Chicago as being stroller friendly even if we didn't have a stroller with us, but I do not remember if there was escalators or elevators everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-05-26T21:38:33.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1670" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1671" CreationDate="2011-05-27T10:59:07.867" Score="24" ViewCount="19561" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2 month old baby. My wife and I take care of him collectively.  As he is growing, his sleep time is reducing. Sometimes, due to our schedules, we want him to sleep, but the baby is still awake and seems to want us to continue to interact with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will more interaction help the baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="982" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-05-27T14:26:36.093" LastActivityDate="2018-08-12T04:31:56.467" Title="How much should I interact with my newborn?" Tags="|infant|behavior|teaching|newborn|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1670" CreationDate="2011-05-27T12:22:01.263" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, the more interaction you and your wife have with your child, the better!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies are learning at a phenomenal rate, and the more stimulus they receive, the more they are able to pick up about the world around them.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cfs.purdue.edu/itsi/briefs/EffectsOfSharedParent-InfantBookReadingOnEarlyLanguageAcquisition.pdf&quot;&gt;Studies&lt;/a&gt; have shown that there is a link between parents reading to young infants and reading habits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Shared book reading at 4-months was not predictive of later expressive language, but it &#xA;  was related to shared book reading at 8-months, indicating a reading habit can be &#xA;  established and persist until the infant is more ready to benefit educationally from shared &#xA;  book reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Increased interactions with your child help teach the infant to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/parenting/06/07/par.baby.milestones/index.html&quot;&gt;recognize&lt;/a&gt; you and your wife.  These interactions will also lead to your child giving their first true smile sometime over the next few weeks, and trust me: that is not something you want to miss! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/1988/02/02/science/the-experience-of-touch-research-points-to-a-critical-role.html&quot;&gt;Touching&lt;/a&gt; and massaging your child regularly can have significant benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though you aren't going to see huge levels of response from a 2 month old, the more you interact, the better you will become at recognizing your child's body language and other cues as to whether they are happy, content, hungry, uncomfortable, or just plain bored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-05-27T12:22:01.263" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1672" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-27T13:13:29.087" Score="12" ViewCount="603" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have twin boys who are 15 months old.  My mother-in-law does daycare for us and also lives with us.  Recently I have noticed a trend where they are spending more and more time watching TV during the day.  I am starting to look for some books and other resources with games and activities that they can do with Grandma.  They cannot go outside as Grandma can't keep up with them so they are stuck indoors most of the time during the week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of options out there and I am looking for specific books and/or websites that you have used with your children that were good ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;:  My boys are now 17 months old and we are running an experiment where we took the TV away completely.  Now things are crazy.  They don't do any one activity for more than 2 - 5 minutes at a time and appear to be bored silly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am still looking for activities, books, websites and anything that we can use to help create a more structured day for everyone.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="88" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T19:14:23.853" LastActivityDate="2023-01-10T08:56:04.967" Title="Where can we find ideas for activities for our toddler?" Tags="|toddler|activities|learning|games|play-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-27T14:01:00.480" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-27T13:16:26.587" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pancakes&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We make pancakes for the boys using all kinds of foods.  Recently we made pumpkin pancakes and they loved them.  I will never hide what is in their food but I will try to make it more palatable when it is something that they don't like plain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-05-27T13:16:26.587" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-27T13:16:26.587" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1672" CreationDate="2011-05-27T14:36:38.120" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to avoid TV then avoid the computer as well.  Some things we did were get:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Foam Blocks, big and easy to handle though at a teething stage you have to watch them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby Book readers, LeapFrog has an infant version of stories and does both music and reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;VTech has some very simple games with lights and music, kept our 1+ year old entertained&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dolls that dance and or sing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play Mats or the Child Tents and tubes you can put together to make mazes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Inflatable ball pits, or a kiddie pool with lots of small balls - my kids love that stuff, even the oldest&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Little People sets, most have action and or sound&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found anything that made noise tended to be good distractions for our kids, our toddler loves my oldest's Zhu Zhu Pet.  They are kind of annoying but he loves the toy running around and making weird noises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-27T14:36:38.120" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-27T14:36:38.120" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-27T16:21:28.577" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that has not been mentioned here about kids is that they are all about &lt;strong&gt;form&lt;/strong&gt; over &lt;strong&gt;function&lt;/strong&gt;. Kids can be put off by how things look, so one thing we have done to overcome this, is to carve the vegetables into interesting shapes. Carrots make great goldfish, Cucumbers make great Dinosaurs, etc. be creative.&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;Obviously this doesn't work for veggies like Tomatoes, but try combining different vegetables. Also ask your kid what their favorite animal is or involve them in the creative process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="216" LastActivityDate="2011-05-27T16:21:28.577" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-27T16:21:28.577" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1676" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-27T17:11:02.503" Score="3" ViewCount="1008" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2.5 year old boy (my first) and I've always felt that the toys one finds in department stores, and their age group labels, aren't always the best one can get for our small ones. I've found that our son tires very quickly of those &quot;mainstream&quot; toys, or shows no interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, I often take him to daycare with public transportation and he's obviously bored during the ride.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Where can I find good suggestions on what kind of toys/occupations are the most appropriate for each age group, both with respect to the educational value and to the entertainment value?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="892" LastEditorUserId="419" LastEditDate="2011-10-07T15:19:14.527" LastActivityDate="2018-09-25T09:04:18.400" Title="Where can I find good toys suggestions for each age group?" Tags="|toddler|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1654" CreationDate="2011-05-27T19:37:33.843" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in Chicago, have taken both my kids on public transport (bus and train).  Most stations are now ADA compliant so you can take the stroller through where a wheelchair rider would.  There are elevators too.  Check out their site for a list of accessible stations: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.transitchicago.com/maps/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.transitchicago.com/maps/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can get crowded at rush hour, but in my experience other riders are conscious of people with kids/strollers and generally accommodating.  It's not uncommon to see people give up their seat for someone riding with young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as germs go, I don't think it is any more or less germy than any public place. I suspect you already have hand sanitizer if you have a kid in diapers.  Just use common sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="765" LastActivityDate="2011-05-27T19:37:33.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1653" CreationDate="2011-05-27T19:42:26.913" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I traveled with our kids frequently by plane and rarely bought them a seat due to cost.  If your child is crawling, it will be a little more difficult because he'll want to get down and move around when he's not supposed to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Highly recommend a few new toys/books.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring more (2x) diapers/wipes than you think you need since you can get stuck for an extended period of time if there are weather or mechanical problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about what other passengers are thinking when/if your kid cries.  Kids cry, they'll get over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="765" LastActivityDate="2011-05-27T19:42:26.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1469" CreationDate="2011-05-27T19:45:13.683" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try &lt;a href=&quot;http://piratebrands.com/products/piratesbooty/veggie&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Veggie Booty&lt;/a&gt;.  It's got a full serving of vegetables and most kids I've seen try it, like it.  They cover a rice puff (maybe corn) with &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kale&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Kale&lt;/a&gt; powder.  You can buy kale powder in bulk and mix it in with all kinds of food without your children noticing most likely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="765" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T04:52:06.193" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T04:52:06.193" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-05-27T19:45:13.683" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1676" CreationDate="2011-05-27T20:02:16.810" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a child finds entertaining varies a lot for individual children.  My 7 year-old daughter likes toys with buttons to push, and pretty much always has.  My 4 year-old son likes cars, and pretty much always has.  My 18 month-old daughter likes dolls even though her siblings almost never play with them.  We haven't encouraged or discouraged any particular toys with them.  They just gravitate towards ones they like the most.  Your best bet to figure it out for your son is just to expose him to lots of different toys and see which ones he likes.  Play dates, cousins, church, or day care are good places to observe him with lots of unfamiliar toys.  Also, something as simple as taking him toy shopping with you to see what catches his eye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One place I like for buying toys &quot;cold&quot; is amazon.com (search for toys and games).  They break it out by age group and have lots of user submitted reviews so you can see which toys worked best for other parents.  A lot of the reviews have the rating broken out by different characteristics such as durability, fun, educational, etc.  You can also leave comments on reviews to ask the reviewer follow up questions about a specific toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-27T20:02:16.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1653" CreationDate="2011-05-27T23:37:32.323" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently took my 9-month-old niece to Europe. The flights were 6 hours for one leg and 2 hours for the other leg. We did not buy a seat for her - saving that expense was, after all, kind of the point of taking her to see the relatives &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; rather than later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As it was a full flight, they did not allow us to bring the umbrella stroller on board. This meant we had to make the transfer at Heathrow without a stroller. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't the worst thing. &lt;br&gt;&lt;sub&gt;(They also kind of forgot to actually, like, &lt;em&gt;put the stroller on the plane,&lt;/em&gt; so we spent our first few days at our destination sans stroller, but that's a different matter.)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you don't buy a seat for an infant, they give you a seat belt extension, which is basically a belt with a stationary loop sewn to it. You put that loop onto the parent's seat belt, and the belt around the child's waist. How well this works depends in large part on the child in question - squirminess, weight, height, etc. (It also depends on getting an extension with a working latch. All of the ones we got had worn springs, so we kept having to tighten the belt around the child.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On overseas flights, some airlines (read: British Airways) provide car-seat-like bassinets for infants. However, if the seat belt sign comes on, you have to remove the child from the bassinet and strap her into the seat belt extension. Depending on the weather, this can mean you might decide to simply not use the bassinet.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Because of the above listed issues (no stroller + holding child in lap), be prepared to have &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; tired arms by the end of the trip. And pack a large bottle of your favorite painkiller.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Check the policies of the airports where you're making transfers regarding what's allowed on board,&lt;/strong&gt; and whether you'll have to go through a security screening. We had to go through security at Heathrow, even though we were only transferring planes, and &lt;em&gt;they enforced their &lt;strong&gt;own&lt;/strong&gt; rules&lt;/em&gt; regarding allowable baby food and such. Among other things, they insisted that we open and taste half of the jars we brought, which meant we pretty much had to throw that half away unused - we had no way to refrigerate the open jars, and traveling is hard enough without giving your baby food poisoning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This also meant purchasing a new batch of bottled water at the transfer airport, because you can't take water through security. Make sure you have some means of paying for stuff en route.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ears were a big worry for us, because both my sister and I have a terrible time with air pressure differences. Thankfully, it turns out my niece resembles her father in this regard - she weathered the landings much better than her mother. That said, having a bottle to suck on helped just to keep her occupied while her mother was, um, distracted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The hardest part was figuring out when to get out the bottle - they don't exactly announce &quot;we're taking off/landing exactly 7 minutes from now&quot;. If you've switched to fast-flow nipples, it might be a good idea to take some of the slow-flow ones for the trip, just so the bottle will last the child through the entire takeoff/landing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A 7-month-old is too young to intellectualize the concept of flying to the point where they're afraid of it. However, there are plenty of other potentially-scary (or just unpleasant) things they can encounter while traveling: strangers, loud noises, not being allowed to move around when they'd like to, etc. Most of these are things they can encounter even without flying, so you may already have coping mechanisms that work for your child. Distraction, physical comfort, food, motion (within limits) - be prepared to apply any and all of the tools in your arsenal.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Like others have said, don't worry about what other people think when (not if) your child starts crying. Chances are, anyone over three rows away can't even hear your child over the engine noise. Those who can hear and are bothered by it are supposedly adults, and can thus deal with it. If anyone has the bad manners to bother you about it, handle it with as much politeness as you can muster. If that amounts to pretending you didn't hear them, so be it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Definitely ask your pediatrician for any specific advice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you do purchase a seat for your child, I believe most airlines expect (possibly even require) you to bring a car seat: even a 1-year-old is too young to sit in an adult-sized seat for any length of time. This brings its own set of questions, of course: airline seats are notoriously tight on space, so that car seat that fits just fine in your minivan will probably not conform to the airline's requirements. Plan ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget the camera. And spare batteries. And the battery charger (plus a plug converter). And don't plan to install that firmware update once you get there - you're liable to hose the camera permanently. (Don't ask.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="984" LastActivityDate="2011-05-27T23:37:32.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1676" CreationDate="2011-05-28T02:39:34.000" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've always found good ideas on the Dr. Toy website:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drtoy.com/main/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.drtoy.com/main/index.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="987" LastActivityDate="2011-05-28T02:39:34.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1683" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-28T17:06:20.827" Score="8" ViewCount="345" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler is bedwetting a lot, and we are unsure how to deal with things.  We haven't told her off for it, but we're not sure what we should be doing.  Would telling her off just make things worse?  If so, should we just wait for her to grow out of it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="989" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T22:39:51.987" Title="What's the best way to deal with bedwetting?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1683" CreationDate="2011-05-29T01:21:09.550" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The physical development needed to avoid bedwetting doesn't come in as quickly as that needed to stay dry during the day.  It's quite normal for a child to wet at night long after being toilet trained.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bed-wetting/DS00611&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Mayo Clinic says bedwetting as late as 7 years old isn't cause for concern.&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reprimanding a child for something she can't physically control yet isn't constructive.  My advice is to give it time, and use pull-ups or similar at night to minimize messes.  If your child isn't stressed out about it, she'll probably grow out of it in time without any problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-05-29T01:21:09.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1683" CreationDate="2011-05-29T02:05:50.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I had the problem, and I wanted to fix it myself I tried all sorts of things but the one thing I had the most success with was not drinking any liquids at least one hour before bedtime.  I also made sure I went to the bathroom before I went to bed, at least once, just to make sure there was nothing left inside.  My goal was to try and avoid the situation from happening, although at the time I probably was doing this due to the divorce my parents were going through, but I never understood why, I just hated waking up in a wet bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There might be some stress in the child's life, could be developmental as HedgeMage says, or something else.  With toddlers it is hard to tell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-29T02:05:50.663" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1687" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-29T04:24:44.937" Score="17" ViewCount="101053" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2-month-old baby that will start crying as soon as we put her in the car seat and absolutely will not stop until she is out of it. She could be fed and asleep with a new diaper before the car ride, and it doesn't matter. Almost immediately, she will cry. Having her suck on a pacifier helps but more often than not, the pacifier falls out after a few minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And in fact, our oldest daughter acted in a similar way and didn't stop until we had her front-facing. We thought it might be the car seat, but our pediatrican says that would be very unusual. My wife and I have talked about trying a new car seat, but that's a lot of money to try something unproven. It's gotten to the point where we don't want to take her anywhere any longer. Help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="85" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:26:56.000" LastActivityDate="2017-06-15T18:07:37.453" Title="Why won't  our infant stop crying when in the car seat?" Tags="|infant|behavior|crying|car-seat|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1687" CreationDate="2011-05-29T04:45:42.323" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Many&lt;/em&gt; people get motion sick when moving backwards for any length of time.  I suspect that this might be the case for your daughter because her older sister did better once she was front-facing.  If this is the case, the second your daughter hits the car seat, she knows that horrible feeling is coming, but she doesn't know why or how to tell you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would test this by putting your daughter front-facing for a small trip (use a parking lot if your locality doesn't allow children your daughter's age to face front on public streets).  If she does fine facing front, you have a choice between a motion sickness remedy and facing her frontwards as a rule; I'm sure that both your locality's car seat regulations and your pediatrician's advice would inform that decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ghsa.org/html/stateinfo/laws/childsafety_laws.html&quot;&gt;Here is a link to the car seat laws&lt;/a&gt; for US states.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-10-17T22:03:08.430" LastActivityDate="2012-10-17T22:03:08.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1689" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-29T10:09:50.410" Score="9" ViewCount="461" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby has mainly been breast-fed so far, and, while it has worked reasonably well (she's gaining weight), it would be nice if I, as the father, could feed her once in a while to allow my wife some rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She did take the bottle at around 2-3 weeks of age, but I only needed to feed her three times. Now, since she lost her rooting reflex at around 8 weeks (I've read that this is common around that age), she doesn't seem to understand that the bottle is food too. (She gets the breast without problem though, even on her own if she's close enough.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adding to the frustration, she really dislikes being cradled in anyone's lap. Holding her with two hands away from the body, or on the shoulder, or &quot;face-down&quot; two handed is fine. When breast-feeding, she starts to get upset but often she starts eating before it goes out of control. When I attempt bottle-feeding, it's near impossible to try to find a comfortable position for her where I can try to get her to understand that the bottle is something that she must suck on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it matters, we're using a bottle that requires some suction in order for the milk to flow, so that she can eat at her own pace. It worked great when she did eat from it, but now she just hates it when something is poking at her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All ideas and tips greatly appreciated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="850" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T10:17:27.423" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T10:17:27.423" Title="How can we make our newborn accept the bottle?" Tags="|newborn|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1689" CreationDate="2011-05-29T13:29:46.880" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It did happen for our daughter and in her case changing the teat/nipple to one with different speeds helped. On faster speed it still requires some effort (can control when to get milk or not) but it's a lot easier for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the position our daughter moves a lot also but she doesn't especially dislike being cradled. You should try to let her seat more straight and let her look out the window or some toys, don't let her drink everything in one go and make her burp at half the bottle; it helped for us. (3 months old now)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, before feeding her make sure she's not too hot (holding her will increase the feeling) and that her diaper is clean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastActivityDate="2011-05-29T13:29:46.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1689" CreationDate="2011-05-29T13:35:06.900" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is your wife in the room with you while you attempt to bottle feed your daughter? If so, she could be smelling her mother's milk and would rather have that - which means your wife can't be present while you try to bottle feed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A different sized opening on the nipple of the bottle might help too, so she can get more milk out at first, then you can switch it back to make her work for it and help encourage her suckling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all else fails, and you can't get her to suckle at the bottle - start trying to give her the formula/breast milk in a small cup (think a plastic shot glass).  Most babies can drink in that manner and it might save you all the irritation of bottles.  We gave our son my breastmilk in a shot glass to avoid nipple confusion - it allowed my husband to have our son sitting upright (which they both liked) and my son could drink from the cup just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-29T13:35:06.900" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1687" CreationDate="2011-05-29T18:01:49.297" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that seems to help our 4 month old is to cover his car seat with a light sheet or blanket.  This helps him to sometimes eventually fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="161" LastActivityDate="2011-05-29T18:01:49.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1693" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1696" CreationDate="2011-05-29T18:58:23.623" Score="12" ViewCount="1971" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby daughter is breast-fed, but sometimes it would be convenient to supplement with a bottle of formula (mostly so that the mother can sleep a little longer while dad takes care of it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep hearing/reading of the danger of &quot;nipple confusion&quot;: that she will then no longer wish to breast feed as she will prefer the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I feel a bit doubtful that this could be a big problem. I tried googling for reputable literature on this, but could not really find any scientific studies on whether this is a real effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is nipple confusion real? Can a bottle feeding once or twice a week trigger it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="27" LastEditorUserId="27" LastEditDate="2011-05-30T02:17:55.500" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T05:21:39.390" Title="Is nipple confusion a real thing?" Tags="|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1693" CreationDate="2011-05-29T20:15:14.787" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bottle nipples feel different, and formula milk tastes different, so it's certainly plausible that a child might 'switch allegiance'. I believe I've also heard that drinking from a bottle is 'less work' for the baby, which might make them more fussy about hooking up to Mum's supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IANAP :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2011-05-29T20:15:14.787" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1695" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2859" CreationDate="2011-05-29T20:27:20.577" Score="4" ViewCount="469" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know the details of any studies, but I think the general consensus these days is that bringing up children multilingual from the start is a positive thing to do, even if it can slightly delay their initial development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As our oldest is starting to learn to read at school, I wondered if anyone knows if there are any studies about learning to &lt;strong&gt;read&lt;/strong&gt; in two languages? Specifically: is there a difference in the conclusions for reading compared to talking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(The two languages in this case are French &amp;amp; English).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:39:51.890" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T11:51:55.010" Title="Are there any studies about whether learning to read in two languages is slower?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|reading|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1693" CreationDate="2011-05-30T01:19:00.060" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is absolutely real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our son was born, he had jaundice, so the doctors had us feed him some formula through a syringe for the first 2 days to lower the bilirubin levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son started sucking on the syringe, despite our best efforts to avoid this.  As a result, he became extremely frustrated while attempting to breastfeed, as the milk was not coming fast enough for him.  We had to use rubber nipples with pumped breastmilk after that, as he would simply go limp and give up within moments of latching on to the real nipple, because it was too much effort, and he was used to how fast the rubber nipples gave milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To this day, if the nipple gets clogged, our son tends to pitch a fit (the only time he ever complains about anything is when he is hungry).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lactation consultants we spoke with, as well as several books we read, indicated that artificial nipples should be avoided in the first 4 weeks.  However, after the 4 week mark, infants are usually comfortable enough with a real nipple that nipple confusion is rarely an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also worth noting that whether nipple confusion affects any given child is largely related to that child's temperment.  There's a pretty wide variety of attitudes newborns have towards feeding, from very aggressive, to reluctant, as well as different levels of persistence.   A child who aggressively nurses, even when his mother is waiting for her milk to come in, is probably much less likely to suffer from nipple confusion than some other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-05-30T01:19:00.060" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1693" CreationDate="2011-05-30T01:51:20.933" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the majority of feedings are nursing, you should be able to tell if you're starting to have any issues with nursing and adjust the bottles. You can decrease the bottle feedings if you have nursing issues, and change the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the actual difference, there's the milk vs formula taste, flow of liquid, temperature, and shape of the nipple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taste: If you used pumped breast milk, the taste would be the same as the fresh stuff. &#xA;Flow of liquid: There are bottle nipples that are shaped more like a breast&#xA;Temperature: My preferred way is to use hot tap water in a glass, submerging the bottle of milk. It takes a few minutes to warm, but you can shake the bottle to warm it faster.&#xA;Shape: There are different bottle nipples for different ages--a smaller flow (size of hole) for smaller babies, and a larger flow for older babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can adjust quite a few of these factors in giving a bottle, which can make the experience similar to nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, in the book Be Prepared, by Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden, they mention bottle feeding being a way for the non-nursing partner to have a chance to bond in that very special, life-sustaining part of the baby's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="996" LastActivityDate="2011-05-30T01:51:20.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1698" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-30T08:12:17.537" Score="6" ViewCount="3376" Body="&lt;p&gt;With so many formulas out there, I am not sure which is the healthiest. Are there any studies that show which formulas are the best? OR what to look for in formula? Are there things that are unhealthy in formula that I should keep my eye out for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;== EDIT ==&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to clarify, im not looking for &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; formulas. Im looking for what makes formulas healthy. For example &quot;X formula contains Y and Y has been shown to be better than Z which most other formulas have&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that helps...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="398" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-21T13:51:58.730" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T13:51:58.730" Title="How do I figure out which infant formula is the healthiest?" Tags="|infant|health|formula|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1687" CreationDate="2011-05-30T08:39:01.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is slightly happier when she has a higher seat where she can see more out. With infant seats this can sometimes be achieved by buying a base that you mount permanently and snap the seat in and out of, as opposed to strapping in the seat itself. Since you don't mention what type of seat it is, it's impossible to say if this is a factor or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-05-30T08:39:01.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="28" CreationDate="2011-05-30T09:28:37.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As one of 5 I shared a room with 1 brother and a sister for many years, then as elder siblings began to leave home we all started to get our own rooms:-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion - make do with whatever space you have. If they fight and you can't solve that problem, then it may make sense to split them up, but otherwise it will depend on the space you have in your house/flat etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-05-30T09:28:37.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1683" CreationDate="2011-05-30T11:38:41.500" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason children bed wet is due to the fact that their bladders are not large enough to hold urine for 12 whole hours, so I would suggest that you give as little liquids to your child after dinner, or even better, during dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastActivityDate="2011-05-30T11:38:41.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1703" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-30T14:31:51.863" Score="18" ViewCount="20114" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a new baby (almost two weeks old). For the past 8-9 days she's had a habit of Breastfeeding every hour during the afternoons. She can spend 30mins feeding, then 30mins active and gurgling, then start crying for more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we've heard of cluster feeding and how its supposed to increase the milk supply but that seems to infer that the cluster feeding will stop after a short time, this isn't stopping. It seems to just be a body clock thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't be so concerned but we also have a four year old and when I go back to work I can't see any physical way my wife will be able to spend so much time feeding. Bottom line is she'll end up bottle feeding (and feeling guilty about it) just to get everything done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you think of any way to alter the baby's feeding habits and so avoid bottle feeding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1000" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:15:11.810" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T19:56:44.213" Title="How can we make our newborn breastfeed less frequently?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2011-05-30T15:14:08.317" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's probably into the first growth spurt already and as such is hungry all the time.  It is, unfortunately harder on Mom if she's got a toddler around that also needs attention.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to keep up the feedings on demand as they are now; chances are they WILL taper off somewhat if it is a growth spurt.  Otherwise, she might be nursing for comfort as well; has your wife considered wearing a sling so she can keep the baby with her while she does things around the house, etc?  I hate to recommend a pacifier so soon because you don't want the baby getting nipple confusion, but that might keep her occupied for a bit so your wife can do other things around he house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-05-30T15:14:08.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2011-05-30T15:34:39.320" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is the baby's first growth spurt. Major growth spurts occur at 2, 3, and 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months. They can last a little more than week (such as in your case). If a two week old baby is demanding the boob, it probably needs it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are babies who have trouble nursing and will keep on wanting the boob in attempt to get milk out. It IS possible that your baby has has a tongue-tie, which is making it difficult for him to get enough milk. Is your baby gaining enough weight? Does he/she have enough wet diapers? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is just the baby needing a lot of breast feeding, and your wife is unable to manage the four year old and the newborn (quite a challenge, really), she can try pumping. It can be a little less strenuous, especially when you will be there to help in the evenings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There really isn't a way to alter a two week old baby's &lt;code&gt;eating habits&lt;/code&gt; - it's not a habit, it's a need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-05-30T15:34:39.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1698" CreationDate="2011-05-30T23:52:50.820" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife researched the various formulas available using the internet, and we asked several pediatricians, and formula choice really comes down to price and preference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are international standards that govern the nutritional value of infant formulas, so the reality is that there is not much of a difference between brands, as far as nutrition goes. After double checking with 2 pediatricians, we switched to a generic formula powder, and we've had absolutely no problem with nutrition (our baby eats the recommended amount of formula, supplemented with the recommended amount of solid foods, and he's in the 97th percentile for both height and weight).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've found that there is a bit of variation in how the dry formulas mix, however, as some are quite lumpy for the first 5-10 minutes after you mix them, which can cause the bottles to clog quite easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note, however, that this is only for regular formula.  Many babies have special medical needs that necessitate specific formula types (soy-based, sensitive stomach, etc.) so your pediatrician will be your best resource should any special formula needs be identified.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-05-30T23:52:50.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2011-05-31T00:31:30.513" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very normal. As a mother who breast feeds my child does this as well, it is called cluster feeding. Although it can be very frustrating there really isn't much you can do about it. Usually once babies come out of the &quot;newborn&quot; stage, the cluster feedings stop. Although once in a while they can pop up when the infant is going through a growth spurt. My infant stopped cluster feeding around 4-6 weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Cluster feeding, also called bunch&#xA;  feeding, is when babies space feeding&#xA;  closer together at certain times of&#xA;  the day and go longer between feedings&#xA;  at other times. This is very common,&#xA;  and often occurs in the evenings. It's&#xA;  often -but not always- followed by a&#xA;  longer sleep period than usual: baby&#xA;  may be &quot;tanking up&quot; before a long&#xA;  sleep. For example, your baby may&#xA;  nurse every hour (or even constantly)&#xA;  between 6 and 10 PM, then have a&#xA;  longish stretch of sleep at night -&#xA;  baby may even sleep all night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Cluster feeding often coincides with&#xA;  your baby's fussy time. Baby will&#xA;  nurse a few minutes, pull off,&#xA;  fuss/cry, nurse a few minutes, pull&#xA;  off, fuss/cry... on and on... for&#xA;  hours. This can be VERY frustrating,&#xA;  and mom starts wondering if baby is&#xA;  getting enough milk, if something she&#xA;  is eating is bothering baby, if&#xA;  EVERYTHING she is doing is bothering&#xA;  baby... It can really ruin your&#xA;  confidence, particularly if there is&#xA;  someone else around asking the same&#xA;  questions (your mother, your husband,&#xA;  your mother-in-law).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This behavior is NORMAL!    It has&#xA;  nothing to do with your breastmilk or&#xA;  your mothering. If baby is happy the&#xA;  rest of the day, and baby doesn't seem&#xA;  to be in pain (as with colic) during&#xA;  the fussy time - just keep trying to&#xA;  soothe your baby and don't beat&#xA;  yourself up about the cause. Let baby&#xA;  nurse as long and as often as he will.&#xA;  Recruit dad (or another helper) to&#xA;  bring you food/drink and fetch things&#xA;  (book/remote/phone/etc.) while you are&#xA;  nursing and holding baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussy-evening.html&quot;&gt;http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussy-evening.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="398" LastActivityDate="2011-05-31T00:31:30.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1709" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1730" CreationDate="2011-05-31T16:32:49.500" Score="3" ViewCount="9179" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three-year-old son is starting a summer camp, and we need to pack him a lunch. He loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (PB&amp;amp;J), so we were all set for that to be a staple of his summer lunch diet, but unfortunately another child in the camp has a peanut allergy.  So, PB&amp;amp;J is off the table (so to speak).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering if there's some close substitute for peanut butter that would still work well in a sandwich with jelly, but is safe for those with allergies.  (Analogous to soy milk for those who're lactose intolerant, I suppose.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="417" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-26T13:47:11.363" LastActivityDate="2016-10-10T20:24:33.227" Title="What are allergy-friendly alternatives to peanut butter?" Tags="|pre-schooler|food|allergies|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1709" CreationDate="2011-05-31T16:41:34.820" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends on the kinds of foods your child likes, these days at least in the US pretty much most schools say don't even bother sending in anything with Peanuts - nut allergies seem to be on the increase.  Some options we give to our kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Honey and Banana sandwiches&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maki Rolls, my wife makes vegetable maki rolls for the kids, one of them loves roasted eel and gets that sometimes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bread Rolls, we buy some from the asian bakeries that have fillings, they do hot dog rolls too&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your kids don't mind cooled hot dogs, you could wrap them in biscuit dough or something similar and send them off&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hot foods in a thermos, well not hot burning, but warm so they'll still eat it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never seen a good enough peanut substitute since anything similar, like Almond Butter, still sort of falls under the no nut rule some schools institute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-05-31T16:41:34.820" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1711" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16484" CreationDate="2011-05-31T17:31:14.960" Score="9" ViewCount="5719" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14-month old daughter is no longer breastfeeding, and sleeps happily in her bed, although it is still in our room. But she wakes up around three times at night, and as far as we can determine it's because she is hungry. A bottle of milk formula is a necessity to get her to sleep again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried getting her used to not eating by making the formula slowly weaker, but that just means she wakes up quicker after each bottle. We do try as hard as we can to make her eat as much as possible during the daytime (especially just before going to bed), and she seems to eat a reasonable amount of food during the day, so now I'm at a loss at going forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideas? Anyone who has had similar experiences and was able to solve it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2013-01-10T19:11:07.113" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T12:36:01.730" Title="How do we help our toddler to sleep through the night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|eating|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1711" CreationDate="2011-05-31T18:05:29.823" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Move her into her own room.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 8 months of age, our daughter was in our room and still breastfeeding. She would wake up 2-3 times a night, from what we could tell was hunger. (She'd eat and then go back to sleep.) We are fairly quiet sleepers and don't really move around our bed so much, so it wasn't like we were making noises which would wake her up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had to start work again, and a disturbed sleep wasn't going to be good. We solicited advice and were told that moving her into her own room would probably get her to sleep through the night. I didn't really want to do that because I don't believe in crying-it-out and was afraid that now I just have to go to another room to go feed her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But alas, we moved her out. The first night, she slept 11 hours without waking up. Not even a squeak. Now two months later, she still sleeps in her own room, about 8-10 hours continously. She tosses and turns in her room sometimes, but keeps sleeping. She doesn't cry. She doesn't yearn for food. If she is in our room, she just tends to wake up more and gets distracted by us and wants to be snuggled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, based purely on experience, I'll highly recommend moving her into her own room. If she makes a sound or two, don't run to her. Wait about a minute before you let her see you / walk into her room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: In terms of food, we feed her dinner about 30-40 minutes before bed. She wakes up quite hungry in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-05-31T18:05:29.823" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-05-31T18:44:47.597" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;One note about expectations. There are places and times where we can expect toddlers to behave.  Dad has to go to the grocery store. But there are places/events where it is unreasonable to expect a toddler to behave. The kid isn't going to behave through the 3 hours wedding reception. &lt;strong&gt;Don't&lt;/strong&gt; put the kid in situations where failure is likely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Why on earth parents bring toddlers to adult restaurants and adult events and then blame the toddler when it doesn't work is beyond me.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as PREVENTING the tantrum, I completely agree that being aware of sleep/nap/play/eat schedules and behavioral triggers is important. If the kid is usually sleeping at 2pm, Wal*Mart is going to be tough. When you are pushing the envelope, a preventative, encouraging reward can be very effective. &#xA;--&gt; &quot;I know you are getting tired. If you behave in the store, {blah} after your nap.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;DURING the tantrum, there are really two goals that the parent has to keep in mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;End the behavior NOW.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prevent the behavior from recurring. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of the responses discussed (distract, give them something, etc.) may end the behavior NOW, but will have the likely (unintended?) consequence of encouraging it again.  Toddlers learn amazingly fast, and one thing they learn is how to get Mommy and Daddy to give them what they want. The tantrum needs to be ended in a way that doesn't reinforce the behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following worked well with my strong-willed (now 18) daughter through the toddler years, when she was acting out.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;1- A small bit of discomfort .. a Vulcan pinch to the shoulder flesh or a single slap to the forearm or thigh.  This doesn't so much cause pain as it breaks the tantrum cycle. It only takes a second for the kid to stop.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2- Then a choice .. &quot;stop screaming or {blah}&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;3- If the kid calls your bluff, {blah}.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;NOTE about the discomfort: I am &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; encouraging &quot;violence&quot;. Don't give pain out of anger. But the tantrum/shouting/screaming cycle has to be broken. If the kid is screaming or crying or shouting, noise won't work, and you certainly don't want to get into a shouting match with your kid. A slight bit of pain is exceptionally effective at interrupting the tantrum.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2011-08-12T23:19:02.873" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T23:19:02.873" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1711" CreationDate="2011-05-31T19:20:13.880" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First you get her on a schedule, then you adjust the schedule to fit your needs.  At bedtime you want to try to feed her a little bit more than she drinks during the day, so she can go longer between.  In my experience, the easiest way for parents and baby to get on a schedule is to set your alarm clock to wake up a half hour or so &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; your daughter typically wakes up hungry.  Just like we usually don't wait until we're ravenous to eat, babies are usually happier eating before they're hungry enough to cry about it.  It's a lot less traumatic and she might not even wake up completely, which helps inculcate the idea that night time is for sleeping.  That might also mean she eats less and might need to be fed a little more often at first, but then when she is accustomed to not having to wake up to demand being fed at night, you can slowly adjust the interval longer and longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FYI, you should &lt;a href=&quot;http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/28030635/ns/today-today_health/t/watered-down-formula-poses-risks-babies/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;never dilute baby formula&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-31T19:20:13.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1711" CreationDate="2011-05-31T19:56:45.003" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is well put by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1711/help-with-getting-my-toddler-to-sleep-through-the-night/1712#1712&quot;&gt;Swati&lt;/a&gt; .. get the kid into her own room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second is to adjust the feeding schedule, making the last feeding a big one shortly before bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T04:15:15.867" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1716" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-31T20:00:12.477" Score="9" ViewCount="2857" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our boy is a few months away from his 4th birthday... but he still puts darn near everything in his mouth. We are constantly talking to him about what should and should not go in his mouth, only food and your toothbrush... not toys, not sticks, not random junk you picked up off the floor, not napkins, etc. But it seems to just go in one ear and out the other. Even though he's told me he understands, and has sat there and told me &quot;not in mouth&quot; for various things, he still does it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's well past teething; they're all in. (Our dentist has even taken an x-ray to confirm that in the front since he's only got 3 front incisors.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does not appear to be hunger related. He routinely eats a good breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack and dinner. There doesn't seem to be a difference between days that he eats at day care and days that he eats with us; they report that he usually eats his whole meal, sometimes asking for more... pretty much the same thing we see. On several occasions when he's been seen chewing on toys, he has had the partial remains of a meal sitting on the table that he walked away from saying he was done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When should we start to get worried? Any other suggestions for helping him stop this? (Aside from the choking concerns, the cleanliness/disease issues, and the various bad things that could happen to his GI tract if he swallowed something he shouldn't... there's some concern about what he's doing to his teeth... daycare just called and informed us he's had a piece of random blue pastic stuck between his front teeth for a while before they managed to get it out.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-29T12:23:40.560" LastActivityDate="2019-08-29T12:23:40.560" Title="When should a small child get out of the oral fascination?" Tags="|pre-schooler|safety|age-appropriate|teeth|mouthing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="520" CreationDate="2011-05-31T21:03:57.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had some &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; bad experiences with stroller shopping that were somewhat different from what other people have posted, so I'd like to point out a few things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Price is not how you shop for strollers. Our first single-kid stroller was $400 for a &quot;Travel Solution&quot; that included the stroller and infant car seat. It was a rebranded Graco that was sold under the Eddie Bauer trademark, and the stroller became utterly unusable in less than a year. Our current &lt;em&gt;double&lt;/em&gt; stroller cost about $600 and you can do anything to it short of smash it with a 20 lb sledgehammer and it will still keep going.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Buying several dirt-cheap strollers (as they inevitably fall apart in short order, and their quality even while new is horrid) is a sure way to drive yourself mad, and it's bad for the environment as well. Been there, done that, do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; do this. You will need a stroller for about 4 years per child. Durability &lt;em&gt;matters&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you drive a lot, or do you take public transportation a lot? If the latter is true, then you need a stroller that fits on buses and streetcars, and one that is considerably more durable than most, because it will see far greater use. If you drive a lot, more than likely you'll use it most in parking lots, shopping malls, and maybe the occasional park. And it probably won't see a lot of heavy use.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I would highly recommend going to a specialty store that caters only to quality baby needs. (For those in North America, &quot;Babies 'R Us&quot; does not qualify - they're more a low-end department store for kids' stuff) Regardless of your needs and budget, they're better informed and care more about giving you what you need. We've had much better success going this route than any other, but the problem is that these stores are harder to find and aren't as well known to non-parents. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In my humble opinion, three wheels are better than four. They're far more manoeverable, and a lot of four-wheel strollers are built that way &quot;because that's how it's always been done&quot;. Or maybe because it's cheaper that way. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you make the right buying decision, you should only ever have to buy one or two strollers (it helps to have a MacLeran umbrella stroller sometimes). This should never be something you consider &quot;disposable&quot;. If the stroller lasts longer than your kids' need for it, then that's what Craigslist is for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking of which, that might be a good place to start shopping once you've found what you're looking for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-05-31T21:03:57.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1718" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-05-31T21:10:02.807" Score="15" ViewCount="15471" Body="&lt;p&gt;So I just came back to work after a long discussion with our 4-year-old. He complains (more to the effect, he had a meltdown) that he doesn't like our nanny, and would prefer to have our neighbour watch after him instead. It's not like she's behaving inappropriately or abusing him in any way, he just doesn't like her as much as the neighbour. He, on the other hand, generally behaves poorly with temper tantrums, bad manners, and throwing things at her (not constantly, just once a day or thereabouts, and she disciplines him appropriately).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, we've had better daycare providers in the past, but my wife says the problem isn't with her, it's with our son, and he'll get over it eventually. She has prior experience as a full-time nanny, and we both like her (in fact, she's a friend of ours), and we don't really have too much of a problem with the way she cares for the kids. It seems to just come down to a personality conflict. Our second son is only 14 months old, but he goes into a fit every time we leave him with her as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do we do in this situation? Look for another daycare provider, or stick it out and hope things just get better somehow?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-29T12:25:44.647" LastActivityDate="2019-08-29T12:25:44.647" Title="What do we do if our children don't like the nanny?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|babysitting|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1716" CreationDate="2011-05-31T22:24:28.223" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might consider consulting with a speech therapist.  They deal with all sorts of sensory issues with the mouth, not just speech.  Other than that, my only thought is that kids that age have a hard time just being told no.  If I tell my 4 year-old to stop something, he just stands there not knowing what to do.  You have to provide them an alternate strategy, maybe something safe to chew instead, like sugarless gum, although the thought of a boy that age with a regular supply of chewing gum is scary in itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-05-31T22:24:28.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1716" CreationDate="2011-06-01T01:04:08.517" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this is an outside chance, but any chance this could be to do with his eating patterns? Maybe he's getting hungrier at different times of the day to the rest of the family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does your childcare provide healthy snack times between meals?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he eat properly at meal times and does he eat well during breakfast?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T01:04:08.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1718" CreationDate="2011-06-01T01:14:33.147" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it's a full-time nanny I'm assuming it's inside your own home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to understand your home also belongs to your child and although in the real world we have to deal with all sorts of people we don't like to be around people we don't like in our own home. This can be a significant cause of stress and a reason that your child is reacting so aggressively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you know how the nanny handles your children when you are not there? It's easier at a daycare / childcare center where there are more sets of eyes. If your child is not being dealt with well during the day this may lead to an explosion when you walk in the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children can't express their frustration the same as adults so they act out. Try and give your child a chance to explain why he doesn't like the nanny and don't just listen and say that's that. Make sure you let him know that you want to know why he is not happy and will consider. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also explain to him that it is necessary to have someone care for him and he can't just dislike everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always ask my son to provide reasons why he doesn't want to do something or doesn't like it, to justify his dislike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember in the end, it's also his home and it's very important for him to have a space where he can say to whoever he likes to back-off. If he actually has a decent reason why he doesn't like the person I would be taking his side and finding someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T01:14:33.147" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1570" CreationDate="2011-06-01T01:38:37.923" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some things we do with our 4 year old:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we are shopping with my son and he is going to get something we ask him to take the item and the money to the teller / cashier himself. In this way he can see how the transaction involves money being spent and it doesn't come back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same as Ethel mentions in her answer, we explain that money is earned through his parents going to work. We also explain that we are given a limited amount of money for our work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever we need to pay for something expensive we also mention to our son that what we are paying for is expensive e.g. if we need to pay our electricity online. We do this without trying to be negative, it's not to make him feel guilt, but to get an understanding that some things require more money than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also explain to him when we are shopping that we can't waste money by buying lots of special things at once (we can't have a shopping trolley full of chocolate and ice cream) because money is valuable and can't be squandered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children can understand complex ideas by piecing together little pieces of information. So it's not about trying to explain hundreds of details, but planting lots of little ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T01:38:37.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2011-06-01T03:30:04.630" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why do you assume that TV is a given?  My wife &amp;amp; I don't own one (well, except for the retro TV I use as a monitor for my Atari 2600).  When we were growing up, neither of us had a TV in the home until we were older than 10.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to junk your TV, &amp;amp; see how you get along without it.  Bored?  Learn to play an instrument, read a book, build a cool project, cook some delicious food, brew some beer or mead, paint, draw, sing, ... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ditched TV as a form of entertainment three years ago, and haven't regretted it for a moment.  It's jarring to walk into someone else's home &amp;amp; hear the TV blaring out content that seems to be either crap, advertising, or some unholy combination of the two.  It's shocking to see just how bad most of the content is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO, you'd be doing your children a serious favour by teaching them, by example, how one can survive without TV in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/em&gt; check out these &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/med_tel_vie-media-television-viewing&quot;&gt;Television viewing statistics&lt;/a&gt;. People in the US and UK will spend nearly a quarter of their waking lives watching TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So to put it another way: if someone told you your kids could live 25% longer lives, at the cost of never watching TV, what would you choose?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1005" LastEditorUserId="1005" LastEditDate="2011-06-01T03:38:48.190" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T03:38:48.190" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2011-06-01T04:02:32.473" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This will pass, a two week old baby's feeding habits are no where like that of even a 6 week old baby's feeding habits. Growth spurts (also known as 'freqency days') occur at around 2 weeks, 4 weeks, and 6 weeks, but even then, it's the first growth spurt that is the hardest on mom (and dad, and siblings). Continue to offer the breast whenever baby shows hunger cues, but also use 'breast compresstion' squeezing the breast slightly when baby's suck-suck-swallow pattern slows down. This will increase the flow of milk, and give baby more milk per breast, and keep her interested as the fatty hind-milk comes (often, as the milk flow slows down a bit, baby either comes off the breast due to a lack of flow, or can fall asleep on the breast). Look up Jack Newman's site for help with breast compression techniqe. Also, if your wife is feeling really exhausted, look for some good help; an IBCLC (board certified lactation consultant) or a La Leche League leader will often come to the house to make sure baby is latching well, and getting as much milk as possible during each feeding. Remember, this will pass, unless baby is not pooping and peeing as much as it should be right now, baby is getting enough milk, just taking long to do so. Supplementing with formula will definately add to your wife's frustrations, since evey ounce of formula baby drinks will tell her body to make less milk for baby through this growoth spurt. Good luck, and continue supporting your wife (and giving extra love to your toddler)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1006" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T04:02:32.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1711" CreationDate="2011-06-01T05:06:14.770" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar situation with my 14 month old, and it was definately a sleep association rather than actual hunger (although it was with the breast, rather than a bottle). After figuring out it was a sleep assocaition, we just cut off 1 feed per few weeks or so (ie. first wake of the night we did not offer milk), and offered comfort instead (cuddles from Dad). Although she did not really like this (she cried, said 'no' asked for mom etc), eventually, she stopped waking for that first feed. When that happened for several nights/a few weeks, we would cut out the next feed, until she was eventually night weaned. This did take some time but it was less intrusive then other methods we've seen, and involved only minimal crying (and no crying alone). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1006" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T05:06:14.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1693" CreationDate="2011-06-01T05:21:39.390" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nipple confusion (also known as nipple preference) is very real. It can go either way, first baby was bottle fed almost from birth, and definately preferred the flow of the bottle compared with the 'effort' needed with a breast. (No matter how 'real to life' a bottle is, fact is milk will always drip out weather baby sucks or not, not so during the duration of breastfeeding - though during letdowns milk can actually spray out of the breast). My second child would not take a bottle if her life depended on it. (Okay, maybe if her life really depended on it, but it never got that far!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would check out Jack Newman's (canada's breasfeeding expert) site to find out more info &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&amp;amp;view=article&amp;amp;id=27%3Amyths-of-breastfeeding&amp;amp;catid=5%3Ainformation&amp;amp;Itemid=17&amp;amp;limitstart=3&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&amp;amp;view=article&amp;amp;id=27%3Amyths-of-breastfeeding&amp;amp;catid=5%3Ainformation&amp;amp;Itemid=17&amp;amp;limitstart=3&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've excerpted a line about nipple confusion below from the above link;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no such thing as nipple confusion. Not true! The baby is not confused, though, the baby knows exactly what he wants. A baby who is getting slow flow from the breast and then gets rapid flow from a bottle will figure that one out pretty quickly. A baby who has had only the breast for three or four months is unlikely to take the bottle. Some babies prefer the right or left breast to the other. Bottle fed babies often prefer one artificial nipple to another. So there is such a thing as preferring one nipple to another. The only question is how quickly it can occur. Given the right set of circumstances, the preference can occur after one or two bottles. The baby having difficulties latching on may never have had an artificial nipple, but the introduction of an artificial nipple rarely improves the situation, and often makes it much worse. Note that many who say there is no such thing as nipple confusion also advise the mother to start a bottle early so that the baby will not refuse it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because it is real however, doesn't mean it will definately happen to your baby, but it may, even with only one bottle per week. It's an issue of deciding if this possible problem is big enough to worry about, or if the one bottle a week is worth it knowing this possible problem does exist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1006" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T05:21:39.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="238" CreationDate="2011-06-01T05:31:53.683" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;When the children are uncomfortable with it. They will let you know when they don't want to bathe with their sibling anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why should noticing something is different be a problem? If your child noticed her sibling had different color hair on his head, would you put a hat over it to hide it? &#xA;A girl can know a penis is different from a vagina, (and vice versa) long before she's uncomfortable seeing one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1006" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T05:31:53.683" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1709" CreationDate="2011-06-01T05:37:41.563" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is also non-nut butters avaialable, like pea butter or soy butter (both made from lentils). This usually works fine, except when caregivers assume it's peanut butter because it looks similar - so you may have to label it to be on the safe side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you could try banana and honey sandwiches, or egg salad to get some protien, or tuna salad (not quite as easy but still quick and less likely to fall apart then meat with lettuce). Also grilled cheese (which will cool in the bag) is still yummy hours after making it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;happy lunching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1006" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T05:37:41.563" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-01T05:46:35.297" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bribery&lt;/strong&gt; (incentives, payment for performance, rewards for obedience) &lt;strong&gt;destroys intrinsic motivation&lt;/strong&gt; in children (&lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; adults).  It can gain temporary cooperation, but it fails in the long run as your child will ultimately expect some incentive to do anything.  To become dependent on external motivations is an awful psychological result that you certainly do not want for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.alfiekohn.org/up/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Unconditional Parenting&lt;/a&gt; (Alfie Kohn) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Punished By Rewards&lt;/a&gt; (Alfie Kohn) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://%20www.nurtureshock.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NutureShock&lt;/a&gt; (Po Bronson &amp;amp; Ashley Merriman) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.danpink.com/drive&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Drive&lt;/a&gt; (Daniel Pink) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These authors have summarized a lot of scientific studies in human and child psychology and basically annihilate the pervasive modern parenting paradigm of rewards and praise (and/or the withholding of the same).  That kind of parenting is called &quot;behaviourism&quot; and is based on studies of rats, dogs and chimps.  According to the science, behavioural parenting can get you some level of obedience (mostly in the short term), but it has a lot of potential for damaging your relationship with your child and your child's character.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although it is much easier to follow some variation of reward/punishment parenting strategy to try to obtain obedience from your children (and I fall back into it all the time, even knowing how crappy it is), the best way to parent is to treat your kid like a person.  Use reasoning, talk it out, work it out, brainstorm together, work together.  Even with a 2-year-old (OK, things do break down when she starts screaming and punching...)  This teaches the child how to handle conflict.  When you do resort to rewards or punishments, realize that it is not good parenting, apologize for it, and try to do better next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1007" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T10:24:46.430" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T10:24:46.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1653" CreationDate="2011-06-01T07:03:59.563" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We travel long haul a lot with our kids, and flew to the States (Miami and onto Key West) with a 6 month old.  Advice would be to make sure you book the front row of seats, as there is always a 'stage' for a 'moses basket' to be situated.  It's a god send as it allows the baby an area of comfort to sleep, which at 5-7 months, is pretty much what they wanted to do; you dont need to keeop them in your lap.  We fed the baby on the way up and way down (breast fed) which wasn't an issue, as they are strapped to you anyway.  If you're not breastfeeding, I am sure a bottle would be allowed, but that might vary airline to airline.  If the kids are older, just make sure you have plenty to keep them active, as it's boredom which causes issues.  I downloaded about 80gb's worth of films on an Archos pmp, Dora etc for one of them, and that kept her occupied for large swathes of the flight.  But it is also important to engage with them, they don't like to keep still for 10 hours, I am not too sure many people are, but if you keep them occupied, talk to them, play with them, it's not all that bad to be frank.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 4 hour flight to Lapland, with 200 other kids on board, was a different matter; 200 children full of sugar and excitement at meeting Santa being urged to shout, scream and sing about how excited they were still wakes me in the wee hours with a start, and not a little sweat on my brow...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T07:03:59.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1670" CreationDate="2011-06-01T07:30:05.093" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your little one is wakeful when you think he should be sleeping.  It takes a while for a newborn to adjust to the day and night cycles that we take for granted, but over time your child will sleep for longer stretches at night, until he is sleeping through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to help your child to adjust to day/night cycles, you can try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bright light and fresh air in the morning (go for a walk maybe?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lots of interaction and stimulation during awake times during the daytime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dark, quiet and calm during waking/feeding/diaper changing times at night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some babies start sleeping through the night at 3 months, 70% of babies sleep through the night by 9 months, and others can take a year or more.  (http://www.babycenter.com/408_when-can-my-baby-start-sleeping-through-the-night_1368534.bc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is some good info here:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-sleep-requirements.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-sleep-requirements.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1007" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T07:30:05.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1716" CreationDate="2011-06-01T11:16:55.627" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's probably just due to habit. Your child may have more difficulty of getting rid of habits, and the putting things in his mouth is probably not deliberate, just a habit, like the way someone would tattoo on the table, or a special way of sitting, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to help him out of this habit by developing another habit, and that is to keep his hands at his side when not doing anything. This is a good habit for children to form because it keeps their limbs from knocking things around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T11:16:55.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1709" CreationDate="2011-06-01T16:42:39.747" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's camp is the same way.  A friend recommended &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.soynutbutter.com/Section/Shop/Peanut_Butter_Substitute/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SoyNut Butter&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't tried it yet, but so far no peanut butter substitute has been palatable to him.  We'll probably try this one, but I don't have high hopes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For nut free lunches, we've opted for cold cuts mainly.  You could also try cream cheese and jelly, or just jelly, although that's not a super healthy or filling option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="765" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-28T14:58:02.940" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T14:58:02.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1709" CreationDate="2011-06-01T16:54:42.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Humous makes for an awesome sandwich spread. If he likes veggies you can make all sorts of interesting combos... humous and sprouts, humous and zucchini slices, etc. Try also with raisins or crasins (I'm not sure how far around the world those have spread yet, they're raisins made from cranberries... very awesome, though sometimes over-sugared.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is a cheese sandwich or quesadilla, grilled or melted ahead of time. Even cold those tend to be quite nice, combined with a small thermos of tomato soup to dip them in and you can almost ignore them being cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T16:54:42.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1718" CreationDate="2011-06-01T21:15:34.430" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest you spend some time and see how they interact. Your 4yo may have a point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a number of nannies for our son over an 18 month period. Some were great and really loved kids and totally got that the job is all about being there 100% for the child and being involved with them. Others, not so much. One would arrive at our house, turn on the TV for our son and fire up her laptop - she though her job was simply to stop the kid from complaining. Based upon my experience (seeings 100s of CVs, doing 10s of interviews) nannying seems to be the fill-in job of choice for many young women, few treat it like a career. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One common feature was that they all just viewed the position as a job - there was little or no emotional investment and they'd quit and move on without a second thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was pretty robust and got on well with most of the nannies but our daughter (8 yo) actively disliked several of them. Most of her issue was simply that the nanny was not us and did not like taking directions from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, we got our son into a local childcare centre. We had had enough with nannies and our son was craving the attention of other children and he is much happier now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T21:15:34.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1683" CreationDate="2011-06-01T22:39:51.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Aside from limiting liquid consumption to at least an hour before bedtime and using the toilet immediately before going to bed, one thing you may consider trying is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wake your child up one hour &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; she goes to bed to let her go to the bathroom (and then back to bed)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wake your child up one hour &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; she usually gets up to go to the bathroom (and then back to bed)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2011-06-01T22:39:51.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1739" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1741" CreationDate="2011-06-02T00:05:14.630" Score="8" ViewCount="14529" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, 9yo, is starting to be exposed to fractions at school. I've tried to help her out with basic fraction arithmetic but don't seem to be getting too far. I've spoken to her teacher who has basically told me not to get involved, her teacher is like that. My daughter is otherwise very smart so am I pushing for too much at her age for her to be able to work out things like 2/3 x 3/7?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Followup:&#xA;I continued teaching my daughter fractions and decimals which had two consequences: she is now in the top maths group which is taught by a different teacher, but now she is &quot;the dumb kid&quot; in a group a smart kids. We shall persevere....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2011-06-28T18:55:15.153" LastActivityDate="2017-12-14T17:08:38.243" Title="When do kids start learning fractions in school?" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1740" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1745" CreationDate="2011-06-02T02:28:20.070" Score="15" ViewCount="2115" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nine year old nephew told his (single) mother tonight that he wants to kill himself. What would prompt that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;backstory:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His father is ... upstate ... for a little while longer, and they do have regular face time with him, as often as they may. He and his mother at times get a little heated with each other, but by and large they get along well. I'm generally the closest thing he has to a positive male role model, but I don't get to see him near as often as would probably be best for him. He's going to spend some time with my wife tomorrow (that was already planned before this evening).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't have a history of that sort of attitude in general, and altho he's had a few bouts of anger in the past, by and large he's a pretty well adjusted little kid. He's incredibly gifted for his age, compared to his peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what was going on between them tonight, I just heard from her what he said, and she didn't want to talk about it too much, he was probably in the same room. I'm sure I'll see him at lunchtime tomorrow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do nine year olds ever talk like that as a way of pushing their boundaries? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I had the chance to sit down with him and ask him why he said that, which was probably the wrong way to approach it, but never-the-less, what his own admission was after-the-fact was that he was pretty well just doing it for attention. We then had a short chat about how that's about the worst possible way to get attention, and we discussed the story of the boy who cried wolf, again, and I re-affirmed with him that if he ever felt like that, he could always talk to me about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was some other conversation about kids and bullying tactics (name calling, picking on, general young boy activities) and so ... yeah.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life goes on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="233" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:27:38.693" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T20:27:38.693" Title="Why would a primary-schooler want to kill himself?" Tags="|single-parent|gifted|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1739" CreationDate="2011-06-02T03:05:09.607" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you're pushing for it too much at all. If the teacher has said &quot;don't get involved&quot; I would try taking that up with someone higher. I for one welcome parents who get involved in their kids academic lives.  My nephew is 9 and he's doing fractions, he even came to me about six or seven weeks before his teacher first broached the topic in class, and I had him doing basic fractions before the class ever learned about /2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, getting her to understand two thirds of three sevenths might be a tad complicated, but then again, I only say that because I know so many adults who don't understand that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="233" LastActivityDate="2011-06-02T03:05:09.607" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1670" CreationDate="2011-06-02T04:25:49.897" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember that it's not just the baby developing here: you and your wife are also learning about what parenting involves. As much book reading as you do, like anything else it takes practice to develop good habits and knowledge. So the time you spend now talking to your baby, listening and responding to him, touching him, reading to him, etc. helps &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; develop, too. It builds habits of behavior and patience in you that you'll continue to use for years, honestly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1013" LastActivityDate="2011-06-02T04:25:49.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1739" CreationDate="2011-06-02T06:33:54.047" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say that your daughter is very smart. I assume it means that in previous math topics she didn't have any problem. I would give the teacher some credit. When I hear &quot;don't get involved&quot;, I see it as the teacher saying &quot;let the child advance in his own pace&quot;. Furthermore, probably the teacher is teaching them in a certain method, and it might take them some time to reach the 2/3 x 3/7. This is definitely not one of the first things children learn in fractions. Sometimes they need longer exposure to an idea before it clicks and they just get it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Of course, if your daughter is frustrated with being unable to do it, you could ask her teacher in what way you can help her in dealing with this.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I personally feel that we tend to outguess teachers too much, and give them little credit that they know what they're doing. If the same teacher was able to teach them other topics, I would give her some time.&#xA;Still, you being involved is a good thing, and you should monitor the progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="104" LastActivityDate="2011-06-02T06:33:54.047" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1739" CreationDate="2011-06-02T08:19:25.133" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am of the opinion that if your child wants to learn you should give them all the support they need - most schools aren't set up to provide individually tailored tuition but to teach the group at a level somewhere in the middle between the slowest and the fastest learners. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school my kids go to also seems to have a policy of 'don't get involved' however I started teaching my eldest fractions at 6 years old because he was ready. At 10 he is now understanding basic calculus - the school isn't set up to teach that so he would be missing out if I left it up to the teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-06-02T08:19:25.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1740" CreationDate="2011-06-02T11:07:59.767" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;It &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; concerning that he said that, but it may or may not actually mean that he's depressed, let alone suicidal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's safe to assume that your nephew is really bothered by &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt;.  How bothered isn't really clear at this point.  Talk to him, but &lt;em&gt;do not&lt;/em&gt; make a big deal about the suicide comment -- doing so could increase his tendency toward self-harm by teaching him that that sort of thing is a reasonable attention-getting tactic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I saw a lot of kids in your nephew's situation when I volunteered at a local counseling center, and they are all different.  Since I don't know your nephew well enough to offer specific advice, I'll share some general thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids need stability above all else.  Change, even good change, can be stressful.  Having people and places and routines he can depend on without question can go a long way to helping a child in this kind of situation cope.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;By age 9, a child can easily tell when their parent is stressed about something, but they may not know what to do about it.  Often it's easier for them to talk to someone outside the household because they aren't worried about adding to the stress level at home (theirs or their parent's).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If a child only or mostly gets attention from self-harm, misbehavior, etc. he will grow up believing that those are the &quot;right&quot; patterns, and generally adopt a victim's mindset.  Certainly problems need solutions, but bad attention is still (in a kid's head) better than no attention, so reward patterns you want to see continue with more (good) attention and de-emphasize the bad.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Coping skills are just that -- learned skills.  A lot of adults take the tack that kids shouldn't see them struggle with things because they want their kids (or even nephews) to think they can handle anything.  That doesn't actually, in my experience, make kids feel more secure.  Letting him see how you attack something that is really difficult for you -- not through a story or anything else that may seem contrived to him, but actually seeing it first hand -- is a great learning experience.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Focus on the cool things about your nephew -- don't let his situation define him in your eyes, and you'll help keep it from defining him in his own view.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll get a better idea of what's going on after you've spent some time with him.  It may be a big thing, or it may not.  Time will tell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-06-02T11:07:59.767" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1746" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1747" CreationDate="2011-06-02T13:44:15.033" Score="11" ViewCount="4850" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 month old son has been sleeping throughout the night for a couple of months now without problem.  However, over the past month, we've been having a problem with diaper leakage overnight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We switched to extra-absorbent overnight diapers, and they help, but we find that if he rolls over onto his belly, the diapers still leak.  My son is at the bottom end of the weight range for the diapers (he's 23 lbs, and the diaper is for 22lb.-35lb. babies), so it isn't a matter of the diaper being too big.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since my son is rapidly becoming more mobile, it is now very common for him to wind up in a completely different position from where we leave him (usually upside down and perpendicular!).  Unfortunately, this seems to have resulted in him soaking through his diaper more.  Due to a local heat wave, we've been having the air conditioner run, however he invariably kicks the blankets off during the night.  For the past few nights he has started whimpering in his sleep around 2am, and when I check on him, I find that it is because he is cold and soaked.  Fortunately he hasn't had too much trouble falling back to sleep after he is changed, but clearly we'd like to avoid this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been feeding him a bottle right before bed, as he is always hungry by bed time.  At one point we had been giving him a larger-than-normal bottle (8oz.) in an effort to help him sleep through the night, but that made the peeing problem worse, and he doesn't wake up urgently hungry anymore, so we've switched back to his normal feeding (6oz.).  This, plus the overnight diaper, was working well up until he started rolling over during the course of the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions on how to eliminate the problem of him winding up soaking wet in the middle of the night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:25:54.060" LastActivityDate="2013-09-25T14:59:24.933" Title="How do we avoid leaky diapers at night?" Tags="|infant|sleep|bed-wetting|diaper|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1746" CreationDate="2011-06-02T16:22:14.727" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;What about an oatmeal or other type of cereal in place of half of his usual milk?  I don't see how you're going to eliminate soakage if he's so hungry before bedtime.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try something that's filling, and cut the milk he receives in half?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-02T16:22:14.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1687" CreationDate="2011-06-02T17:11:16.263" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of our daughters did this, and it wasn't just the car seat, it was strollers too.  They hated to be strapped into something.  We made sure the straps weren't hurting them in any way.  One thing our pediatrician suggested was to make sure that we didn't just feed them before putting them in a stroller or carseat because the sitting position could be uncomfortable with a full belly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My theory though, was that they just didn't want to be set down, separated from their mom.  My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and the girls were used to being around her &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; the time, and if they needed something, they could cry (0-6 months old) and mom could fix it for them - except in the car seat.  I think my girls were upset because they wanted to be held, and knew mom was sitting right by them but wouldn't pick them up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We became nearly anti-social during these periods of our girls' lives because driving anywhere with them nearly drove us insane.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day, I finally recorded my second daughter in the car.  This was a 45 minute car ride, and I am not even joking - &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/voice/fm/02024481111630173047/AHwOX_Biww-Uv0MyiYgMrUD_kOOoe2U4FmG7yJVGuN1MKcwrD0nL33Yj7Nqwc93COnqDO01FmppU8FHSaalB8l_MkslVRlXqC-oBq65Nd2mrux6J0QOrl38cN_myBJLmg-nmNmXQ5fptuEIZseE52JFuSBSgKilORw&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;she screamed like this&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;  the whole time.  We made the mistake of pulling over and trying to comfort them one time - yes, they stopped crying as soon as we had them out, but then we had to put them back in to finish our trip and the screaming was 10 times worse.  If we were going to make the trip, it was best to make it as quick as possible.  This sounds harsh, but we made sure that everything in the seat (we tried different seats too) was comfortable, they weren't in pain, etc.  I really believe they were just mad that we weren't picking them up when they cried - in fact, I even called my 3 month old daughter spoiled on one or two of these trips! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They eventually grew out of it.  Our first born still did this on occasion until she was about 14 months old (even in a front-facing carseat).  Not consistently, but when she got it in her head that she wanted out of the carseat, she would scream for the rest of the trip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess this really isn't an answer but more of a &quot;You're not the only one&quot;.  I can't help but wonder if babies who are around their moms all the time are more prone to this?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/voice/fm/02024481111630173047/AHwOX_Biww-Uv0MyiYgMrUD_kOOoe2U4FmG7yJVGuN1MKcwrD0nL33Yj7Nqwc93COnqDO01FmppU8FHSaalB8l_MkslVRlXqC-oBq65Nd2mrux6J0QOrl38cN_myBJLmg-nmNmXQ5fptuEIZseE52JFuSBSgKilORw&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;I just had to share the recording too&lt;/a&gt;, so others could agonize like I did... Just crank up the volume and put it on repeat for 45 minutes ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit December 2015&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I should add that we had a third child after I wrote this answer and he traveled in the exact same car seat as our first two children - he never screamed or even fussed.  That leads me to believe that it wasn't due to an uncomfortable carseat, but more the personalities of the our first two children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastEditorUserId="137" LastEditDate="2015-12-04T17:05:19.447" LastActivityDate="2015-12-04T17:05:19.447" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2011-06-02T18:15:35.407" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This will pass soon enough. In the meantime I would recommend that your wife relaxes her standards about what needs to be done. Four year olds are pretty capable of taking care about a lot of things themselves and in the worst case scenario there is always a TV. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also help by taking care of things: cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, etc. so your wife can concentrate on the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of slings on the market right now  which make nursing possible while doing other stuff. Not everybody feels comfortable using them but this is an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorUserId="574" LastEditDate="2011-06-02T21:29:52.390" LastActivityDate="2011-06-02T21:29:52.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1750" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1759" CreationDate="2011-06-02T21:46:36.873" Score="5" ViewCount="4298" Body="&lt;p&gt;I frequently see people around the web supporting various arguments with the following statement: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;children need stability.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any evidence for this, and more importantly can there be such a thing as too much stability? Is there any evidence that lack of change leaves children unprepared for/unable to deal with small changes? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example of a child reacting poorly to change: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a friend of mine was six years old her mother changed the plate over the light switch in the bathroom, the six year old girl was so upset about this change that she hid under the sink in the kitchen and refused to come out. To this day she gets very stressed during periods of change. Could this be genetic?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize I've just asked many questions, but they are all aspects of one:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How important is stability for children?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1016" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-27T16:27:20.557" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T16:27:20.557" Title="How important is stability / change / lack of change for children?" Tags="|behavior|development|psychology|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1751" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1758" CreationDate="2011-06-02T23:01:30.707" Score="7" ViewCount="2899" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sure this largely has to do with personality (well behaved, cautious) as it does age, but what is an appropriate age for kids to start using a push lawn mower? Or a riding mower?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="213" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:23:26.057" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T20:23:26.057" Title="When are my kids old enough to mow the lawn?" Tags="|safety|chores|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1752" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2101" CreationDate="2011-06-03T03:41:38.430" Score="5" ViewCount="7670" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our two-year-old just had her first wood sliver.  We were able to remove most of the wood with a pair of tweezers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A small amount of dark matter is still visible under the skin.  We would prefer not to have to make an incision to clean it out, and I'm sure she'd agree with us.  (She was brave, but she was just as happy to reach the end of the tweezer session as we were.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it safe to leave the remainder under the skin?  Also, any advice on helping the wound to heal, and on avoiding infection, would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1018" LastActivityDate="2015-09-26T01:38:15.420" Title="How much of a sliver can be safely left under the skin?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1750" CreationDate="2011-06-03T04:34:40.363" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your friend's case is unusual, maybe the result of something like obsessive compulsive disorder.  In general, kids are much more resilient and adaptable than adults usually give them credit for.  When you change something on them, they explore their boundaries under the new set of circumstances in an almost methodical way if you stop to observe.   This can be stressful while they figure out their boundaries and where they fit in, but once they figure it out, they are fine.  They then know how to adjust their behavior to fit the circumstances.  This takes longer for some children than others, but they eventually all get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where problems come in is when the circumstances are seemingly identical to the child, but expectations change.  If Grandma lets him raid the cookie jar freely, but Mom gets angry when she catches him, he will be confused at first, but quickly figure out he needs to add the variable of who is in charge to his mental model, and he adapts easily to the change.  However, if Mom punishes him harshly sometimes and lets it slide other times with no explanation, he has a difficult time processing it.  Likewise, a big change like moving is traumatic, but kids eventually adjust and move on with their lives.  However, if a child never knows when he will be moving again with little to no notice, he might develop some unhealthy coping strategies to try to maintain stability, like never trying to make friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, when people talk about kids needing stability, they don't mean never changing anything, they mean when the inputs the child can observe and comprehend are the same, he can depend on the outputs being the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T04:34:40.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1752" CreationDate="2011-06-03T05:13:33.417" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally know someone who had a knuckle of a finger amputated because of a splinter that became infected, so it's no trivial concern.  However, he wasn't the most hygienic fellow, and in general our bodies are pretty good about taking care of such things themselves given some basic precautions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on &lt;a href=&quot;http://firstaid.webmd.com/splinters-treatment&quot;&gt;WebMD's first aid page&lt;/a&gt;, which my doctor recommended to me, it looks like you can safely leave it in for a few days while soaking the area a couple times a day with water and baking soda to see if it works itself out.  The most important thing is to keep it clean, with alcohol and antibiotic ointment.  I personally wouldn't incise live skin, leaving that to doctors with training and good local anesthetics, but I have carefully cut into the callous that forms after a few days when the skin around a splinter dies.  See your doctor if it gets infected and you aren't able to completely clean it out at that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T05:13:33.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1751" CreationDate="2011-06-03T05:32:32.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Clearly depends on how mature the child is, not how old they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1019" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T05:32:32.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1756" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-03T05:35:58.647" Score="10" ViewCount="23535" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 years and 6 months old. He often bites his finger nails and the skins around them. They sometimes get the the point of bleeding, and his finger nails are starting to get deformed. I also bite my nails, but my partner doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried &quot;stop it&quot; (the yuck tasting nail polish) but it had no effect. He didn't seem to care. We have put plasters on them, but he just rips them off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice on how to combat this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1019" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-16T12:22:59.850" LastActivityDate="2019-05-16T12:22:59.850" Title="How do I stop my toddler from biting his fingernails?" Tags="|toddler|health|habits|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1709" CreationDate="2011-06-03T05:42:07.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sunflower seed butter!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, I was also in the &quot;what do you mean my kid can't have peanut butter&quot; camp, but no kidding, this stuff is a very reasonable substitute, I even make sandwiches with it myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T05:42:07.273" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1751" CreationDate="2011-06-03T06:27:14.887" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had to go by size and strength rather than age. Our oldest is small for her age, so she and her sister started together. I went by &quot;big enough to push the lawn mower and smart enough not to stick their hands underneath.&quot; That turned out to be 12 for the oldest and 10 1/2 for the second. Our third started when he was 10, but mainly because he wanted in on &lt;a href=&quot;http://rabidpaladin.com/post/2008/10/04/Capitalist-Experiment.aspx&quot;&gt;bidding for the job&lt;/a&gt;... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="974" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T06:27:14.887" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1750" CreationDate="2011-06-03T06:49:09.227" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children will actively explore any boundaries that you give them. This can feel like a constant battle if you let it, but I think it's mostly a way to establish certainty&amp;mdash;which I think they crave. They'll explore thier parameters, but you have to remember that they don't start off very smart. Which means that early on, they'll try a forbidden behavior because it's a different day. Or because they have on a new shirt. Or maybe Mom forgot about it. It takes constant reinforcement, but eventually, consistency pays off with better-behaved children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And while your example of hiding under the sink is extreme, they really don't take surprise changes well. Change is a part of life, though, so it's important to teach them that things change. Depending on the sensitivity of the child, a little preparation can go a long way. Involve them in changes to their environment as much as you can. Let them watch you change the light switch and tell them why you want to change it. This isn't so much about giving them control (they can be tyrants if you let them) as it is about letting them understand why things change and giving them a chance to prepare while teaching them that adapting to change is an important skill that they can learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all inconsistency is bad, though. One thing we stumbled onto early on is to leverage inconsistency in our favor. While we never give in to a fit or tantrum, once or twice, every now and then, if a child takes a &quot;no&quot; well and doesn't whine or fight, we'll countermand the negative. &quot;No, dear, I'm saving those ice cream sandwiches for later.&quot; can easily be countered fifteen minutes later with &quot;you know, you took that so well that you can have the ice cream sandwich.&quot; The child learns that they &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; change your mind with good behavior and they &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; change your mind with bad behavior. And when people ask why our kids seldom talk back or whine, we tell them it's because we're inconsistent...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="974" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T06:49:09.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1751" CreationDate="2011-06-03T08:57:05.840" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I rode my grandpas riding mower at nine or ten. The problem was more a question of not being able to actually do the job than safety at that point, meaning my grandpa had to go out and do it again to get the spots I missed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, fun, but hardly useful at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did, usefully but not enjoyably, mow my parents lawn with a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File%3aReelMower.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;manual mower&lt;/a&gt; at about the same age too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T08:57:05.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1761" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4141" CreationDate="2011-06-03T09:11:01.350" Score="14" ViewCount="6457" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bilingual and trilingual kids have a slower language development than others, so this is probably quite normal, but our 14 month old daughter talks a lot but doesn't use any words, not even for mum and dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do understand that &quot;Pappa/Daddy/Tata&quot; is complicated with three different words in the three languages, but &quot;Mommy/Mama/Mamma&quot; shouldn't be a problem. She talks a lot, but just nonsense sounds with the exception for the words &quot;Deh&quot;, &quot;Dehdeh&quot; and &quot;Gn&quot; which she uses for everything conveying meaning by pointing (there seems to be no pattern in how she uses these three words, except that she says &quot;Dehdeh&quot; very loudly and with a slight questioning tone when she wonders why mom and dad are outside of direct view.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She seems quite bright in other things, so it's just the language that trails. So &lt;strong&gt;I wonder if there is anything we can do to speed up the language development.&lt;/strong&gt; I've tried pointing and saying &quot;mamma&quot; and &quot;pappa&quot; and &quot;Elenor&quot; but she only gets that she should point, and will invariably points to herself. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(For the umpteenth time: I'm not worried that anything is wrong. I do not ask if something is wrong, or how to check if something is wrong or what to do when something is wrong).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2012-01-23T17:20:37.263" LastActivityDate="2013-10-10T11:17:49.633" Title="How can we improve a trilingual toddler's basic language development?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1761" CreationDate="2011-06-03T09:31:38.037" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Repetition, repetition, repetition.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 14 months she's still soaking up the nuances of the languages, she won't really get a good grasp on using them herself for another 4-5 months honestly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep exposing her like you're doing, use positive reinforcement - and try making it into a game.  We did this with Matthias at that age, encouraging him to interact with us while we used different languages.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband would say, &quot;Hvem er far?&quot; etc and encourage Matthias to point in response.  I did the same in English.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T09:31:38.037" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1763" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-03T11:39:46.760" Score="3" ViewCount="1953" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my partner and our baby have picked up &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.what-is-thrush.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;thrush&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctor has given us some medicine - a gloopy lotion to rub in the babies mouth and my partner was given a single table which she has taken. This has seemed fairly ineffective and it just seems to have made our baby's poop toxic. Since starting the medicines she now gets quite irritated when she fills her nappy. (This maybe coincidental, but I trust the female intuition). &#xA;So I would prefer to stay away from the doctors and their chemicals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the information I can find on the internet seems to be tied to selling some anti-candida product or other, and I can't find anything specific for helping babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What really is the best way to get rid of our baby's thrush?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our doctor changed his mind about his diagnosis and said that she didn't have thrush after all. So I have not been able to try the answers suggested here and so cannot accept any of the answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:19:42.890" LastActivityDate="2017-01-10T17:45:42.003" Title="How do we get rid of our baby's thrush?" Tags="|health|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1763" CreationDate="2011-06-03T12:43:30.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of our boys had thrush multiple times. Our doctor always prescribed &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DR600723&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Gentian Violet&lt;/a&gt;, which worked great, albeit a bit messy. It turns everything it touches purple, including the baby's lips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="213" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T12:43:30.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1756" CreationDate="2011-06-03T12:51:32.560" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been a nail bitter for as long as I can remember. My sister also bites her nails, but has mostly broken the habit. I've always believed I picked up this habit from my Dad, as he was a nail bitter also, but I don't remember how I learned the habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try not to bite my nails around my kids and thus far, they haven't gotten into the habit. Your kids will pick up some of your habits, both good and bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There can be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/tc/nail-biting-topic-overview&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;many causes&lt;/a&gt; though, including stress (new school, etc), so it's probably best to talk to your doctor about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="213" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T12:51:32.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1766" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1768" CreationDate="2011-06-03T14:22:28.647" Score="12" ViewCount="42112" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're thinking of switching to a different region at some point in the future. We're not sure when would be best with regards to our child's education and development needs? Would it be best to move when they're younger (kindergarden/grade school) and haven't had a chance to make a lot of friends, or when they're older and might be able to better rationally understand and cope with the move?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:15:41.083" LastActivityDate="2012-01-14T14:39:18.667" Title="When is the best time in a child's development to move to a different area?" Tags="|education|social-development|moving|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1756" CreationDate="2011-06-03T14:35:57.173" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We went through this with my son a few years back when he was about the same age as your son. We had a few major changes that had happened in our life at the time: less time with us and more time with a baby sitter due to work schedules, recently moved, new baby brother. Aside from the nail biting, we saw other changes in his behavior such as more defiance and crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made a few changes in our life that allowed us to spend more time with him, after which we saw drastic improvement with all the behavioral issues he was having. It also made the nail biting stop completely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say that this is mostly just a stage and will likely go away in 6-8 months. But see if there are any stressful changes in his life that you could somehow improve. If not, try to spend more time with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, kids copy like crazy, so don't model bad behavior by biting your nails in front of him. Make sure no siblings or caretakers are doing it either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T14:35:57.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1766" CreationDate="2011-06-03T21:34:20.950" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my own experience moving 6 times as a child, and talking to others about their childhood moves, I would say the earlier you relocate, the better.  Socially, in general other children are less accepting of outsiders the older they get.  This is especially true if you're moving somewhere with a visibly different culture or accent.  My wife moved from Texas to Arizona in middle school and still gets upset sometimes about the kids who made fun of her drawl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, differences in educational standards and curricula are larger the further you are along in school, so the later you move, the less common foundation you have with the other children.  For example, I was an A+ student in English literature, but unfortunately when I changed high schools my new classmates had all read an almost completely different selection of books.  That wasn't a fatal problem, but made things more difficult because I didn't have that common frame of reference.  My trigonometry is a little weak to this day because my high schools taught it in different orders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also find I have fewer childhood memories than my peers who never moved during childhood, and the ones I have are often more fuzzy.  I attribute this to a lack of &quot;anchors&quot; to refresh my memory.  For example, every time you drive by a park you remember events that took place there, but if you never drive past it in 10 years those memories get pushed aside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T21:34:20.950" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1756" CreationDate="2011-06-03T23:32:08.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My middle child did this for a year so after trying the same things as you we started a reward scheme where if she managed to stop for a week she would get a small reward, working up to a 2 month cessation giving her a new doll she wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was obvious when she hadn't managed, and so we had to say &quot;sorry - need to work harder at it to get the doll&quot; and when she succeeded she was delighted - not just to get the doll, but that she had done what was needed herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-06-03T23:32:08.350" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1763" CreationDate="2011-06-04T17:25:20.950" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Naturally carbonated spring water.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how it works, but spring water with a high level of carbonates such as calcium carbonate in them is often an effective and completely side-effect free cure for fungal infections. Not all spring waters with high levels of carbonates are bubbly, but as I understand it all &lt;em&gt;naturally&lt;/em&gt; bubbly spring waters (the ones that are fizzy straight from the ground) have high levels of carbonates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried this with Swedish water Ramlösa and French water Badoit with great success. In fact, Ramlösa is ordinated  in Sweden against thrush. You can &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; use &quot;mineral waters&quot; or &quot;seltzers&quot; or other bottled waters which are essentially filtered tap water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply give them this to drink several times a day, and of they are old enough to understand rinsing and gurgling, do that as well. One doctor said, when I mentioned this, that it probably was the change in pH in the mouth. I don't know myself, I just know it works. (Also may work against dandruff and athletes foot. Really, try it!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-06-05T07:57:01.797" LastActivityDate="2011-06-05T07:57:01.797" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1746" CreationDate="2011-06-04T19:06:43.367" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were having a similar problem and a combination of three things helped:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We switched back to brand-name diapers&lt;/strong&gt;. We'd bought a box of generic ones from Costco or Sam's Club that worked fine all day but leaked overnight. Pampers helped.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We ensured the diaper was on perfectly&lt;/strong&gt;, specifically that nothing was folded under the elastic bands around the legs and that the tabs were snug and straight. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We started feeding him a little earlier&lt;/strong&gt;. Instead of having him basically fall asleep while eating and then laying him down right away we fed him a little earlier so that he'd wet his diaper post-feeding. That gets you a head start on the night if you change him right before bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1025" LastActivityDate="2011-06-04T19:06:43.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1772" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1786" CreationDate="2011-06-04T21:27:25.873" Score="4" ViewCount="164" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems as if our six months old son has difficulties digesting his first lunch mash. We are using mash as it was described in several books:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;carrots mash&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;carrots + potato mash&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;carrots + lamb meat mash&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;all sieved with rape oil. He is breastfed for all other meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When being breastfed, he usually defecates once or twice per day, but he stopped defecating before when he got sick (peeing/flatulence only for four consecutive days).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With mash, he seems to show the same symptoms as if he was sick and produces excrement (much more viscous) with great difficulty (more crying, more pushing) after days without defecation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it too early for mash for him or does he need to go through it? We've tried it for two weeks now. He continues eating normally (I wonder how that works... :D ).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="679" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-05T05:41:28.940" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T14:50:32.727" Title="According to the following symptoms, is our son ready for mash?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1294" CreationDate="2011-06-04T23:40:05.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We bought a miniature crock pot that we leave plugged in and full if water. It's hot enough to heat a bottle quickly when immersed, but won't overheat the milk unless it's left in there a really long time. Once I take it out I give the bottle a quick shake or a few swirls to evenly distribute the temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can take a while for hot water to come from our tap so this method is much faster and saves water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1025" LastEditorUserId="1025" LastEditDate="2011-06-05T12:42:44.910" LastActivityDate="2011-06-05T12:42:44.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1774" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1775" CreationDate="2011-06-05T08:07:17.443" Score="6" ViewCount="2113" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7mo son was only on breast milk till 6 months. I then started introducing formula and after a week of no issues, started with fruit pulp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After fruit pulp, he has difficulty defecating and needs to push a lot! The frequency is alright so no issues there. He just has to put in more effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal and how long will it go on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1028" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:14:22.237" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T16:07:56.477" Title="Why is my infant constipated after eating fruit pulp?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1774" CreationDate="2011-06-05T13:53:36.433" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's normal for him to be a little constipated; if you think about it he's had only liquids for 6 months and suddenly there's something solid in his digestive tract...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, pay attention to which fruits you're giving him; bananas will bind him up more, etc.  If he's still having issues 'producing' then add in some breastmilk or formula to his mash to make it thinner for him and easier for him to digest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he's used to having to pass solids, it should ease up for him. It could take two to three weeks, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-05T13:53:36.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1776" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1778" CreationDate="2011-06-05T17:46:51.817" Score="105" ViewCount="38732" Body="&lt;p&gt;Backstory: My 8 yr old son is a bright, gentle, etc, kid who attends public school.  My wife and I have no TV, we disallow violent games (simulated killing is not allowed), we don't have video games, we teaching proper custodianship of the earth, respecting other people, religions and cultures, and encourage physical activity and exercise.  In other words, we're a pretty typical middle class family &lt;strong&gt;for our neighborhood&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has recently befriended another boy from school who also lives 5 houses down the street.  He has a different family culture: his parents allow him to watch R-rated movies, he has at least 20 plastic guns, has a a Wii and an XBOX, knows an array of profanity that my kid doesn't know, eats food I would consider &quot;junk&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, this is really just a different set of values and if the list ended there we'd be fine.  But when this kid comes over for a play-date (which has happened about 5 times in 2 months) he has said things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Let's pretend this stick is a gun.  I wish it were a &lt;strong&gt;real&lt;/strong&gt; gun so I could kill myself!&quot; (My son responded with &quot;Noo.. don't kill yourself, you're my best friend!&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;My dad took me to a shooting range once so I could shoot I real gun.  I wish I could take one of those real guns to school and kill all the stupid teachers!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Death to AMERICA!!&quot;  (Yelled while riding his bike home from our house.  The neighbors were visibly shocked.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this little boy does is talking about guns and killing.  He's obsessed.  He has been repeatedly in trouble at school and suspended a few times for violent behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sooo... my wife's reaction is: &quot;he's 8 and he's clearly not serious about what he's saying.  If we reject him then he's just further isolated.  He needs love and understanding, not further rejection.  Our family can help him.  It's just a phase.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sort of see her point, but I am having a &lt;strong&gt;visceral&lt;/strong&gt; instinct that tells me &quot;GET THIS CHILD AWAY FROM MY SON.&quot;  Worse, my 5 yr old recently said &quot;I'm gonna kill you!&quot; to a friend, and said he learned that from this other child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are now &lt;strong&gt;fighting&lt;/strong&gt; about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question:&lt;/strong&gt; What should I do?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have talked to the kid and warned that if he cannot stop this kind of talk, he won't be welcome in our house.  That didn't work... the talk continues.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have told my son that his friend is no longer welcome here, which of course caused a lot of drama.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; approached the friend's parents; I have met them a few times and I sense that such a discussion would have a &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; bad outcome.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; This is a total cop-out, but we're moving away for a year (I'm a college prof going on sabbatical in California for a year).  I have to admit, a huge benefit of this move is getting my kid away from this friend for a while.  Hopefully things will improve by the time we get back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Second Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; Based on comments, I have misled people into believing that my kids don't get video time at all.  That is not true.  We limit it to one hour per day max (as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatricians), and we limited it to zero before age one (as recommended, again).  This was &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; easy: the temptation to &quot;turn on the magic lights&quot; and go take a nap has been strong at times...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1029" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-30T03:38:11.343" LastActivityDate="2022-07-21T13:33:21.377" Title="How can I prevent my 8-year-old from spending time with his bad friend?" Tags="|behavior|middle-childhood|friends|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="20" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1777" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1787" CreationDate="2011-06-05T17:53:48.377" Score="6" ViewCount="1070" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are in the process of purchasing our first round of cloth diapers for our soon to be born son.  We are planning to go with prefolds and covers and I have noticed that some of the companies sell &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sagediaper.com/home/dp1/image_options.html?myid=585&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;covers&lt;/a&gt; with a cut out for the umbilical cord.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are these needed or just helpful?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Can you just fold down normal infant covers untill the cord falls off?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If they are needed can they be used even after the cord falls off?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastEditorUserId="4439" LastEditDate="2013-06-19T10:35:04.060" LastActivityDate="2013-06-19T10:35:04.060" Title="Do I need infant cloth diaper covers with a cut-out for the umbilical cord?" Tags="|newborn|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-05T20:54:07.187" Score="193" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; problems here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your child is friends with a kid who has learned some maladaptive behaviors/ideas and is passing them on to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You and your wife are apparently unaware of the social and cultural realities outside your own family.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't to say that you can fix the situation, but you'd have a better chance of doing so if you understand the situation.  I say this as someone who spent nearly a decade working with &quot;at risk&quot; kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, your family is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;pretty typical&quot; outside your neighborhood.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://injuryprevention.bmj.com/content/13/1/15.full&quot;&gt;38% of US households have at least one firearm&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42879850/ns/business-us_business/t/tv-ownership-falls-first-time-years-nielsen-says/&quot;&gt;98.9% of US households have television sets&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kff.org/entmedia/3271-index.cfm&quot;&gt;More than 2/3 of kids have video game systems at home, and 92% of children and adolescents ages 2-17 play video games&lt;/a&gt; (pdf).  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5233a1.htm&quot;&gt;61.5% of children aged 9--13 years do not participate in any organized physical activity during their nonschool hours and that 22.6% do not engage in any free-time physical activity&lt;/a&gt;.  I don't have stats on profanity usage, but asking around to a couple of teachers I know from middle-class neighborhoods, their 1st-3rd graders frequently require discipline for using profanity that is considered &quot;okay&quot; at home.  I could go on and on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that your family's values are &lt;em&gt;wrong&lt;/em&gt;, just that they are not typical.    Most people walk around with the illusion that their values are the norm, simply because we tend to surround ourselves with people who share our values. You need to be aware of this because you seem not to recognize how foreign and hard to navigate your family's social scripts and values are to this kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine that you were 8 years old, and dropped on some remote island.  Everyone there spoke English and their houses looked about the same as yours, but their behavior was absolutely confounding.  These people gave wet willies as greetings, never &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt; used words like &quot;hey&quot; or &quot;wow&quot; or &quot;cool&quot; (and were terribly offended if you did) and thought you were potentially criminally violent because of your firm handshake (which in your culture is a sign of confidence and strength).  That's essentially what this kid feels like coming to your house -- your social rules are so different from the ones he was taught at home, even if he were 100% motivated to adapt it would take time and many mistakes.  How easy would it be for the islanders to convince 8yo you that &quot;wow&quot; is a horribly offensive cuss word, and handshakes are threatening?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From this point on, I'm making some &lt;em&gt;big&lt;/em&gt; assumptions because I don't know the child or the situation first hand, but here's what I suspect is happening:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That an eight-year-old is mentioning suicide and homicide at all is concerning, but keep in mind that if it hasn't been explicitly taught to him, he doesn't really understand the gravity of those statements.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You tried to reason an eight-year-old into making drastic behavioral changes based on cultural values he doesn't understand because he's had little to no exposure to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put it in perspective, my then-7yo, who'd studied martial arts for three years, was born on a military base, and whom I have taught to respect both barehanded martial arts and weapons &lt;em&gt;could not&lt;/em&gt; wrap his head around the fact that the 6yo girl in his class who talked about getting a knife and stabbing people wasn't really going to try to kill anybody; she'd just seen a violent movie at a friend's house and didn't grok that knifing people was any more real than the energy weapons or space aliens in the movie.  She had &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; idea why my son was upset by her comments, even after the teacher explained it to her.  Some adults can't bridge those kinds of cultural disconnects -- almost no young children can.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child is probably acting the way he does for some combination of the following reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This behavior is being modeled for him at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His parents' approach is to take the path of least resistance, so he's learned that the best/only way to get noticed is to do or say outrageous things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's not getting enough contact from his parents, so the &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; behavior modelling is the unrealistic examples from movies and video games.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without having nearly enough information to jump to conclusions here, I'm going to give some advice based on the conclusions I just jumped to above -- take it with a grain of salt:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't &quot;fix&quot; a kid who has a very dysfunctional home life unless you remove him from that home life -- something you obviously can't do.  You can probably mitigate his behavior in your home, which might even help the kid a little, but doing so will be labor intensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what you do, this kid will probably be a bad influence on your kids in some small ways.  He can't magically undo your parenting and turn your children into sociopaths, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If&lt;/em&gt; you decide that you can live with the bad influence because the friendship is that important to your son, you need to take a two-pronged approach: take steps to keep this child's behavior from being adopted by your children, and take steps to improve how this child behaves around your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sit down with all three kids (the neighbor kid and your kids) and explain to them your household rules, and that everyone in the house must follow them.  Explain that you want to do fun things with them, but that that will not work if they keep getting into time-out over bad behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Never, EVER allow your children to go over to this kid's house.  Who knows what is going on over there.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make play dates structured play dates, with a parent participating at all  times.  Do things this kid probably wouldn't get to do at home, like bake cookies together, build a bonfire outside and roast marshmallows (S'mores++), have a cool craft project ready to go, put up a tent in the back yard (or living room for that matter) and tell ghost stories.  This way the kid has real incentive to love being at your house despite what he will see as weird and pointless behavior rules, you can easily monitor behavior and nip problems in the bud with a time-out the instant they appear, and you are modelling good behavior and providing responsible adult attention in ways he probably doesn't get at home.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;DO NOT let bad behavior go in the name of &quot;love and understanding&quot; -- anything you allow to happen you are implicitly endorsing.  The same goes for your kids -- if you don't hold them to the same strict rules this kid will see it as persecution rather than enforcement.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Watch and listen and try to figure out what is important to this kid.  Maybe he wants to be a scientist when he grows up, maybe he just wants to learn how to fit in at school -- every kid is different, but if you put the time in you can usually find the motivation for them to want to be and do better, not just to please you but of their own accord.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Enroll your kids in a good martial arts program.  In addition to discipline, dexterity, diligence, the ability to take criticism well, confidence, and a bunch of other great things kids can learn in martial arts, kids learn things like how to identify the difference between playfighting and real aggression, the same visceral aversion to even suggestions of inappropriate violence that my son has, and a good frame of reference for how to handle the kinds of situations this kid has put your son in with his comments.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-06-06T14:53:30.297" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T14:53:30.297" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1779" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1797" CreationDate="2011-06-05T23:49:14.030" Score="4" ViewCount="236" Body="&lt;p&gt;We decided to go with a diaper service before our son was born but when we brought him home the diapers seems &lt;strong&gt;way&lt;/strong&gt; to large for him. He was small, but not insanely small (6 lbs 10 oz). Only the Newborn sized disposable diapers seemed to fit. And what was strange was that most stores don't seem to sell Newborn sized diapers, they almost all seem to sell only size 1 and up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I wrong is thinking that my son really isn't exceptionally tiny? At what weight are &quot;newborn&quot; cloth diapers supposed to fit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:07:06.900" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T20:07:06.900" Title="Are cloth diapers really supposed to fit a newborn?" Tags="|newborn|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1781" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1783" CreationDate="2011-06-06T00:19:47.743" Score="14" ViewCount="7948" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are we supposed to put the new diaper on immediately or give our newborn some diaper-free time? His skin under the diaper is slightly moist when changing it, should we give him some time to air out? If so, how much? And what are the negative consequences of just putting a new diaper back on him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:06:04.093" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T18:15:22.717" Title="When changing diapers, how soon should we put the new diaper on?" Tags="|newborn|diaper|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1781" CreationDate="2011-06-06T00:58:31.563" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the time it's okay to just put the clean diaper right back on. If it's too moist too often, he will get a rash, but usually that's more due to waiting too long to change rather than putting a new diaper on too soon. Make sure to clean all the urine off so the moisture is just from the wipe. You can use some baby powder if it starts to bother him, and there's a gazillion ointments out there too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, there's no &lt;em&gt;down side&lt;/em&gt; to diaper-free time, except to your carpet! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T00:58:31.563" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-06T02:08:22.120" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to your son.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An 8 year old is mature enough to understand a lot of what is going on here and choose for himself. What he needs is your guidance &amp;amp; wisdom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My wife and I have no TV, we disallow violent games (simulated killing is not allowed), we don't have video games, we teaching proper custodianship of the earth, respecting other people, religions and cultures, and encourage physical activity and exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are all admirable behaviors, and they may also be beneficial to your son. It's just as possible that restricting access to TV and video games, while pushing for exercise will backfire - that TV &amp;amp; video games will become a fetish for your son, and that he will hate exercise as an adult. Trust yourself as a parent, but recognize that you may be doing it all wrong!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, if you deny your child access to the neighbor kid, that rule is going to create a focus of attention. Your child might not like it, and that will become a rift in your relationship. He may try to get around the rule, creating an environment of dishonesty. He will learn a lesson that it's OK to separate two people because of what one might learn from the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In other words, we're a pretty typical middle class family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to get out more! Most folks don't do much exercise, and they do watch TV. Anyone with open eyes can tell that we're destroying the earth in a big hurry, so that custodianship thing hasn't caught on widely. What you're doing is OK, just don't assume that everyone else is like you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So far, this is really just a different set of values and if the list ended there we'd be fine. But ... he has said things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You see yourself as respectful of other people, religions, and cultures, but clearly that doesn't include these violent statements by the neighbor kid. There's no absolute rule about which of these behaviors is &quot;acceptable&quot; and which is &quot;unacceptable&quot;. Your are drawing your own lines. That's fine, but you would do well to recognize them as &lt;strong&gt;yours&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, as for what to do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask your son how he felt&lt;/strong&gt; when he heard these things. Ask if he has questions, or needs help. He may not realize that severing his relationship with this other child is an option; you can't point that out to him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Explain your concerns&lt;/strong&gt; to your child. Tell him you're worried about his safety and well-being, and ask for his help in addressing your concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Trust&lt;/strong&gt; that your child wants to take good care of himself, and can recognize risks he wants to avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="100" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T02:08:22.120" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-06T02:30:17.457" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're pretty much on the same page as you. We don't have TV or video games. I have a 6 year old boy. However, I don't mind that he play war games or pretend fight (we do that together and have a lot of fun). That is just normal boy/male behavior, it's quite natural. And some amount of that is healthy since it is a form of exercise and develops body coordination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the other boy seems over the top. So I suggest you keep the advise to surround yourself with other people that are like what you, and your boy, want to be. Your wife is right in the sense that some love can help, but only in the form of rigid limits on behavior that only the parents can supply. She is wrong in thinking that she or you have any power to do anything about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I suggest you make an effort to set up some play dates with other friends instead of that one, or go spend the day at a park or at the beach on weekends, etc. Just be &quot;too busy&quot; for the other boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="520" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T02:30:17.457" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1772" CreationDate="2011-06-06T02:36:53.527" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your baby is constipated.  Carrots and lamb especially tend to constipate one, so a change in diet will probably help.  Try introducing some fruit to his diet instead of the carrots and such -- apple sauce or pureed pears would be ideal at this stage -- and/or a little of that baby rice cereal that comes in tiny flakes (it can be mixed with water, breast milk, or formula, don't feed it dry).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 1-2 days, things should loosen up and he should stop being constipated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T02:36:53.527" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1777" CreationDate="2011-06-06T03:06:10.010" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, I can not see why these are necessary. You can affix a diaper in a way that does not cover the infant's belly button.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have used cloth diapers with two children, and commend you for doing so. However, it is worth it to consider using disposables for the first few weeks. Especially the first days when the tarry black meconium is coming out, but also in the first few weeks when the baby poops every time he/she eats and the parents are just getting oriented, this can be helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="48" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T13:51:16.677" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T13:51:16.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-06T04:22:19.560" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I'd like to make a few comments. Do with them as you will. Ignore them if you disagree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While there is a lot of trash on TV, there is also a lot of gold. In my country, we have lots of channels on cable based around science, history, geography, nature, etc. I assume it is the same where you live.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While a lot of video games are senseless, many will develop his hand-eye co-ordination and logic abilities. For example, real-time-strategy games such as &lt;i&gt;Starcraft&lt;/i&gt; or &lt;i&gt;Sid Meyer's Civilization&lt;/i&gt; will develop his strategic thinking, logical thinking, and hand-eye co-ordination in one hit, while also letting him have fun.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While &amp;quot;profanity&amp;quot; is not always appropriate, it has its purposes in the English language. You will never be able to shield your children from swear words. They will hear them at school whether you like it or not. The best thing you can do is teach them that it's not appropriate to say them unless something extra-ordinary has happened.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&amp;quot;Junk food&amp;quot; should be discouraged, but I don't see anything wrong with eating sweets/cake etc, or drinking soft drinks on special occasions - like birthday parties, especially if he is getting a balanced diet all other times. Completely banning them will probably make him resent you for alienating him from his friends.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I agree that guns should not be toys under any circumstances as they are no laughing matter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the friend, you might find your son will react badly if you suddenly forbid him from being friends with this boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't underestimate the subconscious influence a parent has over their children. If you and your wife discuss the boy at the dinner table, something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You:&lt;/em&gt; &amp;quot;That boy, Danny, is a trouble-maker. He is not going to get far with that attitude. With all that junk food and video games, he will end up a fat slob in ten years.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Wife:&lt;/em&gt; &amp;quot;Yes, I agree. I'm glad our son isn't like him. As long as he keeps his grades up, he will end up with a great job which he loves.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You:&lt;/em&gt; &amp;quot;Yeah, that's true. I think that boy is going to end up in jail someday...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overhearing this conversation, the wheels will start turning in your son's head and he will start to re-evaluate whether he really wants this boy as a friend. He may even end the friendship from by his own decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T04:22:19.560" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-06T04:37:11.583" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents enrolled me in a private christian school for kindergarten through second grade (along side my older brother). However we picked up &quot;dirty language&quot; and really were not learning much from the teachers. We were learning a LOT from other pupils. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my situation my Mom was able to home-school us until age 11 or so (which I think is optimal). Not everyone is able to do that. However, I am convinced that it is the best solution (Im 22 now). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If regular school is the only option, it is still important to screen your kids friends. I remember one of my neighbors had Nintendo 64 w/ mario-cart and other games. He was our age (7 or so) and we wanted to go play video games. My parents didn't approve. My older brother still went... he got disciplined appropriately. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We become what our friends are, and so do our kids, so choose your kid's friends carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="920" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-06-06T12:40:38.757" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T12:40:38.757" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1779" CreationDate="2011-06-06T04:44:30.207" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the same thing, probably because they are that size for just a short time. They never fit like a tailored suit, they just need to &quot;catch stuff&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="520" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T04:44:30.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-06T05:20:58.043" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I'm apt to agree with @puddingfox on the 'typical' tag and the almost extreme control over experiences, I understand where you're coming from, and your concern for your child is of course well founded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is eight years old, not in his teens...he's not about to hold grudges over something so trivial. What matters right now is the support of your wife. Her heart may go out to the child and his circumstances, but the issues arise out of his family life and are not something her kindness is going to drastically alter. She needs to look out for her son first and foremost, and to be your partner in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1056" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T05:20:58.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-06T07:30:24.437" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I get older, &lt;strong&gt;I have come to believe &lt;em&gt;deeply&lt;/em&gt; in the idea that who you are friends with, and who you choose to associate with, profoundly influences your behavior.&lt;/strong&gt; If you hang around with hoodlums, you are more likely to become a criminal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That however is just my opinion. I did find one study about smoking that corroborates this, at least in that one single dimension:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF01857956&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF01857956&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Smoking among peers was the best predictor of smoking for White adolescents (accounting for 23.5% of the variance) but accounted for only 15% of the variance for Latino youth, 9.6% of the variance for Asian youth, and none of the variance for Black youth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus -- &lt;em&gt;at least if you are white&lt;/em&gt; -- if your child hangs out with kids who smoke, he is statistically much more likely to take up smoking as well. I have no reason to believe this is different for any undesirable behavior {x}. If their friends do it, they're going to absorb it to some degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am planning to be a total jerk about this with my son if necessary. He's only two, but I will be &lt;em&gt;absolutely&lt;/em&gt; interceding on his behalf if he starts running around with bad crowds. (Note that I don't mean kids with whom I mildly disagree, but kids that get into serious trouble or have other major behavioral problems.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish I had more peer influence studies to cite here -- but I support you 100% in this, based on the dangerous behavior of the friend you described.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2022-07-21T13:33:21.377" LastActivityDate="2022-07-21T13:33:21.377" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1781" CreationDate="2011-06-06T07:53:44.133" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;How much time to air:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;After cleaning, you can dab off the skin with a soft towel (paper is likely to irritate more than cloth). If the skin still feels a little moist, &lt;strong&gt;it takes only 30 seconds to air-dry&lt;/strong&gt;, and then you can put the new diaper on. You can also softly pat the skin with the back of your hand to speed up the air-drying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially with newborns, there's often no need for soaps, ointments or powders as long as the skin is clean and dry. We use only warm water, and cosmetic pads rather than wipes. We do use an ointment &lt;em&gt;on occasion&lt;/em&gt; when the skin is red, otherwise nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T07:53:44.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1781" CreationDate="2011-06-06T08:53:06.710" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Diaper-free time is good. We used to put our newborn on a soft blanket to air out and &quot;play&quot; for a little while before dressing her up for bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only caveat is sensitive skin. We always had some sort of layer between her and carpet, simply because we have 2 dogs and 2 cats and didn't want any additional skin irritation to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="578" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T08:53:06.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1779" CreationDate="2011-06-06T08:58:00.033" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Because newborns grow so quickly, the smallest diapers will seem very large at first. We put ours in cloth around 1 month old, and they fit much better than at birth. Ours was around 9 or 10 pounds by 1 month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="578" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T08:58:00.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1750" CreationDate="2011-06-06T12:24:13.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Example you give is a clinical case and has nothing to do with normal behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for stability, it's really more about the family, not the surroundings or things. In my experience normal child will have no problem changing over to completely new house in different country even, as long as parents are with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1065" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T12:24:13.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1800" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1803" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:08:23.647" Score="11" ViewCount="4122" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sure the headline made you curious? :-) But I'm serious, and I am not referring to toys but actual household machines. We have a Roomba floor vacuum cleaner and a lawn mower. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 20-month son is afraid of these machines, even when they're parked and turned off. He will back away from them and start to whine. I've told him, and shown him, that the machines are harmless and not evil, but that didn't convince him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is not afraid of kitchen machines that are much more noisy. He's also (mostly) not afraid of the regular vacuum cleaner and the regular electric lawn mower that we also use, nor of other machines or cars, mopeds, bikes, etc. even if they are noisy. But he is afraid of the power drill. And terrified of mascots operated by a person inside (as in Disneyland).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do you have experience with similar situations? What can be the cause? What helped?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note:&lt;/strong&gt; Just to be clear, I'm well aware that any lawnmower can be very dangerous, and we make absolutely sure that there is no way for the lawnmower to get near our son. But he can still see it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm including some marketing photos so you can see what size the robots are: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/imE5R.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;stock photo&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/4LTik.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;stock photo&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T20:03:55.873" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T20:03:55.873" Title="How do we make our toddler less afraid of robots?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1801" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:12:33.820" Score="7" ViewCount="13471" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two staircases in my home. On one side is a metal spindle that is square in shape, probably 1.5&quot; on each edge. The other side is the wall (drywall).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been doing research online only for now; I haven't had time to venture to a Baby's 'R Us to look in person. Does anyone know what my options are or which baby gate is the &quot;best&quot; for this setup? My 11 month old has a playroom at the top of the stairs and it's always tense when she suddenly takes off toward the stairs and my wife &amp;amp; I rush to get between her and the first step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any recommendations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1071" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:39:44.340" LastActivityDate="2016-12-15T21:51:44.450" Title="What safety gate can I use at the top of my stairs?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:15:53.087" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;All I can say is; while I understand your deep feelings of concern - you have to be realistic - you cannot shield your child from the realities of society forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; keep him locked in a bubble till he leaves home - but then I'm afraid when that day comes the world will eat him alive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So by all means disapprove of the other family; by all means do your best to keep your child away from the other one.  But if the other child is as bad as you say they are; then eventually your child will grow tired of them or, even better from your point of view, actually dislike them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mind you - I played with fake guns as a kid, though, and I'm not a serial killer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said; I didn't watch 'R' films (18 over here in the UK) or play uber-violent games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I do now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1072" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T13:15:53.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1800" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:27:26.117" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guess is that these things frighten him (minus the drill - but both my children hated the drill until they topped 4-5 years old because of the noise) because they act on their own; but unlike anything else that acts on its own (you, pets, other children etc), there's no visual cues as to what the machine is going to do next.  There's no facial expression or body language to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this fear won't persist forever; once he learns to understand the difference between living things with motives etc; and robots that 'just do'; then he'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be just as well to let him get round this problem himself rather than trying to force the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've often found with my children and their irrational fears that we had to completely ease up to give them the room to explore the fear themselves; if they felt that someone was trying to force them, however well-meaning or pleasant, then they dug in deeper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1072" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T13:27:26.117" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1801" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:32:42.610" Score="5" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a gate right now. Any gate. Go!&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Figure out later if another product is a more suitable replacement. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your child is apparently highly mobile, your worries should be in the above order. You have an &lt;em&gt;immediate&lt;/em&gt; security concern, so it's not about the &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; right now. Most gates aren't that expensive that one can't afford to buy another one later - and the first could be reused in another location.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure I follow your description of the staircase, but most gates need only very little width on the wall (or whatever surface it's secured to).  They can be screwed into the surface, or placed into a plastic shape that is stuck to the wall using double-sided adhesive tape. Some can be opened using an integrated door, one can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have different models in our home, and I've seen several other models in friends' homes.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;They all work well.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Are you still reading this, or already heading for the store? :-)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Safe mounting of the gate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;On the drywall side, the gate should be screwed into the drywall. That is the only way to make sure it can't be shoved aside by a child; double-sided adhesive won't do because it won't stick securely to the wall paint.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;On the metal spindle, screws will definitely work but I would hesitate with this solution because you can't easily close the screw holes when the gate is removed (on drywall, this is easy to do well). Still, they're a reliable last resort. See if you could use double-sided tape first though -- that would work &lt;em&gt;provided&lt;/em&gt; that the gate applies outward pressure when closed, and &lt;em&gt;provided&lt;/em&gt; that the gate has a significant mounting surface to ensure a solid hold -- two coin-sized patches are not enough!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-02-28T13:19:13.407" LastActivityDate="2014-02-28T13:19:13.407" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1801" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:33:47.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the top of the stairs, you'll want one like &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001H0GF24&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;, where the gate can be opened relatively easily. Otherwise, you'll tend to leave it open, and that defeats the purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's challenging to mount one well when you have drywall on one side and some kind of banister on the other side. You'll need to make sure it won't slip because the kid will eventually be hanging on it, every time you turn around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="697" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T13:33:47.820" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1800" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:35:45.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;They get over it. Familiarity breeds contempt. Eventually, you'll find the kid trying to figure out a way to ride around on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="697" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T13:35:45.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1766" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:46:54.913" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course, as already said, the earlier the better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later on, it would be wise to coordinate that with the moment that the child would change school anyway (like going from elementary to middle school, or from middle to high school).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1065" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T13:46:54.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1800" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:49:46.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is afraid of vacuums and water. My daughter is afraid of balloons. I don't think you can ascribe much rationality to it, other than as an instinct that works in unexplainable ways. My other daughter is almost completely fearless, probably a symptom of her cerebral palsy, and trust me, as a parent a little irrational fear is preferable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T13:49:46.143" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1801" CreationDate="2011-06-06T13:51:01.837" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was struggling with this issue as well. Very few gates are suitable for top of stairs, i.e. pressure mount gates can be knocked out easily when applied some weight on top of the stairs and then you create potentially more dangerous situation plus from what you describe it is not even an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ended up getting something like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.evenflo.com/product.aspx?id=230&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; (mounting was also a problem) , which I was not comfortable with at all as it seemed flimsy. But my son spent most of the time downstairs.&#xA;Another option could be putting a gate in a hallway between the playroom and stairs if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T13:51:01.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1752" CreationDate="2011-06-06T21:09:06.980" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician advised us that you can leave it unless it gets infected. Contrary to the other poster, he indicated that you should NOT soak it.  The goal is to dry it out so the surface skin dies and flakes away.  Soaking tends to soften the skin and it will take longer for the sliver to work its way out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can treat with anti-biotic cream/ointment to prevent infection (many also have topical pain killer which will help ease your mind that you're doing what you can if nothing else).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="765" LastActivityDate="2011-06-06T21:09:06.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1812" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1814" CreationDate="2011-06-07T02:07:32.560" Score="18" ViewCount="9854" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's starting to get pimples. We had thought that we only needed to bathe him once a week, though I can't remember where we read that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="119" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T13:44:46.773" LastActivityDate="2018-12-01T15:51:23.250" Title="How often should I bathe my newborn?" Tags="|newborn|hygiene|bathing|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1812" CreationDate="2011-06-07T05:19:56.853" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, the answer is really, &quot;often enough so he doesn't get pimples.&quot; Or smell, feel, or look dirty. That will vary for every child and environment. Once a week is more of a bare minimum rule of thumb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T05:19:56.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1812" CreationDate="2011-06-07T07:52:53.590" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't bathe small children too often, especially not daily! There's a risk they develop a skin condition like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atopic_dermatitis&quot;&gt;dermatitis&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Austria, the recommendation from the midwives' association is to &lt;strong&gt;bathe infants weekly&lt;/strong&gt; *' and newborns and infants ordinarily don't get so dirty that you need to use soaps (and lotions afterward) -- just let the baby's skin do what it's built to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*' And of course as needed! :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, we bathed our son weekly while he was newborn, using only warm water, and that was fine. Now that he's 20 months old, we put him in the tub with intervals of roughly 3-7 days (and as needed when he's played in the sandbox). We let him play in the tub for a while, then use a soft cloth with a baby soap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T07:52:53.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1812" CreationDate="2011-06-07T08:51:03.087" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can this be &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_acne&quot;&gt;baby acne&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is, it has nothing to do with the number of times you bathe your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rule of thumb torbengb mentions, to wash it once a week, is ok, altough I would bathe it more than that, but that's probably more because of social pressure and not for health reasons. We washed our baby regularly with a washcloth with lukewarm water and no soap. The Childcare organisation in Belgium does not warn against bathing with water per se, but it recommends to stay away from using too much skin products and soaps. It's better to use too little than too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastEditorUserId="119" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T12:53:14.093" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T12:53:14.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-07T08:57:13.913" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fixee, as the things you write about your son's friend are (from my point of view) really, really extreme, I also think you should try to talk to teachers and other people, which should be (made) aware of this attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could you find out, why your son likes his friend so much and why he wants to spend time with him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general I would also suggest (like some others did) to talk to the parents of that child, however I know from my own experience how difficult it is to discuss with someone who has such a different opinion and approach to live his life and raise his child(ren).&#xA;So I can understand very well that you don't want to do that.&#xA;:-(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's difficult to raise children in this world - I'd like to know how your story goes on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can understand your question and your concern quite well.&#xA;We have a similar problem, but much less extreme and already at the age of 3, where I wonder:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does my son choose this guy as his older &quot;friend&quot; which &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;treats him very bad quite often,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;forces him physically to do things he does not want, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tries to lock him up somewhere&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;does not allow other children to join in and play with the two of them?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our child tells me about things, he seems to do not like (which his &quot;friend&quot; does), but on the other hand he also copies much of the bad behavior (not everything, but enough). &#xA;However, he also seems to be a bit anxious about saying &quot;no&quot; to his friend or reject him, because the other boy is bigger, older, stronger and willing to use his power.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been talking to my son a long time (also this morning) and I wonder how I can help him, because he also isolates himself from the others which are excluded by his &quot;friend&quot; and might also avoid my son, if he wants to play with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll talk with the nursery school teacher again and see what she proposes.&#xA;Last time when I told her about my concerns, she said &quot;[the other boy] is a good child, he is just quite strong and we have an eye on him&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The topic about killing, arms and so on is also difficult for us. &#xA;We always tried to avoid that at home, we don't have toy weapons and we tried to show our son how to be peaceful and friendly.&#xA;(We also did not let him watch TV up to now, and I don't think he's missing something.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the nursery school he learned very quickly about shooting and pistols, so now every stick becomes a &quot;pistol&quot; and he is (sometimes) fascinated about &quot;making dead&quot; animals or people.&#xA;We then try to explain him, that the animals also want to live and that as well as he want's respect for his own health and wellbeing, he also has to respect this right of other creatures. That seems to be hard to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I fear this (interest for arms, fight and violence) is to some extent &quot;normal&quot; in the evolution of a child, finally our ancestors very long ago depended on hunting and killing animals (and maybe their enemies).&#xA;I also have been playing &quot;cowboy&quot; etc. as a child, had (from my actual point of view) too many toy weapons at home and I am now considering me a very peaceful and pacifist man.&#xA;:-/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you all the best&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T11:15:40.197" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T11:15:40.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1781" CreationDate="2011-06-07T09:04:54.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The skin should be dry quite quickly, so normally there should be no problem to replace the diapers instantly with new ones. You can use a soft towel and the remaining moisture also should be absorbed by the diaper.&#xA;Just if you see that the skin is or gets red or irritated, this might be a sign to give it more time to &quot;breathe&quot; and air out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also agree to the suggestions above: warm (pure) water and a towel should be enough to clean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Further benefits of giving some diaper-free time&lt;/em&gt; (even if there are no &quot;bad&quot; signs like irritated skin):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's good to let your child also play naked, because it can only move freely if it's not hindered by the big diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you can use this time without diapers for cuddling (maybe under a blanket, if it is too cold) and if you take your shirt off yourself, the baby also gets some contact skin so skin, which is also considered important for the relationship to the parents.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;... so you could combine business with pleasure. ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T10:20:31.017" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T10:20:31.017" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="942" CreationDate="2011-06-07T09:25:46.283" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to add my experiences of the last weeks as an answer to my own question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did: We just went with it and would see what would come out of it. The answers on this question helped us to put the responsability for this situation with the school, and not with us and especially not our child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A real tip to make it easier for a toddler to keep herself dry during her nap is not to put her to bed directly after lunch but to wait an hour or so. Apparently digestion helps to empty the blatter. The schedule of our preschool is designed just for this effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another element is that the children at our school only sleep for an hour, they are awoken after that time. This is something I do not like, but it has the positive result that there's less chance for an accident. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until now, she hasn't wet her bed at school once. At home she sleeps longer (sometimes to make up for the sleeping time she missed at school), she still wears her diaper which sometimes stays dry, but not always. We try to make her notice when she stays dry but that's the only 'pressure' we put on her now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastEditorUserId="119" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T13:49:31.843" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T13:49:31.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1670" CreationDate="2011-06-07T10:38:49.963" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general I think you can never spend too much time with your baby or children, as long as you leave them the freedom they want and need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And although many people seem to think (unfortunately I heard that too often), that &quot;during the first years they [the babies] don't realize much anyway&quot;, the development of a baby is very very fast, and the more time you spend with him/her, the more you can see the tiny differences and advances, it constantly makes.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;And it is important to talk to them, to play with them, to touch them and to find out what personality has joined your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's a difficult thing to find the balance. Our son was (when he was a a baby and he &lt;em&gt;still is&lt;/em&gt;) very active and very interested in everything.&#xA;You'll have to find out, how your baby shows you that it wants attention and when it also might take a rest (maybe even without sleeping).&#xA;And every child might have a different way of telling his parents what it wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know, it can be very very hard, if you don't get enough sleep for some or even many months and the baby does not respect that and demands your attention, if you're exhausted.&#xA;In such difficult moments you might even tend to get angry, as you also need rest. &#xA;But you'll have to tell yourself very clearly that the baby just does what it feels and needs and that it does not try to make you mad on purpose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; try to &quot;impose&quot; your schedule on the baby's day, but it depends on many circumstances, if that will be successful or not.&#xA;In many aspects, you'll have to adapt to the daily rhythm of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T10:43:54.230" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T10:43:54.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2011-06-07T11:30:27.247" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may arrange a divorce in this situation and that might be helpful locally. But that is not a global solution. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, as he grows older and older, you can control less and less other people's influence on your kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to teach him how to protect himself from negative influence, how to stay clear of trouble. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you do it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you treat him correctly all the time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he will respect you for this&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;once he respects you, you do not have to worry about seemingly significant, but &lt;em&gt;temporal&lt;/em&gt; negative influence of a random guy on him. In the long run, only those will have significant, permanent influence who are well respected.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son will see some odder things or weirder people. He won't cover his eyes or run away. &#xA;He will listen to obscure bullshit told by controversial guys, and for a second maybe he will even believe it. This is because he is free and open minded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to trust his judgement, which is built on the judgement of those who he respects the most. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(i hope it makes sense, I'm not native English)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1094" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T11:30:27.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2011-06-07T12:39:43.043" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're soon to be moving our son from his toddler bed to a full sized bed.  He's simply too large for anything else. (3 years old, 106 cm tall and 20kg.) He'll get out of bed the first 3 times we lay him down regardless of how tired he is (and we shoot for exhausted every night!), unless we're REALLY lucky.  We've also cut out his afternoon naps, and try to avoid him passing out cold on the couch after a long day of play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I think the solution is duct tape.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just pick him back up, give him some snuggles and put him back to bed and cover him over. Sometimes he'll ask for me to sing him his song, and I'll do that for 5 minutes or so, but then it's always back to bed.  He doesn't come out of his room once it's bedtime (we can hear his size 27 feet slapping on the floor as he runs to the door), because we have a gate in the doorway. (We have a STEEP set of stairs to the first floor of the condo and we don't want him roaming and falling down them onto the tiled ground floor.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a solid bedtime routine; bath, cuddles and a story and then up to bed and saying goodnight to the sock monkey (don't ask), his mouse (rat), bunny, etc and finally goodnight to Mom &amp;amp; Dad and Matthias. So right now I think it's a phase he's going through trying to assert himself and his wishes.  He doesn't scream and fight us, he might whine a bit but he goes back into bed relatively easy enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So basically keep him tired, keep a steady dependable routine and stick to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T12:39:43.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1822" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1855" CreationDate="2011-06-07T12:47:21.863" Score="1" ViewCount="1822" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our very first parent-teacher consultation for our pre-schooler (almost three years old) is coming up. Because of that I'd like to bring some more attention to this question:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/321/how-to-maximise-the-usefulness-of-parent-teacher-consultations&quot;&gt;How to maximise the usefulness of parent teacher consultations?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA; which had until now only one answer (albeit an excellent one from HedgeMage), but I would like to make it also more specific about preschool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our experience communication between teachers and parents in (this) preschool is quite different from daycare. It's not impossible to have contact with the teacher during the schoolyear but it takes more effort then at our daycare where we regularly had an informal conversation about our child with the caregivers. Altough we have the impression she is doing ok, this lack of communication makes us a bit unsure about what our child does at school, how she behaves and if she feels well. In a way we expect to get more insight in how she is doing.&#xA;Altough we have some small comments on how things are going I have no reason at all to distrust the school or the teacher. Still I have some irrational &quot;first child paranoia&quot; and I would like to gain some trust in the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know I can not expect to change all this with this one consultation but still I want to take as much out of it as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which information should the teacher give us?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What questions should we ask to make sure our child is feeling well at school and is getting the education (as far as education goes at preschool) she needs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which questions illuminated things for you, about the time your child spends at school, or exposed aspects of your child you did not know of?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T03:18:56.220" Title="How should we prepare for a parent-teacher consultation in preschool?" Tags="|education|school|pre-schooler|teacher|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1823" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1960" CreationDate="2011-06-07T12:52:31.270" Score="10" ViewCount="20517" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is going in for a Tongue Tie clip, basically to do a small snip under his tongue to free it up, he fed well when he was young so it never came up until our dentist noticed it with his teeth and the school speech pathologist mentioned that he is having some trouble speaking.  So we decided to do this, since it's a short outpatient procedure, but is there anything that we should look for in this post op wise?  Most of what I have seen and read is that there should be nothing major, and considering he was in for another outpatient surgery last year and was up and about in a day I'm not too concerned about recovery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I figure we should make him comfy, maybe give him some quiet time and let him watch a movie until he feels better, but with mouth surgery I don't know what would be best to do.  Watching for foods with acidic content or maybe too salty is on my mind, but I don't have a lot of experience with mouth surgeries.  Anyone gone through this recently who might have some advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-11-02T16:01:23.827" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T21:56:07.780" Title="Are there things to watch out for after a tongue-tie operation?" Tags="|primary-schooler|health|language-development|ankyloglossia|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1812" CreationDate="2011-06-07T12:58:31.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Matthias got a bath once a week (barring diaper explosions) as a newborn with just plain water.  &quot;Baby Acne&quot; could be his skin being a little oily, or it could be a result of the hormones from breastfeeding.  As long as his skin doesn't feel oily or otherwise 'dirty', once a week for the first few months should be all that is needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is 3 now and the baths are coming daily, as he tends to bring the sandbox, garden, etc with him daily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T12:58:31.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1825" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1827" CreationDate="2011-06-07T13:10:42.190" Score="6" ViewCount="574" Body="&lt;p&gt;As professor Farnsworth would say it, &quot;Good news, everyone; we are expecting a baby.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem is to find a place to leave the elder sibling during delivery. We moved to a new place, where we have no family/relatives, and are too new to the area to request help from a neighbour/friend. I am sure others have faced such situations, is there something that could be done in situations like this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;: Now that my daughter is born, thought I should update my question with what I actually did.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;There were two services that were very helpful.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  1. The website care.com allows one to register (monthly cost of ~35$) and search (quite comprehensive) for babysitting help. The site claims that all people listed are done so only after a thorough background check. It even allows one to broadcast a message to registered babysitters asking for last-minute help.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  2. The second service is nannypoppins.com, which is sort of a website+call service. If you call their number when you immediately need help, they will find one from their registered on-call babysitters and help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1095" LastEditorUserId="1095" LastEditDate="2011-09-22T18:41:19.733" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T18:41:19.733" Title="What do we do with the elder sibling during our baby's delivery?" Tags="|siblings|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1825" CreationDate="2011-06-07T13:35:33.030" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's usually some kind of midwives' association to guide new (and veteran) parents in all kinds of matters around childbirth. I don't imagine they've never had people in your situation before, unless you've moved to a fairly small place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask your local hospital for references to such a group, and then ask both the hospital and the midwives' association what they'd recommend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T13:35:33.030" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1825" CreationDate="2011-06-07T13:51:38.710" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations for the good news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;questions:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how old is the elder child?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;are there no relatives which could visit you for those days?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your problem:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What about a day nanny - someone who takes care of your child for the time you can not?&#xA;(Maybe also for a night in this case.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume you have some time left before the other baby will come, so you might &quot;try&quot; even different nannys and see if you and your child mix well with her.&#xA;For sure it requires a lot of trust to leave your child with a stranger, but if there's not family or friends near....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there no grandparents which could visit you and stay with you and your child during the time you need their help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T13:51:38.710" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1772" CreationDate="2011-06-07T14:50:32.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your baby might need more water - breastmilk is a lot of water, and now he is missing that. So you have to add increase his intake of fluids. Some people give diluted 100% fruit juice - we just gave ours water with every meal. It's warm weather here now, so she gets dehydrated more as well - again, just offer more water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give more easily digestible food - bananas, mashed rice, and applesauce. For vegetables, try something like sweet potatoes or squash instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T14:50:32.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1829" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1841" CreationDate="2011-06-07T15:32:41.370" Score="12" ViewCount="7714" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I really like a neighborhood day care we recently checked out. The place seems very nice and the care providers seem to do a very good job. They are organized, appear to give a lot of attention to each child, and plan activities for the children. Our only reservation is that the providers are non-native English speakers. They have a strong accent and I assume a smaller vocabulary compared to a native English speaker. So we are concerned with whether our child would get the same level of language stimulation that they would from a native English speaker caregiver. Will spending significant amount being taken care of by a non-native English speaker &lt;strong&gt;speaking English&lt;/strong&gt; impact our child's language development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-06-08T12:22:12.513" LastActivityDate="2017-12-28T00:43:03.900" Title="Will getting child care from a non-native English speaker impact my child's language development?" Tags="|language-development|daycare|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1830" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1834" CreationDate="2011-06-07T16:09:18.390" Score="15" ViewCount="4907" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have friends who decided against a crib in favor of a futon mattress on the floor. This idea came from the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0805211128&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Montessori from the Start&lt;/a&gt;. The benefits for the baby are that they aren't confined and can start exploring their (safe) room as soon as they can crawl and it's supposedly safer since they aren't going to fall from high up. The benefits for the parents supposedly are that during sleepless nights you can lay on the floor next to them instead of staying bent over the crib for a long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been considering doing the same once our boy is too big for his bassinet but I'm somewhat skeptical considering that most people in the world who live in houses or apartments use cribs. So, there must be major benefits to having the baby high off of the ground and surrounded by bars, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, this is based off of my assumption that crib use is universal (for people who have the room and can afford them). Is this truly the case? What are the popular alternatives?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="119" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T18:55:53.430" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T21:54:20.183" Title="Is crib use (mostly) universal?" Tags="|infant|sleep|crib|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1830" CreationDate="2011-06-07T18:28:22.520" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the first I've heard of the mattress-on-the-floor method, but I have to say, my first reaction is: there is &lt;em&gt;no such thing&lt;/em&gt; as a safe room. Once mobile, a baby is able to get herself into dangerous situations using almost nothing. Crawl under the mattress, anyone? Or better yet, crawl over to the door, so it will hit the baby when the parents try to come in. Cribs have their dangers, but with a properly sized mattress and nothing within reach, they can be made reasonably secure, and you don't have to worry about the baby exploring the diaper pail or climbing up the bookshelf or emptying out the dresser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="984" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T18:28:22.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1830" CreationDate="2011-06-07T18:31:09.047" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Health consideration:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Some may (perhaps correctly) argue that lifting the infant from the floor gives a certain level of protection against the dust particles that naturally exist whether you have hard floors or carpeting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point of reference:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Cribs are useful in the same way that tables are -- they lift interesting things up to a height that's easy for adults to reach. This is true if your point of reference is &lt;em&gt;standing up&lt;/em&gt;. But having lived a few years in Japan, I understand the use of the floor as the point of reference as well, and let me tell you, it was &lt;em&gt;blissful&lt;/em&gt; to sleep on a futon on the floor. Alas, you can't get that kind of futons in Europe; what's called &lt;em&gt;futon&lt;/em&gt; here is rather an expandable sofa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T18:31:09.047" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1830" CreationDate="2011-06-07T18:54:37.737" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to add my daughter quite liked being in the crib to sleep. I think she liked the confined space. She would even push herself into a corner making her space even smaller. I don't even know if she would have been able to sleep on the floor like you describe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T18:54:37.737" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1830" CreationDate="2011-06-07T20:34:34.413" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Indian parents had my sister and myself in a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.in/baby/sleep/cloth-cradle-jhoola/&quot;&gt;makeshift hammock-like swing&lt;/a&gt; called &lt;em&gt;jhoola&lt;/em&gt;, that hung from the ceiling. The problem, of course, is safety. However, the benefits are that it provides a womb-like experience (very snuggly, adapts to baby's shape) and baby can be rocked in its bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always understood the existence of cribs as a safety reason compared to alternatives - jhoola, co-op sleeping, etc. The confinment to a space and big bars everywhere are for safety, not because it's great for your child. Also, rolling off a mattress, even if just a few inches high, can be deadly for a child. Your child can roll-over and fall off the mattress on the wrong angle and wind up with their face in the mattress (on their side). They might get really confused, frustrated, or just not be able to breathe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally am not very interested in the idea of letting the baby explore when it is time to sleep. My daughter will stay awake for as long as I keep stimulating her or providing her things to be distracted. If I don't put her to sleep, she will exhaust herself, get fussy and grumpy - in other words - she is a horrible judge of when to go to sleep. This is something I have to teach her. I teach her this by association - that her crib is not play time, instead it is time to sleep. I feel that if I encourage her to explore in her bed, it'll be harder for her to associate sleeping with her bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's similar with adults, as far as I understand. Sleep therapists will commonly say to refrain from doing activities such as watch TV, reading books, studying, eating, etc. in your bed. You should use your bed to associate with sleep. Other activities can confuse your body and can make it harder to fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also think it's very dangerous to leave a baby alone to explore. I encourage my infant to explore a lot - but under supervision. I don't cram her in a playpen during the day (I only put her in when I have to go to the bathroom) - and man, does she go exploring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T20:34:34.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1830" CreationDate="2011-06-07T20:41:35.857" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We began with our baby in a crib and due to a lack of space we found it awful to have to hover over the crib while she fell asleep. We also had a terrible time trying to place her in the crib already asleep to 'finish' a nap. It was impossible - she'd wake up every time. So one evening my wife, fed up, decided to lay her on the double bed we had in the same room (high up, not a mattress on the floor). She was able to rest beside the baby comfortably before leaving. She surrounded her with a parameter of pillows and walked away. To our delight the baby slept wonderfully to the end of her nap - squirmed all over the bed, tossed and turned and had a wonderful sleep. We've been doing it ever since. Our baby now almost 2 hasn't slept in a crib since she was 4 months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It surprised us how perfectly normal this was - one of those things you sort of assume you have to do with a baby but in the end, we could have saved ourselves the $500 crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things to point out:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We dutifully video monitor and check on her - especially in the early days to make sure she didn't crawl under a pillow or roll too near the edge of the bed - we had heard so much about so-called &quot;SID&quot; that we feared her smothering etc. It became obvious that she was smarter than we gave her credit for. Even asleep, she was quick to shuffle around or move if she got her face up against a pillow. Turns out older babies breathe as naturally as adults do (and react if it become obstructed). It's been our experience that there is a lot of the childcare industry and products that simply play off lingering parental insecurities without a lot of basis in fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She did fall off the bed once. On one occasion we got over-confident and regrettably left a hole in the 'pillow parameter'. As if she knew it was there, she rolled right through it in her sleep. She woke up with a scare but she was perfectly fine. Tough lesson to learn but on the bright side, she's rarely rolled that near the edge again. We left some extra cushions on the floor for a while just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, at the age of 2, we still have a few pillows placed at strategic points on the bed to prevent her from rolling off and we usually find her head on one of them. She's adapted to it like it's a 360 degree bed. Sometimes when going to bed she even has fun helping us arrange the pillows as part of her routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line is - this works for us just fine. It won't work for everyone and some parents are too nervous for something like this and that's fine too. Like everything in parenting you have to do what's best as long as you do it safely. There is no 'rule' that says a crib is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1097" LastEditorUserId="1097" LastEditDate="2011-06-07T20:47:47.877" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T20:47:47.877" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="805" CreationDate="2011-06-07T20:49:05.837" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent, but I'm a 21 year old student whose greatest passion is music, especially playing the piano and composing. Although I am no longer in music school, I play two instruments and often spend 2 or 3 hours a day practicing simply for the enjoyment, in addition to my orchestra position and composing hobby. I'm only posting this to give you an answer from the opposite side of the other answers posted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes a certain age or maturity level before some kids can actually appreciate the music they are playing and realize what they get out of it. I started taking piano lessons at the age of 6, and for the next 5 or 6 years I would spend every weekend throwing a tantrum and breaking down in tears about having to do my music theory homework. I despised music lessons more than anything else in the world, and my dad would have to lock me up in a room and finish every single exercise with me before I was allowed to do anything fun for the rest of the weekend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth is, sometimes you have to push your kids to do something they don't necessarily want to do at the time, but they will thank you for it later. Once they get to a level where they feel proficient and can impress their friends and relatives with their musical prowess, it helps greatly with self-esteem and they will start practicing on their own accord without you having to force them. But it might require having to go through some heartaches before that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1098" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T20:49:05.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1829" CreationDate="2011-06-07T20:54:50.457" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not an expert in the subject but what I have read would seem to indicate that it might have a positive effect. Assuming you are the primary care-giver, the baby will ultimately learn your language but being exposed to other languages at an early age can help exercise their comprehension skills, and advance their understanding of languages and their ability to interpret.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1097" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T20:54:50.457" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1812" CreationDate="2011-06-07T21:09:31.703" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We ramped it up. As an infant with sensitive skin, we bathed her about every 4-6 days or on an 'as needed' basis for those unusual incidents which require a little extra soap! We found that this was sufficient for general cleanliness. As she got older and more active we very slowly increased the frequency of baths. At 2 years of age now, we bathe her about every 2-3 days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that when I say &quot;bathe&quot; I am talking about a light all-natural soap, a dot of all-natural shampoo and some frolicking around in the warm water - not scouring, harsh cloths or brushes or any of that nonsense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Cradle cap&quot;, if any, will fade over time on its own time - don't sweat it, and don't pick at it. Infant acne can be a perfectly normal reaction to the introduction of Mom's milk so don't sweat that either - this too shall pass. If it doesn't pass though, might be worth checking with a specialist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1097" LastActivityDate="2011-06-07T21:09:31.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1830" CreationDate="2011-06-08T01:15:10.253" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main alternative is co-sleeping, which, I believe, much of the planet's population still does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did that mainly because it was just way more convenient for Mom. She could just roll over to nurse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One should take some precautions, of course (make sure the baby can't roll off one side, make sure you or your spouse aren't on sleep meds or anything that would cause abnormally deep sleep, us proper bedding, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The crib's main use is to keep danger away from the kid when you're not around. Pets can't get in, baby can't get out, etc. Granted, cribs aren't always safe either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby on the floor unattended seems like a really bad idea. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T01:15:10.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1829" CreationDate="2011-06-08T07:13:16.883" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Assumption 1:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'm writing this with the understanding that the caregivers speak English - with a strong accent - and not their native tongue, as the other 2 answers seem to assume.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My honest opinion is that if my child spends a significant amount of time in the daycare, then I would require that &lt;strong&gt;the staff must speak reasonably accent-free.&lt;/strong&gt; Children learn from what they hear, and I'd not want my child to learn incorrect grammar/pronunciation/etc. because of any staff's accents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to point out that I'm not at all against meeting people with strong accents and spending some time with them - on the contrary, it shows the breadth of the population, which is a good thing. But my reservation is that &lt;strong&gt;this should not be the dominant input&lt;/strong&gt; outside the home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Assumption 2:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Let's assume that the staff speaks their own language almost exclusively. How would that affect the child?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't really imagine that a daycare in country &quot;A&quot; would be allowed to be operated in language &quot;B&quot; unless specifically entitled to, which is not how I understand your question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But given this, I think it would only really work if the child spends a &lt;em&gt;significant&lt;/em&gt; amount of time in the daycare, otherwise there's not enough learning opportunity for the child and it would just be &quot;foreign&quot; to the child, which would in turn be ineffective and also very frustrating for the child and the caregivers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see much potential of language development here. If the caregivers speak their native tongue only among themselves, the child will understand that &quot;foreign languages&quot; exist (which teaches a cultural lesson) but that's about it, I don't think the child would even begin to learn the language from that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T07:13:16.883" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1829" CreationDate="2011-06-08T10:36:27.850" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents-in-law are non-native speakers of our (and our child's) mother language &#xA;and I see, that our child (which often spends time with them, on average maybe at least 6..24 hours per week) also adapts &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;wrong pronunciation and &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;unusual vocabulary or &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;idiomatic expressions which are translated from another language word-by-word &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;to some extent&lt;/em&gt; (!).&#xA;Our child is 3.5 years old and was and is (from my point of view) quite interested in speaking, language and vocabulary and started talking quite early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think that it might have a negative impact concerning pronunciation and vocabulary/vocab/idioms usage of your child. &#xA;That might depend on the amount of time, your child spends with those non-native-speaking people and surely also the age of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That it also trains the child's understanding for different sounds and pronunciation, as some other answers assume, is possible. In our case it also often stimulates discussions about pronunciation with our child. But it is IMHO quite difficult to explain to your child that those people which it should respect (like his grandparents in my case or those people in your day care) are doing something &quot;wrong&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, a native speaker who doesn't care much about the child itself is not a better alternative, AFAIK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-06-08T12:37:42.667" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T12:37:42.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1843" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1844" CreationDate="2011-06-08T14:06:11.973" Score="12" ViewCount="43809" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (currently 8 months old) is quite content to sit by himself and play with toys (blocks, toy cars, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We make sure that he spends time interacting with other children, and we also make sure that we spend one-on-one (and two-on-one) time playing with him, reading to him, singing, etc., and he clearly enjoys those activities.  However, he seems equally content to be on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My assumption has been that play time without interacting with other people would help him develop some independence, and hopefully help teach him not to be bored when no one is actively entertaining him.  However, I don't really have any research, or even experience, to back this assumption up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there benefit to him spending time playing solo?  Is there a certain amount of time he should spend playing by himself each day (or a limit to how much time he spends playing by himself)?  Does this change according to developmental stages?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-08T14:14:54.390" LastActivityDate="2017-01-30T16:39:01.977" Title="Is (supervised) play time alone beneficial for an infant/toddler?" Tags="|toddler|infant|social-development|independence|play-time|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1844" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1843" CreationDate="2011-06-08T14:19:22.500" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Playing on his own a bit can increase his independence (or perhaps his desire to do so signals he's already pretty independent?) -- either way it's not a bad thing.  It sounds like he's getting plenty of social interaction :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for &quot;how much&quot; solo play is good and how much is too much, it depends entirely on the personality of the child.  As long as he's not becoming a couch potato (i.e. being babysat by the TV) or reacting negatively to family time, play dates, etc. it's not too much.  As long as you aren't tearing your hair out at the difficulty of folding laundry or cooking dinner with a velcro child attached to your leg, it's not too little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T14:19:22.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1843" CreationDate="2011-06-08T14:21:29.537" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Benefit:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Teaching or letting a child play on its own seems absolutely fine to me, certainly nothing to try to avoid. As you say, it teaches independence and also creativity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Risks:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;As long as the child doesn't turn into a hermit who always wants to be alone, I'm sure it's beneficial. Since you also engage in play with him and he enjoys that, I don't see a risk of training him into being a loner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't think there's any specific amount of time that he must achieve, or avoid. That would entirely depend on the personality of the child and his surroundings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T14:21:29.537" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1846" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1847" CreationDate="2011-06-08T15:15:36.817" Score="6" ViewCount="4626" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 month old has been a very good eater since we started feeding her solids at 6 months. She has been eating all sorts of things - she has 8 teeth, so has no trouble eating most table foods. She'd had nearly every vegetable and fruit that we've been eating for the last 2-3 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, for the past couple of days she is refusing all food. Last night, she wouldn't eat anything but a few slices of watermelon for dinner. This morning, she refused her regular cereal. I still nurse her once a day (she was nursing full time until 6 months, and at least 4-5 months at 8 months, but now it's just 1-2 a day); however, my milk supply seems to be drying up. When she is hungry, all she seems to want is breastmilk, but it seems to cause frustration for her because she empties it very quickly and/or nothing comes out. She'll keep crying but continue to reject any other food that we offer her. Usually she loves eating applesauce, carrots, squash, rice, lentils, peas, yogurt - but now she isn't having any of that. She has always refused formula / anything from a bottle. We always give her fluids from a normal cup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite her light or non-existent meals, she had four bowel movements (although darker than usual, but that could be blueberries) and enough wet diapers. However, she seems to be very lethargic/exhausted. She isn't her playful self and seems frustrated most of the day. She isn't sleeping as much either. What can we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: Never found out what was wrong with her; she ended up with a 102F a couple of days later. We gave her tylenol upon our doctor's office's recommendation. After that she woke up and ate a large meal. Now she is getting better again. Seemed like that she was just sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:36:10.737" LastActivityDate="2016-07-07T05:00:32.323" Title="Why has my infant stopped eating?" Tags="|infant|feeding|eating|solids|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1846" CreationDate="2011-06-08T16:04:48.763" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it continues for three full days or more, or if she has a fever, see your family's doctor.  It could be anything from an illness to a food sensitivity, or something I haven't thought of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reduced appetite and unusual tiredness can be normal during a growth spurt, but normally kids sleep soundly when that's the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T16:04:48.763" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1829" CreationDate="2011-06-08T16:09:37.223" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, while it's not exactly the same circumstance I think it makes sense to look at the language development research around children of immigrants. What you'll find there is that the immigrants will either have very strong accents or won't be able to speak English at all while their children will be native English speakers with no foreign accent &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; will be native speakers of the foreign language without an accent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's clear from this that children will eventually get stuff &quot;right&quot; despite being around people who are doing it &quot;wrong&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By &quot;right&quot; I mean the dominate forms of the language in terms of frequency (hearing native English being spoken form you, their peers, people on the street, TV, radio) and authority (you are their parents and they will accept your corrections for English over any others).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T16:09:37.223" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1849" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-06-08T16:48:06.620" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The time we spend just having fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-06-08T23:42:06.920" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T23:42:06.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1850" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-06-08T16:48:06.620" Score="0" Body="The time we spend having fun." OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-06-08T23:42:06.933" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T23:42:06.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1851" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1853" CreationDate="2011-06-08T18:40:45.063" Score="12" ViewCount="99719" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 week old son has at least 1 diaper leak per day.  I am not 100% sure but the leak seems to always be along the top of the diaper, near the sides.  Initial reading tells me that this is a common problem overnight but in our case it is happening at any time of day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Are there any techniques, products or suggestions to prevent diaper leaks like this from happening?&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The laundry situation is busy enough as it is...  thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="461" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-06-08T19:01:51.273" LastActivityDate="2018-09-16T04:08:43.950" Title="How can I prevent diaper leaks with my newborn?" Tags="|newborn|diaper|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-06-08T18:46:31.000" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been using an iPad app &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.baby-connect.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Connect&lt;/a&gt;&quot; for about a week now.  It is useful for logging all the important things that need to be tracked with your new baby.  Lots of useful features included such as web-based access and the ability to share your records with caretakers, relatives, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's $5 in the App store if you decide to use the iPad / iPhone version but I think it's worth it.  The need it fills is similar to that of the Itzbeen timer that others suggested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="461" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T18:46:31.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1851" CreationDate="2011-06-08T19:01:25.877" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possibility is that the diaper is the wrong size.  Diaper leaks sometimes indicate that it is time to move on to a larger diaper (it can also indicate that the diaper is too big, but that should be fairly self-evident from putting the diaper on).  For a 2 week old, though, this seems unlikely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another reason for leaks is that the diaper is not being changed frequently enough.  Given how frequently newborns soil a diaper, this is a possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our son was first born, we ran into another complication with leaks.  We found that ensuring that his penis was aimed down when we put a new diaper on reduced the chance of a leaky diaper.  If it pointed up he would frequently leak out the top of the diaper, or occasionally through one of the legs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T19:01:25.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1851" CreationDate="2011-06-08T19:03:03.210" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had lots of diaper leaks in the beginning, and we tried a few different brands until we found one that worked well. As our infant grew, the story repeated itself and we switched to a different brand again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try a few, and see if that helps. Every brand and every size is different, and not all fit perfectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, make sure that the edges of the diapers (around the legs) are placed correctly and not tucked inwards. The edges should &quot;seal&quot; well if they're not tucked in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-08T19:03:03.210" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1822" CreationDate="2011-06-08T20:23:45.963" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the age of 3, I would have thought the things of most interest would be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child's social skills. At 3yo,&#xA;many children still do side-by-side&#xA;rather than interactive playing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child's verbal skills. Are they&#xA;clearly understandable?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child's emotional maturity. How&#xA;do they handle the day once they've&#xA;been dropped off. How do they handle&#xA;conflict with other kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I currently have a three year old in childcare. The questions I regularly ask the kinder teacher are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Who does he play with? This gives me&#xA;an idea of how he interacts with the&#xA;other kids plus lets me know whether&#xA;the teacher is paying attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How does he get on with the other&#xA;kids? If there are any issues with&#xA;fighting, this is when it would come&#xA;up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How well can you understand him? My&#xA;boy is bi-lingual so will change his&#xA;language to suit the person he's&#xA;talking to. By asking this question I&#xA;get a feeling for how his vocabulary&#xA;is going and it also explains to the&#xA;teacher than he is not speaking&#xA;gibberish, it's just another&#xA;language.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of intellectual development, you should see evidence of that at home. How the child interacts with her toys, how much she gets into books and stories. Does she sing songs she hears from pre-school (eg: my lad sings a mangled version of ABC, something we never taught him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO: the kid is 3 - as long as she is happy then things are going well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T03:18:56.220" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T03:18:56.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1856" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2291" CreationDate="2011-06-09T00:41:18.530" Score="4" ViewCount="628" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's an optimal strategy for storing pumped breast milk for using feeding &quot;emergencies&quot; (mom needs to leave the house for a few hours)? Ideally it would be FIFO but it seems like a waste to dump milk off the end of the queue every day. Obviously we could just feed a bottle to him once a day but my wife wants to minimize bottle time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another strategy would be to pump once a week or more as needed but that doesn't allow for much depth in the queue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like what we really want is to freeze a lot of milk, but without microwaving I imagine that it would take a long time to warm up the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be a good strategy? Or am I over-thinking this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:35:35.713" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T21:35:35.713" Title="What is the optimal way to store and use pumped breast milk?" Tags="|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1829" CreationDate="2011-06-09T01:33:55.600" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking from personal experience, I had a brief period where a babysitter spoke to me in another language when I was just learning to speak. My mother was surprised that I stopped speaking the few words that I had learned and started mumbling what was baby-gibberish to her. On a subsequent visit, the caregiver said, &quot;oh, he just wants a glass of water.&quot; I had learned to speak enough of the babysitter's language to communicate with her. However, I quickly learned how to communicate with my mother again. It's probably fair to assume that, if that babysitter had continued living in the same area and my family continued to have her take care of me, I would have been a pretty natural bilingual. My English abilities were certainly not irreparably harmed and I certainly don't have the slightest accent, nor any hint of non-native speech patterns, that can be traced to that experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My understanding is that children raised in multilingual environments tend to have an easier time developing a broader range of communication skills. I have personally found that intentional study of foreign language in high school and college improved my understanding of English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are living in the US and I am a native speaker of English. My wife speaks Japanese to our son. I speak a mixture of English and mediocre Japanese. He's not quite old enough to speak intelligibly, but we fully expect to raise him bilingual. If I were a little more adventurous, I'd speak German with him and try to help him pick up three languages. We're fairly confident that my poor Japanese won't irreparably harm his ability to speak proper Japanese, though obviously I can't guarantee anything; I also had a few Spanish and Portuguese speaking caregivers who spoke English to me and I can say I didn't pick up a trace of Spanish speech patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have some friends in similar circumstances to us with a pretty wide variety of results. Less social parents found that their children's speech tended to develop a bit later than parents who spent more time with people outside of home, but generally, there is no &quot;harm&quot; from speaking two languages to young children. Some of our friends' children are a bit willful and reject speaking the non-dominant language but will generally understand what their parents are saying without any trouble. Presumably, because few, or none, of their friends speak Japanese, they refuse to use Japanese even with their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A fair number of studies have demonstrated that most children learn &quot;code switching&quot; and are generally able to distinguish between languages. Over time, they figure out which contexts are suitable for which language. In practice, I've found that in languages I'm most comfortable with, with the appropriate audience, I can incorporate phrases or brief interludes from the language that is most comfortable for whatever thought I wish to express, so this does not surprise me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1105" LastActivityDate="2011-06-09T01:33:55.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1856" CreationDate="2011-06-09T02:32:39.507" Score="4" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You should never microwave the milk.&#xA;The only way to warm up the milk is&#xA;under warm running water which takes&#xA;some time but it is acceptable. There&#xA;are special bags available for&#xA;freezing milk which contain enough&#xA;for one feeding. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the baby is less than 6 weeks old&#xA;you wife should not express milk&#xA;unless absolutely necessary in order&#xA;not to cause oversupply issues which&#xA;can lead to mastitis.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also bottle&#xA;feeding sometimes (not always!) can&#xA;lead to nipple confusion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Freshly expressed milk can stay in&#xA;the fridge up to eight days&#xA;(http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/milkstorage.html,&#xA;this is the best site for all things&#xA;breastfeeding).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said all that the best strategy would be to minimize the number of times the bottle will be needed, to plan in advance for the times when expressed milk will be needed and express one or two days in advance. Alternatively you could have an &quot;emergency&quot; bottle in the fridge and refresh it every week or so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-06-09T02:32:39.507" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1859" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1861" CreationDate="2011-06-09T09:06:00.460" Score="14" ViewCount="78118" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Asking this one anonymously, I don't want the police coming round to arrest me!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a few weeks, we've got a long drive to go on vacation. Because our youngest is pretty unbearable on long car journies, we're intending to drive by night. The problem is that sitting up in their car seats, they're very uncomfortable, their heads roll around everytime we go round a corner, and also I'm not too sure how safe they are with their necks totally relaxed like that, in case of a collision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... what I'm wondering about is waiting till they're sleeping, and then lying them down 'somehow': possibly by putting the seats flat and then stacking up the luggage first, then them behind - that way there's the luggage between them and the front seats, and no luggage behind to pile up on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Legalities aside, is there any way to do this 'safely'?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Ages 3 &amp;amp; 6)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt; (Lost my cookie, so doing anonymous edit): in the end, this was completely irrelevant, we put them in the car at 2 in the morning, and they nattered happily until about 6 when the youngest nodded off (still in her car seat). Seems that she got past the 'awkward' stage, so the return journey was in the day time, and no problems at all. Thanks to all, and especially to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/users/479/swati&quot;&gt;Swati&lt;/a&gt; for the direct personal account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1107" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2019-04-04T10:24:11.993" Title="How can I help my kids to sleep comfortably (and safely) on an overnight drive?" Tags="|safety|pre-schooler|travel|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1859" CreationDate="2011-06-09T09:41:27.147" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Altough my parents drove me everywhere whitout even a seatbelt, I would be very nervous driving my children around just lying in the back like that. If you've ever seen these awful fearmongering crash test dummy movies, you will realise in the case of a serious accident everything, luggage, children, any loose object,... will fly everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the youngest: I would keep him in the car seat. My child is about the same age and she seems to sleep quite well and comfortable in her carseat if she has a little cushion to put around the back of her head to support her neck and the sides of her head. There's also a lot less painful looking 'wobbling' of her head. I don't know if she would stay comfortable a whole night though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't help you with the six year old, I'm afraid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastActivityDate="2011-06-09T09:41:27.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1859" CreationDate="2011-06-09T10:48:19.077" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No, there is no way to &lt;em&gt;safely&lt;/em&gt; do what you describe.&lt;/strong&gt; Please keep your children in their seatbelts and child seats at all times. I understand what you're trying to achieve, but even if you find a working solution, the risks are immense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sitting upright with a relaxed head in a collision &lt;strong&gt;is safe&lt;/strong&gt;. So to speak, if the head has already fallen forward &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; you hit that tree, then the head will have less chance to accelerate during the crash. What I mean to say is: children sleeping is not a &lt;em&gt;safety&lt;/em&gt; concern as long as they're in their seatbelts / child seats. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted -- it doesn't look comfortable, but that's another matter. Don't replace safety with comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your suggested placement of the luggage and the children assumes a frontal collision, but what you may not realize is that during a frontal collision, items will not only move &lt;em&gt;forward&lt;/em&gt; but also &lt;em&gt;upward&lt;/em&gt;, so your kids would essentially come flying over your heads, in between flying luggage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, your suggestion only addresses &lt;em&gt;frontal&lt;/em&gt; collisions, but there are many other kinds. Side impact, or even tumbling headlong or sidelong down a slope. Don't begin to imagine what happens then, it's not good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What you can do&lt;/strong&gt; is work with the children in their seatbelts: inflatable neck pillows do help some, though it's not a perfect solution. Some child seats can also be tilted backward (actually the seat moves forward but the shoulders stay back) which may keep the head from falling forward. If the children don't have child seats, try a pillow in the back, in essence to move the shoulders forward a little bit so that the head can fall a little further back (so it won't fall forward).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, let them figure it out by themselves. Either they'll find a comfortable position half asleep, or they might stay awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-09T10:48:19.077" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1859" CreationDate="2011-06-09T11:03:15.003" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No way&lt;/strong&gt; I would (or you should) let the children lie in the car without seat belt or even put them between luggage, which could move and sqash them in case of an accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And - as torgengb correctly remarks, there are many alternatives to a frontal collision with very different effect on deformation of the car and movements of luggage and people inside!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even if the luggage is in front of them as long as you drive normally, you can never know what happens in case of a crash, as you can not guarantee that everything is fixed so tightly at its position that it can impossibly move during an accident! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;-&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; The solution with the least risk for injury are the child seats!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;what you can do is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use pillows to support the neck&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;incline the child seat in a sleeping position, if it has one&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try to split up the long journey by making a stop somewhere&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be careful to avoid accidents (although you use the child seats)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child seats are so uncomfortable, maybe you can borrow a more comfortable seat just for the duration of the trip?&#xA;At our national automobile club (in Germany) it is possible to borrow child seats for some days or weeks. (However, I fear that it might not be much cheaper than buying one, if its not only for one or two days.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-06-09T11:12:37.327" LastActivityDate="2011-06-09T11:12:37.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2011-06-09T14:46:52.703" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not certain about my answer because my recent experience of school (as a parent) is in the UK and my childhood experience of school was in Canada.  But I would say that here what we call Reception (when they are 4-5) is only tangentially about academic learning (though they do learn to read and write and add and subtract) The purpose of the year is to get kids working comfortably with their peers and with teachers.  There's a lot on talking and listening, respecting each other, group dynamics, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you start with 1st grade the other children will have had a year getting to know each other. So your child (likely to be a bit of an outsider from being gifted (from personal experience)) may feel further outside from jumping into an established peer group who have spent time learning to be with each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its no harm spending some time learning how to cope with people who aren't as bright as you - school is about much more than academic skills&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1110" LastActivityDate="2011-06-09T14:46:52.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2011-06-09T15:26:56.453" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents' ego size increases by 10%-25%. (&quot;Our kid's a genius! We must have great genes&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child feels out of age with new kids around him/her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;older kids (all of them) may give him a hard time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no real gain in gaining a year's advantage once you skip a grade, you're doomed to always be the &quot;youngest&quot; around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hit college at 16? the 18 year old female students won't give you the time of day. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your 18 year old male peers will always view you as an outsider.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't even want to think about the dangers of a 16 year old female student in college surrounded by 18 year old guys...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd keep the child with his own age group. The academic world can wait a year or two so that a child can have a normal childhood and normal social life development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastEditorUserId="601" LastEditDate="2011-06-09T15:32:29.697" LastActivityDate="2011-06-09T15:32:29.697" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2011-06-09T17:59:17.997" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my child's experience plus a 2 day conference on parenting gifted child I attended this year:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is &quot;gifted&quot; then they may well find their natural age group is limiting. It's not just they'll always be at the top of the class, but they'll be bored with what is being taught. An extreme case of this is the kid who reads books while his friends are learning the alphabet. Schools are rarely able to cope with a child like this, especially since the teachers concentrate their efforts on the bottom end of the bell-curve. This can lead them to not learn as much as they could or to be a disruptive student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another aspect to consider is the social development. Gifted children tend to want to play more advanced games with their peers. They'll create a complex set of rules whereas their friends just want to run around. They can them find themselves left out socially or playing childish games for which they have little interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of the social bonds are forged when school starts (prep in Australia, don't know the US system). This is as much to do with the parent who meet each other. Skipping that first year may be difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is that well advanced, I would consider skipping a grade. 12 years of school is a long time to be bored. You'd want to speak to the school about it but I have that schools tend to be against it. Keep in mind, a gifted child is 1 in a 1000 so an average school may only have one or two of them -  it is not something teachers deal with often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case of our child, she is well advanced in reading/writing but not so much in maths. She can be overly emotional (common in gifted children). We did not think it would have worked for her to skip a grade but we've had to put in extra effort to ensure school is not boring for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-06-09T17:59:17.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1866" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1869" CreationDate="2011-06-09T19:34:32.930" Score="9" ViewCount="4296" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was trying to find out the best way to potty train our son, since I know boys sometimes have a harder time learning than girls. I was thinking of just teaching him to sit when he is ready to start to try, and then later teach him how to stand when he could control himself better. Is this a good idea and could it help him? Or could this make it harder for him later?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="369" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-25T16:39:11.577" LastActivityDate="2015-08-26T19:00:48.043" Title="What is the best way to potty train a little boy?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1866" CreationDate="2011-06-09T23:11:22.077" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is 2 and a half and he has peeing pretty much mastered.  He occasionally has accidents, but is on his way.  We started with him sitting down and he does much better that way.  When we introduced the idea of peeing outside, standing up became the thing to do.  When he is inside we will give him the choice, but he has much better aim sitting down which saves on clean up.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boys tend to take longer to potty train because of the physical development.  We tried pushing the &quot;Big Boy Underwear&quot; idea for a while.  He wanted to make it happen, but just kept having accidents and getting really upset.  We would go back to diapers and try again in a couple weeks.  After a few rounds, he pretty much mastered peeing in one weekend.  We let him go naked for three days, at least from the waist down and he was on his way.  We pretty much went cold turkey into big boy underwear when he showed that he was ready and able to keep them dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We still have a diaper at nap time and bedtime, but mostly because that is when he tends to poo.  When he has an accident, we never say, &quot;That's ok...&quot;  We just tell him that our pee/poop go in the potty.  Good luck and remember to move at his pace.  Everyone figures it out eventually.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-25T16:42:19.280" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T16:42:19.280" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2011-06-10T07:53:27.747" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Without knowing much about your son and not being an expert on this, I say push to skip kindergarten.  I'll try and summarize our situation and why I feel that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a 5 year old son in kindergarten right now, but I asked for him to skip into 1st grade at the beginning of the school year.  Obviously they said no.  I guess we were lucky to even get him into kindergarten at 4, but I felt that he wouldn't be stimulated given their curriculum.  It's not that he was doing really advanced things yet, I just knew he was extremely curious and smart.  They assured me he would be academically stimulated (without having met him) and social this and social that...  So I said fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Turns out this school is absolutely amazing, his teacher, the principal, the district executives, everyone just really cares.  My son enjoys school (it's only a little over 3 hours long including 2 recesses and lunch though).  He does learn some things in school, like facts about plants and animals, telling time, money, etc.  But I chose to enroll him in an after school academic program called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kumon.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Kumon&lt;/a&gt; to get the 1 hour/day academic stimulation I wanted for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's done extraordinarily well in Kumon as he's literally gone from 1+1 in math to where he'll be doing calculus in several months.  He's starting 4th grade reading, so not nearly as advanced as math, but nevertheless we are extremely proud of our boy.  However, he still behaves like a kindergartener.  So focusing, sitting still and just getting his work done can be very challenging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So why do I feel you should push for 1st grade when my son has had a great year with an incredible school and astonishing academic achievements while going through kindergarten?  First, after having read many studies on brain development, I'm a big believer in stimulating or exercising your mind at an early age.  So your son will not get that in kindergarten to any great depth.  And if you supplement his education (particularly easy if kindergarten is only 3 hours) like we did, then you just make it more difficult to be stimulated the next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also feel social and behavioral development in kindergarten is overrated.  Sure, it's helpful and our son has formed great friendships, but we can get that through playdates and being with older kids as well.  Behavioral development is hard to push, it just comes with age (we hope).  And kids will behave like the kids around them.  I'm not worried about our son being around older kids as he progresses through school.  For all this talk about social needs, schools really are mostly about academics.  As far as dating and friends your son's own age, nothing precludes that outside of school.  High school and then college sports will be an issue, so you have to ask yourself how much that matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is still only in kindergarten and we don't have older kids to draw experience from... so I'm open to being completely wrong about all this :).  Those are simply my thoughts given where we are today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="992" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T07:53:27.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1739" CreationDate="2011-06-10T08:04:04.090" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you have to push to get the best education for your child.  Great teachers with the best intentions don't always know what's best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, you may simply try different approaches to teaching fractions.  I don't know exactly how you're going over them with your daughter, but if she's advanced or gifted in everything else then this shouldn't be difficult.  Are you getting frustrated and maybe that's making your daughter frustrated?  Have you tried a different math book or workbook?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="992" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T08:04:04.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1866" CreationDate="2011-06-10T08:13:19.233" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no experience with my son yet, but I would imagine that &lt;strong&gt;sitting down is the easiest (cleanest, least frustrating for all) to train&lt;/strong&gt; and should be the only focus until that's mastered. Only then (and outdoors) would I train standing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T08:13:19.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1873" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1882" CreationDate="2011-06-10T09:24:04.387" Score="15" ViewCount="22264" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We have so far not allowed our toddler (20-months) any foods that contain sugar&lt;/strong&gt; (chocolate, cake, sweets, sweetened juice, etc.) on the premise that consuming sugar is not &lt;em&gt;needed&lt;/em&gt; and only causes trouble for the parents, in terms of risks of making the child a picky eater, trouble at mealtime caused by sweets in between meals, and health concerns like tooth decay. This also means that we politely turn down any sweets offered to the child by third parties. (It's amazing how rudely insistent strangers (e.g. waitresses) can be!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do allow normal healthy foods that taste sweet, like fruits and teas, but no fruit juices and no deliberately sweetened foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously we can't keep our son sugarless forever, and don't aim to anyway. So my question is this:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Until what age does it make sense to avoid sugar?&lt;/strong&gt; Why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what strategies are effective to postpone the introduction of sugars?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Come to think of it, one could ask almost the exact same question about spices. They're not unhealthy of course, but they're only needed for &lt;em&gt;taste&lt;/em&gt; and therefore carry the same potential of causing a picky eater.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-10T12:15:57.007" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T06:54:24.850" Title="When to allow children to consume sugar/candy/sweets/junk?" Tags="|toddler|food|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1874" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1875" CreationDate="2011-06-10T13:20:58.993" Score="19" ViewCount="24993" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a large amount of the time if our baby is crying I can stick her on my shoulder or my knee and bounce or rock her (gently), and she will calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does this work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She gets bounced a lot when she is with me. One thing I thought recently is maybe it makes her quiet because she gets scared (similar to the effect a fairground ride has) - which would not be good.. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I doing her development any harm, perhaps by overstimulating her or suppressing some natural urge?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastActivityDate="2018-06-07T14:52:12.250" Title="Why do babies like to be bounced?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1874" CreationDate="2011-06-10T13:36:41.930" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think babies find gentle bouncing or rocking soothing because it reminds them of time in the womb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and used to joke about how we would both find ourselves rocking back and forth after our son was born, even when we weren't holding him.  What was even more amusing was when we would go to the pediatricians office, and see other new parents doing exactly the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So long as you are rocking or bouncing gently, you are doing nothing wrong.  Rather than suppressing some natural urge, you are actually employing a very normal and natural soothing technique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T13:36:41.930" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1874" CreationDate="2011-06-10T13:37:19.340" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well there's the explanation that children associate being bounced or rocked with being carried around by their mother, which assures them their mother is close and, thereby, that they are safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's natural to rock babies (gently, as you say) to get them calm, so I can't believe it does them any harm, developmental or otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="119" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T13:37:19.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1856" CreationDate="2011-06-10T14:08:23.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's quite simple. Freezing is the best way to store longer time (make sure it's a proper 3 or 3+ star freezer, preferably not an &quot;auto defrosting&quot; one). The most convenient way to store is to use those plastic ice-cube bags as they allow you to portion the milk. For warming, it's most easy to put the cubes in a (most easily wide neck) bottle. Put the bottle in an oversized cup with boiled water. Turn the bottle around the water in swirling motions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when possible, just let the milk defrost in the bottle in the fridge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1117" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T14:08:23.940" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1846" CreationDate="2011-06-10T14:33:52.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably she has discovered the joy of free will. Unfortunately the discovery of free will precedes the discovery of responsibility by years. At the same time, kids often have breaks in between their growth spurts that slow down their dietary requirements significantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately you now need to teach that free will is not freedom to do whatever she wants, and at the same time you don't want to put off your daughter of eating. What we tended to do with our kids at that time was to basically offer two options: The food provided, or nothing. And if they were hungry in the middle, the food was there. Kids don't starve themselves. Really.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1117" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T14:33:52.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="381" CreationDate="2011-06-10T14:41:56.920" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I did not skip a year, I was born at the exact boundary for the year splitup. While I never had any intellectual problem to stay ahead, emotionally I was not that advanced, and sometimes just didn't get what other kids were on about (esp. concerning things like sexuality). To me it is striking a balance. Also think about a year being very long for a 4 years old. Do you want her to be bored and unchallenged for another year? My (almost 5 years old) started school last September and he was absolutely more than ready. He is doing very well in his class (he is much better socially than me, he got it from his mother I guess) and would have absolutely be bored to death had he waited another year (He is from June, so also rather young to start).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1117" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T14:41:56.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-06-10T17:59:29.320" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When he is on a tantrum, turn away. do not watch, do not relate, do not respond, do not react &lt;strong&gt;and definitely do not spank&lt;/strong&gt;. Train your brain to think he phases out of existence when he starts the tantrums and phases in again when he stops. After a while he will lose the incentive to start tantrums, which are really really a spectacular all-cylinder-firing, 3-ring-circus &quot;Hey! all attention to me!&quot; technique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not easy, but it's a sure and safe way to deal with tantrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T17:59:29.320" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1873" CreationDate="2011-06-10T19:33:27.403" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say, when your child starts asking for something you deem sweet or junk. For example, if you are at a party, and everybody eats a cake and you son seems interested, give him a small piece. Not doing so might potentially create an opposite result to the one you are trying an achieve: forbidden fruit is much testier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might even find that your son will not be interested in all sweets and junk: my friend has a kid who does not like cakes and cupcakes. My son (he is four) does not like soda (coca-cola, etc), he did not like it when he tried it (at a party, we don't keep these drinks at home),  and he does not crave junk foods even though he had a chance to taste some of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son starts asking for the stuff at home, introduce rules like one cookie after dinner, no snacks before meal, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, keep in mind, that kids become more picky around age two. One of the reasons is that they don't need as much food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T19:33:27.403" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-06-10T21:44:53.990" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it really depends on the kid, but one thing that has worked with our youngest is to have them give up a toy. If they are in an uncontrollable state, we let him know that if he doesn't calm down in x minutes, then he's going to have to choose one of his toys to donate (or you could just have the toy go on 'timeout').&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even the act of having to pick out an old McDonalds toy he hasn't played with in years at the bottom of his toy box is enough to give him pause. It's worked fairly well with us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T21:44:53.990" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="381" CreationDate="2011-06-10T21:54:00.167" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't add much more to Rhea's answer. Hold them back if you want them to have an advantage in physical activities. Enroll early if you want them to have an advantage in their education. And in either case, make sure they are at an emotional maturity for the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We struggled with this decision with our youngest boy. In terms of genes, I knew he likely wouldn't be a linebacker, and he really wasn't being challenged enough at preschool. He took too kindergarten immediately and has since excelled at his studies. As for sports, it turned out that he wasn't really into the team sports thing anyways and has found plenty of sports he enjoys that aren't tied to Americanized rituals of highschool (ie, football, baseball, hockey or basketball) so the size issue isn't even there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He hasn't quite hit puberty yet, and that will be the likely next area that might cause some friction with him being the youngest in the class. Fingers crossed that we'll make it through that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for me, personally, I was also younger than most of my classmates. I did well at school but, in hindsight, I was probably always the more immature one socially. I can't say that my parents holding me back a year would have helped or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, I think as long as you are a good parent (and you are if you are worrying about this) then that's all that really matters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T21:54:00.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1873" CreationDate="2011-06-10T23:18:26.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When to let your child try junk food isn't nearly as important as how you eat in general and making sure that you not only limit junk food, but don't treat every other food as simply a way to get to dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, if you've established good eating habits as the norm, you don't keep tons of sweets around the house, and in your and your child's mind junk food is an occasional treat, sweets will only ever become a big deal if you change your stance on any of those things, or if they are spending a lot of time with someone who eats very poorly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-06-10T23:18:26.913" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1886" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2142" CreationDate="2011-06-11T02:50:10.653" Score="3" ViewCount="31055" Body="&lt;p&gt;Right now, my wife is having a 7 month pregnancy. :D&#xA;Everytime we see our baby through USG when we visit our doctor, our baby looks very calm. He only made a simple movement such as chewing.&#xA;Will my boy be a calm/introvert boy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T15:19:45.603" LastActivityDate="2012-10-07T11:12:04.737" Title="Is a fetus's level of activity a good way to predict their personality?" Tags="|infant|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2011-06-11T04:18:54.360" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;two remarks at first (especially for people who consider spanking a helpful way for dealing with tantrums or do not see an alternative):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to find out about the &lt;strong&gt;Giraffe language&lt;/strong&gt; concept (&lt;em&gt;compassionate communication&lt;/em&gt;, sometimes also known as &quot;&lt;em&gt;non-violent communication&lt;/em&gt;&quot;) developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg.&#xA;I don't know good sources in english. I bought a 3-DVD-set with a seminar held by M. Rosenberg and already watching it (and him) was very helpful for better understanding others (also children) and better knowing how to deal with them and their wishes and needs.&#xA;By a quick google search I found this link - maybe it helps you to find videos (highly recommended!) or books by Rosenberg:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.listeningway.com/giraffe.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.listeningway.com/giraffe.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshall_Rosenberg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshall_Rosenberg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I discovered this concept some months ago and I am far from always and everywhere using it, but every little step helps getting along better with others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;non-violent&quot; does not mean that you have to sustain or tolerate everything, that others want - no way! But it helps to better express &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; needs and to better find out what need does the other person make him do what he currently does.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(Maybe he does not know or is not conscious himself at the moment, why he does what he does and that should be especially true for small children.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second suggestion:&#xA;There are some very interesting books about raising kids by the Danish Author &lt;strong&gt;Jesper Juul&lt;/strong&gt;, who also focusses on better communication and understanding what the child really wants and needs (which again does not mean that the parents have to do everything the child wants, but on the contrary that the parents also must take care of themselves and their relationship to create a positive atmosphere at home).&#xA;-&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jesperjuul.com/forside_uk.asp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.jesperjuul.com/forside_uk.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also recommend searching for listening to or watching interviews with him (available on the net), as his ideas and points of view are very &quot;illuminating&quot; IMHO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son has a very strong will and he can be extremely bullheaded (I hope it's the right term, I took it from the dictionary).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very difficult to deal with such a tantrum and we had and have lots of them. IMHO:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Never react with violence!!&lt;/strong&gt; - spanking is never a good solution for a problem or argument - neither with other adults nor with a child.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Imagine what your child learns: &quot;If somebody does not do what I want, I'll hit him.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take a deep breath&lt;/strong&gt; - this helps you to not get angry that quickly, and on the other hand it might show your child that (a) you have found a way to control your emotion and (b) that it might be the right time to stop what he/she does.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Sometimes when I really really would love to scream at my son as he is driving me nuts, I manage to take a very deep breath (which he can even hear when he does not see me at the moment) and sometimes (not always) he then knows that he's gone to far and might calm down a bit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be consequent&lt;/strong&gt;: if the child once learned that he/she got what he/she wanted by a tantrum, it will try again this &quot;successful concept&quot;. So IMHO it should never get what it otherwise would not have got by screaming or a tantrum.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk&lt;/strong&gt; Try to explain him/her, when he/she has calmed down: we can discuss everything in a friendly way, but you will not get everything &quot;more&quot; by screaming or rolling on the floor in the supermarket.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Distraction&lt;/strong&gt; sometimes works. I think that works for some children better, however with our son it was and is very difficult: if he once is on the &quot;frustration route&quot;, it is very hard to get him back to &quot;normal&quot; friendly behavior.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think, the child has to learn how to deal with his frustration.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You can and should help him/her by showing, how you do that yourself (and spanking is a good example for showing how &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to do it!) and you can try to explain him better ways for &quot;discussing&quot; that he wants other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And (as others also suggested): Proposing (a limited number of) alternatives may help showing the child that he/she can decide what he/she wants to eat/drink and that not everything in life is decided by the parents - which (the latter) I could imagine leads to a feeling of helplessness and frustration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-06-11T20:45:43.730" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T20:45:43.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1843" CreationDate="2011-06-11T10:01:36.913" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a good research based article on the importance of supervised play:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/preschool-social-skills.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com/preschool-social-skills.html&lt;/a&gt;  In short, kids play better when parents model different social skills.  Too much time with peers can actually undermine behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But 8 months is really young.  My understanding of the research is that until about age 3, kids mostly engage in something called parallell play.  They play along side one another but not really with one another.  More on parallell play here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parallel_play&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parallel_play&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You asked if there are advantages to solo play.  I'm fuzzier on what the research says here, but concentration and enjoyment of self-identified tasks is a virtue.  See: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi on flow (TED.com)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1125" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T10:01:36.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-06-11T10:22:14.470" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A doorway bouncer is great fun and exercise&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/N10Db.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&#xA;..once the baby is big enough to fit. They seem to love it. We've put both our kids in them and they just love going boing-boing-boing for (literally) up to an hour. You can't leave them unattended, but certainly it is entertaining for them while you do other things nearby (&lt;em&gt;meaning&lt;/em&gt; tidy up, cuddle wife, prepare food, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="18" LastEditDate="2011-06-11T10:36:04.917" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T10:36:04.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-06-11T10:35:26.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A sit-in Activity Centre is great fun&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/IPp1q.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Look at how much fun this baby is having :-)&quot;&gt; we found that our children and all their friends absolutely love this type of &lt;strong&gt;sit-in&lt;/strong&gt; activity centre. The particular one we got was based on different genres of music and would play Salso, Tango, Rumba and Disco tunes when the baby worked out what keys to press. Each child got a different tune based on the combination of keys, microphone and turntable they played with, so it was quite varied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a dad hack because it keeps baby entertained and safe in one place while you do whatever you need to nearby them - e.g. it's a &lt;em&gt;hands-free device&lt;/em&gt; :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T10:35:26.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="709" CreationDate="2011-06-11T12:44:22.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you need age-appropriate rules, so your children will understand and remember them. For example, &quot;You are not allowed to go swimming without mommy or daddy&quot; for a 3 year old,  or &quot;No horsing around near the pool&quot; for a 6 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, sign them up for swimming lessons, unless you're planning to hold them in your arms for the next several years whenever you're in the pool. In the long term, this is how you prevent drowning. Classes for children will emphasize water safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, CPR is very effective when performed by nurses and paramedics who do it for a living. It is rather less effective when performed by people who took a 2-hour class a few years ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1127" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T12:44:22.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1886" CreationDate="2011-06-11T13:13:59.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's hard to give a conclusive answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother told me when my she was carrying me, that she could feel that I would be a calm boy, unlike by brother. Indeed I was and still am much calmer than my brother. This was something my mother could feel by carrying me around in her womb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt that a few USG sessions will give you the same idea. Maybe you should instead ask your wife how she perceives your boy. She is the one carrying him around after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user75" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T13:13:59.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1893" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1896" CreationDate="2011-06-11T17:46:44.650" Score="11" ViewCount="7503" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1873/when-to-allow-children-to-consume-sugar-candy-sweets-junk&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;, I think it would be interesting to hear opinions on use of spices in foods for toddlers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we prepare meals, we add the seasoning/spices fairly late. This allows us to prepare some of the not-yet-seasoned food and prepare it for our toddler. We will then add spices to the rest of the food and finish cooking. I think the baby food we make is too bland for my (adult) taste, but then again the baby food you can buy in small jars is bland too. One reason is that small children should not consume too much salt. Another reason is that the child should have an honest chance to learn what the individual parts actually taste like: vegetables, potatoes, meats, all have distinct tastes that would be somewhat camouflaged behind seasoning. I'm sure my wife can think of a few more reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So just like the sugar question, this begs the question:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;When to introduce spices/seasonings into a toddler's diet? Why &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not deliberately taking any extreme stance; I am not asking &lt;em&gt;why allow children to experience spices.&lt;/em&gt; I do believe that children have a right to experience spices at some point, just as much as they ought to learn the foods' individual tastes. But &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt;? And why &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2017-12-10T02:05:39.360" Title="When should we  allow children to experience spices in food?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1886" CreationDate="2011-06-11T18:06:26.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not aware of any studies or even rumors that calm fetuses make for calm babies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal experience is similar to yours, our son was very calm during ultrasound. But believe me: he is anything &lt;em&gt;but&lt;/em&gt; calm in the outside world...! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T18:06:26.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1893" CreationDate="2011-06-11T18:14:45.380" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Using spices doesn't preclude learning the tastes of component foods -- remember, not every meal has to be prepared the same way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once a child is out of the blended-to-death baby food stage, and eating what the family eats, I'd really feed him what the family eats, how we prepare it.  I'd try to make that pretty varied -- we all have favorite comfort foods, but at least once a week I'd try to make something new and different, or at least something we haven't had in a long while.  All kids will have picky phases, but in my experience if they are used to variety it's less likely that those will be the norm instead of &quot;just phases&quot;.  And, of course, like adults they will just plain dislike some foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T18:14:45.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1893" CreationDate="2011-06-11T18:36:03.040" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I don't really think it makes sense to spend much effort preparing special food for the child at any age, so I tend to agree with Matthew Amster-Burton's guidance from his book Hungry Monkey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it makes sense, we reduce the salt content of our infant's food by mixing it with blander ingredients (mainly rice, potatoes, or perhaps beans that haven't been heavily seasoned). For less heavily salted food, we don't even go that far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son's been eating that way since he was about 6 months old. When our doctor suggested slowly introducing solid foods between 4 and 6 months, we mostly gave him things like rice porridge with small amounts of food pulled from something I was cooking prior to salting or seasoning, but I now very rarely pull food aside except if I plan to use an unusual level of seasoning, and he's about 9 months old now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of the way I cook, many dishes I make tend to focus on the natural flavor of the ingredient I'm cooking anyway, but I don't shy away from seasoning. I prepare familiar ingredients in several different ways anyway; even without an adjustment in seasoning, roasted vs. blanched vs. grilled vegetables will taste different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only seasoning other than salt that I'm a little cautious about is chilies, since they tend to leave a lingering burning sensation on the lips and skin that's uncomfortable for our son and most small children. So we don't give him chili-heavy food, but that's not to say he &quot;never&quot; consumes something with any chilies in it. Sometimes he quite enthusiastically eats things that have a touch of chili in them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my answer is essentially this: &lt;strong&gt;when you're using spices in your own food, it's fine to introduce them to your child&lt;/strong&gt;. No need to wait even as late as toddlerhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't ever bought baby food other than a couple of Japanese products that are essentially soft, easily masticable crackers which we mostly use as between-meal snacks. So I can't comment on purchased stuff much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But my thinking is pretty simple: We don't have the luxury of time to prepare completely separate meals, we don't really want to purchase special convenience foods just for him, and we want him to learn to adapt to the way we eat. Besides, pulling aside food before it's completely cooked sometimes results in harder to eat food because the vegetables may not become tender enough to eat without a little additional cooking time. I'm certainly willing to adapt food by chopping it more finely, using a mashing utensil, a blender, or mixing small amounts of heavily seasoned food with blander things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2015 addendum&lt;/strong&gt; After a few more years at this, I can say that both of our children went through a period of increased preference-driven behavior between age 2 and 3, but persistent exposure, cajoling and negotiation mean have resulted in children that mostly eat what we do, though they may prefer one or two dishes that we serve vs. others (my style of cooking typically involves 3-5 small dishes per meal, unless we're doing something like pasta). To be fair, our food has become a little less aggressively seasoned than I might have typically done 6 years ago, but my younger child just ate a ton of chili-lime spiced almonds tonight, so it's just a different percentage of the mix. I'm still a bit cautious about things involving heavy amounts of chilies, but both children will occasionally choose to eat some of those strongly-flavored things. Additionally, both children have markedly different favored vegetables and seasonings, and those preferences continue to change over time. We've also found that some things that might not go over well in one context are fine in another; the older one might reject mint or shiso leaves that are visible, but he'll eat mint chocolate ice cream or shiso/umeboshi furikake on rice. He'll eat a Japanese curry but rejects many Indian-style dishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1105" LastEditorUserId="1105" LastEditDate="2015-10-12T05:23:42.780" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T05:23:42.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1897" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-11T20:36:33.997" Score="7" ViewCount="2896" Body="&lt;p&gt;While my 14 years old sister goes to school, the courses doesn't help her much to learn English. They are mainly focused on reading and at the end of day, the students really have trouble in writing, listening, and of course speaking. Also, none of the family members have enough time/knowledge to teach her English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for a method to make learning English for her fun and interesting. A good example that she really liked was watching a comedy show named &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extr@&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Extr@&lt;/a&gt;. The show was somewhat entertaining for teenagers plus in the show the actors speak slow and clear which helps her to keep up with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you know any other method that can help a teenager to learn English?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1130" LastEditorUserId="1130" LastEditDate="2020-10-30T22:12:22.460" LastActivityDate="2020-10-30T22:12:22.460" Title="How can I make learning English fun for a teenager?" Tags="|teen|teaching|siblings|language|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1898" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1901" CreationDate="2011-06-11T20:51:09.580" Score="5" ViewCount="77258" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a baby who's just a few weeks old. I try to pump bottles occasionally, so that my baby will be used to the bottle, and also so that I have some mobility if it's really necessary. I'm having a difficult time deciding when to pump, though. I've found that the best time to pump, really, is right after I skipped a feeding (by giving a bottle). This is not always possible, though. Otherwise, I usually pump about a half-hour or so after a feeding, as I'm afraid to pump too close to the next one; I don't always get very much this way, though. When is the optimum time to pump?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I've been pumping for about 10 minutes at a time, 5 min each side. Is this recommended? Does pumping longer mean I'll express more, or once my milk slows down/stops am I not likely to get any more? What's the average time I should spend on a pumping session?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:31:02.877" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T15:21:19.967" Title="When is the best time to pump breastmilk, and for  how long should I pump?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1897" CreationDate="2011-06-11T21:36:33.547" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hopefully someone else can chime in with TV suggestions... I wanted to recommend that having a pen-pal who is a fluent native English speaker can do worlds of good.  My 8yo son has a pen-pal about his age in Germany whose English has improved since they began to write one another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be happy to write to her (use &lt;a href=&quot;http://binaryredneck.net/contact&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;my blog's contact form&lt;/a&gt; to swap addresses) or you can post to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fountainpennetwork.com/forum/index.php?/topic/2314-snail-mail-writing-list/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;snail-mail thread&lt;/a&gt; on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fountainpennetwork.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Fountain Pen Network&lt;/a&gt; to help her find someone closer to her age and interests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T21:36:33.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1843" CreationDate="2011-06-11T22:25:45.060" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lucky you! Any child who learns to play on their own is exhibiting a secure attachment to their parent, and he is probably using you as a secure base, which means he'll explore or play on his own and every so often glance at you to make sure you're still there and approving of his activities.&#xA;  I don't know of any hard and fast rules about amounts of time, but one thing that you can always do is narrate the child's play.  Teachable moments at that age are pretty constant, and saying things like &quot;Oh, you picked up the red ball!&quot; will be teaching your baby colors and shapes, while still allowing him to dictate his play time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="507" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T22:25:45.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1898" CreationDate="2011-06-11T23:33:42.993" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The effectiveness of pumping varies from woman to woman, and the type/style of pump used (battery/AC/manual)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found it easiest to pump while I was nursing my son on the other breast.  I would pump for the same amount of time he nursed (anywhere between 10 minutes to a half hour).  I could usually pump between 4-5 ounces during that time, with more than one 'let down' of milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd personally recommend trying what I did; that way you still have the stimulation of him nursing on the other breast to encourage letdown, and you won't 'miss' feedings which could affect your milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-11T23:33:42.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1902" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1903" CreationDate="2011-06-11T23:56:18.613" Score="20" ViewCount="2028" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there any scientific evidence that non-harmful spanking does or does not exist? Furthermore, is it ever effective (whether or not it is harmful)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-20T12:10:15.610" LastActivityDate="2023-08-15T11:15:53.307" Title="Are there any reputable studies on spanking?" Tags="|research|corporal-punishment|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1902" CreationDate="2011-06-12T00:04:05.820" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/about/policy/corporal-punishment.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is the resolution on corporal punishment by the American Psychological Association.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The resolution includes this part: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Research has shown that the effective use of punishment in eliminating undesirable behavior requires precision in timing, duration, intensity, and specificity, as well as considerable sophistication in controlling a variety of relevant environmental and cognitive factors, such that punishment administered in institutional settings, without attention to all these factors, is likely to instill hostility, rage, and a sense of powerlessness without reducing the undesirable behavior&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This indicates that punishment can be used effectively.  However, there are a number of variables that make it generally impractical, as mishandling these variables will most likely result in severe negative consequences, in addition to failing to adjust the behavior as intended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately I do not have direct access to the research that the association referenced to arrive at this resolution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-03-27T12:41:46.863" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T12:41:46.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1866" CreationDate="2011-06-12T00:31:42.857" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that you will be better off having him sit than stand:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For little children the process of eliminating can take some time (they are still figuring out how all the muscles work). My own 5-year-old still doesn't know if he needs his bottom wiped without looking in the toilet to see what's he put in there. Standing up for a long time is much less likely than sitting, so sitting should take priority to help achieve the patience required.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Even at 5 my son's ability to control where his urine goes while standing up leaves something to be desired. It sounds like trouble in the making to even suggest standing up as an option for peeing to a very small child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Unless standing somehow motivates him more, there's no real benefit to it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, not related to your question but something that helped us: my son didn't become potty trained until I had answered all his mental reservations. I asked him very specifically if there was any reason he couldn't put all his poop only in the potty all the time, and he had some reasons, which I was able to answer. I asked this same basic question several different ways, and each way he responded with some objections that I was able to address. Lo and behold, within a week he was reliably using the potty with few accidents, whereas before he'd had very little success. So it's worth trying this for any parent who's having trouble. (One example was that he said it hurts, but I explained how it's &lt;em&gt;holding&lt;/em&gt; the poop that makes it hurt: &quot;You know how when you're hungry, eating makes you feel better, and not eating just makes the feeling of hunger worse? Well, when you have to go, it's getting the poop out of you that makes you feel better!&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This happened around his 4th birthday and was a bit like a light switch. So for any parent feeling discouraged, take heart. Your child will use the potty when he or she is ready. But sometimes you can jump-start the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T00:31:42.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1829" CreationDate="2011-06-12T00:43:20.510" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is not a native English speaker and has an accent (though lessening over time), and she is the primary care-giver during weekdays when I am at work. My son speaks like a native.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's sister is a far worse English speaker and much more heavily accented (and not improving), and furthermore her husband is a non-native English speaker as well, and guess what? Her son also speaks English like a native, with only the slightest hint of an &quot;exotic&quot; accent that is impossible to place as to its origins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus I don't think you have anything to worry about, because children can tell what is correct and what is not, as long as they have enough exposure to the correct thing. I realize that whether your child will get enough exposure to the correct thing is the aspect you are trying to figure out, but I think the quantity of correct exposure doesn't have to be as high as some people are saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read some research lately in the book &lt;em&gt;Nurture Shock&lt;/em&gt; about what kinds of language input helps children develop their language skills the best. Perhaps surprising, it was not the level of education of the parents, and not the quantity or quality of parental vocalizations. It was the amount of vocalization &lt;em&gt;in response&lt;/em&gt; to the child's own language-like verbalizations and the lack of conflicting input (not rewarding non-language-like child vocalizations). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generalizing, it appears that a child's language acquisition is a positive feedback loop that requires sufficient quantity of &lt;em&gt;right input&lt;/em&gt; and generally ignores &lt;em&gt;wrong input&lt;/em&gt; when it is not confusing. It is a conditioned response—when you reinforce the correct speech in a child, they produce more of it. Thus, if the right inputs are provided early, then development is early. While this research point may not be directly applicable to your question, I think it sheds light on the subject, and I think, based on my own experience, that accented English is not confusing input. (That is, it doesn't reinforce the wrong thing as long as the child gets the correct reinforcement elsewhere.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son occasionally pronounces words incorrectly, sometimes reflecting how he heard them from others (perhaps his mother). However, 90% of the time it only takes &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; correction by me for him to adopt the correct pronunciation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I don't think you have anything to worry about as long as you are properly interactive with your child during the time he is with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Five Years Later&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With five more years of experience (my son is now 10), I will say that he does pronounce words incorrectly once in a while, and does sometimes have trouble changing to the correct pronunciation. However, few of these came from hearing the word from his mother first—most of them came from his avid reading, where he picks a pronunciation based on his guess and then has trouble changing. I think I can safely say that the risk of a non-native speaker negatively affecting a child's pronunciation is no worse than equal to the child's risk of getting incorrect pronunciation from book-reading or any source of new words. He even occasionally mispronounces words I taught him, such as &lt;em&gt;philosophical&lt;/em&gt; (though I think he's learned that one, now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, he struggles to pronounce &lt;em&gt;nuclear&lt;/em&gt; as &lt;em&gt;NEW-clear&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;NEW-klee-er&lt;/em&gt; but instead slips into the common but atrociously awful &lt;em&gt;NEW-kyu-ler&lt;/em&gt;. That's just the fault of random English speakers everywhere, fie on them! At least he knows to say &lt;em&gt;lie down&lt;/em&gt; instead of &lt;em&gt;lay down&lt;/em&gt;... heehee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you can see the non-native-language-speaking-parent risk is not really worth worrying about—mispronunciation risks are everywhere!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an afterthought, it's worth adding that my son has always been home-schooled and so he spends even more time with his mother than most kids, and he still hasn't picked up incorrect pronunciations from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2017-12-28T00:43:03.900" LastActivityDate="2017-12-28T00:43:03.900" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="808" CreationDate="2011-06-12T01:02:52.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son didn't become potty trained until about his 4th birthday. I don't think it was his birthday, though, that did the trick. I think it was because I had answered all his mental reservations about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day I asked him very specifically if there was any reason he couldn't put all his poop only in the potty &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt;, and he came up with some reasons. I was able to answer them and take away his objections. I asked this same basic question several different ways, and each way he responded with some objections that I was able to address.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lo and behold, he was 90% better by the &lt;em&gt;next day&lt;/em&gt; and within a week he was reliably using the potty with few accidents, whereas before he'd had very little success. If you're having trouble, I think using a bit of psychology is worth trying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One example was that he said he couldn't use the potty because it hurts, but I explained that actually it's &lt;em&gt;holding&lt;/em&gt; the poop that makes it hurt: &quot;You know how when you're hungry, eating makes you feel better, and not eating just makes the feeling of hunger worse? Well, when you have to go, it's getting the poop out of you that makes you feel better!&quot; This made a lot of sense to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this still doesn't work, take heart. Your child will use the potty when he or she is ready. But sometimes you can jump-start the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing: the part about &quot;when he is ready&quot; is really the trick. You cannot force a child to use the potty. I think back when I was researching this due to my own concerns about his potty training, I read somewhere that the biggest impediment to children's potty is excessive parental coercion. Once it's a power struggle, the child is going to win it. Instead, make it his own choice so that he feels empowered by success in this area, instead of feeling like he lost a battle by using the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T01:02:52.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="594" CreationDate="2011-06-12T01:50:29.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Certainly social skills give a huge advantage in many pursuits, and it would be negligent to not explain their importance in getting them the opportunities they want in life, and trying to encourage development.  Flatly &quot;requiring&quot; things may just make them even more distasteful though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be that they're not essentially anti-social, but just that most social activities are boring to them (at least relative to what they could spend time doing on their own) and the activities in question just need a stronger foundation (other than for the &lt;em&gt;purpose&lt;/em&gt; of being social... I think I might avoid even mentioning that purpose). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps rather than looking for the typical social activities, begin by considering what their strongest interests are, then look for social opportunities related to those things in any way.  Ultimately, whatever they are interested in is probably the result of some other people's work... is there any way they can get closer to those people who have done or are doing what they are really interested in?  Or other kids who are interested in the same thing and might want to work together on it... they might form a club/interest group of their own around almost any subject, rather than joining someone else's.  (The possibilities obviously vary depending on what age range we're discussing.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[I don't know of any research in particular, but these answers do come from personal experience: I was rather anti-social mainly because I was bored out of my mind by it, and I did go on to form a lot of my own &quot;clubs&quot;, bands, etc. as a kid (then through HS, college, and beyond) to exert control over that boredom and keep my agenda interesting.] &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T01:50:29.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1908" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-12T01:57:50.370" Score="25" ViewCount="19080" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have one young toddler daughter and are pondering when (and if) she should have a younger sibling -- and  &lt;strong&gt;what age difference might work best for both of them.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For many (most) parents, what works for them is a major factor, but I have gone to a huge effort to prepare such that I'm ready to make whatever sacrifices I need to do what's best for my kids. I don't mind broadening the answers, but this question is specifically about the kid's angle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a huge amount of soft &quot;opiniony&quot; discussion of this stuff in various media, but I'm more interested in whether people know of any really scientifically &lt;em&gt;solid&lt;/em&gt; research that you think is useful to know (for example, data on stuff like 'success', not personality profiles); and what &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; personal experiences people have that illustrate difficulties (the less obvious/cliché the better) of certain age differences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(In our case, they will probably be primarily homeschooled... that probably changes some things, but the responses do not have to be limited to our situation.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any siblings? Or children? What are the age differences? Can you reflect on any specific problems in your experience that an empathic parent might want to take into account?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:30:07.557" LastActivityDate="2022-09-06T07:46:02.187" Title="What is the least problematic age difference between siblings?" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="327" CreationDate="2011-06-12T02:27:14.423" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps look for books for adult learners of English as a second language (ESL).  I think some libraries have separate sections for these and they may include simplified versions of adult stories. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T02:27:14.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1893" CreationDate="2011-06-12T06:46:59.170" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm taking an extreme stance, and asking why you should not let them experience spices? I know salt and sugar is bad, but I never heard about dill, cumin and pepper being bad for anyone. So I don't know why you wouldn't let them experience spices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Rant)&lt;/em&gt; I don't understand this aversion to letting kids food taste good. The ready food in Sweden especially is horrid, and tastes like absolutely nothing. Our daughter refuses to eat all the Swedish brands (Findus, Semper), and I totally agree, it is completely impossible to guess what it's made of, the food might just as well be made out of mushed up paper. (Thankfully Hipp is being sold in Sweden as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned in your earlier question that you don't want the kid to be a picky eater. I'd say a good time to introduce spices is when the kid doesn't want to eat bland food. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="907" LastEditDate="2011-06-14T16:39:29.793" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T16:39:29.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1893" CreationDate="2011-06-12T07:54:11.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the answer is:  Starting about Age 1-2, you will start letting the child taste the very mildest of the potentially sliiightly boldly-seasoned foods that you are already preparing for the older family members.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From that point on, it is simply a slow gradual evolution where you slowly allow more bolder seasonings onto the things that you give to the kid. Perhaps at age two and three-quarters (my daughter's current age) you are saying &quot;okay, this seems a tiny bit spicey, do you want a tiny taste?&quot; and if the kid is ready. Then, you gauge how fast forward you move along that evolution, based on (1) how the kid positively or negatively reacts to these baby steps, and (2) how the kid's digestion handles these foods a couple hours later!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in Thailand, and I've talked to our Thai nanny and asked her if a young thai toddler would be given green curry (which is one of the hotter curries that can often explode the mouths of foreigners.) She laughed and said no, no, not when they are young. Later on.  So, that showed me that spicy food is not purely some cultural relative variable, where an infant would be chomping peppers left and right. No sir, spicey food is objectively spicey, even in thailand, and kids wait until a little later to gradually arrive at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1134" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T07:54:11.417" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1443" CreationDate="2011-06-12T17:33:44.533" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Circumcision removes a huge portion of &lt;strong&gt;the most sensitive erogenous skin&lt;/strong&gt; a boy has. What possible reason could one have for doing that unless for religion? (As far as I know this means Jews and Muslims only, and, specifically, &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; Christians.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The arguments about hygiene are flat wrong. The foreskin, even after the synechiae attaching it to the glans have all released, houses what is more an internal organ than an external one, &lt;em&gt;just like in a female&lt;/em&gt;. Use of soap on the glans or foreskin, &lt;em&gt;just like its use inside a female's outer genitals&lt;/em&gt;, is more likely to cause an infection than anything else. Urine is sterile, and &lt;em&gt;just like in a female&lt;/em&gt;, helps wash out the foreskin. Any other washing should be done with plain water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, an intact foreskin may be attached and unretractable even up to age 18. If sexual activity is desired and it is still not fully retractable, some cream and gentle stretching will do the job. Forceful retracting is a source of pain and infections. Leave the penis alone, just like you leave a girl's genitals alone, and you will have fewer problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, the belief that circumcision has any material health benefits is just plain wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last, an intact foreskin provides a kind of mechanical lubrication that eliminates the need for artificial lubrication. Why would you destroy that? In my experience most circumcision proponents have NO CLUE how this actually works and thus can see no benefit to having a foreskin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find it sad that parents are cutting off an organ they do not understand the function of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2011-06-12T18:34:16.317" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T18:34:16.317" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1893" CreationDate="2011-06-12T18:13:42.747" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has always eaten the same food as we do on the table.  If it's something that's overtly spicy (Cajun Jambalaya - oh I know what I'm making for dinner tomorrow!) or salty, I'll put a smaller portion in a separate pot/pan/whatever and use less/no salt/hot spices on his.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to remember also that kids hit the 'picky' stage naturally between 2-4 as they're asserting themselves.  My son won't touch broccoli, leeks or spinach if it's boiled or steamed, but I can make a broccoli, leek and spinach soup from scratch and I'll have to fight to get some for myself.  Sometimes it's not the taste, but the texture they object to.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But basically, let him eat what you eat (modified for sodium/sugar/heat), and he'll learn to like food that has taste!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T18:13:42.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1893" CreationDate="2011-06-12T18:43:01.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We feed our kids the same food we eat, if they want to try it we let them taste a little bit if they don't like it we can tell from their expression right away.  We don't use a lot of salt anyway, just enough to add flavor when needed, but since we eat the same food we are more healthy for us and the kids.  Other spices are fine, I and my wife draw the line at anything spicy, even our 6 year old doesn't really like foods with lots of pepper, so we just add that ourselves afterwards.  I'd rather set a good example for our kids, and not get them in the habit of eating different than the rest of us, the family table is for us to get together and share the same meal - not individual choices.  I save that for the restaurant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said in the other thread, you can let your kids have things, just in moderation.  Salt is fine in moderation as well, but we really use little of it, although I grew up different I know what we should be doing.  So we lead by example and I'd rather set a good example for my kids than just teach them and do the opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T18:43:01.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1921" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2403" CreationDate="2011-06-12T19:23:05.057" Score="9" ViewCount="121647" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler isn't gaining weight, and our doctor told us to fix it. We stopped breastfeeding and she gained a kilo in just two weeks, but since then (soon two months) she hasn't gained anything again, possibly even lost a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The weather is fantastic and she is running around like crazy both inside and outside, which I'm sure isn't helping, but we need to get her to eat more, but she isn't really that interested (except in baby formula milk, which she loves, and gets during the night, the recommended 500-800ml).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything else seems fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:29:44.280" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T15:40:43.133" Title="How do we get our toddler to gain weight?" Tags="|toddler|nutrition|weight|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1897" CreationDate="2011-06-12T19:26:53.337" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try getting her a selection of books in English. It won't help her pronunciation but will do wonders for her vocabulary. Books are particularly useful since the child can pace herself, stop to check a dictionary, review different sentence structures and expressions. My 9yo is learning Turkish by reading books for a 3~6 year old plus attending classes - the combination works well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T19:26:53.337" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-06-12T19:41:20.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried ...?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tons of fruits (if she's not interested in regular food, at least sweet fruits might catch her interest?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fruits with full-fat/whole-fat yoghurt (gotta get those calories somehow...), consider natural (=unflavored) yoghurt to avoid sugars and whatever else they put in regular food.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;asking the paediatrician for more useful advice than &quot;fix it&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if she won't accept anything else than formula, get the richest sort you can find (for older children?) and serve during the day too (not ideal, but better than losing weight!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T19:41:20.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-06-12T21:10:08.730" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is her weight out of proportion to her height, like she is malnourished? Or is she in good proportion but in a low &quot;percentile&quot; or just stalled for a little bit?  The former is a much more serious problem, but a lot of doctors freak out about the latter just as much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children gain weight the same way adults do, with foods very dense in calories such as high carbs.  Make sure she is getting vitamins in, but make a lot bigger proportion of her diet in higher calorie foods than you would consider healthy for yourself as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also review some of the threads on picky eaters.  If kids know they will get their favorite foods if they hold out long enough, they will go hungry so they can get more of their favorite. It can be very difficult to do, esspecially with a child that needs to gain weight, but if you limit her portions on her favorites, she will eventually get hungry enough that she has no choice but to expand her diet during the day. It's a short-term trade off for a long-term gain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-06-12T21:10:08.730" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1925" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1932" CreationDate="2011-06-13T01:05:28.457" Score="41" ViewCount="321941" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old son receives and fears punishment but repeatedly exhibits the same unacceptable behaviors.  He's always been strong-willed, and is usually the kind to view a statement like &quot;Don't do that&quot; as an open invitation to do it.  We've tried redirection or distraction tactics, but he is still so narrowly focused on doing the original behavior.  Even worse, he will typically do the prohibited behavior and flagrantly tell us or show us that he's done it.  Repeatedly, even after punishment.  (He's in time out right now for this very thing).  He's consistently punished, yet he continues down the same self-destructive path each time.  When he is punished, we explain what he did wrong, why he's being punished, and why he shouldn't do what he was told not to do.  Sometimes he'll even tell us first why he's in trouble, so it makes me wonder if he's acting out for the inevitable negative attention he gets.  I think he gets plenty of love and positive attention- he's an only child and stays with a relative during the day.  We're trying to give him a good, fun childhood, but we need to figure out how to effectively discipline him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His repeated misbehavior includes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yelling at the top of his lungs in public (stores, friends' houses, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Running away from us (at parks, stores, parking lots, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking back and disrespecting authority figures&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hurting animals even after we explain why it's wrong&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Repetitive nuisance behaviors (repeating himself, banging his fists, kicking walls, intentionally crumbling food on floors, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Repeatedly asking us why he can't do something even after it's been explained to him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Basically, most bad behaviors that young children may do, but repeated over and over again, even after discipline&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gets a warning to stop the behavior, then depending on the severity of what he's done (and where we are), he'll either go to time out or lose a privilege (such as taking away a favorite movie or missing out on an activity).  Going to time outs and losing privileges really upset him, but still do not ultimately deter him from the bad behavior.  It's like he can't help himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My spouse and I are getting worn down.  We try to model good behavior and encourage him to be well-mannered and respectful.  This behavior mortifies us.  It seems we can't even enjoy life as a family because our son is so disruptive and unresponsive.  Most public outings have to be cut short or eliminated because he consistently misbehaves and doesn't respond to our discipline.  After he's misbehaved, when we try to have heart-to-heart talks with him about his behavior and why we expect him to mind us, he usually has a little trouble expressing himself, and a lot of times we get the same nonsensical responses from him (Us: Why did you do [bad behavior]?  Him: Because I didn't want to).  He also doesn't like to make eye contact.  We don't usually feel like we've gotten through to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there another discipline tactic we could try?  Or does it sound like we need to see a professional at this point?  We're at a loss, and don't want things to spiral further out of control as he gets older (and even begins school).  We just want him to understand that his behavior isn't always acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update (from comments below): My spouse and I disagree on spanking, as we had different experiences with it. He feels it's necessary sometimes. Since our son failed to improve after time outs and taking away items/privileges, I grew to agree with him and we used it for select bad behaviors. It didn't work any better. However, when he was spanked, he was always told why. I didn't mention that we have used it because I was afraid it would distract from the original question, but since it has already come up [in comments], yes, it has been explored, but with no better results than our other tactics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1139" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-04T00:22:14.357" LastActivityDate="2022-02-24T17:17:50.430" Title="How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1443" CreationDate="2011-06-13T03:02:09.737" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since this has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43082562/ns/health/t/circumcision-ban-appear-san-francisco-ballot/&quot;&gt;come up in the news&lt;/a&gt; again, I'd like to present evidence in favor of allowing the choice to circumcise or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I don't think anyone these days would advocate a blanket policy of &quot;all male children should be circumcised&quot;, and I am certainly not. Overall I agree with &lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;103/3/686&quot;&gt;the official position of the American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision&lt;/strong&gt;. In the case of circumcision, in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child's current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not think the evidence is compelling in either direction, but I believe there are &quot;enough&quot; mild medical benefits to circumcision that I support it for my child, at least. But I would certainly &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; fault any other parents for deciding otherwise. It is hardly a life threatening or even important decision in the big scheme of things. At best it is minor, on the scale of the deciding to keep your appendix or pierce your ears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Wikipedia page &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_analysis_of_circumcision&quot;&gt;Medical Analysis of Circumcision&lt;/a&gt; has tons of great citations. Specifically the ones I found compelling in my decisionmaking are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Ewings and Bowie performed a case-control study of 159 cases of prostate cancer, and found a reduced rate among circumcised men (odds ratio 0.62). The authors noted: &quot;...some statistically significant associations were found, although these can only be viewed as hypothesis generating in this context.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A 1988 New Zealand study of penile problems by Fergusson et al., in a birth cohort of more than 500 children from birth to 8 years of age found that by 8 years, circumcised children had a rate of 11.1 problems per 100 children, and uncircumcised children had a rate of 18.8 per 100. The majority of these problems were for penile inflammation including balanitis, meatitis, and inflammation of the prepuce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Three studies that have found that boys with foreskins tend to have higher rates of various infections and inflammations of the penis than those who are circumcised: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Fakjian, N; S Hunter, GW Cole and J Miller (August 1990). &quot;An argument for circumcision. Prevention of balanitis in the adult&quot;. Arch Dermatol 126 (8): 1046–7.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Herzog, LW; SR Alvarez (March 1986). &quot;The frequency of foreskin problems in uncircumcised children&quot;. Am J Dis Child 140 (3): 254-6.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;O’Farrel, Nigel; Maria Quigley and Paul Fox (August 2005). &quot;Association between the intact foreskin and inferior standards of male genital hygiene behaviour: a cross-sectional study&quot;. International Journal of STD &amp;amp; AIDS 16 (8): 556-588.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Singh-Grewal (2005) performed a meta-analysis of 12 studies (one randomised controlled trial, four cohort studies, and seven case–control studies) looking at the effect of circumcision on the risk of urinary tract infection (UTI) in boys. Circumcision was associated with a reduced risk of UTI (OR = 0.13; 95% CI, 0.08 to 0.20; p&amp;lt;0.001).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;According to the American Medical Association, &quot;There is little doubt that the uncircumcised infant is at higher risk for urinary tract infection (UTI).&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Researchers from the Imperial College School of Medicine, Chelsea &amp;amp; Westminster Hospital, London, England reported the results of their study of 357 patients referred for genital skin disease. Most cases of inflammatory dermatoses were diagnosed in uncircumcised men, suggesting that circumcision protects against inflammatory dermatoses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;On Wednesday, March 28, 2007, the World Health Organisation (WHO) and UNAIDS issued joint recommendations concerning male circumcision and HIV/AIDS.[159] These recommendations are:&#xA;  Male circumcision should now be recognized as an efficacious intervention for HIV prevention. Promoting male circumcision should be recognized as an additional, important strategy for the prevention of heterosexually acquired HIV infection in men.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for me, I want my child to have the best chance of &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; having these problems associated with foreskins, even if the incidences are quite rare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, having this procedure completed at day 2 of your life when you won't remember it, and as a part of all the other crazy-ass things that happen when you're born (and obviously performed with anasthetic in any case) is preferable to the risk, however small, that you might need a medical circumcision later at an age where you &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; remember the procedure and the recovery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T03:02:09.737" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1929" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-13T04:35:04.157" Score="14" ViewCount="16877" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our infant was born in October and is approaching 8 months old. We recently purchased a bike trailer for the purpose of taking family bike rides (we also have a 3 year old). We live in a part of the United States that gets four distinct seasons.  This means that 6 months or less are suited for outdoor activities, and we were hoping to get our for some family rides before this season is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither of us parents are intense bike riders, but we like biking for the purpose of getting some fresh air and exercise.  We don't expect seeing serious speeds, and our neighborhood has pretty decent off-street paved bike paths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've done some searching online related to helmets for infants, and now feel scared to death of doing permanent brain-jiggling damage if I took our 8 month  old in the trailer.  How do I tell if our baby is strong enough/old enough for the bumpy ride?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;For reference, our baby has been sitting unsupported since about 6 months, and since he's always loved his tummy, he's had a lot of neck exercise.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="209" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T22:58:54.367" Title="At what development stage is an infant ready for a ride in a bike trailer?" Tags="|infant|age-appropriate|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-06-13T04:45:54.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before this question can be properly addressed, we need to know the answer to a question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you, on the one hand, think religion is a stylistic/personal preference decision like favorite sports team or preferring domestic vs. imported cars? Do you believe that inquiry into truth won't lead you to any particular place?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Or, on the other hand, do you believe that you simply know the truth, and while everyone else calls those beliefs &quot;religion&quot; because of their content, it's not really a religion &lt;em&gt;to you&lt;/em&gt;. Do you believe that honest inquiry will invariably lead to the important parts of what you believe?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note: I don't really think there's another option. If you don't believe your religion, how can it be &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; religion? And if honest inquiry won't lead to your religion, then why do you believe it?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that if it's the former, you go with Rayne, MichaelF, or Hairy's replies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's the latter, then act as though what you believe is true and treat it like every other thing you want to teach your child in life. Would you like your child to understand physics some day and be able to do advanced calculus? Yes, but you don't force him to recite equations or study graphs at 4 years old. Do you want him to understand sex and have a healthy relationship with it? Yes but you don't sit him down with graphic pictures and explain every detail or give him a demonstration. Instead, you wait until the time is right and you tell him what he is ready for at his level in terms that he can understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think that what you believe is the truth, then you're going to also think that honest inquiry into its validity is only going to confirm it. Thus you are not threatened by your child being exposed to other ideas. You should be interested in him being used to hearing all kinds of ideas and beginning to learn critical thinking skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best antidote to error and to ensure &quot;correct doctrine&quot; is not restricting what one hears but hearing as much as possible, while having the correct tools to evaluate each new thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's what we do in science, and that's what I think we should do with our religion. It's no threat to me to tell my son that some people believe the Earth is flat (I don't know if any do, it's just an example). Then we simply set about to figure out how we might determine the truth of that. It might be a long exploration before the final &lt;em&gt;aha!&lt;/em&gt; moment, even years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting blinders on and throwing him forcefully at your beliefs as if they were the only possible ones is not going to do the job properly, because some day your child will be out on his own. If he only believes what you teach him because his mind has been bent to avoid even considering anything else, he'll either never be a genuine follower because it's not his own (and isn't that what you want?) or he'll some day figure out how he was duped&amp;mdash;whether or not the basic tenets of your religion are correct&amp;mdash;and may reject it all simply for having been brainwashed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make your religion part of the fabric of your life. Live it unashamedly, but not ostentatiously. Tell him what you believe, but prepare him to ask questions, to think, to learn how to sit with uncertainty without it being intolerable, as long as he is not content to remain there forever. Create an environment of free inquiry, but lead at the same time. Note this is not the same as telling him he has to come to his own decision&amp;mdash;of course he does. But that kind of communication almost puts it back in the Ford vs. Honda category. Instead he should just be free to explore, knowing what you believe and being taught how to question everything and arrive at conclusions himself. Trust the process. Act as though believing anything else doesn't make sense. Because that's what you believe. Right? &lt;em&gt;Right?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's not right, then you do have no business teaching him your religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And no, I don't think you should force him to pray. Does anything in your religion say that praying at meals is required for salvation, or something? Then honestly, what a misguided and ludicrous idea. It's a &lt;em&gt;tradition&lt;/em&gt; of yours that you hope he will follow. But isn't the real issue one of gratitude for and dependence on the provision of God? Do you think he'll learn those by being forced to pray? Does he even comprehend lack well enough to appreciate provision, even your own provision? My 5-year-old doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess a second &quot;real issue&quot; you might be interested in is teaching the discipline of prayer. But prayer is a communication vehicle for those in relationship with God. Does your son have such a relationship? Does he even begin to grasp who God is and what He's like? If your son had a Great Aunt that you forced him to write letters to because you hope him to have a wonderful relationship with her some day, but he's never met her nor received any communication from her at all, is that really the best way to foster the relationship you're hoping will develop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2011-06-14T06:01:53.877" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T06:01:53.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1925" CreationDate="2011-06-13T06:48:34.073" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm glad you are concerned with your son's behavior,  it shows you are on the ball and caring.  I am an elementary school teacher (32 years), a parent and grandparent and  suggest you seek professional help.  Two of your comments are especially concerning: The fact that your son, at age five, has difficulty making eye contact can be an indicator of issues which need to be addressed sooner than later.  The second is the fact that your son continues to hurt animals (this is NOT something that most young children do), although you do not say how he hurts them this is a big red flag when working with/caring for children that there are concerns.  I believe you should begin with your pediatrician, be honest with them and they can refer you to a specialist.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1141" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T06:48:34.073" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1934" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1935" CreationDate="2011-06-13T08:48:41.017" Score="11" ViewCount="482" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I speak to our daughter (13 months old) in Hebrew and in English, respectively; we're careful that each of us speak to her consistently in our own language all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's on the verge of her first words, and I instinctively want to encourage and strengthen her when it comes to &quot;words&quot; she recognizes. The issue is that some of these phrases are in Hebrew - and I'm not sure I should be repeating Hebrew words to her, when I'm trying to stick to English. For example, she recognizes light and light fixtures, and says &quot;Oh!&quot; - very close to אור, &quot;Or&quot;, Hebrew for &quot;light&quot; - and I feel very silly saying &quot;Yes! 'Oh'! Light!&quot;. That seems unnecessarily confusing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Under these circumstances, how can reinforce her attempts at first words while keeping up the bilingual distinction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:25:22.533" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T21:25:22.533" Title="How can I encourage my baby's first words while keeping up a bilingual distinction?" Tags="|infant|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1934" CreationDate="2011-06-13T11:14:05.833" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son did the same.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'd point to the light and say, &quot;lampe&quot; (Danish for lamp) and I'd say, &quot;that's right for Daddy's language. Mommy calls it a 'lamp'&quot; and then I'd encourage him to say it in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband does the same to help reinforce the English words since I'm the 'minority language' parent.  He'll say, (in Danish) &quot;That's right - do you remember what it's called for Mommy? &quot;lamp&quot;&quot; and then encourage our son to use the English words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T11:14:05.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1925" CreationDate="2011-06-13T11:15:57.967" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also have a 5 year old son, whose behaviour isn't very different from what you've described. In fact, what you've described is &lt;strong&gt;normal 5-year old behaviour&lt;/strong&gt; so the first thing to say is that there's nothing to be massively concerned about in the long term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, handling his behaviour is a painful experience. Many will tell you that it's all about getting attention. Kids crave attention, and if they don't get the &quot;positive&quot; attention (playing &amp;amp; reading with them etc) they will misbehave in order to get your &quot;negative&quot; attention. There's some truth in that, so it's work making sure you're spending enough quality time with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But we've found that by far the biggest factor is tiredness. If he's over-tired, you can guarantee this kind of behaviour from our son, especially at bed-time (which of course only exacerbates the situation the next day) so I would suggest trying an earlier bed time. Linked to this, if he doesn't get enough activity (exercise) during a day, he finds it harder to get to sleep and will probably misbehave the next day, so that's a factor to consider too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But also remember at all times that this is typical behaviour for kids, especially boys, at this age, and it will not last forever. In particular, you're not a bad parent for having a child who behaves this way, and there is nothing intrinsically wrong with the child. Contrary to one of the earlier answers, I don't believe for a moment there's any cause for alarm that requires medical or psychiatric attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1145" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T11:15:57.967" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-06-13T11:31:18.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What we tend to do is say a very simple &quot;Thanks, God&quot; - often no more than those two words - before we eat, as well as praying with/over our kids when we put them to bed. We encourage them to join in or say &quot;Amen&quot; at the end, but don't make a fuss if they don't do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By not making a big deal out of it our children can't use refusal to pray as a way of misbehaving, so there's no us versus them stand-off around praying. Yet by continuing to pray briefly in front of them and inviting them to join in, prayer is an accepted part of their lives. As they grow older we're encouraging them to say more when praying, but the other respondents are correct when they say that two years old is too young for a child to understand what prayer is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1145" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T11:31:18.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1925" CreationDate="2011-06-13T12:13:58.227" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have hit much of this same behavior with our son, although with others his behavior tends to be on the best side and we get glowing reports from others, at times at home we get some of the worst.  Mostly it seems like normal Five Year old behavior, and although we have a younger one I at times thought it was mostly due to the younger brother that we got some bad moments.  Generally it seems to be an attitude/anger problem where we say No to something and that will set my son off, we do time out's, a toy time out and so on, but it doesn't seem to change the mannerisms at times.  We emulate the behavior we want, and stress at times that he needs to set a good example for his brother, but many times we get the &quot;attitude&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can get his attention with a loud, stern voice and that will sometimes scare him enough to give us his attention or stop what he is doing.  I've also spent time getting on his level, but make him look up at me a little, and try to make him understand what it is he is doing wrong.  Many times the result is limited choices, you can do this or nothing or some option that gets what you want, and keep at it - kids can try to wear you down and in some ways I think we all did the same thing when we were young and trying to asset ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For things that you mentioned what I would do is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yelling in public, bring him home or to the car unless it stops.  I've sat in the car at the store waiting for my wife when he has misbehaved, after a couple times this has stopped.  I give one warning, I find that my son has a short attention span on warnings, once and then we have punishment otherwise he takes it as an opportunity to continue.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Running away, same options.  Although if it continued you might want to get a child harness, personally I do not like them and think they are awful but a couple of times I did it with my oldest when he was younger.  After the second time out he never strayed again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking back and disrespect gets a timeout and whenever he begins to talk I shush him, not loudly but sternly, only with a shush or &quot;no talking&quot;.  I found saying &quot;shut up&quot; or certain variations tended to backfire on me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hurting animals I have never seen, although this tends to be a red flag for many things, maybe you can elaborate on what you mean by it.  Still, I'd try to have him respect animals and be kind or keep him away from them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Repition, this is where you get the contest of wills.  You HAVE to keep it up otherwise once you relent they take advantage.  We did this on a couple things with my oldest last year, and are still trying to get him back on track to helping out and doing chores at home.  We let him slide a few times then it was like starting over.  It's hard, but whenever you let it go then it seems like everything resets.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully this is momentary for you and you can get through it.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T12:13:58.227" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2011-06-13T15:29:53.420" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;don't provide generalized answers without the proper backing&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Huh? We're talking about religion here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're either religious, or you are not. If you are not, this is a non-issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are, then the issue is entirely personal. If you want your kid to obey your particular religious beliefs, then you're doing to teach your kid said religious beliefs. If you want your kid to develop his or her own, then you're not going to want to force any of your particular beliefs on your child, though you may very well want to share them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there is no right/wrong answer to this. Kids don't 'get' religion as much as they learn whatever their parents preach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is somewhat religious, so takes the kids to church. I am not, and am honest with them when they ask questions regarding religion, usually along the lines of answering with a &quot;well, some people believe that, some don't&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a personal opinion that religion is usually not a healthy thing to push on folks, but that's just my personal opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say take religion completely out of the question and ask &quot;how to I get my kid to do something I want them to do but that they don't want to?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T15:29:53.420" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-06-13T17:42:33.580" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was raised bilingual by circumstance. (Live in states, family speaks french) My parents spoke to me in french probably 99% of the time. My aunt would ship some french books and my mother would read them to me before bed time. I acquired English primarily through tv at first, and then from kindergarten to university. I have a rather good memory and I can say that I have no recollection of ever knowing one language before another. I did go through a phase from about 1st grade to 6th grade where if I didn't know the word in french I would say it in English. And my parents would tell me what the word was in french. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can speak and listen to french no problem, my writing ability is lacking as I need more practice. So I can recommend you trying to foster interest in your child to read a book in Tagalog, but it's up to you how to do so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for English, well that is my language of expertise. It's not perfect but it is the language I choose to express myself in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, I would say not to worry so much about English if you live in a culture primarily driven by the English language. (although I would still recommend to encourage your child to read a book in English too) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1146" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T17:42:33.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1929" CreationDate="2011-06-13T17:45:06.307" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not just the neck but the entire torso that needs to delevop sufficient strength to support its own weight. &#xA;The practical measure is that when a child &lt;strong&gt;can raise itself to the sitting position by itself&lt;/strong&gt;, then the upper body (spine, muscles, etc.) is sufficiently developed for upright load. If &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; sit the child on the floor and he remains sitting - that's not enough, that's cheating, and you may be putting the child under undue stress if you go biking at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bike seats (which are mounted using a bracket on the bike's frame) offer sufficient suspension (ca. 3 cm / 1 inch) that minor bumps are evened out. &lt;em&gt;Most&lt;/em&gt; bike trailers don't have that much suspension, if any at all! Usually, the only shock absorbing factor is the tires, and they don't offer much. So when comparing bike seats to bike trailers, I would err on the side of caution and add a few months' worth of development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the child is old enough to make himself sit comfortably, he will know how to position himself in a trailer. But you should consider whether the trailer offers sufficient support (and crash protection!) for a child that young, as most are geared toward 3-6yo kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child must &lt;em&gt;sit&lt;/em&gt;, not lie down - that would be seriously uncomfortable at the slightest bumps. With a trailer, bumps are felt much more clearly than with a bike or bike seat. Roads that are &quot;so-so&quot; on bike are already &quot;no-no&quot; with a bike trailer. Roads must be nice and flat, and no ruts or potholes. If there are, go over them at no more than walking speed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Helmets:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Since Michael brings it up: Our son (now 20 months) disliked any kind of hats during the winter, but he has accepted the helmet to the point that he won't even touch his trike without wearing the helmet. &lt;strong&gt;I would recommend that a child should always wear a helmet when biking&lt;/strong&gt; even when in a bike seat or a trailer, from age 0 to 12 years. We have made it &lt;strong&gt;a role-modelling policy that the whole party must wear helmets&lt;/strong&gt;, otherwise nobody bikes. We just completed a 5-day, 330 km, bike trip with my mother who always tries to &quot;forget&quot; the seatbelt in the car, but with respect for our son she too wore a helmet the whole time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T17:45:06.307" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-06-13T17:54:24.320" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would add proteins (meat, beans) and more frequent meals (may be with healthy snacks in between if it does not spoil her appetite) to the answers  since you mention that she is not picky just does not eat much in one sitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you daughter eats balanced diet and enough calories(and kids don't need that much) and does not have any known health issues, I would ask your pediatrician why her weight gain is a concern to her. If there are some underlying issues, stuffing the child is not going to help while creating potential problems in the future. Healthy children will not starve themselves and eat as much as needed. If the weight gain remains a concern may be your doctor could run tests to check for things associated with this problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T17:54:24.320" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="302" CreationDate="2011-06-13T18:31:58.800" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our twins were about 3.5 months old they started sleeping 12 hours a night. I can't recommend the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0345486455&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child&lt;/a&gt; enough. My wife found out about the book from our local &quot;Twin Club&quot; and it was a life-saver. In it, the author discusses a number of sleep strategies, but basically (in his opinion) sleeping through the night starts with the child taking healthy naps.&#xA;We've since used the book with our third, and he too started sleeping through the night around 3.5 - 4 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A warning; it does take a little bit of work on your part to make sure that all caregivers are on the same page with respect to naps and bedtimes, especially when getting started. We've also found that continuing to refer back to the book as our children have grown has helped as well so they get enough sleep based upon their ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1147" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T18:31:58.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1944" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1950" CreationDate="2011-06-13T19:58:32.437" Score="14" ViewCount="3043" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently my daughter started to hit another girl with whom she is currently sharing her nanny. My daughter is 2 years and 2 months now, the other child is 1 year 3 months. The nanny was our daughters only nanny until 5 months ago, when we started sharing with the other family. We had a few trial days and it was perfect, but after a few proper days it became clear that our daughter is not very happy with the arrangement - probably she was jealous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago the problems grew more serious, and our daughter started hitting the other girl much more often. Part of the reason might be that the younger girl is interested in everything around and in particular in the toy that our daughter is playing with (natural at this age I guess), so our daughter was fighting back. But now she became so aggressive that the nanny and all the parents involved are very worried: often she would attach the little girl when she just passes by or waves her hand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are trying to figure out how to improve their relationship and how to make our daughter stop violence. Gentle explanations don't seem to work - I believe she understands she does the wrong thing, she says sorry, kisses the smaller child etc., but 3 mins later the same thing happens again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could anyone recommend anything we could do about it? And what could make it worse? The real question is should we try to punish our daughter in any way (e.g. do time-outs: stop the play and take her to the other end of the room for a short while), or is it going to have the opposite effect?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:24:36.073" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T21:24:36.073" Title="How do I stop my daughter from hitting another child?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|violence|hitting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1929" CreationDate="2011-06-13T20:41:48.667" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As stated, the child should be able to sit up...so I'd say 2-ish...unless maybe the trailer can accommodate the child in a car seat properly anchored to the trailer (I don't know if said type of trailer exists.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One gripe I have about our trailer is that the seat goes straight up the back of the head, so there was no way for us to have our child wear a helmet while riding the trailer (as the helmet would hit the back and push his head forward). Not a huge deal on the bike trails, though so we risked it and things were fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is the non-physical aspect. Our oldest LOVED the trailer. Our youngest HATED the trailer. So, I think part of it comes down to individual personalities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-06-13T20:41:48.667" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1902" CreationDate="2011-06-13T22:12:05.463" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is the problem with most studies conducted on children. Todays mainstream view on spanking is if you spank a child you'll produce an aggressive individual.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;And as evidence we're presented with violent people who where beat by their parents and they conclude the relationship.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;None of those studies are controlled on genetics. Children are not blank slates, they do come with predetermined sets of personalities, which of course are not complicity fixed, but it would be foolish to ignore them. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;For example child from a violent parent can be violent because of her/his genes, as many of other distinct physiological treats, for example temperament, curiosity, sense of humor etc. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;There is another part to this story and of course it's the intensity of physical reaction towards the child, spanking and hitting the child with a fist should not be put in the same category as it's done in popular parenting manuals.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;There are situations where spanking is absolutely the only way. If you have a child that continually does something which indangers her/his life, like poking fingers into electric socket, and you say &quot;no&quot;, than &quot;NO&quot;, than &quot;NOO!&quot;, and she/he just laughs and continues to do so, you need to physically remove the child from harms way. Trying to explain the concept is good of course, but if it doesn't work you need to spank the child.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;There is no proof that spanking is not the right method of parenting in combination of other pedagogical measures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;EDIT:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I've been asked to give you studies and to go through these studies to explain my claims. I will not do that because it would take enormous amounts of time to go through all the details, it's much easier just to post articles than it is to dissect them and explain every flaw and links to all the studies are not free. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;However I will give you a paragraph from Harvard psychology professor Steven Pinker's book &lt;i&gt;The Blank Slate&lt;/i&gt; about his opinion and youtube link where he explains it in nice 24minutes talk (I'll also post the minute where he talks about parenting), with slides from some studies of human brain and behavior.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also I'd like to ask a question if any of you in any media have ever seen an explanation of pedagogical study where genes where included in explanation? Even if you have the frequency of such articles is vastly outnumbered by ad hoc explanations of cause and effect. Yet it is so obvious to anyone who has ever interacted with another human and his parents/brothers/sisters/twins.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;b&gt;&lt;i&gt;The Blank Slate:&lt;/b&gt; The Modern Denial of Human Nature&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;b&gt;Chapter 19: Children&lt;/b&gt;&#xA;page 375&lt;br&gt;&#xA;...&quot;&lt;i&gt;The First Law implies that any study that measures something in parents and something in their biological children and then draws conclusion about the effects of parenting is worthless, because the correlations may simply reflect their shared genes (aggressive parents may breed aggressive children, talkative parents talkative children). &lt;b&gt;But these expensive studies continue to be done and continue to be translated into parenting advice as if the heritability of all traits were zero&lt;/b&gt;.&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&#xA;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a youtube link, it would be good to look at the whole video (24minutes) because you'll lack context if you watch only the part about parenting that starts at 18:28:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;br&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuQHSKLXu2c&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Steven Pinker:Chalking it up to the blank slate&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I wanted to offer from the start to person who asked the question is caution when s/he looks at studies and answers, because in psychology/pedagogy while there are a lot of brilliant scientists, lot of scientists from these fields don't understand the basic scientific principle and don't have scientific integrity. S/he needs to be very skeptical when s/he follows the advice given here or from the associations of psychologists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1149" LastEditorUserId="1149" LastEditDate="2011-06-14T20:57:38.467" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T20:57:38.467" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1944" CreationDate="2011-06-14T05:01:07.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Absolutely you should punish your daughter!&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hitting, pushing, and other aggressive behavior is not permitted. Some negative consequence must be applied when she acts out in this way. I suggest that you put her in timeout, and if the conflict is about something, take the something away from your daughter and give it to the other child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you have demonstrated and seem to have figured out, persuasion and negotiating do not work with toddlers. She isn't sorry for hitting; she has no idea what the word &quot;sorry&quot; means. She just knows that &quot;sorry&quot; is something she has to say to shut you up after she hits that irritating baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note #1: Don't worry about &quot;improving the relationship&quot;, just worry about improving the behavior. They may become fast friends, or they may not really like each other. It doesn't matter .. in either case your daughter must behave properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note #2: &lt;em&gt;Violence&lt;/em&gt; is hardly the right word for this sort of thing .. it is overly dramatic, not particularly descriptive, and not helpful to resolving the situation. It also trivializes real violence. Accurately characterizing bad behavior is the first step to properly responding to it.  &quot;Hitting&quot; or &quot;pushing&quot; are better terms for this kind of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T05:01:07.720" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1925" CreationDate="2011-06-14T06:27:40.363" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Read Dr. James Dobson's &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B004GUSHT6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Strong-Willed Child&lt;/a&gt;; it will change your approach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Strong-willed children need strong, courageous parenting to learn self-control and discipline so that the energy and drive they possess can be productive not destructive. Dr. Dobson emphasizes discipline, structure, routine and mutual respect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: @HedgeMage .. the OP asked about &lt;em&gt;disciplining&lt;/em&gt; .. other answers dealt with possible other issues. It is very likely that the child is acting out as a test/response/provocation of the parent. Much undesirable behavior is made more interesting by parental disapproval,particularly is that disapproval comes without a price. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If discipline stops the &quot;ordinary&quot; undesired behavior but some more troubling issues remain, then some form of counseling or professional evaluation is in order. But jumping there without trying strong discipline is premature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2011-06-14T14:25:55.920" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T14:25:55.920" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1944" CreationDate="2011-06-14T08:05:45.517" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the situation (and your daughter) are suffering for lack of consistent, appropriate discipline and an understanding of the cause of your daughter's behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, get a discipline plan in place.  You, your spouse, the nanny, and anyone else involved in your child's upbringing must stick to it or it won't work.  It should go something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Warning -- in a firm voice tell her to stop doing X or she will go to time out.  (In the case of hitting, the warning comes before she hits, when she shows signs of getting ready to hit.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Time out -- If the behavior happens after the warning, get on eye level with her, tell her that she is going into time-out because she did X, then pick her up and put her in the time-out spot.  She stays there for two minutes (1 minute per year of age) and if she leaves time-out you put her back without a word (this is important -- DO NOT engage her) and restart the timer.  At first, this will be a marathon event.  Once she's figured out that you won't back down no matter how long she fights it, she'll stay put.  Don't give up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Apology -- When time out is over, get on her eye level again.  Ask her why she was in time-out and if she can't or won't explain, remind her firmly.  Then have her apologize, to you and to the child she hurt.  After that she gets hugs and kisses and life goes on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is extremely important that this is done with unfailing consistency, and not just for hitting.  Make a list of house rules and make sure they are followed.  While less severe behaviors (such as running in the house) will garner a warning the first time the behavior is done, not before, the rest of the process stays the same.  The best way to prevent severe misbehavior is to stop it before it gets severe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second part of this process is to figure out why your child was behaving this way in the first place.  A failure of discipline certainly led to this becoming a regular habit, but it started for a reason.  Is your daughter reacting out of jealousy when the other child gets attention?  Is the other child misbehaving in a way that makes your daughter feel she must defend herself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jealousy usually fades with time, as long as the children are both getting appropriate amounts of attention, and the other child isn't allowed to act inappropriately toward your daughter.  For example, even though the 15mo's desire to play with whatever your daughter is playing with is &lt;em&gt;normal&lt;/em&gt;, that does not make it &lt;em&gt;appropriate&lt;/em&gt;.  Kids learn appropriate behavior only when it is modeled by their role models as consistently as bad behavior must be punished.  Neither the younger child's age, nor your daughter's inappropriate behavior may be treated as an excuse for inappropriate behavior on the younger child's part, or the situation won't get better.  Rules are rules for everyone, and your daughter won't value rules unless they protect her (say, from the other child taking her toys away) as well as limit her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discipline for a 15 month old is, of course, different from that for a 2yo.  The 15mo should be given a warning when she misbehaves, and then removed from the play area &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt; upon the second infraction.  Stick her in a playpen or similar confinement without toys while the adult present gives attention to your daughter for a few minutes (and pretends the 15mo isn't there without regard to any amount of screaming or other protest).  Do not take her out until a couple of minutes have passed AND she is quietly behaving.  She'll start to learn that bad behavior is no fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of the children will resist the change at first -- they will probably increase the bad behavior in the hope that it will go back to getting the reaction it used to -- but within a couple of weeks you will see a great improvement in their behavior.  However, any inconsistency, or giving attention in time-out, etc. will undo your efforts.  Additionally, reacting 5 or even 3 minutes after a bad behavior is &lt;em&gt;too late&lt;/em&gt; for a child this young to connect the behavior with the punishment.  Your or the nanny's response must be immediate, or the punishment will seem random to her rather than the consequence of a particular behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-06-14T09:17:10.673" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T09:17:10.673" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="828" CreationDate="2011-06-14T08:49:38.057" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a tough situation... how to wake her up to a hard truth without discouraging her.  But if she's &lt;em&gt;serious&lt;/em&gt; about wanting to be really great, I guess the truth is your job here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One possibility is to try to &lt;em&gt;quantify&lt;/em&gt; some aspect(s) of performance (something that isn't so subjective she'd just argue them)... passes completed, passes received, defenders passed, possessions taken... something you could count from the sidelines and relevant to what she needs to improve.  Then together you could compare her stats to some of the better players, so her belief about her performance isn't fantasy.  Hopefully she can draw the necessary conclusion herself without you needing to say anything like &quot;this shows you're actually not as good...&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably don't want to compare her against someone she can't possibly compete with, but someone who is just a little above her level, so she has some attainable goal to achieve.  (And you may not want to name who you're comparing... it could be the average of a couple of better players or the unknown person playing her position on the other team)  Then hopefully you and/or her coach can help her exercise those specific skills more until she succeeds.  Then set another goal.  Low frequency stats can be very jumpy from game to game, so if you're mathematically inclined at all it may be better to plot her average, and focus on raising her running average, not a specific per-game target. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can use different stats and comparisons over time.  When she gets to the point where she doesn't need the cold water of direct comparison and is willing to just work on improving stats, then you can stop making comparisons explicit and just give her stat goals to shoot for (behind the scenes you can determine what those numbers need to be). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also much harder for kids than adults to imagine how it's &lt;em&gt;possible&lt;/em&gt; to improve if someone is better than you.  You can't just tell a kid to &quot;try harder&quot; because that doesn't really work... if it's going to take an extra hour of passing practice a week, or training for more physical power, or some change of technique, then you and the coach have to be able to be quite specific about what she must do to improve a skill, and then make sure she succeeds, so that she learns it is possible.  Sometimes kids will resist any talk of need for improvement because they simply don't see &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T08:49:38.057" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1718" CreationDate="2011-06-14T09:49:40.093" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you and your wife may have slightly different inclinations about whether a change is needed, so I'll see if I can make a respectable argument for the 'contrarian' side: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the situation doesn't improve in a reasonable amount of time then it would seem changes are needed.  Does the nanny acknowledge the problem?  Does she know that the kids prefer other caretakers?  Have you asked if &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; has her own theories why, or how to improve.  Does she seem really motivated to improve things &amp;amp; excel on all fronts? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may keep them safe and provide appropriate discipline but if other people can do it better (you say you've had better in the past) then it doesn't seem right to 'settle' indefinitely for someone they don't like.  Being an intimate caretaker in a family is certainly about more than just safety and discipline. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might mostly be a problem of tempermental kids, but adult professionals should be more able to change and improve than 4 year olds, so I'd say give her some time... as long as you and the nanny have ideas and the motivation to improve things, then keep trying... but as soon as you're out of ideas or any of you find you've &quot;given up&quot; on improving things, then you need a new Nanny. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it is no one's 'fault' at all, and is just a &quot;personality&quot; conflict, but even then, I'd hope that the Nanny would recognize that's a problem and would want you do whatever you need to to resolve it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long term, there are other nannies in the world, but these are your only kids.  Even if they seem irrational, you can't feel that you 'owe' the nanny her position; she is the employee, hired to be a sort of proxy family member, and mutual love should be a part of the requirements for such an intimate position. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T09:49:40.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1953" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1954" CreationDate="2011-06-14T14:23:54.377" Score="2" ViewCount="39545" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son has been supplementing his formula with solid food for several months now.  We started him on simple cereals (rice cereal, oatmeal, etc.), then added basic jarred baby food.  Now he's eating blended jarred baby food, and we've been giving him selected &quot;adult&quot; food off our plates on occasion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toast and french fries/potato wedges appear to be his favorite foods, mostly because he can easily grip them and enjoy them for 5-10 minutes at a time (before they become too mushy and disintegrate or he drops them).  He has no problem ripping off small pieces to chew (well, mostly gum; he has his 2 front bottom teeth, with his 2 top front teeth just coming in), but sometimes the pieces he gets are much bigger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife constantly worries about him choking, and starts whacking on his back any time he shows any difficulties.  What information I could find on the subject (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyledweaning.com/some-tips-to-get-you-started/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;for example&lt;/a&gt;) seems to indicate &quot;easy to grip&quot; is a good criteria for baby led weaning, and that gagging is &quot;their way of moving food around in the mouth and don’t panic&quot;.  That site in particular highlights a variety of photos of very young children eating adult-sized portions of everything ranging from broccoli to pork chops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen other sites that state that babies should only be fed solid food if it is in tiny pieces, to avoid choking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How big should solid foods be?  Is toast a choking hazard?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:24:19.193" LastActivityDate="2016-09-01T01:05:26.027" Title="How big should solid food for the infant be when doing baby-led weaning?" Tags="|infant|safety|feeding|baby-led-weaning|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1953" CreationDate="2011-06-14T15:29:07.990" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure about toast - we give our 10 month old slightly toasted bread with plenty of butter to keep it soft. It's soft enough that can rip it apart with her little fingers. We usually take the crust off because that requires a lot more effort for her to chew. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for other foods, all the veggies and fruits we give her are steamed enough to be fairly soft. We normally cut things into pieces that are small enough for her to chew on but big enough for her to pick up and put in her mouth. When we don't cut things into small pieces (tried this with watermelon), she tries to shove the whole thing in her mouth (which she spits out, eventually). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are times when she isn't able to chew on something easily even if it is small enough. For example, we gave her a slice of mandarin once - but even the overly thin skin on the mandarin slice makes it hard for her to chew it. She had trouble with that and was our only &quot;almost choked&quot; incidence. We peel it from now on. On the other hand, we give her a much bigger sized whole-wheat cookie to chew on all the time and she has never choked on it, or even come close. Reason being because it melts and becomes mush in her mouth almost instantly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in all, I think the size of the food you give your little one depends on how easily and quickly it can become mush in her mouth. If it requires a lot of chewing (vegetables take a while), give it in small pieces. If it becomes mush easily (bananas, avocadoes, etc.), you can get away with a bigger piece. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T15:29:07.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1249" CreationDate="2011-06-14T16:43:41.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found that teething babies &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt; to have a toothbrush to chew on. It makes their gums feel better. It also helps establish a bedtime routine later on (don't expect this to catch on right away or anything). The soft-bristled ones specifically for children 0-1 are great this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T16:43:41.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1249" CreationDate="2011-06-14T17:43:46.323" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As soon as the teeth are through, you start to brush.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get him into the habit of spending time brushing teeth to establish good oral hygiene. Be careful that if you use toothpaste (pea sized amount), it's not swallowed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T17:43:46.323" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1953" CreationDate="2011-06-14T18:54:25.897" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest thing to worry about are foods that they can &quot;compress&quot; with their jaws, but will expand in their throats upon swallowing.  Hot dogs are one example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, as long as he has the concept of &quot;chewing&quot; down, even if he's lacking the teeth for it, and the food can get mushed up that way, he should be fine with most foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T18:54:25.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-06-14T19:01:37.020" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I noticed in one of the responses that you said you quit offering snacks.  Here is a sample of our meal schedule for our 15 month old twins.  We seldom offer snacks but stagger meals and milk.  By staggering them we get more high calorie/protein milk in them on a regular basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7:30 AM 8oz of milk with liquid vitamins (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001F0RA0W&quot;&gt;Poly-Vi-Sol&lt;/a&gt;) added in&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8:30 AM Breakfast (Whole milk plain Yogurt with fruit puree, protein such as eggs or ham, fruit, carb such as peanut butter toast)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10:30 AM 8 oz of milk offered&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;[11-1 Nap time]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1:30 Lunch (Avocado with banana, protein, veggie, carb, fruit for dessert)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;3:30 8 oz milk offered&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;5:30 Supper (Protein, veggies, carb, fruit for dessert)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7:00 8 oz milk offered&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;[8:00 bed time]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We offer 8 oz of milk each time but other than in the morning it is seldom that the full glass gets drank.  Water is always available in the play area to be drank when thirsty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I Googled &quot;&lt;strong&gt;high calorie foods for toddlers&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; and got some great hits that had some good ideas on foods to offer.  We make sure to always offer a wide variety of foods at each meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our biggest trick is just what you said in a comment, we offer the meal and then after it is gone we offer fruit to get a few extra calories in.  Freeze dried blueberries are a favorite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="88" LastEditDate="2011-06-16T18:40:35.227" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T18:40:35.227" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1898" CreationDate="2011-06-14T19:04:58.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always found that I needed to pump for at least 15-20 minutes per side to make sure that I got enough.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the beginning the more you pump there is a better chance of a larger milk supply.  I pumped exclusively and in the beginning I would pump every 3 hours then I slowly spread out the times until for the last 7 months I pumped morning, noon, afternoon, and before bed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T19:04:58.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1823" CreationDate="2011-06-14T19:23:02.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;[It seems the name of the condition is &quot;Ankyloglossia&quot;, and the procedure is a &quot;lingual frenectomy/frenotomy&quot;.] &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My official &quot;answer&quot; is going to have to be that everyone should &quot;ask your pediatrician, and the doctor doing the surgery&quot;, as they can tailor their answer to your individual patient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that's overly obvious (and somewhat of a non-answer), but the reason I'll emphasize it is because I checked 3 different parent's books (i.e. hardcopy) on children's medical conditions (including the Mayo Clinic guide and the American Academy of Pediatrics) and they had nothing to say about it there, which leads me to believe it may not be much different for children than adults (or can't be answered in a non-patient-specific way). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the condition and procedure go in general (beyond just post-op for children), there seems to already be quite a lot of good quality material easily found with Google, so I won't duplicate all that here.  (One person emphasized just monitoring for excessive tongue swelling and breathing problems... which sounds very sensible.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[Sorry that I can't offer a reply from actual experience, but since no one has replied to you in a week I'm trying to help move the question forward.] &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a follow up, it might be good if you could come back post the answer to your own question, after asking your doctor(s).  Though when it comes to surgery, everyone should still ask their doctor to get their own answers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T19:23:02.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2011-06-14T21:02:50.050" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Chances are, you're not going to find what you're looking for because there are far, far too many other factors to be taken into account in raising kids (home life/family values, life experiences, innate personality, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have mentioned, the best time for them is the best time for you, because if you're so exhausted and stressed from dealing with two young children and working, then you're no good to anyone and you're just hurting yourself physically (remember - mental acuity from lack of sleep is akin to being drunk), mentally, and emotionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids will likely fight and bicker and have issues while they're growing up, no matter what ages they are. They live together, they're going to butt heads, especially since you're planning on homeschooling (where they won't even have as much time apart as kids who go to school outside the home). I doubt you always get along 100% with your spouse, and &lt;em&gt;you picked them&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of getting hung up on their age difference, consider shifting your focus to having your second at a time when you can best meet &lt;em&gt;everyone's&lt;/em&gt; needs, so that you can raise them to be good individuals, without killing yourself or ruining your marriage in the process. If their personalities (something you can't necessarily really change) are close enough, they will likely be close when they get older and can get away from each other for a while. If their personalities clash too much, they'll never grow very close in the long run. Either of these cases would happen regardless of their age difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Full disclosure - I grew up in blended families. I have two younger blood siblings, two and four years younger than me, one of which I'm close to now, but we didn't grow up together. I initially grew up in a house where the next youngest was five years older than me. Then my mom married a man who had 7 kids, two younger by 3 and 5 years, two 2 and 5 years older than me, and three that were out of the house by the time we moved in (between 8 and 20 years older). I've never met the oldest two, somewhat know the next oldest, and lived near/went to school with the youngest four (their mother had custody).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, my mother is the middle of 5. She's disowned her oldest brother, but is especially close to her older sister, and keeps in touch with her younger siblings (2-6 years or so difference between her and each of them). My father is the oldest of three and they're all very close.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T21:02:50.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2011-06-14T21:16:38.003" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember reading from a somewhat scientific source that &lt;strong&gt;5 years&lt;/strong&gt; would be the least problematic. That said, this kind of thing of course depends a lot on the individual case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My source is a finnish book called, &lt;a href=&quot;http://avain.net/julkaisut/tietokirjat/luonnollinen-lapsuus.html&quot;&gt;&quot;Luonnollinen lapsuus&quot;&lt;/a&gt; (translates as &quot;Natural Childhood&quot;). It is written by an evolutionary biologist Tiina Kaitaniemi, and discusses child development and early age baby care and parenting practices from an evolutionary perspective. The book is very straight-to-fact, and &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; cite it's sources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I don't have the book with me right now, so I will later look this information up from the book, and update this answer accordingly.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="258" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T21:16:38.003" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2011-06-14T21:17:42.230" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instead of the bacon we use slices of ham or turkey depending on which brand has less sodium in it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For every meal we use the following rule of thumb&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Protein, fruit or veggies, carbs, dairy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Protein: eggs with chunks of ham, turkey, or cheese in it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fruit or veggies: you could make a large &lt;a href=&quot;http://greenlitebites.com/2011/03/31/strawberry-kiwi-smoothie-with-spinach-an-elastic-recipe-approach/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;green fruit smoothie&lt;/a&gt; for the family to share (they taste better than they look)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carbs: a slice of toast or bread&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dairy: cheese in the eggs, yogurt in the smoothie, or a small glass of milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This meal wouldn't take that much longer for you to make and it would be a good solid healthy meal for the whole family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T21:17:42.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2011-06-14T21:59:08.483" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, you should feed your children &lt;em&gt;at least&lt;/em&gt; an egg a day and you will be doing them a HUGE nutritive favor. Occasionally serving nitrate-free bacon will do no harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say this because of scientific research. There is huge debate in the scientific and research communities about the role of fats in health, the role of cholesterol in heart disease and other ailments, and the relative value of dense carbohydrate consumption compared to other nutrients.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One person posted a link on About.com that suggests limiting yolks to 4 per week, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ajcn.org/content/36/4/617.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hard research tells a different story&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;... no relationship between egg intake and coronary heart disease incidence was found. It is concluded that within the range of egg intake of this population differences in egg consumption were unrelated to blood cholesterol level or to coronary heart disease incidence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know the range of egg intake, but in 912 people you can bet some were avid egg eaters. Even if no one ate more than 4 eggs, there was no difference found at all, so where is the boundary edge where those bad-for-you eggs start to have any deleterious effect at all?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very respected researchers are avidly speaking out against the idea that cholesterol causes disease. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/cholesterol-friend-or-foe/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Cholesterol, Friend or Foe&lt;/a&gt; says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In conclusion, cholesterol is one of the most important substances in the body. We cannot live without it, let alone function well. The pernicious diet-heart hypothesis has vilified this essential substance. Unfortunately, this hypothesis has served many commercial and political interests far too well, so they ensure its long survival. However, the life of the diet-heart hypothesis is coming to an end as we become aware that cholesterol has been mistakenly blamed for the crime just because it was found at the scene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some understanding of why &quot;it is found at the scene:&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Our stress hormones are made out of cholesterol in the body. Stressful situations increase our blood cholesterol levels because cholesterol is being sent to the adrenal glands for stress hormone production. Apart from that, when we are under stress, a storm of free radicals and other damaging biochemical reactions occur in the blood. So the liver works hard to produce and send out as much cholesterol as possible to deal with the free radical attack. In situations like this, your blood cholesterol will test high. In short, when we have a high blood cholesterol level, it means that the body is dealing with some kind of damage. The last thing we should do is interfere with this process! When the damage has been dealt with, the blood cholesterol will naturally go down. If we have an ongoing disease in the body that constantly inflicts damage, then the blood cholesterol will be permanently high. So, when a doctor finds high cholesterol in a patient, what this doctor should do is to look for the reason. The doctor should ask, &quot;What is damaging the body so that the liver has to produce all that cholesterol to deal with the damage?&quot; Unfortunately, instead of this sensible procedure, our doctors are trained to attack the cholesterol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The research I've done has led me to believe that &lt;em&gt;eggs are good for you&lt;/em&gt; and that they are more full of nutrients than any fortified breakfast cereal. Fat in and of itself is not bad for you (though when rancid, oxidized or when containing bonds in the &lt;em&gt;trans&lt;/em&gt; configuration instead of &lt;em&gt;cis&lt;/em&gt; it surely is). While it has more calories per gram, it is also more satiating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nitrates or other preservatives in bacon certainly do speak out against its common use. There are uncured bacons available in some grocery stores (don't be fooled by &lt;em&gt;&quot;no nitrates except for those naturally occurring in celery powder and sea salt&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, as that's just a dishonest and sneaky way to get nitrates in the bacon under another name and deceive you, the consumer—manufacturers feed the celery nitrate water, then extract the nitrates back out, and they extract nitrates from seawater, so it's no different). But the fat in bacon is not inherently bad for you. Want to know more? Read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/the-skinny-on-fats/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Skinny on Fats&lt;/a&gt;. You might also be interested in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/the-oiling-of-america/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Oiling of America&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what the pigs you're eating are fed can make a big difference. Pigs raised on a traditional small-scale farm where they are given nutritious, non-toxic vegetarian foods are going to be a lot more supportive of your body's health than other alternatives. Pigs can eat all sorts of good food scraps from a farm (almost like a replacement compost pile). It's okay to feed them excess cow milk (from healthy cows) if it's also a dairy farm. If the pigs are raised on commercial feed-lots with too many animals in the same space, all indoors, on antibiotics, fed commercial, processed feed full of soy and other toxins, well, that meat is not going to be as good for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Folks, the &lt;em&gt;lipid hypothesis&lt;/em&gt;—that consumption of fats and cholesterol raise cholesterol levels and that these both cause heart and other disease—while still the party line of the medical establishment, is under &lt;em&gt;serious fire&lt;/em&gt; from many researchers out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2016-01-27T16:40:07.453" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T16:40:07.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2011-06-14T22:40:42.030" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is 20+ years younger than her next oldest sister.  While this is obviously an extreme case, it does demonstrate that there &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be too big of a span between children, although obviously this depends largely upon the personalities of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say this because the middle sister had a fair amount of responsibility for taking care of my wife as an infant, and wound up having a lot of resentment towards her, as well.  To this day, it strains their relationship significantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older sister actually at times claims to be &quot;like a mother&quot; to my wife, and sometimes seems confused about what her role now should be (this also causes significant strain on the relationship, as well as upsetting my mother-in-law).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, this is an extreme example.  However, I would suggest, at the least, having your second child while your daughter is still, well, a child.  I have seen similar situations with friends, where the older siblings were teenagers when the youngest was born, and while not all of them had similar issues, my personal opinion based on these observations is that it would be preferable to have the youngest before the oldest becomes a teenager, unless it is a larger family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-06-14T22:40:42.030" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1953" CreationDate="2011-06-15T00:21:43.823" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The esophagus of a child is about the diameter of a hot dog or a grape. So, as a guide, make the pieces smaller than that. We quartered our hot dogs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choking is a problem if children stuff their mouths with food and if they are moving around with food in their mouths. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were late starting the rule not to leave the table until your mouth is empty, having learned that from a babysitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T00:21:43.823" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1944" CreationDate="2011-06-15T02:15:56.097" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that at your daughter's age, she is totally capable of controlling herself or even understanding what an apology is. She does know or can feel the intense emotions that come during and after hitting. I would let her know that hitting isn't allowed and that you won't let her hurt another child. Move her away if need be and watch for signs that she might be getting ready to hit so you can stop it. The nanny can keep your daughter close to her if need be. Keep the tone firm, but neutral (what I've noticed with my son is that the stronger my reaction, the stronger he comes right back at me and meets that energy level). But also see if you can help her to verbalize her feelings and find other ways to express her anger - stomping feet, shaking fists, etc. Get on her level and say what you're seeing...&quot;you really wanted that...and you can't have it....,&quot; etc. Don't lecture, try to rationalize, or shame. When she gets older, you can encourage her to use her words instead of hitting. She should be allowed her feelings though.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="814" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-15T05:30:33.317" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T05:30:33.317" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-06-15T06:39:05.620" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler's appetite seems to vary in large swings from month to month, but when she's in a phase where she seems to be eating too little we've noticed that different eating positions can affect how much she eats.  Sometimes she will only focus and eat much if she's in her high chair w/tray; sometimes she hates the high chair and will eat more feeding herself finger food on a blanket on the floor, sometimes she best likes to sit in my lap and have me feed her facing away, sometimes she is most interested in trying to feed herself with a toy fork; and if all else fails we'll sometimes put on a video for her and feed her while she's watching, as she's somewhat distracted and will eat without scrutinizing it. &#xA;So, maybe try mixing up the feeding style? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T06:39:05.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2011-06-15T08:38:10.293" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 27 (and male); my two sisters are 25 and 16. I'm speaking from that experience, and from observation of other sibling-sets I've known well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I'd say that two kids who are close in age will be in constant interaction with each other, while kids who are farther apart will be more distant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Closely-spaced kids move in similar fields and circles&lt;/strong&gt; - they're likely to be in the same school in the same time; to demand attention in similar areas at the same time; to constantly compare themselves to each other. The huge pro here is that this gives them a constant companion; the huge con is that it can also give them a constant competitor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know I spent a lot of my childhood playing with my sister; we're very close, and have always been mercifully spared the typical sibling-rivalry issues. I've seen vast variety in terms of relationships between close siblings - everything from &quot;bestest buddies&quot; to &quot;oh, that guy?&quot; to &quot;grrr I will not sit in the same room with you.&quot; I really don't think there's any way to predict where on the spectrum any particular group of siblings will fall - but I think that's the spectrum to be looking at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The more distantly-spaced the children are, the less this will be true.&lt;/strong&gt; With a wide enough age gap, you'll have less of a &quot;close siblings&quot; relationship and more of a clearly imbalanced &quot;assistant caretaker&quot; relationship. This removes a ton of the potential conflict in childhood and teen years - but later on in life, these siblings might not feel as close to each other, or know how to relate well to them. I'm very close to both my sisters - but I was babysitting my younger sister through high-school, out of the house when she was in elementary school, and married before she turned 13. So even though in theory a 27-year old brother could have a close and evenly-balanced relationship with his 16-year old sister, and even though in just a couple of years we'll both be Semi-Responsible Adults, our relationship is informed by a ton of time when that wasn't the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If what I'm saying here rings true to you, &lt;strong&gt;bear in mind that I'm talking about small gaps vs. big ones&lt;/strong&gt;, rather than precise numbers. If you're debating between a 2 year gap or a 3 year gap, that's really not enough of a difference to base a choice on. If you're debating between a 2 year gap and a 5 year gap, then &lt;em&gt;that's&lt;/em&gt; already a major difference. An easy trick would be this: choose some gaps that sound reasonable to you, and run along the line, figuring out how that gap is likely to affect the kids at every stage. For example, if Junior is born 3 years after Senior:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In Junior's infancy, Senior might be too young to be able to play with Junior or interact with him much. He might also be young enough for serious resentment to be a factor, though this would just be phase.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When Senior was 9 and Junior 6, you could home-school them both together, but they'd probably need different activities most of the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you weren't home-schooling them, they might go to the same schools (some of the time), but they'd be pretty far apart - so probably not getting in each others' ways.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When they were 15 and 12, there's probably a lot of stuff they could have fun doing together (games, sports, activities).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When they're in their late 20's, they'd be very close age-wise, and could consider each other good friends.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...and so on. You've got a whole slew of considerations; getting a sense of how each option would work out over time might help you choose the considerations that are most important to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember also that &lt;strong&gt;the sibling dynamic is also heavily affected by the &lt;em&gt;number&lt;/em&gt; of kids in the family&lt;/strong&gt;; that should be considered as well. 2 siblings 2 years apart might be in a toss-up between &quot;best buddy&quot; and &quot;fierce rival&quot;, but 5 siblings with 2-year-gaps between them might be a rambunctious gang - with more people and a wide range of ages, competition might be less of an issue, whereas getting attention and breathing space might become more pressing difficulties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T08:38:10.293" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1823" CreationDate="2011-06-15T12:30:47.277" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry, forgot I had this.  Although the surgery was really quick, especially for an older child, here is what I learned about the frenectomy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Infants, and young children, who don't have that much control over their tongues get this with a local anesthetic.  The idea is that general anesthesia is not appropriate for infants at times, and because they don't have the control over the tongue that would cause issues during the surgery it tends to be a quick snip.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Older children, get general anesthesia, then a device is put into their mouths to keep the tongue steady and in the proper position.  Then the snip is made under the tongue to allow the tongue free-er movement in the mouth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surgery was just under 20 minutes for us, and in the recovery room my son came out of it fairly quick, we were in for pre, op and post maybe for 2 hours.  Afterwards they gave us a prescriptioni for antibiotics, as a precaution and told us to watch out for any fever within the next 24-48 hours.  During his time in post-op my son was offered some cool drinks and popsicles, we were told cool items were ok.  We were also told to avoid sugary things, just out of concern for anything on his teeth, and when brushing to avoid too much on the inside of the teeth next to the tongue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son thought his tongue felt funny for the first day, partly from the numbness and the stitches put in, the stitches were dissolvable ones and would only last a few days but there was nothing to worry about.  If there were problems with brushing we were told to just have him rinse out his mouth with some salted water, no real food avoidances but we figured anything too sweet, spicy or hot were good to avoid.  Otherwise things were good and he's feeling great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T12:30:47.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1953" CreationDate="2011-06-15T12:35:23.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've always made the food small, depending on age and size we've expanded the food from about the size of a pinky (small finger) nail up to &quot;kid bite-size&quot;.  It also depends on if the child knows how to chew, or can break up the food in their mouth.  Toast was good for us since it was grippable, and the toast begins to break up in the mouth, fries and similar items were the same.  We've given steamed rice, my wife is Chinese so it's with most every meal, as well as small pieces of chicken, even BBQ since the meat tends to be very tender and breaks up nicely; strangely my son loved BBQ from when he could eat at the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I concur with the &quot;choking&quot; comments, my son has done the same thing but so long as he is breathing we've left him alone and tend to give him some water right after, that tends to help him swallow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T12:35:23.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1934" CreationDate="2011-06-15T12:47:10.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This tends to progress naturally, my wife speaks to our kids in Mandarin mostly, while I am using English and they've learned both words.  We encourage them when they use the words with us, and I repeat it to make sure that what they say and I hear are the same, sometimes they repeat it if I get it incorrect.  Slowly they learned to use one language with me and one with my wife, my oldest speaks back to my wife in Mandarin and understands her, but also speaks and understands English with me - we try not to mix yet and my oldest gets upset when I do.  Encourage the words anyway, you'll probably get some mixing at first, we did, although it also took awhile before our oldest really started talking because he was not comfortable with either language yet but once he started he did not stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T12:47:10.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2011-06-15T13:41:17.903" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the firstborn. My brother is 3 year younger than me. We spent our childhood fighting.&#xA;We have another brother and sister - they are one year apart from each other and 16/17 years apart from me. they never fought a day in their lives - perhaps because they're a boy and a girl. Me and my brother never had problems with them - we helped raising them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T13:41:17.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1934" CreationDate="2011-06-15T14:58:59.847" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she's that young, I'd say don't worry about it. Don't stress her out too much. Keep speaking to her in your language (which is a good thing, but not even that is strictly necessary according to bilingual research). Accept whatever she produces as it is. She's smart, eventually she'll get both words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a year or two, you can start worrying about re-inforcing the minority language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Curiously enough, there is some evidence that one &quot;problem&quot; with raising bilingual kids is that &lt;em&gt;the parents have more trouble understanding them&lt;/em&gt;. Because we don't know which language they are trying to imitate, they are harder to understand at first. Therefore, we can erroneously think that they are delayed in speach capability.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="27" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T14:58:59.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-06-15T16:50:14.230" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes this is just the kid in general, my oldest tended to be on the taller/thinner side although he had a good appetite growing up.  He was breast-fed until almost 1.5 years, my 14 month old still gets a little although he is a pudgy and has a great appetite.  What we tried to do was give something else after our son decided he was not going to eat more of one thing, that way we kept him eating.  I have noticed that when the kids are VERY active, their appetites sometimes go down even when expending lots of calories, and other times they are more hungry when not doing much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few times our old pediatrician told us to work on the eating and weight gain, sometimes we succeeded and other times we did not.  We just dealt with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I look at it, if the kid is still growing, eating a wide variety of foods, then things are fine and every child being different will grow and eat in different ways.  You seem to be doing the right things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T16:50:14.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1978" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-15T16:59:42.793" Score="30" ViewCount="4427" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is quite related to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1090/raising-a-child-with-religious-views&quot;&gt;THIS&lt;/a&gt; question about how to deal with a non-religiously-participating child when both parents are Christian. My situation is a bit different, and while some of the answers at the other question touch on my own questions, I'm also looking for a different &lt;em&gt;type&lt;/em&gt; of answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I married as very strong, faithful Catholics. I began questioning the basis for my belief about 1.5 years ago and have researched my way into non-belief. We have a three year old and a one year old. We've progressed considerably in dealing with how much difficulty this caused to our own relationship, but the question of how to raise our children remains the most heated and disagreed upon aspect of our marriage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I blog and wrote about my take on the options &lt;a href=&quot;http://technologeekery.blogspot.com/2011/02/on-unequally-yoked-marriage-part-2-of.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;HERE&lt;/a&gt;, seeing them as three:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She raises them Catholic and I keep my mouth shut (for the most part)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We both fight for our children's minds and teach-as-true our opposing views&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We raise them to be &lt;em&gt;aware&lt;/em&gt; of many religious views, but do not teach-as-true any of them, instilling only such things as have been universally established as truth throughout history&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While my current take is that the third option is the most reasonable, she wants some form of the first option (though she would let me express my views fairly openly). I'm not a fan as I have an extremely hard time allowing my children to be told things that I have researched quite heavily and believe to be full of contradictions and for which I believe no evidential basis exists. On the other hand, my hunch is that the second option would be more psychologically harmful than either of the others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the specific questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there any evidence to support one of these alternatives more than the others?&lt;/strong&gt; As opposed to the answers on the other question, I'm primarily looking for &lt;em&gt;studies&lt;/em&gt; about these issues, &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; personal opinion or even &quot;observational data&quot; -- we see only what we look for, and are all prone to bias; thus, I'd love studies about children in mixed-religious homes or input from authors on the subject.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; open to &lt;em&gt;single data point&lt;/em&gt; input from parents in this situation who have been different faiths from very early on in their children's lives and who can comment on any positive or negative statements their children have made &lt;em&gt;as adults&lt;/em&gt; about the situation. In other words, can someone from a Christian/non-believer marriage pass along input from how their children perceived this tension, whether it game them more respect for the marriage, helped them to be more accepting of differences... or perhaps made them feel unsafe as a child due to differences, confused, etc. Hopefully that makes sense. I don't anticipate accepting any answers from this category, but will definitely upvote for input.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, neither of us want to give up our voice in the relationship, and that makes this very difficult. I'm open to following the data if it supports that raising a child with non-conflicting views is the most psychologically healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the perspective of the non-believer, I worry that my children, if raised to believe that Catholicism is true, will not be able to openly research the data later in life, and also, since deconverting, do not think a child's mind can, say, actually comprehend the back-story to transubstantiation at age seven when requested to assent to first communion. Thus, it's, again, quite difficult to allow these things to happen since the Catholic Church has such a regimented plan laid out for children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1160" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T15:00:40.203" Title="What are the psychological impacts of a split-religion household?" Tags="|teaching|psychology|religion|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2011-06-15T18:46:27.087" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the point of view of the mother and child's health, &lt;a href=&quot;http://newsmomsneed.marchofdimes.com/?tag=birth-spacing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;spacing pregnancies&lt;/a&gt; is important. The  minimal recommended time between pregnancies varies from 18 month to &lt;a href=&quot;http://health.utah.gov/mihp/pregnancy/preged/afterpreg/Pregnancy_Spacing.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;at least 2 ½ years to 3 years&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorUserId="574" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T13:24:06.257" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T13:24:06.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-06-15T19:54:15.227" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In school, I learned that the distinction between left-wing and right-wing is as simple as a matter of how people in the first parliaments of Europe seated themselves. Politicians that ran in similar circles sat near each other, and groups that were at least somewhat closely aligned tended to sit near members of other parties that they could stand well enough to coalition with on certain issues. The oversimplified version was that they wanted to sit near their friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that the above description is more accurate than the individual freedom/collective good distinction that you're making. If you consider the anarcho-syndicalist tradition (and what parent doesn't, really?) there was an attempt to allow collective good and individual freedom to coexist by making membership in your society something voluntary, where you agreed to certain rules within that community but in the absence of some powerful, central government. And &quot;right wing&quot; wasn't always about individual freedom/freedom from government; it's historically often been quite the opposite, and this disconnect continues between the different factions of the Republican party that say that individuals shouldn't be allowed to do things that libertarian factions of the Republican party consider to be a matter of individual freedom. Similar inconsistencies exist within the left, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the contemporary political sphere, the distinction between &quot;left&quot; and &quot;right&quot; is so convoluted that I'm not even sure I understand it anymore, and I was obsessed about such details as a progressive, individual freedom- and collective good-loving college student. As a parent, it might be fairer to explain that the distinctions are really not as black-and-white as they seem. My mother, who leaned toward the Democratic Party but was, and is skeptical of all politicians in general, said things like the Democratic candidates &quot;tended&quot; to support X/Y/Z, and the Republican candidates &quot;tended&quot; not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case, I plan on teaching the historical distinctions, attempt to clarify my understanding of the current differences between the left and right, and acknowledge that my understanding is probably not the final authority, and that these distinctions change in subtle ways over time. Then I'd focus on teaching what I value, rather than trying to keep straight which side is which. Objectivity isn't that important when talking about politics anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1105" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T19:54:15.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2011-06-15T20:18:55.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's simple. One side is right, one side is wrong. ;0)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that in the US, and especially elsewhere (Canada, Europe, etc.) political beliefs do not fall easily on a 1 dimensional line. You really need to plot them on a x/y axis and, even then, there's a whole world of variety there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your goal should simply explain how the legislative branch works. And part of that is our political party system. People have certain believes and will often align themselves into a group of similar minded people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, teach them how to think...evaluate...observe...empathize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a degree in Global Economics wouldn't hurt, either. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-06-15T20:18:55.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1925" CreationDate="2011-06-16T06:37:20.260" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just would like to mention some notes from the book &lt;em&gt;Nurture Shock&lt;/em&gt;. Their review of relevant research on spanking suggests that it is harmful when it is used as a special, last-ditch punishment. I know that your question is not primarily about spanking, but I hope this information can be helpful to you as you decide whether and how spanking will be part of your disciplinary style. Here is an excerpt (emphases in original):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a culture where spanking is accepted practice, it becomes &amp;quot;the normal thing that goes on in this culture when a kid does something he shouldn't.&amp;quot; Even if the parent might spank her child only two or three times in his life, it's treated as ordinary consequences. In the black community Dodge studied, a spank was seen as something that every kid went through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conversely, in the white community Dodge studied, physical discipline was a mostly-unspoken taboo. It was saved &lt;em&gt;only for the worst offenses&lt;/em&gt;. The parent was usually very angry at the child and had lost his or her temper. The implicit message was: &amp;quot;What you have done is so deviant that you deserve &lt;em&gt;special&lt;/em&gt; punishment, which is spanking.&amp;quot; It marked the child as someone who has lost his place within traditional society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not just a white-black thing either. A University of Texas study of Conservative Protestants found that one-third of them spanking their kids three or more times &lt;em&gt;a week&lt;/em&gt;, largely encourage by Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family. The study found no negative effects from this corporal punishment—precisely because it was conveyed as normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The conclusion was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children key off their parents' reactions more than the argument or physical discipline itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=AlknZbhbUPAC&amp;amp;pg=PT75&amp;amp;dq=nurture+shock+spanking&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;ei=z575TamAL4qmsQOaxMHeBQ&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;oi=book_result&amp;amp;ct=result&amp;amp;resnum=1&amp;amp;ved=0CCwQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;amp;q&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;read the whole section directly in Google books&lt;/a&gt; if you are interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since writing this post, I've had several more years parenting experience, and that as a far-less-than-perfect parent. In that time, I've concluded that despite my best intentions, spanking was harmful to my own child, and it is not used in our house currently—and this has been made clear to my son that spanking is off the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In another household where the parents are far superior to me, I could see spanking. But I'm not good enough to use it properly--my son was responding in fear to spanking even though it had been many months since the last time. That made it clear it just had to go away as an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, take the above study with a grain of salt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2022-02-24T17:17:50.430" LastActivityDate="2022-02-24T17:17:50.430" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="1983" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1985" CreationDate="2011-06-16T08:31:26.393" Score="9" ViewCount="39240" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2000&amp;amp;e=product&amp;amp;pid=38314&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Fisher-Price baby swing&lt;/a&gt; that my 7-week-old is spending a lot of time in :) I've found that I often put him in wide awake, and a short while later he's soundly sleeping. Is it ok to leave him asleep in the swing? Is there any reason to move him to a crib or bassinet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/OyWpw.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:37:09.603" LastActivityDate="2017-09-26T14:08:37.113" Title="Is it ok for my baby to sleep in his swing?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1978" CreationDate="2011-06-16T09:00:16.653" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the following, I'll answer from my perspective as a son of a nonreligious father, and as a nonreligious father myself.  &lt;strong&gt;Summary: Mixing a Christian and a strong nonbeliever &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; cause significant tension.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it that ridiculous to request data to support conclusions one way or the other?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possibly yes. We'd all like to have more solid evidence concerning our questions but the simple truth is that parenting is not so well researched as to provide publicly available information on &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; aspect. If it were, I think this site could be replaced by a focused Google search portal. I think we &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to lean on other users' actual experiences, even if they're just single data points, and accept the lack of rigorous scientific evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;can someone from a Christian/non-believer marriage pass along input from how their children perceived this tension&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents don't share belief, and neither do my wife and I. In both cases, the wife is a (pretty relaxed) Christian and the husband is decidedly nonreligious. This certainly caused/causes tension at several points in life and during the year. The tension isn't so bad that I'd recommend avoiding it, but it's something to be aware of, as husband and father, in your case and mine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Warning:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;I'm a very strong nonbeliever, but I do respect others to do as they please. I'll keep my opinions to myself unless specifically asked. I'm writing the following because &lt;a href=&quot;http://technologeekery.blogspot.com/2011/02/post-series-on-unequally-yoked-marriage.html&quot;&gt;based on his blog posts&lt;/a&gt; I think the asker is in my exact situation. What follows is not meant as an attack or personal insult on anyone. It is meant to illustrate why there will be tension. Please don't flame me for it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;One very big source of the tension is the nonreligious part being very openly certain&lt;/strong&gt; about &quot;there is no God, it's a mass illusion, and I'll never grok why otherwise sane people would succumb to such foolishness&quot;. Sometimes I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; that direct, even with my wife, but mostly I am smart enough to moderate my statements enough to avoid pointless hurt and hostility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Another source of tension is how to handle religious rituals,&lt;/strong&gt; especially since I'm quite strictly nonreligious. A few examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Marriage:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I am married, but not in a church. I would never say my &lt;em&gt;yes&lt;/em&gt; under the imagined blessing of an imagined figure. I said my &lt;em&gt;yes&lt;/em&gt; in front of the city official and in front of our guests; &lt;em&gt;actual living people&lt;/em&gt; I care about and whom I feel responsible toward (not sure I expressed that right; I'm not a native English speaker). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Baptism:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; In my culture, children are usually baptized when a few months old. I resisted that since long before we had children (we were smart enough to talk about things in advance). My stance is that I'm not going to subscribe my child into a mass illusion I don't believe in. I'm not going to accept congratulations from guests on something I think is false (please note: not &quot;wrong&quot; like &quot;abuse&quot;, merely &quot;false&quot; like &quot;unreal&quot;).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Ironically, in the end I agreed to the baptism but we failed to find a usable godfather for our son, so he wasn't baptized after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Others' rituals:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When attending other people's rituals, I come along somewhat unwillingly and solely out of respect for the people who invited me; I appreciate that I'm never required to &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; anything - and would refuse to, causing great pain and embarrassment for others, and unending scorn from my wife. I do think that a church marriage is a &lt;em&gt;beautiful ritual&lt;/em&gt;; it's just ridiculous &lt;em&gt;to me personally&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Religious events:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I'm glad that my wife is a very relaxed Christian (otherwise I likely wouldn't have married her). We easily agree that we don't need to go to church for yearly religious events such as Xmas and Easter. But here in Austria, presents aren't delivered by &lt;em&gt;Santa Claus&lt;/em&gt; such as I'm used to from my home country, but rather by the &lt;em&gt;Christkind&lt;/em&gt; such as is usual in Austria and southern Germany. It's just a word, no big deal. But my son is certainly going to be confused when I say a fat bearded man is coming on a sleigh, and my wife says that a child in a nightgown is coming with the presents. I'm sure this will become a problem when my son is old enough to understand more of what we're saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Religion in school:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I had very poor religion teachers in my school time (in Denmark), so I'm openly worried that my son will be indoctrinated by the Austrian schools' classes on religion (state religion is Catholicism). These classes are only mandatory if the child has &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; religion. As is the case for my son, he doesn't officially have a religion so he may even be &lt;em&gt;excluded&lt;/em&gt; from those classes - which might be just as bad. I &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; my son to learn about religions, but I want it treated as scientifically as, say, history - no particular emphasis on any one religion, and certainly no ridiculing judgment (as I experienced in my school years). Honestly, I think religion has historically been (and still is!) a major cause of war and misery, except perhaps for a precious few religions like Buddhism and Hinduism (not sure though; haven't learned enough about these).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Bottom line: the schools' treatment of religion is certain to be a point of conflict that I am not looking forward to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I just realized that I didn't actually answer your question; the only bold-type in your post. How did the tension between my parents affect me? I'm not sure it's because of &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; but I grew up with a deep respect and curiosity for &lt;em&gt;science&lt;/em&gt;. I feel that my &quot;scorn&quot; for religion is based on that, more than on my upbringing as such, but perhaps I am merely rationalizing. My father was as openly critical of religion as I am now, my mother disliked that criticism but at the same time never &quot;preached&quot; or insisted on any religious aspects or rituals. In hindsight I'm sure my father should have been more lenient with regard to religion; perhaps he taught me by strong example to not care for it. Writing this, I realize I should be more lenient too, but I find that very hard.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your third choice is the wisest&lt;/strong&gt; for both you and your wife, in my opinion. It allows the child to form an own opinion. That of course holds the risk for either parent that the child might choose the &quot;wrong&quot; (other) path, because each parent understandably wants to win the child for his/her camp. This is surely why your wife prefers option 1, but that option is not fair to you though. Can you sit down and agree on some areas that are more important than others, so that compromises can be made more easily on topics that aren't critical anyway? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-03T16:56:01.867" LastActivityDate="2011-09-03T16:56:01.867" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1983" CreationDate="2011-06-16T09:11:12.940" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll offer two replies, depending on how your baby swing looks and works:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The user &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1830/is-crib-use-mostly-universal/1834#1834&quot;&gt;Swati wrote that a hammock-style swing is common&lt;/a&gt; in Indian culture. It's apparently not toddler-proof in the way that a crib is, but at 7 weeks that is not a concern.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When our son was an infant, he loved to swing in the infant car seat (safely suspended in a door frame using hooks and ropes), and often fell asleep in it. Since the infant car seat is &lt;em&gt;made&lt;/em&gt; to provide a safe and comfortable position for the baby, we had no concerns about him sleeping in it. But we often moved him from the seat to his crib in the bedroom once he was sleeping deeply, mostly out of practical considerations - the car-seat-swing blocked the doorway :) and we had to be rather quiet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Updates:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The swing you're linking to in your comment provides a somewhat upright position. Be aware that most physiotherapists (source: I'm married to one) will tell you that &lt;strong&gt;infants should not be upright&lt;/strong&gt; until they can sit on their own - before that, the spine and upper body is not sufficiently developed to support the weight of the head and body. So if your swing allows leaning the child back to (almost?) flat, it would be better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The infant car seat also has a somewhat upright seating position, so we tried to make sure it was leaned as far back as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How flat is flat? That depends on how much you believe the physio arguments. Again based on my wife's comments, I'd say the spine/back should be angled no more than 15-20 degrees above level, but this is not at all an exact statement! I think the underlying &lt;em&gt;idea&lt;/em&gt; is to avoid a lengthwise compression in the spine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T11:58:35.040" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1986" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1990" CreationDate="2011-06-16T10:02:01.983" Score="5" ViewCount="58322" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 7 weeks old, and we have some concerns about his eyesight. When he was first born we were nervous because he would often bulge both eyes out - looked like he was kind of straining and his eyes were popping out of his head. He has grown out of this, though (although he still has big eyes :) ). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are slightly concerned because he doesn't often make eye contact - he is always looking all the way up, and often everywhere besides our faces when we're trying to catch his attention. It looks like he's just wandering around and exploring... But often we'll put our faces right up to his and he'll look everywhere else and act as if he doesn't see us. And the same for following movement. He often looks all the way up as if staring at the light (which he likes to do)... even if there's no light there. Note, though - he &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; occasionally make eye contact or follow a moving object, just not consistently. He also was an early smiler (at about 4 weeks) which I assume means he can see - he always locks eyes and watches us smile before smiling back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any reason to be concerned or are we overreacting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-16T11:04:02.267" LastActivityDate="2017-03-10T21:52:10.403" Title="Should I be worried about my baby's eyesight?" Tags="|infant|newborn|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1983" CreationDate="2011-06-16T10:03:39.923" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used a similar swing (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000NUJM0G&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Boppy&lt;/a&gt;) which allowed for my son to be a little more reclined than the FP one you have. As long as his head isn't flopping around and he can't fall out of it, having him in the swing won't hurt him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can see your FP swing also has a neck support for infants, that's good - if it reclines more, then it'll be even better for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note: My son was visiting his farmor today (grandmother) and she had the swing out for her other grandson to use... but Matthias got to it first (at 3 years old) and took a nap in it with it running.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;LOL!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastEditorUserId="583" LastEditDate="2011-06-16T19:22:43.267" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T19:22:43.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1989" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1998" CreationDate="2011-06-16T10:33:03.647" Score="5" ViewCount="1730" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1435/how-to-operate-a-successful-star-chart&quot;&gt;How to operate a successful &amp;ldquo;Star Chart&amp;rdquo;?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our nanny came up with an idea today to create a sort of table for our daughter, where they would draw a sun or smiley when my daughter behaves well and a sad face otherwise. Then we (the parents) would discuss the table with our daughter, offer her some sort of reward when there are many smileys, and explain that we are upset when there are many sad faces. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does it make sense? Are there any risks with this kind of approach?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2017-08-22T21:01:02.963" Title="Should we use a smiley chart to reward/punish our toddler?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|reward|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1986" CreationDate="2011-06-16T11:12:15.510" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you're seeing is probably the fact that the eyesight is not fully developed at birth, because proper eyesight as we know it takes several months to develop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the beginning, newborns can't make any sense at all of what they're seeing. They have no depth perception so everything is two-dimensional, and they only really perceive things that are &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; close to their face. They also are also much better at seeing dark/light contrasts than colors (ThinkGeek.com used to sell a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=baby%20mobile%20contrast&quot;&gt;high-contrast mobile&lt;/a&gt;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The newborn’s visual acuity (sharpness of vision) is approximately 20/400. This is equivalent to seeing only the big letter “E” on an eye chart. Vision slowly improves to 20/20 by age 2 years. Color vision is present at birth.  Newborns at first don’t pay much attention to the visual world but normally will blink when light shines in their eye. By 6 to 8 weeks of age, infants will fix their gaze on an object and follow its movement.  A baby’s eyes should be well aligned (working as a team) by 4 months of age. As the eyes become aligned, three-dimensional vision develops.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.uic.edu/com/eye/LearningAboutVision/EyeFacts/BabyEyes.shtml&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More links about eyesight:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childhealth.co.uk/common_questions/development_of_eyesight.php&quot;&gt;What can my newborn actually see?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caringfornewborns.com/newborn_eyesight/newborn_eyesight.html&quot;&gt;Infants might see more than we thought&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;see also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=newborn%20eyesight&quot;&gt;Google newborn eyesight&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-16T19:06:26.333" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T19:06:26.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1989" CreationDate="2011-06-16T11:20:53.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think what you're looking for is covered here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1435/how-to-operate-a-successful-star-chart&quot;&gt;How to operate a successful “Star Chart”?&lt;/a&gt; &#xA;I think that topic covers the same ideas and aspects - though admittedly at two years old, your child can't actively participate in formulating the goals, but in my opinion the rest remains valid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if your nanny's idea is really effective to use &lt;em&gt;with a two-year-old&lt;/em&gt; but I can see how it can be a useful tool &lt;em&gt;between the nanny and the parents&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T11:20:53.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1992" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="1994" CreationDate="2011-06-16T13:41:35.920" Score="18" ViewCount="17010" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is almost seven years old and still can't ride a bike.  He loves to be outside and play, and he wants to ride a bike.  His bike has training wheels, but the moment I take them off and try to help him ride, he's not even close to exerting any kind of balance-- he's basically just falling over and crashing every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This past weekend we kept going down a slight hill and he just doesn't react to falling over (other than to keep falling).  For those suggesting taking the pedals off-- he has the same problem keeping balance on a scooter.  The gyro-wheel idea is cool, but I'm going to keep trying this downhill thing everyday for a while before spending the money on that wheel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1166" LastEditorUserId="1166" LastEditDate="2011-06-27T16:29:46.817" LastActivityDate="2014-02-13T14:37:16.813" Title="How can I teach my son to ride a bike?" Tags="|teaching|" AnswerCount="18" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-16T14:01:36.137" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You didn't ask for shopping recommendations (and this site isn't really meant for it) but might be a useful tool for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thegyrobike.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.thegyrobike.com&lt;/a&gt; is a bike - or you can buy just the front wheel - with a big gyroscope inside. It essentially keeps the bike upright and pushes against any instability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd think this would be a fabulous solution in your situation. You can set the gyro to different speeds, depending on how much assistance you want to be present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I saw this a year ago and immediately thought &lt;em&gt;cool, that's what I'd get for my son when he's older!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T14:01:36.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-16T16:00:36.933" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Find a &lt;em&gt;low&lt;/em&gt; grade hill, a hill that will let the bike move forward without effort but isn't steep enough to have him traveling at warp speed. Start low on the hill at first and have your son not pedal. The momentum will help balance the bike and your son will get the hang of it. As he does move further up the hill. Once he's no longer thinking about balancing (because that's the real issue with riding a bike you don't think about it you just do it). Start teaching him on flat land to get the bike started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The longer you wait the harder it is. I taught my first daughter when she was 7 and it took a couple hours at the park. I taught my second daughter when she was just turning 5 and it took about 3 minutes (no lie) because she didn't think about it at all, just hopped on and started to pedal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1015" LastEditorUserId="377" LastEditDate="2012-04-19T18:34:11.293" LastActivityDate="2012-04-19T18:34:11.293" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-16T16:48:58.927" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just to add what was written already, put those training wheels back on until he gets used to riding.  My son is 5 and been riding off and on, mostly off, for a year and still has the training wheels on.  I'll take them off when I feel he has gotten stable on the bike, but so far its been good.  I take rides with him so he gets some distance and builds up the leg muscles, just make sure the sidewalks are smooth otherwise you end up having to push them out of small depressions that keep the rear wheel from touching the ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure they learn to use the brake as well, I bring my son to small hills and keep telling him to get used to kicking the pedals back to stop the bike so when he has no training wheels he can go as fast as he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T16:48:58.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1983" CreationDate="2011-06-16T16:59:51.930" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a Graco baby swing similar to the one in the picture below, and all 3 of our boys periodically fell asleep in it with no side effects.  It has a four-point harness but no particular head or neck support.  I'd say your swing looks better for sleeping in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/FQZcs.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;graco baby swing&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="383" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T16:59:51.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1989" CreationDate="2011-06-16T17:29:48.660" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the nanny's idea is basically a good one. A slightly better approach may be to reward your daughter for good behavior with smiley faces or happy stickers, and to ignore or not dwell on negative behavior. Children like attention whether negative or positive, and it is often wiser to not reinforce negative behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1168" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T17:29:48.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1989" CreationDate="2011-06-16T17:35:21.373" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would have serious reservations about such a system.  As TorbenGB mentioned, it might be a useful tool for &lt;em&gt;you to communicate with the nanny&lt;/em&gt;, but young children have difficulty associating negative (or positive) reinforcement with behavior that did not &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt; precede the reinforcement.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter may have a great deal of difficulty connecting discussion of smiley/frowney faces at the end of the week (or even at the end of the day) with any behavior that prompted the nanny to give the stickers (IMO I'm understating it by saying &quot;great deal of difficulty&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T17:35:21.373" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="1999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-16T18:01:02.103" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Couple of things that worked for me... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First (and what was most effective), it's really helpful if there's an adjustment (up and down) on the training wheels themselves.  That can allow you to adjust them upwards a little at a time on each side so that rather than having all 4 wheels on the floor at a time, there's a little more side to side movement.  As your son gets more comfortable, you can keep moving them up until he's essentially riding on two wheels but with the psychological security of the training wheels still being there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, I found it helped to go for 2 wheels in a place that had plenty of grassy run off and no hill.  We used the track at our local high school.  The thought of a never ending incline was too much for our little one, and after the prep she cycled right off in a second.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1169" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T18:01:02.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-06-16T19:33:25.240" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an Englishman living in the US, this is a never ending topic of interest, intrigue and amusement for my 2 young daughters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conceptually, there are quite a few different angles that one can take this from (probably depending on age) that can make pretty interesting explanations &amp;amp; discussions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Historical&lt;/strong&gt; - it's pretty fun to explain how over the last several hundred years people have moved around the world, and in this case how the expansion (and subsequent contraction) of the British Empire has led to dispersement of the language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Evolutionary&lt;/strong&gt; - Given the dispersement, explain how things can diverge over time (spelling, pronunciation and so forth).  This is a nice way to explain the  beauty of language and how it can be different and yet but the same.  Also a nice lead in to other evolutionary concepts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Differences&lt;/strong&gt; - How any differences across cultures, geographies, countries etc. present these interesting and fun situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1169" LastActivityDate="2011-06-16T19:33:25.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-17T09:18:15.807" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;What worked for me with all my kids was the way my dad taught me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get a reasonably large open space with nothing to crash into - for me it was an airport runway, for my kids a car park&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;remove the training wheels entirely&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get them to pedal at a speed you can comfortably jog at - the key to cycling is the pedalling, as a beginner does not yet know how to use the gyroscopic forces of the wheels correctly and the pedals give a lot more control over keeping upright&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hold the back of their jacket tightly - this is a lot easier with a 4 year old than with a 7 year old, but it still works&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;initially help support them a little, but let them wobble - and when they do, push them slightly in the direction they should be leaning to bring the bike back under them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;after a few minutes they will get the hang of this so do less, while keeping your grip to reassure them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;after half an hour you should be jogging round behind them without actually holding them at all - once they realise this and get over the surprise they will be good for a bit&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until it comes to stopping...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;here, I think the best bet is to get them to ride towards you and pull on both brakes hard, just before they hit you - this way you can help them stop if they aren't using the brakes hard enough, and you can catch them if they mess up. (advice - don't get them to ride fast yet :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-06-18T19:14:08.440" LastActivityDate="2011-06-18T19:14:08.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1989" CreationDate="2011-06-17T11:54:52.897" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My local nursery gives the kids a sticker if they were very good that day, but even at 4 years old they can have difficulty understanding the cumulative total. ie they are very happy to get a sticker for a good day, and may understand the fact they have a lot of stickers but not tie that back to the difference between 4 good days and eight good days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-06-17T11:54:52.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2004" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2019" CreationDate="2011-06-17T12:29:13.197" Score="10" ViewCount="3709" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm volunteering at a primary school. One of the things that we're keen on is teaching mathematics via games. I'm looking for games that people have found are good for this (either designed to teach, or as a side effect).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These kids are generally at the stage of learning adding, subtraction, multiplication and division. The school is (for want of a better word) deprived, so something that requires computer access is not appropriate. Board games would be fine, because I can bring them in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-06-24T11:58:55.067" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T19:03:53.253" Title="What games are good for teaching math?" Tags="|teaching|games|math|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-17T16:21:59.537" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm teaching my 8 y/o son to ride a bike. The most challenging thing is not the actual mechanics of riding a bike. It's the &quot;belief in the force&quot;, that &quot;force&quot; that allows you to stay stable when you have speed. It seems like a weird concept for them as they think &quot;speed&quot; is what will make them fall and so they fear it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I simply go with him to a parking lot on weekends, and &quot;run&quot; after him, holding the back of his bike letting him peddle and try to make him see speed is his friend. speed gives him stability. I'll do that until he &quot;feels the force&quot; and then we'll start on gradients.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-06-17T16:21:59.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1978" CreationDate="2011-06-17T17:41:36.367" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is religious. I am atheist. Our kids seem fine. They go to church with her and learn bible stories. If they ask me questions, I answer honestly. Usually &quot;well, some people think that, some people don't&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say there is little to worry about psychologically. Having MORE religious point of views in a household seems less harmful than only one domineering one. If anything, it'll get them thinking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-06-17T17:41:36.367" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-17T18:01:59.597" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;This is probably obvious, but nobody has mentioned it yet:&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You need to &lt;strong&gt;steer in the direction you're falling&lt;/strong&gt; because that will keep the bike underneath your center of gravity, thereby maintaining balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contrary to the comments, I don't believe that the gyroscopic effect of the wheels provide any useful degree of stability because their mass is too small compared to the rest of the vehicle+rider and their rotation is much too slow. A gyro is only helpful if it has significant mass and rotates at high speeds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually the frame's geometry will also provide some additional stability because the sense that the front fork is angled back slightly and the wheel axle is in front of that angle. This makes the wheel &quot;want&quot; to point straight ahead rather than turn by itself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-21T10:59:24.257" LastActivityDate="2012-08-21T10:59:24.257" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2011-06-17T20:42:12.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.khanacademy.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Khan Academy&lt;/a&gt; is an excellent resource for learning and teaching math. There are two parts to KA. Excellent instructional videos and an interactive practice problems. If you sign up for an account you can track your learning progress on the dashboard which has many game features. You can earn badges, earn energy [progress] points, check leader-boards, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To learn more about Khan Academy you can watch these videos:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM95HHI4gLk&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Salman Khan talk at TED 2011&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTXKCzrFh3c&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sal Khan talk at GEL 2010&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;and an example video lesson,&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://youtu.be/-h3Oqhl8fPg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Multiplication 6: Multiple Digit Numbers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-06-17T20:42:12.820" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2011-06-17T20:55:06.880" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember in elementary school (somewhere between grade 1-5, probably 3 for this example) we had some person from some company (or maybe government) come in and teach us division. It was very cool how she did it (well, at the time I thought so anyway).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were in a big hall. There was some 28-30 (assume 30 for this example) of us. We were asked to divide 30 by 4. So she asked us to stand in a row with 4 people per line. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She showed us how the answer to division is 30/4 = 7 rows of people, with a remainder of 2 (since 2 people were all by themselves at the end). She tried that with different numbers (i.e. 15/8 etc.) - teaching us what a quotient and divisor is. (She'd say so &quot;you x people are the remainder&quot;, or ask &quot;what is the divisor?&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't so much about teaching us how to divide, but what it means when we're dividing. Visualizing it kind of made it easier (for me, anyway). I reckon that you could do similar things to teach them concepts of multiplication as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-06-17T20:55:06.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="580" CreationDate="2011-06-17T21:18:44.817" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is evidence that video programs and television shows designed to teach children words actually reduce the vocabulary size of children who watch them. While often much loved by parents and seemingly by children as well, they are not more successful in teaching words than any video and they under-perform talking to, talking around, and reading with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I understand the brain and childhood development science, these types of videos should be thought of as entertainment not learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please follow up on my answer with the following sources that helped form my opinion:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;CBC radio program Ideas: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/episodes/features/2009/12/04/the-hurried-infant-part-12-cd/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Hurried Infant&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ase.tufts.edu/crlr/styled-7/styled-9/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dr. Maryanne Wolfe&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her book, &lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/Jy7TL&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Proust and the Squid&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://astro.temple.edu/~khirshpa&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dr. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her book, &lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/N5S6k&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Einstein Never Used Flash Cards&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="807" LastEditDate="2011-06-17T21:26:08.180" LastActivityDate="2011-06-17T21:26:08.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1830" CreationDate="2011-06-18T00:14:50.090" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We purchased a small &quot;urban&quot; crib to use bedside, based on all the dire warnings from the parenting classes we took about SIDS and such. In practice, it has been used no more than a dozen times or so for actual sleeping, other than a short period of time just after birth when our son needed light therapy for bilirubin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several reasons for this. Our son rarely found swaddling sufficient comfort, and he would complain if mom was more than a few inches away after apparently sleeping for a few minutes. My wife found that she was more exhausted when she needed to get up out of the bed to pick up our son to breastfeed, and so she was more comfortable rolling over and nursing prone than having to make the more disruptive movements required to extract him. And really, we've just never had much luck in getting our son to sleep for more than a very short time in the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife found in the mothers' groups that she attends, including Japanese and non-Japanese mothers, it was actually pretty rare for most first-time mothers to get much use out of the crib. Cosleepers were the closest thing to successful with mothers who had the foresight to buy them; our son sleeps in our bed most of the time, with the crib placed bedside cushioned by pillows. It serves as a barrier rather than as a crib. Our son is now 9 months old. The crib is now full of various towels and toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we were in Japan, we'd almost certainly never have purchased a crib; most parents sleep with the baby just next to them on the floor on another futon. Even families that have Western bedding in Japan often abandon it in favor of the futon when they have children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say that crib use is far from universal around the world, since people sleep on the floor in many countries. Your mileage may vary. Granted, we never had much success with the bassinet either, so if that works for you, chances are the crib will be just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, there are a few safety downsides to the crib, mostly involving falls, both inside the crib (not so serious), and falling out the crib (which is more likely when the child gets bigger), or sometimes from climbing up the sides from outside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1105" LastEditorUserId="1105" LastEditDate="2011-06-18T01:28:50.003" LastActivityDate="2011-06-18T01:28:50.003" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2012" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2017" CreationDate="2011-06-18T02:40:42.390" Score="5" ViewCount="3420" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a part-time nanny 3 days a week and we generally pay her cash for those 12 days a month. Our family is going on vacation for 2 weeks where her services won't be necessary and we're wondering if we're still expected to pay her for those 2 weeks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1097" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-03T12:40:56.960" LastActivityDate="2019-12-05T00:41:27.417" Title="Do you pay a part time nanny for vacation?" Tags="|money|babysitting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1953" CreationDate="2011-06-18T03:23:00.390" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We moved from breast milk to oatmeal and small bits of food fairly early - we were advised against blended or bottled baby food as it would actually take longer for the child to learn to chew and swallow properly without choking. The advice we were given was to include as much texture as possible so we went straight from breast milk to breastmilk supplimented with everything from bits of avocado to blueberries, steamed asparagus, chicken etc. Our daughter loved experiencing new tastes and textures and as a result she's become a willing and cooperative eater. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything we fed her after about 4-5 months, as a rule, was cut into bits which could not block her even if she did forget to chew - about the size of 1/4 of a seedless grape (another one she was fond of). We did this until she was over 12 months and gradually increased the bite size but we still don't get any bigger than we think she can handle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were also told that the choke reaction was perfectly natural and very important for a baby to learn for their own safety. So don't be alarmed if they gag or cough a few times along the way. It's part of learning how to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1097" LastActivityDate="2011-06-18T03:23:00.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2012" CreationDate="2011-06-18T05:15:01.950" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since the question mentions paying cash, to me it sounds like under the table work (i.e. not paying taxes, and disregarding other rules). If that is the case then I would say that you make your own rules. Did your original agreement say anything about vacation pay? If not, then none is included. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I  don't see why you should pay for services that are not performed, unless it's purely to keep good relations with the nanny, or because there is a legal work agreement that demands it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-06-20T00:13:29.983" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T00:13:29.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2012" CreationDate="2011-06-18T07:09:05.863" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would have thought that it would be a very good thing to continue paying, as in managing your relationship with her.  Personally, if she were a very good nanny, I would pay for the time, and let her know you are doing it for her good services.  In the end, it will not amount to a great deal of money and I am sure the benefits in your relationship would be worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's black and white as this person is responsible for looking after your loved ones and that relationship has to be a good one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in the strict defintion of part time laws in this country, if you do nto have a contract of employment with thsi person, you have no obligations to pay her.  However, as I said, just remember what she's employed to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-06-18T07:09:05.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2012" CreationDate="2011-06-18T16:24:11.983" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most important, what did you agree to?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there an expectation of vacation pay? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are your neighbours/friends doing? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are your country's laws? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much do you like your nanny?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there a reason why you might want&#xA;to continue paying during a vacation&#xA;so that they won't look for another&#xA;employer?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know of some people who pay their nannies 1/2 wage during vacations and others who bring their nannies with them on vacations. I also know of people getting full pay during vacations but this is usually for full-time work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, you have to go with what you feel is right. You need to depend on your nanny and maintain a good relationship. Chances are that they are worth every penny and more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend scrimping somewhere else and talking it over with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-06-18T16:24:11.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2012" CreationDate="2011-06-18T18:58:27.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are away quite a lot, but pay our nanny when we are away anyhow. She is dependent on this income and doing otherwise would feel weird. Since we are away way more that the 4 weeks of vacation there are per year here, we sometimes make deals with her to stay an hour longer the week after and things like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-06-18T18:58:27.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-18T19:07:50.850" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Training wheels are a hindrance for learning how to ride. Get rid of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me and my stepfather taught my brother to ride a bike by running after the bike holding it upright. It's good exercise. :-) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a lot of running the balance is starting to get better and you can start letting go short moments, and grabbing hold quickly again. Just let go for longer and longer times. Try to let go without the kid seeing that you let go as he/she will invariable fall over immediately if he knows you aren't holding him upright.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he/she can bike with you running after for say 15-30 seconds or so, you can let them see that you aren't holding on, and tell them that they can do it by themselves now. You'll still have to help them start, and run after them a lot, but it'll get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This process took a couple of days in the backyard if I remember correctly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2012-04-19T11:17:45.043" LastActivityDate="2012-04-19T11:17:45.043" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2011-06-18T19:38:54.243" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My favourite math games use cards: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cribbagecorner.com/cribbage-rules&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;cribbage&lt;/a&gt; (adding to 15, counting to 31, matching)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dltk-kids.com/games/snap.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;snap&lt;/a&gt; (matching)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pagat.com/war/war.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;war&lt;/a&gt; (more than, less than)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;beat the calculator (one person has a calculator, the other doesn't, 2 cards are turned up; first person with the answer wins, calculator alternates between people)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also use dice. Playing &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.yahtzee.org.uk/rules.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Yahtzee&lt;/a&gt; requires counting and addition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorry!_%28game%29&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sorry&lt;/a&gt; is a good game. For younger ones, making the association between one count and moving one square and not skipping any is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/1410/trouble&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pop-o-matic Trouble&lt;/a&gt; is another good counting game like Sorry. Kids like rolling (popping) the dice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are endless variations on Bingo, right from number recognition to math facts and reading number words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also enjoy &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mancala&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mancala&lt;/a&gt;, one of the oldest games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-06-22T03:45:08.277" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T03:45:08.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2011-06-19T05:18:38.007" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Easier Sudoku puzzles might work, there are many generators around.  Sudoku Kingdom &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sudokukingdom.com/very-easy-sudoku.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.sudokukingdom.com/very-easy-sudoku.php&lt;/a&gt; is one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then there's Colorku &lt;a href=&quot;http://colorku.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://colorku.com/&lt;/a&gt; but you probably can make your own version with a laminated piece of paper and some colored tokens or construction paper dots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-19T05:18:38.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1400" CreationDate="2011-06-19T05:39:01.233" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm asthmatic and started when I was a toddler, but I learned early on that panicking only made things worse.  I would disagree with those who say a 5-year-old is too young to learn to suppress the urge to panic, because I found I was able to starting around the time I was 4-5 years old.  It takes education, practice, and most of all a calm parent who is willing to put a lot of time and effort into it, but it sounds like you are willing and able so I think you can do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A &quot;panic button&quot; is a great idea, as is being calm and having a ritual.  You do your child no favors when you panic, as you probably well know.  My mom did visualization exercises with me when I was calm and not having a hard time breathing--all of these exercises involved floating, being weightless, having no weight, tightness, or restriction on my chest, and having the air flow in and out (the &quot;and out&quot; part is absolutely crucial!!) of me very easily.  Usually I'd be floating in the sky, or on a cloud, or on the wing of an airplane, but never under water.  Then, when I was starting with an attack, she'd walk me through these visualization exercises, which helped enormously.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sharecare.com/question/what-does-asthma-feel-like&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dr. Mehmet Oz describes what an asthma attack/episode feels like here.&lt;/a&gt;  He correctly states that &quot;In patients with asthma, the trouble isn't with getting air into the lungs; it's with getting air out, and it feels like a vice is squeezing the bronchus.&quot;  One of the best things that my mom did when helping me with my asthma attacks was to focus on my getting air out of my lungs.  Part of your son's problem may not just be in the spasms, it may be that he is constantly sucking in air but can't blow it out and doesn't realize he needs to.  Believe it or not, it's a hard thing to realize, and it's worse when you're a kid.  When you feel like you're drowning, your first instinct is to try to get in more air--it takes training to learn to do the opposite of your instinct and breathe OUT.  So at times when your son is not having an attack, you could try explaining this to him and helping him practice breathing out, not just in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-19T05:39:01.233" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1387" CreationDate="2011-06-19T05:43:50.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The Met Opera has showings of operas in local movie theaters.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.metoperafamily.org/metopera/broadcast/hd_events_template.aspx?id=11964&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;You can get more information at the Met Opera website.&lt;/a&gt;  It's probably easier (and cheaper) to remove a squirming kid from a movie theater than a theater.  If nothing else, it could be an inexpensive way to see if your child is old enough to grasp some of the story, even if it's by the acting alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-19T05:43:50.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2011-06-19T06:00:40.100" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the mother of a 14-month-old girl.  My policies with regard to doctor calls/visits are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I'm asking on the Internet, I should be asking the doctor or nurse.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I wonder if I should bring my baby in for a visit, then I should.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I have 1 question, I at least call the doctor's office.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I have more than 2 questions, I set up a consultation so I'm not bombarding the doctor over the phone and have more time for follow-ups and note-taking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I have any questions (which is always have), I bring a notepad with questions written down in advance and write the answers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the doctor doesn't take me and my questions seriously, then it's time to find a new practice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People can give you general advice, but none of us have access to your baby's medical chart, and general advice may not work for some children for subtle reasons.  For example: my baby had severe diaper rash.  Ordinarily diaper rash isn't too much to worry about, and if I'd asked about it online, I think I would have gotten a lot of answers that consider it part of being a baby.  But I have a strong family history of allergies, and my baby's diaper rash turned out to be the result of a milk allergy.  We figured it out between my husband's and my observations, my parents supplying info about my medical history, and the doctor's expertise.  No one on the internet would have been able to confirm it, even if they might have raised the red flag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue may be nothing more than a virus, but a doctor may be able to give you advice for treating symptoms.  Given that this is flagged with &quot;infant&quot; and &quot;toddler&quot; I'm assuming your children are quite young; you NEVER want to mess around with diarrhea and fever in very small children.  As a parent, it's your prerogative to be a bit of a hypochondriac, so if I were you, I'd at least call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-19T09:00:16.227" LastActivityDate="2011-06-19T09:00:16.227" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1596" CreationDate="2011-06-19T06:08:03.077" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mine does this too.  I hate to be the harbinger of bad news, but it only gets worse.  Your baby is only going to get more mobile, more energetic, smarter, able to see and process more, and therefore more interested in the world.  By the time my baby was 10 months old, she would take a few sips from her bottle, sit up, look around, lay down and take a few more sips, and lather, rinse, repeat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped was giving my baby her lovie or another piece of cloth, blanket, or toy with interesting textures to hold while eating.  It doesn't work all the time, and it has worked less and less as she's gotten older, but at 6 months it helped a lot.  You'll have to determine if your baby prefers consistency or is better when looking at/touching a different toy/texture each feed.  It ran in stages for my baby.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-19T06:08:03.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1201" CreationDate="2011-06-19T06:17:54.207" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;3 months is on the early side but not too early.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/teething-directory&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WebMD has a good description of teething here.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My baby will be very fussy, refuse food, prefer her bottle/sippie over solids, not sleep well, will randomly have sudden bursts of severe crying out of nowhere, make weird faces and work her jaw a bit from time to time, drool a lot and chew on things pretty strongly.  However, she will not let us stick our fingers in her mouth for anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I should caution you that some of these signs of teething are also signs of an impending developmental milestones.  We've had several false alarms where we thought a tooth was incoming but as it turned out, our baby started sitting, crawling, or trying to walk or talk.  At 3 months, your baby may be trying to roll over, starting to prefer certain people, developing her ability to grab things, and is understanding language more and more.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-3-month-olds-development-week-1_1477203.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Babycenter&lt;/a&gt; has some great descriptions of everything your baby may be starting to do.  Even one of those things is a LOT and can cause the baby to be completely thrown off, scared, fussy, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-19T06:17:54.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2026" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2033" CreationDate="2011-06-19T21:44:57.133" Score="12" ViewCount="23128" Body="&lt;p&gt;I often loose patience and am anxious about accidentally cutting skin when I try to cut my 18 month old's hair. Please suggest approaches that you've used that work to get the hair cut safely with the least frustration for parent or child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we have tried: using comb and scissors in the high chair (little success) and in the shower (some success). Thanks for your time and consideration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-06-19T22:49:54.497" LastActivityDate="2019-02-25T11:18:57.000" Title="What is the best approach to cut the hair of an infant/toddler?" Tags="|toddler|infant|hair|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2011-06-19T22:48:43.357" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think our best improvement in the process is to have both parents involved. Our son usually sits on mom's lap while I do the cutting. This keeps him engaging with mom and he hardly notices the scissors. This doesn't always work, in fact sometimes it's a total bust... thankfully unless you're totally changing the hair style, most folks don't really notice that a kids hair is lopsided... so you can stop when they're not into it and come back at it tomorrow. We've had to do that a few times; I'll get one side done but not the back or the other side then he has had enough and we call it quits. The next day I'll get the other side and the back. So for a day his hair looks a little &quot;off&quot;... oh well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll also admit that it's FAR simpler, and gets a MUCH better result to occasionally just pay the money to let an expert do it... we have a place in town that specializes in little kids hair cuts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-06-19T22:48:43.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2011-06-20T00:27:23.673" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thank goodness it grows or my kids would be living a life of embarrassment. Here's what we tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Two people work better than one, even at a salon.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have the child close their eyes. This way they aren't getting distracted. Have them count to 10 out loud, or sing the alphabet or another song, then open their eyes. This will let you know how much time you have. Also, you can play a game with this. There can be a different object for them to see when they finish counting. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have them look at a fixed point on a wall. This will help their head from &quot;drifting&quot; down or towards the scissors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play the freeze game or have a staring contest to keep them occupied but still (very good when you have an accomplice).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't cut it. Use elastics or clips to keep the hair out of their face. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use clippers. They are faster than scissors and feel nice. It can take a bit to get used to the noise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my son's has hair that prefers to be in tangles. He likes it long but refuses to take care of it. So, now that they are older, I give them (slightly less than) the money that would have been paid to have their hair cut when they let me cut it at home. This has ended the fighting about whether or not the hair gets cut: win win!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-06-20T10:07:23.733" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T10:07:23.733" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2011-06-20T00:36:59.830" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask your doctor when they think you should call them. They will give you the parameters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't have paediatricians available or on call unless it's through the emergency department. We do have access to &quot;Telehealth&quot; so we can personally speak to a Registered Nurse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/pediatrics101/a/when_call_pedi.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; has some guidelines that sounded similar to what my doctor told us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T00:36:59.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2011-06-20T05:52:20.383" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is one area where I call in a professional.  Because they work with shears all day and are used to making quick, sure cuts without stabbing anyone, they're going to be better at it than I am.  For my toddler, it's a 3-person process: hairdresser, my mom, and me.  The latter two hold/distract her.  She still screams like a banshee, but it's enough where my lightning-fast hairdresser can just get in there, snip snip, and it's done.  It's a lot less drawn-out and drama-ridden when the process takes only 5 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T05:52:20.383" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1630" CreationDate="2011-06-20T06:15:48.133" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't book someplace that was THAT child-unfriendly if at all possible.  If it's not possible, I'd call the hotel and ask what is justified by the charge, and make the determination from there.  I don't think you need to smuggle the baby in like contraband if you don't declare him/her, and if asked I'd just say you didn't think the issue was worth mentioning since you're bringing your own stuff for the baby.  I've found that most low-level hotel desk clerks are very amenable once you're there, even if they might be pickier about the rules when you call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T06:15:48.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="839" CreationDate="2011-06-20T06:40:53.837" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, there's diaper rash, and then there's allergic rash.  My baby's diaper rash (even when it's caused by teething) goes away in 1-2 changes as long as we put cream on it, like Desitin. The severity you describe makes me concerned that the diaper rash you're describing is not actual diaper rash, but is allergic rash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allergic rash seemed very different from regular diaper rash, but all we realized at the time was that it was a weird-looking rash.  A typical diaper rash for my baby is all over her bottom.  The allergic rash was a very tightly-concentrated rash close to the anus.  It did not go away easily or quickly, and before we realized it was due to an allergic reaction to dairy, it got to the point where the skin was raw and would bleed a bit when we cleaned her bottom.  The rash did not clear up until after we wised up after a few days and eliminated all dairy from her diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One note is that many creams and ointments contain lanolin.  This is basically derived from sheep.  Plenty of people are allergic to wool and may react to lanolin.  (I'm allergic to wool and finding a cream for breastfeeding that had no lanolin yet was safe for the baby was a job and a half; I used Nuk.)  Aquaphor is commonly recommended for many baby rashes--including severe diaper rash--but contains lanolin.  So if you are using a lanolin-based cream you may want to switch to something else to eliminate the possibility of the cream causing a reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby is breastfed and the rash is persisting, you may want to first eliminate lanolin, and then after that try an elimination diet for his mom.  I'd recommend allergy testing but unfortunately, I know from personal experience that it is faulty.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the baby is formula-fed, you may want to talk to the pediatrician about switching formula brands or even a hypo-allergenic formula if the rash continues and you and the doctors feel allergies are to blame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically, babies at 3 months aren't given solids but if you are giving solids, you'll want to talk to your doctor about allergy concerns there, as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2018-04-07T15:48:43.513" LastActivityDate="2018-04-07T15:48:43.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2011-06-20T06:56:10.847" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You didn't specifically say you want to do it yourself, so:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously &lt;strong&gt;a professional hairdresser does a great job&lt;/strong&gt; with much less risk of injuries, and much quicker. &lt;em&gt;And&lt;/em&gt; you don't have to clean up afterward! :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our local hairdresser (part of a nationwide drugstore chain) does toddler haircuts for free. The whole operation from entering the store until leaving takes less than 15 minutes and goes very smoothly. &lt;strong&gt;Ask your local shop&lt;/strong&gt; what their rates are for a toddler, you might be pleasantly surprised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T20:24:08.983" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T20:24:08.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="58" CreationDate="2011-06-20T07:11:13.140" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found that the WHO's recommendations seem geared toward developing countries with poor sanitation, nutrition, and education.  If that doesn't apply to you, they can be rather draconian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time I hear some recommendation about solids, I hear about another new study that debunks the old one.  Exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months used to be the recommendation, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bmj.com/content/342/bmj.c5955.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;a recent study from the British Medical Journal&lt;/a&gt; called that into question.  I deeply question whether an infant needs only breastmilk for a year; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/mar/29/vegans-trial-death-baby-breast-milk&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;a baby died recently in France&lt;/a&gt; because she was exclusively breastfed for 11 months and the mother had vitamin deficiencies possibly due to veganism.  While it's true this could be an outlier case, even mothers who follow non-vegan diets are often encouraged to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/news/20030408/babies-need-vitamin-d-supplements&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;supplement their breastfed babies with Vitamin D&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, while a baby may not strictly need solids at any given point (4 months, 6 months, etc.) at some point, I believe from my own experience that it is helpful to introduce a baby to many different things to stimulate the senses.  We expose babies to color and motion early, to many kinds of sounds, music and voices, many people, many textures, and I don't think taste and smell should be considered any differently.  When exactly to do this depends on the child, but as an example, my baby was introduced to green beans at approx. 7 months and now screams like a banshee if she doesn't get them for lunch.  I'm happy to have helped her develop a positive taste for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that blanket policies about infant feeding can cause poor outcomes because there is such variation between infants and families that it seems useless to give anything other than general guidelines and then refer parents to their physician and their instincts for the rest.  For example, policies like &quot;breast is best&quot; completely ignore all the times in which breast is NOT best--premature infants unable to breastfeed, infants with lots of food allergies making an elimination diet nutritionally unsound for the mother, mothers with &lt;a href=&quot;http://noteveryonecanbreastfeed.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;insufficient glandular tissue&lt;/a&gt;, mothers with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mobimotherhood.org/mm/article-pcos.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;PCOS&lt;/a&gt; in which their bodies don't make enough milk, mothers with auto-immune disease requiring &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;more energy than they actually have to breastfeed&lt;/a&gt;, mothers who have had breast surgery for cancer/reduction/reconstruction/etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blanket policies don't take into account your baby and your situation, and taken to the wrong level promote lazy health care.  A doctor who is pressed for time may just regurgitate the &quot;recommendations&quot; about solid foods without really taking the time to ask you about a family history of food allergies.  In my case, my baby's pediatrician did a very good job addressing all my concerns about my and my husband's strong family histories of allergies, and we came up with some timetables for certain foods that differ from any of the recommendations I've read elsewhere.  She was also very responsive when my baby showed signs of dairy allergy at 1 yr and was able to give us advice on whole milk alternatives--we didn't have to waste time going through the family histories then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if there were official guidelines, I'd be very careful to take them as mere guidelines, not the hard and fast rule that &quot;breast is best&quot; has become despite ample evidence that one-size-fits-all medicine doesn't actually work for all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T07:11:13.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1893" CreationDate="2011-06-20T07:34:47.503" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love &lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wholesomebabyfood.com&lt;/a&gt; and have used a lot of their recommendations for solids for my baby.  There are two articles there that are very interesting about spices and baby food: &lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/tipspices.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Spice Up Your Baby's World - Learn about adding Spices and Herbs to Baby's Homemade Baby Foods&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/tipcurry.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bring on the Curry, the Chili and the Chipotle&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;However, blanket recommendations should be taken with all due consideration of your baby's medical history and your family medical history.&lt;/strong&gt; My baby has generally eaten &quot;bland&quot; because there is such a strong history of food allergies, we have to use the 4-day wait rule for every. single. thing. she eats. This includes spices. It is entirely possible to be allergic to cinnamon or mustard, for example.  My baby eats very &quot;pure&quot; in the sense that her foods are typically 3 ingredients or less, and as she's dairy-allergic, it precludes her from eating just about everything we do.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/allergy.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wholesomebabyfood.com's food allergy page&lt;/a&gt; has some great information, although it's not exclusively about spices and the allergy table is for a typical North American diet (your mileage may vary).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be perfectly all right to introduce whatever spices you use in your regular cooking, but if you suspect there is the potential for allergies, you'll probably want to consult a doctor about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T07:34:47.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="775" CreationDate="2011-06-20T07:49:06.587" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is dairy-allergic, so we give her coconut milk that is certified dairy-free.  I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention the brand, but you can google it and it's pretty easy to find the brand; it comes in shelf-stable boxes as well as refrigerated cartons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are significant benefits to coconut milk because the fats are medium-chain fats (as opposed to long-chain fats) and contain fats that are present in human breastmilk. &lt;a href=&quot;http://medind.nic.in/jac/t06/i1/jact06i1p16.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; (PDF) details some of the health benefits and how the blanket recommendations to avoid coconut milk because it was dangerous for the heart were unfounded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The silver lining to my daughter's dairy allergy is that we discovered something far healthier for her than whole milk that we never would have even thought of otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T07:49:06.587" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1774" CreationDate="2011-06-20T07:56:20.447" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby suffered constipation early on, and our pediatrician suggested giving her a little prune juice. Alternatively, you can either make or buy pureed prune baby food (barring any allergies and of course, talk to your ped). I used formula in my baby's oatmeal and thinned applesauce/oatmeal mixes with formula as well. We also used a probiotic, which seemed to help with gas and uneven stools (too runny one time, too solid the next).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T07:56:20.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2011-06-20T08:08:33.450" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any dog can be dangerous if the training isn't good. Whether a dog is bred to be aggressive or not is of secondary relevance to me than whether the dog has had proper discipline that establishes you and your family members as alpha over the dog. If you're going to get a big, powerful breed without recognizing the potential for aggression, and therefore don't exercise the dog and give it firm discipline, then of course that inbred aggression will show. But if you get a teacup poodle and treat it like a princess and let it get its way all the time, of course it's going to become territorial and bite other people, even children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been attacked by a very poorly-trained Mastiff, and have seen a friendly but overly eager German Shepherd bowl over an 80-pound child in her excitement to get out the door. That said, someone in my family received the nastiest dog bite she'd ever had thanks to a 3-pound Chihuahua. My cousins own a small poodle mix who will sooner bite your head off than look at you simply because they let the dog be alpha over them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T08:08:33.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2011-06-20T09:33:55.153" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I'm thinking of trying is a stripped down variant on Dungeons and Dragons. Lots of simple, repetitive addition and substraction, and multiplication and division when it comes to &quot;how many turns will it take to get there, beat them, escape from that&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T09:33:55.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2011-06-20T11:50:58.153" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since we use clippers for both my husband and my son's hair I find it's helpful to have Matthias help with cutting his father's hair first, and then vice versa.  He sees how it's done and can see that it doesn't hurt Dad (even if it is a bit loud), so he doesn't freak out (much) when it's his turn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a side note: Be sure he hasn't changed the settings on the clippers before letting him go gung-ho on your hair.  My husband looked ready for enlistment the last time we cut his hair!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T11:50:58.153" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2041" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2043" CreationDate="2011-06-20T15:39:26.500" Score="9" ViewCount="12913" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old son and has lately been having problems sleeping. I've heard kids his age are supposed to sleep around 10-12 hours a day, although I'm no sure. He used to sleep in the afternoons but now he refuses to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He only sleeps at night. We put him to bed around 9 PM but he always tries to slip from his room. After a couple of times of returning him to bed he finally falls asleep around 10, 10:30, sometimes even 11 PM but he usually wakes up several times at night. At 7 AM he is already up and playing with his toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to think it was just he growing up but we have noticed that he gets cranky and sometimes a little violent (he gave another child quite a bite the other day) and we think it might be related to his sleeping disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1181" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-29T13:51:10.497" LastActivityDate="2019-01-15T05:03:43.127" Title="Why is my toddler having trouble sleeping?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2041" CreationDate="2011-06-20T16:20:02.443" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried to start minimizing and removing stimulus as bedtime approaches? Get the lights turned down, get out from in front of any screens (tv, computer, games). Try a bath an hour or so before hand. Eliminate any &quot;stimulating&quot; food that has sugars are any kind of caffeine in it (chocolate). My youngest was like this also and it ended up just being a phase but the things I listed above definitely helped the situation. Get the lights turned down and seriously reduce stimuli and nature kind of does it thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1015" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T16:20:02.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2041" CreationDate="2011-06-20T17:34:38.660" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old still has this habit, though we tried to minimize this by removing any extra stimuli, my wife and I check on him and make sure that the covers are not thrown off during the night.  Usually when one or the other of us is woken by one of the kids, both boys have a habit of kicking off their covers and then they get cold and wake up.  Our oldest does wake up a bit more than the younger, mostly I think due to the amount of co-sleeping he had when he was younger, though he doesn't admit to needing it and can sleep through the night in his own bed if tired enough, we think he wakes up and then needs that extra comfort during the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things I have done to eliminate this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Add a heater to the room if the temperature gets cold, keeps them warm and they don't wake up as frequently during the night.  Some heaters also function as noise generators, so they eliminate loud noises for their constant drone, that was a plus for us.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get the mood as calm as possible during the nighttime ritual, this eliminates stress during sleep and keeps bad dreams to a minimum&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring him back to his own bed, and get him back to sleep in his own bed, that way there is no possibility of getting used to the parent's bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try and earlier start time, if it takes that long to get your kid to sleep, and ours was the same, start the bed routine earlier to trick him into falling asleep earlier.  It's tough, since it cuts into other time, but I figure its better I lose out on Me Time if it helps my kids&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check for Childhood Sleep Apnea, this may be one of the reasons your child is waking up, ask your doctor about this&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T17:34:38.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2044" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2381" CreationDate="2011-06-20T18:34:24.313" Score="17" ViewCount="50748" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5 year old has recently developed what can be best described as a stutter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It only seems to occur with us, and mostly when asking a question (&quot;Wh, wh, wh, wh, what's that Daddy?). It's especially pronounced if he is tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't concern us greatly yet, he's happy and sociable. In fact it doesn't tend to occur around strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;: He's started to garble whole sentences recently, again mostly when he's tired, but he's also started getting noticeably frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His vocabulary is very wide and still growing quickly - if anything, it feels like his mouth can't keep up with this brain!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this similar to others experiences - how did you approach it? Should we ignore it (for now) and make no special effort, or would simple speech therapies help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update - 2.5 years later&lt;/strong&gt;: It was just a phase, passed in a few months. He's near top of his class for reading, writing and spelling (phonetically or not).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As suggested in the great answers (and common with so many aspects of kids growing up), keep an eye on it to make sure it's not an early warning - but don't panic :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="43" LastEditorUserId="43" LastEditDate="2014-03-06T10:05:52.337" LastActivityDate="2019-01-09T08:47:47.340" Title="How should we address stuttering in a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|speech|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2011-06-20T18:41:12.563" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has done it while our youngest is asleep, she can get the sides easily enough using a comb and scissors and just does the back really quickly while he is awake and distracted.  We tried clippers but he didn't like the sound of the clippers near his head.  Sometimes while in the bath it works, since the baby is sitting in the tub and very distracted, just need to make sure you use blunt scissors to avoid accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-20T18:41:12.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-06-21T00:32:09.433" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was at the University of Alberta while they were doing a 2-week clinic for people (adults) who stutter. The participants that I spoke to said they had made huge progress in that short time. While we were talking, there was very little evidence of a stutter. Some had come to the clinic virtually unable to talk. So, if your child is developing a stutter, take heart; it is treatable. They have some great &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.istar.ualberta.ca/html/s6_1.html&quot;&gt;resources&lt;/a&gt;. Early intervention is best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stutteringhelp.org/Default.aspx?tabid=17&quot;&gt;website&lt;/a&gt; that talks about the causes and some solutions. I was surprised to read that some causes are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;genetics (approximately 60% of those who stutter have a family member who does also); &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;child development (children with other speech and language problems or developmental delays are more likely to stutter); &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;neurophysiology (recent neurological research has shown that people who stutter process speech and language slightly differently than those who do not stutter); and &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;family dynamics (high expectations and fast-paced lifestyles can contribute to stuttering)&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and it can be a combination of factors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a section for kids with a video for kids by kids! One child describes stuttering exactly the way you do: his brain talks faster than his mouth can go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For parents, they suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talking slowly with frequent pauses&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Reduce the number of questions you ask your child. Children speak more freely if they are expressing their own ideas rather than answering an adult's questions. Instead of asking questions, simply comment on what your child has said, thereby letting him know you heard him.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;show you are listening by with your body and facial expressions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;giving your child undivided attention for a few minutes each day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach ach family member to take turns speaking and not interrupt&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;look at how you interact with your child and try to convey that they have plenty of time to talk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;show that you accept who your child is, whether they stutter or not&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also share some famous people who stuttered. Another &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stutter.ca/whats-new/103-colin-firth-is-now-a-person-who-stutters&quot;&gt;site&lt;/a&gt; mentions that Colin Firth now has trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T11:21:01.120" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T11:21:01.120" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2047" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2048" CreationDate="2011-06-21T16:08:23.713" Score="18" ViewCount="5758" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the recommended thing to do when my kids are misbehaving in public? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, I have had situations where they are yelling and throwing stuff in a restaurant, or the other day they one was pulling the other one's hair and hitting him on a store. I've usually taken them to the car and put them on their seat while I myself sit on the front, but I'm not sure this is working as well as time-outs at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there some special techniques for time-outs in public places? Or should I be doing something completely different?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1181" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:14:48.150" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T00:55:33.437" Title="How do I put my child in time-out when we're in public?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2047" CreationDate="2011-06-21T16:35:42.210" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;If we're shopping or at a restaurant with our son and he starts acting up, he's taken immediately to the restroom and spoken to first, if he can't behave after that, we pay to have the food taken home with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we're shopping and he does it, one of us takes him directly outside and speaks to him while the other finishes up shopping and pays for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's learned that he's got one 'freebie' and after that, all the fun stops and we go home - and he gets ready for bed, regardless of what time it is (he doesn't GO to bed if it's early afternoon, but he knows that means no going outside to play, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today he acted up while in the dr's office.  I had him stand in the corner for 3 minutes while the doctor and I spoke about his possible ear infection (he doesn't have one).  Then I had no issues going out shopping with him or riding the bus back home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking I count to 3 and Matthias knows he needs to do whatever he's been asked to do - or if he doesn't understand what is wanted of him to ask what is wanted - or he must stand or sit in the 'naughty chair' which is positioned near the corner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be firm, be consistent and TELL them why they're being put in the car, corner, time out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I should also add that my son just turned 3 in May.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastEditorUserId="583" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T17:14:58.807" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T17:14:58.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2047" CreationDate="2011-06-21T16:39:48.160" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do the car thing as well, but if it keeps up in the car we just end up going home, nothing else and my son knows he'll be lacking a few things once we get back to the house.  I regularly take toys to a time out, or remove what few TV privileges there are if he misbehaves.  I like the car because it removes him from the public eye, where he sometimes wants to embarass us, or thinks he does.  I don't bother with freebies, while its nicer when they are younger once he reached age 4 I tell him he needs to act better, and should be a little more controlled.  If he is tired, or its been a long day I am more understanding, but if its out of nowhere then there are consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T16:39:48.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2011-06-21T18:27:31.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found 'Great Big Book of Children's Games' with a google book search and searched for 'math' within the book: &lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/e6f25&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;goo.gl/e6f25&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples of math related children's games: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassino_%28card_game%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Casino (card Game)&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=wTuZMWvmUisC&amp;amp;lpg=PA292&amp;amp;vq=math&amp;amp;dq=math%20%22children%27s%20games%22%20learning%20OR%20play%20OR%20fun%20OR%20board%20OR%20game%20OR%20toy%20OR%20group&amp;amp;pg=PA96#v=snippet&amp;amp;q=math&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Number Tic-Tac-Toe&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shut_the_Box&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Shut the Box&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lots-of-kids-games.com/brother-jonathan.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Brother Jonathan&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may be able to find a number of other games with similar searches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="807" LastEditDate="2011-06-21T21:10:00.400" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T21:10:00.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1496" CreationDate="2011-06-21T23:15:26.970" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old really enjoys vanilla yogurt and whole wheat O's&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1188" LastActivityDate="2011-06-21T23:15:26.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2052" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2083" CreationDate="2011-06-22T07:04:56.573" Score="6" ViewCount="613" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to potty train my 2-year-old, and I read about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.3daypottytraining.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The 3 Day Potty Training Method&lt;/a&gt; which claims is possible to do it in 3 days! Has anyone tried this method?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1194" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:13:38.960" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T17:28:16.950" Title="Is potty-training in 3 days possible?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1630" CreationDate="2011-06-22T08:08:02.050" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;When booking online, I indicate that I'll be bringing a child in the &lt;strong&gt;comments&lt;/strong&gt; field. Those will generally be ignored until I'm at the hotel and then they can't tell me I didn't warn them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're booking by phone, ask for the rate first, make your reservation and when done, inform them that you'll have a small child but don't require extra equipment. If they want you to shell an extra, just cancel the booking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never had any problem with this. Often, they're moving us to a larger room at no extra charge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1196" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T08:08:02.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2054" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-22T10:11:04.470" Score="8" ViewCount="774" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two children at primary school (5 and 7, primary school is from 4 to 11 in the UK) and there is a possibility of moving them both to a different school in the same area (we're not moving house). The eldest child is currently being assessed for autism, specifically Aspergers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the most important criteria we should evaluate when considering which school is best for the family? If we decide to change what steps should we consider to prepare? How can we best handle uncertainty and disagreement between parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anyone has any links to articles about Aspergers and changing schools that would be useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The full story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife thinks the new school will be better at helping with the Asperger's (although there's no evidence to support this and I think the current school will be just as good in this regard) and is smaller (one class per year). However, the current school is better academically (he's incredibly bright, especially at science and maths) and has better facilities, and he has several friends there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1197" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:13:24.517" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T20:29:09.817" Title="How do we determine what school is best when a child is high performing on the Autism Spectrum (Aspergers)?" Tags="|school|autism|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2054" CreationDate="2011-06-22T14:01:31.680" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect your 7 year old is extremely shy, very uncomfortable around new people, has difficulty adjusting to changing situations, does not pick up social cues that seem obvious to everyone else, and is not nearly as verbally expressive as other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the thing .. whether your child has enough symptoms or severe enough symptoms to formally be labelled &quot;Aspergers&quot; or &quot;autistic&quot; is not really relevant. Don't worry so much about a label as pay attention to your child's personality, strengths, weaknesses and traits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My thoughts:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I would explore in more depth with your wife &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; she thinks the new school will be better.  Don't discount her intuition or impressions, in fact they should be taken very seriously, but be clear about them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much difficulty do you think your child will have adjusting to a change? If the school is a bit more helpful in dealing with your child, but the change has a big negative impact, the overall result will not be what you are hoping for.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I would give more weight to the academic aspects of the two schools. I would also pay some attention (if possible) to the individual teachers at the schools. A bright child, particularly one with Asperger/Autism traits, will suffer immensely in a school that isn't challenging.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2011-06-22T20:08:43.867" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T20:08:43.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2052" CreationDate="2011-06-22T14:28:20.317" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't rush it, unnecessarily.  You can take it slow and let your child learn at their own pace. Putting a timeline to it only stresses you and them out needlessly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every kid is different. Be consistent with him/her. Be patient and loving with them and they will learn in 3 days or 3 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Our own kids were different -- Our oldest took 7 days. (He had just turned 3). Our youngest did it in 2 days (maybe one accident?) and he was 2 and 1/2 at the time. One boy in the neighborhood took 2 months. Bottom line, doesn't matter how long it takes. As all three of them are now toilet-masters :)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1202" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T14:28:20.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2052" CreationDate="2011-06-22T15:25:35.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on the physical and emotional development of the child it may be possible.  Keep in mind that some kids can't hold it while sleeping until they are much older regardless of their desire to do so.  That being said, when we pulled the trigger thats how long it took with one of my kids (if you don't count the very occasional accident for a time).  The other one took a little longer.  I think that you should consider carefully if they are ready and when you do pull the trigger, to not go half way.  You have to be committed to watch them like a hawk and help them succeed, prevent and deal with night-time accidents, etc.  An incremental approach is bound to bring conflict, foot dragging, and begging by both the parent and child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T15:25:35.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2047" CreationDate="2011-06-22T15:30:10.803" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its important to have a policy that you can enforce quickly and surely wherever you are.  Make it as much like home as possible, and to hell with the glares of other shoppers as you calmly leave the shopping cart behind and drag your child to the car for a time-out (for a small child throwing a tantrum), or whatever your policy is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure they lose something they want.  In my case if I had to leave a restaurant due to behavior they wouldn't get a bite of that food later.  Its a sacrifice for the family but worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be embarrassed as being embarrassed will give the child more power and control than the child is due.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T15:30:10.803" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1496" CreationDate="2011-06-22T15:46:42.617" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids should eat almost exactly what the adults do for any meal from a very young age, even if you don't eat at the same time.  If sugary cereal isn't good for you, it isn't good for them.  Parents lead by example and help children develop a broader palette.  The difference should be portion size and ratio of each food; A weight lifter dad needs a higher percentage of protein, and kids in general can use a bit more fat than adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oatmeal and yogurt are great because they can be tuned to each person's taste while having a common experience and can be a way to experiment with new flavors.  &quot;Today we are trying almonds.  Thats one of the flavors in honey nut cheerios.&quot;  &quot;I liked the crunch.  What did you think of it?&quot;  If they hesitate, let them help you make granola in the oven to see what goes into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't think a 5 year old can develop interest in adult flavors, I have new anecdotes handy practically any week:  last night my 5 year old said &quot;This tuna steak tastes like wood.&quot;  &quot;Do you like it?&quot; &quot;Yes. Why does it taste like wood?&quot;  &quot;It was grilled on a ceder plank.&quot; [smile]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T15:46:42.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-06-22T15:54:42.140" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends.  Certain things should be treated right away with therapy but stuttering of certain types, switching vowels or consonants, and many other &quot;issues&quot; may be completely normal speech progression, especially in a 2.5 year old.  We got my son's speech checked out for a similar reason and the professional determined that it was normal.  She turned out to be correct.  He progressed past it naturally.  Since it is causing concern you should certainly talk to a professional who will be able to tell the difference better than a forum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T15:54:42.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-06-22T17:46:20.093" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Niece had a similar problem around the same age and a speech therapist friend advised us that it is not unusual around that age. The best piece of advice she gave us was to avoid drawing attention to it. Don't interrupt your child and left them finish what they're saying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now a year on it is not noticeable at all. No more than I could be said to have a stutter when I'm tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said I would echo Peter's advice to consult a professional if it is still causing concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1204" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T17:46:20.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2054" CreationDate="2011-06-22T18:01:35.643" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Selecting schools without the issue of Autism can be difficult. With ASD or Asperger's you will need to consider the impact on your elder son and how that will impact the family. Another issue to consider is the impact on your younger son of making this decision based on your elder son's needs. Also, please reach out to local autism resources, public services, and your child's pediatrician as they will know the local issues best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some ideas to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the school performing well with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/index.html&quot;&gt;ASD&lt;/a&gt; students? What do parents say? children?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does the school provide feedback, planning, and adequate facilities?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Which teachers are your children likely to have? What do they know about Autism?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What resources are available at the schools? away from school?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The best school for one child may not be the best school for the other.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children with ASD will likely have increased difficult in changing a routine such as attending a particular school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=WFAeFjoKgb0C&amp;amp;dq=growing%20up%20with%20a%20sibling%20with%20autism&amp;amp;source=gbs_navlinks_s&quot;&gt;Non-ASD siblings&lt;/a&gt; often get less attention and influence in the family (and sometimes resent it, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theautismnews.com/2010/08/17/five-benefits-of-growing-up-with-an-autistic-sibling/&quot;&gt;not always&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The social awkwardness that characterizes ASD will likely become progressively more difficult for a child with ASD to manage as they go through school.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some resources (I have tried to focus on UK resources, but am not too familiar with them):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism.org.uk&quot;&gt;The National Autistic Society&lt;/a&gt; and their post on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/education/primary-and-secondary-school/choosing-school-in-england-wales.aspx&quot;&gt;choosing schools&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.amazon.com/dp/1843109344/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=breaktherules-20&amp;amp;camp=213381&amp;amp;creative=390973&amp;amp;linkCode=as4&amp;amp;creativeASIN=1843109344&amp;amp;adid=03B29C05C3VA2N9Z1GZQ&amp;amp;&quot;&gt;Making the Move&lt;/a&gt; by Haitham Al-Gani book about schools / students / ASD&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autismvictoria.org.au/services/school_years.php#choosing-type&quot;&gt;Choosing the type of school&lt;/a&gt; that will be best for your child via Autism Victoria (Australia/Victoria specific at top, general info as you scroll down)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://thinkingautismguide.blogspot.com/2010/07/choosing-school-for-children-on-autism.html&quot;&gt;Choosing a School for Children on the Autism Spectrum&lt;/a&gt; via Thinking Person's Guide to Autism blog&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childrensdisabilities.info/autism/groups-autism-asperger.html&quot;&gt;Parent Support Groups&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://area51.stackexchange.com/proposals/27488/autism&quot;&gt;Autism StackExchange&lt;/a&gt; page; currently early in development.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=hrwuY1oao9oC&amp;amp;dq=growing%20up%20with%20a%20sibling%20with%20autism&amp;amp;source=gbs_navlinks_s&quot;&gt;Growing Up with Autism: Working with School-Age Children and Adolescents&lt;/a&gt; book&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=NBAv9piwGGEC&amp;amp;dq=growing%20up%20with%20a%20sibling%20with%20autism&amp;amp;source=gbs_similarbooks&quot;&gt;The Everything Parent's Guide to Children With Asperger's Syndrome&lt;/a&gt; book&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/temple_grandin_the_world_needs_all_kinds_of_minds.html&quot;&gt;Temple Grandin: The world needs all kinds of minds&lt;/a&gt; charming video giving perspective on ASD&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T18:01:35.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1898" CreationDate="2011-06-22T18:06:04.773" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends on the pump, but 5 minutes each side was not enough for me.  Generally, the more demand there is, the more supply there is.  However, that's a blanket generalization and doesn't always work out to be that way for people in real life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have enough supply to support breastfeeding in general?  Your situation will likely be very different if you have a condition like &lt;a href=&quot;http://noteveryonecanbreastfeed.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;insufficient glandular tissue &lt;/a&gt;or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeed.com/breastfeeding-problems/illness/breastfeeding-pcos&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;PCOS&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barring a supply issue, determining how long to pump is an individualized thing; for some women, 10 minutes each side is optimal, and any time after that is not worth the time and could cause excessive pain.  Any time you have feelings of fullness without the baby being hungry would likely be a good time to pump.  Websites about &quot;exclusively pumping&quot; or &quot;EPing&quot; can help, even if you plan to mostly breastfeed.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mother-2-mother.com/ExclusivePumping.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's one of them.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T18:06:04.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1781" CreationDate="2011-06-22T18:15:14.640" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, slightly moist is okay (e.g. moist from a diaper wipe).  That said, once or twice a day, I put a diaper under her bottom and play peek-a-boo with her for a few minutes on the changing table.  (Do be sure to strap the baby in of course if you're going to duck under the table!)  I don't feel this hurts, although it's hard to say if it helps do anything other than make diaper changing times more fun for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my baby, diaper rash is more a function of teething and her dairy allergy.  We change her frequently so we haven't really run into diaper rash apart from the teething and the food allergy.  However, for the teething rash, her ped did recommend letting her air out a bit longer than we otherwise would.  Nothing really life-changing, just a few minutes between taking off the old diaper and putting on the new one.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T18:15:14.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1986" CreationDate="2011-06-22T18:23:45.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My policy is that if I'm worried about it, it's at least worth a call to the doctor.  You're a new parent and have a right to worry about things you haven't anticipated or experienced before.  Any doctor who doesn't take you seriously should be ditched in favor of a doctor who does.  No question should be too stupid for a doctor.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know your child better than anyone else.  The doctor doesn't know your child the way you do, any other families don't know your child the way you do, your friends don't know your child the way you do.  I chalk parental instincts up to the subconscious mind picking up on details that your conscious mind may not have put together yet.  If you suspect there is something wrong, you may be right, and in any event, I think it's far better to act on your instincts than to dismiss yourself and undermine your own confidence in yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one on the internet can really tell you if there's something wrong or not.  While I agree with TorbenGB that infants don't see a whole lot--and my baby had some very weird facial expressions when she was a newborn--my attitude is that a pediatrician is there not only to help the child, but help the parent.  Let your pediatrician help you.  It's what they're there for.  They've answered questions weirder than yours before, trust me.  Even if this turns out to be nothing wrong, you've educated yourself for the future, you've given yourself another data point to assess how good your pediatrician is, you've established more of a relationship with him/her, you've helped refine your own instincts, and you've done what it takes to make yourself feel at ease and that you are caring for your baby as much as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T18:23:45.787" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1851" CreationDate="2011-06-22T18:30:21.040" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming you're using disposables.  My baby managed to wiggle out of her diaper at 3 months.  So, first, make sure that the diaper is secured and that the little tabs on the sides overlap each other properly at the hip.  Take it from me, this is a surprisingly important detail.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each brand of diaper is going to fit a little differently than others.  It could be you need to use a different brand.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I change my baby very frequently so the only time I've run into leaks is overnight when the diaper is just overly full.  My baby still wakes up during the night (unfortunately) so I just make a point of changing her every time she wakes up, even if she's groggy and half-asleep or cranky and doesn't want the change.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she leaks at all during the day, it tells me that I need to go up a size.  Leaking out the top is an indicator of this--the &quot;rise&quot; of the diaper may not be high enough.  This can even be the case for a newborn; diapers are sized in part based on the weight of the baby, and newborn diapers typically only seem to go up to 8-10 pounds.  Even if your baby was 8 pounds at birth, it's possible that he's grown out of newborn diapers already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest trying a few store brands; my baby does quite well on generics (better than brand-name diapers; those burned her bottom and gave her allergic rash).  They're a cheap way of experimenting with what diapers fit best and what ones don't.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T18:30:21.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2054" CreationDate="2011-06-22T18:33:27.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously this is just one view, but I would give a lot of weight to the friends....academics can always be found, friends cannot...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1205" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T18:33:27.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2011-06-22T18:57:37.350" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Taekwondo assistant instructor here.  I started studying it when I was 13.  I prefer not to teach children under the age of 5 or 6 because most are not ready for it.  Unless you have a very coordinated child with exceptional attention span and patience, it's just going to be an exercise in frustration for everyone.  You have to know your child, however, and there are some 7- and 8-year-olds who have no business in a martial arts classroom because they just don't have the focus to participate in the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are classes at a lot of larger park districts called things like &quot;Tot Kwon Do&quot; or toddler martial arts.  I've taught graduates of these programs and often find them ready to start formal Taekwondo at 5 or 6.  The difference between the tot programs and what we teach is that the tot programs are designed for younger kids--simpler, shorter, less about rigorous training and more about getting to know the body and how it works.  Many contain techniques or talks about &quot;stranger danger.&quot;  It's a bit of a misnomer to call them martial arts in a way, but they can be very useful for kids who want to get into martial arts/self defense but are a bit too little to get much out of a formal class.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bear in mind that children learn martial arts differently than adults.  The vast majority of kids do not have the skills to understand the underlying physics of martial arts.  Most don't even know the parts of the body all that well, and most kids are shaky on right and left well into pre-teen mode.  I started studying at 13 and did well--for a kid.  When I got back into it after college in my twenties, I realized just how little I really knew.  It's the difference between rote learning and true understanding.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get a lot of parents who, after 4 weeks of study, are really concerned that little Johnny hasn't &quot;mastered&quot; the front-snap kick.  I get a lot of kids and parents who don't understand that martial arts training is cumulative, that you don't learn one thing and then move on to the next, so you forget the first thing you learned--like Western education.  Given that you have some martial arts experience, you might already know this.  But do try to keep good expectations--martial arts are GREAT for teaching kids confidence, coordination, balance, discipline, focus, self-control, respect for themselves and others.  I've seen kids go from being complete train wrecks of coordination with no patience for themselves or anyone else to beautiful martial artists.  But typically that's because the parents didn't push for them to have an adult understanding of what they were doing; they accept their kids at the developmental level they are at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I am enthusiastically a proponent of teaching martial arts to kids who are ready for it.  Kids who have some semblance of an attention span and can last the hour or 1.5 hours the class lasts.  Kids who have either good coordination or the patience and drive to learn to have good coordination.  Kids who have some idea how to act in a classroom and can stay quiet when I'm teaching so they don't distract the other kids.  Kids who can work well with a partner, practicing strikes and kicks without actually touching/hurting the other kid.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best thing to do to pick a school is to keep an open mind and not stay too attached to one school or discipline.  There are many martial arts out there, and there's no one art that is right for everyone.  Some kids may love the complexity of Aikido or Hapkido and the idea of turning someone's force against them.  Some kids may love the big  movements and vigorous exercise of Taekwondo or Karate.  Some kids may love to get thrown all over the place and prefer Judo.  Some kids may not have much love of bare-handed fighting, but put a sword in their hands (Kendo, Koryo Gumdo, etc.) and they're like poetry.  If your kid isn't taking to one martial art, try another.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't work well with one instructor, find another school of the same art and try another teacher.  A mature instructor will realize that s/he is not going to be all things to all people.  A mature parent of a child in martial arts will realize the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T18:57:37.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2011-06-22T20:00:26.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started Tae-Kwon-Do for our son when he was 5. He's 9 now and still loving it. The Master told us that he teaches kids as young as 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that since the kid has to be in class with other kids, he/she should be at the age where he/she can understand and follow instructions without being distracted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T20:00:26.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1496" CreationDate="2011-06-22T20:50:02.473" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When not eating sugary cereal, they'll tend to eat sugary waffles or sugary pop-tarts. On occasion, a sugary donut or sugary muffin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kid. A bit. They do enjoy plain Cheerios and milk, and yogurt is always a favorite. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-06-22T20:50:02.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1851" CreationDate="2011-06-23T01:57:10.463" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I certainly wrapped my second newborn higher and tighter than the first, because I was no longer scared of doing so.  In true geek fashion her waist band was past her belly button in newborn diapers.  She leaked less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T01:57:10.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2054" CreationDate="2011-06-23T02:04:20.177" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the great tips already provided, I agree with Claire. There have been studies done and experts like Dr Dan Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, state that academics and IQ is less a predictor of life long success than the social/emotional intelligence a child acquires. Social relationships are very important. A child can always be challenged in any school if you are a strong advocate, so whatever school you choose, let your voice be heard!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1209" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T02:04:20.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2073" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-23T04:25:48.570" Score="8" ViewCount="3446" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a friend that just described her situation and I'm lost. Hopefully someone here can help me out. I'm a programmer so I'm using variables instead of names :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A = my friend&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;B = her friend (female)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;C &amp;amp; D = her friend's children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;E &amp;amp; F = her friend's children's respective fathers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and the situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;B is in the hospital on life support likely to die (malpractice suit in progress)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A is the god-mother of C &amp;amp; D&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A is unmarried without room for the children but will change her environment if needed to qualify for custody&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;E has given up all rights as a father&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;F is a drug addict and shouldn't raise a child (subjective but true)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is this: What legal options does A have for obtaining custody of C &amp;amp; D?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1210" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-20T12:42:01.793" LastActivityDate="2019-07-20T12:42:01.793" Title="How can the god-parent obtain legal custody of children when single parent is comatose?" Tags="|extended-family|custody|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2017-07-26T20:52:02.150" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2073" CreationDate="2011-06-23T05:24:22.217" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer .. IANAL, and &lt;strong&gt;A needs a lawyer&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there are inherent legal rights conferred by being a &quot;god-parent&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However ... the real answer is it depends who is contesting. If no one contests, the court will award A custody. It will initially temporary, and she will need to petition for adoption after all is settled. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relevant Issues:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What sort of legal provisions were made by B?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The ages of the children and their wishes and concerns.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are there any other relatives of B or E&amp;amp;F around?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How big is the malpractice settlement going to be?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there any  clear indications available that B intended for A to raise the kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did E renounce paternity rights through a legal process?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absent other relatives, B has a reasonable shot to get the C (the child of E), because E no longer has parental rights. It will be far harder to get D (the child of F), particularly if F gets an eye on the malpractice jackpot.  The courts will search out F, and he will get the benefit of the doubt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice to A ...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;GET A LAWYER.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get the court to appoint the kids their own legal guardian(s) for the process.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work with the court appointed guardian/s and be clear that the kids are all that matters to you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Push to get trusts setup for the kids in the event they come into money through the litigation. The guardian/s should be able to do this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In case I wasn't clear enough ... &lt;strong&gt;GET A LAWYER.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T05:24:22.217" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2075" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2078" CreationDate="2011-06-23T06:06:20.670" Score="5" ViewCount="7142" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our house has no bathtubs, only showers. We have very active 17-month-old twins that love the tubs at the grandparents' and we'd love to be able to have one at home. Unfortunately all the inflatable tubs are pretty small at this point and we'd rather avoid the cost of installing an actual tub. Is there such product that's large and we can just place in the shower as is?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1211" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:07:43.907" LastActivityDate="2017-05-04T21:03:37.083" Title="How can I bathe my baby in the shower?" Tags="|toddler|infant|bathing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2075" CreationDate="2011-06-23T07:18:32.163" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We picked up a tub at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babysam.dk/Pages/Product.aspx?productid=528713&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;BabySam&lt;/a&gt; here in DK for our son - he's 3 and he still fits in it perfectly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3FLYP.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Volume: 90 liter.&#xA;Dimensions H33, B69 og L82 cm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also have a new sort of bathtub, one that's foldable:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/KoKeO.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its dimensions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfolded:  L:67 cm, B:39 cm, H:24 cm &#xA;Folded : L:67 cm, B:8 cm, H:24 cm&#xA;Weight: 1,3 kg. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just have the tub on its side against the wall of the bathroom when it's not in use; the folding ones would take up even less space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T07:18:32.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="637" CreationDate="2011-06-23T10:18:49.933" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I drink a lot of tea, so caffeine consumption has always been something the kids are familiar with. I occasionally used to let them have a sip of mine when they were much younger but only recently started giving them their own to drink (probably around age 7/8). When they do ask for a cup of tea I only give them half a cup of weak, milky tea, so they're not getting huge amounts of caffeine, and they don't drink it more than about once a week on average. I still don't give them caffeinated fizzy drinks although if I found out that someone else had given them a coke I wouldn't be too worried (unless this was happening very regularly). I have told them that caffeine is not really very healthy and it's best for kids not to have much as their bodies and minds are still developing, and that grown ups can choose to make unhealthy choices because as an adult you are responsible for your own wellbeing and can choose whether you want to accept the consequences, but as their parent it's my job to protect them. Very similar in some ways to how I have explained about alcohol and other things, in fact. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have to be realistic in admitting to children that people do things that are bad for them, as they will see people all around them doing things they shouldn't do, but do our best to explain why they should avoid doing these things themselves and help them to make educated choices as they get older. I have tried to explain to them that one of the reasons it is especially important for children not to use caffeine, alcohol, drugs, etc, is that they are still developing and these things can interfere with that. Hopefully the fact that I have taught them this now will make it easier for me to have similar discussions about drugs &amp;amp; alcohol in their teens - personally I don't have a moral concern about these things, but knowing what I do about brain development makes me concerned about young people getting into them too early while their minds are not yet developed. And from a behavioural point of view, it's easy to get into &quot;bad habits&quot; with these things at a young age and once habits are established they can be hard to break. For example, a lot of teenagers binge drink, and this then becomes the norm so they continue doing the same as adults. If every time you've been out drinking you've always got very drunk it feels weird to go out and drink more sensibly! I know my tea drinking is a pattern that was established at a young age - my parents allowed me to drink tea &amp;amp; coffee when I was a preschooler, and it became a normal drink for me. I now find it really hard to wake up in the morning without several cups of tea! I also experienced insomnia for most of my school years and it was only when I was an older teen that I cut down the amount of caffeine I drank in the evening &amp;amp; started to sleep more normally. The effects of caffeine definitely shouldn't be taken lightly!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have explained all of this in a child friendly way - my kids understand that it is good to avoid getting into bad habits as they are hard to break, and that their brains &amp;amp; bodies are precious things that they should protect from harm (especially while still developing), and that thinking about the consequences of their actions, even very far into the future, is important, and so on. I think helping them understand these things gives them the tools to make better decisions in their lives, and are much more useful than blanket, black &amp;amp; white &quot;do this, don't do that&quot; statements (I do also tell them when I feel they should or shouldn't do something, but always try to explain why, not just &quot;do as I say&quot;). However, even if you have given them these tools, children naturally live in the present and are not good at thinking through the consequences of their actions, so until they develop this skill fully it is our job as parents to help them avoid serious negative consequences &amp;amp; guide them towards sensible decisions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1212" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T10:18:49.933" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2075" CreationDate="2011-06-23T11:35:16.953" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was 2-4 years old, we had this issue and used a large plastic storage box (without the lid!) for this, and it worked very well. They're cheap (and since we had just moved had many anyway, and when he didn't need it any more, it went back into service as a box), have no sharp edges, and completely watertight. Ensure that it's the high quality strong plastic (the ones you could pack dozens of books into) and not the stuff that breaks when you barely touch it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I recall correctly, the one we used had a 120L capacity, and it was only when he got to 4 that it started being a bit cramped (we moved to a house with a bath at this point, so never looked into alternatives). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The worst part was that when full it's heavy, so lifting it to empty the water was something I or my wife had to do (i.e. not grandparents when visiting), although this does mean that it doesn't get knocked over and spill everywhere. There's also some care needed to empty without overflowing the shower. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're strong enough to carry it, there's an added advantage of any tub in that you can reuse the water (e.g. in the garden) much more simply than with a real bathtub. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="84" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T11:35:16.953" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2011-06-23T14:47:57.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the best things to help get a boy up and being productive is having someone like his mom, dad, sister, brother, etc. do something with him. Going outside and playing catch, playing a board game, go on a walk, or bike ride, teach him some new basketball games or moves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just spend time with him doing exciting things that &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; likes, because if he doesn't like them then he'll never spend such time with you guys again. He'll think hes not going to get to do what he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1214" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-09-29T21:04:58.383" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T21:04:58.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2073" CreationDate="2011-06-23T14:59:11.250" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adding to tomjedrz...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Who currently has physical custody of the children? If it is A, make it official with the authorities, such as a family court or child protective services. If not we will need more information.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What sort of documents are available to assert B's intentions? Find letters, emails, baptismal records, power of attorney as relates to medical decisions, and any others. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In addition to the fathers, what about grandparents of C &amp;amp; D: there should be six to choose from if still living.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What about siblings of B?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does A want custody of the children or does A want to fulfill her commitments to B or does A want what's best for the children? This can be difficult to work through.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If being a godparent was part of a church ceremony approach the church for help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Obtaining legal custody of children is often difficult and painful in the courts, in addition to the difficulty of actually taking children into your life unexpectedly. A may work through all of this and at the end find she can not accommodate the result.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What do the children want?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If A cannot afford a lawyer, especially as she may be taking on the needs of the children, seek out and obtain legal advice from charitable legal services. Sometimes called legal assistance or pro bono. Find a list of free service providers &lt;a href=&quot;http://apps.americanbar.org/legalservices/probono/directory.html&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; from the American Bar Association.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T14:59:11.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="637" CreationDate="2011-06-23T15:51:22.753" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;The quote below is from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/securit/addit/caf/food-caf-aliments-eng.php&quot;&gt;Health Canada - Caffeine in Food&lt;/a&gt; which also has a list of the amount of caffeine in various drinks and foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Recommended Maximum Caffeine Intake&#xA;  Levels for Children and Women of&#xA;  Childbearing Age&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  4 - 6  years   45 mg/day&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  7 - 9 years   62.5 mg/day&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  10 - 12 years   85 mg/day  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Women who are planning to become pregnant, pregnant women and breast feeding mothers&lt;br&gt;&#xA;                            300 mg/day&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each person (and child) will have a different reaction to caffeine and attention is warranted. In particular children and pregnant women should avoid too much caffeine. But caffeine is showing up in research with many positive effects on human health. Let's not over do the warnings to children about caffeine to the point they think it is inherently bad for you. Moderation in all things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Resource:&lt;br&gt;&#xA; - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/coffee-new-health-food&quot;&gt;Coffee and Your Health&lt;/a&gt; via WebMD&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T15:51:22.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2052" CreationDate="2011-06-23T18:36:07.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not familiar with the book, but I can tell you my experience with my first child. He started showing interest in bathroom and waking up with a dry diaper. My wife was on vacation and I was going to have a long weekend so we decided to give it a try. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We sat down with him and explained the whole thing, and how he was now a big boy and he was ready to use the potty. At first it was very scary for him. Sitting was fun, we read him a story or showed him a video from Elmo, and he was very happy, but when he felt he was about to pee, he started yelling a lot, as if it was a bad thing. We faced the same situation on a previous attempt and we quit trying then. But know we kept on trying, we told him everything was going to be alright and it was OK to pee in the potty. He finally did it and started to be less scared every time. Every time he pee in the potty we gave him a price such as a gummy bear or a little chocolate. Next day he was going every time with just one accident and he has been fine ever since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was on his underwear the whole time (no training diapers, except when we went to the store or grandma's). And at night we would sleep with his training diapers. After a month or so without wetting the training diapers, we decided that he could sleep without them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing is to notice when the kid is ready and make him as comfortable as possible. If there are accidents, don't make a big deal out of it, just have him help you out to clean. If he succeeds, make sure to make a big deal and regard him with hugs and maybe a little treat as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So to sum up, it is possible, my kid had it almost completely at day 2, but I'm sure it depends completely on each kid. I've heard parents saying that theirs did it on day one, some take more than a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1181" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T18:36:07.887" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-06-23T21:05:20.093" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about it. Our son did the same thing when his vocabulary was expanding,  sometime starting around two years old. He grew out of it after a 2-6 months, he is 5 now and doesn't exhibit any of the stuttering behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;There is enough things to spend energy on when it comes to parenting (modeling and teaching integrity, enjoying your children, having a healthy marriage, etc.) Don't worry too much about your child's vocal-explorations :)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1202" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T21:05:20.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2041" CreationDate="2011-06-23T21:14:44.160" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a great question! Some of the posts here are similar to our own experiences. I'd just add two thing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Run, exercise, play with your son. Our two boys seem to sleep best after they've had a full day worth of activity. An added bonus is that they will begin to form healthy active lifestyle habits.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sufficiently nourished. If our kids don't eat a good meal they tend to wake up early&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Every kid is different too, our youngest (age 3) falls right asleep but wakes up with the sun :) Our other son, age 5, can take 1, 2 or even 3 hours to fall asleep at night. During this time we are working with him that, while he can't control when he actually falls asleep, he is still responsible to stay in his bed, be quiet and calm. (My wife also takes a long time to fall asleep, maybe its all related?)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1202" LastActivityDate="2011-06-23T21:14:44.160" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2011-06-24T07:31:16.600" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others here have said, it depends on the child, but it also depends on the dojo/dojang. &#xA;Look for an instructor who is responsible in what they teach children. For example I wouldn't teach preteens to do eye strikes or many joint locks due to the damage they can do if they try it out in the playground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1220" LastActivityDate="2011-06-24T07:31:16.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="420" CreationDate="2011-06-24T13:31:07.313" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The tricky part of the question is that you are not the parent of the bully, you are the parent of the one being bullied. Although you ask what can be done to stop the bully, you don't actually have the position to do this because most of the time you aren't with that child and you can't enforce consistency. Of course, the advice here is great for the parent of the bully. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also have a challenge because the children are cousins, so you can't avoid contact until the behaviour improves (which I did with a bullying child and my son and it worked well, the two boys are great friends now). I would do what you can in that direction. Talk to the child's parents and say that you are concerned for your child (it may be embarrassing but they need to know). You could try agreeing to go away from each other when it happens (this may be difficult for your child but its probably better than being bullied)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end you can hope the behaviour will stop, but your focus needs to be on how you can protect and support your child if it doesn't&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1110" LastActivityDate="2011-06-24T13:31:07.313" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1067" CreationDate="2011-06-24T13:43:31.303" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why are you concerned about this? I ask because it relates to how you should respond. If you are having difficulties understanding him then you should focus on taking more time to get a response you can understand. But I have the sense that you feel he &lt;em&gt;ought&lt;/em&gt; to be able to use sentences by now (esp. when you make comments like he is 'lazy about using sentences')&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never met a lazy two year old. They are very busy, there are so many things to learn, and they all focus on different things at different times. But if clear communication is high on your priorities then make sure you are communicating with your son all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speak in clear sentences and look for signs he has understood&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Listen to him, and try to expand on his conversation.  SHow him you have heard what he said by repeating it back to him (politely, of course) You can also translate it into a sentence - to show him how.  So he says 'ball!' you say 'could you pass me the ball please mummy?'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to worry about whether he has hit the milestones, there's plenty of time after all&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1110" LastActivityDate="2011-06-24T13:43:31.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2089" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2091" CreationDate="2011-06-24T13:53:30.897" Score="6" ViewCount="2172" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dreft seems to be the near universal suggestion for baby laundry detergent but it is tested on animals.  We try as much as possible to use products that are not animal tested so we are looking for an alternative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are good alternatives to Dreft that are not tested on animals?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:36:42.943" LastActivityDate="2021-10-13T02:49:51.853" Title="What is a good baby laundry detergent that is not tested on animals?" Tags="|hygiene|cleaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2021-10-13T04:37:54.683" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2047" CreationDate="2011-06-24T14:00:46.177" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any place can be the naughty step.  I have used the vegetable aisle in waitrose, and many other places; ostensibly, the naughty step is somewhere for them to reflect, I believe, on what they have done, so where it is doesn't matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-06-24T14:00:46.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2089" CreationDate="2011-06-24T14:17:28.153" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use Seventh Generation products and their &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.seventhgeneration.com/Natural-Baby-Laundry-Detergent&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Natural Baby Laundry Detergent&lt;/a&gt;. It is not tested on animals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a consumer who was worried that their products are tested on animals, not by the company, but by a 3rd party (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.seventhgeneration.com/animal-testing&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;see link&lt;/a&gt;). However, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vegetarian-restaurants.net/OtherInfo/Seventh-Generation.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Seventh Generation responded&lt;/a&gt; by saying that they use &lt;em&gt;existing test data&lt;/em&gt; which was received when they licensed their products to another company. They didn't directly contribute or commissioned any of their own tests. (So it's as if the other companies wanted assurance of animal testing, and then provided test results to Seventh Generation for reference.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also use &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.etsy.com/listing/75461657/natural-vegan-laundry-detergent-48-to-96&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;natural laundry detergents from Etsy&lt;/a&gt; (just a random one I found). These have the benefit of being simple (no fragrances, additives, etc.) and are not necessarily more expensive to use. The downside, of course, is that if you're out - and didn't order more - you got to go get something else from the store!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/04/09/making-your-own-laundry-detergent-a-detailed-visual-guide/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;make your own laundry detergen&lt;/a&gt;t. If done in bulk, it's not too much work or difficult. And saves a heck of a lot of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2011-06-24T14:24:41.830" LastActivityDate="2011-06-24T14:24:41.830" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2047" CreationDate="2011-06-24T15:21:17.653" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When dealing with a misbehaving child in public remember that it is basically your responsibility to civilize them by taking them into public where they will misbehave and then correct them. Reasonable people (the public) understand this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Expect children to misbehave in public and expect to correct them. The more exposure they have to both experiences the more places you'll be able to enjoy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Expect children also to have moments of good behavior in public and thank them, reward them, and let them know how much you like them when they behave.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some ideas that come to mind: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set an example.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Communicate expectations before going to a new place and remind when going to someplace familiar.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Practice at home. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ignore minor bad behavior as much as possible to avoid rewarding it with attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Enthusiastically praise good behavior&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Time outs (alone time for 1-3 mins) are difficult because the calming effects of time out are often associated by the child with a location in the home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With a tantrum, try to remove the child from the immediate circumstance, let them calm down (for example don't start yelling at them) and then reinforce the expected behavior. Unfortunately, tantrums are normal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Difficult things for children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At restaurants children have to wait much longer than they expect to get food; try ordering their food immediately.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After a meal children have short patience for sitting at the table with nothing to do; cut after dinner chit chat short and bring activities (try out table toys at home after dinner).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sitting in a shopping cart with nothing to do while all manner of new objects stream past them; bring toys, activities, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-06-24T15:21:17.653" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2093" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-24T19:16:38.023" Score="1" ViewCount="398" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for online software that will help me get my family prepared and secure. Any tips?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, a solution to the problem of discovering or detecting risks to your family and finding tasks to mitigate or contingency plan for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a number of checklist sites and parenting forums but I'm looking for something more personalized to my situation and context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you currently do it? Excel spreadsheets? To-do lists? Thanks for tips and techniques!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1222" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:36:19.590" LastActivityDate="2017-10-17T07:17:49.187" Title="What software can I use to plan and prepare for my family's security and safety?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2089" CreationDate="2011-06-25T05:10:49.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend to look at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.iherb.com/?rcode=BOX389&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;iHerb online store&lt;/a&gt;. It supplies a vast selection of brand name natural products. Especially you can check &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.iherb.com/Baby-Detergent?rcode=BOX389&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby, Laundry Detergent category&lt;/a&gt;. Most of the products there aren't animal tested (this fact is denoted in description of the product).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know where are you from, but I'm personally from Israel and it's also cheaper to buy these natural products at this site (including delivery) than at offline store nearby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="411" LastActivityDate="2011-06-25T05:10:49.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1812" CreationDate="2011-06-26T06:51:28.650" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby pimples actually have little to nothing to do with cleanliness.  It could be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-acne_72.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby acne&lt;/a&gt;.  My baby had this for a few weeks, and we were told it was hormonal.  The problem with bathing a newborn is that their skin is very, very fragile.  This is even more true if you are dealing with a preemie.  I would suggest sticking to once-per-week bathing for a while, and talking to the pediatrician if the acne gets particularly bad or you want to know more about when to start bathing more often.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T06:51:28.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="715" CreationDate="2011-06-26T07:08:15.750" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did not pierce our baby girl's ears.  Human rights debates aside, there are some hygiene issues that I think deserve consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was allergic to nickel.  Still am to an extent.  But when I got my ears pierced at the age of 7, it was because I &lt;em&gt;really wanted them to be pierced&lt;/em&gt;.  That's why I was willing to put up with itching, weeping, swollen, hot, painful earlobes for years.  I even used plastic posts and plastic sleeves on metal posts, which are bigger and hurt to put in.  I was willing to subject myself to all sorts of torture because I wanted earrings that badly, but I cannot imagine subjecting a baby to that.  Metal allergies are not uncommon, yet most people who pierce a baby's ears don't think of that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, caring for pierced ears requires some attention to hygiene beyond all the myriad things you're already doing for your baby.  My baby would not have put up with people touching her ears to clean them or rotate posts or examine them often to make sure they aren't infected.  I love her to bits, but she's been stubborn since the day she was born.  It's important to consider a baby's temperament when making a lot of parenting decisions, and if you feel that your child might not put up with the routine inspection and maintenance, I think it's advisable to wait.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, even children who are very afraid of needles can get their ears pierced.  My sister is needle-phobic.  We still managed to get her to do it, mostly because she was around 9 and still couldn't wear pretty earrings like her sister.  She chickened out a few times but eventually got it done.  The fear and pain can be overcome, even in the worst-case scenario with an extremely fearful child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T07:08:15.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1197" CreationDate="2011-06-26T07:15:25.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would talk to a doctor because this touches on issues that only someone with access to your child's chart would know.  A condition like asthma or being born with a heart defect may change the answer.  My overall philosophy is that it's not a good idea to give medical advice sight-unseen over the internet; all anyone can tell you are generalities or what works for their child.  Even referencing studies isn't always helpful because your child could fit into some kind of out-lier case not covered by the study.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't consider 50*F cold at all, and frequently played outside in that kind of weather as long as I was dressed comfortably.  That said, I was used to far colder weather, and made sure to wear a scarf over my mouth because I am asthmatic.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T07:15:25.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="268" CreationDate="2011-06-26T07:17:37.007" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have this problem with my 14-month-old.  It's gotten to the point where I mostly give her crayons, figuring that while she can hurt herself with these, those suckers seem to break if you &lt;em&gt;look&lt;/em&gt; at them the wrong way, so it can't be &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; bad if she falls on them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T07:17:37.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="275" CreationDate="2011-06-26T08:14:03.307" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby's 14 mo.  I think it's crucial to divide behavior issues into &quot;danger&quot; and &quot;preference&quot; situations.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;&quot;Danger&quot; situations&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Danger gets the most severe reaction.  I reserve yelling for truly bad situations (sticking a hand into a fire, trying to get delicious-looking coins out of mommy's purse, etc.).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Danger means taking the kid away from the thing or the thing away from the kid quickly, without waiting to use the situation as an exercise in teaching discipline.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toddlers hear the word &quot;no&quot; so often it becomes meaningless, which can actually increase their likelihood of getting hurt because they don't distinguish between what you think is dangerous and what you just plain don't want them to do.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;No&quot; doesn't tell a child anything about why he shouldn't do what he was about to do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I try to use words that specifically pertain to that situation, like &quot;hot&quot; &quot;owch&quot; and &quot;danger&quot; so my baby knows when she hears those words they mean business.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't expect your child to get it--yet--but keep in mind that you're laying the foundation for later.    &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;For preferences, discipline in steps according to rules&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my baby is doing something I don't want her to do but isn't putting her in imminent danger, I try to give her the chance to revise her behavior before I revise it for her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have come up with short, easy to understand rules for just about everything.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she's beginning to do something that's against the rules, I use a low, ringing tone of voice reserved only for when she's in trouble, and tell her the rule firmly.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she stops doing the behavior, I praise her by telling her she followed the rule (repeating the rule itself) with a smile and a happy tone of voice and often clap for her.  If she doesn't stop, I repeat step 2.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I get through steps 2 and 3 twice and she still hasn't stopped, I physically remove her from the situation.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I have to physically remove her, I explain the rule again in short, easy words/phrases.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Examples&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my rules is &quot;we do not climb.&quot;  My daughter likes to stack things in general, but also has discovered she can climb on what she stacks.  I don't want to stifle her play unnecessarily.  If she starts to put her foot onto something, though, I will give her warning number one, telling her in a low, quick, loud tone reserved for trouble that &quot;we do not climb.&quot;  It usually startles her into pausing and taking her foot down.  If she doesn't pause and just tries to climb up and is at risk of hurting herself, I will grab her and cut it off right there, repeating the rule as I do.  If, however, she takes her foot off the thing, I praise her by saying something specific like &quot;that's right, you're a good girl, you do not climb.&quot;  If she takes her foot off and then puts it on again, she gets the warning again.  If she continues to not listen to me, or keeps taking her foot on and off again, I will give up and physically remove her from the situation, repeating the rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example is &quot;you can touch mommy's earrings but you can't pull.&quot;  As she touches the earrings, I will repeat &quot;you can touch&quot; and things like &quot;good girl,&quot; &quot;good baby,&quot; &quot;nice babies touch gently.&quot;  If she starts to pull, I tell her &quot;no, we don't pull.&quot;  I repeat this if I feel I need to, and switch to praising her immediately if she goes back to just touching.  If she's too squirrelly I will just remove her hands, put her down, or take the earrings off.  But using this technique, I have not had to stop wearing the long, dangly, sparkly earrings I love.  We've also been able to keep her from grabbing peoples' glasses off their faces or yanking on necklaces.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Be Quick, Be Appropriate&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remember that the younger the child, the more immediate a world they live in.  If you don't discipline right away, they will not associate the discipline with the correct behavior.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child understands concrete things okay, abstract things barely, if at all.  Keep it simple.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child has a limited vocabulary.  Use few and short words.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your tone means more than your words, so keep it consistent and only use your &quot;preferences&quot; voice when the child is doing something against your preferences.  Only use your &quot;danger&quot; voice when the child is doing something that risks harm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Timing is everything.  Praise the child the second he stops doing a bad behavior and jump on it the second he starts doing something you prefer he didn't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise is just as much a key component of discipline as punishment.  Most children want to please their parents at that age.  Discipline is a win-win scenario when you are vigilant about acknowledging good behavior.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider other factors when disciplining.  A tired, teething, hungry, over-stimulated, or sick child may just need to be removed from the situation even if it isn't overtly dangerous, simply because he doesn't have the patience to figure out your rules.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discipline is just as much about good communication and healthy boundaries as it is about preventing harm to the child.  You can't childproof a neighbor's or relative's house, but you can take your healthy boundaries and good communication with you (the clear rule &quot;we do not pull things out of bookcases&quot; is portable).  Putting your preferences as a priority teaches your child to respect you as a person.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's fine to not feel that something is worth making a fuss over, but consider whether your child might be doing that behavior in an attempt to elicit some guidance out of you.  Your child may be more comfortable when even small things have boundaries that he can learn.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had great success with these methods; I wish you luck in figuring out what's best for your child!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T08:14:03.307" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-06-26T08:19:25.283" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer your question of whether you should ignore this, I would say this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My philosophy is that if I'm asking the question on the internet, I should be asking my child's doctor.  A corollary to this is that if my doctor isn't taking my questions seriously (even if this is the 14th time they've heard this question this week!) then it's time to find a new doctor.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're the parent.  You have a right to be concerned.  Your doctor may say it's completely normal.  But even in that case, you've taken advantage of an opportunity to get to know your ped better and maintain that relationship with him/her.  Your doctor may say that there's an issue and then you've set your child up for early intervention.  Either way, you get to go to sleep at night knowing you've done what you could.  Your peace of mind is valuable, too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as &quot;how&quot; to address this, I would suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making a little journal to note when he seems to show the problem.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Including in that journal notes on what exacerbates the problem.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Including what seems to help resolve the problem.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Indicating when he gets frustrated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make a video/audio recording of your son stuttering.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take all of the above to the pediatrician along with your son.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;See if you can get your son to replicate the stuttering in the ped's office; otherwise use the tape.  (Since you said he seems to do this most around people with whom he's comfortable, the tape may be of particular value here.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go over the journal with the ped to see if there's any kind of pattern.  Take copious notes.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the ped doesn't think it's a major issue, I'd suggest music to help your child develop better speech rhythm.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he's getting frustrated, perhaps singing what he's trying to tell you will force him to slow down and concentrate on the words.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It may also help to use some kind of tactile motion to coordinate his words.  Clapping might seem odd to people outside your family, but even tapping his finger against his palm for each word or syllable may help him to focus on his meter.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A park district class or library class on basic music for toddlers might also help him achieve better rhythm that translates into better speech.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A park district or library class on basic dance might help as well, for the same reasons.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He may be a little young for a kids' choir but if your local music school or park district offers toddler singing group lessons, this might help him gain better breath control and awareness of the sounds coming out of his mouth.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastEditorUserId="1179" LastEditDate="2011-07-07T23:15:26.067" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T23:15:26.067" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1752" CreationDate="2011-06-26T08:25:17.510" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say due to conflicting medical advice given in the other answers to this question, the best bet is to call your ped.  My philosophy is that if I'm asking the question on the internet, I should be asking the question to my doctor.  My philosophy is also that if the doc/ped doesn't take the question seriously, it's time to find a new doc.  We don't have access to your child's chart and any underlying medical conditions, so it's very hard to diagnose a situation sight-unseen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T08:25:17.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="345" CreationDate="2011-06-26T08:28:17.290" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a Taekwondo assistant instructor and have taught families who take classes together.  I love it when parents take classes with their children because they can help their children to practice at home, they can help keep their kids in line in class, and because martial arts promote greater respect within the family.  It's easier to teach that respect to a child when the parent is involved in the martial arts respectful mode of thinking.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T08:28:17.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="828" CreationDate="2011-06-26T08:36:21.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can you find something written by Mia Hamm or filmed by her on someplace like Youtube?  Perhaps your daughter's coach would know of some resource like this.  Alternatively, you or your daughter could write an email or letter to her asking her about how she practices/prepares for games.  You could also ask her how she assesses her own level of play--she may have some suggestions along the lines of what Kilo suggested and ways of keeping track of stats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T08:36:21.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2104" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2109" CreationDate="2011-06-26T14:54:09.100" Score="5" ViewCount="90105" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby doesn't often take a pacifier, but occasionally he will. I've noticed lately that once in a while, putting in the pacifier will trigger his gag reflex and will sometimes even cause him to spit up. I've tried using the &quot;mam&quot; pacifier that we received in the hospital, as well as some Avent ones... he's been using all of these happily until now, although not often. The gagging is a new thing and only occurs sometimes... What could be causing it? Is there anything to do about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:05:39.977" LastActivityDate="2018-10-09T22:56:14.430" Title="Why does a pacifier trigger my baby's gag reflex?" Tags="|infant|pacifier|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2105" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2247" CreationDate="2011-06-26T18:38:49.390" Score="12" ViewCount="1988" Body="&lt;p&gt;My family and I are going camping in a couple of weeks and were wondering if anyone had any tips or just precautions we should take. I have been camping only a couple of times in my life; however, my husband is pretty experienced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are planning to go with my mother, sister, myself, my husband, and our 11 month daughter. So far she seems to love outdoors. She loves her daily stroller rides outside and going on the swing, etc. She learned to walk a few weeks ago, and is getting better and better at walking outdoors as well (uneven ground is a bit of a challenge). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still nurse her twice a day (morning and evening). She doesn't take formula or anything from a bottle. She eats table food / same thing as we do. She doesn't take a pacifier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a non-swimmer, I am really concerned about how the beach will be. What are some things we can do to ensure water safety for her? Are there any recommendations on a life jacket? Anything else we should get? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:04:57.807" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:06:53.603" Title="What should we pack when going camping with an infant?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2105" CreationDate="2011-06-26T21:16:43.687" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nothing really special for camping that you don't already do when you go out.  Just be extra vigilant about sunscreen and bug repellent. She can't tell you when it feels like it's starting to wear off.  Also, most people find it a little difficult to let their child get that dirty.  You just have to let it go for a little while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for beach safety, I prefer those inflatable rings with seats in the middle, or simply to hold her.  Kids that age like to splash more than swim.  They usually get knocked over by the waves, so don't even bother trying to have them walk in a bit unless you are in a very calm bay or something.  Just always keep an eye on her, the same as you keep your eyes on the road while driving.  Don't assume another adult is watching unless you've explicitly confirmed it.  Some people like to have a physical token of some kind to pass around  that designates them as the official kid watcher. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drowning is surprisingly quiet, and children's instincts to panic work against them in a way that no amount of wearable safety equipment can be considered foolproof.  I once turned around for a second while leading my son into a pool and his flotation device flipped completely upside down.  I was literally in arm's reach and had no idea because it was so quiet until someone behind me yelled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I don't mean to scare you.  We've had lots of fun times at the beach with our children.  Most important is to enjoy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T21:16:43.687" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="828" CreationDate="2011-06-26T21:36:53.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 9yo who has been playing basketball for 2.5 years. Frankly, for the first 2 years she sucked. She should have been great (at 9, she's already almost 5'2&quot;) but was slow, afraid of the ball and did her best to be exactly where the action was 3 seconds before. Many games were just embarrassing for us. I didn't care that she couldn't play, my problem was that she wouldn't try. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I addressed this in a few ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we told her that her playing wasn't up to scratch and why. We can he hard on her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;we told her that if she didn't want&#xA;to play, she didn't have to. We offered to move her to another team since she was having personality issues with the other players.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;we practiced with her to show her what she needed to be doing&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we send her on basketball training camps (2 or 3 days) each holidays&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we persevered&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we told her that she doesn't have to be the best, she just needs to be the best that she can be. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she plays well. She's not the best on the team but she's not the worst. More importantly, she is playing at about 80% of her capability. We'll just keep going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-06-26T21:36:53.387" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1978" CreationDate="2011-06-27T00:03:06.030" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1978/psychological-impacts-of-a-split-religion-household-recommendations/1984#1984&quot;&gt;TorbenGB's answer&lt;/a&gt; is informative and sensible, until he recommended the third option ... exposing the children to many faiths but not teaching any of them as truth. This option is impossible, particularly for the Catholic parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your wife must each live your life truthfully, and that includes teaching your children your version of the truth. You can do so in a manner respectful to your wife and the church, or you can do so scornfully. I hope you do so respectfully, as doing so will teach your children to be respectful of other's faith.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update - response to comments&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In interpret #3 as each of you saying to the children something along the lines of &quot;this is what I believe, but there are lots of things to believe, and what you believe really doesn't matter.&quot;  This is nonsensical .. if your beliefs don't matter, why hold them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consequently, I do advocate for option #2, but I would &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; use the term &quot;fight&quot;. To do so implies a winner or a loser.  Should your wife feel she has lost to you if your children should end up faithless? Each of you should live your life honestly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absent the religious perspective, I don't think there is any objective &quot;harm&quot; in raising the children in a split household, as long as the split isn't a source or catalyst for conflict. Each parent must treat the beliefs of the other as worthy of respect and having value. If the split causes rifts, then the rifts will have a negative impact on the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paraphrasing a number of sources... the single best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother, even when you don't agree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-06-27T21:08:08.510" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2104" CreationDate="2011-06-27T10:26:47.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem, especially with Avent, and you can just try brands until it works. It may start happening now simply because you baby is sucking more strongly, or the pacifier is getting old and stretchy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter seemed to prefer pacifiers that was really wide, but ultimately she rejected the idea of pacifiers altogether. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-06-27T10:26:47.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2104" CreationDate="2011-06-27T11:02:01.133" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest son never liked them, he would just spit them out.  My youngest loves them, and whenever he can he looks for them, although when he was younger if the pacifier was a little too long it triggered something similar to what you describe.  Lennart is right, you just need to try different brands until your child finds one that fits or wait until your child grows a little and the pacifier will probably fit better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-06-27T11:02:01.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="753" CreationDate="2011-06-27T20:41:42.910" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As every single child will be different in their approach to potty training, I am not even sure there is a &quot;right&quot; answer to your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few tips we've used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Just wait&lt;/strong&gt;. If it's not working, it's not working. There's no golden rule about what age a kid should be trained (if of course it doesn't go above a certain age where other problems might be involved). When we &quot;started&quot;, it just didn't work so we let it be for a while, and came back to it every other week or so.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be consistent&lt;/strong&gt;. Put the potty in a place easy to access, easy for her to remember and to see, so she is reminded. We put the potty in the bathroom at the beginning (near the bathtub) and she ended up using it. When she was trained enough and we went on to nights, we put it by the side of the bed every night for a while, and after some time, checking it in the evening when she had fallen asleep, we found it full.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give her options&lt;/strong&gt;. We found the &quot;underwear&quot;-type diapers are great for the transition, as they give a sense of security and at the same time work like underwear. The nights were the hardest to get straight and &quot;underwear&quot;-type diapers helped a lot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask early, ask often&lt;/strong&gt;. Without being a bully about it, of course, just ask her if she wants to go. Sometimes, I've found that my going to the toilet and telling her actually triggered her wanting to go as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure she's comfortable on the potty&lt;/strong&gt;. Some kids don't like to have people around when they go (my daughter was like that and would ask me to leave) for example. Others on the contrary may want to be entertained. Make sure it's not too low, or too high, or too tight, or too whatever... It should be a relief, not anything distressing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Play it down when it does not work&lt;/strong&gt; and she does in her pants. Sh** happens, she shouldn't feel like it's the end of the world. However, do give her a sense of responsibility when it happens (like asking her to put her dirty clothes in the laundry basket or something). Rewards (your sticker thing) can work well, I've found sweets (yes, shame on me) to be the best working rewards.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Play it by ear&lt;/strong&gt;. That should actually be my only advice. Just listen to the parent in you and don't worry, it will happen in due time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1236" LastActivityDate="2011-06-27T20:41:42.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2041" CreationDate="2011-06-27T21:43:16.610" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know how long this has been going on, but I've noticed my 3 year old daughter has been somehow following the sun lately. We try to put her in bed at 8.00 pm, but she hardly falls asleep before 10.00 and argues &quot;but it's not night yet&quot;. This might also be a reason why he has trouble going to sleep in the evening. If you have shutters, and can dim the room, this definitely helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the afternoon sleep, I suggest something like a &quot;time out&quot;. Our daughter has also been refusing to sleep in the afternoons but we've insisted on her taking some quiet time in her room, where she can play, and read, but needs to be &quot;away&quot; from us and the rest of the household. We've found her more than once asleep in her bed after a while. This helps with the crankiness in the evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check for night terrors. It might be that he wakes up during the night because he's afraid of something and does not want to go back to sleep. Changing the orientation of the bed, and things around in his room might help with that, by giving him a sense of being a bit somewhere else and taking away what might have scared him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also find that some music to fall asleep helps her with getting away from surrounding sounds that might keep her awake. I usually put on her favorite songs and a timer so the music stops after an hour or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1236" LastEditorUserId="1236" LastEditDate="2011-06-27T22:03:05.443" LastActivityDate="2011-06-27T22:03:05.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1043" CreationDate="2011-06-27T22:16:19.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;On your specific questions, what I've found works for my 3 1/2 and 1 yr old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take the &quot;older&quot; activity to an unreachable place (the kitchen table the smallest one can't reach) so that the activity is &quot;safe&quot; and you don't frustrate the older one by having to do everything over again&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have the older one teach things to the smallest one, or give her/him things she/he can play with. Scraps of papers to play with, spare pieces of models (not too small of course!), give her/him unfinished or badly made stuff to play with.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How about tell the younger &quot;You can't do that, that's for the older only&quot;? That actually works (ok, you may have to repeat it about 100 times) and also shows the older that his/her sibling is not always the center of attention and the one around which behaviour will revolve.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1236" LastActivityDate="2011-06-27T22:16:19.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2093" CreationDate="2011-06-27T22:21:51.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When it comes to security and safety these resources are widely available in the United States.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fema.gov/areyouready/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Are you ready?&lt;/a&gt; via FEMA&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ready.gov/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ready.gov&lt;/a&gt; (a part of FEMA, above, has a Kids section)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redcross.org/portal/site/en/menuitem.d8aaecf214c576bf971e4cfe43181aa0/?vgnextoid=72c51a53f1c37110VgnVCM1000003481a10aRCRD&amp;amp;vgnextfmt=default&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Prepare Your Home and Family&lt;/a&gt; via American Red Cross&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/disaster-readiness/id356750923?mt=8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Disaster Readiness&lt;/a&gt; app via phoneflips&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.edgerift.com/products/emergencyradio/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Emergency Radio&lt;/a&gt; app via EdgeRift  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to everyday milestones and how to prepare consider &lt;a href=&quot;http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/parenting-ages-stages/id374398508?mt=8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ages and Stages&lt;/a&gt; from Parenting.com&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure these links will go out of date eventually so for a general response try these steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Think though upcoming events and consider social and natural sources of risk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make a plan and discuss it with your family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reach out to community resources for help, and support them in return.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Practice and revise your plan periodically to make sure it still works.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-06-27T22:21:51.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-06-27T23:20:31.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you what helped teach me. I had a BMX style bike with training wheels... I could not ride it worth anything without the training wheels. They are made for older kids with different centers of gravity. When I tried on a bike with a smaller form factor, I got it and in no time, I was able to adapt my new found skills riding a larger bike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="732" LastActivityDate="2011-06-27T23:20:31.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2104" CreationDate="2011-06-28T04:15:13.740" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can think of a few possibilities.  One is that some babies prefer some brands; mine did not like anything but Nuk brand pacifiers.  It surprised me; I know kids learn brands cause they're bombarded by advertising, but I didn't think it started THAT young.  Another possibility is that your baby just doesn't like/want pacis.  I don't know if I'd push it in that case, unless perhaps you're flying and want the baby to suck on something to help pop his ears.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other possibility I can think of is that there is some kind of tongue-tie or palate issue.  From my experience on blogs and message boards for women who could not breastfeed, I have discovered that problems with the baby's mouth structure are surprisingly under-diagnosed.  Here is some info on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tonguetie.net/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;tongue tie&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mother-2-mother.com/nipplepain.htm#HighPalate&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;high palate&lt;/a&gt;, although finding info on high palate outside breastfeeding blogs seems to be a bit difficult.  I'd bring it up with the baby's pediatrician on the off chance that the baby has some sort of issue with his mouth.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-28T04:15:13.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="761" CreationDate="2011-06-28T05:14:57.027" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your attitude kind of concerns me.  A 2.5 year old doesn't have the skills to deal with a gang of older relatives bullying him.  Instead of asking what your child should be doing, if I were you, I'd be asking what in the world the cousins' parents are teaching them that it's okay to take toys and especially food from a baby.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of teaching him not to rely on externals, I'm concerned that you're teaching him that he's thrown to the wolves, and his response is going to be to become a bully himself.  If he is constantly picked on with no one teaching him that it's wrong, and the only one who experiences consequences is himself (he learns how to cope with the situation but no one tells the older kids off) then he's going to learn that bullies come out ahead.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I'd make darn sure an adult was with him all the time, because obviously the other children in your family are not mature enough to show a shred of common courtesy to someone smaller than them.  You have a responsibility to your child above whatever else is currently distracting you from being present to ensure your child is not physically harmed.  Your child has a SCAR from a bite from a family member, for heaven's sake.  There is something seriously wrong with these other children and their parents for thinking this is acceptable.  You have a responsibility to protect your child from abuse.  Whether that abuse comes from another adult, or another child.  Especially when there's a track record of lasting physical harm.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, as an assistant martial arts instructor, I'd suggest checking out a Tot Kwon Do program at your local park district; some dojangs also teach them.  They are typically designed for short toddler attention spans and teach the basics of learning the parts of the body, responding to instruction, and general coordination and focus.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I think even this will not truly solve the situation; at best this would be something you'd do alongside telling the parents of the other kids to teach their children not to be bullies.  Your child needs help, not a &quot;sink or swim&quot; lesson, before he gains more scars from more abuse.  Your child doesn't have a problem; the other children do.  You have a right to say something about it as the parent of a child who bears a permanent mark from this problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-28T05:14:57.027" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1654" CreationDate="2011-06-28T05:25:38.080" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've used public transportation in the Chicago area with a stroller.  It was possibly more fun than a root canal, but barely.  If you can avoid the stroller, by all means do so.  However, carrying a baby around in a carrier all day seems impractical to me, especially if you're seeing some of our excellent museums.  It may be anatomically dangerous for the baby as TorbenGB pointed out, but even with our awesome baby carrier (Fisher Price one that settles the baby's weight across your hips), I doubt I could have carried our little peanut child at 7 months in it for too long without anatomical damage to &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; back.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest traveling as light as humanly possible with a stroller that folds up very quickly, as you won't be able to just wheel the stroller on your typical bus, and the trains can be so packed it's nearly impossible.  Most Metra trains have a couple tiny sections for wheelchairs AND bikes and they fill up fast.  They say things are ADA compliant but I have a family member who uses a wheelchair and will tell you that ADA compliant is so minimally accessible as to be almost worthless.  The sidewalks in most areas downtown are wide and can easily accommodate strollers but many of the buildings are only marginally wheelchair accessible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And while the people of Chicago are awesome, you can always run into a bad bunch of tourists who will, say, try to ninja your van cab on you even though they can fit perfectly well in a car cab, even though they see you have a stroller with you.  Not that I've had personal experience with such a thing, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-28T05:25:38.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1698" CreationDate="2011-06-28T05:31:09.150" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found it very difficult to find reliable information about formula because even the mere mention of the word is often denounced by breastfeeding activists as a &quot;booby trap&quot; that precludes breastfeeding.  Given the push to increase breastfeeding rates, I've found that even pediatricians don't have a lot of good information, so I have had to really look to find a ped that is supportive of someone who can't breastfeed.  Formula companies are restricted in how they can promote their product in many countries (again to avoid booby traps) so it's very difficult to compare products beyond the content of their packaging.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend tooling around &lt;a href=&quot;http://fearlessformulafeeder.blogspot.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Fearless Formula Feeder's blog&lt;/a&gt; for some info.  She is a &quot;factivist&quot; who feels that breastfeeding is great for those who can do it, but that the research about it is very poor and doesn't support overblown conclusions.  She's delved into some of the issues of nutrition in formula, particularly DHA and ARA, and other questions like yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastEditorUserId="1179" LastEditDate="2011-06-29T18:45:44.900" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T18:45:44.900" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2120" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-28T07:41:59.880" Score="15" ViewCount="7124" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is two and a half years old and is not in general of the violent type. However he regularly enjoys showing &quot;cruelty&quot;. By that I mean that regularly when he &quot;by accident&quot; (let's stay positive) hits someone or some stuffed animal and we tell him that he shouldn't do it, or to be careful because it hurts, he just laughs and starts doing it even more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This never escalates very far since we don't let him continue for long, but it still worries me that he seems to enjoy so much somebody else's pain. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="115" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-04T08:29:22.143" LastActivityDate="2016-04-30T21:32:22.207" Title="How to react to &quot;cruelty&quot; of a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2105" CreationDate="2011-06-28T08:51:10.493" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have taken our kids camping since they were born, and are just about to go again with a 6 week old baby.  I'd always just advise to keep an eye on them; you know what your kid is like, how they are behaving, and if they appear not to be acting normal, then I'd be looking at why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tips would be to keep them in shade and give them lots of fluids.  We have never had issues with them using these maxims.  Someone had said, ensure you have them liberally coated with sun screen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just don't be scared.  You know your children, so you'll know if they are acting against 'their' norm, and that's when you should be alarmed.  we use a natural repellent and our kids usually become feral staying out until very late cycling and messing about with other kids. Camping is just plain wholesome fun for kids. Go for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We took our two week old to the beach last week and it was a wonderful success.  We all had a great day and are now looking forward to camping in August in Portugal, Spain and France when she will be 6 weeks old.  As I said before, as long as you take precautions as to heat and the associated risks to heat, you'll be fine.  My wife is breastfeeding and we have a nice umbrella for her to sit under while she does it.  On the Atlantic coast, so there was a lovely breeze.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take baby wipes and a good supply of fresh water, and something to take your rubbish away with you (you'll collect quite  a bit).  Take a few beach blankets in case you want to change one.  We also have a lovely reflective beach tent for the baby.  You should also be aware that in the shade, with a stiff breeze, the baby can get cold too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:06:53.603" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:06:53.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2120" CreationDate="2011-06-28T17:56:24.087" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my twins is like this too. I don't think he's intentionally cruel, I think he's just expressing himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday, he smacked me really hard in the face and then grinned. I said &quot;ouch&quot; (because it really hurt). I asked if he wanted to make it better. He didn't, but his twin did (kissed it and hugged me). I think that made a difference because he stopped smiling and seemed to think a bit about it. I don't expect the behaviour to change overnight, but its a good step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've ready many books on the subject and this is really common toddler behavior. It will pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1238" LastEditorUserId="14546" LastEditDate="2016-04-19T19:09:26.430" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T19:09:26.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="275" CreationDate="2011-06-28T18:02:06.050" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;and keep in mind that he may not fully understand at that age and perhaps move the books or block them off until he does. &#xA;Try redirection (make sure he has shelves of books he can take and 'read') or show him, each time how to take down one book and then put it back before taking another.&#xA;My guys went through this stage (with their own books) but with constant reinforcement of how to handle and treat books when they were open to it or rediction when they weren't, they now take down books, one at a time, read it and put it back (most of the time, there are small exceptions). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1238" LastActivityDate="2011-06-28T18:02:06.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2105" CreationDate="2011-06-28T19:20:50.973" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;taking our son camping at this age was one of the best things we did because we found it really relaxing - honestly. After a few days you realise that routines that seems all important at home, just don;t matter.  But its as well to be aware of that before you start. Especially around sleep routines - light, noise being in the middle of things mean that night time sleep is likely to be reduced, so you'll probably end up with more naps - but that's fine, there's nothing to stop anyone having a nap when they need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the swimming there are flotation vests which are not lifejackets (we bought one called 'splashabout' obviously you still need to be right beside them but they give amazing water confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1110" LastActivityDate="2011-06-28T19:20:50.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="51" CreationDate="2011-06-28T20:35:04.573" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like you, our son reacted to time out (naughty step) as if it was fun. I don't think he did enjoy it, I think he was pushing back at us - indicating that he didn't accept the power we were exerting. It made me think about punishment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book 'How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk' says that punishment can distract from learning (which is the goal) because when you are punished you remember the punishment (and potentially your sense of its injustice) more than the lesson associated with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its important to set consistent boundaries, but its better to confirm these with natural consequence rather than enforce them with punishment. So if the child is behaving badly in a game, end the game. Also, you have to 'catch them being good' as well - make sure you notice and praise good behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, I've found it a difficult approach, but a focus on punishment (and not physical punishment) just made the behaviour worse. I'm happier with my son now and happier with myself - at least most days! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1110" LastActivityDate="2011-06-28T20:35:04.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2126" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2127" CreationDate="2011-06-29T03:27:18.147" Score="9" ViewCount="1336" Body="&lt;p&gt;My DH works in Alaska 6 months out of the year.  His schedule is 3 weeks in Alaska 3 weeks at home.  When he is home he is not on call or working at all and spends a good part of his time off at home with our boys.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now our twin boys are 16 months old. His schedule is rough on all of us but really is the best job for him and his career.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for ideas, suggestions, and recommendations on how to handle this lifestyle as the boys get older.  I need to find a good way to keep this from it being a crushing blow every time he has to leave and the boys wake up in the morning with Daddy gone for 3 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&#xA;Just to clarify.  I am looking forward to the future and how to plan ahead for when the boys are older and have to go from playing with daddy all day everyday to not seeing him at all for 3 weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:01:06.887" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T21:01:06.887" Title="How do we handle one parent frequently being out-of-town for weeks at a time?" Tags="|working-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2126" CreationDate="2011-06-29T04:27:42.650" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former military wife, I had to work through this stuff with my son, too.  The most important things you can do are to help them understand what's going on, provide a connection to Daddy when he's gone, maintain consistent routines and expectations, and give your kids a sense of control over things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep a family calendar so they can see when Daddy is leaving and returning, holidays, and other events important to the family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When Daddy is gone, do a video chat as often as possible (letter-writing and phone calls are fine if that's all you have access to, but video is even better for toddlers).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When Daddy is gone, help the kids collect and/or list things they want to show him, do with him, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep the same bedtime, discipline, etc. at home whether Daddy is around or not.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't hide things from the kids, &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt;.  It may seem like you are avoiding an argument by not telling them Daddy might be delayed or something, but it leads to more pain in the long run for both you and the kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Never&lt;/em&gt; let your husband give your boys the &quot;you are the man of the house while I'm gone&quot; speech.  I've seen kids seriously traumatized when something bad happens they couldn't stop.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do encourage your husband to leave something special with the kids to take care of while he's gone, or give them a small job.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's okay, even preferable, to let your kids see that you miss Daddy, too.  Your example teaches them how to deal with those feelings.  In the families where mom tried to pretend that she felt 100% perfect at all times, the kids tended to have really unrealistic expectations for themselves and not no what to do when putting on a brave face didn't work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remember that since things have been this way since your children were infants, this &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; their normal.  As long as you keep the kids' worlds dependable -- it's not necessary that everything always go according to plan, just that they can depend on how you and your husband will react when it doesn't -- that'll be fine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your family's own special rituals will emerge on their own if you are doing all these things, and they'll be a source of comfort and stability for all. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T04:27:42.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2120" CreationDate="2011-06-29T04:36:04.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two and a half is still young. It may just take a lot of repetition to help him gain some empathy for the people he hurts. I don't suggest making a big deal about the toys, but I think that each time he hurts a person it's an opportunity to help him understand that he hurt someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't recommend this to anyone, but more than one parent has suggested to me that when a child of any age bites you bite them back immediately. The theory is that you have a tiny window in the child's mind to associate what they just did with how it feels to have it happen to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't suggest taking the advice literally, but I did have luck reacting very quickly when my child did something that hurt us or someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="207" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T04:36:04.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2104" CreationDate="2011-06-29T04:52:10.993" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should ask your pediatrician about gagging.  The great news is that while they are a handy invention, babies were fine before pacifiers existed.  Suckling instincts can be satisfied by suckling, and they're likely suck a thumb for a while regardless of pacifier use, so that is something you'll have to deal with eventually either way.  Listening to the issues of families that used pacifiers (including the children &quot;requiring&quot; it before they are able to return it to the mouth themselves, and later weaning), I'm glad I didn't bother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T04:52:10.993" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2105" CreationDate="2011-06-29T05:15:48.757" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We camped a little with infants.  I enjoyed it more than my wife did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for swimming, I have taught hundreds of kids how to swim and I take water safety very seriously.  You should learn to swim and about water safety if you want to keep your child safe near the water.  You should take precautions such as having yourself and your child properly wear certified life-jackets in boats, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stay near the lifeguards.  Stay in arms reach of the child.  You'll be able to keep the child safe in the shallows in calm water where the child can stand, even as a non-swimmer.  Again, since you are a non-swimmer, if the waves are moderate, have the child use a standard youth life jacket with a tube or flap behind the head and half or more of the flotation on the front, so they will float to the back if anything goes wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T05:15:48.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-06-29T09:22:42.117" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a qualified child developmentalist, I also treat children who have developmental disabilities, including language and communication impairments in children.  It is perfectly normal for a child to pass through a stage where they stutter, - the overwhelming majority of children do so.  As long as there are no other developmental symptoms and the stuttering lasts no more than a few months, then you have nothing to fear.  You allude to the cause yourself when you say that his vocabulary is expanding and his mouth can't keep up! - Not couched in technical terms, but I like it and it hits the nail on the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T09:22:42.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-06-29T11:54:27.757" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son had a similar issue around his 2nd birthday, where he often repeated the first syllable(s) of a sentence 5.. 8 times and then said the word completely&#xA;(often but not necessarily in situations where he was excited or nervous).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not an expert for development of children and their ability to talk, but I consider him quite ahead for his age (also at that time) concerning his ability to express himself and quite complex things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found a &lt;strong&gt;national organisation&lt;/strong&gt; which supports parents (in Germany: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bvss.de/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.bvss.de/&lt;/a&gt; &lt;em&gt;Bundesvereinigung Stotterer-Selbsthilfe e.V.&lt;/em&gt; ). They offered a &lt;em&gt;free telephone hotline&lt;/em&gt; at certain dates where we got some advice and they sent us material (brochures etc.) and addresses of speech therapists in our region via mail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The speech therapist on the hotline asked me several questions about the nature and frequency of the &quot;stuttering&quot;.&#xA;She also wanted to know if the child itself seemed to be &lt;strong&gt;frustrated&lt;/strong&gt; about its inability to speak &quot;directly&quot;, which was not the case from our point of view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The essence of her (the speech therapist's) advice was:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In 80% of the cases, this is a normal part of speech development (in my words: &quot;if the brain is faster than the mouth&quot;) which disappears on its own.&#xA;As in our case there was only &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; of the several possible symptoms of stuttering, the speech therapist advised us to &lt;strong&gt;observe the development for about 6 weeks&lt;/strong&gt; considering the following &lt;strong&gt;aspects&lt;/strong&gt; and then call again, in case the symptoms have not disappeared or even get worse for further advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Aspects to consider:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;does the number of repeated syllables increase or decrease over time?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;does the &quot;tension&quot; of the child increase?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;does his frustration increase?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do additional symptoms appear?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is the stuttering dependent on time/situation/number of persons.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What parents can do:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;unburden&quot; the child: parents should talk more to the child and less often request the child to speak (e. g. after reading a story before going to bed not asking the child to retell the story, but just wait if it wants to do it on his own)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be patient and give the child time for speaking (not interrupting it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;say verses or sing songs with the child together as they often are easier to pronounce than &quot;normal&quot; sentences &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;speak slowly &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;well, we waited for some weeks and the phenomenon disappeared.&#xA;Our son is now 3,5 years old and from time to time, there is a little &quot;stuttering&quot; (repeating some first syllables) but we consider that quite normal as he's talking a lot and also says quite difficult sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-06-29T20:10:30.113" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T20:10:30.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2089" CreationDate="2011-06-29T13:55:15.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a non-natural product option I would suggest researching regular detergents that are made fragrance free and/or are specifically for people with sensitive skin.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My doctor actually recommended staying away from Dreft and other products specifically made for babies.  They have fragrances and chemicals in them that may negatively affect babies skin.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T13:55:15.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2134" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-06-29T15:06:23.267" Score="2" ViewCount="5799" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just got the supply list for my son's class, and figured this year I would buy school supplies well in advanced instead of hustling through Walmart and Target 3 days before the first day of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it generally worth buying school supplies online, when it comes to price and time?  If so, is Amazon pretty much the best bet in pricing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Looking for answers from people that have done it before and their opinion with regards to just buying it in person.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1241" LastEditorUserId="1241" LastEditDate="2011-06-29T17:06:15.673" LastActivityDate="2014-09-17T12:23:13.327" Title="Is buying school supplies online worth it?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2014-09-18T06:07:26.970" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2134" CreationDate="2011-06-29T15:22:53.960" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with buying items online. You should be just as careful as buying stuff online as you are buying them in-person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find that you have much, much more choices online than you do in store. You might be able to find stuff cheaper; however, do consider shipping charges. Depending on how much you're planning to buy, you will be eligible for free shipping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Amazon is just as fine as any other place to start. You can also just google 'school supplies online' and see if you can find cheaper websites. Have you ever purchased anything online before? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T15:22:53.960" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="455" CreationDate="2011-06-29T19:06:09.873" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We went through two pediatricians before finding the one we are using now.  The first bullied and belittled me because as it turned out, I could not breastfeed.  The second wasn't bad but the others in his practice were awful and he rarely had office hours in our location.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look at your plans about feeding, figure that they may change (they did for me!), and ask your potential ped how s/he feels about breastfeeding (including pumping) and formula.  Even then, you may not get an accurate assessment.  Our 1st made it clear he was a lactivist, but not to the point where he would refuse to answer our phone calls because we had to switch to formula--we had to learn that on our own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Figure out where you stand on vaccinating.  Ask the doctor his/her opinions.  Don't pick one that belittles you.  S/He may disagree with you to an extent, but should also be aware that it is your child and you are the final decision-maker on such things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the doctor about child nutrition, and whether they have a relationship with a nutritionist.  If your child has allergies, you may need one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the doctor about allergies in general, if the practice treats many kids with allergies or if they would refer out to a pediatric allergist.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring a general family medical history for both sides, and ask the doctor a few questions about pertinent conditions that run in the family--e.g. asthma, poor eyesight, hearing troubles, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you use alternative medicine (e.g. chiropractic, acupuncture, massage, etc.) get a feel for how the doctor feels about these things, in case you feel the need to use them for your child.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Figure out the doctor's office hours at that location.  If there aren't many, consider interviewing the doctor's other colleagues, lest you end up like we did with our second ped and have to find another practice because the colleagues shouldn't be licensed to practice medicine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a general vibe of the office.  Is it clean?  Comfortable?  Full of sick kids getting snot everywhere?  You may be spending a lot of time here.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a general vibe for the staff.  If they look really busy, consider another practice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask about other doctors in the practice or on call if it's a solo practitioner.  As in, there should be others.  We had problems with our second ped because of this.  His colleague on call was a total quack.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask about an answering service.  As in, there should be one.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask about getting a child in for a sick visit same day.  You should generally be able to do this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the receptionist a few questions, but not as an interview--just in casual conversation.  The receptionist is the gateway to the doctor.  If you don't like him/her, even if it's just in response to how they feel about the weather, consider a different practice. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Of course, consider the opinions of others and even places like Yelp.  But everyone's priorities are different; our first ped was highly recommended and yet he was a total jerk who disregarded my baby's health because he was taking my medical history and its impact on breastfeeding out on me. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T19:06:09.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2120" CreationDate="2011-06-29T19:11:28.543" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is younger (15 months now) and is very personable.  However, she is not quite firm on the concept of &quot;owch&quot; as a bad thing (we're working on this, mostly through lots of repetition).  I don't think the frontal lobe of her brain is developed enough to understand that &quot;sad faces&quot; mean real harm to another person.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your child is a bit older, I'd suggest bringing it up to your pediatrician.  In general, I believe in fast action and not letting things escalate because a child's attention span is tiny and they can't associate punishment or reward with an action if you let too much lag go between the two.  So it sounds like you're doing something right there.  However, your pediatrician has probably seen many children who have this issue and might have some good suggestions for instilling a sense of empathy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T19:11:28.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="452" CreationDate="2011-06-29T19:25:05.177" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child may have good rhythm but lack the motor skills to express it by clapping or bouncing in exact time to the beat.  I'd suggest not only the suggestions above, which focus on musical development, but also activities that encourage motor development in general.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://extension.missouri.edu/publications/DisplayPub.aspx?P=GH6113#encourage&quot;&gt;This page talks about motor development and gives some suggestions on activities.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, I think you're doing the right thing by encouraging her to learn about all sorts of sounds.  I think it's important to do that and to encourage as much listening to different kinds of music as possible.  It doesn't have to be all Mozart.  Music in foreign languages can get her used to hearing many kinds of sounds and speech rhythms as well, even if you or she can't understand the words themselves.  Language itself can be beautiful music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one consideration for either listening to music or making noise is for your daughter's ears; I have a relative with hearing loss from a young age and so am very sensitive to the need to protect the ears of young children from excessively loud noise. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childrenscolorado.org/wellness/info/news/61219.aspx&quot;&gt;This page has some great info about preventing hearing loss in children.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-29T19:25:05.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2120" CreationDate="2011-06-30T00:09:05.707" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you need to focus on eliminating the inappropriate behavior. Apply negative consequences immediately, without a warning and without an initial &quot;freebie&quot;. Make sure that the consequence is tied to a specific unacceptable behavior. IOW, punish for &quot;hitting&quot; or &quot;shouting&quot; not for &quot;being mean&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, pay more attention to the behaviors and what prompts them. Try and figure out if there is any pattern, or if the acting out is in response to you somehow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are not able to get the &quot;cruel&quot; behaviors to stop in a few months, you likely want to talk to your pediatrician and perhaps get the child evaluated for other issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T00:09:05.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2134" CreationDate="2011-06-30T00:27:41.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why not get them now?  You can get a few items each week and not have the budget crunch in late August. And you can avoid the back-to-school craziness in the stores. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are seriously frugal (as I am), then I suspect not. I have found the best place to get the standard school supplies (pencils, pens, paper, notebooks, folders, etc.) is the local &quot;dollar store&quot; or equivalent. You could try eBay for the specialty items that you can't find in the dollar store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T00:27:41.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="589" CreationDate="2011-06-30T04:00:30.697" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A three-year-old could be experiencing breathing difficulties but lack the verbiage to talk about them or the awareness to realize they are difficulties.  Given that you haven't paid any attention to it in the past, and he's still doing it, it could either be a bad habit or indicative of some condition.  Asthma is a concern, but how about: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;seasonal allergies?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pet allergies?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;allergies to dust?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;allergies to a cleaning agent used in your home? (e.g. I was horribly allergic to Pine Sol as a kid.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any of those things could cause mucus, which might cause a child to breathe oddly.  Of course one of the earlier commentators mentioned an obsessive-compulsive tendency as a possibility too.  It's good to gather some questions to ask your child's doctor; prior to the appointment you may want to assess your family history for all the things listed in these answers so the doctor can either rule them out or consider them as possibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T04:00:30.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1886" CreationDate="2011-06-30T04:21:56.777" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is entirely based on my experience so your mileage may vary, and it's not at all scientific.  I felt I knew some aspects of my child's personality while she was still in my womb.  I knew she would be strong and stubborn because of the way she kicked.  I love my baby to the hilt but she's been stubborn since the day she was born.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, babies in the womb spend a lot of time sleeping.  Chances are, your baby is sleeping during an ultrasound.  They recommended I drink orange juice 1 hr - 1/2 hr before the ultrasound, figuring that the natural sugar would wake her up.  It didn't work once (she slept the whole time and had her body turned so we couldn't see her face) but worked well the second time, although the second u/s she was asleep for some of it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd ask your wife what her sense of the baby is, but not put too much stock in what the ultrasound shows to guess how extroverted or active the baby will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T04:21:56.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2041" CreationDate="2011-06-30T08:12:18.877" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There can be many reasons a child might develop sleeping problems, but fortunately there are also many ways in which sleep can be influenced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a neurochemical level, when we sleep, our brain detects that darkness is approaching and serotonin is converted into melatonin, which enables us to sleep, in the morning, as the brain detects light, the melatonin is reabsorbed and we wake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first principle then is to reinforce this cycle.  Ensure that your son is exposed to early morning light and that he goes to bed in a dimply lit room, or if possible in darkness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also ways in which we can load our brains with serotonin, (and therefore melatonin) before sleep.  A good one is natural cherry juice, - this is packed with serotonin.  Another trick is to make his last meal one which has foods which are packed with tryptophan, (the amino acid in our food which Serotonin is made out of) and carbohydrates. (Carbs help the absorption of tryptophan).  So patotoes, bread etc are good sources of carbohydrates and turkey, chicken etc are excellent sources of tryptophan. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other trick is to artificially raise the core temperature of his body, by giving him a warm bath immediately before bedtime and then sending him to bed in a nice cool bedroom.  This will ensure that the artificially created high core temperature of his body will drop quickly.  - The brain takes the dropping of our core temperature as a sleep signal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T08:12:18.877" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1739" CreationDate="2011-06-30T09:43:55.090" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main issue here, for me, is that our kids are taught differently to us.  I used methodologies used in my education, and the teachers will use different ones, which can lead to confusion in the children.  So, in this instance, I think the line don't get involved, whilst harsh, and rude, is fairly on the money.  One thing I really do not like, is that teaching is often done by rote i.e. they are teaching not by learning methods, but by repeating rhymes (for wont of a better word).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I home school my kids in Maths, as I don't trust the modern methods over here, and as maths was a strong subject for me, I trust what I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T09:43:55.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1886" CreationDate="2011-06-30T13:19:42.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was very, &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; active during ultrasounds. It wasn't until roughly 7 months that we could even get a look at his face because he kept moving around so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, despite his rowdy pre-birth behavior, he's generally very calm and even-tempered.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Activity on ultrasound is not really an indication of personality, in my (admittedly limited) experience.  As Corvus Melori pointed out, babies spend a &lt;strong&gt;lot&lt;/strong&gt; of time sleeping before they are born, and you may have just been unlucky in the timing of your ultrasounds.  The juice trick she mentioned is an excellent idea, and may result in your baby being considerably more active.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T13:19:42.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="687" CreationDate="2011-06-30T14:01:46.983" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry but I have to disagree with Kevin based upon the evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Autism is generally diagnosed around the second birthday and as another poster said, there is a wide variation and severity of problems, which make a child at one end of the autistic spectrum very, very, different from a child at the other end of the spectrum.  The problems can not simply be explained in terms of &quot;behaviours&quot; like &quot;needing a math tutor&quot; - these are a set of problems caused by abnormal neuro-development.  It seems that in individuals who have autism, parts of the brain wire themselves together differently. - It now seems also that there can be various causes for this, one of which is genetic, but also autism can be caused by brain injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither are the problems caused by this abnormal wiring pattern just &quot;social,&quot; they are wide ranging.  The fact is that the majority of children who have autism also have some degree of learning difficulty; - some also have epilepsy; - many experience sensory processing difficulties, which then have the effect of producing obsessive, compulsive, defensive and other behaviours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to your point about being able to go several years without is being noticed, - with some very mild cases, possible.  There is a good book which describes many of the problems which are faced by autistic individuals, which you can find it &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/autism---a-short-guide/16105074&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T14:01:46.983" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1698" CreationDate="2011-06-30T14:20:39.560" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Surely the formula that most closely approximates human milk will be the best. The nutritional components of human milk are known so compare the two. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other consideration will be taste. Human milk tastes different depending on what the mother has eaten, when weaning children expect variation in flavour. So it could be wise to switch between formulas to replicate this slight change in taste (I can't imagine having only one flavour for six months)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1110" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T14:20:39.560" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2134" CreationDate="2011-06-30T14:37:54.613" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can often find cheaper supplies online throughout the year, especially with Amazon Prime, but the door-busting deals at Staples and Walmart before school starts usually beat out any of the online sales that I can find, especially with the coupons available in August.  You might get better deals on expensive items like computers and phones online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the actual products, it depends on how picky you are.  A pencil is a pencil but if you are particular about the texture of a folder you should probably buy it in person.  There is barcode scanning mobile device software for Amazon and other services that can allow you to price compare and buy immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-06-30T14:37:54.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2150" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-01T02:32:31.567" Score="6" ViewCount="1470" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/201/what-can-i-do-to-encourage-my-12-year-old-son-to-do-more-productive-things&quot;&gt;What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to do more productive things?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter, age 13, dominated the &quot;public children laptop&quot; which was meant to be shared with her younger brother. The summer finally came upon us, but she had gotten sucked into the laptop and spent almost all day on it; watching anime 60% of the time, playing the MMO runescape another 30% of the time; and otherwise skyping her friend from school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For better or worse, the laptop's screen was just cracked and is now virtually unusable. I see this as a good opportunity for her to go find a hobby, activity, etc. that she could really like or maybe even be passionate about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What i need are some sites, ideas, or books that will help her discover some new things to do that she will like to do more than watching anime. Any pointers?&lt;/strong&gt; Thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if this helps: she also likes to.....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Draw, and learn to draw from youtube&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make things out of colorful ductape&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spend time with friends about 2 days of the week&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be creative&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;NOT do anything requiring hand-eye coordination&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1245" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-14T22:39:28.453" LastActivityDate="2020-08-14T22:39:28.453" Title="How do I get my daughter to spend less time at the computer?" Tags="|pre-teen|activities|video-games|computer|screen-time|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2150" CreationDate="2011-07-01T02:53:24.927" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Automated parental control. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;you define:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;X hours a day max&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Range for those allowable hours a day (e.g. after 9am before 7pm)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Results:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids understand the system is automated&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No &quot;begging&quot; to parents for &quot;more time&quot;. PC cannot be persuaded to stray from protocol&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids find other things to occupy themselves with&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T02:53:24.927" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2150" CreationDate="2011-07-01T05:05:15.193" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good old fashioned taking the computer away is my first thought. Just be consistent with a time limit.  Kids hate never knowing when a parent is going to come in and say it seems like they've been on the computer &quot;long enough.&quot;  The guarantee of a minimum helps them accept an enforced maximum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for what to do instead, kids usually figure that out for themselves. A weekly trip to the library or a summer pass to the local public pool are some ideas for starters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T05:05:15.193" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2150" CreationDate="2011-07-01T05:11:06.780" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check out your local community college pre-teen and kids' non-credit courses.  Sit down with your daughter to see if any spark her interest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check out your park district classes.  See if any interest her.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check out your local library; ours has monthly anime/manga fan meetups and people come in routinely to teach how to draw in various cartooning styles.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're religious, see if your local place of worship has a youth group that does interesting activities (e.g. some have weekly meetings or events where the kids get together for sports, arts and crafts, or volunteering)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;See if you can find a charity in the area that is looking for volunteers.  Nursing homes and vets' hospitals often are looking for young people to just sit with the vets and do arts and crafts.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really suggest the community college route if yours is anything like our local one.  I have a sister who started learning Photoshop 1.0 at age 11 and is now a professional graphics designer--all because of a community college pre-teen class.  It sounds like perhaps some direction for her creativity is in order.  Many community colleges and park districts have classes on everything from film to animation to drawing anime-style.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Community colleges often have resources beyond your usual &quot;arts and crafts&quot; section of your typical big box store.  Our local community college offers courses in everything from woodworking to creating stop-motion animation and making holograms.  By the same token, our park district has some pretty nice resources too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also check out a basic programming class for kids her age; if she spends a lot of time on the computer, perhaps a class that helps her design a simple MUD or similar game would pique her interest.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, volunteering might help her feel good about herself by using her talents to help others, and simultaneously help her be more selfless (since you mentioned she was being a little selfish with the computer).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T05:11:06.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="845" CreationDate="2011-07-01T05:12:47.030" Score="5" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To keep her warm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To keep other people from touching her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(Rarely) To help her sleep, parrot-style.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, I try to keep things open for my baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T05:12:47.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2105" CreationDate="2011-07-01T05:33:25.730" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One concern I have about bring my baby in wooded areas is ticks.  Babycenter.com has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_tick-bites_11232.bc?page=2#articlesection3&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;great article&lt;/a&gt; about ticks, Lyme disease, and ways to use repellent.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the baby is 11 mo and breastfed a bit with solids the rest of the time, I'd be sure to use proper food safety techniques--which you should be doing anyway for everyone else.  While spoiled food is no laughing matter for anyone, anything that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_food-poisoning_1201239.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;causes diarrhea and/or vomiting is particularly serious in small children&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a friend whose sister drowned while camping.  Her mother had turned her back for one minute to help one of her other kids and the toddler got swept away by a very gentle current.  The others who said infant/toddler drowning is very quiet are absolutely right.  I cannot stress enough how crucial it is to ensure that you are holding onto the baby if she goes into the water, and that the baby is wearing the proper gear to help keep her afloat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd talk to both the baby's pediatrician and someone at a sporting goods store--preferably a good store and to someone who isn't just a local high school kid.  I would insist that she wears this gear if she is anywhere near a source of water, and that someone is holding onto her somehow at all times.  It is easy for others to laugh your concerns off, but trust me when I say that my friend's mother was horribly affected by her baby's death many, many years after it happened.  If you plan on making camping a regular thing, I'd suggest something like toddler swimming classes; some info can be found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.infantswim.com/news-and-events/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T05:33:25.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-07-01T05:54:59.003" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your pediatrician may not be specific enough to be particularly helpful.  I'd suggest: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making a food diary.  List the food, portion size, and time of day.  Perhaps you think your child is eating more than she actually is.  (It's a pain in the rear at first but you get used to it; my parents had to do this for me because of allergies and it becomes second nature pretty fast.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taking a long, close look at family history--on your side and her mother's.  Were all the babies lean/skinny/tall/underweight/small-framed on one side of the family?  My baby's a peanut but on my husband's side, many of his female relatives have a small frame, so we're not too concerned.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making a consultation appointment to sit down and discuss just this topic.  Bring a notebook with questions pre-written down, and take copious notes.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the pediatrician isn't being specific/helpful enough, look for another pediatrician.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting a referral to a pediatric nutritionist.  Preferably someone who can get your baby on prescription supplements if necessary (e.g. a nutritionist who works with a doctor, or one who is legally licensed to prescribe)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know how concerning it is when your child seems on the low end of the bell curve, weight-wise.   Fortunately, right now our ped isn't concerned (she said SOMEONE's gotta be on the skinny end of that curve!) but I've been cheering every bit of weight gain I can get.  My baby looks healthy and is very active, but I think it's just normal parenting paranoia to be a little concerned in the back of your mind.  I wish you the best of luck and hope you can get some solutions soon!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T05:54:59.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2011-07-01T06:16:35.180" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a child, I read books from the UK, and my mom just made a little arch over the &quot;u&quot; in &quot;Mum&quot; to make it &quot;Mom.&quot;  Sometimes little corrections like that may be necessary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time I was 12, I read books my dad brought back from his trips to the UK, and loved learning a different way of spelling.  To this day, however, I spell some things &quot;wrong&quot; for the US, and don't realize it until spellcheck corrects me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, the internet has no borders and many jobs nowadays require knowledge of, and sensitivity to, other countries' means of spelling.  It's a fine line to walk, and 4 years old is definitely an age to &quot;keep it simple, stupid.&quot;  I'd try to avoid conflicting English for now (even if you have to edit your child's books), and whenever you can't avoid it, try to turn it into a very short, very simple geography or history lesson.  Bear in mind that sometimes adults overly complicate things; a simple &quot;people spell things differently in other countries, but we should get used to the way we do it here first&quot; might suffice.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always expand this into teaching more about the grey (or gray) areas of life later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T06:16:35.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2158" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2160" CreationDate="2011-07-01T10:44:13.387" Score="4" ViewCount="18473" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our infant is now 8 weeks old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When his legs are joined together the scrotum hangs through them and below the legs (can be seen  below his bum). The doctor says it's fine but others who've seen him say he has a larger scrotum and we need to consult someone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I dont know what problems this might signify and what other questions I should be asking the doctor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this reduce over time ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1246" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:39:31.133" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T03:04:35.843" Title="Is my infant boy's scrotum too large?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-07-01T12:00:21.840" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I taught my oldest son to a ride a bike by getting him on his bike (with training wheels) regularly, with a goal of at least once a day.  I made sure he knew how to use the brake to control his speed so that he could build confidence without letting the bike get away from him on hills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he improved and started leaning into turns he actually bent his training wheels upward.  He was afraid to bike without them so I just started bending them myself every few days until they were bent 45 degrees, halfway between their original position and being completely vertical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still didn't want them removed when I took them off but he was clearly ready to bike without them, so I took them off and ran along beside him the first time he rode without them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then entire process only took a week or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE:  This weekend I saw a child riding a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stridersports.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Strider bike&lt;/a&gt; which is basically a bicycle with no pedals.  It seemed like a much better way to learn than training wheels as he could learn to balance a bike while shuffling along with his feet and coasting down hills.  I believe there are other, similar bikes for small children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1247" LastEditorUserId="1247" LastEditDate="2012-08-16T18:35:01.350" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T18:35:01.350" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2158" CreationDate="2011-07-01T13:14:19.620" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why should this be a problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're really concerned, just get another doctor's opinion...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="524" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T13:14:19.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2158" CreationDate="2011-07-01T14:57:58.177" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;those &quot;others&quot; you mention? are they doctors? do they just state a fact &quot;it's large&quot;? I believe the doctor was aware of this and he said it's nothing to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, your peace of mind is important too. Get him to another doctor or two, hear their opinions -- research on the internet too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T14:57:58.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="410" CreationDate="2011-07-01T21:03:18.037" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to know what effect watching cartoon violence will have on your children, you need look no further than yourself.  As you said, you watched Tom &amp;amp; Jerry and Looney Tunes as a kid and you loved it.  But you don't seem to have even remembered all the cartoon violence, (let alone been turned into a violent person by it,) or it wouldn't surprise you when you watched it now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="475" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T21:03:18.037" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2011-07-01T21:12:28.470" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One element to add to the discussion. When steering a bicycle (and motorcycle) you must look where you want to go for steering to function naturally. Whereever you are looking you will tend to aim the bike at. If you are looking where you don't want to go (at the thing that scares you) you will hit it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-07-01T21:12:28.470" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2165" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2166" CreationDate="2011-07-02T02:29:51.017" Score="8" ViewCount="92690" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read in many places that I should burp my baby for 5-10 minutes after feeding What I'm wondering is if it's ok to stop once the baby gives a nice loud burp, even if that was only a few seconds? Where does the 5-10 minute number come from? My interpretation would be &quot;until a big loud burp or 5-10 minutes if you don't hear one&quot;. Thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:38:05.673" LastActivityDate="2016-10-17T04:20:57.020" Title="Is one big burp enough after feeding my infant?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2165" CreationDate="2011-07-02T06:32:27.170" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The point is to get the air out that the infant sucks into the stomach while feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Any burp is enough.&lt;/strong&gt; It can be one big one, a few small ones. If none is heard within something like 10 minutes, then you can assume that it just slowly evaporated over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my son, he usually burped either immediately or within a minute or so, but sometimes also not until he got a fresh diaper (I'm guessing the change in orientation helped). Sometimes he didn't burp at all, but was fine anyway. But we tried to be aware to not put him in bed before having burped, or before waiting a while at least. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-02T13:13:42.090" LastActivityDate="2011-07-02T13:13:42.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2120" CreationDate="2011-07-02T07:45:26.543" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow... I'm surprised that nobody suggested spanking him...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spare the rod, spoil the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you give him a good spanking for hitting, I'm pretty sure he'll get the point. Don't be scared to show your child discipline, it means that you love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; Giving my child a spanking works great. My kids know that I mean business when I ask them or tell them to do something. I only have to ask once. Spanking has created a very understanding relationship between me and my son. I get screaming praises from him every morning when I crawl out of bed. He's 4. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're having problems with the timeout chair not working, that doesn't surprise me at all. Maybe you should think about spanking your child. They've done it for thousands of years and no child has grown a complex from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's only in the last 50 years that society has gotten ignorant, thinking that they know best and somehow spanking is child abuse. Quite literally ridiculous if you ask me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastEditorUserId="969" LastEditDate="2011-07-05T16:45:24.960" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T16:45:24.960" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1053" CreationDate="2011-07-02T13:37:46.447" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I think that we're getting slightly off the original subject here.  &quot;What disorder is associated with social awkwardness, hugging, intelligence, and difficulty focusing?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was young, under the age of 9, I vaguely remember my mother always yelling at me to leave people alone...to stop hugging everyone I saw, to not talk to total strangers, to quit fidgeting in social settings, to pay attention and listen, and there were times she would have to walk up to me and smack me on the back of the head to get my attention because I never heard her even talking to me until I was smacked...amongst other many issues I had and have to deal with on a moment by moment basis for the rest of my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;~ What disorder is associated with social awkwardness, hugging, intelligence, and difficulty focusing? ~&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the main issue, not if the answer to it is correct or not, as only a psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor should be the judge of the symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1249" LastActivityDate="2011-07-02T13:37:46.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1053" CreationDate="2011-07-03T07:36:36.397" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's difficult to give any definite indication over the internet, but the symptoms you describe are all found in Asperger's syndrome.  The problem is that they could all equally be symptoms of other disorders too.  Social awkawardness is a feature of Asperger's, but is experienced by many people, including myself and certainly could be a response to 'sensory processing disorder.' Similarly the 'hugging' which again could be a feature of Asperger's, could also be a self - stimulatory' response to a need for tactile stimulation which again is a feature of sensory processing disorder. Difficulty focussing again might be incorporated into a diagnosis of Asperger's but is also seen in children who have AD(H)D.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a child neuro-developmentalist and trust me, the only way to truly find out is to get a professional assessment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-19T12:48:36.570" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T12:48:36.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2172" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2367" CreationDate="2011-07-03T08:10:33.973" Score="5" ViewCount="96774" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-month-old has recently discovered his thumb. He used to often suck his hands, normal baby behavior, and occasionally would &quot;find&quot; his thumb and happily suck for a while - usually when he was starting to get hungry. However, in the past few days he has started to suck his thumb much more often, almost constantly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first I let him do it because it was occasional, he seemed to enjoy it - and because a 2-month-old sucking his thumb is just adorably cute :) But now I'm starting to get concerned. Should I leave him and assume he'll grow out of it, or will this just let him cement the habit and suck his thumb for years to come? (I really don't like seeing 3+ year olds still sucking...) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I should try to discourage it, what can I do? Should I just leave him alone? And if not, what are some ideas to break the habit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried pulling out his thumb and sticking in a pacifier instead (which he doesn't seem to take too often)... but a minute later I'll pass by and the pacifier is out, and a minute later the thumb is back in. (I'd prefer an addiction to pacifiers than to his thumb, considering that pacifiers can be taken away... Thumb-sucking is a much harder habit to break.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did look at the 2 following posts, but found that my situation was different, hence my question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/653/when-to-stop-hand-sucking&quot;&gt;When should an infant stop sucking on her hands?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/158/how-to-prevent-children-from-sucking-their-thumb&quot;&gt;How to prevent children from sucking their thumb?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-16T12:13:01.920" LastActivityDate="2019-07-16T12:13:01.920" Title="Should I stop my 2-month-old from sucking his thumb?" Tags="|newborn|habits|mouthing|thumb-sucking|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2172" CreationDate="2011-07-03T10:32:25.210" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could he be teething? In that case he might find the pacifier too soft, and he's looking for something with more chewable resistance. Try offering him teething toys (put them in the fridge first for added effect) and see if he likes them more than the pacifier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's not teething, it might be that he has discovered/decided that he dislikes that particular brand/model of pacifier. Try a few different ones, and test if their relative firmness/softness or shape makes any difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-03T10:32:25.210" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2165" CreationDate="2011-07-03T11:00:27.967" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found with my baby that it's more accurate to go by his behavior than by &quot;rules&quot;. There have been times when he gave a &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt; burp and still seemed unhappy and gassy and had to get out a bit more air. There were times when he gave a teeny little burp, or just a few hiccups, and that was all he needed to calm down and be happy. Watch your baby - if he's still moving around and acting a bit agitated and unhappy and making those groaning gassy sounds, you should probably try a little longer. If he seems happy and content and nothing's bothering him, most likely it's safe to put him down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And note - my baby has often taken more than 10 minutes to burp, especially when he was very young and his digestive system wasn't completely developed... Once again, I don't think there's any magic number. Depends on the kid.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastActivityDate="2011-07-03T11:00:27.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2011-07-03T15:33:14.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Helping a child to develop a large vocabulary is very important.  It is important because we know that possession of a large spoken vocabulary is one of the factors which determines success in reading and writing.  Some of the other answers are correct and talking to the child all the time is part of the solution, but only part.  Evidence tells us that the most effective way to help children pick up words and their meanings is twofold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Through improving their phonological awareness; - their ability to perceive and reproduce the sound system of the language.  For instance English has 47 phonemes (speech sounds).  The evidence suggests that the best way to increase the phonological sensitivity of the child is through rhyme and alliteration, which not only helps them to fine tune their sound discrimination, but helps them to perceive the 'onset and rime' of words and their syllable structure.  The best way to do this of course is exposure to nursery rhymes and poems.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stories. - Sticking to the same two or three stories, (don't children just love repetition, - ever wondered why?), has the effect of enabling the child to construct a framework for meaning. - Very quickly he will begin to attribute meaning to certain words within the story and these words will act as a scaffold for him to 'fill in the blanks' as to the meaning of the other words.  Soon he will understand the entire story and when he does, you move to another one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are amongst the strategies I use when I treat children who have language and communication impairments, especially children who have no spoken language, but they are applicable to children in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-19T12:48:18.227" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T12:48:18.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2165" CreationDate="2011-07-03T20:18:48.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on the child.  My baby absolutely needed to be burped every 2 ounces of formula, no exceptions, until she was about 6 months old.  Our ped refused to speak to us once I had to stop breastfeeding, but the little advice we got out of one of his colleagues was that some babies do well with one big burp halfway through, but some babies need time every couple ounces to get that air out or they're miserable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-07-03T20:18:48.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2158" CreationDate="2011-07-03T20:33:12.943" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My philosophy about medical questions goes something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I'm asking the internet, I should at least call the doctor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the doctor doesn't take the question seriously, find a new doctor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the doctor IS taking it seriously but I'm still concerned, it's time for a second opinion.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If a doctor is upset/concerned that I got a second opinion, it's time to find a new doctor.  Doctors are people, yes, but they're also professionals and should be sufficiently comfortable with their medical judgment that they're fine with patients/parents getting a second opinion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I'm comfortable with my doctor's assessment of the problem, I have to figure out what techniques are most effective at getting wannabe-doctors off my back.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My philosophy about non-health care professionals goes something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Opinions are like...well, you know what.  Everyone has one.  Doesn't make you special.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it's something life-threatening and someone else thinks I should be taking it more seriously, I call the doctor.  Sure, I'm the mom, but I'm not perfect and I may have missed something that the other person may have more experience with than I do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it's not life-threatening, I politely thank the person for their input and go about my merry way.  Some folks just don't feel good about themselves unless they play doctor for your baby.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, a baby's genitals are often quite large for a long time because of the mother's hormones.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.birth.com.au/Your-baby-soon-after-birth-what-you-need-to-know/Genitals.aspx&quot;&gt;According to this article&lt;/a&gt;, a baby boy's genitals may be enlarged for up to three months.  Given that your baby is ~8 wks you may have another ~4ish weeks to go.  If you truly don't think there's a problem, and would like to put peoples' minds at ease, here is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/tools/symptom/536.html&quot;&gt;flow chart to help identify legitimate problems with baby genitalia&lt;/a&gt; that might help people &quot;play doctor&quot; enough to set their minds at ease.  You'll note that &quot;large scrotum&quot; doesn't even register as an issue, though.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-07-03T20:33:12.943" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-07-03T20:38:47.160" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have bad teeth because I was on antibiotics very often as a child.  My dentist fretted about the loss of enamel back then, and he was right to worry.  Speaking as someone who has a lot of dental problems despite great hygiene, I would echo what others have posted and strongly suggest you use other techniques to encourage good hygiene and discourage drug abuse.  I consider having severe stomach flu marginally more enjoyable than going to the dentist, and I have a high tolerance for pain.  Even with the drugs, it's not pleasant.  Better to make her as comfortable as possible so she won't be afraid to go to the dentist in the future than to withhold something that will make life easier for this filling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1179" LastActivityDate="2011-07-03T20:38:47.160" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2179" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-03T22:58:40.353" Score="24" ViewCount="2117" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have friend who is living with us and he has a 5-year old boy. The child has been disrespectful and distructive. He tore a ceiling fan down, and has been breaking stuff and writing on the walls.&lt;br&gt;&#xA; Today, he didn't want to clean up a mess and he said &quot;James (my husband) had made the mess.&quot; He even said it to my husband's face and maintained that James was lying (his word). His father does nothing - I do mean nothing about his behaviour. So, how much can we do about discipline?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1257" LastEditorUserId="816" LastEditDate="2011-07-05T10:00:24.580" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T18:57:02.463" Title="How do you discipline someone else's child?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2179" CreationDate="2011-07-04T00:48:03.990" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't. Your issue is with the parent, not the child. If the parent is not willing to step in and do their job, then why would you put up with either of them? Unfortunately, disciplining an adult is rather more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-07-04T00:48:03.990" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2181" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-04T03:20:36.017" Score="3" ViewCount="1603" Body="&lt;p&gt;This weekend I took my 3yo daughter for a pony ride. She is very independent and social-able kid&#xA;and I expected there would be no problem, but she had refused to sit on the pony because were very scared. She didn't even want to touch her. I remember we had the similar experience with kangaroos when she was 2yo - but she was able quickly (in a minute) to overcome the fear and even hugged the roo.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't force her on pony this time, because I felt she was not ready, and we decided to come back two weeks later to take it slow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is I don't know how to &quot;take it slow with&quot; a ponys/horses? If someone has a similar experience - can you please share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1259" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:35:15.847" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T18:42:21.273" Title="How can I teach my toddler to ride a pony she's scared of?" Tags="|toddler|activities|animal-interaction|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2181" CreationDate="2011-07-04T06:15:53.223" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems from what you say that she does not &lt;strong&gt;want&lt;/strong&gt; to learn to ride a pony. Does she &lt;strong&gt;need&lt;/strong&gt; to?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if not, enjoy the animals &lt;strong&gt;from a distance,&lt;/strong&gt; where they appear to be smaller. Go to zoos and ranges, talk about what you see, but don't approach closer than her comfort distance.  &lt;strong&gt;Let your daughter decide.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-04T06:15:53.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2172" CreationDate="2011-07-04T12:22:50.390" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Far from preventing him, you should be &lt;em&gt;encouraging&lt;/em&gt; him if possible. This is great way for babies to comfort themselves - now that your son has found his thumb, he shouldn't need dummies/pacifiers any more. He's getting self-sufficient :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="973" LastActivityDate="2011-07-04T12:22:50.390" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1695" CreationDate="2011-07-04T13:08:12.190" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't know if there are any studies but I have a 5 year old grandniece.   She has been brought up to speak two languages (her Father is French, her mother is English).  She is now learning to read in both languages.  This does not pose her any problems.  She can easily switch from one language to another as she has been doing this since birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1262" LastActivityDate="2011-07-04T13:08:12.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2185" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2186" CreationDate="2011-07-04T22:46:01.557" Score="28" ViewCount="4618" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've spent some time around parents of children in the 2months to 6 years range. And both were quite diligent about having me watch what I said, in particular around profanity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why the concern?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For parents looking for WHEN to allow such language, there is a similar question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5700/2876&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1129" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2017-01-18T02:09:09.287" Title="Why are parents so concerned about profanity around their children?" Tags="|behavior|parents|age-appropriate|social-development|profanity|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2185" CreationDate="2011-07-04T23:07:17.100" Score="66" Body="&lt;p&gt;Because children in that age range are learning language skills rapidly, and primarily by listening to what adults say.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they hear a new word, they will almost certainly try to use that word, even if they do not understand what the word means (which is frequently the case).  It is how they learn.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously you aren't offended by profanity, but believe it or not, many people are.  It is, after all, &lt;em&gt;intended&lt;/em&gt; to be... well... profane.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using profanity in school can cause problems for both children and their parents.  Once they start using profanity, it becomes difficult to get them to stop, as most attempts only teach the child that there is something &quot;special&quot; about those words, and that those words are more likely to get some sort of response, whether positive or negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-06T23:38:01.963" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T23:38:01.963" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2187" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2188" CreationDate="2011-07-05T00:52:38.883" Score="6" ViewCount="3961" Body="&lt;p&gt;So at night time, sometimes my 22-month-old daughter is climbing out of her crib and then playing.   I was thinking of these options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Letting her play until she gets tired and falls asleep on the floor (or the big-girl mattress that we have on the floor for her)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting her back in the crib when we notice she's out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1263" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:33:31.180" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T21:08:42.180" Title="What should I do when my toddler climbs out of her crib at night to play?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2187" CreationDate="2011-07-05T02:01:01.213" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put them back in bed.  Without talking, without expression, just back in bed and leave.&#xA;'Rinse and repeat' until they stay in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1264" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T02:01:01.213" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2187" CreationDate="2011-07-05T02:02:04.647" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to teach your daughter obedience, then you would put her back in the crib and tell  her that at night time, she sleeps. Otherwise, I would just let her play until she's tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you let her play until she's tired, she will in future desire to do whatever she wants to, because she has had in one occasion &quot;won&quot; her way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T02:02:04.647" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-07-05T02:44:36.287" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our eldest daughter was told the same thing (gain weight!) at the 12, 15, 18, 21, and 24 month appts- (we actually went every month because she was not on the weight charts, &amp;lt;1%).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediasure.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pediasure&lt;/a&gt; was an excellent addition to her diet.  It contains 9 grams of fat per serving as well as fiber &amp;amp; protein.  PediaSure also has lots of vitamins and minerals.  It does not contain dairy or wheat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We replaced all whole milk with Pediasure for 6 months, &amp;amp; then continued with mostly Pediasure. She is now well into the 40% for her age (3.5 years).  After the age of 3, we cut back on the Pediasure, just 1 bottle and we switched to the lower fat version (Side Kicks).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1265" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-03T15:40:43.133" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T15:40:43.133" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2179" CreationDate="2011-07-05T02:58:07.747" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two problems here: the adult who doesn't discipline, and the child who needs discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must react to both. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Discuss with the adult alone (after the kid's bedtime) about disciplining the child.  Provide some reference material if you think it would help (perhaps the dad doesn't know how??).  Otherwise, state: &quot;We need to get on the same page re: Little Johnny's behavior.  I recommend that we all agree on house rules and then figure out our approach to discipline.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child: ALL adults should be present.  As a UNITED front, they should present the house rules; I would recommend you do this, as it is your house.  &quot;Johnny, we're so glad you are able to stay with us, and we want everyone to always feel welcome in our home.  However, we have some rules that everyone must follow.  I don't think we have told you them.  Let's do this now.&quot;  Also have the rules printed and posted (on the fridge).  This helps cement the consistency and minimize on-the-fly rule making-up. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, be consistent in discipline.  We follow a &quot;3 strikes, you're out&quot; approach.&#xA;1st strike= warning with explanation if needed.&#xA;2nd strike= timeout (one minute per years of age; 5yo= 5 minute time out)&#xA;3rd strike= loss of toy/ loss of activity/ loss of privilege (no computer, no movie, no dessert- but to be effective, the treat must be pretty soon)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirdly, set up a reward system.  Be very spefic in praising the behaviors you want (&quot;Johnny, I noticed how you sat all through dinner! That takes a lot of focus.  Excellent!&quot;). Couple short term praise with long term goals (ex: earn a sticker for specific behavior X, Y, Z, then trade in 20 stickers for a trip to the ice cream store).  At the beginning you need to train the child to look towards positive reinforcement and away from negative reinforcement (at this point, attention is attention).  So reward/ praise frequently.  Give verbal praise every 5-10 minutes and a sticker each hour.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1265" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T02:58:07.747" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2172" CreationDate="2011-07-05T09:56:44.520" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As he is only 2-months, there is nothing wrong with him sucking his thumb, its only natural.  As he grows older, he will gradually forgo this habit. But at the moment, he is a baby!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T09:56:44.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2150" CreationDate="2011-07-05T10:00:48.497" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest &quot;books&quot;. I got sucked into books when I first read Enid Blyton, and it was then that I learned about the world of imagination. Since then, books has been my main entertainment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest something easier to read, like Enid Blyton, and then proceeding to more exciting and stimulating books. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other ideas are :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sports&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Music  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, I still think &quot;books&quot; is the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T10:00:48.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2194" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-05T14:46:40.590" Score="9" ViewCount="4243" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a new Uncle and I sometimes find myself in the position that I should tell my niece off, yet I feel that it's not my place to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would only raise my voice to her, but I feel this may overstep the bounds with her parents (my Brother and his partner). Should I ask them what they are comfortable with, or proceed to make my own judgement?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1270" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-02T22:17:27.837" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T05:16:07.707" Title="How strict can I be with my niece?" Tags="|discipline|extended-family|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2194" CreationDate="2011-07-05T15:05:17.437" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely discuss this with your brother and his partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many parents (hopefully most) try to have a consistent strategy for discipline, sometimes with quite well-defined steps for progression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any discipline you provide should be in alignment with, and supported by, the overall discipline your niece's parents provide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, however, you find that your brother and his partner don't want you to provide any discipline at all, be prepared to describe the behavior that bothers you, why it bothers you, and ask how they recommend you all reach a situation where the behavior can cease to be an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T15:05:17.437" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2187" CreationDate="2011-07-05T20:53:04.740" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the suggestions of putting her back in, it's also a good idea to disassociate the bedroom with playing. Keep a separate play room (or, if you don't have the extra rooms, an area to keep her toys and whatnot in a non-bedroom place in the house) where all her toys are. That way, there's nothing worthwhile getting out of bed &lt;em&gt;for&lt;/em&gt;. That also reinforces the &quot;bedroom = sleep&quot; connotation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T20:53:04.740" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-07-05T21:19:06.447" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Loads of good answers on here. Just wanted to add one thing that we were given in advice when our son was this age and we were all keen to see more weight gain. Make sure you don't use whole grain foods all the time. we were surprised because we had assumed they were healthier but too much fiber can be a problem for small systems. we went back to white bread etc (along with the supplements etc that people are talking about here) and saw an improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;that said, he's now 5 and healthy but still small and still not interested in food. At this age the fear is obesity so no one tells us to 'fix it' any more! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband had a similar growth profile (my mother in law kept his charts) and he says that the important thing is to remain calm. Once your child realises its an issue you will have struggles for life (we struggle with this aspect too despite our best efforts to avoid)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;remember, you can offer the best but you can't make them eat it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1110" LastActivityDate="2011-07-05T21:19:06.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2185" CreationDate="2011-07-06T00:30:42.710" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember saying hello to one of my daughter's friends when she was five-ish. The friend's response was &quot;f***ing a***hole.&quot; She repeated this many times and thought it a great joke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend to curse like a sailor but did not find this funny or cute. With children, language spreads like a virus so we stopped encouraging our daughter from playing with the girl until she grew out of this phase. This may not be fair on the child, but our child would suffer a similar fate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children have no filter and tend to crave attention - swearing gives them a reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T00:30:42.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2185" CreationDate="2011-07-06T00:43:01.500" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its not just profanity but other words that are derisive of other people etc. Adults in public or the media will throw around various derisive terms, knowingly or unknowingly (or 'jokingly'), that children will learn and say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will start speaking like your crazy relatives. They learn by imitation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And once kids learn something it is very hard for them to unlearn it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="519" LastEditorUserId="519" LastEditDate="2011-07-06T15:27:35.147" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T15:27:35.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2194" CreationDate="2011-07-06T03:46:31.380" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You really should discuss it with your brother, because every parent is different,  but if you want to know what is a generally socially acceptable amount of discipline without a prior discussion, it really depends on what rules are being broken.  If a child is physically mistreating you, your property, or someone else, or is in imminent danger herself, you have every right to step in.  For everything else, you can make a polite request of the child or parent, just like you would ask another adult to stop a behavior that was annoying to you.  Some parents get very protective when strangers directly address their children, even if you mean well, but that's not a concern usually with family.  Don't ever punish a child without specifically discussing it in advance with her parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T03:46:31.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1087" CreationDate="2011-07-06T04:31:11.227" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I struggled mightily with a strong-willed girl, who is now 18.  When she was young, we found ourselves losing our temper and fighting with her and with each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A wise friend of ours, who at the time had three kids in college, gave us a very valuable insight. It eased our minds and helped us to get control of ourselves, and then our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parenting is like baseball; you get lots of at bats. If you spend too much time focusing on the last at bat, you won't be ready for the next one. No one at bat matters by itself, but they matter together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are going to make mistakes. Learn from them, and make adjustments, but don't spend much time dwelling on them or trying to fix them. Absent the obvious, an individual mistake will not have a huge negative impact. Worry more about the next situation then the last one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;All that said, I think your approach is fine.  Apologize if an apology is necessary, and move on.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two other points:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not let the kid off the hook for whatever bad behavior triggered the episode. The kid doesn't earn a pass by goading mom or dad into an emotional outburst. &quot;&lt;em&gt;I'm sorry I went crazy.  However, you did hit your brother, and that requires punishment. You will remain in your room alone until dinner.&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you issued an overly harsh consequence in anger, it is OK to adjust it later. &quot;&lt;em&gt;I apologize for losing my temper. I realize that grounding you all summer is overly harsh. I can't let you off the hook. You are grounded for two weeks.&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T04:31:11.227" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2187" CreationDate="2011-07-06T04:44:12.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We always let our son play for a few hours after we put him in bed at 8. We would just laugh and take pictures of him fallen asleep in the middle of his pile of toys in night. He never seemed to be tired during the day, he just caught up on his sleep during nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our second and third children haven't yet decided that they want to climb out of their beds and play. I suggest letting them play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pick your battles. I'm sure that you've got enough war with them during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T04:44:12.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2194" CreationDate="2011-07-06T04:49:55.010" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We kind of have an unsaid rule around here. We all discipline each others children as if they were our own. It teaches the kids to respect their elders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother never allowed me to discipline my younger brother when I was baby-sitting him. Talk about a nightmare. During his growing up stage he never respected anything I would say, everything was an up-hill battle and became an unsafe environment when he would refuse to listen and continue doing what he shouldn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last thing that you want to happen, is for the child and you to hate each other because there's a lack of respect in the family. If any child is dis-behaving around you, it's your duty to straighten them out, that's the role of an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T04:49:55.010" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2179" CreationDate="2011-07-06T04:52:20.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If his father is going to be a father, and you can't kick them out, then the child is going to have to learn to live by your rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the father doesn't accept that, then the father can choose to leave. Treat the child with the SAME LOVE AND DISCIPLINE as you would treat your own. If you lack the love for the child, then you shouldn't be disciplining him, but if you care for the well-being of your house, home and his life, then you need to discipline him at whatever level he dishes out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T04:52:20.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-07-06T04:57:13.287" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't read everything here, so I apologize if I miss something. My son has been stuttering since he started talking. I also notice that he does it more when he's nervous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I've found is that I make every effort to give him all of my attention as gracefully as possible when I notice him stuttering. I get down on one knee (his height) and I gently place my hand on him and talk to him softly. Doing whatever it is that I can, in order to make him as comfortable as possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has seemed to work. I'll tell him to calm down and talk slower. I don't talk over him or finish his sentences. I know it's because his little mind is either thinking so fast or he can't think of the next word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all, the love and grace that I can show him has worked so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T04:57:13.287" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2194" CreationDate="2011-07-06T05:00:12.293" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, don't yell at her. Not only is it not your place, but it is remarkably ineffective at correcting undesirable behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, if she is misbehaving and the parents are not controlling her, it is &lt;strong&gt;they&lt;/strong&gt; who should be &quot;told off&quot;, respectfully and calmly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the parents are present, you should &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; discipline her without their permission. Give her direction (&quot;Please don't touch that&quot;), but you don't apply consequences (&quot;Since you touched that after being told not to, you get to sit in time out for 5 minutes&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she is left in your care, you should discuss what tools they use to discipline her, and apply similar ones. If they use time out in the corner, you use time out in the corner. If they use confinement to the bedroom, then you use confinement to a (safe) quiet space. If they don't discipline then I would avoid being a caregiver. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: if you become a regular caretaker, then this will change as the &quot;house rules&quot; and their consequences become clear to the parents and the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T05:00:12.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2011-07-06T05:07:12.240" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take a one-piece pajama, the sort with long arms and legs, but without feet, that has a zipper running from one leg to the top, and put it on backwards.  It's completely tamper-proof, easy to &quot;service&quot;, and ought to be equally comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried many of the other suggestions (diaper backwards, onesie, onesie plus some kind of trousers, &quot;duck&quot; tape, sleeping bag), but they were all found out after a short while.  If he gets the backwards pajamas off, he'll be ready to join a circus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="587" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T05:07:12.240" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2209" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2215" CreationDate="2011-07-06T07:51:08.720" Score="28" ViewCount="12566" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're having problems with our 3.5 year-old boy concerning potty training:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since his birth it seems, that being cleaned is much more unpleasing to him than running around with brimful diapers for hours, other parents always said that their kids even request fresh diapers themselves, as they can't stand it, if it's full. For him, that seemed to be no problem. Not only that he did not let us know, he even denied it if we asked him directly if he has poo'd in his diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is now in the &lt;strong&gt;kindergarten&lt;/strong&gt; for 9 months and it is especially pronounced there:&#xA;He he says when he needs to pee but does not say when he needs to poo. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast &lt;strong&gt;at home&lt;/strong&gt; it works very well:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He runs around without diaper and since some months he reliably goes to his potty in time and is even proud of his poo (we are also honestly and happy with each of them landing in the potty and show him.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, when we are &lt;strong&gt;in town&lt;/strong&gt; or somewhere on the way, he would not tell me that he needs a toilet, fills his diaper clandestinely and normally would not tell me - sometimes even deny if I ask him, if &quot;something is in his diapers&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My questions:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does anyone else have similar experience and how could that be solved?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More information:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I often tried to talk to him (and the kindergarten teacher) why he does not go to the toilet in time or at least tells somebody if it's too late already.&#xA;From his comments (and my experience) there are several possible reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He &lt;strong&gt;fears to loose his toys&lt;/strong&gt; or that someone destroys e. g. his building brick construction when he goes away to the toilet (the kindergarten teacher then tells him that it will be still there for him, when he comes back). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is &lt;strong&gt;&quot;too busy&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; (does not want to interrupt playing).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He does not want to disrupt a &lt;strong&gt;group activity&lt;/strong&gt; like singing or reading a story or lunch by saying that he must go to the toilet&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He &lt;strong&gt;seems to not like the little toilets&lt;/strong&gt; in the kindergarten, but I could not find out why. At home he has his potty and seems to be happy with it. In the kindergarten this is not possible unfortunately (not even an exception, otherwise all other kids would also want their potty being there). The kindergarten teacher however assured me that she even checks for him it its clean before he goes in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maybe it is his way to gain some &lt;strong&gt;extra care and attention&lt;/strong&gt; by the kindergarten teacher.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He said to me once, the other (mostly older) kids are saying &lt;strong&gt;&quot;ick!&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; if he has a full diaper and if it stinks. So it might be &lt;strong&gt;embarassing&lt;/strong&gt; for him what happens, but that seems not to help him to get rid of the situation...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting cleaned seems to be unpleasant for him, but surely it gets worse if he run around in his full diaper for an hour or more and he also knows that. He knows perfectly well that it might be less painful if he told us sooner, but he does not. If his full diaper is &quot;detected&quot;, he then proposes on his own that I shall clean him in the shower instead of just taking a wet washcloth which might cause pain for his (then) already red skin)!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had &lt;strong&gt;tried it without diapers&lt;/strong&gt; in the kindergarten for some time (some months ago) but we gave up, as we had again and again several dirty trousers per day and so he has diapers in the kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It adds to the problem, that his digestion seems to be somehow special, so he sometimes poos a &lt;strong&gt;great amount&lt;/strong&gt; at once [the last two days we had dirty trousers for this reason, although he had worn diapers! it just flow out, as he did not tell anybody so that he even had to take a shower in the kindergarten] and on other days it's the &lt;strong&gt;frequency&lt;/strong&gt;, so we have up to 4 more or less small amounts of poo per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kindergarten teacher which is his psychological parent is very friendly, nice and cooperative and I admire her patience. However, she is at a loss with the situation as we are - she says she talks to him nearly each day about that, but it does not seem to change anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is quite clever and often knows quite well what he has to say as an excuse to get out of something, so it seems to be even possible that he might be &quot;manipulating&quot; what he tells me about what happens in the kindergarten or about his reasons not to go to the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;The &lt;strong&gt;problem seems to be solved&lt;/strong&gt; - however we'll have to see if it is a permanent solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day, 2 weeks ago, it happened that the diapers in the nursery went out (for children older than 3 years, the parents have to supply them and we were not informed that there were not enough any more), so the kindergarten teachers let our son stay some hours without diapers and he managed that without big &quot;accidents&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I seized the opportunity and asked him the next morning to go to the nursery without diapers. He agreed and now he is without diapers in the nursery since one week and it works (apart from some small accidents with poo'ed underwear, but sh*t happens ;-)).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also when we were in town or in the circus in the afternoon, I let him without diapers and it worked very well, he was able to control himself and the pants stayed dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So that seems to be big step forward. Sure, this is only for one week now and there might be &quot;relapses&quot;, but we're optimistic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Of course, when he sleeps he's not yet aware of peeing and needs diapers, so that will be the next step when all works well reliably during daytime.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit 2:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment, there are &lt;strong&gt;many &quot;relapses&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;: wet underpants during our trip yesterday, later at home even a small poo in the fresh underpants, today poo'ed trousers and underwear in the kindergarten...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that was in the course of a series of days with really bad &quot;mood&quot;, where our son quickly overreacts if the slightest thing is not exactly how he wanted to have it. We used to have that often in the first 3 years until some months ago when those phases seemed to get shorter and less pronounced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'll have to see how it continues...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit 3:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(2 months later)&#xA;Well, we finally have made good progress:&#xA;We've been on holiday abroad for 2 weeks with our son and everything worked perfectly well (during daytime): he went to the toilet together with me and also told us on his own if he needed a toilet. No accidents at all. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The diapers were only needed for the night, where he apparently is not aware of peeing before it starts. So because of the lack of washing and drying facilities we did not want to risk wet beds.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'll have to see how it will work now back in the kindergarten...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit 4:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5 days at home, 3 poo'ed underpants. :-(&#xA;At least he seems to tell us by himself now, when the underpants are dirty.&#xA;... It's not over yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit 5:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Well, we had 12 days with no accident (neither at home nor in the kindergarten), and then 2 days with &quot;accidents&quot; (but small amount of poo in the underwear) again... &#xA;... and now even 2 big &quot;accidents&quot; (one at home and one in the kindergarten).... :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit 6:&lt;/strong&gt; (2 months since Edit 5 and 7 months after original question)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had some phases where everything went well for some days, but already before christmas the number of accidents in kindergarten increased.&#xA;During the christmas holidays at home it went quite well (apart from 3 &quot;accidents&quot;) and then back in the kindergarten we're now moving step by step &lt;em&gt;backwards&lt;/em&gt; ...&#xA;Very full panties, tights, ... and we don't see any regular &quot;pattern&quot;.&#xA;The worst is, that he still mostly does not tell the teachers if the pants are dirty and that he even often is lying and denies that he has to be cleaned and then even spreads it more and more everywhere in his clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit 7:&lt;/strong&gt; (10 months after last edit and 1.5 years after original question)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is now 5 years old.&#xA;We had hard times in between - it got better, than it got worse again, we had many problems with the kindergarten, because the kindergarten teachers were not willing to support us any more and finally wanted us/our son to wear diapers during the day again - which he did not want (and we did not want either, because then there would have been no more motivation to go to the toilet at all...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had consulted different doctors (2 pediatricians, one &quot;expert&quot; for digestion who proved to be a charlatan which made some very expensive but totally useless analysis and convinced us giving our son medicine to &quot;stabilize&quot; the gut flora... with no effect at all).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, by hazard we heard the term &lt;strong&gt;&quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Encopresis&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;encopresis&lt;/a&gt;&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; and with this new search term, we found out:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it is an illness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;there are specialists (doctors) who know about it&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(before, no one understood us or our child - neither in the kindergarten nor the pediatrician..., nobody took us seriously, everybody thought about psychological causes for the problem - the child &quot;seeking attention&quot; by his behavior... )&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we went to a special ambulance for such problems&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We learned from the doctor, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that our son must have had obstipation, which finally explained why he always made very small amounts of poo in the underwear - sometimes several times a day, which we had considered being diaarhea&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that our son has to learn to control it and that it may take a long time...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So since some months now, we are doing a &lt;strong&gt;toilet training&lt;/strong&gt;, which means:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;after each meal (breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, diner) our son has to go to the toilet and stay there for 5..10 minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;for each day, he did &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; (no matter if pants got dirty or not!!!), he got a sticker which he could paste on a kind of calendar sheet (one field for each day) for documenting how it worked&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we had a list marking when it worked well and when it didn't (e. g. he refuses to go to the toilet after the meal or also what happened when (poo, pee, in the toilet/pants...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We apologized to our son for setting him under pressure and for having him punished because of the dirty underwear...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now it works much better, there are only small amounts of poo in the pants maybe every 1..2 weeks, but &lt;em&gt;no large &quot;accidents&quot; any more&lt;/em&gt;, where a large amount of poo is distributed everywhere in pants/socks....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One large problem we could not solve up to now: our son does not tell us/kindergarten teachers directly, if he has poo in his pants... in the kindergarten he might hide it for hours, at home if playing or activity is too interesting, he won't tell us... that's a big problem for us..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT 8&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(10 months after last edit and &gt;2years after original question)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;things did not change much since the last edit:&#xA;in general it works quite well (with some &quot;accidents&quot;) but there are phases, when it does not really work any more: small stains of poo in the underwear nearly daily, rarely a large amount and nearly never he tells anyone to help him :( &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT 9&#xA;(5 months after last edit and about 2.5 years after original question)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;not much news: often it works quite well, but there are phases of sometimes several weeks, where there are at least small stains of poo in the underwear 2..3 times daily and nearly each day and even sometimes a large amount...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Situation in the kindergarten is still difficult, there are sometimes problems with young or unexperienced teachers (mostly interns) which show even less understanding for the problem than the experienced teachers...&#xA;And he often avoids being &quot;caught&quot; and hides himself, so that my wife or I have to clean him when we pick him up and often he's apparently been around with dirty pants for quite a long time there...&#xA;The therapy in the specialized hospital has brought us forward a lot, but it is still very hard to cope with this issue and the consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;.. as he'll soon go to school, here's my new question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11762/how-to-deal-with-encopresis-in-primary-school&quot;&gt;How to deal with Encopresis in primary school?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;EDIT 10&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(10 months after last update, 3.5 years after original question)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There followed many difficult months - if my notes are correctly the longest durations with no soiled pants were about 7..10 consecutive days, and there were phases where it happened several times per day and also on the following days.. &#xA;After the time in the day care was over, it also continued happening during our holidays when he was at home or when we were on holiday travelling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Positive:&lt;/strong&gt; he now (during the last 2 months) told us much more often when he needed help for cleaning and he sometimes also felt that he needed at toilet before it was too late.&#xA;Even when invited on a birthday party he told to a parent that he needed help (we're very proud). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were very concerned how it should be when he would be going to school in autumn. We informed the teachers in advance. Up to now all went quite well, it was only once that he had a soiled pants during school hours, maybe a dozen during the daycare after school and some more in the afternoon or during the week end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The longest &quot;clean&quot; phases without soiled pants were about 2..3 weeks, and there were not many of them. :-(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the problem is still not solved, but it is much reduced and we get along with it much better now, but it is still a burden for him and for us and restricts his life:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he/we can go nowhere without having some backup underwear with him (or placed somewhere)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if no one from us (parents, grandparents) is with him, we have to talk to the adults he'll be with and have to rely on him telling them by himself if he needs help in case of an &quot;accident&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;nocturnal enuresis is still there&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;EDIT 11&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(2 years and 10 months after last update, 6 years and 4 months after original question)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is nearly 10 years old now. We still have the problem, that he sometimes soils his pants.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I've given up trying to do statistics or understanding something. It just happens sometimes (estimated every 7..10 days). Luckily, the cases when the amount of poo in the pants is high seem to happen more rarely, but they still happen. And he still often ignores it and just walks around like that until his mother or me smell it and tell him to clean himself.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It happens especially often in situations, where he (I suppose) just not wants to listen to the signs of his body (and in consequence go to the toilet), but concentrate on something else - e. g. birthday parties of his friends or our family, play dates when he has invited friends to our home or is invited by a friend, ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I let him wash his pants himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also still has no control over bedwetting at night and still needs to sleep in diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the last years I came to the conclusion, that he very often ignores the signs of his body and has to learn to take better care of his body and his body's needs (like not ignoring hunger and not forget eating because he wants to play or work on something, ...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Summary: General remarks for other parents from my experience&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(3.5 years after original post)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I learned during those difficult years (which are still not over):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;don't blame your child&lt;/strong&gt;, just calmly help him clean up things (without any negative comments about how much work this is for you)!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;relax&lt;/strong&gt; (I know how difficult this is!!) and try to avoid the stress which such situations can cause to you and your child, because this stress even can make things worse in a vicious circle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;seek help from doctors and psychologists&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I try to help my son to build self-confidence and learn being positive about his life and his chances.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I now start believing that there are very often (if not always) relations between health/ physical aspects and psyche, so don't ignore the psychological help (thinking that your child is &quot;normal&quot; and does not need a psychologist. Your child might be perfectly normal, but the circumstances of his life might make him/her do strange things or have health problems)! The ideas and meditations from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.louisehay.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Louise L. Hay&lt;/a&gt; were very interesting for me in this  context.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2017-11-01T11:42:07.337" LastActivityDate="2017-11-01T11:42:07.337" Title="How can we potty-train our pre-schooler outside the home?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|potty-training|encopresis|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-03-12T10:27:20.090" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2209" CreationDate="2011-07-06T10:37:36.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I can see, your child seems to be avoiding going to toilet &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; when he is playing, or busy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your comments:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He fears to loose his toys...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  He is &quot;too busy&quot;...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that he is avoiding going to toilet during kindergarten, but not at home seems to affirm this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is true, then I will say that what your child needs is a measure of discipline, as in:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you avoid going to toilet, mommy is going to make you go to bed early tonight&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or something like that. Basically, some kind of a punishment needs to be given to stop this behaviour, &lt;em&gt;if he is avoiding it due to play&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T10:37:36.347" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2105" CreationDate="2011-07-06T11:15:58.647" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We really enjoyed camping with our children when they were babies and toddlers. Nursing made life much easier because there was no need for bottle gear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The type of camping will determine the type and amount of gear you bring. Though it's simple to camp just as you are, there are a few things that made our camping experience much more enjoyable:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;playpen - Bringing this when we were car-camping was the BEST decision ever! Our tent was big enough to hold a playpen, so this is where they slept. In the day, we would bring it outside for naps. For them, it was a comfort from home, a known, and made getting to sleep very easy. For us, it was a way to keep them contained during meal prep and it had a net which helped keep the bugs out. This did not come when we were canoe tripping, but was missed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a hat - very important for sun and bug protection&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bug net - (complete luxury) This fit over their hat. For very thick bugs, it was a big relief.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;long sleeve shirt and pants - again for bug protection. Sometimes we applied bug repellant to their clothes; much preferable than to their skin.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sunscreen&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bug repellant&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;after-bite&quot; - also a luxury, but provided quick relief from itching. Little ones don't know to keep bugs off them and can get bitten much more severely. Also, they can have more severe reactions (swelling).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;socks and shoes rather than sandals - We either let them go barefoot or gave them complete foot protection. Sandals, especially for new walkers, can get caught on things and lead to more toe injuries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a book - This helped when we needed some quiet time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if water:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a lifejacket, not just a PFD (personal flotation device) - A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tc.gc.ca/eng/marinesafety/debs-obs-equipment-lifejackets-information-1324.htm&quot;&gt;lifejacket&lt;/a&gt; will turn someone onto their back, face out of the water, and is coloured red, orange, or yellow, for easy spotting (handy on land, too!). Though it's recommended to keep children within arms reach, one-on-one contact supervision is best in water. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-07-06T11:21:51.370" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T11:21:51.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2209" CreationDate="2011-07-06T11:49:45.303" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ham and Bacon is on to something, I think. Given BBM's reply, I am offering this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to separate cause from solution; you can't attempt to &lt;strong&gt;solve&lt;/strong&gt; the problem until you know what is actually &lt;strong&gt;causing&lt;/strong&gt; it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Causes: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does your child only behave this way when he perceives a risk to lose toys or miss out on something? It seems reasonable that he's afraid of somebody taking his toys or knocking over his building blocks &lt;strong&gt;at kindergarten&lt;/strong&gt; but perhaps that is not a risk at home? At home, his only concern is get back to playing as fast as possible. So it would perhaps not be the issue of &quot;playing/being busy&quot; in itself, but the fear of what happens while he's away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Solutions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he's just too &lt;em&gt;impatient&lt;/em&gt; to accept any break in his playtime, that's something you can train. Show him that it's okay to interrupt his activity for a toilet break. Perhaps he is an impatient personality? That can be trained.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he's afraid of &lt;em&gt;losing&lt;/em&gt; stuff, find ways to address that. This is easily controlled at home of course, but can be difficult at kindergarten where any toy that's not in someone's hand is up for grabs. This is something you can discuss with the teacher; she might have useful insights about this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he prefers the potty and is not allowed a potty in kindergarten, then consider removing the potty at home too and train him on that, to make things consistent. If kindergarten has kid-sized toilets (wow!) then consider a booster seat at home (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000AV5LZ8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;example&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-06T12:29:46.160" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T12:29:46.160" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2213" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-06T14:03:54.373" Score="11" ViewCount="20275" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 7-month old boy is only sleeping an average of 11-12 hours each day. During the day, he usually takes 3 naps, and each one only last approx. 30 mins.  From 3 months onwards, he has always been a light sleeper compare to other babies at his age, but the situation seems to be getting worse recently.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A little sound can wake him up, especially during the day.  I'm not sure if it's due to bad habits (we used to rock him and sometimes my parents would hold him during his entire nap, which usually only lasted for 20 mins).  For naps, we still hold him in our arms till he's almost asleep and we give him a pacifier. At night, we usually have a routine to play some music, hold him and pat him and until he's totally relaxed, we put him in his cot with a pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's awake, he's usually very alert and doesn't seem like he's having a lack of sleep... We read about babies at this age should be sleeping an average of 14-15 hours a day, so the baby have sufficient rest, which is essential for brain development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also heard the sleeping problem could be caused by his diet (e.g. he's not getting enough food so he keeps waking up).  He just started solid at 6 months and he now takes approx. 700ml of formula (similac stage 2) each day.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is his general routine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;5am - 6am: start waking up/ falling back to sleep - usually we give him a small feed (e.g. 60ml of formula or 90ml of water)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8am - 150-210ml formula &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;9-11am - nap/play.  nap usually only lasts 30 mins&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;12pm - 120ml formula + 4 flat tablespoons of rice cereal with veggie&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1-4pm - play/ 1-2 naps. each nap lasts only 30 mins&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;4pm - 180ml formula&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7pm - 120ml formula + 4 flat tablespoons of rice cereal with veggie&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8-9pm - bed time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;12am - sometimes if baby wakes up, we give him 60ml milk (dilute with extra water)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been talking about letting him cry, but it's very hard to implement (mainly for us, emotionally), I'm also not sure if our 'soft' routine is a problem.  my friends been raving about gina ford's first year contented baby book, i do believe in it but since our son sleeps so little, it's very hard to keep the routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you in advance for your help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1275" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:28:55.220" LastActivityDate="2019-03-19T04:15:23.527" Title="How much sleep does my infant really need?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2213" CreationDate="2011-07-06T14:33:51.233" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as he's hitting his milestones, his health and attitude are appropriate, and he seems to be otherwise OK, there shouldn't be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is just coming up on 8 months old and has a pretty similar sleep schedule to yours.  He sleeps from 8 or 9 pm til 6 or 7 am, and just a few short naps during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think that noise wakes him up too easily, having some kind of noise generator might be useful to keep small noises from waking him from naps.  You can either get a purpose-built device (like one of those devices that makes &quot;beach/waves&quot; or &quot;forest sounds&quot; or &quot;rain/storms&quot;) or just a radio tuned to a light music station.  It's also handy because it doesn't make you feel like a captive in your house while baby sleeps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're particularly concerned, ask your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T14:33:51.233" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2209" CreationDate="2011-07-06T15:17:13.910" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that the other possible reasons for this behavior is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your son does not like other people&#xA;to see him doing his business or the result of it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is attached to his potty and does not feel comfortable on others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you can do much about either except for discussing it with your son and letting him know that there is nothing wrong with it and encouraging him. He is only 3.5 so I would give him some time to grow out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-22T21:35:12.673" LastActivityDate="2011-07-22T21:35:12.673" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2213" CreationDate="2011-07-06T19:37:02.063" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may be able to do a much earlier bedtime.  :)  Little ones are funny, the more sleep they get, the more they sleep (if that makes sense).  We played with our son's bedtime and found that even if we put him to bed at 6:30-7, he'd still wake up at 5-6am.  And it gave us a wonderful evening to hang out.  We were surprised that he didn't wake up earlier when he went to bed earlier and it even made his naps longer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For guidelines on the amount of sleep, I loved &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-child-need_7645.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;, I referred to it often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guy is now 27 months and sleeps 12 hrs total a day.  He has one nap that is 1.5-2 hrs and then goes to bed by 8 and wakes around 6:30-7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Around 6 months we found a wonderful book by Polly Moore.  She has a method called NAPS, which basically says that by 6 mo a baby's awake cycle is 90 min.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babble.com/baby/baby-sleep-solution/polly-moore-90-minute-baby-sleep-program-infant-sleep-schedule/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;(link)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the baby wakes, start a timer.  90 min later put them down for a nap.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After the nap, start the timer again.  Feed/play and 90 min later, another nap.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it might sound ridiculous!  It took my son a week or so but he really responded to this schedule.  As your kiddo gets older, the awake period gets longer but doing this really helped to regulate his naps and his night sleep.  It was like a miracle for us because he used to doze for 15 min, 30 min or just never nap and was a cranky mess.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also want to consider not holding him for naps.  That could be contributing to his light sleep, he's become so used to the snuggles that he has a hard time napping on his own.  :)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The noisemaker is a SUPER idea!  My son loved his white noise machine but we used to keep it pretty quiet because we didn't want him to get dependent on it.  As your baby's sleep regulates, he may become less of a light sleeper too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1277" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-07T06:11:15.997" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T06:11:15.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1774" CreationDate="2011-07-06T19:47:16.127" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to give my son fruit w/every meal.  I found that it was super easy to make myself and had the proper fiber in it to help him go.  :)  The best anti-constipation fruit for him were pears.  You peel and cut into cubes, steam in a bit of water in the microwave until soft and use a blender to puree it.  The whole thing literally takes 7 min to do, and to store it you can put the purees in an ice cube tray, freeze it and pop out your fruit cubes into a zipper bag.  Worked like a charm!  Somehow the bottled fruit never made him go like my own fruit.  I did all kinds of fruit, his favs were white peach and nectarine.  You can use this same method for sweet potatoes which are pound for pound the most nutrient packed item in the produce section!  :)  Steam in some water, and add milk as you blend it to get it to the right smooth consistency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also yogurt really worked for him to go more regularly.  I had to limit him to yogurt once every other day because it made him go so well.  ;)  I preferred to make my own yogurt since the baby yogurts had so much sugar in them, but YoBaby is a wonderful kiddie yogurt brand.  My fav were their fruit/veggie blends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, my son is now 27 mo and I just made him a batch of oatmeal cookies with 3/4 oatmeal and 1/4 milled flax seed.  Man those things work to keep it easy for him to go!  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1277" LastActivityDate="2011-07-06T19:47:16.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2179" CreationDate="2011-07-07T00:31:40.077" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do the same with other kids as I would mine.  If they make a mess they clean it up.  If they write on something they shouldn't then the crayons, markers, etc get taken away and put up high.  If they use disrespectful language I don't acknowledge that they are talking to me.  I may just say something a couple minutes later about how I am a worthy person due respect and acknowledge those that use respect with me.  You have to have standards in your home for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1278" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T00:31:40.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="275" CreationDate="2011-07-07T00:34:23.320" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just move the things that would cause them harm or you don't want them to play with.  If I had knives I wouldn't put them on the coffee table.  If he can't maintain self-control since he is only 14 months old, then put the books in a box and put some things he can play with on the shelves.  When he is older, put the books back and see if he can control himself.  Just eliminating the opportunity to make a bad choice, or cause harm to them, works very well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1278" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T00:34:23.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2187" CreationDate="2011-07-07T00:36:55.613" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why not let her sleep on the floor?  Why not let her sleep with you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be sure to have a good unwinding portion at the end of the day.  Turn the TV/radio down, turn down the lights, make it calming, and then do the nighttime routine.  If she is still getting up in the night to play, she is probably getting too much sleep during the day.  Be tons of fun all day, lots of play, lots of noise, play outside where it is light, then prepare for bed by unwinding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1278" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T00:36:55.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="51" CreationDate="2011-07-07T00:41:01.927" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There has to be boundaries, but there doesn't have to be punishment.  I am unsure what age your daughter is, but what is most effective with most ages is to give them choices.  The choices are obviously 2 options that are acceptable within your boundaries, yet you empower them to have self control.  For example, &quot;Either sit down on your chair and eat, or I will take your food away.&quot;  They have a choice.  Eat or don't eat.  or &quot;Pick up the book, or clean up the blocks.&quot;  They have to clean their own messes.  Then whatever they chose, they do the next thing and something great happens...like &quot;time for a snack!&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1278" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T00:41:01.927" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2225" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-07T05:43:16.283" Score="14" ViewCount="1550" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was one-and-a-half, my sister gave us a Wall.e Robot toy; it talks when you push buttons and moves back and forth. He loved it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But all of a sudden a year later he has become terrified of &quot;robots&quot;. Even talking apps on a iPhone freaks him out. He has nightmares about robots. He would wake up screaming, saying, &quot;robot coming&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have taken all &quot;robot&quot; like things away, and it has been almost 2 months since I have taken them, he still talks about robots. I don't allow him to see any movies with robots in them. In fact, he has never even seen Wall.E so I don't know what to do. I have talked to him a lot about how robots aren't here and they aren't coming but he just cries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He isn't afraid of the vacuum, blender or any other tool or household item. What do I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1280" LastEditorDisplayName="user106" LastEditDate="2011-12-14T20:56:04.913" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T15:24:56.707" Title="How can I stop my toddler from having nightmares about robots?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2225" CreationDate="2011-07-07T06:36:23.680" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds as if he is not afraid of &lt;em&gt;actual&lt;/em&gt; machines, only of &lt;em&gt;imagined&lt;/em&gt; ones, right? He's not afraid of the iPhone itself, only of the voices it emits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say he still talks about robots. What does he say? What's the focus of his stories? Is there a particular fear that keeps coming back?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm thinking that he feels threatened, so it might help to show him that machines are not in fact threatening and that they only do what they're told to. (Don't tell him about the &lt;em&gt;Terminator&lt;/em&gt; movies just yet...) Regarding fear of robots, I liked &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1800/toddler-is-afraid-of-robots/1803#1803&quot;&gt;this other answer&lt;/a&gt; and also the two comments from HedgeMage about a radio-controlled toddler toy. Even though he is perhaps too young for construction kits, it might help to show him what machines are made of. Take something apart and let him see for himself that there's no part labeled &quot;evil&quot; anywhere. (Again, don't tell him that evil &lt;em&gt;people&lt;/em&gt; also don't have any visible label like that. I hope he's too young to ask such a clever question!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's natural to remove objects that disturb him, so it makes sense that you took his robot toys away. But now he has no physical objects to direct his fears against -- he only has whatever is lingering in his imagination. Imagined stuff may be more difficult for you to address than physical ones, so perhaps it would make sense to re-introduce some of the most passive items (pictures or books, not battery-operated or moving toys). It would give both of you something physical to work with, and it might make it easier for him to tell you more specifically what he's afraid of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update regarding books and stories:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The problem with almost all stories involving robots is that even if they end well and are intended for children, they almost always have some real scary robots or other evil characters that make the story less suitable for young children. Even very likable movie robots like those in &lt;code&gt;Robots&lt;/code&gt; or &lt;code&gt;Wall-E&lt;/code&gt; have some rather brutal opponents. These are of course not aimed at toddler kids.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Keep this in mind and ask the library for stories that have no evil opponents (are aimed at toddlers).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T07:32:06.223" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2179" CreationDate="2011-07-07T11:00:39.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, the problem here is the parent, and not the child; the childs behaviour is because of the parents attitude towards discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have one particular friend, who's kids are, let's keep it neat by just saying 'unruly'.  I have made it very clear, that we only look after the children, if we can treat them as our own i.e. we discipline them as we do our own.  This seems to work, the kids operate by our rules when in our house, or under our supervision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do warn you, however, that there is an 'adjustment' period where things are all a bit tense, but this does work, and work well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for talking to the parent.  One thing I have learned, and learn more and more each passing day, is that as parents, we all have different ways that we bring our kids up, and I have long avoided saying our way is better, for it may not be; our way is best for us, and someone else's may not be for us, as much as our way for others; with obvious exceptions, there is no right or wrong, only our way and other ways.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also works  both ways; I detest violence, and no child of mine wil be physically punished.  I make it clear to whoever looks after my kids that this rule is inviolate.  They may punish them and make sure they behave, but never physically.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T11:00:39.033" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2011-07-07T12:12:56.053" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, your 3 year old child isn't gay and this is perfectly normal. He's a tomgirl, like a tomboy, but only different. What makes me sad is that society views him as a freak, whereas it's perfectly normal for a little girl to wear pants, pretend to be a pirate, get into fist fights etc. Why isn't it okay for a boy to do the same?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I loved how you're handling this, and I understand you feel alone, but there are several other families out there with such kids. It's just a part of growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I request you for your child's sake to read this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sarahhoffmanwriter.com/&quot;&gt;amazing writer's experiences&lt;/a&gt; of raising her pink son. If anyone ever advises you to discipline him into the norm, then please show them &lt;a href=&quot;http://edition.cnn.com/2011/US/06/07/sissy.boy.experiment/index.html&quot;&gt;this story&lt;/a&gt;. That story isn't unique and it pains me to know that thousands of children suffer for the crime of being different. For prejudices they don't even understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for reading this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1281" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T12:12:56.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2011-07-07T15:49:19.640" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no direct personal experience, but the attention I pay to early childhood research tells me that this is normal. At this young age (3 years) your son is trying on aspects of his environment to see if they fit. Think of it as an extremely valuable and productive form of imaginative play.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that in mind engage your son in his imaginative play with puppet play or costume play to help him explore and process his ideas about the world. Whenever possible enrich his environment with new experiences (such as a visit to a children's museum or hiking in a nature park). He will get plenty of exposure to gender norms; that's why they are call ed norms. You seem to be asking what to do if your son falls outside the norm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind we all take on gender norms to a degree and gender norms change. Men cry. Women are tough. Also, pink and blue were assigned to girls and boys only about 50 years ago, and many cultures (including America about 70 years ago) treat adolescents as though they are gender neutral.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A great PBS program This Emotional Life has a webpage on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/adolescence/identity-formation&quot;&gt;Gender Identity Formation&lt;/a&gt; (you have to find and click the Gender Identity tab) that ends with this comment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The best way to help your child as she&#xA;  explores her gender identity is to&#xA;  educate yourself on gender stereotypes&#xA;  and identity formation, and provide a&#xA;  safe, supportive environment for your&#xA;  child to discover her own identity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/x3K8i&quot;&gt;Gender Development&lt;/a&gt; [book] with similar books shown on Google Books&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/zrxsX&quot;&gt;Gender, Nature, and Nurture&lt;/a&gt; [book] Amazon.com&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T15:49:19.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2225" CreationDate="2011-07-07T16:33:09.807" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It appears that your son is about 2.5 years old. Keep in mind that toddlers have less ability to know the difference between dreams and reality. Also, nightmares tend to occur with stress in waking life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With these in mind coach your son about the difference between dreams and reality. Maybe through in the concept of imagination. This may take months to set in. And try to identify any stress in his life and try to minimize it. Remember toddler stress can be very different than your own, and much of it is unavoidable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stress questions from &lt;a href=&quot;http://life.familyeducation.com/nightmares/sleep/52589.html&quot;&gt;FamilyEducation.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Has he experienced any major change(s) recently?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Did he recently start daycare—or switch to a new daycare setting?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Did you or your partner just start going back to work?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Did you or your partner have to spend a night or two away from home?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Did you just have another baby? Or have you helped your toddler&#xA;  understand that a new baby is on the&#xA;  way?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Have you and your child clashed at all over his struggle to reconcile&#xA;  dependence and independence in eating,&#xA;  walking, and so on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T16:33:09.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1774" CreationDate="2011-07-07T22:58:46.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's a bit crazy that people start off with rice, and other cereals first.  Rice constipates.  Carbs set up a person for carb addictions their entire life.  Then they say bananas and apples.  Good choices as far as them being not very likely for the child to be allergic to them, but gosh...they stop a person up.  Remember the BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Apples, Toast) diet is what you eat when you have diahrhea to clog you up.  So...I would suggest just try small amounts of veggies to concentrate on.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a good website to find out what to give your kiddo and when:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is super easy to make babyfood.  You can watch the quality, and cut the fillers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think one issue that you are dealing with is the timing of the switch to formula and starting food at the same time.  Your baby went from the most perfectly, easily digested food in breastmilk.  To something that is not as easy to digest that lacks some elements crucial for good absorbtion.  On top of that starting food at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest taking a couple of days off and just have your baby on formula.  It is a balanced meal and your child won't be lacking nutrients.  Hydrating also helps push food through.  Then just a wee bit of veggies 1 time per day and see if it is all easier to push on through.  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1278" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T22:58:46.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="976" CreationDate="2011-07-07T23:04:22.760" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell her that if she has to go potty in the night to go ahead and go on her own.  Be sure there is a nightlight in there.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want her in your bed, put a pillow and blanket on the floor near your bed.  :)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1278" LastActivityDate="2011-07-07T23:04:22.760" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="457" CreationDate="2011-07-08T00:45:58.970" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adopted children should be treated the same as the rest of the family.  I would explain that to them and get their agreement before doing it.  It would really help them feel like they joined your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1278" LastActivityDate="2011-07-08T00:45:58.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2213" CreationDate="2011-07-08T14:10:34.840" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a child developmentalist and I deal with children who have neurodevelopmental disabilities who also have problems with sleeping and so I know by heart how much sleep a child needs at various ages.  Your 7 month old is getting exactly the right amount of sleep.  A child with no problems at 7 months of age should be having 11 hours of sleep at night and 2 - 3 naps during the day  There is nothing wrong with his sleep pattern, so stop worrying!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-19T12:47:54.140" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T12:47:54.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="976" CreationDate="2011-07-08T16:22:09.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could be a side issue. But if she isn't up for getting up by herself in the night then she isn't up for being nappy free. Why not put her back in the nappy, not only will you avoid the question of her getting into bed you also don't have to get up to deal with her need for a potty. 2 is awful early to be dry at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1110" LastActivityDate="2011-07-08T16:22:09.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2213" CreationDate="2011-07-08T16:46:07.110" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that your son is getting nearly the right amount (number of hours) but is waking up too often and not sleeping when it is best for the whole family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to encourage him to fall asleep on his own and learn how to fall back asleep himself. It may be a bit early for this. Unfortunately, many things could wake him up. Diet/body discomfort, sound, odor, temperature, vibration, or lighting. Work through all of these possible discomforts to help him sleep his best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a couple of resources for infant and toddler sleep concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In this New York Times &lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/758AX&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt;,&#xA;'When Lullabies Aren't Enough:&#xA;Richard Ferber' the Ferber approach&#xA;to getting babies to sleep well is&#xA;discussed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sleep needs chart from a National&#xA;Sleep Foundation &lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/uqPjj&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/eKRIv.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck with his sleeping!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-07-08T16:46:07.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2238" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2246" CreationDate="2011-07-09T00:09:53.957" Score="10" ViewCount="20517" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there's any specific benefit to nursing instead of just pumping and feeding from the bottle? Is there anything intrinsic in the act of nursing that improves baby's health or increases the nutrition? Does the mechanical act of sucking at the breast perhaps get at more /different/better parts of the breast than a pump and therefore get more diverse milk? Or does that not really make much of a difference? Can baby get the same benefits from pumped milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:27:19.963" LastActivityDate="2018-05-29T16:48:58.623" Title="Does feeding breast milk from a bottle convey the same health benefits as nursing?" Tags="|breastfeeding|nutrition|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2238" CreationDate="2011-07-09T02:18:56.733" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The milk is the same whether fed directly from the breast or from a bottle.&#xA;As long as you don't store it more than a few hours, there is no difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then it's just a matter of preference for you and the baby. If you feel giving the breast is a more affectionate way of feeding baby and your newborn likes it, it's fine. My daughter couldn't eat from the breast because of the speed and quantity. From the first few days she was fed pumped milk and she refused to take the breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantage of bottle feeding is that the father can help from the very beginning and, during the following months, baby will not need a period of adaptation from breast to bottle and mother to father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastEditorDisplayName="user896" LastEditDate="2011-07-10T00:43:56.577" LastActivityDate="2011-07-10T00:43:56.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2213" CreationDate="2011-07-09T03:01:50.440" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;He has only 3 hours difference with the average hours. The average of 14H to 15H is just an indication for parents to not let baby sleep too much or trouble him when he needs to sleep. If he wakes up on his own, then it is &lt;strong&gt;his&lt;/strong&gt; rhythm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, it looks like he is taking a lot of short naps,  and little noises can wake him up. Is he going out and play often?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we are doing with our daughter from the beginning is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Never hold the baby while she's sleeping. (thanks to this she could&#xA;sleep on her own from 3 months old&#xA;for many hours)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she wakes up in the morning, go out with her or play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Before bedtime, go out or play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We try to let her go out, meet people and get used to the city&#xA;noises. (she can sleep in the subway as well as in her quiet bedroom)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forget the noise generators. Your son seems healthily active. Just play a lot with him when he's awake and active and let him alone when he is relaxed in his bed. You might need to come to his room every 5 minutes when he starts crying (just wait 1 or 2 minutes after he started crying so that he doesn't think crying = papa is coming), after a couple of weeks he should get used to sleeping alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastActivityDate="2011-07-09T03:01:50.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2181" CreationDate="2011-07-09T03:18:42.113" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children will be afraid of animals with the following physical qualities:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Size (a pony looks cute to an adult, but children might feel threatened)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teeth (a dog eating for example)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nails (a cat playing)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speed (a pet running everywhere)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is afraid of one of these, just respect her fears and find another animal to play with. It will pass one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-07-12T06:33:03.403" LastActivityDate="2011-07-12T06:33:03.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2242" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-09T12:00:36.990" Score="5" ViewCount="8251" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have never been worried about our 2yo sleeping half sitting with the head hanging. However today I met a person with really strong beliefs that it may cause neck injuries later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any danger with this? If so, for what age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1292" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:27:07.983" LastActivityDate="2019-08-23T02:21:40.057" Title="Is it dangerous for a child to sleep with the head hanging?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2238" CreationDate="2011-07-09T12:55:27.877" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Other than maybe a physical bond, touching, there should be no difference as repecmps mentioned.  The milk is still the same, and I have seen plenty of mothers, including my wife, store the milk and feed it later.  The sucking motion, as long as you use one of those nipple tops that simulate a breast, should be the same - and even with an older style nipple top there should not be much difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-07-09T12:55:27.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2242" CreationDate="2011-07-09T19:22:45.957" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just asked my physiotherapist wife about this. She said she's not aware of any studies. At any rate, it's likely not lethal in itself but should be avoided anyway, if nothing else then for reasons of comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-09T19:22:45.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2242" CreationDate="2011-07-10T00:55:06.473" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Later in life, probably not as long as it's not an everyday habit.&#xA;Some young babies will have early neck problems if they sleep with the head on one side everyday. I don't know the medical term for this condition, but they cannot turn the head on the other side until physiotherapy is performed. It happened to a friend's son and she warned us about it when she saw our daughter's tendency to look only on the left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, have you ever slept with the head on one side all night long? I did and it's really painful when I wake up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're travelling, in a car, train, plane, bus, anywhere a sleeping position is not available, then you don't have much choice. At worst he might wake up with a sore neck. But if you're at home, in front of tv or anything, put him to bed. Give him good sleeping habits from the start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastActivityDate="2011-07-10T00:55:06.473" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2238" CreationDate="2011-07-11T02:47:57.597" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nutritionally, there is no difference in the amount of calories or in the breast milk itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the act of nursing requires a baby to use more muscles than are used in sucking a bottle.  This means that babies will only drink as much breast milk as needed; whereas bottle fed babies will develop a habit of overeating.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, you touched on foremilk/ hindmilk.  The first milk during the let down is more liquid and is designed to &quot;quench thirst.&quot;  The later milk is creamier in texture because of the higher fat content.  However, if you give your baby the appropriate amount of milk (2-8 oz depending on age) it doesn't matter that the fore and hind milk is essentially mixed in the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a peripheral note: feeding breast milk through a bottle means that the mother must pump regularly to keep up supply.  Generally you must pump at the same time as the baby would nurse.  You may need to pump longer or more often at the beginning to get used to the pump.  Although this doesn't directly affect the question regarding nutritional level, it's important to note that using a bottle to feed breast milk may cause the mother's supply to dry more quickly.  Pumping doesn't empty the breast as quickly or as efficiently as a baby (especially once the baby has learned how to nurse).  Newborn babies are slow, but once they are a few weeks old, they can nurse in 5-10 minutes what may take 30 minutes to pump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I nursed my oldest 15 months, and am still nursing my 12 month old.  I could not have pumped and given breast milk so long.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1265" LastActivityDate="2011-07-11T02:47:57.597" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2105" CreationDate="2011-07-11T04:26:27.853" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thank you to everyone for their answers. We just came back from our camping trip and I'd like to offer some additional insight while it is still fresh in my mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Playpen&lt;/strong&gt;. We could not have done this trip without a playpen. She slept in the playpen for her naps and at night in our tent. We moved the playpen out for one of her naps as it was a very hot day and she was having trouble sleeping in the tent. We put a couple of her toys from her crib in her playpen. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stroller&lt;/strong&gt;. We deeply regret not taking our jogging stroller and instead opting for a small $20 stroller for the trip. We were trying to save space in the car. A decent stroller is necessary if you plan to use it at all- the wheels need to be rugged enough to go on sand and gravel. We did take the baby carrier with us, but on hot days she would sweat too much in it. If you don't plan to use the stroller much (we use it a lot on everyday basis - walks, using it to put her to sleep), take a jogging stroller or don't bother at all. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lots of clothes&lt;/strong&gt;. We let her play as much as she wanted to in dirt on the campsite and in sand on the beach. Just gave her a beach set/scoops and she was a happy camper. For clothes, you want a hat, full-sleeve clothing for evening (mosquitoes) with full-length pants, sweaters for cooler early mornings/nights, short-sleeve clothing for day time + trackpants/windpants if you want to let her play in dirt (don't get as dirty). The trackpants were really, really useful on her because...she got really dirty. We used sandals with a thick sole on her. She loves wearing shoes and those were the only thick-soled shoes we found. On blankets: We had some very cold nights - one night we put TWO sleepers on her + onesie. Carry a couple of thin &amp;amp; thick blankets.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Few toys&lt;/strong&gt;. She really didn't need many toys. We only had the small beach set for her, and some toys from her crib. The dirt/sand entertained her for hours and hours. If she wasn't playing that, she was fascinated by the chipmunks or just fire/flames in general. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Food&lt;/strong&gt;. For food, we took her baby food (baby cereal, purees, etc.) with us. However, we only used the baby cereal. For every other meal, it was just table food (she has 8 teeth). Always carry bottles of water with you to keep the baby hydrated - she will drink way more water than normal. Keep some of her favorite foods (crackers/etc.) for cranky moments. If you let your child play in dirt/sand, be prepared for them to...eat it. It's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/health/27brod.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;not necessarily bad for them&lt;/a&gt; but you do have to teach them to not do so, as well as watching for putting stones/etc. in their mouths. I wouldn't bother taking bibs. She gets so much dirtier with dirt, etc. that food all over her makes little difference.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Baby folding chair.&lt;/strong&gt; We actually found one last minute - had no plans to get it otherwise. The one we got had a nice recline to it and was sort of &quot;scooped&quot; her in. She couldn't get in or get out of it herself BUT she loved being in it when we were all sitting by the fire. Of course, one of us could've just put her in our lap but she really, really enjoyed being in it when she was tired and everyone else was just sitting around. Try it out in a store and see if your infant likes being in it. Ours was all smiles :)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fire safety&lt;/strong&gt; was an issue for us. She kept trying to &quot;catch the flames&quot; despite knowing that it was hot. Never got close or anything, but she was relentless in trying to get close to the flame. This is obvious, but be sure that you don't turn your back to her for her around a flame - even if she is a few feet away. They start walking fast, and all that needs to happen is for them to trip into the fire pit. No accidents or anything to report here, but I was always scared!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Screenhouse&lt;/strong&gt;. No one at our campsite used a bug repellant. In the evening, we were all wearing full sleeves and would be in the dining tent playing games etc. It was a decent $40 investment for us. Our daughter would be in bed by 10-10:30, so she wasn't out too much anyway when the mosquitoes were. We didn't see any bug bites on her and she never scratched herself anywhere. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Showers&lt;/strong&gt;. Our daughter hated the public showers. It's probably because she has only ever had baths and is just not used to &quot;water raining&quot; on her, but she would cry the whole time while we were rinsing her. It was somewhat necessary to give her one after playing so much in dirt/sand and flinging it all over herself (hair, neck, etc.)...but she was miserable. I have no suggestions for this, except make it as short as possible. We didn't use any soap on her for our camping trip. Just a rinse. She had a nice bath when we came home though.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Diapers.&lt;/strong&gt; We changed her in our tent - wasn't a problem. As mentioned earlier, she had a more bowel movements than usual which gave her a bit of redness. Sand/dirt also has a way of getting in your crotch. So just change her often and make sure she is completely dry. We didn't really give her diaper-free time like we do at home (didn't want pee in our tent). We also were using disposables vs. the normal cloth diapers we use so her bum was a little irritated. Don't get lazy with the balm!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our roughest day was when it was very hot and humid outside. She was having a lot of trouble sleeping - was 4-5 hours past her nap time. Eventually we had to just drive with her in the car with the air conditioner. She was asleep within a few minutes. We drove for a bit more and then placed her in her playpen. She slept for 3 hours (usually it is 1-2). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if your infant usually doesn't wake up by 6am - be prepared for birds to wake your infant up. They are noisy. I'd also avoid weekend camping - we had the best time from Wed-Fri when it was mostly families around. Over the weekend, you get groups of friends who tend to stay up late an make lots of noise well past midnight. Someone was also going at it with illegal fireworks. If your infant is a light sleeper, this could be troublesome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the beach, there wasn't much different:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Life jacket&lt;/strong&gt;. Duh. If she was wearing a bathing suit, she was also wearing a life jacket.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Towels&lt;/strong&gt;. We used 2-3 baby towels. One to dry her off with, and one to wrap her up in until she was arm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Giant umbrella&lt;/strong&gt;. We didn't use any sunscreen on her, we just put her in UV bathing suits and had her sit in shade when playing with sand. We ran into no problems; however, neither my husband or I have ever had a sunburn. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Food for sea gulls :). She kept running after them and being super-excited about them. We threw some baby crackers at the sea gulls to bring 'em closer to our daughter (not too close). Our daughter kept trying to chase them. And then she sat down to pick up her cracker from the sand and proceeded to eat it. &lt;em&gt;sigh&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter absolutely loved the water. She was marching to it. It was a bit uncomfortable for her once it got too wavy, but otherwise she absolutely loved it. We didn't take her too deep - she could always stand in it. Always had at least two adults watching her, with at least one in arms reach. I had trouble holding her in water as I am 6 months pregnant - be sure you can handle the baby and lift her easily when you're in a standing/sitting position in the water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to take a hat to the beach. It's very sunny and some days she didn't want to play in the water - only wanted to play with the sand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were also able to take our daughter canoeing. This was slightly tricky as I have only canoed a couple of times in my life, so couldn't really steer. I also couldn't just hold her - my belly gets in the way when I am seated. Our daughter doesn't sit still either - so we were pretty afraid that the canoe was going to tip (it didn't). Just be sure you discuss with everyone on what to do if the canoe tips etc. I was concerned about what a 6 month pregnant non-swimmer should do if she sees her daughter in the water: how I should jump out of the canoe, get back in the canoe, etc. Anyway - our daughter really didn't enjoy the canoe trip. She wanted to be touching the water - not boating over it. My husband would occasionally hold her across his lap to her play with water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2011-07-11T04:42:46.187" LastActivityDate="2011-07-11T04:42:46.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="212" CreationDate="2011-07-11T15:02:44.920" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Work slowly towards getting him to not pick his nose or eat his pickings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try telling him that he may pick his nose as much as he wants, but it must be ONLY at home. Then ONLY at home and and he must throw his pickings in the garbage. Then, ONLY at home when there are no guests. Then, work towards restricting the rooms - e.g. ONLY bathroom and his bedroom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he picks his nose a lot and only at home is too strict to begin with, try something only at home and in the car. Add things like he must dispose his pickings in the tissue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just work slowly towards getting rid of the habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-07-11T15:02:44.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2011-07-11T21:16:58.900" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Masking tape has been working pretty well for our daughter with the same issue (any time, day or night).  We have to wrap it all the way around her waist so she doesn't take it off.  I'm glad she's almost ready for toilet training.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1263" LastActivityDate="2011-07-11T21:16:58.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2250" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2252" CreationDate="2011-07-12T02:23:02.750" Score="5" ViewCount="986" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am having a very difficult time finding a proper gate that will fit securely at the top of my stairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I may have a unique situation with the wooden banister where the base of the post has trim work that resembles the following...  (ASCII art not to scale)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;  _()_&#xA;  |  |&#xA;  |  |     &amp;lt;- about 5&quot;&#xA;   ||&#xA;   ||      &amp;lt;- about 24&quot;&#xA;   ||&#xA;  |  |&#xA;  |  |     &amp;lt;- about 10&quot;&#xA;  |  |&#xA; |    |    &amp;lt;- about 2&quot;&#xA;|______|   &amp;lt;- about 3&quot;&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to mount a top of stair gate, but the 5&quot; or so worth of trim forces me to attach the mounting brace to the 10&quot; section of the post, leaving a 6&quot;+ gap under the gate.  This gap concerns me because I can easily see my 1yr old son scooting or rolling under the bar and possibly getting stuck (or worse).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No gate manufacturer recommends a pressure mounted gate at the top of stairs, but even they did recommend one, I would be unable to due to the trim work on the banister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm definitely worried now because my son is mobile and I can't find a way to secure the stairs.  I don't have any other anchor points for a gate (i.e., hallway, doorway, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has somebody successfully secured their stairs with this type of post and if so can you post pictures?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1073" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:26:23.117" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T18:29:28.610" Title="How can I mount a gate at the top post of my stairs?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2251" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2253" CreationDate="2011-07-12T02:32:22.460" Score="4" ViewCount="19969" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1yr old son is still taking formula and 2nd foods because when we try most kinds of blended foods (foods with texture), he gags and throws up all over himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read quite a bit that this gag reflex is natural and he should be gagging as a reminder to shift the food around his mouth and chew.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, he is now refusing any foods with texture.  We can't even give him a cheerio without him locking his lips tight and pushing away with his hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help my son graduate to table food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1073" LastActivityDate="2016-04-20T14:30:23.130" Title="How can I keep my 1yr old from gagging and throwing up when eating solids?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2250" CreationDate="2011-07-12T06:39:08.103" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;it might not be pretty but have you considered screwing a plank onto the side of the post, with a spacer block at the top? You could easily mount a gate onto that plank. This probably works best if your post is rectangular when seen from above, less so if it's round.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've reused your illustration to clarify:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;  _()_&#xA;  |  |XX||&#xA;   ||   ||&#xA;   ||   ||&#xA;   ||   ||&#xA;  |  |  ||&#xA;  |  |  ||&#xA; |    | ||&#xA;|______|||&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-12T06:39:08.103" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2251" CreationDate="2011-07-12T07:21:53.477" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe he should not graduate from liquids to solids, but first from liquids to semi-solids and then on to solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soft fruit would probably make a good transition food, and mashed potatoes. Once he gets used to those, it will be a smaller step to move up to real solid foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="524" LastActivityDate="2011-07-12T07:21:53.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2242" CreationDate="2011-07-12T12:39:30.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My main issue here, is when we're driving and one of them fall asleep with their heads hanging.  I know there's no probable scietific research about it, but I worry it would interfere with their breathing, so we always, &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt;, reach over and right their heads.  We've now even bought seats which have cushions on the side, so they can safely, and comfortably rest their heads.  I don't know if there's an 'osteopathic' reasoning here, that they'll damage their necks, but it would worry me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-07-12T12:39:30.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2185" CreationDate="2011-07-12T12:53:06.013" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tricky one.  I don't like profanity around my kids, but the eldest (coming up 8) knows enough bad words, and can maturely act around the words.  The middle child is just expanding on speech so picks these things up very quickly.  I try to encourage the oldest one to see that swearing is just an extension of language, used mainly when stupid people have run out of the right words to say, when people are trying to elicit a reaction, or when people are trying to be funny.  I am trying to teach her that it's ok, sometimes, to use profanities, in the right context.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound extremely silly, but we also have a game where we try and insult each other, by putting together interesting words and not swearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid, I lived in Germany, on an Army base.  Aged 6 (I can quite clearly remember it), I was playing a game and when I lost, I was told the forfeit was to say something very rude (as I now know it to be), to a cantankerous old German woman who cleaned the officers houses.  I did, and she fair beat the crap out of me.  Taught me an interesting lesson...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't really swear; I am not really often in a situation in which swearing would add value to the situation, but I do understand that it is all about, and you shouldn't really keep it underground with a kid who is bright enough to get it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also teaching her that in other languages, swearing and insulting people is an interesting part of the culture.  In the 1960's, we lived in Hong Kong and I still marvel at how Cantonese people speak to each other.  Russians have an equally interesting take on insults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, my 8 year old is just starting to understand irony properly and, for me, it's a stepping stone to really getting into, really understanding languages.  I think profanity is similar in this fact too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:07:35.753" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:07:35.753" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2256" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-12T13:59:22.007" Score="6" ViewCount="2442" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I were going to plan our first family outing with our newborn. The easiest way for us to breastfeed is still with the breastfeeding pillow and a chair. So no hooter hiders quite yet and my wife is modest about whipping 'em out in public. We're trying to figure out online where/what stores might offer breastfeeding facilities. My google-fu is failing me.  Is there some place/way to find out (in the US) where we can breastfeed? Is there some common signage or online place where breastfeeding locations can be easily located so you can plan your day around feedings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T00:32:55.437" Title="Where/how can I find out about public breastfeeding facilities?" Tags="|breastfeeding|family-activities|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2256" CreationDate="2011-07-12T15:55:11.003" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know how complete their database is, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/whats-new/128/medela-goes-mobile&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;this iPhone app&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; provides a database of public locations with comments:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://nursingbling.com/2011/02/01/new-medela-iphone-app-helps-breastfeeding-moms/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;New Medela iPhone App Helps Breastfeeding Moms&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the Breastfeeding-Friendly Places feature, on-the-go moms can quickly locate a clean, comfortable place to breastfeed or breastpump. Driven by GPS navigation and Google Maps, the locator will include Medela reviewed and approved locations nationwide.  Moms can also submit their favorite public locations for breastfeeding and include comments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="163" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-07-12T15:55:11.003" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2260" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2262" CreationDate="2011-07-13T01:56:17.520" Score="3" ViewCount="797" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a future parent of twins I was glad to run across this site.  While looking through answered questions I ran across the, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/520/is-an-expensive-stroller-worth-it&quot;&gt;Is an expensive stroller worth it?&lt;/a&gt;, question.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking through some of the answers I realized that many of the brand names were completely new to me. And made me realize that the best brands may not necessarily have a huge presence on the web.  That brought about my question, What are some of the better &quot;parenting&quot;/&quot;baby product&quot; sites on the web?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this is something I could just search for endlessly on my own and everyone with a commercial interest would surface.  But I'm hoping for more trustworthy less profit driven outlets like the stack exchange.  Something like a &lt;em&gt;Consumer Reports&lt;/em&gt; for baby products that could introduce me to what's out there without an immediate profit motive would be well appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1286" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T16:02:39.423" Title="Are there any trustworthy, less profit-driven baby product review sites?" Tags="|infant|first-time|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-11-22T12:17:00.480" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2179" CreationDate="2011-07-13T02:10:31.243" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously the child knows he can be destructive and disrespectful and his father won't do anything about it.  From your question, it sounds like he may know you won't do anything about it either.  I think you need to be the adult and affirm you and your husband's roles as the owners of your residence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no reason you should not be able to take a firm voice with the child.  You don't need to yell or scream, just assert your control over the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't work, do not be afraid to institute a timeout (we like having our son stand in the corner).  You have every right to create a calm, safe environment in &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't go so far to recommend physical punishment for someone else's child.  Not that I'm against it, but unfortunately there are those that believe authorities should get involved with spanking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how to deal with the father, I think you need to take the same attitude as with the child and assert your control in &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1301" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T02:10:31.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2260" CreationDate="2011-07-13T05:13:05.547" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;To be honest, I don't think there is one.  I've found that Amazon reviews, when there are enough for a particular product to weed out the usual instances of flakiness, irrelevance, and such, are the best bet, simply because they do provide enough viewpoints that there will usually be a couple of gems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that in order to review products you need to &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; those products.  Either the reviewer spends a ton of money he/she will never make back, or he/she caters to companies that are throwing around lots of review samples, avoiding smaller, lesser-known companies that can't afford to send their 12 favorite bloggers 2k in free product every year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, a lot of people who enjoy doing reviews are what I call &quot;stuff people&quot; -- people who seem to get a sense of comfort or satisfaction from having a thing for every occasion, task, activity, and so on.  Great reviews of simple, inexpensive multi-tasking tools are a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; harder to come by than reviews of overpriced, overly specialized, overly complicated tools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T05:13:05.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2251" CreationDate="2011-07-13T07:57:34.557" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Practice. Give him some kind of food to suck on(strawberries come to mind) so he can simply suck the food away. Put the food between his lips without him chewing or biting pieces off and let him get used to the great taste that comes with more solid kind of foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T07:57:34.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2260" CreationDate="2011-07-13T08:08:17.777" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One book my wife liked a lot is &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1889392340&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Baby 411&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1889392340&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/6vg87.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Baby 411&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Companion website at &lt;a href=&quot;https://windsorpeak.com/sites/baby411/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://windsorpeak.com/sites/baby411/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It covers a ton of new parent ground without being overtly preachy or commercial. It's safe to start with this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, she recommended &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycheapskate.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.babycheapskate.com&lt;/a&gt; as one of the better baby product recommendation blogs, though it is squarely in the commercial category.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T08:08:17.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2260" CreationDate="2011-07-13T08:26:34.590" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome Randolph! This answer may not be useful to you but I'm posting it for the benefit of others:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For the German-language region,&lt;/strong&gt; one very popular site is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.at/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parents.at&lt;/a&gt; - containing content on a very wide range of topics and featuring a forum and several other tools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T08:26:34.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2260" CreationDate="2011-07-13T09:42:00.727" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK (so may not be much use to you) we have Which?: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.which.co.uk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.which.co.uk&lt;/a&gt;, it requires a paid subscription to access, but they do have fairly comprehensive reviews of various baby and child products, and they claim to be completely independent of any manufacturers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="802" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T09:42:00.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2011-07-13T10:45:02.597" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used the sleeping bag type outfits - you know, the ones with holes for arms and head. These not only removed any possibility of removing the nappy, but also stopped our kids waking up because the had kicked their covers off, and stopped them getting out of bed at 4 in the morning and wandering!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(they learned to climb out of a cot at a very early age, so this was essential, the little monkeys)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T10:45:02.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2181" CreationDate="2011-07-13T10:47:57.477" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm still scared of ponies and I'm 40! Couple of the girls at school used to ride them to school so they'd be tethered up in the bike sheds - aggressive little things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway - I wouldn't force her. If she asks to learn, support her and help her through the fears by pointing out the good things and avoiding drawing attention to the fact they are big, heavy, fast, can kick and bite etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T10:47:57.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2185" CreationDate="2011-07-13T15:06:16.487" Score="4" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Although there are social situations where profanity is acceptable, those are often uniquely suited to adult venues (bars, some sporting events, etc.), but in general, profanity in everyday use is frowned upon. My children can't understand this conceptually, and until they can, I would rather they simply not use profanity. When they are older they can decide whether or not the stigma is worth it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Profanity is often used as a way to vent anger or frustration, or even express joy. As adults we may perceive this to be a healthy outlet, but for children especially, it is better to get them to explain exactly why they are feeling the way that they are in order to help with emotional and language development.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Personally, I find that people that use profanity in the course of general conversation have difficulty expressing themselves otherwise, and this prevents me from understanding exactly the point they are trying to make. It's like someone is shouting at you all the time, or writes all emails in caps. It brings with it a constant air of bitterness... I don't want other children and adults to think my child is bitter and jaded.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1304" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T15:06:16.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="410" CreationDate="2011-07-13T17:13:23.240" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a wonderful book called &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0465036961&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Killing Monsters by Gerard Jones&lt;/a&gt;. It was a paradigm shift for me in terms of children and violence. He discusses the research and the value in allowing children to have fantasy violence in their lives. If you take the time to delineate between fantasy and reality (one of the chapters in the book), all will be well!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1306" LastEditorUserId="1483" LastEditDate="2012-01-16T20:55:47.303" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T20:55:47.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2271" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2272" CreationDate="2011-07-13T19:57:02.837" Score="17" ViewCount="110997" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm exclusively breastfeeding my baby, and occasionally give him pumped bottles. I generally try to warm them up before giving them to him, at least to room temperature. (I was once told as a tip to get babies used to room-temperature bottles right away, just in case sometime you don't have a way to heat it up...) Sometimes, though, he is frantically crying as I'm trying to warm up the bottle... Is it ok to give him a cold bottle? He doesn't seem to mind, and drinks the whole thing. Are there any problems with feeding a 2-3 month old a cold bottle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:23:49.527" LastActivityDate="2017-09-18T13:23:22.390" Title="Can I give my baby a bottle of breastmilk straight from the fridge?" Tags="|infant|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2271" CreationDate="2011-07-13T20:13:35.170" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest risk is that the baby won't drink it.  If your baby is content to drink cold milk, then it is perfectly fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I couldn't find any online resources from medical professionals discussing it, but I did find that &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycenter.com/post/a9440535/feeding_baby_cold_breast_milk&quot;&gt;you are not alone&lt;/a&gt; in your situation :)  Lots of other mothers have had this same dilemma, and many in that discussion shared that they have not run into any problems (aside from some babies simply not liking their milk cold).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit: I found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/while-working/storing-transporting-breast-milk&quot;&gt;this link&lt;/a&gt; which references a chart that indicates how long breast milk can be stored at room temperature.  Depending upon your pumping schedule, you may be able to simply keep a bottle out for that &quot;I need food &lt;em&gt;NOW&lt;/em&gt;&quot; moment.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-10-24T12:31:06.750" LastActivityDate="2011-10-24T12:31:06.750" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2273" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-13T21:33:31.767" Score="5" ViewCount="16101" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for good television shows for a seven-to-eight-year-old. Of course, &quot;good&quot; is very vague, so I'll give some examples of what I consider not good, and, while many of you will differ and consider them good, I'd appreciate your putting aside that opinion and instead addressing the question according to mine. &lt;code&gt;:-)&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not good shows include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Luck_Charlie&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Good Luck Charlie&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. I turned it on only once and found that the episode was (partially) about dating and a character called another &quot;hot Jake&quot;. Totally not appropriate for an eight-year-old. In fact, Disney Channel shows in general are no good AFAICT, for the same reason.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SpongeBob_SquarePants&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;SpongeBob SquarePants&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. Besides the age issue (it's on too low a &quot;reading level&quot;, if you will), it also heavily features characters insulting each other gratuitously. Again, not appropriate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pink_Panther_Show&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The original animated &lt;em&gt;The Pink Panther Show&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. Violent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good shows include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Andy_Griffith_Show&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Andy Griffith Show&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, which, as far as I recall, was just plain, clean fun. (I could be misremembering, though. I haven't seen it in a while.) Alas, it's not on here.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any others?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1307" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:22:54.397" LastActivityDate="2018-09-18T21:50:01.250" Title="What TV shows are wholesome for primary-schoolers?" Tags="|age-appropriate|television|" AnswerCount="18" CommentCount="12" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2260" CreationDate="2011-07-13T21:38:22.137" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Something like a &lt;em&gt;Consumer Reports&lt;/em&gt; for baby products that could introduce me to what's out there without an immediate profit motive would be well appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How about... &lt;em&gt;Consumer Reports&lt;/em&gt;? It does have a bunch of baby stuff, though perhaps not everything you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want to subscribe, you may be able to find a couple of years' back issues in your local library, and the index at the back of each issue indicates which issue has information on whatever product type you seek.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1307" LastEditorUserId="1307" LastEditDate="2015-11-20T16:02:39.423" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T16:02:39.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-13T23:59:36.850" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a child, I liked:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Looney Tunes&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Tom and Jerry  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're always funny and entertaining. Other options include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Paddington Bear(Very cute, very amusing)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Charlie Chaplain?(I watched that when I was a kid, didn't understand half of the things they were gabbling, but enjoyed his antics anyway)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or just try books. Books are much better. Stimulates and enhances the imagination. Makes one cleverer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="816" LastActivityDate="2011-07-13T23:59:36.850" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-14T07:54:10.330" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7/8 year old and you'll be amazed about what they want to watch.  She'll happily sit through any program the youngest watches (Dora etc), but when she gets a choice, will choose a nature program or something like Wizards of Waverley Place.  I'd rather face up to difficult conversations with the kids at home, watching with them, than the alternatives.  The trouble, for me, now, is that most things are sexualised on TV and there is so much inappropriate content on &quot;kids'&quot; TV that the only reliable choice, if you want to avoid it, is no TV at all.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not so bad now, as it is summer and we try and keep them out of the house on nice days and the kids all read lots, but, even kids' films now have adult innuendo all plumbed in, and a clever kid will see through it, and ask questions.  I know mine do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I don't think there's much on, for an 8 year old, that I'd consider good, that they'll 'want' to watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be truthful, kids' TV is a lot more moralistic than it as when I was a kid.  Most shows now, will have an angle on them, which inevitably is a 'good' one.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is one of the most difficult situations parents are in today, as it seems everyone wants kids to grow up quicker than we do.  This leads to inappropriate content on TV, radio, books, magazines and everything.  Have you seen a pop video of late?  Lady Gaga, Rhianna?  That wouldn't get on TV when I was a kid, not in the daytime.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:06:47.427" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:06:47.427" CommentCount="5" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-14T08:06:05.577" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Hairy that anything on TV is usually too violent or mature, even when aimed at kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider renting/buying DVD collections of films or TV shows you deem suitable. I'm hoping that older shows like &lt;strong&gt;The Muppet Show&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;Sesame Street&lt;/strong&gt; are available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-14T08:06:05.577" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2271" CreationDate="2011-07-14T08:15:31.523" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, you can feed your baby a &lt;strong&gt;room-temperature&lt;/strong&gt; bottle.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;No, you should not feed your baby a &lt;strong&gt;fridge-temperature&lt;/strong&gt; bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason is that infants are very small bodies, so temperature differences are more significant to them than to older kids or adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants can't handle a steaming hot cup of tea, just like they can't handle milk that's just a few degrees above freezing. The closer to the natural body-temperature their food is, the easier they can handle it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, the same idea applies to bath water. (For bathing, not drinking!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-14T08:15:31.523" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-14T12:15:16.537" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest the Science Channel, if you have it.  While some nature shows are great, some feature a lot of violence (predation) and other mature themes (death, illness, mating, etc.), so you'll have to use your discretion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a friend who watches &lt;a href=&quot;http://science.discovery.com/tv/how-its-made&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How It's Made&lt;/a&gt; (the entire Science Channel site appears to be down, however, so I'm not sure if that's merely temporary) constantly with his two sons, and it seems to be both interesting, and safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-07-14T12:15:16.537" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-14T12:48:36.277" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can highly recommend the &lt;strong&gt;Magic School Bus&lt;/strong&gt;.  Sadly, there's no good streaming sources for it, but the DVD's are excellent.  Informative, Interesting and entertaining, each episode generally focuses on some area of science (&quot;Dinosaurs&quot;, &quot;The Solar System&quot;, &quot;Gravity&quot;, etc).  The TV episodes are based on a excellence series of books by Joanna Cole.  I think the class is 1st or 2nd graders.  It doesn't hurt that the Theme song is by Little Richard.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Magic_School_Bus_%28TV_series%29&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Magic School Bus on Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="899" LastActivityDate="2011-07-14T12:48:36.277" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2250" CreationDate="2011-07-15T02:14:40.500" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the recent past, searching for a &quot;puppy gate&quot; at the time.  I saw a gate in which all four posts had adjustable with bolts to help when mounting to uneven surfaces.  It was a lot like &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000XT30G4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; which also has an awkward bannister setup and I believe may illustrate TorbenGB♦'s suggestion as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS:&#xA;Awesome ASCII art!!!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1286" LastActivityDate="2011-07-15T02:14:40.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2282" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2286" CreationDate="2011-07-15T03:31:34.113" Score="11" ViewCount="141841" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4-month old daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each time she is awake she gets some &quot;tummy-time&quot; where we put her on her stomach on a play-mat, to build up her neck muscles.  She doesn't like it that much and usually ends up crying after a few minutes of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, when we hold her so she is facing us, against our chest, she often jerks her head back like she doesn't enjoy being held that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we have noticed her neck support getting stronger, there's still a small amount of wobble there and we have to support it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age should we expect her to be able to support her head without any support?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any other exercises other than tummy-time we can do to improve her strength?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Update&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter will be 5 months in about a week's time and we have noticed a big improvement in her head control/strength over the past few weeks.  I would say she has about 90% head control now.  Thanks for all of your great answers!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1309" LastEditorUserId="1309" LastEditDate="2011-08-07T09:53:04.140" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T16:10:28.713" Title="At what age should my baby be expected to support her own head?" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2282" CreationDate="2011-07-15T05:43:29.840" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally babies necks will be strong enough to support its own head at around 6 months. So you've got a couple to go. There are some small exercises you can do with the baby to help the neck get stronger, here's one I liked the look of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;While the baby is on its back, sit in front of it and hold its hands. Lift the baby up gently towards you by its hands and put it back down again carefully. Do this once or twice a day and your baby's neck will begin to get stronger.&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't do this more than once or twice a day, and if you don't like the sound of it, your baby's neck will be fine in another couple of months anyway :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1167" LastActivityDate="2011-07-15T05:43:29.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2282" CreationDate="2011-07-15T06:10:02.537" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The fact that she jerks her head back is not necessarily a sign of dislike. It could also very well be that she just has not yet evolved enough accurate motor control for smaller and/or slower movements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An infant's head is incredibly heavy - to the infant. &lt;em&gt;Tummy-time&lt;/em&gt; is fine as long as she doesn't suffocate herself. Generally though, don't force physical training on newborns and infants, at least not until the child shows signs of sufficient neck muscle strength. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let their bodies do the training at the speed that nature intended: Infants learn to move their head, while lying on their backs. Then they learn to turn over on their belly. Then they learn to lift their head. All of this trains their neck muscles, until they're finally able to control their head fully and without support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-15T06:10:02.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2282" CreationDate="2011-07-15T07:06:52.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the general rule of thumb is that by about 6 months they should be able to support it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a link to Babycentre:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/development/headcontrol/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby centre Head control&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously each baby is going to develop at their own speed.  I'd also say that the strength your baby is showing is completely normal for its age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:07:53.177" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:07:53.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2282" CreationDate="2011-07-15T08:36:00.083" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;On most developmental profiles, full head control is achieved by around five months.  However, all children are different, so some develop head control sooner, some a little later.  If a child doesn't have a reasonable degree of head control by 7 months, then I would refer her for a developmental check, but your daughter sounds pretty much on track at the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies have an innate interest in making eye - contact and for looking at faces in general, so the best activity to foster head control is to sit her on your knee, supporting her so that you are face - to - face and go for some interaction time. - This will encourage her to hold her head up to look at your face.  Place one hand behind her head though, so that her head can't flop too far back.  This is a technique we use with children who have developmental disabilities, but it is equally applicable to uninjured babies too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-19T12:47:29.053" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T12:47:29.053" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2181" CreationDate="2011-07-15T12:03:29.423" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started them off by taking them on Donkey rides.  I don't know why, I have no scientific explanation, but DOnkeys were considered OK by the kids as affable, kind, gentle thinhgs, whilst Horses highly strung.  Once they gained enopugh confidence from donkey rides, we took them to a small stable who did rides around a sandy yard, and from there, they now ride happily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest the donkey route, but read some Winnie the Pooh to her forst, especially that old loveable softy Eeyore&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-07-15T12:03:29.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-15T14:11:53.573" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the comments on the old Hanna Barbera shows, I loved Pink Panther and Yogi Bear and others growing up, they didn't affect me much but compared to some of the kids shows today they seem to be more violent.  Lots of gun play going on, and while I don't find that really that disturbing, its a different world these days so I am strict with some of the shows.  There are Pink Panther episodes that tend to be rather tame, more trickery than violence and some of the Show Collections I have are ok, my son likes it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some others I have had success with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How It's Made, is good as noted previous, it's interesting and moves fast so it keeps my son's attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mythbusters, some of what they do is fun, and it does move slow in certain spots, but the explosions keep my son's interest and since they always mention safety and science I think its ok&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Iron Chef/Food Channel, my son likes cooking shows a lot, so I let him watch those when he has the mood on him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Thomas is a good one, if your son likes trains, though mine seems to be moving away from it just like he did with Dragon Tails and Sagwa; those similar type shows were good&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sesame Street and Elmo are good, when we don't let him watch on TV we let him watch ones we borrow from the library, your may have a good selection (at least in some parts of the US I don't know about the rest of the world)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dora and Diego are good, Diego speaks more to my son now than he did before&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kai-Lan, since my son is half Chinese he has some exposure to Mandarin and sometimes likes watching Kai-Lan&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some older series that he didn't mind, which I am ok since violence is at a minimum and keeps a boys attention - Thundarr the Barbarian, Thundercats, He-Man or even Voltron (or similar 80's type robot shows).  In the US the cartoons made at the time were heavily influenced to be blood-free, even when someone died it was rare and blood was rarely shown.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have similar reservations with shows like SpongeBob that seem to be more about grossness than anything, even ones like Transformers that I liked growing up are all product/toy tie-ins now.  We really limit actual tv show watching, it is a treat if anything, so most watching is DVD's or foreign language shows that really have little violence in them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-07-15T14:11:53.573" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1856" CreationDate="2011-07-15T14:36:55.927" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;After a few weeks of trying out different strategies we've settled on something that didn't even occur to me: We are freezing 100% of the milk, flat, in Lansinoh Breast Milk Storage Bags. Because we are freezing the milk flat there is a massive amount of surface area so the milk thaws almost instantaneously under hot water from the faucet. I am no longer worrying about having to wait for the milk to thaw during an &quot;emergency&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastActivityDate="2011-07-15T14:36:55.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2292" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2295" CreationDate="2011-07-15T14:39:40.433" Score="3" ViewCount="9688" Body="&lt;p&gt;My infant sometimes bubbles from the mouth. When he does this he doesn't seem to be distressed but I end up constantly having to wipe his mouth. Could this be because I am not burping him enough? Does this happen to other people?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T15:20:14.893" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T09:52:04.587" Title="Why does my baby have bubbles around the mouth?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2293" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2296" CreationDate="2011-07-15T15:02:43.573" Score="4" ViewCount="43080" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has noticed that my 10 month old son sometimes starts to twitch his leg.  It only lasts for a couple of seconds, and is infrequent enough that I have yet to witness it.  She described it as uncontrolled shaking of the leg, and it seems to happen most frequently during feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had read that such shaking is normal in newborns, as it is part of their nervous system developing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it normal that it continues to happen (albeit rarely) at 10 months?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-11-06T00:43:35.613" Title="Are shaking legs something to be worried about?" Tags="|infant|health|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2292" CreationDate="2011-07-16T01:37:17.993" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It happened with my kids.  They were always drooling, bubbling, and dripping with snot.  Slugs are cleaner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="487" LastActivityDate="2011-07-16T01:37:17.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2292" CreationDate="2011-07-16T03:51:49.987" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Saliva and breathing sometimes can be a recipe for bubbles. It is quite normal.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Take a picture of it when a large one pops up and have  laugh about it with your kid when he grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-26T09:52:04.587" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T09:52:04.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2293" CreationDate="2011-07-16T04:38:49.240" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It happened to our daughter from 2 to 3 months and only when she was asleep. (both arms and legs were shaking at times)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Awake, in situations of stress, her chin was shaking like someone who feels cold and we learned later that it was the same cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you said it happens to babies developing their nervous system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But we went to a doctor (for a completely different matter) and it happened that our daughter was sleeping at that time and the doctor noticed the shaking. He looked very alarmed and told us this was potentially a problem (lack of calcium or some form of infant epilepsy, I forgot the name)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shaking can be a lot of things: dream, some kind of stress...etc. If not frequent, I would personally ignore it but if it continues (or if you witness it and feel alarmed) just go see a doctor. Just keep an eye on her to see how it evolves and don't hesitate to consult is you're worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastActivityDate="2011-07-16T04:38:49.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2297" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2298" CreationDate="2011-07-16T13:39:10.047" Score="7" ViewCount="6391" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2-year-old daughter and now we expect a baby in November. After the initial few months, when the newborn will be sleeping in our bedroom, we could  put both children in one room together. Are there any reasons against that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing that comes to my mind is safety - is the older one not going to do something silly yet dangerous to the little one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-16T18:39:37.053" LastActivityDate="2019-01-16T18:39:37.053" Title="Why not let a toddler share a bedroom with a baby?" Tags="|toddler|infant|safety|siblings|bedroom|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2297" CreationDate="2011-07-16T18:46:21.527" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the elder sibling has a history of being careless, hostile, or inconsiderate toward other children that might be a reason to worry about safety, but otherwise I'd expect it to be &lt;strong&gt;generally safe.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd rather think it would be &lt;strong&gt;more of a practical problem,&lt;/strong&gt; in terms of the two children having different bedtimes, and one of them waking the other one up at various times during the night, and similar disruptions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-16T18:46:21.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2299" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2308" CreationDate="2011-07-17T21:02:03.310" Score="3" ViewCount="6974" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's back is ~35cm. &#xA;As I understand, the backpack should have the same height, but we have found one that is 32cm wide x 37cm tall x 17cm deep, 900 grams. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those extra 2cm height are okay, but there is another option: 32 x 38 x 22 cm, 980 grams. &#xA;Is 38cm too tall? He will grow soon, so maybe that's fine.&#xA;But what about 22 cm depth, isn't that too much for a 1st grader? They don't have so many books, I suppose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1314" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:14:32.273" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T00:08:48.647" Title="What size schoolbag is good for a first-grader?" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-17T22:41:52.617" Score="11" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NOVA&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Nature&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scholastic.com/magicschoolbus/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Magic School Bus&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/mythbusters/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mythbusters&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anything else educational and promotes learning&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son and I watch many of the documentaries that are on Netflix instant. There are many sites online where you can watch documentaries for free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids do not need to fill their heads with junk. They need to be built up to learn to respect the knowledge that will help them help make this world great. I grew up watching the Discovery Channel when I was a kid, but it is now mostly junk. I think PBS is great. Get an antenna if you don't have one, most PBS stations will broadcast multiple channels over digital airwaves. Whatever you do, foster his desire for knowledge and discovery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="732" LastEditorUserId="732" LastEditDate="2012-10-05T19:29:55.860" LastActivityDate="2012-10-05T19:29:55.860" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2301" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2304" CreationDate="2011-07-18T05:24:54.613" Score="25" ViewCount="49231" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's day 2 and we've been trying to always have 1 of us awake at all times watching the baby so that we're never both sleeping at the same time.  Does a newborn need to be watched 24/7 or am I just stressing out over nothing?  The baby is sleeping in the same room as us, but I'm worried about sleeping through the crying or any problems where she doesn't cry that I need to watch out for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1311" LastActivityDate="2019-11-20T04:11:29.560" Title="Is it okay for both parents to be asleep at the same time?" Tags="|newborn|first-time|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2301" CreationDate="2011-07-18T06:18:17.813" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;If both of you sleep in close proximity to the baby, so that you can hear her cry or even mumble when she does, you'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your &quot;Something Odd Detection System&quot; will be on 11 even when you're sleeping, in the first months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="524" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T06:18:17.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2301" CreationDate="2011-07-18T07:33:59.013" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You'll be surprised how alert you can be in an instant.  It is almost as if you are sleeping, but you are not.  We have a new born (our 3rd) and you get used to what sounds are ordinary and which aren't.  She's 4 weeks old and actually did a proper cry, for the first time, a few nights ago and we both jumped out of bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just take time to get to know their noises, to know their snuffles, their sqeaks, everything they do, and you'll become very aware, very quickly about who they are.  All of mine were different.  This one actually sounds a bit like a baby animal in the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the day, we move her around in a moses basket and leave her by the dishwasher, washing machine (they seem to love noise near them, that's fairly consistent) and we'll both catch a bit of shut eye.  Trust me, you'll hear her.  As Roy said, your senses are around about 11 at the moment, especially if it is your first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But most of all, your child will benefit the most from having alert parents around and for that, you both need a good amount of sleep and I'd advise you get it when you can.  Lie in the same room as him/her and you'll love listening to him/her and will doze off as content as you'll ever have been.  Enjoy it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="581" LastEditDate="2011-07-18T07:41:42.087" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T07:41:42.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2301" CreationDate="2011-07-18T07:37:59.770" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, it's okay for both parents to sleep at the same time,&lt;/strong&gt; for several reasons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The human mind is finely tuned to the sound of crying babies, you'll be surprised at what you can hear subconsciously while you sleep. Our pediatrician wisely commented that newborns have only one desire - to grow older - so you can be sure they'll tell you if something is bothering them enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another reason to sleep together is that parents need to take care of each other too. If you always put the baby first, then you'll burn out. You can only care for the baby when you're &lt;strike&gt;adequately&lt;/strike&gt; &lt;strike&gt;reasonably&lt;/strike&gt; &lt;em&gt;sort of&lt;/em&gt; rested and balanced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only situation where &quot;keeping watch&quot; might be sensible is if you're very worried about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002533/&quot;&gt;SIDS&lt;/a&gt;. The problem is that &quot;sudden&quot; really means &quot;science has no idea what causes this and there seem to be no symptoms&quot;, so nobody can say if &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; child is more/less at risk. For parents that are worried specifically about SIDS there are products like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.angelcare-monitor.com/United-States/en/products&quot;&gt;Angel Care&lt;/a&gt; but mostly you've just got to accept that you can't prevent some things. &#xA;Also, as KennyPeanuts points out, SIDS is very rare and often misunderstood to include suffocation from objects (teddys, pillows, blankets) so be sure to have a safe crib those first few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-26T17:54:46.533" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T17:54:46.533" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2305" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2315" CreationDate="2011-07-18T07:38:41.463" Score="17" ViewCount="127575" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we have a family meal, the middle daughter will always take her time.  I mean up to 2 hours, to finish a meal, especially if its not her kind of food.  She'll get very easily distracted, sing to herself, sometimes she'll even fall asleep.  Even if it's a meal she likes, she does take her own sweet time at it.  I am getting a little stressed about it, but obviously don't want to make too much of an issue of it. Wife suggests she'll get over this stage, that's she's being smart by trying to get us to either help her eat it, which she likes, or to let her off eating it, which I have done.  But I am nto too sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice over a child who eats so very slowly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's 4, coming on 5, and will eat everything, eventually, but dinner has become a drag sitting around with her waiting for her to finish...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:07:03.053" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T03:29:25.147" Title="Why does my child eat so slowly?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|eating|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2297" CreationDate="2011-07-18T07:46:52.880" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would worry about this.  We have a newborn, and one aged 4/5, one 8.  All girls.  Each of them is caring and considerate.  However, the youngest just wants to cuddle her and kiss her all the time.  To do this, she'll actually sometimes put her hand down and lean on the child.  At the moment we're obviously allowing the close contact, but watching like hawks and trying to educate her that the baby is small, and cannot take any weight on her, that she shouldn't smother her with affection too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no way I would allow the baby, even up to 1 year old, in the same room at night, as kids simply do not know how very fragile a baby is and I cannot put my hand on my heart and say I know the 4 year old would not get up in the middle of the night and try and pick the baby up, cuddle her, etc.  The actual thought if this is making me feel a bit ill, to be frank, and I am not prone to hyperbole.  It worries me just thinking of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 8 year old is wonderful with her, and obviously is intelligent enough to know how careful she has to be, but there's no way I would consider putting a baby/toddler with a 2 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd advise you were very careful if you did, but it is not something I would ever consider, especially with what I have seen first hand.  The very worst thing is that my middle one, just wants to love the new sister, and it's this love that could end up hurting her the most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:07:32.277" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:07:32.277" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2299" CreationDate="2011-07-18T07:54:07.023" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I would choose the one that is flatter&lt;/strong&gt; because it would not pull backward so much even when it's heavy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not so much the size of the bag that matters, but what you put in it. If you're worried that he'll be carrying too much weight, then choose a &lt;strong&gt;wide but flat&lt;/strong&gt; bag, to keep the weight close to his back and not pull him backward too much. It can even be wider than his shoulders. If the child says it feels comfortable on his back, then it's usually good enough as long as it's not overloaded. if it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; overloaded, then basically no bag is good enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One cool thing I see schoolkids with these days are &lt;strong&gt;school trolleys&lt;/strong&gt; - trolleys didn't exist back in my days but they seem to be a smart choice. You can pack more weight in them without affecting the child's back/spine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/0Rpp8.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T07:54:07.023" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2011-07-18T12:56:27.527" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main issues you'll have is that the elder sister/brother will be the focus of the younger one for many years and this grates with the older child.  Our 8 year old is really fed up with the 4 year old wanting to do everything with her, I mean everything. We try explaining that she just wants to be like her, but to an 8 year, this is a royal PITA.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I come from a very large family with age gaps of 2 years between all the children.  We still knocked lumps out of each other on a daily basis, into our late teens.  The Eldest is 14 years older than me, yet was expected to be 'the parent' if the parents were not around.  We've never had issues with each other about this.  We're also as close now, as we were then, very close now, all of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think, per se, that there is an ideal age gap; they will fight, they will resent each other.  They are, after all, kids and will naturally think they are being hard done by...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="581" LastEditDate="2011-07-18T13:34:50.877" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T13:34:50.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2187" CreationDate="2011-07-18T14:51:36.873" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When she climbs out of her crib, &lt;strong&gt;it's time to get her a different bed&lt;/strong&gt;. Climbing is easier than  getting down safely. As she'll climb out anyway, make it safe by getting her a bed that isn't dangerous to get out off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the getting out, put her back (repeatedly if needed) as answered by others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1117" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T14:51:36.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2305" CreationDate="2011-07-18T15:19:56.913" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Slow eating is healthy: &lt;a href=&quot;http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/slow-eating-cuts-calories/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;it cuts number of calories we consume&lt;/a&gt; and prevents overeating. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mediterranean-diet/CL00011&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mediterranean diet&lt;/a&gt; is considered to be one of the healthiest, and Mediterranean people do take their time to eat.  The pace of the modern world encourages us to eat fast and this is not good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever possible let you daughter eat as much as she wants as long as she wants. I don't see why you have to stay with her the whole length of the meal and feed her: normal child (without eating disorders) this age should be able to feed herself if she is hungry, they will not starve themselves. &#xA;I think letting her off eating food she does not like is a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T15:19:56.913" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2312" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2318" CreationDate="2011-07-18T15:43:17.787" Score="2" ViewCount="170357" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a child was born today,  which is July 18th and the third Monday of July, would he or she become one month old on August 18th or the third Monday in August (August 22)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T20:06:17.173" LastActivityDate="2016-04-27T01:02:19.890" Title="Do you use number of weeks or day of the month to determine an infant's birthday?" Tags="|newborn|development|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2297" CreationDate="2011-07-18T16:08:53.383" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had our children (3 and 1) sleeping together for months, and haven't had any trouble with it at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't do it unless they both have the same bedtime, though, or unless one of them is a very sound sleeper. We're lucky enough to have both: our kids both go to bed at the same time, but the toddler takes a while to wind down, and will talk to himself or play quietly in his room until he actually falls asleep. The younger goes to sleep right away, and sleeps through all of this activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If either child is a very light sleeper or still wakes up frequently crying loudly, then you might want to consider waiting. However, outside of that scenario I think it would be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="566" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T16:08:53.383" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2312" CreationDate="2011-07-18T16:10:56.923" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We always did it by day of the month, since months don't all have the same number of days we went from date of month to date of month.  So in your example a baby born on July 18 would be one month old on August 18.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T16:10:56.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2305" CreationDate="2011-07-18T16:16:13.010" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Same with my oldest boy lately, he can spend hours (if we let him) eating one bite.  We just figure it's some sort of control issue or something with him and basically have just set a time for him to eat, if he doesn't want to finish or eat a lot then he needs to wait until the next meal.  If he is really hungry either he can have water, or something healthy like fresh fruit, at night its mostly water, I have also cut down on what goes onto his plate - he complains he doesn't have a lot.  Yet, I answer him back - if you eat that, you can have more.  Besides he never eats much on some meals, but seems to make up for it during the day.  He used to eat more in the afternoon as well, which I think originally started the issue and we cut him down on mid-afternoon snacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure there is no excessive snacking going on during the afternoon.  My eldest also likes the we feed him bit, probably to be more like his younger brother who we are feeding since he is a toddler.  With us its the same, my wife feeds him and I let him off, but I don't give anything extra afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be a stage, but so long as the child is eating enough during the day due to other meals, and some snacks, then at least nutritionally things are ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T16:16:13.010" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2301" CreationDate="2011-07-18T16:27:05.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we had our first, we would check on her many times throughout the night. Everyone told us that we were being silly but we'd still check every time she made a noise (or worse, didn't). After a while, we bought an Anglecare baby monitor that included a motion detector - if the child stops breathing, then an alarm sounds.  It is probably overkill, but it allowed us to get a decent night's sleep, a rare commodity with a young baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T16:27:05.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2305" CreationDate="2011-07-18T16:52:51.663" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Decide how much this bothers you. If not a lot, then as Michael said cut down on between-meal snacks and let her eat as long as it takes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to change this habit (I would), then &lt;strong&gt;set a timer for the meal and when it runs out, the meal ends - regardless whether she was finished or not.&lt;/strong&gt; After a few such experiences, she'll get the hang of it. And you won't be starving her, don't worry. There are plenty of meals during the day to make up for it. The point is to show that each meal does not last indefinitely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course explain this rule in advance. As a reason for the rule you can say that even though she may have all the time in the world, the rest of the family does not. Baby needs to play/sleep/etc. and mommy/daddy need to clean/work/ etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T16:52:51.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2312" CreationDate="2011-07-18T16:58:13.613" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a trick question. Each month does not consist of a whole (integer) number of weeks, except February, or equal number of days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just &lt;strong&gt;choose what you like best and stick with that.&lt;/strong&gt; I would choose the n'th of the month and say &lt;em&gt;my birthday is on the 18th&lt;/em&gt;, because that's the easiest for everybody. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only exception is if your birthday is February 29th. Then you need to know that the 29th is not actually the leap day, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_24&quot;&gt;the 25th is!&lt;/a&gt; So in non-leap years your birthday is Feb 28th, not March 1st. If your birthday is on the actual leap day (25th) then I guess the 26th will do as birthday in non-leap years.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Counting weeks&lt;/strong&gt; is only relevant for infants, when you see the pediatrician. He'll know anyway, so don't bother about that. Once the child is 8 weeks old, switch to counting months. Once he's 24 months old, switch to counting (half) years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-05-30T19:18:22.317" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T19:18:22.317" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2319" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2376" CreationDate="2011-07-18T17:17:41.193" Score="10" ViewCount="16331" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is nearly two years old. We have had a solid bedtime routine forever, and we make sure to wind him down before bedtime. Lately though, he doesn't want to go to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He follows the bedtime routine just fine and without objections, but the moment we leave the room he starts crying until we come back. He doesn't want to get out and play, but he acts as if he's not tired, even though we can tell that he is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that seems to work (not always) is to stay with him, but we don't want to encourage that because we need those last few hours of the day to ourselves. If we let him direct us, it takes more than an hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:57:27.317" LastActivityDate="2014-03-23T13:21:05.077" Title="Why does my toddler cry when he's put to bed?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2319" CreationDate="2011-07-18T18:13:27.957" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If we let him direct us ..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is the key concept, who is in charge. This isn't about being sleepy, or about the routine, it is about testing, limits, and defiance. This is the age when they begin doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I didn't care if our daughter actually SLEPT, as long as she left us alone after bedtime. If she wasn't that tired and wanted to play in her room, that was fine as long as she did so in her room without bothering us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to let him cry. If he leaves his room, put him back, telling him that after bedtime he needs to stay in his room. If he gets out again, put him back again, and take his favorite toy with you. Eventually, he may need to be locked in. I flipped the lock on my daughter's bedroom door to allow us to lock her in. If you use corporal punishment, it can be effective in this situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, don't allow this drill to become an extended routine. After the first few days, go directly to confining him in the room. He isn't stupid, he should have learned the rule, even if he is choosing not to follow it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to be patient, persistent and consistent, and you need to not yell or act out yourself. Just do what you need to do and get on with your evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T18:13:27.957" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2312" CreationDate="2011-07-18T19:34:17.627" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being an engineer who works on things like recurring payments, I tend to over-engineer the answer for my wife's liking. A month it turns out is really really close to 30.5 days. So I tend to use that. Which means each month is either 30 or 31 days... alternating. (note that this is much easier to use when using a date calculator that will let you just say &quot;2007-08-07 + (30.5 * 18)&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T19:34:17.627" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-18T21:18:38.147" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure kids TV is any more violence than it was 20/30 years ago. Bugs bunny is as insulting as Spongebob. The pink panther is as 'violent' as Adventure Time. The difference is that you're now an adult and just see things differently. And 40/50 years ago it was plenty of 'cowboys and indians' as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, given that your example of what is acceptable is rather narrow, I'd say you'll want to stick with whatever is on PBS and maybe a few of the Mythbusters/Dirty Jobs type things. As for older classics, my kids love Get Smart. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that if your kids have friends, they will watch Nickelodeon and Disney. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T21:18:38.147" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2323" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2330" CreationDate="2011-07-18T23:13:29.783" Score="6" ViewCount="10737" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read somewhere that you get exposed to a non-negligible amount of radiation from the sun when you travel by air. Would this affect an unborn child's fragile DNA?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1319" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-14T10:52:24.787" LastActivityDate="2017-08-21T08:57:57.477" Title="Is cosmic radiation a concern for a pregnant airplane passenger?" Tags="|health|travel|pregnancy|flying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2323" CreationDate="2011-07-18T23:41:34.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For reasonable amounts of air travel, radiation levels are too low to be a concern (per the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/air-travel-during-pregnancy/AN00398&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Decreased air pressure during flight may slightly reduce the amount of&#xA;  oxygen in your blood, but this isn't likely to cause problems if&#xA;  you're otherwise healthy. Likewise, the radiation exposure associated&#xA;  with air travel at high altitudes isn't thought to be problematic for&#xA;  most business or leisure travelers. There's a caveat for frequent&#xA;  fliers, however. Pilots, flight attendants and others who fly often&#xA;  may be exposed to more radiation than is considered safe during&#xA;  pregnancy. If you must fly frequently during your pregnancy, discuss&#xA;  it with your health care provider. He or she may limit your total&#xA;  flight time during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always check with your physician before flying while pregnant.  Many doctors will tell expectant mothers not to fly after 36 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The risks of miscarriage or flight-related complications are lowest between weeks 14 and 28.  During the first trimester &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pregnancy-info.net/wellbeing_flying.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;morning sickness and other pregnancy symptoms&lt;/a&gt; can make flying particularly uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-07-18T23:41:34.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="88" CreationDate="2011-07-19T01:45:16.780" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why do children suck pacifiers? Answering that question helps unravel the weaning puzzle. Infants are born with a sucking reflex and sucking is a natural and effective calming strategy. They are born with a NEED to suck. As their motor, vision, and attending skills develop, healthy children should be encouraged to learn more age appropriate calming strategies. It is so important for our children to learn self-regulation of their emotions so they can calm themselves appropriately as they develop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Weaning from nursing/bottle feeding is possibly the best time to wean from the pacifier because they no longer NEED to rely on sucking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if it does not change their teeth (OFTEN it does) it always changes their swallow pattern which OFTEN leads to muscle weakness, facial changes, and later speech problems. I see soooo many children with these problems. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.iaom.com/content/parents-guide-childhood-thumbsucking-issues-and-tongue-thrust-behavior&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is a link to the International Association of Orofacial Myology that has a good overview of swallow development and possible complications/consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A really cute book that kids enjoy about pacifier weaning is &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1406300241&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Last Noo-Noo&lt;/a&gt;.&quot; Parents find this helpful with the pacifier rite of passage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-10T17:45:24.757" LastActivityDate="2011-09-10T17:45:24.757" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2172" CreationDate="2011-07-19T01:59:36.327" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sucking his thumb at this age is appropriate. The next stage will be putting most things in his mouth. Encourage your little one to explore his world through his mouth. There are more receptors and development there than the rest of his body at this age. Give him lots of appropriate toys &amp;amp; teethers to chew on too, especially when he can hold them. Sounds like you have a normal healthy baby!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-19T01:59:36.327" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2299" CreationDate="2011-07-19T06:48:10.377" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get him a backpack he likes that works in your price range!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His back won't be 35cm for long ... it probably has increased a bit in the time it took you to over-analyze this!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;&amp;lt;wink, wink&amp;gt;&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, precise fit is not necessary, because he will grow, and he will get stronger, and he will learn to carry the pack without difficulty. If he will be walking any serious length, get the wheeled kind and don't let it be so heavy that he struggles to pick it up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-07-19T06:48:10.377" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2323" CreationDate="2011-07-19T06:54:37.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Airlines will not allow you to fly after a certain amount, and this varies airline by airline.  We've been turfed off a flight at 34 weeks, so I'd advise you to contact the airline before booking a flight anywhere; travel agents will not ask you if you're pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the studies on pregnancy and air travel have been done on female flight attendants. One study did show that there was a slight increase in first trimester miscarriage, but this was for the flight attendants who worked a greater number of hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other studies were worried about in-flight radiation. This was also shown to have a slight increase in potential problems. However, these problems were more related to the length of time in the air, the route flown, and other flight phenomena.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is minuscule radiation on the ground and it goes down the nearer you are to the sea-level. When flying and the jet is cruising at 33,000 feet (10,000 metres), the level of radiation exposure is 35 times that at sea-level. It is 64 times when the jet reaches 39,000 feet (13,000 metre), cruising altitudes seen in transcontinental flights. This might look alarming but in fact, for an occasional flier, this level of exposure is still perfectly safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With many young women working in the industry and many actually flying during that time before some are even aware of their pregnancy, it is somewhat reassuring that there is no real scientific evidence that their babies are adversely affected. Nonetheless, in Europe though not in the United States, air crew are classified as radiation workers and their exposure levels are monitored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other points I have found:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• Avoid excessive flying. Although there are no hard and fast numbers. The flight attendants with the higher miscarriage rates flew on average 74 hours per month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• Pregnancy is a thrombogenic condition. What this means is that, when pregnant, a woman’s risk of developing thrombosis is increased. That is an established fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a scientific study on the issue.  I haven't read this cover to cover, but if you want actual facts and figures, I am sure they'd be in here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&amp;amp;q=cache:I1Ph5STG2HYJ:www.acog.org/from_home/publications/green_journal/2004/v103n6p1326.pdf%20flying%20while%20pregnant%20radiation&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;gl=uk&amp;amp;pid=bl&amp;amp;srcid=ADGEESg5akhHzUR9FB-lyKK6ut0jwN1Q6wJ4QFYpPvEW1WRhaxcGlvHZJHk12_Q231m_AI6Umr1G6xxmfw-jcMrzESZBBZsrKrwtIpBJEkkhmqPp_qABK1-wIbDKyBsYGXow4TgYB8Nu&amp;amp;sig=AHIEtbTj3WW5uoI9woTplp_hukZP7sdjxw&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;In flight radiation exposure during flight&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is one paragraph in the summary worth note:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Physicians can assure pregnant women who are concerned about radiation risks during ﬂight that, for casual travel under normal solar conditions, the risk of direct harm from cosmic radiation is negligible. However, during some solar energetic-particle events, the dose rates at airliner altitudes may be signiﬁcantly greater than usual. During these rare events, a pregnant woman should be advised to check the web site of the Space Environment Center of National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and to consider a brief postponement of her trip until the peak-dose period has passed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final note (and this from myself) is that if you're carrying twins, I would be worried about travelling at any stage over 30 weeks as they are born earlier.  Just something to keep in mind.  I fly quite extensively and my wife and kids have always joined me wherever I am, whenever they can.  She's flown many, many times pregnant, and as long as you take the precautions you need to (more exercise, more fluids etc), you'll be grand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:12:53.847" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2329" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2334" CreationDate="2011-07-19T07:38:37.663" Score="11" ViewCount="7098" Body="&lt;p&gt;I swaddled my baby in a swaddling blanket for a short time after he was born, and then moved on to a Halo &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.halosleep.com/products/detail/27/100_cotton_sleepsack_swaddle/894/100_cotton_sleepsack_swaddle_-_solid_colors/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;combination sleep sack and swaddle blanket&lt;/a&gt;. He is now nearly 3 months old, and I'm still using it (only at night). For the first few minutes he usually struggles a bit - mostly because he's not interested in going to sleep - but then he falls asleep and seems happy with it; I think it helps him to sleep more soundly but can't be sure. If I don't get to him fast enough in the morning, he usually manages to get one hand out, or sometimes both, and a thumb into his mouth. When should I stop swaddling him? (And after I stop swaddling him, should he still sleep in a sleep sack / wearable blanket? If so, for how long? I know 2-year-olds who are still in a sleep sack...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-05T09:11:51.457" LastActivityDate="2023-06-26T15:53:04.697" Title="When should I stop swaddling my baby?" Tags="|infant|sleep|swaddling|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2323" CreationDate="2011-07-19T07:51:02.350" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless you're flight crew, frequent flyer or there's a solar storm, &lt;strong&gt;radiation is not a significant problem.&lt;/strong&gt; The radiation comes from space in general and not significantly from the sun, so a night flight has pretty much the same radiation level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Physicians can assure pregnant women who are concerned about radiation risks during ﬂight that, &lt;strong&gt;for casual travel under normal solar conditions, the risk of direct&#xA;  harm from cosmic radiation is negligible.&lt;/strong&gt;  ...  The dose limits [based on risk tables generated by the FAA] are set well below levels at which real harm has been demonstrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.acog.org/from_home/publications/green_journal/2004/v103n6p1326.pdf&quot;&gt;In-Flight Radiation Exposure During Pregnancy (PDF)&lt;/a&gt;, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hps.org/publicinformation/ate/faqs/pregnancyandflying.html&quot;&gt;This page&lt;/a&gt; contains the best Q&amp;amp;A about in-flight radiation concerns&lt;/strong&gt; I've found.  (Summary: It's generally safe.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sievert-system.org/WebMasters/en/evaluation.html&quot;&gt;use this online calculator&lt;/a&gt; to determine how much radiation &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; flight would bring. To give you some perspective, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/radiation-dosage-chart/&quot;&gt;this chart&lt;/a&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://xkcd.com/radiation/&quot;&gt;here's another&lt;/a&gt;) shows that one flight across the USA brings you only 40 microsievert, which is one 25th of the yearly limit recommended by EPA, or just a few times more than a day's worth of background radiation on the ground. So if you fly 25 times in a year, you're still within safe limits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Notable safety exception:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Radiation levels can be a lot higher during solar flares — bursts of electromagnetic radiation caused by disturbances in the sun's atmosphere. Fortunately, solar flares are rare and last only a short while.  The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.swpc.noaa.gov/SWN/index.html&quot;&gt;posts solar radiation storm alerts on its web site&lt;/a&gt;. Some experts recommend that pregnant women check the site before flying and consider postponing their trip a day or two if a storm is forecast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_will-the-radiation-im-exposed-to-on-an-airplane-flight-harm_1351065.bc&quot;&gt;babycenter.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But even solar flares aren't &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; dangerous, according to the Q&amp;amp;A page linked above:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Some measurements have estimated exposures of 100 times the usual exposure while flying which would bring your exposure in the range of a low-level exposure from many diagnostic radiological procedures. &lt;strong&gt;Even this exposure would not increase your risk for birth defects or miscarriage,&lt;/strong&gt; which is 3% for birth defects and 15% for miscarriage for all healthy women when they begin their pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-21T06:58:20.197" LastActivityDate="2011-07-21T06:58:20.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1503" CreationDate="2011-07-19T10:19:56.830" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Six months is the age when babies realize that they can influence you. If you give them attention the minute they start crying in the middle of the night, they quickly learn -- once past the six-months mark -- that this is a pattern, and they will use it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One technique is to wait at least five minutes before going over. It of course depends on the cry; you must learn to distinguish real sorrow from acted sorrow. If they periodically pause in-between cries, that is a signal that they are acting -- because they are trying to hear whether you are getting up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="524" LastActivityDate="2011-07-19T10:19:56.830" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2312" CreationDate="2011-07-19T12:30:51.070" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt; &#xA;The only real world numbering system is days from start of year, where that point is arbitrarily chosen as 10 days after winter solstice (typically in the western world)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Weeks are an affectation defined to work with the way humans traditionally work and rest.&#xA;Months are also just traditional, and have changed over time - see the Julian and Gregorian calendars for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However the generally accepted practice is that you use the day of the month - eg born on 18 June, 1month old on 18 July etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-07-19T12:30:51.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2329" CreationDate="2011-07-19T12:36:42.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of ours loved being swaddled and only slept really soundly when she was swaddled. We stopped doing it around 6 months but even there, she was happiest with the blanket on her cot tucked very tightly round the mattress. Even now she likes a full cover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our other two always wanted a bit more movement so were happy in the sleep sack things, and they both like to have at least one leg out of the covers (at 5 and 11 now)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-07-19T12:36:42.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2329" CreationDate="2011-07-19T13:22:20.837" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Swaddle him &lt;strong&gt;as long as he will allow it&lt;/strong&gt; - probably less than half a year in all, but of course that varies wildly. Then &quot;upgrade&quot; to a sleep sack and use that as long as possible - perhaps until 2 or 3 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried swaddling and our son never liked it, so we never actually started. But he moves a lot at night (almost 2yo) and always did, so a blanket wouldn't work for him, especially when it's colder. He's always been in a sleep sack, and shows no dislike yet. &lt;em&gt;(update: at nearly 22 months he suddenly disliked the sack and the crib; luckily  it was a breeze to upgrade to a bed and blanket. YMMV.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The idea with swaddling&lt;/strong&gt; is to keep the limbs softly restrained, because infants can't control their movements well and swaddling helps them because they don't wake themselves up. Once they develop sufficient motor control, this benefit is moot and swaddling is not really &lt;em&gt;needed&lt;/em&gt; but perhaps he will still &lt;em&gt;like&lt;/em&gt; it (or not!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea with the sleep sack is simpler; it's just to keep him covered so he won't get cold in the night. As with swaddling, he'll grow out of the &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; eventually. Even if he'd still kick a blanket off, for an older child (past about age one) that is no longer a serious concern as it was for an infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-26T02:48:09.007" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T02:48:09.007" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-07-19T16:17:55.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One trick that has worked for us is telling stories on thomas train. I brush his teeth while his dad tells the stories. It takes two stories for us to completely brush his teeth.&#xA;I also liked the mirror technique. i will keep that as plan B :P&#xA;One thing which used to work for us (he doesnt buy into it anymore now) was to let him brush my teeth (without toothpaste of course) while I brush his :D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1323" LastActivityDate="2011-07-19T16:17:55.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2338" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2339" CreationDate="2011-07-19T21:48:45.143" Score="14" ViewCount="1878" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent (yet!), but the wife and I are seriously thinking about starting a family.  We both really want kids, but I'm just worried about the financial strain a baby could have on us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I right to worry about this?  How much should I be budgeting per month for the essential baby items?  Some things I have thought of, but have no idea of how much it will cost:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;food&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;clothes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;nappies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;medicine (is there anything that's regularly needed?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;startup costs (cot, pram, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I missing anything?  How do I go about making a rough estimate of how much a baby will cost?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1325" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:43:54.083" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:29:05.273" Title="Can we afford to have a baby?" Tags="|newborn|money|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2338" CreationDate="2011-07-19T22:17:35.237" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an understandable concern, and it's no secret that kids &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; cost money no matter how you put it. The easy answer is that lots of people have had lots of kids before us, and they managed to get by. It's a question of how you choose to spend your limited resources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think few are lucky enough to not have to think about what stuff costs. As for the rest of us, there is a whole spectrum of choices. On one end, if you only want the finest and best and newest, then you should expect to spend horrendous amounts. On the other end, if you're frugal and thrifty you can get by almost for free, but for that you'll have to accept used clothes, used toys, and so on. And you could find yourself anywhere in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me try to address each of your points.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Food:&lt;/strong&gt; Exclusively breastfeeding is common for the first many months, so that's essentially free. If you choose not to, then you'll need formula, and that's unfortunately expensive. I hear there's a lot of &quot;coupon&quot; deals in the USA, less in other parts of the world (your user profile page doesn't state your location). But here in Austria, our local drugstore has rebate offerings quite frequently and that is when we go buy stuff in bulk. Saves a lot. As the child gets older, he can gradually eat more of your normal food, so you don't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to buy all those super-special baby foods that are available. Regular food can work just as well, if you're willing to think about what you're feeding the child. And small children really don't eat very much, so it's not like you need to consciously buy &lt;em&gt;lots&lt;/em&gt; more food (though that will change when the child gets older).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clothes:&lt;/strong&gt; This is a good place to save money. First of all, newborns/infants/toddlers grow so quickly that they don't &quot;wear out&quot; any clothes. That means there's an ample supply of only slightly used baby clothing. Check in your local area or, public billboards, yard sales and flea markets. We've also made some good deals on eBay! Some clothes may not be perfect, or have a small stain. But there's no need to spend $$$ on Calvin Klein sweaters for a 5-month old kid. Unless you can afford it of course, then it's likely a nice luxury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nappies:&lt;/strong&gt; I guess you refer to diapers. Disposable diapers are expensive to use, but their benefit is that they require less time (no washing and drying!). However, if you have more time than money then cloth diapers can be a good alternative. I've seen personal finance blogs calculate this, even using homemade detergent to further reduce cost. The verdict is that cloth diapers &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; cheaper to use but require a time investment instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Medicine:&lt;/strong&gt; A healthy normal baby requires no medicine at all, except for immunizations if you choose to. Health insurance goes into this category as well, but often babies are insured through the mother's policy. Perhaps a nose spray against the common cold is needed now and then, but that shouldn't bust your budget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Startup costs:&lt;/strong&gt; As with clothes, it's amazing what you can find used. Beds, sheets, toys, anything and everything. Check flea markets in your community, and take a look in eBay (perhaps within driving distance?). Be sure to check that the items are safe to use and not broken or damaged. Some items might be no longer permitted (like older car seats), and that's something you can research in advance. In this category in particular, the rule of &quot;less is more&quot; applies: no child needs an entire &lt;em&gt;room&lt;/em&gt; full of toys (many babies are even more interested in the &quot;real stuff&quot; like plastic bottles, old newspapers, boxes, etc. so they do not necessarily need much special &quot;toys&quot;) and baby accessories. Just get the barest essentials and add on that as you go along. It's a lot easier to pick up more things than to get rid of things spent money on and realize you don't need after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bottom line:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The baby will cost exactly as much as you care to spend. The actual figures vary greatly -- based on your region, income, standard of living, and more -- so it would not be meaningful to state any precise amounts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;PS: Oops, I just wanted to jot down a few thoughts, but now see what happened. Sorry! :-)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/09/27/a-visual-guide-to-saving-money-with-a-baby/&quot;&gt;A Visual Guide to Saving Money with a Baby&lt;/a&gt; goes into detail about the economy of using cloth diapers and also mentions food, toys, and accessories. That blog is a gold-mine of money-saving tips, by the way. Highly recommended reading for anyone who thinks about personal finance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-20T12:00:00.067" LastActivityDate="2011-07-20T12:00:00.067" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2312" CreationDate="2011-07-20T05:04:29.793" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I calculate month birthdays like I calculate year birthdays: By date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ie, the 29th of April, our daughter was one year and one month old. As she is born the 29th, this means she wouldn't have an actual birthday most Februaries, but so what? It's not like you have a party for monthly birthdays anyway. It's just a matter of how many months you say she is, and for that you usually switch a couple of days before anyway. Nobody expects you to say that your kid is &quot;One year, 5 months and 28 days old&quot;. You say &quot;18 months&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be exact: &lt;a href=&quot;http://howoldismykid.com/&quot;&gt;http://howoldismykid.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-07-20T05:04:29.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2305" CreationDate="2011-07-20T05:10:43.517" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm told I was the same at around 5. My day-care nanny would simply put me down to eat my food before she made the table for the rest of the family, and they would have me sitting there still eating while she would clean up and do the dishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see any point in you sitting around waiting for your daughter to finish. That isn't going to make her finish any faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-07-20T05:10:43.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2338" CreationDate="2011-07-20T14:00:38.403" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;TorbenGB had a great response. I'd like to add that WhatToExpect.com has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/planning-for-a-family/money-smarts-for-new-moms.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;an article&lt;/a&gt; (and a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/planning-for-a-family.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;whole section&lt;/a&gt;, even!) discussing this very topic. their first tip is probably most relevant to the discussion:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never pay more than you have to. When stocking up for your baby, remember that some things are essential, but certain items might not be worth the cash. Before splurging on anything, canvas your mom friends and scour Web sites for reviews on products that you’re wondering if you really need. And don’t forget your local library — it’s more than just a source of books, CDs, and DVDs for your baby. Ask about free classes and story time for your tot’s age group. It’s a great way to find inexpensive activities for you and your baby (as well as a perfect chance for you to meet moms in the neighborhood).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another way not to pay more than you have to? Use a Chase card with Blueprint, which can help you pay off your balance faster and save you money on interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As someone who saw more than a few college-years pregnancies, I'd like to echo the used-is-good mantra that seems to have developed. Used clothes, furniture, and using cloth diapers will save a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; in the long haul. My parents only used disposable diapers if they were going out with my brother or me, and they told me that it saved them hundreds of dollars - and this was in the early 90s! Goodwill, SalvationArmy, Once Upon a Child, and good old garage sales / flea markets are great places to get stuff. Definitely ask extended family if they have old children's clothes (my mother has &lt;em&gt;every single item&lt;/em&gt; she bought for my brother and me stored in the attic) and church groups are always very generous with such things. If you're in a large metropolitan area, consider CraigsList as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if you have a friend who knits or crochets regularly, ask if s/he wouldn't mind making a baby blanket, socks, mittens, and/or a hat. These are a relatively non-time consuming projects that could yield a lifetime keepsakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-07-20T14:00:38.403" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2338" CreationDate="2011-07-20T20:01:03.140" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a couple things I want to touch on here, so it's sectioned up for quick browsing.  Pick the parts you want to read, ignore the ones you don't.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Day Care is &lt;em&gt;Expensive&lt;/em&gt; and Working is Hard&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If both you and your wife want to work after the baby is born, day care is expensive.  It's really expensive if you have more than 1 child.  If you have family that can watch the baby (even part time) or one of you can be a stay at home parent, then that's something you don't have to worry about.  For others, it's a concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If both of you are working, keep in mind that there's lots of things that pop up that can require one or the other of you to miss work.  Doctor's visits, sick kids, day-care centers/schools that are closed for occasions that don't coincide with holidays at work, school concerts, sick babysitters, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't meant to discourage you, but if both you and your wife are working, plan on a significant income reduction just from time off and day-care overhead while the baby is very young.  If you have access to things like a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flexible_spending_account#Dependent_care_FSA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dependent Care FSA&lt;/a&gt;, or your employer has on-site daycare or some other luxury, take advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;You Don't &lt;em&gt;Need&lt;/em&gt; Much&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aarthi's answer touched on this, but I'd like to make it explicit: There is an absolutely &lt;strong&gt;tremendous&lt;/strong&gt; amount of crap on the market that you &lt;em&gt;really don't need&lt;/em&gt;, and is marketed in a way that borders on preying on the fears and feelings of inadequacy of new parents.  (Not that other product classes don't also have unnecessary/overpriced products, it's just that few have the psychological pull that an undercurrent of &quot;if you really loved your baby you'd buy X&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's few things you absolutely &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt;, and most of it available used at reasonable prices.  Most everything else is a balance of utility vs. cost and what your financial situation looks like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want long-range audio/video baby monitor with remote WiFi access and an iPhone app, the deluxe wipe warmer, or the convertible stroller/car seat combo that doubles as a floatation device in the event of a water landing, and you can comfortably afford it then by all means buy it if it makes you feel better.  But don't feel like you're less of a parent (or not worthy to be one) because you can't afford (or don't want) expensive gadgets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4/what-to-buy-before-the-baby-is-born&quot;&gt;What to buy before baby is born?&lt;/a&gt; answers for an overview of the bare essentials, and the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/991/hacks-and-gadgets-for-soon-to-be-dad&quot;&gt;Hacks and gadgets for the soon-to-be dad&lt;/a&gt; answers for some ideas of neat toys to get if you've got some extra disposable income.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Don't Forget the Doctor&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on where you at, infants may be expected to have quite a few well-baby visits to the doctor in their first 2 years.  This is after all the regular checkups that the mom-to-be will have while she's pregnant.  While whatever insurance you have will often cover most, if not all, of the direct costs, keep in mind that you're liable for any co-pays that might be required.  There's also the issue of any time off of work that you or your wife will miss for the various and sundry appointments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, kids get sick.  It happens.  That means more doctor's appointments, possibly medicine, and possibly taking time off of work until they're well.  Most day care centers aren't going to let you leave a sick child with them until they're non-contagious.  Even if they do, all the other parents would be upset at the one who would send a sick kid to day-care when their kids came home sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-07-20T20:01:03.140" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2345" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2346" CreationDate="2011-07-20T20:22:31.013" Score="14" ViewCount="3133" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are just finishing up a 4 week trip home to visit the grandparents (we live in Australia, they in North America).  We have introduced the unfortunate habit in our 10 month old daughter of allowing her to nurse when she wakes up at night.  At first, it seemed like the easiest way to get her to sleep again without waking up the entire house (due to crying) but now we are realizing that we have created a monster.  The last 2 nights, she has woken up more than 4 times and will cry until she is allowed to nurse. This has left my wife exhausted and we know that it needs to end.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that we are returning home, we realize that we need to figure out how to get her out of this habit and I was hoping some people could share their experiences with this kind of dependency and tell us what worked.  Our current plan is to re-establish her schedule that has been badly broken while travelling and to have me (the father) rather than her mother comfort her at night when she wakes up.  It is hoped that since I am unable to offer her anything to nurse on, she will cry for a while but realize she isn't getting her way and go back to sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The little one is now eating primarily solids though she does get to nurse after each meal.  We are doing our best to fill her up prior to bed to ensure that she doesn't wake up hungry.  We just need to sort out how to get her to comfort herself rather than relying on us all the time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE:&lt;/strong&gt;  We realized that our problem was more related to the co-sleeping rather than the feeding.  After several nights where we fought to get our daughter down in her own bed, she has now become accustomed to falling asleep in her cot rather than her bed.  Because she is physically separate from us (though still in the same room), she now seems to comfort herself except for a single time each night (usually between 3am - 5am) where she wants to nurse.  Since she is actually nursing (i.e. she doesn't fall back asleep after 45 seconds) and it is only one night a week, my wife is happy to do it.  Thanks for the help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1315" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:33:00.170" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T19:33:00.170" Title="How can we end nighttime 'comfort' nursing?" Tags="|sleep|breastfeeding|bedtime|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2345" CreationDate="2011-07-21T11:51:50.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Only two things worked for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fill the baby up as much as we can before bedtime, which you are doing and its great&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get used to crying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the crying there was no way around it, either it was nursing or a pacifier that took a little bit to get used to for our kids.  After a few days it worked well, we did the rocking while the pacifier was there, with Mom holding the baby close so he had the Mommy smell and the sucking of the pacifier - being full neither one noticed they were not getting milk.  A few times we needed a bottle, but at that point either one of us could have done it, so Mommy could get some sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes when we take a step back to accomodate conditions we end up going back many steps in the kids development, that's just normal and you need to take it in stride.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-07-21T11:51:50.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2347" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2350" CreationDate="2011-07-21T14:19:51.137" Score="15" ViewCount="36810" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're planning to drive to visit my family later this year.  It is roughly a 10-11 hour drive if we go straight through (I'm planning on making fairly frequent stops, however, as I think it would be unfair to expect our son to sit still the entire time, so I expect that the actual trip will take significantly longer).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I keep the trip pleasant for both my wife and I, and our son?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know in-vehicle DVD players are very popular, but we want to avoid television until he's older (he'll be about 14 months at the time of the trip), and even then we don't want to rely on it to distract him.  I'm looking for other suggestions for keeping him comfortable, happy, and entertained while we make our way across the country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; The trip went very well.  Here is what we did:&#xA;We broke the trip into smaller portions.  In retrospect, we could have done this better, as we stayed with friends in Pittsburgh, leaving us 8 hours to do the second leg of the outbound trip, but it was far preferable to traveling straight through.  The trip was made much easier by providing two new largish toys featuring a variety of interactive activities (one was a cube containing a number of moving parts: beads, spinners, etc., and the other was a tray designed to fit over the lap with a number of musical buttons, levers, doors, etc.).&#xA;Coming back we stopped in Ohio, and got a hotel room for the night, after driving until I started to get tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did not try driving through the night, as that would have prevented us from being able to be awake for interactions with our family the first and last days of the actual vacation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other key tactics included making sure to have a bag with snacks, drinks, toys, etc. handy; a new, comfortable toddler car seat (our timing was perfect as he had just about outgrown the infant car seat by then); &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000GB0NZK&quot;&gt;snack cups&lt;/a&gt; and sippy cups that we could hand him and let him self-feed from without supervision/assistance; the children's station on satellite radio; frequent rest-stops for diaper changes, meals, or just to stop and play; a changing pad and enough free space in the back seat that we could change a diaper in the car (while parked!); and being able to reach back and pick up the toys when he dropped them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-02-20T13:31:06.430" LastActivityDate="2017-11-29T05:32:55.983" Title="How can we make a long road trip pleasant for a toddler and the parents?" Tags="|toddler|travel|driving|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2347" CreationDate="2011-07-21T15:31:30.077" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Night drive&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first idea that comes to my mind is driving at night. Our son often falls asleep in the car, most likely because of the movements and the white noise. I have a 14-hour drive to my family, from Austria to Denmark, and this is how I would do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prepare and pack the car during the day or early evening. Make sure you're well rested on this day. Do a shorter version of your bedtime routine, and do it earlier than usual, then get in the car and start driving. He'll fall asleep soon enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both parents can take turns driving and sleeping, and you could also plan a short (&amp;lt;20 minutes) power nap around midnight to keep fresh, possibly with some &lt;a href=&quot;http://torben.g-b.dk/pzizz&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;booster music&lt;/a&gt; (see below). The important thing is to take a break &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; you get really tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Drawbacks?&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most obvious is that you'll both be kind of tired the following day.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;-Solution:&lt;/em&gt; Since you're visiting your family, perhaps they can lend a hand with attending to your son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also be tired during the drive, as I've already stated.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;-Solution:&lt;/em&gt; Start out well rested. Take breaks early. Consume enough fluids and proper(!) food to keep you going. Make sure that the driver can safely access some snacks and fluids even while the co-pilot is sleeping.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also worth noting that some people are more comfortable driving in daylight, for various medical and psychological reasons. I personally prefer the night, as long as the roads are in decent condition and I know my way around (I wouldn't like to weave through unfamiliar, worn and narrow Italian streets at night).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;-Solution:&lt;/em&gt; Choose an easy route even if it's a small detour. Know the way, and/or use a navigation system that you know you can trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you return to your home, there's no family to assist you.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;-Solution:&lt;/em&gt; Make sure you have at least one day at home before you need to get back to work. Yes, that will shorten your stay, but it will reduce the impact at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Booster music:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;That booster music is something I actually use, and despite appearances it really, honestly works! It works best if you're familiar with it in advance, so some &quot;training&quot; (conditioning, really) helps. Must be used with headphones, and in-ear headphones are better than old-school (&quot;walkman&quot;) on-ear headphones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Anecdote:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The last time I drove 14 hours, we started in the morning and arrived in the night. Our son was an infant then, and slept the whole time except for feeding and changing. We were &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; surprised that he slept through the night anyway! I'm sure I won't be that lucky with a toddler though :-/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Note: The pzizz link is an affiliate link. I forgot what it earns me but it's probably not a lot, and doesn't cost the buyer anything. I believe in the software, and there's a $10 &quot;energizer pack&quot; available as MP3. The more expensive choices offer more, but that's irrelevant to the question.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-21T15:47:33.463" LastActivityDate="2011-07-21T15:47:33.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2347" CreationDate="2011-07-21T15:43:22.133" Score="5" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maximize baby's sleeping time during the drive. Drive through the night if possible arriving in the morning. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep him entertained, bring new toys.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have one adult seat in the back with the child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stop in the parks or playgrounds, not rest areas, where he can run and spend some energy. GPS usually is&#xA;good with helping you find these places on the way. In the US we search for State Park or County park. Most of them have playgrounds. Even if there are no playgrounds there is always something interesting to look at and space to run.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any cell phone is a good toy to keep them busy. You said no DVDs, but if you have a Smartphone and let your child use it, there are a lot of games available.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pack your snacks and drinks with you so you don't spend additional time stopping for food, picnic in the parks instead or eat on the way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a lot of finger food to keep your toddler busy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-07-21T15:43:22.133" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2347" CreationDate="2011-07-21T16:19:33.203" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just (yesterday!) came back from a 10 hour drive from Ontario, canada to MA, USA. It was myself, my husband, and our 1 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To go to Boston, we took everyone's suggestions and drove through the night. It may work for others, but it did NOT work for us. It was awful. We started at about 8 PM, and she fell asleep around 9 PM. All fine and dandy. However, between 1 AM - 4 AM, we started getting really tired. Both of us had a lot of trouble keeping our eyes open. We started taking a 30 minute break every hour - but it was really restless nap because we wanted to make it to our destination before she was awake/cranky. We found that it was just not possible for us to prepare by pre-napping or sleeping during the day to prepare for the night trip. Plus 1 AM - 4 AM is pretty dark and quiet on the roads. Food and fluids were just not keeping us awake (although neither of us are coffee or tea drinkers, so YMMV). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter also didn't have a very comfortable sleep - the rest stops wake her up, or well, she would at least cry in her sleep. Sleeping in the car seat for that long is fairly uncomfortable. She was too tired to play or eat, as it was her sleepy time. So she became really, really frustrated. It was too late in the night to go to parks or just let her stroll around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After we arrived at our destination, at about 8 AM, it wasn't easy to just hand over our daughter to our relatives and go to sleep. She was shy about the new place / scared of the new people and only wanted her mommy and daddy. Relatives helped as much as they can, but you have to understand her waryness of new people and a new place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, our trip back was much better. It was actually quite fantastic. We started at around 3 AM this time. We had put her to bed at 11 PM, so she had roughly 4 hours of sleep. She did wake up when we put her in the car seat, but fell asleep about 1/2 an hour later. We stopped every 3 hours for 15-30 minutes for a &quot;car-seat-free-time.&quot; If she was sleepy, I'd just hold her and let her sleep on me. If she was awake, I'd feed her and change her diaper, if necessary. If she was awake when I'd put her in, I'd give her toys (old and new) to play with. Within 30 minutes, she'd be back to sleeping. She did this the whole way. She only got cranky in the last TEN MINUTES of our trip, when nothing would console her. But we were almost home at that point, so it was all good! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nice thing about starting at 3 AM was that both of us were relatively rested. She had half her sleep, but since it was broken, she didn't have trouble snoozing the rest of the way. We did a stop at a Tim Hortons/Subway and let her walk around and stretch her legs. We got home around 2:30 PM and weren't exhausted so were able to take care of her easily. She went to bed a little early and slept for a long time, but so did we :). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We took lots of food with her that she would normally eat - baby cereal, frozen apple sauce (it was hot, so eating it was like drinking a slushie), crackers, etc. She also ate 1/2 a bran muffin and a little bit of tuna on a sub. We had a small water bottle just for her with a straw. Our daughter doesn't drink much juice, so none of that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sat in the back with her the whole way. I'd try to gently stroke her hair to help her sleep when she was sleepy but uncomfortable in the car seat. I'd play games like peek-a-boo with her or read a book in her awake time. Just...do stuff to keep her happy when she is awake, and be quiet when she is sleepy. It worked really well :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also did the same trip with her when she was 5 months old. On the way to Boston, we actually stopped half way at a hotel and spent the night there. However, on the way back to Ontario, we drove through. That actually only took us 10 hours - we started around noon and reached home by 10 Pm. We only stopped for nursing her - which wasn't very often. At 5 months old, she fell asleep in her car seat very easily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2011-07-21T20:43:57.403" LastActivityDate="2011-07-21T20:43:57.403" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2305" CreationDate="2011-07-21T17:35:04.120" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some times my kids take a while to eat, but never as long as 2 hours.  What has worked for us is to just take the food away after a certain amount of time (1/2 an hour?). You won't starve the kid by making them miss out on a meal or two.  After half their dinner goes in the compost a couple times they usually change their attitude.  A little information here.  Kids will not starve themselves, except in extreme circumstances (abuse, mental disorder, etc..).  So if you're strict with the kid and just take the food away if they aren't eating, they'll change their tune pretty fast.  I also agree that if they skip meals, don't give in with snacks later. Perhaps water and saltines or bread and butter, so they aren't hungry, but don't give them anything that's remotely tasty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1328" LastActivityDate="2011-07-21T17:35:04.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2345" CreationDate="2011-07-22T12:44:28.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our tactic with all three of ours was to introduce bottled formula milk as the last feed before bed at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This always settled them for much longer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I got to do it, which let my wife get to bed early and gave me some baby time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Babysitters could also do it when necessary&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much more relaxing for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-07-22T12:44:28.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2353" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2354" CreationDate="2011-07-22T13:02:19.673" Score="4" ViewCount="1775" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler gets a bottle of formula in the evening, as part of the bedtime ritual. At some point in time, we'd want to stop giving that bottle and stop using formula at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is an effective method to do this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it realistic to just stop giving the bottle one day? Or should the daily amount be reduced over a two weeks until nothing is left? Or should we replace it with water? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, we would want no more fluid intake in the evening to prevent future bed-wetting, so replacing with water could at best be a temporary solution. I have a feeling that an evening drink increases the risk of bed-wetting, though it would probably be naive to expect it can be fully avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:28:01.620" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T19:28:01.620" Title="When and how can we stop giving our toddler formula in the evening?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|formula|drinking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2353" CreationDate="2011-07-22T13:31:54.733" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We eliminated the evening nursing/bottle by gradually giving solid foods shortly before bedtime in its place and reducing the amount of fluid.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you'll be able to stop the bottle 'cold turkey' without replacing it with some solids, or you'll have a toddler waking in the middle of the night from hunger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-07-22T13:31:54.733" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2353" CreationDate="2011-07-22T13:46:12.540" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One way is to convince the kid that he/she is just getting too old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do this by making some sort of symbolic act to notify this. Works with pacifiers too. In Stockholm people go to the petting zoo and stick the pacifier onto the fence at the to &quot;give it to the small animals&quot; who need it better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another way is to telling the kid that he/she is too old, and then doing something to the milk to make it taste bad, like for example having loads of salt in it. This worked on my baby sister, who when the gruel (cause that's what you have in Sweden) got disgusting concluded sadly that now she was too old. This was at 4years or so. She learned to fall asleep without the bottle quickly. This does seem a bit cruel, so I guess that would be only a last resort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-07-22T13:46:12.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2356" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2357" CreationDate="2011-07-22T17:17:19.423" Score="6" ViewCount="3037" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 month old doesn't seem to have any problem trying new flavors.  However, he has become &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; picky about trying any food that has texture (i.e. any foods that aren't pureed completely smooth).  He does eat a variety of baby cereals, so I suspect that the issue may be related to foods that combine multiple textures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything that contains chunks, whether it is bits of cooked carrots, slivers of strawberries, or small bits of pasta gives us the same results: he'll eat the first bite, but immediately look at us suspiciously. The second bite he'll make a face, and then spit it out, and then he'll refuse to eat any more until we switch to a different food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The notable exception appears to be foods he can grasp in his fist, such as pieces of toast, graham crackers, pancakes, or breaded chicken nuggets/tenders.  All of these he'll eat quite happily.  However, our options for fist-sized foods are limited because we are concerned with choking hazards.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help get him comfortable with eating foods that have a variety of textures?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T00:48:06.673" Title="How do I transition a toddler to foods with texture?" Tags="|infant|food|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2356" CreationDate="2011-07-22T19:12:26.530" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babycenter offers &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-normal-that-my-baby-doesnt-like-the-texture-of-solids_3652414.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this advice&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some babies take a while to get used to the texture of solid foods, and up until age 1 that's normal, says pediatrician Tanya Remer Altmann [...]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; normal for babies to balk the first time — or the first many times — they experience food other than breast milk, formula, or liquidy purees. That's why it's important to keep offering different foods to babies who are developmentally ready — especially healthy ones like vegetables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;If your child doesn't like it, introduce it another dozen times,&amp;quot; says Altmann. &amp;quot;It may take that long.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a first finger food, Altmann recommends puffed rice cereal that melts easily in your baby's mouth. Or steam his favorite vegetable until it's extremely soft and cut it into small pieces. Or offer soft cooked peas and little pieces of bread.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Textures take getting used to, just like tastes. &amp;quot;Kids often don't like the texture of avocado but are won over by the taste,&amp;quot; Altmann says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby is sensitive to the textures of finger foods, let him experience different textures in his play — experiment with feathers, a bumpy ball, or cooked noodles, says Altmann. Getting used to new sensations at playtime might make him more open to unfamiliar food textures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babycenter also suggests &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_finger-foods_105.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;introducing more finger foods&lt;/a&gt; to his diet, such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;O-shaped toasted oat cereal or other low-sugar cereal&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lightly toasted bread or bagels (spread with vegetable puree for extra vitamins)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small chunks of banana or other very ripe peeled and pitted fruit, like mango, plum, pear, peach, cantaloupe, or seedless watermelon&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small cubes of tofu&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Well-cooked pasta spirals, cut into pieces&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Very small chunks of cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chopped hard-boiled egg&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Individual raisins, cut-up dried apricots, or mashed stewed prunes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small pieces of well-cooked vegetables, like carrots, peas, zucchini, potato, or sweet potato&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small well-cooked broccoli or cauliflower &amp;quot;trees&amp;quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pea-size pieces of cooked chicken or other soft meat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rice cakes or crackers broken into small pieces&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is apparently not an uncommon problem; TheBump has &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/55929604/ShowThread.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;a whole thread&lt;/a&gt; about this experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-07-22T19:12:26.530" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2358" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2361" CreationDate="2011-07-24T16:11:46.600" Score="10" ViewCount="1409" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can I figure out what my baby needs from its crying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunstan_Baby_Language&quot;&gt;Dunstan Baby Language&lt;/a&gt;, the sound used before hysterical baby crying gives information on what the baby needs. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dunstanbaby.com/cms/index.php?page=us-research&quot;&gt;Dunstan website&lt;/a&gt; claims there is scientific research on this, but the wikipedia article denies it. From the Wikipedia article linked above:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Between 0–3 months, infants make what Dunstan calls sound reflexes...There are other reflexes that all babies experience, and when sound is added to these, a distinct, preemptive &quot;cry&quot; will occur before the infant breaks into what Dunstan calls the hysterical cry. Dunstan claims that these preemptive cries can indicate what the infant requires (e.g., food, comfort, sleep, etc.), and they escalate to the hysterical cry if they are not answered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can I really figure out what my baby needs by the nature of its crying? Are there ways of figuring out what my baby needs by the phonemes emitted before/during crying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-24T19:09:25.623" LastActivityDate="2013-09-14T23:34:07.950" Title="Can I figure out what my baby wants by the sound it makes when it cries?" Tags="|infant|newborn|language-development|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2358" CreationDate="2011-07-24T18:31:11.960" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes and no:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;yes&lt;/strong&gt; an infant cries in several distinct ways to tell you what's wrong,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;yes&lt;/strong&gt; the phenomenon ends after some months,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt; I don't think those 5 &quot;words&quot; (as per your Wikipedia link) are international or even noticeable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had not heard of the Dunstan theory before, and I don't recognise the words stated on the website. But I swear that while my son was newborn and up to maybe 5 months old, the way he cried clearly indicated if it was for hunger, sleep, diaper, or discomfort. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other parents tell me the same; newborns do cry in different and distinct ways. But at the same time, I've not heard any pattern that is recognisable from one child to the next, so you will have to get familiar with the different cries your baby makes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So at least I can confirm from my own experience that Dunstan is right about two things: the baby can communicate distinctly, and these distinctions wear off over time. I wish my son would keep up the distinctions because we've wondered many times since then what he wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-24T18:39:32.597" LastActivityDate="2011-07-24T18:39:32.597" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2323" CreationDate="2011-07-25T00:36:00.310" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://xkcd.com/radiation/&quot;&gt;radiation chart&lt;/a&gt;, while not made by scientists can help you get the gist of how much radiation can come from various sources. Notice that an airplane flight is in the first section.  It has a lot of squares, which makes it looks scary.  However, you'll notice in the second section that &quot;living in a brick, stone, or concrete building for a year gives one almost twice the radiation that a plane trip does.  And millions (billions?) of people live in concrete apartment buildings and have no problems producing healthy children. Hopefully this will help put you at ease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1328" LastActivityDate="2011-07-25T00:36:00.310" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2358" CreationDate="2011-07-25T08:18:20.527" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hi  I am a child developmentalist who works with children who have developmental disabilities.  One of my areas is language development from birth.  The answer to your question is 'yes' you can figure out what a baby needs by its cry.  Crying is the first step on the child's path to spoken language.  It is the primary form of communication from which all other communication is built.  This is because when a baby cries and the parents respond, the baby quickly learns the association, - that he or she can create meaning.  From there other sounds begin to be developed and we are on the road to communication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ignore the Dunstan stuff.  Anyone making claims who cannot provide truly independent, reliable and valid research to support their claims should be ignored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latest research, links babies cries to later language development.  It also highlights the distinctive cries and what they mean.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;&lt;em&gt;For infants, crying is the sole form of communication and there are three distinct types: A “basic cry” is a rhythmic pattern consisting of a cry followed by silence; an “anger cry” is similar to a basic cry but with more volume due to the release of excessive air through the infant’s vocal chords; and a “pain cry” is a loud cry followed by periods of breath holding.&#xA;Infants also exhibit what is called a “simple cry melody” – a crying arc consisting of a single rise and then a fall. According to researchers, it is the segmentation of these melodies by momentary pauses and respiratory movement that leads to syllable production&lt;/em&gt;.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source. - &lt;a href=&quot;http://snowdrop-snowdropblog.blogspot.com/2011/07/can-how-baby-cries-predict-his-or-her.html&quot;&gt;Snowdrop Blog. - A blog dedicated to children's developmental disabilities.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastActivityDate="2011-07-25T08:18:20.527" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2362" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-07-25T11:12:36.117" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-25T11:12:36.117" LastActivityDate="2011-07-25T11:12:36.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2363" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-07-25T11:12:36.117" Score="0" Body="The transition from potty (or even from diapers) to the toilet. See also the tag [potty-training] for the transition from diapers to the potty." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-25T11:12:36.117" LastActivityDate="2011-07-25T11:12:36.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2365" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2377" CreationDate="2011-07-25T16:08:44.663" Score="6" ViewCount="330" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me begin with all sympathies to the victims, survivors, and their families, and the people of Norway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sad and angry and deeply feel the fact that I cannot protect my family from an atrocity. I feel impotent. What can I do?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children can't avoid finding out about these events. How can we explain such terrible acts to children in a way that doesn't cause them harm? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What can we do to instruct children to handle such a situation if they ever find themselves in one? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="807" LastEditDate="2011-07-25T18:51:08.223" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T09:56:15.820" Title="What should we teach our children about violent attacks like the ones in Norway on 7/22/11?" Tags="|safety|violence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2358" CreationDate="2011-07-25T16:15:42.407" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found the DBL vocalizations very helpful for the first few months only. To describe very helpful, it was accurate, gave me confidence in what to do next, and allowed my son relief. I understand from my relatives that while they did not know these vocalizations, after their first child they were able to identify these situations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would say, first baby, first three months, it's a great product that does what it says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-07-25T16:15:42.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2172" CreationDate="2011-07-25T17:29:31.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some kids refuse pacifiers and at the same want the comfort from sucking. In those cases you probably can't do much, and have to deal with it when the child is older. Thumbsucking is a problem to quit, as you can't hide the thumb. But it is possible, and I think there is a thread on this as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-07-25T17:29:31.700" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2365" CreationDate="2011-07-25T19:37:10.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child needs explaining such things, I assume he starts exposing himself to the bad things happening in the real world. I would focus on getting him to understand that sometimes people do bad things. If your child is a teenager, I'd rather discuss this accident, not explain it, since his personality is already developed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for ways to handle violent situations, I'd suggest to get your child into some martial arts section.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="127" LastActivityDate="2011-07-25T19:37:10.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2356" CreationDate="2011-07-26T00:48:06.673" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many children who have sensory systems that have more difficulty with multiple textures. Sometimes they just need more exposure, and sometimes even that is not enough to help them adapt. Different strategies work for different children. Aarthi's suggestions are EXCELLENT! I find that pleasant experiences while exploring food is critical. Perhaps encouraging dipping his bread into creamier foods that &quot;just happen&quot; to have bits or very small chunks in it may increase his tolerance. Also, gradually adding texture to their preferred foods works for some kiddos. For example, crumbling very small bits of graham cracker into pudding or yogurt. The crumbs can gradually be increased in size after the finest are well accepted. Multiple textures require more refined oral motor skills so keep trying and enjoy the journey!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T00:48:06.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2011-07-26T01:15:48.983" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Picky eaters usually require a closer look to determine what is the root of their food habits. Causes for picky eating can be related to oral sensory responses, normal developmental patterns, taste/flavor preferences, and behavior ploys to name a few. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does your child have a history of gagging/choking on a bottle or food as an infant? Some are born with hypersensitivities that cause eating to be a negative experience. Children who had adversive experiences early in life requiring intubation, feeding tubes, or placement in NICU are often problem feeders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As children develop, the drive to explore their world is greater than their hunger for food at times. They may eat very little for several days or eat only one or two foods at a given meal. During these times, the quality of their diet would best be considered by an accumulation of the foods eaten over several days. A survey of several days is a better reflection of how well one's diet is meeting nutritional demands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child's stomach is the size of their fist. So they need far less food than we sometimes imagine. Be sure to monitor juice, soda, and milk consumption. These often fill small stomachs and reduce hunger with calories while limiting their desire for more nutritious choices. Presenting food in muffin tins or ice trays is a fun way to encourage a variety of foods in small amounts that match a little ones tummy size. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to explore food in a variety of ways and have many repeated exposures to accept a new food. Research indicates 15 or more pleasant experiences is needed. Having children help with food purchasing, preparation and clean up is a helpful strategy for increasing pleasant contact with food. Children learn from imitation. Having children sit at the table for meals with the family increases positive contact with food and provides them with a good role model. Opportunities to play with fun foods will also be helpful in bring peace times to the table.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T11:53:39.837" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T11:53:39.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="307" CreationDate="2011-07-26T01:39:11.110" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I often say, &quot;Baby talk is fine as long as baby doesn't talk!&quot; Research indicates that baby talk with exaggerated intonation and facial expression is beneficial to infants and children with normal and delayed speech development. The key is to stay one step ahead of baby! In other words, model just one step above your child's level. If no babbling or words, use sing-song, repetitive utterances with exaggerated facial expression to keep the child's interest and allow the child to hear the rhythm and patterns of speech. Once the child is babbling, emphasize single easy to say words frequently. When the child is using single words, up your words to 2-3 word phrases to model for them where they will be moving to next. The challenge for us parents and caregivers is to keep moving and stay only one step ahead of baby!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T01:39:11.110" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="953" CreationDate="2011-07-26T01:47:27.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our stomachs are the size of our fists. This is true for children too! Look at the fist of a 2 or 3 yr. old. That's not a lot of room and their little tummies empty out in a few hours. State guidelines dictate to child care centers the frequency of meals/snacks in most if not all states. These guidelines are based on normal development and reflect best practices for meeting the nutritional needs of young children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Snacks do not have to be large to meet their needs. Remember the size of their fist. Think of easy, healthy snack foods that will keep their little engines running until a mealtime arrives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T01:47:27.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2353" CreationDate="2011-07-26T08:09:18.830" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a really hard time getting our daughter off of the evening bottle, it got to the point that she would not go to sleep without it and she was rapidly approaching five years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thinking about it, we both knew that it wasn't &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; about the milk, it was more about the feeling of security she got from two places:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Suckling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Routine&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suckling was something that we did not want to replace directly, so we focused on routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We decided that &lt;em&gt;replacing&lt;/em&gt; the routine would be better, so at bed time we all drank milk or hot chocolate from mugs with (just) a few cookies for dipping. We called it our night time picnic and we did it &lt;em&gt;consistently&lt;/em&gt; for several weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the third or so week, we only provided a mug of milk and dunking treats to our daughter, but increased the amount of treats by a few, which we encouraged her to share with us. By this time, the bottle was long forgotten, we had fun having guessing games to see which parent earned the treat before we all went to bed. We wanted our daughter to feel some sort of control in the transition and that worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I wake up most days complaining about a mug of milk going to waste. She has a small (now more nutritious) snack an hour or so before going to bed, the bottles are now gathering dust and will soon be packed away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each kid is of course different, but giving them &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; control over what they see as a major transitional process will usually work. After all, parental diplomacy is letting the &lt;em&gt;kid&lt;/em&gt; have &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; way :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T08:09:18.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2319" CreationDate="2011-07-26T08:24:28.210" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I don't like answering my own questions, but the only other answer didn't really apply, so here goes:&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Letting him cry&quot; didn't work for us. We discovered that &lt;strong&gt;the cause was discomfort&lt;/strong&gt; rather than defiance, although not in a very obvious way. Our son's bedtime unrest and crying has been increasing recently, and it now turns out that &lt;strong&gt;he didn't want the sleeping sack anymore&lt;/strong&gt; so we &quot;upgraded&quot; him to a blanket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found out by coincidence really: One evening we didn't put him in his sleeping sack but just covered him with the blanket (it's familiar to him, it has been in his crib for a long time already) and he was fine. The next evening he was restless again but not crying; my wife explained to him plainly that he's a big boy and can sleep with the blanket &lt;em&gt;but&lt;/em&gt; he has to stay under the blanket and keep his legs and feet under it too. I'm amazed that this simple explanation did the trick, but it did. He just needed operating instructions for the tool we call &lt;em&gt;blanket&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-26T14:33:33.320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T14:33:33.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2365" CreationDate="2011-07-26T09:56:15.820" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;ad 1)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Danish newspaper has &lt;a href=&quot;http://politiken.dk/tjek/ECE1345382/norsk-terror-saetter-smaaboernsforaeldre-paa-proeve/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;an article&lt;/a&gt; with a child psychologist, from which I'll try to distill the essence.  (I think &lt;a href=&quot;http://translate.google.com/#auto%7Cen%7Chttp://politiken.dk/tjek/ECE1345382/norsk-terror-saetter-smaaboernsforaeldre-paa-proeve/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Google Translate can give you a translation&lt;/a&gt; but the result is blocked on my network.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even the smallest children can feel that something is bothering you, even if they only experience it second-hand, filtered, and fragmented.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents of small children (pre-schoolers) need to show that they've got them covered, that they know what's right and wrong, that they're in control.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One way of being in control is to seize the TV's remote control. Don't be afraid to say &lt;em&gt;that's horrible, you shouldn't watch that&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep an eye on what they're playing. Kids express themselves through play, interaction with others, and creativity. If they start to integrate elements of the tragedy, then join in and (covertly) direct the play to something else. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't deny facts. Something terrible happened. But give short answers that closes the issue. Word it like a newspaper headline that omits any details that can fuel their fantasy and fear. Details are often not needed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article links to another &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.barneombudet.no/hvordansnakkemedbarn/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Norwegian website&lt;/a&gt; (Google's &lt;a href=&quot;http://translate.google.com/#auto%7Cen%7Chttp://www.barneombudet.no/hvordansnakkemedbarn/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;translation here&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ad 2)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You can't&lt;/strong&gt; prepare meaningfully against acts of terrorism. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You can&lt;/strong&gt; prepare against calculable risks such as school-yard bullies or stalkers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't be a hero, just protect yourself. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use your training [martial arts, or whatever you favor] to defend/protect/hide yourself. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't put yourself in situations that can obviously become dangerous (like being peer-pressured into jumping from bridges, or whatever).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-26T09:56:15.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2329" CreationDate="2011-07-27T01:27:10.947" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every child is different and enjoys, seeks, and sometimes requires different environments. Some children can calm themselves best when they have deep sensory information from their muscles and joints. Swaddling is a great way to provide the support that they need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as your child is comforted by swaddling the is no age limit for swaddling. But, most children and parents find that swaddling is not practical as a child's mobility increases and the urge to stand and move about creates a stressful or unsafe response. Follow your child's lead and make the transition when both of you feel ready.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When swaddling is no longer practical, tucking the covers under the mattress tightly, heavy blankets or curling into a ball or scrunching into the corner of the bed provides the same feeling for them. My son preferred tight fitting clothes, heavy boots, and coats for the same reason. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents who want to know more about sensory seeking behaviors can read more at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-integration-activities.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-integration-activities.html&lt;/a&gt; As stated in this article, deep pressure activities are beneficial for all children and lots of fun as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning about sensory processing helped me understand and enjoy my son so much more because even though he was very bright, his body processed information differently. I've shared this information with hundreds of parents over the years, and many have benefited as much as I did. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-07-28T01:44:18.367" LastActivityDate="2011-07-28T01:44:18.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2044" CreationDate="2011-07-27T01:51:59.907" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a speech language pathologist, I've been trained in treating stuttering. Yet, when my own child became dysfluent at an early age, I was baffled and concerned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children go through a period of dysfluent speech (stuttering) between the ages of 2 and 5 years. There is a normal development dysfluency BUT this is also the age that many with TRUE stuttering begin have difficulties. The real question is to determine what is the difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normal dysfluencies are characterized by repeating whole words-often the first in a sentence. There is no tension in the face or mouth and no struggle to &quot;get the words out.&quot; You are right on with your observation that this behavior is related to the surge in vocabulary and language that occurs at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;True stuttering, however, presents with more tension and struggle. The stuttered words are more likely to be part word (wha-wha-wha-what) or prolonged sounds (wwwwhhhhhhhhat). Facial grimacing or posturing, inability to get sound started, or comments such as &quot;I can't talk&quot; are all indicators of a more serious problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An evaluation by a speech language pathologist is always warranted if the problem is of concern to parents. The Stuttering Foundation of America has great information at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stutteringhelp.org&quot;&gt;http://www.stutteringhelp.org&lt;/a&gt;. Their publication &quot;If You Think Your Child is Stuttering&quot; has valuable detailed information. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-08-05T11:19:16.923" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T11:19:16.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1716" CreationDate="2011-07-27T02:15:48.053" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a speech therapist and I have several children who exhibit mouthing behaviors. For some children, it appears that their sensory systems NEED more input and the mouth is rich in sensory receptors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may even be a connection in his need for speech services and his mouthing behavior. Some children have speech problems because they do not have good awareness of the movements of the parts of their mouth that form words. It seems that the area of the brain that controls the mouth needs more information to do a better job. So it creates a &quot;craving&quot; or seeks that information by direct contact with the world through the mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps your therapist can teach you some oral exercises that you can do with him to give him some intense and appropriate stimulation. Many of my little ones benefit from a vibrating toothbrush or a variety of blowing toys. A Jiggler is a vibrating toy that many of my younger patients enjoy. Chewing on licorice, beef jerky, taffy or other chewy substances is also often satisfying for others. Sucking games with straws and long crazy straws also provide age appropriate oral stimulation for some. Strong flavors will satisfy many oral sensory seekers, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-27T02:15:48.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1874" CreationDate="2011-07-27T02:37:23.737" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Movement is very calming for most infants. Rocking chairs, baby swings, and bouncers are designed just for that purpose. Of course,  they are really just good imitations of caregiver's knees, arms, backs, and shoulders that were greatly appreciated by my strained joints and muscles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Movement is important for developing the balance and muscle control centers (vestibular &amp;amp; proprioceptive systems) of the brain and vision of a young child. It may be that your imposed bed rest created the bodies &quot;craving&quot; for more intense sensation to &quot;catch up&quot; on the daily dose of movement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes riding in a car or stroller, sitting on top of a dryer with shoes inside (with caregiver close by of course), or bounced while lying on tummy across knees are other positions satisfying to some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-27T02:37:23.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2385" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-27T09:12:50.470" Score="13" ViewCount="333942" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-month-old son has started sleeping through the night, with a vengeance. He sleeps for &lt;em&gt;hours&lt;/em&gt;. And when he finally wakes up and I expect him to be starving, he's often still ready to happily play for a bit - say 1/2 hour to 45 min. Now, I know this isn't such normal behavior for a 3-month-old, and I'm definitely appreciating having my nights back, but I'm also a bit concerned - how long is the longest I should let him go without eating?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit (more details):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to try to stretch him and make his last feeding right before I went to sleep, so that I could take full advantage of his sleep-time. So we used to put him to bed about 12:30-1:00, and then head to sleep ourselves. He started off going about 6-7 hours... But a couple of weeks ago he started sleeping longer, and longer, and longer... Now he goes nearly 12 hours. He'll go to sleep at 12:30 AM and wake up at 12 PM or later. &lt;em&gt;And&lt;/em&gt; he'll then happily play for another half hour, making about 12 hours of no-eating. I generally trust that I can rely on him to tell me when he's hungry, but I was wondering if there's a limit to how long I can let him go without eating...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1340" LastEditorUserId="1340" LastEditDate="2011-07-27T11:33:31.737" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T08:42:15.980" Title="How long can a 3-month-old go without eating?" Tags="|infant|sleep|feeding|eating|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2385" CreationDate="2011-07-27T11:21:36.460" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;As always with regard to health-related questions: If you're actually concerned and not just curious, always consult your pediatrician. But here's my general answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the age of 3 months, regular eating/feeding patterns often haven't developed yet, so you can expect this to change again in the coming months. It is extremely rare that children have eating disabilities so unless you have a reason to suspect trouble, you should &lt;strong&gt;rely on the baby to tell you&lt;/strong&gt; when he's hungry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a good age to set up an &quot;ideal&quot; feeding schedule that suits you, and work toward actually meeting that schedule some of the time. In my family, we tried to pick a rhythm that fits into our schedule reasonably well and aimed at feeding every 3 hours - at 6,9,12,15,18,21 o'clock and then sleep through the night. In reality though, sometimes the intervals were less than 2 hours, or more than 4 hours, and of course every child is different. Don't be disheartened though; this improves over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If he's not in the lower end of weight and growth charts then I'd say he appears to be well-fed and &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; certainly wouldn't wake him no matter how long he sleeps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-27T11:41:35.460" LastActivityDate="2011-07-27T11:41:35.460" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2251" CreationDate="2011-07-27T11:58:20.997" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son appears to be having hypersensitive responses to texture. How long have you been trying more textured food? Gagging is a protective reflex. But, it and vomiting is not a pleasant experience. Children can quickly decide that food is no fun and even adversive. This can create feeding problems for years to come. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gagging and vomiting with food can indicate a variety of feeding issues. It is possible that he just needs texture introduced gradually for a while longer. I suspect this will be difficult since he is now rejecting textured food. He could also be suffering from several other problems including reflux or even difficulties related to his swallow mechanism (not likely, but possible). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need pleasant experiences with eating or they learn that eating should be avoided. This is my biggest concern for your child. Also, eating textured food is an important link for oral motor skills that are the foundation for development of speech skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a speech therapist who works with children with feeding difficulties, I recommend that he be seen for a feeding evaluation by a occupational or speech therapist. They will be able to help you plan an approach that will give you peace of mind and move your little one forward on developmental feeding skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-27T11:58:20.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2388" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-27T12:57:40.080" Score="4" ViewCount="16861" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has a tummy that sticks out. She is taller than most kids in her class, even the boys. My Wife is 5'9 and I am 6'0. We have tall family members as well. However, she constantly seems to have what you may call a 'toddler belly'. She is in the upper percentiles in weight and height. We don't feed her junk. However, if she has a Sprite (soda), then her tummy does get bigger. We try to keep her active as much as possible and she is involved in minor athletics such as cheerleading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it normal to have this belly sticking out? Will it ever go down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1341" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-07-27T16:17:24.143" LastActivityDate="2017-07-21T04:01:30.637" Title="Is it normal for a toddler belly to last into the pre-school years?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2388" CreationDate="2011-07-27T13:19:10.257" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand she's more than reasonably active, so I'd say &quot;wait and see&quot;; many kids have a big tummy, but it usually goes away before school starts unless there are other factors involved. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say she's near the top of the weight chart. Does that measure body weight vs. body size, or vs. age?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If vs. age then it would fit with being near the top of the growth chart; obviously tall people have more mass than short people.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If vs. body size then it means her BMI is high, but that doesn't have to be a sign of anything wrong or bad. Are you worried about this being a sign of obesity? Have you discussed this with the pediatrician, and what did he say?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-27T13:19:10.257" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2390" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-27T18:51:47.557" Score="8" ViewCount="130113" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will be travelling with two kids aged 15 and 18 in a car this upcoming month, and I would like to play some games in the car with them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know the game where you look for different license plates, and the alphabet game where you work your way through the alphabet by looking at road signs and such. I have heard of some other games which include something called &quot;ghost&quot;?  where each person says one letter to try and complete a word, making sure the final letter doesn't fall on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any other stimulating/involve the whole car type of games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="593" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T19:24:38.237" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T21:34:48.057" Title="What games are good to play with teens in the car?" Tags="|travel|games|teen|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2390" CreationDate="2011-07-27T19:08:01.597" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your examples sound like games for younger children. At age 15+18, I'd try to challenge them on a higher intellectual level, but in a fun way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you know the game &lt;em&gt;20 questions for the professor&lt;/em&gt;? It's a guessing game where one thinks of a person/thing/idea and the others must ask yes/no questions to zero in on the solution, and they must do it in no more than 20 questions. Be sure the &quot;professor&quot; writes down his or her item to prove if no one gets it.  Driver: have a couple ready so you can keep your hands on the wheel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, there's a game where everybody gets a post-it on their forehead, with a person's name on it (movie character, famous person, family oddball, etc.). You know what's on the others' post-it but not your own, and like above, you take turns asking the others &lt;em&gt;am I male&lt;/em&gt; kind of questions, again to zero in on the solution. Obviously using post-it's won't work in the car, but you can think of a solution to that - in the car!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-10-29T22:50:26.907" LastActivityDate="2012-10-29T22:50:26.907" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2390" CreationDate="2011-07-27T20:13:12.253" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A great game which can be played for hours is &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contact_%28word_game%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Contact&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A word master thinks of a word and says the first letter, for example C&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If one of the players thinks of a word which starts with this letter ,&#xA;he asks a question about a word, for example, is this an animal if he&#xA;thinks of a cat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If second player can think of an answer which starts with the letter, he says &quot;Contact&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Countdown begins from 10 to 1. During the countdown the word master has to think about an animal which starts with a letter. He can say no, it is not cow (Of course, if the word he has in mind is not indeed an animal). This answer is acceptable because it is an animal starting with the defined letter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If by the end of countdown word master did not come up with the word, players in contact have to say the word they have in mind simultaneously. If the say the same word, word master has to give the next letter of the word. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The game continues till players guess the word.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-07-27T20:13:12.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2393" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2397" CreationDate="2011-07-27T21:21:22.597" Score="2" ViewCount="332" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old sister gets crazy and starts crying over &quot;nothing&quot;. My parents agree that this is a problem, but they have no clue what to do. Luckily I know about SE :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if this is on-topic as I am not a parent as such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;THIS IS NOT A FAD / CRAZE / WHATEVER. It has been happening for a long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1343" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-28T11:08:19.260" LastActivityDate="2011-07-28T11:08:19.260" Title="8yo has crazy mood swings and gets mad over nothing" Tags="|siblings|primary-schooler|crying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2011-07-28T10:56:45.900" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2104" CreationDate="2011-07-28T02:21:37.477" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;All pacifiers are not created equal! The design of the nipple either encourages, interferes with or compensates for lack of development of normal oral motor control. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The gag is a protective reflex and is usually triggered by touch to the posterior 1/3 of the tongue. If the pacifier is too long it will naturally elicit a gag in children with normal reflexes. Perhaps your child's sucking reflex is developmentally becoming stronger and therefore he's more sensitive. Enlarged tonsils can cause a gag reflex to be more sensitive also. And some children are less tolerant of oral stimulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A broad and flat nipple can slow development of tongue grooving which is an important for controlling a liquid or food bolus for swallowing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son gagged on all nipples and meat consistency baby foods. He is 28 and a college graduate and is still a very picky eater that cannot tolerate more textured foods. This is one of the differences that he was born with that makes him unique. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you mention that he sometimes spits up, I wonder if reflux episodes could be the reason he is gagging. Perhaps he wants the pacifier because he's experiencing some indigestion and sucking is calming his system, until the reflux surfaces causing the gag and spit up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying shorter or different pacifiers, monitoring for signs/symptoms of reflux, and rule out enlarged tonsils are all reasonable approaches to address this behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-18T01:06:47.470" LastActivityDate="2011-09-18T01:06:47.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2395" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-28T03:11:11.637" Score="8" ViewCount="1569" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is 17 months old and has been in cloth diapers since he was 1 month old. About two months ago he got blisters on his penis. The doctor said it was a bacterial infection and to put triple antibiotic ointment on it. We used disposables during this time and it cleared up. When we switched back to cloth, the blisters returned. Since then we have stripped the cloth diapers, switch detergents, and stripped again. He is okay when wearing them after being stripped but the blisters return whenever we do a plain wash. Both detergents we have tried are on the approved detergent list provided by the diaper manufacturer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate the thought of switching to disposables but I don't know of another way to avoid blisters. (Anytime he wears disposables, no blisters.) Any ideas or suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A little more information regarding our situation that may help with answers. We used Planet Ultra for over a year, then switched to Rockin' Green. We only wash the diapers with these detergents (no clothing). He hasn't gotten any rashes or blisters anywhere except his penis. We don't use any ointment when he is in cloth diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;stripped&quot; means a wash with Dawn soap and liquid bleach followed by numerous rinses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1345" LastEditorUserId="1345" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T01:29:45.527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T15:08:33.687" Title="Should we switch from cloth to disposable diapers?" Tags="|health|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2395" CreationDate="2011-07-28T07:36:48.297" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;You seem to have tried everything short of making your own detergent, and yet cloth diapers = blisters, disposable = no blisters. Seems a done deal to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although we use disposables, if we had the same experience but the other way around, I'd switch to cloth diapers in the blink of an eye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-07-28T07:36:48.297" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2393" CreationDate="2011-07-28T10:16:41.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it is an ongoing problem, maybe your parents should take her to a child psychiatrist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe this is an episode, and if so, surely the psychiatrist will catch that and there will be not much to worry about. If it isn't an episode, it's something to pay serious attention to to make sure it doesn't escalate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adult problems can find their roots in child problems. I know an adult woman who, as a child, had untreated psychological problems and she developed Borderline Personality Disorder later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may of course be many factors at work here, but I wouldn't rule anything out -- and so professional help seems in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="524" LastActivityDate="2011-07-28T10:16:41.367" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-07-28T23:43:31.827" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Busy toddlers burn lots of calories. A child that is not gaining weight steadily can be in danger of not meeting their nutritional needs. This is the reason for your physician's concern. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting your little one to eat more is likely to be very difficult. Therefore, making each mouthful have the greatest caloric impact is the most likely to add those needed ounces. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some strategies for adding calories. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add 1 or 2 tablespoons of &lt;strong&gt;nonfat dry milk powder&lt;/strong&gt; to casseroles, muffins, cooked cereal, pancakes, puddings, mashed potatoes scrambled eggs, meatloaf, whole milk, milkshakes, yogurt, and even her formula. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add a &lt;strong&gt;powdered breakfast drink&lt;/strong&gt; (such as Instant Breakfast®) to:milk, milkshakes, smoothies, or ice cream. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add &lt;strong&gt;extra margarine or butter&lt;/strong&gt; to: cooked cereal, rice, pasta dishes, sandwiches, potatoes, and vegetables. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add &lt;strong&gt;cheese&lt;/strong&gt; to: casseroles, meatloaf, crackers, sandwiches, hamburgers, soups, mashed potatoes, and vegetables. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spread &lt;strong&gt;cream cheese or peanut butter&lt;/strong&gt; (watch for allergies) on: crackers, muffins, fruit slices, pancakes, graham crackers, and pretzels. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Include &lt;strong&gt;supplements&lt;/strong&gt;, such as:Boost® Pediasure®, Carnation Instant Sport shakes® &amp;amp; Breakfast®, and Yo-J®. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For &lt;strong&gt;extra protein&lt;/strong&gt;, offer more of these foods: eggs, milk, cheese, peanut butter, cottage cheese, puddings, legumes, ricotta cheese, meats, &amp;amp; yogurt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These strategies are recommended by dieticians. You may even want to ask your physician for a referral for a dietary consult with a dietician that can help you with a very specific plan for your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-08-16T05:00:11.840" LastActivityDate="2011-08-16T05:00:11.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1067" CreationDate="2011-07-29T00:10:10.850" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Learning language and speech is very complex. Because children acquire language without &quot;formal instruction,&quot; we often fail to recognize the enormity of task. Children learn sentences by adding a word or two to their average spontaneous utterances as their gain vocabulary and skill with language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a speech language pathologist, a very general rule of thumb is that 2 year olds should be using 2 word phrases or longer. When speaking with children, adults sometimes use sentences that are MUCH longer. This higher level language is just too much for some youngster to decode so they keep it simple by communicating with single words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Begin where your child is and model the very next step. If he is using only single words, repeat his word and add only one word to it. For example, he says: milk. You respond with: want milk? After using this strategy for a while, combining words will &quot;click.&quot; Then the challenge will be for you to use 3-4 words (and no more) when he is using 2 word phrases. Keeping just one step ahead of your child is the key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a child to imitate a longer sentence actually trains different areas of the brain than setting them up for spontaneous although shorter utterances. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T00:10:10.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="158" CreationDate="2011-07-29T00:47:13.673" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that your daughter really wants to stop sucking their thumb but habit sabotages her efforts at night. The following technique has been helpful for other children who wanted to quit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use an ace bandage and wrap her arm from 6 inches above to 6 inches below her elbow of the arm with the offending thumb. Wrap both if she sucks both. The wrap SHOULD NOT be tight! The goal is that when she bends her arm to place the digit in her mouth, the increased tension will be just enough to alert her to the behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another parent cut the fingers out of the child's glove leaving the thumb. He enjoyed wearing his special Michael Jackson glove even during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T01:43:12.830" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T01:43:12.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2402" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-29T03:28:06.653" Score="31" ViewCount="4862" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have four weeks left of the worst nannying position of my life. I originally thought the job would be great, three kids that seemed a little naughty but manageable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The interview went great and the trial baby-sits went fine, but the eight year old has literally made this the worst summer of my life. He's threatened to kill me multiple times, constantly swears at me, has taken a kitchen knife and tried to kill me and his brother, kicks, punches me, lies, steals... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've pulled out every trick in my bag, I've tried 123 Magic, which works with his other siblings, but he just mocks me, kicks me, swears at me, threatens to call the cops and runs out to a friends house. It's miserable. The worst is that his blatant disrespect is having a terrible effect on the middle kid, who will listen to whatever the older one says and go crazy while I'm discipling the older kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm getting no support from the parents. They just laugh and say their children are bad. I have four weeks more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I quit, get no recommendation, lose my salary, regain my dignity, or stick it out and be miserable? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1349" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-08T14:14:55.500" LastActivityDate="2018-10-08T14:14:55.500" Title="Should the nanny quit when the parents don't care about their dangerous children?" Tags="|primary-schooler|abuse|babysitting|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2011-07-29T04:55:26.000" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best success we have had is in giving her one thing at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ie, instead of giving her potatoes and meat, we give her potatoes. When that got boring, we try a bit of boiled carrot. And when she doesn't want that we give her some meat. And when finally she wants no food at all, we give her a bit of yogurt as dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has kick-started the weight-gain again and she took an a lot the last month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T04:55:26.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2402" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:12:11.817" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, if the parents just laugh it off and at the same time confirm that they are bad &lt;strong&gt;-- leave.&lt;/strong&gt; These kids are not yours; they're just a job. Your life and sanity is worth a better job. If you can, move on to a better job and forget about this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see anythIng in your question to say that you really &lt;em&gt;need or want&lt;/em&gt; to keep the job, except for the fleeting details such as salary and a recommendation. But as soon as you've landed the next gig, those things don't matter anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be too concerned about those kids. If not even the parents care, why should you? The next family is bound to appreciate you more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:12:11.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2402" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:12:44.063" Score="48" Body="&lt;p&gt;Leave.  Leave now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's clearly &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; seriously wrong.  Whether it's bad parenting, a psychological disorder, or something else entirely, it is beyond your control and you are liable for the welfare and actions of the children in your charge.  Don't end up under criminal neglect charges or worse because you can't change the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect criminal abuse/neglect is going on, report the parents to the appropriate authorities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; take a career hit by leaving, but far less than the one you would take for having someone sue you, or press criminal charges, for something that happens here.  Being the nanny who walked away from a bad situation without a reference is a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; better than being the nanny whose 8yo charge stabbed another child, and with three in your charge you can't have hold of all of them at once.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rules of good behavior aren't just for the caregiver's sanity, it's for the children's safety!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:12:44.063" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2406" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2407" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:24:24.567" Score="4" ViewCount="18066" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-mo has been chewing on anything that comes his way for the past 2 months now. We initially thought this was because he would be teething soon. But nothing has come up yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be giving him any calcium supplements to help with the process or it'll just take its time? Right now he feeds on breast milk, mashed fruits and veggies and baby food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1028" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T15:46:11.613" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T20:42:26.187" Title="Are calcium supplements helpful for a teething infant?" Tags="|infant|teething|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2406" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:50:13.220" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your description sounds like teething all right, and it fits with the age. Teething &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; take a long time, and &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be invisible for a good part of that time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've not heard of calcium &lt;strong&gt;supplements&lt;/strong&gt; for teething, but your pediatrician likely has a professional opinion on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for &lt;strong&gt;foods,&lt;/strong&gt; you can try giving him something that has a little bit of consistency, like small pieces of well-boiled potato. He can chew that with his gums, even without teeth. Try increasing the firmness of foods to see what his preferences are, but be careful that he doesn't choke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also offer suitable teething &lt;strong&gt;toys&lt;/strong&gt; - objects with different shapes, textures, and firmness that are interesting for the baby to explore with the mouth. Many such toys can be stored in the refrigerator so that their coolness has a nice soothing effect on the gums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:50:13.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2408" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:56:25.820" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T06:56:25.820" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:56:25.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2409" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:56:25.820" Score="0" Body="Questions about development and health of teeth. See also the tags [teething] and [brushing-teeth]." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T06:56:25.820" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:56:25.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2410" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:57:58.253" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T06:57:58.253" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:57:58.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2411" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:57:58.253" Score="0" Body="Questions about whether, when, and how teeth appear in infants. See also [teeth] about general questions, and [brushing-teeth] about cleaning." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T06:57:58.253" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:57:58.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2412" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:59:40.730" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T06:59:40.730" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:59:40.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2413" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-07-29T06:59:40.730" Score="0" Body="Questions about how and when to brush teeth. See also the tag [teeth] about general teeth questions." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T06:59:40.730" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T06:59:40.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2414" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-07-29T07:00:08.233" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T07:00:08.233" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T07:00:08.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2415" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-07-29T07:00:08.233" Score="0" Body="Questions specifically about teeth grinding. See also the tag [teeth] about general questions." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T07:00:08.233" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T07:00:08.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2416" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3615" CreationDate="2011-07-29T08:02:19.560" Score="16" ViewCount="2026" Body="&lt;p&gt;We want to convert our son's cot into a bed this weekend (starting Friday evening). We think it's time to transition because he often tries to climb out (but fails &lt;em&gt;yet&lt;/em&gt;), and during daytime playing he manages to climb in by leaning a pillow against the outside of the cot - but he cannot climb out again because the mattress is very low. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our biggest problem is that our son &lt;strong&gt;is very likely to NOT stay in his bed&lt;/strong&gt; because he is extremely energetic (compared to other toddlers we know) despite our best efforts to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/468/dos-and-donts-for-an-effective-bedtime-ritual&quot;&gt;have a calming bedtime routine&lt;/a&gt;.  We've tried earlier to take out the removable spokes from the cot but had to put them back in because he wouldn't stay in his cot. This time, we're considering to put up a gate in his room's door just to keep his freedom limited, but that might not be the best solution. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What is the best way to train staying in bed, when there are no bars to keep him in bed?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're hoping that he will stay in bed once he &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; fall asleep, although he moves a lot in his sleep so some nights he'll probably end up on the play mattress in front of the bed (less than 15cm lower, so no safety risk). Our focus now is on getting him to stay in the bed for long enough to fall asleep in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(There's only &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/161/when-should-i-transition-a-2-year-old-toddler-from-the-cot-to-a-bed&quot;&gt;one earlier question&lt;/a&gt; along the same lines, but not as specific as I hope this one is.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This really hasn't gone so well yet. He never gets out of bed during the night, but &lt;strong&gt;falling asleep alone is a big problem&lt;/strong&gt; -- he requires one of us to be present in his room until he sleeps. Even though we provide no interaction, just presence, it's still problematic for us because it usually takes 30 minutes and often more, up to an hour. This is not a good use of our very limited evening time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have just started a new attempt, following &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/161/when-should-i-transition-a-2-year-old-toddler-from-the-cot-to-a-bed/178#178&quot;&gt;HedgeMage's advice here&lt;/a&gt; (&lt;em&gt;&quot;put him to bed again without interaction, and again, again&quot;&lt;/em&gt;), but without much luck so far. It takes him more than an hour of this to exhaust himself to the point of sleep. My wife is not convinced of this method, but I'm advocating that we do this for a week before giving up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope to be able to post a success story soon, but stay tuned...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T16:28:59.030" Title="When upgrading our toddler from a cot to a bed, how do we keep him in his bed?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2417" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2423" CreationDate="2011-07-29T09:41:17.450" Score="24" ViewCount="4554" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/TLDR&quot;&gt;TL;DR&lt;/a&gt; version: Toddler doesn't understand disciplining. Help needed.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 22 months, our toddler is incredibly active and always has been. He's also mostly very well-behaved, especially when being babysat alone with grandma, or when dad or others are around -- even to the point of carrying his dishes to the sink and such. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he is often misbehaving when he's only supervised by mom.  I'm feeling certain that mom demonstrates more than reasonable patience, and that the relevant rules are enforced with &gt;97% consistency, so I don't think that mom needs to change herself. I think &lt;strong&gt;the level of disciplining needs to go up, but how?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is not misbehaving out of anger, merely for his own enjoyment. Although his naps are generally short, he's only slightly less prone to misbehave when he's well rested anyway. He's not spoiled and buried in toys but he has enough that he doesn't play with all of them. He very rarely plays by himself for more than 5 minutes, so it's very difficult to get anything done while he's awake (cleaning, cooking, reading, calling, mailing, working). I'm sure he gets more than enough attention, but he seems to be craving for permanent, undivided attention but that's just not possible. He does get plenty of positive attention, and plenty of praise for the many good things he does. The problem is that mom can't give him attention &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Misbehaving includes throwing things; pulling plants' leaves; climbing and jumping on furniture; ramming his ride-on car into walls and furniture; running onto the street; etc. He knows he is breaking a rule, and misbehaves anyway - repeatedly, if he can. This takes quite a toll on mom, and needs to change. After all, even the most patient of parents can only lovingly correct him so many times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Corrections may escalate from a stern &quot;no&quot; and removing the toy, to removing him from the location, to sitting him down and explain in short and clear terms what's right and wrong. After enough times there's just no patience left (nor energy), especially when it's been going on all day, all week, all month. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't believe in physical punishment (spanking etc.). We do believe that our son clearly understands what we tell him, and when he's not alone with mom, he demonstrates that he clearly understands the rules that exist. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In answers to other questions, &lt;strong&gt;I've seen &quot;time-out&quot; and the &quot;1-2-3 method&quot; mentioned&lt;/strong&gt; as effective, but I don't see my son reacting to that -- he is not the kind of kid you can sit down on a mat and say &quot;stay!&quot;, especially not when only mom is around. &#xA;When he's placed in his room, he just leaves the room (he can open all doors unless they're locked or gated). When he's placed in his cot, he cries loudly and doesn't stop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would (perhaps naively) expect an older child to understand and, to some degree, respect disciplining activities -- but our son, at this age, just doesn't seem to notice or care. It feels as if he's too young to grasp the concept of disciplining, but I think that's not accurate; we just haven't found the right method yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom is at her wits' end, and needs a workable solution. &lt;strong&gt;Help!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-29T21:45:01.987" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T15:29:43.547" Title="How can we discipline our toddler?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2406" CreationDate="2011-07-29T09:55:55.743" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like Torben's said, it definitely sounds like teething.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, there's no way to 'speed' it up - until the teeth bud and erupt, your son is going to drool, gnaw and put anything he can in his mouth to alleviate the itching/burning sensation in there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also never heard of calcium supplements for teething, and would also recommend a talk with your doctor; adding extra calcium to his diet might effect his iron levels negatively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pieces of fruit from the 'fridge were a hit with my son, as were carrot sticks.  They were large enough that he could hold them and gnaw on, but not choke upon.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is a clean cloth diaper - soak it in water and tie a small knot in the middle, then place it in the freezer for a half hour to an hour.  It's another texture he can experiment on, but not injure himself with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T09:55:55.743" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2417" CreationDate="2011-07-29T13:45:45.700" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers, especially those your son's age, crave attention. He has probably learned by now that he will get attention when he misbehaves--he knows that all he has to do is [insert destructive behavior here] to get some definite and direct attention from Mom. Never mind that she's saying &quot;no&quot; or &quot;don't do that&quot; or other words of discipline, it's attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because your son is misbehaving so often and because his mom is being so consistent with the discipline, your son is no doubt getting plenty of attention. Of course the consistent disciplining is necessary, but that also means your son is going to hear a lot of &quot;no&quot; and &quot;don't do that&quot; and so on. It is important to remember to balance that discipline with words of praise for his good actions. If your son's misbehavior is linked in any way to a desire for attention, then getting attention through praise and encouragement will likely reduce the misbehavior. In fact, if he's carrying the dishes to the sink for grandma, I wouldn't be surprised if it's because she showers him with praise and extra attention when he does (if she's anything like our toddler's grandparents)! Just a guess...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Constructive group activities (like building something together with blocks) and creative activities (like coloring/drawing/painting together) are not only fun but provide many opportunities for parents to praise and encourage children. Of course it requires time and patience to do these activities together, but the positive attention can work wonders for a toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T13:45:45.700" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2416" CreationDate="2011-07-29T14:07:05.057" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just upgraded our toddler from a crib to a toddler bed, and we were concerned for the same reasons. There are a few toys and lots of books in her room, and we weren't sure how she would do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess we got lucky because she didn't have any problem staying in bed &lt;em&gt;as she was falling asleep&lt;/em&gt;. However, she usually wakes up 30-60 minutes before we get her out of her room for the day. When she was in the crib, she had no choice but to stay in bed. But with the toddler bed, she was free to get up, move around, and play with anything accessible when she woke up in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is how we handled it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We gated the room.&lt;/strong&gt; You said this might not be the best solution, but I see no problem with it. The gate is not there for punishment, you are simply trying to help him understand that his room is where he is supposed to be when it's time to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We put the toys in the closet.&lt;/strong&gt; We did not want toys to be the reason our toddler got out of bed, so we moved the toy bin to the closet during the night. In fact, that has become its permanent place--we pull it out as needed during the day, and put it back when we're done.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We left the books out.&lt;/strong&gt; Our daughter loves books, so we considered putting them in the closet at night as well. In the end, however, we decided not to. If our daughter is going to be awake in her room for an hour before we get her, we figure that books aren't a problem at all. Now when we come to get her out of her room for the day, we typically find her on her bed with 3 or 4 books.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I mentioned, we haven't had many problems getting our toddler to stay in bed when she's falling asleep. If this is a concern for your toddler, one potential solution is stories and/or songs alongside his bed to calm him down after he's tucked in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If after your best efforts he is still not staying in bed, I wouldn't worry about it too much. In the short term, his exhaustion will eventually overpower his stubbornness. In the long term, if you are consistent with the bedtime routine he will eventually learn to stay in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T14:07:05.057" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1503" CreationDate="2011-07-29T14:53:16.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're on baby number three and we have seen each of our kids change their sleeping habits around 6 months. We also see that our 7 month old daughter has two different sleeping based, which is completely based upon the time that she gets up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T14:53:16.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2301" CreationDate="2011-07-29T14:58:12.160" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has the primary responsibility of getting up in the middle of the night and dealing with kids. We have three children, we both sleep at the same time and she still get's plenty of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure your kids eat a good dinner and go to bed at the same time every night. This will help you get your sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question, it is perfectly fine for both parents to be sleeping at the same time. My wife is very alert. When my wife was in the hospital having another baby, I was responsible for the kids, I normally sleep very hard and it's impossible to wake me, but when it was my turn I was very alert knowing that I needed to monitor them at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's completely safe for both parents to sleep at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T14:58:12.160" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2417" CreationDate="2011-07-29T15:31:40.340" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;From you description you are not doing timeouts right. I did the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supernanny&quot;&gt;Supernanny&lt;/a&gt; method (not sure if she is known in your part of the world). &#xA;Basic rules:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Timeout lasts as many minutes as your child's age. So in your case it will be 1 and a half or 2 minutes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When child misbehaves, you give one warning and next time there is a&#xA;timeout. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For the timeout you put the child in the designated place&#xA;(naughty chair or naughty step), get down to the child's level and&#xA;explain to him why he is getting a timeout and then start the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child gets up, which he will, you silently and patiently(this is a key) put him back and start time again. It can take a while, first several times especially.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the time is over, you to get down to the child's level and look him in the eyes  repeat what was the timeout for and your child has to apologize. This is the trickiest part with the small child, I did not always go through with apologizing. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then you tell him that you love him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that the incident is over.  It is very important to follow through: once you gave a warning there is no way back. You have to be calm and don't get angry. But if warning worked just let it go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several things you are achieving when you do timeout this way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You take the child out of the situation &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You take yourself out of the situation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You withdraw your attention for the time of timeout&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You create an understanding of consequences &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it looks to me that your child has a lot of energy:  going to the playground or park will take most of the energy out and also will give him the opportunity to do things he can't do at home.&#xA;Yes, it is difficult to get anything done with the toddler at home. That is why you have to help your wife with cleaning and cooking and don't assume that she can do everything just because she is at home all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorUserId="1711" LastEditDate="2011-10-08T10:59:41.660" LastActivityDate="2011-10-08T10:59:41.660" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="165" CreationDate="2011-07-29T18:30:30.913" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children with autism are each very different but communication tends to be difficult for most of them. Getting a child with autism is speak is usually a great challenge even for a trained speech therapist, so know that there is usually no quick fix. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Observe carefully your child's communication. Encourage eye contact by holding object he desires near your face when you speak. For sign language choose a few words such as &quot;more&quot; and &quot;eat&quot; and help him form the signs by shaping his hand movements each time he would appropriately use the word. Choosing a few words that he can use many times each day give him lots of opportunities to practice and learn them before adding new signs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For vocalizations, as a speech therapist, I've found that many of my children will imitate a sound in an &quot;echo chamber&quot; which is a large mouthed bucket or bowl. The echo microphones do not work as well because they tend to put their mouth on the device. The large mouthed bowl/bucket is less likely to stimulate the desire to place the rim in the mouth. I begin by copying any sound that the child makes (often a grunt or whine or cry). I hold the echo chamber near my face and match the child's sound EXACTLY or as close as possible. I use the same intensity, length, and pitch used by the child, then immediately turn the bowl toward their face and wait. Sometimes, they will move their lips or appear to be trying to make a sound but cannot. Clap and celebrate their effort and continue the process. As they are able to repeat the sound, then begin to change it up a bit. Stretching out the sound longer, repeating it twice or changing just one sound in it. As their imitation skills improve, continue the process until they are able to repeat words and phrases. The is not an overnight process, but I've seen it work for many, many children. Be sure to include all family members in this new imitation game, and he will be more likely to enjoy it. Make it fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask parents to imitate every sound their child makes for 5 minutes each day. This helps the parents recognize the variety of sounds a child makes and in what context and gives the child feedback and focuses his attention on his own vocalizations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, communication using pictures is often another helpful strategy to begin with children with autism. Take photos or box covers of his favorite foods, toys, etc. Keep the objects out of his reach and have the photos nearby. Have him begin by reaching for the photo and then he is rewarded with the object. You can put the food photos on the fridge or cabinet and toys on the closet doors. Use no more than 2 choices at the start. Help him select the photo in the beginning and reward him immediately so he makes the connection between the two. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your speech therapist will help you along the process and give more specific ideas that fit your little one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-29T18:30:30.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2417" CreationDate="2011-07-29T18:53:46.213" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that negative attention may be just as rewarding for your little one as positive attention. Therein lies the challenge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also agree that the Supernanny method works, but it must be enforced consistently and may demand great energy, effort, patience, and time from mom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have used a reverse time out method I developed with good results at least in a therapy setting. It works like this. I immediately get on the child's level moving quickly (even suddenly. Grasp both of child's hands in mine and say in a very stern voice, &quot;No you do not [insert unacceptable behavior] and repeat statement several times looking directly in child's eyes. Then while still holding the child's hands, I dropped my gaze to the floor and look down. I continue holding the child's hands to the count of 10 or until they stop pulling away (if they do), while I keep my head down. Then I release the hands and go back to interacting just as if nothing had happened. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems this unusually behavior from an adult increases their focus on the problem while taking away the joy of the attention (positive or negative) because they do not have the parent's eye contact.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-11T02:20:03.000" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T02:20:03.000" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2426" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-07-30T00:12:56.007" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Couvade syndrome, also called sympathetic pregnancy or (in the U.K.) phantom pregnancy, is a condition in which a man experiences some of the same symptoms and behavior of an expectant mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:12:56.007" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T00:12:56.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2427" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-07-30T00:12:56.007" Score="0" Body="Couvade syndrome is a condition in which a man experiences some of the same symptoms and behavior of an expectant mother." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T00:12:56.007" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T00:12:56.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2158" CreationDate="2011-07-30T03:04:35.843" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The medical term for this condition is macroorchidism. This condition is sometimes related to children with the diagnosis of Fragile X Syndrome. However, macroorchidism is present in children who do not have Fragile X or any other serious medical condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, some children are born with fluid around the testes that usually reabsorbs with time. Your physician would likely have recognized excess fluid if present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should continue to discuss this or any other concerns you might have with your doctor until you are satisfied with the information you have received.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T03:04:35.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2011-07-30T12:14:25.287" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When those first pearly whites emerge (or even before) begin using an Infadent brush. This soft sleeve with fine bristles fits over the tip of an adults finger. It is dense enough to protect from bites and feels good to gums. And, it comes with an &quot;infant&quot; toothpaste and is easily cleaned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, graduate to a vibrating toothbrush. The vibration is of great benefit to ones with oral sensory sensitivities and makes toothbrushing fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toothbrushing requires refined motor movements. Toddlers are just learning to move one hand across the midline of their body (the preceding developmental level is moving hands together at midline).  Making refined short movements in a tiny space (the distance of the horizontal surface of a tooth) are difficult. They have just learned to hold a spoon and hitting their mouths (maybe). And making squiggly marks in a 1/2 inch space without getting &quot;out of the lines&quot; is not likely. Yet that's what we are basically asking of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rotating their wrist up and down or laterally is equivalent to me doing a somersault. It is not going to happen with a pleasant outcome. If their movement is not smooth and refined the results are pushing too far causing a gag or poking tender tissue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add to this that moving their tongues for feeding is a new and unrefined skill. Do you ever have problems keeping your tongue away from where the dentist is working? And how long have you been practicing oral motor skills? They are more skilled at biting and sucking. That's what they have had the most experience doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No wonder they get frustrated and refuse to do a task that is so risky and difficult for them. My definition of toddler could be &quot;independence seeker&quot;. Yes, it would be easier if you did the task for them, but goes against their &quot;I'll do it myself&quot; agenda at this age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The strategies listed in this post are about motivating a child to keep trying. Being aware of the difficulty of the task of toothbrushing will help you understand his resistance and discover reinforcers that are worth his effort and discomfort and gain his cooperation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-07-30T15:33:05.683" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T15:33:05.683" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2011-07-30T13:11:10.317" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is the only medical research that I am aware of that connects immunizations with earlier onset of seizures in this disorder: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.onmedica.com/newsarticle.aspx?id=e7c292a8-9949-4a65-91f1-3a80d51a7f3b&quot;&gt;http://www.onmedica.com/newsarticle.aspx?id=e7c292a8-9949-4a65-91f1-3a80d51a7f3b&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This article emphasizes that the immunization does not cause the disease, but it does appear to cause it to manifest earlier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FYI: Here is a link to an exhaustive investigative work on the source of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://briandeer.com/solved/story-highlights.htm&quot;&gt;MMR-Autism vaccine scare&lt;/a&gt;. It is lengthy, but very enlightening!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-10-02T19:22:42.040" LastActivityDate="2011-10-02T19:22:42.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2011-07-30T14:03:41.950" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children (humans for that matter) are all sensory based beings. Changing from a parent's embrace to a bed is a major change in sensory experiences. Specifically, the smell, temperature, density/softness, body orientation, and touch/texture are different. These changes stimulate most of the 7 sensory systems in the body (vestibular, proprioceptive, olfactory, tactile, visual, taste, and auditory sensors). Stimulation increases alertness which translates to awake or even startle and discomfort for some children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children (including my son) have difficulty fully integrating the combined information from all these systems resulting in great difficulty self-regulating or calming themselves  when becoming upset. He could never &quot;cry it out&quot; though at the physician's directions we let him cry for hours until we learned about his sensory integration/processing deficits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The challenge is to reduce the differences a child experiences during the transition from arms to the bed. Or, at least maximize calming sensations that reduce his &quot;alarm&quot; or &quot;arousal&quot; system. Calming strategies include calming sounds/noises (a sound machine, fan or even humidifier motor can work), rhythmical movement (bouncing, rocking, patting), deep pressure and warmth (swaddling, heavy cover, bunching arms/legs close to body), darkness (my son was photo sensitive and awakened when lights were turned on in distant rooms), and smells and textures (a piece of my silky gown provided the comforting scent and texture - for others silky binding on a favorite blanket works). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You keen observation and following your child's led will give you the answers you are searching for and help you understand just what makes your child unique. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T14:03:41.950" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2432" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2442" CreationDate="2011-07-30T16:01:48.623" Score="16" ViewCount="1234" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a professional working with families, I am often asked about imaginary friends. I never experienced this behavior with my own son so I have little personal information to share. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One child required that a place be made for the &quot;friend&quot; at mealtimes complete with chair and food. She scolded people for sitting in her friend's chair or sitting in her place in the car. This lasted for several years. She is now a middle age lady who can tell you the names and description of her friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This lady has struggled with relationships and inappropriate behavior over the years. I am wondering if there is any relationship between her imaginative friends and her lifelong behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should parents &quot;adopt&quot; their children's imaginary friends or discourage their presence? If they should be discouraged, what strategies are helpful?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-21T15:52:39.590" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T15:52:39.590" Title="Should imaginary friends be accepted or discouraged?" Tags="|behavior|imaginative-play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2433" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2435" CreationDate="2011-07-30T18:40:50.663" Score="16" ViewCount="15202" Body="&lt;p&gt;During the night my 7-week-old will fuss in his sleep (grunt, flail, etc...).  This fussing rarely proceeds to crying but he usually will not settle on his own.  When I pick him up he will usually settle down and most of the time he is wet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I typically treat this fussing the same as all out crying and respond to him immediately but it has been suggested to me that I may want to let him &quot;fuss it out&quot; for a while so learns to settle himself down (or at least until he starts crying).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I treat fussing the same as crying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:27:07.607" LastActivityDate="2011-12-18T02:27:07.607" Title="Should I respond to &quot;fussing&quot; the same as crying in an infant?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2011-07-30T19:11:00.893" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not familiar with the book, however, in therapy, I use a 1-2-3 count with a bit of a twist. I state the desired behavior. If no appropriate response, I begin counting - 1. I restate the desired behavior. If no indication of change, I ask, Do you need help? Then add - 2.  When I say 3, I provide immediate even sudden hand over assist to get the job done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This works best for tasks that I can physically assist in the action - such as come here, sit down, or get the [insert object]. I speak matter of factly giving direct eye contact and attention. I pause several moments between numbers to allow time for compliance. The physical assist is not in a friendly coddling manner, but rather directed and brisk. As soon as the desire action is completed I respond with &quot;thank you&quot; or &quot;good job&quot; and proceed with a smile as if nothing unusual has happened. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a school aged child who has a better concept of time, a 3 strikes version may be useful. A child is trained that everyone makes mistakes and acts inappropriately at times and this system is explained. Bad or inappropriate behavior is confronted simply in a soft voice with the statement: That's number one. If bad behavior continues or is repeated at anytime during the day, the child is prompted with: That's number two. If the violation occurs once again during the day, the predetermined consequence is enforced. This will be different depending on the child. It may be a loss of privileges or other predetermined actions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each day begins with a new opportunity and even if there were 2 strikes the day before, the slate is wiped clean. Three new strikes are allowed every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T19:11:00.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2433" CreationDate="2011-07-30T19:31:33.380" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that's good advice. Try to ignore light fussing. Wait and see if it develops into something more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were told the same by the midwife, and at least for us it was good. Most of the time, our son stopped fussing again on his own. If he didn't, we'd sometimes tuck him in a little and that would be enough. Sometimes it was the beginning of some real unhappiness (diaper etc.) which we of course responded to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing that it's okay to &lt;em&gt;not act&lt;/em&gt; on many of the smaller disturbances allowed us more rest, which we appreciated a lot. We got plenty of nightly interruptions anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-30T19:31:33.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2433" CreationDate="2011-07-30T21:17:20.690" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always responded to his whining and grunting, but now I wish I had not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I now know that children need to learn to self-regulate or calm themselves independent of adult intervention. Learning this skill early is important for later emotional development and even supports problem solving. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son struggled with self-regulation early on and I think I could have gotten him off to a better start if I had known what I did not know. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-08-11T00:21:11.797" LastActivityDate="2011-08-11T00:21:11.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-07-31T01:13:35.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading Rainbow, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, and Captain Kangaroo if you can locate them would probably meet your criteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T01:13:35.963" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2271" CreationDate="2011-07-31T01:44:44.033" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did find research on the effect of milk temperature￼ on preterm infants at &lt;a href=&quot;http://milkbank.com/pdf/Stanford_Study_milk_feeding_temperature.pdf&quot;&gt;http://milkbank.com/pdf/Stanford_Study_milk_feeding_temperature.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A summary of the results included the following statement: The infants in this study had a similar tolerance (as measured by gastric residuals) to both cool temperature milk (10°C) and room temperature milk (24°C). Based on these data, there appears to be no advantage to warming frozen or refrigerated milk to room temperature. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study did reveal better tolerance for warmed milk for these fragile infants.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T01:44:44.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="589" CreationDate="2011-07-31T04:50:08.480" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5 year old asthmatic boy who does this and it is one of the first signs that he is starting to have issues with a flare-up of his asthma. I first noticed it while listening to him watching TV in another room. Our pediatrician says what is happening is he is overpressurizing his lungs to help him get more air into the constricted spaces. He doesn't even realize he's doing it. Once he starts to do it we have to switch to our more agressive management protocol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1353" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T04:50:08.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="455" CreationDate="2011-07-31T08:17:14.237" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Aside from asking people with children for recommendations, try asking an OB/GYN. They see a lot of new mothers, and they know a lot of other doctors, and word gets around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case, my wife's OB/GYN (whom she'd been visiting for several years, and trusted implicitly) also happened to be a father of eight . He recommended a local pediatrics office, said that any of the doctors at that office would be fine, and also told us that if one particular doctor had any openings, we should opt for him. We did, and we were very happy with our choice. We've since left the country, but we still call that same office for advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1354" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T08:17:14.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2432" CreationDate="2011-07-31T08:18:25.333" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think in general terms they should be accepted.  It is part and parcel of a child's growing abilities in terms of social development; - of acquiring the ability to pretend, engage in role play and develop 'theory of mind.'  Many, many children, (including my own) have gone through this normal, healthy phase of development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the lady you mention, it is very tempting to look upon a correlation between two factors, (the pretend friend and her later problems) and attribute one as being a causative factor for the other.  I would suggest a third variable as the cause for her later problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see the creation of an imaginary friend by the child as a step forward in social development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-19T12:46:54.110" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T12:46:54.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2011-07-31T09:24:22.027" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you generally have a &quot;feeling&quot; when to do it, personally i dont think theres a rush and its a battle id put of for a while. my daughters just turned two, have been thinking of putting her in a bed but just gut instint telling me wait a few more months, but agree that if she starts trying to climb out, thats when i will put her in a bed for saftey, and i dont think that moving a child to a bed because you need the cot for the NEW baby is a good idea, either do it long before baby comes or they will resent it and may cause dramas over bed time. make it a special thing, nice duvet, teddys etc, and take time first night&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1355" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T09:24:22.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2444" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-31T11:27:25.990" Score="7" ViewCount="663" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost 15 months old and has always been a small eater. She was breastfed for the first 5 months then solids were gradually introduced. It went okay for the first few weeks but soon it was difficult to get her to eat the recommended amounts and types of foods she needs. Since she turned 1 year old, she has become more and more difficult: slowly but surely I can see a trend over the last 6 months where she decreases the quantities she eats as well as the types of foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her typical intake for a day:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;BF: 300ml of milk and a small handful of corn flakes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lunch: 200ml vegetables &amp;amp; fruit juice, 100g of yoghurt. Sometimes will nibble a bit of meat, sometimes will have just juice (not even yoghurt), refuses everything else (pasta, rice, vegetables, bread, etc.).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;PM snack: 100g fruits (puree or fresh), a couple of biscuits or small bowl of cereals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dinner: half a dozen teaspoons of pasta or rice, a little milk, a yoghurt. Sometimes (say twice a week at the moment) will have nothing at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is at 3% of her weight curve (always has been a small size). I don't mind she is a light-weight, she has a small body and that's ok. She is very active, in good health and generally happy. I am however concerned about long-term effects on her health given the limited food range she accepts and the fact she can go with very little food, and that this trend is worsening. I struggle to understand her behavior at the table and why she systematically refuses almost everything we put in front of her. We don't force her at all and are very patient, but we are not sure how we should deal with this as parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paediatricians have been unhelpful about this (just saying she should eat more and more varied...). She has a twin sister who is a little bigger than her (but not much) but who does eat well and pretty much of everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1356" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:25:42.687" Title="How should I deal with my toddler's difficult behavior towards food?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|food|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2445" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-07-31T17:23:25.620" Score="4" ViewCount="517" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has been potty-training for about a month or so, with pretty good results.  It started with a few days of wearing underwear instead of a diaper, and having accidents, since he didn't know how to go on the toilet, even though he was pretty good at holding it in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big breakthrough came when he learned how to go on the toilet, and since then he's been pretty good, with accidents now and then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the first things he learned was to &quot;stay dry&quot; &amp;mdash; in other words, no poop or pee in his pants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this has led to an interesting dilemma for him &amp;mdash; he thinks he can &quot;stay dry&quot; forever to avoid ever pooping or peeing.  Lately, he has been expressing just how much he hates pooping and peeing.  He will tell us he &quot;has wees&quot; and then run to the toilet, but when he gets there, he changes his mind and gets very upset - saying &quot;No wees! Stay dry!&quot; (He wants to try to stay dry and not ever do wees again.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do we teach him that staying dry is important, but that he &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; to go when he feels the urge and that's ok?&lt;/strong&gt;  This has led to a couple accidents, because he believes that he can stay dry, but then leaves it too long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He usually does tell us when he gets the first urge, but then when he changes his mind, we don't like having to fight to force him to sit on the toilet at that moment (though, when we have, once he is on the toilet he will go just fine - it's just the anxiety of expectations that seem to be getting to him).  I feel like a fight to sit on the toilet is a bad thing to associate with something he should be willing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="209" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-07-31T18:44:50.307" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T03:32:43.150" Title="How do we teach our toddler that it's okay to go on the potty?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2181" CreationDate="2011-07-31T18:42:21.273" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would it be possible for you to ride a small horse or large pony first? Then perhaps she could ride on the horse with you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the oldest of 7 children in a horse loving family, that is the pattern that we used to introduce the younger children to riding independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The security of riding with a trusted caregiver who enjoyed riding themselves gave even the youngest child the confidence they needed to experience the joys of horseback riding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T18:42:21.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2444" CreationDate="2011-07-31T18:42:43.787" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strike&gt;I can't contribute any specific tips, but&lt;/strike&gt; it sounds like your daughter's (non-)eating habits are already very ingrained. Especially since she's already at the low end of the weight chart, I would not rule out some sort of eating disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have ruled out allergies (as &lt;em&gt;caterpillar&lt;/em&gt; suggested) then I would suggest consulting with a second paediatrician, specifically for references to child dieticians. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T06:50:36.500" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T06:50:36.500" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2444" CreationDate="2011-07-31T19:39:02.707" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you say you give her fruit juice, be aware that most juice contains lots of sugar. In comparison, that makes most food very boring. Sugar also provides lots of energy, although it's not the best way to get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your juice choices contain sugar, you should consider switching to other fluids, like watered-down fruit teas, or just plain regular tap water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some vegetables have a natural sweet taste without containing sugars, like soft-boiled carrots, or yellow paprika, and some kinds of potato. If the sweetness is her driving factor, try gearing up on such foods. Try to serve it in many different ways, e.g. boiled/raw (except potatoes), diced/sliced/pureed, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T19:39:02.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2402" CreationDate="2011-07-31T21:20:05.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As mentioned by the other people, leave. While you are there, you are responsible for these children and anything that happens to them. You only have 4 weeks left, so there is little incentive for you to start a long-term correction of the child's behaviour, especially since you have no support form the parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether you stay or go, I would suggest filming (mobile phone camera) the child at its worst. Keep this up your sleeve since it may contravene privacy laws but it may come in handy if things get ugly - at least you'll have something to back you up when the parents claim the child is just being boisterous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T21:20:05.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2011-07-31T21:30:44.460" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you are looking for anecdotal answers here, here is mine.  We switched our son to a &quot;big boy bed&quot; (twin size) around 15 months.  Did it before he was really old enough to care (I think).  The mattress was on a box-spring, no frame.  We put a body pillow on the floor in case he decided to get off -- or rolled off.  The bed was in a whole different room.  So not only did he change beds, he changed rooms at the same time.  I think that helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make the transition, one night we just took him out from his crib while he was sleeping and just put him into the new bed.  We were there for him when he woke up in the morning in case he freaked out.  The next night we just put him in the bed (made sure he was tired, but not yet asleep).  He never put up a fight or anything.  He took to it right away.  By the time he felt &quot;ownership&quot; of a bed, he was already in the right bed.  To him, we never &quot;took away&quot; the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1358" LastEditorUserId="1358" LastEditDate="2014-04-03T16:18:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-04-03T16:18:12.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2445" CreationDate="2011-07-31T21:54:11.323" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I were in your situation, I would start having your son go to the bathroom at specific times throughout the day or before he gets something he wants. For example, before lunch, I would ask him to go to the bathroom and wash his hands, after which he would be allowed to eat. You could also have him do it before he gets to play with a toy or gets to play outside, etc. This will help diffuse the situation and reduce his anxiety towards using the bathroom by taking the focus off of the bathroom and more on something he wants (to eat, play, etc.). This typically works best if it is used consistently, always before a meal, always after nap, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn’t specifically teach him that it is okay to use the bathroom, but in the long run, the more he uses it, the more comfortable he will get with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="736" LastActivityDate="2011-07-31T21:54:11.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2452" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2465" CreationDate="2011-08-01T04:58:17.467" Score="12" ViewCount="18226" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 year old daughter eats very little. Infact she doesn't even drink bottled milk. Not to mention she hasn't gained much weight in the last couple of months. She mostly survives on mothers milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to introduce her to eating food. She might take a morsel or two. She also takes a sip or two of the fresh fruit juices but nothing more. We try diverting her attention to something and than feed her but it isn't working much and we feel she doesn't eat enough. What are the best ways to introduce a 1 year old to taking food ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1362" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-01T06:02:43.843" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T09:24:57.110" Title="How can I switch an exclusively breastfed 1-year-old to food?" Tags="|toddler|food|feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="991" CreationDate="2011-08-01T16:17:57.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Booster music:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This one's for yourself rather than for the baby. Some people benefit from playing sounds and music that trigger an effect in your brain-wave pattern. &lt;a href=&quot;http://torben.g-b.dk/pzizz&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pzizz&lt;/a&gt; is an example of that. If you need a 20-minute power nap, or need help falling deeply asleep, such music might work for you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This music is something I actually use, and despite appearances it really, honestly works! It works best if you're familiar with it already, so some &quot;training&quot; (conditioning, really) helps. Must be used with headphones, and in-ear headphones are better than old-school (&quot;walkman&quot;) on-ear headphones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T16:17:57.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2250" CreationDate="2011-08-01T18:29:28.610" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just randomly ran into the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000P007FI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Stairway Gate Installation Kit (K12) by KidCo&lt;/a&gt;, which appears to be exactly the solution to the problem for Kidco brand gates. It also appears to do no permanent damage to the stairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-01T18:29:28.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2455" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2473" CreationDate="2011-08-01T20:26:56.877" Score="0" ViewCount="444" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard about a method that uses the unstructured presentation of dots to teach younger kids numbers and basic arithmetic. Can anyone tell me the name of this method?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or if you know of other interesting, more intuitive approaches to this kind of learning, please share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1365" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T13:44:17.830" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T21:50:18.337" Title="Can anyone name this method for teaching children numbers and basic arithmetic? " Tags="|teaching|learning|math|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2455" CreationDate="2011-08-02T00:43:39.657" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you are referring to Touch Math. If so, here is a link with more info. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.touchmath.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=WYT.welcome&amp;amp;page=AboutTouchMath&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.touchmath.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=WYT.welcome&amp;amp;page=AboutTouchMath&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T00:43:39.657" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2452" CreationDate="2011-08-02T03:17:18.743" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are the best ways to introduce a 1 year old to taking food ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way is to start early and slowly.&#xA;My 5 months old daughter eats vegetable soup with powder milk everyday. She likes mineral water as well. From 3 months old we started to put a few spoons of vegetable soup in her milk to get her used to and see if there is some taste she likes better and now she can eat anything (liquid).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your 1 year old it's not the earliest time to start, especially since she can probably eat solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would start from the beginning:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Get her used to eat from the bottle. You can put pumped milk in the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Add some taste to it and see how she reacts. Add more if she doesn't complain. Carrot is a good vegetable to start. (Cut in small cubes, cook to make it soft, put in the mixer with some water until you get a carrot juice with no pieces)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Alternate with other vegetables. (avoid vegetables with a strong taste like cabbage, and put as little potatoes as possible. Don't use mushrooms)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Occasionally let her try some solid with a spoon&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It needs to be progressive and you will probably need to find some stratagems:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say she accepts only breastfeeding. Try to let her mother breastfeed and alternate with the bottle every 1 or 2 minutes, discreetly. (everyday, progressively without forcing her) The mother needs to give her the bottle at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eliminate all source of stress during feeding time. No big noise, no angry parents, no impatience...etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also teach her how to hold the bottle and put it in the mouth (if she doesn't know already) tell her she's a big girl and she can eat alone like dad and mom. Maybe show her how good it is and drink from it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's not going to take the habit the first few days, so no impatience, no worries or stress. Just let her know there's the bottle during feeding times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastEditorDisplayName="user896" LastEditDate="2011-08-02T06:42:49.020" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T06:42:49.020" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="345" CreationDate="2011-08-02T06:18:32.980" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sailing fits the bill, once your children are all water confident.  There are a range of boats available to allow a large family like yours to divide into many different &quot;teams&quot;, with each person always having something to do without just being a passenger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Matt&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1370" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T06:18:32.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="976" CreationDate="2011-08-02T12:21:00.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's understandable that children would want to sleep in close physical proximity to a parent.  If it's disruptive to your sleep, then put them on the floor next to your bed.  The floor is more comforable for a child than an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1372" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T12:21:00.047" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2011-08-02T18:31:47.360" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will add that I always used local anesthetics for dental work.. even getting teeth pulled.&#xA;As long as you have a dentist you trust, there is little to worry about. I was never in much discomfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting braces done is much more painful...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1373" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-28T10:27:17.697" LastActivityDate="2016-03-28T10:27:17.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2462" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2471" CreationDate="2011-08-02T18:38:52.603" Score="4" ViewCount="59351" Body="&lt;p&gt;I accidentally tugged on the umbilical stump of my newborn baby while changing his diaper, and now he's crying and it's bleeding a little. Have I hurt my baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I'm adding this question (and an answer) because I think it's a good fact to know. It would be cool if others can add more information.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-03T08:04:54.617" LastActivityDate="2018-09-01T05:53:20.277" Title="Can a newborn feel pain in the umbilical stump?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2462" CreationDate="2011-08-02T19:45:15.453" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The baby isn't hurt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The umbilical stump doesn't have any nerves, so the baby cannot feel pain there. The baby might have been crying by coincidence, or because it sensed the parent's anxiety. &lt;em&gt;(Source: our midwife)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the bleeding is just a tiny amount, let it be or carefully wipe it away. If it's more, carefully clean it up with clean water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stump usually falls off by itself within a week or two the most, so you may have inadvertently helped it a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-03T09:31:18.960" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T09:31:18.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1570" CreationDate="2011-08-02T21:34:13.697" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What we did successfully with my kids from 4 (from 3 with the youngest) was to let them know that they could spend their weekly allowance (at that age 20 pence) and earned pocket money on something 20p or less, or save it to get something bigger that they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our youngest is now 5 and she is perfectly capable of saving her 50p a week for a few months to get something more expensive, and the eldest, now 10 has managed to save £60 to hire quad bikes, segways and karts for a weekend sporting event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They earn more for chores, such as helping me clean the car or tidying their rooms - and they have learned the value of money. If they want something bigger they can carry out more chores, trade with their siblings or save for longer. A valuable life lesson!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-08-02T21:34:13.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2452" CreationDate="2011-08-03T00:12:37.317" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children need frequent and pleasant contact with a food to begin to eat it. Have her sit with you at the table for meals. Place foods before her with utensils and encourage her to play with the food. The goal at first is for the contact to be frequent AND  pleasant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help her be creative in her play by modeling fun food play with her on your plate as you eat. This is a great opportunity for her to develop fine motor skills while she explores food textures and has great fun. Tapping and stirring with the spoon, pouring puree from one container to another, stacking food, and making figures or picture from various food items are all fun activities. Model &quot;kissing&quot; the spoon, food and cup playfully and playing &quot;copy cat&quot; with you eating one then she eats one. Also, have her help &quot;clean up&quot; by throwing the food into a trash can or even on your plate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid asking her to eat the food but rather focus on the play. In this environment, she is likely to look forward to mealtimes and &quot;discover&quot; the joy of eating. Also, limiting breast feeding to after the mealtime fun will also create a sense of hunger that is important for eating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not try to transition her to the bottle but move directly to the cup. This is more age appropriate and will develop oral motor skills that cannot be attained from the bottle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This strategy will provide a bonding/play time around pleasant food experiences, provide sensory experiences promoting sensory development, promote fine motor skills, condition to the mealtime schedule, develops oral motor and social turn taking skills as well as creating a desire for contact with food rather than rejection of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be consistent and creative and be sure to have fun yourself! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a link that may be helpful in deciding a sequence and rational for food choices.   &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-08-03T01:08:06.327" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T01:08:06.327" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2444" CreationDate="2011-08-03T01:52:47.940" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Liquids can be filling and reduce food intake. Guidelines for liquids for toddlers include no more than 4-6 oz. of juice and 2-3 cups of milk daily for preschoolers. Pudding, cheese, yogurt and other milk products would be counted as part of the daily milk allowance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child's stomach is the size of their fists, so only a small amount satisfies their hunger.  Therefore, they need frequent food offerings. Three meals and 2 snacks are recommended daily. They can also become overwhelmed with too much food. I've found that the use of muffin tins or ice trays with just a few food items in each compartment is a novel and interesting presentation for some. I've even used halves of plastic Easter eggs as food containers to increase interest. These containers also keep food from touching which is appealing to some youngsters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Structure and opportunity is important. Having the child participate in mealtimes with the family will increase their exposure to food. Children learn much from imitation and you are their most valued role model.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage your child to play with food. I offered some ideas for making food fun at this question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/2452/1320&quot;&gt;How can I switch an exclusively breastfed 1-year-old to food?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers are known for picky eating and this stage takes lots of patience and persistence. Fortunately, this too will pass with time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T01:52:47.940" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1953" CreationDate="2011-08-03T02:07:41.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found this site very helpful in matching a child's motor skills to their readiness for various food consistencies.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T02:07:41.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2468" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-03T04:00:36.280" Score="8" ViewCount="1408" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is quite often totally oblivious to what's around him. For example: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;jumping up and down under a table&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;all of a sudden spinning around with his arms out and smacking the people walking next to or behind him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stopping in the middle of a hallway to pick something up causing the people behind him to trip over him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I'm sure many of you will say &quot;that's normal&quot;. Yes, I agree, to some extent it is. However his mother is also often totally oblivious of her surroundings as well... as I have noticed are her parents on occasion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fear of this being genetic, I'd like to come up with some games to help him work on that skill, much in the same way marco-polo helps folks with directional hearing, or chess helps with predictive analysis, or guessing games with deductive logic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Anyone have any idea of games that might help with this?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently looking at the toddler age, but also thinking forward to the pre-schooler age as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-08T21:56:20.613" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T21:56:20.613" Title="Are there any games or activities to help a child increase their spatial awareness?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2432" CreationDate="2011-08-03T07:34:36.633" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's difficult to answer this question. Sometimes, childreen have imaginary friends because they don't have friends, the don't feel understood for the other children in their class, and they search a friend to share their thoughts and he/she feels understood for that special friend. I think that parent would have to see if there is one of this reasons for their son/daughter looking for an imaginary friend. On the other hand, this wouldn't be confound with the fact that childreen initially speaks aloud standing alone, whereas playing. This is a very normal process before they adquire intern language, a very important process. &#xA;In summary, the more important thing we would take into account is the reason and not the fact itself.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1376" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T07:34:36.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2468" CreationDate="2011-08-03T11:52:22.267" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what the issue might be, and with the desription it'd hard to really say (though I know what you mean about people just stopping in front of you without warning) but I'd never consider this a skill you can work out.  Although if you are trying to get your child more used to things with his surroundings, some ideas of things you can do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ball toss, with multiple people, where you move a ball back and forth.  Chane directions or randomly move the ball among people, better with 3 or more and you can roll the ball with toddlers or toss it with older children.  You could do this with a soccer ball, football or baseball with kids of various ages, soccer ball obstacle courses are a good option&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Obstacle courses, probably the best thing with what you may think of, most children's playground have lots of structures and you can make a path through it with your kids.  My older one loves doing this on occasion&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Indoor obstacle course, under furniture or over pillows or things, similar to doing it outside but with indoor objects&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Simon Says, but think about doing actions that make the participants think about who is next to them, such &quot;get an arms length away from the person next to you&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do exercises where you need to keep a certain distance away to start, so they get an idea that they need space to work out, may be a long term thing.  I do things like this with my boys knowing they DO NOT understand the objective at first, but somehow internalize it and later on seem to understand instinctively&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck with it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T11:52:22.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2462" CreationDate="2011-08-03T17:05:32.607" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might have hurt him a little, but not permanently.  Your hair and nails are also dead tissue, but it still hurts if someone yanks on them, because of what they're attached to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any rate, I wouldn't worry about it too much.  Parents occasionally do things that hurt their children, either accidentally or intentionally but unavoidably, like medical procedures.  It's best to think about how you might avoid it in the future, but then forgive yourself and move on.  Your baby certainly has already forgotten and moved on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T17:05:32.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2468" CreationDate="2011-08-03T18:52:53.927" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's my take on spacial awareness, body awareness, kinesthetic awareness, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wordnik.com/words/proprioception&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;proprioception&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Train the body with activities like gymnastics or rough and tumble play.&#xA;Train awareness of the body by talking about these activities and consider breathing meditation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some games:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spinning and falling down. Over and over again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Standing and falling backwards onto a mattress. Over and over again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Building with blocks (so as not to be knocked down).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Building forts that can be played in. Children prefer to be inside smaller places.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Blindfold games such as walk to the kitchen blindfolded or pin the tail on the donkey.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Throwing objects at a target: rocks, balls, or spears.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Catch (can add a moving target to the above)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bouncing on a mattress or trampoline, diving into water.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of these are common childhood games in many cultures. They naturally work to better connect the spacial awareness functions of our brains with the body control functions of our brain. And they have positive feedback loops in that the more body control you achieve the more fun the games become.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also here's a great article, '&lt;a href=&quot;http://movingsmartblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/learning-to-sense-space-why-kids-may.html?spref=tw&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;LEARNING TO &quot;SENSE&quot; SPACE: Why Kids May Fall Out of Bed&lt;/a&gt;' that addresses body awareness. (Found via &lt;a href=&quot;http://twitter.com/#!/MovingSmartNow&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Gill Connell&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T18:52:53.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2455" CreationDate="2011-08-03T21:50:18.337" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you mean Glenn Doman's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childandme.com/how-teach-your-child-math-glenn-domans-dot-method/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dot Method&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-08-03T21:50:18.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2474" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-04T09:15:50.580" Score="3" ViewCount="552" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering about the impact of moving homes on my daughter who is only 2 and a half.&#xA;My wife claims that it is better to stay in one place because of stability for our daughter. &#xA;But I think that she is too young to even care so much. As long as she has her toys she is happy!&#xA;My parents moved house when I was about 2 years old and I can't even remember the original house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I want to know if the move (which is within the same city) is going to impact on our daughter. I'm looking for specific research that backs your position, not just opinions, but am not sure where to look personally for this information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1379" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-04T09:28:13.653" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T12:30:55.760" Title="Does moving have a negative impact on young children?" Tags="|toddler|moving|separation|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1766" CreationDate="2011-08-04T09:44:57.167" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I cannot offer research-based hard facts, but I can offer you my personal experience: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've moved 16 times in my life, between 5 countries, at varying ages. (My father was a valued specialist at the time.) My bullet #2 would be most appropriate to you, but I'll list other ages for reference. In summary, &lt;strong&gt;I would recommend that you move sooner rather than later.&lt;/strong&gt; Avoid moving kids at ages 5-15 when possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Infant: No negative impact.&lt;/strong&gt; My first move was local (10km), under age 1. I have no recollection whatsoever.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Toddler: No negative impact.&lt;/strong&gt; My second move was international, at age 3. I remember the old house and its surroundings surprisingly well, but I have no recollection of missing the place or any people there. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pre-schooler: Slight negative impact.&lt;/strong&gt; My third move was international, at age 6. I had made some friends and just started school. Moving away caused some sadness, but the new place made up for it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Primary-schooler: Significant negative impact.&lt;/strong&gt; My fourth move was international, at age 10. This is the worst time to move, in my opinion. Children at this age are developing their self-image and are very dependent on their surroundings. This move caused the biggest disruption and was not a smart thing to do, from my perspective then. The biggest problem was (not) being well received at the destination; children at that age can be very mean toward newcomers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Later: Significant negative impact.&lt;/strong&gt; My fifth move was regional (100km), at age 15. I think that at this age, children have learned &quot;who they are&quot; and they're better able to cope with moving. They're also able to keep longer-distance friendships alive without frequent meetings, if they're important to them. &lt;strong&gt;Note:&lt;/strong&gt; I didn't say it becomes easier! It doesn't. But older kids are more capable to handle the difficulties.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-04T12:30:55.760" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T12:30:55.760" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2011-08-04T14:40:37.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember reading when the vaccine for chicken pox first came out, that there were worries that it might lead to Shingles later in life. Real chicken pox is proven to be a cause of Shingles later in life. So until someone proves the vaccine can definitely cause Shingles, I'd go with it and the maybe rather than the real disease and the proven possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've known two of my uncles to get Shingles in their 40's and it was not pleasant for them at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also need to consider the option of neither pox nor vaccine option. If you don't get the vaccine and don't go to a party, your what are the chances that the kid will go through life with no disease and have zero risk of Shingles in later life versus the risk of getting chicken pox in later life, which is much more serious than chicken pox as a child. Perhaps someone might comment on that scenario.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1384" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T14:40:37.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2477" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2478" CreationDate="2011-08-04T14:58:35.343" Score="5" ViewCount="432" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sure every parent has days like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child has been a troublemaker all day. You are exhausted, and at your wits' end. It would be nice to just take a break, to have someone else take over for an hour - or a day. But you're alone and the partner is at work for another &amp;quot;X&amp;quot; hours. The weather is bad; you can't go to the playground or zoo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You feel like screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would you do to keep sane? Let's hear some ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&amp;quot;Taking a break&amp;quot; is what I'd do too, but sometimes it's not easy. My reference situation is a toddler -- too young to be &amp;quot;parked&amp;quot; in front of a TV, and too old to be placed in a crib. Lock him in his room? Doesn't feel right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T13:28:20.340" Title="How can a parent remain sane? How do you keep your energy and temper?" Tags="|behavior|working-parents|coping|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2011-08-05T03:05:06.247" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2477" CreationDate="2011-08-04T15:18:28.337" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take a break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter must not have been more than a few months old when I just needed a break. I put her in her crib (&quot;somewhere safe&quot;) and took a 30 minute shower. She cried. A lot. But I needed the break. It would've been worse for us had I not taken the break. Quite frankly, I don't think she cares or remembers anymore (she is 1!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then, anytime I need a break and I can't find anyone else to take her for a little while - she just goes in her crib or playpen with a couple of her toys (if the weather is bad). It's easier when the weather is nicer - in the stroller and we go for a walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am as much of a human as she is, and I need a break too. If I can't take care of myself, I sure as heck can't take care of her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T15:18:28.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2477" CreationDate="2011-08-04T15:24:42.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously.  Sometimes, when things feel like they're going to spiral out of control, the best thing to do is get the kids cordoned off someplace reasonably safe, then go somewhere else (in the house or yard) and take a few minutes to calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tossing a movie on to the TV and giving the kids a large bowl of popcorn can give you just enough time to compose yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is an infant, sometimes all you can do is put him or her down in their crib with some toys and go into another room.  Yeah, they'll probably cry and scream, but they were doing that anyway and so were you.  Turn on some music, close the doors, and decompress.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not going to do your kids any favors by escalating things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="95" LastEditDate="2011-08-04T20:25:06.453" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T20:25:06.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2477" CreationDate="2011-08-04T19:06:51.480" Score="5" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get out of the house. Put raincover on a stroller and just walk around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to library - this is the best. In US they often have a space for kids with toys and baby books.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the mall.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;IKEA (if you have one around) might have a playspace for small kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the indoor playground.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is got to be a toy which will keep him busy for a while, for my son it was Thomas the Train Engine simple set. Activity table kept him busy for some time as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get out a new toy. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a schedule - this way instead of one long day you have a series of short periods of time that is easier to survive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep the nap as long as possible - it is a life saver. The days when my son napped were much easier then the ones he did not. Even if he does not nap try to put him in a crib for some time on schedule.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: also, if possible, give mom a way to get out of the house to the gym or another place of her choosing on her own regularly: ask family member to babysit, hire a babysitter for several hours or stay with child by yourself on weekend. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorUserId="574" LastEditDate="2011-08-05T13:28:20.340" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T13:28:20.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2011-08-04T19:20:28.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is your wife eating enough calories to make milk?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is normal behavior of a newborn. She is just prepping Mommy's body for milk. My baby (now 3.5 mos) used to feed for 1.5 hours when she was under a month old! We had latch issues and called a consultant who classified her as a high-needs baby. She likes to be held a lot. By Day 15, everything got easier. I really think a hormonal thing occurred with me because that day felt so amazing. My &quot;blues&quot; disappeared and my appetite came back. I think MY issue was that I wasn't eating enough to make milk and my daughter was always hungry as a result. Pre-pregnancy I ate 3 meals a day, snacked 2x. After labor, I ate 2 meals a day. So you might want to check that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Breastfeeding is a Lifestyle Choice&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We exclusively breastfeed our baby. It's &lt;em&gt;REALLY&lt;/em&gt; easy to quit those first 2 weeks. If my husband relaxed about it even just a little, I think we wouldn't be doing it anymore. When I'd complain, he'd just listen and tell me that I'm doing a great job. He wouldn't hint at letting me off the hook. It was such a frustrating time. I've gotten used to it now. They say you shouldn't bottle feed for fear of &quot;nipple confusion&quot; before 6 weeks old. We've bottle-fed our babe 6-7 times before a month old and she never got confused. If your wife breastfeeds a majority of the time, the baby will not get confused. Keep supporting your wife and let her know that you are there to help. You can also feed the baby breastmilk via dropper or spoon feed to give your wife a break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Babywise Method by Gary Ezzo for scheduled feedings and sleeping&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have not tried this personally because I had bought enough baby books that I never ended up reading :) So baby and I are attached to the teet but I digress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine and his wife had much success with this method. It's a flexible schedule for feeding and eating. There is a lot of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rickross.com/reference/gfi/gfi5.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;criticism&lt;/a&gt; out there for it but make your own opinion and see if it fits your lifestyle. So long as baby has enough poopy and wet diapers, she is getting enough nutrients.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that the younger they are, the smaller their stomachs are so they get full and hungry faster. &lt;em&gt;Good luck!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T19:20:28.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2477" CreationDate="2011-08-04T19:49:36.400" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why is your baby crying?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After eliminating all the basic needs: food, sleep, hygiene, wants stimulation, consider to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Wear your baby&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a &quot;high-needs&quot; baby (only 3.5 months old) that must be carried. She used to sleep on her swing but not anymore. Consider baby-wearing (slings, baby carriers) and go about your day. The motion and your body heat might put them to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nap-time with Baby&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adults can benefit from a catnap as well. When my baby is due for a nap and is absolutely resisting, I lay down and cuddle with her. We both take a nap. If your baby is mobile, consider safety: sleep on the floor in a properly baby-proofed room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all else fails, this always works for us (for now, anyway), &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give Baby a relaxing bath&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming, of course, that your baby enjoys a bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T19:49:36.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2445" CreationDate="2011-08-04T20:03:00.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm assuming your son is sitting for now for peeing. I'd suggest having him sit on Daddy's lap while Daddy &quot;wees&quot;. This modeling of behavior will show your son that it's OK to &quot;wee&quot; on the potty. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you have an older boy (5-8 yrs old) or nephew that can help demonstrate, little kids look up to older kids&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try running water to help him get the urge back when he's sitting on the toilet and not getting results&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T20:03:00.663" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2477" CreationDate="2011-08-04T20:15:38.300" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try taking the child into a new situation - if you're inside the house try taking them outside for a few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try a different play activity.  Maybe try some messy play, like baked-bean painting or rice pudding squidging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try giving the child something where they're allowed to be &quot;naughty&quot;, like ripping up paper (maybe for papier mache) or kicking cardboard boxes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are all short activities which aim to distract and then occupy the child for a little while, allowing you to get a breather.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT to add more:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take every opportunity to get other people to help out.  Take a friend and a book to a local playground; visit a toddler group and ask someone to look after your child for a few minutes; find a trustworthy babysitter who can do an hour or so during day times, consider putting your child into a nursery for a couple of afternoons a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children just need a lot of activity and attention.  This is exhausting!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT again:  About bad weather - children sometimes love it.  Splashing in puddles, playing with wet grass, wet leaves, and so on.  Obviously you wrap up, and make sure there's a change of clothes, and some nice time afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2011-08-05T10:07:54.330" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T10:07:54.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2406" CreationDate="2011-08-04T20:42:26.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not medical advice, I am not a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children from 6 months to 5 years might need a supplement of vitamins A, C, and D.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Vitamins.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Vitamins.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vitamin D helps with calcium absorption.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a document that gives recommended daily amounts for calcium (in different age ranges) and then gives a list of calcium rich foods.  This may be preferable to giving a supplement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.royalsurrey.nhs.uk/adx/aspx/adxGetMedia.aspx?DocID=1233,1139,5,1,Documents&amp;amp;MediaID=706931a4-3611-4e03-85bb-f1d0f9efdb9e&amp;amp;Filename=Calcium+for+Infants+and+Children+09101331_066w.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.royalsurrey.nhs.uk/adx/aspx/adxGetMedia.aspx?DocID=1233,1139,5,1,Documents&amp;amp;MediaID=706931a4-3611-4e03-85bb-f1d0f9efdb9e&amp;amp;Filename=Calcium+for+Infants+and+Children+09101331_066w.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 9 months he's not a late teether yet!  I think that after 13 months he'll become a late teether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T20:42:26.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2477" CreationDate="2011-08-04T21:56:56.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;you got already some very good answers (like e. g. (a) taking a short time out by just leaving the room and leaving the child alone - under safe circumstances! or (b) &quot;now to something completely different&quot;: change the situation with another toy, going outside together, or whatever).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;One more thought:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, if you fell like screaming, maybe you should just ....&lt;strong&gt;scream&lt;/strong&gt;. &#xA;However, if the child is too young to understand and could get scared, this might be a bad idea.... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Alternative&lt;/strong&gt;: some violence against innocent objects, like hitting the sofa or a soft pillow with your fist to &quot;decharge&quot; a bit. Maybe you could do that without the child (staying in his room for a short wile) seeing that.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;On the other hand, this might be a change to show your child(ren) that it is better to find a way to let off steam which does not harm any person around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T21:56:56.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2477" CreationDate="2011-08-04T22:51:17.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need some friends, or at least some other families with kids your own age, with whom you can do some tag teaming. When this kind of day happens, you can call them and ask to visit, or ask them to visit, or setup a &quot;play date.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I had a vocal, energetic, willful toddler. We found a group of families with kids around the same age at our church through the child care program for mass.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;My 19-year-old daughter's best friend is a kid she met in that circle when she was two.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get out of the house, go to local playgrounds and parks, the local YMCA, the neighborhood pool, etc.  When your child starts playing with another child, find the parent, give your phone number, get theirs, and ask about a play date another day.  Then call in a couple of days and follow through. In a few weeks you will have three or four friendships in the making, and some folks you can turn to for help when your day goes sideways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-04T22:51:17.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1886" CreationDate="2011-08-05T01:02:33.257" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is research that I found on this topic at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12115294&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12115294&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It appears that the relationship between fetal movement and neonatal behavior is inconsistent. Fetal activity did appear to predict temperament related to self regulatory behaviors in early childhood. Small positive associations were detected between motor behavior at 36 weeks gestation and neonatal irritability and motor development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, no it does not appear that fetal activity is a good predictor of personality even though there may be some statistical association. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T01:02:33.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2433" CreationDate="2011-08-05T03:55:52.163" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, I would not treat them the same. If you give him a few minutes to try to re-settle himself, it gives him the opportunity to learn how to fall back asleep on his own. When he gets bigger you'll really appreciate him being able to re-settle himself and not waking you up between every sleep cycle. If he continues to fuss and does not resettle (say 5-10 minutes later), by all means go tend to him and help soothe him or feed him or whatever he needs to get back to sleep. My rule of thumb is to leisurely go to the kitchen and get yourself a glass of water, then go to the bathroom, then go check on him again, if he's still fussing, THEN assist him. If he's really hungry, usually the fussing will escalate into a &quot;calling you&quot; type of cry, which you may feel free to quickly attend to if you experience that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T03:55:52.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2452" CreationDate="2011-08-05T04:08:55.850" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't say I have all the answers since our 13 month old is kind of fickle when it comes to food. But I have noticed that if I try feeding him throughout the day at different times of day, certain times he's more hungry and interested in solid foods than other times. Mid-afternoon seems to be a good time in particular, and before bed is another often good one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, pay attention to cues that may signal an interest in eating at that time, for example if I catch my son gnawing on a board book I take him into the kitchen and give him crunchy food to chew on instead, and usually he seems willing to eat then. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Experiment with offering different textures and items. Whole fresh fruit is a very different experience than eating purees. Likewise, milk at warm or cold temperatures, with fruit or vanilla mixed in if needed, in a cup or bottle. Try crunchy soft foods like puffs or cheerios. Try babyfoods with oatmeal or squash mixed in (those were our son's favorites/most likely to succeed flavors) Don't try any of these with huge quantities because it will take many tries before the baby is likely to finish anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if your baby likes to pick things out, leave the food out where she can help herself when she's in the mood...or even just take her to the fridge and ask her &quot;do you want blueberries? do you want juice? etc.&quot; and see if she gets all excited about anything in particular. It is better to try then when they do not already have a full tummy from nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See if you can delay nursing a few minutes, by offering solid food first when she asks to nurse. Maybe she'll eat some? You never know until you try. And it may take more than one try before she'll eat solids, but being hungry definitely helps their appetite and willingness to try! After she eats (or doesn't eat) her solid foods, then offer the breastmilk as usual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and it definitely helps to offer foods that the baby sees mommy eating and enjoying rather than special &quot;baby&quot; foods!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just keep trying! Babies appetites can be finicky. One week they're all excited about food, and another they're not. It takes a bit of persistence to find success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T04:08:55.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2445" CreationDate="2011-08-05T06:36:30.270" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check your library for a kids book by the name &quot;Everyone Poops&quot;. (That's the english translation of the title, originally 『みんなうんち』 (Minna Unchi) in Japanese.) It's a great read and seems to really help kids wrap their mind around the concept that while dealing with wastes is gross, everyone does it, it's normal and a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T06:36:30.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2494" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2495" CreationDate="2011-08-05T07:02:27.760" Score="12" ViewCount="126078" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13 month daughter has no interest in standing or even putting weight on her feet. We're concerned if she doesn't start trying to stand she won't start walking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I can do to encourage her to stand and strengthen her legs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="129" LastEditorUserId="129" LastEditDate="2011-08-07T09:00:42.810" LastActivityDate="2018-03-24T11:15:04.930" Title="How can I encourage my 13 month old to stand?" Tags="|infant|standing|walking|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2011-08-05T07:20:03.810" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put some toys on a sofa and maybe she will try to reach them from the floor, encouraging her to pull herself up. Or try to teach her to get off sofa or bed feet first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I wouldn't worry about her not trying to stand up yet. Every kid has their own pace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1389" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T07:20:03.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2011-08-05T07:48:43.903" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is perhaps just not ready to stand yet.  children develop at different rates, for instance I did not walk until I was 18 months old.  It takes longer in some children for the neural structures which control balance and coordination to develop.  I presume she is sitting and crawling?  If so, it is probably just a matter of time and waiting for development to proceed.  If she is not sitting and crawling then you might want to arrange for her to see a developmental therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T07:48:43.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2444" CreationDate="2011-08-05T10:25:36.003" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK parents are recommended to avoid fruit juices, or heavily dilute them to 1 part juice to 10 parts water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Marie Hendrix, especially with the parts about playing with food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can use food outside of meal and snack times as a plaything.  This allows your child to get used to different smells and textures.  Cooked (cooled!) pasta, baked beans, cooked cooled rice, etc, all make fun messy playthings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you let your child explore and play with different foods at the table.  Maybe there's no interest today, but if you keep offering small amounts there might be in a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Annabel Karmel has some useful information and some good books.  Some of the information is not supported by evidence, but most of it is good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T10:25:36.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="58" CreationDate="2011-08-05T10:48:01.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The UK National Health Service has something called &quot;From Birth to 5&quot; (also called 'the green book') which is available to all parents.  This covers a wide range of evidence-based advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Vitamins.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Vitamins.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Growing children, especially those not eating a varied diet, sometimes don't get enough vitamin A and C. It's also difficult to get enough vitamin D through food alone.&#xA;  Therefore, the Department of Health recommends that all children from six months to five years old are given supplements containing vitamins A, C and D, in the form of vitamin drops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a list of food to avoid, and why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Foodstoavoid.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Foodstoavoid.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(The advice about honey and infant botulism has since changed, but it's still a sugar and risky for teeth.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's their lists about first weaning, weaning the next steps, and first foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Weaningfirststeps.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Weaningfirststeps.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Solidsthenextsteps.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Solidsthenextsteps.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Firstfoods.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Firstfoods.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might seem that the advice is always changing, but some of that is practitioners who are not keeping up to date with modern advice; some of it is genuine debate about best practice; and some of it is changed advice because there's new research.  For example, the reason not to introduce foods (especially gluten) before six months is to do with development of the villi in the intestines and the risk of allergy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T10:48:01.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2011-08-05T16:02:42.327" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might want to try a push-along walking toy or an activity table.  Standing to play with water or sand will encourage her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid any sit-in-walkers because there have been problems with them.  Young children are at risk of achilles tendon damage; all children are at greater risk of accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/english/safety-prevention/at-home/Pages/Baby-Walkers-A-Dangerous-Choice.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.healthychildren.org/english/safety-prevention/at-home/Pages/Baby-Walkers-A-Dangerous-Choice.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-05T21:23:56.440" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T21:23:56.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2500" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2502" CreationDate="2011-08-05T16:22:14.167" Score="20" ViewCount="2308" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children, especially young children, are creatures of opportunity.  They see a lesser prize within their grasp and a much greater prize that they may have to work for, and they will take the lesser prize much more often than not.  The ability to defer or delay gratification was studied in the Stanford Marshmallow experiment, and in numerous copies since then, and has been linked with academic competency and professional success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a daughter in the early years of elementary school.  She has a tendency to want rewards now, rather than later.  To help her develop self control, we have been offering her choices with small rewards (that we normally would have given her as a matter of course) or for a little patience (sometimes work) a much better reward (i.e. 10 more minutes of TV now, or if she brushes her teeth and gets ready for bed of her own accord, 30 minutes afterward).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has produced somewhat marginal results.  Mostly she takes the easy reward.  I want her to be successful, and I &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt; want her to be the sort of person who impulse buys her way into debt, or drops out of college to pursue a moderately paying (but non-professional) job.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I instill in her the will-power to work for and be patient for the rewards that come with waiting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1392" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-06T13:54:20.320" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T14:58:19.623" Title="In what ways can you help a child develop self-control and delayed or deferred gratification?" Tags="|teaching|development|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2402" CreationDate="2011-08-05T17:38:22.637" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most concerning thing about your question is the comment, he &quot;has taken a kitchen knife and tried to kill me and his brother.&quot;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are speaking literally this child needs a professional intervention. The consensus is for you to get out of this situation for your safety.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do everything you can (outside of staying) to help the family transition to another care giver. Hopefully, for the children's safety, the family can find someone capable of helping the older son, such as a councilor or therapist. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next time such a situation exists, one child tries to kill you or another child, you must call the parents and child protective services immediately to intervene.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a real likelihood that the violent older child is being abused (possibly sexually) by someone the family knows or a family member. Information from the National Center for the Victims of Crime &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.victimsofcrime.org/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="3007" LastEditDate="2012-09-28T14:12:09.167" LastActivityDate="2012-09-28T14:12:09.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2500" CreationDate="2011-08-05T18:45:43.750" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure this answers you question, but I'll do my best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BabyCenter's developmental psychologist had &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-child-develop-self-control_71051.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this to say&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When evaluating your child's level of self-control, take her temperament into account. This is an age where there may be a wide range of individual differences; some children are naturally more impulsive and less reflective than others. More impetuous children may need extra guidance and reminders, especially in exciting or distracting situations. Similarly, more reflective children may appear more self-controlled, when in fact, they're just more reserved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children having difficulty with self-control can benefit from more structured situations and adult coaching. This ability develops with maturity and practice, so although you may be tempted to reprimand your child when she can't control herself, bear in mind that punishment isn't effective in this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-child-develop-self-control_71593.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;also added&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School-age children show high levels of self-control compared to their younger counterparts. At this age, they can understand the reasoning behind rules so they're more willing and able to conform to parents' and teachers' expectations. They also have a strong sense of fairness, so appealing to what is fair can often overcome their own self-interests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, finally, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-child-develop-self-control_70305.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;she points out&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Preschoolers work very hard developing self-control and make great strides during these years. They're capable of delaying gratification for short periods of time and when they're not overwhelmed by emotion, they can use words instead of actions to express their feelings and desires.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Demonstrating self-control is quite challenging at this age; kids are still practicing their skills and need a great deal of guidance (and patience) from adults. Providing your child with strategies and giving him reminders is more effective than punishing him for mistakes. Explaining to your son why he can't have a toy he sees in a store, reminding him of the toys he already has at home, and suggesting that he put the toy on his &amp;quot;wish list&amp;quot; are all effective ways of helping him control his strong feelings. Simply saying &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; or threatening punishment if he protests will not give him the mental strategies to cope with the situation. Likewise, teaching your son to use words to ask another child for a toy or a turn on a ride is more effective than just telling him not to grab. Because young children learn through repetition, you may need to remind your son many times before he can control his impulses on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also consistently cautions that extreme states -- fatigue, hunger, emotional moments -- are often when children have the most trouble maintaining their self control. In my humble opinion, that's not a characteristic limited to children; I get antsy and upset easily when &lt;em&gt;I'm&lt;/em&gt; hungry as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_toddler-milestone-self-control_11779.bc?showAll=true&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this larger question&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T18:45:43.750" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2503" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2506" CreationDate="2011-08-05T19:27:30.973" Score="13" ViewCount="91561" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever my toddler gets very upset or throws a fit, he has a tendency to rake his fingernails very hard across his face, often drawing blood. Currently one side of his face is covered with scratches and scabs from this behavior. How can we encourage him to stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first, most obvious idea is to simply trim his nails very short, but I'm worried that might just displace his frustration and cause him to start pulling out hair or something similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;: Two years after I originally asked this question, our child was formally diagnosed with autism. I add this here because it seems like an important point for people to keep in mind. An extreme inability to deal with ordinary stresses, including self-harming behaviors, may be an indicator of problems beyond simple toddler obstinacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="566" LastEditorUserId="566" LastEditDate="2015-11-06T18:56:09.653" LastActivityDate="2018-10-15T06:18:42.993" Title="How can I keep my toddler from scratching himself when he is upset?" Tags="|toddler|tantrums|autism|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2402" CreationDate="2011-08-05T19:42:45.827" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a professional and moral obligation to report your concerns to the relevant authorities.  (Certainly in the UK; I imagine it's the case in other countries too.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a UK link:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncma.org.uk/news_and_events/news/january_to_june_2011/lscb_guidance_from_ncma.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.ncma.org.uk/news_and_events/news/january_to_june_2011/lscb_guidance_from_ncma.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a Canadian link:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.oacas.org/childwelfare/duty.htm&quot;&gt;http://www.oacas.org/childwelfare/duty.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By not reporting your concerns you may be leaving yourself open to serious consequences. (But I am not a lawyer!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T19:42:45.827" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2503" CreationDate="2011-08-05T21:21:46.037" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, trimming his nails &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a good solution, and what I'd have recommended.&#xA;If your child's nails are long enough to draw blood, then they need to be shortened. Even if it means trimming them twice a week.  - This is a must.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'd rather stop the obviously damaging behaviour at the risk of whatever might take its place, than continue to tolerate the damaging behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the tantrums themselves, there are a number of good suggestions about that on the site. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/tantrums&quot;&gt;Do a search for [tantrums]&lt;/a&gt;, and perhaps &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2417/how-can-we-discipline-our-toddler/2425#2425&quot;&gt;Marie's answer here&lt;/a&gt; would also inspire you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-08-05T21:21:46.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2503" CreationDate="2011-08-06T00:10:24.733" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have worked with many children who are self abusive and this is a perplexing problem for parents and caregivers. Head banging, self-biting, clawing/scratching, and hair pulling are all self-injurious behaviors sometimes exhibited.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A very important question to ask is what is triggering this unique acting-out behavior. Toddlers are often frustrated when events do not meet their expectations. Learning self-regulating behavior is often a challenge. When their sensory systems reach overload, they often respond with crying or tantruming. After a few moments, the intensity usually passes with or without intervention and they self-regulate and return to a state of &quot;normalization&quot; where they can once again engage with their world. Being very tired or sick can extend their out of sync behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually; however, the very act of crying and tantruming provides the body with the opportunity to calm. Crying/tantrums requires deep breathing, tensing of muscles and even falling onto the floor or kicking or hitting. All of these behavior result in calming the nervous system and returning it to normal. Even as adults deep breathing, deep tension alternated with relaxation, deep pressure, punching a pillow and even a good cry help us to &quot;feel better&quot; and self-regulate to a more calmed state.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Self-injurious behavior may indicate that a child's sensory system is not integrated and they escalate to what we consider the pain level to increase sensory stimuli in an effort to achieve self-regulation. Of course, the response of parents gives them intense attention that adds a behavioral component to the sensory based issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intervention may best be focused on providing the intense sensory stimulation that his body is seeking. Grasping him in a deep bear hug, rocking him aggressively while speaking at an intensity that matches his and gradually modulating your voice as a model for him to follow may all assist him. Of course, identifying triggers and providing distraction or other calming interventions before the abusive behaviors begin is even better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend reading information on Sensory Integration Disorders or Sensory Processing Disorders as a reference for strategies that are calming. I am NOT implying that you child has this disorder. I believe that understanding sensory integration and sensory processing is invaluable to all parents and the strategies used with these children benefit all children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, keeping the nails short may prevent the most severe damage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="566" LastEditDate="2011-08-06T01:47:12.570" LastActivityDate="2011-08-06T01:47:12.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2500" CreationDate="2011-08-06T00:38:50.263" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Providing natural consequences and age appropriate opportunities for failure within limits is very useful in developing the concept of value and decision-making skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of the areas I wish I had known of when my son was a child. Basically, I wanted him to be a success and I would pay a great price for it. I was convinced that I could help him be a success by helping him when he came up short. By &quot;helping&quot; with projects that he procrastinated on or delivering his &quot;forgotten&quot; items promptly so he would not face the consequences, I actually reinforced the opposite mindset that I desired. He was very intelligent and understood that he could easily get by with less than optimal effort since I would always fill in his slack.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Training in &lt;em&gt;Active Parenting Now&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;Active Parenting for Teens&lt;/em&gt; helped me understand ways to implement supportive parenting strategies. You can check these programs out at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.activeparenting.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.activeparenting.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW, my son managed to turn out rather well in spite of me. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-11T02:18:59.743" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T02:18:59.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-08-06T07:15:46.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Birth to Five, a book from the UK National Health Service, says that milk or water is okay to drink at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Caringforchildsteeth.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Caringforchildsteeth.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At bedtime or during the night, give your baby milk or water rather than baby juices or sugar-sweetened drinks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Water is probably better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is another reason to avoid sippy-cups (cups with valves) - they can delay speech, can contribute to tooth decay, and can cause problems with hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Drinksandcups.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Drinksandcups.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It’s important to choose the right kind of beaker or cup. A beaker with a free-flow lid (without a non-spill valve) is better than a bottle or beaker with a teat. Drinks flow very slowly through a teat, which means that children spend lot of time with the teat in their mouth. This can delay speech development and damage teeth, especially if they're drinking a sweetened drink. As soon as your child is ready, encourage them to move from a lidded beaker to drinking from a cup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000638.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000638.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Ear infections are also more likely if a child spends a lot of time drinking from a sippy cup or bottle while lying on his or her back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question about bed wetting: Cutting back on fluids won't help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/pages/bedwetting.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/pages/bedwetting.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Cutting back on fluids won’t help as your child’s bladder will simply adjust to hold less. It is better for your child to drink around six or seven cups of fluid during the day so that their bladder learns to cope with a healthy amount of fluid. Don't give your child drinks with caffeine, such as tea, cola and chocolate, before they go to bed. These can stimulate the kidneys to produce more urine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bedwetting is normal up to the age of around 5 or 6.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-06T07:15:46.897" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2509" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-08-06T08:08:39.457" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-08-06T08:08:39.457" LastActivityDate="2011-08-06T08:08:39.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2510" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-08-06T08:08:39.457" Score="0" Body="For all questions about pacifiers or dummies, like how to make a child take a pacifier or wean them off it. Use [thumb-sucking] for questions about thumb sucking instead." OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-15T11:53:09.197" LastActivityDate="2019-08-15T11:53:09.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2011-08-06T08:56:17.560" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;While a 13 month old may not be ready to stand or walk, they should be sitting and crawling. Crawling provides weight bearing through the upper legs and hips. Not crawling sometimes leads to later difficulties with sensory issues and some research has also shown later difficulty with reading/writing/visual convergence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several possible reasons for a child to be non-weight bearing. Hypotonia or low tone makes it harder for a child to move against gravity. Also, some children who do not get enough tummy time do not develop the core strength that is needed. Some children do not learn to walk until around age 16-18 months though this falls into the lower limits of the typical range.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some simple activities to encourage weight bearing. To help with strengthening gently bounce your daughter on a large exercise ball. Hold her low on her hips and shift her weight side to side and back to front while she is bouncing. This requires her to work core muscles to &quot;right&quot; her body in space. Place her on a smaller ball on her tummy and roll it forward and backward. Encourage her to place her hands on the floor and then roll it back on her feet or knees and encourage her to bear weight in each position.  Place her in a hand-knee position over your leg and encourage her to play while bearing weight and reaching. Use a small box or tray table and place her in a kneeling position with her bottom sitting on the back of her heels (make sure her bottom does not drop between her feet). Entice her to come up to tall kneel to play with toys or reach for things. Sit her on a small stool or box so that her feet touch the floor in a flat position, hold her hands and practice coming from sit to stand and back to sit. Using singing, mirrors, toys and bubbles are all motivating devices. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An evaluation by a physical therapist may be warranted to give you peace of mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-06T08:56:17.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1223" CreationDate="2011-08-06T14:00:12.843" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some foods are a choking hazard. This includes whole grapes (especially with the skin on); nuts (and any other small hard food); soft sticky food (some peanut butters, marshmallows, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-06T14:00:12.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2503" CreationDate="2011-08-07T03:06:43.627" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Self-harm in toddlers can be hard to pin down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very common with autistic children and children with sensory disorders -- they can block out overload or frustration with something easy to do that shuts out whatever they're having trouble ignoring.  If you already suspect autism or a sensory disorder for other reasons, I'd look doubly hard at the possibility now.  If not, then there are other causes to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some toddlers self-harm simply because it's something they can control in a world that is almost completely out of their control.  The best way to discover if this is the case is to increase opportunities for your child to be in control of things and see if the self-harm abates.  Some ways to do this are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encouraging the child to make simple either/or choices as part of your everyday routines, such as picking out his own clothes each day from two choices you have offered&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making sure that you and everyone in your family is very consistent in how you react to your toddler's behavior -- if he knows that behavior X always results in an immediate time out and behavior Y gets consistent praise, he feels like he knows how his world works, but if X is tolerated without reaction until you get really annoyed and blow up, he has no idea what happened and feels like it was just random, which is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; frightening.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making sure you provide your toddler with a stable routine, so he/she can predict what is happening next, or how common events (a haircut, cleaning his room, meal time, etc.) will work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some toddlers self-harm because they don't know how to handle feelings of frustration or anger.  Helping your child communicate more effectively (absolutely teach and use sign language if verbal communication is difficult for him!), and helping him learn what &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; appropriate to do to vent those feelings will help stop the self-harm if this is the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some toddlers self-harm because they've learned that it gets really intense reactions from grown-ups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, some toddlers self-harm as the result of abuse.  The answer is to get the abuser out of the child's life immediately and permanently, and understand that it will take time for the child to adjust to his new world and phase out the self-harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be other reasons, but these are all the ones I've dealt with.  Whatever the cause, cutting the fingernails only helps so much; a child with even very short nails can often draw blood anyway, and if not there's always head banging, hair-rending and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you work on figuring out and dealing with the cause, try restraining your child when he begins to self-harm.  Do it calmly, and don't give any huge reaction or try to reason with the child about it.  At least in my experience, self-harm is a self-reinforcing behavior -- the more you allow him to do it, the more he will want to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-08-07T03:06:43.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1670" CreationDate="2011-08-07T13:18:08.320" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A small addition to the other answers: It's tempting to let your child fall asleep in your arms rather than put them down, but it's a really good idea to let them learn how to fall asleep by themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will really help avoid sleep problems later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-07T13:18:08.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2329" CreationDate="2011-08-07T13:44:34.077" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Swaddling is mostly to help children cope with their &quot;Moro Reflex&quot;.  This is the arm jerking they do, which often wakes them up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should allow your child to get their arms out!  Sucking their thumb is fine; they need to learn how to self-sooth, especially after waking in the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-07T13:44:34.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2517" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2519" CreationDate="2011-08-07T13:56:47.913" Score="5" ViewCount="1063" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What are the advantages and disadvantages of parents sleeping in the&#xA;same room as their child(ren)? For both parents and child(ren)?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Until what age (months? years?) would you prefer to have your child&#xA;    sleep in the same room?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1060" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-07T18:43:26.407" LastActivityDate="2011-08-07T18:43:26.407" Title="What are the (dis)advantages of parents and children sharing a bedroom?" Tags="|sleep|bedroom|sharing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2518" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2523" CreationDate="2011-08-07T14:02:31.713" Score="14" ViewCount="9089" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1908/what-is-the-least-problematic-age-difference-between-siblings&quot;&gt;What is the least problematic age difference between siblings?&lt;/a&gt; but I had a different question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That question is rather &quot;from a child's point of view: what age would you prefer your siblings to have&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mine would rather be: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are there any advantages/disadvantages of becoming pregnant right&#xA;after giving birth?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much time should be left between pregnancies? Why?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1060" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T20:22:59.683" Title="How long should one wait between pregnancies?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2517" CreationDate="2011-08-07T14:15:17.610" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had our daughter in our room until she was 6 months, our son until he as 9 months. The benefits we found were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Night time feeds are a lot easier - it is a lot easier to get the baby&#xA;when they are a few feet away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You only have to heat one room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the missus needs help for some reason, you are already there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can hear you child breathing, thus tend to relax a bit more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can not say there were any downsides aside from having to be quiet when you go to bed. In both cases, we had no issues when we move the children to their own rooms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-08-07T14:15:17.610" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1557" CreationDate="2011-08-07T20:08:21.620" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son had the same problem as a five year old entering kindergarten. It was his teacher's first class. When he finished his assignment (which was very quickly) he then took the role of teaching his table mates whatever crossed his mind at the time. Of course, his teacher was unhappy and used the accepted behavior modification program with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He got his name put on the board for &amp;quot;talking&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;misbehaving&amp;quot; for his first offense. A check was added for the second as a warning. The third offense resulted in another check and missing his next break time. He quickly learned the pattern and managed to get exactly two checks EVERY DAY.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We met with his teacher and explained that he loved seeing his name and would do ANYTHING to get it put on the board. We suggested that she put everyone's name on the board and take it down for an offense. Also, we recommended that she give him the assignment of helping another child who needed support or other special assignments after he finished his work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These recommendations did result in better adaptation to the environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="41037" LastEditDate="2021-05-01T22:06:39.240" LastActivityDate="2021-05-01T22:06:39.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2518" CreationDate="2011-08-07T22:53:45.323" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion any 'advantage' of an immediate pregnancy can also be a 'disadvantage'in the right situation. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your kids will be close together in age - advantage - a built in playmate.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, they can't share a crib/toddler bed, which means you have to have 2 of everything, costing more money - disadvantage (unless you co-sleep). When they're older they can share bunk beds (assuming same sex kids), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting through the 'potty training' period quicker - advantage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, training 2 kids at nearly the same time can be....frustrating - disadvantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Related to #2 - getting through the 'terrible 2's quicker - advantage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having 2 kids go through that period at the same time... disadvantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If Mom is breastfeeding, she can continue with the baby - advantage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, trying to juggle breastfeeding 2 babies at once: a newborn that's clusterfeeding every half hour and a 10 month old that is hungry and/or wants to comfort nurse - disadvantage if you can't get a good feeding schedule going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as time between pregnancies; in my opinion there should be at least 9 months between them. Pregnancy is very taxing on a woman's body and back to back pregnancies even more so.  The uterus needs time to contract, the same with the muscles and ligaments which have stretched to support the stomach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-08-07T22:53:45.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2011-08-08T00:21:36.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember also that there are no foods that cannot be eaten at breakfast. Culture alone - not health or nutrition - has dictated certain foods more accepted at breakfast. &quot;Breaking the rules&quot; or &quot;eating outside expectations&quot; may be appealing to your children and increase interest and acceptance while it broadens the possibility of nutritional options. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-08T00:21:36.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2518" CreationDate="2011-08-08T03:16:16.787" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.marchofdimes.com/getready_indepth.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;March of Dimes&lt;/a&gt; website had this to say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How long should a woman wait between pregnancies?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most women, it’s best to wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant again. This gives a woman’s body enough time to get ready physically for another pregnancy. It also gives her time to adjust to life as a mom. Shorter time intervals between pregnancies may increase the risk of premature birth (8). However, not all women can wait 18 months because of their age or other reasons. A woman should talk to her health care provider to determine the right amount of time for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babycenter has advice for moms who deliver &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_whats-the-ideal-spacing-between-children_7091.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;via vaginal birth&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-long-should-i-wait-before-conceiving-again-after-a-c-sec_1334487.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;via Caesarian section&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also an &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/53287386.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;entire thread on TheBump&lt;/a&gt; with numerous users chiming in with their experiences with their doctors, their children, and so forth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(As an aside, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_can-i-start-having-sex-before-my-six-week-postpartum-checkup_11810.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;you can be intimate with your partner&lt;/a&gt; far sooner than the recommended 18 months!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-08-08T03:16:16.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2524" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2531" CreationDate="2011-08-08T05:30:03.970" Score="3" ViewCount="634" Body="&lt;p&gt;January 2012, my son turns 10. I want to do something special with him, just me and him. A male bonding session to celebrate his double-digits. I've spoken to my wife and she thinks it's a great idea, the only problem is what to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He loves the outdoors and whatever we do it must be an ADVENTURE. I'm looking for ideas rather than places to visit. We live in Australia, for those that what to suggest places here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1397" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-08T06:13:02.957" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T14:56:43.300" Title="My son turns 10, what can I do for him that will be special?" Tags="|development|travel|activities|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2524" CreationDate="2011-08-08T06:13:38.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here are some outdoor ideas&lt;/strong&gt;, off the top of my head. I've tried focusing on stuff that's special in some way, something that he might not have had opportunity to experience before. These ideas are slightly biased toward what I think would be cool things in Australia (esp. diving), but I realize that down under is a big place so you might not be near the ocean, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a weekend camping trip, with hikes during the day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;combine camping with fishing, if you're into it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.padi.com/scuba/padi-courses/diver-level-courses/view-all-padi-courses/discover-scuba-diving/default.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;diving course&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;take a weekend to learn horse-back riding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a go-cart race&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a one-week special vacation, to see a distant part of the country, or even a different country. Combine with the above.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-08T11:52:12.733" LastActivityDate="2011-08-08T11:52:12.733" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2524" CreationDate="2011-08-08T07:38:09.697" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a child I loved climbing and scrambling.  There are these safe climbing activities, which are near me in the UK:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cotswoldcountrypark.co.uk/head4heights.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cotswoldcountrypark.co.uk/head4heights.shtml&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You climb poles, and can jump off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://goape.co.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://goape.co.uk/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a bigger activity set in woodland, with treetop walks and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps there are some things similar near you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2011-08-08T08:17:33.143" LastActivityDate="2011-08-08T08:17:33.143" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="302" CreationDate="2011-08-08T08:09:18.817" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's some advice that says about half of all children under five go through some periods of night waking:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Commonsleepproblems.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Commonsleepproblems.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also has some advice about finding out what's causing the waking, and how to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Is it hunger? If your child is a year or older, some cereal and milk last thing at night might help them to sleep through the night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Are they afraid of the dark? You could use a nightlight or leave a landing light on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Is your child waking up because of night fears or bad dreams? If so, try to find out if something is bothering them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Is your child too hot or too cold? Adjust their bedclothes or the heating in the room and see if that helps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If there’s no obvious cause, and your child continues to wake up, cry or demand company, you could try some of the following suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Scheduled waking. If your child wakes up at the same time every night, try waking them 15-60 minutes before this time, then settling them back to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Let your child sleep in the same room as a brother or sister. If you think your child may be lonely, and their brother or sister doesn’t object, put them in the same room. This can help them both sleep through the night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Teach your child to get back to sleep by themselves. First check that everything is alright. If it is, settle your child down without talking to them too much. If they want a drink, give them water but don’t give them anything to eat. For this approach to work, you need to leave them in their cot or bed. Don't take them downstairs or into your bed. Let them cry for around five minutes before you check on them. Over the next few nights, gradually increase the amount of time you leave them before checking. It might take a week or two but if you keep the routine going, your child should start falling asleep on their own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Tackle it together. If you have a partner, agree between you how to tackle your child’s sleeping problems. You don’t want to try to decide what to do in the middle of the night. If you've both agreed what's best for your child, it’ll be easier to stick to your plan.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(My personal opinion is that controlled crying techniques need to be done with more care and routine than tis suggested in this list.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cutting back naps may not work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.midwivesonline.com/parents/parents1//73////?ttl=i3&amp;amp;page=babysleep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.midwivesonline.com/parents/parents1//73////?ttl=i3&amp;amp;page=babysleep&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-08T08:09:18.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2528" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2537" CreationDate="2011-08-08T08:30:53.033" Score="10" ViewCount="753" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are very many products available that claim to help make a home safer for baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like a list, &lt;em&gt;based on some kind of evidence&lt;/em&gt;, for which of these products are more important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, in the UK, many children are hurt when a flat-screen TV topples onto them. Thus a wall-mounting bracket is a useful bit of equipment.  But you see (almost everywhere!) electrical socket covers.  The UK has a mandatory inbuilt safety feature - there's a sliding cover that prevents anything going in the live holes until an earth pin is inserted.  I'm not aware of any children being hurt by electrocution, thus socket covers would be lower on my list.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-08T11:45:10.093" LastActivityDate="2013-09-14T12:19:46.330" Title="What home-safety aspects should new parents consider?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-09T10:56:44.717" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2529" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-08T08:58:56.240" Score="8" ViewCount="3493" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our little boy is 4 and half months old. He weights around 7.5 kg. He wakes up many times at night for milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shall we start giving him baby food so that he does not feel hungry at night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="982" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-08T15:47:04.503" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T08:42:20.950" Title="Should we give our infant baby food to avoid feeding at night?" Tags="|infant|food|night-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2529" CreationDate="2011-08-08T10:40:24.587" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Early weaning probably won't help your baby sleep through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/solidsexpert/&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/solidsexpert/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No research supports this belief. Young babies given solid food (and this includes rice cereal in their bottle) at a young age, do not sleep any better than babies who are not given solid foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It's an old wives' tale based on the mistaken assumption that young babies need solids such as baby rice to help them sleep through the night. The Department of Health recommends that babies should not be given solid foods before six months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/tipcerealinbottle.htm&quot;&gt;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/tipcerealinbottle.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We know that many are probably tempted to try the old &quot;cereal in the bottle&quot; trick to gain an extra 1 hour (heck even an extra 20 minutes.) of sleep. We also know that this is one of the biggest and possibly one of the more dangerous practices you could engage in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It is not a good idea because you may throw the &quot;I'm full&quot; instinct off kilter; more importantly, babies have been known to aspirate cereal when cereal is mixed in a bottle with formula or breast milk.  Babies who are younger than 4-6 months old seldom know how to properly swallow anything other than breast milk or formula and gulping or &quot;inhaling&quot; a bottle with cereal in it may have deadly consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recommendations are that babies get nothing  but breast milk for the first six months; or formula if breast feeding is not possible.  There are important health reasons for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are techniques you could try to help your child sleep through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Babysleeptips.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Babysleeptips.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Disturbed nights can be very hard to cope with. If you have a partner, get them to help.&#xA;  If you’re formula feeding, encourage your partner to share the feeds. If you’re breastfeeding, ask your partner to take over the early morning changing and dressing so that you can go back to sleep.&#xA;  Once you’re into a good breastfeeding routine, your partner could occasionally give a bottle of expressed breast milk during the night. If you’re on your own, you could ask a friend or relative to stay for a few days so that you can sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people might suggest 'controlled crying', but that's not really suitable for babies under six months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you decide that you still want to wean early, you could read this advice about what foods to avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Weaningfirststeps.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Weaningfirststeps.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2011-08-11T06:11:23.037" LastActivityDate="2011-08-11T06:11:23.037" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2524" CreationDate="2011-08-08T12:53:45.503" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may be a hit-or-miss suggestion, as it really depends on what your 10 year old likes.  But, since you say he likes the outdoors, and you want an adventure....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Australia is known world-wide as the producer of some of the best opals.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.oldtimersmine.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Some&lt;/a&gt; of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.umoonaopalmine.com.au/tours.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;mines&lt;/a&gt; offer &lt;a href=&quot;http://blackopalsaustralia.com/tours/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;tours&lt;/a&gt;, and you can look for your own opals.  There is even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.camp-underground.com.au/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;underground camping&lt;/a&gt; available at some sites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son can swim, and is comfortable in the ocean, a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.great-barrier-reef.com/great-barrier-reef-tours.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;snorkeling tour&lt;/a&gt; of the Great Barrier Reef is another adventure specific to Australia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-08-08T12:53:45.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2529" CreationDate="2011-08-08T13:00:56.910" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, you are best off waiting it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At around 6 months, you can start supplementing his meals with some baby-safe cereals (rice cereal is a very common first solid food).  However, you should consult with your pediatrician first.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to note that formula will remain the primary source of nutrition until he is roughly one year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he's old enough to start on solid foods, a late-night meal of cereal may very well help him sleep through the night.  However, be aware that infants tend to change their sleep patterns fairly frequently as they grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is rough at first, but take hope: baby sleep cycles get progressively easier as they get older, and six months is frequently a milestone for seeing some improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-08-08T13:00:56.910" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2534" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2535" CreationDate="2011-08-08T17:11:16.757" Score="12" ViewCount="3496" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are working on potty training our two year old girl and it is interfering with our bedtime routine.  She will often keep requesting to use the potty, knowing that we will take her out of bed to go to the bathroom, sometimes as many as four times in a night.  It became obvious pretty quickly that she was just delaying bedtime because she would just try and talk with us while on the potty and make jokes.  We have been trying to make it as boring as possible, by standing out in the hall so that she does not have someone to directly interact with while on the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we reduce the number of times we take her to the potty after putting her to bed without giving her a complex about the toilet?  I am afraid to deny her the extra potty runs since sometimes she actually does go on the extra times (thought more often not).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="374" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T11:22:25.507" Title="What to do when toddler keeps using the potty to stay awake at bedtime?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2534" CreationDate="2011-08-08T17:49:40.920" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Ok, one more trip and then straight to bed.&quot; worked well for us... not only with the potty but also with &quot;I'm thirsty&quot; and &quot;I need to give mommy a kiss good night&quot; and ... all his other stalling tactics. Basically he realized that whatever thing he wanted to do to stall getting to bed would replace the next story I was about to read, and make it the last thing before lights out. He would rather have the stories and he knew I'd read more stories if he stayed in bed. As soon as we realized he was stalling and not actually needing whatever, boom, cut off. He very quickly stopped stalling entirely... quite often now he falls asleep listening to stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-08-08T17:49:40.920" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2524" CreationDate="2011-08-09T08:50:00.033" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I play a lot of festival gigs with my band I took my 10 year old son along as a roadie to our latest one for his birthday - spoke to all the hospitality managers and got him access passes so he got to meet a lot of bands and get backstage, sat in at sound and video desks etc and generally was pampered by crews and production.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ymmv, but it was a great bonding experience for us - must be something similar possible where you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-08-09T08:50:00.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2528" CreationDate="2011-08-09T10:44:32.710" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some things that you should think of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Child-safe sockets. As you mention the UK and many other countries have mandatory safety sockets, but you may have old sockets in your house or live in a country where this isn't a requirement. So check your sockets, buy covers for any socket that isn't in use.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Safety gates. Any stairs should have a safety gate at the top and if possible at the bottom.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Drawer cabinet catches. All drawers or cabinets which have something dangerous in them, such as chemicals, sharp objects (or things that easily break into sharp objects, like glass) or power tools, must have a safety catch which means kids can't open them. Beware that they still can and will squeeze their fingers, but that's probably just a good lesson. Put safety catches on cupboards that have fragile and valuable things as well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Window catches. Many modern windows can be locked in an open position with a hole small enough so kids can't get through. For older windows, a windows catch is an absolute must, so that you can lock the window open with just a small opening. Even better is the type of catch which means even once the kid has figured out to open the Window, you can't open it fully unless you have figured out to open the more complicated Window catch. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Door stops. The doors between rooms are heavy enough to do much more damage than squeezing the fingers. Door stops are a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Corner bumpers. While your child is learning to walk, put corner bumpers on all the sharp corners. Kids love to take them off though, so beware that they are where they should be.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bookshelf fastenings. Tall furniture, and especially narrow and tall furniture like bookshelfs, should be attached to the wall so the can't topple over a toddler who decided that climbing higher up would be fun.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your idea for some sort of fastening (like a wall mount) for flat-screen TV's is a good idea I hadn't thought about.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to this, any home, kids or not, should have:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Smoke detectors.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fire extinguisher.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A first aid kit.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;And why not a fire blanket in the kitchen?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-08-09T10:44:32.710" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-09T10:56:44.717" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2528" CreationDate="2011-08-09T11:43:03.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lennart has already collected a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2528/what-home-safety-aspects-should-new-parents-consider/2537#2537&quot;&gt;lot of useful and important things&lt;/a&gt; to consider for a safe environment for young children&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd add the following points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;install &lt;strong&gt;barriers e g. like a U-shaped fence for the hotplates&lt;/strong&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/imgres?q=herdschutzgitter&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;safe=off&amp;amp;client=safari&amp;amp;rls=en&amp;amp;biw=1680&amp;amp;bih=918&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;tbnid=44EFItidH40gsM:&amp;amp;imgrefurl=http://www.gimahhot.de/m900-393963-0-0-0/reer-herdschutzgitter-weiss.html&amp;amp;docid=IkB-7AZZk7jITM&amp;amp;w=500&amp;amp;h=471&amp;amp;ei=EpNBTv-9E8zGswbx2YzLBw&amp;amp;zoom=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;example image&lt;/a&gt; to avoid touching the hot plates or  hot pots or pans being tore down from the plate)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are also &lt;strong&gt;safety (rotary) knobs for the hotplates&lt;/strong&gt;,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;but our son (about 2 years old, if I remember correctly) had managed to turn a plate on in less than 24 hours after the installation of the knobs.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in general &lt;strong&gt;storing all dangerous things like detergents, chemicals, etc. only in the highest cupboards&lt;/strong&gt; were children will hardly reach them. We had to learn that our son very quickly learned to open most safety locks - so talking to the child about the dangers is also important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Ribbed radiators&lt;/em&gt; (like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.bauteilnetz.de/bauteilnetz/dbilder/cde_DID/P600X600/2668.jpg&amp;amp;imgrefurl=http://www.bauteilnetz.de/bauteilnetz/website/bauteilsuche/rippen-heizkoerper?btk_bauteil_show=9042&amp;amp;btk_suche=true&amp;amp;btk_kid=7&amp;amp;btk_gid=61&amp;amp;btkt_seite=8&amp;amp;h=450&amp;amp;w=600&amp;amp;sz=35&amp;amp;tbnid=2VkuE8L7Et4mbM:&amp;amp;tbnh=90&amp;amp;tbnw=120&amp;amp;prev=/search?q=rippenheizk%25C3%25B6rper&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;tbo=u&amp;amp;zoom=1&amp;amp;q=rippenheizk%C3%B6rper&amp;amp;docid=9TDtoHZLJrxJZM&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=g5hBTvDbNtOxhAeTr9HSCQ&amp;amp;ved=0CEcQ9QEwBQ&amp;amp;dur=3237&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;example&lt;/a&gt;) can cause injury in case of collision, our son once slipped off in the kitchen and got a laceration on the front from such a radiator (afterwards we installed wooden fences in front of them)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Further critical objects&lt;/strong&gt; which could/should be stored in safe locations are:&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Knives ans scissors&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tools (screwdrivers, pincers, saws, drills, etc.) and glue&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;plastic bags or foils&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;electrical devices in the bathroom&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Weapons (if there should be some in the house)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I also read in an article, that toilet bowl fresheners can be dangerous for little children, as they are colored and look interesting (and can be easily reached and tasted).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other &lt;strong&gt;places which may need safety measures&lt;/strong&gt; are e. g. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;balcony&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pool or garden pond&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;windows &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An easy (but not 100% safe!!) trick to avoid little children access rooms with dangerous things like a workshop or store room unobserved is to &lt;em&gt;turn the door handle about 90°&lt;/em&gt;, so that it points upwards. It will take some time until a child can reach it and open the door, however with a stool this can be avoided by the child if it starts mounting on things...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-08-09T21:00:24.263" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-09T11:43:03.830" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2539" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-08-09T14:13:22.680" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;How children learn how to interact with others, and techniques to help in that learning process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-09T14:13:22.680" LastActivityDate="2011-08-09T14:13:22.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2540" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-08-09T14:13:22.680" Score="0" Body="How children learn how to interact with others, and techniques to help in that learning process." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-09T14:13:22.680" LastActivityDate="2011-08-09T14:13:22.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2541" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-08-09T14:15:35.017" Score="0" Body="" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-09T14:15:35.017" LastActivityDate="2011-08-09T14:15:35.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2542" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-08-09T14:15:35.017" Score="0" Body="Mouthing refers to children putting objects (including hands, toes, etc.) in their mouth as a means of exploring their environment, self-soothing, or coping with teething." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-09T14:15:35.017" LastActivityDate="2011-08-09T14:15:35.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2528" CreationDate="2011-08-09T21:55:33.693" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a couple good answers for protecting your child from danger.  Even though it's not &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; what you asked, I just wanted to point out something a lot of new parents overlook while they're doing this sort of planning:  protecting your stuff from your child.  Your book collection, paper files, DVDs, CDs, electronic gadgets, etc. don't pose much of a danger to your child, but he can do a lot of damage to them in a very short amount of time.  Look around your house and put anything you wouldn't want torn up, chewed up, or banged up away and out of reach.  Otherwise, you'll end up constantly hovering over him and taking what he considers &quot;toys&quot; away from him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-08-09T21:55:33.693" CommentCount="4" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-09T21:55:33.693" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2524" CreationDate="2011-08-10T03:13:31.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This might not be applicable if you do that a lot with your son, but find out what it is about you that he's interested in.  How about a place that is special to you for some reason, or a place you went to before he was born?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1410" LastActivityDate="2011-08-10T03:13:31.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2305" CreationDate="2011-08-10T15:31:17.110" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a Gramma and my kids did have some of the same problems. This is what we did and it worked for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Only small healthy snacks during the day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No snacks one hour before meals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A small plate of food at meal time. After 30 minutes if the child has not ate, wrap the plate up, put in refrigerator. When the child says I'm hungry, warm the plate up and give to them again. You can do this up to 3 times on that same plate. After that throw out the food. Do not fuss about not eating. One day your child will eat. There are some foods I do not eat and its okay with me. So there will be some foods your child will not eat and its okay. They will try it when they get older.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Relax and let meal time be fun so they will want to come to the table. You can also play a guessing game at the dinner table.Do what ever is fun at the table, but no fussing! Family time should be fun and dinner time should be fun!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1418" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-10T15:59:47.283" LastActivityDate="2011-08-10T15:59:47.283" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2548" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-10T16:08:31.307" Score="4" ViewCount="159" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife can no longer nurse our infant due to her health issues. Is there an online resource I can use to research different types/brands of infant formula? I'm looking for independent, and preferable long-term longitudinal studies of child health similar to the ones which compare formula feeding vs breastfeeding. Do such studies exist? Where can we find them? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-08T12:09:57.497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T12:09:57.497" Title="Where can I find good research on long term health impact of different types/brands of infant formula (in the US)?" Tags="|infant|formula|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="845" CreationDate="2011-08-10T17:20:52.200" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Protection from strong sunlight?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-10T17:20:52.200" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="88" CreationDate="2011-08-10T19:03:05.123" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dummy / Pacifier use should stop between the ages of 6 months and 12 months ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Reducingtheriskofcotdeath.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Reducingtheriskofcotdeath.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It's possible that using a dummy at the start of any sleep period reduces the risk of cot death. However, the evidence is not strong and not all experts agree that dummies should be promoted. Don't give your baby a dummy until breastfeeding is well established, usually when they're around one month old. Stop giving them the dummy when they're between 6 and 12 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...and they should only be used at night time before then&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Yourchildsspeech.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Yourchildsspeech.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Restrict use of their dummy to when it's time to sleep. It’s hard to learn to talk with a dummy in your mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how to stop, you could try &lt;em&gt;&quot;PANTLEY'S GENTLE REMOVAL PLAN&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0&quot;&gt;http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2011-08-12T07:01:36.843" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T07:01:36.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1211" CreationDate="2011-08-11T01:45:13.593" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many different levels of motor skills, body awareness/schema, and visual motor perceptual skills required for the various aspects of undressing/dressing. Refining all of these skills may not be completed until 3-4 years of age. However, I do have a suggestion for encouraging her &quot;next step&quot; in each task. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In therapy, we use &quot;backward chaining&quot; to facilitate skills in a challenging yet achievable manner. This strategy requires analyzing every task in reverse and having the child do the very last step in the process until that step is skilled. Then, add the preceding task as their next step. Continue backwards until the entire task is easily accomplished. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example for putting on socks includes: Step 1: Put socks on over the heels and child pulls up leg; Step 2: Stop before the heel and child completes; Step 3: Put socks just over the toes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Removing a shirt might include: Step 1: Remove shirt leaving at top of head for child to remove; Step 2: Leave shirt at nose level and have child remove; Step 3: Leave shirt a neck level to remove; Step 4: Remove only one arm and child removes second arm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any dressing task can be taught using this method and moves the child from success to success giving many opportunities for practice, celebration, and development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-11T01:45:13.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1201" CreationDate="2011-08-11T01:58:39.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teething is a process and a child may be &quot;teething&quot; for months before teeth actually emerge. A child's behavior may truly be reflecting teething discomfort and be read as a &quot;false alarm&quot; because the tooth is forming and remains below the gum. The answers above thoroughly cover the symptoms and these apply whether teeth are seen promptly or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-11T01:58:39.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1432" CreationDate="2011-08-11T13:05:17.513" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Aside from all the above, which are great features, you may want the baby monitor to not interfere with your Wifi signal at home. It's something that's not always clearly stated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many baby monitors operate on the same frequency as most wireless routers (2.4 Ghz) and use a (too) wide band of channels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="296" LastEditorUserId="296" LastEditDate="2011-08-11T22:44:04.440" LastActivityDate="2011-08-11T22:44:04.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2011-08-11T20:26:10.853" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't rush it. She'll stand when she wants to, unless you've some reason to think that there are physiological reasons, just let her be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a cot/crib with bars on and ours love standing on the floor and trying to get to toys on their bedding, they can see inside and there are bars to hold on to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I don't think that there's any particular reason to rush them; walking at a very early age isn't going to guarantee an Olympic running medal - but it will mean that you're chasing after them sooner than you might otherwise do! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="126" LastActivityDate="2011-08-11T20:26:10.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1141" CreationDate="2011-08-12T01:08:49.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps focusing on how you and your child communicate in closer proximity is a good place to begin practicing this skill. When in sight of your child, do not respond to crying but instead move into his line of sight. Then coach him with questions, or modeling the words you feel he should be saying quietly, until he says them himself. Then respond promptly verbally while repeating/summarizing his request. Saying, &quot;You said you need help!&quot; &quot;I will be happy to help you!&quot; &quot;Thank you for asking me.&quot; &quot;I like helping you.&quot; Fade cues as his skill increases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting up opportunities in play by hiding objects in sealed containers and cuing him to ask for help will give opportunity to practice. Also, call for him to come help you sometimes will be another fun way to practice this pragmatic language skill.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T01:08:49.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2557" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2570" CreationDate="2011-08-12T05:02:14.227" Score="11" ViewCount="1728" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3 kids who seem to use medical reasons for excuses, most often to not go to bed. For instance, my 7 year old periodically &quot;Can't move&quot; at bed time to get to his bed, but when he gets in there, he suddenly is able to move out of his room. I'm not sure quite what to do about it. On the one hand, I feel like giving him attention because of a fake illness is a very bad thing, but on the other hand, a part of me wonders if it really is something. What can I do? Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-12T07:36:04.763" LastActivityDate="2017-08-04T16:43:46.933" Title="How can I handle a child that claims medical problems as a bad excuse?" Tags="|behavior|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2557" CreationDate="2011-08-12T16:03:23.770" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you think that the kid is giving you a hard time with a fake &quot;medical problem&quot;, then ignore him. He'll figure out after a little while that you aren't falling for it, and that'll be the end of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child who frequently pretends to be sick or injured actually &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; sick or injured, he'll find a way to tell you that he's not faking. Don't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="566" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T16:03:23.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2011-08-12T16:48:38.643" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use bum genius 4.0 (we got a great deal on a package) and plan to use the same ones for all our kids. Our son is five months old and we've already broke even if we had used disposables and that's including diapers, detergent, and wet bags. I don't know what brand of really cheap disposables people are using to justify that they are the same cost. With our efficient washer and high quality diapers we can use for multiple kids we are saving a lot of $$.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1430" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T16:48:38.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="547" CreationDate="2011-08-12T17:13:49.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are raising a fink.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter was a fink. She loved (and still loves) to get herself involved in the business of others. I don't really get it myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she involved herself in a situation, we treated her as if she was involved in the situation. So if her cousins were throwing rocks, and she ran to us and tattled, we punished the whole lot (including her) for throwing rocks. She soon learned to mind her own business, at least around Mom and Dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School was trickier, because the buffoons in authority at schools reward finks.  In that situation, when she talked to us about others treating her badly, we discussed the history between her and them. If she had finked, then we made sure she was clear that people don't like finks, and treat them badly. She is bright, so she started getting it, and started controlling her &quot;finkish&quot; impulses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T17:13:49.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2561" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2572" CreationDate="2011-08-12T17:18:40.807" Score="10" ViewCount="781" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are good friends with another couple who has two kids (ages 4 and 1). Our kids are similar in age and best friends with theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one year old, after a long string of medical issues, including multiple surgeries, has just been diagnosed with 9P syndrome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I've read, it's extremely rare and somewhat similar to Down syndrome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am deeply sad for them and am not sure how to process that BUT &lt;em&gt;this question is about this amazing child and his parents&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;strong&gt;What can my wife and I do to help them today, next week, next month, next year, +10 years, etc.?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="426" LastEditorUserId="426" LastEditDate="2011-08-16T00:49:31.003" LastActivityDate="2011-08-16T00:49:31.003" Title="How can I support my friends who have just had a child diagnosed with 9P Syndrome?" Tags="|friends|sickness|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2561" CreationDate="2011-08-12T17:35:22.777" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Just be there.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Share their pain. Don't run away. Love them and their children. This is a tragic situation, and they need people around them. They don't need to feel isolated, and people are going to shy away. Don't do so yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With limited info at my disposal, the most obvious thing I can suggest for practical help is to offer to watch the other child whenever necessary, and to offer to watch the sick child when they need some time alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW .. don't forget about the other child. That one has got to be utterly bewildered, and probably feels neglected with all the fuss about the little one.  Big bro/sis needs a lot of love and support. Provide it, even when the parents don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T17:35:22.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2561" CreationDate="2011-08-12T17:40:24.473" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask them; they know what they need or what isn't helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try and offer specific help.  &quot;Come over next week for a cup of tea&quot; or &quot;let's organise a playdate&quot; (when that's appropriate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offer to go to support groups with them - although &quot;Alfi's Syndrome&quot; is quite rare, so there might not be any in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T17:40:24.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2561" CreationDate="2011-08-12T17:59:36.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Besides the other answers of being a solid friend, you can also read up on what it is, only so that you know when your friends want to talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A quick &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=9P%20syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Google search&lt;/a&gt; turned up several useful sources including &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.9pminus.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a support group&lt;/a&gt; and a &lt;a href=&quot;http://children.webmd.com/chromosome-9-trisomy-9p-multiple-variants&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;short WebMD page&lt;/a&gt; with more support addresses. Sadly, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monosomy_9p&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia entry&lt;/a&gt; is very brief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T17:59:36.467" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2011-08-12T17:59:45.733" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;My original answer (below) was correctly pointed out by beofett not to answer the OP's question. I made a different logical consstruction, which I stand by, and was critical of the lack of decision making in leaving the child not vaccinated, but I missed the actual question. So, I will answer it directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Question: vaccinate or deliberately expose?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Answer: VACCINATE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For generations we have intentionally exposed our children to chickenpox because it is generally harmless to children and much worse (and dangerous) to adults. So we effectively immunized the kids by giving it to them, sparing them a potentially nasty case of it as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that there is a vaccine, we can do the same thing without either the child or the parents actually having to suffer through a bout of the disease. This is great, because chicken pox just plain sucks. The vaccine was not available until after my daughter caught it at preschool. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the question is .. are the risks and downsides of getting the disease worse than the risks and downsides of the vaccine. The medical profession uniformly think so, although the cynics contend that they are in the hip pocket of big pharma. I say, if you don't trust your doctor, find another one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I repeat my answer .. &lt;strong&gt;vaccinate&lt;/strong&gt;. The risks are negligible (see the wikipedia excerpt below), and both you and the child are spared a terrible couple of weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varicella_vaccine&quot;&gt;wikipedia article&lt;/a&gt; on the vaccine...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The vaccine is exceedingly safe: approximately 5% of children who receive the vaccine develop a fever or rash, but as of 1 May 2006, there have been no deaths yet attributable to the vaccine despite more than 40 million doses being administered.[11] Cases of vaccine-related chickenpox have been reported in patients with a weakened immune system,[11][12] but no deaths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ORIGINAL ANSWER&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If your child is below the vaccination age (~ 1 year I think), the decision is easy.  Don't expose now, but vaccinate at the appropriate age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So let's answer the question assuming your child is older than 18 months or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are asking the question, then you have already made the vaccine decision because your child is not vaccinated. I disagree with that decision, but that ship has sailed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that, the decision to expose or not expose is binary. The vaccine issue shouldn't enter into it. Are you prepared for your child to get chicken pox &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;, and would you prefer a sure case now to a likely case at some unknown time in the future. Paraphrasing Harry Callahan, do you feel lucky?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me, I expose if I can make the arrangements, primarily because when Murphy hits me, he hits me hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2011-08-16T23:46:06.373" LastActivityDate="2011-08-16T23:46:06.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2557" CreationDate="2011-08-12T18:35:57.610" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming of course there is no real medical problem, it is either playful, or it is defiant.  Decide which it is, and treat is as such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is playful, and you have time, play along. If it is playful and you don't have time, or when you are done playing, say so. Then, continued refusal is defiance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For defiance, you need to respond to it as you would other direct refusal to do what is told or what they know is expected. Substitute &quot;NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME&quot; for &quot;I can't move&quot;, and act accordingly. My wife and I were never ones to tolerate direct defiance, so we would act swiftly and harshly. We would do something like pull her off the couch, drag her to her room, and leave her there with a valued possession in my hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T18:35:57.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1711" CreationDate="2011-08-12T19:10:08.450" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try a &quot;hungry baby&quot; formula.  (You should never weaken (or strengthen) formula feeds, by the way.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This page gives some information about common sleep problems:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Commonsleepproblems.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Commonsleepproblems.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;By the time your child is six months old, it’s reasonable to expect them to sleep through most nights. However, up to half of all children under five go through periods of night waking. Some will just go back to sleep on their own; others will cry or want company. If this happens, try to work out why your child is waking up.&#xA;  For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Is it hunger? If your child is a year or older, some cereal and milk last thing at night might help them to sleep through the night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Are they afraid of the dark? You could use a nightlight or leave a landing light on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Is your child waking up because of night fears or bad dreams? If so, try to find out if something is bothering them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Is your child too hot or too cold? Adjust their bedclothes or the heating in the room and see if that helps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to keep night and day different; you might need to get some good blackout blinds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2011-08-12T21:09:22.627" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T21:09:22.627" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2011-08-12T20:08:20.673" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://children.webmd.com/vaccines/news/20110725/sharp-drop-in-chickenpox-deaths-due-to-vaccine&quot;&gt;There was a report recently&lt;/a&gt; that chicken pox vaccine sharply reduced deaths from chicken pox in US. We think that chicken pox is not dangerous but before the vaccine there were around 100 deaths and 11,000 hospitalizations per year. This seems to be pretty convincing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T20:08:20.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="382" CreationDate="2011-08-12T20:58:27.493" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd go on a &lt;em&gt;Webster Stratton&lt;/em&gt; style course.  These are available in the UK from &lt;em&gt;Sure Start&lt;/em&gt; centres.  There are almost certainly other versions of this parenting training in other countries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's some nicely balanced info here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.clinpsy.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=765&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.clinpsy.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=765&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-12T20:58:27.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2557" CreationDate="2011-08-13T01:18:24.363" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son sometimes became &quot;ill&quot; to avoid going to school. When this behavior started becoming a habit, we dealt with this challenge by acting just as if he WAS sick for the rest of the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was allowed to stay home, but was reminded that people that are sick must rest to get better. Therefore, he was confined to bed or couch and unable to participate with the other family activities or exert himself with play or other pleasures all day. Television or gaming was not allowed because he needed to rest his eyes and body. Meals were bland soup instead of some yummy favorite the rest of the family got, because sick people need special diets. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If illness was not validated, the imposed rest and limited diet resulted in a quick recovery; however, the &quot;bitter pill&quot; of restrictions remained in place fall longer than the spontaneous recovery &quot;just to be sure&quot; all is well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was rarely a need to repeat this &quot;lesson&quot; when reminded of what we do to help our loved ones recover!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-08-27T01:38:58.907" LastActivityDate="2011-08-27T01:38:58.907" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2561" CreationDate="2011-08-13T01:50:34.257" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your friends are facing the process of grieving the loss of their &quot;normal&quot; child and their expectations of the future. Understanding the 5 stages of grief will prepare you to walk through this process with them and assist them on their path to acceptance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know that in the denial and isolation stage they may withdraw socially. Unrealistic anger at themselves, medical community or the world will likely follow. Their anger could even be directed at you because your children are healthy. Bargaining and depression follow. Acceptance is the final hurdle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your friends may pass through these stages quickly or get stuck in one place longer that another and can regress or be at more than one level at a time. As the years pass, there will be many opportunities to grieve again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your caring and accepting friendship can be an anchor in the storm that they now face. When confronted with great loss, I am often reminded to &quot;cry when you want to and laugh when you can.&quot; I encourage you to follow this advice as you travel this journey with your friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T01:50:34.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2561" CreationDate="2011-08-13T02:04:50.023" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year-old has cerebral palsy, so I've been on the other side of the coin.  Mostly what I remember about those difficult first few months was that a lot of people started thinking they had to either make grand gestures or none at all.  They planned special birthday parties for us in the hospital, just for us, but then didn't invite us to their &quot;normal&quot; birthday parties.  They would offer to come over to clean our house or bring us dinner, but not just come to &quot;hang out.&quot;  It's not that the grand gestures are unwelcome.  Far from it.  It's just that you need the normal stuff too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that can be very overwhelming is answering the same difficult questions about your child's condition over and over.  A lot of parents deal with this by using social media of some sort to post the general updates.  If your friends do this, try to respect it and not ask questions that are answered there.  We know you mean well, and you personally may not have talked to us for a few days, but when we get several phone calls a day asking us to repeat the same information, it can get overwhelming.  What is okay is saying something like, &quot;I saw on twitter the surgery/therapy/whatever went well.  That's great!&quot;  If they are up to elaborating, they will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to avoid is treating the child like he is ultra fragile.  There might be certain behaviors to avoid around him, which his parents will tell you about, but for the most part you can treat him like any other kid.  Play with him, talk to him, hold him.  With a 175 pound powered wheelchair and a two-year old temper in a seven year-old body, we're usually more concerned with our daughter accidentally hurting someone else than people accidentally hurting her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind that your friends are grieving for the loss of the healthy child they were expecting.  The emotions are not unlike grieving for the death of a loved one.  Keep that in mind if your friends seem a little irrational.  However, &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; treat them like their child died.  I know that's a subtle distinction, but you'd be surprised how many people still use their hushed &quot;funeral voice&quot; around us, and avoid making eye contact with our daughter.  They still have a child they love very much and who in some ways will be difficult, but in other ways be more of a joy than they could have previously imagined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just the fact that you are asking this question tells me you will be fine.  Don't be afraid to ask your friends how they would like you to handle certain situations.  My advice above is fairly typical from talking with other parents, but everyone is different.  I'm never offended by someone asking something like, &quot;Would you like some visitors while you're in the hospital, or do you prefer some time alone together to recuperate?&quot;  By all means, don't let not being sure how to approach a situation drive you to indecision and inaction.  It's always better to ask if you're not sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T02:04:50.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="901" CreationDate="2011-08-13T13:00:38.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A cool mist humidifier was very helpful for our son as well as sleeping in a non or minimally heated bedroom. Heat dries the air which dries the mucosal membranes of the nasal and sinus cavities which is the bodies air filtration system. If the mucosa is dry then it is unable to trap the airborne pathogens before they enter the lungs. The humidifier added more moisture to the air. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an adult I use essential oils (Rosemary or others) or Vicks salve under my nose to provide more moisture also. Of course, follow age recommendations/precautions for use of these products with children . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we learned to recognize the very first signs of his seasonal reactions (crusty film around nose or in corner of eyes or &quot;stuffiness&quot;) and gave OTC or prescribed allergy medications immediately and continued until symptoms were no longer present. Catching the problem in the very early stages resulted in fewer sicknesses requiring MD visits and a healthier, happier child. This vigilance was required until his early elementary school years when he &quot;outgrew&quot; most of his allergies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also learned the value of alternating his meds to maintain their effectiveness. We found 2 types (through trials and MD advice) that worked well and rotated from one to another thoughout the years.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T13:00:38.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2011-08-13T13:31:16.110" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a speech language pathologist I have worked with several children with Elective or Selective Mutism. From my experience, early intervention results in the best outcome. At age 12, her patterns are now strongly engrained and makes a difficult communication problem even more challenging. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From her non verbal responses, a more thorough understanding of the quality of her communication at home is needed to help determine if there are other communication/learning factors that are impacting her skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several children that I worked with would talk with siblings or close friends at school at least in a whisper. I began by grouping them together in a play environment (playground or in room with toys) while I sat nearby. I gradually and naturally over weeks added my brief attention or interaction to their activity. As acceptance increased, I began asking for their interaction first physically (such as giving me toys or complying with simple requests) and then advanced slowly but methodically to answering simple questions nonverbally. After the child was willing to verbally respond to me, another child was added to the group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each child is unique. My first child was in therapy for years before he ever talked with even his family, but finally progressed and graduated from school as a typical speaker. Other children made the transition to from non-speakers to appropriate school communicators in several months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developing age appropriate non verbal skills should be a primary focus even though the child does not speak. A very accepting, non-demanding and responsive environment is needed to support a child who chooses to not speak. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kudos for your concern and acceptance of this child!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T13:31:16.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="456" CreationDate="2011-08-13T16:01:35.217" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK there is a regulatory body called OFSTED that makes random inspections.  The reports from those inspections are available to the public.  They give a rough guide to how good the facility is, but you have to be aware that they are a snapshot from a single day.  If a bad centre is having a good day (or a good centre is having a bad day) the report will be skewed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have tight regulation for day care.  Things like staffing ratios and maximum numbers and qualifications and staff vetting are all covered by law.  The &quot;style&quot; of the place is also going to be driven by external factors.  Most day care places will sign up to EYFS (Early Years Foundation Stages; a national government &quot;statutory framework&quot; for schools and day care.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.gov.uk/childrenandyoungpeople/earlylearningandchildcare/delivery/education/a0068102/early-years-foundation-stage-eyfs&quot;&gt;http://www.education.gov.uk/childrenandyoungpeople/earlylearningandchildcare/delivery/education/a0068102/early-years-foundation-stage-eyfs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Price isn't much help when choosing either; partly because they're all very similar in cost, and partly because the English system has tax credits which can pay a large part of the cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the UK most of them are private businesses.  So you're left to have a look around and see which one has best decor, or which staff make a best first impression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short version:&#xA;I would look for&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Staff ratios (controlled by law)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;activities (guided by law)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;quality of staff&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;quality of buildings and outside activity areas (if available)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;quality of other facilities (sensory room; soft play room, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T16:01:35.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2256" CreationDate="2011-08-13T17:48:15.680" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK it is illegal to discriminate against women who wish to breastfeed.  So, if your wife was not shy about whipping them out in public she could go into any (open to public) business and feed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most places will have some kind of baby-changing room.  They sometimes have seats suitable for feeding.  As you can imagine, it's not the nicest place to feed a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T17:48:15.680" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2011-08-13T18:21:23.643" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is an ancient Windows game called XFIGURE.  You create 'crossword' puzzles, where the clues are simple sums, and the answers are digits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can configure the software to include different types of calculation - addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and some other stuff.  (How many seconds in 2 minutes? How many inches in 4 feet?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of all, you can then print the puzzle and clues out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a link:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sphipps.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.sphipps.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1792694/SPS-Downloads/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1792694/SPS-Downloads/index.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It works well with Wine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T18:21:23.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2011-08-13T20:04:59.783" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are links to a variety of math games that I suspect would be appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://thematicunits.theteacherscorner.net/math-games.php#activities&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://thematicunits.theteacherscorner.net/math-games.php#activities&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Scroll to the Games to Create section (below the online games) for details of various          math games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.superteacherworksheets.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.superteacherworksheets.com/&lt;/a&gt; Select a specific math worksheet on the left and optional games will appear for many of the skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of the games from each of these sites require some preparation, but the patterns are provided. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I commend you for your service!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T20:04:59.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2390" CreationDate="2011-08-13T21:39:06.283" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just found a funny one :) i am 15 myself, so i know this one will be good :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;WHO'S NEXT DOOR?&#xA;If you are in a traffic queue making up stories about the people in the car nearby can be funny for a short while ie what their names are, what they do for a job, what their hobbies are, what pets they have, what their house is like etc etc. This tends to only work well if somone in the car has a good imagination / sense of humour and can make up outrageous facts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope you like it =]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1436" LastActivityDate="2011-08-13T21:39:06.283" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="770" CreationDate="2011-08-14T12:10:39.767" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is another list that matches motor development with recommended foods until 12 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Foods should be introduced as a child's oral motor development is refined to safely manipulate that type of food in the mouth. Self-feeding skills correlates with the development of hand and finger movements for reaching, grasping, holding, and moving food and utensils effectively. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Matching food with motor skills is a useful strategy for introducing new types of food while providing developmentally appropriate practice in emerging motor skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-08-16T05:23:54.597" LastActivityDate="2011-08-16T05:23:54.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="753" CreationDate="2011-08-14T18:18:42.817" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband potty trained our son in a single weekend with only occasional accidents following the next few weeks using this strategy. It was time consuming but well worth the extra effort since I had been trying for several weeks with little progress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Push liquids all day offering them continuously throughout the day. No diaper or pull ups. Take to the potty every hour. Sit on the potty and read or tell a brief low key story while turning on the faucet to create a relaxing environment. Speak in a soft soothing voice to encourage relaxation of the body and bladder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reward child for sitting on potty - not just for peeing in it. The combination of a full bladder, frequent opportunity, relaxation and reward led to success. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, we waited to begin this process until he exhibited signs that he was ready. These included being dry when awake in mornings, alerting us as soon as he wet his diaper and requesting a change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter the outcome, remember, this too shall pass! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-14T18:18:42.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="770" CreationDate="2011-08-14T18:56:44.777" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a PDF from the British Dietetic Association (Paediatric Group)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bda.uk.com/publications/statements/PositionStatementWeaning.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.bda.uk.com/publications/statements/PositionStatementWeaning.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a quote from them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• Exclusive breastfeeding from birth until weaning is the optimal way to feed young infants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• Continuing breastfeeding throughout weaning may reduce the risk of coeliac disease, type 1 diabetes and wheat allergy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• Infants should all be considered individually as they develop at different rates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• The health departments in the UK recommend beginning weaning around 6 months. Recent evidence indicates that term infants should begin weaning by 6 months but not begin weaning before 4 months (17 weeks).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• Some current practice recommends avoiding certain high allergen foods before six months. However recent evidence indicates that potentially allergenic foods such as egg, fish, milk used in foods and cooking, cheese, yoghurt, wheat and other gluten containing cereals do not need to be delayed until a certain age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• Preterm infants need special consideration and 5 - 8 months after their actual birth date is likely to be the best time to begin weaning.  The majority may benefit &#xA;  from delaying until after 3 months after their estimated date of delivery (EDD) to allow sufficient motor development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the advice given to every new parent in England from the UK National Health Service&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Healthydietweaninghub.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Healthydietweaninghub.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-14T18:56:44.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="455" CreationDate="2011-08-15T01:15:03.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another strategy is to survey the nursing staff at the hospital asking who they use for their children. If they do not have children ask who they would recommend. Since they know work in the field, they probably know more about the reputation of the pediatricians. Often times, (at least in the hospitals that I work in) nurses are under utilized as resources and are willing even eager to share information with you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-15T01:15:03.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2586" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-15T03:04:14.320" Score="7" ViewCount="258" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son just turned 4 and I'm trying to figure out how much direction I should give while doing crafts.  He really enjoys to doing crafts but if I give him a specific 'project' to do (e.g. something out of a book) I end up doing most of the work b/c he gets frustrated.  If I let him do something on his own he enjoys it but it usually just Popsicle sticks taped to paper ... so I feel he might never get to the point where he will follow the direction of a project.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1441" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:34:30.767" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:34:30.767" Title="How much direction does a preschooler need while doing crafts?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2586" CreationDate="2011-08-15T13:41:36.747" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Directions are for cattle. :-) Providing a 4yo with a set of directions to follow isn't likely to work. I'd let him just stick popsicle sticks to paper for a couple of more years, and instead show how to do simple things that doesn't require a long chain of directions. Then he can copy what you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-08-16T15:02:11.283" LastActivityDate="2011-08-16T15:02:11.283" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2586" CreationDate="2011-08-15T13:44:23.510" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's getting frustrated, following directions in itself probably isn't the problem.  More likely, either you haven't provided a developmentally-appropriate level/type of direction, or you've chosen a project that is too much for him.  Even a toddler can follow directions if they are simple enough and if he is being directed to do something he can reasonably do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids learn from success more than failure, so here are some tips to create successful direction-following experiences, which will help increase his capacity for following directions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For preschoolers, the working attention span is usually 15-20 minutes at a go.  Your kid may vary, but whatever his attention span is, choosing a project longer than that will only set him up for failure. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Preschool children generally can't &quot;think forward&quot; a step yet.  If they need to know what step 3 will be in order to do step 2 correctly, the project is too hard.  Make sure your child only has to think about or know one step at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Actually give directions one step at a time.  Do not say &quot;do foo, then do bar&quot;.  Do say &quot;do foo&quot;, check that foo is correct and help with any needed fix, then say &quot;do bar&quot; and provide any needed help.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Chose activities with developmentally appropriate levels of complexity.  If you are having trouble with that, consult a book like &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0913589519&quot;&gt;Kids Create&lt;/a&gt; that offers projects on a wide variety of skill levels.  Start at the bottom with the three-year-old projects and work your way up as your child progresses.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do provide opportunities for unstructured experimentation.  Your child will learn a lot more about color by goofing around with a set of paints than by filling out color charts or doing a paint-by-number.  Both direction-following and free experimentation are essential to proper development.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-08-15T13:44:23.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2586" CreationDate="2011-08-15T13:45:00.747" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lead by example. Do your craft with him your way and let him do it his way. As his motor skills and patience develop, his crafts will get more elaborate and he might even mimic you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can teach him a technique here and there, e.g. folding/cutting/gluing/etc., but otherwise I'd leave it fairly unstructured for now. You'll be surprised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A personal tale: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I thought I'd be the best dad ever by dumping a pile of toothpicks and marshmallows on the table. The first try went poorly because I insisted on building crazy structures with my 2 and 3 yo. The next time though, I let them do whatever they wanted and did my own thing. Now, several times later, they're building stick figures, shapes, etc. (all on their own).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="426" LastActivityDate="2011-08-15T13:45:00.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2592" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-15T16:35:36.310" Score="27" ViewCount="170623" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Background:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Most insurance coverage in the US has separate policies and payroll withholding for health, dental, and vision insurance plans. One can typically decide who's covered independently for these plans (or pick and choose these plans from one spouse's employer to the other's). Coverage is usually either employee, employee+spouse, or employee+family (spouse and children).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One can also typically change these things after a life event (birth of a child, marriage, etc.) or annually during the enrollment period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;My wife and I had a daughter last month. We're obviously enrolling her on our health plan immediately. She doesn't yet have teeth and is too young for any vision correction (or even to know whether she'll need any), so it doesn't seem to make sense to include her on the dental or vision plans yet. At what point would it typically make sense to do so? Is there any compelling reason why she should be included on the plans now? We'd just be paying the higher family withholding without being able to take advantage of any of the services, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="864" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-07-05T14:30:08.907" LastActivityDate="2019-07-05T14:30:57.577" Title="At what age should I enroll my child in dental and vision plans?" Tags="|newborn|health|age-appropriate|teeth|eyes|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2592" CreationDate="2011-08-15T18:03:19.623" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Basically, enroll them slightly before their services are needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're right: There's no reason for her to have dental/vision coverage now when there's no way for it to be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, some plans have &quot;vesting&quot; times, where the individual must be covered for a particular length of time before being eligible for coverage by some portions of the plan.  (e.g. Must be covered for 2 years before eligible to have braces or dental surgery covered.)  Find out what these are, decide what your children are likely to need and enroll appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As HedgeMage so wisely &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2592/at-what-age-should-i-enroll-my-child-in-dental-and-vision-plans#comment3903_2593&quot;&gt;noted&lt;/a&gt;: What is &quot;medically needed&quot; and what is &quot;needed to do &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;X&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; may be 2 different things.  Some schools or organizations that you'd like to enroll your child into may require tests or screenings beyond common guidelines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, be mindful of those enrollment windows and don't miss them.  If you or your wife are at all forgetful in any way, the peace of mind might be worth the incremental cost.  I have a memory like a sieve -- getting it all in at once, even if the services were of no use at the time, would be better for me than forgetting to enroll them and have to pay out of pocket for services for a year (or possibly more, if anything other than routine visits were required and not covered).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addendum: If you have access to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flexible_spending_account&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Flexible Spending Account (FSA)&lt;/a&gt; at your workplace, enroll if you haven't already.  You'll be going to the doctors quite a few times for the first few years for both well-baby and sick-baby vists, and if you have co-pays on visits and prescriptions, they can be quite a chunk of change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-05T14:30:57.577" LastActivityDate="2019-07-05T14:30:57.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2594" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2598" CreationDate="2011-08-16T05:17:56.350" Score="5" ViewCount="888" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3yr old has been asking us to teach her how to read. She can recognize a decent amount of the alphabet, and picks stuff up pretty quickly (when she wants to.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have thought about picking some basic words and teaching sight reading, but we would rather go straight to phonetic reading. Is that possible, or should we stick to sight reading at this age? I have had people tell me (anecdotal at best) that it is a little more difficult for a kid to go from sight reading to phonetic. Is this true? Is there any good material to help out? &#xA;Is there any good material to help out? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1446" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T00:40:00.717" LastActivityDate="2019-07-14T12:18:27.203" Title="What material is available to teach a toddler how to read?" Tags="|toddler|teaching|reading|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2594" CreationDate="2011-08-16T10:46:33.737" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;English primary schools are expected to use &lt;em&gt;Synthetic Phonics&lt;/em&gt;.  There is also &lt;em&gt;Analytic Phonics&lt;/em&gt;.  With synthetic phonics children will learn the sounds of letters and letter groups, and then blend these sounds to make words.  With analytic phonics children will learn whole words and then break the words down into their sounds.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's some evidence that children taught with synthetic phonics have better reading outcomes; they learn to read a bit earlier, they have better comprehension, they are more advanced readers than children taught using other methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if you're in the UK, you could try the BBC tv programme &lt;em&gt;Alphablocks&lt;/em&gt; (not sure if you want a three year old to watch TV yet!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/alphablocks/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/alphablocks/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(May not work outside UK??)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-16T10:46:33.737" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2596" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-17T00:36:52.337" Score="6" ViewCount="3018" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are deciding on a name for our newborn son and wanted to get some feedback on whether &lt;em&gt;Ava and Evan&lt;/em&gt; are too close names for siblings, as it's a possible choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think these names are too similar?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the pros and cons of giving siblings similar-sounding names? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1450" LastEditorUserId="1450" LastEditDate="2011-08-17T18:50:18.613" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T00:44:22.007" Title="Are similar-sounding names a good choice for siblings?" Tags="|names|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-08-17T01:53:14.627" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Play some soft music or white noise&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It promotes relaxation and sleep. Whether it's the steady hum of a humidifier motor or a white noise generating machine the continuous monotonous sound blocks other unexpected or startling noises. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also stimulates prenatal &quot;memory&quot; of the cozy comfort of mom's heart beating or blood swishing by in the womb. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the light is switched off and the calming sounds begin, an auditory and visual &quot;curtain&quot; marks the transition from daytime activities to the inviting environment unique for sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T11:36:00.677" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T11:36:00.677" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-17T01:53:14.627" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2594" CreationDate="2011-08-17T03:26:53.437" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to teach a child to read is to read to them alot, which I'm guessing you already do.  With my kids, I would work on a different word every night when I'm reading them their bedtime story.  I'd pick a word that I thought would come up a lot in the book then spell it out and sound it out with them.  Then, every time we got to that word in the book, I would point to it and let them read it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's lots of other techniques you could use as well, this is just one that I liked doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2011-08-17T03:26:53.437" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2596" CreationDate="2011-08-17T06:18:42.863" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a twin, I deeply appreciate that my name is distinctly different from my twin's name. Here are some aspects that come to my mind. Choose similar-sounding names if you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; these aspects; avoid similar-sounding names if you don't:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pros of similar-sounding names&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can be easier to say quickly, i.e. they flow naturally from the tongue.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;emphasize that they belong together, they are a set, they are part of the same family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cons of similar-sounding names&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;risk of teasing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;risk of feeling less distinct, harder to define oneself without referring to the sibling.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I might add more bullets to either list when I think of more.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Writing this answer makes me think that we could also have &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/2600/109&quot;&gt;a question about general factors&lt;/a&gt; that could be considered when trying to come up with names for children -- but that's unrelated to this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-08-17T06:56:50.273" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2600" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2602" CreationDate="2011-08-17T06:54:21.167" Score="14" ViewCount="3225" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I thought of this question while writing an answer to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/2596/109&quot;&gt;this related question&lt;/a&gt;. I think it would be useful to compile some ideas:&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we were expecting our first child, we discovered how hard it can be to come up with a name that is really good. We had a list of criteria that were important to us, and perhaps we made it more difficult for ourselves than others would. We finally made a choice (and we're still happy with it) but I wonder if the community can provide some wisdom for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What aspects should parents consider regarding choice of name(s) for a child?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2023-06-25T18:33:13.827" Title="What aspects should we consider when choosing a name for our child?" Tags="|pregnancy|names|" AnswerCount="17" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-17T06:54:37.903" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2596" CreationDate="2011-08-17T14:26:29.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd propose to choose differently sounding names for siblings and especially for twins, as it can avoid confusion when you want to call one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E. g. in our son's playschool there are twins which are called Ozan and Rozan.&#xA;This is very cute, but IMHO it is confusing for other people (who is who?) and as the names sound extremely similar it is also difficult to clearly call one of both.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2011-08-17T14:26:29.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-08-17T15:52:41.363" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should have criteria as such, but maybe a list of things to think of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And here is mine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The name should be easy to pronounce, even in cultures where a second language is unusual, such as the US. This does tend to mean that English names have an edge there.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The name should contain A-Z only (or if you are using non-latin scripts, it should be easily transcribed into A-Z). Names such as Björk, Michał etc will confuse people no end.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the name ends on the same vowel/consonant as the last name starts on, it gets hard to know when one name stops and the other starts. Is it &quot;John Node&quot; or &quot;John Ode&quot;? &quot;Margret Rails&quot; or &quot;Margret Trails&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A good person with the same name (famous or in the family) is also a nice touch.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is hard to fulfill all of these in one name, so feel free to use more. I have three names, and so does my daughter. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-08-17T15:52:41.363" CommentCount="8" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-17T15:52:41.363" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2596" CreationDate="2011-08-17T15:57:45.460" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have mentioned, similar &lt;em&gt;sounding&lt;/em&gt; names can be confusing. But that doesn't mean you can't have similar/related names.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, a friend of mine called John had a sister called Jenny. There is no risk of confusion, but &quot;John and Jenny&quot; sounds good and you get the benefits mentioned by Torben.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So instead of similar sounding, I'd rather go for similar in alliteration or such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-08-17T15:57:45.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2594" CreationDate="2011-08-17T16:08:37.677" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't discount the importance of picture books. The best ones have few words with clear connections to the pictures, and have illustrations that are interesting enough for repeated read-throughs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading early isn't as important as a child learning their alphabet, and learning to decipher stories and timelines, or picking up colors and shapes. If a child is ready to read early, trust me, there's no force in the world that will keep them from doing so. If they aren't, you simply have to wait. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1454" LastActivityDate="2011-08-17T16:08:37.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2011-08-17T16:16:03.520" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm an adult who has never had Chicken Pox. I'm also vaccination-resistant, as I found out when I had my daughter, and discovered that not only was I now susceptible to chicken pox, but also to measles, mumps, rubella, and polio. While pregnant, I couldn't get any boosters, so I was dependent on crowd immunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child got chicken pox, and you weren't the parent that stayed home, you could get me sick just by bringing it in the office, or sitting next to me on the train. Not just a little sick, either: hospital sick. It could potentially kill me. It would have definitely harmed my unborn daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child would also, as someone stated above, be at risk for shingles, which could put them in the hospital, or kill them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's much, much, MUCH better for me if your child never, ever gets Chicken Pox, and it's better for them. Get them vaccinated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1454" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-01-20T18:44:43.883" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T18:44:43.883" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-08-17T20:27:50.837" Score="14" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nicknames&lt;/strong&gt; - people (especially in Australia) will always have their names reduced to the minimum number of syllables. Make sure you're happy with the shortened name as well as the full name. If your surname is Head, you probably do not want to call your son Richard.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pronouncability&lt;/strong&gt; is a big one. I wanted to call my daughter Jale (pronounced Ja-lair in Turkish) but in an English country, it would be pronounced as Jail.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fashion&lt;/strong&gt;. When my daughter was growing up, Olivia seemed to be the name of the day, now it is Audrey. Personally, I'd avoid any name on the top ten.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Alliteration&lt;/strong&gt; can be a consideration for some parents, they'd like to have their children's names starting with the same letter. This is not a criterion for me but we ended up there anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, you've got to like it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="1920" LastEditDate="2015-02-18T17:30:47.370" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T17:30:47.370" CommentCount="10" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-17T20:27:50.837" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2607" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-17T20:49:46.140" Score="11" ViewCount="1081" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've tried to find out whether or not TV-watching is harmful or not for a child's development but haven't really found any good sources. Any tips on studies etc highly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1457" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-28T15:33:13.490" LastActivityDate="2020-08-28T15:33:13.490" Title="Is there any consensus among researchers concerning the effects of watching television and the likes for a child's development?" Tags="|development|television|research|screen-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2607" CreationDate="2011-08-18T00:12:05.400" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure about a consensus, but here are links that summarize research on the effects of television on various aspects of child development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/26985.php&quot;&gt;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/26985.php&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The results reported here indicate &quot;negative associations between television viewing before age three years and adverse cognitive outcomes at ages six and seven years.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;By contrast, this analysis suggests that television viewing at ages three to five years has a more beneficial effect, at least for the outcomes of reading recognition and short-term memory. The researchers found no beneficial effect on mathematics outcomes or reading comprehension.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At &lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/09/27/the-debilitating-effects-of-tv-on-children/&quot;&gt;http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/09/27/the-debilitating-effects-of-tv-on-children/&lt;/a&gt; outcomes from 3 different sources are cited below. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Those who watched three or more hours a day were at even greater risk for “subsequent attention and learning difficulties,’’ and were the least likely to go to college.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;“Increased time spent watching television during childhood and adolescence was associated with a lower level of educational attainment by early adulthood.’’&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids who watch TV are more likely to smoke, to be overweight, to suffer from sleep difficulties, and to have high cholesterol.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T00:12:05.400" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1474" CreationDate="2011-08-18T01:37:43.967" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children with ear infections or fluid in the ears often are more &quot;clumsy&quot; than others. The hearing mechanism houses the semicircular canals that are so important for balance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ear infections are often called &quot;the silent illness&quot; because fluid can be present with no pain or other symptoms. So sometimes, poorer balance is the only indicator of a problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, abnormalities of the feet and legs can contribute to stumbling behavior. Toeing in and bowed legs are two examples.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T01:37:43.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-08-18T05:40:09.267" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being from India, our criteria was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How will it sound to international English speakers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will the initials &lt;em&gt;unitentionally&lt;/em&gt; turn out obscene i.e. stuff like BJ rejected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does it have a meaning with positive connotations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hearing the name, people should not be ambiguous if it's a boy or girl&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid celebrity names with controversy - as an example, post-Bill Clinton, Monica is a name parents avoid. Kids get teased.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1246" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T05:40:09.267" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-18T05:40:09.267" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2611" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2612" CreationDate="2011-08-18T06:22:35.173" Score="17" ViewCount="85881" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are brushing our (nearly) two-year-old's teeth with a normal, non-electric kids' toothbrush. That works well but I am wondering if it might not be more effective (and fun?) to use an electric brush, provided that I can buy bristles suitable for small children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll ask my dentist on my next visit, but that's not anytime soon. What are &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; experiences with electric toothbrushes? How soon can one start using them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update/clarification:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;My son is still too young to brush his own teeth -- he just chews on the toothbrush. So we do it for him, and I'd like to know if there's any argument against going electrical there.  I'm not disputing that an electric toothbrush probably makes things more fun for kids when they brush their own teeth, but we're not that far yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-25T07:26:43.787" LastActivityDate="2023-02-20T11:34:38.413" Title="When are kids old enough for an electric toothbrush?" Tags="|toddler|brushing-teeth|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2611" CreationDate="2011-08-18T11:45:18.497" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a speech language pathologist, I often treat children with oral motor, feeding and sensory integration disorders. For these children, I encourage caregivers to use the electric toothbrush to promote oral sensory awareness/development and provide intense stimulation to their central nervous system. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These children usually crave sensory input and they greatly enjoy both the electric toothbrush and other vibrating oral motor toys. This is often the first toothbrush that little ones can tolerate without gagging or rejecting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use vibrators in the mouth of children long before they get teeth, so there is no age limits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For very young children, I usually introduce the vibration by touching the handle playfully to a leg or arm briefly and removing. I continue this traveling up the arm to the cheek continuing to &quot;kiss&quot; the child with the device briefly. When the child shows no rejection, I prolong the touch and allow the child to hold and explore the device independently at will. I coach them to place the device in and around the mouth as needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A vibrating toothbrush has much more to offer young children than clean teeth and I support its use for even very young children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T11:45:18.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2607" CreationDate="2011-08-18T14:35:30.657" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of BabyCenter's bloggers has several entries about TV and children. Most of this information is starting to get quite old, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/television-disruptive-even-when-children-not-watching/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This post&lt;/a&gt; covers a &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2008.01180.x/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; about television in children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Leaving the television on as background while children are playing disrupts children’s development, even if the television is tuned to adult shows and the children do not understand, or are not interested in, the content. The background noise and distraction of parents’ TV-viewing disrupts play behavior and may negatively affect young children’s early cognitive development and ability to focus their attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's also &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/aap-guidelines-about-children-and-television/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;blogged about&lt;/a&gt; the American Academy of Pediatrics' TV watching guidelines. (The link she provides is dead now.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what the policy says: &amp;quot;While certain television programs may be promoted to this age group, research on early brain development shows that babies and toddlers have a critical need for direct interactions with parents and other significant care givers for healthy brain growth and the development of appropriate social, emotional, and cognitive skills.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The AAP statement on media education also suggests parents create an “electronic media-free” environment in children’s rooms, and avoid using media as an electronic babysitter. In addition, it recommends pediatricians incorporate questions about media into routine child health visits, as education can reduce harmful media effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The AAP also has &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/126/2/214.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;studies about television and videogame exposure&lt;/a&gt; and their effects on development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;RESULTS:&lt;/strong&gt; Exposure to television and video games was associated with greater attention problems. The association of television and video games to attention problems in the middle childhood sample remained significant when earlier attention problems and gender were statistically controlled. The associations of screen media and attention problems were similar across media type (television or video games) and age (middle childhood or late adolescent/early adult).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, Babycenter has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/why-you-dont-need-to-kill-your-tv/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;more recently blog post&lt;/a&gt; about this topic:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The real question is this. Is there anything intrinsically bad about watching TV? Does the very act of watching something on the tube cause harm? If you take a look at the published research, there seem to be two areas of concern:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watching TV at night can interfere with sleep. In addition to the obvious problems (e.g., kids having trouble falling asleep after a scary movie) there is also the problem of artificial lighting. Night time exposure to artificial light (from lamps, computer screens, and televisions) interferes with the production of melatonin, the hormone of drowsiness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some researchers wonder if fast edits—those quick camera angle shifts and abrupt changes of scene—can program young minds for short attention spans. It sounds plausible, but the jury is still out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, an experimental study presented kids with short films—some featuring fast edits, others slow edits. Afterwards, children were tested on their ability to pay attention. Researchers found differences, but the “fast edit” kids weren’t always at a disadvantage. Some kids actually performed better on the attention task after sitting through the fast edit films.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, as someone who currently loves TV and pretty much always has, I will say this much: it is up to parents to monitor what their kids are watching and how much of it they are. I was not allowed to watch SNL or any programs at 9pm until I was in middle school, and my afternoon television intake was limited to 3 hours in the summer and 2 hours during the school year. I also had to be in bed by a certain time, but I was allowed to read for an hour after that time. My parents kept an eye on the programs I watched (I watched a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of PBS, Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network. My younger sibling watched Disney Channel more than CN by comparison) and encouraged us to watch movies (complete stories) and read as much as we liked. I had more trips to the library than to the video rental place, and I checked out far more books and music than I ever did movies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents (and I, moreso than they) monitored my brother's videogame intake as well; we played racing games and RPGs until &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; of us were teenagers, and then the fighting and FPS games were introduced. I refused to let Aaron buy (or to be allowed to be coerced into buying for him) any rated M games until I knew he was mature enough and/or old enough to be able to understand that games are fantasy. But my childhood and today's childhood are really different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, I'm firmly of the belief -- one that I've heard parroted back at me by various edutainment personalities -- that parents need to be involved in their kids' media consumption. I never once thought that TV was &amp;quot;real&amp;quot; in the way that my daily interactions were, and my parents taught me that actions have consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And hey, I turned out all right -- I was G&amp;amp;T throughout primary and secondary school, took lots of AP classes, and graduated with an A- average from a top-ranked university business program. TV was &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; detrimental to my development. Well, no more so than wanting to watch it meant I didn't do my homework, haha.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T17:00:28.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2611" CreationDate="2011-08-18T14:53:13.217" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can start using them as soon as you think your kids will understand how to use them. There isn't anything inherently good or bad about using an electric toothbrush at any age as long as the child understands how to use it to get their mouth clean. That's the trick. What I like about the electrics is that you can get ones with timers so you can teach your kids how much time they should be spending on each quadrant of the mouth for optimal cleaning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also just get timers and teach them with a normal brush but that's not as much fun :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1015" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T14:53:13.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2388" CreationDate="2011-08-18T14:59:42.697" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When it comes to your kids the worse thing you can do is focus on their physical appearance, shape, or her stomach in this situation. You only need to care healthy diet, healthy eating habits, healthy snacks, and being active as much as possible. Everything else will take care of itself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember your building habits so make it normal for meals to be health and snacks to be health. Avoid soda, and sugary crap. Teach her to stop eating when she is full (none of this finish your plate crap) and to eat when she is hungry. Get her to drink water as the goto thing whenever she is thirsty. Make the sprite a special snack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&#xA;It's very normal and it will probably go away and I wouldn't worry about it personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1015" LastEditorUserId="1015" LastEditDate="2011-08-18T17:27:41.310" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T17:27:41.310" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2616" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2618" CreationDate="2011-08-18T17:12:34.667" Score="8" ViewCount="1566" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 month old son has started to talk.  He currently has a two-word vocabulary: &quot;uh-oh&quot;, and &quot;balloon&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He clearly understands the meaning of the word balloon, and uses it appropriately (his use of &quot;uh-oh&quot; is a little less consistent, but it is improving).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, his pronunciation of balloon is, well, bad.  Usually it sounds more like &quot;boon&quot;, although sometimes there is a buzzing &quot;raspberry&quot; sound to it (&quot;bzzoon&quot;), and sometimes it does sound like he's trying to extend &quot;boon&quot; to two syllables (it is hard to tell if there's an &quot;l&quot; sound in there or not, but it is the version that most clearly sounds like &quot;balloon&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that he is only 11 months, and he &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; started talking, I am not particularly worried that the mispronunciation indicates any problems.  It is my understanding that many, many toddlers come up with their own unique pronunciations of words they have difficulty with (and it is also how many people I know got their nicknames: younger siblings were unable to pronounce their names, and instead came up with unusual nicknames).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: should I put effort into trying to correct his pronunciation, or is it okay to simply accept that balloon==&quot;boon&quot; (or any of the other variations)?  Should I continue to use &quot;balloon&quot; myself, rather than mimic his mispronunciation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-20T12:03:35.153" LastActivityDate="2019-08-20T12:03:35.153" Title="How important is the pronunciation of an infant's first words?" Tags="|infant|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2616" CreationDate="2011-08-18T19:01:56.250" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should repeat his sentence but with the correct form of the word.  When he says &quot;A boon!&quot; you could say &quot;Yes, a balloon!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children learn by copying, and this way you're not criticising you're just joining in a conversation and having fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Yourchildsspeech.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Yourchildsspeech.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If your child is trying to make a word but gets it wrong, say the word properly. For example, if your baby points to a cat and says ‘Ca!’ say, ‘Yes, it’s a cat.’ Don’t criticise or tell them off for getting the word wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are somethings that may make speech harder for a child.  These can include long term dummy / pacifier use; late weaning; use of sippy cups; use of bottles when lying down (these last two can cause ear problems); as well as all the other stuff like tongue-tie (which should be treated early when it's a really minor procedure) or deafness or other developmental problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T19:01:56.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2616" CreationDate="2011-08-18T23:41:57.990" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Boon&quot; is very acceptable for balloon at 11 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides the medial /l/sound being one of the later developing sounds (until around age 7 is acceptable) a child with a 2 word vocabulary has not yet mastered the concept of syllables. Reduplicated syllables such as mama, dada, bye-bye, night-night are often their first successful 2 syllable words. Their next step usually varies the second syllable a bit more (bubbles, baby) before mastering more difficult syllable combinations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;DO NOT adopt his speech patterns. Use the correct pronunciation to develop his auditory discrimination skills even when his oral motor skills cannot match yours. So, accept his approximation, model the words correctly and continue to celebrate those exciting first words!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-18T23:41:57.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="49" CreationDate="2011-08-19T00:14:53.877" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes! Research does indicate that hearing children who learn sign language talk more than their same-age peers. Here is a resource for the study.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://deafness.about.com/od/babysigning/f/signspeech.htm&quot;&gt;http://deafness.about.com/od/babysigning/f/signspeech.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The study involved 103 11-month-old hearing babies. The babies were&#xA;  divided between a group learning sign language, and a group that did&#xA;  not learn sign language. By the time the signing babies were two years&#xA;  old, they were talking more than the average two year old. At three&#xA;  years old, the signing babies were talking more than the average three&#xA;  year old. By age eight, the signing babies scored higher on IQ tests&#xA;  than the non signing babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a speech language pathologist, I also promote the use of sign language for children with severe communication deficits. It is also an effective strategy for teaching color identification and sight words to children who struggle with these concepts initially. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-11T01:22:47.087" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T01:22:47.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2620" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-19T02:05:57.353" Score="3" ViewCount="3693" Body="&lt;p&gt;My fiancee and I just had our child yesterday, August 17th. This is her second child, and my first. With her first pregnancy, anytime she tried to feed her daughter, she got very strange pain throughout her body. She describes it as &quot;full body restless leg syndrome.&quot; We were hoping it was circumstantial, but she's having the same pains again with our child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of me is thinking that this is just a large influx of hormones rushing through her body, but we can't find anything about it to lead us in the right direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1465" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-19T05:19:30.963" LastActivityDate="2011-08-21T22:04:18.907" Title="What could be causing this unusual pain during breast feeding?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2620" CreationDate="2011-08-19T05:24:33.857" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations with the baby!! And welcome to the site!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am no lactation expert but it sounds as if the breastfeeding triggers some unusual nerve reactions. Talk to a midwife if you have one (otherwise a pediatrician), and ask for recommendations for lactation specialists - it's likely that both of them have heard of this before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/web/texas.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;look for a local &lt;em&gt;La Leche League&lt;/em&gt; group&lt;/a&gt; and you might find related answers on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/nb.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;their website&lt;/a&gt; (although my quick search didn't find anything).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-19T06:18:22.040" LastActivityDate="2011-08-19T06:18:22.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-08-19T09:05:14.880" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a list of the aspects that we used:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must be easily pronounceable in the languages we use.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(Specifically for us, this means Danish, German, and English.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must not have special characters like Jürgen or Søren.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(This makes it easier to use emails/websites and other international systems.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must be possible to spell it correctly after hearing it once.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must be spellable only one way, e.g. &lt;em&gt;Robert&lt;/em&gt; rather than &lt;em&gt;Christopher/Kristoffer&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must go well with the last name, and not end with the same sound that the last name starts with.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must be a generally known name, to avoid having to explain how to spell and pronounce it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must be universally recognizable as belonging to the correct gender, unlike e.g. &lt;em&gt;Andrea&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(I hate when people get my gender wrong in written correspondence.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must not be an obviously Christian name, e.g. &lt;em&gt;Christian&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should be a relatively short name, because our last name is so long already.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should not be overly popular, e.g. to avoid him being the &lt;em&gt;fifth&lt;/em&gt; &quot;Leon&quot; in his kindergarten class.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should not have age-specific connotations,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;e.g. a name that's cute as a kid but too odd later in life; or good for adults but odd for a kid.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should not be an obvious reason for teasing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A Scandinavian name would be nice, if it doesn't conflict with any of the above.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After many ideas and thoughts, we finally chose &quot;Daniel&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;edit:&lt;/em&gt; three years later, &quot;Martin&quot; came along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2016-09-28T20:21:58.007" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T20:21:58.007" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-19T09:05:14.880" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-08-19T12:27:46.467" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good list of topics already presented, and we did some of these, but two I see missing which was a concern for us was meaning and associations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although my wife didn't mind about the name so much since English is not her native language I wanted a name that reflected on someone in my family that made a contribution - our oldest was named Patrick after my Grandfather.  My son also has a Chinese name which she uses, so the English name was of shorter consequence to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our second son we went through many names, and my wife's consulting factors in that name were that we did not know anyone with the name - and anyone we might have known was someone we liked.  She considered it bad luck that the name was associated with anyone we did not like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2011-08-22T12:07:54.270" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T12:07:54.270" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-08-19T12:27:46.467" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2620" CreationDate="2011-08-19T14:11:59.337" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;How did she rectify the problem in the first pregnancy? Did the pain eventually go away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding was extremely painful for me for the first couple of weeks. This was a surprise to me because everywhere you read, you see &quot;breastfeeding should not be painful.&quot; But it is. The first couple of weeks, your breasts are getting ready to the excessive stimulation. I use to curl my toes each time the little one used to latch on. It just lasts a couple of weeks - at max - so not too bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is feeling &quot;full body restless leg syndrome&quot; it is probably because her utereus is shrinking. Breastfeeding assists in shrinking the uterus - so it is &lt;strong&gt;very normal to feel &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_postpartum-cramps-afterpains_11723.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;menstrual like cramps&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; all over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding can bring on these cramps or make them more intense&#xA;  because your baby's sucking triggers the release of the hormone&#xA;  oxytocin, which in turn causes contractions. (Try to see that as a&#xA;  good thing – these contractions usually help reduce postpartum blood&#xA;  loss, which is why your body produces them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-08-19T14:11:59.337" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="452" CreationDate="2011-08-20T01:46:54.987" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rhythm is the outcome of synchronized movements. Therefore, rhythm emerges as the body's movements become more refined. Any opportunity for a child to integrate timing of motor movement with balance and motor responses support the development of rhythm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bouncing on a ball, swinging in a parents arms, clapping hands, swinging arms, stomping feet, beating objects, and sliding movements all incorporate movement of muscles in a pattern and are great practice for developing rhythm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child's whole body experiences movement such as bouncing on a ball or parent's knee, jumping in place, or swinging in a parent's arms a sense of timing develops. Other activities such as swinging arms or scarves, clapping hands, bobbing head or stomping feet target specific muscle groups. The highest demand of motor movement would include manipulating an object and refined movement of the fingers and hands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Slow deliberate movements provide the greatest sensory stimulation. Short bursts of movement repeated in a simple 1-2-3 pattern increase the awareness of pauses which is such an important part of rhythm. Having a child to imitate a simple pattern as modeled is a good place to begin. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, sit on the floor on your knees with an exercise ball placed between you and your standing toddler. Pound the ball with both arms in a steady 1-2-3 pattern and then assist your child in imitating the behavior. After the child can independently imitate your pattern, change the rhythm to one long beat and 2 shorter ones or some other combination. Continue the process until your child can match your patterns consistently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beginning with both arms is important because bilateral movement precedes unilateral movement developmentally. Continue these fun practices with various objects progressing bilateral to unilateral movements then on to alternating right and left sides of body. Use of objects or musical instruments can be introduced in the same sequence from bilateral movements to unilateral then more refined asymmetrical movements. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having fun in developmentally appropriate rhythmical play will equip your child to maximize their musical skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-20T01:46:54.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2626" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2548" CreationDate="2011-08-20T03:27:35.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Google Scholar is a good place to find references to the primary scientific literature, eg. see the results of a search &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=comparison+of+infant+formula&amp;amp;btnG=Search&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=0%2C14&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;comparison of infant formula&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was surprised to find that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/search.htm?query=infant+formula&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Consumer Reports has no articles comparing formulas&lt;/a&gt;, although there were a few discussing melamine and BPA in formulas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="48" LastEditDate="2011-08-20T03:35:42.213" LastActivityDate="2011-08-20T03:35:42.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="90" CreationDate="2011-08-20T05:22:45.717" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may want to explore the following: Neocate, Elecare, Nutramigen, Nestle Good Start, Alimentum, and goat's milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have seen children who have been on several of these by physician's order due to various health/feeding issues. Most are formulated to promote digestion, reduce reflux, and prevent allergic reactions. Most are pricey. Some children appear to reject their taste while others thrive on them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps one would meet your requirements. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-20T05:22:45.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2628" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2629" CreationDate="2011-08-20T11:23:28.370" Score="12" ViewCount="12249" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been looking at lots of different nurseries (day care) for my one year old child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of them are proud to offer something they call &lt;em&gt;&quot;heuristic play&quot;&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is heuristic play?  Why is it so popular in the UK at the moment?  What research supports the use of heuristic play?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2019-11-12T21:11:14.107" Title="What is Heuristic play?" Tags="|toddler|infant|pre-schooler|play-time|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2628" CreationDate="2011-08-20T14:08:53.510" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.southfailsworth.oldham.sch.uk/page14/page25/page57/page57.html&quot;&gt;this primary school's website&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;em&gt;heuristic play&lt;/em&gt; is defined as the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Heuristic play actively encourages exploration by using and developing children's senses. Children instinctively investigate objects that interest them, making discoveries through taste, touch, smell, sound and how they look. During the activity children explore different materials and objects without adult interference. The role of the adult is to support the children, collect objects, set out the activity and to observe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.communityplaythings.co.uk/resources/articles/heuristic-play.html&quot;&gt;Another site&lt;/a&gt; defines heuristic play based on the seminal work that gave this philosophy its name:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In their book, &lt;em&gt;People Under Three&lt;/em&gt;, Elinor Goldschmied and Sonia Jackson coined the term &lt;em&gt;heuristic play&lt;/em&gt;, to explain how to provide a more structured opportunity for this kind of activity. Heuristic play ‘consists of offering a group of children, for a defined period of time in a controlled environment, a large number of different kinds of objects and receptacles with which they play freely without adult intervention’. It is particularly useful for children in their second year who often seem unwilling to engage in any activity for more than a few minutes. According to the Oxford Dictionary, ‘heuristic’ means helping to find out or discover; proceeding by trial and error. It stems from the same root as Eureka – ‘I found it!’ Clare Crowther of Bridgwater College describes heuristic play as ‘an activity we use with one-year-olds, two-year-olds, and young threes, giving them the opportunity to experiment spontaneously with a wide range of non-commercial objects. Whilst the heuristic play session is in process, adults need to remain seated and quiet. This supports children in making their own choices and discoveries.’ &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.littleacornstomightyoaks.co.uk/Articles/Heuristic_play&quot;&gt;this early childhood expert&lt;/a&gt; wrote an article that BabyCentre.co.uk linked to. Actually, BabyCentre.co.uk has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/search?cx=partner-pub-2748970240774480%3Augsf8a6lzhz&amp;amp;cof=FORID%3A9&amp;amp;ie=ISO-8859-1&amp;amp;safe=off&amp;amp;q=%22heuristic+play%22&quot;&gt;a ton of results&lt;/a&gt; from parents (read: moms) who've tried this and really enjoyed it, as well as felt their kids love it a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for why it's so popular: probably a combination of two things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Engaging in heuristic play is fairly inexpensive. Basically, you use household items in creative ways. Given the last five or so years' economic performances, a back-to-basics approach is unsurprising. Parents also have more control over the &quot;toys,&quot; as they can have natural wood or plastics that are food-grade rather than potentially sketchy toys made in countries with less stringent health and safety guidelines for children's clothes/toys or the paint/sealants that go on said objects.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is probably the more important: parents love watching their children &lt;em&gt;discover&lt;/em&gt;, which is inherently what heuristic play / treasure baskets encourage. No parent I know doesn't completely light up when they tell stories about their babies first stacking blocks or using pots and pans and stirring spoons for an impromptu drumming jam session. It appeals to our (read: adults') own sense of wonderment that their kids have such wonderment of their own. But that's just my humble opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastActivityDate="2011-08-20T14:08:53.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1432" CreationDate="2011-08-20T15:59:08.433" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This list of features from Consumer Reports is helpful: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/babies-kids/baby-toddler/baby-monitors/baby-monitor-buying-advice/baby-monitor-features/baby-monitor-features.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a link&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prefer a video monitor because it means that a baby does not need to cry to get the attention of parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents of more than one baby/toddler should consider a system that they can add on a 2nd camera to. And it is helpful if that camera can be remotely controlled since babies more a lot in their sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Range is another important consideration. Do you want to be able to take the monitor to the backyard? Down into the basement? Or do you live on a single floor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are audio monitors that will not transmit the base level of noise. It's helpful to play white noise for babies, but then you will always have noise coming through your monitor unless you get a monitor that will not transmit that base level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many new parents find the sensor pads that come with some monitors (Angel Care) an important piece of mind. It might be irrational, but there are times in those early weeks that you'll wonder if your baby is still breathing, and then wake baby up trying to check. Having a sensor pad would help if you're prone to worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1463" LastActivityDate="2011-08-20T15:59:08.433" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2329" CreationDate="2011-08-20T16:16:00.167" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Swaddling can happen for as long as it's helpful to the baby. When it's time to wean from the swaddle, you can try swaddling one arm out/one arm in for a week. And then just swaddle around the torso with both arms out until baby seems ready to be in just a sleep sack. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is helpful to try changes in a sleep routine for 3 nights. If there is no sign of improvement after 3 nights, then it probably isn't time for that change and you could wait a few more weeks before trying it again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the sleep sacks, one time to stop is during potty training so the toddler can get up at night on their own. There are sleep sacks that are made from a heavy, duvet like material. Some babies who loved to be swaddled like these heavier sleep sacks because of the weight. Of course the temperature of the room should be compatible with the weight of the sleep sack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1463" LastActivityDate="2011-08-20T16:16:00.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="90" CreationDate="2011-08-21T12:23:44.957" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This doesn't directly answer the question, sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aptamil make a milk suitable for babies with an allergy to milk protein:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aptamil.co.uk/products/article/aptamil-pepti?tr=carousel&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.aptamil.co.uk/products/article/aptamil-pepti?tr=carousel&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it is, however, cows milk based.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Aptamil Pepti 1 is suitable for use from birth and should be used under medical supervision. It is a food for special medical purposes for the dietary management of cows’ milk protein allergy and has been specifically developed for bottlefed babies. Aptamil Pepti 1 contains the same unique blend of GOS/FOS prebiotics as our other milks but it is an extensively hydrolysed formula, which means the cows’ milk protein has been broken down, making it easier for babies to tolerate and digest&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or for a lactose intolerant baby there is SMA Lactose Free formula:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.smanutrition.co.uk/sma-products/lactose-free-infant-milk/lactose-free-infant-milk/product-626.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.smanutrition.co.uk/sma-products/lactose-free-infant-milk/lactose-free-infant-milk/product-626.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, this is treated cows milk, and it's only for lactose intolerance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;SMA LF is not suitable for those who are allergic to cows’ milk protein, or who suffer from galactosaemia or require a galactose free diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-21T12:23:44.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2633" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-21T13:08:51.337" Score="3" ViewCount="201" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are going to buy autumn clothes for our child (4y). There are so many technologies (waterproof,etc) and options available today that we are having a hard time choosing from the options. What are the most important features, and what are the least important features? Are there some outfits that would be good for both autumn and winter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that weather can vary by region, but here the weather tends to be quite rainy during autumn, and cold during winter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1414" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-22T16:24:27.440" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T16:24:27.440" Title="How to choose  rainy weather clothes for multiple seasons?" Tags="|shopping|clothes|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2011-08-21T14:56:40.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not medical advice; I have no medical training; if in doubt see a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a nice bit of advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Childhoodillnesshub.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Childhoodillnesshub.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When it comes to your child's health, it's always better to be safe than sorry. If you are ever in doubt about your child's health, talk to a health professional. Serious childhood illnesses are extremely rare. But, if you think your child might be affected, always trust your instincts and get medical help straight away.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's their advice about recognising serious illness:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The following symptoms should always be treated as serious:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;a high-pitched, weak or continuous cry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;a lack of responsiveness, reduction in activity or increased floppiness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;in babies, a bulging fontanelle (the soft spot on a baby's head)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;neck stiffness (in a child)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;not drinking for more than eight hours (taking solid food is not as important)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;a temperature of over 38°C for a baby less than three months old, or over 39°C for a * baby aged three to six months old&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;a high temperature, but cold feet and hands&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;a high temperature coupled with quietness and listlessness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;fits, convulsions or seizures&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;turning blue, very pale, mottled or ashen&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;difficulty breathing, fast breathing, grunting while breathing, or if your child is working hard to breathe, for example, sucking their stomach in under their ribs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;your baby or child is unusually drowsy, hard to wake up or doesn’t seem to know you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;your child is unable to stay awake even when you wake them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;a spotty, purple-red rash anywhere on the body. (This could be a sign of meningitis)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;repeated vomiting or bile-stained (green) vomiting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For temperatures:-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Treatinghightemp.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Treatinghightemp.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you're worried speak to your GP or call NHS Direct on 0845 4647. If the surgery is closed, contact your GP out-of-hours service. If you're still concerned, or if your GP or out-of-hours service can’t come quickly enough, take your child straight to the Accident and Emergency (A&amp;amp;E) department of your nearest hospital.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Always contact your GP, health visitor, practice nurse or nurse practitioner if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;your child has other signs of illness as well as a raised temperature&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;your baby’s temperature is 38°C (101°F) or higher (if they’re under three months), or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;your baby’s temperature is 39°C (102°F) or higher (if they’re three to six months)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention concern about being seen as a hypochondriac parent: Please, medical staff prefer worried parents to call or visit rather than delay.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-21T14:56:40.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2620" CreationDate="2011-08-21T22:04:18.907" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not a health professional, but I can talk about my own experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pain symptom you described is not what exactly my wife went through, but in our case the baby has a special &lt;strong&gt;tongue anatomy&lt;/strong&gt; that caused excessive breastfeeding pain. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tonguetie.net/index.php?option=com_content&amp;amp;task=view&amp;amp;id=10&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tongue Tie&lt;/a&gt;. The pediatrician only noticed after my wife suffered from breastfeeding pain for many months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby is 5 months old now and it doesn't hurt her anymore, otherwise the pediatrician said he could cut it, or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that helps. And don't forget to go to the doctor or midwife to talk about this :-).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1472" LastActivityDate="2011-08-21T22:04:18.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1830" CreationDate="2011-08-21T22:44:20.573" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crib usage is not universal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're Montessori parents, most of the time, and this is our baby's room, without a crib. We've been trying it as an experiment and things are working pretty well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mattress is very low and there's a cushioned surface below it. Even when he falls, and he did a few times, it's still fine. He &lt;strong&gt;doesn't even wake up after falling&lt;/strong&gt;. It's quite a funny scene to get to the room and seeing him sleeping in the play mat. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, he slept in the crib for 3 months after birth. Then we moved him to his own bedroom and out of the crib. He's 5 months old now and seems to quite like it. The crib can also be a bit dangerous when he grows up and tries to climb it. Most importantly, if our boy could speak I think he would say he prefers to sleep this way. Wouldn't you? :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/itXsf.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;No crib, just mattress!&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1472" LastEditorUserId="1472" LastEditDate="2011-08-22T21:54:20.183" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T21:54:20.183" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2633" CreationDate="2011-08-22T06:41:01.720" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've often heard the advice to &lt;strong&gt;dress like an onion:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've learned from sports clothing that it's practical to wear several layers of relatively thin clothing, so that you can peel off layers according to the temperature. Here's an example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Undergarments should be able to transport moisture away from the skin; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;then have a layer of e.g. cotton clothing to absorb the moisture; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;optionally have another layer of cotton or fleece to keep warm; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and finally a layer that is wind-proof and also (if needed) waterproof.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thin garments are easily folded away and don't take up much room. I like this layering technique much more than the alternative: a really thick and heavy sweater that forces you to choose between too-hot and too-cold, and is difficult to stow away when not needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Socks are the exception to the onion rule; to avoid blisters etc., socks should not be worn in layers. Use just one pair of socks that is thick enough for the weather. Bring another, thinner, pair of socks for use when the weather improves or you go back inside (e.g. at a friend's place).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For children that are playing outside in the winter, make sure that the outermost layer is &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; waterproof. Seams should be taped (this doesn't mean household tape you apply yourself, but is a feature of the fabrication), and two-piece clothing (jacket and pants) should have lots of overlap so that the foul weather doesn't creep in under the jacket's lower edge and up the child's back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shoes and gloves should be equally waterproof -- and why not bring a spare set of gloves to use when the first set invariably does get soaked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T06:41:01.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2638" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2683" CreationDate="2011-08-22T15:35:46.657" Score="12" ViewCount="5090" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5-year-old has trouble going to sleep at night.  If we put her to bed at 8, she might not fall asleep until 10 or 11, then sleep in until 9 the next day.  She'll lay in bed and try to go to sleep, but I think she tries too hard and doesn't know how to relax herself.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been trying to give her strategies that have worked for me, which mostly involve imagining relaxing scenarios like flying through clouds or walking along a path full of trees.  She claims to try these, but I wonder if there is a better way to get her to relax.  Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1475" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-23T12:17:02.773" LastActivityDate="2021-06-30T21:26:10.397" Title="How can I help my pre-schooler to relax and fall asleep?" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-22T16:00:58.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some techniques that I found helpful.  They should be easy enough for a child to do, or are adaptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.umm.edu/sleep/relax_tech.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.umm.edu/sleep/relax_tech.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Toe Tensing&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This one may seem like a bit of a contradiction to the previous one, but by alternately tensing and relaxing your toes, you actually draw tension from the rest of the body. Try it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Lie on your back, close your eyes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Sense your toes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Now pull all 10 toes back toward your face.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Count to 10 slowly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Now relax your toes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Count to 10 slowly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Now repeat the above cycle 10 times.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's another link with some more in-depth information about sleep&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/summer01/sleep.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/summer01/sleep.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T16:00:58.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-22T18:30:05.247" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Basically, she has to learn her own ways to relax in bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The preceding bed-time rituals vary between families but usually include dinner, a bath, brushing teeth and a story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a kid keeps getting out of bed then one strategy that works well with one of our kids is basically to keep returning him or her to bed gently but firmly without making a fuss or talking. This is usually tough for the parents because in the first days it requires several rounds over the better part of an hour and may involve crying. But in just a few days the situation can improve dramatically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1476" LastEditorUserId="1476" LastEditDate="2011-08-28T19:10:24.200" LastActivityDate="2011-08-28T19:10:24.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2641" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2643" CreationDate="2011-08-22T18:32:27.570" Score="4" ViewCount="22432" Body="&lt;p&gt;During my son's last pediatrician visit, we found that he has a 20/40 vision, and that he may need glasses (which was enough for him to voluntarily reduce his TV time). Our pediatrician insisted that it is common for kids of that age, and that it might go away, and that there is no need for glasses right now; however, I am skeptical about her diagnosis/prognosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was wondering if any other parents have faced this, and their pediatricians have suggested the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; It has been four years since this question. My son now wears glasses full-time, as his vision has deteriorated. Apparently during puberty the vision gets worse. Also, there are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26030845&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;quite a few studies&lt;/a&gt; that link myopia to lack of exposure to bright sunlight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1046" LastEditorUserId="1046" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T20:07:26.417" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T20:07:26.417" Title="Is poor (20/40) eyesight common in 10 year olds?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2642" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-22T19:02:46.437" Score="15" ViewCount="513" Body="&lt;p&gt;Early starts at distant work make for alarm clocks and morning rush in our house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 4 year old child and two adults have around an hour to get washed, dressed and fed to leave at 7am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To my son there is no motive or reason to get ready in the morning - he claims not to be bothered by kindergarten, and doesn't appreciate the time pressure his parents feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a rule, he will not dress himself, finds endless distractions, and generally tests his ability to say no (&quot;get your clothes on, we have to go&quot;:&quot;No&quot;/&quot;What are you going to put on first, pants or vest?&quot;:&quot;Neither&quot;), make noise and aggravate his parents. Normally this behaviour would put him on the naughty step for 4 minutes - this is the one thing we don't wish to do in the mornings as it makes us even later!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I&quot;d like to hear &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;tips/suggestions&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;experiences&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; as to how you make a four-year old hurry up in the morning.*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure my question was clear, so feel free to ask for clarification&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Obviously I'm aiming to avoid a shouting match/raising blood pressure/having to wake up even earlier - long working hours puts us all to bed later than we'd like, so I'd like to adapt the patterns we use in the family to ensure we all leave for work/kindergarten less flustered and on time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1158" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-23T12:17:40.107" LastActivityDate="2014-01-23T05:43:16.223" Title="What techniques can keep a reluctant pre-schooler on a morning schedule?" Tags="|pre-schooler|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2641" CreationDate="2011-08-22T19:04:30.897" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/eyes/vision_facts_myths.html#cat192&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this site&lt;/a&gt;, your child's eyes can/will change throughout their growth stages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fact:&lt;/strong&gt; The eye is NOT full size at birth but continues to grow with your child. This growth partially accounts for refractive (glasses) changes that occur during childhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, glasses are not inherently detrimental to their ocular development: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fact:&lt;/strong&gt; Refractive errors (near-sightedness, far-sightedness, or astigmatism) change as kids get older. Many variables come into play, but most of this change is likely due to genetics and continues despite wearing glasses earlier or later or more or less. Wearing glasses does not make the eyes get worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, 20/40 was my vision at that same age. But, and this is worth noting, I had/have astigmatism, and at the time I still had a lazy eye. (The lazy eye was surgically corrected right before I turned thirteen.) I have worn glasses since I was five, but my vision without my glasses is fuzzy but not &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Velma_Dinkley&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Velma Dinkley&lt;/a&gt; bad. My brother, on the other hand, has had his vision deteriorate over time, but it seems to have stabilized now. Mine actually improved in my later teen years, after my surgery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my parents wears glasses, the other needs reading glasses. My paternal grandmother had glaucoma, and my maternal family is susceptible to diabetes. All of these are factors in vision and vision development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T19:04:30.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2642" CreationDate="2011-08-22T19:37:27.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make it fun&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Turning activities into games can sometimes help provide that motivation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The easiest game is to make it a race, but that's probably a bad idea for a number of morning rituals (eating breakfast, brushing teeth, etc.).  It might be an option for getting dressed, though (e.g. &quot;Little boys who don't get dressed fast enough get tickled!&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can use the rest of the family's routine as check points to prompt your son.  You can also use timers to help remind him of the pace.  If you normally take 10 minutes to shave, brush your teeth, floss, etc. after getting out of the shower, set an 8 minute timer to give your son a 2 minute warning to prepare for the next step.  If you help him put on his shoes once you're done with your ablutions, the timer reminds him that he needs to have his socks on before you get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you give him a choice, and he does not choose an acceptable option (&quot;What are you going to put on first, pants or vest?&quot;:&quot;Neither&quot;) make the choice for him, and then quickly move on to the next topic (&quot;okay, we'll put on your vest first.  What would you like for breakfast today?&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest point, however, is to find a pattern that works, and then make it a routine.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T19:37:27.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2642" CreationDate="2011-08-22T19:43:58.603" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be strict&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, make sure you go trough the steps of getting ready everyday in the same order. Punish him for 4 minutes if you have to a couple of times. Get out of bed 4/8 minutes earlier then normal for this and explain to him why you're hurrying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he has to hurry on the weekends as well at least till he is fast/compliant enough.&#xA;Make sure the kid gets enough sleep every night and enough attention during the day so that the morning period is not his way of 'getting' attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="111" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T19:43:58.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2642" CreationDate="2011-08-22T21:52:44.450" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The idea here is not to teach him to do what you tell him the first time .. that gets old fast, for both of you. The idea is to teach him to do what needs to be done without having to be told. He is old enough for that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, &lt;strong&gt;rise early enough that the morning routine is not hurried.&lt;/strong&gt; Suck it up. As it is now, you are setting yourselves up to fail.  The kid is 4 ... some dawdling is to be expected, as is opposition and testing of boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, prepare &lt;strong&gt;with him&lt;/strong&gt; before bed in the evening for the next morning. Tidy his room, lay out his clothing, place his brush/comb and toothbrush on the bathroom counter. Get his school bag packed and place it by the door. Do the same for yourself. Then in the morning, he has a &quot;roadmap&quot; for what needs to be done, and should be able to do it with minimal nagging from the parents.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he makes progress, reward it. Perhaps he gets to pick the music in the car. Or perhaps he get 15 minutes of watching the boob tube. Perhaps he gets to choose breakfast. Just something to let him feel rewarded. Over a few months he will work through the whole morning routine, and it will be habit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, some general advice ... when being difficult becomes defiance, it must be dealt with as defiance. Respond to it immediately and harshly. The boy is not dumb .. he has probably figured out that you won't discipline in the morning, and is taking advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-22T21:52:44.450" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-23T04:22:26.560" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some children just don't seem to be able to shut off the brain.  Ours has this problem and we've found that a backrub for a few minutes seems to help him relax his body enough to fall asleep sooner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the toe tensing exercise mention in another post is also very good for similar reasons- the technique is called &quot;progressive relaxation&quot; and there are several scripts online that are adapted for children.  It works great for parents too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1429" LastActivityDate="2011-08-23T04:22:26.560" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2648" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2652" CreationDate="2011-08-23T06:44:03.587" Score="6" ViewCount="53532" Body="&lt;p&gt;The myth in our neck of the woods goes that it makes the lip bulge out and reduces chin size.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how true it is, but the only time our 3 month old doesn't bite his lip is when he's chewing his fingers. We accept that as the lesser evil. He doesn't have a pacifier yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gave up this behaviour by 6 months or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1246" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-14T12:12:48.100" LastActivityDate="2019-05-14T12:12:48.100" Title="How can I get my infant to stop biting his lower lip?" Tags="|infant|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2648" CreationDate="2011-08-23T12:31:44.980" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't scientifically debunk the myth you mention, but I've never heard of it and I don't think it's true. &#xA;Keep in mind that the most sensitive part of an infant's skin is the mouth. Later on the fingers develop sensitivity too, but this early the mouth is the primary stimulation point a baby has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if he's not using a pacifier (and assuming you feel that a pacifier is not worse than biting the lip) then try to introduce a pacifier and see what happens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also offer various teething toys, even if he's not actually teething yet. This assumes that he has developed enough motor control to hold a toy and move it where he wants it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-23T12:31:44.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2641" CreationDate="2011-08-23T17:12:11.003" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think 20/40 is about what I when I was a kid (maybe slightly worse), and my first year I ended up in the back of the class, and couldn't see what my teacher wrote on the blackboard. Neither did I have any idea that the moon kinda looked like a face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pediatricians we had to said &quot;It's normal, he doesn't need glasses, he might grow out of it.&quot; Well, that was utter BS. Go to an optician, and ask his opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get glasses and your son doesn't actually need them, then he'll probably simply end up not using them very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-08-24T06:56:45.240" LastActivityDate="2011-08-24T06:56:45.240" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2642" CreationDate="2011-08-23T17:54:12.153" Score="11" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Wake up earlier.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will probably mean moving the child's bedtime earlier as well; the difference between a 4yo who's slept 11 hours vs. 12 hours is &lt;em&gt;amazing&lt;/em&gt;. I've fought the early-morning-get-everybody-ready battle as well, and the best tactic I have is to get yourself ready, then get them ready. My kids definitely have their own pace, and can only be hurried so much before they (or I) melt down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Use a carrot.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What really worked for us was telling my 4yo &amp;quot;The faster you get ready, the more time you have to do [fun project at the dining room table]!&amp;quot; He's 5 now, but can get himself dressed and downstairs in 10 minutes, so that he'll have 15 minutes to color before we leave. The first time this happens, say something like &amp;quot;Wow! You got ready so fast we had time to do something fun this morning! Wouldn't it be cool if that happened &lt;em&gt;every morning?&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1480" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-08-23T17:54:12.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2648" CreationDate="2011-08-23T23:32:05.850" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know for a fact that sucking the lower lip does cause a bulging misshaped blob on the lower lip. My son fell at about 18 months cutting his lower lip. He sucked the scar for the next 3 years creating a large bulging lip that his dentist said would likely not reabsorb. I taught him to place his tongue between his teeth and created a tongue sucker instead (not a good idea). The lip did normalize after a few months (but the tongue sucking has persisted into adulthood).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lip biting in an infant would likely be related to the position of his upper and lower dental arch. If the lower jaw is significantly smaller than the upper there is an anatomical positioning of the upper arch over the lower lip that looks like biting. This would be genetic and could only be addressed when he is much older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this situation, the &quot;biting&quot; does not reduce the chin size, but the smaller chin size is the reason for the &quot;biting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Placing fingers and other objects in the mouth would keep the upper and lower gums separated and prevent the &quot;biting&quot; of the lower lip, but will not actually change the position of the dental arches.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child grows, sometimes a smaller upper or lower grows and becomes more proportional with the other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older children with weak oral muscles sometimes stabilize their muscles by biting the lower lip, jutting the jaw forward, or torquing the jaw to one side. A 3 month old is far to young for this to be the situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-23T23:32:05.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1823" CreationDate="2011-08-24T00:39:32.743" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Glad recovery is going well. As a speech language pathologist, I would advise you that there are exercises that would be beneficial for your child since he has had his surgery. His condition has limited the movement of his tongue over the years. Just because his tongue's range of motion has increased, his muscle strength and movement will not automatically appear. Specific, simple oral motor exercises can facilitate his oral motor strength and support improved speech.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-08-24T00:39:32.743" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2655" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-24T02:31:39.560" Score="1" ViewCount="69" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2592/at-what-age-should-i-enroll-my-child-in-dental-and-vision-plans&quot;&gt;At what age should I enroll my child in dental and vision plans?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure this in a question only relevant to the US since we have to think about stuff like this, but what would be a reasonable age to sign up for dental insurance for my boy? Is this something that you would want before the teeth even erupt? Or are there only ever issues after you've moved to solids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess a more general question would be: When do children start having issues with their teeth where they would need a dentist?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-08-24T02:31:39.560" Title="Dentist for a baby?" Tags="|teeth|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2011-08-24T12:11:03.913" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2611" CreationDate="2011-08-25T01:52:34.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids are 5 and 3, and they both got electric toothbrushes from their Grandma this last Christmas (the youngest was 2 at the time). Neither of them has had any trouble with them, so I'd say that you could have them using electric toothbrushes as soon as you have them brushing their own teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1433" LastActivityDate="2011-08-25T01:52:34.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-25T01:59:55.057" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife borrowed a book called &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0744570174&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Silly Billy&lt;/a&gt; from the library recently, and the story goes that the boy learns from his Grandmother about Guatemalan worry dolls, to whom he tells his worries before going to sleep so that he isn't scared. My son often comes to us scared in the night, so this has worked really well for him (5) and his sister (3), and making the dolls can be a fun craft project for them. Check it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1433" LastActivityDate="2011-08-25T01:59:55.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2659" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-25T07:44:16.240" Score="6" ViewCount="5479" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 8 year old kid with ADHD. He never turns off the lights when he leaves a room. Never. It's a pet peeve of mine when lights are kept on when not in use. His younger sister has learned and turns off the lights. I have told him hundreds of times to turn off the lights. I feel my words are going nowhere. Now I make him go do it whenever I see them on even if that means he has to go up the stairs or stop doing whatever he's doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel I am nagging too much and he's getting resentful. I can't get him to learn. I am not sure if this is part of ADHD behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I just give up and let it go and have more peaceful times with him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="923" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-27T18:19:27.023" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T22:24:18.700" Title="How can I get my primary-schooler to remember to turn off the light?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2659" CreationDate="2011-08-25T10:12:02.697" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try a reward system.  Rewards such as praise increase dopamine levels in the brain. Dopamine is a primary driver of brain plasticity.  It's presence is necessary in order to cement new connections in place.  These new connections pertain to the activity for which the praise was given.  So, if you reward him when he does turn out the light, he is more likely to repeat the action next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/221796.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/221796.php&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastActivityDate="2011-08-25T10:12:02.697" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2659" CreationDate="2011-08-25T11:46:19.627" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just keep reminding him, but in a neutral tone.  Sometimes my 6 year old doesn't like to do certain things, and unless my wife and I end up talking loudly he uses &quot;selective hearing&quot; to listen.  He'll either ignore us, talk about something else, or try to change the subject, all tactics we have seen but he tries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation seems more like its a child syndrome, nothing medical, since many children I have known (including my own) tend to forget to do certain things regardless of being told many times.  On occasion if I see lights on in a room, and it's a pet peeve of mine as well, I just ask my son to turn the lights off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually they pick it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2011-08-25T16:17:59.010" LastActivityDate="2011-08-25T16:17:59.010" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2592" CreationDate="2011-08-25T15:13:28.423" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends. Normally, you wouldn't need to take a young child to the dentist until they are at least 3 or 4, unless there are higher than normal risk factors for dental health. However, my son managed to chip a tooth at 13 mo. so we had to take him into a dentist to get his tooth filed, and had to pay for it out of pocket because we didn't have coverage for him yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So weigh the risk of having out of pocket expenses against the cost of unnecessary coverage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-08-25T15:13:28.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2592" CreationDate="2011-08-25T15:44:40.937" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question can quickly lead to a rant about how shoddy our US health care system is. Why our society deems dental separate from the rest of our body's well-being is beyond me. But I'll save that rant for another day. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, my advice would be to get them into a dental plan ASAP. For the first several years, you won't need the high-end plan...but you do want to get them going to the dentist regularly for a variety of reasons. First, it gets them used to going to a dentist...which is a good habit. Secondly, even with baby teeth, they can have issues--both with the first set of teeth as well as being an indicator of what's to come. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for vision--sadly, that's more of a scam than anything. Well, 'scam' may be a bit harsh, but it's a bit of a racket. The retail eyeglass industry has &lt;em&gt;massive&lt;/em&gt; profit margins. Most vision plans are merely ways to get you to pay for annual eyeglasses rather than any sort of major medical eye coverage. These days, you can do most of your eyeglass shopping online. &lt;a href=&quot;http://glassyeyes.blogspot.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://glassyeyes.blogspot.com/&lt;/a&gt; is a web site that has been talking about all the various options for getting your glasses online and have bee mostly impressed by what you can do online. You'd still need to get your child a appointment with a local optometrist, but those can be had for under $100. And with eyeglasses being sold online for $30, that's a lot cheaper than forking out for the annual vision plan in most instances. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-08-25T15:44:40.937" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2659" CreationDate="2011-08-25T16:01:25.683" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;People with ADHD are very, very good at ignoring stimuli that doesn't fit their world. Your telling him to turn off the lights clearly fits into that category.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; praise and/or reward when he does it properly &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; punish when he does it improperly. Both have to be &lt;strong&gt;immediate&lt;/strong&gt;, or they are useless. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you see him leave the room and leave the light is on, get up, stop him, take him back to the room, show him the light still on, make &lt;strong&gt;him&lt;/strong&gt; flip the switch, and take a favorite possession away for the evening. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you see him remember, stop him and thank him with a big smile on your face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said ... I wonder if this is the right battle to fight. The kid has enough problems without having to worry about your pet peeves. Perhaps a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=motion%20sensor%20light%20switches&amp;amp;um=1&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;amp;tbm=shop&amp;amp;cid=2489325310748874212&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=h25WTvL2FKrniAK69LC8CQ&amp;amp;ved=0CGgQ8wIwAg&quot;&gt;motion-sensing switch&lt;/a&gt; is a better alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-25T16:01:25.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="90" CreationDate="2011-08-26T04:23:39.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From Sally Fallon's Book, &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/0967089735&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Nourishing Traditions&lt;/a&gt; (consult your health care provider)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/PViuk.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T04:23:39.277" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2642" CreationDate="2011-08-26T04:41:36.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell him he is doing better than yesterday .. for very little improvement as well .. also tell him some other children are worse than him when it comes to getting ready on time. Children like the feeling that they are good. And they can easily form negative impression about themselves when parents say something like 'you can never be on time'. Their little minds assume that to be true and then they may subconsciously stop attempting for being on time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1494" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T04:41:36.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2667" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2669" CreationDate="2011-08-26T13:29:24.163" Score="26" ViewCount="14506" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't mind reading Cat in the Hat, but my 1st Grader still wants books to be read as part of the night time ritual, even though she reads them fine herself.  But Ready Freddy is no fun to read out loud.  I can't do different voices for all the children in the book.  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="899" LastActivityDate="2020-06-30T12:01:02.173" Title="What age do you stop reading bedtime stories?" Tags="|bedtime|reading|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-08-26T14:08:54.170" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say keep reading the bedtime stories for as long as your child is willing to let you!  It is not only a great opportunity for parent-child bonding, but it also fosters an appreciation of reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually you'll reach a point where they feel they're &quot;too old&quot; for that, and I suspect you'll wind up missing that ritual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the stories themselves are the problem, then you have two options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find different books&lt;/strong&gt;.  There are lots of different books out there that are age appropriate, and some will be more or less appealing to adults as well as children.  If the number of different voices becomes an issue, then classic fairy tales might be a good option, as they tend to have fewer characters involved.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make up your own stories&lt;/strong&gt;.  This won't work for everyone; not everyone is a good (or even mediocre) story-teller.  However, the stories don't have to be complex, or even coherent, so long as they are fun.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-26T14:16:39.883" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T14:16:39.883" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-08-26T14:19:27.443" Score="52" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would keep doing it as long as the child is interested in it, and might even press the issue a while later.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.trelease-on-reading.com/&quot;&gt;Jim Trelease&lt;/a&gt; is an advocate of reading aloud thoughout (at least) the elementary years, and his research is compelling. He has published collections of stories and book recommendations that are age appropriate as children grow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/21/fashion/21GenB.html&quot;&gt;story&lt;/a&gt; of a father and daughter who read aloud together for 8+ years starting in elementary school is compelling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do be aware of the difference between reading aloud as a fun, together activity and reading aloud as a trigger to wind down.  If the same books are selected over and over, then it is more likely the latter.  That I would stop that part of it by selecting more interesting stories and not repeating very often. I would also move the reading aloud earlier in the routine, say before brushing of teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you seen the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Princess_Bride_%28film%29&quot;&gt;Princess Bride&lt;/a&gt;? The story is told as a child being read to by his grandfather.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2011-08-26T14:25:17.200" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T14:25:17.200" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-08-26T15:28:48.370" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been reading my 1st grader son some classic books which are still a little too hard for him to read on his own. We did the original Winnie the Pooh books this summer and the EB White books before that. I'm planning on Dickens A Christmas Carol for the holiday season. All are books that he will enjoy listening to, but isn't able to read by himself yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1488" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T15:28:48.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-08-26T15:39:57.347" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read my kids bedtime stories, we all cuddle up on one or the other's bed. My son is in 1st grade and my daughter is about to turn 5. What I do is read a couple lines then point to a word to have them sound it out. It makes the bedtime story a little longer than just reading the story yourself, but at the same time the kids are still practicing their site words for school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T15:39:57.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2611" CreationDate="2011-08-26T16:39:03.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter just turned two and we switched to electric toothbrush. She likes it better than the manual brush, I think. Also, she doesn't try and bite the electric one like she did with the manual one. We brush together, her hand under mine and use a mirror to watch what we are doing. I hope this will help her get ready to do the brushing independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1499" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T16:39:03.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-26T19:00:21.447" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We give our kids some chewable Melatonin from Trader Joe's. It helps to ease them into sleep and avoid the late-night crazies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1502" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T19:00:21.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-08-26T21:01:09.700" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I intend to read to my daughter until she's able to choose and read her own books to herself. Even then, I'll probably read to her occasionally just for a treat from time to time. We also try and vary the complexity of the stories so that we get lots of language and exposure to new words in there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes my wife and I read to each other from articles in magazines or online from articles we think would interest the other. In general, we view reading as just another shared activity which our entire family can enjoy and we hope to keep it that way for as long as we can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1097" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T21:01:09.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2659" CreationDate="2011-08-26T21:07:59.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest acting as though the world stopped for a while every time he forgets to turn off the light. Make a comical game out of it - no matter what activity he wants to do next, you silently stand rock-solid, looking around the home in an exaggerated (but silent) manner as if wondering what is wrong with everything. What could it be? Nothing can continue until whatever it is gets resolved... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It won't be long before this becomes irritating and inconvenient because it gets in the way of whatever he might want to do or say (you're ignoring him because you're so &quot;distracted&quot; by this issue). Soon turning off the lights becomes a priority for him if he wants your attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And it'll allow you to turn the tables and get a chuckle out of your own odd 'Stop the world!' act).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1097" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T21:07:59.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-26T21:15:16.573" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's what I do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Typical bed time routine (changed, teeth brushed, stories read if she'll sit still)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Then we turn on the white noise machine (iPhone hooked up to a speaker) and lie down and turn the lights out.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She is sometimes overly excited and I merely lie down beside her and close my eyes as if she wasn't even there but I breathe very loudly, obviously, and rhythmically.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't begin to calm down by herself I pretend I am asleep and &quot;in my sleep&quot; pull her in closely and tightly. She'll then usually squirm free and play around the bed for another few minutes. Then I repeat. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;After about 2-3 times of this she eventually sort of gives up and remains there curled up beside me. As soon as I hear that she's now asleep, I slip away as quietly as possible (assisted by the white noise).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1097" LastActivityDate="2011-08-26T21:15:16.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2677" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2679" CreationDate="2011-08-27T02:17:51.113" Score="3" ViewCount="416" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.allexperts.com/q/Pediatrics-1429/Toilet-training-resistance-3.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;, my three-year-old son is &quot;resistant to potty training.&quot; That is putting it mildly -- he was getting so good, and then in the past month or so he's gotten worse than he ever was. So, my question is do steps like the ones outlined in that article work? It almost seems counter-intuitive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reference, here are the major bullet points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Transfer all responsibility to your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Stop all reminders about using the toilet.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Give incentives for using the toilet.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Give stars for using the toilet.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Make the potty chair convenient.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Diapers, Pull-ups, or underwear? (use underwear).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Remind your child to change his clothes if he wets or soils himself.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Don't punish or criticize your child for accidents.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Ask the preschool or day care staff to use the same strategy.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like my wife and I have tried some of the things on this list. I know we've done 3,4,5,6 and 9 is a no-brainer (school needs to cooperate here).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="324" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-29T07:48:01.340" LastActivityDate="2014-07-13T11:59:54.447" Title="Does this method of potty-training work?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-08-27T02:47:46.563" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;No matter how well your child reads in elementary school, there's always going to be plenty of material that's appropriate, but beyond what he or she could read and really understand on his or her own. Reading together is a chance to expose your child to lots of great literature, and that in turn makes it much more likely that they'll read more on their own later. It also improves their vocabulary and reading comprehension, and that gives them a big leg up on standardized tests like the SAT and ACT. It's also a great bonding experience, and it's fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read to your kids for as long as they'll let you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1508" LastActivityDate="2011-08-27T02:47:46.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2677" CreationDate="2011-08-27T14:57:34.290" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anticipation is the key for the child to experience successful use of all modern plumbing has to offer. Anticipating the need to go is a viceral thing that has to do with the sensation of wetness and the associations around that sensation. The book I read was how to potty train your child in a day. I did it with both my girls and was a bit of a celebrity for getting the system to work. I am not sure it needs to be a elaborate as the book described (use of a doll that actually simulates urination), but for us the key was making the child aware of dry vs. wet clothes. This is, in part, why it is essential to get rid of the diapers, they are amazingly dry and comfortable feeling because of modern technology.&#xA;So we gave alot of praise for dry clothes pretty heavily and pretty frequently for about a week leading up to the training day. This included as many people, real or imaginary, that we could think of either calling on the phone, visiting or just being referenced by us.&#xA;For example: Does Megatron have dry pants? Yes, yes he does. He likes dry pants. He would be very proud of you with your dry pants. We actually had quite a bit of fun with it. We did the other side of the coin too, but not to heavily. For example: Grandma doesn't like wet pants, let's get some dry pants on, OK? Good that's better dry pants feel good, don't they?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1510" LastActivityDate="2011-08-27T14:57:34.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2680" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-28T02:03:35.117" Score="9" ViewCount="709" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I have a close connection to a child through family friend, mentoring, neighbor, etc., I usually back up parents (even if I don't agree with a particular parenting style sometimes) so as not to be a wedge between the child and their parents. But in one family I have found it difficult to side with the parents when both of them--aren't bad--but often fail (IMO) because they are too concerned with themselves and don't act in the best interest in the children. Again, they're not abusive or anything bad--they're just not real good. Spending too much time on themselves, bad mouthing the other spouse (they're divorced), not disciplining enough because they don't want to spend the effort enforcing the discipline, teaching a conflicting set of values (b/w each spouse), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When or in which situations is it a good idea to voice my opinion on a matter so the children don't grow up thinking that's how parents should behave?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user497" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-05T13:10:17.273" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T20:33:38.913" Title="Is it ever okay to tell a kid you disagree with their parents?" Tags="|communication|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2680" CreationDate="2011-08-28T06:53:53.460" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's perfectly OK to express disagreement with parents, regardless of the age.   Just make sure you do it in a way that won't get you in trouble with the parents, get the kid in trouble with the parents, or get the kid angry at you for what you've said about their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People disagree a lot.   No kid should grow up thinking their parents are beyond criticism, and &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; not children whose parents really need to be criticized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1513" LastActivityDate="2011-08-28T06:53:53.460" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-28T07:10:32.897" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Best way to make sure a kid sleeps at night:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure they get &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;lots&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; of exercise during the day.  This is generally impossible at most public schools, so that means get them out of the house and running around after they get home from school.   If they are attending a tutorial center or other daycare facility, make sure there are PE programs in place that get the kids out and about.   Consider this homework:  it is just as important for a child's mental development to get a suitable amount of exercise as it is for them to study books.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No caffeine within five hours of sleep-time, including (but not limited to) iced tea, coca-cola, or even caffeinated candies, like chocolate or coffee-toffees.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No sugar within one or two hours of going to bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure they get to bed on a regular sleep schedule, every night;  &lt;em&gt;do not vary this&lt;/em&gt;.  Circadian rhythms are very strong, and if a child habitually stays up 'til 10 on weekends, then you should expect their sleep schedule to be disrupted for at least Monday and Tuesday.  Also, don't let the kid sleep much during the day, or oversleep in the morning.  If they went to bed late the night before, wake them early the next day and force them to get out of bed -- this reinforces circadian rhythms, and makes it less likely that the child will get habituated to a late-night schedule (like you describe, above)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A hot bath helps.  A lot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A bed-time story or other quality one-on-one time with a gentle, calm parent helps.   A lot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A regular, habitual schedule (bathing, brushing teeth, putting on jammies, glass of water or hot milk, sitting for a story, etc) before bed-time helps.  A lot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If these strategies don't work (and i should first add, they have never failed for me), then other techniques can be used, like breathing exercises, where a parent teaches a child to breathe by filling their lungs to capacity, and then slowly exhaling in a controlled manner.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of basic breathing exercises one can find on yoga and meditation sites;   there is no need to teach any particular visualizations, or to indoctrinate the child with any dogma.   Simply the act of breathing deeply and slowly will provide a tremendous material boost to the child as s/he tries to calm themselves for sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, one can &quot;play the quiet game&quot;, where whispers are used, and every movement is done in a calming, gentle, somnolescent fashion.  Believe it or not, children do need to be taught this;   as a teacher in Asia, I can testify to the complete inability of the kids over here to whisper;  they just don't know how.   By playing &quot;the quiet game&quot;, a parent can easily teach their kids a lot of useful strategies for calming themselves before bed-time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If wanted, visualization exercises can also be used;  these can be religious in nature (i.e. -- prayers), or non-religious in nature (sometimes called &quot;self-hypnosis&quot;, also &quot;meditation&quot;).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short:  use common sense.  Keep your kids away from caffeine and sugar (especially high-fructose corn syrup, which is what most candies are made of, today);   make sure they get plenty of exercise, and work with them to help calm them, and get ready for bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1513" LastEditorUserId="1513" LastEditDate="2011-08-28T07:32:35.920" LastActivityDate="2011-08-28T07:32:35.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-29T12:24:34.273" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hear this amusing podcast from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2010/08/20/129328075/the-tuesday-podcast-allowance-economics&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Planet Money&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://gametheorist.blogspot.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Joshua Gans&lt;/a&gt;, an economist from Australia who wrote a book called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentonomics.com/Parentonomics/News/Entries/2010/9/12_Parentonomics_%28now_in_Paperback%29.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parentonomics&lt;/a&gt;, &amp;quot;tried to create a toilet-training economy for his young children. He rewarded them with candy for sitting on the toilet — and the older ones got candy if they helped the younger ones.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the kids quickly learned how to manipulate the system:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, like tiny Wall-Street bankers, the kids figured out how to work the system for maximum advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His daughter managed to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes, all day long. For a while, she got a treat every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also wrung everything she could out of her brother:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realized that if I helped my brother go to the toilet, I would get rewarded, too. And I realized that the more that goes in, the more comes out. So I was just feeding my brother buckets and buckets of water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1476" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:17:55.720" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-29T14:48:26.867" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried aromatherapy? My kids don't usually have problems falling asleep but if they do, I slather some Johnson and Johnson's Lavendar and Chamomile lotion on them and it seems to help them relax. You can usually find it in the baby section at the store, it's in a purple bottle. There is also a generic version of it, but I like J&amp;amp;J's because it is thicker and seems to have a better scent to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-08-29T14:48:26.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2680" CreationDate="2011-08-29T17:24:34.390" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NO.&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not OK to tell the kids you disagree with the parents about parenting or about other serious life decisions. It is just as bad to be critical of the parenting of others to their kids or to your own kids, for that matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other parents do not owe you an explanation for their actions and decisions, and almost certainly you do not have all of the facts. You have no business even evaluating their decisions unless you are exceptionally close, and you have no business ever informing the child that the parents are wrong. Regarding the situations you describe, about the most you can do is talk to the parent, but that is unlikely to have an impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the vast majority of the cases, &quot;Mind Your Own Business&quot; is the proper starting point. We are becoming a busy-body culture, worrying more about others and not enough about our own affairs. The chances are pretty good that you have some parenting issues yourself that you are blind to, or you have some strategies that others might think are not very good. I remember once being berated by a mom for giving my child sweets. This mom's child was the schoolyard bully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; mean that you can't be there for the kids, and love them, and support them. I realize that doing so without being critical can be difficult. And you can almost certainly model good parenting, with your kids and with them. But keep your mouth shut about the parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife grew up in a troubled household, with alcoholism and affairs and lots of conflict. She spent a lot of time with her god parents, who were close to the family. She learned from the godparents how good parents should behave. The god parents were never openly critical of the parents to my wife until many years later. But their home was always open to her, and they supported her during the rough times. Had the god parents been critical, that criticism would have come out in an argument, and my wife would have been forbidden from seeing the god parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think of it this way. Bad mouthing the parents and offering unsolicited advice and opinions are not going to change their behavior, and are likely to get you removed from the lives of these children. You can do more good being a silent, positive, supporting presence than being an absent critic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;DISCLAIMER: If there is an issue severe enough (abuse or serious neglect) that the welfare of the child is at stake, then talking to the parents is unlikely to be productive, unless you have a really solid relationship. More likely, a call to the local child protection agency is in order. But none of your examples sound remotely like that.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-29T17:24:34.390" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2690" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2695" CreationDate="2011-08-29T18:58:30.957" Score="4" ViewCount="8102" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're on our third child.  The first two would nurse and then go right to sleep in the bassinet.  This one seems to sleep well in the bed, but not in the bassinet.  My wife looked online and found these co-sleeping things that help prevent bad things from happening: rolling on top of them, suffocating on blankets, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked our doctor and she said she's comfortable with the &quot;side&quot; co-sleepers, but not the ones that lay in the middle of the bed.  It sounded like the doctor described something that hangs off the side of the bed.  When searching Amazon, though, I can only find full-size bassinets that pull up to the bed or co-sleepers that just lay on the mattress - nothing that hangs off the side.  We're probably not interested in buying a whole new bassinet at $150.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think the doc was just mixed up?  Have you used one of these products?  Do you feel safe with them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-29T19:28:10.400" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T19:31:00.320" Title="What type of co-sleeping product hangs off the side of the bed?" Tags="|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2691" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-08-29T19:15:10.047" Score="0" ViewCount="794" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have found (against all reason) that we have an infestation of head lice at home. I don't know where my kids got it (and at this point it doesn't matter) but I've never had to deal with this before. When I was a kid I never got it, nor did anyone I know. There were never any reported cases in any of my schools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, we've treated their heads and spent hours (upon hours upon hours) picking nits out of their hair. Bed linens have been washed multiple times, pillows and stuffed animals are put away in plastic bags, and we've sprayed the furniture and car interiors with a lice-killing spray. Oh, and we've called the parents of all the kids mine have been in contact with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I missing something? How long does it take to ensure they're truly gone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1520" LastActivityDate="2011-08-30T08:31:57.567" Title="How to deal with head lice?" Tags="|hygiene|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2011-08-30T12:03:37.283" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2691" CreationDate="2011-08-29T19:38:21.010" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Treat them again in a week and you should be ok. I went overboard with my kids and treated them every week for 3 weeks. It got expensive but it was worth it! Also, make sure the stuffed animals and such stay in those plastic bags for a couple of days. Better yet, you could put them in plastic totes because they have less of a chance of letting air in than plastic bags do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-08-29T19:38:21.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2680" CreationDate="2011-08-29T19:45:57.383" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not the children &quot;thinking that's how parents should behave&quot; that should concern you, it's the children thinking the parents' behavior is the child's fault.  Being told something like, &quot;your Mom's not as angry with you as she is about something else that happened to her earlier today&quot; can have a tremendous impact, helping the child actually feel &lt;em&gt;closer&lt;/em&gt; to the parent.  Children are much more resilient than people give them credit for.  They just need to see their circumstances in the proper context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-08-29T19:45:57.383" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2691" CreationDate="2011-08-29T21:51:58.243" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has come home from daycare twice with lice (sharing it with me once, when I had hip length hair - NOT FUN).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used a product called Hedrin - it's not an insecticide so it was safe for use on him at a year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bedsheets, pillows, cases, stuffed animals - everything goes in the wash, and then in the dryer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a deep freezer, you can also bag everything and seal it, then freeze it in the freezer for 48 hours - which will kill any lice or nits present.  Lice can live without a human host for 2-4 days, so keep that in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put towels down on the couch for him to lean up on, and immediately washed/froze those after he went to bed.  I spent 6 hours a day combing through my hair; I gave my son a buzz cut.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend using conditioner as a 'lube' for the nit comb - it makes pulling it through longer hair much easier and MUCH less painful - it doesn't affect the combs' ability to remove the lice/nits either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit to add: you need to treat them once a week for two (or three) weeks - and comb them daily. Whatever eggs you might miss the first time around WILL hatch and the cycle repeats itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastEditorUserId="583" LastEditDate="2011-08-30T08:31:57.567" LastActivityDate="2011-08-30T08:31:57.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2690" CreationDate="2011-08-29T22:06:46.310" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think what you're looking for is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thisnext.com/tag/bassinets/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.thisnext.com/tag/bassinets/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/mvTOD.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I've understood it's not on the market presently?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-08-29T22:06:46.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-29T22:50:01.763" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two words: swimming lessons. Worked like a charm with my kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1181" LastActivityDate="2011-08-29T22:50:01.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2690" CreationDate="2011-08-30T03:16:56.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a link to a UK charity NCT (National Childbirth Trust) online shop which sells a few products like you describe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nctshop.co.uk/Sleeping/products/27/?gclid=CLa63fyD9qoCFYELfAodekOwLQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nctshop.co.uk/Sleeping/products/27/?gclid=CLa63fyD9qoCFYELfAodekOwLQ&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/KH8sC.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;bedside cot&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an Amazon.co.uk link for a product which is not a full size cot:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/NScessity-100101-BabyBay-Co-Sleeping-Cot/dp/B000OKQ8DO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1314673713&amp;amp;sr=8-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.co.uk/NScessity-100101-BabyBay-Co-Sleeping-Cot/dp/B000OKQ8DO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1314673713&amp;amp;sr=8-1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This product is expensive!  It's over £200; that's about $320us or €220euro.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-30T03:16:56.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2699" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2706" CreationDate="2011-08-30T19:05:43.413" Score="16" ViewCount="466" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's something I know a lot of parents with school-age children struggle with. What's the line between &quot;helping&quot; a child with their homework versus out-and-out doing it for them? At what point is too much help a problem? How would one know if they're starting to &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; the assignment for the child rather than providing guidance/assistance?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T21:56:28.980" Title="Where is the line on helping with homework?" Tags="|school|primary-schooler|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2699" CreationDate="2011-08-30T20:43:50.250" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way I have looked at it is if I am writing anything down I am doing it, I will coach my son into trying to work out the answer giving him more hints if he is not getting it.  Sometimes it will take a bit with certain subjects, but usually we work it out.  Writing is harder, and we do Chinese characters for his Chinese School, so for that if I must write I will do it on a separate piece of paper so no matter what he will still need to write it on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-08-30T20:43:50.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2699" CreationDate="2011-08-30T20:51:11.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know you're doing the problem &lt;em&gt;FOR&lt;/em&gt;  them when they continue to ask you to 'do the next step(s) for me' - and you do them, repeatedly - the same 'type' of problem.  It becomes obvious that they haven't learned the concept behind the homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I worked with my daughter to help her understand how to start working on a problem, most notably word problems for math &amp;amp; science. Basically, I taught her how to get from point A to point B.  I would never just 'do' the problem and give it to her, because that's not &lt;em&gt;HELPING&lt;/em&gt; her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-08-30T20:51:11.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2702" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2703" CreationDate="2011-08-30T20:57:15.497" Score="11" ViewCount="16668" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not looking for judgment or opinion. I am looking for information.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When is circumcision done? Do we need to set it up in advance, does it happen at the hospital after birth, who does it at the hospital, and so on...?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1529" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-08-31T11:42:22.627" LastActivityDate="2019-11-04T05:08:59.733" Title="When and how is circumcision done?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2702" CreationDate="2011-08-30T21:40:29.657" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It normally occurs before the baby leaves the hospital after birth, unless you're Jewish - in that case a mohel performs it when the baby is 8 days old if I recall correctly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll need to speak with your hospital to determine whether or not you need to arrange it in advance, and whether or not it is covered by your insurance (many insurers are no longer paying for it). Hospitals also vary as to whether it's a pediatrician, GP or surgeon performing the snip. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-08-30T21:40:29.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2702" CreationDate="2011-08-31T01:12:11.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the case of Muslim boys, it will tend to happen around the age of six. There is a whole big ceremony attached to it (the act, not the body part). As I understand it, it is done under a general anesthetic. We spoke to our pediatrician about it when our boy was born - that would be a good starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T01:12:11.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2638" CreationDate="2011-08-31T01:35:06.610" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect that the info Andrew Brereton posted in response to another question on the site may be helpful to you. I can't improve on his response. Here's what he posted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Why is my toddler having trouble sleeping?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There can be many reasons a child might develop sleeping problems, but fortunately there are also many ways in which sleep can be influenced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a neurochemical level, when we sleep, our brain detects that darkness is approaching and serotonin is converted into melatonin, which enables us to sleep, in the morning, as the brain detects light, the melatonin is reabsorbed and we wake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first principle then is to reinforce this cycle. Ensure that your son is exposed to early morning light and that he goes to bed in a dimply lit room, or if possible in darkness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also ways in which we can load our brains with serotonin, (and therefore melatonin) before sleep. A good one is natural cherry juice, - this is packed with serotonin. Another trick is to make his last meal one which has foods which are packed with tryptophan, (the amino acid in our food which Serotonin is made out of) and carbohydrates. (Carbs help the absorption of tryptophan). So patotoes, bread etc are good sources of carbohydrates and turkey, chicken etc are excellent sources of tryptophan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other trick is to artificially raise the core temperature of his body, by giving him a warm bath immediately before bedtime and then sending him to bed in a nice cool bedroom. This will ensure that the artificially created high core temperature of his body will drop quickly. - The brain takes the dropping of our core temperature as a sleep signal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps. ...&lt;em&gt;Andrew Brereton&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T01:16:01.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2699" CreationDate="2011-08-31T04:30:27.507" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former math tutor to children in middle and high school, and now a father, I can tell you a way to avoid the problem completely. Gain an understanding of the concept yourself, and make an equivalent problem that uses the same steps/ideas. Walk them through step by step, explaining as you go. One or two examples like that should be enough for them to understand well enough to do other work on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This takes a bit more work, but it really teaches them. Most kids will be all too happy to just copy you or follow your lead and never gain an understanding of the work. The best way to avoid it is to do absolutely none of their actual work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2011-09-01T21:56:28.980" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T21:56:28.980" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2707" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2714" CreationDate="2011-08-31T04:31:50.763" Score="26" ViewCount="16001" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6 month old who likes to stare at my glowing computer while I code or browse the internet.  Most of what I view is text or static web pages, so it's not content I'm worried about her viewing, it's the flashing to different windows and screens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know the AAP recommends you not let your child watch TV until they are at least 2, for various reasons-- one of which is that rapidly changing scenes shorten a baby's attention span.  Does this apply to computer screen as well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-09-05T02:04:05.100" LastActivityDate="2020-09-05T02:04:05.100" Title="Does it hurt my baby (developmentally) if she watches while I'm on the computer?" Tags="|infant|development|screen-time|computer|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2699" CreationDate="2011-08-31T07:48:56.140" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a pretty clear line between &quot;doing the work&quot; and &quot;helping someone understand how to do the work&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One technique is to ask the child to explain to you how a problem would be tackled; or if the child is baffled to ask the child if the problem can be split into smaller bits, and how one of those smaller bits would be tackled.  That makes them do some work, and explaining something always seems to make things clear for the person doing the explaining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes children just don't get something.  I have never been able to do &quot;long division&quot;, and it's nice if a parent can recognise that and ask the teacher if there are other techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, having a source of appropriate research websites available would be handy.  Here's a UK website from the British Broadcasting Corporation with a lot of useful information - some media might not work outside the UK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/&quot;&gt;http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T07:48:56.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2699" CreationDate="2011-08-31T09:41:09.430" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;What do you see homework as for?  What are you teaching them by helping them with their homework?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If homework is to help them learn, you can teach them about understanding and working through a problem, about team work, and that they can do the homework themselves. (With a little help in the right direction)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you don't want to teach them is that can avoid work by getting others to do it, that delaying work until they don't have enough time to do it means they won't have to do it, that they can't do it for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1531" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T09:41:09.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2710" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2723" CreationDate="2011-08-31T12:14:00.033" Score="7" ViewCount="10020" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 month old son has been &quot;cruising&quot; for the past two months.  He pulls himself up to standing quite readily, and walks quite well while holding onto something with both hands, or even one hand (although there is a clear lack of confidence in his balance when he's only holding on with one hand).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I just be waiting for him to decide to try and walk on his own?  Or are there ways to help him develop balance and encourage him to walk on his own, since he seems ready?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2022-09-16T09:42:34.490" Title="How should a toddler be encouraged to walk (if at all)?" Tags="|toddler|walking|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2702" CreationDate="2011-08-31T12:16:01.107" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When should the procedure be performed?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Most doctors recommend a circumcision procedure be done within the first few days of life; however, others will recommend you wait two or three weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How is a circumcision performed?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  The procedure takes only about 5 to 10 minutes and will usually be performed in the hospital before you take your baby home. Your baby will be placed in a padded restraint chair and given local anesthesia. A device will be inserted under the foreskin to hold it away, protecting other parts of the penis. The doctor will cut off the foreskin and cover the incision with an antibacterial ointment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/circumcision.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/circumcision.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T12:16:01.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2699" CreationDate="2011-08-31T12:27:38.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my schooldays, math caused me the biggest troubles. My father's help was fantastic, but he never solved any problems for me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, &lt;strong&gt;my father taught me the principles,&lt;/strong&gt; or &lt;strong&gt;helped me understand the ideas,&lt;/strong&gt; on which the problems were based. He never wrote anything down on paper, but we had a blackboard that he used for graphs and formulas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For writing assignments, the hardest bit was getting started, and keeping going for long enough at a time. My father would then sit near my desk and repeatedly ordered me to &lt;em&gt;Write!&lt;/em&gt; he'd keep doing that until I had something substantial that I could finish on my own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to get a whiteboard for my kids. And a comfy chair by their desk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T12:27:38.513" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2707" CreationDate="2011-08-31T12:39:12.143" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes and no:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes&lt;/strong&gt; the rule of thumb is equally valid for computer screens as for TV screens.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;No&lt;/strong&gt; your daughter won't become a raging lunatic from watching you code.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The recommendation against watching TV is not, as I understand it, because it shortens the attention span, but because &lt;em&gt;it overloads the mind.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;A small child is not mentally capable of processing so much visual input and will be overwhelmed.&lt;/strong&gt; Especially if the child is sitting too close to a big screen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is far enough away that the screen is not a major visual object, and you're not flicking between apps that are visually wildly different &lt;sup&gt;(Outlook, MS Word, Firefox, Eclipse -- they all look the same from the other side of the room)&lt;/sup&gt;, then &lt;strong&gt;I see no harm coming from the monitor itself.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby mobiles are popular with infants because their slow visual changes are pleasing. I'm not saying your monitor is pleasing in the same way (but a screensaver probably would be!), but it does explain why she stares at it so much. Also, whatever engrosses you is bound to stir your child's attention too. Kids don't want to play with the parents' smartphones because they're smartphones but because the parents constantly play with them - so they must be intriguing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T12:39:12.143" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2710" CreationDate="2011-08-31T13:06:56.500" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your description I'd say he's developing normally, so there's no reason to push things along. Also, the steps he's taking provide lots of balance training for him, so I can't think of anything that would be useful in terms of extra training. &#xA;I think he's doing fine, and he'll be walking sooner than you think. And then you'll wish he couldn't! :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can encourage him to practice &lt;em&gt;more often&lt;/em&gt; if you like, but look out for warning signs: his balance will be much worse when he's tired, so you should only practice with him when he's got energy to spare. For practice, you could make him stand by putting a toy on the couch table, then make him walk by squatting nearby and ask him to come to you -- but you'll invent your own &quot;training tricks&quot; quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T13:06:56.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="197" CreationDate="2011-08-31T17:22:06.107" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;To point out from the start I have no links to corrobarative information. BUT, I am here as I am looking for the same thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a single father and get my kids 50% of the time. I co slept with my sone from day 1 and he is now 5 and a dream to be around. My daughter, due to lack of room in the bed was in a crib at the foot of the bed. She had tantrums, and screaming. This is not scientifically measured but my gut feeling as a parent that co sleeping makes them calmer. I co slept with my parents and have wonderful memories waking up on a saturday morning and my dad making everyone a cup of tea to drink jn bed (one of those Tea s Maids bedside things from the 70s).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am literally hunting for advice and information on SCIENTIFIC studies on either side of the argument as it seem the only bad things people bring up are SIDS which is not SCIENTIFICALLY proven to be relative. As some people have said, without a scientific study it is purely opinion and hearsay. Nothing more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only information I have found online is this:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1083020.ece&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1083020.ece&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It 'mentions' studies but does not link to reference them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1534" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T17:22:06.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2717" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2729" CreationDate="2011-08-31T17:34:03.513" Score="11" ViewCount="1628" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember my school cafeteria food as being, well, not what I'd consider &quot;food&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I know how hard it is to consistently pack lunch as an adult without getting bored with the same meals over and over again.  It takes time and planning that can be in short supply for a busy parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the pros and cons of packing lunches vs. having a child buy their lunches from the school cafeteria?  How good (or bad!) is the food at school cafeterias?  Have there been improvements in taste and nutrition?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-31T17:42:25.293" LastActivityDate="2018-04-05T16:56:16.860" Title="Is it better to send your child to school with lunch, or lunch money?" Tags="|school|nutrition|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2718" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2726" CreationDate="2011-08-31T17:41:57.527" Score="9" ViewCount="1794" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you approach resolving a situation where a teacher and your child are having a major conflict?  When your child comes to you complaining about &quot;unfair treatment&quot; from a teacher, how do you identify where the problem is really coming from, without making your child feel like you aren't supporting them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2024-01-18T09:56:10.683" Title="How do you handle a conflict between your child and a teacher?" Tags="|school|conflict|teacher|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-08-31T17:51:40.973" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a teacher, librarian and parent, I can tell you that there is no end to the benefits of reading to your children. I would encourage that you continue reading aloud with your children even into high school. Beyond the valuable bonding time it provides you with your child it allows for  a number of educational benefits. First, even when a child can read, they need to keep building skills such as fluency which can be learned from hearing stories read aloud. Additionally, it sets the tone that reading is important. Being a reader is the number one predictor of student success. If you encourage your child to be a reader and show them it is so important that you take time every day to do it with them, it sends a powerful message to you kids. There is no need to use a bunch of different voices to effectively teach your kids to be readers. &#xA;I have been reading to my daughter since before she was born and I have every intention to continue reading to her until she is grown and leaves our home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T17:51:40.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2720" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2724" CreationDate="2011-08-31T17:55:16.803" Score="9" ViewCount="2580" Body="&lt;p&gt;I drive my 10 year old child to school each day.  However, lately he has been complaining about my dropping him off at school.  He says it is embarrassing to be seen being dropped off by his father, and wants me to drop him off 2 blocks away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned about his safety, and don't feel comfortable dropping him off out of site of the school entrance.  My feelings are also hurt by these comments.  Is it normal for a child to be embarrassed by being seen with their parent?  Is there any way I can help make him less embarrassed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-08-31T18:43:31.683" LastActivityDate="2017-10-11T05:42:44.907" Title="My child doesn't want to be seen in public with me... what should I do?" Tags="|behavior|school|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2717" CreationDate="2011-08-31T18:51:19.080" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are many variables that will affect your decision: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How old is/are your child/children? &#xA;Can you trust them to make good lunch choices without being present?&#xA;Does your school publish lunches in advance?&#xA;Does your child typically eat the same things or do they vary their lunch regularly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our school system publishes their lunch schedule monthly. It seems healthier than the lunches when I went to school as they use whole wheat products, locally grown vegetables, etc. I have a middle school and elementary school child. Typically, there is a main lunch daily, but opportunities to buy other things such as pizza, chicken strips or sandwich if they don't like the main lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We give our kids the menu and they choose which days they would like to buy versus bring lunch. They typically wind up bringing lunch most days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you've touched on many of the pros/cons. Ultimately, it will depend on your school system and your child(ren).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T18:51:19.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2717" CreationDate="2011-08-31T18:52:35.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK: Some schools forbid pupils to take cash in.  The school has a card system.  This has advantages:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bullies cannot steal cash&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pupils cannot spend cash on non-food items&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;poor pupils with free-lunch are the same as everyone else, avoiding bullying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but there have been concerns about privacy and too much information on the card.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About food: There have been a lot of efforts to improve the nutritional quality of food provided by schools.  I'm not sure how successful that's been.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, some schools have strict rules about food that pupils can take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT -- Schools have a very small budget for food to feed pupils.  I would prefer to know my child had a nutritious meal available provided by me; this might cost me more to provide and would take me more time, but it would provide me peace of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2011-08-31T19:34:23.010" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T19:34:23.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2710" CreationDate="2011-08-31T18:54:24.070" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 11 month was similar to yours, and we encouraged her to walk. We didn't &lt;em&gt;push&lt;/em&gt; her, just encouraged. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband I would &lt;strong&gt;sit across from each other and have her walk between the two of us&lt;/strong&gt;. We would gradually increase the distance between the two of us so she can work on her walking. The parent passing the child would hold onto the hip of the child for the first few steps. Let go. The other parent would be ready to catch the child if it falls (have arms stretched out), or just receive it. We would &lt;strong&gt;clap loudly and say &quot;good girl&quot; each time she succeeded&lt;/strong&gt; (didn't resort to crawling at any point). The initial distance we started at was such that my husband and I could touch each other's finger tips when arms were outstretched.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did that for 1-2 nights, and then soon enough, she would be walking small distances all by herself. Like from couch to the coffee table. And then eventually the distance just grew and grew - we were sure to encourage her (clap, etc.) each and every time she walked, no matter what the distance was. About 10 days from when we first started this, she was a walker. Then we just took her for walks everywhere - outside, parks, mall, etc. i.e. Give her the opportunity to walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also encouraged walking by &lt;strong&gt;giving her a laundry basket to push around&lt;/strong&gt;. Empty, light, large and stable laundry basket. She'd hold onto the narrow end and just walk with it from room to room. She LOVED pushing it around. It helps if you have a straight hallway since she did have trouble turning/maneuvering it. Now she loves pushing strollers around (she won't sit in it, she'll put her ducky in it and push it around), loves her little wheelbarrow, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage walking. Get ready for her falling a lot - just remember to help her get up! Soon enough, she will be a pro. Our daughter, at 12 months, was a flower girl at our cousin's wedding and walked down the aisle with a flower basket alongside the ring bearer =). No falling. In a straight line. It was natural =)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T18:54:24.070" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2720" CreationDate="2011-08-31T18:57:50.553" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't make this about your feelings. You're an adult, you can handle it, and I'm sure there are bigger emotional minefields than the school run. Focus on your son:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Safety:&lt;/strong&gt; Letting the child walk two blocks alone &lt;strong&gt;can be perfectly safe, or totally irresponsibe,&lt;/strong&gt; or even illegal (ask your school if in doubt). It depends on the neighborhood (evil people) and local traffic (cars and intersections, traffic lights). Consider the safely level of the route in question. If the route is too dangerous, end of discussion: drive to school. If it's safe, see next point. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Embarrassment:&lt;/strong&gt; Pick a suitable time to have an honest chat with him about why he feels embarrassed. Are there specific things that you can easily do, or avoid doing? Things to (not) say? Ways to (not) act?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(Also, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1614/109&quot;&gt;don't wear pyjama on the school run&lt;/a&gt;. And if you can, avoid the &lt;a href=&quot;http://technabob.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/lv_car.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;embarrassing car&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As for &lt;strong&gt;your feelings&lt;/strong&gt;, I hope that once you understand what's really bothering him about this, it will make it easier for you to empathise with him and you'll feel less hurt. By all means, if you really &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; feel hurt, talk to him about this. Perhaps you can agree on a good balance of things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2017-10-11T05:42:44.907" LastActivityDate="2017-10-11T05:42:44.907" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2720" CreationDate="2011-08-31T19:01:11.687" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's normal for a child this age to be embarrassed by his parents in general. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, I think it depends on how his classmates arrive at school. Are they all walking to school? Are others dropped by their parents? Do you do anything at drop-off that may embarrass him like a kiss/hug/shout across the school yard?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do a few things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-stick to your guns and drop him off at school because that is how you feel safe and he'll have to deal with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-drop him off two blocks away and follow him in the car to ensure his safety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-drop him off at a friend's house that is close to school and they can walk together.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest talking with your child about it further, determine what is causing the embarrassment and come up with a solution that you are both comfortable with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastEditorUserId="590" LastEditDate="2011-09-02T14:47:05.577" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T14:47:05.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2718" CreationDate="2011-08-31T19:08:12.813" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's one blog where a parent discusses his child's dissatisfaction with a teacher's approach to science lessons, and how he (the parent) dealt with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=4504&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=4504&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I got that link from this answer:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1026/how-do-you-handle-a-teacher-that-teaches-pseudo-science/1030#1030&quot;&gt;How do you handle a teacher that teaches pseudo science?&lt;/a&gt;  )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not a great fit, because the teacher was in the wrong and the parent had law to back him, and a sympathetic head teacher.  But the general approach seems sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gather information, ask the child what happened, then ask the teacher&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to see things from the teacher's POV, and work gently toward a resolution&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Escalate if things aren't working&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T19:25:46.910" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2718" CreationDate="2011-08-31T19:35:20.710" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a whole spectrum of solutions here, depending on how subjective the point in question is and what your personal opinion of the matter is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First get the facts, if there are any. Assuming the matter is important enough (and rare enough), get the teacher's version too. Listen to your own gut feeling regarding who's (more) right. Now consider what outcome you really want from this conflict: sometimes a victory can hurt more than letting it go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regard to &lt;em&gt;supporting the child,&lt;/em&gt; I don't think you would always take the child's side. The child is better served by learning that you are a just and fair parent because you take both parties' version into consideration. If you decide that the child is right, then throw as much energy into his defence as you feel fitting in the situation. If you feel the teacher is right, gently but clearly make him understand that the teacher is, in fact, right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T19:35:20.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2717" CreationDate="2011-08-31T20:19:49.470" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How good (or bad!) is the food at school cafeterias? Have there been&#xA;  improvements in taste and nutrition?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That depends entirely on your school system. The only way to answer either question is to go to the school(s) you child(ren) will be attending and at least look at the food, if not sample it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, at least, the quality is still overall some of the worst food you can possibly buy that's still considered fit for human consumption (I kid you not, it's lower quality than what McDonald's used to have, and their food was barely considered fit for humans), and are typically extremely high in fat, calories, and sodium, and low in just about everything else. Some districts, however, have been fighting back and revamping their lunches to the point that if you walked into their kitchen, you'd swear you were at a farmer's market.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are the pros and cons of packing lunches vs. having a child buy their lunches from the school cafeteria? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on whether you qualify for free or reduced priced lunches, packing lunch may be more expensive. You also have to deal with the pitfalls of forgetting your lunch (that's where having a lunch money stash may come in handy, if you can trust your child not to spend it on junk), and keeping it edible sans refrigerator (though they've gotten fancy with lunch boxes these days), not to mention the ability to warm up food may be hit or miss (some schools allow students to use a microwave, some don't). You also have to tote the box back and forth, and risk crushing your lunch among your books (if you keep it in your bookbag). Finally, you also have to make said lunch, which requires a certain amount of planning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, you don't have to eat what someone else has decided you should eat that day. You also can account for any allergies you might have (or simply that you have an upset stomach and can't handle red sauce on pizza day). You can also eat whole foods from your choice of seller (which also means the option for organic foods if that's the food you like). You also don't have to go with foods traditionally associated with lunch (sandwiches, chicken nuggets, pizza), and can, therefore, do casseroles, pastas, or whatever else &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; want to eat. You can also eat however much you want. Obviously, if you aren't very hungry, either meal (school or packed) would allow you to eat less, but only packed lunch allows you to eat more without having to spend more that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are just some that I thought of. I'm sure others could think of more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T20:19:49.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2717" CreationDate="2011-08-31T22:16:06.173" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was in elementary (aka primary) school, we did &lt;strong&gt;BOTH&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the menu came out every month, we took 5 minutes and identified those days/items that were acceptable to us and to her, and on those days she bought lunch. The remaining days, a lunch was prepared and she took it with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she got older, she got more involved in the decision about what items were acceptable, and she got more involved in determining what to put into a packed lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Packing lunches was not as hard as you might think. Identify a (very) few choices (PB&amp;amp;J, salami and cheese, fruit, chips, drink boxes, etc) and keep those things around. One of the weekend chores was to check for missing items so they could be replenished. Occasionally she ended up getting lunch money on a day with less than great food because we were out of something or crazy busy, but it didn't happen often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In high school (aka secondary) school, we gave her a weekly stipend and if she didn't want to eat the school food or was saving for something, she would pack her own lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other notes ... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;School food quality varies tremendously. I suggest you go have lunch with the kid and give it a try. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are standards for &quot;nutritional value&quot; in American public schools, but they don't mean much.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't spent a ton of time producing a &quot;balanced&quot; lunch or creating &quot;variety&quot;. Kids trade things, give things away, and otherwise end up eating pretty much what they want anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remember, the real goal is not a perfect meal, but the relief of hunger enough so that the kid can pay attention in the afternoon. Get them a good breakfast and a good dinner, and it won't really matter what they do for lunch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-08-31T22:16:06.173" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-09-01T00:40:22.177" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My middle school was boring throughout until I went to 5th grade (de 5e klas, to be exact - this was in the Netherlands).  The difference was that the teacher was a story teller.  In history lessons he would tell these stories about what had happened; and weekly he would just read a book for us. All pupils were mesmerized by his stories, every one of us loved it.  I was 10 years at the time and my memories of him reading 300 page books are among the most memorable and lasting of my entire education.  Another is when my Dutch teacher in high school read a poem, this was when I was 15 or 16.  I can still silence rooms of people by reading stuff, or improvising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: you can read to people at any age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might like to reverse the roles, and ask to &lt;em&gt;be&lt;/em&gt; read a story every once in a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1435" LastEditorUserId="1435" LastEditDate="2020-06-30T12:01:02.173" LastActivityDate="2020-06-30T12:01:02.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2731" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2733" CreationDate="2011-09-01T02:17:54.580" Score="2" ViewCount="246" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 month old is nearly able to sit up on his own and has gotten rather bored with activity mats, swings, and hanging toys. The only things of his he still likes, are a bit too advanced to hold his interest long; he enjoys his stacking cups and blocks, but lacks enough coordination to not get frustrated. He only seems to be happy if we hold him constantly and wants us to keep him in a standing position most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do any of you know of any good toys that could keep him entertained so my wife and I could get a bit of a break?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-09-02T17:52:57.583" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T04:22:37.507" Title="What are some good distractions for an infant?" Tags="|infant|behavior|activities|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2731" CreationDate="2011-09-01T02:33:30.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow, it sounds like your baby is advanced!  If he's good at holding his head up, he might enjoy a jumper (either free-standing, or one that attaches to a door frame).  My daughter got to that &quot;hold me up all the time&quot; stage a month ago or so, and she &lt;em&gt;loves&lt;/em&gt; her jumper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T02:33:30.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2731" CreationDate="2011-09-01T06:06:49.247" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could replace the activity mat with an activity walker. Even though he doesn't walk yet, the upright orientation is new to him and encourages sitting up so he can reach the upper parts. Or lay it flat on the floor to begin with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/X1wKi.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;example&quot;&gt;&#xA;Amazon: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_11?url=search-alias=baby-products&amp;amp;field-keywords=baby%20walker&amp;amp;x=0&amp;amp;y=0&amp;amp;sprefix=baby%20walker&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;search for baby walker&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-01T08:24:59.817" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T08:24:59.817" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2690" CreationDate="2011-09-01T07:04:56.050" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used an ordinary wooden cot with one side taken off, and put that by the side of the bed, with a scrunched-up duvet to plug the gap in-between.  It's better value than buying a special item, but only if you happen to have a cot already!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1512" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T07:04:56.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2731" CreationDate="2011-09-01T13:21:28.563" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids (now 12 and 10) loved the ExerSaucer!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It allows the child to stand up and has a swiveling seat that allows 360 degree movement with different activities around the toy such as light ups, music, and teething toys. This particular version has 3 stages:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-A play mat for up to 4 months (sounds like you are past this use)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Traditional ExerSaucer for 4 months until walking&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Activity table once walking&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are tons of different versions available. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/cw22v.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;ExerSaucer&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastEditorUserId="590" LastEditDate="2011-09-01T14:22:37.433" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T14:22:37.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2736" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2745" CreationDate="2011-09-01T15:05:31.797" Score="9" ViewCount="1687" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is safe to say that very few children enjoy every subject in school.  How do you motivate your child to put effort into subjects that they just aren't interested in?  I feel this is a separate issue than frustration stemming from doing poorly in a subject, and I suspect that the methods of addressing the issue are likely to be very different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-01T18:24:29.910" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T02:10:24.010" Title="How can you encourage a child in a school subject they don't like?" Tags="|education|school|teaching|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2702" CreationDate="2011-09-01T15:12:39.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In US, if there are no complications with foreskin and you want a hospital circumcision, normally your OB/GYN (since she is trained as a surgeon and your pediatrician is not) would perform a circumcision before you leave the hospital. If there are complications, a pediatric urologist will do it later but before he is 1 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-06T16:17:12.353" LastActivityDate="2011-09-06T16:17:12.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2738" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2742" CreationDate="2011-09-01T15:15:37.807" Score="17" ViewCount="49028" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard my whole life that the above mentioned types of toys delay walking and/or independent sitting (depending on the age they're used). I've even heard that they can hurt the infant's legs. I've never seen any research to suggest this is true and I'm skeptical, but it also makes me nervous about buying one for my son--even though he'd likely enjoy it at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any research, or even individual cases of it, that would suggest this is true? How about evidence to the contrary?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2017-12-20T06:59:18.060" Title="Are ExerSaucers/walkers/jumpers bad for children or is that simply a misconception?" Tags="|infant|health|activities|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2740" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2741" CreationDate="2011-09-01T15:39:08.897" Score="12" ViewCount="4509" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's first grade teacher called the other day and says that he has problems holding his pencil. I knew that he didn't like writing and pretty much refused to write his name on any of his work in kindergarten, but I thought it was because he was stubborn. He won't tell me anything about his day, and if he does, it's always &quot;I don't know.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have heard that I can get a gripper for his pencil, but that some kids become dependent on them to write with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't have any problems holding small things, like coins or whatnot, he just can't get the pencil thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is left handed so it makes it harder for me to try and show him how to do it because I am right handed. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE:&lt;/strong&gt; Mrs. Menefee called again the other day with results from the occupational therapist. She told me that fine motor skills are not really the issue here as much as Jordan's(my son) ability to WANT to do things. That is what I suspected, but I'm not the professional in this case. Fine motor skills are still somewhat of an issue, but Jordan needs to work on his willingness to do his work. Apparently, when a task becomes a little bit of a challenge, he just gives up. I've noticed this at home too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He just doesn't want to do anything difficult. So now we get to work on boosting his confidence in himself to let him know that he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastEditorUserId="1497" LastEditDate="2011-09-26T16:25:22.583" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T02:29:53.090" Title="How do I help my son with fine motor skills?" Tags="|primary-schooler|fine-motor-skills|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2740" CreationDate="2011-09-01T15:58:36.080" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/pencil-holding-101?cid=searchresult&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parenting.com&lt;/a&gt;, improving your son's fine motor skills can be a fun activity you do together:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Peel away&lt;/strong&gt; -- Have him try to peel a clementine or small orange. This will give him practice grasping something small with his fingers while pulling at the same time, a skill he's going to need for writing. (Plus, he's rewarded with a sweet treat when he's finished!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Easy pieces&lt;/strong&gt; -- Instead of tossing those broken crayons, let your child color with them. He'll have to hold the smaller pieces the way he would a pencil rather than with the closed-fist grip he uses on whole crayons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Drop by drop&lt;/strong&gt; -- For some kitchen fun, give your child a medicine dropper from an empty bottle, a cup of water, and an empty cup. Have him transfer a drop of water from one cup to the other to build finger strength and coordination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://preschoolmama.com/index.php/2008/04/01/preschool-handwriting-activities/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;PreschoolMama.com&lt;/a&gt; suggests:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Place a piece of sponge in her palm, and let her close her ring finger and little finger around it. Now, let her use only the thumb, forefinger and middle finger to hold the pencil. Having to hold the piece of sponge with the last two fingers will make her hold the pencil tightly with the first three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cut out three holes in a sock, and let her insert her thumb, forefinger and middle finger in each hole before she attempts to practice writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as grippers go, I can only offer anecdotal evidence. A number of male students I grew up with used grippers through part of elementary school. As their handwriting improved (which happened for most with age) almost all of them were weaned off of the gripper by high school. As far as I can tell, it helped a lot of them a great deal. Some also used &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpenter_pencil&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;carpenter pencils&lt;/a&gt; instead; I think the shape helped them a lot. See if having him use a hexagonal pencil instead of a round one helps him; sometimes the surfaces give better guides for holding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T15:58:36.080" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2738" CreationDate="2011-09-01T16:06:07.157" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did not find much against exerSaucers or jumpers, and both our pediatrician and the nurses at our childbirth class sponsored by our hospital had told us that both are fine.  There are some people who have concerns about both, as is summed up fairly well by &lt;a href=&quot;http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/745582.html&quot;&gt;this post&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;ExcerSaucers:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Dr. Suzanne Dixon says, &quot;Exersaucers...hold a child's hip extended,&#xA;  just as walkers do, which is not good if a baby spends a lot of time&#xA;  in them...Also, these devices, like walkers, prevent a child from&#xA;  seeing his feet. New data on walkers suggests that this lack of visual&#xA;  feedback hinders kids' learning from their own movements. However,&#xA;  Exersaucers and Supersaucers are better than walkers in that a child&#xA;  is more centered over his feet and less on his toes. He also has to&#xA;  work on balance a bit more...For infants with motor problems and&#xA;  atypical development, we sometimes use these devices as one part of a&#xA;  program to get a baby upright and to increase his muscle tone and&#xA;  strength in the trunk.&quot; (&quot;Are Exersaucers and&#xA;  Supersaucers harmful for my baby's development? &lt;a href=&quot;http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache%3aamljDGlWrqoJ%3aus.pampers.com/en_US/learning/page/tpc_question_details/topicId/201/type/104/contentId/7864.do%3Bjsessionid%3DGDETEVU0PKMS3QFIAJ0X0NA+baby+exersaucers+development&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;gl=us&amp;amp;ct=clnk&amp;amp;cd=2&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8&quot;&gt;Pampers&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;  )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and &lt;strong&gt;Jumpers:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;According to the Children's Hospital of San Diego, &quot;Baby&#xA;  jumpers...promote movement patterns that are not useful in normal&#xA;  development including tiptoe standing and fast uncontrolled movements.&#xA;  The exercise your baby gets does not promote the development of trunk&#xA;  and leg control or the balance needed for walking. Additionally, it&#xA;  may limit time your baby spends on his tummy developing the valuable&#xA;  skills for crawling.&quot; (&quot;Frequently Asked Questions,&quot; Children's&#xA;  Hospital of San Diego: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.chsd.org/167.cfm&quot;&gt;http://www.chsd.org/167.cfm&lt;/a&gt; )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the concerns about excerSaucers and Jumpers seem to be much less common than concerns about walkers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that there are quite a few people saying not to use baby walkers.  At one point, the American Academy of Pediatrics was even recommending &lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;108/3/790&quot;&gt;banning&lt;/a&gt; their sale altogether.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Data from the AAP site used to form that recommendation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;According to the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System&#xA;(NEISS) of the US Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), an&#xA;estimated 8800 children younger than 15 months were treated in&#xA;hospital emergency departments in the United States in 1999 for&#xA;injuries associated with the use of infant walkers.8 This represents&#xA;a 56% decrease in these injuries since 1995, when 20 100 injuries&#xA;were reported.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Thirty-four deaths associated with the use of infant walkers were&#xA;reported to the CPSC during the years 1973 through 1998 (D.&#xA;Tinsworth, personal communication, November 2000).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Population surveys suggest that there may be as many as 10 times more&#xA;injuries that are sufficiently minor that they are treated in&#xA;physicians' offices or do not require medical attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents report that walker-related injuries occur at some time in 12%&#xA;to 40% of infants who use walkers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A study of 65 Virginia children injured in walkers estimated the&#xA;annual incidence of walker injuries resulting in emergency department&#xA;visits to be 8.9 per 1000 children younger than 1 year. Severe&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;injuries occurred at a rate of 1.7 per 1000. Approximately one fourth&#xA;of infant walker-associated injuries reported to the NEISS are&#xA;described as &quot;more severe,&quot; and these are nearly all fractures and&#xA;closed head injuries. Skull fractures accounted for almost 10% of all&#xA;walker-related injuries in one large series of patients.11&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the improved labeling and testing laws appear to have made an impact in their overall safety.  According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml10/10247.html&quot;&gt;U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission&lt;/a&gt;, &quot;There has been an 88% reduction in injuries from 1994 to 2008, which may be attributed to the addition of a stair fall requirement included in the 1997 version of the ASTM voluntary standard.&quot;  It is important to note that this is the result of new safety standards which specifically address &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ivillage.com/considering-baby-walker-learn-facts/6-a-127319?p=2&quot;&gt;preventing the child from falling down stairs&lt;/a&gt;, so walkers made prior to 1997 are to be avoided, and even the new walkers do not address some of the other &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/baby-walkers/AN02084&quot;&gt;hazard concerns&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example, babies who use baby walkers may:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Trip and fall over&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Roll down stairs &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Trap a finger &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Be burned, poisoned or otherwise hurt after reaching for a dangerous object or falling&#xA;  into a pool or bathtub &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the Mayo Clinic says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Even new baby walkers — which typically use&#xA;  brakes to prevent falls and are too large to fit through doorways —&#xA;  can still lead to serious injury. In addition, research shows that use&#xA;  of baby walkers can actually delay when a baby begins to sit, crawl or&#xA;  walk unassisted, as well as slow a baby's mental and motor&#xA;  development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Don't allow your baby to use a baby walker and make sure that your&#xA;  baby's other caregivers don't use baby walkers, either. Instead,&#xA;  consider using a stationary activity center, play yard, playpen or&#xA;  high chair. These devices will allow your baby to play safely as he or&#xA;  she learns to sit, crawl and stand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-01T16:20:14.013" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T16:20:14.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2738" CreationDate="2011-09-01T16:24:13.957" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had to edit this reply heavily!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a common thought that baby walkers can cause damage to the achilles tendon, which sometimes needs surgery to correct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there does not appear to be any research to support that.  See, for example, this American Academy of Pediatrics report:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;108/3/790&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;108/3/790&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This report is overwhelmingly negative about baby walkers, but only says this about tendon damage (and it doesn't really sound as if they're talking about tendon damage):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;One study that evaluated children between 6 and 15 months of age demonstrated that walker-experienced infants sat, crawled, and walked later than no-walker controls, and they scored lower on Bayley scales of mental and motor development.16 At first, the unassisted gait of infants who use walkers may be slightly abnormal.2 There is no evidence, however, that such effects are lasting in typical children or that they have any impact on the child's ultimate motor development or intelligence.2,17&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an example of anecdote about tendon damage:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2390942592&amp;amp;topic=4727&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2390942592&amp;amp;topic=4727&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am a Parent Educator with the Parents as Teachers program which is based on brain development research. Did any of your kids use baby walkers? That is a leading cause of toe walking. The reason is that their feet aren't flat on the floor, so only their tip toes reach, and they learn to be toe walkers. When children walk on their toes, their Achilles tendon (along the back of the heel/behind the ankle) isn't able to stretch out. The only way to correct it is through a very painful surgery in which the Achilles tendon is cut and then heals and then the children are able to walk flat footed. I hope this information helps. To anyone whose infants are starting to have this problem, PLEASE get rid of your baby walker! This is recommended by the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2011-09-02T08:12:14.893" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T08:12:14.893" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2740" CreationDate="2011-09-01T16:58:36.603" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like the ideas Aarthi gave, a few other things that might help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lego's, some pieces are small and require work to get in.  Even the bigger pieces take some dexterity to click right.  Other small building toys might help as well such as Tinkertoys, Lincoln Logs or other similar products (I know only the US ones.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Grippers are ok, so long as you don't keep on using them, but maybe getting a Maze book would help get used to just holding the pencil - my son at first didn't like pencils but loved Mazes and this helped him get used to them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bigger pencils, my son has camptodactyly on his little finger, so its slightly crooked and he has a hard time with his right hand sometimes.  He originally had problems with small writing implements and chopsticks, we got him larger things to use and that helped him out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chopsticks, speaking of them, also good for manual dexterity.  They make kids ones to try and use, or you can put a piece of paper between them and wrap it with a rubber band so its in the right position to squeeze.  Make a game and see who can move the most small objects around...or eat asian food.  You choice!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the handedness an issue?  Never had to deal with that, but I know teachers sometimes bring up an issue and a couple of times it was something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2011-09-01T19:54:12.393" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T19:54:12.393" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2736" CreationDate="2011-09-01T18:11:26.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this question is a bit vague as the answer will vary by subject and age of the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some are relatively easy to relate to things your child would be interested in, such as math or reading. For example, you can create math problems around sports for a child that is interested in the topic (batting average for percentages, scoring by inning for patterns, etc.). Books can be tailored to interests as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Others, like science or history, would be more difficult to come up with ways to make the subject more interesting. Textbooks often have some do-at-home exercises/experiments that you can do with your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastActivityDate="2011-09-01T18:11:26.103" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2738" CreationDate="2011-09-01T20:03:00.917" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, jumpers &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be bad. The important difference between your son holding on to your hands, and sitting in a jumper, is where the weight is placed:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's hanging from your hands, he's using muscles in all of his body -- from the hands and arms, through the back, to the feet. This is good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's sitting in a jumper, he's effectively &lt;em&gt;sitting down&lt;/em&gt; and doesn't have enough weight on his feet to learn much from it. This is not good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the seat surface of some jumpers (as well as baby carriers &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babybjorn.com/products/baby-carriers/&quot;&gt;like these from Baby Björn&lt;/a&gt; is too narrow, allowing the legs to dangle straight down. This is also not good, because the hips are turned forward/downward, and gravity pulls the thighbones out of their joints. When sitting down, the thighs should not dangle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;Source: my physiotherapist wife.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-02T06:11:46.423" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T06:11:46.423" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2736" CreationDate="2011-09-01T22:07:06.593" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to teach them it's okay to not like every subject and simply try to instill a good work ethic. Explain that some things have to be done regardless of how fun they are and the long-term value of education. I think there is too much focus on trying to make everything fun*; plenty of tasks are chores and completing them is simply part of being a responsible person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that it's been reframed as a necessary chore, how do you motivate children to do chores? Two of the most common ways are rewards for voluntary completion and punishment for resistance or neglecting their duties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*too much in general; I don't see any flaw with your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2011-09-02T00:13:18.867" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T00:13:18.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-02T03:43:10.583" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many children grow up taking money for granted, and associating money with effort is a good lesson to teach when your kids are young.  I would add that you should also take the opportunity to help your daughter put a portion of her money aside to save, and maybe a portion to give to charity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T03:43:10.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2740" CreationDate="2011-09-02T07:58:43.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Left handedness does make a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.iched.org/cms/scripts/page.php?site_id=iched&amp;amp;item_id=lefthanded_handwriting&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.iched.org/cms/scripts/page.php?site_id=iched&amp;amp;item_id=lefthanded_handwriting&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Have the child use a hard lead pencil, such as a Number 3 instead of a Number 2, so that it will not smear easily. Primary or oversized pencils are not necessarily better for the left-handed child. In fact, the larger size may actually impede some children with small hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In grasping the pencil, the forearm should rest on the writing surface in a neutral position, with the hand resting on the little finger. This position allows the wrist to move freely. The wrist should be in a slightly extended posture (bent back), because this brings the thumb in a position where it can comfortably oppose the fingers. There should be a rounded, open web space between the thumb and fingers. This position permits freedom of movement through all finger joints and also allows the finger pads to contact the pencil shaft.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Teach left-handed students to hold their pencils about an inch and a half higher than right-handers, so that they can see over or around their hand; show them how to point their pencil toward their left shoulder. Suggest that they keep their wrists nearly flat against the writing surface, and prevent hooking by instructing students to keep their wrists straight and their elbows close to their bodies. It may be helpful to have a left-handed adult model the appropriate handwriting techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a link with some information about left-handed writing, and also about fine motor skills:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.handwritinghelpforkids.com/expert.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.handwritinghelpforkids.com/expert.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T07:58:43.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2750" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2753" CreationDate="2011-09-02T11:00:19.540" Score="45" ViewCount="5424" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question was inspired by this one: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2698/how-do-i-monitor-what-my-kids-do-on-the-computer&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2698/how-do-i-monitor-what-my-kids-do-on-the-computer&lt;/a&gt; which was deemed off topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully this is more on topic as I'm not interested in the specifics of how to monitor what my kids do on the internet.  But what general approach I should take, and what approaches others have used?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="802" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T18:49:48.147" Title="Should I monitor my child's internet usage?" Tags="|safety|age-appropriate|computer|internet|" AnswerCount="16" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2011-09-02T11:53:04.213" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;In answer to my own question, this is one approach I've thought about, and it would be age dependent, so something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;0-7 years, no unsupervised access.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8-13, unsupervised access allowed to a white list of sites, everything else blocked.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;14-16, no blocking, but everything logged, so I can keep an eye on them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;16+, no blocking, no logging. (Presumably I should respect their privacy at some point, and if I've had any success as a parent, they'll know about proxy servers by now).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="802" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T11:53:04.213" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2011-09-02T13:38:38.013" Score="38" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes,&lt;/strong&gt; I think that children's online activities should be monitored &lt;strong&gt;but I don't think it's feasible in practice&lt;/strong&gt; except for very young children. Older kids will always find a way to circumvent your control – but the good news is that they get more computer-literate in the process :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me it's the same as having someone supervise small children at the playground or any other public place. The purpose is to make sure that they're not hurting themselves or others, aren't hurt by others, and know/learn how to engage their social environment properly. The problem is that it's much harder to supervise a computer without being intrusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Blocking is effective but also very obvious and easy to circumvent, so it would only work as long as the kids aren't technologically literate enough to get around your block.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Monitoring is probably only feasible as long as it's invisible to the user. Once your kids suspect that you're monitoring their actions, they might just use other means (a computer at school or a friends' place). Another drawback with monitoring is that you've got to spend time evaluating the log files, which can be quite tedious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Alternative suggestion&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of blocking and/or monitoring, approach the computer and the Internet the same way you would the playground:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do you trust your 16-year-old to act responsibly while unmonitored? Because you've spent enough time &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt; and you've taught by example and by word what's right and wrong. You've seen that your child is able to fend for himself and can recognize and avoid bullies and bad places, and that he's not a bully himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is much harder to do at the computer – who'd want to spend hours surfing Facebook or other &quot;juicy&quot; sites with their dad?! And with all the mobile devices existing today, and crawling into classrooms too, this will likely become even harder in the future. I don't have a future-proof solution! :-(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One approach I've seen (which works for the time being) is to &lt;strong&gt;have a computer in the living room&lt;/strong&gt; or family room, or make sure in other ways that nobody can hide out in front of the computer. Whatever you do at the computer needs to be okay to do while others are watching - otherwise, what exactly are you doing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've recently moved my computer from a &quot;work&quot; room into a &quot;work&quot; corner of the living room, and even for me it's much more social now. I highly recommended it. Just now I realized that it incidentally supports the &lt;em&gt;&quot;show, don't tell&quot;&lt;/em&gt; philosophy. I'm not sure that's feasible for the kids when we only have one computer there, though. You could have a few laptops and a house rule that they're only used in the living room, but that might be hard to enforce consistently (especially if the kids have laptops for school, which they could then simply use outside the home).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2015-06-08T18:25:17.490" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T18:25:17.490" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2011-09-02T14:40:07.273" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use Trend Micro software on all of the computers in my house, which also includes internet filters. As suggested in other posts, I started out with very strict rules on which websites the computers could allow. My kids (now 12 and 10) each have their own logins so that I can set up different rules for each. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We regularly discuss what types of sites they are allowed to access. If a site is blocked that they believe they should be able to access, I'll allow/not allow it after hearing their argument. The software also blocks ads that could be an issue as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing is to have open discussion about what is acceptable and the consequences of accessing content that is not allowed (loss of computer privileges etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The software offers the ability to log sites that are visited, but I've never looked that deeply at it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My rule of thumb is to let the kids know that I will trust them until they break that trust. So far, it's worked well as they even ask before watching questionable shows on television.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T14:40:07.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2524" CreationDate="2011-09-02T14:56:43.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you are looking for something outdoors that contain adventure, I'd suggest an amusement park or zip lining/ropes course. Not knowing where in Australia you are located, I can't offer links to relevant sites. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have a price range in mind?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I'd suggest finding something that you and your son enjoy doing together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the memories will be the time that you spend together, not the actual trip itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T14:56:43.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2738" CreationDate="2011-09-02T15:58:55.867" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anecdotal, common sense answer ... I am sure that they are fine as long as not excessively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Common sense tells me that substantial walker use will delay standard mobility development, if for no other reason than the time the kid is in the walker scooting or in the jumper jumping is time the kid would spend on the floor trying to crawl or walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was an infant/toddler, we had a &quot;great room&quot; with laminate flooring, and she loved being in the walker and being mobile. We used it in small doses, 10 minutes a few times a week, such as when we were cleaning the kitchen after dinner. Once whatever task we needed to do was done, she would come out of the walker and go back on the floor or in a playpen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T15:58:55.867" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2757" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2765" CreationDate="2011-09-02T17:18:27.343" Score="9" ViewCount="496" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've just started feeding my daughter solids, and I would like to teach her to not blow raspberries while there is food in her mouth (which is cute, but messy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it possible to communicate to her what it is she shouldn't be doing, or is she too young to understand?  If she is old enough to understand, should I make an issue of this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T18:09:43.843" Title="Can you effectively influence the behavior of a 6 month old?" Tags="|infant|behavior|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2011-09-02T20:06:31.323" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would also consider time caps like you would consider for television: perhaps 1-3 hours per day depending on the age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would be glad to hear in the comments what caps parents are using and how are they enforcing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1476" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T20:06:31.323" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2759" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-02T20:59:08.783" Score="14" ViewCount="52464" Body="&lt;p&gt;my 4 week old daughter will not stop crying. We've tried everything from sucking, both on pacifiers and fingers to breastfeeding, white noise, movement, diaper is clean she doesn't seem to have a fever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried everything we can read about and think of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are both a little bit ill, the common cold and the baby may have gotten it and be upset but we are just at the end of our nerves when nothing helps our poor little one! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know anything we can do to help? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1167" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-02T21:29:04.017" LastActivityDate="2015-10-04T23:04:00.203" Title="Why is my newborn crying constantly?" Tags="|newborn|feeding|crying|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2759" CreationDate="2011-09-02T22:11:15.430" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;My pediatrician as well as several of my friends have recommended the book/DVD &quot;Happiest Baby on the Block&quot; for methods to calm a fussy baby.  Dr. Harvey Karp details 5 things you can do to make your baby feel like he is in the womb, which should calm him down.  It sounds like you've tried several of these, but Karp says if you try them at the same time and in this order, it works in most cases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Swaddle&lt;/b&gt;: Wrap your baby up tightly.  Make sure the top of the blanket isn't brushing his cheek and triggering his rooting reflex.  (My baby actually cries a bit &lt;em&gt;harder&lt;/em&gt; after I swaddle her, but it's an important step, and she calms down after I do the other steps.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Side/Stomach&lt;/b&gt;: Babies should sleep on their backs, but they tend to be more comfortable on their stomach or side.  You can put him facedown on your lap, or on your arm with his head in your hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Shhhhh&lt;/b&gt;: Make some white noise, and make it &lt;em&gt;loudly&lt;/em&gt;.  The ambient noise in the womb is about as loud as a vacuum cleaner, so &quot;SHHHH&quot; like you mean it.  I usually try shush just as loud as my baby cries.  You could also turn on a vacuum, which saves you from becoming light-headed if you shush too long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Swinging&lt;/b&gt;: Karp says that slow, rythmic rocking is actually not the best way of doing it.  He suggests short, quick motions.  (The DVD is probably best for showing that).  I usually achieve this one by lying down and putting my daughter face-down on my chest, then just scooting her back and forth-- she only moves about an inch or 2, and I &quot;rock&quot; her a couple times a second.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Sucking&lt;/b&gt;: This one is fairly self explanitory.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is an article with a summary of these steps: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/274&quot;&gt;http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/274&lt;/a&gt;.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-02T22:11:15.430" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2759" CreationDate="2011-09-03T03:11:48.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is extremely sensitive to hot and sweats a lot. This is now in our list of reasons for crying. (she cries to death when she's hot, and more so than when hungry)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd make sure she doesn't wear too much and she is in a fresh place. In these moments she will not want milk but she sill love to drink some water. Depending on where you live, that might be a factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also realized that babies are very sensitive to the parents' mood, tone of voice and face.&#xA;If you've been ill and upset (which happens to every parent) you have to work on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 4 weeks old I will not advise you to go out and play with her and it shouldn't be a teeth problem either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of babies cry for no apparent reason. If it &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; doesn't stop then it's probably time to see your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user896" LastEditorUserId="1599" LastEditDate="2011-09-24T06:46:18.680" LastActivityDate="2011-09-24T06:46:18.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2759" CreationDate="2011-09-03T03:39:13.687" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;When all else fails I try the following: Hold your baby high against your body, walk up and down a dark hallway, and sing to your little one. The walking is very soothing to them and the dark is relaxing. Additionally, a good technique is to firmly pat their diaper to the beat of whatever you're singing; don't spank them, but a good pat that helps them focus on the music can do wonders for stopping tears and will sometimes get out a painful burp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also understand that you may not be able to stop the crying; colic, which is periods of prolonged and seemingly causeless crying, is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumerreports.org/health/conditions-and-treatments/colic-in-babies/how-common-is-it.htm&quot;&gt;fairly common in infants&lt;/a&gt; and is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/162806.php&quot;&gt;thought to be gas&lt;/a&gt;. Just try your best to comfort your baby and talk to your pediatrician if the crying lasts for more than a few days or for extended periods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I'd recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://helpguide.org/mental/crying_baby_colic_comfort.htm&quot;&gt;this excellent article&lt;/a&gt; on the subject of colic. It includes a number of tips and phone numbers to toll-free help lines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you and your little one the best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2011-09-26T23:37:04.600" LastActivityDate="2011-09-26T23:37:04.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2763" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2764" CreationDate="2011-09-03T16:16:25.223" Score="49" ViewCount="6397" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two competing interests here and I'm not entirely sure how to handle this. On one hand I feel that the short answer, to questions about gods, of &quot;some people believe that, but it's not true&quot; is not only factually accurate, but protects them from the minority of people who would try to indoctrinate them as children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I don't want to force my children to believe a particular way. My entire childhood, my Christian parents encouraged me to make up my own mind and I consider it one of the single best things they did as parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also want to expose my children to various religious texts and mythology for their literary value, but without them thinking these things are true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose an equivalent question for me is this: How can I protect my children from religious indoctrination, while not pushing my views on them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2011-09-03T16:23:42.503" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T06:14:47.750" Title="As an atheist, how should I explain theism to my children?" Tags="|education|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|religion|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-09-03T17:15:11.897" Score="57" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As an atheist, how should I explain theism to my children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Treat all religions the same way:&lt;/strong&gt; explain that they exist, and that you don't believe in them, but you do believe that everybody should make up his own mind on what to believe / believe in. As a non-believer, this can be hard to pull off without sounding dismissive toward the concept of religion as a whole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a personal example, I'm strongly atheistic but mildly curious about Buddhism and Shintoism (for their peaceful history) while also having strong opinions against Christian and Muslim varieties (less peaceful track record), but I keep all this to myself unless asked. I'm sure &lt;em&gt;I can't&lt;/em&gt; provide an unbiased explanation to my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How can I protect my children from religious indoctrination, while not pushing my views on them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you can avoid &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; degree of indoctrination, regardless whether it's for or against. Whatever stance you choose, that is the view you're &quot;indoctrinating&quot; them with...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you provide the texts and mythologies as &lt;em&gt;literary works&lt;/em&gt; and not (as they're originally intended) as &lt;em&gt;works of religious fact&lt;/em&gt; then you're already saying that religion is mere fantasy. I'm not judging whether that's right or wrong - I'm trying to say that you can't &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; pick a side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you just manage to get across that you do believe that everybody should make up his own mind, then you I think can't do much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1978/109&quot;&gt;This related question&lt;/a&gt; and its answers might have some useful bits for you (please ignore the noise in comments).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt; You might want to browse through Dale's blog here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Meming of Life&lt;/a&gt; - it deals with wise but everyday insights by a parent who wants to raise his children with a thorough understanding of religion, but with the emphasis that religion is not &quot;true&quot;. There's lots of wise stuff in there, but the most impressive thing is that Dale knows a lot about religion -- when you've got your facts and references straight, you can argue much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T07:02:32.380" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2757" CreationDate="2011-09-03T19:49:36.003" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Raspberries are sounds that babies begin to produce between 4-6 months of age and can be made by blowing air through lax lips (bilabial) or by placing the tongue between the lips and blowing (lingua-labial). Raspberries precede the developmental stage of babbling and result from a child's efforts to gain oral motor control needed for later speech development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, raspberries are a milestone to be celebrated. Granted they are not very appropriate when eating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you have times during the day when you give your full attention to the raspberry play with lots of smiles and encouragement, but during mealtime, discourage the behavior through stark contrast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on refusing to reward the behavior by turning away and waiting until the raspberries stop before resuming feeding. Be consistent and if necessary use words and facial expressions to increase understanding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very young children respond to tone of voice and facial expression even when they cannot understand speech. Saying &quot;no&quot; firmly with a matching &quot;no fun&quot; face helps a youngster to understand that this behavior is not appropriate at this time. Smiling or saying &quot;no&quot; in a playful voice sends mixed messages and the word becomes meaningless. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be consistent and know that this too shall pass all too quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-03T19:49:36.003" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2740" CreationDate="2011-09-03T20:35:14.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is likely that your son has not enjoyed writing and is having trouble with gripping the pencil because of under development of skills needed for the process. Not because he is left handed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Writing requires not only refined fine motor development, but also, good stability of the shoulder; muscular development of the fingers; flexibility/stability of wrist, and appropriate visual perceptual skills. Development of these begin way back with crawling. Children (like my son) who crawl little or none often do not gain the strength and proprioceptive input into the shoulders and flexibility of wrists that is needed for good writing skills. Children with low tone or more &quot;squishy&quot; state of their muscles have even more difficulty with these areas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hand development is also a very important component. An occupational therapist can determine if there are any weaknesses and prescribe exercises if needed. Activities might include pulling tiny beads or objects from exercise putty and drills for strengthening the oppositional strength of the thumb and little finger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The wrist must be able to flex upward and sustain/vary the position as needed for writing. Working on writing or removing/placing magnetic or velcro objects on a vertical surface is one activity to practice this skill. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Movement requires stability. If the shoulder is not stable, movement for writing cannot be refined. Poor shoulder stability can be observed in some children as winged scapula. When the child stands with his back exposed, the scapula visibly protrude in a child with reduced shoulder stability. My son's favorite activity to work on increasing stability included hanging over the side of the bed and &quot;flying&quot; like superman.  We also did the wheelbarrow walk on his arms while I held his feet and he &quot;walked&quot; through the house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I encourage you to have an evaluation by an occupational therapist to get specific activities that will support your sons writing skills if they are needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-04T01:28:49.773" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T01:28:49.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-09-03T20:46:21.507" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer is going to be a simple one:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt; Teach them why you believe what you believe, and let them make up their own mind &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will have the additional benefit of teaching them to think critically in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1552" LastActivityDate="2011-09-03T20:46:21.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2011-09-03T22:59:22.317" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really urge you to read to your child for as many years as you can, literally. Read every night you can until it is just not possible anymore. My father and I read together until I was an adult.  He started by reading to me and then, when I got old enough, we would take turns being the reader.   Those are some of my best memories of my dad, and I am so grateful he did that.  It was wonderful to look forward to hearing the next chapter before bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It makes me emotional thinking about it.  There are so many &lt;em&gt;fantastic&lt;/em&gt; books out there.  To read them together provides a whole treasure trove of ideas, stories, characters, and situations that enhanced our relationship and discussions up until the day he died.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are bored with the books you have, get to a library and get some more.  The librarians can help you find books that are interesting to both of you.  Even if you don't find the books too enthralling now, you are laying the foundation for wonderful times in the future.  Persevere! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;May I recommend a few books that my daughters (and sons!) and I (and my wife!) have enjoyed?  &lt;em&gt;Charlotte's Web&lt;/em&gt; by E.B. White, &lt;em&gt;The Little House on the Prairie&lt;/em&gt; by Laura Ingalls Wilder, and &lt;em&gt;Betsy and Tacy&lt;/em&gt; by Maude Heart Lovelace are all fantastic.  For pictures books, let me suggest &lt;em&gt;When Jesse Came Across the Sea&lt;/em&gt; (can't remember the author), &lt;em&gt;Make Way for Ducklings&lt;/em&gt; by Robert McClausky (probably a different spelling), and &lt;em&gt;Peter Rabbit&lt;/em&gt; by Beatrice Potter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Happy Reading!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1427" LastActivityDate="2011-09-03T22:59:22.317" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2769" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2794" CreationDate="2011-09-04T01:50:04.420" Score="6" ViewCount="543" Body="&lt;p&gt;My friend asked me for guidance regarding her son, so I am passing the question on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her very talented son is a senior in high school. Since it is his last year at home, he feels that he no longer needs input from his parents. His is a very bright, well-mannered and popular young man who was home-schooled until 9th grade. His parents feel he has had limited exposure to &quot;the real world&quot; and that he would continue to benefit from their guidance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They do not want this transition to mar their very good relationship and create a problem between them. Yet, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Boys_Girls/They/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;research&lt;/a&gt; indicates that the human female brain is not fully mature until between 21 and 22 years of age and the male brain is not fully mature until nearly 30 years of age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friend recognizes the importance of the decisions her son will makes at this time in his life for impacting his future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are your suggestions? How can they promote his independence, but provide parental guidance and the benefit of their age and experience? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-10-14T18:30:03.293" LastActivityDate="2012-11-14T00:58:36.683" Title="What are guidelines for parents to use in giving advice/guidance to older teens?" Tags="|behavior|independence|teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2592" CreationDate="2011-09-04T04:07:13.290" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I asked my dentist, he said bring them in at 4 for a ride in the dentist chair and a quick fake checkup - it makes it fun.  Then follow his/her advice for the next appointment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1553" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T04:07:13.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-09-04T04:15:51.463" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would start with an explanation of what &lt;strong&gt;faith&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;belief&lt;/strong&gt; means in human mammals - theism in general requires (a possible blind) faith and strong belief, and before getting into the specifics of different religions, I think it is important they understand these concepts well.  Especially if you are including wider belief systems of how the world was created or what man's place in creation is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1553" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T04:15:51.463" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2731" CreationDate="2011-09-04T04:22:37.507" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was captivated by lights, and especially lights that 1) are in a circle or formation he can gaze at , and 2) ones that blink or can be turned on or off.  I found colored and blinking christmas type lights and he loved them for hours.  He was also attracted to shiny metallic objects and prisms and pieces of smooth glass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I was sort of against all the plastic textures in his life.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1553" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T04:22:37.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="205" CreationDate="2011-09-04T04:25:35.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://carseatblog.com/carseatblogcoms-recommended-car-seats/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; was useful for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1553" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T04:25:35.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-09-04T04:53:15.710" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I suggest you check out the excellent book &lt;a href=&quot;http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parenting Beyond Belief&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I suggest you might visit a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.uua.org/&quot;&gt;Unitarian-Universalist congregation&lt;/a&gt; if there is one near you, as my family has done recently.  UUs believe that each person is responsible for exploring and discovering their own beliefs in a responsible way.  Historically it was a Christian denomination but in the last 20 years has become pluralist with a majority of members being non-theistic.  The UU has no official doctrine or creed, but instead has principles and sources which I will list below.  There is a strong emphasis on learning about beliefs of world religions in a non-dogmatic way for both children and adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Principles which UU congragations affirm&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The inherent worth and dignity of every person&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Justice, equity and compassion in human relations&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A free and responsible search for truth and meaning&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sources from which Unitarian-Universalism draws&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the&#xA;sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the&#xA;rhythms of nature.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1429" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T04:53:15.710" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-09-04T05:03:44.850" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have very young children, you can't do much more than give a simple description of what God is, and say that you and many people think God is imaginary, but many other people think God is real.  If they're not yet sophisticated enough to understand that adults can disagree about what is real, or they demand to know what the answer &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt;, there's no harm in initially saying that God isn't real; after all, you're telling them all sorts of other things that they'll grow to question once they're older.  No reason to be incomprehensible to them just to try to be fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully you are &lt;em&gt;already&lt;/em&gt; teaching your older children to think critically about the world: to base beliefs on evidence, to know what is good evidence (what makes it relevant, what is sufficient to start to believe, how to tell whether information is true).  If not, it's never too late to start!  This is the best way to let children make up their own minds about everything: help them develop the mental tools to make wise decisions and understand how to evaluate evidence and arguments.  Theism and atheism can then be treated just like anything else: you present a little bit of evidence on each side and leave it to them to dig deeper (or dig deeper with them, if you and they seem interested).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T05:03:44.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2776" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-04T11:35:04.830" Score="15" ViewCount="4612" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most parents would probably agree that having a child will deeply change your life. But how does having a &lt;em&gt;second&lt;/em&gt; child change your life? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second-time parents won't be much surprised about the smell of diapers, or the lack of sleep. But surely there are some things that will put your life upside down &lt;em&gt;again.&lt;/em&gt; What should we expect and what should we not expect?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user413" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-04T18:31:11.483" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:06:12.450" Title="How does having a second child change your life?" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2777" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-04T18:50:51.203" Score="2" ViewCount="182" Body="&lt;p&gt;When it's bedtime for my  7-month son, it's always his mother who makes him fall asleep. When I try to get him to sleep so it ends with him crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips on how to get him to sleep would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1457" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-05T05:47:15.730" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T18:28:09.100" Title="How can I get my infant to fall asleep?" Tags="|infant|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2777" CreationDate="2011-09-04T19:51:36.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rocking, walking while holding, taking for a stroller or car ride and just lying down together all work well. Singing can be incorporated with any of these for better effect. I find the two most effective to be walking while holding the baby and taking them for a car ride.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2011-09-04T19:51:36.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2777" CreationDate="2011-09-05T02:41:51.333" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I ran into a similar issue with my daughter - every time I would try to put her to bed, she would just cry and cry and as soon as my wife walked in the room and picked her up, she would quiet down and go right to sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got through this by setting up 2 nights a week where it was my responsibility to put her down.  It was not easy to begin with but I established a routine and followed that and agreed on certain conditions with my wife.  The conditions for my wife were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I was putting her down, my wife would not enter the room unless I came out and got her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She would make as little noise as possible outside the room so that my daughter wouldn't look for her.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My routine has become...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensure she had fed adequately, is in a clean nappy and that her room is warm enough&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;let my daughter say goodnight to Mummy - a little cuddle and a wave goodbye and then a walk into the room and closing the door&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sitting down with Daddy on a rocking chair together and reading a book&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once the book is done, quietly rocking and singing until she falls asleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The times she is most prone to crying are when I close the door and when I close the book.  The crying upon closing the door often ceases once I distract her with the book.  The crying after I close the book tends to go on for a few minutes and then stop altogether once she realizes Mum isn't coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has worked for us 95% of the time.  Sometimes she works herself up into a lather and no amount of rocking, singing, cuddling or attempted distractions will calm her down.  This is often when she has had a very long day and is overtired.  In those cases I give up and bring her out to my wife.  I want her to be able to sleep with me but not at the cost of making her absolutely miserable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you luck, it is worth the effort to get your little one to fall asleep with you.  It gives your partner a break and bonds you closer with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1315" LastActivityDate="2011-09-05T02:41:51.333" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2776" CreationDate="2011-09-05T12:43:06.417" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I've found is that, depending on the age difference in siblings, you now have different levels of needs between the children - one needs an infant's level of constant attention and the other needs something different.  Switching between the two can be hard, especially when doing things like getting a younger one to sleep and the older one wants to do something else.  The major bonus we have had, especially if the siblings get along well like my two boys, the development you were used to with the first is now different as the second has a role model to follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is more work, it's definitely not proportional, since trying to find things that interest both children can be tough when going out, family outings become a bit tougher though it can be done if you manage it right.  Pretty much everything will then depend on the maturity and developmental differences between the two kids, eating out, holidays, travel and so on but you also have the benefit of experience with the older one in knowing what to do when.  Signs to look for when falling down, walking and toys - we have been better at choosing toys for our youngest after having gone through so many with our older.  Of course, if you also have two kids with the same gender, and still have the olders clothes then you have to do less shopping as you might still have many of the things you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-09-05T12:43:06.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-09-05T13:22:34.480" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a bit the same dilemna, but I'm more agnostic than atheist. Moreover, I live in China where religious education is &quot;sparse&quot;. I want my kid to have the choice, so I will probably push a little bit of religious education, even against my beliefs. I don't think atheist should be taught. But the cultural christian background is something I want for my kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe our context is very different. In a place with very strong religions, I would not let anyone fill the brain of my kid with too many beliefs, especially those I consider harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2011-09-05T13:22:34.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2757" CreationDate="2011-09-05T13:33:31.310" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In theory you can teach many things, even to very young kids, just by pure repetition and patience, but here the time you would spend teaching her to not do that, she would have gone to something else anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;should I make an issue of this&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not. I made an issue of my kid bitting his mother, which happened a bit later, mostly because there was a bit of violence testing in it. But your baby's raspberries are very innocent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice: Keep your patience and energy for more important things, you will need both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2011-09-05T13:33:31.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2776" CreationDate="2011-09-05T20:55:46.607" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found one child didn't change our lifestyle much (we could carry him everywhere in a papoose or car seat), but by the time we had a second child, our first was two years old so we then had to plan trips much more carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two years is a good gap though, as you can reuse old kit like buggies etc, rather than the two of everything problem twins would give you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three is a whole different ballgame - most holidays etc are designed for 2+2 - so we found having 1 child was a little bit more effort than none, 2 was a bit harder still, and 3 was really hard work for the first two years until the eldest was old enough to help out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-09-05T20:55:46.607" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2776" CreationDate="2011-09-05T21:12:34.710" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that I've found to be a big adjustment for second-time parents: Suddenly you can't live by the firm rule &quot;Sleep when the baby sleeps.&quot; With a toddler in addition to the baby, one is up all day and the other all night and somehow there's no time to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastActivityDate="2011-09-05T21:12:34.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2776" CreationDate="2011-09-06T07:17:21.267" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think having the second child really means more involvement from the other partner.  With the first, you also don't really relax, as you are afraid of everything, but with the second, you are not going to rush to the emergency room if they knock their head straight away, as you have been through it all before.  I have found with all the people I know, that the second kid is tougher, physically and mentally, than the first, as you do tend to molly coddle the first more.  I'll also say the second will be more independent than the first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you/partner is nursing, then the other one will need attention, be also aware that no matter what you do, the first will be jealous of the second's attention, and in time, the second with the first.  They just do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I talked about this the other day, whilst on holiday and we both agreed the step to have a baby was a real smack in the face, and real wake up call and you can never explain to someone just how hard it is having a baby for the first time.  We both also think the step to have #2 was equally hard, but from a different perspective e.g. I no longer could work when she was nursing, so had to get some time to do this elsewhere.  We'd also say it was more relaxing, as you are aware of what is going on, which you just aren't for a long time with just one child.  However, and delightfully, we've found the step to #3 much easier.  The kids adore #3, and the eldest is always helping fetch, reads to her, plays with her and generally is a benefit to have around her, and we feel this will only improve with time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in short, the step to #2 is just as hard, but in different ways.  It's also more relaxing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T20:06:12.450" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:06:12.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2702" CreationDate="2011-09-06T13:01:29.173" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the reason. In Germany the circumcision to deal with Phimosis is usually done just before going to school. This ensures that it is necessary and can heal before school starts.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1415" LastActivityDate="2011-09-06T13:01:29.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2790" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2792" CreationDate="2011-09-06T19:06:58.390" Score="13" ViewCount="34823" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have scheduled my first prenatal visit since I am two-months pregnant. One of my friends referred me to one of her doctors. I have been told by my friend that the first visit is the most important, and the longest of the series of visits throughout the pregnancy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My understanding is that I am supposed to see my doctor so he or she can answer my questions and concerns. The appointment I make is supposed to be with that specific OB/GYN doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my doctor was not available at the time of my scheduled appointment. The nurse told me that she had an operation to participate in. Instead, the doctor's office suggested that I should see the nurse practitioner instead of my doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The office also says that right now I can not choose any specific doctor for my visit. There is a team of doctors and nurses working together, so they actually don't know who I can meet each time I visit because my doctor maybe not available then. But there will be one available to take care me. Is these standard procedure in US? How can we be confident about the doctors since I have no single point of contact? Any one have any experience like this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I come from another country. In my country, there is a one doctor who is with you for all the steps from beginning to delivery. Is that valid here? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure that I misunderstood anything. Can any one help me explain what it supposed to be a usual process? Can a nurse practitioner replace an OB/GYN doctor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addition Information: I am in PA. The hospital that I went to is about 300 beds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1474" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-06T19:21:24.253" LastActivityDate="2018-04-04T17:04:03.647" Title="Is it usual to meet with a nurse practitioner instead of a doctor for a first prenatal visit?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2790" CreationDate="2011-09-06T19:27:05.460" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The hospital I did prenatal care with and gave birth at is part of PAMF in California, and they are a great hospital with a great reputation.  However, my doctor was also part of a group of doctors, so I had never met the doctor who gave birth to my baby when it came time to deliver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was not a problem for me, and (at least in my case) the doctors in a group together all know and trust one another-- so if you trust your doctor, you can usually trust the doctors in his group.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the most important thing is that you feel comfortable, so if you have a problem at all with the way your prenatal care is set up, you should definitely get a new doctor.  Your old doctor may even be able to help set you up with someone better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-06T19:27:05.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2790" CreationDate="2011-09-06T19:34:22.050" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Practice teams such as you described are not that uncommon.  My wife and I (also in PA) went to a hospital specializing in childbirth that uses the same system.  We met with a variety of doctors and nurse practitioners throughout our pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the early visits were with Nurse Practitioners and/or midwifes.  Later on in the pregnancy, every trip included an ultrasound and a visit with the doctor, but this was because we were listed as a &quot;high risk&quot; pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were a couple of times we had questions that the nurse practitioner had to refer to the doctor, but she always told us when she wasn't able to answer the question, and had no reservations about referring the questions to the doctors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to mention that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nurse_practitioner&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;nurse practitioners&lt;/a&gt; aren't just nurses.  They are experts in their fields, have masters or doctoral level degrees, and require significant additional certification above and beyond what standard Registered Nurses (RNs) have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, not all practices use this method, and there may be places you can go where you can have a single designated doctor.  If that would make you feel more comfortable, you can ask for a referral to a different practice.  It is very important that you feel confident in the care you will receive, and if having a single doctor will help, then by all means you should see what options you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind though that pregnancies are unpredictable, and women tend to go into labor when they (and the baby) are ready, and not when they happen to have been able to schedule an appointment with a doctor.  The chances of you being able to have a single doctor throughout your pregnancy &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; have that same doctor available for your actual childbirth are rather small.  The chances of you going into labor when the doctor is off-duty, or with another patient, are fairly high, which is why some people see the practice team method as a strong alternative.  Over the course of your pregnancy, you will get to know several doctors and Nurse Practitioners, so the chances of you having someone you actually know with you during your labor are somewhat higher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, it was our experience that we saw a lot more of the nurse practitioner during our labor and delivery than the actual doctor.  The doctor came in once to approve an unscheduled c-section, and then performed the actual surgery, and that was it.  All of the rest (all 8 hours of active labor) was our nurse practitioner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our Pediatrician practice is somewhat similar.  Whenever we schedule an appointment, we schedule with &quot;our&quot; pediatrician.  However, whenever we have to come in for a non-routine visit (sickness, injury, etc.) we wind up seeing whichever doctor is available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-09T18:31:26.453" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T18:31:26.453" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2702" CreationDate="2011-09-06T19:37:23.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience in hospital circumcision was not covered by our insurance. We were told to get an appointment with our pediatrician and they would either perform the circumcision or refer us to someone who does. We had it done about a week after the birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check with your OB.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check with your insurance coverage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look for a pediatrician or family doctor if you don't have one yet and check with them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2019-11-04T05:08:59.733" LastActivityDate="2019-11-04T05:08:59.733" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2769" CreationDate="2011-09-06T20:39:20.240" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ah, the arrogance of youth.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember going through a similar phase. My parents seemed like idiots when I was in high school. They just didn't get it. But as I got older, they got smarter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have some thoughts ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents need to be clear about the difference between being a parent and being a friend. When the choice must be made, choose parent. Parents need to be prepared that the kid won't necessarily like them when parental prerogatives are exercised.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents (in the USA) are 100% responsible for a kid until 18 years of age, and can be held legally responsible far longer if they are primary financial support for the kid.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is a huge difference between discussing and dictating. At this age, giving orders and ultimatums is unproductive. Parental positions need to be communicated &lt;strong&gt;and explained&lt;/strong&gt;.  Even if the kid disagrees, make sure that the reasons behind the parental position are known clearly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents are not obligated to financially support a child on a path with which they do not agree. Obviously, this should not be used for minor disagreements. It doesn't mean not paying for college because of a disagreement on the major chosen. It does mean not allowing the kid to spend the college fund on an acting coach or an apartment in Hollywood.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My daughter was always clear that once high school was over, she was either a full time student, or a full time worker. She is also clear that we are not a money tree.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-06T20:39:20.240" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2795" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-06T21:24:13.933" Score="16" ViewCount="5221" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-month-old has a set bedtime routine and will generally go happily to sleep - but occasionally (for no particular reason) he'll work himself up into a fit and cry for long periods of time, refusing to go to sleep. He can keep it up for quite a while. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband believes that we should just let him cry it out. I feel that you can't let such a small baby cry indefinitely without at least coming into the room periodically, although when he asks for a reason I find it hard to put my finger on why. I generally go into the room every few minutes, stand there for half a minute, and then leave, without talking or touching him - just as a sort of &quot;I'm here&quot; statement. Of course, when I do this he cries harder. (I think it makes him calm down faster in the long run, but my husband doesn't agree and I can't prove it :) ) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it okay to just let a 4-month-old (or even an older baby) cry? Why or why not? Is it something terrible, like I seem to think, or does it make no lasting difference to the baby (besides teaching him to sleep :) ), like my husband claims?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-07T07:07:01.350" LastActivityDate="2016-12-30T17:04:53.613" Title="Is it okay to let a baby cry at bedtime?" Tags="|infant|bedtime|crying|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2702" CreationDate="2011-09-06T21:40:04.510" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on all sorts of things. The big ones being cultural and religious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside of that, in the US, at least, male circumcision is still done. It's typically done a day or two after the birth in the hospital.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without passing any judgement, the only advice I'd offer is to think about it prior to the day. My wife and I didn't put a lot of thought into it and I wish we had. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-09-06T21:40:04.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2795" CreationDate="2011-09-07T06:03:46.267" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; article and its sources, the combination has a lot of depth. I'll summarize some of the high points.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The excessive stress from crying it out reduces long term coping skills for stress. The article I link &lt;code&gt;can lead to a fear of being alone, separation anxiety, panic attacks and addictions&lt;/code&gt; as well as a &lt;code&gt;10 times greater chance of the child having ADHD&lt;/code&gt; according to Harvard research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This direct quote from my linked source is too sad to edit. You need to consider that even if crying it our does work, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; is your baby not crying any more? You haven't fixed whatever upset them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;Researchers have shown that although leaving a baby to cry it out does often lead to the cries eventually stopping, the cries do not stop because the child is content or the problem has been alleviated. Rather, they stop because the baby has given up hope that a caregiver will respond and provide comfort. This results in a detached baby. Detached children are less responsive, appear to be depressed or “not there” and often lack empathy.&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read this article and don't let your little one cry it out. An infant is too young to understand that you're trying to make them more independent; they really do need you at this age. One of your most basic duties as a parent is to attend to the psychological and emotional needs of your child, if you are unwilling to do this, you should find another home for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not trying to be harsh or judgmental. But the question of whether or not allow a baby under, say, one year to cry without comfort is not a debatable one. When they're older, more secure, and have the language skills to understand what you're doing, that's a different story and there is certainly room for disagreement. But it is ignorance at best and simple, uncaring laziness at worst to think that denying an infant comfort will do anything but harm them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T06:03:46.267" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2795" CreationDate="2011-09-07T10:20:30.300" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a recurring question. I found good advices in the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1931686238&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Owner's Manual&lt;/a&gt;. The author explains that babies have some growth period during which they are more likely to cry. When babies cry, ensure they are not hungry and that their diapers is ok. Then you can certainly let them cry for a while (within limits, a baby crying for 3 days full time may have another problem).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book gives a useful trick: the 5-10-20 rule. You let cry 5 mn, then 10 mn, then 20 mn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T10:20:30.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2795" CreationDate="2011-09-07T12:49:50.883" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a lot of (very strong!) difference of opinion on this subject.  There are people who advocate for always comforting a child who is crying, and there are those who feel that it is okay to leave you children for varying lengths of time before responding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The former group tend to support the idea that not responding to a crying baby may lead to the baby becoming unnecessarily stressed, with the possible consequences of teaching the infant that their attempts at communication (crying) are ineffective, with potentially far-reaching consequences to the child's development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The later group tends to support the idea that crying at bed time is a problem caused by the child not being able to self-soothe, and while infants will eventually learn how to self-soothe on their own, there are techniques that may help them learn faster.  There are a number of divergent methods on how this is best accomplished, and one of the more popular ideas is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc&quot;&gt;Ferber Method&lt;/a&gt;.  The basic premise of the Ferber method is to put your baby down for bed while the baby is still awake, and alternate soothing the child (without picking up the child or feeding them) with gradually increasing periods of leaving the child to try and fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To quote Dr. Ferber:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Simply leaving a child in a crib to cry for long periods alone until&#xA;  he falls sleep, no matter how long it takes, is not an approach I&#xA;  approve of. On the contrary, many of the approaches I recommend are&#xA;  designed specifically to avoid unnecessary crying.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is worth noting that the various cry it out methods are generally targeted for children who have reached a certain age.  While I have seen claims that the Ferber method and other similar methods can be used as young as 4 months, most people seem to advocate waiting until at least 6 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I used the Ferber method on our son when he was 6 months old, and within 2 days he was falling asleep on his own without crying.  We started by waiting 1 minute before coming in to soothe him, and gradually worked up to 10 minutes in between visits (the first night; we never got past 8 minutes the second night before he simply fell asleep).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all children will respond as well as our son did, and some children simply do not respond at all to this method.  This is why it is important that you should consider your child's temperament before deciding whether you want to try to teach your child to self-soothe, or continue to respond when they cry and let them learn to self-soothe on their own.  I believe either method is viable, &lt;em&gt;depending upon the temperament of the individual child&lt;/em&gt;.  I think most children will be fine with either system, but some children will likely be strongly predisposed to respond more to one, and far less to the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also to be considered is your own comfort level.  If your child crying for 10 minutes at a time causes you undue stress, then you may be better off avoiding the Ferber method and those similar.  Remember: you need to be as free from stress as is reasonably possible, too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-07T13:02:59.963" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T13:02:59.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2802" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-07T15:19:20.217" Score="7" ViewCount="513" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is a very sociable child; she goes to kindergarten and has a lot of friends outside her kindergarten-friends circle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we're at the playground she is always the first to approach other children and make contact, but she is also very independent. That is, she isn't the type of kid who only plays near her parents; she is more of a &quot;run around and infrequently check if Mom/Daddy is ok&quot; child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is also physically developed for her age, i.e. not weak; quite the opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What really puzzles us lately is the ease with which she gives up in play situations. For example: the other day she was playing a game with half a dozen other children, and when a teacher signalled &quot;go!&quot;, she was the first one to get to the bag of toys, but after she grabbed one and was waiting for what to do next, other kids caught up. A few seconds later one of them seized the toy from her hands, but she didn't seem to really do much to stop them and in fact gave it up easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That type of situation has occurred more than once and it really worries us. As I said, she is not a shy girl nor a weak one, and we expect her to be able to stand up for what is hers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas on how can we help her to become more confident (not sure if confident is the right word here, because she does look quite confident) in situations such as described and be able to stand up (i.e. don't let the toy be taken away) for herself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user413" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-13T12:17:12.803" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T15:14:06.170" Title="How can I help my pre-schooler be more confident and assertive when other children are taking toys away from her?" Tags="|pre-schooler|activities|games|play-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2803" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2804" CreationDate="2011-09-07T16:08:13.767" Score="2" ViewCount="291" Body="&lt;p&gt;Currently I'm trying to create on in excel, but I'm wondering if I'm re-inventing here. I would like the option to customise the chores and behaviors and the rewards and assign different score values to the chores/behaviors. Also since my daughter doesn't always have to do a certain chore or can't be evaluated every day on certain things the scoring should be flexible. For the scoring I would like to have the daily scores add up to a weekly score for a weekly reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this too much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1569" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-07T17:57:14.433" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T19:52:46.460" Title="Looking for a daily/weekly chart that awards a child's behavior and Chore completion" Tags="|middle-childhood|reward|star-chart|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2803" CreationDate="2011-09-07T16:59:51.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing to keep in mind, to work, your child needs to understand it. You didn't mention the age(s) you're dealing with so it's hard to say if that's overkill or not. (though to be honest, I'm tempted to say it is for any age level that this type of chart would work for.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=reward+charts&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;prmd=ivns&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;tbo=u&amp;amp;source=univ&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=tqFnTvDMB_PXiAL68YycCg&amp;amp;ved=0CF0QsAQ&amp;amp;biw=1911&amp;amp;bih=1378&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;There are a lot of great examples on the web&lt;/a&gt;. Many of them follow the well used pattern of filling the chart to earn the reward rather than doing any kind of summation roll up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you mention the different scores, I suspect because you have both simple stuff (brushing teeth before bed, picking up toys, etc) and harder stuff (doing homework, helping with dinner, etc) for your kid(s) to do. One solution to that type of problem I've seen (and actually was subject to when I was a kid) was two charts. When the simple stuff chart is full, you get a choice... a simple reward, or trade it for a mark on the big stuff chart to earn up for the big reward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T16:59:51.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2805" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2810" CreationDate="2011-09-07T17:56:06.523" Score="8" ViewCount="4391" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a four month old and I wonder how much he would get out of being around other infants and children. I realize that infants do not actually play together, but I feel like viewing other children playing could be important for development. Do early interactions lead to better relationships with peers later on? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T23:57:21.303" Title="At what age should infants have playdates?" Tags="|infant|social-development|play-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2802" CreationDate="2011-09-07T18:03:14.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does she have the mental tools needed to express that she didn't want to give the toy up? (let's assume for the minute she didn't want to give it up.) It might be as simple as showing her how to stand up for herself with a simple &quot;Hey! I was playing with that.&quot; to the kid that took it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was the same way, until he learned those skills. Now he stands up to the bullies at day care that were taking the toys he was playing with and they've stopped bullying him because they know he'll stand up for himself. (Not that that is what was happening, but it can lead to that as she gets older.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T18:03:14.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2808" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2820" CreationDate="2011-09-07T18:18:56.910" Score="8" ViewCount="6347" Body="&lt;p&gt;I let my 6-month-old roll around on the living room floor.  She almost always heads for a cord of some kind (laptop cord, xbox controller cord, etc.)  I hide the power strip, so she doesn't have access to the outlets, but what can I do about the cords?  She doesn't have teeth yet, so I have a little time to figure this one out before it gets &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, how bad of an idea would it be to get her a toy of some sort that looks like wires? I can't tell if that sort of toy would be a good distraction from the real wires, or an encouragement to play with wires in general. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-19T12:13:00.517" LastActivityDate="2019-06-19T12:13:00.517" Title="How do you childproof electrical cords?" Tags="|infant|safety|toys|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2777" CreationDate="2011-09-07T18:28:09.100" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to have ways to comfort your son that are uniquely yours. Create a special song for your son that you sing to him every day so he starts to recognize it as being just between the two of you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you spend as much time as you can with him when he is awake so he feels secure being left with you. Hold him and give hugs and kisses, get down on the floor and play with him, and go places together without your wife. As the two of you bond more, it will get easier to comfort him at bedtime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T18:28:09.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2805" CreationDate="2011-09-07T18:35:11.113" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 4 months they're not going to get much out of parallel play yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is an important thing YOU can get out of it... talk time with another adult. There's a reason they're called &quot;play*dates*&quot;, it's kinda like dating when you were a teen... part of it is to get to know the other parents to know if over time these are parents you're ok with your child being over at their house playing with their kids in a few years when they're older. It can also serve as the only chance to have a normal human conversation during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T18:35:11.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2808" CreationDate="2011-09-07T18:45:43.987" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidsafeinc.com/product/308/Electric-Cord-Shortener-for-Child-Safety.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.kidsafeinc.com/product/308/Electric-Cord-Shortener-for-Child-Safety.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm personally planning on trying to have cords behind furniture like the couch. I like the cord shortener, but I'll probably do the same thing by bundling the cord and securing it with a rubber band. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing you can do is to have the cord run along the bottom of the wall and tape down the whole thing so it can't be picked up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a friend tape all of hers up on the ceiling to keep them out of reach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T18:45:43.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2803" CreationDate="2011-09-07T19:36:10.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We kept ours real simple: I printed up slips of paper that look like a coffee shop's loyalty program. There are two rows of squares: homework and housework. Each time she our daughter completes her homework or housework, she gets it stamped (just like a coffee shop). When the sheet is complete, she gets her pocket money. The idea is to keep is simple, fun and not intimidating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T19:36:10.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2803" CreationDate="2011-09-07T19:52:46.460" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instead of having a complicated system of points that are worth different values, simply &lt;strong&gt;make some rows longer than others,&lt;/strong&gt; and retain the idea that a reward is earned when a row is complete. That will make it instantly visible that some rows (simple goals) require more work (more marks) to trigger a reward than others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cabbey's idea of trading/investing in marks on another row is cool, and older kids would easily grasp it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T19:52:46.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2808" CreationDate="2011-09-07T20:57:52.237" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an engineer, my first thought would be conduit. If you get some 3/4&quot; FMC and leave it near where you use your portable electronics, you could slip the cord in when using it docked, then slide it out when you go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=flexible+metallic+conduit&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;rls=com.microsoft%3aen-us%3aIE-SearchBox&amp;amp;prmd=ivns&amp;amp;bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&amp;amp;biw=1264&amp;amp;bih=856&amp;amp;wrapid=tlif131542871156910&amp;amp;um=1&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;amp;tbm=shop&amp;amp;cid=16956098650228525017&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=stlnTsG5Kq_KiAK0m5i6DQ&amp;amp;ved=0CJoBEPMCMAU#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is a pretty cheap source for a short length and best of all, this has a non-metalic outer finish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T20:57:52.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2805" CreationDate="2011-09-07T22:38:31.527" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/408_when-can-my-baby-play-with-other-children_1368514.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; article from BabyCenter says that babies under 12 months will be interested in other babies and view them as toys, rather than actually play with them (no mention on if this is good for development).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children between ages 1 and 2 will play &lt;em&gt;next to&lt;/em&gt; another child--called &quot;parallel play&quot;--without really playing with the other child.  Not until your child is 2 or 3 will he be able to really play and interact with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I suggest that you definitely set up some play dates.  They'll be fun for you, and your baby can play with a new &quot;toy&quot; ;).  The article does note that babies can easily injure other babies because they don't know not to pull hair or grab faces, so you may have to watch carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-09-07T23:57:21.303" LastActivityDate="2011-09-07T23:57:21.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2816" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2991" CreationDate="2011-09-07T23:48:53.687" Score="35" ViewCount="7077" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son desperately wants to join the Boy Scouts, but I've had to say no due to the local troop's religious agenda.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been helping my friend try to come up with ideas for her daughter's new Girl Scout troop, as the activities have been incredibly simplified over the years (there are now only 15 skill badges brownies can earn, compared to dozens when I was a child, and the girls' books contain much more nebulous fluff and far fewer activities).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a &lt;em&gt;challenging&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;secular&lt;/em&gt; program that gets kids together to work on outdoorsmanship and citizenship, and gives them the chance to meet other kids with those values?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notes: Both children are in elementary school.  I'd prefer a coed program, but if there isn't one, a single-sex alternative would be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-09-01T20:01:40.490" LastActivityDate="2019-09-15T00:45:00.647" Title="Is there an alternative to Boy/Girl Scouts in the US?" Tags="|primary-schooler|activities|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2710" CreationDate="2011-09-08T00:11:58.050" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found this article that had helpful info related to this question &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/learning-to-walk&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most interesting info includes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes most babies about 1,000 hours of practice from the time babies pull themselves upright to the time they can walk alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The single most important requirement for walking: strong back muscles developed during tummy time while awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help practice balance and mobility by rolling a ball back and forth to a child once they can sit upright. Or hold a toy moving it from side to side to encourage leaning and reaching.  Crawling  develops strength in neck, back, legs, and arms, as well as more control of hips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him walk in front of you while you hold his hands. Periodically let go of one hand so he can experiment with balance. Or stand a few feet away and cheer when he's standing on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After mastering standing, arrange sturdy furniture so he can make his way across the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ideas shared in the other responses are excellent. Most importantly enjoy these times of growth and development as your little one matures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T00:11:58.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2816" CreationDate="2011-09-08T00:25:56.140" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;4-H (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.4-h.org/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;homepage&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4-H&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;) worked for me and my siblings. I won awards in local, district, and state competitions in public speaking, showing cattle, and cooking while holding various offices in the organization, attend camps and participating in special events and activities. The choices of activities are much less &amp;quot;farm centered&amp;quot; and varied in recent years. The program may be a good option for your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is more information from their webpage regarding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4-H is a positive youth development organization that empowers young people to reach their full potential. A vast community of more than 6 million youth and adults working together for positive change, 4-H enables America’s youth to emerge as leaders through hands-on learning, research-based 4-H youth programs and adult mentorship, in order to give back to their local communities&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With an expansive network reaching every corner of the country, 4-H is the nation’s largest youth development organization. More than 6 million 4-H youth in urban neighborhoods, suburban schoolyards and rural farming communities stand out among their peers: building revolutionary opportunities and implementing community-wide change at an early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4-H programs have taken root in more than 70 countries in North, South, and Central America, Europe, Asia, and Africa. World-wide, 4-H programs operate autonomously but all share the goal of improving the lives of millions of young people and their families. Around the world, 4-H has been proven an effective tool for agricultural and economic development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T10:48:57.410" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2816" CreationDate="2011-09-08T07:04:56.517" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're near water, an alternative might be a sailing club? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have great personal experiences with joining a sailing club as a child, learning and working with others, and eventually becoming a volunteer sailing instructor myself. That sailing club was in a rural area and had a very relaxed social atmosphere -- not at all the snobbish pseudo-golfer stereotypes that might come to mind when you hear &lt;em&gt;sailing club&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted, there's not much going on with &quot;badges&quot; and such, but you do learn a lot of practical handling of physical things, and tying &lt;em&gt;proper&lt;/em&gt; knots(!), and an understanding of the effects of the physical world (principles and effects of wind, waves, inertia of moving objects, safety and rescue, spring/fall cleaning and preparation, and so on). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also the important element of teamwork, and meeting others in the club's social activities as well as strangers during regattas etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps other sports clubs can offer similar benefits? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-08T07:59:43.963" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T07:59:43.963" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2808" CreationDate="2011-09-08T07:15:47.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than physically blocking access, we tried teaching it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked for us was to teach our toddler that cables are simply not to be touched. Of course he didn't learn that right away, but over time he's understood it. He's now nearly 2yo. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We taught him this the same way we taught him not to touch or do other dangerous things -- use whatever method you've found to be effective. For us, it was a stern &lt;em&gt;&quot;No!&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and moving him away when he started doing something wrong, or even just before then if we could tell what he was going to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; your daughter is attracted to cables -- is it perhaps because they're very pleasant teething toys? Even if she's not actually teething at the moment, oral stimuli are very important to infants, and the cables certainly provide interesting input for the fingers as well. Consider providing some actual infant toys that have some of the same aspects like this one:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/I4y8D.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/newborn-infant/b0a3/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/newborn-infant/b0a3/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T07:15:47.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2790" CreationDate="2011-09-08T09:21:45.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK, you never see a Doctor, as far as I am aware.  You simply check you are pregnant, arrange for a scan and go from there.  You have 2 scans, one at 12 weeks, one at 20 weeks, and if there are no issues, you simply get a due date, and phone the hospital when you are in labour, your waters break.  My wife and I, with 3 kids, have not once seen a doctor whilst rpegnant, apart from when we conceived the first, which was in Australia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have never seen a quack once, other than that.  I guess not really a valid answer, so it may get downvoted, but as this site is not US centric, I thought I'd add some othe rperspective; we have never been worried about not seeing a quack during the pregnancies.  On the second pregnancy, my wife gave birth at 7.30am and we were home at 9am.  I guess we all have different expectations from our health services.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="581" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T09:21:45.513" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2822" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2824" CreationDate="2011-09-08T11:28:27.807" Score="7" ViewCount="296" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always given our baby a bottle of expressed breast milk in the mornings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently my partner has decided that she is pretty fed up of expressing (I don't blame her!) and since we are now weaning our baby we figured it would be ok to start giving her some formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was quite happy with the formula for a couple of weeks and then suddenly decided she didn't like it. Now every time I try to give her a bottle she just struggles and refuses to drink the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I can do to encourage her to take the bottle again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am quite a snob and insist that she has only organic produce, which does limit us to a single brand, so changing the brand is not an option...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-08T12:09:30.850" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T20:09:49.287" Title="How can we introduce some formula for our baby?" Tags="|infant|formula|weaning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2816" CreationDate="2011-09-08T12:46:07.657" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could also try a local &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bgca.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Boys/Girls Club&lt;/a&gt;, they often have activities like that as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not for primary age kids, but when they get older you may want to keep &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.outwardbound.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Outward Bound&lt;/a&gt; in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/Venturing.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Venture Scouts&lt;/a&gt; is another option, though its more geared for older kids, as well as boys AND girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had reservations about the Boy Scouts as you, but I have some great memories of them and I never bought into the religious stuff.  Checking out my local troop (now that my son is old enough to be in Scouts) I found that there are troops that minimize the religious component so that my son can learn just as much as I did, and still remain a Buddhist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even Cub Scouts now note that there are different religions, where there are differing steps for meeting with your religious leader of choice for advacement, so in the past few years there are changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2016-04-28T17:46:13.023" LastActivityDate="2016-04-28T17:46:13.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2822" CreationDate="2011-09-08T12:49:43.517" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife mixed breast milk in with the formula for awhile, eventually increasing the formula until it was all the baby was used to.  At some points she had issues and also had a small bottle of all breast milk, so when the baby refused the formula she would start one bottle then switch.  Our kids mostly refused formula, and my oldest wouldn't take the bottle much, but it worked out when we did it.  Sometimes you have to trick the kids until they get used to doing things your way.  :smirk:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T12:49:43.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2825" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-08T14:55:51.347" Score="8" ViewCount="1629" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend claims that our infant (about 9 month old boy) is gifted because he is doing certain things relatively early, such as the way he &quot;speaks&quot;, moves around, eats, observes etc. That may very well be so. I have not studied when the different skills are to be expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming he is gifted, what ways are there to help him make the most of this gift? I am looking for suggestions for toys/things, activities, food, environmental factors etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1574" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-09-08T16:38:10.173" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T08:34:48.750" Title="What are some ways to encourage a gifted toddler's development?" Tags="|toddler|infant|gifted|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2822" CreationDate="2011-09-08T15:22:22.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, it looks like there are multiple options for organic formula. You just might not see them in the stores you normally shop in. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.earthsbest.com/node/12&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.earthsbest.com/node/12&lt;/a&gt;   &lt;a href=&quot;http://similac.com/baby-formula/similac-advance-organic&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://similac.com/baby-formula/similac-advance-organic&lt;/a&gt;    &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vermontorganicsformula.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.vermontorganicsformula.com/&lt;/a&gt;   &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naturesone.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.naturesone.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally wouldn't wean a baby who was born so early though. Preemies already have a lot of health issues, no need to give them formula which is harder to digest and isn't as good for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your heart is really set on weaning though, you probably just need to give it time. You could try gently rocking her as you give her the bottle and singing to her.                                                                           &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T15:22:22.323" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2825" CreationDate="2011-09-08T15:42:24.537" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let him explore with supervision. Having a special unlocked drawer in the kitchen (assuming the whole kitchen isn't off limits to him) filled with unbreakable things like measuring cups, spoons, a dish cloth, and cups will let him learn more about the world and what adults do. &#xA;This fall, let him pick up leaves outside and crush them. He'll enjoy the sound and it will be good for fine motor skill development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing to do is to talk to your son and tell him about the world around you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T15:42:24.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2825" CreationDate="2011-09-08T16:12:15.960" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 9 months, I believe the best thing you can do is what you would do with any child (gifted or not) and that is to encourage learning and exploration in every opportunity.  If you believe the child is gifted, you might notice your child advancing faster.  It would be a good idea to probably look at possible milestones for children at each month so you can get a rough estimate of what to expect.  Every child does develop differently, but they are some commonalities.  In short, just continue to give your child all the best and introduce them to a wide variety of things and take note of their reactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T16:12:15.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2822" CreationDate="2011-09-08T16:16:33.207" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting that she was happy with it for about 2 weeks.  Are you sure or have you checked if it has caused any irritation to the stomach?  If everything is OK, what if you try to slowly introduce the formula with expressed milk, for example half expressed milk and half formula and decrease the expressed milk while increasing the formula until she (especially her stomach) gets really used to it.  I had to do this similar thing when we had to give our baby an alternative formula to the one he was used to drinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T16:16:33.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="231" CreationDate="2011-09-08T16:17:53.180" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Age, experience, and enthusiasm are things to consider as well. I would be willing to pay a college student far more than I would someone in high school because of the difference in maturity and life skills. Also, the fact that a college student has bills to pay would yield a higher wage. &#xA;Enthusiasm is the most important though. Is the sitter going to watch television with the kids or take them to the park and play with them? I would want the person watching my children to actually take an interest in them and make sure they had a good time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T16:17:53.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2831" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2847" CreationDate="2011-09-08T16:34:40.040" Score="8" ViewCount="2539" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have tried so many things.  My 2 year old will drink water from a tea cup, drinking up, bottle with a spout or straw, but if I try to get him to drink milk from anything but his beloved born free bottles (with nipples), he refuses it and keeps throwing it on the floor.  I seem to have tried everything, except the cups with straws because I am not sure if this is a good transition (nipple to straw).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T19:12:30.163" Title="How can I encourage my 2 year old to drink milk from a sippy/drinking cup?" Tags="|bottle-feeding|drinking|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2395" CreationDate="2011-09-08T17:06:05.030" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tough call, since your son is suffering but it definitely seems like it is a detergent  issue due to the fact that it doesn't happen after you strip them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of the detergents you have used are listed as 5 stars in this list of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diaperjungle.com/detergent-chart.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;cloth diaper detergents&lt;/a&gt; but that doesn't mean much.   It may take trying several different detergent types to get one that your son tolerates and the more &quot;eco&quot; doesn't always mean better in this case.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure how much detergent you are adding but typically 1/4th the normal amount is the maximum (especially if you have a water softener).  You should also add about 1/2 cup of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diaperpin.com/clothdiapers/article_vinegar.asp&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;white vinegar&lt;/a&gt; to the rinse cycle.  This helps remove the alkali detergent. You can easily add the vinegar with a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.downy.com/en-US/product/the-downy-ball.jspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;Downy Fabric Softener Ball&quot;&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T17:06:05.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2822" CreationDate="2011-09-08T20:09:49.287" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could consider changing your routine a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby is 6 months old, it's a good time to start introducing solids (if you haven't already).  Instead of giving her a bottle in the morning, you could give her rice cereal with formula mixed in.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T20:09:49.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2395" CreationDate="2011-09-08T20:16:11.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How often do you change him?  If he is getting blisters from with Cloth, I would switch to disposable especially if he is not getting blisters.  Have you tried using something else like Dreft?  Last, but not least, what about asking your pediatrician?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T20:16:11.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2835" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2841" CreationDate="2011-09-08T20:19:16.413" Score="1" ViewCount="194" Body="&lt;p&gt;What factors should I consider when looking into Travel bottle warmers.  I currently travel with a regular sized one I use at home, but it gets too annoying having to carry it around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastEditorUserId="1576" LastEditDate="2011-09-08T20:38:35.213" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T04:00:35.000" Title="What factors to consider when buying a travel bottle warmer?" Tags="|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2836" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2837" CreationDate="2011-09-08T20:20:00.770" Score="3" ViewCount="136" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a follow-up question to my other question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2406/are-calcium-supplements-helpful-for-a-teething-infant&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son finally started teething and his first bud appeared around a week after the question was posted :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But now the teething has again stopped at that first bud. Its been almost a month and I don't see any more whites. The gums are still hard and he still chews on anything he can lay his hands on. I thought the lower incisors always came in together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure if this is normal or a cause for me to worry... Any clues?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1028" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T04:23:30.103" Title="At what speed do kids normally teeth?" Tags="|infant|teething|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2836" CreationDate="2011-09-08T20:27:40.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I can tell you this.  It can vary from child to child, but if you are concerned, I would recommend talking to your pediatrician.  Teething can last for a while though, my son was still teething up until 20 months.  I still think he slightly teething.  Also, you may not think your son has any more whites, but it may not be very noticeable, so keep that in mind as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T20:27:40.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2836" CreationDate="2011-09-08T20:27:58.210" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, it's normal.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congrats on the first tooth! :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teeth rarely come out in matching pairs, or at regular intervals, or starting with the front ones and then the next and the next. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might take weeks while nothing happens, then one or several will come out in short succession, then possibly a long period of nothing again. It doesn't matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T20:27:58.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2836" CreationDate="2011-09-08T20:34:44.563" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has been going through the same thing. No teeth through the gums yet despite being in teething mode for a month and a half. I've read that it can take up to 3 months for teeth to get through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T20:34:44.563" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2011-09-08T20:35:10.273" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't engage in any activity after they are in bed&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started this when my son was 6 months. If he would not sleep easily, we just used to turn out the lights and lie there as if we were asleep. Now he know (10 mo) that lights out means time to sleep and it doesn't take more than 15 mins of silence :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1028" LastActivityDate="2011-09-08T20:35:10.273" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-09-08T20:35:10.273" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2835" CreationDate="2011-09-09T04:00:35.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The factors that are important to you! But seriously:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously as a bottle warmer it needs to warm milk. Since it's warming it for a baby, it needs to not make the milk too hot, which requires either a timer or sensor. Assuming you aren't carrying around a generator, it needs a power source, probably a battery. You explicitly mention weight, so that's a factor to consider. If you have finite monetary resources, the price has to be considered. Consider where you'll be using it; an unstable warmer that requires a perfectly flat surface may not be practical when out and about. You also mention comfort when carrying, that implies the need of an ergonomic handle or gripping surface.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice when buying any product is to write its function, a verb, and the types of matter and energy it interacts with, nouns. Then establish requirements and preferences for how these nouns go through the verb process. I could continue walking you through this exercise as above, but no one has a better idea of your needs than you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose this is basically the modern design engineering process for idea generation applied to evaluation, but it's proven in the other capacity and should work well here too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T04:00:35.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2836" CreationDate="2011-09-09T04:23:30.103" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless he could have a severe calcium or vitamin deficiency (quite unlikely in industrialized countries, and you'd likely notice other effects), I wouldn't worry about it.  Tooth eruption is highly variable.  For instance, my son got his first eight teeth within one month of each other; on average it takes five.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T04:23:30.103" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2843" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-09T12:46:54.983" Score="1" ViewCount="350" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a certain type of games, where children are expected to run to a goal point (1)  and then to perform &#xA;something (2), e.g. to run to a bag full of toys and then quickly grab the best toy ahead of the others, my 3.5yo daughter gets the first part &quot;get to the goal point quickly&quot;, &lt;strong&gt;but after that she stops and does not dare to meddle into a group of kids who are already there and actively snapping up the toys, even though she was one of the first to get to the bag with toys&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that she waits until everyone is out  and then cries because all the &quot;nice&quot; toys are already gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example is when she was playing a musical chairs (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musical_chairs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musical_chairs&lt;/a&gt;) &#xA;and when the music stopped she was closest to the chair, but when she saw other girl who dashed after it, so she just stood in a stupor and could only do was to ask &quot;&lt;em&gt;where is my chair?&lt;/em&gt;&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She does not have the problem &quot;fighting&quot; for her toys, for example in a kindy when someone is trying to seize a toy from her hands, she holds tightly on toy while yelling &quot;&lt;em&gt;it is mine, it is mine&lt;/em&gt;&quot;. &#xA;The problem as I described it above is more subtle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user413" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-13T12:33:05.413" LastActivityDate="2012-11-14T23:19:24.600" Title="How can I help my pre-schooler be more confident and assertive in competitive play situations?" Tags="|pre-schooler|activities|games|play-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2844" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2848" CreationDate="2011-09-09T15:11:50.787" Score="10" ViewCount="489" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 month old is the most verbal baby I've ever seen. He has something to say in every situation. My husband and I tell him what things are, &quot;That's a truck. It moves along the road.&quot;. My son clearly recognizes some words, like &quot;hi&quot;, and I wonder if there is a way I could help him learn to understand and speak a little faster since he is so passionate about it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T03:23:47.790" Title="How can I encourage language development in my infant?" Tags="|infant|education|language-development|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2011-09-09T17:14:34.660" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an elementary school librarian, I was responsible for talking with students and parents about computer use. We focused a great deal about the very scary presence of predators on the internet. We encouraged parents to constantly talk with their children about what they are doing on the internet, who they are talking to, what sites they are visiting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know many parents felt like they were intruding, spying on their kids; however in reality just as it is our job as parents to monitor who our kids play with and what homes they are spending time in, it is also our job to monitor their internet usage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love the idea of keeping all use in family areas of the home. Not only does it help you be aware of what they are doing, it makes the dialogue that much easier - if your child is right there and comes across something questionable, they can ask. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also important to talk with your kids about internet safety in a similar way you talk with them about not taking a ride from strangers. Teach your child that sharing information that seems innocent can be dangerous. Every year there are cases of predators posing as children on the internet gathering crumbs of information from children for months before making their move. Children should never reveal their last name, phone number, address, school name - also, teach your children to carefully check the screen names of their friends - sometimes predators change one character and pose as a friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know when my daughter is old enough to use the computer it will always be in the presence of myself or my husband so we are there to guide her internet use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to all parents navigating internet use - it is a different world than when we were kids our parents only needed to monitor the neighborhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="1537" LastEditDate="2011-09-09T22:12:20.740" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T22:12:20.740" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2831" CreationDate="2011-09-09T18:46:38.717" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would take him to the store and let him pick a couple of cups for milk, &quot;Which cup looks the best for drinking milk?&quot;. &#xA;Then at home, give him an option between the cups, &quot;Would you like milk in the red or blue cup?&quot;. &#xA;He may be more likely to drink milk if he has some control over what he drinks it from. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T18:46:38.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2831" CreationDate="2011-09-09T19:12:30.163" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a speech language pathologist, I encourage straw cups over sippy cups! Spouted cups require generally the same oral motor skills as drinking from a nipple. The tongue is positioned forward under the spout.These sucking patterns are more immature and may actually impede the development of a more mature swallow and speech patterns for some children. Also, spouts are larger and require less lip tension than a straw. Straws promote keeping the tongue in the mouth; good lip, tongue and cheek strength and better oral control and coordination. These are all prerequisites to a mature swallow and good articulation skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child may tolerate changing milk from the bottle to a straw cup readily. If not, you may want to introduce the straw cup and have all the bottles disappear. Use of bottles and pacifiers extended far beyond the first year, promotes immature swallow patterns, impedes oral motor strength, and leads to changes in dental alignment and facial shape which negatively impact future speech development for at least some children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are not ready for a dramatic change, you might try diluting the milk in the bottle with water and offering the undiluted milk in the straw cup. Some of my parents have had success with this method. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T19:12:30.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2844" CreationDate="2011-09-09T20:32:55.537" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are a few things that I've read in books and articles about encouraging your child to talk:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Show excitement when he tries to talk&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him know that the noises he makes are important by paying attention and encouraging him when he coos.  As he gets a bit older and his noises become more developed (&quot;bababa&quot; or &quot;mamama&quot; instead of just &quot;aaaaah!&quot;), then specifically encourage the more advanced consonant sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Encourage him to copy you&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be anything from making faces to peek-a-boo to actual sounds.  If learns to enjoy imitating you, he will also begin imitating your speech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Have &quot;conversations&quot; with him&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's being vocal, coo at him and wait for him to respond, and then you coo back again.  This way he can learn the ebb and flow of how conversations work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T20:32:55.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2849" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-09-09T22:30:13.647" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband was raised with no exposure to religion of any kind. He does not even know if his dad is an atheist or just does not like organized religion. He has subsequently spent his adult life exploring and trying to understand religion and philosophy. This lack of exposure and guidance led to a great deal of confusion for my husband. I think regardless of your philosophy it is important to share it with your children. I also think as they reach the appropriate developmental stage, teach them to explore and question. I know my husband wishes there was more guidance in his childhood, not only to what his parents believed but also with the process of exploring other beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am relatively certain it is unavoidable to indoctrinate our children in some ways, but as long as we balance our beliefs with exposure to other belief, teach our children to question; they will find their own path. Finally, I think it is always important to teach our children to respect other people's beliefs. I know my parents always presented things to us as we believe this, they believe that - everyone needs to find a path that works for them, neither is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-09-09T22:30:13.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2816" CreationDate="2011-09-09T23:25:20.490" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;What about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.campfire.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Campfire&lt;/a&gt;?  It is co-ed and offers outdoor programs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option would be your local YMCA. I think they sometimes have programs for kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-02T00:22:44.430" LastActivityDate="2015-09-02T00:22:44.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2825" CreationDate="2011-09-10T01:11:29.543" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Giftedness requires challenging curriculum and the diligence necessary to acquire and execute many learned skills in order to produce academic success. Giftedness includes intellectual, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, and emotional intelligence as well as artistic or creative giftedness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gifted&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gifted&lt;/a&gt; intellectual giftedness is different from a skill. Skills are learned or acquired behaviors while intellectual giftedness is usually believed to be an innate, personal aptitude for intellectual activities that cannot be acquired through personal effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, gifted children need a WIDE variety of stimulating activities repeatedly in order to gain various skills. These activities should stimulate:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;intellect&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;body awareness &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;motor skills &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;emotional development&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;social skills&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a 9 month old, this will include exploration of their environment through physical manipulation, trial and error, and problem solving. As a parent, view every day events and surroundings with fresh eyes. Provide opportunities for self exploration in every part of the child's world. Encourage manipulation of objects in unique ways to develop a sense of mass, weight, texture, patterns, structure, sound, construct, balance, taste, reflection...the list is endless. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the true joy of parenthood: getting to discover the world all over again through the eyes of a toddler.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-13T00:14:19.343" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T00:14:19.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2844" CreationDate="2011-09-10T02:09:16.097" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The use of &quot;motherese&quot; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/reference/article/motherese-support-children-language-learning/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.education.com/reference/article/motherese-support-children-language-learning/&lt;/a&gt; encourages children to attend to speech and provides an exaggerated model of the intonation and inflection of speech which helps her understanding of &quot;talking&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he begins to vocalize, listen intently with direct eye contact and exaggerated facial expressions. When he stops &quot;talking&quot;, then respond with &quot;motherese&quot; stopping when he begins again. These exchanges teaches the concept of turn-taking which is necessary for &quot;conversations&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Playing peek-a-boo, tickling games and simple action games all provide opportunities for turn-taking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imitating a child's sounds exactly encourages repetition of the sounds and is the beginning of imitation skills. A child's first words will likely be reduplications of syllables such as: mama, dada, baba, bubu or single syllable words beginning with the earliest developing consonants such as m, b, t, or d. These sounds naturally occur from muscle development from sucking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continue talking to your baby simply, clearly and often. He may not understand what you are saying, but will enjoy and learn from your conversations. Look and point at the things you talk about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read picture books to your baby. Describe what you are looking at and make any accompanying sounds that matches the pictures. Reading to a child is highly correlated with school readiness/success. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Repetition of rhymes and simple songs is also idea interactions that support language in children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow your child's lead. Continue this vocal exchange for as long as he shows interest. When he indicates displeasure, recognize that he is ready to move on to another activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From about seven months babies start to use and understand hand and body gestures and natural signs. Express in words what your baby shows in signs and facial expressions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-10T02:09:16.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2844" CreationDate="2011-09-10T09:44:01.287" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you get to the point where you're asking questions try to ask questions that force an answer rather than just a yes or no response.  An example would be:-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Would you like some milk, or some water?&quot;, rather than &quot;do you want your milk?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-09-10T09:44:01.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="456" CreationDate="2011-09-11T01:39:14.877" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband was director of a daycare. In the US, every state has licensing requirements and periodically do onsite inspections at every facility. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can access the results of these inspections either through the daycare directly or through the licensing board. Information regarding inspection scores along with violations may be very revealing of the quality of the daycare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, in GA and probably other states, the facility must report significant events to the state including injuries on site and the state keeps a record of parental complaints and investigates each one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T01:39:14.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1898" CreationDate="2011-09-11T02:36:55.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found that the two best times for me to pump are first thing in the morning and right after a hot shower. My daughter spaces her feedings out more at night, so I pump shortly after I feed her first thing in the morning. I also find the if I need to pump at a time that is not optimal and I take a hot shower, I tend to produce more - I think it is actually just because my milk lets down faster. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found that I need to pump about 10-15 minutes on each side. It took me a while to really figure out what was going to work best for me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T02:36:55.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1898" CreationDate="2011-09-11T03:09:59.283" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The longer it has been since the last feeding, the easier it should be to pump.  (This is what I've experienced, anyway.)  If you pump a half an hour after your baby eats, there won't be as much milk left to pump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is don't worry about your pumping getting in the way of your baby's next meal.  If you pump 5 minutes before he eats, he will still be able to eat until he's full.  Babies are generally better at getting milk out than pumps :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T03:09:59.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2857" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-11T03:13:45.237" Score="5" ViewCount="286" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was laid off shortly after having our daughter. I have never been so happy to be laid off from work because I found that I love being home with her. She is almost 5 months old. I did work for about three weeks when she was 6 weeks old and it was the worst 3 weeks ever. It sounds like I will be recalled to work in the next couple weeks. I am very nervous about leaving her. I would love any advise on easing myself back to work. What are the things I should be doing to prepare myself, my husband, and my daughter for this return to work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="1433" LastEditDate="2011-09-11T11:00:32.523" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T04:54:26.183" Title="How should I prepare myself, my husband, and my daughter for my return to work?" Tags="|infant|working-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2858" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-11T10:38:47.130" Score="11" ViewCount="19130" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used controlled crying to help our daughter get to sleep easier at 6 months. This was hard work at the time but now, at 10 months, we can reliably put her down at the end of her bed time routine and she happily drifts off to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However if she wakes up in the middle of the night, it's a different matter. Controlled crying doesn't seem to have effect there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We seem to go through phases of good nights, where she'll sleep through, and then bad nights, where she'll wake up between midnight and 3am and then be away for three hours. If we do controlled crying, she spends this three hours crying, and at times really working herself up. She won't stop crying when you enter the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've recently lost patience and started trying anything else to get her to sleep. Picking her up instantly stops her crying but she just gets excited and happy. I have had limited success rocking her to sleep, but it takes a long time. One time we even let her play with her toys to see if it would tire her out, but she just played for three hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we need to know either what we can do to make controlled crying have the effectiveness at night time that it has at bed time, or alternatives for getting her back to sleep. Preferably ones that don't involve a lot of crying or are quick!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should add that although she's 10 months old, she hasn't got any teeth yet. These good night/bad night phases haven't coincided with any teeth so I'm not sure they're teething pains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="138" LastEditorUserId="3416" LastEditDate="2013-04-15T19:17:24.240" LastActivityDate="2013-04-17T14:49:32.650" Title="Controlled crying isn't working at night. What are my options?" Tags="|infant|sleep|crying|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1695" CreationDate="2011-09-11T11:51:55.010" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://linguistlist.org/pubs/papers/browse-papers-action.cfm?PaperID=23512&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; to one study that addresses the outcome of reading development in bilingual children. I've included most of the abstract summary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;An early age of first bilingual language exposure had a positive effect on reading, phonological awareness, and language competence in both languages: early bilinguals (age of first exposure 0–3 years) outperformed other bilingual groups (age of first exposure 3–6 years). Remarkably, schooling in two languages afforded children from monolingual English homes an advantage in phoneme awareness skills. Early bilingual exposure is best for dual language reading development, and it may afford such a powerful positive impact on reading and language development that it may possibly ameliorate the negative effect of low SES on literacy. Further, age of first bilingual exposure provides a new tool for evaluating whether a young bilingual has a reading problem versus whether he or she is a typically-developing dual-language learner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T11:51:55.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1021" CreationDate="2011-09-11T13:06:02.767" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter was given a pacifier in the hospital shortly after she was born - she was taken to the NICU because of abnormal breathing and was separated from me for a few hours. We were encouraged to bottle feed her in addition to the breast from the beginning so when it was necessary, it would already be familiar. At first there seemed to be no problem - she had one bottle a day from dad and breastfed the rest of the time. At 6 weeks, I went back to work and after a few weeks she refused the breast. Through a great deal of effort (and being laid off and therefore home full time) she returned to breast feeding full time and now will again take either breast or bottle. I do not think she has had any of these issues due to the pacifier, but it is one of those things that is hard to know. I know I wish I had had the opportunity to breast feed her shortly after birth have wondered if it was part of our difficulties in breastfeeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T13:06:02.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2862" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2863" CreationDate="2011-09-11T13:42:38.620" Score="10" ViewCount="316" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems like I will be recalled to work after being laid off in the spring. I am a media specialist at an elementary school. The schedule I would be assigned has classes back to back all day other than a 25 minute lunch most days. The way the schedule worked all of the prep time is loaded into one day rather than some time each day. I am worried that I will not be able to pump enough before work, at lunch and after work to provide the 5 bottles my daughter will need while I am at work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering if I have any legal rights to insist on my schedule being adapted to allow for time to pump in addition to my lunch time? I am committed to providing my daughter with breast milk her first year and I am afraid if I do not have time to pump during the day I will not have the ability to do this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I should mention I live in the United States.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-12T06:53:45.880" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T19:07:55.283" Title="Are employers required to accomodate pumping mothers?" Tags="|breastfeeding|working-parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2862" CreationDate="2011-09-11T17:40:14.710" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It turns out that most of these laws vary state to state. I did some research and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=14389&quot;&gt;this site&lt;/a&gt; has the US federal, and state by state laws relating to breastfeeding. In my own state, Oregon,  &lt;code&gt;Or. Rev. Stat. § 653.075, § 653.077 and § 653.256 (2007) allow women to have unpaid 30-minute breaks during each four-hour shift to breastfeed or pump. Allows certain exemptions for employers. (HB 2372)&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you are able to have such accommodations and I commend you on your determination to continue giving your child their nutritional best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2011-09-11T18:10:31.970" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T18:10:31.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2864" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2867" CreationDate="2011-09-11T17:58:09.187" Score="14" ViewCount="111335" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our apartment complex we have fire alarms that are outrageously loud. Last night, we woke at 4:30 am to the alarm going off all through the building. We got out as quickly as possible, but I'm worried about my 4 month old. &#xA;The alarm is loud enough to make my ears ring and even pretty far away from the building it was louder than I liked. The alarm rang for about half an hour and this is the second time it has happened since my son was born. &#xA;How much noise does it take to damage hearing and can early hearing loss be recovered if you are not exposed to more noise?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2016-07-09T17:56:18.727" Title="How much noise does it take to negatively impact an infant's hearing?" Tags="|infant|health|safety|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2864" CreationDate="2011-09-11T18:35:51.150" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sound volume is measured in decibels (dB). Hearing damage starts at 120 dB, although prolonged exposure to just 85 dB can also cause damage. &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sound_pressure#Examples_of_sound_pressure_and_sound_pressure_levels&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here is a chart&lt;/a&gt; that lists some relative values with examples. Damage can be temporary (e.g. disco), but if the noise was loud enough (e.g. explosion) then the damage can also be permanent. Talk to a pediatrician or your own doctor if you're concerned about measuring and treating any damage that has potentially already been done. Read more about noise-induced hearing loss &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/hearing/noise.asp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it takes a lot less volume to make your ears ring (especially at the high frequencies used by fire alarms), so luckily your ringing ears are not an automatic indication of hearing damage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fire alarms are of course meant to be very loud, so that not even the deepest sleeper would overhear it. But I do not believe that they would be &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; loud as to cause actual hearing damage. Although it's a fact that children's ears are more &lt;em&gt;sensitive&lt;/em&gt; than adults' ears, I don't think that a child's ear is more easily &lt;em&gt;damaged&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To &lt;strong&gt;prepare for future fire alarms,&lt;/strong&gt; buy some disposable earplugs at your local pharmacy. The best ones are made from soft wax (the size of a small marble) that you heat with your fingers and push onto the ear; talk to the pharmacist for guidance concerning infants. You can also get regular headset-style ear protectors (used in e.g. factories). These are nearly as effective and more convenient to use, but more bulky to store.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, when the fire alarm goes off, move as far away as you can and/or go sit in the car with all the windows closed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T18:35:51.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1021" CreationDate="2011-09-11T20:26:43.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our experience with nipple confusion (most probably caused by very early bottle feeding during the first days):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As our baby did not really drink at the breast on its first day, it was given a bottle in the hospital. This may have been the beginning of many problems (of course we'll never be sure), as in the following time&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby was not able to quickly get the necessary amount of milk at the breast, in fact it did not know how to suck correctly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;so it stayed at the breast for a long time resulting in bloody nipples&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we tried nipple shields to help him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we feared it would not get enough and therefore in parallel pumped and freezed milk and fead it with the bottle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;all attempts of nurses in the hospital and &quot;our&quot; midwife were not successful to teach the baby drinking efficiently&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Luckily, the pediatrician had the excellent idea to send us to a speech therapist (specialised in young babies) which stated that the baby just did not know how to suck correctly and efficiently and helped it learning it by stimulation of the muscles in and around the mouth by a kind of &quot;massage&quot; which we also could do at home (I think, it is called the Castillo-Morales method).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She also gave us special bottles which have a nipple much more similar (in its function) to the breast than the &quot;normal&quot; baby bottles. At the moment I don't remember the name of the product, it was something with &quot;play....&quot; and they had a plastic bag for the milk instead of  a rigid plastic bottle where the feeding parent could create pressure and therefore help the baby drinking at the beginning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So finally, after 6..8 weeks with really big problems and very much stress for everyone the baby started to learn being breastfed...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used pacifiers (I think, already in the hospital), but at least from our experience the bottle feeding might have a much bigger impact on nipple confusion than a pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T20:26:43.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2864" CreationDate="2011-09-11T21:06:13.777" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants are especially susceptible to hearing damage from loud noises because their skulls are thinner, according to the Women’s and Children’s Health Network. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are born with tiny sensors in the inner ear called “hair cells”. Throughout life, we lose hair cells very slowly resulting in frequent gradual loss of hearing with age. Loud noise can lead to the sudden death of many hair cells while exposure to prolonged noise results in continual and accelerated loss of cells. The cumulative effect of that loss results in earlier hearing difficulties for children who are exposed to damaging noise at a young age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, safe levels can vary according to the duration of the exposure and the loudness level. Noises less than 75 to 80 decibels (the equivalent to noise in a restaurant or in city street traffic) should not cause hearing damage, according to The Children’s Hearing Institute. A normal conversation is about 60 decibels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My research revealed that the suggested sound level for fire alarms is 5 to 15 dB above the normal sound level existing at the site with maximum at 110 to 120 db depending on the standard specs in different locals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the sound level of your alarms are above 80 dB (which is very likely) there is significant risk for you and your child's hearing. If their loudness in is the 110-120 dB  range the risk is even greater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I’d recommend that you get ear protection for yourself and for your child that will be readily available to use when needed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Per &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.e-a-r.com/pdf/hearingcons/NIHLChildren.pdf&quot;&gt;http://www.e-a-r.com/pdf/hearingcons/NIHLChildren.pdf&lt;/a&gt; there are no product specifications for hearing protection devices for children under age 5 years. The malleable (wax) ear plugs lose some of their protective quality in young children because the full amount will not usually fit in their ears. &lt;strong&gt;These plugs also present a swallowing and choking hazard.&lt;/strong&gt; Other devices include corded plugs pinned to a child's clothing and ear muffs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end of the reference above, there are photos of devices available for children. I was impressed with the Natus MiniMuffs adhesive earmuffs recommended for NICUs during use of ventilators, MRIs or emergency transport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The device you select should fit well and be comfortable with good sound blockage. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency requires all products be labeled with a Noise Reduction Rating (NRR). The numbers are based on optimum fitting in idealistic conditions therefore it is recommended that the NRR be used as a guide that the device was designed and tested for noise reduction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I applaud your awareness of the impact of noise on your child's hearing! As a speech-language pathologist, I work with children and adults who suffer from the consequences of prolonged exposure to noise. Thank you for presenting such a timely and beneficial question to &lt;em&gt;SE Parenting&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-11T21:06:13.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2868" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2873" CreationDate="2011-09-12T03:36:32.020" Score="2" ViewCount="974" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-month-old was upset today, and I couldn't figure out why, but she kept rubbing one of her ears.  I'm wondering if she might have an ear infection, and what other symptoms to look out for if this is the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(She used to pull on her ear while eating, like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/94/why-is-my-daughter-pulling-at-her-ear-when-she-is-eating&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; talks about, but she hasn't done that in a while, and usually doesn't do it unless she's eating.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T01:25:09.163" Title="What are some symptoms of an ear infection?" Tags="|infant|sickness|ear|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2868" CreationDate="2011-09-12T04:16:01.863" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crankiness and lethargy are the first clues that something is up. Nasal congestion is another. A low grade fever is the best clue to an infection of one form or another. Whether it is in the ear or not really doesn't matter .. the doctor can figure it out. The point when a fever becomes an emergency varies by age .. talk to your pediatrician. When in doubt call your doctor or another provider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think it may be a repetitive thing you may want to buy an &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;keywords=otoscope&amp;amp;tag=googhydr-20&amp;amp;index=hpc&amp;amp;hvadid=2246735111&amp;amp;ref=pd_sl_1z2qmusyxt_e&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;otoscope&lt;/a&gt;&quot; so you can look and see yourself if it is the ear or the throat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter had a problem with ear infections when she was an infant and toddler. I have nasal and sinus allergies and she inherited it. Usually they were provoked by nasal congestion that ended up in her ear canals. We learned to pay close attention to nasal congestion and treat it quickly with OTC meds, which cut (but did not eliminate) the ear infections. She pretty much outgrew them by kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T04:16:01.863" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2862" CreationDate="2011-09-12T04:28:46.180" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the USA, Federal law requires accommodations be made for nursing mothers to pump, but there are a lot of conditions and exceptions, including whether the employee is otherwise exempt from wage and overtime laws, whether the employee is covered by a collective bargaining agreement, and whether the employer has fewer than 50 employees. Local jurisdictions can require more accommodations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would go and see the HR person for your employer. If you are in a union, go see the shop steward or union rep. Unless you figure out otherwise, you can presume that they are required to give you breaks to pump, but are not required to pay you for those breaks or provide other accommodations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T04:28:46.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2857" CreationDate="2011-09-12T04:54:26.183" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am sorry that you will have to work. It will be as hard on you as it is on the kid.  It is also good that you are thinking about it now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Day Care&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This needs to get figured out quickly, because much depends on the day care you select.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Schedule&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Figure out what your morning schedule will look like, and move toward it immediately. You may need to adjust the feeding schedule and nightly routine accordingly. The day care you select will also have a schedule, which you should move toward during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other kids&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Make sure that your child gets used to being around other kids. Make more trips to the playground. Perhaps the day care you choose will allow you to have some shorter visits prior to actually starting the full schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nursing and Breast Feeding&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you are breast feeding, get the pump and supplies immediately and get comfortable pumping . Get your child comfortable feeding from a bottle, and feeding from people other than you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Napping&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It is likely that the lighting and noise level are different than your home. Get you child used to napping in a setting similar to the day care nap setting. You could use a TV or radio to simulate the day care situation, or have the child nap in the living room instead of the nursery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Separation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You need to get (you and) the child used to being separated. Try and ease into it .. starting with only an hour, gradually increasing to however long necessary. The day care may be helpful, allowing you to leave the child for a few shorter stretches to acclimate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T04:54:26.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2825" CreationDate="2011-09-12T05:38:30.077" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gifted is a useless term. Every child is brilliant to the parents, just as every child is beautiful to the parents.  Albert Einstein was thought a slow-witted child, until he found his talent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That the child may be &quot;gifted&quot; is not really relevant. The highly intelligent child will not learn differently, but perhaps will learn more quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Provide a stimulating environment. Listen to good music, have interesting things on the wall, eat a variety of foods, go to museums and local sites and events.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give the child access to &quot;creative&quot; things such as crayons, blocks, puzzles and musical toys.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to the child in full sentences, not in baby talk. Don't anticipate your child's wants and needs, force the child to figure out and express them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read aloud to the child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get the child interacting with other people (adults and children) in a variety of settings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play games .. strategy games, games of chance, physical games, word games, number games.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch and see how the child learns, and give the child more to learn in that fashion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short .. find lots of ways to give the child new experiences and opportunities to find a gift or talent. Pay attention, and tailor the world to their talents and their aptitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T05:38:30.077" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2868" CreationDate="2011-09-12T08:10:58.533" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not medical advice; I am not a doctor and I have no medical training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Childhoodillnesses.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/birthtofive/Pages/Childhoodillnesses.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They often follow a cold and sometimes cause a temperature. A child may pull or rub at an ear, but babies can’t always tell where pain is coming from and may just cry and seem uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child has earache but is otherwise well, give them paracetamol or ibuprofen for 12-24 hours. Don’t put any oil, eardrops or cotton buds into your child’s ear unless your GP advises you to do so. Most ear infections are caused by viruses, which can’t be treated with antibiotics. They will just get better by themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes people do not recognise that a child has an ear infection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Otitis-media/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Otitis-media/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chronic otitis media is a middle ear infection that lasts for a long time or keeps coming back. As the symptoms are often less severe than those of an acute infection, the infection may go unnoticed and untreated for a long time. This may cause more damage than an acute infection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a technical list for diagnosing symptoms:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cks.nhs.uk/otitis_media_acute/evidence/supporting_evidence/diagnosing_acute_otitis_media&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cks.nhs.uk/otitis_media_acute/evidence/supporting_evidence/diagnosing_acute_otitis_media&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Limited evidence from a systematic review suggests that the most accurate individual symptoms and signs for diagnosing acute otitis media (AOM) are ear pain, ear rubbing, a cloudy or distinctly red or bulging tympanic membrane, or a distinctly immobile tympanic membrane (on pneumatic otoscopy). Fever, upper respiratory tract symptoms, crying, restless sleep, and irritability are individually less useful, but no studies have assessed the accuracy of several symptoms and signs combined. These findings are limited by bias in the studies included in the review.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T08:10:58.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2816" CreationDate="2011-09-12T09:18:41.400" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK people could try the Woodcraft folk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.woodcraft.org.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.woodcraft.org.uk/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At Woodcraft Folk we believe passionately in equality and co-operation – everyone is welcome to join our groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Every week thousands of volunteers and young people meet in school halls, community venues and a host of other places to learn about big ideas through fun activities like singing, playing and debating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Our aim is to have great fun, but also to try and develop children’s self-confidence and build their awareness of society around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Through our activities, outings and camps we help our members understand important issues like the environment, world debt and global conflict and, in recent years, we have focused on sustainable development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;By encouraging children to think, we hope they will help build a peaceful, fairer world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Internationally they are part of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ifm-sei.org/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.ifm-sei.org/&lt;/a&gt; which is perhaps a bit left-wing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T09:18:41.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2858" CreationDate="2011-09-12T13:42:34.833" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is might be something going on which does not let you daughter fall asleep at night, e.g.:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is too hot &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is too cold &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her PJ is bothering her (if it is&#xA;synthetic try cotton) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is too tired when she falls asleep in the&#xA;evening (try earlier bedtime)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nightmares - make sure that she does not get excited before bedtime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T13:42:34.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2500" CreationDate="2011-09-12T15:06:27.990" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;By far the most effective way to teach self-control and the accepting of delayed gratification is to model it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Model Restraint&lt;/strong&gt;. Not getting the candy they want, but getting the Starbucks you want doesn't teach them anything. Noting that you want your latte or the nice shirt but are choosing not to get it teaches a lot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Model Discipline.&lt;/strong&gt; Eat well, exercise regularly, don't drink to excess. Take care of your body. Don't insist on dessert after every meal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Model Emotional Control.&lt;/strong&gt; Don't shout a lot, don't curse at drivers who cut you off. Even when visibly angry, control your behavior. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Model Financial Discipline.&lt;/strong&gt; Have a &quot;piggy bank&quot; or other visible means to save for things you want. Don't make impulse purchases. Have them see you decide &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to buy things because the money has a better use.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Model Spiritual Discipline.&lt;/strong&gt; If you are religious, practice the faith. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T15:06:27.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2877" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2882" CreationDate="2011-09-12T17:07:53.223" Score="5" ViewCount="574" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like most toddlers, my 3 year old has to be told to do this or not do that over and over again. Rather than hoping she learns over time through the inevitable trouble she gets in for not listening, I was wondering if there are techniques for developing and practicing good listening skills outside the context of disciplinary threats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="415" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-09-12T19:48:35.840" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T23:25:12.993" Title="What are some techniques for toddlers to develop and practice good listening skills?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2858" CreationDate="2011-09-12T17:19:44.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a baby cries, it gets more and more worked up. The sooner you can comfort your daughter, the less she will cry. When you let her cry for 3 hours it is understandable that she can't really calm down or sleep well because after that long she can't remember why she is crying. You need to pick her up. It doesn't matter if it violates controlled crying because ultimately you want what is best for her, which is to feel loved and comforted by her parents. &#xA;So, pick her up when she starts crying and rock her, which shouldn't take as long if you don't wait to do it. Make sure you keep the room dark and try to be as quiet as possible. Sing to your daughter softly and as you rock, she should fall back asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To check if your daughter is teething, feel her gums. They will be very hard and you should be able to feel the shape of teeth right under the gum. If you can't tell, schedule an appointment with your pediatrician and they can tell you. They will also be able to help you with finding a pain medication for your daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T17:19:44.780" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2858" CreationDate="2011-09-12T17:22:40.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child is waking in the middle of the night crying and isn't going back to sleep within a few minutes, then there is something genuinely wrong. It could be any one of a number of things (@jny provides a brief list), but regardless there is something going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As difficult as it can be with a 10-month old in the middle of the night, you need to try to figure out what the root of the problem is (i.e. what's causing your child to wake up crying in the first place) and address it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="889" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T17:22:40.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2858" CreationDate="2011-09-12T18:12:35.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pick her up if she doesn't relax after a few calm &quot;sleep now, dear&quot;. No lights. Rocking slowly is a good idea (do the Aikido torifune-excercise if you know how, in my experience it rarely goes beyond 2x50). The trick is to be both loving, comforting, and so utterly boring that going to bed seems like the better choice. As others have said, you must also be on the lookout for something wrong as well. Also note that the sleeping pattern changes before one year, for some children. It will stabilize, just keep calm (I know it's hard, I know).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you've been arguing, consider not doing it in front of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1590" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T18:12:35.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2877" CreationDate="2011-09-12T18:45:04.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that works very well for us is to &lt;strong&gt;let the child experience the direct consequences&lt;/strong&gt; of her actions, or lack of actions, respectively. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, if you want to go to the playground, give the order to put on shoes. If nothing happens, then you're not going. There are many situations where you aren't on a strict schedule and you can afford to spend the time to emphasize these consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T18:45:04.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2877" CreationDate="2011-09-12T19:29:26.737" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;To have your child hear you you need to have their attention. In order to have their attention you need to be in control of as many of their senses as possible, sight being the most powerful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we want to be certain that our children are paying attention and listening, we have them stop what they are doing and look at our faces (look into my eyes) as we speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That gives them time to detach from the activity they are currently in and guarantees that there is no excuse for not hearing what is being said to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also having them repeat things back at help to ingrain what you are saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, when they do the same thing over and over, despite being told not to. They aren't failing to listen, they are likely to be testing that your rules are always consistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T19:29:26.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2586" CreationDate="2011-09-12T19:43:40.740" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on what you want to achieve- do you want them to be good at simply following directions &amp;amp; producing a 'product' that looks only like what you want? Or would you rather encourage creativity, imagination, inventiveness, design skills &amp;amp; independent problem solving?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is so much time for limited adult-directed work when he is older, a young child's creativity should be protected at all costs, because it is very hard to regain it once the  notion that &quot;cats shouldn't look like that&quot; or &quot;this is the correct way to draw a face&quot; has set in- this attitude stifles creativity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the 3-4 year olds I work with, I prefer to provide a range of resources &amp;amp; techniques, perhaps demonstrate different ways of using them, then provide appropriate scaffolding during the project with open ended questions or prompts so they don't get frustrated when something doesn't work. e.g When making a door for a cardboard play house- we went to go look at hinges on a real door, then talked about what similar materials we had &amp;amp; the most secure methods we knew of attaching them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience this 'support' approach facilitates a wider range of deeper level learning, rather than just 'the child can follow steps 1-5' &amp;amp; produce something exactly as it says on the box. I would rather encourage entrepreneurs &amp;amp; inventors!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1591" LastActivityDate="2011-09-12T19:43:40.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2884" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2953" CreationDate="2011-09-12T20:07:00.170" Score="40" ViewCount="3896" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel there is a conflict between these two aspects:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids talk about current trends, and they talk about what's on television right now. I'm guessing that if a child can't participate in this, he would feel left out and possibly made an outsider. (That applies to any age, even adults.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to keep TV and media consumption as low as reasonably possible. I'm not fanatic about this, but I think that a significant portion of what's on television is too dumb and need not be watched (&lt;a href=&quot;http://gizmodo.com/5839265/science-says-spongebob-is-killing-your-kids-brains&quot;&gt;random example&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to force my child to be an outsider by  not being able to participate in such talk (e.g. by forbidding television entirely), but at the same time I don't want to give in and let kids watch lots of TV every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are ways to help a child put up against this peer pressure, without being left out?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm asking this in the context of TV, but it could just as easily be in the context of fashion/clothing, sports, or any other topic. Feel free to broaden the context if it helps create a better answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-28T15:32:10.693" LastActivityDate="2021-08-29T01:24:10.210" Title="How can I help my child handle peer pressure regarding television?" Tags="|primary-schooler|television|screen-time|peer-pressure|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2877" CreationDate="2011-09-13T00:40:48.473" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Non-complaint behavior may or may not be related to one's ability to listen. Sometimes, a child listens and clearly understands the &quot;rules&quot; or expectations, yet chooses to not conform. The term &quot;not minding&quot; is a better description than &quot;not listening&quot; for these children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, listening skills are foundational for many (probably most) skills. Yet, children are expected to just naturally learn to listen. As parents/teachers we often say, &quot;listen&quot; or &quot;pay attention&quot; and expect our children to &quot;just do it&quot;. We sometimes forget that listening is more than having sound pass through our ears and on to the brain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few years ago, I was introduced to a program called &quot;Whole body Listening&quot;. I adapted many of the ideas to use with children who are easily distracted or ones with limited attention spans. I find the strategies are simple and provide a multifaceted approach to focusing and maintaining attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The concepts are developed around listen with the whole body. We introduce each body part and describe/demonstrate the optimum behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eyes: looking at the speaker's face and attending to objects as directed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Torso: sitting comfortably supported, not slouching &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hands/arms: in lap, not covering face or &quot;fiddling&quot; with toys/distracting items&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feet/legs: still, resting without distracting movement&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I address any &quot;non-listening&quot; by reviewing the &quot;offending&quot; body part and describing, demonstrating the appropriate response.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, focusing on listening skills in a positive atmosphere will generalize to &quot;remembering&quot; behavior rules too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-13T23:25:12.993" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T23:25:12.993" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2868" CreationDate="2011-09-13T01:25:09.163" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tugging at an ear is sometimes a symptom of ear pain; however, this behavior can also be related to teething or a blocked eustachian tube. A blocked eustachian tube may cause sensations similar to those felt when flying or traveling in mountains. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The eustachian tube connects the middle ear to the mouth and can be blocked by inflammation, allergies, colds, infections or even milk. This tube opens several times per week when functioning adequately and normalizes the pressure in the middle ear. If it does not open regularly for any reason the eardrum becomes &quot;sucked&quot; backwards and can effect hearing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Visual inspection with an otoscope even by a specialist will often not reveal a retracted eardrum. Tympanometry is a specialized test that is painless and designed to assess the mobility of the eardrum.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ear infections are often present with NO observable indicators and is therefore sometimes called the &quot;silent&quot; illness. Any persist symptoms or concerns should be addressed to assure your child's health and hearing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T01:25:09.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-13T03:00:08.093" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Join a cult? Maybe move to Antartica? Become Amish? I dunno. It's hard to escape pop-culture. My kids recognized logos before they recognized words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TV is supposed to be dumb. That's what it's for...mindless entertainment. I think the key is moderation more so than dictating what they can't watch (age appropriateness aside, of course). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion: buy one Spongebob DVD and cancel cable. They can still be exposed to it to know what it is and talk with their peers...but won't be tempted/able to watch 4 hours of it every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T03:00:08.093" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2888" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2893" CreationDate="2011-09-13T03:30:18.917" Score="11" ViewCount="2319" Body="&lt;p&gt;As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, &quot;call home if you are going to be somewhere other than where you said you were going to be&quot; originated when my son told us he and his friend had gone to visit another friend without telling us in advance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would rather be proactive so that the boundaries are clear at the start. But I'm not sure what I need to have boundaries for! Be respectful and be safe need more detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens? And how did you arrive at these rules?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-12T12:09:10.847" LastActivityDate="2019-07-12T12:09:10.847" Title="What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|rules|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-13T03:46:37.313" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was not allowed to watch Soap Operas while I was growing up. As a result, there were lots of discussions in which I just could not take part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, our household TV-free. We do not have cable. We &lt;strong&gt;do&lt;/strong&gt; have internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that if your child is thirsting for information on the latest TV programs, they can research reviews and spoilers online. Benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;takes less time, no need to watch the whole episode and no commercials&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;encourages reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;encourages researching skills&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;increased use of imagination because they have to interpret the visual descriptions for themselves&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;provides sufficient information to still take part should they want to go to the effort&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a compromise. I hope it works for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T03:46:37.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-13T04:54:53.940" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you actually experiencing this problem?  Since I don't have kids this age, I can't answer from experience.  However, I feel that not having knowledge of current TV culture wouldn't be that big an issue, and here's why:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt; &lt;b&gt;Adults deal with it&lt;/b&gt;  &lt;br&gt;&#xA;You accurately pointed out that this issue applies to adults as well as to children.  If you had friends who followed football, and you didn't, you would probably pick up enough about football to follow and enjoy the conversations.  I believe kids can do the same.&#xA;&lt;li&gt; &lt;b&gt;Your children will do other things&lt;/b&gt; &lt;br&gt;&#xA;In the time they're not watching TV, your kids will be reading books, or playing sports or games.  Chances are, there are also kids in their peer group who enjoy that game or play that sport.  There should be plenty of things that aren't television that your child can talk to his friends about.&#xA;&lt;li&gt; &lt;b&gt;Being different is okay&lt;/b&gt; &lt;br&gt;&#xA;And it's never too early to let your child know that.  If your children rebel against your TV restrictions, it's probably a good time to discuss &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they want to watch more television.  Is it because they like the program, or because their friends do?  &#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you set the TV rules to a short and reasonable time limit, and disregard the social aspect.  You will probably have to have a discussion (or ten) with your kids explaining why they don't get to watch as much TV as their friends.  But as you've pointed out, TV is junk, and you need to do what you think is best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T04:54:53.940" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2891" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2894" CreationDate="2011-09-13T05:14:59.620" Score="8" ViewCount="11831" Body="&lt;p&gt;I put my 6-month-old down for the night a little while ago.  She was awake when I put her down, and less than ten minutes later with no crying, she was dead asleep.  I try this during the day, and she cries until I go get her.  She only naps in a couple 15-30 minute bursts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her nursery is unfortunately pretty bright during the day even with blinds closed (due to huge windows and a skylight).  It's also warmer upstairs during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My main question is: why such a stark difference, and what can I do to make napping more like nighttime sleeping?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T17:37:10.640" Title="Why will my baby sleep easily at night, but not nap during the day?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2892" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2896" CreationDate="2011-09-13T07:59:57.597" Score="9" ViewCount="374" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question is based on the following assumptions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I think that children learn by their success, if a certain behavior &quot;works&quot; to get what they want or not.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In consequence: A child should never succeed getting something e. g. by screaming or a tantrum, as it otherwise has learned: &quot;If I'm screaming (or misbehaving) long enough, I'll finally get what I wanted.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The problem:&lt;/strong&gt; Often the child does not want to do what it is supposed to, maybe as it wants the freedom to decide itself what do to at what time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not possible however, if there is not enough time to wait, e. g. in the morning if we have to go to nursery school to be there on time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Recent example:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Our son (3.5 years) does not want to brush his teeth and we only have some minutes left until we have to leave.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the evening I just leave him alone in the bathroom and say &quot;call me if you are ready&quot; and some minutes later he calls me on his own to brush his teeth.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the morning there is not enough time and if I am afraid if we just leave without brushing his teeth, he will learn that he just has to do everything slowly to avoid this unpleasing &quot;duty&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A similar problem is getting ready on time:&#xA;If I tell him, to put his clothes/shoes on... and he does not do it, what measures are there to motivate him to do it in time? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how could I motivate him to support me without using force?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-08T00:47:32.617" LastActivityDate="2012-12-08T00:47:32.617" Title="How to ensure that necessary things get done when time is short?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2888" CreationDate="2011-09-13T13:16:27.627" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think many parents do it differently from how you're doing it now. Every child is different, and while there surely are common threads among children there probably aren't as many as you might think. So, it's difficult to be proactive beyond some very general situations, e.g.:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Call if you're going to be late&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Call if you're going to be somewhere other than where you said you'd be&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Call if you feel unsafe and/or uncomfortable in a certain situation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also a lot of areas where parents' opinions of how to raise their children will come into play, such as whether or not to enforce a curfew, where a child is and is not allowed to go, who a child is and is not allowed to go with, etc. You'll obviously need to decide what these are on your own (or with your partner).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you'll need to decide who the responsible parties are in all cases. As an example, when I was young my mother would always coordinate directly with my friends' parents regarding what time I would be home, whether she was picking me up or the other parents were dropping me off, etc. I think this is probably a good approach for a pre-teen (and perhaps even a young teenager). But, as I grew older the responsibility fell upon me to provide my mother with the info mentioned above. Again, this is something that you'll have to decide for yourself as far as the division of responsibility for communication, etc goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last but not least, besides communicating rules you'll need to be up front about communicating consequences. This is something that I think parents fail to do too often, especially as children get older. Make sure that your child knows what the consequences are for breaking whatever rules you come up with. On the flipside of that coin, there should also be positive consequences for when your child faithfully follows the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="889" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T13:16:27.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2891" CreationDate="2011-09-13T13:24:50.850" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every baby's metabolism differs (just like every child's and adult's!)... she may just not be a napper.  Most 6mo infants wake during the night -- the fact that yours is sleeping better than most at night may mean she's getting enough sleep without the naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless she is acting sleep-deprived in some way, I'd not worry about it, and not try to force a nap routine... doing so may cause her to learn to fight sleep as a habit, and mess up the great bedtime success you've already achieved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T13:24:50.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2892" CreationDate="2011-09-13T15:59:26.207" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my children were younger, and sometimes now, I used a sticker chart. The one I bought had the chores pre-printed on it so I would change the tasks to the easy to do ones. Stickers are kind of an expense that I didn't want, so I started using a dry erase marker on their chart since it was laminated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every morning they would get checkmarks for making their beds, brushing their teeth, and brushing their hair. Then at night we would go through what happened during day care and at dinner time and they would get more checkmarks for using their manners, eating their food, and whatnot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helped me out a lot. Recently, I bought my kids (4 and 5) electric toothbrushes. They have brushes that play a song to let your child know how long to brush his teeth. The song will stop playing and then its time to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T15:59:26.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2892" CreationDate="2011-09-13T16:53:29.617" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've created a situation in the morning where he has no consequences for not brushing, so he's chosen to do whatever he feels like.  His behavior (that he will brush at night on his own time, but not in the morning where you allow him to avoid it) suggests that it's merely a control thing.  At night you let him control the schedule, so he sees no reason not to in the morning.  My advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wake up a little earlier so that you have the chance to insert something he really likes into the end of his routine -- a game, reading time, a chance to play with a special toy -- before you leave.  It must be &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; attractive.  If the entire routine isn't done in time without misbehaviors, there simply isn't time for the thing &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; wants to do.  That extra time in the schedule also means that when behavior is bad you can afford a round or two of time-out before you leave.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stop letting him control the night-time schedule.  Certainly some things in life are negotiable, but personal hygiene is not -- if your child doesn't get that some things in life are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; his choice at that age, you're going to have bigger problems than tooth brushing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, a 3.5yo can't typically learn from delayed consequences... &quot;you will be in trouble after school&quot; won't work, because the consequence is too far from the response for the child to associate them.  You need enough time in the morning to provide &lt;em&gt;immediate&lt;/em&gt; punishment or reward in order to teach him proper behavior in a way that is consistent with what you do the rest of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T16:53:29.617" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2843" CreationDate="2011-09-13T17:01:34.190" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your daughter may not have an issue with &lt;em&gt;competitive&lt;/em&gt; play, but with being rushed about and pressed on and pushed by a bunch of other kids.  Both of the games you mention tend to involve some level of pushing, shoving, and squeezing.  If she isn't &lt;em&gt;also&lt;/em&gt; having trouble with a foot race or a board game, or other competitive things, then the problem is probably the physical contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of kids, for a lot of different reasons, aren't comfortable cramming in like sardines for a chair or a prize, especially when it leads to pushing, shoving, being sat on, etc.  At that age, and barring any warning signs that there's some problem afoot, I tend to write it off as a personality thing and not try to change it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter seems to lack assertiveness &lt;em&gt;in general&lt;/em&gt; or to be reluctant to face competitive situations &lt;em&gt;in general&lt;/em&gt;, then you can worry about addressing the issue.  Otherwise, you may just have to explain that she can get in with the other kids, or she can wait and have fewer choices.  As I assume you aren't breaking piñatas every day, it shouldn't be a huge issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T17:01:34.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2898" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2899" CreationDate="2011-09-13T17:32:15.560" Score="6" ViewCount="6143" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 3 but often (and we are sure, concisely) acts like a baby, making gurgling whining noises, crawling about etc. Apart from being very irritating sounds from a three year old we don't seem to be able to convince her to stop. Do you think this is a common phase that she will grow out of or should we be trying something else to stop her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="771" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T09:22:23.793" Title="Why does my 3 year old keep acting like a baby, and should I try to actively stop it?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2898" CreationDate="2011-09-13T19:01:45.783" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's completely normal. She's just being imaginative. My daughter is 4, almost 5, and she crawls around acting like a puppy. Panting, barking, the works. It drives me nuts, but she knows that she is not really a puppy. I'm sure your daughter knows that she's not a baby, but she might think they are cute so she acts like them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could always praise her when she uses her big girl voice to talk to you by saying, &quot;I like it when you use your big girl voice. I can understand you a lot better than when you are pretending to be a baby.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll give out high fives or thumbs ups when I tell my kids they are doing a good job with manners, using big kid voices, or remembering to wash their hands after going potty. Kids love attention!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T19:01:45.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2900" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2902" CreationDate="2011-09-13T19:05:29.167" Score="10" ViewCount="4669" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2-year old son is going through a rough period - we have cut his breastfeeding to once daily (before bed) and his sleep pattern is changing and is therefore unpredictable. Lately, he will often wake during the night and as we refuse to let him to breastfeed, he will throw terrible multi-hour tantrums which include him hitting us. We think we know how to deal with them, it just takes time, enormous willpower and energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've had a dilemma lately: if he is sleeping and we notice that he has thoroughly wet himself (his diaper can't hold it all), is it better to change him and thus risk waking him into another tantrum that is emotionally hard on all of us, or do we (for the time being) let him sleep in wet sheets until he wakes on his own? My wife wakes up because she can smell the urine!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1595" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-09-13T19:14:59.277" LastActivityDate="2011-09-20T04:45:37.390" Title="Should we change a wet diaper and risk triggering a night tantrum or leave our son be?" Tags="|sleep|tantrums|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2900" CreationDate="2011-09-13T19:31:46.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why are the sheets wet? Are you not using a diaper?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming you are using a diaper and the sheets are not wet, I would suggest you leave the wet diaper on. Our nightly routine with all 5 of our kids included changing the diaper right before bed time (unless it was still &lt;em&gt;crunchy&lt;/em&gt;) and leaving it on them until the morning. Yes, it may be wet, but the diapers are so absorbent that they don't really feel the urine on their skin. Even if they do, you'll just bathe them in the morning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, in the rare case, your child develops diaper rash, then just treat it with diaper rash cream as you would otherwise. I've seen some people use ample amounts of diaper rash cream on their kids (particularly girls) before bedtime, whether they have diaper rash or not. We've never found much need to do this, but if it makes you feel better, go for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, in my experience, its better for your baby and your sanity to let your baby sleep, rather than being obsessive-compulsive about cleanliness. Urine is generally sterile, so there is nothing to worry about in terms of health. Yes, it can start smelling like ammonia, but if you have an absorbent diaper with deodorizer (which most modern brands have) then you're not likely to smell it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastEditorUserId="1637" LastEditDate="2011-09-20T04:45:37.390" LastActivityDate="2011-09-20T04:45:37.390" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2900" CreationDate="2011-09-13T19:36:09.697" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like a difficult position to be in, but if the wet diaper isn't uncomfortable enough to wake him up, I would let him sleep.  If you end up doing this several nights in a row, just make sure to check carefully for developing diaper rash or infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the mean time, have you tried overnight or extra-absorbant diapers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T19:36:09.697" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2892" CreationDate="2011-09-13T19:49:23.170" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Let him have his way and deal with the consequences.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Teeth-brushing won't work so well, since the conesquences (cavities) don't occur for a while.  But if, for example, you are rushing to get him to daycare and he refuses to put on his shoes, then take him to daycare without his shoes.  The teacher can keep him inside while everyone is outside playing, because he can't go outside with no shoes.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cancel your plans&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you are trying to get your son ready for a play-date and he is dawdling, tell him he has [x] minutes to be ready, or you are not going.  And then &lt;em&gt;actually don't go&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your son gets ready in his own time, all he sees now are neutral or positive outcomes (doesn't have to brush his teeth some mornings, brushes his teeth when he wants in the evening).  You need to set it up so his actions have negative outcomes, even if it isn't every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T19:49:23.170" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2011-09-13T20:48:59.483" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you monitor the books they read from the library? Do you monitor the music they listen to on the radio? Do you monitor the TV and Movies they watch? Do you monitor what they say and hear from their friends? If so, then I'd say yes... it's just yet another stream of content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, the easiest way to monitor, is to put the computer in a communal space with the screen facing away from the wall. Then when they're on the computer, be in the room, even if it's only occasionally. I'm sure you'll recognize the quick window focus change in a panic they do when they realize you walked in on something they knew they shouldn't have had up. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-09-13T20:48:59.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2905" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2908" CreationDate="2011-09-13T23:02:15.063" Score="14" ViewCount="10171" Body="&lt;p&gt;There comes a time when time-outs don't cut it anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normally, when my kids exercise poor judgement, I let them experience natural consequences. However, sometimes their actions go against what we are teaching them and the consequences are rewarding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When pre-teens break the rules or disobey, what consequences are appropriate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T09:55:04.733" Title="What consequences are appropriate for pre-teens?" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|rules|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2906" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2910" CreationDate="2011-09-14T00:23:13.300" Score="8" ViewCount="2741" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 year old always sits and eats dinner at the table with us but sometimes she doesn't eat a lot. We want to make sure she has enough to eat before bed so my wife doesn't have to nurse as much through the night. What are some healthy and filling snacks we could use to supplement dinner time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1596" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-09-14T15:22:44.457" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T21:11:14.467" Title="What are some filling after-dinner snacks for a 1 year old?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2892" CreationDate="2011-09-14T02:10:43.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might be good to learn about the various stages of childhood development and then assess where your child is.  There are certain &quot;sensitive periods&quot; (see Maria Montessori) where a child is ready to take on certain tasks and concepts.  It may be that your child is not there yet, or did not get what was needed at the proper time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understanding this may assist you in figuring out how to approach time and task management - if at all.  In essence, you may find less screaming (aka: I am not being heard) when you make more time to listen.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the toothbrushing example, it would be instructive to know how you taught your child to brush.  In our case (we have twins) for a while we did it for them.  But children are natural born curious learners, and ours were quick to take over.  We sang a song (in Japanese language: hamigaki), the verses of which mention the areas to brush.  We turned the whole thing into silly fun.  Since then the children brush dutifully.. especially our boy whose experience with dentistry - although good - was sufficient motivation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1598" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T02:10:43.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2905" CreationDate="2011-09-14T02:20:13.407" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the privileges they have.  Sometimes, giving them extra chores is appropriate (say, if they've broken something and you want them to make restitution.)  Many times, though, you'll want to take something away from them.  Anything short of food, clothing, and the roof over their heads is fair game-- depending on the severity of their rule breaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Items:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cell phone &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;computer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;TV&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;games&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Privleges:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Playing with friends&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Being driven places&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting allowance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad always used to ask us the trick question: &quot;What punishment do &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; think you deserve?&quot;  You can try that one if you run out of ideas ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T02:20:13.407" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2825" CreationDate="2011-09-14T08:34:48.750" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is very important to let the toddler play by himself and not be tempted to keep 'helping' him play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1476" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T08:34:48.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2906" CreationDate="2011-09-14T13:42:06.310" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-get-your-toddler-to-eat-more-healthy-food_1186688.bc?page=2#articlesection6&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;BabyCenter&lt;/a&gt;, your child's nutrition is actually a lot easier than you think it might be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A tablespoon of peanut butter spread thinly (large dollops can cause choking) on one slice of whole wheat bread with half a cup of whole milk will supply your toddler with 82 percent of his protein needs, about a third of his daily calcium requirements, nearly all of his magnesium needs, and about half of the zinc he needs in a day. It'll also fulfill a third of his recommended servings of grains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And just one banana and half a cup of strawberries will meet your toddler's suggested intake of fruit for the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/4725021.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This thread&lt;/a&gt; over at TheBump.com also includes a possible feeding schedule for a wee one that you might find enlightening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as &amp;quot;filling&amp;quot; goes, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/nutrition/healthy-eating/the-4-most-filling-foods.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;FitDay&lt;/a&gt; had this to offer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, the most filling foods are generally healthy options because they’re packed with nutrients, fiber and even protein. Consuming the most nutrient dense foods is the best way to keep yourself full throughout the day while staying lean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, stick to nutrient rich foods -- especially proteins! -- and you should be fine. Also consider adding a little fat to their diet with cheese; a lot of people (myself included) find that a little cheese after dinner is immensely satisfying, and is &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meal#A_multi-course_meal&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;not uncommon for a meal to end with cheese&lt;/a&gt;, depending on where you're from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T13:42:06.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2900" CreationDate="2011-09-14T16:33:58.243" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son had the soaking through the diaper problem when he was younger. I just switched brands to a more expensive one. I noticed the Wal-Mart or Target brand diapers didn't hold in the pee. The only brand that worked was Pampers. Luvs didn't even hold it in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like others have said before, change right before bed, and hopefully just switching brands will work. Pampers always has a lot of coupons out there and they even have a UPC program that gives out toys depending on the number of points you have collected from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T16:33:58.243" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2891" CreationDate="2011-09-14T16:39:35.073" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I noticed that getting the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.target.com/p/Roc-Lon-Blackout-Demintone-Window-Panel/-/A-11138369&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;blackout window panels from Target&lt;/a&gt; helped my daughter during naptime. Actually, they helped quite significantly. Before I had the money to get her curtains, I would just put blankets on the windows to block out all the light. Then just turn the tv down in the other room and make sure that no light enters her room from the hallway, or a little amount, it will make it feel like night-time. You could always lay on the floor in her room, if you don't have much else to do, and take a nap with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T16:39:35.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2891" CreationDate="2011-09-14T17:37:10.640" Score="2" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Light&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking from the experience with my son, sunlight is a major factor. I would highly recommend to &lt;strong&gt;find a way to block out the light,&lt;/strong&gt; and since you commented that this isn't easy, then my next recommendation is to &lt;strong&gt;have the nap in a different room&lt;/strong&gt; which can be darkened. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While napping in a place different from the night bed may require some getting used to, this might even work to your advantage because it clearly signals &lt;em&gt;nap time&lt;/em&gt; rather than &lt;em&gt;bedtime,&lt;/em&gt; but that's probably a minor side-effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Sounds&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from the sunlight factor, ambient sounds can also make a difference. I assume that you're already trying to avoid loud or unusual noises (&quot;don't vacuum during nap time,&quot; etc.) but you could even introduce new, soothing sounds. We discovered by coincidence that the sound of rain soothes my son very well, so we have a device to softly play &quot;rain&quot; while he sleeps (or at least while he falls asleep). Some kind of white noise or ambient sounds might help your child, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T17:37:10.640" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2900" CreationDate="2011-09-14T17:43:15.703" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other answers address the diaper-change well. Let me add: &#xA;Make sure to &lt;strong&gt;reduce the child's fluid intake&lt;/strong&gt; in the time prior to bedtime. Don't let him drink too much in the last 1 or even 2 hours, obviously except the good-night bottle if you have one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T17:43:15.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2915" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2917" CreationDate="2011-09-14T17:53:48.847" Score="2" ViewCount="2718" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 months and just started solids last week. So far, so good, until today. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife just told me that she thinks our son is having a reaction to something he ate. She said that his BM had the look/consistency of peanut butter and that he has a very bad diaper rash (with some blistering). In the last 48 hours he has eaten a few bites each of Earth's Best apples (yesterday) and Earth's Best carrots (today). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else seen something like this, with either Earth's Best brand or just with apples or carrots in general? If so, what did you do about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-14T19:46:31.043" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T19:46:31.043" Title="Is this diaper rash caused by starting on solids?" Tags="|infant|allergies|diaper-rash|solids|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2916" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2923" CreationDate="2011-09-14T17:57:01.137" Score="12" ViewCount="2368" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most tasks and chores can be taught by letting the child experience consequences, because those consequences are mostly immediate and direct (e.g. &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; going to the playground if the child won't put on shoes). That's &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/2892/109&quot;&gt;discussed in this question&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;But some tasks are mandatory&lt;/strong&gt; (like brushing the teeth in the morning, or other personal hygiene), but the negative consequence is neither immediate nor direct (e.g. possibly cavities after some months) and there might not be opportunity for removal of privileges before an extended separation from the parent (e.g. about to go to day care).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do you deal with these mandatory tasks?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do you come up with suitable consequences that &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; both immediate and reasonably linked to the task?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-10-15T12:48:30.307" Title="How can I make my preschool child brush his teeth, and similar mandatory tasks?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2915" CreationDate="2011-09-14T18:06:30.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that what you describe is a fairly normal reaction when introducing solids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try leaving out these products for a few days and see if the rash goes away. Try another brand (or even other foods) and see if the rash returns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T18:06:30.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2905" CreationDate="2011-09-14T18:27:03.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Besides taking away privileges, it is really important to kids this age to express themselves as individuals.  You may not always like what they choose to wear but sometimes it's tolerable.  Make sure you have given them enough so that there is plenty to take away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How they want their hair done.&#xA;A special pair of shoes.&#xA;Food they like to share with their friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they like to sleep in on the weekends.  Make them go to bed early and get up early in the morning.  Then have them do something physical; pull weeds, lifting heave objects, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1604" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T18:27:03.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2759" CreationDate="2011-09-14T18:46:12.873" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please check out this website.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.purplecrying.info/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.purplecrying.info/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What a lot of people don't know is that it is normal for babies to cry.  A lot of times babies go through periods of crying where they cannot be soothed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1604" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T18:46:12.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2915" CreationDate="2011-09-14T19:24:40.083" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking at peanut butter... remembering baby poop... not seeing much difference... could you be more specific in what you notice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never tried the &quot;Earth's Best&quot; brand, but carrots often cause constipation or other troubles when introduced as a first food.  My advice is to wait on carrots until your son has been accustomed to gentler foods (fruits, baby rice cereal, chicken) and before introducing straight carrots, introduce them in a mix with other foods (like the pureed chicken or beef stews).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure about the diaper rash: in my experience, allergic reactions and chemical sensitivities tend to cause rash at the exposure site(s), or an all-body rash, but not diaper rash.  I'd start by eliminating the carrots (for now), treating the diaper rash as you normally would -- including changing diapers more frequently -- and if it doesn't improve, talk to your pediatrician.  It may be coincidence that it cropped up just now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T19:24:40.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2916" CreationDate="2011-09-14T20:16:16.040" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At a certain time, the answer would have been a quick spanking or at least a swat on the behind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially, the parent always need to have something that can be done on a moments notice. Many of the parents I talk to allow children to pick one song on CD (or iPod) during the car ride and this is an easy privilege to take away. Some children have favorite articles of clothing. Taking it away and forcing them to change&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on where the child is going, it might also be possible for the care giver to help enforce the rule by taking away a privilege there. This is one reason why care givers and parents need to act as a team. So that rules and discipline are constant and don't change from environment to environment. Letting your child know that parents and care givers talk about behavior can be risky. Sometimes the negative attention can satisfy that emotional need so caution needs to be taken in how visible the conversation is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1607" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T20:16:16.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2916" CreationDate="2011-09-14T20:25:37.690" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not 100% that this answers your questions, but I'll take a stab at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-health/learning-to-brush-teeth.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;WhatToExpect.com&lt;/a&gt; has an entire article about getting toddlers (and, by extension, pre-schoolers) to brush their teeth. Their page has a number of tips for getting young ones into the habit of brushing, but the highlights, I thought, were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let your toddler pick the supplies.&lt;/strong&gt; Take your tot to the store and let him choose his own toothbrush and toothpaste. A colorful character on the brush’s handle may not inspire you, but it might make all the difference in coaxing your toddler to brush his teeth. Let him pick the toothpaste too, so that he’s sure to like the flavor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take turns.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brush along with him.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similar tips are found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everydayhealth.com/health-center/getting-children-to-brush-their-teeth.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. This link emphasizes reward systems for teeth-brushing, but I'd be wary of this, myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for punishments, the evening-time punishments are probably easier. The morning-time ones would be trickier, simply because getting ready for school/work is just generally stressful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one my parents used on me was, &quot;You can do it, or I can do it for you,&quot; and I always choose to do it myself, 'cause my parents brushed &lt;em&gt;hard&lt;/em&gt;. Other things that I've seen work: packing a less-than-stellar lunch as a result, remembering that they didn't brush their teeth and so not getting to watch TV after school, and, once, when it was a chronic problem, asking the teacher to keep the child inside during recess because they hadn't brushed! That last one is definitely extreme, but making it clear that consequences don't go away, even when they're later, are just as important, in my humble opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastActivityDate="2011-09-14T20:25:37.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2924" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-14T23:15:12.510" Score="16" ViewCount="22994" Body="&lt;p&gt;My home entertainment system is a mess - there are cables, remote controls, various units, multiple plugs, DVDs, Blu-Ray disks, corners, glass bits and other various components which make for a fun but very dangerous place for a baby to crawl to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help baby proof the system (besides do my best to make sure he never gets to it)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="140" LastActivityDate="2014-05-11T06:41:16.840" Title="What can I do to baby-proof my home entertainment system?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2759" CreationDate="2011-09-15T04:03:08.427" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, it is very likely normal for your baby to cry and you need to ration your strength. Make sure both parents and other caregivers give each other breaks from the crying to recover. If it is just the two of you please find some help. Even as little as a couple hours once a week is important for your health and ability to have perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, strategies for crying. Go through a cry reasons checklist in your head every time until your reaction is automatic, here's mine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wet (change diaper)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hungry (feed)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gas (Burp)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cold/Hot (adjust amount of bed clothes)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Uncomfortable (check the baby's body for anything that could be an irritant: don't overlook things like clothing tags, detergent used, a hair wrapped around a baby's toe, perfume on a parent)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tired (soothe and later ignore)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Upset/Angry (try to remedy the upsetting environment, soothe, or ignore)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have a checklist in mind you need to keep track of a crazy amount of stuff: what is the baby eating, when, when is the baby sleeping, how long, any burps, how about diaper changes, and so on. If you have these things in mind you can start to identify what leads to crying in your baby. Keep it all in a little notebook and bring it with you to doctor visits just in case to help remind you of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T04:03:08.427" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2924" CreationDate="2011-09-15T06:32:33.053" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some things I did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Enclose home entertainmentequipment behind / inside baby gates: very effective, but can limit your experience if the TV is lower than the gate ;-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Replace n-speaker system with a soundbar + subwoofer. Much fewer cables and all in one spot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put baby locks on all drawers storing remotes, DVDs, games, ...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="548" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T06:32:33.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2924" CreationDate="2011-09-15T08:08:37.390" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can buy &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B002SG7JSU&quot;&gt;corner guards&lt;/a&gt; to go on sharp corners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0015NLFFA&quot;&gt;Cables can be routed through cable ducts&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there are various ways of &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00442IDEK&quot;&gt;securing a television&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However - and I guess this doesn't really answer the question - what I've ended up doing is not leaving my baby unsupervised near the entertainment system, and giving a firm &quot;NO!&quot; and then moving him away when he tries to touch it. This has actually worked and after repeatedly doing this, he now almost never goes near it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="802" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-15T12:10:30.573" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T12:10:30.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2916" CreationDate="2011-09-15T12:11:31.267" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is probably not for everyone and some people probably don't have the patience or time for it but almost every daily routine in our family is done by the entire family at the same time. When it's time for the nightly routine of brushing the teeth we cram the whole pack (4 of us total) in the bathroom and do it together. My 1 year old LOVES brushing her teeth. We can't get the brush away from her. It also helps us make sure our 10 year old is brushing properly. Eventually it just becomes a habit and is usually pretty fun when the entire family is involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1596" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T12:11:31.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2924" CreationDate="2011-09-15T13:52:45.337" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wires and delicate electronics need to be kept away from young children for a long time unless you're fond of frequent replacement and missing equipment. And of course there is the risk of the child getting hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most expensive answer is to replace the furniture. Many companies make entertainment centers like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/30144733&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; from Ikea. It hides all the equipment and wires and secures a flat planel from tipping over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wires from speaker systems can be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.avsforum.com/avs-vb/showthread.php?t=799164&quot;&gt;routed through walls&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://cableorganizer.com/articles/Which-Speaker-Wire-Cover.html&quot;&gt;hidden&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barriers to access like baby gates work as short term solutions, but I haven't met anyone who tried it and was satisfied for more than a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://preparedness.com/earprep.html&quot;&gt;Earthquake&lt;/a&gt; kits do a good job of keeping things from tipping over, but don't protect the wires or the electronics from poking and innappropriate usage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remote controls are a frequent target of young hands. They see us play with them all the time so it is only natural that baby wants to see what the fun is all about. If you have the typical home theater, you probably have accumulated 5 or 6 and keeping them all safe is tricky. Replacing them is a powerful universal remote like a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.logitech.com/en-us/remotes/universal-remotes&quot;&gt;Harmony&lt;/a&gt; can make life easier. Plus they're kind of awesome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lowest cost approach is to take away some items and pack them away until your child is older. There is life without television after all. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1607" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T13:52:45.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2905" CreationDate="2011-09-15T15:58:16.613" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Developmentally, preteens and teens are at the age they are supposed to question everything. This makes for some delightful challenges. The piece that helps with their questioning is that they also like to feel like they have some ownership or control over their life. It is absolutely appropriate at that age to sit down with your children and review the family rules and discuss them - find out what your children think of the rules - are there any they think should be added, amended or deleted. Ask them to justify any changes they are proposing and afford them the same. The more you involve children in these age groups with decisions, and explain the though behind them, the better decision makers they will be when you are not standing next to them. Additionally, ask them to help establish consequences. Depending on your child's personality, writing these out and posting them may have a great power for avoiding consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is additionally important to have behaviors that will earn rewards and discuss those along with what the rewards will be. Most tweens are still very interested in pleasing adults and if they know that sweeping the kitchen floor will earn them a reward (thereby letting them know it has pleased you) they are more likely to complete the task. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do recall the &quot;worst&quot; punishment from my parents at that age was having a discussion about my bad decision, what was so bad about it, how I was going to rectify it and what I was going to do in the future - they were agonizing talks at the time, but they taught me how to think about results of decisions I make, eventually I was able to foresee the discussion and therefore avoid the behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T15:58:16.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-15T16:05:07.697" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consider your premise for a moment; you are claiming that it is desirable for your children to seek social approval from people who engage in activity you consider mindless and bad. I would change your focus slightly. Teach children that it's okay to be left out of things and that they don't need another's approval to engage in or abstain from an activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also try moving in different circles. If these people don't have common interests with your children, there is no reason to socialize with them. It's good to be cordial and kind to such people in a professional/educational context, but friends can be made elsewhere. Maybe your children could play sports, join an academic or music club, or pursue some other hobby with like-minded people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the problem is not being able to avoid the stuff at school, remember that school is a place to learn, not a social club. If your child's is more the latter, consider enrolling them in a school with more of an academic focus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2011-10-12T05:05:25.967" LastActivityDate="2011-10-12T05:05:25.967" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2933" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-15T18:53:38.600" Score="14" ViewCount="1885" Body="&lt;p&gt;My fiancee and her two daughters (8 years old and 4 years old) live with me and my two sons (7 years old and 10 years old). Six people is quite a houseful :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The girls' father sees them once a week for a couple of hours. When they are with him, they get everything they want and when they get home I usually hear &quot;That's not fair&quot; from my two boys. I am not able to buy the boys whatever they want, whenever they want it, not that I would if I could afford it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just last week the girls wanted to get American Girl dolls. So they call their father up and get him to order them some online. They know that if they want something, they only have to ask their father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I explain to my sons that there is nothing I can do about the girls father buying them things all the time? It's not that I want to &quot;compete&quot; with him, but he makes life for me pretty difficult at home each time he buys the girls something. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="335" LastEditorUserId="11724" LastEditDate="2015-07-01T09:55:13.810" LastActivityDate="2017-07-18T11:08:22.903" Title="How do I handle when my step kids parent buys them everything they want?" Tags="|siblings|step-parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2934" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2935" CreationDate="2011-09-15T18:59:29.253" Score="10" ViewCount="3615" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been feeding my daughter store-bought baby food in glass jars, but I plan on starting to make her food myself.  Is it safe to wash and re-use the jars I already have?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T19:12:15.957" Title="Are glass baby food jars safe to reuse?" Tags="|infant|safety|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2934" CreationDate="2011-09-15T19:12:15.957" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/FreezePage.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/FreezePage.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Glass that is not specifically manufactured for freezing has the&#xA;  unfortunate ability to crack, leave behind tiny, microscopic shards&#xA;  and fragments and also is prone to bursting. Baby food jars are not&#xA;  manufactured for freezing or for extreme heating. BALL, makers of home&#xA;  canning products, manufactures 4 ounce jars specifically for freezing&#xA;  as do other manufactures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, for as long as you aren't planning to freeze (cold temperature) or start canning food (hot temperature) for long-term storage, you should be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used the baby food jars in the beginning, and now we use them for various things like carrying drinks (water/milk/juice) for our little one, or carrying snacks/food in it when we are out and about. It works pretty well for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T19:12:15.957" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2933" CreationDate="2011-09-15T22:34:10.297" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I might say it depends on how much it's affecting your kids, and I would be more worried about the girls than the boys.  Your sons probably feel slighted, but your (soon-to-be?) daughters are getting constant affirmation of &quot;You can have anything you want, whenever you want it.&quot;  At 4 and 8, this is will spoil them quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were a grandparent or uncle giving so many gifts, then sitting down with them and politely asking them to stop would be the right solution.  And since the step father only sees the girls for a short period of time, I think that places him in the &quot;relative&quot; category, as opposed to the &quot;parent&quot; category.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine talking to the step father is difficult (or you would probably have talked to him instead of posting this question).  It might be easier if you wait until you and your fiancee are married, so you can talk to him from more of an official parent position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does your fiancee feel about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-15T22:34:10.297" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2937" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-16T01:23:24.567" Score="8" ViewCount="2244" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girl friend called me scared for her life to day after her parent(s) strangled her. She is 19 years old and cannot support her self on her own. Im not sure what she can do or anything I can do to help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any and all advice would be extremely appreciated. Please Help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1617" LastEditorUserId="3784" LastEditDate="2013-01-29T04:23:59.787" LastActivityDate="2019-03-31T14:11:25.963" Title="What do you do when your parents are physically hurting you?" Tags="|safety|teen|adult-child|separation|violence|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2916" CreationDate="2011-09-16T09:54:59.873" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you can work toward accomplishing two parenting goals in your efforts to address this challenge. Supporting responsible behavior AND creating a positive, fun-loving memory may be possible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Natural and motivating rewards for responsible behavior (such as brushing teeth) may be the most effective. Discovering a reward that builds relationships is very positive for both you and your child. In other words, turn this potentially negative into a positive. Here are some suggestions that may be worth a try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a digital or camera phone, take a quick photo of each family member's shining&quot; teeth (including mom and dad's) each morning they &quot;remember&quot; to brush. Make this a quick, playful, fun event. No picture is taken of &quot;yucky&quot; teeth and a &quot;lecture&quot; or &quot;demand&quot;to brush is avoided. If he forgets to brush, just say, &quot;Oh, sorry!&quot; &quot;Don't forget to brush in the morning and we'll get your picture then.&quot; It will not ruin his teeth to go a single morning without brushing, and turning the requirement into an exclusive club that he wants to &quot;join&quot; may turn a battle into an adventure. Perhaps, only ones with super clean teeth get to see the pictures taken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before the novelty fades, change the reward up. Allow him to take your pictures, compete to see who can make the funniest &quot;teeth&quot; picture or have the biggest smile. Be creative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Limit the photo to just one each person per day to keep it a special event/reward, save time, and keep the novelty interest high&quot;. Perhaps some days, his reward for responsible behavior will be a shoulder ride to the car as &quot;King Responsible&quot; or he can wear dad's/mom's sunglasses or carry dad's phone if he is very careful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Night time brushing can become &quot;practice times&quot; for the morning photos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is to connect &quot;responsible behavior&quot; with special privileges and life/task related rewards and have fun, free of the &quot;you've-gotta-do-this-because-I-said- so&quot; demands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is also a great opportunity to have discussions about being responsible and how it means he is growing up and how proud you are of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, I usually thought of the negative consequence that would &quot;pressure&quot; my son into compliance because those were the strategies my parents used. I wish I had pursued ways of using the &quot;carrot&quot; instead of the &quot;stick&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With fore thought and creativity, you can likely match other tasks to positive rewards and turn parenting struggles into family victories. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T09:54:59.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2888" CreationDate="2011-09-16T10:31:49.173" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children and especially preteens/teens, respond well to being empowered. Have a family meeting and have the family as a group decide what is important. Allow time for discussion from each one's position and then develop the rules from the information shared. Another meeting to share the rules that you as a parent have set will likely be needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does not mean each gets a vote, but rather each gets heard and an atmosphere of understanding one another's perspectives and view is created. It may be helpful to use a marker board and make lists of major concepts/considerations. This will help you remember and consider all the thoughts shared when you develop the rules. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hearing a child's perspective helps you see more clearly their maturity level and gives an opportunity for better dialogue as well as clarifying expectations and consequences. This model also promotes verbal communication and negotiating skills, introspection, empathy and values setting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making this a &quot;formal&quot; event with a planned time and preparation will create interest and increase value. Get all the kids involved allowing them to take notes and ask questions. Some families encourage all members (including kids) to  place topics for family meetings on the fridge and schedule meetings to address issues on a regular basis. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be a powerful and productive tool for families with many positive results and can be used with even younger children with good outcomes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T10:31:49.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-16T10:52:55.770" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Peer pressure is empowered by the drive to belong and be accepted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest the regular use of family meetings to empower your children with a deep sense of belonging and acceptance in the family. By creating &quot;formal&quot; times for children to present their perspectives and be heard they feel valued.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In these meetings, children develop the understanding that they are important and their ideas and differences are valued. This builds self-esteem fortifying them against the need to &quot;be like everyone else.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A family meeting also becomes a place for them to present their issues and help you see their struggles and concerns clearly. This will arm you with the information you need to make timely decisions regarding their need for support. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developing a strong sense of self-worth in the home is the foundation children need to be independent thinkers and equips them with the tools they need to thrive in spite of &quot;being different.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T10:52:55.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-16T12:37:52.743" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids talk about a lot of things, and they also play a lot of things, I don't expect my sons to follow every trend that there is but they can usually pick up enough to go along.  Just because a child isn't extremely knowledgeable about a current pop trend doesn't mean he will be excluded.  Let me point this out with two examples from our household:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bakugan is a popular toy/game with monsters converting from small balls, my son heard lots about it and played some of it with his best friend down the street.  For months all I heard about was Bakugan this and that, my son was allowed to watch one or two episodes on TV - with me because I was curious as to what this was about.  After a few months we bought a couple Bakugan toys for him for his birthday, they were about 50% off at Target (in my wife's price-range).  He played with them for a few weeks...now we try to keep my youngest son from throwing them against the wall and breaking them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Beyblade!  Now it's all about Beyblade, some other toy/game about tops.  Again we watched a couple episodes, so I could see what it was all about.  Again his best friend down the street had some, so we ended up buying one when he completed a large amount of summer homework - my prize for him for doing it early and doing it well.  He and his friend do a few things with them but I think this craze is dying down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've learned a few things from this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trends come and go, sometimes the younger kids get them later and they don't last long.  There are lots of tie-ins [just hit any toy store] but the foundation has already been laid down - you might get one or two toys but not a lot.  When they do come it's for special occasions, if people buy them as presents but don't expect a lot - because I know interest will wane and it will be onto the next thing.  Due to that I don't want lot's of stuff at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids do like to follow other kids, still my son at times prefers to play more with his friends stuff - I think because its considered more special since he only gets to play with it on occasion.  Once we get a few toys the interest wanes and when they do play with the stuff it's not often or only when his friend starts playing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids like lot's of things, one of my favorite toys with my son is the Hot Wheels race track, I like making some and he has gotten into it some.  His friend LOVES to come over and play with it, I think this falls into the &quot;he has toys I don't&quot; scenario and there tends to be interest in it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trends, while popular do not last long, if your kids have other interests they can pick up enough on one to deal with it and follow along then take up a lead on something they are more familiar with.  My son has a few friends who all have different interests, he has his own, and they all get together well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find that if you give your kids a wide exposure, but find things that they enjoy and do good at and focus on those they have something that they can talk about when talk about the &quot;hottest trend&quot; dies down.  Kids can deal with the change and can pick up things quickly so if you also teach them that they don't need to follow everything and have other stuff to talk about then they can deal with the other kids.  Having a good common interest is nice, since we have lots of Lego's and do some sports he has subjects he can talk about with others.  My son already knows we won't follow every trend, so far it's worked out well and we are in a school system with lots of kids who follow lots of trends - although everyone's mileage will vary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T12:37:52.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-16T13:50:37.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids these days don't watch that much television because there are other things like video games and Internet to keep them occupied.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You say that you you want to limit the TV Viewing time not completely eliminate it. Give your kids an option to choose what they would like to watch and record the shows they are interested in if necessary. There are probably only one or two really hot shows which people are talking about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T13:50:37.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="221" CreationDate="2011-09-16T16:18:28.820" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's very context and child dependent. My son is much more outgoing and focused than my daughter, so she's more likely to need some time to figure out what she's doing after graduation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my kids finish college and I can see that they have a plan going forward for their life, then I'll be more lenient about letting them stay home. If it looks like they just want to live with Mom &amp;amp; Dad and not do anything, then I'm more likely to kick them out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1488" LastEditorUserId="1488" LastEditDate="2011-09-16T16:34:12.473" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T16:34:12.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2937" CreationDate="2011-09-16T16:35:46.037" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;An adult who has been assaulted should consider calling the police.  If for some reason that is not possible they should consider getting in touch with a local domestic violence helpline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A young adult who has been assaulted in a house where there are other younger children who are also at risk of violence should strongly consider calling either the police; or the child protection services; or a local domestic violence service.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No person should have to put up with that kind of violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T16:35:46.037" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="221" CreationDate="2011-09-16T17:48:27.960" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother and I are a good example case.  I went right to college and got married (so I moved myself out of the house).  Otherwise, I would have gotten a job and been expected to find my own place to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother was having more trouble academically, so he is living with my parents while he goes to community college, and is taking things slower.  He is allowed to stay with my parents for as long as it will benefit his education.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents explained that once we were 18, we could only live with them if we were still going to school.  After that, we were on our own.  Like @Mark said, if it looked like we just wanted to live with them to avoid doing our own laundry, they would politely encourage us to leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T17:48:27.960" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2946" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2951" CreationDate="2011-09-16T18:21:07.610" Score="6" ViewCount="14944" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 month old daughter has started to pull herself up to a kneeling or standing position. It's like someone flipped a switch-- she went from not climbing on anything to climbing on everything, all the time.  Which is great!  The problem is when we go to put her to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I are pretty hands-off during her bedtime.  We put her to bed, say goodnight, and leave.  She usually fusses for about 5 minutes, but goes to sleep.  But now she pulls herself up on the crib walls and cries because she gets stuck there.  Unless I help her down, she'll mostly only get down by falling over. I'm afraid that she could hurt herself, and it's taking her much longer to get to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would bumpers for the crib be safe?  What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note: I have lowered the mattress on her crib, so she's not in danger of falling &lt;em&gt;out&lt;/em&gt;, just falling and bumping her head on the crib bars.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-09-16T21:10:21.720" LastActivityDate="2011-09-17T16:05:38.697" Title="How do I deal with my baby pulling herself up in her crib?" Tags="|infant|sleep|safety|standing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2937" CreationDate="2011-09-16T18:25:16.177" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have your friend move out!&lt;/strong&gt; As soon as possible. But that is only the first step, and you have to make sure it works - so prepare before acting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like that situation is in fact life-threatening, and that calls for serious action. The first step would be to get out harm's way immediately, and that in itself isn't as easy as just getting up and walking out the door because the parents are likely to &quot;hunt&quot; their daughter outside the home, so a lot of additional steps and external help needs to be tied into this first step. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not skilled in handling such situations, but there are shelters and hotlines that can assist. Perhaps it's better to prepare in silence, to research, to talk to services -- and only openly act once you're reasonably sure that the action will save the girl. I could imagine that a &quot;failed attempt&quot; might make the situation a lot worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As her friend, you could contact such services and get some anonymous advice. At the very least, it would help &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; to cope with the burden of &quot;knowing but not being able to act&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-16T18:25:16.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2948" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-16T23:17:31.730" Score="0" ViewCount="291" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2/what-are-the-objective-arguments-against-immunizations-for-infants-and-children&quot;&gt;What are the objective arguments against immunizations for infants and children?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have heard a lot about autism being caused by some immunizations, but haven't found any studies actually proving this.  Have there been any?  Or have there even been any strong correlations?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saying something like &quot;nearly all children with autism have had immunizations&quot; means nothing since over 98% of children have been given immunizations.  That's pretty much like saying &quot;nearly all autistic children fit within 98% of the scope of all children&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1618" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-09-17T03:40:13.503" Title="Have there ever actually been any studies proving some immunizations cause autism?" Tags="|immunizations|autism|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2011-09-17T03:52:00.270" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2858" CreationDate="2011-09-17T01:21:54.347" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The fact that she played with her toys for 3 hours indicates that there is NOT anything physically wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, your options include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be persistent and continue the controlled crying method following the protocol exactly. It appears that consistency is important for success with this model, so it is very likely that you will have to begin at the very beginning again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow her to play independently until she falls back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provide sensory calming strategies to support a sleep environment. This could include: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Using white noise from a humidifier, fan or noise maker&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sing or hum softly&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Leave lights turned off&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide deep pressure by swaddling or tucking cover firmly under mattress on each side&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Add rhythmical patting on back or firmly on diaper, or bouncing of mattress  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Avoid talking and eye contact&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide pacifier or thumb/finger for sucking&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give familiar blanket or soft toy (my son required one of my gowns)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try co-sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important that you select the strategy that works best for you. Overcoming the sleep hurdle can be challenging, but remember that this too will pass!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-17T01:21:54.347" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2948" CreationDate="2011-09-17T03:40:13.503" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;No. The only well known study showing a link (Wakefield) was subsequently exposed as fraudulent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is discussed in more detail at Skeptics SE: &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/607/are-there-any-other-studies-besides-the-discredited-wakefield-studies-that-have&quot;&gt;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/607/are-there-any-other-studies-besides-the-discredited-wakefield-studies-that-have&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2011-09-17T03:40:13.503" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2946" CreationDate="2011-09-17T03:45:38.017" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;1) As far as taking longer to get to sleep and getting frustrated from not being able to get down, I'd suggest less interference. She will learn to get down soon, but if you always get there to set her down, she might start doing this just to grab your attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Please be aware that bumpers might possibly make things &lt;strong&gt;worse&lt;/strong&gt;, as she might learn to use them as step/stool to climb higher and thus again be at risk of falling &lt;em&gt;out&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) If you are worried that she'll bump her head against the same crib side she's standing at, that's not very likely (physically hard to fall that way for her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're worried that she will fall and bump her head against the back side of the crib (assuming she stands near front side), a one possible solution I can propose is to put something that grabs her attention/interest on the right/left side of the crib - that way when/if she falls, she will fall lengthwise and not risk bumping into opposite wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt; +==== hit ===================+&#xA; |      ^                     |&#xA; |      |                     |&#xA;TOY ---    ---&amp;gt; no hit        |&#xA; |                            |&#xA; |      |                     |&#xA; +=====(O)====== =============+&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case the last paragraph was confusing, I tried to show diagram above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;(O)&lt;/code&gt; is where I suspect your baby is standing now (front wall). You are worried she will fall back and her head will reach the opposite (back) wall. I propose to put a toy or something on left wall, so she stands there instead, and if she falls, her head is mid-crib and not hitting opposite wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2011-09-17T03:54:06.247" LastActivityDate="2011-09-17T03:54:06.247" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2946" CreationDate="2011-09-17T16:05:38.697" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I gather from the question that there is no risk of serious injury.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a situation where you need to let her figure it out herself. Kids fall all the time. If she falls, she falls. A little knock on the noggin isn't going to do any serious damage.  After a few falls, she will either stop doing what causes her to fall, or do it better so that she doesn't fall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is risk of serious injury, perhaps from the crib bars being too wide or having some sharp edges, you need a safer crib. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-17T16:05:38.697" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-17T22:46:58.000" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although peer pressure has amazing power in our lives, there are ways to minimize the effect it has on people. It is always important to tell you children what your values are. Explain to them that you value activities over watching TV, or that the non brand name shoes are just as good as the brand name. Also, empower your child to understand that individuality is good. Praise them for being an individual; sometimes this may mean praising them for doing something differently than you would have, as long as it is not harmful, focus on building them up as an individual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every year I see students obsessed with being just like &quot;everyone&quot; else. They often feel that is how to be valued in the society of their peers. Yet I also see (more and more often) students that know they are different and understand the value in being their own person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there is actually minimal need to be exposed to television to have talking points with their peers. If your child comes to you and says &quot;everyone else is watching &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_&quot; and it is a show you find to be appropriate for your child, there is no harm allowing them to watch it from time to time. However, at the same time if the show, or item in question is something you have no desire for your child to watch/ have, explain to them that although it may be popular, it is not right for your family because... be sure to give them a reason. Providing your child with a clear explanation provides them with something to defend the fact that they have not participated in something others have. To that end, make sure you do not tell them that other kids are bad or wrong - keep it focused on Mom and Dad are responsible for making sure you are exposed to the types of things we want you to be exposed to and it is okay if what our family does is different from your friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure they are having experiences that they can talk about when asked about their weekend and you would be surprised how quickly going on &quot;adventures&quot; or outtings become popular among their peers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-09-17T22:46:58.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="166" CreationDate="2011-09-18T00:16:21.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ingesting air when eating is one of the contributers to the problem of reflux in infants. The stomach is very similar to a balloon. When it is filled with liquid and air, and pressure is applied (by lying on the tummy, a diaper that's too snug, positioning in sitting or with knees bent, or held closely against someone) the liquid can backflow or reflux. The flow may stop before it comes up to or out of the mouth or it may spew out of the mouth as vomiting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies often swallow air when drinking. The Dr. Brown Bottle at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.handi-craft.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.handi-craft.com/&lt;/a&gt; is the only bottle that takes air out of the swallow and is very beneficial for reducing reflux in many babies. I usually do not mention brands, but this is necessary to help answer this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a speech language pathologist that works with feeding disorders. It is important for parents to be armed with information about products that can affect the health of their child. I have NO connections with the Dr. Brown Bottle. This bottle is patented and is the only bottle with a laser cut nipple. Research reported on their site also indicates the bottle can increase nutrition. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sensitivities/allergies/intolerance, preterm birth, and autoimmune disorders are other culprits associated with reflux. The duration of reflux will vary from child to child and will often depend on the causal factors and how they are addressed. Reflux can and often does disappear by 12 months of age. It is common however for adults to have adult onset reflux from gaining excessive weight and incompatible diets as they age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jacn.org/content/17/4/308.full.pdf+html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.jacn.org/content/17/4/308.full.pdf+html&lt;/a&gt; is an excellence research-based review of reflux and its treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reflux can have very serious consequences, including pain, aspiration of acid/food/liquid into the lungs leading to infections/bronchitis/pneumonia; erosion of the tissue of the throat/nose/mouth (esophagitis), erosion of teeth, ear infections, and food avoidance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understand that medication my not stop backflow, but it does stop or neutralize the acid (depending on the medication). The acid is the source of pain, esophagitis, erosion of teeth and food avoidance. Basically, it reduces the refluxing to &quot;spit&quot; and we often say, &quot;spit happens&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you try the Dr. Brown bottle that reduces air intake when swallowing as well as continue the medication and strategies you are already implementing. Hopefully this problem will resolve quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-18T00:50:01.670" LastActivityDate="2011-09-18T00:50:01.670" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2955" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-18T08:03:40.290" Score="3" ViewCount="103" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/626/how-do-you-know-when-it-is-time-to-take-a-child-to-the-doctor&quot;&gt;How do you know when it is time to take a child to the Doctor?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a new mother, I tend to be very worried. I'm always afraid I might be missing something, or not noticing an important symptom. I was wondering if there are symptoms that call for immediate contact with a doctor. For example, when I went for my first visit to my baby's pediatrician, she told me that if I ever see green in my baby's spit-up I should immediately call her. Are there any other signs I should look out for? I'd love to compile a list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To start:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Green spitup&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;High fever&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(Consistent) Projectile vomiting (a single isolated case is probably perfectly normal)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-09-19T06:05:10.080" Title="What symptoms call for an immediate trip to the doctor?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2011-09-19T12:48:21.530" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2011-09-18T13:15:38.757" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The following list is a summary of ones listed at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/healthy-baby/PR00022&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Changes in appetite (refuses several feedings in a row or eats poorly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Changes in mood (lethargic, unusually difficult to rouse, persistently irritable,or inconsolable crying).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Tender navel or penis (umbilical area or penis suddenly becomes red or&#xA;  starts to ooze or bleed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Fever. ANY fever if younger than age 3 months, 3 months or older an&#xA;  oral temperature of 102 F (38.9 C) or higher, give your baby&#xA;  acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) and contact doctor if the fever&#xA;  doesn't respond to the medication or lasts longer than one day or is&#xA;  unusually irritable, lethargic or uncomfortable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Diarrhea (especially loose or watery stools.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Vomiting or spiting up large portions of multiple feedings or vomits&#xA;  forcefully after feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Dehydration (if baby doesn't wet a diaper for six hours or longer, the&#xA;  soft spot on top of your baby's head seems to sink, or your baby cries&#xA;  without tears or has a dry mouth without saliva).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Constipation (fewer bowel movements than usual for a few days) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Colds that interfere with his or her breathing, lasts longer than two&#xA;  weeks, or is accompanied by severe coughing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Ear trouble (baby doesn't respond normally to sounds or has fluid&#xA;  draining from his or her ears).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Rash (covering a large area, appears infected or sudden unexplained rash — especially if the rash is accompanied by a fever).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Eye discharge (one or both eyes are pink, red or leaking mucus).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Trust your instincts. Seek emergency care for:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Bleeding that can't be stopped&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Poisoning &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Seizures &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Trouble breathing &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Head injuries &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A sudden lack of energy or inability to move &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Unresponsiveness &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Large cuts or burns &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Neck stiffness &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Blood in the urine, bloody diarrhea or persistent diarrhea&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Skin or lips that look blue, purple or gray&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-18T13:15:38.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1021" CreationDate="2011-09-18T13:55:44.340" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are two sites with the results of research on nipple confusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20210506210747/https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/103/3/e33.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The American Journal of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; concluded: &amp;quot;Breastfeeding duration in the first 3 months' postpartum was unaffected by pacifier use.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://doi.org/10.1007/s004310050734&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The European Journal of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; reported the following conclusion, &amp;quot;In our study population fluid supplements offered by bottle with or without the use of pacifiers during the first 5 days of life were not associated with a lower frequency or shorter duration of breastfeeding during the first 6 months of life.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More indepth reading of the research seems to indicate that nipple confusion is related to difficulty nursing or sucking in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a speech language pathologist who works with infants having feeding difficulties, I believe that the infant is not confused. Rather, they are following the easiest option. Newborns have sucked, but never breathed before. Swallowing requires a complex pattern of suck swallow breathe.  A pacifier allows sucking with minimal swallowing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Weakness is another factor. The nipples of pacifiers, bottles, and mom's all require different motor skills to draw out liquid. The breast requires effort by the child. This effort builds strength and skills for later speech and feeding development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child is struggling with breastfeeding, it is understandable that a nipple that produces no flow (pacifier) or one that controls the flow into the mouth (slow flow nipple) or quickly without effort (fast flow nipples) is preferred.  These nipples do not cause the confusion, but rather reveal a difference or problem that is already present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of these problems will likely show up later in slower development of feeding and speech skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditDate="2022-05-19T20:46:55.657" LastActivityDate="2022-05-19T20:46:55.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="2958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2011-09-18T17:22:57.667" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should never secure a pacifier to a child's mouth. Doing so could obstruct a child's breathing, prevent stomach contents from clearing the mouth or airway if refluxed or regurgitated, and decrease oral sensory awareness if the child's senses perceive the device as offensive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important that you consider why the pacifier is falling out. Questions that need to be answered include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is the child hungry and needs milk?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is the child's suck weak? This is sometimes the case for many reasons&#xA;including prematurity, inexperience, and low muscle tone.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does the pacifier match the child's oral motor skills? If a pacifier &#xA;is too short or long, too wide or narrow or too stiff or soft it will&#xA;contribute to fatigue, poor suction, gagging, or difficulty&lt;br&gt;&#xA;breathing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is the problem related to poor hand and motor skills? A child may suck vigorously on the pacifier with good firm pressure, but the pacifier falls out when they rest. The only problem here is the inability to coordinate movements to return the device to the mouth. This will resolve with age and motor development. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Matching a pacifier or nipple of bottle to a baby should consider many factors and may require many trials. You may want to explore a variety of devices to see if one is a better match for you baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-18T17:22:57.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2959" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-18T17:26:41.980" Score="0" ViewCount="924" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 months old and at 21 pounds, barely fits in 13&quot;x 20&quot; prefolds that claim to go up to 28 pounds. The next and only size up for prefolds is 16.5&quot;x 21&quot;. They claim to hold babies up to 40 pounds, but my son has consistently outgrown prefolds at a lower weight, so these would probably only last until 35 pounds. Realistically, he will outgrow the 16.5&quot;x 21&quot; before he is potty trained. We have some bum genius 4.0 in addition to the prefolds, but they only go up to 35 pounds, so they won't fit him through potty training either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some cloth diaper brands that offer sizes going higher than 40 pounds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastEditorUserId="1571" LastEditDate="2011-10-03T21:27:31.683" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T21:27:31.683" Title="What are the best cloth diapers for a large baby?" Tags="|infant|cloth-diaper|shopping|weight|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2011-09-19T16:04:21.737" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't recommend Dr. Michel Cohen's book, &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0060535482&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;THE NEW BASICS&lt;/a&gt;, enough.  He is a very well trusted pediatrician based in New York City. The whole book is organized around when to seek professional care.  It catalogues every ailment alphabetically and after each entry is a &quot;when not to worry&quot; and &quot;when to worry&quot; list.  Each list is very specific and extremely useful for this exact dilemma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1632" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-19T16:10:12.883" LastActivityDate="2011-09-19T16:10:12.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2959" CreationDate="2011-09-19T16:39:10.307" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.greenmountaindiapers.com/prefolds.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Greenmountain&lt;/a&gt; sells diapers that come in sizes of upto 40 lbs. You can probably just get away with just the large size, but if you're more comfortable, use the extra large. If it's too big on your baby, you can fold it (that's what we did) at the top. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you into sewing? If so, you can also &lt;a href=&quot;http://christadovel.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Sew-Prefold-Diapers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sew your own pre-folds&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Word of caution: Our daughter is 13 months now, and so far we've only needed two sizes - the newborn and then the step up. She was born 7 lbs 14 ounces. She had doubled her weight by 3 months (15 lbs). After that her weight gain slowed down considerably (crawling, walking, just a whole lot of movement) and she is 20 lbs right now. So be wary of that - your child won't be gaining weight nearly as quickly as in the beginning. It slows down a LOT - they'll be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infant-growth/AN01654&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a year old before they triple their weight&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-09-19T16:39:10.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2900" CreationDate="2011-09-19T17:40:50.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tangential answer because I don't have comment rights:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you should look at how his diet influences his night time peeing? I recently noticed that if I limit my carbs in the evening to slow starches, then I'm not as thirsty and I don't sweat at night.  (so no sugary goods or even fruit juice, just potatoes, rice, that kind of thing - for me that boils to foregoing my ice cream)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See &lt;a href=&quot;http://paleohacks.com/questions/53815/children-on-paleo-diet-and-peeing-a-lot-at-night&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the Paleo Hacks forum&lt;/a&gt; for an inconclusive but interesting discussion of peeing and diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastActivityDate="2011-09-19T17:40:50.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2965" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-19T19:27:27.870" Score="2" ViewCount="269" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for a particular kind of parenting book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The focus should be on newborn to pre-school. The book would offer parenting advice grounded in scientific studies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, there is a study called the &lt;a href=&quot;http://peekabooparenting.com/2010/02/14/deferred-gratification-or-the-marshmellow-test/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Marshmallow test&lt;/a&gt; citing how kids that are able to defer gratification achieve higher SAT scores. Granted the study is only tangentially related to parenting as I could not find a better study, but my goal is to find a book that ties long-term behavior, personality, or cognitive development to parenting strategies or childhood behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get specific, off the top of my head studies that help to answer: where the child sleeps and impact on personality, breast-milk or formula, how to improve language acquisition, discipline strategies and personality development, music exposure, etc. would be very interesting. (For what it's worth, I'm trying to find a book as a gift for a friend of mine that is scientifically minded and about to have her first child.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question may be better suited as a community wiki since there may not be a single right answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1566" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:11:00.990" LastActivityDate="2012-09-04T12:11:00.990" Title="scientific parenting book for newborns thru pre-school" Tags="|infant|development|education|books|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2011-09-20T13:01:54.280" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2967" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2973" CreationDate="2011-09-19T20:51:40.537" Score="10" ViewCount="5058" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard many times that you shouldn't put toys (or pillows or blankets) in a baby's crib while they sleeps, to reduce the risk of accidental suffocation.  But I don't remember ever hearing when it stops being dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When is it okay to have stuffed animals in the crib?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-20T13:17:45.800" LastActivityDate="2011-09-20T13:22:06.510" Title="At what age is it safe to have toys in a baby's crib?" Tags="|infant|sleep|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2967" CreationDate="2011-09-19T21:32:13.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is my understanding that the answer is never. When they're little, it is to reduce the risk of SIDS, but when babies get a little older it is to prevent them from using the stuffed animals as a way of boosting themselves out of the crib and falling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-19T21:32:13.153" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1249" CreationDate="2011-09-19T22:45:40.210" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should start brushing as soon as teeth appear.  Allowing the child to play with the brush before teeth appear will help when you need to actually brush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use a special childs toothbrush.  They have very soft bristles and tiny heads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use special childs toothpaste.  This has less fluoride (you should use a fluoride toothpaste) and a gentle flavour.  UK advice is to use a mint flavour to make changing to an adult toothpaste easier.  (We only have mint over here; there's one &quot;wintergreen&quot; toothpaste, and some weird flavours for children, but there's no cinnamon.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by using a smear of toothpaste until the child can learn to spit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At nighttime you may want to encourage them to leave the toothpaste on the teeth, rather than rinsing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-09-19T22:45:40.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2965" CreationDate="2011-09-19T23:11:33.817" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will be hard pressed to find scientific studies that answer these questions with any certainty. There are too many variables with child development and much of the constraints that would be necessary to come to conclusive answers have the potential of being harmful to members of the study. There are a number of books that delve into child development, some of the forerunners are Piaget, Pavlov, Skinner, Freud, and Erik Erikson. Many of these theories coexist so I caution reading just one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-09-19T23:11:33.817" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2965" CreationDate="2011-09-20T00:45:42.413" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The topics you mention are very broad and not closely related in the scientific world. Research is usually not easy reading and outcomes vary depending on variables of the study. I suspect that there will be very few if any books with the information you seek. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you could make your own collection of research results. We have some very good research reported on this site and I'm sure there is much more you could compile. Could you be the one to create the book that you seek? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-20T01:10:31.687" LastActivityDate="2011-09-20T01:10:31.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2967" CreationDate="2011-09-20T04:49:02.727" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toys/pillows/blankets in the crib are a suffocation hazard, especially while the child is too young to be able to move deliberately (not having developed enough motor control yet), and that's the argument against having them.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So you could say that &lt;strong&gt;once the baby has full motor control, it would be safe to add toys.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;But (at least in theory) toys remain a hazard, so make a deliberate decision either for or against.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Christine points out, older children can deliberately use toys to climb out of the crib - and fall down on the floor or onto other furniture. At that age, the toys aren't a suffocation hazard anymore because the child will move away from the object, just as adults would. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/242/109&quot;&gt;a similar question&lt;/a&gt; here already; you might find it worth reading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incidentally, SIDS has nothing to do with toys in the crib. It's called SUDDEN infant death syndrome because it has no apparent cause (or, the cause hasn't been scientifically discovered yet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-09-20T13:22:06.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2975" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3059" CreationDate="2011-09-20T13:37:46.843" Score="9" ViewCount="665" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really enjoyed making things out of cardboard as a kid and my daughter (10) loves physical construction as well. Some of the things I'd like to provide her tools for :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Easily cutting cardboard &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kleverinnovations.net/kleverkutter.html#blank&quot;&gt;Klever Cutter&lt;/a&gt; (cost is about $3 ea. but I suspect they don't last long. Can't replace the blade.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001B64ZEE&quot;&gt;Skil powered cutter&lt;/a&gt; (downside: expensive and a bit more dangerous)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000BAURWU&quot;&gt;Powered scissors&lt;/a&gt;  - Seems like the best option.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Connecting Cardboard. I'm thinking maybe &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brass_fastener&quot;&gt;brads&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be a good selection of materials and tools to provide my daughter that would allow her to make cardboard-based construction projects safely?  What level of supervision would be required given the materials recommended?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1602" LastEditorUserId="1602" LastEditDate="2011-09-20T14:17:05.700" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T23:25:35.973" Title="What would be a good kit for cardboard construction projects for a pre-teen?" Tags="|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2975" CreationDate="2011-09-20T14:22:03.870" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;[I'm reposting my answer from your cardboard-cutting question at DIY.SE here, since it was closed there as off-topic.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was the age to be cutting holes in cardboard boxes for fun, the tool I had was a serrated knife — I think it was sold as a very cheap steak knife. The blade was, basically as dull as a letter opener (and somewhat flexible), but the serrations made it quite effective at cutting cardboard like a saw, either neatly or roughly depending on the force applied. It did have an end pointy enough to require some care, but that was never a problem that I recall. It also makes a great noise when cutting a large panel, especially the side of a box, as the cardboard vibrates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have any specific product recommendations as this was a few decades ago, but I do want to emphasize that this is a &lt;strong&gt;dull&lt;/strong&gt; knife — the serrations do the work. I think this may be the principle used by &quot;won't break skin&quot; kids' woodworking tool sets, also, but I haven't ever tried one of those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(This is for corrugated cardboard. On non-corrugated cardboard, the serrated knife will still work but the cut will have a thicker edge of torn-up fibers.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to fastening cardboard, I always used clear package-sealing tape. (It's much better looking, and less messy, than duct tape.) You can't peel it off to reuse the cardboard without possibly stripping off a layer from the cardboard, but you can cut the tape and leave it on, if you don't mind the looks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1638" LastEditorUserId="1638" LastEditDate="2011-09-21T20:45:01.947" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T20:45:01.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2916" CreationDate="2011-09-20T17:48:38.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;From experience (twins):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that any consideration here must be made with a sense of what is age-appropriate along with understanding the child's own personal development and where this sets against what is being demanded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything has certain consequences.  The experience of the consequence is a teaching tool, but consider that it may teach something quite unintended, therefore enter into these decisions with a clear mind and well-considered intent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example: A child is really not ready to ride a bicycle safely - either because they are not ready physically, or have no sense of what the consequence may be if they fail.  The parent (who may have no clue) feels it's best that the child learn how by experiencing the consequence and therefore sends them off, only to watch them crash and bleed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child may learn that bicycle riding is no fun and never get on it again.  They may also draw from the experience the question, &quot;Where was mommy when I needed her most?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have discovered that this negative consequence is recoverable, but it takes time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this came down, for me, to the question &quot;what is my role?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider: children are natural born learners.  They are eager to do things on their own, but only when the time is right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding teeth, my son was encouraged to brush twice daily, once he took over the process, but sometimes forgot or just skipped it.  A visit to the dentist, with two cavity fillings, altered his habits.  So in this case, we did our best, and left it to him as his age and ability were appropriate to the task.  The result was, following the dentist visit, renewed interest in brushing and in subsequent checkups no more cavities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1598" LastActivityDate="2011-09-20T17:48:38.483" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2978" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2982" CreationDate="2011-09-20T19:02:06.343" Score="9" ViewCount="345" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4 and a half month old, so this won't be applicable for a while, but I would like to raise my son with the idea that he won't be an only child forever. I want my children to have a good relationship from the start. How do you prepare a toddler to be an older sibling? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T17:31:06.127" Title="What are good ways to begin preparing a child for a new baby?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|safety|activities|siblings|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2978" CreationDate="2011-09-20T19:48:55.177" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young children (&amp;lt;5 years) need very little conditioning for the idea of a brother or sister. If they're socialized around other children with siblings, either in school, playgroups, or extended family, they'll learn this is a natural state. They'll just need preparation for when the little one is coming so they know what will change. Very young and it may mean they have to give up their crib or other personal effects. For older children it will mean just learning that they will have to share mom and dad's time (but they'll still have their full dose of love).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You won't plant that idea too firmly or early, though. There is always a chance that despite your intentions and efforts, he may be an only. It can be very hard to explain to a six year old why that baby brother never appeared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1607" LastActivityDate="2011-09-20T19:48:55.177" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2980" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-21T04:50:54.070" Score="5" ViewCount="1230" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 26 years old and live with my mother who is a single mother. She adopted two children as newborns who are now 5 years old. My mom has recently started working outside the home so now I even get them up and ready for school in the mornings when she is gone and take them to school and pick them up from school. I feel like I fulfill the role of a father figure. I teach them things, I comfort them, I discipline them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I sometimes feel conflicted and depressed about &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; being their father.&lt;/strong&gt; Especially around father's day. Many people approach me when I am out with them in public or when I take them to the doctors and stuff calling me their dad and it makes me feel bad to say I'm not their dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even the other day when I was picking them up from kindergarten (can't believe they are in school already) another child's father approached me asking if I was my brother's father because he wanted to set up a playdate for the boys... I'm starting to feel really conflicted about it. Because I feel like I am their dad, I fulfill the role in their lives but then I have to tell everyone I'm &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; their dad and I feel like I can't get any recognition for fulfilling that role because I am &quot;just a brother&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's come to the point now that I almost want to move out and move away so I won't be their &quot;stand in&quot; father anymore because it depresses me. I just don't know what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want peoples' opinions. Has anyone else ever been in this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1643" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-21T06:02:20.773" LastActivityDate="2017-07-13T20:38:31.513" Title="How can a much older brother gain recognition for being a de-facto father?" Tags="|independence|adoption|conflict|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2981" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-21T05:25:19.390" Score="1" ViewCount="271" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are having a baby! I haven't been around babies very much, so I'm a little nervous I won't know what to do. What books/resources are available to help someone like me (the Dad) feel more prepared to be a parent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1623" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:17:52.793" LastActivityDate="2011-12-18T02:17:52.793" Title="Recommended reading for first-time father?" Tags="|newborn|first-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2011-09-21T14:14:50.497" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2978" CreationDate="2011-09-21T11:49:26.080" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One that worked well for us was for the new baby to 'give' a present to her siblings to say hi, and to let the elder ones hold her and give her cuddles from day 1 (actually from about 15 minutes old:-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before the birth, let them help to choose things for the baby so they feel part of the discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the birth, let them know how important their help is when Mummy and Daddy are tired - things like tidying up, helping cook etc are Big Brother/Sister jobs that the new baby can't do. This also helps them to feel wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T11:49:26.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2981" CreationDate="2011-09-21T12:59:25.320" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &quot;What to Expect&quot; series of books are a great resource! They have a lot of information, and there are chapters in there specifically for dads! &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0761148574&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is a link to the &quot;What to Expect When You're Expecting.&quot; &#xA;They helped me out a lot, I hope it helps you too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T12:59:25.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2981" CreationDate="2011-09-21T13:08:29.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I lead a new father's course offered by our local hospital system. You should check to see if the hospital you plan on delivering at has something similar. Below are the suggested readings from my presentation materials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Books&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bleidner, L. (2006). Mack Daddy: Mastering Fatherhood without Losing&#xA;Your Style, Your Cool, or Your Mind. New York: Citadel. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Goldman, M. (2000). The Joy of Fatherhood: The First Twelve Months (2nd ed). New&#xA;York: Three Rivers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Greenberg, G. (2004). Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads. New York: Simon &amp;amp; Schuster.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Jana, L. A., &amp;amp;  Shu, J. (2005). Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to&#xA;Reality. Elk Grove Village: American Academy of Pediatrics.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sears, R.  (2006). Father's First Steps: 25 Things Every New Dad Should Know.&#xA;Cambridge: Harvard.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Walsh, D. A. (2007). No: Why kids — of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It. New York: Free Press.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Web Sites&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics, Parenting Corner&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Provides answers to a variety of parenting and&#xA;child health questions, including&#xA;immunizations, sleep and development&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;www.healthychildren.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Baby Center, Dad’s Page&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Articles and expert answers that are written&#xA;specifically for fathers&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/advice-for-new-dads&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;www.babycenter.com/advice-for-new-dads&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Beaumont Hospitals – Health Library&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Includes a vast library of health-related&#xA;articles, as well as information on local classes&#xA;and support groups&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.beaumonthospitals.com/health-library&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;www.beaumonthospitals.com/health-library&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dad Labs&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Funny and sometimes irreverent coverage of&#xA;issues affecting fathers of children of all ages&#xA;though videos and forum discussions&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dadlabs.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;www.dadlabs.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fatherville&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Written by dads for dads, site includes special&#xA;situations like new dads, stay-at-home dads,&#xA;special needs, fathers of teens and divorced&#xA;dads&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fatherville.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;www.fatherville.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1607" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T13:08:29.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2985" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2990" CreationDate="2011-09-21T13:10:43.473" Score="34" ViewCount="3554" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I both tend to have... colorful language (for me it tends to be far worse when driving).  Our son just turned one, and is starting to become more verbal.  He's not quite at the point where he's repeating whatever we say, but it is just around the corner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I think that we're well equipped to explain to him what is and is not acceptable language, it will likely be a while before he is able to make that distinction.  While I generally consider profanity to be &quot;just words&quot;, we'd rather avoid having issues with other parents or teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can my wife and I do to avoid our son picking up some of our more colorful vocabulary?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Slip ups will happen from time to time, at least until we can get used to the new restrictions.  How can we mitigate the damage of any lapses?  Are there any general strategies that can demonstrate proper behavior without causing confusion along the lines of &quot;do what we say, not what we do&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-23T16:02:31.773" LastActivityDate="2016-10-10T11:22:48.790" Title="How do my wife and I stop our son from learning to swear from us?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|language|profanity|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-21T14:21:04.403" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids can and will quote you verbatim on the worst possible statements at the worst possible time.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;To avoid that, moderate your language at all times when the child is within earshot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can sometimes bang my first into any nearby wall, or drop objects from a slightly-higher-than-necessary height, and I have seen my son imitate some of that for no apparent reason - probably because he doesn't see or understand what triggers my action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, the only solution is to &lt;strong&gt;be a positive role model.&lt;/strong&gt; If you can't, how can you expect it from your child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T14:21:04.403" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-21T15:34:05.087" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It took my husband and myself about 6 months (before the kids were born, so less pressure) but we were eventually able to stop. Now most, if any, of the cursing just happens inside my head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You just have to find replacement words - &quot;fudge&quot;, &quot;shucks&quot;, &quot;heck&quot;, &quot;darn&quot;, etc. Once you have replacement words - it's a matter of replacing your vocabulary. It's a slow process, but it does happen. You both need to point out to the other when they forget. For example, if I'd accidentally let one slip, my husband would go - &quot;what was that?&quot; It's just a friendly reminder about a goal that we were both working for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, if the two of you are not able to work on this together, it'll be really challenging. You both need to make a conscious effort in restraint - and have to want to stop cursing. If either of you thinks that it's not important enough, this is not going to work out well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T15:34:05.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2980" CreationDate="2011-09-21T15:51:43.587" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's understandable that the situation frustrates you, especially when it's rubbed in by external events like the dance/bowling events you mention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thought I have about this is that in many situations, you really &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; in the father role, so it should not matter if you're the actual father or not:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case of those school events, there's no direct requirement that a &lt;em&gt;legal&lt;/em&gt; guardian participates. Let's say that the mother was on a business trip at the time; the school surely wouldn't object if the aunt came in her place. So the school shouldn't object either when you substitute for the father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same with setting up a play-date: you're authorized to decide when and if such a play-date should take place. When someone asks you if you're the parent, you know that what they really ask is whether you can decide on what they're about to suggest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So when you're asked if you're the father, &lt;strong&gt;you need to come up with an answer that suits you.&lt;/strong&gt; Something along the lines of &lt;em&gt;&quot;Yes, practically.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;&quot;No, but close enough.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could work in nearly every situation -- even in legal matters, if your mother is willing to grant you the necessary rights. In most cases, a written and signed note from her would be enough for the purpose of school appointments and perhaps even medical appointments.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Discuss with your mother &lt;strong&gt;if she would be prepared to formally grant you those rights&lt;/strong&gt; -- or rather, in which cases and under what circumstances and conditions, would she grant you the rights. Once you've received this specific recognition verbally, you can work on putting it in writing in a shape that's useful in the situations where you need it. You can most likely write this yourself; no need to involve legal people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T15:51:43.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-21T16:18:28.377" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are asking how to prevent your kids from picking up your language without actually curbing your language. Short of forcing the kid to wear ear plugs, there isn't a solution for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, assume he's going to pick up your language. At that point, you need to help let the child know when it's not OK to use those words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house, we have a policy that those words are only acceptable when 1) you stub your toe or 2) the computer crashes. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, I've made a personal goal to stop using said language in the car as I've decided that being angry at anyone on the road, no matter how idiotic they may be, only puts myself and family at risk. I now have a more zen approach to driving and just let everyone else be the jerk rather than myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T16:18:28.377" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-21T16:34:45.870" Score="43" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's true:  to stop swearing in front of your kids, you really have to stop swearing altogether.  Like a lot of young couples, my wife and I swore casually in conversation, which kept the words in ready recall when you need an interjection for stubbing your toe.  Even if you watch your mouth around the kids, when you get cut off in traffic or knock over a glass of milk, the words will come out before you think about them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here's the two step approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What works best is to come up with some harmless synonyms, and if they're amusing you'll be more likely to stick with them.  As an easy example, we'd say &quot;donkey&quot; anytime we would have said &quot;ass&quot;, which ended up cracking us up.  Eventually the day came when our daughter pointed out to us something she considered to be &quot;bad-donkey&quot;, and we decided even the euphemism should be cleaned up a bit before she takes it to preschool.  It was surprisingly easy replacing the real swears with similar G-rate words, and it was perfectly easy to turn off the humorous synonyms later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1645" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T16:34:45.870" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2816" CreationDate="2011-09-21T16:41:38.090" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to offer an alternative, which is the B-PSA (Baden-Powell Service Association) (&lt;a href=&quot;http://bpsa-us.org&quot;&gt;http://bpsa-us.org&lt;/a&gt;).  I'm commissioner for the association, and we are open to everyone, without exception, youth and adult, boys and girls. Our policy of inclusion provides an environment for both secular (myself included) and non-secular participation.  We are a traditional scouting program, based on the same scouting methods and aims laid down by Baden-Powell when he founded scouting in 1907.  Our intention is to keep to the traditional, outdoor based program and make scouting available to every youth and adult that would like to participate. We have program sections for ages 5-7 (Otters), 8-10 (Timberwolves), 11-17 (Pathfinders) and 18+ (Rovers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also the Group Scoutmaster for a local B-PSA group in Missouri; and I would be happy to answer any questions about the program and how we operate. We're very small right now; but have various groups starting up in different areas of the US. I'd be glad to help you setup a new group and get one going in your area as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get in touch with me via the &quot;Contact&quot; form on the main web site, &lt;a href=&quot;http://bpsa-us.org&quot;&gt;http://bpsa-us.org&lt;/a&gt; or my contact information here.  I hope this gives you some more information on your questions; and maybe the program lines up with what you are looking for in a scouting organization.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1646" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T16:41:38.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2978" CreationDate="2011-09-21T17:31:06.127" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start early and talk often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk about other people who have siblings. Talk about your siblings (if you have them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us, the thing that help the most was talking about the whole family relationship tree. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is a brother, a sister, an aunt, an uncle. Explain what a cousin is, and grand-parents. Understanding that there are all these different types of family relationships helped us to set the expectation of what a brother or sister was much easier and then when they actualy came along it was simpler to transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2011-09-21T17:31:06.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2994" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="2999" CreationDate="2011-09-22T05:12:21.903" Score="26" ViewCount="10754" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in the USA, originally from India, and my wife is American.  My native language is Hindi.  My wife knows only a little bit of Hindi.  It hasn't been a problem because we usually talk in English anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are expecting our first baby soon and we want her to grow up knowing both Hindi and English.  Most of the resources I have found about raising bilingual children are for parents when both the parents know the two languages, or when both the parents speak one language, but are immersed in another language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main &quot;problem&quot; I anticipate is that we can try &quot;one parent, one language&quot; system (I speak only Hindi and my speaks only English while talking to our daughter), but since my wife and I &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; talk to each other in English, it will not be &quot;symmetric&quot;.  Given that we are in America, it will be hard to give enough Hindi exposure to our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any strategies to cope with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1648" LastActivityDate="2018-02-13T21:48:28.130" Title="Raising a bilingual child when one parent knows both languages while the other doesn't" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-22T06:27:18.697" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other answers here are generally advocating that you change your habits of cussing. i'm gonna go against the grain here and tell you not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;but what about the kid?!&quot; well he's 1. in my experience, you have at least a year probably 2 before it can &lt;em&gt;potentally&lt;/em&gt; flop out there when you don't want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and that's the key here. it &lt;em&gt;MIGHT&lt;/em&gt; become a problem. it's not guaranteed. thinking back, of my 5 kids i'm not sure i ever had to have that conversation when they were pre-schoolers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO you should focus on what you want to teach them, not on what you're afraid they'll learn. Proactive, not defensive. i mean lets' face it: there are more important lessons. if your 3yo is a stellar example of toddler behaviour when you go to a restaurant, it's largely irrelevant if they drop an f-bomb when they spill their drink ...might even be funny. but if they're exactly the opposite and are a ridiculous, crying, hollering mess in the restaurant, spill &gt; fbomb is just as irrelevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;now later on, say age 8-10, you may find that the kid is trying to stretch their boundaries by saying &quot;crap&quot; and &quot;hell&quot; or whatever around you... testing it out... seeing what they can get away with. I always stomp it immediatly. &quot;that is an adult word that adults use for adult reasons&quot; (yes i say adult that much) &quot;and you're not an adult. besides, if your grandmother heard you, she'd kill us both.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not going to stop them from thinking it or hearing it or learning it. I just taught mine not to say it out loud till they're old enuf to deal with the consequences on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T06:27:18.697" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2994" CreationDate="2011-09-22T06:38:28.653" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm facing a similar situation; being Danish and living in (German-speaking) Austria. I do have the advantage that my wife and mother-in-law understands Danish too, but nobody else in our social circle does. Here's how I would approach this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, agree with your wife that learning more than one language is always a benefit. It's even better when it's a language spoken by many. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/15/how-do-you-handle-bilingual-education-in-a-country-where-you-do-not-speak-the-language&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; (including comments and answers) provides arguments for this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Admit that it's often not practical to speak your language, but request that whenever it is practical, you want to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your wife could take classes to learn the basics of Hindi so that she has half a chance to grasp what you're saying. I'm aware that adults learn much slower than children, so she will inevitably fall behind quickly, but it's better to understand the basics than nothing at all. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You should speak as much Hindi with your child as you possibly can. Particularly at home, and also outside when you're not interacting with others. You can even &quot;get away with it&quot; in the presence of others when you're only addressing your child and it's not important that others know what you're saying. (Example: Giving instructions to your child on the playground.) If others' understanding is required, you could either say it in  one language then repeat in the other, or skip the Hindi. I try to say both if the situation permits it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Spoken&lt;/em&gt; language is often not a problem because you can provide it yourself, but written materials can be hard to come by. Answers to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/67/what-are-some-strategies-for-raising-a-bilingual-child&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; provide a handful of good suggestions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T06:38:28.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2011-09-22T06:42:36.433" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;What are ways to help a child put up against this peer pressure, without being left out?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the deal: that's merely a symptom. if all the kids are talkin about spongebob or frikkin pokemon, and your kid feels left out, it's truly not about spongebob or pokemon. . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it's about your kids self-awareness and confidence to be who he is. so he doesn't watch tv. they're not bettern him because they have 7 tv's in their house. Give the kid what they need to be confident in themselves (i guess we're trying to do this anyway, huh?) and they simply won't care what other kids think about them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 10yo girl can't stand justin beeper. i mean actively HATES the guys voice. all the cool kids think he's dreamy, but she doesn't care. . . now the context relevance to the post? she doesn't have an ipod or even cd player. she doesn't listen to or follow music at all, but won't hesitate to say &quot;who is that?&quot; and not care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as actually watching television? well, like anything else, you're the parent. you get to set the limits without fear of what the kid will think about you because they'll get over it. when my kids (6, 8, 10) want to watch any of the really bad cartoons that are popular these days, if i'm within earshot i say &quot;turn that crap off.&quot; yeah i'm grumpy... i make them change it. but the key is i don't make them change it just for the sake of changing it... i make them watch something else that's not sucky. believe it or not, they like the Discovery Science shows... How it's Made, Factory Made, Build it Bigger, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when Phineas and Ferb comes on, and i say change it, they roll their eyes and usually change it to Discovery first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2011-09-22T06:48:05.847" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T06:48:05.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2937" CreationDate="2011-09-22T06:53:23.750" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an old post but ima post for the benefit of anyone else that may need it...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First to do is leave immediately. go where? neighbor, quik trip, whatever, but get away from the danger. &quot;but what if they follow&quot; can't worry about that. Stimulus, response. Fight or flight, get out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2nd thing is call the police asafp. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3rd thing if you can stay put, do it. If you're uncertain about the situation there, then go somewhere else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T06:53:23.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="2999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2994" CreationDate="2011-09-22T06:55:20.957" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Much like Torben, my husband and I are also in a similar situation.  I'm American and my husband is Danish. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We use the &quot;one parent, one language&quot; approach with our son.  I speak only English to him and my husband only Danish.  We live in Denmark where the dominant language is (naturally) Danish. I have, however, learned Danish and can converse fluently with my husband in Danish.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;See if some Hindi children's programs are available on DVD so your child can get used to hearing Hindi from other sources as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son prefers to use Danish more than his English, but that is natural since he's exposed to it more. However he knows if he is speaking to me, he MUST use his English - I won't respond to him otherwise (emergencies aside).  He understands everything said in English, can count and say his alphabet and everything he can in Danish as well.   I read him bedtime stories in English and my husband Danish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes in public you'll get the 'wtf' looks when you use a different language, but I ignore them and continue using English only.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T06:55:20.957" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3000" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3004" CreationDate="2011-09-22T07:20:17.537" Score="5" ViewCount="1854" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 month old child will happily feed himself finger food, and is happy to let himself be spoon fed. However he doesn't seem to know what to do when I give him the spoon and bowl.  Typically he'll just wave the spoon around, whilst scooping up the food with his hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not expecting him to know how to do this correctly yet, but I wonder if there are any good ways of helping children learn to feed themselves properly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="802" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-12-29T03:53:32.347" LastActivityDate="2013-12-29T03:53:32.347" Title="How can I encourage my child to feed himself with a spoon?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2994" CreationDate="2011-09-22T08:05:57.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;An alternative would be to expose her solely or additionally to Hindi in daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter (2 years) speaks French in daycare and German at home. The transition for her to learn French and understand it took like 1-2 weeks. Children at that age are really receptive and pick it up easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general I don't see a problem if each parent sticks to one language when talking to the child. If you were speaking Hindi with each other, it would also be asymmetrical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1650" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T08:05:57.507" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3002" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3007" CreationDate="2011-09-22T09:04:43.980" Score="10" ViewCount="32600" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are trying to get our 12 month olds sleep routine improved now that both of us will be returning to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been working on getting the settling routine sorted out each night, and haven't quite yet got to him falling asleep on his own, but he does now settle quickly at the end of the routine in our arms.  We will be moving to trying to get him to settle in his cot soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once settled he will tend to do about 3-4 hours in his cot before waking screaming.  When cuddled he will settle down in about 10 minutes and can generally be put back in his cot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However often he will wake several times.  Last night he went down at 8, woke at 10, woke at 12, woke at 1am.  Each time putting him back in his cot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that point we gave up and brought him into our bed where he slept through to 6am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When waking up he is often on either all fours or standing in the cot whilst screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main problem is that he's no longer sleeping &quot;solidly&quot; and will often poke and prod his mum in his sleep, and she therefore doesn't get a great nights sleep.  And with us both back to work we both need our sleep as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1651" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-22T10:21:12.967" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T19:56:24.993" Title="How should we cope with 12 month old waking in the night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3000" CreationDate="2011-09-22T10:11:05.747" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a curved spoon for our 12 month old which he can happily use to get food to his mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He needs a bit of help to load the spoon up, but can poke around at the food himself&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1651" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T10:11:05.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3000" CreationDate="2011-09-22T12:20:39.593" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;New spoon feeders need training for the motor patterns of holding, scooping, lifting and placing a spoon in the mouth. It is quite an involved process for little ones involving visual perceptual skills, motor development and coordination of the fingers/hand, wrist, arm, shoulder, neck/head and mouth. Breaking the steps down, giving hand over assistant to program success, and practice, practice, practice will help the process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can begin with the following.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help the child grip the spoon while you place your hand over his. Together scoop and lift the spoon with you releasing after the food reaches his mouth. Allowing the child to independently remove the spoon from his mouth will increase his awareness of his new role and build on his success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching him to place the spoon back in the bowl/plate and scooping again will likely require your hand over his to achieve at first. Continue helping him lift the spoon toward his mouth removing your hand at the point that he can be independently successful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you continue this process, fade the hand over his assistance to just holding the tip of the handle to assist with hand position (most will initially turn the spoon over upside down once it reaches the mouth until the wrist pattern is learned). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important that he has lots of time just to explore manipulation of the spoon independently with food too. You may just want to begin with giving assistance for part of a meal and allowing him to continue finger feeding and exploring with the spoon on his own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beginning practice with foods that stick best to the spoon will provide the most initial success. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our occupational therapist sometimes recommends bent or curved spoons for children with motor difficulties, but promotes regular child-sized utensils for typically developing children to encourage the wrist development that is needed for these devices and later writing skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared for the mess and celebrate success! Most of all, watch with wonder the development of your little one at every stage of growth!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T12:20:39.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3002" CreationDate="2011-09-22T12:51:00.150" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not a real answer, as I can't provide a solution, but I'll share my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had the same problem (in addition it was very difficult to get our son to sleep, so it took a lot of time to get him to bed and during daytime he permanently needed someone directly near to him, so we were really exhausted). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It went better when he was about 14 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't remember that there was much we could do to make him sleep longer intervals without interruption.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think he slept better when he was in our bed with us.&#xA;The problem: for people which have problems to fall asleep again after being woken up at night this can be very hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it difficult for both of you to sleep in the same bed with him? If it is easier for you than for your wife, maybe you could take him with you to &quot;protect&quot; your wife form being poked and prodded...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T12:51:00.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3002" CreationDate="2011-09-22T13:21:03.567" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just had our 12 month check-up with our pediatrician, and she mentioned that around this age toddlers may start to experience nightmares.  This ties in with their development of more imaginative play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child wakes up from a nightmare, they will eventually learn to self-soothe.  However, this can take some time.  By cuddling the child, you may actually be prolonging the process by which they learn to self-soothe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;There are some rather deep schisms in the parenting community regarding sleep practices related to self-soothing.  I am going to describe the school of thought espoused by my pediatrician, but this is not a condemnation of the other school of thought that supports always comforting a crying child, nor is it a claim that one way is &quot;right&quot; and the other &quot;wrong&quot;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The steps we were recommended were as follows:&#xA;When the child wakes up in the middle of the night, immediately go in and speak reassuringly.  You can stroke the child's head, pat his back, hold his hand, etc.; whatever physical soothing and reassurance works best for your child &lt;em&gt;that does not involve picking up the child or feeding him&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the child has calmed down, leave the room.  Chances are good the child will start to cry and/or scream again.  Do not come back in for 20 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, after 20 minutes, the child is still crying, you can go back in and repeat the first step (i.e. comfort without picking up or feeding until he quiets).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Repeat this as many times as needed until the child goes back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long this process takes varies widely from child to child.  Many children will start sleeping through the night again within one to three days.  Others may take up to two weeks.  For some children, this technique might simply not work at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as an alternative, instead of waiting 20 minutes, you can start off by waiting 5 minutes before coming back in, then gradually increase the duration until you reach 20 minutes.  This is more for peace of mind for the parents than the child, but it can be extremely difficult for most parents to sit there listening to your child cry without immediately running back in to comfort them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T13:21:03.567" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3002" CreationDate="2011-09-22T13:38:04.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your question, it sounds as if this is the first time you have moved him out of your bed and into his own space. This is a very difficult transition. If your child is accustom to sleeping with you, it will be a hard for your child to adjust to not having that constant physical attachment. I would suggest that you start by putting his bed right next to your bed so when he stirs, you are able to reach over and comfort him before he fully wakes. After he adjusts to being in his own bed in close proximity, then ease him into completely his own space. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to remember that change is always hard, especially for young children who do not have the brain development to reason through these changes not being a rejection. Take it one step at a time and expect that it will not happen all at once. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T13:38:04.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3000" CreationDate="2011-09-22T13:58:48.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say you show him how to use it. Stand behind him, put it in his hand, hold his hand, and scoop the food put it towards his mouth. With your hand over his, he will relax that arm and you won't have to force anything. If he is actively pushing against you then you have some other problem to deal with: not hunger, doesn't want this food, doesn't like you... oh wait.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is he'll learn it. Like anything else it takes time, effort and patience. Teach by example, and by literal hand-holding. You may have to do it over several sessions, so just be patient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-09-22T18:06:57.807" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T18:06:57.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3010" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3012" CreationDate="2011-09-22T17:20:06.950" Score="33" ViewCount="18717" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have decided to minimize the number of toys for our daughter for a variety of reasons... we have a small house, I am unemployed also we see how greedy many children who have everything are. With that being said, I feel like there are some toys that are developmentally important to stimulate her and encourage development. How do we know how many toys are enough and at what point does it become too much? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point she is too young to ask for things (5.5 months) so it is not an issue of her asking for toys. I really want to provide her with all advantages to develop without creating a culture of excess in our home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="4321" LastEditDate="2013-05-20T07:54:56.017" LastActivityDate="2021-09-12T14:50:29.823" Title="How many toys are enough/ too much?" Tags="|infant|development|toys|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3010" CreationDate="2011-09-22T17:44:43.320" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, I really like your motivation.  My daughter is 6.5 months, and we don't have many toys for her (her toys could probably all fit in a grocery bag), but I am already thinking we have too many.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was talking to a friend of mine with 8 kids, and I think she has the right idea.  She told me that she didn't go and buy special things for her kids to play with, she just let them play with things they already owned.  Her youngest boy's favorite toy was a whisk from the kitchen.  He'd drool all over it, and then she could wash it and throw it back in the utensil drawer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stimulation is important, but if you're a little creative, you can do it for little or no money.  I suggest you compile a short list of toys that are important for development.  Like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a mirror&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;something that makes noise&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;something that she can chew&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;something that encourages fine motor skills&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't an exhaustive list, but you get the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, you need to decide if you need to buy something new for each item.  Maybe you don't want to let her play with the glass hand mirror you have, but do you get her a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B003KN275A&quot;&gt;$20 hungry hungry catterpiller mirror&lt;/a&gt;, or a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B003BT2RQM&quot;&gt;$2 plastic locker mirror&lt;/a&gt;?  You can also throw some dried beans in a cylindrical tupperware, and let her chase it around the floor.  (This last would be good for fine motor skills, because if she wants to grab the container, she has to do so gently or it rolls away.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your daughter gets older, she'll hopefully imitate your creativity and invent some toys of her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T17:44:43.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3010" CreationDate="2011-09-22T18:03:28.687" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember that quality is more important than quantity!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it can be a bit easier to go overboard with toys for infants and toddlers, due to the volume you may receive from adult friends during baby showers and early birthday parties that may be more geared towards your family and friends than the baby's friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some toys naturally become favorites (a preferred stuffed animal, for example).  Others can be picked specifically for their educational value.  You want to make sure that whatever toys you have can keep the child's attention.  However, each child has a different attention span, so that can be hard to judge.  It can also be helpful to have something that is familiar (and therefore reassuring), such as the stereotypical &quot;security blanket&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important thing to realize is that you don't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to buy toys, ever.  There are &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; ways to entertain a child, regardless of the age, without going out and purchasing some fancy toy.  A big cardboard box is likely to provide as much entertainment as a $30 electronic gadget (much as I love me some electronic gadgets!), and will stimulate more use of creativity and imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that as your child gets older, you focus on picking toys for their &lt;em&gt;meta&lt;/em&gt; value.  Crayons, legos, building blocks etc. are fun not for what they are, but what you can make out of them.  Particularly if you combine them with other objects (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.makingfriends.com/animal/dog_puppet.htm&quot;&gt;example&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how many toys is &quot;too much&quot;, I think the real issue you are asking about is more a function of how your child perceives the toys, rather than how many are there.  If your child has 200 toys, but doesn't have a huge attachment to them, shares well, and doesn't throw a tantrum when she sees one she &lt;em&gt;doesn't&lt;/em&gt; own, then I'd say its not too many (although where and how you store them may disagree!).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I've seen the opposite happen, where parents were really careful not to overwhelm their child with tons of toys, and the child wound up coveting any toys they saw, and getting really upset when told they couldn't take them all home.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that the toys are marketed towards the children as much as the adults, and most manufacturers know that getting the kid to do the sales pitch for them can be the most effective method of selling their product.  Reducing exposure to commercials aimed at children's toys may help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record, so far one of my son's favorite toys is a remote control for a DVD player we don't use anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T18:03:28.687" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-22T21:18:26.607" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mom swears all the time and I don't swear. There's a difference between swearing and being down right vulgar, which is if you made someone tried to run off that road, you flick them off and say &quot;f u&quot;; that's just swearing out of anger, being vulgar would be you being in the same situation and calling him a sexual term, which I don't think any kid should hear. I wouldn't change the way how you use your language around the kid, if you are not being vulgar, they are going to pick it up somewhere ,but I would make it clear to the little one that just because you do it, it is not OK for him to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1654" LastEditorUserId="1654" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T17:00:14.967" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T17:00:14.967" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3014" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-22T22:09:46.490" Score="14" ViewCount="4267" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of us in the office today were talking about young girls and makeup. One mentioned that his daughter is thirteen and already wearing makeup, another mentioned her niece wears makeup as well and is about the same age. However, growing up, I was not allowed to wear makeup until I had graduated from high school. I'm curious if this has to do with cultural norms, is unique to my parents, or just a relative maturity thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, at what age is it appropriate to begin allowing one's daughter to wear makeup?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-09-23T05:19:09.107" LastActivityDate="2012-07-28T16:27:34.793" Title="How young is too young to start wearing makeup?" Tags="|age-appropriate|teen|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-22T23:24:32.730" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it is not OK for your child to do it, why in the world would it be OK for you to do it? You set a double standard that will ultimately result in the child doing what you do. It is the same for smoking/drinking/yelling/abusing/over eating. If you do these things, it is a good bet that your child will as well. If you don't want them to do it, then you need to stop.  Too many parents these days are too selfish to truly make the changes in their own lives that will in turn benefit the lives of their children. To be a truly great parent it requires lots of sacrifice... be it time/money/desires/habits. If you want to be a great parent, you need to be willing for the sake of your child to give things up. The key word is willing. If it is not given up willingly, then you will never stick with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="238" LastEditorUserId="14506" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T12:00:08.360" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T12:00:08.360" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3010" CreationDate="2011-09-22T23:33:13.800" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main point is that kids crave and need stimulation and it's important for their development that they get it. So if they are not getting it from toys or from television they need to get it from somewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best place to get that stimulation is from their parents. So if you don't use the alternative this can be a big task; it can be tiring and draining, but ultimately its very beneficial to the child to spend plenty of time with their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Involve your child in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/968/what-are-some-age-appropriate-tasks-that-my-pre-schooler-can-do-around-the-house&quot;&gt;household activities&lt;/a&gt; this helps them feel valued&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not sure what space you have, but a pet is a gift that keeps on giving. We have chickens and my son loves them. He can collect eggs, feed and help cleaning&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Friends and family are very generous, we have rarely bought toys for my son and we never buy Christmas or Birthday presents for him because our friends are so generous. In return we are also generous back (this is important). This means our son is not used to us regularly buying stuff for him, but he is used to regularly giving and sharing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy toys that challenge and also can be played over and over. My son loves jigsaw puzzles, LEGO etc. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-09-22T23:33:13.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3017" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-22T23:39:29.247" Score="11" ViewCount="60180" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son was flat footed with very little arch. His pediatrician was not concerned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In preschool, he complained of discomfort when wearing shoes with an arch support. By age 9-10, his condition resulted in continual knee and hip pain. Our doctor explained to us it was just &quot;growing pains&quot; from rapid growth spurts. He was never concerned about his feet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a physical therapist that I worked with educated us in exercises, wrapping support and identification of supportive shoes. This information and strategies stopped his pain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, it is frustrating to know that information was available that would have prevented pain and discomfort in your child, yet you did not know of it. One of the roles of parents is to continuously gather information that may or may not be needed for your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should parents know about &quot;flat feet&quot;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-24T12:20:13.847" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T10:22:07.180" Title="What should parents know about &quot;flat feet&quot;? " Tags="|toddler|health|middle-childhood|growth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3018" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-23T00:06:26.690" Score="6" ViewCount="2873" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a wide variety of pacifier styles and many boast claims of being more like the breast or more natural. What criteria should parents use in selecting a pacifier? Should it be based solely on finding the one that a child will accept?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-15T13:44:58.347" Title="What should parents consider when selecting a pacifier?" Tags="|infant|pacifier|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3018" CreationDate="2011-09-23T02:28:13.217" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Safety is the most important criteria (though most pacifiers you can find for sale meet safety guidelines).  Other than that, all pacifiers are equally good/bad for your child depending on how responsibly you use them.  Let your baby choose his favorite!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Safety&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt; Make sure the nipple cannot detatch from the pacifier&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt; The shield (the plastic part) should have holes to prevent rashes and asphyxiation &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt; Don't use a string to tie the pacifier to your baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Orthodontic vs. Rounded&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All types of pacifiers were shown to cause dental problems with &lt;em&gt;prolonged use&lt;/em&gt; (beyond the age of 5).  This quote is from DrGreen.com, a maker of orthodontic pacifiers: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Studies indicate that children who use orthodontic pacifiers have a smaller chance of developing an open bite or an overbite than those who use conventional round pacifiers. This difference is hard to demonstrate, though, because neither type tends to cause problems unless sucked intensely for years. It’s more important to choose a shape your baby enjoys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Silicone vs. Rubber&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Silicone is sturdier and harder to chew through, it is easier to clean (because of its texture), and it doesn't retain odors like rubber does.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Latex isn't as sturdy, so teething babies can chew through it, and many cleanings will wear it out.  However, some babies prefer the softer texture and the fact it retains odors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-09-23T23:20:28.023" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T23:20:28.023" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3017" CreationDate="2011-09-23T08:59:35.393" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have exceedingly flat feet.  For as long as I can remember until about 16 I had all my shoes built up with orthotics - which for a teenager being limited to &quot;real&quot; shoes rather than sneakers was a pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also had regular physiotherapy appointments and was meant to carry that through in my day to day life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I then tried to take care with the footwear I was buying and make sure that it always had good support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was all supposed to reduce the chance of problems in later life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About 5 years ago (age 30) I started to have knee problems and this was identified as being related once again to my flat feet.  New orthotics and exercise were proscribed and not much helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently I have taken a different tack.  I have started to wear &quot;barefoot&quot; trainers, with minimal sole and built-in support.  There are several on the market, the most prominent being Vibram 5 fingers, and these seem to be helping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to back this up with exercise to build up the strength of my knees now they are feeling better - I should be doing exercise bike 30 mins a day, but with a 1 year old have neither time nor money.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should also be doing tendon stretches on my Achilles - standing on a step and dropping my heels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1651" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T08:59:35.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3014" CreationDate="2011-09-23T10:44:04.507" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every family will need to decide the age for wearing make-up for themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that marketers target, younger and younger children with beauty/make-up toys and products including glamour make-up dolls, &quot;play&quot; make-up and glamor photo shoots for very young children, and glamor magazines for preteens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps rather than set a precise age, parents should focus on teaching proper use of make-up from a young age long before actually wearing it. Discussing what is &quot;artificial&quot; verses &quot;natural&quot; and having general discussions about who &quot;wears it well&quot; vs. &quot;too much&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents may choose to allow certain types of make up at a younger age. Tinted lip gloss seems to be a good place to begin. Adding other types of make-up for &quot;special events&quot; or to deal with blemishes as needed or appropriate to enhance ones beauty. These are wonderful conversations and training opportunities for parents to have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When to wear make-up may best be decided (like so many other parenting decisions) by demonstration of maturity and family preference rather than a specific age.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T10:44:04.507" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2994" CreationDate="2011-09-23T12:26:34.633" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't want to cover much more than has been said, but my wife is from Taiwan and I am American so she generally speaks Mandarin to our sons, while I speak English.  That worked well for us, we also have DVD's and exposed the children to cultural events, as well as family events, where they were surrounded by the culture and the language.  DVD's and CD's only go so far.  We also have children's books and stories that are in both languages so they see the languages in books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition we do a Chinese Language school every week, where the kids get instruction in the language in a formal setting.  This has helped them out, and exposed them to additional culture as the classes are not only for speaking and writing but on cultural events as well.  Start checking around for schools that will help out, you can do a lot at home, but nothing beats a real classroom setting for instruction - IMO anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T12:26:34.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3023" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3028" CreationDate="2011-09-23T13:00:17.403" Score="11" ViewCount="90220" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand that temper tantrums are relatively normal for many children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, some children seem to have far more temper tantrums than other children their age, and others far fewer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can temper tantrums be indicative of problems that should be addressed?  If so, how do you tell the difference between &quot;normal&quot; temper tantrums and ones that indicate a problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2017-04-11T21:41:38.457" Title="Can temper tantrums indicate a behavior problem?" Tags="|behavior|tantrums|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3023" CreationDate="2011-09-23T14:21:24.667" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If throwing a tantrum gets the child something the child wants, then lots of tantrums only indicates that the child is not an idiot. As a parent, you need to be aware of how the tantrums develop and decide what is really going on. When you make that determination, figuring out if there is something bigger than trying to get a want satisfied is pretty straight-forward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue is not that temper tantrums happen, or even how often temper tantrums happen, it is whether the child responds to correction and how quickly the child goes from calm to crazy. If the child doesn't respond to corrective actions, or has a shorter trigger than other kids of a similar age, I might be concerned and look at things more deeply, or even go see a professional. But if the parental response to a tantrum is to cave, the kid will throw tantrums all day long, and that will be perfectly normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a good discussion about dealing with tantrums &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1244/how-can-you-deal-with-tantrums-without-spanking&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, although the higher voted answers seem to be more about calming the child and negotiating, which will encourage more tantrums, than about preventing future tantrums. What that says about parents and kids today I haven't figured out yet ... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T14:21:24.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3023" CreationDate="2011-09-23T14:36:57.310" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;After doing some research on this, it seems that some tantrum behaviors might be warning signs of problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, though, it is helpful to understand what causes tantrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tantrums are the results of a child feeling overwhelmed or frustrated.  They typically occur in children aged 2-3, and normally taper off by 4 years of age.  They are normal parts of growing up, and frequently occur when the child's vocabulary isn't sufficient to express their feelings. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/consumer/10248.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Source&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the article goes on to describe some of the boundaries of &amp;quot;normal&amp;quot; temper tantrums:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children who have temper tantrums often have other problems like thumb&#xA;sucking, head banging, bed wetting and problem sleeping. If these&#xA;behaviors happen, or if your child has temper tantrums that last more&#xA;than 15 minutes or occur three or more times a day at younger than 1&#xA;or older than 4, seek help from a family physician, psychologist, or&#xA;marriage and family therapist. Be advised to seek more than an&#xA;exclusively behavior therapy approach, for results have been reported&#xA;to be about equally effective and ineffective (11, 14, 17). An&#xA;approach is recommended that combines the best of behavior&#xA;modification, family systems thinking (1), and other approaches like&#xA;paradoxical intervention (6).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article continues to describe a cycle of destructive behavior patterns that can be associated with problem tantrum behavior:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes temper tantrums in preschool children are the beginning of&#xA;patterns that lead to children becoming increasingly disobedient,&#xA;rebellious and aggressive as they grow older. At the Oregon Social&#xA;Learning Center, aggressive boys in angry families were studied (12,&#xA;13). A complex pattern was observed that included:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents have trouble with some stressor events like divorce, prolonged&#xA;unemployment, illness, alcohol or other drug problems, other chronic&#xA;problems, or dealing with a difficult child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents have difficulty controlling children's teasing, yelling, disobedience, whining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents allow the child to get away with angry displays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As children learn what they can get away with if they are encouraged to display temper tantrums, angry outbursts, etc., they become increasingly disobedient, rebellious and aggressive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;More and more peers reject the child and parents tend to reject or avoid the child, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Carol Tavris&#xA;(16), in her book, Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion, writes about the&#xA;pattern becoming circular and occurring hundreds of times each day.&#xA;She sees the pattern as a three-step process:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child is attacked, criticized, or yelled at by an exasperated&#xA;parent, brother or sister;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child responds aggressively.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child's aggression is rewarded when the attacker withdraws and the&#xA;child learns to use tactics such as whining, yelling and temper&#xA;tantrums.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When other family members also use these methods, the&#xA;problems increase. At the Oregon Social Learning Center, Patterson&#xA;(12, 13) found that when angry exchanges lasted longer than 18&#xA;seconds, the family had an increased chance of becoming violent. When&#xA;talking or even yelling went on and on, it often led to hitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://children.webmd.com/tc/temper-tantrums-symptoms&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt; supports the warning signs indicated above, and provides a few examples of other problem signs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Difficult behavior that frequently lasts longer than 15 minutes,&#xA;occurs more than 3 times a day, or is more aggressive may indicate&#xA;that a child has a medical, emotional, or social problem that needs&#xA;attention. These are not considered typical temper tantrums. Difficult&#xA;behaviors may include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kicking, hitting, biting, scratching, hair pulling, or pinching other&#xA;people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Throwing or breaking things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Head-banging or inflicting&#xA;self-injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T14:36:57.310" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3010" CreationDate="2011-09-23T14:59:21.330" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;4 things here&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) aesthetically speaking, i don't believe that a 6mo old baby can have too many toys. you don't know what they like, they don't know what they like. variety will let you discover that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) you will however see what they don't like; they simply won't play with it. you can easily focus the collection by identifying these things. do not hesitate to lop off toys one at a time. or even bag and take a huge swath of the collection to Salvation Army. you can do this guilt free up until they're about 4-5 and then you'll have to start explaining it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) just like everything else in the relationship, &lt;em&gt;you're the parent.&lt;/em&gt; you're the one running the relationship and you're going to do what you can to provide them with what they need to become a productive, honorable citizen... i mean this... you wouldn't be here asking the question if you weren't trying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;therefore, &lt;em&gt;do not hesitate to modify the collection as you see fit.&lt;/em&gt; add/change/delete the collection whenever you think is best however you think is best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) toys are NOT the be all end all of baby stimulus. more valuable than the best toy is sitting in your lap fighting with you over the remote. toys on the floor are great, and pretty much a required part of babyhood (they gotta learn mobility). but remember that most of what a person learns comes before age 3, and that solid interaction with you showing them how to operate the bandsaw or calculate the circumference of an ellipse will have more of an impact than a splendiferous baby toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T14:59:21.330" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3023" CreationDate="2011-09-23T15:40:55.027" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 5 kids (20, 18, 10, 8, 6) and none of them ever threw a tantrum. we had some arguments, and they would sometimes cry after a decision had been made, but they never tantrummed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;therefore, I disagree that tantrums are normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it is my belief that by the time a child gets to the age of the so=called 'terrible 2s', that they have &lt;strong&gt;already&lt;/strong&gt; cultivated tantrum behaviour and it is a solid part of their personality. in other words, a tantrum doesn't just pop out like rain, it grows over time. like an oak tree. and by 2-3, you're looking at a down=line behaviour with foundation, not individual occurrences of somewhat related bad behaviour. To put it more harshly, if your 2yo is throwing tantrums, blame yourself for a year or two of what could have been better parenting... more on this later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;at 2-3, it's not too late to put the kibosh on it. but it will certainly take some harsh changes and will definitely take time, effort, patience. because at it's core, it's about control. who controls the relationship. &quot;I'm the parent, I make the decisions, you will like it and you will sit your ass there until i say you can get up.&quot; or whatever... &lt;em&gt;(yeah cussing refer to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2985/how-do-my-wife-and-i-stop-our-son-from-learning-to-swear-from-us&quot;&gt;How do my wife and I stop our son from learning to swear from us?&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understand: a child this age only knows what they want and they do not understand subtlety. negotiating will only result in you giving in and not getting anything. even giving in a little &quot;ok 5 more minutes before bed&quot; is still &lt;em&gt;giving in&lt;/em&gt;. so be hardcore. &quot;can i have 5 more minutes?&quot; &quot;No.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now some parents can do this. what they can't do is maintain control. it's the hard part and can be done without spanking. in the above scenario, when you make them sit down, you have to be in control, make them sit and stop the noise. it will be trying, they won't like it and they'll fight you the entire way, but you're bigger and you absolutely can be in control of the relationship...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and here's why you want control: it is much easier to define the boundaries of the real world from the INSIDE than it is from the OUTSIDE. in other words, you'll be more successful in releasing them to reality a little at a time than trying to pull them back in a little at a time. if you control every aspect of their life today, and over time give them more and more freedom as you think they're ready... just a little bit here and there to give them their control of their own world, then they will have a much tighter foundation as they get older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;as far as the taking the blame goes, it's another way of saying that you've identified the problem and you admit to it. every 12 step program starts with admitting and accepting that you have a problem... because if you can admit to yourself that &quot;i probably could have done better in the past&quot; then you absolutely will do better in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;i look at my 20 an 18 yos, but even at these ages after i've long since stopped telling them what to do, they actively listen to me and accept my advice. they are proof positive to me that the way i'm raising my 6 year old may not be the nicest or the best, but it actually works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T15:40:55.027" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3023" CreationDate="2011-09-23T17:25:49.633" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tantrums are a symptom, not really the problem. You can try to deal with the symptom but until you get to the root of the actual cause, you stand little chance of eliminating the symptom in the long term. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to remember that many toddlers have not really developed their ability to communicate. Often a tantrum is a sign of frustration, however it is important to always remember that our children are learning every time we respond to something they do. If a child throws a tantrum and it results in getting what they are seeking, then of course more tantrums are in your future. That is not to say that if you do not give in they will stop all together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for commonalities in the tantrums - is there a common trigger? Is it something you could head off? Begin talking with your toddler about expectations before you get there&quot;we are going into the store to buy new pants, we will not be looking at toys today.&quot; That way if they begin to ask in the store you can circle back to the previous conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The number one thing to do to help your child is to be consistent and to follow through - it you tell them you will leave the store if they have a tantrum, then you must leave regardless of the inconvenience to you. Now is the time to let them know what the expectations are and you are not going to back down - at some point they will stop testing you. Know it is never too late to help your child be in better control of their behavior. A book I strongly recommend is &quot;No: why kids of all ages need to hear it and ways parents can say it&quot; by David Walsh. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will further say, as someone who has taught students of all grades from preschool to high school, now is the time to really make the effort to get it under control or your teenager will be more than a handful!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T17:25:49.633" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3014" CreationDate="2011-09-23T19:39:08.897" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another approach is to ask why you wouldn't allow your daughter to wear make-up, as social stigmas around make-up use are largely generational.  That also means that what worked for your mother, what worked for you, and what will work for your daughter don't have to be similar at all.  Make-up has a number of different varieties and applications, and these days letting a girl put cover-up on a blemish in middle-school seems almost universally approved, though you mentioned that you weren't allowed to use make-up until you were out of high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she visits my wife while she's getting ready, my 3 year old daughter will often walk out of the bathroom with eyeliner, blush, and lip gloss.  Aside from being adorable, it's a fun monther-daughter thing they can share at an age when my daughter often focuses on &quot;dad stuff&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By allowing our daughter to learn about make-up as a normal part of feminine behavior, we plan to contrast my sisters' leaving the house dutifully without makeup only to dollop it on in the bathroom at school relying only on peer review in the absence of parental instruction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, there's not a right answer and each family and community has its own norms that you can accept or challenge as you see fit, but if you acknowledge that make-up will likely become a regular part of her beauty routine it may be something best modeled by and learned from you anytime she shows an interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1645" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T19:39:08.897" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1186" CreationDate="2011-09-23T20:01:06.823" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The short answer:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As soon as your little one starts to copy you, go ahead and chant declinsion and conjugation endings--you'll be amazed at how effortlessly they pick it up and how much it lets you skip in instructions down the road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The long answer:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching classical languages provides different educational opportunities in early development than teaching spoken languages, and many of the drawbacks linguists identify in partial bilingualism during development years (most notably confusion between divergent grammatical arrays and non-cognate based synonymous misapplication) are avoided altogether by teaching a systematic non-spoken language like the ones you mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Latin and Greek are often taught as written languages, which often prevents parents and early childhood educators from using the similar pedagogical approaches to the ones that they learned with.  The construction forms of these languages can be learned easily by pre-literate children in a way that will forever simplify an in-depth study of the languages as a later age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For an example, a fundamental start in the study of ancient Greek would be to teach the alphabet, which can be learned as a song and later symbolically associated to the letters with flashcards.  Once grasped, the Greek alphabet will likely be a life-long skill and will make later forays into the language that much easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Due to a strong capacity for lists and memorization, you can start teaching Latin declensions and conjugations between 2 1/2 to 3 or whenever the general verbal skills allow.  When you first started learning Latin and the teacher put you on the spot to give the ending for the second declension ablative plural, you may have had to think through it in your head, recite the whole list to give the answer.  If you had already knew the lists by heart as a young child, recognizing the forms in writing or recalling an element on demand is trivial and makes the other elements of the study easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more great benefit of studying the classics is the light they shed on language as a whole.  Helping your child learn English parts of speech from a Latin perspective, for example, helps to systemize linguistics unconsciously.  Having your child identify gerundives and passive imperfect tense with English sentences builds a framework for an advanced understanding of both English and Latin grammar down the road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1645" LastActivityDate="2011-09-23T20:01:06.823" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3031" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3051" CreationDate="2011-09-23T22:03:08.310" Score="17" ViewCount="806" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are going through the process preparing to become adoptive parents. We have an 8-year-old biological child already. What are some things things we can do to help him be prepared,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A) for no longer being an only child; and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B) for the arrival of kids who may not have previously had a stable home life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="89" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T03:24:45.740" Title="How can we prepare our child for the arrival of adopted siblings?" Tags="|primary-schooler|adoption|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3031" CreationDate="2011-09-24T03:04:12.530" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fortunately for you, your son is 8. That's an age where you can reason and explain things. It's infinitely easier than if they were even 6, because they're still pretty selfish at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't say how old the incoming is... that would really help. I would think that an infant or toddler would be easier than a child or kid. If they're teensy, then I would say to 1) enlist them to help and 2) explain that they'll require a lot of attention, but that's because they're a baby and not because you like them better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, though, I think if you get in your 8-year-old's head and answer as many questions as you can ahead of time, and set the expectation, then you'll be good to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congrats and I wish you luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-09-26T23:52:53.500" LastActivityDate="2011-09-26T23:52:53.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2759" CreationDate="2011-09-24T08:25:46.727" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are some special holds that &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tiger in the Tree&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/H3dRr.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a site with a video showing the hold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cheshiremum.co.uk/tag/tiger-in-the-tree/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cheshiremum.co.uk/tag/tiger-in-the-tree/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Swinging&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once your baby can hold her head steady there are a bunch of different swings you can try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sit your baby down.  Sit behind her.  Put your hands under her arms and over her thighs and hold her lower legs.  Stand up, keeping her in that position, and start swinging your arms side to side.  Practice on a big stuffed toy first!  It sounds more confusing than it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Coping for parents&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Accept the fact that some babies do cry for no known reason, and that if you've covered all the obvious stuff, and then tried the special techniques, and got some medical advice, and your baby is still crying, that there might not be anything to do about it just then.  This is very hard to cope with, and the parents will need support.  Maybe try &quot;tag teaming&quot;, so one parent stays with baby while the other leaves the house. Or get a well known and trusted sitter so the parents can get away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a UK website that supports parents of crying babies. Maybe there are versions in other countries?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cry-sis.org.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cry-sis.org.uk/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-25T18:42:32.717" LastActivityDate="2011-09-25T18:42:32.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3017" CreationDate="2011-09-25T01:10:21.640" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies are born with flatfeet. Per the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.umm.edu/orthopaedic/flatfeet.html&quot;&gt;Univeristy of Maryland Medical Center&lt;/a&gt;, eighty percent of children will develop an arch between the ages of 3 and 10 years. The remaining 20 percent will likely have flatfeet. One or both feet may be affected. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A foot is flat if the arch of the foot touches or nearly touches the floor when the child stands. A wet footprint can quickly identify the absence or presence of an arch. A wide connection between the forefoot and heal on the print indicates a flatfoot or a limited arch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two types of flatfeet; rigid and flexible. Rigid flatfeet are due to fusing of bones or abnormal development in the feet and has more serious consequences than flexible flatfeet. A physician will likely identify and treat rigid flatfeet with orthotics or surgery after an extensive medical work up. However, physicians are rarely concerned about flexible flatfeet and the vast majority of children will require no treatment for the condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children with flexible flatfeet are asymptomatic. However, some children complain of discomfort when wearing footwear with arch supports. Other children are clumsy or walk oddly to compensate for pain and discomfort. Very active children or ones who participate in sports requiring running or jumping sometimes complain of foot and leg pain or limp and fatigue on long walks. Sometimes, the ankles roll inward as a child walks or runs and creates uneven wear patterns on shoes and causes stress and associated pain in knees and hips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Arch Supports&lt;/strong&gt;: Parents should be aware of the degree of arch in their child's feet and buy shoes that match the arch to provide for comfort and support. Shoes with arch supports of easily molded material with good shock absorbing capacity are recommended. Shoes with high arch support do not help a child develop arches and may even contribute to weaker arches and flatter feet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Orthotics&lt;/strong&gt;: There is no evidence that wearing orthotics are effective treatments to correct flatfeet. However, orthotics may be useful in preventing the ankles from rolling inward and reduce the strain on muscles and the associated pain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son found that wearing over the counter 3/4 length inserts significantly reduced his knee and leg pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Wrapping&lt;/strong&gt;: Properly wrapping ankles with elastic bandages to support them during sports activities may be beneficial. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This significantly reduced our son's pain during running activities such as Pee Wee basketball and track. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Barefoot&lt;/strong&gt;: Going barefoot is the best protection against flatfeet per &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.unshod.org/pfbc/pfmedresearch.htm&quot;&gt;research&lt;/a&gt;. Arches can be strengthened by going barefoot on uneven terrain. Walking in sand is especially exercising. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shoes&lt;/strong&gt;: Wearing sandals or slippers may help support development of arches. Shoes should be lightweight and flexible with the sole generally rectangular shaped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found that it required some searching to find shoes that the toe and heel were generally the same width with no cut out or narrowing of shape at the arch. The most popular and most expensive shoes usually did not meet the criteria. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Exercise&lt;/strong&gt;: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_gymnastics&quot;&gt;Foot gymnastics&lt;/a&gt; are games and exercises that may contribute to improve arch development in children. Our son actually enjoyed these activities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Weight&lt;/strong&gt;: Obesity also contributes to flatfeet and is just one more reason for maintaining more optimum weight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am happy to report that our son is now an adult and no longer has flat feet or the associated pain and discomfort he suffered as a child. I am thankful that we discovered the information we needed to support that outcome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-09-25T11:06:30.077" LastActivityDate="2011-09-25T11:06:30.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3035" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-25T06:56:13.417" Score="25" ViewCount="45160" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old is completely pee trained, no issues when dealing with that. But when it comes to using the toilet for poop, he refuses. I'm constantly catching him going in his pants, leaving streaks in his underwear three or four times a day until he finally gets it all out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Driving me mad. I've tried to reward him with candy, but that didn't help. I tried to eat his candy when he went in his pants, that didn't help. I always give him massive praise when he goes in the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've resorted to just putting him back in pull-ups and forgetting about it for a month or two. What worked for you and what do you suggest that I try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="969" LastActivityDate="2015-09-05T18:44:51.837" Title="How do you convince your son to poop in the toilet?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3036" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-09-25T10:50:42.457" Score="9" ViewCount="3747" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been trying to potty train my daughter over the summer to prepare her for nursery school. She started sitting on the potty for hours just in case she wet in spite of being told this was not necessary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She feels very insecure when she wears pants. We have gone back to nappies and pull ups. She has started nursery and is the only kid who is not potty trained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, she refuses to go on the potty and nothing I say can sway her. Explaining that, &quot;You're a big girl now and big girls don't wear nappies&quot; does not help. She gets very upset when I talk about the toilet or potty. She states, &quot;I don't like the potty or toilet anymore&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has no delay in her development. In fact, she is quite bright.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any advice on how to sway her without her getting upset? Her screaming cry when she is upset is unbearable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1658" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-25T17:51:28.260" LastActivityDate="2018-10-25T17:51:28.260" Title="How can I potty train my 4-year-old daughter?" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3037" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3047" CreationDate="2011-09-25T12:09:12.797" Score="3" ViewCount="15457" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has been potty trained for about 8 months and going well.  Currently, we still put her in a diaper for her nap and when she sleeps at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suddenly, she doesn't want to go to the potty at all.  At minimum we have to remind and bribe her to get on the potty.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For a while it seemed that she was holding it in until she got into her diaper.  Now it seems like even that is an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, to note, we just had a newborn so not sure if this is related.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions on how to get my daughter back on the potty?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastActivityDate="2018-11-25T20:01:22.813" Title="How to deal with potty trained 3 year old who now won't go to the potty?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3023" CreationDate="2011-09-25T12:17:48.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nasponline.org/resources/behavior/tantrums_ho.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The National Association of School Psychologist&lt;/a&gt; clarifies that every child between the ages of 1-4 years has temper tantrums with more than half of young children having one or more per week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This source emphasizes the similarities of the &quot;terrible twos&quot; with adolescence due to both being fueled by the struggle for independence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The normal developmental course for tantrums is outlined and explained. When a child is denied their desire for self-control and independence their limited skills in language and egocentric view point results in their communicating their frustration through tantrums. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By age 3, their communication skills have improved and tantrums typically decrease unless the child has learned that tantrums get them what they want. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article details excellent prevention, interventions and management strategies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article further clarifies typical verses atypical tantrums. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If, despite the use of these interventions, the tantrums are increasing in frequency, intensity, or duration, consult your child’s doctor. You should also consult your child’s doctor if the child is self-injurious, hurtful to others, depressed, showing signs of low self-esteem, or is overly dependent on a parent or teacher for support. Your pediatrician or family physician can check for hearing or vision problems, chronic illness, or conditions such as Asperger’s syndrome, language delays, or a learning disability, which may be contributing to your child’s increasing temper tantrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-09-25T12:17:48.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-25T14:09:40.623" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you find it difficult to stop, and can't reduce the number of cases to a non-problematic level, you could immediately and regretfully chastise yourself, not because you said the word, but because your reaction was inappropriate.  Babies tend to be pretty sensitive to emotional context, and that would help give the impression that this is something you wish you did differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is, I think, the most effective way to get across the &quot;do as I say, not as I do&quot; point.  If you seem (even better, if you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt;) genuinely disappointed to be doing as you do not as you say, there is much less motivation to emulate your behavior.  (It still might not work, but my parents managed to avoid passing on certain habits to all three of their children by using this tactic.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2011-09-25T14:09:40.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-09-25T16:51:05.723" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer from the collective &quot;Captain Obvious&quot; ... Don't cuss in front of the kid ... is certainly correct. I don't expect it is very helpful to the OP, either. I am sure it occurred to him already, and I expect he asked here because he and his wife are struggling with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the real question, as far as I am concerned, is ... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do parents prevent kids from doing things that they themselves do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is actually a legit question, and actually comes up again and again as kids grow into adults. Topics include staying up late, chores, homework, drinking, sex, makeup, driving over the speed limit, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The real answer is &lt;strong&gt;to lay down the rules and enforce them.&lt;/strong&gt; This idea that we have to behave consistently with the rules we apply to the kid is silly. When the kid cusses, make clear that the kid is not allowed to cuss and apply consequences. When the kid protests that Daddy cusses, tell him that he is not Daddy, and when he grows up he can cuss all he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: I am not downplaying the value of modeling good behavior. But the OP is trying and not succeeding. Does this mean he can't teach his kid?  &lt;strong&gt;NO!&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All parents have areas where they want to teach their kid to be &lt;strong&gt;BETTER&lt;/strong&gt; than they are. And the way to do it is to enforce the rules, so that they become habits for the kid, and the kid doesn't fall into the same bad habits as the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2011-09-25T19:39:36.827" LastActivityDate="2011-09-25T19:39:36.827" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3037" CreationDate="2011-09-25T17:39:06.273" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A newborn will start issues (as we've had) with jealousy, and a whole new set of attention seeking behaviour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has her refusal to go to the potty gained her more attention (even negative attention is still attention), and has that actually diverted attention away from the newborn?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so - I'd suggest going with diapers again for a brief time, and not giving her attention for the behaviour. Watch out though - our little one went through a stage of removing her nappies and threatening to wee - an attention seeking tactic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, when she is not playing up, be sure to give her plenty fo attention and reassurance that she is still an important person in your lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1660" LastActivityDate="2011-09-25T17:39:06.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2759" CreationDate="2011-09-25T19:46:32.670" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend's baby cried &quot;excessively&quot; when born. All the nurses said it was normal and wrote them off as just being inexperienced parents. My friends persisted until someone finally took them seriously and found the child had a hernia. Once it was repaired, the baby started crying at &quot;normal&quot; levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long and short, have you spoken to a pediatrician about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-09-25T19:46:32.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2994" CreationDate="2011-09-26T00:48:56.033" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our family is similar- husband Moroccan, I am American, our family language is English and we are raising our 3 and 4 yr old in the US. My husband has exclusively spoken Arabic to the girls since birth (One Person, One Language, OPOL). Depsite this, books and DVDs in Arabic, English dominates b/c they know they can speak in English and be understood. We don't have any Arabic preschools, probably similar to your situation with Hindi. The one I will add to much of the good advice is don't underestimate the power of 3 things:&#xA;1. Playmates in the target language. As your child grows, get a group of kids together who are being raised with Hindi. Having the influence of other Hindi-speaking kids is a huge positive influence.&#xA;2. Extended visits from grandma/grandpa&#xA;3. Trips to India (the only time when our girls have been forced to speak in Arabic is trips to Morocco and although they struggle at first, once they realize no one else understands them, it really helps). Unfortunately, making trips every few months is not a reality but even the yearly/ever other year trip helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1662" LastEditorUserId="4027" LastEditDate="2013-03-10T01:04:53.507" LastActivityDate="2013-03-10T01:04:53.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2759" CreationDate="2011-09-26T05:07:56.733" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've had several hints up there of how to solve it, but i want to make sure to say to trust your instincts, because this is a potentially dangerous situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think for a moment that the crying &quot;doesn't sound right&quot; then do not hesitate to get urgent help or advice. If you've done all the obvious stuff, and even taken some of the advice here to heart, and you're thinking &quot;I dunno, he &lt;em&gt;seems&lt;/em&gt; ok but he sounds... different&quot; then go with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of new parents fear being laughed at by someone that 'knows more about it' . . . You know what? Nobody that's worth their salt or their paycheck is going to laugh at you for taking a baby to the emergency room if you were unsure. If they do laugh at or ridicule you in some way, tell that person to go away and ask for someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-10-04T23:04:00.203" LastActivityDate="2015-10-04T23:04:00.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3036" CreationDate="2011-09-26T07:40:46.863" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The fist step is to confirm that there's nothing medically wrong, so before you do anything else just confirm with your pediatrician that it's a behavior issue that's okay to work on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting there, the next step is a little counter-intuitive.  You need to actually drop the subject of potty training for about a week, and totally take it off her radar.  You can't reintroduce it while it's already present as something she's resistant to, so in order to push the reset button and to take a new approach you first have to stop whatever you've been unsuccessful at trying so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you can do to help urge this along is to let your daughter pick out some big girl undies by herself:  if you can get her to prefer something to the diaper, you're halfway there.  We had initially let our daughter pick out some to be a reward for when she using the potty, but they turned out to be much more effective as an incentive to get started.  Diapers are usually made to wick away the unpleasant sensations causes by going to the bathroom in them, as opposed to wanting to protect your new undies (and immediately being aware that something is amiss when an accident does come up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to imagine going to the bathroom one way your entire life, and then being asked to change that, and you can see the difficulty a child would have grappling with this scenario.  Patience from you, motivation for her, and compassionate correction when accidents happen is really the right path to getting this resolved.  On the positive side, there can be a remarkable turn-around from first using the potty to being fully potty trained both day and night with a child this age--the longer you wait, the shorter it eventually takes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1645" LastActivityDate="2011-09-26T07:40:46.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3037" CreationDate="2011-09-26T15:32:13.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children both had a regressive phase in their potty training. The doctor told me that it was normal. Some children are doing a really good job for a while and then they just decide they don't want to try anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The worst thing that you can do is to put the child back into diapers because it will make the second round of potty training even worse. Pull ups are still fine since you have been doing that, but as hard as it may sound, you will have to figure out a system to continue potty training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need consistency, and they need their parents to show them that. If you have to, take the child to the bathroom every half hour - which is what I did. If you don't have the schedule for it, just make sure that daycare is taking her every half hour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son used to have a holding it in phase too, but that was because he went to daycare and was too shy to go when he was there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she still going to the bathroom though, even if it is in her pants? If she isn't peeing like normal, she could be getting dehydrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she still goes, try a sticker chart. You don't have to buy anything, you could just tape a piece of paper to the door and write the days of the week on it with a time schedule. Next to the times of the day she goes, give her a sticker or a big check mark with a colored Sharpie and congratulate her!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids love attention! Just remember the more good attention she gets for going potty, the more likely she will be to continue on the right path. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-26T15:32:13.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2011-09-26T15:38:45.600" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was afraid of her bowel movements at first. It's odd that they notice a difference between going in a diaper and going on the toilet!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, make sure he is comfortable. Does he have a special seat that you put on the toilet that fits his tiny bottom? Is he going in a different potty or using the big one? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is in a nice comfy seat, just tell him that it's ok to go potty. Have you noticed certain times of the day when he has his bowel movements or even certain faces or gestures he makes that suggests that he is about to go?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you pay attention closely, you can pinpoint what happens to him right before he decides to go and whisk him away to the toilet before it's too late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my daughter, she would start crying and just needed to be consoled. I would rub her back to help her relax and tell her that it was going to be ok. To make it fun, and funny, I would tell her to talk to herself. She would tell her poop to come out of there and she went from crying about it, to laughing and having fun with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stool softeners might help too. Some kids get scared simply because it is too hard for them to get out. My nephew actually held it in so much that he became constipated....all because he didn't want to sit on the toilet and go!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope your situation doesn't get to that point and that something I said can be of some help to you. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-26T15:38:45.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3037" CreationDate="2011-09-26T17:45:13.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a problem with an older one (partially related to a younger child's birth) as far as #2. 3 things that helped the most were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Choices and being somewhat in control. In this specific case, he went on amazon.com with us and CHOSE the toilet seat for himself he liked. VOILA. He LOVED using that seat once it arrived.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Positive reinforcement. Initially, small presents for successful toilet run (coupled of course with praise). Eventually, just praise. As another answer noted, a newborn will suck attention from the older one, so showing the extra attention - especially as reward - is a sure way to progress him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have the newborn &quot;watch&quot; and &quot;learn&quot; how the older one goes. Older kids seem to REALLY like showing younger how to do things (both in general, and as a way of showing off). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2011-09-26T17:45:13.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2011-09-26T17:52:37.570" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;A possible less-than-orthodox answer, provided you did all the standard advice already (e.g. usual behavior modification tricks and avoid hard/constipated stools as another answer mentioned).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;He may have a problem with the water splashing on him when the poop hits the water.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ours had issues with pooping on the toilet, but once they were resolved he started doing it... and then stopped and hated it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a month of trying other things, I asked him if that was the problem. He said &quot;yes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him I can show him how to fix, put a piece of toilet paper on top of the water, demonstrated that a piece of bread would splash when dropped on water bbut not splash when falling on paper. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;BINGO.&lt;/strong&gt; He had no issues from that day. As an extra treat, when he was good he'd be permitted to tear off and put in the paper himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2011-09-26T17:52:37.570" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3031" CreationDate="2011-09-26T18:35:00.847" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, as monsto pointed out, your child being eight means that they have a bit more emotional maturity, and so might be able to understand better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=593&quot;&gt;Rainbowkids&lt;/a&gt; mentions that life for adopted children is often very different from ours here on the &quot;outside.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Life in institutions is often based on submissive/dominance models; therefore, your child at home may seem too aggressive or too passive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The extremely routinized life in institutions does not equip children with skills to handle transitions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Everything - smells, foods, sounds, textures, language, faces - is going to be radically different from what they are used to and recognize. Respect that by going slowly in introducing them to new things (people, places, toys, foods, etc.). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain these things to your child as best you can. Emphasize that their new sibling is joining your family after having lived with other people for a while, and that their old life was very different. Your eight-year-old should be able to appreciate that if they had to suddenly live full-time with, say, their friend's family would be difficult. Give them the opportunity to work it out and have them use their imaginations to put themselves in their new sibling's shoes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adoption.about.com/od/parenting/a/introducechild.htm&quot;&gt;About.com&lt;/a&gt; has a pretty thorough article. Their advice boils down to teaching your child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;To give space.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;To ask (lots of) questions right away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The importance of confidentiality.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The importance of role modeling good behavior.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;About good touch and bad touch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;That you will listen to concerns.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;That you will keep things as fair as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About.com also stresses &lt;em&gt;you following through&lt;/em&gt; with your promises; it's important that you don't sacrifice your positive relationship with your biological child for one with the adopted child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/810852/how-to-introduce-adopted-children-to-biological-children&quot;&gt;Sheknows.com&lt;/a&gt; has a list of tips for helping your current child bond with the new one. I'm presuming that your new child will be younger. The article stresses letting them get to know one another both in supervised and unsupervised environments. I really like the &quot;building traditions&quot; idea that the author suggests; it gives everyone a sense of future-motion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/adoption/afterbio.html&quot;&gt;Berkeley&lt;/a&gt; has a Parents' Network as well as advice about adopted children and introducing them into a home with a pre-established biological child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fairfamilies.org/newsfromfair/1993/93SmrVoicesSiblings.htm&quot;&gt;FairFamilies.org&lt;/a&gt; has an article in their archives about this, as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://foreverparents.com/2007/03/parenting-biological-and-adopted-children.html&quot;&gt;ForeverParents&lt;/a&gt; has an article with tips, as well as &lt;a href=&quot;http://foreverparents.com/2008/04/blending-adoption-and-biological.html&quot;&gt;other parents sharing their stories&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you don't know how your child feels about having a sister or brother around, you do need to start talking about it. Because adoption has so much activity associated with it, it would be hard not to share the process with your child. After all, a social worker comes to your home, there is paperwork to complete, there may possibly be a trip to a foreign country in the planning stages or a visit with people called birthparents, and there is often a period of not knowing whether a new child will or won't be coming to the family. A child will sense that something is going on with this activity surrounding him, so you need to discuss it. The social worker doing your home study will want to know what you are doing to set the stage for welcoming the new child, and if you have thought about the sibling conflicts that could possibly result. The more your child is involved, the more likely he or she will be invested in the outcome. Some good hints specifically about adopting a second time but that apply to any adoption are presented in Sharon Kaplan Roszia's article, &quot;Adopting Again: Talking to the Other Children in the Home.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/23539.page&quot;&gt;This page&lt;/a&gt; features a number of stories and anecdotes from people who adopted after having had a biological child, the adopted children themselves, and others with professional or personal opinions. Obviously, it being a forum, it's less organized than an SE site, but the information is fairly clutter-free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, all of the advice I see is consistent about one thing: be fair to both your adopted child and your established one. As for preparing your biological child, be honest with them and try to give them the information in &quot;bite-size&quot; chunks. Don't condescend; instead, be direct and tell them that they should ask you and your partner/wife/husband/significant other any questions they may have about what's going to happen, what will change, what won't change, and what you need from them. Give children the ability to take some ownership, but also help them be understanding of the new face in the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a last note: my roommate freshman year of college, Desi, had a younger sibling who was adopted. They were obviously very close, and he clearly adores his big sister. While I'm sure there was some initial troubles, their relationship was very strong when I saw them, and she didn't resent her sibling in the least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck with the adoption process; my neighbors adopted and though it was a long, grueling process, they said it was worth it. Their son is a very beautiful, healthy, happy boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-09-27T03:24:45.740" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T03:24:45.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2011-09-27T04:58:36.353" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some children don't want to stop playing and sit on the toilet long enough to get all of the poop out. Also, being a new experience for them, they might not recognize the feeling of having some left inside. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having some entertainment could do the trick. Some books or toys or music (a portable cassette player) could keep your son on the toilet long enough to get the job done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-09-27T11:03:24.150" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T11:03:24.150" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2011-09-27T17:13:31.260" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Potty training is one of the most difficult milestones for children and adults alike. For us, potty training was like a jail sentence; as soon as we realized that our child needed to go, we felt stuck, like we couldn't go out lest we risk an accident in the car seat while driving. For the child (and I am not a psychologist), I can imagine it can be equally challenging and frustrating. For starters, this is a new feeling and process for them. They are dealing with impulses beyond their physical control. They might clinch, become constipated, and then going to the bathroom will hurt. Add on top of that their desire to please their parents on some level, and you have a recipe for all sorts of anxiety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us what has made the most difference is the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;As Samuel L Jackson says, &quot;be cool, man.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; No matter what happens, no matter what the accident is, no matter how big or small, and no matter how many times it happens praise your child for trying. Let them know you are proud of them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Privacy&lt;/strong&gt;. My youngest daughter is learning to train right now, and one thing my wife and I have learned is that privacy makes all the difference. I ask her, &quot;would you like some privacy.&quot; I then step out of the room and periodically checking in to make sure she hasn't fallen in :). I do this because the last thing anyone wants when going potty is for someone else to be hovering. Ug. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Allow them to take their time&lt;/strong&gt;. Another responder suggested books or some other form of distraction. I have been known to let my son play with my iPhone just so that he has time to relax and to let the process unfold. Books also work, naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consider a reward.&lt;/strong&gt; One trick several of our friends spoke very highly of was having a treat jar in the bathroom. They would get a small bucket and then go to Target's $1 bins and fill it up with a bunch of simple distractions. Then whenever their child had a successful excursion to the potty, they would get to pick something from the jar. You can imagine a number of forms of this, from envelopes with special activities written inside of them, like going to the Zoo, or playing a game with Mom, or body paint, or anything special and fun. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Patience.&lt;/strong&gt; Most of all, just be patient. It will happen, but it can only happen at the child's own pace. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last piece of advice - when my son was learning to potty train, there were lots of accidents. To make the process easier on us, we just bought a lot of extra underwear. Rather than trying to save super soiled skivvies, we just tossed them. Yes, it was a little wasteful, but good Lord did it make the process easier!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1665" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T17:13:31.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3054" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3066" CreationDate="2011-09-27T17:34:50.327" Score="12" ViewCount="3035" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only common activity I've found that works well so far is fort building. My 2 year old boy is very active, but my 4 year old daughter loves to have books read to her. However, when I'm alone with them the fort strategy works well. Can you think of other indoor activities that toddlers of multiple age ranges would enjoy doing together?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1304" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T00:35:13.043" Title="What are some fun (no TV or computer) activities that a 2 year old and a 4 year old would enjoy together?" Tags="|activities|play-time|family-activities|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2011-09-27T17:55:39.407" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about puzzles? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 3 yr old loves doing smallish jigsaw puzzles. Whether they work independently on puzzles of differing difficulty or together on a single puzzle its great cognitive exercise and comes with a great sense of accomplishment when they are done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have found some great puzzles available for not very much money, in fact there are some packs of puzzles that come with multiple puzzles of differing difficulty (24,48,63 or 48,63,100 panoramics are a hit at our house) that would probably be great for the 2 yr old on the smaller end and the 4 yr old on the higher piece count end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="761" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T17:55:39.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2011-09-27T18:17:21.660" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know I'm repeating myself here, but LEGO is such an awesome toy. For ages under 5, there's LEGO Duplo which are basically just bigger blocks that can't be swallowed. I'm building stuff with my nearly-2-year-old and it's still fun although I'm 37! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just stacking and creating all kinds of silly constructions. My son will mostly tear them apart but also sometimes add some blocks - which in turn provides an interesting challenge To me for whatever I was trying to build until that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;New LEGO is expensive, but we just have one small bucket of blocks that we got used (cheap!), and it's plenty. In fact I like that there are only blocks and no cars and windows etc because that encourages creativity even more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/vV2Ms.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-28T06:01:17.647" LastActivityDate="2011-09-28T06:01:17.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="197" CreationDate="2011-09-27T20:47:48.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to point to sociological evidence as a scientific equivalent, just as Hannibal related the study of African mothers. When my wife and I were adopting we were exposed to a lot of material about social norms in other countries with respect to child rearing practices. We were shocked to find out that Caucasian American/Canadian and most families of Anglo-Saxon decent are the only families that don't practice some form of co-sleep and &quot;baby carry&quot;. They basically told us that even if the infant did not co-sleep, the family dynamic is such that babies and toddlers almost always sleep in the same room as siblings or parents. This &quot;structure&quot; and bond has a lasting impact on the children in those societies. I don't know the reason why it is so different in the United States, but I suspect there is some merit to this practice in other countries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1304" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T20:47:48.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2011-09-27T21:18:43.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eldest two are two years apart. Things they loved to do together at that age (and even now for some of these):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;trampoline&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sandpit&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lego&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gardening with me (yes, really) - they loved to pull up weeds, with some guidance as to what a weed was&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;building towers of blocks, and then demolishing them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T21:18:43.193" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2975" CreationDate="2011-09-27T23:25:35.973" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000BAURWU&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Powered scissors&lt;/a&gt; work very well. My 10 year old daughter can use them independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1602" LastActivityDate="2011-09-27T23:25:35.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2011-09-28T01:49:53.453" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm keeping an eye on this one, I have a 6 year old and 1.5 year old and I have a hard time doing anything with them where I am involved.  Together they play pretty well, so long as I keep the older one in check, but with me it's pretty much the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;playing ball (tossing a ball like baseball or football with really soft ones for the younger)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;building towers with blocks and watching them get destroyed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;kick ball, but you need two as my younger likes to run off with his&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;slides, you will get a workout lifting one of them probably&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pulling the kids on a blanket, with our wooden floors they have a great time sliding around&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;restaurant, we have kids food and cooking utensils, the youngest LOVES to bang the pans&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope to get some other ideas as well!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-09-28T01:49:53.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3061" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3067" CreationDate="2011-09-28T11:10:33.227" Score="10" ViewCount="4340" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 month old has a breastfeed in the morning then a break and has rice cereal.  Most of the time she will have 2 tablespoons and finish this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I give her a different food at lunch time after the breastfeed.  She doesn't see to be interested.  She has had 1.5 teaspoons of sweet potato and avocado.  She doesn't like fruit and other vegetables.  I try each new food for 3 days as recommended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When can I be offering her a solid food for dinner?&#xA;How much food can you offer a baby at one meal?&#xA;Should I persist for a longer period of time with the one food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the foods I have tried have been cooked and pureed, except banana and avocado.  All the foods have been given as a single food, that is not mixed with another food.  Foods given are sweet potato, broccoli, pumpkin, pear, apple, avocado and carrot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1309" LastActivityDate="2011-09-28T19:46:02.860" Title="When do you start increasing the amount of solids?" Tags="|food|eating|solids|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3061" CreationDate="2011-09-28T13:03:26.647" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was feeding my children baby food, I read in a parenting magazine that it takes 7-10 tries of a food before your child knows whether or not they like it. Some foods they like right away, others you have to keep trying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty sure I tried this out, and my kids were stubborn enough that if they didn't like it the first time, they weren't ever going to like it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think I started solid foods until after age 1, but that's something like an adult would normally eat for dinner. You could always start out with soft breads, mashed potatoes and jello.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the issue with how much to offer.....I would just offer a couple spoonfuls of whatever you decide to give to your baby, just to test the water. If he/she doesn't like it, move on to the next food. Or you can always just put spoonfuls on the baby's plate and have the child eat themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's pretty messy but my kids loved it! They probably ended up getting more on their face than in their mouth, but at least they weren't picky about what they ate when they got to eat it themselves. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-09-28T13:03:26.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="197" CreationDate="2011-09-28T13:57:44.653" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;The short answer to &quot;is there any scientific evidence in favor of co-sleeping?&quot; appears to be &quot;yes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TLDR version:&lt;/strong&gt; There are studies, particularly by Professor James McKenna, that show that there are strong correlations between co-sleeping and improved breast feeding.  These same studies suggest that co-sleeping mothers get at least as much sleep as mothers who sleep apart. However, there is considerable controversy over the impact of co-sleeping on SIDS. There is evidence supporting both the idea that co-sleeping reduces factors associated with SIDS, and that proper co-sleeping practices (there is no doubt that improper co-sleeping practices are associated with strong risks) have possible correlations with an increase in SIDS.  Neither side has any conclusive evidence, though.  &lt;strong&gt;/end TLDR&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of speculative theories, and little in the way of concrete scientific research that I could find.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most notable research seems to be that of Professor of Anthropology &lt;a href=&quot;http://cosleeping.nd.edu/mckenna-biography/&quot;&gt;James McKenna&lt;/a&gt;.  He has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/bedtime_story.html&quot;&gt;conducted research&lt;/a&gt; on mother-infant pairs in a laboratory environment, monitoring their sleeping habits as they slept both apart and together over three consecutive nights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not certain if the &quot;three nights&quot; were were three each of apart and together, or 2 of one and one of the other.  I also cannot find information about the normal sleeping habits of those mother-infant couples, as it would seem that disruptions in their standard sleeping arrangements would bias the results (i.e. mothers who normally co-slept at home would likely show less favorable results when sleeping apart in a laboratory environment, and vice versa).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The concrete portions of the research seem to be summarized here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We found that bed-sharing infants face their mothers for most of the&#xA;  night, and that mother and infant are highly responsive to each&#xA;  other's movements, wake more frequently, and spend more time in&#xA;  lighter stages of sleep than they do while sleeping alone. Bed-sharing&#xA;  infants nurse almost twice as often, and three times as long per bout,&#xA;  as they do when sleeping alone. But they rarely cry. Mothers who&#xA;  routinely sleep with their infants get at least as much sleep as&#xA;  mothers who sleep without them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, Professor McKenna has extended this research with some speculative theories:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In addition to providing more nighttime nourishment and greater&#xA;  protection, sleeping with the mother supplies the infant with a steady&#xA;  stream of sensations of the mother's presence, including touch, smell,&#xA;  movement, and warmth. These stimuli can perhaps even compensate for&#xA;  the human infant's extreme neurological immaturity at birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Co-sleeping might also turn out to give some babies protection from&#xA;  sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), a heartbreaking and enigmatic&#xA;  killer. Co-sleeping infants nurse more often, sleep more lightly, and&#xA;  have practice responding to maternal arousals. Arousal deficiencies&#xA;  are suspected in some SIDS deaths, and long periods in deep sleep may&#xA;  exacerbate this problem. Perhaps the physiological changes induced by&#xA;  co-sleeping, especially when combined with nighttime breastfeeding,&#xA;  can benefit some infants by helping them sleep more lightly. At the&#xA;  same time, co-sleeping makes it easier for a mother to detect and&#xA;  respond to an infant in crisis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes on to emphasize the speculative nature of the comments on SIDS:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The effect of co-sleeping on SIDS remains to be proved, so it would be&#xA;  premature to recommend it as the best arrangement for all families.&#xA;  The possible hazards of co-sleeping must also be assessed. Is the&#xA;  environment otherwise safe, with appropriate bedding materials? Do the&#xA;  parents smoke? Do they use drugs or alcohol? (These appear to be the&#xA;  main factors in those rare cases in which a mother inadvertently&#xA;  smothers her child.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emaxhealth.com/1506/20/34115/new-research-suggests-co-sleeping-much-greater-risk-sids.html&quot;&gt;studies&lt;/a&gt; that show a correlation between co-sleeping and an &lt;em&gt;increase&lt;/em&gt; in the rate of SIDS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;105/3/650&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; doesn't recommend completely against co-sleeping, but rather suggests restrictions and conditions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Infants should not be put to sleep on waterbeds, sofas, soft mattresses, or other soft surfaces. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bed sharing or cosleeping may be hazardous under certain conditions.54113–115 &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As an alternative to bed sharing, parents might consider placing the infant's crib near their bed to allow for more convenient breastfeeding and parent contact. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If a mother chooses to have her infant sleep in her bed to breastfeed, care should be taken to observe the aforementioned recommendations (nonprone sleep position, avoidance of soft surfaces or loose covers, and avoidance of entrapment by moving the bed away from the wall and other furniture and avoiding beds that present entrapment possibilities). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Adults (other than the parents), children, or other siblings should avoid bed sharing with an infant.* &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents who choose to bed share with their infant* should not smoke or use substances, such as alcohol or drugs, that may impair arousal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The AAP also &lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/reprint/pediatrics;116/5/1245.pdf&quot;&gt;cites some studies&lt;/a&gt; that have shown a correlation between co-sleeping and SIDS.  In some cases this correlation appears to be influenced by known factors (maternal smoking, co-sleeping on a sofa instead of a bed, drug or alcohol use by the parents, etc.), but in others seems only linked to the infant's age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;epidemiologic studies of bed sharing have shown that it can be&#xA;  hazardous under certain conditions. Several case series of accidental&#xA;  suffocation or death from undetermined cause suggest that bed sharing&#xA;  is hazardous. 34,37–39 A number of case-control studies of SIDS deaths&#xA;  have investigated the relationship of SIDS with parent(s) and/or other&#xA;  adults or children sleeping with an infant.&#xA;  Some of these studies have found the correlation between death and bed&#xA;  sharing to reach statistical significance only among mothers who&#xA;  smoked. 41,47 However, the European Concerted Action on SIDS study, 42&#xA;  which was a large multisite study, found that bed sharing with mothers&#xA;  who did not smoke was a significant risk factor among infants up to 8&#xA;  weeks of age. Similarly, a more recent study conducted in Scotland48&#xA;  found that the risk of bed sharing was greatest for infants younger&#xA;  than 11 weeks, and this association remained among infants with&#xA;  nonsmoking mothers. The risk of SIDS seems to be particularly high&#xA;  when there are multiple bed sharers 31 and also may be increased when&#xA;  the bed sharer has consumed alcohol or is overtired. 42,47 Also, the&#xA;  risk of SIDS is higher when bed sharing occurs with young infants.&#xA;  40–42 It is extremely hazardous when adults sleep with an infant on a&#xA;  couch. 31,40,41,48 Finally, the risk of bed sharing is higher the&#xA;  longer the duration of bed sharing during the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same paper from the AAP does mention studies that indicate benefits to co-sleeping:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;electrophysiologic and behavioral studies offer a strong case for its&#xA;  effect in facilitating breastfeeding and the enhancement of&#xA;  maternal-infant bonding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The studies referenced in that quote are two of McKenna's: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mosko S, Richard C, McKenna J. Infant arousals during mother-infant&#xA;bed sharing: implications for infant sleep and sudden infant death&#xA;syndrome research. Pediatrics. 1997;100:841– 849&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;McKenna JJ, Mosko SS, Richard CA. Bedsharing promotes breastfeeding. Pediatrics. 1997;100:214 –21&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;McKenna and his associates have issued a &lt;a href=&quot;http://cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/32946/new_knowledge_new_insights_and_new_recommendations_2003.pdf&quot;&gt;rebuttal&lt;/a&gt; to the AAP recommendations, specifically regarding co-sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Most studies have shown no increased risk from infants bedsharing with&#xA;  non-smoking mothers, though the large multicentre European study&#xA;  showed a small risk, and a Scottish study showed a larger risk,&#xA;  particularly for younger infants, though no account was taken of&#xA;  parental alcohol intake. ...  Clearly there are inappropriate&#xA;  circumstances or environments in which co-sleeping occurs, with&#xA;  increased vulnerability of some infants, and these deserve further&#xA;  investigation. Over the last three years we have been investigating&#xA;  all unexpected infant deaths in the southwest of England (population 5&#xA;  million), approximately half of whom were co-sleeping with a parent. &#xA;  The vast majority (&gt;90%) of these co-sleeping deaths occured in an&#xA;  unsafe co-sleeping environment as defined by current UK guidelines ...&#xA;  After thorough death scene and postmortem investigations we have no&#xA;  evidence that the few SIDS deaths that occurred in a relatively safe&#xA;  co-sleeping environment are more than would have happened if the&#xA;  infants had slept alone in cots. ... Changing current guidelines to&#xA;  advise against co-sleeping for this particular group of mothers&#xA;  [non-smoking] would seemingly have little if any effect on the SIDS&#xA;  rates but could deny these mothers and infants any potential&#xA;  advantages in co-sleeping, including accessibility to the breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes on to emphasize some of the potential benefits of co-sleep, and explains the difficulty in providing epidemiological evidence:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[Bedsharing] is accepted as normal human practice by anthropolgists&#xA;  and infant physiologists. Indeed, much research has been conducted&#xA;  into mother-infant interactions, skin-to-skin care (Kangaroo care),&#xA;  arousal patterns, and the architecture of infant sleep.  These studies&#xA;  are often conducted on small selected populations and because of the&#xA;  complex issues involved are more qualitative than quantitative, but&#xA;  are necessary to derive a balanced argument on the potential benefits&#xA;  of bedsharing.  While many studies have shown a positive correlation&#xA;  between bedsharing and breast feeding, the lack of conclusive evidence&#xA;  that bedsharing has a causal role in the establishment and&#xA;  continuation of breast feeding may be a reflection of the lack of&#xA;  appropriate studies rather than the lack of such an effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-09-28T15:25:01.250" LastActivityDate="2011-09-28T15:25:01.250" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2011-09-28T15:31:36.050" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old daughter. Finding something they can play together can be challenging, especially because my 2 year old doesn't have a lot of the fine motor control required for many of the things that my 5 year old takes for granted. Its also important to note, that developmentally a 2 year old will not necessarily play &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; others. Often what will be most fruitful will be to create activities they can do in parallel and activities in which the 5 year can assist (so that you don't have to). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some of the activities I have found that my kids can easily do together:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sand and Water Table&lt;/strong&gt; - My kids have always loved their sand and water table and on a nice day that could play out there for hours. Many of the sand tables I have seen have various contraptions and mini-machines that are put into motion when you pour sand and water in them. Those are great, but do require very, very fine grained sand. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Forts&lt;/strong&gt; - This is an activity that I have to setup for them. But once setup kids can play for a long time, especially if there is enough room in there that they can carve out there own space. For some 2 year olds though it might be asking a lot of them &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to tear it down, so who knows...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Drawing themselves&lt;/strong&gt; - Go to IKEA and buy a roll of their kids coloring butcher paper. Then cut out a long strip, have them lay down and trace outlines of each other. Then have them color it in.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Physical Activity&lt;/strong&gt; - I probably don't need to give a laundry list here, there are so many possibilities. My kids love to race. I have my oldest keep time by counting, and then the other runs a distance. They encourage each other to go faster, and delight in celebrating crossing the finish line. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sidewalk Chalk&lt;/strong&gt; - Hours and hours of fun. Period. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are at a challenging age. I empathize. My 5 y.o. likes to build, but my 2 y.o. literally cannot wait to tear things down -- which is intractably incompatible. My 2 y.o. also wants to do whatever her older brother is doing. Which sounds great, but if he is drawing then she is only content if she is drawing on &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; paper too. So there are not a lot of things they can do collaboratively. The trick is finding something they can do independently, but side by side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found though that left to their own devices, they will surprise me by entertaining themselves. And they will find fun in the simplest of things together. Be it spinning in circle till they fall over, or jumping in a pile of leaves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1665" LastActivityDate="2011-09-28T15:31:36.050" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3061" CreationDate="2011-09-28T19:46:02.860" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(The tl;dr version: keep trying. Take a break, then try again. And if that doesn't work, try again.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_introducing-solid-food_113.bc?showAll=true&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Babycenter&lt;/a&gt; would seem to indicate that you're doing all of this correctly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can introduce solids any time between 4 and 6 months if your baby is ready. Until then, breast milk or formula provides all the calories and nourishment your baby needs and can handle. His digestive system simply isn't ready for solids until he nears his half-birthday. [...] Introduce other solids gradually, one at a time, waiting at least three days after each new food. This way you'll get a heads-up if your baby has an allergic reaction to one of them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, it seems you're doing the right thing! Now, your other questions are a little more detailed. The link I provided you above should address most of your concerns, but the relevant portions I'll quote directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems most children are initially disinterested in solids; chances are you're offering her just the right amount:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby doesn't seem very interested in eating off the spoon, let him smell and taste the food or wait until he warms up to the idea of eating something solid. Don't add cereal to your baby's bottle or he may not make the connection that food is to be eaten sitting up and from a spoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Begin with a once-a-day feeding, whenever it's convenient for you and your baby, but not at a time when your baby seems tired or cranky. &lt;strong&gt;Your baby may not eat much in the beginning, but give him time to get used to the experience.&lt;/strong&gt; Some babies need practice keeping food in their mouths and swallowing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he gets used to his new diet, he'll be ready for a few tablespoons of food a day. If he's eating cereal, gradually thicken the consistency by adding less liquid. As the amount your baby eats increases, add another feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Emphasis mine, above.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Questions about food texture &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2356/how-do-i-transition-a-toddler-to-foods-with-texture&quot;&gt;have been asked before&lt;/a&gt;, but I'll reiterate &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-normal-that-my-baby-doesnt-like-the-texture-of-solids_3652414.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;the advice&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that it is normal for babies to balk the first time — or the first many times — they experience food other than breast milk, formula, or liquidy purees. That's why it's important to keep offering different foods to babies who are developmentally ready — especially healthy ones like vegetables. [...]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Textures take getting used to, just like tastes. &amp;quot;Kids often don't like the texture of avocado but are won over by the taste,&amp;quot; Altmann says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, keep offering your child the solids. It won't be a problem until she's about a year old. If she hasn't transitioned to solids by then, then you ought to consult with your healthcare professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if you're willing to take a &amp;quot;risk,&amp;quot; offer her some, ah, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_adventurous-first-foods-for-babies_10320503.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;more adventurous options&lt;/a&gt; instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sour fruits (cherries, plums)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stewed meat (sometimes even spicy!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cruciferous veggies (cauliflower, turnips)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fish&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whole grains (quinoa, millet)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more information, check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc#articlesection2&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this feeding guide&lt;/a&gt;. Also, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://pregnant.thebump.com/new-mom-new-dad/baby-basics/qa/when-to-start-solid-foods.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;comments to this question&lt;/a&gt; may be enlightening, though you might find &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/55929604/ShowThread.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this thread&lt;/a&gt; more relevant to your experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/feeding-baby/landing.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;What To Expect&lt;/a&gt; has a lot of information about the transition to solids, and they're kind of the go-to source for most &amp;quot;westerners&amp;quot; in my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-09-28T19:46:02.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3068" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3077" CreationDate="2011-09-29T15:45:48.547" Score="5" ViewCount="1674" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are seriously thinking of hiring a nanny, as my wife wishes to hold on to her job in these tough times. I have seen what are called, &quot;nanny-cams&quot;, that help us monitor the nanny at home.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A video on a website, showing nanny mishandling the kids, is enough to instill fear in me to worry about the decision of hiring a nanny.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That apart, I wonder if has anyone tried these surveillance cameras. More questions follow me, a resident of Michigan: Could such a 'hidden-camera' it be termed illegal, and could it lead to lawsuits, etc.? Should the presence of a camera be disclosed to the nanny (employer-employee contract)? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would greatly appreciate any help, information on this topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that my daughter is seven years old, wanted to share. I was not sure if I should answer my own question, so editing it in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did install cameras, and seriously recommend it. I told and showed the nannies the cameras before I hired them. Note that it is legal to record, even without telling the nannies, in all fifty states (as long as it is not private areas like a bathrooms). Though there was no abuse, I caught a few things: neglecting my daughter while they talked on phone, putting her in a pen and watching TV, handling her food in unhygienic ways, etc., It helps a great deal to know, and hence fix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1046" LastEditorUserId="1046" LastEditDate="2018-11-16T19:20:31.303" LastActivityDate="2018-11-16T19:20:31.303" Title="What are the pros and cons of using a nanny-cam?" Tags="|infant|safety|babysitting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3068" CreationDate="2011-09-29T16:54:04.443" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem we have with our baby monitor camera is coverage, even placed in the corner of the room and way up to get a good vantage of the room, you'd have to have 3 or 4 of the darn things to actually cover every place in the room where something bad could happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, I think a lot of it comes down to trust. A friend of mine used to be a nanny, she says the BEST relationships she had with the parents, were the ones that didn't hire her so that her first day with the kids was their first day back to work. The ones that had her start a couple weeks early and watched the kids while they cleaned house, or did laundry, or worked out, or even just went in their bedroom and read a book, always turned out to be the best long term parent/nanny relationship. That gave the parents a lot of time to monitor in person the nanny interacting with their kids, to see how she handled their worst case tantrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a co-worker that has non-hidden cameras in all his kids bedrooms (the small dome kind that are about the size of a smoke detector) and playroom and common spaces. Other than catching the nanny badmouth him in spanish (thinking he doesn't speak it) the best use for it so far is his toddler saying &quot;I know you're watching daddy, I'm not tired, can we play mario cart?&quot; over and over and over until he fell asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-09-29T18:03:41.387" LastActivityDate="2011-09-29T18:03:41.387" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3070" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3074" CreationDate="2011-09-29T17:29:57.780" Score="16" ViewCount="2479" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a student parent and find that coffee helps me study. I drank coffee while pregnant and kept it well under the daily allowed amount. I am unsure what I can have while breastfeeding though. How much caffeine comes through breastmilk and is it unsafe for infants?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-29T18:05:15.737" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T23:32:41.277" Title="Are trace amounts of caffeine through breastmilk safe for babies?" Tags="|infant|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2011-09-29T18:15:09.527" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Byrne Reese has a great answer, I just want to add a couple points to it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the privacy vs safety point: instead of leaving the room, we just sit on the edge of the bathtub about 4 or 5 feet away and read, do email on our phone, work on a crossword... anything but hover over them, watch them, etc. Several times when he refused to put the seat adapter on and subsequently fell in when he let go of the seat this has meant a fraction of a second stuck in the toilet seat instead of however long it takes to realize and rescue from outside the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the reward/fun topic from a couple other answers: My son noticed the nifty &quot;plop&quot; sound it makes when he goes poop in the big potty (instead of his little kids potty/chamber pot). That in and of itself has become a great motivator, when he says he's all done (and hasn't done anything) I just ask &quot;how many plops did you make?&quot; and he hops back up and finishes the job. We've also been counting up twoard a big reward... a week without any accidents and he gets to goto chucky-cheese. (Kids themed pizza place with a bunch of games.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-09-29T18:15:09.527" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3068" CreationDate="2011-09-29T18:26:58.370" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think a nanny cam is worthless, for technical as well as social/legal reasons. In a sentence, &lt;strong&gt;it cannot replace trust.&lt;/strong&gt; Let me first answer your questions, then provide some thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The video on the main page is enough to instill fear in me&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the video you link to is made explicitly to put the force of fear in you, with &quot;you&quot; being a potential customer, and &quot;customer&quot; meaning profit for the shareholders.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;--&gt; This is not about the safety of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Could it be termed illegal? Should the presence of a camera be disclosed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, in some places it certainly is illegal, and in some places you must disclose the fact in advance.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;--&gt; Check your local laws.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Surveillance cannot replace trust&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you trust the nanny so little that surveillance is necessary, then you should question your choice of nanny. Of course it can be very difficult to find someone to put that much trust into, and even if there's trust, it's no guarantee against bad events -- accidental or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Technological limitations make the whole exercise questionable&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Bad events might take place inside the camera's viewing angle, or off-camera. Because one camera cannot cover the entire home, you'd need several just to cover the most obvious places. This seems impractical and expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Legal matters&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In many places in the world, video surveillance is only allowed (legal) when the observed people are informed in advance. If you do inform the nanny, she might deliberately move off-camera. If you illegally monitor but don't inform, then using that evidence might get you more trouble than it's worth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reaction time&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Monitoring provides no protection by itself, it merely tells a story after the fact. If you're watching an event happen, what can you do? You can't assist directly. Sometimes calling your home phone (or even emergency services) might be helpful but lacking any statistics I suspect that case to be very rare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was going to write that the only situation in which I think a nanny cam might be useful is when using it as a video baby monitor -- say, when you're sitting downstairs while the baby is supposed to be sleeping upstairs. Having a (night-vision) cam would save you the trip of going upstairs to check. But that's a video baby monitor, not a nanny cam, and if it's that difficult to reach your baby then you might consider being closer to it in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-09-29T18:56:12.860" LastActivityDate="2011-09-29T18:56:12.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3070" CreationDate="2011-09-29T19:38:08.237" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;In most cases, drinking less than 300mg of caffeine a day will not affect your baby.  Even if your child is extra sensitive to caffeine, the effects aren't serious, and they will go away if you eliminate caffeine from your diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborns tend to be more sensitive to caffeine than older babies.  They can't break it down very quickly, so it can build up in their system.  For children over 6 months (as well as for adults), the half-life of caffeine is about 4-7 hours.   However, for a newborn, the half-life is anywhere between 65-130 hours.  Thankfully for those of us with caffeine habits, babies quickly develop the ability to process caffeine (by 3 months, the half-life is reduced to 14 hours).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you notice your baby become irritable, or agitated, or if he is having sleeping problems, you can cut caffeine out of your diet for a few days to see if that solves the problem.  If you do have to stop drinking coffee, you should be able to re-introduce it after a couple of months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;==Edit==&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a couple studies done on caffeine and breastfeeding (I found them both through the National Library of Medicine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6691042&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; says that for smaller doses of caffeine (from about 30 to 300mg), the infant will ingest between .06% and 1.5% of the maternal dose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/4075934&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; had 11 breastfeeding mothers drink 500mg of caffeine a day for 5 days.  They monitored the heart rate and sleep patterns of the infants, and found no measurable effect from that dose of caffeine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-10-03T23:32:41.277" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T23:32:41.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1897" CreationDate="2011-09-30T02:22:23.330" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the best ways would be to not allow her to use her native language crutch at home (If you can help it).  Don't acknowledge requests in her native tongue.  Only deal with her requests in English.  Only speak English to her.   Of course if the household is primary non-English speakers this would be hard to make happen.  It doesn't matter if her requests are in poor English or not, just getting her out of that comfort zone will allow learning to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take away non-English TV.  Get her to hang out with Native speakers.  When all her friends speak English she will pick it up quickly.  Being able to withdraw into the cushion of familiar makes it hard to put the effort into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know when I have traveled to foreign countries, I picked up the tongue pretty quickly by not doing anything in English.  I don't go in and try to see if they speak English, I force myself to look it up, and then have to get by with my crappy French, or German, or Russian, and gestures.  If &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1543" LastActivityDate="2011-09-30T02:22:23.330" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2011-09-30T07:55:20.903" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of childrens cookbooks out there with simple recipes that anyone can enjoy. Even if you're not into that, something you might do regularly (like monthly or maaaybe weekly) is tube-dough cookies with your own frosting or toppings. A nice little treat for their alone time with daddy. Pizza can also be done this way . . . Generic frozen cheese especiale (or whatever) and add your own toppings. They'll love flopping pepperonis on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then there's Highlights magazine. Always a winner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest just make some crap up. My wife told me the story of how one day her mom decided that they were going to go on an Alpine Adventure. They went to Sears and tried on coats, went to a sporting goods store and hung out near the ski display while the sales guy talked about all the places he's skied and they asked questions. they did a couple other things and capped it off with dairy queen. Along this line, you could do say a 'camping adventure' which winds up being little more than a glorified picnic in the yard. Doesn't really work indoors, but there's nothing to stop you from making up your own indoor games... you can do a lot with paper, markers (dry erase around the kiddies isn't so bad), playing cards &quot;if you draw a mans face you have to fly like an airplane to the stairs and draw a smiley face on your page!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So after going thru all the specifics, i think my point is that you can be as creative as you want to be. It's less important &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; you do, so long as you're doing it hand in hand with them, spending time with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2011-09-30T07:55:20.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3068" CreationDate="2011-09-30T14:21:40.303" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, a disclaimer: IANAL. The legal issues will vary widely based on the jurisdiction where the equipment is installed. Check your local laws.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, we never used a nanny. My wife worked for the first 3 years, but we used home-based day care providers who we found through referrals.  If I were to hire a nanny today, I would &lt;strong&gt;absolutely&lt;/strong&gt; put a video system in the home. I would also make clear to the nanny that Mom and Dad are watching. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To specifically answer the question ... below is my (non-exhaustive) list of pros and cons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pros&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Peace of Mind&lt;/em&gt; - This is really the point, isn't it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Legal Evidence&lt;/em&gt; - If you need to call the authorities or even just fire the nanny, you will have evidence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Information&lt;/em&gt; - The video will have useful information about sleep habits, patterns, etc., that can't otherwise be obtained. Why won't your kid go to sleep easily?  Perhaps the nanny is forcing a long nap in the afternoon to watch soap operas.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Milestones&lt;/em&gt; - The chances are that your kid's first crawl, first step, and most other first will happen with the Nanny.  At least you'll be able to see it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cons&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Limitations and Expense&lt;/em&gt; -  IMHO neither of these is really an issue today. Video equipment is cheap, and can work on your home wireless network. Complete systems can be purchased at reasonable costs. It does take some thought and planning, but isn't hard.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Time to review/monitor&lt;/em&gt; - It's pointless if you don't look, and it takes a while to watch 10 hours of video, even at fast-forward speed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;May become a crutch&lt;/em&gt; - I can see the video becoming a rationalization for not paying enough attention, supervising, etc.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other Notes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The video on the main page, showing nanny mishandling the kids, is enough to instill fear in me&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, that's the point isn't it.  The web site is trying to sell nanny cams!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Surveillance can't replace trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No kidding. But trust is hard to come by, and any trust you may feel from a short interview is shallow and misplaced anyway. We are talking about our kids here. If putting in video will help smooth &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; transition to trusting, it is probably a good investment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To quote my favorite president, &quot;Trust but verify.&quot;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="4155" LastEditDate="2016-03-13T05:18:37.027" LastActivityDate="2016-03-13T05:18:37.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3070" CreationDate="2011-09-30T14:37:17.530" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two contrary thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1/ Provided your caffeine intake is moderate, I am sure it isn't a problem. We have been drinking coffee and tea for generations. If you haven't started your homework coffee yet, then pay attention when you start. If there are noticeable changes that don't abate in a day or so, stop the coffee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2/ If you aren't sure, if it a concern despite generations of evidence to the contrary, or if your baby demonstrates an unusual reaction, don't drink coffee. Your homework coffee isn't heart or blood pressure medication. It is essentially a luxury; figure something else out. Have an apple instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see no reason not to give it a try. You won't do any permanent or serious harm. I expect no impact, but there is a small chance of a disruption of sleep patterns. This will make life miserable for a few days, but lots of things do that when you have an infant in your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would avoid the &quot;energy drinks&quot; that are popular today.  They worry me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-30T14:37:17.530" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="341" CreationDate="2011-09-30T16:04:20.153" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The pragmatic answer is ... if the child gets a sunburn, there was too much sun. How much sun is highly variable between people; the only real way to know is to get out in the sun and watch the kid.  Start slow, perhaps 15 minutes increments, and pay attention. You will know soon enough. Be prepared with long sleeve clothing, shade, sunscreen and water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: the question does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; address exposure to heat, which is a different but related question. When a child is outdoors or exposed to direct sunlight for non-trivial amounts of time, supervisors need to pay attention for symptoms of heat-related ailments. Sunscreen, hats and long sleeves can prevent sunburn, but the kid might get heat stroke or dehydration!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-09-30T16:04:20.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2385" CreationDate="2011-09-30T21:10:16.840" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pediatricians usually give us a volume per day rather than a fixed schedule.  Ask 10 different parents about the right schedule and you'll get 10 different answers.  Find whatever works for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you don't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to wait for your baby to cry before feeding him.  Just like you, he is probably hungry enough to eat 30-60 minutes before he's hungry enough to cry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-09-30T21:10:16.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3082" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3096" CreationDate="2011-10-01T12:24:47.993" Score="-2" ViewCount="3231" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11/how-do-you-decide-if-a-movie-is-suitable-for-young-children&quot;&gt;How do you decide if a movie is suitable for young children?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And knowing that different children will react differently, what factors would make an difference to the age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="899" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T12:18:04.733" Title="When should a child see Star Wars: A New Hope" Tags="|age-appropriate|television|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ClosedDate="2011-10-03T13:24:55.250" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3083" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3084" CreationDate="2011-10-01T13:40:12.347" Score="9" ViewCount="5994" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is turning 3 this December, she goes to pre-school with other kids who speak totally different languages. We're from a remote part of India, thus she shares her mother-tongue with no one else at school (including the teachers and care-takers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do speak English but it is not all the time - more because we want her to know our language, while picking up English and not totally enforcing English altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, she does communicate with us, talks to us and with her teachers and peers. However, I've noticed that she is totally missing the letter &quot;r&quot; either in English words or our own language (Manipuri). Anything with an &quot;r&quot; is skipped or replaced by something like &quot;l&quot;. So, &quot;Dress&quot; is like &quot;Dless&quot;, &quot;Bread&quot; is &quot;bled&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be concerned?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1677" LastEditorUserId="1483" LastEditDate="2011-10-03T18:20:57.697" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T18:20:57.697" Title="Should I be concerned that my 3 year old is not able to pronounce an 'r' sound?" Tags="|pre-schooler|language|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3083" CreationDate="2011-10-01T14:55:14.027" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;The /r/ sound is quite complex to produce and requires refined oral motor skills. It is often one of the last developing sounds in children. As a speech language pathologist, I work with many children who have difficulty with this sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because it's a later developing sound, using another sound such as the /l/ for it at 3 years of age is considered appropriate. The examples you gave are of /r/ blends which is even more difficult than an /r/ as a single consonant at the beginning, middle or end of a word. Can she say (er) clearly when imitating a crowing chicken, squeaky door, or siren? Or, does she use the /r/ correctly in any words? If so, she is well on track for her age. Her /r/ will likely continue to develop appropriately. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, here are activities that you can do at this age that can support the development of the /r/ sound. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Straw drinking from the very tip of a straw (1/4 inch). This builds lip and tongue strength needed for the sound. Gradually build up to sucking only from the tip of the straw by using hard plastic straws with figures on them or placing bumpers designed for this use. Each week (or when the child is easily drinking from the adapted length without difficulty), clip another 1/4 inch off until only 1/4 remains. Here is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.talktools.com/s.nl/it.A/id.911/.f?sc=23&amp;amp;category=4508&amp;amp;gclid=CJfx3pzcx6sCFYrs7QodRQFQ6Q&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; for the full straw treatment program that I use that is very effective.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sucking the tongue against the roof of the mouth and quickly popping it free as the jaw is fully lowered is a great exercise for building tongue strength for the /r/ sound. This movement is very similar to clucking to a horse and children enjoy making the popping sound in this activity. Increase the number of repetitions as the child's skill increases. You may begin with only 2-3 and move to hundreds of times playfully during the day. Remember to drop the jaw as fully as possible and keep the tongue fully behind/inside the upper teeth when sucking it to the palate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the lips are protruded, the tongue reflexively retracts approximating the position needed for the /r/ sound. Practice curling the lips out in a mirror in play. Young children enjoy making a 'fish face' by protruding the lips and tightening or sucking in their cheeks. I sometimes teach older children to balance a pencil on their upper lip with no hands.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Practice the (er) sound by 'crowing' or imitating a squeaky door, or a siren. As the tongue strength develops, this is the easiest way to make the /r/ sound without having to move quickly to connecting sounds which is a harder task. After she has a very clear (er) begin emphasizing and encouraging its use at the ending and then beginning of words. The middle of words is often harder and will follow the final and initial positions. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Blends are often the last to emerge. They are sometimes easier using the /gr/ combination. Making the /g/ sound elevates the tongue in the back of the mouth near where the /r/ sound is produced so the /g/ naturally complements the /r/.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A speech language pathologist can help your child if she has not developed the /r/ sound by the time she reaches school age or if you continue to be concerned about her sound development.&#xA;If /r/ is her only problem at this age, I suspect that she may continue to develop the sound without significant intervention. The use of straws, tongue pops, and practicing the sound in isolation are fun activities that you can do easily that will support her development. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-10-01T22:16:59.587" LastActivityDate="2011-10-01T22:16:59.587" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3085" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3087" CreationDate="2011-10-01T15:56:44.967" Score="8" ViewCount="7008" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.8newsnow.com/story/2221106/hot-saucing-of-kids-draws-criticism&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Hot saucing&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, a technique where a small quantity of hot sauce is introduced a kid's mouth as disciplinary action, is considered bad parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though I have not done hot saucing (possibly because my nine year old loves spicy food) I have used a similar technique as a form of control. Call me a prude, or over the hill, but the first time my son swore (he was four then), I washed his tongue with soap. Done once, it has been effective so far. He associates bad words to disgusting taste in his mouth. I think it works a subconscious level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else tried similar ideas? Were they effective? I understand that one technique cannot solve all problems, but what are the major pitfalls of such techniques?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1095" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-10T07:56:22.730" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T07:56:22.730" Title="Is &quot;hot saucing&quot; bad parenting?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3086" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-01T16:21:13.827" Score="10" ViewCount="9077" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-week-old has recently started to refuse to nurse from the breast. She will only eat from the bottle (pumped breastmilk). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has successfully breastfed since birth, she also uses the bottle rarely, just on the occasions when her mother is away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The breast is not too full for her to latch on. She drinks the milk perfectly fine from a heated bottle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we try to put her to the breast, she moves her head away and cries and won't latch on at all. But then, she will accept breastmilk from the bottle with no problem at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can the problem be? And how do we get her to nurse from the breast again when she refuses?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1167" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-05T15:12:41.013" LastActivityDate="2019-09-05T15:12:41.013" Title="Why would my 9-week-old refuse to nurse from breast?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|crying|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3085" CreationDate="2011-10-01T16:51:00.307" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;I consider washing the mouth out with soap to be cruel. A four year old doesn't understand why you are putting soap in their mouth. I can tell you that it is not at all effective, as I was a child who received this particular punishment. Instead of teaching me to not do a certain behavior, it taught me to fear getting in trouble. I learned to be somewhat sneaky as a child and hid what I was doing. It just doesn't work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: Where did your son learn to swear? If you're punishing him for something he learned from you, that seems even more twisted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-10-01T16:51:00.307" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3086" CreationDate="2011-10-01T16:56:29.207" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some nipples require less effort than nursing from the breast. Milk flows from some just by holding them upside down. In this case, the child only has to stop the flow by covering the opening with the tongue to rest or to swallow. Some children prefer this pattern to the sucking necessary for the breast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the strength for later eating and speech is developed during the feeding process. As a speech language pathologist that works with children with feeding and speech  problems, I would encourage careful selection of nipples and pacifiers. These devices should be carefully chosen to promote oral motor strength within the child's functional abilities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Avent Naturally Feeding Bottle is available in a variety of flow rates. It is an excellent nipple for oral motor development. It often works well for breastfed babies and they have soft spout cups that work well for transitioning to cup drinking later. I'm not sure what flow rate nipple you are presently using, but you might try going to a slower flow rate if possible to make your baby work harder since the hypothesis is that bottle feeding is easier than the breast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might research different nipples and find one that more closely matches the breast. You might try the Evenflo Classic Sensitive Response (silicone). This nipple works the cheeks and lips and is not for a baby with weak musculature. It does flow during pauses in sucking however. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I encourage parents to compare nipples and pacifiers by trying them. With careful experimentation, you can identify the subtle differences in effort, pattern, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, she may rebel against another nipple at first, but it may be worth the aggravation of changing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-10-16T23:21:39.183" LastActivityDate="2011-10-16T23:21:39.183" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3014" CreationDate="2011-10-01T18:16:18.903" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This post is advocating make-up as a tool/instrument for artistic and self-expression given situational context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is important to set boundaries about what is appropriate and what is not. Answering the question: &quot;what are you trying to say&quot; with the way you are presenting yourself can help start conversations about what kind of make-up is appropriate for the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids can learn about colour, highlighting, lowlighting, outlining to draw attention to or away from something of interest through the use of make-up. There is also the opportunity to &quot;try-on&quot; different personas. I remember being introduced to make-up as part of a school play and wishing I could look like that all the time. However, make-up appropriate for the chorus in Pirates of Penzance (tarts) is not appropriate for school, which I teach my children is the equivalent of the workplace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They can also learn that it takes time. If you want to wear make-up to school, all the other preparations need to be done first. Repairing works of facial art can be aggravating. What happens after swimming lessons or sports? This might encourage them to be better time managers and also to prioritize function over form.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I encourage all ages of my Girl Guides to experiment with make-up because it helps them practice their hand-eye coordination and explore different aspects of their self-identity. They are also much more forgiving when they make mistakes on themselves than when I do (i.e., &quot;A butterfly doesn't look like that!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in short, it's worthwhile to ask &quot;what is the purpose of the make-up?&quot; and encourage context appropriate use. By encouraging appropriate use, it gives parents/care givers the opportunity to comment and give feedback on their choice rather than support secretive, uncensored behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-10-01T18:22:56.887" LastActivityDate="2011-10-01T18:22:56.887" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3086" CreationDate="2011-10-01T19:23:11.733" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think, it is much easier to drink from a normal baby bottle as to suck from the breast, so  refusing the breast and preferring a bottle could just be more &quot;convenient&quot; for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see that our situation was different, as &lt;em&gt;our&lt;/em&gt; baby did not know at the beginning how to effectively drink at the breast (nipple confusion) while &lt;em&gt;yours&lt;/em&gt; already knew it and someday seemed to refuse to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were recommended by a speech therapist (which also helped the baby learning to use its muscles for sucking by kind of a massage in the mouth and on the face) to use the &lt;strong&gt;playtex bottles&lt;/strong&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.playtexbaby.com/Bottles/Dropins&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.playtexbaby.com/Bottles/Dropins&lt;/a&gt;) which have a single use plastic bag containing the milk and are supposed to be as &quot;difficult&quot; to suck at as the human breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm &lt;strong&gt;not sure&lt;/strong&gt; if they are also suited for your case or only for learning to suck at a breast, but at least they could be an alternative to the &quot;standard&quot; bottles which are mostly used and which make sucking much easier for the baby compared to breastfeeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For &lt;strong&gt;our experience with nipple confusion&lt;/strong&gt; (most probably caused by very early bottle feeding during the first days) see my answer here:&#xA; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1021/can-pacifier-use-interfere-with-breastfeeding/2866#2866&quot;&gt;Can pacifier-use interfere with breastfeeding?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-10-02T19:24:49.957" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3085" CreationDate="2011-10-01T22:21:45.057" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a form of physical discipline akin to spanking, which is only appropriate after escalating beyond normal, non-physical discipline -- and even then only in &lt;em&gt;strict&lt;/em&gt; moderation and only when the child is young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See my answer, with research citations, at &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/399/is-punishment-necessary/413#413&quot;&gt;Is punishment necessary?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As children grow older, physical discipline becomes less developmentally appropriate. However, when parents' use of physical discipline continues through childhood, by the time their children are teens, they're more likely to have behavior problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A smack is one thing, but I would argue that putting hot sauce in a child's mouth is tending  towards the cruel and unusual side of punishments. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/539417-how-does-hot-sauce-affect-toddlers/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.livestrong.com/article/539417-how-does-hot-sauce-affect-toddlers/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Some parents use hot sauce as a form of discipline, but most child safety and psychology experts consider this a dangerous form of abuse. Psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff advises that physical punishment has severe negative effects on children and is largely ineffective. Pediatrician William Sears advises using a combination of natural consequences, time-outs and reward-based methods instead. Toddlers are developmentally unable to understand concepts like right and wrong, and don't typically understand punishments, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-10-01T22:21:45.057" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3082" CreationDate="2011-10-01T22:43:14.427" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can we know how your child will react? You know your child best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think they'd a) understand it? b) get unduly upset by any scenes in it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the answers are &quot;yes&quot; and &quot;no&quot; then let them watch it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the answers are &quot;no&quot; and &quot;no&quot; still let them watch it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How have they reacted to similar films? It is a fairy story - brave would be knight goes on a quest to rescue the princess. Has to fight dragons and evil magicians.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good triumphs over evil.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1681" LastActivityDate="2011-10-01T22:43:14.427" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2011-10-02T06:11:01.993" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mom counted.  My brothers and I took it as permission to continue the undesired behavior until the next to last number.  The same thing is true with repeated warnings for bad behavior. The child gets conditioned that Mom doesn't mean it the first few times she says it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it &quot;1 2 3 Magic&quot; is an improvement for some parents because it forces them to issue the command and then shut up and let the child respond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you speak, the child should comply promptly. Rather than counting, just wait an appropriate amount of time ... long enough for your command to be processed, a second or so ... then if the child hasn't complied apply punishment.  For things that the kid knows from previous discipline are not accepted, go straight to punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-02T06:11:01.993" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3082" CreationDate="2011-10-02T16:24:17.683" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When they are able to sit through it and comprehend the story. For most kids that might be 6 or 8. I don't think there is anything inappropriate for children above 6. The violence is &quot;stylized&quot;, and the themes are simple and compelling. I think the same for Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The prequels, however, I would avoid until 10 or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also love the VW commercial ... &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-02T16:24:17.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3082" CreationDate="2011-10-02T17:10:56.513" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general i agree with certain things in the other posts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;6-8 age range&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;simple movie themes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you are the parent, it's up to you to decide.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one thing I want to add that nobody has touched on: don't jam it down their throat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My boys (now 20, 18, 8) all loved the original trilogy. My girls (10, 6) are aware of the universe (what middle class kid wouldn't be) while also being uninterested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point: One of the options available is not showing it to them at all. It's entirely possible that they're just not into space adventures. Maybe they'll like Twilight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2011-10-02T17:10:56.513" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3098" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3112" CreationDate="2011-10-02T20:17:40.823" Score="24" ViewCount="197816" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2yo son slept in a sleeping bag (see image below) until around 1½ years old, then he didn't like that anymore so we switched to using a blanket. He moves around so much while sleeping that the blanket usually isn't covering him at all. This hasn't been a problem so far during summer, but now the cold season is coming and we think he'll get too cold at night. He's already rather cold in the mornings -- with cold hands and cold feet -- so the current mode of operation won't do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're not tucking him in &quot;English style&quot; with the blanket going under the mattress, but average &quot;European style&quot; where it's just draped over him. He's very active and dislikes being restrained, so &quot;English style&quot; is not an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've learned to stay underneath my blanket during sleep, but I have no recollection how I learned it -- can we somehow &quot;teach&quot; him, or does it only come naturally with age? &lt;strong&gt;How can we keep him under the blanket?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we're already trying:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We are re-covering him several times during the evening until we go to bed ourselves, and sometimes again during the night if we're up for any reason. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We are dressing him in warmer pajamas and socks to keep him from getting cold at night, but we can't comfortably dress him warm enough in winter. If we dress him warmly (so that he wouldn't become too cold without the blanket) then the blanket makes him too warm and he wakes in a sweat, so we avoid that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We are trying to find a sleeping bag that fits his current size (92cm) but seem to be rare in these sizes; apparently they're only popular for infants but not so for toddlers. Even if we find one, there's a risk that he'll reject it, just like he ended up doing half a year ago.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SEW93.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;example of a sleeping bag&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-10-03T06:47:19.577" LastActivityDate="2019-01-04T04:15:54.673" Title="How can my toddler learn to stay under the blanket at night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2011-10-02T21:38:34.520" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The cold will likely teach him quickly. If there's no negative to wriggling, what will stop him? I'd consider dressing him less warmly and seeing if that helps. Maybe he's too warm at night with warm pajamas and a blanket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, obviously don't freeze him; start slightly less warmly and work your way down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2011-10-02T21:38:34.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2011-10-02T21:44:46.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar issue. We don't use blankets but duvets and the way we tried to manage this was to buy some braces clips and elastic from a haberdashers and improvise some makeshift ways to hold the duvets in place without having to tuck them in too firmly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say whether you little one wakes you up if the cold bites. If it's any consolation our children still manage to unravel themselves from their bedclothes and if they get cold they probably wake up and tuck themselves back in again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="523" LastActivityDate="2011-10-02T21:44:46.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2390" CreationDate="2011-10-03T08:38:12.680" Score="1" Body="&lt;h1&gt;GOOSEBERRY PIE&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The object of this game is to get the right answer by asking the wrong questions. This may sound daft, but after a few practice rounds you should get the hang of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One player thinks of an item (keep it simple at first). The others then ask him questions to try and find out what it is. The questions shouldn't be simple ones about 'Is it a so-and-so?'. They should be general queries about anything under the sun. In fact the more disconnected they are, the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is the person giving the answers who has the hardest job. He is not allowed to give a simple &lt;em&gt;Yes&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;No&lt;/em&gt;. Every one of his replies must mention the secret item, but to disguise it he calls it a &lt;em&gt;gooseberry pie&lt;/em&gt; instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a few examples to get you started. Let's say the secret item is an apple. The questioners might ask &lt;em&gt;Are you hungry?&lt;/em&gt;, to which the reply is &lt;em&gt;No, I've got a gooseberry pie in my pocket&lt;/em&gt;. The next question is &lt;em&gt;Have you been to the doctor lately?&lt;/em&gt;, to which the reply is &lt;em&gt;No, I eat a gooseberry pie every day&lt;/em&gt;. And so on. The game requires a sense of humour on both sides to keep it going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T08:38:12.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2011-10-03T09:03:38.983" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use both the sleeping bag and a blanket for our 1 year old. That makes him used to having the blanket, so when we stop using the sleeping bag, it will be less of a change for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has worked quite well with our first kid, which is 4 years now. We sometimes have the problem with him kicking off the blanket, but that is only when it is extra warm, so he gets too warm with the blanket on. Then we tries to find a thinner blanket, or just a sheet he can use instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T09:03:38.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3082" CreationDate="2011-10-03T12:18:04.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;IMDB lists the age certifications a movie has received in many countries. This can act as a good guidance about movies you haven't seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the ones for Star Wars:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Iceland:L (special edition) / Iceland:LH (original version) (video re-rating) / Malaysia:U / Canada:G (British Columbia/Quebec) / South Korea:All / Brazil:Livre / South Africa:PG / Netherlands:12 (DVD rating) / Italy:T / Argentina:Atp / Australia:PG / Canada:PG (Manitoba/Ontario) / Canada:PG (Nova Scotia) (special edition) / Chile:TE / Denmark:11 (special edition) / Denmark:12 / Finland:K-12 (original rating) / Finland:K-8 (special edition) / France:U / Germany:6 (special edition) / Hong Kong:I / Iceland:L (original rating) / Ireland:G / Mexico:AA / Netherlands:AL / New Zealand:PG / Norway:11 (special edition) / Norway:12 / Peru:PT / Portugal:M/12 / Singapore:PG (special edition) / Spain:T / Sweden:11 / UK:U / USA:PG (certificate #24925) / West Germany:12 (original rating) / Canada:A (Nova Scotia) (original rating)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076759/parentalguide#certification&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076759/parentalguide#certification&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T12:18:04.733" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2011-10-03T17:30:17.727" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;Until she was 5, my daughter would sleep on top of her blanket with her pillow on her feet. She knew about sleeping under the blankets (having seen us doing it), but just wasn't interested. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dress them warmly and let them figure it out on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1488" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T17:30:17.727" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2390" CreationDate="2011-10-03T18:16:26.983" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Traditional games are great, they keep things simple. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, i do things that exploit my kids talents. 2 of them like to sing. In a former life,  i was a musician and sometimes wannabe dj. So we'll make up goofy funny words to whatever song is playing. Eventually it goes so far that we need to turn the radio/cd OFF and just holler our own words and music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the grander point is &quot;be aware of their attention span.&quot; sometimes when we sit down to play a bored game (yes bored), they tend to drraaaaag on. Uno is ok, but it can get out of hand. Sorry, etc, can do the same thing. So realistically, clamped into a car for a 6 hr drive, you should think ahead of time about lots of 20-minute activities. Be prepared to start something up if things start to get bad . . . 20 of I Spy, 20 of talking about those cows over there having a cocktail party, 20 of laughing about the horse trailer with the poop on the back door, 20 doing any of the activities mentioned here. And then 20 in the drivethru at McNasties and 20 eating (followed by 20 wretching). Hopefully, somewhere in there, you can string together several uninterrupted 20s of quiet driving while the kids read or color or what have you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And please. . . don't be too concerned about &quot;making time.&quot; That can turn any trip into an absolutely hateful experience for the kids. &lt;em&gt;Really... It's &lt;strong&gt;ok&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;... to take your McNasties to that city park over there and spend 30-45 minutes eating and chilling off some pent-up energies (this works for teens too)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-10-03T18:29:20.383" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T18:29:20.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2011-10-03T19:37:04.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.halosleep.com/products/results/?product_category_id=10&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Halo&lt;/a&gt; sleep sacks come in sizes all the way to 5T if you are looking for large enough sleeping bags. I like the fact that these have holes for their feet in case they get out of bed at night. &#xA;I do think that children will naturally learn that if they are cold, pull the blanket back up, but perhaps that comes a little later. I really believe in natural consequences within reason, of course and the natural consequence of kicking off the covers is that you may wake up cold and need to put them back on. As long as it is not freezing, it should come about naturally with no harm to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T19:37:04.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2011-10-03T20:52:44.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;(Copy from my answer to the Star Wars q)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMDB lists the age certifications a movie has received in many countries. This can act as a good guidance about movies you haven't seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the ones for Star Wars:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Iceland:L (special edition) / Iceland:LH (original version) (video re-rating) / Malaysia:U / Canada:G (British Columbia/Quebec) / South Korea:All / Brazil:Livre / South Africa:PG / Netherlands:12 (DVD rating) / Italy:T / Argentina:Atp / Australia:PG / Canada:PG (Manitoba/Ontario) / Canada:PG (Nova Scotia) (special edition) / Chile:TE / Denmark:11 (special edition) / Denmark:12 / Finland:K-12 (original rating) / Finland:K-8 (special edition) / France:U / Germany:6 (special edition) / Hong Kong:I / Iceland:L (original rating) / Ireland:G / Mexico:AA / Netherlands:AL / New Zealand:PG / Norway:11 (special edition) / Norway:12 / Peru:PT / Portugal:M/12 / Singapore:PG (special edition) / Spain:T / Sweden:11 / UK:U / USA:PG (certificate #24925) / West Germany:12 (original rating) / Canada:A (Nova Scotia) (original rating)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076759/parentalguide#certification&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076759/parentalguide#certification&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-10-03T20:52:44.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3116" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3118" CreationDate="2011-10-04T08:04:45.633" Score="10" ViewCount="2355" Body="&lt;p&gt;Searches have come up with when and which one, but no why. Why is it recommended or common to feed infants rice cereal as their first food? Why would we feed our daughter a processed food over a natural alternative?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1344" LastActivityDate="2011-10-05T15:47:21.943" Title="Why use rice cereal as a first food?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3116" CreationDate="2011-10-04T09:35:02.950" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rice is a very simple food.  It has a bland taste.  The texture is not too new.  The viscosity can be altered.  There's very little chance of allergic reactions.  It's easy to digest.  It can be mixed with other things - fruit puree, vegetable puree, etc to vary the taste and to help introduce other foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a first 'solid' food it's an excellent choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, really, the stage of using rice only lasts a few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-10-04T09:35:02.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3116" CreationDate="2011-10-04T15:09:29.320" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no &quot;rule&quot; that the first solid food has to be rice cereal.  However, it is frequently recommended as a first solid.  There are likely several reasons for this recommendation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;In short, the reason rice cereal is usually recommended is because it is relatively safe, makes a good transitional solid food, and is readily available.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rice may be less likely to cause an allergic reaction. However, this appears to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.food-allergens.de/symposium-vol1%284%29/data/rice/rice-data.htm&quot;&gt;vary by geographic region&lt;/a&gt;.  It seems rice allergies are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/8624.php&quot;&gt;more frequent&lt;/a&gt; in regions where rice is more of a staple, such as East Asia, but in other regions it seems more likely to be an issue for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.food-allergens.de/symposium-vol1%284%29/data/rice/rice-data.htm&quot;&gt;adults&lt;/a&gt; than children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Frequency of sensitivity to rice was six times higher in adults than&#xA;  in children (St. Louis, MO, USA)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not to say that allergies to rice are unheard of, as that same document cites &quot;severe shock&quot; during double-blind challenges involving rice and flour in at least 3 infants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the incidence of wheat-based reactions seems higher in young children, as wheat allergies seem to be the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/174405.php&quot;&gt;most common&lt;/a&gt; childhood food allergy.  In addition to common wheat allergies, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/celiac-disease/DS00319&quot;&gt;celiac disease&lt;/a&gt; is another concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Texture is another reason to recommend rice cereal, although there are other foods with similar texture that are perfectly adequate alternatives.  You can control the texture of the cereal by controlling how much moisture is added to the dry mix, resulting in a range of textures from thin, watery cereal that is not too dissimilar from breast-formula, to relatively thick and chunky cereal.  This facilitates a gradual transition to more challenging solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rice cereal, as well as other infant cereal mixes, can be mixed using formula or breast milk instead of plain water.  This adds additional nutrients, and further aids a gradual transition by virtue of incorporating familiar tastes for the infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final point in favor of rice cereal is its widespread commercial availability.  In my area, at least, every major supermarket carries infant rice cereal (and several other varieties of infant cereal).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;However...&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a growing school of thought that such transitional solids are not necessary, and that it is perfectly acceptable to start introducing infants to the same foods (with a few exceptions, due to allergen risks) as adults.  This is known as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyledweaning.com/&quot;&gt;baby led weaning&lt;/a&gt;, and is something that I was very interested in exploring with our son.  The basic concept is that children can learn to enjoy solid foods by simply eating what everyone else is eating.  This makes eating fun for the child, while allowing them to feel more &quot;involved&quot; in the family eating ceremonies (family dinner, etc.).  It can be extremely messy!  However, many parents who use this method &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.babycenter.com/life_and_home/our-take-on-baby-led-weaning/&quot;&gt;rave&lt;/a&gt; about the results.  One of the primary ideas is that &quot;food is for fun; breast milk/formula is for nutrition&quot;, and this seems to hold true for infants regardless of whether you start with cereals or jump right in with pork chops (and yes, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyledweaning.com/&quot;&gt;some parents give their 6 month olds pork chops&lt;/a&gt; - see the caption on the picture on the front page!).  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.justmommies.com/babies/the-basics-introducing-solid-foods&quot;&gt;Breastmilk or formula remains the primary source of nutrition to 12 months&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big drawback for baby led weaning may simply be getting support from your pediatrician. It seems that not all pediatricians may be familiar with this idea, and some may advocate against it.  I have not found any particular causes for concern voiced by pediatricians (aside from food allergies, and ensuring that any choking hazards are properly accounted for), but that does not mean there aren't legitimate concerns. I strongly advise you to check with your pediatrician if you are interested in pursuing something like baby led weaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-10-04T16:15:30.630" LastActivityDate="2011-10-04T16:15:30.630" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3119" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3122" CreationDate="2011-10-04T15:42:12.480" Score="11" ViewCount="7427" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our newborn is one week old and a boy. When we were still in hospital, the nurse was giving formula milk to our newborn every 3 hours. But since we brought our baby home, we exclusively breastfeed our newborn but not every 3 hours. We only breastfeed our newborn if he is crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that OK? Which one is better breastfeed newborn periodically (for example every 3 hours, if the newborn is sleeping, we should wake him up to be breastfed) or breastfeed newborn only if he is crying for milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastActivityDate="2017-02-17T23:06:22.917" Title="How often should my wife breastfeed our newborn?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3119" CreationDate="2011-10-04T16:27:58.710" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience babies typically want to eat more often than this. But as long as your pediatrictian thinks your baby's weight gain is healthy, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's really best not to feed on a schedule when they're this young and just focus on giving them as much as they want. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would consider trying to observe your baby more closely though because there may be other cues that he is hungry which you are missing if you're only feeding when he cries. Examples of such cues could be sucking his tongue or lip, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDQmakJmHfM&amp;amp;feature=related&quot;&gt;rooting&lt;/a&gt;, or just vocally calling to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also possible that early bottle feed could have caused some nipple confusion or that your baby doesn't want to have to work as hard to suckle; bottles typically flow more freely. You may want to consult a local &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/search/groups&quot;&gt;La Leche League group&lt;/a&gt; to get some hands on help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1571" LastEditDate="2011-10-04T18:57:43.503" LastActivityDate="2011-10-04T18:57:43.503" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3119" CreationDate="2011-10-04T16:41:29.857" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the information my pediatrician gave me, and from what I've read from other pediatricians, you &lt;a href=&quot;http://articles.cnn.com/2007-09-05/health/ep.newborn.mistakes_1_jaundice-baby-new-parents?_s=PM:HEALTH&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;should&lt;/a&gt;  wake up your baby to feed him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For very new newborns (2 weeks or younger), you should offer them food every four hours.  Sleeping for long periods at a stretch could mean they are too lethargic to wake themselves up to feed, and could be a sign that something more serious is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, after your 2-week checkup, I would agree with what @WilliamGrobman said: if your baby is healthy and gaining weight, then let him determine his feeding schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-10-04T16:41:29.857" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3119" CreationDate="2011-10-04T16:42:01.320" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Due to individual differences, healthy full-term babies may breastfeed as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/frequency.html&quot;&gt;often as every hour or as infrequently as every four hours&lt;/a&gt; and thrive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as the baby is getting enough, you can follow his lead for when to feed him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/breastfeeding/faqsbreastfeeding.html&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; recommends that newborns nurse at least 8-12 times every 24 hours.  If the baby is not waking up on his own to feed that often, you should be waking him if 3-4 hours have passed since the previous feeding.  This should be done until the baby regains their original birth weight, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/newborn/AN01687&quot;&gt;after which you do not need to wake them for feedings&lt;/a&gt;.  If you consistently have to do this, or if your son has a hard time waking up, you should notify your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As babies grow and their stomachs become larger, they naturally begin to go longer between feedings and develop more regular feeding patterns. Growth spurts may disrupt the more regular feeding patterns, but they are usually short lived.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-10-04T19:46:53.530" LastActivityDate="2011-10-04T19:46:53.530" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3116" CreationDate="2011-10-04T20:24:40.027" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Iron fortified rice cereal is important not just for the rice bit (well discussed on the other answers) but also for the iron bit. Babies are born with enough iron reserves to last them about six months, after that they need a top up. This six month age is when solids are recommended, so it makes sense to start them with an iron fortified food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are going your own route with the first food thing, I'd suggest you do some serious research first (ie: not SO). Your baby's stomach has never processed any thing other than milk before so feeding it a Egg McMuffin could be problematic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-10-04T20:24:40.027" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2011-10-05T12:36:18.540" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We still get this for both our sons, with the youngest we give him feetie pajamas (the ones with attached coverings for the feet), so even if he kicks the blankets off he'll still be somewhat covered.  Plus the feeties tend to be very warm, so he doesn't always need a blanket.  Although what helps is my wife and I have very different sleep patterns, and get up and different times during the night so we just make it a point to check on the kids and recover them.  Space heaters in the room, in winter, help as well as the central air we have.  The older one is harder because he never liked feeties, so we just dress him warm and try to recover him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you can train them, my boys both are active sleepers, I've seen my oldest change positions to be at a right angle to where he was when he went to sleep.  If the cold doesn't stop them, and it hasn't yet, we just try to keep the room comfy for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-10-05T12:36:18.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3116" CreationDate="2011-10-05T15:47:21.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The typical choice of a baby's first food(s) is a cultural artifact related to the baby's needs, parent's needs, available foods, beliefs about food, and marketing. (And many other things likely.) In the U.S. rice cereal performs high on all of these criteria. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do not want to use rice cereal, any steamed and pureed vegetable that is not an allergy risk will be nutritious. Maybe start with the orange/yellow colored veggies like bananas, squash or carrots. Also consider avocados. Keep it to one ingredient at a time so that you can figure out what is working and what is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind a variety of foods are needed for healthy development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-10-05T15:47:21.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3119" CreationDate="2011-10-05T18:13:17.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter slept 6 hours at night a few days after she was born and we were told as long as she was eating at least 8 times a day AND making her weight gain benchmarks there was no problem. If she was not making gains, then we would need to wake her - granted she ate much closer together during the day to off set her longer sleep at night. In the end, I would consult a pediatrician you trust that has actually seen your child to make the assessment because each baby will be different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-10-05T18:13:17.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2011-10-05T22:07:32.827" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you asked for &quot;strategies&quot; plural:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; way to raise a child who is fluent (and literate) in Tagalog despite growing up in an English-speaking country is for both parents to always speak Tagalog at home. Reserve English for interactions with the outside world — school, work, playmates. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't even bother teaching the child English at first; wait until she's old enough to want to speak to friends, or perhaps even until she enters preschool. Since English will be inevitably all around her (unless you lock her in the basement or something), she'll get plenty of exposure to its sounds/melody, so she'll have no trouble learning it fluently.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the above approach is not possible (that is, one of the parents only speaks English), the other major strategy is the one parent – one language approach. This is much harder, especially as the child gets older and it becomes uncool to speak the minority language, but it can be done. You still need to concentrate much more on teaching Tagalog; English will happen whether you want it or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If at all possible, interact with other Tagalog speakers - find a Philippine church or social group, &quot;import&quot; the grandparents, get a Tagalog-speaking babysitter or nanny, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to teach the English-speaking parent some rudimentary Tagalog, so at least things like feeding and dressing can happen without needing to involve English.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get reading and viewing materials in Tagalog. Consider disallowing English-language television.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Send the child to the Philippines for as many summers as you can afford. Failing that, find (or organize) a Tagalog-language summer camp.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If both parents speak the minority language, but nevertheless you find yourself unable to be so strict about keeping English out of the home, it is still possible to raise bilingual children. However, you will need to employ many of the strategies listed in the one parent – one language approach: as much Tagalog interaction as you can muster, language-immersion vacations whenever possible, lots of books and videos in Tagalog, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that no matter what strategy you use, there will come a time ([ahem]teenagers[/cough]) when no matter what you do, your child will refuse to speak Tagalog, or will only do so if specifically prompted. Keep insisting, and remember that this too shall pass, and eventually your child will thank you for raising her bilingual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="984" LastEditorUserId="984" LastEditDate="2012-07-07T20:22:54.440" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T20:22:54.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3128" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3130" CreationDate="2011-10-06T02:49:54.440" Score="6" ViewCount="54463" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it safe for pregnant women to eat egg yolks?  I'm sure scrambled or fried are fine, but what about over-easy or sunny side up where the yolk isn't cooked solid?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it makes a difference, I'm located in Canada, however I don't know that it will matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1701" LastActivityDate="2017-01-13T00:16:50.970" Title="Are egg yolks safe for pregnant women?" Tags="|food|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3128" CreationDate="2011-10-06T04:53:02.290" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no intrinsic reason why egg yolks are unsafe.  The only problem is that uncooked food can be contaminated with some pathogen that would require antibiotics that would be harmful to the fetus.  Salmonella is the main worry with eggs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few reasons why the risk is even less than you might think.  From an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.incredibleegg.org/egg-facts/egg-safety/eggs-and-food-safety&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;egg-producers' PR organization&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Are Salmonella bacteria most likely to be found in the egg’s white or yolk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: Bacteria, if they are present at all, are most likely to be in the white and will be unable to grow, mostly due to lack of nutrients. As the egg ages, however, the white thins and the yolk membrane weakens. This makes it possible for bacteria to reach the nutrient-dense yolk where they can grow over time if the egg is kept at warm temperatures. But, in a clean, uncracked, fresh shell egg, internal contamination occurs only rarely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if you can get eggs from a small organic / free-range farmer, instead of in the supermarket from vast arrays of caged hens, first of all, there's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.self.com/fooddiet/blogs/nutritiondata/2008/02/organic-free-ra.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;less likely to be salmonella around&lt;/a&gt;.  Secondly, if you can be sure the eggs are very fresh (picked up same day, immediately refrigerated), it's less likely that any salmonella present would have had time to grow.  From the first link, the rate of salmonella in eggs is about 1/20,000, and with using smaller farms with fresher eggs one should be able to cut that to 1/200,000 or less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the woman/couple in question need to decide what level of risk they're willing to tolerate, but with a little care, one is almost certainly safe eating yolks.  Eggs are a great source of nutrition, and the yolks are rich in many vitamins (including folate which is probably being supplemented anyway), so if buying free-range eggs from farmers that can house their birds at low density is an option, and if having runny yolks will increase the woman's egg intake, I'd speculate that on average it's probably &lt;em&gt;better&lt;/em&gt; to eat runny yolks than to forego eggs for fear of salmonella.  Eating just as many eggs but cooking them more thoroughly would be better yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-10-06T04:53:02.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3131" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3141" CreationDate="2011-10-06T13:33:00.690" Score="7" ViewCount="729" Body="&lt;p&gt;Often the focus is on the relationship between teachers and parents, which makes sense largely because the parents seek to manage their relationship with the teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: as a parent, what approaches or best practices work for getting students to manage their relationship with their teachers? Clearly the teachers' job is to manage students, and telling them how to do their job would be foolish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am asking this question in part because the selected answer for this question on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/321/how-can-we-make-the-most-of-parent-teacher-consultations&quot;&gt;How can we make the most of Parent-Teacher consultations?&lt;/a&gt;  basically says &quot;don't expect anything meaningful from parent-teacher conference day&quot; and to find alternative methods of communicating with the teacher.  I guess I see this as an alternative method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T18:09:03.860" Title="What are best practices for managing student-teacher relationships?" Tags="|school|teacher|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-06T19:49:43.953" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have struggled with this question, too, and have tried to balance the immediate effectiveness of &quot;bribing&quot; my children with the long-term lessons they're learning from my own behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, what seems to work best for me, is to identify real, tangible costs that are associated with whatever behavior I'm trying to guide. For instance, our boys (8 and 11) spend way too much time playing video games on their computers. I don't want them to learn there's anything wrong with playing video games, but I want them to get used to maintaining a balance of varied activities, so I felt that making arbitrary restrictions on the amount of time would be the wrong approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, we assigned a rental price to the PC of $5/hour. They get paid minimum wage ($7.25/hour) for the work they do around the house, so now they get to decide how much time they spend on the computer, but there are tangible constraints to keep them in balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been doing this for about a year now, and it seems to be working well enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1086" LastActivityDate="2011-10-06T19:49:43.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-07T11:11:16.583" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion it varies with age. We provide punishment and reward, and money comes into that along with treats. Here's what we have done with our three:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They all get pocket money of £1 per week from granny as standard&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my eldest two help me wash the car they get an extra pound. If they&#xA;are really naughty they may get no pocket money in a particular week.&#xA;Granny keeps the money, but every time she visits the kids get to&#xA;decide whether they want to spend the savings so far, or keep them.&#xA;When they want a new toy, or to go quad biking - they pay out of their&#xA;own savings. They rapidly learn the value of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the monetary side of things, we use treats:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are naughty they might get sent to bed with no dinner - If&#xA;they are good they might get dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When little, toilet training success was rewarded with a treat at each milestone&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they get a very good school report they get to choose a new book as a gift&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think rewards are extremely valuable, and including monetary rewards helps them prepare for later life&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:20:37.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-10-07T11:20:13.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We chose our three using a few rules:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must be a Celtic or Norse name - to reflect our country (we had looked at some lovely old Hebrew names, but they all seemed to have religious connotations)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must not be a common name - much better to have one that is memorable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should be slightly difficult to spell - adds to the memorable nature of it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must not make obscenities when shortened or initialed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must not be religious&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must not be the same as any exes my wife and I had&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really wanted Ragnar, but apparently another rule came into play:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Must work for children, not just big hairy vikings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ended up with two Scottish names and an Icelandic one&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-10-07T11:20:13.033" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-10-07T11:20:13.033" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3131" CreationDate="2011-10-07T12:27:53.010" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Communication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plain and simple, teach your kids to communicate with their teachers about issues and questions they have, rather than wait and let things escalate.  If they can't raise questions or concerns about school work then they might fail for simple reasons, or they might fail for doing the wrong thing.  Other than that, they can manage to have a relationship with their teacher if they need it for clubs, extra projects or whatever simply by communicating.  Don't be afraid to talk to a teacher, they are people too.  I don't really see much more than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the focus needs to turn on your child and their relationship with their teacher the answer I would give is the same, communication.  Ask your child how things are going, if they are talking to the teacher and how they are getting along.  A direct approach with kids is best, but if you need to, back it up with an email client that you can monitor incoming and outgoing mail - again be upfront that you want to see their communication.  Kids can often rebel, at some age, when parents beging &quot;getting in their grill&quot; and try to find out too much of what they do.  Keep it open that you want to know how the teacher and they are getting along so you can be sure they keep honest with you.  Talk to the teacher as well, see how things are, I've found the Parent-Teacher thing to be fine, but you have to ask the questions you want answered and keep an eye on homework.  It's a fine line between managing the communication and becoming an impediment, best thing is to act like a bystander and facilitate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-07-15T18:09:03.860" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T18:09:03.860" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3142" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3149" CreationDate="2011-10-07T14:48:59.260" Score="5" ViewCount="3271" Body="&lt;p&gt;I heard an answer to this question awhile back, and believe it's true - though guessing it's not based on any real research. The answer being that any toy that forms a bridge between them and their parents is the toy they like best. Any thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastEditorUserId="419" LastEditDate="2011-10-07T15:37:20.150" LastActivityDate="2018-04-10T10:37:23.130" Title="What toys tend to be a child's favorite, and why?" Tags="|toys|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2011-10-07T15:17:48.757" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming your house isn't really, really cold at night, having a blanket is a matter of comfort, not of health or safety. Some children (and adults!) prefer it very cool when sleeping. At 2 years old, your son probably can understand the concept of a &quot;warm blanket.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, I'd recommend providing a blanket and if he wants it, he'll mess around with it until he figures it out. (I suppose you could show him a couple of times how to pull it up and provide tips before going to bed if you want). That's basically what we've done. My two year old daughter sometimes decides to re-cover herself and sometimes not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And remember, you don't get a cold from being cold; you get it from a virus, so cold season coming up isn't relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1707" LastActivityDate="2011-10-07T15:17:48.757" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-10-07T15:39:17.853" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a pretty personal question. There isn't any &quot;right&quot; answer. My wife and I didn't want  the very popular, trendy names. For example, when I was growing up, there were waaaay too many Jasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also didn't want to go for a name that was completely off-the-wall. Therefore, we chose &quot;classic&quot; names that everyone (here in the USA) recognizes as names, have no negative connotations, but haven't been super popular in the past 50 years. For example, both of our children's names were in the top 25 for 1900, but haven't been in the top 100 in 50 years or so. Since these names are still around (in the top 300), they feel &quot;classic&quot; (as mentioned before), but avoid feeling old-timey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to think about what your child would think about their own name when they grow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in the United States, the Social Security Administration publishes lists of the most popular names with a lot of prior years available. The tool is fantastic. It even lets you type in a particular name you're interested in and see its trend as to how popular it has been in recent years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While not asked, I might also mention we went for regular, plain 'ole spelling for their names, not adopting the trend of coming up with &quot;unique&quot; spellings for a given name. They problem is that those unique spellings are never really unique and just result in children having to explain the spelling of their names more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far we haven't had regrets with our approach to naming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1707" LastActivityDate="2011-10-07T15:39:17.853" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-10-07T15:39:17.853" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-10-07T15:57:37.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me, a good name is a name which has good meaning. In other words, a name is what we pray for our child would be in the future. So it would be what parents hope for their children. In my country, usually the meaning would be related to the future character for their children.&#xA;The name should have a good nickname also, so our child won't get shy for their nickname.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastActivityDate="2011-10-07T15:57:37.753" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-10-07T15:57:37.753" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3142" CreationDate="2011-10-07T16:33:46.523" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on numerous observations: often the favorite toys for a lot of kids are things that &lt;strong&gt;can serve as containers&lt;/strong&gt; - from the standard &quot;carton box from a toy&quot; to assorted boxes/bottles/bags/etc... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2011-10-07T16:33:46.523" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3142" CreationDate="2011-10-07T17:45:54.550" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I liked what Beofett said in the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3010/how-many-toys-are-enough-too-much&quot;&gt;How many toys are enough / too much&lt;/a&gt; thread.  He suggested that &lt;b&gt;the best toys are toys that you can create things with&lt;/b&gt; (crayons, legos, etc.).  This held true for my brother and I as we were growing up-- while I only played with my easy bake oven for a few months, we played with our block set and legos for many years without getting bored with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-10-07T17:45:54.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3002" CreationDate="2011-10-07T18:04:20.030" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a touchy subject for some parents who suggest a &quot;no cry&quot; method, but we used the &quot;progressive wait&quot; approach suggested by Richard Ferber, MD who is &quot;associate professor of neurology at the Harvard Medical School and director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital Boston.&quot; You can find details in his book: &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0743201639&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems&lt;/a&gt; and the thoughts below are based on my reading of the book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically the idea is that your key problem preventing your child from sleeping through the night is that you put your child to bed already asleep, and he associates going to sleep with you cuddling with him. Everybody wakes up at various points during the middle of the night and if your child associates going to sleep with cuddling with you, rather than self-soothing, that is what they are going to need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A second problem is that it is distressing to your child for you to have suddenly disappeared. One moment you're there, and the next (conscious) moment after waking, you are not there. It would be kind of like if every time you woke up in the middle of the night (and everybody does that often--you just don't remember it because it is so brief) and your pillow was missing from under your head and you had to retrieve it from the floor. That would be more of an annoyance to you than distressing, but the analogy is decent, and it would disrupt the quality of your sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what's the solution? Well, teaching your child to go to sleep without anyone present. Some folks just do a &quot;cry it out&quot; approach (you lay the child down and let them cry until they fall asleep), but Ferber recognizes the stress that has on the child and developed his &quot;progressive wait&quot; approach as a direct wait of teaching your child to sooth himself and involves less overall crying than the &quot;cry it out&quot; approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In brief, the Ferber method is as follows (similar to Beofett's answer above, but has some differences):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Starting with a nighttime sleep period (not a nap), lay your child down awake after a short but pleasant bedtime routine. (The bedtime routine allows the child to start associating the routine with going to sleep and starts the processes of getting them in the &quot;its sleepytime&quot; mode). The bedtime routine is important!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say goodnight and leave the room. Your child will likely start to cry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick an amount of crying you're comfortable with (lets say 3 minutes in this example--it could be more or less) and after that amount of time go back into the room and reassure him (talk to him, rub his back) without picking him up or feeding him. Do this for 1 to 2 minutes and leave the room. Your child will likely still be crying at this point. Your goal here is not to stop the crying (although it's fine if he does stop crying); it is just to reassure him that you're still around for him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child will start (or continue) crying again. This time wait 6 minutes (3+3) before going in and reassuring him for 1-2 minutes and leaving.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep repeating this pattern, increasing the the amount of crying by 3 more minutes. So on the third cycle you wait 9 minutes before going back in to reassure. (The amount of time reassuring never changes. It stays at 1-2 minutes). If you wish, you can pick a maximum length of waiting that you won't go over no matter how many cycles you've done (e.g., 21 minutes).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eventually your child will fall asleep, but will likely wake later in the evening and start crying for you. Every time he does, repeat this pattern of letting him cry 3 minutes before going in to reassure him and then waiting longer and longer (6 minutes, 9 minutes, 12 minutes, etc) in between the 1-2 minute reassurance times.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So that's night #1.&lt;/strong&gt; It will be a hard night for you and your child. For my children, it involved around two hours of crying in total (between all of the wake ups), so pick a night to start this when either you or your child being well-rested the following day isn't critical. Many parents report it taking more time, some less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Naps should be handled the same way and since the child's &quot;drive to sleep&quot; isn't as strong at nap time, you may hit a situation where you're child has cried for an hour and not fallen asleep. At that point, do the unthinkable and skip the nap. You'll have a crank child. Do not do a cuddly activity where they child might fall asleep. Try and keep them awake until the next nap time, but you might end up doing the next nap a little sooner than usual and that's OK during this period. When that nap time comes around do the same routine as stated above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What happens on nights (and days) 2, 3, 4, etc?&lt;/strong&gt; Well, it works the same way except you increase the minimum time you wait before going in to reassure him. On night #2, for our example, you would wait 6 minutes before going in to reassure him and then 9 minutes after that, and 12, etc. You also increase the maximum amount of time you wait (24 minutes instead of 21 using our example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few additional points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're child seems like he is going to fall asleep during one of the &quot;reassurance periods,&quot; cut it short and leave before he falls asleep. This will cause him to start crying again, but remember the goal is to help him learn to fall asleep without your presence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have to stick to your guns and follow it through if you're going to use this method. According to the book some parents will say something along the lines of &quot;this method doesn't work. My child has been crying for 2 hours so I had to pick them up and stop the crying.&quot; While well-intentioned, the problem is that by picking the child up, it has encouraged the child to cry more and for longer periods knowing &lt;em&gt;eventually&lt;/em&gt; the parent will give in and pick them up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is ideal if you and your spouse/partner can switch off going in during the reassurance times, each going in every-other-time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it sounds like your child is about ready to fall asleep, but it is time for you do do a reassurance session, you can delay it. If you child falls asleep, great! You don't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to be super rigid about the times--the biggest thing is that the wait time increases each time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After you've gotten your children sleeping on their own--you may have setbacks. If a young child is really sick or something big is happening, you may end up with a temporary situation where he may not be able to go to sleep alone. You may have to go back to cuddling to sleep, but keep it temporary. After the situation has resolved, and go back to the normal bedtime routine (of laying them down awake), if the child resists, you can start over with the Ferber method. The second time through will go super-fast for your child though--not nearly has much crying involved. He has already learned out to self-sooth, it is now just a matter of informing him (via not picking him up) that it is time to go back to doing it himself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is hard doing this--don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Hearing my children cry like that knowing I could end it quickly was very sad. I cried myself. However, my goal for this was to help my child get better sleep, not to help help myself, and it very quickly paid off. Night #1 is the hardest, and can involve hours of crying. Night #2 was better, but still somewhat brutal. Night #3 was a turning point for both of my children and involved much less crying. By night #4 things were pretty routine and there was a minimal crying. Around night #5 we could lay our children down and they would fall asleep on their own and sleep through the night. It was amazing! In the span of a few days we went from frequent wake ups to basically sleeping through the night. We keep our baby monitors turned way up, so we would still hear when they'd wake up in the middle of the night and adjust their position in the crib, but there wouldn't be any crying and they'd be back to sleep quickly. They got sooo much better sleep and were happier for it during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1707" LastActivityDate="2011-10-07T18:04:20.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3142" CreationDate="2011-10-07T18:16:00.967" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, from my experience every &lt;strong&gt;new toy&lt;/strong&gt; is the favorite toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The interesting question is: &lt;strong&gt;how long&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much things and toys are interesting only for a short time and others will be used again and again. The more flexible they are (as Sarato describes in her answer &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3142/what-toys-tend-to-be-a-childs-favorite-and-why/3147#3147&quot;&gt;What toys tend to be a child&amp;#39;s favorite, and why?&lt;/a&gt; ), the longer they'll last - e. g. Duplo, Lego, building bricks or a wooden railway which can be used every time in a different way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my experience (with a nearly 4 year old boy), I'd say, the following &lt;strong&gt;features&lt;/strong&gt; make a toy especially interesting for a (our) child: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if anything &lt;strong&gt;moves&lt;/strong&gt; (by hand or automatically), e. g. a digger with a functional shovel, all kinds of vehicles, a fire engine with a ladder which can be turned or tilted, ...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if they can make &lt;strong&gt;sound&lt;/strong&gt; (electronic toys or musical instrument)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if it has a motor (electrical, radio controlled, or whatever) and &lt;strong&gt;can move by itself&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if it &lt;strong&gt;imitates real objects&lt;/strong&gt; that only adults are allowed to use (tools, cars, computers, ...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if it &lt;strong&gt;touches the child's interest&lt;/strong&gt; (fire engine, police car, ship, tools, stuffed animals...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if it has to do with &lt;strong&gt;water&lt;/strong&gt; (like the water canal systems)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toys, our son uses most often (at home, we don't know exactly, what he does in the kindergarten) are at the moment &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;his wooden railway and the &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;duplo bricks (with people, animals, vehicles, ...)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;EDIT: now LEGO or Baufix (wooden parts with holes, which can be assembled with wooden screws)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a cassette player&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and handicraft working (scissors, paper, water color, ...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and he has several favorite cuddly toys&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T10:02:03.867" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-10-07T22:44:08.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Swearing is a behavior, not a vocabulary.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reason I say this is because simply not using the words or exchanging them with &quot;innocent words&quot; is not going to change the manner and tone you respond to an event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience is that kids learn the behavior, even if the words are replaced with &quot;innocent words&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that at least in some cases that kids are smart enough to know not to use them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastActivityDate="2011-10-07T22:44:08.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3153" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3179" CreationDate="2011-10-09T05:20:18.700" Score="5" ViewCount="626" Body="&lt;p&gt;REI.com is currently running a sale on their &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rei.com/search?query=baby%20backpacks&quot;&gt;selection of baby backpacks&lt;/a&gt;. I'm not looking for a product recommendation because ultimately that's like asking someone's favorite flavor of ice cream. What I am interested in are people's recommendations on what to consider when purchasing a baby backpack. We live at the foot of one and near several mountain ranges so do a fair amount of hiking. We have twins so can make concessions on one backpack (better for mom, roomier etc.) if we can make them up in the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there better positions for the baby to be carried in? How much room for carrying stuff is necessary? Is there anything in particular to stay away from? Are particular bag features safer than others?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;My twins are 3 months old, but were two months premature and currently both are just over 9 pounds. Even if we cannot use the carrier straight away I'd like to purchase two during the sale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1483" LastEditorUserId="1483" LastEditDate="2011-10-09T15:18:22.163" LastActivityDate="2011-10-13T19:50:43.777" Title="What are things to consider when purchasing a baby backpack?" Tags="|infant|safety|twins|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3154" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3166" CreationDate="2011-10-09T09:30:38.090" Score="24" ViewCount="39235" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can parents find the right time to encourage a child to clean itself after bowel movements?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is nearly 4 years old and it is still difficult for him to get to the toilet early enough (see here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2209/how-can-we-potty-train-our-pre-schooler-outside-the-home&quot;&gt;How can we potty-train our pre-schooler outside the home?&lt;/a&gt;). During our holiday, for 2 weeks everything worked perfectly and he always told us when he needed a toilet, so that there was not a single &quot;accident&quot; in those two weeks (even in a foreign environment).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we got back to the kindergarten after the holiday, 2 days went well and then he started again to poo in his underwear (also at home), so that we finally decided to make a step back to diapers (as he often stated, he did not want to go to the toilet, because it was &quot;too far&quot; and seemed not to be willing to cooperate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time he said each morning, that he did not want to go to the kindergarten (when asked for reasons, they were manifold and mostly concerned preferring to play at home with certain toys...) .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got aware of the fact that the kindergarten teacher let him clean himself, when the diaper was full - I assume to show him that it was not an enjoyable job for &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; - which at first seemed to make sense to me. (Sure they helped him afterwards, but he had to start putting the diaper off and cleaning as good as he could.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However I  then learned, that &lt;strong&gt;he seems to see that as a punishment&lt;/strong&gt; and therefore does not tell them less than ever if the diaper is &quot;full&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we then thought, that it might have a strong &lt;em&gt;negative impact to force him cleaning himself.&lt;/em&gt; And I got aware of the fact, that &lt;em&gt;at home&lt;/em&gt; we had &lt;em&gt;never allowed or encouraged&lt;/em&gt; him to clean himself, so he was forced to do something which he maybe thought was forbidden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been talking to several kindergarten teachers and they claim that the other kids (&gt;3 years) are also cleaning themselves. &#xA;That's why I'm asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that this is much easier for the kindergarten teachers and that autonomy is a good thing to learn, but I wonder&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;are those kids at the age of 3 really able to clean themselves appropriately?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what about hygiene (washing hands, ...)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what about children with special &lt;strong&gt;digestive troubles&lt;/strong&gt; or disorders?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Our son has bowel movements at least once daily, sometimes 4 times a day and it is often quite loose bowels, so maybe more difficult for him to get aware of it coming out and for sure much more difficult to clean, as it is quickly distributed everywhere in the diaper...&#xA;After long &quot;research&quot; we finally seemed to find the reason for that: he seems to have an &lt;em&gt;imbalanced gut flora&lt;/em&gt; which might cause those frequent and often loose bowels (as well as weakening his immune system etc.)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update&#xA;We made some good progress during the last weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we encouraged him also at home to clean himself and made clear to him that this is a privilege to be allowed to do that, and after some days of seeming to be not very comfortable with it, he now tries to clean himself voluntarily.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;for 7 consecutive days he managed to leave his pants clean, which gives us hope that we're on a good way&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(he normally poo'es in the morning before going to the kindergarten and in the evening before going to bed - and most days he seems not to have had more bowel movements than those two.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T02:47:27.523" Title="At what age can/should a child be able to clean themselves after bowel movements?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|hygiene|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3153" CreationDate="2011-10-09T09:48:24.293" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the most important information  is the &lt;strong&gt;age&lt;/strong&gt; of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;AFAIK the &quot;hard&quot; seats on the back are not really suitable for young toddlers, as they are &quot;sitting&quot; on a very thin support and if their head is not supported accordingly, it is not good for their spine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most important features IMHO:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;large and soft &lt;strong&gt;support surfaces&lt;/strong&gt; for the child (tissue, no hard and stiff seat!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;child's &lt;strong&gt;head must be supported&lt;/strong&gt; (for young children)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;safety?!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ease of use&lt;/strong&gt; (are you able to put it on and off safely alone?!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;mechanics&quot;:&lt;/strong&gt; how does it &lt;strong&gt;distribute the child's weight&lt;/strong&gt; on the carrying person? (it should not only rely on the shoulders, as this makes carrying very tiring, especially when the child gets heavier, but also rely on the hips.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can you see/stroke the baby?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'd recommend to have the child on your stomach/breast to be able to see it/communicate with it and it is much easier to put on.&#xA;I think the models which let the child look forward (while it is &quot;hanging&quot; in front of you) have the problem with baby's head swinging freely, so IMHO it's better if the child is looking to the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had an ERGObaby carrier like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ergobabycarriers.com/babycarriers/item/BC4S/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;that one&lt;/a&gt; and were very satisfied with it. This shall be not product recommendation (even if we think it is a real good one), but to explain the type of backpack I'm talking about.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Good features&lt;/strong&gt; of the baby carrier: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it rests on the hips, so not all the weight is on your shoulders!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the lap belt is easily adjustable &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the lap belt has an extra &quot;backup&quot;, so if you open the belt buckle and forget to support your child by hand, it does not fall down immediately.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-10-09T19:02:37.187" LastActivityDate="2011-10-09T19:02:37.187" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3159" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3160" CreationDate="2011-10-10T10:28:28.997" Score="5" ViewCount="889" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe I'm too early to ask about this, since my status changed to be a father since 25 September ago.. But I'm very curious about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I learned from my surroundings (my friends family, my neighbours, etc) that their children (middle/high school) are mostly far more attracted to others than us as the parents. Their children are more attracted to TV, hanging out with their friends, playing video games rather than spending more time with the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's alright if the children can learn good values from those, but what they do not?&#xA;Maybe this is not happening to all families...  But I think the parent's enemies right now are those things (TV, video games, etc). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why are they more attractive than us (as parents)? &#xA;How do we make ourselves more attractive than those things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope my questions are clear, since I'm not from US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-10-10T15:44:20.767" LastActivityDate="2015-11-04T12:53:44.207" Title="How can we make parents more attractive than TV, video games, etc.?" Tags="|school|development|video-games|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3159" CreationDate="2011-10-10T10:51:46.273" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, my experience is different (up to now), as our son, who is &quot;only&quot; nearly 4 years old, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;does not have access to TV or video games etc. yet and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is very, very interested in spending time with us (his parents)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For older children I wonder:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What about the parents, you're talking about? Do they really &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to spend more time with their children?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Many parents may be happy to have some time for themselves and will probably not insist in spending more time with their children, if the children become more independent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think for children it is important to get autonomous and independent, and so it is one of the difficult and painful goals of youth and puberty to find one's own way and learn to become independent from the parents to build up one's own life.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(As well it might be difficult for the parents to let the children go and make their own decisions, which might be sometimes &quot;wrong&quot; - at least from parents' perspective).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some ideas:&#xA;IMHO if parents want to be or become (more) &quot;attractive&quot; for their children, they have to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be &lt;strong&gt;really interested&lt;/strong&gt; in spending time with their children and working on their relationship&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;honestly make an effort to &lt;strong&gt;respect the interests and opinions of the children&lt;/strong&gt; and not only impose on them activities that the parents would like&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try to &lt;strong&gt;find activities&lt;/strong&gt; which are &lt;strong&gt;inspiring and interesting&lt;/strong&gt; for the children, give them possibility to learn and discover things and have fun together&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be a &lt;strong&gt;positive role model&lt;/strong&gt; (if the parents spend considerable time in front of the TV, why shouldn't the children?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-10-11T16:21:38.293" LastActivityDate="2011-10-11T16:21:38.293" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2011-10-10T13:56:22.903" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;While it may have used to be a rough indicator of ethnicity, country-of-origin, religion or class, with the Internet age and the 'cult of celebrity', you really cannot tell much about a person from their name. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A person's name is one of the most precious things to them, so it is important that it can't be a source of ridicule for the person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some of the issues I've noticed, with real-world examples (some names changed to protect the innocent):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teasing at School&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Name-calling kind of starts at school where children from a variety of backgrounds are brought together. If you've named your baby something that has an obvious contraction or contortion to something rude or famous/topical, your child is going to get teased about it. Sometimes this could be cool - I've met someone named 'James Bond' - but other times this could be the source of endless teasing such as for Harrison (Harry) Potter. Any fan of &quot;The Simpsons&quot; can attest to this stuff - &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.prank-calls.net/bart-simpson/&quot;&gt;Hugh Jass&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unintentional Associations&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some cultures or religions that will leap to all sorts of conclusions based on a name as it is common to name a child according to a religious book/story or culture. For example, some latin-American boys will be named 'Jesus' (pronounced 'hay-soose') but some people might find this unusual. Similarly, the German name 'Adolf' was probably just fine until the 1920's. A guy I know is named &quot;Wi&quot; ('Wee') - which possibly amused some people until Nintendo brought out a popular games console and now nobody mentions it. Apple just released a feature named 'Siri' which seems pleasant - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bing.com/search?q=siri%20japanese&amp;amp;form=MOZSBR&quot;&gt;but not to Japanese people&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parents' and Siblings' names&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if the parents names are Anna and Andrew Smith, should they think twice about naming their children Amy and Alex? So when a letter/card/parcel/present is addressed to 'A. Smith', who is it to? This may seem like a minor point, but consider the Health Centre that calls up &quot;Mr A Smith&quot; with blood test results and Mrs Smith leaps to the conclusion that her son is sick/dirty when in fact it was husband just getting a routine test for something that could most easily be detected through a blood test (e.g. insulin levels). Ooops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mis-spelling&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've met a 'Leila' (Irish version) and a 'Layla' (she was Afghani) so I understand there's variations in spelling due to culture or religion, but one mother recently tried to explain to me that &quot;Cristle&quot; was the correct spelling of 'Crystal', &quot;like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cristal_%28champagne%29&quot;&gt;champagne&lt;/a&gt;&quot;. I'm not sure whether it was a deliberate choice (this spelling already exists) or that she just could not spell properly, which is truly sad for her daughter who has to wait 16 years (UK) to get it corrected if that's the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;'Name Day'&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some cultures have a celebration each day of the year for people with a certain name, or derivation of it, rather than their actual birthday. This has benefits - nobody forgets your birthday as the calendars usually have the boy and girl name of the day on them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Contra-indications&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that a number of people feel that a persons' name will likely dictate their outcome in life. They may cite examples such as &quot;Dave&quot;, &quot;Bob&quot; and &quot;Mike&quot; being popular names for carpenters, builders and electricians and that people named &quot;St. John&quot;, &quot;Tarquin&quot; or &quot;Lockhart&quot; may be polo players or investment bankers. The book '&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.freakonomics.com&quot;&gt;Freakonomics&lt;/a&gt;' discussed this theory in the chapter 'The Socioeconomic patterns of naming children'. IIRC, they concluded that people are more likely to name their child based on their own socio-economic situation and that the name had little or no bearing on the childs' future, QED past and present US Presidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following is a list of names of real people I've discovered (in real life or on the news), as background to the above points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ophelia Bowles. Nice classical first name but the parents clearly didn't think through how it would work with the surname. (If you're non-English speaking, this sounds like 'I feel your balls')&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In my home town, Mr &amp;amp; Mrs House named their daughter Wendy and son Maxwell. At first I thought this was a joke - and then I met them. I honestly think this was deliberate. If you're not from the UK, a 'Wendy House' is the popular name for a children's play house (often made from material) and 'Maxwell House' is a cheap brand of instant coffee.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I met a Mr and Mrs Tickle and they told me they were deeply worried that their son Bob was going to marry the girl he'd been dating. Her name was 'Tess'.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7522952.stm&quot;&gt;A court case in New Zealand&lt;/a&gt; ruled that a girl could change her name &quot;Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii&quot; as she hated it and wasn't old enough to change it herself yet. See the link for many more examples of unusual names, both humorous and hair-raising including twins named &quot;Benson &amp;amp; Hedges&quot; (a brand of cigarette).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neville_Neville&quot;&gt;UK cricketer is named 'Neville Neville'&lt;/a&gt; and a programmer in our office is named 'Long long'. I guess this makes form-filling easier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="18" LastEditDate="2011-10-12T08:20:41.017" LastActivityDate="2011-10-12T08:20:41.017" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-10-10T13:56:22.903" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3159" CreationDate="2011-10-10T16:10:11.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In young children it's likely that all that is needed is the parent's curious and focused attention. We should take the time away from undesired behaviors (like watching television) and give it to playing with our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-10-10T16:10:11.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3154" CreationDate="2011-10-10T17:26:29.413" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As part of the first time parent program through our hospital, we get partnered with other first time parents of similar aged children. My group consisted of 10 children all born within 3 weeks. Every one of those children was able to use the potty, wipe themselves clean, and wash up before they were four.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From talking to teachers, they expect that skill before four, some say it should always be possible by three and a half.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1607" LastActivityDate="2011-10-10T17:26:29.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3142" CreationDate="2011-10-11T00:19:46.430" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reasons for a child selecting a toy might include:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Toy's Status:&lt;/strong&gt; If the toy is widely recognized, respected, and remembered -- it's more likely to be &quot;naturally selected.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Generational Longevity:&lt;/strong&gt; While a child might influence an adults toy purchase, in most case adults buy the toys, and adults are more likely to buy toys that they have an emotional connection to according to this &lt;a href=&quot;http://toyology.co.uk/retro-survery-results-are-in&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;survey of 3,000 adult&lt;/a&gt; by a top toy news site Toyology. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Durability:&lt;/strong&gt; If the toy doesn't last, it's less likely to become highly familiar to the child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discovery:&lt;/strong&gt; If the toy fosters learning and creativity, an emotional bond between the child and the toy is more likely.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Innovation:&lt;/strong&gt; If the toy profoundly changes the way a child plays; for example, gaming systems completely changed the world of toys.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;Adult Like&quot;:&lt;/strong&gt; Children like to pretend their adults, examples include: caring for babies, shooting guns, construction, cooking, and driving. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Portability:&lt;/strong&gt; The more places the child is able to use the toy, the more likely they're to use it, and the more time they spend with the toy the more likely it is to be their favorite.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you're looking for a blast from the past, you might check out the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.toyhalloffame.org/toys&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;National Toy Hall of Fame's &quot;List of Inducted Toys&quot;&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/strong&gt; Atari 2600, Baby Doll, Ball, Barbie, Bicycle, Big Wheel, Candy Land, Cardboard Box, Checkers, Crayola Crayons, Duncan Yo-Yo, Easy-Bake Oven, Erector Set, Etch A Sketch, Frisbee, The Game of Life, G.I. Joe, Hula Hoop, Jack-in-the-Box, Jacks, Jigsaw Puzzle, Jump Rope, Kite, Lego, Lincoln Logs, Lionel Trains, Marbles, Monopoly, Mr. Potato Head, Nintendo Game Boy, Play-Doh, Playing Cards, Radio Flyer Wagon, Raggedy Ann and Andy, Rocking Horse, Roller Skates, Scrabble, Silly Putty, Skateboard, Slinky, Stick, Teddy Bear, Tinkertoy, Tonka Trucks, and the View-Master.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Yes, this is my question, but after looking into the question more myself, I thought I'd share what I had found.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastEditorUserId="419" LastEditDate="2011-10-11T15:55:58.590" LastActivityDate="2011-10-11T15:55:58.590" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3154" CreationDate="2011-10-11T18:17:30.860" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our Kindergarten, in Northeast US, required potty training to be complete - so the kids can go and take care of themselves.  Kindergarten here begins at 5 years, in my area, so I would expect most kids be capale of doing this by themselves.  In our DayCare when my son was 4 years he was expected to know most of this, and did pretty well with it, we did put toilet training off a bit but he caught on quickly.  The important thing was to make him think it was natural and we needed to be clean afterwards, but when it was messy it became a challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We instituted hand washing for pretty much anything, although my wife goes overboard on certain things more than me, but I still have a rule that if you have gone into the bathroom you don't come out without washing your hands.  Mostly due to my time working in restaurant kitchens, but I like to prevent issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son has loose bowels like you mention it may be a bit much for him to clean up by himself, we've learned to deal with it as adults but often kids think its more gross than it is.  My son has the same reactions, and at home sometimes calls us in to wipe himself - even at 6 years old.  I may give him toilet paper but it has be a real issue for me to do anything, and that is mostly when he is sick.  Since my oldest is now able to take care of himself and did a fairly good job around 3 years old we are going to do the same with our youngest (18 months) and hopefully have him ready about the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I looked at it, once our child could reach &quot;back there&quot; and knew what was going on, then it was time for him to be able to do it.  Maturity level in many things of course matters with most kids, but they should be able to start doing it on their own, and I know plenty of 3 year olds than can handle the job by themselves.  Considering many of our day care and pre-schools also have the requirement that by 4 years old kids should be completely toilet trained, to know when to go and clean up, then I don't think this is unrealistic either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-10-11T18:17:30.860" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3159" CreationDate="2011-10-11T21:57:34.463" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Avoid watching the television yourself and make the effort to play with/interact with your child. Do things you find fun with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way you become a great role model for the behaviours you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you tend to sit and watch TV without talking, that is exactly what they will end up doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-10-11T21:57:34.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3086" CreationDate="2011-10-12T03:51:15.573" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe switch bottles to something that is closer to breastfeeding, not the shape but the action? I read something about that on a site discussing Nuk bottles/nipples. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1722" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2018-04-06T16:48:23.173" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T16:48:23.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3142" CreationDate="2011-10-12T23:03:19.693" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The favorite will vary from child to child also changing with developmental stages. A favorite for most infants and young toddlers are things with faces. This can be anything from a mirror to a stuffed animal to a doll. The reason this is generally a preferred toy for young children is that their favorite thing to look at is their parents' faces so it is familiar to them. This may never change for some children. &#xA;The primary purpose of play with toddlers and young school aged children is to explore roles and they quickly seek out creative play mimicking adults in their life or things they have seen on TV. If they see Mommy cooking every day, they will want toys to imitate that, likewise if there is someone using tools often, etc. My 2 year old nephew current favorite is Swiffer with a section of the handle removed - he helps every day dusting the floors with it and will do so for hours on end. &#xA;I do wonder if the question is actually intending to ask what the most &quot;popular&quot; or common favorite toy, as it is a relatively individual thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-10-12T23:03:19.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3171" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-12T23:14:42.473" Score="5" ViewCount="510" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (4 year old) gets on well with all of the children at his childcare and also has a smaller group of 3 or 4 close friends. However, he is super-sensitive to anything they say: not every day, but often he frets about the clothes he wears, what toys he is going to take for news day, what time he arrives at school etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is one boy who is one of his two best friends who likes to comment on things and ask my son why he is wearing something or why he brought something. It's definitely not teasing, because its his friend, its just part of that boy's personality. This boy gets given lots of toys by his parents and always wears lots of Spiderman etc. clothing so my son thinks he is second best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has never been bullied because he is good at physical activities and is quite likeable, but I am worried that when he goes to school next year worse things are going to be said, which is just life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I harden my son up and teach him to have confidence in himself and appreciate the things he has? Note, I could go out and buy him a bunch of toys or clothes etc. but I don't think that will solve the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:56:27.333" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T22:56:27.333" Title="How to stop my son being overly sensitive of his peers?" Tags="|pre-schooler|conflict|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3159" CreationDate="2011-10-12T23:19:41.650" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We naturally begin as the most interesting and important &quot;things&quot; in our children's lives. We are their world. The most important thing we can do to remain the center of their universe is to have them remain the center of ours. Our activities should center around interactions with our children, modeling the behaviors and activities we value. &#xA;However, there will come a point that you will no longer be cool. I have see too many parents make the mistake as their children enter adolescence, you cannot be your child's buddy. It is important when they reach that stage to maintain your morals as well as your position as the parent. That is not to say you should stop doing things with your children just because they do not &quot;like&quot; the activities or seemingly do not like you. &#xA;The truth is, I can recall countless family activities that I said I did not want to participate in as a teen that are among the best experiences of my life. Bottom line, thank goodness my parents made participation in family activities non-debatable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-10-12T23:19:41.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3131" CreationDate="2011-10-12T23:45:52.777" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure this is so much an answer as insight. I am a teacher and a librarian. I have taught every level in every socioeconomic category. I have found time and again that the child's interaction absolutely reflects the parent's interaction with teachers. This is actually a major topic of discussion among the teaching profession. In the past 11 years I have seen a deterioration of support for teachers. Parents, politicians, newscasters, and others are putting forth a negative perception of a group of people who entered a profession with the intent to help students reach their highest potential. This has naturally led to a deterioration of the manner students address their teachers. I fondly remember my first group of students - at risk teens - because they were respectful. (mostly)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best advise in brokering a positive relationship between your child and their teacher is to be positive and respectful of the profession and the individual. If you manage the message you present to your child, you will be managing the relationship they create. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a bit confused why you feel this relationship needs to be managed - if it is due to some problem that already exists, I would strongly suggest a parent, teacher, student conference where you encourage your child to do the talking. If you think the teacher would be hesitant, lay the ground work with the teacher ahead of time. I have always prefered this type of conference because the parent, teacher and student should be a team all working to the same goal so all parties should take part in the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**Note that I am an American teacher, and perhaps other countries have different issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-10-12T23:45:52.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3171" CreationDate="2011-10-13T04:36:15.160" Score="5" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reinforce his belief in his own abilities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the best ways to do that is to show him ways in which he IS good/better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g. &quot;yes, some other kids may have more toys, BUT you are the best at building new constructions from lego blocks&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another side of this is explaining to him that the other kid has all those things NOT because he's somehow better and/or that him not having them is not because he is somehow worse/punished etc..&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Honestly explain that people don't always say nice things and sometimes WANT to say something hurtful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;4 year olds generally are intelligent enough to clearly understand the concept.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use himself as example. Unless he's very unique, I'm SURE at one point or another when he was ticked off he told you &quot;I don't love you&quot;/&quot;you're bad parents&quot; etc...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that people who ALWAYS say things like that aren't the kind of people he should be paying attention to.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he has a support base and KNOWS it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If some kid teases him about cloths, one of his first thoughts should be &quot;well, let me ask my parents if that is true that my clothes suck&quot;. And that he has assurance that you won't blow off his concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2011-10-13T04:36:15.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3175" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3181" CreationDate="2011-10-13T15:04:21.427" Score="14" ViewCount="1325" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;TL;DR&lt;/em&gt;: Is there anything wrong with praising children to their parents while the children can hear it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From R. Kipling's &quot;The jungle book&quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;‘How beautiful are the noble children! How large are their eyes! And&#xA;  so young too! Indeed, indeed, I might have remembered that the&#xA;  children of kings are men from the beginning.’&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Now, Tabaqui knew as well as anyone else that there is nothing so&#xA;  unlucky as to compliment children to their faces. It pleased him to&#xA;  see Mother and Father Wolf look uncomfortable. Tabaqui sat still,&#xA;  rejoicing in the mischief that he had made, [...]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is praising children so they can hear it really considered bad behaviour, or is it just based on superstition?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can think of a situation where a parent just reprimanded a child for doing something bad, at which moment praise could be unwelcome - but other than that, it seems to me that children hearing their positive treats praised can only increase their self-esteem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1060" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-09T14:37:36.037" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T14:37:36.037" Title="Is complimenting children where they can hear it good or bad?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|self-esteem|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3175" CreationDate="2011-10-13T17:13:34.220" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've actually heard the opposite, at least for younger kids.  If you want to encourage a certain behavior in them then (in addition to complimenting them directly) you can tell someone else about them while the child is there listening.  This makes the child proud of the behavior, and hopefully they'll want to do it again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In older children, it may backfire if they think you're trying to manipulate them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-10-13T17:13:34.220" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3086" CreationDate="2011-10-13T19:32:53.927" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many Hospitals in the US have Lactation consultants and this is all they do. We had issues with our second child that was stressing both the baby and the mommy out. The consultant came in and worked wonders for us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also check out La Leche League, an organization of lactation consultants: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/resources.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.llli.org/resources.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-10-21T07:21:28.237" LastActivityDate="2011-10-21T07:21:28.237" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3175" CreationDate="2011-10-13T19:47:49.783" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Complimenting children so that they can hear it is a good thing.  It boosts self-esteem, encourages confidence, etc etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child does well on a test it's good to say (to the child) things like &quot;Well done, you put a lot of work into that, and it paid off&quot; to emphasise that effort is important, rather than saying &quot;My! Aren't you clever!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-10-13T19:47:49.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3153" CreationDate="2011-10-13T19:50:43.777" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a 3 month old baby you would need a soft carrier like an Ergo or Beco, not a framed backpack carrier. REI's website does include a couple Ergo models. I've heard Ergo and Beco ones will be usable significantly longer than a baby bjorn or snuggli type of carrier and be more comfortable, and usually can be worn in front or back. Be sure to check the age and weight limitations as well as whether the carrier can be worn on front only or is reversible. Look how the weight is distributed. Not all distribute the weight well. Some are difficult to get the child in or out of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are looking to get a backpack carrier for when the babies are old enough to ride in one, look for comfortable padding, and a fit that can be adjusted to fit you well. The straps to hold the baby in should be comfortable and padded as well. Look for a design that is free-standing when the baby is not in the carrier for easy loading and unloading. Look at how difficult it is to get the baby strapped in and how well supported they are (some will support them all the way to their shoulders, others only to the mid-back). How high will they sit up in the carrier, will they be able to see over your shoulders? Are the straps easy to adjust for fit? How heavy is the carrier itself? Do you need additional storage, or just space for the baby? What age and weight/height limits does the carrier have for the child and/or additional luggage? Are there add on accessories like sun-shades you can get for the carrier?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-10-13T19:50:43.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3180" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3183" CreationDate="2011-10-13T21:19:56.957" Score="5" ViewCount="4324" Body="&lt;p&gt;When baby-proofing an electrical receptacle (aka, &quot;outlet&quot;), is it necessary to use covers:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/jqIRm.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Electrical outlet covers&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the electrical receptacle is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.leviton.com/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?section=23899&amp;amp;minisite=10021&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;tamper resistant&quot;&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1336" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-10-14T06:12:42.737" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T04:16:01.003" Title="Are outlet covers needed with tamper resistant electrical receptacles?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3175" CreationDate="2011-10-14T00:51:40.517" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Research indicates that praise can be both negative and positive. &lt;a href=&quot;http://dc.cod.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1318&amp;amp;context=essai&amp;amp;sei-redir=1&amp;amp;referer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Furl%3Fsa%3Dt%26source%3Dweb%26cd%3D5%26ved%3D0CD0QFjAE%26url%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fdc.cod.edu%252Fcgi%252Fviewcontent.cgi%253Farticle%253D1318%2526context%253Dessai%26rct%3Dj%26q%3DNegative%2520impact%2520of%2520praise%26ei%3Dxn6XTtH_B4e3twfR0LGABA%26usg%3DAFQjCNFTu6R9MH4MuAnBWCj_tC8vJBRhog#search=%22Negative%20impact%20praise%22&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is link to summary of the research on praise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although most of us believe praise is a positive way to get children to improve their behavior/performance while improving self esteem and motivation, a summary of the research reveals that praise can actually reduce self-motivation and cause children to become dependent upon rewards. Praise may be useful in motivating children to learn by rote, but it may actually discourage problem solving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Effective praise requires careful thought. Following are a few suggestions indicated from research. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Focus on Effort&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be Specific&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be Honest&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer Intermittent Praise&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't use rewards&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on research, the most important aspect of praise is giving it appropriately.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-14T00:51:40.517" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3175" CreationDate="2011-10-14T01:54:46.107" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Praise is a wonderful motivator as long as the praise is for the &quot;right&quot; things. it is not so good to praise something that is inherent to the child - telling a child they are pretty, brilliant, etc. are ineffective and often can lead to conceit. However, praise can be extremely effective for helping children realize desired behaviors. Children are naturally pleasers when they are young. They seek approval of adults, and done carefully and thoughtfully, praise can help the child develop a sense of what the desired behaviors. Praise for effort is always key, but also increased praise for when the effort has resulted in truly reaching the goal. Example: I am so proud you worked hard to learn your spelling words would be appropriate regardless of the outcome, where as I am so proud you worked so hard to learn your spelling words and see how it really paid off with your great score. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be aware though, children are amazing lie detectors and will know if you are praising them without sincerity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-10-14T01:54:46.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3180" CreationDate="2011-10-14T06:11:46.200" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;No. In fact the packaging on my tamper resistant outlets specifically say NOT to use them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-10-14T17:15:33.867" LastActivityDate="2011-10-14T17:15:33.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3184" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3208" CreationDate="2011-10-14T16:11:49.537" Score="25" ViewCount="6193" Body="&lt;p&gt;Several of my good friends, including my best friend, are gay/lesbian/queer. All of them have told me that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coming_out&quot;&gt;coming out&lt;/a&gt; was one of the most emotional and difficult things they've ever had to do. Their parents' reactions ranged from shock and vulgar ignorance (&quot;You mean you like to do it in each others' [censored]?&quot;) to rejection to loving acceptance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should a parent react when their child comes out to them? Obviously some reactions are more positive than others, and ideally all parents would love and accept their child as they are, for the person that they are. However, not all parents &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do that -- this is the case I'd like to address as much as possible. What should a parent do after the initial shock has worn off? How can a parent prepare (as much as anyone can) for what could be a very surprising conversation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to request an emphasis on professional opinions and cited studies &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;in addition to&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; personal experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="1324" LastEditDate="2011-10-15T13:50:16.887" LastActivityDate="2020-11-24T07:37:06.867" Title="How should a parent react when their child comes out of the closet to them?" Tags="|teen|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3186" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3191" CreationDate="2011-10-15T05:17:47.180" Score="7" ViewCount="241" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been told by various people that babies need vitamin supplements, because &quot;My doctor said so.&quot; This seems counterintuitive. Shouldn't formula or breastmilk have all of the nutrients that a baby needs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1570" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-10-16T15:42:34.047" LastActivityDate="2011-10-21T20:16:00.737" Title="Are vitamin supplements necessary for newborns?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|nutrition|formula|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3187" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3189" CreationDate="2011-10-15T07:01:01.863" Score="36" ViewCount="3985" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up eating in front of the TV, watching kids programs, while my parents and, much elder, brother watched news or quiz programs in the neighboring room. On Weekends we all ate around the same table. I don't remember any conflicts arising from this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, when my own family eat together, my seven year old son gets distracted by the TV and sometime doesn't eat all, which in many cases leads to a conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My contention is that if he is hungry he will eat and it would be better to be careful with snacks between meals. My wife's contention is that the TV is distracting and antisocial and it would be better to eat with the TV off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what is the consensus regarding Television at meal times?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1732" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-07-30T15:00:27.760" LastActivityDate="2020-07-30T15:00:27.760" Title="Is Television appropriate for meal times?" Tags="|eating|television|mealtime|screen-time|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3187" CreationDate="2011-10-15T08:06:33.003" Score="68" Body="&lt;p&gt;My opinion and experience is that &lt;strong&gt;television provides much more disruption than benefit:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My experience is that if the television is on, then everybody is &quot;glued to the screen&quot; or at least thoroughly distracted. This prevents social interaction, and it also prevents you from really appreciating the food you're eating -- potentially leading to eating disorders/obesity (because when you don't pay attention to what you're eating, you're actually &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ajcn.org/content/93/2/308.abstract&quot;&gt;eating &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;), but more likely leading to the cook rightly feeling unappreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mealtimes are not just for filling up on food, it is at least as much an important social event. Just because this event happens a few times each day doesn't make it less important. This is an opportunity for the family to get together, regardless of what other activities and obligations fill the day. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mealtime is a good time to discuss matters relevant to the entire family. You might have some big ongoing concern or exciting family project. Or you can do an informal round-table interview to learn what everybody is up to.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's also a opportunity to teach younger children proper table manners; something that, if missed, can create embarrassing or disastrous situations in public or at guest events.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For these reasons, the &lt;em&gt;general rule&lt;/em&gt; should be &quot;no television during meals.&quot; But any good rule must allow exceptions. If there is a very special movie on, or if there are important news, or (insert your family's criteria here), then announce an exception to the rule and thoroughly &lt;strong&gt;enjoy the privilege&lt;/strong&gt; of watching television while eating. To enforce this rule, make sure that the family knows the general rule &lt;em&gt;as well as the exception criteria.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-10-15T20:17:49.600" LastActivityDate="2011-10-15T20:17:49.600" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3018" CreationDate="2011-10-15T13:44:58.347" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;After extensive research trying to locate information on criteria for selecting pacifiers for use with my patients, I found the following from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1600940161&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Food Chaining: The Proven 6 Step Plan to Stop Picky Eating, Solve Feeding Problems, and Expand Your Child's Diet&quot;&lt;/a&gt;. This team of physician, speech language pathologists, dietician, lactation consultants, and oral feeding specialist present internationally and are considered leading specialist in their field. Here is a quote regarding pacifiers from their book. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When choosing a pacifier for your baby, look for one that is similar in shape to a bottle nipple. A long and narrow-shaped pacifier will encourage correct tongue placement, tongue grooving and cheek-muscle activation when your baby is sucking. A pacifier that is too short will not provide your baby with enough input to her tongue. Her tongue may actually get caught behind the nipple, which will result in poor sucking. A pacifier that is wide and flat will encourage your baby's tongue to flatten rather than groove and cup. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It appears that selection of a pacifier should consider your child's oral motor skills as well as oral motor developmental patterns. Children can develop good oral motor skills no matter the design of the pacifier, however, the pacifier can be a tool that supports or interferes with development of oral motor skills. This is especially important for premature, low tone children and ones with feeding difficulties early in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since most children learn to eat and talk, we sometimes fail to recognize that the foundation of these skills is established in the earliest stage.  Selection of nipples and pacifiers will establish oral motor patterns that can impact a child for many years and even throughout their life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-15T13:44:58.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3186" CreationDate="2011-10-15T15:07:18.303" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In most cases, breast milk or formula provides just about everything a baby needs for the first four to six months. The exception is vitamin D, which is recommended as a supplement for breastfed babies and babies who drink less than 32 ounces of formula per day per &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_does-my-baby-need-to-take-vitamins_9154.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Baby Center&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-15T15:07:18.303" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3192" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3193" CreationDate="2011-10-15T15:39:35.203" Score="2" ViewCount="294" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for ideas for an educational toy for a 4-year-old girl. What factors should I look for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1734" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-10-15T19:30:20.207" LastActivityDate="2017-12-21T05:36:16.420" Title="What makes for a good pre-schooler educational toy?" Tags="|education|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3192" CreationDate="2011-10-15T19:50:00.520" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I'll try to answer, although the question might get rephrased:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to take several factors into account. Consider these aspects, and they might help you narrow down your quest into something that is specific enough that you can search for items on Amazon and read some reviews.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is the goal you want to achieve with this toy? Do you want to train the alphabet, or numerical skills, or musical abilities, or body control, etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is the level of interaction you're looking for? Should it be wooden building-blocks, or should it be a laptop-style kid's computer or other electrical/digital device?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How should your daughter use the toy? Should she be able to figure it all out herself, or are you planning to act as a guide and playmate?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps a small easel or blackboard is the thing. I think it encourages artistic play. I've also seen lots of wannabe-laptops for kids which I personally wouldn't buy, but obviously many people do. You could even be very advanced and get the child a small &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; laptop (a netbook costs around €250 these days) with childrens' programs on it (I think Ubuntu is a Linux flavor that is very well suited for this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do encourage you to clarify your question - perhaps this is way off the mark.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/vqyuP.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/h84o3.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-10-15T19:50:00.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3194" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3197" CreationDate="2011-10-16T02:49:07.857" Score="7" ViewCount="174356" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4-month-old baby regularly sleeps for 10+ hours at night. I know this isn't normal (and we feel pretty blessed for it), but is it okay? Are there any health problems or downsides to this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1570" LastActivityDate="2019-12-06T10:30:19.560" Title="Is it okay for an infant to sleep 10-12 hours at night?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3194" CreationDate="2011-10-16T03:11:36.580" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were told by our pediatrician that before 2 weeks, you shouldn't let your baby sleep for too long.  After that, enjoy your blessing of a full night's sleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-10-16T03:11:36.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3194" CreationDate="2011-10-16T19:49:43.423" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/sleep.htm&quot;&gt;KidsHealth.org&lt;/a&gt;, growth spurts are listed as a reason for increase in sleep patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Most infants, when going through a growth spurt (usually around the ages of 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, and 4 months), will nurse or want a bottle more often, and may even sleep less throughout the day. But most babies will sleep noticeably more (overall) during these growth periods because of the intense need to conserve energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/sleep-problems/faqs-about-sleep-problems/sleeps-too-much&quot;&gt;Dr. Sears&lt;/a&gt; explains how excessive sleep can deprive a child of what is needed to thrive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But it's possible for excessive sleep to keep an infant from thriving. &quot;Thriving&quot; means more than just getting bigger, it means that your baby is developing to his fullest potential; physically, mentally, and emotionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Babies are born with attachment-promoting behaviors (e.g. crying) that cue their caregivers to the quantity and quality of touch and feeding they need in order to thrive. Infants who sleep too much may not initiate interaction, so you have to do it (as you've been doing when you wake him up to feed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We suggest that you continue to schedule your baby's feedings at least every three hours during the day, but let him wake you at night. Be sure to have him weighed frequently by your doctor to be sure he is gaining enough weight . Because they are not demanding babies, heavy sleepers often do not get enough to eat. This is why you are wise to take charge of the feeding routine and continue to awaken your baby for meals every three hours during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In addition to insuring that your baby gets adequate food, it's also important to make sure he gets enough touch. Demanding babies often cry if somebody doesn't hold them, but easy babies often sleep right through potential holding times. One way to address this is to wear your baby around the house in a baby sling at least a couple hours a day to provide touch and stimulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that his concerns are valid and are worth considering. Otherwise, enjoy your easy keeper!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-16T19:49:43.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3199" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3201" CreationDate="2011-10-17T06:56:48.467" Score="14" ViewCount="6289" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crying is a newborn's favorite activity. They cry whenever they feel hungry, unsafe, or uncomfortable.&#xA;But sometimes I prefer to not respond to crying as quickly as possible, in order to teach my newborn to be patient for what he wants.&#xA;Can I teach my newborn to be patient in this way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any physical/biological development happening when babies cry? &#xA;Please share any good reference about this topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:26:26.813" LastActivityDate="2011-12-18T02:26:26.813" Title="Is there any benefit to not responding immediately to a crying infant?" Tags="|infant|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3199" CreationDate="2011-10-17T11:41:56.417" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Newborns are really totally helpless and completely rely on their parents for all their needs. They usually only cry if they have some need to be satisfied (hunger, diaper, sleep, or even company). &lt;strong&gt;Don't let your newborn cry without reason.&lt;/strong&gt; Newborns and infants cannot learn patience the way you seem to indicate, and letting them cry for too long might negatively affect their psyche. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2433/should-i-respond-to-fussing-the-same-as-crying-in-an-infant&quot;&gt;This related question&lt;/a&gt; explains that there is a difference between mild &quot;fussing&quot; and all-out &quot;crying&quot;. The general consensus is that mild fussing can be ignored, but if the baby is actually crying then it means that you as a parent should attend to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there are situations when you can't immediately attend to the child, e.g. while driving a car, or during a shower or bathroom visit. Don't panic in these situations, but simply take the soonest opportunity you can. On the other hand, don't deliberately delay your attention in an effort to teach the child some patience -- they are too young to learn that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please also see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/crying&quot;&gt;these other questions related to crying&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-10-17T11:41:56.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3199" CreationDate="2011-10-17T11:50:08.153" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;Newborns cry because they need attention. Rather than learning patience, research indicates that not responding to their cry increases their cortisol levels as well as placing a child at risk for poor emotional attachment with adults. There is also the risk that your child is in pain or sick and needs your prompt attention. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/apr/21/leaving-baby-to-cry-brain-development-damage&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is an article that further presents this information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child grows, they develop different cries that parents can identify as fussy or attention seeking verses more serious demands for attention. Until that time, a caregiver needs to respond to a newborn's cry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-17T11:50:08.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3194" CreationDate="2011-10-17T17:52:25.790" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost 6 months and she sleeps 11-12 hours at night in addition to one 45 minute nap in the morning and a 2-2 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon. The more they sleep, the better they sleep and the more active they will be during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1739" LastActivityDate="2011-10-17T17:52:25.790" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3180" CreationDate="2011-10-18T04:16:01.003" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the scariest moments we've had with our daughter came from the use of outlet covers. Our daughter managed to pry one of the covers off and proceeded to put them in her mouth. I caught her just as she was trying to jam the saliva coated outlet cover back into the socket.  If you ever go the outlet cover route, make sure they are nearly people-proof instead of just baby-proof!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1634" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T04:16:01.003" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3199" CreationDate="2011-10-18T05:23:28.447" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Newborns and infants, no.  Crying at that age is nothing more than a response to unpleasant stimulus.  When the child cries, something needs to be done ... food/change/blanket/etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That does not mean that the response must be frantic or panicked. A couple of minutes of crying, while (initially) tough to take, isn't going to cause any harm. When the cry for the 2am feeding wakes you up, it's OK to take a moment to put on your robe and slippers and wash your hands. Pay attention, you will quickly learn what the various different cries mean and will be able to respond accordingly. You will know when you need to rush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found with my daughter that talking to her once we heard the crying (&quot;It's OK kiddo, Dad's coming&quot;) would sometimes blunt the intensity of the crying for a moment or two while the response comes. Even infants have good brains and will learn that your voice will be followed by fixing of the problem. It took a few weeks for the pattern to kick in. This was particularly true for the baby startled awake by a strange noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside .. some friends have a small dog who took to sleeping in the baby's room, and would come wake them up a few minutes before the baby awoke for the night feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T05:23:28.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3187" CreationDate="2011-10-18T05:39:28.490" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a no TV rule during meals when we gather. It is not the only rule around meal gatherings. Proper clothing is required; no bathing suits or dirty clothes allowed. Good manners are expected, including participation in the prayers and conversation. Every one stays at the table until everyone is done. No handheld games or electronic devices, including phones. If there is an ongoing conflict, we do our best to not bring it to the table. Attendance is mandatory, even if one is not eating. And so forth. The rules apply to everyone, not just children. My phone goes off as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meal gatherings are time for the family and guests to pay attention to each other, not for TV or other distractions. That is still true now, when our daughter visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T05:39:28.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2011-10-18T05:57:25.647" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;BOTH!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Driving is difficult, particularly when one is just learning, and is exceptionally dangerous. The likelihood of your being better able to teach it than someone who does so for a living is virtually zero. Even if not required by your jurisdiction, get professional training that includes supervised time behind the wheel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take the time and find a good driver training school. There is loads of information available about the schools on the internet. Go see the local police and ask for recommendations.  Ask your insurance company for recommendations.  Find the best school you can, because it might end up saving lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was learning to drive we enrolled her in a school that employs California Highway Patrol officers. It was a tremendous experience for her. Three years later, she still remembers the lessons, uses her mirrors properly, and is very defensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But my wife and I also spent a lot of time in the car with her driving. We spent at least 20 hours with her for every hour she was in driver training. We reinforced what she learned in driver training, and when we were comfortable, we allowed her to get her license.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2011-10-18T06:05:14.650" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T06:05:14.650" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3175" CreationDate="2011-10-18T06:27:39.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the praise is legit, it as absolutely fine to praise the kid to the parent within earshot of the parent. You can make both of them feel great. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the praise isn't legit, then you just look like a moron to the kid and the parents, assuming the parents are past the phase of their child being the greatest child ever created.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's say you are at a dinner party, and the host's son plays the piano piece he is practicing for his recital next week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good praise&lt;br&gt;&#xA;* &quot;Johnny has improved so much since the last time I was here.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;* &quot;Johnny plays that piece better than I ever did at his age.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;* &quot;Thanks for playing; I enjoyed it.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bad praise&lt;br&gt;&#xA;* &quot;Wow, Johnny must be the most talented kid in his class!&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, grandparents are excepted from this rule. They are expected to be overflowing with praise, as well as with gifts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T06:27:39.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3184" CreationDate="2011-10-18T13:56:34.563" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found the suggestions on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drjenna.net/articles/coping-when-your-child-comes-out-as-gay-lesbian-bisexual-or-transgendered/&quot;&gt;this website&lt;/a&gt; to be helpful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be sure your child knows you love him or her.A parent’s first response&#xA;  should be to remind their child that you are there for them, and love&#xA;  them, and support them. “I love you, you’re my kid,” &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reaffirm your values. If you do not feel that teens should have sex with other&#xA;  teens, this is still your value, and you should still guide your child&#xA;  as their parent. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;If you have made anti-gay statements, it is time to&#xA;  be a good model. Acknowledge that you have a prejudice. Discuss the&#xA;  need to treat all humans with respect and dignity. Discuss the need&#xA;  for tolerance. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Remember that children will also have questions. They&#xA;  have not lived in the world as a sexual being, and will benefit from a&#xA;  parents’ willingness to talk openly and to ask questions. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Adolescents worry about being accepted–whether it is because they are not good at&#xA;  or interested in sports and this is something their parents value, if&#xA;  it is because they are not good students, and this is something their&#xA;  parents value, or whether it is because they are homosexual, children&#xA;  need to be reassured that they will be loved by their parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Re-examine your assumptions. A parent of a child who’s just come out&#xA;  may think may worry that they may never have grandchildren, for&#xA;  example, and this is not necessarily true. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get support. One of the best resources is &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&amp;amp;srcid=-2&quot;&gt;Parents, Friends, and Families of Lesbians and Gays&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Protect your child. Because of the social stigma that homosexuality still carries,&#xA;  the risk of suicide in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered youth &#xA;  is much higher. Parents can  help by doing the same things they would&#xA;  do if their child was straight. Have a connection with them, find them&#xA;  support, make sure they are able to feel safe and loved in their home.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you believe that homosexuality is fundamentally wrong, then&#xA;  remember these other values:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Hatred  is not a value, and your child is still your child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Treat others as you wish to be treated. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Seek the support of a trusted mentor or support group. Find out how other parents have managed to cope with&#xA;  their child’s sexuality when it conflicts with their beliefs. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Remember that your child has done things in the past that you disapproved of,&#xA;  and you still loved them. As a parent, it is your responsibility to&#xA;  let them know that though you disapprove of homsexuality, you still&#xA;  love your child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;There is nothing that you need to DO about this. You&#xA;  will need some time to process the shock. Many parents are surprised&#xA;  to learn that their children are homosexual–because it is simply not&#xA;  as common as having a child who is heterosexual.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=539&quot;&gt;PFLAG&lt;/a&gt; (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) also has this advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The first thing you should do for yourself and your loved one is to talk to someone who has been through this process. ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The second thing you should do is educate yourself.  ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T13:56:34.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3209" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3214" CreationDate="2011-10-18T15:42:32.553" Score="12" ViewCount="4983" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old son is generally very well behaved and plays well with others.  However, he just wont sit still when we need him to.  He is good at staying still when he is focused on something, but as soon as he isn't stimulated enough he is off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I don't want to stifle his personality, and force him to stay at heel like a well trained dog, yet we want to be able to encourage him to sit down quietly when required, respond to direction, and not make simple tasks like getting dressed in the morning into a stressful event where I have to chase him down.  Shopping trips, church services, train rides and story time are all sources of stress at the moment.  Perhaps we are being unrealistic, and it is just his nature, but it seems like his peers are able to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he has only just turned three, we have almost a year before he starts school, and we want to do the best for him so that he can thrive in a school environment.  What are some techniques we can use that will encourage him to remain by our side when asked, and to sit down quietly when the situation requires it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="910" LastEditorUserId="910" LastEditDate="2011-10-20T00:09:35.540" LastActivityDate="2023-08-15T08:26:21.320" Title="How can I help my child to stay still?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3209" CreationDate="2011-10-18T15:58:48.467" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;3 years old is a bit young for a diagnosis, but it sounds like this might be ADHD or a related issue. (My wife has the same problem = it's a hereditary condition. My dad gave it to me, I gave it to my kids). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, you really can't diagnose it properly for a few years yet, but you could start looking into behavior modification options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind ADHD isn't necessarily a detriment...it's just a different way of being. Unfortunately, a lot of us live in a society where ADHD doesn't always fit in, so one needs to look at other options (behavior modification, various medications, change of routine, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A simple solution to try and start with would be to try and introduce routine and schedules. Create a daily schedule with large icons. Draw a picture of clothes, then a picture of food, and explain that &quot;It's now getting dressed time&quot; and when that's finished, you and your child can update the schedule together &quot;It's now breakfast time!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ADDers thrive on rigid schedules and kind of fall apart when left to our own devices...oh look...SQUIRREL!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T15:58:48.467" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3211" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-18T20:37:00.007" Score="15" ViewCount="23998" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2.5-year-old son. It happens mostly when tired but I'll ask him if he wants something and he will say no. Then when I go to put it away or do something else, he freaks out that he wants it. Then when I take it out again, he'll shout that he doesn't want it. And this continues until I stop. I realize that like most everything it's probably a phase but I'm just not sure of the best way to react to it. I'm looking for anyone who might have had experience with an indecisive toddler. Do you have creative ideas of ways to handle it without making us both crazy - suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1183" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-31T12:37:10.453" LastActivityDate="2019-05-31T12:40:29.997" Title="How to react to an indecisive 2.5-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|parents|tantrums|focus|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3211" CreationDate="2011-10-18T21:12:41.923" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend asking questions in a way that doesn't require a yes or no answer. Instead of &quot;Do you want milk?&quot; ask &quot;Would you like your milk in the blue or red cup?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1571" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T21:12:41.923" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3211" CreationDate="2011-10-18T22:54:21.830" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young children often are overwhelmed with options, especially when tired. When you allow him to change his mind, you are actually creating more options for him. I would suggest that you allow him to choose and make that decision final. He does not have to accept it, but his options are limited to take it as you selected, or do without. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially, he will likely &quot;lose it&quot;, but if you remain consistent, this phase will pass more quickly. The challenge will be to not reward the protesting behavior. Be matter of fact and follow through with his decision. He will learn to value his choices and your limits and both of you will be happier!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T22:54:21.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3209" CreationDate="2011-10-18T23:31:07.353" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The general rule of thumb is that a child's attention span should be one minute for each year of age. So, 3 minutes is acceptable for a 3 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds as if his need to move is the biggest problem for you. It is interesting that brained based research indicates that movement actually maximizes learning so our model of sit and learn is likely not the best strategy. However, creating ways to move while being in a small space may be beneficial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some strategies that I have used. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have him sit on a ball positioned inside a ring that keeps it from rolling, a small inflated pool ring, or a small inner tube. The ability to wiggle and yet stay in place gives many children the vestibular input they crave while confining them to a limited space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deep pressure can also give proprioceptive feedback that is calming for other children. Placing heavy books (phone books from large cities work great) in backpacks or require heavy work such as moving heavier objects from one place to another are calming activities. Of course, the books and objects should not be too heavy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Others can sit more calmly when bunched tightly getting great proprioceptive input. Holding in your lap curling knees to chest and giving deep hugs is calming position for many. This is similar to swaddling but only using your arms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children will be calmer after swinging, jumping, running, or rough housing. These activities also give deep proprioceptive input that the nervous system needs for optimal attending and sitting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, a supportive chair matched to the child's size is beneficial. Arms on the chair should give support for the upper body. The depth of seat should match the child's size from hip to knees and the feet should touch the floor for stability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, having a bag of fidgets may help keep his interest. These toys should allow pulling, twisting, or biting and give cool sensations while holding in the hand. Putty, gak and sensory toys that squish, stretch, vibrate with a unique texture are calming to many.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might get other ideas from researching information regarding sensory integration strategies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-18T23:31:07.353" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3184" CreationDate="2011-10-19T04:45:00.680" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people believe that homosexual behavior is a sin. How are those people to react when their child, who they love deeply and want the best for, says in essence, that they are committed to sinfulness? It is kind of flip to just presume that the parents need to get over it. The tone of the question presumes that which ought not to be presumed: that it is OK for the child to be homosexual. For some parents, it is not OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I am a pragmatist and a realist. Reacting negatively will not make it better, no matter what better is. And like it or not, your child is your child, and needs you to love even when you don't agree. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which brings me to the best answer I can come up with to the question directed especially at those parents who are not be comfortable with the idea of their child being gay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The parents should not react with strong negative emotion, despite any inclination to do so. The child already knows what the parents think. The stronger the parents' innate disapproval, the more courage required by the child. That should be honored and respected, even if the choice is disheartening.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The parents must respect and accept whoever the child loves.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The parents must do everything possible to &quot;love the sinner&quot; even if they &quot;hate the sin&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The parents must not start the discussion about it being a phase, or being a choice, or about something that can be cured. They may believe that, but it can't be brought up at any time during the &quot;coming out&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1920" LastEditDate="2012-09-19T16:37:32.580" LastActivityDate="2012-09-19T16:37:32.580" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3211" CreationDate="2011-10-19T04:53:04.407" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would you be concerned with the mind changing if he wasn't shouting and/or misbehaving?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be concerned with the indecisiveness ... be concerned with the acting out and inappropriate behavior. If he changes his mind, but expresses it calmly and doesn't throw a tantrum, good for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apply consequences for the shouting and the persistent lack of compliance. Don't worry about the decision making for another year or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-31T12:37:49.367" LastActivityDate="2019-05-31T12:37:49.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2433" CreationDate="2011-10-19T05:00:28.433" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Should I treat fussing the same as crying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let the kid fuss.  Over time, you may be able to pay some attention and learn when the fussing will become crying, and what might happen that settles the kid down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The three immediate outcomes are crying, continued fussing, and settling down. The eventual outcomes are crying or settling down.  If you respond, you don't let the kid settle down.  Why not give the kid a chance to figure that out independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-19T05:00:28.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3219" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-19T22:40:36.773" Score="2" ViewCount="80" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2528/what-home-safety-aspects-should-new-parents-consider&quot;&gt;What home-safety aspects should new parents consider?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am aware of the following sources of information. Is there anything else I should do to prevent accidents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_childproofing-around-the-house_460.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_childproofing-around-the-house_460.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2808/how-do-you-childproof-electrical-cords&quot;&gt;How do you childproof electrical cords?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2924/what-can-i-do-to-baby-proof-my-home-entertainment-system&quot;&gt;What can I do to baby-proof my home entertainment system?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1749" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-10-19T22:40:36.773" Title="How to child-proof my home for a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2011-10-20T12:38:46.043" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3220" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3223" CreationDate="2011-10-20T03:17:48.317" Score="11" ViewCount="89847" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 22-month old boy who is currently an only child. He's a very smart, outgoing child  who has never shown any sort of developmental issues. He enjoys books and music, has an amazing memory, and is speaking in long phrases and sentences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both I and my wife work full time, and until recently our child spent his weekdays with his grandma. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of our nearby relatives have kids in his age range, and he hasn't had that much interaction with children his age. We've tried a couple baby/toddler groups through the local school district, and he's encountered children in public places like the park and play areas with some frequency. We're friends with another couple who has a daughter a couple months younger, but we only see them one evening every month or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, grandma decided to go back to work full-time. We put our child in a home daycare with a woman who takes care of her own son and one other boy (18 months and 24 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been almost two weeks now, and he doesn't seem to be adjusting. Our provider says he appears anxious during much of the day. He watches the other boys, but never really interacts or plays with them. She tells us that keeping music on does help him relax somewhat, but he's still very clingy to adults, and he tends to cry if left alone with the other two boys, even for a moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this certainly seems attributable to being abruptly put in this new situation with new people, but it is a tad worrying to me (and our daycare provider is clearly concerned).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How worried should I be? Should I just continue to give him time to adjust? Should we be actively seeking more opportunities to have him interact with kids? Do I need to discuss this with our pediatrician?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="598" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-10-24T23:36:36.240" LastActivityDate="2018-10-18T18:58:09.483" Title="Should I be concerned that my two-year-old doesn't interact with kids his age?" Tags="|toddler|development|social-development|daycare|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3220" CreationDate="2011-10-20T06:38:10.280" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can imagine that he's feeling uneasy at being moved from his grandma and dropped into full-time daycare that abruptly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, you'd start daycare just a few hours a day and gradually increase to full time. &#xA;I understand that with evebody working full-time as well, it's hard or impossible to provide a transition phase. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think two weeks is not enough time for him to adjust to this big change in his life. &#xA;Give it some more time, and try to provide extra attention whenever you can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-10-20T06:38:10.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3220" CreationDate="2011-10-20T14:47:17.003" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think its also proper to set expectations, many 2 year olds while they &quot;play&quot; tend to do so in parallel not with a lot of interaction.  So you may want to be careful in what you expect, so you don't see something that is not there.  Significant change is also something to aware of, as Torben notes, and will definitely influence young children who have sudden shifts in schedule.  Maybe you or your wife sit with him after drop off to help him adjust, so he knows you are there and make him more comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise look for local playgroups, or activities in the local library or your local rec-hall to try and meet other local parents so you can get more interaction and have some more meetups with children his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-10-20T14:47:17.003" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2011-10-20T22:51:46.527" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a teacher and a recently back to work mom, I think there are more cons than pros. I know that many feel that there are many pros, but my experience is that by and large, your child will care more about time with you rather than money and things from you. I know when I think about my childhood I think about the time my mother took with each of us every day individually to talk to us about our day. I do not remember the trips and activities we did not do. I recall that my mother was room mom at school and girl scout leader and was there if I needed to call her in the middle of the school day.&#xA;I have only returned to work on a temporary basis while we settle some finances so I can stay home. I firmly believe that giving up material possessions and vacations, etc. is absolutely worth the time I can give our daughter by staying at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a teacher, I have noticed that it is an ever increasing trend that neither parent is home with their children after school. While it is true this leads to more independence, I have also noticed that it leads to more problems with completing homework, and making good choices with the time they are on their own, particularly as they get older. I am not saying that all children that have working parents make bad choices, but I think it is a major pitfall as children get older. My mom always told me that anyone can adequately care for a baby, it is when they get older that it is important to be present to guide them to the morals and standards you want them to have, helping them to become the individuals you want them to become. I for one want to make sure I am having a greatest impact in my child's development, rather than a hired caregiver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-10-20T22:51:46.527" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3199" CreationDate="2011-10-21T02:31:56.713" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you fail to respond to your crying newborn all they learn is that you are unreliable, not to be patient. Crying is not a pass time, the baby is not just crying to cry as others have mentioned. In addition to getting the physical needs that have prompted the crying met, the baby is learning to depend on you to meet their needs and respond appropriately. If repeatedly the baby is not responded to, the child learns you are not to be trusted to meet their basic needs. Although, it seems that all an infant does is cry, soon enough they will be able to express themselves more fully, in the interim, make sure you infant feels safe, loved, and cared for above all else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-10-21T02:31:56.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3085" CreationDate="2011-10-21T04:30:53.747" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Using physical discipline for negative reinforcement is, in my book, bad parenting, and this is what &quot;hot saucing&quot; amounts to. Not to mention, it is cruel. Imagine if I told you about a husband who did this to his wife - that if she said something he disapproved of he held open her mouth and put a drop or two of hot sauce on her tongue - what would be your reaction then? I know that children are not adults, but they are human beings and as human beings they deserve to be treated fairly and humanely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given a child swearing, say, I think a much better approach would be to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Calmly explain to the child that the word they used is an impolite word and should not be spoken, that saying that word makes other people upset and uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the child continues to use the swear word, explain that there are consequences for using such language. Use your judgment here, but maybe explain that if the child swears he cannot play with his favorite toy or he has to go to bed early, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the child swears again make sure to follow through with the consequences laid out. If the consequences don't seem to deter the child, try new ones until you find ones that work.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using the above accomplishes the ultimate goal - teaching the child that swearing is inappropriate and that there are consequences for inappropriate behavior - while maintaining his dignity and his human rights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="40" LastActivityDate="2011-10-21T04:30:53.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3154" CreationDate="2011-10-21T18:01:30.160" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was out of nappies around 3 months before his 3rd birthday, and he certainly wasn't the earliest among his peers.  It would seem to be the norm here in the UK for kids to be toilet trained by 3, and is usually a pre-requisite for attending nursery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still asks for his bottom to be wiped every now and again though, and isn't great at washing his hands, but other than when he gets overly upset, he hasn't had any problems with soiling himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you think your child might have a specific issue, in which case I would advise you to get that looked into.  If you find there is a medical reason, I am sure explaining the situation to your kindergarten teacher will make a world of difference.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my experience, age is certainly not the primary reason for your child still being in nappies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="910" LastActivityDate="2011-10-21T18:01:30.160" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3186" CreationDate="2011-10-21T20:16:00.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll start off by saying this answer isn't complete, and addresses breastmilk rather than formula.  Most breastfeeding advocates are reluctant to say that breastfed babies need any additional supplements, claiming that breastmilk was designed to be the only thing a baby ate, and that if babies needed more of a certain vitamin, then breastmilk would &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; more of that vitamin. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/vitamins/vitamin-d.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Kellymom&lt;/a&gt; makes a good summary of the anti-supplement arguments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here is what I've found:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;A severe lack of vitamin D can cause rickets, which is a condition most common in children from 3 months to 15 months.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;People (including babies) are spending less time in the sun, leading to more cases of vitamin D deficiency.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Vitamin D is better absorbed through the skin than through the gastrointestinal tract.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Kellymom sites a study that I can't find, saying that for Caucasian babies, less than 5 minutes of day in a diaper in the sun produces enough vitamin D, while for darker skinned babies, that number could be 3 to 6 times higher.  (However, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;122/5/1142&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AAP&lt;/a&gt; says that since the amount of sun is dependent on so many different variables, there is no way to say how much is enough.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here is what I haven't found:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;How much sun exposure is dangerous to babies?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;How much sun is needed for non-Caucasian babies to produce vitamin D?  (I've seen numbers ranging from 3 to 10 times as much as Caucasian babies.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Most importantly, can a baby get enough sun to make vitamin D without increasing their risk for skin cancer later in life?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-10-21T20:16:00.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3229" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3233" CreationDate="2011-10-22T08:53:03.827" Score="18" ViewCount="2184" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently our 2.5 daughter started being really annoying about doing simple daily things, like brushing her teeth, dressing, undressing, putting on shoes to go out, etc. Often we need to negotiate up to 20mins to get her to put her shoes to go out, even though we are going to a place she really wants to go and will enjoy (e.g. playground). She would say NO, lie on the floor, cry when we actually try to put the shoes on and take them off if we are successful, etc. Its just unbearable anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried the obvious things, like letting her choose between two options, but she would always pick a third option (which is usually inappropriate) or just says she will NOT do it and cries. Its much worse when we are at home rather than anywhere else, but still it does happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-10-25T02:04:39.967" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T18:05:38.017" Title="How can I negotiate with a toddler successfully?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1533" CreationDate="2011-10-22T12:56:51.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When the twins are first born and their footprints are made, these are one of your best guarantees of uniqueness.  These will also be a treasure for your children, so keep these and perhaps make new ones over time.  It takes a moment and it's much easier than stressing over how they are dressed or otherwise decorated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1369" LastActivityDate="2011-10-22T12:56:51.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3229" CreationDate="2011-10-22T13:27:18.793" Score="10" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try a different set of choices. &quot;Go in shoes X or not to go at all?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Invent extra positive reinforcements. As far as toothbrushing, we had one miraculosly happen (e.g. initiated by my oldest himself) - he wanted to always pour out the remaining water used for rinsing from the cup. So we always had a &quot;you get to pour out rinsing water from a cup if you brush well&quot; carrot.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At 2.5 she may be a bit too young, but try &quot;merit badges&quot; approach. She gets a specific badge (a star cutout) to put up in her room for doing a specific task (toothbrushing well) or for &quot;generally behaving well today&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As BBM said in a comment, one of the approaches is to try the power of consequences - at 2.5YO kids already understand them to a certain degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;If you don't get dressed by the time {CUTOFF TIME}, we are NOT going to playground because it will be closed&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;If you don't finish toothbrushing by X time, we won't have time for a bedtime story&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Important thing is to be consistent - if you promised to withhold X as consequence, 100% withhold it no matter how much of a tantrum she throws when she realizes she's not getting that story. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2011-10-22T13:27:18.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3220" CreationDate="2011-10-22T13:39:36.340" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Also, aside from the general considerations mentioned by MicharlF and Torben, it might also be that you have a typical geeky child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people are NEVER comfortable around new persons, at 2, 3, 4 or even 30. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our oldest didn't start being decently social until ~4 YO (he went to preschool at 3), and even now gets a bit shy around new kids. Which seems perfectly fine to me since I was that way in his age and STILL am exactly the same way. Might be some correllation betwen that and my reputation on StackOverflow and SciFi SE :))). Not everyone is born to be a social animal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One interesting indicator is how your child is around OLDER kids. Ours for some reason really liked playing with some 7-10 year old kids in our neighbourhood (thankfully they for some reason enjoyed playing with him once in a while).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One possible explanation (if he's OK with new adults but not kids) is that adults go out of their way to be nice/friendly to him, whereas other 2 year olds don't work that way. They may not necessarily be hostile, but the won't always TRY to be friendly/welcoming, and will possibly compete for toys. That's why older 7-10 year olds are a good test - they are already old enough to eliminate &quot;not-old-enough-to-be-nice&quot; factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2011-10-22T13:39:36.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3229" CreationDate="2011-10-22T16:12:36.303" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;It appears that she values control which can be a positive trait is trained properly. Children are egocentric and at times seem to thrive on being center stage while manipulating parents as puppets. The challenge for you is to not be controlled by her behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Attention adds energy to their efforts. Removing/limiting your attention takes away much of her motivation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offering choices as described above is an appropriate method for empowering her and filling her need for control in her world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consequences add boundaries for her control. If she refuses the choices given, then she is choosing the consequence. It may be that the trip is canceled, an immediate return home, or time out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to allow her to proceed with her decision (if it does not endanger her) and let her experience the consequences. For example, go to the park or at least car with no shoes on. When she complains, then offer the shoes that you chose and without her knowledge brought with you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Removing the battle and becoming indifferent to her protest will take away much of the incentive for her protest. Remove yourself from her presence, ignore acting out behavior, and do not give eye contact or any response (unless she endangers herself). When she pursues you, remind her that when she has done (fill in desired action) you will respond and not before. Total indifference is the key. She can choose her action, but she will not get your attention until she acts in the manner that you want to reward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This works especially well if there is another child who is behaving. Immediately give that child your attention stating verbally, &quot;I like the way you are (appropriate action)&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You attention is the greatest reward a child craves. Negative or positive they thrive on it. You must call attention to her appropriate behavior continuously. As parents we often just expect the appropriate and react only to the inappropriate. A child craving attention quickly learns that I get more of what I want when I am inappropriate. I challenge you to &quot;catch&quot; and comment describing the desired behavior continuously and ignore the inappropriate to turn her thinking around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-22T16:12:36.303" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-23T03:12:03.243" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's important to distinguish between &lt;em&gt;Intrinsic&lt;/em&gt; (natural) consequences and &lt;em&gt;extrinsic&lt;/em&gt; (artificial) reward/punishment. And it's important to understand why they aren't complying. Imagine if you said &quot;OK fly!&quot; and they didn't so you said &quot;here's a bunch of candy, OK? Now ...Fly!&quot;. It's often more productive to figure out why they aren't complying and address that root cause, rather than trying to &quot;motivate&quot; them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Extrinsic Rewards/Punishments are often viewed as coercive. And resisted&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;In the real world if they are late for the bus, there's a consequence: they miss it and must walk to school. If they study really hard, are organized and take good notes, they'll get better grades. If they practice for the speech they have to give, they'll do better. Those are &lt;strong&gt;natural consequences&lt;/strong&gt;. An emotionally adjusted person won't &quot;fight&quot; this or complain about it. They realize &quot;you can't argue with gravity&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But... if you try to &lt;em&gt;coerce&lt;/em&gt; them with punishments and rewards, a typical person will see this as a &lt;em&gt;battle&lt;/em&gt;. They see that you're trying to coerce them. And they will often resist. Or (worse) become more interested in the extrinsic reward/punishment as it &lt;em&gt;extinguishes&lt;/em&gt; the internal motivation. So, now instead of practicing soccer for the natural consequence (getting better, winning, etc.) they do it for the $10 you offered them. And pretty soon they're more interested in the $10 than the soccer practice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The solution is not easy&lt;/strong&gt;: you have to find the natural consequences of their actions and merely highlight them. And you may often find it easier to &lt;em&gt;facilitate&lt;/em&gt; rather than coerce. For example, if you're trying to get them to go potty the first time rather than trying to bribe them (although I think it &lt;em&gt;would&lt;/em&gt; be OK to bribe that first time) instead find out what the issue is. I mean, do they &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; like the feel of pooping their pants? They may need to sit on the potty for 30 minutes before having success. That's boring. They don't like it. So address &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; issue and facilitate the potty training by finding something fun for them to do (my wife had our kids listen to books on tape). The beauty here is that this is a natural reward: you're not &quot;bribing them&quot; you're addressing the fact that sit'n on the pot is boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more on this I highly recommend Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1602" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T17:24:28.970" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:24:28.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3235" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-23T21:08:48.807" Score="3" ViewCount="493" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's probably a well known fact that younger kids tend to ape their older siblings. Generally it's possible to handle in variety of ways and isn't that big of a deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way where I'd like some input is the following situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Older sibling say something hurts or has some illness symptoms (e.g. say his throat hurts, etc...). It's a legitimate complaint.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Younger one immediately apes this by saying her throat hurts as well. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a problem, because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Being a sore throat, it is kind of difficult to verify. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Being a pair of kids in preschool, we can't simply ignore her complaint since they DO quite frequently catch assorted illnesses simultaneously.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She is one of those kids who LIKES &quot;while sick&quot; treatment in general - our &quot;cold/flu&quot; diet is something she likes, she WANTS to be given medicine (don't ask), she LOVES going to our pediatrician. So the usual approach (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2557/how-can-i-handle-a-child-that-claims-medical-problems-as-a-bad-excuse&quot;&gt;recently discussed in a separate question about faked illnesses by schoolchild&lt;/a&gt;) don't seem to work &lt;strong&gt;at all&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;While she can generally be reasoned with, this situation is something she listens to our explanations and proceeds to behave as usual, no matter what the reasons, punishment, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T18:58:14.000" Title="What are the best approaches to dealing with 3-year-old's copying of older sibling's illness symptoms?" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3235" CreationDate="2011-10-23T21:45:56.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son did this for a little while.  It was a lot easier for us to spot the fake because he was mimicking his older sister's cerebral palsy symptoms, but the solution is still the same.  Just deny her the rewards of the lie.  Kids that age can't keep up the pretense for very long if they are missing out on things they enjoy.  Since the act is all for your benefit, just observe her when she thinks you aren't watching if you're worried about her really being sick.   She's not going to die if a sore throat goes untreated for a few hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-10-23T21:45:56.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3237" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-24T09:43:47.213" Score="4" ViewCount="43094" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've started feeding our baby rice cereal. I try to make small amounts and make more if he needs it, but sometimes I make too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that once you've prepared rice cereal (mixed it with breast milk), you can't really put it in the fridge and save it. But is it ok to save it for an hour or two? (I just tried to feed him and he wasn't hungry. He'll probably be hungry in about an hour or so. Can I save it till then?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2017-08-24T10:08:32.913" LastActivityDate="2017-08-24T10:08:32.913" Title="Can I save rice cereal for a baby for short periods of time?" Tags="|infant|solids|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3235" CreationDate="2011-10-24T12:49:46.807" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It appears that your daughter, like most children (and adults for that matter) like attention. She likely mimics her brother's illness because he is getting attention which is needed and she wants in on the action. A solution would be to find a way that his illness gets her more attention because she is well along with ignoring her &quot;sick/fake&quot; behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When brother is sick, award her a special position as &quot;nurse&quot; or &quot;mommy's assistant&quot;. Put an apron on her, allow her to help you fix his meals, or be in charge of watching an alarm for timing his meds, Maybe even calling a family member and reporting of his status periodically could be her assignment. Anything that will put her front and center with your direct attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If her &quot;symptoms&quot; present, state that you were hoping that she would be able to help you (fill in creative activity) but she can't if she is sick too. Then explain how busy you will be for  a while and  promptly &quot;disappear&quot; while she is assigned to bed rest. Suggest that if she gets to feeling better she could come help you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be important to award her special attention at the time that her brother's illness is discovered before her fake symptoms appear if possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-24T12:49:46.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3229" CreationDate="2011-10-24T17:01:00.977" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Negotiation is a good thing; it is the grease that makes the gears of the world run smoothly. We don't want to discourage it. However, children must be taught that there are times when negotiating is OK and times when it isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The easiest way to do this is to give commands (&quot;Say good bye, we are leaving now.&quot;) when no negotiation is to be accepted and to ask questions (&quot;Are you ready to leave?&quot;) when negotiation is allowed. This construction can even be used for alternatives. &quot;You may have juice or water, please pick one&quot; is a command and the child picks one or gets nothing. &quot;Would you like juice or water?&quot; is a question, so the child asking for milk or soda is OK, as is the parent responding negatively and offering another alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be clear and intentional with this .. toddlers cannot read our minds and aren't good with subtle context differences. The kid should not be expected to know that &quot;Are you ready to leave?&quot; really means &quot;Say goodbye, we are leaving now.&quot;. If you meant command, but spoke question, then apologize and rephrase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a command is given, apply consequences for disobedience or defiance.  When the command is not given, and the child negotiates, do not apply consequences and negotiate back. If the child stops negotiating and starts demanding or being unreasonable, make the decision and issue a command. If on the other hand a negotiated settlement is reached, honor it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-24T17:01:00.977" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3240" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-24T18:52:36.097" Score="7" ViewCount="2256" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been too tired to get up every 2-3 hrs to nurse, so I've been sleeping with him attached to my breast... Unfortunately I can't sleep well. What should I do? He doesn't burp well either, and spits up a lot. I'm afraid of him choking on his spit-up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1760" LastEditorUserId="1320" LastEditDate="2011-10-24T23:42:46.103" LastActivityDate="2011-11-07T16:04:09.140" Title="What should I do about my 3 month old baby wanting to nurse all night?" Tags="|infant|sleep|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3240" CreationDate="2011-10-24T20:49:50.060" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hate to be that person, but.. Get up every few hours. If it's an option, make sure your partner is getting up with the child, doing the changing, burping, etc so you can focus on feeding and sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that your child is snacking all night isn't worrying in itself - they'll do that, if the food is available. But if you worry about him spitting up while you sleep or you just aren't sleeping well, changing routine is the only practical answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, just remember - it gets easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastActivityDate="2011-10-24T20:49:50.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3240" CreationDate="2011-10-24T21:56:22.310" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems like you have two problems here: having to nurse frequently during the night, and a fear that your child might choke on spit up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Saiboogu's answer to the first part.  It's hard, I know.  Try and get naps during the day while he sleeps, and enlist any help you need from your partner.  This phase of his life won't last long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as spitting up goes, if your baby has actually been choking on his spit up, I suggest you talk to a doctor about it, because that could be dangerous.  If you're simply &lt;em&gt;worried&lt;/em&gt; that he might choke while he sleeps on his back, then you don't have to worry.  On page 11 of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildcare.org/pdf/Afternoon09.pdf&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; PDF, the AAP says they didn't see any increased chance of choking on spit-up for babies who slept on their backs vs. babies who slept on their stomachs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-10-24T23:51:13.340" LastActivityDate="2011-10-24T23:51:13.340" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3237" CreationDate="2011-10-24T23:01:17.153" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would treat it like breastmilk, myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/recommendations/handling_breastmilk.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;usual guidelines&lt;/a&gt; for how long you can keep breastmilk out at room temperature.  Most sources say it's okay for up to 6 hours, if your house isn't too warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-10-24T23:01:17.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3244" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3245" CreationDate="2011-10-25T17:24:50.633" Score="9" ViewCount="1220" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 10-year-old has ADD. He's on medication, which helps with focus, but isn't a cure-all, of course. I have ADD and my dad has ADD. I'm guessing his dad did too. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood and while I was an excellent student, I despised writing assignments. I enjoyed the creative process, but struggled with the whole issue of starting, planning, organizing and following through. This lasted all the way through into college where any writing assignment would inevitably be done at 2am the morning of. I still have this problem as an adult (I write software and &lt;strong&gt;hate&lt;/strong&gt; documentation...much to the chagrin of my coworkers ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I'm watching my son go through the same frustrations. He &lt;strong&gt;loves&lt;/strong&gt; reading but having to write a report on the book is torture. We're working on ways to help with this. We're encouraging copious note taking, baby step writing (simple outlines, then add sentences, etc.) and leveraging the computer as much as we can (typing is easier than handwriting for him). We're also working with his teacher and looking at perhaps getting a tutor. If nothing else, just having someone there to tell him to do step 1 before step 2 can be a big help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I'd like to ask if any of you have gone through this and, if so, have you found any useful strategies to help with this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-26T13:14:50.437" LastActivityDate="2019-11-11T13:09:50.827" Title="How to help a 10-year-old, who has ADD, with writing assignments?" Tags="|education|middle-childhood|adhd|homework|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3244" CreationDate="2011-10-25T20:27:03.817" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/4027.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;ADDitude Magazine&lt;/a&gt;, there are multiple things that one can do to help children with ADD write things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the classroom:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set up a note system.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start small and build skills.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Demonstrate essay-writing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give writing prompts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage colourful descriptions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain the writing process.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allow enough time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't grade early work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't deduct points for poor handwriting or grammar.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a graphic organizer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Grade limited essay elements.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Exchange journals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Assist with essay topic selection.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brainstorm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stock up on books, movies, and games.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be your child's &amp;quot;scribe&amp;quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go digital.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remind your child to proofread.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tech solutions include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Portable word processor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speech-recognition software.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Word-prediction software.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Electronic spell-checkers and dictionaries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.addinschool.com/elementary/performance.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;ADD In School.com&lt;/a&gt; also adds:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In assignments that require research reports and creative writing, have the student dictate the words to someone rather than writing it down. The ADD ADHD student can then copy the words using the word processor. This technique will yield greater output on tasks requiring expressive written language skills by removing the written component.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assignments that require extensive fine motor skills are difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give seat work one sheet at a time, if possible. This will prevent your ADD ADHD student from feeling overwhelmed. This is also a helpful technique in testing him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as an addendum for those of us who are terrible procrastinators in life: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/8030.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;get into the habit of writing&lt;/a&gt; daily. Not only does it allow you the ability to reflect and analyze your own behavior in a not-talking-to-yourself in circles kind of way, but it also serves as a means to improve your writing. For better or for worse, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.itlist.com/5-more-ways-to-improve-your-writing-part-iii/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;the more you write, the better your writing&lt;/a&gt;. This is true for fiction, nonfiction, technical, and academic writing alike. It sucks, it's hard, but it's the single most important thing you can do to keep your writing skills up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking from my own experience, I started a blog in 2004. Since then, I've found my typing speed to be higher ('cause I often have to churn out a 2,000-word entry in less time than I'd like to be spending on it) and my quality of writing has improved significantly. Writing and keeping a regular blog has allowed me the ability to monologue -- that is, talk aloud to myself -- in a &amp;quot;silent&amp;quot; manner. Certainly, now, when I reflect back on my life, not only do I remember things from a year ago, two years ago, or even two &lt;em&gt;weeks&lt;/em&gt; ago better, but it's also nice to sometimes go back to, oh, 2007 and relive a few months of my life. Either way, having to tell stories chronologically, in a way that makes sense, has spilled over into all of my writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Full disclosure: I'm not diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, and I was a serial procrastinator. I was/am also an avid reader, which helps the caliber and quality of one's writing, in my humble opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-10-25T20:27:03.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3246" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-10-26T03:50:31.650" Score="10" ViewCount="84670" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10-month-old daughter. She just keeps on saying &quot;er...er...er&quot; but never pronounces &quot;b&quot;, &quot;p&quot;, &quot;m&quot;, &quot;f&quot; etc. in words. We are already talking to her always and showing her slowly how to pronounce &quot;mama&quot; (with the mouth shape), but it still doesn't help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think by the age of 8-10 months, children are able to pronounce simple sounds like &quot;mama&quot;, &quot;baba&quot;, &quot;papa&quot; etc., although they might not know their meaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? What should I do? How can I help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1772" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-21T12:29:02.120" LastActivityDate="2019-08-21T12:29:02.120" Title="Should I be concerned about my 10-month-old still not knowing how to pronouce words, just saying &quot;er...er....er...&quot; instead?" Tags="|infant|communication|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3246" CreationDate="2011-10-26T04:41:08.520" Score="5" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't panic. Children develop at different rates, and 10 months is very young. &lt;a href=&quot;http://healthland.time.com/2011/07/04/is-your-toddler-slow-to-talk-dont-worry-study-says/&quot;&gt;There's no immediate cause for concern.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't force. Why put pressure on a 10 month old to perform? My investigation into this suggests that she's still a little young for you to expect her to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.utexas.edu/features/archive/2005/babble.html&quot;&gt;pronounce recognizable words&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2011-10-26T04:41:08.520" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3246" CreationDate="2011-10-26T10:27:21.240" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my three was making lots of sounds at that age, one didn't make much noise at all until she was nearly two (and she is now the chattiest wee thing ever).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children vary - I wouldn't be worrying at all yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-10-26T10:27:21.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3249" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3337" CreationDate="2011-10-26T13:18:23.633" Score="6" ViewCount="3591" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is two and testing his boundaries.  In general, I'm comfortable with that and have no problem with him getting frustrated when he's not allowed to do something.  Unfortunately, his normal mode of expressing his frustration is running his head into something.  When he was younger he used to line up his head very carefully with the tile floor and then drop it as hard as he could.  He gave that up after 10 or so times.  Since then he tends to find the closest wall and run his head into it.  Just one time, then he holds his head and is pathetic for a few seconds until he finds something else to do.  I'm a little more concerned now though, he's bigger and faster and keeps clipping his head on door knobs.  This morning he came close to knocking himself out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how to &quot;fix&quot; this.  We've been exercising the &quot;ignore it&quot; method, and it keeps the tantrums to a bare minimum (generally a few seconds).  I'm open to play acting and possibly teaching him a more constructive way to be frustrated, but I'm unsure how to simulate frustration.  Any suggestions for more constructive ways to express frustration are welcome as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt; :  I fear I've overstated the symptoms a bit.  This isn't your classic head banging tantrum, he has never repeated the action within the same sitting or for the same reason.  He attempts it once.  If he is restrained he will generally throw himself into a laying position for 30 seconds and then go about his business.  If he hits his head, he realizes it hurts, and doesn't get the reaction he wants, and stops.  My concern is primarily that the life of a two year old is full of frustration and this is sometimes his reaction.  I don't think I can train a two year old to suppress his frustration, instead I would like a way to redirect his emotion into an expression that's less potentially harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have discussed this with his pediatrician before (the tile thing was quite scary), and her attitude was primarily that he could not hurt himself (at that age) and would learn to stop doing it - which is at least partially true.  It may even be the case that the accidental door knob to the temple this morning will set him straight on the dangers of running into walls as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's not self-destructive in other ways and he doesn't seem to be doing it for attention (as he doesn't get any from it).  If the frequency is important, I'd say I'm aware of him intentionally trying to hit his head approx 3 dozen times in the last 18 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastEditorUserId="1729" LastEditDate="2011-10-27T02:51:24.983" LastActivityDate="2017-03-17T02:47:01.910" Title="How do I teach my child to express his frustration?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|tantrums|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3246" CreationDate="2011-10-26T13:29:46.493" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your baby is right where she needs to be.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normal babies start reaching language milestones at a fairly wide range of ages.  Some babies may hit some milestones early, and others late.  You may have reason for concern if your child misses several milestones, but it doesn't sound like that is the case with your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The language milestones are typically grouped into &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infant-development/AN01026&quot;&gt;age ranges&lt;/a&gt;, and are usually phrased &quot;by the time the child reaches the end of this age range, they should be able to...&quot;.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://speech-language-therapy.com/devel2.htm&quot;&gt;7-12 months&lt;/a&gt; is an age range that is usually defined as one in which most children will start using their first words, but that means they &lt;em&gt;usually&lt;/em&gt; start using their first words &lt;em&gt;by the time they are 12 months old&lt;/em&gt;.  You've still got 2 months to go before you miss than milestone, and even if you do miss it, it isn't necessarily a problem.  You don't have to worry about a baby not saying their first words &lt;a href=&quot;http://linguistlist.org/ask-ling/lang-acq.cfm#worry&quot;&gt;until they are 18 months old, and even then some children don't speak until they are two&lt;/a&gt;.  However, it can never hurt to check with your pediatrician earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typical language milestones children &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; reach by the end of 12 months:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;By the end of 12 months, your child may:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Try to imitate words &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Say a few words, such as &quot;dada,&quot; &quot;mama&quot; and&#xA;  &quot;uh-oh&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Understand simple instructions, such as &quot;Please drink your&#xA;  milk&quot; &#xA;  Understand &quot;no&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Turn and look in the direction of sounds&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that it says &quot;your child may&quot;, and not &quot;your child should&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A more &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/pages/speechandlanguage.aspx&quot;&gt;thorough checklist&lt;/a&gt; of hearing and language milestones for age 7-12 months:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Enjoys playing peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turns and looks in the direction of sounds&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Listens when spoken to&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Understands words for common items such as “cup,” “shoe,” or “juice”&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Responds to requests (“Come here” or “Want more?”)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Babbles using long and short groups of sounds (“tata, upup, bibibi”)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Babbles to get and keep attention&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Communicates using gestures such as waving or holding up arms&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Imitates different speech sounds&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has one or two words (“Hi,” “dog,” “Dada,” or “Mama”) by first birthday&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being delayed on one or two of these milestones is probably not cause for concern, but if you find that your child is missing 3 or more, I'd definitely check with your pediatrician, just to be safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-10-26T13:29:46.493" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3251" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3252" CreationDate="2011-10-26T13:29:52.640" Score="1" ViewCount="4460" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are in a situation where we need to choose between &lt;strong&gt;ballet classes&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;swimming classes&lt;/strong&gt; for our 4-year old girl. Problem is that we cannot afford both of them. We need to choose one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, she loves and asks for both. She has been having swimming lessons since the age of 6 months but she hasn't taken any ballet lessons until now (but she loves dancing and listening to ballet music while in the house and she always speaks to me about it). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby is a bit of an introvert, so I guess having ballet classes with other children would help her express feelings and emotions among other people and feel more confident about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, swimming is good for physical development and in some way I will feel safer when going on vacations by the sea. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sure that there are much more skills developed by each activity and I would happy to learn some of them so I can make a more suitable choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would you suggest? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1666" LastEditorUserId="1666" LastEditDate="2011-10-29T19:38:26.927" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T18:34:25.627" Title="Are Ballet or Swimming lessons more suitable for our girl?" Tags="|activities|sports|swimming|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3251" CreationDate="2011-10-26T13:39:42.700" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your daughter has been taking swimming lessons for the past three and a half years, then is it safe to assume she can swim safely in at least one type of stroke on her own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, then I'd be inclined to suggest ballet lessons, while checking your area to see if there are free or affordable swimming pools that you might have access to.  Some areas have community pools that are quite cheap, or even free, and some of the less affordable pools may offer discounted days for local area residents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While access to a pool isn't as good as swimming lessons, you can work with your daughter directly to provide supervised swimming &lt;em&gt;practice&lt;/em&gt;, which is still good for physical development and safety, as well as improving her confidence in the water and being (hopefully!) &lt;em&gt;fun&lt;/em&gt;.  All without sacrificing the option of ballet lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-10-26T13:39:42.700" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3251" CreationDate="2011-10-26T14:06:14.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My youngest also likes both activities, but what decided us was that ballet was so much more expensive than swimming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She now does swimming, and is on the waiting list for Tae Kwondo (this is just because her siblings both compete in TKD so it makes sense to get them all in - less journeys)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us it comes down to cost - how many different activities can we get them into at this age without breaking the bank. Later on they can decide which ones they want to focus on, if any, but we feel we need to give them exposure to a wide range so they can gain some experience of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-10-26T14:06:14.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3249" CreationDate="2011-10-26T14:07:53.073" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Due to the fact that this can have serious consequences I'd definitely suggest you go to visit a behavioural psychologist to get the best advice here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most frustration indicators are just annoying to have to put up with, but this can lead to head injuries so should be treated by a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-10-26T14:07:53.073" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3251" CreationDate="2011-10-26T14:28:20.760" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In reality I think it's going to be up to you to know for sure what works best for yourself and your child.  There are probably alternatives to many of these, but if cost is an issue and you look for cheaper alternatives you do tend to get what you pay for.  Some of the things I've heard about ballet (my cousin was a ballet-dad and his daughter teaches at a local ballet company school) is that it's not all that personally expressive after awhile.  Higher prestige schools do tend to be competitive, especially if the school participates in a yearly recital, where some students try to get the &quot;prestige parts&quot;.  Parents add into this but for young kids, my cousins daughter teaches 3-5 year olds, some parents helicopter over their kids and demand attention for their child and others think of it as babysitting time.  As in most things, look carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a specific choice you can ask your daughter, if she could only have one what would it be?  Sometimes 4 year olds know what they want, most times not, but I like to at least get my kids input and see what they want.  Swimming is good full body physical development, although I have seen ballet have good results for poise, posture and other benefits as a full body, aerobic exercise.  It's not as good as swimming obviously, but it's no slouch either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't decide, make a list with your child and wife and go over the pros and cons of each and see what you come up with.  Involving the child is also a good precursor for helping solve family issues with input, never hurts to start them young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-10-26T14:28:20.760" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3251" CreationDate="2011-10-26T18:52:35.707" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter did ballet classes for a few years, starting form the age of 4. The reasons we chose ballet was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she had a interest in it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she was a &quot;girly&quot; girl&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she had a bit of a discipline issue, we thought that starting ballet&#xA;would prepare her for the discipline of school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though we live in Australia (where swimming is the second religion after football) we did not do swimming classes because it is taught in schools and we have been told that at that age it does not help that much - if the child falls into a pool they will just sink. Take that with a grain of salt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She really enjoyed the ballet classes though found the teacher to be too strict. She was never going to be a ballerina but we did not care since she was learning how to learn, she enjoyed it and it was a source of pride for her. Personally, I hated all the pomp and ceremony but that was probably just our class. Eventually she did not want to continue because she didn't like the teacher. By then, she had started school and was a few years older so we enrolled her in karate classes to maintain the discipline. Soon after, she also started basketball so she could learn a team sport. She is now ten and still enjoying both karate and basketball and is a good swimmer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: ballet provided her with skills beyond twirling in a pink tutu. Caveat emptor: it is expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-10-26T18:52:35.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3251" CreationDate="2011-10-27T00:08:03.963" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have to pick between the two, switch to ballet. At this point she should be a good enough swimmer to save her life if necessary, and should not need further lessons unless she is going to compete. And swimming skills can be developed enough for future fun just be getting her into the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW .. when your daughter gets older (perhaps 8),  try &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_polo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Water Polo&lt;/a&gt;! It is a great sport for fitness/conditioning, teamwork, and physical and mental toughness.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-27T00:08:03.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3249" CreationDate="2011-10-27T01:41:46.130" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This cannot be allowed to continue.&lt;/strong&gt; His head is still big and heavy relative to his body, and his brain is developing. That he hits his head hard enough to get groggy is not a good sign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I officiate high school water polo and youth soccer. If we see an athlete get groggy or lethargic after any form of contact to the head, the game stops and the athlete is removed and examined by a medical professional. We (the officials) are encouraged to be overly cautious in this area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The next time he hits his head even slightly hard, whether intentional or accidental, take him to the doctor or urgent care.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back to the question.  There are two possible things going on here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1/ He has figured out a behavior that gets a rise from you or that gets him what he wants. Did (or do) people laugh at it? Does it cause you to stop punishment or give in to demands?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2/ He has some form of underlying illness or condition that is prompting the head banging. It could be a lot of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that whatever reinforcement he might be getting stops, and apply negative consequences when he behaves dangerously. The consequences should be harsh; given the dangerous nature of whacking one's head against hard objects, you don't want to wait long to figure out if it worked. Be angry. You want to instill fear, because this behavior needs to stop. This is one of those things (like running into the street) where absolute compliance is the only option. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to have figured out the pattern; pay close attention, intervene &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; the head hits what it is being aimed at, and punish him for the attempt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't get him to stop, even if you are successful at intervening before the actual head contact, go see a doctor. Don't wait long; perhaps three or four more occurrences. I would be inclined to start with a neurologist, although &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3249/how-do-i-teach-my-child-to-express-his-frustration/3254#3254&quot;&gt;Rory's suggestion&lt;/a&gt; of a behavioral psychologist seems sensible as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2011-10-27T01:41:46.130" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3246" CreationDate="2011-10-27T13:04:55.657" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my sons talked later, about 15 months or so before we got recognizable mama or baba, with our experience it's because they are learning Chinese Mandarin and English at the same time.  They are both pretty fluent, both boys understood much of what we said in either language even when they did not speak.  I don't know if adding in some sign language helps or hurts here, we did it with our first with success and our second did well with it, since we were waiting for talking they picked this up quickly and it became a way for them to communicate with us.  Still waiting for my 18 month old to really talk, although he is adding in some single words now and again - mostly Chinese at this point - but the oldest has more than made up for the late talking by now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-10-27T13:04:55.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3261" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3262" CreationDate="2011-10-27T13:47:48.637" Score="18" ViewCount="16116" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby currently has a cold which means her nose is streaming with snot.&#xA;She is quite unhappy with us wiping it away with a tissue every few minutes. I can imagine her upper lip is getting quite sore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best, most comfortable, way to clear this snot away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-02T14:20:56.840" LastActivityDate="2019-07-03T13:48:32.937" Title="What's the best way to extract baby snot?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3261" CreationDate="2011-10-27T14:06:03.877" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some sort of basic &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-use-a-bulb-syringe-or-nasal-aspirator-to-clear-a-stuf_482.bc&quot;&gt;nasal aspirator&lt;/a&gt; is what you are looking for.  The one pictured in that article is very similar to the one that our hospital gave us as part of the newborn care package.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I have heard great things about &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00171WXII&quot;&gt;Nosefrida's appropriately-named 'The Snotsucker'&lt;/a&gt;.  It seems to address the issues we've had using the simple bulb, as it is much easier to clean, and apparently does not require sticking it up the child's nostril (our son absolutely hated that part).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-10-27T14:06:03.877" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3261" CreationDate="2011-10-27T15:06:11.757" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife uses a combination of a nasal aspirator with a combination of nasal saline.  Works like a charm with our baby.  Just put the saline in, wait a few seconds, then suck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1774" LastActivityDate="2011-10-27T15:06:11.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3261" CreationDate="2011-10-27T16:52:11.843" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found that the bulb aspirator wasn't strong enough.  We used an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.target.com/p/NasalClear-Nasal-Aspirator-BR140/-/A-10387113&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;electric aspirator&lt;/a&gt;.  They run around $20, so it is much more expensive than the bulb-style aspirator, but it worked much better.  It makes a pretty loud motor noise, but that actually distracts our baby and stops her from crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-10-27T16:52:11.843" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3244" CreationDate="2011-10-28T00:29:06.703" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I would &lt;strong&gt;stop talking about ADD&lt;/strong&gt;. It is what it is. All you do by talking about it is prime everyone for failure.  I am not saying it doesn't exist, or that it isn't relevant. I am saying that nothing can be done about it, so move on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As much as folks would like to think otherwise, and as much as some are trying to legislate otherwise, the world isn't particularly forgiving. &lt;em&gt;&quot;Sorry boss, I didn't get the presentation done because of my ADD.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; does not fly any more than &lt;em&gt;&quot;Sorry boss, I didn't get the presentation done because of Monday Night Football.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first question I would ask is what has worked for you to help you manage? Work with your child to implement those things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having struggled with attention span and focus issues throughout my life, here are some strategies I have found helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** Manage distractions. Today, that means turn off the TV, cell phone and internet. I have found the program called &lt;a href=&quot;http://macfreedom.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Freedom&lt;/a&gt; helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** Use the clock. Focusing for 3 hours is impossible. Focusing for 20 minutes at a time is doable. Define a time frame, and when it has expired, take a short (1-2 minute) break tp reset the attention timer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** Work on planning .. this has the effect of breaking a bit (daunting) task into small manageable tasks. Finishing a task has the effect of &quot;resetting&quot; the attention timer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** Specifically, teach a writing &quot;process&quot; ... idea generation, outline, introduction, topic sentences for each paragraph, finish paragraphs, conclusion worked for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** Exercise and activity. For some reason, when I exercise regularly, I can focus better, and when I am busy, I am able to focus better during the times I have available for my tasks. Not immediately before trying to write, however! Develop an exercise routine with your son.  Walk the dog after dinner, or take a run in the morning. Get him into sports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I reiterate my first point. Stop making excuses; they don't help. You are a perfect example of why they aren't needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-10-28T00:29:06.703" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3261" CreationDate="2011-10-28T07:45:04.477" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The manual aspirators didn't work at all for us, so we switched to a vacuum cleaner attached model.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes it sounds horrible but they are perfectly safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only know German models so here is one model with an English description on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/NASAL-ASPIRATOR-Angel-Vac-doctors-recommended-/140413518703&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;eBay&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From our experience they work very well but our daughter didn't like it at all but it was the only way to clear the nose and give her a good night's sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1650" LastActivityDate="2011-10-28T07:45:04.477" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3251" CreationDate="2011-10-28T21:34:47.957" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider is her developmental needs.  How does she do socially in comparison to how she is in terms of gross motor skills?  Your and her efforts would be better suited to find something fun to cultivate anything on which she could improve.  With my experiences as an assistant in a preschool classroom, children vary greatly in that regard.  If you're sure, talk to her pediatrician or teacher to see if they've done any formal/informal assessments of their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1781" LastActivityDate="2011-10-28T21:34:47.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3249" CreationDate="2011-10-28T21:53:46.013" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the things that helped my students and helps my kids is an &quot;alone corner&quot;, a soft, squishy spot where they can have a meltdown and not get hurt or bothered.  This might not be a good solution for the long-term, but it may minimize injury until you can get some professional insight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you considered using sign language?  Talking can be difficult for toddlers, and a lot of frustration can stem from not being able to express themselves.  &quot;Angry&quot; might be a good word to use: palms up, parallel to the floor, &quot;grab&quot; the air a few inches from your face and drag it down.  Ask him if he feels angry and make the sign.  If he gets the hang of it, you might be able to get him to express himself better while redirecting his focus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1781" LastActivityDate="2011-10-28T21:53:46.013" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3269" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3271" CreationDate="2011-10-29T01:35:32.267" Score="3" ViewCount="687" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, when do you all think it's too old for a child to go trick or treating? I'm just trying to figure out when that age would be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2017-03-16T05:13:56.373" Title="When is it too old to go Trick or Treating?" Tags="|age-appropriate|holidays|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2011-10-29T03:35:44.617" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 13 and I'm the same way. It's a medical condition called 'Selective Mutism'. I've been to several people and even been put on medicine and it hasn't helped. But my parents and I are trying. We've recently learned not to pressure them to talk or little things like that. My teachers would give me a mini whiteboard to write my answer down or I would write it on a piece of paper. Try to ask her only yes or no questions like 'Is this what you want?'. Some SM (Selective Mute) people will not nod, make eye contact, write answers down,etc.. However some people including me WILL make eye contact, nod, and write their answers down. Try not to yell at her for not talking. It's hard (even for the student). I went to regular school from pre-K - 5th grade. I used to worry about what they all would think about me. I felt nervous (more nervous than most people do) standing in the lunch line, walking down the hall, in the front of the class, even outside with my friends. I talk at home - a lot. But I will not talk in public. It's not that we don't want to, it's that we can't make ourselves, no matter how hard we try. We often get panic attacks also. I am homeschooled now because I got kicked out of regular school because of my Selective Mutism. My mom just told them I was shy so after 4th and 5th without talking (to them) they said I couldn't come back so my mom blamed me. However she should have told them about my condition and they might have understood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really can't explain anything else because it's kinda hard but here is a link to a website that is really helpful and I hope I helped a tiny bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://theselectivemutism.info/symptoms-of-selective-mutism/index.php&quot;&gt;http://theselectivemutism.info/symptoms-of-selective-mutism/index.php&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If none of these answers worked try searching for 'Selective Mutism'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1782" LastEditorUserId="984" LastEditDate="2013-10-08T17:44:03.823" LastActivityDate="2013-10-08T17:44:03.823" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3269" CreationDate="2011-10-29T16:14:24.127" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use Hallowe'en as a way to encourage artistic expression in my children. As they grow older, I continue to encourage them to dress-up and I model this by accompanying them in costume. However, as they grow older, the focus changes from them being the ones asking for candy to them creating more elaborate costumes and being chaperones for the little ones who do the asking, and if the resident is generous with them too, bonus! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older the children are, the more effort I expect in their costumes. How often do you see works of art paraded to your door? Teenagers who present themselves as skateboarders are asked to do tricks or are turned away with the suggestion that they try harder next year. Other times, because teenagers are often the ones who knock later, my kids get to answer the door and see the kinds of costumes and transformational make-up masterpieces to which they can aspire. I do not have a problem trading candy to see that! Some kids don't even ask for anything, they just do their magic tricks or read their poems and wish us a happy Hallowe'en.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to answer your question, I think a person should stop going trick or treating when they no longer put age-appropriate effort into their costumes or when they aren't prepared to give something valuable in exchange for their treats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-10-29T16:14:24.127" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3251" CreationDate="2011-10-29T16:21:40.327" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your decision will ultimately reflect the reasons you are considering these activities. Given that they are both physical, and both have social elements, I would suggest you ask her.&#xA;Which one does she want to do? And if she changes her mind next year, so be it. It's good to try lots of things, find what you enjoy and do what you love. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That you are giving her the opportunity to consider her own preferences and participate in the decision making process is important, and I believe should be started early. If she can't decide, you helping her come to a decision will be a valuable exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-10-29T16:21:40.327" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3269" CreationDate="2011-10-29T21:53:45.587" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that a child will make it clear that they would rather go to a Halloween party than to trick or treating. Having seen engineers and artists, and artistic engineers, creating some fantastic costumes, I don't think that there's an upper age limit on Halloween - even the dead and undead can be found at such parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply put, I think your child will let you know when they don't want to do the same thing and want to do something different, such as a party, a haunted maze, or some other activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point, you might find it interesting to introduce them to something quite different, such as Dia de los Muertos or a Halloween-inspired organ performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1369" LastActivityDate="2011-10-29T21:53:45.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3246" CreationDate="2011-10-30T01:19:00.963" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a speech language pathologist, the general rule of thumb is one word is expected at 1 year of age. Some children have many words while some such as dual language learners may be weeks or months later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is not delayed in speaking words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speech development begins with a child cooing and babbling and moves on to jargon. These milestones are the prerequisites for words that follow. These stages are rich in learning how to produce a variety of sounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cooing stage is focused on learning how to produce sound at will. The first coos or squeals occur accidentally until purposeful control is gained. Vowels are generally the sounds that heard at this stage and are made with subtle changes in the movement of the tongue and opening of mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babbling introduces consonant-like sounds. These sounds also first occur by accident as the child closes their lips on mouthing toys or lifts their tongues to suck repeatedly. (By the way, &quot;mama&quot; is produced by mastering the lips closing with sound and &quot;dada&quot; from the tongue lifting.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, you can support your child's development at each stage by echoing your child's sounds to them. This is sometimes called &quot;baby talk&quot; or &quot;motherese&quot; and research indicates that this behavior by parents supports a child's speech development. The key is to model your child sounds and then expand them just a little to be only a small step ahead of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By imitating a child's sounds, you encourage them to repeat the sound again. This is the first step of learning to imitate. After they learn this game, you can then make simple changes and encourage them to copy you. Continue the process until they will try to imitate more difficult sounds and words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explore sounds by making the &quot;Indian sound&quot; while tapping the mouth or bouncing or tapping the lips with a toy while vocalizing (or even while crying). You can encourage the /b/ and /m/ sounds by lifting the chin to close the mouth while vocalizing (or even when crying). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making various sounds in mirror play helps children see what their mouth is doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important key is have fun. Enjoy this delightful stage of development. You have several months for your little one to continue to refine the development of sounds before single words are expected. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If no consonants are heard in the next few months, an evaluation by a speech language pathologist will give you more specific information regarding your child's development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-10-30T01:19:00.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3275" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3276" CreationDate="2011-10-30T01:46:49.587" Score="16" ViewCount="3037" Body="&lt;p&gt;What parameters (age/height/weight) should be considered when determining which type of car seat a child should use, or whether to use one at all?  When should they be allowed to sit in the front seat?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideal guidelines would fill in a table sort of like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;             | Infant Carrier |    Car Seat    |     Booster    |     No Seat    |    Front Seat  |&#xA;===================================================================================================&#xA;Age Range    |                |                |                |                |                |&#xA;---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&#xA;Height Range |                |                |                |                |                |&#xA;---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&#xA;Weight Range |                |                |                |                |                |&#xA;---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Citations of industry standards, publications, or laws would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S.:  I know some existing questions may cover certain aspects of this, but I don't think I've found total coverage of them all.  I'm hoping this can be an all-in-one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1785" LastEditorUserId="1785" LastEditDate="2011-10-30T01:57:57.123" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T21:16:22.603" Title="When should a child transition through the different car seats, to none, and to the front seat?" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3275" CreationDate="2011-10-30T06:46:32.267" Score="21" Body="&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;             | Infant Carrier  |   Convertible Seat    |    Car seat    |     Booster    |     No Seat    |    Front Seat  |&#xA;============================================================================================================================&#xA;Age Range    |  birth - 1 yr  |  birth - 2 yr (rear)   |    1 - 4 yr    |    4 - 10 yr   |   over 10 yr   |   over 13 yr   |&#xA;             |                | 1 yr - 10 yr (forward) |                |                |                |                |&#xA;----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&#xA;Height Range |   19 - 29 in.  |   19 - 36 in. (rear)   |   29 - 36 in   |   36 - 50 in   |   over 50 in   |      n/a       |&#xA;             |                |  34 - 53 in. (forward) |                |                |                |                |&#xA;----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&#xA;Weight Range |   5 - 22 lbs.  |    5 - 35 lbs (rear)   |   20 - 40 lbs  |   48 - 80 lbs  |  over 80 lbs   |      n/a       |&#xA;             |                |  20 - 65 lbs (forward) |                |                |                |                |&#xA;----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt; For rear-facing seats, the child's head must be at least one inch from the top of the car seat, regardless of other height limitations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt; For my purposes, a &quot;booster&quot; is a seat that raises the child so he can use an adult seat belt safely.&#xA;  &lt;li&gt; &quot;Convertible seat&quot; refers to a seat that can transition between being rear-facing and forward-facing.  They're popular enough that I though they deserved a column as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt; Where age was not specified, I estimated using an average height/weight &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/height-weight-teens.shtml&quot;&gt;chart&lt;/a&gt;, and using the more restrictive of height or weight.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infant_car_seat&quot;&gt;Wikipedia &quot;Infant Car Seat&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/carseat2011.htm&quot;&gt;AAP &quot;AAP Updates Recommendation on Car Seats&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.carseat-safety.com/convertibleseats.html&quot;&gt;CarSeatSafety.com &quot;Convertible Seats&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.carseat-safety.com/switchcarseats.html&quot;&gt;CarSeatSafety.com &quot;When To Switch&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/babies-kids/baby-toddler/convertible-car-seats/overview/convertible-car-seats-ov.htm&quot;&gt;Consumer Reports &quot;Convertible Car Seats&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-10-30T06:46:32.267" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="238" CreationDate="2011-10-31T00:20:53.820" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally, I would say when one of the children reaches puberty, they are too old to bathe together without their swimming trunks on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-10-31T00:20:53.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3269" CreationDate="2011-10-31T17:08:04.973" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a nice simple rule of thumb:&#xA;If they're old enough to do it by themselves (i.e. without an adult accompanying them) then they're too old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2011-10-31T17:08:04.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3229" CreationDate="2011-10-31T18:07:12.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1-2-3!!&lt;/strong&gt; When a choice fails or there is no choice then we resort to &quot;do it by the count of 3 or you'll be on the naughty-step&quot;. There's something about about the timer that just makes humans want to react and do something - like the phone ringing (I must answer it!!). Good luck!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2011-10-31T18:07:12.000" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3280" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3281" CreationDate="2011-10-31T18:15:58.303" Score="3" ViewCount="1734" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have the opposite problem to many people at this age.  Rather than having a fussy eater W will eat anything and everything put in front of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whilst that in itself isn't a problem, the, let's say, &quot;End Results&quot; are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nappies are very full and the results loose, but not loose enough to be of alarm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible that there is a food sensitivity, but first up we think that we're likely overfeeding him.  He's tall for age, but slim (50%) much like his parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much, and of what balance should we be feeding him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1651" LastActivityDate="2011-10-31T18:42:57.757" Title="How much should we be feeding a 13month old?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3280" CreationDate="2011-10-31T18:42:57.757" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, apparently most 13-month olds are really picky about their food. So hey, you have that blessing, at least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-13-month-old_5906.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;BabyCenter&lt;/a&gt; suggests keeping meals balanced:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Keep offering a variety of healthy foods at every meal. Resist the temptation to let him snack on sweets and other not-so-healthy items out of worry that he's not eating enough. As long as he appears to be thriving, he's probably fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/eating-basics/what-to-serve.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What to Expect&lt;/a&gt; offer this advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Find toddler foods that multitask.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Make drinks for toddlers for real.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Snack wisely.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Go for quality over quantity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Change things up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Ditch the distractions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Look at the big picture.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Get the facts on fats.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also suggestion &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/eating-basics/go-for-the-green.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;introducing a variety of veggies&lt;/a&gt; into his diet. Actually, What to Expect has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/eating-basics.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;whole section&lt;/a&gt; on toddler eating basics, as well as a a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-eating-and-nutrition-tips.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;road map&lt;/a&gt; to his feeding through to his second birthday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, What to Expect also points out that a toddler's stomach holds 2 cups of food max, which is rougly &lt;a href=&quot;http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2000/JonathanCheng.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;half the size of an adult stomach&lt;/a&gt;. Be mindful of this when you feed your wee one. Also, if he is, uhh, finishing out &quot;loose,&quot; maybe cut back on the fiber some? Otherwise, as long as you're staying balanced, and things don't seem wrong in the, uh, aftermath, I think it should be okay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One note: if he's really that loose, make sure he's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/diarrhea-directory&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;staying hydrated&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1324" LastActivityDate="2011-10-31T18:42:57.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3211" CreationDate="2011-11-01T13:19:52.240" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Marie has said you need to follow through on his initial choice so he learns the decision has a repercussion. The best thing after that is to redirect him to something else nice - like a story on your knee. I would also try and discourage the &quot;freaking out&quot; behaviour and ask him to calm down (nicely) and to say please. This way he'll learn to manage his emotions and express himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2011-11-01T13:19:52.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3261" CreationDate="2011-11-02T09:47:44.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hold her near a sink with running water and extract the snot with wet fingers. This is especially useful before sleep time as it will ease her falling asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1476" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T09:47:44.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3284" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3290" CreationDate="2011-11-02T11:14:50.403" Score="6" ViewCount="4032" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old who used to be on the 91st centile for height is now below the 50th and we think the gradual decline has been since he started not eating so well. We believe he only eats just enough food to keep him going because he wants to get down and play. He also eats quite slowly  compounded by his constant talking instead of eating! It's a constant battle to ask him to keep eating!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we feed him richer food to &quot;fatten him up&quot;? Should we let him eat as much cereal as he wants before bed regardless of how little dinner he ate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice welcome!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-11-03T13:06:30.083" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T02:21:22.250" Title="How do I get an easily distracted 5 year old to eat more?" Tags="|food|primary-schooler|eating|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3036" CreationDate="2011-11-02T11:20:30.520" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bribery and Rewards also work well in this area. You could have a sticker chart which when she has X stickers (5? 10?) she gets to go and buy sweets or a toy or something. Or she could have a sweet every time she uses the toilet/potty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T11:20:30.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3286" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3292" CreationDate="2011-11-02T12:41:32.277" Score="11" ViewCount="2392" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eldest is just getting to the age where she could start getting interested in typing things on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering whether to 'go the whole hog', and give her a keyboard with no letters on (probably a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jonlee.ca/how-to-diy-das-keyboard-using-a-model-m/&quot;&gt;homemade Das Keyboard&lt;/a&gt;), and a typing program right from the outset. But I'm not sure whether that might not just put her off completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if I just let her start out 'normally', she could just end up as a hunt-and-pecker who is 'good enough' to not make the effort to type properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you aware of any research or data points on this question? Failing that, do you have any experiences to recount?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2011-11-03T01:34:56.363" LastActivityDate="2018-10-16T18:41:09.257" Title="When and how should I teach my kids to touch-type?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3269" CreationDate="2011-11-02T13:15:28.470" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My view is they are too old, when they decide they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We get a wide range of kids, although we don't give candy away - neither my wife and I really like to encourage that sort of thing, more importantly we get a small amount of treaters due to the location of our street.  Buying candy means we'd eat most of it after, so we give away small decks of playing cards, or small containers of Play-Doh.  When I took my son out we saw quite a few teens out dressed up, some were imaginative and other's just had on head bands with springy things on top.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I'd rather have nGinius' neighbors, but we get a few well decorated houses (mine is slowly getting there) and often the kids and parents dress up similarly so it's like a roving party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T13:15:28.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3286" CreationDate="2011-11-02T13:19:21.653" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no reason to hold off starting the process of learning touch typing once the child shows an interest.  However, &lt;a href=&quot;http://theinnovativeeducator.blogspot.com/2011/02/when-should-students-start-learning-to.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;they may not have the motor coordination or finger span necessary until around 8 years old&lt;/a&gt;.  I learned when I was 13, but it is certainly not necessary to wait that long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest using a regular, labeled keyboard, and only consider moving her on to an unlabeled keyboard after she has mastered the basics and needs to practice what she has learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I learned touch typing as a child, we started with the basic home rows.  The progression started with simple combinations of 2 letters from the home row (&quot;a&quot; and &quot;;&quot; x times, then &quot;s&quot; and &quot;l&quot; x times, etc.), then larger combinations of home row key exercises, and then on to other keys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is basically &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_memory&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;muscle memory&lt;/a&gt; training.  Once we progressed to the point where our fingers knew where the keys were, our instructor was much stricter about allowing us to peek at the keyboard.  However, until we reached that point being able to look down periodically and re-orient was pretty important for preventing frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-11-02T14:04:29.480" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T14:04:29.480" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3289" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3291" CreationDate="2011-11-02T13:19:49.537" Score="14" ViewCount="77846" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 18 month old has started waking up progressively earlier every morning for the past couple of weeks.  It used to be that he would wake up between 6am-7am, which was no problem because I would wake up at 5:30am to walk the dogs.  If he woke before 6am, I'd give him some milk, change his diaper, and lay him back down, and usually he'd be asleep or quiet in his crib for at least another 30 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, however, I am at the point where he is waking up at ~4:45am.  I try the same approach, and if I am lucky he will be okay until 5:15am.  This is starting to wear on me, and also I can't really walk the dogs in the early morning now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only impact on him has been that sometimes he wants to nap in the morning instead of the afternoon, and ends up a little more tired throughout the day (nothing major though).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The weird thing is that he is SUPER consistent about what time he wants to go to bed (6:30pm).  This time hasn't changed in months.  Should I make him stay up later than he wants to in the hopes that he will sleep in later?  I don't really think ignoring him when he wakes up early would work, and it's not terribly consistent with our parenting style anyway (right now I tend to ignore him if I just hear him talking to himself...I attend to him once he gets upset...which is like 4:45am...).  Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1793" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-11-02T14:11:35.027" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T20:19:35.557" Title="How do you prevent a toddler from waking too early?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3284" CreationDate="2011-11-02T13:23:15.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I try to timebox my oldest into this, he has started doing the same.  Often coming home now without all his school lunch, or snack eaten.  When we sit down for dinner he is all over the place by squirming in his seat, eats slow and talks constantly - so its a battle to figure out what is appropriate for him to do.  Mine doesn't get bored, but his mind is on other things, although on occasion when it's something he REALLY likes he will sit and eat.  So we did two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lot's of praise for eating dinner in the timebox we set, my wife and I will put on the Oven Timer if he takes too long, he really doesn't like it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make him more of the things he enjoys, which works well, and I often sneak new things into his favorites.  Since one of them is pasta with tomato sauce it's easy to throw other stuff in there&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After meals he can have specific snacks, and he does have healthy habits there but I don't like to encourage him to snack too much.  I often note to him that he should have eaten all his meal, if he hadn't, and then he wouldn't need the snack - and then I will give him a choice between two things I think he should have.  Richer food is ok, but often the richer food is not as nutritious, I have started to talk more before dinner hoping this talks him out before then, but the boundless energy of kids is hard to suppress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T13:23:15.647" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3289" CreationDate="2011-11-02T13:48:56.600" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just went through this with our 13 month old.  He went from waking up at 6am to waking up at 4:45am, just like your son.  This occurred over a period of about 2 weeks, with him waking up progressively earlier and earlier each morning (by about 10-20 minutes each time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After consulting a pediatrician, the solution we used was the same as what we used to establish him sleeping through the night (he had a period where he would consistently wake at 3-3:30am).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We set a cut-off of 6am.  If he woke up before that and started crying (as opposed to fussing, or simply babbling to himself, in which case we'd leave him on his own until he started to seem upset), I'd get up, go to his room, and comfort him without picking him up.  Usually he calms down, and when I say &quot;it's too early, you need to go back to sleep&quot; he'd usually (but not always) lay back down and go back to sleep.  If he started crying after I left, or continued to cry despite my attempts to comfort him, we'd wait 10 minutes before I came back in to comfort him a second time.  All but 1 time he fell back asleep on his own before the 10 minutes were up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We generally don't let him out of his crib before 6am (unless he's not feeling well, or seems to have suffered from a particularly bad dream), and he now rarely wakes more than 10 minutes early, and when he does, he usually goes back to sleep on his own before I can even get out of bed to check on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not try to keep him up later in the hopes that he will be motivated to sleep later.  IMO that will be pretty disruptive.  My son generally stays up until 8:30pm as it is, and yet still wakes up at the same time as your son.  My suspicion is that your son will still wake at the same time, and simply want to nap more during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T13:48:56.600" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3286" CreationDate="2011-11-02T13:57:34.700" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the timing should be &lt;strong&gt;when the child first notices&lt;/strong&gt; that she needs to type more than a few characters per computer session. You nearly don't need the keyboard for painting, surfing, and goofing around. You do need it as soon as you want to interact beyond using the mouse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't throw an unlabeled keyboard at anyone -- it's not particularly motivating to try to remember 100 keys, or at least the ~50 she'll need for writing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather, I would &lt;strong&gt;encourage typing games.&lt;/strong&gt; Let her hunt and peck for starters, it's a good enough way to learn the location of the keys. Take the focus from the keyboard and have her &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to move her eyes to the screen instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suggestions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=typing%20games&quot;&gt;Google knows many typing games&lt;/a&gt;, and there are also some very good typing tutors around -- I've had the best success with the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tenthumbstypingtutor.com/&quot;&gt;Ten Thumbs Typing Tutor&lt;/a&gt; (the newest version even lets you type out song lyrics which might be cool for her). If you've got Linux then there are also several typing tutors built in or available for free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped me type faster was not a blank keyboard, but a &lt;em&gt;wanting&lt;/em&gt; to type faster because typing slowly kept me from progressing through the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Quest%3a_The_Sarien_Encounter&quot;&gt;adventure game&lt;/a&gt; I was playing. Today's adventure games have a mouse, unfortunately, so you need to look for other typing incentives. (Try asking that on &lt;a href=&quot;http://superuser.com&quot;&gt;superuser.com&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For added geek bonus points, you could also consider whether to train in Qwerty at all. Some people think that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dvorak_Simplified_Keyboard&quot;&gt;the Dvorak layout&lt;/a&gt; is more comfortable. I didn't say &lt;em&gt;better&lt;/em&gt; because that's a near-religious debate, but Dvorak is much more convenient to type. The biggest problem is that if you prefer it, you'll be swimming upstream forever against the force of ubiquity that Qwerty is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T13:57:34.700" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3289" CreationDate="2011-11-02T14:05:45.517" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to Beofett's answer, make sure that he is properly tired when you put him to bed, so that he actually &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; to sleep long enough. From your description it sounds like you already don't have a late-afternoon nap, so that's good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also make sure that he's not at all hungry when you put him to bed because that would be another reason for him to wake and get up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T14:05:45.517" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3289" CreationDate="2011-11-02T17:54:17.650" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In one of your previous comments you mentioned that by 6:30pm he is &lt;em&gt;asking&lt;/em&gt; to go to bed - have you tried putting him down earlier than that?  It sounds counter-intuitive but (as per the Healthy Sleep Habits / &quot;cry-it-out&quot; book) sometimes the later you keep him up the earlier he wakes up.  Try putting him down 15-30 minutes earlier and see whether he sleeps later when you do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1797" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T17:54:17.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3269" CreationDate="2011-11-02T23:30:30.933" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find myself far less concerned with the older kids trick-or-treating than the parent with an infant who clearly should not be having candy coming to the door to get their candy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think a long as there is effort in dressing up and their are respectful, there is no problem with older kids going out. I do expect a thank you though and call kids out on it if they fail to say thank you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-02T23:30:30.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3286" CreationDate="2011-11-03T01:19:07.397" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We teach typing in 3rd grade. There are many reasons they have decided to place it in 3rd grade and as Beofett mentioned, it is important to consider the size of the child's hands - if your child is to small to rest their fingers on the home keys, they will have a difficult time learning to type. There are many typing games out there that will help you child learn to type if they are physically able and interested in learning. I would suggest, at least in the US, use a qwerty keyboard for your child, it is what they will need to use in school, regardless of preferences, schools will not be quick to change to a different key board.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T01:19:07.397" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3284" CreationDate="2011-11-03T04:25:44.283" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on your house rules, you can tie in quick eating with a favorite after-meal activity. In our case, we ONLY let the kids watch cartoons after dinner before sleep, so the rule is &quot;you can watch TV from end of food till 8pm&quot;. If they eat slowly, they don't have time left for TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doesn't work perfectly but works well enough most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as nutrition - make sure they get &quot;heavy&quot; nutritious snacks (e.g. nuts, yogurt).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and if you have &gt;1 kid, competition (who will finish the food first) may work, but it's not guaranteed. The caveat here is to be careful to stop 5-minute-long &quot;I will win - no I will win&quot; chats :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2011-11-03T12:27:24.273" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T12:27:24.273" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3284" CreationDate="2011-11-03T11:14:37.633" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use the snacks ours like as a reward for eating their food, so if they don't eat their school lunches or mess around at dinner time they don't get a favourite snack after dinner. The better they do with their food the better options they get as a reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they eat all their dinner, have their fruit and get dressed for bed they get a good chunk of discovery channel or a book read to them. If not, they go straight to bed. The fact there are three of them helps with this, as invariably, the one who has behaved gloats a little :-/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly they go through phases, so you need to be aware that sometimes they will need twice as much food, and other times they may have a few days of eating almost nothing. At the low intake times we just ensure they at least get cereal in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T11:14:37.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3289" CreationDate="2011-11-03T12:21:56.700" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Also a &quot;sunrise clock&quot; can be helpful from about this age. It'll take a week or so of gentle encouragement for him to get the hang of it probably - to stay in bed until the &quot;sun is up&quot; (or whatever it is). Children often find this kind of boundary helpful as they don't have to cry out to find out what's going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;RE Gentle Encouragement you'll need to go in and show him the clock and say &quot;it's still sleepy time&quot; and maybe go in just before it activates so you can show him it waking up and join in!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T12:21:56.700" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3284" CreationDate="2011-11-03T13:46:48.833" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I suggest would hesitate to be concerned because he has dropped from the 91st percentile in height to 49.&lt;/strong&gt;  He is still well within the normal range, and no two children grow with similar patterns. Discuss your concerns with your pediatrician, and if advised that there is nothing to worry about, accept that advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He appears to have plenty of energy, which means he is getting enough calories.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You mentioned no other indicators of development issues or health problems.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is his weight percentile, and what was it when his height was 91?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is unusual height likely based on his family?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the grandparents about how the parents developed with respect to height, weight, and activity.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Examine how many calories he is getting in a day, and research whether that is enough for a child his age and weight.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discuss your concerns and findings with your pediatrician.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't heavily push food beyond the child's desires unless advised to do so by the pediatrician.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do continue to enforce mealtime rules around healthy eating, courtesy and respect. Those should include eating what is served regardless of whether it is a favorite, honestly trying every dish served, not rushing the meal, using good table manners, and remaining at the table until excused by a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2011-11-04T14:23:07.290" LastActivityDate="2011-11-04T14:23:07.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3301" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3398" CreationDate="2011-11-03T15:46:02.163" Score="6" ViewCount="388" Body="&lt;p&gt;With &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daylight_saving_time&quot;&gt;Daylight Savings&lt;/a&gt; coming up, we are worried about getting our son transitioned to the new time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we get him to sleep an hour later, when we're struggling with keeping him from waking up before 6am as it is?  Is there any way we can avoid a long, drawn-out process of learning the &quot;new&quot; time he has to wake up and go to sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will the same techniques work for the Spring, when he winds up waking an hour earlier?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T01:05:01.113" Title="What is the best strategy for adjusting an toddler's sleep cycle during Daylight Savings?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3301" CreationDate="2011-11-03T16:07:43.087" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know of no other solution than just chugging along in your daylight-adjusted normal daily routine, as near to your normal hours as you can manage, and let the child adjust on his own. He probably has a bit of variance in his routine anyway (maybe half an hour?), so you can treat this as a variance too, albeit perhaps a little bigger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very small children don't have a sense of time the way we do. In my experience, it's not worth a lot of planning and effort and exceptions to make anything special out of this date. It's only twice a year, and soon enough he'll be old enough to grasp the concept well enough to let you sleep that extra hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T16:07:43.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3301" CreationDate="2011-11-03T17:30:55.910" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try gradual changes: change his routine by 10mins a day leading up to it (or away from it!). It would only take a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T17:30:55.910" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3304" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3308" CreationDate="2011-11-03T18:52:02.813" Score="11" ViewCount="62979" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are expecting a child at the end of February. My sister-in-law is planning on getting married in early May in Macedonia (we live in the US). This is our first child and we're more than a little concerned about trying to take a child so young on such a big trip especially since we'll only have been parents for a few months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife really doesn't want to miss her sister's wedding so the current plan is I remain behind with the baby (and a supply of pumped breast milk) while my wife makes the trip over and back as fast as possible (probably a minimum of 4-5 days).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else had experience traveling with children this young?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1801" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:15:27.927" LastActivityDate="2018-10-31T08:49:16.090" Title="How young is too young to take a child overseas?" Tags="|infant|newborn|travel|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3289" CreationDate="2011-11-03T20:19:35.557" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;One other thing to consider is environment - especially light and sounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our toddler wakes earlier in the summer than in the fall and winter. We found the light in her south-facing room was becoming an issue. Blackout curtains helped a lot with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also realized the house water pipes go right by the wall in her room. 6am sprinklers woke her every morning. We switched the sprinkler time to the evening and she slept longer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of it is, I think, developmental. Some kids just wake early and if they're sleeping at 6:30, sounds like you have an early bird. But double checking environmental factors is a good idea, too, just to make sure its the kid wanting to wake and not being woken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1802" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T20:19:35.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3275" CreationDate="2011-11-03T21:16:22.603" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although Sarato has given a good general overview, The answer to this will vary depending on the make and model of the carseats as well as local laws. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, some infant carrier carseats support a weight limit of 22 lb, but others have a weight limit of 30 lb. An infant carrier carseat can be used as long as the child is within the height and weight limits of the seat, and the seat fits properly (ie: the shoulder harness goes high enough and their head is not too close to the top of the seat). For some children and seats, it may be only 4 months before they outgrow their infant carseat, others may be able to use one until they are a year or more old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the state of California (where I happen to live), the new law going into effect in January is that children must sit in the backseat until they are 12 (with exceptions, such as backseat is already full with additional children), and be in a booster seat or carseat until they are 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety has a page &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.iihs.org/laws/childrestraint.aspx&quot;&gt;summarizing the carseat laws&lt;/a&gt; in each of the 50 US States. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The NHSTA has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.flickr.com/photos/40986460@N02/6150727282/sizes/l/in/photostr&quot;&gt;helpful infographic&lt;/a&gt; representing the age-appropriateness of the different types of seats. Eg: rear-facing 0-3, forward-facing 1-7, booster seat 4-12, seat belt 8+. Notice that these do not reflect the American Academy of Pediatric's most recent stance that children &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/21/car.seat.guidelines.parenting/index.html&quot;&gt;should be kept rear-facing&lt;/a&gt; until at least age 2 or as long as possible (within the limits of the carseat).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T21:16:22.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3304" CreationDate="2011-11-03T23:53:16.490" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was pregnant, I talked with my pediatrician about traveling with my baby as early as 8 weeks.  Here are some of his concerns (and some of my own) for traveling with a newborn:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Airline Regulations&lt;/b&gt;: Some airlines require a doctor's note for a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; young baby to fly.  (For American Airlines, this age limit is 7 days or younger.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Airplane Germs&lt;/b&gt;: Since the air on a plane is recycled, your newborn is exposed to more germs than usual.  Avoid flying with a newborn during flu season, or before 4 weeks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Unfamiliar places&lt;/b&gt;: My pediatrician suggested you not go on vacation with a newborn, because being on your own in a new place would be stressful.  Visiting family would negate this point, if you plan on staying with them and getting plenty of help.&#xA;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-11-03T23:53:16.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3304" CreationDate="2011-11-04T00:34:30.203" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;The earliest plane trip I took with my first child was when he was about 2 months old. It lasted 4 hours and I did it solo (no co-parent)! Then when he was 9 months old, we did a trans-Atlantic crossing with my husband. My second son was 9 months old when we took them both on a trans-Pacific flight. That was long. :) They had a special bassinet with straps to hold them in that fasten to the bulkhead. Sometimes the staff will try to seat you beside an empty seat so that you have more room. It doesn't hurt to be early and ask at check-in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's so much easier traveling when they are little because they mostly sleep. The hard part is keeping strangers from touching them and keeping your own hands clean. Bring hand sanitizer to help &lt;strong&gt;control germs&lt;/strong&gt; on your own hands. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/air-travel-with-infant/HQ00197&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt; does not recommend air travel with infants younger than 6 weeks when their immune system is most vulnerable, but your child should be about 2 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they get older, they move more and want to explore. This makes long flights more challenging. Two adults travelling with a baby is much easier than one. However, the flight attendants I have encountered have been very helpful. If you are traveling alone and need to trust your baby with someone else, be sure to tell them not to touch your baby's hands or mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding makes things very simple. Infants can be sensitive to changes in &lt;strong&gt;air pressure&lt;/strong&gt;. Nursing/feeding during take-off/landing can help with this. Crying, that full-volume mouth wide-open screaming cry, actually helps relieve the pressure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most infant &lt;strong&gt;car seats&lt;/strong&gt; are approved for air travel. Absolutely bring their car seat on the plane! If you are lucky, they will keep the seat beside you vacant. The car seat is the perfect place for them to sleep and gives you a break so you can eat your own meal or sleep without worrying about dropping them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, if you are comfortable travelling, make sure your vaccinations are current before you go. Bring hand sanitizer. Leave as much time as possible to process your passports. And don't be afraid to set boundaries. By the end of 2 months, you'll feel like a pro.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-11-04T00:34:30.203" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3286" CreationDate="2011-11-04T15:27:58.613" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I HAVE NO DATA OR PROOF...so yea, take this with a huge grain of salt, but I posit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hunting-and-pecking is a legacy of our modern older demographics. It's a non issue for anyone born in the past 10 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typing, I suggest, is like learning a language. It'll come naturally to kids that are growing up with keyboards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, most schools these days are introducing computer classes that involve typing from an early age (our kids started in these in 1st grade) and if there are computers in the house, they'll likely pick it up on their own as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really want to teach touch typing, there are plenty of typing-based games...both for purchase and for free online. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-11-04T15:27:58.613" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3310" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-04T22:16:00.317" Score="1" ViewCount="1617" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son just started school a few weeks ago. He is 3. We arrived to the country we currently live in about a year and a half ago, when he was starting to speak our mother-tongue. Maybe in part because of that, plus who knows what else, he doesn't speaks. Says a few words, but it's not construction phrases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At school the teacher said he is inmature for his age. But that he is catching up, and we should wait a little before raising any alarm. The pediatrician has the same opinion. And I believe they are right. But I'm looking at ways to help him. They didn't say anything about how we can help him to talk and socialize more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts, ideas, even books recommendations would be great!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1805" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-04T22:57:00.967" LastActivityDate="2011-11-14T23:43:19.113" Title="How can I help my 3 year old son to be more mature according to his age?" Tags="|pre-schooler|language-development|maturity|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3310" CreationDate="2011-11-05T00:46:36.027" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can only second the advice of the teacher and Pediatrician. Our daughter has grown up in a home where two languages are spoken, but English was the first language we presented. She's almost through prep school and will be soon heading off to first grade, but Filipino (Tagalog) is something she's struggling with, despite growing up around it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children have an &lt;em&gt;immense&lt;/em&gt; capacity for language, but it does take some time. Within a year she's just about conversationally fluent and her confidence has increased accordingly. I'd suspect that your child's shyness could be ascribed to confidence, more than anything. If you don't feel comfortable in a social situation, you aren't going to be very likely to engage. That goes for adults, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just give it time, and capitalize on any opportunity you find to boost your child's confidence. Speak both languages at home as much as possible and nature will take its course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2011-11-05T00:46:36.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3310" CreationDate="2011-11-05T16:20:40.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree .. there is no need to be alarmed. But the situation should motivate you to increase your efforts to help the child mature.  I think the question was &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speak in the mother-tongue at home, not in the adopted tongue.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I presume that the schooling is &quot;immersion&quot;, meaning that the adopted language is primary. So there is plenty of exposure to the adopted language. Your role is to prompt actual use of language. As you get him to be more expressive in the mother tongue, it will carry over to the adopted tongue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If the child is in a bilingual class, get the child into class in the adopted language. As soon as possible. There will be initial struggles, but not as many as you think. Bilingual education is a complete and utter waste of time, and may well be contributing to the problem. I would say more about the topic, but the mods would have to silence me.&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speak to the child in complete sentences, and require verbal responses. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Use your words&quot; or something similar should be a common refrain from you and the mother. Give lots of encouragement as the child struggles with vocabulary and construction and makes progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make the child speak more and speak in complete thoughts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have conversations with the child. Frequently prompt the child for more information. Ask how and why questions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-11-05T16:20:40.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="715" CreationDate="2011-11-05T16:41:54.743" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 19 year old daughter's ears were pierced when she was an infant, and Grandma gave her a nice pair of earrings. Then there were pictures taken with my wife, her mother, her grandmother, and her daughter all similarly dressed with the similar earrings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I guess I am a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/715/how-old-is-old-enough-for-a-child-to-have-their-ears-pierced/718#718&quot;&gt;human rights violator&lt;/a&gt;.  I will book flights to the Hague for my wife and I.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, we did not allow tattoos or additional piercings until she reached adulthood. She asked a few times, and we refused. We told her that when she came of age to make her own choices, she would be able to make her own choices. Before that, the choice was ours and we said no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our rationale was straight-forward. Pierced ears are culturally normal and accepted. Multiple ear piercings, piercings in other places, and tattoos are less accepted and are difficult to reverse. Personally, I find excessive tattooing distracting and an indicator of impulsiveness and poor judgment, but that is just me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-09-13T02:44:49.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3240" CreationDate="2011-11-05T19:02:15.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You acknowledge the problem in the first sentence. Put the baby in the bassinet/crib and then get up to nurse when needed. The first couple of nights are going to be miserable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it is time for a feeding, be businesslike and quiet. Rise promptly rather than let the baby cry itself fully awake. Feed, burp, change diaper if needed, back to sleep for both of you.  Don't stimulate the baby with anything other than the feeding. It will soon become a routine that both of you almost sleep through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You and the baby both will sleep better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The feedings will be quicker, leading to more sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-11-05T19:02:15.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3301" CreationDate="2011-11-07T15:28:54.060" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What we wound up doing was simply keeping him awake an hour later the night before.  He still woke up at his normal time (now 5am instead of 6am), but he was still tired enough that when we came in and told him to go back to sleep, he did, and slept soundly for another hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, it was much easier than we feared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-11-07T15:28:54.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3240" CreationDate="2011-11-07T16:04:09.140" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son was like that for the first several months.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We dealt with this by co-sleeping.  It took several weeks of adjustment, but once we were used to it, my wife could feed him without fully waking up herself, thus felt much better rested in the morning.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll also echo what @Saiboogu said: we agreed that I did all the night-time diaper changing to balance the night-time disturbances.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="161" LastActivityDate="2011-11-07T16:04:09.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3317" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3439" CreationDate="2011-11-08T02:35:52.847" Score="11" ViewCount="90676" Body="&lt;p&gt;My niece is 15 months old, and has inherited a combination of the worst traits of her parent's hair: it's very very fine, like her mother's (and mine), and grows at all sorts of odd angles, like her father's. It's now gotten long enough to hang into her eyes, but it's not long enough to be tucked behind her ears. We fight a never ending (and losing) battle to brush it out of her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cutting it seems like a temporary solution at best, because it'll just grow again. Plus, I can't imagine getting her to stay still long enough to even attempt a haircut.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Barrettes and clips slide right out. If gravity doesn't do the job on its own, the niece does her head shaking thing and out flies the clip. (Which she then promptly puts into her mouth, but I digress.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yes, we've tried the various &quot;non-slip&quot; barrettes with rubberized this or sticky that or whatever. They're obviously designed for way more hair than my niece possesses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Rubber bands stay put only slightly better than clips. And as soon as she notices that there's something in her hair, she grabs it and takes it out. (And yes, puts it into her mouth.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Headbands (either the plastic arc type or the large rubber band type) are a lovely toy, but are not to go anywhere near the head. At least according to my niece.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find myself wondering if they make hair gel for toddlers. Help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="984" LastActivityDate="2018-03-28T11:48:36.577" Title="How can we keep my niece's hair out of her eyes?" Tags="|toddler|hair|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2011-11-08T03:11:46.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Considering the fate of all the other things that end up in your niece's hair, I would suggest non-toxic gel if you do go that route. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your question is very thorough: it seems that you've attempted (and given up on) every solution I would try myself.  The only thing left might be to keep her hair trimmed until she's old enough to not eat her hair clips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-11-08T03:11:46.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2011-11-08T05:22:32.643" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why is at a concern? Do you really need to worry about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see that there is a safety or hygiene issue with hair hanging in front of the eyes. About the only thing I can think of appearance, which is fine, but not all that urgent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have exhausted all of the alternatives except the hair cut.  If it really is necessary to control the hair, then you need to get it cut.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-11-08T05:22:32.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3320" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-08T05:56:29.423" Score="10" ViewCount="832" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yesterday, while trick or treating, several of my 5 year old's friends were making fun his name in an unpleasant manner. The mom of these other kids were there but they did not notice this behavior or perhaps chose to ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was unsure how to react in the above situation and would appreciate some tips for the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1815" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-08T19:37:20.910" LastActivityDate="2011-11-16T14:01:55.650" Title="How to respond when your kid is being ridiculed by another kid when the other kid's parent(s) are present?" Tags="|pre-schooler|bullying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3320" CreationDate="2011-11-08T08:56:14.547" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a lot to be said for letting children sort out this sort of thing, but the final call needs to come down to you as a parent - do you think your child was getting upset by it, or treating it as banter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it upset my child I would have called it out then and there - the same way I would if it were my own children making fun of another, pointing out to them that it wasn't a nice thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the parents would either back you up, or have to take an opposing standpoint. I can't think of any of my children's friend's parents doing this, more likely would be they either weren't paying attention or just leaving it up to the kids to sort out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-08T08:56:14.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2011-11-08T08:57:47.243" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does she care if it is in her eyes? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If not, leave it - it will eventually get longer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If so, cut it - it is fine to cut hair regularly :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-08T08:57:47.243" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3320" CreationDate="2011-11-08T09:29:28.767" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say something along the lines of &lt;strong&gt;&quot;That's not a very nice way to talk to our friends&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; to the children in question. The parents would invariably notice what you said and may choose to follow it up with more stern words if they feel it appropriate, depending on the situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child/children continue at least the other parents are now aware of it and will hopefully step in. If they do not then you need to choose whether to raise the stakes between you and the other parent. If so, you can follow this with a &quot;do you mind if I stop your child talking to mine in that way?&quot; ... i.e. a request to be more stern with their child. As adults and friends this should result in resolution quickly about how to move forward. Just be sure to respect their point of view too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastEditorUserId="1789" LastEditDate="2011-11-16T14:01:55.650" LastActivityDate="2011-11-16T14:01:55.650" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2011-11-08T12:39:40.650" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she won't stay still long enough to cut the hair do what my wife does, put the child to sleep on a towel then cut the hair slowly, holding onto it.  You shouldn't get much hair on the bed and you can usually move a sleeping child enough to get the towel out, or move them back to the bed if you want to try putting them to sleep somewhere else first.  Cutting is always temporary, but its a better solution if you don't want to worry about things in the hair getting put in the mouth later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-11-08T12:39:40.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3320" CreationDate="2011-11-08T12:42:11.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest to the kids that it's not nice to talk that way, but unless my kid was upset I wouldn't do more than that and steer conversation away from the incident.  With 5 year olds that is easy, and on Halloween it's even easier &quot;hey look at those decorations!&quot;.  Thing is if it happens in front of you, it can happen when you are not present.  Try and find out from your child if it is constant and see what you can do about it, your child may not care or if he does its a good time to talk about it.  Parents may back things up when they are around, but its a good life skill to be able to teach your children how to back themselves up sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-11-08T12:42:11.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3249" CreationDate="2011-11-08T16:06:44.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son also used to bang his head on the floor to make a point. And he's got a clever head! It's not nice. We used to &lt;strong&gt;discipline him for banging his head&lt;/strong&gt; (e.g. telling off, naughty-step, etc) because we considered it a very serious reaction that we must stop before he caused damage! It's quite important he doesn't get too much attention for banging his head (which is our natural reaction!) as this could encourage the behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important your child gets to show their emotions and feelings, but we also must teach them to think and communicate too. He will find a different way of expressing himself - just be sure to help him do it constructively!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1818" LastActivityDate="2011-11-08T16:06:44.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3327" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3336" CreationDate="2011-11-08T16:56:21.770" Score="5" ViewCount="20717" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took my wife to take our first ultrasound. I was told be an operator/receptionist while we made an appointment that it is OK to bring a camcorder with us. But when we were there, the ultrasound technician told us another story. She said that camcorder is not allow to record our baby but they can provide us a 3 min copy of ultrasound movie from the lab's monitor instead. (Actually I wanted to see my wife face when she saw our baby for the first time, but DVD still better than nothing)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a common practice in US or in PA? Is it the law? All my friends have their first ultrasound video to keep a good memory. (My friends are not in the US.) I still do not understand why they are not allow us to shoot our VDO. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1474" LastEditorUserId="1483" LastEditDate="2011-11-14T20:55:12.547" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T22:06:09.880" Title="Why would a hospital not allow the recording of a baby's ultrasound video while in the lab?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3328" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3331" CreationDate="2011-11-08T18:11:59.550" Score="-1" ViewCount="790" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15-month-old is currently going through her second bout of a cold-induced asthma. It's relatively minor as this time my wife and I are better prepared - the first time did require a trip to the emergency room, and was much more scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, my question is whether anyone has experience with an infant and toddler who developed a virus-induced asthma trigger first, specifically a cold or flu, and developed a second or third unrelated trigger as an older child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I've been asthmatic (exercise-induced, mostly) for most of my life, although today is fairly well managed. I remember many trips to the hospital, especially when I was 5 to 10 yrs old, although I do not remember asthma attacks related to viruses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally speaking, has anyone else experienced a similar link? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1812" LastActivityDate="2019-09-12T04:54:45.147" Title="Could cold/flu-induced asthma lead to other triggers later in life?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|asthma|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2011-11-09T18:19:22.827" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2011-11-08T18:21:22.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have reached puberty, have a willing partner of the opposite sex ( I'm assuming you are trying to conceive), you have an adequate supply of clean running water, enough food during all seasons, are able to make a fire to keep warm in winter, have a shelter that will protect you from the elements and are confident that as a family have a good chance to protect your new family member from predatory or dangerous animals, you are ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1732" LastActivityDate="2011-11-08T18:21:22.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3327" CreationDate="2011-11-09T00:24:56.903" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guess would be that it is due to liabilty fears. I doubt you could record anything in the place, in case you recorded them making a mistake and could then use the video as evidence in court.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1220" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T00:24:56.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3328" CreationDate="2011-11-09T00:37:08.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old son has had bouts of croup, bronchialitis, asthma, and pneumonia over the last couple of years, including two 7-10 night stays in hospital, and each time we were told that it wouldn't mean he would have problems later. After the most recent hospital visit for pneumonia, they suggested he be given the flu vaccine each year as a precaution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1220" LastEditorUserId="1220" LastEditDate="2019-09-12T04:54:45.147" LastActivityDate="2019-09-12T04:54:45.147" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3332" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3334" CreationDate="2011-11-09T08:38:45.147" Score="2" ViewCount="7733" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our long period of potty training is still ongoing, and at the moment, a lot of underwear it falling victim to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After washing by hand with clear water and washing in the washing machine at 60 °C, there still remain brown stains in many of the (colored) pants.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What is a good way to get rid of those stains?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a similar question about cloth diapers &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/364/how-do-you-remove-stains-from-cloth-diapers&quot;&gt;How do you remove stains from cloth diapers?&lt;/a&gt;, but &lt;em&gt;sunning&lt;/em&gt; is not an option during fall and winter and &lt;em&gt;bleaching&lt;/em&gt; in general does not work well with colored clothes, I suppose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Should somebody propose to just trash the stained underwear, this is not acceptable for us, as is is not only a question of cost but also a waste of ressources, especially as we need really many of them at the moment - sometimes 1..5 per day)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-01-31T20:52:09.693" Title="How to remove brown stains from colored underwear?" Tags="|potty-training|cleaning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2011-11-09T09:41:11.333" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just recently had exactly the same problem: getting our 2 year old daughter to transition from the potty to the toilet, especially for poos. What worked for us was &lt;strong&gt;going on holiday without the potty&lt;/strong&gt; (on purpose, I hasten to add :-) ), so she had to use the toilet. I hid the potty at home and when she asked for it I simply said &quot;potty is only for night-time, please use the toilet and then you can have a sweet!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know not every child is the same, but thought you might find that helpful. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T09:41:11.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3332" CreationDate="2011-11-09T13:00:17.890" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest using one of those spray on spot removers and using it right after the clothes have been worn and slightly cleaned, don't let the spots sit on there longer than they have to.  Took me a few washes but once I kept on top of it the stains are not that noticable anymore, although washing the clothes with color safe bleach also helped me out.  Basically I do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clean the underwear right away, when I notice it by rinsing off what I can by hand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spray on the stain remover, took me a bit to find one that I like and works well (since I am US based I won't mention products); I really soak it in sometimes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wash the laundry loads when I can, using child safe detergent and a small amount of color safe bleach&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check the laundry right after the wash, if it's still stained I try to put it back in with more stain remover - my view is if it goes in the dryer it's going to stain more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far I have been able to keep the stains from being too noticable, and I joke to my wife, if it get's too bad again then I'm dying all the underwear brown so it won't be noticable at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T13:00:17.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3327" CreationDate="2011-11-09T13:03:25.857" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd concur with Turpie, there are lots of litigation issues surrounding medical procedures, some technicians may also just not like being recorded.  Many hospitals may have blanket policies to limit recordings to avoid litigation as well, far as I know there is no law but company and business policies tend to trump many things.  Might not hurt to check with the hospital to see what they say, especially since you want to document your baby and it's important to you - they might make an exception or give you more reason as to why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T13:03:25.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3327" CreationDate="2011-11-09T16:40:14.100" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to a friend of mine who is a nurse in obstetrics, the terms of the ultrasound machine purchase/lease typically only allow the hospital to use the ultrasound images for medical purposes.  Giving it to you to show off to your friends/family is not medical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some ultrasound manufacturers now let you log in to their web site and get those images for a fee, others allow the hospital to print you small copies and the hospital may or may not charge to recover the royalties paid to the ultrasound company for doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-11-09T17:10:15.890" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T17:10:15.890" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3249" CreationDate="2011-11-09T17:03:47.427" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is pretty common -- frankly, head-butting or head-banging makes a more satisfying sound and causes less pain than its common adult/teen corollary: punching the wall.  Icing on the cake, it's also less likely to damage your drywall. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If ignoring it completely doesn't end it, you still don't want to risk teaching your child that self-harm is a way to get attention by reprimanding him for hitting his head (which he's probably doing for the sound rather than as self-harm anyway).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, punish him for the sound.  &quot;We do not bang on things in this house. The rules do not go away just because you are upset.  Go to time out.&quot; is my usual approach.  (A good time-out is &lt;em&gt;silent&lt;/em&gt; anyway.)  Then, when you are taking the child out of time out, make sure he knows he's not allowed to bang on things, and talk about what he &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do when he's upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Little kids get relief from doing something physical with their strong emotions -- hitting something, throwing things, kicking and screaming, even when they don't elicit attention are intrinsically rewarding as forms of release.  So, pick another form of release that you can offer your child as an alternative -- whatever you are comfortable with him doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the mean time, don't worry too much.  The head-banging thing is very common in toddlers -- especially those who lack the vocabulary to describe what they are feeling, which means they can't really begin to wrap their heads around it yet.  Unless your child has a serious underlying problem (which you hopefully would have noticed because of other things), or is doing something really reckless (running on/near stairs or sharp objects, hitting something more dangerous than a wall, etc.) he's not likely to hurt himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T17:03:47.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3328" CreationDate="2011-11-09T17:38:22.813" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a medical professional, but to my knowledge (from having asthmatic bronchitis as a child, and looking after a few kids through doctor appointments, etc):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asthma (i.e. the chronic condition) is not caused by any virus.  Some infections can cause asthmatic symptoms that will go away when the infection is gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children who already have the risk factors for asthma (such as parents with asthma or other respiratory problems), and will develop asthma, are more likely to have asthmatic symptoms from infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a data point, I had asthmatic bronchitis twice as a child, but never developed asthma.  No one in my family has asthma, and the only family member with a respiratory disease got it from exposure to dangerous chemicals, not anything heritable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about asthma, you really should talk to a doctor rather than asking an unscientific sampling of people on a web site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T17:38:22.813" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3339" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3362" CreationDate="2011-11-09T18:20:52.323" Score="14" ViewCount="2997" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 month old has a pretty good vocabulary for his age.  However, it is a source of frustration for my wife that &quot;mommy&quot; (or some variation thereof) is not part of his vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He says &quot;daddy&quot; quite often, which only adds salt to the wound, so to speak.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have pointed out that while yes, he does have a decent vocabulary, but none of the words he knows include the &quot;m&quot; sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've both been saying &quot;mommy&quot; quite frequently, but he just doesn't seem to want to say it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does make a &quot;m&quot; sound, but only when he's frustrated (it's more of a whining complaint beginning with &quot;mmm&quot;, which does not make her feel any better).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it possible to encourage him to say &quot;mommy&quot;, or does it simply have to wait until he is ready to learn it on his own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-08-28T18:07:45.710" Title="Can you guide a toddler to learn specific words?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3244" CreationDate="2011-11-09T18:30:53.730" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some techniques that have worked with our 8 year old girl, with an ADHD diagnosis, to make the writing process easier. And when the writing is easier, the effort to get her to do it is also easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Using ruled paper - it helps when she has boundaries for writing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A weighted writing wrist band and a pencil holder - helps with legibility.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Writing in short spurts - keeps her from worrying about writing the whole report and focuses her on just the one or two sentences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Letting her type it on the computer then copy it after - helps relax the thoughts about writing because she prefers the computer, and helps near point copying when she transcribes it, which can be another ADD related problem in the classroom.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some form of reward system can help, too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1821" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T18:30:53.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3341" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3345" CreationDate="2011-11-09T18:41:30.567" Score="8" ViewCount="410" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has a pretty eclectic selection of vocabulary.  Some words seem to have been picked up from my wife and I repeating them (such as &quot;uh-oh&quot; and &quot;daddy&quot;).  Others seem to have been learned without us doing much to single them out (&quot;balloon&quot;, &quot;blue&quot;, and &quot;duck&quot; for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other words we've been trying to teach him (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3339/can-you-guide-a-toddler-to-learn-specific-words&quot;&gt;see here&lt;/a&gt;) seem unaffected by repetition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some words he's learned seem completely random.  For example, when looking at my iPhone booting up, he pointed to the Apple logo, and said &quot;ball&quot;.  I said &quot;that's not a ball, that's an apple&quot;, and he immediately smiled and said &quot;apple&quot; quite clearly.  Yet he doesn't seem to associate the word with the logo, or even my phone, as it seems to be a catch-all word to him (it is now his favorite words, but seems to be used for anything from &quot;I'm bored&quot; to &quot;hello!&quot; to &quot;oooo! Look at the wind chime!&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't seem to figure out what the pattern (or patterns?) is to how he chooses his words.  Is there one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T18:41:04.917" Title="How do toddlers pick their first words?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3332" CreationDate="2011-11-09T18:47:10.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If bleaching works and this is a temporary issue, why not just buy lighter coloured or white undies and bleach them clean? We hand-wash, soak in bleach overnight and then wash in a machine and have no problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing we do with our lad (currently undergoing toilet training) is bulk buy cheap undies. His childcare centre will often just toss soiled underwear whereas we wash and reuse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW: if he is defecating up to 5 times a day, perhaps you should look at his diet. That does not sound too healthy. Certain foods (kiwi, apricots, etc) will cause our lad to poo more often. We will use these if he had gone more than a day without a movement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T18:47:10.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3341" CreationDate="2011-11-09T20:24:39.893" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;How?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I think you'd have to be a brain-scanning linguist doctor to know that, and I suspect even those people are baffled at the absolute frontiers of language learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Which words?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Obviously the words they start with are somewhere in the general vocabulary that is used in their presence. But unlike his parents, he doesn't have any value system to tell him that &quot;mommy&quot; is more useful, and indeed more appreciated, to know very early. Without a value system, they just pick up whatever attaches best in their brains at the time, for whatever reason. It might be that the sound of the word is pleasing, or the &quot;feel&quot; or &quot;oral shape&quot; of the word is intriguing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-09T20:24:39.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2011-11-09T20:36:26.757" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think most would agree that kids generally learn the words they hear. But in my experience, hoping for one &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; word is futile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the first words we started deliberately training*) with our son was &lt;em&gt;farmor&lt;/em&gt; (&lt;em&gt;grandma&lt;/em&gt; in Danish) because we knew that his grandma would be extremely proud and pleased to hear this word. We actually started before his first birthday, but he didn't really start talking until nearly two years old (possibly because of being raised bilingual). Even after continued &lt;em&gt;farmor&lt;/em&gt; training, and building a vocabulary of maybe fifty words, &lt;em&gt;farmor&lt;/em&gt; wasn't among them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He didn't actually start saying the word until 25 months old, so you can say it took nearly 15 months of training -- or you could say that the training was completely lost on him. Either way, this is just &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; statistical data point planted firmly in the &quot;no&quot; camp of your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*) By &quot;training&quot; I mean that we very often talked to him about grandma and used the word intensively. He certainly knew what the word meant; she visited often, and we have pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-10T11:29:24.970" LastActivityDate="2011-11-10T11:29:24.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3341" CreationDate="2011-11-10T01:49:01.140" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an amazing &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/deb_roy_the_birth_of_a_word.html&quot;&gt;TED Talk&lt;/a&gt; on how language is acquired. The researcher recorded about 10 hours/day of audio and video (about 200TB) from the moment his son came home to age 3, focusing on the first 2 years. He (and his colleagues) mapped all of the words his son heard during that time and then &lt;strong&gt;chronologically mapped the audio and visual for each of the 503 words he learned before age 2&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then they asked the question why did he learn the words that he learned.&#xA;They graphed the complexity of the caregiver utterances based on the length of utterances. When he learned a word, they traced back what lead to the child saying that word. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why were some words born before others? (about min 6:00 in the video)&#xA;In the audio context, they found that the 3 &lt;strong&gt;caregivers in the house changed the complexity of their language&lt;/strong&gt; to make it as simple as possible and then it got more complex after the child could make the word. This happened for every word that he learned. So, these seems to mean that children learn the words that the caregivers support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the visual context, they graphed where the child was in the house every time he heard the word (social hot spots). Does the structure of where words are heard affect when they are learned? (about min 9:00)? There as a change in the &quot;wordscape&quot; (where the child heard the word) which gave it context. Therefore, children learn the words in the context of where they hear them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be sure to watch the very end where his son takes his first steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW: There is more to this presentation. They took this another step further and looked at language in media. By graphing what people are saying and the context they are saying them, they can measure how engaged people are in the things that are happening (linking mass media with social media).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-11-10T01:49:01.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3332" CreationDate="2011-11-10T02:20:54.547" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can still sun even in the fall and winter.  Even if you need to put them in a sunny winner. Also you can try bac out.  It helps remove biological stains and is all natural.  Oxyclean also helps.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1823" LastActivityDate="2011-11-10T02:20:54.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3347" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-10T06:13:31.337" Score="1" ViewCount="138" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/49/does-using-sign-language-really-accelerate-a-childs-ability-to-speak&quot;&gt;Does using sign language really accelerate a child&amp;#39;s ability to speak?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am considering teaching my 8-month-old sign language, and I can't sneeze without finding resources extolling the virtues of sign language for babies (most of which use subjective arguments, like easing you baby's frustration).  However, I worry that signs could end up as a &quot;crutch&quot;, and might hinder my daughter's verbal speech, and maybe even hinder her communication in general (verbal or nonverbal).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any actual studies showing that teaching babies sign language is helpful?  Even a study that concludes it doesn't hurt would make me feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-11-10T06:13:31.337" Title="Can learning sign language be harmful for babies' speech development?" Tags="|infant|speech|sign-language|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2011-11-10T12:59:27.640" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2011-11-10T10:38:05.230" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry to take the opposing view @Torben - but our three definitely copied the noises we made. In our case this meant they all said Mummy waaaaay earlier than Daddy (as I was working away a lot so saying my name was a bit irrelevant to them)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I remember correctly, the first proper words (used correctly) from our eldest were Mummy and No&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It did make an amazing impact on me the day I arrived home to my son coming to the door and shouting &quot;Daddy home!&quot; but I think he was getting close to his second birthday at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, if you say other words a lot, you can get in a lot of trouble with parents (eg babysitting for kids and getting them to learn fun words like &quot;Tequila&quot; to impress Mummy and Daddy when they return...ahem...not that I ever did that:-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-10T10:38:05.230" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2011-11-10T11:57:28.967" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have come at this late, but I have to say that I have no difficulty separating out my behaviour with the band on tour (swearing may be quite common :-) and at home with the family (I don't swear at all)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It never required any great effort, just an understanding of environment - I wouldn't swear at all in my day job either. Aligning behaviour to environment can make this very easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-10T11:57:28.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3350" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3359" CreationDate="2010-10-25T16:07:52.840" Score="67" ViewCount="6943" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering what parents programmers (or really any working-at-a-computer job) have to say about staying at home with an infant while trying to get some work done; is it at all feasible?  How much work might you actually do?  Long term or short term, one child or several; not real relevant right now to me, but I've often wondered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1824" OwnerDisplayName="Thomas" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:12:26.417" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T13:50:31.173" Title="Programming with a baby" Tags="|infant|working-parents|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-10-25T16:31:16.457" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that it depends greatly on the age, personality and disposition of the child. Two of my children were born during a period of five years during which I exclusively worked from home. They were typically in day care, but I watched them on all of the many occasions that they were too ill to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found that during early months when they do little besides eat and sleep, there was no problem. I was even able to feed them a bottle with one hand and type with the other. However, once they started being able to crawl, it was more difficult to give enough attention to the computer to be normally productive. There's just too-much trouble that the child can get into, and they begin to need intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No parent wants to think that they are neglecting their child's needs in order to get work done, no matter how important the work is, so it's a large and risky proposition to plan to combine home care of a baby with work-at-home. You might give it a go on a short-time basis to see if it works, but even if it does, children grow and change so quickly that you might find that what works today fails badly next week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Adam Crossland" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T13:40:01.737" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T13:40:01.737" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-10-25T17:46:12.180" Score="62" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been working (programming) from home for 6 years now and have 3 children (7, 5, 2). It is certainly possible, but I think the most important thing is a home office. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An office with a locking door is essential. I always work in my office with the door shut. If I have a conference call or really need to put my head down I will lock the door. Every now and then my kids will come in the office unannounced. If I'm not super busy it's OK. We can spend a few minutes together and then they leave. If I am busy, I should have locked the door. My kids (even my 2 year old) know that if the door is locked I'm not going to open it, so they just turn around and go do something else. There is background noise, but you'll get to used to that after a while and learn to tune it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some side issues involved as well. It can be more difficult when the kids are infants or they're not behaving. My wife sometimes gets upset that I'm in my office with the door locked while she's having to wrangle the children. Also, you lose the social aspect of being in an office, so it may not be for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To specifically answer your question: I am just as, if not more, productive as I would be if I were in an office building. I have no commute to deal with and if I need to work after hours it's as simple as going upstairs. It also allows me to spend what free time I can get out of my day with my family if they're home. But I couldn't do it without a dedicated office.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1838" OwnerDisplayName="DaveK" LastActivityDate="2010-10-25T17:46:12.180" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-10-25T17:56:55.163" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been working from home for years, have 2 kids (6yrs old and 3) and it is possible to get work done and be productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to establish how and when you work and be consistent.  Kids need for the rules to apply everytime so what ever you come up with stick to it.  I will work with the door to my office closed if I cannot be disturbed and even a 1 year old can learn that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you plan on spending time with your kid(s) during the day?  If so set aside the time every day and make it part of your schedule.  I take a break when my kids get home from school and start back up after they go to bed.  It's a decent sized break and really allows for some good time with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2366" OwnerDisplayName="Walter" LastActivityDate="2010-10-25T17:56:55.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-10-25T17:59:05.620" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Got 2 kids at home all day and one on the way. I telecommute when the weather is too dangerous to drive and I've found that the only way to do it is to wake up early and pretend you're not there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find it very difficult to child/babyproof my home office. If they do make it in to your fortress of solitude, my best advice would be to get an old junker computer, remove all the screws and jumpers and let your little tike tear into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2871" OwnerDisplayName="Peter Turner" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T13:46:09.193" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T13:46:09.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-10-25T18:55:22.807" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had co-workers who did this and usually they produced less work of poorer quality than when they were in the office. In fact it deteriorated so badly, we had to let some of them go. If you have a sitter who is watching the children, it's ok, but you cannot work and watch children at the same time and any parent worth his or her salt will make the child's needs the priority. If you are staying home to save child care costs, then you might as well quit. If you have someone else watching the children and you have a place where you can work with a door that will lock, then it can work but you have to be very disciplined about work hours vice home hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="HLGEM" LastActivityDate="2010-10-25T18:55:22.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-10-25T19:21:18.220" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I could never figure it out with an infant. I could get work done but I lost all kinds of productivity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the kid is old enough to play safely within ear shot (at least 4 years old in my experience) then maybe, depending on the kid. My daughter I could work at home while she played with no problem. My first son I had to keep an eye on but generally there wasn't much problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second son... forget it, he doesn't stop getting into things or climbing or figuring out how to get outside. I cannot even watch a 30 minute television show, let alone getting deep into programming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="ElGringoGrande" LastActivityDate="2010-10-25T19:21:18.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-10-25T20:24:42.323" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's probably obvious, but the important thing is to have some sort of separate environment when you work, and you, your children and your spouse have to realize that you are &quot;at work&quot;, even if you're at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can do that (for example with a reasonably quiet home office and clear rules for &quot;at work&quot; vs &quot;at home&quot;), working at home is great because not having to commute gives you more flexibility in scheduling your time and also more net time that you can, but don't have to, use for work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The downside is that you usually don't have any colleagues around you when you work at home. I guess, depending on your colleagues, this might be a plus, but I've been working on my own for the past two years, and it starts getting tiresome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I set up shop with my startup in an office just down the street, and I think that gives me the best of both worlds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Hanno Fietz" LastActivityDate="2010-10-25T20:24:42.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-11-16T21:52:56.063" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm late to the party, but I have a little bit to add.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been working from home with an infant/toddler for over a year.  No daycare, mom works part time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The main difference is the social aspect.  The secondary one is you have to take your normal amount of telecommuting discipline and multiply it by 5.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As everyone else has said (it's the best advice) you have to have a home office and very strong boundaries.  I was pretty horrible at this the first time around, if mom needed a nap or anything else I'd jump in and help out to be super dad.  Then I ended up sleeping 2-3 broken hours a night trying to get a full days work in while helping with nighttime feedings.  I got terribly sick six weeks after my son was born.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Along with that, I need a set time to spend time with my kids.  For 4 hours a night, that's family time and my cell is turned off.  I don't work in an industry where something can't wait 4 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When my son was 3-8 months, I always tried to get work done during his morning naps.  You have to be able to divide your work into manageable chunks.  I'd try to let him scoot around my office while I answered email.  I have to track my hours, so I found Timesnapper (or equivalent) to be invaluable.  Before that I was always shortchanging my actual work done and putting in a ton of extra late night hours. I also enjoyed the reassurance that I was actually putting in a productive day.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you're an employee, be completely transparent with your coworkers and management.  If you're &quot;working&quot; with a baby in the background, you shouldn't hide that.  Not to mention the agony of a newborn nap interrupted 5 minutes in by an untimely phone call.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you choose to give up daycare or the equivalent, you're giving up sleep.  There's only so many hours in a day, and if you're expected to put in 8+ at work, and you want to put in 8+ with your family...it's got to come from somewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This applies to all aspects of parenting, but you have to be extremely flexible, and hopefully your employer is too.  Kids get sick, cars break down, life happens during 9-5 and you're there.  IF you would get a phone call about it at work, now it's going to be something you're dealing with in person.  Unfortunately, as a telecommuter there's this sense of guilt that you're getting away with something, as if you wouldn't leave work if your kid was heading to the hospital.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You have to learn how to tune out the house noises as well.  Kids are loud.  If you prefer a quiet workspace you'll need to work around that.  You also have to ignore your parental instincts to a large extent and trust the other parent/caregiver has the screaming and crashing handled.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There will be lots of interruptions in a given week, regardless of the barriers you put up.  I had to modify my work habits to be more deliberate of what I was working on (I do hourly journals).  Try to schedule designated interruption times (lunch, coffee grab) and  embrace the good with the bad of working from home in a busy house.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" OwnerDisplayName="Steve Jackson" LastActivityDate="2010-11-16T21:52:56.063" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2010-11-17T09:52:56.753" Score="56" Body="&lt;p&gt;What most of the answers imply but don't out and out say which should be made absolutely clear is that if you're the one caring for the child (as opposed to just being in the house at the same time as the child and the other parent/nanny/carer) it's close to impossible in the long term.  Generally the workable situations people talk about assuming another carer in the house with the child at least part time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make no mistake, children are demanding.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the early months they sleep a lot but not in a nice predictable way and not in large chunks the way you'd like them to (a baby's sleep cycle is 40 minutes long and while they may sleep more than one cycle at a time you can't count on it).  In the early days they're also feeding every 4 hours - something that will take between 20 minutes and over an hour plus there's changing and so on.  Remember too that this goes on 24 hours a day - you're not getting a nice solid 8 hours a day to recover so don't assume any time the baby is asleep is time you can work, most of it you'll be recovering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they get older they do sleep for longer and get more predictable but at that point they also start moving around (crawling starts somewhere between 6 and 12 months, walking between, say, 9 and 18 months) and demanding more attention.  At that point they are absolutely full time when they're awake and by this point sleep during the day is maybe 2 hours total (in either one or two blocks).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they're in bed at night (if you're lucky from about 3 months you'll get 11 hours or so with just one scheduled break for a bottle - though there are likely to be unscheduled breaks in there where you need to go and comfort them) you need to get all the stuff done you didn't during the day - washing, ironing, you've got to eat something yourself and generally run the house.  And you've got to try and sleep because you'll be exhausted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: Incidentally, in the UK, where parents have the right to apply to work from home (and the employer has to grant it if it's reasonable, though reasonable is a very slippery term in this context), a separate working environment and childcare during working hours are an absolute prerequisite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1825" OwnerDisplayName="Jon Hopkins" LastActivityDate="2011-07-19T10:03:47.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 2.5" />
  <row Id="3360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3085" CreationDate="2011-11-10T18:05:55.247" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From a psychological perspective, use of punishment is, in most instances, less successful than use of reward to shape a behaviour. However, punishment is often misused by parents. We know that many are too rough, but the reason why we have so many parents frazzled by undisciplined children is that most of us are not using strong enough punishment. It is hard to use strong positive punishments (punishing by adding something, like pain for example), like corporal punishment, in the intensity (or in a timeframe that is close, or contingent, enough) necessary. Negative punishment (punishment by taking something away) can be more effective, and is easier to administer. Take away his freedoms, his toys. You will still need to be careful to administer punishment in the correct intensity. For example, negative punishment for speeding (fines) is not a strong enough punishment or deterrent to be effective. If a 3 year jail sentence was handed out for exceeding 5km/h above the limit (obviously excessive), I don't think it would be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case of hot saucing, it is a positive punishment intended to cause pain, and can be treated like other corporal punishments. That is, I wouldn't recommend it, unless you have a very high degree of expertise in behavioural shaping. In my opinion, though, it is still a notch above spanking/hitting, as there is no potential for real physical harm. Sticking to rewards and strong enough (salient) negative punishment, reserving positive punishments for few, occasional cases. Keep in mind that positive punishment does not necessarily mean corporal punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1827" LastActivityDate="2011-11-10T18:05:55.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3341" CreationDate="2011-11-10T19:48:10.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's quite common for children to first overgeneralize their words, then make them more specific as they mature.  For example, &quot;ball&quot; might mean &quot;anything round&quot; or &quot;a toy.&quot;  One of my kids called every man &quot;daddy&quot; for a while.  For a lot of kids, &quot;daddy&quot; or &quot;momma&quot; simply refers to anyone who takes care of them rather than a specific individual.  My daughter uses the word &quot;pretty&quot; to describe everything from clothing to hair accessories.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They do a lot of word reuse if it seems close enough.  Our daughter knows the word &quot;brush&quot; and calls our cat Buffy &quot;brushy.&quot;  Our son calls &quot;macaroni and cheese&quot; &quot;mac and only cheese.&quot;  The distinctions and subtleties of language take longer to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-11-10T19:48:10.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2011-11-11T01:19:49.007" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In language development, the ma sound is much harder than the da sound. Generally speaking, babies will make the sounds in this order wa, ba, da followed down the line with ma. Until they have worked through making the ma sound, saying mommy is highly unlikely. I would guess the the m sound amid frustration might be your baby's way of saying mommy because the baby wants mommy. My daughter says Daddy amid smiles often, but only says Mama amid tears or under duress. At first this made me sad and frustrated, then I realized that she was saying mama when she actually needed/wanted me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Repetition is generally believed to be the best route to learning a word. Consider also there are some studies that support the idea that higher lilting tones are easier for babies to imitate, which is what they are initially doing when they are saying words. There are many theories about how language is developed, and there does not seem to be any 100% guarantee that repetition will work. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T01:19:49.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3363" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-11T09:20:35.200" Score="2" ViewCount="100" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1/is-bribing-children-with-cash-incentives-a-good-idea&quot;&gt;Is bribing children with cash incentives a good idea?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it appropriate? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good, because action-result chain is clear? To get something, you should work; your work now is learning at school.&#xA;And it feels like game (you are collecting scores = dollars), and games motivate humans. Well, money even more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bad, because it is false motivation?&#xA;No interest in learning as such?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS Someone with reputation over 150, please create tag 'grades'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPD Looks like my question is subset of this one:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1/is-bribing-children-with-cash-incentives-a-good-idea&quot;&gt;Is bribing children with cash incentives a good idea?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1314" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T09:27:49.373" Title="Money for good grades?" Tags="|money|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2011-11-11T12:59:46.113" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2011-11-11T10:25:47.370" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple answer is yes - this is definitely doable. But it is hard work, and you need to build working mechanisms around the needs of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the baby is brand new it's very easy - they are stationary and relatively predictable (e. g. every two or three hours you need to feed and change them, then they'll sleep) so you can even code with them on your lap or held (all programmers can type one handed, right:-) and give them attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the toddling stage it does get difficult - they want to have continuous attention and are mobile. Get used to small snippets of coding time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It gets a lot easier if your partner is also at home - my technique was to close the door to the office for an hour at a time to show I was at work and not to be disturbed, but I made sure I had a break at the end of each hour to help with looking after the baby, provide some adult conversation etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T13:47:17.957" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T13:47:17.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3211" CreationDate="2011-11-11T17:48:07.073" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he is looking for control.  This is not unusual at this age and very frustrating for parents.  One way to look at it is ... great his development is right on track! Now it is time to keep it moving in the right direction.  If he says &quot;no&quot; he doesn't want it, then fusses when you put it away, give him one more chance.  If he again ignores it, put it away again. This time ignore the fussing (I know it is hard) and say &quot;you can play/hold/do something else now.&quot; Try to find a distraction, another toy, a song, anything that interests him. Once he sees that he can have your attention and control in other ways this will stop. And congratulations, he seems to be right on target!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-31T12:40:29.997" LastActivityDate="2019-05-31T12:40:29.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2011-11-11T17:52:14.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pottytrainwithbabysigns.com/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Signs Potty Program&lt;/a&gt;.  I have heard from many families that it works.  Even though it says baby in the name it works for older children.  It includes a train whistle and is based around a train theme, so it is a fun way to get kids excited. I am using it with my little one and she is doing great with the program.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-11T21:45:00.297" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T21:45:00.297" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2011-11-11T18:02:45.743" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The word mommy typically comes after the word Daddy.  I am a mom of 4 and have been teaching infants and toddlers for over 25 years.  My first 2 children would always say Daddy (never mommy) and to be honest there was a little &quot;hurt&quot; that my name seemed to never be said.  However, we did use sign language with our children, so even though they didn't say Mommy, they did sign it.  Maybe this would help your wife.  The sign for Mommy is an open five hand with thumb placed on the chin.  If you use the sign while you are saying Mommy your little one should start seeing the connection.  Then if he wants to say mom, but can't, he can still &quot;say&quot; her name.  Best wishes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T18:02:45.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3341" CreationDate="2011-11-11T18:12:06.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love this stage of development because your child is starting to show you his interests.  As parents, we often think we &quot;know&quot; which words are important for our kids to know, but for the first of many times he is showing you that he is an individual.  Most importantly flood him with language, talk about everything! You will see more and more what he likes, wants, and needs to talk about. Enjoy following your child's lead as he determines what you will be discussing over the next few years! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is choosing his words based on his interests.  This is very typical and giving him the exposure to words will help to build his vocabulary. There are some patterns based on oral motor skills and what he can physically say, but also children develop their own pattern based on their own likes, wants and needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastEditorUserId="1829" LastEditDate="2011-11-11T18:41:04.917" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T18:41:04.917" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3320" CreationDate="2011-11-11T18:22:09.433" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you have to model for the other children and your child how to respond to a bully.  And although we throw this word around a lot, it sounds like that is what was happening, your child was being bullied. Studies have shown that when people stand up for the &quot;victim&quot; the bully will stop or move on.  So, in this case I would suggest just simply saying, &quot;That is not nice. You wouldn't like it if people were making fun of your name.&quot; If it continued, I would find a way to leave the situation. I would explain that we are not &quot;running away&quot; but let your child know that he doesn't have to hang around with people who are not kind to him.  I wouldn't worry about what the other mother thought about the comment or your leaving.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Your child needs to know that you are there to stand up for him, then he will have the courage and self-worth to stand up for himself in the future...and maybe the next time this child begins teasing another child, your child (or another) will follow your lead!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T18:22:09.433" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3251" CreationDate="2011-11-11T18:34:25.627" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe this can be a learning lesson for her.  Be honest. Let her know that it is expensive to take lessons and let her choose which she wants to do.  She doesn't need to know all the details of the finances, but letting her know that classes cost money and that we have to make choices with our money can be a really important life lesson.  The other thing is to let her know that after the season is over she can switch if she changes her mind.  At four, she will have so many opportunities for her to explore, there is no need to force her into one or the other. &#xA;Most importantly...Enjoy whichever she decides - for now!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T18:34:25.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2994" CreationDate="2011-11-11T19:11:57.547" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have seen many families use basic sign language along with the two languages to help the child to learn both languages. It doesn't create a third language (thus more confusion)as many people think, but rather creates a &quot;visual bridge&quot; between the two languages.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I work with military families around the world who have found that having the visual sign helps the child understand that when mom says &quot;milk&quot; and dad say &quot;leche&quot; it means the same thing. The same findings were found in research found at UC Davis- see more here-  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.babysigns.com/index.cfm?id=64&quot;&gt;https://www.babysigns.com/index.cfm?id=64&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to many families that I have spoken with, this approach is very helpful when both parents do not speak both languages. It has also been helpful for the adults in learning the other language, because they too see the visual connection between the words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I am not sure where you are located in the US, but many colleges and larger communities have groups where Hindi is spoken at dinners, cultural events, and programs. You may want to search for these activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastActivityDate="2011-11-11T19:11:57.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2416" CreationDate="2011-11-13T11:06:35.340" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used two mechanisms:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, the controlled crying, as HedgeMage suggested. We had varying results with this - we had much higher success with our second and third children than the first, but for all three it was certainly hard for us. All the guidance we had was that the child wouldn't mind, but we found it very stressful.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Of much greater utility - the full size beds we bought were cot beds; set up so initially they have side rails which can be removed when the child gets bigger. Because these were full size beds we wanted to fill the extra space so added a lot of toys, and we found they would often play with a couple of favourite toys for a short while then put themselves back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it just seemed like a friendly space for them once we had their toys in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-13T11:06:35.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3373" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3387" CreationDate="2011-11-13T16:07:48.353" Score="18" ViewCount="1320" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (2.5) loves colouring books, but she uses pretty much one every day. Could someone recommend a decent free online resource of printable materials for children? (at 2.5 years of age these would be mainly colouring books, but maybe some games would be more appropriate for older children). Ideally in pdf format for high-quality printouts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2023-03-07T17:32:45.167" Title="Free printable materials for children" Tags="|pre-schooler|books|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3374" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3377" CreationDate="2011-11-13T16:30:05.167" Score="13" ViewCount="91703" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is currently 1, and we're contemplating a second child. We're not super happy with our current stroller and are thinking of getting a new one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're debating the utility/need of a tandem stroller. The idea is to have our second child when the first is 2 1/2 - 3, so the question comes to, &quot;&lt;strong&gt;At what age can I expect my daughter to not need a stroller?&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am of the opinion that my daughter, while able to walk, won't walk quickly, and will get tired, thus we'll need a stroller to accommodate her, but my wife isn't so sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1833" LastActivityDate="2024-03-06T00:09:08.423" Title="What age can I expect to not need a stroller?" Tags="|toddler|walking|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3374" CreationDate="2011-11-13T17:22:52.417" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have the funds, get a stroller that can accommodate both kids. In theory, you do not &amp;quot;need&amp;quot; a stroller for a child who walks well enough to keep up with you. In practice, it doesn't work that way, because toddlers and preschoolers get tired, and bored, and consequently difficult. Nothing ruins an afternoon out like an unhappy child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The common experience in my extended family, which has a dozen children now between 15 and 22, is that the strollers remained useful until the kids outgrew them. They gradually were used less and less as the children got more mobility and endurance, and migrated from person carriers to stuff carriers as the kids got older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, the stroller allows for outings to be extended and be more fun for all, because the tired kids can rest or sleep or tune out, and more things to keep kids amused can be brought along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A brother-in-law got a &lt;a href=&quot;https://a.co/d/0dsHnoP&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;large wagon&lt;/a&gt; that filled a similar purpose for the youngest kids until 7 or 8, and is still used for keeping stuff at outdoor events. We go borrow it for our annual pilgrimage to the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.lacountyfair.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;LA County Fair&lt;/a&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2024-03-06T00:09:08.423" LastActivityDate="2024-03-06T00:09:08.423" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2011-11-13T17:45:19.210" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One quick idea that comes to mind is all the line-art or black-and-white &lt;strong&gt;clip art in your computer's office suite.&lt;/strong&gt; If you have MS Office then there is a huge library of clip art, and even more available online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could select a bunch of suitable images and print them out. If you do this, do a quick calculation on printing costs first, because it might still be cheaper to buy a stack of books than a stack of ink cartridges...!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-13T17:45:19.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3374" CreationDate="2011-11-13T17:59:38.663" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Not &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; a stroller: at around 2½ years of age.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;As soon as your daughter can walk adequate distances, the stroller is no longer technically needed. But  of course the acceptable distance grows shorter when she's tired or in a bad mood. Even for you it can be very convenient for bringing along small amounts of necessary luggage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Not &lt;em&gt;desire&lt;/em&gt; a stroller: at around 4 years of age?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Depending on how lazy she will become (or be allowed to become), and depending on other modes of carriage (tomjedrz's wagon suggestion), kids would of course love to be chauffeured around for as long as possible, until their curiosity and impatience makes them want to explore on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an alternative, consider &lt;strong&gt;carrying the new baby in a carrier&lt;/strong&gt; while keeping the daughter in the stroller. Babies can be comfortably carried for at least a year, especially if you use suitable equipment.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'm personally against the &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babybjorn.com/products/baby-carriers/&quot;&gt;Baby Björn&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; type of carriers because of inadequate leg support -- I'd recommend a sitting position like in the &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.manduca-baby-carrier.eu/&quot;&gt;Manduca&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; -- but these details are veering away from your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-13T17:59:38.663" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3374" CreationDate="2011-11-14T12:46:31.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Up to about 4 - same as @Torben.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ended up going through about 8 buggies/strollers with our 3 kids. There was one which had a full reclining position and sunshade which worked very well on holidays in the mediterranean when they were up to 4 years old - in the heat they got tired very quickly so having somewhere they could sleep was essential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also kept one just for travelling - very light, with a shoulder strap, so we could carry it through airports, just to make life easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be fair though, we also had a Baby Bjorn (up to about 8 months), a sling (0 - 6 months) and 2 rucksack type carriers (up to 2 years) - and used them all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-14T12:46:31.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2011-11-14T15:15:52.950" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just play silly games (with silly faces, of course) making the &quot;M M M M MMmmmm&quot; sound (and have a toy present so it's not the only thing you're both doing). We had the same thing with both of our children and that 'M' sound can be a tough one. I found it is much better to just go for the sound than direct encouragement to say a given word as the latter just leads to frustration. Once he's &quot;accidentally&quot; practised the sound he'll probably stumble across saying &quot;Mommy&quot; before long and you'll all be happy :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2011-11-14T15:15:52.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2011-11-14T15:19:19.353" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Often if you go to the websites of her favourite characters websites (Peppa pig, for example) you'll find things to print for colouring in (&quot;things to do&quot; or &quot;activities&quot; normally). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another approach you may want to consider is something that can be reset, for example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) White-board&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Blackboard&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) A reusable colouring book like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.crayola.com/products/list.cfm?categories=COLORING%20BOOK,DISNEY&quot;&gt;ReColoritz&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastEditorUserId="1789" LastEditDate="2011-11-14T15:24:44.163" LastActivityDate="2011-11-14T15:24:44.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3382" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3393" CreationDate="2011-11-14T18:19:46.353" Score="4" ViewCount="282" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the most important legal and financial steps for new parents in the US? For example, establishing a will, purchasing life insurance, setting up a college fund, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1837" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-04T12:28:07.947" LastActivityDate="2019-07-04T12:28:07.947" Title="What are important legal and financial steps for new parents?" Tags="|parents|money|first-time|usa|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3383" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3415" CreationDate="2011-11-14T23:23:58.170" Score="8" ViewCount="551" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our children are 3 and 10 months, and we're thinking about finding a regular babysitter so that we can get out of the house a little more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the past we've relied on nearby family, a high school aged neighbor, and another couple in our neighborhood that we're good friends with. Unfortunately, though we know a lot of people, most of whom are happy to take our kids, not many of them are geographically close to our home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But these days...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our nearby family is less and less of an option as they appear to be starting their own baseball team ;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The high school aged neighbor is no longer trustworthy (He was house-sitting for other friends in the neighborhood and decided to take their car for a joy ride... when he was 13! His dad's response? &quot;But he's a good driver!&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The couple we would sort of trade babysitting with work opposite schedules and have limited time to see each other, let alone take our kids. We feel bad asking, and have a hard time scheduling even when we do ask...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'm hoping there's like an eHarmony for finding babysitters. There's got to be - I've seen one for dog walkers! Somewhere that parents can leave comments/referrals, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm leery of using something like Craigslist because of the prevalence of scams/etc. We've asked our daycare provider for a few references but we're still waiting to hear back from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're a good 20+ minute drive from the nearest university. Is that too far to ask a college student to drive? (Come to think of it, maybe not? I regularly drove longer for a $7/hour job when I was in college...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone heard of anything like this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1839" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-02T16:23:31.020" LastActivityDate="2023-07-07T16:59:56.087" Title="What are some good places to find trustworthy babysitters?" Tags="|babysitting|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3310" CreationDate="2011-11-14T23:43:19.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your first course of action would be to ask the teachrer what areas of development are a concern.  Is he &quot;immature&quot; in physcial, social, cognitive, or language development?  Once she gives you a little better understanding of what behaviors she is seeing, then you will be able to look at options with more confidence that something should or could be done.&#xA;Remember that children each develop at their own rate. As a teacher for over 25 years, I can assure you that maturity can not happen faster than your child is ready. You can however provide opportunities to work on certain skills based on the recommendations of the teacher.&#xA;It sounds as like the teacher recognizes that this is developmental and will resolve itself over time, as does the pediatrician, so I would trust them, but if it makes you feel better, ask more questions and look for opportunities to work on the skills the teacher has concerns about.  Maybe you can share more specific concerns with the group once the teacher gives you a more clear picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastActivityDate="2011-11-14T23:43:19.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3383" CreationDate="2011-11-14T23:51:12.837" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sittercity.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SitterCity.com&lt;/a&gt; is a good site to find sitters.  My niece just recently posted a profile and it is actively used in my parenting circles.  There is a short term free membership as well as a paid membership. I know my niece had a background check, had to supply references, and much more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other place that I have found success is at a local church.  I was able to get a list of sitters from the nursery. Most of these were high school students who volunteer in the church.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastEditorUserId="1839" LastEditDate="2011-11-15T00:01:43.000" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T00:01:43.000" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3237" CreationDate="2011-11-14T23:56:09.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would depend on if you are using breastmilk or formula to mix the cereal. Check the recommendations.  Remember that if it has come into contact with your baby's saliva then it should be used or disgarded more quickly than if you mix it in different container than you use for feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastActivityDate="2011-11-14T23:56:09.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2011-11-15T00:02:57.730" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are a few places that I have found that are kind of home school related but I figure I will use as color pages to help my kids learn as they are playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mrprintables.com/printable-alphabet-book.html&quot;&gt;http://www.mrprintables.com/printable-alphabet-book.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.schoolsparks.com/kindergarten-worksheets&quot;&gt;http://www.schoolsparks.com/kindergarten-worksheets&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some pinterest searchs that may have what you need:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pinterest.com/search/?q=kids+color+pages&quot;&gt;http://pinterest.com/search/?q=kids+color+pages&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pinterest.com/search/?q=kids+printables&quot;&gt;http://pinterest.com/search/?q=kids+printables&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T00:02:57.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3388" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3229" CreationDate="2011-11-15T00:16:36.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found over the years to word my questions and directions carefully.  If I will accept &quot;yes&quot; or &quot;no&quot; as an answer, then I ask a question that invites a yes or no answer.  If not, then I ask a question which allows for an either &lt;strong&gt;__ or __&lt;/strong&gt; answer.  *I believe in the rule that you give children no more options than the # of years they are in age.  So for 2 years she gets 2 chioces.  If she picks a third, you respond &quot;that isn't a choice do you want &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;or &lt;strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;__&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;  It will be trying for a while, but the key is being consistant! You must stick with if even when you are frustrated and tired! If you get tired of the battle (and it can feel like a battle) and give in, then it will make her question you more often. Stick with it and before too long she will realize that she needs to do this or that. &#xA;I thikn it is alright to also let her know when she gets to be the one who makes the choices.  You can even say &quot;mommy/daddy get to pick where we are going.  When we there you can pick what we do first.&quot; Help her to understand that she does have control over somethings and you have control over others.  This is a hard lesson to learn ... for kids and parents! Besh of luck and hang in there!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T00:16:36.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3389" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3391" CreationDate="2011-11-15T00:49:28.390" Score="10" ViewCount="16451" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been feeding our 15-month-old deli ham for dinner pretty regularly.  Recently, a family member was alarmed that we were feeding him any kind of deli meat because it is &quot;bad for them&quot;.  We typically get Prima Della Black Forrest Ham or Oven Roasted Chicken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As usual, the collective wisdom of Google muddies the water, so I'm wondering if deli meats are a big no-no?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, can somebody point us to a realistic meal plan?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1073" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-05T15:11:04.013" LastActivityDate="2019-09-05T15:11:04.013" Title="Are deli cut meats bad for a 15-month-old?" Tags="|toddler|health|food|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3389" CreationDate="2011-11-15T01:52:37.387" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many of my friends have fed their kids deli meats for a while, and our local deli is known to not use any preservatives or special means of preparation any more than slicing it in front of you, weighing it, and handing you a bag full of meat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking my friends, whom collectively had two girls and a boy; they say it's been fine for them. No allergic or allergic seeming reactions, odd diseases, nothing that Google says should even be taken as &quot;research citation&quot; frankly; so there's little for me to quote but experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always check out meal plans though if you are interested:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mealplansite.com/age-toddler.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.mealplansite.com/age-toddler.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly you should always use your own information, experience, friends, and judgement when making decisions about what your child eats. None of my friends have dealt with meal planning before, just feeding the child what they think is applicable; between rice cereal, oats, some solid foods at one year, and going from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1840" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-10T09:56:26.080" LastActivityDate="2018-04-10T09:56:26.080" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3389" CreationDate="2011-11-15T02:35:56.743" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your family member may be confusing the advice to avoid all deli meat for pregnant mothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deli meats and other precooked meats put pregnant women at a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/406_is-it-safe-to-eat-deli-meats-when-im-pregnant_1246923.bc&quot;&gt;high risk for listeriosis&lt;/a&gt; and are advised to avoid them unless cooked to steaming hot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once a child is transitioned to solid foods, the only main concerns are common allergens (seafood, tree nuts, etc.), and, of course, healthy food habits.  There's nothing wrong with deli meats beyond the normal high-sodium/high-fat factors that impact any adult's consumption.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T02:35:56.743" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2011-11-15T02:53:19.600" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I saw a link to the following website and remembered your question. This site has paperdolls from 27 different countries you can print, color, and play with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/slideshow/exploring-cultures-paper-dolls-world/paper-dolls-world-asia-I/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.education.com/slideshow/exploring-cultures-paper-dolls-world/paper-dolls-world-asia-I/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1834" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T02:53:19.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3382" CreationDate="2011-11-15T07:03:29.397" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is a list based on our experiences, and what I was able to research:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Identification&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Apply for (and order copies of) birth certificate&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Apply for social security card&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Apply for passport (if desired)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Legal&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Update your will:&#xA;    &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;      &lt;li&gt;Name a guardian for your child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;      &lt;li&gt;Designate what your child should inherit, and how that money should be used (if you don't specify how much to set aside for education, etc., the courts will)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;      &lt;li&gt;Name a trustee for your child's finances&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;    &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Prepare a Caregiver Affidavit (this names someone to care for your child if you are incapacitated temporarily)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Prepare a Durable Power of Attorney over Finances (this allows someone to manage your finances if you are unable)&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Financial / Medical&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;College / education savings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Life insurance for yourself (if desired)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Set your bank accounts to be payable on death to your chosen guardians&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Add your child to your health insurance (if vision and dental plans are separate, they can usually wait until the child is 6 months or a year old)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T07:03:29.397" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3383" CreationDate="2011-11-15T08:47:59.923" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Austria&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kinderbetreuung.at&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.kinderbetreuung.at&lt;/a&gt; covers all of Austria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/strong&gt; I have no experience with using this service (i.e. it might be crap or it might be gold). It was simply the only online resource I could find for Austria. I have asked for alternatives/recommendations/experiences in an &lt;a href=&quot;http://parents.at&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Austrian parenting forum&lt;/a&gt; and will report back if anything useful comes of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I know the asker is in the USA, but the question is universally useful and it would be great to have answers for as many countries as possible!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T14:08:09.153" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3395" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3397" CreationDate="2011-11-15T13:19:14.080" Score="4" ViewCount="1205" Body="&lt;p&gt;Following on the heels of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3383/what-are-some-good-places-to-find-trustworthy-babysitters&quot;&gt;What are some good places to find trustworthy babysitters?&lt;/a&gt;, once we are interviewing potential babysitters, what should we look for to identify them as trustworthy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there's &quot;chemistry&quot;, where you just gauge the vibe you get from talking to the person, and how well your kids like them during the interview; but that's very subjective and going to differ from person to person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm more interested in things that the dedicated babysitter can do to help assure the parents that their children are in good hands:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;CPR and First Aid certifications would make me feel better, but I doubt I would have made the time to get them at that age&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;INA - International Nanny Association (which I only mention because it's mentioned on sittercity.com)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A background check would be nice, but performing it myself or through a service could be expensive/invasive/time consuming and it would be nice if it was just something offered through a service.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else should you look for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1839" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-05T13:08:13.723" LastActivityDate="2018-11-05T13:08:13.723" Title="What credentials are available to identify a babysitter as trustworthy?" Tags="|safety|babysitting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2011-11-15T15:38:08.433" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine went shopping with her son and let him pick out 10 matchbox cars.  They then got taped to the wall and each time he went poop in the potty he got to choose one.  By the time he got the last one they no longer had any issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could use the same theory with whatever it is that interests your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T15:38:08.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3395" CreationDate="2011-11-15T15:41:20.527" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing to have is references.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The references should be the names and numbers of people that the sitter worked for &lt;em&gt;recently&lt;/em&gt;, and they should be people that are willing to talk about their relationship with the sitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not accept written letters of reference.  If the parents feel good about the babysitter's relationship with them and their children, they should be willing to take the time to help the babysitter get more work.  Talking in person gives you a chance to find out more information about the babysitter's habits and style from a parent's perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, getting the references does no good for you if you do not actually &lt;em&gt;call&lt;/em&gt; the references and follow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T15:41:20.527" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3301" CreationDate="2011-11-15T15:45:01.167" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This year what we did was take our kids out on a day trip where we ran them ragged.  We took them to a park with a big hill and let them run and play as much as they wanted to.  We kept them up a half hour past their normal bedtime by getting home a bit later and going through their normal evening routine a half hour later.  They were so tired that they slept right through the extra hour and got up at their normal time the next day.  We were already on track for a normal day when we got up in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2011-11-15T15:45:01.167" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3395" CreationDate="2011-11-16T05:30:09.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that non-family references are important.  I have actually received calls from families looking for sitters because I had been listed as a reference.  I would also see if your local parks and rec, hospital or Fire station offers a baby sitters course. I have found the sitters who have taken this type of course to be very prepared.  The last one came ready with activities, and asked for me to show her the first aid kit and fire extinguisher before I left for the evening.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1829" LastActivityDate="2011-11-16T05:30:09.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2011-11-16T10:30:43.877" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can search &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/imghp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Google Images&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bing.com/?scope=images&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bing images&lt;/a&gt; for a character of her choice with  keywords like &lt;code&gt;coloring pages&lt;/code&gt; and let her select from the thumbnails which image to print.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/imghp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Google Images&lt;/a&gt; selecting for black and white images can save you the need for additional keywords.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sites that come up in the search often have a collection of coloring pages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1476" LastActivityDate="2011-11-16T10:30:43.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3401" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4113" CreationDate="2011-11-16T15:43:18.267" Score="14" ViewCount="901" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for strategies to improve my child's learning skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want my child to be a life-long learner -- to pick up new things easily, and to learn even when not being given formal instruction (for example, by picking up a book on something that interests him and learning to do it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What skills are involved with learning, how can they be improved, and how can I observe and evaluate that improvement?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2011-11-17T15:04:44.207" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T13:40:43.927" Title="How can I help my child learn to learn better?" Tags="|teaching|learning|independence|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3402" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3416" CreationDate="2011-11-16T20:05:14.687" Score="0" ViewCount="576" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking for a standardize test for measuring a child's &quot;learning to learn&quot; skill. While IQ, EQ, etc. is related, I'm looking for a test built for the sole focus of measuring these skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T14:25:51.673" Title="How do you measure a child's &quot;learning to learn&quot; skills?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3403" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3423" CreationDate="2011-11-16T20:41:10.863" Score="14" ViewCount="2401" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can you best handle this?  Coming off as too strong and authoritative might invite &quot;rebellion&quot;.  Too lenient makes it seem okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best response for driving home the dangers and risks of smoking, while getting your child to actually listen to you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2018-07-06T18:29:22.777" Title="How do you respond to a teenager who has started to smoke?" Tags="|behavior|health|discipline|teen|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3404" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3436" CreationDate="2011-11-16T21:33:38.823" Score="22" ViewCount="5052" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that today's world has gone mad in consumerism and materialism. Parents give their kids presents on all kinds of occasions where presents didn't use to be given, like random holidays throughout the year, and name days, and half-birthdays, school-end and school-start, and so on. Stores sell Christmas candy and decorations in &lt;em&gt;September!&lt;/em&gt; After that, it's not even New Year yet and the stores are gearing up for Easter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what's gone wrong, but it just seems wrong to me to show kids that they can have lots of things they wish for, for no special reason. When I was a kid, I got birthday presents and Christmas presents. End of story. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to be that kind of parent, but I am surrounded by other parents who think it's fine. This will likely cause some friction when my child feels cheated out of presents that other kids get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In what ways can I teach my child that he cannot &quot;demand&quot; gifts?&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;I want to teach the idea that getting gifts is not a right. Gifts are only for very special occasions and for showing appreciation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-08T15:12:26.517" LastActivityDate="2018-11-08T15:12:26.517" Title="How can I teach my child not to be greedy?" Tags="|social-development|presents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3404" CreationDate="2011-11-16T22:02:40.773" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I find giving presents on &quot;special days&quot; is over rated. People response better to random acts of gift giving and reward based gifts. If it was me, I'd just leave gifts on special days to grandparents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastActivityDate="2011-11-16T22:02:40.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2011-11-17T03:12:03.750" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many pages two of my favorite are:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.coloring.ws/coloring.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.coloring.ws/coloring.html&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first one is great because there is a wide range of pages and can be searched by something that interests your child. The second on is Crayola's site - this site is great because it has more than just coloring pages, it has a variety of projects as well, which may be great especially as your child grows. I have found if you are looking for something specific, search that topic and coloring page and you will generally find free pages to print off for example &quot;bear coloring page&quot; will provide you an extensive list of pages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T03:12:03.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3404" CreationDate="2011-11-17T03:39:40.260" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that as with many things, it is always important to explain to your child that different families do things differently and the way we do things is that gifts are for special occasions... It is important to help your child find ways to have intrinsic value for many of the occasions I see parents giving presents for. In the case of things like school start or end, talk about what the value of that occurrence is. I have not heard about name days and half birthdays, thankfully, but firmly agree with you there there is far to much value placed on extrinsic motivations in the form of gifts for so many things that consumerism is rampant! In closing, it is always important to teach your child your values and stick to your guns - it is good to be different and kids need to understand that to be empowered to be individuals as they grow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T03:39:40.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3409" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-17T04:32:52.240" Score="6" ViewCount="339" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently moved to a bigger apartment complex which has swimming pool, play area etc. My son who is 2 years and 9 months old is very excited about the place. Most of the times he sticks to the play area playing with sand, sliders and swing. But sometimes he walks near to small fountains near kids area. It's a garden fountain and though it's just 10cm deep, he peeps in and tries to catch water. Also he wants us to take him near the swimming pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much ever we explain, at that moment he says &quot;no water&quot;. But he continues doing same next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is not understanding the seriousness of water. We have not yet started teaching swimming to him.  How to explain him about the dangers of water? At the same time we don’t want him to be afraid of the water as he has to learn swimming some time sooner. Please help me how to resolve this issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am thinking is if we allow him to the kids' pool with proper floaties, swim vests, or inflatable tubes and of course we will be present all time, he will enjoy and also he will be satisfied with water and stop pestering us by going near fountains and pools himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please guide me if you have any other suggestions/tips.  Also whats the right age to start swimming classes for him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="620" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-08-20T12:06:14.857" LastActivityDate="2019-08-20T12:06:14.857" Title="How do you keep a toddler safe around water?" Tags="|toddler|safety|age-appropriate|water|swimming|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3404" CreationDate="2011-11-17T04:51:14.493" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simple answer to your question is to only give and allow gifts to be given on special occasions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there is a reason we give gifts: it &lt;a href=&quot;http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/2007/12/the_gift_of_giving.php&quot;&gt;strengthens our relationships&lt;/a&gt; (this link is interesting commentary on the subject). There is much pleasure to be gained in the giving, probably more than in the receiving. Why would we want to restrict spreading happiness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that &lt;strong&gt;instead of focusing on the why or when, focus on the what and the how&lt;/strong&gt;. Encouraging your children to give thoughtful gifts for any reason whatsoever will strengthen their generosity rather than their greed because it feels so good to cause other people's happiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Restrict the budget for gifts so that your child needs to use their creativity and ingenuity for those special occasions. &lt;strong&gt;Limit &quot;things&quot; in general&lt;/strong&gt;. One of the parents I know asked that we restrict our gifts and made it known that there would not be lootbags etc. at the party. We were just going to have fun together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they do receive gifts, especially homemade ones, be sure to comment on the thought and consideration that must have gone into it. &lt;strong&gt;Value handmade gifts&lt;/strong&gt; over ones that are purchased and explain why they are more special to you. This will help counteract thoughtless consumerism, which seems to be your major concern and teach them to be gracious recipients. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A last thought from the link above:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;If I don't let you give me a gift, then I'm not encouraging you to think about me and think about things I like. I am preventing you from experiencing the joy of engaging in all those activities. You do people a disservice by not giving them the gift of giving.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T04:51:14.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3411" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-17T05:01:27.233" Score="14" ViewCount="631" Body="&lt;p&gt;With the holidays approaching, many children are scouring fliers and dreaming of things they would love to have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you teach a child to receive gifts graciously, especially when they receive something they don't like, don't want, or already have?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T04:06:48.247" Title="How do you teach a child to receive gifts graciously?" Tags="|holidays|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3404" CreationDate="2011-11-17T09:27:48.127" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While we do give gifts on Christmas and birthdays, the other times we give gifts is as a reward, or a thank you or sometimes just to surprise someone. Our activity is picked up by the children, so sometimes they will make a small present to give to a friend, or to one of us, for no apparent reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We encourage this, and it helps them in understanding that they should never expect a present, but when one is given it is a pleasant surprise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The occasional times they 'demand' a present because their friends are getting one etc., they get a very definite no. They can pay for it out of their pocket money if it is that important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T09:27:48.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3409" CreationDate="2011-11-17T09:34:22.710" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are right in your proposed approach - take him to the proper pool, with all the safety gear, and insist that if he wants to swim, that is what needs to be done &lt;strong&gt;every&lt;/strong&gt; time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Demonstrate how the floaties keep him up, and how without them he will sink - well worth a good splash around in the proper pool letting him feel the difference between safe and supported, and struggling to stay up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case I think a little fright can be a good thing - obviously don't panic the child, but one of the things you can do is be reassuring when in the water with him, so he realises he can't go in water without you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also encourage him by saying that when he is bigger and can show you he can swim without floats, then you can look at other places to swim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T09:34:22.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3383" CreationDate="2011-11-17T14:17:17.733" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Frankly, I wouldn't trust a web site -- it can show you people who &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to babysit, but no reliable enough (for my risk tolerance) information on their trustworthiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best bet is to get recommendations locally -- use your support network.  For us, it was asking our Sensei -- he works with many families, and a dojo like ours is a great place to find responsible young people.  If you belong to a religious institution, your religious leader(s) will probably know young people who share your values.  If you are new to the area and don't have that kind of social support network yet, you might try inquiring at the local high school, or check with the Red Cross (who teach babysitting classes including things like infant CPR, child safety, etc and tend to attract teens who are &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; into babysitting, and of the more responsible ilk that would bother to take a class).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T14:17:17.733" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3402" CreationDate="2011-11-17T14:25:51.673" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A standardized test &lt;em&gt;cannot&lt;/em&gt; measure how well a child learns, because you can't standardize the material or the environment and get a true measure of how the child learns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one can learn material they lack the prerequisites for; e.g. even the brightest 5-year-old won't pick up calculus, not having had all the levels of math leading up to it.  Similarly, presenting material the child has already seen won't tell you anything about how they learn, just what they know.  Learning happens on the edge of what is known and what is unknown, and that edge is somewhere different for every child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every child learns differently.  Some need quiet, others need noise.  Some need to try things out hands-on, and learn directly from experience alone, others learn more from following instructions.  Some take in information best by reading, others through pictures/video, and still others by being talked to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IQ is extremely hard to measure, and it represents a much simpler mental facility -- raw processing power -- than the ability to learn.  I'm afraid that learning ability is completely beyond our ability to put a concrete number to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T14:25:51.673" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3411" CreationDate="2011-11-17T15:25:34.610" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's an age at which you just &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; teach them.  Social lying vs. bad lying is a really, really tough one for kids.  If you are very lucky, by the time your child is 8 or 9 years old, he/she will be socially aware enough to understand that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A person gives you a gift for a desired effect (hopefully, to have done something nice, or to make the recipient happy).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We care about that person, so we don't want to disappoint them or hurt their feelings by pointing out a problem with the gift.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gifts can usually be exchanged if they aren't something we love, or if they are duplicates.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We don't have to lie about the gift to avoid being rude.  Saying something like &quot;That was so nice of you!&quot; or &quot;Thank you for thinking of me!&quot; acknowledges what the person was really after -- making you feel loved and special -- without pretending the gift is the one thing you were dreaming of.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's okay (and encouraged!) to feel good about getting a present, and exchange it anyway.  A good gift-giver gave a gift because he/she wanted you to feel loved and happy.  Feel loved and happy because they took the time to do that, and then feel happy again when that sweater that is two sizes too small turns into a new reading lamp at the service desk.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm lucky in that the culture of my family assumes that all children are capricious and neigh-impossible to buy for, so one should consult their parents before selecting gifts.  If there's any way to encourage your family to feel the same way, I highly recommend it.  I find that while my 8yo is very gracious in getting an unloved gift, he feels &lt;em&gt;guilty&lt;/em&gt; returning them because they were from someone special and he feels he should cherish them whether he likes them or not... there's something to be said for avoiding the conundrum entirely until they are older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T15:25:34.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3382" CreationDate="2011-11-17T16:09:27.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Life Insurance&lt;/strong&gt;. You have someone (your child) now who is completely and solely dependent upon you to take care of them. If something unfortunate were to happen and you were no longer there to provide for them, that would be tragic. Life insurance, like any other insurance, is a necessary evil for parents of young children. Tern life insurance is typically quite affordable in the long run and provides a financial security blanket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also agree with all of @Sarato's comments regarding Legal items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1845" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T16:09:27.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3409" CreationDate="2011-11-17T17:12:00.033" Score="6" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;whats the right age to start swimming classes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's never too early. Or nearly never: once the baby is a few months old it can withstand the health aspects of a public bath, and that's a good time to start with baby-swimming classes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's never too late, either. Ask your local public bath; they probably offer swim training for kids of all ages, often including adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swimming is an important life skill, and so is general water safety awareness. it can be trained at any age and will always provide opportunities for fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please do keep in mind that no amount of floats, vests, tubes, etc. will provide safety -- only permanent adult supervision can prevent accidents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T17:12:00.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3383" CreationDate="2011-11-17T20:22:15.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found a good sitter through care.com. the screening process and feedback from other members helps you be more confident about who to interview. I've hard good things about sittercty as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T20:22:15.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3389" CreationDate="2011-11-17T20:29:11.253" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Deli meats can be high in nitrates. Too much nitrates is bad for babies. But this is a balance and moderation issue, its not like handing a baby a candy bar for lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T20:29:11.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="719" CreationDate="2011-11-17T20:37:48.577" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would change the sippy from milk to water as they should be brushing their teeth between milk and bed, and discourage falling asleep with the sippy IN their mouth. Limiting the volume of water in the sippy may be a option as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2011-11-17T20:37:48.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3403" CreationDate="2011-11-18T00:54:02.333" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;To build on Graham's answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Visit people who are dying due to: Lung cancer, Oral cancer, Emphysema, etc. I would guess your local hospital, if you're in a populated enough area, has a program for this purpose.&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about family members you may have lost due to smoking related illness, and how much you miss them. What life might be like if they hadn't smoked.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you formerly smoked, be open and honest about when and why you started, how long you did, why you quit, and what your regrets are.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think honesty is the best policy here. My explanation would go something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are the pros?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Your peers, maybe someone that you want to be attracted to you, think you're &quot;cool&quot; or attractive. (The real irony is that later in life we (most of us, anyway) find smoking to be a non-starter; the ultimate unattractive habit!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;A buzz.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;An ice-breaker (&quot;got a light?&quot;, &quot;want to go outside and burn one?&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Near-automatic acceptance to a social circle (particularly enticing in a new environment, such as your first year of high school or college, moving to a new town, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are the cons?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Decreased overall health (enjoy running, swimming, or biking? not for long!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Waste of money (A pack a day, at $3/pack, costs you $1,000+ per year. Smoke for 20 years? That's $21,900.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Chemical dependence (withdrawal, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Extreme increase to your risk of at least 1-2 types of cancer, possibly more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;As many people think smoking is gross + a turn off, if not more than the opposite&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;It is said that &lt;em&gt;kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.&lt;/em&gt; That would limit your dating options.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Is it worth $21k + extreme cancer risk + overal lower quality of life, to get a buzz? To &lt;em&gt;look cool&lt;/em&gt;? Or for an excuse to say hello? Just say hi.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess this method relies a bit on teaching your kids pragmatism in all aspects of life, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1839" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-19T11:18:57.317" LastActivityDate="2011-11-19T11:18:57.317" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3401" CreationDate="2011-11-18T03:53:25.717" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are three styles of learning: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. Most people use all three to varying degrees, but have one that is stronger. Depending on your child's strengths, they many not be as skilled at picking up a book and learning a topic. This does not mean they are not intelligent, or capable of learning. The majority of people are social learners and need instruction from others. This does not mean everyone cannot be life-long learners, it just means most of us need to seek out classes or others to accomplish that learning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that being said, it sounds like you value visual learning more than others. If this is not your child's natural strength, you can work extensively on reading. Many measures used in formal education actually focus on visual learning as nearly all tests are read and answer format. Most educators agree that the greatest indicator of success as a student is the ability to read well and this seems to be in line with the type of learning you are interested in promoting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To promote reading, read with your child every day. From birth children should be read to on a daily basis. As your child begins to develop, they will begin to know the stories or recognize words - encourage them to say any words they recognize. As they become beginning readers, read with them having them read a page and you read a page. Be gentle in your corrections of missed words. Further, there is no such thing as being too old to be read to. Being read to helps children further develop their reading skills. If your goal is to  have your child be a visual learner, improving reading is the best route to that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-18T03:53:25.717" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3426" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3427" CreationDate="2011-11-18T05:10:21.120" Score="13" ViewCount="38154" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 year-old is constantly talking.  This isn't your average pestering parents on a topic until they answer or you lose interest.  He never loses interest and continually switches to any random topic.  As soon as we are within earshot, he starts talking, whether we are responding or not, whether he can see us or not, whether we are talking to someone else or not, and whether or not he actually has something to say that makes sense.  When we respond he doesn't even pay attention to what we say.  He's just catching his breath and thinking of what to say next.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize the root is that he wants our attention, and we give him as much as we can, considering his older sister gets a disproportionate amount of time due to her cerebral palsy.  However, his talking is so excessive that we have started to tune him out or just make him stop completely, so it has the opposite of his intended effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we teach the polite middle ground between not talking at all and talking your ears off?  He obeys us whenever we tell him to stop (for a few minutes at least), but we've found it surprisingly difficult to explain the often subtle social cues of when it's okay to talk and when not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:12:43.787" LastActivityDate="2017-01-07T16:59:30.520" Title="How to deal with incessant talking?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3426" CreationDate="2011-11-18T09:45:16.713" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question would be how much of a social outlet does he have outside of your family? If you're unable to provide him with the attention he needs and still provide his sister with the care she needs, then finding ways for him to get that attention elsewhere, either from childcare or simply from a good nursery could be a solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing I'd think about is acknowledging to him that his sister gets more attention than he does, but only because she needs more care, and getting him more involved in caring for her, so that the time you spend with her is not time spent excluding him. Obviously there are practicalities to consider, but it might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The final point is that a 4-year old talking constantly, no matter how out-of-control it may seem, is neither unusual nor particularly troubling. &quot;Never loses interest and continually switches to any random topic&quot; sounds far more average to me than &quot;pestering parents on a topic until they answer or you lose interest.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try and remember that at 4 years old he's encountering new stuff all the time, a lot of which makes no sense at all to him, and you are his main source of information, and pretty much his only safe place in which to question this stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, work out whether you're doing this because you're worried about his development (which is what I've focused here), or because it's a source of stress for you to be dealing with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that either reason is fine (your needs are as important as his, especially as how you feel affects how you interact with him), but the approaches for dealing with it are very different. If it's the latter, some success can be achieved using a combinations of leaving the kids with the grandparents while you take a long weekend, and enforcing that &quot;Daddy's Office&quot; is off-limits, and retreating there when you need a break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2011-11-18T09:53:50.057" LastActivityDate="2011-11-18T09:53:50.057" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3426" CreationDate="2011-11-18T10:47:21.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would second @deworde's point - it is very common for kids at that age to want to detail everything new coming into their brains, which is pretty much everything they see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would agree that in the situation you have he may be feeling a bit left out, so encouraging him to be part of your care plan for his sister would help, as would setting aside some special time just dedicated to him (this may be tricky, but I think is essential to help him feel like he isn't being sidelined - at that age, while he may understand his sister needs more attention he might feel that he does sometimes)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-18T10:47:21.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3374" CreationDate="2011-11-18T11:05:43.843" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little boy is 2 years old plus a few months, and since a while (3 months?) we don't use the trolley anymore. I could be a matter of life habits: we use our bikes when we go in the vicinity, and when we go further, by car, it is usually to places like lakes or mountains where trolleys are useless anyway, and then we bring a &quot;baby-backpack&quot;. I also can carry him on my shoulder if needed. So I would say: buying a special &quot;two-kids&quot; trolley is probably a bad idea, as it is not necessary and probably not very convenient to use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a comment I don't agree with: &quot;Nothing ruins an afternoon out like an unhappy child&quot;. That is not my way to see this. I try to not let my kid, however unhappy, ruin any afternoons of mine, and anyway having or not a trolley should not be a reason for him or her to be unhappy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This unhappiness thing is an interesting topic. In fact, I actually &lt;em&gt;train&lt;/em&gt; my kid to be unhappy, by sometime randomly taking the thing he holds from his hands. He cries a bit, and then I do something else with him, playing with the sand on the streets, or finding another object for him to hold. I expect him to be less dramatically affected next time he is &quot;unhappy&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think being able to accept that things are not always going the way one like is of the highest importance and should be taught early, to everyone. (I can tell that this lesson has not been learned well, even by some very well-kwon adults!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2011-11-18T11:05:43.843" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3403" CreationDate="2011-11-18T14:41:18.370" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there was an easy answer, there would be a website for it. I thought it was heartening that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lung.ca/protect-protegez/tobacco-tabagisme/facts-faits/teens-ados_e.php&quot;&gt;&quot;Youth smokers make more attempts to quit smoking than adult smokers.&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be why education is an important part of the solution. If their fear of the consequences is greater than the social rewards, it may be easier for them to quit. Unfortunately, the social rewards can be quite high.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though I would be tempted to forbid them to smoke and forbid their friends too, this is likely to alienate them. As with any adult behaviour, now they have to deal with the consequences. It is their response to these natural consequences that will determine whether or not they continue since this started as a choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, depending on their age, I would take more decisive action. For a younger child, I would treat this much more severely and invoke the aid of a counsellor, supervise their activities more closely so that they had less opportunity to engage in the behaviour, and make their teachers and the parents of their friends aware. For those parents that were not supportive of my concerns, I would not allow my child to be at their house or with their child unsupervised by someone I trust. In short, I would treat this as I would if they were doing any drug recreationally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my child were closer 18, maybe as young as 16, I would approach it in the same way I would approach any decision I thought was not in their best interest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ask them about why they made this choice, how it makes them feel, and why they do or do not want to continue. There are reasons why they started and these need to be addressed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;inundate them with information on the effects of smoking and drug addiction. They need to be aware that this is a gateway drug and that making this choice will make it easier to make other risky choices that they might not have otherwise made.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;explain how their actions affect me and our family&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;explain my expectations of their behaviour and negotiate reasonable parameters which essentially prevent non-smokers from being affected by (coming into contact with) their smoking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;encourage them to put limits on their habit and identify when they would consider it bad/too much and seek help&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-11-18T14:51:59.440" LastActivityDate="2011-11-18T14:51:59.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3431" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-18T21:33:34.530" Score="2" ViewCount="460" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could someone recommend a music player for a toddler? The main features I am after are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It should properly play mp3 and have some interface to upload them from a computer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It should have either no preloaded music or an easy way to remove it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should be suitable for a 2.5 year old (light, sturdy, easy to use, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was trying to find one of these on British Amazon, but I failed miserably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2011-11-18T21:33:34.530" Title="Music player for toddlers" Tags="|toddler|music|toys|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2011-11-19T11:10:43.907" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3433" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3456" CreationDate="2011-11-19T15:58:54.767" Score="9" ViewCount="296" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have just noticed this in 2 boys, aged 3,4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 3 year old used to throw tantrums quite frequently over trivial matters (such as me holding the ball I'm throwing in the right rather than the left hand).  He &lt;em&gt;stopped&lt;/em&gt; doing this somewhere in the last 3 or 4 months, while the older one &lt;em&gt;started&lt;/em&gt; throwing tantrums over similarly minor things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the younger one would throw the tantrums, the older one used to quietly watch (kind of in awe or taken aback).  He would look at the younger one as if puzzled by the behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the older one has taken on the frequent tantrums, and the younger one looks on in awe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what's going on here.  I'd like to reduce the frequency of the tantrums, but the &lt;em&gt;weird&lt;/em&gt; thing to me is the behaviour swapping.  Will this continue to happen? (ie tantrums from one but not the other and vice versa, in periods?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-19T22:54:38.093" LastActivityDate="2011-11-23T12:08:17.270" Title="Why did these two pre-schoolers swap their tantrum behaviour?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3434" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-19T22:57:19.010" Score="7" ViewCount="530" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that my son generally experiments fine motor skills initially using his left-hand (stacking, eating with utensils, coloring) and then shifts to using his right more often.  I'm honestly not sure if there's a hand he prefers or if he just goes with the one that's closer to the object to be manipulated.  When does a child typically settle on a dominant hand?  Additionally his grandfather (mother's father) is ambidextrous, is that a genetic trait that's often passed along?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T09:18:50.390" Title="How does a child develop &quot;handed-ness&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|development|fine-motor-skills|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3434" CreationDate="2011-11-19T23:44:52.050" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My understanding is that the handedness is a mix of what they learn by observing their parents and other people, and of how their brain is wired and/or developed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While my son was between ½ and 1 year old, he would have one preferred hand for weeks, and then switch to the other hand for weeks. We were guessing whether he'd eventually &quot;land on&quot; right- or left-handedness, but &lt;strong&gt;I saw nothing that could be taken as an early indicator of his final choice.&lt;/strong&gt; He's been generally right-handed for a long time now (now 2 years old) so I think it'll stay that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The following seems to be &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/a/81/3467&quot;&gt;scientifically disproven&lt;/a&gt;. I'll leave it in here for the sake of completeness:&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Most people have a dominant brain half. There's a statistical correlation (meaning it's often but not always the case) regarding the dominant brain haft, with a dominant&lt;/em&gt; left &lt;em&gt;brain half being correlated to analytical skills and also to right-handedness -- versus creative/artistic skills and left-handedness with a dominant&lt;/em&gt; right &lt;em&gt;brain half. I'd like to quote some scientific studies here, but perhaps I can fill that in later -- I can't say whether this dominance and handedness is learned, determined by genes, or determined by other factors.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T09:18:50.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3404" CreationDate="2011-11-20T02:48:36.500" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Show them how to have fun without gifts/stuff&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What did I enjoy most when I was a child? Going camping: making fires and climbing trees. At home it was Lego, or those wooden railways. My sister and I would make a layout and then play make believe games with the little people. p.s. I am only 18, so it's not like this harks back to another time, this is possible now with the right attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, &lt;strong&gt;Don't tolerate greediness&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chastise your children for wanting gifts. It is a bad trait, although it is NOT their fault. Do not say that they are bad, just say that they shouldn't expect such things and let them find or show them something else fun to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People want things for a reason, most often boredom, but also social acceptance (everyone else has it). I think limited 'everyone else has it' cases should be tolerated, but &lt;strong&gt;if you can find other activities that are fun then they will be too busy to bother about stuff.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1552" LastActivityDate="2011-11-20T02:48:36.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3438" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3444" CreationDate="2011-11-20T16:18:43.350" Score="10" ViewCount="6358" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2 year old kid who does not like fruits in any form. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried a lot but he would not eat fruits. Even if we make fruit shake with pieces of fruits in it, he would drink the shake and remove the fruits from his mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we be worried about his dislike for fruits?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-11-20T21:43:49.063" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T03:37:04.557" Title="How do I get my toddler to eat fruit?" Tags="|toddler|health|food|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2011-11-20T23:38:09.157" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 20 month old daughter also seems to &lt;em&gt;like&lt;/em&gt; having her hair loose in her face (pulling out any clips or bands etc.).  So usually we just allow her to choose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They do make &quot;non-toxic&quot; hairgel/mist for kids, but my preferred solution (temporary, but easy to do in a moment) is simply to brush her hair back toward her ears with plain water.  She seems to like that, and her hair is very fine and mostly straight so it kind of sticks there for long enough to eat or play a game or take 'presentable' photos or whatever.  (The baby hairspray does stick better but water has served our needs.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has recently gotten long enough to reach behind her ears, so may get easier for you in a few months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rubber bands that are &lt;em&gt;so tight&lt;/em&gt; she can't pull them out did seem to work (I dislike them... pigtails near the temples... but when we occasionally use daycare someone there puts them in) and surprisingly she doesn't seem to persist on trying to get them out when she finds it's not easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastActivityDate="2011-11-20T23:38:09.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3438" CreationDate="2011-11-20T23:47:47.090" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two things have worked great for us here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having him present at family meals where we all are eating fruit and liking it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We got a pacifier at Babies R Us with a net, where you can add pieces of fruit and he can suck on them. It took some time but eventually he took to them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry if he is not taking to fruits right now, but I definitely would not stop relaxedly trying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1852" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-21T09:04:36.347" LastActivityDate="2011-11-21T09:04:36.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3441" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-21T00:50:10.527" Score="11" ViewCount="103681" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You sense the sarcasm here? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He loves to argue and thinks suddenly that every rule is meant to be broken. We have always had strict discipline in our home so this should not be a shock for him when he has a consequence for poor choices, yet he acts appalled and says all sorts of hurtful things. His favorite phrase is &quot;well how do you know?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a smart kid but get only c's and b's. The teachers are constantly after him to make more of an effort. His room is a disaster, he thinks he only needs to shower one time weekly and I feel as though I have become a nag nonstop! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's developmental, but &lt;strong&gt;how much do you let go and how much do you ride them for?&lt;/strong&gt; I guess I never though teenage years started at 12! Any thoughts or suggestions would be helpful!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1853" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T09:25:34.027" LastActivityDate="2019-05-26T17:46:08.397" Title="How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|teen|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3442" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-21T05:02:11.487" Score="15" ViewCount="3599" Body="&lt;p&gt;After divorce, the mother got custody of our now 12-year-old daughter. &#xA;The mother has committed at least 9 (provable) acts of transgressions &#xA;indicating active application of parental alienation, most of which is still continuing. The &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parental alienation syndrome&lt;/a&gt; (PAS) is the effect it has on our daughter. Due to its insidious nature, the parental alienation took place over two-plus years to reach this current state at which I at last woke up to it. Previous to this period the relationship was fine and normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having experienced PAS, my child is very reticent and unresponsive to my attempts in rebuilding our relationship. The condition is very much like sulking, but with an externally inflicted cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have intermittent telephonic access (controlled by the mother: I call her and ask to talk to my daughter), and see my daughter twice a week for less than an hour each time. I want to use these accesses to try and salvage something of a relationship with my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've looked at legal options but will not take that route - can see only harm and stress affecting my daughter on top of the PAS.&#xA;I've informed the mother that I'm aware of what is going on, but no helpful response from her side (yet), but I'm working on it, although I'm not holding my breath. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What approaches can I try to invoke interest, cooperation and joint bonding experiences? What can I do to (re)bond with my daughter?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1854" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-07T14:20:45.523" LastActivityDate="2018-05-07T22:29:16.337" Title="How to go about regaining the trust of my child?" Tags="|behavior|relationships|pre-teen|communication|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3441" CreationDate="2011-11-21T10:07:28.740" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adolescent behaviour (the official term for teenage years) can start as young as 10, so I wouldn't worry that this is &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; than that, especially as that's going to be enough to deal with over the next 6-15 years (yes, it'll happily keep going into the mid-late 20's).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are millions of lines of text on how to deal with teenage misbehaviour, from the strict disciplinarian approach to the calm understanding. Start Reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basics are generally to be consistent in your own behaviour, try to remember what it was like when you were dealing with your parents at that age, and don't treat them like little children anymore, because they're not, any more than they're adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the breakdown of your specific issues:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The whole &lt;strong&gt;POINT&lt;/strong&gt; of being a teenager is to start questioning the stuff you previously took for granted from authority, to get to the point where you can act as the authority. Making your own decisions and accepting the responsibility for consequences is all part of that. The key is to make it clear to him that if he wants the decision bit, he accepts the consequence bit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For the schoolwork, the general advice is to praise hard work rather than intelligence, because it's been shown in studies that kids who are told that they're &quot;smart&quot; do worse than those who are told that they &quot;worked hard&quot;. Beyond that, discussing with him why you think his grades matter and what you're hoping from him might help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making your room uncleanable is often an attempt to secure some privacy and keep the parents out. Point out to him that if he wants to have his room private, he needs to keep it above the biohazard threshold. That includes leaving the sheets out for laundry every couple of weeks, removing anything subject to decay (e.g. food, clothes, dead animals), and letting fresh air and light into it occasionally. If he's willing to do that, &lt;strong&gt;YOU MUST NOT INVADE HIS PRIVACY IN THAT ROOM&lt;/strong&gt; (break this, and he'll never trust you again). Stick to your part of the deal, and warn him when you feel you &quot;need to go in there just to clean a bit&quot;. If he doesn't live up to his end of it, you have a right to make sure your home is resellable at some point. Start doing a weekly purge till he works out that keeping you out of there is more important than avoiding an hour's cleaning a week.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The shower thing will vanish once he starts worrying about girls. If you want to speed it along, I recommend taking a family day out to the pool twice a week. As a bonus, keeps you healthy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-11-21T10:07:28.740" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3438" CreationDate="2011-11-21T13:10:46.313" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When he was two, our son really seemed to dislike bananas. We kept pushing them, because they are an inexpensive and healthy snack. It took probably 4-6 months of having him try one at least once or twice a week, but now he loves them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key, in our house at least, is that the kids are required to try everything we put on their plate (at least 1 bite). If they don't like it, they are welcome to spit it out on their plate and not required to finish it; but we do require that they try it before they can leave the table. Just as with any other rules, you have to be willing to stick to your guns and not give in: make rules you believe in, and enforce them 99.99% of the time. (The .01% is reserved for public outings or special occasions where you don't want to make a scene, like Christmas dinner.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1839" LastActivityDate="2011-11-21T13:10:46.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3442" CreationDate="2011-11-21T13:43:01.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being the child of divorced parents and looking at your question I'd say you need more time with your daughter.  Intermittent contact and less than two hours a week of face time, if I am reading your question and adding it up right, means not much contact.  If your contact is that limited then it's easy for the other party to say that you don't love your daughter or you would spend more time with her.  Increase your time with her, ask her where she wants to go and take her places she enjoys, get her comfortable and in a setting she enjoys and or might be talkative.  It's easy to build trust, but once removed it's doubly hard to rebuild and with PAS it's going to be more difficult if the other party is actively trying to subvert you.  Nothing builds up a relationship like alone time and showing you care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-11-21T13:43:01.087" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3446" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3449" CreationDate="2011-11-21T15:20:06.833" Score="16" ViewCount="36051" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I read books to my sons, I get an overwhelming urge to yawn.  I'm generally not tired around the time the boys are going to bed, and I don't think I'm bored while I'm doing the reading.  I'm wondering whether I'm just not breathing properly while reading aloud and that's part of the problem.  Does anyone else have this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far my eldest is 3 years old, so he hasn't quite picked up on it, but I'm sure as he gets older he'll start to feel like I'm bored when I'm reading and I don't want him to have that opinion of what I consider to be an important bonding time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1856" LastActivityDate="2013-10-23T10:19:46.420" Title="How do I stop yawning so much when I'm reading bedtime stories to my kids?" Tags="|bedtime|reading|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3442" CreationDate="2011-11-21T16:26:08.213" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The primary thing here has to be your daughter's welfare. If you and the mother have an actively hostile relationship, then you need to shield her from it as much as possible. When you spend time with her, &lt;strong&gt;avoid all mention of her mother&lt;/strong&gt;, except in a supportive context (e.g. if she's complaining about her mum, remind her that her mother loves her, and deserves respect).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I would suggest is to spend some time every day writing a little note to your daughter. Just tell her about your day, something interesting you saw or heard or did. Always sign off with your love. Either e-mail it to her, or better, send it in an pretty envelope. This effectively increases the time you spend with her, because she knows you're thinking about her at other times, and she's got the letters to remind her of you. The other advantage is that, even if your daughter's in a position at the moment where she's supporting her mother at the cost of you, the letters will be there for when she's more interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, just be there whenever you can. Try and rebuild your relationship with her mother to the point where you're allowed to be. Don't throw around psychological terminology or blame the mother for turning your child against you. When the mother insults you, learn to take it. Fight it, and you'll gain nothing and just end up putting your daughter in the middle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could take years, especially as your time with the daughter is so limited, but you may just have to hang on till she's an adult and is more willing to re-engage with you. The worst thing you could do between now and then is to either fall out of her life completely, or become &quot;that guy who hates her mother&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-11-21T16:26:08.213" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3446" CreationDate="2011-11-21T16:51:30.847" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh yes I have this problem too :-) Not only when reading to my son, also when singing at events :-(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I can think of is that one cause of yawning is simply lack of oxygen. Don't slouch; sit with a straight back so that you can breathe fully. Take a deep breath occasionally, this can also double as a small artistic/suspense pause in the story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-21T16:51:30.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3446" CreationDate="2011-11-21T19:07:34.243" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another explanation could be psychological. Hear me out, it sounds far fetched but makes sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yawning is contagious because a group's social ties are strengthened using such mechanisms. This can be seen across many species of pack animals, and humans belong in that category.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when you want your kids to sleep, you are putting yourself in a  suitable state of mind. This causes &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; yawning, because yawning is a relaxing and de-stressing activity. Your yawning would subconsciously cause your children to yawn in response, thereby relaxing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds silly, but it works. Of course it also works in the opposite direction; if you're stressed and agitated when trying to put the kids to bed, they'll pick that up too. It's amazing how sensitive children are to your true mood, regardless of what mask you wear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-21T19:07:34.243" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3446" CreationDate="2011-11-22T00:52:50.733" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Similar to Troben's comments about psychological is that often we use reading as a relaxing activity for ourselves as well as part of our children's bedtime routine. Reading and getting ready to sleep is linked for many people because this is the most common time we read. I would suggest if you are concerned about that link appearing to be boredom rather than winding down, try reading earlier in the evening and maybe altering the bedtime ritual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, I am an elementary librarian and some days I cannot help but yawn all through books that I honestly enjoy simply because I become relaxed as I read and whether or not I want to admit it, I am tired!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-22T00:52:50.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3438" CreationDate="2011-11-22T08:44:15.500" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As well as us joining in with eating fruit, one that worked for one of our kids (who really didn't want to eat fruit) was to make smoothies. We put a wide range of things into these: bananas, apples, oranges, mango etc and because it was a drink, she had no problems with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So until she finally came round to liking fruits in their natural form, we managed to get around 5 a day into her diet this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-22T08:44:15.500" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3452" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3465" CreationDate="2011-11-22T09:47:37.430" Score="4" ViewCount="12060" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have read a lot about Pre-school, Nursery, etc. But there is still lot of confusion on what should be the right age to put my kid to school (He is two currently)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a scientific research or something which shows the right age to put the kid to school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;May be teachers among you can throw a light on this subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-24T07:07:53.107" LastActivityDate="2011-11-24T09:51:49.220" Title="What is the right age to put the toddler to (pre-)school?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3446" CreationDate="2011-11-22T10:38:29.310" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say that yawning is a &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; thing. This is sleepytime, you're in a bedroom, and you're sleepy (parents of small children are &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; sleepy). Forcing yourself to stay awake and alert is exactly the opposite thing from what you want your kids to pick up on and emulate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it's entirely possible that your behaviour's based on &lt;strong&gt;theirs&lt;/strong&gt;. They're sleepy, and you'll pick up on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're distressed that you're bored, just let them know that you're tired now, and it's time for sleep. Hopefully that'll help them to nod off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one danger is that your wife will find them downstairs watching TV and going &quot;Daddy fell asleep, so we put him to bed.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-11-22T10:38:29.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3452" CreationDate="2011-11-22T10:51:10.830" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I've read (i.e. NOT A TEACHER/PROFESSIONAL), from about two to three, he might be ready for short bursts of socialising, but it's best if a parent/comfortable figure's still available during this, so he has someone safe to go to if he starts getting stressed. It's also helpful for making sure he's not being bullied (or bullying).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A key factor is that if you're not there, then he's gone from a world where he's the primary focus of attention to a world where he's competing for attention with 30 kids, which takes some adjustment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you're sure that he's comfortable in medium-sized groups, that's when you can think about the right age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you really shouldn't do is keep him out of those social events until the age where you have to drop him into pre-school on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-11-22T10:51:10.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3452" CreationDate="2011-11-22T18:48:55.213" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are differing opinions. &lt;a href=&quot;http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9902E2DC1430F930A35755C0A9619C8B63&amp;amp;sec=&amp;amp;spon=&amp;amp;pagewanted=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; is a NYTimes article (&quot;When Should a Kid Start Kindergarten?&quot;) that appeared in 2007 advocating that children delay starting school as the academic benefits continue with them throughout their scholastic lives. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-delay-your-kindergartners-start.html?src=me&amp;amp;ref=general&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; more recent article offers a counterpoint (&quot;Delay Kindergarten at Your Child’s Peril&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience: we started our daughter in school according the the standard cut-offs in Australia as we felt she was ready for it. She was getting bored and restless in kindergarten. One of her friends delayed starting school as his verbal communication was not up to scratch yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Had we held her back another year (redshirted is the term used in the above articles) it would have been a disaster. As it is, she is a A-grade student bored with the curriculum. We could not have started her earlier as her emotional maturity did not match her intellectual maturity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long and short: it depends upon the child. If they are on either end of the bell curve, you may have a tough choice to make.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-11-22T18:48:55.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3433" CreationDate="2011-11-22T22:23:30.950" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wild guess: The older one saw how the tantrums got attention from the adults, wanted it himself and learned to do it from the younger one. I've been amazed at the behaviors my son has brought home from daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-11-22T22:23:30.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2011-11-23T08:05:14.277" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just came across this description on how to &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Make-a-Coloring-Book/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;create coloring book pages from your own photos&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Turn your family photos into fun kids' coloring books for free! This simple tutorial will teach you how to turn any photograph into black and white outlines that you can print out at home. [...] I'm going to talk through this process in a lot of detail, but that's only so that a complete beginner will feel comfortable. Don't be intimidated by the number of steps; you can actually complete the project in about 5 minutes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(hat tip to &lt;a href=&quot;http://lifehacker.com/5861227/create-coloring-book-pages-from-photos&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Lifehacker&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-23T08:05:14.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3433" CreationDate="2011-11-23T12:08:17.270" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tantrums usually seem to be around attention getting. Children of all ages go through phases of playing up in order to get attention - your eldest may have thought it worked for his younger brother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to make sure your response is consistent, however you'll need to be more robust in your response to an older child, pointing out to them that while it is not good behaviour for a toddler, it is even less acceptable for an older child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't respond by giving more attention - put them aside, on the 'naughty step' or similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-23T12:08:17.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3459" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3460" CreationDate="2011-11-23T17:18:26.340" Score="13" ViewCount="8115" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a pre-school teacher and in my school I have a four and a half year old girl who has problems.  Her fine and large motor skills needs attention.  She is not very agile in the outside area, and she's afraid to use the swings and fears to run faster and somersault.  She tends to play on her own, and often gets upset about little things and lands up crying and sometimes literally 'howling'.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Indoors she finds it difficult to keep busy.  Most of the time, she's working with the same activities.  Her drawings have no form, but just scribbles and coloring's, and she cannot draw herself or something of a human form.  Most of the time she needs help in the toilet, and she finds it difficult to put her socks and shoes on.  Her speech also is not very clear, and we also wonder sometimes if she understands what is being discussed at circle time.  She doesn't show much confidence.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried to talk to her parents about these problems, but they refuse to believe she has a problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help this child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1864" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-09T21:13:48.847" LastActivityDate="2017-10-29T16:59:33.747" Title="How can I help when the parents don't acknowledge their child 's learning disability?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|special-education|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3459" CreationDate="2011-11-23T20:36:48.407" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is always difficult when parents refuse to see what seems obvious to a teacher. I would suggest that you document specific examples of issues where the child is not meeting benchmarks for her age over time. Once you have a log of repeated examples, along with suggestions of activities the parents can engage in to help the child improve in those areas, I would request a meeting with the parents. Particularly at the age of 4, it is hard to determine if the issues is simply lack of exposure, developmental delay that will catch up over time or something that is a bigger issue. Every time you approach the parents, I would come armed with suggestions of what they can be doing to help their child. No parent wants to hear their child is not doing well, but most parents want to do anything they can do to help their child!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-23T20:36:48.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3452" CreationDate="2011-11-23T20:47:49.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say it needs to be completely based on the individual child. If your child has siblings or is involved in play groups, it is perhaps less important to have them in preschool until the year before beginning kindergarten. As an elementary teacher, I can see a significant difference in the kindergarteners that have never attended preschool and those that have attended at least one year. Those who have attended at least one year are much better adjusted to the constrains of a classroom. Benefits beyond one year are less marked, so my suggestion is to judge the needs of your child, but minimally try to put them in one year of preschool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-11-23T20:47:49.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3462" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3474" CreationDate="2011-11-23T22:54:44.837" Score="0" ViewCount="248" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner is a UK Size 22 (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.monsoon.co.uk/help/size-guide/page/sizeguide/#europeanusa&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;according to this&lt;/a&gt; that's US size 18, European Size 48-50), and is now at the stage where she requires maternity wear. This has proven to be incredibly difficult to find in her size and above (apparently you're supposed to go one size bigger on the maternity wear).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've found a few places that do tops, but our real issue is finding nice trousers/jeans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was hoping people could recommend places to go. Places that we've already tried that cater to the larger sizes have either stopped doing maternity wear or only go up to size 22, which we're worried will become too small during the later stages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I'm especially interested in is if US/Mainland European users have the same issues at size 18+ (i.e. is this a general problem) or can advise us of good places/websites to look at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm asking this because we're finding it very frustrating to handle, and I'm sure other UK site visitors will be having the same problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-26T14:04:00.927" LastActivityDate="2018-10-26T14:04:00.927" Title="Where can we find larger size Maternity Clothing?" Tags="|pregnancy|clothes|mother|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2017-02-10T23:15:08.360" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3459" CreationDate="2011-11-24T00:48:52.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Erin's recommendations, however, I would also prepare a letter to send to the child's physician summarizing your concerns including appropriate documentation. Explain to the parents the value of having her physician assess her development and encourage them to personally deliver the information or sign a release for you send copies yourself. The parents may be more accepting of a physician's recommendations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1320" LastActivityDate="2011-11-24T00:48:52.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3452" CreationDate="2011-11-24T09:51:49.220" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We put our three in nursery from about 6 months up until age 4, then pre-school from 4 to 5, then school from 5. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was partly so we could both work, but also to give them much more socialising with other kids - and they absolutely loved it. From our perspective, they developed much faster than some of their peers who did less nursery/pre-school - both in social aspects (they have large groups of friends and are confident anywhere) and academically (they find it very easy to concentrate - which some of the kids who didn't socialise early have problems with)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be entirely down to the individual at the end of the day, but based on my experience I would heartily recommend it as a way to help children become confident in social situations, and to prepare them for the rough and tumble of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-24T09:51:49.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3466" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-24T11:02:39.320" Score="2" ViewCount="369" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy is turning 2. Is it appropriate to invite 13 year olds to his birthday parties? We argue a lot about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1867" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T08:10:45.603" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T08:10:45.603" Title="When holding a party for a 2-year old, what are appropriate age limits for the guests?" Tags="|toddler|social-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3467" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-11-24T11:08:02.140" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This tag is designed to allow people who have specific questions about maternity-wear, or who have specific requirements (e.g. large size, culturally-specific) to filter such questions out of the more general pregnancy tag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that most questions that have [maternity] should also be tagged with [pregnancy], but that most questions tagged [pregnancy] should &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; be tagged [maternity]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2011-11-24T16:15:50.817" LastActivityDate="2011-11-24T16:15:50.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3468" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-11-24T11:08:02.140" Score="0" Body="Regarding specialist clothing required during preganancy. See the tag [pregnancy] for more general advice about pregnancy." OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2011-11-24T16:15:51.703" LastActivityDate="2011-11-24T16:15:51.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3469" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-11-24T11:09:42.980" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-11-24T11:09:42.980" LastActivityDate="2011-11-24T11:09:42.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3470" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-11-24T11:09:42.980" Score="0" Body="Regarding issues that arise during pregnancy (medical, legal, planning). See also the tag [maternity] for specifics regarding maternity-wear." OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2011-11-24T16:15:53.453" LastActivityDate="2011-11-24T16:15:53.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3471" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2011-11-24T11:18:23.993" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This tag is to be added when answers to the question may need to note the region they are working in (for example, when describing legal recourses, it will be important to note which countries these laws apply in, and when talking about clothing, it will be important to note the difference between US, UK &amp;amp; European Sizes)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2011-11-25T08:07:59.190" LastActivityDate="2011-11-25T08:07:59.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3472" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2011-11-24T11:18:23.993" Score="0" Body="Used to tag questions that have region-specific content (e.g. specific legal issues, clothing sizes)" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2011-11-25T08:07:58.613" LastActivityDate="2011-11-25T08:07:58.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3466" CreationDate="2011-11-24T11:53:29.180" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;At two years old, I'm assuming that the party is mostly a get-together of parents of small children (most 2-year olds aren't at the stage where they have their own social circle). The main problem with inviting a teenager or near-teen is that it is unlikely that his/her friends will be there, and thus he/she will be left out, and basically have nothing to do for the entire party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This won't be fair to the teenager, and it could make the party extremely uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if the teenager wants to be there, (e.g. because he/she's close to your child), I'd make sure that you're doing something they can be involved in, (e.g. party games like charades) and if at all possible get some of his/her friends round, so he/she won't be so excluded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly, the most important point to remember is that from the perspective of the children, a two-year old and a 13-year old are completely different. The older one might take &lt;strong&gt;care&lt;/strong&gt; of the younger one, but they're not &lt;strong&gt;friends&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-11-24T11:53:29.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3462" CreationDate="2011-11-25T11:26:42.440" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in the EU (Denmark), but when it came to maternity clothes, I ordered online from US stores and had them shipped over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally shopped at Lane Bryant Maternity, but I don't know that they're still in business.  I know that Motherhood.com has up to a 3X for sizes, and that should be large enough, since the front of the 3rd trimester jeans are normally an elastic 'panel' that will stretch to accomodate a growing stomach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also try plusmommaternity.com &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm normally a size 24, and I purchased a 3X pair of 3rd trimester jeans and they fit fine throughout the end of my pregnancy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-11-25T11:26:42.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3466" CreationDate="2011-11-25T13:33:36.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we have done family parties we had children of all ages, so long as we had something for them all to do, or they had someone their own age or near to be with - things were fine.  For my sons first year parties they were all for the family rather then the kids, the second birthday party was more about them but we still had mostly the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the 13 year old is someone related, you don't really note the relation, then being with the family might be enough - or be nice and let them bring a friend along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until the children get older and have their own friends or classmates they want to be with I've never seen limits on ages, especially when considering family members.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2011-11-25T13:33:36.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3459" CreationDate="2011-11-25T15:21:12.427" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's just the parents being stubborn. Seeing as she is still in pre-school, they will probably keep putting it off until she is in kindergarten and the teacher says she is not keeping up when it comes time for conferences. As a teacher, you are not legally allowed to tell parents that their child has a learning disability because you have not had medical education, and I know that can be difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son got diagnosed with ADHD about 3 weeks ago and he is in first grade now. He went through kindergarten being behind, and because the teacher couldn't tell me to get him checked out for ADHD, I just thought he was not willing to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that he is on medication he does want to learn and has jumped from a reading level at the bottom to a 5. In only 3 weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't have a problem accepting that Jordan has a problem, but because the teacher couldn't be specific enough, I didn't know that all along she was implying that he needed to be treated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may just have to put the girl back into the 3's room where she can be with other children who are at the same level as her. Then you can explain to the parents that she can't keep up with the children in her classroom and it's an issue trying to get her to catch up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they do decide to get her checked out, the doctor will send you a form to fill out with a list of problematic behaviors. You score the child, the parents score the child on a separate form and the doctor compares them and tries to diagnose based on the results of both of your assessments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you can schedule conferences for the children in your preschool class. That way you aren't just focusing on the one girl. It will give all the parents a chance to see how their child is doing and whether or not they will be ready for kindergarten. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-11-25T15:21:12.427" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3459" CreationDate="2011-11-25T18:20:25.730" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should have a consultation route with the school head which can lead to direct consultation with a health professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I understand it you should be provided with the support within the school/health system in order to cope with a 'high demand' child - however I am basing this on the UK system so that may not be relevant where you are. I would still suggest consulting with the school head to see if this support pathway exists, as you would want this before any direct conversations with parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-25T18:20:25.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3478" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-26T02:33:55.093" Score="7" ViewCount="32578" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 8½-month infant sleeps in his own crib inside our room. He was born 2 months early, so his &lt;em&gt;adjusted age&lt;/em&gt; (equivalent age for a full-term baby) is about 6½ months and his development is approximately at that stage according to our pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/september-2010-babies/topic/when-should-a-baby-start-sleeping-in-their-own-room-at-night&quot;&gt;several&lt;/a&gt;  about babies sleeping in their own rooms as early as one week after birth. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/reprint/pediatrics;116/5/1245.pdf&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; suggests that waiting at least 6 months mentions that this view is shared by the UK Department of Health:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;On the basis of their study results, investigators in Scotland&#xA;  endorsed the United Kingdom Department of Health’s advice that the safest place for&#xA;  an infant to sleep is in a crib in the parents’ room for&#xA;  the first 6 months of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are considering moving our child to his own bed since he is at the equivalent age of a 6½-month full-term baby. However, we still have a few questions for those that have dealt with this decision before:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are there other medical aspects to consider before moving the baby to his own room?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Based on your personal experience, what challenges should we expect?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also based on your personal experience, which of your worries could have been dismissed?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="30" LastEditorUserId="30" LastEditDate="2011-11-29T03:53:37.910" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T11:08:34.250" Title="What is the recommended age for an infant to start sleeping in his own room?" Tags="|infant|sleep|bedroom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3479" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-26T16:14:49.883" Score="10" ViewCount="383" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took a class in high school that taught media literacy and it has been one of the few learning experiences in high that really stuck with me. I'd like my boy to learn from the beginning, when he's just starting to see advertising, how to read and understand how advertisers are trying to manipulate him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We already live in a household without much advertising (get TV from Netflix so there are no commercials, avoid websites with ads, etc) so it's jarring when we leave our house and are bombarded with billboards, buses wrapped with ads, and flying banners, and the ads on the TVs in airports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The obvious thing would be to talk about the ads when we see them and explain to him what they are trying to do. Are there are formal techniques for teaching media literacy to young children? Does a household without advertising make it better or worse for a child to understand what they are seeing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T00:03:37.273" Title="Techniques for teaching children from the start about how to read advertising?" Tags="|education|media|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3479" CreationDate="2011-11-27T18:07:02.797" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer your last question, I think that it does make it harder to teach about things that you actively exclude from your house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is it that you want to teach your children? Do you want them to patently hate any and all forms of advertisement? Or do you want them to develop the ability to understand what they are and why they say what they say?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've looked at some of the ideas at &lt;a href=&quot;http://pbskids.org/dontbuyit/advertisingtricks&quot;&gt;PBS Kids&lt;/a&gt; which shows some interesting things about ads for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house (we watch netflix but do watch normal broadcast tv as well) we talk about what the ad is selling and if we think it is a good thing to buy or if &quot;they are just trying to trick us&quot;. By doing this we have already given our 5 year old a bit of a skeptical attitude about seeing things being sold on tv and in catalogs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2011-11-27T18:07:02.797" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="176" CreationDate="2011-11-28T04:41:07.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Researching schools in my own City I used the State department of education website to view relative school rankings by percentage. In my city we had a school ranking 99% statewide. That data meshed with the subjective data we had collected talking with people and made it easy to decide to move within that school district.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1858" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T04:41:07.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-11-28T05:36:32.083" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother is 10 years old, and he is in that (i don't think he's real, but i still want to get presents, so i say he is) stage. I myself found out when i was 11, My 2nd brother found out when he was 9, and the youngest is getting there. And for those who say &quot;don't lie to your kids about santa, that makes them not trust you&quot; please, keep that stuff to yourself. I am glad my parents made santa so believable. I honestly had no idea. But let your kids find out on their own. As long as you believe santa is real, then he will always be there, in your heart. :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1875" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T05:36:32.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3441" CreationDate="2011-11-28T05:42:33.080" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I promise you, it's the age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of parents think &quot;Oh, my kid is being so bad, what is wrong with him??&quot; Nothing!!! It's the hormones! It's the &quot;I'm going into high school, and I'm 12, and I like girls and blah blah blah.&quot; You have to understand, he's 12, there's a lot going on in his life that he doesn't want to tell you, or he doesn't know how to handle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he starts to argue, just walk away. That's what my mom did, she just walked away, and when I was able to calm down, we talked it out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1875" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditDate="2019-05-26T17:46:01.773" LastActivityDate="2019-05-26T17:46:01.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3403" CreationDate="2011-11-28T05:46:55.213" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, the best way to tell them is to show them what really happens to your lungs, your heart, your everything when you start smoking. I smoked in high school, ive been clean for about a year and a half. What got my to quit was seeing those pictures in my anatomy class in high school. Absolutly disgusting, and i swore to never pick up a cig again. Just show them what really happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1875" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T05:46:55.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3486" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3488" CreationDate="2011-11-28T07:57:47.793" Score="7" ViewCount="3302" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last night my wife (as usual) was putting our 4.5yr-old baby girl to sleep. Our daughter becomes very chatty at that time and (especially in the presence of mom) expresses thoughts and things that happened during the day. Just then, our daughter told her mom that her eye is hurting her and if this a sign that she is going to die. My wife politely explained her that this is not the case. My daughter then asked if there are certain parts of the body that when they hurt mean she is going to die, and finally she said that she is afraid of death and she does not want to die.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2-3 days ago I had a discussion with my girl during playtime when she decided that one of her dolls is dead. I explained to her that if she (the doll) is dead, she'll never wake up again, and that is ok, because everybody eventually dies in the end, and this is the way of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are those two events correlated? Was I too cynical? What should we do now? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1666" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-11-29T01:17:46.090" LastActivityDate="2017-12-06T22:58:12.720" Title="My 4.5yr-old girl is afraid of death. What should I do?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|death|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3487" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3489" CreationDate="2011-11-28T08:40:23.637" Score="3" ViewCount="418" Body="&lt;p&gt;We live in London, but our new-born son (3 days old) seems to operate in the US west coast timezone, so he is mainly active during the night. What is the best way to switch him to the local timezone? We tried to wake him up during the day, but it doesn't seem to work at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T09:36:44.083" Title="Switching a newborn to the correct timezone" Tags="|newborn|night-time|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3486" CreationDate="2011-11-28T09:05:31.677" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;What should you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a scientifically proven answer - I just can tell you &lt;em&gt;my experience&lt;/em&gt;, as we already have had many such conversations (even at an early age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should talk as openly as possible (and necessary) about death to her and you should show her (if possible) that it makes no sense to be afraid of death as it is (partly) beyond your control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son started at 3.5 years old to worry about death, often stating that he did not want to die or that he did not want us (his parents) to die, as he does not want to be left &quot;alone&quot;.&#xA;(It began when he asked for his grand-grandparents, who died some years ago and whom he saw (with himself as a baby) on photos.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had some short phases where he was talking about death at least once or even several times a day. This was very, very touching and difficult for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What to say? I told him that we'll take care of ourselves as well as possible and that I hope we'll all live for a very long time.&#xA;He said he wanted us to die after him - then I told him that mostly the parents die when their kids are already quite old and have their own families and children, so I hope he'll understand that this is typically quite far away from now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also had phases where it seemed to be interesting or even fascinating for him to &quot;make&quot; something (mostly animals) &quot;dead&quot; - this stopped quickly, fortunately. I explained to him that the smallest animals, just like himself, do want to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Are the 2 events correlated? Most probably yes, but from your description it was your daughter who began making death a topic by letting her doll being dead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Did you ask her first if she knows what &quot;being dead&quot; means or was your explanation the instantaneous reaction to her play?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(In the latter case I'd consider it a bit hard, but asking if the child understands the words she used and then explaining or adding - where necessary and considering the child's age and &quot;maturity&quot; - what it really means, is absolutely appropriate IMHO.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Has she ever had experience with death before (dead animals, dead relatives or acquaintances)?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="17176" LastEditDate="2015-07-14T18:12:56.993" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T18:12:56.993" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3487" CreationDate="2011-11-28T09:36:44.083" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing to consider is that this may be a case of you thinking &quot;Oh, he's being nocturnal&quot; because you notice it more when he's up at night, whereas when he's awake during the day, that's &quot;normal&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/habitsbyage0to3months/&quot;&gt;Babies sleep &lt;strong&gt;a lot&lt;/strong&gt;, but in shorter bursts than adults&lt;/a&gt;, so &quot;Night-Time&quot; has less meaning to their sleep patterns. According to most sources, a newborn baby simply will not sleep throughout the night, any more than you would sleep for 3 days straight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means a major problem with &lt;strong&gt;waking&lt;/strong&gt; him is that you're actually training him to wake up sharply and sleep less soundly, as he's not making the connection &quot;&lt;strong&gt;Only sleep at this time&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;, he's making the connection &quot;&lt;strong&gt;Don't fall asleep&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the babycentre link used above: &quot;For the first six to eight weeks, your baby probably won't be able to stay up for much more than a couple of hours at a time. If you wait much longer than that to put him down, he'll be overtired and won't nod off easily.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, that link also has some useful information concerning migrating him to night-time sleeping:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One key thing is that there's nothing much you can do about it for the first two weeks, (or the &quot;statutory paternity leave&quot; period, so bad luck).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, it's basically exactly what you'd do when moving to a new sleeping pattern:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be active during the waking hours with lots of light and everyday noises.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At night, shut down the noises, and don't talk to him much and only in a subdued voice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(I've heard it can also help if his crib's in the same room as you, as the sound of you sleeping helps him sleep)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T09:36:44.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3479" CreationDate="2011-11-28T11:24:09.797" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing you could do is schedule &quot;Ad Time&quot;, a short period of the day, where you sit down with him and go through some Youtube or Online Ads, talking about the things he learned in class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sort of a fun play-time activity, which enhances the artificiality of the adverts (so it's not like watching TV and passively absorbing them), is in an environment you can control, and prepares him for the &quot;real world&quot; of heavy advertising in all areas of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way, instead of being jarring when you step out into AdWorld, he sees it as just a world of the game he plays with his dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incidentally, if turning this into a game works, &lt;a href=&quot;http://janemcgonigal.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Jane McGonigal&lt;/a&gt; would probably be fascinated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T11:24:09.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3478" CreationDate="2011-11-28T12:13:44.863" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent of two young daughters (2 years old and 3 weeks old), I know how tough it can be dealing with putting your child in another room. Essentially, the reasons you keep your child in your room are out of convenience (you don't have to trudge to the other room just to change a diaper or breast feed) and genuine concern (if something happens in the middle of the night, you want to be able to find out as soon as possible). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the first reason, after a certain amount of time, the drawbacks will outweigh the benefits. The longer your child takes getting used to sleeping in a seperate room, the harder it will be (imagine the difference between moving your child now and when he or she is 2 or 3 years old - perhaps an over exaggeration, but probably not by much). You also will be unable to be intimate with your partner with your child in the same room (or for that matter just to settle down to watch TV or read a book), and the clothing will start piling up very quickly (and soon you may find yourself trudging to the other room anyway to get some fresh clothing or sheets).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the second reason... well, that's one of the hallmarks of a good parent, someone who worries about their children (but as long as you don't overdo it - hovering over your kids will be just as damaging as if you left them in the same room with you). What you can do is get a baby phone - essentially a small monitor that will transmit your child's sounds to your monitor in your bedroom. This will allow you for the first few months you move your child to their own bedroom to regularly listen in, in case they start crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest challenge you'll have is having your child get used to the new sleeping arrangements. This will take probably at least a week before your child accepts sleeping in another room on their own. When doing this, you may want to use the egg-timer method - let your kid cry it out for 5 minutes, then come in to comfort them, and keep extending the time between when you hear your child crying and when you come in (I would recommend starting this on a long weekend, if possible - in that way, at least you don't wind up a zombie at work the next day). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another challenge you'll have is simply general worry. I had this with my first daughter when she started sleeping on her stomach. I would walk in, see her lying face down, and flip her on her back. After awhile, I got comfortable enough with the idea of her lying on her stomach (and now that she's in her own toddler bed, sleeping with a pillow, albeit a specially designed child's pillow). The thing here is that you shouldn't walk in every 5 minutes to make sure everything is fine. If something, heaven-forbid, were to happen to your child, it could very well happen while your child is sleeping in your room and you're all sleeping soundly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, when moving your child to their own room, make sure it's THEIR room (I.E. not a computer room with a crib in it). If they have some stuffed animals they like, put them in the room to make them feel more comfortable in the room. Do diaper changes and clothing changes in the room. The more they associate the room with their regular routine, the easier they will have to accepting being in their own room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1876" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T12:13:44.863" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3438" CreationDate="2011-11-28T12:27:33.720" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Did he ever like fruit? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids seem to go through 'difficult' phases where they inexplicably stop liking stuff they used to, but they generally grow out of that, though tastes do change with time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try leaving bite-sized bits of various fruits available for him to sample when he's not 'working'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T12:27:33.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3493" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3494" CreationDate="2011-11-28T17:21:48.773" Score="1" ViewCount="214" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking for a game like interface that presents math facts starting at basic concepts like &quot;1 + 1&quot; then models the childs fluency, or lack of, and uses that data to present questions. Errors should be corrected as they're made; doesn't require an explaination, even just a error-buzz sound and a reseting of selected. Game wise it the game should present a charted preformance based on past preformance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Open to other approaches, just believe the system above is what I'm looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-11-28T18:31:05.737" LastActivityDate="2011-12-03T02:04:54.513" Title="Adaptive Teaching of Math Fluency" Tags="|teaching|math|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="11" ClosedDate="2011-12-03T19:02:43.597" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3493" CreationDate="2011-11-28T18:30:02.027" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely try &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.khanacademy.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Khan Academy&lt;/a&gt;! It's free! Google and the Gates Foundation have contributed money sponsoring it. There is talk of it being translated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;presents math drills from 1+1 to university level calculus and algebra&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;supported by youtube videos explaining the concepts&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;achieve badges based on proficiency &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;must answer 10 questions in a row correctly in order to be considered proficient; answer incorrectly and the count starts again, badges for persistance &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;must answer question correctly before continuing to next question&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;success indicated with a happy or sad face (no annoying sounds if you keep getting it wrong)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hints are available on request that present the solution step-by-step each time you request an additional hint&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;progress is charted on a star chart which maps the math concepts to one another&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;some reading is required; not a problem with parent support&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;coach accounts (e-mail of the coach) allows tutors to follow progress&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mathblaster.com/Parents/Default.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Math Blaster&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;arcade style game with time pressure&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;different levels of difficulty&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sound and visual indication of success or failure&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;questions answered incorrectly return more frequently&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;kids tend to stick with it, very engaging (I don't like playing it but my kids do.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;audio instructions, little reading required&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-11-29T01:11:36.807" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T01:11:36.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3495" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-11-28T14:23:00.470" Score="22" ViewCount="150574" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3486/691&quot;&gt;told someone on parenting&lt;/a&gt; that a baby becomes a toddler when it starts moving around. The question which came back was &quot;what age does a toddler stop being a toddler?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That got me searching, and I found at least one reference that said &quot;Toddlers are babies from one year to four years of age&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd never consider a four-year-old as a baby. Is this just me, or a geographical difference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" OwnerDisplayName="Benjol" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2019-10-30T17:27:24.513" Title="At what age does a toddler stop being a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2011-11-28T14:56:55.453" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The term Toddler is pretty definitive and self defining. &quot;Baby&quot; is much more ambiguous, and can be applied over a range of ages, so yes, they certainly can overlap. I don't consider a four year old a baby either, but I know an almost two who is very much a toddler (busily running everywhere) but who is typically referred to as baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24593" OwnerDisplayName="mickeyf" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T14:56:55.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2011-11-28T15:07:27.640" Score="12" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Infant: 0 - 1&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toddler: 1 - 3&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pre-Schooler: &gt; 3&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it can vary to some extent based on a child's development; the above is fairly common across the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby on the other hand is an umbrella term and has no distinct cut off point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24" OwnerDisplayName="Aaron" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T15:07:27.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2011-11-28T15:09:08.163" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Neither &lt;em&gt;toddler&lt;/em&gt; nor &lt;em&gt;baby&lt;/em&gt; are defined strictly according to age. I would take them to be mutually exclusive, using the definition that a &lt;a href=&quot;http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/baby_1&quot;&gt;baby&lt;/a&gt; is a very young child who has not learnt to walk while a &lt;a href=&quot;http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/toddler&quot;&gt;toddler&lt;/a&gt; is a young child who has just learnt to walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Jasper Loy" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T15:09:08.163" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2011-11-28T15:31:26.490" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's a universal definition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going by the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/Pages/default.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a%20No%20local%20token&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby = 0 - 1 year  &lt;em&gt;(Sometimes called &quot;Infant&quot; in other sources)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toddler = 1 - 3 years  &lt;em&gt;(Some still consider young toddlers to be 'babies')&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Preschooler = 3 - 5 years&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gradeschooler = 5 - 12 years &lt;em&gt;(Sometimes called 'school age' in other sources)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clothing manufacturers, on the other hand, consider toddlers from 2 - 4, which is why you see 2T - 4T clothing sizes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say the real test is based on developmental milestones rather than age.   A child is a toddler once they begin walking/toddling around, and ceases to be a toddler when they have met a number of milestones such as communication, toilet training, and motor skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1884" OwnerDisplayName="Lynn" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T15:31:26.490" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2011-11-28T15:42:42.933" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The terms 'baby' and 'toddler' would not be used of a child simultaneously but because of their vagueness might overlap if applied logically. Some sources give definitions by age that do not overlap, but that is an artificial division.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/baby&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby&lt;/a&gt; (or synonymously an infant) is a child that has just been born and cannot yet talk (incidentally to around 1 year old when they start to talk)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thefreedictionary.com/toddler&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;toddler&lt;/a&gt; is a child that has just learned to walk (and this incidentally occurs around 1 year of age)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The upper limit between a toddler and just a very young child is much vaguer, I think of it as literally when the child is well-balanced (that is not 'toddling' any more). A four year old doesn't seem to be a toddler any more but a three year old might be. Even a two year could get away with not being a toddler and instead just a very young child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But despite the logical fact that one might be able to talk but not yet able to walk or walk and not talk (in the varying ways that abilities develop in a child), one would be hard pressed to label a child both a baby and a toddler. If you can walk, you're not a baby any more, you're a toddler. If you can speak but can't yet walk, you'd probably still be labeled a baby (though maybe not an infant). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Mitch" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-11-28T21:16:00.100" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T21:16:00.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2011-11-28T18:23:29.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;They are definitely not mutually exclusive in at least one instance: when referring to &quot;the baby&quot; (of the family), you are referring to the youngest child, regardless of age. In that sense, &quot;the baby&quot; might be a toddler or even a child or teenager. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Yamikuronue" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T18:23:29.620" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2011-11-28T19:48:15.657" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think in common usage, a toddler can be baby that can walk or a young child.  A baby becomes a toddler when they can walk, but you can still call them a baby until they are maybe two years old.  You can call them a toddler until they turn 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1877" LastActivityDate="2011-11-28T19:48:15.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="197" CreationDate="2011-11-29T00:39:31.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I notice that many people have stated that not having to wake completely to nurse is a major benefit. I am a bit baffled by this being such a strong argument for co-sleeping for a number of reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nursing a newborn was not that easy for me, perhaps because I am very large chested and there was a constant danger of suffocating my daughter while feeding her (I suppose this is not a universal issue.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I rarely fully woke up while nursing my daughter at night - her crib was in our room and so was a place for me to sit. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Generally the part that did require waking up was the need of a dry or clean diaper - I do not understand how co-sleeping assists in this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question prompted me to do some research and I found that there are studies that will &quot;prove&quot; that either way is better. This leads me to believe that there is no real evidence either way. Personally the chance, no matter how small, that &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; might smother my child is enough that I will not co-sleep with her. The death of a baby would be devastating regardless, but the guilt and self anger that would come with smothering my own child would be unbearable (I am assuming).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-29T20:27:17.817" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T20:27:17.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3507" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3509" CreationDate="2011-11-29T04:00:56.977" Score="12" ViewCount="145521" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been trying to get our infant on a schedule, but he tends to fall asleep before he's done eating, which makes it challenging, because he doesn't finish, and wakes up hungry too early. It also makes it more difficult to burp him and once or twice he has choked a bit on the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's exclusively bottle-fed. I don't know of any other way to properly support a newborn for feeding other than holding him, which I'm sure makes him warm and very comfortable – who wouldn't fall asleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any suggestions for how to help him stay awake during feedings so he can finish safely and completely?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1886" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T02:27:31.990" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T01:59:16.497" Title="How can I keep my infant from sleeping while bottle feeding?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3507" CreationDate="2011-11-29T05:45:46.580" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before our daughter was born we took a first-parents class.  This is apparently a common enough occurrence that they actually discussed it.  I'll try my best to describe what they showed us to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you've ever seen the movie Inception the sensation of falling wakes people up.  This apparently holds true even for babies.  We were told to firmly support the baby's whole body especially the head and neck.  Placing our hands under the baby's head with our arms along the full length of the baby's body we would 'swing' the baby's upper body down and then raise the baby back up.  Not too fast but not slow either.  Trying to simulate that feeling of falling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly recommend discussing this issue with a breast feeding specialist even if you're not breast feeding.  There should be one at your pediatric clinic or they should know how to find one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1887" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T05:45:46.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3507" CreationDate="2011-11-29T08:48:49.440" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used to undo the legs on the babygrow to keep their feet out - this meant we could tickle their feet if they started to fall asleep before they had had enough milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a gentle tickle was usually enough to wake them up enough to feed (albeit sleepily)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T08:48:49.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3304" CreationDate="2011-11-29T11:47:23.803" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone who lives in Holland and who regularly goes to New York to visit his family, I can tell you right now that any flying with a small child is going to be problematic. With my first child, we took her on a plane when she was 4 months old (for a 4 hour flight to Israel, for a friend's wedding), and then when she was 9 months old (to New York, when my father suddenly passed away).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short answer to your question is that in theory, even babies only a few weeks old can fly on an airplane, but there are a lot of things to think about (forgetting about the germs that fly around in the circulated air, which is also something to think about if your child is sensitive to that sort of thing):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Bring toys to keep your child entertained. You won't be able to keep them completely focused on the toys for the duration of the flight, but it'll help distract them when they start to get fussy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Bring a car seat with you on the plane, especially if the flight is longer than a couple of hours. Yes, you may have to pay for an extra seat, but guess what - you're going to be doing that sooner or later anyway. And by bringing a car seat with you, you assure yourself that you have a safe place for your child to sit while you look for the pacifier or bottle in your carry-on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Check your stroller in. Some airlines will allow you to check this in without hitting you with an extra baggage fee. The only thing to worry about - the stroller will either be the first thing waiting for you as you get off the plane, or the LAST thing they get off the plane (I had both happen to me at one time or another).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Breast-feed or give a bottle when taking off and landing. Supposedly this helps alleviate some of the air pressure problems your child might get. If nothing else, by feeding your child when you're about to take off, you might be able to buy yourself an hour of rest before you have to entertain your baby again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) Accept that some people are going to be pissed, and do what you have to do when you bring your child on a plane. I once walked up and down the aisle with my daughter in my arms in an effort to comfort her in the middle of the flight. There were quite a few angry looks, but that's all that they can do (at least without facing arrest on landing). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6) Ask the attendants for help when necessary. Most attendants will have no problem giving you extra hot water to heat up your formula, for example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1876" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T11:47:23.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3511" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3513" CreationDate="2011-11-29T13:26:01.343" Score="4" ViewCount="20738" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess I'd have to say I'm still struggling with this question, which is why I'm throwing it out here for others to answer: what is your feeling on giving pacifiers to young children, and how old does a child have to be to start using a pacifier?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that many people frown on using pacifiers, but when my kids are crying, sometimes I just need to get them to calm down, and giving them a pacifier is one option I use to try and calm everyone down. Besides, there's something strangely funny about seeing my daughter put TWO pacifiers in her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, what are your experiences with them, and how young is too young?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1876" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-11-30T16:48:00.283" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T16:48:00.283" Title="How old does a child have to be to start using a pacifier?" Tags="|toddler|infant|pacifier|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3511" CreationDate="2011-11-29T14:32:04.443" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that ultimately it's a personal decision. Your child needs soothed, and you need to find a way to do that that you're comfortable with and works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;sometimes, in the face of reality, idealism yields to pragmatism. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for &quot;how young&quot;, my youngest shoved his thumb in his mouth as soon as he was born, so I can't imagine that there's any age that's too young. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T14:32:04.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3511" CreationDate="2011-11-29T14:35:59.210" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe there is any compelling reason to avoid pacifier use for infants, particularly after the first 4 weeks (although earlier might be okay, too; see below).  Ultimately, the decision may be influenced by your child's preference.  My son had absolutely no interest in pacifiers by the time he was about 2 months old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In truth, there actually is some compelling evidence in &lt;em&gt;favor&lt;/em&gt; of pacifier use (if your child will use them): there is some evidence that pacifier use in the first year can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/03/070312152207.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;reduce the likelihood of SIDS&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The potential negatives, particularly in the first year or two, are relatively few.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the primary concerns for artificial nipples/pacifiers is related to breastfeeding.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1693/is-nipple-confusion-a-real-thing&quot;&gt;Nipple confusion&lt;/a&gt; is the term commonly used to describe a child developing a preference for a specific type of nipple that conflicts with their normal feeding method (usually the undesired preference is for an artificial nipple, although a preference for breastfeeding in a child who, for whatever reason, will not typically be breastfed, could also fall into this category).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is some debate over whether &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1021/can-pacifier-use-interfere-with-breastfeeding&quot;&gt;pacifier use can interfere with breastfeeding&lt;/a&gt;.  Marie's very good &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2957/420&quot;&gt;answer&lt;/a&gt; to that question references some research that found no correlation between pacifier use and reductions in breastfeeding.  However, she raises the issue of infants preferring the easiest route, and if breastfeeding is difficult for the child, it seems possible that use of a pacifier could complicate the process of learning to breastfeed further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another concern is the potential of dental problems.  However, according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pacifiers/PR00067&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;the Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt; this is not an issue during the first few years of a baby's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Mayo Clinic also provides a nice Pro/Con list for pacifier use:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Pro&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A pacifier might soothe a fussy baby.&lt;/strong&gt; Some babies are happiest when&#xA;  they're sucking on something. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A pacifier offers temporary distraction.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  A pacifier might come in handy during shots, blood tests or other&#xA;  procedures. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A pacifier might help your baby fall asleep.&lt;/strong&gt; If your baby&#xA;  has trouble settling down, a pacifier might do the trick. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A pacifier&#xA;  might ease discomfort during flights.&lt;/strong&gt; Babies can't intentionally &quot;pop&quot;&#xA;  their ears by swallowing or yawning to relieve ear pain caused by air&#xA;  pressure changes. Sucking on a pacifier might help. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pacifiers might help reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  Researchers have found an association between pacifier use during&#xA;  sleep and a reduced risk of SIDS.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pacifiers are disposable.&lt;/strong&gt; When it's&#xA;  time to stop using pacifiers, you can throw them away. If your child&#xA;  prefers to suck on his or her thumb or fingers, it might be more&#xA;  difficult to break the habit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Con&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Early pacifier use might interfere with breast-feeding.&lt;/strong&gt; Sucking on a breast is different from sucking on a pacifier or bottle, and some babies are sensitive to those differences. Research suggests that early use of artificial nipples is associated with decreased exclusive breast-feeding and duration of breast-feeding — although it's not clear if artificial nipples cause breast-feeding problems or serve as a solution to an existing problem.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your baby might become dependent on the pacifier.&lt;/strong&gt; If your baby uses a pacifier to sleep, you might face frequent middle-of-the-night crying spells when the pacifier falls out of your baby's mouth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pacifier use might increase the risk of middle ear infections.&lt;/strong&gt; However, rates of middle ear infections are generally lowest from birth to age 6 months — when the risk of SIDS is the highest and your baby might be most interested in a pacifier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Prolonged pacifier use might lead to dental problems.&lt;/strong&gt; Normal pacifier use during the first few years of life doesn't cause long-term dental problems. However, prolonged pacifier use might cause a child's top front teeth to slant outward or not come in properly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T14:35:59.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3403" CreationDate="2011-11-29T15:48:27.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the other answers I'd like to offer up one that may seem simple but yet it can be extremely powerful especially if you feel your teen may be rebellious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously you can't tell a rebellious teenager not to do something.  They will feel compelled to do it.  But if you make it sound like it is they're decision to make and how disappointed you are in that decision then you have a chance of getting through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest talking to your child.  Let them know that you are aware they are smoking, also let them know that you believe they are smart enough to know the consequences, and then finally express your disappointment in the decision they've made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1887" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T15:48:27.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3511" CreationDate="2011-11-29T17:04:20.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I worked in daycares before having kids of my own and I can say from personal experience that I hate pacifiers. Yes it helps the child self soothe, but it seems like after a while they don't really NEED it, they just USE it because it has become a habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of parents at the daycares had a hard time weening their children off of their pacifiers and some eventually gave up. It is also gross to hear a child learning how to talk with a binky stuck in their mouth. Some kids had &quot;binky talk&quot; when they didn't have it in their mouth because that is how they were learning to talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's never too young for a pacifier though. I was lucky with my son, he would spit it out so I gave up. Didn't give one to my daughter, but my mom taught her how to suck on her finger. Now I can't get her to stop. Kind of like the pacifier game. Seems to me that if you don't offer one, you don't need to worry about trying to get them to stop. Easy peasy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T17:04:20.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3511" CreationDate="2011-11-29T17:51:13.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife was against a pacifier for our daughter due to the risk of later dental problems. However, we found that our daughter started sucking her thumb instead. We figured that a pacifier was at least something we could control - you can't take away a child's thumbs. She was given one as a baby and it was gradually removed from her at the age of 18 months. When we removed it, we simply left it tied to her pram so she could use it in the pram but no elsewhere. For a while, she would seek our her pram just to use the pacifier but over time that became too much work for her so she just gave it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T17:51:13.270" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3511" CreationDate="2011-11-29T19:19:30.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in favor of using pacifiers for the short term, like when the baby is hungry and you need to buy yourself a minute to make a bottle.  For my daughters, I would let them fall asleep with it, then gently take it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem with them is that if you leave it in too much, the baby comes to expect it and you're always playing the game of putting it back in.  In other words, instead of it pacifying the baby while waiting for their needs to be met, the pacifier itself becomes the need.  Babies are needy enough without adding another one to the mix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We adopted our son when he was one year old, and his foster mother before us had him using a pacifier 24/7, a practice we let him continue for about another year and a half because it was so deeply ingrained.  He is four and a half now, off a pacifier for two years, and still has problems calming himself down.  He cries at the drop of a hat, and doesn't stop crying until he is told.  I don't know if the difficulty in self soothing stems from his early heavy pacifier use, or if that personality trait was what made him prone to pacifier &quot;addiction&quot; in the first place, but the correlation is definitely there, and the contrast with our other kids who only used pacifiers in moderation is clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-11-29T19:19:30.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3304" CreationDate="2011-11-30T00:00:41.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, our first child, made a visit to the Bahamas from the west coast of the US when she was six months old and came with us on a trip to Southeast Asia when she was nine months old.  It really wasn't a big problem for us, since an infant who isn't mobile is in general a lot easier to maintain (and is easier to get to sleep for most of the flight).  The trans-Pacific flight was actually easier in some ways, as Singapore Air had a bassinet that clipped into the bulkhead that we could have her sleep in, which really improved things.  It also helps that they placed us in a bulkhead row as a matter of policy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that your current plan of you staying behind is going to require work to ensure that your child will take a bottle.  Neither of my kids would have anything to do with a bottle, which would have made that very difficult to pull off.  That's probably largely due to me being lax in practicing with a bottle, so make sure you stay on top of that if that's the way you're going to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="560" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T00:00:41.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3304" CreationDate="2011-11-30T11:41:13.390" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age it is incredibly easy to take them on flights - it only gets difficult when they are mobile. Also, while they are breastfeeding, pressure changes don't seem to affect them, whereas when they are older but haven't yet learned how to equalise pressure they can get distressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned in other answers, for take-off and landing you will have them on your lap, and if you book in advance, get a sky-cot as you can never rely on an empty seat next to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even aeroplane toilets are pretty easy to change a baby in - just make sure your changing bag is well stocked with everything you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T11:41:13.390" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3520" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3525" CreationDate="2011-11-30T17:48:54.557" Score="4" ViewCount="3290" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just had a chat today with the teacher of my 7 years old daughter. The teacher told me my daughter has a very short attention span during the class. She can't concentrate more than a few minutes on a subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like all good parents I suspect the problem also comes from the teacher not making her class interesting enough! But still I would like to help my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The teacher said my daughter was bright - she only has very good grades - but she could be even more successful if she was a bit less fidgety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips much appreciated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1894" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-11-30T19:42:40.907" LastActivityDate="2014-09-06T19:05:49.913" Title="How can my 7yo daugher increase her attention span in school?" Tags="|behavior|school|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3520" CreationDate="2011-11-30T18:11:02.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could be normal 7 year old behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could be your teacher is boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could be ADD or some variant there-of. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could be a LD or some variant there-of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could be that she's not being challenged to her level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE: I suppose I should clarify my point...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reasons why she could be not retaining attention are incredibly varied and span a rather large spectrum of reasons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up with undiagnosed ADD and my mother chose the 'apply yourself lecture' which really didn't work at all (as you'd expect). Later in life as an adult, I've found some methods and medications that work perfectly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's but one example and an example of a treatment that would be completely wrong for any of the other reasons listed above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, the answer is: we really can't answer this without more research as to the root cause of the problem (or if it's even truly a problem). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2011-11-30T20:03:30.187" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T20:03:30.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3520" CreationDate="2011-11-30T19:12:17.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would work on a behavioral cue, something that I could do when I notice her attention wandering to get her back on track again. Not something as demeaning as a finger snap, but something subtle that only she would recognize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, possibly a reward system. At her age the promise of a sticker, or something similar for periods of attention may get the result you want. And then lengthening the amount of time it takes to get the reward as it becomes easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1821" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T19:12:17.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3523" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3527" CreationDate="2011-11-30T19:39:32.143" Score="7" ViewCount="583" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 3.5 year old and a 2.5 year old and they're both exhibiting this behavior:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They prefer to watch mommy and daddy play rather than do it themselves. I think it started with drawing, we'd show them shapes, and they'd say ask for more: &quot;More circles!&quot; or &quot;More clouds!&quot; and I thought we were doing pretty good demonstrating how to draw a shape, first with a few examples, then holding their hands, then letting them try followed by praise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it seemed to always follow a path where they'd ask again for more and we'd encourage &quot;okay, keep drawing&quot; or something like that, and then they'd say &quot;No.. you do it!&quot; and if we came back to help, it would repeat - as long as they were moving their hand and such, they'd be fine. So reasonably at some point we have to tell them that they can keep drawing, but we have to continue doing what we were doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has spread in to other activities, where when we play, they want us to drive the cars on the playmat, etc. and it seems to be getting a little silly with respect to how often they insist we do the activity that is intended for them. They just watch. It's become so that if I want to play with them, I end up playing by myself while they watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On their own, they're great with respect to imagination and motivation, it's as soon as we attempt to 'join in' that they back off completely and just want to watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a good way to respond to this? Should we stop playing until they rejoin the activity? At present if we refuse, they will continue to insist until they get bored and walk away and start something that isn't really structured or constructive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it is really basic things that they will stand and ask for help (such as picking something up off the ground in front of them) - I'm concerned this is learned helplessness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1895" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:29:32.673" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:29:32.673" Title="How do you respond to a toddler who insists on having you do their activities for them?" Tags="|toddler|play-time|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3524" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3526" CreationDate="2011-11-30T19:47:15.080" Score="5" ViewCount="970" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is currently pregnant with our second child. We haven't had a prenatal visit yet. With the first pregnancy we had the first prenatal visit long before now. Perhaps we're delaying because we didn't feel like the prenatal visits were very productive at the beginning. That causes me to ask, when should the first prenatal visit be? What is the latest recommended time to start?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1570" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T20:18:39.257" Title="When should prenatal visits begin?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3520" CreationDate="2011-11-30T20:01:53.527" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is very bright, and it would appear to be the case, then the lack of attention might be caused by simple &lt;em&gt;boredom.&lt;/em&gt; The teacher has to make sure all students learn the material, but this often means that the smartest in the class are bored. There are several ways to handle this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One method would be for the teacher to change teaching style to be more engaging, and provide challenges on different levels so that there is something for everyone. This would be a suggestion for the teacher though, and you might not be able to suggest this without insulting her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other methods involve giving the child extra tasks during class, either covertly (tasks given by the parent, at home) or overtly (extra assignments given by the teacher).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For the former, you could give your daughter extra instructions, for instance paying attention to any special words the teacher uses, and discussing them at home, or collecting statistics on how often the other kids answer, and do so correctly. If nothing else, this gives your daughter something to do instead of daydreaming, and it might even help her learn new things or words.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Extra assignments from the teacher might not be allowed from the school, this depends on national and regional laws. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discuss these ideas with the teacher, perhaps you can come up with something even better. The goal is to find something that engages your daughter and keeps her attention high, without creating a lot of overhead or extra work for the teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These other questions might also have useful answers for you:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/203/what-can-be-done-to-help-bright-children-stuck-in-a-boring-school&quot;&gt;What can be done to help bright children stuck in a boring school?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2736/how-can-you-encourage-a-child-in-a-school-subject-they-dont-like&quot;&gt;How can you encourage a child in a school subject they don&amp;#39;t like?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1557/will-my-child-disturb-the-class-when-he-starts-first-grade-already-reading-and-w&quot;&gt;What do I do about the fact that my child can already read, write and do math before entering Kindergarten?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update based on comments:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't mean to say that the problem the teacher or her style. Based on the details of the question, it appears that the problem is paying attention &lt;em&gt;in school&lt;/em&gt; so the solution must involve that place too, though of course not necessarily driven by the teacher. I am offering ways to improve the attention &lt;em&gt;by having the child do more.&lt;/em&gt; It's just that someone has to give her some tasks -- either the teacher or the parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-12-23T08:04:39.450" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3524" CreationDate="2011-11-30T20:18:39.257" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should go sooner, rather than later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/prenatal-care/PR00008&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt; suggests you schedule the appointment as soon as you think you are pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.americanpregnancy.org/planningandpreparing/firstprenatal.htm&quot;&gt;American Pregnancy Association&lt;/a&gt; recommends that you go in 8 weeks after your wife's LMP (last menstrual period), &lt;em&gt;unless&lt;/em&gt; you have not already met with your health care provider &lt;strong&gt;prior to becoming pregnant&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Even if you are not a first time mom, prenatal visits are still important because every pregnancy can be different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you felt that the early prenatal visits you had on the first pregnancy weren't productive, you may want to consider looking for another healthcare provider.  The early visits should establish important background information that could impact the pregnancy, ranging from estimated due date (this is based off of the LMP) to risk factors for complications.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first visit should cover:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Medical History&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Due Date&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A physical exam&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lab tests&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A discussion of any lifestyle issues that may impact the pregnancy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Screening tests&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all seriousness, my advice is to schedule an appointment right away.  Why take chances?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T20:18:39.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3523" CreationDate="2011-11-30T20:27:36.420" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're right that this needs to stop. I can easily imagine how you got yourself into this situation; of course you want to engage with your kids, and it's fun and cute, at least in the beginning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But as long as you're doing the playing for them, &lt;strong&gt;they are not developing their creativity and imagination,&lt;/strong&gt; which is very important at their age. That only comes to them from having to figure out &lt;em&gt;on their own&lt;/em&gt; what the next shape is going to be, and where to drive that car. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if you're picking up toys for them that are right before their feet, then &lt;strong&gt;you're allowing them to be lazy&lt;/strong&gt; in the extreme! This can come back and bite you hard later on, so be sure that anything and everything they &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do themselves, they &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you can get away with a gradual change. Small kids understand &lt;em&gt;consistent behavior&lt;/em&gt; best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what I would recommend is to tell them that you will no longer play &lt;em&gt;for&lt;/em&gt; them. If they're sweet, you might want to play &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; them, but only as long as they play too. If they stop, you stop. And when you stop, you take a break (15 minutes, an hour, whatever feels right at the time, but it has to be significant). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared to do this often in the beginning. Very often. But don't give in, make no exceptions. Consistency is key. Keep in mind that if you do give in, you lose a lot of the training effort. This is your internal motivation to stay firm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that you have other tasks to do, and if they insist on you playing with them, then those other tasks can't get done. &lt;em&gt;We can't go to the playground / read bedtime stories / (insert activity here) now because you wanted me to draw with you. Now I'm doing the laundry I couldn't do before.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It'll take weeks or even months, but they will learn to create their own entertainment, and they'll get better at it. It will also become more structured and constructive along the way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T20:27:36.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3528" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3540" CreationDate="2011-11-30T22:08:58.017" Score="30" ViewCount="1420" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no shortage of questions here that relate to stopping or limiting computer time and game playing. What studies are motivating these concerns? I ask this as someone biased because I spent a lot of my youth on a computer and playing games and I am now a successful professional with a family and a good sense of balance (no 30-hour marathons anymore!) and while my parents were usually concerned, they never did anything to limit my use. I had a computer in my room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see why reading books is superior to playing on the computer personally, but I'd be interested to see some scientific, preferably long-term studies that establish facts about what constitutes abuse or addiction or otherwise unsafe levels of computer usage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems a lot of people ask, &quot;All my child likes to do is [x], how do I get them to stop and find something else that they will like doing?&quot; When they really mean, &quot;something &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; like[d] doing&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that monitoring/restricting &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; they do on the computer makes sense to me, e.g. white listing domains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1895" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-08-22T16:07:14.280" LastActivityDate="2022-05-21T09:10:06.427" Title="What studies exist regarding computer usage and computer game playing that support limiting access?" Tags="|research|video-games|computer|screen-time|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3529" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3531" CreationDate="2011-11-30T22:22:22.940" Score="4" ViewCount="3432" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many doctors and midwives have strict restrictions on how far past the due date you can go before they'll induce labor. Some let you go 1 week, others 2 weeks. Many natural birth advocates claim that this is somewhat bogus because due date predictions are very rough estimates and are subject to a lot of change. I'm not educated on the methodology of predicting due dates to have an educated opinion, so I thought I'd put it to the community...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are due dates an accurate measurement of babys maturity (or over-maturity)? Has their accuracy improved over time with new methods? Should they relied on any more than a rough guestimate of when the baby has become mature or over mature to the point of requiring induction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I'm not trying to incite a flamewar over natural child birth, I just want facts)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastEditorUserId="162" LastEditDate="2011-11-30T22:49:45.157" LastActivityDate="2016-06-17T01:32:57.227" Title="Do pregnancy due dates accurately measure maturity (and over maturity)?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3529" CreationDate="2011-11-30T23:23:26.770" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although initially they go by a fixed number of weeks based on the last menstrual cycle, my wife's doctor adjusted the due date once or twice based on the actual size of the fetus.  That tells me they estimate the due date based on the baby's maturity rather than the other way around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-11-30T23:23:26.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3529" CreationDate="2011-12-01T01:00:30.447" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If they are using the last menstrual date as the only indication than it is potentially very inaccurate as many women have irregular cycles. However if the mother is receiving regular ultrasounds your doctor should be able to correct with good accuracy for this. They may not be able to give an exact conception date, but close enough to make an accurate decision. Beyond that though they are going to largely rely on their personal and institutional preference when deciding exactly how long to wait.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as if all babies are &quot;done&quot; in 40 weeks of gestation, that's quite a bit more complicated most fetuses will have a high survival rate after they reach around 1 KG and around 26 weeks gestational age, though some neonatal intervention would generally be required. After about 37 weeks it's really about not interfering with the natural process unless there seems to be a pressing need since there's a great deal of research leading to the conclusion that outcomes improve when intervention is minimized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1896" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T01:00:30.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2011-12-01T02:13:00.760" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to ask, when you say your niece's hair 'grows out at all angles,' do you mean that it's straight and has a strange bend to it, or is it perhaps borderline curly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask because sometimes hair that is borderline curly/wavy can LOOK straightish, but if it seems you're always having a bad hair day, she may actually be needing different care than usual straight hair. Borderline curly hair can be more brittle and hard to manage. It took me a while to realize my daughter's hair was actually curly - not just wild - and had to be treated differently than my hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a great book: Curly Girl - that deals with curly hair and folks with borderline curls (wild hair at odd angles). It sounds to me that your niece &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; fit the bill? That book recommends that you DON'T shampoo hair if you can avoid it. You just condition hair and maybe put mousse in it. (Shampoos are harsh on delicate, fine hair.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that sounds totally counter-intuitive, but I tried that regimen and my daughter's impossible, stick-out everywhere hair suddenly smoothed out into these gorgeous ringlets. Her hair is so fine and dry and brittle that it needed lots of conditioning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I think hair products on a toddler (gel, mousse) may SOUND odd, but it's actually just fine so long as it's done in small amounts and is non-toxic and not eaten. Again, with the right treatment, we went from messy hair that was impossible to deal with to lovely hair in the space of a morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last note, I find my toddler will put in hair ties, etc., but will yank them out the second she's in her carseat bored. If you can get your kiddo to wear hair stuff, bully for you. I sure can't. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1802" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T02:13:00.760" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3528" CreationDate="2011-12-01T02:25:52.847" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Limiting screen time (and sometimes, although rarely book time) has forced my kids to learn to be social creatures, with the ability to play, interact, problem solve and enjoy being in peoples company.  I am a strong believer in socialization in all forms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T02:25:52.847" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3438" CreationDate="2011-12-01T03:37:04.557" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I make banana &quot;ice cream&quot;. Peel and freeze whole bananas (it's a good way to use up the spotty ones at the bottom of the fruit bowl). When they are frozen, give them a whizz in the food processor (it makes a bit of a racket at first). Result - consistency of soft ice cream, but contains nothing except bananas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1897" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T03:37:04.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2011-12-01T03:41:22.287" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would she wear a hat or headscarf? Maybe if she is allowed to select one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1897" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T03:41:22.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3507" CreationDate="2011-12-01T06:28:48.473" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;For ours I find it works pretty well to start to simply start to pull the bottle out of her mouth, or wiggle it around.  I start gentle and increase to fairly aggressive wiggling as needed and so far we have not suffered any bottle nipple related injuries.  The advantage to this is you don't really have to change positions from feeding.  However you have to be paying attention and catch them before they fall asleep completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1429" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T06:28:48.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="199" CreationDate="2011-12-01T09:22:30.733" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Bill's answer but my wife only swears by using bedwetting alarm (such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0013LRVWA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one at Amazon&lt;/a&gt;.) The alarm rings as soon as the child starts wetting his bed. This wakes him (and us) up and he can then finish in the toilet. After a few days/weeks the child gets used to waking up when he needs it and you don't need the alarm any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1894" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-12-02T07:10:39.540" LastActivityDate="2011-12-02T07:10:39.540" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3462" CreationDate="2011-12-01T09:30:48.237" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Darwy's Answer is the one I accepted as there was plenty of choice on there, but we found a lot of those items too expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing it encouraged us to to do was to check out eBay, where we found a seller called &lt;a href=&quot;http://myworld.ebay.co.uk/bumps_beyond/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bumps and Beyond&lt;/a&gt;, who do far more reasonable prices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T09:30:48.237" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-12-01T09:30:48.237" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2011-12-01T09:57:42.527" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a bit surprised that no one has so far stated one of the obvious things you'll need&amp;nbsp;— clothing, and lots of it (yes, people will give you clothing as gifts, but not all of them will be for when you need them, and you don't want to rely on other people's gifts, especially if they give the gifts late).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies will puke up on their own clothing. Babies will also grow out of their clothing very quickly. You'll want to make sure you have clothing for newborns and size 3–6 months for starters. You can also get bigger clothing, but newborn clothing is essential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What types of clothing should you get?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Onesies — these are a kind of shirt you button under the waist.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shirts, pants and socks. You want to make sure your baby is properly clothed, especially because they cannot regulate their own temperature for starters.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Coats &amp;amp; caps, especially if you live in cold weather climates (and even if you live in Florida, it's been known to snow there a few times during the winter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pyjama outfits — sort of like onesies, but they cover the whole body from the neck down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For baby clothing, give them a quick wash in the washer to get rid of any residue it may have from sitting on a shelf.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing you may want to consider getting is a hot water bottle and a cloth cover for it. I don't know if they have them in America (I'm assuming they do, but I haven't actively shopped for them when I was there), but essentially you want something you can put on your baby's crib to keep the sheet warm when the baby is not there. The key here, though, is warm&amp;nbsp;— &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; hot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1876" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2013-12-27T13:57:09.807" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T13:57:09.807" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-12-01T09:57:42.527" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3528" CreationDate="2011-12-01T13:48:38.193" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although I don't claim expertise in the subject, there appear to be two functional sides to the debate between violent behavior and violent video games, with varying amounts of evidence to support either side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Side saying video games causes aggression&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has been demonstrated in &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt; experimental psychological studies that even &lt;em&gt;brief&lt;/em&gt; exposure to violent media tends to have measurable effects on aggressive behavior. Behavior should be used slightly loosely here though, frequently measures of behavior are survey responses (e.g. given this situation would you punch this person) or some other controlled situation that is difficult to relate to behavior in normal human interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is then theoretically interpreted as, well slight exposure to violence can cause appreciable effects on aggression in the short run, so likely more long term exposure can &lt;em&gt;theoretically&lt;/em&gt; cause individuals to become more aggressive and have more dramatic effects on behavior. Then apparently some studies have shown for observational samples that children who play more violent video games tend to be more violent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Side saying there is unlikely any connection&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the critiques against the connections between violent video games and violence are in general critiques of the observational associations. So, unlike the experiments in which we can randomly pick a group of kids to expose to violence in a movie or a video game for an hour or two, we can't randomly expose kids to video games &lt;em&gt;for a long time&lt;/em&gt;. No one is saying if you play a video game once you are going to get in fights on the playground, it is &lt;em&gt;long term&lt;/em&gt; exposure we are talking about. So, the observational studies survey a group of kids, and ask them how often they play video games, and then ask them if they get in fights or other measures of violent behavior. The problem with this logic is though, the kids who &lt;em&gt;choose&lt;/em&gt; to play violent video games likely differ from kids who do not play violent video games on a host of other characteristics besides playing video games. It is just as likely that kids who are already more aggressive are drawn to play violent video games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long story short, IMO, there is strong empirical evidence linking short term exposure to  violent media and indirect measures of aggression in short time periods after being exposed. Where the evidence is lacking is the connection between long term exposure and real changes in behavior. The observational studies trying to establish this relationship are far from convincing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I have picked information up from various articles related to my field and just general news articles on the subject (so feel free to not take my word for it, and do some digging yourself). There is alot of stuff floating around the internet, and general searches would turn up a ton of material. One of the most recent popular papers on the Social Science Research Network was a paper&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1804959&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Understanding the Effects of Violent Video Games on Violent Crime&lt;/a&gt; by (Cunningham et al., 2011)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now this isn't peer-reviewed, but the authors are credentialed. And you can always do a general search yourself for peer reviewed papers on Google Scholar. Just a simple search for &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?start=10&amp;amp;q=violent+video+game&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=1,33&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;violent video game&lt;/a&gt; brings up several highly cited papers and meta-analysis on the topic. This same question was also brought up on the skeptics site, &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/q/598&quot;&gt;Do violent video games cause violent behavior?&lt;/a&gt;, although those responses don't cite any more sources (besides wikipedia) than I am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this is more specific than you are asking for. But this is likely the most popular topic connecting game playing to behavior, and many of the same types of critiques connecting other game playing to behavior or health (such as lack of activity and obesity) can be applied in a similar manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1066" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T13:48:38.193" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-12-01T14:13:15.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in that same postion with my son. He is 9 years old. So far he still believes. I don't plan on telling him anything. He will figure it out because he is a smart boy. He asked me last week if I believed in Santa and I told him yes I did. That wasn't a lie. Maybe in a different way then he does but I do beleive in Santa. I would NEVER take away the magic of it all. If kids can't believe in magic then it's a sad thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find out when I saw my father putting presents under the tree. I was 9 years old.  I never thought that my parents lied to me or I couldn't trust them. Kids don't think like that.  They believe all parents are good. They have untainted hearts and thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1900" LastActivityDate="2011-12-01T14:13:15.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3528" CreationDate="2011-12-01T19:52:42.933" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of different sub-topics I have found to be the focus of research on video game and computer use by children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Violence&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The topic which has received the most attention is violence, particularly the perceived correlation between violent media and violent behavior in those who view violent programming/play violent video games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Andy W mentioned, there are a lot of studies on this topic, and again as Andy W mentions, &lt;a href=&quot;https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jip.76/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;there are claims that the research linking video games and incidents of extreme violent behavior are faulty and fail to acknowledge the significant methodological and constructional divides between existing video game research and acts of serious aggression and violence&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some studies go so far as to &lt;a href=&quot;https://doi.org/10.1007/s11126-007-9056-9&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;claim that not only is the hypothesis that violent game playing was associated with violent behavior unsupported by the evidence, but focus on the improvements in visuospatial cognition&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; A &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120402112828.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;much more recent study&lt;/a&gt; also questions the validity of these studies, while reporting some significant potential benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It turns out that a successful gamer is strategic and technically knowledgeable, and has good timing. Inconsiderate gamers, as well as those who act aggressively or emotionally, generally do not do well. 'The suggested link between games and aggression is based on the notion of transfer, which means that knowledge gained in a certain situation can be used in an entirely different context. The whole idea of transfer has been central in education research for a very long time. The question of how a learning situation should be designed in order for learners to be able to use the learned material in real life is very difficult, and has no clear answers,' says Ivarsson.&#xA;'In a nutshell, we're questioning the whole gaming and violence debate, since it's not based on a real problem but rather on some hypothetical reasoning,' he says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aggression and violence are not the only negative traits associated with extended computer use/video game play, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Sedentary Lifestyle&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Computer use in general, and video games in particular, are associated with sedentary lifestyles.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nature.com/articles/0803064&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;In a study of Swiss children, each additional hour of video games played daily was associated with a doubling of obesity risk.&lt;/a&gt;. However, that same document also cites a study of Australian children which found that after adjusting for covariates, there was no relationship between obesity and time spent with TV, video games, or computers.  The paper then mentions that such null findings are common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, this same paper lists the results of numerous studies of various age groups and localities, and the results frequently seem contradictory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add to that the probability that computer use may not be the primary source of sendentary behavior (according to &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1323315/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this somewhat older study&lt;/a&gt;, &amp;quot;the impact of computers and video games on sedentary behavior is probably not very large, especially when compared with television, as they together comprise only about 10% of the average daily media budget of children aged two to 18&amp;quot;.), and computer use seems unlikely to automatically result in obesity on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Addiction&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Claims of &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.techaddiction.ca/video_game_addiction_statistics.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;the addictive nature of video games&lt;/a&gt; have long been circulating (please note that I include that link only to illustrate the types of claims, as I saw no evidence that that site is remotely reputable, nor anywhere near as &amp;quot;unbiased&amp;quot; as they claim to be, especially since they proudly display &amp;quot;40% of World of Warcraft players are addicted&amp;quot; based off of a single doctor's claim).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am skeptical of the majority of these claims, as many seem based upon the idea of creating a new definition of video game or internet &amp;quot;addiction&amp;quot; based solely upon the amount of time spent, while others seemingly ignore the possibility of major mental health issues that may have expressed obsessive or violent behavior regarding games or internet usage as a symptom, rather than an underlying cause.  However, at least &lt;a href=&quot;https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1046/j.1360-0443.2002.00218.x/full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;one study&lt;/a&gt; has shown that excessive video game playing can result in a number of problems that resemble symptoms of gambling addiction as defined by the DSM-IV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://annals-general-psychiatry.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/1744-859X-5-16.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; claims that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adolescents who play more than one hour of console or Internet video games may&#xA;have more or more intense symptoms of ADHD or inattention than those who do not. Given the&#xA;possible negative effects these conditions may have on scholastic performance, the added&#xA;consequences of more time spent on video games may also place these individuals at increased risk&#xA;for problems in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this study uses Young's Internet Addiction Scale, which is a tool to measure Internet Addiction Disorder, which is itself not a currently valid disorder, and has &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_addiction_disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;not  been recommended by the American Medical Association for inclusion in the upcoming DSM-V&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2022-05-21T09:10:06.427" LastActivityDate="2022-05-21T09:10:06.427" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3543" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3544" CreationDate="2011-12-02T09:21:47.620" Score="25" ViewCount="24795" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the kind of behaviour which I have seen in lot of kids including mine (2 year old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I tell him NOT to hold a knife, he will make sure he does it. If I tell him not to spill milk on the floor, he will drop the glass at that very moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am little confused as to how to stop such a behaviour. I know we should always &quot;scold&quot; our kids if they are doing wrong. But with such a tendency, they will always do what we avoid them to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the right way to tackle such a behaviour?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T19:09:08.953" Title="Why do kids always do things which we tell them NOT to do?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3543" CreationDate="2011-12-02T09:52:14.857" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a psychologist, but I've often heard, that from psychological point of view the &quot;No&quot; or negation in the heard words is subconsciously overheard, so if you tell you child &quot;don't hold the knife&quot;, what passes through to its brain is only &quot;hold the knife&quot;. (I think I read that e. g. in the book &lt;em&gt;&quot;The Secret of Happy Children&quot;&lt;/em&gt; by &lt;a href=&quot;http://web.me.com/stevebiddulph/Site_1/Home.html&quot; title=&quot;Steve Biddulph&quot;&gt;Steve Biddulph&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution is to &lt;strong&gt;use positive expressions&lt;/strong&gt; instead of negative ones.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This is often difficult and sometimes seems impossible to me, but very often it works: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I think it is better to say &quot;be careful&quot; than &quot;don't bang your head on that sharp edge and injure yourself so that we'll have to go to the hospital&quot;!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say &quot;hold the glass carefully&quot; rather than &quot;don't drop it&quot;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say &quot;the knife always stays on the table&quot; rather than &quot;don't touch the knife&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say &quot;always stay on the sidewalk&quot; rather than &quot;Never go on the road&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also heard about this kind of &quot;positive&quot; programming when talking to yourself (loudly or &quot;in your head&quot;):&#xA;e. g. if your driving your car and you are tired &#xA;and you tell yourself &quot;Don't get off the road!&quot;, you will more likely really get off the road than if you tell yourself &quot;stay on the road!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-02T13:09:14.707" LastActivityDate="2011-12-02T13:09:14.707" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3543" CreationDate="2011-12-02T17:49:25.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it stems from their lack of experience.  Think of something complex you have learned recently.  Now imagine how much more difficult it would be to learn if it was taught to you only in terms of what &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to do.  Things like avoiding danger or a mess seem like common sense to us now, but at one point we all struggled to learn those behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is four and a half now and able to stop things if we tell him, but he still just &quot;freezes&quot; if we tell him not to do something.  We can't just say, &quot;stop bothering your sister,&quot; because he has no idea what to do instead.  We have to say, &quot;go play with your toy cars.&quot;  It goes against our nature a little bit, because parents want to establish boundaries but mostly let their kids direct their own play.  However, sometimes you just have to nudge them in the right direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, to specifically address things like spilling milk, it often helps to set the boundaries farther back from the edge.  Instead of just telling them to be careful with the milk, only let them drink when they are focused and sitting down somewhere safe, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-02T17:49:25.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3546" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-02T19:58:07.657" Score="9" ViewCount="426" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is a bright, enthusiastic, caring, extrovert, who also meets the DSM-IV criteria for ADHD. He is social and has good friends. We put him in Montessori because the regular classroom wasn't meeting his needs, not enough challenge and he was being disruptive to the other children. He is a challenge to his teachers because he starts work with enthusiasm but has difficulty finishing it unless they are right there beside him. I have resisted the recommendation to give him medication until now, grade 3. What has changed is that the teachers, who remain objective and do not give an opinion about medication, are telling us he is bright, creative, and a leader with his classmates at recess; it's the writing and projects (which all seem  like reasonable expectations to me) that aren't showing the results they know he is capable of. If he were growing up on a farm, I doubt this would be an issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If diagnosing ADHD was based on blood tests or something more objective than the opinion of frazzled parents and caregivers, I might be more confident making this decision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you decide whether or not to medicate your child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2011-12-03T16:19:25.770" LastActivityDate="2012-11-06T17:41:50.547" Title="To medicate or not to medicate?" Tags="|behavior|adhd|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3493" CreationDate="2011-12-03T02:04:54.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I highly recommend card games.&lt;/strong&gt; I am convinced that this is how I got to be good at maths (and I have consistently been top of my maths classes at school).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the biggest advantages of this system (other than it being both fun and social) is that &lt;strong&gt;it introduces a competitive element, and a direct short-term incentive to learn&lt;/strong&gt;. In order to win the card game, strong maths skills are needed. Furthermore, maths is learnt through practise, and I think that a child is much more likely to spend long periods of time playing a card game than doing maths exercises on a computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on your child's level of maths (and experience with card games), you can start with pontoon (AKA blackjack or 21), and then move on to Rummy (Gin-Rummy is more fun :)) and Whist based games (German Whist is good for 2 players), or any other good card games you know that involve adding up. Other good maths-training games include Monopoly and darts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1552" LastActivityDate="2011-12-03T02:04:54.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3548" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-03T02:32:41.090" Score="5" ViewCount="209" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3154/at-what-age-can-should-a-child-be-able-to-clean-itself-after-bowel-movements&quot;&gt;At what age can/should a child be able to clean itself after bowel movements?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first is now more or less completely potty trained -- the last remaining issue is teaching him how to wipe. Currently we have him call us and we wipe for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any advice on how to tell when he's capable, good teaching methods, etc?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1839" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2011-12-05T22:30:38.913" Title="When's the right time to teach a potty-trained toddler how to wipe their bottom?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2011-12-08T07:31:21.270" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3549" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3560" CreationDate="2011-12-03T12:56:48.527" Score="4" ViewCount="9606" Body="&lt;p&gt;Discharge is soon and we're looking a few odds and ends for our little one, but I'm at a loss for vocabulary and I'm not finding what I need with google and amazon searches. Every time I search,  I get the usual branded/store-branded wet wipes which is not what I want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for the word(s) that describes the cotton, disposable cloths that NICUs/Nurseries use.   I feel like they are &lt;s&gt;4x4&lt;/s&gt; 6x6, but they are folded twice (so I guess they are &lt;s&gt;8x8&lt;/s&gt; 12x12 when unfolded).  We use them to wipe the bottom and wet them as necessary.  There's no lotion, no scents, etc.  We would like to use these at home too (we figure the less we change, the better the transition).  I've seen the packs the nurses bring out and they aren't labeled--I guess those come from a medical supplier?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are those commercially available?  What are they called?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="460" LastEditorUserId="460" LastEditDate="2011-12-03T16:06:57.953" LastActivityDate="2018-01-06T18:19:29.040" Title="What are the square cotton wipes that NICUs/nurseries use called?" Tags="|newborn|premature|diaper|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3550" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3551" CreationDate="2011-12-03T17:39:20.690" Score="31" ViewCount="9152" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent, or in any parenting position.&#xA;I am however kind of worried because of some rules in the house. I've been 18 for a few months now. And I still have quite a tight schema for bed and PC-usage; to bed at 22.30 PM and PC until 20.30PM. Everyone else that I know, has no such rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this schema any good? If not, how do I convince or tell my parents that they should be more relaxed about these kind of things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1909" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditorDisplayName="user2097" LastEditDate="2014-01-14T15:53:43.500" LastActivityDate="2017-06-18T21:47:57.623" Title="Should 18+ kids still have a tight schema for bed and PC-usage?" Tags="|teen|bedtime|adult-child|computer|rules|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2011-12-03T19:39:43.770" Score="52" Body="&lt;p&gt;When legally adult children continue to live with their parents, they &lt;strong&gt;implicitly accept to live by the rules of the house&lt;/strong&gt; because they are legally free to choose to move out and live by their own rules. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The times you mention seem on the conservative side to me. I'm sure your parents mean well but if you want to change things then I would start by figuring out how those limits came to be and exactly what their purpose or goal was then. Perhaps the rules no longer exactly match the goal they have in mind for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your education requires you to be awake and present at 07:00 (several medical educations have that) then going to bed at 22:30 seems reasonable and you should recognize this. If you need to be there at nine then the bedtime is admittedly too early...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Limiting your computer time depends on what you use the computer for. If your parents  know that you only play silly games or surf questionable content, then they'd have a point that it's not helping you anyway. A shared computer in a community area where late use would disturb other members of the household could be another potential reason to restrict its use. If that's not the case, then make an argument what constructive things you could do in the evenings and see what their objections actually are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, I would say that you need to understand what your parents' reasoning is. Once you understand their point of view and their concerns,  you can prepare a case for yourself. So: first talk to them but &lt;strong&gt;don't argue,&lt;/strong&gt; and then at another time talk to them again and make your case.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can find a good compromise, fine!  If not, decide or discuss what your options would be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2011-12-07T22:07:22.127" LastActivityDate="2011-12-07T22:07:22.127" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3549" CreationDate="2011-12-03T22:45:04.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&amp;amp;q=possets&amp;amp;meta=#q=muslins&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;safe=off&amp;amp;prmd=imvns&amp;amp;source=univ&amp;amp;tbm=shop&amp;amp;tbo=u&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=KabaTvvfCcPX8QOl9dXTBA&amp;amp;ved=0CFQQrQQ&amp;amp;bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&amp;amp;fp=c9972000947e837c&amp;amp;biw=1779&amp;amp;bih=946&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Muslins.&lt;/a&gt; And yes, they are commercially available, couple of examples at that link address.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-12-03T22:45:04.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2011-12-04T05:07:06.677" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, I would do the same thing to an 18 year old as any of my kids. They gradually get more freedom to set their own bed time, computer usage, etc, until they are sleeping in, not getting things done, etc. If they blow it, then they are on a tight schedule (For some time, I was sending them to bed at 1900, because they were having serious problems waking up. Now they are doing better, so I'm slowly raising their bedtime again...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="80" LastActivityDate="2011-12-04T05:07:06.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3555" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3556" CreationDate="2011-12-04T07:42:15.820" Score="5" ViewCount="387" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are lots of nutritional food supplements that (arguably) makes our children&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stronger&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sharper&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taller&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me and my mom are having a difference of opinion here. She tells me not to give them. She argues &quot;The lesser chemicals, the stronger our boy will be&quot;. But I think its better to give him those. Most parents are feeding kids supplements anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best for my child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1911" LastEditorUserId="1911" LastEditDate="2011-12-04T12:11:39.787" LastActivityDate="2018-07-16T17:38:48.637" Title="What are the pros and cons of giving nutritional food supplements?" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3555" CreationDate="2011-12-04T10:26:26.643" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Supplements are especially useful in two situations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child suffers from a medical inability to produce a particular important substance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You know that the food you can provide is missing a particular important substance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would only use supplements if any of the above apply (or similar conditions I have missed). If none of these apply, then your child is getting enough nutrition to live a healthy life and does not &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; supplements. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving supplements anyway would indicate that you have particular wishes for the development of the child. If there is a &lt;strong&gt;concern over the artificial or chemical nature&lt;/strong&gt; of the supplements, you should investigate what &lt;strong&gt;natural sources&lt;/strong&gt; you could use instead. Do your own research, or consult your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adjusting the meals to include the desired natural sources would probably be safer and preferable, but not always possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-12-04T10:26:26.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3557" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-04T11:45:38.187" Score="37" ViewCount="38795" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3 year old daughter who spends a bit of time playing with her male cousin who is 5 1/2.  I recently walked in to my daughter's room where they were playing to find my daughter completely naked and the pair of them in a sex-like position.  I understand kids being curious about their bodies and differences between boys and girls, but this was a bit out of my comfort zone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation has brought up a few questions for me. &#xA;the older child is not a fiend and is clearly mimicking some behaviour that he probably shouldn't be witnessing. Is this normal roleplaying behaviour that some kids go through? Can it be harmful to my daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I  am not in a situation where a can stop them playing together, how do I handle the situation with the other parent who is not as concerned as me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1914" LastActivityDate="2016-04-05T18:42:14.853" Title="Sex play in young children" Tags="|sex|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3549" CreationDate="2011-12-05T03:42:08.263" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure Muslins are what the OP is looking for. I don't consider those disposable -- at least not the ones I've seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found this in our bathroom a while back, and was surprised to find that they are what appear to be &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;dry&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; wipes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/07/87/42/08/0007874208052_300X300.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are unscented and hypo-allergenic. The box I have has Aloe, but I have to imagine you can get them without, if you're inclined to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They unfold to 20cm x 16.5cm, so not &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; what you're asking for, but as far as I can tell, functionally equivalent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I couldn't find them on Amazon, but I was able to find them &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.walmart.com/ip/Parent-s-Choice-Unscented-Baby-Wipes-80ct/17619881&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;on Walmart's website, here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1839" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-10T09:42:47.540" LastActivityDate="2011-12-05T03:42:08.263" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3549" CreationDate="2011-12-05T12:30:38.417" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0027OXNDS&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dry Washcloths&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I remember that the nurses refer to them as washcloths--I didn't think that's what they were actually called, so I never bothered to search on that word.  But my wife did and found them on Amazon (Quickables Dry Washcloths).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ZKeYZ.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="460" LastActivityDate="2011-12-05T12:30:38.417" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3184" CreationDate="2011-12-05T13:28:05.680" Score="14" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://h2g2.com/A576669&quot;&gt;If you feel you can, thank the person for coming out to you&lt;/a&gt;. It may&#xA;  feel strange, especially if the news was unwelcome. But hey, the&#xA;  alternative being was kept in the dark while the person pursued their&#xA;  alternative lifestyle anyway. At least this way they are being honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure I'm happy with the phrasing &lt;em&gt;alternative lifestyle&lt;/em&gt;, but anyway, it's still good advice. More, you should &lt;strong&gt;thank your child for trusting you enough to tell you&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Please don't tell the person it is 'no big deal'. To them, it probably&#xA;  is a big deal. Otherwise, they wouldn't have bothered. So your attempt&#xA;  at a super calm reaction may come across as uncaring or ignorant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1920" LastEditorUserId="1920" LastEditDate="2012-09-19T16:29:57.860" LastActivityDate="2012-09-19T16:29:57.860" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3557" CreationDate="2011-12-05T16:14:37.080" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been in a simular situation with my daughter and a female friend when they were 5 and 4.  The friend wanted to see what could fit into my daughter.  I am also not in a situation to keep them from playing together.  I took my daughter to the doctor because she was complaining afterward that it hurt.  the doctor and I together had a discussion with her about touching and privates.  Then for a few years they were not allowed to play privatly, but had to play where an adult can see. Now that my daughter is seven whenever she goes over I remind her of appropriate play and to tell an adult if she thinks it is not appropriate play.  This seems to have worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of why this child was doing this.  I did speak with the parents about what had happened and I spoke to the doctor about the child being as the doctor sees that child as well, hopeful the doctor would keep a look out for odd things.  That was the best I could do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-12-05T21:31:56.983" LastActivityDate="2011-12-05T21:31:56.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3563" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3564" CreationDate="2011-12-05T16:18:22.987" Score="11" ViewCount="23186" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter who is now 7 is still sucking her thumb.  It is a great embarrassment to her and she always talks about how it is her big secret from her friends.  We have tried the finger nail polish, bandaids, and specialized thumb covers, but eventually she overcomes them all because she can not sleep.&#xA;Suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-12-07T12:56:51.223" LastActivityDate="2016-09-07T23:08:23.440" Title="How can we help my 7 year old quit sucking her thumb?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|thumb-sucking|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2017-07-09T12:40:25.727" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3563" CreationDate="2011-12-05T17:17:23.770" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would talk to your dentist.  She may suggest a fixed palatal crib or other corrective device.  The idea behind these devices is they prevent the thumb from touching the gums and make thumb sucking uncomfortable.  After a month or so, the habit is broken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/o4W2g.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastEditorUserId="1729" LastEditDate="2011-12-05T17:48:26.623" LastActivityDate="2011-12-05T17:48:26.623" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3565" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-05T21:13:39.253" Score="3" ViewCount="153" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like some recommendation for resources that will help me understand physical, social and mental development in a child. Also, it would be great to have some resources that suggest activities/topics/etc. that would help the child develop at different ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T22:23:19.600" Title="What are some resources to help understand child development?" Tags="|development|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3566" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-05T21:25:55.437" Score="4" ViewCount="203" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child drops her food.  Sometimes its an accident, but often she is rebelling or throwing a small fit.  Should I give into her tantrums and give her alternative choices?  I am considering not giving her food if she won't eat what is in front of her.  But, I am afraid she may be too young to understand cause and effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1923" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T08:42:43.503" Title="Should I replace the food my 18 month throws on the floor?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3154" CreationDate="2011-12-05T22:30:38.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I posted the link to this question on facebook/twitter/G+ hoping some folks would come back here and answer the question. Several answered THERE instead, the best answer I think came from my mother, so I'm going to present it here on her behalf... though I notice she was answering &quot;how&quot; instead of &quot;when&quot;. The consensus on &quot;when&quot; was &quot;when they ask about it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like any good teaching start with &quot;my turn&quot; and explain what, how and why you are doing each step; next is &quot;our turn&quot; guide him by holding his wrist and modeling what he should do. Last step is &quot;your turn&quot; giving him independent practice with adjustment as needed (reteaching). Not everything has to be done at the same sitting :). By the time he starts kindergarten he should be totally independent for his toilet needs...ask me! Teachers don't have time nor are they paid to wipe noses or butts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2011-12-05T22:30:38.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3565" CreationDate="2011-12-06T03:32:38.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that the best resource (INHO) is your pediatrician. Honestly it is their business to know what your child's needs are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also found &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycenter.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Center&lt;/a&gt; to be a great reference with regular email updates and a nice community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then there is the classic &quot;What to expect when...&quot; series of books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T03:32:38.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3569" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3570" CreationDate="2011-12-06T07:01:59.390" Score="5" ViewCount="1324" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost 20 years old and goes to school away from home, so she has her room over 2 reading breaks, thanksgiving, Christmas break, and summer holidays. I brought up the idea of sharing a room with her 12 year old sister which she didn't like at all. Currently her 12 year old sister and her 11 year old sister are sharing a room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it a good idea to put the 20 and 12 year old together so my 12 year old daughter can kind of have her own room? Or does my 20 year old daughter need her space, although it's not used all the time? We do have another room, so the three of them could have their own room, but we have lots of guests that the other room should be vacant for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1924" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2011-12-09T06:30:53.747" LastActivityDate="2011-12-09T08:03:35.920" Title="Should my 3 daughters share 2 rooms?" Tags="|bedroom|pre-teen|adult-child|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3569" CreationDate="2011-12-06T07:53:12.840" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have 3 rooms for the children, then &lt;strong&gt;give each their own room, but with one condition&lt;/strong&gt; that when guests sleep over, they must give up one room for the guests. That room should be the 20-year-old's because she's the only one not using it full-time in the first place. She's also the only legally adult person whom you are not obliged to house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not accept complaints.&lt;/strong&gt; This is really a first-world problem. They should feel privileged! In earlier days, and in other countries, entire families live(d) in just one or two rooms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-09T08:03:35.920" LastActivityDate="2011-12-09T08:03:35.920" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3566" CreationDate="2011-12-06T08:42:43.503" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 18 months, she is probably able to understand your intentions. Here's what we did with our toddler at the same age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;On alternate choices:&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We have a house rule that we &lt;strong&gt;eat whatever is on the table.&lt;/strong&gt; We will not go back into the kitchen to cook another meal. Usually, the meal would have at least one component that we know he loves, e.g. his favorite vegetable. If our son wanted something else instead, he was given the choice of the current meal, or nothing. We would of course follow up by giving him suitably healthy and satisfying snacks &lt;em&gt;later,&lt;/em&gt; but the point here is that he cannot change the situation at the table -- the menu is not his choice. He never deliberately turned this against us, knowing that he'd get snacks later anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;On throwing food:&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Never accept &lt;strong&gt;deliberate&lt;/strong&gt; throwing. Immediately scold and/or discipline according to your regular rules. Clean up immediately, to demonstrate that thrown food is not desired.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it was a small &lt;strong&gt;accident&lt;/strong&gt; (dropping a large crumb) then don't scold, but do scold for bigger ones (shoving the whole plate on the floor). If you have hardwood floors, then leave accidentally dropped food until the meal ends unless they distract the child. If you have carpet, clean up as necessary.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not replace thrown or dropped food. If the child is still hungry after the initial serving, serve another helping of the same menu. If there's nothing left, we usually offer a small slice of bread with butter or cheese.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;On tantrums:&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't give in to her tantrums&lt;/strong&gt; (at least not until you're close to losing your mind). Tantrums are a way for small children to relieve stress and unhappiness, and some parents accept this as a legitimate outlet, others don't. The only important thing about tantrums is to not give in -- teach that it is &lt;strong&gt;not an acceptable way&lt;/strong&gt; to get what you want. The only (rare) exception I would make to this rule is to save my personal sanity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T08:42:43.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3572" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3806" CreationDate="2011-12-06T10:05:26.740" Score="4" ViewCount="11806" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 14 month old is sleeping pretty well these days (last night down at 8pm, woke at 7 for a drink, still in bed with mum when I left the house at 8am!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However we do have a problem with him losing his pacifier overnight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a start we only use the pacifier as a cue when we feel that he needs to chill - so it forms part of the night time routine.  Pacifier, cuddle, story, bed, sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Works pretty well.  Often he will not have the pacifier in his mouth when we check on him before we go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trouble is, if he wakes in the middle of the night and the pacifier has gone out of immediate reach, then he will cry and wake us up.  Returning it to him and he will generally fall straight back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We feel that if we could stop using the pacifier then perhaps we would get better sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(He will sleep in the car and being cuddled without one, just registers it as a cue to settle down when not completely exhausted)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1651" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-26T20:42:15.153" LastActivityDate="2018-10-25T19:11:03.590" Title="How can I wean my toddler off the pacifier at night?" Tags="|sleep|pacifier|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3573" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3580" CreationDate="2011-12-06T10:07:08.567" Score="7" ViewCount="268" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I live alone (i.e. no other family members) and our 6-month-old infant is quite attached to both of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we have visitors, or we are over to other persons' houses, he is okay to play with others as long as we are still in visible distance. He cries (really shrieks) when he realizes both his parents are missing. Either one of us has to be in the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my family are saying it's our fault we've over cuddled him. How do we get him out of this habit? I really don't want to go down the route of letting him cry it out - we tried once and it wasn't pleasant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1246" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-14T13:03:21.690" LastActivityDate="2019-04-14T13:03:21.690" Title="How to break our infant of the habit of crying when none of us is in the same room as he is?" Tags="|infant|crying|separation|habits|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3573" CreationDate="2011-12-06T14:42:04.013" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this case I don't think crying it out is the answer (an I am a big proponent of crying it out at bed time).  Children go through stages, and especially at approximately ages 3months, 6months, 9 months, and if they are not in school sometimes longer.  (when dropping off at school crying it out is the answer, the teachers know what to do). But in terms of what you are experiencing now know it is normal and your parents are simply jealous and therefore blaming you because they want to have a connection with your baby as well. You CAN NOT over cuddle an infant!!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T14:42:04.013" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3572" CreationDate="2011-12-06T14:43:43.513" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two ideas,&#xA;Number one let him cry it out in the middle of the night (if you are comfortable with this)&#xA;Number two to get rid of the pacifier all together start cutting of a bit of it at a time to make it shorter and shorter until it is gone. This way your child will get used to not having it in a slow manner. (this worked for us!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T14:43:43.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3573" CreationDate="2011-12-06T15:09:11.413" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, there's no such thing as over-cuddling or too much love. &lt;em&gt;Spoiling&lt;/em&gt; a child can be done in terms of too many toys, or consistently giving in to flimsy wants, but not by &lt;em&gt;being present.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realize that you're dealing with an infant, meaning 3-12 months of age by the definition of this site. At that age, some kids simply are more needy than others, and you've got one of those. At this age, &lt;strong&gt;lack of independence&lt;/strong&gt; is not a problem in itself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short-term solution is to accept the situation for now. &#xA;On a longer term, you can train independence:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One simple way of doing this is to first pick a time when the child is well rested (because tired equals grumpy) and then let him play by himself while you're present. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then tell him you're going into the other room for a moment -- then leave, and return immediately (20 seconds). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise him if he didn't cry, otherwise console (&quot;see, I &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; return!&quot;). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Repeat &lt;em&gt;ad nauseam&lt;/em&gt; with increasing absences, and repeat the whole thing over several weeks or months. He'll learn that it's &lt;em&gt;okay&lt;/em&gt; to be alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This also works well at the end of the bedtime routine: Give him a kiss and a good cuddle, then see step 2 above.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The same approach might work if the problem is not &lt;em&gt;being alone&lt;/em&gt; but rather &lt;em&gt;being without the parents.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, &lt;strong&gt;&quot;crying it out&quot; is often not a good solution,&lt;/strong&gt; but opinions vary on that. It might appear effective to the parent or other caretaker, but for the wrong reasons -- the worst case being that the child is traumatized by the fact that no help comes even when desperate for help. I don't want to go into the good/bad discussion here, but please know that this is a disputed method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-06T16:08:46.453" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T16:08:46.453" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3507" CreationDate="2011-12-06T15:50:27.617" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a gentle turn of the bottle doesn't get our now eight month old to restart sucking, we move on to rubbing his belly.  If that doesn't work, I generally change his diaper.  Simply undressing him and tickling him doesn't seem to work at all for us, but I know that has worked for a number of friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1170" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T15:50:27.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3578" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3585" CreationDate="2011-12-06T16:03:26.347" Score="10" ViewCount="18303" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 8-month-old son's crib is in our bedroom, and he was mostly sleeping the whole night in his crib with no issues. Due to a series of events (power outage, spending the night at relatives with no crib, needing to lower the crib and not getting to it) he went a few days sleeping full time in the bed with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been unsuccessful in getting him to spend the full night in the crib. I put him in the crib once he is in a deep sleep, but within 45 minutes he is up and standing in the crib and crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas on convincing him to spend the full night in the crib. We have thought about letting him cry for a bit and then give up, but we both work and need to get some sleep, and neither of us likes to hear him cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1170" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-30T12:34:09.947" LastActivityDate="2020-01-25T03:31:57.593" Title="How do we get an 8-month-old back to sleeping in his crib?" Tags="|infant|sleep|crying|crib|bed-sharing|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1774" CreationDate="2011-12-06T16:07:56.477" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is prone to constipation as well. We find that choosing at least one food item for the week that addresses constipation works well, and some weeks we choose two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For vegetables, we make either butternut or acorn squash, and for fruit, prunes and pears work well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We stay clear of Rice, Bananas, Apple and Toast, the BRAT diet.  We have had to use glycerine suppositories three times, but in those cases we were not as careful about his diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1170" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T16:07:56.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3573" CreationDate="2011-12-06T17:10:40.870" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your baby's behavior is not unusual, although different kids have very different tolerances.  Our eldest daughter spent the first 3 months of her life in the hospital, and as a result is actually more comfortable with strangers than we are.  Our youngest is the exact opposite.  However, that doesn't mean you can't gradually teach them to overcome their fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't describe your own reaction, which is important because infants learn by example.  One common mistake parents, especially new parents, often make when their child has issues like this is trying to sneak out to avoid a scene, then the instant the baby cries they rush back and snatch him out of the arms of whoever is holding him.  I don't know if that's what you do, but that's usually what people mean by &quot;over-cuddling.&quot;  It teaches your baby that you are also uncomfortable with the situation.  It's also scary to look around and suddenly your parents are gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's better to let him see you leave, and that you are happy and comfortable with leaving him in someone else's care.  Yes, he will still cry, but don't come to his rescue immediately.  Give him around 30 seconds, then come back in and don't snatch him away, but sit where he can see you and show you are comfortable with him being held by someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also helps to teach people the best way to comfort your child.  Sometimes people who don't have children, and even some grandparents who haven't had a baby in a while, try to &quot;make the baby happy&quot; by making silly faces and noises, or otherwise overstimulating him, which can have the opposite of the intended effect.  Make sure they are comforting him the same way you would.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T17:10:40.870" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3546" CreationDate="2011-12-06T18:10:42.303" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my sons (now 12 and 9) are ADHD and both have been taking medication (Concerta) daily for about three years. My older son had behavioural issues since kindergarten, but teachers always told us how bright he was. His marks were fine but he was continually getting in trouble, and was suspended a number of times for violent behaviour. He was as frustrated about this as we were but he felt unable to do anything about it, and he couldn't explain why he had done any of the things he did. Many of his classmates (and some of the teachers) started thinking of him as a troublemaker and he began to get a bit of a negative reputation. Some classmates of his were told by their parents to keep away from him, which was heartbreaking for us and didn't do much for his self-esteem. When the same thing started to happen to my younger son (bright, but continually in trouble for impulsive actions), we took them to a pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started them on Concerta, and they both noticed the difference right away. In the three years since then, neither has been suspended once and they don't get in trouble any more often than any other kid. Both enjoy school and are doing well, and the reputations as troublemakers have since vanished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is obviously anecdotal and your mileage may vary and all that, but we feel that the medication gives them a fighting chance. My oldest frequently got frustrated and spent a lot of energy trying to focus on what he needed to do, and now he can just focus on his schoolwork. His confidence level and self-esteem have also increased. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only real drawback is that we have to remember to pack their medication when we go on vacation or they stay somewhere overnight. Hardly even worth mentioning, given the upside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1024" LastEditorUserId="1024" LastEditDate="2011-12-06T19:00:44.497" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T19:00:44.497" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3546" CreationDate="2011-12-06T18:38:28.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maria Montessori as you know was the first woman physician in Italy.  In what became her life-work, she accepted children who had been cast off by the public education system at the time and worked what were considered &quot;miracles&quot; when, in reality, all she did was listen, follow, prepare an environment, and mentor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of note was her continual examination and refinement of methods.  Here was true Science, one that did not rest upon a proclamation that the &quot;answer&quot; has been found.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contrast to the culture (I can speak of the US) today, where (particularly) medication is seen as not only a solution but a necessary one for issues that you raise.  Medicine generally rests its case, as does the one-size-fits-all system of education.  If you don't fit (most don't) then you're a failure.  If you don't take the pill, you will not succeed.  It seems pathetic that we must be in some form medicated to function in this society, and I do not restrict the term to pills in a bottle.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In many ways that last remark is, I think, strikingly telling, for America is a world leader in the intake of antidepressants (alone) and an emerging environmental phenomenon is one concerned with water supply pollution by these excreted drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be useful to consider some of the issues Thom Hartmann (author and radio host) has posited regarding AD(H)D.  A striking point he makes is that the emergence of this phenomena has been gradually oncoming since the transition from an agrarian to an industrial (and now) and then to a technological society (and we might also consider the environmental and emotional pollution thereof).  In each step of this transition we see the cubicles becoming smaller, the flourescent lighting brighter, and the lines which we are told indicate &quot;good&quot; and &quot;bad&quot; behaviour becoming more firm and unwavering.  Yet, none of us are wired quite the same and, given the pace of transition, our biological evolution has not quite adapted.  Hence the fallout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the question on medicating may come down to one of deciding who is really in need of it.  My view is that our media-saturated and highly controlled culture is the sick child in the room and the most wonderfully curative and most merciful act of healing that could be brought to bear would be to render every TV set as non-functional.  That would be a good start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here's an idea.  Try, in your own home, to reduce/eliminate the barrage of media, and then watch what happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I suggest some physical activity that will help discharge some of the energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, find more open and expansive spaces in which to be.  You may see a remarkable shift, to a more &quot;grounded&quot; state, in a different environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All human beings wish to be successful.  Coming up against your personal limitations repeatedly can cause one to give up.  Mindfulness of the developmental stages and sensitive periods in your own child might also help as you consider a detour around the obstacles until the time (if ever) is right to face them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just my few thoughts...&#xA;/m&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1926" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T18:38:28.420" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3578" CreationDate="2011-12-06T19:19:34.310" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know you said you tried it but letting him cry it out, especially at this age would be the way to go.  It may take longer then you like as he can stand up to cry, but in the end it is worth it.  We used to turn off the monitor and move to a part of the house we could not hear very well and just check every 10 min. to see if he was still crying and if he was turn off the monitor again and give it another 10 min.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T19:19:34.310" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3584" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3594" CreationDate="2011-12-06T20:16:40.263" Score="27" ViewCount="54208" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have several questions on this site that deal with infants and toddlers who cry a lot, for various reasons.  Here is an &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2795/is-it-okay-to-let-a-baby-cry-at-bedtime&quot;&gt;example question&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3583/109&quot;&gt;example answer&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2801/109&quot;&gt;another answer&lt;/a&gt;. The topic was raised &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/6665/is-allowing-an-infant-to-cry-harmful-to-its-development&quot;&gt;on the Skeptics site&lt;/a&gt; but no answer was provided. Perhaps we can find a good answer on our site here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two basic approaches:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leave the child completely alone until the crying stops. &lt;strong&gt;&amp;lt;-- This is what I want to address.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leave the child for only a short moment and then return. Repeat with increasing absences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it likely to harm an infant/a toddler to let him intensively cry until he stops on his own?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To elaborate, I have some additional questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At what lower age/development limit would the practice be acceptable, and why?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What factors could help determine whether the practice would work on a specific child?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the purpose of this topic, let me define &quot;crying&quot; as real, full-strength, all-out,  non-verbal &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;mommy-daddy-come-help-me&lt;/em&gt; crying&lt;/strong&gt;, not just whining or whimpering. Every parent knows his child and will recognize when the child &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; cries -- that is what I mean here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, let me define &quot;harmful&quot; as not just transitory sadness but rather something where one could expect &lt;strong&gt;negative mid-to-long-term effects&lt;/strong&gt; such as trauma, separation anxiety, lack/loss of trust in parents and others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The crying could be related to bedtime/sleep but also during daytime when the parents aren't near.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T17:42:34.480" Title="Is the &quot;cry it out&quot; approach harmful?" Tags="|toddler|infant|crying|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3578" CreationDate="2011-12-06T20:18:13.360" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The potential problem with putting him in the crib after he falls asleep is that he will wake up in a different place.  I suspect that this is disorienting, and possibly causes him to become upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would stick with putting him in the crib awake, and perhaps consider trying a variation of the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/411/420&quot;&gt;Ferber method&lt;/a&gt;, similar to what @morah suggested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility, which has worked for me, is to place a chair or stool by your son's crib, and sit there in the dark room with him after putting him to bed.  Stay there until he falls asleep (assuming you are not trying the Ferber method), and then leave.  This may or may not work, and could result in him waking up and responding the same as when you place him in the crib while sleeping, but it is worth a shot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T20:18:13.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3572" CreationDate="2011-12-06T20:41:36.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three boys, with my youngest still using a pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked for me was cutting a triangle-shaped notch out of the end of the pacifier and then giving it to my toddler son.  If done correctly, the notched pacifier will look like a forked tongue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son would immediately spit out the damaged pacifier with a confused look on his face.  I'd say, &quot;Uh-oh! It looks like it's broken!  You'd better go throw it away!&quot;  I even had him place it in the trash himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first night without it was pretty rough -- some crying throughout the night -- but other than that it was no problem at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: In the mean time a solution to the &quot;lost pacifier&quot; is to dump 4 or 5 pacifiers in your baby's crib at night.  He's bound to find one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1492" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T20:41:36.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3546" CreationDate="2011-12-06T22:00:09.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;How do you decide whether or not to medicate your child?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your gut. Honestly, I think that's the best that any parent can do right now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child can't see the blackboard, you don't question getting them glasses, but when it comes to mental health, it's a much fuzzier, grayer world of diagnosis and treatment options and it's a challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have ADD and wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 20s. I was good in school, but it was a struggle in terms of things like staying focused and especially getting through homework. So, in hindsight, I wish my parents might have tried some forms of medication. Granted, this was several decades ago so was an even more fuzzier world of options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son has it. We held off for a while, but eventually for him to get through a day of school and homework, we realized medication had to be at least part of the solution. It took us a while to find the right type of medication and the proper dosage, but we seem to be OK now--though readily admit it's going to likely be a lifelong balance going forward. I am also on medication to help as well and have had to go through many different options before finding one that agreed with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are certainly different severities of ADD/ADHD and related imbalances, but for us, it's not to the point of causing disruptive behavior. As such, I think we could get by sans medications if the environment was different. I think Montesorri is a good option for handling the issues by changing the environment, rather than attempting to change the child to fit the environment. But it all depends on so many variables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been studies that those with ADD tend to trend towards careers in the arts and crafts and engineering worlds...creative, hands-on type work more so than purely mentally focused professions (like accounting) so that can aid in future steering of environments as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best and hope that year-by-year we begin to understand the whole range of mental imbalances and get better at diagnosing and treating them through all available methods and options. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T22:00:09.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3528" CreationDate="2011-12-06T22:30:46.060" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As parents, we provide all sorts of guidance and rules about how our kids' time is best spent, and whether those activities reflect our values and tastes, without needing empirical studies showing that one choice is &quot;better&quot; than the other.  I think focusing on that may be missing the point of such rules entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some gaming is fine, there's nothing wrong with fun, but video games and TV are the &quot;empty calories&quot; of kid activities.  I don't want my son to whittle away countless hours doing any one thing when there is so much of the world to explore and things to learn about.  Video games are a huge time sink.  So can lots of other things be -- I wouldn't want him spending every waking hour reading, or watching TV, or playing football, studying, or running.  But among wastes of time, I think the very worst would be ones that are sedentary, lack face-to-face socialization, and simultaneously do not impart any particular valuable knowledge or skills that will help him in the world outside that particular activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Analogy: There are no empirical studies that show that eating a wide variety of ethnic food is better than a simple bland diet that is nutritious.  But I think my life is more enjoyable for having a wide palette, I observe that other adults who enjoy new and exotic things tend to lead what seems to be to be fuller, more interesting, more enjoyable lives (totally subjectively, I'm not sure any study can reflect this), so I'm thrilled beyond belief that my son does not have a limited range of tastes stereotypical of kid and I would work hard to keep him from working himself into a habit of eating only one thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know there will be people (like the original poster) who say &quot;I spent all my free time playing games, and I turned out fine.&quot;  I'm sure you did.  But you'll never know how you would've turned out if more time had been spent exploring other activities and interests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T22:30:46.060" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-12-06T22:35:55.223" Score="1" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make &quot;dessert&quot; a sometimes thing, not an every day thing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make &quot;dessert&quot; something that has some nutritional merit, so if they skimp on dinner you won't feel guilty.  Fruit and yogurt?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T22:35:55.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2185" CreationDate="2011-12-06T22:38:41.973" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, kids have the ability to assimilate the new words into their speech, but do not have the experience or ability to discern &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; it's appropriate to use the words.  It's just no fun at all (and often highly counter-productive to some practical task at hand) to have a kid in tow and them them say something totally inappropriate (and offensively so) when around other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2011-12-06T22:38:41.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2185" CreationDate="2011-12-07T00:52:27.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question is rhetorical because it answered itself by using the word &quot;profanity&quot;. The definition of profanity in Wikipedia is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Profanity is a show of disrespect, or a desecration or debasement of someone or something. Profanity can take the form of words, expressions, gestures, or other social behaviors that are socially constructed or interpreted as insulting, rude, vulgar, obscene, desecrating, or other forms.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on this definition, profanity is not acceptable in front of anyone irrespective of age. Certainly, we do not want to teach profanity to our children hoping to improve future social civility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-07T00:52:27.890" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3592" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3593" CreationDate="2011-12-07T08:59:35.733" Score="6" ViewCount="796" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 5 years old. She often &quot;plays&quot; rudely with me. For example, she'll kick me, and I cannot explain clearly to her that the behavior is impolite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I kick her (and as a result, she becomes angry or cries), and I have told her that when she kicks me it hurts me (in fact, my daughter understands what I mean, as sometimes she may say &quot;sorry&quot; to me).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, I ignore her behavior and do something else by myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I respond when she behaves like this? How can I best educate my daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1755" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-06-04T12:13:40.590" LastActivityDate="2019-06-04T12:13:40.590" Title="How should I respond to my 5-year-old daughter kicking me?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|communication|violence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3592" CreationDate="2011-12-07T09:32:33.170" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, you should never &quot;fight back&quot; by kicking back if you are not comfortable with her behaviour. Play-fighting is fine if you have a level of control and it's all in fun, but that doesn't seem to be the case here, if she's crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, the best thing you can do is to say &quot;ow!&quot; and let her know that she hurt you, tell her that that's not correct/acceptable behaviour, and if she continues, to give her a time-out. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/Make-the-Naughty-Step-Work-for-You.aspx&quot;&gt;The super-nanny guidelines here are quite good&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting angry won't help, and if she's looking for attention, ignoring her will just encourage worse behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, one thing your question shows is that you have trouble being &lt;em&gt;consistent&lt;/em&gt;. It's key that &lt;strong&gt;every time your daughter misbehaves&lt;/strong&gt; you punish her the same way, and don't give up because it's hard to listen to the tantrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-12-07T09:32:33.170" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3584" CreationDate="2011-12-07T15:00:25.897" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Preface:&lt;/strong&gt; If you are reading this page because you are trying to decide how to handle &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; child's sleeping, please go and read the link that Doug T provided in a comment on the question (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html&lt;/a&gt;), there is a lot of good advice and plenty of creative ideas on how to handle your children's (non)sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;At the risk of getting shot down for being subjective (I can't see anyone doing clinical trials on this topic...), I'll have a go:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say that mid-to-long-term effects are &lt;em&gt;plausible&lt;/em&gt; if you consider that a person's psychological make-up is a continuum built from acquired experience. The child - and all their experiences - don't just cease to exist when they become an adult, even if they can't remember all those experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea that kids are robust little critters who can bounce back from anything has been around for a long time, and it's definitely got history on its side. But then, not so long ago, babies were operated on without anaesthetic because they weren't considered 'conscious' enough to feel pain. (Like fish, or something! &lt;em&gt;I can't find a source that I like for this, but there are a lot of references out there&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, it's easier for us as parents to believe that our kids are going to turn out ok no matter how much we screw up, but that doesn't make it true. And going to the other extreme is no good either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think kids &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; bounce back from isolated negative experiences - just like they can bounce back from a bad night, or a childhood illness. But the problem is with repeated negative experiences, which are far more likely to drill their own negative paths into the child's neurons...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what I &lt;em&gt;suspect might&lt;/em&gt; happen in the case you outlined:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does it teach you when your &lt;strong&gt;mommy-daddy-come-help-me&lt;/strong&gt; screams result in nothing happening? Well it &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; teach you that you are alone in life, and that the universe is a cold, dark, dangerous place*. I wouldn't expect that child to grow up into someone with a sunny and optimistic outlook.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*Obviously, you may actually believe that this is true, so the child has learnt a valuable lesson: did you by any chance cry yourself to sleep when you were a baby? :)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt; Found the book I was thinking of: &quot;Why love matters, how affection shapes a baby's brain&quot; by Sue Gerhardt. Note that it's too long since I read the book to assert that what she says supports what I wrote above. But it's definitely an interesting trip into the frontier between experience, emotion and brain chemistry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorUserId="691" LastEditDate="2011-12-08T05:57:46.893" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T05:57:46.893" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3584" CreationDate="2011-12-07T18:46:21.533" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know parents on both extremes of the spectrum, and if there are any long-term effects on their children, I honestly can't detect them.  I think if one way was clearly better the topic wouldn't be so hotly debated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, the harm is more short term due to the boy-who-cried-wolf effect.  When you become accustomed to ignoring their cries, you don't know when they really need help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I also think it's important to take the parents' mental health into account.  Especially first-time parents have difficulty with the thought that their baby is uncomfortable, and usually only adopt the cry it out approach after they've exhausted everything else and are driving themselves crazy trying to function on 2 hours of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, my advice is to keep your baby from crying too long if you can help it, but don't condemn yourself as a horrible parent if every once in a while you need to let them cry it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-07T18:46:21.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3584" CreationDate="2011-12-07T21:14:00.013" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there's too many factors at play to determine the proper age to use cry it out. And since babies can't talk, I don't know if there are any factors that would say &quot;this will definitely work&quot; or definitely not work.  As with any practice with children, you just have to try it and see. Does it work for the baby? Does it work for YOU?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now 4, and we used the cry it out method. Turns out as an infant, she just needed more food throughout the night. Once we provided that, she cried at night less often. At around 2, she started in again, possibly due to night terrors (babycenter.com has some great articles on this), and we let her work it out herself to learn &quot;self-soothing&quot;.  This was not every night, just once in a while. Eventually the crying stopped altogether, at around 3 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also agree that infants rarely cry for no reason.  My answer would be &quot;If it cries, feed it!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my son, who is 2, has started waking up at midnight and 4am, and sometimes at 5 or 6am.  Probably night terrors again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, sometimes I let him cry it out to have him learn self-soothing, but sometimes I bring him into my bed to sleep (this also helps his sister, who shares a room with him).  This makes me feel better, even though I could pay for it later (some kids really like sleeping with parents). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, many factors play into the decision, which is re-decided each night. Do I let him cry each night to maintain consistency in how I handle it? Or is this crying time different from the rest so I should handle it differently? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So is it harmful to let them cry it out?  Both my kids appear very happy and healthy. I think it's impossible to trace back the exact cause of any issues kids have when they get older. I wouldn't sweat it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also think that probably at around 3 the night terrors should be over, and the child is then crying for &quot;legitimate&quot; reasons, and should be checked on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also check Baby Center to see what other parents have had to say. They have years' worth of data and postings about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1932" LastActivityDate="2011-12-07T21:14:00.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3592" CreationDate="2011-12-07T21:46:50.710" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with &quot;deworde&quot; response. However, I like to add another prospective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every human behavior has a root cause. Trying to control the symptoms is not enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kicking is a quick and easy expression of inner negative feeling. The person may be conscious or unconscious of the reason for the feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children realize the fact that they are dependent on others (parents). A dependent person is always looking for fairness/justice. With justice they can be confident that their needs  (that they cannot obtain by themselves) will be met.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Accordingly, before deciding that it is only a behavioral issue, we must ensure that our actions reflect justice. We owe it to them to continuously assure them that they can rely on us. We can achieve this by communicating our love and dedication to our children at all times. They are weak and vulnerable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I have said does not mean we do not correct ill behaviors. However, we must not create the triggers for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-07T21:46:50.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3569" CreationDate="2011-12-08T00:15:55.783" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I only have brothers, so my situation was slightly different, yet the solution might be a good one. While I was away at school, the bedroom was given to one of my brothers who had never had his own room with the understanding that he would return to his previous room with our other brother any time I was home. The room was his and we had to negotiate him getting his belongings as needed, but it actually worked out quite well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would think one of the difficulties of a 20 year old and a 12 year old sharing a room would be bed times and the such, particularly if the elder has studying to complete over these breaks. I think much of it would have to do with the personalities of the girls. I would also consider which 2 would be the best pairing if you are going to have them share while the eldest is home - would they be better suited for the 20 year old and 11 year old to share? Personalities would be a large consideration. Further, think about how important it is to you that the eldest feel that this is still her home, if that is not a priority, no problem, but consider that too when making a decision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T00:15:55.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3599" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3670" CreationDate="2011-12-08T00:33:32.830" Score="23" ViewCount="18747" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to clean out bath toys that store water?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, we have quite a few toys that have a hole in the bottom and can suck in water and squirt it out when squeezed. A few of those toys are next to impossible to empty of water completely and hence have started growing some mildew.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;We're considering squirting vinegar (or possibly a diluted vinegar solution) into the toys and leaving them to stew for a while, but is there a Good Way of doing this? Naturally, any solution ought to be child-safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1935" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T05:57:03.787" Title="Cleaning bathtub toys that squirt water" Tags="|toys|cleaning|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3600" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-08T06:20:36.747" Score="6" ViewCount="653" Body="&lt;p&gt;My friend's son loves dinosaurs.  He'll show me a toy or a picture of one, and say &quot;dinosaur-ous!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child is rapidly approaching speech, and I was wondering if it is better to point out errors like that? (&quot;No, it's dinoSAUR.&quot;) Or should you simply agree with the child, but pronounce it correctly for them? (&quot;Yes, I see the dinosaur!&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T04:32:14.490" Title="What's the best way to fix a toddler's mispronunciations?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3600" CreationDate="2011-12-08T07:45:50.837" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Yes, I see the dinosaur!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I've heard and read (I have no source at hand, that I could cite), it is good to repeat the words pronounced clearly and correctly&lt;br&gt;&#xA; and IMHO it is better for the child if you encourage it with &quot;Yes....&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son (now 4 years old) is relatively far with speaking. &#xA;He does not like it at all, when he is corrected and then sometimes repeats the wrong pronunciation in defiance of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2011-12-08T15:07:36.290" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T15:07:36.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3602" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3607" CreationDate="2011-12-08T13:44:44.867" Score="4" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has had a couple of consecutive, partial feedings (he is preemie: 5 months old, 1 month adjusted).  At the hospital, one partial feeding wasn't a cause for alarm and they simply attempt to feed for a certain amount of time, but then stop because he would be burning more calories than he was taking in.  I don't remember what that amount of time is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a guideline or formula for the amount of time you attempt to feed?  I know it's between 30-60 minutes but I don't know if it's tied to the calories in the formula (my son gets +4 calories for every 20 calories).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="460" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T15:34:17.700" Title="How long should a feeding be attempted?" Tags="|newborn|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3603" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3643" CreationDate="2011-12-08T13:52:38.087" Score="10" ViewCount="14260" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I stop my 4 year old son from grinding his teeth while he is sleeping?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1858" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-12T07:54:02.220" LastActivityDate="2016-03-26T02:35:38.663" Title="How do I stop my child from grinding his teeth while sleeping?" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|teeth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3603" CreationDate="2011-12-08T13:58:15.033" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;They probably make a mouth guard for children - I'd ask your dentist.  I assume like adults there is no way to prevent the grinding - only ways to prevent tooth damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1937" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T13:58:15.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3600" CreationDate="2011-12-08T14:34:35.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At toddler age - all you can do is repeat with the correct pronunciation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 4 or 5, you can be a bit firmer and say, &quot;Not quite right, it's 'dinosaur'&quot; and the message can get through, although, as @BBM said, when they feel awkward that can just make them deliberately say it wrongly :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T14:34:35.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3600" CreationDate="2011-12-08T15:44:45.237" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I correct Matthias' English when he mispronounces words.  It's normally a gentle, &quot;You almost had it right, try again - and then enunciate the word (or a part of the word, then the other part) and get him to repeat it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes he uses an English word, sometimes a Danish - and then there's the &quot;Danglish&quot; words - those are the most fun to correct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T15:44:45.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3602" CreationDate="2011-12-08T16:27:19.907" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hospitals have schedules to keep and nurses who must divide their attention among several babies.  For our preemie we never heard about any time restriction due to calories burned.  It was more try for 30 minutes and then they were sorry, but they had to attend to other patients.  However, they would let &lt;em&gt;us&lt;/em&gt; try for as long as we wanted.  The only real issue was taking so long that we started to impinge on the next feeding or nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home you don't need to be nearly as regimented.  The important thing is getting the right calories per day.  If there are times of day your baby could eat twice as much and other times he doesn't seem hungry at all, you will both be a lot happier if you adjust to meet his internal schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T16:27:19.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3543" CreationDate="2011-12-08T16:56:55.553" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can think about two reasons:&#xA;1) If you forbid something without explaining WHY you did it - it is natural that the kid wants to know the reason and the only way for him to know it is to do forbidden thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) A person who is forbidden from something feels humiliated. Humiliated state (mood) of mind is discomforting. To stop being discomforted one has to violate the prohibition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I think that the second reason is more plausible, because it works on lower level of consciousness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1938" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T16:56:55.553" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3543" CreationDate="2011-12-08T17:40:46.757" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thats a great question. I heard that when you'r saying something not to do like &quot;don't go down the stapes&quot; the mind misses the word 'don't' and it takes GO DOWN..... So the best way of dealing with people is to say what to do like &quot;stay here, put down the knife&quot; instead of saying DON'T go down, DON'T touch the knife. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1940" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T17:40:46.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3543" CreationDate="2011-12-08T18:08:15.950" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;BBM's answer is excellent, but I just thought I would add a bit about independence. As children grow up, begin developing independence, and start becoming responsible for their actions, they may come up with their own unique way of learning what &quot;the rules&quot; are that go along with independence and responsibility. Without rules, everyone's independence would infringe on everyone else's independence and there would be chaos. Children don't intuitively understand the need for rules at first, they just hear you tell them something they shouldn't do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps this response--deliberately engaging in explicitly forbidden behavior--is simply one way they are testing the waters. &lt;em&gt;Why shouldn't I hold the knife? What will happen if I hold the knife?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;We&lt;/strong&gt; know the answers to these questions, and we hope that we can spare our children the pain of learning these answers for themselves by experience. Realize that this type of disobedience does not necessarily indicate any failure on your part as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are extremely sensitive to inconsistency and hypocrisy, so trust may be your biggest ally in this struggle (and remember that trust takes time to develop). For example, if you tell them not to hold a knife and then they see you holding the knife later, think of how the child will perceive that. We understand that this is not inconsistent and hypocritical, but they might not. As others have suggested, we need to be careful about the words we use when telling our kids what not to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is just to be as consistent as possible with the things you tell them not to do and with enforcing consequences for disobedience. It takes time for children to learn &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they shouldn't do certain things, and we may wish they would just recognize and trust our experience in the mean time, but we must be patient with them as they learn. Being consistent (both in terms of &quot;words in line with actions&quot; and &quot;consistent in every case&quot;) is one of the best things your can do to help this learning process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastEditorUserId="14" LastEditDate="2011-12-08T18:46:06.920" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T18:46:06.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3528" CreationDate="2011-12-08T18:24:19.293" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some things I remember seeing recently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://news.byu.edu/archive09-Jan-videogames.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; links the amount of time spent playing video games to decreased quality of relationships with friends and family&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are studies that link violence in video games to aggressive behavior, but I can't remember where I saw this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;On the other hand, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.news.iastate.edu/news/2011/may/VGeffects&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt; says that we can't just regard video games as black and white--good or bad. There are both positive and negative effects.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In support of the last point, &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.byu.edu/archive11-mar-videogameexercise.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt; demonstrates that some active video games are good for exercise, while &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.byu.edu/archive11-jan-girlvideogames.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt; says that young girls can benefit substantially from playing video games when parents participate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't actually read any of this research in depth, so I can't make any comment as to the quality of the research or my agreement/disagreement with the results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T18:24:19.293" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2011-12-08T19:56:05.760" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;My rules or get out&quot; is not a good way to teach children to compromise (and we hear that rhetoric so often when being critical of how a country is run, where this is learned I see clearly now..) or negotiate with other adults. You risk casting your children to the wolves, and I've seen friends devoured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, you should be able to calmly sit down and explain to your parents how you're contributing (if you aren't, start) as an adult in the household - maybe paying $20-50 a month rent just to start. It may be an inconsequential amount, but it at least starts you on the path to full responsibility for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If &quot;at home&quot; is always paired with &quot;my house, my rules&quot;, it is no surprise that &quot;not at home&quot; (moving out due to anger, or going away to school) leads to excessive partying and poor decision making.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pearsonartphoto made this point already about gradually getting more freedom, but I am suggesting you earn it (and do the work &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt;, don't request that you have it up front), but sending your 18 year old to bed at 1900 is ridiculous and will never accomplish anything long-term or meaningful, because it operates on the presence of constraint, not on the inevitability of consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get a part time job, offer to pay for the house internet and see if your parents will dollar-match you for your own laptop. If they refuse this, then bide your time. You'll be free soon enough. You can't do a whole lot if your parents are unreasonable or don't see the basics entry points for accountability and responsibility - but the flip side is that you likely will miss living at home due to all sorts of unappreciated things if you just up and move out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1895" LastEditorUserId="1895" LastEditDate="2011-12-08T22:32:15.380" LastActivityDate="2011-12-08T22:32:15.380" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3614" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3617" CreationDate="2011-12-09T03:15:19.597" Score="13" ViewCount="4451" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13-year-old son still wets the bed. Over the years we have tried alarms, medication, waking him up at various times, controlling his drinking, charts (behaviour modification). He hates it and wants to stop.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can sometimes stop for a couple of nights - he has been on school camps and managed two - but always starts up again. (And I suspect then he doesn't sleep properly to stop himself going into a deep sleep.) He does his own laundry. He has been checked to see if there is anything physically causing the problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1897" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-03T20:23:14.963" LastActivityDate="2023-04-11T15:20:32.553" Title="How to deal with a bedwetting 13-year-old?" Tags="|teen|enuresis|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2416" CreationDate="2011-12-09T08:24:41.433" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry to not accept either of the two given answers, but they don't really match what turned out to work for us. What &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; work was &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/178/109&quot;&gt;HedgeMage's answer to &quot;When should I transition a 2 year old toddler from the cot to a bed?&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did not gate the room, we did not fill the bed with toys. We kept putting him back to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-12-09T08:24:41.433" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2011-12-09T20:39:50.337" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3616" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3618" CreationDate="2011-12-09T13:50:29.087" Score="7" ViewCount="272" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 4 children, two of them 14 months apart (ages 3 and 4).  The 3 year old can recognize all his letters and numbers and can do initial sounds.  The 4 year old can as well (not quite as surprising, but still ahead). I fear that soon the 3 year old will bypass the 4 year old in academic skill.  We are trying to stress good behaviour over academics, but the 4 year old is bound to realize that her younger brother is doing the same reading (and possibly more reading) than she is.  &lt;strong&gt;Suggestions on how to deal with this upcoming problem would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/strong&gt;  I am aware that it is important to stress what each child is good at, and that each child is special and I do this, but lets face it the importance of academic achievement is hard to get away from when children are in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T11:26:52.977" Title="Siblings learning differences" Tags="|education|siblings|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3614" CreationDate="2011-12-09T14:59:04.683" Score="14" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He has been checked to see if there is anything physically causing the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By whom?  It sounds like it's past time to see a specialist about this, or a different one if you've already seen one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our daughter (7 right now), we have to use a multi-pronged approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Controlling liquid intake&lt;/strong&gt;: No more than a sip or two of water after dinner.  Even liquid intake during dinner time is checked.  No caffeine, at all.  No colas/sodas.  Low sugar drinks, and no more than 1 at a time.  When I make Kool-Aid at home, I use the unsweetened packets and use 1/2 cup of sugar instead of 1 cup for a half-gallon of Kool-Aid.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Controlling sodium intake&lt;/strong&gt;: Too much sodium in the diet will also contribute to increased urine production.  As a general rule we don't add salt (or very little) to food prepared at home, which helps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use the bathroom right before bedtime&lt;/strong&gt;: It's rather obvious, but we make her try to go, even if she thinks she doesn't need to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Wake her up to use the bathroom&lt;/strong&gt;: I wake her up about 2 hours after bedtime to go to the bathroom.  Even if she doesn't go, your enforcing a consistent routine will help his body create one of its own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strike&gt;The most important thing&lt;/strike&gt; is to keep doing these things, even when it doesn't always seem to be helping.  I still have nights where the bed is wet before 10 p.m., I even have nights where the bed is wet more than once, but this combination of things has helped us get to a place where we have more dry nights than wet ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No wait, the &lt;em&gt;most important thing&lt;/em&gt; is to not get upset, disappointed, or frustrated with him.  I'm sure that he hates this (and possibly, by extension, himself) at least as much or more than you do.  I also know that this is easier said than done -- I'm sure I'm not the most pleasant person in the world when I'm being shaken awake at 3 a.m. to help change sheets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to look into is if there's any other sources of stress in your son's life.  There's a possibility that there's something else going on in his life that's really bothering him and bed wetting is an expression of that strong emotion.  However, getting that information may be easier said than done with a 13 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="984" LastEditDate="2011-12-13T02:46:35.370" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T02:46:35.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3616" CreationDate="2011-12-09T15:38:41.250" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was better in school and music than my younger siblings, but my brother always skunked me in athletics and strategy games, one sister is a much better artist, and my other sister was always able to make friends more easily.  Does it hurt to have a younger sibling be better at something than you are?  Sure, a little.  However, there's not much a parent can do about that other that what you already mentioned about stressing what each child is good at, setting expectations for each individual, and expecting each individual to live up to his or her own potential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't shield your children from the hurt of unequal talents, but you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; teach them constructive ways to deal with it.  The competition can drive you either to completely give up, or to improve as much as you can.  I'm still not as good as my younger siblings at athletics, strategy games, art, and people skills, but I truly believe I'm better at those things than I would have been without their influence.  The embarrassment of a younger sibling being better than me made me want to practice those skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would worry more about the other side of the equation.  As a consequence of my 7 year-old's cerebral palsy, my 4 year-old is ahead of her in most ways.  Instead of the older child being jealous, what we see more often is the younger child feeling he should have the same lower standards.  For example, he has faked her spasticity to avoid having to clean up the toys.  He doesn't understand why he doesn't get the same amount of praise for things that are very difficult for his older sister but very easy for him.  We frequently have to explain why we have higher expectations for him, as children are hyper-aware of &quot;fairness&quot; but are unable to comprehend all the variables that go into it.  The difference between your children won't be as drastic, but the same dynamic applies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-09T15:38:41.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3619" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-09T16:18:10.437" Score="4" ViewCount="183" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3 year old has done a few things that were risky, e.g. she stood up on a chair with wheels to reach something. I explained that it is very dangerous and that she could fall. Her response - as has been with a few cases like this now - was &quot;No, I don't fall.&quot; and my efforts to try to explain that she &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; fall don't seem to be working. Am I expecting too much at this age when I phrase things in the context of risk/chance/odds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1895" LastActivityDate="2011-12-10T22:04:39.833" Title="At what age is it reasonable to expect a child to understand risk/chance?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3616" CreationDate="2011-12-09T17:04:37.740" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Begin pointing out your strengths and weaknesses and compare them to your spouse or other adults in your child's life. Find things your older child does well and compare them to your weaknesses. Create an atmosphere in the home that it is normal for everyone to have different abilities at different things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on rewarding effort not outcomes. When a gifted child does well without trying hard don't praise and reward their lazy achievements. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a long time your older child will be physically and emotionally more developed than your younger child. Explain how she can be gracious about being older, stronger, taller, etc. Keep it concrete. And anticipate that she will use her elder status to influence, punish, and control her younger sibling (as in all sibling rivalries). Set a strong tone that criticizing others talents is foolish and wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be honest about differences and play to each child's strengths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="807" LastEditDate="2011-12-09T17:42:36.197" LastActivityDate="2011-12-09T17:42:36.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3619" CreationDate="2011-12-09T17:39:48.307" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;On an instinctual level very young children understand risk. What I've noticed in my son (under 2): fear of being burnt, fear of falling from a height, fear of being underwater, fear of scurrying insects, fear of unknown animals/people, and some small fear of the dark. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you are correct in thinking that young children don't know risk/chance/odds. Some adults know little of it as well. Maybe a reminder that certain behaviors might might result in getting hurt. Some phrases we use: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When climbing or playing with a toy that is climbing, &quot;Oh no, don't fall. Ouch.&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When play fighting or roughhousing, &quot;Don't hurt. Ouch.&quot; &quot;Don't hit. Not nice.&quot; (this one needs &quot;nice&quot; to be used frequently as praise on other contexts.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Near oven, grill, space heater, &quot;Hot! ouch! Don't touch!&quot; (this one includes acting out (nearly) touching and pulling our hand away)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;General warning, &quot;Be careful. Don't get hurt. Ouch.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are trying to associate behavior with pain and to teach language. Ouch and hot are so concrete that they communicate a lot. Fall, hurt, nice, and careful are harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also a thrill and joyfulness associated with being on the edge of fear. A sence of accomplishment when we overcome our fears. Finding our limits may require some amount of injury. We want our children to avoid all of the cuts, scrapes, and breaks possible but how are they going to learn to take risks if we always intervene. The article below talks a bit on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/muwNi&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Can a playground be too safe?&lt;/a&gt; via New York Times&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-12-09T17:39:48.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3622" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-10T15:08:15.467" Score="-4" ViewCount="428" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1902/are-there-any-reputable-studies-on-spanking&quot;&gt;Are there any reputable studies on spanking?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any serious research on whether kids who are punished through pain-infliction by parents learn how to properly act in a society better or worse than other kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do they become better or more successful in school and later life, or the opposite?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, is violent punishment more effective than other methods? Which are the most effective methods?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1947" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-20T12:09:44.580" LastActivityDate="2019-09-20T12:09:44.580" Title="Are there studies on the effects of corporal punishment?" Tags="|social-development|research|corporal-punishment|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2011-12-10T18:19:59.180" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3622" CreationDate="2011-12-10T16:42:26.233" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The best punishments are those which show the child why they should not have done what they did.&lt;/strong&gt; Therefore I would suggest that beating is actually less effective, than simply telling off your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, there is much evidence that children that are beaten are much more likely to beat their wives and children in the future, starting a vicious circle of domestic violence. Teaching your children that violence is the method of getting your own way is also likely to cause problems for them at school where they will get sent out of class for starting fights, and in the workplace, where they will be fired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the law is concerned, that will vary between states. But generally anything that leaves a mark or causes permanent damage will be illegal. Smacking a child's bottom is probably acceptable, but I would not go further than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;h1&gt;Please do not hurt your children&lt;/h1&gt; They are only young, and it won't help anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1552" LastActivityDate="2011-12-10T16:42:26.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3624" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3627" CreationDate="2011-12-10T17:54:51.207" Score="4" ViewCount="211" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2.5-year-old daughter started her nursery in October. However, the problem with her is that she would have a cold for half of the winter months (so 6+ weeks), and the nursery obviously doesn't allow ill children. We can't take 6 weeks off work just to stay at home with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do people do in these cases?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-01T13:05:38.183" LastActivityDate="2019-03-01T15:31:11.490" Title="What to do when daycare doesn't allow ill children during winter?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|working-parents|sickness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3625" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-10T18:39:23.677" Score="4" ViewCount="77968" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been given a bottle of Woodward's gripe water? Is it safe? I see a long list of ingredients, such as &lt;code&gt;Sarjkakshara&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;Bronopol&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;Methlyparaben&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionaly, is it useful?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1129" LastActivityDate="2013-07-18T05:03:01.080" Title="Is Woodward's Gripe water safe?" Tags="|infant|nutrition|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3626" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3619" CreationDate="2011-12-10T22:04:39.833" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a range of dangers that seem to require a child to experience before they consciously understand risk. For example - fire. Children usually love to look at fire, and it warms them so they don't inherently fear it, which is a big worry for parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solution was to tell them it was sore, and then to let them reach towards the fire (while loosely holding their hand, long enough that they could feel it was sore, and then pull their hand back quickly, while stressing &quot;OUCH!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each of them only needed that once - and never tried to go too near a fire again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-10T22:04:39.833" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3624" CreationDate="2011-12-10T23:13:35.313" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most nurseries don't kick kids out for a cold or cough as long as the child does not have a fever, however if your nursery is you can take your daughter to the doctor and get a note saying she is okay to go to school.  Most doctors will write a note for a child with a cold, as colds don't go away for a long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-10T23:13:35.313" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3628" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3633" CreationDate="2011-12-11T00:09:03.690" Score="33" ViewCount="3197" Body="&lt;p&gt;Raising our two-year-old, my wife and I have slightly different views on how to get our child to obey instructions, such as &quot;get in the car seat&quot; and &quot;put on your shirt.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of us feels that it is important to explain to the child why he has to do what he's doing and get the child to feel like he wants to do it (&quot;let's get in the car so that we can go visit Joey&quot;) as well as offer trades and bargains (&quot;if you get in the car, I'll let you take your teddy bear with us&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other feels that it is important to teach the child that his role in the family is simply to obey, even if he doesn't agree or understand why; and frequently offering trades and explanations undermines that end, teaching him that he doesn't have to do as he's told, but rather is entitled to bargain his way into better positions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine the best solution is somewhere between the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But are there any studies or relevant &lt;strong&gt;objective&lt;/strong&gt; insights that might influence which strategy to emphasize at a given age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="701" LastActivityDate="2017-03-21T20:38:59.263" Title="Reasoning vs &quot;because I say so&quot;" Tags="|toddler|discipline|development|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3629" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-11T01:55:31.513" Score="4" ViewCount="2146" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can parents best prepare their children for the difficult task of choosing a profession, and dealing with all of the (frequently tedious) steps involved in making that career happen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The typical jobs most children will wind up having will set them up for a lifetime of a fixed schedule, with limited recreation time and opportunities.  Discovering this can be quite a shock to people, as introduction to professional life can be disorientating, and can cause some people to falter and fail due to not being adequately prepared for the commitment and discipline required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even worse, choosing poorly, or inadequate preparation, can result in winding up in a career that they do not enjoy, and will therefore spend the majority of their waking hours unhappily working in jobs that are performed only out of necessity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you help your children prepare?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1951" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-05T20:19:20.413" LastActivityDate="2016-12-28T06:52:40.917" Title="How should a child be prepared for adulthood?" Tags="|adult-child|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-12-29T13:49:38.837" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3630" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3632" CreationDate="2011-12-11T03:52:11.990" Score="8" ViewCount="10411" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is now 16 months old and does not know any words yet. He doesn't seem to understand anything we say either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He makes plenty of talking sounds, he looks at you and babbles but no words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep hearing about plenty other babies younger then him that are already communicating, saying at least 5 words and understanding more than that. This is making us worried there is something wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does a lot of physical mimicking though, for example, if we pick up a toy and touch it to our nose, then give it to him, he will touch it to our nose as well. And similar things like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are we just being paranoid? Are there any exercises we could do to help stimulate his development in communicating?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is both of ours first kid so we are pretty inexperienced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="651" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-11T11:57:44.577" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T21:26:09.050" Title="16 months old and no signs of communication. Should we be concerned?" Tags="|toddler|development|language-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2011-12-11T04:02:01.653" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry, but if you really spent your childhood in happy ignorance until one day you were told &quot;okay, now pick the job you'll do for the rest of your life,&quot; your parents did you a horrible disservice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the goals of parenting should be to help your child or children figure out what it is they like doing, and guide them into identifying how to make a career out of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly not everyone succeeds in making a career of what they like to do, but other skills taught by good parenting should help teach how to make the most of whatever the situation is, as well as how to go about improving things when things aren't working out the way you want them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lessons of parenting should not be &quot;once you become an adult, you'll be miserably and stuck spending most of your time doing stuff you hate for the rest of your life.&quot;. That's right up there with &quot;set your sights low, so you'll have less chance of failure&quot; and &quot;if you never try anything, at least you'll never be disappointed by failure&quot; as some of the worst possible advice a parent can give. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-12-11T04:02:01.653" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3630" CreationDate="2011-12-11T04:29:14.337" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not every child develops at the same rate, and it may not indicate a problem if your child is behind on one or two milestones. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children do speak &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/not_talk.html&quot;&gt;5 or more words by 15 months&lt;/a&gt;.   As I understand it, though, it isn't particularly uncommon for children to be a bit behind on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps more troubling is your statement that your son doesn't seem to understand anything you say, either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he use gestures besides mimicking what you do?  Does he point when he wants something?  Reach for you when he wants to be picked up?  Wave good bye?  These are all forms of communication that are indicators to look for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Warning Signs of a Possible Problem&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned about your child's speech and language development, there are some things to watch for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;An infant who isn't responding to sound or who isn't vocalizing is of particular concern. Between 12 and 24 months, reasons for concern include a child who:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;isn't using gestures, such as pointing or waving bye-bye by 12 months&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;prefers gestures over vocalizations to communicate by 18 months&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;has trouble imitating sounds by 18 months&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;has difficulty understanding simple verbal requests&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if your son is using gestures to communicate, you may want to mention his vocabulary to your pediatrician. Even if there is no cause for concern, it will provide more reassurance to hear it from a professional. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for what you might do to help your son learn:&#xA;- first and foremost, talk to him. Use full sentences, and talk about anything and everything. Most of early language development comes from the child listening to adult speech. The more you say, the more he learns. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;listen to what he says. When he babbles at you, listen quietly, then respond as if he had just said something very important. Make up in your head whatever you like for what you think he said.  It doesn't matter if you pretend he was discussing politics or the events of the day, but responding as if he said something meaningful models conversational behavior, and helps in the learning process. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read to him. The more you can read to him, the better. If he doesn't have interest in books, make up stories. Just so long as you are talking to him. The more he hears you talk, the faster he can pick it up. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-12-11T04:29:14.337" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2011-12-11T05:14:25.517" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;Explaining the reason tasks are required will help the child gain an understanding of tasks. It is developmentally important that children understand tasks - what we are doing and why so as they get older, they can reason through tasks themselves. However, bargaining, while tempting, sets a precedence of ever heightening &quot;price&quot; for compliance. This teaches a child that they can extort a price for every task you ask of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a variety of things I have read, it is important to find a balance between the two styles mentioned above. The ultra authoritarian perspective of &lt;em&gt;Do it because I say so, period,&lt;/em&gt; is likely to lead to resentment in addition to stunting the child's ability to problem solve and reason thought tasks. The bargaining will be hard to break the child of as they age. Behavior is learned and the child is learning that if they hold out, there will be some extrinsic value to completing every day tasks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An amazing resource that looks at balanced parenting in &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/074328920X&quot;&gt;No, Why Kids of All Ages Need to Hear it and Ways Parents can say It&lt;/a&gt; by David Walsh. It touches on bargaining for tasks. It does not really address the overly authoritarian parenting style, but may be able to provide some ideas for finding a parenting style that is consistent between both parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is NEVER good for parents to be in a position of extreme opposite parenting styles. It is confusing to the child and leads to possible resentment towards one parent. Balanced is the best, but togetherness is essential. Parents need to be a unified team. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-11T09:15:28.430" LastActivityDate="2011-12-11T09:15:28.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2011-12-11T05:26:05.527" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not really an answer to this because Boefett answered this quite well, however, if you are so miserable, find a new career!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As much as there are days work and being an adult is difficult and not all fun and games, both myself and my husband work in fields that we enjoy greatly. It will be our goal to help our daughter to find a career that she will enjoy. We spend a great deal of our adult life at work and we should find a way to enjoy that time. Of course, a great deal of preparing children for adulthood is providing them with age appropriate levels of responsibility that increase as their age increases. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a very small child parents should be requiring their children to do tasks like pickup their toys and clothes. They should have them helping with small tasks and gradually increase these tasks. A toddler can clear their plate to the sink, sweep the floor (usually easier with a smaller broom), dust, etc. As the child ages, the tasks that can be asked of the child can be increased. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These tasks should be presented to the child as responsibilities that are theirs and part of being a member of a family. It is further essential that parents participate in these activities with the child reinforcing the importance of the tasks. It is a mistake to think childhood should be all fun and games with no responsibility. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Childhood needs to be a balance between play and appropriate responsibility - it is supposed to be teaching children to be adults. Most play is purposeful - figuring out how things work, learning, and responsibilities like picking up can also be like a game to them as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By no means am I advocating taking the fun out of childhood, but making responsibilities part of childhood too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-12-28T06:52:40.917" LastActivityDate="2016-12-28T06:52:40.917" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="238" CreationDate="2011-12-11T07:15:11.093" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on two main factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The children's comfort level with bathing with others.  I stopped bathing with my siblings around age 7, because I became aware of the idea of privacy and I felt it was important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;YOUR comfort level with it.  The kids won't be developmentally harmed by bathing separately.  My son (age 6) now bathes without his sisters.  Why?  Because I was uncomfortable with him exploring how good touching &quot;down there&quot; feels in a bath with his sisters.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it is also vitally important to not make a big deal about it.  I just told my son, &quot;Well, I can tell you've grown up a lot.  Time to bathe alone.&quot;  He was unhappy at first and asked me why.  The answer I gave was simply, &quot;It's part of growing up.&quot;  I did NOT mention my discomfort over his behavior.  That was a conversation at another time.  Ok, that was many conversations at many other times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1950" LastActivityDate="2011-12-11T07:15:11.093" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-12-11T08:50:18.593" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bear in mind that atheism is theoretically as strong a position as theism -- both camps make assertions for which there is no proof, just in opposite directions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For clarity, the position of neutrality you're thinking of is commonly referred to as &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weak_agnosticism&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Agnosticism&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, which corresponds to the assertion that there isn't sufficient evidence to make any solid claims about the existence or non-existence of deity. If you are truly neutral on theology, then you can't dispute your neighbor's religion, you can only dispute his &lt;em&gt;certainty&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Atheists frequently claim agnostics as their own, saying it's a matter of degrees -- and theists occasionally make the same argument; neutrality being what it is. Nevertheless, the semantics aren't the important, what's important is perspective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question of &lt;em&gt;&quot;How can I protect my children from religious indoctrination, while not pushing my views on them?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; is fundamentally self-contradictory, since by shielding your children from the beliefs of others you're by definition taking a position against those beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your children to be atheists, then teach them atheism. Explain to them that god-based religions are wrong and that the briefs of their neighbors are based on delusion and tradition. There's nothing wrong with that (or at least, nothing &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; wrong than teaching them to follow any specific religion).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if neutrality is, indeed, your goal, then don't try to protect them from religion. Instead, I would recommend protecting them from &lt;em&gt;people&lt;/em&gt;, since the primary danger in any harmful religion is blind submission to the people who lead it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The chances of your children being lead into danger by a false god are astronomically small. But the chances of them being led into danger by a charismatic individual more than makes up the difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="701" LastEditorUserId="701" LastEditDate="2015-03-07T06:14:47.750" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T06:14:47.750" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-12-11T21:59:04.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an atheist, at least in the US, I think one failing of our society and education system is a lack of real theology education. Like it or not, believe in it or not, I think we can all agree that religions have played major roles in human history, politics, wars, media, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find those that are into religious zealotry also tend to be the least educated about different religions. In otherwords, they are ignorant. And that term isn't being used as an insult but rather a statement...they are people that are lacking knowledge in this area. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I say let your children know about the entire breadth of religion. Buddhism and Scientology. Greek Gods and Mormons. They're all rather fascinating stories. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To paraphrase (likely badly) Penn Jillette, atheists, in general, tend to be those that have a broader understanding of multiple religions than those that adhere vehemently to one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-12-11T21:59:04.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3638" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3642" CreationDate="2011-12-11T23:32:39.260" Score="5" ViewCount="522" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've just started feeding our infant solids and there are &lt;strong&gt;lots&lt;/strong&gt; of resources to figure what when and what to introduce but I haven't yet figured out when we should introduce water along with it. It seems like a waste to give him something that doesn't include calories or nutrients but he's also taking in a lot more solids at a time and the solids are a lot less liquidy than the breast milk he drinks most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be giving him a glass of water now? How much? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T14:55:24.080" Title="At what point should we introduce water (or other liquids) to our infant's diet?" Tags="|infant|eating|solids|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2390" CreationDate="2011-12-11T23:50:05.517" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We quite like Dictionary.  One person says a word, and everyone else has to guess if it is real or made up.  You can ask for definitions, which can be the funniest part of the game.  (This can also be played as a pencil and paper game, but that's tricky when driving.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1897" LastActivityDate="2011-12-11T23:50:05.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2011-12-12T02:06:23.407" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;One objective reason for the obey first, ask questions later approach is that when your child is in imminent danger, you don't have time for explanations and negotiations.  Also, children that young do not plan ahead to act in their own best interests, even by their own definitions.  They will cry for an hour because they want to play instead of putting a shirt on, when the logical thing to do is spend a minute putting the shirt on so they can play longer afterward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One objective reason for the explain and negotiate approach is that there are some things you absolutely cannot do unless your child buys into it, like potty training.  It plain does not work to order your child to go potty.  They need to understand the reasons or have a sufficient reward in order to take the initiative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The balanced approach is to teach that there are some situations where it's okay to object, and some where you just have to take your parents' word for it and obey.  You can't hit your sister, but you can choose which shoes to wear.  It doesn't make sense to negotiate with &lt;em&gt;anyone&lt;/em&gt;, whether with your children or in business, unless you are prepared to say the price is too high and walk away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T02:06:23.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3641" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3644" CreationDate="2011-12-12T03:25:27.380" Score="4" ViewCount="256" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I recently got pregnant with our first child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister-in-law's son is a Hemophiliac (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haemophilia_A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Hemophilia A&lt;/a&gt;).  She's a carrier.  There's no evidence of the disease in the family before them, but that doesn't rule out the possibility of my wife being a carrier as nobody else has been checked.&#xA;My brother-in-law was born without the disease and is fine and healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister-in law has been forced to go on Medicaid, with an income cap of $1600 a month, to afford the medication for this life endangering disease.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To prevent being stuck in the same situation if we had a son that had the disease, what precautions can we take?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is due at the end of July.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1573" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-05T14:33:43.973" LastActivityDate="2019-07-05T14:33:43.973" Title="What precautions do I need to take in the event that my baby is born with Hemophelia?" Tags="|newborn|health|family-planning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3638" CreationDate="2011-12-12T04:08:27.110" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From personal experience, it depends on the child. Like adults, some kids will happily drink more water than others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is important is that when they start solids it is important that they start to also drink water to avoid dehydration. As soon as my child began solids we started giving her water in a plastic sipping cup that had been boiled and returned to room temperature. We didn't worry too much about volume, but just ensured we offered it to her at meals and throughout the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1956" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T04:08:27.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3603" CreationDate="2011-12-12T06:23:56.843" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a problem with grinding my teeth when I was young. It led to a lot of dental work in later years, which could have been avoided with a little bit of behavioral modification. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is grinding his teeth in his sleep, he's &lt;em&gt;probably&lt;/em&gt; also grinding his teeth while awake. You may not notice it, because while sleeping, you tend to do it louder simply because you aren't aware of the noise that you're making. You will be doing him a &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt; favor if you can get it to stop now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, show your child how to park his tongue so that grinding won't happen. This is done by placing the tip of your tongue directly behind your upper front teeth. This has to become a habit any time he wanders off in his mind, or is otherwise engrossed by something. It's a trick my dentist taught me, which brings me to the dentist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See a dentist soon. The dentist will be able to tell you the extent of the grinding, and give you a splint for your child to use while sleeping. The splint is &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; uncomfortable, so the trick really is to break the habit while awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the adult teeth come in, grinding becomes extremely problematic as it wears down the enamel layer over time, which can quickly lead to easy staining or decay. It will take a little time, but you can nip the habit before that happens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T06:23:56.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3641" CreationDate="2011-12-12T13:07:55.860" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, I would talk to a professional health insurance advisor concerning your health insurance (I &lt;em&gt;believe&lt;/em&gt; your work is supposed to provide access to one as part of your health insurance). Bring every document you currently have, and make sure you understand exactly what your liability is, and what's on offer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, talk to your local government and hospital officials about this, to see if there is any government support that could be available. They may be able to recommend charities and organisations who work with haemophilia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing you personally could do is talk to your sister-in-law, and find out if she knows of any organisations who have reached out to her that might be worth talking to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've got the information, write up a comprehensive plan of what you're going to do in the event of this happening. Use the time available &lt;strong&gt;now&lt;/strong&gt; to think of what you're going to do when you're too tired and stressed to think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T13:07:55.860" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3630" CreationDate="2011-12-12T14:49:09.053" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in CT there is free service for children birth to three where professionals will come and evaluate your child.  I would look into this where you live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well, if your child is not communicating or understanding it may not be a language deficiency, it may be a hearing problem. I strongly recommend getting his hearing checked!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T14:49:09.053" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2011-12-12T14:50:37.023" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;I teach my children when they ask Why about an instruction, that I will explain why AFTER they follow the instructions, in this way they learn to follow the instruction and get to know why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T14:50:37.023" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3638" CreationDate="2011-12-12T14:53:33.210" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be careful when giving your child water or other liquids that you are still giving the child enough milk/formula.  Water is much easier and may comfort your child, but it takes a long time for the child to eat enough food and get enough nutrients from it, so I was very cautious about giving my child water/juice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend speaking to your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T14:53:33.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3648" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3656" CreationDate="2011-12-12T14:57:14.617" Score="13" ViewCount="4418" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most toys manufactured today include a suggested age range, supposedly identifying the ages of children who will (safely) appreciate the toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How accurate are these ranges?  How do the manufacturers determine the ranges?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know part of the determination is due to obvious safety issues (e.g. small parts that could present choking hazards for toddlers and infants, movable parts that require more strength or manual dexterity than young fingers might manage, etc.), but how do they determine the upward bound?  Or the lower bound when safety issues aren't the only determining factor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has enjoyed playing with a number of toys that were &quot;too old for him&quot; (toy trucks and cars that do not present choking hazards, for example), and there are a number that peg him squarely in the proper age range that seem &quot;too young for him&quot; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B002B555QQ&quot;&gt;this ball popper&lt;/a&gt;, for example, lists a range of 9 months to 3 years, but my son started playing with it at 6 months and lost interest before 12 months; I can't imagine many 2-3 year olds finding it entertaining for more than a few minutes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a standard by which these age ranges are determined?  Is there a way to determine which age ranges are influenced by safety issues, rather than the manufacturer's best guess as to how old my son should be before he'd enjoy it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-09T12:05:00.447" LastActivityDate="2019-07-09T12:05:00.447" Title="How accurate are the &quot;Suggested Age Ranges&quot; of toys?" Tags="|safety|age-appropriate|toys|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3649" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3654" CreationDate="2011-12-12T15:28:51.293" Score="6" ViewCount="462" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 15 months old, and has been eating an increasing variety of solid foods.  However, we are having a hard time getting him to eat normal &quot;meals&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His favorite foods are more in the category of &quot;snacks&quot;; particularly dry cereal, whole wheat &quot;gold fish&quot; crackers, pretzels and (most recently) tortilla chips (and salsa).  However, at meal times he tends to get hungry before we're ready, and frequently fills up on milk or snacks while we're waiting for the meal to be ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The end result is that he'll eat mostly milk, and carbs.  Even when he does a good job eating, when we're not at home his meal will include mostly bread or grains (he loves toast, crackers, grilled cheese sandwiches, and even tortilla chips), and only a couple of bites of meat (roughly the equivalent of a single chicken &quot;finger&quot; or strip), and, if we're lucky, assorted bites of vegetables, rice, or beans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home we do tend to have better results in making sure he gets fruit (applesauce is usually easy to get him to eat) and vegetables, but it can still be difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the first year, the rule of thumb was &quot;nutrition comes from formula&quot;.  Now that he's off formula, what are the general guidelines for ensuring proper nutrition as he slowly expands his repertoire of foods?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T13:53:29.567" Title="How do we ensure that our toddler is getting proper nutrition now that he is eating more solid foods?" Tags="|toddler|health|food|nutrition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3650" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3653" CreationDate="2011-12-12T15:35:53.457" Score="2" ViewCount="6055" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has some seriously crazy hair. She has waves right around her face. When she starts playing and getting sweaty, her hair will start sticking out and just look horrible and I can't figure out what to do with it. I tried letting her have bangs, but as they grow out they start flipping out to the sides. I have her bangs growing out and the hair still sticks out to the sides! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't feel right putting a bunch of products in her hair because she is only 5, but I feel bad for her because when I look at the other girls her age, their hair seems so manageable and smooth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can someone give me suggestions as to how I can tame the beast that is my daughter's hair? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1497" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T23:46:06.713" Title="How can I tame my 5 year old's wild hair?" Tags="|hair|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3641" CreationDate="2011-12-12T18:08:01.300" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has cerebral palsy, and I have some chronic conditions that aren't a big deal alone, but the costs add up significantly when combined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot depends on where you work.  If you work for a company that provides family insurance, your child is automatically enrolled, pre-existing condition or not.  That's generally not the case with plans that self-employed people use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We make heavy use of a health savings account.  Those let you deposit a certain amount every paycheck tax-free, then they reimburse you for copays and other medical costs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is born with an expensive medical condition, the hospital will assign a case worker to help you with your options.  Before that, the best you can do is get good employer-provided insurance, and reduce your expenses to put some breathing room into your budget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to look into genetic testing to see if your wife is a carrier.  Also, once you know if you are having a boy, you could get an amniocentesis to test him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T18:08:01.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3648" CreationDate="2011-12-12T18:57:20.800" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find that I need to closely evaluate where my child is preforming (schools can help with this). Two of my children had excellent fine motor skills at a very young age and therefore were able to do some toys (such as beading) much earlier than recommended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well, and possible more to the point, there is a law change about what is require at age three and up so many toys are labeled age three as the bottom age recommendation just to get out of the extra testing, so be careful when evaluating age 3 toys as they may be more appropriate for younger ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T18:57:20.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3650" CreationDate="2011-12-12T19:00:18.050" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like this is more your problem than hers.  She is probably to young to care and doesn't compare her self to others the way we, as mothers, do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of recommendations, you need to be careful not to send your uncomfortable feelings about her hair to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try headbands, elastic bands, or clips (if she will keep them in).  I find, as you did, that bangs don't usually work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T19:00:18.050" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3649" CreationDate="2011-12-12T20:30:49.693" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the easiest thing to do would be to keep more balanced snacks readily available.  That way when he's snacking it could be on carrots or apples sometimes instead of pretzels or crackers all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to look at adjusting either his meal schedule or yours.  It's not going to kill your kid to spend half an hour or so hungry, and you may find that he eats better as a result.  However, everyone else's lives may not be quite so fun until he's used to the new schedule.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if his diet is carb-heavy when he's not at home, try making it carb-light when he is to help balance things out.  For example, give him extra helpings of meat &amp;amp; veggies and skimp on the mashed potatoes or rice.  If you have some sway over his diet when he's not in your immediate care, you could pack him some snacks for the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T20:30:49.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3655" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3650" CreationDate="2011-12-12T21:00:26.537" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Despite your challenge of managing her hair, she must look adorable!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to your preferred hairdresser.&lt;/strong&gt; Ask specifically for tricks that don't involve hairspray. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you know that there are different shapes of cross-section, and that this determines not just how curly the hair gets but also how well it lends itself to different treatments and hairdos? Neither did I! Hairdressers are professionally trained to deal with lots of different kinds of hair, and a good one can help you with tricks and advice that we common folk have never heard of :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T21:00:26.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3648" CreationDate="2011-12-12T21:08:31.903" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that the suggested age range is almost exclusively dictated by the risk of swallowing parts and other dangers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, if my child has any kind of (safe) pleasure out of a toy, then I would not hesitate to let him play with it. Who cares if it's designed for a three-year-old? If my 2yo likes it, I won't stop him. (And it gives me a (false?) feeling that he's ahead of the curve.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's too difficult for him to operate, then he'll probably lose interest fairly quickly, but not until he's had some little frustration -- and a healthy challenge to his mental skills or dexterity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, it's a win! Just &lt;strong&gt;make sure it's reasonably safe, and disregard any age label!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ball popper you link to looks cute, but totally boring. It looks to me as if it's motorized, sort of like a fountain but with balls rather than water. I would think it's boring because it does not require much interaction from the child. More interaction, and some degree of difficulty, present a much more interesting toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-12-12T21:08:31.903" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3650" CreationDate="2011-12-13T01:42:47.707" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even though you said you don't want to use product, I have found detangler spray very useful.  It takes a lot of the stress out of brushing her hair, but doesn't leave a residue like hairspray or gel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plaits worked well too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1897" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T01:42:47.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3650" CreationDate="2011-12-13T10:21:27.867" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two daughters both had incredibly crazy hair which would not stay in bunches or plaits as it is so fine. The two pronged solution:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Detangler - to at least make their hair brushable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allowing it to grow - the eldest's is now long enough it sits flatter. The youngest still has mad hair, but having a 5 year old with mad blonde curls is actually pretty cute&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(offtopic - especially on a trampoline, which acts like a Van de Graaff generator!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in general - don't worry about it - she is 5. Lots of time before she'll start being concerned about how she looks to boys :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T10:21:27.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2011-12-13T14:49:16.370" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children, especially young ones should be able to live in happiness for as long as possible, why ruin their ignorance at a young age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As children get older ask them what they want to be when they grow up.  They will probably change their minds many times (although my 3 year old has wanted to be a lion for about a year now, we did tell him he will not be an animal when he grows up but he is sticking to it-why should I ruin his fantasy?).  This question and thinking about what they want to be will get them started on the road of knowing they will have to have a job when they grow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no reason why their job has to make them miserable!!! Even when I am frustrated with my job I try to let my kids know that over all I am happy with what I am doing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus what the child is good at and encourage them in that, if they continue to enjoy that activity in casual conversation talk about job in that field to give them an idea of what a good job for them would be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very sad that your childhood and job were/are not good.  Is it possible that where you are from had something to do with that?  Maybe here in America it will be easier for your children (when you have them) to adapt to having a job, as I find that middle school and high school more than prepares students for this eventuality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T14:49:16.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2054" CreationDate="2011-12-13T18:03:58.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent with a 13 year old daughter with Aspergers I can relate my experience.  First and foremost, the limitations in the social sphere are probably the most important consideration, especially as he approaches middle school aged.  You'll need to find a school that is accepting of differences, and a school policy of zero tolerance of bullying.  If your son has aspergers he will stick out, and he will be a target for taunting.  He can have the best academic environment, but if his social one is poisonous, then his academics will suffer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually aspergers comes pre-bundled with other conditions that need to be considered as well.  In my daughter's case, she has very poor working memory (think short term, like where you put your keys).  This coupled with limited ability to understand how to establish a plan, leaves her appearing to be scatter-brained.  She will often complete her homework, but forget to turn it in, day after day, even when reminded. She will also forget what homework she has to complete that night. What this means for her is that she needs a school where parent to teacher communication is well established, and where her limitations are understood and accommodated for.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You MUST understand your son's limitations, for it is you that will have to advocate for your son.  You need to vet the school based on what his personal limitations are.  As you may often hear, &quot;when you've met one child with aspergers, then you've met ONE child with aspergers.  They are all different.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=PKx3vHJY8Y0C&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PA1&amp;amp;dq=Asperger%20Syndrome%20and%20Adolescence&amp;amp;ots=GNofbvzz-r&amp;amp;sig=4foKajOOQQVTjGPluXzGxIUGIyA#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=Asperger%20Syndrome%20and%20Adolescence&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Asperger Syndrome and Adolescence: Practical Solutions for School Success&quot;&gt;Asperger Syndrome and Adolescence: Practical Solutions for School Success&lt;/a&gt; is an excellent reference for school planning.  Although it references the US system, I think there are many practical solutions that would apply in your situation.  (note the link to Google Scholar, which will let you read a fair amount of the book online)  Chapter 2 is a useful introduction to the challenges that an asperger child faces.  Chapter 3, page 36 on gives good insight into the complexity of working up a good educational plan. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="321" LastEditorUserId="321" LastEditDate="2011-12-13T20:29:09.817" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T20:29:09.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-12-13T22:21:27.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always told my (7 yo) daughter that Santa is real, for little kids. As you age, he brings fewer and fewer presents, and your parents give presents too - definitely separate paper! As you get to nine or ten, it's all from parents, but Santa still loves you. She loves it, even though she suspects, we both enjoy it so much. It's harmless and kind of magical. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All these people who &quot;never lie to their children&quot; - I suspect they don't have any kids. I never hesitate to lie to my child if it protects hurt feelings and I'm able to pull it off, or, in the case of her heart defect, prevented the child knowing her life was/is in danger. I keep her out of the room when doctors and nurses discuss her health, and lie to her sweet, blue little face about her long healthy life. Lies are not just harmless but necessary sometimes. Lies can take good care of a child until they are strong enough to bear the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I LOOOOVE Christmas. I was raised without it, and it's bleak to be outside looking in. Even if the kids know the truth, you can make it a magical time of year, if not with Santa and present, then with charity and good works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1961" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T22:21:27.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2011-12-13T22:56:22.710" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As other people have said, it sounds like your parents did you a disservice by not preparing you correctly.  But telling a child that being an adult sucks is just as much of a disservice.  Life doesn't have to go downhill from age 18!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The transition from childhood to adulthood involves gaining responsibilities, but also involves gaining many freedoms.  I think the right way to approach growing up is (as @Erin mentioned briefly) &lt;b&gt;giving them a little bit of both freedom and responsibility as they grow older.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friend's parents took this literally, and every year my friend would gain a chore, and was allowed to do something that was forbidden last year.  You don't have to be as blatant as that.  Maybe you want to restrict the movies/music your kid listens to when he's younger, but once he gets to a certain age, you can let him get his own music (freedom) with money he has earned (responsibility).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how to guide them into a career, I would suggest &lt;b&gt;letting them work in a variety of small jobs as a teenager&lt;/b&gt;.  My parents wanted me to focus on school, and I kind of regret not having a part-time job.  Working at McDonalds might not inspire them to stay in fast food, but it might teach them that they enjoy customer service.  Tutoring or babysitting can let them know if they have the patience to teach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T22:56:22.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2011-12-13T23:37:23.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer to your question &quot;How should a child be prepared for adulthood?&quot; is not telling the child how his life will look like. We have no clue how our children life will be. They will make their life, not us. It may not look like mine or yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To prepare a child for adulthood, we provide the foundations for success. The rest is their responsibility. I suggest the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Protect the child's physical health and teach him/her how to take care of their health.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Guard their mental health.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Build the child's character to be able to interact with the society in a manner that opens doors.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Enrich the child's general knowledge and awareness of the surrounding world.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give the child opportunities to cooperate with peers and lead others to get things done (leadership).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Expose the child to the different professions. Visiting work places and talking to people about their jobs. This will help them choose a career when the time comes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately, most of the above is provided by schools. However, it is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that these are provided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T23:37:23.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3650" CreationDate="2011-12-13T23:46:06.713" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has curly hair which does tend to get a bit on the wild side. So as others have already suggested I use a detangler spray. I make it up from a small amount of leave in conditioner mixed with water in a pink sparkly spray bottle. I find it's better to brush it wet as it then dries into nice curls or waves rather than brushing it when it's dry as it just goes frizzy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Curly and wavy hair tends to be drier, so you might find it beneficial to use a conditioner when you wash her hair (so much for the not using product!) Helps keep those nasty knots away and tames the frizz.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make a bit of a fuss about doing her hair and let her choose what style/ what colour hair bands etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1914" LastActivityDate="2011-12-13T23:46:06.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3649" CreationDate="2011-12-14T05:49:48.880" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a similar problem with my daughter (I called her the carb junkie).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Todlers are great grazers and they love eating food that is familiar to them.  My daughter tended to reject food that was different or new.  I tried to give her a few different things on her plate - whatever the big people were eating and also some things that I knew she would eat.  This way the normal &quot;meal&quot; food becomes familiar, even if in the first instance they just sit on the plate uneaten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to restrict snacks close to meal time so he is hungry for the main event.  If timing doesn't work for him to eat with the rest of the family perhaps you could try keeping aside a small portion of what you had for dinner the night before and give this to him the next night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind that the rate of growth starts to decline around this age, so don't be surprised if he is eating less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1914" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T05:49:48.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2011-12-14T07:14:15.763" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is one of the best teachers in life that I've had. She's observant and inquisitive on a very simple, but deeply provocative level. She does a really good job of pointing out that some choice I made long ago in life caused me to zig, when I should have zagged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Around this time last year, I was in the middle of what I feel was the worst job I've ever had in my life. In my teen years, I cleaned grease out of buckets at fast food joints, to give you some perspective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wasn't just working dawn to dusk, I was working dawn to dawn. The stress coming from knowing that if I didn't do some ridiculously impossible thing in an unreasonable amount of time my job would go away was affecting my health. I became withdrawn, and turned into someone I can only describe as &lt;em&gt;not me&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then my kid trapped me in a line of questioning that was so simple and so beautifully sensible that I realized a terrible thing had happened; &lt;em&gt;I had become what I promised myself I would not become&lt;/em&gt;, and I made immediate changes. I'm not going to go into detail about what she asked, That's all mine and just too special to share. I'm sure every parent reading this has a pretty good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The single best way you can prepare your child for the adult world is to show them that adults sometimes do well by listening to kids. Either the kid they have, or the kid they used to be. One of the worst things I can imagine is my daughter stuck in the situation I was in, which is why I'm glad she feels a piece of ownership regarding me getting out of mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastEditorDisplayName="user106" LastEditDate="2011-12-14T20:42:43.387" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T20:42:43.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2011-12-14T13:35:24.270" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do a balance of both. We have what we call &lt;code&gt;Reason #0&lt;/code&gt;, which is understood to be the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Mommy and Daddy love you very much, and our job is to keep you safe and help you avoid making bad mistakes. If we ask you  to do something, it's because we want you to be happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never felt 'good' about saying &lt;em&gt;because I said so&lt;/em&gt;, even though I must admit I've said it in moments of frustration. I want our child to think critically, and questioning what seems to be an odd instruction is an exercise in that. At the same time, I really need her to listen to us, and you can't expect everyone in life to explain their requests all of the time (teachers, bosses, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's at the point now (at six years of age) where if she doesn't get an answer to &lt;em&gt;why?&lt;/em&gt;, she just understands that it's something important that we expect her to do and (generally) just does it. Sometimes she does it with quite a bit of protest, but she still does it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do explain my reasoning quite often, provided there's time and it would actually make sense to her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T13:35:24.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3649" CreationDate="2011-12-14T13:53:29.567" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We made a switch from three to four meals per day, which solved this problem for us. Instead of breakfast, lunch, dinner, we have breakfast, lunch, a light &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merienda&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;merienda&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; and then a light dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breakfast consists of the usual well balanced assortment (cereal, bread, fruit, eggs, juice). Lunch is where most of the carbs are consumed, followed by a merienda that consists of some snack type stuff, plus carrots / celery / fruits. Dinner is the major meat helping of the day, usually accompanied with a salad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The meals are spaced out enough that there isn't a whole lot of snacking in between. All of us noticed that we have more energy during the day as well, and don't get sluggish after dinner which encourages more evening activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other positive here is another opportunity to offer incentive for finishing a meal. E.g. if you finish your merienda snack, you can (...), then later the same for dinner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may not be possible or even ideal for everyone, but it really worked out well for us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T13:53:29.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3599" CreationDate="2011-12-14T14:10:43.433" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever possible, &lt;em&gt;throw them out&lt;/em&gt;. You can't, unfortunately always do that (well you can, if you're ready for the consequences of being responsible for ducky's untimely demise). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did this, which worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Submerge the toy in a 70% solution of rubbing alcohol. Squeeze it quite a few times&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Repeat this process in hot (as you can tolerate) soapy water&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Repeat again in hot (as you can tolerate) plain water. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When done, the toy should not smell like anything at all (well, aside from the smell of the latex / rubber).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, this works on something that isn't completely crusted inside with mold or mildew. When possible, just pitch the toy if it starts to reek. You can always do it on the sneak, after getting a replacement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T14:10:43.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3625" CreationDate="2011-12-14T14:29:34.207" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like any other over the counter tonic, it's always a good idea to check with your pediatrician before giving it to your child. Our pedia gives us the riot act if we don't check with her regarding well known cough and cold medications. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gripe water probably worked wonders because of its alcohol content. In fact, the recommended dose for an infant was be similar to an adult drinking several (or more) shots of whiskey. Alarmingly, in some countries, it appears to still be formulated with alcohol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gripe_water&quot;&gt;fairly good article&lt;/a&gt; about it on Wikipedia, and an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1297971/pdf/10844880.pdf&quot;&gt;interesting history&lt;/a&gt; (PDF) published in The Journal Of The Royal Society Of Medicine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every single thing I read about it makes me &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; want to give it to a child. If you're trying to cure a case of colic, ask your pedia for advice.            &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T14:29:34.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3625" CreationDate="2011-12-14T14:51:31.777" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I've been able to research, personally I would avoid using any gripe water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond the original alcohol content mentioned by Tim Post in his answer, some doctors attribute much of the efficacy to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/214815-what-are-the-treatments-for-infant-gas/&quot;&gt;sugar content&lt;/a&gt;, as sugar exerts a natural pain relieving effect on young children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least some doctors seem to feel gripe water in general is relatively harmless, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://articles.latimes.com/2011/jun/20/health/la-he-skeptic-gripe-water-20110620&quot;&gt;may provide some relief in mild cases of discomfort&lt;/a&gt;.  However, for full-blown colic, it appears to be not recommended, and generally regarded by professionals as ineffective (or, at best, questionably effective).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the specific ingredients you mentioned, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylparaben&quot;&gt;Methylparaben&lt;/a&gt; occurs naturally in fruit such as blueberries, and is generally recognized for safe for foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sarjikakshara appears to be &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_bicarbonate&quot;&gt;Sodium Bicarbonate&lt;/a&gt;, which is a common treatment for acid indigestion and heartburn.  I did find a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.coliccalm.com/baby_infant_newborn_articles/baby_colic_treatment.htm&quot;&gt;claim that&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;... [sodium bicarbonate] alters the naturally occurring pH of baby's stomach acid. It may counteract some discomfort caused by acid reflux in cases of acidic stomach.  However, changing the delicate pH balance in baby’s system can cause over-alkalinity and exacerbate a colicky condition. Furthermore, sodium bicarbonate is also absorbed into the bloodstream and thus can have unwanted side effects. Studies have shown that sodium bicarbonate can deplete and interfere with Folic Acid and Iron, indicating that it may affect the function or absorption of both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this claim is unreferenced, and from a website devoted to advertising a brand of gripe water that touts not having sodium bicarbonate as an ingredient as a selling point, so I take that with a grain of salt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I did find a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.uspharmacist.com/content/d/consult%20your%20pharmacist/c/11469/&quot;&gt;site dedicated to pharmacists&lt;/a&gt; that states:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Pharmacists should be cautious about stocking or recommending various&#xA;  &quot;gripe water&quot; products, such as Little Tummys Gripe Water, Baby's&#xA;  Bliss Gripe Water, Wellements Gripe Water, and Gentle Care Gripe&#xA;  Water.7 These unproven products contain sodium bicarbonate, ginger,&#xA;  fennel, and/or chamomile, none of which is known to be safe in babies&#xA;  or effective for colic. Pharmacists should neither stock nor recommend&#xA;  these products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bronopol is a preservative used in pharmaceuticals.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/special/parentsguide/EWG_parentsguide.pdf&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; lists it as &quot;an ingredient always to avoid&quot;, describing it as an &quot;Allergen that forms cancer-causing chemical&quot;.  This matches up with information on Bronopol in &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronopol&quot;&gt;wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based upon the possible issues with both Bronopol and the sodium bicarbonate, I would say the risks outweigh the possible benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T14:51:31.777" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3638" CreationDate="2011-12-14T14:55:24.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is probably a question for your pediatrician, since your child's weight gain and other factors affect this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The common information seems to be that water can't substitute for breast milk/formula, and that even the solid foods your infant eats don't give them the complete nutritional set needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son loves drinking water, and we sometimes need to give him sone while eating solids to convince him to finish.  We also give him a small amount after he finishes, which even at this age (9 months) he seems to see as a reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are also dealing with a tendency towards constipation, and a little water after a meal seems to help with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1170" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T14:55:24.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3648" CreationDate="2011-12-14T15:00:34.360" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We find that the age guides are a bit of help from a safety perspective, but we can judge ourselves what we know will be safe for him. For our boy, anything that he can crawl on top of needs supervision, since he became obsessed with trying to walk since he hit 8 months old. Therefore, things that are suggested for his age aren't necessarily safe for our boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We judge a toy more based on if we think he will get something out of it now and then down the line. We have a bunch of toys, especially toys with wheels, that he will flip over and play with in his own way. He flips a walker / lawn mower toy over and spins the wheels for example. Over time, he seems to change the way he plays with these toys, moving toward the 'intended' use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1170" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T15:00:34.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3602" CreationDate="2011-12-14T15:08:47.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son was only 2.5 weeks early and just around 5.5 pounds when born. He has never been a fan of feeding, and especially is not a fan of bottle feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't want him to become a 'grazer', but we find that trying to force the feedings to much ends up creating a day that is really tough on us, and doesn't actually get a lot of formula into him. We let him take breaks of up to 10 minutes in between and if he really fights, we just let him go play and hope the next feeding is better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important factor seems to be the total amount he gets during the day, and keeping the stress levels down for both you and the baby. All the timing rules and regimentation from the hospital seem to be built around the fact that the nurses need to keep on schedule, and the needs of a 2 day old being very different that a 2 week old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1170" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T15:08:47.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2225" CreationDate="2011-12-14T15:11:23.783" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find, when my kids wake up with nightmares it is helpful for them if they tell me the nightmare, describing what happens and then, together, we think of an ending.  For example, my four year old is afraid of 'bad guys' (whatever that means) and so she tells me that the bad guys come into her room and want to take her, so I ask her who she wants to rescue her (she usually says mommy, but sometimes it is a superhero) and we talk about what I or the superhero would do in the dream (usually it has to do with punching the bad guy in the nose, then having me pick her up and run away).  This works as she then has a good, safe ending to the nightmare and she is able to go back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T15:11:23.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1711" CreationDate="2011-12-14T15:16:05.290" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;She should be sleeping through the night at this point.  She needs to be in her own room and you MUST find something else to sooth her to sleep, she should not be hungry at night any longer and you are encouraging her to wake up by feeding her.  I am a believer in crying it out, but it does not sound like you are ready for this.  It could be night tremors, a bit early but possible.  Maybe speak to your pediatrician about this possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-14T15:16:05.290" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3563" CreationDate="2011-12-15T02:54:30.487" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother sucked his thumb until late in his teens. What got him to stop was his own desire to grow up and become accepted by his peers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a tad creative and unique, but how about letting the child stay up all night. Then she will fall asleep without it. Once she is awake, you can congratulate her on her first night without using it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then inspire her to do a second night, challenger her to a third...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just don't make a child feel as it they are bad for wanting to pursue this habit, as it can cause additional stress and tension for the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1973" LastEditorUserId="1973" LastEditDate="2011-12-15T17:05:11.287" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T17:05:11.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3681" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3717" CreationDate="2011-12-15T03:34:35.053" Score="7" ViewCount="16051" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now 10 and was recently given an IQ test. This was a comprehensive, 2 hour test administered by a child psychologist who specialises in gifted children. Her results were highly asymmetrical. Her verbal skills (vocabulary and comprehension) were rated very high but her short term memory was below average. The sort of testing given was to ask the her to remember 5 digits and recall them in reverse order. This is by far her weakest aspect and seems to be dragging her down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What games, practices and training can I give her to help improve her short term memory? Given she is such a verbal creature, getting her to recite random numbers will be a hard sell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clarification:&#xA;My daughter was being tested as it had been suggested by several teachers that she may be &quot;gifted.&quot; This is generally defined as having an IQ of 130+, though mildly gifted can be defined as 115-130 range. Her language/comprehension skills maxed out the test, which only handles IQ up to 145. Her memory test, however, was below average. I believe that is a bit of an aberration caused by nervousness as her memory is not that bad, but memory is still the weakest part of the test. The asymmetry of the results surprised even the psychologist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-29T14:27:15.527" LastActivityDate="2018-01-29T11:21:26.490" Title="How to improve my 9yo child's short term memory" Tags="|education|school|middle-childhood|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3683" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-15T04:09:03.500" Score="19" ViewCount="31229" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a newborn who seems to like to pee when we change his diapers. Any tips on how prevent this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1129" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T23:06:08.037" Title="How to prevent &quot;open air incidents&quot;?" Tags="|newborn|diaper|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3683" CreationDate="2011-12-15T06:05:45.387" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;In short, you have to be a ninja. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boys are much better at getting money shots than girls (my nephew got me in the ear as I turned my head to shield my eyes). What you have to do is have a towel in one hand, as you take the diaper off with the other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Place the towel (can also just be the new diaper, but you'll usually end up changing twice) over the problematic area &lt;em&gt;as&lt;/em&gt; you remove the diaper. Hold the towel in place, apply what ever has to be applied and then secure the new diaper. Finally, remove the towel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you don't let the 'draft' in, you're usually pretty safe. If he still has to go, he will and that's easy to manage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, even with ninja skills, you're going to get wet from time to time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastEditorDisplayName="user106" LastEditDate="2011-12-15T06:14:44.493" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T06:14:44.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3683" CreationDate="2011-12-15T06:07:15.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only thing you can really do is alter the timing of when you change him.  Try waiting 15-30 minutes past when you'd normally change him.  Most babies tolerate that unless the diaper is soaking wet or poopy.  Other than that, make sure you have the clean diaper under him in place before you undo the dirty one.  That way if he doesn't need wiping or ointments you can get the exposed time down under a second with practice, and if he needs longer you have a diaper right there to block.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T06:07:15.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3681" CreationDate="2011-12-15T06:21:37.703" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you sure that memory and not attention span is the problem here? I'd try some of the classic games, like &quot;Memory&quot; (tile matching) with some extra incentives to find out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, with every match she gets, daddy does something extremely silly. Make the reward as creative and fun as you can. The game itself is not likely to engross her, but -&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; should be able to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At nine years old a lot of mind wandering is expected, it's only alarming and perhaps problematic if your child is having trouble completing assigned tasks. If that's not the case, then I wouldn't worry about it too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, don't get overly concerned that your child's attention wandered a lot during a boring two hour long test. Still, simple games that exercise the brain in a fun way can never hurt, especially if you make them memorable (no pun intended). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastEditorDisplayName="user106" LastEditDate="2011-12-15T07:32:50.070" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T07:32:50.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2011-12-15T09:57:43.083" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children at this age thrive on routine. When you tell them &quot;If you do x, y will happen&quot;, they just don't get it. So whichever one of you thinks you have to reason with your child needs to hit the developmental psychology books and get a clue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't some academic drivel on my part. I'm the proud father of a happy two-year-old boy who knows what to expect and what is expected of him. He might not know &quot;why&quot; yet and frankly he couldn't care less. We'll help him gradually understand as he matures. These things take time, so you just have to make the most of the present situation. And in the present, you can teach your toddler good habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T09:57:43.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3543" CreationDate="2011-12-15T10:06:18.273" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple answer: Defiance is a sport for toddlers. The more you tell them not to do something while they are doing it, the more they will do it. And they will look directly at you with a big mischievous smile and laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't let this anger you or take it as a sign of disrespect. They are feeding off you telling them not to do it, so just don't feed their defiance. In the knife example, all that's left is to take away the knife so the toddler can't harm himself/herself. The only way the toddler will learn not to play with the knife is to forget about the knife and not have access to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I have a two-year-old son.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T10:06:18.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3229" CreationDate="2011-12-15T10:48:41.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You cannot negotiate with a 2.5 year old. They just don't understand the concept. From your description, it sounds like you might have an underlying power issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does you toddler insist on doing routine tasks such as&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Opening and closing doors&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Switching lights on and off&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting the nappy/diaper bag in the bin/bucket?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, don't bother reading any further. Otherwise, keep reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be fun to teach your two-year-old to do these things, but it can quickly become a habit and she can totally lose it if you do one of these things just once instead of her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, you have a tyrant on your hands so you need to stage a coup d'état. Here's how we did it. It requires that your toddler have her own room and a lockable gate so she can't freely come and go at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One night right before her bed time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Throughout the bedtime routine, restrict your talking to giving instructions and saying goodnight.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After changing her clothes and nappy/diaper, put them in the laundry and bin and make sure she sees you doing that instead of her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pack up all her toys and take them out of her room. (Allow her to keep her teddy bear, though.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turn off the lights yourself instead of allowing her to do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Close the gate to her room instead of allowing her to do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put her in bed and tuck her in instead of allowing her to do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep lighting to an absolute minimum. This includes any hallway lights, for example, that she could see when standing at the gate in her doorway. (If she has a night-light, continue to use it. Children need just a bit of light so they can find their way in the dark.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can guarantee she will be screaming throughout the whole process as she sees her regime come crashing down. Despite step 5, expect her to get straight out of bed, stand at the gate and protest. (The point of step 5 is to establish routine, not keep her in bed.) You need to be strong and not cave in. If you cave in, you would have upset her for no reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the morning, your toddler will be completely different and much more pleasant. You will need to continue showing her that she isn't in control, so don't let her switch off a light, close a door or dispose of a nappy/diaper. It seems counter-intuitive, but it makes sense once you start to understand what toddlers really need. Despite toddlers readily assuming the role of tyrant, &lt;strong&gt;power over their parents is a burden that stresses them out&lt;/strong&gt;. Once you take away that burden and replace it with routine, you will have a happy and compliant toddler. And you will also be much happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T10:48:41.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3478" CreationDate="2011-12-15T11:08:34.250" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would keep your son in your room until he is ready to graduate from the crib to his own bed. He will be ready after he's started walking and is attempting to climb out of the crib. At that stage, a bed will be the safer option and in most cases the only place it will fit is in another bedroom. I wouldn't be worried that keeping him in your room for the whole first year would somehow hold him back developmentally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first son thrives on routine and hates change, so we thought this would be a difficult transition for him. We needed to move him to his own room at about 18 months because our second son was about to be born. We didn't want to wait until the last minute, otherwise he might have thought he was being replaced with the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started reading him a Sesame Street book called &quot;Big Enough for a Bed.&quot; We bought a toddler bed (it can adjust to a full-sized single bed) from Ikea and set it up in his bedroom with all his toys. We got him used to being around his bed just by getting him to play in his room with his toys. We would talk to him about the bed and get him to associate it with the book. Then one day, we put him in his bed for his afternoon sleep. Despite our fears, he took to it like a duck to water. So we put him in the bed that night and had no problem. I think the preparation helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T11:08:34.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3616" CreationDate="2011-12-15T11:26:52.977" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You cannot avoid this in families of more than one child. The best you can do is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach your children that everyone has at least one talent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Embrace each of your child's talents, encouraging them to develop their skills through study and practice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't assume that the apparently less talented child will always be that way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is to encourage them to improve themselves for their own sake rather than focusing on competing against others. Having said that, a bit of competition is healthy. We need to occasionally measure ourselves against others to see how we're tracking rather than deluding ourselves. And in the real world there will always be winners and losers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T11:26:52.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3543" CreationDate="2011-12-15T13:40:35.663" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think all of you are right about phrasing things in a positive way, however, the result might still be that the child does it in which case, especially when danger is involved (ie-the knife or the road) age appropriate punitive measures  must be employed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different ones work for different kids, sometimes trial and error is the only way to find out what works for your child. Also, the severity of the act (in terms of how dangerous it is) applies here as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) time out (one minute per year of age) works/ed for 2 of my 4 kids.  (My youngest is too young to respond to it and my second just doesn't care if she is in time out.  My eldest, who time out worked for when she was younger, she is now 7, puts her self in time out now when she knows she is on the verge of getting into a situation which is not good; in adult language we would call this alone time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2)If the situation is truely dangerous (ie- my 3 year old son crossed the street on his own) immediate action must be taken and therefore time out won't work as it probably can't be done right then.  I never have hit or spanked my kids, however, when he did this I did give him a swat on the tush.  I am sure it did not hurt, however he cried and after he was done crying I asked him what mistake he made and he told me he is not allowed to cross the street alone. I asked him why this is a rule and he said that cars can't see him, so he could get hurt (this is the why we had told him before, it was nice to know he was listening). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3)With my 4 year old who does not respond to time out we have used either removing her from the room (sort of like time out but she can come back when she is ready to tell us her mistake) or having her stand in front of us and discussing with her (usually in a long drawn out manner in order for it to feel not nice instead of like attention) what the mistake was and why it was not a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) with all my kids we only use the above as a last resort, prior to the unwanted behavior our house it really run on sticker charts.  The kids work on one or two behaviors at a time and get stickers on their chart when they listen the first time, or play with more kids at school (not just their best friend), or learning to go pishy in the potty, or going to bed nicely, etc.  HOWEVER, this does not work with dangerous behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to repeat that these are done after we have made the positive statement about the behavior we would like to see and the behavior is done anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T13:40:35.663" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2011-12-15T14:16:18.597" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found that reasoning with them growing up has paid off as my kids are getting older.  They realize that I am not asking them to do things unreasonably.  After knowing the reason why they are doing something they often come up with a different or better way of doing something to achieve the goal.   I have refrained from locking the power windows in the car and have just asked them not to play with them because its annoying to the driver (among other reasons).   I think this instills a more thinking discipline of thinking about others before they make an action rather than just refraining for an unknown reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For safety concerns, we certainly will make a command in an urgent voice, but I don't think that has to do with the two reasons brought up.  I would yell at an adult to &quot;stop!&quot; or &quot;Look out!&quot; if they were in danger as well.   After the call to action has happened, we always go over what could have happened or some of the consequences of an action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also agree that bargaining (different than reasoning) is a slippery slope and something to be avoided.  I do sometimes offer them a choice between doing a chore or getting punished (losing privileges) and then doing the chore.  That seems to be a bargain they don't really try to repeat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1192" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T14:16:18.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2011-12-15T16:09:52.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should be afraid of this conversation at all.  It's an opportunity to teach them something important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids should learn from a very young age that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We all have responsibilities that aren't fun, and there's nothing wrong with that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's important to try lots of new things all the time, because you never know what you might turn out to like or have natural skills for.  Hopefully in the process, they will discover a vocation that they enjoy, as well as avocations that make them happy even at times that their work is unsatisfying.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;IMPORTANT -- The more education you get, the higher the chance you will end up doing something for most of your life that you find stimulating, aligned to your interests, and that pays enough that you have some free time, as well as increasing your ability to change jobs and careers if you find yourself in an unsatisfying situation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's helpful to learn financial literacy starting at a young age, so that as an adult they are handling money and making decisions that allow them to have enough savings to be able to change jobs or careers when then need to, go back to school and learn something new, or just take a break.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they sit on their rumps watching TV, aren't motivated to learn much in school, don't try new things to discover their interests, and don't talk about money at home (with people who are literate about it), then yes, they may end up in very hard-working unsatisfying jobs their whole life.  But it doesn't have to be that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T16:09:52.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3681" CreationDate="2011-12-15T17:54:50.560" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing I thought of while reading your question was that this might be an attention issue and not a memory issue.  So I agree with @Tim regarding making sure this is the case.  My son has attention problems and you would think he has absolutely zero short term memory sometimes.  Really, he's just not listening (even though he might repeat what you say).  Other times, his short term memory is insanely good.  A long test seems like the perfect disincentive to giving effort to paying attention...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, what works really well to improve short term memory is math.  I understand &quot;getting her to recite random numbers will be a hard sell,&quot; however, I assume she is learning math in school anyway.  Have her do the work in her head.  It will exercise her working and short term very well and make her much more comfortable with the math.  The &quot;sell&quot; will be getting her work done and she'll see that she's soon able to get it done faster.  Part of the speed improvement will be her better understanding of the math that's required to do everything in your head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="992" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T17:54:50.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2011-12-15T18:40:43.360" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to admit, I HATED hearing, &quot;Because I said so!&quot; from my father and I promised myself I wouldn't use it on my children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I tell my son to go wash his hands before dinner and he says, &quot;Why?&quot; I tell him to look at his hands (usually dirty from crayons, markers, whatever he was getting into while outside,e tc) and ask him, &quot;Do you want to eat what's on your hands? I know I wouldn't - clean hands are much better to eat with.&quot;  He's not yet at the age where he's questioning EVERYTHING though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter on the other hand (yeah yeah, the apple and all that) was absolutely curious about absolutely everything.  I bought her a child's chemistry set for her birthday when she was 10, and she asked if she could carry it on the plane back to her father, and I told her &quot;No, it has to go in  your luggage under the plane.&quot;  She (of course) asked, &quot;Why, Mama?&quot; and my father chimed in with, &quot;Because your mother said so!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I turned to my father and said, &quot;That is not an acceptable answer. It wasn't for me when I was young, and I refuse to use it with my child.&quot;  I then turned to Vanessa and said, &quot;Because it contains a lot of powders and some chemicals which could make it hard for others on the plane to breathe should you spill them.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She thought about that and said, &quot;You're right Mama.  It should go in my baggage.&quot; and that was the end of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T18:40:43.360" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2011-12-15T20:24:31.307" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;A happy mommy makes a happy family.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This is an old phrase, but it is still true.  I have 4 children and both my husband I work full time.  I can not imagine not working, it helps me feel fulfilled, it lets me use my brain, and it gives me a social outlet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of what to do with your kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very lucky in that there is a nursery at my work for ages 2 months to 2 years.  After that, I put them in nursery school full day (7:30-4:30). Then to school.  I have found that putting them in school actually makes them function better as they get older, they know how to socialize at a much higher level then their peers.  They know all about mommy always coming back to get them when she drops them off, so separation has never been an issue and they know that when they come home mommy is going to play with them and spend time with them. (I cook all the dinners on Sunday so all I have to do is toss it in the oven so that I do have time to play with them after I pick them up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The weekend, as you can imagine is a very special time for my family.  I am a religious Jew and therefore on Saturday we do not use electronics at all.  This truly facilitates true emotionally rich family time, where my husband and I play with them in groups and individually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, as long as I stay very organized, I feel like I get lots of face time with my kids and they get the benefit of socialization and everything else that comes with school.&#xA;And I am a happy mommy which makes a happy family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-20T12:11:50.037" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T12:11:50.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2011-12-15T21:19:48.833" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this question isn't really answerable - some parents are good at parenting, some are not so good. It is going to be harder work for a single parent, and having two full time parents means a certain element of planning, but it is all doable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a stay at home mum and was one of 5 kids. I have 3 kids and we both work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of the important time with our kids - although I did have a job which took me away too much, I changed jobs specifically so I could spend more time with my family - now I would say we get high value time with them and we make the most of that time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am home early enough 4 nights a week to take them to Brownies, Swimming and Taekwon Do, and my wife manages the initial pickup from school, and the other afternoon sports and activities so we don't miss that much time with them outside school anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T21:19:48.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2011-12-15T21:27:00.130" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Impossible to answer this as there are simply too many variables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can the family live off one income rather than two? If not, NOT having two working parents will have major impact on the children as they get pushed into poverty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does the working parent have insurance? In the US, this is a sad reality. If not, having only one working parent means the family is at risk of major medical expenses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does the parent work a minute away or an hour away? Does the parent have 1 week of vacations or 6? Is the day care good or bad? Are they working 30 hour weeks or 60 hour weeks? etc, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-12-15T21:27:00.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3702" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3704" CreationDate="2011-12-16T00:12:19.940" Score="10" ViewCount="12506" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 1 1/2 year old daughter keeps wanting us to take her clothes off. She'll keep wailing until someone does. She'll try to take them off herself. I'm worried that she'll just want to be naked all the time - even when we're outside or company is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does she want to be naked? Is this a behavior I should accept, encourage, or discourage? Is this something I should be worried about? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2011-12-16T00:25:03.147" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T10:11:59.963" Title="Why does my toddler want to take her clothes off?" Tags="|toddler|clothes|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3648" CreationDate="2011-12-16T00:42:46.443" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Manufacturers typically list an age range that a typical child of that age could utilize most or all of the features of the toy in the way the manufacturer envisions the toy being played with. This may or may not match your personal considerations of what you find age-appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, when my son was 7 months old we purchased a plastic toy keyboard that was marketed for ages 18months+. At 7 months he was able to press on the keys and make them light up, but he was not able to understand the buttons to change the instrument sound and so forth. So while he wasn't necessarily using the toy to its full capacity, and may not have been playing music the way the manufacturer envisioned, he was still able to safely enjoy the toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Particularly when it comes to toys for babies the age range is determined by skills that a child of that age typically have. Like toys with buttons to press are usually labeled for 6+ months (or more) because babies younger than 6 months typically do not have the dexterity to press buttons. Or a ride-on toy requires the ability to both sit up, and climb on the toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child is given a toy that is significantly too hard, they may find the toy boring or frustrating. They may not have the manual dexterity necessary to operate the toy, they may find putting puzzles together too challenging and don't know what to do with the pieces and so on. Toys that are too easy, likewise will not hold a child's interest--give a child over the age of one a toy labeled for a 3 month old and they will probably be bored of it within minutes, and not find it exciting, and prefer more age-appropriate toys&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are different ways manufacturers can determine an appropriate age range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One would be though focus groups or other forms of product testing, where they have children of different ages play with the toys and they see which ages enjoy the toy and use it appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another would be by considering the skills necessary to operate the toy and looking up what age, developmentally, has that skill. A toy that requires reading and following specific instructions would require a child old enough to have a sufficient reading level to understand the directions and be able to follow them. The directions a 5 year old can follow must be much simpler than the directions an 8 year old will follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cases the age range may have been set by a marketing department before the toy was created, based on the demographics of their target audience. Or they might compare the age range of a competitor's product and choose to market theirs similarly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In many cases, the age range is arbitrarily selected to simplify product testing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a well-written article on Slate.com about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2007/06/is_that_doll_gonna_kill_me.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;how toys are safety tested&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since no toy manufacturer wants to get stuck making an embarrassing recall, most companies have their products evaluated by independent testing labs before they go on sale. [...] Many stores won't buy a product unless they're satisfied that it meets these standards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What kinds of tests does a toy have to pass? The generally accepted standards, testing methods, and labeling requirements are laid out in an ASTM document called the Standard Consumer Safety Specification for Toy Safety. Every kind of toy must generally be clean and &amp;quot;free from infestation,&amp;quot; and it can't have sharp edges or exposed bolts. If the toy is meant for children under 3, it can't have any &amp;quot;small parts&amp;quot;—defined as pieces that can fit inside a 1-inch by 2.25-inch cylinder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, basically, it is not uncommon for toys to be labeled as 3+, simple because a company does feel it is justified or cost-effective to spend the extra money to have their toy subjected to additional testing to verify whether or not it has any parts that are choking hazards and the like, if they expect their primary users of the toy are not babies. I have even seen fuzzy baby-rattles in a college bookstore say they are for ages 4+ on their tag--which would appear to be more for lawsuit-prevention purposes than based on what age would use and enjoy the toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, I would say that toys for ages less than 3, the age range is based on the typical developmental abilities at a particular age. However, obviously, some children walk and talk younger than others and have varying skill levels, and in some cases, a child may simply never like a toy, age appropriate or not--my 18 month old son, for example, is quite fascinated with the ball popper you linked to, and studying how the balls defy gravity. Some of it is personality. The toy age range suggestions may help a parent decide that one type of toy to select, but they are not absolute, and many children are ready for toys more &amp;quot;challenging&amp;quot; than the package lists the ages for sooner. But sometimes a child will not be able to immediately fully enjoy a toy if given too soon. At 12 months, my son could not solve board puzzles, but at 10 months, he can. But that doesn't mean we waited until 18 months to obtain one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T00:42:46.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3702" CreationDate="2011-12-16T00:48:50.610" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being naked is fun...for children.  It can be very freeing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I understand your concern.  I think most children go through some period of this desire (my children often want to sleep naked).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with a child being naked but this must have limits.  I taught my children about private areas very early and I would insist that your child keep her diaper/underpants on at all times.  Simply say to her &quot;privates are private&quot;.  She won't understand your words at first, but you would be surprised how fast the understanding will come.  Your other concern, outside and with company, must also be taught to her.  We behave differently with family, we behave differently in our house then at other times.  While your body is beautiful there are appropriate times to be naked and with company and outside is not one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that your daughter is very young and won't understand all of that, but she can learn appropriate and inappropriate behavior. This is your opportunity to teach her both a love for her body and modesty at the same time-run with it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way: I use appropriate language with my children from the begining.  (your vagina is private).  I would use the word modesty (we actually use the Hebrew/Jewish law word for modesty with our children). There is always the good privates are private line as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T00:48:50.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3681" CreationDate="2011-12-16T02:59:47.320" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am unclear about a few things in your question however I think I can lend some advice to the stack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, you say that the 'tester' specializes in gifted children, were you having your daughter tested because she fits into this category?  If so, is her short term memory age appropriate and just not above average like in other areas? These clarifications may make it easier for us to help you and for you to help yourself, think of things in perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of short term memory and/or attention issues first you need to think about the test.  Give yourself that type of memory test after sitting with a stranger doing problems and answering questions for an hour and see how you do!!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, in terms of what you can do--play games with her!  Age/intelligence appropriate games of any sort.  Let's use Monopoly or Chess as two popular examples (although any game would do).  Think of all the academic skills she will be practicing (I know this is not your concern but is a nice side benifit).  Think of all the face time she will get with you (again not your concern here but a nice side benefit).  Think about the need to sit until the end of the game (attention).  Think about the memory needed to know what is going on while having a conversation with you (side benefit of face time as mentioned above)--keeping track of the game and the conversation is a real life short term memory test!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T02:59:47.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3706" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-16T09:57:40.800" Score="2" ViewCount="414" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2.5-year-old son is often wetting his pants. He wears diapers during noon-sleep and night-sleep but none when awake. He knows how to call for the potty. Nearly never does the big thing in his pants but the small thing often passes through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shall we push forward and avoid diapers in bed too? Or let him wet for some time so he feels more the annoyance? (I suspect he likes us to change his pants) Or just wait for this issue to go away by itself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-30T12:32:27.273" LastActivityDate="2019-08-30T17:37:57.447" Title="What are some techniques to avoid wet pants in a 2.5-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|diaper|bed-wetting|enuresis|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2011-12-16T10:16:36.340" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I didn't see anywhere that this choice is relevant only on explainable questions. But many &quot;order&quot; received from the parents are simply not possible to explain with words, or too complex for this age. For instance, how do you explain (and should you?) to your kid why he or she should not pull of pants in public. The answer I would give is &quot;Human being don't do that&quot;, which is not an explanation at all, and goes without saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, I like my kid to experiment by himself many things. so, for instance, if he is pushing around a big chair dangerously, I will say &quot;be careful&quot; loud enough, but if not too dangerous I'll let him go to the obvious result of him falling down under it. Then I'll say &quot;I told you to be careful&quot;. I think this way is maybe more sticky than explaining in lengths why pushing a chair is no good, while not allowing the kid to experiment by himself the reason why. Obviously not applicable in all cases, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another middle-way to explain things that is not reported here is to say &quot;because you will make your parents very sad if you do it&quot;. It is not a rational reason, it is emotional, but I think it is still better than bargaining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T10:16:36.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3702" CreationDate="2011-12-16T13:18:30.833" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is perfectly normal - in our garden in the summer my kids were still running round naked at 6 or 7 years old, but by that age they have enough personal modesty that they put clothes back on if we have visitors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 1 1/2, they just don't have that sense of modesty so you have to find a way of being their modesty filter for them, without making them feel that nakedness is wrong or dirty. So it can be very difficult. I like @morah's &quot;Privates are private&quot; line - wish I'd heard that when the kids were younger - but what I did was just talk to them about when things were appropriate, for an 18 month old it can be appropriate pretty much any time round the house (as long as they are toilet trained :-) but they understood that the same wasn't true when out shopping or in a restaurant, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T13:18:30.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3706" CreationDate="2011-12-16T13:33:38.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all night time:  A child has no control at night until his body does it for him, so stopping the diapers at night is just going to bother him and you.  My 4 year old daughter (girls usually have control at an early age then boys) still needs a diaper at night and the pediatrician says they don't worry about it until age 6 and even then don't do anything about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, in terms of accidents at daytime:  It sounds to me like he does like the attention of having his pants changed by you.  Two ideas, can he change his pants himself?  If so keep pants and underpants in the bathroom and let him handle the whole process himself.  If he can't change himself try a sticker chart everytime he does make on the potty and don't talk while changing his pants and do not interact with him so that he is not getting extra attention while having his pants changed and he does get positive attention when he makes in the potty.  I found with my two year old he was able to wait 26 stickers for a spider man action figure that he wanted.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T13:33:38.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2225" CreationDate="2011-12-16T15:11:38.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there things you could do to gradually reduce your son's fears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was afraid of the hoover when he was 2. I think it was the noise that bothered him, and the way that things disappeared into it. The thing that helped him most was learning that he could control the hoover himself. As a result, I've got some great photos of him doing the hoovering!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things you could try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make up stories for your son about a friendly silver man who is a hero who loves to save little boys from bad things. Let your son help you make up the stories.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read books about nice friendly robots.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Phone up your son and let him talk to you on your iPhone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy a nice cute cuddly robot for him, one that he can take to bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gradually reintroduce the things that you've taken away. Let his favourite cuddly toys play with them. Show him that you're not afraid of them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make robots out of old cerial boxes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let him rescue you from paper robots by tearing them up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing to bear in mind is your response to your son's fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is now 7 years old, but still wets the bed. When he does so, he needs a shower in the morning. The important thing is that on days when he doesn't we the bed, he can still have a shower if he wants to. That way, if he wants a shower then he doesn't have to wet the bed to get one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So (for example) if you only let you're son into your bed when he wakes up worried about robots, then that's just one more reason for him not to let go of his fear. On the other hand, if he can come into your bed (at certain times) anyway, then he's free to let go og the fear without loosing any of its benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, then, continue to comfort and reassure your son when he's frightened, but make sure you offer the same comfort and reassurance at other times, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, remember that these fears won't last forever. They're probably very frustrating for him / you / your family at the moment, but in time they are sure to pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="270" LastEditorUserId="270" LastEditDate="2011-12-16T15:24:56.707" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T15:24:56.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3711" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-16T15:14:19.970" Score="7" ViewCount="409" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering how to figure out why my 4 year old son no longer likes preschool. He is quiet and doesn't say why he doesn't like school when asked about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old son started preschool in August and liked it a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At parent teacher conferences I heard he was quiet and mostly watched other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4 months later he now says he doesn't like preschool and is being disruptive. For example when other kids are working he may lay on their work area or hover very close to them. The other kids do not like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been many changes we started carpooling about a month ago, his mom started working so now he is at Grandmas about 20 hours a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1858" LastActivityDate="2011-12-17T21:43:13.930" Title="How do I figure out why my child no longer likes preschool?" Tags="|pre-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3711" CreationDate="2011-12-16T17:10:53.930" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;He may not consciously know why he doesn't like it, or may not be able to remember when he is not in the moment.  It would probably help to observe him yourself at preschool or in another playgroup setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to help kids that age open up is to mimic their behavior and see how they interpret it.  We found this out by accident by trying to show our kids how annoying some things they do are.  Instead of getting annoyed themselves they say things like, &quot;It's okay, Daddy.  I'll play with you so you can be happy.&quot;  For some reason, talking about other people is easier for them than being introspective.  Reading a storybook with him about a child who doesn't like school might help for the same reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T17:10:53.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3711" CreationDate="2011-12-16T17:39:00.653" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;He probably misses his parents.  With all the changes in his life he is acting out by being disruptive.  As well he may know subconsciously if he tells you he doesn't like school he will get attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First thing to do is explain to him what is going on in his life.  Discuss that mommy has to go back to work and that he has to go to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second thing to do is give him as much face time with you as you can.  And I am talking quality face time!  Put away all the electronics and phones (a very difficult thing to do in this day and age) and don't let anything interrupt you.  Demonstrate for him appropriate play through playing with him and afterward ask him what was fun about what he did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third thing to do is at the dinner table.  Everyday have each person at the table (including you) say their best thing of the day.  We are all prone to complaining (welcome to human nature) and this pushes us to state out loud something we liked today.  We do this in my house and it is terrific.  At the beginning you may want to ask the teachers for some ideas of what they did that day in school so you can help prompt him as to what he may have enjoyed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T17:39:00.653" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3702" CreationDate="2011-12-16T20:11:55.520" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just adding to the chorus...clothes, for the most part, suck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 10 year old still will often come in the house after school and the first thing he does is strip to his underwear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that I work at home, even as an adult, there are many days that I'm wearing the same. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, that doesn't help solve your problem, but hopefully reassures you that there is nothing abnormal about the behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-12-16T20:11:55.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3683" CreationDate="2011-12-17T04:13:20.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Set the child on a toilet after removing the diaper. Then the child will pee in the toilet, and will get familiar with a future skill. See my answer to a previous question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/91/how-can-i-potty-train-a-12-month-old/108#108&quot;&gt;How can I potty train a 12 month old?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-12-17T04:13:20.347" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3683" CreationDate="2011-12-17T05:34:22.967" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of tips I was given years ago: open the diaper, let the air drift in, wait a couple of minutes, then change it.  (Or, if you're in a hurry, open the diaper and let a breeze in for a few seconds, but be prepared to cover again.)  I was also told that changing a baby on their stomach works, but that's obvious and may not be good diapering practice, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are any number of other tricks to encourage the deed, which may be done before changing the diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1369" LastActivityDate="2011-12-17T05:34:22.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3681" CreationDate="2011-12-17T06:00:04.903" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some techniques that can be used at any age to improve short term memory include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Song lyrics: After listening once, try to sing it.  Poetry works as well.  Try finding something lyrical or witty and this won't seem like studying.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Number memorization: Some people enjoy memorizing digits of pi (i.e. read more digits, see how many one can remember, repeat), but much more common is to remember telephone numbers.  Have your child take responsibility for calling relatives.  The numbers will eventually migrate to long term memory, so you may need to find other numbers, leading to...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Card games: There are many types of games, and remembering what someone else has played (or what's been played overall) is a good way to work on both strategy and memory.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Other games: Mastermind, Memory, Battleship, checkers, and chess will all work on short term memory.  In some of the games, uncertainty and the inability to observe opponents' state will require short term memory for good strategy.  In other games, like Chinese checkers, checkers and chess, the memory is used to quickly re-access previous &quot;evaluations&quot; for subsequent moves. [Strategy and planning is actually using &quot;working memory&quot; rather than short term memory, but the two are often related, and there's a possibility that the working memory was not tested.  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2657600/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; if you're interested in the distinctions.]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Music: Learning to play an instrument or sing a song will develop long term memory and short term memory is developed along the way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Visual short term memory can be exercised with things like jigsaw puzzles (&quot;where was that piece...&quot;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spatial memory might be developed by hiding and finding objects in some order.  I'm not aware of any particular games for this, but I could imagine a &quot;hide it and find it&quot; kind of challenge.  Now where did I put my keys... :)  Actually, this is quite useful in life - remember that when we're driving, we have to remember the locations of other vehicles with a minimum of error and effort.  Some video games that involve finding objects as part of an adventure may be good for spatial recollection (not age appropriate, but &quot;Assassin's Creed&quot; comes to mind).  I don't know what would be an age-appropriate experience like remembering other drivers while driving a car, though, and yet that's quite a good challenge for adults.  :)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1369" LastEditorUserId="1369" LastEditDate="2011-12-18T04:07:13.037" LastActivityDate="2011-12-18T04:07:13.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3711" CreationDate="2011-12-17T21:43:13.930" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just from my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter started disliking her creche at 3 when one of the caretakers told her off for not sleeping. She never forgave the woman and eventually it got so bad that we had to take her to a different place. She would cry every time we dropped her off and it just got very ugly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the age of 4, she was in kindergarten and an early learning program. She started disliking the kindergarten program by about 4.5 as I think she found it to childish and much preferred the more school-like early learning program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-12-17T21:43:13.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3719" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-18T02:04:27.420" Score="2" ViewCount="379" Body="&lt;p&gt;This game doesn't seem very safe... throwing plastic birds around trying to knock things over? But the kids are incessantly asking for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T15:17:19.323" Title="My kids are asking for Angry Birds Knock On Wood for the holidays, is it safe?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3719" CreationDate="2011-12-18T02:09:17.820" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's actually not nearly as unsafe as it seems. For one thing the birds are soft rubber squeeze toys. I've been hit in the head with them and it barely stings. The catapult for launching them is pretty weak, at full pull you can fling them about 5' distance, and about 3' in the air.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, if your kids are asking for this game by name, they're likely already familiar with the concept of the game and are trying to implement it with their existing toys. I'd much rather sit down at the table with my family and this game than walk into my son's room and find him throwing stuffed animals across the room into piles of blocks or lego castles. (Been there, done that.) Now that he knows we have the game he asks to play it instead of staging it with his other toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-01-17T15:17:19.323" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T15:17:19.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-12-18T04:22:43.587" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can expose them to many religions.  Even a medium sized city will have a lot of different religions.  One could easily have exposure to a Quaker meeting (caution: sitting silently in a room full of people doing the same is probably the most challenging thing your kids will ever do in this &quot;education&quot;), a Catholic Mass, a Unitarian debate, an Evangelical experience, and that's just Christian-derived theologies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One need not stop at just religion.  In addition to theistic practices, exposure to ceremonies and customs can be enlightening.  In a larger city, it's not hard to gain exposure to Eid ul-Fitr, Diwali, Dia de los Muertos, various harvest and annular festivals, and many other celebrations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seeing many different types of people and beliefs is potentially more enlightening than exposure to or against any one religious framework.  Knowing that there are many options will give children more capabilities for deciding what works for them, as well as a better understanding of others' beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1369" LastActivityDate="2011-12-18T04:22:43.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2150" CreationDate="2011-12-18T23:45:06.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all I find it odd that you say: &quot;What i need are some &lt;strong&gt;sites&lt;/strong&gt;, ideas, or books...&quot;  Think about what you are saying, you want sites on the computer to help your child figure out what to do when she is not on the computer!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Screen time is not something that should be done everyday and I second and third the above suggestions of a time limit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of what else to do:  arrange more playdates so she has someone to do something with, in our house playdates are PLAYdates!  Sounds like she is into crafts, which are always a great thing--try going with her to the store (Michael's is always a good place) and letting her choose things that she likes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say she doesn't do things with hand eye coordination, however, as a technology teacher I can tell you that using the computer IS hand-eye coordination!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to do is engage her in games WITH you!  She may complain at the start, but face time with a parent is the best thing you can do for a child of any age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And talk to HER, ask her what she thinks.  Have her survey her peers about what they like.  Tell her what you like to do in your free time.  Ask the teacher what he/she sees as strengths that may develop into a hobby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-18T23:45:06.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2011-12-19T08:37:52.600" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will outline my particular theological disposition after the body of this post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Advice:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On of the absolute best things you can do, both for yourself and your child, is, when asked the question, &quot;Why does person X think Y?&quot; is to go and do the research. Yes, this involves legwork, yes, this involves familiarity with the Dhammapada, the Q'oran, the Bible (and, as Catholics and Orthodox make up more than 66% of Christianity (and their systems of beliefs are far more subtle and nuanced than what you'll find in the Bible alone), you may want to consider learning about the Christian writers that they hold in high regard), and the Bhagavad Gita, but this is a question which will prove no small part of your child's politics, behavior, and intellectual development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next best thing you can do, is to keep asking &quot;why&quot;. If someone says something disparaging about a religion, look it up. If someone says something good about a religion, look it up. Do the legwork and don't let prejudice stand in the way (that's lazy and disingenuous). Your biggest enemies here, in my opinion, are partial truths and mis-information&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things I try (and often fail) to do in religious debate is provide a well-reasoned, dispassionate defense of those with different beliefs from myself (as someone who has a family with at least three different doctrinal systems, this is invaluable). I've read all of the above works, as well as Nietzsche, Marx, and Hobbes so that I can try to speak the subtleties of faith. I do this because I've been in too many religious debates which have gone too sour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1. So, recently, I was referred to an article where someone quoted the Pope as saying, &quot;Theologians in the Church said that this scandalous behavior was not evil at all&quot; when his real quote was more like, &quot;These scandals are caused by a grave and profound evil. Unfortunately, some who claimed to be &lt;em&gt;&amp;lt;insert original quote&amp;gt;&lt;/em&gt;, when, in fact, it was totally depraved.&quot; Unfortunately, people took the article at face value and then started a series of long tirades against the Pope...&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;h3&gt;Personal background&lt;/h3&gt;(Included because I seems to be the most theistic voice answering your question)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it might be a good idea to note first that I am a theist (Roman Catholic), I was born and raised as an Evangelical/Fundamentalist and a young-earth creationist (I once said that the Big Bang was an atheistic philosophy which should not be taught to my physics teacher... in the middle of class), for the first two years of college I professed minimal Christianity and eventually agnosticism. I then converted to Roman Catholicism my Junior Year, and I remain a devout one to this day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother and step-father can be best described as Evangelicals. My father and step-mother are &quot;liberal Christian&quot; &amp;mdash; that is hard to explain, but it has generally been summarized that the Bible is more of a &quot;moral guide&quot; and the vast majority of it should be taken figuratively at best. My mother's parents were Protestant (Methodist? It wasn't really talked about), my father's father was a Unitarian, and I only learned that my father's mother had been raised Catholic when I was an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you think that this is complicated, you should ask about politics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="324" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T08:37:52.600" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3726" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3729" CreationDate="2011-12-19T08:53:55.587" Score="9" ViewCount="1859" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a two month old. We are big believers of using the 5 S's to sooth her ( swaddling, side, shush, swing , suck )&#xA;We usually swing/rock her in our arms. Recently we started to use the swinger seat because she's getting heavier and it's getting harder to hold her for long periods of tme while rocking her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My big question is if we rock her to soothe her or to get her to sleep, will she be dependent on the rocking/swinging motion so much that she'll still need this when she gets older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually she will not fit in the rocker and will also be too heavy for us to rock her in our arms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T17:20:35.013" Title="Can rocking an infant make her too dependent on it?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3507" CreationDate="2011-12-19T09:09:19.210" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our lactation consultant suggested that we undress the baby down to the diaper for feedings. Also if she starts to get sleepy during a feeding, tummy time will wake/annoy the baby. Tickling/stimulating the foot also helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T09:09:19.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3726" CreationDate="2011-12-19T11:24:15.120" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should worry about this - everyone I have ever met who has kids rocks them. As they get heavier this rocking moves from in the arms to the rocker and eventually it peters out. I think this is a natural phase - they are continually rocked in the womb, so they have to be weaned off it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of ours did like to be rocked when she was too big, so for a short while we used to shoogle* her a bit when she was in her cot, by pushing her from side to side. But this got less and less until she didn't want it any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(*translation from the Scottish - gently shake)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T11:24:15.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3726" CreationDate="2011-12-19T13:08:08.877" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer:&#xA;No, rocking your child is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long answer: no, you can't really &quot;overly rock&quot; a child, but it can lead to the child learning to depend on it. If you don't make sure that you're putting the child down to actually fall asleep without rocking. Basically, if you don't put the baby down before the baby falls asleep, so that the child can fall asleep without you, then that can lead to those annoying, &quot;My child won't sleep without me&quot; problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is actually true of &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; you do for your child, make sure that she has to fall asleep on her own for a good portion of the time, it is OK to let them get to the &quot;mostly asleep&quot; state with help (that's a good thing), but if you let the baby fall asleep &quot;with help&quot; too often (and &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; you stop helping), it can be a headache (I've seen it with others' kids).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="324" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T13:08:08.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3726" CreationDate="2011-12-19T13:31:52.910" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't spoil an infant.  As the child grows she should be sleeping more and more on her own, maybe fussing a bit, but not crying.  As long as that starts around 6-7 months I think you should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T13:31:52.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3731" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3734" CreationDate="2011-12-19T13:35:22.077" Score="2" ViewCount="181" Body="&lt;p&gt;When should we teach our kids about other cultures and holidays? We are Jewish which makes it a bit complicated this season.  We are often wished Merry Christmas in stores (seems natural as most people in America celebrate Christmas in some form). We are surrounded by Christmas lights (one of my favorite parts of the season).  My kids know that different people celebrate different holidays and that is great and we need to respect everyone's holidays.  My kids are 7, 4, 3, and almost 2.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When is it appropriate to start explaining other peoples religions in terms of things like what Christmas means? What Channukah means?  What Kwanza means(Which every religions are not your own)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-12-19T14:37:00.940" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T00:20:02.533" Title="When is it appropriate to start explaining the religious components of the various holidays?" Tags="|education|holidays|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3719" CreationDate="2011-12-19T13:46:54.790" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just because they want it doesn't mean they need it and doesn't mean you must get it for them. It sounds to me like you don't want to get it for them but you also don't want to disappoint them. This is a great time to teach them that want and need are two different things.  Teaching them that they don't always get what they want is a good lesson in growing up.  As well, it does seem dangerous, even if it doesn't hurt what are you teaching them about throwing things in the house, which can break things even if they don't hurt people.  As well, why do they need to be throwing things in the house?  Teaching them that there are rules and there are inappropriate items out there that they just can't have is an important lesson (as I stated above, but it deserves repeating).  Stay strong to what you think is the right thing to do, sound like not buying it, and remember that you are the parent and know what is best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all I recommend not buying it and if they complain teach them that sometimes we don't get what we want.  That everything they need and most things they want they get, but sometimes the answer is no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T13:46:54.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3731" CreationDate="2011-12-19T13:53:30.527" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The appropriate time to explain the religious beliefs depends entirely upon the level of exposure your children have to adherents of those particular faiths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite honestly, I still do not fully understand the religious significance of Ramadan, apart from it being a period of fasting (thanks, Wikipedia!).  Also note that Kwanzaa is, to my understanding, more of a cultural celebration than religious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understood Christmas from an early age simply because the vast majority of the people around me were Christian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By contrast, most Christians I know today have only the faintest of concepts of what Channukah is about (most seem to assume that it is one of Judaism's most important celebrations, and that the gift giving is symbolic of something; in reality, Channukah's biggest claim to fame is that it happens to fall at roughly the same time as Christmas, and the gift giving is solely a concession to the gift giving component to Christmas).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can start out with a thumbnail sketch of each holiday as soon as they become aware of the holiday, and then fill in more details as your child asks more questions.  Let your children's curiosity be the driving factor in determining how much detail you provide.  Just be aware that the more exposure they have to a holiday (e.g. seeing Christmas trees on sale everywhere, lights decorating houses, friends talking about what presents they asked for/received, friends saying they can't eat because of the holiday, etc.), the more questions they are likely to ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T13:53:30.527" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2011-12-19T14:10:53.500" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answer -watch your kid. Every kid might need something different. You know your kids. Strangers don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On this don't lie to your kids thing ---Seriously?  There is an age range where magical thinking is good for kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Santa? I figured out it didn't make sense when I was 4, though I didn't tell anyone and staged an elaborate catch the parents trap to obtain proof, y'know, just in case.  My little brother didn't figure  it out until he was 8.5.  I don't know when my older brothers and sister figured it out because they faked it until my little brother caught on.   (Strangely, I didn't figure out the tooth fairy until I was 8 and my brother never believed that one!  The logistics bothered me less.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of us thought our parents were liars.  Maybe if they tried to stretch it on past when we didn't believe... but I don't know.  We thought it was cool that we could have played a game, and I look back with fond memories of believing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have never said to my daughter Santa is real, because I wasn't sure at first whether to because of what I heard others felt about it.  I did a lot of reading on child development and the experts agree at ages 2-6 it's good for them (Upper age may vary by kids developmental stage).  At two, she started asking about the images of Santa, and I asked What do you think?  She had some great explanations and it is great fun.  She has already at 3 wondered how Santa could visit every house, and it led us down a path of learning different Christmas traditions and who celebrates and who doesn't, and which regions celebrate Santa on a different day.  She loves the fun of it and the challenge of thinking why. At 3 she has thought of some things that I never would have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never have told her monsters aren't real either; we just thought together on how to deal with them and the girl is fearless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she's old enough that her answers to how something happens isn't positive/magical and she doubts on her own, I won't push it, I will let her come to her conclusion.  Forcing adult thinking on a child who needs to indulge a certain developmental part of themselves is just selfish and acting superior about it is ridiculous.  I suspect it might happen before 6 for my daughter because she is extremely bright and inquisitive, but it will happen when it happens and I will not steal the fun away earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get me wrong, maybe some kids are better with it never being &quot;real.&quot;  You know your kid. You decide. But don't act like you know what every other kid needs, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My ex is an atheist and while he is going along with Santa because he remembered it fondly, he told her out right Jesus isn't real.  She came home crying - not because I lied to her, but because she wanted to believe.  (I am a Christian and I told her people can believe different things and there is nothing wrong with that, but to go with what she feels in her heart is true, and she is much happier)  He thought his parents telling him about Jesus when it never made sense to him was this horrible thing, and it never occurred to him to watch his daughter instead of his own biases.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1990" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T14:10:53.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3719" CreationDate="2011-12-19T17:30:19.093" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-yr. old son just received two of these games the other day as early Christmas presents. Believe me, they are much safer than the Nerf darts normally whizzing through the air at our house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let kids be kids. Get them the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1992" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T17:30:19.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3731" CreationDate="2011-12-19T17:48:46.647" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At least in the state of Michigan, culture is a component of the first grade curriculum. It is seen as a developmentally appropriate time to start understanding other cultures. I know the first grade teachers and I work diligently to find resources to help teach first grade students about cultures and holidays. Most public libraries in the US have a section that address this topic - ask your children's librarian if they have books at the right level to share them with your children, in a Dewey classified library you will be looking in the 390s. I know we not only focus on different holidays but also how different cultures celebrate the same holiday - Christmas for a Catholic is not the same as the secular Christmas in the US, etc. I am always impressed by the teachers at my school because they search out people who belong to different cultures to come in and share some things with the students. Another great place to start with your children is fairy tales and folk lore as well as picture books - Patricia Polacco comes to mind for exploring Jewish culture in a Christian heavy environment, she is an author and illustrator who writes realistic fiction often based on her own life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know many public libraries have programs throughout the year that address different cultures and holidays that are geared to children - we are going to a Winter Solstice Celebration for children at our library tomorrow because we believe it is never too early to begin exposing our daughter to different holidays and cultures. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="1537" LastEditDate="2011-12-19T19:20:39.667" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T19:20:39.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3683" CreationDate="2011-12-19T18:19:44.320" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing we learned quickly is to have the new diaper already under the old one before removing it, remove the old one and then the time to getting the new one on is greatly reduced which may help you beat the open air peeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T18:19:44.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3726" CreationDate="2011-12-19T18:58:31.617" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rocking = comforting = that should be something we parents can always try to give.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our kids, bouncing/rocking was a part of it, later moving towards back rubs. When they were 1 year old or so, yes, there were nights I loathed having to lie there for 20 minutes rubbing their back waiting for them to go to sleep. But, of course, now that they are older, I miss those times and the kids seem no worse for the wear (nor demanding backrubs). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T18:58:31.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3741" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-19T19:50:00.117" Score="4" ViewCount="188" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got the Poppin' Park Elefun Busy Ball Poppers toy. Our daughter loves the toy and it is really encouraging her to crawl and even to work on getting from her tummy to sitting to put the balls back in. I think it is a great toy, however it is VERY loud. I am not talking about the music, that does not bother me, the fan to blow the balls out is so loud that it quickly annoys me and drowns out that there even is music. I find myself wanting to take the toy away but she really has not been interested enough in anything else to try to get back to sitting once she goes to her tummy. Any suggestions for how to balance what seem to be some developmental benefits with the annoyance of the toy? Are there ways to encourage her to play with the toy and work on getting back to sitting without the noise of the fan?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T10:02:43.473" Title="Balancing toy interest and value with noise" Tags="|infant|development|toys|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3742" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-19T20:26:55.183" Score="3" ViewCount="3249" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both playdates and family time are extremely important to the growth, maturity, and well being of children.  That being said how do you balance playdates and family time given the limited time we have for either once our kids are in school?  Are there any studies that speak to this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-12-20T00:44:51.223" LastActivityDate="2014-07-12T16:34:03.037" Title="How do you balance time for playdates vs family time?" Tags="|social-development|family-activities|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3726" CreationDate="2011-12-19T22:47:48.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, they grow out of it.  The swaddling is the first to go as they start crawling and want their hands free.  Then around the time they are walking and able to climb on and off your lap, they start squirming too much for rocking to be relaxing, unless they are sick or otherwise exhausted.  Enjoy it while you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the heaviness issue, you just need to change the way you hold her so her weight is either higher up on your shoulder, on your lap, or on the armrest of a chair.  I like to seat them on my left leg with their legs sticking out, then they bend forward and lay their head on my left arm, and I rest my hand on my leg.  People think it looks funny, but it's very comfortable for long periods of time, for both of us, because all the weight is supported by my leg.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T22:47:48.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3683" CreationDate="2011-12-19T23:06:08.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One charming product that helps meets the need is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias=baby-products&amp;amp;field-keywords=Peepee%20Teepee&amp;amp;x=26&amp;amp;y=17&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Peepee Teepee&lt;/a&gt;. Any cloth will work. We used fabric diapers as burp cloths and pee shields.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T23:06:08.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3742" CreationDate="2011-12-19T23:21:39.867" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found, by experience, that the best family time is the daily meal time. Set a time that suites everyone's schedule. Stretch the meal to include dessert. Open non-controversial discussions. Give chance to everyone to talk about their day. You want everyone to look forward to it. In short, make it a quality family time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the fixed daily time, there are many opportunities for one-on-one interfaces. Examples are driving to and from school, helping with the homework, and discussing personal topics with each individual. Critical and controversial subjects are better handled during one-on-one sessions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also weekly opportunities in the weekend for family activities. This is not regular because it depends on every individual's responsibilities and interest. Family meetings to discuss and make decisions on family matters can be held in the weekend. Hobbies shared between family members brings them together. Also attending children school events are available opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Playdate is a non-structured time where children spend time together. If there are children of the same age living close by, it is very easy for them to get together. Parents do not have to drive. Arrangement between parents to rotate the visitation is recommended. However, if there is no one close by, children can gather in one home after school. This can be part of carpooling arrangement. Playdates do not have to be every day, although children may like it to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, every school day has the following scheduled activities:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;School&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Playdate&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Homework&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Meal time (dinner)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The order of the events depends on the circumstances. Some children go to school afternoon, in this case plydates may be before school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-19T23:21:39.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3731" CreationDate="2011-12-20T00:20:02.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer to your question becomes very easy if you take the events out of the religious context and into historic stories. These can be taught from very early age. They can be later expanded and deepened as the children grow older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, Jesus Christ is a person that had a life story that can be told to very young children. Because he was a great person, a lot of people celebrate his birthday. Avoid talking about theology until children are older. This way we are talking about history not religion. History, in the form of stories, is much easier to understand by all ages. This same example applies to Moses, Mohamed, and all other prophets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rituals practiced by different people are historic and cultural. When you talk to a very young child, use expressions like &quot;long time ago&quot; and &quot;in far land&quot;. Kids are fascinated with these stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When children understand the concept of calendar, we can explain why there are more than one New Year. We can explain to them that older events are celebrated according to older calendars. Also some events follow solar calendar while others follow lunar calendar. Again all this in the context of historic stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same concept of historic stories should be used to explain the history of our own family. This is important for the children to understand why we have practices different from our neighbors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T00:20:02.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3741" CreationDate="2011-12-20T10:02:43.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, once Pandora's box has been opened, and a noisy tool has been discovered inside, there is no turning back...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking a new toy away from a baby can be quite difficult, and is prone to raise even higher levels of noise, because the baby will complain loudly. On the other hand, a new toy gets old rather quickly, so after a few days your child's attention will be focused on other toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice: Live through it, it will be over soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T10:02:43.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3748" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-20T14:21:50.683" Score="11" ViewCount="10387" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 20-month-old daughter, given the opportunity, will stuff her cheeks full of food she likes (especially cheese, raisins, or green beans) to the point where it's difficult for her to chew or swallow.  When this happens, she'll work on the food for a little while and then remove it by hand and give it to me (at least she doesn't throw it or drop it.  :-) )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She definitely likes the food; given one or two pieces at a time, she will devour them without stuffing them in her cheeks.  Obviously, I can control the amount I give her at a time, but this is probably not a long-term solution.  How can I encourage her to only take a little bit at a time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="31" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-23T12:10:49.717" LastActivityDate="2019-07-23T12:10:49.717" Title="How do I teach my toddler not to stuff her cheeks with food?" Tags="|toddler|eating|habits|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3742" CreationDate="2011-12-20T15:23:16.293" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would consider why you are organizing play dates. If your children are in school, they have play/social time. Depending on their age, this is less once they are in secondary schools. I think it is important to consider the desired outcome from each interaction. I personally would argue that family time is more important than play dates. I think dinner as a family is essential - every day. I think it is also essential to have family evenings where there are no other events. It becomes tempting as children get older to get them involved in more and more tempting to get your children involved in activities, I would recommend limiting the activities. I notice more and more kids are over scheduled and have minimal time to just be kids and interact with their family. You mention having 4 children, I am one of 5 and we played with each other more often than playing with others and we continue to be close and spend time together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel that your children need play dates for what ever reason, I would either limit the number per week, or perhaps limit to between school and dinner only. Somehow keep the time to a pre-determined limit and do not let play dates or other things interfere with scheduled family time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T15:23:16.293" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3748" CreationDate="2011-12-20T15:40:31.503" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You stated the first answer, only give her a little bit at a time.  I wouldn't worry about it being a long term solution, make a big deal at some age (2 years?)that now she is old enough to put the right amount in her food so you will give her a full plate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hear, however, that you do not like this solution.  Another option is to be vigilant watching her eat and say to her, that is enough in your mouth please chew and swallow.  If needed gently hold her fork or spoon down so she won't take more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea is to simply limit those foods on her plate and give her more of other things which she eats slower.  This will also teach her to eat other foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T15:40:31.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3702" CreationDate="2011-12-20T15:41:35.203" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although it is perfectly normal, if it continues and spreads to other tactile issues, I would watch it closely. There are some issues, such as ASD that can be indicated by tactile issues. I think we all have things that we don't like touching - sticky, dirty, itchy, etc. but if there is an excessive amount of issues like that in addition to wanting to be naked, talk with your pediatrician. If it is just a love of being free and it is not cold, I think the other comments cover it quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T15:41:35.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3742" CreationDate="2011-12-20T17:23:49.280" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe I can approach the question in a broader sense. In suburban America we have built a community that does not meet our needs. To get anywhere we have to drive. For children, schools are out of walking distance, friends from school can be further than that, and parents don't trust children to bicycle on neighborhood roads. We spend so much time driving that we lose the time we need to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In one example I've come across; a child's karate class was less than 1/8 mile away from their home (in a straight line) but to get there his mother had to drive out of their neighborhood, down to the major streets,  through 2 red light intersections, do a u-turn, and pull into the karate building's parking lot. A 5 minute walk has been turned into a 12 min drive, each way. For a one hour karate class his mom drives for almost an hour to drop him off and pick him up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here's my answer to your question: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are often tempted to treat our children's time as something to be optimized. We have this feeling that by including the most high value experiences into each day they will grow up to be... what? Instead of optimizing our children’s time, let’s work on optimizing the richness of their environment. Get to know your neighbors and their children. Work to utilize, improve, and expand your neighborhood assets; parks, libraries, schools, community centers, vacant land, front yards, and streets. Plant fruit trees in the front yard, build a garden and recruit neighbor kids to work it with your kids, build bicycle ramps, or close the street for a block party. Get back time for family and friends by making the place you live the place you want to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the long term, the above suggestions will give your children time for unstructured play, exposure to adult role models, and more time with the family. In the short term, I think, focus on time with family and let your children remind you when they want to play with their friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T17:23:49.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3726" CreationDate="2011-12-20T19:01:59.960" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a bit of a different opinion than the others on this. I believe that rocking like many things does in fact create an association and a dependence on it. Infancy is a time when many habits and associations are made. You just need to figure out the ones that are positive, neutral and negative based on your own values as parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, we gave our daughter lots of fruits and vegetables when she first starting eating solids and I believe this contributed to her continuing to enjoy this nutritious food as she got older, as opposed to some of our friends who were constantly giving their children cookies, pasta and french fries with ketchup - sure enough you try to give these children broccoli or pears and they hate it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting back to rocking, we did some of it early on but did not rock to sleep and instead let her fall asleep by herself in her bassinet/crib. She has now turned out to be a great sleeper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My recommendation is, as they say, to &quot;start how you mean to go on&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1486" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T19:01:59.960" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3754" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3804" CreationDate="2011-12-20T19:05:34.980" Score="6" ViewCount="1925" Body="&lt;p&gt;A second grade teacher of a friend of my daughter taught her class that Columbus was not a nice man, and explained why.  My daughter was not affected by this teaching. However, it brought up the question of what should I do when/if this happens to my daughter?  Whether or not Columbus was a nice man, second grade is not the time to teach this and therefore I disagree with the teacher.  What should I do should this happen in a class my child is in?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-26T20:40:44.980" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T02:03:46.283" Title="How should I handle academic disagreement with a teacher?" Tags="|education|teacher|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3755" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3762" CreationDate="2011-12-20T19:09:44.847" Score="3" ViewCount="1653" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is in second grade and is learning spelling.  The teacher puts a lot of emphasis on alphabetizing words.  I don't see the academic value in this, especially now that people, for the most part, don't use dictionaries but use the internet instead.  How should I handle the work I think is a waste when my daughter brings it home for homework? How should I speak to the teacher about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-12-20T19:41:42.610" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T16:39:27.480" Title="I don't like my child's teacher's teaching style" Tags="|education|teacher|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3754" CreationDate="2011-12-20T19:13:48.833" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's fine to disagree with a teacher. And even fine to bring it up with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you disagree with curriculum and facts, then that's a whole other issue and you have two options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) run for school board and try to push your agenda&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) pull your kids out of public school and find a school that adheres to your own belief system&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T19:13:48.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3755" CreationDate="2011-12-20T19:54:12.107" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As DA01 mentioned above, public education will generally not please every parent, 100% of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your concern is about teaching material you think is &lt;em&gt;incorrect&lt;/em&gt;, then the advice present in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1026/how-do-you-handle-a-teacher-that-teaches-pseudo-science&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; will likely be applicable to some extent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in this case, you seem to be objecting to just &lt;em&gt;how important&lt;/em&gt; a particular skill is to learn.  In that case, quite frankly you don't have a lot of options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your choices essentially boil down to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;See if there is another teacher at the school who covers the same subject, but with a different emphasis that you find more in keeping with your personal priorities, and find out if you can transfer your child to that instructor's class.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look for another school that has an emphasis that matches your priorities and move/transfer there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell your child that they don't have to do the work because you think it is a waste of time, and support them through the consequences of bad grades.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain to your child that you don't feel that the work is important, but point out how there may be many times in their life that they will have to perform tasks that don't seem particularly important or fun, and that learning how to do those tasks anyway is an important skill.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Support the teacher's decisions and priorities in favor of passing on good study habits to your child, rather than making an issue out of your personal educational preferences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite frankly, I think the third option is a terrible choice, and in your case the chances of finding other teachers or schools that don't think that learning the basics of spelling or alphabetization are important because &quot;the Internet does that for us now&quot; are (hopefully) slim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T19:54:12.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3754" CreationDate="2011-12-20T20:04:54.553" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your concern is about a teacher mixing opinion with the teaching material.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the teacher is presenting an opinion you disagree with, then you can raise the issue with them directly.  I would suggest starting off by saying whether or not your agree with their opinion is not the issue, but rather that you are concerned that the opinion expressed is not appropriate for the child's age, and that you would request that the teacher focus instead on the facts and a neutral, unbiased outlook.  Using your example, you could point out that they don't need to portray Columbus as a hero, but merely avoid going out of their way to make him look like a villain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While not quite the same as your scenario, the steps of documentation and escalation &lt;a href=&quot;http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=4504&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;described in this blog&lt;/a&gt; may be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-12-28T02:03:46.283" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T02:03:46.283" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3760" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-20T20:28:13.813" Score="0" ViewCount="604" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3754/disagreement-academically-with-a-teacher&quot;&gt;Disagreement, academically, with a teacher&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I voted to close my last to, similar questions, as they seemed to not explain themselves well enough to get the answers I was looking for. Please vote to close them so that they will close out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, how do I deal with my child and her teacher when I disagree with the teacher?  What do I say to my child?  What do I say to the teacher?  When should I go to an administrator?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T21:26:42.353" Title="Disagreeing with a teacher" Tags="|education|teacher|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2011-12-21T01:40:55.457" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3760" CreationDate="2011-12-20T21:26:42.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Part 1: Teachers are like second parents&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like it or not, a teacher is like a second parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll find children coming home with new expressions, and peculiar ways of phrasing things.  For example, one teacher would identify &amp;quot;parents&amp;quot; as &amp;quot;mommy-daddy&amp;quot;, (spoken just like that, without an &amp;quot;and&amp;quot; in the middle.)  The teacher is just teaching the way she knows how, and the children pick it up, like lint brushes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point is, children &lt;em&gt;learn a lot&lt;/em&gt; from teachers, right down to the way they speak.  Sometimes it's irritating, but generally not a big deal.  I'll get to this point later, but &lt;strong&gt;you cannot control every influence&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teachers &lt;strong&gt;should not&lt;/strong&gt; teach religious viewpoints and so on.  (There must be a guideline for what is and is not appropriate for a teacher to say in terms of &lt;em&gt;passing judgements&lt;/em&gt; and talking about belief systems.)  But invariably, when it comes to later (high school) classes like English literature, &lt;em&gt;the teacher tends to bring out and teach their beliefs&lt;/em&gt;.  This is just what these subjects are, and &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; teachers cannot help but explain things the way he/she sees it - ie interleaving their personal viewpoint with the teaching material.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unavoidable&lt;/strong&gt;, unless you're willing to bubble them in your own community (which works fine!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a certain line in public schooling which must not be crossed however, and you can generally draw that line &lt;em&gt;where it offends you&lt;/em&gt;.  Say the teacher teaches &amp;quot;people with names ending in &lt;em&gt;man&lt;/em&gt; are gonna be .. JEWISH!!!!&amp;quot; That might offend you, so you can go and complain to the principal and whatnot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Part 2: Letting go&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people won't agree with this section, but I think it is very truly important.  Coming from an at least somewhat religious background, usually dictates &lt;em&gt;maintaining certain views&lt;/em&gt; on certain things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Favorite topics like gay marriage, or what Christmas is really about, or who's going to hell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly believe you have to let your child become who they want to be, &lt;em&gt;as long as it's within certain acceptable parameters&lt;/em&gt;.  (For example, you &lt;em&gt;do not&lt;/em&gt; want them to become a drug addict and drop out of school. Reasonable.)  But does your child have to hold &lt;em&gt;your exact same views&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;exact same beliefs about the world&lt;/em&gt;?  Or are they free to form their own?  If you are very traditionally religious, the answer is &amp;quot;&lt;strong&gt;absolutely not&lt;/strong&gt; they must follow in my footsteps or they will be doomed.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about that, and realize &lt;strong&gt;you cannot control every influence&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you ever played a game, like a space game controlling a massive ship, where the games controls do not respond well to too much micro-control?  If you try to micromanage the ship's movement, you'll completely exhaust yourself, and the ship may crash.  But if you give small, careful controls, then it will fly just fine, you just have to keep watching it and applying those small adjustments as it flies, or responding to emergencies if the ship goes really far off course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's kind of like that.  You cannot microcontrol human beings, you cannot have perception of their every influence, you cannot be there to tell them &lt;em&gt;what is right and wrong&lt;/em&gt; for every input that reaches their ears and mind.  You need to &lt;em&gt;let go&lt;/em&gt; and let them become who they will be, but pay close attention to what's going on and exert corrective &amp;quot;forces&amp;quot; when necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will leave definition of the term &lt;strong&gt;&amp;quot;corrective forces&amp;quot;&lt;/strong&gt; up to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T21:26:42.353" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3755" CreationDate="2011-12-20T22:56:25.997" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of teaching seems to be &quot;one size fits all.&quot; The techniques that work in general may not necessarily work well with your child, but I dare say there is some logic behind it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is just finishing year 4 and her spelling word homework includes things like &quot;which word contains another word that means home.&quot; These are particularly annoying and time consuming but the reason is it included is to get the child to spend time looking at each word in details. As it turns out, my daughter does not need this so it is just a waste of time. In this case, I will sometimes let her skip it since it does not add to the educational value of the work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would think that alphabetising the words has a similar purpose - to get the children to examine the words in detail. Obviously, with homework you can extend it to make the lessons more appropriate for your child's skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was the easy bit since we have partial control over homework. The harder bit is having an influence on what is taught in class. My daughter is very good at language (about 6 years ahead of her chronological age). She is put in the top maths and english groups but for many assignments she performs roughly the same classwork as the other kids. She really needs specialised assignments to stretch her. We have spoken to the teacher about this and not had much luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For her next year, we have requested that she be given a teacher who would match her needs. Until then, we've just had to suck it up :-(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-12-20T22:56:25.997" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3755" CreationDate="2011-12-21T02:54:10.810" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to begin by tempering my answering by saying that I quite literally saw red when I read that alphabetizing is not important because we do not use dictionaries, we just use the internet. As a Library Media Specialist, one of the greatest weaknesses I see day in and day out is that students have no idea how to alphabetize. They are literally unable to find the book they want because they do not know that Ac comes after Ab and before Ad. Additionally, there are times in the educational setting that they indeed will use a dictionary unless your child attends a very privileged school that has a computer devoted to each student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, there are time that alphabetizing is important - what if in college your child has the opportunity to work in an office and they cannot file things because hey have no concept of alphabetization. Finally, it is a developmental benchmark. Often an inability to alphabetize can be indicative of a learning disability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, while you personally seem to find this task a waste of time, it is a well thought out task that should serve your child well in life. Times it may impact them: if they ever encounter an index in a book, corporate filing cabinets, perhaps a glossary or if they ever consider finding a book in a library. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In parting, by all means, question things you do not agree with that happens at school, but be aware that much though goes into lessons and tasks asked of students and very little of it is busy work or worthless. I strongly suggest that you privately ask the teacher without attacking them and listen to their answer. If it is something that is not going to change and it is not hurtful to your child, support the teacher. Help your child be a respectful student and learn tasks that might not seem clear at the moment, but may come clear and useful down the line. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T02:54:10.810" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3754" CreationDate="2011-12-21T03:03:54.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can always home school your children. Then you have total control of everything they learn or don't learn. It is honestly your only option to control their education in totality. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T03:03:54.617" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3755" CreationDate="2011-12-21T03:44:26.343" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The teacher and the school have the authority to select teaching styles. Parents should be able to propose a different style. The proposed style may be for one specific student or for the class. Depending on the relationship between the parent and the teacher, the approach may be formal or informal.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please remember that the relationship with the teachers and the school is extremely important for the overall best interest of our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a formal approach for completeness:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Before talking to the teacher, parents need to investigate the pros and cons of the current and proposed styles. This can be achieved by &#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;searching the internet,&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;searching the local library,&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talking to other teachers and education specialists preferably not in the same school, or&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;posting a question on the internet about comparing both styles.&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If after step 1 the parent is still convinced of changing the style, then a meeting between the parents of the affected children may be held. Parents would discuss the pros and cons of each style and try to reach an agreement.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If enough number of parents are in favor of requesting a change, parents may prepare a brief summary of their request supported by pros and cons of each style. One or more parents may arrange for a meeting with the teacher.  The discussion may follow the following agenda:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brief the teacher about the purpose of the meeting.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the teacher to explain the rationale behind the current style.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Solicit the teacher’s opinion of the proposed style.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carry on the discussion with the goal of convincing the teacher.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Thank the teacher for meeting and discussing the subject.&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;The outcome of the teacher’s meeting could be one of the following:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The teacher agrees to the proposal. &#xA;&lt;li&gt;The teacher promises to consider the proposal and respond later. &#xA;&lt;li&gt;The teacher refuses the proposal. &#xA;&lt;li&gt;The teacher convinces the parents that the current style is better than the proposed.&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the teacher refuses the proposal or does not respond in a reasonable time and the parents still believe that the change is in the best interest of the children,  a meeting with the principal may be effective. The meeting may be conducted in the same manner as the teacher’s meeting. The next step after the principal is the school district.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If all fails, activism is the last resort.&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, the proposal can be accepted informally while maintaining good parents-teacher relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T03:44:26.343" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3754" CreationDate="2011-12-21T04:54:11.690" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a very important and critical topic. It questions the education philosophy. The topic is about the definition of a &quot;teacher&quot;. Is the teacher a facilitator helping the students read a book? Or the teacher is an educated thinker providing students with deeper understanding of the world? How much freedom should a teacher has to convey knowledge to the students? Are  there other people more qualified than the teacher to control what the teacher says? How do we qualify those people? who qualifies them? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe in the parent's right to manage the education of the child. However, I argue that it must be macro-managed rather than micro-managed. This is because the parent may not have the knowledge, expertise, the ability, or the time to define the details of what the child should learn. This task is better be given to the specialists. What a parent can do is determine the broader curriculum and teacher requirements. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parent has the right to determine the cultural values the child is exposed to. This is achieved by selecting the society to live in, the people to interact with, and certainly the teachers. Once the teacher is accepted, we must give the teacher the freedom to convey his/her knowledge, experience, thoughts to the child. This provides the child with wholesome eduction. The teacher should not be stuttering of fear to say something that may not be acceptable. It is unrealistic to think that we can predefine everything for the teacher to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if the &quot;accepted&quot; teacher's opinion on a specific topic conflicts with the parent, or the school administrator, or some government official? The answer to this questions depends on the culture and the political system. In a free democratic society, the teacher should have the freedom to teach. The teacher's reputation defines his/her market. The parents can compensate for those specifics by exposing the child to other opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we can enforce on the teacher is not to grade a student based on an opinion. If the student has a logically presented argument, the teacher must accept it. A qualified teacher should know the difference between facts and opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, most current education systems do not allow parents the freedom of selecting teachers. This is what needs to be changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T04:54:11.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3767" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3775" CreationDate="2011-12-21T05:12:28.680" Score="1" ViewCount="1392" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter just turned two, and we have a few flights coming up. She has flown many times in our laps, and this will be the first time she has her own seat. She is usually comfortable in her car seat in the car, but I'm concerned about whether there will be enough space for the car seat and if it will feel different enough to her on a plane that it causes frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously if the plane goes down we're all hosed, but are the risks from turbulence enough that we should definitely use the seat on the plane?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="667" LastActivityDate="2017-04-15T13:06:44.793" Title="Should we use our (convertible) car seat when flying with our two-year old?" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3768" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-21T07:50:07.800" Score="10" ViewCount="1779" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that our daughter is not so fond of most foods.  She is fond of milk though - any kind of milk, cow, goat, even soy. While eating I get the feeling she is bored. She eats very slowly and not all the foods. Actually very few. So, in order to eat, we got into the bad habit of playing at the same time. This started at a very young age. When I say &quot;playing&quot; I mean &quot;playing together&quot;. This slows eating a lot. Yesterday it took her 1.5 hours to finish her food and at the same time we finished a nice Lego construction with a semi-complicated story in between bites.  The story included castles, dragons, knights, and a princess. Maybe I am bit over the edge, but you see my point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, if there is no playing she doesn't want to eat (thus, she doesn't eat at school). Strange is that she can eat by herself when in company of her cousins and eat all together (safe space?). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is, how can I make my daughter eat by herself without us being there playing with her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1666" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T20:50:28.073" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T20:50:28.073" Title="How can I encourage my 4.5 year old daughter to eat without needing tons of time along with play?" Tags="|behavior|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3769" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3772" CreationDate="2011-12-21T09:58:17.660" Score="31" ViewCount="236698" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I use our TV to watch shows and streaming movies. Our 2 month old daughter is sometimes drawn to the TV and will turn her head towards it and will 'focus' on it. I know that their eye sight is not developed to the point where they can really watch it. But perhaps the moving shapes and the sounds pique the interest for her growing brain and senses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is TV harmful at all to my infant's development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also want to clarify that we are always interacting with the baby, except when she is asleep, or when we're trying to cook dinner. So, we're not neglecting the baby and depriving her of social interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-28T03:41:32.333" LastActivityDate="2020-08-28T03:41:32.333" Title="Is TV harmful to my infant's development?" Tags="|infant|development|social-development|television|screen-time|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3768" CreationDate="2011-12-21T13:15:27.790" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem with my son (who is now 3.5 years old).  We knew that sitting down to eat was a good habit to practice, so we started eating at the table frequently. He resisted, so we tried to make it fun by having him help us get food ready and then &quot;playing&quot; with his food. He would build potato towers and knock them down by eating them, for instance. That might work for you; it back-fired for us. He became more interested in playing than eating. Then, because he didn't want to sit still and eat, sitting down to dinner became a struggle. However, he would easily eat at his cousin's house because he was distracted and would eat without thinking about it because that was what everyone else was doing.  There was no focus on behaving correctly, so he wasn't thinking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we finally did that worked (after a few difficult days) was to sit at the table and eat for a fixed time. No toys at the table, and we didn't give much attention to him playing with his food. (If he wanted to, that was fine.) We talked about our day and told stories and came up with plans for what to do tomorrow. We didn't discuss eating or not eating. We told him when there were only ten minutes left, and when time was up, we said &quot;Dinnertime is over. It's time to [whatever we were doing next, like play a game].&quot; We picked up the dishes, and that was it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first two nights he had another, shorter opportunity to eat again before bed (so he wouldn't be hungry). After that, he caught on pretty quickly that eating time was for eating (we have relatively routine meal and snack times) and he got much better (but not perfect) at eating without dillydallying.  He still helps us set the table and prepare the food and sometimes he gets to pick what we have for dinner. We are happier, and so is he.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T13:15:27.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2011-12-21T13:31:01.843" Score="41" Body="&lt;p&gt;In summary, research findings to date might suggest a correlation between television viewing and developmental problems, but they cannot show causality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/1040.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;no evidence&lt;/a&gt; that television, even educational programming, has any positive effect on children younger than 2 years old.  In fact, some studies suggest it may be harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the above AAP media release:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be beneficial, children need to understand the content of programs and pay attention to it. Children older than 2 years and those younger than 2 years are at different levels of cognitive development and process information differently.&lt;sup&gt;10&lt;/sup&gt; In fact, 2 studies have found that watching a program such as “Sesame Street” has a negative effect on language for children younger than 2 years,&lt;sup&gt;11,12&lt;/sup&gt; and 2 studies have found no evidence of benefit.&lt;sup&gt;13,14&lt;/sup&gt; There is a paucity of research on this topic, but the existing literature suggests that media use does not promote language skills in this age group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Studies have shown that children under the age of 2 generally do not understand what is being shown on television, and, while there is conflicting information on whether or not they can learn anything useful from television, even the studies that show some learning indicate that the learning is less than would be obtained from comparable &amp;quot;live&amp;quot; interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The concerns are stronger in the area of language development.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;TED talk&lt;/a&gt; describes how minimal the impact of television on a toddler's language development is (2% as effective as a real person).  In addition, a television being on generally reduces the amount of language interactions the baby has with the parents, as, at best, both the baby and the parents will be distracted by the television, and at worst the parents will use the television as an opportunity to engage in activities that do not involve the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again from the AAP media release:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A study that examined 12-, 24-, and 36-month-olds found that background television not only reduced the length of time that a child played but also that it reduced the child's focused attention during play.&lt;sup&gt;34&lt;/sup&gt; Children stop to look at a televised program, halt their ongoing play, and move on to a different activity after the interruption.&lt;sup&gt;34&lt;/sup&gt; Although most research has been performed on adolescents, study results suggest that background media might interfere with cognitive processing, memory, and reading comprehension.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only 1 research study, conducted in 1996, resulted in evidence to the contrary. In that study, 10-month-old infants tuned out surrounding noise and concentrated more during play.&lt;sup&gt;37&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More study results:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children younger than 5 years who watch television spend less time in creative play and less time interacting with parents or siblings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For every hour of television that a child younger than 2 years watches alone, he or she spends an additional 52 minutes less time per day interacting with a parent or sibling.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For every hour of television, there is 9% less time on weekdays and 11% less time on weekends spent in creative play for a child younger than 2 years.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;However, children who live in households with heavy media use spend between 25% (for 3- to 4-year-olds) and 38% (for 5- to 6-year-olds) less time being read to or reading.&lt;sup&gt;3,4&lt;/sup&gt; These children have a lower likelihood of being able to read compared with their peers from households with low media use.&lt;sup&gt;4&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Although parents perceive a televised program to be a calming sleep aid, some programs actually increase bedtime resistance, delay the onset of sleep, cause anxiety about falling asleep, and shorten sleep duration.&lt;sup&gt;41&lt;/sup&gt; Specifically, in children younger than 3 years, television viewing is associated with irregular sleep schedules.&lt;sup&gt;42&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since 1999, 3 studies have evaluated the effects of heavy television use on language development in children 8 to 16 months of age. In the short-term, children younger than 2 years who watch more television or videos have expressive language delays,&lt;sup&gt;12,43,44&lt;/sup&gt; and children younger than 1 year with heavy television viewing who are watching alone have a significantly higher chance of having a language delay.&lt;sup&gt;44&lt;/sup&gt; Although the long-term effects on language skills remain unknown, the evidence of short-term effects is concerning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T17:01:59.407" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3768" CreationDate="2011-12-21T13:48:35.533" Score="6" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be sure to eat as a family&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no toys at the table&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have conversations, not necessarily all with your child, demonstrate how to have conversations by speaking to others at the table as well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your child won't starve&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;limit the milk for the hour or so before a meal so she is not full of liquid&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you are giving snacks, limit them for the hour before the meal&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;relax, enjoy your dinner and demonstrate for her proper eating&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;put a mental time limit on dinner and then end it, saying dinner is over. (this will allow her, over time to realize she can't dominate your time with dinner)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;play with her AFTER dinner, so she still gets playtime with you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no snacks for the hour and a half after dinner, if she is hungry explain that she didn't eat at the meal and snack will be served at snack time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have all these rules at our table and it has worked with all four kids, all of whom went through a no eating stage (some lasting longer than others)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always remember number 4, children with NOT let themselves starve&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-09-28T14:17:26.680" LastActivityDate="2012-09-28T14:17:26.680" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3767" CreationDate="2011-12-21T13:51:17.073" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Definitely use the car seat on the plane!&lt;/strong&gt;  The buckle on the chair will NOT contain a two year old and therefore the temptation to get up will be too much for her! The airline will require that you put the car seat next to the window so that it will not block escape routes. In terms of the car seat fitting, you do need to go out and research which one is the least wide and use that one. I don't remember which one we got, but it is not the one we are comfortable using on a daily basis as it is difficult to adjust the buckles, however we do use it on vacation so as not to have to bring another car seat with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditDate="2017-04-15T13:06:44.793" LastActivityDate="2017-04-15T13:06:44.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3767" CreationDate="2011-12-21T15:45:49.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your choices depend somewhat on the size of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child needs to be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/airplanetravel.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;at least 40lbs.&lt;/a&gt; in order to safely use the seat belt provided on airplaine if it is snuggly buckled over the hips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is over 20 lbs., and within the safety limits of your seat, she can sit facing forward in the convertible seat.  However, depending on the seat's weight limits, your child can sit rear-facing up until she is 30-35 lbs..  Rear facing &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/airplaneRF.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;is the safest option&lt;/a&gt;, so you should consider that carefully if it is an option for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is an alternative to bringing a car seat if your child is too small to use the seat belt provided by the air plane, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.faa.gov/news/press_releases/news_story.cfm?newsId=7381&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The FAA has approved&lt;/a&gt; a device known as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidsflysafe.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CARES&lt;/a&gt; harness.  This device is approved for children weighing between 22 and 44 pounds.  I haven't tried one, or seen one used, but it certainly seems easier than lugging a car seat onto the plane (many airlines will apparently check children's car seats through baggage free of charge, although with the recent move to charge for most checked luggage, you should check with your airline prior to leaving for the airport).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T15:45:49.033" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3767" CreationDate="2011-12-21T17:03:00.803" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing to keep in mind is that airplane buckles are &lt;em&gt;much easier&lt;/em&gt; to unbuckle than those in cars.  This means it &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; come off when you don't want it to if your child isn't trained not to, and can even come off by accident when she is uncomfortable and squirming.  If your main concern is lugging a car seat around the airport, I highly recommend getting a &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B004L2JJ9G&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;car seat travel bag&lt;/a&gt;.  They have wheels and backpack-style straps that make it easier to manage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T17:03:00.803" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3777" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3779" CreationDate="2011-12-21T17:30:02.517" Score="5" ViewCount="1244" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teaching a young toddler to eat solids can be challenging, particularly when they reach the stage where they want to control the feeding, and insist on feeding themselves.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also messy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lots of food ends up on my son, on me, on my wife, and on the floor.  Much of that is accidental.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 15 months, my son does fairly well now putting food into his mouth (unless it is particularly slippery).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if he decides he no longer wants something that he has in his hand, his typical response is to drop it on the floor (it is almost never dropped on the table).  If he is walking with a snack, and decides he doesn't want it anymore (whether he's just tired of it, or sees something else he wants more, like his bottle), he will pause, and then carefully and deliberately drop it &lt;em&gt;behind&lt;/em&gt; him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has multiple pieces of food available to him, and decides he doesn't want them, he insists on pushing every single piece out of his immediate reach, usually by sweeping his arm across them or brushing vigorously with his hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't throw food, and there doesn't seem to be any element of defiance to his actions.  It is simply &quot;I'm done with this, so I'll drop it/move it away from me&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he old enough to be taught that food should not be dropped on the floor?  We've tried telling him to put it on the table, and the few times he does put food down on the table, or on the plate, we've encouraged him with words, smiles, and clapping, but he doesn't seem to be showing any decrease in the &quot;drop on the floor&quot; behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is old enough to be taught, what are some good techniques for teaching him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-12-21T18:05:42.660" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T20:00:32.727" Title="When can a toddler be taught that dropping unwanted food on the floor is unacceptable?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3778" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3789" CreationDate="2011-12-21T18:03:54.770" Score="10" ViewCount="1704" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15 month old son has &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B004S6DV2G&quot;&gt;Let's Rock Elmo&lt;/a&gt;, which includes drums, microphone, and tambourine for Elmo to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my son has several times decided that he wanted the instrument Elmo was &quot;using&quot; at that moment, and walked over and took them from Elmo (in a couple of instances this involved putting his hand on Elmo's forehead and pushing him over to get at the drums).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While my son seems to understand that Elmo is a toy, and not a small, red, furry person (despite being almost frighteningly articulated), I have to wonder if there would be any benefit in teaching my son to &quot;play nice&quot; and &quot;share&quot; with Elmo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he tries to play with toys that other toddlers or infants are playing with at daycare, we gently tell him &quot;no, such-and-such is playing with that right now.  Let's find you a different toy.&quot;  Should we be doing something similar with Elmo?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My tendency is to say &quot;no, it's just a toy&quot;, but none of the toys I had when I was a kid were anywhere near as lifelike or interactive, and I don't want to set precedent for my son thinking it is okay to just take things others are currently using.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T05:30:14.987" Title="Should I discourage my son from &quot;stealing&quot; toys from Let's Rock Elmo?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|toys|sharing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3777" CreationDate="2011-12-21T18:31:14.510" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, kids stop doing that at around age 3.  However, like anything else, they don't magically know how to do things just because they had a birthday.  You start teaching him now and eventually it catches on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really important not to just say no, but to teach the alternative.  You can't really suppress their instinct to push it away, just redirect it to a more suitable location.  In our family, we say &quot;put it right there&quot; and point to an empty spot on the table near them.  It also helps a lot if you catch him when it looks like he's done, but before he drops the food.  That's easier said than done, but usually there's some sign beforehand like bites slowing down, playing with the food more, or looking distracted or squirmy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T18:31:14.510" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3777" CreationDate="2011-12-21T20:00:32.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He is not to young.  When he drops food on the floor back up his chair so he can not reach the food anymore (are take away the tray if he is still in a highchair).  Say, I guess you are finished with dinner if you are putting food on the floor.  After a few minutes ask him if he would like more dinner and remind him that food does not belong on the floor.  Repeat this every night and every time.  As well, when dinner is over have him clean up the floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T20:00:32.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3778" CreationDate="2011-12-21T20:02:45.610" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;He can't share nicely with Elmo as Elmo won't take turns or offer an instrument when he is done with it.  Instead, explain to your son every time he does it that Elmo is a toy and might break if you treat him this way.  It is not about teaching sharing it is about teaching him to take care of his toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T20:02:45.610" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2011-12-21T20:48:32.230" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder how you know that every time she cries she is hungry.  Try a cycle like this:  Eat, Play, Sleep.  Keep to the schedule for your daughter and you will know when she is hungry and when she wants something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T20:48:32.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="770" CreationDate="2011-12-21T20:48:46.487" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.superbabyfood.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Super Baby Food&lt;/a&gt;. It is chock full of information about what foods to introduce when and why. Also, it contains recipes, menu suggestions, and fun things to do with food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T20:48:46.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="300" CreationDate="2011-12-21T20:56:10.867" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am going to add an answer to another aspect of your question.  Giving dessert after a healthy meal will not give your child an eating disorder.  Teaching your child to eat healthy but the fact that they can eat everything in moderation, even treats, will teach them good food choices and allow them to eat everything.  (Think about yourself, when you can't have something you want it more).  Eating disorders are part self-esteem part depression and only tangentially about the food--keep positive body image in the house and positive outlooks and talk about ALL foods in moderation and that should help ward off eating disorders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-21T20:56:10.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3787" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3788" CreationDate="2011-12-22T04:32:07.613" Score="15" ViewCount="3362" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am sure there are children out there who do like munching on broccolis and feasting on spinach, but most of the children I know don't like veggies. Mine are especially suspicious of anything resembling a vegetable (especially a green one). We never force them, we don't bargain with them and we keep offering them vegetables at every meal (we eat with them and they see us eating lots of fresh veggies). However they refuse to even try (they're 18 months old) and if they are only given vegetables, they'd rather not eat at all that giving it a go. Their diet is otherwise good: they are happy drinking vegetable juice and in general like eating fruits. They also eat wholemeal foods, grains and cereals as well as proteins (meat, fish and dairy products).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering why (my) children don't like vegetables. Why don't they have a natural instinct to eat stuff that is good for their body?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1408" LastActivityDate="2017-08-22T13:06:20.103" Title="Why don't kids like vegetables?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3787" CreationDate="2011-12-22T06:05:56.643" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kid's taste buds get regenerated every seven days on average, while it's much longer for adults. Therefore kids really dislike food with a strong taste (like spinach).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Humans tend to avoid vegetables, which are often bitter, for reasons of evolution: Bitter-tasting foods were often not good for health (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lacerta.de/AS/Bibliografie/BIB_1809.pdf&quot;&gt;Cooper 2002&lt;/a&gt;; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0031938495021248&quot;&gt;Guinard 1996&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we force children to eat vegetables? It is best to choose vegetables they like and as and when they grow up, bring in other vegetables. Forcing children to eat certain foods could develop real dislikes they keep all their lives. For a long time I could not stand canned tomatoes because I was repeatedly forced to eat tomato soup (which I hated).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2003" LastEditorUserId="984" LastEditDate="2011-12-23T15:30:56.573" LastActivityDate="2011-12-23T15:30:56.573" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3778" CreationDate="2011-12-22T09:40:13.610" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's a valid concern, but not very serious at this stage. One thing it's difficult to tell from the question is if your son's focused on Elmo when he's moving him out the way, or if he's focused on the instrument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the latter, then over-excited grabbing at things is pretty normal and harmless for what is basically a bundle of instincts wrapped in a cute shell, but if the former, I'd be more concerned about the fact that he's treating Elmo as a person, but then behaving to him in a way that's wrong to treat people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I'd recommend is just saying something like &quot;Oh, Poor Elmo, I hope you wouldn't do that to someone at nursery!&quot; when he pushes him or takes something off him, which lets him know that the behaviour is inappropriate, even if the target in this case is a toy. Also, when he pushes Elmo over, reach down and put Elmo back in a sitting up position. That way he may start mimicking you (or trying to stop you interfering...) and move Elmo more carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T09:40:13.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2011-12-22T10:38:00.617" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key issue, as noted in Beofett's studies, is that increased TV use is generally a sign of less social interaction. However, it's important to recognise that &quot;Low Media Use&quot; is an abnormal state in most Western countries. If parents are actively avoiding TV use, that's generally a sign that they're going to try harder to read to their children and generally &quot;parent&quot; more. It looks from your question like you're doing this already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should you plonk your kid down in front of the TV while you go off to chat on the phone for half an hour? No. But it doesn't sound like you're doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is watching TV while your kid sits and plays in front of you going to cause your child to grow up with ADD? Probably not, unless you're so fascinated with the TV that you might as well not be there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, the TV is for older children and adults. For small children, it's a fascinating oddity, but so are the mobiles you hang above their cribs, the cat, and their own hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if your child's happily playing and doesn't need your attention and you want to watch something, there's no evidence to suggest that's harmful. It might distract them, but again, at that age, the world is full of distractions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T10:38:00.617" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3787" CreationDate="2011-12-22T14:14:21.377" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My rule is: you can't say you don't like something before having tasted it.&#xA;So children must taste everything they're offered, unless we already agree they hate it.&#xA;Once they've tasted it, it's perfectly OK to refuse.  Surprisingly often, they will change their minds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1435" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T14:14:21.377" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3793" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3796" CreationDate="2011-12-22T14:35:29.303" Score="5" ViewCount="363" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old son has been whining a lot.  We make him rephrase and say it in an appropriate voice, but this has been going on for about a month.  Are there any other ideas of how to handle this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-03T19:09:39.387" LastActivityDate="2012-01-03T19:09:39.387" Title="How can I stop my pre-schooler from whining?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3726" CreationDate="2011-12-22T17:20:35.013" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have noticed in my 10 years of practice that as long as you change the association before it gets too ingrained then the child will adapt within a few days to a new way. I would suggest changing the habit in the 5 to 7 month range. In the meantime enjoy your baby and do what you need to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2006" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T17:20:35.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3603" CreationDate="2011-12-22T17:34:51.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Relaxation exercises before bed can help as well as holding a cork in the front teeth for 1 minute before bed. This relaxes the jaw muscles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely check with a Doctor or Dentist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2006" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T17:34:51.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3793" CreationDate="2011-12-22T17:40:28.103" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mean &lt;em&gt;besides&lt;/em&gt; being consistent and doing your best not to lose patience? :) Even if you are the best parents ever, each child has some growing up they need to do themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that this behavior has lasted a month should not be a concern (except of course that it is really frustrating and wears down your patience I'm sure). The best thing you can do is be consistent and not lost your patience (we all do occasionally, but try to minimize this). If you can do this, it is only a matter of time until your son grows out of this annoying behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as specific techniques, you already mentioned a good one--tell them that you don't understand whining and help them to rephrase their statement/request with proper words and proper tone. When they're whining a lot, it may be tempting just to give in occasionally and succumb to their requests/demands just to make the whining stop. This is where your consistency and patience is needed--don't give in!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son continues to whine repeatedly over a short period of time (a few minutes), then don't feel obligated to correct every single offense. He may be whining to get attention, in which case acknowledging the whining will reinforce the negative behavior. If after a few attempts to correct his tone your child continues to whine, tell him you're going to ignore him until he can talk like a big boy, and then ignore him. If you're lucky, then he may self-correct at this point. However, it's likely that this will induce tantrums occasionally (how to handle tantrums is a question all on its own!)--you will also need patience so you don't answer his tantrum with a tantrum of your own!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you have the right idea, just be consistent, be patient, and don't reinforce the behavior by giving in or getting involved in a drawn-out whine session.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T17:40:28.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3584" CreationDate="2011-12-22T17:54:42.480" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are actually more than 2 methods of teaching a child to sleep through the night. The 2 you mentioned are both considered CIO. There are several variations on this as well as gentler methods such as those based on behavioral fading (Kim West's Good Night Sleep Tight for example)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact is that some children are going to be easy to sleep train with any method. Others may have more challenging temperaments, sensory issues, inconsistent experiences or have another issue that can effect sleep such as allergies, apnea, low weight, feeding issue, reflux and asthma. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleep training should not be attempted before 4.5 months - 6 months + is preferable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not comfortable with a child crying for more than 1 hour straight without being calmed and would not recommend leaving your child in a room alone to cry themselves to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want children to learn sleep skills such as self-soothing, not to exhaust themselves to sleep or give up because no one is responding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whichever method you choose here are some key principles:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;PLEASE keep in mind that if you do not see results in at least 5 days your plan is not working. Stop. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bedtime, naps, environment, managing feeds, bedtime routine etc. are key components for success and to make the process easier.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be consistent&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a good idea to have a clear plan before starting and a clear idea of how you will respond if things don't go as planned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2006" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T17:54:42.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3578" CreationDate="2011-12-22T18:05:52.070" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can do some work during the day around helping him feel comfortable in his room and crib. There are many grounding exercises and activities that can help with this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also start spending more time in his room during the day and even co-sleep in his room at night instead of in yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he has had some positive experiences in his room, you can start a coaching plan. This is basically a sleep training plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need to put him down in his crib awake at this point. It is key for him to know where he is and know how to fall asleep on his own. So that when he gets into a light sleep at night he is not startled because he is in a different location and so that he knows how to get back to sleep. It's a little like you waking up and finding yourself on the kitchen floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend trying one of the gentler sleep coaching methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2006" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T18:05:52.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3787" CreationDate="2011-12-22T20:47:27.260" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some vegetables are quite bitter, and children are sensitive to that taste.  You can cook vegetables with fruit juices, or incorporate them into other food, or mash them, which will hide both the taste and the vegetable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not an answer to your problem, but people weaning their children need to know that introducing a wide range of vegetables early on helps avoid this kind of difficulty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2011-12-22T20:47:27.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3801" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-22T22:37:50.247" Score="4" ViewCount="556" Body="&lt;p&gt;He has started throwing fits like this kid, and screaming.  He also has started to hit and pull hair (not very often, but we have seen this other kid do these things.)  Our son mimics everything.  He looks at someone else to see what he should be doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also seems to gravitate to this kid.  Sometimes the push each other or take toys.  I know a lot of that is normal, but I see bad habits forming, and we are trying to stop them when we see him exhibit them at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have spoken to the teachers about watching these two closer, but it doesn't seem to be making a difference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2008" LastActivityDate="2011-12-23T06:41:37.590" Title="What should we do when our 2.5 year old is being negatively influenced by a kid in his class?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3801" CreationDate="2011-12-23T06:41:37.590" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mimicking the behaviors of others is a natural part of development.  Some children spend a period of time where they don't seem to do anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is trying out different behaviors as a way to understand his relationship with the world around him, which includes other people (other kids, teachers, parents, siblings, strangers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the best pieces of parenting advice I ever heard was this (paraphrased):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Children are the best researchers on the planet.  They experiment with every type of behavior and every variation on that behavior.  What are they researching?  Cause and effect.  Every time your kids misbehave or resist a boundary you've set, they are researching what happens when they do.  That is, they are researching your &lt;em&gt;reaction&lt;/em&gt; to their behavior.  That is why it is vital that you be consistent in your discipline.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found this to be true with my kids.  Often, when one misbehaves, the others will quiet down and watch carefully.  Other times, they seem to research as a team the question, &quot;How does dad handle multiple misbehaviors simultaneously?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is mimicking bad behavior, then calmly and consistently apply the consequences (time out, lock down, removal from the play arena, or whatever).  Soon, your son will have learned this bit of cause and effect and go on to research another fascinating (translation: aggravating) aspect of his world.  For a while...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;then he'll come back to this question to see if a passage of time has changed the cause and effect relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Welcome to parenthood!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1950" LastActivityDate="2011-12-23T06:41:37.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="770" CreationDate="2011-12-23T15:48:02.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;With the usual disclaimer of &quot;Ask you medical professional&quot; our experience has been that around 6 months is when we started introducing more foods to our children's diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One important thing is to introduce one food item at a time so that if you do see any adverse reaction you know what caused it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2011-12-23T15:48:02.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3754" CreationDate="2011-12-23T17:47:14.433" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teach your children to think critically about what they are taught&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way it will matter less what they are taught at school. You can present your view at home, and they can make a logical decision on which they accept. Of course this has the downside (if you consider it a downside, I personally do not) that your child will also begin to question what you tell them. But you will not be there forever, and it is much more important that they learn how to interpret and evaluate information for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1552" LastActivityDate="2011-12-23T17:47:14.433" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3572" CreationDate="2011-12-23T18:26:24.917" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the age of your child we were sticking to Dubs' idea of dumping multiple pacifiers in the bed. While there were still times he would knock them all out of the way and we had to go help it did severely cut down on the number of times we had to get up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By age 3 we were ready to cut them out altogether (it was only a night thing, like you). He expressed interest in some mid-priced toy ($15-20 USD, something like that) so we offered to buy his pacifiers from him for the price of the toy. Made it an impulse decision for him right there in the store. We got home and collected the pacifiers, he enjoyed his toy. At bedtime he asked for his pacifier but we reminded him of the deal he agreed to and the cool new toy he got - did the trick. Over the next few weeks he asked about pacifiers a few times, and we may have had one or two fits that he couldn't get them back, but it never impacted his sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;May not work for your child at the current age, but it may be a helpful idea later in life or for others who find this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note -- I wouldn't encourage any sort of bribery as a regular part of parenting, but I think has a place in encouraging/rewarding major changes in a child's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastActivityDate="2011-12-23T18:26:24.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3808" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3822" CreationDate="2011-12-24T13:07:08.960" Score="8" ViewCount="36720" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are sleep training our 4 month old.  Its working great except that now he is flipping over to him belly and then he starts crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we go in and flip him back? Should we leave him to figure it out and flip back over.  He doesn't seem to be figuring it out now (after over 1 1/2 hours) so we have been flipping him back but wanted to see if that was the right thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastActivityDate="2019-01-02T22:58:26.993" Title="How do dealing with infant flipping over during sleep training?" Tags="|infant|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3808" CreationDate="2011-12-24T17:25:13.583" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/safe_sleep_gen.cfm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Current guidelines&lt;/a&gt; recommend putting your baby to sleep on his back, but it's okay if he flips over on his own.  I personally haven't been completely comfortable until my children could reliably flip over again to their back on their own.  However, if he's not comfortable on his tummy, an hour and a half is way too long to let a baby cry for &quot;training purposes.&quot;  If he doesn't get it the first 5-10 minutes, giving him more time is only going to stress him out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the purpose of sleep training is to make it more convenient for the &lt;em&gt;parents&lt;/em&gt;, not the child.  If you're up worrying about him crying on his tummy, it isn't doing either of you any good.  Sometimes babies who have a hard time tossing and turning do better tightly swaddled or sleeping in a swing or &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B0042D69XS&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bouncer seat&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2011-12-24T23:59:40.887" LastActivityDate="2011-12-24T23:59:40.887" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3808" CreationDate="2011-12-24T23:10:30.280" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about which way he is sleeping, if he gets into that possition on his own it is safe for him to sleep that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as what to do, he is not crying because he is having trouble falling asleep, he is crying because he is stuck so by all means go and flip him over. (I am a big beleiver in crying yourself to sleep, but in this case...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be sure to give him lots and lots of tummy time during the day and practice with him turning over so he will learn quickly. It should not take too long for him to get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-24T23:10:30.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3811" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3825" CreationDate="2011-12-24T23:15:00.507" Score="4" ViewCount="1979" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I discipline my child for poor behavior done at school.  My daughter, 4 years old, is telling other children she won't play with them.  This is competly unacceptable and when she does it with her siblings she is reprimanded.  We have yet to 'punish' her for this behavior as we hadn't seen it that much.  However, now that it is happening at school we must do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school is doing what it can, but &lt;strong&gt;what can we do at home in terms of discipline if the action is at school&lt;/strong&gt;. A well, &lt;strong&gt;what is the appropriate punishment for this action&lt;/strong&gt;.  We usually use logical consequences or time out, but in this instance  I am stumped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-03T19:09:03.067" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T02:39:57.437" Title="How do I discipline my 4 year old for not playing with schoolmates?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|school|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3811" CreationDate="2011-12-25T00:49:57.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's not much that you can do at home for a particular incident in school.  The consequences may be too far removed from the action to be useful to the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, keep on her when you catch her doing it while you're around, and if the teacher is also reprimanding her then that helps too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing to do is find out why she's acting like this towards the other kids. Is it all children, random ones, or particular kids? Is she doing this all the time or over particular toys or activities? Are other children doing something that's triggering this as a defense mechanism?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that may be helpful is if you can bring home a behavior report of some kind every day. Say a simple green/yellow/red for good/received warning/received consequence. Either get the report from the teacher when you pick your daughter up or fill it out while you're there. This gives you something you can both point at as a reminder of her day, and can be used for helping plan the rest of the day or in conjunction with a behavior chart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2011-12-25T00:49:57.063" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3811" CreationDate="2011-12-25T18:19:19.993" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Refusing to play with someone is a very common behavior. Most of the time there is nothing alarming to worry about. A four years old child is a complete human being with mind and heart. Children always have reasons for their actions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step is to examine the child’s relationships with others, children and adults. Find out if anyone has denied the child anything. Did she try to play with or talk to someone and was rejected? An incident at home can be reflected on someone at school and vice versa. Does the teacher discriminate, intentionally or unintentionally, between her and the other child? There are too many possibilities to list here. Also understanding the personality of the child may solve the puzzle. Children are sometimes extra sensitive to the way adults treat them. This is because they know they are weak and very dependent on us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have time, watch your daughter’s class for about 30 minutes to understand the dynamics. This will help you connect between home and school events. You don’t need to make these visits every day, only whenever you can. Also discuss with other parents their concerns and observations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no need for discipline or punishment in this case. Children have the same right to choose who to play with as adults do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-25T18:19:19.993" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3787" CreationDate="2011-12-26T01:10:52.917" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our tastes are affected by the other foods we eat. If eating food with sugars added to it, and grains (which are easily converted to sugars), your tastes will be over-saturated with sugar and thus vegetables will taste worse in comparison.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After adopting a Paleo diet (no sugar, grains, legumes, vegetable oils, or processed foods), my tastes changed drastically such that whole foods, including vegetables tasted much better and sugary foods tasted way too sweet. Note that this affect did not happen when I simply eliminated sugar, I had to eliminate grains and processed foods as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically if your kids don't like what is healthy for them, I would look at the totality of their diet, as they are probably used to eating a diet that is not healthy for them and therefore their tastes have adapted to it. And by &quot;not healthy&quot; I am including grains (whole or otherwise) which have many anti-nutrients and are hard for humans to digest (especially gluten).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To eliminate grains, since kids need a higher-carb diet than adults, you can replace those calories with starchy vegetables like squash and sweet potatoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, your question was &quot;why do vegetables taste bad&quot;, not &quot;why do snack food and sugars taste good&quot;, but as I've just outlined how they are related hopefully you will find this article relevant:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gnolls.org/2074/why-snack-food-is-addictive-the-grand-unified-theory-of-snack-appeal/&quot;&gt;Why Snack Food Is Addictive: THe Grand Unified Theory of Snack Appeal&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2015" LastActivityDate="2011-12-26T01:10:52.917" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3555" CreationDate="2011-12-26T01:20:17.047" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are feeding your child milk, cereal, or any processed food you are likely already feeding them supplements and chemicals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ALso, technically, all food is of a chemical nature. Life is a series of chemical reactions. So saying something as &quot;chemicals&quot; and therefore &quot;bad&quot; is not all that helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is important is to understand which foods and supplements lead to a healthy diet and provide those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, it is nearly impossible to get enough Omega-3 without having a very high fatty-fish diet. The key with this is you want to have a balance of Omega-3 with Omega-6, and most of our diets are very high in Omega-6. So taking Omega-3 makes sense. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vitamin-D is also a big one - especially if you live far from the equator. Unless you are willing to sit outside with your shirt off 1/2 hour a day, you are not getting enough. If you drink milk it is widely supplemented, otherwise, you should take some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, those are some arguments for individual supplements (the ones I think are most important). There are many more arguments for other individual ones, and you'd have to learn about them individually to understand whether they might be good for your child or not. There is no blanket answer to &quot;are supplements good to take?&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2015" LastActivityDate="2011-12-26T01:20:17.047" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3817" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3831" CreationDate="2011-12-26T13:02:41.390" Score="4" ViewCount="12386" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect my three month old baby is agitated by the strong scents such as soap, moisturizer, fabric softener etc. It is ironic since so many people recommend a massage with moisturizer for a good night's sleep-- which only makes her nervous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for references supporting this suspicion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2018" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-12-27T13:27:18.533" LastActivityDate="2019-11-29T03:30:17.360" Title="Can scented products irritate a newborn?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3787" CreationDate="2011-12-26T13:56:22.817" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a father of five, and all of our kids and most of their friends went through a stage where they refused to eat anything except one or two foods.  This happened around age 2.  They started narrowing their diet at about 18 months.  It got to the point that one of my daughters would only eat canned pears and cheese.  We contacted our doctor who told us that this isn't uncommon and most kids will outgrow it quickly.  Sure enough all of our kids outgrew this after a few weeks (though it seemed MUCH longer to us at the time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know the reason they went through this.  It has been suggested that they are going through a physical change as they move away from baby food/breast milk/formula and their brains are learning to process new information from the tongue and nose.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another suggestion made by a professional in the field suggested that this is a safe way to assert their growing independence.  They can safely say &quot;no.&quot;  Even better (from their perspective) if they refuse to eat particular foods, then (in some families) mommy and daddy pay lots of attention to them, playing airplane and choo-choo games.  Lots of fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the age of your kids, I would suggest offering them healthy foods, and just be glad they eat something.  Don't play games to get them to eat, and don't cater to their every whim, but if they ask for something reasonable (our daughter at a slice of cheese every morning for breakfast) let them have it so they are taking in nutrients.  Don't panic, and don't stress. Their tastes will grow and develop over time, especially as you continue offering different foods and modeling proper diet.  Right now we are in the happy place where 4/5 of our kids love vegetables (the exception being -- you guessed it -- the 19-month old.  Oh, and the 3 year old who insists tomatoes make her &quot;sick and sad&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1950" LastActivityDate="2011-12-26T13:56:22.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3793" CreationDate="2011-12-26T15:04:51.093" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When they went through this phase, I told my kids that I'd listen to them once they could say what they wanted without whining.  And then I'd ignore whiny requests.  All of them.  Can't reward bad behavior just because it's more convenient to do so or less embarrassing at a given time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With one daughter, when she whined, I had a hard time actually understanding what she was saying.  So I told her that.  And then would wait for her to quit whining.  If you're consistent, they'll learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2020" LastActivityDate="2011-12-26T15:04:51.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3817" CreationDate="2011-12-26T16:58:14.877" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually do not have any references other than the nurses that taught our birthing class before we had our daughter. She strongly recommended that all soaps be as sent free and dye free as possible, especially as a newborn. She told us that it can irritate their delicate skin and some of the scents are overwhelming to them as well. We actually do not use any fabric softeners because I have heard from many people that it agitates their children. We were also told to never use moisturizer on an infant unless there is a skin condition that is being supervised by a pediatrician because babies have well moisturized skin. I know this is not a documented answer, but I hope it helps you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-26T16:58:14.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3817" CreationDate="2011-12-26T18:26:49.347" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many scents and lotions are made from petrolleum products and other chemicals which a lot of people are sensitive to. You can try massaging your child with a gentle natural oil such as extra virgin olive oil etc.or with nothing to see if it is the massage/touch that aggitates your child or products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children are sensitive to certain types of touch. In this case a pediatric Occupational Therapist would be an excellent resource.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using gentle, natural products in your house and putting baby's laundry through an extra rinse can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2006" LastActivityDate="2011-12-26T18:26:49.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3808" CreationDate="2011-12-26T19:02:42.940" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the work you will need to do for this is during the day. Lots of tummy time - at least as often as he eats in the day. When he is on his tummy hold a toy in front of him and bring it around in his periferal vision until his head tilts so far back that it flips his body over on his back. This will help him learn how to flip and get used to the feeling of flipping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can flip him once or twice each night or at each episode but if he flips back over instantly then you do not want to get into a power struggle. If this happens you can move to supporting him on him tummy so he feels safe and comfortable. I would suggest, patting (until calm but not to sleep), shushing, singing/talking. Make sure the crib is safe, the sheets are taught and the mattress is not on the toddler side if there is one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2006" LastActivityDate="2011-12-26T19:02:42.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2011-12-26T19:12:44.263" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of good info here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a sleep perspective, TV can interfere with sleep if viewing occurs within 1-2 hours of bedtime or first thing in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, the light from the TV or Computer can interfere with the bodies natural production of melatonin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2006" LastActivityDate="2011-12-26T19:12:44.263" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3824" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3828" CreationDate="2011-12-27T09:44:28.880" Score="16" ViewCount="1700" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have stared to talk exclusively in English to my son when he was less than 6 months old. However, we have decided not to move to an English speaking country, so I ended up practically alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been two years since then (he's 2y7m old now) and he clearly understands (my) English (he does know colors in English, cars, can count in both languages to ten...), although he answers in Slovak. He's also able to translate what I tell to people who don't understand English. After two years, I have to admit that I'm still far from native speaker and seriously consider I cease from speaking English with him, so I don't teach him my broken English. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read answers on questions like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1169/1078&quot;&gt;Would it be bad to only speak to a child  in a language in which you are not completely fluent?&lt;/a&gt; and referenced studies, but there is no answer on what happens if I stop teaching the second language, or possibly, at what age it is desirable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will the advantages (cognitive or developed executive functions) we earned persist?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would these disappear if I cease from speaking English?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are there any negative effects on my son if I continue speaking English (beside the fact I may teach him broken English)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1078" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2018-02-28T18:29:08.700" Title="Should I stop teaching my toddler a second language if his exposure to it will be limited?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3811" CreationDate="2011-12-27T11:12:09.350" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Often this is just a phase - 2 of ours went through it, the other didn't. Many of our friends had their children do this for a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We encouraged them to play, but there isn't really a whole lot that needs doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worth asking your child what the reasons are - because it may be they are being excluded - but it may be nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-27T11:12:09.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3824" CreationDate="2011-12-27T11:13:42.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, the feedback seems to be that keeping a couple of languages going helps the brain in learning languages in later life. And English is always going to be a useful one to understand, even if he doesn't get fluent, as it is a common denominator in most countries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-27T11:13:42.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3827" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-27T16:34:39.677" Score="9" ViewCount="6884" Body="&lt;p&gt;I finally found some time to read the books my mother borrowed for me about sleep training. I was sorely disappointed: neither book mentioned &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; about actually &lt;strong&gt;teaching&lt;/strong&gt; the child how to fall asleep on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both books advocate a &quot;method&quot; that's like trying to teach someone to ride a bike by locking him in the gym with a bicycle. It may eventually have the desired effect, but it certainly doesn't count as training or teaching. There has got to be something different out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my web searches for alternative methods, I found one brief mention of techniques that involve teaching the child how to relax, but there were no specifics mentioned, and now I can't find the site. (I don't remember how I got there the first time, and I can't remember any keywords or other search terms.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What methods of sleep training are available that teach specific relaxation methods or other tools to help a child fall asleep on her own? I'm looking for &lt;em&gt;specifics&lt;/em&gt;: names of techniques or authors, titles of books or websites, or comprehensive summaries of the actual techniques: either something that I can search for online or at a bookstore, or enough information that I don't need to search.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some details, in case they're relevant:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 17 months old. A year ago, I could put her down awake and she'd babble/hum herself to sleep in a few minutes. Then she started teething.... At this point, I'm the only one who can put her to sleep; with anyone else she gets so busy testing limits that sleep just never happens. I sit in the office chair in her room, holding her horizontally in my arms, and rock her gently up-and-down while swaying side-to-side, while she chews on her blankie-toy. It sometimes takes half an hour, but eventually she falls asleep. She often stirs a bit when I put her in her crib, but if I timed it right, she settles down almost immediately. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She sometimes sleeps straight through until morning (with varying definitions of &quot;morning&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More often, she wakes once or twice in the night, but I can get her back to sleep by just patting or rubbing her back, or fixing the blanket, or pulling her back to the middle of the crib. Some nights, she sits or stands up while crying, so I have to pick her up and repeat the bedtime rocking ritual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I can then put her back in her crib and she sleeps until morning. Sometimes she wants nothing more to do with her crib, thankyouverymuch, and after about three tries I give up and take her to our bed. (There's only so much I'm capable of at 4 a.m.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes not even that works, and she ends up sleeping on her daddy's shoulder or some such. We're pretty sure those times must have some physical cause, but we haven't figured out what. (Teething is/was our default &quot;excuse&quot;, but she had 16 teeth by the time she turned 16 months old, so I can't imagine &lt;em&gt;which&lt;/em&gt; teeth she could possibly be working on now...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1883" LastEditorUserId="1883" LastEditDate="2011-12-27T23:26:29.317" LastActivityDate="2015-02-14T22:46:37.833" Title="Are there techniques for sleep training that actually teach a child how to sleep?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="18" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3824" CreationDate="2011-12-27T19:51:08.033" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any exposure to another language is great for children. With my sample space of two children, my  daughter (now ten) was raised bi-lingual and is years ahead in both languages (school-wise) even though she has limited exposure to her second language. My son (3.5) primarily speaks and thinks in his second language but can swap to English very quickly. He, also, only hears the second language from us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things will be easier for you since you have access to English DVDs (we have limited access to dubbed children's movies in our other language).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from the obvious and well documented benefits to brain development, having a second language (especially English) was other uses:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;English seemed to be the best, common language in my few visits to&#xA;Europe (Span, Portugal, Czech Republic, Hungary, Austria,&#xA;Turkey).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I am currently working remotely with a team in Russia, again the&#xA;common language is English. Work opportunities like this will only increase in the future.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In some countries, kids learn English as their second language in&#xA;school. Your child would have a great head start if this is the case&#xA;for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As your child exceeds your knowledge of English, you'll be able to&#xA;learn new things yourself. This has been the case with my children&#xA;forcing me to learn more.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long and short, keep it up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="31551" LastEditDate="2018-02-28T18:29:08.700" LastActivityDate="2018-02-28T18:29:08.700" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3817" CreationDate="2011-12-27T20:58:36.323" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As for soaps, the midwives in the birthing class I attended said that babies under a year don't really require soaps at all. Gently rinse with warm water, and use a dab of oil if necessary to clean the diaper area. We didn't start using any kind of soap until 1-1½ years of age, and just a small amount of baby soap in the bathtub.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for laundry detergents, we used anti-allergic detergents to start with. We've since switched to regular without problems, but I've had itchy-skin problems caused by detergents far into my adulthood so you might want to continue with anti-allergic detergents longer if you're worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-12-27T20:58:36.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3830" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3832" CreationDate="2011-12-27T21:40:05.530" Score="5" ViewCount="3628" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/uwDje.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there studies which say sitting with their legs bent back on either side of them this is bad? If so, how do you get your child to stop sitting this way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2011-12-28T01:53:47.157" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T06:40:45.197" Title="Is it bad for a child to sit on their feet?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3817" CreationDate="2011-12-28T01:51:32.423" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I've read, a newborn's sense of smell is much stronger and more fine-tuned than that of adults.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/care/newborn/newborns-developing-senses/?page=5&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parents&lt;/a&gt; article confirms:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Within the first week of life, a newborn is capable of recognizing the scent of his own mother. One study showed that at 5 days old, babies could smell the difference between a breast pad that had been used by their mother and a new pad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your newborn may be overwhelmed by the scent of your massage oil or soap.  However, babies in general aren't turned off by strong or artificial scents:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Other studies have observed babies reacting differently to a variety of smells; one study actually found infants exhibiting signs of pleasure when exposed to fruity scents, like a lemony after-shave lotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You already seem to recognize your baby's is agitated by certain smells.  I suspect liking or disliking artificial scents is unique to each baby (and probably has to do with mom's use of perfume, or brand of shampoo, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T01:51:32.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3830" CreationDate="2011-12-28T02:09:45.797" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This style of sitting is referred to as &quot;W-sitting.&quot;  There are good reasons for encouraging children to avoid this posture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children like this sitting position because it provides a great deal of stability.  One of the unfortunate side-effects is that they don't develop the appropriate trunk control.  There is no trunk rotation in this posture, which can delay or hinder the development of handedness. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pediatricservices.com/parents/pc-22.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pediatric Center&lt;/a&gt; for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I found this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In a W-sitting position, the hips are placed at the extreme limits of internal rotation, predisposing the child to future orthopedic problems. In the abnormal position, the risk of hip dislocation becomes a concern. If the child has hip dysplasia, which commonly goes undetected in youngsters, sitting in the W-position increases the risk of dislocation tremendously. Pre-existing orthopedic conditions can worsen when major muscle groups are placed in shortened positions and begin to tighten. These shortened muscles are at risk to form contractures, and a permanent shortening of the muscle--especially prone are the hamstrings, adductors and Achilles tendon. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://physical-therapy.advanceweb.com/Article/does-your-child-w-sit.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Advance for Physical Therapy and Rehab Medicine&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there's more, but you get the idea.  When my children started W-sitting a lot, my wife insisted it was damaging.  I &quot;knew&quot; that was a myth and looked online for recent studies showing it wasn't harmful.  I couldn't find a single reputable source making this claim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1950" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T02:09:45.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2011-12-28T03:26:32.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7 year old boy and an 8 year old girl so finding something they both like is a challenge. I finally had success with The Cosby Show and The Brady Bunch. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2023" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T03:26:32.987" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3834" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3920" CreationDate="2011-12-28T04:40:52.383" Score="24" ViewCount="2525" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 11 and I discovered that she had a Facebook account and a personal email account. These were two things my wife and I had told her she wasn't allowed to have. I felt she was still too young. When she was caught, she obviously offered up a bunch of lies and denials, and for this I have to ground her. My question is what happens after the grounding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I work in IT, so I am not new to this kind of media or unaware of the dangers and issues it presents. I have full knowledge in how to lock down her devices and put content filtering in place or a whitelist of allowed services, but let's be honest, I can no more stop her than I could stop a tidal wave. I can restrict her access, lock down the computers, search her devices periodically, but there are still friends' houses and a multitude of other ways she could and will access this stuff. I would like to believe otherwise but it's just too prevalent in our society, and everyone she knows is doing the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to ask myself not what I would feel better about, but what is better for her personal development? Truth be told, the only thing I can really do is try and educate her on the dangers and allow the services. This seems to be the only real solution. Other solutions would only force her to be more secretive, and for us to be more draconian, and for what? How would that help her develop into a better person/adult?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking for some insight or suggestions on how to approach this issue from. How should I go about this? Again she will be grounded, harshly for lying and sneaking behind our backs, and it's not going to be enjoyable for her. However after the punishment I need a plan on what's best moving forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1015" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-12-07T17:13:59.580" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T06:45:50.373" Title="Email and social media for pre-teens" Tags="|pre-teen|computer|internet|social-media|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-28T05:46:55.777" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son just turned 10. We got him an email account under the condition that we have his email address password as well. Of course, he can just delete stuff he doesn't want us to see as well, so even that is no real gated environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no answers other than, as you state, we can try blocking and grounding but none of that actually works. So I think the best bet is to try and educate. My biggest concern is Facebook and the hive-mind cliquishness of it. I'm pushing 40 and I get scared reading half the stuff on there from people I supposedly already knew. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T05:46:55.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-28T06:27:06.940" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We set up an email account for my daughter at age 9 and a blog for her. We also invested a lot of effort educating her about anonymity and trust. Neither email nor blog use her personal name or give away any details other than the city she lives in. She actually chose to use a pseudonym. She has been taught to never post photos, never give away personal information and not to trust any emails from people she does not know. She blog simply provides reviews of the books she's read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that sites like Club Penguin are (IMHO) just as risky as an email account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not allow my daughter to have a facebook account since that goes totally against the idea of anonymity and encourages distributing personal information in an uncontrolled manner (including photos).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have also set up her email account so we get a copy of whatever she receives. We have not told her about this but nor have we hidden it, the CCs appear in our normal inbox for which she has access. Every so often we will also check her internet history without her knowledge. We do not lock down any sites or filter, all we have done is set &quot;strict&quot; searching in google.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, we chose to educate our daughter about the technology, benefits and perils of the internet. On top of that, we still felt some monitoring was warranted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T06:27:06.940" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3830" CreationDate="2011-12-28T06:40:45.197" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found one source more:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.learninglinks.org.au/pdf/infosheets/LLIS%2025_W-Sit.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.learninglinks.org.au/pdf/infosheets/LLIS%2025_W-Sit.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;saying it is not good to w-sit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But: I tried to find scholarly material (from peer-reviewed journals) on the subject, and did not find strong evidence: neither for nor against. For example, in this journal:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/dev.20593/full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/dev.20593/full&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;W-sitting may indicate insufficient muscle control around the hip&#xA;  compensated for with a symmetrical sitting posture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I think the physiotherapists agree that w-sitting is not recommendable, but there is little or no scientific research made on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2025" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T06:40:45.197" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3827" CreationDate="2011-12-28T09:14:10.397" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know whether there are any &lt;em&gt;formal techniques&lt;/em&gt; but there are lots of methods that might (or might not) work. I don't think you can get an active toddler to &quot;get it&quot; right away; you might need to go through several methods in sequence to achieve increasing levels of calmness. &lt;strong&gt;The goal&lt;/strong&gt; would always be to make your child understand that she is safe and not alone, even when mommy isn't in the immediate vicinity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that your toddler is very active at bedtime, and that this keeps her from falling asleep. There's also a lot of crying which you want to reduce. That's exactly the case for my toddler, too: as soon as we put him on his mattress, he would immediately sit up or stand up again, and would not be left alone. As he got old enough, he would even climb out of his bed and walk to the living room. He's now 2y 3mo and it's gotten much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what we did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started out with a &lt;strong&gt;solid bedtime routine.&lt;/strong&gt; That cannot be stressed enough: Small children need to follow the exact same steps in the exact same order. For us it was pretty much this: put toys away, evening milk bottle, brush teeth, change diaper, put on pajamas, good night kiss, close the curtains, put to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But this was not enough, of course. He would not simply fall asleep, so we started very early on to remain in his room and sing a lullaby over and over again, putting him down again and again. This would often take an hour, so we knew something had to change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Cry it out&quot; was definitely not an option for us. We feel that this method hurts the child emotionally. But &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/178/109&quot;&gt;HedgeMage mentioned a much softer version&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; that worked very well for us. Following her method, our son quickly learned that it's okay when the parent leaves the room. It took about a week for my son to get the hang of this, but there were many relapses in the beginning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that he understands that bedtime means staying in bed, we have now developed &lt;strong&gt;a routine that is even easier.&lt;/strong&gt; After putting him to bed, he gets a kiss and a cuddle, and then I tell him that I'll go give mommy a kiss too and then return - which I then do. Another kiss and cuddle, then a longer absence, perhaps 2 minutes. I repeat this with increasing intervals (ca. 2-5-8-15 minutes) until he doesn't stir when I visit him. Note that if he begins crying in between my visits, I go to him immediately, giving him a kiss and a cuddle, and leave again. It's very simple, and very effective - at least, for us! There's nearly never any crying anymore, or only very short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Following this path helped our toddler transition from getting up immediately to staying in bed, lying down, and eventually falling asleep, with a minimum of fuss and crying. Of course there are still setbacks and impossible evenings, but it's rare, and when it happens we use one of the earlier methods. The next day is usually okay again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T09:14:10.397" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2011-12-28T09:36:45.493" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt; &lt;em&gt;Some of the other answers seem to address older children. I'm &lt;strong&gt;focusing on infants&lt;/strong&gt; as per the question.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, TV is harmful to an infant because it overstimulates.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A TV screen is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; active. This fast-paced activity should be avoided so as to not overload the mental processing capacity of the infant. While you're right that moving patterns and sounds are good stimulation for infants, such inputs need to be much slower than what a TV provides. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We adults don't really notice the fast pace because we can follow what's going on and it makes sense to us. But if you can't follow it, then it's putting quite some strain on you. There's a constant flood of light and dark flashes, fast movements, transitions and cuts between perspectives and scenes. If you look at your screen out of the corner of the eye, you'll get an idea of this - Or walk into a TV store... it's too hectic! Also, it doesn't have to be &quot;Rambo&quot;; even a relatively calm show like the evening news has lots of multi-camera action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would avoid putting an infant in a position where she can see the TV screen, even partially or in the corner of the eye. Place the baby facing away from the screen (facing you!) instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Good visual stimulation for infants&lt;/strong&gt; can be provided using mobiles that hang above their crib. Infants only have black/white vision the first 6 months, so the mobiles need to have distinct shapes and contrasting patterns (dots, spirals, lines, etc.). Later, colors are important too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-28T09:42:01.430" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T09:42:01.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3824" CreationDate="2011-12-28T09:52:55.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't stop.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing English is never a bad thing, and will remain useful throughout life. And I agree with Beofett that judging by your writing, your English is very good so I would not worry about it being &quot;broken&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you can communicate 100% in your chosen language, you should do that. Even if you had chosen a lesser known language (Danish, Swahili, Korean) it would still benefit the child (as long as you master the language) because knowing &gt;1 language unlocks a whole new understanding of what languages are and how they work. It makes learning further languages easier, and it also opens the eyes to the fact that there's a world outside your country of residence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T09:52:55.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3841" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3857" CreationDate="2011-12-28T14:09:50.133" Score="5" ViewCount="798" Body="&lt;p&gt;In &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3824/should-i-stop-teaching-my-toddler-a-second-language-if-his-exposure-to-it-will-b&quot;&gt;this recent question&lt;/a&gt;, Matej raises his son English bilingual. I think teaching English very early is a great idea because there's hardly any way around English anyway so you might as well learn it well. I consider good English skills to be essential. But because my family is &lt;em&gt;already&lt;/em&gt; bilingual, I hesitate to add a third language at 2 years of age. Besides, I don't know yet how I would do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I need some ideas on how to add English into a bilingual family.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's my starting point:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My son is learning German because we live in Austria and his mother is Austrian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Because I am from Denmark and I want him to learn his father's language too, I'm already speaking Danish to him (and no one else is, except when the family comes visiting from Denmark, or when we go there). In other circumstances, I would do as Matej did and speak only English with my son, but I don't want to speak 2 languages with him. On the other hand, I don't know anybody here that can speak English half as good as me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Television and cinema here in Austria is dubbed, so there's hardly any English to be heard anywhere. Also, there's plenty of literature (textbooks, novels, websites) in German, so there's no urgent &lt;em&gt;requirement&lt;/em&gt; to learn English. Consequently, Austrians (like the Germans) are famously and embarrassingly bad at English. (Unfortunately, this includes the average English teachers.) I don't want my son to be that bad at English!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I think English will be taught early on in school, though perhaps not right from the first school year. I can only pray that our local school has a skilled English teacher. (2021 edit: they don't...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't see myself being able to afford English-language private school, so whatever I do needs to precede or go in parallel with normal Austrian school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We are not planning on moving to an English-speaking country. Our life is &lt;em&gt;here&lt;/em&gt; at the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;All the household computers run exclusively English software. That's how I learned English to begin with, too: using a text-based &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mobygames.com/game/apple2/transylvania&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;adventure game&lt;/a&gt; and an English/Danish dictionary. It's not the ultimate solution, but a great start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 years old right now, so I'm not in a hurry to start. I want him to really grasp his two primary languages first. On the other hand, I don't want to wait too long either. The earlier he gets comfortable with it, the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I consider my spoken and written English skills to be excellent (for a non-native English speaker), so I am not concerned about teaching &amp;quot;broken English.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(I might add more points later.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2021-09-06T10:38:22.930" LastActivityDate="2021-09-06T10:38:22.930" Title="How can I add English to an already bilingual household?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3841" CreationDate="2011-12-28T15:59:18.807" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand a bit what you're talking about. I talk to my daughters in English, and my wife talks to them in Dutch; however, we also want them learning Hebrew as well (being Jewish, as well as having my mother-in-law being a Hebrew teacher). What we have done is gotten a couple of DVDs and audio tapes geared towards kids, and put it on when my daughter feels like watching some television (or putting the audio tapes on in the car when we go for a ride). If the DVDs are colorful enough to capture your child's attention, they will start to absorb some of the language they see. It might help to get DVDs and/or audio tapes that have a focus on music - singing some English language songs might make the process go quicker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because you already live in Austria, your child is going to learn German first - that's just the way it goes; by now, if you were consistent talking to them in Danish, your child should also at least be able to understand when you talk to him in Danish (I know for my child, if I ask her a question in English, she'll understand it and respond in Dutch). By exposing your child to an English language DVD, hopefully they will also be able to absorb some of what they hear, and will be better able to learn with you when your son gets older. Worst that happens? Your child runs around singing English language songs that doesn't have much meaning to him. It's worth a shot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1876" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T15:59:18.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3841" CreationDate="2011-12-28T17:23:38.387" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adding additional language in my son's case was not sudden, but I started with very short sentences, or better, simple commands like: sit down, stand up, gimme a hug. We started early, at about 6 months of age I stopped speaking Slovak towards him (I still speak Slovak with my wife, even in front of him). We've continued with body parts or small toys (cars, etc.), and now (after two years) I ask him what he wants to eat for dinner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although he still answers in mother's language, sometimes, if we spend whole day together, he  uses few English words (This is [a] blue car!). Due to being alone English speaker around him, I haven't asked him to answer in English to me yet, but I'm eager to start soon. I'll try to start from small things like naming things to me in English (If I play with him - it's a &quot;car&quot;, if it is mom, he plays with &quot;auto&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So start with small words, short sentences, let him understand what you tell in English at first. Accept correct answer correct in any language. You may excersise it at home, but still use Danish everywhere else, like you are both used to. Later, when you know more words, try to turn specific days/evenings in a week to The English Day. Perhaps, short English stories on DVD or YouTube will come handy - some animated stories don't talk too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1078" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T17:23:38.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3844" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3841" CreationDate="2011-12-28T17:33:51.803" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would strongly suggest some preschool television programs in English. Most preschool programs are aimed at language development and therefore would help you child learn English. Two programs come to mind - Sesame Street and Yo Gaba Gaba. Many of these programs are available on Netflix or can be purchased through Amazon. These shows are fun for preschool children and may hold their attention a little into primary school. I would say the danger with these is that you child may find them babyish as they age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also an online program that may be helpful for learning to read and speak - tumblebooks.com is a program that reads the books to you while the text is on the screen. It is a subscription site, but many public libraries have links to it from their sites. There is a large number of books and may be a great independent activity for your child as they get older. I know there are many picture books as well as some beginning chapter books. Another option is that on the Nook color (and perhaps other devices) there are books that can be purchased and downloaded that will read to the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many studies show that children learn additional languages best if they are learning it at the same time as their primary language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T17:33:51.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-28T17:52:27.407" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would focus on the lying and sneaking around. As you have mentioned, you feel there is no way around the use of the programs. I, personally would talk to her about Facebook and have her account frozen - the user agreement on Facebook states that users must be 13. I would proceed with talks about trust. I think I would make her re-earn the right to use all the technology as well as some other privileges. I think the most important component to focus on is the trust so she knows that it is not acceptable to sneak around - today it is email, but I am sure you don't want her sneaking out of the house a few years down the road!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T17:52:27.407" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-28T18:16:26.907" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Proclaimer: I have no personal experience with raising children. I just have a big interest in it, am following some guru's at this topic in the Netherlands, exchanged thoughts with a teacher, and have thought about / shaped my own thoughts.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're making big steps in your own process here, that is great to see. On one hand you very confident in punishment and your previous statement, on the other hand you're in doubt and shaping new (quite concrete) thoughts. I think one first thing would be to know that your daughter is probably going through a similar learning process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best you can do is to &lt;strong&gt;see it as normal and talk about things happing&lt;/strong&gt;. As a base, allow it: it is probably normal for her, it is the world around her. You can (and should) set some rules though. Just as in the physical world, don't just take candy from unknown people. For example: before uploading a video or photo, she should first show it to you. She will not get everything directly, and will be seduced by how Facebook et all presents things, but she will learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also talk about it like you talk about other things happening in the physical world. Like, &quot;how was it at school&quot;, also ask &quot;how was it on the internet&quot;. If you start early with this, she will not find it strange and will likely tell openly about who said what and what she did herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;See her as an expert&lt;/strong&gt; in it. Whether you are in IT (me too) doesn't change this, she will be(come) a bigger expert in how things socially go around for her age in these media. What she likes and doesn't like. And how to deal with that. Practically: ask her things. What does she do? Why does she like that? How(!) does she do that? (even though you know the answer; she will present it in another way or talk about the effects and emotions). Handle these conversations with care, let her really be the expert. Listen to what she says. Reply, but don't judge. If you feel something is not good, ask her what she thinks about it, what the effects are. Or name an effect and ask what she thinks about it. Maybe the same conclusions come up as you already knew, but in this way she will shape her own opinions about it. And by talking together you will be able to co-shape and ask the right questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not believe that blocking sites and devices and locking out certain usage has a good effect. As you've already seen, her curiosity or her friends catch her and she does it anyway. In talks I had with teachers they can confirm. They don't block websites on school computers as it would happen somewhere else then. Instead they are talking about what happened, in the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again: &lt;strong&gt;for children growing up now, Facebook is as normal as opening a door or walking on the street&lt;/strong&gt;. They will know no better than that it is. If you treat it as something dangerous they won't understand and will not talk openly about it to you, as you're not understanding what they understand (from their point of view).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="464" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T18:16:26.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3847" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3851" CreationDate="2011-12-28T20:38:21.607" Score="6" ViewCount="5299" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am having difficulty showing and explaining how to be considerate and thoughtful of other's feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I teach a child to be consciously thoughtful and observant of other people?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the problems of being inconsiderate to others?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1973" LastActivityDate="2013-11-24T18:59:10.553" Title="How to teach the importance of being considerate?" Tags="|behavior|teaching|communication|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-28T21:29:34.447" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I have no answer as to what to do after the grounding for lying I'd like to toss in this idea.&#xA;How is not having an email account effecting her socially.  Yes, there is a big problem with Cyberbullying which would effect her socially if she had an email account, not having one also presents a social issue.  If this is how her friends communicate she is being left out and will eventually be left out of the social circle because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T21:29:34.447" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3849" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-28T21:34:55.763" Score="3" ViewCount="2659" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously four years old is too young to diagnose ADD; however, my daughter has always exibited ADD symptoms and it would not be surprising if one of our children has ADD as it runs in the family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are finding that she is fine in Pre-Kindergarden (according to the teachers; although keep in mind that activities in school at that age only last for about 15 minutes), but once she gets home in the afternoon (4:00) she goes crazy. She can't hold her attention and she loses her cool. Crying, tantrums, frustration. Too tired and going crazy. It seems that she is holding it together at school but is unable to once she gets home. She is much better on the weekends.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with the afternoon behavior understanding that it is caused by her working to hold it together at school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-26T13:23:15.607" LastActivityDate="2019-03-26T13:23:15.607" Title="How do I deal with my pre-schooler's over tired behavior after school?" Tags="|pre-schooler|adhd|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3847" CreationDate="2011-12-28T23:14:08.567" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be a living example and do it with naration.  In other words be considerate in front of your child and do it witnural narration.  Don't say (to your child), do you see how I was considerate, rather say (to yourself), I am so glad I noticed that so and so was feeling down and I tried to make him/her feel better or I am so glad I was able to be polite and say excuse me to that nice lady.  Your child will learn from your example.  As well, when your child is inconsiderate do a similar thing, saying (to your child), I wish you had been able to ... it would have made you feel so good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T23:14:08.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3847" CreationDate="2011-12-28T23:20:12.550" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Humans learn by three methods: imitation, gain, and loss. Let’s discuss each one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Imitation&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;First, parents must be considerate in their dealings in front of the children but certainly &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; the children. Second, parents should encourage relationships with considerate people and discourage others. This includes parents' friends. Third, parents may appraise considerate people and criticize those who are inconsiderate.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Gain&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;Show children by example that considerate people are successful. Show them how social relations are improved by being considerate. Make them aware of their own feelings when someone is considerate with them. Draw their attention to their own reaction to considerate friends.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Loss&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;Loss can be demonstrated in the same manner as gain but with negative consequences. In addition, by reacting negatively to child's inconsiderate act, the child will learn to control these acts. It is sufficient that the negative reaction is by turning your face away, loosing facial expressions, or any other subtle expressions. Remember to react immediately so the child relates his action to your reaction. Also your reaction must be lack of attention rather than more attention. Children do anything to get attention.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2011-12-28T23:20:12.550" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-29T01:07:56.063" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One way to see her email to to setup gmail to download her email using the pop3 interface. This will capture all emails sent to her, even if she tries to delete them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will not see what she sends but you will see any replies back to her original email.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2027" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T01:07:56.063" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-29T02:17:00.887" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The minimum age to use Facebook, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=210644045634222&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;per their terms of service&lt;/a&gt;, is 13:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;What is the minimum age required to sign up for Facebook?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to be eligible to sign up for Facebook, people must be thirteen (13) years of age or older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The minimum age to use GMail and Google Accounts, &lt;a href=&quot;http://support.google.com/plus/bin/answer.py?hl=en&amp;amp;answer=1350409&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;per their terms of service&lt;/a&gt;, is also 13 (in the USA):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Age requirements on Google Accounts&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following age requirements apply for owners of a Google Account (with the exception of accounts in Apps for Education domains):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All other countries (including the US): 13 or older&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's a lot easier to say &amp;quot;it's against the law for you to have a Facebook account&amp;quot; than it is to say &amp;quot;you can't have a Facebook account because I think you're too young&amp;quot;. The law is on your side in this case, and I for one agree with this particular law -- 13 years is a good rule of thumb and starting age for use of social media.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-02T06:31:15.330" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3855" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-29T03:53:27.557" Score="22" ViewCount="44573" Body="&lt;p&gt;We find white nose to be extremely effective for soothing our 5-week old son. Loud white noise (60 decibels or so) will help soothe him when he is overtired and crying, and if we play soft white noise (40-50 db) near him as he sleeps he is much less likely to fully wake himself up when he stirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I have a few concerns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Will hours of white noise a day cause hearing damage? We make sure that sustained volumes are always less than 60db which is below any level for hearing damage, but the temptation is to have it going whenever he is asleep and I can't find any data if long term, low volume of a constant sound can be detrimental to an infant's hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Will this become a crutch he will need to get to sleep even when he's much older? On one level that wouldn't be so bad since it is extremely easy to provide (just flip on an iPhone app). But I'd hate to make things more difficult for us down the line.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone with experience or knowledge on this? The only study I could find exposed rats to 24/7 noise and predictably it delays their ability to recognize other sounds. But we obviously don't use it even close to constantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2028" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T13:27:47.390" Title="Are there any dangers or downsides to white noise as a calming tool" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3855" CreationDate="2011-12-29T05:10:58.663" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am neither a scientist nor a doctor, but I believe they spent 9 months listening to white noise (well, 4 months, at least) in the womb. And given that most of us have fallen asleep as infants with some form of noise (music box, radio, mom's lullabyes, mobile, etc). I doubt that short of dangerous DB levels there'd be any sort of harm from white noise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I also worked in offices that pumped in white noise 8 hours a day, so, at least OSHA thinks it's fine for us grown up folks)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T05:10:58.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3841" CreationDate="2011-12-29T06:15:06.033" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm no expert, but this is my understanding, from reading up on this (my daughter is trilingual).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you speak the language in question perfectly, adding a language as early as at two years will make no real difference. Instead the child will inherit your accent and grammar mistakes, which although unproblematic means there is no benefit to adding the language later. This is probably why it in general is not recommended that you try to teach toddlers a language which is not your mother-tongue. There is an added benefit in how easy you can learn languages, but I'm not sure it needs to be as early as two years, and adding a third Germanic language in a bi-germanic household probably isn't as beneficial as the second language was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also generally agreed that it is important for language development to learn at least one language properly, and the more languages the child has to learn, the longer that will take, although that is probably not a problem in itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would instead of trying to introduce a non-mother-tongue at an early age, rather do it at school-age. This avoids the confusion by adding a new language when you are two or three or younger, which is likely to delay language development somewhat (which is probably unproblematic, but can be frustrating as a parent). In most civilized countries (France, US and UK thereby excluded [just kidding]) you start learning a second language at somewhere between 8 and 10 years, and this is often English. Having exposed the child to this language before will help, and I think introducing it in the daily language will help even more. Basically, some time before the child starts learning English in school (during preschool even), start using it daily, by the dinner table, etc, teaching the child phrases and words. After a year or two of this, you can give him/her English books and DVD's, etc and soon after you can probably start using English as a main language with the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This procedure seems to me to have very few of the potential drawbacks of teaching your child a language that is not your mother-tongue, while having no drawbacks in itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-12-29T06:22:20.653" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T06:22:20.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3855" CreationDate="2011-12-29T07:05:58.563" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a doctor too, just an engineer, but:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;60 dB can not damage your hearing. 85 dB for 8 hours a day is a safe limit for adults, and 60 dB is very very far from that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you use the white noise for couple of tens of minutes, it is hard to believe it will cause any stress or psychological damage. I think any continuous noise is bad, if it is too loud and/or durates hours. White noise is natural noise, for example, if you lived next to a waterfall, you would be always listening to white noise :-).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is some research done on subject close to this, see for example &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=fi&amp;amp;q=white+noise+infant&quot;&gt;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=fi&amp;amp;q=white+noise+infant&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't worry if your child gets used to listening white noise when falling asleep. The same problem is with drinking breast milk or water from a bottle, telling stories, singing a song etc. It will take couple of days or maximum couple of weeks to get rid of that habit. For example, our child got a water bottle as a sleeping aid. It took couple of days to learn to sleep without it. Of course, those couple of days were disturbing :-).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2025" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T07:05:58.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3855" CreationDate="2011-12-29T07:16:14.227" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I cannot speak to actual hearing loss, but the study you cite definitely suggests that you are right to be concerned (I believe you are talking about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencemag.org/content/300/5618/498.short&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt;, the abstract doesn't really cover much, but it does seem to suggest that discerning sounds will be impeded by an excess of white noise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;White noise is incredibly effective at soothing babies, but this effectiveness decreases over time (according to &quot;Best Baby on the Block&quot; it is most effective for the first three months after birth (called the &quot;forth trimester&quot;))&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anything used in excess will become a crutch for your child to sleep. Now, in this case it is fairly innocuous &amp;mdash; white noise is easy to reproduce and fairly harmless, but it will become a crutch if used excessively. It is always best to allow a child to fall asleep on its own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my particular case, we've used white noise and music to sooth the savage beast, but we always let our kids fall asleep &quot;unaided&quot; (not held, not falling asleep while feeding, only a moderate amount of noise in the background at most (note: we do not have a &quot;quiet room&quot;, silence can also be a crutch)).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best bet to avoid crutches is to wait until the child is about to fall asleep and then put the child into the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="324" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T07:16:14.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-29T07:33:53.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Couple of things to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As someone said, using certain services is forbidden for children under 13 years old. This can &lt;strong&gt;lead to sad consequences&lt;/strong&gt;, as in this case:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/hey-google-thanks-for-making-my-daughter-cry/2011/12/12/gIQAhYx9pO_blog.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/hey-google-thanks-for-making-my-daughter-cry/2011/12/12/gIQAhYx9pO_blog.html&lt;/a&gt; where child's mail account was deleted (and all nice memories lost), when admins found out that the kid was &quot;too young&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't know where you live, but before reading your children's email or messages make sure it is legal. For example, here in Finland &lt;strong&gt;it is a crime to read your children's email without his/her permission&lt;/strong&gt; or regular mail (with certain exceptions). Of course you can agree with your child that (s)he can set up an account in condition that you can read together all the messages.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2025" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T07:33:53.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-29T11:37:31.557" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is difficult to decide, partly because the difference between someone who is 11 and someone who is 13 is not that great (to take it to an absurd extreme, if someone who is one week away from being 13 were caught creating a FB account, would FB close the account and tell them to wait one week?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think grounding her was correct - she went behind your back and gave out false information about herself. What happens afterwards is that she needs to be open and honest with you about her online activities. Explain to her that there are bad people who look for your young people to stalk (I would be hesitant using the term 'young adult', since even a 13 year old is far from being an 'adult', but your 11 year old no longer sees herself as a 'child'). Explain that you want to allow her to have some freedom to explore the outside world, but because of her young age she still needs guidance from her parents. With that in mind, try laying some ground rules for using FB:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Only use it when at home. This may be nigh impossible to enforce, but if she at least knows she can use FB when she gets home, at least you know when she's logging in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Only allow FB access during certain hours. This might help keep some of the potential stalkers at bay, as they would not be able to chat with your daughter when everyone else is sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Do not accept any friend requests from anyone other than friends your daughter personally knows. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) If a friend is planning a party or some other event, your daughter should inform you when and where the event is taking place so you can chaperone her or at least keep tabs on where she is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) This idea is a tricky one to get someone to agree to, but it would allow for the most clarity of what your daughter is doing - agree on a password for her account, and agree that you will periodically check her account WITHOUT MODIFYING ANYTHING. I put that last part in caps because you need to reassure your daughter that while you want to just make sure everything is kosher, you're not about to reply to any of her e-mails or friend requests. Ask her to inform you if someone starts talking about stuff like sex to her online so you can investigate further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remind your daughter also that there are cases of kids bullying other kids online (there was a 15 year old girl who hung herself after some bullying from kids at her school and online). If your daughter winds up getting caught in such a discussion or on the recieving end of bullying, have her talk to you, make a note of who is doing the bullying and attempt to talk to the kids parents and school teachers. It's better to be slightly paranoid and otherwise enjoy exploring this new world than to be completely trusting and be one of the few kids who tragically fall victim to other people's lures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1876" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T11:37:31.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2011-12-29T13:27:22.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keeping tabs on her whereabouts, getting her a cell phone / emergency contact in case they do find themselves in trouble, and making them feel like they can communicate with you and &lt;em&gt;not have to&lt;/em&gt; hide anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T13:27:22.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3863" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-29T17:36:02.120" Score="11" ViewCount="311" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes children (say 3-5 years of age) want you to play with them, but for whatever reason, you cannot participate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you say &quot;not now&quot; without hurting their feelings or making them feel rejected?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T10:00:32.993" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T14:26:53.353" Title="How do you say &quot;not now&quot;?" Tags="|pre-schooler|play-time|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3864" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3890" CreationDate="2011-12-29T18:09:53.687" Score="1" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a fairly specific question about primary school admissions in England. Suppose that we move to a new area with child that is already school age (e.g. move from one part to another or move into England from abroad). What are the rules/chances to get him/her to a state school in that area? Assume that there are many primary schools nearby (e.g. in London).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-25T12:24:18.970" LastActivityDate="2019-09-25T12:24:18.970" Title="What are the chances to get a child to a state school in the area you are moving to, like London?" Tags="|school|moving|united-kingdom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="3865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3849" CreationDate="2011-12-29T21:01:08.023" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife's and my general experience is that as a child tires there will be a notable decrease in attention span and attentiveness to authority. This is perfectly normal and should be expected in young children. One way that we help address this is allowing the child playtime &amp;mdash; give your daughter a chance to run out the energy she held back while at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not a psychologist (though I do have ADD) but I will say that this does not sound like the symptoms of ADD. ADD is something which is consistent throughout the day, which means that her teachers would have noticed something too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, this is not to say that she definitively does not have ADD, merely that this is not something commonly considered a symptom. Only a trained medical professional can truly evaluate whether your child has the disease. If you are still concerned about this as a possibility, you may be able to go in and have her tested. (At this point, I will note that my ADD was diagnosed only after the &lt;em&gt;second&lt;/em&gt; set of tests, so they were not the most conclusive twenty years ago. I have no idea what their state is right now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="324" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T21:01:08.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3863" CreationDate="2011-12-29T21:14:31.480" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found two ways of dealing with this.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;First, when we get home I give my kids about 15 minutes of my time before attempting what I think 'needs' to get done.  This way I have given them my attention and then I can say something like, I need to make dinner it will take about 10 minutes and then I will be back.  this avoids the whole issue.&#xA;Second, when the issue does come up I tell them about how long it will be and what we will do when that time comes, I then suggest what they can do while waiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T21:14:31.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3867" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3982" CreationDate="2011-12-29T21:28:26.467" Score="3" ViewCount="471" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four children share one room.  My first three children I sleep trained by using the cry it out method (I know this is controversial on this site but it worked for me).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did sleep train the fourth child the same way in the guest room and that worked great.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is now 22 months old and she has been constantly calling us for her blankets at bed time and then sometimes during the night.  We don't want to use the cry it out method as it will wake up her siblings, but we must get her to sleep on her own and get her own blankets.  I would appreciate some suggestions of how to do this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2011-12-29T22:34:55.880" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T17:38:02.643" Title="How can we train a toddler that shares a room with siblings to sleep without disturbing the others?" Tags="|siblings|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1516" CreationDate="2011-12-29T23:31:50.077" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;em&gt;you are needed&lt;/em&gt;.  They need you very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is always a lot of anger from children that lose their fathers.  Here is where I think the anger comes from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; their dad. They lost their Dad. So don't try and be their Dad, because &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; will anger them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;I try to get the angry sister to think about her words before she says them or to understand that she is not the only one with anger or hostility&lt;/em&gt;.&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are lecturing like a Dad.  Try to avoid that.  If something's really wrong, try to &lt;em&gt;resolve the conflict&lt;/em&gt; not &lt;em&gt;&quot;fix people&quot;&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;However she argues (quite loudly) that she's not angry and that the only problem is me.&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;the only problem is me&lt;/b&gt;: Odd as it sounds, don't take it &lt;em&gt;personally&lt;/em&gt;. It's not &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;, it's how you're acting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2011-12-29T23:31:50.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3870" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3875" CreationDate="2011-12-30T13:39:49.800" Score="22" ViewCount="15450" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2 year old boy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he sees iPhone and iPad, he is literally glued to it for hours on end. And he is so stubborn that it is difficult for us to get him leave these instruments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually I hid my iPhone when he is awake, but if I want to use it when he is awake, it gets difficult to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried few things to some degree of success:&#xA;1. Hide ALL apps and Camera via restrictions so that he does not have much to play with.&#xA;2. For iPad, I just make the volume zero. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I aim is for is this: I want to be able to use iPhone and iPad in front of him without him wanting these devices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have a solution for this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-09-29T03:11:16.010" LastActivityDate="2020-09-29T03:11:16.010" Title="How to remove Toddler's attraction for iPhone /iPad?" Tags="|toddler|screen-time|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3870" CreationDate="2011-12-30T14:44:29.460" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you're asking in regard to a toddler, my answer is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's not a toy. Make no exceptions.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would very likely allow &lt;strong&gt;older kids&lt;/strong&gt; to play with my iPhone, because they're more likely to take good care to not damage it, and  to not make calls to random people in the phone list. But a toddler doesn't understand what he's doing, he's just touching semi-randomly and while enjoying the changing colors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toddler of a friend of mine ruined an iPhone because he, too, was incredibly attracted to it and eventually physically broke it. (Turns out an iPhone doesn't do very well as a car on a rough stone floor. Apparently it lacks something called &quot;wheels.&quot; Who knew?) My wife and I are very protective of our computers and iPhones; from the very start we made it clear that these are &lt;em&gt;our&lt;/em&gt; devices and only &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; may use them. Despite being very active and inquisitive, out toddler learned to respect that electronic devices are not kids' toys but adult tools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My recommendation to you&lt;/strong&gt; is that you begin teaching your son that a phone is delicate and expensive, and not a toy. Until he learns to not play with it at all, make no exceptions. Do not under any circumstances let him touch or hold it. It's forbidden, just like a kitchen knife. In your case this is going to be difficult because he has already learned that he is allowed to use it. Persevere. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make it a new rule that he is not allowed to touch your phone. Be consistent. As long as your don't break this rule, he can learn that it really &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a rule. If you break your rule, you're teaching him that he can break the rule too. So don't give in, no matter what. Really, treat the phone like a knife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only when he demonstrates that he has learned to respect your things can you allow him to play with it under supervision.&lt;sup&gt;1)&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that my context for this answer is that an iPhone/iPad/laptop is an expensive piece of equipment that I can't afford to replace on a whim. I'm sure suitably affluent parents have other/higher limits, but my limit is lower. I'm less strict concerning less valuable non-toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;1) Software recommendations generally aren't in the scope of this site but it fits into this topic: There's a useful iPhone app called &quot;IncarcerApp&quot; that will disable the home button so that the user remains in the chosen program. My toddler is sometimes allowed to use a painting app, locked down using IncarcerApp, and only under supervision.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Edited to emphasize my context relative to other answers.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2011-12-30T19:06:45.123" LastActivityDate="2011-12-30T19:06:45.123" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3870" CreationDate="2011-12-30T15:21:50.170" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I tend to see iphones and ipads as toys more than anything else - my kids get to play with them as much as they do other toys - I think they can be pretty safe with them from about 3 years old; but under that age you might find they can be a bit too rough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to treat them like you would other toys - would you let them play with one toy for a whole afternoon? Or would you like to get them doing different things? We let them play on one of the phones for a short while if we are in the car and they are getting very bored. For iPads we might give them a bit more time if they are playing together as it is more of a coffee table toy than a solo toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, when it's time to finish we do the same as with other toys, and tell them firmly that it's time to finish. If there are arguments they get less time with it next time, or they miss out on it entirely for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-30T15:21:50.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3863" CreationDate="2011-12-30T16:09:44.290" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing is to let them know when. They won't mind &quot;not now&quot; if they know that their time will come. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do this by using a timer. If I am working on something and the kids want some time that I don't have immediately, I will set a timer for 30 minutes, or 60 minutes and then when the timer goes off I make some time (even as little as 10-15 minutes). This way they know when their daddy time is coming and can see how long it will be. And when the timer goes off they can come get me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this gives you an idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2011-12-30T16:09:44.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3864" CreationDate="2011-12-30T16:37:19.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that your local authority is under an obligation to provide a school place -- and that's all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything else depends on the local authority. For instance, our local village schools are &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; oversubscribed so even if someone moved next door they would need to travel four or five miles to the only school that has places available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some local authorities will provide free transport if the school place is beyond a certain distance from home - typically three miles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="459" LastActivityDate="2011-12-30T16:37:19.003" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3870" CreationDate="2011-12-30T17:52:52.320" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, set up ground rules about how much he can play on these devices each day and be clear with him about them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, in order to help you follow through with your rules, lock your IPhone/IPad with a password.  That way, you won't have to worry about hiding your devices from him, plus this will help accustom him to being in the same room as your ipad without being able to play with it.  Here's how to do this:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;Settings --&amp;gt; General --&amp;gt; Passcode Lock&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, be sure to follow through on your rules.  When he wants to use it, tell him &quot;Ok, you can use it until x O'clock&quot;.  As that time approaches, give him fair warning so he can finish up what he is doing.  Once his time is up take your device away from him.  He might put up a stink but stick to your guns and eventually he'll learn to accept it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last, when he sees you using it and wants a turn, remind him that his time for the day is up.  This will likely be tough for the little guy, so you may want to gradually ramp up your use in front of him.  However, if you stand firm, eventually he'll eventually learn to share, and that is a very valuable life lesson :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2036" LastEditorUserId="2036" LastEditDate="2011-12-30T17:57:57.667" LastActivityDate="2011-12-30T17:57:57.667" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3870" CreationDate="2011-12-30T18:02:34.573" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids know what screen time means.  They know that TV, the Wii, the phone, etc. are for special occasions and then they can only have one a day and they are very good about understanding this. They have understood this concept at a very early age as if you are consistent and use the right words (ie- grown up words) they do get it.  As well, setting a timer when the time ends is a good idea.  Stubborn or not you are in charge.  Even tears can be a good lesson.  Try distracting, but don't give in to crying, a rule is a rule and after a few times kids realize crying doesn't work and they give it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2011-12-30T18:02:34.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3877" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-30T18:06:19.970" Score="3" ViewCount="6703" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 21 month old sometimes refuses to nap.  She will play in her crib but won't sleep.  She is then miserable come 4pm but by then it is too late for nap.  When she doesn't nap she falls right asleep at night, when she does nap she plays in her crib for about half and hour before falling asleep.  I can't figure out if I should just give up on nap and let her get used to it and then maybe she won't be so unhappy in the late afternoon or continue to have her nap. I am worried she won't be getting enough sleep if she gives up her nap.&#xA;So, when is too early to give up a nap?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2011-12-30T19:59:23.030" LastActivityDate="2013-08-08T14:09:53.103" Title="When is too young to give up the nap?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3877" CreationDate="2011-12-30T19:27:45.353" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't have to end the naps abruptly. You could transition away from &quot;nap time&quot; by replacing it with some &quot;quiet time&quot; instead:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;rules&quot; for quiet time would be simple, something like she has to stay quiet, no talking/crying/singing and no noisy toys; she has to stay in her bed (or at least in her room); she should expect to remain alone; she does NOT have to sleep but she can read, or relax, or do other slow and quiet activities alone. When the daily quiet time ends, she can resume whatever non-quiet activities she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(The idea of &quot;quiet time&quot; isn't mine. I think there's an older question in here somewhere where this was introduced as an answer. I'd appreciate if someone can find it and link to it, to give credit where due.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-12-30T19:27:45.353" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3877" CreationDate="2011-12-30T20:02:07.540" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless skipping the nap makes her cranky all afternoon, I'd probably skip the nap in your case. But for our daughter we will still rock her, sing to her or simply take a short walk in the stroller to make her fall asleep for the mid-day nap. Like yours she won't fall asleep by herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2011-12-30T20:02:07.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3870" CreationDate="2011-12-31T02:28:12.520" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I gave my little guy (18 months old) my old Google G1 to play with.  It was out of contract, no longer able to make calls, and I also put it into &quot;airplane mode&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I downloaded a few games that I thought he might want to play on it, and then tried to show him how to play them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time he tries to reach for either my or my wife's devices, I turn on the G1, hand it to him, and try to get him to play one of the games on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once I turned his little &quot;toy&quot; into a &quot;learning experience&quot; he lost interest in trying to get ahold of them altogether!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach might work for you, too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2040" LastActivityDate="2011-12-31T02:28:12.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3882" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2011-12-31T05:35:21.083" Score="12" ViewCount="2685" Body="&lt;p&gt;So we've been sterilizing our bottles with a microwave steam bottle sterilizer. Is this at all required? What risks might exist if we don't bother?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1129" LastActivityDate="2020-03-12T14:05:28.870" Title="Is it required or advised to sterilize bottles?" Tags="|newborn|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3883" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3886" CreationDate="2011-12-31T07:30:51.560" Score="10" ViewCount="2241" Body="&lt;p&gt;We love to carry our baby using different baby wearing products...baby carrier (baby bjorn, ergo baby, etc.), the sling (with adjustable rings), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the age, they will generally be worn in different positions. Generally when their infants their entire lower body is inside and their legs are folded in all sorts of ways. When they are a little older, their legs are kind of spread and straddle the parent's body (or if their facing out they don't straddle anything).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is that because they are in these positions for, cumulatively, long periods of time, will this have an effect on their hips, or leg joints, etc.? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:55:42.657" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T22:55:42.657" Title="Can &quot;Baby wearing&quot; lead to physical issues for the baby?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3883" CreationDate="2011-12-31T15:15:58.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Extended use of carriers does carry &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; risk of problems, but unless there are existing physical problems, or extremely high use there is little evidence that problems are at all likely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having found many contradictory opinions on the subject, we did what I'll suggest you do as well - talk to your pediatrician.  Ours told us anything short of &quot;constant use&quot; was not going to cause problems, presuming there were no existing problems with our daughters joints.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today (well into the toddler/walking/running stage) we still use carriers occasionally, especially when traveling and in the absence of developmental problems, we've been counselled that continued use is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician did say that constant use of the same carrier did carry &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; potential risk, and while we never approached that level of use, we did ask that special attention was paid to that part of the checkup.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2043" LastActivityDate="2011-12-31T15:15:58.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3882" CreationDate="2011-12-31T15:21:57.613" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies take a while to build up resistance to infection, so sterilising bottles, at least for the first few months, is definitely recommended. Milk is a very good food not only for babies, but for bacteria so you want to get bottles clean, and then sterilised!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2011-12-31T15:21:57.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3883" CreationDate="2011-12-31T15:33:34.723" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I put your question to my physiotherapist wife. Her answer, based on infant anatomy, is that both slings and baby carriers &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be used &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; the baby is adequately supported. That means, specifically:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The baby's legs must not be straight down. The baby must be sitting with a &lt;strong&gt;significant bend in the hip/leg joint&lt;/strong&gt; so that it is easy to straddle the parent. The hip angle is not important when the baby is carried in  a sling &quot;hammock-style&quot; and the child is well supported in the entire body length. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sitting with angled legs allows the carrier to &lt;strong&gt;support the child from knee to knee&lt;/strong&gt;. The part of the carrier that is between the knees support nearly all the child's weight, so this part must be as wide as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The baby must &lt;strong&gt;never look forward&lt;/strong&gt;, away from the parent. The reason is quite simply that the child's legs cannot be angled enough when facing forward. (If you have some kind of special carrier that ensures a good hip angle even in this direction, then go ahead.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some carrier models have a fairly narrow part between the legs. This allows the legs to dangle more or less straight down, and also allows the baby to be carried face-forward. These &lt;strong&gt;models  should be avoided,&lt;/strong&gt; because there is a measurable risk &lt;em&gt;(citation needed!)&lt;/em&gt; of problems with the hip joint. The reason is that infants' hips are not fully developed, that only happens during the first year. By letting the legs dangle, you're effectively pulling the thigh bone out of the hip joint, and this is what can lead to physiological problems during childhood and adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As long as the baby has not developed enough muscular strength in the neck to lift the head when lying belly-down on a floor/bed, the head must also be adequately supported. All carriers I've seen handle this well so it's not an important selection criteria but it must be paid attention to while wearing the carrier.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-01T10:21:58.917" LastActivityDate="2012-01-01T10:21:58.917" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3882" CreationDate="2011-12-31T15:40:27.507" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No, it's not required.&lt;/strong&gt; Lots of children are born into dirty surroundings and still survive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, it's advised&lt;/strong&gt; for newborns and infants because they have not yet built up enough immune resistance. Baby bottles, teething toys, and other objects that the newborn/infant puts in the mouth can be sterilized to reduce any unnecessary burden on the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the kids start sucking on all kinds of non-sterilized toys, non-toys, &lt;em&gt;stroller wheels!&lt;/em&gt;, etc. you can stop sterilizing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; still sterilizing, be sure to read and follow the instructions carefully. It's very easy to contaminate a newly-sterilized set of bottles with a thoughtless hand movement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: When we were expecting, we were lured into the fear trap and bought a brand-new Philips sterilizer. We could probably have found the same used for much less, or even a kit that can be used in the microwave like you mention. Fear can help people open their eyes and do a little basic research (good), or it can sucker them into spending more than they have to (silly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2011-12-31T15:40:27.507" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3882" CreationDate="2011-12-31T18:41:23.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;On a daily basis, sterilization is not necessary, particularly if these things are washed with soap and hot water shortly after use.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, when someone in the home gets sick, the bottles, nipples, pacifiers and mouthy-toys should be sterilized. Also any items left unwashed for a while (like the pacifier tied to the stroller) could use sterilization from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was easy for me to sterilize because we had an electric dishwasher, which gets hot enough for long enough to kill bacteria. We put the nipples and small items in a special basket, and it worked like a charm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2011-12-31T18:41:23.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3824" CreationDate="2011-12-31T21:37:54.273" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to get him exposed to the language in other settings, especially if you can provide an opportunity for him to speak to English-speaking kids. Try to sneak into the expat community around you (works best if you live in a city, of course) and organise play-dates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="27" LastActivityDate="2011-12-31T21:37:54.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3864" CreationDate="2011-12-31T22:29:24.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our area of London (Southwest) it depends a bit on the age of the child. The entering classes are over-subscribed (ages 4-6), so it's difficult to get a place, but the local authority will offer you something. It may not be in your first choice school and you may end up with a commute. Above the age of 8 or 9, families tend to move to where the secondary schools are good, which means that there are often extra places available in the good local primary schools. Our local population is rather international and mobile, so there are a couple of leavers and new children each year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The new allocations start in January for the following September. The entering class places are offered around April, but there is often a lot of change before school starts in September. You might have better luck getting a place if you can apply in the spring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2045" LastActivityDate="2011-12-31T22:29:24.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3891" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-01T09:53:41.410" Score="6" ViewCount="34579" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a friend with a one year old that bites people, maybe as a sign of affection, but doesn't know that it hurts others. How can his parents discipline him regarding this behavior?&#xA;Do you try to show him that his actions actually hurt others?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-06T13:10:20.677" LastActivityDate="2019-01-06T13:10:20.677" Title="How do you teach a 1 year old to stop biting people?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|biting|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3891" CreationDate="2012-01-01T10:47:29.080" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, &lt;strong&gt;don't bite him back&lt;/strong&gt; to show him that it hurts. By doing that, you'd demonstrate that other people bite too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;He likely doesn't know&lt;/strong&gt; that his biting hurts people, but their reaction to being bitten should teach him that. If someone bites me, I would clearly and loudly say &lt;em&gt;Ow, that hurts!&lt;/em&gt; and then move away from and avoid interaction with the child. The idea would be a subtle, &lt;strong&gt;passive punishment&lt;/strong&gt; by way of not giving him attention, because attention equals encouragement. Instead of moving myself away, I could also (if it's my kid) move him away, e.g. put him in his crib and leave him alone for a (very) short while. It's a simple time-out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given more context perhaps a more useful answer can be provided, so please edit the question to add more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-01T10:47:29.080" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2012-01-01T19:19:12.867" Score="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, you state:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I realize that vaccines are a controversial topic,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is not exactly correct in a legitimate sense.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://factsnotfantasy.com/vaccines.php&quot;&gt;The only &quot;controversy&quot; is manufactured&lt;/a&gt;.  Most, if not all, the things said about vaccines by the anti-vax pro-disease folks are &lt;em&gt;lies&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/hcp.htm&quot;&gt;Competent and ethical practitioners of medicine all support vaccines&lt;/a&gt;.  To specifically address your question though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/chickenpox/vaccination.html&quot;&gt;PROS of VACCINES&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The vaccine is administered in a doctor's office.  Understand that NOTHING is 100% safe (even breathing), so should there be any reactions, you will be with a doctor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The patient that gets the vaccine will most likely not suffer from the disease, and the numerous possible side effects (scarring, pneumonia, liver damage, brain damage, death).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A vaccinated individual contributes to Herd Immunity, thereby offering protection to individuals who are immune-compromised, or may be unable to get the vaccine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The rate of &quot;complications&quot; with a vaccine are about 1 in 1,000,000 (and keep in mind, the majority of these &quot;complications&quot; are non-permanent treatable reactions such as anaphalaxis).  The complications from the disease itself are about 1 in 10,000 for chicken pox.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The economic impact is lessened by a vaccine (a good counter argument to the &quot;Big Pharma&quot; lie...  In general, a vaccine nets any company much, much LESS than treating someone with the same disease).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;CONS of VACCINES&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;None beyond those listed above that have any scientific merit (i.e. the 1 in a million chance of a negative reaction).  Or the non-issue of the vaccine not totally providing immunity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PROS of POX-PARTY&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A very high likelihood that immunity will be gained through exposure (although it should be noted that the level of immunity is the same as for a vaccine...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;CONS of POX-PARTY&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/chickenpox/about/complications.html&quot;&gt;The much higher possibility of side effects&lt;/a&gt; (1 in 10,000 versus 1 in a million) such as brain damage, liver damage, death&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The possibility of spreading the disease to immune-compromised or those who may not know their immunity is somehow compromised.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not being in the presence of a doctor during administration&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The economic impact of having to care for a sick child (staying home from work, the child missing school, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/chickenpox/about/prevention-treatment.html&quot;&gt;the cost of additional medicines to deal with symptoms&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some good educational sites for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.chop.edu/service/vaccine-education-center/a-look-at-each-vaccine/varicella-chickenpox-vaccine.html&quot;&gt;The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scopeblog.stanford.edu/2011/07/vaccination-could-eliminate-chicken-pox-related-deaths-in-the-u-s/&quot;&gt;Stanford (and I) think it's a good idea to &lt;em&gt;eliminate deaths&lt;/em&gt; from this preventable disease&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure if this link will work in this format, but here is an interesting video about opting out of vaccines in general:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newsy.com/embed-video/9802/&quot;&gt;http://www.newsy.com/embed-video/9802/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1762" LastEditorUserId="1762" LastEditDate="2012-01-02T04:39:00.510" LastActivityDate="2012-01-02T04:39:00.510" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3894" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3895" CreationDate="2012-01-01T20:11:40.103" Score="1" ViewCount="3388" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is 33w 5 days pregnent as per LMP. All her USG done till far except the last one which was done couple of days backed the USG fetal age was 1 week ahead of LMP. The last USG she wen't through showed the fetal age to be 2 weeks behind the LMP. Our doctor mentioned that this is not a good sign as this is indicating that the baby is not growing properly. So he was suggesting an early delivery within 37-38 wk.&#xA;As far as I have researched I found that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;USG dating is more reliable in early pregnency when the proportional growth of all babies are consistent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At later pregency the USG dating is +- 2 weeks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby growth at later pregnency is not uniform.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it really a concern if USG fetal age is 2 weeks behind LMP fetal age?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it enough reason to go for early delivery?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can the USG dating be wrong considering a 3 weeks prior scan showed the USG age to be 1 week ahead of LMP age.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The weight of baby was estimated to be 1.7033 kg. Is it normal for 33 wk?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are really worried and concerned. Even the doctor we are visiting is the best Gynacologist in our city.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1954" LastActivityDate="2012-01-01T22:14:53.907" Title="USG fetal age is 2 weeks behind LMP for 33 wk Pregnency. Is it a concern?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2012-01-02T08:31:47.297" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3894" CreationDate="2012-01-01T22:07:44.717" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend asking for a second opinion from another doctor, rather than internet research. The facts you've found on the internet are pretty much general advice, whereas what your doctor says is taking into account &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; medical history.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, there are millions of potential complications that the standard internet advice won't take into account, from age to hereditary conditions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, doctors generally won't raise concerns with parents unless there's something important that they need to make a decision about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody on here is as well equipped to advise you as your doctor, as this is a purely medical issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that 2 weeks early isn't highly troubling, it may just be that they think it'll be safer to have your child under controlled observation, in case it's not getting the correct nutrients at this stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-01-01T22:14:53.907" LastActivityDate="2012-01-01T22:14:53.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3891" CreationDate="2012-01-01T22:24:32.123" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is he still teething? Babies tend to bite things as their teeth are coming through, as it helps with the utterly weird sensation of something forcing its way out from inside their jaw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friend's 6-month old tends to do this a lot, and they're concerned that he may continue after the teeth have come through, especially as while he's got no teeth, it's just &lt;em&gt;adorable&lt;/em&gt;, so he's getting a certain amount of positive reinforcement when he does it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that might help is some form of teething ring that he can chew on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he already has something like this or he's past the teething stage, then it may be that he's picked up that it's a good way to get attention, in which case, what Torben said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-04-01T09:40:01.843" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T09:40:01.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="255" CreationDate="2012-01-01T22:50:07.953" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Besides &quot;don't bring the enemy into your home&quot;, which is an excellent tip, when you do treat them, buy them &lt;em&gt;reasonable quantity&lt;/em&gt;, out-of-home sweets.  For example, you might buy each &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; donut on the way back from somewhere, &lt;strong&gt;not a dozen&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although this is more expensive, that's kind of the point.  Don't buy sweets often, and you won't waste a lot of money on them (see them this way).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really think the whole &quot;buy more, it's cheaper!!&quot; that stores/donut shops do totally needs to be ignored when it comes to sweets.  &lt;strong&gt;Do not go for bulk, discount bargains for sweets.&lt;/strong&gt;  Just buy enough to make them happy, and &lt;strong&gt;don't buy more just because it's cheaper per unit or seems like a good deal&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-01-01T22:50:07.953" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3891" CreationDate="2012-01-01T23:37:12.643" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We always lightly bopped our kids on the mouth, therefore showing him that his mouth is what hurt you.  Then say No, we don't bite people in a strong forceful voice.  The child will learn quickly not to bite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing to think about is what is the child trying to say.  It is an age appropriate, although not allowed, behavior for children that have something to say but no words to say it.  If you can figure out what he is trying to say after the above you can say it for him.  For example, 'No, we don't bite (in a forceful voice and then in a regular voice continue) instead say: I don't like it when you grab my toys'.  No, your child will not necessarily know what you are saying but I have always been an advocate of the idea that we don't know when children start understanding so speak to them as if they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-01T23:37:12.643" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3899" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3952" CreationDate="2012-01-02T00:52:15.403" Score="9" ViewCount="16199" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3mo daughter was sleeping pretty well through the night (from 11 PM to 7 AM) for about a week, and now she wakes up every 30 mins to 1 hour wanting her pacifier.  I've been running in at the first sign of crying and giving her her pacifier. As of 2 days ago, the behavior started spreading to her day time routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a routine set up where she wakes up, eats (wife breastfeeds), has her &quot;awake time&quot;, and then we put her down awake for her nap when she shows signs of being tired (lather, rinse, repeat).  She normally didn't wake up more than once or twice a night or during her naps, where as now it's anywhere from 4-7 times a night and 2-3 times during a nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've asked a few people what they've done and people have suggested:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;gradual extinction&quot; to remove pacifier dependency all together&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;just deal with it till she can self soothe&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;remove pacifier during day and deal with her, and then let her have it at night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;add a midnight feeding at 2-3 AM and remove pacifier during day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is our first child and so we are still new with this whole parenting thing.  What is safe for the baby?  Will the baby go through &quot;withdrawals&quot; if we deny her something she has grown attached too?  How can we help her get better sleep during the night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2048" LastActivityDate="2019-07-26T22:43:10.423" Title="How do I help my 3 month old sleep better through the night?" Tags="|infant|sleep|pacifier|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1443" CreationDate="2012-01-02T02:20:13.667" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Absolutely not.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For females, anything &quot;circumcision&quot; is binned under &lt;strong&gt;female genital mutilation&lt;/strong&gt;.  In many countries FGM is banned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the &quot;benefits&quot; (such as reduced STI/HIV transmission rates) I would suggest &lt;strong&gt;using condoms&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;carefully selecting sex parters&lt;/strong&gt; instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can watch &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXVFFI76ff0&quot;&gt;this video&lt;/a&gt; to see the procedure (warning: shows &lt;em&gt;entire&lt;/em&gt; medical procedure).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="2136" LastEditDate="2013-01-17T21:28:45.670" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T21:28:45.670" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3899" CreationDate="2012-01-02T18:04:23.613" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am so not an expert but our 3 year old son just gave up his pacifier.  He was told he would get a &quot;special&quot; gift at Christmas if he gave it up that night.  Prior to that, it was a huge battle to ever get him to go to sleep without it.  And if he ever lost it in the middle of the night, we heard about it.  In fact, I think the whole neighborhood heard it.  The special gift did the trick, and we are successfully 8 days without a pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say get your own sleep and worry about it at age 1. Or 2.  Or 3.  At 3 we could bargain with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="899" LastActivityDate="2012-01-02T18:04:23.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3899" CreationDate="2012-01-02T20:25:35.090" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;3 months of age is &lt;strong&gt;way too early&lt;/strong&gt; to completely wean her off the pacifier, &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; for the night. I think on average you can expect a child to go without the pacifier at 1½-2 years of age during daytime, and 2-3 years for nighttime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is of course assuming that the parents are even pro-pacifier, but you seem to be. If I'm mistaken, please edit your question to explain your plans/ambitions regarding pacifiers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and just now weaned our 2y3mo old son off the pacifier during the day (except when he's unhappy for whatever reason), but I think it'll be good while yet regarding nighttime. He's going to bed with at least 2 pacifiers. They also help him (and us!) fall back to sleep at night; he only seriously wakes us if he can't find any of them. Frankly I don't mind this at all, as long as it helps him fall asleep. The pacifier falls out when he falls asleep, so I am not worried about dental consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way: If your daughter is only 3 months old and already pretty much sleeps through the night, then consider yourself exceptionally lucky. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-02T20:25:35.090" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3899" CreationDate="2012-01-02T21:48:05.623" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took the pacifiers away at around 9 month, after that the theory goes that is much harder to take it way. In terms of your 3 month old...taking it away completely during the day is important or you will soon have a child who uses it all the time and this could impede her talking if it lasts to long.  In terms of night a few things to try.  Let her cry for just a couple of minutes (unless you like the cry it out method) to see if she will sooth herself.  If not go in and give it to her.  If this doesn't work after a few night try putting lots of pacifiers in her bed so she is sure to find one when she reaches around and lastly be patient, she is very young still.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-02T21:48:05.623" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="453" CreationDate="2012-01-02T23:12:43.473" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The colder the better! Ever wonder why hospitals keep the temperature inside so low? &lt;a href=&quot;http://indianapublicmedia.org/amomentofscience/why-operating-rooms-are-so-cold/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;If you have ever been in an operating room they keep those rooms several degrees lower than the rest of the hosp&lt;/a&gt;. Answer: It reduces the spread of bacteria and infection. So it would just make common sense to keep your house as low as possible or it just becomes a big petri dish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those people who grew up needing or developed a need for a lot of heat (myself included) it is also environmentally irresponsible to be wanting the inside of our houses to be like the tropics year round. I live in Missouri (extreme cold and extreme heat) and kept my thermostat at 72-74 in winter and 68-70 in summer. We have slowly over past several years lowered/raised those temps by one to two degrees per year. We are now perfectly confortable @ 66-68 in deep winter and at 72-73 in August. So it can be done it just takes commitment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2052" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-30T10:58:47.743" LastActivityDate="2015-09-30T10:58:47.743" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3906" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-03T18:14:28.170" Score="11" ViewCount="1876" Body="&lt;p&gt;How old does a child have to be to be lying on purpose?  How old are they before they can understand the concept of a lie vs the truth?  What about not the truth vs the truth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-03T18:32:01.513" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T17:17:59.637" Title="When can children understand the concept of lying?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3907" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-03T18:18:32.847" Score="5" ViewCount="468" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a child lies there a few common reasons why they may be doing this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To see what happens&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;because it is fun to tell stories that they don't really realize are lies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;to get someone else in trouble&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;to get themselves out of trouble&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would one go about disciplining these lies (assuming you realize they are lies)?  Let's say we are talking about ages 4-8. After that lying is a much more serious issue and must be dealt with, I imagine, in a different way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Related to number 4, I have heard the theory that whatever the consequence would be for the action they are lying about is doubled.  I'd welcome any other suggestions, especially for the other three reasons listed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-01-09T19:35:14.440" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T19:35:14.440" Title="What are appropriate methods for disciplining a primary schooler for lying?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|primary-schooler|lying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3877" CreationDate="2012-01-03T18:37:36.503" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In all things sleep for our children, my bible has been Kim West's &lt;em&gt;The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Well and Wake Up Happy&lt;/em&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1593155581&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;(Amazon page)&lt;/a&gt;.  It's the only parenting book that I don't lend out, because I never know when I'll need it on short notice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on that book and my experience, I think 21 months old is too young to give up naps. (Not only because a 21-month-old awake all day will drive any parent nuts, but also for the child's sake!)  Our 4-year-old still naps once a week or so, and can nap for 3 hours if we let her sleep that long.  Our 19-month-old always naps 2-3 hours, and is quite cranky if she doesn't nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are the most important things I found for making naps happen (many of which I learned from the Kim West's book):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A very dark room.  We had to get blackout shades, and they helped.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A very consistent sleeping routine.  I'm almost a fanatic about it.  With our daugher it goes like so.  We eat lunch, change a diaper if needed (all such awakening activities happen early in the routine!), read a story or two, close the curtains, talk about how it's sleeping time and how teddy (her lovey) is also tired, sing her a song, lay her in the crib under a warm blanket (with teddy), and say sleep tight, and then go out of the room.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A consistent lovey (her favorite teddy bear) that always goes to sleep with her, and participates in the sleeping routine.  We don't take this teddy anywhere outside the house for fear of losing it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;Sleep Lady shuffle&quot; described in Kim West's book (fading away, I think it's also called).  That helped our daughter learn to sleep on her own at night, which helped her at naptime too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's lots more discussion about naps in Kim West's book.  For really hard cases, I can also highly recommend Kim West's telephone coaching sessions &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sleeplady.com/personal-coaching/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.sleeplady.com/personal-coaching/&lt;/a&gt; .  Sabine (our 19-month-old) had been getting up at 5.45am every day, no matter what we did or tried and despite sleeping well at naptime and at night.  A phone session was extremely helpful, and now Sabine gets up at 6.30 or 6.45, which is a vast improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I have no financial interest anything I've recommended above.  Though sometimes I wish I did!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: With the shuffle, you teach your child to hold you in his/her mind, as you are progressively farther away, and thereby go to sleep calmly.  Each stage lasts three nights.  In all of them, you put your child in his/her crib when drowsy.  In the first stage, you stay right next to the crib making soothing sounds (&quot;sssshhhh&quot;, &quot;sleeping time&quot;, &quot;teddy is also tired&quot;) until he/she falls asleep.  Three days later you are in the second stage, and you stay halfway across the room but very visible. The next stage you are across the room.  (You can vary the positions, and I am probably not quoting it exactly, but rather am describing what I did.)  Then by the door but inside the room and visible.  Then somewhere by the door and not visible but audible.  Then just outside the room and audible.  Then outside the room not too far away.  And you're done!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, almost.  In the last stages, when you are not visible, you come back every 5 minutes if needed to sooth your child if needed (so it is definitely not a &quot;cry it out&quot; method).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did almost exactly this for the night time sleeping.  For naptime we found that we had to skip a few stages, and just go more quickly toward the &quot;out of the room&quot; stage and allow about 10 minutes of crying.  Otherwise our presence in the room was just an invitation to keep playing and to avoid falling asleep.  Whereas at night, maybe the total darkness made it obvious that it was sleeping time (even with blackout shades, at naptime there was still some light).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea behind it is that your child develops more and more confidence in your presence even when you are not there (but it is too hard to do all at once, so it is progressive).  Thus, he/she feels comfortable enough to fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2056" LastEditorUserId="2056" LastEditDate="2012-01-10T02:36:23.087" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T02:36:23.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3909" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3910" CreationDate="2012-01-03T19:04:20.383" Score="14" ViewCount="37247" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, now 15 months old, was sleeping through the night, and waking up consistently at 6am.  However, over the past few months he had been gradually waking up earlier.  Now he wakes up consistently at 5am.  For a while I was able to go in and say &quot;it is still too early; go back to sleep&quot; and he would lie back down and fall asleep for another half hour - 45 minutes.  However, that no longer works, and he won't go back to sleep until after he's had a bottle of milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other night he was woken up accidentally around 11pm (he normally goes to sleep around 8:30pm).  We gave him a small bottle of milk, and then put him back to bed.  The next morning he still woke up at 5am, so I do not think it is an issue of him being awakened by hunger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we help shift his wake up time back to 6am-6:30am?  Waking up at 5am each morning is getting to be a real strain on our schedules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-03T21:31:36.773" LastActivityDate="2013-03-09T10:40:51.733" Title="How can I get my toddler to sleep later in the mornings?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3909" CreationDate="2012-01-03T19:46:22.347" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure there's no reason for him to wake up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The temperature is suitable, and he's tucked in well. His blanket and/or sleeping sack covers him and isn't tangled around him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The room is totally dark, except perhaps a small nightlight.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your home is as quiet as you can reasonably make it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Perhaps add ambient sounds?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our toddler also had a period of waking at 5 in the morning, and we couldn't get him to sleep longer no matter what we tried -- the above were all taken care of and have not changed since his birth. After about 2 months it changed again and he slept until 6. Now he'll sometimes sleep until 7 if we're lucky, but that doesn't mean he'll have an early straight again some day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-03T19:46:22.347" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3909" CreationDate="2012-01-03T20:46:39.803" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of parents hate giving up that extra hour in the evenings, but the &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; way to get your son to wake up an hour later is to put him to bed an hour later.  15 month-olds just plain don't need as much sleep as 5 month-olds.  The great and terrible thing about parenting is that as soon as you get one part down, it changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, we generally focus on teaching our kids to be quiet and respectful of people still sleeping when they wake up, rather than trying to get them to sleep against their inclinations.  15 months is a little young for him to really grasp that completely, but you can do things like give him something quiet to play with and go back to bed yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-01-03T20:46:39.803" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3906" CreationDate="2012-01-04T03:57:27.800" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found a good article on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/3298979/Babies-not-as-innocent-as-they-pretend.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;telegraph.co.uk&lt;/a&gt; that answers this question.  But first, what counts as &quot;lying&quot;?  The studies mentioned in the article are pretty broad, and include any sort of intentional deception.  Taking that definition, &lt;strong&gt;babies can  lie as early as 6 to 8 months!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Infants quickly learnt that using tactics such as fake crying and pretend laughing could win them attention. By eight months, more difficult deceptions became apparent, such as concealing forbidden activities or trying to distract parents' attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It goes on to say that later, when kids are around 2-year-olds, their lies can become more sophisticated.  They'll say &quot;I don't care&quot; when threatened with punishment, even if they do care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T03:57:27.800" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2012-01-04T04:44:44.907" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will answer the question directly in a mo, but first an anecdote.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest sons (20,18 as of this writing) had the 'pops'. When the 18 was 3, he got it before the mother of the 20 and I got married. So we got them together and they both dealt with it. That was 1995. By 2005 it was a STATE REQUIRED (Missouri) immunization for my then 4yo to get into early Kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the reasoning is noble (reducing the likelihood of adult issues in any case) I question the actual need. Big Pharma notwithstanding, how big of a problem was it? I'll bet that there is much more treatable disease that can be fixed with a better diet by children and that the same $M spent on say school breakfast and lunch would have a larger effect on a broader list of issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The direct answer to your question: Get the immunization. Even tho, in your locality, it may still be a legal option, it's no longer a realistic option. Thanks to 10 yrs of aggressive vaccination, &lt;em&gt;chicken pox is no longer as prevalent in the wild.&lt;/em&gt; From a practical standpoint, I think it's extremely unlikely that you will now be able to catch it naturally and will simply wind up as a statistic touting the benefits of taking the vacc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T04:44:44.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3863" CreationDate="2012-01-04T05:00:15.847" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know how it goes... you're cooking dinner, or are in rush hour traffic, or on the phone arguing with your exwife (ahem) and your kid is all about &quot;can I do bla bla bla?&quot; while your brain is occupied and can barely eek out the cycles to say &quot;not right now&quot; let alone come up with a coherent answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer to your question is to change your own habit. Change-up into something just as low-cycle, but more meaningful... &quot;ask me in a couple minutes&quot; or &quot;lets get home and then we can talk&quot; . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, my personal favorite &quot;Dude, i'm on the phone and you're interrupting. what are you supposed to do when I'm having a conversaton?&quot; &quot;Say 'excuse me dad'.&quot; &quot;Right so let's try it again.&quot; . . . . &quot;Excuse me, dad?&quot; &quot;Not right now.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T05:00:15.847" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3907" CreationDate="2012-01-04T05:06:28.410" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Classify the lie as consequential or inconsequential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consequential lie causes a harm and creates a problem. In this case do the following steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain clearly what the lie has caused.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the child to admit the truth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the child to apologize to all affected parties.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the child to remedy the damage (with your help).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The embarrassment and the pain of going through the above steps is sufficient disciplining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Inconsequential lie is an insult to the other person's intelligence. It negatively affects the trust and the relationship. This must be explained and demonstrated in the interactions with the lying child. Children are very sensitive to affections and the lack of. The child will learn that lying is taken seriously and reflects back on the child's social relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For 4-8 years old children, I don't recommend any disciplining stronger than the above. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T05:06:28.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3849" CreationDate="2012-01-04T05:24:57.973" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's your post-school routine? Children that age love predictable, tidy, daily plans that they can count on. Also, what time of day are we talking about? I'm assuming that it's a half-day being a 4yo. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you really tie down the first 2 hours after school into steady blocks, (:15 is great) regardless of what the activities are. Sure people will say &quot;No TV it rots bla bla!&quot; when the reality is that at this point, if you're not already doing it, a hard-set routine would be more beneficial than any particular activity. However I would say, since you're at home, keep it light and fluffy topics... things like helping with lunch/snack (with cleanup can be 2 segments), a walk outside (weather permitting) or tv/computer (with specific  media every time, like 1 ep of Blues Clues for example), reading together followed by reading alone, color/drawing, etc... stuff like that. If you work it right, one of your segments may very well turn into cat-nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm no psychologist, but it would stand to reason that you'd be able to see if they're having early attention issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now here's the caveat . . . the adult problem with a routine for the child is that it's a routine for the adult as well. 100%. You cannot expect success if you're not there with them. That means if you're a work-at-home parent, this is a 2 hour block that you'll have to convince yourself is worth more than the 2 hours of work, and that is difficult. You can't 'sneak away for a couple minutes' to check msgs... you not only lose control, but are tempted to take :20 instead of :02.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T05:24:57.973" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2012-01-04T06:11:51.717" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always find the topic of children vs TV as an odd dichotomy. It's like everyone watches tv but nobody wants their kids to watch tv. I'm not saying anyone posting in this thread is a hypocrite, not by any stretch, I'm making an aged observation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I'm picking up a level of fear here in the question &quot;Is TV harmful &lt;strong&gt;at all&lt;/strong&gt; to my infant's development?&quot;, allow me to dispense a dose of realism: All things in moderation. An apple a day won't kill you, 20 apples a day might. A beer a day won't kill you, a case of beer a day might. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby turning her head to look at the tv while you watch a movie is not going to irrevocably poison her mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For an infant or toddler, hanging out while you watch Dexter or Game of Thrones isn't going to matter. Dare I say popping on Baby Einstein or Blues Clues for an hour or whatever while you make lunch or pick up toys could actually be positive because you know where they are while your attention is elsewhere, which beats the alternative of NOT knowing what they could be getting into while you're in the basement switching out the laundry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the 'apple a day' part that won't hurt. The 20 apples a day part is parking said child in front of the tv &lt;em&gt;all day&lt;/em&gt; while you play facebook games or World of Warcraft. (Yes I've known people like this)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: the television is a single tool. It has a place in the rearing of your child just like books, music, walks in the park and playing with megablocks . . . 10 solid hours of any activity will be no good. As the parent, make the decision as to what you think is too much and be ok with that, because the fact that you're here asking immediately puts you above the type of parent that you don't want to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Dexter and Game of Thrones were chosen for comedic effect and they're 2ndary to the actual point. Please don't chastise me about feeding violence and sex to a baby)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[next day edit]&#xA;I keep coming back to the apparent fear in the phrasing of the core question&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Is TV harmful at all?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;while I gave my opinionated answer to the direct question, the answer to this question is &quot;If it was, we'd &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; be idiots.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I may have read you wrong here, but it's ok to lighten up a bit. A healthy level of concern is great, it's a clear internal check and balance. You're doing what you can to ensure your kid grows up healthy, wealthy and wise. But it can be overdone, and it usually happens with new parents that keep looking for the &quot;how to raise your kid&quot; book and panic when they can't find it. (Note: it doesn't exist.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally have known parents take all the labels and techniques and 'fad family advice' too far. One couple I've known for a while wound up raising weird kids. They wondered out loud to me why their 13 was weird. But didn't want to listen to me when I told them it was the wheat germ brownies (or whatever it was) and the other arbitrary decisions (like &quot;no tv at all till they're 4yo&quot;) that drowned out their inner parenting voice. A grand total of 20 Cheesey Poofs from a couple lunches in a week isn't going to kill a hi-chair toddler. And lets face it. . . cheesey poofs are fun to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Listen to that parenting voice. You can read and research, and asking on these boards is great, but ultimately you're President of your child. You get to take in all the info and then do the thing that you feel is &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; (not &lt;em&gt;RIGHT&lt;/em&gt;) and be confident that it is what is best &lt;em&gt;for &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; child.&lt;/em&gt; you know your child better than anyone. If you act in their best interest, you'll never have anything to regret.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet, the closest family member who will see your girl a grand total of 50 hours in a calendar year will still try to tell you what to do and chide you for doing the &quot;wrong&quot; thing. Their opinion should go into the pool with all the other info. Just Smile -n- nod and then stick to your own goals. All things being equal, everything will turn out just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-01-04T16:57:21.770" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T16:57:21.770" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3787" CreationDate="2012-01-04T06:33:19.093" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; was a kid, like 6, I didn't have much veggie that I wouldn't eat . . . which I'm realising is an answer to a different question as i would eat them, but don't remember if I actually &lt;strong&gt;liked&lt;/strong&gt; spinach, greens and mixed veggies. I do know that my current kids are all different in their (dis)like of specific veggies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I think the answer has more social factors than meets the eye. I won't eat very few veggies, so my elementary aged children have broad exposure. The 6yo started eating fried okra and steamed broccoli because, when younger (3 maybe?), her older bro and sis were tearing it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's something out there that they'll like. Once you figure out what it is, tho, be careful not to pile it on. Peeled baby carrots every day for lunch will wear them out on it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T06:33:19.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3847" CreationDate="2012-01-04T06:56:48.070" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, there's a definite age before which this point simply cannot be made. How old a child are we talking about?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming that we're talking about a growing child, say 4, there's a very simple phrase that I used to great success: Treat other people the way you want to be treated.&lt;strong&gt;*&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep your eyes peeled, and you'll have ample opportunity to support both the giver and receiver sides of this statement. All things being equal, it should only take a small handful of interactions before seeing results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example: Marceline snatches a toy from Finn, Finn throws a brick (megablock) at your kid. &quot;You wouldn't like it if Finn took your toy would you? He didn't like it either.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or the flipside &quot;Hey look how happy Finn is that you gave him some of your goldfish! He likes that! You'd like it too, wouldn't you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Truly tho, being considerate in the way you describe (to be consciously thoughtful and observant of other people) is a later concept. 7 yrs old, maybe even older depending on the kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A younger child (4yo) understands Mean and Nice, and they get how to play well with others. They will get that sharing their goldfish with the other kid is nice, but will have no idea how to be observant that the other kid didn't get goldfish and then be thoughtful enough to share them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, unless that Mean and Nice groundwork has been laid as a toddler, you're probably going to have a hard time promoting them from Nice to Considerate when they're school age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;*&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;otherwise known as &quot;The Golden Rule&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-01-04T18:03:35.750" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T18:03:35.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2012-01-04T07:34:13.830" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, Gmail will allow you to 'delegate' email to another address. my 10 yo daughter has an email address that i delegated to my main gmail address. Dropdown at my name on the screen and i can open her mailbox. I do it regularly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, if you notified those services, they would delete or block the accounts. Not personally sure that would be my decision, but that's up to you. Personally, it would depend on how pissed off I was about the lying part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which is what I think you should focus on: lying and subterfuge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My MAIN OVERARCHING concern with my kids is keeping them safe. I tell them what I tell them to keep them safe. &quot;If you don't do what I tell you, then I can't keep you safe. If you're LYING to me, then you're purposefully putting yourself outside of the things i can do to keep you safe.&quot; These are my words, but i've never met anyone that disagrees with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in that same vein, I think you should pull out some Scared Straight. Even tho you've apparently already had the big reveal, you can still do this to drive home the point that you, as the parent, occasionally know what you're talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_predator&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_predator&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29793814/ns/technology_and_science-security/t/internet-predators-continue-multiply/&quot;&gt;http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29793814/ns/technology_and_science-security/t/internet-predators-continue-multiply/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/west-volusia/2011/09/07/internet-predator-sex-sting-in-deltona-nabs-15-men.html&quot;&gt;http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/west-volusia/2011/09/07/internet-predator-sex-sting-in-deltona-nabs-15-men.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1363088/Jailed-The-internet-predator-sex-underage-teenager-approaching-1-000-girls-Facebook.html&quot;&gt;http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1363088/Jailed-The-internet-predator-sex-underage-teenager-approaching-1-000-girls-Facebook.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ad nauseum&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do some creative googling and you can come up with IMO too many of these sad stories. TBPH this is the thing that keeps me up at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now your girl is going to tell you she's had it all under control, right? She's only talked to kids from school? yeah . . . ask her if she's ever talked to a friend of a school friend, or someone that says they met her at, say another school or at someplace outside of school... while it's likely harmless, it will absolutely put the Holy Crap question in her mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that's what it's all about. Because as a parent, you've outlined rules for her to follow to prevent these things at a very low level. You probably didn't even think about specific scenarios when putting the rules in place becuase you knew the rules would take care of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So beyond the interaction, afterwards don't try to put the genie back in the bottle. You simply cannot delete unfettered computer access from her life, and trying to do so would only serve as a wedge. But you can certainly give her enough knowledge to 1) build her own boundaries and 2) come to you when something seems fishy. You might also lay down the law &quot;you can keep the email, but only if i get access&quot; . . . which, of course, is based on a certain level of trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are technical solutions. Social solutions are going to require conversation and negotiation. And with an 11 yo girl, I wish you all the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've denied my own need to have these conversations, so I'm quite interested to know how this turns out for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T07:34:13.830" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3909" CreationDate="2012-01-04T13:35:46.547" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also beleive that if you leave him some quiet toys to play with in his bedroom he will play by himself for that extra 45ish minutes.  Put a digital clock in his room and above the hour number make a sign that says 6.  Tech him that when the numbers match he can come get you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T13:35:46.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3906" CreationDate="2012-01-04T17:54:19.633" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was in college, back in the 80s, I wrote a paper for some psych class on truth and lies. In it, I came to the conclusion that there's several different types of truth and lie. for convenience, I classified them in shades of grey. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When faced with the question &quot;did you take my money?&quot; and the person actually did take the money...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;white truth: &quot;Yes.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;black truth: &quot;Yes, but i thought it was mine.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;white lie: &quot;No, but what if I needed it?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;black lie: &quot;No.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and several variations in between that I won't go into. The point i'm trying to make is that there's a lot more to truths and falsities than people care to admit (lest they reveal the intentions at the core of their personality). It takes quite a while before a kid can understand the subtleties of interpersonal relationships, let alone actively attempt to manipulate them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fake laugh and cry are not about deception (a pretty advanced concept) and all about self-advantage. In other words, they're not trying to get you to give up something you value, they're just trying to get something for themselves. Any child up to about 4 is going to act that way. Deception involves clear comprehension of the other person's point of view. It's actively attempting to thwart the other persons defenses, in many cases so that they give up something that has value. I'm no psychologist, but i'll bet that's not something you'll see till minimum 8 or 9.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So lets say a 3 yo playdate. Finn starts crying and throws a brick (megablock) at the other kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;&quot;Finn, why did you throw the brick at Marceline?&quot;&#xA;&quot;She took my goldfish!&quot;&#xA;&quot;Marceline, did you take his goldfish?&quot;&#xA;&quot;No, I didn't have any!&quot;&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If Finn and Marceline were 13, we would assume that she was lying to stay out of trouble. a 3 yo Marceline just wanted more goldfish, probably took the last 3 out of Finns cup &lt;em&gt;without realizing&lt;/em&gt; (dare i say without caring) that they belonged to someone else. A common interaction that has ZERO to do with lying. It's all about property. And hunger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Punishment? Nah. establish the boundaries &quot;this is your cup, marceline. THAT one is finns&quot; and give em a few more goldfish and this crisis is averted. Of course, if it continues, marceline needs to be dealt with, but that's a different topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;toddlers generally don't understand the interpersonal dynamics that are the foundation to lying. even bad bad toddlers that hide stuff aren't being deceptive, it's all about something they want... even if a 4yo is constantly hiding daddy's cigarettes. they really just want more attention from daddy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: what do you do? when you hear hooves, think horses not zebras. The solution to the problem is a simple one based on the childs personality, not the adults sensibilities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-01-04T18:00:03.027" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T18:00:03.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3907" CreationDate="2012-01-04T18:32:08.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like Ali's answer in the context of the 4yo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, an 8yo is greatly different. An 8yo has a much broader understanding of the world, social expectations and contracts placed upon them, and should understand specific definitions of Right and Wrong. A 4yo barely understands that other people can have ownership of things, too. An 8yo can understand the lesson in Cars (basic respect towards other people) that isn't explicitly spelled out in skywriting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're talking abotu an 8yo that told a 1-off lie about something that could really get them into hot water, then I would suggest dealing with the fact that they lied and move on. Ali's list above would work well, I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, an 8yo that lies regularly is a problem beyond in/consequence. even inconsequential lies are consequential at that point. I would recommend going back to the drawing board and attempting to establish what the &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; problem is and whether or not they understand socially Right and Wrong. Either way, it's probably time to seek a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Appropriate discipline? Man, you know your kids better than I do. What has worked for me with all 5 of my kids is spanking. The only time they get the hand is if they lie. Consequently it rarely happens. 1x a year maybe... matter of fact, i don't think i had to spank the 8 at all in 2011.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But again: your kids. What works for me may (probably) not work for you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-01-04T18:39:42.103" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T18:39:42.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2012-01-04T19:34:34.917" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not being funny, but being dumped on like you say is the same as an adolescent girl having her first period without being told it was coming. It's a jarring shock that you have to deal with forevermore without having any clue that it was coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a firm believer that there should be parenting licenses. Have a baby sure, but you're not allowed to be a parent until you pass the test. (Yes, I know it will never happen.) Your parents would have failed that test. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's how a child should be prepared for adulthood. It is my answer and it is absolutely how. All other how's are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; how.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, maybe not. Because my method is similar to what other people have said here: serial preparation. I think the difference tho is that I have absolute confirmation that my method works . . . i have a 20 yo that has successfully made the transition, and i have school-agers that are experiencing what i told him when he was their age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For lack of a better phrase, it's the &quot;frog on a hotplate&quot; method. You've essentially got from age 4-18 to prepare them for it. Spread it out and there's no culture shock at the end. Additionally, they'll be happy about it because they will have seen years of work on a number of goals finally come together. After 18 yrs of slowly turning up the heat, they're cooked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the parent, you have to have a long term mentality. Yes there are day to day and week to week things, but you have to be prepared, over the years, to advance the kid from one thing to the next based on who they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that one of my daughters is 10, i'm starting to explain the series of events in young life  and where they lead... lets take homework for example... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in 1st grade, homework is not about the lesson, it's about tangible responsibility. keeping the folder in the backpack and getting it to and from home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in 3rd grade, it's not about the lesson, it's about the work responsibility. It's more about getting the work done than learning the lesson.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in middle school, it's not about the lesson, it's about the personal responsibility. Taking it upon yourself to do the work and turn it in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in high school, it's about the lesson . . . but it's the culmination of years of conditioning to develop study habits. in earlier grades, you always had 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances to do the homework. In HS, if you don't turn it in, the teacher doesn't care. they have 300 students a day. You're a number. If you come up to them &quot;what can i do to get my grade up&quot; they'll look you up on the database and say &quot;turn your homework in.&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in college, it's about the lesson. without the previous 10-12 years establishing study habits, you won't be able to learn the material. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in the workplace . . . Homework -&gt; Study Habits -&gt; Work Ethic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Childhood is rife with these kinds of series. up to a certain age, they don't need to know about it. but at the point where they can comprehend such a grand plan, they need to be told and they need to understand that at some point it's on them to make decisions. at 6, their homework is my problem. at 16 it's their problem. Why? &quot;Because if you'd been doing your homework from the beginning, instead of lying about doing it so you could do whatever else, you wouldnt be having such a motivation problem doing it now.&quot; (Sound like the voice of experience? LOL)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody ever said jacks**t to me about post-hs life until I was a Jr in hs. I hadn't been thinking about it and I certainly hadn't planned for it. That sucked. But my kids are different, at 4-5 we start working on age-appropriate tasks that lead to other things down the line. At 10-12, I started mentioning graduation because like it or not, for a 10yo it's a goal. It's inevitable. at 13-14, we're spending HS honing those skills and learning about the real world . . . ex: first job, save money, get a car, party in your car as a hs senior, drive to uni, upgrade job, upgrade car, graduate uni, drive 2nd car to first day at work. of course that's the perfect world, but whos to say you shouldn't try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: the kid needs to be told, in chunks, as appropriate, over the span of years, the things that will be expected of them when they are to enter the real world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T19:34:34.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3907" CreationDate="2012-01-04T22:06:25.183" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a couple good answers about the punishment side of discipline, just don't forget about the reward side as well.  If they're honest about something without having to be interrogated, go lenient on them, or even let it slide with just a discussion and a promise from them to do better.  It works amazingly well, so much that we've had to be careful not to go too far the other way.  For example, my son who had been lying about pooping his pants ended up proudly announcing it instead of stopping doing it.  One problem at a time though, right? :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-01-04T22:06:25.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3629" CreationDate="2012-01-05T03:59:24.523" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Don't&lt;/em&gt; tell your child &quot;they will have to do a job they will hate.&quot;  Not because it's &quot;protecting their innocence&quot; or whatever, but because &lt;strong&gt;it isn't true.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of jobs out there, at all types of skill levels.  You have to learn to make your job enjoyable to you, or to find one that is -- and that of course, is beyond the scope of this website.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But turn the child onto reality.  See the janitor?  He's doing that job every day.  Why?  He chose it.  The shopkeep?  She is doing that job every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The man in the suit?  He's doing that job every day.  The president?  He's doing that job every day.  Usher?  He's doing that job every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;SO that's the reality.  People have different jobs.  Some people love their jobs.  Some people don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to take steps towards the job &lt;em&gt;you want&lt;/em&gt; from an early age.  So, if you want to be an engineer, start being &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; sharp with maths (like no less than 98% on ANYTHING, and do all the practice problems &lt;strong&gt;twice&lt;/strong&gt; to get that), and start building things out of popsicle sticks and lego.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T03:59:24.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3928" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-05T08:27:16.587" Score="6" ViewCount="1019" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother's daughter is 6 years old. She is very smart and picks up things very easily. But when it comes to handwriting, she is not doing good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What techniques or tools can we give her in order to improve her handwriting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="620" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-05T11:51:55.887" LastActivityDate="2012-08-10T14:12:50.853" Title="How can a pre-schooler improve her handwriting skills?" Tags="|primary-schooler|fine-motor-skills|handwriting|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3929" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-01-05T09:13:13.123" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-05T09:13:13.123" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T09:13:13.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3930" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-01-05T09:13:13.123" Score="0" Body="Swaddling is the act of wrapping a soft blanket around the baby to restrict movement. Many children are calmed by this, but some don't like to be swaddled." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-05T09:13:13.123" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T09:13:13.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-01-05T09:33:39.050" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;6 to 7 years old kids are still too young to learn how to write. That's because the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myelin&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;myelin sheaths&lt;/a&gt; that increase the efficiency of neurons are still being build till age of 12. The myelination level can be more advanced for some kids which explain why some are advanced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The children can still learn to read and write, but often in pain. The main problem I see with this is that in societies where performance is legion, we often want our children to walk upon one year of age and speak fluently in two years. Since it's biologically difficult or even impossible, parents create a frustration in children who can not achieve what they are expected to do. You can disgust the child to learn in these conditions and make it a procrastinator in power: a real time bomb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We must therefore remain cautious and follow the stages of child development. Instead of worrying about performance, worrying about his well being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2 cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2003" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T09:33:39.050" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3932" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4382" CreationDate="2012-01-05T10:07:51.063" Score="3" ViewCount="2678" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our little boy is 2 years old, and we are still giving him a large amount of formula milk at bed time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is not a good eater, and we don't want him to get hungry in the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it recommended to give extra milk (he often has at least 15 fl oz), or to let him go hungry so he is forced to eat his food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastActivityDate="2020-10-01T15:04:52.343" Title="Should extra milk be given to 2-year-old at bedtime if not eating solids well during the day" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3932" CreationDate="2012-01-05T12:16:37.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once he drinks your pediatricians quote of whole milk and maybe a bit more he has to learn that meals are meals and really food is what big boys eat.  Ensure that he does his best at dinner, reminding him that breakfast is far way.  Then slowly wean him off of snack (if bed time is many hours after dinner obviously don't take snack away entirely) and convert that snack to include solid food.  He is a person and needs to eat like one, not like a baby any longer.  This is not making him grow up too fast, it is teaching him proper eating habits while you still have the power to interviner in his activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T12:16:37.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-01-05T12:19:11.247" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to remind her every time she is trying to write or color to hold her pencil properly.  If she doesn't develop proper skills now she will have trouble working out of them (like any habit). I found with my daughter who had the same problem that she loved the triangle pencil grip (harder to find then the circle ones which do nothing.)  Just encourage, not force and she will slowly incorporate the write hold into her life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well, writing is a fine motor skill, so try to work on other fine motor skills aside from writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="1889" LastEditDate="2012-01-11T18:29:50.913" LastActivityDate="2012-01-11T18:29:50.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-01-05T12:49:06.347" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I fully agree with @Pierre's answer. Don't try to &quot;improve&quot; her handwriting. That may seem to work in the short term, and do much damage in the long term. At this age, there can be huge differences in physical development between individual children, which have nothing to do with &quot;intelligence&quot; or &quot;skills&quot; or anything, and which - under normal circumstances - are bound to even up in a couple of years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Namely, a lot of children aren't yet capable of controlling the small, delicate movements which are required for writing with a &quot;normal&quot; pen in &quot;normal&quot; size. Try giving her a bigger, thicker pen, and let her write big letters - that way she can practice the movements in large scale, which may be more comfortable to her, and less stressing for her muscles and nervous system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Btw who says she is &quot;not doing good&quot;? Teacher? You? Other relatives? ... And based on / compared to what? As you say, she is a preschooler so there shouldn't be any pressure on this issue even from the school (or so I imagine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-05T12:55:21.790" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T12:55:21.790" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3906" CreationDate="2012-01-05T13:31:40.913" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few additional thoughts to @monsto's answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Roughly till the age of 7 (+-3), children live in a &lt;em&gt;magical&lt;/em&gt; world, which is very different from how we adults experience (or seem to experience) things. Their world is shaped by their own thoughts, desires, images much more than by some solid &quot;objective&quot;, &quot;external&quot; reality. Very often, they are &lt;em&gt;confabulating&lt;/em&gt; this world and its events, rather than &lt;em&gt;describing&lt;/em&gt; as we would expect. Just recently, during the holiday season, my younger daughter told us that she saw an elf peering through the window, and they both hailed each other. Was she making up a story? Yes. Was she lying? Absolutely not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, you might say, this is a cute little story. Let's see another one. Jim notices that someone took money from his coat pocket, and they find out it was his elder son Joe (8). They actually find the missing money in Joe's bag. When asked &quot;did you take Dad's money?&quot;, Joe says no. Is he lying? By adult categories, yes. However, by child categories, it is a very different story. Joe recently got a little sister, Sarah. Naturally, a lot of attention and energy in the family is now shifted from him to Sarah, which is very frustrating to him. Stealing is a (misguided) attempt to get more attention and care from his dad. When confronted with the question, he wishes he had never done it, and expresses this wish by saying &quot;no&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line is, it is often too easy and tempting to apply adult terms and categories to what children do and say, and act out of these classifications. However, children aren't little adults. Without actually understanding (or rather, feeling into) their situation and motives, it is dangerous to judge (much less to punish) them. Moreover, since the pace of personal development is extremely varied between individual children, 3 children of the same biological age can be on very different cognitive / emotional / social levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T13:31:40.913" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3154" CreationDate="2012-01-05T14:04:56.600" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an addition to what already has been mentioned in other answers, there is a definite physical factor in play here too. Infants' arms simply are too short compared to their torso to reach down there well. Their arms grow long enough roughly around the age of 4, making them capable of cleaning themselves comfortably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T14:04:56.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3932" CreationDate="2012-01-05T18:13:29.310" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is old enough to verbally communicate that he wants bobo at bedtime, then he's old enough to understand you telling him to eat his dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not going to initiate direct change of this habit without a significant amount of stress. what you can do tho is change it indirectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the goal is better timing for getting full, you might load up at dinner on foods he likes (meal foods, not fun, snacky (read: processed) foods) and completely change brands of formula. you would then, &lt;em&gt;indirectly&lt;/em&gt; entice him to change his habit. it would probably result in shifting his sleep habits and diaper changes as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My opinion is that I don't think you should force the issue. I'm generally not a fan of attempts to line-up a baby, in some way, with parental sensibilities. Kids this age are driven as much by what their body is telling them as they are by habit. They age (mentally) quick at this age (a baby's brain is more active at ~2-2.5 yrs than at any other time in life) and my opinion is that you should be patient. I'll bet that if you gave it some time (unless this has already been going on for weeks or a couple months) that the routine will change soon enough anyway... when their body is ready... like the next growth spurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T18:13:29.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-01-05T18:58:43.683" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While i agree with Pierre and Péter, sometimes parents feel like &quot;you're either getting better or you're getting worse&quot;; that if you're not doing anything to make it good, that you're letting it get bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that spirit, one thing you could do would be to ask the niece, daily, to write something general about her day: what play time was like, what they had for lunch, thinks like that. This would probably be best timed right after school and will allow THE CHILD to make it better thru practice, as opposed to YOU making it better for them thru whatever method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there are several caveats here... Simple encouragement may be enough to get them started but if it isn't, then you can't force the issue in the slightest. Ask, but don't &quot;make time for their daily journal&quot;. They have to want to do it on their own or it turns into a frustrating chore. Frustration leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to... well nevermind that, but you don't want her hating anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I'm not a fan of pushing children along a derived path which kind of goes with what the other guys said. All things being equal, children's bodies will develop all the appropriate skills &lt;em&gt;in time.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my favorite comedians (Louis CK) had a bit that applies here. He talked about people fumbling with their phones and becoming frustrated with impatience. then he hollers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;GIVE IT A SECOND. Will you give it a second? it's going to &lt;strong&gt;SPACE&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  can you give it a second to get back from space?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is that in the era of instant total gratification, sometimes it takes real effort to be patient. This is one of those times where I think the payoff from patience and diligence (watching to see if it becomes a long term issue) is worth more than the downside of immediate action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;Louis CK bit on patiences: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&amp;amp;v=8r1CZTLk-Gk#t=85s&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&amp;amp;v=8r1CZTLk-Gk#t=85s&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T18:58:43.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3867" CreationDate="2012-01-05T19:11:29.513" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Time for a lesson in independence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are the blankets where she can reach them? or are they on her bed but she's just beeing needy? How long as this been going on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the info that you gave, I would suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keeping the blankies where she can get them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she hollers for it, come in the room and turn the light on. yes it will wake everyone up, but there's a point.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Direct her, curtly, to get out of bed and get her blanket.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;get out of bed. you know where the blankets are, go over there and get one. Good. Take it over to your bed, spread it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;let her start and try for a bit &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; help as needed. then when she's back in bed and comfy, here's the lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;See what you did? You wanted your blanket and there it is, you did it yourself. You know where your blankets are and you can get them yourself. You don't need me for that because it wakes everyone up. Ok? Mwa. Ganight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole reason for being curt is it's a simple way to express your displeasure without much longevity. a couple nights of that should make the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[edit] you may wind up with a bunch of blankets to fold up every day, but that's a small price for you to pay for her sense of independence and the well-being of the others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-05T19:11:29.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2012-01-06T02:28:25.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recommend finding a school with a gifted and talented instructor that will help challenge your child. That has worked well for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We initially sent our child to a gifted and talented school, but quickly learned two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lots of (IMHO) parents living way to vicariously through their kids and putting way too much competition on things. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Way too much homework.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We finally found a school that simply offered the extra challenge work rather than making that a core part of their curriculum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As our child is now older, we find that he now finds his own little areas of interest that he can challenge himself with on his own time. Which is really great for any child...gifted or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2012-07-10T16:00:15.187" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T16:00:15.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-01-06T02:48:18.187" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have mentioned, writing is a complex and difficult skill that children are often not ready for at 5-6 years of age. It is a fine motor skill which are generally developed later than gross motor skills. I would suggest having her engage in other fine motor activities, one example is building with Legos. Also, coloring, or even playing with a Barbie doll, particularly dressing and undressing it are all good fine motor skills. An increase in fine motor skills will most likely increase her writing skills as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T02:48:18.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3943" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-06T04:00:08.703" Score="-9" ViewCount="3007" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, my mom never hits me; I want to be clear on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother 13, and I, 15 got into a fight at McDonalds. We threw ketchup at each other and I accidentally got some on on a nearby woman. My mother had to reimburse the woman for the damage. My mother freaked out and humiliated us in McDonalds by calling my brother and myself immature babies. While leaving McDonalds, she commented on how she should get us pacifiers, pampers, and a playpen. People were staring at us as if she was correct. On the car ride home, she continued to comment on how when she goes to Wal-mart, she will buy us a crib and stuff. She keeps telling me how we made her look like a bad mother. She is being a total b*&lt;em&gt;*&lt;/em&gt; to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she has taken away my X-box, iPod, and Cell Phone. She has grounded me and I can't go out on weekends now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can I turn her into CPS for abuse for saying those things to me? Isn't it slander or something about saying lies about someone? Saying I need pampers makes me look bad in public. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record, my brother started this fight, not me. It is not fair that she is doing this. She took away my games, my iPod, my cell phone and I can't go out now because of that b*&lt;em&gt;*&lt;/em&gt;. Now she won't let me take Driver's Ed. She says I am too immature to drive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can't CPS make her a better mom or tell her to chill out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2071" LastEditorUserId="95" LastEditDate="2012-01-06T17:53:34.190" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T18:53:33.533" Title="Is this considered child abuse" Tags="|teen|discipline|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2012-01-06T20:44:46.037" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3943" CreationDate="2012-01-06T04:42:07.347" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well... while publicly yelling might have been a bit harsh, I don't think it counts as &lt;em&gt;child abuse&lt;/em&gt; per se.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might even be somewhat justified.  You got into a fight with your younger brother, threw ketchup around (really?), damaged other people's property, and publicly embarrassed your mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try maintaining your cool next time, and act as a better role model for your younger brother.  If you can repeatedly demonstrate that you're capable of stepping away from fights and staying calm, even if the other person started it, your mother might change her mind and 'chill out'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2072" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T04:42:07.347" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3943" CreationDate="2012-01-06T06:20:41.337" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You do not realize how lucky you are to have x box, iPod, and cell. Thank you mother for these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are people who cannot afford the ketchup. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You already made yourself look bad in public by throwing the ketchup. You need to rethink the incident and understand that you were at fault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your mother will be a better mother when she teaches both of you how to behave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, your mother did not abuse you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T06:20:41.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3943" CreationDate="2012-01-06T06:53:08.280" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, disciplining your child after an act of immaturity is not considered child abuse. So sorry. You can, however, phone CPS and indicate how your mother retaliated when you humiliated her by humiliating you. You can also complain how she took away your hard-earned personal belongings such as iPod, X-Box, cell phone, etc. without consent - she had no right over them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;CPS CAN make her a better mother. After all, if they do take you seriously, you might end up becoming the ward of the state for a couple of days, months, or even years. You will be joined by your brother, and your mother would be freed of all responsibility towards you. You do not have to listen to her anymore, ever. You also do not (cannot) see her again. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that you will have access to any of their assets, but not to worry, us tax-payers will be happy to feed your sense of entitlement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please feel free to call the CPS and humor them. Those people need a laugh after they deal with calls from people who find kids who are not fed or clothed and are instead beaten and violated in unspeakable ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2014-10-28T18:53:33.533" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T18:53:33.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3943" CreationDate="2012-01-06T08:58:43.750" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saying I need pampers makes me look bad in public.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fighting with your brother in public and throwing ketchup around made &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; look bad in public - have you considered that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record, my brother started this fight, not me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, that is impossible to judge responsibly based solely on your own account. We should hear your brother's version of the story as well (and probably your mom's too) in order to have a better understanding of what actually happened. And it is not even enough to know what happened that day - we should know a lot of your family background and past too, back to several years, to get the full picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, it doesn't really matter who started it. You aren't an automaton who must act in a deterministic manner every time when receiving the same input. You are a human being, free to consider your choices, and their possible outcomes, before acting upon a stimulus. Use that power - that's what makes you human. Otherwise, other people (including your younger brother) can basically &lt;em&gt;control&lt;/em&gt; you: they learn that whenever they insult or provoke you in specific ways, you are bound to react predictably, out of anger. And you can rest assured that they will use this knowledge whenever they benefit from it, or whenever they are simply bored and want to have some fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to be like that as a teenager and well into my twenties. I have an elder brother, and later I had a coworker, who was a genius in pissing other people off. And he did practice a lot on everyone in our team, but maybe most of all on me. After a while, I started to feel as if there was a big fat red button on my forehead with the text &amp;quot;Showtime!&amp;quot; on it, and my coworker, whenever he was feeling depressed or bored, just came and pushed it, then watched the show grinning... it was a very bad feeling. So I decided to defuse that button, and eventually I succeeded, first to make it smaller... then gradually slow and minimize its effects... by now, I managed to remove it almost completely. I still act out of anger sometimes, but very rarely, and even then I can control myself so that I won't hurt or embarrass other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not easy to learn how to stay calm and not react out of anger in such a situation. It takes years of practice and effort. But ultimately, you will benefit from it immensely - and so everyone else around you. In the short term, your iPod and cell phone may not be confiscated next time - in the long term, you will become a fuller, happier person. I can tell you from personal experience this is worth the effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Update&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing: the very few occasions when I get angry are almost always triggered by my children nowadays. Raising children is a tremendous - and bloody difficult - test on controlling our anger, among others. I think all of us parents have had some bad moments when we lost our temper, and later regretted that. Including, most probably, your mom too. Yes, shouting at you in public was most likely an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration from her part. And yes, she probably regrets it by now, but feels helpless and out of ideas how to influence you and your brother for the better. And yes, she would most probably benefit from practicing &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;anger management&lt;/a&gt; as well as you. You may want to talk to her about this - but only &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; - not &lt;em&gt;instead of&lt;/em&gt; - committing to make some progress in it yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T17:37:47.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3943" CreationDate="2012-01-06T10:10:05.447" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No, this is not child abuse, this is parenting.&lt;/strong&gt;  This is you having to deal with the direct consequences of your own poor actions and bad decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If things really happened the way you describe, then you owe your mother a very sincere apology, and you need to learn to not allow a disagreement with your brother to escalate to a point where you throw food at strangers in a restaurant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You deeply embarrassed your mother&lt;/strong&gt; by making it look as if she never taught you any good behavior. (And you do it again by coming here and calling her a bitch.) It is her good and proper right to take measures to teach you not to behave that badly again. You behaved like an infant, so she's totally right to treat you like one. And infants don't get to play computer games or drive cars. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk about first-world problems. &lt;strong&gt;You should be ashamed of yourself!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T10:10:05.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2012-01-06T13:25:21.577" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My own experience from both sides has positives and negatives:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was very lucky in that I had a small school and very enthusiastic teachers who volunteered their own time to provide me with more input, such that I was happily sitting tests for 14 year olds by the age of 9, getting extra classes on things like calculus, latin etc and generally getting all the support I could ask for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of my own children, my eldest is very clever, but I have had major problems in getting his school to support any additional education. They are too busy to help, and when I stated my aim to add home education in some of my specific subjects they were against that approach (as it would make it harder to have a homogenous class if they have outliers. They have funding from the government to assist under-achievers, but not for anyone ahead of the curve)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as I can't afford to send him to another school it is very frustrating for me. I have ended up providing some extra schooling in a few subjects and have asked him to try and avoid looking bored in those classes at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T13:25:21.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3950" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-06T13:43:05.737" Score="14" ViewCount="3307" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old niece who is 'kind of' smart, (i.e. was playing solitaire online before her 3rd birthday and is now doing 4 digit addition/subtraction and multiplication up to 5's; and reads chapter books,etc.), has problems being corrected.  She had a 'meltdown' last week when she got 1 &lt;strong&gt;(ONE)&lt;/strong&gt; problem of 45 wrong (&gt;,&amp;lt;,= worksheet)!  She loves to read and is self-motivated to do math, writing, etc.  However, she has serious issues whenever she's corrected.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there some relationship between 'smart' kids and emotional dysfunction, for want of a much better term?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help!    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2074" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-06T15:48:59.497" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T16:33:13.753" Title="How do you address a 5 year old that has problems accepting corrections?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|gifted|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3950" CreationDate="2012-01-06T14:41:40.313" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, there is a relationship between being very advanced and perfectionism, especially in the first child.  she is used to getting everything correct so when she doesn't it is frusterating.  What I did with my child is as follows.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I made mistakes (sometimes on purpose) and narrated as I corrected myself and sometimes even laughed at myself ensuring that she understood even mommies make mistakes. &#xA;I stressed the ones she got right, and told her that she did not have to correct the one she got wrong.&#xA;I encouraged her to do other things as well (chess is good, as it used the skills she knows but teaches her how to loose).  She SHOULD NOT only be doing academics, even if that is what she enjoys.&#xA;We make fun of her when she is doing way advanced things telling her she knows too much and needs to watch more TV (this only works with a certain type of kid).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.  We were lucky this year to have a teacher that dealt with this very well and has taught her to accept criticism. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T14:41:40.313" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3899" CreationDate="2012-01-06T14:49:38.480" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect that she is waking during the night because she is hungry. Babies have growth spurts at about 2, 3, and 6 weeks, then 3 and 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A hungry baby will not sleep well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would suggest adding in a night time feed. Try it for a week and see if this gets her to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We removed the pacifier from our baby at about this time and never went back. She didn't miss it and I didn't miss sleeping propped up against the cot waking up every 15 minutes when the pacifier fell out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also had a week of sleeping through the night at about three months. It was another five months before we had our next one!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T14:49:38.480" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3950" CreationDate="2012-01-06T16:29:11.527" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing a parent or teacher can do in this situation is to praise the effort instead of the result, and continue to give her tasks that are just beyond her reach.  Just like any other skill, the best way to improve at handling mistakes is to get a lot of practice at it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there is nothing inherently wrong with striving for perfection.  The problem comes when your self esteem is tied up in attaining it, which can lead to working below your potential in order to avoid making mistakes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T16:29:11.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3954" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-06T21:24:43.973" Score="2" ViewCount="375" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old has a habit of not eating her dinner. It's been our policy to tell her if she's not going to eat, she can just go to bed. Sometimes she's happy to do that, so we wanted to further discourage the no-eating behavior by saying if you don't eat your dinner, you can't have a snack the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, we ended up making a little fridge magnet with a red side and a green side (since she knows colors and what red/green mean) and if she eats her dinner, we will turn it to the green side so that the next day she can look at it, know she can have a snack that day, and associate it to having eaten the night before. and of course, the opposite for not eating. She's picked up on the concept very quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a good technique? Part of me feels there's something about this that is going to backfire, or end up contributing to some negative behavior. Anybody tried this before? Anything in child psychology studies?? If it works for dinner time, could the same technique be used for other things like taking naps, cleaning room, etc?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="415" LastEditorUserId="415" LastEditDate="2012-01-07T17:06:39.580" LastActivityDate="2012-01-07T17:06:39.580" Title="Using a visual device to indicate good/bad behavior status for toddlers" Tags="|toddler|behavior|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3954" CreationDate="2012-01-06T21:48:23.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know of any studies about these, but my gut says that these kinds of indicators or tokens (a &quot;Yes/No&quot; or &quot;Traffic Light&quot; indicator) are excellent for children who haven't yet cognitively developed the ability to defer rewards, because the token (or indicator) becomes indicative of the reward or consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While she may not be able to associate &quot;I didn't eat dinner last night, so I can't have a snack today&quot;, she can associate &quot;I didn't eat dinner, so I got a red light&quot; and &quot;I have a red light, so I can't have a snack.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're also good for passing indicators between places, for example as a sort of &quot;daily report&quot; of her behavior during the day at day care or a babysitter's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important part is that there's some sort of obvious visual or physical indicator that's presented immediately upon earning a particular reward or consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, my daughter's Kindergarten teacher used to send &quot;red/yellow/green&quot; light reports home every day with every student.  Since the kids colored their own circles (I'm sure she checked to make sure the correct circle was colored :-) ) and had them write their own names on them, it helped them with self-reflection and writing practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T21:48:23.453" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3954" CreationDate="2012-01-06T21:48:51.893" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're right, many parts of this will likely backfire on you, but not the one you expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a toddler at 3, the negative re-enforcement should be more immediate. Waiting an entire day for the punishment to occur does not tie the cause and effect together tightly enough. The red/green isn't going to be the part that causes the problem, it's the immediacy of the consequences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't make the consequence 'going to bed'. You're creating another problem by associating negativity with what should be a happy, peaceful time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever usually happens right after dinner that your child enjoys, remove that privilege and  make that a consequence of no dinner. Additionally, add a reward for when your child DOES eat dinner as you expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, your child should be in control of how much they eat. They won't starve; I promise. Just make sure that after a non-eaten dinner that the only other option is water. If your child can eat a small amount and be satisfied until morning, there's no reason to force more food into their stomach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2076" LastActivityDate="2012-01-06T21:48:51.893" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3954" CreationDate="2012-01-07T11:46:12.803" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Never force a child to eat&lt;/strong&gt;. If a child doesn't want to eat anymore, it's because he is full (biologically). It's an important biological response to preserve in order to prevent him from having eating disorders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a problem with wasting food (that's a problem I personnaly have), teach your child to &lt;em&gt;collect the right amount of food&lt;/em&gt; in his plate. Start to teach that when (s)he getting older (from 5 to 6 year old when (s)he is at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_cognitive_development#Concrete_operational_stage&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;concrete operational stage&lt;/a&gt; to understand).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why force a child to eat anyway?&lt;/strong&gt; Ask yourself the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Because you think he is still hungry? How can you do that? Because you &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; it? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Because you have been teached yourself that you should finish your plate? Because it's like that in your family since decades? Are you repeating without trying to understand a procedure you learn in your education?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are how forcing your kids to eat when they are not hungry anymore can &lt;strong&gt;harm&lt;/strong&gt; them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You are creating a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_conditioning&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;classical conditionning&lt;/a&gt; with the food making the problem worse. Force them to eat can help make certain foods repulsive. I was forced to eat tomato soup (cold, because I could not leave the table as I had not finished) and I have generalized this disgust at everything with tomato. What a problem for the kid of an immigrant Italian mother! This is called a generalized conditioned behavior (Hovland, 1937, can't find the link to the study, I'm sorry, but it's a &quot;classic&quot; one).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You are &lt;em&gt;disconnecting&lt;/em&gt; your kid's physical satiety feelings from his neocortex (sort of rational mind). This means your are teaching him how to ignore those feelings in his body to replace it by rules you invented (or your are repeating). This can potentially harm him on the long term. If your kid doesn't listen to what his body is telling him (&quot;Hey I'm not hungry anymore, stop eating those potatoes&quot;), he will eat more than what his organism need. This will lead to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momfinds.com/2011/are-you-afraid-to-talk-to-your-children-about-weight/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;potential overweight&lt;/a&gt;. In some case disorders can be much more problematic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kids are the most important things in the world and it's normal that you want them to be healthy. But you should always question education &quot;methodologies&quot; you learn yourself with what really works in practice. In fact, I learnt that us, humans, replaced many biological behaviors by invented &quot;rational&quot; behaviors. We must (re)learn to trust our body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Important note&lt;/em&gt;: in some particular cases (when health is in danger) it is recommended to force your children to eat, but that indication should always come from medical specialists. Also if you are unsure what to do, it's always advised to ask an expert (which I'm not!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2003" LastEditorDisplayName="user2003" LastEditDate="2012-01-07T14:41:23.990" LastActivityDate="2012-01-07T14:41:23.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3950" CreationDate="2012-01-07T12:22:19.500" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your story reminds me one of typical case with smart kids that you can have with smart kids that are being told they are smart all the time. I don't say it is your case, but this answer may help people in the same situation: kids refuses bad judgement of their performance or become perfectionist (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_%28psychology%29&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;perfectionism&lt;/a&gt; can become a pathology).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To illustrate why it is a problem, let's take the &lt;em&gt;opposite&lt;/em&gt;: Someone tells his kid  all the time he sucks. Even in front of other people. What happens is classic: the kid tend to start to believing it. He really thinks he sucks. This (irrational) feeling will follow him for the rest of their life. He &lt;em&gt;modeled&lt;/em&gt; his kid to have very bad self-esteem. This will potentially lead to psychological problems in the future such as depression or anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Telling your kids all the time he is so smart (or worse, smarter than the others), may lead to the same type of problems: too high self-esteem. This leads to the behavior you describe. The real problem with that, is that your kid is going to face failure. This is where &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;your kid will suffer&lt;/a&gt;. A lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another problem you could face is &amp;quot;temporary&amp;quot; smart kids. They are just a bit advanced on their cognitive abilities by having more &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myelin&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;myelin stealth&lt;/a&gt; than average. That stabilizes at age of 12. A kid can be smarter at a certain age, then stabilize at another... biologically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what to do? Robin summarize it pretty well in one article on the subject &lt;a href=&quot;http://robin.hubpages.com/hub/How_should_we_praise_our_children&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;he wrotes&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key to praise is specificity and encouragement of effort, rather than the token, &amp;quot;Great job, Timmy! You are so smart!&amp;quot;. Instead, a teacher may say, &amp;quot;I noticed you really thought about how you were going to construct that paragraph, Timmy,&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Look at the vibrant colors in that picture. I notice how precise your strokes are.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The later examples encourages the child to keep up the effort and work toward their goal rather than stopping the process because their work is already great. What is the motivation for the child to continue a project if an authority figure has already given it the thumbs up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2003" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-07T12:22:19.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3950" CreationDate="2012-01-07T18:11:30.863" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Dealing with emotional intensity&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://giftedkids.about.com/od/socialemotionalissues/qt/emotion_coping.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;'Gifted' children often experience intense emotions&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the linked article suggests helping the child scale-out their reactions.  It says to sit down with the child, and have them write a number from 1 to 10 on things that could happen, with 10 being the worst thing that could ever happen, and 1 being not so bad:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Losing the 'Tangled' DVD&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Daddy forgetting to water the plants and all the plants dying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Falling down from your bike and scraping your knee&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting a math problem wrong&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's supposed to help the child scale out their reactions, to be proportional to the thing they are experiencing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Using tact when correcting&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the other question is &lt;em&gt;how are you correcting her&lt;/em&gt;?  I think you need to treat her like a Senior Engineer - ie be very tactful if she's overreacting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, you actually don't need to correct her.  You just need to point out that &quot;you don't think something is right&quot;, and suggest which one.  Let her find the error.  And if she asks &quot;why isn't it right?&quot; you can then respond with (&quot;1234 + 1234 is 2468, I believe.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Accepting that sometimes you won't get something&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While aiming for perfection is great, the reality is you &lt;em&gt;won't&lt;/em&gt; hit the ball every time.  Sometimes children get discouraged, and I learned the following kind of works:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;* (cheerful tone)&#xA;Sometimes you get it, sometimes you don't.&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-01-07T18:11:30.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3961" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4096" CreationDate="2012-01-07T19:53:08.943" Score="15" ViewCount="9026" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was 6 months old, she liked to crawl over to our floor lamp and play with it (which is dangerous).  Instead of trying to correct her behavior, we simply moved the lamp behind a child gate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she is 10 months old, and she likes playing with our flashy, blinky internet router.  We can't really move it, so we spent a week constantly correcting her when she went to play with it.  She seems to have learned not to touch it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, what age is average for kids to relate cause and effect, and to be able to learn from discipline?  Could she have learned not to touch the lamp as a 6 month old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2013-08-10T07:56:47.640" Title="At what age can children understand and respond well to discipline?" Tags="|toddler|infant|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3962" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3964" CreationDate="2012-01-07T20:05:33.103" Score="23" ViewCount="41719" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today when my daughter took a bath I wanted to go check on a thing, but of course couldn't since I was watching her. Of course it depends on the child, but in general at what age do you  think you can leave the child to play in the tub (with not too much water) to go, say to fetch the phone or similar?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2012-01-07T21:22:24.937" LastActivityDate="2022-05-24T13:43:18.370" Title="At what age can you leave the child in the bathtub?" Tags="|safety|bathing|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3961" CreationDate="2012-01-07T20:20:47.017" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cause and effect comes only much later, and it is difficult to talk about average since there are so big individual differences. But a 1-1,5 years old kid can surely learn (after many repetitions) that something is not allowed. No need to explain her any details, just firmly say &quot;No&quot; and remove her from the forbidden place. You need to be alert, but eventually she will give up :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most probably younger babies can learn too, but at that age it is usually not an issue as they can't yet move that much :-) I don't have the time now, but it may be worth to google for Piaget who may have some more concrete study results regarding this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-01-07T20:20:47.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3962" CreationDate="2012-01-07T21:17:19.483" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/112/2/437.full&quot;&gt;recommends the age of 4&lt;/a&gt; before children are allowed to bathe alone; a quick Google search will tell you that many parents start around that age. However, usually parents who leave their kids alone make sure that they have no music on and can hear the child clearly wherever they are. They also check in on the child every few minutes. As a parent, I am sure you'd agree that if the kid is making noise, it's probably fine. I wouldn't recommend going to answer the phone — it is quite distracting and you can &quot;forget&quot; about how quickly the time passes or fail to realize that your child is no longer making noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, note, that children are quite capable of turning the water tap on (unless it is really high or something). They might not know how to stop it or be too scared (suppose if they turned on scalding hot water).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a personal story: my mother left our 14-month old daughter in the bathroom alone. My mother had just finished bathing her and clothing her, when she realized that she had forgotten her diaper. She went to get her diaper - and did nothing else - to come back to find that our daughter had locked herself in the bathroom. Our bathroom is quite small, and the vanity drawers, when open, prevent the bathroom door from being opened. Our daughter had closed the bathroom door (she does that sometimes) and then proceeded to open the vanity drawers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter freaked out because she could not get out anymore, and all we could see of her was from a tiny little crack. She is well aware on how to close the drawers (on a normal day anyway), but she was scared enough that she just stood there and did nothing. It took us a full 15 minutes to make our way in to get her out. Had she been old enough to get in and out of the tub, or to turn the water on, she easily could have drowned or seriously injured herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids do the darnest things and get into the strangest messes. Don't test them. No phone call, not even the one to tell you that you've won a million dollars, is worth your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-31T19:27:38.883" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T19:27:38.883" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3965" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3995" CreationDate="2012-01-08T17:08:12.637" Score="5" ViewCount="320" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's time for potty-training, but we have trouble finding a good potty. We first bought one that plays music, but it's just to big, she basically falls down into it when sitting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We looked for a long time until we found one that was better in that respect, but that one has a &quot;pee-guard&quot;-bit that is a bit to sharp and pointy and it looks like it would hurt to miss when sitting and end up on that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of them are heavy enough or have enough friction to actually stay if kicked even a little bit, meaning that they are very tricky to sit down on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't really want to buy 10 different potties until we find one that works, so I want to know what to look for, and how a good one should look. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I once saw some &quot;potty-thrones&quot;, which are big and expensive and look like ridiculous overkill. But maybe they aren't. What are experiences of those?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="2829" LastEditDate="2014-03-19T21:25:59.780" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T21:25:59.780" Title="What are the key considerations when selecting a potty?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3965" CreationDate="2012-01-08T19:57:43.853" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had no idea potty selection was a challenge. We did what we always do: drive to our local outlet of a &lt;em&gt;major worldwide Swedish furniture store.&lt;/em&gt; (I love going there, to me it's like a mini-vacation to Sweden.) They have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70141228/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;potty&lt;/a&gt; for just a few bucks. It's small, simple, and effective, and I highly recommend it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The bottom edge has a rubber inset so it's totally slip-free. Even though it weighs nearly nothing, it doesn't slide easily without an occupant, and not at all during use.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The seat is flat and nearly circular, the edges all around are reasonably rounded. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The back rest is very low and seems to serve mostly as a symbolic indication for &quot;place backside here&quot;. We don't lean back either, do we?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The front &quot;pee guard&quot; as you call it is also rounded and can't possibly hurt. A slight indentation on the inside doubles as a spout when emptying it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The sitting height looks just right for small legs. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The bowl is completely hemispherical; fool-proof to clean with no place for muck to get stuck. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No indentations or ridges or artistic embellishments on any surface; it's just a boring potty. Easy to clean!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No moving parts, available in a handful of colors, fits in a dishwasher.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/QaSKK.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tip: Towel dust and hairs are the bathroom's best weapon against non-slip parts. Check and clean if needed. Works well for us. If the potty slides around on the floor, try placing it on a textile bath &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/00163493/#/40163486&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;mat&lt;/a&gt; with a latex underside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;(No, we don't put it in the dishwasher. But it would fit easily.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-08T21:01:51.143" LastActivityDate="2012-01-08T21:01:51.143" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3965" CreationDate="2012-01-09T01:05:48.920" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Forget the potty, go for a potty seat that fits on your toilet.  Invest in a nice stool (IKEA for 3 dollars) so your child can get up and down.  No clean up no mess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T01:05:48.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3965" CreationDate="2012-01-09T07:41:13.433" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Morah's answer to use a child seat on the regular toilet seat is great! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That reminds me that we have a toilet seat that has an &lt;em&gt;integrated child seat&lt;/em&gt; which is extremely convenient in daily use, but of course not at all portable!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/YYVod.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T07:41:13.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3971" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3976" CreationDate="2012-01-09T08:38:12.963" Score="5" ViewCount="16009" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the moment he wakes to the moment he falls asleep my toddler barely ever stops asking for &quot;chocolate&quot;, &quot;sweeties&quot; or &quot;cakes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He frequently doesn't eat his meals well, but we are fairly strict with giving in and only give him these treats after meals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often he becomes so distraught he works himself up into a frenzy and just won't calm down. Trying to reason with him has got us nowhere in the past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we try to wait out the tantrums, give in every now and again, offer an alternative (suggestions?), or persist with trying to reason with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T10:24:22.730" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T02:10:35.190" Title="How can we avoid tantrums over sweets and cakes?" Tags="|toddler|food|tantrums|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3972" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3975" CreationDate="2012-01-09T11:44:41.410" Score="7" ViewCount="13454" Body="&lt;p&gt;When her young children became feverish, my sister would undress them and try to bring their temperature down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However my mother is adamant that the right treatment is the exact opposite- Wrap them up warm, but give them plenty of liquid so they don't become dehydrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which is the correct treatment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T18:22:54.340" Title="What is the recommendation for treating a feverish child?" Tags="|sickness|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3973" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3974" CreationDate="2012-01-09T12:26:18.510" Score="9" ViewCount="32481" Body="&lt;p&gt;At our antenatal classes we were told that it can be misleading to feel a baby's hands to check if they are too cold, because the extremities can get cold even when the baby is ok. A better method is to put two fingers down the back of their top and see if it feels warm there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother (who ran a nursery for 20 years) claims that this is an &quot;old wives' tale&quot;, and that you should always check the baby's hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who is right, and does the same technique work for older children also?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T10:10:33.397" LastActivityDate="2016-11-30T22:30:10.630" Title="Recommended method for checking a baby is not too cold" Tags="|toddler|infant|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3973" CreationDate="2012-01-09T13:14:13.650" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, in the event of the body needing energy for stuff like digestion or growing, the body generally diverts blood away from the limbs towards the &quot;core&quot;, where the real work's being done by the heart and stomach, and to the brain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is especially common in newborns, as their limbs are basically useless until they're mobile, while pretty much 99% of their daily activities are growing and digesting. At the same time, their brain is doing an awful lot of growing and &quot;re-wiring&quot; in preparation for useful tasks, such as getting your attention and being cute on demand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The general recommendation I've found is to check the heat of the back of the neck (path from heart to brain) and heat of the torso (contains everything else).&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also be aware that any uncovered part of the body will get cold faster than any covered part, especially the &quot;sticky-out&quot; bits (hands, feet, ears, etc.), because that's where the heat can get out from. So if your baby's hands seem worryingly cold, mittens would be the first step (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=baby%20wearing%20mittens&amp;amp;um=1&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;biw=1068&amp;amp;bih=368&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;tbnid=pVJlLmCBNRGU7M%3a&amp;amp;imgrefurl=http://chopstix.wordpress.com/2009/08/09/baby-mittens/&amp;amp;docid=0bXJAXBrPh5XwM&amp;amp;imgurl=http://chopstix.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/mii-mittens.jpg%253Fw%253D450&amp;amp;w=340&amp;amp;h=404&amp;amp;ei=QekKT4HaC6nL0QGxneGPAg&amp;amp;zoom=1&amp;amp;iact=rc&amp;amp;dur=597&amp;amp;sig=104359717758759517464&amp;amp;page=1&amp;amp;tbnh=92&amp;amp;tbnw=77&amp;amp;start=0&amp;amp;ndsp=16&amp;amp;ved=1t:429,r:6,s:0&amp;amp;tx=43&amp;amp;ty=47&quot;&gt;Also, adorable!&lt;/a&gt;). But you should only really be doing this if you're out somewhere cold, or if your baby seems uncomfortable, as you're effectively blocking off the avenues of release for excess heat from the internal organs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/care/newborn/12-things-no-one-ever-tells-you-about-babies/?page=5&quot;&gt;One source is here&lt;/a&gt;, but most of the sources when googling &quot;baby's hands cold&quot; say the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-01-09T13:22:41.030" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T13:22:41.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3972" CreationDate="2012-01-09T13:20:32.383" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Torben mentioned, you do not want to bundle them up and risk raising the fever.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the opposite extreme is not helpful, either.  Undressing the child, cold baths, ice, or alcohol rubs can lower the skin temperature without lowering the fever.  This can cause hivering, which can actually &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003090.htm&quot;&gt;raise the core temperature further&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do NOT bundle up someone who has the chills.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remove excess clothing or blankets. The room should be comfortable,&#xA;not too hot or cool. Try one layer of lightweight clothing, and one&#xA;lightweight blanket for sleep. If the room is hot or stuffy, a fan&#xA;may help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A lukewarm bath or sponge bath may help cool someone with a fever.&#xA;This is especially effective after medication is given -- otherwise&#xA;the temperature might bounce right back up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are spot-on with suggesting plenty of liquids.  Water, gelatin, soup, or even popsicles are all good ways to keep your child hydrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The old adage &quot;feed a cold, starve a fever&quot; is bad advice.  If your child is hungry, let them eat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always, call your doctor if the fever gets too high:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is younger than 3 months old and has a rectal temperature of 100.4 °F (38 °C) or higher&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is 3 -12 months old and has a fever of 102.2 °F (39 °C) or higher&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also call your doctor if the fever doesn't show signs of going away:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is under age 2 and has a fever that lasts longer than 24 - 48 hours&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is older and has a fever for longer than 48 - 72 hours&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some official links:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://childrenfirstaid.redcross.org.uk/hightemperatures/hightempadditionalresources&quot;&gt;Children's high temperatures&lt;/a&gt; (British Red Cross) &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;PDF: &lt;a href=&quot;http://childrenfirstaid.redcross.org.uk/assets/Uploads/High-temperatures-factsheet.pdf&quot;&gt;Factsheet&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://childrenfirstaid.redcross.org.uk/assets/Uploads/Hi-Temps-FAQs.pdf&quot;&gt;FAQ&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/diseases-conditions/fever-in-infants-and-children/treatment.html&quot;&gt;Should I try to lower my child's fever?&lt;/a&gt; (FamilyDoctor.org)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/infant_fever.shtml#treatment_and_prevention&quot;&gt;Febrile convulsions or seizure&lt;/a&gt; can occur in a child with a high fever of over 39°C (102.2°F). (BBC)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-09T13:57:01.247" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T13:57:01.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2012-01-09T13:22:13.637" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;NEVER give in.  Put him in another room (no one wants to be around tantrums, and tell him so) and wait it out.  He may cry for a pretty long time the first couple of times but when he realizes it gets him ABSOLUTELY no attention the time will lessen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He ONLY gets desserts after eating dinner (you determine how much that is).  If he is not hungry enough for foods he is not hungry enough for treats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="198" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T16:06:32.057" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T16:06:32.057" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2012-01-09T15:56:57.730" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You said in a comment that receiving sweets is unavoidable. I disagree, but it takes a conscious effort. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2yo son also frequently gets candy offered (in shops, restaurants, etc.) but we as parents politely decline the candy, or receive it for him, but he never receives it himself to eat right away. He learned right from the start that he is not allowed to receive candy from strangers, and if some is offered then the parents are the judges. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has worked so far without any tantrums. As a privilege, he sometimes gets to hold/carry what he received, but he's not allowed to unpack it. Obviously he won't continue being such an angel, but it works so far because we were 100% consistent about it right from the start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your situation is different, but you can still achieve it. &lt;strong&gt;Set a new course and maintain it. Be consistent. No exceptions.&lt;/strong&gt; Morah's answer could be a way to train this new rule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain yourself every time if you must. But don't give in -- a single exception can ruin weeks of training. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to discuss your new rules with other caregivers (grandparents etc.) and make sure that they follow them too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T15:56:57.730" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3979" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="3994" CreationDate="2012-01-09T16:58:15.443" Score="16" ViewCount="17533" Body="&lt;p&gt;Back when we were still expecting our son to be born, we were told all about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cfs.purdue.edu/itsi/briefs/EffectsOfSharedParent-InfantBookReadingOnEarlyLanguageAcquisition.pdf&quot;&gt;how important it was to read to our son&lt;/a&gt;, even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/217722-benefits-of-reading-to-an-unborn-baby/&quot;&gt;before he was born&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being avid readers ourselves, my wife and I felt this was a good idea.  We read to him daily, both before he was born and after.  Now, at 16 months, it is firmly a part of his daily routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I'm starting to wonder if it is perhaps &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; much of a part of his routine.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing he does in the morning after eating is to ask for a book.  He wants us to read to him constantly.  While he does play with his other toys, books are his clear favorite.  Its not uncommon for him to ask that the same book be read to him 7 or 8 times in a row.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gets plenty of physical exercise, and I don't believe he spends too much time reading during daycare on the weekdays, but it seems like as much as 50% of our direct interaction with him may involve reading to him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond our own patience and tolerance, is there a point at which we should say &quot;no more books; go and play with your other toys&quot;?  Can too much focus on books interfere with his development of other skills?  If so, how do you tell when you are reaching that point?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-01-12T00:39:53.153" Title="Can a toddler spend too much time with books?" Tags="|toddler|development|reading|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3979" CreationDate="2012-01-09T17:29:35.043" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the exact same problem and not only was she not playing enough (in our minds) but we were going crazy reading all the time.  We finally put a three book limit per sitting.  She brought us books and we would read three and then say it is play time.  Later in the day we were willing and ready to read three more.  This worked for us and she learned to accept it, especially if we sat to play with her after the books were over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T17:29:35.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3981" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4012" CreationDate="2012-01-09T17:35:06.283" Score="5" ViewCount="913" Body="&lt;p&gt;Each school has its own cut off for kindergarten.  When a child falls on or very close to that cut off what criteria should you use to determine which kindergarten class he should go in.  I know both about academics and social emotional development but how do you determine what to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T10:22:53.757" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T10:51:15.550" Title="How do we choose when to start kindergarten?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|development|school|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3867" CreationDate="2012-01-09T17:38:02.643" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got a much bigger blanket an put her in a big girl bed, explaining to her that now that she is a big girl she takes care of herself at night.  It worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T17:38:02.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2795" CreationDate="2012-01-09T17:44:34.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, you can let a baby cry it out.  If you want to send the message that you are there it is probably better to sit in the room reading a book, the child will see you but you won't be reinforcing the crying.  This may be hard as you will be sitting there watching your child cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if your baby is only doing it some of the time, try change a diaper and change the pajamas.  (try to notice if it is always the same clothes when the baby cries).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T17:44:34.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3578" CreationDate="2012-01-09T18:28:52.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This will take a lot of persistence and work on your part. You must be stubborn and convince your child that he is NOT going to get to sleep anywhere but the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start putting the child to sleep by rocking on a chair or walking around with him. DO NOT put him to sleep in your bed. He might try to break free from your hold as he is crying - do not let go. Hold him tightly, and let him know that you love him and that he must sleep. Our daughter used to crib, call for the other parent, but be patient - sing songs - and believe that the suffering won't last long :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Once he is asleep, put the child in his crib. (Some people prefer putting the child to sleep awake, but this works best for me.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he wakes up in 45 minutes crying, repeat the cycle. Take him to the rocking chair, and wait  for him to fall asleep again. Back in the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time you do this, it might be very frustrating so do it on a night where you don't have work the next day. (Friday night?) The important part is to convince your child that no matter what happens, he is NOT going on your bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next night, should be easier, but might still be long. But within 3 days, he should get used to sleeping his crib. He should be convinced, that no matter how much he cries, kicks, or does, that he will eventually end up back in his crib - and only his crib. NEVER give in and put him in your bed with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, purchase a portable playpen. When we are visiting relatives or travelling, we put our children to sleep in their playpens. They are very compact when folded, and secure like a crib for sleeping. If you don't want to kid sleeping in your bed, you must &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; force it do so either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-01-09T19:05:20.317" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T19:05:20.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3979" CreationDate="2012-01-09T18:33:54.773" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is hard to prove that something &quot;not dangerous&quot;, but: I have read many books (written by university professors) on child development and pedagogics, and studied my teacher's qualification studies in an university, and I have not met a single argument nor peer-reviewed study which would suggest that reading is harmful (if the child interacts with others and gets physical exercise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2025" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T18:33:54.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2012-01-09T19:03:40.523" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered just throwing out the food that you don't want him to have?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sometimes give in and purchase chocolate; if my child sees me eating it, she wants it too. My child wants to eat whatever I want to eat. So I stopped buying things that I didn't want him to have - and stopped eating it myself. Someone gave you a chocolate bar and you don't want the child to eat? I just throw it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I don't keep the food in our house, our daughter doesn't ask for it. If she does, I just show her empty containers and say &quot;no more&quot; or &quot;all gone.&quot; She sees that it's gone, and eventually moves on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="2061" LastEditDate="2012-01-10T12:00:17.230" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T12:00:17.230" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3979" CreationDate="2012-01-09T19:09:27.657" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am pretty sure that this is just a phase they go through. Books are fascinating little things and there is SO much in them. Our daughter used to have everyone continuously read her books - the same book a dozen or so times in a day! It drove us crazy and our mouths dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But this too, shall pass. She has just discovered a toy that makes you blurt out random words (from her perspective) and she is curious. She flips pages so we say different words. We never discouraged it, just lived through it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if I start singing a particular rhyme (the book she had use read was a nursery rhyme book), she opens up the exact page that the nursery rhyme is on. She points to the characters and pictures that fascinate her. She'll go through all of her two dozen books or so and &quot;read&quot; them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't discourage this practice. It's a lot of fun watching them &quot;read&quot; a book to themselves. If you get frustrated, pick up your OWN book and put her beside you. Have her read her book, and you can read yours :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T19:09:27.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3989" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-09T19:37:31.863" Score="3" ViewCount="148" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a parent of a 3 year old. We have a second child due at the end of April. In order to make room for then new baby we are moving at the end of this month. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I prepare my preschooler for the transition? We have already started talking to him about it and took him past the new house yesterday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a few days between our close date and our move date so one of the things we are going to do is show him his new room and the rest of the house so he is more comfortable with the surroundings we are going to be living in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some things to keep in mind when moving a preschooler for the first time and what kinds of things should we do to help him prepare better for an easy transition?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2086" LastEditorUserId="2086" LastEditDate="2012-01-09T19:49:19.283" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T23:36:06.737" Title="How do I prepare my preschooler for a move?" Tags="|pre-schooler|moving|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3909" CreationDate="2012-01-09T19:41:04.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a variety of clocks available for toddlers which signal to them when it is okay to get out of bed. The idea is similar to what &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/users/1889/morah-hochman&quot;&gt;Morah Hochman&lt;/a&gt; suggested, but is built into the clock. Many of the clocks also provide ambient sounds and other sleep aides besides indicating that it's okay to get out of bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine used the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B002RNKOM2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Okay to Wake&lt;/a&gt; clock with a lot of success, but there other less expensive alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1483" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T19:41:04.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2012-01-09T21:03:47.517" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great answers.  As a father of 11 children, we first require our children to eat what is on their plate during meal time, we actually save leftovers on their plate if they do not finish, and do not allow them to eat between meals (bad habit to start).  Sweets should not be the norm but the exception.  We use them to celebrate, when we have guests, etc.  Incorporating sweets into the everyday diet is not a sustainable approach.  Make it special and absolutely hold the line when a tantrum is thrown (both you and your spouse, no giving in!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2088" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T21:03:47.517" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2795" CreationDate="2012-01-09T21:12:56.273" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two schools of thought, one desired outcome.  Toddlers have basic needs (Food/Drink, Clean Diaper, Safe Environment, Consistency).  If you have taken care of his/her's basic needs then the goal should be that the child learns to be content and to fall asleep. At that point, wait 10 min and let the baby cry, if crying persists go into the room make sure the baby has not somehow hurt themselves, their diaper is clean etc, but do not pick them up, do not get angry, and do not linger in the room. Next extend the waiting time to 20 min, then 30min etc.  You and spouse must be consistent.  When the toddler learns the fit is futile, yet you have met their basic needs they will begin to learn the basics of contentment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2088" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T21:12:56.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3961" CreationDate="2012-01-09T21:21:14.490" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, make sure you have &quot;TRAINED&quot; the child to not do something, as mentioned above that can mean for very yound simply saying &quot;no&quot; and making it clear your expectation.  Second, be CONSISTENT, if you only occasionally correct then your correction at any age will be ineffective.  Third, DISCIPLINE is appropriate only after you have trained the child and are committed to being consistent (both parents). Finally, affirm the child when they behave correctly and make it fun to obey.  Whatever you do, do not respond in anger but in love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2088" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T21:21:14.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3979" CreationDate="2012-01-09T21:31:05.680" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading is like any other activity.  It only becomes harmful when it is done to the exclusion of other important activities or replaces real life interactions.  This might happen when he is older and can read by himself, and chooses to do so instead of his homework, physical activity, or meeting friends.  Or if it is impacting his health, like by constantly staying up so late reading that he is always tired at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, your patience is going to wear out way before any harm is done.  Keep in mind that spending time with you giving your undivided attention is likely just as important to your son as the particular activity you're engaged in.  If you pay attention to him during reading, then tell him to play by himself afterward, then he's going to want to be read to more often.  My son is always asking to get his hair cut, even though it scares him a little, because it's one of the few things we go out and do together without his sisters getting in the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, if you want to vary his interests more, then do them together more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T21:31:05.680" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3965" CreationDate="2012-01-09T22:58:36.167" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Avoid &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; complicated: you quite simply don't want to have to clean it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We like the BABYBJÖRN Potty Chair: it is heavy, sturdy and easy to clean.  It is easy to sit down on.  Unfortunately the insert can stick to humid little behinds and come up with the child when she stands up.  It is still the best option we've seen despite this flaw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We &lt;em&gt;prefer&lt;/em&gt; when she gets a stool and uses the toilet seat insert (our is also Baby Bjorn brand, and seems quite serviceable).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2090" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T22:58:36.167" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3989" CreationDate="2012-01-09T23:36:06.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your preschooler will probably have very little problem with the move in comparison with the adjustment to the new baby.  Be sure her room is the first you unpack so her bed and the like are set up for her on the first night. Take a tour of the house when you first arrive, talking about all the great things she will be doing in each room.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Make a REALLY big deal of her new bedroom, let her decorate (within reason) and really make it hers, this will help with the new house and the new baby!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T23:36:06.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3578" CreationDate="2012-01-09T23:51:12.883" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We took the side off the crib (&quot;converting to a toddler bed&quot;), and pushed it next to our bed.  Now we get our full mattress, yet the child is just a hand away.  This is a middle option between &quot;in the bed&quot; and &quot;in the crib&quot; that worked for us, and might work for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/aJHLl.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also commercial versions of this available, but check the CSPC site for various recalls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2090" LastEditorUserId="2090" LastEditDate="2012-01-11T00:41:37.260" LastActivityDate="2012-01-11T00:41:37.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3979" CreationDate="2012-01-09T23:53:17.263" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about it.  Balance will come in time and naturally. &#xA;You can also try transitional activities: read about bridges, build a bridge.&#xA;Read about an animal, act it out with the matching stuffie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2090" LastActivityDate="2012-01-09T23:53:17.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="3999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3979" CreationDate="2012-01-10T02:36:42.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try out a little different. The basic idea seems to be exploring, wondering and imagining stuff and some books are really good. Try to persuade to try different flavors and some flavors like short puzzles for kids may give a different kind of values and perhaps lead her to more practical things (if those books themselves gave practical puzzles).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2091" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T02:36:42.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3578" CreationDate="2012-01-10T17:18:06.890" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;No silver bullet, but here is what my wife and I did years ago when our daughter had a problem much like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took about a week, but worked.  The first night, we stayed next to the crib and rubbed her back, she would cry, but as long as we were there, she would eventually calm down and fall asleep.  Night two, the same thing, only start steeping away a little, so she can still see you, rub her back, step away. Night three, same thing... each night gradually step further away until you are putting her to bed and you are standing in the doorway singing or saying goodnight.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young children need to be conditioned over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T17:18:06.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2012-01-10T17:39:20.053" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe there is a single, universal &quot;right&quot; age to introduce children to television.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of factors that you need to consider when making that decision:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Developmental impact on your child&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The programming that the child would be exposed to&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Expected outcome of television viewing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Peer pressure&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Developmental impact on your child&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a lot of material out there about the impact of television on a child's development.  Much of it is contradictory.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3772/420&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;, I have detailed a number of potential developmental hazards identified by research.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned in an earlier answer here, as well as in my answer on that other question, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt;, a non-profit and independently operated organization of over 60,000 pediatricians which evaluates pediatric research and makes recommendations of best-practices based upon that research, feels that there is sufficient risk to advise against any exposure to television prior to the age of 2.  They also cite lack of any evidence of beneficial effect on learning or development from watching television at early stages of development as justification for this recommendation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They recommend a restricted access to television to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;107/2/423&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;maximum of 1-2 hours of quality programming a day&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;quality programming&quot; caveat is a bit subjective, but there have been &lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/watching-spongebob-makes-preschoolers-slower-thinkers-study-finds/story?id=14482447#.Twxu8aUS3Ud&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;studies&lt;/a&gt; that indicate that certain types of programming (particularly shows that rapidly change scenery and which are generally fast paced) can be detrimental to short term cognitive ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This brings us to the next factor to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The programming that the child would be exposed to&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What will the child's options be during the times they will be watching?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you expect them to be watching relatively educational programs (and your definition can range anywhere from &quot;Sesame Street&quot; to &quot;Mythbusters&quot;, but there are some good suggestions &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2273/what-tv-shows-are-wholesome-for-primary-schoolers&quot;&gt;in this thread&lt;/a&gt;), I would say you can start them earlier than if you intended to let them use television for pure &quot;mindless&quot; entertainment (cartoons, etc.) without negative effect.  Indeed, while there's no evidence to indicate that educational television has any benefit before the age of 2, I believe once language skills are developed, children can learn some things from television at an older age.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/05/health/psychology/05tots.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;New York Times&lt;/a&gt; article, for instance, cites research that shows that viewers of the children's show &quot;Blues Clues&quot; ages 3 to 5 score better on tests of problem solving than those who haven’t watched the show.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then again, if you expect your child to sit down and watch a couple of hours of Spongebob each day (much as I hate to pick on Spongebob, &lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/watching-spongebob-makes-preschoolers-slower-thinkers-study-finds/story?id=14482447#.Twxu8aUS3Ud&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt; was pretty damning), you might want to consider waiting until they're older, and focus on getting them up to speed on social interactions, family obligations, and responsibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This ties in with the next factor:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Expected outcome of television viewing&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have specific shows that you want to share with your child?  Or are you just looking for some opportunities for some &quot;me&quot; time, or time to spend with your significant other?  Or maybe you need a distraction for when an even younger child needs care?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These expectations will certainly impact when you introduce your child to television.  If there's nothing you plan to accomplish by having your child watch television, then delay it as long as you can.  If, however, it is crucial that you keep the kid distracted and quiet while you try to catch an hour's nap because your infant is still waking up every 2-3 hours to feed, then you should certainly give that consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just don't forget that there may be alternatives to television, depending upon what you wish to accomplish.  Toys like &lt;a href=&quot;https://bricks.stackexchange.com/&quot;&gt;LEGO blocks&lt;/a&gt; can, for some children, provide periods of quiet, creative play.  Coloring and drawing is also a good option (if you can rely on your child to not draw on the walls!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, the longer you can put off television, the better off you probably are, but there is always a need to balance with reasons that might make putting it off difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most significant reason to avoid putting off television too long will be, for many, the last factor to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Peer pressure&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For children, social interaction is a major tool for development.  Playtime with friends and peers can build a host of valuable skills, plus it is fun, too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it also means that your child will be exposed to the values, expectations, and decisions of other parents.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be much harder to shelter your child from television when all of their friends are going on and on about their favorite show or movie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stores that expect children, either as the target audience or accompanying their parents, also contribute to this.  My son has never seen the movie &quot;Cars&quot;, but he already has a number of toys related to the franchise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that children, particularly toddlers, can be extremely obsessive about whatever their latest favorite is.  Whether it's trains, dinosaurs, princesses, or Darth Vader, many toddlers seem to go through phases where there is only one thing they want to talk about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child's friends are watching television more than your child, and it forms a major part of their interests, you run the risk of your child feeling left out (or, perhaps worse, bypassing your rules to watch shows that you haven't given permission for at a friend's house).  So this, too, should play a factor in determining when you should introduce your child to television.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-09T15:17:42.663" LastActivityDate="2018-07-09T15:17:42.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4003" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4011" CreationDate="2012-01-10T17:46:47.250" Score="9" ViewCount="1982" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given the complexities of being a parent, life itself, cultural difference, etc. -- how does one begin to evaluating yourself as a parent without being bias, or getting biased feedback? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="419" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T09:53:41.893" LastActivityDate="2016-08-14T23:35:19.533" Title="How do you evaluate yourself as a parent?" Tags="|learning|parents|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4003" CreationDate="2012-01-10T18:40:34.367" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a hard one.  First it depends on the age of the children.  I sometimes ask my 8 year old what questions I should ask on this site, to see, from her point of view, what I need to work on as a parent (obviously a biased source).&#xA;I read parenting books and evaluate their advice and then evaluate myself based on that.&#xA;I have a friend who is a child psychologist who notices things I do right and lets me know he is impressed.&#xA;I evaluate (in my head) other people's parenting and try to repeat or not repeat their behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that helps, really not an easy question.  Remember that we all make mistakes!  My husband and I joke when we make a mistake that we catch that at least we will know why our child will be in therapy.  It takes the sting out of the mistake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T18:40:34.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-01-10T19:38:04.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent, I agree with giving it time as handwriting is a skill that does take time to develop. as an occupational therapist, handwriting is usually a symptom of something else: weakness, low muscle tone, decreased hand eye coordination , etc. I don't intend on diagnosing or worrying anybody but I usually recommend the patients I see to begin general strengthening. Luckily for kids that means playing , wheelbarrow walking, carrying some'heavy' grocery items to develop good shoulder strength. A lot of children use their shoulders due to weakness and one can imagine those are big muscles for sUch a precise task like handwriting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try different board games to help her develop more precise fine motor skills, smaller pegs, manipulating different items etc. &#xA;You can hide small items in play dough to help with hand strengthening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a good idea to try different pencils and paper to work on 'handwriting' but there are many other ways too to work on the skills needed for handwriting that can be fun for her and even good family activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1613" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T19:38:04.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4006" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4008" CreationDate="2012-01-10T19:57:13.447" Score="2" ViewCount="4368" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I were just discussing this. I don't know if there's a way for us to find out. Sometime she notices that when she takes our daughter out of the wrap-type carrier (where her legs are folded) she cries a bit. This is just a guess but potentially this could be due to the weird sensation of coming out of a limb that has 'fallen asleep', i.e. feels a little numb and then the blood rushed back and it feels really numb! Of course, the crying could be due to the fact that we're taking her out of a nice comfy place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:55:03.420" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T22:55:03.420" Title="Can baby's limbs 'fall asleep' in carriers due to lack of blood flow?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4003" CreationDate="2012-01-10T20:42:55.557" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that it's human nature to believe that &quot;my way is probably not all that bad&quot; while at the same time having just a little doubt now and then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's impossible to evaluate yourself without bias, unless perhaps if you're Mahatma Gandhi or Viktor Frankl. You also can't expect a truly unbiased commentary from others, because everybody views the world through &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; eyes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best you can do, in my view, is to ask trusted friends and complete strangers (and, as Morah points out: your children!) how they perceive things and just &lt;em&gt;listen&lt;/em&gt; without arguing. Then, later, pick from their response the parts you can use and the parts that nag you at night, and leave the rest behind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't often question or review my own ability as a parent. But when I &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; consider my parenting skills, and when I discuss with my wife how we're doing, I most often compare to what I know best - my own upbringing. I think most of us can relate to the statement that &lt;em&gt;I think my parents did a good job but there a few things I'm going to want to do differently.&lt;/em&gt; Curiously, I sometimes find myself doing pretty much exactly like my parents did, for better or for worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best indicator of my parenting skills comes from seeing how my son interacts with other people (kids as well as adults), and secondarily how he does with us parents. I am very pleased to note that he is very well-behaved -- whatever that word means &lt;em&gt;to me.&lt;/em&gt; To you it might have a different meaning, and that's fine; difference is good, as long as we can all still get along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everybody has weaknesses, and I know and acknowledge at least &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; of my own. Admitting them is only the first step though, and most of our traits are so deeply ingrained that we cannot completely prevent them from shaping our children. Showing awareness and effort on my own behalf helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also have beliefs that are contrary to those of the culture around me, and I consciously try to minimize this friction. At the same time though, standing firm against the trend can be a strength, but it needs to be exercised with care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also have strengths, you have traits that make you a better parent in some respect. Allow yourself to be pleased about these, but don't count and compare them against the number or weight of your weaknesses. At the end of it all, be content to be &lt;em&gt;just satisfied&lt;/em&gt; if you feel you're doing reasonably well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody is perfect. It probably wouldn't be fun, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T20:42:55.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4006" CreationDate="2012-01-10T20:51:51.690" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, but no.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Limbs falling asleep is a common physiological phenomenon. I see no reason why it could not also happen to a baby if positioned the same way that would cause it to happen to adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, all carriers and slings I've ever seen (even the less sensible ones) provide support over a wide area without any sudden edges, so there would not likely be a situation that would cause this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can imagine that it &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; happen, especially if you're using a self-tied sling and the baby is sitting with legs in an unfavorable position, but I don't think this is likely at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The crying is more likely caused by being removed from a very cuddly and warm place near the parent. It's like someone removing your blanket on a cold winter morning -- I'd complain too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T20:51:51.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3578" CreationDate="2012-01-10T22:17:01.643" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem, nothing we did helped, and I felt crying it out wasn't even a feasible option as she would, like your child, standing up and crying. There is no crying yourself to sleep if you are standing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we simply let our daughter sleep in our bed. That worked fine until she became about 9-10 months old, where she decided that sleeping laterally was better and that the lack of space was easily fixable by kicking daddy in the face until he gave up and went to sleep on the sofa instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That situation was not particularly enjoyable, prompting &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/127/how-can-i-get-my-12-month-baby-to-sleep-in-her-bed&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The end solution was simple, and slightly surprising. Once she stopped breastfeeding, she suddenly became perfectly happy with sleeping in her bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T22:17:01.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3981" CreationDate="2012-01-10T22:50:19.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll admit, I'm not at this stage in parenting yet.  I have, however, read enough baby books to last a lifetime, in which there have been various lists of skills a child should have before moving into Kindergarten.  Here are a few skills that were common to several lists, or that seemed important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Your child can speak clearly.&lt;/b&gt;  Can he express himself in sentences of 5 or 6 words?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Your child has a good attention span.&lt;/b&gt;  Can he listen quietly to a story without interrupting or getting up?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Your child can follow multi-step directions.&lt;/b&gt;  If you tell him to get his bowl and then sit at the table, would he remember and follow both parts?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Your child is (somewhat) self-sufficient.&lt;/b&gt;  Can he go to the bathroom by himself?  Zip up his jacket?  Wash his own hands?  A teacher won't be able to give all 20 of their students assistance with these tasks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;   &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Your child has well developed fine motor skills.&lt;/b&gt;  Can he hold a pencil and cut with scissors?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Your child can get along with others.&lt;/b&gt;  Does he share?  Can he communicate his desires to other children?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;(Optionally) &lt;b&gt;Your child can recognize numbers and letters.&lt;/b&gt;  Although counting and the alphabet are taught in Kindergarten, teachers assume their students are at least familiar with letters and numbers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, it's okay to hold your child back a year if you don't think he's ready yet!  If you're unsure, you can talk to a teacher at the school, they'll probably be happy to help you decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T22:50:19.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4003" CreationDate="2012-01-10T22:56:16.370" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are asking the question, then that's all that matters. The act of asking the question implies that you care how you are doing as a parent and that means you're likely the best parent you can be already. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't sweat it. Enjoy the kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T22:56:16.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3981" CreationDate="2012-01-10T23:00:55.380" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no formula nor easy answer to this. You do what you think is right as the parent at that time based on your child's point in development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our oldest child really needed the mental simulation and challenges as we got him in early. And scholastically, it's been great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Socially it's been OK. He's now at that border line age (preteen) where he still tends to hang with friends in his class that are also younger like him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Physically, he never took to the team sports...perhaps it was because he was smaller than the rest, perhaps it was because he just really liked the individual sports better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like so many questions parents ask, it has to come down to gut feeling. You're a parent. Good parents are skeptical of their own decisions, but in the end, you're usually the one that knows best...even if you don't realize it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-01-10T23:00:55.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4003" CreationDate="2012-01-11T00:50:14.690" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a bit of a flippant answer, but it's the one I remember when I'm dealing with first-world problems:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;J.D.: My dad flaked on me again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, um, you're not on drugs, are you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;J.D.: What? No!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Cox: Are you in jail? Have you been beaten? Are you malnourished?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;J.D.: I skipped lunch but I've been snacking all day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Cox: You are, in fact, a perfectly healthy twenty-six-year-old doctor who keeps crying about how horrible his father was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;J.D.: Well, he did some considerable emotional damage, so...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Cox: Every one of our parents does some considerable emotional damage and from what I've heard it just might be the best part of being a parent. Now, if some guy ever does put a ring on your finger and you're lucky enough to pop out a youngster, I'm sure you'll understand but for now trust me when I tell you that I wouldn't care if today was the first time you ever met your daddy, because... well, he could have done a much, much worse job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;- Scrubs&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not the deepest sentiment in the world, but I think it makes the point memorably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-11T00:50:14.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4015" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-11T03:51:41.900" Score="4" ViewCount="3863" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have given our five-year-old children's vitamins on-and-off since she was two. I don't believe the vitamins harm my daughter's health, but at the same time I wonder if the vitamins are just another version of candy, and I am skeptical of vitamin's health claims.  I notice that all the 'gummi' vitamins are made with corn syrup and food coloring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize the manufacturers are trying to make the vitamins appealing, but how much benefit is my daughter getting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="85" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-11T19:06:26.453" LastActivityDate="2016-01-29T00:19:41.657" Title="What are the health benefits of giving children vitamins?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4003" CreationDate="2012-01-11T05:50:41.487" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think most responses are good. I will add here a methodology to help us see clearly how we are doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any evaluation requires a clear definition of a set of goals and means to measure the progress or lack of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step is to make a list of &quot;What we really want for the child&quot;. Keep on the list only what is in our reach. Keep only the most important items. It should be relatively short list (5 items?). This list will be modified as the child grows older and new needs arise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second step is to decide on how we will measure our progress for each item on the list. For example, &quot;when my child learn to do something&quot;, or &quot;when he stops doing something&quot;. Subjectively give a grade for each item. As others suggested, we can only be subjective. I believe this is good enough if the goals are defined clearly. we may solicit feedback from others who are close to us. Teachers evaluation of the child can be of great help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Re-evaluate periodically. For low grade items, analyze the causes and adjust accordingly. You may also consult literature and professionals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1929" LastActivityDate="2012-01-11T05:50:41.487" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4015" CreationDate="2012-01-11T10:37:14.987" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My personal conclusion from own research (I mean googling, discussions, own experiences etc. not a strictly scientific approach :-) is that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it is preferable to take vitamins, minerals etc. from normal food, as part of a balanced diet&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;needs and availability are different in winter than in summer, so it may make sense to use some supplements during wintertime, however we don't use supplements during the summer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;most critical may be vitamin D and Omega 3, this is what we give to our children during winter, when low exposure to sunlight means the body has less chance of producing the necessary amount of vitamin D. Also, in our country very little fish is eaten on average, so we feel it makes sense to supplement Omega acids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vitamins from artifical supplements probably aren't digested by our body nearly as well as in their natural environment, so even if I take 500mg of vitamin C in a pill, it may be that less of it is actually used by my body than of the 50mg I get from fruits and vegetables. Moreover, the latter also contain hundreds of other, as yet unknown or un-examined compounds, which may have a positive health effect on their own, but what may be even more important is their synergistic effect. Food science only focuses on singular compounds, isolated from the whole, one at a time, and has much less knowledge about how they actually work together in their natural environment. Not to mention it is much less exciting - and even less profitable - to advertise raw broccoli or apples rather than &quot;our Super Immune Boosting Mega Vitamin Supplement&quot; including lots of fancy and deeply scientific(ally sounding) names such as Flavonoids, Carotenoids, Antioxidants etc. ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-11T11:28:06.790" LastActivityDate="2012-01-11T11:28:06.790" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2795" CreationDate="2012-01-11T14:08:30.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think its fine to let the child cry, and its fine to pick the child up.  It's really the parents choice.  As long as the child is safe, there is no harm in letting them tire themselves out by crying.  If they cry for awhile, go in periodically, rub their back, reassure them and then leave again.  If you are consistent in this approach, they will soon be putting themselves to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first child, my daughter, I danced her to sleep almost every night, while my boys that followed were put down awake.  I do not see any developmental or psychological differences from the two approaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you as a parent can't stand listening to your child cry, then rock them to sleep, before you know it, they will be grown and you will miss the days when you rocked them to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2012-01-11T14:08:30.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4003" CreationDate="2012-01-11T14:18:37.547" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you love your children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you give them your time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you prioritize on their behalf?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you provide for them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you protect them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you teach them right from wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you model for them the principles that you are teaching?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you teach them humility?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you let them fail gently and them help pick them back up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you encourage them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you patient?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you kind and gentle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you consistent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you answer yes to most of these questions, you're doing alright.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2012-01-11T14:18:37.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2012-01-11T14:27:04.990" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not try to reason with my toddler, nor would I give it to their tantrums.  Remember, as a toddler, they are naturally going to push the proverbial envelop.  Deal with the tantrums in a consist way, whatever that is, time out for example.  Be consistent and let them know they are wrong, remove them from the room and put in a safe time out area, and let them tantrum their.  Before too long, they will stop the tantrums because they are not rewarded and you are consistent.  This is a good approach for whatever the tantrum is about&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2012-01-11T14:27:04.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4015" CreationDate="2012-01-11T15:38:54.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would be wary of vitamins because of what it is teaching the child about medicine.  We were very careful to show our kids their names on their medicines when they needed it and talk about who can give them medicine (never too early to teach about drugs).  Therefore I would definitely worry if vitamins (medicine) would be associated with candy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="2089" LastEditDate="2012-01-15T07:10:46.780" LastActivityDate="2012-01-15T07:10:46.780" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2012-01-11T20:14:46.660" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a good question. It depends.  IMHO, the later the better.  The more time your child spends doing something other than watching TV the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our kids were younger, we could control it more, manage how much TV they watched and what they watched, but as a wise man once said, you have to teach them &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; they should not watch too much TV and to be &lt;strong&gt;discerning&lt;/strong&gt; about what they are watching.  At some point, your child will be making their own decisions about how much and what to watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach them well and filter for them while you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-09T15:22:41.390" LastActivityDate="2018-07-09T15:22:41.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4030" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4034" CreationDate="2012-01-12T11:09:34.967" Score="2" ViewCount="488" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're about to have our first child and are currently getting very confused about the world of buggies/prams/strollers. It seems like we'll need the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we're both avid runners, so some kind of running buggy seems to be a no-brainer. However many of these seem to be 6mths+&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a travel system which folds down and be used as a car seat (e.g. isofix)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything that does both of these jobs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2112" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T10:19:26.403" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T10:19:26.403" Title="How many buggies, prams and strollers do we need?" Tags="|travel|car-seat|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4031" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-12T11:19:27.140" Score="4" ViewCount="124" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are looking around for the best preschool for our baby daughter.&#xA;The place that we looked at said that for infants they have a 1:4 (adult:infant) ratio...for 3 - 5 year olds it is 1:12 (adjult:infant).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the proper things to look for? My wife is going to a free Mommy and Me class next week to see how the caretakers handle infants/kids. It would be great if I also gave her a list of things to check out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T10:29:21.123" Title="What are the features that I should look for in a good preschool?" Tags="|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4032" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4035" CreationDate="2012-01-12T11:25:19.927" Score="13" ViewCount="85580" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there anything specific to think about when planning a long car journey (12 hours with an overnight stop) with a 2-month-old? I guess one of the issues is whether one of the adults stays in the back with the baby, or whether both being up front is ok? We would make sure we stop regularly of course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2112" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-05T15:09:28.520" LastActivityDate="2019-09-05T15:09:28.520" Title="How do we prepare for a long car journey with a 2-month-old?" Tags="|newborn|travel|driving|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4032" CreationDate="2012-01-12T11:59:10.380" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did a long car journey (4 days with overnight stops, then 3 days on the way back) with our firstborn when she was 5 months old. One of us sat at the back to entertain her, equipped with the usual army of toys, colourful pictures, baby food etc. etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It went fairly well, she had no big problems. Whenever she wanted to move more than it was possible inside her safety seat, or was breastfeeding time, we stopped for a break. (She already started to eat some solid food at that time, but was still being breast fed a couple of times a day.) For a 2 months old, I guess this would cause even less trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of our friends did a similar journey at that summer, with a somewhat bigger baby. They also shared the back seat with the baby. They travelled mostly during the night, so their baby slept through most of the travel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-12T12:04:49.080" LastActivityDate="2012-01-12T12:04:49.080" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4030" CreationDate="2012-01-12T12:09:45.873" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You need two different prams&lt;/strong&gt; (or possibly three).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you're avid runners, you should get a separate pram for that purpose. They are usually three-wheeled. The reason is that everyday prams aren't meant for high speeds. Look for ones that have:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a long wheel base with fixed wheels (runs more straight) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;big, bicycle-style wheels (comfort)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;brake lever on the hand bar (safety)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These things are irrelevant at walking speeds but essential at running speeds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For everyday trips to the grocery store etc. a regular pram would be much more convenient, not least because it's smaller/shorter and pivoting wheels give much better maneuverability (which is &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; what you want to avoid when running). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For selection criteria regarding an ordinary pram, check out this question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/520/is-an-expensive-stroller-worth-it&quot;&gt;Is an expensive stroller worth it?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To really cover &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; situations, you would in fact &lt;strong&gt;need three strollers,&lt;/strong&gt; the third being a small &quot;umbrella stroller.&quot; They aren't appropriate for infants, but once the child is old enough to sit up on their own, these become good for situations like flights and trains, where size and weight matter more than short-term comfort. &lt;em&gt;This is where you can save money:&lt;/em&gt; because these won't be used for long at a time, you don't need a brand-new, super-sturdy one with lots of features. Just pick up a used one for a few dollars. Make sure to test how small it is when folded closed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-01-12T19:17:29.640" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4032" CreationDate="2012-01-12T12:37:40.117" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have taken several road trips that each were in the range of 700 to 1500 kilometers (per direction). Things that were helpful to us include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have enough baby necessities on board. Think of diapers, wipes, baby food, and so on. Whatever is age-appropriate, just make absolutely sure you don't run out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a high-quality car-seat for the baby. This is the single most important thing for the safety and comfort of your baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensure the long-duration comfort of the parents. &lt;em&gt;They&lt;/em&gt; are going to have it the hardest, not the baby. This includes sitting in front if that's the most comfortable (it usually is, in most cars), adjusting the seat properly, having enough food and drink for yourselves, taking a leg-stretching break (run 5 laps around your parked car) at least every 2 hours, and so on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not recommend that one parent sits in the back, unless the baby is very very fussy. For very long drives, it can be assumed that one person cannot drive the whole distance. This means that the other parent must save enough energy to take his or her share of the drive. But if you've spent the whole time until then caring for the baby, then you're as exhausted as the driver. You would then need a stop of several hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The safer recommendation is to deliberately put you (and especially the driver) in a position where you &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; address every little whim and whine of the baby. If it's worth making a rest stop for, then do that. If it isn't, then carry on -- you've got a long road ahead and you won't get there if you stop every fifteen minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that the essentials are reasonably within reach from the co-pilot's seat. If you're lucky, the co-pilot can even reach around the back and hand baby the toy that she just threw onto the backseat, out of baby's reach. Make sure the rest of the car is safely packed, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-12T12:37:40.117" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4031" CreationDate="2012-01-12T16:43:36.817" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a list without any particular order. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;meet and talk to the teachers. Are they nice, do they seem well trained, responsible? Do you feel that they provide a culture or style that you approve of? Do they master the language well enough (they might be foreigners but still very good at your language)? Are they trained in first-aid? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;visit and look at the preschool. Is it nice? Is it safe? Does it offer enough play space, and does it offer a good variety of suitable toys and other materials? Indoor and outdoor facilities?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;look at the other kids. Do you feel comfortable putting your child into this environment? Consider aspects like number of kids, age spread, genders and nationalities; whatever is relevant to you. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask about rules and regulations. Does the preschool follow the rules you feel are right or important? Local laws? How would exceptions or even conflicts be handled? Also, what are their rules concerning diaper changes, potty, and pacifier?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-01-12T16:43:36.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4041" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4049" CreationDate="2012-01-13T02:02:10.673" Score="4" ViewCount="1906" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby's new trick is rolling onto his tummy. Unfortunately, he hasn't quite figured out how to get back to his back. He remains beached until we flip him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, he doesn't nap because he's too busy getting stuck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas? Do we let him cry it out until he learns to sleep on his tummy? Or do we keep flipping him until he figures it out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2118" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T06:34:58.470" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T15:10:49.367" Title="Should we roll our baby back onto his back so he can sleep?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4041" CreationDate="2012-01-13T04:11:37.670" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is pretty common amongst young infants, and there are several solutions you can adapt based on your parenting philosophy:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Purchase a positioning tool such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babystayasleep.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Stay Asleep&lt;/a&gt;. There are different varieties of these; some of them are not recommended as they can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fda.gov/FORCONSUMERS/CONSUMERUPDATES/UCM227575.HTM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;suffocate your child&lt;/a&gt; (!). You must research the product on your own, check to see if there have been warnings or recalls, and make sure that you are using it properly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Simply flip him back if he isn't comfortable in the position. It's great that he has figured out the first half of rolling over, and we should certainly encourage the behavior when he is not sleeping. But if it really is waking him up, then just gently help rolling him back to the position most comfortable with him. He probably doesn't want to be any more wake than you do. It won't be long before he figures out how to roll back :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you swaddle your baby? Does he like it? Our infants liked it, so we swaddled them pretty tightly. It's hard to move too much in a swaddle, so they can't roll over as easily. It was only when they got older (and by the time had learned how to do a full roll) and our swaddles just weren't strong enough, that we stopped using it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T04:11:37.670" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4043" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4065" CreationDate="2012-01-13T07:50:33.680" Score="13" ViewCount="859" Body="&lt;p&gt;My niece is just under seven years old, and in her first year of school, where she is doing badly. The main problem seems to be that she doesn't do her homework or try to learn, and the reason there, as far as we can figure out, is that if she can not do or learn something on the first try, she gets angry and gives up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like some recommendations on what to do in that case. I  suspect that we need to somehow show/teach her that the harder something is to do, the better it feels once you succeed. But I have no ideas for how to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2012-01-14T14:55:30.987" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T15:59:39.583" Title="How can I teach a child to keep trying after a failure?" Tags="|education|primary-schooler|homework|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4044" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4045" CreationDate="2012-01-13T08:44:35.500" Score="12" ViewCount="40508" Body="&lt;p&gt;For our first baby, we were told by various midwives in no uncertain terms, that babies must &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; be placed on their backs to sleep (no explanation ever given- just instructions!). This was all very well, but our little boy just wouldn't stay asleep for more than a few minutes on his back before waking himself up crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was only when his Grandmother came to stay after a few weeks and placed him on his front that he actually had any kind of lengthy sleep at all. She says that the advice used to be to always do the &lt;em&gt;exact opposite&lt;/em&gt;, and place babies on their front to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are now expecting a second child, and would like advice as to whether we should try our best again to place him on his back as before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T10:10:02.220" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T03:57:24.670" Title="What are the risks of putting a newborn baby to sleep on their front?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4044" CreationDate="2012-01-13T09:50:20.363" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was baby, my the official recommendation was to sleep babies on their stomach. I don't know the scientific/medical reason for that decade (1980's).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to research, sleeping babies on their back greatly reduces &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome#After_birth&quot;&gt;SIDS&lt;/a&gt; probability, and that is the main reason for recommending sleeping on back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_to_Sleep&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Since &quot;Back to Sleep&quot; was launched in 1994, the incidence of SIDS has declined by more than 50%.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many older children and adults also sleep better on their stomach, or on the side. Once the baby is old enough to turn around (and back again), you can't really influence it anymore anyway, so don't worry about SIDS then. Until then, placing the baby face-up is safer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2025" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T10:16:46.530" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T10:16:46.530" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4043" CreationDate="2012-01-13T09:54:35.303" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe you could tell her a story about yourself learning something, which is hard first, and then, when you learn it, it is very fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another very important thing, which is usually not told at school, is that &lt;strong&gt;learning something will make further learning easier&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a great book written about this subject (and other important aspects on learning):&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0470279303&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Why-Dont-Students-Like-School/dp/0470279303&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2025" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T09:54:35.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4031" CreationDate="2012-01-13T10:29:21.123" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been involved with the running of our family nursery for many years. In my experience the following are the things that really matter in a nursery:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Being friendly and welcoming to children and parents. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Providing a    caring environment where children feel comfortable and safe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Providing a large variety of fun activities for all ages. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carrying out an up-to-date educational&#xA;syllabus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Providing healthy and varied meals. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Following good hygiene procedures.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in practical terms, I would recommend to ask about facilities, education, diet and maybe staff-ratios (as you mentioned). And while you're looking around, see if the kids seem happy and entertained, the staff seem friendly and are engaging with the children and that the place is clean and tidy. Also, I'd recommend having a good look at the wall displays- they should give a good idea about the quality of the teaching syllabus. And most importantly- &quot;what is your gut feeling?&quot;- would you feel happy leaving your child there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T10:29:21.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3950" CreationDate="2012-01-13T15:09:12.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have appreciated all of the answers. The only addition I think is important is to look at yourselves. Be gentle. Children with such high expectations for themselves often are like one or both of their parents. If this applies it is useful to acknowledge this and think about what worked for you and what didn't. As the child gets more and more able to deal, let him know what this was like for you growing up. Can you both work on some goals together. There is nothing quite so wonderful than working with a parent on a commonly held problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2116" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T15:09:12.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4041" CreationDate="2012-01-13T15:10:49.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My feeling is once a child can roll they can sleep as they wish.  I also found that once they can get on their tummy they very quickly (with in weeks) learn to roll the other way, as it is easier to do.&#xA;Give him lots of tummy time during the day so he can practice.&#xA;Don't worry about the nap, let him be in his crib, the  nap will come back soon.&#xA;In terms of night time, if you go in every time he ends up on his tummy you will be going back and forth alot and you will be teaching him that every time he cries at night you come which is a dangerous president to set.  On the other hand there is something wrong, he is not crying just to get you to come, so you are stuck (as is he:)).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When I had this problem I went and turned the baby over, but then I found after the baby learned how to do it his/her self I had to re-sleep train (cry it out again), but luckily the second time you do it it is much shorter of a cry it out.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T15:10:49.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4043" CreationDate="2012-01-13T15:23:33.480" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would spend more time worrying about the true root of the problem.  Why is she not learning well?  Is it that she is simply not mature enough to stay focused?  Is it that she is having other emotional issues (social, home, ...)?  Is there some anxiety issue? &#xA;While there are children that just don't try, especially after getting something wrong, there is usually another cause other than just saying they are not trying?  Maybe some sort of evaluation, both academic and social/emotional is in order.  Here in the states most of the states provides it.&#xA;I would not assume it is the teacher's fault, as it appears most people do here.  Instead I would enlist the teacher's help.  Believe it our not, this is not the first time the teacher has seen this problem and may have some ideas on how to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a eight year old that had issues with making mistakes from a very early age.  When she was younger we demonstrated for her how we solved the problem after we made a mistake. Once she started school she did very very well, unfortunately this did not teach her how to deal with any sort of failure.  Just last night she was upset because she is having trouble learning her spelling words and kept getting them wrong.  She went into the fact that all the students in her class are better than her at...and she listed a whole host of things (some true, like singing, some imagined).  We discussed it with her and then tried to make the spelling fun.  We will see how she does when/if she makes mistakes on the test, but overall I feel like this is a good lesson for her. &#xA;In first grade (last year) she had trouble because she sometimes was afraid to try things for fear of getting them wrong (even though she to us she was clearly excelling academically).  We had her tested to be sure that was the issue.  We taught her the word anxiety and discussed with her to let us know when she was feeling that way.  When she did come to us telling us she was anxious we discussed it with her and talked her down from it.  She has been coming to us less and less frequently and I have a feeling it is because she now knows how to talk herself down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although some of the issues with your niece and my daughter are different the overall approach and need to solicit help from outside seems parallel.  Start with the teacher and then move forward.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T15:23:33.480" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4044" CreationDate="2012-01-13T15:26:42.960" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your Grandmother is correct - during their times, it was always recommended to place the baby to sleep on their tummys (because of risk of choking on their own vomit). Babies LOVE sleeping on their tummy - they have a longer, more sound sleep. Has the baby ever fallen asleep on you (on its belly)? They fall into a very deep sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But THAT is the problem with kids sleeping on their belly. The babies are so soundly asleep that they don't wake up to get out of danger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Researchers don't know what exactly causes SIDS.  They really don't. All they know is that the risk of death is greater when the infant is sleeping on their belly versus when sleeping on their backs.   At the same time, studies have shown that an infant has the same likelihood of choking and dying regardless of the sleeping position it is in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;SIDS is a very real thing. Even today, 3000 babies die from it every year in the US. Before the &quot;Back to Sleep&quot; (sleep on back) campaign was launched, more than twice as many infants use to die. Just because none of your Grandmother's children lost their lives to SIDS, doesn't mean that it won't happen. It can happen. It does happen. I would highly recommend reading more about SIDS (just ask your ob, midwife, pediatrician, doctor) and the risks of putting your child to sleep on their tummy. The highest risk of SIDS is between the 2-4 months of age; the risk disappears after 1 year of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-01-13T17:04:37.487" LastActivityDate="2012-01-13T17:04:37.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2012-01-14T12:50:07.410" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Reduce the frequency of the sweets&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are in the habit of giving sweets after &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; meal.  This is a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like they have an &lt;em&gt;expectation&lt;/em&gt; for sweets.  Remove that, by simply making sweets &lt;em&gt;occassional&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;not daily&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's pretty obvious why you should limit sweets.  Sweets are high in calories and provide &lt;em&gt;very little&lt;/em&gt; nutrition, while at the same time supplying plenty of calories.  If your diet is made up primarily of sweets, you won't have enough minerals, proteins, and other such things.  Plus, sweets are very bad for a child's teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-01-14T12:50:07.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4053" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4056" CreationDate="2012-01-14T14:33:28.083" Score="12" ViewCount="31432" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a parent (usually Dad) spends time with the 2- to 4-year old child before leaving for work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, after leaving, sometimes, the child cries &lt;em&gt;nonstop&lt;/em&gt; (1 to 2 hours).  Everything you offer during this period is refused, and there is a fixation on (whoever left).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some ways to handle this situation, knowing that &lt;em&gt;favorite toys&lt;/em&gt; (even new, stocked up toys) etc. are refused?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it better for Daddy to leave in the morning without being seen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-29T06:37:30.077" LastActivityDate="2018-03-29T07:41:52.950" Title="How can we prevent crying when a parent leaves for work?" Tags="|separation|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1766" CreationDate="2012-01-14T14:39:18.667" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think &lt;strong&gt;it depends on the child&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being the &lt;em&gt;new kid&lt;/em&gt; is &lt;em&gt;always hard&lt;/em&gt;, and there are a number of movies that depict this in detail (can't cite any now!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, inevitably, &lt;strong&gt;it all depends on the child and their ability to manage themselves socially&lt;/strong&gt;.  When I was in grade school, there were new kids that were &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; well received, and new kids that were just loners.  It all depends on the child, how and sociable they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How &lt;em&gt;social&lt;/em&gt; a child is has a dependence on their interest range, whether or not they can relate to kids in the new area.  And that's way beyond the scope of this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-01-14T14:39:18.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4053" CreationDate="2012-01-14T19:15:21.673" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, it depends on the child's age and maturity. &#xA;I think the parent can preper the child for what is about to happen by narrating the near future in a way the child can understand. for instance: &quot;mommy will play with you now, and then mommy will give you a big hug and three kisses and will go. you will stay with daddy, and when it is dark outside mommy will come back&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it is important to follow the narration as closely as possible, and to keep reminding the child what's coming up next. e.g &quot;now I go, I will come back when it is dark outside&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when children know what is going to happen they become more secure and less anxious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2012-01-14T19:15:21.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4053" CreationDate="2012-01-14T21:39:55.043" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of your job as a parent is to introduce &lt;em&gt;realistic expectations&lt;/em&gt; for your child when the world does certain things. Mommy, Daddy or both will probably need to be inaccessible for protracted amounts of time in order to work, even if one or both don't leave the house to do so. I kind of think 'vanishing' dodges that, at any age .. but we all lose idealism when our kids get really upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the age of your child, books &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0688170447&quot;&gt;like this one&lt;/a&gt; can help a bit, but what works the best (if your child has reached the age of conversation) is not excusing your absence, but &lt;em&gt;explaining it&lt;/em&gt;. Turn on a light switch, for instance and &lt;em&gt;explain&lt;/em&gt; that if you don't go to work, the light might not work for very long. Take out a box of pancake mix, make some and explain that if you did not go to work, there might not be so many pancakes. Then involve your child and let &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; come up with ways to &lt;em&gt;help&lt;/em&gt; you go to work, or vanish in your home office for hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is not to instill some sort of trepidation in the child, they should not be worrying about your job, so take &lt;em&gt;special&lt;/em&gt; care to discuss work related hiccups when your child is not around. Make it a positive thing. Tell your child how what you do makes something better, talk about your work friends, bring home random office supplies as gifts and make it a point to introduce 'special' events when things go well at work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, this depends entirely on the age of your child, but I'm quite sure bits of it could be adapted to fit your current problem :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2012-01-14T21:39:55.043" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-01-15T16:30:35.403" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Techniques and tools to improve handwriting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing how to form the letters is important so that they aren't stopping and starting. Training the muscles to make &lt;strong&gt;smooth movements&lt;/strong&gt; takes practice and, of course, time for development. My kids are Lego fiends, who enjoy using the tiniest of pieces and their hand-writing is atrocious unless they &lt;strong&gt;concentrate and focus&lt;/strong&gt; on forming the letters correctly. Here are my suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some say use larger pencils because they are easier to hold. As a grade 1 teacher, it helped some but not all. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With my own children I used &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thepencilgrip.com/dyn_prodlist.php?k=27471&quot;&gt;pencil grips&lt;/a&gt; that encourage proper grasp. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes just using a &lt;strong&gt;better pen&lt;/strong&gt; made all the difference. (Perhaps because they were more careful?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We have a &lt;strong&gt;whiteboard&lt;/strong&gt; in our kitchen where we model writing (messages and lists) and encourage our children to write too (they take turns adding to the lists and leaving messages). Drawing with markers seems to be easier than with crayons or pencils or some pens.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach &lt;strong&gt;cursive first&lt;/strong&gt;. It's more fluid. (Montessori schools often do this.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tracing exercises&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kumon.ne.jp/english/about/worksheets.html&quot;&gt;Kumon worksheets&lt;/a&gt; have a number of tracing exercises that get&#xA;progressively more difficult. You can buy their workbooks from most&#xA;bookstores.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Another way is to lightly write the letters in dashed lines. Here are some worksheets for practice &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.first-school.ws/theme/handwriting.htm&quot;&gt;printing&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidzone.ws/cursive/index.htm&quot;&gt;writing&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A faster way is to write things with a yellow marker so that she can write overtop (trace). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drawing curves and circles is important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use chopsticks&lt;/strong&gt;. These use the same muscles and have a built in reward system (food)! This is something the whole family can learn to use together. Smaller sets are available (usually in Chinatown), or find some wooden ones that you can modify. You can also get what we call &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1940452_1940402_1940410,00.html&quot;&gt;cheater chopsticks&lt;/a&gt;&quot; that have the same movement but require less coordination. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use &lt;strong&gt;lined paper&lt;/strong&gt; and be firm about them doing their best work and staying in the lines. Erase work that is not their best until they do it properly. This sounds severe, just be pleasant about it and matter-of-fact. 7-year-olds may have messy letters but this one thing, staying in the lines, will have the most impact. Praise good work!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Practice &lt;strong&gt;discrimination&lt;/strong&gt;. Have them circle their best work. For rows of practice letters, circle the 3 that they think are the best. Then you circle the 3 that you think are the best and say why. Sometimes you won't choose the same letters but eventually your criteria will converge.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2012-01-15T16:39:04.797" LastActivityDate="2012-01-15T16:39:04.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3742" CreationDate="2012-01-15T16:56:21.103" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lives are generally divided into:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;parents' time: together, with kids, with friends, alone, and at work&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;kids' time: together (with siblings), with parents, with friends, alone, and at school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is to find natural intersections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schedule lessons at the same time as their friends. This way, the kids get to do stuff together and as a bonus, if you are friends with the parents, you get to socialize too. There is a park by swimming lessons so we plan to go a bit early to give the kids a chance to socialize before the lesson. A short playdate (10 mins in the park) then becomes longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we have consciously under-programmed our children. This way, we have more family time, especially on weekends. We want to be able to spend time with each child one-on-one. This usually happens during grocery shopping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from mealtimes, where breakfast is our rallying point (since they are still young), Friday night games help bring us together. Friends are not entirely excluded because &quot;friends are the family you choose&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2012-01-15T16:56:21.103" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4059" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-15T19:02:13.780" Score="24" ViewCount="191381" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby has always loved bath-time, almost since he was born. He learned to splash when he was only a couple of months old and loves to play around with the water, and over the past few weeks I've been giving him bath toys. He could stay in there as long as you let him, happy and letting all his energy out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's now 8 1/2 months, and the past few nights his behavior has changed. About 3 nights ago he suddenly started shrieking inconsolably in middle of the bath, and kept it up till he was taken out and dressed. The next night his behavior was the same, although I managed to distract him for a couple of minutes with his toys, but a bit later he went back to screaming. Tonight when we took him into the bathroom he started screaming as soon as he saw the water and kept it up all through the bath, acting terrified and miserable and not even paying attention to his bath toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the room and the water are warm enough (and not too hot), and nothing around him has changed. Why the sudden change of attitude?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastActivityDate="2019-04-08T15:03:09.013" Title="Why is my baby suddenly screaming in the bath?" Tags="|infant|bathing|fears|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4059" CreationDate="2012-01-15T19:25:44.810" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something happened. What, nobody knows except him. Probably he is now reminded of this when you give him a bath, and he starts screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you now force him to have a bath even though he is screaming, this will just keep on making it worse. For every bath you give him while he is screaming, the association between horror and bathing will be stronger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll need to reverse that process, by &quot;amateur behavioral therapy&quot;, ie, you will have to make bath time fun, and you will have to make him slowly get used to bath time again, making sure you keep it fun and happy at all times, and that you also take him out &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; he want to, so that he longs back to the bath, and remember &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; the next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've gone through several spells like this with my daughter, the first one cause by her not liking the bathtub we used at my grandmas, one by her having to take a baths in the big tub at her aunties, as there was no small tub there, and one or two others of unknown origin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Patient, calm and gradual approaches to bathing worked, starting with a patient, calm and gradual approach to the bath tub. Make sure he doesn't scream when he sees the bath tub. Let him play in it without water. The next day you fill it with water and let him splash, but do not put him into the water. The next day he might stand in the water and splash. Then next day wash him, while he is standing. The next day he can sit and play, and soon you'll be back to happy bath times again!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used the same approach to get her used to using the big tub, which she originally was scared of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2012-01-15T19:25:44.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-01-15T22:33:50.930" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking from personal experience, I had a lot of trouble learning to write. I found it awkward and frustrating making the tiny movements, and because the results always looked poor, I didn't enjoy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was an older teenager my parents arranged for me to see a handwriting specialist. She analysed exactly which specific movements were difficult for me. In my case it was the bottom half of clockwise curves, so lower case g, f, j, and o in particular were painful and awkward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution was incredibly simple, write in copperplate. My handwriting went from slow and illegible to quite reasonable in that one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just an answer from personal experience, but if I was trying to help a child, I would be looking closely for specific movements that the child finds difficult, and then working out a way to change the handwriting style to avoid those movements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2012-01-15T22:33:50.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2012-01-15T22:52:12.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've tried various different methods for each of our three, and of course no child is the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Controlled Crying&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our eldest we resorted to controlled crying, leaving for one minute, then two, up to a maximum of five, soothing each time, with the idea being that he would learn to go to sleep by himself. This took about three days and did work, he now sleeps well. I actually regret this now, and would probably take a different approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Luck of the draw&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 3 year old is very even tempered and just started managing it at about 9 months. No intervention required. If your baby is waking up hungry, it may just be a phase that you have to wait out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shush Pat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did this for our youngest. We waited till she was on solids at 6 months, then in the night I would shush pat her back to sleep, without lifting her. Shush pat is a gentle pat on the bottom and a slow regular shushing sound. I think this works best if the man does it because there's no milk association. Also I need to make sure the bed isn't damp with drool. For some babies this works like a charm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of methods that work, and everyone has their favourite. Also every child has their own temperament and only you know your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck with it, it isn't forever, and keep in mind it will end soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2012-01-15T22:52:12.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2012-01-15T23:43:52.323" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apart from the fact that this sweets ordeal can be prevented almost entirely, if you're &lt;em&gt;early&lt;/em&gt; adopting a cautious and disciplined policy, my best advice would be to tell them the actual truth:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Because sweets are poison&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If above doesn't 'take', there's further elaboration …&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;It makes people die&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Effects of sugar&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;'Poison' may not be the perfect epithet for something that has deleterious effects on health. Likewise, the 'makes people dead' statement obviously isn't meant to imply that people are dying on the spot by eating candy – rather, that candy has long-term effects which by extension may lead to life-shortening or lethal outcomes (more or less likely depending on the amount of eating, of course). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think common repudiatory arguments such as, there's lots of other things which potentially risk making people ill/unhealthy/dead – other kinds of consumption articles, living circumstances, stress behaviors, etc. – fails to answer the question regarding candy: why worsen the odds of a healthy life for your kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not a scientist by any stretch – just a layman and parent who cares a lot about my two sons. Therefore, I'd like to add a disclaimer that there might be flaws in my interpretation of the things I refer to below. Now:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Among government and institution reports, scattered articles etc., I base my statements in the answer (where it can be argued that I inappropriately stated that it was the 'actual truth') on the research of one of the world's most reputable specialists on pediatric hormone disorders and leading experts on childhood obesity, Robert H. Lustig. According to him, some of the prominent long-term consequences (or at least risks) of added sugar – that is, sucrose (refined sugar) or High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fatty liver, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;insulin resistance,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;obesity,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;heart disease,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hypertension,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cancer …&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe that's enough bad stuff to warrant calling it poison? I don't know, it's my personal view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further info on the predicaments of sugar according to Lustig (which I find very informative):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/magazine/mag-17Sugar-t.html?pagewanted=all&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Is Sugar Toxic?&quot; (NY Times article, 2011)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Sugar: The Bitter Truth&quot; (Robert H. Lustig, 2009 seminar; YouTube)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z5X0i92OZQ&amp;amp;feature=related&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;^Same seminar, March 24, 2011; YouTube&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Poison in candy&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from the deleterious effects of added sugar in sweets, there's also perennial reports of candy being recalled. A few sources related to that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www2.ocregister.com/multimedia/lead/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Toxic Treats Index:&lt;/a&gt; The CA state Childhood Lead Poisoning Branch, Food and Drug Administration and Orange County have conducted tests for lead in candy since 1993. Out of 1,503 individual test results, there were 400 tests showing lead-contaminated candy – 261 for candy samples and 139 for wrappers.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://j.mp/xoR9DO&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;A list of the most recent withdrawn candy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://j.mp/ypUV3U&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDPH (California Department of Public Health) - List of recent test results for lead in candy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://j.mp/wJOpqI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDPH - Photos of candies found to contain lead – updated December 29, 2011&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/nceh/lead/tips/candy.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Lead poisoning from candies – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention&lt;/a&gt; (Seems mostly pointing at mexican candy imports.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dailyfinance.com/2011/01/14/toxic-waste-nuclear-sludge-candy-recalled-over-lead-levels/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge&quot; recalled over high levels of lead&lt;/a&gt; (A pretty recent event.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/sasha-parentingcom/candy-recall-raisinets-and-mega-pop-lollipops&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Minute traces&quot; of stainless steel in Colombina Mega Pops Lollipops&lt;/a&gt; (Yummy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://j.mp/xuWUtr&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Formalin-glazed Candies, Anyone?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7966530&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Thallium poisoning from maliciously contaminated marzipan candy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The list could go on indefinitely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;… There's also a bunch of candy containing allergens (unlisted sulfites, peanut traces, etc) but I guess that's peanuts (pun) compared to heavy metals and the long-term effects of added sugar. Again, candy shouldn't be singled out as a unique example of recalled consumption articles, obviously, but the point I'm trying to make is, stay alert to what kind of candies you let your kids eat, if any. Contemplate the amount of added sugar your kids consume. Without laying any further weight to whether it's justified or not – well, I fail miserably hiding my personal bias – at least ponder Lustig's notion of thinking of sugar, like cigarettes and alcohol, as something that's killing us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2125" LastEditorUserId="2125" LastEditDate="2012-01-23T16:20:41.993" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T16:20:41.993" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4043" CreationDate="2012-01-16T05:50:40.440" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should praise effort and not intelligence. Children praised on intelligence are afraid of failure. But if you praise them on effort they are more likely to try and stick with it. &lt;a href=&quot;http://trickistokeepbreathing.wordpress.com/2011/04/26/praise-effort-not-ability/&quot;&gt;http://trickistokeepbreathing.wordpress.com/2011/04/26/praise-effort-not-ability/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2127" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T05:50:40.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4043" CreationDate="2012-01-16T08:35:38.973" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nobody else has touched on this, and as an American, I'm not sure how it translates to European educational systems, but isn't 7 a late start? In my experience, this is a problem that I had with my kids when they were about 5, in kindergarten. I don't think it's a &lt;strong&gt;problem&lt;/strong&gt; problem, but you may find yourself dealing with some age issues later on... an 18 yo junior in hs comes to mind. Just sayin &quot;be prepared&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question, in my experience, this is the kind of thing that requires intense 1-on-1 time. Just like cleaning their room or the after school routine, homework and school is a process that needs to be taught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my own kids, I always sat with them, body contact (whether sitting on my lap or thigh-to-thigh next to each other), arm around and worked on the homework. it's a protection stance (I didn't really think about it at the time, but in retrospect that's what it was). We'd work thru the questions. When we'd hit that wall, then it's time for encouragement. &quot;cmon, man, you can do this. you've been saying your ABC's since you were a baby, so lets try it again.&quot; and we'd keep at it until there was some kinda success, then of course the 'attaboys'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend as much of the same as is appropriate for the relationship. Sit close, teach the kid how to do it, support them thru a few examples. then once they get the hang of it, you can walk away. It may take a couple sessions before they're ready to fly on their own, but with the right motivation, they'll get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T08:35:38.973" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2012-01-16T08:43:35.033" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will support Morah's &quot;don't give in&quot; with a reason: when you negotiate with terrorists . . . er i mean 2 yo's, the adult does all the compromising. all a 2 yo knows is what they want. they have little concept of value beyond &quot;mine&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, depending on the child, they may have a hard time learning from &quot;go to your room&quot; and staying in there to cry it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you drop the sweets altogether. cold turkey. &quot;we don't have any. sorry.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;holla holla holla holla whine bitch cry scream &quot;I'm not going to talk to you if you're crying.&quot; and the anthem for the time they're in their room, &quot;Are you done crying? when you're done crying, we can talk about it&quot; tossed out every minute or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;really... cold turkey. cut it completely out. because you're building their eating habits for the next hundred years. I read somewhere that a human learns more at the age of 2-3 than the whole of the rest of their lives. and it's as good a time as any to try and break the fat/carbs/sugars habit. You might couple this with some kinda rearrangement of dinner. maybe change the dining room around or eat in different places at the table or SOMETHING to give it a psychological break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, once the habit is sufficiently broken (it may not be, you'll know in a couple months) then you can bring back the sweets every now and then. but for right now i think you should cut it entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[edit] Something that I thought of while replying to another post: If your 2 yo is getting enough &lt;strong&gt;junk sweets&lt;/strong&gt; to be pissing and moaning about it, I really think you should go cold turkey, perhaps for the entire family unit. You are truly setting up your child for long term health problems (even juvenile diabetes) and a &lt;em&gt;lifetime&lt;/em&gt; of weight related problems and bodily attachment to the health-care industrial complex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-01-16T17:04:35.080" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T17:04:35.080" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4059" CreationDate="2012-01-16T09:03:17.177" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Something happened. What, nobody knows except him. Probably he is now reminded of this when you give him a bath, and he starts screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is absolutely correct. If you continue with the 'forced' (for lack of a better word) bathing, then it'll wind up being miserable forevermore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is it? could be some kinda soreness on his li'l bum. maybe he had . . . well i dunno what you'd call it in a nice way, but let's just call it 'diaper juice' . . . maybe he had diaper juice that chafed his li'l rectum or in a fat crease and the water/soap was irritating. You might check him out closely. I'm truly just grasping here, but the bottom line is that it probably had to do with something that was physically irritating, and now he want's nothing to do with bathtime. be sure to get into all his little creases with the wipes when you're cleaning him up, and to do a good crease-rinse before actual washing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you change up bathtime completely. make it different. how do you do that? Take a shower. you with him. hold him in the shower with you, let the water splash over him, let him tongue the jets, chew on a towel, etc etc. I alwasy held with one arm with the other arm supporting so you're holding with both arms and it's pretty sturdy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then after a few minutes of that, set down the bath chair in the tub and put him in it with the water falling towards him. This works best if you have a hand-nozzle shower as you can point it wherever you want and change the stream to something soft. sure there's no bath toys, but he'll love being in there with either parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;do this 3-5 times. The point is that you're hoping he forgets and you can go back to baths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T09:03:17.177" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4015" CreationDate="2012-01-16T09:13:52.930" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I realize the manufacturers are trying to make the vitamins appealing, but how much benefit is my daughter getting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe this is the core of the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) I'm not a fan of artificially medicating. Unless your kids Dr has said &quot;you should give li'l Marceline a vitamin&quot; then it stands to reason that you're not really helping, and you could be hurting (overdoing it). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) I'm not a fan of artificial foods. High Fructose Corn Syrup, or Corn Sugar as it's now called, and food colorings can be detrimental . . . especially since it's a daily dose to a human body system that is still trying to figure out how the hell it's supposed to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) About the quote... and I'm telling myself that I'm not going to rant on it. I do not believe than juvenile multivitamins are anything more than a money maker for the Health Industrial Complex. There may be some slight benefits to actually taking them, as pointed out by studies performed by organizations with unknown or questionable relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: If you take the entire story into account (hfcs, food coloring, potential for od, actual help, etc) I doubt very seriously that the result is a tangible net positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T09:13:52.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4053" CreationDate="2012-01-16T09:20:55.213" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;do not sneak off.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; I simply cannot stress this enough. I may sound 'sky is falling' but it's absolutely true that doing so regularly could lead to abandonment issues. You have to say bye, and he has to know it's coming and he has to get used to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the sitter should start with routine. Soon as you're out the door, it's time to start the morning routine. Not food, cuz that's just asking for a mess, but something interactive. Maybe reading, playing with blocks, drawing, whatever. and the sitter should do that REGARDLESS of the kids interaction. if the kid is crying, remind them every minute or so... &quot;come on down from there and lets read this book.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;of course, you'll get the arched back and the painful screaming because all they want to do right now is cry. &quot;Daddy's gone to work, he'll be back later. but we have a puzzle here we can work on.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;that's my suggestion. none of my kids ever did this, but i've known those that did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T09:20:55.213" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4070" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4075" CreationDate="2012-01-16T09:35:42.820" Score="12" ViewCount="2276" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe in homeopathy&lt;sup&gt;1)&lt;/sup&gt;, but my wife does. Regardless of your personal stance on this, I'd like to know &lt;strong&gt;what are good ways to resolve a disagreement on homeopathy?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know the underlying science is &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/search?q=homeopathy&quot;&gt;discussed over at Skeptics.SE&lt;/a&gt; but I am not asking about the science -- I am asking how resolving the conflict between the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife takes after her mother and gives our 2yo son homeopathic stuff when he's ill. I have two problems with that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Homeopathy is not medicine. It has no active ingredients.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If my son is not &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; ill but in slight discomfort (e.g. mild coughing), then I let my wife do her thing to avoid unnecessary conflict and let any potential placebo effect work. But if he's ill enough to need actual medicine, then I make sure he gets it. I don't trust placebo to cure actual illnesses.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I see that my son cannot tell the difference between homeopathy and real medicine.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I fear this might cause him to ingest real medicine at some point when we're not looking, because he hasn't understood that it might be dangerous. If I allow him to beg for homeopathy (essentially &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/q/75/3467&quot;&gt;small sugar pills&lt;/a&gt;) and mommy gives in to the begging, then what's to stop him from doing the same with real medicine?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am particularly worried because our pediatrician prefers homeopathic treatments as a first step (which inexplicably seems to be legal where we live) and will only ramp up to &quot;real&quot; medicine if the condition gets worse. &lt;em&gt;That kind of thinking is what killed Steve Jobs.&lt;/em&gt; I feel that Austria is kind of the Dark Ages of medicine and I'm the only one who's discovered modern science.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1)&lt;/sup&gt; I know there are million arguments for and against homeopathy. One very public opponent is &lt;a href=&quot;http://depletedcranium.com/james-randi-takes-on-homeopathy/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;James Randi&lt;/a&gt;, but to me he's just a useful figurehead for the general &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ukskeptics.com/homeopathic-dilutions.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;science-based notion&lt;/a&gt; that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.1023.org.uk/why-you-cant-trust-homeopathy.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;it's a hoax&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2016-02-26T17:54:36.513" Title="How should parents handle disagreement over medicine?" Tags="|health|medicine|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4044" CreationDate="2012-01-16T09:38:46.493" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So here's the deal:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sleep infants on their back. It can reduce SIDS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sleep infants on their stomach and eveyrone gets a full nights sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, tho, what is SIDS anyway? I read an article about a woman that had a couple babies die of SIDS. Come to find out, the babies were sleeping in her bed. And since she was a large woman she was actually suffocating the babies unintentionally. Is &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; SIDS? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically what it comes down to is this: It's a choice between the risk and the quality-of-life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, we always kept all the potential breathing problems out of the crib, and put the baby on their stomach. I always felt that the risk was ridiculously lower than the potential benefit of being able to sleep 4hr+ at a crack. When baby sleeps, we all sleep. When we all sleep, we can drive to work without wrapping up around a light pole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T09:38:46.493" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4003" CreationDate="2012-01-16T09:51:21.123" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I evaluate based on what my parents did or didn't do. I tend to believe that my parents did it poorly, so that is my baseline for comparison.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I simply try to do it better than they did. Everytime I feel I did better, I chalk up a score and make a touchdown signal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;End result: my older (20,18) kids like me enuf to drop by unannounced to eat up all my lasagna, and my younger kids (10,8,6) just sat and watched &quot;CNN Presents: Anonymous&quot; with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;\o/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T09:51:21.123" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4032" CreationDate="2012-01-16T09:59:48.817" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 2 month old doesn't have a whole lot of interests yet anyway, so there isn't a whole lot that can be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest several things: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do NOT go the Benadryl route until you've exhausted all other options.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do NOT be afraid to stop for &quot;a while&quot; . . . I know you don't want to be all month gettin' where you're goin', but if you need to stop for :90 and play at the park, then do it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do NOT be afraid to jack them into a video. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. It will probably do nothing more than be a tranquilizer anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-01-08T03:53:45.657" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T03:53:45.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2012-01-16T10:18:53.450" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the city i live in, there's an All Comedy radio station. whenever i plop behind the wheel, that station is on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day there was a comedian that said something to the effect of ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mothers are bad for kids. If a toddler is walking towards an outlet with a safety-pin in hand, the mother is gonna reach down, holler &amp;quot;No! don't ever do that!&amp;quot; and then the kid will grow up hating mom because she never lets him do antyhing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If Dad sees that same scenario, he leans over to his buddy (laughingly) &amp;quot;hey... watch this.&amp;quot; and the kid learns by direct example not to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's my advice. Sure, downvote me for the &amp;quot;oh my god!&amp;quot; advice, but I guarantee results. The zap that comes out of an outlet will tingle the arm but is not enough juice to be anything more than a big surprise. And you won't have to worry about it when he goes over to someone elses house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you both will have learned a lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T10:18:53.450" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4070" CreationDate="2012-01-16T13:44:17.540" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the perspective &lt;em&gt;of this site&lt;/em&gt; (as opposed to &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/&quot;&gt;Skeptics.SE&lt;/a&gt;), it doesn't matter whether the medical treatment in question is Homeopathy or Vaccination or Penicillin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue is that your wife and you have a disagreement over how you medically treat your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone can correct me if they think they have a contender, but I'm willing to say that &lt;strong&gt;there is no more controversial topic&lt;/strong&gt; than the cross-section of medicine and children, in terms of both the uncertainty and the emotional investment. Nobody really knows 100% what to do, and the consequences of getting it wrong are the stuff of nightmares.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing to be clear about is that &lt;em&gt;You Are Not A Doctor&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do not have a medical degree. Your information comes from newspapers and internet sites. Yes, you probably know more than most people, but &lt;em&gt;so does your partner&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what it comes down to is communication. You have clearly expressed worries and concerns. &lt;strong&gt;You need to express them to your partner and see what she says, in a non-confrontational way.&lt;/strong&gt; Explain that this is something that's actually troubling you, and that you don't feel comfortable with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea if you'll be able to convince her to stop doing this, but in this case I'd be hoping to &lt;strong&gt;stop treating the homeopathic sweets as medicine, and start treating them as a treat&lt;/strong&gt;. If your son sees them as just a sweet treat like ice-cream, that will separate them in his mind from pills with actual side-effects. Also, it'll mean he stops seeing them as something medical, and instead just something pleasant you get when sick, like TV in bed, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is bordering on marital advice, but one thing I did notice is that you've given some very valid reasons for your side, but for your wife's it's just the phrase &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://mikeschinkel.com/blog/conventionalwisdomassumptionsandpotroast/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;takes after her mother&lt;/a&gt;&quot;. It'd be interesting to update the question with how she sees this issue. It may also be that when your child is sick, she feels very helpless and vulnerable, and giving him something like this helps her. Or she may feel that even if it's nonsense, it's better to do this and have it do nothing than to do nothing and wonder if you could have done something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;CAVEAT:&lt;/strong&gt; If you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; have a medical degree, and your wife doesn't trust your medical advice regarding your child, seek couple's counselling immediately as a preventative measure. There are trust issues there that no website should be touching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;DISCLAIMER:&lt;/strong&gt; I firmly believe that homeopathy is a very good way for charlatans to sucker the desperate and foolish. However, there is something interesting in the concept of more &quot;holistic care&quot; over throwing pills at a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2012-03-22T17:21:11.587" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4070" CreationDate="2012-01-16T13:51:45.120" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;To start with, I am neither a skeptic nor a believer regarding homeopathy. My brother is a vet, and he has used it successfully to cure animals. Some very close friends of us have used it for years, on all of their children, reportedly with great results. My wife has tried several times, without any noticeable effect. I know there has been no scienetifically solid proof of it presented yet, OTOH I feel that the nature of it might make it unsuitable for group studies. I keep my opinion open on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Curing illnesses&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my understanding, homeopathy is claimed to be most suitable for chronic, not very well defined cases, for which traditional western medicine often doesn't have a cure, or even a diagnosis. For acute cases where the child is seriously ill and may get bad repercussions or even die in a short time unless gets treated correctly, IMHO it is indeed better to opt for western medicine. I don't think any serious homeopathic practicioner would advise you &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to take antibiotics if your child has e.g. pneumonia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Giving pills to the child just for the taste&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is a mistake. In your wife's opinion, homeopathic pills are medicine(-like) substances, with potential deep effects on the body. Obviously such substances shouldn't be given to the child just because they taste sweet. The same way as noone gives their children painkiller as dessert just because it comes in the form of a pink goo with nice (if artificial) strawberry taste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, medicine(-like substance) of any kind should be kept out of reach of children, period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Disagreement of parents&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a hugely personal issue, which is really difficult to answer properly without knowing either of you in person - especially as you tell close to nothing about your wife's stance and motives. In general, I would try to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Focus on practical aspects of the question, like you partly did with the above post.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Suppress my personal beliefs/convictions on the subject during discussion with wife, to avoid religious arguments.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to understand - or rather, feel into - the other side better. Have you discussed with your wife and your mother-in-law why are they proponents of homeopathy? Even if you disagree with the method, you can get closer to the person this way. Obviously your mother-in-law is important to your wife, and your wife is important to you, and I assume you would like to build and strengthen your relationship rather than break it. IMHO no argument is worth winning, if the price to pay is breaking a loving relationship.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accept that there exist questions without a well defined answer - that's a tough one for the rational mind, as it is basically an amazing answer-generating machine. Often we feel uncomfortable facing a question without an answer, so we are tempted to accept (or even generate) answers as definite, just to fill in the void. IMHO all sorts of believers are susceptible to this, just as well as skeptics.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T13:59:49.493" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4070" CreationDate="2012-01-16T14:53:05.633" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since the root of the issue seems to be about resolving parenting style conflicts I would look at discussion that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can bring up this subject and discuss how you want to handle this sort of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Communication is the key. You need to establish the process you will use when issues of difference of opinion and parenting style arise and agree that you will resolve those conflicts in a fair and clear manner. Issues of parental inconsistency, mis-communication, confusion and competition can cause lots of problems for couples and for their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have established how you want to work out these issues, then you can approach the specifics of the homeopathy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Acknowledge that you don't fell it is appropriate for your child, that reasons why and offer a solution. Never attack the other person for having their opinions and beliefs, but try to understand where they developed them from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If appropriate, and you both agree that your pediatrician is the right person, ask them to weigh in on the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you can't do any of that until you establish the ground rules for how to resolve parenting conflicts between you and your partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T14:53:05.633" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4078" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-16T18:16:44.460" Score="22" ViewCount="2774" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I often find that we parent differently.  We know that up to a point that is why every child (hopefully) as two parents, so they can learn about difference in people, their approaches, and that different can be good.  However, there have been times were our disagreements can cause trouble.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For example&#xA;It is fine if he is more into horse play with them then I am--different people, different styles.&#xA;It is not okay (to either one of us) that we enforce bedtimes differently (one of us watches the clock, and one of us doesn't care(and admits that).&#xA;(I can give more examples if required)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the question is: &lt;strong&gt;How do parents disagree with one another on parenting issues and come to a resolution?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question was inspired by the question about medication for our children, but here I am asking about general parenting, not life threatening (God forbid) situations or questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T09:52:10.757" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T10:32:14.913" Title="What to do when parents disagree regarding their parenting" Tags="|conflict|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4079" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4085" CreationDate="2012-01-16T18:24:45.300" Score="13" ViewCount="803" Body="&lt;p&gt;For some, seeing the kindergarten teacher have such remarkable control over 20 children seems astonishing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But she doesn't get that without &lt;em&gt;doing something&lt;/em&gt;.  And the children don't always tell you what injustices have occurred during the day, even if you ask them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now a child is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; wanting to go to school.  1-2 hours of crying in the morning.  When you ask him, he says things like &quot;it goes on for a long, long, long time.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it seems like it's more than that.  We suspected bullying, but answers to questions like &quot;who do you like to play with, and why?&quot; and &quot;who do you not like to play with, and why??&quot; have answers like &quot;Lloyd&quot;, they don't seem to point to bullying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we kept assuming it had to do with the other children.  But the children &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; seem to be bullying each other.  One time one of us observed an Science activity put on by the teacher, we observed &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; obedient, well behaved kids, who went and sat on the carpet when told, and put their hands on their head when told, and ate their lunches when told, and didn't talk or interact with each other much &lt;em&gt;at all&lt;/em&gt;.  Like little robots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if you suspect the teacher's tactic for getting control is harsh, and hurting your child psychologically?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you investigate what's going on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T14:18:25.883" Title="How do you investigate what's going on in the pre-kindergarten classroom?" Tags="|teacher|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4081" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4092" CreationDate="2012-01-16T20:17:59.900" Score="4" ViewCount="258" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have six month old twin daughters whom we have just begun to feed solid foods. Per our doctor's instructions we have begun feeding the girls &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00K5U6U90&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Beech-Nut Rice Cereal&lt;/a&gt;. In an effort to control acid-reflux one of the twins has had this rice cereal in her bottle for many months. This twin is doing excellent with spoon feeding, the other is not. Each spoon feeding session quickly causes her to break down into a fit of hysterics. We aren't sure if this is because she does not like the taste or if she isn't ready for spoon feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than working with her do we have other options for limiting her fit? Should we wait a few weeks and try again? Should we try adding rice cereal to her bottle to get her used to the taste?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1483" LastEditorUserId="1483" LastEditDate="2017-01-06T03:46:55.490" LastActivityDate="2017-01-06T03:46:55.490" Title="How to improve the introduction of solid food?" Tags="|infant|feeding|solids|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4078" CreationDate="2012-01-16T20:21:20.270" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me chime in from the male side :-) My wife and I too have disagreements over various topics of child rearing. One of them actually is bedtime. I am more lenient on this, she is more watching the clock. We had numerous discussions over this, where we both presented our case and tried to understand the other's points. Part of this is cultural (I am Hungarian, she is Finnish) and gender based too. However, she explained that the children need ample time to sleep, otherwise next morning they wake up tired, thus they will be grumpy the whole day, in the worst case making the life of the whole family hell (and especially hers, being the one at home with the children, while I am at work most of the day, so I don't experience that much of these problems). I had to accept the rationale behind this. In other occasions, we disagree when she is adamant on leaving from e.g. family reunions early so that the kids get to bed at the usual time. After numerous discussions (and the kids growing older), she is less rigid now on these special occasions, if they fall on weekends so the girls can sleep longer the next morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think if the parents can sit down and talk through such issues calmly, focusing on problem solving, they can get to satisfying compromises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What might often be behind such issues is that one of the parents (typically the husband) may not be that much involved in the practicalities of parenting. He often is busy earning the money and spends less time with the children. In the worst cases, he may not even know much about the children's life, and their mom's daily challenges. When our firstborn was a baby, I spent a year at home with her, while my wife went back to work, so I had the luck to experience that side too, and I learnt to appreciate being successful in that role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I had to realize was that parenting requires an awful lot of planning ahead. Outsiders don't see this, so they fail to understand why a mom is requesting this or that at a certain point, when they don't &lt;em&gt;yet&lt;/em&gt; see the need for that. But by the time it gets noticeable to everyone, it may already be too late to &lt;em&gt;start&lt;/em&gt; preparing for it. Like making food. If I start worrying about the lunch only when my children are already hungry, I am in deep trouble. (And I might save the day once or twice by a quick call to the pizzeria for home delivery, but that too, if used as a general solution, brings its own problems in time... however, in order to be able to regularly supply my family with healthy home made food, I need to plan and act several days ahead.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, it probably helps for the mom to explain the practicalities to the father. Or even for him to try herding his child(ren) for an afternoon or a full day, to feel on his own skin what it takes to avoid major blunders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-17T08:34:32.263" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T08:34:32.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4083" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4087" CreationDate="2012-01-16T20:25:43.197" Score="5" ViewCount="1069" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are on different schedules which during the week leaves one parent alone with the twins. Feeding the twins bottles at the same time has proven to be relatively easy. We are now in the process of introducing solid foods. This has proven &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/4081/1483&quot;&gt;challenging for one of the twins&lt;/a&gt; and is proving challenging for us. Spoon feeding is obviously not as simple as holding onto two bottles, but requires interaction for each bite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We see our options as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;alternating between each bite&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;feeding one and then the other&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;spoon feeding at totally different times&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there an option we are missing? Is there a better way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1483" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-02-06T16:32:03.230" Title="How to simultaneously spoon feed twins?" Tags="|feeding|solids|twins|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4079" CreationDate="2012-01-16T21:03:19.867" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmmm, tough one. It is difficult to arrive to any well founded conclusions without a lot more research and evidence. And I must note for start, that it is possible to keep control of 20 or even more children without any bad methods. It takes a lot of energy, a lot of experience, and time, however. And it is not always strict. A good teacher knows when to temporarily leave the children more freedom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would do include the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Although what you depict sounds a bit worrying indeed, one case does not prove anything. There are days when the children just happen to be more calm, regardless of what the teacher or parent is doing (just as there are days when they are like a pack of wild cats, regardless of what the teacher or parent is doing). Observe life within the kindergarten group as often as possible, over an extended period of time, to get more balanced knowledge. Specifically, observe how the children behave with the teacher. Do they approach him/her freely and happily, do they express genuine love towards him/her? Or do they rather fear / avoid him/her?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to other parents (also to parents of older kids who have already left to school) about their experiences and feelings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the teacher him/herself openly about how (s)he handles conflicts, or keeps the children at bay, or solves little daily problems. Don't express opinions, just listen. If she is open about her views and methods (of treating kids harshly or the like), you will soon hear enough. If she is hiding something, you will most likely sense it after a while. If she is genuine, you will also feel it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children at this age are typically not able to openly express theiir feelings verbally. However, their drawings and the games they play may reveal a lot. Especially if you notice a definite change in the mood and/or subject, compared to some months earlier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-16T21:15:28.153" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T21:15:28.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4079" CreationDate="2012-01-16T21:56:52.647" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I definitely agree that research is needed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, speak to the teacher.  Talk to her about her teaching style, but at this point in the year it is a bit late, so maybe speak to her about why SHE thinks your child does not like school. The answer should be very telling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, speak  to other parents.  Don't accuse the teacher, just talk about whether or not their child is happy in school and what stories they hear about school from their kids.  Some kids are better reporters, so you may actually get reports from other students in the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, speak to your child.  It doesn't sound like your son can tell you much in words, but try playing school, making him the teacher.  Pretend to be a student along with a bunch of dolls. See what he does.  A few times at this game may tell you something and will give him a feeling of empowerment when it comes to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then pool the info and you and your wife should be able to have an informed discussion about what to do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="984" LastEditDate="2012-01-18T16:16:12.970" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T16:16:12.970" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4081" CreationDate="2012-01-16T22:02:30.967" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most doctors do recommend rice cereal as the first food, as there is almost no worry of allergic reaction.  As well, most common thought says don't put it in the bottle as there is no benefit to this as it is so thin that it doesn't teach swallowing of solid food. (obviously the twin with major acid doesn't fall into general instruction, as it was given to her for a different reason.)&#xA;I would let the one who is having trouble simply play with the spoon while you feed her sister.  Let her associate the spoon, the food, the highchair, etc. with positive thoughts.  Try again next week.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You may also try oatmeal, as that is also used for the same reason as rice cereal (have you tried rice cereal, it is truly gross!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just some added advice, do veggies before fruits, I have done it both ways,and the ones that I stayed away from fruits have much less issues with a sweet tooth (not a scientific study:))&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T22:02:30.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4083" CreationDate="2012-01-16T22:19:04.317" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;With twins, it's going to be chaotic sometimes. Don't worry too much and go with the flow. Try and see what works (the next day it may be all different :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It really depends on their personalities - one may be fast eater while the other is slow. One may be eager to try out new tastes, while the other reluctant (as you note in your other post). One may like veggies more, the other fruits or grains. One may be determined to grab the spoon and start performing her own show with it (not necessarily related to eating :-), while the other more passive. No need to force things according to some preset plan. You and them together will work out a more or less consistent daily routine after a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One general note: it is useful to serve them from different plates / bottles, to be able to follow how much each is eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-16T22:33:17.423" LastActivityDate="2012-01-16T22:33:17.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4088" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-17T01:55:33.063" Score="1" ViewCount="88" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1823/are-there-things-to-watch-out-for-after-a-tongue-tie-operation&quot;&gt;Are there things to watch out for after a tongue-tie operation?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2 week old daughter got the clipping procedure to fix her tongue-tie.&#xA;What exercises need to be done by me on her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to add that the paediatrician recommended me to find the exercises on the internet! I see a link to &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1823/are-there-things-to-watch-out-for-after-a-tongue-tie-operation&quot;&gt;Are there things to watch out for after a tongue-tie operation?&lt;/a&gt;&quot; but the exercises there are for 6 year olds who can do the exercises themselves. I'm looking for ones for a 2 week old where I'd have to do them manually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2131" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T16:04:31.357" Title="What exercises should be done post-op for a tongue tied 2 week old?" Tags="|newborn|health|ankyloglossia|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2012-02-03T21:18:49.790" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4079" CreationDate="2012-01-17T02:15:41.223" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you truly want to know what is going on in the classroom for any grade, you have to be there, and not just once or twice. Volunteer to help with something like preparing materials or even reading to the children. Be sure not to interfere and don't go just to spy. It is very eye-opening to see the children as the teacher sees them and sometimes as the teacher doesn't see, when his/her back is turned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is important to talk to the teacher about your concerns. I would do this after volunteering, once you are assured that the concerns your child has are founded. Be careful how you brooch the subject. Most teachers are very well intended and know they could do a better job under different circumstances (i.e. few students, an assistant, more resources, etc.). If you truly have concerns, the principal will need to be involved. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful how you talk with other parents. While you might want to confirm your suspicions, it's important not to plant something that isn't there. Being a teacher is difficult because there are two (or more) audiences to appease: the students and the parents. Education is a team effort. Your job as a parent is to look out for your child and raise concerns if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, be assured this needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later. Children will spend a long time in school. It's important that their early experiences are positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2012-01-17T20:56:44.303" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T20:56:44.303" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4078" CreationDate="2012-01-17T03:17:58.657" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;How to disagree and still come to an amicable resolution (aka Negotiating for Parents 101)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Péter Török makes good points about each parent explaining the impact of certain decisions on the family. I am going to elaborate on Swati's note to pick your battles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house, when things become contentious, there are usually &lt;strong&gt;three types of dispositions&lt;/strong&gt; on an issue:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the issue is very important (meaning pro) to someone,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the issue is neutral (not important) to someone, or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they are opposed to issue.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the mix is &lt;strong&gt;neutral/neutral, then it's not an issue&lt;/strong&gt;. Our kids don't take music lessons because neither one of us cares enough about it. No problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the mix is &lt;strong&gt;important/important or opposed/opposed&lt;/strong&gt;, we both care and are in complete agreement so there is more consistent follow-up. For example, we both think it's important that our kids can swim. So, the kids are always at their lessons and it doesn't get forgotten. Another example, the rule in our house is that &amp;quot;you hit; you sit&amp;quot;. Crime and punishment are both clear by both parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the mix is &lt;strong&gt;important/neutral, generally the person with interest takes the lead&lt;/strong&gt;. For example, it's important to me that clothing be put away. So I take charge of that. Sometimes I enlist the help of my spouse, but generally he is not leading that task.  This is when explaining how doing this task impacts me and the family has the best results. One of us gets talked into caring. Re-motivation is required because there are more slip-ups. The parent who cares generally needs to ask for help when they want it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Arguments happen when the mix starts involving opposition&lt;/strong&gt;. The violent TV/movie issue is a good example. This is where we start &lt;strong&gt;invoking veto power&lt;/strong&gt;. Either parent has the right to forbid something that they think is wrong. This is a firm &amp;quot;drawing line in the sand&amp;quot; kind of approach and is used rarely. &lt;em&gt;Restricting is easier to enforce than banning because as your children mature you can loosen the restrictions&lt;/em&gt;. The things that are banned in our house are &lt;em&gt;banned for everyone&lt;/em&gt; (i.e. smoking). Another example is helmets: &amp;quot;thou shalt not ride a bike without a helmet&amp;quot;...until you are legally responsible for yourself; same rule applies for parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that these examples don't involve life-saving decisions, like blood transfusions or transplants or surgeries. This is where you and your spouse have hopefully discussed your values and come to terms with your differences before deciding to (marry and) have children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For contentious issues, trying to go about the decision logically rather than emotionally helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;List the pros and cons.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make everyone's reasons known.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Exhaust alternatives first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then when you still have a problem, the person opposed can feel better about agreeing to what previously unthinkable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good book on negotiating that fits most situations that don't involve money is &amp;quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://6thfloor.pp.fi/fgv/gettingtoyes.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Getting to Yes&lt;/a&gt;&amp;quot;. Law schools use it. The premise is that there are 4 elements to negotiation and how you should deal with them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;People:&lt;/strong&gt;      Separate the people from the problem.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Interests:&lt;/strong&gt;   Focus on interests, not positions.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Options:&lt;/strong&gt;   Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Criteria:&lt;/strong&gt;    Insist that the result be based on some objective standard&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of all, regardless of the situation, be sure to &lt;strong&gt;address the idea and not the person&lt;/strong&gt;. If you can &lt;strong&gt;avoid personal attacks&lt;/strong&gt;, finding a mutually agreeable solution is more likely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T03:17:58.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4081" CreationDate="2012-01-17T08:28:20.150" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We aren't sure if this is because she does not like the taste or if she isn't ready for spoon feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try different foods (other grains, veggies, fruits) to find out. Even though they are twins, they may have different taste. Don't try to introduce new foods too much too fast, though - children need time to adapt. So approximately one new food per week. Let them taste each a few times, even if they don't like it at first. You may also try tasting it yourself, in front of the babies - this confirms for them that it is indeed safe to eat it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T08:28:20.150" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4078" CreationDate="2012-01-17T10:55:50.583" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is absolutely key that parents stand firm together. If mummy says it then daddy says it too, and vice versa. Mummy and daddy think the same thing. Kids are clever. If there's a crack, they'll exploit it to their advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting this right involves a lot of communication and listening, with each side putting their own ideas and listening quietly and respectfully to the other's point of view. Listening is key here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can keep it calm I think it's fine to do this with the kids around, it's a good lesson in conflict resolution, and it gives them an insight into the workings of the family. If it's stressful, crying kids, etc, then it's best to take it offline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case of a real conflict though, I think it's the primary caregiver who gets the final say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T10:55:50.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4059" CreationDate="2012-01-17T17:47:59.483" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is he having other sensory issues that have changed? IE- need to always have blankets or never wanting blankets&#xA;This is the only thing I would be worried about, if it is the case call the doctor.  If not then...&#xA;Try taking a bath with him, that will certainly change things up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T17:47:59.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3961" CreationDate="2012-01-17T18:03:22.077" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It all depends on your definition of discipline.  When my now 4 year old daughter was about 17mo old we would tell her &quot;no,no, you can't climb up the stairs right now&quot; (for example) and she would look at us, smile this devious smile and do it anyway.  The doctor said it is clear she understands what she is doing so it is time to start time out.  Conventional wisdom says time out starts being effective around 2ish but in her case she responded and began listening when we said no no.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Moving a younger child from a dangerous situation and redirecting his/her behavior can be viewed, for a child of that age range, to be discipline.  You are removing something fun. As you discovered the child will learn.  I am not sure that is responding to discipline as much as just internalizing a lesson.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Before this question can be answered discipline, as you see it, needs to be defined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T18:03:22.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3229" CreationDate="2012-01-17T18:05:38.017" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't understand this question, as you never 'negotiate' with a child.  You can explain your reasoning if you must but basically you are in charge.  You can reward/you can punish.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Often times I find myself in the situation where I am not sure why I said no to a particular thing.  If my child asks me in a polite way why I said no I can answer, I'm not sure I am going to change my mind.  However, in the same situation, if it becomes a negotiation or a tantrum the answer sticks even when I am unsure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-17T18:05:38.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4098" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-18T01:01:33.910" Score="5" ViewCount="121121" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter just turned 4. She has been wetting the bed several nights a week for the last month. She's been potty trained for almost a year and previously hadn't had a night accident in at least 6 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know she understands that peeing in the bed is not good, and I don't think she's willfully ignoring us - I think she just doesn't realize she's peeing in the middle of the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are good techniques to  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;communicate to her our expectations without being over-disciplinary and&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;get her to stop wetting the bed?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="415" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-23T12:23:01.540" LastActivityDate="2018-10-23T12:23:01.540" Title="My 4-year-old is wetting the bed a year after finishing potty training" Tags="|pre-schooler|communication|bed-wetting|enuresis|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4099" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4100" CreationDate="2012-01-18T02:41:11.493" Score="3" ViewCount="1346" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my understanding, BPA-Free plastic water bottle is safe for my little ones. However, some manufacturer does not provide any information on their water bottles but I would like to buy one because they have very cute cartoon design which my little ones love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, are there any other methods that I can test the water bottle so that I know that they are safe for my little ones? (I heard that as long as you put hot water to the water bottle and the water bottle does not change shape or dis-colored, it is deem safe but would like to hear suggestions from experts out there. Thanks.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T20:18:49.600" Title="How do I identify if the water bottle is of a safe material for my children?" Tags="|drinking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4099" CreationDate="2012-01-18T06:37:28.210" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;US Department of Health and Safety has some information:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hhs.gov/safety/bpa/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.hhs.gov/safety/bpa/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To reduce the potential transfer of BPA to the foodstuffs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;avoid containers not labeled 'bpa-free' (ideal)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of if you don't know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;avoid hot foods/liquids in containers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;avoid scratched containers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, if safety is a concern, I'd let federal agency/mandatory safety labeling trump printed cartoon graphics. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T06:37:28.210" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4098" CreationDate="2012-01-18T07:52:08.623" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is certainly not a willful behaviour at this age, especially in the middle of the night. So it won't help to explain your expectations, it will just frustrate her more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Was there any substantial change lately in the child's life? E.g. birth of younger sibling, starting kindergarten / preschool, problems in kindergarten / preschool, mom / dad starting / changing job, moving to a new apartment, illness or death in the family...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wetting the bed after having been stably dry for months can be the symptom of some sort of regression due to an internal crisis / trauma, caused by some event like the above. Or it can be the result of a plain physical condition, like a urinary infection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To prove or close out the latter, you need to take her pee to a lab for a urine test. If it is positive, you will get antibiotics to cure the infection. The cure may take a couple of weeks, but after that hopefully the problem gets solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is some internal crisis in the background, you need to be patient, discuss the issue with the child and spend extra personal time with her if she requires it. If she feels safe and loved, she will usually process things in a couple of weeks and then keep her bed dry again. However, if the condition prevails longer, you may want to seek help from a child psychologist or doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="57" LastEditDate="2012-01-18T15:29:18.330" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T15:29:18.330" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4099" CreationDate="2012-01-18T09:49:14.943" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing you could do is contact the Food &amp;amp; Drug Administration for your country and ask them about this product.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's unsafe for children, that could be a major issue, which they'd need to investigate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's safe, they'll let you know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T09:49:14.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4098" CreationDate="2012-01-18T14:25:54.500" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Aside from some physiological or psychological factor another thing to consider is that during potty training you probably (if you were like us) followed a very specific bedtime routine. No water after x:00pm, pee before bedtime etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After our now 5 year old was all trained, we started to get a little lax on the routine. Sure you can have a drink, I will just assume you went to the bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We he had a run of accidents we had to go back and make sure we got back into our routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That helped alot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, from our experience, he was very upset about wetting the bed. He would wake up and cry because he felt bad about having done it. Make sure to push that un-conditional love up to 11 so that they know this is ok and that you're not upset or mad about what happened or at them for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get angry about it happening. In fact I would hazard a guess that the more laid back you are, &quot;Hey, this happens, it's cool, let try to not let it happen tomorrow night&quot; and to reassure them that they can do it will go a long way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T14:25:54.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4083" CreationDate="2012-01-18T16:40:46.827" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a twin, I've just asked my parents what they did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use one spoon and feed both twins alternatingly, when only one parent is available. When both parets are there, feed the twins simultaneously. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worked for my parents; my sibling and I survived :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="2141" LastEditDate="2012-01-18T17:55:07.080" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T17:55:07.080" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4099" CreationDate="2012-01-18T20:18:49.600" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is important to remember that BPA has been used in everyday plastics, including baby bottles, for decades and absolutely no ill effects in humans have been linked to everyday BPA exposure. The concern with BPA is purely hypothetical, so BPA is avoided in food packaging today out of an overabundance of caution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are more important things to worry about: Are your kids getting their immunizations? Has the child safety seat you are using (if you use one) had any recalls? Are your kids brushing their teeth often enough? These are all things that pose a far greater danger to your children's wellbeing than BPA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1352" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T20:18:49.600" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4107" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4112" CreationDate="2012-01-18T20:37:51.497" Score="27" ViewCount="4211" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son loves our 9 year old cat very much.  The cat was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer a couple of months ago, and has reached the point where we will soon need to make arrangements to put the cat down and end its suffering.  My son doesn't know that the cat is terminally ill, he just knows that the cat isn't feeling well.  How do I talk to him out what is going to happen?  Do I tell him before so he can say goodbye, or do I tell him after so he won't worry?  How do I do this without him worrying that anytime he (or anyone else) gets sick, he might die?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;UPDATE:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The day came when we finally had to put our family pet down. My wife and I prepared our son by telling him about two days in advance that our cat was very sick (which he already knew), and that he could pass away very soon (which he didn't know).  I emphasized that he should spend some time saying goodbye to our cat and bringing him any comfort he can. My wife and I did &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; tell him that we were going to euthanize the cat.  We sent him to play at his grandparents house (who he frequently sees and spends time with anyway, so nothing would strike him as unusual about this) the day we euthanized our pet. When it was over, we called him and told him that he had to come home because our cat had died. We let him see and pet the body. We also let him see me bury the body in the backyard, where we all said a few nice words and shed some tears.  My son asked a few questions (will our cat be in heaven, etc.), but didn't seem to take the situation too hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All things considered, I think the way my wife and I handled the situation worked out fine. Thanks for all your help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2085" LastEditorUserId="2085" LastEditDate="2012-01-23T20:22:18.190" LastActivityDate="2020-04-08T16:26:01.560" Title="How do I explain to a 4 year old that our family pet is sick and needs to be put down?" Tags="|pets|death|coping|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4108" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4109" CreationDate="2012-01-18T20:46:25.523" Score="11" ViewCount="1140" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old son and I enjoy playing games.  However, whenever I win and he loses, he gets very upset and doesn't want to play anymore.  I have tried explaining that he won't always win at everything, practice makes perfect, try your best, etc., but it is clear that I'm not getting the message through to him effectively.  What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2085" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T16:30:27.350" Title="How do I explain good sportsmanship to a 4 year old?" Tags="|play-time|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4108" CreationDate="2012-01-18T20:58:34.550" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you already do this, but don't 'let' him win just to avoid the scene, this will create bigger problems later.&#xA;As you are playing the game (I assume most of the games, if not all, are simple chance) ask him, who do you think will win now.  He will then see that the 'winner' goes back and forth through out the game.&#xA;When he wins narrate your feelings about loosing. (Oh, I wish I won.  Oh well, I guess I might win next time.  It was a fun game and I am glad I got to have a good time with my son)&#xA;When he does lose and cries verbalize for him what he is feeling.  (I know you are sad because you lost, but at least you got to have a good time.  I really enjoyed spending time with you and I can't wait to play again!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OR&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him that you can't play games with people that don't know how to lose, and then if he wants to play a game again that day don't play with him.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The next time he wants to play remind him that he might lose and it isn't fun to play with someone that doesn't know how to lose and win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like the first option better but sometimes you have to resort to the second.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T20:58:34.550" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4107" CreationDate="2012-01-18T21:00:32.723" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have yet to be in this situation but my instinct would say keep the word sick out of it, for the reason you listed. As well, don't tell him you chose to have the cat put down, that is simply too scary for him.&#xA;Instead simply say that sometimes living things, like animals and plants and people die. This means that we can't play with them anymore.&#xA;Then let him lead. Over the next few weeks questions will come up and answer them, but do not elaborate, answer the question and then move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T21:00:32.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4111" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-18T21:14:38.643" Score="7" ViewCount="668" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a teacher, I have always been under the impression or had the idea that ADD couldn't really be diagnosed until grade 2.  (I am not dealing with ADHD in this question).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was wondering if it can actually be diagnosed younger to the benefit of the child.  As well, if it can be, how do you find the appropriate doctor to do the test?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-26T13:19:32.227" LastActivityDate="2019-03-26T13:19:32.227" Title="How young is too young to diagnose ADD?" Tags="|adhd|doctor|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4107" CreationDate="2012-01-18T21:21:40.670" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would definitely tell him in advance, to give him a chance to process the fact in time, and to say goodbye to the cat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Morah made a good point about leaving the sickness out of the explanation, that may be one strategy. However, my feeling is that telling that the cat just died, without any clear reason, may be equally frightening for the kid if he has a tendency to get frightened by such things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would rather explain that the cat died because it was very severely ill, and the doctors couldn't save its life; that there are different kinds of sicknesses, some just make your nose run for a few days, others may make you sick for longer times, and need doctors' assistance and medicines to recover. And sometimes even doctors can't help, and one dies, which means that it goes away, and we won't ever meet again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think a lot more depends on your mood and internal feelings than the exact words you use. If you feel uncomfortable talking about death, your son will sense it and it will make him agitated or fearful too. In Western culture, there is a lot of fear about death, and this is the way we pass it on to our children. We don't talk about it, and we hide our own dying relatives and pets out of sight, into darkened hospital rooms or the vet's lab. But our feelings we can't eliminate, only repress. And the children sense them anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if he asks, I would not hide the fact that all of us, people, animals, plants, will die one day. But for him (and us), it's going to happen many, many years after yet. However, I agree with Morah that there is no need to try to explain him too much. Give him the basic facts and then let him ask questions. If he asks a tricky one, like &quot;where does the cat go when it dies?&quot;, you may ask back &quot;what do you think?&quot;. Then continue the answer depending on the level and direction of his ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-18T21:49:42.787" LastActivityDate="2012-01-18T21:49:42.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3401" CreationDate="2012-01-19T09:21:49.187" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Erin's answer mentioned, there are different types of learners, with different strengths. It was focused on the book-based learning - I will try to give a broader perspective. Hope you will find some useful bits in it :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_multiple_intelligences&quot;&gt;different types of intelligence, according to Howard Gardner&lt;/a&gt;. And traditional schools only focus on visual and verbal intelligence: a kid needs to be good at reading/writing, and verbally presenting knowledge, in order to perform well in such a school. Kids who are behind on these areas can get a lot of negative experiences in school, which - even if they have special abilities in other areas, or huge potential which develops slowly - may make them disillusioned and disinterested in learning in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think the most important things are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;be a good role model&lt;/strong&gt; - if you are an avid reader, learner and questioner, your child most likely will become one as well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;observe, recognize and appreciate your child's talent&lt;/strong&gt; - every child has talent in some area(s), it is up to us to acknowledge and encourage it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;help to develop a balanced skill set&lt;/strong&gt; - it is also important to develop the weak areas, to avoid one-sidedness. Most likely your child has one or more favourite subjects / skills / approaches to learning, but you should also ensure that (s)he isn't totally lost in some other area&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;provide ample resources&lt;/strong&gt; - given the previous points, if you surround the child with good books, games, toys and any other means to explore, learn and experiment, (s)he will naturally use them (although not necessarily the way they were intended to use - so relax your expectations and look for toys which are meant to be used creatively, not only by some fixed predefined rules)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;make sure (s)he is in an environment where her natural curiosity and enthusiasm to learn and understand the world is not stifled&lt;/strong&gt; - children are natural learners and researchers, constantly formulating and then validating their own views and theories about how the world is working (on the level appropriate to their age, of course). &lt;em&gt;Unless&lt;/em&gt; you start shoving unsolicited answers on them and requiring them to learn and regurgitate these ready-made answers. Which is exactly what many schools do, effectively making most of the pupils hate maths / physics / ..., and feeling themselves more or less incompetent in these areas, by the time they graduate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;emphasize the fun, not the learning&lt;/strong&gt; - children naturally learn incredible amounts of stuff without ever noticing that they are actually learning: they are (at least for a narrow-minded adult) &quot;just playing&quot;. In fact that's the best and most effective way of learning. So make it fun and keep it fun, as much as you can, as long as you can.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One caveat: these steps (and the view behind them) may lead to a direction other than what we originally envisioned for our child. It may turn out that (s)he is not so much interested in books, but e.g. music, painting or sports. As per the 3rd point above, it is fine to prod him/her to develop a balanced skill set, but IMHO we should not force our own view about &quot;desirable&quot; skills to our child. Note also that even if (s)he may hate reading at a certain age and spend all the day playing the guitar, at a later stage (s)he will probably realise the importance of the theory, history etc. behind the sound, at which point she most likely will pick up related books out of her own free will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to note that &lt;strong&gt;being a lifelong learner should be the means, not the end in itself.&lt;/strong&gt; I think that &lt;strong&gt;keeping up the child's internal enthusiasm and joy in learning is the most important thing, because that - and only that - allows him/her to perform miracles&lt;/strong&gt;. As opposed to drilling the child to become a diligent book reader and good school performer, at the price of killing his/her internal motivation and making her always conform to external opinions - in short, an unhappy person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-19T14:04:57.503" LastActivityDate="2012-01-19T14:04:57.503" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3401" CreationDate="2012-01-19T09:48:57.670" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice is: do whatever you cat to get your child read. Take him/her to museums, science fairs etc. Show that learning new things is fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And last: every time (s)he asks you something, give him/her an answer. For example, when your child asks why the sky is blue, do not tell that &quot;it just is blue&quot; but google for the answer. It answer can be short and simplified, as long as it is true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more your child learns, the more (s)he can learn more. That's how brain works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2025" LastActivityDate="2012-01-19T09:48:57.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3401" CreationDate="2012-01-19T11:28:48.827" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some thoughts based on my own childhood and experience with my 3 kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Build Associations&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make the process of learning fun, that means special time spent teaching one on one during the day when kids are awake. I believe associating learning with one on one time like this builds positive associations with learning. Tell them about subjects that interest you. If they can see your enthusiasm that will help them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Answer questions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids use questions as a means of getting your attention. This is good, use it, encourage it, and try to encourage them to think about the answers for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Encourage them to think of themselves as bright&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can make learning really special and fun, they'll have a good base to carry on from. If they're ahead of the game, school will be easy and they'll learn to think of themselves as bright. This will naturally affect the way they talk and act. People enjoy doing things that they think they're good at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Look for talents&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not everyone is a future university professor, and there are plenty more ways to be intelligent. Read Ken Robinson for more on this. Look for what your child enjoys, painting, dancing, looking at flowers, and encourage that. Talk about it and see what they think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tiredness&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't try to push through tiredness. If your child is not learning or can't concentrate, leave off for the day and do something else instead. Don't show them that learning is frustrating and difficult. Build happy associations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Remove roadblocks&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was often resistant to going to school. I had a long quiet talk with him and it turned out he was having trouble socialising, so wasn't enjoying it. I gave him some pointers and we talked with his teacher, and now he's fine and happy. If there's something in their way, be it socialising or shortsightedness, be alert for it and lift it out of their way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Encourage Reading&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Little by little, day by day. Get them a nightlight or a torch so they can read sneakily under the covers, even if they're just looking for Wally (Waldo). Leave good books around the place. Read to them to show how fun it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fit in with school&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is covering a topic at school, talk about it, ask about it, and even do some fun experiments. Diet Coke and Mentos teach the properties of matter. Shadows on the wall from a big torch teach about light and shadow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make exercise sheets, and reward with attention&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sheets where the child has to fill in the answers, or find the missing number. Make it special, give them lots of praise when they get it right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask questions and reward answers with praise&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;What's that cup made out of?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Which is biggest, the sun or the moon?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;What is wind?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;What is a shadow?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reward with lots of praise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use YouTube, Google earth, etc&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show them videos of the sizes of planets and stars, the way cells work, anything sparky and fun. Show them where Australia is. Let them ask questions. Download educational iPhone apps. There are plenty of good ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dream up special rewards&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently my son gets pegs on his washing line when he does good reading. Each peg has a word attached and he gets to choose and write the word. Be creative. rewards lose their power over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pay attention to what works, and do that&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not every child is the same, and children change all the time, so pay attention to what works and do that. Follow their interests, give them a good base, and share your enthusiasm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2012-01-19T11:28:48.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4098" CreationDate="2012-01-19T11:55:39.760" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's totally normal&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry. Many children do experience setbacks like this. It's totally normal, only to be expected, and almost certainly temporary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Keep calm, don't give a payoff&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest had this problem when he was 4. Here's what we did. If he wee'd in the night, we just kept everything super calm and changed everything, all the sheets and pyjamas. &quot;It's OK, never mind, it happens, lets just sort it out&quot;. Just a boring nightime chore. After a couple of weeks he got the idea and it stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Treat it as a rather boring inconvenience&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's just a dull nightime chore for both of you. If you just treat it as an rather boring inconvenience, rather than something worrying with a bit of emotional spice, your daughter will probably learn to avoid it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is almost certainly not doing it on purpose. If you attach emotion to it then it'll become an issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-01-09T13:46:42.917" LastActivityDate="2015-01-09T13:46:42.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3401" CreationDate="2012-01-19T18:10:27.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;All the answers have some good elements but I would like to add some thoughts as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, don't stress it; your child will learn (at his/her own pace, not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of teaching how to learn the best way is through modeling. Model both the way you learn best and other modes of learning.  When you are using other modes of learning demonstrate when it gets frustrating and what you do about it (persevere and keep trying to learn)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't recommend making home like school (giving worksheets, etc.). That is the way they learn in school, they can learn different things at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practice things like reading with you child but DON'T teach them how; that is not your job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk with the teacher about what you can do to encourage your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage brain development instead of academics at home (games, crafts, exploring).&#xA;Answer questions and ask questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, have fun with your child...you would be surprised how much you are naturally allowing him/her to learn from you when you spend quality, non stress time with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a teacher I can also say that kids do know how to learn and love learning naturally, it is when they are pushed beyond their abilities or are having other issues that this goes away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-19T18:10:27.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4044" CreationDate="2012-01-19T18:41:28.883" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adding to the answers already here, it is true that the incidence of SIDS fell at around the same time that health care professionals started telling parents to not let babies sleep on their front.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, around that time parents were also told not to smoke around their babies, and a number of other sensible things like having proper air circulation, proper bedding that won't smother the baby, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it is not clear that the sleeping position is a causation, though it is an association.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies do seem to sleep better on their fronts. They also tend to be better crawlers, with better upper body strength - babies who sleep exclusively on their back often skip crawling and go straight to walking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of this, I let my babies sleep on their front, tried to monitor it when I could, and hoped for the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1906" LastActivityDate="2012-01-19T18:41:28.883" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3507" CreationDate="2012-01-19T19:59:51.420" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used to blow on my eldest's feet. This seemed to do the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2012-01-19T19:59:51.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3401" CreationDate="2012-01-19T20:38:39.727" Score="0" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Learning to Learn&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On one hand I am thinking that in order to learn to learn you must also learn to make good decisions, learn to defer short term rewards for long term ones, and so many other things. On the other hand I am thinking that children are built to learn. They soak in everything in their environment and incorporate it into their ever evolving theory of the world. I am bit dubious about teaching someone how to pick up things easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Making Good Decisions&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making good decisions will help a child prioritize learning and requires the following skills. Teach them by example, by simulation, and by identifying and encouraging the steps while your child makes them naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Being able to identify the range of choices. Expert level; being able to see past the options provided.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Predicting the likely outcomes for each of the choices considered. Expert level; remember making no choice has an outcome as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Understand your values as explicitly as possible. Expert level; know immediately what you would do in a variety of situations where your values are in conflict.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Apply your values to the outcomes you've identified. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make you choice based on the outcome most in line with your values.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Defer Short Term Rewards&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping children to be future oriented and defer immediate pleasure is important to learning. Often in learning no tangible benefit presents itself in the present. We have to believe that there is a payoff in the future worth the effort. Some ideas on future orientation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about the future, make long term plans with your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set short, medium, and long term goals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Invent games that require patience to win.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be optimistic about the future.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Children: Built to Learn&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Engage children in imaginative free play around subjects they are interested in. Give them as many opportunities for diverse experiences in complex environments. Trust them. Challenge them. Play with them but let them lead. Respond to their interests. Don't worry too much about the subject that interests your children; focus on the learning that will occur around pursuing the interest. Some initial ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the library and learn how to find and borrow books on the subject&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make drawings or get coloring books on the subject.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Build/make things related; costumes, forts, diorama&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put on a drama, play, puppet show, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Picking Things Up&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Picking things up without putting in the work is uncommon. We are more likely to pick things up easily in our areas of interest precisely because we have amassed a foundation of knowledge around the subject and the new things have a place to fit into our ideas. We have already put in the work (it just didn't feel like work). Don't put too much emphasis on picking things up easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some critical learning skills:&#xA;Learning to read makes learning everything else easier. Learning to write well helps us organize our ideas and communicate them to others. Writing is learning. Learning to speak and perform in front of others give us access to learn in a new environment. Learning to play music can teach us discipline and that rewards come from practice. Learning numbers and math allow us to analyze the world and solve problems. Learning to draw and photograph teaches us to see and look for meaning in the mundane things around us. Learning to scramble on rocks and hills teaches us to take risks that are worth it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are simply a few examples from my priorities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some references that may be valuable:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Malcolm Gladwell's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gladwell.com/outliers/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Outliers&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Stanford marshmallow experiment&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gopnik's &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0688177883&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Scientist in the Crib&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-01-19T20:38:39.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4108" CreationDate="2012-01-20T11:22:31.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Showing an example by losing gracefully yourself can also really help - and remember to also have the conversation on how to be a magnanimous victor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both are key learning experiences that seem to work well by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T11:22:31.230" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4108" CreationDate="2012-01-20T12:07:19.743" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A key question is &quot;How often do you play a game that he &lt;em&gt;CAN'T&lt;/em&gt; win&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of dads get competitive, and believe that they're teaching their children &quot;the value of losing gracefully&quot;, when they're actually teaching them &quot;Can't beat Dad, because I'm better&quot;, which is very frustrating for a child, as there's NOTHING THEY CAN DO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're playing a game where you win more than 50% of the time, it's not actually a fair game. You have &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; advantage, because he's &lt;em&gt;FOUR&lt;/em&gt;. Effectively, you should be handicapping yourself down to the level where you're struggling to win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you find he's improving and you're winning less often, you can begin removing the handicaps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T12:07:19.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4108" CreationDate="2012-01-20T15:37:36.040" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the game involved a significant component of strategy or skill, as opposed to luck, point out whatever positives you can about his play, both during the game, and once the winner is determined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if the game is purely random, you can still praise him when he loses (&quot;Good game!  That was very close... I got lucky at the end!&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, don't be critical of his playing.  Gloating over a win, even in jest, can set a really bad precedent for competition.  Suggesting ways he could improve his play should be done as diplomatically as possible.  Emphasize the positives, and avoid mention of negatives (&quot;don't forget that you can always do &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt;&quot; rather than &quot;doing &lt;em&gt;y&lt;/em&gt; was a mistake&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T15:37:36.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4124" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4126" CreationDate="2012-01-20T17:56:42.127" Score="5" ViewCount="681" Body="&lt;p&gt;How should one respond to a younger sibling asking for your help to cheat? &#xA;Lets say a high school exam.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How responsible is an older sibling for the younger sibling's decision to cheat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where would an older sibling's role end?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1973" LastEditorUserId="1973" LastEditDate="2012-01-20T18:33:05.683" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T20:12:10.057" Title="Ways to respond to younger sibling asking for help to cheat" Tags="|siblings|morals|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1761" CreationDate="2012-01-20T18:07:02.510" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your child is firmly within the normal range of deviation. And don't forget that all these claims stating that &quot;children start to do &lt;em&gt;X&lt;/em&gt; at the age of &lt;em&gt;N&lt;/em&gt;&quot; are only about the &lt;em&gt;average&lt;/em&gt;, with a &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt; deviation. Examples from my own family:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My brother (unilingual) didn't say a single word until over the age of 2 (I will need to double check the precise age with my dad). Then he started saying sentences straight away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Out of our own two (bilingual) daughters, the elder uttered her first short sentences at the age of 1y, while&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the younger started to use words consistently at 1,5y, and sentences closer to 2y.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So take it easy. I don't think you can &quot;improve&quot; her language development, other than giving her ample opportunities to soak in the language(s), taking care of being consistent (i.e. each person using one single language consistently - preferably his/her mother tongue - to communicate with her), which I understand you already know and do anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-20T18:12:32.847" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T18:12:32.847" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4124" CreationDate="2012-01-20T18:24:30.127" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the first step is to find out &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they made the decision to cheat.  This isn't to justify the decision, but rather better understand what drove them to this (e.g. laziness, desperation, peer pressure, etc.) so that you can tailor your response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that an older sibling shares a (small) portion of the parental responsibility: they have the obligation to be a role model, and help with ensuring that the younger sibling(s) is protected from dangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The response should be influenced by the relationship between the siblings, the reasons behind the cheating, and the relationship with the parents.  First and foremost, though, the older sibling needs to respond with the younger siblings &lt;strong&gt;long term interests&lt;/strong&gt; in mind.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have any siblings, so I can't really speak to the obligation of sibling to sibling, but I do believe that it is the right thing to do to bring the situation to the parents, if this is in the long term interests of the sibling.  Sometimes you have to risk hard feelings in order to protect those you love.  Which is worse?  Your younger sibling feeling betrayed by you, or your younger sibling developing a pattern of avoiding responsibility, lying, and cheating to scrape by life's challenges?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T18:24:30.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1513" CreationDate="2012-01-20T19:53:25.697" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;PRO: NO SHINGLES&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/shingles/about/overview.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;According to the CDC&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Almost 1 out of every 3 people in the United States will develop&#xA;  shingles&lt;/strong&gt;, also known as zoster or herpes zoster. There are an&#xA;  estimated 1 million cases each year in this country. Anyone who has&#xA;  recovered from chickenpox may develop shingles; even children can get&#xA;  shingles. However the risk of disease increases as a person gets&#xA;  older. About half of all cases occur among men and women 60 years old&#xA;  or older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've known four adults who have developed shingles, the consequences of which ranged from 2+ weeks lost from work, permanent scarring on the face where the first breakout occurred, complications from secondary bacterial infection, intense pain lasting a month or more, and hospitalization. Whether or not you consider chicken pox to be a mild disease, shingles is nearly always serious. If your child is properly vaccinated, not only do you protect against chicken pox early in life, they will also avoid shingles in adulthood. (Furthermore, the adult shingles vaccine is recommended for adults over 60 and available to those over 50 as well - See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.doh.state.fl.us/disease_ctrl/immune/topics/shingles.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;FL Dept of Health&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I'm flabbergasted that parents would willfully expose their children to chicken pox when a vaccine is available. Driving to the doctor's office is an &quot;inconvenience.&quot; If you asked a child who has been bedridden for a week, would they say their illness is merely &quot;inconvenient&quot;? I had a rather nasty bout of chicken pox in childhood - I had pox on my genitals and in my throat. I remember that pretty well, and inconvenient is not how I'd describe it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2148" LastEditorUserId="2148" LastEditDate="2012-01-20T20:00:16.107" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T20:00:16.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4124" CreationDate="2012-01-20T20:18:01.570" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;An older sibling &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; share the same responsibilities as parents do if the duty is within their realm of expertise such as but not limited to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teaching them how to ride a bike&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;driving them to school, sports practices, dances, mall, movies, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how to break down homework problems (which may be easier for the sibling to remember than parents who may not have used that info for decades)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All one can do is offer guidance and help but ultimately the decision and ramifications are on the individual. In this circumstance, parents/siblings can only offer guidance and hope for the best. It's not like you can babysit the child as they take the test to ensure they don't cheat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older sibling can make the parents aware, not to tattle but so the parents can see if they have noticed patterns of stress or worry and offer their help too. Parents who are engaged in their kids' lives won't seem all of a sudden interested. They already know the exams are coming and can try to figure out the underlying cause of wanting to cheat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the parents are not that interested in the younger child's academics, then the older child &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; assume a higher responsibility if they can afford it with money or their own time (hiring a tutor, tutor their sibling themselves).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually a sibling has a better chance of getting through to the younger person and especially in this case since they have already enlisted their help (even though it was for cheating). What the older sibling says will affect the impression the younger child has of them. The younger sibling may not necessarily follow through even if an older sibling pushes them towards cheating. It may have just been worded like that as an attempt to ask for help, any help or just a form of venting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the older sibling/parents do not want to promote cheating, they should offer tutoring or direction on where to find tips/tricks. There are sometimes little mnemonics or short-cuts depending on the subject. The older sibling should definitely follow up at least after the test to find out how it went to show they care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a toll free number for help with school called Dial-A-Teacher and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wpbstv.org/cms-display/homework_hotline.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Homework Hotline&lt;/a&gt; funded by PBS: 1.888.986.2345&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T20:18:01.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1761" CreationDate="2012-01-20T22:00:16.223" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just got this book &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childsense.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Child Sense&lt;/a&gt; a few weeks ago and it suggests that children learn through a dominant sense. My niece is very visual. She had a very large vocabulary because all her caregivers did flash cards with her (not knowing she was visual but because it was working, they kept at it). Now 25 months old, she speaks in full sentences and loves dresses and looking at herself in the mirror and camera. She'll call little items and babies &quot;cute&quot;. She is definitely visual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter (only 9 months so not at all talking) seems to be more physical/tactile so I go through my day telling her what each thing is and have her touch the items. I don't focus on the flash cards which I bought because of the success with my niece. My daughter just grabs and eats them :)  Of course, I cannot attest to any success yet but I included it just to show what the book says to do for a tactile child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More examples are: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A taste/smell child learns best outdoors. Being outside seems to calm them down because they are the most sensitive of the groups. They like rituals and don't travel well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;An auditory child learns best through song.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You go through a personality Q&amp;amp;A to try to group your child into a dominant sense. Fair warning, as with most if not all parenting books, it worked for some; it failed for some. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HEARING TEST&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And from personal experience, my friend's daughter had a difficult time picking up any language in a multilanguage home as well. The doctors suggested to switch to one language as they thought she was getting &quot;confused&quot;. It turned out her inner ear had not developed properly and it wasn't until the 5th grade that her mom decided to get her hearing checked. She now has a hearing aid but her speech is very poor because she wasn't hearing the diction/enunciation properly so she mumbles a lot and her words sound &quot;fuzzy&quot; if that makes any sense. She had 2 or 3 &lt;a href=&quot;http://drugster.info/img/term/ear-pit-4812_3.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;preauricular skin tags&lt;/a&gt; by her ear - I don't know if they are related to each other but I mentioned it in case your child also has skin tags, maybe it was just a coincidence for my friend. You might want to ask your pediatrician about when/why a hearing test would be called for. You are within the normal parameters as others have said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="68" LastEditDate="2012-01-20T22:06:37.667" LastActivityDate="2012-01-20T22:06:37.667" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4133" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4147" CreationDate="2012-01-21T22:03:45.530" Score="4" ViewCount="538" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 year old gets frustrated very easily. When I ask her if she'd like help or suggestions she says &quot;no!&quot;. She'll often become angry and then give up. I have some of these tendencies (except being so hard on myself). I think it's  combination of :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's actually quite talented at things an thus has not had to learn persistence. (Her twin sister has always had to work just a bit more at learning physical things and is quite tolerant of failure). (I think she gets that from her mom, who, as a child only pursued things she was talented at.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is intolerant of failure, feels that it's an indictment of &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Very focused on the outcome not the process even if it's something she enjoys. (&quot;Am I done yet?&quot;) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I've tried:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asking if she wants hints, suggestions, help, or me to do it for her. I try very hard to take her lead and stand back (even letting her fail) if she so desires. That would be fine except that she gets made (not very adaptive behavior)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Telling her to take a break (starting by asking, but demanding a break if she starts breaking things or gets abusive toward someone helping her) letting her know she deserves a rest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asking her to write down (or video taping) her feelings about the frustration and subsequent solving of the problem so she can develop the confidence that she will be able to accomplish the task. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pointing out the few problems (worth solving) are solved with the first attempt. I've shown her the various editions of the company catalog I create every year or two, showing her the first one (from 1997) and how awful it is but that it got better each year.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Got her the Lego Mindstorms she's wanted for over a year (for xmas) (after letting her test it out @ a friend's house, where she was remarkably patient). She hasn't played with it much. (I'm going to help her (as much as she wants) this weekend again).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm thinking that some fun game to teach her patience would be a good option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1602" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-02T18:29:27.233" LastActivityDate="2019-01-02T18:29:27.233" Title="What are some good games, books (or any suggestions) to teach my 10 year old more patience and persistence?" Tags="|middle-childhood|books|games|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1045" CreationDate="2012-01-21T22:26:15.053" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The recent set of Power Pack minis from Marvel are just wonderful. They've got bright happy pictures, good morals, are aimed smack-bang at the All Ages market, so that you'll enjoy reading them with him, but he'll still understand and enjoy them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as per your specific request: &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0785119558&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;X-Men!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-01-21T22:26:15.053" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4135" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-22T00:32:03.697" Score="14" ViewCount="29127" Body="&lt;p&gt;We took our healthy daughter for her 4-month checkup and half-jokingly asked the doctor whether we should be concerned about the fact her head is a bit misshapen.  It is fairly round in the back left but the back right is noticeably flatter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To our surprise, she referred us to a cranial plastic surgeon for their opinion and so that we can &quot;be presented with our options while its still early enough to do something&quot;... with the most likely option being a special helmet that helps her skull to grow evenly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have the follow-up appointment next week where I'm hoping to get answers to these and other questions, but we'd love to hear answers from anyone else that has heard of this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any risks to be aware of?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How common is this sort of thing?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there any reason to use the helmet other than cosmetic reasons?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will my daughter resent us for not getting the helmet for her if she has a misshapen head later in life?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2147" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-12T15:07:34.650" LastActivityDate="2017-10-12T20:19:45.650" Title="What are risks and benefits of using a helmet to mold our baby's head?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4136" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-22T05:50:06.887" Score="5" ViewCount="1480" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in China and have a 2-week-old baby daughter. Today is Chinese New Year and the noise from the fireworks tonight will be deafening. What is the best way to protect her from the noise?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2151" LastEditorUserId="984" LastEditDate="2012-01-23T20:39:24.113" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T10:16:19.690" Title="Infant and noise from fireworks" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4136" CreationDate="2012-01-22T16:37:57.747" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When (if) she wakes up to the noise, be there, be calm (or joyful if you like), demonstrating her that there is nothing to be afraid of. Take her into your arms if she is frightened. Admire the fireworks together if she is interested (and if it is visible from your window).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here in Hungary we also have fireworks at new year, although it is probably modest compared to the Chinese version. Our daughters so far had no trouble with it - sometimes they didn't even wake up, and when they did, they excitedly enjoyed the sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't know if there are any earplugs for infants, but she might get more irritated by such a thing than the noise itself. If your ears can take it, hers will too. Even if it's very loud, I believe experiencing it once a year won't make any long term damage. If Chinese infants have survived it for centuries, yours will too :-) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-01-22T16:37:57.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1045" CreationDate="2012-01-22T16:42:17.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possibility from the independent side are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.boneville.com/bone/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bone&lt;/a&gt; by Jeff Smith. Originally published in black and white, Scholastic has published a full-color version. It does get darker and grimmer near the end. Another might be &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usagi_Yojimbo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Usagi Yojimbo&lt;/a&gt; from Stan Sakai. Another black-and-white, it has beautifully clear artwork and storytelling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a DC girl myself starting in the early 1970s and didn't start reading Marvel until the early 1980s. Perhaps try some older Shazam! or Batman and Robin collections. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2007" LastActivityDate="2012-01-22T16:42:17.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4135" CreationDate="2012-01-22T18:12:32.623" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had the DOC helmet.  She got it at 10 months old, and the whole reason we went with the DOC helmet and not the Ballert helmet was because the Ballert people basically had this really crummy attitude about older kids getting the helmet, and we'd only been referred to the craniofacial doc when my daughter was 9 months old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No, no risks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More common than you'd think, particularly with infants sleeping on their backs now and the use of baby swings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Well I was a big fan of the fact that I could walk my daughter into a doorjamb, but other than that, not really.  It's kind of nice when they take a leaping dive off the couch, too, but you probably don't have to worry about that at 4 months.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Who knows?  I'm sure she'll add it to the list of resentments she'll constantly be forming.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of other things to be aware of.  Other people are idiots.  If you do opt for the helmet (I highly recommend if insurance covers it that you do), people will approach you and ask you stupid questions like &quot;does she fall down a lot?&quot; or my favorite, the lady who told me &quot;I'll be praying for her&quot; without asking what the helmet was for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1421" LastEditorUserId="198" LastEditDate="2012-01-26T18:17:16.263" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T18:17:16.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1761" CreationDate="2012-01-23T04:55:15.517" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tri-linguistic ability is improved the same way you improve language skills in general. Most important to remember is that language is contextual. My experience is that thinking in a particular language comes naturally if the context is kept consistent, for example: one person speaks one language (caregiver speaks Spanish, Mom speaks English, Dad speaks French), or there is a context for the language (daycare is French, swimming lessons are English).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some benchmarks for &lt;a href=&quot;http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/language_development.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Language Development in children&lt;/a&gt;. The key is that pre-verbal children can understand what you say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have them practice &lt;a href=&quot;https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&amp;amp;q=cache%3aI_ENEBaDxsYJ%3awww.gloucestershire.gov.uk/utilities/action/act_download.cfm?mediaid=16178%20pre-verbal%20skills&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;gl=ca&amp;amp;pid=bl&amp;amp;srcid=ADGEESiMgu3nx97js4zYfeUNgOLMWNZzuXaIBdJ9LFK5J8xNaXC2Bcq7h3pX1HtmDZbEjY7YkTXrQ47k8RVdafaVGswloQsUcy9uuAFPqGrzDYwqLZ_JA2Ci8cxSuCFb6uGRcogdD6-7&amp;amp;sig=AHIEtbQF7Bq3dkOliw-jVOYqdq4qEJlg7Q&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;pre-verbal skills&lt;/a&gt; (see the second page): eye-contact, attention, breath control, turn taking. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have them choose/point to the correct: colour, number, animal,&#xA;person, etc. This will help build and confirm their vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask questions that require them to respond. Simple questions where&#xA;they can indicate understanding by pointing are fine. &quot;Would you like&#xA;to play with the &lt;em&gt;red&lt;/em&gt; ball or the &lt;em&gt;blue&lt;/em&gt; ball?&quot; Be sure to emphasize&#xA;the words you are drawing attention to. Then encourage them to make&#xA;the sound by repeating the word and emphasizing the start of the&#xA;word. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep in mind that different sounds are mastered earlier than&#xA;others. This is why children usually learn to say &quot;dad&quot; before &quot;mom&quot;&#xA;and they say repeating syllables like &quot;da-da&quot; before say &quot;daddy&quot;.&#xA;Wikipedia has some good information on &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phonological_development&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;babbling and speech production&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing the benchmarks might help you focus your activities (teach to the test).&#xA;Here are some warning signs that there may be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_warning-signs-of-a-toddlers-language-delay_12293.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;language delay&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When to get help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Call your child's doctor or a speech pathologist if your child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;12 to 18 months   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;at 12 months, doesn't use gestures such as waving or shaking her head&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;by 12 months, isn't practicing using at least a couple of consonants&#xA;  (p, b, etc.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;by 12 months, isn't somehow communicating to you when&#xA;  she needs help with something &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;at 15 months, doesn't understand and respond to words such as &quot;no&quot; and &quot;bye-bye&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;by 15 months, can't say at least one to three words by 15 months, doesn't say &quot;mama&quot; or&#xA;  &quot;dada&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;at 16 months, doesn't point to body parts when asked &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;at 18 months, isn't saying at least 15 words&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seek help if you need to but don't stress about it. Having a good relationship with your child is the foundation for their progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T04:55:15.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4142" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-23T06:55:29.587" Score="5" ViewCount="10427" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3.5-year-old son. After every two three hours he keeps on crying for changing his clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He only wears the dress clothes which he likes, and doesn't listen if we tell him to wear a different dress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to be harsh with him. What to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2156" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-21T12:32:46.167" LastActivityDate="2019-08-21T12:32:46.167" Title="What to do about my 3.5-year-old son often changing his clothes?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|clothes|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4111" CreationDate="2012-01-23T07:46:21.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a push towards diagnosing children earlier, but medication can be problematic so the recommendation is usually to start with parent training and behavior modification programs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/07-08/adhd.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ADHD among preschoolers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;CHADD is an advocacy group for ADHD and they provide a page with resources for finding a doctor.  (Their website provides a lot of general info as well).  It would not hurt to start with your pediatrician but I think a specialist will be able to provide the best care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.help4adhd.org/faq.cfm?fid=3&amp;amp;tid=91&amp;amp;varLang=en&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Can you help me find a doctor or mental health professional?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1429" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T07:46:21.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4142" CreationDate="2012-01-23T09:07:58.367" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age kids like to wear different clothes - two of my kids did exactly that: they'd vanish to their room and come back in something entirely different. If he is demanding that you change his clothes for him, make it more of a game, but ask which ones he'll want for the morning and which ones for the afternoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Distraction techniques work as well - generally children don't have the longest attention span, so finding something more exciting for them can be a good distraction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, it isn't a problem, and my kids grew out of it after a while. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him play - it's fun now, but will get boring for him eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T09:07:58.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4142" CreationDate="2012-01-23T13:47:57.840" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, age 3 1/2, loves to wear costumes. He immediately changes into a costume when he gets home from school everyday and wears if for the rest of the day (he doesn't necessarily play like the character he has become, but he just likes to wear it). In the mornings he is very particular about what he wears (has to be soft and fuzzy) and gets very upset when those clothes are not available. On Saturday he has to wear fancy clothes to synagogue and hates to put them on. (We all change to play clothes after lunch on Saturdays and then he is very happy.) He does not complain about the fancy clothes once they are on, but complains and cries when we put them on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is how we handle it. Saturday morning is a must. During the week we bought him more of the clothes he likes. When he wants to change (in the mornings) he changes himself. When he wants us to change him I am 'busy' as this way I am not encouraging his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is wrong with him wearing what he wants (unless it is absolutely necessary)? The only problem with him changing clothes all the time is the laundry, if you have enough clothes does it really matter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choose your battles and this one, to me, is not one I would choose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="198" LastEditDate="2012-01-26T18:36:40.340" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T18:36:40.340" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4133" CreationDate="2012-01-23T14:00:43.393" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there a games the specifically do this, however most games will lend themselves to this skill.&#xA;I also think that narrating YOUR feelings out load when you get frustrated (or when you don't and are just faking it) and narrating how you solve the problem would teach her the skills of what to do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she is not frustrated, prior to what you know will be a difficult task, discuss with her what if...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to her teacher about how your daughter deals with frustration in school, it may be completely different and some of the 'acting out' may be for your benefit.  Through no fault of your own you probably spend more time with her twin on difficult work and your other daughter may want some of your attention (another reason for games).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want a specific game suggestion and your daughter is advanced I strongly recommend chess (see if there is a class she can take and play with her).  The game requires patience, persistence and gives you time to tutor her while it is not related to school.  Resist the urge to teach it to her twin, make it her special thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T14:00:43.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4135" CreationDate="2012-01-23T15:09:16.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son had a bit of a misshapen skull, and we were recommended to take him for cranial osteopathy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The osteopath was great over a course of a number of months (think he had about 5-6 sessions) the plates of his skull were gently manipulated to aid them with their alignment as he grew and they set.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seemed to do the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1651" LastEditorUserId="198" LastEditDate="2012-01-26T18:17:20.927" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T18:17:20.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2012-01-23T15:38:43.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know that cutting off computer at 20.30 seems unreasonable to you and it is, in my anecdotal experience, certainly out of the ordinary.  However, there's a very good chance that your parents are actually doing what is best for you.  Read up on how many people don't get enough sleep at night and how much being in front of a TV or computer can affect that and I think you might start to see your parents point of view.  One very good book is &quot;The Promise of Sleep&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T15:38:43.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1761" CreationDate="2012-01-23T16:15:33.140" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My gut is that your child is fine, however, if you are worried you are your child's best advocate and you know your child best, go with your gut and have them evaluated for your peace of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had two of my children tested for language issues.  There is a program here in CT that allows you to do this for free.  Do some research in your area to see if this is offered where you are; if not testing can be pretty expensive but probably worth your peace of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried have your child evaluated, it will save you the worry and heartache and if there is a problem it will be addressed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Even if there is no problem they can give you techniques specific for your child about what to do to encourage speaking.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="1889" LastEditDate="2012-01-23T17:43:59.580" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T17:43:59.580" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4151" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4699" CreationDate="2012-01-23T16:22:20.663" Score="1" ViewCount="1551" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What should a parent do to intervene in a relationship with an important relative and a child?  For example, if it is readily apparent that your child doesn't like her grandmother, even if the child doesn't verbalize it what should the parent do? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What if a relative (the same or another) doesn't like your child?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How do you foster the idea that a child must not allow her feelings to create a lack of respect for the relative, for example when the relative is leaving the house the child must say goodbye in an appropriate way.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="76" LastEditDate="2012-03-30T03:18:10.690" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T17:18:44.117" Title="Fostering a relationship with a relative your child doesn't like" Tags="|relationships|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4133" CreationDate="2012-01-23T20:12:47.640" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, also 10, tends to have great plans but no follow through. She has asymmetric skills, so is great in some things but so-so in others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a game point of view, we play Backgammon (Russian rules). The games tend to be about 20 minutes each, so are a lot shorter than Chess. Russian rules mean that you can go from a winning position to a losing one very quickly but if you persevere, you can recover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a plans point of view, I help her with the planning and setting up a schedule so she completes her projects. For example, she loves to write but never finishes so we work out a story plan that she can fill in. She still needs prodding to work on some of these projects but I think it is helping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a few cases, especially drawing, she tends to be a perfectionist. Occasionally, we'll sit down and spend some time working on the basic skills (perspective, proportion, etc...) so that next time she starts a picture, the skills are in place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T20:12:47.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4136" CreationDate="2012-01-23T22:25:53.623" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eldest was bothered by noise. I used to hold him with one ear against my chest and the other covered by my hand while he slept. It was nice for a few hours till things quietened down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2012-01-23T22:25:53.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4151" CreationDate="2012-01-24T00:11:10.670" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot depends on the details. Who is the relative, what is his/her relationship with the parents and/or other family members? Some families may have hidden, suppressed - or even open - tensions or conflicts between members. E.g. a mother-in-law may - secretly or openly - feel that she has been robbed of her son by her daughter-in-law. Etc, etc. Children can sense such tensions even if adults are hush-hush about these, and react upon them, even unconsciously. If there are such issues in the family, raising them to the light and resolving them properly may eventually solve the child's symptoms too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I believe the best approach is to accept it. We may try to talk with the child about why (s)he dislikes the adult in question, but - depending on her age - we may not get much useful information out of her. The person in question is also better accept it and keep the (physical / emotional / social) distance set up by the child. Follow her, be relaxed and be ready to accept any future communication attempt, but not force contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parents may want to ensure some minimum level of politeness and social contact, such as that the child must greet everyone properly, regardless of likes and dislikes. But that, again, is case specific. When I was a kid, there were adults in our family and among my parents' friends whom I plainly refused to greet, or get in contact with. My parents accepted the situation then. I still managed to learn the value of greeting people since then, and nowadays I greet everyone sincerely, out of my own will, not just because it is &amp;quot;polite&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Update&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with you, however, don't you think being polite and socially appropriate is an important thing to teach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think we should try to get to a healthy balance here. Obviously, raising a child to be totally unaware of social conventions is not good. At the opposite extreme, forcing him/her to be always polite and nice with everyone, effectively making her totally repress her internal feelings and thoughts, is not good either. Fair enough, every society is doing this to its members to a lesser or greater extent, so we can't fully avoid it, just strive to find the right balance between national / family culture, ourselves and the child in question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well, how do you get the relative to accept the child's boundaries, set up by the child? You have no control of the relative's reactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well that's a sensitive one. My feeling is, if that relative is important to you, and you have a good relationship with him/her, (s)he will probably more understanding. If she is not understanding, and reacts in an irresponsible way to your child, you may prefer keeping a distance to her anyway. I think in some cases the least worst option is just to try to minimize the occasions when you (and/or your child) need to be with such a relative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you foster the idea that a child must not allow her feelings to create a lack of respect for the relative, for example when the relative is leaving the house the child must say goodbye in an appropriate way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This depends on the child's age - a younger child acts purely out of feeling, and has no concept of &amp;quot;respect&amp;quot;, much less &amp;quot;social conventions&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;dignity&amp;quot;. To such a child, I would just say that we greet people when we meet or depart, period. Even those adults whom we may not particularly like. Now this is a sticky issue, because children usually are very sensitive to any discrepancy between our words and our own inner feelings. So I would definitely not pretend liking that relative if that is not the case. However, explicitly mentioning in the company of a smaller child that I don't like aunt Maggie is risky too, because I may end up hearing my exact words shouted out in the middle of the next great family reunion :-(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the best approach may be to consistently stick to a rule, and explain only as much of the background as necessary for the kid (if (s)he is specifically asking about it), on the appropriate level. Actually, in my experience, they often are very understanding on a subconscious level and don't ask those embarrassing questions openly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T16:08:42.783" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4155" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-24T03:48:02.717" Score="3" ViewCount="2755" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a couple of birthdays coming up soon and my partner will be 30 weeks pregnant,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the birthdays there is planned Ten Pin Bowling, and Paintball.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are these sports ok to do whilst at that stage of pregnancy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2160" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-24T13:27:06.083" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T19:54:34.487" Title="Is it safe to engage in sports while pregnant?" Tags="|pregnancy|sports|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4156" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4161" CreationDate="2012-01-24T05:21:26.697" Score="1" ViewCount="111" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're going to be in NYC on foot and taking the subway around all day. Or daughter is 3 months old.&#xA;We're going to bring our usual diaper bag, a baby carrier, a sling, extra change of clothes, water bottle(for mom &amp;amp; dad), ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What other things should we think about bringing? She feeds exclusively on the breast so no need for bottles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-25T10:11:47.813" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T10:11:47.813" Title="What are some considerations while preparing for an all day trip in NYC?" Tags="|infant|travel|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4156" CreationDate="2012-01-24T07:00:18.830" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are nuts!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, it is cold in NYC.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1/ Get a big, warm blanket .. polar fleece is good .. big enough to cover the stroller and big enough to cover and warm you both when feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2/ Prepare all three of you for adverse weather .. cold, rain, snow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3/ Bring more water than you think in necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4/ Bring at least twice the diapers, wipes, etc. than you think is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5/ Bring a few large trash bags as they are good for keeping things dry if rain goes crazy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-01-24T07:00:18.830" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4155" CreationDate="2012-01-24T10:00:27.580" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she has no special health issues, her pregnancy is OK, she is in good condition and has been doing more or less regular physical activity up to now, then why not, as long as she feels OK with it. It is definitely possible to do even vigorous physical activity throughout most of one's pregnancy - &lt;strong&gt;if&lt;/strong&gt; one is in good health and has been practicing regularly already before her pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line is, as usual, she is in the best position to sense her own internal feelings and wellbeing, so (assuming the above conditions are fulfilled) if she feels it's OK, let her join the party. However, if midway into it she feels it's enough for her, she can stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Week 30 is just in the third trimester, so the tummy (usually) should not be that big yet to stop her from moving, or to change her balance significantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/strong&gt; I am not a medical doctor, this is just my 2 cents worth. If in doubt, consult a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-01-24T10:00:27.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4155" CreationDate="2012-01-24T10:30:35.490" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ten pin bowling should be no problem at all, but I would encourage the use of extra body protection for paintball, mostly as getting a paintball to the stomach can be bad enough without it also impacting on stretched skin or an unborn baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that I would heartily endorse @Peter's answer. My wife continued with sports (including rock climbing) until she got big enough to prevent her moving easily, and even then would still go for 8-10 mile walks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-24T10:30:35.490" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4156" CreationDate="2012-01-24T13:37:27.507" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd strongly reconsider about the stroller.  If you don't have one, consider borrowing one (keep in mind that for a 3 month old you'll need to have a stroller suitable for an infant, so no umbrella strollers or anything that requires the child sit upright).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reasons for a stroller:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Storage!  Most strollers have some area where you can put bags, diapers, wipes, etc..  This can be invaluable when out and about, particularly if you're going to be out for an entire day.  You're going to need a lot of things (diapers, wipes, spare clothes, a changing pad, etc. gets to be a pretty bulky load), and if you have any plans on doing some shopping you'll want all the help you can get.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The stroller will provide opportunities for both you and your daughter to rest.  While your daughter may sleep just fine while you're holding her, not being able to put her down the entire day will take its toll on you both, even if you and your partner take turns carrying her.  This will also make meals much more manageable for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Space.  While at first glance having a stroller would seem to create problems regarding space, the trade off is that you can use it to gain more space for your daughter in crowded situations.  People are generally very accommodating for families with small children, and on a crowded subway the space your stroller takes up means your baby is less likely to get squished against a stranger.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-01-24T13:37:27.507" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4162" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4191" CreationDate="2012-01-24T20:45:43.977" Score="17" ViewCount="1854" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm curious what kind of criteria others are using to decide when a child can be left at home unattended for a period of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that the answer is going to depend on a few factors: The child's safety awareness and knowledge of what to do in a particular situation; their age; their maturity level; how long you intend to be gone; how far you're going; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a more concrete example: My daughter is 7-1/2, knows right from wrong, how to use a phone, our phone numbers, 911 (US emergency services number), not to answer the door unless we ask her to, not to mess with the stove, etc.  Is it conceivable that she's old enough to stay home alone for relatively short intervals?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd have to start with very short (5-10 minutes) intervals until both our and her confidence were built up, but I think she should be able to gain the confidence to be left home for longer than that.  I don't think she's old (or mature) enough to be left in charge of her younger siblings yet, but she could entertain herself and stay out of trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is about children taking early steps towards independence at home.  I know that when I was a teenager, my parents left me at home alone while they went shopping (which can be an all-day event with my mother :-) ) or even spent a weekend away.  They trusted that both the house and I would be in one piece when they came home.  But those weren't my first times being left at home alone -- this question is about the first steps one takes towards that level of independence.  When is the right time to start?  What are you looking for in your children that makes you think: &quot;They're ready to begin this particular journey?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="95" LastEditDate="2012-01-25T17:10:44.567" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T13:43:55.097" Title="At what age or developmental milestones is it safe to leave children unattended?" Tags="|safety|age-appropriate|independence|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4162" CreationDate="2012-01-24T20:55:10.280" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughters are 7 and 5,5. Both have already been left home alone a couple of times for ~10 minutes at most, and survived :-) We usually make sure they are engaged in watching some cartoon DVD or drawing, to minimize risks. (The risk we are most aware of is finding a complete mess of a household upon getting home ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like your daughter could start getting used to it too (if she is OK with it of course - ours had no problem, that's why we ventured to do it). Don't know what kind of apartment you are living in - if you have a garden, it is natural to start with leaving her inside alone while you adults are in the garden (or vice versa). This way should she mess up something, or start panicking, she knows where to find you right away. Once she is comfortable with that, you may consider leaving for 5-10 minutes. In our case it was not much a question of planning, rather necessity to leave one of them alone at home for some time. However, before that they were already comfortable playing along for extended periods of time in their own room, or in the garden, without us interfering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our street is quiet and safe, and the children don't know how to open the entrance door anyway (it is locked and they have no key - of course there is an emergency exit towards the backyard which is not locked when we are at home), so I am not worried of strangers getting into the house. YMMV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Update&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, leaving a kid at home alone for several hours or a whole afternoon is a very different thing. I would definitely not do that with my children now, and for several years yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T15:35:54.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4162" CreationDate="2012-01-25T01:34:59.677" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it were me I would wait until 10 and then be sure that they are responsible. A lot can happen and @ 7 I just don't think they have the stress skills to handle a situation if something did happen at the house. They would need to understand what they can/can't do why you are there and be trusted to actually follow those guidelines. They are kids and at 7 i just wouldn't be comfortable with that level of responsibility. The also need to know how to handle a situation when someone comes to the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1015" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T01:34:59.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4165" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4179" CreationDate="2012-01-25T02:30:03.110" Score="5" ViewCount="758" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nephew (10yo) has approached us about playing &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.animaljam.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AnimalJam&lt;/a&gt; and while I see it's sponsored by National Geographic Kids, I'm curious what the safety content of the game is. By that I mean both predatory users (we are talking about online worlds) and child-interactivity (so that would be bullying, aggressive game-play, etc). Is the play world moderated and under surveillance (so to speak) on a regular basis? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the positive values that would encourage me to pay for a membership? I know that there is something of &quot;accumulating things, unlocking new characters for play&quot; and the like, it's gamification, we use that here, plus DLC. I'm fine with those things, I just want to make sure that it seems a reasonable investment. He has only been playing this game for a few days, but apparently several of the girls in his class have been playing it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for parental monitoring, I .. was merely asked to vet the game, and do not know if he will be playing this in the vicinity of parents or not.  I'd like to know about animal jam in particular, but knowing how to figure these things out in general might also be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="233" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-22T15:19:30.247" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T15:19:30.247" Title="How do I decide if a particular program online is a good and safe place for kids and whether or not to pay for membership to programs that require it?" Tags="|games|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4166" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-25T08:19:31.133" Score="4" ViewCount="621" Body="&lt;p&gt;My cousin is 6 years old and actualy really heavy. Now he weighs about 29kg (64 lbs) which concerns me a lot. He has an average height for his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that the child eats way too much than it should. He can eat about 800gr (1,8 lbs) of lasagna on his own, and he doesn't get too much support to eat healthy at home. He can add as much to his plate as he wants and however he is encouraged to eat vegetables, if he takes another piece of meat, that's okay too. His drinks are always always always apple juice from a box, something that isn't quite helping him either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also has a sibling who is really skinny and can eat about everything without gaining weight. That seems also a problem to me because she's allowed to have chips and sweets and he can't. Wich always results in him secretly taking the snacks anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a little concerned because the parents don't take his weight quite seriously, they say it's just a little fat that will disappear over time. It's not that they don't love or care for their child because the take him to the pool for swim class and go by themselves a couple of times a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was wondering if there is anything I can do to help him as a niece, so he can eat healthier. In my opinion, the child doesn't understand he is overweight and it can be dangerous if he continues eating the portions and the unhealthy foods he eats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought about inviting him over to make some healthy snacks with fruit and just have fun with them so he believes that fruits are just yummier than cookies or sweets and he will want to eat them at home also. I just don't know if that's the right approach to help him in the right direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you know what I can do to help the kiddo out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have some good new to share. His parents have acknowledged his problem and are now helping him in a very good way to eat healthy and drop weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he drinks an entire bottle of water (1,5l), he gets some pocket money (1€). He can spend it like he wants to (but not on sweets). He's now so focused on drinking the bottle, he doesn't crave the apple juice anymore. He's also less hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he cheats and eats sweets or unhealthy snacks, he gets a sticker. If he has 5 stickers, he can't watch a daily soap he likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is now also encouraged to eat a small piece of meat, potatoes and a lot of vegetables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is going the good way and hope he gets to a more normal weight soon!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2164" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2017-07-15T18:18:03.343" LastActivityDate="2017-07-21T20:56:18.903" Title="How can I help my 6-year old cousin eat healthier?" Tags="|health|primary-schooler|weight|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4166" CreationDate="2012-01-25T09:00:19.403" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The problem is that the child eats way too much than it should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Under normal circumstances, I believe, children instinctively know how much of what their body needs. However, it is easy to spoil their instincts body consciousness. Sweets create a craving in the brain, and it is difficult - for a child near impossible - to separate the signals from the brain and the stomach. And as we know, eating may also often become a replacement for something else. Could it be that the child does not have enough other sources of joy in his life? Like harmonious family life, friends, social activities etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;he doesn't get too much support to eat healthy at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that's a real problem. &lt;strong&gt;You can't really make a change in his eating habits without support from his parents.&lt;/strong&gt; And if his parents let things get this far, I am afraid he has already well entrenched eating habits which are difficult to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you talked to his parents about your concerns? Are they concerned too, or do they dismiss the issue (or might they even see his weight as a positive thing)? This is very much culture dependent - in most traditional cultures being overweight has been seen as a positive sign, demonstrating that you were healthy and rich enough to eat well (and it was also a built-in fat reserve for times of famine). Even though those times are over (in the West at least), the old ways of thinking takes generations to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from his family, another strong influence at this age is other children. It is, alas, very typical in kindergarten / school restaurants (at least in our country) that children spectacularly hate all sorts of vegetables, which thus becomes the ruling sentiment. Even our own children, who like most vegetables and used to eat all sorts of our homemade vegetarian / exotic meals happily, became much more dismissive to these after starting kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I thought about inviting him over to make some healthy snacks with fruit and just have fun with them so he believes that fruits are just yummier than cookies or sweets and he will want to eat them at home also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am afraid that may not work straight away. I remember from my own childhood, that - having a sweet tooth - I found fruits in their natural form simply sour (compared to chocolate and its ilk), so I just didn't like most of them. It took a considerable amount of time as an adult, having reduced my intake of sweets, to start enjoying the natural sweetness of fruits. So at least, be prepared to add some extra sugar to your fruit snacks in the beginning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T09:00:19.403" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4165" CreationDate="2012-01-25T15:04:26.813" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When evaluating a website for kids the best way if for you to play multiple times so you get many experiences with the game.&#xA;Some things to watch out for:&#xA; 1. does it require a username and password, and if so why?&#xA; 2. Does it want an email address? (If so use yours not your child's) What will it do with that email address?&#xA; 3. Are they playing against other people online, or only against yourself?&#xA; 4. If you are playing against other people is their a way for you to block everyone except approved (by you) players?&#xA; 5. Does it advertise for itself, asking you to buy things as you play?&#xA;6. Does it have advertising on the side of the screen?&#xA;7. Does it bring up pop-up windows?&#xA;8. Does it ask you to download? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are not 'correct' answers to these question but you have to evaluate each one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best ways to keep you child safe are to have all online access in a public place (that means computers, telephones, ipads, etc).&#xA;Another important thing to do is have ongoing conversations about online safety (predators, downloading, passwords, bullying, etc).  If you continue the dialogue when something happens (which it will eventually) your child will come to you for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck navigating the online world, not an easy thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of the site you asked about, I just went on it very quickly and it appears that, based on answering the questions above I would allow my child to play it.  I would be sure, however, to check the parent's dashboard frequently and set the chat options to make it comfortable and safe for my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="1889" LastEditDate="2012-01-25T16:17:02.233" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T16:17:02.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4162" CreationDate="2012-01-25T15:22:57.500" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although it sounds like you beleive your child is ready to be left at home I still can't beleive it is a good idea.  The first question I would ask is why does she need to be left home alone?  As mentioned above check the law, you could be legally neglecting your child be leaving her.  It is not only a question of maturity, it is a question as well about social/emotional development.  While you think, and she may appear to think, it is a complement to be considered old enough to be left at home what message is it truly sending her about your care of her?  I was a 'latch key kid' (the old phrase in the US for kids that came home alone from school with a key to the house) and I always felt, deep inside, that my mom's work was more important than I was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of answering your core question, what age is the right age.  You are right that it depends on the individual child, however, I would not even consider it until 10 or 11. why rush? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T15:22:57.500" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4170" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-25T16:13:01.443" Score="4" ViewCount="696" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4.5-year-old daughter moved to the 'big kids school' this year to attend pre-k. The school goes through eighth grade and so is perceived by my kids as the 'big kids school'. Prior to that she went to nursery school at another place. The nursery school started a kindergarten program that we feel will better serve her, compared to the one offered to her in the school she currently attends,due to her learning style. We will be moving her back to this school for first grade. An added complication is her younger brother is moving to the 'big kids school' for pre-k.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are there any suggestions on how to help her understand why we are moving her and to help her not think we are moving her back to a little kids school?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-03T13:29:54.930" LastActivityDate="2019-04-03T13:29:54.930" Title="How to help a 4.5-year-old understand why she'll move back to the &quot;little kids school&quot;?" Tags="|pre-schooler|school|communication|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4053" CreationDate="2012-01-25T19:51:47.353" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Separation anxiety in children is a function of our culture.  In other societies where the child is raised within a large group, and care is often passed on from one family member to another, the child rarely reacts to the absence of a parent.  It's a fairly easy Google search to find many anthropological studies that reflect this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lesson we can draw from other cultures is the value of introducing your child to many other people.  You can setup play dates for times when daddy is not home, or go out for a different social activity.  This way you can allow the child to view the father going off to work not as a scary loss, but an opportunity for increased interactions.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="321" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T19:51:47.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4173" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-25T21:35:34.590" Score="0" ViewCount="111" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got premature twins that have a tube connected to their stomach. We use the tube to control the digestion and sometimes to feed them. When we suck the food from the stomach to see how much did they digest often a lot of air is coming out. Should we put the air to the stomach together with the food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, is air in the stomach a right thing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2165" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T23:40:38.770" Title="Air in the stomach" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2012-09-14T19:48:48.367" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4173" CreationDate="2012-01-25T23:40:38.770" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This one isn't so much parenting as medical:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should probably ask the neo-natal folks at your hospital as with small prems it is critical to get things right until they have their strength up. Get fully qualified medical opinion on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-25T23:40:38.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4175" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-26T01:12:57.610" Score="5" ViewCount="324" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any experience with severe reactions to vaccinations and how to proceed? My 2 month old had a severe reaction to his first round of standard vaccinations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2167" LastActivityDate="2012-05-25T19:20:51.233" Title="Vaccine reactions" Tags="|immunizations|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4078" CreationDate="2012-01-26T01:43:43.520" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband I have recently taken to reading the same parenting book and then discussing that so we are not pointing fingers at each other about what the other perceives as poor parenting.  This seems to be keeping us on the same page in terms of discipline, rules, rewards, and punishments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T01:43:43.520" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4175" CreationDate="2012-01-26T03:33:33.370" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vac-gen/side-effects.htm#modreact&quot;&gt;the CDC&lt;/a&gt;, you should look for...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;any unusual condition, such as a high fever, weakness, or behavior changes. Signs of a serious allergic reaction can include difficulty breathing, hoarseness or wheezing, hives, paleness, weakness, a fast heart beat or dizziness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's what you're seeing, I hope you called a doctor right after posting your question.  If not, do so now.  If it's not severe, keep an eye on him and call your pediatrician if it persists.  Things like mild soreness, fussiness, or redness at the injection site aren't usually a concern except for being uncomfortable for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T03:33:33.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4135" CreationDate="2012-01-26T09:37:27.023" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to put forward the counter-argument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be aware, the evidence to suggest that the misshapen head that babies get from sleeping on their back is going to lead to a permanently misshapen skull is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2009/sep/24/flat-head-syndrome-helmet-cure&quot;&gt;highly contentious&lt;/a&gt;, especially in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12170548&quot;&gt;medical systems where there's less of a profit motive&lt;/a&gt;, and therefore no real advantage to the medical centre in selling what is at core &lt;strong&gt;a £2,000 cycle helmet&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The argument is that this will sort itself out on its own as the skull matures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to go ahead with this just in case, that's fine, but it's worth doing some research first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T09:37:27.023" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4165" CreationDate="2012-01-26T09:45:54.000" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids have been playing animaljam for a while now and I don't subscribe to the membership. My kids haven't complained about that. They still enjoy it. As for interaction, you can set for your child to chat freely or to choose from a list of set sentences. My daughter says you can report the person if bullying occurs. You can also choose to &quot;ignore&quot; that person so they can't interact with you and vice versa. So far, it has been a good experience for my kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2170" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T09:45:54.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4136" CreationDate="2012-01-26T10:16:19.690" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some babies are more sensitive than others. I was lucky to have my kids sleep through the fire crackers. If your baby gets upset, I guess all you can do is hold the baby close to you and close the ears with your hand. Find a room, close the door and windows to block out some of the noise too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2170" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T10:16:19.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4181" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4183" CreationDate="2012-01-26T16:06:43.340" Score="7" ViewCount="1358" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions/experiences of the best characteristics for a baby clothes detergent would be appreciated. We are in the UK, in case that influences the options we should look for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2171" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-10-26T17:17:08.860" LastActivityDate="2018-10-26T17:17:08.860" Title="Should we use special detergent/washing powder for the laundry of baby clothes?" Tags="|infant|newborn|clothes|allergies|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="103" CreationDate="2012-01-26T16:07:52.747" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main reason is teenagers act himself to show or express or prove be a strongest, Hardest, Brave Leader.&#xA;and consciously or unconsciously they searching to how to prove I'm the leader of strongest, hardest, bravest, fretful, cheerful, leader. &#xA;therefor they acting with their most sincere places.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;where this limitations facing child's and teenagers on their life.&#xA;and how to overcome their immature confidences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;first we support teenagers and give lot of loving confidences and consider their attitudes, behaviors, talents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and first thing is you don't teach your child they naturally learned your behaviors.&#xA;therefor be sure you walking in the right ways. so we just help to choosing the correct ways on their life's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;because if you not consider their talents and their grasping powers.&#xA;they will try to express their talents and grasping powers more strongly on out side of the home or in the home. may be that time they using ways are not corrected but unfortunately we can't to lead their ways because they don't want others couching class they feel short and insulting himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;so simply understand their talents and attitudes and consider with loving values.&#xA;they will comes to care first you :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2172" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T16:07:52.747" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4181" CreationDate="2012-01-26T16:19:40.593" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did buy special soap for our first child (it is very expensive) but by the time the third and fourth came around we didn't have time to wash their clothes separately and we found it completely unnecessary.  I would use regular soap (without perfumes) and see what happens.  If your child seems to be having a reaction (rash) then speak to the Doctor about suggestions (it may not be the laundry or he/she can tell you what to use)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T16:19:40.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4181" CreationDate="2012-01-26T18:26:24.750" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always avoided perfumed detergents, and any that had &quot;Bio&quot; in the name, but I do the same now they are older. The less of those unneccesary chemicals, the less likely it will be that something will irritate the skin or be an allergen for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T18:26:24.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4185" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-26T19:34:22.960" Score="4" ViewCount="8284" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are students who are pulled out of class for either remedial or advanced work negatively influenced either in their self esteem or in their social circles?  How does a parent evaluate which is more important, being pulled out for academics or the social and self esteem issues?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-01-26T20:05:13.667" LastActivityDate="2019-07-17T02:18:05.827" Title="Does pulling kids out of class for special help negatively influence them?" Tags="|education|social-development|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4155" CreationDate="2012-01-26T19:54:34.487" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the general sense, it is okay to engage in sports while pregnant, presuming she's had a healthy pregnancy and was physically active before getting pregnant as well. However, the pregnant belly is also somewhat delicate and it is not recommended to engage in any sport where projectiles or balls or feet or whatever might slam into the stomach at high speed, or where the risk of injury is significantly high as a serious injury could add complications to the pregnancy, so I would be inclined to say that while bowling is safe, I wouldn't recommend paintball.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T19:54:34.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4181" CreationDate="2012-01-26T20:21:39.610" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm from the US, so I'm not familiar with the brands available where you live.  Here, though, the most popular &quot;baby detergent&quot; is Dreft.  If you compare the ingredients in Dreft with most other laundry detergents, you don't find much of a difference.  I have the feeling that the same thing would be true of baby detergents in the UK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with @morah; you should try regular detergent, and only consider switching if your baby has a reaction.  Then take a look at the ingredient list yourself, to see if paying more for a special detergent is worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://baby.families.com/blog/the-dreft-wars&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://baby.families.com/blog/the-dreft-wars&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ingredients: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pgproductsafety.com/productsafety/search_results.php?searchtext=Dreft&amp;amp;category=ingredients&amp;amp;submit=Search&amp;amp;submit=Search&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.pgproductsafety.com/productsafety/search_results.php?searchtext=Dreft&amp;amp;category=ingredients&amp;amp;submit=Search&amp;amp;submit=Search&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1530" LastActivityDate="2012-01-26T20:21:39.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4185" CreationDate="2012-01-27T08:30:12.650" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being excluded from normal classes to get remedial work is definitely &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; good for your self-esteem. This happened to me for several reasons during school, and it brands you as stupid both with others and yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought I was bad at maths, because I was sent to remedial work for mathematics in 5th grade. I realized later this was because I refused to learn the multiplication tables by heart as I didn't see the point. (How absurd this was dawned on me in high school, when I realized I had taught myself all elementary school maths and some high-school maths when I was 7 or 8 years old, by reading a book about maths I borrowed from the library).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was also sent to remedial work in Swedish, because my handwriting was ugly. Unsurprisingly, it still is. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: &lt;strong&gt;Schools should simply stop this practice, it's not helping anyone.&lt;/strong&gt; I didn't see any of the guys in remedial maths class actually get any better (although I did finally learn that 7*8 was...uhm... 56? OK. turns out I still need to check with a calculator to be sure). This was because most of them simply didn't &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to learn maths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being pulled out for &lt;em&gt;advanced&lt;/em&gt; work is something that is wholly alien to the &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Scandinavian mindset&lt;/a&gt; so this never happened to me. That may not carry the same problems, I don't know. It would probably have made me less bored in school, which would have been good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2012-01-27T08:41:15.653" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T08:41:15.653" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4185" CreationDate="2012-01-27T22:01:56.477" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that it is greatly dependent on the culture of the school and they way it is done. The elementary school I work at both pulls students out for extra help and has additional teachers &quot;push in&quot; to the classroom to provide additional support. As a staff, we make every effort to include all students in the initial instruction and provide the additional support while students are having independent work time. We spend a great deal of our professional development time discussing the effects of this. We are constantly reflecting and changing to best meet the students and it does not seem to have any negative social impact and the educational benefits are obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, as a student, I was pulled out for advanced math and reading. It was the greatest educational opportunity for me because I was engaged in learning rather than bored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With all of that being said, I think that if it is done poorly and those children being pulled out are made to feel like they are in any way &quot;less&quot; than the other students it may not be beneficial to the student being pulled out. As with everything, it can either be done well or done poorly and they only way to know that is to have open, honest discussions with the teachers. I suggest asking questions about when and how they go about pulling students out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T22:01:56.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4190" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4192" CreationDate="2012-01-27T22:22:59.573" Score="12" ViewCount="30455" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is Italian, I am Swedish. Between us we speak English, neither one of us knows the other language. We are currently living in Sweden and will do so for a while. The baby will be born in May.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is actually half-Japanese and while not mother-tongue she speaks it well enough for conversational use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have seen &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2994/raising-a-bilingual-child-when-one-parent-knows-both-languages-while-the-other-d&quot;&gt;Raising a bilingual child when one parent knows both languages while the other doesn&amp;#39;t&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/67/what-are-some-strategies-for-raising-a-bilingual-child&quot;&gt;What are some strategies for raising a bilingual child?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our thought so far is to speak English when we are all together, Swedish between me and the baby, Italian between my wife and the baby. And then at some point, my wife's mother may introduce Japanese.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have similar experiences of having three languages from start? &#xA;What worked? What didn't? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any advice on whether to (and when and how) introduce Japanese?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any recommended references on the subject of... raising children with three languages?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2185" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2020-01-30T18:22:16.027" Title="How do we raise our child with three languages?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4162" CreationDate="2012-01-27T22:32:08.423" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beyond finding out if it is legally an option to leave your child alone (regardless of the time span) I think there are a few things that need to be considered before leaving a child alone regardless of the age that happens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you live in a relatively safe location and is there a nearby neighbor that your child can turn to for assistance in case of an emergency?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is your child able to reason through a problem and make a safe choice (a stranger at the door = don't answer the door, if I get hurt, I should call for help, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;All homes contain dangers, but does yours have additional dangers to accidental death/ injury, e.g. in-ground pool.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect there may be more, but they escape me. I would also think the first stage might be being left alone inside while you are doing yard work or being left in the living room while you go down to the laundry room and fold a load of laundry, slowly widening the distance and extending the time period. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever your child reaches the point of being left alone, make sure to remind them of the rules and expectations. I recall my mom reminding us every time she would leave us alone even for a few minutes, &quot;do not open the door to anyone, if you answer the phone, you tell them you mom is in the bathroom, if there are any problems - go next door and 911 is for real emergencies.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2012-01-27T22:32:08.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4190" CreationDate="2012-01-28T08:27:56.057" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Our thought so far is to speak English when we are all together, Swedish between me and the baby, Italian between my wife and the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the way recommended by all sources I know of. I.e. be consistent with your use of language when you talk to the child - each parent (and other persons too) use one and the same language - preferably his/her mother tongue - at all times, as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On average, bi- and trilingual children develop their language skills slower than others, which is quite understandable as they need to process a greater amount of stuff. However, as usual, there are wild variations in skill development. E.g. we know a child with a Spanish father, Finnish-Russian mother, currently living in Hungary and attending an English school (earlier they lived in Moscow for a while). He is a bit over 7 and speaks all five languages quite fluently. This happens, but is definitely not the norm :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So be patient, talk to her a lot, relax your expectations - she will most likely learn all three languages sooner or later. You are also right not to throw in Japanese into the mix yet - I would start that only around school age or even later, when she already has a firm grip with the first three languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared that she will most likely develop preferences, depending on how much each language is used, and by whom. E.g. our children are bilingual (I am Hungarian, my wife Finnish), and the elder is fairly balanced between the two, because she started to talk earlier, and spent more time at home with her mom. The younger, having been slower to develop, and started at kindergarten earlier, has significantly weaker and more passive Finnish skills. Obviously the wider environment has a strong influence in this once she starts to spend more time outside of home. So at kindergarten / preschool / school age you may want to take opportunities to upkeep and strengthen the other, non-local language (which would be Italian in your case, at least for the time being). Our children attend to the local Finnish Sunday school, to learn more about the culture, spend time with Finnish speaking friends, practice reading / writing etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1761/how-can-we-improve-a-trilingual-toddlers-basic-language-development&quot;&gt;this related thread&lt;/a&gt; too - it has useful suggestions and references, also details about the checkpoints, i.e. what to expect realistically from your child at a given age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-01-28T08:52:17.460" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4193" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4198" CreationDate="2012-01-28T09:53:49.927" Score="12" ViewCount="2114" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently I was in the following situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wanted to pick up my son (4.5 years old) in the kindergarten and another child was throwing bark mulch at him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't consider this especially dangerous, but it is forbidden and my son did not like it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My son was upset, cried that the other one should stop and was hiding behind me, latching himself onto my leg.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I calmly told the other one to stop throwing things, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;but he did not react (he's also about 4 years old and one of those boys who often do not listen to what the kindergarten teachers or adults tell them).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;at the moment none of the kindergarten teachers was close enough to see what happens and intervene&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I wonder&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what should a parent do in such a situation?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For sure I want to protect my son (and I do not want to give him the feeling to be lost with his problems although a parent is with him),&lt;br&gt;&#xA;but on the other hand he also has to learn to protect himself in such situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it is especially difficult to deal with other people's children which do not respect my authority as an adult at all, but IMHO that should be a separate question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-01-28T12:24:26.367" LastActivityDate="2013-11-21T01:14:37.323" Title="How should I react if another child &quot;attacks&quot; my son by doing something he does not like (but not especially dangerous)" Tags="|pre-schooler|bullying|violence|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4194" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4208" CreationDate="2012-01-28T10:02:03.037" Score="23" ViewCount="1974" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some good strategies for dealing with misbehaving children who are not my own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The children in my son's kindergarten class&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do things to me or to my son which they should not do like throwing things, etc.,  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do not stop when I tell them, so they don't respect my authority as an adult.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One example for such a situation is described in this question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4193/how-should-i-react-if-another-child-attacks-my-son-by-doing-something-he-does&quot;&gt;How should I react if another child &amp;quot;attacks&amp;quot; my son by doing something he does not like (but not especially dangerous)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some boys in 'smy son kindergarten class who are quite &quot;wild&quot; and seem to enjoy doing things they're not allowed to do. Often it's also difficult for the kindergarten teachers to stop them from misbehaving; it seems it's not enough to tell them to stop, but they have to be taken by the hand and lead away, etc. Even then they are not always obedient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a general question, however in my current situation this is especially about &lt;em&gt;pre-schoolers&lt;/em&gt;, and I think the possible answers might be different for different age groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-10-22T16:47:18.060" Title="How to deal with others' children who do not respect my authority?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4194" CreationDate="2012-01-28T10:51:45.550" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If they are in kindergarten, the responsibility should be on the staff there - if you step in and do something you could end up in trouble. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a wider context, these days in the UK or US there is very little you can do without falling foul of some nanny-state regulation. When I was young if I did something wrong I would expect any adult nearby to give me a skelp round the lug, or to tell my parents (who would then ground me) but those days are gone. If a child hits you and you retaliate in anyway you are likely to be the one punished, so my advice would be to just ignore it and move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This counts for all age groups, as far as I can tell :-(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-28T10:51:45.550" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4194" CreationDate="2012-01-28T10:53:38.913" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My understanding and feeling is that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These children are not intentionally wild or disobedient to be &quot;bad&quot; - they usually crave something: attention, time, love, clear guidance/rules from others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These others are very often their own parents first of all. Almost always when the child is wild / disobedient, it is advised to look at the parents. It is probably not possible to achieve a long term solution without them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the short term, just to stop the child from misbehaving, I would try the following, depending on the situation:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;firmly (but not painfully) hold him (or her) by the arms, look straight into the eyes and state in a calm, but firm voice that this and this is not allowed to do (may need to be repeated several times if the child doesn't listen)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or if I feel that the child is more like craving for attention, or that he would freak out if I used the first method, I would try starting a conversation, asking what's up, or posing some totally unrelated but funny or playful question, to put him off of the current rut and bring him into a more friendly, cooperative mood.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, as @Rory points out, being on &quot;foreign territory&quot;, it is advisable to discuss the issue with the teachers first. They might have different ideas / strategies to resolve the situation, and/or may object to me interrupting in such situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-01-28T12:40:41.393" LastActivityDate="2012-01-28T12:40:41.393" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4193" CreationDate="2012-01-28T10:56:01.283" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Related to my answer on your other question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are in kindergarten, the responsibility should be on the staff there - if you step in and do something you could end up in trouble. Your only real option is to explain to the staff what happened, and insist that they do something about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The staff may however say that as it is not dangerous, it is a part of growing up that there will be confrontations and they have a policy to let them happen up to a point. It sounds like you may agree with this, at least in part, from your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should talk to your child to let them know that sometimes things happen which are less fun, but that it wasn't dangerous and was just other kids 'being silly or naughty'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also be sure to say to your son that you hope he wouldn't behave in such a naughty way - encourage good behaviours by pointing out things like this as naughty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-28T10:56:01.283" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4193" CreationDate="2012-01-28T14:10:27.353" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I gave some thoughts in my answer to your related question. I would also like to react to your comment to Rory:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;what do I advise my son to do in such a situation. He currently tends to running away crying (at worst with tears) where I'm not sure if it is the best way. For sure, beating back isn't neither...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is surely not the best way, as it gives a perception of him being sensitive and easy to push out of balance. Which may easily encourage the harassers to repeat their act again, whenever they are bored. The ideal behaviour would be to &lt;strong&gt;stay calm&lt;/strong&gt;, and either&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;report it to the teacher&lt;/strong&gt; (if there is a reasonable hope that the teacher will resolve the issue) or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;just accept it without any reaction for a while (if it doesn't hurt him or make his clothes dirty etc.), to &lt;strong&gt;have the offender get bored and leave&lt;/strong&gt;, or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;give an unexpected or witty response, to &lt;strong&gt;throw him off balance&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Staying calm is not at all easy at that age, but you may help by talking through the situation with your son, making him understand that you fully support him, and that there are better or worse solutions to the problem, most of which take time. You may even want to &quot;rehearse&quot; such situations with him playfully, both to help him internalize the proper way(s) to react to such challenges, and to make him experience it in a safe situation, and realize that it is not the end of the world anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially the witty approach usually needs rehearsing some canned answer to the given challenge. It doesn't need to be awesomely funny for us adults, it should work on the kids' level. I can't offer a perfect answer to you for this situation right off the top of my head, but share you a few examples from our life: when our daughter told she had been chased by the boys a bit too wildly in the school, we told her to respond to them &quot;come here for a peck on the cheek&quot;. That was sure to embarrass those wild boys just trying to show off their manliness :-) In another case, a higher grade student teased her by saying &quot;pacifier, pacifier&quot; (she just started first grade). So we told her to respond &quot;oh, do you need one? Sure, I will buy it for you&quot; :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And another thing you may do is to &lt;strong&gt;make friends with the offender(s)&lt;/strong&gt;. Invite them for a party, where your kid may present himself in a well known and safe environment, under parental control. Thus, bullying is explicitly forbidden, but fair games - even more &quot;manly&quot; ones like wrestling, throwing balls etc. - are allowed (or even expressly arranged, if the situation calls for this!), but always with clear rules, and a competent parent acting as judge. This may make your son more courageous and earn more peer respect for him, thus potentially ending the bullying. It did work in one case I read about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-01-28T14:10:27.353" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4200" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-30T16:31:59.987" Score="5" ViewCount="1059" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my nephews seem to have speech issues.  The 8 year old has major trouble with Rs and is often not understandable.  The 3 year old has problems in general so much so that my 3 and 4 year olds don't want to play with him because they can't understand him (we are working with our kids, don't worry about that).&#xA;I have spoken to my sister about it and she is basically in denial. She sometimes makes the 8 year old repeat himself, but even then he doesn't really have the skills to fix the word properly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When is too young to diagnose and help with a speech impediment and when is it too late to truly fix the problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="2192" LastEditDate="2012-01-30T16:48:56.843" LastActivityDate="2012-02-01T08:09:38.020" Title="When is the age to start addressing/diagnosing speech impedements?" Tags="|development|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4200" CreationDate="2012-01-30T16:37:56.390" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At a stammering conference a participant commented that her parents remember she stammered/stuttered on the first word she pronounced. Therefore diagnosis can be made immediately. Regarding addressing, the approach has to be age related, particularly to avoid the child to become too self-conscious of the issue, but a good speech therapist can address it asap after the diagnosis with appropriate methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2192" LastActivityDate="2012-01-30T16:37:56.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4202" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-30T22:02:32.217" Score="2" ViewCount="191" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know some skills are best learned while a person is very young, like a second language, or absolute pitch. What are some other skills that are best learned while young and can be beneficial to a person? My thinking is that since those skills can only be learned while young, then that would be the time to focus and teach them.  Other skills like reading/math can be focused on later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2193" LastEditorUserId="1530" LastEditDate="2012-01-31T04:51:45.577" LastActivityDate="2012-01-31T13:32:53.610" Title="Which skills are best learned while very young?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2012-01-31T14:06:14.900" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4202" CreationDate="2012-01-30T22:08:23.477" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beside language and musical skills, one thing that is never thought in schools is &lt;em&gt;character&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;assertiveness&lt;/em&gt; skills, they present a challenge as sometimes the parents don't posses them, although there are many good books on the topic (just check an online book store and read the ratings!). &lt;em&gt;Meta&lt;/em&gt; self-help books such as the &lt;em&gt;7 habits of highly successful people&lt;/em&gt;, which go beyond mere tips to forge true character are recommended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2192" LastActivityDate="2012-01-30T22:08:23.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4202" CreationDate="2012-01-31T13:32:53.610" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kindness, following directions (need for school and business, not just discipline), sharing, group 'work', sportsmanship, kindness (o-did I already say this), empathy, creative play (work), kindness (o-did I say this again), problem solving skills, how to deal with difficult people, kindness (again).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can give suggestions on how to teach some of these if you wish, but the question was what skills should be taught.  It is very hard to get rid of bad habits if these skills are not taught from the beginning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-01-31T13:32:53.610" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4194" CreationDate="2012-01-31T17:03:00.647" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry. My son (2 years) is one of the wild ones. He's rough, aggressive, has a high tolerance for pain, and is nearly fearless. What's more, he loves to break things, tackle people, wrestle, and test his limits (over and over). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sorry that he is jumping up and down on your son. I'm sorry that he just head butted your daughter in the face. I am not excusing his behavior; I'm apologizing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don't be angry with him. I don't think it will help anything. Feel free to intervene. I don't want him to hurt your child. And he really doesn't either. He'll probably say that he's sorry if you give him a chance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a good strategy to deal with him. Approach the situation with his best interests at heart. Approach him with loving-kindness. Physically stop or prevent the wild or bad behavior. Don't display anger. Just separate him from your child and stand between them. He may think that you are joining in the rough-housing game he just invented. He might try to push you back (presumably you just pushed him to move him away from your child). Don't let that provoke you. Just expect it. You are doing exactly what he thinks is the funnest kind of play. Make it clear that you are not playing. Tell him, concretely, not to do the thing that concerns you. If you are not concrete he will not be able to follow your direction (even if he wanted to). He will likely cry for being admonished, for being prevented from playing the way he wants to, for being embarrassed in front of everyone. That's fine. That's part of the feedback loop he needs to learn not to do certain things. He may throw himself on the floor in a tantrum. Please try to catch him and prevent him from hitting his head on the ground. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're going to have to do this over and over. I do this about 30-40 times an hour while I'm around him. Every day. Whenever he's awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't ever hurt him. Don't scream at him. Don't intimidate or scare him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider is, some of the times, letting him be wild with your child. There will be bumps and bruises, crying and fits. But there is a lot of evidence that both of these approaches are needed to let children develop the skills they need to thrive when they grow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-01-31T17:03:00.647" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4209" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-01-31T17:20:02.617" Score="4" ViewCount="417" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8-year-old daughter- She is in a play and is very well prepared. However, she is having trouble sleeping because other children are not. I have talked with her about how she can only be responsible for herself, but she is still anxious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example is when my daughter knows her teacher will be out, she gets very nervous that the sub won't like her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder how to deal with issues like perfectionism, worrying about others' misbehavior or being unprepared, or agonizing when things don't go right. How to assess when it is too much.  What can a parent do to alleviate this and teach coping skills and when does professional intervention need to be sought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How much is too much worry / anxiety in a child?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-03T12:10:42.813" LastActivityDate="2019-06-03T12:45:08.177" Title="How much is too much worry/anxiety in a child?" Tags="|primary-schooler|emotional-well-being|anxiety|coping|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4209" CreationDate="2012-01-31T21:22:00.940" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is one of those eternals - children have various phases when they worry about things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I know I was deeply concerned about nuclear war between 1979 and 1985) but those phases pass.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One of my kids (the 9 year old) worries about getting a good job when older&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reassurance is important here, along with encouragement. In your specific case, I think you need to help your daughter understand that children's plays aren't necessarily about being perfect, but that you would love to watch her try her best as she is the one most important to you. If the others aren't as good, it won't ruin your enjoyment of her performance at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a desire to do well and encourage others to do well is actually a very desirable quality to develop, so I don't think intervention is required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-01-31T21:22:00.940" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4200" CreationDate="2012-02-01T08:09:38.020" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's never too late. Patients can range from 1 year to 90. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speech impediments can begin to be diagnosed at nearly any age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, most(?) schools will do screenings in kindergarten or first grade...though schools tend to have limited resources for assisting in remedial therapy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-02-01T08:09:38.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4181" CreationDate="2012-02-01T14:32:57.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of our children have sensitive skin (to the point that it seems like looking at their skin cross-eyed causes a breakout, and they would have rashes anywhere the clothing would touch) and we switched our whole family to Charlie's Laundry Soap (you can get it on Amazon for approximately the same cost as other detergents) on our pediatrician's recommendation.  Haven't had any issues since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: our pediatrician felt that the dyes and fragrance chemicals in 'standard' detergents were causing the problem.  Since Charlie's is dye-free and fragrance-free, he felt it would be a good one to try.  No more rashes since we switched!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2012-02-03T13:13:12.220" LastActivityDate="2012-02-03T13:13:12.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4214" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-02T10:39:15.273" Score="6" ViewCount="8289" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler (almost 3) at some point a few months ago stopped falling asleep by herself - now one of us needs to sit with her in her room, hold hands, etc. until she fully falls asleep. What is considerably more annoying, the same applies if she wakes up during the night - she starts shouting &quot;I want my dad&quot;, so I have to get up, go to her, spend 30 mins or so until she falls asleep again. Usually she wakes up 2 times every night, so I am rather exhausted at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would appreciate any advice on how to break this pattern. With other things (e.g. giving away dummy, going to the nursery) we used educational books and cartoons (even about Peppa Pig when she is in her nursery) to convinced her that that's what &quot;big&quot; children do - but I wasn't able to find any decent material in this case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2012-02-12T05:36:37.777" Title="Teaching a (almost) 3 year old she can fall asleep on her own" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4214" CreationDate="2012-02-02T11:09:14.860" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it possible that she is afraid? This is the age when children usually start to be afraid of things, and especially of darkness. Ours did too, although it was not so problematic as your case. So try to discover the underlying reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is fear, first of all, if her room is too dark, you should install a night light. This helps to gradually make her let go of you. You may need some &quot;training&quot;, to convince her - first to not hold your hand, while you are still sitting next to her bed, then gradually to accept that you are not directly next to her, but a little further away... then in the neighboring room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also need to discuss fear with her, and use suitable bedside stories - or just plain open discussion - to alleviate her fears. Fear is definitely a real thing for children, and it won't go away by us wise adults asserting there is nothing to be afraid of - it's inside their mind, not outside in the room. At that age, they can't yet separate their internal imagery from reality. So you may need to set up some bedtime ceremonies to make them feel safe, such as checking and locking the doors/windows while telling her that now nothing bad can get in from outside, or putting a toy weapon next to her &quot;just in case a wolf gets in&quot; etc. (Girls typically have a meagrer selection of guns or lightsabres than boys, but ours have e.g. magic wands, and they used them to the same effect occasionally.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-02-02T11:30:15.087" LastActivityDate="2012-02-02T11:30:15.087" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4214" CreationDate="2012-02-02T13:28:07.947" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;To add to the above excellent answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About middle of the night wake ups:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go to her and have her try to verbalize why she woke up.  This is the time when nightmares start.  Also try to think what was introduced to her that day that could, in a child's mind, become a nightmare.  Then come up with a solution to her problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my 4-year-old woke up with a nightmare after learning a Bible story.  She was able to tell me briefly that cows came out of the water and ate all the bad guys but then started eating the good guys too.  I told her maybe the cows didn't realize dinner was over, so let's bake them a cake to eat after they took care of the bad guys so they wouldn't be hungry and they would have dessert, which means dinner is over.  She was very happy to go back to sleep and give the cows the cake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this doesn't work, I would have to advise that you go comfort her and leave her explaining that both she and you need your sleep.  Resist the urge to crawl into bed with her (that is what I would want to do) as that sets a bad precedent.  Hopefully she will let you go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2012-02-12T05:36:37.777" LastActivityDate="2012-02-12T05:36:37.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4217" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-02T15:50:47.050" Score="9" ViewCount="4568" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you deal with becoming short-tempered when dealing with a teenage step-daughter that's running her mouth? How do you cope with feeling overwhelmed, and how do you stay cool when hurtful things are being said? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got in my teen's face when I put my hands on her suddenly, on her head covering her ears, and told her to shut up. I just want to learn to stay cool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2207" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-02-02T16:08:06.590" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T15:15:28.453" Title="What are ways to stay calm when dealing with an argumentative teen as a step parent?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4217" CreationDate="2012-02-02T18:32:36.540" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all don't worry about being a step-parent, when she is with you she is your daughter.&#xA;Keeping your cool can be very hard, even with younger kids.&#xA;Use the steriotypical counting to ten, removing yourself from the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or you can concentrate on a calm voice and say you need to stop right now and we can continue the conversation later and then walk away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or you can talk to her when she is calm, and discuss her behavior and how she thinks you can get her to stop when she is upset and running her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or you can say, I love you however I can not be around you when you are behavior is like this, I am going to leave now and when you can talk to me civilly I am happy to talk with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These might seem like things that won't work, but if you are consistent, to the point of using the same phrase/sentences every time, they will sink in.  she is a teenager, so she my not stop the behavior however you will feel in control if you have a plan of attack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-02T18:32:36.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4181" CreationDate="2012-02-03T03:34:15.177" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the child. Our first one would get a rash from normal detergent, so we had to hand wash her clothes in Lux soap flakes (it clogs up washing machines). Very annoying. Our son had no such problems, so we used Amolin detergent which claims to be for sensitive skin. Luckily, our daughter can now handle Amolin so everything can be washed together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-02-03T03:34:15.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4217" CreationDate="2012-02-03T12:06:55.827" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you should improve your &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;emotional intelligence&lt;/a&gt;. It will change your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally love the &lt;a href=&quot;http://danielgoleman.info/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Daniel Goleman&lt;/a&gt; model:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Self-awareness&lt;/strong&gt; – the ability to read one's emotions and recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Self-management&lt;/strong&gt; – involves controlling one's emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Social awareness&lt;/strong&gt; – the ability to sense, understand, and react to others' emotions while comprehending social networks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Relationship management&lt;/strong&gt; – the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others while managing conflict.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get this book:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GHsga.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Emotional Intelligence&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1408806169&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Daniel-Goleman/dp/1408806169/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1328270759&amp;amp;sr=8-1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2003" LastActivityDate="2012-02-03T12:06:55.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4214" CreationDate="2012-02-03T13:23:03.983" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are in the middle of a similar situation with our three-year-old, where she is scared of the dark and it's impacting going to sleep.  Two things seem to be working: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(1) Since she's mentioned being scared of monsters hiding in the dark, we let a cat (we have quite a few ;&gt; ) in her room to 'check things out.'  Turns out that monsters don't come into houses that have cats!  (This strategy could be adjusted for almost any creature or familiar object that is in your house: a teddy bear (bears are very tough), a toy car (can patrol the house); even the fish can splash around and scare away monsters).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(2)  We also use an app on our phones and iPad to give out stars for good behavior (and remove them for bad behavior). She saves up the stars to redeem for rewards, like video game time or a new toy.  One of her current goals is to go to bed without a fuss (doesn't help with the middle of the night wakeups directly, but it does seem she sleeps better on the nights she goes to bed without a fuss).  This weekend we're hitting the Disney store for a new car; she's saved up enough stars over a few weeks to get one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2012-02-03T13:23:03.983" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4194" CreationDate="2012-02-04T11:21:03.690" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer for overactive and slightly aggressive children when with my daughter and others is to invent an energetic game and channel some of that energy. This is great when you have a largish open space and room to run about without restriction - I try to balance keeping my daughter under control (she is generally quite well behaved) and giving her opportunities to run free and have fun somewhere where ti wont bug anybody. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that children need to have an outlet, somewhere to run wild, otherwise they will always in many subtle little ways, be trying to find such a release, and are likely to be like a bull in a china shop where it comes out and isn't appropriate or safe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that if my kid doesn't get out a bit every day - to her nursery, to the park, to somewhere bigger than our home, she will get increasingly cranky and hard to control. Give her some place to run it off and make a load of noise and movement, and she is as sweet as pie. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids generally look forward to playing with us - me and my daughter that is, because when I am doing the quality time thing - I make sure they get to have bags of energetic fun. Perhaps even Paul Clines kid can be redirected this way, and not be head butting or wrestling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One simple game for under 4's - find a set of picture flash cards, dominoes, lego bricks or any other toy that is bright, flashy and there are many of them, ask the child to take one, run to the other end of the room, touch the wall with it and leave it there, and then try to come back and tell you what it was - they then get to have another - they can do this for hours, and be quite competitive about it. ANd yes - you will have to collect the small pile of cards/bricks/dominoes at the end of the game, unless you can make a game of them bringing it back (my daughter will sometimes play along with that too!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1660" LastActivityDate="2012-02-04T11:21:03.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4214" CreationDate="2012-02-04T11:41:02.050" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you got an established bedtime routine? My daughter was difficult until she learned key phrases &quot;8 o clock&quot; - &quot;bedtime&quot; - and &quot;sleep sleep milk milk&quot; or &quot;bed bed&quot;. Sometimes if she is ill, or overexcited there may be protest, but normally she will walk to her bedside herself. Myself or mummy tuck her in, give her the tous (saying there names), and she will cuddle them, and she gets a cup (non spill) of warm milk. Generally, she will then say goodnight to us (we say it back), and then she will be gone when the milk is finished. We turn lights off after she is sound asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes when she is overexcited and protesting, then letting her jump around a bit, then calming her down with a story will help a long way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she is ill, it can be difficult to get her to sleep, as she normally wont be able to drink milk (she wont keep it down). We give her Calpol (baby/toddle paracetamol) and soothe her as much as we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having an enjoyable routine seemed to be the key for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1660" LastActivityDate="2012-02-04T11:41:02.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4083" CreationDate="2012-02-06T16:32:03.230" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a set of almost 2 year old twins and here is a list of what worked best for us when they were starting out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Alternate bites&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We mix up one bowl of the food we are going to spoon feed them and alternate bites.  I had them in high chairs next to each other and sat in front of them so I could reach each one at any time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Finger foods&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found that having some kind of finger food on the tray at the same time worked the best.  It meant that each boy would eat a piece of finger food while waiting for his cereal/yogurt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let them feed themselves&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We allowed our boys to eat grown up food from almost day one.  We didn't want them to expect us to feed them each and every bite.  At each meal I made sure that there was something on the table that they could eat. I used some of the tenants of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyledweaning.com/some-tips-to-get-you-started/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby led weaning&lt;/a&gt;.  The only thing that we spoon fed them was yogurt, cereal, and soups and we would help them get the rest of the food to their mouths when they had trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2012-02-06T16:32:03.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4081" CreationDate="2012-02-06T16:38:39.287" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also used oatmeal early on instead of rice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We introduced avocados mixed with bananas as one of the first foods.  My boys loved it.  They ate it every day for lunch for almost a year and a half.  Even now they love it as a treat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2012-02-06T16:38:39.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4209" CreationDate="2012-02-06T18:09:48.610" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing you can do is encourage her to have a &lt;strong&gt;safe place to fail&lt;/strong&gt;. I'm guessing that she normally does very well in stuff, and when you're used to success, you tend to fear failure more. It takes years to learn that you learn more from failure than success, and even then, it never feels &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment she's dealing with &quot;potential failure&quot;, which is much harder to deal with, and much more destructive than actual failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have her do one performance of her part, just for you, as badly as she fears she'll do it, and as if everything's going wrong around her. During the performance, either play the bad actors around her, or as you would if you were actually in the audience. Make it into a bit of a game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, get her to write down what she's scared will happen, not so you can look at it, but so it's out there where she can see it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she's done, make sure she's okay, and hopefully it'll show her that what she's fearing isn't as bad as the desperate situation she's built up in her head. As Torben and Rory have said, make sure she's able to have fun, even if it's not perfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, make sure she understands that even if it goes as wrong as possible, no-one will blame her, no-one will be upset or annoyed, and you'll be there to provide ice-cream and films.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-02-06T18:09:48.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4230" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4231" CreationDate="2012-02-07T10:20:46.523" Score="5" ViewCount="3358" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know Russian, Ukrainian and English, my husband knows only English. We are going to teach our son Russian besides English (English is a dominant language where we live). But I wonder would it be worth the effort to try to teach him Ukrainian as well? &#xA;I have read articles on multilingual kids, but all the languages that they are learning are not similar. Where Russian and Ukrainian are different languages, but are closely related to each other.&#xA;I am afraid that my son (9 months old now) will confuse these two languages. I understand that there may be some confusion with either languages. But I would not like him to eventually be speaking neither proper Russian or Ukrainian but Russian-Ukrainian dialect. &#xA;Theoretically it should not be difficult for him to pick up Ukrainian when he knows Russian. &#xA;Are there any parents that are raising trilingual kids with two similar languages? And if there are, what are you doing to teach them both languages. &#xA;I was thinking of using one parent - one language method (or in my case mom - two languages and dad - one language). But I was going to switch languages (Russian and Ukrainian) every other day. It will also be more effort from my side to create Ukrainian environment around him. As there are no Ukrainian speaking playgroups where we live and I do not know anyone who speaks Ukrainian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2224" LastEditorUserId="807" LastEditDate="2012-02-09T22:28:40.203" LastActivityDate="2021-01-18T18:14:25.297" Title="Will it confuse my son if I try to teach him 3 languages, two of which are very close to each other (Russian and Ukrainian)?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4230" CreationDate="2012-02-07T13:27:45.093" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I was thinking of using one parent - one language method (or in my case mom - two languages and dad - one language). But I was going to switch languages (Russian and Ukrainian) every other day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My gut feeling is that this would just confuse him. IMHO it is better to stick with one language per person, for at least the first few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It will also be more effort from my side to create Ukrainian environment around him. As there are no Ukrainian speaking playgroups where we live and I do not know anyone who speaks Ukrainian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is the bigger problem. If you are the only one to speak Ukrainian with, it will require an extra effort from you to keep up the Ukrainian language environment &lt;em&gt;on top of the Russian one&lt;/em&gt;. And as soon as you stop doing that, his Ukrainian knowledge will fade away. (Of course it may be refreshed sometime later in his life, if he gets into a proper Ukrainian environment... but then again, as you note, he will be able to learn Ukrainian solely based on his Russian as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming there are enough Russian speaking families around to maintain a steady Russian language environment, I would focus on teaching Russian to him, and - depending on how things go - introduce Ukrainian a few years later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-02-07T13:34:06.163" LastActivityDate="2012-02-07T13:34:06.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4081" CreationDate="2012-02-07T14:26:55.820" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Eating off a spoon has to be an unusual experience for them.  I imagine that many times you have taken things away from the children that they have tried to put in their mouths, so it must be terribly confusing until they get the hang of the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, the thing that kids do best of all is mimic.  So for sure try other foodstuffs, purified fruit/veg/different cerials etc, but importantly let them see you eating from the spoon too.  This has the added benefit of not giving the children things to eat that you wouldn't touch.  If you think it tastes bad, imagine what it might taste like to someone with developing tastebuds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, consider the actual spoon, make sure it's not cold like a metal spoon from a drawer, the soft touch silicone ones are handy, and give them one to play with while you feed them with another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2199" LastActivityDate="2012-02-07T14:26:55.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4217" CreationDate="2012-02-07T14:53:07.423" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teenagers are difficult, stroppy and will push the boundaries.&lt;/strong&gt; This is what they do. It is a natural part of their growing up and stretching their wings. No matter who you are and how good a step parent you are, they will say things to try to hurt you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step is to accept and even expect that this will happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the heat of the moment do not take what they say to heart. This will allow you to separate what they say from your conditioned emotional response. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later on when things are calmer it will be useful to reflect on what was said. Talk things through with them and work on fixing any underlying problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things do get more complicated when you are a step-parent.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A big part of feeling overwhelmed comes from a feeling of powerlessness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child may feel like you are an outsider and not fully respect your authority. (A teenager will rarely respect their real parents authority, let alone a step parents.) Also you may feel like an outsider and that you do not have the authority over the child. The child will sense this and will make the most of it! Kids have an uncanny ability to seek out your weaknesses and exploit them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is vital that you discuss this with the real parents. You need to get their agreement as to what the boundaries are for how far you can go in disciplining them. Ideally you should have as much authority as the parents - but this is up to the parents, and is something that develops over time. If you have only been on the scene for a couple of months you will probably not have as much authority as you would after six years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, regardless of how much authority you have over the children, you do need the parents support. If you don't have the authority to ground the child for a year, when discussing the problem with the parents it is important that they take the child's bad behaviour seriously and take steps to discipline the children themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child needs to know that there will be consequences from disrespecting you, either from yourself, or from her parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is worth bearing in mind that a reaction is exactly what the teenager is trying to get. The reason she is coming out with these hurtful things are because she wants you to get mad. She is testing the boundaries, trying to find out how far she can push you. An angry response is considered a win. Respond with calm authority and she will get bored much quicker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastEditorUserId="1020" LastEditDate="2012-02-07T15:09:54.297" LastActivityDate="2012-02-07T15:09:54.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4175" CreationDate="2012-02-08T13:26:41.220" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to Karl's point, most people have a reaction to vaccines. It is just more worrying when it is a child as it can be so difficult to gauge seriousness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Common reactions, as j.rightly said, include fever, loss of appetite, and being tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anything else happens, call the doctor - but also, call them if you are worried at all by anything out of the ordinary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially if this is your first child it can just be very tricky to know what is serious, so take the safer route.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-02-08T13:37:18.780" LastActivityDate="2012-02-08T13:37:18.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4237" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-08T21:17:43.170" Score="3" ViewCount="556" Body="&lt;p&gt;while &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2607/is-there-any-consensus-among-researchers-concerning-the-effects-of-watching-tele&quot;&gt;watching TV may not be the ideal activity for our children&lt;/a&gt; sometimes it is acceptable trade off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help me find some legal online resources of quality cartoons for toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case: language English, country UK, 1.5 year old happy toddler&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2232" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T01:26:58.657" Title="Online resources of quality cartoons for toddler" Tags="|toddler|television|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4237" CreationDate="2012-02-08T21:51:57.167" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on where you are, the BBC provide Children's BBC shows online (at &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/&quot;&gt;CBeebies&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; level for infants and &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/&quot;&gt;CBBC&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; for older children) along with activities, games etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These may not be available outside the UK, I'm honestly not sure, but give them a try. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-02-08T21:51:57.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4239" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-09T00:34:33.750" Score="3" ViewCount="17458" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4 month old. She has pretty good head/neck control. She just barely fits into our stroller. Is there a general guideline of when an infant can sit in a regular stroller based on certain developmental requirements for the spine?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only reason why I ask is that the instructions for our other gear, our baby carrier, says this...(sorry for the long quote)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Before the XYZ Carrier attained the popularity it now enjoys, it was thought that slings were a better alternative to the outward facing carrier, in the sense that there was no pressure put on the developing spine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This is due to the fact that the baby is in more of a horizontal position in the sling, &#xA;  rather than suspended by the crotch with legs dangling and pressure put on the developing sacrum at the base of the spine.  At birth the spine is shaped like the letter C, as it was in the womb.  As the spine develops it acquires secondary curves in the base of the spine and the neck.  These secondary curves begin developing from birth.  According to Rochelle Casses in her paper entitled “Infants and Spinal Stress”: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“A baby's spine is placed in a compromising position in many of today's popular carriers. If the carrier positions the infant upright, with the legs hanging down and the bodyweight supported at the base of the baby's spine (i.e. at the crotch), it puts undue stress on the spine which can adversely affect the development of the spinal curves and, in some cases, cause spondylolisthesis.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The XYZ Carrier used with the infant insert  address these very issues.  In the XYZ &#xA;  Carrier the baby faces towards the babywearer with the back, sacrum and legs supported in an upright position.  The infant insert  has a bottom support cushion that is designed to support the natural curvature of a baby’s spine by encouraging a slight forward-leaning position with the pelvis tilted forward.  There is also padding to support the back along the length of the spine.  The position of the infant in the infant insert is exactly the position that a baby would be in if carried with its bottom supported by both hands and the head resting in the chest with legs tucked-up and, if the infant is old enough, straddling the waist.  An update from the editor of a new edition of the above quoted paper validates XYZ's new design:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;UPDATE: This article was written in the 1990s when the all of the popular upright baby carrier designs had the harmful characteristics described below. Today, several new and improved upright carrier designs are available. The gold standard for carrying your baby should be your own arms. In other words, an upright carrier should hold your baby the way your arms would, e.g., facing you with legs in a frog-like, spread-squat position with the baby's weight supported across the buttocks and thighs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her position in the stroller is not as reclined as when she sits in her car seat. One thing that I can do is to recline the stroller back to match the recline position of the car seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess a similar question goes for the car seat...is the position ok for the development of the baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T17:13:51.550" Title="Is it okay for an infant to sit in a regular stroller? Does position matter?" Tags="|development|stroller|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="146" CreationDate="2012-02-09T05:13:47.630" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best solution we've found yet is that the grands and great grands aren't allowed to skip the consequences either. No bungee-cord (grand)parenting allowed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;If grandma and grandpa want to give you that giant plastic castle play set, then it can stay at their house so you can play with it when you visit&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;IF grandma is going to let you skip the nap and eat a pixy stick before dinner, then she can put you to bed tonight... maybe you could sleep over with them tonight.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worked pretty well so far. Thankfully our parents are pretty sensible and caught on quickly with just a couple conversations like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="57" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T05:13:47.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4241" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4262" CreationDate="2012-02-09T07:38:53.500" Score="6" ViewCount="628" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was having lunch with my 3 y.o. daughter today, and some threatening-looking types start having lunch there also (one looked like he was on drugs).  This is solely based on their appearance; they never bothered us in any way, and for all I know, they could be lovely people once you get to know them.  Nevertheless, I felt a strong desire to leave, without drawing attention to us in any way (i.e. I didn't want to make it seem like I was uncomfortable with them around my daughter).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I know that if I would have attempted to leave prematurely, my daughter would likely have protested, which would have drawn attention to us (she was enjoying her meal, and was completely oblivious to any of my perceived threats).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question&lt;/strong&gt;: How can I explain to my toddler about these situations?  How can I ensure that we can quickly and quietly leave in these situations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1524" LastActivityDate="2013-03-05T00:45:57.590" Title="How can I get my toddler to exit discreetly when threatening-looking people are around?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4242" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-09T08:36:42.507" Score="4" ViewCount="1229" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel that my kids, after some persuasion, are capable when it comes to schoolwork, homework and other such skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always identified good behaviour and let our son know when he has done something goood or bad. I have seen that he responds this and it improves his behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I worry that these days schools focus on technical skills, advanced courses, and general good behaviour. However, they tend to pay less attention to being humble. How do children learn humility? Or is this something that can only be taught through experience? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1770" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-02-09T10:22:59.863" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T18:03:23.010" Title="How do you teach children &quot;Humility&quot;?" Tags="|pre-schooler|social-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4242" CreationDate="2012-02-09T09:51:40.140" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;IMHO this is one of the things you can't &lt;em&gt;teach&lt;/em&gt; to your children - you can only &lt;em&gt;live&lt;/em&gt; it. You are a role model for your kids (up to a certain age). If you are genuinely humble, they will internalize that. Even though they may behave differently (or even the completely opposite way) during their adolescent years, to explore their boundaries and &quot;free&quot; themselves, they will most likely return to the fundamental values as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T09:51:40.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4242" CreationDate="2012-02-09T10:17:24.147" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on what you mean by humility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The definition I'm using here is basically &quot;&lt;strong&gt;respect for the abilities of others and willingness to accept that just because you aren't good at something doesn't mean it's worthless&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;. This distinguishes from related qualities such as obedience, and allows them to still recognise their own strengths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you've identified, this is normally more of an issue among children who are used to excelling in the fields that are valued within their social groups or authority structures, which can lead them to dismiss those values. (For example, intellectuals who dismiss the tremendous amount of work it takes to become genuinely good at sport, and vice versa). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, school is designed to emphasise and test two particular measurable skill sets (intellectual and sporting), and in some cases, streams those who excel in those fields, so that they focus on their strong area, and avoid their weaker areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that can help is to get your kids more involved in &lt;strong&gt;co-operative team activities&lt;/strong&gt; that require &lt;strong&gt;many different skill sets&lt;/strong&gt;, such as volunteering or drama. This allows them to demonstrate their own competencies, but also exposes them to people who have focused on something completely different, that is nevertheless valuable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-02-09T10:27:11.857" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T10:27:11.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4241" CreationDate="2012-02-09T11:05:40.123" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Argh, this is a tricky one. On the one hand, you want to protect your child. On the other, if they are looking for trouble, you'd provide them with the perfect excuse. Also, your concerns turned out to be unfounded, so all you'd have done is cause more distrust of strangers, which can be dangerous in and of itself (your child not being willing to ask for help when lost, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, you now have an example to talk with your child about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Did you notice those three men in the restaurant? Well, I was worried they might be angry, so I wanted to leave. Now, if I do feel like that, I need you to come with me quietly so that we don't annoy them, because angry people sometimes do bad things.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, if the men actually &lt;em&gt;DO&lt;/em&gt; anything that worries you, you just get up, take your child and say &quot;We need to leave, come on.&quot; Explain once you're out of the place. Bottom line, if they are threatening in any way, then you're going to be uncomfortable &lt;em&gt;anyway&lt;/em&gt;. Better to be uncomfortable somewhere else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the real issue was that you were in a place where 3 seedy-looking blokes came in, and their presence dominated the place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There are places to eat out that specifically cater towards kids&lt;/strong&gt;. Children's Theatres, Parks, Nurseries all either provide places to eat, or are very near places to eat. The more young families that are around, the less likely that people who will cause trouble will come in, and the more likely it is that the management will ask them to leave if they do anything that might be construed as worrying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way of staying out of trouble is to avoid troublespots. Admittedly, this is far, &lt;em&gt;far&lt;/em&gt; easier said than done, but it's probably the best solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-02-09T19:17:01.360" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T19:17:01.360" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4241" CreationDate="2012-02-09T12:05:13.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At risk of sounding contrary, it sounds like there may be an element of looking at your perception to see if it is appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general I would always err on the side of &quot;people are good&quot; - this is far more true than not, no matter what they look like. So teaching your child to avoid someone who looks a bit rough can give quite a negative outlook on diversity, acceptance and understanding. It's better to be able to discuss why some people like purple hair, some have tattoos, etc. and when your child is older you may need to have the conversation around why some people swear all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, you can minimise issues - you wouldn't take your child to a strip bar, for example - the entertainment and conversation would not be appropriate. You can do the same with restaurants etc - some will be very child friendly, some may be the kind of place you'd expect a fight. Plan ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;tl;dr -&lt;/strong&gt; don't concentrate on unfounded fears based on appearance - minimise risks by planning where to eat etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T12:05:13.340" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4239" CreationDate="2012-02-09T13:26:51.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had (have) very tall children so they always seemed to outgrow carseats and therefore carseat strollers very early.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I spoke (speak) to the pediatrician before I make any changes in items like that (even with my fourth child, I still check with her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I know and understand, the carseat is a law mandated type of seat.  I got ride o the carseat carrier and bought a rear facing/front facing regular car seat to accommodate them after they outgrew the carrier.  For one of my children who was born in the summer and I therefore wanted to keep the carseat carrier longer so I wouldn't have the lengthy transfer to the stroller in the snow I bought an extra long carrier (I think it is Graco) so she was able to stay in it for longer (them my next two children got it).  That was great, however, it sounds like that is not an option at this point (maybe for your next child).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of stroller, it is primarily based on head control.  I would recommend reclining the seat as the baby will not need to look around anyway.  I found this transition hard as you no longer are looking at that yummy face when you are pushing the stroller, but this was my issue not my child's.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, though my research and having gone through this with 4 kids, I would recommend moving her.  If she is outgrowing the carseat you need to move her in the car for safety's sake.  But, as I mentioned, I always checked with my pediatrician as each child's development is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T13:26:51.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4241" CreationDate="2012-02-09T13:31:50.567" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to be careful not to teach your kids profiling.  I understand your fear, as that is what we learned as children, however, our kids don't have to learn that.  Depending on how old your child is you can talk about strangers in a safe home environment (they talk about this in most schools as well).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I am assuming you were in a safe resturaunt, and not that this is a guerentee for anything, it should make you feel more comfortable.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I think it is a horrible message when you let other people (in this case off putting people) control your life and your enjoyment.&#xA;I hear you that these people made you uncomfortable, but they obviously didn't make your daughter uncomfortable so there is no reason to leave, especially as your daughter was happy.  You could have sped her along if you really wanted to leave.  As well, even if your daughter made a fuss about leaving, this is normal and those people would not have assumed it was because of them unless you told your daughter that that was the reason you were leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T13:31:50.567" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4242" CreationDate="2012-02-09T15:11:01.140" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider is not focusing on how great they are at school, but rather focus on kindness and the like.  As well, don't talk about how smart your child is in front of them, if you are bragging about your child, so will your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have seen this in action, as my daughter who is well ahead of her class in both reading and math doesn't even think about it.  She is friends with everyone, no matter her level, and understands that everyone learns differently and at different speeds. On the other hand my nephew, who my sister is constently telling how smart he is, brags all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are humble your child will be humble.  It is difficult as you are so proud of your child you want to share, however, as you seem to realize, humility is more important. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T15:11:01.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4253" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-09T19:55:01.490" Score="3" ViewCount="144" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know anything about the different reading programs schools use?  For example, Reading A-Z; Phontess and Panella guided reading;  DIBELS; and others.&#xA;I am interested how to compare different schools that use these different programs.Does anyone know how they compare and the pros and cons of each (assuming the school implements the program properly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2013-10-10T09:01:49.257" Title="Reading Programs" Tags="|education|reading|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4230" CreationDate="2012-02-09T22:27:15.913" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For parents who are multilingual, speaking multiple languages does not confuse young children. They may use multiple languages to speak a sentence. Often their parents do as well. Generally, when they have words in one language but not the other they use the word they have. What may appear to be confusion is likely the same struggle with language acquisition children have in one language. Bilingualism tends to delay mastery of some components of each language; again likely due to the amount of language acquisition being accomplished rather than confusion between languages. Speak all the languages that you feel are important for your family to use; are important to your child's future. You will find it very difficult and possibly heartbreaking trying to teach a teenager a language that does not seem relevant to their lives.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To hedge my recommendations; most of the evidence is from bilingual homes but should apply to multilingual. Also, it should be pointed out that I am assuming that the parents are fluent in the languages they use. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some articles: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/eln1I&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parental Language Mixing&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/ywe67&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Early Bilingual Development&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-02-09T22:27:15.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4230" CreationDate="2012-02-10T01:55:40.280" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the same question for my pediatrician.  He stated that children typically take 18 to months to tie together 2 or more words.  When learning two languages children usually take a few more months but can tie together 2 words in both languages.  I told them that we plan to teach the baby 4+ languages and he said they wouldn't become confused and now is the best time to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2238" LastActivityDate="2012-02-10T01:55:40.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4237" CreationDate="2012-02-10T02:24:03.723" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We personally love the show &quot;Peep and the Big Wide World&quot; -- it encourages science and exploration for toddler age kids and up. Go to www.peepandthebigwideworld.com for free episodes, along with lots of learning games. Hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2240" LastActivityDate="2012-02-10T02:24:03.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4214" CreationDate="2012-02-10T02:33:41.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of GREAT advice here....just wanted to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do with our 3 year old son, based on what we read in an article, when he has a nightmare: we tell him, &quot;It's over now,&quot; as opposed to &quot;it was only a bad dream.&quot; Saying it was only a dream creates a barrier between the two of you -- the child isn't old enough to fully understand that you can take the FEAR seriously without taking the DREAM seriously. By saying it was only a dream makes it seem like you don't take the fear seriously either. However, by saying, &quot;It's over now,&quot; you're acknowledging the dream alongside the fear, and assuring them that no matter how bad it was, you have left the dream, the dream is over, so thus the reason to fear is gone too. It's basically taking the way the child connects the fear inextricably from the dream to your advantage. I usually also add, &quot;You woke up in a better place,&quot; and then describe he's in his room, with his real mommy and daddy, it's safe, he's got his lovey, etc. etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It works REALLY well with our son. He even said to me one time &quot;It's over now Mommy&quot; when I said I had a bad dream! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2240" LastActivityDate="2012-02-10T02:33:41.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4237" CreationDate="2012-02-10T07:25:13.883" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd agree that 1.5 is a bit young for watching much of anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does your solution absolutely &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to be online? I've had great fun buying DVDs of 70s and 80s children's series (and watching them with my kids!). The advantage is that they're often very short (5-10 minutes), self contained, and don't give rise to meltdowns when you stop them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea would be just pulling a few YouTube videos into a playlist, quite a few of those kids' programs are available &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDWk0BCeblQ&amp;amp;feature=related&quot;&gt;there&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also consider looking for things that aren't 'stories' - at 1.5 I think they'd benefit more from music - there are some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/user/hooplakidz&quot;&gt;really nice nursery rhyme&lt;/a&gt; videos on YouTube too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2012-02-10T07:25:13.883" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4237" CreationDate="2012-02-10T10:37:21.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids don't know what's boring, and what's not until we teach them.  In my opinion it is wrong to assume that kids should only watch programs specifically designed for kids.  As such assuming that only cartoons will do is just going to enforce a stereotype that we have invented.  Certainly as children get older they want to graduate onto things that they can understand, and this is where kids TV comes into it's own, but at age 18/24 months they will find just the sight of someone talking just as stimulating as a cartoon.  I have found that rolling news channels* have a mix of colour and enough different faces/voices to keep my child entertained, also documentaries, animal/wildlife programs, the odd music video too.  Quiz shows, daft as they sound are brilliant, they have loads of people, animated shiny/sparkly scoreboards and such, and they'll love to learn to clap and laugh when the audience does etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it has to be cartoons and online, then &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/tv/cbeebies/20120209&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cBeebies on BBC iPlayer&lt;/a&gt; is a good choice.  I personally like the recommendation by another user of kids DVDs, you can get stuff from when you were younger that your kids will enjoy as much as you did.  A friend bought &quot;Button Moon&quot; for her child and he loves it, plus they are much cheaper than some of the more modern programmes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Edit/Addition: This makes it sound like I sit them in front of SkyNews all day, I don't, but if they need 20 minutes downtime to mong then it might as well be something that I don't mind as well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2199" LastEditorUserId="2199" LastEditDate="2012-02-10T10:48:16.570" LastActivityDate="2012-02-10T10:48:16.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4260" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4263" CreationDate="2012-02-10T13:01:56.330" Score="11" ViewCount="57997" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old daughters is usually very good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in the last few months she has started to cry more and more each time she can't have something she wants. The odd thing is that it's something she didn't really used to do before... well, not as often anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I can think, nothing major changed in her life recently that could trigger this change of behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're currently trying to encourage her to stop crying for anything by giving her stars (10 stars = 1 small present) but I don't think it's making any difference&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tip much appreciated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1894" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-03-06T12:00:09.613" LastActivityDate="2018-01-11T16:03:34.907" Title="How to stop my 8 year old from crying every time she's frustrated?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|crying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4260" CreationDate="2012-02-10T13:44:27.493" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, you're the parent, but I must say it does &lt;em&gt;sound&lt;/em&gt; like something's changed: maybe just something you're not aware of. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some ideas off the top of my head:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increased tiredness (maybe by her body fighting off some virus?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Something not going well at school? Problems with teachers or 'friends'?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Something innocent that you didn't notice that has affected her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing is to try and talk it out of her, or see if she has some ideas why. It depends on the child who/when is best for doing that. With ours, it's snuggled up next to Mum just before falling asleep...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2012-02-10T13:44:27.493" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4241" CreationDate="2012-02-10T13:46:01.033" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I was in that situation, and my judgement was that it was time to leave, given all that has been said above about respecting diversity, not judging a book by its cover, etc, I would want to do it in a way that was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;quiet and unobtrusive&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;didn't scare the kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this situation I would probably make up some &lt;strong&gt;plausible but convincing&lt;/strong&gt; story such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;ooh, I though I just saw an icecream truck going by, lets go see, quick get in the car, I think it went that way.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or simply:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;who wants sweets!&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can explain afterwards if you feel the need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2012-02-10T13:46:01.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4260" CreationDate="2012-02-10T15:09:59.187" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Major peer pressure starts around 8 years old.  It is possible that she is asking for things that she feels she 'needs' to get along with her peers.  Talk about this with her (talk to the teacher first, to see what is happening in class).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she crying when she is frustrated about other things, other then not being able to have what she wants?  ie homework, school work, sharing, etc.&#xA;If that is also a problem she may be feeling more pressure at school (which you may not even see as a change simply because you don't see it).  Speak to the teacher about this as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, the best thing to do is model what you do when you are frustrated, both about not being able to have what you want and other frustrating experiences.  I have even staged experiences like that so that I can model the behavior. &#xA;Don't give in to the crying.  Calmly say something like, when you are done crying we can talk about why you are frustrated (give her the words for her emotion).  You may need to repeat this to her more than once.  I would also recommend, if the crying continues and it is disruptive (ie loud and distracting to the rest of the family) remove her from the room, explaining that we speak with words and when she is ready to use words you will discuss with her what the matter is.  In this way she will hopefully learn that words are more effective than tears (this has worked with all my kids) after she comes to you when she is done crying help her express herself by giving her the appropriate emotion words.  Show her lots of love and help to problem solve (WITHOUT giving in to what she wants).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-10T15:09:59.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4265" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6790" CreationDate="2012-02-11T00:23:55.147" Score="7" ViewCount="1709" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is very much looking forward to bringing our son to Disney.  He enjoys characters like Winnie the Pooh, and she wants to create that &quot;magical&quot; experience of pure joy when he meets his favorite characters in person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want this to be a memory that lasts him for a very long time, but before he gets &quot;too old&quot; to have that sense of wonder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the ideal age range for introducing a child to a Disney theme park?  Is there enough to justify the trip if he's too small for most of the rides?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-01-25T13:30:25.147" Title="When is the right age to bring my child to a Disney theme park?" Tags="|age-appropriate|travel|entertainment|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4265" CreationDate="2012-02-11T21:00:54.050" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We haven't been to a Disney park, but we have experienced the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.muumimaailma.fi/en/moomin_world&quot;&gt;Moomin World&lt;/a&gt; (in Finland) with our girls first time when they were 5.5 and 4, and it worked out perfectly. We could see they had a magical experience. I would say that children below 3-4 usually get tired too quickly to get much out of such a day trip, and sometime around 7 the magical era is over, the child starts to see the world differently. Our elder daughter is just turning 7 and there are signs of this change, so I wonder how she will like next summer's trip to the Moomins...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-02-11T21:00:54.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4265" CreationDate="2012-02-12T01:16:03.023" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had a lot of fun at 2, but my son wasn't able to handle it well at the same age. For him, Disney at age 5 was the best thing ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1488" LastActivityDate="2012-02-12T01:16:03.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4268" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4269" CreationDate="2012-02-12T10:21:54.010" Score="7" ViewCount="104664" Body="&lt;p&gt;After washing the bottles and associated parts in warm soapy water, we leave them on a drying rack to dry. Sometimes my wife will use the bottle even when there are a few drops of water remaining in the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this safe? Do we have to worry about bacteria being on the drops of water?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2013-04-20T16:23:36.317" Title="When drying baby bottles, do they have to be completely dry before using them for feeding?" Tags="|health|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4268" CreationDate="2012-02-12T11:19:39.023" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say it's completely safe so long as the bottles have been adequately rinsed to remove any detergent residue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will always be trace bacteria kicking around in many places, even if the bottle was clear, by the time you have assembled the cup and lid and teat etc together, and handled the formula container which last week was sat on a supermarket shelf etc etc, you will have transferred some more to it from your hands.  Kids need to be subjected to normal levels of stuff like this too build up their immune system, having everything sterilised is not necessarily a great idea so don't worry about it.  They will have access to much worse levels of bacteria every day through just normal handling by parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about it, maybe you drip dry and it can take a few hours to go totally dry etc, then consider something like microwave sterilisation instead, then as least the drips should be sterilised too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2199" LastActivityDate="2012-02-12T11:19:39.023" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4268" CreationDate="2012-02-12T12:11:00.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are safe to use the bottles as long as they have been properly sterilised. After washing your bottles you should either use a sterilising device of which there are many brands available. You can instead use the boiling technique where you must boil the bottles for at least 5 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are formula feeding your baby you may at this point mix up the formula right away which can be stored in the refrigerator for 24 hours, you may optionally prefer to only store the sterilised water into the bottles which do not need to be stored in the refrigerator and can be mixed when required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are breast feeding your baby you may store the bottles in the refrigerator after sterilising while empty, however there shouldn't be an excess of water residue within the bottles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2247" LastActivityDate="2012-02-12T12:11:00.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4271" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4275" CreationDate="2012-02-12T22:19:22.653" Score="9" ViewCount="989" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 30.5 weeks old, 14.5 weeks adjusted (he was a 24-weeker) and has started to get real fussy until we set him down in his swing or crib. It's not happening all the time, but it is increasing in frequency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he wasn't a preemie, I wouldn't be concerned.  And I'm not concerned now, but more curious to know if this is a developmental problem or an indicator of development issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;My son does participate in a NICU developmental follow-up clinic, so I will ask at his next appt. and add a new answer if there is any information not already present in existing answers.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="460" LastActivityDate="2012-02-13T14:08:23.367" Title="Should I be concerned with a infant (preemie) that doesn't want to be held?" Tags="|infant|development|premature|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2012-02-13T02:52:26.247" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes. We use them. With combination with love and logic. Once in 6 months you have to reach 3 and make anaother refresh-punishment. but the method worked fine for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2261" LastActivityDate="2012-02-13T02:52:26.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4271" CreationDate="2012-02-13T14:08:23.367" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing, as a matter of urgency, would be to rule out any medical conditions that may be developing for your son. Fussiness could be a sign that he is developing an infection or other condition that may be causing discomfort or pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have there been any other recent changes? Is your son feeding as normal? Is he pooing/peeing as normal? Has he had any recent fevers? Have there been any illnesses in the family?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is always worth getting a doctor to check over your baby. Preemies are more vulnerable than term babies and are more susceptible to a range of different conditions, particularly in the first few months. We rush our preemie to A&amp;amp;E at the first sign of anything strange and although we do feel a bit silly when most of the time they tell us she just has a little cold and it's nothing to worry about, I have certainly been grateful for the reassurance and the doctors do understand our anxiety after all our baby has been through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Medical conditions aside, premature babies do develop differently to term babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Term babies spend the third trimester in the womb, a quiet and dark place. Premature babies spend this in an incubator which is loud and bright. They have all sorts of invasive procedure performed on them regularly. This does affect the way their neural pathways develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A premature baby doesn't tolerate stimulation as well as a normal baby. They also find it harder to self-regulate their emotions. If there is too much going on for them it can be easy to become irritable and the child will find it harder to gain control over themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is easy to over-stimulate and harder to calm down afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is becoming fussy, it would be worth looking at the stimulation he is receiving. Is the environment bright and noisy with lots going on? It may be worth toning things down. Make the environment more simple, less bright colours and less to look at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What play time does the child get? Is it boisterous with lots of throwing around and activity? Perhaps tone it down, more gentle play and less activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This article gives more detailed information : &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nursingcenter.com/prodev/ce_article.asp?tid=1052680&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Understanding Neurodevelopmental Outcomes of Prematurity: Education Priorities for NICU Parents&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It advises a process of gently increasing a childs stimulation by :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parents may need additional support to learn to make sure that their&#xA;  infant is not overstimulated and to encourage quiet, awake, alert&#xA;  states in which mutual gaze and beginning contingent social&#xA;  interactions can occur. Parents can begin to gently &quot;play&quot; in&#xA;  face-to-face communication through singing, imitation of infant&#xA;  noises, and commenting on infant behaviors so that conversation is&#xA;  modeled. Repetition and routines of this kind are not boring for a&#xA;  child.51,52 Gradually increasing the complexity of the speech directed&#xA;  at the child in multiple contexts, engaging in rhyming games and&#xA;  repeating and rephrasing infant vocalizations will build language&#xA;  skills. In all of these interactions, the establishment of mutual&#xA;  gaze, shared attention, and turn taking are especially important. If a&#xA;  child does not begin to successfully engage in these behaviors,&#xA;  intervention services should be sought.53&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastActivityDate="2012-02-13T14:08:23.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4277" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-13T17:05:46.817" Score="4" ViewCount="4009" Body="&lt;p&gt;My ten-month-old daughter just got stick (seems like cold/flu). What's really strange for me is that she &lt;em&gt;holds her sneezes in&lt;/em&gt;. In fact, sometimes she's almost shaking from the exertion of holding her sneezes in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted that she has very mucousy sneezes, and that she doesn't like wiping her nose (which kid does?) -- but I'm a bit weirded out by her holding in the sneezes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't seem like something common in that age either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it simply amusing, or potentially problematic?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="151" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-14T20:47:51.410" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T02:39:22.017" Title="Should I be concerned that my infant holds her sneeze in?" Tags="|infant|sickness|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4279" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4322" CreationDate="2012-02-13T21:35:28.067" Score="3" ViewCount="432" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been instructed to take our 4 month old to a physical therapist to address torticollis and flat head.  In past visits to our pediatrician we were given stretches to do and have attempted to switch her head direction when sleeping, but apparently that wasn't effective enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this is not a specific question, but if you have experience with this condition, I would really like to hear about it.  How did your child react to the therapy?  How long did the therapy go on for?  How did it affect your child's long-term physical development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2271" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T15:32:29.723" Title="Torticollis: what should we expect?" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2012-02-14T02:01:33.213" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have taught and met many, many homeschooled children.  Many of them I have found to be incredibly intelligent, polite, and socially well-rounded.  I have met a few who are lacking in one or more of these areas, though I have found this to be due to negligence on the part of the parent.  Should you decide to homeschool, I believe that you have to make social development as much of a priority as their academic development.  Many larger cities have excellent homeschooling communities that provide wonderful support systems for homeschooling families.  Additionally, enrolling your child in community sports and/or lessons or local organizations that interest him will certainly provide ample social stimulation.&#xA;Having said that, perhaps a &quot;traditional&quot; school is simply not the best place for your son.  A Montessori or Waldorf education might be a more challenging fit for him and provide the flexibility and social development that you are searching for.  If he likes the school, his teacher, and his friends, perhaps working directly with his teacher yourself to find new ways to challenge him could work as well.  Surely his teacher isn't oblivious to the fact that your son is more advanced than the rest of his classmates.&#xA;Finally, it might be worth your while to see if your local public school district has any STEM schools or academies or charter schools.  Some of these schools can be very challenging, but you need to really do your research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some links that might help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.montessori.edu/refs.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Montessori Schools&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.waldorfanswers.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Waldorf Schools&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also try looking up information on Unschooling or Natural Learning/Independent Learning/Experience-Based Learning.  These all fall under the umbrella of homeschooling, but it's a much more focused movement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T02:01:33.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4253" CreationDate="2012-02-14T03:07:58.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not an elementary school teacher and I don't know all that much about teaching reading skills to elementary age children.  However, I did find this link:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mff.org/pubs/ME279.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; which is a report by the Milken Family Foundation which does educational and medical research apparently.  An interesting point they make in their report is that there are four key points that have been identified as being a necessary part of the reading curriculum for reading proficiency by the end of first and second grade.  They are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;phonological awareness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;letter identification&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;vocabulary development&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the ability to recall and retell sentences and stories (comprehension)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Glancing at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.readinga-z.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Reading A-Z&lt;/a&gt; website shows that their particular curriculum supports all these points.  I can't find anything called Phontess and Panella, but I can find Fountess and Pinell Leveled Books.  Their website is very wordy, but tells me next to nothing about what specific skills are focused on in their system.  DIBELS (Dynamic Indicators of Basic Early Literacy Skills) appears to be more of a measurement system used in conjunction with the school-selected reading program to measure the &quot;Big Ideas&quot; in early literacy (see list above) and ensure students are reaching their literacy milestones.  The Milken Family Foundation study might be a good place to start.  I didn't see any of the specific programs that you mentioned listed in the study, but it includes a lot of good information on other research that has been done on literacy and it assesses some other reading programs used in the United States.  It at least seems like a good starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-02-14T03:16:21.283" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T03:16:21.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4265" CreationDate="2012-02-14T03:35:01.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My (then) three year old daughter loved watching the Wiggles on tv (and video - over and over and over!) so we thought a trip to see their live stage show would be a good treat.  Wrong!  She was terrified of the life-size costumes (Henry, Dorothy) to the point where I took her out.  We peeked back in the door when it was just the Wiggles (people) onstage, but she didn't want to go back in.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's 16 now, and I don't think she shows too many lasting signs of this early trauma (apart from the twitch when she hears &lt;a href=&quot;http://youtu.be/woYuBhkIlK0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Big Red Car&lt;/a&gt;).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1897" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T03:35:01.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2916" CreationDate="2012-02-14T14:43:36.930" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an interesting question!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the answer is as least two-fold:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I think parents today have to really make sure that the requested action is age-appropriate and provide the proper support to the child.  In the case of teeth-brushing, our local news did a story a few months ago about pediatric dentistry and one of the dentists they interviewed pointed out that a child really lacks the manual dexterity to properly brush his/her teeth until they are close to six or seven.  This, of course, doesn't mean that you shouldn't teach your child how to brush his/her teeth on his/her own, but it does mean that a parent should be supervising the brushing and ensuring the process is done and done properly, and if that means that you have to get in there and do it yourself then so be it.  Now, I know for a fact that my parents weren't brushing my teeth anymore at six years old, and I am also certain that they weren't supervising my efforts, either.  No wonder kids don't want to brush their teeth!  Not only is it boring, but it's hard and it makes you gag and you have to put this funny tasting stuff in your mouth--I mean, the only redeeming aspect of this whole process is getting to spit.  Likewise, it has been my experience that many things are more successful any time parents are involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for rewarding/punishing, I agree with Marie Hendrix.  While sometimes punishments are warranted, I would have to think that punishing should be kept to a minimum whereas rewarding should be done on a more frequent basis.  The last thing you want to do is to make the unpleasant mandatory task even more unpleasant than it is by constantly punishing your child when it doesn't get done or done correctly.  If a child refuses to brush his/her teeth simply because they are being defiant, that's a completely different situation than a child not wanting to brush his/her teeth because they are tired or need help or are just avoiding it because it's not fun and there's something else they'd rather do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T14:43:36.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4217" CreationDate="2012-02-14T15:15:28.453" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My own kids are still several years away from adolescence, but I have taught high schoolers for several years and they get just as mouthy with teachers as they do with parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Arguments escalate in a predictable manner, and I truly think that most teenage arguments stem from a desire for teenagers to be treated more like adults and less like children.  &lt;strong&gt;Teenagers think they are adults and want to be treated like adults&lt;/strong&gt;  On some levels, I can get behind this.  They're not adults; MOST teenagers don't have anything resembling adult responsibilities.  Adults know that teenagers aren't adults, but teenagers don't know that they aren't adults.  However, they do need to be given increased responsibilities as they grow older.  I would wager that you know the hot-button topics.  Maybe the arguments are about her desire to use the car or when she can talk on the phone or whatever.  The time to discuss the point is not the moment that she wants to leave the house with the car or when you come in the living room and see her on the phone for the fifth straight time when you know that she hasn't done her homework.  The time to discuss those problems is when everyone is calm BEFORE the situation arises.  You, her, and &lt;strong&gt;your spouse&lt;/strong&gt; need to sit down and set some ground-rules regarding these situations.  Draw up a contract about it.  If she wants to use the car, then a) She needs to give you two days notice to make sure that there are no other conflicting family plans that require its use.  b) Her homework needs to be done before she leaves the house.  c)  If she uses all the gasoline, she needs to re-fill the tank, or she is responsible for her own gasoline or something.  You can determine this on your own.  d)  She is going to be responsible for helping to maintain the car (washing it, taking it to get the oil changed, etc.)  There should be room for some negotiation in this so that she feels like her opinions are expressed and can agree to the terms set forth.  If she fails to meet the requirements of the contract, she can't have the car or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't mean that all points of conflict are going to be eliminated.  There are still going to be arguments, but, when it comes to teenagers, I have learned to just walk away.  If I find myself becoming increasingly argumentative or angry over a situation, I walk away.  The reality is, by this point both the teenager and myself need to cool-off and re-establish effective communication between the hemispheres of our brains.  I calmly (as calmly as possible anyway), tell them that I am too angry to discuss the situation right this second and I need a few minutes to cool off and they should do the same.  Once we've had some time to calm down, then we can discuss the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your step-daughter is arguing with you just because you're not her biological parent, then it's clear that your spouse needs to handle her.  At that point, I would simply refuse to argue with her and say, &quot;You need to talk to your mother/father about that&quot; or &quot;We'll talk to your mom/dad when he/she gets home&quot; and walk away.  I don't want it to seem like your role as a parent is down-played, but determining the reason why she's arguing with you is really crucial, and if this is the reason then why bother arguing?  Don't get drawn into an argument that can't possibly have a positive outcome for anyone.  Better to focus on improving your relationship with her than further damaging it by having pointless arguments with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T15:15:28.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4286" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4289" CreationDate="2012-02-14T17:18:01.730" Score="6" ViewCount="635" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're leaning toward homebirth and we're interviewing midwives. What questions should we ask her? What factors matter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2279" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T21:19:50.527" Title="What are questions to ask when interviewing a midwife?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4286" CreationDate="2012-02-14T18:25:13.727" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This seems like an excellent resource for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://brucejordan.com/inspirationmidwifery/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Questions-to-Ask-Before-Hiring-a-Midwife.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Questions to Ask Before Hiring a MidWife&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Questions like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is she licensed (by your state/country/whatever)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are her credentials as a midwife (licensed midwife, certified nurse midwife, certified professional midwife.  Is she a member of any professional organizations)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How many years has she practiced?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How many births has she attended as a midwife?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Where does she do her prenatal visits?  Home?  Office?  Birthing center?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she have a consulting/backup obstetrician and who is it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are her views regarding labor and birth?  For example:  How will she monitor mother and baby?  How often will she monitor the baby?  Can you labor in water?  Can you birth in water?  Does she consider herself hands-on or hands-off and will she work with you to establish a birth plan?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is her rate of prenatal transfer?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will she stay with you if you have to transfer while in labor?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will she attend the birth or does it depend who is on-call?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How long does an appointment with her normally last?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How many babies is she personally delivering per month?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is she certified in neonatal resuscitation?  Does she carry oxygen to the birth?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What happens if she has two patients in labor at the same time?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has she ever missed a birth?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When will she come to you after you begin labor?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How long does she wait to cut the cord after birth?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What does she do if there is an emergency, such as a post-partum hemorrhage?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are her fees and what do they include?  What is her payment schedule?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What does she do if a mother goes past her due date?  What if she is approaching 42 weeks?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why did she become a midwife?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she participate in continuing education beyond what is required to maintain her license?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What does she expect regarding self-care during pregnancy?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is her view on nutrition and weight gain during pregnancy?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has she ever had to resuscitate a baby?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will she help with breastfeeding?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How does she feel about circumcision/immunization?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I get my baby's birth certificate/social security card/whatever?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How will my partner be included in my visits and during labor?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can my partner catch the baby?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she have a lending library?/Can she recommend any books to read?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How is she contacted?  Do patients contact her via cell phone, pager, etc.?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she have student midwives in her practice?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I think it's important that you and your wife be able to clearly and concisely discuss your own personal &quot;birth plan&quot; for lack of a better word.  Some people want their midwife/doctor to be much more hands-on, and some people want their midwife/doctor to be more hands-off.  One question I don't see on the list that I would want to know if I were hiring a midwife is Under what circumstances would she recommend a hospital birth rather than a homebirth?  That way if, say, your baby is breech you won't be blind-sided when your midwife suddenly recommends a hospital birth.  It can be very difficult emotionally when you have this idea of a birth plan that suddenly and unexpectedly gets changed due to circumstances beyond your control, so knowing her policies on high-risk pregnancies, emergency c-sections, and other unexpected events during pregnancy can lay the foundation for the &quot;what-ifs&quot;.  She can also be a great resource for parenting, Lamaze, and breastfeeding classes and support groups so don't forget to ask about that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congratulations to you both!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-02-14T21:19:50.527" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T21:19:50.527" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2012-02-14T18:52:51.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son had an amazing vocabulary at 14 months, including the words Mama and Dada (Dada came first, for the record) and tons of other words.  I have no idea how that happened.  My daughter, on the other hand, is 18 months old and JUST started saying Mama.  She's said Dada for ages and No and Get down and other words/phrases, but Mama literally just entered the list about 2 weeks ago.  My niece, who is the same age as my daughter, has a completely different set of words that she currently uses (she was saying &quot;baby&quot; at Christmas, but my daughter only recently added &quot;baby&quot; to her vocabulary).  I wholeheartedly agree that maybe showing your son some simple signs like &quot;Mommy&quot; might make the wait for the actual word more tolerable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T18:52:51.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4286" CreationDate="2012-02-14T19:36:30.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read, read, read about homebirth. The more you know about the process and possibilities, the more qualified you will be to review candidates.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After determining what you and your partner are looking for in a birth (excellent advice from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4287/44&quot;&gt;Meg&lt;/a&gt;), review your expectations of the birth with potentials to see how compatible it is with their style. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get references, and speak with the other parents. While any reference parents the midwife provides are likely to have a positive experience to report, the educational portion of this will be seeing if the midwife provides a birth experience similar to what you're looking for. Think of this as double checking the prior point.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What does she consider an acceptable delivery window - how early, how late, etc. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Question them about backup plans, assistants, etc -- Make sure the midwife you choose has a backup you can contact if she isn't available when the baby is ready. Ideally you should be able to meet the most likely backup midwife beforehand too, to make things more comfortable during delivery.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discuss transfers -- How often has she transferred to the hospital, in what situations does she do it, will she stay with you, does she have a good relationship with the local hospital, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How is she equipped/trained to deal with emergencies? Neonatal resuscitation, tearing or hemorrhaging, etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you can't forget the business end of things...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cost. Payment plan available?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What's bundled with the cost?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What do the parents need to contribute (supplies to purchase, for instance)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T19:36:30.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4277" CreationDate="2012-02-14T20:53:56.660" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might just be an interesting experience to her. She might have copied it from someone (many adults do that) and she wants to try it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Holding a sneeze in can be uncomfortable but I know several people who prefer that because they feel it's less uncomfortable than the alternative. To each their own. At her age, it's unlikely that you can deliberately teach her a specific way to sneeze.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the pressure of the sneeze has to go &lt;em&gt;somewhere&lt;/em&gt; and when it can't escape through the mouth then it finds other ways: the ears, sinuses, etc. &#xA;This re-routing could potentially push mucus into areas, and I imagine that it could cause infections there. If you're concerned about this, please ask your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T20:53:56.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4268" CreationDate="2012-02-14T21:01:14.810" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the age of your child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For infants, washing is not enough because they don't have adequate immune defense. Consider properly &lt;em&gt;sterilizing&lt;/em&gt; the bottles instead. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Older children have built up enough of an immune system to cope with unsterilized bottles, and I would not worry at all about the bottles being any degree of wet, as long as they're just wet with clean water and not soapy residue -- rinse the bottles in clean water after washing to ensure that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-14T21:01:14.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4292" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4305" CreationDate="2012-02-15T01:00:35.870" Score="14" ViewCount="193674" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11-month old daughter has, in the past week, become extremely fussy and at some meal times is refusing to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For breakfast, we usually give her weetbix/rice cereal with milk (warmed in the microwave) and she seems to enjoy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For lunch and dinner we have been offering her various things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pureed vegatables/lentils&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mince meat with vegetables/potato&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finger food (cauliflower, broccoli, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time she doesn't want to even open her mouth for the pureed/mince food, so it's not like she's tried and and doesn't like it (it's very tasty anyway, at least to our palate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With finger food she often puts a piece in her mouth and bites a bit off, but eventually she will just throw it on the floor and the dog will eat it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only foods she seems to enjoy at dinner time are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pieces of cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yoghurt&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But obviously we can't keep feeding her this all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is still breast-fed 3 times per day (and seems to eat a lot of milk this way), but always &lt;strong&gt;after&lt;/strong&gt; the solids so I don't think it's an issue with her being full.  Sometimes she just says &quot;mama&quot; while we're feeding her solids, reaching for my wife indicating that she wants a breast-feed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't seem to be showing any signs of pain (e.g. from teething), as far as we can see. She already has 6 teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're becoming worried about her -- hopefully it's just a phase, but any recommendations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1309" LastActivityDate="2018-04-03T13:18:18.097" Title="11-month old daughter suddenly refusing to eat lunch/dinner" Tags="|feeding|solids|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4265" CreationDate="2012-02-15T01:08:44.013" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We bought our daughter twice to Hong Kong Disneyland, when she was 5 and 7. She cannot remember her first trip anymore, but can still remember the second trip fondly. (She's now 9.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different children matures differently, but my daughter refused to go into Frontierland at 5 because it was decorated with the Pirates of Caribbean theme then. She was also very happy to be able to take the Space Mountain ride at 7 as she was tall enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2281" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T01:08:44.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4294" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-15T01:12:12.800" Score="6" ViewCount="543" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is now in Kindergarten, and next year she will switch schools.&#xA;I watched the movie &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waiting_for_%22Superman%22&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Waiting for &quot;Superman&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; and now I would like to know how  I can influence the selection of a teacher (e.g. so that she get a teacher who has been teaching there for a while and is experienced).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What are some strategies I could use to influence the decision about which teacher winds up teaching my child? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How are teachers normally assigned?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What are tracks and in which grade are they typically introduced - at level, below level, above level?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do schools try to mix the students so they end up with balanced groups,  or do they purposefully put poor performers/best performers into one group? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2261" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-02-17T18:57:36.030" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T21:39:08.190" Title="What are some effective strategies that I can take to get my first grade child in the highest quality teacher's classroom?" Tags="|primary-schooler|teacher|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4295" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-15T01:20:30.837" Score="8" ViewCount="465" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid goes to English public kindergarten and learns there to read and write in English. We live in USA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home we speak Czech and Czech words are read as written with different phonetics. How long should I wait (e.g., after she masters English reading) to introduce phonics rules of a second language? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where can I read about reading in your second language - how's and when's?&#xA;(or someone's experience?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2261" LastActivityDate="2014-07-18T09:09:27.147" Title="Reading in second language for a bilingual kid - how to approach a phonetic language vs. English phonics?" Tags="|primary-schooler|bilingual|reading|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4292" CreationDate="2012-02-15T01:23:48.897" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Eating can be a struggle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as she is above 5th percentile it is not huge concern. Or if she crossed 2 percentile lines (on the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/who_charts.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;growth chart&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had good luck with a can of mandarins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2261" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-03T13:18:18.097" LastActivityDate="2018-04-03T13:18:18.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4298" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4301" CreationDate="2012-02-15T01:33:54.340" Score="4" ViewCount="438" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost 6 years old and we live across from a park. Can I tell to her to play and check her only like every 5-10 minutes? I know the answer will be it depends on the kid, and the area, but I would really like to hear from older parents when did they start letting their kid play independently. e.g., at age 7 vs. 10 vs. 12.... definitely at some age it is quite OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2261" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T13:25:12.397" Title="When did you let your child play around your house unattended? (by herself)" Tags="|primary-schooler|play-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4298" CreationDate="2012-02-15T03:44:40.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer is heavily depends.  Several questions needs to be answered like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How safe is your area in general?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will she have anyone to play with in the park?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How likely are your neighbors to report you to the authorities?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you see her from your window or do you need to actually walk there?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you answer all of these you will have a better idea of whether or not to allow your daughter to play in the park.  When I was growing up we played alone starting at 6 but this was usually in groups.  Nowadays this in large part isn't the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2195" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T03:44:40.153" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4298" CreationDate="2012-02-15T08:14:52.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Germany, it is quite common that kids go to elementary school on their own, starting at the age of 6 or 7. Of course, this involves prior training on the way to preschool, and not too long and difficult ways.&#xA;But regarding the question if a 6-year-old can be left alone directly opposite the house for 10min, I think the comparison is clear.&#xA;Regarding the authorities: A German court decided recently, that the parents of a 6-year-old did not violate their obligatory supervision when he damaged a car with his bike while he was unattended, because he had been trained for 2 years and was generally driving safe.&#xA;If somebody reported parents of kids that were playing peacefully in a park next to their houses, he would be laughed at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to brag about my country, your country, but I see developments (here and according to media reports even more the USA, Karlson also implied that) that I don't think should be welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2282" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T08:14:52.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4298" CreationDate="2012-02-15T10:06:49.570" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We let our two eldest play together down the bottom of our garden (which is out of sight, but within a high fence) from the ages of 3 and 5, but didn't let them go up to the park until 8 and 6. It is about 5 minutes walk away, with only one minor road to cross, and is in full view of 8 or 9 houses, but we just felt that at that distance if something did happen (like one of them falling from a high climbing point etc) we couldn't get there in time to do anything useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now our eldest is 11 we do let him take our youngest (5 years old) along there unsupervised, but he takes along one of our mobile phones in case of emergencies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-02-15T13:25:12.397" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T13:25:12.397" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4298" CreationDate="2012-02-15T10:26:34.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the area is safe, I see no problem per se. I played by myself, for hours, at 6 (or even 5, I'm not entirely sure) years old in an area with block houses and no cars. Of course bad things can happen, but they can happen when you are 18 as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in the end it depends on the area and on your kid. Does the kid know to stay away from streets, trains, brooks, etc? Are there other people around, generally? Is the area safe? Are your kid generally reckless? Is the playground toys dangerous? What does your neighbors do and think (they may be wrong, but you probably don't want to alienate them), etc, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T10:26:34.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4303" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-15T11:59:19.097" Score="6" ViewCount="284" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are two German parents and we are living in an English speaking country. With our child - who just turned three - we speak German, whereas all other people (our friends, his friends, the kids in kindergarten) speak English. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are now moving back to Germany. What can we do, so that our child does not lose the ability to speak English, especially, if there are no native English-speakers around? Our English is rather faulty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2284" LastEditorUserId="2284" LastEditDate="2012-02-15T13:07:43.157" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T05:18:57.977" Title="Moving with our bilingual child" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|bilingual|moving|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4303" CreationDate="2012-02-15T13:38:40.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out age appropriate language courses, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lolli-pops.de/lollipops_englisch_fuer_kinder.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here is one example&lt;/a&gt; I found in my hometown Hamburg. Only one hour per week should be plenty to keep your child from forgetting what it has already learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just be careful to avoid groups that try to hammer as much knowledge into your child's brain while it is still too young to defend itself, they seem to be very common now in Germany :-P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T13:38:40.420" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4292" CreationDate="2012-02-15T13:43:32.707" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't worry, children will not starve!  Unless other wise directed by your doctor due to a medical condition, don't fight over food.  If she doesn't want to eat she won't.  I do not recommend giving her just what she wants, this may take on a life of its own and make you into a short order cook.  Unless you know for certain your child doesn't like what you are serving to the rest of the family that is what is for dinner, if she chooses not to eat it she will be hungry, a natural consequence.  Be very careful not to give her extra snacks after she does this, only serve snacks at snack time, as she needs the natural consequence to learn.  As well, you may want to start on more interesting foods.  If she has 6 teeth she can eat all kinds of things other than pureed food.  She may be revolting because she isn't getting the food you are eating.  As well, she is learning alot every day and may have alot on her mind and therefore is not interested in food (doesn't that happen to us all?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, don't make food a battle, trust her body and trust her.  As I said, she will not allow herself to starve, and if you start battling around food you are setting a bad trend which may last long into her toddler years, effecting her relationship with food in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T13:43:32.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4294" CreationDate="2012-02-15T13:59:56.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This varies from county to county within states, and even from school to school within school districts.  One of the most successful schools in the state I used to teach in purposely tracked kids once they left kindergarten and grouped them according to their academic performance.  Children who needed extra help, while they were moved forward, were placed in the same classroom together to ensure they were given the extra help they needed and their teacher was able to differentiate his/her instruction effectively.  The teacher assigned this class rotated each year so that the teacher avoided burn-out and so that the students never really knew which teacher was assigned the kids who needed that extra help who are so often labeled by other kids as &quot;stupid&quot; or &quot;dumb&quot;.  This continued certainly throughout elementary school, and the high school associated with school had a 99% graduation rate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that doesn't answer your questions.  You need to go to the school your child is zoned for and talk directly to the principal.  Call and schedule a meeting--don't just drop in.  Principals are extremely busy--especially during the school year--and you want to make sure that a) the principal is there when you arrive (and not at a meeting at another school or the central office, for example) and b) you have the principal's undivided attention for the time you're there.  You can ask things like, &quot;How long have your 1st grade teachers been teaching?&quot;.  If one's been teaching for 10 years and the other for 20, does it matter to you which teacher your daughter gets?  Also, ask things like, &quot;How long have they been teaching first grade?&quot;.  It isn't uncommon for elementary school teachers to teach several grades throughout their teaching careers and there is a huge difference between teaching a 5th grader and a 1st grader.  Ask what the typical school day is like.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing this will also give you an idea of the personality of the principal and the vibe of the school overall, and should allow you to express any concerns you have and ask any questions.  You may not be able to influence the decision of which class your daughter is placed in, but you should hopefully come away more comfortable with the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T13:59:56.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4307" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-15T14:07:41.870" Score="12" ViewCount="23705" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my kids have used the same teddy bear every night until they were 3 years old, so I have a special attachment for this particular toy and I would like to be able to preserve it for as long as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've thought about using a vacuum bag but I would like to read others' opinions or ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2285" LastEditorUserId="324" LastEditDate="2012-02-23T21:22:36.920" LastActivityDate="2020-08-06T13:22:37.557" Title="How can you preserve old teddy bear for eternity?" Tags="|toys|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4309" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4314" CreationDate="2012-02-15T14:52:05.877" Score="7" ViewCount="234" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been to most questions related &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/bilingual&quot;&gt;bilingual&lt;/a&gt; aspects where whether and how should one introduce more than one language to child. This helps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am trying to find a bit broader opinion as to what is the relationship between development of the kids with their earlier exposure to multiple languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For specific in our case as well with my child just turned 4. We are in India. We usually speak in Gujarati at home, but since we were migrated to Hindi and English has been common with other kids, play group as well. (Much less outside people spoke to him in Gujarati). He has been a very late speaker (started almost after 2 and half years). And he is more natural with Hindi than Gujarati (our family language); though he now does speak all three languages. So does it look like a case that multiple language confusion is the real reason for late language development? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is wanted to know is that if the situation persists, what are the likely areas of development (language, intellectual, reasoning, social or any other area) he could be lacking due to situation like this? Will he continue to lag further behind in development compared to other kids or will this not be a longer term issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any specific advise to ensure that multiple languages doesn't limit him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1770" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T16:07:13.737" Title="Relation of Multiple languages to (overall) development of child" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4310" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-15T15:03:57.670" Score="25" ViewCount="7090" Body="&lt;p&gt;With the availability of the internet and also the video mobile device (PSP, ...) our children will face pornography at an earlier age than we have. So I want to face this problem and explain things before they encounter this themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I really like when I explain new stuff to someone is making use of analogy. So here is my question : how can I explain the difference between love-making &amp;amp; porn-movie using an analogy that a kid can understand perfectly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS / FYI : My kids are 5, 11 &amp;amp; 13 year old. Two girls and a boy. I'm talking about the 2 older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2206" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2013-01-01T10:09:45.273" LastActivityDate="2013-06-10T11:32:19.810" Title="What would be a effective way to explain pornography?" Tags="|education|sex|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4292" CreationDate="2012-02-15T15:12:37.737" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think Marie Hendrix's answer to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2452/how-can-i-switch-an-exclusively-breastfed-1-year-old-to-food/&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; will offer you a lot of useful suggestions.  I have had a lot of luck getting my son to eat foods by following her advice and making eating more fun for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One trick that works more often than not is to take turns sharing the food.  If my son isn't eating something, I'll take some from his plate, and make a big show of looking at it, sniffing it, putting it in my mouth and chewing it, and then smiling at him while making exaggerated &quot;yummy&quot; noises.  I'll then offer him a piece of the same food, being sure to smile the whole time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another game is to bring the food close to his mouth, and then veer it away from him at the last minute a couple of times.  Sometimes this will convince him that he really does want to eat it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also very much enjoys putting food into my mouth, although he sometimes gets too focused on giving me the food and doesn't want to stop to eat it himself.  Other times we get into a good rhythm of alternating between us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe my son was a bit older than your daughter, but another trick that worked well was to introduce him to the idea of &quot;dipping&quot;.  For us it was chips and salsa, and he picked it up immediately.  Now he loves to dip a chip (or just about anything else... for a while it was bananas and salsa) into salsa or marinara sauce, although he has a tendency to suck the sauce off the chip and just keep using the same chip to eat the salsa.  Fortunately, salsa is actually a pretty good food, particularly if fresh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Morah about making sure to not turn it into a battle.  The key to success is to make eating a fun experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T15:12:37.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4310" CreationDate="2012-02-15T15:49:23.650" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;My immediate thought is that a sex movie is like any other movie:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;It's fake and make-believe, created only to provide entertainment to the viewer.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0125439/&quot;&gt;Notting Hill&lt;/a&gt; as an example. Just like in any other movie, the actors are paid to follow a script. They must perform actions and pretend to have emotions and reactions. Just because it &lt;em&gt;looks&lt;/em&gt; real in the movie does not mean that it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; real: for instance, you can be quite sure that there is no &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; love involved, it's just make-believe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being an actor is quite simply a profession. It doesn't matter what the movie is about; it's just fiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120737/&quot;&gt;epic fantasy movies&lt;/a&gt; and other people like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091763/&quot;&gt;war movies&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317219/&quot;&gt;cartoons&lt;/a&gt;. Some people like sex movies, and pornography is made for them You don't have to like porn, but you don't have to hate those folks either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T15:49:23.650" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4310" CreationDate="2012-02-15T15:54:16.610" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you need to do the whole birds and the bees talk.  You can't run before you can walk, and if a child hasn't received a suitable grounding in this then the rest will be a real problem to distinguish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the asumption that the purely biological process is understood by the child (not something I have done yet with mine, but that's a whole other question), then you need to move onto porn from there (assuming your child is of a suitable age that they have access to and understanding of how to use the internet and so on).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question from this point, I would say that you need to distinguish the act of lovemaking between 2 adults as a private activity between a couple, and the public activity of being filmed whilst engaging in it.  Make it clear that any films that they might see on the internet fall into the latter category, point out that in addition to the people being filmed there are more people sat in the same room actually doing the filming, often more than one person, so while it may look like you are watching two people engaging in a private act, you are not really, so it's not real life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a child friendly analagy, it's like going to the toilet: there are some things you don't share with other people, and certainly not strangers.  Anyone who does share pictures or film of them going to the toilet is not really being very nice, right?  Same with people having sex, you keep it between you and the other person, anyone who doesn't is just being weird too, it's equally not nice and equally shouldn't be shared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully you can convince your child that the people why might see doing this are not necessarily nice people, and try to turn them off their thinking it's titillating by making them think it's weird instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously an adult could pick holes in this, but hopefully a child won't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2199" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-02-16T09:04:56.470" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T09:04:56.470" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4309" CreationDate="2012-02-15T16:07:13.737" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you don't need to be concerned about lack of development, or slow development, in any areas due to being bilingual or even trilingual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are amazing at learning and discerning several languages. It is true that it is more common for multilingual children to start speaking later than monolingual children, but that is not always the case. Even when it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; the case, they catch up quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Intellect an reasoning:&lt;/strong&gt; The whole concept of handling several languages opens their minds in a way that you don't get with just one language -- as if they see the world in more colors than others. because of this, I would venture that multilingual children &lt;em&gt;perhaps&lt;/em&gt; develop their intellect a little better/faster than others. They can be more perceptive of details and nuances, and that can be of use in other disciplines such as mathematics or arts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Social:&lt;/strong&gt; In my experience, being able to speak several languages fluently can be perceived as &quot;elite&quot; by others, and that could have a negative social impact (or positive, depending on norms of the social circle!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Language:&lt;/strong&gt; In my experience, the exact skills that helped you tell &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; languages apart and use them deliberately can be used again and again, learning even more languages. This ability decreases with age, though: I learned my first four languages nearly automatically because I was young, but the languages I learned as a teenager or even adult were &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more difficult to learn! So this skill is something to take advantage of while it lasts!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T16:07:13.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4307" CreationDate="2012-02-15T16:18:48.170" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had several favorite stuffed animals, and they all got very worn over the years. My mother did her very best in cosmetic surgery and that certainly extended their lifetime significantly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in the end they all disintegrated, either because they were cuddled to death or because of that mice infestation in our garage back in the early 90's... By that time I was old enough to accept that nothing lasts forever, except the memories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking back on these beloved things, here's what I would recommend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start out with high quality teddy bears that can withstand a lot of wear.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensure access to skilled teddy surgeons. They might need to be creative at times.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help your child understand the transience of material objects. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help preserve fond memories.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a heartfelt farewell.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-23T10:15:53.267" LastActivityDate="2012-02-23T10:15:53.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4294" CreationDate="2012-02-15T18:31:12.907" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting the &quot;right&quot; teacher has be important. I remember reading a study (NYTimes but couldn't find it to cite) showing that a poor teacher will cover 6 months of work in a year but a great teacher will cover 18 month's work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, we will ask around the school to get an idea of who the good teachers are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our experience has been:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A teachers bad reputation can come from parents who didn't like&#xA;them. We had one teacher thought to be a dud who turned out really&#xA;well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teachers with lots of experience can be duds too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The set of kids in the class is at least as important as the teacher.&#xA;A good teacher may be assigned difficult students because they are&#xA;good. A few problem or slow children can suck up all the teacher's time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teachers come and go. You will get duds. You need to be actively involved in your child's education to make up the shortfall and to optimise their learning.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our school does not tell you who the teacher assigned is until the&#xA;last day of the year, presumably so the parents can not whinge about who you got. They will rarely change the assignment once announced.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our school rotates the teachers through different grades so you can&#xA;not necessarily guess who the teachers will be. Even the teachers do not know which grade they'll be teaching next year.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are 500+ kids at our school and every parent wants the good teachers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is in grade 5 in our local public school. In grade 3, we submitted a letter to the principal to ask for a specific teacher who we heard was very good. We got that teacher, but we had a 1/3 chance of getter her anyway so I have no idea if the letter worked. In grade 5, we submitted a letter asking for a teacher experienced in dealing with gifted children since the set of teachers for that year was not known. In this case we did not get the teacher we would have expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-02-15T18:31:12.907" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4295" CreationDate="2012-02-16T00:37:59.490" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem with introduction another language to any child is their own resistance.  If your child is as stubborn as mine she will resist learning another language tooth and nail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to introduce another language would be either before 3 or when they decide to stand out from the crowd because at this age the kids are looking for conformity and most try not to show their foreign background.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2195" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T00:37:59.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4295" CreationDate="2012-02-16T10:30:30.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I assume from your description that the child already speaks Czech, just can't read and write in Czech yet. In this case I guess you are reading Czech tales to her at home, from Czech books. I think that soon after she learns to read in English, she ought to get interested in reading those Czech tales too (Krtek rulez! :-), which gives you a natural opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our elder daughter is right now learning to read and write more or less parallelly in Hungarian and Finnish. The phonetics of these two languages are fairly close to each other, so - although she does have some minor ortography issues - we know she will sort it out sooner or later. English, however, is so different, in your situation we would definitely teach reading and writing one language at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T10:30:30.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4279" CreationDate="2012-02-16T15:32:29.723" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been avoiding answering this question for a couple of days because I wasn't directly involved with the situation I'll relate to you in a moment, and I wanted to see if you got any responses that were better than mine first.  But you haven't so I thought I'd go ahead and throw in my two cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my nephews was diagnosed with torticollis when he was about six months old.  I know the anxiety that my sister-in-law had with the whole situation and the guilt that she had because she always seemed to feel like she wasn't doing enough to remedy the situation.  They tried turning his head when he was sleeping and ensuring that he had lots of tummy time, but it didn't seem to help.  So, ultimately, he had to wear a helmet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 4 1/2 now and I can't tell any kind of impairment or difference between him and his cousins (there are seven cousins between the ages of 1 year and 5 years...it's pretty easy to compare them to each other when it comes to basic milestones).  I'm pretty sure he wore the helmet almost constantly for about six months or so (could have been longer, I'm honestly not 100% sure).  From what I understand, the helmet was pretty light-weight and he got used to it pretty quickly.  I think he also had additional physical therapy to strengthen the muscles in his neck and encourage him to turn his head in the other direction.  He's a normal, healthy 4 year old now and he hasn't worn the helmet in years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T15:32:29.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4323" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4326" CreationDate="2012-02-16T15:47:05.210" Score="7" ViewCount="7439" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four-year-old is very obviously left-handed.  We've suspected that he's left-handed for a couple of years now, but now that he's starting to learn to write, it's obvious.  Every time he tries to write with his right hand, you can just tell that he's uncomfortable, but when he switches to his left hand, he holds his pencil more naturally and is able to write and draw.  His father and I are both right-handed.  I certainly don't hold my pencil correctly, and I don't even know how to correct my son's pencil grip because it's all backwards to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I need thoughts/recommendations on how to help my left-handed kid with his fine-motor skills when it's all backwards to me.  If you are left-handed, any skills that you found especially difficult to learn because they were designed by and for right-handed people (my mom is left-handed and points out that spiral-bound noteboooks are the bane of her existence) would be good to know, or if you're a right-handed parent of a lefty any tricks or pointers you have would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T00:39:57.293" Title="Recommendations on helping my left-handed preschooler when my husband and I are right-handed" Tags="|pre-schooler|handwriting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4323" CreationDate="2012-02-16T16:15:07.537" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am left handed as are two of my children.  I found that teachers know how to deal with left handedness.   You say she is holding her pencil correctly in his left hand?  This is amazing for a right or left handed child at this age.  The only thing I can think of is be sure he has left handed scissors.  Other than that, he is normal and doesn't need you to do anything special at this age.  If he gets into knitting or crocheting or things like that you will need a lefty to teach him.  And if he likes to peel potatoes and carrots the appropriate peeler is a must.  Other than that don't worry, he will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(please teach him to use the mouse of a computer with his right hand!  It will make his life much easier and he CAN do it!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T16:15:07.537" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2012-02-16T16:21:14.373" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just wanted to share my naming criteria (I say &quot;my&quot; because I had more restrictions than my husband did, although there are a couple of criteria on here that are his).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child should be able to grow with the name.  We didn't want the name to appear too &quot;old&quot; for an infant nor too &quot;young&quot; for a 40-year-old.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;No names from my forbidden name list.  I'm a teacher and I've had many, many names that have just been killed for me over the years either because the child was a nightmare or because the name is simply over-used.  The name Brandon comes to mind.  As a high school teacher, I taught multiple classes a day and in one class I had FIVE Brandons.  FIVE!  Tyler is another one.  I had three Tylers in one class. The real clincher is that Tyler was their middle name, not their first name but they all chose to go by Tyler instead!  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;No city names.  No Paris, Sydney, Brooklyn, Savannah, etc.  This isn't actually my rule, it's my husband's.  It was unintentionally violated, though, when we named our daughter Charlotte.  It wasn't until someone said, &quot;Oh, like the city!&quot; that we realized that there is a Charlotte, North Carolina.  Oh, well, too late now!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Classic first name followed by slightly more unusual middle name.  If they want to go by their more unusual middle name later in life, they are more than welcome to (although I lobbied hard to have my daughter's middle name to be her first name).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;No alliterations.  Our last name starts with a hard C.  Thus, we wanted to avoid the C-C.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't do matchy-matchy.  Our son's name starts with A and I didn't want our daughter's to begin with A.  It's not a pattern I cared to start (I'm a little compulsive that way.  If I'd chosen an A name for our daughter, I would have felt compelled to name the rest of my kids with a name that started with A.  It's a weird quirk, I know).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We wanted our son's name and our daughter's name to flow.  I didn't want an Andrew and a Neveah.  The names just don't make sense together.  Ultimately, I chose my daughter's name by getting down my book of British Royalty and flipping through the family trees.  Lots of Elizabeths, Catherines, Marys, Annes, and Victorias to choose from.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T16:21:14.373" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-02-16T16:21:14.373" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4323" CreationDate="2012-02-16T16:21:59.483" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;At this age, you need not focus on &quot;the right way&quot; of holding a pencil, and fine-motor skills yet. It is recommended to buy big pencils/pens which he can hold more easily. Making him use too small and thin pens now may in fact harm the development of his fine motor skills, making his muscles tense. It is better to defer this until the age of 6-8 when his nervous system is developed enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am left handed myself, as is my elder daughter. As Morah noted, finding a left handed scissor was most important for me, but in fact I got to know about the existence of such things only as an adult. Still I managed to grow up without big traumas :-) My daughter, as myself, does use her right hand in some situations fluently. I think the only really important areas are drawing and writing, in practically all other areas it is fairly easy to learn to use either hand, depending on the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-02-20T23:11:58.407" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T23:11:58.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4327" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4338" CreationDate="2012-02-16T16:25:29.787" Score="5" ViewCount="3478" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in the low 30s and my mother used to be very kind and caring but in the last decade she turned out almost the total opposite. She has a much better wealth then she used to but her attitude changed so much that I almost want to avoid her as much as I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, she accused me and my girlfriend of having stolen 150$. It is not so much the amount but just the fact that she accused us meaning her confidence in us is totally null. This would have NEVER happened in the good old days. I am trying to figure if we have done something that might have changed that and cannot come up with anything. This accusation was made because we took care of her house while they were on vacation, which leads to we will never do it again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also writes some weird things now like &quot;Thanks for your love for me&quot; (maybe bad translation but you get the point I'm sure) and every sentences she writes to us seems like we are indebted to her. She also is unable to spend one dinner without talking about money or how good she is or what exploit she has done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also my girlfriend is pregnant and my mother offered to help us (money wise) and we both agreed that we would not accept anything from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I will soon sit down with her and explain how we feel but when I will do that our relation will take a huge setback for many months. I really want to do that before new baby is born (few more months to go) to take some pressure of my girlfriends shoulders because she finds this situation much more difficult than I do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my questions are:   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How would you handle this kind of situation if it happened to you?   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I make her realized she has changed that much?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought about writing a small book about this story and give her by the intermediary of someone else but I do not think I do have the patience to finish it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1803" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-16T18:34:36.683" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T17:53:50.737" Title="How to handle a mother who is becoming unkind to the adult child?" Tags="|adult-child|relationships|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4323" CreationDate="2012-02-16T16:49:18.853" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Left-handers make all sorts of adaptions. When writing, I've seen many left-handed Americans curve their hand and arm around so that they can 'see' what they've just written. I never picked up that trick, instead clutching my pen or pencil in more of a fist grip than the 'accepted' grip which holds the pen between the thumb and first two fingers. It lets me see the previous word or so, if I need to. To me the 'accepted' grip doesn't seem to allow that, unless you start curving your hand or tilting the paper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It'll all work out. My third-grade teacher tried to get me to switch. I just changed when she was watching, and went back to what worked for me when she wasn't!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child gets older, finding pencils that have harder leads or pens that dry quickly may be useful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best ambidextrous scissors I've ever found are IKEA's. They used to have 3 sizes bound in a pack. As long as the scissors blades are tight together when closed, they should be usable in either hand and I've found many pairs that work fine for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, I've bought notebooks that are spiral bound on the right and used them through university. There are also top-bound notebooks, including stenographer's pads. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found some hand skills (like crocheting) because I'm mirroring the teacher. Otherwise, you have to do a 180-degree rotation of what you're seeing to apply it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mouse left-handed, but leave the buttons set for a right-handed mouse. It horribly confounds any right-hander who tries to use your computer! You can't use the very ergonomic mice, of course, with this technique. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kitchen gadgets are the worse. Knives with the serrated side designed for a right-hander, controls right-oriented, and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to have a child do a little work right-handed, like with loose-bladed scissors, just so he or she can do it relatively easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2007" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T16:49:18.853" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2012-02-16T17:06:44.720" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Faced with twin boys, we added two criteria to our short list:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No alliterative names&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No rhyming names&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, we wanted&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Names that weren't too popular&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No obvious way to tease&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No duplicates among our friends or friends' kids&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ended up with one first name that's in the 200s ranking in the US, and another that sounds familiar to people, but is very uncommon. Middle names are family names, and also have the benefit that they're little used in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first and middle names are very unusual and while it did bug me sometimes growing up (I could never find a souvenir when traveling with my name on it!), I much preferred a unique name to being one of multiple girls with the same name in a class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2007" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T17:06:44.720" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-02-16T17:06:44.720" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4239" CreationDate="2012-02-16T17:13:51.550" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't be intimidated by the instruction manual.  Just use your own judgment.  Put your baby in the stroller and see if it looks comfortable.  The baby will not be living in the stroller so I doubt that it will affect spinal development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2291" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T17:13:51.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4292" CreationDate="2012-02-16T17:25:04.940" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is officially the world's worst eater.  She didn't start really feeding herself until she was well over 12 months old, and her diet is still pretty minimal (but at least we've moved beyond just yogurt as our primary source of nutrition).  Here are some thoughts that I try whenever C is in an especially anti-food stage:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is she bored?&lt;/strong&gt;  If you realize that you've had yogurt three days in a row, maybe it's time to lay off the yogurt and try something else.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is she just not hungry?&lt;/strong&gt;  This is always a possibility.  Sometimes C will eat almost anything I put in front of her, and sometimes all she wants to eat all day is Cheerios and milk.  Keep in mind that your child's stomach at this age is still pretty tiny so it's not going to take much to fill her up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there something else going on that is a distraction?&lt;/strong&gt;  Is the TV on in the other room and causing a distraction?  Is there a toy within reach that she wants? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ETA&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I just thought of another reason why your daughter might have stopped eating.  &lt;strong&gt;Is she sick?&lt;/strong&gt;  This just occurred to me because our daughter has had a cold most of the week and her eating her been even less stellar than it usually is.  Even a small cold can curb a kid's appetite until he/she feels better (and then he/she will eat you out of house and home).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-02-18T02:12:29.633" LastActivityDate="2012-02-18T02:12:29.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4310" CreationDate="2012-02-16T17:38:15.920" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apparently I have a slightly different take to many of the other posters, possibly because of an different age/culture background.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The analogy I'd use is &lt;strong&gt;&quot;Stunt Person&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;. It's a job where you can get really badly hurt (i.e. diseases/pregnant), where it's not as much fun as it looks, where you often deal with slightly nasty people, and you should really only do it with somebody you trust. Of course, one difference is how much a stunt man is respected as opposed to a pornstar, but every analogy breaks down somewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key from my perspective is &lt;strong&gt;You Need To Get Them To Understand Consequences&lt;/strong&gt;. Try and get through to them that, no matter how careful you are, you should never have sex with someone you wouldn't be willing to raise a child with if there was an accident. And that they have to understand the risks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another issue is, realistically, how much you or I know about that industry. Explaining why people watch porn is easy. But explaining why people would choose to be a part of it at the actor level? That's another issue entirely, and one that I doubt anyone on this site knows much about at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-02-16T17:43:22.357" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T17:43:22.357" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2012-02-16T17:49:24.963" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nouns are great, but it's also important to include other parts of speech (adverbs, adjectives, etc.).  My husband and I have always spoken to our kids using adult language, and our son has picked up on those words and uses them--and he uses them correctly!  Even if you're short on books, focusing on other words in often-read books can provide a broader vocabulary.  Asking the simple question of &quot;Do you know what amazing means?&quot; can give you some insight into what vocabulary your child understands in these books and what words he/she's just sort of glancing over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And many times if I use a word that I know my son isn't familiar with, I'll ask him if he knows the word or knows what it means.  Of course he doesn't, but it allows me to explain it to him.  And I have no qualms about correcting him if he uses a word incorrectly or calls something by it's wrong name.  I'm not mean about it, but if he calls a plantain a banana then I'll say something like, &quot;It does look like a banana, but it's actually called a plantain.  See how it's different from a banana?&quot;.  The added benefit is that we get to teach him about differences and similarities at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T17:49:24.963" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4327" CreationDate="2012-02-16T17:53:41.273" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that you need to take care of this prior to your child being born.  However, I am not confident that confronting her is the way to go.  People change, and your perception of people change.  You are now thinking about being a parent yourself and so you may be seeing your mother in a different light.  It is hard when you don't get along with a close family relative, or when it is difficult to be around them, however my advice is to work on yourself and how you deal with her behavior.  You do not have enough power to change her behavior, new or otherwise, so you need to figure out how you can live with it and still maintain a relationship with her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are right to not take money from her, and not stay in her house.  I am sure you will find other things to avoid as life moves along.  But you also need to simply let her talk, or write, weird things without letting them get to you.  This is easier said then done, but an important part of keeping the relationship going.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-16T18:32:28.043" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T18:32:28.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4327" CreationDate="2012-02-16T18:58:46.910" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Morah that people change, and there's only so much you can do about it. You are free to choose your friends, but your family is given to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that you have decided that living your life according your values is more important to you than pleasing your mother. That is an important decision because as a soon-to-be parent you will need to be a leader, not a follower. If this decision means that you cannot borrow money from your mother, or look after her house, then that is the price you might accept to pay for your independence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's understandable that you want to reconnect with your mother. If it means confrontation on any level, I would recommend some book on conflict management; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/Conflict-Management-Relationships-Books/b?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;node=282915&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Amazon.com has lots&lt;/a&gt; to choose from and &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0983751838&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one seems very popular&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic idea behind conflict management is to avoid accusations and to present your feelings in the personal form: &lt;em&gt;&quot;&lt;strong&gt;I feel&lt;/strong&gt; that ...&quot;&lt;/em&gt; It's often preferable if you can say how &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; experience the relationship and without directly pointing at your mother, and describe how it affects &lt;em&gt;you and your life.&lt;/em&gt; You could also try to add what a better situation or solution or goal would be, but again without telling her specifically &lt;em&gt;&quot;I want you to stop doing this and that.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bottom line is that you could choose to try and please her and try to get along, even if it means biting your tongue; or you could address the matter, willing to accept any negative outcome there might follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow her some room to act out her (new?) personality. This is especially &quot;easy&quot; in areas that affect you little, so think of this if it comes down to negotiations. By accepting and granting your mother the right to be &lt;em&gt;herself&lt;/em&gt;, you can expect something in return: adherence to your own (also new?) limits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set some firm limits where you are now establishing your &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; family with &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; rules. Rules  can be respected as long as they make sense, and if they can be respected then they can also be enforced (hard approach) or at least reminded (soft approach).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Summary:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can you make her realize that she has changed?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you can't, because her perception might be that she has stayed the same but the world around her has changed. This is why conflict management doesn't point fingers at anyone but yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How would I handle the situation?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am setting limits and telling my parents the rules of my home. I respect them but I also ask that they follow my rules as long as they're my guests. Some rules may be bent or even broken, but other rules allow no exceptions. This works only as far as the meaningfulness of the rules, because I can't expect others to play along on silly rules. So it's a careful act of diplomacy - be soft-spoken but remain firm on your values.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T18:58:46.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4336" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4342" CreationDate="2012-02-16T19:53:42.583" Score="23" ViewCount="2566" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend an I were wondering if we should attend prenatal classes. We have some really mixed opinions in our friends and family. Some say we just have to listen to the DVD because they say exactly the same thing in the class. Some says it really help them getting ready to be parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We understand that a positive point is to meet new people in the same situation as us but we do have many friends that are pregnant at the same time and we do not consider new relation as a plus factor in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So are these classes worth it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1803" LastActivityDate="2012-02-29T18:58:58.397" Title="Are prenatal classes worth it?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-16T20:14:32.060" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes.  Even if you meet no one (we didn't). Even if you know everything they say (you won't).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found the hospital tour itself is worth it (that was part of our class).&#xA;Also while I didn't find it so useful my husband did, as he got to see what was going to happen.  He explained it to me later saying, I was going through it and so did what I had to do, but he was a bystander (even as he was involved) and so he had more time to process the crazy stuff that goes on, therefore he was glad he was prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T20:14:32.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4327" CreationDate="2012-02-16T20:31:59.520" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your mother is experiencing &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empty_nest_syndrome&quot;&gt;empty nest syndrome&lt;/a&gt;.  Over the course of twenty years or so, parents' identity and self worth becomes very wrapped up in their children.  Sometimes they have trouble adjusting to their new role in your life.  She prided herself in being helpful to you and now she doesn't know how anymore, which makes her feel bad about herself.  She may also be experiencing hormonal changes, which can take a toll on her ability to regulate her emotions.  She talks about herself because she doesn't have anything else to talk about.  The guilt trips are because she doesn't know any other way to persuade you to spend time with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of what she's dealing with she just plain has to figure out on her own. You can't change her mindset or her behavior, only your own.  She will figure it out eventually.  What she needs from you is validation about her role in your life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young couples often have trouble accepting help because they believe there's a quid pro quo attached, or they believe it somehow means they have failed at being independent.  Neither is the case.  Right now all your spare money is going toward preparing for your new baby.  Ask yourself why, and then consider that your mother has been spending her money on you for the same reasons for over 30 years.  She's not trying to get you to owe her something.  She's doesn't think you can't make it on her own.  She just honestly can't think of anything else she would rather spend that money on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So be gracious about accepting help.  Invite her to throw a baby shower.  Make visits and phone calls.  Tell her when she's overstepping her bounds, but be nice about it.  She needs time to learn the new &quot;rules&quot; for your relationship.  Your baby will be a year or two old before everything gets sorted out, because there are new situations to work out, like what the new holiday traditions are now that there are grandchildren.  Until then, try not to do anything that will permanently damage your relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know what helped my mom the most?  Introducing her to facebook.  It sounds strange, but it let her keep in touch without any additional effort on her children's part.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T20:31:59.520" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-16T21:20:05.057" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was pregnant with twins and the only thing I got out of the class was the basics of infant CPR.  If I were to do it again I would only attend the part of the class where they do a tour of the hospital.  I would also try to take a infant/child CPR class separate from the main classes.  With all the quality information available on the internet from reputable sources much of the information in the class was outdated and unnecessary. Even my husband found it to be tedious.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T21:20:05.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-16T22:43:52.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I didn't actually get to attend our scheduled parenting class because I went into labor four weeks early.  Having said that, I would have probably appreciated getting to attend the class--especially since my experience with babies up to that point was limited.  It would have been nice to know about how to change a diaper, perform a proper swaddle, care for an umbilical stump, and a circumcision BEFORE I actually had to do it.  I think you also need to know what kind of learner you are.  I am very kinesthetic and learn best when I perform an action.  If you're more verbal or aural then reading things online or in a book or watching a DVD will probably be fine.  For me, having that dry-run would have been extremely helpful.  Obviously, I eventually learned all these things, but instead I learned it on the fly.  And keep in mind that just because your wife might not get much out of it, you might simply because you learn differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T22:43:52.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-16T22:50:39.213" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our eldest was born almost 3 months premature, before we had a chance to attend our prenatal classes.  We had absolutely no idea what was going on.  By the time we figured out what was happening, the baby was already born.  We spent the next 3 months in the hospital with her until she was well enough to take home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though we had already parented 5 children, including our son we later adopted and 3 foster children, taken 40 hours of parenting classes to become foster parents, knew CPR, read a ton of books, and had spent more time in a hospital than anyone else we knew who didn't work in one, we still took the prenatal class when my wife became pregnant again.  I'm glad we did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the classes talked about cesarean sections.  Despite everything, it was a possibility my wife had never even considered, and it terrified her.  Having it discussed in the class brought that to the surface and allowed her to come to terms with those feelings and know what to expect.  She turned out to need a C-section due to some complications and was much better prepared for the experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If everything goes perfectly, the class will likely feel like a waste of time.  If not, you will be glad you attended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-02-16T22:50:39.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-17T01:13:37.660" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Alternative hubby perspective: Nothing went wrong, and I still don't think it was a waste of time.  Absolutely recommended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife found it immensely comforting to attend these classes, with me (her husband). I observed her anxiety levels before and after, and I could see the difference in her composure and her &quot;feeling ready for this&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She felt that the whole thing was more manageable, from an anxiety point of view, when she had lots more information. The lady who led the classes was a experience nurse, Doula, and labor coach, and had taught these courses for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked her afterwards if she was glad she went to these, and she said yes, first for herself, and secondly because she wanted me to know what was up, and to be able to help her and support her properly during labor and right afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2184" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T01:13:37.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4344" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4349" CreationDate="2012-02-17T01:19:41.693" Score="11" ViewCount="13239" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are frazzled with a little boy who has not only mastered the walk and the run, he has now started into climbing every available vertical surface.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We thought we had the house baby-proof, at least the living room.  Other than standing over him every moment, we're wondering if anybody has any ideas for dealing with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, he's a perfectly healthy boy with a perfectly healthy skull. Better to let him fall a bit and learn or what?  We have a bicycle helmet.  I half jokingly suggested to my wife that we put a helmet on him and strap some pillows on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know he needs to explore and learn, and we have surfaces like book-shelves, coffee tables, and furniture, that he seems to know how to get up and into, but not down from.  I guess we've just got to hover for the next while.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips at all, including ways to reduce the chance of your baby climbing up and falling on his head and breaking his neck, appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2184" LastActivityDate="2019-02-13T00:03:54.687" Title="Ideas for dealing with a 16 month old toddler who likes to climb things?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4303" CreationDate="2012-02-17T01:24:05.277" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you should let them watch some english Children's TV programs with CLOSE CAPTIONS turned on, and talk English a little bit at home with them, so they know &quot;English is a fun game we play with mom and dad&quot; as well, that German is their primary language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a person who grew up in an all English household, and who learned German in high-school, but French as a young child, I know that the benefit that you get from having already experienced a language as a child below 5 years of age, never evaporates.  Your child will of course be fluent in English, if they continue to have some media and school exposure to English.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2184" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T01:24:05.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4237" CreationDate="2012-02-17T01:26:58.657" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you need to get stuff done, by a play-pen and put the baby in the play pen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't put the TV on for a 16 month old toddler. Just don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2184" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T01:26:58.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4185" CreationDate="2012-02-17T01:50:18.497" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that it depends on the situation and how the school handles it.  At my elementary school, kids were pulled in and out of class all day.  Some kids were taken to do advanced work and some kids were taken to do remedial work.  No one knew where the others were going unless they were going as well.  Usually, the older students (I'd say, second grade and up) knew that at, say, 10:00 they just needed to leave class to visit Mr. Cruze (our special ed. teacher) for math or reading or whatever and they would simply leave class quietly and go see Mr. Cruze who was expecting them.  Keep in mind, I attended a very small elementary school and there were probably no more than one or two kids in each class who ever needed to leave at any given time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child has numerical dyslexia, for example, and has not only fallen behind his/her classmates in math because of it but also needs extra therapy to learn to deal with his/her learning disability, then I think it's absolutely appropriate for the child to be pulled out of class to get caught up in the subject and be given the extra support he/she needs.  However, it shouldn't be necessary for there to be a big to-do about it.  I don't know that anyone ever really noticed who was in class and out of class at any given time when I was in school.  For all we knew, people were leaving to go to the bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess the question you have to ask yourself is:  If my child doesn't receive good help NOW to get caught up, what will the impact be on his/her self-esteem later on?  I've had many students whose self-esteem was MORE damaged by the fact that he/she didn't receive remediation early enough.  Ultimately, they fell farther and farther behind until they truly did have a learning disability because they couldn't read above a third grade level and they were freshmen in high school.  Is this a situation where a good tutor could be just as or more effective than the school's remediation program?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think, whether you choose to use the school's remediation plan or get your own tutor, it is of the utmost importance that YOU be supportive of your child (I'm sure you realize that, but I just wanted to throw that out there).  Kids are always going to need extra help in some area--for me, it was first grade math.  The key is for parents to catch it early and nip it in the bud before it grows out of control and for their kids to realize that no, their parents don't think they're stupid they just want to make sure that they stay on track.  The most successful students I ever had were not the ones who sailed through school unimpeded, but the ones who had a few set-backs, worked through them with the love and support of their parents, and knew how to handle a little adversity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T01:50:18.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4344" CreationDate="2012-02-17T02:27:27.983" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my child was doing something dangerous, I pretended/showed them they would fall (like this, and push them a bit) and would catch them in the last minute. That way they would experience that they COULD fall and would be more careful next time. But it works better on older kids .. e.g., 2+ years....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2261" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T02:27:27.983" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4344" CreationDate="2012-02-17T03:21:41.297" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter does the same thing. She had a couple of days where she decided she wanted to jump off the couch head-first onto the hardwood floor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was told &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt;, no, no, no - until she understood that she may not do that. She didn't do it again. So we did it on a case-by-case basis. Some places, like our bed, which is pretty high - we let her climb. And then we teach her how to get down (turn around, slide down). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you have two options: define places that are off-limits, and for places that are not, teach her how to climb or get down. (My husband taught our daughter how to climb our bed and how to get down from the bed.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So be firm. Be strict. Say no - and only say it - when you absolutely mean it. Some things are never okay, and she has to learn that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T03:21:41.297" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4344" CreationDate="2012-02-17T09:40:28.457" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may have guessed from my answers to other questions, but I strongly support the idea of letting kids try everything so they do learn what hurts while at a young enough age to avoid breaking themselves, so I recommend the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do a wee bit of babyproofing (eg. don't let them climb on the fireplace, remove glass from shelves etc) but aside from that, let them climb. If you find there is something you really don't want them to climb on, tell them no and offer an alternative. In our case, we didn't want them to climb on the mantelpiece (it had a fire underneath, and had some valuable antiques on it) so we provided a couple of tree trunks in the garden to climb on instead. This also had the advantage of being set in soil so when they did fall off they didn't hurt themselves that much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; babies fall and bash their heads. Better to do it when they are small and not very far off the ground. If they haven't had the chance to do it at this age, they will be far less capable of understanding the risks in later life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T09:40:28.457" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-17T12:15:50.013" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Prenatal classes are totally worth it&lt;/strong&gt; (if they're any good)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a very practical and &quot;gears and mechanics&quot; kind of guy. I understand stuff best when I &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; things in action, but with parenting and especially concerning the birth, there's no practice run, so as a first-time dad I felt very unsure. Going to a prenatal course helped immensely. The classes described the whole birthing process in very small and surprisingly un-gory details. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were exercises for the couples, designed to handle the contractions, and I think it's very important that the father takes part in these because it very clearly shows the mother that the father takes it seriously and provides support - and &lt;em&gt;knows how&lt;/em&gt; to support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were also some practical demonstrations of things like infant CPR, diaper-changes, and so on. The classes were held by two midwives and it was clear that they &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; knew what they were talking about, and that they cared to make the whole thing easier on the couples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were also visits to hospitals (in Austria, these visits are called &lt;em&gt;stork parties&lt;/em&gt;) and it was helpful for me to see all the facilities. The bedrooms, the delivery rooms, and so on. Visiting several different hospitals also made it very evident what the differences between them were, and I was surprised at just how different they can be. These visits helped us choose a hospital we felt very comfortable with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I think prenatal classes are &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; a good idea,&lt;/strong&gt; even if you are somehow certain that everything will happen perfectly. &lt;strong&gt;Just knowing what to expect&lt;/strong&gt; helps immensely to remain calm throughout the whole event, and you'll be less stressed and freaked out if things don't go as planned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T12:15:50.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4344" CreationDate="2012-02-17T13:48:26.620" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Rory to a point.  Kids need to learn natural consequences, and falling is a natural consequence of climbing on things.  However, there is a safety element that you can't ignore.  My son was a climber, and there were many times I caught him trying to climb one of our bookshelves.  Bookshelves for me are a big no-no.  These are big bookshelves and if he pulled one over on him it would really, really injure him.  So the bookshelves are screwed to the wall.  I'm sure you know about this, but you can buy little kits pretty inexpensively to do this.  The reality is that you can't possibly watch your son every second of the day.  For those situations where you simply don't want him climbing on something because falling &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; hurt him, that's more of a discipline issue.  Certainly, teaching him to safely climb down from a bed is important, and providing him with ample opportunities for &lt;strong&gt;safe&lt;/strong&gt; climbing, but if there's something that you don't want him climbing on at all then you might need to institute a time-out policy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just so you know, my husband was once carrying my son on his shoulders and dropped him to a hardwood floor where he hit his head.  He had to fall in excess of five and a half feet.  A quick trip to the ER showed that, other than being scared (and my husband feeling awful), he was fine.  Kids are way more resilient than we give them credit for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T13:48:26.620" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-17T13:56:48.823" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The short answer: whether or not they are worth it depends on the personalities and learning styles of you and your wife, but in most cases they provide some definite advantages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend to learn best by reading and reflecting on materials at my own pace, but there were a few pieces of advice or nuggets of information that I doubt my own research would have uncovered.  I also found the hand's on practice for changing diapers immensely useful (my first diaper change was &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; an absolute disaster, but that was only because it... just... kept... coming!  Not because I didn't know how to put on the diaper (I put on three successfully that very first time!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll admit, other parts of the classes were not only not useful to me, but seemed silly and a complete waste of time.  However, these were made up for by the parts that &lt;em&gt;were&lt;/em&gt; useful.  The hospital tour.  The information about likely sequences of events.  The information about possible complications, and how they would be responded to.  The information about when to call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, though, they were immensely helpful for my wife, because she simply felt better prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T13:56:48.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4170" CreationDate="2012-02-17T14:29:39.563" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;So...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been thinking about this question for a few days, and here's the best I can come up with (and since it's been almost a month, none of this may apply to you anymore):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think a certain level of push-back from your daughter is to be expected.  Especially if her friends are at the big kids school and whatnot.  I think the only thing you can really do is explain to her (as best you can) that the school you're sending her back to is better and that you like it better.  Keep is simple, and it's perhaps a good opportunity to teach her that sometimes we have to do things that we don't especially want to do or like to do initially, but we can learn to like them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having read your previous posts, I don't think there's any danger of your daughter being made to feel dumb or stupid, but I think she probably will need some extra TLC for a little while until she adjusts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even as I re-read that, I feel like it's a lame answer, but I think that's probably how I would approach it with my 4-year-old if it were me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T14:29:39.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-17T18:26:03.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Worth it? It's a difficult question to answer. It depends on the costs; time, money, loss of the alternative uses of your time. It depends on the benefits; what you learn, how it can help you transition from pregnant to parent, how it can reduce anxiety, who you experience it with, the value of the experience...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With your first child, if you can easily afford it, in most circumstances prenatal classes will be worth it. Even just setting aside the time to prepare yourself is important. Sometimes a class is the best way to do this. If you can't afford it find alternatives. Friends who have recently given birth. The DVD you mentioned. Being super-prepared with questions for your doctor visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seek to understand the phases of labor, familiarize yourself with the hospital, make a flexible plan for what you will do, and trust your instincts. Remember that the doctors and nurses around you are experts in their fields and dedicated to protecting your health, but they are not the authority over you or your child. You get to make all of the decisions that you want to make.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T18:26:03.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4303" CreationDate="2012-02-17T20:17:20.373" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(by popular request)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for English-speaking ex-pats in the area you're moving back to, especially ones with small children... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T20:17:20.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4265" CreationDate="2012-02-17T23:41:18.700" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It depends on your child&lt;/strong&gt;. My kids just love Disney films such as Cars, Dumbo, Robin Hood and Jungle Book, but if &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.droidforums.net/gallery/data/521/Sleeping_Beauty_Maleficent.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Malificent The Witch&lt;/a&gt; was the greeter at Disneyworld, they'd freak out and have nightmares for a week - there was one in our Disney store once and that scared the hell out of &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2012-02-17T23:41:18.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4310" CreationDate="2012-02-18T00:16:47.800" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;With the current state of the internet, children are increasingly exposed to all levels of pornography whether they mean to or not. A simple mis-spelling of common websites such as &quot;Fecabook.com&quot; (easy to mis-type, &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; what you expected. Not a porn site anymore though) can result in children seeing graphic pictures and videos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pornography&lt;/a&gt; is often the first time young people have seen uncensored adult nudity (other than their parents) and it is this reason that it is important to explain that pornography &lt;strong&gt;is not reality&lt;/strong&gt;. My 18-year-old nephew's friends once remarked that his girlfriend needs &quot;surgery - to fix her body to be more &lt;em&gt;normal&lt;/em&gt;, like the ones you see in porn&quot;. This was pretty shocking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are varying attitudes to pornography depending on your culture, religion or personal beliefs. I don't wish to say whether pornography is a good or bad thing as this is a highly emotive subject and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.netspeed.com.au/ttguy/refs2.htm#lab&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;studies are often subjective&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;..but it is important to explain to your children what it is, why it exists and any concerns you have about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to assert that the pornography industry is inherently exploitative in that the performers are paid for their involvement in filming, but the film maker continues to make money off each sale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An analogy for the modern age would be that someone has used their mobile phone to film a &lt;strong&gt;prank&lt;/strong&gt; on someone they know. This prank could vary from the subject being embarrassed due to being caught doing something dumb, thru having their clothes yanked off exposing their nudity, thru nudity with people laughing at them, thru to getting hurt in the process and not at all enjoying it (extreme). The person who took the film uploads the movie to a video sharing site and the whole world can view it. They then get a zillion 'Likes' or +1's thus earning them some internet stardom/notoriety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This analogy is something that the teenagers can grasp. If you ask them if they'd like to be the person doing the filming, they'd probably see nothing too bad about it. If you ask them if they'd be happy to be the person who's clothes were yanked off and laughed at, not so much. They will already fully understand the voyeuristic/entertainment aspect, but you can cover that too. They probably won't need to ask why it exists by this point, but you can then talk through your concerns on the subject in terms of the analogy or by bringing it back to the topic of pornography.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="3820" LastEditDate="2013-06-10T11:32:19.810" LastActivityDate="2013-06-10T11:32:19.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4359" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4362" CreationDate="2012-02-18T02:55:15.547" Score="7" ViewCount="7114" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize that as a parent I will need to be my child's advocate at daycare and school and pursue issues that concern me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I bring up issues of concern about the behavior of the staff without creating tension between me and the staff?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE:  My child attends a relatively small daycare and it has been my experience that the staff seems to have no trouble guessing which parents bring up which issues, so just taking things to the director doesn't avoid the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:  I tried to write my question to be more general and not specific to an event but since it seems I may have been too vague, here is some more background on what motivated the question.  I noticed that one of the workers at my child's daycare had a cold sore and I was concerned about the risks to my child.  I contacted my pediatrician with my concern and she told me that the risk was minimal as long as the worker limited close contact (e.g., kissing, hugging, etc...) and washed their hands frequently.  However when I returned the next day to pick up my child I saw this worker playing in very close contact with several children and hugging and nuzzling them.  When I returned home I contacted the director of the daycare and explained the situation being sure to emphasize how much I liked this particular worker but was concerned that she may not be aware of the contagion risk associated with a cold sore.  The next day the worker was not working in the infant room and since then she has been very cold to me and my wife despite our having had a very warm relationship prior to this incident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastEditorUserId="2195" LastEditDate="2012-02-19T12:25:53.670" LastActivityDate="2013-03-20T00:16:46.310" Title="How can I address issues that concern me at daycare (and school) without creating tension with the staff?" Tags="|health|school|daycare|hygiene|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4359" CreationDate="2012-02-18T04:47:50.003" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This of course depends on the issue you want to bring up.  If the issue is with another student you should first speak to the teachers.  If it's with the staff you speak with a director.  At issue here not whether or not others will know who brought the issue to the table it's whether or not your child has a more  comfortable environment to learn in.  Of course there will be tension between kids because let's face it kids be kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more details you might need to tell us exactly what the issue actually is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:  Based on the additional info you have provided there are things that have likely transpired that may have brought this change in the staffer towards you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You should have talked to the staffer yourself first.  Talking to a person directly often softens the situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You may have slightly overreacted.  Yes there is a risk for a child to catch a cold sore him/herself from an infected person, which in the United States constitutes about 80% of the population by most accounts, which means that it is quite likely that you or your wife had already passed the virus to your child, so yes it's a concern but not as significant as you made it out to be.  I had them as far back as I can remember myself and while it's uncomfortable people are yet to die from it.  There are many articles on the subject: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_cold-sores_10867.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;BabyCenter&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyzone.com/askanexpert/passing-cold-sores-to-baby&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;BabyZone&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you talked to the director and indicated that you had concerns you should have asked about the &quot;policy on staff's health and hygiene requirements when working with infants&quot; and if asked whether or not you have seen one then you can indicate that yes I have seen one staffer in the infant room with what you think might be a cold sore.  This puts the necessity of explaining the policy on the director and gives you better indication what kind of a place you are dealing with.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Director has definitely overreacted.  And worse yet likely dropped your child's name or your name in the conversation with the staffer.  In situations like this it's not just bad management, it's psychologically traumatizing for your child on the possible perception that he/she has a health freak for a parent.  Instead she should have found the staffer reminded her about the personal health and hygiene policy when working with children and have her correct the situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what this leaves you with is basically a lot of problems you will need to solve.  Not the least of which is that you may have to pull your child from that day care and put him or her into another, which for me would be a big problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now whether or not this happened and whether or not this staffer is mad at you if you feel that you did right for your child then &lt;strong&gt;&quot;Damn the torpedoes!&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;. It's for your child's safety and health and that is exactly what you are there for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2195" LastEditorUserId="2195" LastEditDate="2012-02-19T07:32:48.190" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T07:32:48.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4359" CreationDate="2012-02-18T13:51:46.507" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apart from the concrete issue in question, it depends a lot on the personality of the staff members involved, the local culture(s) (both within the organization and in the broader city / country area) and their relationship to constructive discussion and criticism, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one extreme, there are cultures and persons for whom it is very difficult or impossible to accept constructive criticism - they take it as a direct offense to their dignity, thus reacting defensively, and potentially even retaliating when they can. Needless to say, in such a culture or with a daycare staff member having such a personality, any attempt to criticism will be paid off by your kid :-(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the other extreme, there are those persons who always take constructive criticism as an opportunity to learn something new, grow and develop themselves. Such persons are usually a pleasure to deal with, because you really can tell them what you think, and they won't take it personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of us (cultures and persons alike) are somewhere in between these two extremes. So usually it is wise to pay attention to how you communicate your problem, and how you seek / suggest solutions or alternatives, while avoiding to damage others' self-confidence and dignity. Some rules of thumb:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;focus on the problem, not the person - don't say &quot;you did a mistake here and there&quot; or &quot;you behaved stupidly yesterday&quot;, but &quot;your behaviour offended Tim&quot; or &quot;I am feeling bad about what you said yesterday&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;focus on finding a solution or improving things, rather than finding scapegoats&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;avoid being judgmental - you probably don't know the full picture, and others may have a completely different experience about the same events. So strive to only discuss facts, not your own interpretation of them, and specifically not your judgment based on this (potentially partial and biased) interpretation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't try to control others, leave their freedom of choice - e.g. instead of &quot;you should/must do this and this to solve the problem&quot;, it is better to say &quot;in my opinion, this and this approach may help solving the problem&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't worry about &quot;winning&quot; any argument, or having your deeds acknowledged - it is often much better to get a working solution, even if it is publicly attributed to someone else (you will know whose merit it really was, and so will all those with an impartial eye), than to be stuck in a prolonged ego conflict&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;another aspect of the idea above: lonely heroes seldom bring lasting solutions to problems - problem solving almost always requires teamwork. So you need involvement from all effected parties. It is much better to have a small share in a working and productive team, than to be the 100% owner of a disfunctional company.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-02-18T14:18:35.020" LastActivityDate="2012-02-18T14:18:35.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4359" CreationDate="2012-02-19T01:05:56.777" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't .. don't bother trying. I certainly would not delay bringing up concerns in order to spare the feelings of the staff.  Who cares if they like you, and if they are nasty to your child you need a new provider anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1/ Be courteous and respectful.  In fact be overly so.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2/ Focus on the future, not the past. Don't say &quot;I was bothered by ((blah))&quot;, say &quot;I saw ((blah)) the other day. Please make sure that ((blah)) doesn't happen when my child is here.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3/ Don't start the discussion with a question. &quot;Is it really OK that ((blah))?&quot; is judgmental and accusative.  &quot;I expect that ((blah)) does not happen while my child is here.&quot; is not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4/ Don't soft-pedal or water down your concern. State your piece succinctly, then be done. Don't get sucked into a discussion, just state your expectation for the future. You aren't negotiating, and you are the paying customer and the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming you are not overly confrontational or unreasonable, any response that does not indicate respect for your position and willingness to figure it out is a sign that you need to take your child elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T01:05:56.777" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-19T03:18:48.697" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;20 years ago my wife and I took &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lamaze.org/&quot;&gt;Lamaze&lt;/a&gt; classes during the pregnancy. At that time they were primarily about what to expect during the labor and delivery, and for the first few weeks after the baby came home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The L&amp;amp;D part was quite useful. Just having an idea of what was happening and what should be happening next was very calming for me, and allowed me to help keep my wife calm as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea about the classes that you are considering.  If the focus is L&amp;amp;D, excellent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T03:18:48.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4327" CreationDate="2012-02-19T04:02:51.717" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, you should get past the idea that you are going to get her to change. It is possible, but unlikely, and it certainly won't happen if that is the focus.  You need to focus on dealing with her as she is in the most constructive manner possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You haven't mentioned the relationship that you and the child's mother have.  If it is contentious, rocky, or difficult, your mother might be picking up on that. If she thinks the child's mother is mistreating you, she might not be interested in being kind to her. If she sees you treat the child's mother poorly, she might think that is how you want the child's mother treated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also possible is that the baby is triggering feelings in your mother that you are going to abandon her for the child's mother and the child.  If you think that is possible, you should talk with your mother about how things will change after the baby arrives, and you should make a point of calling her often through the whole process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some concrete thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;used to be&quot; doesn't matter much ... the &quot;is&quot; matters.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell your mother directly that she must treat the child's mother with courtesy and respect if she wishes to be included in the life of the child. Do so now, and repeat it frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read the book &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.daveramsey.com/store/books/Daves-Library/Business-Leadership/-i-boundaries-i-/prod303.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&quot;. It is about setting proper boundaries in close relationships. I expect you will have problems with your mother that will require you to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You haven't mentioned your father, who is likely a key factor in the dynamic. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You also haven't mentioned your &quot;in-laws&quot;, who may also be important.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additional thought ... because you have not married the child's mother, you have left ambiguous the relationship between you, this woman, and your mother. Are you committed to this woman? Are you committed to the child? Is this woman more important to you than your mother? You may well need to make the situation crystal clear to your mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T17:53:50.737" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T17:53:50.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4310" CreationDate="2012-02-19T04:26:18.467" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The real question that should be answered is why you want your children to not be exposed to porn.  Once you can effectively answer that question, phrasing that answer in a way that your kids will understand is far less difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those of us who believe in modesty and &quot;traditional&quot; sexual morality, it is pretty easy to tell kids that porn violates our moral code and should be avoided for that reason. It encourages immoral behavior, and models a manner of treating each other which is against our beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those who are OK with loose sexual mores, one has to wonder why porn is not acceptable. I presume that you are in this camp, since you are struggling with the answer. Think long and hard about why porn makes you uncomfortable, and then explain it to your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW .. even if you don't have a logical answer, you should do your best to keep them away from it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;** Do something to &lt;a href=&quot;https://superuser.com/questions/338604/software-for-web-filtering-and-blocking-certain-sites&quot;&gt;protect your computers&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;** Block it on your cable TV through the provider.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;** Figure out how to block it on their phones.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-20T10:18:35.887" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T04:26:18.467" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4366" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4368" CreationDate="2012-02-19T09:06:27.163" Score="9" ViewCount="68515" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I took a roadtrip and thought that we were totally prepared. We brought bottles of pumped milk (stored in a cooler). We also brought a thermos of hot/warm water so that we can warm up the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We figured that when our baby got hungry, we can give her a bottle. I did the driving, while my wife tended to the baby in the back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About 30 minutes into the trip we heard the cry of hunger. We gave her a couple of ounces of milk after we warmed it up. All seem to be fine, until she got fussy and finally she had a big spit up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We think that basically we couldn't burp her in the car so that's why she got fussy and eventually spit up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a better way to handle this in the future? I guess the proper thing to do would be to pull over at a rest stop, feed &amp;amp; burp the baby and then resume our trip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is feeding a baby in a moving vehicle bad practice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2019-11-10T19:18:17.220" Title="Giving a baby a bottle while in a car seat of a moving vehicle...should this be avoided?" Tags="|bottle-feeding|driving|gas|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4367" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4374" CreationDate="2012-02-19T10:45:08.233" Score="11" ViewCount="89694" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a one and a half month old baby daughter who is getting a lot of dry skin and dandruff. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have used olive oil to massage her skin and also Johnson's baby lotion but still there is a lot of improvement needed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can someone suggest effective advice that worked for them? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2297" LastEditorUserId="2297" LastEditDate="2020-03-30T03:29:48.630" LastActivityDate="2020-03-30T03:29:48.630" Title="Why does skin dryness occur in newborns and infants and how can we help to prevent it?" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4366" CreationDate="2012-02-19T12:30:17.660" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;While it might be useful on a long road trip to be able to do this, it is certainly easier to do this when at a rest stop - one of mine really needed to be burped after a bottle, and this worked best in the traditional 'over the shoulder' position, so we couldn't have done that safely when driving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also gives both the driver and partner time to work together to ensure the child is fine, and you get a break from driving for 15 minutes - which is always to be encouraged!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I don't think it is 'bad practice' - it's just easier, more relaxing, and generally better to do it while stationary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T12:30:17.660" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4367" CreationDate="2012-02-19T13:27:18.920" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Only a doctor examining your baby would be able to tell you, but it sounds like it could be a form of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eczema&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;eczema&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0000537JL&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Moisturizing cream&lt;/a&gt; is a common remedy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1166" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T13:27:18.920" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4370" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4415" CreationDate="2012-02-19T18:57:23.763" Score="11" ViewCount="585" Body="&lt;p&gt;We want to be prepare for our 9 months period as a couple and be sure to give a proper environment for our baby.  What should we read before and during the 9 month period?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Please note:&lt;/strong&gt; answers should contain general guidelines for selecting books, and should &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; be simple recommendations of &quot;here's our favorite book or books&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2078" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-02-20T13:43:36.180" LastActivityDate="2018-05-20T07:38:53.860" Title="What to read or learn before expecting?" Tags="|newborn|health|education|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4370" CreationDate="2012-02-19T19:16:22.410" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A rather standard answer is &quot;What to expect when you're expecting&quot; book. It has a breakdown of how things tend to progress month-to-month, and, well, what to expect :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T19:16:22.410" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4370" CreationDate="2012-02-19T19:46:14.167" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;DVK's answer is good. Between books I bought, borrowed, and were brought home by my partner from the 2nd hand store, I liked the Mayo Clinic book the best for an even-handed, good overall discussion of various medical (physical and emotional) issues, and month-by-month descriptions of what's happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I tend to fall on the medical/technical side, so some books that struck me as having a more strident or dismissive tone about certain choices just turned me off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2007" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T19:46:14.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4366" CreationDate="2012-02-19T20:16:14.683" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I visit his family in Wisconsin at least once or twice or year.  Until this year, we lived in Tennessee and this was a 12+ hour drive which we dutifully did with our son/son and daughter until this year when we realized that driving from Georgia would add another 4 hours to the drive.  So now we fly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During that time, we ALWAYS stopped to feed our kids bottles.  Our daughter absolutely HAD to be burped well during and after every bottle.  No way was that going to happen while driving.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my sister-in-law, who lived in Minnesota, would frequently feed her daughter in the backseat while her husband drove on car trips and never mentioned having any trouble.  It's not necessarily bad practice, it may just be a bad practice for your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter's old enough and the trip isn't exceptionally lengthy, you might be able to avoid the whole issue by driving after she falls asleep for the night.  We still visit my parents frequently (who live 4 hours away), and this is what we do for our 18-month-old.  Granted, we don't get to our destination until almost midnight, but she falls asleep almost immediately when we put her in the car and stays that way until we get there so it's completely worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T20:16:14.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4367" CreationDate="2012-02-19T20:35:58.413" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since it's winter, it stands to reason that your baby's skin is going to be a little &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_dry-skin_1515115.bc?page=1&quot;&gt;dry&lt;/a&gt;.  This link suggests cutting back on bath time, making sure the water isn't too hot, and limiting the amount of contact your child has with soap.  Baths strip the natural oils off the skin so you don't want to over-do the number of baths she gets or how long she's in the tub.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also suggests moisturizing immediately after bathing as your skin will absorb the lotion better, and that the general rule-of-thumb with moisturizer is the thicker the better.  If Johnson's isn't working, you might switch to a thicker lotion or a cream instead of Johnson's which is pretty thin as lotions go.  Some of my mommy friends have had good results with Cetaphil or anything that's unscented and/or hypoallergenic.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a humidifier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't let salt or chlorine dry on the skin.  In case you visit a local pool or something.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Protect your baby's skin from the elements.  Make sure when you take her out that she's thoroughly covered and protected from the wind and cold.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:  As for her dandruff:  She probably has cradle cap which is an incredibly common condition.  Both my kids had it.  It's really hard to get rid of altogether, but you can sort of minimize it.  When I washed my kid's hair, I would take a really soft baby brush and sort of massage their scalp in circular motions while the shampoo was still in their hair.  This will help loosen some of the dry skin and you can just rinse it away.  It probably won't get rid of it 100%, but it should help.  I've also heard you can use olive oil to do this, and once I got really desperate and used a combination of shampoo and baby oil on my daughter's scalp, but it took FOREVER to get all the oil out of her hair.  There are also some cradle cap shampoos you can buy at any big box store if some of the home remedies don't help.  If it's REALLY bad and none of this helps, then you should probably talk to your doctor about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-02-20T04:05:06.633" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T04:05:06.633" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4370" CreationDate="2012-02-19T22:17:39.120" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was very happy with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this website&lt;/a&gt;. You can enter your due date, and they will send you weekly updates by e-mail. It was very accurate in my case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pregnancy symptoms come and go, the week-by-week websites (there's lots) make estimates of what is going to be happening. This one matched my symptoms better than any other site. Also, they rely more heavily on medical literature and research than other places I've seen back then. (Still true today, though I didn't go looking at other websites to compare for my current pregnancy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2018-05-20T07:38:53.860" LastActivityDate="2018-05-20T07:38:53.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4370" CreationDate="2012-02-19T23:53:40.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The two books we've found most useful, one for during, the other for after, are &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.penguin.com.au/uptheduff/samples.cfm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Up the Duf&lt;/a&gt;f&lt;/em&gt; by Kaz Cooke and &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.panmacmillan.com.au/display_title.asp?ISBN=9781405039109&amp;amp;Author=Barker,%20Robin&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Love&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by Robin Barker. Both have an Australian bent to them (such as whenever laws or government guidelines are mentioned) but the advice is universal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cooke's book is irreverent and funny but is full of lots of useful advice and is organised in a week by week basis. We used it as a complement to a large number of other non-descript, worthy books we borrowed from the library that got us through the pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barker's book is considered a bible down under. It covers just about everything for the first year of your child's life. It doesn't preach nor is judgemental but gives simple, plain advice, offering alternatives with pros and cons to the differents decisions a parent has to make (such as where baby will sleep for the first few months: in bed, in same room, in different room as parents...) as well as reassuring advice on things like rashes, constant crying, cluster feeding, etc. etc. It can be read cover to cover but we've used it more as a reference guide as it has a good index.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2063" LastActivityDate="2012-02-19T23:53:40.800" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2347" CreationDate="2012-02-20T01:38:38.430" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I &lt;strong&gt;DO NOT&lt;/strong&gt; recommend night driving--especially if your drive is in excess of ten hours.  There are several reasons for this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your initial drive-time is 10 hours, you should probably add another 2-4 hours of drive time with kids.  So now your drive is between 12 and 14 hours.  Even if you drive overnight, you are going to have to stop for fueling, food, bathroom breaks, diaper-changing breaks, etc.  And, inevitably, when you do this your child will probably wake up almost every time.  It's amazing, but our average stop time probably doubled after we started doing long road-trips with a baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It doesn't matter how much sleep/rest you are able to get during the day, on long stretches of dark road in the middle of nowhere, no amount of caffeine or sugar is going to keep you awake.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is dangerous.  When my husband and I were younger we could easily drive 12 hours overnight without a single thought after working a full 8-hour day, but the last two times we attempted the all-night drive the last two hours were an absolute nightmare and I still don't know how we all arrived in one piece.  There are whole stretches of the interstate between Chicago and Madison, WI that I have absolutely no memory of despite the fact that I drove them.  Just don't do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After we realized that driving overnight was no longer an option, we started breaking the drive up into two shorter chunks and we would spend the night in a hotel somewhere in Indiana. The positive side to this is that we were never so exhausted that we put our family in danger and it was nice to book a hotel that had a pool so we could wear down the kiddos before bedtime, but the negative side is that we ultimately spent 4 days just traveling (two on the way there and two on the way home), and we had to pay for a hotel room--twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If stopping overnight is not an option for you, then here are some dos that we learned with our kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do stop frequently to give your kid the opportunity to walk around.  This was especially important when we drove with our son who was 18ish months old.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you stop, try to get as much done at that stop as possible to at least minimize your stopping.  As I said before, your stop time is going to increase anyway.  If you're going to stop to eat, try to find a spot that will allow your son to run around and play after he's eaten and also change his diaper.  Just FYI:  Fast food restaurants SEEM like a good idea for this, but we have found so many of them do not offer diaper changing stations anywhere.  Wendy's and Subway seem to be the worst for this, but we've hit a few McDonald's that have the same problem.  If you need to change a diaper, stop at a safe, clean-looking rest area or a large travel center.  Trust me, you DO NOT want to stop, get your kid out of the car, go inside, hit the restroom and discover there is no where to change your kid's diaper.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep a stock-pile of toys (new and old) that are good car toys.  Dispense them judiciously.  Your child will tire of the toy eventually and you don't want to be two hours into the trip with nothing more to give your kid.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If possible, it's nice for one adult to sit in the back to help entertain.  Sitting in the back was never an option for us.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make a &quot;travel box&quot; that has diapers, wipes, toys, sippy cups, etc., easily accessible.  This way, you're not trying to dig through bags to find whatever it is that you need.  We always kept a medium-sized plastic tub of stuff in the floor behind the driver's seat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take a small ball with you.  Even if your ONLY option for stopping is a rest area, your child can play with the ball and still have a pretty good time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T01:38:38.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2012-02-20T06:30:34.343" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The gyro thing that @TorbenGundtofte-Bruun mentions, I think, is related to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moro_reflex&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Moro Reflex&lt;/a&gt;. I have a variation on Torben's technique. While the baby is in your arms, first rotate the baby so that she is on her side. Slowly put her down in the crib, and then &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; slowly rotate her until she is on her back. This works for me pretty nicely. Hopefully this will help other parents out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T06:30:34.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4370" CreationDate="2012-02-20T13:59:15.957" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;In terms of what I think it is helpful to know as someone expecting a child any day now:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not, I repeat do not, try to know everything there is to know.  I go into pretty much any endeavor by researching about it - I'm an engineer, it's just how I get comfortable.  With pregnancy that was just about the worst thing I could have done.  Most of the information I found focused on the worst-case scenario, the 1 in 1,000 or lower chance that this twinge or that ache signaled a major problem.  Imagine going around all the time worrying about that as an expecting mom or dad.  It just adds to your stress which is, you guessed it, bad for the baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instead would recommend a fairly lighthearted, internet-based week-by-week overview of pregnancy, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://alphamom.com/pregnancy-calendar&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Alphamom's Pregnancy Calendar&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;BabyCenter&lt;/a&gt;.  These sites do have bulleted reminders of when to call your practitioner.  Even these can be somewhat confusing, but I found less so than the stress-inducing books.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do figure out in advance what kind of birth you and your partner wants.  Read up, from &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evidence-based_medicine&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;evidence-based medicine&lt;/a&gt; sources with as little bias as possible on medical interventions in labor, midwives versus OBs (if your country offers a choice of one or the other), etc.  You will want to ask any prospective practitioners a slew of questions about the care they provide during labor and delivery based on this, and it is best to know in advance if you have strong questions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Related to number 2, pick a practitioner you can trust who communicates with you.  If you do that it means that you won't feel the need to research so much that you fall into the scare-spiral described in number 1 because you can just ask your practitioner.  So make sure you know what you need to know about attitudes towards care of pregnant women.  Ask other couples who have recently given birth that you trust who their practitioner was and if they liked him or her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Since it doesn't sound like conception has occurred yet, you may want to consult a good resource on conceiving.  Many people are misinformed about it.  Knowing how a woman's body works greatly increases your chances.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do read up on how to save on baby gear and what baby gear is and isn't necessary.  There are both books and websites for this. There are several good questions on this site too. Examples:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/520/is-an-expensive-stroller-worth-it&quot;&gt;Is an expensive stroller worth it?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2338/can-we-afford-to-have-a-baby&quot;&gt;Can we afford to have a baby?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When it comes time you can either read a newborn care book or in many cases take a class if you prefer to learn a bit more hands on how to bath, change, clothe, and feed a baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to friends and relatives with very young children; they are the most likely people to have a somewhat accurate memory of the time you're facing. People with older kids tend to have fuzzier and distorted memories so their advice might not be very useful (possibly even outdated or plain wrong).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Optional good-to-reads:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A book on newborn sleep habits (what is normal for a newborn, not what parents &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be normal, which is a different thing altogether) written by a pediatrician or sleep development expert that helps you prepare for the realities of newborn and infant sleep.  You may want to try two books that offer opposing solutions for &quot;sleep training&quot; to figure out what your preferred style is.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Books on comforting infants.  There are a slew on the market, find out what worked for your parent friends.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;General parenting philosophy books, especially if you have a particular religious or philosophical background from which you want to parent you may find it useful to find books that teach you how to teach the values you find important to your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T14:09:57.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4370" CreationDate="2012-02-20T14:04:38.650" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost you and your partner need to identify what &lt;em&gt;styles&lt;/em&gt; of learning work best for you.  Do you prefer in-depth technical details?  Do chatty, personable writing styles make it easier for you to absorb information?  You may find that you and your partner will be best served by having completely different styles of resources available to each of you, to best accommodate your individual learning preferences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've identified your preferred styles of books, start shopping.  I find there are three main categories of &quot;expecting&quot; books:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Popular&quot; style books geared towards making the material as accessible and unintimidating as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Medical Expert&quot; style books geared towards presenting as much authoritative, technical information as possible (despite the &quot;authoritative medical&quot; focus, there are many of these that still remain relatively readable, for example: the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553593005&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; provides good information without relying too much on technical jargon).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Specialty&quot; topics are books that focus on one specific aspect of pregnancy or early childhood.  These could cover anything from specific medical conditions to the challenges single parents may face, and everything in between.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether you go &quot;popular&quot; or &quot;medical expert&quot; depends on your preferences, but I would recommend getting at least one &quot;medical expert&quot; book to have as a reference manual, even if you don't plan on reading it cover-to-cover.  While the authors of &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0761148574&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What to Expect When You're Expecting&lt;/a&gt; have a lot of good experience, I'd rather trust actual pediatricians for detailed medical advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also recommend getting books that cover pregnancy, and books that cover the first year of the baby's life.  Most books fall into one or the other category, although some may cover both in sufficient detail.  Once the baby arrives, you will &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; have much time for leisurely reading, so it is best to read ahead while you still can!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For both pregnancy and first year topics, I found a breakdown by age category to be the most useful format.  Since development changes so significantly both during pregnancy and during the first year, a breakdown of each month, or period of 2-3 months, is very handy, particularly if it includes a list of milestones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to summarize:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Identify the appropriate style for you and your partner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get books that cover both pregnancy and the first year of the baby's life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Choose books that have the appropriate &quot;voice&quot; for you and your partner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Select at least one &quot;medical reference&quot; book.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look for breakdowns of developmental periods, preferably with milestones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick up books on any &quot;specialty&quot; topics that you feel might be applicable/interesting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T14:04:38.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3602" CreationDate="2012-02-20T15:34:17.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know the rule you're talking about.  We've had two babies in the NICU (our son in Feb. '08 and our daughter in July '10) and both times our feeding time was restricted.  I'm pretty sure the ideal time was 15 minutes, but we could go up to 30 if we HAD to.  After that, the calories that they were getting were negligible to the amount they were burning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We followed that rule pretty strictly when we initially brought them home, but once it became apparent that the rule didn't apply to us anymore we just let it go (around a month old or so).  My son could polish off a bottle easily in the 15-20 minute time period, and my daughter got to where she would stop herself and would refuse anymore bottle after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T15:34:17.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3932" CreationDate="2012-02-20T16:15:10.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I saw one of my sisters-in-law go through a similar situation with both of her girls (one is five; the other is four), and it looks like I'm gearing up to go through the same thing with my daughter (18 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her girls (and mine) were/are big drinkers and drank/drink A LOT of milk.  They ate (and still eat) very little.  One can make the argument that because they drink a lot, they aren't super hungry at dinner time which is probably a somewhat valid argument.  Unfortunately, when you have a child whose weight and height consistently fall in the 5th percentile and below, you get into the habit of doing whatever you can just to get calories into their bodies.  My daughter and my SIL's youngest still wake up in the middle of the night and want milk.  My SIL's oldest no longer does this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as there is no evidence to suggest that your child is having trouble with his oral development (he can chew different textures, he talks, and does all those things that he should do at his age), then I'd say it's probably ok.  Not ideal, but ok.  He's probably not going to go to college with this same strange quirk.  Maybe you could try weaning him--giving him less and less milk at bedtime until he gets none.  If he's still getting whole milk, you could try switching him to 2% and the reduction in fat might encourage him to eat more solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what you choose to do, it's been my experience that they more or less grow out of it eventually.  My niece did, my daughter is starting to outgrow it, and I'm willing to bet your son will, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T16:15:10.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3748" CreationDate="2012-02-20T20:44:19.473" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem with my son at about that age.  Like Morah suggested, I took the option of watching him like a hawk while he was eating and stopping him if I saw he was putting too much food in his mouth.  I would hold his hand and simply say, &quot;Chew and swallow&quot;.  And after he did that, I would release his hand and he could continue eating.  He learned pretty quickly that there was no need to cram his mouth full of chicken nuggets.  They would still be there if he ate more slowly.  He's four now and doesn't do that any longer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I do still have to use the phrase &quot;Chew and swallow&quot; with him.  Only now I'm trying to teach him to not talk with his mouth full.  Sigh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-20T20:44:19.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4384" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-20T21:14:46.033" Score="4" ViewCount="955" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to know if anyone has any kind of experience with this as it is foreign to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best friend has two little girls (seriously, this is about my best friend.  Not me.).  Her oldest just turned five and, when it comes to eating, is a perfectly normal eater.  Actually, I consider her a very good eater.  She eats healthy foods, she doesn't over-eat, she eats a wide variety of foods, and she doesn't exhibit the normal eating issues I see with so many kids her age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her younger daughter will turn 3 at the beginning of April, and she has always been a BIG eater from the time she was a baby.  She was taking full 8-oz. bottles of formula by the time she was 3 months old every two hours, and this went on until she was almost a year old.  My best friend would have to carry around a can of formula wherever she went so she could always be prepared.  Rarely does she leave anything on her plate at mealtimes, and she will frequently finish off whatever is left on other's plates.  She's not necessarily overweight, though she's probably a little on the &quot;chunky&quot; side for her age.  We've all kind of just rolled our eyes in the past and said a little indulgently, &quot;Well, that's just Avery.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last week, however, my friend got a phone call from her baby-sitter about her daughter's eating habits while at daycare.  It seems that one morning, the babysitter was feeding another baby some oatmeal and Avery came over, plunged her hands into the bowl of oatmeal, and started shoveling handfuls of food into her mouth.  Later that afternoon, at lunchtime, another little boy left the table to visit the restroom, and while he was gone Avery ate the rest of the little boy's lunch before the babysitter could even jump in and stop her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Needless to say, this has my friend worried.  She has worried about her daughter's eating habits since she was a baby.  My friend and I have both struggled with our weight most of our lives, so I sympathize with her and I understand her concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone out there have any experience with this?  Any medical reasons anyone can think of that might be causing this?  I think we all assumed that this was something she would eventually grow out of, but this new behavior has us all thinking that there may be something more to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2019-12-19T17:55:20.783" Title="Help for my friend's pre-schooler who eats too much" Tags="|pre-schooler|food|eating|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-21T01:30:50.150" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Live classes are beneficial because other people in the room think to ask questions that you do not. Babies vary a lot so it's important to get different angles. There is no one DVD that will just tell you &quot;the information.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am glad I had a class with one couple expecting twins. I think of them often and remind myself things could be harder. This is a totally soft benefit but still real. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was also a healthy way for my partner and I to take some focused time and really prepare mentally for the big change coming. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could just pop in a DVD but I think you're going to miss some things. This goes for almost any learning subject. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2301" LastActivityDate="2012-02-21T01:30:50.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4370" CreationDate="2012-02-21T06:51:47.547" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll be the contrarian: read romance novels. Or mysteries. Or whatever type of novels you enjoy reading. You're not going to get a whole lot of reading time once the baby comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for reading parenting books, my opinion is that they are a lot like dieting books. You can glean useful stuff from them, but in the end, it's mostly common sense that you likely already have whether you know it or not, and the items that aren't common sense tend to be highly divisive in terms of opinions out there and reading too many 'experts' seems to only cast doubts upon your own abilities as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always say, if you're asking a question like this, you are already on the right path to being a decent parent. Your intuition and instincts are going to be more powerful than you maybe realize. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-02-21T06:51:47.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4387" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-21T11:48:57.950" Score="11" ViewCount="75099" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, who is coming up for 3 years old has never been a good sleeper. She regularly wakes during the night, sometimes up to 3 or 4 times but more commonly once or twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More often than not she simply wants comforting from her mum, but all too often it turns into a full blown tantrum with the typical tantrum behaviour of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Screaming / Crying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lashing out / Hitting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Head banging / Hair pulling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the day, tantrums are quite rare. She is a very well behaved child for the most part, with what I would consider to be a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; good ability to communicate for her age (I mention this because most advice on tantrums says that the child is having trouble communicating). The problem is that at night she seems to be almost half asleep and totally unable to rationalise or communicate. I don't however think that this is a case of night-terror as she doesn't exhibit the typical behaviour of screaming whilst clearly still fully asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend to deal with this by:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Switching her bedroom light on (I &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; this is bad, but the only way i've found to end the tantrum is to wake her up fully, and the light as we know stimulates her awake)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shut her door (She has a baby sister in the next room, I cant have her screaming in the hallway as it'll wake the baby)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sit with her in her room (I hate the idea of shutting her in there on her own. Although this leads to other problems as she then gets violent with me for blocking her way out. Bit of a catch 22, if I dont sit in front of the door she'll run into the hall and scream. If I do, she lashes out at me).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let the tantrum run its course (This sometimes takes up to 30 minutes, but typically 15. Once the tantrum is over she turns back into the well-behaved child I know. Has a cuddle, and goes straight back to bed without a fuss).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So does anyone have any insight how to deal with this? Am I doing it all wrong? I'm sure she will grow out of it - they almost always all do, but I would like to hear others POV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2302" LastActivityDate="2015-02-07T02:57:59.770" Title="What are some possible ways to deal with night-time tantrums" Tags="|tantrums|night-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4388" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4392" CreationDate="2012-02-21T12:58:30.733" Score="16" ViewCount="129887" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instinctively I try to avoid giving our 1 year old sugar. However, I don't really understand why it is bad for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often when she doesn't want to eat any more savoury food she is more than happy to have something sweet - fruit or yoghurt or sometimes even (I blame her mother!) a bit of cake. At this age she has not been influenced by advertising or other social factors and is acting out of instinct - some form of evolutionary impulse which has aided human development for a very long time. This leads me to think that maybe sugar may have some benefits for infants and is actually quite important for them to have some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realise there is a difference between natural fruit sugars and highly refined sugar. Also in ancient times sugar was no way nearly as available as it is today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What research has been carried out on the effects of sugar, and the effects of different forms of sugar on infants? How harmful /  beneficial is it? It there a recommended daily amount?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T23:00:30.383" Title="What is effect of giving sugar to an infant?" Tags="|infant|food|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4388" CreationDate="2012-02-21T13:28:05.843" Score="6" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Evolutionary conditioning for sweet tooth&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Evolutionarily, indeed sweet foods have offered an advantage to their consumers: lots of calories. Almost all of us - not just infants, but most adults, in fact, most animals too - are attracted by sweet flavours because of this. But especially us humans, since our big brains crave a lot of energy. And even more so for children, who require an immense amount of energy for their growth, and the tremendous amount of physical and mental (learning) activity they perform daily. It is so much easier to get one's needed energy intake from e.g. honey or fruits than from raw vegetables or meat, much less from grass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you note, for a long long time sugar was not available in its pure form, the closest to that used to be honey (or maybe maple syrup in some locations). It was a rare treat, not an everyday indulgence, thus in nature there was no risk of overeating it. Nowadays there is, but we don't have a built-in protection against it. It is now widely known that it can cause tooth decay, also obesity, and subsequently heart disease and other illnesses, but there may be other issues too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Nutritional value (or lack thereof)&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not a medical expert, so this is only my subjective take about the issue. In its raw form, be it in honey, cane or fruits, there are lots of other useful stuff - vitamins, minerals etc. - in the food apart from sugar. These provide nutritional value, and help absorbing and digesting sugar. I have read that digesting sugar actually requires vitamin B2, which normally is present in the honey / fruit, but not in refined sugar. So not only is refined sugar absent of any nutritional value, but consuming it in fact depletes your vitamin resources further. So it is advisable to limit sugar intake, and replace refined sugar with (fresh or dried) fruits, raw cane / demerara sugar etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Blood sugar level and mental / energy state&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also lots of different kinds of sugars and sugarlike materials (e.g. starch). Some are absorbed faster, some slower. When sugar is digested, it gets into the blood, raising blood sugar level. In natural food, sugar is absorbed slower since its concentration is lower, it is surrounded by lots of other nutrients and it may also need to be transformed first into another form of sugar (glucose) which is directly usable for our body. Thus blood sugar level rises gently, and since digestion takes longer, it is sustained fairly steadily for a longer period of time. Higher blood sugar levels make you active, energetic and positive. When the sugar level starts to decline, you get hungry again - and also tired, and potentially angry or in a bad mood - and the cycle repeats. Refined sugar, however, is absorbed much faster, so it kicks up blood sugar levels faster and to higher levels, potentially making one overly agitated. Soon after that, blood sugar level drops, since there is no steady supply, potentially causing a sharp mood swing towards fatigue and depression. That's when a lot of us reach for the next candy bar, to revive and repeat the cycle...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Hypoglycemia and diabetes&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife has a condition commonly called &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypoglycemia_%28common_usage%29&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;hypoglycemia&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. She is very sensitive to variations in her blood sugar level, thus absolutely can't fast, and must get regular meals in about every 3 hours, otherwise she turns into a dragon. She had suffered from an almost manic-depressive intensity of the ups and downs described above, for many years, before she somehow happened to realize it was caused by sugar. Since then, she more or less successfully restricts her intake of refined sugar (fruit sugar is OK), keeping her mood swings at bay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugar_Blues&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sugar Blues&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, hypoglycemia is actually pretty common, just most people never actually realise it is caused by refined sugar. The book also claims that it can turn into diabetes proper if left unnoticed for years or decades. I think the book contains some pretty extreme opinions which I don't identify with (like linking sugar with bubonic plague), however I think there is at least a grain of truth in many of its statements. E.g. as per my wife's story, I can see how in some extreme cases sugar may cause symptoms (mis)diagnosed as a mental illness. Also, its explanation of how prolonged repetition of the above high-low blood sugar cycle may eventually wear out the pancreas so much that it stops producing insulin, resulting in (type 1) diabetes, sounds plausible to me. I would be very interested to hear scientific opinion about these claims.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Effects on children&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are typically more sensitive to such effects, and in my personal experience, refined sugar intake can have dramatic effects on them. On our own (and others') children, we have regularly observed hyperactivity and sometimes very difficult behaviour after taking lots of sweets (in birthday parties etc.), then intense fatigue or hysteric breakdown after an hour or two. So we try to reduce their sugar intake towards the socially acceptable minimum (without being overzealous). IIRC they got almost no refined sugar below 1y, and still not much after that (except at birthday parties etc.) until they started to eat the same food as us adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is only our own subjective experience though, and AFAIK there are no scientific studies to prove this effect (or at least, the scientists conducting such studies may have been singles without children :-).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-02-21T17:37:25.017" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4388" CreationDate="2012-02-21T14:44:02.020" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sugar is &quot;quick energy&quot; for lack of a better term.  If the body is given a choice of energy-producing molecules (fat, protein, or sugar), it will take the sugar first because it requires very little effort for the body to breakdown polysaccharides or disaccharides into the simple sugars needed to push through cellular respiration and generate energy.  Fat and protein require a few extra steps and are, thus, more work.  Likewise, our brain works 100% off glucose (commonly called blood sugar) which is the body's favorite type of monosaccharide. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/family-nutrition/sugar/sweet-facts-you-should-know-about-sugar&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dr. Sears&lt;/a&gt; claims that babies are born with a certain affinity for sugar, and I've read similar statements in other places.  This sort of makes sense.  Breastmilk, from what I understand, has a bit of a sweet taste to it--probably to help encourage nursing.  Obviously, infants who nursed better had a greater likelihood of survival than those who didn't, and mothers of these infants had more children survive into adulthood probably simply because they had more children survive in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't (personally) think that there's anything wrong with giving your daughter fruit or yogurt after she's eaten her dinner or lunch.  Fructose is a perfectly natural sugar, as is lactose, though you have to watch out with yogurt since many manufacturers will add more sugar to their yogurt so always check your labels (some yogurt recipes call for a small amount of sugar to feed the bacterial cultures, but I am certain that yogurt manufacturers are using sugar in excess of what is needed).  Additionally, when your daughter eats these foods, she's receiving other nutrients from the dairy or fruit she's eating (potassium from bananas, proteins from dairy, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all, know, though that there is little nutritional value in cake or candy.  I think (again, personally) it's just a bad habit to start giving kids too much by way of refined sugars too early.  In moderation, as a treat every so often, it's ok, but giving it too much sets your kid up for poor eating habits, and in some circles it's even thought that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugar_addiction&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sugar can be addicting&lt;/a&gt;.  However, if you institute the &quot;no refined sugar&quot; rule, then you risk your kid going crazy with it whenever she is put in a situation when you aren't there to supervise (think slumber parties when she's older, school, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rodale.com/recommended-sugar-intake?page=0,0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Heart Association&lt;/a&gt; came out with a daily refined sugar intake recommendation.  They recommend no more than 20 g of sugar (5 tsp) for adult women per day, 36 g (9 tsp) for adult men, and 12 g (3 tsp) for children.  The article doesn't break down the children's amount into specific ages, but I would imagine anything below that would be acceptable for babies/very young children.  However, the AHA stresses that natural sugars (complex carbs like those found in whole grains, sugars from whole fruits, dairy sugars) do not need to be avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-21T14:44:02.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4387" CreationDate="2012-02-21T14:58:07.743" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a pediatrician, but it DOES sound like night-terrors.  She's right at the age where night-terrors typically start, and her behavior sounds like it's incredibly out of the ordinary.  Some children who are in the middle of a night terror can appear to be awake (eyes open, up and moving around, etc.), but they're not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ujSv2z3MEk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; is a great YouTube video by the HealthScienceChannel about night terrors and the mom in the video describes a very similar situation as what you are describing (daughter appears awake, she's interacting with her environment in a cognizant manner, fighting her mom, yelling, screaming, etc).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:  Does she remember any of it in the morning?  One of the defining characteristics of a night terror is that the child has no memory of it at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA (again):  Ok, so I've been thinking about this and, on a whim, I googled Night Tantrums and it doesn't seem to be all that unusual.  Parents are very explicit:  It isn't a night terror.  I can't find an official resource, but several mommy blogs and mommy message boards report similar experiences.  Some moms reported that they seemed to be tied to growth spurts, others suggested that they found it happened most often when their kids were over-tired when they went to bed.  One mom said that she found out her daughter had an ear infection and once that was cleared up, the tantrums ceased.  Hope some of that helps.  It sucks to be in a situation where you can't help your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-02-21T17:47:37.557" LastActivityDate="2012-02-21T17:47:37.557" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4388" CreationDate="2012-02-21T15:15:24.370" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Short version:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;Once a child is older than 6 months, small amounts of sugar (sugar in moderation) are probably okay, but refined sugars should be avoided, and fruit juice intake should be restricted and monitored (The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends limiting juice intake to 4-6 ounces (118-177 milliliters) for kids under 7 years old, and no more than 8-12 ounces (237-355 milliliters) of juice for older kids and teens.). Too many sweets can lead to obesity, tooth decay, and continuing patterns of increased sugar and fat consumption in later life.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sugar is a form of &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/feeding/sugar.html&quot;&gt;simple carbohydrate&lt;/a&gt;.  Consuming simple carbohydrates allows the blood sugar level to rise very quickly.  Naturally occurring simple sugars aren't necessarily bad, as they often include a number of other nutritionally useful components, such as vitamins.  Refined sugars lack nutritional value, yet are more likely to be eaten in greater quantities because they taste great, and aren't too filling.  Worse, they tend to be high in calories, potentially leading to obesity issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nature.com/pr/journal/v44/n3/full/pr19982253a.html&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; investigated the impact of early sugar introduction on long-term sugar consumption patterns, among other factors.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At 12 and 24 mo, total sugar intake was correlated with total fat intake (both p≥.001) even when adjusted for weight. Total sugar intake at 12 and 24 mo was correlated with lean mass(p=.9 and p=.06). Additionally, 24 mo sugar intake/kg was positively correlated with total sugar intake/kg at 12 mo, p≥.001. Unlike adult data that shows a calorie compensation effect (an inverse relationship between consumption of calories from sugar and fat) the 12 and 24 mo data show positive correlations between high sugar and high fat intake. In addition, there was no correlation between sugar intake and lean mass at 12 or 24 mo. High sugar intake/kg at 12 mo is positively correlated with high sugar intake/kg at 24 mo suggesting a developing pattern of sweet preference. Infants developing a sweet preference may “pattern” their eating habits for later in the toddler years for sugar and fat intake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So higher consumption of sugar in infants can result in higher consumption of fat, and may establish a pattern of a preference for sweet and fatty foods that could persist into later years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;107/5/1210&quot;&gt;This study by the American Association of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; focuses on fruit juices, rather than just sugar, but the main concerns expressed in the document seem to focus on the sugar content of the juice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There is no nutritional indication to feed juice to infants younger than 6 months. Offering juice before solid foods are introduced into the diet could risk having juice replace breast milk or infant formula in the diet. This can result in reduced intake of protein, fat, vitamins, and minerals such as iron, calcium, and zinc.37 Malnutrition and short stature in children have been associated with excessive consumption of juice.4,38&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Teeth begin to erupt at approximately 6 months of age. Dental caries have also been associated with juice consumption.39 Prolonged exposure of the teeth to the sugars in juice is a major contributing factor to dental caries&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For toddlers and young children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Fruit juice and fruit drinks are easily overconsumed by toddlers and young children because they taste good. In addition, they are conveniently packaged or can be placed in a bottle and carried around during the day. Because juice is viewed as nutritious, limits on consumption are not usually set by parents. Like soda, it can contribute to energy imbalance. High intakes of juice can contribute to diarrhea, overnutrition or undernutrition, and development of dental caries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aapd.org/media/policies_guidelines/p_eccclassifications.pdf&quot;&gt;Dental issues&lt;/a&gt; are a recurring theme in professional concern about consumption of sugar by infants (presumably not an issue prior to the teeth actually erupting, but teeth generally start to erupt around 6 months of age, and prior to six months infants should only be consuming breastmilk and/or formula).  The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ada.org/3034.aspx&quot;&gt;American Dental Association&lt;/a&gt; warns against sugary liquids, or using sugar on pacifiers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Another factor for tooth decay is the frequent, prolonged exposure of the baby’s teeth to liquids that contain sugar, like sweetened water and fruit juice and potentially milk, breast milk and formula. Tooth decay can occur when the baby is put to bed with a bottle, or when a bottle is used as a pacifier for a fussy baby. The sugary liquids pool around the teeth while the child sleeps. Bacteria in the mouth use these sugars as food. They then produce acids that attack the teeth. Each time your child drinks these liquids, acids attack for 20 minutes or longer. After multiple attacks, the teeth can decay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pacifiers dipped in sugar or honey can also lead to tooth decay since the sugar or honey can provide food for the bacteria’s acid attacks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-02-21T15:15:24.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3748" CreationDate="2012-02-21T16:00:46.887" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is about the same age, and she does the same thing (woohoo, chewed up cheese!). She'll just stuff her face when eating - so we are careful and always give her small pieces. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found that this is not really a problem during meal times. She'll rarely stuff her face then. I believe this is because all her food is on &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; plate. She knows that the food is not going to be eaten someone else, and that it is not going away. If, by any chance, she happens to reach for more from her plate when she is still chewing, we'll stop her and say &quot;finish first&quot; or &quot;chew first.&quot; If it is the same for your child (i.e. no stuffing during meal times), try to give snacks in a bowl as well (raisins, cheese, etc.) so they know that their food is not going away and that there is no rush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-02-21T16:00:46.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4394" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4395" CreationDate="2012-02-21T20:33:15.960" Score="5" ViewCount="3921" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler is raised in a multilingual environment. I speak only one natively. However, I find awkward and unnatural to speak just one language to him from the argument that this will confuse him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being multilingual is not only about the acquisition of the language but also learning the ability to switch and handle different languages... No way to find a research paper or experience, so perhaps more luck here...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2220" LastActivityDate="2016-07-10T15:18:23.653" Title="Should you talk your toddler only in one language when you are multilingual yourself?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4394" CreationDate="2012-02-21T21:20:38.450" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a friend who is doing a PhD in bilingualism, who claims that speaking more than one language will in fact not confuse a child in any linguistic sense. However, how well the child learns each language is directly related to how much he/she is exposed to it. If you are the only source of your language to your child, speaking less in that language is probably not the best idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own experience with different languages is that I switch effortlessly between the two that I know well, while it's a whole process to switch to one of the two that I'm not really fluent in. This is especially true of the one I learned in my thirties. It takes a good ten minutes to not strain enormously the whole time. So again, it is probably the best thing to do whatever it takes to make your child learn each language well, and in this case that means speaking just one language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going to have a similar situation as you when my son gets a bit older. The advice we got (not from the linguist - from a pediatric nurse) was to use the language of the country we live in when he has friends over, but to use our own language(s) in all other situations. This seemed reasonable to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2012-02-22T14:01:20.913" LastActivityDate="2012-02-22T14:01:20.913" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4394" CreationDate="2012-02-21T21:25:28.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;h3&gt;One&amp;nbsp;language per person.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I speak four languages fluently and can switch between them in a blink of an eye. I learned them all in my early childhood. I believe that &lt;strong&gt;knowing more languages has no negative effects&lt;/strong&gt; except if the social circle deems it somehow elitist. My wife also speaks several languages. Even so, we have limited our use of language towards our 2-year-old son to one language per person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife speaks only German with him, and I speak only Danish with him. He hears me speak both Danish and German with other people. Because we live in Austria, there are exceptions when I speak German instead of Danish, but only when others need to understand what I'm telling my son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could speak three or four languages with my son, but I choose only one in the early years so that he can learn that one well (he will learn another from my wife). I think I would confuse him if I constantly switched language without context or reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Context&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm no expert on this but I would hesitate to use any particular weekday as context for an &quot;English day.&quot; My reasoning is that small kids have no concept of &quot;weekdays&quot; so they don't &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; any context even when &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; know that the context is &quot;weekend&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really want to do this, then perhaps you could connect it to something that small kids understand, like &lt;em&gt;&quot;English after sundown&quot;&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;&quot;English at the playground.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Third language&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This bilingual upbringing is easy for us because the country we live in doesn't involve a third language (e.g. if we lived in England). But I believe that good English skills are immensely important in our international society, so I will add English to the mix in a year or two, or definitely when school starts, but I'm not sure yet how to approach this (stay tuned on this site!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, all our computers have only English software because I prefer it that way. This is not an &quot;educational decision&quot; but will support the learning of English when the time comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-03-05T07:56:53.637" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T07:56:53.637" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4397" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4399" CreationDate="2012-02-22T01:12:49.327" Score="11" ViewCount="717" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is two years old and has never been a good eater. He just refuses to eat anything. He'll usually have one bite of whatever we eat, but that's about as far as his interest goes. How can we get him to actually eat food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2305" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T10:27:01.580" Title="How do you get a child to eat?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4384" CreationDate="2012-02-22T02:34:21.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let's start with standard disclaimers: IANA Pediatrician, Dietician, or Endocrinologist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a witness to a child about my son's age that had the same problem. The reason in my opinion is that food was a reward for him and to top it off some of what was fed to him were bite size &quot;ravioli&quot;. Needless to say that just after 3 years of age this kid was in the top percentile in both height and weight.  What their pediatrician had told them was to follow a special diet and possibly have an endocrinologist take a look if the weight gain continued.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which is what my suggestion be to you.  If the girl gains weight then I would suggest going the same route.  It may be a compulsion, which she might outgrow but it may be something else in which case it could be serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2195" LastEditorUserId="37747" LastEditDate="2019-12-19T17:55:20.783" LastActivityDate="2019-12-19T17:55:20.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4397" CreationDate="2012-02-22T03:58:36.277" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may just have a child that is a &quot;grazer&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician asked us how our daughter was eating a while back and I said she just grazes and doesn't really eat a full meal at one time. It concerned me but the doctor told us as long as she was eating and didn't lose weight and wasn't weak or sick that she was fine. Your best bet is to take this issue up with your pediatrician since they know your child and can track trends in weight and health and give you ideas for how to make improvements since I am sure your child is not the first to have those kind of eating habits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2306" LastActivityDate="2012-02-22T03:58:36.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4400" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4404" CreationDate="2012-02-22T07:47:20.783" Score="4" ViewCount="47408" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've notice that after we wash &amp;amp; air dry our silicone nipples, frequently they will have a light whitish kind of film on the inside. This film survives boiling water sterilization too. I would then have to wash it again with a lot more soap to remove this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does this happen? Is it from the milk fat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/MSk54.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="1922" LastEditDate="2012-02-22T22:11:18.690" LastActivityDate="2021-01-18T14:47:51.330" Title="Silicone bottle nipple, usually has a whitish film after washing and drying? Why is this the case?" Tags="|bottle-feeding|cleaning|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4401" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-22T07:59:10.767" Score="2" ViewCount="1253" Body="&lt;p&gt;We typically start our nighttime bed routine at around 6:30. We bathe her, breast feed her and then try to put her to bed. We know that she is tired because she will rub her eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, she fusses a lot. We hold her in our arms to try to calm/rock her to sleep, but she fusses quite a bit. It would take us 45 - 60 minutes to get her to bed. She probably tires herself out from fussing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't really take a pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can't figure out why she doesn't go down as easy at night as her naps during the day.&#xA;During the day, she sleeps in a rocker. We usually rock on the highest setting, play one of the songs that the rocker somes with and also use a white noise machine. (we usually have the white noise machine going as we are trying to put her to bed at night, too.) I've even attempted to record the rocker song and play it back for her...and that doesn't do anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would be grateful for any help or suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2012-12-12T22:59:24.573" Title="How to soothe a 4 1/2 month old during our night time sleep routine?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4397" CreationDate="2012-02-22T08:15:45.413" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants are much more instinctive than us adults. They eat when their body needs food (although it takes time for them to learn to consciously interpret their body's signals). As opposed to us who mostly eat when it is time to eat. And, as others noted, they differ wildly in their eating habits. Some are just not into eating that much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is otherwise healthy and has more or less normal weight, I would say it is OK. As a wise Hungarian expert wrote: &lt;strong&gt;no child is ever going to starve if there is food available&lt;/strong&gt;. Just make sure that the little he eats is mostly healthy, diverse food, not sweets or junk food snacked in between regular meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it is important to note that the growth of children is not smooth and continuous: they grow in spurts. During such a growth spurt they may eat 2-3 times more than average for a few weeks or months. However, between spurts, they may eat much less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-02-22T08:21:13.173" LastActivityDate="2012-02-22T08:21:13.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4400" CreationDate="2012-02-22T08:55:35.863" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's just scale. Nothing to worry about.&#xA;Actually sterilization won't remove it but add some more...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2308" LastActivityDate="2012-02-22T08:55:35.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4400" CreationDate="2012-02-22T12:32:37.337" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The milk fat is easily washed away, so I would rule that out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think what you're seeing is the dried calcium of the tap water, especially if it seems powdery and can be rubbed off when dry. I think this is what user77907 means by &lt;em&gt;scale&lt;/em&gt;. This is especially the case if your tap water is very &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_water&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;hard&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need not worry about these deposits: according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_water#Effects_of_hard_water&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;em&gt;the World Health Organization says that &quot;there does not appear to be any convincing evidence that water hardness causes adverse health effects in humans.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I installed a water filter for drinking water (and for sterilization, coffee maker, etc.) in my kitchen, and all appliances as well as washed/sterilized items no longer have these deposits. If you're concerned about the purity of your tap water, I recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.freedrinkingwater.com/ro-45-detail.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this filter from APEC Water Systems&lt;/a&gt;; it's the best I could find, and many alternatives were much more expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-22T12:32:37.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4405" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-22T14:19:08.580" Score="1" ViewCount="246" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3.5-year-old daughter was going to one kindergarden (2 days a week) for a year. She liked it there but we were also on the waitlist to another kindergarden where her best friend is going to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two months ago, the new kindergarden gave us two days a week and we decided&#xA;she'll be going to both kindergardens for some time before we can make a decision,&#xA;do we switch to a new kindergarden or does she stay in the old one. At the moment she goes Wednesday to the old kindergarden, Thursday to the new one and on Friday to old one again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But we found one pattern which puzzles us and makes it difficult to make a switch or stay decision: on Wednesday our daughter is very excited and wants to go to the old kindergarden, same thing on Thursday when she goes to the new kindergarden. But Friday is always the problem - she does not want to go to the new kindergarden and looks upset and even cries when we drop her off, but she gets OK later during the day when we call to childcare workers to check how she is now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried talking to her why she is so upset on Friday but didn't get much&#xA;from her. We would think she does not like the new kindergarden, but why then she&#xA;is so excited to go there on Wednesday?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have some ideas on what might be going on or have experience with switching kindergardens, would really appreciate your help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2309" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-27T13:33:50.017" LastActivityDate="2019-02-27T13:33:50.017" Title="How to decide between two daycare institutions after interleaving them?" Tags="|pre-schooler|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4405" CreationDate="2012-02-22T16:42:48.350" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems odd to interlace the locations as you do (&lt;code&gt;ABABA&lt;/code&gt;) -- if you must, then at least make it &lt;code&gt;AAABB&lt;/code&gt; so that there is less change. I believe that changing location &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; day can be a source of needless frustration for all of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As DA01 comments, I would recommend choosing &lt;em&gt;just one&lt;/em&gt; institution. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-22T16:42:48.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4405" CreationDate="2012-02-22T18:38:36.213" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (3.75yo) interleaves a kindergarten and a early learning centre (KEKEK). We have done this by choice: the kindergarten has local kids who are likely to follow him into school next year, the ELC has a stronger academic focus and will prepare him for school. Kinder is half days and ELC is full days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has had zero problems adapting to this regime and loves both of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5 years ago, my daughter did exactly the same thing. Sometimes she would cry when being dropped off at kinder even though it was only half a day and it was with her social set. I suspect part of this was the gender imbalance (19 boys in a group of 25) and partly because she found kinder boring. My daughter is a lot more emotional than my son - she used to cry every time she went to her previous childcare centre because she hated one of the carers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Torben pointed out, your child may have a difficulty with change - some kids do. I have no doubt we did the right thing for our kids but every kid is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, your child has just gone from 2 days a week to 3 - perhaps they just don't want that third day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-02-22T18:38:36.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-23T03:06:00.630" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our class was beneficial for a number of reasons: although I have diapered and swaddled MANY babies before having our own, my husband had never had any experiences with those things. I think it put my mind at ease knowing he had the basic mechanics of those things in hand before our daughter arrived. &#xA;Also, I found it quite helpful that ours was taught by a labor and delivery nurse from our hospital and included a tour. The hospital specific information was far more important for me than most of the labor information, which as others have mentioned can be found online. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our hospital required prenatal classes so it was never a consideration to only watch a DVD and although it was yet another thing to schedule before the birth, I was overall glad for the information and experience - even if you gain even the smallest piece of information or are slightly calmer going into the birth, it is worth it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2012-02-23T03:06:00.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4410" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4437" CreationDate="2012-02-23T03:55:15.347" Score="9" ViewCount="3607" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 and a typical night-owl he becomes pretty active when sun goes down.  This is all well and good but when we put him to bed we can hear him play until at least 11 pm.  That wouldn't worry me as much if he was napping during the day but that isn't the case.  We have to wake him up in the morning and it's pretty hard for him but when he gets going there doesn't appear to be any ill-effects but I am concerned that he doesn't get enough sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any way to deal with that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2195" LastActivityDate="2012-06-09T00:52:53.100" Title="Nightowl at 5 years old. Any way of dealing with it?" Tags="|sleep|night-time|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4410" CreationDate="2012-02-23T04:27:09.223" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our child is also five, so first off; My condolences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've discovered two main things that keep him getting actually tired at bed time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First. If we can really get him to run around in the 4-5:30 time frame (about 1-2 hrs before dinner) he really burns up energy.&#xA;Second. We try to keep his dinner solidly at least 90 minutes before bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've had him on the same bed time for the past 2 years.&#xA;We started with turning the light off and staying with him until he fell asleep. (Hard years)&#xA;Then turning off the light and leaving.&#xA;Finally, we were able to trust him with a book and turning his own light off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latter usually results in him falling asleep with the light still on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastActivityDate="2012-02-23T04:27:09.223" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4394" CreationDate="2012-02-23T08:49:50.513" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the point of the &lt;em&gt;one language per person&lt;/em&gt; rule is to make the child learn to be consistent with the languages in question. (S)he needs to learn properly to use each language &lt;em&gt;exclusively&lt;/em&gt; when the situation requires that - instead of speaking sentences where half the words come from language A and the other half from language B, or words from language A are used with the grammar of language B.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children's brains are very flexible, so once they learn two (or more) languages properly, they will have no problem whatsoever switching between them. However, they need to understand the need to switch, depending on whom they are talking to. And I believe the above rule helps them a lot in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember vividly a scene when our elder daughter was about 15 months old. We were sitting at the dinner table with her, my wife on one side and me on the other, telling her words first in Finnish, then the corresponding word in Hungarian (or vice versa). She was watching us and listening intently, and you could almost hear the cogwheels turning in her head... and then, after a few minutes, we saw a big &quot;a-ha&quot; smile and it was obvious that she got the concept that we are speaking in two different languages! From then on, her language development took to a new level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-02-23T08:58:07.163" LastActivityDate="2012-02-23T08:58:07.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4400" CreationDate="2012-02-23T15:01:10.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are washing the bottle parts in a dishwasher it may also be any rinse aid.  I've noticed a similar film after they come out of the washer.  I simply give them a quick hand-wash with warm soapy water and it usually takes care of the film.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2315" LastActivityDate="2012-02-23T15:01:10.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4410" CreationDate="2012-02-23T18:59:26.947" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put simply - don't allow him to stay up and play that late. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, it isn't always that easy. Other than Andrei's good tips about late afternoon/early evening activity, here are some more suggestions to help (we've got a 5 year old who hates to sleep too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No toys in the bedroom. Remove as many distractions as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/468/what-are-some-dos-and-donts-for-an-effective-bedtime-ritual&quot;&gt;Get a routine&lt;/a&gt; and stick to it. Dinner, bath, read a book, tuck in - etc. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the beginning, stay with him while he goes to sleep. Lights out, no talking, just quiet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were fortunate with our little guy - he wanted mom or dad to lay down with him for a spell around age 4, so we could use that to encourage relaxation - we would only stay as long as he was quiet and calm. There were nights he was still too wound up to sleep so we did occasionally have to resort to punishments - Taking a favorite toy away for the following day if he didn't stay quiet, for instance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More recently we added reading a bit of a chapter book to him at bed time. At first this got him in trouble a bit again - bouncing around the bed, being too active. Strictly enforcing some rules like you must lay down while we read and no interruptions not related to the story seems to have fixed it though - now it's not unheard of to read him to sleep, and when that doesn't happen he still often goes to sleep quietly within a few minutes of tucking him in and turning off the lights. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="44" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T19:21:23.790" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4370" CreationDate="2012-02-23T21:12:24.643" Score="10" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pregnancy&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;week by week development of the baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;nutrition&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what mom is experiencing through each phase of pregnancy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Labor and Delivery&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how to recognize the onset of labor&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how labor progresses until delivery under normal circumstances&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;interventions that may be necessary and their alternatives and pros and cons of each&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;strategies for avoiding unnecessary c-sections/when it is needed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pain coping strategies (both the medicated and non-medicated kind. Regardless of what you think you will want, knowing all the options and their pros and cons can help you build a birth plan you're happy with and avoid unnecessary side effects that could slow down labor or otherwise cause a cascade of interventions)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;complications that could arise&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breastfeeding &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to (unless you are 100% certain you are going to exclusively formula feed, it is extremely helpful to read about how to breastfeed prior to delivery. It is one of the first things the mom will want to do after delivering, and your hospital or birth center may or may not have helpful nurses who are able to teach you how available in the recovery room. Even the support I received at a supposedly breast-feeding friendly hospital would have been completely inadequate had I not read and watched videos about how to in order to educate myself)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Changes in mom's body: transition from colostrum to milk coming in&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Coping strategies to reduce and prevent pain caused by temporary engorgement (compresses, hand-expression, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Signs of improper latch&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby Care&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it's a boy: circumcision (will you or won't you? &amp;amp; after-care if so)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to bathe a newborn&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to keep the baby warm or cool depending on your climate and time of year.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Recovery and healing of the umbilical stump&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Routine care like dressing baby, feeding baby, bathing baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;immunizations...the first one is often given at the hospital, so if you are at all thinking you might be in the anti-vaccine camp, you might want to read up on pros and cons and be ready to make an informed decision on the spot)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;medications (eg: baby tylenol) and other remedies or devices (eg: humidifier) used to treat common baby illnesses and conditions (colds, teething, etc) You may not need to memorize all this yet, but knowing where to reference it when you have a specific condition will save you a lot of time and stress&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dosage charts for common baby and child medicines (there's some crazy laws, with good intentions, that certain age groups be listed on the boxes as 'consult a doctor' which is not so helpful at 4am when you realize you forgot to write down the dose the doctor said or need to administer benadryl asap because your child's mouth is swelling up)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;SIDS (risk factors)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pros and cons of back sleeping vs stomach sleeping (effect on crawling, sids, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hospital policies and procedures&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;this may not be a book (depending on your hospital) but it's very important to know what their policies are that are relevant, and which options are available/not available (eg: at the hospital I delivered at, once you get an epidural you had to stay in bed the remainder of the delivery), so read up on your hospital! If you are deciding between hospitals or birth centers, all the more reason to read up! &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to select a pediatrician&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby Gear&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What stuff do you &quot;really&quot; need?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Safety considerations &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cribs and crib safety (and establish your position on whether or not you will use controversial items like bumpers, co-sleeping vs crib, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Car-seats (and definitely get an appointment to get a trained car-seat inspector check your installation pre-baby, unless you're planning on taking 40 hours of classes to get as much knowledge as they have) and the car-seat accessories that are not approved by carseat manufacturers for safety reasons&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Creating a baby-registry (even if you don't have a shower, you may still want the coupons to &quot;finish off your registry&quot; when the baby arrives)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby Development &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what kinds of skills do babies gain in the early months&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what kinds of toys or entertainment are age-appropriate/useful/fun to have around&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;beginning solid foods (not until at least 4-6 months old, however). I'd consider this optional pre-reading in case you want to decide ahead of time whether you want equipment like baby-food grinders on your registry or whether you want to take more of a wait and see approach, either way, selecting a good book on the topic while you have the luxury of time may be helpful down the road when you get there. But less urgent than the newborn stuff.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-02-23T21:12:24.643" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4401" CreationDate="2012-02-24T02:14:03.613" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The 5 S's would be great for you to try.  They are 1. Swaddling, 2. Side/Stomach, 3. Shhhh, 4. Swinging, and 5. Sucking.  You're already doing the swinging and shushing, and she doesn't like a pacifier, but swaddling could really help.  If she is flailing her arms and legs a bit while she is fussing, she may calm down by having them wrapped tightly at her sides.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://drphil.com/articles/article/274&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://drphil.com/articles/article/274&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That website explains a bit more about the steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2318" LastActivityDate="2012-02-24T02:14:03.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4384" CreationDate="2012-02-24T02:23:37.673" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may very well be a simple case of learning eating manners while not at home,especially if she is new to daycare, but could potentially indicate an endocrine or psychological problem if it continues.  It is important for the mother not to place too much restriction on her daughter for the time being so that she doesn't internalize her mother's concerns and connect eating food with &quot;being bad.&quot;  Your friend should try to control when and what her daughter eats, focusing on a healthy and well-balanced diet, while allowing Avery to decide how much of what is offered to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2318" LastActivityDate="2012-02-24T02:23:37.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4418" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-24T07:23:37.423" Score="10" ViewCount="10887" Body="&lt;p&gt;My &quot;Pack n Play&quot; is easy to move around the house and it contains things I need such as changing pad or diapers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any disadvantage for letting my newborn sleep in this for a long period of time instead of his crib? I am a first time mom so I want to make sure I don't overlook anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/uZ3xg.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;graco pack n play&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1474" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-24T14:32:30.193" LastActivityDate="2017-05-24T09:02:33.740" Title="Is it okay for my newborn to sleep in a travel bed instead of his crib?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4410" CreationDate="2012-02-24T10:41:04.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;( Maybe, he is having a wild hour before going to bed? Then it should be stopped. Are not these karate lessons too late? Maybe he has not enough time to turn off? )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for normal days ( I don't think you have karate daily), I think, he simply needs your attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Often it happened that one of our elder girls (6,4) was too full of energy and constantly tried to do something, even being in bed with lights off. Then I simply told her to lay on the side, to put her hands under the cheek, laid myself behind her and hold her tightly. Sometimes a pair of lullabyes or poems  or a fairy-tales helps. Often I needn't them. Have you seen an ape's child to sleep alone? He feels bad deply inside and has to compensate it by night plays.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For half a year we have started a new system - every evening before sleeping I go to bed with a child and we are studying something. That has two pluses - what is remembered before sleep, is remembered well - and my middle daughter of 4 is getting tired soon and after lights off sleeps in 1-5 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he sleeps too long in the morning or at day? Every person has his/her own norm of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2321" LastEditorUserId="2321" LastEditDate="2012-02-25T20:26:28.720" LastActivityDate="2012-02-25T20:26:28.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4401" CreationDate="2012-02-24T10:51:12.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One more variant: Put her in manduca or other carrier of the sort and do what you need whith her tied on your back or side or breast. So she is kept tightly enough and feels you are near. Mostly that's enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she sleeps at day too long? Every person has her own norm of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope, you are not letting her fall asleep being in bed alone? No child will ever like it. (they can be accustomed though)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lullabyes are fine. Or tell her some poem. Learn by heart Hayawata or something else and tell her every evening. The plot is not important - she only needs to hear your voice. And one more very important thing - thus she learns to &lt;em&gt;listen&lt;/em&gt; - extremely important quality later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2321" LastEditorUserId="2321" LastEditDate="2012-02-25T20:27:43.010" LastActivityDate="2012-02-25T20:27:43.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4418" CreationDate="2012-02-24T13:17:54.067" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're not adding bedding to the playpen (no mattresses, pillows, quilts, etc.) and keep it clean (empty) when your child is using it, it should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a report on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov/library/playpen.pdf&quot;&gt;precautions to use while using a Play pen&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally don't think that a playpen is as comfortable sleeping on a real mattress, and since you cannot add anything to a playpen (safety issue), it just calls for a rather uncomfortable sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-02-24T13:17:54.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4423" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4427" CreationDate="2012-02-24T13:45:40.087" Score="10" ViewCount="2683" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can I get my child to listen to me the first time I ask for something?  He pretends he didnt hear after the 4th time I ask, but it is obvious he did hear me the first time.  He is two years old by the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="283" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-24T14:17:27.543" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T07:11:01.177" Title="How can I stop repeating myself?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4423" CreationDate="2012-02-24T14:13:55.203" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have never worked out how to get a child to listen first time. I have however found that repetition is a good way to eventually get them to listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing and everything is going to plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1020" LastActivityDate="2012-02-24T14:13:55.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4423" CreationDate="2012-02-24T14:48:42.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is frustrating indeed. Our children are 7 and 5,5, so we have had to live with this for years now. I found the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/566/is-the-1-2-3-magic-strategy-for-disciplining-effective&quot;&gt;1-2-3 Magic&lt;/a&gt; technique useful in that at least eventually they are forced to take notice. Of course, the net effect is that they know they can safely ignore the first 2 calls, and only need to react on the 3rd. But this is still better than nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one point, I declared the rule to be that by the time I utter the 3rd call, they should already be doing what they were told (instead of just starting to hastily obey at 3). This seemed to work, but we weren't consistently applying it with my wife, so it gradually got relaxed. Now I am trying to revive it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, I don't think they can be expected to always listen to what we are to say the very first time. Sometimes they really don't physically hear it, or are so much immersed in their inner world, dreaming, that the practical effect is the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-02-24T14:48:42.617" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4418" CreationDate="2012-02-24T15:05:08.997" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a very similar thing; the brand is different but it probably came from the same Chinese factory. We use it as a travel crib and travel bed for our toddler (from infant to 2,5 years). We did not use it while he was newborn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Swati also mentions, there should not be any toys, pillows or blankets because these are a suffocation hazard. And if you use a linen around the mattress then make sure it is snug so he can't entangle himself in it; that's another hazard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, newborns don't need a lot of toys in their crib/pen/bed. Toddlers might want toys and that's okay because they are old enough to be able move themselves or the toy/pillow if it threatens to suffocate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another important aspects -- especially for sleeping! -- is that there is a reasonably solid surface underneath the mattress so that it doesn't sag. The mattress itself should also not be too soft; best would be as hard as the crib mattress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-24T15:05:08.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4423" CreationDate="2012-02-24T15:23:15.730" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;All training requires repetitions before it's really &quot;learned&quot; &lt;strong&gt;but&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;nbsp;these repetitions refer to separate situations. When you have to repeat yourself several times in a row in a single situation, then more discipline is required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, your authority should not be ignored without some form of punishment, and this is something you can train. Toddlers need immediate feedback because they can't connect cause and consequence if the consequence comes much later. So the next time you're ignored, you must act -- you must escalate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In the first many situations, let a warning be your first escalation. Explain what the direct natural consequence of disobeying would be: &lt;em&gt;If you don't put your shoes on now, we can't go to the park.&lt;/em&gt; You could skip this step if you want to discipline more rigorously.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The next step is actually executing that consequence. &lt;em&gt;Don't go to the park.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Explain or discuss what happened and why. This will help teach the connection between cause and effect (disobeying --&gt; punishment).  You can still spontaneously decide to go to the park an hour later, but make sure that the consequence is made clear before &quot;giving in&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If that's not enough, put the child in time-out for a while: One minute per year of age is a basic rule of thumb; adjust as needed. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Remember to praise the child when things go smoothly. Punishment may work, but praise works better if you are very specific about what you're praising. Emphasize the benefits of obeying, again strengthening the cause-effect understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others are saying as well, this will most often not lead to perfect obedience (which would be scary!). My toddler is no angel either and we often repeat ourselves, but we do try to use the above technique as often as we can, and we try to praise him when he does things right away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-24T15:29:15.147" LastActivityDate="2012-02-24T15:29:15.147" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4397" CreationDate="2012-02-24T18:57:35.850" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start by giving him smaller portions. Assuming he is of a healthy weight; if he's only eating a bite of the servings you're giving him, perhaps your portions are too large?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2324" LastActivityDate="2012-02-24T18:57:35.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4387" CreationDate="2012-02-25T23:42:37.517" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;our daughter had, what we were told were, night terrors.  we were advised to not wake her or try to understand what she was saying. we simply made sure she was safe, sang a song, and left the room. she seemed to grow out of it. believe me it is hard to leave them - she would be screaming and seem to be in pain, but i was told, and believe, that she was not in pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;now, she also had bouts of waking in the night and asking for things - water, food, a pillow, anything, and when we would not come she would scream and cry for us - sometimes working into a state similar to what you are describing. this was a different situation - we made sure she was safe and let it &quot;run its course&quot;, as you had said. i think the most important thing is consistency. if you choose, which we found to be the best remedy, to let it run it's course - be sure to do that every night. go to the door once, assure the child that you hear them, but that it is time to go back to sleep - yes, they will continue to fuss, but it seemed to let her know that we were aware of them, but not going to come in while they should be sleeping. it worked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2325" LastActivityDate="2012-02-25T23:42:37.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4359" CreationDate="2012-02-25T23:58:27.530" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a former teacher. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I respected any parent who cared enough about their child to come in and talk to us - it helped when they came in respectful. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many times we found out, after discussion, that the parents concerns were born from misunderstandings.  if they weren't, then we shared perspective and tried to remedy the situation. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they are professional, they will understand that you are the parent and have every right to come in and advocate for your child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I would go to the director of the facility with your concerns and let them handle it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is tough - these are the people who watch your child for a period during the day, and you don't want there to be tension, but if you don't go to the director you will have internal struggles that will make you uneasy during the day - this will only upset you more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2325" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-03-20T00:16:46.310" LastActivityDate="2013-03-20T00:16:46.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4423" CreationDate="2012-02-27T05:06:42.360" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you speak, the child should comply promptly. Rather than repeating yourself, just wait an appropriate amount of time ... long enough for your command to be processed, a second or so ... then if the child hasn't complied apply punishment. For things that the kid knows from previous discipline are not accepted, don't warn or tell him to stop, go straight to punishment.  Your kid is smart, right? He should not need to be told things twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the thing, by repeating yourself when you know full well that you were heard, you are training your child that it is OK to ignore you until the nth repetition, or until the threat, or whatever the actual trigger is. But the trigger should be the first mention.  Don't repeat, don't count, just issue the command, and apply consequences if the response isn't appropriate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do this now (when he is 2), you will save yourself much grief when he is older because it will become ingrained that Dad speaks, kid responds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I practiced this with my daughter, starting around 3, and my wife kept on with the repeated commands and threats. My wife thought I was being harsh, until after a few weeks she noticed that my daughter responded to me promptly. So then my wife started, and my daughter adapted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note: This is a very similar answer to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3094/1004&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;, but the question is very similar.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T05:06:42.360" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4418" CreationDate="2012-02-27T05:17:26.997" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is a safety concern, as long as the child is sleeping on the flat portion, and has a comfortable pad or mattress on the sleeping surface. Take the same precautions for suffocation and the comfort of the child as you do in a crib. If the child is consistently waking up cranky, it is likely that the sleep is not comfortable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big disadvantage I can think of is that you aren't training your child to sleep in the crib.  This could be troublesome later, when you will want the child to nap in the crib (in the nursery) rather than in whatever room you are using at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other disadvantage is that cribs usually have nicely adjusting bottoms, so that you don't have to bend all the way down to lay the child down and pick it up. My wife and I both really appreciated that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T05:17:26.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4410" CreationDate="2012-02-27T05:29:47.263" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize that you have accepted an answer already, but nonetheless some comments are in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, a note. I strongly suspect that the afternoon activities are &lt;em&gt;not tiring enough&lt;/em&gt;. Tell the coaches to really take it to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are worrying about the wrong thing.  Kids sleep when they are tired.  If he isn't tired, of well.  What you need to train him in is QUIET TIME.  Even if he isn't ready to sleep, make a rule that after (say) 8pm is Mommy and Daddy time. If he is awake, he is expected to say in his room and not be loud. He can read books, play, etc., but he has to be quiet and let Mommy and Daddy alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach worked like a charm with my daughter, who is now 20, and had similar issues when she was age 2 through grade school. The issue came and went in phases. We also had to &#xA;make a similar rule for the morning.  We started putting some cereal in a zip lock baggie in a bowl and some milk in a toddler cup in the fridge so she could make her own breakfast for those mornings where we didn't want to see the sun rise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T05:29:47.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4397" CreationDate="2012-02-27T13:45:17.837" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;He will  not starve and fighting with him will only give him attention, possible perpetuating the problem.  Unless there is a weight issue of some kind, in which case speak to a pediatrician, just let it be.  Don't give him snacks until snack time (2-3 hours after a meal) and don't let him fill up on liquids, especially before a meal. I found that when a child is about to make an academic leap they often don't eat well, as their mind is consumed with other things.  Don't sweat it, he will be fine in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T13:45:17.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4423" CreationDate="2012-02-27T16:13:06.243" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition with the other excellent answers, it might be helpful to ensure that you have your child's attention first.  Before asking or telling my children anything, I make sure to call their name and wait until I have their attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking too long to respond (or worse, responding negatively) will result in an immediate consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This pretty much eliminates the &quot;I didn't hear you&quot; excuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T16:13:06.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4423" CreationDate="2012-02-27T17:17:26.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've always used the 1-2-3 countdown method, but as stated in the chosen post, this requires training. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've established some kind of training, 1-2-3 is kind of a universal &quot;there will be consequences&quot; prompter. My training method for this was talking thru the steps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You need to get your shoes on so we can go to the park. I'm going to&#xA;  count to three. If i get to three and you haven't started getting your&#xA;  shoes on, then we're not going. One. Cmon, get your shoes on. Finn,&#xA;  i'm serious, get them on. Two. Cmon buddy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;etc, etc. It won't take very long to get to the point where you can simplify.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;You: &quot;Get your shoes on so we can go to the park&quot;&#xA;Him: &quot;...&quot;&#xA;You: &quot;One.&quot;&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very rarely, less than 4-5 times with all 5 of my kids, I've reached Three. 95% of the time One is enough. Ocassionally I have to go to Two. The benefit to this approach is that it's an established method that works beautifully in those moments when you don't have time to explain anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then he gets his shoes on... or leaves the remote alone, or stops throwin bricks (megablock) at Marceline, or stops eating the cat food. You get the pic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T17:17:26.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4410" CreationDate="2012-02-27T17:33:32.803" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I tend to do around here, here's something nobody has mentioned: It might just be who he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of my kids, 3 of them (20, 18, 10) are normal. My 8 is a morning person. Regardless of bedtime, like staying up late on Friday watchin movies, he's up at 6:30 on Saturday. He also sleeps the heaviest and is easiest to wake up on school days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conversely, his 6yo sister is a night person. She will lay in her bed singing quietly (not every night) till 11 even on a school night. Even on nights when they're in bed on time and she's asleep by 10, she's the hardest to wake up at 7:30 on weekdays. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really hard to do anything more disciplinary with her as she's doing everything ok . . . general evening routine, routine bedtime, routine get ready actions. Then she's in bed, in the dark (shades down but there's some outside light), leaving her sleeping sister alone, not playing with toys, minding her own business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the point is that it may just be his personality. It's possible, that you'll never &quot;break&quot; him of it, but you should absolutely establish routine and time-based boundaries. At some point, as long as he's within the established parameters, you &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; just have to let him be him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T17:33:32.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4307" CreationDate="2012-02-27T17:59:26.983" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is obviously a preference thing, but I would strongly recommend against encasing Bubby in carbonite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand the sentimental value that these things have. The problem is that such a thing that the kids had forever (that gave them a little bit of security and familiarity in not so secure or familiar situations, like visiting relatives or an overnight when the aunt baby sat)  is that the attachment has to stop cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're quite literally taking it away. It's no longer Bubby and it's turned into a keepsake. They will no longer be allowed to simply interact with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 20 yo had a crappy, Walmart, Power Ranger comforter that his mom got when he was &amp;lt; 5. They had it when we got together. When he went to college he took it with him, tattered, stinky and flat. When he moved from college into his apartment, something happened and it got ripped horribly and lost all it's usefulness. He brought it to show his mother and we all lamented the loss of his bubby and he put it in the dumpster. The wife got it out, salvaged several good sections and made him a blanket that we gave him for xmas and we all laughed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will fall apart, but it will increase in value as it falls apart from use than it will ever have sitting on a shelf as a keepsake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="38795" LastEditDate="2020-05-18T13:58:12.990" LastActivityDate="2020-05-18T13:58:12.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-27T18:06:34.743" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The potential that you will learn something makes it absolutely worth it. I have 4 bio children (5 total) and went for all of them. Didn't learn much if anything from the last one but going to the classes &lt;em&gt;put us in the frame of mind for having a baby&lt;/em&gt; and that was as much the benefit as learning a new way to wash cloth diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-02-28T00:33:13.837" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T00:33:13.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4440" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-27T20:17:51.927" Score="6" ViewCount="731" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents asked if we'd like to go on a vacation with some of my extended family. The vacation will be spent almost entirely at a nice hostel; we mostly want to relax and spend quality family time together. In general I've enjoyed these vacations in past years, but the last two times we've tried to vacation with my daughter (now 1 year 10 months) have been extremely difficult. My two biggest problems are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It doesn't look like we can get something with more than one room. This means that whenever my daughter is asleep, somebody needs to be &lt;em&gt;in the room&lt;/em&gt; with her, with the lights off, keeping pretty quiet. (She usually sleeps 2.5 hours in the early afternoon, and goes to sleep at 9pm.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Meals are a central part of the vacation,  with all the family sitting round together. But with a toddler they become very difficult. At home I can let my daughter run around and play if she's not eating precisely when we are. But in any kind of lodging, the dining room is large and crowded with strangers. This means she needs constant supervision throughout meals - which means either me or my wife can't really participate in the &quot;main event.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to all this, there's all the usual hassle of taking care of a kid without our full homecourt arsenal of toys, food, etc. And, on the other hand, there's not much present for &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; to do and to enjoy, except general running around (and getting &lt;em&gt;kvelled&lt;/em&gt; over by the entire family).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the bottom line is, &lt;strong&gt;watching my daughter becomes such a hassle under these conditions,&lt;/strong&gt; that I (and/or my wife) have little time to actually enjoy the vacation itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there ways to avoid these problems and actually enjoy what the vacation was originally meant for? Or should we pass on this particular gathering, in favor of spending family time without vacationing, and vacation time in more toddler-friendly (or toddler-free) circumstances?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note:&lt;/strong&gt; This vacation is planned around a Jewish holiday, during which lots of normal everyday activities are &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Activities_prohibited_on_Shabbat&quot;&gt;forbidden&lt;/a&gt; - including using computers, phones and TVs; driving (e.g. away from the hostel); listening to music. I'd appreciate answers that took this into consideration, though for the purposes of the FAQ-for-the-ages I also welcome suggestions that ignore this limitation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-27T20:50:29.437" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T22:26:03.623" Title="Handling a toddler at a hotel/hostel" Tags="|toddler|travel|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4440" CreationDate="2012-02-27T21:18:09.370" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can relate to your situation. It's practically impossible to combine a lively toddler with any sort of event that is meant to be peaceful, orderly, and quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you won't get any enjoyment out of the trip at all, and you worry that you might significantly annoy other participants as well. Based on this, my honest recommendation to you would be to &lt;strong&gt;skip this year's event.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That might not be possible, or offend some family members, but it seems that the &lt;strong&gt;they have a choice&lt;/strong&gt; between having their peaceful event at the sacrifice of your company, or having your company at the sacrifice of a peaceful event. If you believe that you can't provide both company &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; peace then &lt;strong&gt;choose one,&lt;/strong&gt; or let other people decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; go, then prepare as good as you can. Tactfully inform other participants in advance that they are putting you in a situation you can't gracefully control; there are bound to be disruptions beyond what might be acceptable for the event. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring favorite toys and necessary items. Bring new toys too, especially ones that are appropriate in a restaurant (not disruptive, etc.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, consider some of these questions. I don't need to hear your answer, but your own reaction and thoughts might help you along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it really true that somebody has to sit quietly in the darkness for 2½ hours? If you do this at home too, then perhaps you can begin training a different way before this event.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would it be possible to get a long-range(1) baby monitor so that both parents can leave the room? Of course you won't want to be &lt;em&gt;far&lt;/em&gt; away, but even small children can survive crying the three minutes it takes you from the hotel restaurant to your room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I respect that religious rules are meant to be taken seriously, but might there be an argument for breaking or at least bending a rule in this case? I don't think rules are meant to make your life &lt;em&gt;needlessly&lt;/em&gt; harder. What would the consequences be of breaking the rules if you have no other choice?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Notes:&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(1): Long-range baby monitors are powerful enough to transmit from a 3rd-floor hotel room into the hotel's 1st-floor restaurant. If in doubt, call the hotel and ask whether they provide baby-monitoring equipment -- many hotels have low-radiation equipment that works through the hotel's internal network so they work in the entire hotel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T21:18:09.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4442" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4449" CreationDate="2012-02-27T22:08:47.840" Score="8" ViewCount="3563" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since we plan that my wife is going to be a full-time/stay at home mom, do you think she will need an electronic breast pump? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are first time parents. We do not sure if we need the electric one or the manual one. The thing that we worry the most is that manual pump can't give us enough stock for our newborn. We want to trade off between the cost and the usability.  We understand the benefit of electric pump such as using less time to do pumping. However, as we mention, if my wife is stay at home all the time, is it necessary? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side question: how many day do you have breast milk in stock?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1474" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T07:01:22.160" Title="Do we need an electronic breast pump?" Tags="|infant|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-02-27T23:29:59.753" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Need? No. But I guarantee you'll use it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife used to do it manually. The electric pumps were pretty pricey, but in the haul it was really worth it. Pump breaks at work got down to ~:20. Additionally, she spent a while trying to build some kinda rack so that she could do it hands free. eventually she settled on zipper-cup bras. After getting everything situated, she'd just zip the thing far enough to hold the suckers in place and voila, reading time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extra credit answer: &#xA;Get an ice bucket that you'd use for holding &quot;manual&quot; ice... not sure what it's really called, but when you have ice trays, it's the rectangular bucket you dump the ice in. That thing is the perfect width for the &quot;Lact Packets&quot; as we called them. Lay them flat to freeze, an hour later stand them up in the bucket. New in rear, pull from front.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once we had it organized like that it didn't really matter how many days we had because it all took up the same amount of space. I think at the height of the &quot;what the hell do we have all this milk for?&quot; time, we probably had upwards of a wk in that bucket. Just store whatever you're comfy with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extra extra credit info:&#xA;Storage times. . . In the regular freezer, 2 weeks. In the deep freezer, 2 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[edit] Just talked to the wife, she said that you'll get a 'fuller expression' with an electric one, which IMO pretty much settles it. More per sitting in less time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-02-27T23:46:26.300" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T23:46:26.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-02-27T23:46:32.057" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your wife is going to be a full-time / stay at home mom, do you really need a breast pump? What's the issue with just feeding from the boob? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a full-time mother, I did/am doing this with both my kids (19 months and 4 months now) and it  really isn't a problem. The first couple of months are hard, sure, but as the child gets more efficient at breastfeeding, they are not constantly attached to your boob. My 19 month old weaned off when she turned a year old; and my four month old needs the boob every few hours. In a couple of months, I'll start introducing solids and it'll eventually move to just morning/evening feedings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding has plenty of benefits that made it worthwhile for me - never having to warm up milk, never having to buy, wash, or sanitize bottles, etc. Growth spurts phases are better because you're not measuring how much milk they need - you just let them drink as much from the boob as they need. Toddlers control the rate of flow better from the boob than from the bottle (little risk of over-feeding). Not sure if it has to do with pumping or not, but I didn't have to deal with engorgement either. My daughter, having never taken the bottle, moved directly from a boob to a bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always thought pumping was more if you're planning to return to work or the child is unable to latch (tongue-tie, etc.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-02-28T00:41:44.823" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T00:41:44.823" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4440" CreationDate="2012-02-27T23:56:30.767" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Big family event, sounds like at least a couple dozen people . . . and your daughter is the youngest and only? Really? I could be wrong but that's what it sounds like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we're talking about family. Even distant family that I only see once a year usually goes &#xA;into instinctive &quot;on guard&quot; mode when there's a tiny one toodling about. In other words, you may not need to be as super-attentive as you need to be but that's dependent upon the voluteer vigilance of others. Best way to figure that out is to talk to another family member.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And while you're on the phone with someone, you can follow up on my core recommendation: Conscription. Talk to the family member that you think will be most willing and conscript... ok enlist... them to be 2nd/3rd in command. Someone to help you keep eyes on the lights of a baby monitor or at a toddler running around at dinner time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here I can come back around to my first point. At meal time, with the adults sitting around the table, (if you're like me, you'll be there well after the meal is over just to kibitz) this is the time when all the kids will be making their own fun. It's just pretty much the way things go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if there are no other children younger than say 8, I would suggest that you be prepared to pass this year. Parents of an 8 yo don't necessarily miss having an infant or toddler and may not be willing to help much. This will have the obvious effect on burden plus have the potential for creating social issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the best thing you can do is talk to a couple other attendees and see what they think... see if they, or if they think others, would be willing to play helpsies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-02-27T23:56:30.767" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4440" CreationDate="2012-02-28T00:20:53.730" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am obviously from a different world because we LOVE family events with our 20-month old toddler. During family events, it's not 20 other family members that we're around - it's 20 other loving and trusted babysitters. I barely see my kids during family events and get time to play games and relax. Our kids are the youngest ones around and the first kids of their generation (first grandkid, great-grandkid, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having sad that, napping is difficult. I find that my daughter doesn't even want to go down for a nap with so many people around. She is enthralled by the new place and all the people giving her attention. Her naps are almost always delayed, that or she'll skip it entirely and go to bed earlier, or there'll be people holding her as she is sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't bother taking toys, etc. because our toddler is fascinated enough by her surroundings. I do bring an extra set of clothes, her stroller (someone can take her for walks / ride in the stroller ). I don't bring her &quot;blankie&quot; or favorite toy (fear it'll be lost). I do let her see me once in a while so she knows I am there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For meal times, family members volunteer to hold/play with our toddler as we eat. Usually, whoever finishes eating first in the family will happily go play with our toddler. Sometimes one of us (hubby/wife) just has to hold her at the table (on our lap) as the other eats, and then we alternate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I'd recommend to integrate her into family events instead of skipping them. They are about family, after all - and she is family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T00:20:53.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4440" CreationDate="2012-02-28T03:46:29.833" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like you are really stressed out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of this depends on how willing you are to let other family members play babysitter, and how willing they are to do it.  Not all family members are willing to take over babysitting duties for a relative.  I'm one of those people.  There are some people's kids I will watch, and there are others I won't touch with a ten-foot-pole because of their parents--even if they are my nieces and nephews.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Swati that there is a VERY strong likelihood that your daughter will not nap well because she'll be too interested in what's going on around her.  My son NEVER wanted to nap when we visited my in-laws for Christmas; my daughter never misses a nap when we visit my in-laws for Christmas.  Baby monitors (even shorter-ranging ones) will work fine if you're only going a few doors down.  Really, this is more a situation of you needing to come to terms with the situation more than her.  I would bet money that she will be fine.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask yourself what self-imposed restrictions are you placing on yourselves that aren't really necessary?  We travel with our kids pretty frequently (ages 4 and 1 1/2) and we have found that a lot of time our stress stems from weird restrictions that we place on ourselves that don't really bother or effect our kids that much.  Clearly there are things that HAVE to remain somewhat consistent, but the more stuff you can sort of just let go the easier it will be (like, accepting that your daughter's schedule is just going to be shot).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you're THAT stressed-out about the whole thing then don't go.  Or arrange a family gathering at a better time of year that is more toddler-friendly.  We've skipped plenty of family gatherings because they were simply inappropriate for young children either because of location or time or duration or whatever.  People will get over it and there will be other family gatherings when she is older and more socially and behaviorally developed to handle them.  Traveling and staying in a hotel with a toddler IS a hassle--I agree 100%.  If there aren't going to be things for her to do (places to go or play), there is NO WAY I'd go--family or no family.  My kids would be bored within a few hours and be clawing at the walls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T03:46:29.833" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4418" CreationDate="2012-02-28T04:02:27.897" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yours looks like the one we used for my kids (same brand and everything).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son slept in ours at night for his first four months (in our bedroom).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter slept in it for about the first month then we moved her to her crib.  Second baby and all that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I don't feel like the sleep quality is quite as good in a pack-n-play as it is in a crib.  Other than the fact that my kids seemed to sleep better in their crib than in the pack-n-play, I have no other evidence to support this claim.  Cribs are just firmer and have more support maybe?  Our pack-n-play &quot;mattress&quot; (you know, that padded piece that can attach to the net or the floor?) always seemed to sort of sag in the middle.  Maybe yours doesn't do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T04:02:27.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-02-28T04:28:39.190" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question is if you need a pump or not. If you need a pump, get the electric one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us, the pump was good for storing 'extra' (when mom needs a night off for instance). It was also a necessity for my wife, who simply had too much at time (being a man, this is hear-say, but supposedly it's quite painful to have too much in there. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T04:28:39.190" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-02-28T08:53:45.717" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As manual pumps are relatively cheap compared to electric ones, you may want to see how you do with a manual one. We got a manual one and it worked really well so we never bothered with getting anything more fancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use was simple enough my wife could easily read and not pay attention until the bottle was full - but your mileage may vary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T08:53:45.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-02-28T12:13:22.723" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never had a manual pump, but eventually I switched from my double-breasted electric one to just using my hands. So you might say that I had a manual pump after all! It's really just a matter of technique. Once I got the hang of it, using my fingers was faster, and definitely more pleasant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, a lactation specialist recommended the electric one to me, for reasons of speed. She also recommended freezing and storing for later use in daycare. She said that it can keep up to six months in the freezer, up to 3-4 days in the fridge, and up to 4-6 hours outside it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T12:13:22.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-02-28T12:48:22.327" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had an electric breast pump even though I was a SAHM for 6 months after birth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had had supply problems when nursing my daughter previously, so I wanted to be able to ensure that if the same issues arose this time around I could keep milk on hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was a newborn, I'd nurse him on one side while pumping on the other. It worked wonders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To avoid nipple confusion, my husband would give our son the breastmilk from a small shot glass. Even a newborn can lap like a kitten from it and that's how the hospital here recommended feeding if not from Mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kept 2 weeks worth of milk in the freezer, and it was handy for when he was older and I wasn't home yet for the day to nurse him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T12:48:22.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4453" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-28T13:33:44.250" Score="1" ViewCount="93" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2105/what-should-we-pack-when-going-camping-with-an-infant&quot;&gt;What should we pack when going camping with an infant?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My family and I are going to the beach this July.  It will be the first trip to the beach for my son, my daughter, and my husband.  My daughter will be a few days shy of her second birthday when we go, and my husband insists that she needs a life jacket.  We obviously have no intention of letting her go near the water on her own, and when we do go in the water it will be shallow water and we'll be holding her the entire time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see my husband's point.  Yes, there's the possibility that something &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; happen and she &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; sprint away from us and into the water without us, or we &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; lose our hold on her and drop her I guess.  With four adults (my parents are coming, too), I just don't think it's that much of a concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I agreed that I would post to the community and agree to the consensus.  So:  life jacket or no life jacket?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you recommend life jacket, could you point me towards a place where I can find a life jacket for a child who weighs &amp;lt;25 lbs?  My daughter is VERY small for her age and we &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; hit 25 pounds by her birthday--maybe.  She's 21ish pounds right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T13:33:44.250" Title="Do we need a life jacket for our almost 2-year-old when we go to the beach?" Tags="|travel|swimming|water|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2012-02-28T15:03:59.970" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4440" CreationDate="2012-02-28T15:36:04.423" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also keep the Jewish holidays and so understand the situation.  I am guessing that you are going for Passover, however, it may just be Shabbat.  Either way, here are some suggestions and questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1)is there an Eruv?  If there is be sure to bring balls and the like to let her get her energy out outside.  If there is not then you are pretty much stuck inside the hostel.  Bring appropriate toys and games. And be prepared to play (this may be a great opportunity for other members of your family to get to know your daughter, the responsibility does not have to rely entirely on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2)Will there be other Jewish families in the Hostel?  If so, I am sure there will be other families in your situation.  Make friends with the families with similarly ages kids and let them play together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Meals are hard. Try your best to get your family to eat at the most convenient time for your child (you can always have dessert together later if it is really to early for the adults to eat).  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach your child (as best as she can learn) little songs about the holiday and let her preform at the meal (between courses, when she is finished, etc)  This will of course make you all Kvell, make her feel good, and give her something to do.  Don't worry about the other guests in the hotel, no one minds a SHORT thing from a kid, who won't be very loud anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I usually don't advocate toys at the table, however, in this type of setting bring crayons when permitted, or cars/dolls that she can play with in her seat.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and she can both do this, and your famlily should not miss out on this age, kids are great and resilient.  In terms of her nap, try to get adjoining rooms with someone else in the family so that you all can be together and she can nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, have fun and enjoy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T15:36:04.423" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4440" CreationDate="2012-02-28T20:12:26.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you might still have some time.  Have you considered pointing out to your family the difficulties you face, and ask that they consider looking for an alternative destination that might eliminate some of your problems?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like some factors like having private dining, or an adjacent second bedroom available, might make things considerably easier for you, and put the trip more squarely in your comfort zone.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find that many people forget what it was like with a toddler, but once you remind them, and point out the specific concerns, they tend to be sympathetic and willing to make concessions, particularly if they've been down that road before, and &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; if they're part of your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also noted that in another comment, you mentioned that there will be another toddler there.  Consider pooling your resources with the parents of other toddler.  Four people alternating in shifts to watch two children is less of a stress and hindrance to social interaction than two people alternating to watch one child.  You may even be able to share a single room designated for the children as a quiet napping room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding some of your other specific concerns:&#xA;For meals, try to time snacking and meals to have your daughter be hungry during the meals if at all possible.  The more time she spends eating, the less time you have to chase her around.  Plan ahead, and get other family members to agree to share responsibility for watching her, then when she starts to get antsy, pass her off to the next person.  If that doesn't work, perhaps she can be distracted by playing with her younger relative.  If all else fails, though, be prepared to have one or both of you take her back to your room and miss the rest of the meal.  Hopefully you can make it through without problem, but be prepared for the worst.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For toys/entertainment, pick a small list of fairly diverse types of favorite toys (don't bring all books, for example), plus crayons and coloring paper.  I believe drawing (at least for a toddler) should be permissible on Shabbat, as it isn't &quot;meaningful&quot; creativity, although you may want to double check with your Rabbi, or possibly on Judaism.SE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to her toys, she may find showing off to your family to be sufficiently entertaining to amuse her for quite some time, although this depends on her personality, and how well she has warmed up to the crowd.  Be sure you can take her somewhere quiet if she finds it overwhelming, though, and don't wait until she's overwhelmed to take her there (look for signs of her being uncomfortable).  You may be able to take her for short walks, then bring her back relatively refreshed and ready for another round of social interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T20:12:26.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4440" CreationDate="2012-02-28T22:26:03.623" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we travel with our kids, the key is to try and keep the general routine consistent. Bedtimes, meals, nap times. It might mean sacrificing some to keep that routine consistent but it definitely helps quite a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other suggestion I would have is to try and work with your daughter leading up to the trip. A consistent discipline routine (timeouts) and working with her to sit during meals and not get up until everyone is done. We do that right now with our kids (1 and 3 now) and they are generally pretty good at meal times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For meals, another thing that could help would be to get in practice for going out to dinner. I know it can be difficult at times, but try to take her out to places that aren't fast food or overly kid friendly in the time between now and your trip. Start out with more kid friendly and start taking her to increasingly less kid friendly places. Getting her used to these different atmospheres and circumstances can help quite a bit. We always eat together at the same time and introduce our kids to things we are having. They may not always like the food, but they usually are good about trying it (within reason). And you should always have a back up plan in case they can't stand what is being served. That way you can quickly and easily get it together and prevent some of the inevitable meltdown that will follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are with family, that should help out quite a bit. Make sure they all know (some of them may or may not have kids or remember how kids can get). If everyone is on the same page and encouraging good behavior from your daughter, it can go a long way towards making your outings enjoyable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T22:26:03.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4387" CreationDate="2012-02-28T22:35:50.553" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son started doing something similar but not quite as bad. It turned out that is was largely due to his bed. He apparently could not get comfortable and it was becoming too small for him. We went out and purchased a larger bed for him and the number of instances of that happening have gone way down. He was in a toddler bed before and he moved into a full bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastActivityDate="2012-02-28T22:35:50.553" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4458" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4459" CreationDate="2012-02-29T06:28:59.867" Score="10" ViewCount="52432" Body="&lt;p&gt;A number of diapers (we are using pampers) advertise a wetness indicator. Does this simply indicate moisture or urine itself? I have heard people saying that this is useful for tracking wet diapers specifically but I don't know if it actually functions like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2333" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-02-29T08:02:13.577" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T03:10:48.323" Title="What does the diaper's wetness indicator actually test for?" Tags="|diaper|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4458" CreationDate="2012-02-29T08:07:28.937" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the indicator simply reacts to moisture, not urine specifically.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you're prepared to sacrifice a diaper, you could simply test it with water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was born, the hospital had Pampers diapers with a wetness indicator. When &quot;off&quot; it was invisible, and when the diaper was wet (used), a vertical blue line appeared on the outside of the diaper. This is a very clever way to show first-time parents that the diaper needs changing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These diapers seem to be special hospital merchandise. I was not able to find them in stores, at least not here in Austria. I missed the indicator because it's so efficient, but we quickly learned to live without it anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-29T08:07:28.937" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3441" CreationDate="2012-02-29T11:59:05.763" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I, myself, have a 12 year old kid.  What my experience with him has taught me is that when I talk to him as if he were a grown up, he responds much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't tell him &quot;you have to wash up.&quot;  Instead, I say &quot;when you finish your shower, please bring your clothes to the washing machine.&quot;  When I want him to tidy up, I ask him to help me because I'm a bit tired.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I always compliment his appearance, such as: &quot;oh, your hair is very shiny.  I want to know how you wash your hair, because I want my hair to look like yours.  Wow, today you look....&quot;&#xA;I never finish, but instead hug him.  He acts shy, but he likes it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am trying to say is that we know our children more than any others.  We just have to improve our communication with them and move it to their level.  We have to stop teaching them, and instead be their friend.  Imam Ali said: &quot;play with your children for 6 [years], teach them for 6, and be their friends for 6.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that I have helped you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2335" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-03-01T14:07:34.763" LastActivityDate="2012-03-01T14:07:34.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4461" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-29T14:10:22.867" Score="10" ViewCount="492" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the early stages of language development, children goes through milestones such as  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speech blurbs,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Single words, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;double words, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use of verbs &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;full sentence  etc. &#xA;[I may be limited in my knowledge so correct me if so]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now by the age of 2.5 to 3 (and in case of my kid it is at 3.5 years) children do express themselves reasonably well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are many kids at four which are very clear in their expressions just like any other adult and are also comfortable expressing ideas at a bit more complex and abstract levels; where as in my kid (also observed in some kids) manage to speak only actionable (often not very fluent) or in other words their ideas are restricted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: what are the milestones of language (and if you consider it as cognitive) development of children &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; the are able to get basic speech? How do they evolve from there both in developing their languages and their understanding of details of the world? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PLEASE NOTE: i don't know if cognition and language are two independent things. I, as a parent, only want to be knowledgeable about a typical growth path that children follow (or are expected to follow) after basic speech is achieved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1770" LastEditorUserId="2346" LastEditDate="2012-03-05T04:14:33.133" LastActivityDate="2012-03-09T17:49:20.303" Title="Language Developmental Milestones of Children at higher stages?" Tags="|development|language-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4462" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-29T16:10:04.573" Score="44" ViewCount="633509" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a two week old child. He's eating well during the day, eating at least 8 times a day, and is breast feeding. His weight gain has been 'normal' so far, and he regained his original birth weight by 10 days. We're getting conflicting advice on how to handle feeding at night time. We have heard:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;feed him every 2-3 hours, just like during the day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's ok to leave it 4-5 hours at night, as long as he doesn't wake up and 'ask' for food&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;let him sleep as long as he wants, and feed him when he gets up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any studies or definitive answers out there for this? How should we handle the night time feeds? Sleep is obviously good for the wife and I, but how much food do we need to get in?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="451" LastActivityDate="2016-07-14T17:45:49.357" Title="Do I really need to wake my newborn to feed him?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|breastfeeding|feeding|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4463" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-02-29T16:15:14.020" Score="35" ViewCount="222855" Body="&lt;p&gt;How quickly do I need to jump on changing a dirty diaper? What are the downsides of waiting vs getting right to it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two specific scenarios in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm holding my son during the day time, and he lets one fly. Should I interrupt what I'm doing to get him cleaned up? Should I wait for a bit to make sure he's done? If he's not unhappy about the situation, can I just wait?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's nighttime and he's sleeping. We can get through a feed with him waking minimally, eating, and then going right back to sleep. However, changing a diaper wakes him up completely and makes it much harder to get him back to sleep. Can we just leave it if he's not complaining and he isn't developing diaper rash?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is an infant (currently 2 weeks), how does the advice change with age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="451" LastActivityDate="2015-12-04T17:50:50.407" Title="How quickly do I need to change my newborn with a dirty diaper?" Tags="|sleep|diaper|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4418" CreationDate="2012-02-29T18:49:08.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of our children slept in a portable pen for at least their first year, and there were no problems. One thing nobody else has mentioned, but was a big selling point for us, is the benefit of the child being able to sleep in their own bed when you travel, stay in a hotel, visit family, etc. Having that familiar environment can make a huge difference!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2012-02-29T18:49:08.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4336" CreationDate="2012-02-29T18:58:58.397" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife delivered our second child naturally, so the things we learned in our lamaze class (from before our first child was born) were definitely put to good use. A lot of people have already mentioned that the mother feels more prepared just having gone through the class, and I can attest to that. One thing to realize though is that the mother has no way of knowing how she will feel in labor. We spent a lot of time practicing the techniques for our first baby (I mean a lot), but during labor my wife didn't want any of it. It all rubbed her the wrong way for some reason, and neither of us knew why. For our second child, we did a few practice sessions to brush up on the techniques right before the child was born. The second experience was totally different. The techniques she had hated during her first labor really helped during her second labor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you would have asked me about prenatal classes after our first child, I would probably have said it was a waste. But it definitely came in handy with our second child. I would definitely recommend it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2012-02-29T18:58:58.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2012-02-29T19:21:20.147" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes you can wait.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you can't be interrupted (like when you're driving), you should change the diaper &quot;reasonably fast,&quot; meaning &lt;strong&gt;within ten minutes or so&lt;/strong&gt; during the daytime. That's a very rough guideline though. Here are some considerations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It varies how well children handle nighttime diaper changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you can change during the night, do it. That is most comfortable, leads to longer sleep phases (good for mommy and daddy!), has less risk of leaking, and less risk of developing a rash.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If nighttime changing doesn't work well, either try training it, or make a habit to change as late in the evening + as early in the morning as possible. At two weeks of age, you all have not yet have time to adjust yet; it might still work out so don't give up the training just yet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;With newborns, my experience is that it's all in one go, so you would not need to wait at all. By the time you've got him undressed, enough time will have passed already. But beware of rogue peeing :-) this often happens within seconds of removing the dirty diaper. Have a washcloth ready to cover the privates.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Infants and toddlers often take a few minutes to finish. With infants, just wait a few minutes and then change. With toddlers, you might be able to use this time for potty training, but that's another story.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Generally, waiting a little while does no harm. An exception is if the diaper area is already irritated or infected, in which case the diaper should be changed as soon as reasonably possible as to prevent extending the condition.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Finally, &lt;em&gt;waiting&lt;/em&gt; usually means &lt;em&gt;smelling&lt;/em&gt; so there will likely be a natural limit to how long you will be willing to wait :-)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;And of course there will be situations where you simply don't notice for a looong time. Don't worry yourself over that, it just happens.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-29T19:21:20.147" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2012-02-29T19:25:03.963" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as he is getting enough in each 24-hour cycle, and he remains on-course on his weight chart, and if he can sleep 4-5 hours between feedings, then go with that and &lt;strong&gt;don't wake him up.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would only wake him if there's reason to be concerned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-02-29T19:25:03.963" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2012-02-29T21:02:17.867" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the literature I can find about infant sleeping has to do primarily with waking habits, not eating habits. So I would not be surprised if these recommendations (which I have heard before) have little support from rigorous peer-reviewed scientific research. That doesn't mean that the recommendation isn't useful, it simply means your mileage may vary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother is a lactation consultant, and the way she had us make sure our infants were getting enough food is the number of wet and soiled diapers in a 24 hour period (I can't remember the exact numbers right now). Either way, it just goes to show that despite how much research there may or may not be on the subject, there is still no general consensus in the field.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you have been given specific warnings, I would recommend taking advantage of whatever nighttime sleep opportunities your infant affords! Of course, you still have to pay attention to body weight, other physical growth, etc. But my experience with my children, my nieces, and my nephews is that most infants are pretty good at &quot;asking&quot; for food when they need it. You only need to intervene if your child has a problem recognizing the signals his/her body creates when it's hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2012-02-29T21:02:17.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2012-03-01T10:22:20.243" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let him sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was born a bit on the small side, with low blood sugar and a small problem with maintaining body temperature (in the first days). We were told we have to wake and feed him every three hours, mainly because of the blood sugar issue. But after two weeks, we were told this is no longer necessary, and that we can now wait for 4-5 hours between feeds during the night. If your baby is of normal weight and has no health issues, I would guess that letting him sleep as long as he likes is really OK. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-03-01T10:22:20.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2012-03-01T13:37:14.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, babies tend to wake up by themselves when they get hungry. In most cases the baby knows best when it needs food. Both my sons slept up to 4-6 hours a night, and their weight was following the normal growth statistics that was ideal for their length. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So unless there are signs that your child does not get enough food during the 24-hour cycle (based on &quot;diper fillings&quot; and weight gain), you can let him sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastActivityDate="2012-03-01T13:37:14.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4294" CreationDate="2012-03-01T22:26:56.907" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this works at all schools, but every year, my wife writes a letter to the registrar at our children's schools.  She describes our children: their strengths, weaknesses and learning styles.  It may be luck, but so far we seem to have gotten good teachers who were a good fit for our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-03-01T22:26:56.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4423" CreationDate="2012-03-02T06:44:02.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The children want to be winner all the time. So tell the instruction. Then say lets see how fast you can work on this .. (lets see how fast you put on your shoes).. zero, one, two -- &#xA;Many times the child will not listen this far -- so say 'too bad, you are a good boy / gal but going into the range of bad boys/gals. Come on, I can reset the counter once if you get up immediately.' Then if the child gets up (I expect him / her to do so at this stage), reset the counter, zero -- and the child wins since he has put on the shoes at 'zero' number itself. Declare him to be 'hero'!&#xA;This works for my child, 7 years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2341" LastActivityDate="2012-03-02T06:44:02.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4475" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4508" CreationDate="2012-03-03T15:59:20.240" Score="3" ViewCount="9833" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know of any way to get Gentian Violet off of a baby's mouth/lips? We have to give him 2 more doses I believe and he is already a purple mess after the first dose. I realize that the mouth, teeth and tongue are going to be stained. But surely there is a way to remove some of it from all over his mouth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-20T12:43:55.440" LastActivityDate="2019-09-14T04:46:24.523" Title="How to clean a baby's mouth from Gentian Violet?" Tags="|infant|cleaning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4418" CreationDate="2012-03-03T16:14:35.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first-born slept in a portable crib up until 5 months old (always wrapped in a blanket, not tucked in) and in travel-coat up until 2.5 yo when we finally settled somewhere and got him a &quot;real&quot; bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We Didn't have any issues. As long as you are careful to keep them clear of toys, position them safely, and all other SIDS prevention-related practices are followed, there's no reason for it to not be &quot;okay&quot;. Apart from your conscience, maybe, if you feel like it's akin to putting your child in a disposable cage. I was fine with that :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Update&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our second one slept in similar beds as well: portable crib until about 5 months old, and the same folding beyond 1yo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same recommendations: usual SIDS-prevention practices to follow to make the crib/bed a safe environment, and it's totally alright.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2013-09-04T17:54:24.040" LastActivityDate="2013-09-04T17:54:24.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4477" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4478" CreationDate="2012-03-04T00:45:48.487" Score="11" ViewCount="4262" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two (almost 2-year old children) have started going to a day care centre a couple of days a week - they seem quite happy there and it's all going well. The centre has a learning framework for the early years and has asked us what our learning objectives and goals were for our children. The framework lays out goal areas such as developing a sense of well-being, showing confidence and independence, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I am simply wondering whether my kids should actually have goals at such a young age. If you have objectives, then you must also think about performance (are objectives being met?) and what you do with it (if objectives are not met, then what?). My instinct tells me this is all overcooked, that my children will soon enough be under scrutiny and required to perform (against standards, others, themselves, etc.), and for the rest of their life (at school, at work, outside, etc.). Doesn't putting objectives on them so early put unnecessary pressure on them (and us)? Am I missing something altogether?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1408" LastEditorUserId="1592" LastEditDate="2012-03-04T05:26:46.167" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T03:15:40.473" Title="Should toddlers have learning goals?" Tags="|toddler|learning|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4477" CreationDate="2012-03-04T01:35:38.160" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The distinction here, as you've noticed, is between setting goals and applying pressure.  &lt;strong&gt;The difference is whether the focus is on the behaviour of your child or of the centre &lt;em&gt;towards&lt;/em&gt; your child.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;From the centre's perspective, I suspect they're simply trying to figure out what you, their clients, want from them.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I would like my daughter to be able to read for herself before she starts school, as I started reading at a very young age, and believe that it made me more confident in my early years. I would also like her to be comfortable expressing herself when she is unhappy or lacks confidence, so that I know when she needs me to support her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other parents may simply want their child to be able to play nicely with other children of her own age, or have very strict learning goals based on academic research. Still others may want to have some time to indulge in adult pursuits like getting coffee with friends or spending time as a couple, &lt;em&gt;which is entirely sensible after 2 years of near-100% parenting&lt;/em&gt;, and simply want their child to be in a safe, nurturing environment during this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;One key thing that I would want is the assurance that the school will be providing support rather than pressure&lt;/strong&gt;. If they're exposing your children to influences that will encourage them (e.g. reading &lt;em&gt;time&lt;/em&gt;), that's one thing, but if they're assessing them and finding them wanting (e.g. reading &lt;em&gt;tests&lt;/em&gt;), that's very different, and I would agree with you that at this age, that would be pressure that might be counterproductive (caveat: personal opinion, not backed by statistics) as it could make your child less confident/more neurotic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Best People to Discuss These Concerns With are the Staff at the Centre.&lt;/strong&gt; You clearly have valid concerns, and they are the best equipped to explain how any goals and objectives you set will be used. At the same time, the fact that you're raising these concerns with them will give them insight into what you're looking for from them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the goals themselves go, the first step towards achieving anything is to work out roughly what you want to achieve. We have desires and expectations for our children even before they're born, even if it's as basic as &quot;decent human being&quot;, and working out what those desires are at this stage allows you to tailor &lt;em&gt;YOUR&lt;/em&gt; behaviour to encourage theirs. This does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; mean that you are assessing &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt;, rather &lt;em&gt;yourself&lt;/em&gt; and the others who you've trusted to care for them. &lt;strong&gt;If these goals turn out to be unrealistic or counterproductive, you can ALWAYS drop them or reassess them&lt;/strong&gt;. (For example, if my daughter turns out to enjoy art and/or sport over reading, my goals would change to match her wants and needs).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-03-04T01:56:07.717" LastActivityDate="2012-03-04T01:56:07.717" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4479" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4482" CreationDate="2012-03-04T15:46:01.070" Score="5" ViewCount="637" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to find some Nintendo DS games to encourage two primary-school brothers to get along a bit better. I thought some collaborative games would be good in order to encourage them to work &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; each other instead of _against each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What factors make a computer game collaborative?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1602" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2012-08-03T21:17:53.477" LastActivityDate="2020-01-12T20:31:16.303" Title="What factors encourage collaborative play in Nintendo DS games?" Tags="|primary-schooler|video-games|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4480" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4481" CreationDate="2012-03-04T18:03:23.230" Score="5" ViewCount="243" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have toys that can't be laundered? What are some good ways to clean these infant/toddler favorites?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read somewhere that putting them in a sealable plastic bag and putting them in the freezer kills the dust mites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would you clean the surface of dirt?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T20:46:51.973" Title="What are good ways to clean plush toys?" Tags="|toys|cleaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4480" CreationDate="2012-03-04T19:03:44.713" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try laundering the toys anyway if you believe that they would be suited for it despite their label. Of course don't risk it with the most precious toy...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually though, nonlaunderable (is that a word?) toys have instructions how to care for them. That most often boils down to &lt;strong&gt;wiping the surface with a cloth &lt;em&gt;moist&lt;/em&gt; with lukewarm water and mild soap.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this will (after some repetitions) remove the most obvious dirt from the surface, it won't get rid of the dirt that's stuck deeper in the plush, or in the filling. For this kind of dirt, you're kind of stuck between laundering or doing essentially nothing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Proper deep-freezing would potentially take care of mites, but it has to be a deep and long freeze - not just the fridge's ice tray. Note that will not &lt;em&gt;remove&lt;/em&gt; the mites, just kill them. Those dead mites might in turn become food for new mites later on, and for bacteria. And the bacteria won't be killed by deep-freezing, by the way. Thinking about this gets gross pretty fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best advice to me (although not very useful in your current situation) is to &lt;strong&gt;start out with toys that &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; machine washable,&lt;/strong&gt; for exactly this reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-03-05T09:15:24.133" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T09:15:24.133" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4479" CreationDate="2012-03-04T21:19:55.793" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went and looked at your original question, and it was pretty specific but it was a solid and answerable question. It's unfortunate that it doesn't follow the technical rules of this forum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What factors make a computer game collaborative?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, for cooperative factors in games, you should look for games that disregard individualism, and for the Wii there are plenty. There are many games that have a single score for all players. On the Wii, Kirby's Epic Yarn is a good example as every players pickups go into one big pile (you also can't die so it's great for younger kids). But this is a very rare theme in video games. There are also games that reward assisting in some way. This is less rare, but I don't know of any kids games that do it; the assist is a rather high-minded concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's going to be difficult to find games with these concepts tho. Big Media doesn't really focus on this kinda thing so you won't find it in the ads or other marketing material. You'll just have to muddle thru it. 2nd-hand game stores are excellent for this reason. If a game doesn't hit your mark, trade up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to your original title, 6 &amp;amp; 8 yr old boys arent' going to learn collaboration from video games. While they may learn highly abstract things like how to learn a process, how they react to risk/reward and typical action/consequence, they will not learn collaboration from anyone but you and really only with significant interaction. Boys this age will &lt;em&gt;require&lt;/em&gt; clear interaction and coaching while playing in order to learn the how-to's and benefits of collaboration. IOW video games won't teach many tangibles on their own, but will support the things that you say to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids (6g, 8b, 10g) have been playing &lt;a href=&quot;http://store.steampowered.com/app/105600/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Terraria&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.minecraft.net/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Minecraft&lt;/a&gt; for &lt;strong&gt;months&lt;/strong&gt;. These games teach the abstracts I mentioned, but to the kids they're simple and easy-to-master adventure games. Real quick here, these are what they call 'sandbox' games. It's an open world where the player can adventure, build a town from dirt (or wood or stone or diamone) and typically have to manufacture their own tools and goods from stuff you find in the game. My description doesn't do them justice, but I've been pleasantly surprised with how well the kids play together in these games. They are their own community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a couple years, my 8 yo has loved playing games with me (46) and my now 18 yo. He likes hangin with the boys. But, as 5-8 yo's go, he played selfish... racing for health when he doesn't need it, getting the upgraded boots or whatever when he's already got a pair etc etc... I had to force him to not play and watch how me and the older one play to watch how we take care of each other in the game because the 18 learned those same lessons from me many many moons ago. It took a while, about a 6mos-1yr before he was able to play cooperatively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there's a couple of things here. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you're playing 3 way, you'll be interacting and teaching. I can't stress enough the importance of this. I guarantee they'll hound you to play regularly primarily because it was fun just learning directly from dad. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turn off the competetive player. I'm not saying let them win, I'm saying don't play all out. If you smash them at every turn, it's the same as running roughshod over them when playing football in the back yard, and you wouldn't do that... well if you would, don't. I never LET them win. I win most of the time because i have 40 yrs with my face in a screen. But the day will come, and it's happened in our house, that the 8 yo beats big bro and dad in the 3 way. . . and when he does it's sweet &lt;em&gt;sweet&lt;/em&gt; potatoes because he did it on his own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speaking of football, playing an hour of Super Smash Bros with your kids is no different on the family dynamic than an hour of tossing a ball in the back yard.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't give a &lt;em&gt;CRAP&lt;/em&gt; what &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;ANYONE&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; says about video games, my experience says that they're no different than any other media when it comes to teaching kids: The kid will take away from it what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; give them. If you park them, they get nothing. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to interact every time, cuz sometimes it's fun to just play. But if that's all they ever do, they're not getting much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line here is that you can get games with collaborative factors, but if you're there coaching and interacting and just being a dad, those technical factors in the game really don't matter. You can teach cooperation in any game; the game sometimes just makes it easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, since it's supposed to be fun, you have to do the goofy crap too... like jumping continually thru the game &quot;why are you doin that dad?&quot; &quot;I'm jumpin' rope.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then they learn things that you wouldn't expect... since the 3 computers are in diff parts of the house, the 6yo is learning to keybroad, believe it or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-03-04T21:19:55.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4477" CreationDate="2012-03-04T21:46:12.767" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The centre has a learning framework for the early years and has asked us what our learning objectives and goals were for our children. The framework lays out goal areas such as developing a sense of well-being, showing confidence and independence, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with you that setting goals for children at such a young age is almost never a good idea. If the wording above comes from the day care centre, it is a bit worrying. You should clarify with them what their actual approach, methods and practices are. If possible, sit in a couple of times to check what's actually happening during classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may turn out that they are perfectly OK, and your children is in good hands. The centre may simply try to &quot;sell&quot; themselves to demanding parents, who nowadays may be too much goal oriented, want their children to &quot;develop&quot; and &quot;perform well&quot;, and look for places which do not &quot;just let them play all day&quot; (which is actually the best way for children of this age to learn, to develop their cognitive, mental, emotional etc. skills and to discover the world).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OTOH they might really mean this &quot;learning framework&quot; for real, with special lessons (foreign languages etc.), exercises, good / bad points and whatnot. In which case I would flee with my kid as fast as I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some subjective thoughts about the goals listed above:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Developing a sense of well-being - to be frank, I can't imagine how this can be learned or taught. To me, either a toddler is having this, or not. If (s)he is not feeling happy, secure and loved, the problem is almost always with us parents / teachers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Showing confidence and independence - this varies greatly among children (and adults too, for that matter). As @deworde notes in his answer, supporting the child and offering opportunities (plus guidance and mentoring) for her to learn how to deal with social challenges, such as meeting other persons, performing in front of others (nothing more than singing a short song at this age) etc. is perfectly OK, but setting and checking goals is definitely not. Children develop at wildly different rate and have different personalities. If done badly, such &quot;learning&quot; may attempt to force them all to behave like extraverts, which can be extremely frustrating and even damaging for the approx. 30% of the population who are introverts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastEditorUserId="2068" LastEditDate="2012-03-04T21:56:09.337" LastActivityDate="2012-03-04T21:56:09.337" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4484" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4658" CreationDate="2012-03-05T02:59:56.203" Score="6" ViewCount="475" Body="&lt;p&gt;When it's time to teach my child (she's 4 months old right now) her ABCs and 123s, I'm interested in also teaching her the building blocks of music. Intervals, scales, triads, etc. My thinking is, in the same way that we can from sentences and do simple math without thinking about it, I want to give my child the gift of being able to form simple melodies and songs &quot;without thinking about it&quot;. With this foundational knowledge, if she chooses to pursue music as a career or as a hobby or w/e, I feel that she'll have an easier time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, I was taught to read, write, and perform simple arithmetic in grade school. Ultimately, I prefered math over language arts or social sciences, and eventually went to school for engineering. I didn't reallt enjoy or appreciate my english and history classes all that much. Today, however, I find myself going to to read classic texts, as well as seeking a more detailed understanding of history. I am greatly appreciative that I, a) know how to read, and b) have a basic enough understanding or literature and history to know what to look for. With music, however, I've had to start from the ground up and I've found it difficult (despite my few years learning saxophone in middle school). To that end, i'd like to provide my daughter with the tools she'll need in order to appreciate and understand music, and ultimately create it (if she wishes). If she ends up not caring for music at all, I don't think she'll be any worse off with this knowledge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, what are some resources I can use for establishing an age-appropriate curriculum along these lines? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2346" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-03-06T15:48:44.823" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T02:54:13.760" Title="How and when might I start teaching the language of music?" Tags="|education|music|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4485" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-05T06:06:17.127" Score="12" ViewCount="4162" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent and I haven't done as much research as anyone on this website.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question is motivated by looking at many of my friends.  Sometimes, I find that one sibling is a high achiever, moral person, etc., while the other sibling is addicted to drugs, robs stores, and is overall an immoral person.  Both children had the same parents yet grew up to be wildly different from one another in so many ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any evidence that the parenting makes a big difference on who the child becomes?  Any accepted research on nature vs nurture in parenting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="877" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T09:51:23.550" LastActivityDate="2020-08-12T15:34:42.370" Title="How much of an effect does parenting style have on a child?" Tags="|behavior|morals|parents|personality|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4485" CreationDate="2012-03-05T07:36:13.190" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answering the topic question: How much of an effect does parenting style have on a child? &lt;em&gt;My answer: 100%.&lt;/em&gt; That is to say that 100% of parenting style has an effect, not that parenting style determines 100% of personality. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answering the question at the end of the text: Is there any evidence that the parenting makes a big difference on who the child becomes? &lt;em&gt;My answer: Absolutely.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For proof of these answers, I can only submit my own experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was telling people the last month or so that the best thing my parents did was move from our home town. Most of my family that lives in that city turned out to be shiftless, drug-addled, ambition-free nobodies. I am convinced that growing up nowhere near my dropout older cousins saved my life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are people that had no strong male figures in their lives providing either direction or example. Mothers were more of a very sweet housekeeper than mother and fathers were harsh and simply not interactive. This lack of parental direction led them to shortened high school careers and a lifetime of squalor. As directionless as my own upbringing was, had I been local to these people during my hs years (when I was bored with the books and growing responsibility) the temptation to go hang with my cuz and smoke &amp;amp; drink may have been too tempting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conversely, as I've said a number of times around here, I can see a measure of success of my method in my reasonably successful 20 yo and it gives me confidence as I deal with my 18, 10, 8, 6 yo's. At 20, he's got more ambition and direction than I had till I was probably 30. They're all different personalities and require different approaches, but that simply comes with the territory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't just give lip service when I say I love my kids. I interact, play, teach, chill, etc etc. I give them focus, family and friendship. I give them roots. And as they get older, I give them wings. I got none of this coming up, and I believe that because I was just generally in a better environment than my cousins (suburbia of a midwest city as opposed to the urban center of a large southern city), once I had the opportunity to make my own choices (mid teens) I didn't make the wrong decisions. I had time to figure things out on my own without anybody pressuring me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your experience with the difference between siblings can be explained, &lt;em&gt;in my opinion&lt;/em&gt;, by simple parental favoritism. My 2 oldest, when they were kids, felt the other was the favorite. They're both step sons, and i get that it's absolutely normal. The younger set does not have that anxiety as avoiding outward favoritism is a huge part of my method... why? Because I was/am not the favorite and I know how much is sucks. And when a person discovers that fact, it's destructive... whether it's the parental relationship, the persons outlook on life, or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Preemptive Disclaimer: To anyone that wishes to correct or redirect my statements using actual citations, I'll just say that I'm an adult sharing his experiences. I'm not educated in the finer and more abstract aspects of the nuclear family dynamic. Say what you will, I'm not easily offended.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-03-05T17:36:29.827" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T17:36:29.827" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3441" CreationDate="2012-03-05T08:08:28.270" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of the problem with a 12 yo that thinks they know everything is that it's hard to tear that down and bring them back to reality... that they're not the smartest person on the planet and that their situation is not unique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My method of dealing with this is preemptive predictive statements and a reminder that I wasn't always just a parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Let me tell you a little secret: Homework sucks, no s###. You know how I know this? Because I remember being 12. I remember sitting in Miss Albin's math class hating geometry and the fact that she had a mustache and no neck. I also remember that kid in Miss Nuhn's Civics class that always smelled like s### and had hair that looked like he cooked sausage on it. Oh wait, lemme guess: &quot;I don't care what other people think&quot;... which is crap, otherwise you wouldn't have been begging me to get you that $400 phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;etc etc... that's a fill-in-the-blank convo, but the point is you've been there, or someone else has been there, and you know what it's like. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditDate="2019-05-26T17:46:08.397" LastActivityDate="2019-05-26T17:46:08.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2012-03-05T08:23:14.927" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;With a newborn, you can certainly wait. Ten minutes, as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4466/1070&quot;&gt;Torben sais&lt;/a&gt;, is a good measure. Note that this doesn't mean you &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; always wait that long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my own experience, this changes once you start introducing solid foods, which is usually around six months of age. Solid faeces are much more prone to irritate the skin, so changing the diaper quickly becomes more important.&#xA;That still doesn't mean that you have to drop everything you are doing right the moment you notice something, though. (For example, if you are cleaning you wife's most beloved crystal vase, you should not only take the time to set it down instead of dropping it, but put it in a secure place where your child can not throw it down...)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I would lower the acceptable time span to about 2-5 minutes for babies who eat solid food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T08:23:14.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4485" CreationDate="2012-03-05T11:04:04.980" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've just read in a german modern psychology  bestseller on the &quot;self&quot; (it's about understanding up-to-date psychology and I really can recommend it especially to parents): About 50% of one's self / character are regarded as coming from the genes, about 30% from the first experiences with parents / parenting  and the rest from something else (later experiences, strong events). It sounds like common-sense to me. The book I'm referring to is yet only available in german, I believe: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.de/Gestatten-ICH-Die-Entdeckung-Selbstbewusstseins/dp/357906763X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1296253415&amp;amp;sr=1-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.de/Gestatten-ICH-Die-Entdeckung-Selbstbewusstseins/dp/357906763X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1296253415&amp;amp;sr=1-1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2342" LastEditorUserId="2342" LastEditDate="2012-03-05T20:36:48.560" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T20:36:48.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4485" CreationDate="2012-03-05T12:34:49.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the sentiment of @monsto's answer, although saying parents contribute 100% to a child's outcome is an exaggeration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answering a question like &quot;why was child A successful and child B unsuccessul, despite having the same parents?&quot; is very difficult and context-specific. There are so many factors at play. Parenting style definitely has a huge effect, and favoritism, birth order, etc may contribute to such discrepancies. However, even if the parents were perfect (none are), all children have  their own personalities and the power to make their own choices. Then you have things like emotional and mental health, and various other things that are often difficult to measure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yes, parenting style is extremely important to a child's growth and outcome as an adult, but it is not the only important factor. People can (and do) grow up in a positive, healthy environment and yet never develop the ability to make wise choices. Similarly, people can (and do) grow up in a negative, sometimes even hostile environment, and yet they have an inherent maturity that allows them to shake off their past and work towards a better future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot that we as parents can and should do to prepare our children for a successful future, but we must remember that eventually it is their personality and actions that will determine their outcome in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T12:34:49.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4484" CreationDate="2012-03-05T14:11:04.573" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think first and foremost you should concentrate on exposing your child to a wide variety of music, and encouraging her to explore what types of musics she enjoys.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's never too early to start with music.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Participation is more important than skill, by the way.  Even if (like myself) you have little-to-no talent for singing, sing to, and with, your daughter.  Make it fun.  Turn music into a game.  If you can make music a fun and enjoyable concept for your child, you've created the most essential foundation for an education in music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the next step, I'd suggest encouraging musical play until she's old enough to start learning an instrument.  There are a wide variety of toddler-friendly musical instruments available.  We have an assortment of instrument/toys for my son, including clackers, shakers, bells, tamborines, and a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00020V59S&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;piano&lt;/a&gt;.  If you're particularly patient, and have the resources available, encourage your toddler to play around with real instruments.  Our son is 18 months old and loves banging on the keys of our real piano, in addition to the toy one we've provided him.  Our nephew's three-year-old plays with his collection of guitars and a drum set.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she's old enough, consider actual music lessons.  I believe most teachers want the children to be around 6 years old or older (at least for piano), but some may be convinced to take younger children.  My wife was 4 when she started piano lessons (her mother begged the teacher, as their piano had no cover on the keys, and she was tired of listening to my wife bang on them constantly!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think being able to use an instrument to replicate music is an important foundation for learning the building blocks of music that you are referring to.  Being able to convert the concepts to actual practical examples is a great way for most people to really grasp the concepts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T14:11:04.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4485" CreationDate="2012-03-05T14:30:51.337" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Absolutely parenting style has a lot to do with how a child will ultimately turn out, but other factors certainly influence that child's outcome:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://birthorders.com/theory.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;birth order&lt;/a&gt; is certainly believed to effect a child's personality, &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1034/j.1399-0004.2000.580508.x/abstract;jsessionid=1AF11E4A5859EA8EADCF9C031865D0E8.d04t03?userIsAuthenticated=false&amp;amp;deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;genes&lt;/a&gt;, the number of children your parents have, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm an only child so I have no siblings to compare to, but I've observed some interesting points about my husband and his sisters.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband is the third of four children, and the only male.  The gap between him and his next oldest sister is seven years.  It is very interesting to see how my husband and his younger sister interact with their parents versus how his two older sisters interact with their parents.  Now, let me point out that my husband and all of his sisters are successful.  They are all married, have college degrees, have children of their own, and are productive citizens...I wouldn't say that my in-laws were unsuccessful parents in the least.  However, my older sisters-in-law have very different values regarding career and family than my husband and my younger sister-in-law.  Neither set of values is wrong, per se, just different.  One of my older sisters-in-law will sometimes refer to my husband and younger SIL as &quot;the golden children&quot;, and while she seems to be saying it jokingly, it's apparent that she harbors some sort of resentment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time my husband and his younger sister came along, my in-laws had been through parenting two other children, and they sort of knew what to stress out about and what was only a passing phase.  Let's be honest, with your first child, you're utterly clueless about pretty much everything.  So, my husband and his younger sister did have a different experience being raised than their older sisters did even though they had the same parents, attended the same elementary/middle schools, church, etc.  Part of it is probably personality, there is certainly some sibling rivalry at play even today when the oldest is 41 and the youngest isn't quite 30 yet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hardest part of being a parent (especially if you're an &lt;em&gt;involved&lt;/em&gt; parent) is accepting that eventually you have to let your child(ren) go and make his/her own decisions.  They are going to make poor decisions--it's a part of growing up, but the best you can hope is that you've taught them well enough to mitigate the damage, learn from the experience, and continue on to be successful, productive adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T14:30:51.337" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4484" CreationDate="2012-03-05T14:37:28.100" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is never too early to start singing songs, including the ABCs to your child.  In terms of letter recognition and the like, that will come naturally.  Read books to your child, even at that early age, sing to them, play with them, enjoy them.  More important at this age is a sense of well being and therefore interaction with you, if you choose to use academics as a way to bond more power to you.  I used to read Anne of Green Gables (I love the book) to my kids while I was nursing.  Did it effect them academically who knows but it gave me a sense of well being and kept me from being annoyed that I wasn't doing other things when they took longer then I wanted them to. This sense of calm quite time certainly effect them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T14:37:28.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4461" CreationDate="2012-03-05T15:49:03.737" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both speech development and cognition are very much on an individualized scale. First of all, if you are very worried ask the pediatrician.  Second, to get to your question.  Some kids are better 'reports' than others, meaning some kids can tell you all about their day while others don't, sometimes this has simply to do with interest.  You can try asking questions while reading books to encourage them to practice higher order (age appropriate) thinking.  In terms of what is 'normal' or what the milestones of development are I have always avoided the literature because all the studies and advice are different and it just sends me into a tizzy. So, anecdotally,  each of my 4 kids developed at different rate, ranging from my first one expressing herself in complete sentences at 2, to using singly words until 3.5.  I am happy to report all of them developed and express themselves quite well (sometime too often:)).  Children you see that are using idioms, adjectives, and multi-sentence responses are advanced at that age, as far as I know and have seen.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you encourage speaking, use the speech you want when speaking to your child, ask questions and then let your child answer and then you answer more completely your child will learn at his own rate and right on time.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T15:49:03.737" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4485" CreationDate="2012-03-05T15:49:39.370" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The short answer is that there is absolutely no way to accurately quantify the extent of influence parenting has on children.  There are just too many variables.  Genetics, birth order, familial influences outside of parents (siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, etc.), geographic/regional, educational, and peer interactions all play a part.  However, it is clear that parenting &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; play a part in development.  How much of a direct influence that role exerts depends largely upon the parenting style.  It is my belief that permissive styles of parenting give the other factors mentioned above a stronger role in determining personality, while authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles tend to play a larger influencing role (although this influence is by no means guaranteed to be exclusively positive).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no doubt that parenting &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; play a major role.  Unfortunately, it is easiest to see this in negative examples.  Abuse and neglect by parents have &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=impact+of+parental+abuse&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=0&amp;amp;as_vis=1&amp;amp;oi=scholart&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=S-BUT8jMAsfEtgec2oGuDQ&amp;amp;ved=0CBsQgQMwAA&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;well documented, and oft-studied impact on children&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is considerable research available specific to the nature-nuture debate.  In particular, &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=twin+studies+nature+vs+nurture&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=0&amp;amp;as_vis=1&amp;amp;oi=scholart&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=qdtUT6qsMoHNtgeIxpDHDQ&amp;amp;ved=0CBsQgQMwAA&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;twin studies&lt;/a&gt; is a popular source of research into the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the abstract from &lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/amp/55/2/218/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt; states it quite clearly (emphasis mine):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Current findings on parental influences provide more sophisticated and less deterministic explanations than did earlier theory and research on parenting. Contemporary research approaches include (a) behavior-genetic designs, augmented with direct measures of potential environmental influences; (b) studies distinguishing among children with different genetically influenced predispositions in terms of their responses to different environmental conditions; (c) experimental and quasi-experimental studies of change in children's behavior as a result of their exposure to parents' behavior, after controlling for children's initial characteristics; and (d) research on interactions between parenting and nonfamilial environmental influences and contexts, illustrating contemporary concern with influences beyond the parent–child dyad. These approaches indicate that &lt;strong&gt;parental influences on child development are neither as unambiguous as earlier researchers suggested nor as insubstantial as current critics claim&lt;/strong&gt;. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1601-183X.2006.00219.x/full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; summarizing Michael Rutter's &lt;em&gt;Genes and Behavior: Nature–Nurture Interplay Explained&lt;/em&gt; mentions some statistics that appear relevant (again, emphasis mine):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unraveling the detailed design of twin studies was followed by the findings of these approaches in a catalogue of mental illness after which Rutter concludes that ‘&lt;strong&gt;virtually all psychiatric disorders show a significant genetic contribution to individual differences, with heritabilities at least in the 20 to 50 percent range&lt;/strong&gt;’.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So where does the 50 to 80 on the other side of the equation come from?&lt;/strong&gt; Rutter turns his attention to this issue by first explaining the strategies for examining environmentally mediated risks. Here we learn of twin adoption studies of children abused and neglected, longitudinal studies of institutional deprivation with its resulting psychological dysfunction and the impact on poverty and childhood-disruptive behavior of a new casino on an Indian reservation, as well as the effects of cannabis. I found this chapter fascinating and would have liked to read much more and was left agreeing with Rutter's conclusion that ‘It is all too obvious that much remains to be learned about the effects of experiences on the organism, and that remains a key need for the future’.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The implication is that more than half of our mental development (at least in the case of psychiatric disorders) is the result of our environment.  Granted, parenting style is not 100% of our environment; there are countless other factors involved.  However, there is no question that our parents greatly influence our environment, even &lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/fam/19/2/294/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;indirectly&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using structural equation modeling techniques, the author found that the socioeconomic factors were related indirectly to children's academic achievement through parents' beliefs and behaviors but that the process of these relations was different by racial group. Parents' years of schooling also was found to be an important socioeconomic factor to take into consideration in both policy and research when looking at school-age children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T15:49:39.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4484" CreationDate="2012-03-05T18:23:51.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer the question, I think piano or vocal lessons when they reach an appropriate age  (4-5) is not out of the question. I started my now 18 yo on piano lessons when he was 4. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, that being said, I question the motivation of steering a child towards a goal of yours, as opposed to giving them the tools with which they can make their own decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good idea, teaching music early, but doing it in an attempt to shape the future of the child in a highly specific direction that you like (much like an arranged marriage) I believe is ill advised. True, it could become much more a labor of love, but if the individual has different interests, even as a child, it could be problematic at best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 18 yo took lessons for almost 4 years and hated it. At 18, he couldn't tell you jack about playing piano. These days he's into theatre with no penchant for music at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T18:23:51.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2690" CreationDate="2012-03-05T19:31:00.320" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is something called a co-sleeper  and I bought this one by &quot;Arms Reach&quot;  &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B00198F1X8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://amzn.com/B00198F1X8&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It basically sits on the side of the bed and there are some straps that wrap around under your mattress to keep it in place and snug against the bed. It also converts into a little play pen for later use.  This is the one that I saw recommended the most when doing my research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2349" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T19:31:00.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4484" CreationDate="2012-03-05T19:39:42.990" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Encouraging your child musically is great!  Since she's so young, now is a great time to help her understand such inherently &lt;em&gt;basic&lt;/em&gt; concepts as rhythm and pitch.  Clapping her hands in time to singing or music on the radio, clapping her feet together when you change her diaper (my kids LOVED this when they were little),  or patting her back in rhythm when you're burping her or settling her down for the night are simple ways to introduce rhythm.  Reading books with rhyming words frequently have their own natural rhythm to them because they're poetry.  Let's be honest, you can teach her all the music theory in the world when she gets older, but if she lacks a natural sense of rhythm, she's not going to be a very successful musician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Singing to your child simple tunes so that she learns about pitch, and singing the songs over and over again (my husband and I turned &quot;Rubber Ducky&quot; into a waltz because we got tired of singing it over and over and over again).  As your daughter grows and learns these songs, she'll learn naturally about matching pitch (at least, vocally).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she seems to be interested in music as she grows, then you can teach her about scales using &lt;em&gt;The Sound of Music&lt;/em&gt; and the solfege syllables (do re me fa sol la ti do), teaching her about chords in general rather than triads specifically would be easier at a younger age as it would allow her to explore combining different keys to hear how they sound together (I'm thinking piano here, I don't know what you would do with, say, a guitar).  Major/minor scales and diminished/augmented chords might be a bit over her head at age four, but if she's interested in music still at age six or seven she could certainly grasp the concept of a major versus a minor scale and probably recognize some chords if she has a firm knowledge of chords and scales in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with the other posters who have said that finding a music teacher to take a child younger than probably 6 would be difficult, but some of that depends on the instrument.  We have a friend who teaches piano who would probably take on my son now as a student and he's four, and I know when I took violin that my teacher had students who were probably 4 and 5.  Sometimes a child is not physically developed enough to start an instrument at a young age (my son has decided recently he wants to play the trumpet...sigh...which he is not physically ready for).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But pushing her, or pushing her in the wrong direction, will only backfire.  My mom desperately wanted me to play an instrument so I suffered through both piano and violin lessons.  It wasn't that I didn't enjoy music, but I am a much more talented and accomplished vocalist than I am musician.  My violin teacher was actually the first to recognize my vocal ability and encourage me to go in that direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T19:39:42.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4484" CreationDate="2012-03-05T20:51:11.077" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Excellent suggestions so far about exposure to music. In terms of specific resources, I learned piano using books published by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.alfred.com/AlfredPiano/PianoMethods&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Alfred Music&lt;/a&gt;. They divide the material into practice/lesson books, theory books, and recital books, each focusing on an important aspect of musical skill. These books (or any similar resources), in combination with a healthy exposure to a wide variety of music, is probably your best bet. These aren't tailored for 4-month-olds--recommended ages are provided, but you may be able to adjust these based on your child's interests and/or skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that you're asking this question means you're thinking about the right things--providing your child with the right foundation. My opinion is that a good foundation in music relies on theory. I remember my first few years of piano lessons had a lot of theory. I much preferred the practicing and performance parts, but a wise mother encouraged me and I (somewhat grudgingly) endured the theory. However, I was still young when I started seeing the results of this pay off. My understanding, ability, and appreciation for music were all augmented (no pun) as a result of the time I had put in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you have to balance this against @Beoffett's excellent suggestion that you make music fun. Focusing too much on the foundation (theory) and not enough on the payoff (casual play, performance, or listening) can quickly stifle a child's enthusiasm for music. And of course, it's always important to consider the child's interests when determining the correct balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T20:51:11.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2012-03-05T21:47:54.327" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bill Nye the Science Guy is an excellent show and I highly recommend it. Our kids absolutely love it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1895" LastActivityDate="2012-03-05T21:47:54.327" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2012-03-06T01:27:49.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have a 4 month old daughter. When our daughter was about a month old, however, she started sleeping longer and longer at night. We asked our pediatrician if it was ok to let her go longer, and he suggested that we &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; allow her to go more than 8 hours without eating. His explanation had something to do with the fact that her liver was still underdeveloped, and thus could not handle the level of starvation associated with not eating for more than eight hours. This made sense to me, and I trusted his judgement on it (I mean, we do call it breakfast for a reason, right?) so we would wake her up if she was approaching the eight hour mark on sleep. This only happened a handful of times, however, she eventually got used to the schedule and would wake up on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have also read a few 'good sleep habits' books, and in these, research is cited in which it is shown that a child's hunger and a child's sleepiness are not inter-related. In other words, a hungry child will still show the same sleep/wake patterns as a sated child. In other words in other words, a hungry, sleeping baby will NOT wake up due to its hunger. If desired, I can cite the author/book which I got this info from, as well as the research cited in that book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2346" LastActivityDate="2012-03-06T01:27:49.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4485" CreationDate="2012-03-06T04:50:14.553" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, for the &quot;snark&quot; .. parenting &lt;em&gt;style&lt;/em&gt; is irrelevant.  What is relevant is is parenting &lt;strong&gt;actions&lt;/strong&gt; and parenting &lt;strong&gt;behaviors&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is indeed the classic &quot;nature versus nurture&quot; dilemma. The real answer is that it is not nature versus nurture, it is nature and nurture interacting. Each of us has inborn tendencies and traits &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; the parents have a huge impact on how the child turns out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, this is particularly true if the parents stress in their parenting that actions are choices, and the children have to make choices about how they live their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-06T04:50:14.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4503" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-06T13:37:01.860" Score="3" ViewCount="658" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know there are many books on evaluating academic success and deficits, but how do you evaluate social/emotional learning?  Are there studies to help with this? What milestones should a parent look for?  Should the amount of schooling in the younger years be factored into the evaluation as the child started learning social skills at a younger age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-06T12:26:10.317" LastActivityDate="2019-04-06T12:26:10.317" Title="How to evaluate social/emotional development?" Tags="|social-development|research|milestones|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2012-03-06T15:15:08.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's another repetitious vote for Discovery, and Discovery Science Channel. My 10 8 6 yo's watch everything from mythbusters to cash cab... An Idiot Abroad, etc etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main point of my post is to decry the state of kids shows these days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;spongebob is todays looney toons. sometimes it's funny, sometimes it sucks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disney is geared towards tween girls and it is horrible. My 10 yo wants to watch it, but i'll FORCE her to change it to Discovery or Animal Planet and she'll wind up going &quot;ooh! Dirty Jobs!&quot; or &quot;I love Canine Cops!&quot; or whatever.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nick is geared a little younger, but it's just as horrible. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cartoon Network is the worst. all of these shows except Adventure Time have rehashed crap for the cartoons. It's really ridic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nick Jr., too young for an 8 yo.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's a sad state of affairs that your best bet for a kids show is untargeted, general, family programming on a niche network. You might try catching full episodes of the discovery based shows over the web.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-03-06T15:15:08.590" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4485" CreationDate="2012-03-06T18:19:41.680" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read this book when it came out&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0684857073&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The NURTURE ASSUMPTION: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It makes the case that the environmental contribution to personality is mostly from peers, not parents (except in pathologically bad cases like abuse).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One simple example is accent -- children tend to have the accents of their peers, not their parents.  You'd think that since they learn language from parents initially, that this would not be the case, but there is a strong correlation with peers for accents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To further @monsto's intuition based on experience, the author offers this advice if you are a parent with a troubled child and want to change behavior -- move them away from peers.  She makes the case that the only recourse you'd have is to get them different peers, and that the only way to do that would be to physically move far away (this book was written before Facebook, so who knows if that would still work).  Similarly, she offered herself as an example of personality changing behavior from moving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It cites a variety of studies and gives some evolutionary justification, but there are no original studies in it.  It proposes a series of studies that would give more information -- I found it to be a fascinating read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1096" LastEditorUserId="1096" LastEditDate="2012-03-06T18:53:46.567" LastActivityDate="2012-03-06T18:53:46.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4503" CreationDate="2012-03-06T18:47:59.543" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this will help you, but I found a study published online from January 2011 for the Raikes Foundation entitled &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://raikesfoundation.org/Documents/SELTools.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Social-Emotional Learning Assessment Measures for Middle School Youth&lt;/a&gt;&quot;.  I know it seems to focus primarily on middle school ages, but it seems to have some information in it that talks a little bit about social-emotional assessment in younger ages, and it includes several samples of assessments towards the end.  The reference page is a solid two pages, so there might be some literature in there that would help you some.  Fair warning:  It's about 50 pages long so you might want to settle in with a big cup of coffee after the kids have gone to bed :-D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-06T18:47:59.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4475" CreationDate="2012-03-06T23:51:14.707" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apparently rubbing alcohol or vodka on a cotton swab will remove some of the staining. You can prevent or at least reduce the staining by using some vaseline or olive oil on your babies lips before using the Gentian Violet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here a link with &lt;a href=&quot;http://breastfeeding.hypermart.net/gvstains.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;tips for removing Gentian Violet stains&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1220" LastActivityDate="2012-03-06T23:51:14.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2012-03-07T21:58:34.537" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes they are much cheaper, my total investment to date is $315, and my son is 14 months old.  Prefolds are $1 per diaper in bulk, and I have around 60 of them, and then I bought Thirsties Duo covers at $10 per cover, which I have 10 of.  You only change the cover if it gets soiled by a BM, or after a full day of use.  I also use Kawaii diapers for day care, they are the 'modern' style, where it is just like a disposable in terms of how you change it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can go a full week between washing, but in practice I do the diapers twice a week.  My electric bill has gone up around $8 per month due to the electric dryer.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as time investment goes - I want to spend time with my son, not run out to the store to buy diapers.  I have never once had to run to the store to get diapers - that would be a deal breaker for me.  The cheapest disposable diapers I see on amazon are 19 cents per diaper, for the non-premium brand.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the 19 cent figure, my investment would buy 1657 disposable diapers, and if you assume 8 changes per day, that would be 207 days of diapering - less than 7 months.  Each month the savings in electricity would buy an additional 5 days worth as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Total costs to date for disposables would be $638.  Total cost to date for cloth = $427.  Cost savings = $211 and counting by $38 every month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: wipes are not included in cost calculations, but I do use cloth wipes so the savings is bigger if you use them as well (although probably not gigantic).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2357" LastActivityDate="2012-03-07T21:58:34.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2012-03-08T09:46:53.793" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on how much you use them! If you use them at all times - certainly. But if you're like us, it's quite likely you won't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We originally got &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mamabless.com/acatalog/MamaBless_Eco_Cloth_Nappy_Collections.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MamaBless&lt;/a&gt; cloth diapers with bambino mio &lt;a href=&quot;http://static.productreview.com.au/pr.products/f2_4ecdfd4baa3fe.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;diaper covers&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://img1.targetimg1.com/wcsstore/TargetSAS//img/p/12/29/12292041.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;flushable liners&lt;/a&gt;. We like them a lot - mostly because they're just nicer than the plastic kind. We also hope that they will help speed up toilet training when the time comes, as the wetness is immediately unpleasant and easier to associate to peeing. But there are times when we don't or didn't use them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When our son was less than three months old. They're supposedly 'one size fits all', but were far to big for him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When we travel. They're a very heavy burden to just take along! (But we don't have a car, and we travel a lot to distant countries where our scattered families live.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When we go on longer outings. We really don't like carrying a heavy, wet, soiled piece of cloth in our backpacks. (Again, maybe this is easier if you can just stash it in your car.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At night. We would need to get up in the middle of the night, every night, to change him. This is no fun, as we both work and need to be up bright and early.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, we still think they're great. For poop especially, there are never spill accidents with them, and they happen every so often with pampers. We also like the flushable liners so much that we now use them in pampers as well - so much more convenient to just pick up all the poop in the piece of cloth and flush it away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In sum, I would still recommend them, but I'm not sure they really save us any cash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2012-03-08T09:54:12.643" LastActivityDate="2012-03-08T09:54:12.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-03-08T15:39:02.500" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are not sure if you will need one you could look into renting one from your hospital.  My sister did that for a while after her daughter was born until she decided that she would use one for the long term and bought one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2012-03-08T15:39:02.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4512" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-08T19:44:44.567" Score="2" ViewCount="5868" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend and I are expecting our first child in the next couple of weeks. We still need to buy a mattress for the Baby's cot. I read online that some mattresses have ventilation holes to help prevent SIDS. But on another website I read that these actually could provoke sudden death because used air might get trapped in the holes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't really know what to believe, so my question is: Do you know of any studies that have analyzed the effect of such ventilation holes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2360" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-04-29T10:54:36.697" LastActivityDate="2022-06-22T12:07:57.730" Title="What are the risks of ventilation holes in mattresses for newborn babies, if any?" Tags="|toddler|breathing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4512" CreationDate="2012-03-08T22:42:42.490" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There have been no studies to support that ventilation holes in a mattress prevent SIDS or vice-versa. The only claim that is made is that &lt;strong&gt;lack of ventilation&lt;/strong&gt; increases the risk of SIDS - which is &lt;em&gt;true&lt;/em&gt;. But ventilation holes in a mattress does not mean that you are reducing the likelihood of SIDS. The  most important thing is simply to make sure that your baby sleeps on their back. Some people believe that mattress with ventilation holes means that you can put your baby on their belly - &lt;strong&gt;NO&lt;/strong&gt; - do not do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ventilation holes are often used in synthetic mattresses to keep the baby cool; however, you can just buy a natural material that is breathable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is more information on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.firstcandle.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Guidelines_For_Products.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Guidelines for Products Intended for Sleeping Babies&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-06-23T00:49:56.587" LastActivityDate="2012-06-23T00:49:56.587" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4512" CreationDate="2012-03-09T07:35:56.027" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;To the best of my knowledge, &lt;strong&gt;ventilation holes prevent suffocation, not SIDS.&lt;/strong&gt; My best advice regarding SIDS is to deliberately ignore it because it is futile to worry as long as the causes remain unknown -- it's called &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;sudden&lt;/strong&gt; infant death syndrome for a reason.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, &lt;em&gt;&quot;air getting trapped in the holes&quot;&lt;/em&gt; is a misunderstanding that you can disregard. The fact that there might be trapped air present is not a danger in itself. If you can provide the link to where you read it, we can discuss it in more detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here's my understanding of the importance of a ventilated mattress:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, a little background. Babies need to develop enough bodily awareness and motor control to react to their environment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you put a newborn down on his belly, he will bury his face in the mattress because does not know how to turn his head to avoid suffocation.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you put a stuffed animal in his face, he does not know how to move himself or the toy away to avoid suffocation.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is the reason why you should always put newborns to sleep on their back, and why you should keep pillows and blankets and stuffed animals out of a newborn's crib.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, babies develop the motor skills to turn themselves around, but at first &lt;em&gt;they can only turn themselves face-down.&lt;/em&gt; This is still before they learn to turn their head sideways, and &lt;strong&gt;this is why&lt;/strong&gt; the mattress' ventilation capability is important -- to avoid suffocation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some time later (weeks?) they learn to turn themselves around again to lie face-up. By this time, the suffocation danger has passed, but as Swati mentions you should still not place the baby face-down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When you go mattress shopping, you can easily test the ventilation.&lt;/strong&gt; Just put your face into the mattress and try to inhale -- the mattress passes the test if you can inhale. (Note of course that this test might be gross if the mattress is dusty or dirty.) You can also refer to the mattress' product information, or ask the store staff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="1729" LastEditDate="2012-03-09T23:52:13.950" LastActivityDate="2012-03-09T23:52:13.950" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4515" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4527" CreationDate="2012-03-09T09:28:38.197" Score="5" ViewCount="12658" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old daughter has always been an excellent sleeper, she has never had any trouble dropping off to sleep, even when we have been away and she is sleeping in a different room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently she has got herself into a pattern of worrying about not being able to sleep, which stops her from going to sleep. As the night goes on she gets more upset about not being able to sleep and gets over tired.  The result is that she is getting off to sleep 1 or 2 hours later than normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she gets off to sleep, she sleeps happily until the morning. It is happening 3 or 4 times a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a vicious cycle, due to its negative reinforcement.  I'm not sure how best to break the pattern?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2364" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-03-09T10:37:53.960" LastActivityDate="2012-03-11T17:04:39.970" Title="How to help a child not to worry about sleeping" Tags="|sleep|primary-schooler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4515" CreationDate="2012-03-09T14:35:01.497" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found that when my kids are having sleep issues, of some sort, the approach that works for us, is to have them be super active during the day.  When bedtime comes they are so tired that whatever the issue is, doesn't surface because they're asleep very quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'll keep this pattern going for several days to re-establish a new pattern and it has been effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2366" LastActivityDate="2012-03-09T14:35:01.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4515" CreationDate="2012-03-09T15:48:25.317" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may already be doing this, but one common and effective technique is to establish a consistent bedtime routine which includes activities that help the child calm down. This may include application of lotion, reading stories, and singing songs (my children are younger, so your mileage may vary). After an active day (as Walter suggests), a calming bedtime routine provides an excellent contrast that can help the child sleep. Perhaps the consistency of the routine itself may help her overcome her fears about sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14" LastActivityDate="2012-03-09T15:48:25.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4515" CreationDate="2012-03-09T17:41:18.620" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other question to consider is did this start after truly having trouble falling asleep, and if so why did that happen to begin with.  Worry about not being able to fall asleep came from somewhere.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What works for my kids is letting them read in bed.  They each have a light next to their bed that they can turn of themselves.  Obviously, if they do not go to sleep after having this quiet time and continue reading I do have to go tell them it is time, but after having that relaxing time with no worries it seems to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-09T17:41:18.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4461" CreationDate="2012-03-09T17:49:20.303" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, first off - my apologies if self answers are considered bad. Most of my study earlier stopped by 2-3 years and if at all there is, it is very limited exploration [ See &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_development&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wiki&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/pages/speechandlanguage.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;nidcd&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nncc.org/Child.Dev/mile4.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;nncc&lt;/a&gt; ] &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More sources i got later: &lt;a href=&quot;http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/language_development_3-4_years.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;rising children&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/language_development.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;child development&lt;/a&gt;. Again, i am really not sure of other sources. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, here is how i have gathered stuff, and there is some which is partly added i have observed around in my and other kids. I may be completely wrong - nevertheless, here it is! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Understanding actions:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;from basic instructions - &quot;give me water, put that shoes&quot; etc. to more complex instructions like, &lt;em&gt;find the largest ball from there and put it in most fitting basket here&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The same way, child grows to understand puzzle solving, understanding the relationship on different scores and levels and then they understand the notion of competitive winning. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;broadly they develop simple to complex understanding of things - for example as early as 1 year my kid learnt that pressing the specific key will switch on light. From there, they understand more complex phenomena around her/his world and establish cause and effect relationship. for example, operating power on-off button to switching channels in TV and then knowing which channel will get their favorite channels is a simple to complex learning &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Language development&lt;/strong&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Simple to complex sentences. Use adjectives. Understand distinction between noun and verb and realizes that verbs are related to actions. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;understand opposites, relations like - big/bigger/biggest. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;understand and answers questions on - WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHICH etc. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ability to do longer conversation - like replying on phone, reply of reply to lengthen it towards some motive, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;answer an abstract questions: &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3. Sense of time&lt;/strong&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;in the beginning - they decipher day vs. night. Later distinguish other day parts. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Primary causality: Post this, they being to have basic understanding of what happend before or after. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Understand wall clock time. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Understand week days and notion of what days, month, year elapsed would really mean. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4. Visualization&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;[I am not sure of this - but this will be part of one of the other sections]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;About 18 month+ kid can remember a scene setting scene before but not right in font of the eye. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ability to draw and depict objects and scenes based on pictures, cartoons and other such imaginary sources rather than real world. For example, kids can identify and relate a tiger from a picture as well as a 3D model (toy) and a cartoon tiger as well as a real tiger in zoo. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Can express the entire scene - this is what all i &lt;em&gt;saw&lt;/em&gt; in the garden and then from there - express complex phenomenon - this happend - then this happened and then etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5. Social Awareness&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;interaction with other kids, understand their actions and react to them. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;play games for enjoyment sake initially which later evolve in relative comparison and competitive spirit. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;develops, liking- disliking, develops basic trust by way of preferring someone by default, understanding of what will hurt or please others, learns to manipulate response for objectives (pleases someone to grab a chocolate).  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;internalize behavioral manners and code of conduct, understands seniority of people, learns to influence or persuade or bargain with people. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;6. Math and logical reasoning&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I feel this is very very tightly governed by what is explicitly taught in school. Even if there is a capability in children to learn them on their own - but schools syllabus is more or less primarily driving them then their natural discovery. Thoguh it is a great surprise to me how it works. the play school of my kid tried to teach him counting. Most kid would do that by end of 2 - my kid was not able to grab that concept till 2 &amp;amp; half - but suddenly one fine day he just begun to count! So i don't really know how that works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same applies to &lt;strong&gt;reading&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;writing&lt;/strong&gt; i guess. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1770" LastActivityDate="2012-03-09T17:49:20.303" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4515" CreationDate="2012-03-10T02:01:31.247" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with all the previous posters.  Periodically, my 4-year-old will say, &quot;But what if I can't sleep?&quot;.  I don't know where this comes from, but he usually does it on nights when he's not exceptionally tired at bed time.  Then he might pop out of bed a few times and we just put him right back in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the situation is probably a little different in your daughter because she's older and you say you've never had this kind of problem with her.  I think morah is spot on when she says that you need to investigate what brought this on.  Did she see a scary movie by accident?  Hear a scary story from one of her classmates at school (that was always a big one with me)?  The imagination of a 7-year-old can be phenomenal and can cause no shortage of imaginary terrors.  I remember hearing the entire plotlines of movies like &lt;em&gt;Nightmare on Elm Street&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;Friday the 13th&lt;/em&gt; at school from classmates who had been allowed to see the movies (at, like, age 7/8!) and it seriously kept me up at night for weeks--and to this day I haven't seen those movies.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever my son starts the &quot;What if I can't sleep?&quot; game, I remind him that he can take a deep breath, and snuggle down with his blanket and pillow and Tigger, and turn over, and close his eyes, and go to sleep.  I also remind him that if he needs us, we're right down the hall.  The key is to keep it relaxed and calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's not able to get to sleep because she's scared, then some reassuring is in serious order and this might take a long time.  If I watch horror films (especially ones involving ghosts), I won't be able to sleep well for weeks even though I'm over 30 and I know none of it's real, but my imagination can get the best of me sometimes (ask me about the movie &lt;em&gt;Thirteen Ghosts&lt;/em&gt;.  That movie still freaks me out).  You might have to reassure her every night for a few weeks that you won't let anything hurt her until the memory kind of fades.  If this is the problem, though, please address it now.  My parents never really did with me, assuming, I guess, that I would just grow out of it, but I was well into my teens before I could even sleep in my own room in the dark (yeah, I'm a wimp about the dark).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting her to bed super-tired is also a great idea because she's going to be too tired to worry about not being able to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-10T02:01:31.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4523" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-10T19:12:06.213" Score="0" ViewCount="162" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to get an idea of the big picture timeline that we should be prepared for, especially over the early, pre-nursery years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, when should we expect teething, when should we arrange swimming lessons &amp;amp; nursery school, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The day-to-day things are easier to nail down, but the timing of the big picture stuff can be hard if it's your first child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please provide citations/references where possible (possibly to other questions on the site).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2374" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-03-14T10:29:55.910" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T10:29:55.910" Title="What  milestones should we be aware of when planning for our child?" Tags="|toddler|newborn|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="10" ClosedDate="2012-03-11T14:18:00.160" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4523" CreationDate="2012-03-11T12:55:07.537" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At risk of sounding obvious, &lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.stackexchange.com&quot;&gt;parenting.stackexchange.com&lt;/a&gt; is likely to be much more useful, as those three examples you give are entirely subjective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Swimming: some people start at a month, some not for a couple of years&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nursery: some start at a few months, some at a couple of years&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teeth: brushing is important whether or not you use formula&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would definitely suggest browsing here to find out the bigger picture issues and real-world experience that you can even chat about, rather than things in a book (some of these books have been written by non-parents, so I am very skeptical)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-03-11T12:55:07.537" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4526" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4530" CreationDate="2012-03-11T15:34:44.750" Score="11" ViewCount="47558" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have observed our 7 month old rubbing her eyes ever since we can remember. She does this especially when she's tired, but also when she's bored or starting to get frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll oftentimes rub so hard that she will scratch her nose and cause a scab or two to develop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm most concerned that she'll rub her eyes too hard and cause some sort of damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any and all help is appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2376" LastActivityDate="2019-11-24T20:06:39.517" Title="How can I get my 7 m/o to stop rubbing her eyes?" Tags="|infant|behavior|health|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4515" CreationDate="2012-03-11T17:04:39.970" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to focus less on &quot;sleep&quot; and more on &quot;bedtime&quot;. Bedtime is time to be in bed, be quiet, and get ready for tomorrow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she asks &quot;what if I can't sleep&quot;, tell her not to worry, and if she can't sleep, to say some prayers, or talk to her doll, or think about the stars, or just about anything that doesn't bother the rest of the household. Have some activities available for her, in her space, that aren't going to wind her up and that she can do on her bed. Books are good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also start digging more about what in her life is causing anxiety. At 7 she is in school, and social pressures are starting to build. Perhaps she is worried about being ready for tomorrow .. about her lunch or her clothes or her homework. Kids worry too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Among other things, this will teach her some strategies for dealing with her own anxiety, which is also good. It will also start her down the path of managing her own sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-11T17:04:39.970" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4170" CreationDate="2012-03-11T18:58:07.110" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, to answer the general question ... &lt;strong&gt;NO&lt;/strong&gt;. There is really no way that a 4/5/6 year old can understand why these kinds of things are happening. Just reassure that she is not disappointing you, that you love her, and be relentlessly positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More specifically to your case .. there is no way around her feeling like she has done failed or something wrong. I don't spend a whole bunch of time worrying about self-esteem for it's own sake, but this is something that will make her think badly of herself for no apparent reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you sure this is a wise move?  Unless the K teacher at the &quot;big kids school&quot; is truly horrible, it seems unlikely that benefits of the repeated disruption are worth the risks and trouble of the disruption. Have you considered keeping her at the &quot;big kid school&quot; and getting her some additional enrichment or support?  Consider also that the benefit of the &quot;better&quot; K will be offset by the benefit of remaining at the big kid school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-11T18:58:07.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1812" CreationDate="2012-03-11T19:56:31.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You only need to bath your baby 2-3 times a week. You can choose to bath your baby everyday if she enjoys bath time or if it helps as part of her bed time routine. You do however need to make sure your babies face, neck, hands and bottom are cleaned everyday. This is known as top and tailing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2377" LastActivityDate="2012-03-11T19:56:31.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4526" CreationDate="2012-03-12T01:12:01.273" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies rub their eyes.  It's just part of how they're made.  I have tried everything I can to stop my 19-month-old from rubbing her eyes, but that's because she wears contact lenses and rubbing her eyes can lead to rubbing out her lenses and losing one, or, worse, causing her to damage her eye with the lense (these are rigid gas permeable lenses, btw).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latter has actually never happened, and my daughter will rub her eyes quite hard and for an extended period of time if she's tired or the sun is in her eyes or her lense gets out of alignment or whatever, and she's been wearing contact lenses since she was 4 months old.  The likelihood that your daughter is going to damage her eye by rubbing it is slim.  The most probable cause of her harming her eye in this manner is if she has some sort of debris (sand, dirt, etc.) on her hands and reaches up to rub her eye and it gets into the eye.  Also there's the possibility that she could &lt;em&gt;maybe&lt;/em&gt; develop an eye infection if she's been in contact with someone who has recently had pink eye or some other highly communicable eye infection.  Either way, the best way to prevent both of these from occurring is just to keep her hands as clean as possible.  If you let her play in the sandbox, make sure you wash her hands as soon as she's done playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The eye is a pretty resilient organ, so unless you have a specific reason to be concerned that she's going to damage her eye (like, she has an eye condition or something), I don't think you really need to worry too much about it.  If you want to prevent her from scratching her nose, the only thing we've found that works is just keeping nails clipped fairly frequently.  It's not ideal because their nails grow so fast, but it should cut down on the scratching (my daughter has a scab on her nose for this exact reason right now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps some!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:  &lt;em&gt;If&lt;/em&gt; you think that her eye-rubbing is way outside the norm (which I know can be hard to judge), then it might be worthwhile to bring it up at your next ped appointment.  I suppose that excessive eye-rubbing could be the result of a more serious problem, and this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tashnervision.com/eyehealth_infant.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;website&lt;/a&gt; seems like it has some good points to look for if you're concerned about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA (again):  I don't love this website as it's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://wondertime.go.com/learning/baby-facts/rub.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;disneyfamily.com&lt;/a&gt; site which I wouldn't consider to be the height of medical information, but they make some completely valid points about eyes and eye-rubbing in babies which I'd never really thought about before, namely that as your baby gets tired, the muscles surrounding their eyes also grow fatigued and rubbing the eyes will relieve the tension in and around the eye and eyelid (we've all done this before after working a long day, reading a lot, or spending too much time watching tv or on the computer).  Additionally, the longer your eyes are open, the dryer they become and rubbing them somewhat stimulates tearing.  Excessive eye-rubbing (as in, more than usual) can sometimes be a sign of a teething in some children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-03-12T17:09:46.077" LastActivityDate="2012-03-12T17:09:46.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4526" CreationDate="2012-03-12T08:04:21.493" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You can't&lt;/strong&gt; stop an infant from rubbing her eyes, it's a natural thing to do. I believe that your primary concern is not the rubbing, but the effects. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that you're worried that she's &lt;strong&gt;scratching herself with her fingernails&lt;/strong&gt;. There are two solutions to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that her fingernails are nicely trimmed at all times. This can be difficult, but one she's able to scratch herself you know that it's time to trim again.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can get thin cotton mittens for newborns and infants to wear during the day (yes, indoors). The purpose of these mittens are simply to keep the child from scratching herself. Of course these only make sense as long as the child is too small to do anything meaningful with her hands -- eventually the mittens would interfere with learning, and she'll be able to remove them on her own anyway. But before that time, they can be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from the fingernails, I don't think you need to worry that she will hurt herself. She is not going to poke her eyes out. She is not going to rub hard enough to do any damage - that requires a lot more strength and determination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-03-12T08:04:21.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4532" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-12T17:56:51.400" Score="2" ViewCount="282" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our building is constantlly having false fire alarms that are extremely loud.  These are beyond the smoke detectors in our home, they are the industrial strobe alarms that can be heard over a block away from our building.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They go off sporadically throughout the day. At times we get an email that warns us, between the hours of 8a-3p they will be going off however, at other times there is no warning. They last about 10-30 seconds, but can happen up to 2-3 times a day, randomly. Then they will stop for a few weeks, and happen again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throughout my son's infancy, there has been a lot of &quot;testing&quot; along with accidental false alarms. I am beginning to worry about emotional and psychological consequences from the alarms. His naps are often interrupted and he wakes up scared and confused. Outside of the obvious desensitization and masking of real emergencies, I am more concerned about any stress, hearing loss, or emotional damage that these might be doing to my 7 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am trying to make a plea to our development to get a better handle on this and would love any insights, evidence, etc. that might effectively communicate my concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2380" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-10T16:20:29.783" LastActivityDate="2018-04-10T16:20:29.783" Title="Can Constant Alarm Testing in a Building Pose Emotional/Psychological Concerns for our Infant?" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-03-12T18:37:25.297" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I recently had twins and rented a &lt;em&gt;&quot;hospital grade&quot;&lt;/em&gt; pump.  I think a few of the answers do not take into account that the amount of milk produced is directly related to the amount of milk demanded.  As parents of twins we found that pumping after feeding along with drinking lots of liquids helped &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lowmilksupply.org/pumping.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;increase production&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was very important for us to be able to meet demand once our children figured out how to better feed at the breast.  Will you &quot;need&quot; an electric pump for your stay at home wife?  Need is a strong word. But I would recommend using it until your wife has consistent production AND your newborn is feeding well.  &lt;strong&gt;Especially&lt;/strong&gt; if it is covered by insurance or otherwise reimbursed.  After trying the better pump I'm pretty sure you will realize that the quantity of milk expressed it's worth it to have the electric pump.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along with the increased production it allowed me to help feed and bond.  And allowed us to supplement using breast milk (instead of formula).  We have not done much storage and do not keep a lot in reserve.  I give my wife a break by completely doing the late evening feeding.  She goes to bed @ 9:30PM or so, I bottle feed the midnight feeding and put the kids to bed and she's semi-rested for 3AM.  But there are many sites that cover &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/while-working/storing-transporting-breast-milk&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;storing breast milk&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congratulations and good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1286" LastActivityDate="2012-03-12T18:37:25.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4534" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4536" CreationDate="2012-03-12T20:01:11.100" Score="9" ViewCount="4226" Body="&lt;p&gt;Posted on behalf of a friend of mine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are appropriate rules for how much time kids actually get to play video games (such as x-box 360, PlayStation 3, or on the PC)? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently we are the ONLY parents who set limits. Everybody else's mom and dad lets them play as much as they want. Thats what my son says anyway. It is all he ever wants to do and we are about ready to get rid of it!!! He wants to know what he has to do to earn time to play it more. How should I handle this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a different set of rules for limits on &quot;social&quot; games, where he's actively playing with his friends (either in person or over the internet)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is 12 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-03-12T21:07:42.660" LastActivityDate="2016-10-13T13:12:41.623" Title="Is it reasonable to put limits on a pre-teen playing video games?" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|video-games|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4534" CreationDate="2012-03-12T20:12:39.250" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think everyone's definition of 'reasonable' will be different--not to mention every child's situation would be different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think as a general rule, the best would be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the amount of time playing video games interfering with the child's other important life tasks? If so, add a limit to lessen the amount of time they are playing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-03-12T20:12:39.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4534" CreationDate="2012-03-12T22:11:12.837" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;YES!&lt;/strong&gt;  Not only is it reasonable, it is IMHO parental malpractice not to limit video games, the internet, and telephone usage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly, the video games have tremendous value to him.  Among other things, that gives you powerful leverage! Use it well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My practice with video games, movies, texting, and any other similar amusement was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A daily limit is imposed. The time started lower (30 minutes at 5yrs) and gradually raised. In high school it was 3 hours, but she never got close other than for texting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They are not to be touched until homework and chores are done. No exceptions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They are suspended if the grades are below our standards, or if there are any behavior or discipline issues at school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They are suspended whenever the child mistreats or is disrespectful to anyone else, for a period to fit the offense.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1433" LastEditDate="2012-03-14T18:48:35.413" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T18:48:35.413" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4534" CreationDate="2012-03-12T23:00:31.740" Score="10" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Apparently we are the ONLY parents who set limits. Everybody else's&#xA;  mom and dad lets them play as much as they want. That's what my son&#xA;  says anyway... My son is 12 years old.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had a penny... Of course your son thinks you're the only parents who set real limits. Who kicks their kid off the Playstation when they've got a friend over?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a massive game player when I was 12, and can't say that I regret spending my time in that way, as I've got a lot of happy memories of playing with friends, seeing new imaginary worlds etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I rather like the news post that was attached to the comic below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We believe, like every cognizant being, that progenitors should&#xA;  arbitrate the media consumption of the organisms they create.  In&#xA;  other words, &lt;strong&gt;parents should parent&lt;/strong&gt;.  One sees this sentiment&#xA;  everywhere.  As an axiom, it’s incredibly compact.  As a life edict,&#xA;  especially for enthusiasts of interactive media, it’s somewhat more&#xA;  complex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This is how Gabriel the Younger invests his leisure hours - in the&#xA;  construction and demolition of imaginary worlds.  &lt;strong&gt;You can’t tell me,&#xA;  or at any rate I will refuse to hear, that this doesn’t have value.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I’m not sure that eight consecutive hours of it on a daily basis is&#xA;  entirely necessary&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, but placing it somewhere along the continuum of&#xA;  Play as opposed to “Wasting Your Goddamned Time” seems reasonable to&#xA;  me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;-- &lt;a href=&quot;http://penny-arcade.com/2010/11/08/full-circle&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Jerry Holkins, Penny Arcade&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not get rid of the gaming machine. For children who may have trouble socially, it can be a source of controlled social interaction without peer.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you are his parents. &lt;strong&gt;If you need to regulate his time with the machine, and you should, simply draw up a list of tasks that he needs to do before he can play.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to not be too ridiculous about the list. Set it up so he can get it all done, and still have at least an hour's gaming time, otherwise he will (not unreasonably), argue that there's no point in him agreeing to something where the scales are so biased against him drawing on his part of the deal. Also, you'd just be encouraging him to stay up late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/MUckH.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Frankly, I suspect this is my future&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-03-12T23:00:31.740" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4534" CreationDate="2012-03-13T00:24:47.423" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll take comic disagreement with DA01, and say that any reasonable person knows what reasonable means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer the question about placing limits, the answer is yes . . . but like everything else, all things in moderation. Limiting after school game play to that magical time between when they get home and when you get home is reasonable. OTOH, Kicking the entire console out the door is not reasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any limitations should be placed with a dose of realism. The above example of &quot;the time right after school&quot; sounds ridiculous... &quot;They should use that time for homework! And chores!&quot; and that's right, they should. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;BUT&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, like most latchkey kids, they're unsupervised during that time. Attempting to impose a limit when nobody is there to enforce it is a setup for failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can easily parent into it though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You know what you should do? You should do your homework first thing when you get home, then you don't have it staring you in the face to do later after I get home. Now, you know you're supposed to turn it off after we get home and I've noticed you hemming and hawing about doing your homework at that point, probably because you're still jazzed from the game. But if you do it early and get it out of the way, I have absolutely no problem comping you the game later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're being reasonable by allowing them to play while you're not there. It's not out of the question to expect them to be reasonable as well. At 10-12 (preteen yrs) I think it's a good idea to communicate that expectation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course I've elaborated on a single scenario. I think the point is that you can set a limitation that makes sense and is achieveable. You might even discuss some options and come to some kind of systemic agreement with your kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as getting rid of it altogether, I think that would be a big mistake. For a preteen, it could easily sow interpersonal issues completely unrelated to video games and could develop into a serious, long term wedge issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: be reasonable with your limitations and you should get a reasonable response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-03-13T00:24:47.423" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4539" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4541" CreationDate="2012-03-13T08:47:32.210" Score="10" ViewCount="1277" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is nearing 2½ years, and he's got a big stack of picture books. He loves to turn the pages but doesn't take any care in doing so. That means the books are often torn and the spine bent so far back on itself that it breaks. We've collected some very sturdy cardboard books, some with a spiral back, but nothing lasts forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I help him understand how a book is meant to be treated?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I respect that he needs to play with objects on his own terms and not according to the rules of the grown-ups. It's okay that some books are going to &lt;em&gt;die&lt;/em&gt; in the process. But at some point he has to submit to the universal concept of what a book is and how it is actually meant to be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has learned to identify which way is up, and from which end to start, and I guess he picked that up from when we &quot;read&quot; the books together. We must have provided some guidance there, more or less deliberately. It's that kind of further &lt;strong&gt;deliberate guidance&lt;/strong&gt; I'm looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note that I'm not addressing &lt;em&gt;learning to read&lt;/em&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-03-13T10:23:48.877" LastActivityDate="2012-08-17T12:44:23.370" Title="How to teach a toddler how to treat a book?" Tags="|toddler|reading|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4539" CreationDate="2012-03-13T09:29:39.163" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you hit the nail on the head when you say 'deliberate guidance'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally think respect for certain things like animals, other people's stuff and even books, requires deliberate guidance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, children need to have time to learn what a book is and can do that comfortably with a tough cardboard book, but when it is time to use a more vulnerable or valuable book then they need to learn that it needs to be treated with care. It's the old 'with privilege comes responsibility'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is ready to understand the level of respect required then he is ready to look at books unsupervised. You shouldn't blame a child if they are not ready to understand the responsibility. That requires a certain level of maturity that comes with age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other problem is this also requires a certain amount of trust which may ultimately be compromised but is something you unfortunately must accept. My son was very interested in looking at a set of Asterix books I had. Although I trusted him with them a few times, he also ripped them when turning the pages a couple of times. This is just life, he was trying not to rip them, but had difficulty avoiding it. Ultimately I had to stop him from reading them for a couple of weeks to understand the value of the books, but he wouldn't have learnt this without being given the trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-03-13T10:32:56.247" LastActivityDate="2012-03-13T10:32:56.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4539" CreationDate="2012-03-13T10:21:29.973" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let him learn that when he damages a book, he's left with a damaged book&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking it away from him shows him that you don't want them damaged; whereas leaving it with him shows him why he shouldn't want that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he gets upset, show him how to fix the book (another valuable lesson), but the easiest way, possibly the only way to really teach someone to care for his possessions is to let him suffer the consequences of not doing so. One of the key advantages of paper books over digital copies is that they hold a certain history of your time with them, including reminders of your carelessness. My battered copy of Pratchett's Night Watch is more valuable to me than a first edition, because the broken binding and missing cover are reminders of my journeys to and from school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, this means not letting him handle your own treasured First Edition Asterix comics, but you can always &lt;strong&gt;get him his own copies&lt;/strong&gt;. (This may seem like a waste, but if you think about it, it's protecting something irreplaceable, and you can always give the &quot;kid copies&quot; to another parent later)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My slightly embarrasing example of this:&#xA;  I was an orally neurotic child (still chew my nails appallingly),&#xA;  and tended to tear little pieces off the covers of my&#xA;  books and chew them, up until my mid-teens, to the point where most of&#xA;  my paperback Pratchetts have no covers at all.The reason I&#xA;  stopped doing this to books is because I started to regret &lt;em&gt;damaging&#xA;  the books&lt;/em&gt;, most of which I still have at home. What I've noticed going&#xA;  through my library is that the books I really valued, the Asterix's,&#xA;  second-hand rarities, and so forth, I never chewed, only the ones that&#xA;  were standard paperbacks and &lt;em&gt;I knew I would be able to replace&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-03-13T10:21:29.973" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4542" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4549" CreationDate="2012-03-13T11:54:30.760" Score="2" ViewCount="4899" Body="&lt;p&gt;My niece is 7 months old, and has long hair: around say 20-25cm. We are planning to cut her hair against our wishes because we think it could make it easier for her to catch a cough or cold. Is long hair seriously dangerous?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2383" LastEditorUserId="1433" LastEditDate="2012-03-14T18:48:58.453" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T18:48:58.453" Title="Is there any harm to letting an infant's hair grow long?" Tags="|infant|behavior|hair|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2717" CreationDate="2012-03-13T13:01:27.330" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing to think of that I haven't seen mentioned:  How many kids eat lunch with your child at the same time?  It sounds stupid, but some lunches are so crowded and lunch periods can be so short, that sometimes students who go through the hot lunch line only get about 5-10 minutes to eat their lunch before the period is over and it's time to go back to class.  In this case, packing your lunch has an advantage in that it provides you a more leisurely lunch.  If your child is an exceptionally slow eater (and keep in mind that A LOT of socializing goes on during lunch so kids will eat more slowly), then packing might be the best way to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-13T13:01:27.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4539" CreationDate="2012-03-13T13:05:25.747" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would let the child observe you with books giving extreme reverence to them.  If he sees you treating the books very specially he will learn from your example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two sons who were extreme opposites when it came to books.  One wanted to build with them and the other wanted to read the stories.  As they got older, if I wanted to punish one, I'd send him to his room.  If I wanted to punish the other, I'd send him outside to play.  Just remember that no matter what happens at this age, when they turn 16, they all drive the same :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2382" LastActivityDate="2012-03-13T13:05:25.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4542" CreationDate="2012-03-13T15:22:07.090" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't cut any of my kids hair until age 3 (even my son, as it is a Jewish tradition).  Their hair ranged in length.  They didn't so much like when I put it up to keep it our of their face, however, that was the only down side.  I don't see the danger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-13T15:22:07.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4546" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4551" CreationDate="2012-03-13T16:30:54.193" Score="4" ViewCount="596" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4410/nightowl-at-5-years-old-any-way-of-dealing-with-it&quot;&gt;Nightowl at 5 years old. Any way of dealing with it?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 3 and 5 year-olds won't sleep before 10 pm and won't wake up before about 9 am.  They share the same bedroom.  How can we shift their sleep time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T02:37:01.277" Title="What to do about night owl kids?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2012-03-15T11:54:37.837" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4542" CreationDate="2012-03-13T18:42:29.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My youngest has only had one trip to get rid of some split ends - she is nearly 6, so her hair is long enough to sit on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She had no problems with long hair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, during hot months we would tie it up into a pony tail, but that was just to help keep her cool and to stop her hair getting sweaty and tangled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a look at the answers on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3317/316&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; about cutting a 15 month old's hair - I think  they will be relevant for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-03-13T18:42:29.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4546" CreationDate="2012-03-13T21:10:53.067" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You haven't explained what they are doing instead (fighting, running around, watching TV??) so there may be many options, but try the following to get them in a bedtime mood earlier:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try having bathtime and teeth cleaning at 7pm&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;allow them a little time in pyjamas to read or other restful activity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;warm milk helps calm alert children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;read them a story in bed if they are behaving and settled early&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lights out by 8&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely don't let them watch TV - it doesn't help small children get a restful sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if they still have a nap time during the day, make sure it's not too late in the day. If the nap from 2 to 4 in the afternoon, they're not likely to be sleepy at 7. Shorter, earlier naps, or possibly none at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the mornings, get them up at the time you require. They may be tired and grumpy until they have sorted out the schedule change, but that is normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-03-13T22:10:16.737" LastActivityDate="2012-03-13T22:10:16.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4542" CreationDate="2012-03-14T02:00:58.077" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NO&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long hair in infants and toddlers is not dangerous. It can be irritating for mom and dad as the kid gets active and the hair gets dirty and tangled and requires more attention, but that is about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T02:00:58.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4532" CreationDate="2012-03-14T02:28:07.373" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe that your child will suffer any long term emotional or stress-related damage from this, although I have no stats of references to support it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My primary reason for being convinced of this is that I live in litigation crazy California, and I haven't heard of it. If there was any chance that alarms caused trouble, class-action lawsuits would have been filed, breathless TV news people would be wondering if fire alarms caused autism or learning disabilities or aspergers, and the teachers union would be demanding sick leave for teachers after an alarm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T02:28:07.373" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4546" CreationDate="2012-03-14T02:37:01.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4548/1004&quot;&gt;Rory&lt;/a&gt;, but would expand on the answer some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I came up with the following practices to deal with this issue over the years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1/ Make a standard night routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2/ Wake up time is what really matters.  If the kid wakes up grumpy, the kid goes to bed earlier that evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3/ Worry less about whether the kids are sleeping and more about whether they are in their room quiet. Who cares if they stay awake for a couple of hours after bedtime, as long as they are quiet, let you alone, and wake up in a good mood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4/ Avoid long naps, but an afternoon quiet time is very appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T02:37:01.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4552" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4557" CreationDate="2012-03-14T15:45:58.250" Score="6" ViewCount="12153" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has been in an infant seat since birth, but is now 16lbs, and very near the height limit for this seat. We have received a nearly-new convertible seat from friends, but have a few questions about installing it in our compact car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The documentation (linked below) indicates that the seat may only be used rear-facing in its most fully-reclined position (of three). What is the rationale for this instruction? The back seat of our Yaris cannot accommodate the seat fully reclined, however it fits without a problem in the middle and upright positions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can understand the seat needing to be fully reclined to accommodate an infant without proper head control, but our child is nearly walking! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The seat in question is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safety1st.com/usa/eng/DJGFiles/ProductDocuments/43583340D.pdf&quot;&gt;Alpha Omega Elite&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2387" LastActivityDate="2012-04-26T17:56:00.820" Title="Why must a toddler car seat be fully reclined when installed rear-facing?" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-03-14T21:26:50.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found that a pump was very useful to deal with any problems that come along such as clotting of milk in the breast. If the clot is not cleared, then it can lead to a serious infection. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Belgium, pumps can be borrowed (for free) from the health insurance company, so there's certainly no loss getting one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T21:26:50.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4554" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4556" CreationDate="2012-03-14T21:29:27.600" Score="6" ViewCount="407" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, 2-3 years old, enjoys being outside with me but can sometimes get in the way of the work I am trying to do. If I am patient enough we both enjoy it, if not it turns sour for both of us. I usually lose my patience as the sun is setting and my work is not done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please suggest activities that will engage him, will give him skills, and keep us both in good spirits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-03-15T12:19:22.587" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T15:30:18.460" Title="What are some outdoor activities that a toddler can be engaged in while I'm working outside in the garden/yard?" Tags="|toddler|outdoor|play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4552" CreationDate="2012-03-14T23:31:09.583" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have this car seat. Part of that requirement has to to with the angle of the seat coupled with the shape of the seat. The car seat does not meet the safety standards unless in the proper rear facing configuration. Additionally, regardless of your child having head control, if the seat is not leaned back enough, when you go uphill it can cause strain on your child against the shoulder harness. I know we had to make some sacrifices to our comfort to fit our daughter's seat in, but it is now recommended that they are rear facing until 2 years old (I know some states have already implemented that standard).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T23:31:09.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4554" CreationDate="2012-03-14T23:33:39.783" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;When mine were younger, I would give them some of the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;their own fork, shovel and bucket and a piece of soil they could dig in&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;similarly, a toy mower (and a toy vacuum cleaner, which bizarrely was more popular in the garden)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a bucket and a hose (turned on, but not too much :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;outdoor bowls and a series of targets&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;play tents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a sand pit&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Duplo lego (the big stuff)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kept them very busy, but I did intersperse the toys with letting them help me by collecting grass and twigs for the composter etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-03-14T23:33:39.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4552" CreationDate="2012-03-15T01:00:39.063" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmmmm...the book is somewhat confusing because it indicates that it MUST be in the fully-reclined position in rear-facing, but then it says &quot;This child restraint must always face the rear of the vehicle and be in the fully reclined position when the child weighs between 5-35 lbs. &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; is less than one year old&quot; which sort of leads me to believe that once the child is OVER a year old it's ok to adjust the recline to the middle position and still have the seat rear-facing.  I would tend to agree with you that a one-year-old should be able to handle rear-facing in the semi-reclined position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Yaris is a pretty small vehicle so I can see where having a seat fully-reclined might not be much of a possibility, and if it came down to forward-facing or rear-facing in a semi-reclined position there's no doubt that rear-facing is the safer of the two options.  &lt;strong&gt;Could you take your car and the carseat to have it installed by a police department or local organization that does that kind of thing?&lt;/strong&gt; Every time I've had one installed or inspected by those groups, they've been extremely knowledgeable and they might be able to explain the logic behind the carseat manufacturer's instructions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-03-15T11:09:44.537" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T11:09:44.537" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4558" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-15T01:43:20.260" Score="14" ViewCount="4286" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've being looking online for a to buy list of basic items we should buy before having a baby. We are planning to move so we want to buy just the basic needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2298" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T09:50:36.653" LastActivityDate="2017-06-18T13:42:50.957" Title="What are the basic items we should buy to receive our new baby?" Tags="|newborn|money|working-parents|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4558" CreationDate="2012-03-15T02:32:50.247" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We didn't end up using everything that we bought before our baby was born. Some things, like baby oil, sounded useful but weren't. Someone may find a particular item necessary, but as time goes on, you may develop different opinions. I would recommend buying as little as possible before the baby is born, and then buy a few things at a time as you need them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only items that I found to be absolutely essential were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a car seat (to get the baby home)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby wipes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;basic clothing (which will quickly be outgrown)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're not absolutely sure you'll need something, my advice is to wait.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2385" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T02:32:50.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4558" CreationDate="2012-03-15T04:05:45.937" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing you will need for child right away is a safe place to sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want a crib, a co-sleeper, something like a Pack n Play, or something like a Rock n Play Sleeper - or more than one place to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="726" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T04:05:45.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4558" CreationDate="2012-03-15T04:17:15.957" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Car seat, diapers, wipes, clothes are obviously some good suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend a changing station of some kind. Yes, you could change them on the floor or a bed but as many times as you change a diaper, its a nice thing to have. We have something that lays on a dresser and helps keep the baby from rolling off while you are changing them. We use it every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Related to that would be a separate trash can or diaper pail for soiled diapers. In my opinion, a must have. We also use this every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pacifiers and some kind of toy or blanket will help the baby sleep better. And believe me, sleep is important (more so for you). We use both every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottles are also convenient if you guys are breastfeeding and critical if you are not. Again, every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also would recommend baby lotion. Especially when they are first born, their skin needs lotion after every bath. You guessed it, every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I both found gas drops to be useful too. Not something you would necessarily think of, but sometimes babies get fussy for no apparent reason and when you need them you need them. We use this sometimes - more when he was younger and less often now (1 year).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you plan on leaving your house ever, a diaper bag to put diapers, wipes, pacifiers, toys, formula, bottles, etc. Also every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T04:17:15.957" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4552" CreationDate="2012-03-15T05:04:01.617" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The rear seat of a car is sometimes angled.  See the later pages (page 49) in the book which talk about using a rolled towel under the front edge of the seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of force involved in a car crash.  Perhaps the reclining system is safer if it's already fully reclined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T05:04:01.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4558" CreationDate="2012-03-15T07:23:55.427" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I could make a &lt;em&gt;looong&lt;/em&gt; list out of this, but let's turn it into a group effort:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;EDIT THIS ANSWER to add whatever you feel is missing.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For each item, consider adding a &lt;em&gt;short&lt;/em&gt; explanation.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;If we disagree&lt;/strong&gt; on individual items then that makes for &lt;strong&gt;a great new question!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Useful consumables:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;about two million diapers :-) either disposable or cloth according to your preference, but even cloth diapers have consumables that you'll need aplenty.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cotton cosmetic pads: used with warm tap water, these are all you need for diaper changes at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;wet wipes: For cleaning dirty fingers and soiled bums when on the road.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pacifiers are consumables too. They get lost or damaged. Try a few different types in the beginning to discover which kind the newborn prefers, then stick with that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;infant first-aid kit: check with your pediatrician what your infant first-aid kit needs to contain. Medication against high fever is a good start.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;earplugs: sometimes the screaming won't stop and you need to take the edge of it, or perhaps to allow one partner to sleep and the other to deal with the baby. (Don't ignore the screaming.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cotton swabs: useful for cleaning out dirty ears (outside only, do not insert into ear canal) or noses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;saline nasal drops to work snot in stuffy noses loose for aspirating (may not need to aspirate after using saline nasal drops)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other useful items:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You can get some of these things used, and some of them you'd probably prefer to buy new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to be aware of: parents who have 1-year olds will practically PAY for you to take their 0-6 months stuff away from them. We saved a FORTUNE when my partner spoke to one of her colleagues. Seriously, we got half the stuff on this list free. Try putting up flyers in nurseries, and hire a van.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;infant car seat: we rented an approved seat from the local automobile association.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lots of onesies for warm-weather babies: hand-me-downs and gifts, and the occasional purchase (for cost-sensitive parents check your local thrift store).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;one piece long-sleeved footed outfits for cold-weather newborns.  Determine if you prefer snaps - you can change a diaper by just unsnapping the bottom portion, thus keeping the baby warmer and, if baby was asleep, drowsier, but you have to actually snap each snap up - or a zipper.  Zippers require opening the whole outfit for each diaper change and also require putting a leg in and out of the non-zippered side but are easier to manage as a sleep-deprived parent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lots of cloth diapers: useful for many things like cleaning up spit, covering against a draft or bright lights, and so on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a diaper bag: We thought that any old bag would do, but the bags that are &lt;em&gt;purpose-made&lt;/em&gt; for this really are much more convenient.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a crib or other safe sleeping place. (No toys/blankets/pillows for newborns!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bottles and storage containers for breast milk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a sterilization device: a stand-alone unit or something that goes into the microwave oven.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a baby monitor: often a very simple device will suffice. Don't get a super-advanced model unless you actually require specific features. Make sure it uses &lt;code&gt;DECT&lt;/code&gt; or the static will drive you insane. Also, some landline phones have a built-in room monitor feature that works pretty well as a a baby monitor.  Note that this is only required in homes big enough where you cannot hear your baby when your baby needs you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a night light: it's useful to have only a &lt;em&gt;little&lt;/em&gt; light when you go check on the baby at night. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=nasal+aspirator&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;prmd=imvnsr&amp;amp;bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.,cf.osb&amp;amp;biw=1600&amp;amp;bih=815&amp;amp;um=1&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;amp;tbm=shop&amp;amp;cid=8593841998065504623&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=zBNiT8GZM4rGtgfYz5iWCA&amp;amp;ved=0CIABEPMCMAI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;nasal aspirator&lt;/a&gt; for clearing out stuffed noses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Large blankets for swaddling babies who back sleep as per medical guidelines.  Swaddling prevents the newborn Moro reflex from waking a back sleeping baby.  Hospital receiving blankets work in the newborn phase, but as the baby gets larger it is useful to have a bigger blanket.  There are also special purpose swaddling products, but do your research because not all products work equally well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;May be or may not be needed:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The baby-product industry is trying very hard to convince you that you need a million essential products to take proper care of your baby, and first-time parents are often tempted to believe this. But babies have coped for thousands of years without special products, so perhaps not &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; the industry offers is really needed? Your choices will probably be different, but here are some things that we did not need:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby wipes:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We use small cosmetic cotton pads and tap water. It's much cheaper and has no chemicals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby soaps:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Except for really dirty work, bathing newborns and infants in warm water is enough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby lotions:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The skin of newborns and infants produces enough natural protection to not need further lotions unless they're washed with soaps in the first place.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diaper trash can:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Our bathroom trashcan has a lid, so smell is not a problem (until you open it). The trashcan is small and only takes 3-5 diapers in total, so there's not much stink in the first place. We use cheap small plastic bags as a liner to easily empty the trash. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby bathtub:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;At first we used our bathroom sink and later on moved to the regular bathtub with just a few centimeters of water in it. (Never leave the baby unsupervised!!) &lt;em&gt;Note: if your child is big for his/her age, and you don't have an actual bathtub, you may wind up needing one of these for the a while once they outgrow the sink.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diaper changing station:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We do the diaper changes in the bathroom. The washing machine is next to the sink and it makes for a great diaper changing station when covered with a soft surface (e.g. two folded towels). Easy access to warm water is very useful too, of course. Oh, and sometimes you realize mid-change that baby needs a bath ... I wouldn't want to carry him through the home at that time! &lt;em&gt;Note: This assumes you have room in your bathroom, or your washing machine is convenient. In my house, neither is true, and our diaper changing station, built onto the end of the crib, is something neither my wife or I would like to do without. Additionally, you don't need a specialized &quot;changing table,&quot; a table with a changing pad and somewhere to put diapers, cream, etc. within reach is really all you need.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bottle warmer: There's usually a microwave oven nearby. (Stir after heating to remove &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/latest-questions/question/1622/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hot spots&lt;/a&gt;.) Alternately, for those that don't have microwaves (there's actually some controversy about safety) you can just hold the bottle under running hot tap water for a 20 seconds while shaking it around.  You always test it by dropping a drop on your inner wrist, so there's no danger in overheating.  This also works great when you're traveling.  To defrost frozen breastmilk or warm a bottle that has been in the refrigerator you can place in a container of warm tap water.&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Note that breastmilk should &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; be warmed in the microwave, so bottles of expressed breastmilk should be warmed in warm water or, if you plan to do it frequently, a warmer can be helpful to speed the process and more quickly soothe your hungry baby.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pacifier.  These are OPTIONAL.  Many parents don't use them.  They are a mixed blessing. Do some research before committing to use pacifiers.  If you do use a pacifier do not stock up on a single type.  Each baby may prefer a different pacifier.  Find out if your hospital provides pacifiers and start with those, then try different brands from there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:43:58.023" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:43:58.023" CommentCount="9" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-03-15T07:23:55.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4564" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4565" CreationDate="2012-03-15T11:22:18.133" Score="0" ViewCount="543" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of the developmental questions on this site are about Language, but I'm less anxious about missing language milestones than I am about other potential developmental milestones that I may be unaware of, for example &quot;cognitive&quot;, &quot;mobility&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T15:01:52.973" Title="What types of developmental milestones should we be concerned about?" Tags="|toddler|infant|newborn|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2012-03-15T14:55:44.067" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4564" CreationDate="2012-03-15T13:17:00.263" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just off the top of my head, I thought of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cognitive&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Social&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Emotional (sometimes this is combined with #2)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Physical (which includes mobility but mostly fine and gross motor skills in general)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Visual&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Aural&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Oral (This doesn't just include language, but also eating and the ability to properly manipulate the mouth/tongue which will influence language development)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Technically, 5 and 6 aren't true milestones, but from my own experience I truly believe that these two things are important enough to warrant a separate point.  Before we got C's new RGP lenses, she was starting to get well behind on her development, but as soon as we changed she began hitting milestones like crazy and is completely caught up.  The same is true with her language development.  We had a really hard time with ear infections for a few months, and a couple of weeks after we had tubes put in her vocabulary just exploded.  I can't prove that the tubes were the primary reason for that...it might just be that she was due for a vocab explosion anyway, but I don't believe it's a coincidence.  I've listed a couple of websites below with some good general milestones (but it seems like every website has a different list).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDC&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://uppua.org/pdfs/CW%20II%20Handouts/Effects%20of%20Abuse%20and%20Neglect%20on%20Child%20Development/Development_Chart_for_Booklet.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Developmental Milestones Chart&lt;/a&gt; (newborn through adolescence)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aoa.org/x9420.xml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Visual development&lt;/a&gt;  An interesting aside to this that I believe was pointed out to us by our pediatric ophthalmologist is that children's peripheral vision isn't fully formed until they're 10 years old!  Ten!  Takes on a whole new meaning when your child is fully mobile and sprinting for a parking lot with an on-coming car!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/development/hearing/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Aural development&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-03-15T15:01:52.973" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T15:01:52.973" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4554" CreationDate="2012-03-15T15:30:18.460" Score="4" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Their own corner of the garden to dig in&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Paintbrushes and a bucket of water to &quot;Paint&quot; the sidewalk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;An empty bucket and a pile of rocks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have a yard ornament that looks like a frog with a hole in the mouth, my boys are 2 and love to &quot;feed&quot; the froggy every time we go outside.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T15:30:18.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4558" CreationDate="2012-03-15T19:03:05.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a new parent I know how easy it is to over think this question.  By doing so you end up with a lot of things you will never use and/or don't need.  My list does not differ much from the other answers; I just suggest thinking about it differently.  The basic needs of your child will fall into the constraints of the basic needs of any human being.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Food&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bottles &amp;amp; nipples (warmers and cleaners)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breastfeeding supplies (bras, pads, pillows, and pumps)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;OR&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Formula&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Shelter&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Crib/Bassinet(sheets &amp;amp; blankets)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;OR&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Co-sleeping method of choice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Clothing&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diapers (Changing table, changing pad(s), wipes)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Onesies, Sleep sacks, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Suitable trash/hamper for diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Suitable hamper for soiled clothes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Transportation&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thebabywearer.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sling to wear the baby&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child car seat (Usually &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safekids.org/in-your-area/safety-laws/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;required in the US&lt;/a&gt; to be discharged from the hospital)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything else is probably extra.  There are a few things I found that we would not want to do without and I'm sure your own list will come from the needs expressed after you get your child home.  A few of the &quot;non-basic items&quot; we have added:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Infant seating (&lt;a href=&quot;http://shopboppy.com/shop/index.php?main_page=index&amp;amp;cPath=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Boppy&lt;/a&gt;, hammock, bouncy seat, swing): Because sometimes you need your hands and you don't want your baby hanging in front of you in a sling.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling blankets: Our daughter has a really strong startle reflex.  She probably would never sleep if we didn't swaddle her.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Heater: It turns out that this was for my wife as much as the babies now that she spends several hours a day topless.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1286" LastEditorUserId="1286" LastEditDate="2012-11-01T20:23:47.210" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T20:23:47.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4568" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6459" CreationDate="2012-03-15T20:12:54.473" Score="9" ViewCount="105510" Body="&lt;p&gt;we have a 2 year old and we've been trying to do some potty training. She is very interested in using the potty and likes underwear. She also is very aware of when she goes. She'll tell us right after she pees. But that's the problem. How can we get her to tell us before she pees so we can let her sit on the potty? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we tried sitting her on the potty for 5-10 minutes after &quot;typical&quot; pee times, such as when she wakes up in the morning(she wakes up dry). But she never has went in the potty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2391" LastActivityDate="2016-07-19T16:21:32.200" Title="Getting a kid to tell you Before they go to the bathroom" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4569" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-15T20:14:24.837" Score="10" ViewCount="6695" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are currently debating whether or not we should use a child harness (aka leash). It'd be great to take our son to the park and let him walk around on his own without having to chase him everywhere. However, I've always been against the idea of putting a leash on my child though now as a parent I understand why one would want to. Would love to know what others think, pros and cons to using one, and possible recommendations if we do decide to use one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="189" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T00:00:31.877" Title="Should I use a child harness?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4569" CreationDate="2012-03-15T20:42:12.987" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought one for my son when he was about 18 months old and wanted to walk everywhere, but everywhere literally meant EVERYWHERE.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, we only used it maybe 10 times.  It wasn't that our son minded wearing it, we just didn't use it as much as we thought we would--mostly because kids that age generally don't really get &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; far away from you even if they do sort of wander off.  Our daughter is now around that same age and we haven't even bothered--whenever we take her somewhere like a park, we allow her some space and stay within about 2-3 feet of her.  If she's climbing on a play structure we stay closer in case she takes a nosedive.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If&lt;/em&gt; we were to go to an amusement park or something like that, I can see the benefits of the leash being greater because it is so easy to lose your kid in places like Disney even if they only get a few feet away from you, but for day-to-day stuff we didn't find it incredibly useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T20:42:12.987" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4568" CreationDate="2012-03-15T21:45:40.703" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It takes some practice for kids to really learn what it feels like to &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to use the potty.  When we first tried potty training our son, we put him directly into underwear and it was a big flop.  We think the underwear just felt too similar to wearing a diaper to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the second time we had a go at potty training, we let him run around naked from the waist down for a long weekend (3 days) at home.  He had a few accidents (mostly pee), but seeing the pee run down his leg helped him make the connection between the sensation of &lt;em&gt;needing&lt;/em&gt; to pee and actually peeing.  We kept the potty in the living room so he wouldn't have to run far if he needed to pee, and every  time he got something in the potty we made a big deal about it (we sang, we danced, he got stickers....) even if it was only a little bit and the rest got on the carpet.  We kept him plenty hydrated, and asked him very frequently if he needed to potty.  If we felt like he hadn't used the potty in awhile, we'd make him sit on the potty for a few minutes either until he went or it was clear he didn't need to use the potty (4-5 minutes or so--we'd read a short book while he sat on the potty).  After a few hours of this, he started getting the hang of it and would run to the potty if he had the slightest inkling that he needed to pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband found this method on the website of a woman who has supposedly potty trained children as young as 1 year old.  She recommends that you continue to have your child naked from the waist-down whenever they're at home for 3 months after the initial weekend of training, that you have them use the potty before you leave the house and immediately after you return home so that they get in the habit, etc.  We circumvented some of the later suggestions because our son was older and didn't really need the constant reinforcement that younger children need.  Within a couple of weeks he was consistently using the potty and we'd only have the random accident (usually when he was so absorbed in what he was doing that he wasn't paying attention), but that more or less too care of itself after a little while, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-15T21:45:40.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4569" CreationDate="2012-03-15T22:28:36.783" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, use a harness&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bought one that looks like a cool kids backpack but has a 3 foot long cord. The children love wearing it as we put their toys/comforter, some fruit and a drink inside. We use it every time we go out walking near roads or area where we need to be sure they won't run off. It has prevented them running in front of cars at least three times (particularly in car parking areas) and also stopped them hitting their head on hard ground when they fell as I used the cord to lower them slowly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your children are able to understand not to run off or towards traffic, you can reduce the use. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people think it is cruel. I wouldn't know - but my children have not been hit by cars, still have all their teeth and no scars on their faces. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="18" LastEditDate="2012-03-17T00:45:58.710" LastActivityDate="2012-03-17T00:45:58.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4569" CreationDate="2012-03-16T01:32:35.053" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used one a fair bit at that middle toddler stage with all three of our kids - when shopping, at festivals, anywhere crowded or when walking near busy roads it helped us in three ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we knew they wouldn't suddenly randomly run into the road&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we knew we wouldn't lose them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and most importantly&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when they tripped and fell we could catch them before they faceplanted. At that clumsy stage in walking development they are very handy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-03-16T01:32:35.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4575" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4577" CreationDate="2012-03-16T12:42:51.897" Score="7" ViewCount="1033" Body="&lt;p&gt;I keep hearing about how bad things get once a child enters the &quot;terrible twos&quot;.  I know quite a few parents who claim that the age is just a natural time for frequent temper tantrums, and non-stop pushing of boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I've also heard from a number of sources that it doesn't have to be this way.  It seems that not every child pitches themselves on the floor and screams their head off every time they don't get their way in their third year of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there strategies that can be used to help prevent the main temper issues that are associated with this age?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-03-24T13:29:18.720" Title="How do you prepare for the &quot;terrible twos&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|tantrums|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4575" CreationDate="2012-03-16T13:06:14.050" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, if you are expecting it it may be a self fulfilling prophecy, so stop worrying.  I don't think there is much you can do to stop it if you child chooses to display these behaviors there are a couple of things you can do to make them dissipate.  Tantrums will come at some point,  more then likely, if not at two then at three or even later.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I  have found that removing the child from the room and saying very calmly &quot;you may return when you stop crying' works pretty well. One of my children was able to go for almost half and hour before she discovered we were serious, that is the hard part but YOU CAN NOT GIVE IN!&#xA;When they do return ask, is there something you need or want to talk about, usually after so many tears they have forgotten why they were crying!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, and just love them, no matter the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-16T13:06:14.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4575" CreationDate="2012-03-16T16:01:01.633" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The twos aren't really that terrible.  The threes seemed to be a much bigger challenge than the twos were for us (and for our friends with kids), and four is proving to be a challenge too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was never a big tantrum-thrower.  He's more of a whiner.  Maybe I'm being optimistic, but I think if you've set consistent boundaries before the &quot;terrible twos&quot; set in, then it makes the twos easier.  We've done time-outs from the time that Andrew was old enough to be testing boundaries, and we continued with the time-outs throughout the twos and the threes and now the fours.  He doesn't like it, but if you enjoy a punishment then it isn't really a punishment anymore.  But it's not like he just sits in time-out and then we move on.  After his time-out, we sit down with him and discuss with him (simply) why he was put in time-out, and then we reassure him that we still love him, we'll always love him, and we hug and move on.  Will you encounter &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; timeouts as he moves into the twos?  Yes.  Does he need to go in timeout for &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;?  No.  There are times when he's going to act out because he's tired or bored and I've never felt like it was fair to punish a young child for something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also important to realize that many tantrums stem from a two-year-olds inability to clearly articulate their wants and needs, so encouraging your child to talk and helping to expand your child's vocabulary will help wonders.  And sometimes you know what the problem is, but you have to carry through with your course of action anyway.  For example, if we go somewhere and our son is having a blast, then he gets a little whiny when it's time to leave.  We know he's whiny because he wants to stay, but when it's time to go it's time to go.  It helps if you clearly communicate to him that you understand why he's upset (&quot;I know you want to stay and play because you're having fun&quot;) and then explain simply why it's time to go (&quot;but now it's time to go home and make dinner&quot;).  If you can add in something that's fun that he can look forward to when he gets home then it makes it easier, too (&quot;Would you like to help me cook dinner?&quot; or &quot;Would you like to play with your train when we get home?&quot;).  You're also modeling good communication skills to your child.  Clearly if a child is in the midst of an utter meltdown, this approach won't work and sometimes all you can do is pick up your child and leave.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, allowing them to have &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; power is a good idea and then you avoid some of the inevitable power-struggles that lead to toddler meltdowns.  Letting them choose which pair of pants they want to wear that day or choose which movie you're going to watch or what books to read at bedtime.  They don't have to be big decisions.  In fact, our rule is, &quot;If it was an important decision, I wouldn't let the kids make it&quot;, but does it &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; matter which long-sleeve t-shirt he wears that day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-16T16:01:01.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4575" CreationDate="2012-03-16T19:18:23.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The twos are indeed terrible. But with our son, I found that once we started understanding what he actually needed, the situation got much better for him and us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two year olds need&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Highly perceptive and adaptive parents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lots of hugs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plenty of two-way conversation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Education (start with numbers then introduce letters)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Structured activities such as drawing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A healthy dose of pre-school TV shows&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consistent routine&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bonus points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;iPad with a collection of age-appropriate apps&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things to avoid&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allowing them to turn lights on/off, open/close doors, etc. as a matter of routine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trying to reason with them using if-then constructs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting temptation in their way. It's better to prevent rather than punish.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the &quot;things to avoid&quot; list: If you allow a two year old to come to expect that he/she will always do those little things (and it doesn't take much to establish that expectation), you will end up with a very angry toddler. Your toddler won't just be angry when someone else does one of these things - he/she will be angry all the time due to the burden of having that power. Fortunately, this can be undone if you stage a coup d'état. It will be ugly, but you'll have a happy toddler in no time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching a toddler to count is very important because you can introduce the concept of sequences. They don't understand &quot;if you don't eat your greens you won't get dessert&quot;, but if they can count they can quickly be taught that things happen in a certain order. So if you say, &quot;One: eat your dinner. Two: have dessert.&quot; they start to get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look past the terrible aspect of twos, it can be a very rewarding time for parents. This is a year of massive mental growth for children. They learn so much. You just need to be patient and understand what they need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastEditorDisplayName="user1975" LastEditDate="2012-03-16T20:41:25.407" LastActivityDate="2012-03-16T20:41:25.407" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3870" CreationDate="2012-03-16T19:31:35.213" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will never succeed in making the iPad or iPhone unattractive to anyone let alone a toddler. Instead, turn what you see as a negative into a positive. The iPad is a great educational device for young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Integrate your iPad into your two-year-old's daily routine. Just as you would set aside time for him to read books, draw pictures, play with toys, watch TV, go for a walk and other activities, sit him down at a table or desk with the iPad each day. There are plenty of good educational apps for children of all ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is exactly what we have been doing with our son since his early twos. He can count to twenty, identify digits, knows the alphabet back to front, and is learning how to spell three-letter words. He has just turned three and knows more about letters, numbers, shapes, colors, animals, etc. than most kids on their first day of school. And &lt;strong&gt;he is not addicted to the iPad at all&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the iPhone goes, have you considered bringing up a YouTube video that he can watch while you change him after a number two? We use an alphabet song. It breaks his boredom, makes him cooperate and educates him all at the same time. And like the iPad routine, &lt;strong&gt;it reduces the iPhone's novelty factor&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result of his iPad and limited iPhone usage, he doesn't try to grab my wife's iPhone or iPad when my wife is using either of them, because he knows there's a time and place for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastEditorDisplayName="user1975" LastEditDate="2012-03-17T02:41:29.243" LastActivityDate="2012-03-17T02:41:29.243" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4569" CreationDate="2012-03-16T19:43:25.637" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When children start walking - and for the next year or so - they have an unhealthy attraction to the road. Your child's safety is far more important than the looks you'll get from bleeding-heart, childless know-it-alls, so I would say yes, get a harness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get a harness with a soft animal toy build into it, so it looks like a cute little animal is hitching a ride. Our son quite liked it. It seems to change other people's perception from &quot;isn't that cruel&quot; to &quot;isn't that cute&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think of the harness in the same way as training wheels for a bike. You use it to teach a toddler to walk on paths and only cross the road when it's safe. You won't need it for long because from about 18 months onwards they're quite happy to hold your hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastEditorDisplayName="user1975" LastEditDate="2012-03-19T23:35:30.677" LastActivityDate="2012-03-19T23:35:30.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4552" CreationDate="2012-03-16T21:43:31.120" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The recline angle when rear facing has to do with keeping the infant's airway clear.  Smaller infants with poor head control could have a hard time breathing if too upright in their car seats and their head leans forward.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is some info I found from the Cleveland Clinic (well respected medical experts).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://my.clevelandclinic.org/healthy_living/safety/hic_car_seat_safety.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://my.clevelandclinic.org/healthy_living/safety/hic_car_seat_safety.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And here is the relevant section:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Use your baby’s car seat rear-facing and semi-reclined no more than 45 degrees, so that the &gt;baby’s head stays in contact with the seat and the baby’s airway stays open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often your local fire department or police station have experts on staff who can advice you on how to install your car seat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2337" LastActivityDate="2012-03-16T21:43:31.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2012-03-17T03:10:02.063" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't wait until he is climbing out. Ideally, you should set the agenda so you can take the time to do it properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was our procedure over a number of weeks. Our son was 18 months old at the time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We bought him an adjustable bed from Ikea. We also bought side railings for both sides.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We encouraged him to play in his new bedroom around his new bed. The bed was always ready for him to lay in it - sheets, pillow, pillowcase, quilt, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We read &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0375822704&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Big Enough for a Bed&lt;/a&gt; to him every day for a while.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We encouraged him to lay in the bed just for fun.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We eventually put him in the bed for an afternoon sleep. He took to it like a duck to water.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were quite surprised with our success given that our son has always resisted change. Once he had that first afternoon sleep, he slept in the bed that same night and has continued to do so ever since then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1975" LastActivityDate="2012-03-17T03:10:02.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4583" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-17T12:37:11.473" Score="7" ViewCount="5645" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10-year-old daughter who has been struggling with school for the past 3 years. She struggles in reading and math and just seems to not get it. There was a time she would even cry when it was time to do her homework. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This year I moved into a great school district and her teacher noticed the things I was talking about and had her tested. The school psychologist evaluated my daughter because she was already receiving extra help and wasn't improving. They read her extams to her and gave her extra time with visual aids. They said they don't know what she retains. It's random facts or instructions. At home she does seem to forget things but can memorize songs and random details. The school told me after the testing the specialist found that my daughter's short term memory was not holding information the way it should. They want to place her in a special education classroom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been very hands on with everything. Since the evaluation report indicates that she has a learning disability, it establishes the fact she is eligible and recommended for special education. However it doesn't state what learning disability she may have. It's general for being a specific individual evaluation on a child. I asked her teacher about seeking medical attention and she stated she was not qualified to answer that. My daughter wears glasses to correct her vision and passed a hearing test. It's very frustrating not knowing and the school sugar coating everything. I can't get my daughter the best help if I don't know what help she needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I seek a neurologist? I'm worried! Her 9-year-old brother is gifted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2401" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-27T13:32:59.853" LastActivityDate="2019-03-27T13:32:59.853" Title="Should I seek a medical professional when the school says my 10-year-old has a learning disability?" Tags="|middle-childhood|special-needs|doctor|usa|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4584" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4586" CreationDate="2012-03-17T19:48:13.883" Score="8" ViewCount="2030" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2½ years old and he thinks he's figured out a smart trick to avoid having to sleep. Our responses sometimes work, and sometimes they don't. Even when they work, it's time-consuming and prevents us from our evening tasks or whatever we do after he's gone to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are effective ways of not letting his tricks succeed?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A while after he's gone to bed, he will sometimes &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3572/how-can-i-wean-my-toddler-off-the-pacifier-at-night&quot;&gt;demand another pacifier&lt;/a&gt;, or a drink of water. &lt;em&gt;Very loudly.&lt;/em&gt; If we deny it, there's no end of tears and cries, so he usually gets his request, but only once. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A while later, he might demand some oatmeal (his favorite breakfast). We never grant him that but explain that he'll get some in the morning, &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; he has slept, which mostly works. Or he wants one of us to stay with him, which we then often do for a few minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure his next invention will be to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2534/what-to-do-when-toddler-keeps-using-the-potty-to-stay-awake-at-bedtime&quot;&gt;demand to use the potty&lt;/a&gt;, which we would also have a hard time denying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... I have a feeling that we're too soft because too many of his blackmail attempts succeed. But I don't have the energy to cope with the crying, yelling, and an extra hour of &lt;em&gt;not sleeping&lt;/em&gt; that always follows when we deny his requests. Also, noise travels quickly to his room because we live in an apartment. He gets active when he hears a TV or my typing on the keyboard although I try to be quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has to change. Suggestions welcome!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T19:15:49.013" Title="How can I handle my toddler's bedtime-avoidance tricks?" Tags="|bedtime|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4583" CreationDate="2012-03-17T20:26:43.097" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it were one of my children, I would absolutely seek the advice of a medical professional.  All the school specialists have been able to tell you is that her short term memory is not functioning properly, but they have not told you &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; and they won't be able to.  A neurologist should be able to help you understand better what is going on with your daughter's short-term memory.  This is a condition that could possibly affect her for the rest of her life, and it would be best to get all the information you possibly can to establish a good plan for handling the situation, and the more knowledge you have about her condition the better advocate you can be for her and her education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will probably need to be placed in the special ed. program because she either a) has a learning disability or b) she has some sort of physical issue that is causing her learning disability.  I don't know if you're in the U.S. or another country, but in the United States she will have an IEP written up delineating the condition, the effect the condition has on her learning, and the special modifications that teachers need to make to help maximize her learning.  If your son is gifted and in the US, you might all ready be familiar with this process (though most parents of gifted students are not).  It is crucial that you be as involved in this process as you can possibly be so that you understand what is expected of the school, your daughter, and yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-17T20:26:43.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4584" CreationDate="2012-03-17T20:47:00.090" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When Andrew was going through this phase (which was accompanied by copious amounts of mommy-guilt because I was pregnant with our daughter and we had just moved him into his big-boy bed), we finally had to just let him be upset for awhile because it finally dawned on us that he was all ready cutting in to our evening work every single night with his constant getting out of bed/making demands/etc.  The key to him getting to bed at a reasonable hour and us getting our evening chores accomplished was breaking the habit.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Andrew was more prone to getting out of bed than making demands (or he'd make the demands once he came downstairs).  So we had to institute the pick-up and put back in bed approach.  There was no talking, no giving in to demands.  We made sure he had everything he needed before he got into bed (drink of water, a couple of crackers, blanket, pillow, paci, etc.).  It took about a week and the first few nights were really rough (I think one night he got out of bed about 15 times), but he finally got the picture that bedtime was bedtime.  We had to re-do this whole thing when we moved to our new house, but that took significantly less time the second time around (a couple of nights) and he didn't get out of bed as much.  I don't know if this would work for you because it doesn't sound like your son actually gets out of bed, he just yells.  Maybe going in there and laying him down and telling him no?  I hate to tell you to just ignore him or give him five minutes before you go in there and tell him no, but if he's not actually getting out of bed I'm not sure what would work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think kids think that Mommy and Daddy are having a big party after they go to bed and they don't want to miss it.  Or whatever Mom and Dad are doing is more fun than going to bed, so they invent ways to just stay up.  So we also sort of minimized noise and interruptions around the house one he was in bed (we'd turn down the TV, avoid running the vacuum cleaner, turn off the hallway lights, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-17T20:47:00.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4583" CreationDate="2012-03-18T03:09:49.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before you go and seek the neurologist I'd ask several questions: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What kind of specialist did they show her to and what did that specialist do?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your daughter learn better by sight or by ear?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your daughter have problems retaining information that is not reading or math such as current events?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem may not be the short term memory but the learning style for example I retain subjects better by reading them and I can hardly retain something that was verbally explained to me and not because I don't understand what it is that is being explained.  My wife on the other hand is the exact opposite and we were this way since we were kids as our parents told us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now once you get all these questions answered or find out that the school did or actually didn't do these I would seek a neurologist and have this looked at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2195" LastEditorUserId="2195" LastEditDate="2012-03-18T14:27:33.213" LastActivityDate="2012-03-18T14:27:33.213" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4589" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-18T18:34:22.013" Score="4" ViewCount="11542" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question is related to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3808/1922&quot;&gt;How do dealing with infant flipping over during sleep training?&lt;/a&gt;, but not exactly the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 5 month old daughter flips onto her stomach constantly. When you put her down on the play blanket, she immediately flips onto her stomach AND props herself up with her arms. This is okay during awake times when she can play with toys, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This becomes an issue when we try to put her down in her crib. She loves to flip over onto her stomach and pushing up with her arms. So, when she's in the crib, she's not even resting her head to try to sleep. (This is the part that differs from the above question). So, we can't put her down, unless she's already drowsy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we co-sleep with her at night (bring her into bed in the middle of the night when my wife nurses and when she's done, she stays with us) she sleeps between my wife and I. Her head level with our pillows. I would put her close to my stiff foam pillow so that it acts as a barrier for her so that she can't flip. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the only way to put a physical object next to her to block her from flipping? Even when she is partially swaddled (i.e. only legs are swaddled) she still can flip. She bring her legs up and swings to the right!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;CLARIFICATION&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue is not that she is &lt;em&gt;sleeping&lt;/em&gt; on her stomach, it's that she is propping herself up when she's on her stomach and can't put herself to sleep in that position. When we put her on her back, she returns to the propped up stomach position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-09-19T21:39:50.577" Title="5 month old won't fall asleep because she always turns herself onto her stomach" Tags="|infant|bedtime|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4589" CreationDate="2012-03-18T20:12:35.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the problem here? That she is staying awake? Or that she is sleeping on her stomach?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is staying awake, have a look at the answers to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/7/316&quot;&gt;this question.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about her sleeping on her stomach, I wouldn't be. I had a terrible time getting my first child to sleep (he slept about 4 hours a night, tops) and I always worried because he was trying to turn onto his front - and the midwives had said we should never let him do that (never gave any good stats on why, though...the info on sudden infant death syndrome doesn't seem to make any link so I'm not sure why they told us)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we had 2 and 3 we let them sleep on their front from about 3 months, and they absolutely loved it. Excellent sleepers from then onwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-03-18T20:12:35.083" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4589" CreationDate="2012-03-19T00:28:53.773" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a modern &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/sids.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SIDS&lt;/a&gt; concern to worry about a baby to sleeping on their stomach.  My mother tells me that I slept on my stomach and my 18 year old also did.  However for our 4 year old, this was a concern which we researched.  I recommend reviewing these two products:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_SPM6563846802P&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wedge Pillow&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B005GNQQZO&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Side Sleeping Pillow&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used the side sleeping pillow with success.  I would like to mention that it's not the best idea to allow the child to sleep with the parents.  There are many articles with unfortunate results from doing this.  It also allows the child to desire to sleep with the parents when they get older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Please note&lt;/strong&gt; that the FDA as issued a warning about using such pillows which may pose a suffocation risk.  While I have used such pillows w/o a problem, apparently 12 people have not.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fda.gov/FORCONSUMERS/CONSUMERUPDATES/UCM227575.HTM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Please read here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“The safest crib is a bare crib,” Susan Cummins, M.D., M.P.H says. “Always put your baby on his or her back to sleep. An easy way to remember this is to follow the ABC’s of safe sleep—Alone on the Back in a bare Crib.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2382" LastEditorUserId="2382" LastEditDate="2012-03-19T14:06:18.783" LastActivityDate="2012-03-19T14:06:18.783" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4592" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-19T02:51:02.287" Score="7" ViewCount="6684" Body="&lt;p&gt;ADD runs in our family (&quot;in fact, it practically &lt;em&gt;stampedes&lt;/em&gt;&quot;), and I'm starting to see my toddler's attention become more and more difficult for him to control; he's beginning to have difficulty maintaining focus in the face of mild distraction even to get something he desperately wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that children's brains are surprisingly elastic and that things like attention and impulse-control must be learned, and must be learned at an early age. So I'd like to give the boy as much of a advantage as he can get in the face of heredity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are there any well-defined exercise or activities that have been shown to increase a child's (ca. 3 to 5 years old) ability to resist distraction and increase impulse control?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;N.B.: I'm not looking for general advice (&quot;make sure he gets plenty of rest&quot;) or things to avoid (&quot;turn off the television&quot;), I'm looking for activities and games to play that will actually help improve concentration, attention, patience, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="701" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-01T23:24:13.167" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T23:24:13.167" Title="Attention-promoting activities for a toddler" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|activities|adhd|special-needs|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4592" CreationDate="2012-03-19T12:41:03.867" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have the same concern with my children with ADD for similar reasons.&#xA;I  found that playing games like Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Zingo and as they get a bit older games like Guess Who, Sorry, and games of that ilk really help them.  They enjoy the personal experience they have with a parent and they learn to sit, wait their turn, and finish out a game.  In the Beginning you may consider declaring a shorter end, for example half way through the board.  However, this must be done prior to beginning the game so the child doesn't learn that when they get board or loose attention they can just quit.  You must also be ready to invest your time, which I know sometimes can be hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, and either way your kids will be fine.  Also, don't forget that toddlers in general have a short attention span so don't fret (yet :)).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-19T12:41:03.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1687" CreationDate="2012-03-19T17:33:54.060" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you have a mirror in your car - the type that attaches to the headrest to let you see the baby?  When I removed the mirror, my son was much better about crying in the car seat.  The mirror does some perspective distortion and I imagine it is confusing seeing things in reverse for them.  I also removed the headrest from directly behind the car seat which helped him see out the back window more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2357" LastActivityDate="2012-03-19T17:33:54.060" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4583" CreationDate="2012-03-19T18:45:48.223" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 18 year old has an IEP (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individualized_Education_Program&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Individualized Education Program&lt;/a&gt;) because he has a low IQ (but not low enough).  He was tested when he was young by the school system because he struggled to comprehend.  However he was / is an awesome athlete and has a body of a Greek god.  I was in high IQ classes when I was in high school and I've always told myself that God gave me a jock to balance me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, your daughter may not have a problem at all.  She may have low confidence in herself.  I would suggest more carrot and less stick and see what happens.  After all, there's nothing wrong with a C student.  Back in the day, C was considered average, B was better, and A was exceptional.  However I feel that the school systems have forgotten that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I would get another opinion about her short term memory.  Either way, if the school system offers an IEP, you should consider it.  They will give her more time on tests and some help studying.  If her problem is not sever, she will still graduate with a normal diploma.  If her condition is more sever (as my son's may be) she will receive a diploma with IEP considerations - which just allows colleges to continue the process when she gets there.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may not end up being a rocket scientist, but she may be the best daughter in the world, future loving wife and mother.  Ultimately, that's far more important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2382" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-03-19T20:39:30.527" LastActivityDate="2012-03-19T20:39:30.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4592" CreationDate="2012-03-20T04:01:46.357" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm pushing 40 and I still have these issues. If there was a way to 'learn' how to fix ADD, I'd sure love to see it. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alas, there really isn't. There's coping strategies, though. A big one that really helps all children (and many of us ADD adults) is a consistent schedule. Perhaps set up a daily schedule and put it up on the wall. 8:30 breakfast. 8:45 get dressed, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could talk to a therapist/psychologist that specializes in children with ADD. Not sure they'd have you do a whole lot at the toddler age, though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, ADD isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just a different way of the brain working. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T04:01:46.357" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4584" CreationDate="2012-03-20T04:06:49.797" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Captain Obvious again ... you have to not let them work. Good parenting takes courage.  &lt;strong&gt;Show no fear!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give in to tantrum behavior. It needs to be punished, quickly and firmly. Raise the stakes. If the kid shouts, his teddy bear goes into time out.  He screams again, every other toy goes into time out. If he works himself into a frenzy, break the cycle .. hold his shoulders and stare into his eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest reading James Dobson's book &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentbooksummaries.com/the-new-strong-willed-child/&quot;&gt;The Strong Willed Child&lt;/a&gt;. The concepts in it changed how we raised our daughter and also saved our marriage, because we became able to deal with our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T04:06:49.797" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4584" CreationDate="2012-03-20T09:41:21.063" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read in a toddling book that the child has to pick up on the dullness of Mama and Papa's night life - if a request is granted, then without talking or emotion on behalf of the parents . If the child leaves his Crib/room/bed, he is put into bed without fuss, comment or excitement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child notices that Mummy and Daddy aren't really doing anything more exciting and sleep comes sooner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Paraphrased from a book br Dr. S Green (I think), who phrases it much better than me!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1158" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T09:41:21.063" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4599" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-20T09:50:08.603" Score="10" ViewCount="511" Body="&lt;p&gt;This Saturday my 4 year old is having 5 Kindergarten friends over to celebrate being one meter tall (it's a 'one meter party').&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'll have a house and (weather permitting) garden for an afternoon of playing, games and eating meter long cake, meter long sausages and the longest spaghetti we can find.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've had house guests before, but always with adults in tow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we're going to be two adults and 6 kids and want to hear about the obvious (and not so obvious) things we should be doing to ensure everything runs smoothly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Suggestions for ground rules&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What kind of games (and how many) to play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Methods for controlling arguments&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Name badges for the kids - yes or no? I only really know what one of them looks like, and would like to address them by name…&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anything else that comes to your collective minds.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All tips, advice, anecdotes, suggestions welcomed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1158" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-03-20T12:48:47.493" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T15:57:29.170" Title="Golden rule 'do's' and 'don'ts'' when holding a child's party - your experiences are asked!" Tags="|discipline|friends|rules|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4600" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4623" CreationDate="2012-03-20T10:03:02.970" Score="32" ViewCount="161720" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have always had trouble with our little boy not sleeping through the night. He will do it in spells (every night for a week, then not at all for a fortnight). But he has recently developed a frustrating habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having fallen asleep by 9 O'clock, he wakes again distressed at around midnight. When I come in to him, he is wide awake and asking to go downstairs to play. I usually try gently explaining that it is night-time and that he needs to go back to sleep. He is a clever boy, and I know he understands this, but the moment he is put back into bed he screams angrily and will not settle. It takes up to 4 hours for him to tire out enough to fall back asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried leaving him to cry, visiting intermittently. This technique is ineffective, since he tends to be more angry and upset each time I leave him. The other night I tried this for four hours- he was in an awful state by the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried sitting/lying in his room with him. This stops him crying but he is still wide-awake and keeps sitting up and talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're at the end of our tether at the moment. Can anyone suggest what would be a good way to get him to sleep through the night consistently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE: It's now 3 months on and his sleep is a lot better. Two things that made the difference for us: (1) A new &quot;big-boy&quot; duvet, instead of blankets/growbag (2) A toddler sleep-training clock, so he knows when he's supposed to get up.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-12-11T08:45:46.280" LastActivityDate="2018-10-14T10:12:05.227" Title="Getting a 2-year-old back to sleep in the middle of the night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4599" CreationDate="2012-03-20T12:40:20.643" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always do my parties at home.  I've been doing them since my oldest turned 3. She is now 8 and I have added 3 more kids to the mix, so you may consider me an expert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find games like 'Mr. Fox, Mr. Fox, what time is it&quot;, 'Red light, Green light' are great games, however they can't last very long (5-8min.) due to the potential of cheating after some boredom sets in for some kids, and this creates conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always go for a theme party, as it seems you have (some of mine, for other readers who may be interested, have been: bug party, pajama party, pirates do good deeds party, princes party, popcorn party, penguin party (I realize they are all p words, my daughter decided every party needs to start with p :))&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I go for age appropriate crafts, and quite a few of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My party runs for 1.5 hours and goes something like this (for the younger kids, as you are talking about):&#xA;1. As they come they choose 1 (or more than 1) out of 3 stations.  They are usually a beading project, playdough or legos, and some gluing/ sticker project. (all theme related).  You will need an adult at each station to help, explain, and ensure that the child's name goes on their projects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have set up a line of bags with the kids' names on them where they can deposit the projects as they go.  If they are too gluey they just put it in front of the bag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A group project, which is a bit harder.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Games&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cake&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Home&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get all the materials from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.orientaltrading.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;www.OrientalTrading.com&lt;/a&gt;, a great site for stuff like this (and goody bag materials)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any other questions or specific ideas for your party, or details about mine I will be happy to share, just let me know and I will add them to this post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, and most of all have fun, if you do so will they.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;oh- I also have a book prepared (on theme) in case we have that extra bit of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-03-20T15:57:29.170" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T15:57:29.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4599" CreationDate="2012-03-20T12:40:23.537" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keep it simple, keep it short, keep it contained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simple:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I would go with one or two games, with one more as a back-up. The kids may want to do more free-play than you thought, especially if the weather is nice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep the food you serve simple. Variety often leads to chaos. You don't want a fistfight over the only green cupcake.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These kids are not that far removed from the afternoon nap, and may only have a tolerance of an hour to ninety minutes. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay away from activities that require extended attention, or waiting patiently. The group may be a mixed bunch at that age, and you won't have parents nearby to get them back into line.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contained:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is basic, but keep all the kids together, and relentlessly count heads. When I worked daycare, we'd count every ten minutes. Kids are ninjas.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, yeah, and check EVERY parent's cell phone before they leave. My cousin ended up with a child at her house until 8pm, because the mother had left her cell at home and thought the party was a sleep-over. At least, that was her story, when they finally tracked her down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1454" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T12:40:23.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4600" CreationDate="2012-03-20T12:44:32.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I know this is counter intuitive, but put him to bed earlier.  When you are very tired you tend to wake up more (I find this true for me, my husband, and the kids)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put books in his bed and a light he can use on his own, so he has something to do in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Settle him down, leave and DO NOT GO BACK, he WILL stop eventually, and I know it is torture for you, but he will learn that it is at least quiet time if not sleeping time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4.Cut out a nap if you are still giving him one (I imagine he is taking a nap as he must be exhausted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be patient with yourself, it is frustrating, annoying, etc and it is easy to take out on him.  He is not doing this to get you, he is doing this because he wants to explore the world.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T12:44:32.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4600" CreationDate="2012-03-20T12:45:58.633" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first thought is that there are plenty of related questions with some useful answers on this site already. I've posted a few of them below. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you can approach this problem with several practices at once. Each one of these steps can be adjusted to what works best for your son:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure that your son is really, really tired. This will improve the chances that he will sleep longer in the first place. Stop or shorten the nap time during the day. Do stuff outdoors, and/or with other kids and/or adults.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a solid bedtime routine that does not change. This will help him understand that he's really meant to dial back now and relax. Make this routine longer if he's too excited to begin with. Include some more time-consuming elements like a bath or some book-reading if the routine is too short.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he does wake up at night, be very, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; consistent in how you deal with it. Put him back to bed and give him a cuddle, then say you'll be right back. Then leave the room for 30 seconds and return. Slowly increase the length of your absence every time: 1min, 2min, 3min, 5min, 7min, 10min...&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Note that this isn't something I'd generally advise to be used in the middle of the night; it's more often used at regular bedtime. But your case seems a bit worse than average so it might be a good way forward.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensure  that his bedroom is how he likes it. Too dark? Put up a small night light. Too bright? Hang better curtains. Too quiet? Add some white-noise generator. Too loud? Reduce noises (appliances?) if you can. Health issues? Check for allergies, draft air, and such things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Team up with your spouse. Let one of you do every step in a night, to stay consistent. Only swap if your nerves get frayed. Let the other parent start the next night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a few related questions. Nevermind the actual question headlines but look through them and pick the bits that might work for you. Some might address infants, but the tricks work just as well for toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/127/how-can-i-get-my-12-month-baby-to-sleep-in-her-bed&quot;&gt;How can I get my 12-month baby to sleep in her bed?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3827/are-there-techniques-for-sleep-training-that-actually-teach-a-child-how-to-sleep&quot;&gt;Are there techniques for sleep training that actually teach a child how to sleep?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/207/how-to-calm-a-toddler-before-bedtime&quot;&gt;How to calm a toddler before bedtime?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3827/are-there-techniques-for-sleep-training-that-actually-teach-a-child-how-to-sleep&quot;&gt;Are there techniques for sleep training that actually teach a child how to sleep?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/468/what-are-some-dos-and-donts-for-an-effective-bedtime-ritual&quot;&gt;What are some do&amp;#39;s and dont&amp;#39;s for an effective bedtime ritual?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7/how-do-i-get-my-6-month-old-to-sleep-better-at-night&quot;&gt;How do I get my 6-month-old to sleep better at night?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3578/how-do-we-get-an-eight-month-old-back-to-sleeping-in-his-crib&quot;&gt;How do we get an eight month old back to sleeping in his crib?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to remain calm, and be consistent. Don't give up, and don't give in. This will show him that you are confident and in charge. He is not in control of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T13:42:20.623" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4584" CreationDate="2012-03-20T13:57:21.827" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crying didn't manage to kill either of my kids, especially before bedtime, so I've learned to shrug it off. My SO thinks it's odd, but I point out that when the girl cries before bed, she's usually asleep much faster. While I punish tantrums otherwise, I find before bed, a tantrum just wears a kid out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son had more lasting power than my daughter, so I bought some headphones for the nights where it was that, or lose my cool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter tried the potty thing. I happily got her up and put her back in a diaper, then put her back to bed. She was so mortified, she never pulled that again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both kids have learned (at 4 and 10), that past 8:30, the only interaction they're going to get from me is if they're throwing up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1454" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T13:57:21.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4584" CreationDate="2012-03-20T14:35:14.113" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure it applies since your son stays in bed, but our solution in this case was to keep taking away options.  The toys left his room after the first all-nighter.  All available flat surfaces were covered in the first week (he liked to climb up on tables and demand a diaper change).  His door knob was covered so he couldn't open it during the second week.  Stuffed animal X taken away, Toy Y taken away, etc.  He either wore down or we found the magic combination eventually.  We had a couple bad parenting patches in this because it turned out he had a bad ear infection when we thought he was just being exceedingly difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your son, my suggestion would be to start bedtime a little bit earlier if possible and take away his delaying options before bed.  &quot;Would you like a drink of water?  Do you need to go potty? Etc&quot;  After lights are out, stand firm, at least for that hour.  My son will occasionally convince me to sing him a lullaby if I go in there after some time and he's still awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the noises you make, I would suggest avoiding changes to your routine.  White noise helps to some extent, but you can't tiptoe around forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing a friend of mine tried that worked for her was rewarding proper sleep with a big production in the morning and a treat at breakfast.  Her daughter got strawberries in her cereal.  Feeding my son is already a hassle, so it didn't make a difference for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T14:35:14.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4583" CreationDate="2012-03-20T18:25:35.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Studies have apparently shown that many learning problems are symptoms of underlying vision problems. If you haven't had her vision tested, it's at least worth a try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also found a symptoms checklist that might be worth looking at:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childrensvision.com/symptoms.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.childrensvision.com/symptoms.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2385" LastActivityDate="2012-03-20T18:25:35.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4611" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4615" CreationDate="2012-03-21T01:37:59.820" Score="9" ViewCount="429" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son Thomas was born about 6 months ago.  Now, we're feeling like he doesn't really look right for his name, and we're thinking of getting it officially changed to Charles instead.  We're also not sure we like that Thomas means &quot;twin&quot;, as he isn't a twin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what do you think?  Should we change his name, or is it too late for that?  And please, let us know why you answer the way you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2409" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T21:11:02.717" Title="Changing a child's name" Tags="|names|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4612" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4618" CreationDate="2012-03-21T04:21:46.427" Score="6" ViewCount="361" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 15 month old has yet to speak any words. He seems to hear well enough, and will, when it suits him, listen to us when we ask things of him (&quot;go get your ball!&quot;, etc). He's engaged with the world around him, and is pretty good at expressing his needs by positioning himself near what he wants and jumping and whining. But, the only vocalizations he has are various kinds of grunts and squeals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be a parent's bias, but I'm convinced that he'll do fine once he starts trying. How can we encourage him to do so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things we've tried to little effect so far:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Singing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pointing at things and saying what they are&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keeping a running commentary going of what we're up to&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2410" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T03:51:06.750" Title="How do I encourage my toddler to work on his spoken language?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|learning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4613" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-21T06:21:43.283" Score="0" ViewCount="268" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1412/what-constitutes-verbal-abuse-of-ones-child&quot;&gt;What constitutes verbal abuse of one&amp;#39;s child?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am worried that my constant reminders and punishments are being taken as bullying. &#xA;I might be over reacting but then again, I might not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine a youth reacts to bullying differently when its from an elder. Is there any research or experience on this matter? The last thing I want to do is mentally abuse a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1973" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-04-08T21:47:10.687" Title="How can I tell if my suggestions have become a form of bullying" Tags="|discipline|maturity|bullying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2012-03-21T13:55:38.233" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4611" CreationDate="2012-03-21T07:48:59.923" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you leave the name as is. Its just a temporary feeling that name doesn't suit him. Let the feeling pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1991" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T07:48:59.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4611" CreationDate="2012-03-21T08:14:15.900" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sure that lots of people are called Thomas without being a twin, and they're fine with that. No &lt;em&gt;Thomas&lt;/em&gt; I know is a twin&lt;sup&gt;1)&lt;/sup&gt;. On the other hand, I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; a twin, and neither I nor my brother are named Thomas. Is this meaning the primary reason for your naming concern? To answer your question, what do I think you should do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Either change his name early, or stick with it. Let your &lt;em&gt;gut feeling&lt;/em&gt; decide.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has already heard you say his name a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; by now. The longer you wait, the more you'll confuse him if you do change his name. I think that his name will grow on you though, unless the name is already giving you goosebumps and making you uncomfortable - that's what I mean by &quot;gut feeling&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider that &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; you change his name, you might have second thoughts about the new name, too. Make sure you're quite certain before you change it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) &lt;em&gt;By the way: what would the other twin be named? They wouldn't have the same name.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T08:14:15.900" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4612" CreationDate="2012-03-21T12:30:20.173" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am worried about your phrase, 'seems to hear well'.   If you are concerned have his hearing tested.  You did not mention that he responds to you appropriately when you speak to him, things like 'no no no', or 'get a book'.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The only think you can really do is speak to him.  I think he is still a bit young to force him to use words when trying to convey what he is feeling, but you can let him hear what words he should be using, for example when he goes for a toy he wants but can't reach and indicates he wants it, say, for example, 'train please' before giving it to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T12:30:20.173" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4613" CreationDate="2012-03-21T12:31:58.300" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion (and I work in a school) bullying is the 'go to' word today.  Any thing and Every thing is considered bullying.  Disciplining your child and correcting the behavior is not bullying.  How to discipline appropriately is probably a separate question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T12:31:58.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4612" CreationDate="2012-03-21T12:51:10.383" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're doing all the right things.  Just keep it up!  Every child starts talking at their own pace.  15 months without any words is a bit behind the milestone (2-3 words by 1 year is the normal milestone), but missing a milestone is absolutely no cause for worry.  It is only when you see a pattern of missing multiple milestones that you should really start to be concerned.  Your pediatrician should be asking about language development at well-baby visits, and will let you know if there is reason to be concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the most important thing is to talk to him as much as possible.  Continue with the running commentary of what you're doing.  Supplement it with asking him questions, even if he doesn't answer.  The more you talk to him, and in front of him, the more he'll pick up, even if he's just passively learning it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of pointing at things and saying what they are, try pointing to them, and asking your son what they are: &quot;What's that?  Is that a cow?  Can you say cow?&quot;  However, don't pressure him.  Make it fun.  The more it seems like a game to him, the more likely he will be to participate.  Smiling while asking the question is just as important as your tone of voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing to do is read &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt;.  I am now convinced that you can't read to a child &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3979/can-a-toddler-spend-too-much-time-with-books&quot;&gt;too often&lt;/a&gt;.  If your son enjoys sitting with you and looking at the books, even if he isn't pointing and identifying pictures, it is building his vocabulary for when he is ready to talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T12:51:10.383" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4611" CreationDate="2012-03-21T14:26:11.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't call Tom or Chuck names that fall out of the ordinary. In fact, they are rather common names. You are the parent and need to listen to your heart/gut, but I'd suggest from a legal standpoint, leave it Tom, and then over time you'll give him whichever nickname works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, I work with a Jim that everyone calls Chris.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only real problem is corporate email. It will always use his legal name. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T14:26:11.637" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4611" CreationDate="2012-03-21T15:09:11.400" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Because my grandpa and my dad have the same first name as me, I was raised going by my middle name. I was around eight or nine years old before I learned that the name I was going by wasn't my given first name.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went all of the way through school using my middle name as my first name and only started going by my first name in a professional setting five or so years ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still go by my middle name with my close friends and even my spouse.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This hasn't had a negative impact on me, as I know both names are mine. &lt;strong&gt;If you do change his name from Thomas to Charles, I suggest you make Thomas his middle name so that he can keep ownership of the name you've been calling him.&lt;/strong&gt;  If he already has a middle name there's nothing wrong with adding Thomas as a second middle name.  J. R. R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien), George H. W. Bush (George Herbert Walker Bush) and many other famous and important people have had multiple middle names.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1573" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T15:09:11.400" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4621" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-21T19:18:03.460" Score="2" ViewCount="4205" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is a good idea for a baby gift for someone who has just had their third boy? They do not want to see one more blue stretchie :) - or even any piece of boy's clothing. They have toys and books, hooded towels and snowsuits, a high chair and mobile and bouncer etc. Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-08T15:10:59.210" LastActivityDate="2018-11-08T15:10:59.210" Title="Baby gift suggestion for third boy?" Tags="|newborn|presents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2013-10-15T14:32:34.320" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4621" CreationDate="2012-03-21T19:37:31.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found a few things useful for new parents with multiple kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a gift certificate to macy's or lord and taylor or something so the mom can get herself something&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a picture frame with the same number of spots as there are kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="1889" LastEditDate="2012-03-29T16:52:20.727" LastActivityDate="2012-03-29T16:52:20.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4600" CreationDate="2012-03-21T19:41:51.513" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been there before. My son was over a year old before he started sleeping through the night. Here are my suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put him to bed earlier - like 7pm. It sounds counterintuitive, but sleep quality goes down when you're overtired, leaving you prone to waking more (and the same is true for children). As the saying goes &quot;sleep begets sleep.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Do not&lt;/em&gt; stop his nap if he's down to one. If he's still at two, try consolidating. Children his age still need a mid-day nap, and the nap should be at least an hour (some children can do well on 45 minutes, but generally speaking, an hour is needed to get a ful cycle). Again, sleep begets sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure he's eating enough. It's hard to sleep when you're hungry. We generally give our son a granola bar shortly before bed, and of course, make sure he's eating enough throughout the day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep a cup of water in his room. I know the air in my house tends to be dry, so our son has a sippy cup with water in it for when he's thirsty. He gets up, drinks some, and goes back to bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure his room is comfortable. If he uses a blanket, make sure his pajamas aren't too warm. If his room has a ceiling fan, turn it on to keep the air circulating. If the air is too dry, put in a humidifier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get him a new mattress. This one will depend entirely on your child, and of course make sure to still keep the sleep environment safe, but I found that my son slept a lot better when we switched him to a twin mattress (his bed is now just a mattress on the floor) from his old infant/toddler mattress. He simply couldn't sleep on a mattress as firm as the infant mattress. Switching to a softer mattress worked wonders for us.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Follow his circadian rhythm. We all have our own sleep schedules, but they generally follow a particular pattern. For young children, it's easiest to start with &quot;the 5 hour rule.&quot; That is, awake for 5 hours, then sleep. So, if your son gets up at 7am, put him down for a nap at noon. Assuming he takes a 2 hour nap, then put him to bed at 7pm. The key is to find his natural patterns and make a schedule out of it, putting him to bed during those key &quot;windows&quot; when getting him to sleep and keeping him that way will be easiest. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick a &quot;sleep training&quot; method and stick to it. It doesn't have to be exactly the &quot;leave them and don't return until morning&quot; or the &quot;Ferber method&quot;, just as long as you're consistent about it. We're at the point now that, for the most part, we can lay him down and walk out of the room. For the nights that aren't that easy, we make sure his needs are taken care of (food, water, dry diaper, etc), and if he's doing it just to be stubborn/defiant, we let him have his tantrum. When it sounds like he's starting to settle down, we go in and lay him back down and tuck him in. One of the first things I did, too, was sit by his bed and not allow him to climb out (I don't like locking a small child in their room if I don't have to). For my son, at least, it sends the same message - it's time for bed, and no amount of fighting is going to change that, but does so without locking him in his room alone (which, I think, helps convey that I'm not abandoning or neglecting him, but that &lt;em&gt;I'm&lt;/em&gt; enforcing a rule). It took a good half hour, but I only needed to do it once to get him to stop fighting bedtime all of the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage him to choose to go to bed. Bed time shouldn't be a negative thing, if you can help it. Make sure he knows that it's okay to ask to go to bed early. For our son, it helps to make him feel like a &quot;big boy&quot; if he does such things, and explain things like &quot;big boys know when they need to go to bed early&quot; (telling him about what big boys do is a great motivator for our son).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a pre-bedtime routine. It doesn't have to be elaborate, just consistent. For us, it's my husband starting a sort of &quot;countdown,&quot; starting about 6:30. He'll tell our son things like, &quot;it's almost time for bed,&quot; and &quot;you have 5 minutes left before bed.&quot; If our son hasn't had a snack recently, then we'll get out a granola bar or some yogurt and give it to him. After he's done, hubby has him say good night to me and walks him back to his room, where he changes him and puts him to bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you have music or white noise of some sort playing in his room? If not, that might be worth trying. If his life is busy and noisy during the day, it might be too quite for him to be comfortable. Some soft music or some other white noise might help (conversely, if you do have music going, it might be the cause, so it might be worth tring a few nights without).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have his two-year molars come in yet? If not, that might be one of the things waking him and keeping him awake. It might not seem like it during the day, but he's likely too distracted to notice or care about the pain, but once night comes and the distractions are gone, there's nothing left but that pain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to his pediatrician. You mention that he wakes distressed. It's possible that he's having night terrors, or may be waking up, disoriented, from a sleepwalking episode. While some of both are fairly common at his age, the frequency may be a sign of an underlying medical condition. Your child's doctor would be able to help you determine if this is the case and refer you to a pediatric sleep specialist if necessary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to also teach him sign language, especially if he's not actually talking, or his vocabulary is still limited. Being pre-verbal is particularly frustrating, because toddlers are really smart, but they can't communicate things in a way people understand. Knowing some signs can make life a lot easier on both of you, because then he can communicate what he needs/wants during the night wakings (and no, it won't hinder his verbal skills).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T19:41:51.513" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4611" CreationDate="2012-03-21T21:11:02.717" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I highly suggest you have a plan to explain your decision to him as he grows older.  It's surprising how issues like this can affect people later in life.  I grew up being called by my middle name except inside school.  The only benefit was that when my friends called me I could tell if they were in school friends or out of school friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that it has been pretty painless except for my first day of kindergarten when our teacher asked us to find the seat with our name on it and I was left standing wondering &quot;who the hell is Robert&quot;.  I remember it like it was yesterday, but can't seem to recall so many other significant moments in my life as well.  All in the name of a name I suppose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is have a plan to explain it to the person or maybe don't say anything at all.  The part that strikes me as funny is that when I think of a Thomas and/or Charles I kinda envision the same looking person so I wonder what a Thomas or Charles looks like?  Guess is you probably already know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2411" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T21:11:02.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4621" CreationDate="2012-03-21T23:56:27.947" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it were me receiving the gift, I would find a gift card to WalMart or a grocery store or some place equally ubiquitous the most useful gift.  We received several gift cards to Target when my daughter was born and they were so nice to have on hand when I turned out to need lots more newborn clothes than I expected or for diapers or for whatever.  Even if they cloth diaper, they'll need detergent and other general essentials that you just run out of periodically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-21T23:56:27.947" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4627" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-22T15:24:54.680" Score="6" ViewCount="1081" Body="&lt;p&gt;My second grader has been having trouble sleeping due to her anxiety.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been doing guided meditation/relaxation with her at night but this is not my forte and am looking for suggestions, such as trying music or other forms of assistance.  How can I help teach my daughter some meditation techniques?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-03-23T17:13:41.353" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T08:32:26.667" Title="Guided Meditation for Children" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4621" CreationDate="2012-03-22T15:36:40.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I didn't want anyone to give us clothes, books or any furniture (crib/mattress/bouncer/high chair) for our second baby girl either. However, the things that we did go and purchase:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Diapers&lt;/strong&gt;. They are still going to need diapers for the child. If they are using cloth diapers, you can buy some cloth diaper detergent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Food&lt;/strong&gt;. Formula if they use it. Otherwise, few items of baby food would do good. If they usually puree their own food, go for something like rice cereals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teething toys&lt;/strong&gt; are generally appreciated as they see a lot of use.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Baby plates, spoons, and forks&lt;/strong&gt; are generally misplaced or lost, so you might consider those.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Snack cups and water cups&lt;/strong&gt; for the child to take in the car (when he is older) might be necessary, depending on the ages of the other children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The new little one might also need its own pacifier and soft blanket. If your friends didn't get a &lt;strong&gt;baby carrier&lt;/strong&gt; earlier, they might try one now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider: baby sitting or a dinner and movie gift certificate would be great presents for parents of three children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-03-22T15:36:40.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4621" CreationDate="2012-03-22T15:47:51.457" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A gift certificate to a spa. With three boys, mom'll probably need it. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More seriously, though, unless it's consumables (diapers, detergents, etc) or gift cards/certificates to buy what they need, the family probably has everything they need from the first two (assuming the third was planned, or close enough to 2 that they didn't get rid of everything), so get creative and/or buy for the parents instead of the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A gift certificate to a spa or a bed and breakfast, then, would probably be a welcome gift, especially if it also comes with a babysitting offer. &quot;Gift certificates&quot; for things like babysitting, house cleaning, or whatever else you can do to help the family would probably be welcome, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're the crafty sort, a homemade quilt or knitted/crocheted blanket may also make a nice gift (just make sure they know you expect them to &lt;em&gt;use&lt;/em&gt; it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're still set on getting a gift specifically for the baby, go with stuff that would be his alone, and unlikely to have something like it passed down from his brothers for sentimental reasons, such as a blankie or &quot;lovey&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-03-22T15:47:51.457" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1897" CreationDate="2012-03-22T17:13:54.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was teaching high school, the ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher used my classroom during my planning period.  Several of her students learned to speak English by listening to American music (for one Russian student, this was specifically rap music which I would not recommend since the first words he learned to use well were curse words, but by the time he graduated he had a strong grasp of English).  Watching movies also helped many of her students learn English (I think one student watched lots of Disney movies).  It also helped that they were essentially immersed in English between the hours of 8:00 am and 3:00 pm, so the more she can be encouraged to &lt;em&gt;use&lt;/em&gt; the language, the more comfortable she'll be with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-22T17:13:54.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4633" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-23T00:30:04.787" Score="2" ViewCount="13997" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 8 month old is having a bout of really nasty heartburn after getting over norovirus. Our doctor has looked at him and determined he's suffering from normal gastritis and prescribed zantec. Unfortunately Zantec takes 1-2 days to take effect and so he is still suffering from the pangs of heartburn. I can sympathize with him because his symptoms are identical to what I suffer when I have severe heartburn -- painful heartburn 1/2 hour after eating that prevents you from sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We should have asked our doctor this, I know, but &lt;strong&gt;I'm curious if there's more immediate sources of heartburn relief from OTC drugs/home remedies for a baby&lt;/strong&gt;. If my baby was an adult or older I might give him Tums/Rolaids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pepto-bismol.com/pepto-bismol-faq.php#faq9&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pepto Bismol is out&lt;/a&gt; due to concerns over Reye's syndrome. Rolaids/Tums obviously seem out due to choking concerns unless I can crush them somehow. Water sometimes works for me personally, but can be a double edged sword--it lowers the pH of one's stomach, but it can also introduce extra liquid volume causing the contents to continue to slosh up one's esophagus, causing more pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="162" LastActivityDate="2016-04-17T00:53:47.917" Title="Immediate reflux/heartburn relief for a baby (8 months old)" Tags="|infant|health|reflux|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4633" CreationDate="2012-03-23T02:34:48.017" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you thought about trying gripe water?  It's available at any big box retailer (WalMart, Target, grocery stores).  We used it with some success with our daughter who had reflux.  The brand we used contained ginger, fennel, and bicarbonate--and the bicarbonate might be the most useful in helping settle down the reflux.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The jury is still out as to whether Gripe water is really that effective, but it seemed to help Charlotte's somewhat and it might settle him down enough to at least make him comfortable so he can get some sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, try keeping him elevated for awhile after feeding (30 minutes-1 hour) which I know is hard sometimes, and if you can elevate the head of his mattress a little that might help, too (we stuck a small pillow under Charlotte's mattress).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-23T02:34:48.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4633" CreationDate="2012-03-23T05:05:24.053" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an alternative to gripe water, my grandmother used ginger tea, flat ginger ale, and camomile tea on us (not all at once!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2012-03-23T05:05:24.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4636" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4637" CreationDate="2012-03-23T05:44:53.380" Score="9" ViewCount="11098" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter just turned two, and over the last two years, I've learned a lot. Most parenting skills were easy to learn, but I never figured out burping when she was in the infant stage. In retrospect, I think if I had tried to burp her more often, she would have been more happy (with less crying). For future reference, when do you need to start burping, and when can you stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2385" LastActivityDate="2015-05-26T15:03:55.460" Title="How do you know when a baby needs to be burped?" Tags="|infant|newborn|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4636" CreationDate="2012-03-23T07:17:46.913" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my sons needed to be fed by bottle early on (my wife didn't produce enough to breast-feed). What we experienced was that if we didn't take a pause to burp in the middle of the meal, he would more likely gulp up when finished. So for us it was basically twice for each meal (one in the middle of the meal, and one after finished). It was not always easy to &quot;produce&quot; a burp, but it was worth it. We often saw that when we couldn't get a burp for some reason, it was likely that he would get some stomache ake later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastActivityDate="2012-03-23T07:17:46.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4636" CreationDate="2012-03-23T13:34:01.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ours were breast-fed, but I got to feed them a bottle as the last feed before night-time sleep. They all needed a burp after that bottle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally they got the whole thing down before needing a burp, however occasionally they would slow right down before finishing, and invariably a burp was all that was needed before finishing off the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-03-23T13:34:01.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4639" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4640" CreationDate="2012-03-23T15:52:31.547" Score="10" ViewCount="5975" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a car seat that was loaned to a family member and returned with the internal styrofoam structure (under the fabric) broken on one side (see picture)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/pT18F.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the seat safe to use or do I need to get a new one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2418" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-03-23T16:23:56.203" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T17:14:07.897" Title="Is a car seat safe to use if the internal styrofoam is broken" Tags="|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4639" CreationDate="2012-03-23T16:06:20.143" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;No. I would not risk it.  Usually the manual will say not to use the unit if it's damaged, or even to use it if it's older than a few years.  Parts may look just little bit damaged, but that little bit can cause a failure during an accident that will leave your little one hurt.  Of course, like everything else, there's a tradeoff between cost (in this case free) and safety, but I personally would never use a damaged safety seat.  Save money elsewhere, like by buying less plastic toys they get tired of after a day. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2419" LastActivityDate="2012-03-23T16:06:20.143" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4641" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-23T18:07:11.707" Score="3" ViewCount="132" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2707/does-it-hurt-my-baby-developmentally-if-she-watches-while-im-on-the-computer&quot;&gt;Does it hurt my baby (developmentally) if she watches while I&amp;#39;m on the computer?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I need to work while I'm caring for the baby. Sometimes she'll be content in a play chair with toys, sometimes on a blanket with toys, but sometimes she just needs to be held.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would either hold her with one arm in my lap while I work (very slowly :) ) on the computer. Or I would put her in a sling (two free hands!) and I would work on the computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it harmful if she watches me work...mostly typing/coding/photoshop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3769/1922&quot;&gt;this question about TV&lt;/a&gt;, but this seems a little different. According to &lt;em&gt;Brain Rules For Baby: How to raise a smart and happy child from Zero to Five&lt;/em&gt; TV for kids under the age of 2 can decrease attention span and lead to trouble focusing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can potentially see this because of the way that content on TV is edited and paced. Lots of information thrown at you really quickly. This can lead to trouble focusing...especially when a developing baby's brain is probably not able to handle that amount of information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The author John Medina also writes and cites a study... &quot;For each hour of TV watched daily by children under age 4, the risk increased 9 percent that they would engage in bullying behavior by the time they started school. This is poor emotional regulation at work.&quot; Of course I'm taking this with a grain of salt, but it's food for thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my computer. The screen is mostly static except for the moving cursor of a text editor or me meticulously manipulating an image.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My gut feel is that it probably is not harmful. I'm having a hard time finding studies. Most things I find are about kids using the computer...and these are older kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-17T18:38:05.217" LastActivityDate="2020-08-17T18:38:05.217" Title="Sitting with my 5 month old as I work on the computer...harmful for my baby?" Tags="|development|cognitive-development|computer|screen-time|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2012-03-23T18:36:41.260" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4636" CreationDate="2012-03-23T19:24:58.793" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my son, we burped once in the middle and once at the end of the bottle and, with the exception of maybe once or twice, that was generally plenty.  By the time he was 7 months old, though, we could back it down to once at the end of the feeding unless he slowed down and seemed to indicate that he needed to burp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my daughter, who had reflux, it could sometimes be as often as at the end of every ounce if her reflux was especially active that day.  She is an exception, however, not the rule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-23T19:24:58.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4575" CreationDate="2012-03-23T20:03:55.013" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just started reading the book &quot;Baby Signs.&quot;  Apparently, much of &quot;terrible twos&quot; (actually starting closer to 12 months and lasting to age three, supposedly) has to do with the inability of the little one to express his or her needs.  If you can teach them (and yourself) basic sign language, which they're able to perform months or years before their ability to speak is there, you can alleviate much of the distress of this time period, supposedly.  It's based on research and reviews and seems fairly solid and quite doable.  We have friends that taught their kid (now 5) to sign and raved about it.  We're definitely going to try it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2419" LastActivityDate="2012-03-23T20:03:55.013" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4627" CreationDate="2012-03-23T20:49:02.653" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So I went and did some looking around online and was somewhat surprised at how many legitimate links turned up when I Googled &quot;guided meditation, children&quot;.  Some of it might need to be modified somewhat to work for your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Guided Meditation for Primary &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/med-guided2.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Students&lt;/a&gt;. This one seems like it's specifically focused on using guided meditation in the classroom, but if some of her anxiety is coming from school, then these might be helpful for her if she starts feeling anxious while she's at school and you're not there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relaxation &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.innerhealthstudio.com/relaxation-scripts-for-children.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Scripts&lt;/a&gt; for Children&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And another &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidsmeditationcds.net/freeguidedmeditation.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;script&lt;/a&gt; CDs and Mp3s are also offered here for kid's meditation and relaxation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-12-11T08:32:26.667" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T08:32:26.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4575" CreationDate="2012-03-24T13:29:18.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a relatively laid back approach supported by consistency and a no-nonsense attitude, so we had very few problems at that age. When the kids attempted a tantrum we immediately put them in a time out and made it very obvious to them that their siblings were having much more fun than them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While they do get frustrated with their inability to communicate, they learn very quickly - as long as you are consistent. Give in to a tantrum once and you will have trouble for ages trying to get them to relearn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we just talked rationally with them and explained good and naughty behaviour, and ensured we always did what we said we would do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-03-24T13:29:18.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4646" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4647" CreationDate="2012-03-24T22:40:42.810" Score="21" ViewCount="3234" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a three year old toddler, and he has just seemed to realize that timeouts are nothing more than him sitting in a corner for a few minutes.  He has recently started doing a whole suite of bad actions (throwing things at people, hitting people, etc), and when caught, gets an impish grin because he believes that all that will happen to him is a timeout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I make these things stick?  Or, if there is a point where they don't, what's the escalation move?  I'd rather not go towards spanking (pretty sure that will just let him think that hitting people is ok rather than a bad thing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; Thanks for all the replies.  I can see responses vary wildly depending on parenting style, so we'll be looking into these things.  I can't give a check until I see which one works for my son, and even then, it'll just be for my son and another child may respond differently.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT 2:&lt;/strong&gt; We've tried a number of things from these suggestions, but so far, the idea with the most effect appears to be a) find a particular, specific spot for timeouts (in this case, standing on a subwoofer facing the corner) and b) fighting the battles to stay in timeout until he stays in timeout.  He still does naughty things, mostly in an effort to get our attention when we're really too exhausted to play with him at the end of the day, but he understands that he will get the timeout and he doesn't fight it.  Instead, he seems to be getting the 'mommy and daddy are worn out, I'll just color by myself' idea pretty nicely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried the charts with stickers idea, but that didn't work as we found ourselves not being consistent.  Without our own consistency, he just ignored the chart too.  We found that to be the case with most ideas, that our own inconsistencies leads to an idea not working.  It's only by paying attention to everything that we noticed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks to everyone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2014-01-10T01:01:06.623" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T05:07:45.317" Title="What do we do when timeouts are not effective?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|time-out|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2012-03-25T00:24:58.360" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what you do, specifically for his timeouts (does he sit in a chair in the corner? Does he stand, facing the corner? Does he just sit on the couch or a chair somewhere?), but what I found works for my son is sit him on a stool in the middle of the room and ignore him for a few minutes. The stool is too high for him to try to get down, and he still has to watch everyone do things without him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option could be sending him to his room for a while. This of course, only works if he has no form of entertainment in his room, but the complete isolation could be unpleasant enough for him to think twice about misbehaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I also often do when my son is misbehaving (especially when doing something like hitting or something else to another person) is to sit him down on the floor (usually when my son does it, he's on the couch) with a firm &quot;no.&quot; It startles him enough that he gets the picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doug makes another good suggestion - taking something away. If simply taking something away doesn't work, it may also work to put it somewhere that he can see it, but can't reach it, which eliminates the &quot;out of sight, out of mind,&quot; case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to find something that he finds unpleasant and make him learn that that unpleasant thing will keep happening if he behaves in a way you don't approve. It may require getting creative, so take a look at the things he &lt;em&gt;likes&lt;/em&gt; to do or use and take that away from him. It may take some observation time, but will be something that only you can come up with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T00:24:58.360" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2012-03-25T04:46:09.767" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You try other things. You escalate. You do not allow him to win. If you do not teach your child to respect authority he will have exceptionally difficult teen and adult years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** Take things away.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;** Lock him in a room.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;** Corporal punishment, if you are so inclined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommended &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentbooksummaries.com/the-new-strong-willed-child/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Strong Willed Child&lt;/a&gt; by Dobson in another &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4597/1004&quot;&gt;answer&lt;/a&gt;. I recommend it here as well ... it changed the way my wife and I parented.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T04:46:09.767" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4633" CreationDate="2012-03-25T05:21:18.177" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childrenshealthpartners.com/illness_info/gastro-esophageal-reflux-gerd-in-infants.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Maalox liquid&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, have you tried changing the formula you use?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, have you tried burping the child in the middle of the feeding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T05:21:18.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4070" CreationDate="2012-03-25T06:08:14.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have noted, this has little to do with homeopathy and everything to do with how you and your wife relate and resolve differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1/ You give her position no credence. This is not effective. You are effectively mocking your wife, and your position is full of hubris. MEDICAL DOCTORS, who went to medical school, recommend giving homeopathy a try. In the USA, morons are not admitted to medical school. Do Austrian medical schools admin morons? I doubt it. So at the very least, you must concede that there are smart folks who give it credence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2/ Does it work with your son?  If it does, who really cares if science says it shouldn't. If it doesn't, oh well, since the homeopathic remedies are scientifically inert.  This is a bad thing to have serious conflict with your wife about since it is essentially without risk.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3/ The &quot;can't tell the difference&quot; and &quot;it is like candy&quot; arguments are straw men. Treat the homeopathic products as medicine from the point of view of limiting access and managing dosage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4/ &lt;a href=&quot;http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/10/15/what-killed-steve-jobs/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pancreatic cancer killed Steve Jobs&lt;/a&gt;. He delayed a surgery to try some alternative (non-homeopathic) treatments, but the consensus is that the impact of that was small.  Another straw man ... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5/  Many of the same arguments you make were made about chiropractic treatment, yet no one disputes that, for reasons not always understood, chiropractic treatment can be effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your wife, and listen to her. Treat her position with respect, even though you don't agree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T06:08:14.313" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4627" CreationDate="2012-03-25T06:14:45.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Read aloud to her.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your voice will calm her and take her mind off of her troubles. You will reinforce that it is time for calm and quiet, and the routine will be reassuring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.trelease-on-reading.com/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this site&lt;/a&gt; for reading aloud resources, including age-appropriate reading lists and anthologies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T06:14:45.240" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4656" CreationDate="2012-03-25T11:40:23.570" Score="2" ViewCount="70397" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently my 3 year old daughter is waking up with crust on the inside of her eyes and a little on her lashes as well.  This isn't pink eye (as she has had that already and her eyes are not pink at all now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could this be food related or seasonal allergies.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.com/how_4531616_clean-toddler_s-eyes.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;I see this article&lt;/a&gt; which makes me think its possibly common.  Any suggestion on why my daughter might wake up.  Its been happening for a few days now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastEditorUserId="408" LastEditDate="2012-03-25T11:56:32.537" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T11:51:55.663" Title="My toddler is waking up with crust on the inside of her eyes, should I be concerned?" Tags="|toddler|allergies|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4653" CreationDate="2012-03-25T12:24:54.930" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check with a pediatrician. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conjunctivitis (commonly known as pink eye) doesn't always show a pink color on the eyes, and the crusting is often associated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You shouldn't be making diagnosises at home or off the internet. Let the doctor decide. Some things you can put off bringing to a doctor (minor colds, etc), but possible eye infections are not something you should take chances with. It's better to be safe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T12:24:54.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4655" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1897" CreationDate="2012-03-25T14:12:11.563" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Language learners need:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• A reason for speaking (Friendship? Shared love of a hobby?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• A good role model (Live internet radio? Films?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• No apparent pressure (Intrinsic motivation)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, you could, for example encourage her to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• Join an online English forum for her hobby or passion, &lt;em&gt;and get her to take part in discussions relevant to her her interests&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• Help her find English language podcasts and YouTube videos &lt;em&gt;of interest to her, and perhaps to create similar 'answer videos' to help her practise talking and speaking&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• Find her a pen friend, &lt;em&gt;to increase her exposure to authentic English texts&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1158" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T14:12:11.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4653" CreationDate="2012-03-25T20:11:56.450" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in Southern California, we have &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Ana_winds&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Santa Ana Winds&lt;/a&gt;&quot; a few times a year. When the Santa Anas come, or in hay fever season, or during other allergy times, my daughter would get crusty eyes. When the allergies abated, so did the crusty eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, be aware, but it doesn't yet need to rise to concern. If she has a cold or allergies are acting up, this is most likely an additional symptom. Treat the symptoms and pay attention. If it gets worse, or the color of the discharge changes, or it doesn't go away in a couple of days, then go see the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clean the &quot;gunk&quot; away from her eyes with a warm wash cloth, gently wiping away and not circling or scrubbing. Don't reuse washcloths or towels. Repeat before and after naps and before bed. We found that setting the warm cloth on her eyes for 20 seconds or so loosened the crust and seemed to make  her eyes feel better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Frequently wash her bedding and blankets, and her pillow, and any bed/crib toys that come hear her face. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wash your hands before and after dressing they child or touching the child's face.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you think the underlying cause is allergy, then give her an anti-histamine such as Benadryl.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some additional notes:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pink eye &quot; is not like chicken pox .. it can recur. It is actually a symptom of something else, like a cold or allergy, in the eye's mucus membranes.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider a hypo-allergenic cover for the pillow. That made a real difference in my daughter's allergies.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2012-03-25T20:29:47.970" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T20:29:47.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4653" CreationDate="2012-03-25T22:11:04.013" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/commoninfections/a/pinkeye.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is a good link that talks about the symptoms and various causes of pink eye and the associated eye crusties.  Really, pink eye can be a symptom of many, many eye issues.  It can be caused by abrasions of the eye, infections, and allergies...not all of which require immediate medical intervention.  Bacterial conjunctivitis must absolutely be treated with antibiotic ointment or drops, viral conjunctivitis will, obviously, not respond to antibiotics.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my own personal experience with eye infections, true eye infections are really, really painful and cause a lot of light sensitivity.  I would think if your child had conjunctivitis, you would see a lot more symptoms than just eye crusties.  However, if you notice that she has more than just the eye crusties, they continue throughout the day, or there are other symptoms that she has then she should probably see a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might just be experiencing seasonal allergies (I know we've been slammed with pollen this past week here in the southeast), but what starts with just eye gunk can progress to full-blown sinus infection, so, if it were me, I'd keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't progress any farther.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T22:11:04.013" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4484" CreationDate="2012-03-25T22:53:29.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take a look at Daniel Levitin's book &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.amazon.com/dp/0525949690/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=2bittoysblog-20&amp;amp;camp=0&amp;amp;creative=0&amp;amp;linkCode=as4&amp;amp;creativeASIN=0525949690&amp;amp;adid=19Q16WG8BR662YKHNXP1&amp;amp;&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This is your Brain on Music&lt;/a&gt;.&#xA;It's a great read about how your brain processes and responds to music. There's a part of the brain that actually will activate and respond/mimics the dynamics of the music...If you were to graph the response, it would probably look like some of the music visualizations that you see out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also think that hearing real music from real people instead of stereo/TVs etc. will engage your child even more and perhaps help with development of the brain to handle music better.&#xA;This is me extending something that John Medina's writes about in &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.amazon.com/dp/0983263302/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=2bittoysblog-20&amp;amp;camp=0&amp;amp;creative=0&amp;amp;linkCode=as4&amp;amp;creativeASIN=0983263302&amp;amp;adid=1K878H6K98MPHPN5BVWW&amp;amp;&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five&lt;/a&gt;. In the book he says that having parents speak to kids has a stronger affect on children's linguistic abilities than from hearing it on the radio/TV, etc.  According to studies he cites, this also increases their IQs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The gold standard is 2100 words per hour. The variety of the words&#xA;  spoken (nouns, verbs, and adjectives used, along with the length and&#xA;  complexity of phrases and sentences) is nearly as important as the number of words &#xA;  spoken...Remember, it takes a real live person to benefit your baby's brain,&#xA;  so get ready to exercise your vocal cords. Not the portable DVD player's not&#xA;  your television's surround-sound but &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; vocal cords.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this is to say that I think by just exposing your baby to a variety of music often sung/played by real people will help stimulate the brain and help it create neural connections for dealing with music. I also think what Meg says above is important too...to associate physicality with rhythm, etc. I think that it will help the performance aspect of music later...perhaps helping to develop rhythm for playing instruments, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, your baby's brain is like a sponge and am constantly absorbing and organizing information/stimulus from the world around her. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's to a musical world in our babies' lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2012-03-25T22:53:29.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2012-03-26T00:58:38.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about making it official?  When the child is calm and you have some alone time, talk to him about this behavior and ask him what he thinks about it, and when you get to a point that he agrees that the action isn't a good choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that ask him to draw a chart where you track the &lt;strong&gt;opposite&lt;/strong&gt; behavior each day.  So you can write:&#xA;Not Throwing things at others: Monday : x,x,x Tuesday xxx&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day if he gets to 5, 10 stars he gets what he likes, activity or something else special.  I encourage my kids to do things properly by tracking it for a few weeks and they get the point.  Then I phase it out until it's needed again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1863" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T00:58:38.003" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2012-03-26T03:26:41.883" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Perhaps&lt;/em&gt; the grin means he is getting the attention that he was seeking. Throwing things at people or hitting people seems like he wants to be noticed. My 3.5 yo will act up if he feels left out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If&lt;/em&gt; this is the case, you have two options: head it off before he acts up or punish after he acts up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My very strong willed daughter (now 10) was more than happy to up the ante when it came to misbehaviour, so I'd say it is better to be attentive to him starting to act up and address his need for attention then. Perhaps by explaining that now it is Uncle Bob's time to talk or Sally's time to play with the whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will be times when punishment doesn't work, in which case losing a prized toy for a while can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T03:26:41.883" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2707" CreationDate="2012-03-26T03:30:28.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes&lt;/strong&gt;, it's not doing anything good for your baby to sit and wide-eyed stare at your computer screen.  Also you're not interacting at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No&lt;/strong&gt;, it's good for your baby to sit with you and be held!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soon enough the question will be moot anyway because your baby won't be content to just sit with you and will want to play, push the mouse, talk to you, etc so you'll only be trying to do it for short periods.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T03:30:28.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4558" CreationDate="2012-03-26T03:34:32.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a rule of thumb, if you are not absolutely sure you need it RIGHT AWAY then don't get it.  If you live in a place where you can get emergency (&quot;need it quick&quot;) things 24 hours a day and anything else the next day or within a few days then just wait.  You'll know what you need when you need it.  Having less stuff will make things easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T03:34:32.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4600" CreationDate="2012-03-26T03:46:30.047" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've put three-sided cribs next to our already huge bed to make it basically a wall-to-wall bed and have our toddler sleep on one side and the baby on the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic advantage of this setup is that toddler (3.5 years old) or baby (1.5) waking up in the middle of the night is (98% of the time) minimally disruptive on anyones sleep.  Sure we wake up a little bit, but nobody ever has to get out of bed or really get awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone is there and feeling safe.  When they wake up they're rarely entirely conscious before they hear we're there and doze back to sleep.  If they wake up entirely it's easy to see and explain that it's night and still time to sleep (and come cuddle/nurse depending on which one wakes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T03:46:30.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4612" CreationDate="2012-03-26T03:51:06.750" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's the rush?   If you are worried about toddler's hearing then get that checked out, but the speaking will come soon enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a friend who was almost 3 before he was really talking -- he communicated well much before that, but not with words.  His 2 years older brother would do the talking for him much of the time and I guess he just never felt like it.  When he did start talking it took no time at all for him to &quot;catch up&quot; to his peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby is about the same age as yours and while she can take and understand relatively complicated instructions she still shakes her head for &quot;yes&quot; most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's frustrating sometimes that she can't/won't talk so she can tell us what she wants, but it'll come soon enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T03:51:06.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4589" CreationDate="2012-03-26T03:59:19.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our younger daughter was never very good at sleeping in her crib (for naps during the day) so we just gave up and had her sleep in the bed for naps too.  I don't remember when it was, but she was pretty small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, if the bed is big enough that you're reasonably safe that she won't roll out then that might be an idea.  It should be much easier to get her to fall asleep if you don't have to fuss with getting her into the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T03:59:19.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2012-03-26T04:22:32.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are right that hitting him will just teach him that's a reasonable way to resolve conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids basically want to please and work with us (the parents/caretakers) -- it just gets expressed in, uh, less than optimal ways sometimes. This means that you can work with him; he wants to! It's just that he's 3 and haven't learned how to yet; that's your job and responsibility. :-)  I very much liked the book &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1452538905&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Your competent child&lt;/a&gt;&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our 3.5 year old we do use a combination of timeouts (go sit on the couch, stand in the bedroom, I don't want to play with you) for particularly bad things, but often it's just explaining that it makes us sad or upset and don't want to play if you throw things/push your sister/take the toy after I told you not to/whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep it simple, but still explain that you don't want X and it makes you upset/unable to play/ -- don't just yell &quot;don't throw the legos!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also look at if there are other things you can do differently (does he watch TV?  What games does he play?  How is his routine?  Does he need more/different attention/activities/direction? etc etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T04:22:32.143" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1897" CreationDate="2012-03-26T06:24:58.030" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;And here are four more tried and tested methods that anyone learning any language can use: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Change the default language on her mobile phone/cellphone/Handy to English - every time its used she'll be confronted by English!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Change the default language on her Computer OS/Login account to English &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Change her profile on Facebook (operating language - see bottom of screen on FB) to English&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage her to 'play teacher' - if she's learnt something new in class, how is it going to be asked in a test? Can she explain the rule of grammar in English? Can she translate and explain the vocal from and to her native language? Can she see connections between the lessons from 2 weeks and ago and the stuff she larnt this week?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Added as a new answer as too long for a comment…)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1158" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T06:24:58.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4636" CreationDate="2012-03-26T08:24:27.717" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience is that if my wife breastfeeds, my daughter has very little gas. She may need to be burped when switching sides.&#xA;The bottle gives my daughter more gas. I burp her a few times every feeding. If she gets squirmy, that's her telling me that something is uncomfortable. But each child may exhibit different signs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T08:24:27.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2012-03-26T13:11:02.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had kids that respond to time out and kids that don't.  For me it depends on the behaviour, but in general what happens to him at the end of time out?  Forcing him to say I am sorry for... makes him own the behavior and he may not come out of time out (after the 1 min. for each year of age) until he is ready to say it.  I had one daughter stay in time out for 45 min. because she refused to apologize.  But... if time out still doesn't work, my other suggestion comes from the book Love and Logic.&#xA;Depending on the behavior give a punishment that fits the crime.&#xA;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter argued with me and therefore made me too tired to vacum the floor so she had to do it while I rested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter hit her brother so she then needs to make it up to him by doing one of his chores.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter jumps on the couch she must then clean the couch to fix what she did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter refused to do a requested action she much do the action, apologize, and do something else she doesn't like to do to demonstrate that she knows how to listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T13:11:02.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3409" CreationDate="2012-03-26T20:29:24.327" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that taking the toddler to the pool where he can swim with adult supervision will help him learn about the water. I don't think this will make him less likely to want to get in the water by himself.  In fact, he might like it so much that he will want to get in more once he sees how much fun it is.  Assuming that he understands &quot;no,&quot; he will need to be told repeatedly and probably have that reinforced several times, that he is not allowed to go in the water by himself.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to spend time in the water as much as possible, not to make him be satisfied with the water and not eager to go in on his own, but to make him more aware of what water is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest swim lessons starting now.  You have a great opportunity to allow him to practice regularly, and that will help him learn to swim.  Almost 3 is a good age to learn to swim, although I agree with Torben that it's almost never to early to start and never too late to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T20:29:24.327" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1273" CreationDate="2012-03-26T20:56:26.853" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do something similar to Cabbey.  I hold my one year old straddling my knee against the sink or on my hip.  We lean over and wash my right hand and his left hand, then dry both of those.  Then we switch sides and wash my left hand and his right, and then dry both.  I don't hold him close enough to touch the handles easily.  I like the hand gel afterwards sometimes too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-03-26T20:56:26.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4673" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-27T13:53:54.060" Score="12" ViewCount="796" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any tips on how to promote independent play, so our son will learn to (or get used to) play by himself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is quite a demanding child who is constantly asking us to play with him, this didn't used to be a problem because we had time to give to him, or he was at a childminder who could give him attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we have a new addition to the family which means we can't always give him the attention, which often leads to him start nagging and then eventual escalates to tantrums. This has started to get a bit stressful, especially when the newborn is crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2437" LastActivityDate="2017-03-12T19:46:04.520" Title="How to promote individual play for a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|play|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4673" CreationDate="2012-03-27T14:10:56.203" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, a few pieces of advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can your son help you with the baby in any way?  If you are bottle feeding can he help with that?  If you are nursing can he bring you anything?  Can he sing to the baby while you feed him/her? Can he play with a doll right next to you while you are helping the baby?  Can he be in charge of poopy diaper disposal (my kids took this very seriously).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if you give him 10 min where you initiate play with him then you tell him, 'okay now I need to take care of ...  I will come back to play with you after that'.  Be sure he is engaged in something before you leave. This will show him you are not not playing with him, but you can't play with him all the time.  This may not work at the beginning but as with all things consistency and keeping your promise of returning will, in the end, teach him to play on his own and teach him that even when you are not playing with him you still love him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-27T14:10:56.203" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4673" CreationDate="2012-03-28T03:44:27.813" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The behavioralist axiom is to reward the behavior you want and punish the behavior you don't.  A tantrum should bring swift, certain, severe punishment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So applied here ... when the child spends time playing alone, praise and reward him.  When he acts out, punish him, perhaps by closing him in his room or taking away prized possessions for a time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a good discussion about dealing with tantrums &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1244/how-can-you-deal-with-tantrums-without-spanking&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, although the higher voted answers seem to be more about calming the child and negotiating, which will encourage more tantrums, than about preventing future tantrums. What that says about parents and kids today I haven't figured out yet ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-03-28T03:44:27.813" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="934" CreationDate="2012-03-28T04:05:06.810" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've always just bathed baby in the tub with me,  at least since he was 14 days old and we were allowed in the water (after 2 weeks for C-section incision to heal and for his belly button).  He's 13 months now, and it's been easy and fun.  It's a great bonding time since my attention is completely on him.  Another plus is that he loves the water and has never been afraid of it.  I do have to take a second bath if I want to wash my hair or shave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-03-28T04:05:06.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4679" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4682" CreationDate="2012-03-28T14:28:25.270" Score="8" ViewCount="4530" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am considering putting my daughter in a day care which takes children 2 to 3 years old as of their start date for the year, August 30.  My daughter will turn 3 on September 5, so technically she qualifies but she will certainly be the oldest in her class, and nearly a year older than some of the youngest in her class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This day care has multiple other personal advantages for me and my family, but we are most concerned about delaying her development in terms of social skills and language skills by being around younger kids.  The program is a full work day, 5 day a week program, and continues with the same group of kids through May.  Are there any studies which would suggest whether there is any harm to being around younger children all day for 5 days a week?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1583" LastEditorUserId="1583" LastEditDate="2012-03-28T17:26:15.977" LastActivityDate="2019-09-14T19:12:53.747" Title="Does being the oldest in a day care class harm a child's social development?" Tags="|toddler|development|social-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4680" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4681" CreationDate="2012-03-28T16:46:49.363" Score="3" ViewCount="1928" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple I know recently threw a &quot;potty party&quot; for their three-year-old son.  The general idea is outlined &lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=2029062&amp;amp;page=1#.T3M9Z2ES3Uc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, and is that you dedicate a day to intensive potty training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the main ideas are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is a full, intensive one-on-one day with no (or minimal) distractions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child is encouraged to drink a lot and eat lots of salty snacks, to maximize how many potty attempts there will be.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A doll is used to model the desired behavior. Instruction is given to the doll, rather than the child, and the child is encouraged to help &quot;train&quot; the doll.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Presents and a general celebration are held to make the child excited about the concept.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite frankly, the whole thing sounds rather silly to me, and I worry that such a plan might put too much pressure on the child to &quot;succeed&quot; immediately (the goal is to complete potty training in a single day, and the author of the book referenced in that article claims that this is a reasonable expectation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this an effective technique?  Does anyone has experience with it?  Does a child need to reach a certain level on their own before this technique becomes effective (beyond being developed enough to physically &quot;hold it in&quot; long enough to make it to the potty)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-03-29T03:40:16.420" Title="Are &quot;Potty Parties&quot; generally effective?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4680" CreationDate="2012-03-28T17:49:52.670" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never heard it called a potty party, however this is the way I potty trained which is very similar to this idea and did work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I left out the doll idea.  I did stay home for about 2-3 days (depending on the child) in order to avoid accidents outside the house and recognizing that the child was not quite ready to hold it and make it to a store bathroom.  Yes, there were accidents, however no big deal was made of them. After a few day we went on short adventures, going potty before we left and stopping at every bathroom we passed in order to try.  I always tried as well, in order to demonstrate.  This method does seem to basically be what the potty party is based on, without the title.  So I would say, yes, it should work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Big&lt;/strong&gt; caveat, we did not do this until the child was interested, or at least until it was clear to us the child had an idea of when they were going.  If you push to soon it will back fire, but if you miss your opportunity the child will get used to going in a diaper and you will be stuck with diapers much longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-28T17:49:52.670" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4679" CreationDate="2012-03-28T18:17:46.363" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally, there's not much developmental difference between children who are 30 months old and who are 36 months old.  In specific cases, yes, there can be a significant difference, but since every child &lt;a href=&quot;http://pubs.ext.vt.edu/350/350-053/350-053.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;develops at different rates&lt;/a&gt;, it is entirely possible that a 30 month old child will be more advanced in some areas than a 36 month old.  When the difference gets down to 3 months or less, the developmental gap will usually be so small as to be non existent.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are, of course, exceptions to this.  My son, 18 months, goes to a daycare where the next oldest child is 17 months.  However, the 17 month old was born 2 months premature, and is significantly behind on many developmental milestones.  My son is right on target for most physical milestones, and significantly advanced for verbal milestones.  The contrast between the two of them is striking.  However, they seem to get along just fine, and engage in parallel play (the other child tends to follow my son around whenever possible).  This is a bit of an extreme example, though, and I think you'll find that most kids that close in age will be so similar that it will be difficult to determine who is older simply by watching them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could find no specific studies on the impact of being the oldest child in a daycare setting, but at wider age ranges it would seem to have some parallels with birth order within a family.  On that count, there are actually studies that indicate the oldest child in a family tends to have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/25/us/25sibling.html?pagewanted=all&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;higher IQ&lt;/a&gt;.  This is more likely attributable to the parental interactions than any social dynamic between the children, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/birth_order.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This list of characteristics associated with birth order&lt;/a&gt;, however, might have more relevance since peer interaction seems to play a larger part:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;First Child&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Is only child for period of time; used to being center&#xA;  of attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Believes must gain and hold superiority over other children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Being right, controlling often important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;May respond to birth of second child by feeling unloved and neglected.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Strives to keep or regain parents’ attention through conformity. If this failed, chooses to misbehave.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;May develop competent, responsible behavior or become very discouraged.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Sometime strives to protect and help others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Strives to please.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=nLdrgF2aBrIC&amp;amp;pg=PA141&amp;amp;lpg=PA141&amp;amp;dq=study+oldest+child+in+daycare&amp;amp;source=bl&amp;amp;ots=2P--aJsCCM&amp;amp;sig=NHae-MzMwlJ_JfRxCoMfUdV-cc4&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=w0pzT7ClBY7AtgeuyuGNBg&amp;amp;ved=0CIABEOgBMAI#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=study%20oldest%20child%20in%20daycare&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;study on family daycare in Israel&lt;/a&gt; did find some correlation between mixed age vs. homogeneous age daycare groups and the quality of the care provided:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The best quality of interaction between caregivers and children is found in groups where the difference between youngest and oldest child is between 13 and 24 months (M. Rosenthal, 1990).  When the group was fairly age homogeneous and the children were mostly less than 2 years old, the caregivers usually offered a poorer quality physical environment, fewer educationally oriented interactions, less frequent group interaction, and were more restrictive, than caregivers caring for children age 2-3 in more age-heterogeneous groups.  The children in these groups tended in turn to engage less frequently in fine motor play, have fewer positive peer interactions, and were somewhat more frequently emotionally distressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that a wider range of children, particularly in the 2-3 year category your daughter is in, is preferable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along more anecdotal lines, I found this &lt;a href=&quot;http://greenfishchronicles.org/2011/05/05/the-importance-of-the-oldest-in-care/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;blog entry&lt;/a&gt; by a family childcare provider who feels that being the oldest in the group is a positive position:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Being the oldest in a group is a positive position that teaches a child a great deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;nurturing skills&lt;/strong&gt;: taking care of others, being kind and helpful this oldest position builds  life skills that all parents want their children to have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;leadership skills&lt;/strong&gt;: depending on where the child falls in their own sibling order or if they have a sibling, this could be the only time the baby, middle child or an only get’s to be the oldest.  They finally get to facilitate play and branch out into areas of play that they may not have had an opportunity to explore before, it will promote creativity, and exploration.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;builds confidence&lt;/strong&gt;: by giving a little responsibility with simple things, setting the table, helping the little ones with coats and shoes, you are setting up the oldest to succeed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;hone problem solving skills&lt;/strong&gt;: being the oldest, they finally get to practice all those skills with the young ones, how to share, use your words, and keeping things safe just to name a few. They get to practice and be the one that everyone looks to for the good example.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2019-09-14T19:12:53.747" LastActivityDate="2019-09-14T19:12:53.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4680" CreationDate="2012-03-29T03:40:16.420" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is basically how we potty trained our 3-year old, but saying that your child will be completely potty trained in 1 day is a bit of a stretch.  For what it's worth, our son wasn't exactly interested in being potty trained when we did this, and we had absolutely no problems with him.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you think about it, there are a lot of steps involved in learning to use the potty.  You have to learn to identify the sensation of needing to potty, learning to manipulate pants and underwear, learning to get to the potty in time to use it, etc.  The goal of the 1-day potty training (at least in my mind), was to help my son master these basic skills and we could deal with the rest of it as his potty skills progressed, but I think if you're expecting your child to be 100% using the potty on his/her own after one day you'll be sorely disappointed.&#xA;Like Morah, we omitted the doll, but if A had an accident, we didn't make a big deal out of it or chastise him.  We just cleaned up and reminded him the next time that pee or poop went in the potty.  When he was successful, he got stickers and we sang and danced.  He loved it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-03-29T03:40:16.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4684" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-29T06:23:00.783" Score="29" ViewCount="23369" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this isn't exactly appropriate for this site -- I'm not a parent, I'm a son -- but I think it's still applicable to the community here. I would prefer feedback from actual parents concerned about other parents, not people who theorize about child-parent relationships, but if there's a better q/a site for me to migrate this question to, please let me know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am 20 years old, third year in college. I went to church about every Sunday for the first 18 years of my life, with my parents. When I moved out to go to college, I stopped going to church all together. My Mom still tells me every time I see her (whenever I go home, about twice a semester) that she's praying for me. I go with my parents to church every time I'm home, sing the songs, pray the prayers at dinner, the whole deal. Both my parents ask me if I've found a church yet, how often I go looking, etc. but I always manage to give them the excuse that I've been really busy with school (which is true, but of course irrelevant). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth is, I haven't self-identified as a christian since I was 16. I've avoided telling my parents this because... well, it would be very difficult. My Mom would probably get really upset and my Dad would probably just try to get in a huge theological argument with me, but it wouldn't change my mind, it would distress them further, and lead to a large divide between us. At the same time, it feels wrong to outright deceive them all the time. I'm definitely willing to continue whatever traditional religious stuff I would otherwise do to please them, even though it all means nothing (other than family tradition) to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, can you give me some advice on what to do? Should I have the talk and break it to them? If so, what's the best way to do that? How can I avoid religion causing a divide between us?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2442" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-09T19:53:17.893" LastActivityDate="2017-11-22T17:28:06.230" Title="Breaking my rejection of christianity to my parents" Tags="|conflict|religion|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4684" CreationDate="2012-03-29T12:50:31.500" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents have a hard time when their adult children have a different way of life then they have.  Often parents feel it a rejection of their parenting. This being said, you asked about how to discuss it with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using the word 'rejection' worries me.  I assume you still respect Christianity as a way of life, you just don't choose to embrace it for your own life.  It sounds like you were brought up in a religious home which held very strong beliefs. If you say you are 'rejecting' Christianity your are essentially saying, from your parents' point of view, that you are rejecting your upbringing so my fist piece of advice is to stay away from that word.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of actually sitting down and 'breaking it to them' you need to tread lightly and be sure to stay on topic.  Explain to them that you have chosen to steer away from Christianity as a way of life. You wanted to let them know because... (I don't know why, but you feel like you must so you will have to fill that in yourself, it may be as simple as it doesn't fit into your life right now, you are having trouble with the Christian belief system, etc.)  Also include that right now a theological discussion would not be productive and  you are not interested in getting into an argument as belief is belief and by its very nature can not be proven.  If you remain calm even in the face of non-calm parents (which I recognize is very difficult) you should be fine.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel that they need to be told, that you need to come out so to speak, trust your gut, but tread lightly, stay calm, say it straight, and keep the conversation short.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you luck, and as a parent, it would be hard for me, but in the end my kids love me and I love them and that will prevail (it may take time so be prepared for that).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-09T19:53:29.967" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T19:53:29.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4684" CreationDate="2012-03-29T14:34:43.690" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Morah - don't tell them that you &lt;em&gt;reject&lt;/em&gt; Christianity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is OK to not be convinced that the faith is not for you - and if you phrase it correctly, your parents will not argue with you, rather succumb to just praying (more) for you. You have to be comfortable with the fact that your parents genuinely want you to be a Christian. So you must identify yourself as either a Christian, or tell them that you are not sure if Christianity is the answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't tell them that you are rejecting Christianity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't tell them what you find wrong with Christianity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't belittle their belief.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't tell them that you will never believe in Christianity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to understand their faith.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do let them pray for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Convince them that you are merely a seeker for truth. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Convince them that you need to find Christianity (Christ) on your own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Thank them for the education and tools they have given you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important that under no circumstances you discuss the specifics of what you find wrong with Christianity, especially if you have no intentions of changing your belief. There are generally two viewpoints: (a) people who want to believe, but can't over some facts; (b) people who don't want to believe, and will reject every argument. If you are in the latter group, don't open up a debate. Just tell them that this is between you and God.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that if you've turned atheist, that complicates the matter further. Religious parents are usually disturbed when they've discovered that their child has all together stopped believing in God. I'd recommend skipping that bit and continuing on the &quot;seeking the truth&quot; trail. If a Christian genuinely believes that Christianity is the answer, they should respond with &quot;I will pray that you find the truth which is Christianity.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I am a Christian. (I wasn't raised as such, my parents aren't Christians; they are of a different faith entirely.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-03-29T19:19:34.453" LastActivityDate="2012-03-29T19:19:34.453" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4684" CreationDate="2012-03-29T15:48:05.233" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key thing to think about as you prepare for your discussion is respect.  You respect your parents and the way you were raised.  You respect and honor their decisions in faith.  You respect that they will disagree with your decision to step away from their religion.  I imagine your goal here is to agree to disagree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I would consider here:  every person, from the lowliest slave to Abraham, Jesus, and Mohammed has questioned their faith and their place in it.  The way you feel today may not reflect how you feel in 50 years.  It would be unfortunate if you burned the bridges to your past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be that your rejection (I agree with Morah, this is a strong word and should be avoided) will cause your parents to reject you.  I know of many people that claim to place religious adherence over family ties.  You may no longer be welcome in those family traditions.  I don't want to advocate deception or anything like that, but many people attend church for reasons that have little to do with faith.  Some attend because it's important to their spouse, others attend for the community - not everyone feels that church is only for worship.  You may find it's enough to attend and celebrate your family rather than your parents' religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One undercurrent in your question is the discomfort with being asked about searching for a church.  If your goal in this endeavor is to avoid that discussion, I would caution you that taking this step is likely to result in more uncomfortable situations, not less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is hard as a parent to watch your child make decisions you would not make.  Your natural instinct is to protect them, regardless of how much danger it would put you in, or how badly you might hurt their feelings.  You will have to steer this conversation carefully to keep it as rational as possible.  The first attempt may go very badly.  If you want your parents to understand your decision, this is something you will have to put a lot of effort into.  Make sure you reiterate how much you care and love them and how much you appreciate how they've raised you.  Even parents need positive reinforcement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastActivityDate="2012-03-29T15:48:05.233" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4684" CreationDate="2012-03-29T16:16:25.810" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've rejected religion but never had a compelling reason to overtly bring it up with my parents. I'm sure they've sort of figured it out by now in passing conversations, but religion, or a lack thereof, I believe, is a personal thing and unless other people ASK for your viewpoint on it, I see no reason to share it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you don't mind the traditional part of the act, then feel free to continue doing it. No need to bring it up unless they ask, in my opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-03-29T16:16:25.810" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2012-03-29T16:41:54.860" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;NEVER stop. Maybe add to the ritual having them read to you when they are able (Bob books are great for first graders).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-03-29T16:41:54.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4684" CreationDate="2012-03-29T18:46:18.017" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would be fair of you to let your parents know. They care about you, and it would be unkind to deliberately continue deceiving them. However, &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; you tell them is probably very important for a good outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you do anything, you need to &lt;strong&gt;decide what outcome you want.&lt;/strong&gt; What's most important to you? That your parents respect you afterwards? That they still respect you as part of the family?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first thought was that your parents might accept your situation more easily if you &lt;strong&gt;don't drop the bomb&lt;/strong&gt; but bring it to them gently instead. Don't be all &quot;religion sucks and god is an illusion&quot; on them; that might be the worst possible thing to do. Remember that it took you a few years to make up your mind, so you should expect them to take a while to accept it too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think back four years: &lt;em&gt;What made you doubt your belief in the very beginning?&lt;/em&gt; It might have been just a tiny seed in your mind, but it eventually grew into where you are now. That seed &lt;strong&gt;might be a good opening act&lt;/strong&gt; for gently bringing the topic up with your parents. Later, you can progress along different paths:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pretend to believe. This is also called &lt;em&gt;lying&lt;/em&gt; and is bound to backfire sooner or later, so I'm not recommending it. Honesty always pays off, even though it might hurt up front.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Believe but doubt. This is the seed that got you here. Perhaps pretend for a moment that you're not &quot;here&quot; yet but still sitting with that seed in your mind. This will allow your parents to see your journey away from belief - much better than dropping a bomb.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Participate for their sake. This might be the best outcome? They might accept that you don't believe as strongly as they do but they still want you to participate in events. It's up to you to decide if you can go along with the events if you no longer believe. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't participate, but don't reject. If you can't stand the events, at least don't burn your bridges: Accept and respect their choice of faith, and accept that they might not reciprocate. Act as a smart and responsible adult.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Openly reject - also not recommended. I think few people would deliberately spit in their parents' faces, but it certainly gets the point across and they are likely to leave you alone afterwards. &lt;em&gt;Very alone.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you talk to your parents, &lt;strong&gt;use the &quot;me&quot; approach:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;I feel&lt;/em&gt; that... &lt;em&gt;I think&lt;/em&gt; that... This removes the facts or beliefs from the discussion and leaves only &lt;em&gt;how you feel&lt;/em&gt; about the topic, and that's precisely the point. You would want to discuss &lt;em&gt;your situation&lt;/em&gt; and not the religion itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also: You might want to browse through Dale's blog here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Meming of Life&lt;/a&gt; - it deals with wise but everyday insights by a parent who wants to raise his children with a thorough understanding of religion, but with the emphasis that religion is not &quot;true&quot;. There's lots of wise stuff in there, but the most impressive thing is that Dale knows a lot about religion -- when you've got your facts and references straight, you can argue much better, but remember that &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; don't really want to discuss the religion itself but only &lt;em&gt;your thoughts&lt;/em&gt; about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Disclaimer: I am not religious &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1984/109&quot;&gt;at all.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-03-29T20:11:03.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4692" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4698" CreationDate="2012-03-30T01:03:29.280" Score="2" ViewCount="5933" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got a radio flyer tricycle for our daughter during Christmas, but she has had a hard time grasping the basics (steering and pedaling).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have suggestions for the best way to teach her these things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1699" LastEditorUserId="1166" LastEditDate="2012-03-30T03:17:56.570" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T13:18:51.893" Title="What is the best way to teach my toddler to ride a tricycle?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1273" CreationDate="2012-03-30T02:22:06.077" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just stand my toddler on the counter and we wash our hands together. She can bent down and reach the sink comfortably and it keeps her clothes from getting wet from the water on the counter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she was younger, I'd just stick my knee up against the sink and sit her on my leg. Worked great!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1935" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T02:22:06.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4583" CreationDate="2012-03-30T02:46:27.793" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, do not be devastated that she may have a learning disability!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, be prepared for the possibility that she may have a learning disability &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; be gifted, especially given the fact that her brother is gifted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important thing is to see a neurologist or other &lt;em&gt;accredited&lt;/em&gt; evaluator and have her evaluated immediately. The sooner you find out what's going wrong, the sooner you can work to find coping mechanisms to help her out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not just let the school place her in a special education class without finding out what is actually wrong. Schools (even with their special education class) may not be equipped to properly help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1935" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T02:46:27.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4568" CreationDate="2012-03-30T03:00:13.500" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We went through the same frustration with our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was very interested and enthusiastic about using the potty and for a couple months she would exclaim &quot;I have to go potty!&quot; and she had already gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We figure it took a while to learn the signs before she went. Putting on &quot;big girl panties&quot; as well gave her additional incentive to learn faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also wanted to try going cold turkey on the diapers. But it would have been too hard on my wife ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're in the best position now - she wants to learn. You just need a bit of time and to find the magic method that'll work for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1935" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T03:00:13.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2445" CreationDate="2012-03-30T03:32:43.150" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of suggestions that worked for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stress that he has to sit on the potty, but doesn't have to actually go&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give him a distraction -  a book to read on the potty will help take his mind off it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lead by example and go together! My daughter would frequently say that she didn't want to go, but when we went together she would quite happily do so.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1935" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T03:32:43.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4697" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4700" CreationDate="2012-03-30T05:08:40.393" Score="15" ViewCount="3182" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler has discovered the joys of having her hand down the front of her panties. Frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we don't want to tell her that doing so is wrong, but we want to explain to her that there's an appropriate time to be doing such things and an inappropriate time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we best explain to her that she ought not to be doing such things when in public or in company?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1935" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-22T12:28:53.793" LastActivityDate="2019-08-22T12:28:53.793" Title="How to explain to a toddler when masturbation is appropriate?" Tags="|toddler|sex|sex-education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4692" CreationDate="2012-03-30T13:18:51.893" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you've already got a tricycle, I would approach it this way:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For starters, disengage the pedals if possible, and just train movement using the feet on the ground. She will learn quickly that the handlebar is very useful for steering and not just to avoid falling off. If you can attach a broomstick handle, you could help with movement while she is training steering. IMHO, train the pedaling as the last step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is based on my observations with my own toddler, now age 2½. What he discovered first is that &lt;strong&gt;using the pedals is tricky,&lt;/strong&gt; better save that for later. Steering is tricky too, but less than pedaling. The easiest is to use the feet: sit down and push with the feet. Something like a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby-Car&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Bobby-Car&lt;/a&gt; is good leg-pushing practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Learning to move:&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;Our toddler got a similar push car early on, but with a large handle in the rear so we could push it, too. He couldn't steer it, and he couldn't really move it either, but he loved climbing on it and eventually got the hang of how to move it. I pushed him around the apartment and used the handle to steer in the beginning; he enjoyed the movement and it gave him an understanding that the thing moves best in the directions of the wheels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Learning to steer:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;We also got a used tricycle, also with a long &quot;broomstick&quot; handle in the rear. We used that to push him short distances outdoors, and we just kept the front wheel lightly off the ground for easier handling until he learned that steering in the desired direction gave him more control over the movement. &lt;strong&gt;The pedals were disengaged&lt;/strong&gt; during this time, so they served only as footrests but didn't turn with the front wheel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Learning to pedal:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;To be honest, we're not really trying that yet, so I can't help with that yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, we're training balance. He has moved on from the tricycle to a training bike -- first a small four-wheel (left), then a slightly larger &quot;real&quot; bike without pedals (right). This lets him go fast enough that he can coast a little with lifted feet, and just learn balanced steering -- in my opinion, this is &lt;strong&gt;much&lt;/strong&gt; better than training wheels could ever be. &lt;strong&gt;I am convinced that he will learn pedaling easily after that&lt;/strong&gt; because he's already learned the other parts first.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/zypUO.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt; (not quite same scale)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T13:18:51.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4151" CreationDate="2012-03-30T17:18:44.117" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;IMHO &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4154/1004&quot;&gt;Peter&lt;/a&gt; is overthinking this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about feelings, worry about behavior. Insist that your child behave properly, and if someone is behaving poorly to your child, let your child know that it isn't their fault and that they still need to behave properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;1 - Child doesn't like someone else&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not try to manage your child's feelings. All you should expect from child is to treat others with courtesy and respect. They don't have to like crazy Aunt June, but the dislike should not be obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, talk to your child and probe into what is going on. It may be silly (&amp;quot;She smells funny&amp;quot;), or it may be chilling (&amp;quot;She yells at me&amp;quot;). Do not take your child's concerns lightly, and do not force your child into uncomfortable situations beyond common courtesy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;2 - Someone else doesn't like your child.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, you can't do anything about what crazy Aunt June thinks of your child, unless your kid is obnoxious and Aunt June is right. What you need to do however, is work with your child on the idea that not everyone is going to like them, and that is perfectly OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;3 - Common Courtesy&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is actually the tough part ... you must continually impress upon your child the concept that &lt;strong&gt;everyone&lt;/strong&gt; is to be treated with courtesy and respect, and you must teach what that means in terms of behavior. Whether they like the person, or the person likes them, or the person treats them poorly, the person is to be treated with courtesy and respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am afraid courtesy is a dying concept, and that is a shame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-03-30T17:18:44.117" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4697" CreationDate="2012-03-30T23:15:53.380" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;All you have to be is honest and straight forward: &quot;If you want to touch yourself, you must do it in private. That is a private time activity. Do you know what private is?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is a good segue that keeps her focused on your real problem, i.e. her timing, and to help you guys from appearing or sounding uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2432" LastEditorUserId="2432" LastEditDate="2012-04-01T07:17:43.157" LastActivityDate="2012-04-01T07:17:43.157" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1978" CreationDate="2012-03-31T08:10:09.403" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A slightly different perspective: my wife is Catholic, I'm Agnostic.  I think there may well be a God, but I wasn't raised in any religion and have no personal experience to base belief on.  From the beginning of our relationship, my wife made it clear that she needed her &quot;significant other&quot; to come to church with her, so over the past 25+ years I've only missed a handful of weekly and special masses.  No complaints, though, I've seen some impressive Churches when we've traveled, learned a lot of history, even met a &lt;s&gt;Pope&lt;/s&gt; Saint. (now that John Paul's been canonized.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Needless to say, we're raising our daughter as a Catholic...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I think a key component of raising a child well is for parents to be consistent.  If the parents deliver dramatically different messages (on almost any topic), that's going to lead to negative psychological impacts somewhere along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case, dealing with religion is easy: my wife is very devout, but also very rational.  I'm very rational and have no objection to religion despite not having any belief myself.  We both agree that there's no problem with looking at life from a Catholic perspective and that the time to give them the Catholic (or any religious) perspective is as they grow up.  At 8 years old now, our daughter knows that I'm not Catholic (obviously I don't go to communion), but she knows that there's nothing wrong with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given how important I think consistency is, none of your options is very good because you and your wife don't seem to be able to reach a compromise.  I've read a bit of your blog, but am not going to read all the relevant posts to figure out how strongly anti-religious you've become, but clearly there's a conflict and unless you come to some agreement, I think there will be some negative psychological impact on your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2448" LastEditorUserId="2448" LastEditDate="2016-09-08T17:37:45.800" LastActivityDate="2016-09-08T17:37:45.800" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4569" CreationDate="2012-03-31T08:22:31.930" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used one of these &lt;a href=&quot;http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/07/15/34/53/0007153453845_500X500.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cute monkey harness/backpacks&lt;/a&gt; a few times and it was great.  We used it in very crowded venues (summer fairs, aquariums) where our daughter wanted to run everywhere and look at everything.  It took the stress right out of those events, &lt;em&gt;knowing&lt;/em&gt; that she was right there.  Not only did we not get any funny looks, other people were clearly interested in getting the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2448" LastActivityDate="2012-03-31T08:22:31.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4703" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-31T15:19:05.503" Score="3" ViewCount="1138" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've recently tried Ferber's method of progressive waiting to help our 4-month-old sleep better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At nights, it's worked extremely well... after his bath in the evening he now falls asleep within minutes of being placed in his crib, and usually sleeps through the night with only one feeding, after which he falls asleep again in his crib with no problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, naps aren't working so well. He only seems to be able to fall asleep while nursing. We've tried preventing him from sleeping while nursing, which only causes him to be so tired that at his next feeding he'll fall asleep instantly as soon as he's put on the breast. And he still won't fall asleep any other way, even being held or rocked. We've let him cry in his crib for up to 30 minutes, and his crying only increases in intensity (unlike when we were sleep training him in the evenings, when he'd eventually get calmer).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone dealt with any similar scenarios? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2028" LastActivityDate="2012-03-31T18:33:50.073" Title="How do we break nursing associations at naptime?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4704" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4714" CreationDate="2012-03-31T16:30:48.683" Score="4" ViewCount="1637" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to know how to comfort and relax a newborn whose primary teeth (or milk teeth) are about to emerge. What about soothing the gums with a teether? I have read that  they are harmful and should not be used. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we alleviate the soreness with some kind of medication? Or should we just leave things alone and let Nature take its course? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please base the description of your suggested approach on specific details and proven methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2297" LastEditorUserId="7324" LastEditDate="2014-07-11T13:54:06.630" LastActivityDate="2014-07-11T14:07:56.217" Title="How might one comfort a newborn with sore gums whose teeth are about to erupt?" Tags="|newborn|teething|teeth|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4703" CreationDate="2012-03-31T18:33:50.073" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, naptime is very likely going to be harder than bedtime. There's so much to do during the day that the baby doesn't want to go to sleep. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you stick with it for a while before giving up. Here are some ideas (Usual disclaimer - these are only suggestions. They may not work for your baby, or you may be opposed to them. Take the ones that sit well with you, and leave the rest).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Check out the book &quot;The No Cry Sleep Solution&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; It has some good information on nursing and sleeping, as well as how to break sleep associations.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use a pacifier.&lt;/strong&gt; Young infants are comforted by the sucking motion of nursing, and a pacifier mimics that. It might help to use a pacifier to help break him of nursing to sleep. Of course, you'll have to eventually break him of that, as well, but at least doing this, he gets the comfort he needs, and Mom doesn't have to deal with nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make Dad put him down for naps.&lt;/strong&gt; We found that our son wouldn't go to sleep without nursing if I tried putting him down, but he'd go down a lot easier if Dad put him down. This might take some phasing out - nurse for shorter periods of time, then hand off to Dad, but always make sure that he's still awake, and Mom's not in sight or earshot after handing baby off.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Accept that he might not be ready.&lt;/strong&gt; It's possible that he's simply not ready to give up nursing before naps. This can especially be the case if there's been a recent disruption in his routine (moving, a death in the family, vacation, etc). Growth spurts and teething can also contribute to not wanting to sleep. It might be worth it to wait a couple of weeks, or even a month or two, then try again.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have a routine similar to bedtime.&lt;/strong&gt; It doesn't have to be as long as the bedtime routine, but have something similar and keep a routine that signals that it's time to go to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure the room is sufficiently dark.&lt;/strong&gt; Light means activity! Keep the room dark to help convey and reinforce that it's time to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use other methods to get him to sleep.&lt;/strong&gt; It might help to put him in something like a Moby wrap and walk around to get him to nod off without nursing. Again, this is replacing one sleep association with another, but it can be a step in the right direction by disassociating Mom and nursing with sleep and may make getting him down easier.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stay quiet just before and during nap time.&lt;/strong&gt; Baby doesn't want to miss all of the action! Make sure to convey that he's not missing anything by sleeping (this will also help when he's older and in that stage where he's sure that you're having a party when he's asleep). It might also help to play music or a white noise machine to drown out the daytime noises.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Adjust his nap schedule.&lt;/strong&gt; We all have our circadian rhythms, where we fall asleep easier and sleep better if we do so in certain time frames, and function better when we wake up at certain times. Babies are no different. It's possible you may need to shift his nap time by 30-60 minutes one way or another. It's also possible his number of naps isn't right. If he's on three a day, try consolidating two. If he's on two naps, try reincorporating the third. Also, make sure he's sleeping enough for each nap. The general rule of thumb is no less than an hour, and for babies that young, it's not uncommon for them to sleep 2-4 hours a stretch (especially for the first two naps). It sounds counterintuitive, but longer naps doesn't necessarily mean the next sleep time is going to be a fight. As the saying goes, &quot;sleep begets sleep&quot; - adequate sleep will keep them from going into a state of overtiredness, where they end up wired and their sleep quality decreases (when you do manage to get them to sleep).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-03-31T18:33:50.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4706" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-03-31T19:17:54.857" Score="2" ViewCount="3058" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2738/are-exersaucers-walkers-jumpers-bad-for-children-or-is-that-simply-a-misconcepti&quot;&gt;Are ExerSaucers/walkers/jumpers bad for children or is that simply a misconception?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been deliberating whether I should buy a walker for my 11 month old baby. I was hoping that it'll enable him to learn to walk early, but after some googling I have come across several articles that warn against the dangers of using a walker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one that strikes me as most scary is: &lt;a href=&quot;http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/22/the-dangers-of-baby-walkers/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/22/the-dangers-of-baby-walkers/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any truth to these warnings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/tWvDa.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2450" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T01:55:20.033" Title="Are baby walkers harmful?" Tags="|toddler|walking|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2012-04-02T12:06:15.903" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4708" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4720" CreationDate="2012-03-31T20:41:34.673" Score="18" ViewCount="76617" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-year old has always had trouble settling and sleeping through the night, but recently the problem seems to have become an awful lot worse. It all came to a head one night a few weeks ago after he woke at midnight and didn't drop off again till 4am, despite our best efforts with the &quot;controlled crying&quot; technique. That was when we knew we had to do &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; proactively, and soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After seeking advice from various different sources (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4600/getting-a-2-year-old-back-to-sleep-in-the-middle-of-the-night&quot;&gt;including this forum&lt;/a&gt;), we opted to try Supernanny's &quot;Stay in Bed&quot; technique. She describes it in her book and there are various clips of it on the TV show (e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO3DuBKXqoM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this clip~ 24 mins &amp;amp; 29mins &lt;/a&gt;). She says it is the best approach for a child of his age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically it involves making sure your child has eaten and drunk well and carrying out a calming bed-time routine, putting your child in bed and sitting in the room with them, sitting side-on and without making eye-contact. The first time he gets out, you say &quot;It's bedtime.&quot; and put him back. The second time, you say &quot;Bedtime&quot;. Any subsequent times, you say &lt;strong&gt;NOTHING&lt;/strong&gt;- ignore the screams, the questions, the begging for food, drink, etc- just lift him up and put him back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's all very well. But I've been doing it for almost a week, and so far the number of times I have had to put him back to bed (in chronological order) have been: 40,23,21,4,8,18. Last night he woke at 3am and (despite me sitting silently in his room after he woke) would not settle till 5am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the TV show, the technique always works &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; quickly and effectively when done correctly. But as far as I can see, I have followed everything &lt;em&gt;to the letter&lt;/em&gt;, and I certainly have not once said a word to him when I shouldn't. The only doubt I have is that sometimes I lie down, rather than sit when I come in after he's woken in the middle of the night (can you blame me?)- don't know if that's important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone got any advice on what I may be doing wrong, or maybe just some encouragement that it can take a long time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last point- I know there are loads of contrasting techniques out there, and I'm sure each has its merits. But I'd really rather stick with this technique now I've started, rather than start trying another one. Simply because changing it is distressing and confusing for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T21:47:51.603" Title="Advice for carrying out the &quot;Stay in Bed&quot; technique with our 2-year-old" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4708" CreationDate="2012-04-01T04:55:05.073" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parenting expert (only one young child) but I imagine that like any advice we receive from the so called professionals we have to be prepared it won't work in the time-frames they say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like a cooking show, they make it sound so easy and in the perfect world everything would work exactly like they say.  However, to carry on this theme like cooking, our ovens vary, ingredients can vary across countries (or even brands), and so the end result is not always as expected.  I would imagine this is the same for advice in parenting.  In general their technique would work for a good chunk of children.  However our wee fuzz balls are all different.  In your case sounds like things are pretty tough and either your child is one determined little critter or perhaps there is something else they are trying to tell you?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to hang in there.  If things didn't change after 2 weeks then you perhaps may want to get other advice from a health professional or even talk to someone for your own sanity and support.  But it seems like it's a battle of the wills and it is so important you hang in there and show your child whos boss.  Pure theorisation on this, but it might mean greater behavioural rewards in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I agree with you to stay with this technique.  One of the biggest things I agree with from the stuff I'm read, heard is to keep things consistant and once started on a course stick to it and don't give in.  Kids will always push the boundaries no matter how big they are.  I did read somewhere that this technique can sometimes be slower than expected.  A positive is that it will really show you your limits and when you succeed ( because you will), you'll feel like you can overcome anything....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and I really hope things improve for you.  If something works would love to know.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2455" LastEditorUserId="2455" LastEditDate="2012-04-01T05:04:05.110" LastActivityDate="2012-04-01T05:04:05.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4708" CreationDate="2012-04-01T04:55:07.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about, for a while, have him sleep in your bed?  Other sleeping people nearby can make a toddler real drowsy.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2012-04-01T04:55:07.897" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4708" CreationDate="2012-04-01T17:29:01.133" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess the &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; question is &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; is he waking up and refusing to go back to sleep?  Is he hungry?  Thirsty?  Afraid of the dark?  Need a dry diaper?  Growth spurt?  I would assume that by this age he could communicate to you if it were one of the first two, but perhaps not so much one of the second three--especially if it's the middle of the night and he's all ready worked up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's none of the above things, then perhaps he's legitimately not tired when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  Is he still taking a nap during the day?  While 2 seems somewhat young to remove the nap, it's not unheard-of (one of my nieces briefly started refusing to nap around that age, but she eventually returned to it) and that might help him sleep through the night.  It might mean putting him to bed a little earlier so as to avoid becoming overtired, but it's a possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any rate, it seems like the technique is working, as the number of times you were having to put him back down is going down so it certainly seems like he's learning that he can put himself back to sleep.  Just because the numbers are creeping back up doesn't necessarily mean it isn't working.  When we were sleeping training out son, we'd go several days with absolutely no problems, and suddenly he'd have a night or two where he would fight going to sleep again.  It sounds like you're doing the right thing, but if you aren't seeing a marked improvement by the end of this week, then I'd say it's time for some professional advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-01T17:29:01.133" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4706" CreationDate="2012-04-01T17:58:02.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a baby, in 1981, walkers were all the rage.  I was walking when I was seven and a-half months old.  Apparently, I more or less skipped crawling altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know about physical or mental developmental delays associated with walkers, but the dangers of my kids injuring themselves in one was enough for me to never buy one for them, and if you have carpet in your house it's pretty useless anyway.  My son walked when he was 13 months old, and my daughter was 15 months which is a pretty average age for walking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://baby.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Baby_Walker&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is a good article that discusses what to look for if you do decide to buy a walker.  Things like making sure it's wide enough to not fit through a standard-size door, a gripping mechanism that prevents the walker from falling down stairs if one wheel does happen to fall over the edge of a step, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is 11 months old and is crawling/creeping/pulling up like he should be, then you've probably missed your window as he'll probably be walking with or without the walker in the next 3-5 months or so anyway, and there are other ways to encourage him to walk.  We always had a lot of success with push-toys (stay away from the ball-popper--it will drive you crazy).  Just out of curiosity, why do you want your son to walk early?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-01T17:58:02.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4704" CreationDate="2012-04-01T18:15:43.697" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have never read anything that said teethers were bad--where did you read that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you aren't comfortable with using a teether (which, btw, neither of my kids ever showed any interest in), you can try giving your child a cool, damp washcloth to chew on.  Our daughter preferred this, but she will also chew on her fingers if nothing else is handy.  My grandmother always gave me frozen bananas to eat which, while very messy, were pretty effective.  My sister-in-law gave her daughter cold celery sticks to chew on.  Another of my sisters-in-law would brush her daughters's gums with an electric toothbrush and this seemed to feel good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Medications are always hit-and-miss.  We used baby Orajel on our son once and discovered it worked better at numbing our finger than numbing his gum.  When your child is producing copious amounts of saliva, the Orajel just doesn't last long enough to be very effective.  I know some parents (our neighbors, my cousin) who had success with teething tablets, but they contain belladonna and I could never bring myself to use them on my own kids.  But these other parents swear by them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it came down to it, and our kids were just miserable and couldn't sleep, we'd give them Tylenol.  It took about 15 minutes for it to kick in, but it at least made them comfortable enough that they could sleep or go about their day pain-free for a few hours.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are pretty inventive at finding things to chew on if their gums are bothering them.  When I was working on my molars as a toddler, I remember chewing on a plastic toy giraffe that had horns on its head and pointy ears, and I can remember how good it felt to chew on that toy giraffe.  Must have felt pretty good to make such a lasting impression on a 2-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-01T18:15:43.697" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4704" CreationDate="2012-04-01T20:14:51.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used a clean cloth or baby sock wrapped around an ice cube with our kids and grandkids. Worked great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2457" LastActivityDate="2012-04-01T20:14:51.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2209" CreationDate="2012-04-02T01:53:14.873" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize this was posted ages ago, but it struck me that your situation is somewhat similar to the one we experienced with my son when we returned to daycare after being potty-trained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was perfectly potty-trained at home, but when we put him in daycare 3 days a week, he started having accidents.  Granted, we didn't have any poo accidents, but we went an entire week with wet underwear and pants everyday that he was at daycare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We couldn't quite ascertain &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; this was occurring except that he was somewhat frightened of the loud flushing sound that the commercial toilets made when he flushed--which, of course, I could do absolutely nothing about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One afternoon when I picked him up, his teacher mentioned that he hadn't used the bathroom since noon (and it was after 4 pm at this point) so he probably needed to go.  I asked him if he needed to use the bathroom and he responded yes.  I walked him into their little restroom and stayed with him while he pottied, cleaned up, and flushed.  After that, he was ok.  It was like he just needed me to go with him once just so he knew it was ok, the potty wouldn't hurt him, and he could go there with confidence.  Since then, I think we've had maybe one accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still doesn't like the loud flushing sound of public toilets.  We can't flush until we're ready to leave the bathroom stall, but it's not a situation that prevents him from using the bathroom anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you mentioned that your son seems to have some digestive issues that can cause large bowel movements.  Is it possible that he literally &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; make it to the potty in time to use it sometimes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T01:53:14.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4706" CreationDate="2012-04-02T01:55:20.033" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since the movement of pushing a walker is completely different than the muscle movement and balance required to walk, I do not think that a walker will offer you any advantages in helping your child learn to walk early.  It also allows a child the mobility that they crave without forcing them to learn to walk (or find some other means of getting around on their own).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I don't necessarily believe that limited amounts of time in a walker are as dangerous as the article you cited states.  Use common parenting sense and supervise the child in the walker.  Make sure the area is safe, especially around stairs.  Meg Coates gave several helpful safety pointer.  As long as the time is limited and the area is safe and supervised, I don't think the walker is particularly harmful, but I certainly don't think it is helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To encourage walking, my aunt (who has done in-home baby and toddler daycare for 20+ years) told me to prop my son against a couch or wall and hold my hands out a little in front of him to get him to try to step.  We also held him on his feet often ever since he was a baby, letting him support his own weight as much as he could.  He ended up walking very early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T01:55:20.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4718" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4724" CreationDate="2012-04-02T02:07:27.257" Score="3" ViewCount="3630" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first son is 12 months old and I'm expecting another child who will be born when my son is 18 months old.  My son is fairly verbal for his age.  He understands phrases like, &quot;Put the ball in the box,&quot; or &quot;Bring Mommy the book.&quot;  He also says about 8 words.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'm sure that once we bring the baby home, he will understand that there is a new person around, but is it likely that he will understand before?  Does it do any good to talk about having a new baby or mommy having a baby in her tummy?  Would bringing him to an ultrasound make any sense at this point?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T13:56:04.250" Title="Will a 12-18 month old understand a baby is on the way?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|siblings|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4708" CreationDate="2012-04-02T02:34:13.123" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a note of encouragement, it sounds like the technique is working.  The number of times putting baby back to bed is decreasing, despite a rather difficult night. It looks like you have stuck with it for 6 nights.  I hope things continue improving tonight, but toddlers have their up and down nights, with any sleep or bedtime technique.  Toddlers can be stubborn, and so it may take longer for this to work than with infant sleep training and putting to bed.  I agree with others that giving this 2 full weeks, and then evaluating the improvement is best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, with TV shows, there is a lot of editing!  The techniques may be great, and it sounds like this one is, but I don't believe that the technique even works for SuperNanny as easily as they make it look.  My roommate was on a &quot;reality&quot; buying you first house show, and it was all staged.  He had already bought the house before they started shooting, so they had him pretend to go through other houses like he was still hunting, change clothes and pretend to go appliance shopping (at the sponsor's store who actually gave him the appliances), and the pretend to decide to buy the house he'd already bought.  So, watch the shows for the tips, but don't believe you're doing something wrong if it's not as easy as it looks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T02:34:13.123" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4708" CreationDate="2012-04-02T04:12:43.840" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I never worried a whole lot about whether our daughter actually SLEPT after bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our rule was that after bedtime, she had to be quiet, leave us alone, and stay in her room. We enforced that rule just like any other, and allowed nature to manage her sleeping. We modeled the same behavior ... after bedtime the lights were lowered and the house quieted. We closed her door and turned our TV low if it was on at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She would read, play with dolls/animals, draw, whatever, as long as she was quiet and left us alone. And she would go to bed when she was sleepy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is almost 20 now, and the habit is still ingrained. She manages her sleep far better than I did when I was 20. Once the house has quieted down for the evening, she quiets down too. Even if she is up late doing school work, she is quiet and lets us alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T04:12:43.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4718" CreationDate="2012-04-02T13:22:16.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two oldest kids are 18 months apart.&#xA;When the second was on its way we kept telling our oldest about it.&#xA;I don't remember when we started to do so, but certainly when it was clearly visible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least shortly before delivery she was aware of the fact. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is definitely good to prepare older siblings to minimize jealousy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2308" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T13:22:16.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4697" CreationDate="2012-04-02T13:30:56.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all I have a question about the wording of the sentence.  The word masturbation seems a bit of an exaggeration.  If your son is actually coming to completion then a doctor must be consulted.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is just playing with himself, as my three year old is, that is age appropriate.  I don't say that to say it is excusable, just nothing to worry about.  When we see him playing with himself we simply ask him if he needs to go to the bathroom.  He says no and removes his hand.  When he is in the bath and touches himself we tell him that a penis is a part of the body, is it private, and should only be touched or played with in private.&#xA;He is slowly getting the message, although he will tell us it is fun, or it tickles, or it feels good.  I understand where he is coming from and I try to simply keep it low key, know he will grow out of it if we keep encouraging him to play only in private.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, I just notices you were talking about your daughter, but I think the same concept applies.  Sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T13:30:56.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4718" CreationDate="2012-04-02T13:33:42.323" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was 15 months old when my second child was born. We didn't have any talks, but we would point at my belly and tell her that there is a baby in there. We'd show her that we are only suppose to rub Mummy's belly, and would gesture so. Eventually, she would rub my belly and say &quot;baby.&quot; We'd play games with her like &quot;Where is the baby?&quot; and she'd come rub my belly to say &quot;baby.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since most of my pregnancy she was a baby herself, I don't think she understood what a baby exactly was, or what it was doing in my belly - but she knew that she had to be gentle. When the baby was finally out, she would still rub my belly for a few days after and say &quot;baby&quot; but she stopped soon after we showed her the newborn and started calling the newborn a baby. (After my belly started disappearing, I think she figured out that there was nothing in there...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure if taking the toddler to an ultrasound would be useful - fetus is pretty hard to see in an ultrasound even for adults! Unless she is familiar with what an heartbeat actually is (do you ever have her listen to your heartbeat anymore?!), she might be wondering what that strange noise is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-04-02T13:56:04.250" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T13:56:04.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4718" CreationDate="2012-04-02T13:52:35.330" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't start too early, children that age have no concept of time.  Soon before the baby is born explain what is going to happen, but don't expect she will understand.  If she asks about your belly tell her a baby is inside, but stop there.  Again, if you tell her too early she doesn't understand time and may obsess about when when when.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T13:52:35.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4704" CreationDate="2012-04-02T13:55:06.640" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rubbing just a little (drop on the end of a finger) scotch on the gums always worked for us.  The bonus is you finish the shot (wink wink)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T02:14:56.100" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T02:14:56.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4584" CreationDate="2012-04-02T19:15:49.013" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even when I'm pretty certain it's just a stall technique, I feel badly refusing a drink of water or access to the toilet.  We've made the final drink and bathroom visit (even if they &quot;don't have to go&quot;) part of the bedtime routine every night.  Then, once they're in bed, I feel free to enforce the rules more strictly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2462" LastActivityDate="2012-04-02T19:15:49.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4728" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4729" CreationDate="2012-04-03T14:37:56.797" Score="11" ViewCount="42066" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler has recently, since moving into T-shirts rather than romper suits, discovered his belly button.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He now spends quite a lot of time with his hands up his shirt, or when settling for bed, with his hands in his sleeping bag playing with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately this has started to lead to it becoming a bit red and irritated so we'd like to try and discourage him if we can.  We're also trying to keep his fingernails as short as we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?                                                 &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1651" LastEditorUserId="1060" LastEditDate="2012-04-07T14:26:59.027" LastActivityDate="2017-09-06T16:11:06.147" Title="Stopping a toddler playing with his belly button" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4728" CreationDate="2012-04-03T15:13:45.023" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Band-aid (a big one) — maybe?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time he does it, ask him to remove his hand (I am sure you have tried this, but be very very consistent).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is in school tell them what you are doing, so they can do the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="2466" LastEditDate="2012-04-03T16:43:50.350" LastActivityDate="2012-04-03T16:43:50.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4731" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4732" CreationDate="2012-04-04T03:25:05.193" Score="5" ViewCount="2708" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know whether this is a good habit or not for my baby.&#xA;But my wife is always taking our baby a bath using warm water.So when the time we would to take our baby to swim in the pool, our baby were shocked and crying. We thought that this is happened because the water in the pool is cold.&#xA;Is there any recommendations that we have to use warm water for bathing a baby? If yes, when is exactly the right time to use normal temperature water for bathing a baby? For your information, our baby is 6 months old right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-04-04T07:26:06.983" LastActivityDate="2012-04-04T07:41:08.197" Title="Is it recommended to use warm water for bathing my baby?" Tags="|toddler|infant|bathing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4731" CreationDate="2012-04-04T07:41:08.197" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The recommendation I got from the midwives in 2009 was that &lt;strong&gt;the water needs to be body-temperature.&lt;/strong&gt; Use a bath thermometer to check this, because it should never be warmer than that. This applies to infants in particular. This becomes less of an issue as the child grows, but you should certainly be careful in the first year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, this means that if you throw an infant into the ocean anywhere in the world, the infant is going to &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;freeze!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; The same is true for a public bath. The solution here consists of two steps: &lt;strong&gt;First,&lt;/strong&gt; choose a location where the water is as warm as possible (some public baths have small baby pools where the water is a lot warmer than the regular pools). &lt;strong&gt;Second,&lt;/strong&gt; only be in the water a short time, maybe no more than 5 minutes(!), then dry the child and warm up again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2278/109&quot;&gt;I've mentioned earlier&lt;/a&gt; that the reason is that infants have very small bodies, so temperature differences are more significant to them than to older kids or adults. They can't handle &quot;too cold&quot; or &quot;too hot&quot; the way we can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-04-04T07:41:08.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4733" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-04T08:48:58.813" Score="4" ViewCount="15383" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have concerns regarding our baby (less than 1 yr) sleeping in an air conditioned room. I live in Mumbai. Its an area with extremely high humidity and very hot temperatures. We all sleep in an air conditioned room. But we are afraid that the baby will be accustomed to sleeping in A.C. rooms only, and that this might interfere with her sleeping in areas that aren't air conditioned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we go out to some relative's place, will she be able to sleep in a non A.C. room?&#xA;Is there any way to keep the baby cool without A.C.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2383" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-26T12:48:26.473" LastActivityDate="2017-02-15T08:16:52.297" Title="How to keep a baby cool in summer without air conditioning?" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4708" CreationDate="2012-04-04T09:57:10.537" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2-year old is still sleeping in a crib, but we have bought a big bed which is ready in his room. Sometimes when he wakes up in the night for some reason, one of us go into his room and sleeps in the big bed, and then he stops crying and eventually goes to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastActivityDate="2012-04-04T09:57:10.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4733" CreationDate="2012-04-04T13:41:06.340" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have direct experience with a child becoming so accustomed to sleeping with air conditioning that they were unable to sleep without it, but I know adults who have that problem, so I think it is a very real concern for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is that during the two weeks leading up to your visits to your relatives without A.C., you gradually lower the amount of A.C. you use in your house (or at least the baby's room).  The goal is to have the temperature as high as is safe for a day or two before the trip, with the gradual increase helping ease your child through the transition.  That doesn't mean that you won't face some sleepless nights while visiting your relatives, but at least it gives you a better chance of your daughter falling asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, be very careful about making sure she does not overheat, either while you are gradually increasing the temperature at your home, or while visiting your relatives.  Overheating is very dangerous to an infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you don't swaddle her when you have the temperature raised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.achildbirth.com/Overheating-the-Baby.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;warning signs&lt;/a&gt; frequently:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Red pimples on the cheeks, neck, forehead, head, arms, or legs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Excessive sweating &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wet hair (from sweat)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rapid breathing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Flushed, red skin&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;General restlessness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some suggestions to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/care/newborn/making-baby-comfortable-in-summer-heat/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;help keep your baby comfortable&lt;/a&gt; while sleeping without air conditioning:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick the Right Clothes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you're going to be indoors, dress your infant in loose-fitting, lightweight garments, preferably made from a natural fiber like cotton, which absorbs perspiration better than synthetic fabrics. A good rule of thumb: &quot;Dress the baby the way you're dressed,&quot; Dr. Epstein says. &quot;If you're wearing shorts and a T-shirt, that will be fine for her too.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Provide Good Ventilation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Since a baby doesn't perspire effectively, he can become overheated&#xA;  far more quickly than an adult. That's why you should never leave an&#xA;  infant in a hot room or a parked car. Even a few minutes could cause&#xA;  his temperature to spike and, in extreme cases, may prove&#xA;  life-threatening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep Him Hydrated&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Even if you don't see beads of sweat dripping from your infant's&#xA;  forehead, he can be losing precious fluids to perspiration in hot&#xA;  weather. A flushed face, skin that's warm to the touch, rapid&#xA;  breathing, and restlessness may be warning signs of dehydration. Since&#xA;  infants under 6 months shouldn't drink water (babies over 6 months can&#xA;  take in modest amounts), replace the lost liquids by giving him extra&#xA;  formula or by nursing more frequently. Babies should drink at least 50&#xA;  percent more than usual in the summer (normal fluid intake is at least&#xA;  two ounces per pound per day), so a ten-pound baby who usually takes&#xA;  in 20 ounces should be offered a minimum of 30 ounces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2017-02-15T08:16:52.297" LastActivityDate="2017-02-15T08:16:52.297" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4737" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4742" CreationDate="2012-04-04T16:31:53.977" Score="8" ViewCount="19623" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we find shoes we like on a big discount, is it a good idea to buy a few sizes up at a time (like sizes 7, 8, and 9 all at once)? Or is there enough overlap in sizing that our toddler might move directly from size 7 to size 9, skipping over size 8 as her feet grow?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="667" LastActivityDate="2018-03-26T01:13:56.280" Title="Do toddlers need every size of shoe?" Tags="|toddler|clothes|growth|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4737" CreationDate="2012-04-04T16:45:53.103" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found that my kids were not great at telling me when shoes were to small and I did find that they made big jumps, so I wouldn't buy all the sizes together.  I also found that Target and Costco often have sales on shoes for young ones, so I wouldn't worry about not being able to find shoes when needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also pass down shoes through children.  As they get bigger they get worn out and can't be passed down, but at that age save them for the next one!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-04-04T16:45:53.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4739" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-04T16:51:39.710" Score="10" ViewCount="9584" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am taking four children ages 2,3,4, and 8 on a 4+ hour plane ride.  Ideas for entertaining them WITHOUT plugging them in for the entire time would be much appreciated.  We have the basics, crayons, coloring books, playdough, but what else can we do to keep the whining to a minimum?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-14T10:53:07.597" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T07:06:02.483" Title="Plane activities for little ones" Tags="|toddler|travel|play|flying|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4552" CreationDate="2012-04-04T19:43:53.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree, call the company and ask.  It's important to follow the rules of your seat as stated in the manual, as that's how it has passed testing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option would be to look at other seats.  I know the The First Years True FIt allows a 30 - 45 degree angle rear facing.  The Diono Radians also allow more upright positions and sell an option angle adjuster to accomplish this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2468" LastActivityDate="2012-04-04T19:43:53.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4739" CreationDate="2012-04-05T01:46:55.120" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that snacks are a must.  I would also definitely recommend gum (for the older one) and a sippy cup for the younger ones to help their ears adjust during takeoff and landing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they have any favorite animals or blankets, those might be obvious choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also let them help with the packing.  Give them a small bag (or whatever amount of stuff is reasonably carried) and let them decide what to put in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another suggestion is to have a few brand new items in your bag to take out mid flight.  They could be as simple as happy meal toys, but the newness will keep their attention for a while.  This might be too much trouble, but you could wrap the new things up fancy, just to eat up a few extra minutes with the guessing what it is and unwrapping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T01:46:55.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4737" CreationDate="2012-04-05T02:36:11.220" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would only purchase what is needed now, for a number of reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The rate of a child's growth is not linear.  The child might take stay at size 5 for 8 months then be at size 8 2 months later. Or the feet might not grow but the child gets taller.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What you like now you (or the child) might not like in 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My home had far too much kid stuff already, without stocking up on this kind of stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If it is on sale today, it will be on sale again later.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T02:36:11.220" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4739" CreationDate="2012-04-05T04:05:20.113" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know how into books your oldest one is, but it might be time to start a new book or book series ;-) if he/she is into that sort of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also...if your kids are at all prone to motion sickness, make sure you take some dramamine or something to help with that.  As an added benefit, dramamine makes most people drowsy.  I'm not advocating drugging your kids to survive the trip, but if motion sickness is an issue anyway, it's a nice side effect to have in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have traveled on a planee twice with our son (shortish flights--about an hour and ahalf--when he was 2 and 3), and once with our daughter (at around 16 months).  We have found that the younger the child, the more &quot;stuff&quot; you need to keep them entertained.  If they've never flown before (or even if they have), looking out the window alone is pretty good entertainment for a little while (I wouldn't count on more than 10 minutes or so though and if it's dark outside then that's pretty well shot, too).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you don't want to plug them in the whole time, but certainly throw a dvd or video game or something in there in case you are absolutely at your wits end.  Especially if you get stuck out on a tarmac or in a holding pattern or your flight gets delayed or any of those other annoying contingencies that seem to happen when traveling by air.  Last time we flew (Christmas), our flight out of Atlanta was delayed for 3(!) hours.  Hartsfield may be the busiest airport in the world, but it's still just an airport and the concourse gets boring after about an hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did find this website that I wish I'd found earlier when we traveled called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.deliciousbaby.com/products/travel-toys/&quot;&gt;DeliciousBaby&lt;/a&gt; and they've got some good lists of toys/games/activities for kids on planes broken down into age groups, fortunately there are several items on the lists that can cross-over between age groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I agree with Rachel.  Give the kids a small bag and let them pick some of the stuff to take with them--well, certainly your oldest.  You never know what a 2-year-old is going to pack...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope all goes well for you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T04:05:20.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4737" CreationDate="2012-04-05T04:07:22.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found excellent deals on toddler shoes at consignment stores.  I just got 2 pairs fo Stride Rite shoes (one looked new, the other slightly used) for $6.50 total.  There are great deals to be found all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find a REALLY great deal on some really basic shoes that can be worn year round, I'd buy several sizes up.  I'd only recommend this if you know it's a good shoe (maybe a brand you've bought before), and it's a good enough deal that you'll still feel like it's a good deal if your child never wears one of the sizes.  Although, I think having the shoes sitting in the drawer might make you move up sizes more readily than if that involved going shopping for new shoes, so this might help you avoid skipping sizes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T04:07:22.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4423" CreationDate="2012-04-05T05:23:45.490" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know how much this advice will change between a one and two year old, but if the command is something that I can physically make him do, I simply pick him up and make him do it after telling him sternly.  If I tell him to come here, and he ignores me, I walk over to him, pick him up and carry him back to me.  If I tell him to put up his toothbrush, but he keeps playing with it, I pick him up, carry him to the drawer, and take the toothbrush from his hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will obviously not work in all situations, but it is helpful in some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T05:23:45.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4746" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5497" CreationDate="2012-04-05T05:30:59.973" Score="10" ViewCount="40885" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby boy is just 12 months, but walks really well and prefers to walk.  When we are at the grocery store or somewhere we need to go from Point A to Point B, sometimes he doesn't want to go where I want to go.  If I try to lead him by the hand, he throws himself to the ground.  If I try to carry him, he screams and throws a fit.  I usually either let him wander around a bit, if the situation permits, or carry him screaming through the store ignoring his fit until he stops.  Since I can't usually let him lead the way, any advice on how to get him to walk happily by my side?  Sometimes letting him push the cart in the store works for a while.  Is this expecting too much from a 12 month old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-04-05T07:00:33.660" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T23:03:31.917" Title="How do I get a young toddler to walk holding my hand?" Tags="|toddler|tantrums|walking|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3374" CreationDate="2012-04-05T05:39:53.630" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As @tomjedrz said, they do go from being baby carriers to stuff carriers and are always useful in that regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, all babies are very different.  I have a one year old who has never been one for riding in a stroller much.  He wants to be up where he can see things, and now that he's walking, wants to walk for himself.  I still use mine occasionally, but for something like a trip to the mall, I'd just end up trying to hold his hand and push the stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, my Mom used her double stroller for my nieces pretty consistently until the older one was about 5.  She'd get out and walk, but then she'd have a place to sit and rest when she got tired and the rest of us were still on the move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think even with as infrequently as we use the stroller, it is convenient enough when we do use it that I will get a double stroller when baby #2 is born.  (Baby #1 will be 18 months then.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T05:39:53.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2347" CreationDate="2012-04-05T05:55:09.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recommend fewer, longer stops instead of short, frequent stops.  I have routinely driven 6 hours each way with my son to visit family.  I've learned that he does better, and we can usually make it with 1 stop or 2 if we stop and eat and play for a while.  Usually the stop takes about an hour, but then we have an easier time in the car for a longer time than after a quick stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The time of day is also important, and I've found early morning to mid afternoon fits really well for us.  We leave before he would normally wake up.  Then we stop for breakfast and play, usually after about 3 hours of driving.  When we get back on the road, he plays for a while and takes a morning nap.  He is usually a happy kid anyways during the mornings and early afternoon, so that helps.  We've tried driving in the late afternoon and evening, but that is his usual cranky time, and it's even worse in a car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, even though it won't help the original poster, for others looking for toddler road trip tips, I highly recommend a portble DVD player with some Baby Einstein type videos.  They play classical music and show kid-friendly visuals liek toys, animals, and nature.  They are much less annoying to the adults in the car than most kid shows. (I'm thinking of a big purple dinasour.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T05:55:09.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4746" CreationDate="2012-04-05T10:37:02.807" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;At twelve months we put ours in the trolley seat - in fact even up to about 3 or 4 years old, as you really don't want the little ones tripping up shoppers with heavy bags etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, when we did walk with them we would just say &quot;holding hands or we need to carry you&quot; and positively reinforcing that meant that pretty early on they would come to us to hold hands without being asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a very good thing to encourage in all busy spaces or near roads, steps etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T10:37:02.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4583" CreationDate="2012-04-05T12:41:54.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as I can see, everyone so far has followed you in assuming that your daughter is the problem, and not the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Easter school holidays are coming up (I guess). Have you got some time off work (if you work)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could you do some chilling out with your daughter? Get her really relaxed. Help her to forget school, forget all those things she's no good at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, try and work some of that abstract 'learning' stuff into everyday life. Sing along to some of her favourite songs together. See if she can beat you at remembering the words. Get her to help you put a shopping list together, once you're in the shop, she has the list and tells you what to get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go out somewhere amazing she's never been, or to see a film she wants to see. At bedtime, hold her, ask her if she had a nice time, see how much she can tell you about her day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;In other words...&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before writing your daughter off as 'broken', and before trying to get someone to 'fix' her, please try to work out &lt;em&gt;yourself&lt;/em&gt; just how bad it really is. Trust yourself to know your child well enough to be able to work out exactly what the problem is. &lt;em&gt;Only then&lt;/em&gt; go find an appropriate specialist to help you with the problem. Don't trust a specialist to tell you if there is a problem in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the symptoms you describe in your question could just be down to her hating school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T12:41:54.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4746" CreationDate="2012-04-05T12:47:11.470" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to communicate to him that he has 2 choices. The first choice is to hold your hand. The second will depend on the situation and your own feelings, but something like: sit in the cart; sit on a naughty step; be carried (kicking and screaming!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get a tantrum then you need to ignore him or you'll encourage the behaviour. Additionally you can offer that when he behaves he'll get something (i.e. sweets?). In order to combine these two you must only make the offer at the beginning and then ignore the bad behaviour. You need to be strong if in a public place!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him have free-choice of what to do when he's playing - this he may particularly enjoy if you're playing with him and following his lead. In a public place isn't really the place for him to be taking the lead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T12:47:11.470" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4746" CreationDate="2012-04-05T13:40:27.237" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way we have been handling it is that we don't present him with a choice in the matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we're not in a hurry, we let him walk while holding his hand.  However, if he starts heading in a direction that isn't where we want/need to go, we limit ourselves to very light tugs on his hand to indicate without pressuring him if he resists, coupled with verbal encouragement (e.g. a light tug or two while we say &quot;come on, we need to go this way... over here!&quot; in a positive and encouraging tone).  Sometimes he will stand there for a minute or two before he heads the right way.  Sometimes he will head in a different direction, which we will allow as long as it is somewhere safe.  However, he has to hold our hand at all times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he pulls his hand away from ours, we take his hand again.  If he insists on pulling his hand away repeatedly, we simply pick him up without saying anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he refuses to go in the direction we want him to, we simply pick him up without saying anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we're in a hurry, we either pick him up, or put him in a stroller (whichever is more appropriate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the trick to this is to make sure he has plenty of opportunities for wandering at his own pace, in the directions he wants to go, without making a big deal of the times when you need to go somewhere specific and have to pick him up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T13:40:27.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4737" CreationDate="2012-04-05T21:12:51.410" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Realistically, toddlers will not need every size of shoe. The difference between whole numbered sizes is only 1/3 inch, and half-sizes are only 1/6 of an inch different, so little you might not even notice the difference, especially depending on the type and fit of the shoe, one of the reasons some shoes (eg: flip flops, crocs, rain boots, etc) are often manufactured at size intervals greater than a whole size (eg: sizes available are 5/6, 7/8, 9/10). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the space you are supposed to leave in the toe of the shoe for the foot to move, by the time you realize the shoe is too small and hard to get on, it is likely the jump to the proper size will be at least a full size, if not more, especially if you try to get the largest shoe your child can walk comfortably in without tripping or stumbling to maximize the shoe's longevity when you get new shoes. My son is almost 2, and so far on average he has gone up about 1 1/2 sizes each time we need new shoes for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could potentially use shoes of each size, but overall you would end up with more shoes than necessary that way, so whether that would be worthwhile would depend on how good of a deal the shoes are and whether the quality of the shoes is high or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also does not seem like the feet grow linearly over time, but much like height, they do most of their growing in spurts where they grow slowly for some time and then grow quickly for a shorter period of time and so on...so you may find the amount of wear you'd get out of every size would be uneven. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, feet are not always the same size, often one foot will grow slightly faster than the other, and often the feet will be half a size different (which is why you measure both feet!), so there may be some slop room as to which shoe size fits best, and there may be a small range of &quot;those ones fit ok but would get outgrown fast, those fit ideally right now, and those seem slightly loose but will last longer&quot; leading to choice in the ideal next size.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having shoes on hand at various size intervals does have some advantages though. For example, if you child suddenly has a growth spurt, you would not be caught off guard one day by finding the shoes are just so tight they are painful to put on and needs new shoes immediately. You could, instead, pull the bigger shoes out of the closet. However, this also has it's drawbacks that a particular shoe might not be suitable to the season they fit properly. In the summer you might want a sneaker with air-vents on the side to keep the foot cool, or sandals, but in the winter you might want rain-boots, or warmer sneakers with thicker insulation. So if the deal is really unbeatable (eg: size or two up shoes at a consignment sale perhaps), it doesn't hurt to get larger shoes, but if you would feel cheated if you should overlook the window of time those shoes fit, or they fit in the wrong season and you don't get much use out of them, you might wish to pass and just get what fits now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T21:12:51.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4746" CreationDate="2012-04-05T21:22:17.247" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 12 months, even if he is a proficient walker (our son certainly was), expecting him to understand he needs to hold hands and go where you are going is a bit much. They want to explore the world and what fascinates them, they are too young to understand where you are going and why it's so important to go there directly or quickly or ever get there for that matter. Whether the child will contentedly hold your hand and walk is partly a matter of personality and partly a matter of age. At 18 months or so, my son started being more cooperative about being willing to hold hands while walking compared to at 12 months. Other personalities may cooperate younger or older. But even at almost 2, I still frequently have to pick him up and carry him (or buckle him in a cart or stroller), sometimes kicking and screaming, when he is refusing to cooperate about holding hands and walking in the prescribed direction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Balancing freedom and directed travel is about the only thing I've found that seems to increase the ability to cooperate for the directed parts. There's a lot they have the inclination to explore, and having had that satisfied it's easier to sit still or follow without wandering off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-04-05T21:22:17.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4746" CreationDate="2012-04-06T05:38:00.653" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, you need to deal with the tantrums. They are a separate issue, and should be dealt with with strength and courage. There are good answers to some tantrum questions &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3976/1004&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1713/1004&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3024/1004&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the issue of getting the child to hold your hand, the idea is &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3094/1004&quot;&gt;compliance&lt;/a&gt;. Getting the child to hold your hand is no different than getting the child to listen to any other direction from you. Give the command, and apply consequences if it isn't obeyed. It is SIMPLE in concept, but often very difficult in practice.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I would get a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/4569/1004&quot;&gt;harness&lt;/a&gt;. In crowded areas holding the hand is not good enough, as it is too easy for the child to slip away. When my 19 year old was a toddler we used one in amusement parks, baseball games, swap meets and other crowded areas. The peace of mind was priceless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take heart, be strong, and good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-04-06T05:38:00.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4760" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-07T06:03:43.200" Score="14" ViewCount="2731" Body="&lt;p&gt;My adult step-daughter is in a same sex relationship.  I love her and support her decision, if this makes her happy.  I'm neither pro or against homosexuality ... actually, I'm not even neutral, I'm indifferent to the same-sex lifestyle choice ... almost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her partner is more of a man than most of the men she's dated, and is hard not to like.  Also, my grandchild is very young and calls this person 'papa', which I didn't care for, but  ... ok ... whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, my son, who is now 10, has known this person for years, and thinks she's a man.  My son is not stupid, is going to figure it out soon, assuming his friends don't figure it out first ... which I don't expect will go well for my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need to tell my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I should point out that when I said I'm 'indifferent' 'almost', I meant; I don't care if somebody chooses to be in a same-sex relationship, and if my child one day tells me they're gay, as my step-daughter has, I will still love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But having said that, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I don't consider it normal&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; and I &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;don't want to encourage it in anyway&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a nut shell, this situation is pushing this conversation on me a lot earlier than I feel is appropriate, while at the same time is long over due (we assumed it was temporary and we'd never have to deal with).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So does anybody have any advice on telling my 10 year old son this 'man' is actually a woman?  And how can I tell him without him hating his sister, her partner, or thinking this is completely normal, and should explore homosexuality for himself when he's a teenager.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But before you answer, please keep my value system in mind.  Anti/Pro gay comments aren't going to help me at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also since I'm posting anonymously and can't vote, edit, or accept, I just wanted to thank you in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2478" LastEditorUserId="2829" LastEditDate="2013-01-17T22:12:13.087" LastActivityDate="2021-01-30T23:49:34.733" Title="How to tell my son (10yo), somebody he knows as a man, is actually a woman?" Tags="|age-appropriate|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4761" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4762" CreationDate="2012-04-07T08:37:32.990" Score="9" ViewCount="739" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an adult I realize I am not perfect. I have my &quot;glitches&quot;. One of them is that I am too shy and an introvert to people that I do not know well (somewhat extrovert to friends and family). Would I not want to be too shy? Yes. I think that in some situations I could have acted in a better way and maybe had more friends (although the ones I have are really close) or felt less awkward in unknown places with unknown people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put it in different words, if I ever had the chance to go back in my life and try to change something in my behavior, shyness would be the first thing to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4.5 year old daughter is shy and a bit of a an introvert. And my question is, having realized that &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; would like to be less shy and less introvert, Should I try to talk my daughter into that direction? Will I succeed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1666" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T09:49:48.357" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T01:13:18.917" Title="Should I try and prevent my child from becoming like me (in some aspects)?" Tags="|behavior|parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4761" CreationDate="2012-04-07T11:46:52.100" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Turn the question around. What would your adult person now wish your parents had done differently to you when you were growing up? Should they have steered you more away from shyness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody is perfect. If consider your major flaw being shy, personally I would be open to discuss that with my child and tell them about the advantages and disadvantages, but also stress that it's OK to be shy, just as it's OK to be gay or not like country music. As long as you're happy, you can choose to live however you want, but each choice has it's consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask yourself: what if you can't change your child away from shyness? Would you rather it feel accepted by you, however shy they are, or they feel pushed to be less shy, less the way they are?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1060" LastActivityDate="2012-04-07T11:46:52.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4761" CreationDate="2012-04-07T17:17:57.283" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's always a battle between those that feel children should be allowed to develop as they are suited, and those that feel they should be steered into some believed correct path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find that most people who were forced to take music lessons, for instance, later in life appreciate it.  Even if they hated it at the time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children only know what we expose them to.  More than likely, she knows how to be shy based on observing your behavior (or that of your wifes).  At 4.5, this may already be very firmly set into her behavioral patterns.  Changing that behavior takes time, practice, and more importantly, reinforcement at home.  Enrolling your child in various group activities that require interaction with strangers can help (think public speaking, beauty pagents, etc.. but god help me i'm not recommended beauty pagents, they have their own set of problems).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be very hard to reinforce behaviors at home when you don't exhibit them yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you have to observe how your child reacts to putting them in public situations where they are not allowed to be shy.  Forcing them to do something like that can be traumatizing if pushed too hard.  But children are nothing if not resilient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-07T17:17:57.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2012-04-07T22:59:55.650" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The rate skin develops a rash is in direct proportion to the acidic level of the feces. It's the mixture of water and acid that causes skin irritation. So if the baby is having solid and dryer movements, then you can wait, but wet material or anything that might be caused by diarrhea needs to be changed immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The faster the food flows thru the bowls the higher it's acidic level. This can be caused by diet, illness or fatigue. When a rash develops it's often because of this problem, and the simple contact of feces is enough to worsen the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my advise is what I did with my daughter. The two finger test. If it feels wet then it needs to be changed, but it your fingers come back dry you can let it lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2012-04-07T22:59:55.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4765" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4775" CreationDate="2012-04-07T23:57:07.560" Score="5" ViewCount="5200" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lately I've been hearing some of my friends talking about the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rapleyweaning.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rapley method&lt;/a&gt; of introducing solid food to your child, skipping the &quot;mashed food&quot; phase almost completely. They claim mashed food is unnatural and most of it nowadays is marketing anyway, to get us to buy prepared bottles and food processors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the advantages and disadvantages of the Rapley Method? Will a child have enough food and variation by eating directly solids? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;New link: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyledweaning.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.babyledweaning.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1060" LastEditorUserId="1060" LastEditDate="2017-01-12T07:39:13.790" LastActivityDate="2017-01-12T07:39:13.790" Title="What are the advantages and disadvantages of BLW (Baby-led-weaning) aka the Rapley method?" Tags="|toddler|food|baby-led-weaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4767" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-08T12:23:56.610" Score="5" ViewCount="177" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 (almost 6) year old daughter has started doing things that she knows are wrong when friends are over. From what I can tell, it's not the friends who are instigating the bad behavior, it's my daughter. Unfortunately, I am not finding out about the mischief until well after the fact,  so I feel like any punishment (loss of play dates or time outs) is too removed from the action to be any sort of real lesson. Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2481" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2012-04-08T17:21:46.410" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T13:55:53.330" Title="Addressing bad behavior after the fact" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4767" CreationDate="2012-04-08T16:29:18.620" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason for delivering instant punishment is that very small children need immediate feedback on their actions. For toddlers it's important to have instant feedback because they simply can't grasp the connection to what &#xA;happened hours ago -- but pre- or primary-schoolers certainly can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my untrained opinion (my son is still a toddler), &lt;strong&gt;instant feedback no longer applies to a six-year-old&lt;/strong&gt; because at that age, she knows what she is allowed to do and she probably also knows the consequences of breaking the house rules. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because I think she can still remember having done it when you discover her mischief a few hours later, I see nothing wrong with &lt;strong&gt;delivering the appropriate punishment immediately upon  discovery.&lt;/strong&gt; She should know (or will quickly learn!) that appropriate punishment comes when she's found out, even if it's a while later. (Define &lt;em&gt;&quot;a while&quot;&lt;/em&gt; any way you like; hours or days.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to add a  bonus punishment  for knowingly disobeying when you're not around, to emphasize that your house rules &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; apply regardless whether parents are around or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-04-08T16:29:18.620" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4769" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-09T02:33:36.200" Score="16" ViewCount="920" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's a good sorted list of potential causes to check when my baby cries and I don't know why? I need something I can print out in advance because I can't think very clearly once the crying starts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2482" LastActivityDate="2017-03-08T11:02:05.367" Title="Why is my baby crying?" Tags="|crying|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4769" CreationDate="2012-04-09T02:42:24.350" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on a list I made and kept as a poster over the crib:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hungry/Thirsty&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diaper wet/dirty/tight&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unswaddled newborn&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teething&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gas pain&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reflux&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Too cold/hot&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lonely&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bored&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tired&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rash&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hurt self&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fear of dark&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Too much light/noise during sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Startled&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Strangeness in environment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Missing toy or other object&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Foreign object on skin&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hair-snared digits&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2482" LastEditorUserId="2482" LastEditDate="2012-04-28T13:13:20.247" LastActivityDate="2012-04-28T13:13:20.247" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2012-04-09T10:25:04.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I change it as soon as practical (immediately, if possible) after detecting that it's wet or dirty.  It sends the signal that wet or dirty diapers aren't normal.  It helps with potty training later, as the child won't be happy with a mess in his/her pants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for nighttime procedures, that's a judgement call.  You have to balance the importance of your sleep, the child's sleep, and the child's discomfort.  Usually, I'll change it if the child is squirming around uncomfortably.  Also, if the child wakes up at night and is crying anyway, I'll use that opportunity to take him/her to the bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2012-04-09T10:25:04.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4760" CreationDate="2012-04-09T10:40:34.327" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let your step-daughter and her partner take care of it.  They will probably be better at explaining the situation than you.  If your son has questions after that, answer them as briefly and as non-judgementally as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2012-04-09T10:40:34.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4769" CreationDate="2012-04-09T11:18:23.647" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a healthy baby, I like to keep things simple, so &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hungry &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dirty Nappy/Diaper&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wind&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tired&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This allows a simple set of rules to be followed to sort the problem.  My response to crying is always&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&#xA;Does she need fed  --&gt; Yes  --&gt; Feed&#xA;| &#xA;| &#xA;V&#xA;No --&gt; Is her nappy dirty  --&gt; Yes  --&gt; Change&#xA;|&#xA;|&#xA;V&#xA;No --&gt; Is she showing signs of wind (knees to chest, red face) --&gt; Yes --&gt; Wind her&#xA;|&#xA;|&#xA;V&#xA;No --&gt; Is she tired --&gt; Yes --&gt; Help her get to sleep&#xA;|&#xA;|&#xA;V&#xA;If newborn then shouldn't have got here.  &#xA;If older, then then requires attention, cuddles, play etc. &#xA;&#xA;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="910" LastActivityDate="2012-04-09T11:18:23.647" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4760" CreationDate="2012-04-09T12:49:38.403" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just be honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you're requesting an answer that supports your personal value system, and only you really know all the details of what that value system is, the best advice I can give you is simply to tell your son what you believe.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell your son that &quot;he&quot; is really a &quot;she&quot; in a matter-of-fact tone, and don't say any more.  Your son will almost certainly ask questions, and lead the direction of the following discussion.  Answer him honestly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son isn't asking enough questions, you can repeat the important pieces of background information you wrote in your question above.  Mention that you love your step-daughter, and support her decisions.  Tell your son that you like her partner.  But also explain that you don't consider it normal, and that you don't want to encourage it, and explain &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mention why you felt the need to tell your son why you were hesitant to discuss this with him, and also why you couldn't put it off any longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of all, tell your son that you will still love him no matter what decisions he makes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-04-09T12:49:38.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4765" CreationDate="2012-04-09T13:40:48.203" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll start by saying that this is the first time I've heard of the name &quot;Rapley method,&quot; but I did a sort of middle ground between that and spoon feeding (basically, I fed my son mashed food, but was simply his hands until he could do it himself, how much he ate was dictated by him, and the process as a whole was baby-led). Here are some of the advantages/disadvantages to the method that I can think of, based on my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Advantages&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You don't have to sit there and feed baby yourself, allowing you to&#xA;supervise while enjoying your own meal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your baby has full control of how much s/he eats at a sitting, fostering trust in his/her own hunger/full signals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You don't have to deal with taking the time to mash the food, or spend extra money on buying pre-made mashed food.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby is less likely to choke, because s/he is in full control over what goes in his/her mouth, and where it goes. (Note - I found that my son would occasionally &quot;choke&quot; in the sense that some food would start going down his throat before it's chewed up enough or before he was ready to swallow, but he always coughed it up on his own and soon learned how to not choke and what to do if he does.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It encourages following baby's cues for transitioning to solids, which can encourage parents to follow baby for other cues, as well as ensures that the transition to solids is done with the baby is ready, and not by the parents trying to base it on when an article or book says when baby &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; be doing something. (Many people see the milestones as deadlines, and it can be a cause for anxiety in the parents and added pressure on both the parents and the baby.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disadvantages&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Things will be messier at first, as baby learns what to do with these new little things you've put in front of him/her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You will likely waste more food, because baby has decided to mash it into the table, or various other places, especially before s/he realizes it's edible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby may not start on solid food until s/he's a bit older. This means breast/bottle feeding for longer, and possibly more frequently, as baby's needs start to outpace what milk can provide, until baby is at least mostly weaned.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It may delay baby's use of utensils. If you start with finger foods, it may be easy to forget to incorporate foods that require a spoon or fork and doesn't expose him/her to the spoon as early as feeding him/her mashed foods might.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your question on whether a child will have enough food and variation - at first, no, most of his/her nutrition will still come from breast/bottle feeding for a while, until you build the variety, and s/he starts seeing the food as actual food (and not as toys that happen to be edible). It's recommended to introduce new food with a couple of days between introductions (regardless of when you start introducing solids, you just may start a little earlier with mashed foods). This means that, at first, baby will only be familiar with a few foods. This will gradually grow in both number and variety as you introduce foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean that the &quot;solid food&quot; sessions have to be devoid of either nutrition or taste. I found things like blueberries, avocado, bananas, and steamed carrots to be great starter foods. They're soft enough to not require a full set of teeth, and are packed with nutrition and taste. (On a side note, it's been my experience that the old adage of introducing veggies before fruits so they don't &quot;develop a sweet tooth&quot; is a myth, and introducing and re-introducing the foods is what matters most.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to keep in mind is protein - most protein-rich foods aren't introduced until quite a bit later, due to their texture. This means that most of baby's protein will be from the breast/bottle for a while. I didn't find it to be a big deal, but if you're finding that your baby is taking to solids and weaning faster than you can introduce protein-rich foods, it might be something to keep in mind, and some ideas for starter foods of this type include tender and thinly-cut/sliced meats (deli turkey is great, just watch the sodium levels, as is pulled pork), cheeses, yogurts (once they're old enough to consume dairy products), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you've done baby-led feeding with breast or bottle, baby should keep that habit into solid foods, so you shouldn't have to worry about him/her eating enough, as long as s/he can eat when s/he indicates that s/he's hungry and is allowed to stop when s/he indicates that s/he's full. Learning sign language signs for &quot;hungry&quot;/&quot;eat&quot; and &quot;all done&quot; can help with communication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-04-09T13:40:48.203" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4767" CreationDate="2012-04-09T19:22:15.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Also, allow the natural consequences to be apparent.  The next time you set up a playdate with that child and they are unavailable, your child will almost invariably ask &quot;Why can't the come over?&quot;  My response would be somewhere along the lines of &quot;Maybe her mother doesn't want her to come over here because she was picking up bad habits.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-04-09T19:22:15.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4778" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-09T20:36:37.680" Score="6" ViewCount="1692" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby is due in late June, and we hope to continue our normal habit of light day hikes (&amp;lt;4 miles, no major elevation changes) with her later in the summer and into early fall. Does it make sense to carry her in a front baby carrier, or should we look for a carseat carrier which will fit the offroad stroller we already purchased? The stroller warns it cannot be used without an infant carrier until baby is 6 months old.&#xA;We'd like to just use the front baby carrier, and switch off between Mom &amp;amp; Dad if one of us gets tired, but need to know if this is practical or not... thank you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2484" LastActivityDate="2022-07-27T10:00:58.610" Title="Light Day-Hiking with Newborn-- baby carrier or offroad stroller?" Tags="|newborn|outdoor|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4778" CreationDate="2012-04-09T21:09:47.280" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you already have purchased the baby carrier, or were going to purchase it anyway - I'd try out the baby carrier first. If you deem that it does not work for you, then you can look into purchasing a car seat that fits in your off-road stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a baby carrier, you are not as restricted by the terrain or small spaces. However, you do have to be a lot more careful with the baby - a slip or a fall could be deadly for the baby. Baby carrier also allows you to easily feed the baby while in the sling. Be careful about not over-dressing the baby. Babies can get very warm from your body heat in a sling. Keep an eye on the baby's temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a baby in a car seat in the stroller, the baby is relatively safe - after all, car seats are designed to sustain the damage of car accidents. You'd have to stop and take out the baby for feeding it. Strollers are more of a nuisance, however, and restrict the spaces you can enter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would think that a baby carrier would be preferred until the baby is a little - but every family is different, and every baby is different. What works for one family, might not work for yours.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-09T21:09:47.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2012-04-10T01:16:58.183" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't say this was an absolute necessity, but I absolutely love having a video baby monitor.  It makes me feel so much better since I can just glance at it and see how baby is doing.  I really use it now (around 6-18 months) a lot more than right after birth since he's sleeping in his own room now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To expand on tnorthcutt's answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diapers — baby may outgrow newborn very quickly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A place for her to sleep — a hammock type sleeper that can go beside your bed is great for the first few months.  After that, you'll need a crib.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carseat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A place to change her diapers — I like having the changing table, but as many others have said, it isn't essential.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Burp rags/receiving towels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby wipes, butt paste, hand sanitizer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clothes — babies grow so fast.  The first size that seemed to last more than a week for us was 3–6 months, but our baby was big.  They will outgrow the newborn sizes fast, so just make sure that you have 6 or so onesies in the small sizes and get more as you need, if you don't get plenty as gifts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pajamas — I recommend looking for pajamas that zip instead of snap.  Trying to match all the snaps down the front and legs of snap pajamas in the middle of the night is no fun.  Also, babies can pretty much live in their pajamas for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A carrier — I liked the Moby Wrap.  It is difficult to figure out, but very comfortable with a little one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't have a church or other group or family planning to brign you meals, I would start stashing restaurant gift cards to get to-go meals.  Or start pre-cooking casseroles that you can just stick in the oven.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2013-12-27T13:58:02.797" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T13:58:02.797" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-04-10T01:16:58.183" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2338" CreationDate="2012-04-10T01:32:36.633" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I won't say that having a baby isn't expensive, but you might end up cutting back on some things that you are spending on now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eating out&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;My husband and I go out to eat a lot less.  It is simply easier to fix something at home than to take baby out.  His bedtime is around 7:00, so he gets cranky around dinner time.  We do still go out some, but much less often.  Now a date night might be ice cream after baby is asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Alcohol&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Drinks are expensive, and for 9 months (plus breastfeeding time if going that route) there will be no money spent on alcohol.  Well, at least, the mom will be saving on this, and some dads give it up to be nice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shopping trips&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Getting in and out of the store before the baby gets fussy becomes important.  I think the less time I spend in the store, the less likely I am to buy things I don't need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;General entertainment&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Watching the baby becomes the entertainment for the evening, and I don't mean that in a bad way.  Babies are wonderfully funny.  Playing peek-a-boo is completely free and fun when your baby is laughing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Budgeting&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;If you're not already watching your finances carefully, having a little person completely dependant on you, will make you think twice about whether or not you really need something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T01:32:36.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4782" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-10T02:11:04.103" Score="3" ViewCount="4026" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what point (age or developmental stage) can a child reasonably be expected to use a fork or spoon?  I'm asking mostly about physical ability to control the fork/spoon mostly enough to use the utensil independently (put the food on and get it to the mouth).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T09:45:15.550" Title="At what age do kids start using eating utensils successfully?" Tags="|development|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4778" CreationDate="2012-04-10T06:19:37.980" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The front baby carrier is very hard for your back, but seem to be nicer for baby's neck... We had a carrier that could be switched from front to back position, that was very useful. I would buy a carrier in any case because even if you don't use during hiking, it will be useful when baby is crying: they love it and get asleep very fast in this position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T06:19:37.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4782" CreationDate="2012-04-10T09:45:15.550" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had ours using the plastic angled spoons and forks from just after a year. Initially this is a very messy game to play, but letting them start early helps them pick up this essential skill quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will work best with yoghurts, cereal, mashed up foods in sauce etc, but we found they also enjoyed trying to pick up spaghetti with a fork (not short bits - full length strands :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using a knife successfully comes a lot later - I seem to remember them all being over three years old before they got this sorted fully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T09:45:15.550" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4785" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4814" CreationDate="2012-04-10T11:22:47.810" Score="4" ViewCount="3522" Body="&lt;p&gt;As one of the methods I use to distract my wee fella when we are changing him etc is that I give him my mobile (cell) phone.  He immediately puts it in his mouth and it keeps him entertained for the period I need him to be.  I then take it off him as I'm a bit concerned it's not good for his health.  It's just it works so well!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't exactly read any articles on whether mobile phones are dangerous for kids but just wondering if anyone knows or has been told that they are bad?  I hope I'm not giving him something even for a few minutes that will have an adverse effect later on in his life! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2455" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-04-11T14:03:21.523" LastActivityDate="2012-04-12T20:40:14.017" Title="Is giving my toddler a mobile phone to chew on bad for his health" Tags="|toddler|safety|cellphone|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2338" CreationDate="2012-04-10T11:43:27.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This will depend HUGELY on the country you live in. I've raised kids in Germany and the US: Germany gives you a lot of parental time off, federal subsidies (Kindergeld), mostly free health care, free schools, and easy (although not cheap) access to all things organic and environmentally friendly. Housing can be a bit of a problem since space comes at a hefty premium, especially in urban areas. College is essentially free (maybe 1000 Euro/year) and you can even get federal cost-of-living grants (BAfoeG).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In US there is no direct subsidy (other than tax exemptions), day care is expensive, public schools are free but of fairly varied quality. Shopping is great in the US and thrift stores and &quot;freecycle&quot; are excellent sources of good low-cost kids stuff. It's much more common to own your own house, which is great (and cost effective) with kids. In the US the big financial killer is college/university. It is insanely expensive. Average total cost (after financial aid) is around 20.000 US dollar per year for a public school and $35.000 US for a private school. Another potential financial pitfall in the US are health insurance. If you have good (= EXPENSIVE) health insurance with your employer, you should be all set. Having only mediocre or no insurance and a kid with a significant medical issue is a real problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raising kids on Europe is much cheaper than in the US, but even in the US it's worth every penny!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2486" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T11:43:27.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4739" CreationDate="2012-04-10T11:53:44.667" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though I always start with non-electronic activities, I make sure to keep a few tucked into my bag as a backup. There is nothing more miserable than realizing they've run through everything you packed them, and that there are three hours left in this stupid flight. Also, don't forget, you could have your flight delayed, and that one hour space before the flight could turn into four.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for non-electronic toys, I've found keeping things as multipurpose as possible works well. I take paper pads rather than coloring books, books that can be read or just looked at (like Where's Waldo). Specifically, here's some things I've packed that have worked really well:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Where's Waldo (big, but perfect for more than one kid to look over)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Paper tablets (one per kid) and a box of 24 crayons (one per kid)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Snacks (no, they're not a toy, but they take time to consume)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Magazines that are age appropriate &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Playing cards (best game to teach the kids for a plane trip: Blackjack. It's easier to hide your cards)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once I'm at the airport, each kiddo gets to pick out one thing from the airport shop to add to their pile of goodies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, please consider giving every child their own seat, even if they technically could be in your lap. A woman did this on a three hour flight with her two year old, and it was miserable on her, the child, and her seat-mates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;// mother of a ten and four year old&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1454" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T11:53:44.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4788" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-10T12:22:26.340" Score="27" ViewCount="11137" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can anyone explain to me the reason why parents tend to refer to themselves in the third person, when talking to their young children?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g.:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Hold &lt;strong&gt;Daddy's&lt;/strong&gt; hand while we cross the road&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;as opposed to &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Hold &lt;strong&gt;my&lt;/strong&gt; hand while we cross the road&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there any real benefit in this?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1695" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-04-13T07:13:22.823" LastActivityDate="2018-02-14T09:43:40.187" Title="Why do parents refer to themselves in the third person?" Tags="|language|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4788" CreationDate="2012-04-10T13:16:30.383" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Because &quot;you&quot; doesn't uniquely identify me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents want to teach their kids &quot;dada&quot; and &quot;mama&quot; and other subjects. Using &quot;my&quot; doesn't help with that. Similarly, parents will also say &quot;Sasha hold mummy's hand&quot; (Sasha being the baby) - this is to emphasize to the baby that her name is Sasha. If instead of using that language, I say &quot;You hold my hand&quot; - she might begin referring to herself as &quot;You wants wa-wa!&quot; &quot;You wants my!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nouns are a lot less confusing than pronouns. However, once the child is able to understand nouns, parents should/do gradually move onto using more pronouns....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T13:16:30.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4788" CreationDate="2012-04-10T13:22:00.377" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's all about language acquisition.  The concept of pronouns is a little advanced for a 9-month-old who is only vaguely grasping the concept that everything has a name to begin with.  When I refer to myself as &quot;Mommy&quot; to my daughter, it reinforces to her 1) who I am and 2) that I have a name just like everything else.  While its initial use is for language development and acquisition, it does sort of eventually become a habit--especially if you have children born back-to-back.  My son is pretty advanced verbally and, at age 4, certainly has mastered pronouns, but now my daughter is learning to talk so my husband and I never really got out of the habit of referring to ourselves in the third person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly there are parents out there who &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; refer to themselves in the third-person and their child eventually sort out the difference between common nouns and pronouns, so I don't know if there's any evidence to suggest that it advances your baby's language development any faster, but I think many parents do it naturally without even really thinking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T13:22:00.377" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4791" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4800" CreationDate="2012-04-10T14:46:10.107" Score="13" ViewCount="168418" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've just had a new arrival- a little boy, now 7 days old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the day he sleeps like a dream. As I write this, he has been asleep for around 4 hours without really stirring at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only trouble is that he does not do this at all at night. When it gets to about 9pm, suddenly he becomes a different child! He drinks his bottle as normal, but then will not settle, wriggling around uncomfortably and then screaming whenever he is put down. Last night this carried on continuously until 4.30am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We suspect it may be colic. (He's our second child, and our first suffered with it too.) But if so I cannot understand why it only happens at night and not during the day. Perhaps if we knew, we could try to somehow reproduce the daytime circumstances at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's in the same cradle in day and night. He's clothed the same, with the same blanket. We've tried leaving a light on, and playing some white-noise. But none of these seem to make a difference. Any suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastActivityDate="2020-06-22T04:30:48.863" Title="How can we get our newborn to sleep at night as soundly as he does in the day?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4792" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4809" CreationDate="2012-04-10T15:10:58.483" Score="16" ViewCount="124913" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4708/advice-for-carrying-out-the-stay-in-bed-technique-with-our-2-year-old&quot;&gt;posted here before&lt;/a&gt; asking for advice for getting our toddler (2 yrs 5 mths) to sleep, as he's going through a very difficult phase. Once put to bed, he constantly gets out of bed and/or screams. Falling asleep generally takes at least an hour and is very stressful, and unless I sleep in the room with him, he generally wakes and cries out for me every couple of hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did carry out Supernanny's &quot;Stay in Bed&quot; technique. But after 3 weeks of following it to the letter it became apparent that this was not the solution. He was still needing to be put back 40 or 50 times, and had started to see it as a game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, out of desperation, I've started using my own method that I've not heard suggested anywhere, but which seems to be more effective than anything else:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I put my child back in bed a few times when he gets out. Then I tell him that if he gets out of bed again &quot;Daddy's going to go outside and shut the door&quot;. And then- most importantly- carry it out if he does. I only leave the door shut for less than a minute each time, and I stand outside the whole time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also done the same thing to stop him from shouting out, which he will do for minutes or hours on end. &quot;If you shout again Daddy's going to go outside and shut the door&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think this sounds like it could be too traumatic for him? I don't like doing it and it doesn't make me feel good about myself, but the kid's got to sleep. (My wife won't even try it- it's too upsetting for her.) And, as yet, this is the only method that actually gets him lying in his bed quietly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2017-07-27T02:14:03.227" Title="Is it traumatic for a toddler to be left in their bedroom with the door shut?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4788" CreationDate="2012-04-10T15:14:02.073" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not even a conscious thing, at least not for me.  It always irritated me when people did it before I had kids.  Now that I'm a parent of three kids, I find myself doing it.  Not really sure why.  Maybe it has to do with emphasis of authority, as in &quot;I'm not just some random person, I'm DADDY and you need to respect that.&quot;  Maybe, it's a dissassociative thing where you are distancing your self from an unpleasant decision.  &quot;Daddy already told you, no ice cream for breakfast.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T15:14:02.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4778" CreationDate="2012-04-10T15:16:15.190" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend checking out a baby wrap instead of a carrier.  Especially in the infant stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can either get one online (my wife got one &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mobywrap.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and loved it) or make one yourself.  They are pretty easy.  My wife made one out of lighter material for the hot summer months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T15:16:15.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4785" CreationDate="2012-04-10T15:23:00.797" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd be worried about damage to the phone (moisture etc.), but that's not what you're asking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a close look at your phone. Take a close look at your keyboard. All the little corners and cracks and spaces around the buttons are filled with ... dirt.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not want to lick my phone, even though I try to keep my devices reasonably clean. And I wouldn't want my son to do so, either. It might not be &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; harmful because after all toddler eat sand from the playground and survive that too. But it's not a habit I'd like to support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides, you might be (un?)knowingly teaching your toddler that it's okay to put electronic devices in his mouth. What about TV remotes? What about other people's devices he might get his hands on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a black-and-white kind of person, meaning that I think if it's a &lt;em&gt;little&lt;/em&gt; bad then it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; bad and then it &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; be avoided -- within reason of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summary: &lt;em&gt;No, it's not bad for his health&lt;/em&gt; but I'd still not allow it. Find a more suitable distraction for the diaper change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T15:23:00.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4792" CreationDate="2012-04-10T15:49:32.273" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;If closing his door actually gets your son to stay in bed quietly and fall asleep and he's not screaming bloody murder, then it sounds like an appropriate solution to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My youngest child sleeps best when his door is closed, so we just leave it closed all night long.  Our oldest will tantrum for hours if her bedroom door is closed, so it stays open.  Our middle child often doesn't care, but occasionally wants her door one way or the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the important thing is that you break him out of the cycle he's developed.  Once you get him used to a new bedtime rhythm that you both find acceptable, then you can look at perhaps leaving his door open as long as he behaves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other thing to look for is something else during the day you can change to make going to bed easier.  Maybe put him to bed a bit later or a bit earlier.  Skip the last nap, or make sure he gets it.  There may be some relatively low-impact changes you can make in the day to make bedtime smoother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T15:49:32.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4797" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-10T16:22:26.513" Score="12" ViewCount="7100" Body="&lt;p&gt;I end up offering TV time as a reward but he complains so much while practicing, tracks time by calling out every 2 minutes, and practices without respecting the piano or the music (bangs it out). He then gets the TV time but I am so angry and exhausted from dealing with his attitude that even though he gets the reward, he knows I am still mad. So, basically, how do we motivate our kids to learn and develop their talents for their own sake, instead of ours?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2488" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2015-05-04T13:26:15.630" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T18:28:17.767" Title="How do I motivate my 8-year-old to practice the piano regularly?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|activities|motivation|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4797" CreationDate="2012-04-10T17:55:52.653" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, why are you making him take piano? Do you feel he'll gain something from it? Is he naturally good at it, so you want to foster that in him? Are you trying to make him learn it, because that's what you feel society expects? Are you doing it because it's something you enjoy and want to pass that on to him? Additionally, why are &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; being his teacher?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that he doesn't like playing piano, or at the very least, he doesn't like &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; giving him lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If he genuinely likes playing piano.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he likes playing piano, but doesn't like you teaching him (ie - he'll play it on his own, or showed an interest in it previously), then hire a teacher. The student-teacher dynamic is different from a parent-child or spousal relationship, and is and can be often more demanding than the latter two (for example, my basketball coach could yell at me and it wouldn't bother me, but if my parents were to do that, I'd react very differently). If you play piano, and especially if you're good at it, he may also be intimidated by you, and see your skill as big shoes he's expected to fill. If so, then his behavior is his way of channelling and communicating that fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may be more motivated simply because it's not his mom teaching him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, he's starting to get to that age where mom and dad aren't the center of his world, and getting into the age where he wants to assert his independence. He may be feeling like you're smothering him by being his piano teacher. Having someone else take on that role may give him the sense of freedom he's looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another way you can help motivate him is to find shows or competitions that he could participate in. Let him pick the music and instill in him the importance of practicing so that he does a good job. This will give him a sense of purpose to the learning, and a goal to work for, instead of just aimlessly learning a skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can foster his talents in other ways, without being his teacher. Buy him a keyboard, both for the portability, and for the variety. Get him music books with music from his favorite movies, shows, or artists (if you can't afford to hire a teacher, this is probably the next best thing, because it gives him something he can relate to and be proud of; very few 8 year olds can really understand/appreciate the classical greats, and even if your son can, his friends probably won't). Maybe see if you can arrange a meeting with his favorite local musician (or a local musician in general).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If he doesn't like playing piano.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't like playing piano, then it would be a good idea to consider your motivations for trying to force him to learn it. Forcing a child to learn piano when they have no interest is, in my opinion, no different than forcing a child to play sports when they have no interest - it's often done because it's what's expected (&quot;boys don't dance/play piano/cheerlead, they play {insert sport here}&quot;), and not because that's what the child wants to do. Forcing your child to do something like that solely because it's what you believe they &quot;ought&quot; to be doing will do little more than foster a disdain, or even downright loathing, of both you and the activity in question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does he &lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt; like to do? What does he want to try? If you want to foster his talents, then foster &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; talents, and what &lt;em&gt;he's&lt;/em&gt; interested in, not what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; think he &quot;should&quot; be doing. If he's interested in something, it will be significantly easier to motivate him (and if you still have trouble motivating him for the &quot;daily grind&quot; aspect of his chosen activity, most of the above &quot;if he likes it&quot; tips can be modified to suit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning piano teaches discipline, patience, and a respect for art, yes, but so can learning a different instrument, or pottery, or painting, or theater. Things like sports and martial arts can't teach respect for &quot;the arts,&quot; but they can teach discipline, respect for others, and respect for their fields, among other valuable lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit based on comment&lt;/strong&gt; - Since he does say he likes piano, I would work on rewarding him for &lt;em&gt;actual&lt;/em&gt; practice. No more rewarding him for going through the motions and being a bear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, I'd say go with some of the ideas in the &quot;if he likes it&quot; section (keeping the rest for others' sake) for what you can do to foster him (recitals, competitions, supplemental instruments, etc). I would also still take a look at what songs he's playing, and work with him and his teacher to find songs that he'd like to learn. To an 8 year old, being able to play the latest Kelly Clarkson song, or whatever 8 year olds listen to these days (egads, I feel old saying that!), is going to be far more interesting than being able to play Fur Elise. This may be a little more pricey, due to copyright matters, but your teacher might know ways of getting discounts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it's just a time of day that doesn't work well, and he'd be more apt to practice at a different time of day (studies have shown that people's productivity levels go up and down throughout the day in sync with various biological rhythms; and it's been my experience that artists tend to be more finicky about such things, so if he's naturally artistic, then this might be an issue). Try changing the time of his practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you change the practice location? It may also be simply because he's at home, or in the living room, that makes him not want to practice. Having a place set aside specifically for the activity (out of the house, if possible) can help get into the mental state for practicing, increasing focus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, get him involved in the above changes. Work with him to find a time and place to practice, have him pick out the music to work on, etc. Simply being involved in the decision making process can be a huge motivator, and only following top down orders tends to be a big demotivator (the same goes for adults!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastEditorUserId="1155" LastEditDate="2012-04-10T18:40:31.223" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T18:40:31.223" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4792" CreationDate="2012-04-10T18:20:00.937" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are two questions that actually need to be answered here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it traumatic for a toddler's bedroom door to be closed &lt;em&gt;at all&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it traumatic for a toddler's bedroom door to be closed &lt;em&gt;as discipline&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the first one, I say, no, it's not. At two, kids are generally old enough to understand that even though you're not around and they can't get to you right away, you're not &lt;em&gt;gone&lt;/em&gt;. For example, we close my (2 year old) son's bedroom door when he sleeps, and he's just fine. He can't open it yet, so when he needs something, or is ready to get up, he simply knocks on the door until we respond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the second one, I say, no, &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; you're reasonable about it. In my opinion, &quot;reasonable&quot; is going to vary, depending on the behavior. Locking him in his room for an hour because he spilled some water on the floor is unreasonable. Letting him cry in his room for an hour at bedtime as part of sleep training isn't necessarily unreasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the keys I've found with &quot;sleep training&quot; is to learn the difference between a &quot;real&quot; (aka - &quot;I genuinely need something&quot;) cry and a &quot;fake&quot; or tantrum cry. Respond to the real ones, don't respond to the tantrums (for example, when my son throws a tantrum in the day time, my general response is along the lines of &quot;are you finished?&quot;, as I proceed to do my own stuff). You really have to force yourself to not respond in any way to the tantrums, or you'll never get anywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I found that worked to get the message across to stay in bed without feeling like total garbage (I don't think any sane person really &lt;em&gt;likes&lt;/em&gt; locking their child in their room, even if they fully believe it's for the best in the long run), is to be a living wall. Sit at the side of the bed, and any time he tries getting out, as soon as he starts, block him and tell him &quot;no, it's time for bed.&quot; He will still very likely throw a tantrum and it will likely take a while for it to sink in, but I found it to be effective, without as much anxiety over locking him in his room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a side note, what are his eating habits during the day, especially right before going to bed? I found that my son will get up many times, if he's hungry, even if he didn't show an interest in food at dinner time. I've come to the conclusion that he's too distracted during the day to realize he's hungry. Let him have a good snack a little before bed - some veggies, yogurt, or a granola bar work well. I also make sure to keep a sippy cup of water in his room, too, since the air tends to be dry in our house. These two things have gone a long way in keeping him in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T18:20:00.937" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4791" CreationDate="2012-04-10T18:39:33.047" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some babies have their internal clock backwards when they're born. My daughter is three weeks old, and while not quite as out of rhythm as your son, she is definitely more awake and aware between the hours of 7 and midnight than during daylight, and she sleeps like a rock during the day. Some of this may be inherent in a baby's programming; Mommy's expected to be able to get some work done during the day, whether it's laundry and dishes or pounding corn and scraping sabretooth tiger skins. So, baby sleeps more during the day, because a loud fussy baby out in a field with predators hunting is a prime target for natural selection. I'm not sure what the statistics would have been for a baby dying due to a loud mouth as opposed to disease, starvation or exposure, but I would guess it's not insignificant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to try is to get him accustomed to light levels increasing in the morning and then decreasing at night. Babies can't see very well, but like you and me their brains react to overall light levels, and so the use of artificial light in the evenings can mess with a baby's circadian rhythm (such as it is at less than a month old), especially if you avoid using them during the day in lieu of sunlight through windows (which can result in the house being dimmer overall during the day than at night). Avoid bright interior lights after sundown; invest in some dimmer switches (unfortunately if you've &quot;gone green&quot; and switched to CFLs you'll find most don't dim and the ones that do don't do it well) and in some lower-lumen fixtures like a 25-40W table lamp instead of the 180W ceiling light. Gradually lower the light level as you head toward bedtime. We've found that it's helpful to leave some overhead lights on all night, but dimmed to the minimum level we can reliably see at. This allows us to see our baby and find out what's wrong, and to head for the fridge to get a bottle, while being less piercing than a nightlight that would provide the same basic level of illumination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing is that acid reflux is common in newborns; their digestive tract muscles aren't all working in concert yet, and they swallow air which bubbles back up carrying stomach acid and half-digested formula with it. So, many newborns like being propped up with their head higher than their feet. Try a crib wedge, or bring his swing or bouncy chair into the nursery and put him down in that instead. My daughter simply can't sleep flat for this reason, and these remedies help her sleep longer and fuss less at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be gas/air; babies can be fussy after a bottle, and our daughter will occasionally (not regularly but every once in a while) get a big air bubble in her tummy that takes hours to work itself back out. One of those just happened to be at 8:00 on a Sunday night, and the wife and I were up till sunrise calming her. Bottles that allow air in while feeding are good investments; my wife and I have had good success with the Playtex VentAire bottles, as well as the Dr Brown's design. Some Similac bottles and other brands have an air vent at the base of the nipple, but it often isn't one way so you have to keep it above the liquid level, and it can introduce air bubbles into the formula. Also consider a baby formula designed &quot;for fussiness and gas&quot;, and don't suddenly change the formula you use (at least not on a work night; we think that was one cause of the worst night we've had so far).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing, more ingrained, is that lying flat on one's back is a &quot;danger&quot; posture for babies. They're completely helpless and exposed, and so their instinct will be to call for Mommy. The solution, says Dr Karp, is to hold a baby on its side and not its back. I've tried this and it almost miraculously stops the crying about 95% of the time, but it's not a practical solution for sleeping (it's not recommended to hold your baby while you yourself sleep, and it's not recommended to put the child in their crib in any position but on their back to prevent SIDS, nor to &quot;bolster&quot; them with any soft cushion). Again, putting the baby in his swing or bouncy chair so his head is propped up avoids him feeling like he's on his back. Finding a way to secure yourself so you can't roll over (like in a recliner) nor drop your baby as you sleep (a Moby wrap maybe) can be an acceptable way to hold your baby while you both get some shuteye. My wife has gotten pretty used to dozing in the rocking recliner in our daughter's nursery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling can also help calm a baby down. It may not seem that way, as many babies initially don't seem to like being wrapped up tight in a blanket, but once you finish swaddling and calm their crying the swaddling helps them feel secure even after you're no longer holding them. We have a few HALO SleepSack Swaddles, and a few SwaddleMe wraps, and both of them work really well (the SwaddleMe wraps are excellent for swaddling your little one while he's in a car carrier or other harness restraint; the HALOS are more versatile overall), but even a receiving blanket about 3 feet square can wrap baby nice and snug. Once the crying has calmed and the baby's drifting off again, you can try putting him back in his crib. If the crying starts again, try propping him up as in earlier tips, and if you're able try maintaining some point of physical contact so he knows you're nearby (this is why we love our Co-Sleeper bassinet; it straps to the side of the bed so our daughter is right beside us without any roll-over worries).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last thing is that babies go through &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.purplecrying.info/&quot;&gt;a phase called &quot;PURPLE&quot; crying&lt;/a&gt;. It normally starts about two weeks and continues up to 3-4 months. During this time, babies will cry more often, for longer periods, be less consolable when they cry, may look like they're in pain, and may cry more in the evenings. This is often mistaken for &quot;colic&quot;, but is in reality just a phase every baby goes through. PURPLE crying does many things that are actually beneficial; it helps your baby's lungs develop further, it helps your baby become attached to you (or to whomever comes most reliably when they cry), and in trying to soothe the crying, you as parents will introduce many visual, auditory and tactile stimuli that will help your baby develop mentally. Your baby WILL grow out of it, so have patience; it really does get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="64" LastEditDate="2012-09-13T21:11:01.650" LastActivityDate="2012-09-13T21:11:01.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2012-04-10T18:40:11.100" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The idea is not simply to count, but to basically make it totally no-nonsense.  No begging, pleading, berating.  Just count and when you hit 3, they get a timeout or loss of privilege.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found this very effective, for what it's worth.  They key is applying it consistently, and using it as a substitute for the parents getting all riled up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T18:40:11.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4788" CreationDate="2012-04-10T18:42:48.070" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember a time of great confusion in my son about who exactly was &quot;you&quot; and who was &quot;me&quot;.  It's tricky -- the meanings of those words change depending on who is talking!  It takes a while to catch on to that subtlety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T18:42:48.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4760" CreationDate="2012-04-10T19:02:38.990" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;The person you need to have a talk with is your daughter's partner, before your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your question makes it unclear whether this person is female or transgender, whether they present and refer to themselves as male or female, etc.  Maybe that's because you don't know yourself.  Ask, and ask how she/he wants you to refer to him/her around your son or other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the process, you may also get some insight about how homosexuality and gender identification are not things that most people can choose.  Hint: do you choose to be heterosexual?  Probably not, you just feel like you've always been wired that way, and could never force yourself to be anything else.  Give others the benefit of the doubt that they are in the same boat, whatever their hard-wired preferences are.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know that most people are right handed and have no choice, some are left handed and have no choice, and a very few are ambidextrous (I suppose could &quot;choose&quot; to behave right-handedly all the time, but who cares?).  Talking about &quot;pro-left-handed&quot; or &quot;anti-left-handed&quot;, &quot;approving&quot; of left handedness, or worrying about whether acknowledging the existence of left-handed people might influence the writing hand of your kids, are just nonsensical, and merely betray a misunderstanding of how handedness works. Gay is similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T19:02:38.990" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2012-04-10T19:17:16.167" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, it may help to think hard about why he's misbehaving. Is he being naughty to &lt;em&gt;get&lt;/em&gt; attention, whether the attention is negative or positive? Is he going through any difficult life changes (moving, divorce, new siblings, loss of a loved one, etc), having a hard time adjusting to preschool, etc? Having a hard time sharing his feelings or otherwise expressing himself? Understanding why he misbehaves may help you tailor an approach to working through any root causes that are encouraging the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that you can choose between &lt;strong&gt;rewarding and encouraging good behavior&lt;/strong&gt; and/or &lt;strong&gt;punishing undesirable behavior&lt;/strong&gt;. Don't ignore good behavior, make sure he's recognized and rewarded for it. What kinds of rewards and recognition is up to you. It might be hugs and kisses and words of affirmation, it may be m&amp;amp;ms or a yummy treat, it could be a toy, or a sticker on a sticker chart toward earning a prize he's excited about. What motivates one child is different than what motivates another. The point is that if you make such a big fuss and give him attention for positive behaviors, he may start to seek attention by doing good things rather than seek attention by naughty things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as discouraging naughty behaviors, if he's seeking attention by being naughty, a punishment that eliminates attention may be an effective choice, and should be conducted in such a way that he's not getting rewarded with attention for misbehavior. If isolation or being ignored is not effective (it could just be too similar to a regular time-out), loss of privilege could also be chosen. Perhaps a favorite toy goes into time out instead of him. At 3, he's still young enough the consequence probably needs to be immediate for him to draw the connection with the behavior and the result, so loss of desert or not going to the playground later in the day may not be effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, remember to be clear and consistent about rules. Give him a clear spoken warning that if he continues or repeats a specific bad behavior, x will be the consequence, and then make sure you follow through so he knows you mean what you say and that your will can't be bent to match his will. It would also not hurt to suggest an alternative good behavior to do instead. &quot;no don't hit daddy, give daddy a big hug!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Role-playing good behavior and bad behavior might also be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T19:17:16.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4739" CreationDate="2012-04-10T19:29:32.063" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have flown frequently with my children, now 7 and 4.  We have traveled a lot-and on long flights-like to Europe or to Hawaii from the midwest.  I do not like electronics for them, I prefer other things-I let them play/watch for 30 minutes per 4 or 5 hours of flight or per flight.  However, if they get really fussy, I might allow an extra 30 minutes or so... it is a special circumstance-considering how close the other passengers who don't love my children no matter what are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We color, read, play dot-to-dot, play with toys.  I don't recommend cards, legos, or anything small.. playdough is a possibility for the oldest-but you aren't going to be able to keep them from grabbing onto the armrest or the walls or the chair or the... to keep them clean, so I personally would opt away from anything messy (paint or whathaveyou).  Color wonder is great, magnadoodles are AWESOME for the 2-4yos, but also older ones... etch-a-sketch?  I pack up little pony or littlest petshop things in a zippy bag-no SMALL items allowed and then they can play with that on their trays.  There are magnetic puzzles out there that my oldest enjoys-the container is metal and all the pieces are magnets.  Lace-up toys are good for on the plane for the 2-4 yo.  I brought a pop-up toy (big but SOOO worthwhile) for our almost 2yo once.. it was the hit of the trip.  I also brought one of those melissa and doug activity puzzles with the locks and things-again, big.. but a HUGE hit for the plane and it did fit in my carry on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think creatively... I always have 1 new toy, 1 new coloring thing, and 1 new book minimum for on the plane-at all ages for each child.  And I ONLY pull out a new thing when ABsolutely necessary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, going for a walk up and down the aisle can provide hours of entertainment for the younger set (with you following, of course).. just don't go up too close to the front-they frown on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to check if any of the lavatories have a baby changing station-some airplanes have them, some don't and USUally only 1 has it, if at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to include more 0-2 info and then some!.....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always brought a new Sassy toy that lit up and had music (or something similar).  It kept my 6-12m olds intrigued when nothing else would.  However, there are some in this set that are WONDerful fliers.. and others who just aren't.  I used all of the same techniques with both of my children and one was a great flyer-whereas the others ears just never popped-no matter what I did... so, she wasn't the happiest flyer in those days.  Do know that they get over that-and learn how to pop their ears eventually.  At the younger age, I tried to time flights with naptime in there-or a little late for naptime (and then keep them up until we were on the plane)... there were flights that they fell asleep on the ascent and slept for 2-3 hours of the trip.  Or they'd fall asleep once up.  Early flights work well for this, too-because they end up waking up as you leave the house.. and then are up with all the commotion to the airport, at the airport, etc... and fall asleep on the plane (usually) at some point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Snacks are wonderful distractions for the toddler and younger set, too.  I always brought more than they would need-some of their favorite-but healthy ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should think the older set (possibly the 8yo?) might enjoy doing a trip journal of some sort... draw pictures of interesting things in the airport, on the plane, etc... write about it if they feel like it.  You can take some lined or unlined paper, fold it in half, put construction paper folded around it for a cover-and you've got a journal.  Or maybe have them draw pictures of what/who they hope to see/do once they get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A dry-erase board that fits in a locker and some markers and a cloth would be good.. they can color to their hearts content or play hangman or tic tac toe or whatever and then erase it and do something different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I would give the older ones something to do... draw a pictures to give to people you may be visiting, write postcards on the way home to family and friends, write a story about traveling in 100 words or less.. or more?  Play some games with them-there are lots of travel games out there... backgammon, chess, sorry, settlers of catan, etc... that are perfect for plane trips with older children.  And then there are always books and/or magazines for older children, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I second the idea of a sippy bottle... nursing, bottle, juice-all are good for on the way up and down... keeps those ears open.  I always ask the flight attendant if I could have a little juice in the sippy bottle when they come around pre-flight.. I have never been denied that.  Usually they want to help the wee ones have a good flight, if they can.  Also, some airlines (southwest and international flights, minimumally) have items they give to kids.. and some even have wings, if you ask.  (we have recently gotten delta wings, I think?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I only got an extra seat for my under 2yo once-and otherwise never needed it.  They love having the snuggle time on your lap... That one time, I was traveling alone with her-and wanted to be able to put her in her carseat for her nap-and give my arms a rest... as long as you have someone else who is willing to help hold the infant/toddler, an extra seat is not usually necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2492" LastEditorUserId="2492" LastEditDate="2012-04-10T22:43:58.187" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T22:43:58.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4797" CreationDate="2012-04-10T21:11:29.190" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a parent, who happens to be a piano teacher, who happens to also teach my 2 daughters piano.....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would find out why he doesn't want to practice.  Is there something he'd rather be doing at that time?  Have him help you come up with a time that works for him.  One of my students practices before breakfast-seems early to me-but, it's what works out best for her and her family.  Other of my students practice right after school-and some are homeschooled and practice during their normal school activities.  If he enjoys playing piano and his lessons-finding out why practicing is so tedious would be a good start.  Does he have siblings that are watching tv at that time?  Maybe say noone gets to watch tv until x time... in the meantime, everyone take care of homework/practice/chores, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long has he been taking lessons?  My youngest, who just began this year, isn't all that interested in practicing-so, I let her practice when the mood strikes her, for the most part.  Some of my students take lessons every other week, because they aren't able to practice enough in 1 week.  Would he feel less pressure if you did something like that?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you aren't happy with how he is practicing, then send him back and tell him no tv (or whatever) until he practices the way his teacher wants him to-and with the right attitude.  If he's not willing to comply, I've also had students (a little older than 8) who were told they would pay for the lessons if they didn't practice right.  Sure, both of these cause a fight-I've been there.. but, in the end, they know what is expected of them and that Mom/Dad isn't going to accept less than their best-because that's really all we want.  Have you asked him to rate his practice on a scale of 1-5 or 1-10 on whether he put his best into it?  Maybe if his and yours averages to (7+ or 4+) X then he gets tv-if not, then no tv?  Give him some control of the situation and help him to see that he is IN control of the situation.  It isn't you-but him who controls whether or not he gets his reward.  Personally, in my house, if it's not with the right attitude, then it doesn't count-and my kids know that.. doesn't make them happy all of the time, but they do know where the bar is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2492" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T21:11:29.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4778" CreationDate="2012-04-10T21:17:05.907" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend a wrap or an Ergo backpack-they have newborn inserts for it.  We had an ergo that I LOVED!  It is a soft backpack, that can also be worn in front... it holds them as though they are sitting-which helps their hip joints develop correctly... as opposed to holding them from their crotch.  It is comfortable when worn and holds kids up to 60+ lbs, at least, I think.  If I still had ours (I lost it 6 months ago), I'd take it for in the airport for our preschooler... to keep her with us instead of running around.  In lieu of the Ergo, I'd recommend a sling or other wrap, also-it's not as cumbersome and more versatile than a metal framed backpack carrier for carrying the baby in a position they will also be happy in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that is the only stroller you own, I'd recommend getting the infant seat that fits in it, anyway-as you will use it when you go to a mall or a store that doesn't have shopping carts.. or walk around a park or....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2492" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T21:17:05.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4739" CreationDate="2012-04-10T21:30:22.133" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest small, portable board games such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/62871/zombie-dice&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Zombie Dice&lt;/a&gt;, or a more PC version of the same: &lt;a href=&quot;http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/99875/martian-dice&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Martian Dice&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A personal favorite of mine is &lt;a href=&quot;http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/2655/hive&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hive&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other suggestions: Puzzles, the kind where you have to figure out how to release the horseshoe or ring or whatever. Something they won't be able to figure out without at least an hour of trying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any mental effort they consume will make them drowsy and, eventually, sleepy - bonus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2432" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T21:30:22.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4792" CreationDate="2012-04-10T22:43:58.047" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's anything traumatic about the way you're handling the situation.  You're not locking him in his room for hours on end and ignoring him, you're removing yourself from a situation so as not to prolong it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was 2 we had a similar situation of him getting out of bed multiple times before falling asleep.  The Supernanny technique was a little more effective for us, but not 100% until he was older (about 3 probably), and he would still get up in the middle of the night and climb into bed with us.  There were a few times when I had to put a tension gate in his doorway because after the 20th time of him climbing out of bed for the seventh night in a row, neither myself nor my husband could handle it anymore.  Like your wife, I couldn't handle shutting the door on him, but putting up the tension gate allowed me to leave the door open and prevented him from physically leaving his room.  I finally accepted that I didn't care if he slept so much as he stayed in his room, and he'd eventually crawl into bed and go to sleep.  If he really needed us, he could yell for us and we would hear him.  Sometimes he'd cry or be upset or he'd stand at the gate and throw toys into the hallway, but that I could deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-10T22:43:58.047" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="31" CreationDate="2012-04-11T04:02:54.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.purplecrying.info&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.purplecrying.info&lt;/a&gt;. In short, it's a phase all children go through, some more severely than others, but the crying is a natural part of a baby's development. It helps baby's lungs develop, helps the baby bond with its parents (or whomever shows up when the crying starts), and in trying to soothe your baby you'll introduce visual, aural and tactile stimulation that helps your baby's brain develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-04-11T04:02:54.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2012-04-11T10:13:25.853" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The primary problem is that you are imposing a punishment.  While punishment is necessary in some cases, it is a losing strategy in the long term.  You make yourself into the &quot;bad guy&quot; for administering the punishment, and it also sends the signal that it's OK to do bad things as long as he doesn't get caught.  There will be trouble as soon as you take your eyes off of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second problem is that if you do have to punish your child, the punishment should be closely related to the misdeed.  If possible, the &quot;punishment&quot; should just be a natural consequence of his behavior.  For example, if he hits someone, have a serious chat about how it would feel to get hit, then make him ask the victim if he is hurt, and apologize.  If he makes a mess, have him help you clean it up, and also clean up something else too.  If he throws a toy inappropriately, you &quot;put it away for safekeeping&quot; — for his own good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timeouts are like jail terms.  He'll learn nothing, develop resentment against you, and maybe even consider his guilt paid for with his time.  What you want is to make him do community service instead.  Whatever he has done wrong, he should have to make things right again, as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2012-04-11T10:13:25.853" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4785" CreationDate="2012-04-11T11:38:37.163" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd strongly recommend against this. Household dirt is mostly harmless (and sometimes even useful) but industrial chemicals are not. Surfaces of consumer electronics product are often all treated with certain chemicals to enhance appearance and durability. Metal is often plated, anodized or painted. Plastics are painted and enhance with UV stabilizers. Glass surfaces have anti-smudge coatings. All of these involve chemicals. While the worst ones (such as lead or Hexvalent Chromium) have been recently &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restriction_of_Hazardous_Substances_Directive&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;outlawed&lt;/a&gt; in the EU there are still a lot of those and plenty of others around. It is certainly NOT something you want to put into a toddlers mouth and a regular basis. There are plenty of harmless things he/she can chew on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2486" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-04-11T13:43:32.000" LastActivityDate="2012-04-11T13:43:32.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4813" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4816" CreationDate="2012-04-11T12:27:01.527" Score="9" ViewCount="908" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's been a while since I've been camping and I never did so as a very young child. What types of activities and general camping prep would be appropriate for going with a kindergartner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="22180" LastEditDate="2016-05-18T20:06:55.197" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T20:06:55.197" Title="How do we keep kindergartners entertained while camping?" Tags="|pre-schooler|activities|travel|outdoor|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4785" CreationDate="2012-04-11T13:42:57.417" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cell-phone coatings are often made of lead. Cell phones also contain copper, nickel, antimony and zinc. Cell phones are officially considered &quot;hazardous&quot; e-waste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Heavy metals such as mercury, lead and cadmium are present within&#xA;  mobile phones, especially older models, as well as brominated flame&#xA;  retardants in the devices' printed circuit boards and casings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6174422.stm&quot;&gt;http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6174422.stm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Plastic types known as polycarbonate and acrylonitrile butadiene&#xA;  styrene---or a combination of the two---commonly compose most cell&#xA;  phones. Brominated flame retardants often coat these plastic shells.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;cell phones commonly contain substances including lead, mercury,&#xA;  beryllium, arsenic, beryllium, brominated flame retardants, lead,&#xA;  nickel, palladium, silver, tantalum, cadmium and antimony.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.com/list_6757391_materials-used-make-cell-phones_.html&quot;&gt;http://www.ehow.com/list_6757391_materials-used-make-cell-phones_.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.epa.gov/osw/education/pdfs/life-cell.pdf&quot;&gt;http://www.epa.gov/osw/education/pdfs/life-cell.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend not giving your child your cell phone as a toy. It is not meant to be consumed; it is not meant to be used as a toy. It has very harmful chemicals that have been connected with cancer and serious medical conditions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-11T13:42:57.417" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4813" CreationDate="2012-04-11T14:30:29.307" Score="8" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bikes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sticks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;mud&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bugs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;frogs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hot chocolate&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;marshmallows&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;frisbee/balls/bats/horseshoes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hiking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;climbing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;binoculars&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;board games&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-04-11T14:30:29.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4813" CreationDate="2012-04-11T16:58:35.313" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Where and how are you going camping? Woods survival style (no power etc)? Campsite at a local lake? Campsite at a state park? Someone's back 40?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the sake of the answer, I'm going to assume that you're doing like most people and get a powered campsite near a local reservoir. So basically a mowed lawn bordered by non-mowed scrub  vegetation bordered by maybe woods or untended land.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;activities for a 5yo that are different from general daily activites: bubbles, airplanes, ball of any sort. (bocce is simple and fun for anyone that can hold a ball, excellent in grass or on a beach).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and then there's nature: sticks, rocks, turtles are fun at that age but need an element of care. the problem is that a lot of parents get so stuck on &quot;OMG OMG OMG&quot; that they forget that THEY used to sled down the hill at 40mph towards the 10' cliff that overlooked a creek . . . and lived to tell about it. you know what? your 5 yo will too. Let them get a walking stick and play in the mud. you're camping. who cares if they get covered. OH NO now you have to get in the water!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as prep, have plenty of Koolaid and snacks they like. get their fave blanket and plillow and 2ndary fave toys . . . something WILL get lost or left, and it'd best if it wasn't Bunnie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line is this: they'll have just as much fun left to their own devices under your watchful eye as they would if you perseverated over every pixel of their activitiy in the name of safety. Don't forget that you're all there to have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[edit] OH OH I forgot... one year we went camping with a 5 and 3 yr old plus I guess 15 and 13 boys. There were probably &gt;6 families and others. Total numbers something like 25-30 people. We made up a board game using the checkerboard pattern on a table cloth we bought, playing cards and a couple of dice. some kids pulled cards to move pieces (bottle caps, fingernail clippers, etc) while other kids were actors and had to act out &quot;something&quot; whenever either a face card was drawn or the player landed on a corner... in other words it happened a lot. If 2 players shared a space, their representative 'actors' had to do best-of-3 rock/paper/scissors... the guy that won moved ahead one space. The person that won got a twinkie... and yes we were all sitting there eating twinkies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Etc. etc. etc. The point of this addon-edit is that board games are great, but making up your own games is even better. We played that game off-n-on the entire w'end. If there's a good number of people with a concentration of children (it was probably 50/50 for these campouts) then you can easily occupy several hours just chilling with your goofy game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-04-17T15:55:35.220" LastActivityDate="2012-04-17T15:55:35.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4739" CreationDate="2012-04-11T18:06:51.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't understand the general ire for electronics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this situation, it's really a matter of the macro-child-rearing value of avoiding screen addiction vs the quality of life for you and nearby passengers for 4 hours as the kids get bored of playing rock/paper/scissors and start noising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lets face it: middle class kids that age have no idea what it's like to be in a world without screens. a middle class 8 yo simply can't fathom a world without a zillion hd tv channels, dad's smartphone and wikipedia. My 6 yo will sit and read... &lt;em&gt;whatever&lt;/em&gt;... on a vanilla Kindle for HOURS... but won't look at a paper copy of the same book. So if the 4yo want's to play his Leapfrog on the flight, then falls asleep, then wakes up and does it till you land... how is that bad?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Screens are as much a part of their being as a car is to us, their parents. I grew up with a car but my dad never really sat in a car till he was almost 10. Expecting that our kids sit and occupy themselves for an afternoon without screen time would be like you or I attempting to do Saturday errands on a bicycle. To that, I say &quot;lol&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I know you from your history here, you moderate their screen time anyway. Therefore, this 'special situation' (4 hr flight to a special destination) could benefit everyone from a 'special rule' for screen time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying you should jack them in for the whole time. What i'm saying is that i don't think you should go so hard out of your way to avoid it. In this sutation, it's a tool... and if it works, it works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something else i'll bet you didn't think about . . . by avoiding screen time, you'll be packing a big giant Felix the Cat &quot;Bag of Tricks&quot; that may force you to &lt;em&gt;check your luggage.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Cha-ching.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;&lt;em&gt;Mods: I know I know. . . I didn't really answer the question, I questioned the premise of the question... but I wanted to defend the perspective of kids and reasonable screen time.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-04-11T18:06:51.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4818" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4829" CreationDate="2012-04-12T01:27:35.193" Score="23" ViewCount="6144" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently bought an iPad primarily for my 3-year-old daughter. I put nothing on it but educational apps and children's books. No YouTube, no Internet, no (non-educational) games. I've decided to let her use it as much as she wants, for now, and see how it goes. That was a few weeks ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far she's been using the iPad maybe 2 to 5 hours each day. She still enjoys other activities -- playing outside, playing with dolls and blocks, interacting with friends, being read to, etc. And I think she might be learning a thing or two from the apps. Still, several hours a day seems like a lot. How do I know if it's too much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've searched the web, and there's lots of info on limiting TV time and video games, but I can't find any recommendations on limiting use if it's only educational games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relevant: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/244/should-i-let-my-3-year-old-play-educational-games-on-my-iphone&quot;&gt;Should I let my 3 year old play educational games on my iPhone?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2500" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-09-10T14:53:26.210" LastActivityDate="2020-09-10T14:53:26.210" Title="How much time is too much time playing educational computer games?" Tags="|toddler|education|video-games|screen-time|limits|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4819" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-12T03:50:50.583" Score="6" ViewCount="205" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old son has become ill over the last few days - his white blood cell count is low and the diagnosis is immune thrombocytopenic purpura (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiopathic_thrombocytopenic_purpura&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;ITP&lt;/a&gt;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The prognosis is good - he should get better in a few weeks or months. He also feels good, but now we have to restrict his activities - no bicycle, no somersaults, no climbing, etc. At the same time, we have been seeing doctors, getting blood drawn, and discussing the topic as we learn about it. I would like to minimize psychological harm as a side effect - and, if possible, squeeze some positive educational opportunity out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering the circumstances, he has been handling it very well. But he is starting to get worried - when we tell him he can't jump around he takes it very seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we minimize negative psychological consequences of this situation? What should and should we not say to him? Maybe we should not discuss it at all in front of him? How should we discuss it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is making me realize the limits of my knowledge and abilities as a parent. For example, tomorrow we drive 2.5 hrs to see a doctor. To what degree should we avoid the topic? Should we go so far as to pretend that we are going to a park or museum with a quick stop at a doctor's office on the way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1500" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-02T12:29:39.187" LastActivityDate="2019-05-02T12:29:39.187" Title="Basic guidelines for supporting psychological health of a sick 3-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|communication|emotional-well-being|sickness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4819" CreationDate="2012-04-12T11:49:11.773" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds as though he may be playing off of your reactions, to a degree.  When kids have something serious happen to them, they take their cue from the adults around them-like when they fall... if you tell them to dust off (while checking to make sure everything's ok) and then have them go play they will react differently than if you say... be careful, don't do that.. or if you are more cautious with them the next time they are about to do the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say limit your talking about it to a minimum with them.  It helps for them to understand what's going on-but then move on to other subjects-making sure to remind them that for right now, no jumping, etc...you'll be able to do that again soon.  How about we do x, y, z instead... which means you have to come up with x, y, and z (play with trains, read, watch a movie/show, build with blocks, paint, be a turtle and follow each other around the house (gets movement, but slow and careful movement), etc).  At 3 they need to be able to be a kid and not have an illness hanging over them 24/7-if at all possible.  And I, personally, always blame the doctor for the limited activities... do you remember Dr. X said no jumping.  I'm sorry, honey, but it could make you feel yucky/worse.  If you need to talk about what's going on in more detail, than you need to do that with other adults-so that he doesn't feel like this is all there is in his world...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having done the 2.5 hour drive or so to a doctor with younger kids-don't minimize the doctor... but &quot;since we're here&quot; why don't we go to this grocery store I never get to go to and pick out something as a treat and maybe get some things I can't find at home, too... or go to a restaurant for lunch/snack that isn't near our house as a special treat... so they don't dread the doctor's visits in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2492" LastActivityDate="2012-04-12T11:49:11.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4822" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-12T12:46:19.487" Score="5" ViewCount="377" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 6 1/2 years old and we are in the process of seeing an Infectious Disease specialist and a Neurologist. My son has had an MRI, a CAT Scan, Ultrasounds, and the pediatricians have run every blood test imaginable - all showing nothing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes through spells of prolonged sleeping at a time; he just can't stay awake. He also has about a good week when his activity level and sleep patterns are normal; however, there are times when I can't get him to wake up. He falls asleep as soon as he gets in the car from school, sleeps 3-4 hours, gets up and eats and goes to bed early in the evening. This has been going on for two months and is scary and very frustrating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is missing school every third day or so and sleeps all day. He has headaches and very bed sweating when he sleeps. Because the Doctors can't find anything wrong they are dismissing me and throwing their hands up. I &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; there is something wrong with my child! This is not normal for any child, let alone my normally very active 6 year old little boy. He was also hospitalized for three days, and they saw him do all this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else experienced anything similar where you know there is something going on and the Doctors just won't listen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2501" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-04-13T11:35:48.487" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T11:35:48.487" Title="How can I get renewed medical attention for my child's undiagnosed sickness?" Tags="|sickness|doctor|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4822" CreationDate="2012-04-12T13:20:51.550" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Seek alternate specialists&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you've lost confidence in your health care professionals, or if they've dismissed you despite clear signs of a health issue, I'd advise you to seek another health care professional. Get a second, third, or a fourth opinion. There is little else you can do - if a doctor has ran every test, done everything he believes he can to diagnose the symptoms - and cannot, there is nothing more he can do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-12T13:20:51.550" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2012-04-12T13:30:34.410" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I thought I'd expand my comment into an answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether or not media is considered educational is a bit of a red herring. If a kid is going to watch TV or play a game, yes, it might as well be educational, but the fact that it is educational isn't going to change whether or not it's a good idea to be doing that activity for extended periods of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The concern is that you don't want to assume &quot;It's OK&quot; because it's educational. 5 hours of education TV is as good/bad for a child as 5 hours of Nickelodeon. It's the activity (or, with TV, the lack thereof) that is the concern. Sitting for 5 hours doing a passive activity is the concern...not specifically what they are watching. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be fair, video games aren't the same as TV. As they aren't mentally passive. They are typically physically passive, but at least the brain is firing synapses when playing a video game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell you how many hours a 3 year old should play on an iPad. I'd personally keep it to an hour a day at most, but that's just based on my personal opinion. And there are plenty of media options on an iPad that I think one could argue are not exactly the same thing as video game...such as ebooks or music, so it's a complicated device to form an analysis on, IMHO. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My main point, though, is just don't assume it's all OK just because the games are labeled 'educational'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-04-12T13:30:34.410" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4822" CreationDate="2012-04-12T19:16:32.797" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I definitely concur with getting a second or third opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the personal side, it sounds like a support group (beyond just Parenting at StackExchange) could be really beneficial.  I would start with family and close friends for their support.  But even with the best of intentions, they may not understand what you are going through.  Most communities have support groups of all kinds for parents, children, and/or sufferers of specific illnesses or classes of illnesses.  You could ask your doctors or local hospitals, or do a web search or check Meetups for your region.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the medical side, have you considered visiting a DO (osteopath) or other professional dedicated to a more systems-oriented view of health?  I would also recommend doing your own research if you have not already, and asking targeted questions of your doctors (existing new) such as:  &quot;what specific illness can cause these symptoms?&quot;  I have no interest in causing alarm, but it sounds like ruling out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cfids.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CFIDS/CFS/ME&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleine-Levin_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;KLS&lt;/a&gt; might be helpful (you may know of much more likely candidate illnesses).  You can always visit a trusted website like the Mayo Clinic and search for specific criteria -- not to replace medical advice but to brainstorm questions to ask.  If you can get a doctor to explain why he/she rules out a specific illness, you have something concrete you can work with or take to another doctor (&quot;do you agree my child does not have XYZ?&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, we got a 2nd opinion with our baby when one doctor's bedside manner was inadequate for our needs, even though her treatment was pretty good.  Now baby and parents are all happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2504" LastActivityDate="2012-04-12T19:16:32.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4785" CreationDate="2012-04-12T20:40:14.017" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is likely very dangerous for a child to chew on a cell phone, specifically due to the bacteria commonly found.  There are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/751569&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;various&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://finance.fortune.cnn.com/2011/06/09/your-cell-phone-is-trying-to-kill-you/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;studies&lt;/a&gt; comparing the germs on cell phones unfavorably to toilet seats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2504" LastActivityDate="2012-04-12T20:40:14.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4769" CreationDate="2012-04-12T20:46:05.150" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The lists given are great (definitely include &quot;burp&quot;).  Also, you may not always be able to determine a cause.  For lesser problems your primary job may be distraction.  I would highly recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.happiestbaby.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Happiest Baby on the Block&lt;/a&gt;.  I have literally never seen these techniques fail with our baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2504" LastActivityDate="2012-04-12T20:46:05.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4769" CreationDate="2012-04-12T22:04:52.677" Score="2" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hungry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gassy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cold&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lonely&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tired&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastEditorUserId="1508" LastEditDate="2012-05-06T11:11:54.090" LastActivityDate="2012-05-06T11:11:54.090" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2012-04-12T22:14:20.497" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Association of Pediatrics suggests 1-2 hours of all screen time--regardless of content.  The following link sites some of the effects it can have:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/children-and-tv/MY00522&quot;&gt;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/children-and-tv/MY00522&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, beginning more than 1-2 hours of screen time at age 3 makes it more difficult to limit it when they are older-as it becomes something they are used to doing for 3 hours a day (to pick a random amount of time) and don't necessarily know how or want to find a way to occupy themselves after school, for instance if they get used to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another study to read: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/07/100706161759.htm&quot;&gt;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/07/100706161759.htm&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Although it is done on older children, habits are formed from an early age... and continue into adulthood.  So, it is better to be wary than to find out in 3rd grade that had you done something differently it might be different now.  Also, as one of the studies cited states: model good screen habits-don't spend too much time watching TV/playing video games either... that way as they grow up, they don't expect the amount of time to increase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found one more link which specifically addresses tv, video games of educational varieties in toddlers (which, imho is closer to preschoolers than grade 5-but the grade 5 studies show what can happen if it continues)... &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/19/health/19babies.html&quot;&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/19/health/19babies.html&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;This study also says to limit it.  Note that the video industry says that a parent is the best judge... of course, they might just be biased (wanting parents $$?).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2492" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2012-04-12T23:03:33.993" LastActivityDate="2012-04-12T23:03:33.993" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2012-04-13T00:01:42.823" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that once you get past a certain point, content is irrelevant and that 5 hours of edu games has less to do with the content and everything to do with the lack of varied activity for a 3 yr old. i think even 2 hrs at a crack is too long, and i'm a pretty big tech advocate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now here's something that hasn't been mentioned... I'll bet that if she's played these games that much, that she's no longer playing the game, but has memorized the patterns. I'll bet the games are stale and she's just going thru the motions anymore. You'll be able to tell by watching her for just a couple of minutes whether or not this is the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the range that you've given, i would recommend that you develop a daily routine of some sort, and slide it in there for an 60-90, 1-2x/day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T00:01:42.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4822" CreationDate="2012-04-13T00:50:45.860" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the all ready fabulous suggestions given above, I just wanted to add this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever tests are run, scans are taken, etc., make sure you get copies for yourself and keep them in an organized place (like a notebook), and anytime you visit a new doctor (or even an old one), take them with you.  Shuffling information and data between doctors offices takes time and can be incomplete.  When my dad was so sick, my mom kept her own calendar of the drugs he was taking, how long he was on them, how many times per day he took the medicine or had a treatment, etc., and there were many, many times that my dad's oncologist told my mom that her calendar is what kept my dad alive because his treatment was just simply so complex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also keep a record of his symptoms--even though he's been hospitalized and doctors have observed his behavior, keeping a running diary that you can take with you will only help you long-term and might provide some more insight into whatever is making him sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T00:50:45.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4788" CreationDate="2012-04-13T03:05:19.577" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is all about language acquisition and it's something you learn from watching other parents with their kids...and it becomes intuitive.  Eventually the switch is made to using pronouns with them-but that can take time and it can become a habit that creeps up even after they've out grown the not-understanding-pronouns stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developmentally, they don't understand all pronouns:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/reference/article/development-pronouns-children/&quot;&gt;http://www.education.com/reference/article/development-pronouns-children/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the following article, in the grammar section it talks about children using pronouns&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/221210-language-development-in-children-from-zero-to-three/&quot;&gt;http://www.livestrong.com/article/221210-language-development-in-children-from-zero-to-three/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;one can assume that they understand them before that, but it's different for each child as to when the understanding begins... thus the gradual shift to pronouns by parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2492" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-04-13T07:14:24.803" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T07:14:24.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4819" CreationDate="2012-04-13T17:01:55.613" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're right to discuss things and not avoid the topic. Just as with adults, children can find it easier to deal with situations if they understand what is happening and why. When my 2-year-old was throwing up and had to have an exam and x-rays, we explained that the doctor was going to help. We used age-appropriate explanations. During the exam and for the next few days, she repeated simple words like &quot;help,&quot; &quot;better,&quot; and &quot;sick.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also found it helpful to play doctor with her doll. She would use things like a toy stethoscope or a toy bottle and say things like &quot;Baby sick, [something] help better&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The previously posted suggestions are helpful, such as quoting the doctor for the rules--you might even add &quot;because Dr. X wants you to get better.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2385" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T17:01:55.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4836" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4838" CreationDate="2012-04-13T17:30:29.103" Score="6" ViewCount="7532" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 21 month old toddler will use the potty when we leave her bottom bare - she has been successfully doing this for a month. Tired of cleaning stinky diapers, we leave her bottom bare when she is home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't particularly enjoy wearing diapers, and when we put one on her, she doesn't take the initiative to tell us that she has to use the potty. However, when we have company over, we put a diaper on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are trying to transition her into wearing panties; however, she is very opposed to them. She equates them with pants and doesn't want to wear them. While she is fully capable of dressing herself in pants, she hasn't mastered taking her pants off yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you introduce underwear to your child? When do people normally introduce underwear to their child? How do I explain the concept of having to take her panties off before using the potty?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We in no way want to discourage her use of the potty, as she seems to really enjoy pooing/peeing outside (she claps for herself whenever she uses the potty). But if she is interested in potty training herself, I do want to show her the concept of an underwear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2024-02-16T16:30:06.127" Title="Explaining the concept of underwear to our toddler" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4836" CreationDate="2012-04-13T18:53:23.497" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may not be that your daughter doesn't understand taking her panties off... she just hasn't mastered that skill yet-and in all the excitement of going potty, isn't able to work on it at that moment.  An important aspect of toilet training is the removal of pants.  Many experts that I've read state that being able to take off clothes (specifically the lower half: pant/skirt) is a requirement for toilet training.  Otherwise, how can they actually go potty in the toilet?  Look at this link for that and other cues to know the child is ready:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/child-rearing-and-development/toilet-training/6-steps-d-day-diaper-free-day&quot;&gt;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/child-rearing-and-development/toilet-training/6-steps-d-day-diaper-free-day&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest playing some games with her to help her want to learn to take off her clothes, if that's what you really want her to do right now-otherwise, take it easy and wait until she is ready in that way, as well.  It won't be long.  Both of my girls were ready and wanting to between 22-30 months...although many kids aren't ready until closer to 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, in this article: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/content/potty-training&quot;&gt;http://www.askdrsears.com/content/potty-training&lt;/a&gt;  it suggests emptying the diaper/underwear into the toilet, when there's a poop accident.  We did this with both of our kids saying, &quot;Let's put the poop in the toilet where it goes/belongs.&quot;  Helps them see that even with an accident, the poop still belongs in the toilet, not for Mommy/Daddy to clean up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of that being said, my 4yo still doesn't always like to take off her pants to go potty-no accidents, she just waits for someone else to do it.  She is entirely capable of removing all of her clothing as she does it several times a day-there's just something about the bathroom that makes her not always want to.  However, she has taken great strides in this and takes care of things herself more often than she used to.  It will happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't go directly from diaper to underwear-we went to pull-ups (which didn't work for either of our kids) to cloth training pants to underwear.  There are some great cloth training pants on cloth diaper sites that I found to be more effective than the thinner Gerber ones I could find locally.  They hold one pee without leaking (for the most part) but make them feel the wet, as opposed to diapers that keep them dry even when the diaper is wet..and our girls never noticed the cool core in the pull-ups (when they got wet) it didn't bother them in the least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is an article discussing pros and cons of disposable training pants and underwear in toilet training: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/113065-disposable-training-pants-vs.-underwear/&quot;&gt;http://www.livestrong.com/article/113065-disposable-training-pants-vs.-underwear/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2492" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T18:53:23.497" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4836" CreationDate="2012-04-13T19:07:11.543" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;One helpful tip is to get underwear printed with characters she is really into, then anthropomorphize the underwear when she has an accident.  &quot;Oh, no!  Princesses don't like to get peed on :-(&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, continuing the diaper sometimes is a confusing signal.  It's faster to do underwear full time, with the possible exception of pull-ups at night, and just deal with the accidents for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T19:07:11.543" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4836" CreationDate="2012-04-13T19:32:29.470" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One approach could be to buy her some undies with one of her favorite characters on them.  If you know who that is, or ask her, then surprise her with the cool undies with the even cooler character on them.  You will accomplish two things:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She will want to wear them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She will not want to pee on them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy that sweet little cucumber...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2012-04-16T13:36:18.120" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T13:36:18.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2012-04-13T20:11:15.443" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think with any media product, its important to set up some boundaries as far as usage goes.  IMHO, educational games would get a little more leeway, but still should have boundaries. Its a good opportunity to set some good habits for your child, let her start to learn the importance of self governing or at least, that limits do exist.  This lesson can be extrapolated to many different things, TV, internet access, XBOX, Iphone etc etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Decide what is a good limit and apply that in a firm, loving consistent manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T20:11:15.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4813" CreationDate="2012-04-13T20:16:47.713" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a fun question.  Take them for a hike, teach them to fish, try to capture fireflies, help them to make some scrammbled eggs, teach them to build a fire (with supervision), have them collect the sticks to make the fire.  Tell them a story about the woods, have them tell you a story about the woods (kids can be creative when you let them). hide and seek is fun, build a damn, if possible.  Play I spy, bring some books, play some cards, play yatzee, write a song, play fill in the blank, you make up a story and leave blanks in the story having them put words in, then read the story back to them. Collect crayfish, leaves or pine cones.  Hide something near the campsite and let them look for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2012-04-13T20:16:47.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2012-04-14T04:46:50.127" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers should not spend much time behind a screen. IMHO the use of media is far more relevant than the content of the media, particularly if the time is quite limited. The very &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; I would consider is an hour a day, and I would not let it be at one sitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I've searched the web, and there's lots of info on limiting TV time and video games, but &#xA;  I can't find any recommendations on limiting use if it's only educational games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That should tell you something. The difference between &quot;educational&quot; media and regular media is marginal compared to the difference between real life and any media. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not recommending that you let your toddler spend even 5 minutes a day on Grand Theft Auto, but don't rationalize multiple hours a day with the electronic baby sitter because the content is &quot;educational.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get the kid a puppy. Find a good playground. Find other kids his age and have play dates. Get &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln_Logs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Lincoln Logs&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knex&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Knex&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2669/1004&quot;&gt;Read to your kid&lt;/a&gt;. Get dolls or action figures. You get the point ... you want active rather than passive amusement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-04-14T04:46:50.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2012-04-14T17:01:13.623" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I appreciate people's perspective that parents want what is best for their children. However, as 18 someone is no longer a child. At this point parents need to let their kids take responsibility and live their own lives. It's better to let someone make mistakes at 18 then to have them to have no idea how to function in society and make mistakes at an older age when parents aren't there to take care of them anymore. I am 28 and my parents weren't that controlling at all about these kinds of things. I think far too many parents are too controlling these days and their children are growing up not knowing how to function. Some parents are even going to their 20-something children's jobs and trying to tell their bosses how to treat their kids. At some point, parents need to let their children sink or swim on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2508" LastActivityDate="2012-04-14T17:01:13.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4844" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4847" CreationDate="2012-04-14T21:59:11.450" Score="10" ViewCount="8665" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our little boy tends to get 3 minutes on the naughty spot when he's done something wrong. After this time one of us tries to explain why he's been naughty spotted and what he should do differently next time. He is then released from the naughty spot and he goes on his merry way ;].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am concerned that during this explanation he's not listening as he tends to look away while I'm talking. He is usually looking at one of his toys or what his little sister is doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My better half is concerned that I am being overly confrontational here.&#xA;Should I be enforcing this attention/eye contact, or should I wait until he's older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am male if that makes a difference to the psychology of the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice gratefully received.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2509" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T17:28:31.027" LastActivityDate="2018-04-10T15:10:36.807" Title="Should our 3 year old boy be made to look at me while I am talking (during discipline)?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4846" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4848" CreationDate="2012-04-15T12:41:22.433" Score="3" ViewCount="437" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4791/how-can-we-get-our-newborn-to-sleep-at-night-as-soundly-as-he-does-in-the-day&quot;&gt;How can we get our newborn to sleep at night as soundly as he does in the day?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I had our first child three nights ago. The last two days she has been sleeping all day and up for a good chunk of the night. Can anyone recommend any techniques for shifting the majority of her awake hours to the day time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2511" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-04-15T13:53:54.743" Title="How to reverse a new born's sleeping schedule?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2012-04-16T06:55:22.410" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4844" CreationDate="2012-04-15T13:05:17.397" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I usually end the timeout with a short &lt;em&gt;as pleasant as possible&lt;/em&gt; conversation where I get the child to acknowledge what they did wrong.  I find the eye contact less important than the words being spoken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parent: &quot;Do you know why you are in timeout?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Child:  &quot;I hit my sister.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Parent: &quot;Are you suppose to do that?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Child:  &quot;No.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Parent: &quot;Are you going to do that again?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Child:  &quot;No&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are a little older, I try to get them to say the words themselves:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parent: &quot;What are you NOT suppose to do?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Child:  &quot;I'm not suppose to hit my sister.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1166" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-10T15:10:36.807" LastActivityDate="2018-04-10T15:10:36.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4846" CreationDate="2012-04-15T13:53:54.743" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give it time&lt;/strong&gt;. The baby is used to sleeping all day because that's what the baby used to do in the womb - I am certain your wife used to complain how the baby starts moving around in the womb right when she used to lie down in bed for the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a newborn, there is little you can do in terms of training her. You can only &quot;encourage&quot; her by keeping noise levels low, lights off, lowering your voice - i.e. minimize the stimulation so she is &quot;bored&quot; to sleep. Similarly, in the day time, continue to wake her for her regular feedings and play with her when she is awake. Keep the lights on, talk to her, etc. But make sure that she is still sleeping the 14-16 hours of sleep that newborns need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful not to exhaust or tire your child thinking that if it is exhausted, it'll sleep all night. It won't. All you'll end up with is a baby that is too tired to stay awake but is hungry. The baby will keep waking up every 10-15 minutes to eat for a couple of minutes. It's a nightmare!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for you and your wife coping with this, unfortunately, the best thing to do is to turn into night owls yourself. Try sleeping when the baby is asleep and don't be shy to take naps during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-15T13:53:54.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4849" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4855" CreationDate="2012-04-15T19:56:37.260" Score="17" ViewCount="130139" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2½ year old son does not &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to sleep, regardless how tired he is. He will do anything and everything he can think of, just to avoid falling asleep. It usually takes 1-1½ hours (sometimes even longer) before he gives in to sheer exhaustion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been going on for around two months now and is taking a serious toll on the sanity of his parents. We feel that he is committing psychological terror on us, even though we're just collateral damage and not a deliberate target.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does not matter at all how well we exhaust him during the day. Since he also acts this way at his noon nap we have skipped it -- he ought to be devastatingly tired in the evening (and he usually is), but even then he musters all his energy at the evening bedtime to stay awake at all costs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he eventually &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; fall asleep, he sleeps just as well as he always has. He does not wake up with nightmares. He never says or otherwise indicates that he does not like the sleep itself. But he fights &lt;em&gt;going&lt;/em&gt; to sleep as if he's afraid he would never wake up again -- this sounds like a plausible cause but he has never indicated anything in that direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I often joke that he's got a hyperactivity disorder, but I don't actually think he does. ADHD would imply an attention deficit and that isn't the case, but the -HD part seems true enough by itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I find out why my son does not want to sleep, and how can I help him?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation is very nearly literally driving us insane. It &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; literally preventing us from doing anything at all in the evenings; neither chores nor relaxation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We normally put him to bed around 19:00 and he normally wakes at 05:45 regardless how long he slept. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These days he doesn't fall asleep until 21:30 or 22:00 and wakes at 05:00. Combined with the not wanting to nap during the day, it's clear that he has a massive sleep deficit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He no longer uses a pacifier. We are certain that reintroducing a pacifier for sleeping would cure these problems &lt;em&gt;for now&lt;/em&gt; but we don't see that as a solution because it would only postpone these problems until later. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After he's been put to bed, we try to have minimal contact. If he starts fussing or crying, we will wait a while to see if he can handle it himself and if he can't then we will go in and gently soothe him in a way that matches the situation. At the moment, he won't be soothed though; our usual methods are ineffective.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Solution:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Thank you for all your comments. I've upvoted all that had helpful elements, and I'll accept the one that matches best.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In the end, we sort of gave up because we ran out of things to try -- &lt;strong&gt;he got the pacifier back&lt;/strong&gt; and within a day or two, we're back to having a well-balanced toddler who falls asleep reasonably fast. We don't see this as a defeat, or a victory on his account. Rather, we accept that it was too early to withdraw the pacifier, at least for this little boy. He's only getting it to fall asleep and not for anything else, and that seems to work well. He will give up the pacifier when he's grown some more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-20T07:45:28.353" LastActivityDate="2017-04-20T18:27:12.107" Title="Toddler does not want to fall asleep" Tags="|toddler|behavior|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4850" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4851" CreationDate="2012-04-16T02:13:57.323" Score="9" ViewCount="427" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard 2 arguments against breastfeeding while pregnant, that it causes contractions that can lead to premature labor, and that it can be difficult on the mother to support a developing baby, make milk for another baby, and have enough nutrition for her own body.  My OB, and another that I've talked to, have both initially said that it was dangerous due to the possibility of early labor.  Dr. Google seems to give a different answer, that the body is designed with safeguards that prevent nursing causing early labor in a healthy pregnancy.  Both doctors have said they will look at the current reasearch and get back to me.  Neither has done so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone here know of any studies proving the harm or lack of harm in breast feeding while pregnant in a healthy pregnancy?  Does anyone know of a trustworthy, unbiased organization that has taken a position either way, especially in recent years?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-17T21:38:20.287" Title="Is it safe to breastfeed through pregnancy?" Tags="|breastfeeding|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4850" CreationDate="2012-04-16T04:01:47.890" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is interesting that your medical practitioners are advising you otherwise. Mine said that it was no problem. I breastfed all the way through the 7th month of my pregnancy - until my daughter weaned herself off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt; is a trusted source (non-profit medical practice &amp;amp; research group). The recommendation from there basically amounts to &lt;strong&gt;listen to your body.&lt;/strong&gt; They do advise to consult your OB - if you have a history of pre-term labour or have a complicated pregnancy, you should consider weaning your child off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Generally, it's possible to safely continue breast-feeding while&#xA;  pregnant — as long as you're careful about eating a healthy diet and&#xA;  diligently drinking plenty of fluids. There's an important caveat,&#xA;  however. Breast-feeding can trigger mild uterine contractions.&#xA;  Although these contractions aren't a concern during an uncomplicated&#xA;  pregnancy, your health care provider may discourage breast-feeding&#xA;  while pregnant if you have a history of preterm labor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found one study from 2003, &lt;a href=&quot;http://jhl.sagepub.com/content/9/2/83.short&quot;&gt;Breastfeeding during pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;, with a small sample size (57 women), where the participants breastfed a child during pregnancy. The study claims that all children born to these women were healthy. The study discusses various reasons why the women weaned off their children, as well as children who weaned themselves off, and other women who continued to breastfeed the older child even after delivery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A book to consult would be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.ca/Adventures-Tandem-Nursing-Breastfeeding-Pregnancy/dp/0912500972&quot;&gt;Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond&lt;/a&gt;; however, whether or not that is a biased source, is for you to decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that your OB knows more about you than any resource or study online, I would trust their medical expertise (as much as I personally disagree with what your OB is telling you). If you disagree with them or they are unable to back their opinion with studies, you should find one that is more up-to-date in their field and has experience in dealing with women who have breastfed their children during pregnancies. (You would need more nutrition, would be more fatigued, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-04-16T04:22:27.520" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T04:22:27.520" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4849" CreationDate="2012-04-16T13:29:44.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is fast approaching 2 years and although for now (knock on wood) has no trouble falling asleep, when we take her away from something she really likes she sometimes throw herself into full scale panic attack that can last for very long time. While in this state she cries nonstop and refuse anything we offer her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe your son wants to continue his day activities and when this is prevented from him by parents putting him to bed he enter that &quot;panic mode&quot; I described before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for what can be done: maybe he is old enough to realize a punishment? I'm not expert so best to consult one, but one thing that comes to mind is to explain to him why sleep is important and tell him that if he will refuse to sleep, you will prevent him things he like in the day after for example no TV or no computer. Same way, when he does agree to sleep normally, award him in the following day explaining it's because he was a good boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe the above way of award and punishment is still too early in your case, but that's just something I have in mind and believe is a good way to educate the children when they can't or won't listen to plain words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T13:29:44.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4849" CreationDate="2012-04-16T15:00:05.370" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For starters, perhaps you're putting him to bed too early?  We start our son's (19 months) bed time routine around 20:00, and he generally falls asleep around 20:30-21:00.  He also wakes at around 5:45-6:00.  While he does take one nap a day (usually 1-2 hours), he is a year younger than your son, so I think it is possible that that should be plenty of sleep for your son even without the nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you are familiar with our &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/468/what-are-some-dos-and-donts-for-an-effective-bedtime-ritual&quot;&gt;&quot;do's and don'ts for an effective bedtime ritual&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, but it is worth reviewing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps a strategy of gradually making the evening less and less interesting might help.  Establish rules that increasingly restrict sources of entertainment as you near his bed time.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 hours before designated bed time, he has to stay in his room (except for bathroom breaks).  You can stay in the room with him to play with him and keep him entertained, but he should not be allowed to play in other rooms.  It may be helpful to coincide this with changing to pajamas, to help reinforce that &quot;now we are getting ready for bedtime&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 hour before designated bed time, no toys are allowed.  Only books, which you read with him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;15 minutes before designated bed time (or however long is required) is reserved for hygiene (last minute bathroom trips, tooth brushing, etc.).  Remind him that this is his last chance for a drink before bed time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once you hit bed time, stop all interactions with your son aside from reinforcing that it is sleep time.  Stay in the room with him until he falls asleep, both to enforce the rules, and to show that he's not really missing anything fun.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is that you are gradually making being awake less and less attractive, rather than getting into a conflict of wills by trying to force him to sleep when he doesn't want to.  There are plenty of situations where you can (and should) say &quot;you have to do what I say&quot;.  Unfortunately, sleeping is not something you can enforce (you can't &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; him fall asleep), and your son likely has figured this out.  You need to stick with rules that you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; enforce.  By removing everything that might make staying awake attractive, you may help remove his resistance to sleep without engaging in a power struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T15:00:05.370" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4850" CreationDate="2012-04-16T17:45:46.397" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know as there are a whole lot of studies out there.  However, I havre known many, many mothers who successfully breastfed while pregnant.  Everything that I've read says that if it is a healthy pregnancy, not to worry about breastfeeding... the La Leche League has this article about it which I found helpful when I was deciding what to do:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/bfpregnant.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.llli.org/faq/bfpregnant.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I concur that Adventures in Tandem Nursing is a great resource about this subject and also nursing a toddler and an infant..if you get that far in your nursing relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly, listen to your body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other related articles include:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thebabycorner.com/page/208/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.thebabycorner.com/page/208/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/special-situations/breastfeeding-while-pregnant&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following link refers to a study of 157 moms, but does not say when the study was done...http://kellymom.com/pregnancy/bf-preg/bfpregnancy_safety/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a study printed in 2012 between breastfeeding moms-to-be and non breastfeeding moms-to-be: &lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.lww.com/jnr-twna/Abstract/2012/03000/A_Comparative_Study_of_Breastfeeding_During.10.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://journals.lww.com/jnr-twna/Abstract/2012/03000/A_Comparative_Study_of_Breastfeeding_During.10.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;  It concluded: Results suggest that breastfeeding during normal pregnancy does not increase chance of untoward maternal and newborn outcomes. Nurses and midwives should give expectant mothers appropriate evidence-based guidance and focus attention on promoting proper nutritional intake based on lactation status during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2492" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T17:45:46.397" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-04-16T17:45:46.397" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4849" CreationDate="2012-04-16T18:18:52.693" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our son started doing this, we took the following tack:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With very rare exceptions, we make sure he takes a nap.  Sleep begets sleep, and a skipped nap in the middle of the day just means he'll be more tired, cranky, and (perversely) wound up at the end of the day.  Our escalating scenarios for the nap are a walk around the block in the stroller, followed by a drive on the freeway.  The latter is not a preferred method, because then someone has to sit in the car with him for his nap.   I should add that we do this only on  weekends, when we have time.  On weekday, he goes to daycare/preschool, and I think that having a room full of other children also sleeping gives him the peer pressure to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a bedtime routine, and stick to it.  That is, dinner -&gt; bathtime (very soothing) -&gt; brushing teeth -&gt; bathroom -&gt; reading in bed -&gt; sleep.  It'll take a while to establish, but once he gets the picture, then he knows what to expect.  Do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; turn on the TV during this process; it's too loud, distracting, and will just get him amped up again. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider his bedroom-- is it calming?  Is there a lot of stray light getting in there?  Can you use a white noise generator?  Is the room warm, or is there a draft that could make sleeping difficult?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you reading him to sleep?  I've found that rhythmic books, like those by Dr. Seuss, work the best.  I can slowly make my words longer and deeper, and it has a very soporific effect.  My wife has sat in on me reading to our son and has fallen asleep faster than he has listening to me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At a certain point, shut off the light and tell him it's time to sleep.  He'll get up, he'll protest, he'll run out.  Each time, pick him up, put him in bed, tell him you love him and that it's time to go to sleep.  The first time we moved our son to a toddler bed, he must have gotten up 15 times.  The next night, not once.  If you sit in there with him, he won't get scared.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are delaying tactics, like asking for food, water, or going to the bathroom.  I would only allow two or three of these requests to work; a hungry or thirsty child isn't going to sleep, and a child who needs to pee isn't going to sleep.  But a child who constantly asks for these things needs to have eating enough and peeing before bed made into their routine.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps.  Sometimes, it takes upwards of an hour for us to get him down, but at least he's not a cranky mess about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And here's a tip we just learned:  When he goes to sleep, he has a &lt;strong&gt;much&lt;/strong&gt; better chance of sleeping through the night if he does not fall asleep in physical contact with us.  If he falls asleep next to us, holding our hands, etc, then he wakes up at ~3am wondering where we are and roaming through the house, crying.  If he falls asleep with no physical contact with us, but with an inanimate object like a toy, then the toy doesn't leave; when that 3am period rolls around, the toy is still with him, so he sleeps better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="2423" LastEditDate="2012-08-20T17:44:57.920" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T17:44:57.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4856" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4860" CreationDate="2012-04-16T18:30:28.077" Score="10" ViewCount="516" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy is creeping out of 5 1/2. Right now we're dealing with a phase of &quot;Justifications&quot; We tell him not to do something but he starts with, &quot;I'm just&quot; or follows up with &quot;It was an accident&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to strongly discipline away justifications or when something is honestly done in error but at the same time I want him to understand that some justifications aren't appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think we're also hitting the phase of &quot;Devious plotting&quot; where he knows what he's doing. Thus the claims of &quot;Accident&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the advice I'm looking for is &quot;Circa late 5 to early 6&quot; Calling &quot;BS&quot; on a child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-04-18T12:03:32.823" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T12:03:32.823" Title="How do you handle a pre-schooler who tries to use excuses to justify his behavior?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4844" CreationDate="2012-04-16T18:31:06.433" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest sons used to do the same thing. Not because they were avoiding the conversation, but because they were (still are) highly distractable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what their reason for distraction, I don't believe you're being &quot;confrontational&quot;. I don't think it's inappropriate to expect your child to pay attention and listen to what you have to say, even for a 3 yr old. As long as you don't expect or try to have a protracted conversation and you keep it short and sweet as suggested (simply because he's very young right now), you're laying the groundwork for the rest of his growth and your roles and teacher and student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case, while talking to my kids, after they'd demonstrated per case that they couldn't maintain focus for the 15 sec convo I wanted to have with them, I'd cup my hands around their head at the temple and make a little tunnel just for our eyes then I'd say my piece. Then we'd go back to building mousetraps or carving quartz figurines or repairing the bandsaw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T18:31:06.433" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2338" CreationDate="2012-04-16T18:54:06.590" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answer: No.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The average person cannot afford the costs (planned or otherwise) of rearing a child. Without going into all the grocery lists, it simply makes no economic sense. At all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, these same people don't have a baby because of the cost. People have babies because of the value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never imagined being able to afford the costs of my children, but I'd absolutely do it every time i had a chance because the personal value is just ridiculous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T18:54:06.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2012-04-16T19:17:06.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would be better if your 3-year-old daughter will play with real toys like dolls or bricks more time than with iPad. She has to develop her cognitive ability, logic and knowledge about real world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So far she's been using the iPad maybe 2 to 5 hours each day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is too much. 1 hour a day would be enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;there's lots of info on limiting TV time and video games&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;iPad is almost the same as video game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also read book: “Kindergarten Is Too Late” by Masaru Ibuka&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2515" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T19:17:06.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4856" CreationDate="2012-04-16T19:36:36.740" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on the child, I believe 5-6 yrs is appropriate for lessons on consequences and it's relationship to responsibility. I'm sure one of the Pros here can cite materials, but my advice comes from personal experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is generally an age where you can have a reasonable conversation. They can remember to bring papers home &lt;em&gt;from school&lt;/em&gt; (or daycare or even home-care). They can follow the basic &quot;rules of the road&quot; &lt;em&gt;at school&lt;/em&gt;, can likely recite to you why they follow the rules and then tell you want will happen if they don't. In other words, they are familiar with consequences and I think a child this age is ready to link responsibility to those consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, where most parent's fall down is with clarity and consistency. For my part, when talking about their actions, I will usually point out what was done and what happened. I don't tolerate &quot;but i was just&quot; kind of justifications. &lt;em&gt;[tangent: i avoid using the word 'excuses' or derivatives as I believe that it has an inherently negative connotation]&lt;/em&gt; When they start coming, I tend to go into 'slam' mode...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No, Finn, it was not an accident. &lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt; were the one that was playing rough, &lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt; threw the brick (megablock) at Marceline and &lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt; were the one that made her cry. That is on &lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt;, not her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This 'slams' the door on further 'justifications'. It is usually followed by whatever the consequences need to be. So in the above situation, I'd say my piece, let it soak in for a couple seconds (basically waiting for reaction) and then go on to consequence phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This says clearly where the responsibility lies in a very plain and straight-forward manner without dwelling. Conversely, I apply the same technique when talking about &lt;em&gt;positive actions and handing out praise&lt;/em&gt;. Balanced reinforcement worked/works for me as a method of teaching responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, whatever your approach is, you must be consistent. There may actually be extenuating circumstances or a truly accurate justification, but you cannot change your approach depending on the situation and then expect the child to learn to own their role in particular events. Be prepared to have that conversation when it needs to be had, whether you're at the store, at home, on the subway or in front of relatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a hard lesson, and there may be tears involved (yours and theirs). But -- go you -- you have identified the need for an essential lesson, early. Whatever your approach, at this early stage I think you will be able to work on it effectively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2012-04-16T19:43:21.273" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T19:43:21.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2012-04-16T21:20:08.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Calculating ovulation by the days of your cycle will work reasonably well if the mom-to-be has a regular cycle.  If she has an irregular cycle, then she should start tracking her basal body temperature to find out when she is actually ovulating.  This website (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/) will give you a lot of great information about finding out when she is actually ovulating instead of just when she &quot;should be&quot; ovulating.  If the cycles are normal, then this won't be much of an isssue.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other good advice that has already been mentioned:&#xA;Stop birth control pills a few months before you're officially trying to give her body time to get back on track.  (Start tracking cycles during this time.)&#xA;Work on your weight, and exercise.&#xA;Quit smoking.&#xA;Keep a calendar tracking everything, sex, temps, periods, pregnancy tests. (If everything goes great, this is excessive, but if you have problems, it helps to have all this information tracked for several cycles when seeking medical help.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-16T21:20:08.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4862" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4872" CreationDate="2012-04-16T22:58:30.437" Score="2" ViewCount="331" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been taking monthly pictures of baby in his crib each month with a certain teddy bear from 0-12 months.  He's at 13 months now and I'd like to keep up the monthly teddy bear pictures, but he's already getting big to photograph in the crib.  Does anyone have any creative ideas for monthly pics from 13-24 months, preferably including the teddy bear?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T12:41:40.073" Title="Photos showing growth - ideas?" Tags="|toddler|growth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4863" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-17T07:38:05.643" Score="3" ViewCount="9658" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is currently in a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.summerinfant.com/Products/Nursery/Swaddle-Me---Speciality-Blankets/SwaddleMe.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SwaddleMe&lt;/a&gt; and has recently begun to wake herself up by getting her hand out and playing with her face This was always a slight problem but since she has started to seek her fist to chew on, it has increased exponentially. I have the SwaddleMe as tight as it can go and she can still break out of it. Is there anything more I can do to keep her hands in?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2333" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T21:30:51.943" Title="How do I prevent my child from freeing their hands in a SwaddleMe" Tags="|sleep|swaddling|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4863" CreationDate="2012-04-17T09:15:28.527" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she has developmentally outgrown the swaddle and is ready for a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewoombie.com.au/id17.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;woombie&lt;/a&gt; or similar one piece jammy cacoon. It zips up and provides more room for movement while keeping baby in a comfy pacifying swaddle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A similar effect can be obtained with a traditional square cloth swaddle by tying the ends in a knot around the chest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="48" LastEditorUserId="48" LastEditDate="2012-04-17T14:33:29.700" LastActivityDate="2012-04-17T14:33:29.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4865" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4916" CreationDate="2012-04-17T17:22:47.627" Score="6" ViewCount="358" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the early indicators to help determine if a child should be evaluated for Dyslexia?  At what age can the signs first be detected?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-04-23T17:55:20.853" Title="What are the warning signs for Dyslexia?" Tags="|learning|reading|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4850" CreationDate="2012-04-17T21:38:20.287" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will add a quick answer here since the new OB did investigate and call me back today.  Her summary, after looking into the matter, was that there are no good double-blind, high sample size studies done so far on whether or not breastfeeding is safe.  BUT the smaller studies do not show a risk of premature birth rates.  They do show a tendancy towards smaller, but not significantly smaller, babies at birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her conclusion was that if it was important to a woman to continue nursing that she should be able to do it, keeping in mind that there might be risks involved.  More research is needed to state a lack of risk conclusively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-17T21:38:20.287" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4867" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-18T07:43:07.897" Score="0" ViewCount="5114" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 20 year old female living at home with my mother, her boyfriend and my younger sister who is 12 years old. We live in a 3 bed council house. My mother has now discovered that she is pregnant with a baby boy and is now saying that me and my younger sister are going to have to share a bedroom. My sister and I do not get along at all. Also, I see it as wrong: in my eyes I am an adult and she is a child and we shouldn't be sharing a room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will being forced to share a room make our relationship worse?  Are there any strategies to help my sister and I share space without being at each others' throats the whole time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2518" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-04-18T17:28:14.657" LastActivityDate="2017-11-14T07:59:18.573" Title="Is there any problem with same-sex siblings sharing a bedroom when there is an 8 year age gap?" Tags="|siblings|pre-teen|adult-child|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4867" CreationDate="2012-04-18T07:53:06.927" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;While there may be laws on this in some countries I am certainly not aware of any (I am in the UK)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it may not be ideal for you, unless you have a bigger house it may be unavoidable, so you might want to look at ways to keep your privacy/sanity. Some cultures manage perfectly well with multiple generations sleeping in the same room (or in some deprived areas - extended families living in the same room) so it can obviously be managed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look at some of the cultural traditions that have grown in Japan you can get an idea of how to get some privacy/control when living in very close proximity. Try sites like &lt;a href=&quot;http://factsanddetails.com/japan.php?itemid=647&amp;amp;catid=19&amp;amp;subcatid=122&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://factsanddetails.com/japan.php?itemid=647&amp;amp;catid=19&amp;amp;subcatid=122&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everyculture.com/wc/Japan-to-Mali/Japanese.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.everyculture.com/wc/Japan-to-Mali/Japanese.html&lt;/a&gt; for examples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask for options - well, I guess moving out is always an option if you feel so strongly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2017-11-14T07:59:18.573" LastActivityDate="2017-11-14T07:59:18.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4865" CreationDate="2012-04-18T09:16:04.770" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dyslexia is more an auditory than a visual phenomenon it seems, and one of the early indicators is that kids that have a high chance of being dyslexic have trouble learning how to parse words into syllables, at age 5. But 'having trouble' means being worse than other, non-high-risk peers. I have no idea how good in absolute terms they should be, or how the game of parsing words into syllables is introduced though. But perhaps you can look it up more thoroughly based on this info. I heard it at a lecture on dyslexia, from a neuroscience expert. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T09:16:04.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4870" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-18T10:58:49.200" Score="2" ViewCount="247" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kid is nearly 3 years old and really enjoy eating. We have dinner together when I come back from work at around 20:00, and he eats a lot. His belly is really full then. Recently he wakes up during the night. I wonder if it is a bad thing to go to sleep with the belly full.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T12:44:26.827" Title="Is it a problem to go to sleep just after a big dinner?" Tags="|sleep|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4862" CreationDate="2012-04-18T11:27:41.330" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is a photographer, and she had tried something similar to this.  We had the baby propped up on a sofa between two teddy bears.  This wasn't working so we took a shelf off the wall and lay the teddy and baby on their backs then took the photos from above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look carefully at the photos you can see what was done, but it has produced a really nice and repeatable result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2507" LastEditorUserId="2507" LastEditDate="2012-04-18T11:40:11.737" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T11:40:11.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4862" CreationDate="2012-04-18T12:12:45.220" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's a fantastic idea to have recurring photos of the kids where the location remains the same. Especially in the first 2 years, changes happen so fast... I have lots of photos but I have neglected the opportunity you mention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, your son can probably sit still for a few moments, so you should be able to sit him somewhere and snap a picture within a few seconds. (Caveat: my toddler is nuclear-powered and will not sit still for any number of seconds. I'm thinking he's a statistical outlier so this should not be a problem for you.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for locations, if you have a house or a garden it would be interesting to see the changes in season and, if you keep it up long, even the changes over the years. Friends of mine do make photos twice a year with all the kids sitting on a big rock in their garden, or standing next to a tree. You can really see how kids AND nature grows in those pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't have a house/garden (I don't), then pick a memorable location in your home, e.g. in the middle of the living room. Or pick an outdoor location, e.g. standing in front of the family car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T12:12:45.220" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4870" CreationDate="2012-04-18T12:44:11.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adults often go to sleep with a full belly.  I am not sure why that would be waking him up? Certain foods can make sleeping more difficult, but assuming you are having healthy meals I don't see this as a problem.&#xA;Three year olds often wake up in the middle of the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would evaluate for night tremors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is he fully awake when he 'wakes up'?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does he scream when he wakes up or does he wake up like it is morning?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What does he do/need when he wakes up?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is he going back to sleep?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three year olds are just developing the idea of what fear feels like and often that makes them wake up at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about the food and the full belly, nor really the waking up, I would more deal with the situation until he stops waking up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-04-18T13:52:58.123" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T13:52:58.123" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4874" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4875" CreationDate="2012-04-18T14:04:35.690" Score="11" ViewCount="21776" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have four kids: a 9-year-old boy, a 6-year-old girl, a 4-year-old boy and a 20-month-old girl. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 9-year-old boy is in general a delightful, well-behaved, kind and considerate boy. Sometimes he becomes so overwhelmed by his emotions that he spirals out of control and becomes inconsolable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sometimes begins with some kind of mild but disrespectful remark which my partner or I let him know is not tolerated.  This often escalates immediately into him being flung into a rage complete with stomping, etc. In other cases the raging fit is triggered by one of his siblings pestering him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In either case we normally send him to his room until the rage turns into crying.  That usually signals that he has become consolable. Because it seems so obvious to us that he is having feelings that are just beyond his capacity to handle we try to let him know he's not in trouble it's just that the rest of us aren't going to be around the raging fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This happens a couple of times per week, and has been for some years. His teachers do not report this behavior at school.  His report cards and conferences indicate positive behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can I stop this and should I? How do I get to the bottom of it? Should I do something differently? Does anyone have a magical spell that will fix this?      &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="846" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-04T12:18:28.293" LastActivityDate="2019-06-04T12:18:28.293" Title="How to handle my 9-year-old's uncontrollable raging fits?" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|tantrums|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4874" CreationDate="2012-04-18T14:15:58.610" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry, no magic spell.  Sending him to his room until he can be spoken too is great.  Once you can speak to him give him the words for his emotions.  'I know you are frustrated because...&quot;  &quot;I know you are upset because you feel bad for your behavior&quot; etc.  Different behavior at school and at home is common (I find that both as a teacher and a parent).  It may be that he is holding it together at school until he gets home and feels comfortable enough to express his feelings (does he do it more often after school?)  Have you spoke with the pediatrician? It seems that this has been going on for a while so I recommend that as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck at keeping YOUR temper.  Love him, care for him, and, when appropriate, discipline him even if you know what is coming afterward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T14:15:58.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4876" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4880" CreationDate="2012-04-18T15:45:39.683" Score="15" ViewCount="40977" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler sleeps well at night, its getting him to bed part is really frustrating.  The main problem is that he won't let me leave the room until he falls asleep.  He is not scared to be alone, he just wants me to be there.  The problem is that, he can take 2 hours go to sleep.  If he wants to stay awake until he falls asleep, that is fine by me, but I want to be able to walk out of the room without him throwing a fit.  Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastActivityDate="2017-10-05T02:23:55.370" Title="How can I get my 2.5 year old to sleep on his own?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4867" CreationDate="2012-04-18T15:54:36.693" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you paying rent to your mother? If you are paying rent, you should ask for a reduced rent since you are no longer getting your own room. Is there a basement? Another room on the main floor - something like an office or a den? Consider moving to one of these rooms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are not paying rent, you are unfortunately going to have to abide by her rules. It's her house, and she can decide how she wants to use it. If you don't like the rules, you have the option of moving out. However, moving out, is not always feasible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 20-year old and a 12-year old sibling would rarely get along - given that you have so little in common at that point in your lives. However, you have to make an effort to do with what you have. Consider getting &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/40047675/&quot;&gt;room-dividers that also function as bookshelves&lt;/a&gt; to increase privacy. Treat her like an adult, and agree on some ground rules. Instead of being bossy, try to work things out. &quot;I like my privacy, and I am sure you do too, so how about we agree on a couple of things?&quot; This could include not sharing clothes, defining closet space, working out a time of the day where each of you are given privacy in the room, etc. The key is to &lt;strong&gt;treat her as your equal&lt;/strong&gt; instead of appearing to be entitled, simply because you are older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you understand that your new sibling (the baby) has to sleep somewhere. You have the option of sharing the room with the sibling, of course, but I would highly recommend against it. They sleep 16 hours a day, sure, but they wake up 10 times during the night too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T15:54:36.693" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4876" CreationDate="2012-04-18T19:13:24.370" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just do it!!!!!!&#xA;Leave the room.  Every time he gets up to find you don't talk to him or hug him just put him back into bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be sure he has lots of stuffed animals and books and let him know that he is welcome to play and read IN BED until he falls asleep but he is now old enough to go to sleep on his own.  Let him know you will check on him in 10 minutes and then do it.  Checking on him would mean coming in, saying good night again and leaving. (This may entice more crying, in which case stop this part) DO NOT come in because he is crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what we have done.  It is akin to 'crying it out' but at this age they can understand what they can do and why you are doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T19:13:24.370" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4874" CreationDate="2012-04-18T19:18:05.317" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may want to consider taking him to an expert for some therapy.  My son, who is generally loving and well-behaved, was having similar problems (albeit at a younger age).  He benefited greatly by seeing a specialist once a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the big benefits of working with a professional was not only what he got out of the sessions, but also that we were able to get advice on what we could do as parents for his specific case.  Lastly, because in my son's case his issues DID bleed into his school-life, we had a great advocate when it came to dealing with a difficult administrator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T19:18:05.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4876" CreationDate="2012-04-18T20:35:53.097" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell the kid to go sleep alone after your &quot;good night&quot; procedure of reading books etc., then leave. Now you're going from a Sleeping While You're There routine to a Sleeping Alone routine, and every change in life will cause the kid to readjust, understandably -- the kid perceives the change in routine strongly (kids love routines, because they guide them in life when they need a lot of guidance).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, this phase might take as little as 2 nights, and will be accompanied by crying. You can go back into the room, but increase the periods in which you do. If the kid's crying, this will get less and less, and in around a day or two the kid will have gotten it and be able to sleep alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, a kid sleeping alone will also be able to sleep more restful in night, because all humans wake up multiple times at night; the big difference is that some people -- some kids! -- have problems finding back to sleep alone. Solve the problem of having the kid go to sleep alone in the evening, and you might solve this problem too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my parenting, the hard part was not to let the kid cry for a bit during this day or two -- the hard part was always trying to prevent my wife from entering every 5 minutes. Entering the room during the crying will affirm the crying, and keep this Change Phase go on forever; bad for the parents, but even worse for the kid. The kid will accept as normal what you think is normal, so explain to the kid, then do it and believe in it. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2521" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T20:35:53.097" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2012-04-18T20:41:52.293" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see lots of well-intended medical advice here, but I would argue: forget about all of it and &lt;em&gt;just relax&lt;/em&gt;. I know &lt;em&gt;several&lt;/em&gt; parents who arguably tried &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;, yet failed and adopted kids. Guess what happens after the adoption went through? That's right: they got pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping calendar notes, adjusting your health, and thinking about the whole thing just way too much will be counter-productive, not helpful. Just relax, for starters; enjoy sex. Give this method a try for a year. If that doesn't work out, you can still go back to the medical advice routine and see what this does to you. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2521" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T20:41:52.293" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4874" CreationDate="2012-04-18T20:58:59.563" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to say what could cause it. Hormones. Stress. Tired. Frustrations at school.  Lifestyle changes. Or perhaps a chemical imbalance of some sorts. A trip to a psychologist might be worth it just to get a professional opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FWIW, our youngest does this when they are over-tired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-04-18T20:58:59.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2012-04-19T07:29:06.637" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might consider taking off the training wheels and the cranks, creating a &quot;balance bike&quot; or &quot;strider bike&quot;. This will allow your child to focus on one skill at a time, rather than balance and pedaling, they can focus on just balance. This is essentially the same as having them coast down a hill, but the child gets to control their speed and practice for longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-04-19T07:29:06.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4886" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-19T12:35:53.450" Score="10" ViewCount="577" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2nd grader is coming home talking about how there are two 'teams' (her term) of girls who talk about each other, are mean to each other, and try not to allow 'their friends' to be friends with the girls from the other social team.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter doesn't understand this, and while she doesn't like everyone (naturally) she is very upset and is having trouble navigating the social scene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have talked to her about being friends with everyone, that that is okay and the right thing to do, that talking about other children is not right and against our religion.  She agrees and wants to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I teach her how to do this, as it is not easy for adults, therefore more difficult for an 8-year-old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We talked this morning about playing with one 'team' at morning recess and one at afternoon recess as she does not have the power to solve the problem, although her desire to do this is great.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions on how to navigate this type of social scene (which I see as bullying from her perspective) would be most appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-17T13:05:00.613" LastActivityDate="2019-02-17T13:14:09.543" Title="How to teach an 8-year-old to navigate two groups of friends who forbid friendship with members of the other group?" Tags="|teaching|middle-childhood|bullying|socialization|peer-pressure|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4888" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-19T17:28:25.570" Score="3" ViewCount="571" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for a decent collection of classic children/nursery songs to play for my 3-year boy. The collections that I've found on Amazon are either poorly rated or, according to some reviewers, have issues with the performers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm specifically looking for the &quot;classic&quot; songs, e.g. Twinkle Twinkle, Old MacDonald Had a Farm, the alphabet song, etc. Preferably sung in English by performers with a neutral accent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="892" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T17:27:54.387" Title="What is a good compilation of songs in english for children that includes the &quot;classic&quot; ones?" Tags="|music|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2012-06-05T12:38:44.657" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4889" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4895" CreationDate="2012-04-19T17:42:09.890" Score="5" ViewCount="2025" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughters, age 8 and 10, would like to do some volunteer work, something like helping feed the hungry, helping injured pets, cleaning up parks, etc.  Something beyond helping with stuff at school, which we do when we can.  I know some folks whose churches do things, but we are not religious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've contacted some different orgs in our area but they all want kids to be at least 14 or 15.  I'm having a really hard time locating such orgs.  I would not object to getting them involved in volunteer opportunities organized by a religious organization &lt;em&gt;as long as&lt;/em&gt; there was &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; proselytizing of any kind involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where can I look to find such organizations or volunteer opportunities?  We are in Washington state if that helps...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I want to make it clear that we aren't just trying to unload our kids for a few hours -- my wife or myself would be 100% eager to be doing the work right next to our kids, or not if that's how it worked...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2525" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-04-20T04:22:16.270" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T21:41:23.740" Title="Ways to find (non-religious) volunteer opportunities for your children?" Tags="|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4890" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-19T18:09:48.560" Score="10" ViewCount="4788" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two daughters, age 8 and 10.  My 10 year old is very diligent and responsible and has always done her homework, chores, etc. without any reminders or coaxing.  So we have had a hard time adapting to our 8 yo daughter, who needs to be dragged/coaxed through every step of even the simplest and quickest of chores (clean the cat litter, put your dishes away, bring down your laundry, whatever).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is very stubborn (very close to being diagnosed Oppositional defiant disorder) and efforts to impose consequences (taking TV/computer time away, canceling playdates or dessert, etc) generally result in huge tantrums and dragging out the process for far longer than reasonable.  We almost never give in and let her off the hook, unless there are serious time/safety constraints involved -- which is rare since we have evolved to anticipate this behavior.  We've also tried incentives in terms of allowance schemes, earning TV/computer time, etc, which seems to have &lt;em&gt;zero&lt;/em&gt; effect on her motivation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The flip side of this stubbornness is that she is &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; diligent for any task she's bought into on her own - she will get her homework done immediately after school, works hard in sports, will feed the pets in a heartbeat, loves gardening work, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to make it clear that other than this one issue, this daughter is a delight in almost every way who makes us proud every day (poetry?) -- I'm not calling her &quot;lazy&quot; to be demeaning, she just is actually lazy in this one area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2525" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T17:45:40.020" Title="How can I get my strong-willed daughter to stop being so lazy when it comes to chores?" Tags="|chores|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4890" CreationDate="2012-04-20T00:04:56.637" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried the reward scenario? Our three get a small amount of pocket money every week. If they help out with chores they can earn more, and the amount depends on how onerous the chore is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they are saving up for some special toy they become very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a less commercial standpoint, have you looked at how you approach chores? If you always moan about them, your kids will not want to do them, however if you sail through them, talking to your kids while doing the chores, they will be far less put off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T00:04:56.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4886" CreationDate="2012-04-20T00:49:33.697" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this type of bullying or social castigation is especially common in female circles.  It's interesting that you posted this because one of our local morning radio programs spent a large portion of the show a couple of weeks ago discussing bullying, the new movie &lt;em&gt;Bully&lt;/em&gt; that's just come out, and they had some bullying experts on the show who pointed out some very important points about bullying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, they stressed the difference between bullying and conflict.  Both situations obviously make you uncomfortable, but bullying only occurs when there is an obvious  imbalance of power or strength and one child has difficulty defending him or herself.  Conflict, however, involves antagonism between two or more people, and it sort of sounds like what you have here is more conflict than bullying.  However, from my experience, in female groups bullying and conflict sort of go hand-in-hand (in other words, both groups are involved in spreading rumors and calling names which &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; bullying).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, there can be a slippery slope from conflict into bullying, especially if your daughter is concerned that if she spends time with both groups of girls that she will ultimately be ostracized by both groups--and social isolation is a common form of bullying.  Is she receiving negative feedback from either group because she's trying to hang out with both groups?  If not, then I think you're doing the right thing by encouraging her to be friends with girls of different groups and helping her manage her anxiety about that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if her friends are starting to turn on her because she's trying to be friends with girls from other groups, then that is something that needs to be addressed differently.  I don't have a great answer, but I can recommend what the local radio show told its listeners (and I know this will work for you since you're here in the United States).  They recommended that you contact your area Anti-Defamation League who has gotten really involved with its anti-bullying campaign and has a lot of stuff on its &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.adl.org/combatbullying/&quot;&gt;website&lt;/a&gt; about bullying.  If you can't find the answers on their website, you can contact them directly and speak to someone about your situation and they might be able to tell you how to handle the situation better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T00:49:33.697" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2012-04-20T03:03:43.327" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never seen anybody ask how much time is too much time spent reading, drawing, putting together puzzles, or playing board games. Yet as I see it, reading on a tablet is just like reading a book whose pages can never get ripped; drawing on a tablet is like fingerpainting that my daughter can do no matter what she is wearing; playing puzzles on a tablet is like putting together puzzles without the ability to lose pieces or mix them up with those of other puzzles; playing a game on a tablet is just like playing a real game but without having to worry about remembering the rules or keeping the pieces out of the baby's reach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for television, I'm OK with reasonably educational shows. If your child has to sit in a chair listening to talking for 5 hours a day, does it matter if it's in a school listening to a teacher versus in your living room listening to the TV? Of course &quot;school&quot; for toddlers&#xA;is generally a lot more engaging than the lecture-style classes of older kids, but it's generally not as educational either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prefer human interaction to watching TV, but there's no way I can compete educationally. For example, I can tell my daughter &quot;Remember, look both ways before crossing the street!&quot;, but on TV they can write a catchy song, choreograph a dance, make a skit with props and dialog, and then repeat it 10 times a day all month long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like plopping my kids in front of the TV all day, but other people in their lives do and honestly, I can't say that it seems detrimental to their mental development. When my 2-year-old starts leading an imaginary marching band, talking like a pirate, holding a toilet paper tube up to her eye and calling it a &quot;spyglass&quot;, or saying something in Spanish, I know it's because she learned it on TV. There's just no way I would even think to teach her all that stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="377" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T03:03:43.327" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4890" CreationDate="2012-04-20T04:21:56.850" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It appears that your child lacks motivation to do certain types of chores. She sees little interest in things that are &lt;em&gt;imposed&lt;/em&gt; on her, which is unfortunate, because in the real world few get to decide what they can work on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps there is a way to let her &lt;em&gt;pick&lt;/em&gt; her chores. I am a big fan of letting kids enter &lt;a href=&quot;http://rabidpaladin.com/post/2008/10/04/Capitalist-Experiment.aspx&quot;&gt;bidding wars over chores&lt;/a&gt;. The premise lies in that either the kids take $5 for the chore or they do it for free. I am not entirely sure if this will work for you - as your child is not interested in getting a reward at all, but...if you could add a &lt;em&gt;competition&lt;/em&gt; factor to it, maybe she will find motivation. She and your older daughter have to &lt;em&gt;bid&lt;/em&gt; on chores - and you judge bids based on price/timeline proposed/reliability. The person who wins does the chores and receives their bid value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also a little concerned that you gave into the &quot;huge tantrums and dragging out the process for far longer than reasonable&quot; that your daughter caused because she didn't want to do a chore. &lt;em&gt;Taking away something is completely reasonable.&lt;/em&gt; Be firm, be consistent, and show her the consequences of her actions. Don't let her treat you like her servant; take away the feelings of &quot;entitlement.&quot; If she is not doing simple things like putting her own dishes away (which is not a chore, that is a &lt;em&gt;good habit&lt;/em&gt; showing common courtesy and respect), consider doing things like serving her next meal on the dish she never picked up. Not bringing her laundry down? Oh well, I guess you are out of clothes. These are not outrageous things to do. This is a way of showing her that her actions, or inactions, have direct consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in a privileged world, yes, but that means that we have access to clean water and healthy food. It does NOT mean that we get to pick and choose only &quot;fun&quot; stuff to do in life. It's time you show her that fulfilling your responsibilities is part of growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T04:21:56.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4889" CreationDate="2012-04-20T04:29:34.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm about as atheist as they come, but still will help out with community volunteer efforts with the church. Point being that a lot of churches welcome all volunteers and aren't making it an overtly religious task, but rather a community task. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted, a lot of churches &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; make it a proselytizing event as well, so you may have to shop around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps focus on the Humanist/Unitarian side of the religious spectrum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other places to consider contacting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;local humane society&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;local va office&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;local parks/rec district &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;habitat for humanity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2012-04-20T14:06:02.553" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T14:06:02.553" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4896" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4907" CreationDate="2012-04-20T09:01:45.983" Score="3" ViewCount="44503" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first child is due any day now, and we've got a mouse infestation. We noticed it for the first time at my girlfriend's baby shower (lots of cakes and crumbs out), and since then we've started seeing it more frequently. I say &quot;it&quot;, but we suspect more than one of them, based on other people's comments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously we're trying to &lt;a href=&quot;https://diy.stackexchange.com/questions/13758/how-to-deal-with-mice-coming-into-the-babys-room&quot;&gt;de-mouse the house&lt;/a&gt;, but &lt;strong&gt;how concerned should we be about mice in a house with a child?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:22:11.663" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T14:21:46.900" Title="How concerned should we be about Mice coming into the baby's room?" Tags="|infant|newborn|hygiene|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2012-04-20T12:18:36.470" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As lgrtitz says, the key is consistency. The parent(s) must by completely dispassionate about announcing the numbers, and they must do it the same way every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use it, but it's hard for me to stay &quot;icy&quot; enough all the time. :7) When we do, though -- and my wife is good about it -- it works pretty well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will respond, but yeah, some of them do learn to wait for &quot;2&quot; before responding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T12:18:36.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4886" CreationDate="2012-04-20T12:22:19.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does your school have any programs or advice that you can build on? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My town has delivered clear messages -- in the elementary schools on up -- that bullying isn't acceptable. They're also quite clear on the wide range of behaviors that qualify.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can repeat these messages to her, and remind her of whatever mechanisms the school has put in place (e.g., telling a teacher) in order to get the help of an adult who is on the scene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More generally, it sounds like the 50/50 plan you suggested is a good start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-17T13:12:56.587" LastActivityDate="2019-02-17T13:12:56.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4890" CreationDate="2012-04-20T12:26:46.660" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A possibility is to have a family meeting with the stated goal of working out the reward(s) for chores. If you present the chores as a done deal, but meet to discuss &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; ideas for what they get for doing the chores, then you are far more likely to get buy-in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did this with our four (ages 13 to 4) and it's been perceptibly better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T12:26:46.660" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4867" CreationDate="2012-04-20T12:31:22.757" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Certainly your age changes the dynamic: when we had two younger kids sharing a room, ages 10 and 2, it was OK. But you are older now, and your bedtime habits are quite different from those of a 12-y.o. If you can't adjust, I don't see how you can avoid moving out. I'm sorry you're in such a difficult circumstance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you do it for a little while, say a few months, and then -- if your younger sister takes well to the baby -- could they move into the same room?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T12:31:22.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4849" CreationDate="2012-04-20T12:35:20.537" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We set up a routine and sick to it. Eventually they become conditioned to wind down when the routine starts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We brush teeth, then get tomorrow's clothes out, then read books (sometimes for quite a while, 45 minutes), then say good-night to everyone, use the bathroom, get into bed for a song &amp;amp; prayers, then lights out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often there will be some noise after that, but we ignore it, and they usually go to sleep shortly thereafter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T12:35:20.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4862" CreationDate="2012-04-20T12:41:40.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does he have a favorite blanket or quilt to lie on and be photographed from above while the bears lies next to him? It would be obvious he's not standing up, of course, but if the blanket is his must-have companion then it's nice to have in the picture anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An alternative is to find a picture of you from your childhood are replicate it. My mother-in-law was photographed in a particular dress as a very young girl, and then they repeated that picture of my wife. We, in turn, found the dress and took the very same pose of both of our daughters, and the combination of pictures is pretty fantastic. The more pictures of yourself that you could find to duplicate the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T12:41:40.073" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4870" CreationDate="2012-04-20T12:44:26.827" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children all slept fine after late-night feedings, and so I don't think this is any kind of danger or contributor to his waking up at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His schedule of bathroom use might become a little unusual, but kids are resilient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T12:44:26.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4889" CreationDate="2012-04-20T14:18:08.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our local, free newspaper is run by a guy who organizes a town-wide clean-up day every spring (among other things). If you have a similar paper in your area, consider sending them an email -- since it is easier to forward to the right person, possibly saving you a brush-off on the phone -- asking what they know about opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or better yet, call the library. OH, THE LIBRARY! Our library keeps a list of pre-teen kids who are willing to volunteer with the very young ones during craft activities, for example, or to listen to book reports during the Summer Reading Program. We love our library.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T14:18:08.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4896" CreationDate="2012-04-20T14:19:43.893" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some studies (&lt;a href=&quot;http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1065961.stm&quot;&gt;news article&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/05/03/01/that-little-mouse-in-your-house-is-even-more-dangerous-than-we-thought.htm&quot;&gt;another article&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091674907001704&quot;&gt;actual study&lt;/a&gt;) have shown that mice fecal matter could contribute to asthma, or otherwise cause allergies in young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In a study of eight cities, a team from Johns Hopkins University in&#xA;  Baltimore, US, checked the contents of dust samples from the homes of&#xA;  children with asthma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The team found that 95% of those samples contained mouse allergens,&#xA;  many involving feces or urine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other concerns include: mouse droppings can pose to be a choking hazard; mice can eat up your furniture, wiring, and insulation; they may clog plumbing etc. in your house, creating fire hazards; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://lsmalley1.xomba.com/dangers_of_rodent_infestation&quot;&gt;much more&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Murine Typhus Fever or simply Typhus is spread by the bites of fleas&#xA;  that have fed off of rodents. This infectious disease shows itself&#xA;  with a rash and other symptoms include headache, backache, a high&#xA;  fever that may last up to two weeks, nausea, vomiting, and abdominal&#xA;  pain. Treatment for typhus fever includes antibiotics and over 98% of&#xA;  people afflicted will recover. 10% to 60% of people who do not go on&#xA;  antibiotic treatment will not survive&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Living with a mice infestation is dangerous for human beings in general; it is only going to be more dangerous for a helpless child to be there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T14:19:43.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4896" CreationDate="2012-04-20T14:21:46.900" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No more than in a house without a child. Which is to say, &lt;em&gt;the mice have to go&lt;/em&gt;. Mice leak urine as they walk -- &quot;like drunken hoboes,&quot; as MimiSmartyPants so memorably put it last year. They're nasty little brutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, seal up your foundation. (I did it last year and it took half a bag of cement and four cans of spray foam. Thank you, lazy house-builder!) Then buy some spring traps, smear on peanut butter, and place them near the basement walls. Get ready to collect the little bodies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T14:21:46.900" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4890" CreationDate="2012-04-20T16:21:22.947" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds to me like you've been KO'd. I think the entire thing has been competition for who's in control of the conversation and the 8 yo person. Then there's another point that I'll make below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summary: It started at &quot;just do your chores&quot;. Then there's a punch-for-punch escalation in rhetoric until you get to the huge tantrum part, at which point you don't know what to do. She wins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know what? You're the parent. And one thing MOST parent's don't realize is that you are all-powerful over your kids. This means that at a moments notice, you can &lt;em&gt;change the rules&lt;/em&gt; to to get anything you want out of your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it's the slippery slope and you must remember the Spiderman Rule... &quot;with great power comes great responsibility.&quot; Abusive parents know they are all-powerful and they abuse it. Responsible parents use this power to teach their kids. In your case I'm recommending using this power to force your child into a learning situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Repeat and rephrase:&lt;/em&gt; My recommendation is that you &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; knowledge on your child about learning how the world works thru &lt;em&gt;en&lt;/em&gt;-forcing household duties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you can only do this if you control the conversation. Your daughter has learned that she can win the conversation thru huge tantrum. So you counterpunch by taking the tantrum away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next time she starts going off like that, grab and hug her. Bear hug. Pull her to your body and hold her tightly. Not like a prisoner, but like a daughter. Pick her up if you need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;hey... hey hey hey cut this out. this isn't necessary. sshh shhh. I know I know.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may start crying, she may push and strain and it may be uncomfortable, but hold her in this hug until she's calmed down enough to have a conversation. This whole thing is you changing the rules in your favor. You are using your position as unconditionally loving protector to take back the conversation. Such a protective stance will be unexpected to her. I would personally expect such comfort to end in tears. But the point of it is to have a necessary conversation so that you can both be productive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if she refuses to come down, you have other problems. Let her go and walk away &quot;I'm not talking to you until you stop this sh... crap.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it most likely will work. And once she's back down to reality, you own about :04 of a conversation. Use the time wisely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the point that I started to make at the top of the post: None of the previous answers have suggested that you talk directly to her. At 8 yo, she is an autonomous individual and it sounds like she's beginning to realize that a little earlier than usual. Therefore, I suggest that you talk to her as an individual. You seriously only have about 4 minutes before distractions start to take over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First question: &quot;What leads you to be like this about household duties?&quot; (not chores).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that point, the conversation is yours. Keep it succinct and focused because with an 8 yo, especially one that you know is distractable, you don't have much time to make your point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;sub&gt;side note: try to avoid the question &quot;why?&quot; or the derivative &quot;why can't?&quot; as these are keywords that lead to the universally hated &quot;Iono.&quot; (I don't know)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my part, I would ask her if she understands the importance to the household and her contribution to it. I would point out other responsibilites that she's clearly taken on herself and then &quot;if you can do that, how can you not do this?&quot; (again avoiding why)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I'd end with the confidence builder. &quot;I know you're capable of this, you show it when you do the other stuff&quot; kinda thing. &quot;Do &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; think you're ready for this regular responsibilty?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put it simply, I think you have an 8 yr old that is attempting to exert indepence over herself like a 10 or 11 yo would. This will not end well for an individual that is still a child and highly subject to rules of the house. However, I think that if you know what your boundaries are and stick to them, communicate &lt;strong&gt;well&lt;/strong&gt; with her and firmly discuss/negotiate the subjects of contention, then you can learn what her boundaries are as well as keep the home tidy (mentally and physically) with a minimum of stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;you might show her this to set the stage for communications: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/rational-discussion-flowchart/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/rational-discussion-flowchart/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-04-20T16:21:22.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4344" CreationDate="2012-04-23T02:15:41.497" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is similar to other answers, but hover and teach him to climb.  You will have to stay close by his side for a while.  I agree with @Swati that there will be times you will have to set limits about things that he can never climb and be consistent with those.  You should also teach him to climb up and down any chance you get.  If he's a climber, I think it's in his blood for a long time.  I was on the TV stand as a toddler, in trees throughout my childhood, and a rock climber in college and beyond.  There's just something about heights and the thrill of climbing.  So, teach him to climb up and down anything (other than no-no's) that he is interested in.  Let him try the big kid areas at the park.  Show him how to use his knees and toes.  Let him practice his balance on your lap while you move your legs side to side and up and down.  And, make sure there is plenty of practice coming down things instead of letting him crawl up and then rescuing him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-23T02:15:41.497" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4888" CreationDate="2012-04-23T14:50:43.423" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I checked out some Raffi CDs from the library and found a lot of the older songs (as well as the FANTASTIC song &quot;Banana Phone&quot; which I sing to this day). I think there was another CD called &quot;Toddler's Favorites&quot; but it also had one or two that set my teeth on edge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your kids like the album they will play it incessantly, so consider ripping the songs, deleting the ones that annoy you, and then burning a new CD with only the good ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-23T14:50:43.423" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4865" CreationDate="2012-04-23T14:53:17.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hope you don't take offense, but isn't this a thing to ask your pediatrician? Mine is great, and continually getting updated training, so I look to her for the most current information about things like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More generally, I would be watching out for other language-processing problems that aren't developing as quickly as you expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-23T14:53:17.663" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4876" CreationDate="2012-04-23T17:48:25.150" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you come in to calm down tears, you do it without words: just cuddling (as they stay in bed -- no picking up!) and patting and sushing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-23T17:48:25.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4865" CreationDate="2012-04-23T17:55:20.853" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncld.org/ld-basics/ld-explained/early-warning-signs/should-i-be-concerned-about-reading-difficulties&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;National Center for Learning Disabilities&lt;/a&gt;, persistent difficulties with reading, particularly coupled with frustration, are an initial indicator that you should be concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More specifically, there are a variety of warning signs for each age group, and matching three or more of these signs should be cause for concern (emphasis on &lt;em&gt;concern&lt;/em&gt;; always rely upon a qualified professional for actual diagnosis):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In Preschool&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;delayed speech&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;mixing up the sounds and syllables in long words&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;chronic ear infections&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;severe reactions to childhood illnesses&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;constant confusion of left versus right&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;late establishing a dominant hand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;difficulty learning to tie shoes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;trouble memorizing their address, phone number, or the alphabet&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can't create words that rhyme&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a close relative with dyslexia&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In Elementary School&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;May be slow to learn the connection between letters and sounds.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has difficulty decoding single words (reading single words in isolation).    &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has difficulty spelling phonetically.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Makes consistent reading and spelling errors such as:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Letter reversals - &quot;d&quot; for &quot;b&quot; as in: &quot;dog&quot; for &quot;bog&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Word reversals - &quot;tip&quot; for &quot;pit&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Inversions - &quot;m&quot; for &quot;w,&quot; &quot;u&quot; for &quot;n&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Transpositions - &quot;felt&quot; for &quot;left&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Substitutions - &quot;house&quot; for &quot;home&quot;    &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dysgraphia (slow, non-automatic handwriting that is difficult to read)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;letter or number reversals continuing past the end of first grade&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;extreme difficulty learning cursive&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;slow, choppy, inaccurate reading:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;guesses based on shape or context &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;skips or misreads prepositions (at, to, of) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ignores suffixes &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can't sound out unknown words&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;terrible spelling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;often can't remember sight words (they, were, does) or homonyms (their, they're, and there)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;difficulty telling time with a clock with hands&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;trouble with math &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;memorizing multiplication tables &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;memorizing a sequence of steps &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;directionality&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when speaking, difficulty finding the correct word &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lots of “whatyamacallits” and “thingies” &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;common sayings come out slightly twisted&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;extremely messy bedroom, backpack, and desk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dreads going to school &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;complains of stomach aches or headaches &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;may have nightmares about school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In High School&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;All of the above symptoms plus:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;limited vocabulary&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;extremely poor written expression &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;large discrepancy between verbal skills and written compositions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;unable to master a foreign language&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;difficulty reading printed music&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;poor grades in many classes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;may drop out of high school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In Adults&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Education history similar to above, plus:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;slow reader&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;may have to read a page 2 or 3 times to understand it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;terrible speller&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;difficulty putting thoughts onto paper &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dreads writing memos or letters&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;still has difficulty with right versus left&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;often gets lost, even in a familiar city&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sometimes confuses b and d, especially when tired or sick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some more resources are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dyslexiaanswers.com/warningsigns.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dyslexia-rx.com/WarningSigns/warningsigns.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dys-add.com/dyslexia.html#anchorSymptomsWarningSigns&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-04-23T17:55:20.853" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4917" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4925" CreationDate="2012-04-24T16:26:51.730" Score="16" ViewCount="2311" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been fairly against video games for my daughters (10,11,11) but I'm starting to rethink that. Currently their total &quot;Screen Time&quot; is limited. I might let (or even facilitate/encourage) them to shift some of their TV time to computer time if I can find an appropriate game. It's got to be better than the drivel they watch on TV.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect there are some games that would teach them some valuable skills (perseverance, patience, etc.). I'm thinking some sort of massively multiplayer game. They love games like Webkinz.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for any sort of valid (peer-reviewed) research as to whether (and why and how) video games would be beneficial for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1602" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-11T15:51:36.047" LastActivityDate="2022-07-21T13:33:32.663" Title="are there any peer reviewed studies showing the benefits of video games for kids (especially girls)?" Tags="|middle-childhood|video-games|screen-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4917" CreationDate="2012-04-24T17:26:00.933" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;A recent &lt;a href=&quot;https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11412-011-9136-6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;study by a group of researchers from the University of Gothenburg, Sweden&lt;/a&gt; claims that gamers not only learn to cooperate but also to understand complex contexts, understand how skills can be improved, and think through cause and effect relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They focused on complex games with portrayals of violence and aggressive action where the participants have to fight with and against each other. 'The situations gamers encounter in these games call for sophisticated and well-coordinated collaboration. We analysed what characteristics and knowledge the gamers need to have in order to be successful,' says Jonas Ivarsson, Docent (Reader) at the Department of Education, Communication and Learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It turns out that a successful gamer is strategic and technically knowledgeable, and has good timing. Inconsiderate gamers, as well as those who act aggressively or emotionally, generally do not do well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120402112828.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article summarizes some of the research, and contains the above quotes&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20130307181405/http://www.pri.org:80/stories/science/technology/benefits-of-video-games-1741.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; contains references to a number of other studies reputedly demonstrating benefits to gaming, but does not provide direct links to the research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the caveat is that for every benefit research demonstrates for video games, there are just as many studies that show some negative impact of video games.  My point in mentioning this is not to judge video games (I'm an avid gamer myself), but rather to point out that you should take any such research with a grain of salt, as the realities are much less black-and-white than the researchers on either side would have you believe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always use your judgement when considering allowing your children to play video games.  Direct monitoring of your children's video game habits, and the impact it has on them, is more important than abstract benefits or detriments described by research papers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2022-07-21T13:33:32.663" LastActivityDate="2022-07-21T13:33:32.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="4921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4890" CreationDate="2012-04-25T00:36:27.643" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a psychiatrist, but your daughter is exhibiting one of the classic symptoms of ADD/ADHD; a clear preference for putting short-term interests above everything else, regardless of rewards and punishments intended to dissuade her. I hear your account and I'm immediately reminded of my own childhood, having struggled with much the same thing growing up. I refused to clean my room, the dishes/cat box/laundry were a constant struggle, etc etc etc. But, when I'd gotten it in my head to do something, I was borderline OCD about getting it done well. I STILL have this tendency even decades later, though with age comes maturity (or at least the appearance of it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Traditional reward/punishment reinforcement is less effective on a child like this, because the child will quickly realize the reward or punishment is not a natural consequence of the action. &quot;I get to go to the park if I clean my room? But I can go to the park with my room a mess; cleaning my room doesn't make a trip to the park possible&quot;. They will then become interested in the reward, separately from the work to be done (because they know the work doesn't make the reward possible, so it must be possible now), and the reward itself will distract them from the work. As for punishments, they're unpleasant; an ADD child will thus &#xA;look for ANYTHING to take his mind off the impending punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, the trick is instead to get them interested in the task itself in some way, and then once they've become focused on it they'll pick it up and carry it through to the end. ADD is, IMHO, mislabeled; ADD children in fact have extremely high abilities to focus and long attention spans, &lt;em&gt;provided&lt;/em&gt; that whatever they're focused on interests them. Once it no longer holds their interest, or if it never did in the first place, they will actively look for something else to be interested in. Your task is to harness that focus instead of fighting it, by capturing their interest in what you actually want them to do (and not preoccupying them with something they can look forward to later).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is easier with some chores than others. Household cleaning tasks like mopping the floor are chores a child like this will more readily pick up; It's something they can focus on, there's an immediate result to their work, and it smells nice (always a plus for girls), so set the bucket and mop in front of them and after a little whinging they'll get into it. Same with vacuuming; there's an instant reward of clean fluffy carpet and no more cat hair on the couch cushions. Cleaning rooms is harder to get them into usually because they let it go so long, but also because the scope of the work seems insurmountable and any initial effort they put into it doesn't seem to be making a dent. Dishes are similar; there's often an additional downside that some pots take some hard scrubbing, and some meals just stick to plates worse than others (&quot;She used THAT pot to make dinner? Ugh, I'll NEVER get that clean again&quot;, or &quot;Fondue? Ugh, that cheese sauce is like rubber cement&quot;). Offer to help. Many hands make light work, and when the child sees the work progressing they get stuck into it more easily. Offer to mow the lawn in shifts, three laps at a time; that allows them to take a step back and see the impact they're having. Offer to help fold the laundry that the kids run through the washer. In addition to reducing the seemingly-insurmountable task you've presented them with, you also get to monitor the quality of their work (&quot;Oops, this dish still has a tomato seed stuck on it, you'll have to get that scraped off and run it again&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to keep in mind is that if a job is distasteful enough for you to want to delegate it, there's probably something to be said for trying to make that job less distasteful in general. Contrary to the &quot;Calvin &amp;amp; Hobbes&quot; dad's mentality of &quot;it builds character&quot;, the reality couldn't be further from the truth; every time that difficult or disgusting chore has to be done it only further reinforces their hatred of whatever is difficult about the chore, and of the chore in general (and Calvin realized pretty quickly that every time he &quot;built character&quot; by doing it the hard way, Dad saved time and/or money). If you don't want to clean a smelly, bacteria-ridden cat box, they probably will have the same problems with it that you do. Perhaps it's time to invest in a self-scooping box, reducing the maintenance to emptying the waste bin, topping off litter and sweeping up stray granules. If a child sees cleaning their room as an insurmountable task, they might have a point; they may have accumulated so many toys and clothes that when all of it gets bulldozed out of the rest of the house into their room for them to deal with, there simply isn't enough storage space to accomodate it all. A second look at the situation may be called for; you can increase storage space pretty cheaply with baskets on shelves, and/or you may ask your kid to rummage through the pile and make a snap decision to &quot;keep&quot; or &quot;donate&quot; each item they own. If a certain pot or cookie sheet or basting brush just never seems to come clean no matter how hard you scrub, your kids aren't going to have any more success; maybe you should consider retiring that dish or cooking utensil. Look for clothes with easier care instructions so you don't have to be as picky about water temperature and like colors (and if there's anything that's real important to you, wash it yourself). And maybe, just maybe, Grandma's recipe for aged oxblood haggis with Swiss cheese sauce should accidentally be dropped on a lit burner, so nobody has to deal with cleaning up the pot it was cooked in ever again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try making the job look smaller. A child could look at a room strewn with dirty clothes, toys and books and think it impossible. So, consolidate the mess. Bring in two boxes, a laundry basket, and a trash bag, and have them start in one corner of the room and make a snap decision about each thing in it. Clothing? Laundry basket. Book? First box. Toy? Second box. Trash? Bag it. When they're done with that, you take the laundry basket and the trash bag away; that's up to half of what they had laying around, gone. Books are easy to put away; that's up to three fourths of the mess taken care of in about 5 minutes. The last box is toys. Tackle the big stuff first; large self-contained toys without a lot of small parts are easy to grab and put in their proper place. Then you organize what's left, putting small parts with larger toys they belong to. By this time you can probably downsize the original box-o'-toys to something smaller, and the child is sitting on the edge of her bed in a pretty clean room organizing the last little bits. The only thing you have to keep an eye out for is the child beginning to play with the toys they're supposed to be putting away in this last bit. A little bit of play as the toy goes from the box to its proper storage is fine, but if they've fooled around with a toy for a couple of minutes you can suggest they come back to it later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, instead of assigning one chore to each family member, encompassing an entire family's detritus in that area of home maintenance, have each family member handle their own portion of the chores to which everyone contributes input. When you get up from the table, take your plate, silverware and glass to the sink, rinse them off and put them in the dishwasher. Everyone sorts, folds and puts away their own laundry. Not all chores can be divided this way (you can't really divide up a cat box), but for the ones that can, you create a sense of individual responsibility for cleaning up one's own messes without making them responsible for everyone else's as well. You also get everyone in the family involved in the chore at the same time, instead of one kid facing the cleanup while everyone else heads off to relax or have fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hard part of all of this will be the last 10-20% of any job that needs to be done. Once you've got them interested they'll make a big push at it, then at some point they'll look around, see the results of their work so far and how much of an improvement they've made, call it &quot;good enough&quot; and lose interest. Even adults have problems with this; they'll have put their effort in, made a huge dent, but then be stuck with the last little details that seemingly don't matter until you look at the job with a microscope, and they'll call it &quot;good enough&quot; and move on. This is classic 80/20; 80% of the effort goes into 20% of the finished product and vice-versa, and many people, of all ages, simply don't have that kind of patience. Unfortunately, I honestly don't have a good answer for holding a child's interest until the job is completely finished, because it's bigger than ADD; it is, as I said, human nature for a large chunk of the population.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many kids, especially kids identified as ADD/ADHD, will not respond to a typical reward/punishment disciplinary model. The child will be able to separate a reward or punishment that isn't a direct effect of the job, and so the reward and/or punishment will actually distract them from the task and have the opposite effect than desired.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The trick in these cases is to interest them in the task itself; once they're interested, they will stay focused for the majority of the work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your strategy will differ based on the type of work you want them to do, but generally you want to either avoid or push past the initial lack of interest:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For jobs where a little effort has visible results, just get them started on the job however you can, and the results their effort brings will draw and hold their interest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try sharing the load, in various ways; make each member of the family individually responsible for the messes they create like dishes and laundry, and offer to share the work of jobs that just have to happen like lawn mowing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small chunks help. Get them to mow one contained area of the yard; that area is then &quot;done&quot; and they can be proud of that and more willing to move on to other parts. This can be easily combined with sharing the load; by dividing the work, the part the child has to do is smaller and easier to manage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For jobs that can take a lot of effort with no visible result, structure the job to get some up-front results. A room can look a lot cleaner very quickly with an initial round of quick sorting into boxes or baskets according to the type of detritus. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For distasteful jobs, make them less so; if you would rather delegate the task than do it yourself, ask why, and see if there is a feasible way to reduce that displeasure.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In some cases you may actually be asking the impossible without realizing it. Take a step back and look at why the child is dragging their feet; they may know something about the job that you don't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise helps. Praise for doing the work &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a direct cause-effect relationship, unlike material or &quot;enrichment&quot; rewards. Praise them for hopping to it, praise them for what they've done so far, praise them for completing the job.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Demonstrating fairness and consistency helps. If Dad doesn't want to mow the lawn (his assigned chore) in a given week, that may be his prerogative, but it's easy for a child to see this and draw the same conclusion about their own assigned chores. If a chore goes undone by the person whose responsibility it is, they should be able to be called on it by any other family member, parents included.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unless your child is borderline OCD and really sticks with a job, at some point during the last 20% of the work they will be prone to losing interest. While all of the above helps to reduce this in an ADD child, this behavior goes beyond ADD to basic human nature; at some point a person will call it &quot;good enough&quot; and want to move on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2012-04-25T19:25:43.627" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T19:25:43.627" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2012-04-25T05:06:32.453" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's one data point I just read in this research item: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/11/17/want-smarter-kids-space-them-at-least-two-years-apart/&quot;&gt;birth spacing and reading and math scores&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Excerpt: &quot;a one-year increase in spacing improves reading scores for older children by 0.17 SD—which would be three times the effect of increasing annual family income by $1,000.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="895" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T05:06:32.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4924" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-25T14:47:04.163" Score="5" ViewCount="141" Body="&lt;p&gt;How does a parent go about choosing a specialist doctor?  Yes I have the pediatricians recommendations.  However, usually I would also ask friends, however the specialist I need to see is not a popular one so I am not sure how to trust the person I see.  Is the internet a good source of information about Doctors?  Where else can I get Doctor evaluations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well, on a similar note, how do I evaluate the advice of a doctor?  Must I seek a second opinion or is research on the internet enough?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-04-25T15:45:39.100" LastActivityDate="2012-05-03T17:17:35.833" Title="Choosing a Doctor" Tags="|doctor|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4917" CreationDate="2012-04-25T16:01:27.423" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing to remember is that games are often &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; social activities, especially at that age and at this time. Even single-player games are played &quot;with&quot; people, in the sense of discussing them, watching someone else play them, talking about them. With MMO's, this problem is doubled. One important thing about a lot of studies is that the boundaries for this have shifted, since the percentage of kids playing computer games has steadily risen over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means that you need to apply the same cautions that you would with any social activity. &lt;strong&gt;Are they spending time with people you trust? Are they spending too much time on that activity to the exclusion of others?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, you need to consider the same factors for &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; allowing them to play. Does it mean they will be excluded from their social circle, because they won't have shared experiences? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Beofett says, &lt;strong&gt;there are plenty of peer-reviewed studies&lt;/strong&gt;, and a good sampling of the ones in favour of gaming can be found in &lt;a href=&quot;http://janemcgonigal.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Jane Mcgonigal&lt;/a&gt;'s &quot;Reality is Broken&quot;. I have to admit, I haven't gone so far as to check her sources, but it's a good primer on the positive aspects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I answered a very similar question with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4537/147&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; (Note: anecdotal rather than peer-reviewed)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T16:01:27.423" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4924" CreationDate="2012-04-25T19:34:38.167" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We always start and end with personal recommendations, but you're right that doing so can be difficult to get for specialities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read their biography on the hospital web site. How does it compare to their peers on the same staff? Does your pediatrician know the other doc, or just their reputation? Can your pediatrician comment on the facility as a whole?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who are they affiliated with: a university, and/or a big hospital, or just private practice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hit the web and search out their names. Do you find recent publications (indicating current skills), or participation in conferences/education, or any articles discussing charity work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last, ask your pediatrician for multiple names, and have an initial meeting with more than one of them. It's your child's health, so feel free to shop around as long as you have time: we got the name of a dermatologist, but they weren't taking new patients so we got someone else in the same practice. Well, we didn't like them, but then we found a third doctor who we got along with well and who gave us sound advice with clear explanations. It's hard and can take extra time, but it's worth it to meet a few people before choosing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T19:34:38.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4863" CreationDate="2012-04-25T19:59:42.663" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that your daughter may have outgrown the swaddle you're using. However, my own daughter is only a month old and can work her arms free of a SwaddleMe or a Halo SleepSack Swaddle given a few hours, unless the swaddle is drawn up very tightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I disagree with some of the comments; tight is not necessarily bad. You certainly don't want it loose, because then they just break out of it. Most parents do not swaddle tightly enough, leading to this problem. A &quot;tight&quot; swaddle has enough room for your child to breathe comfortably (it doesn't take much) but keeps their arms pinned. Contrary to initial fussing, babies feel comfortable when swaddled very firmly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is old enough to have conscious control over her arms (as in when you put her in the swaddle she will actively and intelligently wiggle her arms free relatively quickly) then she has probably outgrown the &quot;arms-in&quot; swaddle method in general. If not, then I would focus on tightening the swaddle around her shoulders; that will allow some movement and keep her abdomen free to breathe, while restricting her ability to actually get her hands out the top of the swaddle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also try a swaddle with a different material. Most swaddles including the SwaddleMe brand are made with a fabric that will stretch relatively easily. While these fabrics are nice and soft to the touch, the stretching can limit your ability to get the swaddle as tight as you need. Complicating this with the SwaddleMe brand is that the hook side of the velcro is just a couple square-inch tabs, so there's more limited adjustment range. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By contrast the HALO SleepSack swaddles have long strips of the hook material that can securely adjust over a very wide range of tensions. However, the HALO brand aren't designed for use with a 5-point harness (and you should not attempt to use them when the child must be harnessed). We use both regularly, but generally prefer the SleepSacks when she's not in a carrier or car seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In either case, a swaddle made of a stretch fabric can stretch out over time. The SleepSack we got from the hospital is especially bad; it's &quot;newborn&quot; size but when she's wrapped firmly in it the velcro doesn't meet up. We have two other SleepSack swaddles, one exactly the same but issued from a different hospital and handed down to us, and one made of a microplush material that isn't near as stretchy. Both of them provide a much more secure swaddle with less stretch and more positive velcro contact, and we generally prefer these when putting her down for the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2012-04-25T21:30:51.943" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T21:30:51.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1925" CreationDate="2012-04-25T21:28:46.547" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I'm not a medical doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist or even a certified counselor. Though I can't speak for anyone else I would bet that these types of individuals would not be lurking on sites like this waiting to dispense free professional medical advice to someone across the aether. If you think, as a parent, that you need to consult a professional, then I would do so and not waste time with advice (however intelligent and informed) from perfect strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this sounds like normal testing of limits. He's wondering if there is any point at which you'll &quot;give up&quot;, and is systematically trying to figure that out. Unfortunately, that requires you to outlast him; you have to consistently punish him for misdeeds that harm others, including animals (I decline to pass judgement on the question of &quot;abuse&quot;, save to reiterate that if what he does to animals concerns you, you should seek immediate in-person guidance from a professional, not from Internet commentators).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first sentence in your question seems to be refuted by the rest of it; not the part that he receives punishment, but that he fears it. He does not seem to want to avoid punishment. This may indicate he perceives it as &quot;normal&quot;, which may in turn indicate you are overusing punishment. Examine the boundaries you have set for him and the punishments for crossing them. If the punishment is consistently &quot;one warning, then time-out&quot; for any offense, that's unrealistic; you don't get a warning for dangling the cat by the tail. Conversely, screaming or other undesirable verbal calls for attention can simply be ignored until they become destructive; reacting to undesirable but non-destructive behavior reinforces a lesson that it's easy to get a rise out of you. Consistently enforcing the rules and implementing punishments where they are expected is key, but the punishment must also fit the crime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the punishment is always the same regardless of the bad behavior, then all things bad are &quot;equally bad&quot;. His reaction to the punishment then becomes normalized; no matter how light or severe the standard punishment is, it's &quot;normal&quot; because that's what he always gets when he does something. Varying the punishment according to the severity of the bad behavior, while keeping the penalty for specific misdeeds consistent, will teach him that some things are bad because they are annoying and disruptive, while other things are bad because they hurt people, and the first category isn't &quot;as bad&quot; as the second, though because there is a punishment it's still &quot;bad&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hear a lot of &quot;stick&quot; in your disciplinary method. What about the &quot;carrots&quot;? How do you positively encourage and reinforce desirable behaviors? The absence of punishment is not a reward. If he takes your hand and walks by your side across the street, tell him that you like that and verbally praise him. That reinforces what he's doing as he does it. When discipline becomes too much about punishment, a child may genuinely not know what they SHOULD do. This is especially true if they try good behavior and are snubbed. If your child comes up, takes your hand or shirttail and says &quot;Mommy?&quot;, you need to respond to that immediately and positively. If you say &quot;not now sweetie&quot; and try to continue what you had been doing before, that's a snub; that didn't get the result he wanted, which was you paying attention so he could ask you something. That discourages the good behavior; he knows it doesn't get results. The fact that you may be on an important call trying to take down facts and figures for something else important doesn't matter in the slightest to him; his next step will be bad behavior, because even though it'll get him punished, you turn to face him when he does it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can in fact become a game; Do A, get ignored (even though that was good behavior, because Mommy has other things to do). Then, do X, get warned, do X again, get sat down on the naughty step. It's formulaic, predictable cause-and-effect; exactly the kind of stuff 5-year-olds like in their entertainment. By provoking punishment, he's getting a predictable rise out of you. The solution is to not make it worth his while. By going through this Kabuki theater of getting down to his level, saying &quot;no&quot;, picking him up and depositing him on a chair in the corner, getting down to him again and telling him why he's being punished, then watching him serve his sentence, you're giving him a relatively big reaction to anything bad he does, and at that age it can be fun to press Mommy's &quot;mad button&quot;. If, instead, you simply pick him up, plop him on the seat and say &quot;5-minute time-out for pulling the cat's tail&quot; while heading back to what you'd been doing, that's trivial for you, but now he has to sit on the seat for 5 minutes straight. Now the punishment is obviously more inconvenient for him than you, when previously it was evenly divided if not actually biased against you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than this strong-willed disregard for rules, how is he doing developmentally? Is he reading and counting (or at least learning his letters and numbers)? How well is he talking? Has he been potty trained? If so, has he regressed any with regards to accidents? If there's just one area where he seems to not be getting with the program, that's one thing that indicates a need for correction, but if overall he seems a little behind other kids his age, then I would seek further help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T21:28:46.547" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4930" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4932" CreationDate="2012-04-25T21:35:02.530" Score="13" ViewCount="93390" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a baby that is a little over a week old and it seems like after some feedings she is spitting up what looks like her entire meal (breast feeding).  I've been weighing her and she still seems to be gaining weight.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is still gaining weight, is this something I should be worried about or is this just something that babies do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2511" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T12:51:07.067" Title="New born seems to be spitting up entire meals. Should I be worried?" Tags="|newborn|health|breastfeeding|feeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2012-04-25T21:47:42.203" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give? Don't try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me explain. Stress and conception are not compatible. The scheduling, the worrying about whether she will get pregnant this month so the due date will coincide or not coincide with family members' birthdays, the constant testing and charting, the exceitement that everything says she's ovulating, the automatic feel of lovemaking... all of that just reduces your chances, because the excitement produces higher blood pressure and an increased immune response, both of which are barriers to conception and implantation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relax. Take a deep breath. Ask God to grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change... and then enjoy tearing up the sheets (or the couch cushions or the kitchen counter if you're trying for your first little one) whenever you feel like it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I speak from experience here. My wife and I, after moving into a new rental townhome with plenty of space to start a family, decided to give it a try. We tried for several months, and in the process we bought our first house. Nothing. We eventually gave up for a while, and she got interested in getting her tonsils out. The day before the procedure, she goes in for her pre-surgery labs... and they send her home because she's pregnant. I found the NuvaRing she was supposed to be using for that month in the refrigerator; it had slipped her mind. Our little one is now a month old, the most perfect little girl in history, and she definitely didn't happen by charting mucus consistency and basal thermometer temperatures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T21:47:42.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4930" CreationDate="2012-04-25T21:58:26.107" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something babies do. What looks like her entire meal is more likely a lot of drool and mucus, some stomach acid, and just enough breast milk to tint it white. There are some situations where a large amount of milk/formula gets burped up, and this is usually one of two situations; an overfull stomach (some babies will eat to bursting; the reflexes involved may allow for nothing else) or air behind a large amount of milk/formula (usually happens when feeding a baby on their back or side). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies, especially brand new ones, don't have all their systems working perfectly in concert yet. Over the coming weeks you may notice she may not poop for a day or even two, though she's eating plenty, and then she'll have a massive blowout. That's her peristalsis movements trying to get in gear in fits and starts. The stomach is similar; she'll hold formula for a while without really processing it, then she'll get a burst of stomach acids that will cause heartburn, belching and spit-up. It will all calm down and get into rhythm within the first couple of months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as your baby is gaining weight and appears satisfied after feedings, you're just fine. Just keep a receiving blanket or burp cloth handy to put over your shoulder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things you can do to reduce spit-up include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More frequent burping; if you normally switch breasts in the middle of a feeding, burp her when switching.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feeding in a more upright position; instead of the cross-body hold or the football, try reclining about 30-40 degrees and then laying her along your stomach, on hers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making sure she's got a good latch and is not sucking air as she feeds.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watching what you eat; the baby eats what you eat, so compounds in your food that cause belching and gas for you will show up in your breast milk and cause belching and gas for your baby too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you were formula feeding I would have recommended trying a formula designed for sensitive stomachs and/or spit-up reduction. These contain proteins that are more broken down than traditional milk-based products, and rice starches to make the formula thicker and less likely to be regurgitated. They work; my wife wasn't able to breastfeed and so we've been bottle-feeding a mix of pumped breastmilk and formula, and have noticed when we use the &quot;for fussines and gas&quot; and &quot;spit-up&quot; formulations it really does help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2012-05-14T16:10:18.607" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T16:10:18.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4769" CreationDate="2012-04-25T22:23:55.357" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's the normal list for my 1mo daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hungry (most common, especially if the last feeding was more than two hours ago, though she feeds on demand so we've seen her take a 4oz bottle and then want another one in 30 minutes, then sleep for 4 hours after that)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gassy (and burpy and hiccupy; most common when it's not hunger)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Want Mommy/Daddy to hold her (this basically encompasses bored/scared/lonely and is maybe 20% of her crying)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;PURPLE crying (often labelled &quot;colic&quot; and lumped in with gas/heartburn/stomach upset, PURPLE crying is actually different, and generally occurs in the evenings. It is hard to soothe, but Dr Karp's 5 S's work wonders)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T22:23:55.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4778" CreationDate="2012-04-25T22:34:03.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll buck the trend here and say if you have a jogging/offroad stroller (something with inflatable tires that will stand up to a gravel trail), get a carrier for that stroller and use that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a Baby Trends system (Expedition ELX) that has a jogging stroller, carrier and car seat base. I love it; it rolls around effortlessly, maneuvers like a dream, and cushions the bumps and pits in the parking lot and sidewalk much better than a standard stroller. The one thing I wished it had that it doesn't (and I can't find it on any jogging stroller) is a trigger for the front wheel lock up on the handlebars; if you want to start jogging, you have to bend down to the front wheel and flip the latch; to round that sharp corner, you have to release the lock (or raise the front wheel off the ground; not an easy thing to do smoothly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantage of putting the baby in a car carrier and stroller is protection. The car carrier is designed to protect your baby in a car crash. If you're hiking with the baby in a front carrier, and stumble and fall, you can seriously injure yourself and your baby. By contrast, even if the stroller tips over your baby will be relatively safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T22:34:03.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2012-04-25T22:48:50.770" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can think of several good reasons why you should still have a bedtime and a time limit on PC use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Even at 18, you're still developing. Developmental changes continue to occur after puberty winds down, well into your 20s. Though you're mentally capable of making your own decisions (and being held responsible for them), your body still needs plenty of sleep, and that can still be disrupted by late-night PC use or being accustomed to being awake so late.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Staring at bright lights just before bed is bad at any age. Pretty much everyone besides TV manufacturers who have a say about TVs in the bedroom say it's a bad idea. The bright light right in your eyes decreases melatonin (your body's natural sleepy chemical) and disrupts your sleep patterns. Having the TV also tends to make you stay awake longer watching it. Computers, tablets, e-readers, even smartphones are all the same in this regard.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Since the nature of the question and your position as &quot;the oppressed&quot; doesn't lend itself to you volunteering much self-incriminating info, we can't be sure, but you just might need it. Your parents have raised you, and had to deal with you every day for 18 years. If you are cranky the day after you go to bed at 2, or even if you're in bed by 10:30 but spent all evening up to bedtime playing Mass Effect 3 and don't sleep well as a result, they are the ones who will know, possibly better than you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your parents live there. THEY have a bedtime. Your PC use and staying up can disturb them. Old folks need sleep too, and we get cranky when we don't get ours.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Its your parents' house, and their rules. You are still their child and expected to abide by their rules while in their house. Get used to it; those expectations won't go away just because you get a job, move out, get married, or even give them grandkids; they're not going to be keen on you staying up past midnight while you're home visiting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T22:48:50.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4636" CreationDate="2012-04-25T23:13:17.773" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my daughter, I burp at the end of every bottle, or if she starts becoming fussy at the nipple I'll burp her then too (to make room for more). She tends to drift off when she's sated, so if she's fussy she's either in gas distress of some sort or we've been trying WAY too hard to get her to take a bottle she doesn't want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When burping, I'll generally use a flat open palm with curled fingers (providing a relatively flat, not-floppy surface) and pat firmly about twice to three times a second. If a few minutes of this does not result in a pretty audible belch, she didn't suck much air when she was feeding (certain bottles are better at this than others; we've generally had good results with the Playtex VentAire series. It's all about nipple shape, proper flow for your baby's age, and preventing air mixing with formula as the pressure in the bottle normalizes) and I don't worry much about her not burping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, I will also leave her in a reclined position after feeding for a few minutes. Not enough time for bubbles to enter the intestines and become gas, but enough time for the bubbles to consolidate towards the top of the stomach. This generally reduces spit-up in my experience, while giving that satisfying belch that lets me know she's got it out of her system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-04-25T23:13:17.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4930" CreationDate="2012-04-26T16:35:13.800" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;They spit up a lot. &lt;em&gt;shrug&lt;/em&gt; I just kept a spit cloth (for which read: fabric diaper) on my shoulder for a few months, and we did laundry all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All four of our kids had some reflux that contributed to this. Our pediatrician said that many kids are born with a stomach valve that doesn't &lt;em&gt;quiiiite&lt;/em&gt; close all the way, and as they grow after birth this just finishes developing. [note: I may be mis-remembering this or have just misunderstood it at the time. Anyway, the important idea is that &quot;they often grow out of it.&quot;] But she didn't seem surprised by their spitting up a lot for the first few weeks as long as they were growing -- which you have been watching, so you're probably good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keith has some very good specific advice up there, too. We bottle fed (so I could help!) but the idea of good burping and sitting upright are still valid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this your first? It's terrifying when you think about all the stuff you don't know. :7) Relax, no one else really knew it either. You'll do great!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-26T16:35:13.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4552" CreationDate="2012-04-26T17:56:00.820" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry for the late reply, but I didn't feel any of the existing answers adequately answered the question. A newborn needs to be at a 45 degree angle because they don't have the neck control to support the weight of their head, but a recline of more than than 45 degrees would put them at risk of being ejected from the carseat during a crash. Obviously, as you've noted, your child is older and does have the neck control to handle a lesser recline. Many rear-facing car-seats can have the recline angle decreased safely, usually between 30-45 degrees for an older baby is ok. However, a few carseat models, such as the Safety 1st Complete Air and possibly your carseat(?), are not designed to be used at any angle other than 45 degrees in rear-facing mode. This can be for a variety of reasons, such as manufacturer testing may have found that the seat's design is not secure or safe in an accident at a lesser recline, or the seat-belt/latch belt path may not clip correctly to keep the carseat secured well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would second the advice to consult either the manufacturer or a certified carseat technician (CPST) to help you determine whether your particular seat is safe to use at a decreased recline or not. You may wish to get a different seat if your model is not one that safely supports a decreased recline and you plan to leave it rear-facing for a long time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-04-26T17:56:00.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4930" CreationDate="2012-04-26T21:28:56.610" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As they say, this is something babies do and you should try all the other advice.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BUT, here is something  extra you can try that works for some people, assuming baby's Mom is breastfeeding: have Mom drink Acidophilus milk, or consume something else containing that culture.  My wife and I were up many nights with one of our daughters where she'd wake up hungry, drink her fill, and throw up ten minutes later.  Then there was nothing left to feed her for a while.  Horrible.  After a few months of this off and on, a friend found out about it and recommended my wife drink Acidophilus milk because it had worked for her.  INSTANT fix for us.  I never found out exactly why, because the doctor said that was crazy.  But something must have been missing in babies guts, because it really worked for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2525" LastActivityDate="2012-04-26T21:28:56.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4924" CreationDate="2012-04-27T02:06:43.503" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try asking on Facebook.  I've found a few good doctors that way, although it may not work as well for a less common specialty.  There are also usually Mom forums in the bigger cities where you can ask for recommendations of doctors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-04-27T02:06:43.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4941" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-04-27T15:00:11.140" Score="12" ViewCount="4111" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is about my 8-year old son, who cries easily and helplessly, mostly in response to our enforcing discipline and routine or refusing things he wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that he should not expect to be able to buy whatever he wants, whenever he wants it. However, when it comes to parent-child interaction we have a major problem. For example, he had to wear a yellow t-shirt to school for a rehearsal which we all forgot about. This was enough to make him cry a lot, especially when his father tried to rationalize that this was a rehearsal and he would have the t-shirt for the final performance. His father is unable to accept arguments from his children and tension erupts when my son says what he believes is true (&quot;dad, you don't know what I am talking about&quot;) which, my husband, who is Indian like me, does not consider respectful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, on many occasions my son raises his voice, and that's when we lose our temper. At other times, on a day we are rushing to leave for work, he's often not ready for the school bus - so we scold him, and he begins to cry.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2488" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T09:41:58.787" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T12:36:59.050" Title="Any suggestions on how to control yelling and negativity on our part, and also teach my 8 yr old son to not feel so helpless and cry so easily?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|crying|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4941" CreationDate="2012-04-27T15:18:10.510" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, the old and famous counting to 10 will probably help you control your temper.  Or try saying, mommy needs a time out right now we will get back to this in a few minutes and leave the room.  These are methods to both help you calm down and teach your son how to deal with upsetness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of his crying, he is 8, he should know or must learn not to cry at the drop of the hat.  He is primarily doing it for two reasons: he is getting what he wants by crying (either the item or the attention) or he does not know how to express his emotions in a healthy way. &#xA;Above I put one way to demonstrate how to deal when you are upset.  As well, once he has calmed down enough to hear you give him the words to express himself, example: &quot;I know you are upset that I am not buying this toy, I am sorry you feel that way.&quot;  When you make a mistake (like the tshirt example) tell him you are sorry, that you made a mistake just like everyone does. This will also help him see how to deal when he makes a mistake.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he does start throwing a fit, remove him from the room and tell him when he is done crying he may come back.  Then speak to him.  Show him the words he should have used, explain why you said no, and then have some fun.  Show him that when he is not crying he can have a much better time with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-04-27T15:18:10.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4941" CreationDate="2012-04-27T16:20:46.233" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When he cries, give him a &quot;time out&quot; until he has composed himself: time sitting alone in another room or on the staircase or something. If he is late, he will have to go to school in his pajamas. Consistency is VERY important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I, too, struggle to remain calm when my children try to increase the emotion in a conversation. If you can find a way to keep your emotions cool, you will have a much easier time with this. One author calls this &quot;the dance,&quot; and warns parents not to let themselves be forced to &quot;join the dance&quot; by their children. It takes two to dance, so if the child is the only crying/angry/upset person, and has to have a time out, their emotions cool much more quickly than if two of you fight. (This, as I said, is hard for me, but my wife is good at it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-04-27T16:20:46.233" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4924" CreationDate="2012-04-27T20:16:32.230" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pick a doctor you like. If you don't like the current one, get another one. Second opinions never hurt, though one can assume a specialist is at least well versed in their particular specialty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-04-27T20:16:32.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4941" CreationDate="2012-04-27T21:31:51.090" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of issues here. Your child throwing tantrums and dealing with that has been addressed by others. Then there is the cultural issue of how the interaction between an Indian parent and child should be. I'll try to address that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll explain the emotions in the t-shirt issue, for example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example, he had to wear a yellow t-shirt to school for a rehearsal&#xA;  which we all forgot about. This was enough to make him cry a lot,&#xA;  especially when his father tried to rationalize that this was a&#xA;  rehearsal and he would have the t-shirt for the final performance. His&#xA;  father is &lt;strong&gt;unable to accept arguments from his children&lt;/strong&gt; and tension&#xA;  erupts when my son says what he believes is true (&quot;&lt;strong&gt;dad, you don't know&#xA;  what I am talking about&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;) which, my husband, who is Indian like me,&#xA;  does not consider respectful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole, &quot;unable to accept arguments from his children&quot; needs to be addressed. The parent has to leave the mentality of &quot;what I say is what needs to be done&quot; or &quot;what I say should be sufficient.&quot; It's not. You're going to end up raising a child that doesn't &lt;em&gt;trust&lt;/em&gt; you because you refused to understand their emotions. &lt;em&gt;You cannot tell someone how they should or should not feel.&lt;/em&gt; After all, the kid has a point: dad does not understand why he was upset about the t-shirt. The kid may have been embarrassed in front of his peers; no amount of rationalization can fix that. &lt;em&gt;An apology can.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there is another problem. Instead of the problem being &quot;we forgot the yellow t-shirt&quot;, the problem became &quot;dad, you don't understand.&quot; Which turned into (I imagine) &quot;Stop telling me what I don't understand! I am your father, I know because I have more experience than you.&quot; An appropriate solution to the t-shirt problem should have been that remembering to wear the shirt should have been the child's responsibility. If it's important to him, he should remember it. If he wants you to remember, you could have suggested something like a family calendar where these things can be written down. See, how the problem changed from &lt;em&gt;blaming you&lt;/em&gt; to teaching the child about taking responsibility?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, to deal with the scolding. What is scolding suppose to accomplish? Have you considered &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he is late so often? Is he going to bed late? Is he not waking up early? Is his alarm clock broken? Instead of scolding the child on how he is late (a situation he cannot control once he is late), try presenting solutions. Ask him plainly and simply - &lt;strong&gt;what can you do to make sure that he is not late?&lt;/strong&gt; Forcing your kid to behave by means of scolding him is not going to get anywhere - it is only going to get him to resent you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-11-16T12:36:59.050" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T12:36:59.050" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4924" CreationDate="2012-04-28T03:14:49.617" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We see LOTS of specialists for our kids (ENTs, Allergist, Podiatrist, and Pediatric ophthalmologist).  There are a few things we've figured out that work for us personally as we've evaluated out options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1). How long is your child going to need to see this doctor?  We were less selective about the doc who put in our daughter's ear tubes who was only going to see her a handful of times, and incredibly more selective about her ophthalmologist who we see roughly every three months and will continue to see frequently for the next 18 years or so.  This doesn't mean that we just let any random doc put tubes in her ears, but there are personality quirks that I can overlook in a doctor that we only have to deal with a couple of times that I can't overlook in one that I have to deal with more often.&#xA;2). Relatedly, what level of support are you expecting from the doc/his staff?  Some docs are great, but their staff is the pits.  Clearly this is something you can't really evaluate until you actually see the doctor, but a lot of times you can learn a lot from the person who answers the phone when you call to make the appointment.  Are they friendly and professional?  Did they answer your questions to the best of their ability?  Were they helpful in general?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;3). Do your research online!  Most specialists are associated with university hospitals.  Track down their info!  Have they published anything recently?  Are they currently involved in any research?  What are their credentials?  How long have they been practicing?  If you can't find that info online, don't be afraid to call the doc's office and ask them!  If they can't/won't give you that information, then you probably don't want to use that doctor.&#xA;4). Asking your ped is great if you live in a smaller city or your option of specialists is limited.  When we lived in Knoxville, there were two POs in the city and they were in the same practice.  Our options were limited and we went with the one who had been practicing longer and had more experience.  Now that we live in a more metropolitan area, there is no shortage of specialists and our docs don't frequently have anymore insight into specialists than we do.&#xA;5). Other things to consider:  How far away is his/her office?  Does he/she have satellite offices?  Are they the only doc in their practice or do they work with other docs(an incredibly important point if your child ever needs to be seen in a spur-of-the-moment situation and your doc is out of town/working out of another office/etc.).  Are these other docs also accepted by your insurance?&#xA;6) At what hospitals does the doctor have privileges in the event your child needs surgery?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for evaluating the advice of the specialist you see, that's where you have to do some research in your own.  When our daughter received her first pair of contact lenses, they were silicon and we did not know that really the gold standard in visual rehab is rigid gas permeable lenses.  Once we did some research on our own, we found several studies indicating our need to change and we did.  But I wish I'd known that earlier.  This also gives you a jumping-off point in discussing your daughter's condition with the doctor.  If you've read about X procedure and doc recommends Y procedure, then you can discuss that.  They may have perfectly good reasons for what they do or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-04-28T03:14:49.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2012-04-30T05:49:01.523" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is what helped when my son was 2-year-old (and he has not touched the sockets thereafter). I told him that there is a &lt;strong&gt;dangerous voltage&lt;/strong&gt; inside. Then I asked does he know what it means. He answered no. The I showed him a couple of Youtube videos about what happens if you tamper with a &lt;strong&gt;dangerous voltage&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a couple of examples:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1wsAd9q_4w&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1wsAd9q_4w&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2LpCdhuOyQ&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find more with search keywords &quot;electric arc explosion&quot; or similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The louder the boom is when the arc fires, the better it is. Then remind your child that same will happen if you stick something into an electric plug.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think most kids fear the loud noise and electric arcs. There is, of course, a possibility that some kids feel excited about the arcs and want to try it :-(.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2025" LastActivityDate="2012-04-30T05:49:01.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4874" CreationDate="2012-04-30T16:15:01.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0767927532&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Male Brain&lt;/a&gt; helpful for understanding my sons' behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I remember in particular is to expect a behavioral shift around 9 years, as a boy starts asserting his own authority (by making decisions and accepting consequences, a marker of self-confidence). He stops identifying as a little kid, wants to join adult or older child groups, and rejects associations with smaller kids in an attempt to demonstrate that he is ready to be an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of his inexperience, his choices are sometimes wrong, but now he knows he is responsible for his decisions. At this stage in his life, he must learn to deal with disappointment, anger, and embarrassment as a result of &lt;em&gt;his own choices&lt;/em&gt; (&quot;All the kids are laughing at me for wearing this stupid shirt&quot;) where in the past, he may have been able to pass that responsibility off on someone else (&quot;Mom made me wear this stupid shirt, so it's her fault the kids at school laughed at me&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because asserting his will means asserting his independence, this time of life often means conflicts between father and son, as a boy simultaneously models his father's behavior and rejects his father's authority in favor of greater autonomy.  In other words, the boy wants to act like a man, and can feel like his parents' rules treat him like a baby who can't make his own decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have done a great job raising your son, and the most likely trigger for his rages are embarrassment and feeling childish.  It may help to explicitly tell him that you know what it is like to feel enraged sometimes, and explain what you do to help tame that behavior.  If he hears from you that even grownups must deal with feelings like his, and that it is not an easy thing to do, it may help him feel less like a &quot;baby&quot; for getting upset. At the same time, it will give him tools for communicating his feelings and coping with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, spending some one-on-one time with him may help, particularly if you can help him feel that you respect him and are proud of the man that he is growing into.  It may be that he is upset because he is treated like a kid (even though he is one) since he is the oldest and always has to do baby things because none of the other kids is old enough to do real grownup stuff.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is very good that you respect his feelings, even when he is raging, and I hope your communication after the fits is equally respectful and loving.  It sounds like you are a very kind and considerate parent, and that goes a long way toward having a kind and considerate child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-04-30T16:15:01.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4769" CreationDate="2012-04-30T22:19:40.677" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2925/807&quot;&gt;My edited answer&lt;/a&gt; from another &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/2759/807&quot;&gt;similar question&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it is very likely normal for your baby to cry and you need to ration your strength. Make sure both parents and other caregivers give each other breaks from the crying to recover. If it is just the two of you please find some help. Even as little as a couple hours once a week is important for your health and ability to have perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, strategies for crying. Go through a cry reasons checklist in your head every time until your reaction is automatic, here are mine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wet (change diaper) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hungry (feed) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gas (Burp) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cold/Hot (adjust amount of bed clothes) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Uncomfortable (check the baby's body for anything that could be an irritant: don't overlook things like clothing tags, detergent used, a hair wrapped around a baby's toe, perfume on a parent) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tired (soothe and later ignore) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Upset/Angry (try to remedy the upsetting environment, soothe, or ignore)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the baby is still crying you need to look outside healthy, normal reasons for crying. Start checking for such things as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rash&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fever&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alergies (what is mom eating that could be an alergy?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Infection&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have a checklist in mind you need to keep track of a crazy amount of stuff: what is the baby eating, when, when is the baby sleeping, how long, any burps, how about diaper changes, and so on. If you have these things in mind you can start to identify what leads to crying in your baby. Keep it all in a little notebook and bring it with you to doctor visits just in case to help remind you of things. If your baby continues to cry call your doctor or nurse helpline. You may need to go in for a visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-04-30T22:19:40.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2012-05-01T00:46:50.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If this is a real danger in your mind, I would look at replacing the outlets in rooms he frequents with safer designs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tamper-resistant receptacles&lt;/strong&gt; - These otherwise-normal outlets contain a shutter that is only fully opened, allowing access to the electrical contacts, by inserting an electrical plug (technically they'll open if he sticks something thin and strong in both sides, but your average screwdriver, knife or penny in one side won't open them), and are more difficult to defeat than the &quot;childproof&quot; outlet covers. The plugs are available in 10-packs for $10 (a buck apiece) and if you're handy with household wiring it'll take about 5-10 minutes to swap one out. I've been doing this in the rooms my daughter will be confined to when she's old enough to crawl/walk (living room, her nursery, our bedroom) and slowly working through the rest of the house as well. Current U.S. housing construction code requires any newly-installed or replacement outlet in a residence to be tamper-resistant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;GFCI Outlets/Breakers&lt;/strong&gt; - More expensive but safer, a GFCI outlet or breaker has circuitry that senses a &quot;drain&quot; of current from the hot leg that isn't matched by the current flowing through the neutral leg. 99 times out of 100 this is because the current is flowing to ground, presenting an electrocution hazard. When this occurs the circuit trips very quickly (less than 1 second). So, if your son sticks a knife in an outlet he'll get a jolt but it shouldn't be fatal. One GFCI outlet installed &quot;upstream&quot; of all other outlets on an electrical circuit will protect all those other outlets in the same way it protects itself. GFCIs are required in all &quot;wet&quot; indoor areas of a home (basement, kitchen, bathrooms) in new construction or renovation, and aren't a bad idea elsewhere either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;AFCI Breakers&lt;/strong&gt; - Again, more expensive but safer, an AFCI breaker provides GFCI protection to all devices on the circuit, and also looks for patterns of current that detect an electrical arc (which can cause a fire) and trips a circuit breaker like a GFCI would. The current passing through a person generally exhibits arcing patterns which will quickly trip the breaker, so your son will get a jolt but it shouldn't be permanently damaging. AFCI breakers are a requirement in circuits supplying bedrooms. They can, unfortunately, cause some &quot;nuisance trips&quot; when devices with large motors like vacuum cleaners are plugged in when already turned on; the high draw will cause arcing which can trip the breaker. Also, if your house doesn't already have AFCI breakers, you'll need to call out an electrician to put them in; as a DIYer you do not want to mess with the electrical rails in the service panel if you value life. Unfortunately AFCI protection is not available in an outlet like GFCI is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tamper-resistant surge strips&lt;/strong&gt; - Unfortunately, most &quot;non-permanent&quot; electrical devices with outlets, like extension cords and power strips, do not have the same tamper-resistant design as wall outlets (code does not yet require that type of tamper-resistance for these types of devices). However, they do make surge protector/power strip designs with external shutters, which can be opened to insert plugs and closed when not needed. A typical toddler supposedly does not have the strength to pry one of these open (I'm highly skeptical, and am waiting with bated breath for the internal shutters to become standard issue on power strips).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, none of these devices is a replacement for the vigilant parent. If your child is old enough to get around by themselves but not old enough to understand why he shouldn't do things, the best prevention is a weather eye, a sharp &quot;NO&quot; and five minutes on the naughty stool as often as necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-05-01T00:46:50.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4952" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-01T15:55:33.557" Score="1" ViewCount="485" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/strong&gt;   &lt;em&gt;I realize that a lot of folks (including many professionals) think having autistic kids play games is moving them in the wrong direction (away from social interaction).  The friend below, who has both personal and professional experience in this, does think so. And I'd argue that if you can just shift an autistic child toward more social games (without increasing game time) would have little downside. And some folks feel that you should work on your strengths not your weaknesses.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of my runs an Autistm center and has an autistic 5th grader. I've noticed that he really craves social approval (he loves performing for an audience). But a lot of social interactions are just a bit too overwhelming to him while at the same time inscrutable (reading facial expressions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I was thinking that a video game (which he loves) where the interaction is rewarded (teams do better than individuals, etc.) but where that interaction is very explicit (chat instead of face to face conversations) might be a good &quot;stepping stone&quot; for him: Interaction that's not overwhelming but also easy to digest (more &quot;literal&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has access to a Wii, 3DS, and also internet on computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1602" LastActivityDate="2012-05-01T17:38:55.523" Title="Good video games for an Autistic 5th grader to encourage social skills" Tags="|video-games|autism|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2012-05-02T11:57:34.773" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4941" CreationDate="2012-05-01T16:44:04.623" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to get upset that my son was upset.  For example, if he didn't like something, he would simply scream &quot;It's not fair!&quot; over and over again.  This would frustrate me and I'd end up punishing him when he wouldn't stop. Foolish in retrospect.  What I have learned to do is focus on his actions and not his vocalizing his displeasure.  Now when this happens, I escort him to his room, tell him when that when he calms down he can come out, and I close the door. He can scream all he wants but if his actions are inappropriate (such as kicking his door) then I will tell him that is unacceptable and what the punishment will be if he continues.  Obviously, certain language is unacceptable as well.  He can yell &lt;em&gt;as much as&lt;/em&gt; he wants, not &lt;em&gt;whatever&lt;/em&gt; he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for not being ready for the bus, I had issues with this with my oldest daughter.  The first thing I did, after she missed the bus a few times in first grade, was walk her to school.  We lived three miles from school and it was December (in the southern U.S., so not &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; cold.)  Mind you, this was not just a matter of moving slow. It was moving slow combined with resistance and sometimes disrespectful behavior when her Mother or I tried to get her to move a little faster.  It was a pain for me and made me late for work that day but paid off in spades.  Not only did she start getting ready on time, I didn't have to say a word to my son on days when he didn't want to get moving.  My daughter would be quick to tell him how terrible walking to school was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For about three years, I barely had to say anything in the mornings beyond gentle reminders when they started running behind.  Then my son missed the bus once or twice, but by this time we had meved into a house further from the school so making him walk was not an option.   Once my daughter saw that he wasn't having to walk to school, we started having issues with her again. She hates being nagged and constantly reminded, so we came to an agreement.  I would give her a &quot;wake-up&quot; call, a &quot;breakfast is ready&quot; call, a &quot;ten minutes until it's time to go&quot; call, and a &quot;time to head out the door&quot; call. Other than that, I wouldn't push her to hurry.  If she misses the bus, she owes me $5 and she goes to bed 10 minutes earlier and wakes up 10 minutes earlier for a month.  Earlier times can be cumulative, so if she misses again during that month, sh would go to bed and wake up twenty minutes earlier.  Haven't had a missed bus or fighting in the month since we started that arrangement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-05-01T16:44:04.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4952" CreationDate="2012-05-01T17:38:55.523" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have direct experience but I have come across these resources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2029331083/popchillas-world-a-game-for-kids-with-autism&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Popchilla's World: A Game for Kids with Autism (pre-development)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://hackingautism.org/apps&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hacking autism&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://play.google.com/store/search?q=autism&amp;amp;c=apps&amp;amp;safe=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Google Play Android Apps&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-05-01T17:38:55.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4955" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-02T14:04:38.987" Score="42" ViewCount="5373" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has been told that she has a limited amount of time left due to an illness, the average life expectancy is 7-8 years after onset, of which we have used up 7. With excellent management, and slow progression of the disease, people have been known to live up to 20 years after onset. But even in that best case scenario, my children who are both below 5, are likely to have their mother gone by their teens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there something we could do to prepare them for that day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand death of a parent can happen to any child, but is it right to pretend we don't know what's coming? Or to have the children take the burden of dealing with the situation because of our squeamishness? Needless to say this is a massive burden for any family to carry, and the pressures it places on us are enormous, but how can we best deal with this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2554" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T16:02:47.187" Title="How to prepare children for impending death of a parent?" Tags="|pre-schooler|death|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4955" CreationDate="2012-05-02T14:40:48.233" Score="17" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I understand death of a parent can happen to any child, but is it&#xA;  right to pretend we don't know what's coming?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless your kids are incredibly dense, they are going to figure it out sooner or later, and probably sooner.  The only question is where are they going to get their information from. I was diagnosed with MS two years ago when my kids were 7, 6, and 3.  My wife and I had to explain what that meant to our kids.  We also had instances of them getting bad information at school. One kid told my 7 year old it meant I was going to die.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to give a simple explanation and then ask them if they have any questions.  Let them kind of guide you with their questions.  Be honest but don't go into unnecessary details.  Let them know that it is ok to come to you any time they have questions in the future.  As they get older and have an ability to understand more, they will ask more questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-05-02T14:40:48.233" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4765" CreationDate="2012-05-03T02:41:43.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It was pretty limited at first feeding solids instead of mush.  I didn't use the Rapley method specifically, but my baby wanted to feed himself, not have me spoon feed him.  Since he was still nursing good, I wasn't too worried about lack of nutrition.  Also, as @Shauna mentioned, it is recommended to introduce new foods one at a time anyways, so whatever method you use, there will be little variety at the beginning.&#xA;I addition to avocado, cooked carrots, and peaches, and things like that, I found a recipe for some baby biscuits made with baby oatmeal, which were very soft and healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-05-03T02:41:43.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4876" CreationDate="2012-05-03T13:19:25.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;All of the methods mentioned may work for some, but if your child is very active, it probably won't.  Mine gets 2 - 3 hours of nap time a day and that rejuvenates them, so the only way I got him to sleep a little faster was to take him to bed a little later, so instead of 8 - 8:30, I take him to bed around 9:30.  This seems to do the trick with him going to sleep.  On days were he does not nap, sometimes he will fall asleep between 7 and 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastActivityDate="2012-05-03T13:19:25.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="574" CreationDate="2012-05-03T15:13:59.600" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you think that maybe he was trying to tell you to put it on the dinosaur show (the button - could've meant the button on the remote)? Just guessing, I've got a 18 month old that says bom-bom &amp;amp; we don't have a clue what it is &amp;amp; we've tried to figure it out &amp;amp; ask her &amp;amp; she just cracks up like it's the funniest thing in the world because we don't know. Not asking for help, just offering a possible solution, but I really don't have a clue. Just looking for some dino stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2560" LastActivityDate="2012-05-03T15:13:59.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4955" CreationDate="2012-05-03T15:26:02.310" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;That is very tough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a large number of children books that deal with a wide range of parent illnesses, and the challenges both the parent and child will face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With children under 5, then I'd start with colorful story books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also a couple of Disney films that involve the death of one parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The Little Mermaid (Ariel is raised by her father)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Beauty and the Beast (Bella is raised by her father)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pocahontas (raised by her father)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pinocchio (raised by his father)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bambi&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The Princess and the Frog (I think Tiana is raised by her mother)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend these only as a resource. I think @Kevin's answer is spot on. To keep is simple, let them guide you and as a family you guys will make it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2012-05-03T15:26:02.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4924" CreationDate="2012-05-03T17:17:35.833" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you trust your current pediatrician, they can likely give you good referrals to local specialists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO the best recommendations come from health care professionals, particularly when they are not &quot;working&quot; for you.  Do you have any friends or family members who are nurses or doctors?  Ask them who they would go to; even if they don't know the specialists you need they may be willing to ask around at work or among the people they know.  While this approach is a pretty subjective, the best doctors will have reputations (particularly in their field) that many of their colleagues will know about; the same thing can be said for particularly bad doctors (the nurses/doctors all probably know they are bad).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1336" LastActivityDate="2012-05-03T17:17:35.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4955" CreationDate="2012-05-04T06:14:10.347" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Above all, be honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell your children the basics&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use matter-of-fact language&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be open to their questions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use language that they'll understand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this isn't easy, but it will help them prepare for the future if you help them understand as best you can. Children can be remarkably resilient, and the trust you build with them through honesty will be invaluable in the days to come.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="270" LastActivityDate="2012-05-04T06:14:10.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="574" CreationDate="2012-05-04T19:14:13.897" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;OK, so a dinosaur on a wheel or a button isn't, at face value, that funny.  But the hilarity of it is how funny &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; think it is.  It's sort of a private joke.  So I think, like Johnny said, is more or less encourage it.  Laugh with them or use the phrase yourself sometimes.  We tried that a couple of times with unusual phrases our son came up with and were able to glean some insight into it when we discovered we were, apparently, using the phrase wrong.  Who knew?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-05-04T19:14:13.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4965" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4966" CreationDate="2012-05-04T21:34:51.000" Score="6" ViewCount="2288" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are moving to a foreign country with our 30 months old daughter. The country we are moving to speaks a different language (German-we speak Italian) which my wife and I understand and somehow speak (not particularly well) but our daughter does not know at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is extremely fluent in our native tongue, more so than most children of her age we regularly meet. On the other hand she's a bit introvert and relating to other children is not her strength. I believe this is partially due to her spending a lot of time with us (no day care).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the move we would have about one year before the mandatory beginning of kindergarten, so we would like to prepare her in the best way.&#xA;What worries us mostly is that the language barrier could isolate her from other children (also because of her introverted personality), in particular once kindergarten begins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure &quot;full immersion&quot; is the best way for an adult to pick up a new language, but I feel this could be too traumatic for a child of this age. What is a good strategy to integrate her as quickly as possible without making her feel excluded because of the foreign language?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2567" LastEditorDisplayName="user2480" LastEditDate="2012-05-05T05:00:32.403" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T12:10:17.367" Title="Moving to a foreign country with a 2.5 years old child" Tags="|social-development|language|speech|moving|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4965" CreationDate="2012-05-05T02:48:29.717" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children at that age love to play, and they will play together even if the don't speak the same language. Where I live the community here is so mixed that most children are English as a second language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just focus on teaching her the ABCs and 123s in German. In kindergarten they focus mostly on the foundations of reading and counting. If she learns that before she starts school, then she'll be ahead of most German children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read her story books in German, and if you can (I can't read German) then try read-along books with a CD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trust me, I wouldn't worry to much about it. You are going to have a far harder time learning the language then she will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2012-05-05T02:48:29.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4965" CreationDate="2012-05-05T05:45:09.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Matthew...integrate the German into her life as much as &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can.  Once you get settled, then perhaps you can find a part-time daycare-type situation that will expose her to native speakers.  Here in the US, we have mothers-day-out programs in a lot of areas which are only a couple of days a week in most cases for maybe 4 hours each day.  The &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; MDO programs incorporate an informal curriculum to help prepare students for kindergarten.  Around here, most of these programs are run by churches and I don't know a) how you would feel about that personally and b) if that would even be a possibility in your new home country, but it's worth a shot to look for something like that.  She'll probably be speaking German better than you before long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-05-05T05:45:09.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4968" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4975" CreationDate="2012-04-23T18:00:54.393" Score="15" ViewCount="769" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a programmer and will be observing &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Take_Our_Daughters_and_Sons_to_Work_Day&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Take Your Child to Work Day&lt;/a&gt; with my four-year-old daughter, Thing1, on Thursday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm planning to get us dressed up, take her to breakfast and then bring her into the office for some fun business shenanigans among my ~150 coworkers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She loves learning and games and is quite good with letters, numbers, and 3-4 letter words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will have no problem recruiting accomplices to assist me during the 3 hours or so that I'm in the office with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What should we do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want her to be involved with others in the office and feel like she's contributing (no mindless busy work). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideas so far (&lt;em&gt;this is where I need your help!&lt;/em&gt;)...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Create questions for an &quot;interview&quot; (favorite color, movie, subject, etc.) with colorful office supplies (crafts are fun)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Run some copies (copiers are fun)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Conduct the above interview with fun coworkers (talking to people is fun)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Send some emails (banging on computers is fun)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More ideas? I'd love to work in something programming related--if you can think of anything a 4yo will have the attention span for I'd love to hear it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm taking this as vacation - &lt;em&gt;I don't have to be productive at all&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="426" OwnerDisplayName="Michael Haren" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-05-05T13:01:05.180" LastActivityDate="2012-05-06T11:20:23.767" Title="What should I do with my daughter on Take Your Child to Work Day?" Tags="|pre-schooler|programming|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4968" CreationDate="2012-04-23T18:10:44.507" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm taking this as vacation--I don't have to be productive at all&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do realize that this statement doesn't really help with the perception that programmers are just lazy, smarmy nerds right? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, this could be a great opportunity to show your daughter that working as a programmer is actually a pretty good career choice.  Why not try doing some work and explaining why it's important and/or why you think it's fun. Getting dressed up and photocopying pictures of rainbows is definitely fun, but it's almost certainly not work and probably not important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Programmers do all sorts of things over the course of a day. Including but not limited to : writing production code, writing one-off helper scripts, analyzing requirements, meetings, writing emails, talking with people, quashing bugs, trying out new technology, surfing SO, and testing. Surely some of those things would be age-appropriate for you and your daughter? :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="joshin4colours" LastActivityDate="2012-04-23T18:10:44.507" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4968" CreationDate="2012-04-23T18:13:10.120" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only age-appropriate thing I can think of is flow-charts. It's graphical, interactive (markers and flip-boards), easy to learn/understand, and useful. You can also have her help draw flow charts for things she's interested in like snack time, or something. You could probably use simple pictures instead of words. Activity diagrams and sequence diagrams might also work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe if you do a lot of graphics programming, she could help &quot;test&quot; the software by just clicking around, then telling you if it crashes. You could then take the log dump and maybe get some useful info from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you guys do hardware programming, maybe you can set up something ahead of time, a spare robotic arm for her to work with, maybe come up with some task or test for her to run on it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, I can't think of much. These days I spend a lot of time doing XML and database work which is a lot of time sitting quietly and staring, thinking, testing a querying, verifying the results, repeat... I have a hard time thinking a 4 year old would be able to maintain interest in that for long (there are even some adults who have trouble maintaining intest in that for long).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="FrustratedWithFormsDesigner" LastActivityDate="2012-04-23T18:29:39.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2012-05-05T14:51:00.137" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The world is changing.  I think the advice on how much is too much is outdated.  Screen time isn't what it used to be.  I have a feeling my two year old will type his name before he writes it.  I think he will learn to use a mouse or a touch screen before crayons.  Even Leapfrog toys are having a hard time competing with IPads.  An IPad is more engaging and interactive than listening to a musical toy or a stuffed dog that sings and dances.  While there is nothing that compares to a wooden puzzle and a real book, I don't think there is anything wrong with a toddler growing up in the very real and changing technological world.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2571" LastActivityDate="2012-05-05T14:51:00.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4968" CreationDate="2012-05-05T19:56:04.070" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Skip the technical part of programming and instead focus on working together to solve some kind of (easy) problem. You can say something like: &quot;Oh, I'm glad you're here with me today. My desk needs a good cleaning, and having a helper will make cleaning up so much easier.&quot; That opens the door to all kinds of little jobs that you can do together, like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;organize your papers&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;put all your books in alphabetical order&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;move your computer/monitor/keyboard/mouse and wipe down the desk (where &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; that dirt come from?)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;install/update some piece of (fun?) new software&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it'd be great to let her experience interacting with some other people. If you have some books or other items that can be delivered to one of your coworkers, she can do that. If some of your coworkers are also bringing their kids, you could arrange for the kids to have a meeting of some sort, perhaps to talk about the jobs they've done during the day. Let her know that your job involves more than just sitting at your desk and typing, that you have to cooperate with the other people in your office.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1508" LastActivityDate="2012-05-05T19:56:04.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4965" CreationDate="2012-05-05T20:54:56.690" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The more she's exposed to the language and it's nuances, the better off she'll be.  Enroll her in pre-school or some care setting where she can be exposed to some of her peers and the culture. Definitely begin to introduce German books and programs to her so she can start to get an 'ear' for the language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because both you and your wife are 'fair' at German, you should also consider using German at home as much as possible, to help encourage your daughter to use the language.  Since she's an introvert, she needs as much 'support' from her parents as possible so she'll feel more comfortable with all the changes in her life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2012-05-05T20:54:56.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4965" CreationDate="2012-05-06T08:12:52.783" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We moved with 3 kids age 0.5, 2.5 &amp;amp; 3.5 to a different country and it was no problem whatsoever. We were lucky enough to find a pre-school that was specifically designed for non-native speakers and worked quite well. Within 6 month or so the two older ones could communicate effortlessly and within a year there were indistinguishable from native speakers. All of the kids are now perfectly fluent in at least two languages. &#xA;2.5 is actually a really good age for this. Social norms are still pretty basic and verbal communication is not quite as important as later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2486" LastActivityDate="2012-05-06T08:12:52.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4968" CreationDate="2012-05-06T11:20:23.767" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As she can not read yet, it does not make sense at all to do something with programming. First I thought about one of those graphical IDE's where you create your program by putting together graphical blocks. But those most often require reading as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really (really!) like your idea of letting her &quot;create&quot; a series of questions and then have her ask them to child-friendly coworkers. This way she will see the office and your coworkers. I think that is more important than to try to explain to a 4yo what programming is all about. You can start doing the latter when she starts going to school or so. It will probably also maximize the boost of your self-confidence as it will show your coworkers what a lovely daugther you have. :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I am 26 and have no children, so maybe I am the wrong one to ask. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2574" LastActivityDate="2012-05-06T11:20:23.767" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4797" CreationDate="2012-05-06T18:21:13.023" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am thinking about the same way I motivate myself : have him play songs he likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disney ballads (like &quot;A Whole New World&quot; or &quot;Prince Ali&quot;) are really easy to play, and lots of fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-05-06T18:21:13.023" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4977" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4998" CreationDate="2012-05-06T18:22:39.887" Score="5" ViewCount="941" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suppose all parents/caregivers may feel this way from time to time, but when a child does not listen to you or you have had a &amp;quot;parenting fail&amp;quot; so to speak, how do you deal with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Edit:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Details&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A four year old developed a habit (a long time ago) of climbing on top of cars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One family member has a habit of &lt;em&gt;flipping the f--- out&lt;/em&gt;! when the child climbs on top of a car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a sort of &amp;quot;overcorrection&amp;quot; to this, I calmly ask the child to not climb on top of the car, and this used to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the particular incident I am citing had this child climbing on top of the car, and me not doing anything about it, except calmly asking the child to stop climbing on the car.  I'm not sure why I wasn't doing anything else about it, but I wasn't.  Finally I warned the child that the glass on the windshield could break, and he would be injured if it did.  So the child proceeded to stomp on the windshield, at which point I took him off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, this wasn't without consequence, and the windshield had a hairline crack after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was really mad.  See my answer for my resolution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T12:58:00.537" Title="How do you deal with when you've had a &quot;parenting fail&quot;?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4977" CreationDate="2012-05-07T01:07:36.307" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parenting almost entirely involves dealing with situations you've never had to deal with before.  Failures are inevitable.  I'm pretty sure I screw up one way or another every day.  The key is in rationally recognizing those moments and learning from them so that your next mistake will at least be a different one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="835" LastActivityDate="2012-05-07T01:07:36.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4930" CreationDate="2012-05-07T13:36:17.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience: kids do spit up a lot, but sometimes they have acid reflux, which sometimes leads them to eat even more and still gain weight.&#xA;You can check for it with a simple echography, and you can use some very innocuous drugs to keep it at bait. My second child had it and gained a lot of weight anyway. Worse than that, se had pneumonia due to acid irritating her lungs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is to do some more investigations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2565" LastActivityDate="2012-05-07T13:36:17.987" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4980" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-07T14:28:22.203" Score="26" ViewCount="26497" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had this debate with some friends who have older children.  We keep our liquor in the cupboard above the fridge.  When they get a bit older (still just 8 and 10) and could potentially be tempted about drinking or have friends who might push them, we thought we'd probably get a locking liquor cabinet of some kind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But then I remember lots of kids who had no trouble getting into their parent's locked cabinets, either having found the key or picked the lock. They used tricks like replacing the volume of vodka removed with water, etc.  So the other side of the argument is to just leave the liquor in the cupboard and be more serious about educating your kids on the dangers of underage drinking, and create kids you can trust. In the end you have to trust them anyway, and if they really want to drink, they will find a way.  Plus, locking it up just says, &quot;I don't trust you&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I don't know where I come down on this issue...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2525" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-28T16:18:59.453" LastActivityDate="2016-03-28T16:18:59.453" Title="Do parents of teens need to lock their liquor cabinet?" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|drugs|alcohol|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-07T15:11:59.553" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on personal experience, I'm going to answer no because it's a matter of family style. My family also had a liquor cabinet and it was not even high up so even a kid could reach it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But we were never tempted. We knew that liquor is adult stuff, and at some point we'd been offered something that tasted horrible. We just weren't interested. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also didn't have friends over that were of the &quot;go on, I dare you&quot; type.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-08T06:17:34.173" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T06:17:34.173" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-07T15:21:54.227" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Torben.  You don't need to secure the liquor, at least at the age range you are asking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Education is more important than physical barriers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lock on the liquor cabinet won't help you when your children go to a friend's house, and the liquor there &lt;em&gt;isn't&lt;/em&gt; locked up.  Teaching your child not only that they shouldn't drink at that age, but also &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they shouldn't will work just as effectively away from home as it will in your house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More importantly, teaching your child how not to succumb to peer pressure will be beneficial in a lot more scenarios than just underage drinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one exception is if there is evidence of an existing problem.  If you have evidence that your child was engaged in underage drinking, then it is entirely appropriate to lock up any alcohol in your house, or, better yet, remove the temptation completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-05-07T15:21:54.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4983" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4995" CreationDate="2012-05-07T15:38:47.560" Score="5" ViewCount="402" Body="&lt;p&gt;Peer pressure is a fact of life.  Friends and classmates are generally strong influences in how our children develop their personalities, and potentially influence many significant decisions in their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we help prepare our children to deal with this, and encourage them to ensure that good judgement supersedes peer pressure whenever possible?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="2385" LastEditDate="2012-05-08T16:49:04.570" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T18:47:17.480" Title="How do you help children resist social/peer pressure?" Tags="|social-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4984" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4991" CreationDate="2012-05-07T17:13:40.307" Score="11" ViewCount="677" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been using it when she gets fussy and she seems to love it. Is this a bad habit to get into? I've heard there are potential dental/breastfeeding/dependency issues. Is there any truth to this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2511" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T16:42:49.647" Title="Is it bad to use a pacifier?" Tags="|newborn|pacifier|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4977" CreationDate="2012-05-07T17:25:18.563" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Pick yourself off, dust yourself off, and start all over again.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I fail and I fail and I fail. I try to learn from each. But none of us are perfect, you know? So don't be too hard on yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're lucky, your partner will help you learn from what happened. Kids are resilient, though, and sometimes they don't even notice what you think is a major gaffe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-07T17:25:18.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4983" CreationDate="2012-05-07T17:29:07.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be honest about how everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. This steals some of the leverage from others who want to push those buttons to get your kids to respond with shame/fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be clear that they make their own choices. &lt;em&gt;All&lt;/em&gt; choices have consequences (good or bad), and anyone who influences their choices will not be there to help share the consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell them you love them, over and over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure they love themselves. It's a lot harder to manipulate someone who is secure in their identity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-07T17:29:07.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4984" CreationDate="2012-05-07T17:31:26.027" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When they're infants? Nah. When they're three? Yes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your pediatrician will keep an eye on the baby's physical development in their mouth, and should let you know when they've been using the pacifier too long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When babies can learn to self-sooth, they are a lot of the way along to learning a skill that's vital for falling back to sleep without help. Even if they don't always use the pacifier at bedtime, they will have learned that they don't always need your help to calm down. Yay!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-07T17:31:26.027" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4988" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="4990" CreationDate="2012-05-07T20:32:06.410" Score="14" ViewCount="1304" Body="&lt;p&gt;The prevalence of obesity in children is increasing.  Is this biasing the growth charts that physicians use to assess normal growth? In other words are children that would have been in the 50th percentile before the rise in childhood obesity now in a lower percentile?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastEditorUserId="88" LastEditDate="2012-05-08T20:59:20.593" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:33:46.193" Title="Is the child obesity epidemic biasing growth charts?" Tags="|growth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4988" CreationDate="2012-05-08T02:49:04.690" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;No.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can read more about growth charts &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/rr5909a1.htm&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.  Here's a quotation about their creation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The 2006 WHO growth curves for children are based on data from the WHO MGRS, a study conducted during 1997--2003 in six sites: Pelotas, Brazil; Accra, Ghana; Delhi, India; Oslo, Norway; Muscat, Oman; and Davis, California (12). The criteria for selection of the communities included 1) socioeconomic status that does not constrain growth of the child (based on infant mortality rate; prevalence of underweight, stunting, and wasting; subpopulation size; and access to safe water), 2) low altitude (&amp;lt;1,500 m [4,921 ft]), 3) low enough population mobility to allow for a 2-year follow-up, 4) at least 20% of mothers in the community willing to follow international feeding recommendations, 5) existence of a breastfeeding support system (typically in the form of lactation consultants), and 6) existence of a research institution capable of conducting the study (12). The international infant feeding recommendations in effect at the time of the study included exclusive breastfeeding for at least 4 months (although predominantly breastfed infants were also included in the study), introduction of complementary foods by at least 6 months but not before 4 months, and continued breastfeeding for at least 12 months. Study participants were provided breastfeeding support as needed and were counseled on complementary feeding, with an emphasis on timing, energy density, feeding frequency, and micronutrient content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the breast feeding requirements, there was a straight cutoff for abnormally large children in relation to height:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Weight-for-length measurements of &gt;3 standard deviations from the overall study median were considered to be outliers and excluded from the final sample....To eliminate the effect of overweight children on the weight distributions in the WHO curves for children aged 24--59 months, weight measurements of &gt;2 standard deviations above the study median were excluded; a total of 226 (2.7%) weight measurements were excluded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They did a pretty thorough job of making sure that those growth charts have a great deal of scientific backing to them, inasmuch as these charts define 'normal' and 'healthy' for the world's children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T02:49:04.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4984" CreationDate="2012-05-08T02:55:55.663" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;One cause for concern is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/common-problems/nipple-confusion&quot;&gt;nipple confusion&lt;/a&gt;.  Essentially:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Baby tries to use the bottle-feeding technique on the breast and has difficulty latching-on and sucking. Baby gets very frustrated, and so does mother. Nipple confusion can even lead to baby refusing the breast. Here's an explanation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all children get it (mine didn't), but I've had friends whose kids have definitely had issues with this.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/introducing-bottles-and-pacifiers-to-a-breastfed-baby&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; discusses the timing of introduction of the pacifier and the bottle. The article is lengthy, and also discusses bottle feeding vs. breast feeding (germane, as the problem is nipple confusion, which can arise here as well).  Her final recommendations with bottles (unless you have to supplement feeding) are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At 3-4 weeks (or 2-3 weeks if you are returning to work at 6 weeks), begin pumping after feedings for 4-5 minutes if your baby had a good feeding, or 8-10 minutes if he didn’t nurse well or only nursed on one breast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; Also, in case you're worried about potential effects later in life (ie, the possible need for braces caused or exacerbated by the use of pacifiers or bottle feeding), there does not appear to be a statistically relevant link, according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0889540688902934&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt;.  From the abstract:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Analysis of valid responses (N = 454) showed need for treatment to be associated only with history of parental orthodontic treatment (P &amp;lt; 0.05). A trend toward association of bottle-feeding with need for orthodontic treatment was found in the increasing need for treatment with increasing exposure to bottle, but was of marginal significance (P = 0.058).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="2423" LastEditDate="2012-05-08T16:42:49.647" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T16:42:49.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-08T05:00:58.490" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think my input on this matter should be quite useful, as I'm currently 17 (on the verge of 18, but that's irrelevant), and have done some drinking over the past year or so. My parents have no idea, or at least I assume they don't, and I don't intend for them to find out anytime soon, as I know I'll be punished to some extent. My father is an alcoholic, and while some people might point to that as the cause of my drinking, his alcoholism is what kept me from drinking for the first 3 years I was in highschool, where I have been offered several times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways, back to the issue. I only ever drink at my friend's house, and we only drink there because his recklessly irresponsible parents don't mind people drinking. Now, they take keys away and make sure nobody gets hurt, but realistically there is nothing they can do to make things completely safe. At my house, I have full access to an entire array of alcoholic beverages, and yet I just don't drink at home. Why? I see no purpose to it. I'll likely get in trouble, and I don't see drinking as the kind of thing somebody would/should do alone. If I really wanted to get past a locked cabinet, I'm sure I could, but I just don't feel the need to. My advice to you is this: warn your children and teach them to say no, and punish them if they ever get caught. However, don't expect them to be completely free of wrongdoing. I have 3 friends who regularly come to parties with us, and not once have they taken a drink. We respect them and don't force it on them. Make sure your kids have respectful friends who would do the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2581" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T05:00:58.490" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4983" CreationDate="2012-05-08T05:33:53.510" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't got much to offer, but as a teenager who's been in several tough situations involving drugs and alcohol, I've noticed a few things. I, along with many of my friends, enjoy drinking, and do so almost every weekend. However, I have 3 friends who, to the extent of my knowledge, have never done any drinking. When I consider why this is, I always come to the same conclusion: All 3 of them have excellent family lives (at least, from what I have observed; on of these people is an ex-girlfriend, the other two have been close friends for 2 years), and are overall great people. Whenever they are around and we start drinking, they simply turn down any drinks that might be offered to them, and we don't really pressure them. I'd say that half the battle is developing a strong and loving relationship with your children, and the other half is knowing their friends and being able to spot so-called &quot;bad seeds&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also like to note that the first time I ever drank more than a sip of wine was at a friend's new years party, where his parents served us, a bunch of 16 year olds, beer/champagne. Don't be like them. Fun as they are, they are the main reason I began drinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2581" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T05:33:53.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4983" CreationDate="2012-05-08T18:47:17.480" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instill in them a sense of self-confidence. This can be done in many ways (martial arts, sports, acting, etc), but the important part is to send the message &lt;strong&gt;I don't have to conform to others to have fun and feel good about myself.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, I'm of the opinion that the best way to deter kids from certain activities (particularly sex and drinking/drugs) is to be open about them as topics, and in some cases, let them try it in a controlled environment. Demystify it, let them learn about it, and it makes it less tempting, because there's no mystery to it anymore. Be neutral about it, include both the good things (orgasms feel good) and the bad things (drinking too much can lead to blackouts, which can be more embarrassing than not drinking, and it can lead to alcohol poisoning, which can be fatal). Even if you're uncomfortable about the topic, either try not to show it, or acknowledge that you were brought up differently and now feel that it's not something to be ashamed of to talk about (depending on both your and your kids' personality, and their age). You don't want to convey your discomfort to them when talking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be different for other people, but in my experience, peer pressure really wasn't all that pressuring in reality. I've had friends that drank, smoked (weed and tobacco), and were promiscuous. I'd get offered something, and a simple &quot;no thanks, I'm not interested,&quot; was enough. Occasionally, someone would ask why I didn't smoke or drink and my answer was simply that I had no desire to do so, &lt;strong&gt;and they accepted that answer.&lt;/strong&gt; Given that, I'd say that the majority of &quot;peer pressure&quot; is the &lt;em&gt;perception&lt;/em&gt; of what other people might think. Kind of like being afraid of speaking in front of a group because you're afraid that you'll mess up and they'll laugh at you, even though you have your speech memorized so well that you could say it backwards, and the group you're speaking to is Toastmasters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not to say there won't be some people who will still try to get your kids to do something unwise (or simply something you don't approve of), even after your kids say no. That's where the self confidence comes in. Not only will they be able to say &quot;no thanks,&quot; but they will also be more likely to see these people for what they likely are - bullies and/or cowards - and decide that their approval isn't worth making a stupid decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T18:47:17.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-08T20:28:22.857" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with most of the questions on a parenting forum, there is not a single correct answer. It depends so much on the personalities of your children. If one of our children had a special problem with alcohol, that would be one thing. But anything can be abused, so alcohol isn't really unique in this regard. I find that when I give something a &quot;special&quot; status, my children are all the more curious about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our household, my wife and I have tried to treat alcohol like any other ingredient in our pantry. We instruct our children as to the consequences of overindulging in sugary treats, and we've discussed the effects of alcohol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, none of our children (the older two are pre-teen) like any of the alcoholic drinks they've tried, so monitoring their consumption of sugar is a far greater difficulty for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've taken the approach that our children need permission to take anything from the kitchen, unless they've purchased something with their own money. If we were to catch them sneaking from the liquor cabinet, they wouldn't be disciplined for taking alcohol but for &quot;stealing.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1086" LastActivityDate="2012-05-08T20:28:22.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4977" CreationDate="2012-05-08T23:37:19.787" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The resolution I made to this was &lt;strong&gt;REACT&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't an acronym, this isn't a cheesy resolution either.  It's to clearly define &lt;strong&gt;totally unacceptable&lt;/strong&gt; behavior, that could cause injury or other such things, (such as climbing on cars) and to &lt;strong&gt;react immediately&lt;/strong&gt; to that &lt;em&gt;unacceptable&lt;/em&gt; misbehavior when it occurs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think my failure was my overly-small reaction to the misbehaviour.  Because the child could injure himself, I should have taken strict and swift action to totally stop the misbehavior when it occurs, which I intend to do in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Edit&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, it continues to happen.  Actually there is an addendum to REACT, its &quot;Always Be Vigilant&quot;.  You have to be really &lt;em&gt;watchful&lt;/em&gt; and react immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="1850" LastEditDate="2012-05-19T18:38:12.133" LastActivityDate="2012-05-19T18:38:12.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="4999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4977" CreationDate="2012-05-09T05:22:36.563" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;A very good friend of mine helped my wife and I cope when the strain of a strong-willed toddler. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of his key pieces of advice ... &quot;Parenting is like baseball, &lt;strong&gt;you get lots of at bats&lt;/strong&gt;. Keep swinging.  You won't get a hit every time, and you don't have to hit a home run every time to be awesome.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will make mistakes. You will not discipline properly. You will lose your temper. You will not react appropriately.  When you do, get over it and figure out how you will handle it next time. The next chance will come soon enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;For those who don't understand the baseball reference ... an &quot;at bat&quot; is a turn attempting to get a hit. The very best hitters in baseball will get roughly 500 at bats in a season and perhaps 165 hits. So the very best hitters are successful roughly 1/3 of the time, and 2/3 of the time, they are unsuccessful. And even the most powerful hitters only hit a home run one out of every 12 or so at bats.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a related note .. how many times are you going to tell the kid not to do something before you apply consequences? You speak, kid doesn't listen, kid gets punished. A few iterations of this and the kid will listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-05-09T05:22:36.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-09T05:42:21.390" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;YES&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put locks on our liquor cabinet when our daughter hit age 12.  I think a locked liquor cabinet is a good idea, particularly if there are situations where the kid is home alone with any frequency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The primary reason is that give your child an easy excuse to resist peer pressure. A friend is over, and wants to raid the cabinet. It is easy for the kid to say &quot;sorry, the booze is locked up and I don't know where the key is&quot; without being stuck up or a killjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The secondary reason is to make it a bit harder for the kid to cross the line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last reason is to make sure the message is clear that kids should not be drinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-05-09T05:42:21.390" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5001" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-09T16:03:43.830" Score="4" ViewCount="15845" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are expecting another child in a couple of months.  We have one monitor now for our daughter.  When the new baby is born, we would like to have monitor transmitters for both children.  How have other people handled this situation?  Did you get two sets of monitors and have two receivers everywhere?  Did you get a monitor system with multiple transmitters?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="79" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:54:13.853" LastActivityDate="2019-08-23T16:14:16.863" Title="What is the best way to have multiple monitors for more than one child?" Tags="|night-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5002" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5010" CreationDate="2012-05-09T17:06:14.877" Score="17" ViewCount="4068" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've set up a Twitter account for our daughter so that interested people (friends, relatives, old ladies) can &lt;a href=&quot;http://twitter.com/dinodoor&quot;&gt;follow her, find out what she's doing and see how adorable she is.&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;My sister heard this and started panicking over how safe it was going to be, and seemed to have a haunting nameless fear she couldn't articulate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are there genuine risks to posting your baby photos online? If so, what are they, and what can you do to mitigate the risks?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-12-07T17:14:23.523" LastActivityDate="2012-12-18T16:17:36.653" Title="What are the risks of posting baby pictures online?" Tags="|newborn|internet|social-media|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1698" CreationDate="2012-05-09T18:25:55.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While we were in hospital post-birth, our newborn had jaundice and needed topping up with formula, but we had the midwives come and give us information to let us know what the best thing would be to do. I recommend doing that at your local childbirth centre of choice, but here are the highlights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If for some reason breast alone isn't an option, (e.g. mother is needed elsewhere, mother feels uncomfortable feeding in public, milk's running slow, baby needs more than just breast can provide, tounge-tie, or any of the other billion justified reasons), &lt;strong&gt;Formula Is Perfectly Acceptable&lt;/strong&gt;. Repeat a million times to drown out any fear: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;They have it in hospitals, so it must be safe&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if expressed breast milk is an option, it's healthier than any formula and can be frozen for up to &lt;strong&gt;six months&lt;/strong&gt;. Now, here's the guidance we were given:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;More expensive is not better&lt;/strong&gt;. There's a minimum standard high enough that for any approved milk, the differences are stylistic rather than nutritious. One midwife even suggested that certain cunning companies might use the same formula for their budget and premium brands, simply changing the packaging. Which would make sense, as providing less-safe milk to tiny babies would be monstrous. Manipulating upper-class parents is just redistribution of wealth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's actually slightly preferable, if more expensive, to use ready-made formula, as it's guaranteed sterile on opening, whereas with powder you have to sterilize the water, and then the spoon, and the jug, and &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The milk requirements change with development (roughly by age, but check with your baby's doctor each visit to make sure your baby's not running ahead/behind), so use different milk for newborns than later, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, we're topping up on SMA's jars of baby fluid, dispensed via cup, till her weight's up a bit (phototherapy dehydrates her, so her weight dropped a little more than preferred). It's &lt;em&gt;so&lt;/em&gt; easy, you just hook it under her lip and she laps it up. And I can do it, which is the highlight of my day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-05-10T07:31:33.140" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T07:31:33.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5002" CreationDate="2012-05-09T18:55:37.980" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is always a risk with anything you do online.&#xA;We have had a website for our family for eight years for the same reasons you list.&#xA;Here are some precautions that we take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't use last names at all, ever.&#xA;We don't label the pictures in any way.&#xA;We don't advertise our website through email or other online modes of comunication. We directly gave the site address to those we wanted to have it and we told them NOT TO share it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With twitter I believe you can make it private so only invites can follow your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would go ahead with it, it is important to share with family and friends, however, I would limit the number of friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-09T18:55:37.980" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5001" CreationDate="2012-05-09T19:11:41.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simplistic answer is to buy two from different manufacturers. But most baby monitors use the same spectrum, so there will likely be interference regardless of which models you use. Some come with a switch for a channel (or come pre-tuned to a given channel), so see if you can opt for those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, you know, don't bother with a monitor for the older daughter unless she has some sort of condition that requires constant vigilance. You'll sleep better if you aren't laying there, listening as hard as you can for a noise that isn't there. (Trust me, I know! :7)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-09T19:11:41.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5002" CreationDate="2012-05-09T19:19:46.757" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My policy is, you can post pictures without a name, or a name without a picture, but never together. Why? Because nothing can ever be removed from the Internet ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It bugs me when people tag pictures of me with my name, or mention my kids online (but not enough to nag them about it). Information about me is mine to disclose or not, and I resent the fact that it's possible to build big businesses based on the sale and resale of a corpus of personal details that only grows over time (and over which I have no control).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone born after today will always be tracked like this. It is difficult enough for kids to learn their way in the world and make mistakes, but if your mistakes can't ever be forgotten then they will always be hanging over your head. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And kids can be terrible to each other. An adult wouldn't mind it, but if one kid finds the baby pictures of another one online, they can and will be used for teasing. My daughter's middle school principal wrote a piece earlier this year about Facebook. He ended it by mentioning how many disputes that start on Facebook or other social media intrude on school time, and that he wastes a lot of time mediating them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for ranting, but this issue gets my hackles up. Start the little ones out right. :7)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-09T19:19:46.757" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5007" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5037" CreationDate="2012-05-10T09:00:44.747" Score="3" ViewCount="340" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my partner is feeding the baby, her glasses slip down because she's looking down at the baby, and she has both hands full, so she can't push them up. I'm happy to push them back on when I'm there, but I was wondering if there was any advice from bespectacled mothers on how to handle this problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T13:23:34.070" Title="How to keep Glasses on when Breastfeeding/Feeding" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5008" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5017" CreationDate="2012-05-10T09:13:18.897" Score="8" ViewCount="867" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner was in hospital for a week after the birth, and was quite distressed. Obviously, at some point during the night, the hospital will need you to leave, and you'll have to go back to your house, which is normally set up for the mother and baby, without either of those people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is obviously going to be a distressing time for the dad as well as for the mum (baby seemed quite content, the little devil), especially if it lasts for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How Can Fathers Best Deal With This Period?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(N.B. They're home now, and it's so much better, but I'm putting this q up because I wanted it to be there, but didn't feel up to asking at the time)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T16:08:36.050" Title="How can Dads Cope When Going Back to the House Alone?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5007" CreationDate="2012-05-10T11:52:58.557" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this hardly seems like an answer at all, but better fitting glasses are probably your best option. Mom likely doesn't even need new glasses, but maybe just an adjustment for a better fit around the ears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2588" LastEditorUserId="2588" LastEditDate="2012-05-10T13:15:02.293" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T13:15:02.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5002" CreationDate="2012-05-10T12:03:20.917" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wish I could comment on some of the other answers, but I'm a noob, so I can't...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, there's absolutely nothing wrong with posting your pictures, your names, all of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continuing to promote &quot;stranger danger&quot; and god-forbid-someone-gets-teased and god-forbid-someone-finds-out-about-our-mistakes philosophies is really just silly. Let's get over all that and start teaching our kids to be sensible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, people are going to laugh at their baby pictures. They're probably pretty cute. Yes, some strangers can be dangerous. But most strangers are interesting, and some are even enlightening. And, god forbid someone else actually might learn from my mistakes. If I'm not ready to laugh about mistakes and follies, then that's a problem with me, not a problem with them or a problem with the fact that my mistake was shared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach judgement, teach correctability, teach adaptability, be a good example, move on, have a good time. And most of all, share it with everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2588" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T12:03:20.917" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4965" CreationDate="2012-05-10T12:10:17.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in Georgia right now. We've been here for about 1 year. The native language is Georgian and most people (adults at least) also speak Russian. Our youngest child (age 2) understands as much Russian and Georgian as she does English (mostly due to baby sitters and playgroups), and she hasn't taken classes in any language. I've been studying Georgian for 1.5 years and currently understand less of it than she does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is that your very young child will learn whatever languages she is surrounded by. You unfortunately will have to work a lot harder. 1 year is plenty of time for her to learn as much as the kids that were born in the country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2588" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T12:10:17.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5002" CreationDate="2012-05-10T12:50:56.863" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some of my thoughts on the topic:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are the risks?&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some freaks collect pictures for their own weird purposes. That's despicable but at least the real-life risk to your kids is so small as to be nonexistent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A bigger concern is, as has been said, schoolmates that use the pics for taunting and harassment. This can be really problematic and is the biggest reason to have only &lt;em&gt;recent&lt;/em&gt; pictures online, if any at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your kids might disagree with your photo selection or commentary (now, or later). Either stick to your decision, or pull back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What can be done?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You didn't ask this but because you and others have mentioned specific sites, I'm going to chime in too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Twitter is totally public by design. If privacy is a concern, consider a different platform.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Facebook posts can be limited to a certain audience, but they have a pretty shaky history of putting privacy last.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Google+ is a young platform and has yet to prove itself. The biggest problem is that most of your friends probably aren't there, and they won't want to add another social network to their life. Pity; it would be perfectly suited to your purpose, imho, because you can limit your audience and prevent re-sharing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A blog is impractical because you can't limit your audience, except by handing out individual logins which is too cumbersome for the recipients; they probably won't bother.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One fact is true for all systems: You're putting control of your pictures in the hands of others. Some (companies, users) might be trusted, some might not. It's your call. Once you put something digital into the great big Internet, you can't ever take it out again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T12:50:56.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5001" CreationDate="2012-05-10T12:54:44.267" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most modern baby monitors use digital transmission (most often the DECT standard). This means that &lt;strong&gt;you can have two identical devices turned on&lt;/strong&gt; right next to each other, and you only have to figure out which receiver is connected to which base unit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T12:54:44.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5008" CreationDate="2012-05-10T13:09:27.730" Score="4" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mentally prepare yourself for this possibility in advance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have some other projects waiting at home, bonus points for extra manliness (to take the mind off the family). Perhaps a family website, or polishing that old motorcycle/sailboat/coin collection?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Guys night out - very last chance for a while!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That situation happened to me too. I had more than enough &quot;stuff&quot; to do at home to keep my mind off things, but the weirdest thing was repeatedly waking up in the middle of the night, convinced that I was sleeping on top of the baby - even though I knew he was still in the hospital. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T13:09:27.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5001" CreationDate="2012-05-10T13:48:44.077" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like Torben Gundtofte-Bruun said, the newer digital devices don't have that old-school problem. Additionally, devices like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B004VG6FBC&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Samsung monitor we use now&lt;/a&gt; allow multiple cameras to be paired with each monitor. This allows you to use either monitor to view either camera.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're expecting our next youngest in about 2 months, and I was hoping to get another one of these monitors so that they could work together. Amazon says &quot;currently unavailable&quot;, so it's probably been replaced with a newer model. Hopefully the newer model works with the older camera.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2588" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T13:48:44.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5008" CreationDate="2012-05-10T14:15:57.510" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stay at the hospital.&lt;/strong&gt; Some hospitals will allow the spouse to stay and may even have an extra bed in the maternity ward rooms for that purpose. See if your hospital is one of them and make use of it. Be warned, you might not get much sleep, though, between the low comfort level of most of such beds, and the night feedings and health checks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have a friend or three over.&lt;/strong&gt; Think of it as another bachelor party. It's your last night/few nights of &quot;freedom&quot; before starting a new chapter of your life where someone else is dependent on you. You can also celebrate being a dad. Have a beer, smoke a cigar, have a &lt;em&gt;Halo&lt;/em&gt; LAN party marathon, or whatever you do with your friends for fun. They can also help you get some of the other stuff done, too, especially if you still have a lot left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make a baby blanket.&lt;/strong&gt; This one's a little off the wall, but I can't resist. Take up sewing, knitting, or crochet and make a simple baby blanket. If you have a few hours each day, you could knock it out within a week. It may not look like your grandma's blankets, but your baby won't care, and you &lt;em&gt;made&lt;/em&gt; something. (Additionally, it doesn't have to be of this sort, if you have the woodworking materials, you could always make something that way, or whatever else suits your fancy. Knitting and crochet just happen to have fairly low barriers to entry.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Train your dogs.&lt;/strong&gt; If you have pets, you should be training them to be familiar with the baby, before baby ever even comes home. Up until now, you should be getting them familiar with the baby stuff. Now that baby's born, you should take home one of the blankets baby used, so they can get used to the smell. Give them lots of attention and love while exposing them to the baby's scent so they won't freak out at much when baby comes home, and to help curb jealousy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Go grocery shopping.&lt;/strong&gt; When was the last time you actually went shopping? Between Mom having no room to each much, and everyone's anticipation of the baby coming (and maybe even the excitement/anxiety of being in the hospital for a week), you're probably light in the food department. Also, now will be the time to determine whether you'll need formula and would be a good time to pick that up if you do. The same goes for diapers. Get that stuff and be ready to play chef. You can even cook up some meals ahead of time so you don't have to worry about it in the first couple of days that baby's home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Go shopping for Mom.&lt;/strong&gt; She's probably going to be feeling pretty &quot;blargh&quot; about now, between being worn out with baby, coming down from the high of the pregnancy and birth, and dealing with things like postpartum depression, C-Section scars, or extra weight she may have gained while pregnant. If you can, find out what her size is now, and go pick up something sexy (or at least nice looking), or something else that you know will make her feel good about herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Finish the nursery.&lt;/strong&gt; Even if it's &quot;finished&quot; in the sense that it's ready for baby to move in, see if there's some final polish you can add to it. Hang pictures, touch up the paint, make sure the changing station is ready, dust, polish, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clean up the house.&lt;/strong&gt; Like the shopping, some things may have been neglected. Now's the time to catch that stuff up, so you're not trying to do it around a newborn's &quot;schedule&quot;. It's also nice to come home to a clean house. Don't forget to pay the bills, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T14:15:57.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5008" CreationDate="2012-05-10T14:51:16.203" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my little one was born, it was a C-section, so they kept my wife for a bit longer than they normally would have. I was able to stay with her the entire time, sleeping on a pull-out bed in the room; in fact, it was encouraged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things I would recommend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;See if the hospital is &quot;baby-friendly&quot;.&lt;/strong&gt; Hospitals advertising themselves as such have to implement some policies and features that make the environment more conducive to new parents. One of those policies is a &quot;sleepover&quot; allowance; the hospital allows one or two other people (typically the spouse, but mothers/adult siblings are welcome if the father isn't in the picture) to stay overnight in the post-partum room, with furniture made available for the purpose. We chose the hospital we did for a combination of its nearby location, and its baby-friendly design and management.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask to stay anyway.&lt;/strong&gt; It's virtually unheard-of anymore for a father to be forced to leave his wife's side. Even in a non-&quot;baby-friendly&quot; hospital, most night-shift nurses would welcome an extra pair of hands dedicated to that mother and baby during their stay. If they ask you to leave, ask why you can't stay, and if the answer is something along the lines of &quot;it's policy&quot; then tell them they'll just have to make an exception. The policy of overnight stays by family members is generally something you should know about before you choose the hospital, and if it's forbidden, I would find another hospital if there's another one feasibly close (here in the DFW area they're plentiful, but if you live in the outskirts or a rural area there may not be another hospital for a hundred miles).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you simply cannot stay, go with Shauna's suggestions.&lt;/strong&gt; Find some productive and/or stress-relieving way to stay busy. Our nursery was &quot;finished&quot; (in that the walls were painted and there was a crib, changing table, rocker and bookcase with baskets for &quot;drawers&quot;) several months prior to the due date, but we didn't know whether it was a boy or girl, and as a result there was some last-minute decorating to do to add some pink accents. The idea of having a few friends over for a beer and some Halo is good, but ix-nay the cigars; the smoke residue on your skin and clothes (you'll even sweat the stuff out for a while so a shower won't do) is harmful to your baby. Cleaning the house is also a good decision; I had to work right up to the induction date and my wife was on bed rest, and as a result we'd let a few of the household chores go a little too long.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2012-05-14T16:08:36.050" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T16:08:36.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5019" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-10T15:27:15.783" Score="2" ViewCount="213" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm still nursing my 12 1/2 month old, about 2-3 times a day. I also give him some cow's milk in his cereal in the morning. Should he be getting any cow's milk in addition to this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To clarify, I've seen a suggestion of about 16 oz of milk a day for a baby this age, and I was wondering if that was in addition to, or in place of, nursing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="1131" LastEditDate="2012-05-15T08:12:29.783" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T08:12:29.783" Title="Should my 12 month old get milk in addition to nursing?" Tags="|toddler|breastfeeding|milk|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5019" CreationDate="2012-05-10T16:48:04.683" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, if you're planning to start weaning him now, then yes. But I didn't think kids who breastfeed got supplements of dairy. (We only bottle-fed our little ones, and ISTR that we started weaning them around one year.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T16:48:04.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5008" CreationDate="2012-05-10T16:50:39.407" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get some extra sleep, cook some meals and freeze half of everything, quickly email out the good news (since you'll be to tired once they're home), fill the fridge &amp;amp; freezer, do all the laundry you can manage.... In short, &quot;bank&quot; as much sleep and house-work as you can while it's still quiet. Then have a stiff drink and go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T16:50:39.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5008" CreationDate="2012-05-10T18:22:05.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Build up your support net prior to the delivery. Prepare friends and relatives for the birth and give them some reasonable expectations to support you just before, during, and after delivery. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Create a list of chores and work through it prior to the birth. Prioritize the chores by importance and attention. Your attention will be in demand after the birth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay at the hospital as long as you can. There's no reason you shouldn't be allowed to stay with your family. You are their primary advocate. If you need to leave for work or rest do your best to have someone else stay in your place.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you are home alone use the time to recover your strength to then devote your strength to supporting mother and child when you can get back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T18:22:05.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4917" CreationDate="2012-05-10T19:57:39.173" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I am not a parent, yet, and I am not a girl. On the outside at least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will play games. The next issue will be what the games are made of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prologue:&#xA;&lt;em&gt;I used to play _The Oregon Trail_ in school. I learned to laugh at the misfortunes of others and that having 100 boxes of ammo alone can get you across America. I did not bother to look up what &quot;dysentery&quot; means until college.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are beautiful puzzle games like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eufloria&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Eufloria&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echochrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Echochrome&lt;/a&gt; which are visually stimulating and [probably] fun while being deep in the safe side for youth. The latter you would need to watch a demo to understand how thoughtful and potentially educational it can be. There are also some touch games like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crayon_Physics&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Crayon Physics&lt;/a&gt; which are even more interactive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why not more popular games like Angry Birds and such? Well I like to classify games based on different mindsets, player capture/retention schemes, time investment and reward levels. Based on my observations, there are much better selections out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games like Angry Birds and super popular games become popular because of &quot;overwhelming rewards&quot; which are instant and audio-visually gratifying. Explosions and points are on a very superficial level. The mindset is simple and whatever physics present is overwhelmed by glitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This paradigm leads to what I can only describe as an addiction to a very basic stimulation. It is present in all genres of games so It may be hard to pinpoint what I am getting at. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next level of game balances visuals with actual complexity- meaning less chance of trial and error reward freebies yet not as fast paced and stressful as hardcore puzzles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The extreme end of this would be Tetris and Pac-Man which is &quot;trouble-avoidance&quot; rather than &quot;reward accumulation&quot; type.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The three games I recommend are of a walking pace, enough to pique interest and momentum though increasing complexity yet will not evolve into a &quot;trouble avoidance&quot; model or decline into a thoughtless plateau of &quot;reward hoarding.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will not suggest anything multiplayer over the internet for obvious reasons. Competition and cooperation are valuable to growing up, but in my opinion should not come from interacting with unknown parties over a medium you have effectively no control of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are youth oriented MMO &quot;games&quot; like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Club_Penguin&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Disney's Club Penguin&lt;/a&gt; which entails buying stuffed toys or tokens and other trinkets for virtual redemption. This strikes me as perversely over-consumerist and potentially hazardous to a child's self esteem. Any game based on real currency investment is asking for trouble. If you may think buying designer clothing for a 10-year-old may be over the top then you know ridiculous it is for a child to buy virtual status with (probably your) hard earned real money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine all the issues of lunch period social dynamics at school, except with amplified temerity in all parties granted by anonymity and physical disconnect. Would a parent really want this for their children's leisure time at home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choosing a game fit for your child is not an easy task unless you have experience with a wide gamut of games, and wide it is. From &quot;free&quot; games that are nothing less than exploitative (in the sense that it exploits the base urges of the mind, rather than challenge the mind) to blockbuster games down to classic puzzles, you have thousands of titles to choose from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most depressing thing I've learned so far is that games that fit this age group are mostly empty in substance, banking on popularity, naiveté and social media.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regards to the investment, there will be different kinds ranging from freeform where the more they play the more rewards or complexity they gain. Fixed or semi-fixed timeframe games are ones that depend on real-life timescales and limitations. Many social media type games only allow a certain amount of investment per day or some other schema. Avoid these. In fact, gaming should be &lt;em&gt;education(hopefully) during leisure time&lt;/em&gt;, not &lt;em&gt;virtual feudalism during real-life time.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Irregardless of age, the issue of investment on low tier exploitative games often leak into the players social life, hijacking friends in order to grow the game's popularity. Viral marketing, very literally. No you will probably not let your children play Farmville on Facebook or its numerous clones but don't let it's popularity mask from you from the low-class system I described above that it thrives on. Much of today's iPad Top lists are filled with these schemes. The iPad is a wonderful tool for young generation of gaming but it will be even harder to find quality content on this platform. Ironically the three games I suggest above are found on Playstation Network and iOS and the such. This should show you that quality does exist, so learn to pick out the signal from the sea of noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not telling you to make your daughters play Bridge, but if you want to be well informed then you will actually have to skip the &quot;Top Grossing&quot; lists and do your homework because video games are a serious business and may have lasting effects on your child's development because it definitely had on mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2591" LastEditorUserId="2303" LastEditDate="2015-09-02T00:16:09.967" LastActivityDate="2015-09-02T00:16:09.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4988" CreationDate="2012-05-10T20:26:17.113" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If anything, it makes kids of today show higher on the charts than they would be if a new sample was run for the charts today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The greater concern, and one that I have heard some parents say loudly and proudly, is that their kids are in the 99th percentile. By comparing the size of their child now to children of  approximately 10 years ago, in some cases they are much larger, due to obesity. However, when you look at them in comparison to other children they don't appear to be much larger. One personal observation: Our kids are at about the 75th percentile and they look very skinny by comparison to their peers. However we know them to be healthy/active children. You should also be more concerned with how their height relates to their weight. If they are in the 25th percentile of height...and 99th percentile of weight, it is likely they are heading for a serious problem (barring any extenuating circumstances, like growth issues).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2592" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T20:26:17.113" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5002" CreationDate="2012-05-10T20:30:25.407" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that is possible, and happens often enough to be disturbing, is that someone may take your pictures and use them in marketing materials without your approval.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2592" LastActivityDate="2012-05-10T20:30:25.407" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4876" CreationDate="2012-05-11T00:36:10.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you need to read Richard Ferber's &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0671620991&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems&lt;/a&gt;.  Though, I believe @Freed's answer is very close to what Ferber would recommend in this case.  Yes, there will be crying---there may even be a tantrum or two.  But, you will be establishing mutual respect between you and your child.  After the short period of tension, he will be able to sleep better and you will be more relaxed and more in control of your own life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've used Ferber's techniques on both of our children and it was one of the best decisions I think we've made as parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2593" LastActivityDate="2012-05-11T00:36:10.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5028" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-11T02:58:10.330" Score="6" ViewCount="721" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can any breastfeeding mothers (or former breastfeeding mothers) suggest a soothing Mother's Day gift?  I got my wife and mother of 2 some clothes and other things already but I wanted to throw in something well 'er soothing and thoughtful... like lanolin or a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.boppy.com/&quot;&gt;Boppy&lt;/a&gt; (she already has both).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would ask her but that would defeat the 'gift' aspect.  I would ask coworkers but that would be somewhat creepy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for thoughtful stocking stuffers for a breast feeding mom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2594" LastActivityDate="2015-09-12T21:36:52.687" Title="Gift idea for breastfeeding mom" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5029" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-11T11:02:50.943" Score="11" ViewCount="2918" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;It's not fair, why can't I do/have it as well?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This must be the recurring question that annoys me the most. Why can't the youngest do or have the same things as the eldest. Why does the eldest have to do chores the youngest doesn't have to do? etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I best respond to this line of argument, from both the younger and older child?  Would listing all of the benefits and disadvantages of each perspective help?  What are the strongest arguments for showing that the benefits of being the oldest make it not worth complaining about the things the youngest can &quot;get away with&quot;?  What are the strongest arguments for showing the youngest that the benefits of being the youngest make it not worth complaining about all the things the older child can do that the younger isn't permitted yet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1894" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-23T15:50:20.813" LastActivityDate="2019-02-24T13:27:33.703" Title="How do I explain the difference in responsibilities and privileges between the oldest and youngest child?" Tags="|communication|siblings|conflict|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5029" CreationDate="2012-05-11T14:47:22.060" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I handle this simply.  When the older child complains about work that the younger child doesn't have to do, I tell her that her younger sister does the same work that she did when she was her younger sisters age.  If complaints continue after that, I remind her that she also has privileges that her younger sister doesn't, and if she would like to be &quot;fair&quot;, she can not do the work, since her younger sister doesn't have to, but that she also loses the privilege, since her younger sister doesn't get that either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-05-11T14:47:22.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5029" CreationDate="2012-05-11T14:55:27.970" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would add to Kevin's answer about the younger child complaining about the older child's privileges.  We have 'rules' in our house, for example when you are 8 you get an email, after 4 you may not ride in a stroller, when you are in first grade you get...  They are happy to know that the rules are the same for all of them, and are age based, so everyone is equal in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-11T14:55:27.970" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3584" CreationDate="2012-05-11T15:16:31.247" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found this interesting article about the topic: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out&lt;/a&gt;. It essentially says, &lt;strong&gt;don't let your baby cry it out&lt;/strong&gt;. Letting your baby cry it out undermines their development. The article says that the whole cry it out approach is based on outdated ways of thinking, such as that it is a bad idea to touch your baby because you could give him or her germs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-05-11T15:16:31.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3584" CreationDate="2012-05-11T15:40:28.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You asked this question has it related to infants and toddlers, and I warn the two age groups are drastically different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An infant has not yet developed emotional context. Therefore, their cries &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; mean something. It's a signal of distress and needs to be addressed by the caregiver. Where as, a toddler has emotional context and can cry for many different reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't personally recommend letting an infant cry it out, unless it's required to allow the caregiver to rest, or the caregiver finds the crying will cause them to treat the infant in a harmful way. In which case, it's more important that the care giver step away from the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crying never harmed anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When an infant cries for a long period, they start to produce higher levels of the stress hormones &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Cortisol&lt;/a&gt;. Which I don't think is good for an infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2012-05-11T15:40:28.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5019" CreationDate="2012-05-11T17:40:03.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there something, specifically, that you're concerned about?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breastmilk and cow's milk taste about as similar as coffee and Pepsi. So baby won't be looking for cow's milk thinking it's yours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nutrition-wise, as long as baby is getting all of the nutrition he needs and can physically chew (if necessary) and swallow, he can eat/drink just about anything. Things like milk are actually a good way to get baby extra calories if he's behind on his growth curve, because it's pretty calorie and nutrient dense, without being hugely filling. This can be something to watch out for, but it's on par with any other foods and keeping everything in moderation, while watching your child's cues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing that you might have to watch out for is lactose intolerance. However, if you've been consuming dairy products while pregnant and/or breastfeeding and it hasn't caused problems, it's not likely to cause problems with him consuming it directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-05-11T17:40:03.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5035" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5036" CreationDate="2012-05-11T20:12:14.687" Score="5" ViewCount="19282" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it normal for an infants weight to fluctuate throughout the day or to not increase from one day to another? I have a feeling it is, fluctuation happen and average weight gain per day is an average, but if anyone could point me to research or articles of amount or ranges, that would be good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Backstory (if you care): My daughter's weight fluctuates during the day and from day to day may not see an increase. The pedi does not seem worried (says she is right on track) but I just want some hard data.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2333" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-14T12:30:53.087" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T12:53:57.147" Title="Is it normal for an infant's weight to fluctuate?" Tags="|infant|weight|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5035" CreationDate="2012-05-11T20:35:39.400" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes. OK, the long answer is, yes, and those frequent well visits to the pediatrician always start with height &amp;amp; weight measurements so that you can be sure, on a more macro scale, that the baby is growing over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-11T20:35:39.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5007" CreationDate="2012-05-11T21:13:38.890" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought some small &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hairqueen.com/ruba30.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;braiding rubber bands&lt;/a&gt; (which you can find in the &quot;ethnic hair&quot; section of any pharmacy next to hair relaxer) and wrapped a couple around the ends of my wife's glasses &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/xMoml.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;like this&lt;/a&gt;.  She says they stay up now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This type of rubber band is good because it doesn't fall apart after a few months and doesn't grab at hair the way a regular rubber band does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2597" LastEditorUserId="2597" LastEditDate="2012-05-14T13:23:34.070" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T13:23:34.070" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5035" CreationDate="2012-05-11T21:26:29.447" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't provide hard data, but...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My (breastfed) daughter had trouble with weight gain in her early months.  We were asked by medical staff &quot;Does she have heavy nappies?&quot; and all we could answer was that sometimes they were heavier than other times (after all, heavy is a relative term!), and they investigated no further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started weighing full nappies and subtracted the weight of an empty nappy, and totalled it up each day.  It turned out that the milk supply was insufficient, and she was half starved; total nappy weight for the day (age 4 months or so) was something like 400g. When we fixed the problem (with a drug that stimulates milk supply), total nappy weight for the day went up to more than double that, from memory, and from that point on weight gain was good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Measuring consumption of breast milk is difficult, and this technique allowed us to do it. Of course, it may or may not be relevant to your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2089" LastActivityDate="2012-05-11T21:26:29.447" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5039" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-12T16:32:32.157" Score="3" ViewCount="424" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4646/what-do-we-do-when-timeouts-are-not-effective&quot;&gt;What do we do when timeouts are not effective?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My children are aged 6-10. The consistent use of bad Language including the F word is way out of control. Things like idiot, loser, retard -  are just so unacceptable to me. I have tried punishment like time-out but it just doesn't work as they simply won't stay in a time-out. My patience level is over the top and I'm lost when it comes to the handling of bad language. My kids have a very good childhood, always doing nice things, a large family and good parents. Does anyone have any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2598" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T12:25:55.247" Title="How can I stop bad language in the home?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2012-05-14T12:27:05.057" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5039" CreationDate="2012-05-13T02:31:13.493" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The bigger issue, I think, is the &lt;code&gt;won't stay in time-out&lt;/code&gt;.  If you aren't holding the children to the time-out, then they aren't getting any punishment at all, and they are not learning anything about the rights and wrongs you are trying to teach them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are the authoritarian figure, so it's up to you to hold the children to the time-out so that they are using that time to learn what is right and wrong behavior.  The children need to learn to respect that.  Once you have that foundation, it becomes much easier to handle the cussing and other disobedient behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1166" LastActivityDate="2012-05-13T02:31:13.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5041" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5042" CreationDate="2012-05-13T04:52:28.867" Score="4" ViewCount="2205" Body="&lt;p&gt;We bathe our 6 month old in our bathtub. We fill the tub 1/3 of the way and we sit in there with her to bathe her. The bath water gets a little bit soapy as the bath gets underway. We put some bath toys for her in the tub as we bathe her. She likes to grab them and suck/bite on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this safe? The bath water has dirt and other things (potentially unseen poop and urine) that we wash off of her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-14T12:18:31.480" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T12:23:06.497" Title="Is it safe for a baby to suck on bath toys?" Tags="|infant|bathing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5041" CreationDate="2012-05-13T09:34:43.277" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a similar concern when I started giving my baby stackable cups in the bath, and he would drink cup after cup of water for fun :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-normal-for-my-baby-to-drink-bathwater_3652421.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Babycenter&lt;/a&gt; claims that this is normal and nothing to worry about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Altmann recommends discouraging this behavior, but says you don't need&#xA;  to be too concerned about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/ask-heidi/drinking-dirty-bathwater.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What to Expect&lt;/a&gt; makes a similar claim - although they tell you that if your baby poops in the water you should take him/her out immediately and clean the tub.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may disgust you somewhat, but it won't really harm your baby. Dirt, soap, urine, etc. is very diluted by the amount of water in the tub. And the little bit of water that your baby can swallow while chewing/sucking on a wet toy is not much to worry about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(One suggestion I've seen for the cups - give your baby cups with holes in them, or funnel-like toys, so that it's hard for them to actually drink from it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby products (toys, soaps) are made to be safe, as long as you don't actually drink directly from the soap bottle. Make sure to clean/disinfect the bath toys regularly to avoid mildew.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-14T12:23:06.497" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T12:23:06.497" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5043" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5086" CreationDate="2012-05-13T20:18:47.270" Score="4" ViewCount="3896" Body="&lt;p&gt;Background:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been diagnosed with being low on vitamin D.  Since I started taking a 1000 IU supplement that my doctor recommended, I've seen much reduced skin issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has skin issues.  We have to slather him with creams like Hydrolatum to keep his skin in good shape.  We have a prescribed steroid cream for when the Hydrolatum isn't enough.  He's had allergy tests and they have not pointed to his skin issues being an allergy issue.  We usually give him a 400 IU vitamin D/day supplement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much &lt;em&gt;total&lt;/em&gt; vitamin D does a toddler usually need, including what he gets from sun, food and supplements.  I know the 400 IU recommendation is on the low side.  We live in the US northeast so for large parts of the year, he gets very little vitamin D from sun.  Of course, he gets some from milk and the supplement we give him, but I suspect he might need something more like the 1000 IU my doctor recommended to me.  Doctors we've seen haven't been specific about the total amount of vitamin D my son needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know about &lt;a href=&quot;http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Vitamind-HealthProfessional/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the ODS Vitamin D page&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2593" LastActivityDate="2012-08-25T13:15:56.143" Title="How much vitamin D does a toddler typically need?" Tags="|toddler|nutrition|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5039" CreationDate="2012-05-14T12:25:43.847" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I whole heartily agree with LarsTech.  To add, where did the kids learn the language?  Have you asked them following with a discussion (age appropriate, maybe don't do all the kids at once) about why the specific words are not acceptable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well, once you have an idea of where the words are being learned you may be able to do something about the source. Is if a friend? Speak to the parents. Is it TV? better monitor what is watched.  Is it books they are reading?  Why are they reading those books?  Is it teachers or school?  Speak up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids only have migrated to words like stupid and hate (they are 8-2) and they know those  words is not acceptable.  They also know that poopy, fart, etc are bathroom words and we allow them to say they in the bathroom as much as they want. When they do use those words we send them to the bathroom and make them say it lots of times to get it out of their body.  Often when they say they have it all out, we send them back to do more to be sure. This is funny but also seems to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T12:25:43.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5047" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5054" CreationDate="2012-05-14T13:27:17.667" Score="1" ViewCount="2691" Body="&lt;p&gt;Background:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use normal detergent for our toddler's clothes.  Our toddler regularly develops skin rashes over most of his body; we use creams prescribed by an allergy specialist to keep the rashes under control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm allergic to SLS (I get tons of canker sores when I use regular toothpaste), so I suspect my toddler may be allergic to such detergents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's the best way to test?  If the answer is &quot;wash his clothes with a &lt;em&gt;natural&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;mild&lt;/em&gt; detergent&quot;, please note that natural SLS (e.g. Tom's of Maine) iritates me just as much as synthetic SLS, and liquid soaps with SLS are often labeled as mild/gentle.  I am very interested in hearing of specific laundry products which are known to not have any detergents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2593" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T02:26:16.453" Title="How to test whether my toddler is allergic to detergent?" Tags="|health|allergies|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5047" CreationDate="2012-05-14T16:30:20.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you're allergic, what sort of detergent do you use personally to prevent negative reactions?  Can you use those products for your toddler and see if the problem clears up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T16:30:20.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5047" CreationDate="2012-05-14T17:40:52.127" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't recommend testing an allergen on your child by yourself - that's something which should occur at your dr's office. That way, if there's a severe reaction (anaphylaxis) you and your child will be in good hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you're allergic to natural SLS (which is derived from coconut and/or palm kernel oil) - you might do well to see if you also have an allergy to those compounds too.  If not, it might be something else in the formulation which is causing it. If it is coconut and/or palm kernel that's triggering your allergy, then things get trickier as most 'eco friendly/allergy friendly' &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.natlallergy.com/prod/1855/dri-pak-pure-soap-flakes-delicate-laundry-sensitive-skin.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;alternative laundry detergents&lt;/a&gt; will contain one of the two for its foaming cleaning action. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest a trip to the allergist to have you and your child checked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T17:40:52.127" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5050" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5099" CreationDate="2012-05-14T19:05:55.350" Score="1" ViewCount="105" Body="&lt;p&gt;We need a way to introduce formula to our daughter quick. The backup milk supply we have is no longer good due to a milk allergy so is there any quick ways to introduce formula?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2333" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T20:29:59.753" Title="Daughter won't take formula" Tags="|breastfeeding|formula|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5050" CreationDate="2012-05-14T21:00:28.530" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, I called the pediatrician right after posting so I am posting what we did as an answer. The Dr suggested that we try a dropper or syringe of the formula at a time. It is slow but seems to have worked. I am still leaving this open for alternative answers in case others wander across this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2333" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T21:00:28.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5052" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-14T21:18:37.610" Score="8" ViewCount="42981" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our newborn baby (7 weeks old, ca. 4 kg) wants to drink at the breast nearly the whole day:&#xA;He drinks very slowly (one &quot;meal&quot; can take 30..60 minutes), makes a lot of breaks during drinking and mostly wants to drink again sometimes 30 minutes after the end of the last meal.&#xA;(So his mum is nearly constantly feeding and nearly has no time for eating herself or sleeping.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By controlling the child's weight before and after drinking we found, that he drinks e. g.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;40 g in 25 minutes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(The best result was 30 g in 10 minutes.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we wonder if he does not get enough milk in and therefore after a short break is hungry again (or even still hungry) and wants to drink again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;remark:&lt;/strong&gt; Up to now the development of the child's weight was perfectly ok for the pediatrician, so we assume that the child gets what it needs to grow, but at the same time, life is very difficult for the parents, especially the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions what can be done to make life easier for the parents?&#xA;(which means from my point of view teach the child to drink more milk in less time and so have shorter &quot;meals&quot; and longer breaks in between them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;edit:&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;yes, we tried to pump milk and feed with a bottle sometimes (when there was too much milk and breastfeeding was too painful for my wife). The baby drank very slowly with long breaks from the bottle (as it did during breastfeeding) but last time we tried that, he refused the bottle completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2012-05-16T19:39:58.320" LastActivityDate="2017-01-11T16:19:20.927" Title="What can be done if a breastfed newborn baby drinks too slowly?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5052" CreationDate="2012-05-14T23:33:55.640" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the first few weeks all three of ours wanted to feed almost continuously - it's a fact of life I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solution to give my wife a bit of a break was to also feed them a bottle of formula as he last feed of the evening - at around 10pm or thereabouts. This takes a bit longer to digest so let them sleep for a couple of hours longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had to ensure the milk was very warm though - hotter than we thought (when you do the check on the back of your hand it felt very hot - but was at around 35-40 degrees so I guess the milk was pretty close to the temperature they expected from the breast)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a bottle you also get the option of faster flow teats - so this could also work if you want to express milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-05-14T23:33:55.640" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5047" CreationDate="2012-05-15T01:57:41.120" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter used to have a reaction when we used normal detergents. When we started washing her clothes in &quot;Lux Pure Soap Flakes&quot; the problem went away. Eventually we were able to move her to Amolin detergent which means that we could use our washing machine for her stuff and did not have to wash her's separately to ours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T01:57:41.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5052" CreationDate="2012-05-15T02:24:20.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We bottle-fed, which allowed us to buy a whole bunch of combinations of parts until we found the right set-up for getting ours to eat at a good rate. (You should have seen the box of rejected bottles, bags, nipples, fittings, caps, etc., etc. Ugh!) As Rory points out, even if you only do it once a day it might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T02:24:20.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5047" CreationDate="2012-05-15T02:26:16.453" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience with babies who have sensitive skin, a useful tactic for limiting reactions is to avoid products with scents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T02:26:16.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5057" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-15T03:54:18.840" Score="3" ViewCount="10638" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 11-month-old hasn't been too interested in learning to crawl. I think she got tired of failing. She pushes her self backwards but can't push herself forwards. While searching for activities that could strengthen her arms, the most promising I found was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/480817-baby-arm-strength-exercises/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby pullups&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When your baby can sit up, even with support, help him practice getting into a standing position. Hold onto baby's hands and gently pull baby from a seated into a standing position. You can count or say &quot;up we go!&quot; or something that will bring a smile to his face. He'll think it's a fun game, but he's also beefing up those baby muscles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All other exercises seems to be geared to infants that are still trying to hold their toys, bu our daughter is beyond that. Moving her chubby self around required much more strength than waving a toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any other activities we can do to help strengthen our daughter's arms?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1570" LastActivityDate="2012-05-17T19:45:31.607" Title="How can I strengthen my baby's arms?" Tags="|infant|crawling|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5052" CreationDate="2012-05-15T06:49:36.233" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;7 weeks does seem like a long time to be feeding constantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has the baby ever drunk from a bottle? I wonder if the consumption rate will be faster when drinking from a bottle. Pumping/expressing at convenient times for you, storing the milk, and then feeding from a bottle at convenient times for him might offer some relief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible that he just enjoys the process, and maybe it's a pleasure you can only afford to provide once or twice a day. Pumping and bottle feeding may help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2588" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T06:49:36.233" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5059" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5060" CreationDate="2012-05-15T07:51:05.767" Score="6" ViewCount="21329" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2½ year-old is a very capable walker, but often he decides he just doesn't want to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, when we go out, he goes in the push-chair. But sometimes he wriggles and screams until we are forced to get him out of it. On these occasions, he always refuses to walk and screams &quot;Carry! Carry!&quot;. This can go on for quite a while and escalate into a massive tantrum unless we can find a suitable distraction (or bribe) to get him to go back into his pushchair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been doing this for almost a year now, and we're really out of ideas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-15T11:16:59.737" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T01:27:33.487" Title="How can I encourage my toddler to walk and not be carried?" Tags="|toddler|tantrums|walking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5059" CreationDate="2012-05-15T11:40:07.367" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've got yourself into this situation by allowing your son to decide.&#xA;He has learned that he has power over you, and that you will eventually give in to his wishes. Your way out of this situation is simple:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Don't give in. Don't let your son decide.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I read your question, the core of your problem really is that &lt;strong&gt;he gets what he wants -- that must stop.&lt;/strong&gt; He must learn that he can't have it his way; that he must do as you say. He must learn that throwing &lt;strong&gt;a tantrum no longer works.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a transition which he will not like, and it will be stressful for you too. He will pick at your defenses until he finds a gap, so you must remain firm and not give in &lt;em&gt;-- ever! --&lt;/em&gt; because giving in shows him that your new rules are not bulletproof.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Announce that he has become too heavy to carry. (If he isn't right now, he will be soon!) This is a fact and not some vague &amp;quot;I don't want to&amp;quot; response. Tell him he still has a choice - walk, or sit in the stroller. But no more carrying, that's for small babies and he is not a baby anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/tantrums&quot;&gt;other tantrum-related questions&lt;/a&gt;, they might help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T11:40:07.367" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5061" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-15T11:47:10.213" Score="14" ViewCount="5571" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with all children my son (16 months old) frequently gets himself in dangerous situations&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no problem with somewhat &quot;static&quot; situations, like trying to climb on a chair or slowly reaching for a knife. There's always time to react quickly and calmly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But sometimes the danger is much more acute, for instance (past experiences):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is running through the zoo, aiming towards a crack in a fence where he could drop in a pond. (Small enough so he fits, but large enough to prevent me jumping after him, also I was still 3 meters behind him) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He took a glass someone carelessly left under the couch and started to bang it on the wall. (I was 5 meters away sitting on a chair behind a desk)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Someone opend the door and he ran out aiming for the stairs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What to do in these situations where danger is acute and may become a matter of life and death or at least serious injury?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the first and last example where there was really grave danger, I yelled really loud. In both cases my son was startled and froze immediately, but will this work every time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the second situation he actually knew he wasn't allow to bang stuff against the wall and he was testing my reaction. Which each reaction I provided (starting from a calm 'no' to getting up to actually yelling and running) he was banging the glass even harder and faster against the wall, so what worked in the other situations actually escalated this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; To clarify my question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The existing answers focus on &lt;em&gt;prevention&lt;/em&gt;, but IMHO that goes without saying. The problem with prevention is it often fails when other persons are involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Situation 1: The fences in the zoo are specifically designed to protect small children, but someone broke a part of the fence which was not yet repaired. (At least that situation teached be to never believe someone who says something is child-proof without inspecting it myself :) )&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Situation 2: Of course I would never give a glass to my child. Someone else put it there the day before where I couldn't see it, but my son did. (Different perspective :) ) So using plastic cups is no use unless even the adults use them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Situation 3: The room was perfectly safe, until someone else who wasn't aware a child was in the room opened the door and didn't react fast enough to shut the door or hold my son. So closing the door or putting a gate before the stairs is no use, if someone leaves it open. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of that I'm asking specifically what to do in such dangerous situations - if they happen. I just want to be prepared for such a bad situation instead of just resting on a sense of security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="159" LastEditorUserId="159" LastEditDate="2012-05-15T15:36:20.910" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T21:35:10.457" Title="How to react when a child is in a dangerous situation which requires immediate reaction?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|safety|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5062" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5065" CreationDate="2012-05-15T12:24:37.047" Score="2" ViewCount="1294" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12 1/2 month old loves water. He will drink it whenever it's offered. He is currently being nursed 2-3 times a day, having 3 solid meals and 1 or 2 small snacks, and occasionally gets an ounce or 2 of milk with his meals. He has recently mastered his sippy cup, and I offer him water at meals and occasionally throughout the day. If I leave a sippy cup near him as he plays, he drinks from it often. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hot, so increased thirst is understandable. I was just wondering what's a normal amount of water for this age? Especially since he has started leaking through his diaper every single night :) Would there be any reason to limit his water intake, or can I let him drink as much  as he wants?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T13:11:46.463" Title="How much water is too much?" Tags="|toddler|water|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5061" CreationDate="2012-05-15T12:40:51.287" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The important thing at 16 months is &lt;strong&gt;controlling the environment&lt;/strong&gt;. You can discipline and explain to your child all the dangers, but they're not really developmentally ready to assess risk, and the best thing to do is to ensure that they have a safe environment to discover their boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try and maintain a situation where the dangers are kept to a non-harmful level. For example, switch to tough mugs or plastic glasses while your son is still at the stage where he likes to bang things. For &lt;strong&gt;everybody&lt;/strong&gt;, not just your son. The idea is that smashables simply can't be left lying around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put up a stairgate, which has two advantages; firstly, even if he'd got past the door, there'd be another potential barrier. Secondly, &lt;em&gt;people will think about the fact that the stairs are a danger&lt;/em&gt;, and be ready to catch the incoming toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the same token, plug covers for all the plug sockets, restrainers for all the cupboard doors he can reach, etc. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2528/what-home-safety-aspects-should-new-parents-consider&quot;&gt;This answer is pretty definitive.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people have principles concerning child tethers/harnesses/leashes, but they would have completely negated the issue you describe at the zoo, and most &lt;em&gt;children&lt;/em&gt; do not mind them at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of this will end up being responses to dangers you don't realize till you have a near-miss, but with enough work, you can generally limit the dangers around your home to the stuff that'll merely involve a quick trip to the doctors, rather than to A&amp;amp;E.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T21:35:10.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5061" CreationDate="2012-05-15T12:45:48.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Prevention in the first place is considerably more effective. Our approach with our kids was to be very flexible and let them experience some risk, but as the risk increased we would make sure we were closer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the first example you gave, at that age we would probably have been holding their hands or using reins. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the second it is &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; responsibility to make sure you are either close enough to take away a dangerous object or that you check there are no dangerous objects in the area.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Similarly for the third one, you make sure you are close enough or you remove the risk altogether.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These apply at a young age, but what is very important is how you educate them about risk as they get older - and discipline is a big part of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't say &quot;No&quot; and let them continue to do something - you need to give timeouts, naughty corner or whatever works for you as a punishment so they rapidly learn what is naughty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach led to us very rapidly having kids who behaved at a level we could take them anywhere without needing to child-proof in advance - by about the age of 2, our kids knew not to go near a fire, or a cabinet with glasses in etc., which made life easier on our childless friends when we came to visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T12:45:48.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5062" CreationDate="2012-05-15T13:11:46.463" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say let him drink as much as he wants: that's what his kidneys are for. True, it will mean more diaper changes (and so possibly more waking up overnight), but it won't hurt him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for a &quot;normal&quot; amount of water, that depends on the child's body mass, food intake, climate, and a lot of other factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T13:11:46.463" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5059" CreationDate="2012-05-15T13:16:43.930" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you really HAVE to hurry, then scoop him up wordlessly: no talking or yelling or drama.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rest of the time, remind him in a steady voice that he is a big enough boy to walk now, and just refuse. It sounds callous, but he has to believe you are serious -- and the only way to do that is to warn him that he will not be carried, and then do what you say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T13:16:43.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5057" CreationDate="2012-05-15T13:18:38.513" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When she is on her tummy, put her favorite toy juuuust a bit out of reach so that she has to go to it. The effort of holding up her top half while also moving forward will give her a strong incentive, and (as long as you don't do it too much) can be fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T13:18:38.513" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5057" CreationDate="2012-05-15T13:38:17.657" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;11 months is not &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; late. Sure, some kids walk or talk at that age, but they are exceptions - every kid is unique, and in the end it doesn't really matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, first of all: Don't stress yourself, she will learn it soon enough. Don't think she's lazy or has given up trying, though. It takes time and practice, and she'll get the hang of it eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you're mentioning &lt;em&gt;crawling&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;standing up&lt;/em&gt; but these are different things of course. She's got to learn crawling before walking (although there are exceptions) so focus on that. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5067/109&quot;&gt;Will's answer&lt;/a&gt; is fine and can work in lots of situations. &lt;em&gt;&quot;Juuust out of reach&quot;&lt;/em&gt; is wonderful training. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she can't she sit herself up, and/or can't remain sitting on her own, then she's just not ready for that yet. Sitting requires strong back muscles which is trained by being on the tummy and lifting the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T13:38:17.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5069" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5078" CreationDate="2012-05-15T14:45:28.557" Score="2" ViewCount="1431" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2 years old child sometimes asks to use the toilet, but then doesn't poop after all. We have been successful a few times, but sometimes it happens on the carpet instead. We keep saying that he should not poop on the carpet, but he still does it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How did you teach your child to do this right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2609" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-15T15:00:22.047" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T13:19:24.663" Title="How to teach a 2 year old to go on the toilet?" Tags="|toddler|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5070" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-15T16:53:09.910" Score="3" ViewCount="1253" Body="&lt;p&gt;A doctor told us that the all of the &quot;cow milk based&quot; formulas are all the same so it doesn't matter which one we use. So I say we get the cheapest and use whatever free stuff we can get no matter the brand (as long as it's the cow based milk and not, say, soy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But then people think I'm crazy and the baby is going to have all sorts of problems. And I say just because the baby was fussy one day after switching formula doesn't mean the formula was the reason . . . babies get fussy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, am I crazy for switching formulas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="63" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T04:11:12.890" Title="Is it really that big a deal to switch between different formulas?" Tags="|infant|formula|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5071" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-15T17:02:28.603" Score="5" ViewCount="6079" Body="&lt;p&gt;The primary ingredient for the regular infant formula is &quot;nonfat milk&quot;. The primary ingredient for the &quot;gentlease&quot; and &quot;sensitive&quot; formulas is &quot;corn syrup&quot;. Seems to me we should be going with the regular infant formula even if that means a little gas. Am I wrong for thinking milk is better than corn syrup?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="63" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T19:47:07.337" Title="Are the &quot;gentlease&quot; and &quot;sensitive&quot; infant formulas anything more than sugar water?" Tags="|infant|formula|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5069" CreationDate="2012-05-15T17:03:22.427" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bribery!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bribed our toddler (just turned 3) with television, which he's normally not allowed to have.  He also had conjunctivitis at the time, so he wasn't allowed to play with other children for fear of spreading the infection.  So he had to stay home for at least three days with no other contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time he wanted to watch an episode of his favorite show (Curious George), he had to use the potty.  Did it violate the recommendations of every pediatrician regarding television?  Absolutely.  But it worked; he now runs to the bathroom every time he needs to go (with some minor relapses when his sister was born).  As a commercial plug, Netflix is great for this kind of thing; there are 70+ episodes of the show there, no commercials (beyond the show itself, of course), and no fumbling with a DVD that can get scratched by said three year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried potty training earlier, but he just wasn't ready yet.  Some kids potty train earlier than others; friends of ours claim to have potty trained their daughter by 1.5 years of age, mainly by letting her run around without a diaper and saying that pooping/peeing on the carpet was bad, and that she needed to use the toilet.  That approach, for us, just ended up with a lot of soiled floors.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents claim that I was potty trained at 2, mainly by making diapers extremely uncomfortable as soon as they got wet.  According to them, diapers were just painful, especially if I'd had orange juice to drink, and so I wanted to be out of them as soon as possible.  Today's diapers, by contrast, are so absorbent that there's a lot less discomfort.  Cloth diapers might accomplish the same level of irritation, but we never used them, so I don't know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Yes, I've admitted to bribing my son, letting him watch hours of TV, and never using cloth diapers.  I don't think I'm winning any parenting awards here.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T17:03:22.427" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5070" CreationDate="2012-05-15T18:21:19.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, my four kids were a little picky, and we had to try a few brands to find one formula that they each liked. BUt if yours isn't as fussy then go for it. What's your pediatrician say?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T18:21:19.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5029" CreationDate="2012-05-15T18:22:38.590" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a five year old and a three year old, and the five year old is starting with the &quot;That's not fair&quot; routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is unorthodox, but I don't actually respond to this with a privilege/responsibility thing. I'm pretty clear with my 5 year old that life is almost never fair or just. What I tend to say is &quot;It still needs to be done.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As in &quot;She made the mess, why do I have to clean it up?&quot; &quot;It doesn't matter whose toys they are, it matters that they get picked up.&quot; Or &quot;It doesn't have to be fair, it just has to be clean.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't get me cheerful cooperation, but it does end the conversation and he does do the chore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My reasoning is basically that I don't want to get into arguments over the rules with a playroom lawyer. I don't care what the rules say, I care whether the dishes are done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The youngest child might be right. Maybe it isn't fair that they can't do something that the older child can do, and maybe the benefits of being the younger don't outweigh that unjust situation. It doesn't have to be fair or just, and I suspect that once you agree with their premise that your rules should be fair and just than you are opening yourself up to major whining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastEditorUserId="94" LastEditDate="2012-05-15T18:28:15.430" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T18:28:15.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5069" CreationDate="2012-05-15T18:23:01.760" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Leave them sitting on there for as long as they will stay (until they wet or poop) -- but put the diaper back on immediately when they stand up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-15T18:23:01.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5070" CreationDate="2012-05-16T09:49:26.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you're crazy. No formula choice is eternally binding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It so happens that our local store has one brand that is always a good price, so we go with that. But if another brand would be of equal quality and cost 40% less, then I would not have hesitated to switch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't pick the formula based on any particular name brand - we just saw what the market had to offer and made a decision based on ingredients and price. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-05-16T09:49:26.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5029" CreationDate="2012-05-16T12:50:20.227" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we were young we were told that &quot;fair&quot; doesn't mean everyone gets the same amount, it means everyone gets what they deserve (&lt;em&gt;one of the synonyms of &quot;fair&quot; is &quot;Just&quot; as in Justice&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;e.g. You've just finished dinner and 3 friends call.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Q: You have a cake to share between your friends, what's fair?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A: Each gets one quarter of the cake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: You have a cake to share between you and your friends, one of your friends hasn't eaten for two days. What's fair?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A: That unfortunate friend gets the entire cake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older child can do more, is stronger and is more responsible. It's unfair to ask the younger kid to try to do the same &amp;amp; take the same responsibilities as  as the older kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="703" LastEditorUserId="703" LastEditDate="2012-05-16T12:57:48.690" LastActivityDate="2012-05-16T12:57:48.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5069" CreationDate="2012-05-16T14:21:32.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two thoughts,&#xA;Yes your child is interested and should be encouraged, but your child might not actually be ready physically.&#xA;As well, do not get upset or punish the child when accident happens.  As much as possible wear underwear at home, but a diaper or pull up out of the house and defiantly at bed time.  treat accidents as matter of fact, clean up and move on.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I find at this stage bribery is not the answer because the child really has no control.  Use bribery to get the child to sit on the toilet at regular intervals, not just when they make.  Read a book to the child while on the potty to make them be able to sit longer.  Sing the 'potty poop' song when they make.&#xA;Relax.  the more relaxed you are the less of a deal it will be for them and they will learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-16T14:21:32.820" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5061" CreationDate="2012-05-16T14:28:56.663" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never hit my kids and I very rarely scream or raise my voice, if I can control myself.  However, my 3 year old ran into the street.  I said very sternly 'No that is dangerous' and swatted him on the butt, not too hard.  He got the point as I never had done that before or since. There are very few times when this is appropriate but in a very dangerous situation I feel it is needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-16T14:28:56.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5080" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5101" CreationDate="2012-05-16T19:49:15.187" Score="6" ViewCount="27510" Body="&lt;p&gt;A midwife once said that babies might sleep camly in the loudest environment (radio or tv sound, party, etc.), but later they are &quot;reprocessing&quot; all this input and will be unsettled or even won't sleep in the evening.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder if there are studies about negative effects of background noise on newborn babies, e.g. if&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby is awake and in the background there is the sound of a TV (but the baby can not see it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby is sleeping in a room where there is the sound of a TV (but the baby can not see it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2013-12-14T22:52:34.130" Title="Does/can it have a negative effect, if newborns/infants are exposed to background noise (TV, ...) while awake or sleeping?" Tags="|infant|newborn|television|noise|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5052" CreationDate="2012-05-16T20:37:54.870" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say he's taking a lot of 'breaks' during nursing - is he falling asleep, becoming distracted, or?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son fell asleep at the breast, I used to stroke his cheek to keep him awake or brush the nipple against his lips to encourage a latch and suckling.  If he's distracted, try seeing if your wife can nurse him with a light blanket/cloth diaper or something draped loosely over them so there's not as much visual stimulation which could distract him from nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2012-05-16T20:37:54.870" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5061" CreationDate="2012-05-17T04:02:15.577" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Prevention and controlling the environment are great, but as you say, it's good to be prepared for uncontrollable situations that can arise at any time. In any situation with imminent danger, raise your voice and immediately run over to physically intervene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important preparation is to make sure to never use a loud voice casually. If you only raise your voice in rare and urgent situations, then a child instinctively knows to stop. Any time you need to raise your voice, accompany this with an immediate physical reaction by running over to intervene. Don't give the child any chance to test whether you are serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you did the right thing in the first and third situations. In the second situation, however, slowly escalating just gave the child a chance to test whether you were serious. He knew that you could have intervened earlier by running over and taking the glass but didn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2385" LastActivityDate="2012-05-17T04:02:15.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1521" CreationDate="2012-05-17T07:49:35.460" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Six is way too young to begin puberty. Have him evaluated by a physician as soon as possible! The nine-year-old is also on the very young side. I'd have him checked out, too. Precocious puberty can result in &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4690910/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;compromised adult height&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2615" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-02T16:36:57.057" LastActivityDate="2018-04-02T16:36:57.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5057" CreationDate="2012-05-17T19:45:31.607" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know various infants who didn't really get crawling forwards for a long time, despite crawling backwards successfully for a while.  Two of mine got crawling easily but the other one didn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And apparently I didn't crawl- was a bit of a chubby baby so just sat about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These things come at different times, I wouldn't worry at 11 months though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-05-17T19:45:31.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5061" CreationDate="2012-05-17T23:12:30.300" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think yelling loudly to get the child's attention paired with getting to the child as quickly as possible is the best answer in these kinds of situations.  This is especially true if you avoid yelling as an everyday thing, and reserve it for important moments when you really need the kid's attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-05-17T23:12:30.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5043" CreationDate="2012-05-17T23:47:48.733" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer to the questions about adequate doses of vitamin D, is that jrennie should have much more and her child should also have it´s one dosis. &#xA;jrennie needs about 5000 IU and the child needs depending on age 1000-2000-3000 IU or more. Why don´t you learn from VDC,  the Vitamin D Council. &#xA;Best wishes from a swedish doctor, who made the lessons about vitamin D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Healthy children under the age of 1 years – 1,000 IU.&#xA;Healthy children over the age of 1 years – 1,000 IU per every 25 lbs of body weight.&#xA;Healthy adults and adolescents – at least 5,000 IU.&#xA;Pregnant and lactating mothers - at least 6,000 IU.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/about-vitamin-d/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/about-vitamin-d/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/vitamin-d-levels-linked-to-allergies-and-eczema-in-children/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/vitamin-d-levels-linked-to-allergies-and-eczema-in-children/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry, but I do feel I have to give you another link about the problem with vitamin D dificiency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/sunscreen-use-may-lead-to-vitamin-d-deficiency/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/sunscreen-use-may-lead-to-vitamin-d-deficiency/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2617" LastEditorUserId="583" LastEditDate="2012-05-18T20:24:45.077" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T20:24:45.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5071" CreationDate="2012-05-18T02:32:41.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Note that nonfat milk could reasonably be called protein-fortified sugar water.  The &lt;a href=&quot;http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/dairy-and-egg-products/139/2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;nutritiondata entry for milk&lt;/a&gt; indicates that one cup of nonfat milk is 12g sugar, 8g protein, 222g water (and 3g other).  Compare the nutrition information for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.enfamil.com/app/iwp/enf12/product.do?dm=enf&amp;amp;id=/Consumer_Home3/FeedingSolutions/EnfamilGentleaseLIPIL2&amp;amp;iwpst=B2C&amp;amp;ls=0&amp;amp;cm_mmc=Digitas-SEM-_-Google-Solutions-_-Gentlease-_-gentlease&amp;amp;csred=1&amp;amp;r=3514760267&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Gentlease&lt;/a&gt; versus &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.enfamil.com/app/iwp/enf12/product.do?dm=enf&amp;amp;id=/Consumer_Home3/Infants/EnfamilPremiumInfant&amp;amp;iwpst=B2C&amp;amp;ls=0&amp;amp;csred=1&amp;amp;r=3514760338&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;regular Enfamil&lt;/a&gt; and you'll find that they are quite similar.  My experience is that formulas are very similar in terms of nutrition.  So, if I were you, I'd go with whatever formula works best for your baby that fits within your budget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2593" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T02:32:41.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5080" CreationDate="2012-05-18T12:50:06.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have never heard of this, either as &quot;received knowledge&quot; or with any data to back it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T12:50:06.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1521" CreationDate="2012-05-18T13:10:06.353" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely a doctor's appointment is appropriate.  Be sure to not alarm your child with statements of &quot;this is not normal&quot;.  Approach the appointment/concern through the lense of health so that your child sees taking care of himself as important.&#xA;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2107" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T13:10:06.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5069" CreationDate="2012-05-18T13:16:05.393" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child is starting to understand and that is good!  As the parent of four children, I quickly learned that each child learns at their own pace...including the potty thing! The one thing we did that helped with our children was to take them to the store to buy &quot;fun&quot; undies (my daughter picked Barney...)  All of my children responded with &quot;I don't want to pee/poo on &lt;strong&gt;__&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; Continue to encourage and reward...stay relaxed, it will happen.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2107" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T13:16:05.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5069" CreationDate="2012-05-18T13:19:24.663" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reward him when he goes in the potty.  Whatever he likes, an activity, food, ice cream, whatever it is.  Tell him each time he goes in the potty, he earns it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That should do it pretty quick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T13:19:24.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5061" CreationDate="2012-05-18T13:30:16.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;An ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.  An 18 month old requires a lot of monitoring so stay close and when your child engages in a dangerous behavior, speak sternly, using your best deep voice, dads are usually a good choice since they typically have a higher intimidation factor than mom.  If its a behavior that could re-occur, a smack on the fanny is pretty effective too.  At 18 months, be very brief, like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;No, that is dangerous - fanny smack while removing them from the situation/area.&quot; in a deeper voice than usual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;AS they get older, introduce more reasoning and time out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Love them to death!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T13:30:16.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5095" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-18T14:48:14.053" Score="15" ViewCount="79183" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do. We have been trying to get our son to poop in the toilet since he was 3. He is now 5 and shows no signs of starting any time ever. He has done it once or twice but he poops in his underwear almost daily. I have tried asking him about it in every way that I can and i never seem to get anything more than &quot;I don't know&quot; as to why he didn't go to the toilet. (He can pee no problem) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried rewards, sitting him there regularly etc nothing works.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update a bunch of months later:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are now at the end of our ropes. He still does not poop on the toilet. We have a rule that we give them a shower when they poop themselves (so we can get them clean) And when I just showered him I asked him why he can't poop on the toilet. He was unable to respond to me, its like he forgot how to talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried bribing him with toys, making him sit on the toilet, they are working with him at school (or so I understand) and so far NOTHING works. He has pooped on the toilet twice in the last year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now his younger brother is doing the same. He actually was using the toilet for a while, but now is back to pooping his pants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update, Even more months later&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has now been something like 2 1/2 years and he is still not pooping on the toilet. Its not that he has accidents sometimes its that he poops his underpants &lt;em&gt;EVERY&lt;/em&gt; day. As far as I can tell he makes no sign of having to go and has no clue that he is about too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes to a special needs school (He is somewhat autistic) and they have been working with him but still nothing. We have tried offering him stickers or candy for pooping on the toilet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update: Dec 2012&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point I am at a loss, we have taken him to the Doctor and as far as we can tell there is nothing physically wrong. And the doctor has no idea of what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point he won't even sit on the toilet, if you try to get him to sit (never mind actually poop) he will scream bloody murder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: Jan 2014, he finally is toilet trained, about 2 weeks ago. Much less stress on the part of the adults of the house&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="457" LastEditorUserId="457" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T04:17:37.180" LastActivityDate="2014-07-13T13:31:40.380" Title="Help! My 5 year old just won't poop on the toilet" Tags="|pre-schooler|toilet-training|encopresis|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2012-05-18T15:02:11.487" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does he go to daycare?  Usually, seeing other kids use the toilet helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2618" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T15:02:11.487" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5080" CreationDate="2012-05-18T15:08:08.903" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Coincidentally, we watched tv with our 6 week old twins last night for about 3 hours. They seemed to completely ignore the two police procedurals and mythbusters, all had explosions. No noticable changes in either's eating or sleeping habits overnight. UPDATE: Both had at least one period where they slept an hour longer than normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither one had an awake-but-not-eating (checking out the world) session during this time. If awake, they were focused on food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do not make a habit of this, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2007" LastEditorUserId="2007" LastEditDate="2012-05-18T15:48:53.067" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T15:48:53.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2012-05-18T17:28:50.483" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few ideas/suggestions/questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have you spoken to a pediatrician about a physical issue?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does he watch you poop and then help you flush?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He may be afraid, many children are, of allowing 'part of him' to be flushed away.  Flush his poop down the toilet even from his diaper/underpants.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does he make any sign he is making? React to it FAST!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does he poop at the same time of day? React to it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does he wear diapers or underpants?  Put him in underpants and when he has an accident have him go to the bathroom where you keep a basket of underpants and have him flush away the poop, wipe, and change by himself thereby taking away the attention entirely (yes you will have to teach him to do this first)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T17:28:50.483" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5050" CreationDate="2012-05-18T20:29:59.753" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your wife is the one trying to give the formula, your daughter might refuse it because she can smell her mother's milk.  You might have to be the one to give the formula and your wife might have to leave the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, dropper or a small (plastic) shotglass (It's how I gave my son expressed milk when we were having latching issues) should do until she's gotten used to the formula. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T20:29:59.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5052" CreationDate="2012-05-18T20:43:08.980" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Cause 1: Foremilk/hindmilk imbalance&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;When you start a breastfeeding session the first milk that comes out is very watery and thirst quenching. As you continue to nurse the milk becomes increasingly more fatty and appetite quenching. If your wife suffers from an oversupply of milk or switches sides during a nursing session too frequently, the baby will get too much watery foremilk and thus not feel satiated and want to nurse longer to stimulate supply. It is best to alternate breasts no more frequently than approximately every 2-3 hours (if she has a severe case of oversupply this may increase to as much as switching sides every 6 hours), to make sure the baby completely empties the breast and gets a solid helping of higher-fat hindmilk. If the baby is still hungry after completely emptying one breast it is, of course, ok to offer the other after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Cause 2: Nipple confusion&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Sometimes babies who are offered bottles in addition to the breast develop a &quot;preference&quot; for bottles because they don't have to work by sucking to get the milk, and will sit there not sucking and swallowing while nursing. Solutions would include eliminating bottles, or selecting a bottle with an extra slow-flow nipple or two-stage nipple that most mimics the effort required to breastfeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Cause 3: Growth Spurt&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;From the age you've listed, your daughter is probably just coming out of her 6 week growth spurt. Growth spurts come and go, and babies will typically want to nurse what seems to be constantly for about a week. So it's likely what you've been seeing in the last week or two is above average and will soon subside. Letting her nurse as long as your wife can stand it is the best thing you can do as your supply adjusts a couple days in and they can take in extra calories. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Cause 4: Comfort Nursing&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Nursing is comforting for babies. Sometimes they nurse when they aren't even hungry, just because it's comforting. It's a lot easier to identify this type of nursing in older babies because the difference is more pronounced, but basically they stop sucking hard and swallowing and just suck lightly without swallowing sounds. If the amount of comfort nursing is more than mommy can handle, a pacifier, used in moderation, is a good solution, however be cautious not to offer the pacifier when the baby really is just hungry and needs feeding. Compressing the breast to express a little extra milk in their mouth to encourage them to swallow more may also help. If the baby isn't really hungry, they aren't going to be efficient about eating...offering to eat later when they're more hungry may get better results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Cause 5: Baby is falling asleep&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Babies like to nurse to sleep. If the baby is sleeping, it is ok to unlatch the baby and put them down for a nap. Healthy six week old babies will wake up to nurse when they get hungry enough, and take frequent naps. If the baby genuinely needs to eat and can't stay awake well for any of her feedings and needs help staying awake to feed, you may want to try additional techniques such as lowing the temperature controls, removing some clothing or blankets from the baby, gentle rubbing or tickling, dimmed lighting and non-stimulating environment while nursing, wiping with a dampened cloth, etc. (additional techniques: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/waking-a-sleepy-baby&quot;&gt;http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/waking-a-sleepy-baby&lt;/a&gt; ) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Cause 6: Baby is perfectly normal&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;6 week old babies typically nurse every 2-3 hours, 8-10 times a day or more, with nursing sessions that may last 30-60 minutes. Breastmilk is digested quicker than formula, so breastfed babies need to eat more frequently, on demand rather than on a schedule. Some babies like to cluster-feed and have several of their daily feedings close together throughout the day, more frequently than every 2 hours. Prepare a snack station for mommy next to her favorite nursing spot with snacks and beverages that are easy to eat with one hand, put on a movie or music to keep mommy from getting too bored, and get comfy. And keep in mind, this too will pass! As they get older they become more efficient at nursing and will only take 10-15 minutes instead of 30-60 for a feeding, and will feed less times a day. There's really nothing you can do to teach them to nurse more efficiently, they pick it up on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-05-18T20:43:08.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5080" CreationDate="2012-05-19T05:47:53.500" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's probably a study to support whatever theory there is you want to believe in. For this particular one about tv, here's one:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentdish.com/2009/06/08/study-finds-television-noise-delays-development/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parentdish.com/2009/06/08/study-finds-television-noise-delays-development/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally don't think it is true. But then I don't want to argue with statistics. However, the reason for my argument is that when the babies are asleep, they are usually in a pretty heavy state of sleep. The brain just blocks out pretty much everything. When my 2-month-old is asleep, it doesn't matter how loud and crazy her other siblings are (fighting, arguing or just playing), she will sleep right through it all. And the same goes to tv noises. She'd be sleeping on her swing with back facing the tv while the tv is on (which is somewhat rare during school days) and still won't skip a beat sleeping. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I brought up three other kids this way. And all of them are doing just fine in school even as 2nd language learners. They keep up just fine and even excel with one or two other subjects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth is, it all depends on what you do consistently all the time, not just &quot;while the tv is one when she's asleep&quot;... it's also the times when she's awake and if that she's stimulated by having someone talking to her... etc. And just keep doing it. She will be just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What many studies don't do is taking other conditions under which these kids may have been brought up in -- are the families all from the same social-economic background? Do the parents have equivalent educational backgrounds, temperaments and enough time to spend with the kids... etc. Think about it -- in an environment where the tv is on all the time, is it possible that maybe the parents are too busy looking after the kids in general (hence parking the kids in front of the tv), and by doing so may have indirectly delayed the growth? But it's not necessarily the tv's fault... but rather the parents did not have the time to stimulate the kids consistently. And there are many factors besides just tv.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2 cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2621" LastActivityDate="2012-05-19T05:47:53.500" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2012-05-19T16:17:47.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to get a toddler toilet trained is to encourage. Allow him in the room while you go. Another good way is sticker charts, get him to sit on the loo with clothes on and make a big fuss of it and work down to no clothes. Each time make a fuss and give him a sticker. Then get him to actually try and poo. Make a big fuss of it. He will like to please and then try again. It takes time and some children can be 6/7 before full potty trained. The worst thing you can do is be annoyed or angry at him (don't show any emotion apart from happiness).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2622" LastActivityDate="2012-05-19T16:17:47.913" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5103" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5153" CreationDate="2012-05-19T17:16:09.787" Score="3" ViewCount="22698" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is only 14 months old, but we have recently noticed that he has a white hair on his head. Should we worry? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2450" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-19T18:50:24.113" LastActivityDate="2016-06-19T06:43:16.617" Title="Grey hair on a 14 month old baby" Tags="|toddler|infant|hair|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5070" CreationDate="2012-05-19T17:50:46.153" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5003/112&quot;&gt;Some&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1706/112&quot;&gt;answers&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2548/where-can-i-find-good-research-on-long-term-health-impact-of-different-types-bra#comment3841_2548&quot;&gt;or comments&lt;/a&gt; on this site indicate that due to strict minimum nutrition standards, formulas are all basically the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing I could possibly come up with is taste, but I guess as long as your infant accepts it and doesn't turn purple, I'd say you're not crazy and any formula goes :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="112" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-05-19T17:50:46.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5028" CreationDate="2012-05-19T20:10:06.503" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, off the top of my head --&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A nice reusable cup (like the insulated coldcups that come with straws), so that she always has something to drink while she's nursing. You can fill it with the individual packs of drink mixes in her favorite flavors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A nursing necklace -- something that she can wear had have it be pretty, and that the baby can play with while he or she nurses. There are some REALLY nice ones out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="222" LastActivityDate="2012-05-19T20:10:06.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5028" CreationDate="2012-05-19T21:37:58.487" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a BIG gift, the kind that's probably birthday and Mother's Day, but I'd recommend a smartphone/iPod Touch or smaller e-Reader. An internet/reading device that can be used one handed is a real sanity-saver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see Dave Clarke above suggested an iPad, but I don't know how well they work one handed, whereas I happen to know the keyboard kindle works really well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-05-19T21:37:58.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5108" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5133" CreationDate="2012-05-20T18:20:17.417" Score="7" ViewCount="3772" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2½ years old and he eats as if someone is going to take his food away from him - although that has never happened. He stuffs his mouth and barely chews the food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've always told him to take small bites, then chew, then swallow. Sometimes he does this, sometimes he doesn't. Perhaps 2½ is too early but I expect that it should be possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is not the meal size, but the mouthfuls. Any tips?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T23:40:17.960" Title="How do I teach my toddler to chew his food?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5108" CreationDate="2012-05-21T03:38:00.627" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers are toddlers.  You can't really reason with them.  There's nothing  you can say that will make a light bulb go off above his head, and then nod sagely as he understands your sound argument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he choking on foods?  Is it a serious problem?  If so, it may be time to give him mashed or blended food that he won't choke on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, I imagine that this is a problem that will fix itself.  He'll get a little older, and eventually figure out how to chew his food.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2624" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T03:38:00.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5103" CreationDate="2012-05-21T03:42:39.577" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A little odd, sure.  Just the one?  How long has it been there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd keep an eye out for others.  Maybe its just a weird fluke hair follicle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2624" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T03:42:39.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2012-05-21T03:46:11.020" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let him run around the house naked.  This was how we potty trained mine.  Make sure he knows what's expected, and then see if he poops on the floor, or makes it to the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2624" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T03:46:11.020" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5112" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-21T12:27:46.683" Score="1" ViewCount="11901" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to use laptop to play DVDs and shows to kids. Now my kids are 6 and 3 and it is not easy to find a show which is suitable for both. Also my laptop died.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is your headphone setup (I am trying to avoid playing it over car audio speakers)? What device you use (table,pc, dvd player) and any tips appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2625" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-22T08:32:32.577" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T13:31:00.990" Title="What is your setup in a car for kids to watch kids movies or shows? (2 kids, separate programs)" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|travel|entertainment|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2018-08-29T13:09:32.877" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5112" CreationDate="2012-05-21T12:58:56.153" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you must have separate viewing your simplest bet its to buy two DVD players. Your youngest should probably have a headrest screen, controlled from the front seat, but the elder one could cope just add easily with a laptop version. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, when considering sound, your 6 year old should manage headphones but at 3, some do and some don't. Either way, ensure you have control of maximum volume!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are so many on the market it will probably cone down to a cost decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We actually found there were enough films on the market with wide appeal that we could provide our 3 (with 7 years separation) enough videos for entire holidays (eg Toy Story, Cars etc.) so we only got one portable DVD player for the 3 of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-05-21T13:06:52.847" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T13:06:52.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5114" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-21T13:56:01.227" Score="7" ViewCount="7023" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child will be 12 months old next week. He was born 6 weeks prematurely. My concern is that he doesn't seem to understand what anyone of us says. He does look when I say &quot;look&quot; and he does respond to his name, for the most part. I see online that babies should be understanding and performing simple commands, such as, give to mommy. I feel my child is not even in the ball park of something like that. He doesn't have any gestures like waving or pointing, but he does reach to be picked up and has started to clap. He babbles, but has no meaningful words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this of concern at this point? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2627" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-22T12:25:15.980" LastActivityDate="2019-08-22T12:30:13.537" Title="Should I be concerned about my 12-month-old not understanding what we say?" Tags="|infant|language-development|speech|premature|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5108" CreationDate="2012-05-21T13:59:08.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We also had an issue with too big of bites with one of our children.  We played the &quot;counting&quot; game to see if he could chew a certain number of times...made it a game and it worked great!  (slowed our eating pace down too) Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2107" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T13:59:08.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5114" CreationDate="2012-05-21T16:49:34.873" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best advice is to ask your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well, at least around here, there is a program run by the city called birth to three where they will come evaluate a child for free and then have a sliding pay scale should services be needed.  Check to see if your area has something like this.  We used them and they were great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T16:49:34.873" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5112" CreationDate="2012-05-21T17:20:28.737" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about double iPads/iPods?  Might be cheaper than an actual embedded DVD player, and once you have the dvd's in iTunes then you don't have to worry about losing the disks.  You can also take them into restaurants to get the kids to sit down and chill out if you're just at the end of your rope and can't manage wrangling both of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T17:20:28.737" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5071" CreationDate="2012-05-21T18:46:07.490" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a big difference between sugar and  more complex carbs like lactose. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.foodreactions.org/intolerance/lactose/absorption.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.foodreactions.org/intolerance/lactose/absorption.html&lt;/a&gt; for an in-depth explanation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lactose will be converted to only glucose, and this will only happen in the small intestine, at a certain rate. Corn syrup however is glucose + fructose, which will hit the blood as soon as it can. Fructose has several issues, see &lt;a href=&quot;http://high-fat-nutrition.blogspot.com/2012/05/on-glut5.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://high-fat-nutrition.blogspot.com/2012/05/on-glut5.html&lt;/a&gt; for some background (sorry not really an overview link but better than the Lustig lecture). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the blood sugar response between the two types will be different, with the corn syrup one unlike what babies will experience on mothers milk, and the fructose in corn syrup may cause  stress on the baby's body, it is a sugar babies are normally not exposed to until they eat fruit and even then not in very high volume. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add to that the possible antinutrients that are in corn and in the syrup, and corn syrup becomes a cheap but in my eyes criminal choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mind you I think &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.westonaprice.org/childrens-health/recipes-for-homemade-baby-formula&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.westonaprice.org/childrens-health/recipes-for-homemade-baby-formula&lt;/a&gt; is the best formula so I'm probably biased :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastEditorUserId="1633" LastEditDate="2012-05-21T19:47:07.337" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T19:47:07.337" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5114" CreationDate="2012-05-21T19:32:09.460" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had our daughter tested by an audiologist who often dealt with children. Although our daughter was fine, the audiologist told us that most parents bring their children in when it's way too late. Some children had gone years without their problems being diagnosed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Morah said, speak to a pediatrician but also ask about the option of having your child's hearing tested. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't comment about costs in your region but our audiology test was 100% covered by medicare (Australia). The pediatrician cost a small fortune ($370 for 45 minutes) of which we got back half from the government. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T19:32:09.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5052" CreationDate="2012-05-21T22:02:18.987" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My solution was to just wait it out.  The first 4 weeks or so were pretty difficult, as my baby was a comfort nurser who, though she took a pacifier, took her sweet time eating and liked to eat frequently.  By 8 weeks however she had gained enough efficiency that a feeding was only taking 20 minutes and she was going between 6 and 8 hours since her last feeding for once stretch at night.  Her efficiency has continued to improve since then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many problems with breastfeeding improve with time.  It's not a fun answer, but it is a true one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2012-05-21T22:02:18.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-22T13:13:01.123" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is a slightly different answer: &quot;If you don't teach your children how to drink responsibly and how to effectively deal with alcohol, who will?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming a mostly US audience (it's quite different in other countries that I lived in): Alcohol is illegal for anyone under 21. Providing alcohol to teenagers or enabling teenage drinking may get you into serious legal trouble. As a result many parents instantiate either for legal or for moral reasons a strict &quot;no alcohol&quot; policy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is: it doesn't work. 99% of all high school kids know how to get access to alcohol and drugs. In college, alcohol is easily available (regardless of what policy the university claims to have and enforce). As a result many teenagers and young adults drink in very unsafe situations. If someone gets seriously ill or injured, the other kids are very reluctant to get help, since they are (rightfully) afraid to get into trouble. If someone is behaving badly, is taken advantage of, or simply can't make any decisions anymore, there is no one there to mitigate and manage the situation. Sorry for being graphic: a girl in my daughter's dorm who had little alcohol experience before college would get hammered every night and when being drunk have sex with any random guy. Lots of them. Next day she felt bad about it, so she started drinking and do it all over again. This is NOT a particular rare or atypical case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't think it will not happen at the &quot;nice&quot; schools. It does. One of my sons goes to a school that's on everyone's &quot;top ten colleges of the world&quot; list. At least they acknowledge the fact that it's happening: You can have a party on hall but you MUST have a dedicated party monitor who stays sober and free condoms are provided. In one case my son was the party monitor and probably saved a life since a girl had a severe case of alcohol poisoning he called in EMT services.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now a good party and responsible alcohol use can be great fun and it's an integral part of college life and our social culture in general. The challenge for parents is how to best prepare the kids for it. The &quot;no alcohol before 21&quot; approach seems silly. You don't teach kids how to swim by waiting until they are &quot;old enough&quot; and then throw them in the deep end. Your personal approach may vary but we made sure that all our kids had their first alcohol experiences in a safe environment and that they had a chance to safely figure out how they personally react to it, how much is &quot;too much&quot;, and what happens if you have &quot;way too much&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much more important than locking the cabinet (or not) is to talk openly and honestly with your children about what alcohol is, what it does and what it doesn't do, and figure out a safe plan for them to learn how to behave responsibly, allowing for the occasional misstep along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2486" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T13:13:01.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5123" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5124" CreationDate="2012-05-22T13:33:48.677" Score="3" ViewCount="118" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do mean &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; statistics -- some controlled experiments, sieving through surveys, anything. I'm constantly being told old wives' tales by friends and old doctors' tales by doctors. I'm not asking for well-done science here, just if anybody has investigated anything at all -- any data.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2597" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T14:30:03.773" Title="Can the statement &quot;Pacifier use causes increased risk of some kind of dental problem.&quot; be backed up by any statistics?" Tags="|health|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5123" CreationDate="2012-05-22T14:30:03.773" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ajodo.org/article/S0889-5406%2802%2973057-6/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;study done in 2001&lt;/a&gt; ended with the conclusion:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The study found that prolonged pacifier habits resulted in changes to&#xA;  the dental arches and the occlusal parameters that were different from&#xA;  the effects of digit sucking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not to say that the changes to the dental arches were positive or negative, but that there most certainly was an impact. Note that &quot;digit sucking&quot; means thumb sucking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://informahealthcare.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00016359850142853&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Another study&lt;/a&gt; had similar results:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;On the grounds of this study we conclude that prolonged&#xA;  pacifier-sucking (≥2 years) and use of a nursing bottle at night are&#xA;  risk factors for dental caries in children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Length of &lt;a href=&quot;http://jada.info/content/132/12/1685.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;how long pacifier is used&lt;/a&gt; matters: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;While continuous nonnutritive sucking habits of 48 months or longer&#xA;  produced the greatest changes in dental arch and occlusal&#xA;  characteristics, children with shorter sucking durations also had&#xA;  detectable differences from those with minimal habit durations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There seem to be no shortage of studies done in this matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read More: &lt;a href=&quot;http://informahealthcare.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00016359850142853&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://informahealthcare.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00016359850142853&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T14:30:03.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5126" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-22T16:40:56.137" Score="1" ViewCount="132" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do mean &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; statistics -- some controlled experiments, sieving through surveys, anything. I'm constantly being told old wives' tales by friends and old doctors' tales by doctors. I'm not asking for well-done science here, just if anybody has investigated anything at all -- any data.  Not a duplicate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2597" LastEditorUserId="2597" LastEditDate="2012-07-11T15:28:42.353" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T15:28:42.353" Title="Can “The risk of a baby not taking to breast after bottlefeeding may be decreased by using a finger and catheter.” be backed up by data?" Tags="|health|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5112" CreationDate="2012-05-22T18:08:44.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;On long car trips we have used a laptop, with stacked headphone splitters so that each child can have their own sound. Now I just have two children share my laptop and one uses my iPad, while the fourth child and my wife often share a second iPad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T18:08:44.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5128" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-22T20:42:36.870" Score="1" ViewCount="206" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do mean &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; statistics -- some controlled experiments, sieving through surveys, anything. I'm constantly being told old wives' tales by friends and old doctors' tales by doctors. I'm not asking for well-done science here, just if anybody has investigated anything at all -- any data.   This sentence has been added so that this question isn't considered a duplicate of the other three with similar wording.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2597" LastActivityDate="2022-10-07T13:53:41.233" Title="Can the statement “Having an unusually long lingual frenulum can cause speech defects later in life.” be backed up by any statistics?" Tags="|health|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2022-10-07T14:23:09.877" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5130" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-22T21:38:56.340" Score="19" ViewCount="268679" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7-week-old girl loves taking baths but, of course, we get conflicting information about how often and how careful we should be of water in her ears. The pediatrician said every other day and didn't say anything about being careful about getting water in her ears (though, maybe it's obvious since, you know, you gotta keep her head above water). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, is it really that big a deal if water gets in her ears? She turns her head and, unless I try really hard, water makes its way in there, especially when washing her hair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will this cause ear infections?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="63" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-17T14:22:17.533" LastActivityDate="2019-05-17T14:22:17.533" Title="Is it really that bad to get water in a baby's ear?" Tags="|newborn|health|bathing|water|ear|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5131" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5144" CreationDate="2012-05-22T21:41:44.830" Score="-1" ViewCount="110" Body="&lt;p&gt;where X and Y can be any of &quot;Baby Bjorn&quot;, &quot;Ring sling&quot;, &quot;Moby Wrap&quot;, or some carrier I haven't heard of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do mean &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; statistics -- some controlled experiments, sieving through surveys, anything. I'm constantly being told old wives' tales by friends and old doctors' tales by doctors. I'm not asking for well-done science here, just if anybody has investigated anything at all -- any data.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2597" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T16:10:03.093" Title="Can the statement “There is some negative effect of X type carrier that is mollified by Y type carrier” be backed up by any statistics?" Tags="|health|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5114" CreationDate="2012-05-22T23:33:45.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my kids were born early...my son was 4 weeks early and my daughter was 5 weeks early.  I have noticed a HUGE difference in my daughter's development compared to my son's, as well as her development compared to her cousin who is 21 days older than her.  She is not as developed verbally as her cousin or as her brother was at her age.  I have had to push my daughter to complete some of her developmental milestones (sitting up was a huge ordeal).  There are a few things that I keep in mind when it comes to her development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though research says that most preemies catch up by the time they're two, keep in mind he's still six weeks behind.  Check the 10-month and 11-month milestones and see where he is.  He probably understands more than you think, but sometimes we don't always recognize their acknowledgment of what we say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely mention it at your next check up and have his hearing checked.  Like Morah said, the peds we saw in both Tennessee and Georgia have had referrals to county early-intervention programs who will come to your home and evaluate your child.  One of my nephews received care through the Wisconsin program which leads me to believe that it's a national program (ours in Georgia is called Babies Can't Wait).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T23:33:45.143" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5108" CreationDate="2012-05-22T23:40:17.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have physically held my son's and daughter's hands when they started doing this and said quietly &quot;Chew and swallow&quot;.  Or if that didn't work, I've given them only the food on their plate that I feel comfortable with them putting in their mouth.  Choking is a huge fear for me and I don't mess around with it.  My son is 4 and has had this impulse under control for over a year, but my daughter is almost two and will do this same thing sometimes.  I think it's just a developmental thing that I've seen mentioned many many times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T23:40:17.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5103" CreationDate="2012-05-22T23:48:51.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's hair is literally two different colors: red and blond.  My hair is also literally two different colors:  very blond and black.  Variation in hair color is perfectly normal.  I had a friend in elementary school who had some grey hair (nothing huge...just a small patch).  If you only see one or a few, I wouldn't worry too much about it, but if you notice lots of it or other alarming symptoms, then I would certainly have him evaluated by a pediatrician.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-05-22T23:48:51.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5130" CreationDate="2012-05-23T00:31:21.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't imagine that this is a problem, I used to get water in my ears all of the time when I was younger, particularly during bathing. In fact, I used to completely submerge my head (apart from my nose) in the bath water to rinse the shampoo from my head when my hair was washed (due to an aversion to having water poured on my head). I have never had an ear infection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1552" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T00:31:21.087" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5130" CreationDate="2012-05-23T07:46:47.910" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;We not only used to bathe the kids in such a way that their ears were definitely under water when rinsing their hair, but took them swimming from a couple of months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the water is from a source which could contain infection - eg the sea, or a public swimming pool - you just give the ears a good rinse when they get out and then dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When children are older they can learn how to tip their heads to help water escape, but for now you can easily wick up any water in their using the end of a tissue - nothing dangerous, just get the corner folded up enough that you can reach into the ear and the water will wick straight into the tissue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T07:46:47.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-23T08:54:08.637" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My father was an alcoholic, and I never had an interest in the whiskey, gin or beer present in our home. After all, why would I want to be like my father when I had to live with how he treated me after drinking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in the EU now, so drinking laws are more lax over here; I do have liquor in a cabinet, which I use for baking cheesecakes or desserts, or on rare occasions something alcoholic for myself when we have guests over for a party.  It's not locked, and I have both a (soon to be) 21 year old daughter 4 year old son.  He's never seen us open a bottle from in there, nor remove a bottle from the cabinet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have also taught him that everything in that cabinet is not a toy (I have some glasses, china, pictures and bric a brac in there as well), and that he is not allowed to play with anything in the cabinet.  We've never had an issue with him getting into it, nor my daughter when she was younger (teenager). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, I believe in raising kids you can trust - and that comes by being up front and honest about everything - risks and rewards. She's in college in the US now, and understands the risks she takes if/when she drinks alcohol - even in her own apartment off-campus. Would I be happier if she waited until she's 21? Yes - but only because of legal repercussions which could occur if she's caught drinking while underage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="583" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T08:54:08.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5138" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5139" CreationDate="2012-05-23T09:05:24.487" Score="10" ViewCount="3263" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are going a field trip and we are taking our 5-year-old child with us. I want to make a contact card for him, which sticks on his back, in case (God forbid) he gets lost so anyone can contact us. Now the problem is that I couldn't find any template or idea to create one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can some one suggest any idea or direct me a link so I can make/get some cards or idea for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2633" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-17T13:00:17.950" LastActivityDate="2019-04-17T13:00:17.950" Title="How to make a contact card for a child in case they get lost?" Tags="|primary-schooler|safety|travel|outdoor|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5138" CreationDate="2012-05-23T10:55:12.503" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The card:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would make a few business-card-sized cards. Put one in a jacket pocket, one in a pants pocket, and one in his backpack. Hide one in his shoe if you're really worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more visibility, you could also give your son a &lt;a href=&quot;http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_g38QY66TQ58/S_QOYBvg0PI/AAAAAAAAAHA/d0eKS1u53Yo/s1600/lanyard_clip_on_lanyard.jpg&quot;&gt;lanyard with an ID card pocket&lt;/a&gt; and stick a card in that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would laminate the cards to make them durable against water and folding/tearing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The text:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would write a short notice on the card, in the country's local language plus English, something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Hello, my name is Matthew and I'm lost. Please contact my parents Eric and Melissa on their cell phones +1-123-555-1234 or notify the police or security staff.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not add too many details, but provide enough to make it quick to get in touch with the parents or other guardians. You could also make special-purpose cards if you're often going to a particular mall or playground, or to mention other guardians than the parents (e.g. when on a trip with grandma).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Layout:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not do much in terms of pretty layout (as in a business card). Just make the text as large as possible, to be easy to read even for youngsters and people who use reading glasses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Photo:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see a reason to add a photo of the child, but you could do that if you want. It might be a good idea to put a photo of the parents on the reverse side, so that the finder knows who to look for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-23T11:52:16.447" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T11:52:16.447" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5140" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-23T12:43:17.707" Score="1" ViewCount="947" Body="&lt;p&gt;Arabic is my native language and I am fluent in English, my wife is an English/Urdu bilingual but English is more native to her plus she can read Arabic letters without understanding it but she can’t read Urdu.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is one year old now and we been using OPOL (&lt;em&gt;One Person, One Language&lt;/em&gt;): So far my wife speaks only English and I only speak Arabic to him and we speak English among ourselves. Plus, we live in Arabic country so Arabic is the very dominating language for our son I guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's idea is for our son to have a strong well established English and when he goes to nursery (it will be English/Arabic one) she will start speaking to him in Urdu mostly, but still English will be used when me and her speak to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically Arabic and English are our first priority languages and we will be more than happy if our son can learn to speak Urdu.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anyone can advise us if we going on the right path we will be grateful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2634" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-05-24T09:20:41.110" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T01:44:00.513" Title="Advice on raising trilingual kids" Tags="|infant|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5140" CreationDate="2012-05-23T13:18:55.523" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use it or loose it. The key for kids to learn, and more importantly develop and retain, a language is immersion: a chance to interact with native speakers of that language on a daily basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have three kids who are bi-lingual, tri-lingual and quadri-lingual respectively. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are Germans living in the US and my wife went to high school in Italy, where a are large part of our family still lives. We speak mostly German at home but my wife sometimes speaks Italian to kid #2. The kids typically speak English amongst themselves and outside the house. Two of the kids attended a Spanish/English immersion program for 6 years in school where the class consist of 50% native English speakers and 50% native Spanish speakers. Instruction language alternates from year to year, i.e. one year they have Math in English, the next year they have Math in Spanish etc. Kid #2 spend a fair amount of time abroad in Germany and Italy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They key to maintaining these languages is to create natural opportunities for the kids to speak them. Using a different language per parent is a good start. Unless there is a problem in school, there is no need to focus a lot on the local language since kids are highly motivated to interact with friends and their environment anyway. Over time you will see a tendency for the kid to ONLY speak the local language (because it's the cool thing to do), so it's helpful to create situations where they have no choice but use a different one. Visits with/from grandparents can be really useful that way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 3 year old will not have a lot of trouble picking up a third language. Vocabulary is still small and there is always a lot of direct context to help. He'll learn &quot;Cookie&quot; in any language real fast :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2486" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T13:18:55.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5140" CreationDate="2012-05-23T13:45:02.750" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, congratulations! It's every parent's dream to raise a kid to speak multiple languages when both parents speak different languages.&#xA;I decided early that there was no other way for me but to have my child learn least 3 languages. That's because I know 4 languages myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well answer to your question is  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;&lt;code&gt;Whoever is to be the main caregiver of the child ought to take the primary role as the facilitator.&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get some tips from this website &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childhoodspeech.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Childhood Speech&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2633" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T13:45:02.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5131" CreationDate="2012-05-23T16:10:03.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This search in PubMed will get you articles from the primary clinical literature on infant equipment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=%22Infant%20Equipment%22%5BMAJR%5D&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=%22Infant%20Equipment%22%5BMAJR%5D&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21929486&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21929486&lt;/a&gt; - Just a letter to the editor, a simple case report. Not, in my view, evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consumer Reports says that sling-type carriers have been more frequently recalled and there seems to be anecdotal evidence (which isn't actually evidence) that doctors don't like the slings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics thinks the front-carriers are best for babies up to 6 months and that the &quot;backpacks&quot; are for babies more than 15 lbs...and they seem to emphasize safe USE more than a particular brand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I used this info for our own kids was to avoid the bag-sling type of carrier in favor of the front-mounted or back-mounted, then asked our pediatrician for any thoughts about what cautions to take that may not be covered by the manufacturer's instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If in doubt, I always say, ask a pediatrician you trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2635" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T16:10:03.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4888" CreationDate="2012-05-23T17:27:54.387" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001DAJA7U&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Disney's Children's Favorites Vol. 1&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;1. If you're happy and you know it&#xA;2. Shoo, Fly, Don't Bother Me&#xA;3. This Old Man (Knick-Knack Patty-Whack)&#xA;4. I've Been Working On The Railroad&#xA;5. Three Blind Mice&#xA;6. Oh, Susanna!&#xA;7. The Man On The Flying Trapeze&#xA;8. The Blue-Tail Fly (Jimmy Crack Corn)&#xA;9. The Mail Must Go Through&#xA;10. Home On The Range&#xA;11. It Ain't Gonna Rain No More&#xA;12. A Bicycle Built For Two&#xA;13. Mary Had A Little Lamb&#xA;14. Take Me Out to the Ball Game&#xA;15. Friends Lullaby&#xA;16. Old MacDonald&#xA;17. The Hokey Pokey&#xA;18. She'll Be Comin' Round The Mountain&#xA;19. Ten Little Indians&#xA;20. The Green Grass Grew All Around&#xA;21. In The Good, Old Summertime&#xA;22. Animal Fair&#xA;23. Row, Row, Row Your Boat&#xA;24. I'm A Policeman&#xA;25. Pop! Goes The Weasel&#xA;26. Dixie&#xA;27. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star&#xA;28. A Hunting We Will Go&#xA;29. Down In The Valley&#xA;30. Good Night, Ladies&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001DAL4U6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Disney's Children's Favorites Vol. 2&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;1. The Wheels on the Bus&#xA;2. Froggie Went A-Courtin'&#xA;3. The Farmer In The Dell&#xA;4. Yankee Doodle&#xA;5. On Top Of Old Smoky&#xA;6. Sailing Medley&#xA;7. Camptown Races&#xA;8. Old Blue&#xA;9. Here We Go Loopty-Loo&#xA;10. The Sidewalks Of New York&#xA;11. Short'nin' Bread&#xA;12. John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmid&#xA;13. Thumbelina&#xA;14. The Bear Went Over The Mountain&#xA;15. Red River Valley&#xA;16. Skip To My Lou&#xA;17. Swanee River&#xA;18. Western Medley&#xA;19. London Bridge&#xA;20. Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush&#xA;21. Frere Jacques&#xA;22. The Dump Truck Song&#xA;23. Bingo&#xA;24. Polly Wolly Doodle&#xA;25. There Was An Old Lady&#xA;26. Carrot Stew&#xA;27. When The Saints Go Marching In&#xA;28. There's A Hole In My Bucket&#xA;29. Meet Me In St. Louis&#xA;30. Mickey Mouse March&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T17:27:54.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5130" CreationDate="2012-05-23T20:06:44.220" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason behind the &quot;keep water out of the ear&quot; thing stems from the fact that an infant's ear canal is angled differently than an adult's (or even an older child's). In an infant, it's commonly believed the angle is such that it is more prone to collecting water, which can then sit, stagnate, and eventually lead to ear infections. As @anongoodnurse details, this isn't quite correct (though arguably is the source of the belief), as this cause of most childhood ear infections requires the fluid to be on the &lt;em&gt;inside&lt;/em&gt; part of the ear, not outer, where bath water collects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children are so prone to ear infections that they have to have tubes put in (generally, more than 4 ear infections in 6 months warrants a trip to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist) to help the fluid drain out of the &lt;em&gt;middle section&lt;/em&gt; of the ear. If you've ever had an ear infection, you probably know why recurring ear infections are bad in young children, aside from the fact that they just plain suck - it makes it difficult to hear, and for young children, it can slow language development, which can cause long-term issues. This is the other half of that concern -- ear infections can cause language delay, stagnant fluid build-up in the ear can lead to infection, so getting water in the ear must be the cause of ear infections and must be avoided. The flaw in this logic, though, is that the fluid that causes ear infections isn't the water that gets in the ears via ears (but rather, the water that gets in from the sinuses).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yes, it's a good idea to avoid getting water in an infant's ears. &lt;strong&gt;However&lt;/strong&gt;, life happens, it's really not as bad as a lot of people make it out to be, and there are a number of ways to help drain or dry the water if it is causing an issue. Rory's answer has some good tips on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastEditorUserId="1155" LastEditDate="2015-07-29T13:27:55.500" LastActivityDate="2015-07-29T13:27:55.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5114" CreationDate="2012-05-23T20:20:52.347" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Meg's answer hits it on the head regarding the fact that your son was a preemie. You really have to go by their due date for the first couple of years' milestones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, it sounds like your son &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; understand what you're saying, as he responds to very simple commands (&quot;look&quot;) and his name, not to mention that he's figured out how to consciously elicit a response from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How active is your son, and how are his motor skills? Children develop different skills at different speeds, so very often, they will excel at one thing (such as motor skills) and be &quot;behind&quot; on another. For example, my son is two and still doesn't talk verbally that much (generally just one or two words, doesn't say his own name, no pronouns, etc), but his motor skills are such that he not only signs, but can do things like climb ladders and stairs with ease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to help increase communication between you and your son is through baby sign language. Children develop understanding long before their verbal skills, so signing can help them communicate (and can help ward off tantrums before they start). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, does your son go to day care or some other type of regular play groups with kids his age (or even a month or two older)? If not, it might be worth trying. Not only will it help him socialize, but may motivate him to work on his &quot;weak&quot; skills (one of the biggest things that got my son starting to verbally talk has been moving to the next room in daycare, where the kids are a little older and most of them talk better than he does, so he's started picking it up, too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-05-23T20:20:52.347" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-24T06:45:38.593" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know what? I remember lots of kids who had no trouble getting into their parent's locked cabinets, either having found the key or picked the lock. And all kinds of tricks involving replacing the volume of vodka removed with water, etc. just leave the liquor in the cupboard and be more serious about educating your kids on the dangers of underage drinking, and create kids you can trust. Because in the end you have to trust them anyway, and really if they end up wanting to drink they will find a way. Plus, locking it up just says &quot;I don't trust you&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's my advice (=&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T06:45:38.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5103" CreationDate="2012-05-24T06:53:48.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My great uncle had a stripe of white hair, offcenter on his skull. it was about where men would normally part their hair. Trick is that me and my family are black. so here's a guy in the 1930s with a 'fro and a 1 inch wide skunk stripe down the corner of his head. had it till the day he went all grey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, I think it's just a white hair. Feed your child, change his butt, make him laff, forget about the white hair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the web has made hyper-hypochondriac's out of all of us. There's an abundance of information and opinion on just about any subject you can think of. the positive opinions are matter of fact and the negative ones are ridiculously passionate. So sometimes I think the internet was just a big mistake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T06:53:48.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-05-24T11:36:51.020" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We do not have a locked drinks cabinet, but just as an info point - I taught my son how to pick locks when he was 5. It took me about half an hour to give him enough of the basics that he could get into or out of any locked area in the house. A teenager can teach themself from online tutorials such as the very handy one from MIT. *&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All three of my kids get a taste of wine or beer occasionally if I'm having some with dinner - they don't like them - and every now and then I'll see if they want a sip of whisky. They get a sniff and decide it is pretty disgusting, persuading themselves they aren't interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conclusion:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Locks - ineffective&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Awareness - pretty effective so far&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(*I see the ability to pick locks as a very useful safety feature, which has helped one of my kids escape from being stuck in an accidentally locked room once.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T11:36:51.020" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1739" CreationDate="2012-05-24T11:44:50.510" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think 9 is leaving it late.  Our daughter is 6 she knows what an apple is and what half an apple is and what a quarter is through a few games she extrapolated that if a quarter of 4 is 1 then a quater of 8 must be 2 and she then answered that a quarter of 6 = 1 and two quarters. Then she wanted to wrestle with her brother so we stopped, but kids get it early if it's relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids school has a high proportion of special needs children so the kids at the other end don't get priority so it seems to me that parent intervention is important to keep those kids doing it easy challenged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2638" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T11:44:50.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5103" CreationDate="2012-05-24T13:32:49.517" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While the phrasing could be better, @monsto is right. Hair color changes naturally for a large number of reasons. It's not uncommon for infants' and young children's hair color to completely change naturally, nor are patches of off-color hair unheard of (my husband also has a patch of lighter hair on his head).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is that? Because there are a ton of factors that control hair color, including (but by no means limited to): genes, levels of melanin (the pigment that determines color and darkness of our skin, hair, and eyes) produced, chemical exposure (swimming a lot in a pool can lighten the hair due to the chlorine, for example), and sun exposure. Not only do/can these factors affect the overall color of your hair, but also the &lt;em&gt;individual hairs&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've probably actually seen people who have multiple colors of hair, naturally, but the color differences are more subtle that you don't realize it. Many people with the lighter shades of brown may also have blonde or red &quot;highlights&quot;. This is the same effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it still bothers you, and/or more appear, though, it doesn't hurt to bring it up to your child's doctor at his next checkup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T13:32:49.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5154" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-24T14:03:31.027" Score="9" ViewCount="8589" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been married ten years.  We have a son who is about to turn four next month, and another one on the way (due five months from now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For all the time we've been married, I've had virtually no friends outside of work - I'm just not a very social person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in the last year or so, I've made a (male) friend that I enjoy spending time with.  I typically join him for some kind of outdoor activity once or twice a month for a few hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue exploded recently when I planned an all-day outing with my friend.  We'll leave early one morning, and get back late that night.  My wife is so upset about it that it's starting to overflow into how she talks to our son about me (Daddy's not going to be here tomorrow, he'd rather spend time somewhere else...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a major source of conflict between my wife and I.  I want to be fair to her, and to our son.  They are my priority.  The amount of time I am spending alone, away from them, seems reasonable to me.  But I don't trust myself - obviously I am biased.  Can anyone share guidelines that you use to decide how much time with family is &quot;enough&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this seems a bit off-topic, and maybe it is.  I have several concerns, but my main one is how this may affect our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2639" LastActivityDate="2017-05-25T23:49:52.720" Title="How much time with friends (away from family) is reasonable?" Tags="|conflict|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5154" CreationDate="2012-05-24T14:27:44.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a tough situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To address the parenting portion of your question, I see absolutely no problem with spending a day, or even possibly more, away from your family without negatively impacting your son, &lt;em&gt;provided&lt;/em&gt; that it is not a regular occurrence.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people are required to travel on occasion, whether for work or family emergencies.  Its a fact of life, and I don't see it having any long-term effect on children if it is purely a &quot;once-in-a-while&quot; thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, a parent who travels regularly away from the family would have to work extra hard to maintain a strong relationship, and counter the absence.  I don't think it is impossible to accomplish frequent travel without impairing the relationship, but I do believe it will require extra work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your particular situation, the issue is much more about how your wife feels.  Clearly she has a problem with you leaving.  You need to find out why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps she feels it isn't fair that you &quot;get away&quot; but she doesn't, in which case maybe a good compromise would be to plan with her her own &quot;get away&quot; day.  Perhaps she feels that coping by herself is too much, and the thought of not having your direct support makes her uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that she is 4 months pregnant, my money is on the second one.  If that is the case, perhaps you can talk to her about whether having other family members (her parents, yours, siblings, etc.... whoever you have that she will feel comfortable with) might help.  If not, I would seriously consider asking your friend if you could either reschedule (although this will be even more problematic once you have an infant back in the house), or find another activity you can do with your friend that won't take up the entire day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T14:27:44.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5154" CreationDate="2012-05-24T14:39:20.993" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Encourage your wife to do the same.  My husband and I do plan friend activities as well as we have meetings for volunteer work.  We keep the same calendar (Google) so we can see each others activities, we know what is coming, and we don't conflict.  Try to have couple friends that you both like, or at least can tolerate.  Remember, to be a good parent you have to be happy first, with your wife/husband and with your life.  She may feel guilty about going out and therefore chooses not to which is what is causing her resentment towards you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sit down and discuss it when you are both calm (or see a therapist briefly to help keep you calm).  This does not have to be a long term thing, one or two sessions may be enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to talk, have equal footing in terms of going out, and be sure to make it special for yourself as it won't happen that often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Send her to get her nails done, get a bit of pampering as a treat for her, showing her that you care about her going out as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T14:39:20.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5154" CreationDate="2012-05-24T15:24:04.557" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with both Beofett and Morah, but I will add this:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your wife a Stay-At-Home Mother?  I currently am (not necessarily by choice) and when my husband travels for work it drives me up the walls.  Typically, he's gone for an entire week--not just a few hours during the day.  Things are better now that our kids are in daycare a few days a week, but before there was a huge amount of resentment on my part.  Not only did he get to go to work all day and interact with other adults (trust me, he doesn't see it this way, but I did), but sometimes he got to leave the state for a whole week and do things like sleep through the night for an entire week!  In the four years since we had our first child, I have spent 1 night away from my family alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your situation is a little different, but if she's all ready at home with your son everyday, then she might feel like she never gets a break from him, but you do because you get to leave the house everyday all ready and now you've gone and planned to spend another day away from her and your son.  I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing as clearly going to work does not equal fun, and all parents need a break sometimes, but she clearly thinks something is wrong.  Did you discuss this with her before you scheduled it?  I'm not saying you need her permission, but if she had something else in mind for that weekend, you've just trampled on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, I think it's pretty clear that your wife needs some time, too.  Or perhaps the two of you need some husband/wife time together (as opposed to mommy/daddy time) sans children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-05-24T15:54:36.953" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T15:54:36.953" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5158" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5180" CreationDate="2012-05-24T16:50:26.133" Score="9" ViewCount="1311" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7 month old baby boy. Until he was 4 months old he had no problems getting to sleep. Then, he started to cry and protest until he fell asleep.  He even protested when he was in our arms we were rocking him.  Since he still slept for 9 or 10 hours straight, we didn't worry about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The current problem is that one week ago he started to have a lot of awakenings during the night (probably the eight-month crisis), and not only he does not sooth himself into sleep again, but he protests and cries even when he is is in our arms and is being rocked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have read a lot about &quot;cry it out&quot; and &quot;no tears&quot; methods...the thing is that in our case, even using a &quot;no tears&quot; method there are always a lot of tears.&#xA;We would really appreciate any suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1517" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-01T17:00:09.817" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T17:00:09.817" Title="Self-soothing and sleep training" Tags="|infant|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5158" CreationDate="2012-05-24T17:17:07.727" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is crying anyway cry it out seems to be the way to go.  When he awakens, check his diaper, if he is cold, etc but don't look at him, don't come right out and snuggle or rock him and don't make eye contact and don't say anything.  You have checked and he is okay so let him go back to sleep on his own.&#xA;The other thing I would check is sleep tremors.  He is a bit early but this is when they cry uncontrollable in their sleep but they are not awake.  Two ways to deal with this.  Wake them up and comfort them or don't wake them.  My pediatrician said if you wake them the more nights this will take to dissipate. (we are talking 2 to 3 weeks normally, 5-6 weeks if you wake them) so we went for not waking them.  One of ours did start sleep walking during these episodes, so, on Dr. advice, we put a baby gate in the door way of their room so they would be safe to walk around and be able to find their bed again, which they did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way is hard. Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T17:17:07.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2385" CreationDate="2012-05-24T19:13:25.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried feeding your little one at 7/8 at night then letting him sleep those 12 hours to set a more natural routine for later on?  That way he can enjoy his mornings with you and eventually enjoying mornings at play group or school.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever works for you and your family is the right thing as all babies are different! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My little one has just recently set his own night time schedule. He has a bottle at 6pm then again at 12:30/1am, and he then wakes again at 5/6am. I try to hold off allowing him to eat until 7am, with the aim of eventually having him eat at 6/7 in the evening, and 7 in the morning, with 4 hour intervals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, after his last feed around 3 he can't hold out longer than another 3 hours before eating again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is always asleep by 8. He fights and cries as he's very much over-tired, but I try stay consistent with his routine and hopefully it becomes fixed. He is only 9 weeks and is doing well! Good luck let us know how it goes! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2640" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-05-24T19:54:53.220" LastActivityDate="2012-05-24T19:54:53.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5158" CreationDate="2012-05-25T02:48:12.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first kid was tough this way, to get him to sleep I did the following: Car rides, Carrying him in the sling while vacuuming, putting him in his car seat on top of the washer machine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All three worked with varying degrees of success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-05-25T02:48:12.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5162" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-25T04:28:09.137" Score="6" ViewCount="1135" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 3+ year old. He is smart and energetic kid but he is very shy towards new people and also he will keep quite if some one tries to dominate him. Going further, I want my son to be bold, talk well and resist others dominance and have more leadership skills. I am worried because I am also shy and more accomodative type. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think leadership skills are more of genetic (by nature) but they can be well Nurtured as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I would like to know what methods do you suggest in order for him to grow as a bold person and a good leader. One I am right now doing is a Role play with him to teach him how to react in some situations. Any other  suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="620" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:53:41.820" LastActivityDate="2017-05-02T20:59:42.230" Title="How do you instill Leadership skills in your kids?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5162" CreationDate="2012-05-25T08:20:56.637" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;The usual guidance given sounds odd: in early years leadership is learned by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that seems counterintuitive, but really what a child needs is a role model (or more than one) that inspires them. Now the first role models are a child's parents, so you are key to early development. So demonstrating leadership qualities yourself is an excellent way to start a child's development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you aren't a natural leader type, another option open to you is to identify a school which has a strong record in encouraging leadership and associated skills. These schools will not only provide role models, but will encourage the right behaviours in small groups and in public.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you should be aware of is that there are many different leadership types, and some are shy or self effacing - a leader needn't be dominant. Some quiet leaders are followed and respected because they inspire trust, or they are known to be fair, or do the right thing - and conversely, some outgoing and dominating individuals can be very poor leaders - so don't try and teach behaviours until you fully understand which may be positive and which negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-05-25T08:20:56.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5165" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5206" CreationDate="2012-05-25T13:34:39.913" Score="35" ViewCount="5869" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is closely related to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/974/how-do-you-handle-poor-behavior-by-other-peoples-children&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;.  However, that primarily deals with interactions at relatively controlled, private functions.  This question is more focused on the feeding-frenzy style chaos we've encountered in more public venues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've recently taken my son (20 months old) to a few public attractions geared towards young children/toddlers.  The idea behind these attractions is to provide an environment friendly to children, with a wide variety of interactive displays, toys, and activities ranging from floating rubber duckies and plastic boats on an interactive waterway, to simulated &quot;grocery stores&quot; complete with child-friendly products to put in child-sized shopping carts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trips were massive hits with my son.  Being able to run around and explore at his own pace, coupled with the sheer variety of Really Cool Things to play with, made these destinations instant favorites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, what we found is that many parents there apparently either turned their kids loose and let them run around essentially unsupervised, or followed them around but just didn't care to (or weren't capable of) restraining their child when they misbehaved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was probably one of the youngest there (most seemed to be in the 4-5 year old range), so was at a significant disadvantage to the larger kids.  We were constantly by his side the entire time, but some of the behavior we witnessed included:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children pushing my son aside to play with whatever he was playing with at the time (one mother asked her son to let my son play; when her son ignored her, she continued to ask him in increasingly politer tones to share, until he shouted &quot;no!&quot;, at which point she gave up).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children cutting in line to get at activities where each child was supposed to take turns (e.g. an air-compressor powered &quot;rocket launcher&quot; that fired foam projectiles across the room, with a sign saying &quot;only two rockets per turn please&quot;; two boys with armfuls of rockets pushed past my son and two other children to monopolize the launcher, and their parents were nowhere in sight).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One child of about 5 actually took a swing at my son when he came over to play in the same large play structure; the boy's mother was standing right there and did nothing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you handle these situations?  I found myself being less assertive with some of the other children than I would have liked to have been, largely because the site of someone pushing, bullying, or swinging at (there was no actual contact) my son provokes an instant rage-response, which is not the best position to be in when dealing with strange children.  Dealing with the parents was only possible some of the time, since many times no other related adults were in sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Staff presence was sparse, at best, and rarely in sight of where the actual activities were taking place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the haste which with people in the US call lawyers, I'm doubly reluctant to physically remove another child from a toy or activity that my son should have priority on, but if they're actively endangering my son....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also don't want to teach my son that the appropriate response is to roll over and let other kids push him around.  I want him to understand when he is in the right, and others are in the wrong, and assert himself in those situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2019-10-23T14:47:26.367" Title="How do you handle unsupervised, poorly behaved children in public play areas?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|play|socialization|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5165" CreationDate="2012-05-25T15:09:20.003" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you don't feel comfortable interfering here, either because you think you're going to rage out or because you don't see any possible positive outcome, then avoid the place altogether.  Instead, I would find similar places that have more supervision, or if wherever you live has limited children's activities, go with a bunch of friends who have kids about your kid's age (or better, a kid who is 5 and would totally dig being your son's protector).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like these parents are at the ends of their ropes dealing with preschoolers.  If their parents want to avoid them, I'd take the hint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-05-25T15:09:20.003" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5165" CreationDate="2012-05-25T16:51:15.460" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is very hard to deal with undisciplined children, especially when they have parents who do not discipline them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few suggestions:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Speak to the parent privately and give suggestions.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Demonstrate good parenting at all times.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Teach your child to remove themselves from the situation.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Teach your child, and this is a big one in our family, that different children have different rules so we have to abide by ours (in other words he can't repeat the bad behavior he sees) and if someone has different rules we don't like we move away.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Get the teacher involved, explain to her what you are doing at home/playdates and have her use the same words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has worked magic with my 3year old son who is a gentle soul and well behaved.  He has learned, even at school, when children are not treating him properly or misbehaving he tells his teacher, 'I need to move stations, this one isn't working'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-06-19T18:20:37.940" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T18:20:37.940" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4175" CreationDate="2012-05-25T19:20:51.233" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife's brother and cousin both developed autism immediately after getting their MMR vaccine. They had a severe reaction that included fever and seizures and they were autistic afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is believed that some people's bodies aren't able to deal with the mercury in the vaccines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We will not be giving our children any vaccines. Vaccines were not responsible for the decline in diseases anyway and do more harm than good: &lt;a href=&quot;http://childhealthsafety.wordpress.com/graphs/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://childhealthsafety.wordpress.com/graphs/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1402" LastActivityDate="2012-05-25T19:20:51.233" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2012-05-25T19:24:33.660" Score="-13" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife's brother and cousin both developed autism immediately after getting their MMR vaccine. They had a severe reaction that included fever and seizures and they were autistic afterwards. The medical community can state all day long that the vaccines did not cause this and we do not believe them. Watch the movie The Greater Good for more information about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is believed that some people's bodies aren't able to deal with the mercury in the vaccines. We will not be giving our children any vaccines. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vaccines were not responsible for the decline in diseases anyway: &lt;a href=&quot;http://childhealthsafety.wordpress.com/graphs/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://childhealthsafety.wordpress.com/graphs/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should have left out the 'propaganda' stuff and just given a personal testimony. Oh well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ana, yes. Her brother was 18 months when this happened. He was talking. He got his MMR shot. That night he got the fever and seizures. That lasted two days. After this he stopped talking and eating and he wouldn't look at people any more. They stopped giving him vaccines. Her brother was fortunate and got much better. Today 11 years later you would just think he's odd. Her cousin was not fortunate. Today he is a 20-year old severely autistic young man. He still does not speak or look at you and his parents take care of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1402" LastEditorUserId="1402" LastEditDate="2012-05-26T12:25:17.627" LastActivityDate="2012-05-26T12:25:17.627" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5170" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5176" CreationDate="2012-05-25T19:51:45.437" Score="23" ViewCount="5959" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know that beating and spanking is no good, but there are situations sometimes when I'm unable to maintain control over myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have two boys, one's five and the other's two. &#xA;Due to their age difference, we're putting them to bed at different times. &#xA;While we tuck the youngest in, the other is left by himself for a bit more than a half of an hour. He mostly watches cartoons or plays video games. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After we finally get the first one asleep, we have older one set aside his activity so he can go to bed too. We try to coax him into putting down his game and going to bed by promising we'll read him a book while he's in his bed or that we'll give him milk, tea or other snack, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite our best efforts, nothing we offer seems to be a good enough incentive when he compares it to his current entertainment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually after a several failed attempts at negotiation, when he absolutely refuses to go by himself, I do grab him and try to carry him to the kid's room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point he starts crying, falling on the floor, and screaming (This is called tantrum, I believe). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He frequently ends up screaming so loud  that it sometimes wakes up the younger one, and then you have to deal with both of them screaming (Which is really quite awful). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By then I can't help myself and end up hitting him once (before coming to my senses and realizing that it doesn't do any good anyway).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to find guides on &lt;strong&gt;how&lt;/strong&gt; beating can be avoided, but with no luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I avoid corporal punishment altogether when negotiation doesn't work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user54" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-20T12:07:29.107" LastActivityDate="2019-09-20T12:07:29.107" Title="How to avoid corporal punishment? " Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|corporal-punishment|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2012-05-25T19:59:16.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The short of it is that there is none. The study that claimed a link between MMR and autism was fraudulent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://sfari.org/news-and-opinion/in-brief/2012/clinical-research-autism-genes-linked-to-autoimmune-disease&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;current theory is that autism is the result of an autoimmune disease&lt;/a&gt;, related to rheumatoid arthritis, MS, Crohn's Disease, etc (in fact, it's known that a mother with RA or a family history of same places that woman at a greater risk for having a child with autism). The body produces antibodies that view certain brain cells as abnormal and &quot;foreign&quot;, and attacks them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The supposed link between autism and vaccinations can thus be explained by the vaccine's intended effect of causing an immune response in the child's body; the elevated white cell count and production of antibodies to &quot;fight&quot; the vaccine's disease triggers the autoimmune response. However, that doesn't mean the vaccine itself causes autism, nor that not vaccinating your at-risk kids will prevent them from developing autism. The first time your child gets sick, gets an infected scrape, or even gets allergies, the autoimmune response will kick in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means that if your child has the genetic predisposition to develop autism, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Vaccinate the child and the vaccine causes the child to develop autism; don't vaccinate the child, and the disease the vaccine would have innoculated your child against will do the same damage. Given that the genetic factors that cause autism are roughly a 1 in 110 chance in the general population, while the diseases that the vaccines prevent are a 1 in 1 shot if your child is exposed, it's madness to not vaccinate your children, especially if you don't know that you have risk factors for autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2012-05-25T20:12:57.937" LastActivityDate="2012-05-25T20:12:57.937" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5170" CreationDate="2012-05-25T20:20:53.247" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, some insight into any specific behavior or behavior set you are trying to discourage would be helpful as per Beofett's comment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, rule #1 is, &lt;strong&gt;NEVER try to discipline your children when you are enraged at them.&lt;/strong&gt; It's OK to be angry with them (you wouldn't be punishing them otherwise), but you must be able to be objective when disciplining, so that your punishments are fair and consistent, and you don't use them as a form of stress relief. If you are too mad to deal with the child's misdeed objectively, give the child to your spouse to deal with, or if the child has angered the both of you (or you're a single parent) sit them on the time-out stool as quickly and gently as you can manage and have them stay there until you have calmed down. It's a time-out for both of you in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-05-25T20:20:53.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1739" CreationDate="2012-05-25T20:37:14.257" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child's teacher has told you as a parent, in so many words, to &quot;not get involved&quot;, I would get involved - with that teacher's department head, the assistant principal, principal and/or superintendent. OF COURSE parents are supposed to get involved in their child's education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the real question, 9 years old is about 4th grade (give or take a grade depending on where the cutoff is on birthday for each grade. According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.time4learning.com/fourth-grade-math.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.time4learning.com/fourth-grade-math.shtml&lt;/a&gt;, 4th grade is pretty much on track for teaching kids fractions. 3rd grade is mostly about mastery of basic arithmetic, and starting to chain multiple operations together (i.e. what is 5x3+2).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's having problems, I would see if there's another way to explain it. Try using fruit; slice an apple into 4 (or 6 or 8) pieces, then give the child one piece. Explain that that the piece they have is one of the eight pieces that make up the whole apple, and so it's one-eighth or 1/8. Then give them another piece. They now have two pieces out of eight, or 2/8. I'm not sure if they need to know about least-terms yet, but if they do, put pairs of the pieces together and show that their two pieces, plus pairs of the other six, can form four portions of the whole, of which they have one, so their two eighths is also equal to one-fourth of the apple. A lot of times, kids don't get numbers because they don't see what the numbers represent. If you put it in terms of something real, that they can move around and see the numbers in action, it can make a world of difference in their understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-05-25T20:37:14.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5170" CreationDate="2012-05-26T08:02:43.257" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It looks like negotiation isn't working here, so why not tell the child, &quot;Because of your behaviour at bedtimes, we will be putting you to bed before your brother, until you start to behave properly.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then stick to sending him to bed early for a week - say you'll check how he is doing then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the wider context, identifying when negotiation isn't working and taking steps to forestall the argument - define what will happen, and then stick to it, makes life easier. One of the most difficult things for children is when parents aren't consistent, or the parents give in - children need to know rules, and need discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-05-26T08:02:43.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2012-05-26T12:43:36.853" Score="-7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some arguments:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The government created the vaccine injury compensation fund in 1988 to pay people injured by vaccines. Their site is here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hrsa.gov/vaccinecompensation/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.hrsa.gov/vaccinecompensation/index.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the 1970s pharmaceutical companies were being sued a lot for vaccine injury. These companies were going to stop producing vaccines but the government stepped in and made a law that makes it illegal for anyone to sue a pharmaceutical company for vaccine injury. More info here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/Vaccine_Monitoring/history.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/Vaccine_Monitoring/history.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent you have to decide what poses a greater risk to your child: the diseases or the immunization.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be against your religion, specifically Christianity and Judaism. Leviticus prohibits consuming 'diseased' meat. Vaccines are made by infecting animal or human fetal tissue and then extracting the virus from it. Every vaccine contains some infected tissue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also object to aborted fetuses being used in this way. For some vaccines you can find a vaccine from a different manufacturer that uses animal tissue as opposed to aborted human fetal tissue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not one study has been done to investigate whether there are any negative effects associated with the complete vaccine schedule recommended by the CDC. Individual vaccines &#xA;must be tested but they're not all tested together. A controlled study should be performed that compares vaccinated and unvaccinated children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1402" LastEditorUserId="1402" LastEditDate="2012-06-14T00:37:41.513" LastActivityDate="2012-06-14T00:37:41.513" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5170" CreationDate="2012-05-27T03:23:49.720" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've recently read &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0307341607&quot;&gt;Positive Parenting&lt;/a&gt;, and it has several suggestions we're going to implement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, no TV within an hour of bedtime for either child.  This is from me, not from the book-- TV is just too stimulating, even the most simplistic programs, so once one kid's going to bed, shut it off for the other one to get him to calm down.  I have our TV plugged into a power strip, and I'll just trip the switch when I want TV to be off.  No ifs, ands, or buts-- if it's off, it's off.  If it really becomes an issue, I'll trip the breaker to the living room.  Also, we only have one TV, rather than multiple TVs spread throughout the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, make a chart detailing the bedtime steps using pictures featuring the son in question.  So, for us, the photos are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eating dinner&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clearing his plate&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taking a bath&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;getting dressed in PJ's&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;playing after bathtime (puzzles, running outside, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;brushing teeth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;reading a book with mommy/daddy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sleeping&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way, we can point to which step we are in the process, and get him through from one step to the next.  Making the chart is also fun, and is a project that involves the older child and at least one parent.  We have a printer, so printing the photos and then putting them on a larger piece of paper using a glue stick is pretty straightforward; otherwise, a trip to the local printer or library or something similar may be necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is to engage him in bedtime, make it a process he can be a part of by making the chart and walking him through the steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, I'd suggest that the two of you swap off, if possible, between putting one or the other child to bed.  If you're both present and able, one parent should be sufficient to put one child to bed.  If you're not both present or not both able, then that could be a tricky issue as it is.  I've noticed that our son is much more responsive to helping out (ie, &quot;I need your help to do this!&quot;) rather than being ordered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-05-27T03:23:49.720" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5177" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-27T06:45:30.317" Score="2" ViewCount="87" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/35/at-what-age-should-i-expect-my-daughter-to-talk&quot;&gt;At what age should I expect my daughter to talk?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2 years old daughter is very active and seems to learn and understand many things. She even talks a lot although what she says is meaningless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing she doesn't do is uttering meaningful words. Is it normal at this age ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2456" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T13:07:59.580" Title="Why my 2 years old doesn't talk?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2012-05-29T06:51:51.250" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5179" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-27T23:59:58.790" Score="7" ViewCount="142" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a young boy 12 months old and ever since he has been able to move (wiggle, crawl, walk) he has never liked having his nappy changed.  He fights and pulls away, arches his back, cries and screams.  Once we have finished nappy changing and dressing him is is a box of birds and happy as can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently it's taking two of us, with one of us trying to distract him by giving toys, singing and doing anything to keep him on his back.  But even then sometimes that doesn't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always changed him on the floor as that's been the easiest for us to manage and we don't have any appropriate change table or even anywhere up high to do it on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this something I should be worried about?  Is there anything I could do to make the process easier or even to help him enjoy this a bit more.  I've seen other babies just lie there and accept being changed almost without a sound out of em.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's a great wee boy but change time can be really taxing and quite stressful at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2455" LastActivityDate="2012-05-29T20:12:05.280" Title="Can I help settle my child and make them enjoy nappy changing" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5158" CreationDate="2012-05-28T00:27:52.873" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's possible that this is just a sleep regression - you yourself mentioned the &quot;eight month crisis&quot; (sometimes known as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askmoxie.org/2008/03/talk-about-the.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;9 month sleep regression&lt;/a&gt;, but the timing varies by kid) which is a common time for bad sleep.  With these &quot;the only way out is through;&quot; it's quite possible that no matter what you do the wakings will continue until the underlying cause (developmental leap, new skill, etc.) is over.  According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewonderweeks.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Wonder Weeks&lt;/a&gt; separation anxiety may hit just before 7 months causing fussiness, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewonderweeks.com/index.php/about-the-wonder-weeks/your-babys-10-leaps/mental-leap-6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wonder Week 37&lt;/a&gt; with its associated fussy phase is right during 7 months.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00355ERQK&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bed Timing&lt;/a&gt; would suggest that 7 months should be &lt;strong&gt;before&lt;/strong&gt; separation anxiety begins and that it is actually an ideal time for some form of sleep training.  The book also makes a great point that no form of sleep training has been proven more effective than any other - the key is consistency in all methods.  So if you are comfortable with a form of crying - whether it is total extinction or gradual waiting - this may be a good time to try.  However the timing in Bed Timing contradicts the timing in The Wonder Weeks, so based on your child you'll want to decide whether now is a good time to sleep train.  Based on what you're seeing I'd guess that the developmental leaps Bed Timing attributes to 8 months are happening early in your son and you may just need to soldier through until a happier phase, when you can begin to address any sleep issues that remain.  Or you can try to address them now - depending on your child they may work despite the developmental issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also possible that your baby became overtired at some point - did you go on vacation or change your routine somehow?  Being overtired tends to lead to more night wakings.  Consider trying an earlier bedtime for several days and see if sleep improves.  Just slide it 20 minutes for 4 or so days.  If it gets better you may want to try even earlier.  Make sure naps are in order as much as you can, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2012-06-20T15:05:27.853" LastActivityDate="2012-06-20T15:05:27.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5179" CreationDate="2012-05-28T02:34:47.083" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try nappy pants. Its not as taxing and my kids seem to less resistant to it.  Also you can involve them with saying &quot;first leg in... second leg in..&quot; and let them do it themselves with your help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2650" LastActivityDate="2012-05-28T02:34:47.083" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5182" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5198" CreationDate="2012-05-28T08:28:17.700" Score="11" ViewCount="772" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always frowned on the use of dummies, because my mother (who ran a nursery for 25 years) was adamant that they can hinder a child's speech development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our new baby is very unsettled and very collicy, and the midwife is recommending using a dummy to help settle him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, is there any evidence behind this claim that it hinders speech development? And if so, what is the age that it starts making a difference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-05-28T13:11:42.357" LastActivityDate="2016-12-17T15:03:47.853" Title="Do dummies (&quot;pacifiers&quot;) hinder speech development?" Tags="|infant|newborn|pacifier|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5170" CreationDate="2012-05-28T16:48:50.383" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really don't think this is something you should be trying to resolve on your own or via the Internet. Please seek family counseling via the yellow pages or Google for a counselor in your area, but I congrats you on making an active effort on trying to stop this and seeing it as a problem that needs to be addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children will always be a challenge to get to bed for any family, and while I'm sure there is an endless list of recommendations on what might work best. The one thing you need to make a decision about is if this a bonding time for you and your child, or is it a control issue in obedience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally can't image spanking a child for not going to bed. That's a horrible way to end the day. Try sitting down with both of them, reading them both a story, make it a family time, have them brush their teeth together and let bed time be a positive experience for them both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2012-05-28T16:48:50.383" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5154" CreationDate="2012-05-28T20:56:33.447" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There aren't enough details to give an accurate assessment. A general rule of thumb is to give as much as you take. If you have a full day away your wife should get the same. I often have to push my partner out of the door. Once she is out she really enjoys her self.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This balance stops any build up of resentment. Kids are lovely.. they are.. but you don't want to feel like you are alays lumbered with them while your partner is out haing fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2651" LastActivityDate="2012-05-28T20:56:33.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5114" CreationDate="2012-05-28T21:03:56.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid was slow developing. I was worried about a variety of things until he started crawling at 15 months and walking at 17 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In England you have a health visitor you can call if you have queries. I found this of great use just to reassure that kids develop at different rates and this is still in the range of normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say speak to someone but don't worry too much. Some kids are a bit slow. Once they master something though they will soon catch up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2651" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-22T12:30:13.537" LastActivityDate="2019-08-22T12:30:13.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5170" CreationDate="2012-05-29T03:04:22.667" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, &lt;strong&gt;emotions are really big beasts inside us, and they can be scary things for any small child who doesn't feel he has the means to control them&lt;/strong&gt;.  Please keep in mind that your son isn't born knowing what to do when he feels angry or frustrated; these are just huge feelings inside his body and they feel really, really bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your child will learn to cope with these feelings by modeling your behavior.&lt;/strong&gt;  If you yell and hit when you are angry, your child will yell and hit when he is angry.  Of course, the irony is that you are angry and frustrated to such a degree precisely because he is not behaving properly when he is angry and frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it is easy to be calm and objective when your child is not having a meltdown, but in the heat of the moment, it is not always so easy to control our own behavior and really think about what we are teaching our children.  It can be especially difficult if his screaming fits wake his brother (I have two boys as well, so I understand).  So the very first thing you need to do is &lt;strong&gt;deal with his tantrums constructively, before they escalate to point where you lose control&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is five, so pretty well past the point where timeouts would be effective, however he is ripe for confining him to his room. It may be hard at first, but it won't take very many room confinements before he learns that he can scream to his heart's content and it still won't get him what he wants.  I let my boy have tantrums in his room and I wait (and do breathing exercises to stay calm) until he calms down before I talk to him.  His room is safe, and he is old enough to be in there alone for ten or fifteen minutes...or longer, if that's what it takes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Room confinement is a means to help diffuse emotional tension so that a child can listen well enough to have his behavior corrected, and a parent is calm enough to explain the difference between correct and incorrect behavior&lt;/strong&gt;. It is not a punishment.  Once everybody has calmed down, I ask my son how he feels, and why he feels that way.  Then I explain that his tantrum was disruptive and not nice, but I understand how he feels. Then I give an example of proper behavior, usually couched as an example of how I behave when I feel that way. Finally, I have him apologize and then we move on without harping on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So once you have a plan for coping with his tantrums and your anger, you should be able to reduce those tantrums by making bedtime feel comfortable and safe for him.  There are a lot of different reasons why your son might have objected to bedtime, but right now, for certain, he has a very negative association with bedtime, and you can change that quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start with a solid routine (if you don't already have one) and focus on making your child feel good about getting ready for sleep.  For instance, you can praise him for the things he can do by himself, and compliment his cooperation for the things he needs help with. Also, remember that bedtime is a time when your child's fears and anxieties can surface easily because he is tired and not well trained at controlling his emotions. It is a good time to bond with him by encouraging him to talk about his feelings (when he is still in control of them), and by showing your respect for his attempts to act appropriately, even if he is not always successful. &lt;strong&gt;Everything takes practice, so take notice when he is exerting emotional control and encourage him when you know how difficult it can be.&lt;/strong&gt; These small things will increase his trust in you, and he will be less likely to have a tantrum in order to get you to pay attention to how he feels because he will come to believe that you actually care about his emotions and will listen to him if he wants to tell you that he is upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My specific recommendations to help with bedtime:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give him notice. &quot;When this show is done, it will be bedtime.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make a firm statement when it is time. &quot;OK, the show is done. It's time to turn off the TV. Let's go to bed.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bribery is OK if you offer it &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; the tantrums start, but &lt;em&gt;do not negotiate&lt;/em&gt;. &quot;I'm bringing a little dessert than you can have after you put your jammies on.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise the little things early on. &quot;Wow! You got your jammies on so fast!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stick to a clear routine. Predictability (consistency) will help cancel negative associations. &quot;What do we do next? Brush our teeth!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a night-night ritual. My son always asks me what I want to dream about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastEditorUserId="1969" LastEditDate="2012-06-01T15:36:18.460" LastActivityDate="2012-06-01T15:36:18.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5187" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5188" CreationDate="2012-05-29T11:39:48.590" Score="11" ViewCount="8444" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little boy is 2½, and has never been very good at playing by himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we take him to play-groups he won't ever go more than a few feet away from us at any time; At a party last week, he wouldn't come on the bouncy-castle unless I came on too; Whenever I leave the room- e.g. to go to the bathroom- invariably he stands outside the door screaming till I come out to play with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I give him a lot of attention, and play with him an awful lot. But it would sometimes be nice if he would go and play with his toys on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is actually a very confident little boy, and I hear he is always one of the most vocal and active when he is at nursery. He just seems to need us giving him our full attention all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone suggest techniques for encouraging him to play on his own whenever we aren't able to play with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T19:47:57.527" Title="Encouraging my 2-year-old to play independently" Tags="|toddler|independence|play|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5187" CreationDate="2012-05-29T12:36:29.327" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you play with him at home, say to him, I can play with you for 10 minutes, but then I have to run to put dinner in the oven and will be right back.  At the end of 10 minutes, say I am going to put dinner in the oven and then I will be right back, how about you make superman fly over the tower of blocks (or whatever you are playing) while I am gone and then we will see what he does next.  Then return right after you put dinner in the oven.  Next time you play extend the length of time you are gone by a few minutes, but still suggesting what he should do while you are gone.  Yes, he may (read probably) cry the first times but if you are consistent and follow through about returning he will learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-29T12:36:29.327" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5154" CreationDate="2012-05-29T19:25:44.403" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bravo to you for incorporating friends into you life!  Now, make sure your wife does the same! I've worked out a deal with my husband that one time per week my husband has the freedom to do whatever he wants for the day, hook up with his friend, workout for hours, whatever he wants!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I noticed I started to get resentful...I'm with the kids all the time (after work that is)! I realized that I was resentful because I didn't have a friend to do something with once per week on a regular basis. My husband is super supportive when I do finally manage to get together with a friend, it's so healthy for both of us to have time away from the family and be ourselves with our friends, and it's a great example to the kids showing them that nurturing relationships outside the family is important...it helps balance out our lives!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the key is SUPPORT.  Make sure you tell her to go, leave, take off, with or without a friend, to do her own thing and have some time to herself. Then, you take the kids and show her you can have a special time with them alone too! We all need to regenerate once in a while!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2658" LastActivityDate="2012-05-29T19:25:44.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5179" CreationDate="2012-05-29T20:12:05.280" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not many people realise this, but 1 year is old enough to introduce a potty. He may welcome the distraction if he likes books or something similar where he doesn't have to move. It can actually be a really nice bonding time where he knows he gets your attention sitting there (doesn't matter if he doesn't do anything). The time to put him on would be after cleanup and when you/he have had enough put the new nappy on. This would make the process quite different, but only try it if you think he'll really enjoy it (the activity you do whilst he's on there) - we don't want to make sitting on the potty traumatic for him in any way!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: if it's the lying down he doesn't like then try and make it a fun and amusing active time. Play peek-a-boo and put the (clean) nappy on your head whilst you &quot;look for it&quot; etc. Lift his legs up and arms up looking for the nappy. This is also something you could do whilst he's on a potty if you're up for that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2012-05-29T20:12:05.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5182" CreationDate="2012-05-29T20:50:03.673" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is my opinion, not a study, but I suspect the statement is related to awake/play time, not rest and sleep. By 6 months your baby should move past the collic phase and so either no longer require the dummy/pacifier or only need it for sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastActivityDate="2012-05-29T20:50:03.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5187" CreationDate="2012-05-30T01:28:25.693" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have tried the simple direction &quot;go play on your own&quot; combined with praise when my son is found to be playing on his own. The results are mixed and the effort is ongoing.&#xA;This article inspired me to work on my son's independence and might help you too. The title may not charm you but there are some interesting points made.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rdd.me/s87q7qje&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Why French Parents Are Superior&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-05-30T01:28:25.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5070" CreationDate="2012-05-30T04:41:41.520" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby wasn't fussy but my wife was. Result, we went through 5 changes of milk in the first 3 months. My wife, naturally wanted the best for out baby. As we live in China, she was worried about the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Chinese_milk_scandal&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;safety of domestic milk brands&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started out with a Dutch brand and she bought two bottles then I pointed out that the milk was form Indonesia and bottled in Hong Kong, so she went off that. We switched to a New Zealand brand. The baby poo became thicker and green. While we were told this was quite normal, my wife demanded another switch. We opted for Bellamy's, an Australian Organic brand at four times the price of the first brand. However, my wife still worried that the shop might be selling fakes so I arranged for an Australian friend to post me out cans of milk powder. This almost doubles the cost of the milk but the Australian price is less than half the price in China so it works out as a small saving. Though still four times higher than if we opted for a local make. My wife is now content with the milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long story short, the baby had no problems with any of these changes. I'm sure some brands do tasted different. My wife claims so. Thus some babies might reject some tastes but if your baby likes the milk, an you are happy with the quality, then why not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1384" LastEditorUserId="1384" LastEditDate="2012-06-15T04:11:12.890" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T04:11:12.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5195" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5208" CreationDate="2012-05-30T05:50:54.210" Score="4" ViewCount="14425" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has been waking up with nose bleeds that past couple of nights. Tonight the nose bleed was bad enough it woke my son up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way to help prevent nighttime nose bleeds or reduce how often they occur?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="28" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:52:55.220" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T13:01:23.717" Title="Nose Bleeds at night" Tags="|night-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5196" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5197" CreationDate="2012-05-30T12:29:29.810" Score="4" ViewCount="1029" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the last 2 months, we have been taking our daughter, now 4 months old, to the baby swimming twice a week. She enjoys it however she doesn't really swim. She just sits, floats and lounges: allowing the currents to take her up and down the pool. Is there anything we can do to encourage her to kick more when swimming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1384" LastActivityDate="2012-06-05T13:44:37.890" Title="How to encourage a 4 month old to swim" Tags="|infant|swimming|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5196" CreationDate="2012-05-30T12:41:47.050" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hold her knees and kick for her. But...&#xA;She is swimming. She is 4 months old, enjoying the water is the most important thing at this age!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-05-30T12:41:47.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5182" CreationDate="2012-05-30T14:21:00.190" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remembered reading that recent pediatric research in the US has said that pacifiers are OK.  I looked at some recent papers and found these:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/e1341.full#sec-36&quot;&gt;Pacifiers reduce the risk of SIDS&lt;/a&gt; (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).  That's a pretty strong recommendation for nap-time use.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11466098&quot;&gt;Pacifiers &lt;em&gt;probably&lt;/em&gt; don't interfere with breast-feeding&lt;/a&gt;.  There's correlation between pacifier-use and poor breast-feeding, but the suspicion is that trouble breast-feeding leads to more use, rather than the other way around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://fampra.oxfordjournals.org/content/25/4/233.full&quot;&gt;Pacifiers are a risk-factor for acute otitis media (ear infections)&lt;/a&gt;.  Pretty weird, I thought.  Other risk factors include not breast-feeding, living with smokers, having siblings, and going to day-care.  The risk increase is pretty small, but they say that if you use a pacifier and your kid gets an infection, you might consider stopping, because the risk increase for repeated infections is greater.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ejo.oxfordjournals.org/content/8/2/127.abstract?ijkey=be6de7e3455f7b13bf22b7474911311e3617cefe&amp;amp;keytype2=tf_ipsecsha&quot;&gt;Pacifiers may cause some tooth/mouth deformation, but that generally stops when the child discontinues sucking&lt;/a&gt;.  This paper is the oldest of the bunch by far, and so I wonder if modern pacifiers might not be better, but I couldn't find any newer study.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would summarize these papers as saying pacifiers are &lt;strong&gt;good for infants below 6 months of age&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;bad for children over 3 years of age&lt;/strong&gt;, and &lt;strong&gt;neutral for children aged 6 months to 3 years&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edit: I realized I didn't actually answer your specific question.  I found no papers at all on the subject of pacifiers and speech development, which implies that the concern is not considered credible by current pediatricians.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2662" LastEditorUserId="2662" LastEditDate="2012-05-30T16:09:20.160" LastActivityDate="2012-05-30T16:09:20.160" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5199" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5201" CreationDate="2012-05-30T20:01:58.833" Score="12" ViewCount="22701" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is five years old and simply does not want to learn to swim. We've had him in swimming lessons, but he won't go in the water and if put in the water will not make any effort to swim. He is afraid of the water and afraid that the instructor is going to let him sink, and when he gets upset he simply closes up and refuses to engage, which is very frustating, especially for adults who don't know him well. So swimming lessons have been a bit traumatic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he needs to know how to swim, it's a matter of basic health. What can I do to get him back in the pool and learning?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-20T17:38:23.003" LastActivityDate="2019-08-22T09:14:48.387" Title="How can I encourage my 5-year-old to learn to swim?" Tags="|primary-schooler|motivation|swimming|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5196" CreationDate="2012-05-30T21:09:16.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Show her how much fun splashing is - that's what we did, and made a game of it. They cottoned on pretty quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now aiming the kicks to propel them - that's a whole different game :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-05-30T21:09:16.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5199" CreationDate="2012-05-30T21:48:39.533" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I currently take my 4 year old to swimming classes. When he started (at 3.5yo), I would go into the toddler pool with him. I had to continue this with him even when he started formal swimming lessons. I now get to sit on the side-lines with the other parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think getting into the pool with the child makes a great difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did the same with my daughter when she was a similar age. With her, the big issue was getting her to go underwater. It took a bit of one-on-one time with me, then she was fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our school (like most in Australia) has mandatory swimming classes starting at prep. It was important to have some degree of confidence before they started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-05-30T21:48:39.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5202" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-05-30T23:35:41.610" Score="14" ViewCount="49478" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see a lot on this site and all over the Internet about toddlers that are late to talk. The general consensus seems to be as long as they can understand when you talk to them then don't worry, they will talk when they are ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well my child does not understand anything you say to him. He is 22 months old and doesn't seem to even understand when you call his own name. He doesn't appear to have any hearing problem either (Sometimes he turns to me when I whisper to him from across the room, but is just responding to the sound, and doesn't comprehend what I am saying). He seems to have his &quot;own&quot; language and is always talking/babbling but not saying any words. The fact that he doesn't understand anything we say is very worrisome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to have very good visual communication though, he knows when I put my shoes on it is time to leave and starts trying to open the front door. When I carry him to his room he knows its time for bed (because he doesn't like to go to bed and starts throwing a fit before I even get to his door.) He points to things he wants and if you reach your arms to him (even from across the room) he will come to you. Sometimes if he does something physical (eg: tumble down, pick his nose, put blocks together) if you respond by laughing/getting excited, he does it again and again to entertain you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the combination of very good non verbal communication but complete lack of verbal communication has me quite confused. Is this a sign of something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;// EDIT: an update note from the original author, dated June, 8th&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I took my son to the dr. today and she said he should definitely be able to understand simple commands like &quot;Give me&quot; or &quot;Come here&quot; and since he cannot understand any verbal command, it is a cause for concern.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;She gave me a number for early intervention so I can get him evaluated and get to the bottom of any underlying issue&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2664" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-05-16T05:18:41.240" LastActivityDate="2014-06-26T00:27:07.220" Title="Nearly 2 and doesn't comprehend speech" Tags="|development|speech|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5199" CreationDate="2012-05-31T03:18:51.173" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he has no issue with taking baths, maybe you can desensitize him by practicing there.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He could wear his swimming trunks in the bath (filled to the usual level), and he could have a fun new toy to play with to entice him in.  Make it seem as exciting as possible, like a special treat to get to do your bath this way.  I would not make him put his face in the water or anything like that, just sit there and play with the toy.  Then gradually increase the level of water in the bathtub over a number of nights to 6&quot; or so, and while he is playing talk about how learning to swim is kind of like playing in a big bathtub.  Then proceed to a small backyard child's pool (again with fun toys or one of his friends).  Then when you are ready to transition to the real pool it seems like it would work best to find as small as one as possible and shallow where he can actually stand by himself.  Take similar toys to the real pool (or a new one) to help distract.  It may still take a lot of work from this point but it seems like right now the issue is comfort just getting into the water.              &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1429" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T03:18:51.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2012-05-31T08:05:28.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing no-one's mentioned is vaccinations. The recommendation in the UK is to wait till your child's been vaccinated, as pools are obvious places for diseases to breed (warm, wet, full of children). If you're using a private pool, the risk of infection is lower, so the restrictions are less critical. After that, you can start as soon as you like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2/what-are-the-objective-arguments-against-immunizations-for-infants-and-children&quot;&gt;If you're not having your child vaccinated&lt;/a&gt;, then obviously infection is the risk you take, so consult your paediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T08:05:28.923" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5165" CreationDate="2012-05-31T10:45:48.323" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd leave and find somewhere else and other groups of people to play with.   We're lucky to have places to go where we meat other conscious and reasonable parents so we don't experience this sort of thing often, but when we do we stay close and leave as soon as we can basically. However fun it seems, it's not worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A side effect of &quot;depriving&quot; your children of those hyper-intensive-active situations with kids running wild screaming their heads off is also that they'll know/remember how to have fun playing with a cardboard box and be ecstatic with a bouncy ball.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T10:45:48.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5165" CreationDate="2012-05-31T11:25:56.810" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found that children generally are deferential to adults who aren't their relatives or friends. So be friendly and don't be scared to engage with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found if children are hogging stuff, if you say: &quot;Hey there can my kid have a go on this, it looks cool?&quot; will usually result in them moving along to something else, or showing you and your kid how whatever you want to do works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With low-level pushing and shoving then it you make yourself know as a presence then kids can back off. Usually I ask my son if he is okay, he'll usually complain about the kid who has pushed him. At which point we go back to asking if we can play with whatever they are shoving over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to fighting then I always say: &quot;Hey, cut that out!&quot;. Kid's that use violence are generally old enough and savvy enough to know they are misbehaving. And that behaviour isn't acceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not about disciplining children, it's about making them aware of what they are doing. They should know whether that is behavior is acceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2666" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T11:25:56.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5199" CreationDate="2012-05-31T12:17:02.627" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there any &quot;waterworld&quot; type of attractions you could take him to ? Something like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.waterworld.co.uk/photo-gallery.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; with slides, fountains, structures etc; a kind of adventure playground in water. It could perhaps be a good idea to get him comfortable with being in the water in a very play-orientated setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2663" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T12:17:02.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5195" CreationDate="2012-05-31T13:55:41.360" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has the same problem, and a humidifier in her room helped resolve some of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did take her to the doctor but she basically said to keep her fingers our of her nose, which has been a challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without other symptoms like a fever or earaches there isn't really anything that can be done medically. If it persists for more then 3 days then take the child to the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T13:55:41.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5209" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5210" CreationDate="2012-05-31T14:36:49.447" Score="10" ViewCount="59316" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 month old has cried out at between 4:00 and 6:00 a.m. for hours in gas pain almost every night for the past 6 weeks or so.  There have been 2 or 3 nights in this time where she did not have an issue.  She usually nurses right before bedtime around 6:45 p.m., between 12 and 2 a.m. (depending on how she sleeps), and then again sometime during the gassy episodes at around 5 a.m.  The nights when she has not had pain have usually happened because she had an unusually good first stretch of sleep and did not nurse until after 3:30 a.m.  I know it is gas pain because she is scrunching her legs up and crying very shrilly.  Unfortunately feeding her at 5 does not usually help to release gas or a bowel movement.  It does sometimes put her in a deep enough sleep that she doesn't notice the pain.  To help soothe her I usually give her a pacifier to suck on and put a gently warmed rice sock on her tummy.  I'm loathe to try more invasive things because she's usually half asleep crying.  However my spouse and I are getting exhausted from the 4 a.m. morning and I can't imagine baby is getting good quality sleep either!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've talked to either a nurse or doctor at my pediatrician's several times describing the fact that the episodes can last up to 2 hours, basically until Baby's usual wake-up and feeding (when she often does release gas and a bowel movement because she's finally wide awake - during the day she rarely has gassy episodes and usually about 3 dirty diapers, all loose to very loose).  All I ever get is &quot;that's normal for her age.&quot;  One nurse did advise the rice sock, and it does seem to help her feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen online all the suggestions for Mom to avoid dairy or &quot;gassy&quot; foods, but I'm loathe to complicate life with an infant further without real medical cause and I don't know of any doctor who routinely advises a breastfeeding mother to avoid certain foods unless an allergy really is suspected.  My baby doesn't spit up much that we can see but does seem to occasionally spit up and then swallow it back down.  She's pretty cheerful, though, so I don't suspect reflux.  It's just this night time episode when she's been lying still for hours after a feeding, hits light sleep, and then notices the pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard that 4 months is the magic time when the usual gas pain will go away.  I've been planning on gritting my teeth about this whole issue until my baby's 4 month check-up and bringing it up yet again if it's still happening.  What should I say when I do, or should I try calling in yet again with other information?  Could the pediatrician be missing something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2012-05-31T14:57:29.193" LastActivityDate="2018-03-08T15:15:32.330" Title="Is my pediatrician missing something about my 3 month old's gas pain?" Tags="|infant|sleep|gas|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5209" CreationDate="2012-05-31T15:46:24.130" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's actually quite common for foods that a breastfeeding mother is eating to cause gas or colicy behavior in a child. A friend had to avoid eating chocolate because her child would cry on hours and hours after she'd eat a chocolate. Lo behold, that child still doesn't like chocolate - not allergic to it - but it just doesn't sit well. I've known people whose infants have had issues with the mother eating orange juice as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Occasionally a baby will be fussy at the breast or gassy after you eat&#xA;  a particular food. If you notice a pattern, avoid that food for a few&#xA;  days. To test whether that food really was the cause, reintroduce it&#xA;  once and see if there's an effect. Mothers report that babies most&#xA;  often object to chocolate; spices (cinnamon, garlic, curry, chili&#xA;  pepper); citrus fruits and their juices, like oranges, lemons, limes,&#xA;  and grapefruit; strawberries; kiwifruit; pineapple; the gassy veggies&#xA;  (onion, cabbage, garlic, cauliflower, broccoli, cucumbers, and&#xA;  peppers); and fruits with a laxative effect, such as cherries and&#xA;  prunes. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_are-there-any-foods-i-should-avoid-while-breastfeeding_8906.bc&quot;&gt;Read More&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is something you eat in the evening or at dinner everyday, and you are breastfeeding, consider eliminating that - or at least finding out what it is. I am not sure why you are dismissing this is a &quot;lack of medical cause.&quot; This happens, it is a fact. The cause of it is clear too. It is not an old wives tale. And no, it is not common to medicate the child to get rid of this gas pain. It is an adjustment period for the child to very new foods. There are even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.journals.elsevierhealth.com/periodicals/yjada/article/S0002-8223%2896%2900013-2/abstract&quot;&gt;studies&lt;/a&gt; on this topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Relative risks (RRs) and 95% confidence intervals (CIs) for colic&#xA;  symptoms by food items the mothers consumed ranged from 0.7 (CI=0.3 to&#xA;  1.5) for beef to 2.0 (01=1.1 to 3.5) for cow's milk. Maternal intake of cabbage (RR=1.3, CI=1.1 to 1.5), cauliflower (RR=1.2, CI=1.0 to&#xA;  1.4), broccoli (RR=1.3, CI=1.0 to 2.2), cow's milk (RR=2.0, CI=1.1 to 3.5), onion (RR=1.7, CI=1.1 to 2.5), and chocolate (RR=1.5, CI=1.0 to 2.2) were significantly related to colic symptoms. Maternal intake of more than one cruciferous vegetable was associated with an RR of 1.6&#xA;  (CI=1.1 to 2.4) for infants experiencing one or more colic symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want to change your eating habits, your options revolve around switching to formula (look for ones that go down gently; formulas give gas too) or just waiting it out. The baby's body may get used to it. Clarification: Don't begin by avoiding &quot;known gaseous foods.&quot; You'll unnecessarily be depriving yourself and your child of nutritional variety. It is better to figure out what it is that you ate that particular day that might be causing gas. Do you eat orange juice with dinner everyday? Try it in a smaller quantity or skip it for a few days. Skip garlic one day - did it make a difference? No? Okay, put it back in your diet and try skipping cauliflower next. Think of it as a game ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't heard of four months being the magic time when gas pain goes away. Usually gas pain happens when the kid's stomach is adjusting to something new - breast milk, solids, etc. So it'll &quot;come back&quot; when you start your child on solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-05-31T19:28:26.427" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T19:28:26.427" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2012-05-31T16:54:44.437" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the comments have said, don't be afraid to ask your pediatrician about it, since it worries you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, can you give some more examples on why you feel that your son doesn't understand verbal communication? Whether you answer here or not is up to you, but very likely, your pediatrician will ask the same thing, so make sure you have examples prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, with the information you've given us, I agree with deworde that it's very likely a hearing issue. It's entirely possible for someone with severe hearing impairment to hear some things, but not enough to understand what you're saying (my stepfather has about 20% hearing capability and can hear enough to know &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; you're saying something, even when he can't hear &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; you're saying). In those cases, it's often about pitch more than volume.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastEditorUserId="1155" LastEditDate="2012-06-04T13:24:33.330" LastActivityDate="2012-06-04T13:24:33.330" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5209" CreationDate="2012-05-31T17:03:58.013" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think Swati has made excellent valid points.  I suspect it's probably primarily gas as well.  If you don't want to approach the change in diet as an option, there are some OTC gas remedies that might help some.  You can try Mylicon gas drops (sometimes just called gas drops) or you might have some limited success with gripe water.  I wouldn't discount acid reflux either just because your child seems &quot;happy&quot;.  My daughter had silent reflux and rarely if ever spit up, but you could hear her spit up and then she'd swallow.  Some physicians suggest his form of reflux is worse than if they actually do spit up because by swallowing they are subjecting their esophagus to the stomach acid twice.  Likewise, my niece was a happy baby and wasn't diagnosed with AR until she was almost a year old--which explained her trouble sleeping and recurring ear infections.  It may be a combination of gas pains and acid reflux that is causing the crying.  If she has a mild case of reflux, then having a gas bubble is putting more pressure on her little digestive tract and might be intensifying the AR pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T17:03:58.013" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5199" CreationDate="2012-05-31T17:15:55.100" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might ask if there are any instructors with experience in beginning and fearful children or adults. If so, perhaps ask if he or she is willing to do a private session or two. Your child probsbly just needs extra time which just isn't available in a regular class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possible aid is a friend or a relative who likes to swim. Peer pressure can be a wonderful thing. B-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2007" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T17:15:55.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5199" CreationDate="2012-05-31T17:40:02.337" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was terrified of the water until I was six or seven.  My parents would take me to swim lessons, and I would cling white-knuckled to the wall and cry and scream the whole time.  Then, one day, a swim instructor who was very old school and very no-nonsense literally picked me up and threw me into the shallow end of the pool.  Within a few minutes I sort of figured out for myself that I could indeed swim well enough to keep my head above water, I was tall enough to stand up in the shallow end, and by the end of the day I was jumping off the diving board into 9 feet of water.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I certainly don't recommend that you try this with your 5-year-old, but I think for whatever reason, your son has developed this fear and before you can really address the swimming issue, you need to address the fear of the water itself.  I think this means ensuring he's comfortable in the water and helping him build his self-confidence in the water.  This means that, for now, when he goes in the water, you or your spouse need to go with him.  It means lots of encouragement when he does something right.  But right now his fear is over-riding any desire to learn to swim.  Once he starts seeing the water as a less-scary and more fun, then teaching him to swim will be a lot easier--and that may be a realization he has to come to on his own.  Once I became more comfortable in the water, I mastered the basic swimming strokes and skills in no time, and by the time I was in high school I was a lifeguard and a swim instructor in the summer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as there is no immediate danger to your child (ie. you own a pool or live near open water), I would focus my energies on making your son more comfortable in the water, stress that he never goes near the water without mommy or daddy, and always take a life jacket with you when you go near water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-05-31T17:40:02.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5199" CreationDate="2012-06-01T18:35:08.597" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start at home with the bathtub, first with backfloating, then blowing air bubbles in the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2012-06-01T18:35:08.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5195" CreationDate="2012-06-01T18:36:53.803" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A humidifier helps, but even more effective than that is to apply Vaseline to the nostrils using a Q-tip.  Do it every night before going to bed, and hope that eventually he will grow out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2012-06-01T18:36:53.803" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5218" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5219" CreationDate="2012-06-02T22:09:27.933" Score="0" ViewCount="833" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have just moved house and the new home has a water softener which I've been pouring salt into. Does this salt end up in the water and will it raise the sodium content of the water? I'm concerned that the children might be getting too much sodium from this water softening system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1337" LastActivityDate="2012-06-03T06:05:51.390" Title="Does a water softener add sodium to your drinking water?" Tags="|water|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2012-06-03T13:20:22.517" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5218" CreationDate="2012-06-03T06:05:51.390" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it does add sodium, but not much. According to Mayo, it's negligible but if you are concerned, talk to your doctor:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sodium/AN00317&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sodium/AN00317&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-06-03T06:05:51.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5220" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5223" CreationDate="2012-06-04T11:58:24.627" Score="14" ViewCount="1278" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have an 8-month-old baby boy. Having a fight, for example debating, is something that we don't want to do. &#xA;But sometimes, we can't avoid having a fight in front of our son. When the situation goes bad like that, what should we do in order to avoid the negative effects on our son, especially his emotions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-05-05T12:22:45.730" LastActivityDate="2019-05-05T12:22:45.730" Title="How to minimize the negative impact on our child when we parents argue?" Tags="|infant|parents|emotional-well-being|conflict|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5220" CreationDate="2012-06-04T12:17:22.070" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, I would say there's a huge difference between having a fight and having a debate. A debate sounds like something healthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would avoid raised voices and name calling. Avoid throwing things and slamming doors. Avoid saying things that you are going to regret. Anything that can be construed in anyway as violent, whether verbally or physically, should be avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Walking away and taking some &lt;em&gt;quiet time alone&lt;/em&gt; should be one solution you try, especially if you are going to allow your child to have quite time as one of the potential ways of addressing his frustrations as he grows up. This will be actually setting a good example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-06-04T12:17:22.070" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5220" CreationDate="2012-06-04T12:42:22.523" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When the behavior that you are displaying begins either one of you can say, we need to table this until after the baby goes to sleep.  Then be sure to pick it up at that time to get it out of your system.  It is good to practice this now, as when the child gets older it becomes even more important.  And if you do end up fighting infront of a child, be sure to explain that people who love each other sometimes fight, but then they make up and that is healthy and normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-06-04T12:42:22.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5220" CreationDate="2012-06-04T14:07:52.757" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, you will argue.  That's normal; that's part of being in a relationship, as I'm sure you've figured out.  Having a child will only add stress to the relationship, so that means you will have arguments.  Especially when you go on car trips together (close quarters for extended periods), visit relatives, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the thing: The way that you argue will be models for how your child argues with their spouse(s) in the future.  If you are disrespectful to one another, then that will be how he reacts.  If you are calm, considerate, and respectful, then that will be how he is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is not whether or not you're going to argue in front of him; you will do that.  The question is, what kind of argument do you want to model?  That's really between the two of you.  The way that you argue is part of the way you two interact, and if you don't like some aspect of it, then that's what you work on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to argue respectfully, here are some argumentative behaviors to avoid:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Address the behavior, not the person.  Never say something like &quot;You always do that!&quot;, because then you're attacking the person and assuming that the behavior is intrinsic to them.  Say something like, &quot;Please don't do that.&quot;  If you attack the person, then you start to associate your negative feelings about the action with the person, even if the person isn't doing that action you despise.  Attacking the person builds long-term resentment, which is hard to recover from.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid getting stuck in a rut.  If you find yourselves arguing repeatedly about a particular subject (money, school schedules, bedtime schedules, who changes the diaper, etc), try to head the argument off.  Figure out what you can do together to avoid the argument (make a budget, make a schedule ahead of time, etc) to avoid the conflicts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mil-millington.com/&quot;&gt;Any argument between Mil and his girlfriend&lt;/a&gt; should be avoided  (this is a bit of a joke; Mr. Millington has made a name for himself and his arguments with his girlfriend).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As @Kith said, never, ever ask your child to take sides in an argument.  There is no way for anyone to come out ahead in that situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="2423" LastEditDate="2012-06-05T03:30:21.867" LastActivityDate="2012-06-05T03:30:21.867" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5196" CreationDate="2012-06-05T04:46:13.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can put her toys near her or give he toys to her. Toys that usually make her screaming or seems happy to play with. I think it would be an alternative solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastActivityDate="2012-06-05T04:46:13.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5196" CreationDate="2012-06-05T13:44:37.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter will be looking to you to provide cues, so the more you seem to be enjoying it and encouraging her, the more likely she will be to have fun, and having fun is the only way at that age that you're likely to get much in the way of results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Morah mentioned, the most important thing for her right now is enjoying her time in the water.  This will set the stage for a better transition to swimming, as floating in a big pool of water won't be fundamentally a scary, strange thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are things you can do to encourage your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, be supportive.  I mean both literally and figuratively.  If your daughter feels like she might sink, she'll lose focus on enjoying being in the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Float her on her back, with your arm under her body, and your hand cradling her head.  Gently turn in place, moving her through the water at a relatively slow pace, head first.  As you do this, keep eye contact with her, smile(!), and be verbally encouraging.  When we did this with my son, we were constantly saying &quot;Wheee!!!&quot; and &quot;Kick! Kick! Kick!&quot; to get him excited.  The more he kicked, the more enthusiastic our cheering became (along with quite a few &quot;Yay!&quot;'s added in).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our instructor also had us try a few other techniques, including blowing bubbles in the water, and quickly submerging the baby.  However, these were classes for children 6 months of age or older, so 4 months is probably too young, and I would absolutely make sure that you have an experienced (and certified!) instructor on hand to help walk you through the proper techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-06-05T13:44:37.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5220" CreationDate="2012-06-05T18:40:46.000" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I’ve heard suggested is that if an argument starts in the child’s presence, it should also be resolved in his or her presence (i.e.: if you get into an argument, don’t take it to another room to spare the child). The reasoning is that the child won’t understand that the argument was resolved, so his or her tension remains. You also lose the opportunity to model the resolution of disagreements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1557" LastActivityDate="2012-06-05T18:40:46.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5227" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-06T00:22:10.603" Score="6" ViewCount="7710" Body="&lt;p&gt;My in-laws want to take my kids soon on a day where the outside temp is supposed to be close to 90 degrees Fahrenheit (32°C); unfortunately, their car does not have Air Conditioning.  We live in the south U.S. were summer temperatures can be absolutely brutal.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it safe for my 6 year old and 5 year old to travel in a car with no A/C when the outside temp is 90 degrees?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2681" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-06-06T08:09:43.540" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T19:56:31.093" Title="Is it safe to travel by car without A/C when it's hot outside?" Tags="|pre-schooler|health|safety|travel|sickness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5227" CreationDate="2012-06-06T07:57:49.717" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, it's uncomfortable.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;No, it's not a concern.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal experience (having traveled &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt; thousands of km/miles in the summertime as a child) is that high temperatures while driving is not a serious concern. When you don't have A/C, then your best defense against heat is to be smart:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Passengers will be thirsty.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring lots of drinking water, but avoid sweet drinks and soda.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Passengers will sweat.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Place a fluffy towel on each seat, from the knees to the shoulders. It's not so much about absorbing the sweat but more about adding a thin ventilation layer between yourself and the seat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You'll need fresh air, and even if it's warm outside it will likely be warmer inside, so run the ventilation one or two notches higher than usual. Don't run it at full speed the whole time, that's very uncomfortable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unless you're driving very slowly, avoid opening any windows. The drafts can be very uncomfortable and even painful to the ears. Besides, the car's ventilation is better suited to actually &lt;em&gt;ventilate&lt;/em&gt; the cabin in terms of getting rid of the old air.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring a spare t-shirt to change either along the way, or at the destination.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep the sun out.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As much as you &lt;em&gt;safely&lt;/em&gt; can, block the rear side windows with a cloth diaper or similar. Roll down the window a little, put the top edge of the diaper over the window's edge, and roll it up again; the diaper now hangs down on the inside, blocking the sun from the passengers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can also buy suction-cupped window shades but IMHO these don't stick well (&lt;em&gt;they suck because they don't,&lt;/em&gt; haha) and they don't cover enough of the window surface.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't drive through &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Valley&quot;&gt;Death Valley&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to avoid driving during the noon hours (approx. 11:30-14:30) where the sun will hit you the hardest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider that on a road trip, one side of the car will usually get all the sun. Periodically swap places so that all passengers get a break from the sunny side.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Passengers will be tired, and stressed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When it's hot, taking rest stops frequently is even more important. You need to get out in the fresh air, chase each other around the car five times, hit the rest room, maybe buy an ice cream, and get back on the road again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring fruits and other snacks that handle heat well. Avoid M&amp;amp;M's...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course all of the above applies to the driver as well but I wanted to focus on the kids' well-being. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My national drivers' association has an interesting recommendation for those who &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; A/C: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Don't set the A/C more than a few degrees colder than the outside temp&#xA;  because entering/leaving the car is more brutal to your health than&#xA;  the actual temp in the car. [paraphrased]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-06-06T08:06:46.773" LastActivityDate="2012-06-06T08:06:46.773" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2012-06-06T13:52:18.580" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is anecdotal, but: One of my cousins had a similar problem when he was a child. He was late to understand speech, and his speech was absolutely unintelligible to his parents and other adults. His older sister and brother actually translated for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It turned out that he did have a hearing problem. As best I understand it, he had a form of Auditory Processing Disorder, which is kind of like hearing dyslexia. In his case, the problem was corrected with a combination of surgery and therapy. His late start in communication didn't cause him any long term problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mention that last because according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/ears/central_auditory.html#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Kids Health&quot;&gt;this article from Kid's Health&lt;/a&gt;, APD is difficult to diagnose with infants and may not be diagnosable until a child is 7 or 8 years old. I think my cousin was 5 before they figured out specifically what the issue was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned that he hasn't begun to talk yet, I don't think that that alone is cause for alarm. According to the speech experts I've either read or spoken to, a two-year-old boy who doesn't talk is not unusual. But if you are worried about something like ADP, there's no harm in bringing that up with his pediatrician at his 24 month appointment. I might keep some notes or even shoot some video that demonstrates your specific concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-06-06T13:52:18.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5230" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5231" CreationDate="2012-06-07T11:48:06.757" Score="8" ViewCount="6354" Body="&lt;p&gt;How long should a pair wait while trying to conceive before consulting a specialist doctor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it one year like most of the sites recommend, less or more?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-08T12:05:33.643" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T05:34:22.077" Title="How long should we try to conceive before consulting a doctor?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5230" CreationDate="2012-06-07T12:43:23.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We only waited 9 months and the Dr. was fine with that.  We did have complications between numbers 1 and 2 and for number two we finally did IVF, after trying all kinds of other things.  I know that for a first child, without any complications, a year is recommended.  I would even wait a bit longer.  The process once you see a specialist is really gruelling both physically and emotionally.  If you can possibly lower the stress level of wanting to conceive (I know this is really hard) often times that will help. How many times have I heard about couples who adopt and then get pregnant!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! My suggestion, all that being said, is go with your gut.  Worst that happens when you see a specialist is that they tell you to wait.  Another thing to keep in mind is that you will be working with the specialist, unfortunately, quite some time so if you don't like him or her change doctors before you get started with the meds and shots and blood work!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-06-08T08:20:29.467" LastActivityDate="2012-06-08T08:20:29.467" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5232" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5267" CreationDate="2012-06-07T14:02:38.723" Score="11" ViewCount="168269" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 month old went from starting on a good sleep trajectory (a five hour and 3 hour stretch at 8 weeks regularly) to waking between every 15 minutes and every 2 hours. What I'm trying to figure out is what causes the frequent night wakings. She was fighting her arms out of her swaddle and getting the fabric over her face in the process, so for her safety we taught her to sleep without it.  Plus she started sleep crying for gas pain or some other cause in the very early morning nearly every morning that we rushed to comfort.  With all that her sleep habits deteriorated.  They have been getting worse and worse since 9 weeks and at 14 weeks I am at my wits end with the double digit number of night wakings.  Reading that some people consider 4 bad was hardly comforting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen Marc Weissbluth's &lt;a href=&quot;http://sorensmom-ivil.tripod.com/earlybedtime.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;theory that the frequent waking issue is from some form of overtiredness&lt;/a&gt; in &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0345486455&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child&lt;/a&gt;.  I've tried his solution, too, which is &lt;em&gt;invariably&lt;/em&gt; to move bedtime earlier.  Well Her bedtime has consistently been earlier than 6:30 for well over a week with no changes.  I'm sure the completely fragmented sleep is making her overtired, but earlier bedtimes are doing &lt;em&gt;nothing&lt;/em&gt; to help.   Her naps are not yet organized (I'm despairing that they ever will be at this rate) and so she takes 4 to 5 30-45 minute naps - if she'll take them - that I offer whenever she starts yawning, looking glazed-eyed, or rubbing her eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3899/how-do-i-help-my-3-month-old-sleep-better-through-the-night&quot;&gt;This question's accepted answer&lt;/a&gt; suggests hunger as one possible cause.  My little girl is skyrocketing up the growth chart and eats every 1-2 hours during the day on demand.  I feed her 2-3 times at night, but not at every waking.  I sincerely doubt she's hungry, but I'm open to being wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby does have a pacifier, and popping it back in often soothes her back to sleep.  Would trying to wean her off of it at this early age perhaps help her learn to self-soothe, or would it just make sleep worse?  I am totally fine if she wants to suck on her fingers or thumb and get us all a little sleep, but so far every time she finds her thumb it does nothing to help her go back to sleep.  She's not really coordinated enough to keep it in her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could it be the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=4+month+sleep+regression&amp;amp;ie=utf-8&amp;amp;oe=utf-8&amp;amp;aq=t&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;amp;client=firefox-a&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;4 month sleep regression&lt;/a&gt; come to call early?  An early start of &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogginaboutbabies.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/wonder-week-19/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wonder Week 19&lt;/a&gt;?  Is there any solution other than to soldier through?  Is there an age-appropriate form of sleep training worth trying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2017-10-30T09:06:30.513" Title="Why is my 3 month old waking up 10+ times a night?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2012-06-08T00:23:02.523" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talking to your pediatrician is always a good idea for concerns like this.  That said, are you certain that your toddler is not understanding you?  We have a 21 mo boy and your description generally fits his behavior.  However, occasionally, he seems to clearly understand what we say.  But, he is selective in what he listens to and what he seems to ignore.  For example, 1/2 hour before bedtime, we were in a playroom and I told him &quot;lets go to bed&quot; and he very clearly said &quot;nah!&quot; (which is his way of saying &quot;no&quot;)  But, there were many other things I said to him where he didn't seem to react in any meaningful way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FWIW, our (21 mo) son knows how to say four words: &quot;no&quot;, &quot;yes&quot;, &quot;boots&quot;, and &quot;ball&quot; (but he has his own special way of saying each).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2593" LastActivityDate="2012-06-08T00:23:02.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5232" CreationDate="2012-06-08T00:41:41.440" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it possible that you gave up swaddling too early?  Or, that you jumped from full swaddling to no swaddling too quickly?  We swaddled both our kids to about 5 months.  I recall it being difficult to keep their arms from getting loose as they grew older---it required a large cloth and very snug folds.  Also, have you tried swaddling one arm and body or just the lower body?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2593" LastActivityDate="2012-06-08T00:41:41.440" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2012-06-08T02:02:32.680" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe at this age kids are supposed to understand simple commands. I would be concerned and bring it up with the pediatrician. If you are in US your state's Early Intervention program should be able to do evaluation and let you know if he needs help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2012-06-08T02:02:32.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5236" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5296" CreationDate="2012-06-08T16:36:55.407" Score="10" ViewCount="1347" Body="&lt;p&gt;My almost 2-year-old toddler enjoys falling on her knees (purposely) and then saying &quot;ouch&quot; with a big smile on her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't think much of it when she used to do it on a carpet, but now, she has started doing it on concrete/driveways/etc. This has resulted in some scraped knees and loud crying (but that doesn't seem to stop her). I am also generally concerned about the well being of her knees.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've asked her repeatedly to not do that (&quot;no Grace, Grace get an ouch&quot;) but she seems to associate &quot;ouch&quot; with a good thing. (I have no idea why.) We usually do not cuddle her after she hurts herself, but we did always say &quot;ouch!&quot; So we gave her attention. We started ignoring her when she hurts herself 6 months ago, but that doesn't seem to be changing her actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I get her to recognize that hurting herself...is not a good thing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-12T12:28:42.023" LastActivityDate="2019-04-12T12:28:42.023" Title="How to make a 2-year-old understand that hurting herself is not a good thing?" Tags="|toddler|safety|communication|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5237" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5239" CreationDate="2012-06-08T16:57:01.467" Score="29" ViewCount="382328" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two year old daughter has never been to a daycare, so everything she knows is something that me, my husband, or her grandparents have taught her. She sees very little interaction with other kids her age, well, except for her 8 month old sister. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering what people, or even day care centers, teach two year olds. What do they do all day long? Presently, our daughter draws a lot - she has bathtub crayons, wax crayons for paper, and chalk for the driveway/sidewalk. She attempts to draw circles and lines. We try to teach her shapes and colors, and she has a rough idea of what they are. She plays with sand in the sandbox a lot, dumping sand all over her and her sister's head. She goes to her playhouse and uses the slide and the swing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We sing songs together - the alphabet song or the numbers song. She is able to say the correct word when I say the phonic (i.e. if I say B, she'll say ball; if I say H, she'll say hat). She tries counting, but is still learning (she goes 1, 2, 6, 7, 8...). She enjoys building and destroying towers. We read books and I sing some nursery rhymes. She plays a toy piano and dances around to it. She plays with playdough, but most of the time it just ends up in crumbs everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also watches TV - something I know most parents object to. She enjoys watching Dora, Finding Nemo, and Cinderella. She will sometimes watch LeapFrog phonics videos for alphabet and numbers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not trying to give a resume for my daughter, but merely wondering is there something more that kids her age do? Is there something else that I should be teaching her? What do kids her age do at a daycare? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-08T17:16:08.847" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T12:02:28.157" Title="What should I be teaching my two year old?" Tags="|toddler|teaching|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5236" CreationDate="2012-06-08T17:00:12.633" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some children strongly associate with the cuddles they get after they hurt themselves, so you may find ignoring minor bumps and bruises helps here, so they don't get the sympathy they crave. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure if that is relevant in your case but I have seen it with some of my friends children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach, helped by having a wife who is a nurse, is to ignore them if they hurt themselves unless they look like something serious has happened. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bit harsh, but it means they laugh off small bumps and only come for sympathy when something is really bad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-06-08T17:00:12.633" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5237" CreationDate="2012-06-08T18:08:47.247" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;These are the things that the Montessori school our son attends looks for; note that these are not things you'd expect a two-year old to already be fully competent in, more that these are a good sample of the items that they measure in their report card:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;knowing directions (up, down, besides, in front of, behind, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;body parts (arm, elbow, wrist, eyes, ears, nose, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;counting (count to ten, count to ten with objects, determine number of objects in a pile, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shapes (square, triangle, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Colors (red, blue, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;following instructions (coloring inside the lines, coloring only the triangles) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Singing (they sing a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of songs)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things that he's learned that they don't explicitly focus on:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Climbing and physical activity.  They have a large playground for him and others to roam on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sharing.  Kids fight over things, and the teachers help them resolve those fights.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Injuries.  When the kids fall down, the teachers 90% of the time say &quot;You're fine, get up.&quot; rather than the motherly 'Gasp!  My baby, you've hurt yourself!&quot;  This really cuts down on the drama.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finishing tasks.  They have and keep a schedule.  I have two sisters-in-law who teach kindergarten and early elementary school, and they say that this is one of the big distinguishers between kids who go to (Montessori) preschool and those who don't.  Kids who don't get told to finish up never do, kids who do unsupervised learning often have a hard time integrating into a supervised learning environment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having friends. He knows lots of kids that he wouldn't otherwise know, and he interacts with them all the time.  That helps with a number of things, like peer pressure to go to the bathroom (&quot;I've got to go! Rider never uses a diaper!&quot;) to giving us weekend plans (&quot;I want to go to her birthday party!&quot;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're focusing a lot on the first set of explicit teaching directives (ie, knowing the basics of language, colors, etc), but not necessarily giving her access to other kids to learn how to socialize with equals and how to function in the classroom.  Is that important?  I don't know; I do suspect that going to preschool for a few hours a week will help ease her into kindergarten and beyond, but it may be that your daughter is particularly adaptable to new situations and the change won't be so dramatic for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-01-28T12:02:28.157" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T12:02:28.157" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5232" CreationDate="2012-06-08T18:37:16.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Is there an age-appropriate form of sleep training worth trying?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading your question, the first thing that came to my mind was that it might help to &lt;strong&gt;introduce a stricter rhythm&lt;/strong&gt; to the day - in the hope that it might help your nights as well:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention that she feeds every 1-2 hours &lt;em&gt;on demand.&lt;/em&gt; You might want to try switching from demand to supply. It worked wonders on our then-infant when we introduced a rather fixed 3-hour schedule of sleep&amp;rarr;eat&amp;rarr;awake *) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The  baby was a lot happier when awake, and the sleep phases (day &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; night) got better - some of those 3-hour cycles just merged into one 6-hour cycle at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You normally can't postpone the baby just because the schedule says so. But &lt;strong&gt;flip it around:&lt;/strong&gt; if the schedule says it's feeding time, then offer it and it will very likely be accepted. When it's sleeping time, go through &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/468/what-are-some-dos-and-donts-for-an-effective-bedtime-ritual&quot;&gt;your sleep ritual&lt;/a&gt; and perhaps she will accept the bedtime as well (otherwise you've at least trained it, and repetition brings success eventually). If her rhythm is set on 45 minutes then start your schedule on that rhythm, and add some minutes every day until the rhythm is longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*) &lt;strike&gt;Or was it sleep&amp;rarr;eat&amp;rarr;awake? I tried searching for older answers but didn't find an obvious hit.&lt;/strike&gt; I'm told this is the better sequence, but go with whatever floats your boat.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-06-09T10:17:44.670" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5232" CreationDate="2012-06-08T18:44:39.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Completely unrelated to my other answer: When you don't swaddle anymore, &lt;strong&gt;what is she wearing at night?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When swaddling doesn't work, I recommend trying a &lt;strong&gt;baby sleeping bag.&lt;/strong&gt; My son never let himself be swaddled, right from day 1. So we started out with a sleeping bag and he used it for more than 2 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big advantage of a baby sleeping bag is that it's a cover, like a blanket, but one that stays on the child &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; away from the face at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get pretty wide baby sleeping bags, or pretty narrow ones, depending on how much wiggle room she likes best. You have to shop around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-06-08T18:44:39.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5244" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-10T07:54:23.880" Score="3" ViewCount="1362" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it safe to do sit-ups or stomach crunches in the early stages of pregnancy? When should you stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2690" LastEditorUserId="2690" LastEditDate="2012-06-10T08:07:05.190" LastActivityDate="2012-06-13T16:47:39.527" Title="Stomach crunches in the early stages of pregnancy?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|sports|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5245" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-10T08:06:14.473" Score="6" ViewCount="12414" Body="&lt;p&gt;A useful answer might be a comprehensive lists of cheeses which are ok, and of those which are not (are any of them ok in smaller quantities?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively is there a sure way of telling if a cheese will be acceptable when you're pregnant once it has turned up at the dinner table?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2690" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T22:53:20.650" Title="What cheeses are ok for pregnant women to eat?" Tags="|health|food|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5245" CreationDate="2012-06-10T08:44:15.967" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The usual rule is that pasteurised, hard cheeses (such as Cheddar, Red Leicester etc) are safe, but you should avoid soft cheeses (such as Brie) and avoid all unpasteurised cheeses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pasteurisation kills off pretty much everything in a milk product, but soft cheeses can become a breeding ground for bacteria and dangerous moulds very rapidly, whereas hard cheeses are safe for a much longer time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A comprehensive list isn't really possible, as there are dairies offering unpasteurised versions of many cheeses, but stick to hard cheeses only and even then avoid ones with any mould, even if they are supposed to be a mouldy cheese.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-06-10T08:44:15.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5244" CreationDate="2012-06-10T08:48:54.663" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be safe all the way through pregnancy (albeit more and more difficult towards the end)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife asked the doctor this when we discovered she was pregnant with our first, as she was then doing upwards of 400 sit-ups every evening, and the comment back was that it was much better to be doing that than not exercising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The comment was just to avoid doing it if it hurt, and when she was much bigger she found that full crunches were just not possible any more, so had to settle for a month of gentle crunches. The doctor also said to just be aware of joints loosening towards the end of pregnancy and to take care not to do twisting sit ups at that pont - but they weren't possible then anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-06-10T08:48:54.663" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5248" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-11T09:29:45.497" Score="1" ViewCount="552" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can anyone suggest what factors to look for in iPad apps for learning to read (English,  native) at second grade level ? What are the recommended ways to locate such apps ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main factor that I consider important is that it should be as fun as possible - not just a fancy e-book. My son is in the first grade, but he has progressed to mid 2nd grade level. He will be away with my wife and her family for a couple of months this summer and will have missed 3 weeks of school when they come back. Getting him to read books at home has not been easy and he loves to play games on the iPad (when allowed, which isn't often) so some kind of fun game, that is focused on improving reading, is what I'm looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2545" LastEditorUserId="2545" LastEditDate="2012-06-11T12:36:02.877" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T11:47:08.400" Title="What factors make iPad apps a good choice for second-graders?" Tags="|reading|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5237" CreationDate="2012-06-11T13:16:43.717" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;mmr is right, life skills are as important as academic skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also started a &quot;word wall&quot; around age 2 or 3 -- depending on the child's interest -- so they could start to recognize some sight words. We did simple things -- their name, &quot;mommy,&quot; etc. -- and worked our way through the Dolch Word Lists (which are available online, e.g., &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mrsperkins.com/dolch.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mrsperkins.com/dolch.htm&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-06-11T13:16:43.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5248" CreationDate="2012-06-11T14:03:37.447" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try text-based adventure games:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first interactions on a computer was with a few &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.retrogamer.net/show_image.php?imageID=4312&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;text-based adventure games&lt;/a&gt; where my brother and I would have to read a paragraph and then type out some simple commands (&lt;em&gt;&quot;look floor&quot;)&lt;/em&gt; to get the next hint. Because English was not any of our primary languages, we spent a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of time with a dictionary as well. Graphical adventure games (&lt;em&gt;ooh, colors!&lt;/em&gt;) came later and still required a lot of reading and typing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The entertainment factor of the game provided plenty of motivation to get over the hurdles of reading, understanding, interpreting, and trying solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With this background, my first thought would be to &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=ipad%20adventure%20game&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;google &lt;code&gt;ipad adventure game&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/a&gt; and look for games that are suitable to the age range. many of the highest-rated results were actually top-10 lists with many promising titles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I'd look through those titles and &lt;strong&gt;consider these factors:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does the game require reading?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Obviously you will want to choose games that have &lt;strong&gt;written&lt;/strong&gt; output (see a random example below) so you should avoid games that have spoken output. &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/qVpHF.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How much reading is involved?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You will want to pick a game that has &lt;a href=&quot;http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b241/ATMachine/SQ1VGA/sq1shotsega8.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;lots of text&lt;/a&gt; and not just the occasional word thrown in. For your purpose, the text needs to be the central carrier of the story - like a comic book. (Hey, there's another idea: comic e-books?)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/EAK9g.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does the game require typing?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Depending on the challenge you want to present, a game requiring commands to be typed can be a great way to improve typing and thesaurus skills -- but perhaps games based on typed input are past era now?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Many games have a &lt;em&gt;point-and-click&lt;/em&gt; interface meaning that you can press a command from an on-screen list and then press the on-screen object you want to use with that command. &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/JJ49X.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Who is the intended audience?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Some games are made for kids, some for teens, and some are decidedly &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.intomobile.com/2011/01/15/leisure-suit-larry-iphone-ipad/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;adult&lt;/a&gt;. Make sure to check the description, and try the game yourself before you let Junior play.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have an iPad so I don't really know what's &quot;out there&quot; but I'm sure that there's plenty to choose from - Lego Duplo, Smurfs, Marvel, and much more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-06-11T15:44:32.047" LastActivityDate="2012-06-11T15:44:32.047" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5237" CreationDate="2012-06-11T21:45:32.940" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brookings.edu/up-front/posts/2010/01/21-head-start-whitehurst&quot;&gt;jury is still out&lt;/a&gt; on whether developmentally oriented activities prior to kindergarten have a long term impact.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO day care is over-rated as a teaching/learning environment. The high-end preschools do the activities and have curricula primarily to assuage the guilt parents feel at leaving the kids there all day. But really, it is just babysitting. It is far better to have the kid cared for by people who love it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer the question directly ...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Unless there are close siblings, your kid should get some involvement with other kids a couple of times a week, at a playground, in a co-op nursery, a baby-sitting exchange with some other moms.  The kid needs to learn to share and interact with others.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Activities with the child should be developmental in nature.  Lose the video interaction (TV/DVD/video games). Talk to your child, listen to your child, get out of the house with your child, go to parks and museums with your child, read to your child, give your child expressive and artistic toys and tools.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In a year or so start emphasizing counting and quantities and arithmetic. Count things as you walk or drive. Have the kid help with dinner and show measuring and counting. Play games that work on counting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start with chores and responsibilities, perhaps with a chart.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-06-11T21:45:32.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5248" CreationDate="2012-06-12T02:38:10.693" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, rather, interactive book apps. There are several books in the app store (rather than the iBook/iTunes store). It's not technically a game, but more of a game than your average book would be, so perhaps something that would get their attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, possibly, just standard iBooks. Just being able to read them on the iPad might make them interesting enough for your 2nd grader.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, though, he'll eventually find some actually book series he likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T02:38:10.693" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2012-06-12T06:05:26.647" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not speaking with 22 months is late, but not exceptionally rare. You should talk to your GP about your concerns and consider having an assessment by a speech pathologist. Speech pathologists can evaluate your child's language skills and advise on techniques you can use to encourage speech development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="548" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T06:05:26.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5255" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5268" CreationDate="2012-06-12T07:18:43.087" Score="19" ViewCount="2592" Body="&lt;p&gt;Occasionally I come across an article describing that parents read to their kids. I like that, but I am not sure how and when to start doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, this question is not really about my son, it's about me. I want to start this cozy habit but feel that he's not interested (yet). &lt;strong&gt;How could we ease into a short daily reading time?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My situation is that my son (now 2½) is incredibly active and won't sit still even for three minutes (unless it's for watching Barbapapa on mommy's Youtube). For now it looks like our son will become an athlete rather than a scholar, and we're fine whatever it will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Small update: &quot;Scholar&quot; is not my goal. &quot;Cozy&quot; and &quot;reading&quot; are my goals.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-06-12T12:58:47.107" LastActivityDate="2017-01-22T20:25:39.663" Title="How to begin reading to an active toddler?" Tags="|toddler|reading|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5255" CreationDate="2012-06-12T13:20:42.513" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The easiest answer is to start early.  If you start reading regularly to your child while they're an infant, and continue the practice as they get older, it should be a seamless transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you start later, it becomes a bit more difficult, particularly if regular television viewing becomes part of the routine, as a child used to fast-paced, brightly colored images on a TV screen may find the images in a book, and the &quot;pay-off&quot; of having it read to them, a bit slow-paced and dull by comparison.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best strategies involve subject matter, timing, and delivery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the big advantages of books is that it is very easy to find something tailored to your child's interests.  Most kids have one or more topics that they really enjoy.  These can fluctuate pretty often, depending on the kid, but I've noticed that borderline &quot;obsession&quot; with specific topics is common.  Whether it is cars, dinosaurs, Star Wars, animals, tractors, trains, dolls, or (one of my favorites) &quot;evil princesses&quot;, most kids have some topics that instantly get their attention.  All you have to do is pick books that match your child's interests.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really can't find any books that match your child's interests, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/329/420&quot;&gt;write your own&lt;/a&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be sure not to pick stories that are too long or slow-paced, though, at least at first.  If the book you found that is on an interesting topic, plan on reading only part of it, and find a stopping point before you think your child will lose interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can help keep a child interested in reading if you establish it as part of a routine.  The best time to read is often when the child is winding down, either after a meal, or right before going to sleep. Reading a book is a good way to segue into a nap or bedtime.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The final part is delivery.  Get silly.  Make funny noises as sound effects.  Give each character a unique voice.  Have any animals make noises.  They don't have to be accurate imitations; my son still enjoys hearing me make &quot;giraffe noises&quot; (inspired by &lt;em&gt;South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut&lt;/em&gt;; and no, my son has not watched that movie!).  Feel free to interrupt the story line with sidebar conversations if you think it will interest or amuse your child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sometimes detour from the story to relate the contents of the story to recent events my son experienced (e.g. if the character in the book sees their grandmother, I may say &quot;that's just like when you saw Grandma this morning! Remember?&quot; or &quot;Curious George is a monkey, just like the ones you saw at the zoo yesterday.  Remember the monkeys, and the baby orangutan that you saw playing?  Wasn't that fun!&quot;).  Sometimes I add in my own editorial comments, or even new plots or stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; have fun with it, too.  The more you enjoy telling stories, the more your son will enjoy you telling them to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T14:13:34.187" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5258" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5276" CreationDate="2012-06-12T15:38:30.823" Score="7" ViewCount="2008" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a digital oral/rectal thermometer, but is difficult for our toddler to be still long enough to get an accurate reading (sometimes it seems to to take several minutes before hearing the confirmation beep). We have another baby on the way and would like to get a better instrument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a thermometer that can accurately and quickly indicate the temp of a baby and toddler?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="744" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T17:53:18.717" Title="Thermometer for babies and children" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5259" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5303" CreationDate="2012-06-12T15:40:45.657" Score="1" ViewCount="200" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering if anyone has experience with Craniosynostosis? Specifically I'm looking for help explaining and preparing my other children for this surgery.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2694" LastActivityDate="2012-06-16T14:49:30.147" Title="Experience with Craniosynostosis?" Tags="|infant|health|education|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5260" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5262" CreationDate="2012-06-12T16:11:04.570" Score="10" ViewCount="913" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old is constantly asking me, why is that person not being safe? or why did that person do that?, why did my friend say that?...&#xA;I try to tell her my best guess or I say I can't read other people minds.  Neither is getting her to stop asking these types of questions.&#xA;Any suggestions on this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-06-12T18:27:05.220" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T13:45:19.787" Title="My daughter wants me to read other's minds" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5258" CreationDate="2012-06-12T17:59:33.910" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We purchased &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001FWXKMM&quot;&gt;Braun Thermoscan Ear Thermometer with ExacTemp Technology&lt;/a&gt; when our second one came along. This thermometer is pretty fast, and I usually have the temperature before my toddler figures out what is going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T17:59:33.910" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5260" CreationDate="2012-06-12T18:22:14.150" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;Encourage her! Ask her, &lt;strong&gt;What do you think is the reason?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's a sign of excellent perception that she realizes that other people do things that she would not do, or that she would do differently. She is trying to understand her world, and she wants your help to make her able to &quot;read others' minds&quot; (make her understand their way of thought).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her think aloud. Let her explain to you why she's puzzled. Together you can invent some explanations and discuss why explanation X is silly and explanation Y sounds plausible. It will give &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; a window into &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T18:22:14.150" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5258" CreationDate="2012-06-12T18:39:28.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We also bought a contactless ear-and-forehead thermometer, but its results vary with nearly 1½ degrees Celsius, making it essentially useless. The digital rectal thermometer consistently provides exact (=believable) results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have discussed investing in a much more expensive ear thermometer but I'm not convinced it would be trustworthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strike&gt;Only the medical-grade devices are really good, but they of course cost 15 times that of household equipment.&lt;/strike&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask your local pharmacy for specific product recommendations.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-06-12T18:51:57.003" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T18:51:57.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5258" CreationDate="2012-06-12T18:40:11.437" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have one of those thermometers that you brush across the forehead, and it's fantastic. The kids think it's neat, it only takes a couple of seconds, it could be used if they were asleep, and it's so easy that you can take several readings and compare them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think they are properly called &quot;temporal artery thermometers&quot; and this is one which looks like what we have (though no endorsement express or implied, etc., etc.): &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.exergen.com/medical/TAT/tatconsumerpage.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.exergen.com/medical/TAT/tatconsumerpage.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T18:40:11.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5260" CreationDate="2012-06-12T18:41:52.387" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of it is normal exploring of boundaries: if you tell her something is wrong/dangerous, she wants to know why other people are doing it. In other words, why don't they respect the same boundaries that you have set for her? (My kids especially do this when they see someone smoking!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T18:41:52.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5260" CreationDate="2012-06-12T19:25:20.757" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answer the questions to the best of your ability. Model empathy. Guess what the people are thinking. Explain &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they might be doing something that is against your family's values. Use it as a teachable moment. Reflect the question back at your daughter. Get her to guess first and compare your guesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is only through experience and practice that a person can understand the mind of others. Help your daughter gain those experiences and chances to practice and she will begin to ask those questions less often. When she's 13 or so. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose this is an anti-answer. Sorry. I suggest you encourage those types of questions as long as possible to avoid diminishing her curiosity. When she is curious enough to ask a question, avoid sending her a signal that will make her feel she is wrong to be curious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T19:25:20.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5232" CreationDate="2012-06-12T22:27:32.767" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a bedtime routine and followed a 3 hour cycle for my infant (at the time newborn). He slept a good 5 hour stretch, would nurse, and continue sleeping for another 2-3 hours. We did hit a road block around 8 weeks. We had stopped swaddling him for the same reasons you listed above. I know the importance of swaddling for the developing neurological system, however, I could not sleep thinking he would cover his face and not breathe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By week 10, things were not improving. I think they got worse. I used a bassinet that was slightly inclined and when you place your newborn/infant in it they &quot;sink&quot; (for lack of a better word) and are swaddled in a &quot;fetal position&quot;. That allowed him to have longer naps during the day (not the 30 minute power naps he was having) and helped instantly his night time sleep. He went back to his old schedule and quickly began 8-10 hour stretches. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think he became overtired. But looking back, in my experience, the starting problem was the lack of swaddling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an occupational therapist, I know that the nervous system is immature those first 12 weeks and one of the ways it does mature is through the deep input a newborn gets with  swaddling. (Like you said, I preferred to eliminate the risk of suffocating) but I found that that particular bassinet provided the same kind of input swaddling in a blanket would provide. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps. I can't stress enough that giving him that input helped instantly with night time and day time naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1613" LastActivityDate="2012-06-12T22:27:32.767" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5255" CreationDate="2012-06-13T12:01:23.753" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whilst it helps to start early, it's never too late to start a habit :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also have a very active toddler and the following helps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;establish a routine: for example I read to my kids for about 10 minutes just before bedtime, every single day. They know it and expect it (big drama if we try to skip it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get him to pick the book he wants: at read-time, i ask my daughters to go and get a book, they're totally free to choose the ones they want (and yes, i often end up reading the same book everynight for two weeks...). Let him turn the pages at his own pace (fast or slow) or just get him to look at one page and tell him the story that's happening there. It's about getting him actively involved and engaged.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't worry too much about the story: focus on the bits that grab his interest, the pictures he likes, make noises and ask him to tell you what he sees&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get cozy: I read to my kids on our big bed, so it's soft and comfortable and sets a more quiet tone for the activity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you have other kids, and one of them likes reading, then make it a joint activity: toddlers often like to emulate others. Same thing if he goes to day care or play dates, it will also helps if he sees other kids listening to story time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1408" LastActivityDate="2012-06-13T12:01:23.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5244" CreationDate="2012-06-13T16:47:39.527" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lady at the gym I use worked out regularly throughout her pregnancy, including situps/crunches/leg lifts.  I asked her about it and she said her doctor told her no worries, just pay attention and avoid exercises that hurt differently than before pregnancy. She stopped running because it became uncomfortable but walked and used an elliptical machine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She had her baby a few weeks ago and just came back this morning.  She looks great. Apparently, her labor went less than an hour, which she attributes to being fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2012-06-13T16:47:39.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5230" CreationDate="2012-06-13T19:41:55.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard/been told that you should try for a year if you and your partner are under age 30 and healthy and it's your first child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you or your partner are over 30 then the recommendation is six months because you are at a greater chance of having fertility issues.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I'm pretty sure different ob/gyns are going to say different things.  No matter which way you cut it, your first visit to discuss fertility issues is going to probably be to your regular gyno who will probably run some tests before determining if it's an issue he/she can handle or if you should see a fertility specialist.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, like mentioned by others, personal stress seems to be the biggest contributing factor.  My best friend and her husband tried for over a year, had some fertility treatments done, and nothing was working.  She called me in March and said they were just going to take a break and enjoy their time together, and a month later she called to tell me she was pregnant.  They now have two little girls (two pregnancies--not twins).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-06-13T19:41:55.643" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2012-06-13T23:26:28.250" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;After some unhappy struggles, mostly ending in him lying pinned in my lap while I forcibly brushed them :-(  I realised it was too stressful for us both and so tried putting some toothpaste on his and my brushes, giving him my toothbrush to do my teeth whilst brushing his.  It worked like magic.  He is too busy brushing mine to complain and at the same time seeing exactly what I am doing to his teeth.  I like the ideas about the mirror and the dentist game, I will try them if we get resistance again!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2702" LastActivityDate="2012-06-13T23:26:28.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5255" CreationDate="2012-06-13T23:44:49.267" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the excellent suggestions above (reading before bedtime is a tradition in our house), I'd recommend some action books for daytime play.  Then he won't have to sit still!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have &lt;em&gt;If You're Happy and You Know It&lt;/em&gt;, which has lots of movements that my sons can do while I hold up the book and sing.  &lt;em&gt;Itsy-Bitsy Spider&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Old MacDonald&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Wheels on the Bus&lt;/em&gt; and some other children's songs can also be found in book form.  &lt;em&gt;Barnyard Dance&lt;/em&gt; by Sandra Boynton is a favorite with us as well; it involves calling dance moves, so it is really fun, especially for two or more children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The familiar songs make the text more accessible, and making a game out of reading this way helps form positive associations with books.  Also, it seems like this interaction would be particularly compatible with your son's activity level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-06-13T23:44:49.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5274" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5293" CreationDate="2012-06-14T03:09:41.450" Score="11" ViewCount="1864" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find a lot of parents take their baby to get baby massages. I have heard that babies who receive periodic baby massages (such as once a week) are showing rapid development in their motor skills and emotional development. Is that true? Are there any good references to support this claim? Are the massage techniques something we can perform at home on our own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-04-07T12:18:43.447" LastActivityDate="2019-04-07T12:18:43.447" Title="Do baby massages improve motor skills and emotional development?" Tags="|infant|research|fine-motor-skills|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5274" CreationDate="2012-06-14T13:59:49.193" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if there's scientific evidence about developmental benefits but it's a certainly good bonding opportunity for you to do at home.  I wouldn't take my baby to somebody else and pay them to massage my baby... this is not a burdensome chore or a highly skilled activity.  Google &quot;baby massage techniques&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="835" LastActivityDate="2012-06-14T13:59:49.193" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5258" CreationDate="2012-06-14T20:24:54.370" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your thermometer takes 60-90 seconds, it's definitely time to consider a new thermometer! There is a wide variation in times that oral/rectal thermometers take to read. You can get &lt;strong&gt;quick read oral/rectal digital thermometers&lt;/strong&gt; that will read the temperature in as little as 8 seconds. Old fashioned mercury ones are quite slow comparatively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics official stance is that &lt;strong&gt;rectal temperature is the most accurate&lt;/strong&gt; for children under three, so it is a good idea to have a quick read thermometer for only rectal use for those times when you are concerned about &quot;is that fever high enough I should take my child to the emergency room&quot;. Quick read will be really helpful compared to your slow-read one when you're trying to pin them still enough to get a reading at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the rest of the time for screening purposes, &lt;strong&gt;before getting out the rectal thermometer, using a thermometer that is more pleasant/faster/etc may be preferable&lt;/strong&gt;, and (because of cross-contaminaton) you should never use the same thermometer for both oral and rectal temperatures anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a screening thermometer, there are many choices in addition to a quick read digital thermometer. There are temporal artery thermometers that you swipe across the forehead that read the temperature in about 6 seconds, and ear thermometers that read the temperature in about 3 seconds, as well as slow but more accurate &lt;strong&gt;pacifier thermometers&lt;/strong&gt; for babies that read in about 90 seconds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ear thermometers&lt;/strong&gt; do have to positioned facing the right direction to work, and may give false highs if your child has an ear infection, but are so fast and easy you can take the temperature several times should you be concerned you might not have positioned it right, and are apparently accurate enough that even our usual urgent care facility prefers to take their screening temperatures using the ear thermometer. Used correctly they're usually consistent, but may vary per operator. We like our ear thermometer, but some models are also less good for babies under three months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Temporal Artery/Forehead Thermometer&lt;/strong&gt; - Non-invasive, can be done even while baby is sleeping, fairly quick. But they're generally expensive. And they're less likely to be accurate or consistent than an oral/rectal temperature. Slightly slower than an ear thermometer, but the low invasiveness level may make it more tolerable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Armpit thermometer&lt;/strong&gt; - Many oral/rectal thermometers can also take armpit temperatures. But it is less accurate again as a measuring technique. But for screening purposes, it is an option that can be considered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in short, there are many choices, but the first priority to have on hand should be a quick-reading rectal thermometer, however, if you can afford multiple thermometers, you may want a second quick-reading thermometer that is a more pleasant to use, despite its lower accuracy. The price varies significantly between types and brands of thermometers, and price is not a guarantee of accuracy. Consumer reports has done tests to determine which specific brand(s) are most accurate/fastest/easiest/etc. however, one must be a subscriber to see the results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-06-14T20:24:54.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5052" CreationDate="2012-06-15T00:51:58.750" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter went through phases where she was constantly at the breast. This constant nibbling has a purpose: it boosts the mother's production, bringing in more milk to fuel a baby's growth spurt. Common wisdom says that those occur at about 6 days, 3 weeks and 3 months, but apparently my daughter was unaware of that schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found it useful to make myself as comfortable and entertained as possible. A comfortable chair, a fresh glass of water and some healthy snacks, a tablet PC or iPod connected to Netflix and loaded with easy entertainment, and a partner on diaper and dishes duty can make the whole experience enjoyable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the laid back breastfeeding method proved very comfortable for me (http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/pages/recipe.html). It allowed me to cuddle baby for hours while reading a good book, or simply resting, and letting her latch on and off at will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a few months, when you're baby nurses in five minutes and then demands constant excitement and attention from you, you 'll be missing those quiet early nursing sessions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2707" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T00:51:58.750" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5199" CreationDate="2012-06-15T01:21:37.640" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you child is not keen on swimming lessons, especially the head under the water thing, ditch the classes for a while. The thing is to keep the regular swimming going by either playing with them yourself. I worked hard to get my four year old to enjoy a small dunking or two, mostly I did this by play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a kid who is going to school or has friends, it can be really good going to swim as a group. Kids are sensitive to the social group and will learn that thier friends expect them to be able to do the same things they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he has shown an interest in playing outside the class, you can then approach him about taking lesson so he can get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, put him in a position where he is keen to be in the water and play. You can let the formal lesson slide for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T01:21:37.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5227" CreationDate="2012-06-15T01:25:30.800" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is absolutely safe. At age 5 and 6, the kids are old enough to make a fuss if they are not ok. Keep water with them and they will drink as they are required. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried they will not drink enough, give them a packet of chips for the ride and the salt will sure get them drinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T01:25:30.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5230" CreationDate="2012-06-15T01:39:15.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an indirect answer, but one thing to try before going to the fertility doctor (and something they might recommend) is trying a fertility monitor. My wife and I tried for almost a year before using the Clearblue Easy monitor, and got pregnant by the second month. They aren't cheap, but neither is raising a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our device has been lent out to a number of friends and has currently helped bring 9 children into this world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try that, and if that doesn't work after 3 months or so, try the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2711" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T01:39:15.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2012-06-15T01:54:28.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yeah, that schedule is an excellent way of making sure you get enough sleep. Not having any screen time 2 hours before be also means you will not be exciting your brain (both from the contents of games and the fact the light stimulates the brain) just before sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it stifling for an 18 year old (adult!). Hell yeah. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thoroughly recommend leaving home, you can do all the stuff your parents told you not to do and learn exactly why they told you not do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may take a little while to find a good place to go flatting or whatever, but be patient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T01:54:28.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5258" CreationDate="2012-06-15T02:02:57.007" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't stress over getting to accurate a reading. at the end of the day, the actual temperature of the child does not matter that much. What you really need for diagnosis is an indication of whether or not they running a temperature. The exact degree of the temperature does not give an further information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that temperature is not the only indicator useful in determining what action is required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned, I can recommend talking to your doctor about the heuristics they use for diagnosing issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T02:02:57.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5274" CreationDate="2012-06-15T02:40:44.577" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't take your babies to a massage therapist. Just sit back and think of how smart you are in not being taken advantage of by a bunch of shysters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are studies that indicate that touch between the parents and the baby improves the babies emotional development. But it is hardly ground breaking stuff to show that a fish needs water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good heuristic is to evaluate such things in terms of opportunity/cost. I.e.&#xA;what benefits could a baby possible get in that half hour massage + 15 min each way travel times that I could not beat by dedicating an hour to playing with my baby myself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very hard to beat an hours dedicated attention from a loving parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T02:40:44.577" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5274" CreationDate="2012-06-15T05:55:42.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The important thing is not spending time with baby through massage but the massage itself is important for baby's motor skills development. Spending time with baby is of-course important and there are many different ways for this. But that is a separate topic, it should not be intermingled with massage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In India it is a regular practice to give massage to the baby before giving him/her a bath. There are maids specializing in this technique and they are regularly appointed by families having a new baby. The massage is done with special baby oil or olive oil. After the massage and bath the baby is hungry, it is fed and put to sleep. This helps in overall growth of limbs and the whole body. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The new mom is also given massage for 2 months or so. The baby's massage continues till almost a year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2724" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T05:55:42.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="916" CreationDate="2012-06-15T06:02:21.020" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than motor skills day care helps in improving independence, taking care of oneself and sharing, adjusting qualities. Since they have to share toys, they have to adjust to the other kids and they have to spend a large time of day without mom / grandparents who constantly fulfil their wishes, the qualities mentioned above improve. Also may improve their verbal skills since they get lot of children around to practice talking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2724" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T06:02:21.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2012-06-15T07:47:40.967" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having your teeth brushed by someone else isn't nice.  It's invasive.  Realizing that much is a good start. The right brushes, being aware of when and where your child is teething and gentleness all help, but it's unlikely to ever be an entirely enjoyable process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The usual combination of patience, consistency and self control comes into play too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting around this normally boils down to finding some way &quot;make it fun&quot; - in some way that capture's your child's imagination.  For us, we had a few different soft toys who would &quot;brush&quot; my daughter's teeth, and she would choose a different one each night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2730" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T07:47:40.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5287" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5289" CreationDate="2012-06-15T10:02:06.067" Score="22" ViewCount="8180" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been reading about star charts and other reward systems for children, and wonder whether rewarding what I would call normal behaviour (e.g. do your chores, don't hit your little brother, etc) is not counter-productive in the long-run. If children are raised on the premise that they should get something every time they do something that is really part of their daily normal routine, won't they carry this type of expectations into adulthood? Is it better to limit rewards to behaviour that exceeds expectations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note : I guess this question may trigger opinions rather than answers so looking to the community to provide guidance and perhaps reword the question differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1408" LastEditorUserId="1408" LastEditDate="2012-06-15T11:17:50.447" LastActivityDate="2016-12-20T16:29:37.337" Title="Why should children be rewarded for good behaviour?" Tags="|behavior|reward|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2012-06-15T11:55:59.777" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was watching The Two Towers one day, while my daughter was watching a princess movie in the other room.  She wandered in and started watching The Two Towers with me.  There were some orcs on the screen, and it struck me.  &quot;Addison, see those guys?  They're called orcs.  See their teeth?  They're yucky aren't they?  That's what happens when you don't brush your teeth.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't had too much of a problem since then, and she occasionally attempts to explain to her little brother that his teeth will look like an orc's if he doesn't let us brush them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Luckily, she didn't have nightmares about said orcs either)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2742" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T11:55:59.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2012-06-15T12:00:11.003" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;They should be rewarded for good behavior in the process of learning the good behavior. Then after a while when the child understands that the &quot;good behavior task&quot; is expected, you can gradually stop rewarding for that behavior. It is important that this kind of rewarding is just praising, and not giving gifts like toys or treats as rewarding. I don't consider star charts as gifts, because this is more symbolic action that is a more of a practical praise method than just telling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While doing this, you must at the same time make sure they understand that it is the way to behave, and take discipline action if they don't behave as expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it better to limit rewards to behaviour that exceeds expectations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, but when you think about it, behavior that we normally expect to be the normal behavior, will always have to be learned by the children. Until the child have learned it, it is not understood to be expected from the child's point of view, and praise needs to be given when doing things that has not yet become a natural part of what the child understands to be expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastEditorUserId="1686" LastEditDate="2012-06-15T12:10:05.407" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T12:10:05.407" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2012-06-15T12:14:08.547" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rewarding good behavior has its place, but as I mention in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1553/420&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;, I believe that children should not be generally rewarded for meeting basic expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use positive feedback as a crude form of reward for my 21-month-old son; cheering and clapping when he does what we ask him to do.  However, we don't bribe him with incentives (no &quot;if you pick up your toys, you can have a cookie&quot;, etc.), and as he gets older we plan to simply communicate our basic expectations, and enforce them without a reward system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We still haven't decided on what route we'll go as far as money/allowance/etc., but I'm leaning towards a system that rewards exceptional performance, as opposed to meeting basic expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I mentioned in comments to that other answer, I believe it is a parent's job to teach children the lessons they need in order to be a good adult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offering children rewards for completing chores and basic tasks teaches them that they should &lt;A HREF=&quot;http://www.happychild.com.au/blogs/yvettevignando/2010/09/08/parents-should-not-pay-children-for-chores-my-opinionated-opinion&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;expect&lt;/a&gt; rewards, and that tasks or chores that don't result in a rewards are not worth doing.  It leads to a sense of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dunwoodypsychologists.com/Articles/raising_responsible_versus_entitled_children.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;entitlement&lt;/a&gt;, which leads to frustration and disappointment later in life when they learn that that is not how the world really works.  Yes, they will get &quot;rewarded&quot; for doing their job later in life with pay, but more and more people seem to believe that getting paid for their job only requires them to do the minimum required by their job description, which is not a healthy attitude in a competitive marketplace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T12:14:08.547" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2385" CreationDate="2012-06-15T12:24:46.350" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was 3 months old, he started &quot;sleeping through the night&quot; at stretches of 8-12 hours at a time. He would not wake up to feed anymore, and I asked my ped about it because he was eating every 2-3 hours when awake. My ped said that was fine, he was &quot;making up&quot; for the long stretch at night by eating frequently during his waking hours. Now, at 8 months, he sleeps 10-12 hours at night and has tapered off to eating about every 4 hours (we are starting to work on solid foods). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might just be his schedule. I would not be concerned, but like others suggested, if you are concerned you should talk to your ped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2744" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T12:24:46.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2012-06-15T13:01:12.957" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're right you shouldn't reward for expected behavior but I've found when things need to get done if I ask and it's done right the first time I'll give something.  Generally my rewards are with praise and appreciation.  And then we talk about responsibility and such.  I do give an allowance for getting their work done (basic chores) at the end of each week.  It's teaching them responsibility and how to work for their money.  They get a certain amount each day if they complete their assigned tasks which continue to increase as time goes on.  My son (7) has started budgeting his money and thinking about what things he can buy and what things he can't.  He got a wallet from his grandma to keep his money in so it's been working great for him as he knows how much he can spend and if he doesn't have enough he has to save for it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are times I'll use bribes in order to get things done but I've made it very clear that you don't get what you want all the time. At first it was difficult not giving in but if your strong and stick to your guns the kids will learn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another great thing I've found is sports and scounts.  My son is in all the youth sports and it's teaching alot about winning and losing and getting what you want.  sometimes he gets a medal and/or trophy. Other times he doesn't.  It's a hard lesson especially when his friends on other teams are getting them and he's not. We had the scout pine wood derby and my son didn't get a trophy but his best friend did. That was hard for him and we talked through it.  It was a great lesson for him.  You're not always going to get a reward or prize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alot of this depends on the age too.  My daughter is a little more difficult, because she's younger (4).  She of course wants everything her big bother wants so we work hard to make her understand that you can't always have what others have and you have to work hard for what you want.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As stated earlier: If you do reward for good behavior then yes you really should start to reduce that reward and eventually eliminate it because it could have adverse affects later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2745" LastEditorUserId="1686" LastEditDate="2012-06-18T12:32:52.113" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T12:32:52.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5274" CreationDate="2012-06-15T13:02:42.757" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regarding your specific questions (motor skills and emotional development): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only evidence I could find that supported the idea of an improvement in motor skills were studies that showed an increase in weight for premature babies that received therapeutic massage versus premature babies who did not receive therapeutic massage.  There were repeated claims of peer-reviewed studies that demonstrate a wider range of benefits related to motor skills, but I could not find direct references to those studies (the specific claims are summarized below).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There does seem to be compelling evidence in favor of baby massage in terms of improving maternal-child relationship, particularly in regards to cases of maternal depression, and evidence in support of an overall reduction in stress and cortisol levels, suggesting indirect benefits for emotional development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is considerable research on the topic of baby massage.  Much of it seems focused on premature babies, but in general, the claims from &lt;a href=&quot;http://portsmouthhospital.com/your-health/condition_detail.dot?id=14351&quot;&gt;peer-reviewed studies and journals include&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Strengthened immune system&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Improved muscle tone&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Enhanced development of the nervous system&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Increased circulation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Improved sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Reduced symptoms of gassiness, colic, and constipation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Reduced fussiness and irritability&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Increased alertness during awake times&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Strengthened parent-child communication and bonding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Increased caregiver confidence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ot.creighton.edu/community/EvidenceReviews/OTD601_10/Cameron_CAT_December_2010.pdf&quot;&gt;Increases in weight gain by premature babies&lt;/a&gt; seems to be one of the primary uses of therapeutic baby massage (at least in professional western medicine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/145995/the_benefits_of_infant_massage_a_critical_review/&quot;&gt;this meta study&lt;/a&gt; found that there is a scarcity of current, research-based, peer-reviewed studies of the effects of baby massage, and that some of the methodologies used by the studies they found were considered flawed:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Insufficient evidence is found for the continued massage of pre- term and low birthweight infants in neonatal intensive care units. Benefits are claimed for the use of massage in specific medical conditions such as asthma and dermatitis, but the review reporting on these benefits was methodologically flawed. A randomised controlled trial found no significant difference between colicky babies that were massaged and a control group. By far the most compelling evidence relates to the benefits of baby massage on the maternal-child relationship and postnatal depression. This evidence would thoroughly justify the provision of infant massage classes in the community by the health visitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www6.miami.edu/touch-research/&quot;&gt;University of Miami Touch Research Institute&lt;/a&gt; seems to focus quite a bit on this topic.  One study conducted by them is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.med.nyu.edu/content?ChunkIID=14351&quot;&gt;repeatedly&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://portsmouthhospital.com/your-health/condition_detail.dot?id=14351&quot;&gt;cited&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;One of the most cited studies showed that premature infants who were massaged for 15 minutes three times a day gained 47% more weight, were more alert, scored better on the Brazelton Neonatal Behavior Assessment Test, and were released from the hospital six days earlier than preterm infants who were not massaged. Eight months later, the massaged infants maintained their weight gain and showed enhanced cognitive and motor development. Massage has also been found to be useful in reducing preterm infant stress behaviors as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, though, most of the focus is on preterm babies.  This is seen also on the Institute's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www6.miami.edu/touch-research/InfantMassage.html&quot;&gt;summary of baby massage research&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T13:02:42.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5258" CreationDate="2012-06-15T13:07:16.437" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a multi-kit that gave us the ability to do rectal, ear, or oral and while it worked just fine, it was a bit of a pain.  Additionally keeping track of what the rectal and ear temperatures mean in relation to the oral temperature that we're typically used to was a REAL pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually we picked up one of the Temporal Thermometer (which is the type of thermometer  our Pediatrician uses, incidentally) off of Amazon and we love it.  Easy, quick temperature, just make sure their forehead is dryish, as sweat can interfere with the reading, and swipe across the forehead a few times and take the average and your good to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get wrapped up in EXACT temperature, whether the kid is 99.2 or 99.6 isn't really that big of deal, if you know they are in that range you know enough to act appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2746" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T13:07:16.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2012-06-15T14:30:26.450" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have done this with all three kids. They needed 26 stickers for a prize (yes even my 3 year old could wait that long).  After 26 stickers the behavior was a habit.  I told them we don't have to work on this behavior any longer that they were amazing at it now and it worked!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T14:30:26.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5236" CreationDate="2012-06-15T16:57:18.543" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I understand it, it is normal and common for toddlers to cause themselves modest pain. It seems to be a combination of sensory stimulation, sensory integration, expression of frustration, body control feedback, and exploration of cause and effect and consistency. Sometimes out of lack of fine control of bodily movements the toddler will cause themselves more pain than intended. For me to consider this normal with my son, it needs to be relatively minor and not cause an injury needing anything more than a kiss from his mom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think what you are describing is normal behavior and will diminish over time as that particular stimulation is well integrated into memory and experience. If her falling to her knees only ends in minor scrapes it seems unlikely that she will damage her knees. Keep in mind I'm no expert on knees or knee injuries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T16:57:18.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5255" CreationDate="2012-06-15T18:05:17.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a very active almost-3-year-old and until a month ago, we were in exact same position as you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is my Machiavellian solution that should get your little one begging for stories in a couple of weeks (guaranteed or your money back!). Offer reading as &lt;em&gt;an alternative to bed time&lt;/em&gt; - as active boys go, he will do anything to avoid sleeping, and a couple weeks later, you'll have yourself an avid reader. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you start, I suggest arming yourself with a dozen books so you can figure out what kinds of stories he responds to. Most toddler books out there are hopelessly unrelatable (stupid farm animals, yer olden English, etc.) so I suggest going to your local library and enlisting a librarian to give you a good selection. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Joanna Cole and Byron Barton are my personal favorites, and I recommend substituting his name and his playmates' names for book characters. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1737" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T18:05:17.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5258" CreationDate="2012-06-15T18:19:27.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to second Swati's answer above ( &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5261/2760&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5261/2760&lt;/a&gt; ). As I can't comment here yet, I post this as a separate answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bought the exact same thermometer a while ago and it works great: It's quick, non-invasive, and accurate.&#xA;Our kids (1,5 and 4,5 years old) like it: they call it &quot;ear-beep&quot; ;-).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A tip for measuring with ear thermometers: Always measure both ears. It helps avoiding botched measurements (too little contact, too short); also, our children have usually slightly different temperatures at each ear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more tip: Do not buy a cheap ear thermometer: they often are very inaccurate. Also, if you have used another thermometer for some time now, do some cross-checking to get a feeling if the new thermometer shows higher/lower values (and by how much it differs).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2760" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T18:56:44.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5245" CreationDate="2012-06-15T18:52:42.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although cheese is very healthy and also good during pregnancy, some types might contain &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listeria&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Listeria&lt;/a&gt;, which can cause serious problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wikipedia quotes the &quot;Center for Science in the Public Interest&quot; with the following cheeses to avoid: &quot;particularly soft-ripened cheeses like feta, Brie, Camembert, blue-veined, or Mexican-style queso blanco&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a rule, pregnant women should avoid any unpasteurized cheeses. In Europe, the typical ones are french soft cheeses (Camembert, Brie, Roquefort; although there are pasteurized variants, too), very hard cheeses (Parmesan, Gruyére), other specialties (like Harzer). As a rule: the more &quot;special&quot; or &quot;regional&quot; a cheese, the higher the risk. &#xA;Also, no matter whether a cheese is made from raw or pasteurized milk, pregnant women should avoid the crust, as it is more likely to harbour listeria or other bacteria than the inside. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: pregnant women should also avoid raw meat because it could cause &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Toxoplasmosis&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2760" LastEditorUserId="2760" LastEditDate="2012-06-15T21:40:35.010" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T21:40:35.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2012-06-15T19:26:54.957" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child may have Speech Apraxia. It's a non-self-correcting condition where the speech signals from the brain get messed up. Starting speech therapy might be the right choice for you and your child, but before you do anything, please speak with your pediatrician or better, get your child evaluated by a speech therapist. Many times a pediatrician will tell you to wait, but waiting may not be the best thing. A pediatrician is not a speech therapist, so go to the expert (the speech therapist) and get your child evaluated. Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2767" LastEditorUserId="2767" LastEditDate="2014-04-11T18:58:57.100" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T18:58:57.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5230" CreationDate="2012-06-15T22:51:16.437" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While the usual medical advice is to wait 6-12 months (this varies a lot depending on the country, doctor, etc), I do not think you should wait at all to perform basic tests on the male member of the couple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason for this is simple: a sperm analysis is simple, easy and inexpensive, and it can save you a lot of frustration and stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="682" LastActivityDate="2012-06-15T22:51:16.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5259" CreationDate="2012-06-15T23:29:16.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm reading your question to say that one of your children is having this surgery, and you're looking for help explaining it to the other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The dictionary definition seems helpful, here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Craniosynostosis [etymology snipped] is a condition in which one or more of the fibrous sutures in an infant skull prematurely fuses by ossification, thereby changing the growth pattern of the skull. Because the skull cannot expand perpendicular to the fused suture, it compensates by growing more in the direction parallel to the closed sutures. Sometimes the resulting growth pattern provides the necessary space for the growing brain, but results in an abnormal head shape and abnormal facial features. In cases in which the compensation does not effectively provide enough space for the growing brain, craniosynostosis results in increased intracranial pressure leading possibly to visual impairment, sleeping impairment, eating difficulties, or an impairment of mental development combined with a significant reduction in IQ.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can paraphrase that to match your children's age, but just explaining that normal skulls are in separate sections that expand, and what the problem is, and why you want to fix it ought to be a good starting place for a conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be afraid to share facts with your kids!  They just want to know stuff.  No need to scare them with worst-case-scenarios, but they ought to be able to handle the basics...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2772" LastEditorUserId="2772" LastEditDate="2012-06-16T14:49:30.147" LastActivityDate="2012-06-16T14:49:30.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5305" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-17T07:20:59.963" Score="14" ViewCount="216325" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 months old and is exclusively breastfed. After drinking for only 5 mins she falls asleep again and wakes up crying again after 30 mins. We have tried different things like tickling her but have failed to keep her awake to drink for longer. Her weight is in normal range now but we are worried about of her not getting enough. Pls suggest some way of keeping her awake and feed longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2791" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-10-18T19:50:52.667" LastActivityDate="2016-12-29T09:21:38.227" Title="Baby breastfeeds for only 5 mins before sleeping again" Tags="|infant|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2012-06-17T12:31:18.817" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I've tried that I've found very useful, especially for the bed time feeding when you want them to eat as much as possible so that they'll sleep longer, was to break up the feeding with a bath. I would nurse as much as he would take, then give him a bath to wake him up and get him hungry again, and then nurse again till he fell asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastActivityDate="2012-06-17T12:31:18.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2012-06-17T13:40:46.047" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try removing some of her clothes so she is a little colder - we found keeping their feet out helped quite a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember though that all babies are different, if she is at the right weight don't worry too much - at this stage just work around her needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-06-17T13:40:46.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2012-06-17T15:47:34.247" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As suggested above plus a bit more what we've been doing with our six week old when she's prematurely falling asleep mid-feed is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feed until she falls asleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remove items of clothing until she wakes&#xA;again&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feed until she falls asleep&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We've found rubbing the palms of her hands as she feeds, if she looks like she's dropping off, &#xA;helps. our midwife mentioned it's an acupressure point for the gut, I'm&#xA;not sure if this is true, but she does seem to pick up feeding again&#xA;when we do it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change her nappy (but keeping her undressed)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feed&#xA;until she falls asleep again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Re-dress her (she'll hopefully, but not&#xA;always, wake up at this junction again)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feed until she falls asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seems to be working for now, I'm certainly suggest giving the hand rubbing a go, we didn't have much luck with tickling ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-06-17T15:47:34.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2012-06-18T02:56:08.603" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's could just be building up your supply. Frequent short feedings can increase your production. Don't try and discourage them, and &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; don't try and put her &quot;on a schedule&quot;. Those are just recipes for ending up with a formula fed baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, she could just be a super efficient eater. My kids never really ate for longer than 5 minutes, even during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, she could just be &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/&quot;&gt;cluster feeding&lt;/a&gt;, albeit this generally happens in the evenings, my 11mo is currently cluster feeding from about 3:30am to 6:30am (when I finally just get up and take him away from mom so she can sleep for an hour while he happily plays in the living room).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her weight is normal, her behavior seems normal. You don't need to worry about that. What you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; need to worry about is mom-burn-out. Breast feeding is really really really really hard. Bravo and congrats for getting it done for 2 months! It's going to take real dedication to keep it going for a year (or 2 or 3, whatever your goal is). Dad is going to have to be really supportive. At the very least, if mom has had a particularly rough night with frequent wakings (this is still happening with us and we have an 11mo) giving mom some disruption free sleep time in the morning; at least 40 minutes so she can get at least one good un-interrupted sleep cycle in. Also, find a le leche meeting near you and get support from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2799" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T02:56:08.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2012-06-18T03:07:35.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The four year old is old enough to understand the whole &quot;mommy is feeding the baby&quot; thing. S/He'll get used to having to occupy him/herself while mom meets the babies' needs. Also, she could have him/her sit on her lap and read him/her a story while she nurses. We've got a 3yo, and an 11mo, and the 3yo doesn't always like not getting attention during cluster feeds, but he just had to learn to deal with it (he was only 2 and a few months with our second was born). Try to prepare an activity ahead of time and then make sure to pay special attention to the older one at a different time of the day (since the little one gets their own special time during afternoons). Worst case scenario on an especially bad day there's always the ole TV (Don't be too hard on yourself if once a week or so you have to use the TV as a distraction during the afternoons, just make sure the TV is &lt;em&gt;off&lt;/em&gt; most of the rest of the day so that when it's on it's actually a treat and a distraction).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you try and space out the feedings or change the 2wo's eating habits, you're just asking to end up with a FF baby...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2799" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T03:07:35.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5255" CreationDate="2012-06-18T03:23:49.910" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may sounds crazy, but, try comic books or graphic novels instead of the old classic rhyming children's stories. I was hopelessly bored reading Seuss etc to my son, but, then I started reading Mega Man, Mouse Gaurd and the Chuck Dixon graphic-novelization of The Hobbit to him and we both love it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The action, the pictures, the little bit of scariness all keep his attention quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could even get a snack of some sort to help corral/anchor him in place while you read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't wait to start reading. It is &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; too early. For newborns, its a great way to talk a lot to them (they'll recognize your voice from before they were out). For infants and toddlers it's fun to look at the pictures (my 11mo loves the books with animals and only a few words per page and is starting to make the animal sounds with me). For small ones, it can be a really special bonding time and sure-fire way to get to delay going to sleep for as long as they possibly can (little tricksters...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2799" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T03:23:49.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5170" CreationDate="2012-06-18T03:59:18.493" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you ever feel like you are going to hit your kid, simplest thing to do is just walk away until you are in control again. Who cares if he screams and knocks stuff over or even breaks something etc (as long as he isn't endangering himself, but, with a large angry man pumped full of testosterone whose fight-or-flight response has just kicked in, he's endangering himself with you and he's no longer safe anyways, you just snapped an turned into the Hulk. Only the Hulk can get the Hulk out of the room, so just leave), an hour or two later it will all be over and you'll just be glad you didn't hit him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentmagic.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;1-2-3 Magic&lt;/a&gt;. It's extremely effective, when used consistently and correctly you'll have a much improved relationship with your child and will very rarely have a compulsion to hit them. I have never ever had to spank my sons. I was spanked properly (according to what would be considered &quot;correct&quot; and &quot;healthy&quot; methods of spanking) growing up, and I find this 1-2-3 magic method to be far superior (and get the impression that even my mom wishes she had known something like this instead of spanking us). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your situation you could try something like the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain sometime outside of the situation ahead of time during the day that tonight after the younger one is asleep exactly what you expect of the older one when you inform him it is time for bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you inform him it is time for bed, if he does not respond in the expected manner in 5 seconds, tell him in a completely calm tone (the same tone you'd use to answer a stranger who inquired as to what time it was) &quot;That's one. Turn off the TV and go into the bedroom. If I get to 3, X is going to happen&quot; (DO NOT say ANYTHING more than this, keep it as short as possible).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he does not respond in the expected manner in 5 more seconds, using the same calm tone say &quot;That's Two&quot; (NOTHING ELSE).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he does not respond in the expected manner in 5 more seconds, using the same calm tone say &quot;That's Three&quot; and then calmly dispense the consequence (In your case, this would most likely be literally flipping the &quot;off&quot; switch on the six strip powering the electronic devices).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't say ANYTHING at this point. No lecturing, no whining about the fact that you had to do that. Nothing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point any number of things might happen. A) he might walk meekly into the bedroom (ROFL, not likely) B) He might start screaming and throwing a fit C) He might go and turn the switch back on&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If A happens, rejoice! If B happens, just start counting him for the fit in the same calm manor with the consequence being something like a time-out or loss of one of the three stories you were going to read him before bed or something. If C happens, if it is small enough, just calmly unplug the TV, pick it up and carry it out to your car or the attic or something (if it is really big, find some other way to effectively achieve the same result, unplug it and hang the cord over a hook you oh-so-cleverly installed on the ceiling ahead of time) so he knows you're not screwing around. TV gone. Next he'll scream and cry, see B.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, he's going to test you. The first few nights there will be tears and your younger one will wake up and you'll have to deal with that, but, once you show him you are unflappable and that when you say bed-time you mean it, you will rarely have to get past 2 again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 1-2-3 magic book is much better at explaining this method than I am and definitely worth the read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2799" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T03:59:18.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5158" CreationDate="2012-06-18T04:08:45.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first son didn't start sleeping well until he was about... 19 months? I remember it consistently taking 90 minutes of holding and bouncing slightly and walking around in a large circle singing to him to get him to sleep (that was a long several months). It took forever to get him to sleep and then he would not stay asleep all night (wife usually just fed him back to sleep).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I almost never got him to sleep by rocking. He would get PISSED if I ever sat down while he was awake and trying to fall asleep. I had to be standing and bouncing very slightly and swaying or walking. It sounds like your son just doesn't like it when you are sitting down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every kid is different. Some sleep soundlessly through the night (none that I've ever seen). Some wake up every 30 minutes (mine). In a few years, this will all just be a memory, it's up to your attitude as to whether it is a bad one or a good one. If you fight him, it will be a bad one. If you lovingly work with him and try and do everything you can to get him comfortable (which could mean you being uncomfortable because you have to walk him around a lot or something) it will be a fond memory of hard work and sacrifice and you will bond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2799" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T04:08:45.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5317" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5319" CreationDate="2012-06-18T11:20:45.430" Score="10" ViewCount="2606" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 21-month-old daughter. Sometimes (not always), if she bumps her head, or stubs her toe, or whatever, this results in crying and asking to be held (and not wanting to be put down once the crying has stopped).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My current response to this is to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;accept her request: she's upset, and I don't want to withhold support&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make a show out of examining the hurt spot, giving it a kiss, telling her that she's OK&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try to draw her attention elsewhere (&quot;hey, look at this!&quot;, &quot;what's mommy doing?&quot;, etc), hopefully hooking her onto it so that she forgets about being upset and lets me put her down (and hopefully also teaching her something about how to deal with pain)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, recently a family member visited. When one such scene happened, this person's immediate response was to sort of smirk at my daughter (daring her to be upset? haughtiness because she's seen this before? I don't know), and to mock her crying by saying things like &quot;oooh, it hurts sooooooo much!&quot; (Incidentally, this seemed to make the crying last longer, in spite of me trying to comfort her.) This person had raised her own daughter pretty much by sending her to her room whenever she cried; after the crying was over, the child could come out and talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to agree with this method, but now I find it a little harsh (seems like it denies emotional support when requested, thereby creating a situation where the child isn't automatically accepted - and of course the mocking is bad). However, I do worry that I may be &quot;spoiling&quot; my own daughter, or teaching her to whine over nothing, or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I being too &quot;soft&quot;, or am I falling for a dangerous cliché? It seems like this sort of &quot;it's only a big deal if somebody's watching&quot; behavior is normal, but is there a risk that it will continue (and if so, what causes it)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-18T12:33:34.500" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T22:14:58.993" Title="How do you respond to minor injuries?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5317" CreationDate="2012-06-18T12:32:29.977" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Quite frankly, your family member should stop doing that to your daughter.  Its one thing if you have decided to follow a similar method, and have communicated this to the family member in advance (I still don't think its a good method to use, but at least it would have been &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; decision).  It is quite another to come into someone else's house, even if they are family, and mock their toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The behavior is completely unacceptable, and you should do what you have to to get it to stop (talk to the family member, and if that doesn't work, avoid contact between them and your daughter).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I have to admit that I have some worries that my wife's approach to injuries may be a bit in the other edge of the spectrum, as she tends to make a bigger deal over any injury (often before my son, who is the same age as your daughter, shows any signs that he's actually bothered by the incident).  I tend to be a bit on the reserved side to compensate, but if my son is crying, I comfort him.  Period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a child, my father used to mock me as a way of &quot;motivating&quot; me.  My main memory of it was when he was trying to teach me to play chess.  He would mock me whenever I made a bad move, or whenever he won (I should mention that I was probably 8, and while he wasn't Grand Master level, he was a rated player who played somewhat competitively).  The outcome of this technique was that I hated playing chess, and learned to refuse to play with him.  It did &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; turn me into an expert player, or cause my game to improve in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't imagine that such a technique would be any more effective in teaching someone, particularly a toddler, about how to handle pain.  The most I would expect from such a technique is to teach the child how to hide and repress pain and sadness.  I would not consider such a thing healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the balance to seek is providing support and comfort, without making a big deal over it.  Don't comfort unless the child seems bothered by it.  Sometimes a kid will skin their knee, and then get up and continue as if nothing happened.  Stopping them and exclaiming over the &quot;owie!&quot; that they didn't even notice might send the wrong message (although calmly stopping them and saying &quot;let's get that cleaned up before you go back to playing&quot; is perfectly fine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is crying, though, and upset, then withholding support seems like the wrong thing to do, and deliberately mocking them in order to &quot;shame&quot; them into behaving the way you want is just plain dysfunctional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T12:32:29.977" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5317" CreationDate="2012-06-18T14:14:42.027" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Beofett here, and would extend this into a few more generalizable terms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your relative is not respectful.  Mocking behavior is not respectful to the children, nor to your reaction, and that lack of respect is hurtful.  From what you've said, that lack of respect was how she raised her own daughter.  How is this relative's daughter now?  Does she do the same thing, treating everything with mocking derision?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children who are not shown respect will not know how to show it in turn; your relative is setting up a relationship based on mocking sarcasm, rather than loving support.  I'm all for mocking sarcasm, when it's appropriate, when the other party can fight back and everyone knows that it's a joke.  Two year olds are not in on the joke and will take it at face value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your daughter's behavior, I tend to fall on the side of, &quot;Meh, you're not really hurt,&quot; and only really go to my son's aid when it's obviously a calamity (fell further than his height, is bleeding, looks like a joint got seriously torqued, etc).  Her behavior comes from the knowledge of what's expected; right now, she expects that every bump and scrape will get her some attention, so she may even start initiating the pain (viz &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5236/toddler-likes-to-hurt-herself&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;).  If she expects that you'll just barely look at her and say, &quot;You're fine,&quot; then the drama should stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saying that you're fine, and paying attention to serious injury, is very respectful, in my mind.  It sends the message that she is expected to be competent on her own, but that if problems arise, she knows she can turn to you.  She shouldn't rely on you for every little thing, but should have a wellspring of internal resilience.  That means that when she's older, she should have the wherewithal to handle most situations, but the knowledge (and the comfort in that knowledge) that she can rely on others for help in bigger situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, you can't help it; you just don't want your little one to get hurt.  They will get hurt; it's how they learn to react to the pain that will be what you teach them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T14:14:42.027" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5320" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5323" CreationDate="2012-06-18T14:20:55.953" Score="10" ViewCount="1553" Body="&lt;p&gt;Inspired from my &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5317/how-do-you-respond-to-minor-injuries&quot;&gt;previous question&lt;/a&gt;, but distilled to be more specific:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What types of parenting would cause a child to become a &quot;whiner?&quot; By this, I mean that the child becomes someone who tends to use complaining to authority figures (exaggerating the difficulties s/he is facing) as the first choice for resolving problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where I come from, the &quot;common wisdom&quot; seems to be that comforting a child for things that &quot;shouldn't&quot; require comfort (like minor pain from bumping one's head) encourages this behavior, and that the preferred method is to not &quot;give in&quot; to the child's cries for attention. Is this true?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T18:10:07.730" Title="How can parents avoid their child becoming a &quot;whiner&quot;?" Tags="|discipline|personality|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5320" CreationDate="2012-06-18T15:06:25.587" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;That is a part of it. When children know that, when they whine, they get what they want, they'll use their new tool. To discourage it, you have to show them that whining doesn't get them what they want:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ignore minor whining - Basic Pavlovian behavior modification; reward good behavior, ignore bad behavior. If they're whining about general &quot;the world isn't fair because I didn't get my way&quot; stuff, then as long as the situation can be ignored, do so.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Escalation = time-out - Kids learn pretty quickly that when Mommy gets embarrassed at their antics, she'll give them what they want to shut them up. Don't give in, even when whining becomes screaming. Most passersby will be tolerant to a degree, but if you feel the situation is spiraling out of control, remove the child from the situation and put them in time-out until they calm down. Don't get angry, don't get frustrated, just deal with your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell them to speak normally - If they have a legitimate gripe or concern, but are whining when they tell you, tell them to say it in their normal voice without whining. If they do, reward them in some way (even if you can't give them what they're asking for). If they don't, ignore it (unless they're whining about something like &quot;Tommy set the couch on fire&quot;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T15:06:25.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5320" CreationDate="2012-06-18T16:19:14.923" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consistency is also an important part of this: both parents have to stick to the same line, denying the opportunity for the child to say, &quot;But &lt;em&gt;Mom&lt;/em&gt; lets me do this!&quot; (regardless of its truth).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife says &quot;I can't understand when you use that voice,&quot; and the kids generally drop into a normal tone immediately. (If you say &quot;I can't hear you when you talk like that,&quot; they just whine louder. I learned that the hard way!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T16:19:14.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5320" CreationDate="2012-06-18T18:03:45.120" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually there are theories that contradict what you guys are saying. None of you are citing any sources for your theories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance: children might exaggerate their plight since you won't listen to minor gripes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Telling a tired, hungry and upset kid to speak in its normal voice... well, hasn't worked for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you guys want to know what has worked?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mirroring. I reflect back what my children (only my eldest daughter speaks) say, confirming to them that I have listened. Then they might whine some more and I reflect some more. And then after a while, they figure a solution out themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also works with adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actual example from today:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Daddy, I want to sit in the stroller (we were going to the playground and I have spoilt my eldest with the stroller for far to much) - said in a sad, whiny voice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You want to sit in the stroller, I see, but we can manage the walk, I think&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;But I have tired legs, I can't waaalk &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have tired legs. How does that feel?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I want to have my pacifier (she had lost it earlier)!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You want to have your pacifier, I know. I wish I had it, but I don't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;WAAAAAH, WAAAAH, WAAAAAH.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok, that didn't really end well. ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't always, if by &quot;well&quot; one means no crying or whining. What happened was that I kept reflecting and made her walk along, keeping my temper - and hers. It didn't escalate and this is a kid that really is addicted to her pacifier and it was after dinner so she was real tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And after a while she was distracted since we were out on a walk. Cats passed by, there were flowers... everything worked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This whole evening started with her crying in bed from losing her pacifier. I just reflected that back to her, same as above, and instead of crying, all of a sudden she says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I want to suck your thumb!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I let her. After a while she concluded that it was no pacifier, nor tasty, so we went and had dinner instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I don't give in to whining, this I agree with. But the whining comes from some kind of need and you as a parent need to confirm that your kids needs are at least registering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been doing this for a while and THIS really works. I bet having your kids take timeouts might work, but that is shutting them out... I just don't really believe in that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try different approaches. I prefer the ones were my blood pressure is about level and my kids calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read more about it here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2012/06/how-to-talk-to-human-beings.html&quot;&gt;http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2012/06/how-to-talk-to-human-beings.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, not comforting your kid when it has hurt itself... I don't know. If my kids come to me for various reasons, I receive them with open arms. We sit down and I try not to make that big of a deal of their injuries, but helping them cope with the pain and telling them that it will pass. I don't feel that my kids are more whiny when it comes to getting hurt. I think it's important not to freak out yourself, not to make a big deal from a bump or a bruise, but also to NOT deny your children affection, human touch and being close. If you push them away when they need you near, they won't get tough. They will be sad and close up and hide their emotions. By making them feel secure after bumping a knee, you signal them that getting hurt isn't that bad, someone will comfort you, the pain goes away and you can go play again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and also, don't feed them candy on a daily basis. ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2811" LastEditorUserId="2811" LastEditDate="2012-06-18T18:10:07.730" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T18:10:07.730" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5317" CreationDate="2012-06-18T21:22:41.187" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my daughter, we'd always tell to just to &quot;dust off&quot; if she fell and hurt herself. Most times, she'd just dust her self off and continue playing. If she didn't then she was probably really hurt and we'd check her out and make sure she's ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This worked great (at least we though it did) until she broke her arm (green stick fracture) at the age of 6 and didn't tell me for a while because she thought I'd just tell her to &quot;dust off.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, she face planted on a hard surface at school leaving substantial cuts in her face. She didn't cry for at least an hour because if you hurt yourself, &quot;you just have to suck it up.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, it is possible to raise a kid who's too tough. Balance is required since kids do not always understand context and severity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-06-18T21:22:41.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2012-06-19T00:01:20.217" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The job of an adult is to raise another competent, functional adult that can manage themselves in the real world, not to raise a child that must always be managed by others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing that having a set bed time for an 18 year old accomplishes is that they don't get a chance to learn how to manage their own tiredness/schedule/etc, and so they'll likely end up screwing up very badly when they first leave home.  My girls are quite a lot younger than that, but the only way I can see giving them a set bedtime, at any age, is if they're failing to manage themselves &lt;em&gt;and making it my problem&lt;/em&gt;, by acting out at me, or bringing home bad report cards, or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By 18, even bringing home bad report cards is &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; problem, not mine; the only way I'd set a bed time is if they were abusive to me when they hadn't slept well.  The key point there is that I'd set a bed time with &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; adult in my house that had that behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been my experience that if you ask children to step up to your expectations, they usually will, and if you always baby them, they'll be babies for you, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Robin&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2819" LastActivityDate="2012-06-19T00:01:20.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2012-06-19T05:27:24.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm no expert, but breast milk induces sleep in babies, babies also have small stomachs. A breast feeding baby can fill there stomach in 5 mins, this with the naturally induced sleep means when they are small they well feed every 30mins to 1hr is completely normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately this doesn't do much for your sanity. Every kid is different so don't go reading the web with these mothers that love to tell you how their baby sleeps all night, those are the lucky ones. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby is health, then its doing the right thing to maintain that. My wife still breast feeds at 10months but he also mixes the day with solids. &lt;strong&gt;Please don't try to force your baby to do something because you read it somewhere. Your baby well let you know what it needs.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2822" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2013-01-29T14:38:11.833" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T14:38:11.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5245" CreationDate="2012-06-19T05:45:54.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anything that is not pasteurized. But if you look up the statistics on Listeria you have a 0.1% chance of these becoming a problem. If you listen to everyone out there of what you shouldn't eat they you well end up not being able to eat anything at all. Also location plays a part in this, in Australia all dairy products have to be pasteurized before being sold, I'm not sure of the law in other countries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really you can eat most things when your pregnant, just follow the same rules you would for any normal health eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2822" LastActivityDate="2012-06-19T05:45:54.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5328" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5333" CreationDate="2012-06-19T10:07:56.007" Score="2" ViewCount="4310" Body="&lt;p&gt;I got the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norplant&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;jadelle&lt;/a&gt; a week ago today and my second daughter is 4 weeks old. Family Planning told me it was fine to get it, but for the last two days my daughter has had a higher temperature, has been throwing up everything, is really unsettled and not feeding properly. The only thing I can think of that could have any affect is my jadelle.  Family Planning told me would take approximately a week to kick in, which is about now. Is it possible that the implant is having an affect on my daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2826" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-19T12:04:28.643" LastActivityDate="2012-06-19T17:13:20.760" Title="Could the Jadelle birth control be affecting my breast milk?" Tags="|infant|health|safety|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2012-06-19T12:00:12.383" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are those who feel that rewards are just as counter-productive as punishments. See &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0618001816&quot;&gt;Punished by Rewards&lt;/a&gt;&quot; by Alfie Kohn. He observes that both follow essentially the same pattern: &quot;do this and you'll get A&quot; is pretty much the same as &quot;don't do this and you'll get B.&quot; He cites some research indicating that using extrinsic rewards can actually quash a child's intrinsic motivation, and that adding rewards to something a person already wants to do will make them NOT want to do it. His main point seems to be that both rewards and punishment are ways of manipulating the child, and imposing what the parent wants, instead of acknowledging the child's own (legitimate) wants and needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I tend to agree with Kohn. Note that he's not against positive reinforcement or praise - it seems to me like somewhat of a nuance but it's important to acknowledge an accomplishment, share the child's feeling, without going over the top to where you're trying to give them some sort of bonus above the joy that they're already feeling. Kids want to have a positive relationship with their parents, but they also want to be understood and respected - just like any human being. It's important to focus on that instead of instituting a system whereby you are simply buying their compliance with your orders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-19T12:20:52.047" LastActivityDate="2012-06-19T12:20:52.047" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5245" CreationDate="2012-06-19T12:40:19.287" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As was mentioned, the problem with cheese is the potential for &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listeria&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Listeria&lt;/a&gt;.  The risk is primarily for cheeses made from unpasteurized milk.  Soft cheeses are the ones to double check, as the aging process used in hard cheeses, even those made with unpasteurized milk, makes the cheese &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.foodstandards.gov.au/scienceandeducation/factsheets/factsheets2005/listeriacommonlyaske3115.cfm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;inhospitable to Listeria cultures&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hard cheeses have longer ripening periods, reduced moisture content and lower pH and are unlikely to support the survival and proliferation of Listeria and are therefore generally safe to consume by at risk groups&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending upon your local food safety regulations, soft cheeses made with unpasteurized milk may be altogether rare, or obtainable only from specialty shops. Always check the label on any soft cheeses you may intend to consume while pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another class of cheeses to avoid are &amp;quot;mold-ripened&amp;quot; (same source as above):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These cheeses are divided into two categories: white mould cheeses, which are surface ripened (i.e. Brie and Camembert ) and blue mould or blue veined cheeses, with mould throughout the cheese (i.e. blue, Gorgonzola, Stilton ).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The relatively high moisture content of the surface ripened cheeses, along with a nearly neutral pH in fully ripened cheese, allows rapid growth of Listeria bacteria.  Mould ripened cheeses are also highly susceptible to surface contamination during ripening.   These types of cheese should be avoided by at risk groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, &amp;quot;whey cheeses&amp;quot; (typically Ricotta) have a high moisture content and growth of Listeria may occur if there is post-processing contamination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to these cheeses, we were also warned not to eat any cheeses that were sliced at a deli.  The slicers at delis are often only washed once a day (if it is a reputable deli), and room-temperature cheese residue builds up on the slicer throughout the day.  In some cases, the slicer may also be used to cut meats in addition to cheeses, increasing the risk of cross-contamination (sliced deli meats were another thing we were warned against).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-06-19T18:20:55.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5331" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5332" CreationDate="2012-06-19T15:00:39.913" Score="9" ViewCount="56660" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2 month old breast feeds 90% of the time, but if my wife is away we will use pumped breast milk from a bottle.  The other day my wife was out and we only had 1.5 oz of defrosted breast milk.  Our baby usually eats 2 oz per feeding, so I added .5 oz of warm water so that she wouldn't get hungry before mom got home (first time I've done this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife says this is bad and could lead to water intoxication.  Is this correct?  Should I avoid adding water to breast milk at all times?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2511" LastActivityDate="2022-09-09T03:00:39.213" Title="Ok to mix breast milk with water?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5331" CreationDate="2012-06-19T16:48:44.477" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breastmilk is about &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breastmilk#Composition&quot;&gt;80-90% water&lt;/a&gt; as it is, so there really is no need to add additional water to it. Water use is also discouraged for the reason you used it: newborns can fill up on water, so they should not be given water. (It's like filling up on cookies instead of an actual meal. Their growing bodies need good nutrition.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife is correct that water &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hopkinschildrens.org/newsdetail.aspx?id=4844&quot;&gt;intoxication can happen in infants&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Too much water dilutes sodium in the blood and flushes it out of the&#xA;  body, thus altering brain activity, which can lead to a seizure.&#xA;  Infants under 1 year of age may be more prone to these types of&#xA;  seizures than older children because a young infant’s diet does not&#xA;  contain enough food sources to replenish the lost sodium. Also, an&#xA;  infant’s immature kidneys cannot flush out excess water fast enough,&#xA;  causing a dangerous buildup of water in the body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly avoid adding water to breastmilk. Typically, water is not fed to infants until they start solids/baby food - and then too, it is supplied with meals. Once they are weaned off, water intake is increased to compensate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend keeping some back-up formula on hand, or even a soother to get relief from the sucking motion. Also try distracting the child until the mother returns, rocking him, etc. Don't use cow's milk as that also doesn't have sufficient nutrition. Stick with breast milk or infant formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-06-19T16:48:44.477" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5328" CreationDate="2012-06-19T17:13:20.760" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A hormonal implant is generally not recommended for breastfeeding women, specifically in the first six weeks. I've only found mixed studies in terms of impact on breastfeeding women (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3931973&quot;&gt;inconclusive study&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12169382&quot;&gt;need further study&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3936675&quot;&gt;impact on immunoglobulin&lt;/a&gt;. Studies are non-existent when the use is before 6 weeks post-partum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to know is that the steroid has been identified and detected in breastmilk, but there was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rxlist.com/norplant-drug/warnings-precautions.htm&quot;&gt;no significant impact on infant growth&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Steroids are not considered the contraceptives of first choice for&#xA;  breast-feeding women. Levonorgestrel has been identified in the breast&#xA;  milk. The health of breast-fed infants whose mothers began using the&#xA;  NORPLANT (levonorgestrel implants (unavailable in us)) SYSTEM during&#xA;  the &lt;strong&gt;5th to 7th week postpartum was evaluated&lt;/strong&gt;; no significant effects&#xA;  were observed on the growth or development of infants who were&#xA;  followed to 12 months of age. &lt;strong&gt;No data are available on use in&#xA;  breast-feeding mothers earlier than this after parturition&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12169382&quot;&gt;One study&lt;/a&gt; stood out in indicating that there is a higher incidence of infections:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding pattern and infants growth, from admission through age 6&#xA;  years, were similar in both groups. In the first year, &lt;strong&gt;breastfed&#xA;  infants in the Norplant group had higher incidence rates (p &amp;lt; 0.05) of&#xA;  mild episodes of respiratory infections (adjusted RR 1.17, CI&#xA;  1.08-1.27), skin conditions (adjusted RR 1.46, CI 1.20-1.79), and eye infections&lt;/strong&gt; (unadjusted RR 1.49, CI 1.03-2.18) than the control group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best bet may be to consult actual medical advise to determine what may be causing the change in your daughter. So many things can irritate infants that it really is best left to a pediatrician / qualified medical professionals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-06-19T17:13:20.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5331" CreationDate="2012-06-19T19:22:02.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Germany it is common to let babys drink water (or tea) if they are not hungry but thirsty. So I don't see any problem in filling up a bottle of milk with such a small volume of water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the concentration of sodium in tap water here is much less then in the states. (Please see &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_fluoridation#Use_around_the_world&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_fluoridation#Use_around_the_world&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it is an option for you to use low-sodium bottled water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2831" LastActivityDate="2012-06-19T19:22:02.193" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5331" CreationDate="2012-06-20T03:09:52.693" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adding half an ounce of water for a one off feeding is not going to harm the baby in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing this for the majority of feeds is likely to be an issue in terms of nutrition and in the extreme perhaps water intoxication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mistake here is to conflate a small issue as being an extreme case. Despite being unable to process water as well as adults, babies can still handle a number of ounces of water at a time safely. &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stlouischildrens.org/articles/wellness/water-intoxication-in-infants&quot;&gt;http://www.stlouischildrens.org/articles/wellness/water-intoxication-in-infants&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-06-20T03:09:52.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5336" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5447" CreationDate="2012-06-20T21:11:09.430" Score="20" ViewCount="11064" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 26, my younger brother is 13. He is spending almost all of his day on TV and computer. Common problem, but I am really worried about him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I came back to live in my parents' house since it's close to my school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a younger son, our parents are getting close to their 60s, and they don't really have any educational agenda, nor the discipline to apply one. They are tired of fighting with him. They have consulted with a psychologist which insists they have to let him do anything he wants, so he won't feel an urge to rebel. I think this is super-stupid and can prove it with my own life. Even his school has a stupid &quot;democratic&quot; approach which says all kids have to do only what they feel like doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is an artistic kid, he can enjoy playing guitar, woodcraft, board games, hiking, climbing, etc. But it's getting harder and harder to make him participate in those activities. It's also hard because we don't have enough discipline as family. I've decided lots of time to make sure we go out of the house together at least once a week but found it really difficult to follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I need is a plan. A well planned change, involving our parents. We need a long-term change. My main problems are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How do I tell my parents about this? I want to get them alert, so they'll be motivated to make a real change, but I don't want to make them too worried. I thought of telling them everything, so they'll know they can't keep the situation as it is.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How can we restrict his TV and computer usage? I want to create alternatives but it won't work if he has totally free, unlimited access to TV and computer. I thought of a technical solution, but wouldn't it make him feel we don't trust him? (well, I don't..)&#xA;And what is a reasonable, non harmful time for screen activity?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Alternatives: I can think of plenty activities, but how can we make him participate? I find rewarding systems problematic - at a certain time in your life you have to be able to do stuff only because you choose to, not because you look for the reward. Is there a way of creating an intense, committing activities agenda without using power or rewards?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Discipline - How can we make sure it won't be a few-weeks change, but a long-term change that will last for the rest of his youth? Knowing that we have a discipline problem as a family..&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2842" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-08-14T22:29:17.453" LastActivityDate="2020-08-14T22:29:17.453" Title="How to approach my little brother's addiction to TV and computer?" Tags="|discipline|teen|communication|siblings|screen-time|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5336" CreationDate="2012-06-21T03:12:33.590" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to him about your experiences, this is especially useful as you have been through the same thing as him and can help him simply be being there to talk to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the gaming addiction, my gut feel is that this is a symptom of other underlying issues and finding those and dealing with them will be more useful than trying to impose external controls on his behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastEditorUserId="2709" LastEditDate="2012-07-01T21:56:22.057" LastActivityDate="2012-07-01T21:56:22.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5209" CreationDate="2012-06-21T13:21:23.050" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having now reached 16 weeks with my little one I can say that my pediatrician actually ended up being correct - time was the answer.  The gas pain began tapering off around 14 weeks and at 16 weeks has been gone for well over a week.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately it has left in its wake sleep issues that will now have to be addressed.  Were I to do this all over again I might try modifying my diet during the earlier phases of my child's life to prevent the gas pain and subsequent sleep problems if possible.  Hence &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5210/2146&quot;&gt;the accepted answer&lt;/a&gt; will be a future strategy.  However I wanted to update the question with an answer that defends my pediatrician's office and provides this information for anyone else with the question in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2 and a half years later I am going through something similar - only more acute, with my second child. My second has been declared &quot;very gassy&quot; by the pediatrician and has noticeable gas bubbles when you place your hand on her abdomen. She also has been diagnosed with reflux and has progressed from Zantac to Prevacid. This time I have been very proactive. When my second was a month old I did a two week trial eliminating soy and dairy from my diet completely. I spent weeks block feeding in order to eliminate my milk oversupply (a cause of gassiness in newborns). I tried probiotics, and they seemed to exacerbate the problem. I have been very diligent about burping at every feeding and before bed. Gas massages did not work in the beginning, but started to help some around 9 or 10 weeks. Unfortunately massage just ends the long episodes of night time screaming; it does not prevent them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second has reached 14 weeks and there is no end in sight to the gas pain. I do not know if it will begin to taper down at this point, as it did with my first. I simply wanted to update this answer to say that sometimes elimination diets, block feeding, and all the other suggestions sometimes aren't the answer, though sometimes they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T01:36:42.377" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5317" CreationDate="2012-06-21T18:57:38.920" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We generally follow what the other answers have written.  Let them recover on their own from minor things, give comfort for real injuries, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However we do sometimes use the mocking approach - for the fake cries.  My son will often break out with sudden tears if he doesn't get his way.  &quot;No, you can't have candy instead of dinner.&quot;  &quot;Wahhh!!&quot;  We'll respond with, &quot;Oh, what a fake cry!&quot; and so on.  When he realizes we're just not taking him seriously he quickly gives up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-06-21T18:57:38.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5170" CreationDate="2012-06-21T19:10:26.310" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've a 3 year old, so don't yet have experience with five year olds, but we have similar troubles getting him off to bed at night.  Seems like 50% of the time he's going under protest usually accompanied by tears.  And often those are associated with TV watching, as in the OP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most useful techniques we've picked up when he's watching TV at night is to give him a countdown.  &quot;10 minutes until bedtime, do you want to watch one more cartoon, or just go read some books?&quot;  This gives him time to mentally prepare for the inevitability of bed, while still getting to do what he wants.  Usually he asks for &quot;just one more, please?&quot; but we can justify the bedtime at that point; he may not like it but he's a lot more compliant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if it'd work on a 5 year old, but my wife uses the &lt;em&gt;same&lt;/em&gt; technique on me.  &quot;Honey, 10 minutes until dinner... wrap up whatever you're doing on the computer and come on down!&quot;  So... yeah.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-06-21T19:10:26.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2012-06-21T20:22:13.903" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers do need snacks between meals, their stomachs aren't big like adults. But, maximize every calorie by being selective about only offering healthy foods with lots of vitamins, healthy fats, dense nutrients, etc. Make sure she is not filling up on goldfish crackers and the like, more cheese, fresh fruit, add butter to everything you can to get more fats that babies need, etc. And you may have to remind your child it would be a good time to snack by preparing a healthy snack and offering it at a time spaced apart from meals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 14 months I would still expect a significant portion of her calories to come from breastmilk or formula. Although it is generally regarded as acceptable to allow a 14 month old to drink whole milk, if you are needing to &quot;fatten her up&quot; I would stick to using the formula, which is better for them nutrition-wise. Often it is easier to get more calories in through adding liquid calories (just like it is for adults, eg: drinking soda, coffee, etc doesn't always seem hard on a &quot;full&quot; stomach), so perhaps consult your pediatrician about whether upping her allowance of formula per day would be ok. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-06-21T20:22:13.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5336" CreationDate="2012-06-21T20:40:04.277" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sinking so much time into such passive activities points towards some sort of mental or emotional health issue.  It's possible he's depressed or avoiding responsibility, but I agree with Nat -- it sounds like a symptom rather than a cause.  I don't know what kind of psychologist your brother saw, but that person sounds like a quack.  I'd &lt;em&gt;highly&lt;/em&gt; suggest getting him seen by someone else.  Mental/Emotional health issues are tricky, and treatment can be very hit and miss for a while until you find the right combination of people to help and a working treatment plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First and foremost you need to get your parents in on this, and make sure that they're the final decision makers on matters of rules, discipline, and health care.  Your brother isn't your child and he's probably not going to react well if you try to treat him as such or if he sees you trying to push your parents into &quot;fixing&quot; him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second is to come up with activities that you can do as a family or that you two can do together.  Just getting him out of the house a few hours at a time would be worthwhile, even if it's just you two milling about the mall and doing window shopping.  Use it as a time to bond with him and find out what he's really into -- not just what you think he's into.  If he's not doing his schoolwork now, not doing it because he's out biking with you isn't going to make much difference.  Getting him out would also naturally reduce his TV &amp;amp; Internet time as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you need to understand that you can't make your brother change his habits -- he has to want to change them for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="2709" LastEditDate="2012-07-02T00:39:43.133" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T00:39:43.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5336" CreationDate="2012-06-21T20:43:05.603" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I definitely agree professional help would be valuable, I would also suggest considering your opportunity to be a role-model to your brother. Spend time with him. Invite him to go with you to do fun things that don't involve the computer. Engage him in loving brotherly conversation, so that he trusts you and becomes more open to share what is going on with him. Express your concerns to him in a loving manner, gently letting him know that you're concerned that how much time he's spending engaging in xyz activities seems to be hurting him in whatever particular ways, and let him know you want to help him if there's anything you can do to help. If you are building up a close relationship with trust, he may open up to you about what is going on and what he's going through. You may need your own support network as well to help you deal with your brother's intense emotions or whatever might come out, to help you not get overwhelmed in the middle of his issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting him involved in more physical activities may help with keeping him more physically active and from falling into a physical lethargy, such as via sports or hiking that you say he used to enjoy. He sounds a bit depressed. Do you think he needs medication to help his body reset to a happy healthy state? If so you should probably share your concern as such with your parents. 13 is a tough age for a lot of kids, in general, around that age, there's a shift from an identify as a member of one's family to starting to develop an individual identity. How is his social life at school? Does he have friends? Does he wish he had more friends? Are his friends all depressed and dragging him down? Does he play games to escape thinking about his misery elsewhere in his life? Does he have hopes and dreams? Goals for his life? Future career aspirations? As an older brother you could certainly encourage him to start thinking about what he'd like out of life and pointing him in what direction it would take to get there. As far as more activities with the family, you would probably need to get your parents to be on board with your plan to get out and do family activities so that they can help enforce the &quot;yes, you do need to participate, and not just sit around and be lazy all day&quot; side of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are probably not in the role needed to set up rules for your brother. You may want to sit down with your parents and lay out your concerns about why you think those rules are necessary (eg: he's not developing social skills with friends because he spends so much time playing computer games that he's not building friendships, how his health or vision might be being affected, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-06-21T20:43:05.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2012-06-22T15:52:44.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sister-in-law had this problem with her firstborn.  The lactation specialist suggested tickling his feet, but when he fell asleep, he was right out.  Once she was convinced the foot tickling didn't work, the specialist recommended lightly flicking the end of the baby's nose. &lt;em&gt;That&lt;/em&gt; didn't work either.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, my sister-in-law figured out that she could squeeze her breast gently and give the baby a squirt, which woke him up enough to eat some more. (Obviously, he fell asleep at her breast and was still sort of latched on for this to work.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T15:52:44.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2012-06-22T17:18:34.623" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she is normal weight, I wouldn't worry too much!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried really hard to make sure our son didn't associate feeding with sleeping immediately afterward.  We followed a Feed-&gt;Wake-&gt;Sleep cycle.  We would feed him immediately when he woke up.   Given that it is so cozy while feeding it is less tempting to fall asleep if they have already been sleeping and are ready to be awake.  This also helped to make sure that he could sleep without demanding to be fed every time (this comes in handy later).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2855" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T17:18:34.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5348" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-06-22T18:39:34.777" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-06-22T18:39:34.777" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T18:39:34.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5349" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-06-22T18:39:34.777" Score="0" Body="Cloth diapers are an alternative to disposable diapers. Many people believe that they are cheaper in the long run, have less of an environmental impact, or may help avoid allergen concerns some people have about disposables. They are washed and re-used, either by the parent, or by a service." OwnerUserId="2856" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-22T19:17:52.083" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T19:17:52.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5350" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5356" CreationDate="2012-06-22T19:19:44.283" Score="9" ViewCount="1659" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, I noticed that my 2-month-old baby sleeps almost all day, including naps (maybe 3-5 hours awake). Should I do anything about this? Should I wake him up or, is it normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1474" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-03T13:23:46.027" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T07:03:40.290" Title="How many hours should a baby sleep in a day?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4512" CreationDate="2012-06-22T19:19:53.363" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;SIDS is not suffocation.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your newborn is but to sleep on their back, with no loose blankets, they should not be able to suffocate. This is the preferred sleeping position, until they are old enough to roll over. By the time they can roll over on their own, the risk of SIDS is basically gone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suffocation cannot be caused by the mattress unless you did something else wrong.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do need to make sure there is nothing (blankets, toys, etc.) for the kid to get tangled on, because suffocation is much more likely a result of this. The mattress isn't a culprit - and &quot;used air&quot; makes little sense otehr than when there is a suffocation risk - which was discussed. So if you place the baby properly, and there is nothing to suffocate on, ventilation of the mattress for a newborn is irrelevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;More info:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more information about SIDS, see here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/Sudden_Infant_Death_Syndrome.cfm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/Sudden_Infant_Death_Syndrome.cfm&lt;/a&gt; - it is the government site about the topic, and is quite comprehensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what to do to prevent suffocation, see here:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/firstaid_safe/home/safety_suffocation.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kidshealth.org/parent/firstaid_safe/home/safety_suffocation.html&lt;/a&gt; - a list of doctor recommendations to prevent suffocation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2856" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T19:19:53.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5352" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5355" CreationDate="2012-06-22T19:28:48.313" Score="11" ViewCount="1771" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is expecting, and as we plan, I want to know if there is anything that people were surprised by how expensive it is, or didn't realize they would need to pay for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2856" LastEditorUserId="2856" LastEditDate="2012-06-22T20:46:13.020" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T20:54:54.673" Title="What are the biggest expenses for a new baby?" Tags="|newborn|money|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5352" CreationDate="2012-06-22T19:28:48.373" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some first ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Insurance&lt;/strong&gt; / &lt;strong&gt;Health Care&lt;/strong&gt; for a baby. This can be expensive, especially for complications early on. Even if everything is fine, and you are insured, you need to add a dependent on your health plan.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Diapers&lt;/strong&gt;. They get expensive. Some sites say $30-$80/month for disposables.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clothes&lt;/strong&gt;. They grow out of everything, and if you didn't get hand-me downs or lots of clothes as gifts, this can get expensive quickly. (Even if you did, there are other things you may need.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Furniture&lt;/strong&gt;. Cradles, cribs, and many other things that you now need.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Rent&lt;/strong&gt;. Were you planning to stay in that 1-bedroom place forever? Now you can't. You need the kid to have their own area, if only so you can put them to sleep there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: Bold formatting added.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2856" LastEditorUserId="2856" LastEditDate="2012-06-22T20:41:20.577" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T20:41:20.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5352" CreationDate="2012-06-22T20:04:23.507" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This will vary wildly, depending on the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those who do not breastfeed, formula will likely be at the top of the list.  It's been a while, so I don't remember exactly, but I believe we were, at our peak, going through a tub of generic formula a week, putting us at roughly $80-100 in formula &lt;em&gt;each month&lt;/em&gt;.  This is way more expensive than even brand-name disposable diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those that do breastfeed, a pump and accessories can be expensive, but not everyone will need one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furniture can be expensive, depending on what you want, but it is a one-shot cost, that most parents will have planned out long before the birth.  The amount spent can vary wildly here, too, as factors such as co-sleeping, hand-me-downs, and alternative &quot;baby-friendly&quot; bedroom environments can all play a factor.  Of course, if you absolutely want that solid oak crib, with matching changing table, laundry hamper, and dresser, you'll be paying for it, but they're certainly not mandatory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clothes can be pricey, but, if like me, you live in a relatively suburban or even rural area, yard sales can make this a non-issue.  In our neighborhood, there are literally dozens of yard sales available each weekend during the spring/summer if you look for them (and often if you don't), and many will have children's clothes (and toys, furniture, and accessories) for a fraction of the cost of buying new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-22T20:33:14.393" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T20:33:14.393" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5352" CreationDate="2012-06-22T20:35:53.737" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having kids has been a fairly expensive endeavor for my family. We have two kids - a 2 year old and an 8 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our biggest 'expense' has been a &lt;strong&gt;loss of income&lt;/strong&gt; (of the mother). Although I am not a stay at home mother, time taken off for maternity leave, taking care of a newborn, etc. adds up. Between the two kids, we &quot;lost&quot; about 16 months of income. Depending on the country you live in, this will vary based on maternity benefits and child benefits offered to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another expense has been &lt;strong&gt;child care&lt;/strong&gt; - after I went back to work, we needed to pay for someone to watch the kids. Child care can be fairly expensive, again, depending on the country you are living in. Currently nearly half my income goes towards paying for the child care. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another expense was a &lt;strong&gt;larger house&lt;/strong&gt; and all the expenses that come with it - we needed an additional room in the house to be able to put the kids in it. The bigger house comes with its own higher expenses such as higher property taxes, utility bills, etc. Utility bills was a bit of an unexpected one for us since now there is someone (a nanny+kids) home all the time, the bills are naturally higher (versus my husband and I being at work all day long).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another expense was a &lt;strong&gt;bigger vehicle.&lt;/strong&gt; Putting two rear-facing car seats in a 2-door Cavalier can be fairly challenging. We've upgraded our car with the first one, and now are thinking of purchasing a mini-van - with the car seats, our car no longer can fit 5 people. (We also have more luggage when we go places like camping, so we just need a larger car now.) An additional car (or a bigger car) comes with its own expenses such as higher fuel costs, insurance, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some one-time expenses as well, such as &lt;strong&gt;crib, crib mattress, linens, stroller, car seats, high chair, baby carrier*, rocking chair*, breast pump*, nursing pillow*, formula*, playpen*, swing*, bouncer*&lt;/strong&gt;, etc. Of course there is also the &lt;strong&gt;diapers and the wipes&lt;/strong&gt;, regardless of whether or not you are using cloth or disposable diapers. Not to forget the incredible amount of &lt;strong&gt;toys, books, and educational material&lt;/strong&gt; that parents end up purchasing for their children (&quot;but they need books!&quot;). Lots of parent also invest in &lt;strong&gt;professional cameras or for professional photographers&lt;/strong&gt; for their babies when they are younger. I didn't even get our wedding pictures in print, but we've got baby pictures all over the house. Even if you don't get them, there will be grandparents and great-grandparents asking for them. Also, do you like taking videos of your child? If you don't have a &lt;strong&gt;video camera&lt;/strong&gt;, that'll be another expense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also little items that just add up: are you going to be purchasing &lt;strong&gt;baby thermometer, baby monitor, baby toothbrush, baby toothpaste, baby lotions, baby towels, baby blankets, baby diaper bag, baby bottles, baby dishes, baby cutlery, baby snack containers, baby food, baby gates and other baby-proofing items&lt;/strong&gt;? These can all be &quot;optional&quot;, but many parents do purchase these items - and small items add up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby clothing can be fairly inexpensive if acquired second-hand, but babies grow pretty fast. Our little one has a bigger collection of shoes than I do - and she only ever has two pairs that fit her at any time (sandals for summer/boots for winter + sneakers). It's also astounding how quickly they grow out of their clothes - it's not long before that extra-long-dress that used to go past her knees will look like a t-shirt or a mini-skirt gone wrong. Also, you are looking at purchasing &lt;strong&gt;fall jackets, winter coats, swim suits, life jacket&lt;/strong&gt; - nearly every season. Oh and weddings - invited to your brother's wedding and your little one is the flower girl? You'll be spending more than a couple of dollars on that dress and shoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the topic of clothing, don't forget that the mother is going to new a brand-new wardrobe.  She will need &lt;strong&gt;maternity clothes&lt;/strong&gt; no matter what, and even more so if she continues to work during her pregnancy. Post-pregnancy, it can take a few months for the mother to go back to her normal clothes - so she'll need those &quot;in-between&quot; clothes too. Some mothers take longer to lose the weight, at which point she'll need a new wardrobe. It is not uncommon for women's feet to grow permanently post-pregnancy, so she may need new shoes. I also had the minor expense of getting my wedding ring resized because my hands are just...fatter now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have national &lt;strong&gt;health insurance&lt;/strong&gt; so that wasn't a concern, but my husband and I also get &lt;strong&gt;life insurance&lt;/strong&gt; for the security of our kids - and they had to be relatively large amounts given the young age of our children. This is a monthly expense that will be a while before we rid of. Some people add disability or critical illness insurance, etc. on top of it - after all, you're not earning money or taking care of your kids when you're in a coma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of all this, add the pressures of saving up for your children's future (&lt;strong&gt;university education&lt;/strong&gt;), and yep, you start wondering if you're making less or the government is just taxing you more ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, everything you do gets more expensive now - you're no longer 2, but 3. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Denoting optional items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-06-22T21:20:36.677" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T21:20:36.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5350" CreationDate="2012-06-22T22:32:46.510" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/edit?hl=en&amp;amp;authkey=CPXE1bsO&amp;amp;pli=1#&quot;&gt;This awesome chart&lt;/a&gt; takes data from books like &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0449004023&quot;&gt;Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child&lt;/a&gt; and the experience of the members on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a199215/teaching_your_baby_and_toddler_to_sleep&quot;&gt;forum&lt;/a&gt; who developed it.  The totals on that chart are generally much greater than those listed by Dr. Ferber in his &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0743201639&quot;&gt;Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems&lt;/a&gt;, but consistent with other sleep books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child's total wake time sounds normal and, more importantly, &lt;em&gt;healthy&lt;/em&gt;.  Babies really need sleep to grow and process their experiences.  The wake time will dramatically increase over the next few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2012-06-22T22:32:46.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5357" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-23T11:51:38.563" Score="15" ViewCount="2632" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two month old daughter has sharp nails. Please suggest some safe way of cutting her nails so that she doesn't scratch herself. We bought a supposedly baby nail clipper but it is no different from a normal nail cutter (just has some cute drawings) and the baby doesn't hold still to allow us to cut her nails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2792" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-10T13:24:26.373" LastActivityDate="2023-01-22T05:09:52.357" Title="How to cut a newborn's nails?" Tags="|newborn|hygiene|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5357" CreationDate="2012-06-23T12:46:21.763" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your pediatrician can actually advise on this matter; ours told us that &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B004DFO57M&quot;&gt;baby scissors&lt;/a&gt; are safer than nail clippers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we never cut her nails while she is awake - she moves too much and well, she has better things to do. I always cut them when she is sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-06-23T12:46:21.763" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5357" CreationDate="2012-06-23T19:35:31.053" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the first few months we used to just bite our kids nails. I know it sounds weird, but one midwife and two aunties suggested this and it seems to be fairly well recognised way to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do want to use clippers, get the ones with a buffer - this stops you accidentally cutting into the baby's skin - which is quite easy to do if they are wriggling. Also use two people - one to hold their arm still, and the one wielding the clippers should hold the finger still - or do as @Swati said and wait for baby to fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-06-23T19:35:31.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5360" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-24T05:32:59.647" Score="5" ViewCount="18083" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 5-year-old girl has just cut her own and her younger sister's long beautiful hair. This is not the first time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her parents are mortified and concerned that the girls will be ridiculed at school. They have been to the hair dresser and now have buzz cuts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can they make this stop?  Is there anything that can be done to prevent ridicule at school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2012-06-25T02:53:01.883" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T13:33:48.783" Title="What can be done when a child cuts his or her hair?" Tags="|hair|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5361" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-24T08:17:39.187" Score="11" ViewCount="2661" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3.5-year-old son is obsessed with Spiderman comics, games and movies. He thinks he is Spiderman. He even has a 'girlfriend' in school whom he calls Mary Jane. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? Or should I be concerned?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2860" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-14T13:26:34.933" LastActivityDate="2022-03-04T09:50:15.127" Title="Should I be concerned about my 3.5-year-old believing he was Spiderman?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|development|imaginative-play|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5361" CreationDate="2012-06-24T14:28:13.113" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is the same, as was I.  It's pretty normal.  So normal that when I showed up to daycare with my mouth duct taped shut (because Spider-man doesn't have a mouth), the social workers understood.  The teachers still had to call them in- probably some kind of policy regarding duct tape on children's mouths- but it was more hilarious than anything else, apparently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="2423" LastEditDate="2012-06-24T14:52:13.967" LastActivityDate="2012-06-24T14:52:13.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5360" CreationDate="2012-06-24T16:06:20.100" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It happens to many kids. One of mine did the same - using a pair of scissors to cut about 12 inches off the sides of her hair. It looked terrible, and we pointed out her mistake :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will be made fun of for a short while, but this isn't the end of the world - if I were you I wouldn't worry about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she gets made fun of for a short while it will persuade her not to do out again.  Probably a good end result. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-06-24T22:22:38.213" LastActivityDate="2012-06-24T22:22:38.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5364" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5368" CreationDate="2012-06-25T04:41:53.253" Score="10" ViewCount="37125" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is almost 9 month old right now, but he still cannot crawl. All he can do is creeping when he want to get anythings in front of him. It seems that he will skip his crawling stage. Or maybe I'm too early to judge it ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other side, I heard from my neighborhood story about one of their children who skipping his crawling stage too that somehow his writing is very bad compared to their others two sons. They thought that this is caused by skipped crawling stage by their 2nd child, so that the brain development is not as good as their sons who are not skipping the crawling stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I want to ask are :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it true that when your son is skipping crawling stage means their will some differentiation in their brain development compared to the son who is not skipping the crawling stage? and how bad is the effect?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If it is true, how do we minimize those negative effect to the brain development?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any good studies/references will be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-06-25T12:38:50.340" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T02:02:11.833" Title="Does skipping crawling stage affect your child brain development?" Tags="|infant|crawling|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="91" CreationDate="2012-06-25T04:52:58.383" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 12 to 14 months, elimination communication (EC) is still definitely an alternative to 100% diaper dependence and poopy diapers. EC is not potty training - it's just opening up to the idea that same with feeding and sleeping, your baby is actually trying to communicate with you that he or she needs to go. It's not about performance. Do it when you can. We EC'ed our boy since birth and we've only had to change a handful of poopy diapers since. &#xA;At this age, babies are more mobile and have probably lost the sensitivity to wetness, so a modified EC approach would work best. Don't skip the basics! Spend some diaper-free observation time learning his or her body's rhythms and any signals (grunt, fussiness, suddenly stopping play and staring, etc). A good idea would be to switch to cloth diapers so that both you and your baby can tell when your little one is wet. Get your baby used to sitting on the potty by sitting him on it while he's still wearing his diaper as a start, then remove the diaper later on in the process. My website,  &lt;a href=&quot;http://ecsimplified.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;EC Simplified&lt;/a&gt; is a practical resource for EC, you can start with&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2863" LastEditorUserId="48" LastEditDate="2014-08-08T05:41:35.947" LastActivityDate="2014-08-08T05:41:35.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5360" CreationDate="2012-06-25T07:15:00.810" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let them learn the lesson the hard way. After all, the damage is not permanent although it will take a long time to grow long hair again. If they mess with their hair, then they've got to take the consequence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older sister should learn from this that choices have consequences. &lt;strong&gt;Stupid choices have stupid consequences.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, the little sister didn't cut her own hair but she let her sister cut her hair - hopefully she'll learn to not let her sister cut her hair again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T07:15:00.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5357" CreationDate="2012-06-25T10:26:41.403" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found baby clippers easier to use and less harmful than scissors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2865" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-10T13:27:54.673" LastActivityDate="2019-05-10T13:27:54.673" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5364" CreationDate="2012-06-25T12:35:44.457" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apparently this is a common theory.  There's a similar question &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/400_does-skipping-crawling-have-an-effect-on-mental-development_12147467_962.bc&quot;&gt;on another site&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Skipping crawling has become widely acknowledged as developmentally normal.  In every reference I have seen on developmental milestones for babies it mentions that many babies never crawl.  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/infant-development-9/stages-of-development&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt; for one example.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_developmental-milestones-crawling_6501.bc&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; from babycenter on crawling talks about the alternatives these babies often develop - bottom scooting, rolling (not just tummy to back or back to tummy, but as a means of movement from place to place), or slithering on the stomach.  From the perspective of many the important thing is coordination and the desire for locomotion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=crawling-may-be-unnecessary&quot;&gt;This Scientific American article&lt;/a&gt; cites studies which show that in some cultures babies are actually discouraged from crawling to prevent them from contracting diseases spread by ground pathogens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet not all doctors think that skipping crawling, scooting, or dragging themselves (all are seen as equally valuable) is a good thing.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/do-babies-need-to-crawl&quot;&gt;Parenting magazine&lt;/a&gt; has an overview of the debate, which is significant in the pediatrics community.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9794945&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; in Pediatrics noted that back sleepers do attain physical milestones such as crawling later than stomach sleepers, but all walk around the same time.  The study did not look into fine motor skills required for tasks such as holding a pen to write.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2001/04/29/us/baby-not-crawling-reason-seems-to-be-less-tummy-time.html?pagewanted=all&amp;amp;src=pm&quot;&gt;Another overview of the studies&lt;/a&gt; can be found in the New York Times.  Note that no doctors are worried about &quot;brain development&quot; as you state, but rather fine motor development and muscle tone.  As the NY Times article states, the best indicator of developmental delays is a lack of language acquisition.  Also do note that many back sleepers &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; crawl, but later than the milestone guidelines (developed when tummy sleeping was the norm) state is normal.  This is true of rolling as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is the case - and evidence seems to favor it not being the case - that crawling/scooting/dragging helps fine motor skills and coordination in an essential way, the fix would be to encourage children to learn to use those skills with other physical tasks.  For example encourage fine motor skills by working on different kinds of grasps.  Encourage coordination with early gymnastics, ballet, or other physical activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T12:35:44.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5364" CreationDate="2012-06-25T12:44:06.913" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was able to find a lot of speculation that skipping crawling is bad, but very little actual evidence.  Instead, I found studies that showed the opposite: there is no real difference between children who skip crawling and those who do not, at least in terms of other major developmental milestones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm posting my answer from the related Skeptics.se question, which asked about specific claims that crawling allows children to develop past the symmetric tonic neck reflex, and that failure to do so could result in retention of this reflex, which could inhibit later development and motor coordination:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was not able to find evidence supporting this theory.  The closest I could find was a reference to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medcentral.org/main/Whatssoimportantaboutcrawling.aspx&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; in the same book cited in the article you linked:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The book &quot;Stopping ADHD&quot; cites a study by Dr. Miriam Bender that found that at least 75 percent of the learning-disabled people surveyed had an immature symmetric tonic neck reflex contributing to their disability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is impossible from this statement to identify any positive causality between lack of crawling and ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.centeredge.com/ArticPDF/STNR.pdf&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; paper suggests that it is lack of &lt;em&gt;&quot;tummy time&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, rather than crawling, that leads to retention of STNR, and that insufficient &quot;tummy time&quot; makes learning how to crawl more difficult and frustrating for the infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=24&amp;amp;ved=0CC0QFjADOBQ&amp;amp;url=http://www.internationalsped.com/documents/%283%29TaylorADHD.doc&amp;amp;ei=YGv_TYiWMoS6tgetkey-Dg&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNGc4HIyfRc3inNDTSTTU7zBX0Ox6Q&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; paper suggests that the link between reflex retention and ADHD is not specific to the STNR, and that most of the typical ADHD symptoms are more likely to be associated with retention of earlier-stage reflexes (primarily the Moro reflex). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The number of children skipping crawling seems to be on the increase, and this is likely due to the movement away from allowing infants to sleep on their bellies in an effort to reduce SIDS (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2001/04/29/us/baby-not-crawling-reason-seems-to-be-less-tummy-time.html?src=pm&quot;&gt;LINK&lt;/a&gt;).  Note that a study referenced in that article found that there was no difference in other developmental milestones for the children who either learned to crawl later or skipped it altogether:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A long-term study of child&#xA;  development, intended to follow nearly&#xA;  15,000 infants from birth until&#xA;  adulthood, began in 1990, just as&#xA;  Britain began its Back to Sleep&#xA;  campaign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Dr. Peter Fleming of the University of&#xA;  Bristol, a director of the British&#xA;  study, said that at first doctors and&#xA;  parents were wary about the new&#xA;  advice, and many doctors suggested&#xA;  that the babies lie on their sides.&#xA;  But gradually, as their fears were&#xA;  allayed and data accumulated tying&#xA;  sudden infant death syndrome to&#xA;  sleeping on the stomach, virtually all&#xA;  doctors began urging parents to keep&#xA;  their babies on their backs. The&#xA;  British study tracked this change. In&#xA;  the early 1990's, when most babies&#xA;  slept on their stomachs, they turned&#xA;  over and crawled when the books said&#xA;  they should. Within the last five&#xA;  years, as parents uniformly began&#xA;  putting babies on their backs, more&#xA;  and more babies did not roll over or&#xA;  crawl on schedule, and increasing&#xA;  numbers never crawled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But, Dr. Fleming said, the babies were&#xA;  normal by every other measure. ''In&#xA;  medicine, whenever you introduce&#xA;  something new, you worry that it might&#xA;  cause problems,'' he said. But, he&#xA;  added, that did not happen. ''When the&#xA;  cohort was 18 months old we looked&#xA;  again at developmental milestones and&#xA;  there was absolutely no difference in&#xA;  these children's development,'' Dr.&#xA;  Fleming said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=crawling-may-be-unnecessary&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; suggests that crawling may have become a common developmental milestone only relatively recently, as leaving a child to crawl on the ground was frequently either unsafe, unsanitary, or both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There seems to be little to no supporting evidence for the theory that crawling is a crucial process for moving past the STNR, and the problems cited in conjunction with late retention of the STNR seem to be correlation without causality.  This is supported by the similar correlation with late retention of earlier reflexes, as well as the study showing changes in crawling milestone achievement did not impact other milestones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-06-25T14:03:58.510" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T14:03:58.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5370" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5371" CreationDate="2012-06-25T13:54:53.340" Score="5" ViewCount="27718" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe my child has the &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogginaboutbabies.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/wonder-week-19/&quot;&gt;mental knowledge&lt;/a&gt; necessary to roll over.  My child can do a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_should-i-worry-that-my-4-month-old-cant-do-mini-pushups-yet_2077.bc&quot;&gt;mini-pushup&lt;/a&gt; where head and chest are lifted and the upper body is supported by the forearms.  She also &quot;swims&quot; her legs when placed on her tummy.  My child also has the instinct to move to get a toy.  If I place a toy in front of her and just out of reach, then provide resistance on her feet she will scootch/army crawl (with my help) to get the toy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However if I place a toy out of reach to one side as is suggested to encourage rolling from tummy to back, my child simply ignores it.  Instead of rolling she eventually fusses to be either picked up or placed on her back again where she can see the world more easily.  Besides waiting until she does it on her own, is there anything I can do to encourage her to roll?  We provide tummy time at least once during all awake times, adding up to at least the minimum recommended 20 minutes daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T22:08:28.293" Title="How can I encourage my 4 month old to roll over from tummy to back?" Tags="|infant|gross-motor-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5370" CreationDate="2012-06-25T14:17:07.780" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We do some practice rolls with our 4 month-er. This is simply a matter of putting her on her back (or front) and rolling her over by pulling her arm and leg or pushing her bottom, while avoiding that she gets her arm tangled in the process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She still cannot roll, but she certainly tries to and she also uses her attempts to roll as a way of moving (very slowly) around the room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some tutorials on the web on this. I can't find the one we read, but here's another: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/174561-how-to-teach-your-baby-to-roll-over/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.livestrong.com/article/174561-how-to-teach-your-baby-to-roll-over/&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T14:17:07.780" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5360" CreationDate="2012-06-25T14:54:32.490" Score="-1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How can they make this stop? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remove the scissors from the house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there anything that can be done to prevent ridicule at school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not really. Kids have been and always will be mean. Though at 5 years old, likely not yet in the severe ridicule stage (methinks her peers will be more like 'whoa...let me feel your buzz cut!'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, hair grows back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T14:54:32.490" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5361" CreationDate="2012-06-25T16:00:38.377" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;This role playing is normal, common, and essential for skills building. In imaginative role play children get to practice dialog, politeness, meanness, being the authority (parent), and all sort of other social interactions they have been exposed to. They also will seek out and gain knowledge on the subject of their role play to enable it to be more fun and accurate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spiderman is pretty famous around our house as well. My son and nephews frequently play as Spiderman.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are concerned that there is too much emphasis on Spiderman, first look at the media, TV shows, movies, commercials, coloring books, books, backpacks, shoes, etc. that he is exposed to and decide if Spiderman is over represented. Take appropriate action.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider introducing other roles for your son to play. Firefighter, cook, construction worker... It is helpful if you can create an environment that supports the new roles. A fireman's hat, a toy kitchen (or some unbreakables from your own kitchen), if you have a sandbox prompt him to play construction, and since he already loves it and the movie is being heavily promoted you should find a Spiderman costume for him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel he is too obsessive, if his focus on Spiderman causes disruptions or inappropriate behavior, start by coaching him on when he is free to play Spiderman and when he shouldn't. If it persists as a problem after this, find local help to advise you; a teacher, or doctor, or counselor, etc. But remember not to stigmatize the play. Keep a positive tone about the play and have negative comments about inappropriate times. An example from another context: &amp;quot;I love your singing son, you are so good, but let's not sing at dinnertime.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some resources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.onestepahead.com/custserv/shop_smarter_article.jsp?pageName=Role_Play&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pretend Play: The Magical Benefits of Role Play&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidsgoapeblog.com/children-benefit-role-play/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How Children Benefit From Role Play&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nifplay.org/states_play.html#_5&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Imaginative and pretend play&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T16:00:38.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5370" CreationDate="2012-06-25T18:38:49.350" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I helped both my kids practice rolling over.  I'm sure they would have learned on their own anyway, but maybe it helped them do it a few days earlier.  In any case, getting in the habit of spending some &quot;teaching time&quot; with the child early can only be a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We showed them how to move their limbs.  Also we modelled it by rolling around ourselves.  That probably helped stretch and tune the muscles but didn't work to get them to roll over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What ended up doing the trick with my son was to put a noisy toy about 2-3 feet away to his right or left, with him on his back.  The sound attracted his attention, and he crunched his legs up and swung over on his side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used that same approaches with my daughter, but for her it ended up being the cat walking around.  She twisted and turned to try to look at it, and in so doing sorted out how to flip over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T18:38:49.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5357" CreationDate="2012-06-25T18:52:12.280" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually we didn't like the baby clippers (the ones with the buffers) because it made it harder to see what you're cutting.  We just use a regular (small) nail clipper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing it while they sleep works, but risks waking them.  That's not an option for my poor sleep-deprived wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we find works best is to do it during or after feedings.  The child is occupied and generally contented due to the food.  When the kids were infants my wife would often clip the nails while I was holding them and feeding with a bottle.  Once they got older she did while they're strapped into the high chair and occupied with dry finger foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my son graduated from the high chair (and liable to tantrum if forced into anything), my wife has to negotiate clippings with him.  Generally he can be bribed into compliance with TV and a bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T18:52:12.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5378" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5382" CreationDate="2012-06-25T19:17:49.000" Score="14" ViewCount="1518" Body="&lt;p&gt;My very strong-willed 2 yr 10 mo. old son is curious about everything in his environment, which crops up as a problem now and then if something delicate, expensive, or dangerous comes into it.  Eye glasses, cell phones, computer electronics, tools...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll take the item and start examining it; sometimes this .  Invariably an adult will cry out, &quot;Put that down!&quot; or similar, but rather than obey his instinct is to hide the object behind his back and/or run away.  Then, if chased, he &lt;strong&gt;throws&lt;/strong&gt; the item (discarding the evidence of his misdeed?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to hear if other parents have had this problem, how they dealt with it effectively?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[Update]&#xA;So what I've taken to doing these past couple days when he takes something is, &quot;Oh! , do you know what that is called?&quot;  This gives him pause.  &quot;What?&quot;  Then I tell him the name as I move closer to him.  &quot;Do you want to know where that goes?&quot;  I put my hand on his shoulder or back (just in case).  &quot;Yeah!&quot;  Then with my other hand I point to a specific spot on a table or desk.  &quot;That goes right &lt;strong&gt;here&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;  Then when he puts it down I give him a &quot;Good job!&quot; or &quot;Thank you!&quot; and either pick him up or give him a hug.  This has been working well so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As per some of the suggested answers, when new things come into the house I'm also going to try to proactively give them to him to look while I can supervise him, on the theory that once his curiosity is satisfied the danger will lessen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[Update #2]&#xA;He's now nearly 8 years old and has a little sister a couple years younger.  The technique I described in Update #1 mostly worked (as long as we didn't freak out and directed him elsewhere, he'd lose interest in the item).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HOWEVER, this same behavior still crops up used with his sister.  He'll snatch some random item she's interested in - a toy, blanket, article of clothes, whatever - and run off with it chortling as she chases, screams, and cries.  (And she in turn has learned to do the same to him.)  I'd actually forgotten about this earlier behavior but in hindsight it's probably the same thing.  We've had to just instill in him that the &quot;Snatch Game&quot; is one of the worst misbehaviors he can do with a very stern talking to, that police throw people in jail for doing it, etc.; I can now just ask, &quot;You're not playing the snatch game again, are you?&quot; and he immediately hands the item back to his sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, this was a tricky behavior to punish because half the motivation is to stir up a reaction, and a harsh punishment (or threat thereof) is an acceptably exciting reaction to get.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastEditorUserId="2849" LastEditDate="2017-08-25T19:48:26.200" LastActivityDate="2017-08-25T19:48:26.200" Title="How to handle a defiant 2-year old when he takes something he shouldn't?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4193" CreationDate="2012-06-25T19:32:25.430" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that running away isn't an effective option, and certainly fighting back is even worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might encourage him to stand his ground and just firmly and loudly tell the other child to stop.  Then if that doesn't work, to call &quot;Help!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T19:32:25.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="420" CreationDate="2012-06-25T20:03:03.830" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been trying to deal with this problem ourselves.  My son is nearly 2 yr 10 months, my daughter is 11 months.  She is fascinated with her older brother, but he wants nothing to do with her most of the time, so will shove her out of the way, knock her over, grab her toys away, or even hit her on the head.  It's a major problem and we've been trying every trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A large part of it seems to be jealousy.  He'll even admit this if questioned (but I wonder if he is just saying that because it's an answer that &quot;works&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've mainly been following an approach such as the one suggested by Hannibal, but time outs don't seem to faze him much any more.  Sometimes we require him to apologize, but I don't think he really understands the purpose of that so it tends to get ritualized; now we've been using it more as an optional thing he can do to lessen his punishment.  We do a LOT of explaining about good manners vs. bad manners.  We can get him to promise, promise promise not to touch or hit her, and then 2 minutes later: bonk! waah!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple days ago I tried something new.  We got one of his stuffed animals and pretended that was his sister, and played at giving her bottles and soothing her when she cried.  It gave a neutral way to talk about being nice vs. being mean.  I voiced the baby cries, which was a nice change for me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then we've noticed him being more empathetic to her.  It's only been a few days so we'll see how it goes, but there's an increase in good big-brother actions like bringing her toys or pacifiers and reduction in bad behaviors.  Just like with the doll, we have started giving him extra feedback about how his actions please or displease his sister.  Hopefully the extra attention we're giving him when he does good things will be positive reinforcement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T20:03:03.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5378" CreationDate="2012-06-25T20:10:11.893" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this problem very well with my 2 year old girl! She's very curious- which is natural- with all &quot;grown up&quot; things, like cell phones, glasses, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't found a cure all yet- in fact I don't know that there is one! How ever, we have found something that works a lot of the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she grabs expensive items, it's our first reaction to want to say loudly, &quot;Put that down!&quot;, but if we can control ourselves and not do that it helps. Then we just quietly and casually walk over to her, get down at her level, and tell her in a firm but not angry or loud voice that she needs to give the item to us, because it's for adults and not her. If she doesn't hand us the item, we will remind her that if she doesn't listen to us, she'll have to go to her room. Then we'll count to 3, and remove the item from her hands and pop her in her room for 2 minutes if she doesn't comply. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said, it doesn't work 100% of the time, but it does work &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; of the time. Hope that helps :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2868" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T20:10:11.893" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5378" CreationDate="2012-06-25T20:25:04.800" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;General Rule:&lt;/strong&gt; Positive reinforcement works well, negative reinforcements makes children not want to get caught. Right now, the only positive feedback that exists is the attention the child gets for throwing the items, and you want to ensure that they get the reward of your attention not for misbehaving, but for acting properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suggestion:&lt;/strong&gt; In this case, perhaps you can try modeling the behavior with something that isn't a problem. Watch the child pick something innocuous up, and gently tell the child that they should put it down. When they do so, reward them for listening. Reinforce this reward for listening every time they put something down when asked - the behavior is a general one, and you want to reinforce it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child does not obey, the reward is withheld, obviously, and a small punishment for not obeying can be applied - but remember that negative reinforcement isn't an effective way to get a child to obey over time periods longer than a couple minutes - it's a way to motivate them to try to not get caught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2856" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T20:25:04.800" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5352" CreationDate="2012-06-25T20:54:54.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Child care is by far the largest expense for us.  We live in a major metropolitan area and it costs ~1350 per month for full time child care in a montessori center.  We use cloth diapers exclusively, breastfeed, shop craigslist for items that are safe to buy used, and cook all of our meals at home in order to afford to be able to send him to what we feel is the best educational child care setting available in our area.  Before he got close to arriving, I had no idea how much it would cost and how strongly I would feel about where he would be cared for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our child seems to think sticks and rocks are more fun than elmo toys, so toys have not been a big expense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Health care is another large one, the labor and delivery out of pocket cost was $5500, even with decent insurance.  12 months later and ear tubes went in for another $1500 out of pocket.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2357" LastActivityDate="2012-06-25T20:54:54.673" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5378" CreationDate="2012-06-25T21:07:05.487" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The working strategies for my child were the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lock stuff away&lt;/strong&gt;: Dangerous things and things we don't trust our child to handle are locked away, i.e. put behind doors, on high shelves etc. Especially the latter category tends to get smaller over time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Practice&lt;/strong&gt;: For many things a version suitable for children exists, such as knives, scissors and the like. Practice with your child and let him play with them, so he gets confident using it (and you get confident in him). Also let him help you, when you use things, e.g. when you set the table. That way he is aware what things are actually for and he knows he is allowed use them, when appropriate - for instance I no longer put my mobile away, since my son knows that we cannot call his grandparents anymore when it breaks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let him be&lt;/strong&gt;: Let's face it - most things are actually replaceable and often we are only concerned about inconvenience: If a flower pot is turned upside down, so what - let him help you clean it up. If touching a cactus is unpleasent, but not dangerous - let him, he'll notice. If an everyday plate breaks, it breaks - no big deal. In my experience there are surpringly few things that are actually damaged beyond repair.&#xA;&lt;em&gt;If you notice however that your child has actually fun breaking things&lt;/em&gt;, react accordingly, e.g. let him only use the &quot;baby&quot;-plates, do not allow him to help you etc..&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stay calm&lt;/strong&gt;: Already mentioned, but cannot be stressed enough - if you stay calm, so will your child which lowers the chance of damage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let him know that &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; means &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;: With the above hints, &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; can become a relatively infrequent word, which means it is more effective. If my child still doesn't put something down that is immediately dangerous or belongs to somebody else after the first &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt;, I'll take it from him and lateron, when things calmed down, explain the why. In less urgent cases I'll announce consequences (e.g. if it's a book, then reading before bed might get skipped). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially your child should know his boundaries and respect your word - getting to this point however goes beyond the scope of this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2785" LastEditorUserId="2831" LastEditDate="2012-06-26T08:08:55.783" LastActivityDate="2012-06-26T08:08:55.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5385" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-26T00:40:28.510" Score="7" ViewCount="293" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter seems to be starting to teethe. She's 7 weeks old and hasn't quite figured out teething toys and we don't want to start with drugs or other medications. We've had numerous friends suggest to us getting an amber necklace/bracelet for my daughter to wear. I'm feeling somewhat sceptical about the whole succinic acid thing. Wondering if anyone here has had any experience with them or links to any science/studies behind them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="69" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-06-26T05:18:12.047" LastActivityDate="2012-06-27T14:15:24.613" Title="Is an &quot;Amber Necklace&quot; effective for helping with teething?" Tags="|infant|newborn|teething|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5385" CreationDate="2012-06-26T01:12:17.553" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;These necklaces do not work to help teething.  Skeptics.SE had an identical question and it was determined that there is &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/1856/do-amber-necklaces-work-for-pain-relief&quot;&gt;no reliable evidence backing the claim&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2012-06-26T05:19:56.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5385" CreationDate="2012-06-26T02:18:34.453" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read and seen on T.V., information that says they definitely do not work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The anaesthetic properties in the amber do not come into effect until the amber becomes super heated, and that's not going to happen in your child's mouth! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also be very concerned about the choking hazard they present, and the risk of strangulation they cause. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that's just my 2 cents... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2868" LastActivityDate="2012-06-26T02:18:34.453" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5388" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-26T02:58:47.897" Score="11" ViewCount="3606" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a mom who has made two changes to my children's education so far. I was not satisfied with the level of education of school at the first school so we switched to a more rigorous academic environment. Unfortunately, the fit was horrible at the second school, including the teachers, admin and most importantly friends. So we went back to the first school and are wrapping up our second year there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The learning is still not at the level we would like, but our kids are happy and have a sense of belonging. I also have made friends with other parents who seem to be like minded individuals overall. I often think of the saying that &quot;If you surround yourself with bright people, you become smarter.&quot; There are minimal bright kids at the school. I want the best for my kids in all aspects of their development but feel that they are getting cut short on the academics. By moving them, we would all be cutting ourselves short on the social side of things. Should I stick it out and supplement their education from home? I am a teacher by profession but feel stressed out in having to play mom and teacher, like trying to teach your kid how to drive. I don't want to make the wrong decision and have to go back a third time...that would be terrible!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2869" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-06-26T05:12:43.817" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T20:57:05.580" Title="Should I supplement children's education at home?" Tags="|primary-schooler|homeschooling|education|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5388" CreationDate="2012-06-26T08:15:52.317" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;From moving various schools myself when I was younger I would say that changing schools is a very big upset to learning - the child takes time to make new friends, settle in, understand the new curriculum etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can supplement their learning at home I would recommend doing that - being a teacher you will probably be in a good place here to see what areas they aren't getting at school and building on those at home. Especially if the current school has things mostly right but just isn't quite hitting the spot in some areas, this will be the least likely to cause issues, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get buy in from the school to discuss the extent of their curriculum with you you should be able to build on that to where you want their learning to get to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-06-26T08:15:52.317" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5388" CreationDate="2012-06-26T14:16:29.140" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The upset of changing schools now may be worth it in the long run. In 10 years, your child will be academically the person the school and the friends/peers have made them. Any supplementing will be additive, but not transformative, and has limited effect as the child gets older and develops their own motivations. Any academic motivations your kid has should be reinforced by the peers, not belittled, and the peer group and level of discussion in their classes will determine that, to a large extent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any of the friends will have been made, lost, forgotten, and regained at least once or twice. Are there any more options than just these 2 schools? The kids will make new friends wherever they go - and if, for whatever reason, you won't make friends with the other parents, that may be an acceptable loss to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2856" LastActivityDate="2012-06-26T14:16:29.140" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5392" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5393" CreationDate="2012-06-26T15:59:39.653" Score="8" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few things that I've been doing with my toddler daughter, that are obviously beyond her ability to understand at this point. For example, I've been identifying her feet/hands/etc as left and right ever since she was born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it a waste of time/energy to point these things out well before she's able to understand, or might there be some gain even if she doesn't completely get it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2012-06-26T16:45:15.867" LastActivityDate="2012-06-30T07:56:12.150" Title="Advantage to introducing things early?" Tags="|development|learning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5392" CreationDate="2012-06-26T17:32:16.697" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not at all.  It's amazing what they pick up from hearing you long before they can even communicate themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really &lt;strong&gt;anything&lt;/strong&gt; you teach them at this young age is valuable.  She is hearing your voice, how words sound, and learning to associate your words with touches or pictures or objects.  And she's learning how to learn.  All micro-skills she needs and can build on.  If she picks up the names of her body parts or left/right or whatever in the process, that's a bonus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastEditorUserId="2849" LastEditDate="2012-06-30T07:56:12.150" LastActivityDate="2012-06-30T07:56:12.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5388" CreationDate="2012-06-26T17:36:31.673" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're struggling with similar questions ourselves. Our children are still in grade school and we made a cross country move this year. One of our kids adopted wonderfully and is happy both academically and socially. The other has been struggling with both. We're fortunate to have a few school options (albeit at a cost given they are private schools).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I think is an important aspect to consider is one that it sounds like you already have--education is but one part of schooling. I know that sounds a little bizarre, but a big part of school--especially as they enter middle/jnr high--is maturing as a person. So that includes all the non-academic elements--namely socialization. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think it's easier to supplement academics than it is to supplement social interactions. We've decided we need our kids to be comfortable at school. When they are comfortable, they'll be much more open to academics and at that point, we can gauge how they are doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, as a parent, I'm also slowly coming to terms with my own beliefs that rigorous academics in k-12, at least in the USA, is a bit lopsided. We have extremely strong emphasis on reading, writing and arithmetic in this country and tend to base the study on repetition, memory, test taking and textbooks. This is not ideal for a lot of students, who would prefer and thrive much better with a broader curriculum with a focus on more hands-on interaction and discovery. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure I answered your question, though. I guess I'd say that if you feel they are comfortable in their school, that's good. That's important. Give it a year to see how they are doing academically. If you feel they are getting lazy and could do more, I think you could certainly look at supplementing it. Perhaps a few after-school programs. Focus on non-school coursework perhaps (music? art? science?). Maybe enroll them in a local library kids book club or reading group. Or just take them to plenty of museums. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-06-26T17:36:31.673" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5395" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-26T18:26:59.787" Score="8" ViewCount="11727" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless he's going swimming, my 3 1/2 year old son always wears a long sleeve shirt and pants (not jeans and not button down shirts). I'm not expecting a 3 1/2 year old for logic and but I don't think this is merely psychosis, just stubbornness and a desire to assert his own will.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think he needs to wear less clothes, especially as hot as the summer has been and his clothes are just plain old wearing out. We've got 3x more t-shirts than long sleeve shirts and they've never, ever been worn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's a good way to coax a little man out of his style, just for the sake of prudence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2871" LastEditorUserId="2871" LastEditDate="2012-06-26T18:33:26.223" LastActivityDate="2018-08-02T17:49:33.607" Title="3 year boy old will not wear shorts or t-shirts WHY?" Tags="|pre-schooler|clothes|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5395" CreationDate="2012-06-26T20:00:51.507" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you don't buy long sleeved shirts and trousers he won't be able to wear them. If you want to limit what a child wears, it is easier to only give them choices which you approve of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the trousers are wearing out, perhaps they should be thrown away and new ones not bought until the winter. For ones that aren't wearing out, hide them away during the summer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tend to move clothes into and out of the attic as appropriate for the seasons, not because the kids demand them, but just to save space, and this means that through the summer they have summer clothes, and in the winter they have winter clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may seem a bit dictatorial, but it actually makes things pretty easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-06-26T20:00:51.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5395" CreationDate="2012-06-27T00:11:15.833" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be sure that you are certain about what the common factor is. It might appear to be the long vs. short but it might also be a texture thing. For a while my son would refuse to wear anything but soft clothing most of which were long like sweat pants and warm long sleeved shirts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to disagree with what Rory said though. I reserve such draconian measures for the things that really matter like sugar and TV. It's important that our children feel like they have some control over their lives so I find it important to give in on the things that don't matter and take a stand when it does. Pick your battles as there will be many.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end our son simply got over his insistence upon only wearing soft clothes. Whether it was due to him growing out of it or our parenting is impossible to know but here are the things that we do when it comes to his resistance to new things (like food).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not make a big deal about it. I find telling him not to do something he likes doing only encourages him to do it. &quot;No shorts today? Ok. What do you want to wear?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give him an out. If you re-enforce the idea that he may change his mind later then it allows him to come to it on his own without feeling forced into something he doesn't like. &quot;Ok, maybe tomorrow.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bribery. Give him some sort of direct incentive to try something new. This doesn't mean &quot;you can have a cookie if you wear shorts&quot; because that is indirect. Does he have a special character or type of toy he really likes? &quot;Do you want to get some Lightning McQueen shorts &amp;amp; t-shirt today?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;If you try it you will like it&quot;. This one is last because it has more to do with food and he got it from his school but it's done wonders. Just getting him to try a food is usually the hardest part so when he brought this little saying into his life (said with a bit of a sing-song aspect) it was a game changer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These aren't really parenting techniques as they are communication techniques. Specifically non-violent communication which I have found to be my best tool for parenting a stubborn three year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2873" LastActivityDate="2012-06-27T00:11:15.833" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5388" CreationDate="2012-06-27T01:48:15.337" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many reasons for prioritizing social development over academics. Just letting kids be kids-- learning social skills in an environment where they feel accepted-- is a critical part of development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is happy at their current school, and their friends are nice kids - easy going, well mannered, the type of personalities that you don't mind your kids associating with (forget about academic ability for a minute), then it is likely beneficial to let them thrive where they are happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is a teacher, so I understand the difficulties of juggling your professional role and opinion with your deeply personal role as a parent. You may never be completely satisfied with the education provided by your kid's school (even if you work at that school!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always supplement their academic learning at home. &lt;em&gt;Parents should always be educating their kids regardless of the school's programs&lt;/em&gt;, the environment and guidance that parents provide has the biggest impact on a child's learning. It could be with more formal extension or catch up work as needed, but also by educating our kids about the world around us as we observe things and relate them to our kid's experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, school, including university, only really teach us &lt;em&gt;how to learn&lt;/em&gt; and analyse the world around us, and how to get along in a society of peers. These are the essential academic and social skills we need as adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user271" LastEditorUserId="3495" LastEditDate="2012-12-05T20:57:05.580" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T20:57:05.580" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="452" CreationDate="2012-06-27T05:07:50.707" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Clapping Games are a great way to start, simply clap a rhythm and see if she can repeat it.  However, she is only one.  You might simply try playing games with her dancing to the music to just get a sense of fast and slow.  Can she identify these terms?  Then also identifying soft and loud and finally, high and low sounds.  As she grows older, rhythm will come.  Especially if you are working on it now.  Generally introducing her to the terminology of music, a wide variety of music and beginning to foster an appreciation of many genres of music at this age will help to get her going in developing her passion.  I've written quite a few articles that list games you can play, books to use, resources etc. for babies, toddlers etc. in terms of music appreciation and understanding.  Check out my website, pinchxeverthing.blogspot.com.  In particular, you might be interested in &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/06/music-skills-for-toddlers-introducing.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/06/music-skills-for-toddlers-introducing.html&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/06/musical-skills-for-toddlers-loud-and.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/06/musical-skills-for-toddlers-loud-and.html&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-06-27T05:07:50.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5400" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-27T06:58:26.497" Score="1" ViewCount="1842" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever I take my 3.5-year-old nephew to some unknown place or somewhere he is not comfortable, he puts his fingers in his ears as if he wants to avoid a loud noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if I take him to some dark place he does the same thing. Initially I saw him putting his fingers in his ears while traveling by train, then he started doing the same thing in the car, bus, even in my home when he was watching a horror movie. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to know how to come over this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2877" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-14T12:35:25.963" LastActivityDate="2019-08-14T12:35:25.963" Title="How to stop a 3½-year-old from putting fingers in his ears when he is not comfortable?" Tags="|pre-schooler|extended-family|habits|ear|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5401" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-27T10:40:50.140" Score="14" ViewCount="15349" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 36 month old boy will happily walk or ride on my bike to the creche (daycare), will lead me right up to the door of his room, as if he  is looking forward to the day's activities. Then just as we open the door of his playroom, and he sees the other kids inside, he will have a meltdown. He want to go home, needs to be picked up, tries to leave, cries &amp;amp; screams etc. This happens almost every time, for at least the past  year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will usually calm down after a few minutes if distracted by the daycare attendants with toys etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know he has a good time there and like some of the other kids. If we visit during the day, he seems perfectly happy and engaged with other boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is only in daycare on Tuesdays and Thursdays (from 9am-6pm).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His other peers seem to handle the 'drop-off' much more maturely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In light of some of the answers, I'll add a bit more information. We usually try and not make a big deal of the separation, just give him a hug, tell him we'll be back later and slip out when he's distracted. Never cajoling/pleading or bribing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="744" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-09T13:08:43.833" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T13:08:43.833" Title="3 year old has a fit when arriving at daycare" Tags="|toddler|daycare|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5400" CreationDate="2012-06-27T13:04:46.793" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a reason you want to overcome this? Is it a medical necessity? Is it harming him in anyway?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that it is just a way for him to cope, which can be a good thing. Unless there is some harm to the child, I don't see why you would want to fix this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, if it is really concerning you, offer him another way to cope. This could be hugging/holding him when he is exposed to such situations. Try distracting him, or maybe letting him carry his favorite toy around (which is typically comforting). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-06-27T13:04:46.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5401" CreationDate="2012-06-27T13:26:47.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is remarkably common. One of ours had the same problem - seems like a form of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002509/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;separation anxiety&lt;/a&gt; - where she would get really upset as she realised we would leave her there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working with the daycare assistants, we would try and make sure she was distracted while we slipped out. It was seeing us leaving that was the problem. Once we were gone she was always fine, and when we came back for her we would let her know then that we would always come back and point out that the same thing would happen the next day at nursery. After doing this for a few weeks the problem went away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the linked website:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;From 8 - 14 months, children often become frightened when they meet&#xA;  new people or visit new places. They recognize their parents as&#xA;  familiar and safe. When separated from their parents, particularly&#xA;  when away from home, they feel threatened and unsafe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage. It helped keep our&#xA;  ancestors alive and helps children learn how to master their&#xA;  environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It usually ends when the child is around 2 years old. At this age,&#xA;  toddlers begin to understand that parents may be out of sight now, but&#xA;  will return later. There is also a normal desire to test their&#xA;  independence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;To get over separation anxiety, children must:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Feel safe in their home environment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Trust people other than their parents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Trust that their parents will return&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Even after children have successfully mastered this developmental&#xA;  stage, separation anxiety may return during periods of stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-06-27T13:26:47.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5401" CreationDate="2012-06-27T16:25:43.070" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a child care provider I found this to be quite common in both the two's classroom and the threes classroom so the information that it &quot;usually ends around two&quot; is not accurate in the reality of my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would suggest is two fold:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Your child does need reassurances from you in your words and behavior.  Are you having a hard time with the separation too?  Your child can pick up on this if you are.  He or she does need reassurances from you in your words and behavior.  This may sound harsh, but the upset - fit throwing kids that maintained this behavior for longer periods tended to be kids whose parents did one of two things: slip away, or respond pleadingly or with bribes (who often seemed really upset themselves).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Resist the temptation to &quot;slip away&quot;. I don't know your situation, but if you've &quot;snuck out&quot; or slipped away while the child was distracted, it made it easier for you and momentarily easier for the child care provider, but not for your child.  It is a form of dishonesty and does not reassure your child of trusting in your return even when you do return day after day, after day, after day.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoiding pleading and begging for your child to calm down.  This is attention that is negative but it is delaying your leaving.  Therefore it is working for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, develop a &quot;leaving routine&quot;.  Put stuff in the cubby, snuggle your child for a couple of minutes while you go over the schedule (never rush this, but don't let it take longer than 5-10 minutes either).  What is going on at the daycare that he/she can be excited about today?  What is for lunch? and finally, when will you return so he or she has an activity &quot;marker&quot; for when to expect you.  Something like, &quot;You'll &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt; (fill in the blank with something super fun for your kid), have lunch, take your nap and then after you've played a little more I'll be here and I'm looking forward to seeing you then and hearing about your day&quot;.  With Alice we then finished up with a &quot;nuzzle&quot; (resting our foreheads together), a &quot;monster kiss&quot; (rubbing of noses), a hug and then a regular kiss.  Peal them off you, pass them over to their teacher/childcare provider, blow a kiss and walk away with a happy confident demeanor.  A good care provider will then distract your child with something fun and after a few weeks your child will begin to trust in the routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2883" LastEditorUserId="2873" LastEditDate="2012-07-05T23:48:44.767" LastActivityDate="2012-07-05T23:48:44.767" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5401" CreationDate="2012-06-27T16:53:32.213" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I'd establish a routine when leaving the day care/preschool.  We have a routine called 'going to the window'-- the preschool/day care has a window overlooking the parking lot.  Whenever the boy is feeling like he's being left behind, his teacher takes him by the hand and leads him to the window.  Once there, he and I both wave to each other.  Sure he's a bit sad, but then he gets over it.  He knows that 'going to the window' means I'm leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, going twice a week on non-consecutive days can be really messing with his head.  That's not a particularly regular schedule; he just had a day with mommy/daddy, why is this day different from the one before?  He may not even know the days of the week yet, what a weekend is, or any of these other scheduling details that we as adults take for granted.  I understand that there can be many considerations about why you couldn't make this a five-day-a-week event, but doing so would really stress the regularity of being dropped off.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, maybe hardening your heart a bit will help as well.  No explanations, no cajoling, no discussion-- just say that you're dropping him off, and the drama has no effect on the outcome.  There's a feedback loop at play here, where he knows he will get some dramatic attention if he has a meltdown.  Don't give him the attention, and then he'll get over it.  Having a leaving routine can help channel his energies into the routine rather than the meltdown, but the redirection will be helped quite a bit by knowing that the dramatic alternative is no longer available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-06-27T16:53:32.213" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5407" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5420" CreationDate="2012-06-27T20:03:25.800" Score="19" ViewCount="24041" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our almost 2 year old toddler has developed a strong preference for me. In mild doses, this was acceptable but it is getting pretty out of hand. She cries when my husband, her father, tries to hug her, kiss her, put her to bed, etc. He literally has to bribe her to spend time with her - bribing with TV, or going to look at flowers, etc. But if he just wants a hug from her - she cries and runs towards me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This behaviour is causing problems both of us: for me, it's just tiring. And for my thick-skin husband - well, he is still human and craves his daughter's love. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, there are some things she will go to him for. For example, usually, my husband is the one who replaces all the batteries in the toys, turns the TV on, etc. So if she needs something done - i.e. a toy is broken because the batteries are dead, she'll readily say &quot;Dada fix&quot; and take the toy to him for fixing. If he insists that she hug him before he fixes, she'll just drop the toy and move onto something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I both work full-time; however, I work from home (we have a separate caregiver) so she does see me more. On a day-to-day basis I probably spend an hour more with her than my husband (no commuting :)). I spend time with her by drawing, reading books, singing nursery rhymes, swimming, etc. My husband spends time by taking her gardening with him, playing in the sandbox, building blocks, going on walks, watching TV, etc. My husband and I alternate waking up in the morning for the kids (and feeding them breakfast), as well as cooking dinner (which our daughter &quot;helps&quot; us with). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suffice to say, I don't think it is the issue of how much time we spend with the kids - I think we are fairly equal in quality and quantity of activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did other parents have this issue? How did you resolve it? Is it something they grow out of?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T17:20:55.867" LastActivityDate="2020-06-15T05:31:52.583" Title="Toddler has a strong preference for one parent" Tags="|toddler|behavior|attachment|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5408" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5411" CreationDate="2012-06-27T21:27:52.433" Score="4" ViewCount="3117" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children seem to be able to sleep in noisy environments, even when carried around. Is this generally true and what are the reasons? How does the ability to sleep with sound around differ with age and other circumstances?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2813" LastActivityDate="2017-11-23T02:57:04.917" Title="How do children manage to sleep in noisy environments?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5409" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-28T01:33:33.297" Score="6" ViewCount="12181" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2 month old granddaughter and she is potentially lactose intolerant (she's been spitting up, has runny stools, a low grade fever, fussy, and the doctor suggested it).  She's been on a milk-based formula since the breast milk dried up a month ago.  What is the best alternative?  Neither soy-based formula nor formula where the first ingredient is dried corn syrup solids seems best to me.  Goat milk?  And if so, is it ok pasturized?  (We live in Washington state (US), where it is illegal to sell unpasturized milk, and my daughter is fearful of raw milk anyway.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the options, what are the pros and cons of each, and what is best?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2454" LastActivityDate="2020-03-25T16:12:42.920" Title="What are the alternatives for a lactose intolerant baby?" Tags="|infant|food|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5408" CreationDate="2012-06-28T05:17:55.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have ever commuted to work using public transportation you will find yourself doing exactly the same thing as the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically when you are tired in the noisy environment you make the noises blur to the point where it becomes white noise and that point it's doesn't bother them when they sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2195" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T05:17:55.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5408" CreationDate="2012-06-28T06:08:46.040" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ability to sleep through noise seems to be conditioned in early infancy. An infant who is always put to sleep in the quietest possible conditions will usually develop a tendency to wake at even the slightest noise, whereas infants  who are exposed to normal noise levels during sleep times will usually develop a tendency to sleep through more noise. Of course there is a point for everyone where exhaustion simply takes over and they will sleep through noise or other discomfort that would normally wake them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2885" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T06:08:46.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5408" CreationDate="2012-06-28T08:05:56.737" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Along with the existing answers, it's also a matter of basic social instinct:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you're walking alone at night through a dark and silent forest, then every single whisper of a sound triggers a &lt;em&gt;danger&lt;/em&gt; reaction in you. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you hear a crowd of happy people around you, you feel safe. When you are surrounded by familiar sounds and the voices of people you know, there's no stone-age instinctive fear of irrational dangers lurking.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way, positive background sounds work to calm us, to soothe us, because it tells our stone-age brain that we are safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-07-01T18:18:01.917" LastActivityDate="2012-07-01T18:18:01.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5409" CreationDate="2012-06-28T16:24:30.280" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Goat's milk is not a better option than cow's milk&lt;/strong&gt; in terms of nutrition. Just like you don't give an infant cow's milk (regardless of lactose intolerance), you can't just start giving it goat's milk because it lacks nutrition. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Using goat’s milk before 6 months or regular use between 6 and 12&#xA;  months is not recommended. Goat’s milk is no more appropriate to give&#xA;  baby than cow’s milk. If you need to supplement and breastmilk is not&#xA;  available, formulas are a more nutritionally complete product. There&#xA;  are several comparisons of goat vs. cow vs. human milk in the links&#xA;  below.  ... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Goat’s milk is high in sodium (like cow’s milk) and is&#xA;  very high in chloride and potassium, which makes the renal solute load&#xA;  too high for babies. This can cause gastrointestinal bleeding and can&#xA;  result in anemia and poor growth (these problems are usually&#xA;  undetected until months later). Goat milk is also deficient in folic&#xA;  acid, which can lead to megaloblastic anemia. Also, infants who are&#xA;  allergic to cow’s milk protein are often allergic to goat’s milk too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;While it’s true that whole goats milk (and whole cow’s milk) was&#xA;  commonly used prior to the advent of infant formulas it is also true&#xA;  that the infant mortality and morbidity rate during the times of such&#xA;  substitutions was very high. &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/milk-supplements/#goat&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also read about the &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/125/4/e973.long&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;dangers of goat milk&lt;/a&gt; from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Goat's milk contains 50 mg of sodium and 3.56 g of protein per 100 mL,&#xA;  approximately 3 times that in human milk (17 mg and 1.03 g per 100 mL,&#xA;  respectively).6 The estimated requirements of sodium and protein for&#xA;  infants &amp;lt;6 months old are 100 to 200 mg/day and 9 to 11 g/day,&#xA;  respectively.7 The infant described here was receiving ∼500 mg/day of&#xA;  sodium and 30 g/day of protein, with a total intake of 32 oz of goat's&#xA;  milk per day. The immature kidneys in very young infants have&#xA;  difficulty handling the byproducts of foods with a high renal solute&#xA;  load.8 Sodium excretion capacity matures more slowly than glomerular&#xA;  filtration rate and does not attain full capacity until the second&#xA;  year of life.9 Therefore, infants fed fresh goat's milk are at&#xA;  substantive risk for hypernatremia and azotemia, particularly in the&#xA;  face of dehydration (as in the case described here), which may in turn&#xA;  result in major central nervous system pathology, including diffuse&#xA;  encephalopathy, intraparenchymal hemorrhage, or thromboses10 as&#xA;  manifested in our patient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528716/?tool=pubmed&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; from the Canadian Paediatric Society describes an infant with severe anemia and a murmur due to a diet of exclusive goat’s milk:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Goat’s milk is known to be deficient in vitamin D, vitamin B12, iron&#xA;  and especially folate. Infants younger than six months of age need 65&#xA;  μg/day of folate (the recommended daily allowance increases with age).&#xA;  Goat’s milk contains 6 μg/L of folate (breast milk and cow’s milk&#xA;  contain approximately 45 μg/L to 50 μg/L). The infant’s serum folate&#xA;  was less than 1.4 nmol/L (normal 7 nmol/L to 39.7 nmol/L), her serum&#xA;  vitamin B12 was 141 pmol/L (normal 200 pmol/L to 540 pmol/L) and her&#xA;  serum iron level was also low. The diagnosis of macrocytic anemia&#xA;  secondary to a combined folate and iron deficiency was made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Young children should only be given pasteurized milk&lt;/strong&gt;; please read about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.foodsafetynews.com/2011/11/raw-milk-myths----busted/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;myths around raw and pasteurized milk&lt;/a&gt;. Raw milk isn't sterile (like breastmilk) and &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; carry serious diseases (&lt;a href=&quot;http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=378479&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source 1&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://tropej.oxfordjournals.org/content/38/4/167.abstract?ijkey=a567b3943e16d44a2a3c07ae78377ff624a9bebf&amp;amp;keytype2=tf_ipsecsha&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source 2&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&amp;amp;aid=39399&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source 3&lt;/a&gt;). People &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; die from it. Having said that, my relatives own a dairy farm and they all swear by raw milk - none of them have ever been sick. I also know a 90-year old man who has been smoking since he was 11, and he doesn't have lung cancer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since breastfeeding is no longer an option, you are going to have to &lt;strong&gt;try formula&lt;/strong&gt;. In an effort to promote breastfeeding, there has been a lot of negative propaganda around formula. However, &lt;em&gt;formula closest represents breastmilk.&lt;/em&gt; It isn't equal by any means, but a lot of work has gone into making it nutritionally similar to breastmilk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can understand your concern about sugar in formula, however, even breastmilk is a lot of sugar - it just happens to be provided by lactose. Sugar also provides the carbohydrate source that babies need:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For infants with lactose intolerance, formulas that contain no lactose&#xA;  can be used. Lactofree is an example of a milk-based formula that&#xA;  contains corn-syrup solids rather than lactose as its carbohydrate&#xA;  calorie source. Many soy-protein formulas also do not contain lactose&#xA;  and are suitable for lactose intolerant infants. In addition to&#xA;  corn-syrup solids, other examples of carbohydrates contained in&#xA;  lactose-free formulas include sucrose (table sugar), tapioca starch,&#xA;  modified cornstarch, and glucose polymers (short chains of glucose&#xA;  molecules). &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicinenet.com/infant_formulas/page2.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found one product in US that doesn't use cane sugar or corn syrup solids: it uses &lt;a href=&quot;http://naturesonedirect.com/orlafrfo.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;brown rice syrup&lt;/a&gt; as a carb source instead. There are a lot of options in Europe (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pharmacy2u.co.uk/aptamil-pepti-1-baby-formula-p7202.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Aptamil pepti&lt;/a&gt;) due to a ban of sucrose in their infant formulas, but I am not sure if you can arrange for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T16:24:30.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5414" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-28T17:16:11.397" Score="3" ViewCount="142125" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3-year-old 30 lb child is doing very well in a puddle jumper which is designed for children from 30 to 50 lbs. We have a 20lb 1-year-old and we are trying to look for something equivalent for that lower weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried the bathing suits with the built in floatation devices and life-vests, but they all ride up around his face and cover his mouth when he's in the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What floatation device is available for 20lb babies that doesn't ride up over the face and is like the puddle jumper?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1337" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-09T12:08:27.437" LastActivityDate="2020-05-15T15:24:06.350" Title="Is there a puddle jumper equivalent for 20lb babies?" Tags="|toddler|safety|swimming|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5415" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-06-28T17:30:28.790" Score="17" ViewCount="915" Body="&lt;p&gt;We live in Vancouver, Canada, which for various reasons (weather, policy effects, etc.) has a large homeless population. Many of them suffer mental illness of some degree. Panhandlers are a common sight on the street. More than once we have been approached by a panhandler inside local restaurants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Four-year-olds, being four-years-olds, take all this in and notice that there's &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; going on here out of their ordinary experience. In the same vein, I know they can be very sensitive to adults' discomfort about certain subjects and that can have unpredictable effects—maybe bringing more questions or teaching them there's something wrong or to fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4yo is clearly struggling with these ideas. He retells one particular incident a few months ago of a panhandler approaching he and his mother while they ate, retelling the events and the conversation he had with his mother just after. He's unsettled, but not fearfully. His mother's approach is to talk with him about the (4yo-level) facts of it—that they don't have anywhere to live, that they're hungry, that they are asking for food or money. That he's still retelling that conversation tells me that he's not figured out what to do with it yet. And understandably so—it's a complicated enough subject for adults, let alone young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the primary caregiver, I get these retellings most often. I don't know how to talk with him usefully about it. I don't want to discourage him and thereby teach him that these are &quot;bad&quot; questions or subjects to think about, but I don't know how to engage with his conversations about it except to affirm his statements. I don't want to be silent either, or not-so-subtly shift him off the subject, because that amounts to the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I talk to a 4-year-old about homelessness and all the related subjects his questions will inevitably include?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2888" LastActivityDate="2013-08-09T20:40:29.447" Title="How do I talk to my child about homelessness and mental illness?" Tags="|education|communication|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="452" CreationDate="2012-06-28T18:01:38.190" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the best ways to teach rhythm is to lead by example. From my experience attending music classes for very young children with my toddler and then young child, there are a few very effective full-body ways to teach beat and rhythm. While music plays, clap to the rhythm, or to the beat. Starting with beat is apparently easier for them to grasp since it focuses on even measures, and gives them a foundation on which the variations of rhythm can be placed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my child, tapping gently on his body somewhere was a very effective way to communicate beat and rhythm information, and left his hands free to follow along when he could/wanted to. (It's hard to tell the difference between ability and desire at this point!) While music plays or while you sing, pat their knees or sides. This calls out and emphasises the beat they can hear in the music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also very effective was dancing with them (you have to dance with them to give them an example!) to the beat. Just stomping around in a circle works really well as a beginning, and calling out the beats or basic rhythm as a guide to movement (&quot;taa, taa, tee-tee, taaa!&quot; or somesuch) helps them hear the beat in the music and make the connection between music and movement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the keyboard-pounding… My own child is four now, and has always demonstrated a strong sense of rhythm—he was bopping his head to the beat (as much as he could, given developing motor skills) before he could walk, and he's now getting fairly impressive with the drum controller in &lt;em&gt;Rock Band&lt;/em&gt;, and improvises his own songs with obvious and playful rhythms. &lt;strong&gt;Even so&lt;/strong&gt;, he &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; loves to arhythmically pound the keyboard just for, as far as I can tell, the sheer joy and exuberance of the noise. It doesn't seem like the key-pounding sessions interfere with learning rhythm, so try not to discourage it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2888" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T18:01:38.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5409" CreationDate="2012-06-28T18:41:23.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stick with formulas made for infants!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To problem with using milk (cow or goat) as opposed to formula at such a young age is that &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; the child's nutrition must come from that liquid -- it's the only thing they're ingesting.  Infant formulas are made to deliver the nutrients they need to develop and grow.  Switching to milk at too young an age when they are unable to eat other foods for nutrition is going to seriously malnourish the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nutrition content of infant formula is highly regulated in the US -- I'm not sure its worth spending too much effort worrying about corn syrup when your infant's health and nutrition are more pressing matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soy-based formula is generally the first thing to try when infants are having problems processing milk-based formulas.  If that doesn't work, then you might need to look at some of the more specialized formulas (e.g. Alimentum or Nutramigen), though they are significantly more expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T18:41:23.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5409" CreationDate="2012-06-28T19:09:47.897" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try &lt;a href=&quot;http://similac.com/baby-formula/similac-sensitive?utm_source=google&amp;amp;utm_medium=ppc&amp;amp;utm_term=similac%20sensitive&amp;amp;utm_content=similac%20sensitive&amp;amp;utm_campaign=brand%20recognition&amp;amp;cid=ppc_an_sim_ggl_bkws_0813&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Similac Sensitive&lt;/a&gt; (or similar products).&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's designed for babies that exhibit some lactose sensitivity to traditional formula, and we found that it eliminated all of the symptoms you describe for our son.  It's also widely available both online (we found it cheapest at Amazon) and in brick and morter shops (both Duane Reade and Costco stock it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One side note that I wasn't aware of:  Infant lactose sensitivity has little connection with real lactose intolerance.   Many infants who have sensitivity can drink normal whole milk when they switch at one year, and many of those that still have a sensitivity at one don't have adult lactose intolerance (or any issues) after age two or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T19:09:47.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5415" CreationDate="2012-06-28T19:17:10.290" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Possibly the part he's struggling with is the &quot;why?&quot; Why do they not have anywhere to live? Why are they hungry? When we need shelter, we go home; when we are hungry, we go to the fridge or a restaurant...why don't these people have a home/fridge/access to a restaurant?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Because they don't have the money&quot; will probably lead to why they don't have any money. This topic will probably open up numerous cans of worms, but as long as you keep the language simple in terms he will understand, straightforward facts is usually the best approach. Children often understand a lot more (conceptually, as opposed to linguistically, which can prove quite frustrating for them at times, and sometimes for caregivers as well) than we give them credit for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you say his reaction is not a fearful one, my best guess without being there in person would be that he is concerned about homelessness. Perhaps concern directly for the individuals he's observed, perhaps at the concept that if others could be homeless could we be homeless too? Perhaps both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, straight talk in simple terms is almost always the best approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2885" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T19:17:10.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5407" CreationDate="2012-06-28T20:20:00.823" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience it all ebbs and flows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son exhibited some of the same behavior, though not the same degree, culminating around 2 years old. He is about to turn 4 and things have come full circle. He started coming to me for comfort around 2 and a half and sometimes even preferred my comfort when my wife was pregnant with our second child. Since the birth 4 months ago our son has migrated back to needing more mommy time but it's not as bad as it once was and is clearly in reaction to the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give is what I consider to be the gospel of parenting; this too shall pass. Be patient. Be persistent. Don't push her away and don't chide her for not giving daddy his due attention. Something like &quot;it makes daddy sad when you don't want to play with him&quot; is as far as I would go. Even that is more for daddy than it is for your daughter. Two is a tough age because their grasp on language is very deceptive. While they understand things you expect them not to they also have a very hard time with seemingly simple concepts. Subtly and nuance are completely lost on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just kept trying and kept trying and eventually .....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/vEIjA.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;First Daddy Preference&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While on a flight to Austin he was on his mom's lap, cranky and wanting sleep. He reached for me and in stunned silence I took him on my chest. He promptly fell asleep and I can't tell you how over joyed I was. It was by no means the first time I had comforted him to sleep but all previous events had been when mom was not around. It was, however, the first time that he chose me for comfort over mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2873" LastEditorUserId="2873" LastEditDate="2012-07-05T21:53:17.383" LastActivityDate="2012-07-05T21:53:17.383" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5421" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5459" CreationDate="2012-06-28T20:22:47.963" Score="8" ViewCount="5221" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently read about how important it is to start toothbrushing once teeth break, both to establish the habit/routine and to prevent early decay.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the kid's paste we bought (which is delicious, incidentally) is fluoride free. Is that desirable, since it gets eaten, or does that make it ineffective in its decay-prevention role?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-12T12:22:38.020" LastActivityDate="2019-04-12T12:22:38.020" Title="Should we be using fluoride paste or not for toothbrushing a 1-year-old who eats the toothpaste?" Tags="|toddler|teeth|brushing-teeth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5407" CreationDate="2012-06-28T20:30:23.287" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great answer from Thomas Paine. My four kids all did this when they were small; the youngest, now four years old, still prefers her mother. &lt;em&gt;shrug&lt;/em&gt; Their personalities are in constant flux at that age, and they will eventually come around. But I agree, waiting for it can be discouraging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-06-28T20:30:23.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5409" CreationDate="2012-06-29T13:02:35.933" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my sons had milk-protein sensitivities when they were born (which is different than lactose intolerance, but still requires a dairy-free diet).  We gave them Nutramigen, which is similar to Alimentum, but Alimentum didn't work for either of them.  I mention it because it took me a while to realize that if one dairy-free formula doesn't work, it is worth it to try a different formula.  They are not really all the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also as a side note, our pediatrician told us that soy-based formulas would probably not help, since there is often a cross-reaction to soy in babies with milk-protein sensitivity.  But if you are certain that your granddaughter is lactose intolerant (the symptoms are similar), then that shouldn't been an issue for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-06-29T13:02:35.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5427" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5428" CreationDate="2012-06-29T20:04:08.003" Score="5" ViewCount="2394" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a few family friends.  Some happen to have &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; children about 5-6 years older than the oldest one here (so closest is 5 year old and 10 year old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm thinking we should not spend as much time with the older kids, simply because in very little time the interests will diverge and the relationship will probably dissipate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Better spend time with same-aged children, so the time/investment is not lost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I wrong?  Or is there some major benefit for younger children to socializing with the older ones that I am looking past&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T08:10:30.257" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T08:10:30.257" Title="Encouraging friendship with same-age children" Tags="|social-development|friends|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5427" CreationDate="2012-06-29T20:22:31.927" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, older kids will be viewed as cooler kids, probably because they have more freedoms and do more complex/rewarding things. Because of this, the younger children will emulate them, for better or worse. If you think that these older kids are someone you want your children to look up to, then its good to have your children interact with them. If they behave poorly, keep your children away from them, for the same reasons. Older youth are &lt;em&gt;more influential role models&lt;/em&gt; than same-age children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: I see this effect as a leader in Boy Scouting constantly where it has good effects and bad effects. Bad effects tend to be more noticeable and quicker than good ones; you would be amazed how fast younger children will start using profanity if older kids are swearing. However, you can also be surprised at how an older youth can inspire maturity in younger children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as it being better to spend time with same-aged children, I would not agree. Children need to get used to breaking and forming new friendships, because they simply aren't permanent. Having your child spent time with only children of the same age is artificial, and probably is not advisable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2894" LastEditorUserId="2894" LastEditDate="2012-06-29T20:32:05.417" LastActivityDate="2012-06-29T20:32:05.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2012-06-30T01:40:25.993" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 23lb almost 2-year-old and have been searching high and low for something exactly like this since our 4-year-old LOVES his &quot;floatie&quot; as he calls it, and we can't find anything anywhere.  We can only find actual life jackets which is frustrating (and she HATES it), but it's better than the alternative.  We don't use it all the time, and we actually only bought it because we'll be going to the beach in a couple of weeks and there is no way I'm letting my 2-year-old in the ocean without a life jacket.  Otherwise, though, one of us will usually just hold her in the water, or let her play with close supervision in the kiddie pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-06-30T01:40:25.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5430" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5432" CreationDate="2012-07-01T07:49:04.730" Score="21" ViewCount="65124" Body="&lt;p&gt;A long while ago my 2 yr 9 mo old son decided he did not like eggs.  He was good enough to taste them (and re-tasted them on a couple later occasions), but he made up his mind he just does not like them.  If we even put a little on his plate he'll pick them up and put them on our plate, and remind us &quot;I not like eggs!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is we frequently have eggs for breakfast, so he's missing out on half the protein (he'll eat sausage just fine so I'm not really worried).  My 1 yr old daughter &lt;strong&gt;loves&lt;/strong&gt; eggs and will gladly scarf down his share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's a picky eater in general, it's not just eggs.  But I've read &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/102/how-do-you-feed-a-picky-eater&quot;&gt;How To Feed A Picky Eater&lt;/a&gt; and some of the other questions on this site and it gives us some ideas.  But I'd like to focus a question specifically on eggs since we eat them almost daily, which both makes them an important staple and a useful thing to experiment with.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone have good tricks for getting their kids to eat eggs?  Would fixing them differently be worth trying, or would continued pushing just turn him off eggs permanently?  How common is it that kids don't like eggs, and then like them when they get older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[Update]&#xA;My son is now a 4 year-old, and still the most picky eater you can imagine.  We've tried all the ideas people have suggested; mostly it just turns into a big power struggle (he's quite a strong-willed kid), so we don't bother.  Eggs are the least of our concern now - anything we fix he'll look at and declare he doesn't like it, even though he's never tasted it.  At Easter we did find that he likes the whites from hard boiled eggs, but only a nibble, and only if the shell's been dyed green.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've instituted a rule that when we have dinner, we're all going to eat what's fixed, and if he doesn't want it, he can have something different only after mama's done eating.  Unfortunately, he's fine with that; he just goes off and plays.  But at least mama gets to eat with the rest of us rather than doing speciality catering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This last weekend I started working on helping him learn about money, buying things, and earning money for doing jobs.  On a whim I said I'd give him a nickel for each thing he tasted that he'd never eaten before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And goodness, this has worked.  The first time, he held his nose took a taste of my spoon and rushed to the sink to spit it out.  Okay, well he tried it at least.  But then he returned; &quot;Daddy, can I taste that again?  Mmm, can you put that in a bowl for me?&quot;  He learned he loves mama's stew.  Last night he discovered that pot pie is actually quite yummy.  Corn chips are great too, but not salsa.  And... he voluntarily tasted scrambled eggs (twice!); just not his cup of tea.  This whole other world of taste is opening up for him, at the low low cost of 35 cents.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2018-06-03T14:18:30.790" Title="How to get toddler to eat eggs?" Tags="|toddler|food|eating|nutrition|" AnswerCount="18" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2012-07-01T08:53:21.333" Score="14" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Would fixing them differently be worth trying?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the immense number of ways one can prepare eggs, I'd say 'yes'. Each of my kids like eggs in different ways. One loves them hard-boiled or 'runny'. The other likes them scrambled. Given that the way one prepares an egg can dramatically change the texture, I'm thinking it's definitely worth a shot at seeing if the issue your child has with the eggs is a particular texture. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-07-01T08:53:21.333" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2012-07-01T16:48:37.030" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let him help prepare the eggs with you.  That way, he can be part of the process of making the food itself, and can see where everything comes from.  He can also suggest ridiculous ingredients (Honey! Cheerios! etc) and see where those experiments take him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We sat our toddler up on the counter and let him see the entire process of making the eggs.  He was much more interested in both the preparation and the eating once he got involved in the process, rather than just having them appear in front of him.  Yes, it's definitely messier-- especially now that he wants to crack the eggs himself-- but just have some towels and the like on hand to clean up, and you should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-07-01T16:48:37.030" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5336" CreationDate="2012-07-01T23:12:41.873" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about building on the skills he has... computers can be creative rather than just passive devices. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why don't you encourage him to learn a programming language like Scratch where he can program games for himself. Alternatively get him a video camera and work on creating some films of his own. These will develop skills that he can enjoy and be creative with. They will also stand him in good stead in later life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might be amazed by how creative it can be!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2898" LastActivityDate="2012-07-01T23:12:41.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5434" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-02T00:04:43.180" Score="2" ViewCount="440" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 1,6 year old son. Today I first put him in &quot;the corner&quot; after counting to three, explaining that this would happen when he doesn´t behave. Then I told him that he should stay there until he was ready to apologise. (He didn´t close the toilet when asked.) He cried and I know that he didn´t understand but I still feel its time to show him somehow that I mean business when no means no. My husband is a programmer and is afraid that our son will hate numbers if we use 1-2-3 as the trigger to &quot;the corner&quot;. And we want our son to love numbers. So I need help... what can I use as a definite &quot;Oh no you didn´t&quot; type of phrasing that makes him realize that punishment is on way. This has to give him time to stop...1-2... &#xA;Thank you for your world of wisdom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2899" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T14:01:08.643" Title="Alternative to the 1-2-3 rule needed" Tags="|infant|rules|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5434" CreationDate="2012-07-02T04:34:27.180" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use the 1.2.3 rule, and I'm a computer programmer, and my oldest son (6 years old) loves math. Just because you use numbers, it doesn't mean they will relate that to math. My now-1st grader loves addition, subtraction, even does simple (6x3 type) multiplication. We have, however, used 1..2..3 since he was little to let him understand that we need his attention NOW. Now my 3 year old doesn't get the 1..2..3 thing at all, so we're having to use something different with him, but with my oldest it works quite well (and the 3-year old is starting to get the idea we're serious when we use it, it's just not quite as good response).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of that said, if you're still desiring an alternative, perhaps use A..B..C? (although the programmer should also quail at using simple variables, but hey?). Or green... yellow... red? (this may not work depending on favorite colors, etc.). My kids are starting to learn that when I say &quot;I'm very disappointed&quot;, they know that they did something wrong, that may work as well, although it's more of a post-event statement as opposed to a get-your-attention statement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="707" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T04:34:27.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5434" CreationDate="2012-07-02T09:12:49.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about this- it's the act of counting, showing the time in which he has to act is decreasing, and not the actual numbers themselves that he will be responding too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are tougher than you think- using numbers in this way isn't going to give your child a fear of maths. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2868" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T09:12:49.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5421" CreationDate="2012-07-02T10:39:26.553" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should worry too much about ingested toothpaste. In some regions, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_fluoridation&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;water is fluoridized&lt;/a&gt;, causing no harm to the population, so it is safe to assume the health-risks of fluoride ingestion aren't all that big, as long as it is not excessive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really feel uncomfortable using regular toothpaste, you could also try to find fluoride-reduced toothpaste. Here (the Netherlands) this is usually sold as &quot;toddler toothpaste&quot; or &quot;preschool toothpaste&quot; (translation is a bit inaccurate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="613" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T10:39:26.553" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2888" CreationDate="2012-07-02T12:36:08.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give the child a cellphone with google latitude turned on.  My son was in 4th grade when I gave him a cellphone - which what 8 years ago if you could imagine.  Although people thought and sometimes commented, &quot;You gave your 10 year old a cellphone?&quot;  I never regretted it.  He was a very active child and played sports in different fields in the area.  I always knew where he was and I could call him to come home if I realized that he didn't finish his homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However I do not intend to replace Brian Driscoll's answer, but instead append to it.  I believe there's a lesson of responsibility to be learned by following the rules described in his answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2382" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T12:36:08.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5357" CreationDate="2012-07-02T15:36:53.543" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can try cutting the nails when they are asleep. I found that worked well on both my kids.  Regarding what to use, that is up to you as long as you just be careful. I just used one of those infant nail clippers and it worked well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2902" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T15:36:53.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5441" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5446" CreationDate="2012-07-02T15:42:07.173" Score="4" ViewCount="25421" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure if it is just my kid or the letter &quot;L&quot;, but my toddler can't seem to say the letter &quot;L&quot;. I try to help him out and show with my mouth how to pronounce it, but he will say stuff like &lt;code&gt;Wo-mein&lt;/code&gt; instead of &lt;code&gt;Lo-mein&lt;/code&gt; or &lt;code&gt;Wook&lt;/code&gt; instead of &lt;code&gt;Look or Rook&lt;/code&gt;.  I also noticed that when I tell him &lt;code&gt;Woody's&lt;/code&gt; name from &lt;code&gt;Toy Story&lt;/code&gt;, he says &lt;code&gt;Poody&lt;/code&gt;.  I don't know if he is just messing with me or has trouble saying the &lt;code&gt;W&lt;/code&gt; in the context of &lt;code&gt;Woody&lt;/code&gt;.  I will point out that certain words with &lt;code&gt;L&lt;/code&gt; such as &lt;code&gt;Bottle&lt;/code&gt;, he says just fine.  He is almost 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2902" LastActivityDate="2017-12-12T17:14:55.503" Title="Toddler has trouble saying the letter &quot;L&quot;" Tags="|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2012-07-02T15:52:49.467" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you ever tried disguising the eggs (scrambled) in a small sandwich. We found this worked for our toddler as he was not fond of cheese too much, but he would eat it with a piece of toast.  I was also going to mention add some food color to the eggs, but not sure how safe that is and then they probably would want you to color every egg every time :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2902" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T15:52:49.467" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5444" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5448" CreationDate="2012-07-02T15:59:08.010" Score="2" ViewCount="306" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a very happy 4.5 month old with reflux.  He is trying his best to cope with it and does a very good job. He smiles all the time.  I noticed that he likes it when he sees your face and I know babies with reflux should not have too much pressure applied to their stomach, especially at this time when reflux is at it's peak (between 4 and 7 months), so I was curious if the baby walkers would be helpful in reducing reflux since the baby would be upright.  Has anyone had success with this?  I was thinking of a Bumbo seat as well, but I though that might cause pressure on their stomach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2902" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T07:48:51.367" Title="Do baby walkers help with reflux?" Tags="|reflux|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2012-07-02T17:25:52.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have different mother tongues though he understands and can speak mine fluently. We speak english to our children at home, and converse with each other mostly in my mother tongue. I've been teaching the children my mother tongue which is commonly spoken in our country. My husband however refuses or has been adamant to speak his language with the children. He however converses in his language in our presence whenever his family members are around though they can all speak my mother tongue as well as english. There's a teenage niece of his staying with us, and he only talks to her in his language and in our presence and has turned deaf ear to my objections about that. I feel he wants to cheat our children and me by keeping us in the dark as to what goes on in his family whilst his ears are widely open to what goes on in mine. &#xA;What can be more beautiful than teaching your children your own language. Why cheat them, and expose them to other family members to cheat them as well? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2903" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T17:25:52.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5441" CreationDate="2012-07-02T20:54:02.223" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is saying Poody instead of Woody, and Wook instead of Look, but also managing with Bottle then it appears he can say the L and W sounds, so that would rule out physical issues. Many kids do take longer with some sounds than others, and L, TH and S are pretty common ones to get to quite late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My youngest had trouble with TH until she was 5, but we got around it by a period of correcting her every time, showing her where her tongue should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't much of a worry, because the paediatrician told us it was common and most kids that do have initial problems can quickly learn once they get a bit older. (In saying that I do know a few adults who never learned TH, instead using F...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T20:54:02.223" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5336" CreationDate="2012-07-02T21:52:01.777" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I was that 13 year old kid.  I was always on the computer or playing video games.  So, some of these questions are me vicariously wishing that I had had an older brother who cared.  See, I really really want you to come at this the right way. If you try to get him to stop using the computer or TV &quot;because it's unhealthy&quot; you will make him want to do this more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok, so I'll answer this question practically and then philosophically...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first question is, does your brother play on the computer because of a lack of athletic aptitude?  You didn't mention that he played any sort of organized sport.  I could not and even at 27, cannot throw a ball for the life of me. I had terrible coordination, and never found sports fun. I couldn't play sports with anyone, and no matter what I did I could never get better.  I found that I was naturally good at video games and picking up technology, so that's what I focused on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, consider that this might be something he is naturally gifted at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has low energy levels, he might benefit from a diet change. Try changing his diet to a paleo diet. The other main reason why I was on the computer so much was energy issues. My Mom fed me a low fat diet because she thought it was healthy, but I just got fat and lazy.  It wasn't until I went Atkins and then Paleo that I had any drive to do anything productive with my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I've covered diet and natural physical ability.  If you want him to do more physical activity, I suggest you look at his computer habits and see what would work.  Does he watch anime?  maybe he would love to do a &quot;real&quot; martial arts, like kung-fu.  Does he play World of Warcraft, or any MMORPGs?  Maybe he would enjoy Fitocracy.  Does he like mission based video games?  Maybe he would like Crossfit.  Maybe all of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I make all these suggestions based on my personal experiences, but ultimately, if you want to make any lasting change, you need to get to know your brother, and understand why he enjoys being on the computer.  Can you tell us what, exactly, he does on the computer, or what TV shows he watches, or what games he plays?  Whatever he is doing is part of a greater desire he has.  I went to counsuling for a porn addiction, and the counciler discussed the innate desire for all men to go on adventure and to do things that are risky and to explore.  I was raised by an overprotective mother, and I wasn't athletic, so I could only find adventure on the computer.  First, it was video games, then the internet, and then pornography. Maybe your brother wants to do something greater then himself, but your parents think he's too young or won't let him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, it could be none of these things.  The most important point is that if you want to make lasting change, you need to meet your brother where he's at.  You need to be willing to join him on the computer and watch his TV shows or play his video games.  you need to learn why he enjoys them, you need to understand why it's better then real life.  Then, you can identify the core elements of his enjoyment and re-focus it on real world activities.  You cannot look on the outside and make a blanket statement that it's bad for him or it's an addiction.  His behavior is not entirely bad.  He is engaging in some good things.  You need to find what the good things are and then use that to push him to be someone better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don't hestitate to ask me any follow up questions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2906" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T21:52:01.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5444" CreationDate="2012-07-02T22:21:48.410" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician advised very strongly against using walkers. He said standing upright applies too much pressure on the baby's back if the baby isn't ready to be in this position. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, this is the opinion of our pediatrician. I'm just communicating what he told us, so there's no authority at all in what I said. But at least is enough to conclude that you should talk to your pediatrician before buying a walker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2900" LastActivityDate="2012-07-02T22:21:48.410" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5434" CreationDate="2012-07-03T06:49:11.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We really tried avoiding 1,2,3 with our son, preferring time outs, but time outs just weren't that effective.  So long as 3 reliably results in a consequence he does &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; like, he generally responds as desired.  (For him, he wants to do stuff himself, so the consequence is usually getting picked up or us doing the thing for him.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also use 1,2,3 as the count when doing hide and seek and other games, so he's learned that numbers can be a lot of fun.  He enjoys counting to ten and then jumping (into pool, off couches, etc.)  Counting objects can also be a fun past time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if it is working keep using 1,2,3 and task your husband with coming up with clever ways of making numbers fun, and you'll not have any trouble at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-07-03T06:49:11.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5451" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5452" CreationDate="2012-07-03T17:26:34.657" Score="17" ViewCount="93178" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 year old doesn't like to sleep. I know that sounds like what every kid says, but let me clarify. She doesn't cry at bedtime, she just won't sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We start to get her ready for bed around 8pm. By 8:30 she is in her bed, and the lights are off. Come 11pm when we go to sleep, she is still awake! Again, she isn't crying and as far as we can tell she isn't afraid (she does like the hall light on and the door cracked, so we do that).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only occasional will she come out of her room, and it is usually for a sip of water or to go potty. Most of the time she returns back to her bed without a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We find her in there playing with toys or looking at books. If we take all that away she will stay awake playing with her fingers or talking to herself. It doesn't matter if she was in the house all day, or played outside for hours on her bike. She just won't fall asleep. She always tells us she isn't tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried soothing music but that doesn't work. If we try to stay with her until she sleeps, she just tries to talk to us. We don't talk back to her; she just tells us everything she wants to do tomorrow. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We thought it was because she would take a nap during the day, but we even stopped that. She doesn't sleep in late, and is up by 9:30 every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? Do you have any ideas on how we can get her to sleep earlier? Do some kids just require less sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user1446" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-11-28T08:37:55.263" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T11:00:35.977" Title="Our 4 year old won't fall asleep until 11pm" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5451" CreationDate="2012-07-03T19:12:45.940" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;11 to 9:30 is ten and a half hours, which is plenty of sleep. My kids are up at 6:30, and go to sleep at about 8:30. I think that if you want to adjust her schedule, I would start by waking her up earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-07-03T19:12:45.940" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5441" CreationDate="2012-07-03T19:33:03.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a speech pathologist, so take the following with a grain of salt. I have spent a lot of time concentrating on correct enunciation and being taught correct enunciation, so the following paragraph is based on that experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still don't say the letter &quot;L&quot; correctly, it is hard for people to hear the difference now but I palatalize the consonant instead of using the tip of my tongue (unless I'm concentrating on my enunciation). The &quot;l&quot; sound in bottle is slightly different than the 'l' sound in &quot;Lion&quot;, it is much more noticeable if you palatalize the 'l' at the beginning of the word rather than the end. It's possible to make a &quot;W&quot; sound with almost the same mouth movements as an &quot;L&quot; sound if you use the palate to create both, so that could be the problem there. &quot;P&quot; and &quot;W&quot;, when properly formed, start with very similar mouth shape. So I think you may have two different issues here--he's not saying his &quot;L&quot; with the right part of his mouth, leading to the &quot;W&quot;, and he is starting his &quot;W&quot; correctly but moving his lips incorrectly, leading to the &quot;P&quot;. Watch closely how he says things (and watch closely how you form your sounds as well) and worry about it if the problem persists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be clear, by &quot;persists&quot; I mean &quot;persists until he's 5 or so&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastEditorUserId="94" LastEditDate="2012-07-04T05:45:50.523" LastActivityDate="2012-07-04T05:45:50.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5401" CreationDate="2012-07-03T20:08:14.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Similar to those mentioned earlier, we too have a routine to leave.  For us it's the &quot;push out&quot; where he gets to push the parent out of the room.  It lets him feel like he's in charge.  We used to &quot;wave at the window&quot; but he's too cool for that now, only the two year olds do that (so he tells me).  There's a triangle shape on the floor outside of the room, sometimes we &quot;bowl&quot; the parent out knocking down the imaginary pins.  I firmly believe that coming up with a routine is the way to go.  Our's currently is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give me a 5&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give me a hug&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give me a kiss&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shake my hand like a gentleman&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Push me out of the room&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not deviate from the exciting ritual by stopping to hug or say, &quot;it will be okay&quot; because they will learn to behave that way to get more attention and that will be the ritual / routine (as it sounds like it is now).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And reassure him that you'll return.  And when you return, remind him, &quot;See, I told you that I was coming back to get you.  I missed you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2382" LastEditorUserId="2382" LastEditDate="2012-07-03T20:13:54.280" LastActivityDate="2012-07-03T20:13:54.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5444" CreationDate="2012-07-04T02:15:12.473" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not certain about walkers, but I can say that a Bumbo chair will make it worse. Our 4 month old has just started into this reflux stage and putting him in it has, as you said, put more pressure on his stomach and caused a lot of spitting up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2911" LastActivityDate="2012-07-04T02:15:12.473" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5441" CreationDate="2012-07-04T16:54:34.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, just finished kindergarten (she's now 5) also has this issue, among others.  (She could read at 2, so if it has anything to do with intelligence, it's because she's lazy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The speech pathologist has been getting her to work on putting the tip of her tongue on the &quot;bump&quot; on her palate right behind her front teeth instead of showing her tongue between her teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the way her kindergarten teacher reacted and the way the speech pathologist has reacted, it seems like the best advice is to ask your child's kindergarten teacher for advice when your child reaches that milestone.  If your community has speech therapists available for school kids, you'll get a referral or what have you (the therapist actually came to the school for us, so that made things easier).  If not, the teacher may have other suggestions.  This is likely a regular issue with kids - as has been mentioned, this is not abnormal.  Some kids &quot;get it&quot; better than others, but it's not outside the range of normal for a 5-year-old to have difficulty with some pronounciation.  The therapist will definitely know better how severe it is at that time, and will (hopefully :-) ) devise a strategy specifically for where your child is at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, and don't fret too much.  Just keep it in mind as your child ages, and if it's still an issue in Kindergarten, bring it up again there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(If you don't have school for 4-5 year olds, bring it up with your pediatrician at around that age.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="557" LastActivityDate="2012-07-04T16:54:34.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5421" CreationDate="2012-07-05T05:15:34.183" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used toddler toothpaste without flouride (there are plenty of choices) up until I saw effort being made about spitting.  I'd brush for them and demonstrate what I wanted them to do, and it took a while.  My first daughter seemed to do a good job picking it up around 18 months, while my son took until he was probably 24 months or so.  The non-flouride toothpastes are fine, the habit is far more important than what you use.  We did use a flouride toothpaste with my first daughter for a little while, but it actually seemed like it was occasionally giving her an upset stomach, so we stopped with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="560" LastActivityDate="2012-07-05T05:15:34.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5421" CreationDate="2012-07-05T15:44:56.527" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems in your case a pea sized bit of fluoride free toothpaste until two years of age is the most consistent recommendation. Consider unsweetened toothpaste; the trade off being between building the habit of brushing (sweetness as incentive) and developing a habit of spitting out toothpaste (sweetness being a hurdle).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some resources to help you decide now and as he grows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ada.org/4052.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;FAQ on Fluoridation by the American Dental Association&lt;/a&gt; see &quot;Do not use fluoride toothpaste until the child is two years old unless advised to do so by a dentist or other health professional.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://medicalcenter.osu.edu/patientcare/healthcare_services/dental_care/infant_child_dental_care/pages/index.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dental Care for Infants and Children via Wexner Medical Center&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aapd.org/publications/brochures/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry: Patient Brochures&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exerpt from &lt;em&gt;Dental Care For Your Baby&lt;/em&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/kHYrv.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;When should I start cleaning my baby&amp;#39;s teeth?&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2012-07-05T15:44:56.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5460" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-05T15:56:19.213" Score="4" ViewCount="151" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sons is on this horrible tasting medicine. He hates taking it.  We have tried mixing it with ice cream, apple sauce, and milk.  He then refuses to eat/drink that.  It ends up I have to wrestle with him and force it down.  Once he threw it right back up.&#xA;Other suggestions of how to get him to take it. It is flavored, it is just horrible.  I feel so badly for him and give him lots of snuggles and love afterward and let him know I understand but I have to make him take it. What do I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1889" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T10:47:48.877" Title="Getting young children to take meds" Tags="|medicine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5460" CreationDate="2012-07-05T20:44:40.790" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd try something with a strong flavor that he likes.  Ice cream, milk, apple sauce, etc. are all pretty bland when compared to strong flavors.  Milk-based products (and bread) may help as chasers, though, as I've found them to be pretty good at palate cleansing (they're particularly useful for spicy stuff, but they generally help with other things in my experience).  Things I might try, depending on his age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;salsa (mild black bean and corn has good flavor without much spice)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;barbecue sauce (my 19 month old loves barbecue)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;flavored chips (Doritos, barbecue, sour cream and onion, cheddar and sour cream...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lemonade&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pop (preferably caffeine free, particularly if it's taken near bedtime, and probably not the best idea on the list anyway)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tomato-based pasta (spaghetti, lasagna, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea here is to hopefully find something that overpowers or at least minimizes the flavor of the medicine.  Obviously some of these are less appropriate than others (particularly pop), but given it's a non-regular thing, I'd personally be willing to be a little flexible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2805" LastActivityDate="2012-07-05T20:44:40.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5460" CreationDate="2012-07-05T22:28:03.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried using a dropper? It helps by getting the medicine past the tongue. It takes a little longer but we have had far more success with droppers than cups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What follows is not a quick fix but rather a long term suggestion. &#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;I find that the most important aspect of giving medicine to both pets &amp;amp; kids is in the approach. If you approach the medicine with fear and reluctance it's clear to animal and child alike. I've watched parents hold their kids mouths open so they could poor the medicine down. What is usually clear to me, and probably their kid, is that the parent has assumed from the outset that they would have to force the medicine down. They essentially set themselves up to fail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually learned this with a cat years ago. My girlfriend's cat was on some medicine and my girlfriend was having a nightmare of a time trying to get her to take it. Her approach was to pick up the cat and force the dropper into it's mouth and try to squeeze the medicine out quickly and perhaps try to hold the cat's mouth closed. The cat would of course spit out the dropper and they would wrestle a bit leaving half the dose on the floor and my girlfriend's arm all scratched up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day I volunteered to give the medicine and after she was finished staring at me in stunned confusion she handed over the medicine. I then gently picked up the cat and offered the dropper to her. I let her smell the end and gently squeezed a bit of medicine out. She licked it, liked it and continued to lick. I then slowly squeezed out the rest of the dose and she took it happily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this became the method we used going forward and it got to the point where the cat would seek out the bottle of medicine and when she found it start meowing. I'm not going to take credit for her liking the medicine as I'm certain this was because she seemed to get inebriated on it. I will take credit, however, for her discovering that the medicine could be a good thing and I have taken the same approach with my four year old son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was young and desperately ill I would gently offer him medicine as a way of alleviating the symptoms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do you want some of this? It will help you feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would then take a dropper of something like Tylenol or gripe water and slowly squeeze  the medicine into his mouth. I have a deep distrust of flavored and colored medicine so trust me when I say it did not taste good. I've tried it. Sometimes he said yes and sometimes he said no but gradually he learned to trust me and started happily sucking it down or even asking for it. Here is where the placebo effect took hold. Me simply telling him that it would make him feel better was at times, I suspect, more effective than the medicine itself. This, in turn, lead to a positive feedback loop and we have no reached the point where he trusts that when I offer medicine it will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2873" LastActivityDate="2012-07-05T22:28:03.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5451" CreationDate="2012-07-05T22:38:01.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have tried many different ways of adjusting my four year old's sleep schedule and all have failed. He simply does not get sleepy before 9:30 pm. He gets enough sleep though so we have let it go. I must say that while it can be rough when you are tired from a long day at work and you just want some downtime it has some social benefits. Most of our friends have kids his age and his ability to stay up past 8 means we aren't rushing out the door after dinner like some parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are probably setting ourselves up for a difficult time when he starts going to a proper 8-3 school but we'll address that as needed. Given 2 weeks you can change almost anything about your kid's behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2873" LastActivityDate="2012-07-05T22:38:01.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2012-07-06T13:13:42.593" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mentioned that &lt;em&gt;Green Eggs and Ham&lt;/em&gt; is one of his favorite stories.  Have you tried serving him green eggs?  A little drop of food coloring can go a long way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got both of my boys to drink milk regularly by offering it in different colors. I just add a single drop of food coloring to the cup. Now they ask for milk at every meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-07-06T13:13:42.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5165" CreationDate="2012-07-06T16:03:39.973" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never been shy about &quot;helping&quot; other parents out when what they're doing (or more often what they're not doing) isn't working. I've found that typically if you get on to another parents child, one of two things will happen:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child will run off and whine to their parents about you chastising them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The parent will come over, give you dirty looks, and then remove their child from the area.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, I was in a local salon/barber shop, and a woman came in with two boys, one about 2, and another around 4. The younger one was sitting quietly, looking through the pictures in one of the haircut books, and the older child kept on poking him, hitting him, and just picking on him in general. The mother appeared oblivious to the behavior. When they would get loud, she would &quot;separate&quot; them, which worked for about 5 seconds. Finally, the younger child retaliated, and bit the older one. He immediately started bawling and crying, &quot;He BIT me!&quot;, and the mother started to baby him. At that point, I spoke up and said, &quot;I would have bit you, too. You're being mean to him, and he obviously doesn't like it.&quot; The mother looked at me, shocked, then kind of blushed, and actually separated the kids for a while, making sure that they stayed separated, and then made sure that they behaved - at least the rest of the time I was there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should have to leave (nor do I think you should) because other kids are misbehaving. You need to be willing to do what so few people are these days, and step up and take charge of the situation. You'll have to stand your ground against other parents and badly behaved children, but the parents that DO watch their kids and give a crap about them will greatly appreciate it, and the parents that don't or that try to baby their brats when they should spank them will learn to recognize you and just leave when you show up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've taken this approach many, many times, and it is always effective. I've had angry parents and angry kids, but it's extremely rare for them to actually say anything back if you look serious and use a stern and solid tone. You do have to be careful not to cross the line over to appearing as a threat. You'll learn to be more assertive and &quot;ballsy&quot; as you start doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as leaving the place when other kids start misbehaving, I think that leaving teaches your child to run away from problems rather than fixing them. You need to show your child that you are there for them, and will defend their rights, and that they don't have to let people run them away, or run over them. This is something that will form into lessons that will carry them through school, college, and a career - stand up for yourself, stand up for others, take charge, and make the world a better place for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2920" LastActivityDate="2012-07-06T16:03:39.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5467" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-06T23:18:07.980" Score="6" ViewCount="119746" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife pumps and puts the milk in the fridge if it's not time for a feeding. We have to supplement with formula because the baby drinks about 4 more ounces a day than she makes. Feeding from the breast never worked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the problem is, sometimes, we get the breast milk out and heat it up (running hot water over it or just holding it in warm hands) and the milk looks curdled. We just throw it out and grab a different bottle of breast milk whenever that happens out fear that it has gone bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does that happen? Is the milk still safe? It's never in the fridge for more than a day or so and we make sure to rotate them and even have some contraption where the new milk goes in one side and the oldest milk comes from the other side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="63" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T16:10:55.680" Title="Breast milk looks curdled . . . what happened?" Tags="|breastfeeding|milk|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5434" CreationDate="2012-07-07T01:02:43.560" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I would reassure you, as did one of the other responses, that counting will not impact is perception like/dislike of math.  In the mind of the child, one is about time and the other is altogether different.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I would actually suggest reversing your counting.  I know it seems like a simple difference and in the end - even to a child it isn't a big difference, but 3,2,1, does actually work better in my experience (preschool teacher and mother of my own).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, I would also suggest that perhaps it isn't a problem of your child not understanding that you &quot;mean business&quot; but perhaps he is hearing &quot;no&quot; too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don't get me wrong - kids need to be told no, AND yours needs to stay out of the toilet, but one of the problems parents run into is when we say no too much it loses its meaning.  Think about it, when you hear a word too much, it stops meaning very much.  What curse word do you hear most often?  Does it sound as jarring to you as a curse word you rarely hear?  I say &quot;come on&quot; to Alice all the time and it does absolutely nothing to speed her along, but if I say, &quot;we've got to go quickly&quot; she totally kicks it into gear (I need to be in less of a hurry with her is what it really comes down to for me).  With things like playing in the toilet, your child might just be bored and need some redirection (offer up something more satisfying to you that will be fun to him to replace the toilet), whereas with running into the street you need an immediate response if you say &quot;no&quot; or &quot;stop&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might like my article, &quot;the magic of toddler water play&quot; if he likes splashing in the toilet, you might get a few &quot;replacement&quot; ideas with which to entice your little gentleman.  pinchxeverything.blogspot.com&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-07T20:07:28.603" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T20:07:28.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5427" CreationDate="2012-07-07T01:08:55.267" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children should be allowed to spend time with lots of kids from a variety of age groups as it helps to give them a more well-rounded sense of social skills.  Different ages have different expectations.  The interactions between kids change as their age differential does also.  As long as the older kids are setting a good example and being kind to your little one there is no harm in having them &quot;hang out&quot;.  If they're good kids they'll learn from your little one too.  There is also nothing wrong with setting up a play date or two with kids the same age as well, but there is no need to rush into that.  If you plan on having your children in a mortar and brick school (public or private) they'll get lots of time with kids their own age - more than enough really.  Most of your friendships probably center around similar interests, histories, and outlook, not age right?  It really should be the same way for our kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of time investment, it is pretty rare that most childhood friendships last into adulthood anyway.  There is often one, maybe two really special friends, but most of your kid's friends will grow at different rates, find they have divergent interests or beliefs and grow apart anyway.  No sense worrying about it.  Good-byes are a part of life too and perhaps they will enjoy the time they have and the lessons they learn while they have it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T21:40:40.280" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T21:40:40.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5388" CreationDate="2012-07-07T01:30:34.163" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are obviously getting a lot of answers, this is a tough one.  I taught preschool for two years and middle school (in what were supposedly highly rated, academically rigorous schools) for eight.  I also taught twice exceptional kids for three (these are the ones that are often the targets of school &quot;socialization&quot; and most often bullied - sometimes even by their former teachers).  My daughter began reading at three and at the age of five was measured as reading at a 5th grade level so we've had to make some similar decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the choices you mention, there are a lot of partial school options such as virtual schooling and home school cooperatives.  We participate in a virtual school that has community outings, Wednesday is classroom day (with an accredited teacher that is NOT me), classes are two-grade splits, but it is a full classroom with kids relatively close in age, and field trips in which we can choose to participate frequently.  Such communities can be found across the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, Homeschooling does not have the social implications many people think it has.  Our schools are not truly in the business of &quot;socializing&quot; our kids and a lot less socialization occurs than most people think.  Yes, they learn to share and some conflict resolution happens, but that does not complete the picture of what needs to happen.  If you think you'd like to consider Homeschooling, there are a few other questions that may be useful to you too.  One is about the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5593/2876&quot;&gt;pros and cons of homeschooling&lt;/a&gt; as well as one about home-schoolers and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/594/2876&quot;&gt;social events/extra-curriculars&lt;/a&gt; (Pay special attention to Hedgemage's answer). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If home education isn't right for you, then I would definitely suggest supplementing.  However, I wouldn't suggest supplementing with the stuff they are already doing.  Rather, I would suggest supplementing in the areas the school is probably not even touching.  Geography, a second language, History enrichment, music, theater, as a few examples - or do family reading books and introduce literature from the banned book lists that you don't have a problem with.  Do lots of fun challenges, your kids can make cartesian divers and toothpick bridges for fun science activities with you.  Try to frequently go on &quot;field trips&quot; and &quot;outings&quot; that will take you to an educational place and have fun while you are there together. . .  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, make it fun and for the whole family or your kids are likely to resent the extra &quot;pencil pushing&quot; and the fun will be completely gone from learning(Having taught in private schools, I've seen this happen to great kids).  Days at school are long and your kids are likely to start having a lot of homework too in the not-so-distant future.   Teach as you live your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you decide, It will be what is right for you and your kids in the end, but be careful about &quot;over supplementing&quot; in too formal a way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T17:39:01.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5317" CreationDate="2012-07-07T01:36:56.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually asked, and still ask, mine to &quot;rate&quot; her ouch.  I don't coo and say, &quot;Oh no&quot; or get upset myself, I simply ask, &quot;How bad is it and what would you like?&quot;  Her options are:  she doesn't need anything but to dust off and get back to her game/play, to be given a hug and kiss,  to be held for a little longer - or to get some &quot;recovery time to herself, or that we are going to need more help.  Needing more help can mean a band-aid, kisses from another relative too, or a doctor if needed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is really important that you not look or act worried though.  Your offer has to be made calmly so the child can assess the damage.  Usually, I try not to react until after she is already upset (because most of the time, she doesn't bother if I don't)  It has worked pretty well for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to the relative, I'd probably ask her not to do that to my kid.  I'd say that we can respectfully agree to disagree on how bumps and bruises should be handled and since it is my kid I'd prefer it if she just let me handle it.  All you can do is request, but her actions are egregious enough to warrant saying something about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-13T22:14:58.993" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T22:14:58.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2012-07-07T01:40:52.840" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest reading, Parenting with Love and Logic as well as looking at the Mecham's website which is something like, &quot;school at home effectively.com&quot;  Sorry, a simple search will find them.  Even if you don't home school their over all philosophy is about NATURAL consequences (good and bad).  Based on the way you worded your question, I have a feeling their philosophy will really jive with you and work wonders in your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T01:40:52.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5140" CreationDate="2012-07-07T01:44:00.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out &quot;The Bilingual Edge&quot; - sorry I forget the authors' names but it is a fabulous resource for you with all kinds of information about common problems and how to overcome those problems when trying to raise kids with one or more languages that are not English in an environment that speaks a totally different primary language.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T01:44:00.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4941" CreationDate="2012-07-07T01:57:30.853" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to suggest starting with three things before addressing the crying issue.  After you've tried the first three things, then address the crying because there are a couple of possibilities on what is causing all the tears. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do more listening.  I have found that many times when I am at my most frustrated, I am a lot less likely to listen to my little one.  Once I DO listen though, I often find there was a mis-understanding rather than blatant rule breaking.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Check out schooleffectivelyathome.com  Even if you don't homeschool, try to sign up for one of their seminars or just read lots of their articles.  You'll be amazed at how well their system works.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read, &quot;parenting with Love and Logic&quot; and give it a shot too.  Things just become so much calmer and simpler this way.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;THEN, you may find that your child begins to come away from the need to cry a lot because there will be less yelling and frustration over all.  The stress of the yelling and strife may be causing a lack of confidence, or you might simply have a super sensitive child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also be giving your child more attention when he is crying which makes him cry more because even though it is negative attention, he might get something out of it anyway.  Honor him with a place to go to when he needs to cry and let him.  Honestly, we all need to cry sometimes.  If you aren't upset about it, maybe he'll find it less engaging and cry less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T01:57:30.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4844" CreationDate="2012-07-07T02:09:40.480" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually talking DURING discipline is usually counterproductive.  Both of you are probably upset and for little ones they usually don't really hear you anyway.  I usually use a time out with these words.  &quot;I am really frustrated about the choices you are making so we are going to have a time out until we are both ready to talk about it&quot;  She was then able to come back to me and we could have a discussion.  If I was still feeling angry enough that I knew I couldn't listen to her either then I'd tell her I wasn't ready yet, but I'd try to be soon.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, Alice knew that when we did talk she needed to have an honest apology where she told me what she had done wrong (rather than the other way around) and had an idea about what she might do differently next time, or that she was coming to me because she was confused and honestly wanted to talk about how to make it better.  Sometimes it takes an hour before she is ready to do this and sometimes 30 seconds.  I have never set a timer for her because then instead of thinking about a solution to her behavior she's just thinking about when time will be up and she can leave her chair.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the eye contact note, if Alice really had made a wrong decision I expected her not look at me (not that I ever told her this).  It is an indication of a feeling of shame.  Kind of like a dog tucking its tale between its legs.  He is actually showing you that you are the boss and he knows it and he is feeling bad (whether he is feeling bad about the action that got him the time out or just feeling bad about the time out is anyone's guess, but he is feeling bad).  I'd let the eye contact thing go personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-26T23:02:51.553" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T23:02:51.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4739" CreationDate="2012-07-07T02:21:45.693" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've done a lot of road trips and a few airplane trips with my now 6-year-old and often alone.  I have NEVER needed to have a DS, video player or any other such thing and we've always been just fine.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are TONS of travel games out there.  My four year old enjoyed travel boggle last summer, not as a game to play with others, but simply because reading was newish to her and she relished in the fact that she could find words herself!  Check out these two articles for more ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mention computer games in here because they are an option, especially if it is a super long flight, but there are other ideas too:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/06/toddlers-and-preschoolers-on-airplane.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/06/toddlers-and-preschoolers-on-airplane.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This one is how I pack our car with Travel Activities for long road trips.  Obviously you won't want to bring as much, but hopefully it will give you ideas for everyone - including the 8 year old.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-travel-bucket.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-travel-bucket.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you are right for trying to help your kids balance their screen time with other entertainment right from the start.  It will help them be more balanced as well as creative about how to spend their time when they are older.  You might also consider it a time to connect by predicting what you will see and do, or by reviewing stories and memories from your fun trip together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T02:21:45.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4394" CreationDate="2012-07-07T02:30:40.843" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;NO.  absolutely not.  Please, introduce your child to all of your languages.  It will not, by any means, confuse your child.  I would suggest that you not use Spanglish, or some other similar thing where you are using multiple languages at the same time, nor would I suggest One language for bed time and another for wake-up time.  The more exposure to each language your child gets, the more of an advantage he will have later on (in more ways than you might imagine too - it isn't just about language skills but even how they think.  The more languages the more thinking pathways for creativity and problem solving as well).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest reading, &quot;The Bilingual Edge&quot; to help you figure out all the specifics.  The idea of having specific days for specific languages, like Wednesday Welch and Friday French, might not be bad to help you make sure you are using all at your disposal, but might also be too formal and limiting for you too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T02:30:40.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5467" CreationDate="2012-07-07T02:30:59.190" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breast milk will separate. Just lightly swirl it back together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you are following safe &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/milkstorage/milkstorage/&quot;&gt;Breast milk storage guidelines&lt;/a&gt; the milk should be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And please stop throwing it away, your wife worked hard to make that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2695" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T02:30:59.190" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5480" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5481" CreationDate="2012-07-07T05:49:42.383" Score="18" ViewCount="360176" Body="&lt;p&gt;My newborn (currently 6 weeks) sometimes goes a few days without a bowel movement. It seems like this makes her uncomfortable and she sometime looks like she's trying to get something going (she has an obvious pooping face) but after a few pushes gives up on it. Is there anything we can do to help her out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additional info. She is breastfed with quite a bit of formula supplementing, we use Costco's store brand formula which makes a big deal about having a lot of iron. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2858" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-09T23:01:07.087" LastActivityDate="2017-09-28T06:54:20.167" Title="How can I help my baby poop" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5480" CreationDate="2012-07-07T13:14:01.477" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, some babies don't need to poop everyday, so you don't have to worry on that level, but if she seems uncomfortable you can try a baby yoga move I learned that worked wonders on our little one (six years ago now). Lay her on her back and speak softly and cooingly to her. Gently bend her knees so they are together. Move her knees - holding her lower legs - in a clockwise circle. Make it so her knees gently press into her lower abdomen while you do this. I learned this maneuver from a book called &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0743243552&quot;&gt;Itsy Bitsy Yoga&lt;/a&gt;. It used to help our Alice get all kinds of gas out of the way and she would immediately feel better and then poop not long after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best wishes to you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-05T02:57:44.823" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T02:57:44.823" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5395" CreationDate="2012-07-07T13:23:14.400" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try laying out two choices you like and saying, &quot;Which outfit would you like to wear today, this one or this one.&quot;  If it is about his wish to assert himself, he'll feel like he is being given a choice and you are still getting him to wear lighter clothing.  Try this everyday for a month of so and if it works, by the time the month is over you can let him totally choose again with the assertion, &quot;as long as&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T13:23:14.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5112" CreationDate="2012-07-07T13:31:00.990" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is actually possible to NOT require viewing of anything for both of these kids.  I've done it (and probably so did your parents with you).  You might take the above suggestions for after dark or a short time.  But you might also try a number of other ideas.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I would get a seat belt Pillow.  I just found out about these this spring and will be making one for mine before we head out on our own road trip in a few weeks. (Avoids the fights over space).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, I would create travel buckets for the kids with lots of different activities in each and a new book or two for each.  Check out this article for more ideas:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-travel-bucket.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-travel-bucket.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T13:31:00.990" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-07-07T13:31:00.990" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4310" CreationDate="2012-07-07T13:39:52.677" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand you're concern, but if you are monitoring their online activity, it shouldn't be easy for them to be exposed to full on porn.  Especially the type you describe in your comments to Torben.  Get a parental controls program and have the computer in a room where the whole family is together and you can see what they are watching and searching for.  This is less about &quot;spying&quot; and more about guiding.  You can help guide them in choosing search terms that are less likely to cause something graphic to arise, and if a slip does occur you are there to answer questions right away if needed as well as stop further viewing of anything you see to be out of line.  In all my years, I've never just stumbled upon something as graphic as what you have described.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along the way, go ahead and teach them about sex in general so they know &quot;the good stuff.&quot;  When my mom was training as a teller at a bank, in order to teach her to distinguish counterfeit money, they had all the trainees handle thousands of bills that were the real thing.  This makes it more likely that if a counterfeit comes up, the tellers will &quot;feel&quot; the difference and alert them to the need to check for other devices that can signal a real bill vs. a counterfeit.  I guess I would treat this the same way - at least for awhile.  Then, when your kids are ready for a discussion about porno, or they stumble across something, you can use an analogy like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4312/2876&quot;&gt;Torben's&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T16:01:59.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5260" CreationDate="2012-07-07T13:45:19.787" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I have done with Alice is to ask her question back to her, &quot;I don't know what do you think?&quot; and see what she says.  She often has a thought on the matter and I can give her feedback about her thoughts this way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also try to insert ideas about different people think in different ways and if it is about a dangerous activity I'll often said, perhaps they've never thought about it or didn't have some one to help them know differently, but then she started &quot;teaching&quot; others when she saw certain things, so now I've kept it to speaking about different kinds of values and different levels of risk-taking willingness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T13:45:19.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4767" CreationDate="2012-07-07T13:55:53.330" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child is old enough now for delayed consequences, so if that is appropriate, I wouldn't be afraid to apply those, but it is also possible that some information is missing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A real life consequence of her actions might be that her friends (or their parents) will stop wanting to play with her if her behavior is that disruptive.  I would talk to her about it.  &quot;Honey, I'm concerned.  I love you and want you to have friends and I also want you to be able to make safe, respectful and loving decisions&quot;.  Talk to her about what you've heard and ask her what she thinks is going on.  You can ask her why she is making those choices without implying that it isn't her fault.  &quot;I'm concerned about your choices and want to help you make ones that will help you keep your friends and still be respectful (or whatever adjective you want to fill in), can you tell me why you are doing these things?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See what she says and then respond to that with a &quot;brainstorming session&quot; about how she can accomplish the positive things she is trying to accomplish without the negative.  If she is looking to cause trouble and says so, I would simply say, &quot;well we'll have to see how that works for you&quot;.  Then if she does it again, the next time she wants to go to a friends house (or play and have friends over) tell her, &quot;I'm sorry, but I don't trust you to make the right decisions with friends right now.  You'll have to figure out how to show me you want to and can have fun with friends without creating mischief.&quot;  Then give her some time to think about it and a few missed play dates.  When she does get to play again, discuss with her that this is her opportunity to win back your trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T13:55:53.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4295" CreationDate="2012-07-07T14:04:55.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest two things.  One, teach the alphabet and reading skills as a separate but equal thing.  &quot;This is the English Alphabet and This is the Czech Alphabet&quot;  Then teach the Czech alphabet the same way any other kid would learn it - songs, games, didactic teaching etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thing I would suggest is reading, &quot;The Bilingual Edge&quot;.  It is a wonderful resource for people that want to teach their child their home tongue in an environment that does not regularly use the second language being taught.  It'll give you all the details about the &quot;HOW&quot; of teaching Czech to your chidren even if they are resistant as well as all the ways having your kids be multilingual is to their HUGE advantage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T14:04:55.377" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-07-07T14:04:55.377" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="321" CreationDate="2012-07-07T14:15:16.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;HedgeMage's answer is a good place to start with any teacher relationship, but the other thing is to know exactly what your objective is before going in.  If you just want something a little more specific about your kid, this might not be the time to get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect there is something more to know that you are not getting told, you might ask something like, &quot;What is your favorite part about working with &lt;strong&gt;__&lt;/strong&gt; and what is your least favorite part?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a specific concern, you need to address that concern.  You might say something like, &quot;we are concerned about &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; performance in &lt;strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;, can we set up an appointment to discuss your ideas on that specifically with you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T14:15:16.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2736" CreationDate="2012-07-07T14:24:11.750" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would personally start by finding out why they don't like it because that will help direct you.  If you child gives the typical pat answer of &quot;its boring&quot; then go for the it is okay not to like everything answer, but finish it off with, &quot;is there a way it could be less boring&quot;.  Kids are pretty good at knowing what they want and what would help, they're just bad at expressing it.  If your kid gives you a feasible answer to the question about how to make it less boring, see if you can help them enact something that addresses the answer you were given.  Learning should be fun more often than not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, if you can make a connection, use their interests to develop more interest in the things they don't like.  For example, if your child really likes cinematography, have him or her do a documentary about the subject he or she finds boring.  If he/she is really into music, ask your child to write the lyrics to a song about the subject in question.  I have Alice act things out all the time.  It makes it more interesting to her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T14:24:11.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="335" CreationDate="2012-07-07T15:03:23.790" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started with just signing ourselves for awhile.  ASLpro was not known to me then, but I've used it since and it is a WONDERFUL resource.  I recommend it to you now.  At about 5-6 months we introduced &quot;my baby can talk&quot; videos to Alice.  When she was about 18 months to two years we added the &quot;Signing Time&quot; Videos, but she still often wanted the &quot;my baby can talk videos&quot;. Signing Time is wonderful, but a little fast for the very young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want a list of great words to start with try, I suggest; milk, more, food, and drink first.  From there you can add so much more, but there is somewhat of an order that works best that follows how kids learn spoken language as well. Use as much ASL as you can, but they will be most motivated to learn signs for things they need and things they really want.  For example, the Baby Einstein videos with sign language include words like Window.  I don't know many kids who are all that interested in knowing the word window. Especially when they are often near one to which they can always just point.  However, &quot;bear&quot; might be out of sight when little one wants her &quot;bear&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-23T09:25:02.020" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T09:25:02.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="594" CreationDate="2012-07-07T15:06:40.103" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Socialization is not the problem for homeschoolers most people think it is and YES there has been research done on the matter.  This article by the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/dec/13/home-schooling-socialization-not-problem/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Washington Times&lt;/a&gt; summarizes much of the most recent findings, for more there are more citations at the bottom of this answer.  The most recent findings are that homeschoolers typically have BETTER social skills than their mortar and brick school peers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your assumption that children that are schooled at home get little to know out-of-home socialization may be based on the belief that socialization requires children to socialize other children.  Quite to the contrary, everytime a child is taught about manners, experiences interactions with other people in general (on errands with mom for example) and participates in activities within the community (family, church, broader community) they are getting social interaction.  This article on the pros and cons of homeschooling I wrote (after a lot of research on the matter) has a section explaining how a greater variety of &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/05/those-of-us-with-four-year-old-in-house.html#!/2012/05/those-of-us-with-four-year-old-in-house.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;social interactions&lt;/a&gt; (meaning experience with multiple ages etc) is advantageous. Just scroll down to the &quot;Pros&quot;.  You might also get a chuckle out of Messy Monday's Blimycow.com vlog titled 7 lies about homeschoolers.  This kid was homeschooled and has a great sense of humor about the &quot;myths&quot; he lists while he makes some pretty good points.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, they do need a VARIETY of interactions including interactions with people of other races, religions, political beliefs etc. to be as well rounded as possible and as adaptive as possible.  There is nothing wrong with a child who is shy or doesn't like large group interactions (like happne in most &quot;extracurriculars&quot; people think of first).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you have a quieter child that would enjoy small-group or quieter kinds of activities than you have offered already.  Even one on one types of interactions still provide good exposures.  I can't imagine a kid who would never want to have a play date.  Does your library offer a book club for kids?  What about Chess or singles tennis lessons?  Honor who you have as a child and know that even in public schools there are kids who are &quot;shy&quot;, but do keep trying to find something engaging. Perhaps your child would be more comfortable with something the two of you can participate in something like &quot;Indian Princesses&quot; which is a lot like girl scouts but stresses father/daughter activities (I don't know a whole lot else about it, my niece and brother in law are in this club together).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Socialization isn't just about learning to &quot;play&quot; with others and knowing about popular media.  It is about manners, taking turns, knowing how to interact in a variety of situations, knowing how to act with a variety of people, learning about tact . . .  If you are getting out and about yourself (with them along), addressing social skills as a part of your curricula and exposing them to others that have a variety of outlooks and experiences, you are socializing them.  In terms of taking turns and sharing -they're probably learning that from time with siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Public School Vs Homeschool Socialization By Joan Vasquez Homeschool Provides Better Socialization by Mary Peterson Nuh Uh! Homeschoolers Are Too Socialized! By dreahwrites &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/vtch20&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/vtch20&lt;/a&gt; http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/0161956X.2000.9681938 Homeschooling: Breaking The Myths About... by Paula Sloan Socialization Does Occur Within Homeschooling Families by Brenda Hoffman Public School Vs. Homeschool:Who Can Do A Better Job At... by Brenda Hoffman Socialization: Why School Is The Worst Place To Get It by Nan Got Socialization?: A Homeschooling Father's... by Robert Keating Socialization In School?: Is Socialization A Reason For Or Against... by Karen Kaiser &lt;a href=&quot;http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/human-relations/56224.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/human-relations/56224.html&lt;/a&gt; http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/dec/13/home-schooling-socialization-not-problem/ www.hslda.ca/cche &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.homeschool.com/articles/socialization/default.asp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.homeschool.com/articles/socialization/default.asp&lt;/a&gt; http://learninfreedom.org/socialization.html For a good laugh on the subject, check out &quot;Messy Mondays, Seven Lies about Homeschoolers&quot; by Blimy Cow. on You Tube (not full of statistics but true in a sarcastic and funny sort of way every highschool homeschooler I know loves it)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-13T02:36:58.407" LastActivityDate="2012-07-13T02:36:58.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5237" CreationDate="2012-07-07T15:24:17.477" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a teacher in a two's classroom for a couple of years and I have to say, &lt;strong&gt;most of what we taught, we taught through play and exposure in books and art activities&lt;/strong&gt;.  We didn't explicityly &quot;teach&quot; as you would see done in a classroom for older children, nor would I suggest such &quot;teaching.&quot;  Your child is two and will &lt;strong&gt;learn simply by being an playing so don't stress out about anything on any of the lists offered here&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on what you see as priorities to you and the day to day needs of your family and family schedule.  For many families the two biggest priorities with kids this age are, &lt;strong&gt;Safety issues and hygeine&lt;/strong&gt;, as well as &lt;strong&gt;communication.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Communication means teaching them how to express there emotions, needs and wants in appropriate ways vs. inappropriate ways.  (Kids at this age have a tendency to grab, throw fits, pout, scream or use physical means to get what they want - part of the learning process is modeling for them while correcting)  I know you want the cookie, but dinner is almost ready having a fit will not change that - how else you could you tell me you are frustrated/disappointed? . . . you know the typical drill.  There is &lt;strong&gt;a lot&lt;/strong&gt; of learning going on in these exchanges alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly it is great if you are &lt;strong&gt;engaging with your child&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;facilitating opportunities for your child to play &quot;with&quot; others&lt;/strong&gt; (which, at this age usually really means play near or around other children) and &lt;strong&gt;reading to your child regularly&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;strong&gt;At two, &quot;teaching&quot; a child is really just about exposing them to as much of the &quot;safe&quot; parts of the world as you can - they will learn from there.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some ideas I didn't see listed in other answers already are:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Walking in a line&lt;/strong&gt; (not line of kids, but in a straight line, curved line and zig-zag line).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Name Recognition&lt;/strong&gt; - child knows and can identify own name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Matching and Sorting -&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;(you can do a lot at home with this one just while you do chores.  Clean up time is all about sorting and what about having her help you sort the laundry?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Place -&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;children start hearing references to their city vs. other towns or cities he/she might visit.  Address is usually learned around four but start using the language with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Washing Hands -&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;We even did a whole month all about germs and the importance of cleanliness and hygeine (you are probably doing a lot of this anyway).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Potty Training -&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;Most of my time was engaged in potty training when I was a two's teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Meeting People -&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;introducing, saying hi, nice to meet you. . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Scissor Skills -&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;this will be important when she does go to school but is often overlooked by parents (I certainly wouldn't have thought of it on my own either).  What I mean here, is not using scissors well, just the safety of them, that they should only be used (for now) when supervision is occuring, and how to carry them safely.  Kids should get the opportunity to cut with safety scissors starting when they are nearing the age of three - with supervision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Musical Awareness&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;besides singing songs we did a lot of music and movement, clapping games etc.  The kids were exposed to child friendly music in many genres: broadway, jazz, classical, rock, country. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Outdoor Awareness:&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;This included safety issues like &lt;strong&gt;crossing streets while holding hands and staying right with guardians&lt;/strong&gt; and introductions to the basics behind staying away from &quot;tricky people.&quot;  Outdoor awareness also included naming &lt;strong&gt;local insects&lt;/strong&gt; (learning which ones to alert a teacher to and not touch vs. which ones are just &quot;cool&quot; is a GREAT thing for kids.  Just teaching them all insects are something to be careful about is simpler, but creates fears), &lt;strong&gt;trees and other plants&lt;/strong&gt; (not that we had any in the classroom, but learning that some plants are &lt;strong&gt;safe and others are not for touching&lt;/strong&gt; is similar to the lesson about insects), commonly encountered large animals (and safety around them) as well as seasonal awareness (changing leaves, weather etc).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Community Helpers:&lt;/strong&gt; becoming familiar with our uniformed public and their respective jobs (police officers, fire fighters, paramedics etc.)  If there was ever an emergency in which your child needed help from one of these people it is good for them to recognize the uniforms and job of that person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sensory Activities:&lt;/strong&gt;  Sensory Stimulus can be a natural part of growing, but it can also be limiting to kids if they don't get enough variety because they can develop fears of the unknown - it also helps with writing skills, oddly enough, and some such activities can be major stress reducers - working with playdoug is an example of this, but my favorite was to squirt some shaving cream on a smoothsurface and just let them play in it, play with feathers, leaves, beans, water etc all count as &quot;sensory&quot; experiences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you would like a short list of what to expect in terms of developmental stages in your child's learning &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/two/&quot;&gt;PBS has this to say about it&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-14T20:49:52.090" LastActivityDate="2013-12-14T20:49:52.090" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-07-07T16:22:01.140" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2012-07-07T16:52:29.900" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are Both Right.  The key is in finding a balance.  I tend to have reasoned too much with Alice and so often when I needed her just to obey because we are in a hurry, or I can't get into all the ways because of the audience etc as she got older, she required too much &quot;reasoning with&quot;.  Here are some things I learned when she was just a little older than yours is now that really helped rebalance us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sticking with methods that do not include a reasoning aspect doesn't allow your child to see you model how you think through decisions, ask questions to help them make decisions in the future, or simply understand the rule to apply it later without you needing to step in, but, to keep things balanced, I suggest not engaging in &quot;reasoning&quot; that takes more than a two to three sentences most of the time.  If it requires a whole paragraph from you, or is becoming a lot of back and forth, your child is probably not fully grasping all of it any way and may not be ready to understand this particular set of &quot;reasons&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, bribing is not a good idea.  Convincing because of the good things that are already coming if you child &quot;gets into the car&quot;, for example, is different.  Never say he or she has a choice if there is no real choice in the matter.  Ultimately, you are the boss but you can still explain why you've made the choice you've made (briefly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also personally avoid, &quot;because I said so&quot; and replace it with a variety of things like.  &quot;I need you to trust me right now, we'll talk about it later&quot; or &quot;because that is what I need right now&quot;.  Its really just a style choice, but I find it to be more open to conversation later, than &quot;because I said so - the reasoning part can happen later as they get older&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, I would suggest that when you can give your child an option, do so.  It will empower him/her at times when that is okay so that you can also say, &quot;I let you decide a lot of things - right now, you need to let me decide this one&quot;.  PLUS it gives your child the opportunity to practice decision making.  Look up and Read, &quot;Parenting with Love and Logic&quot; for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T16:52:29.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5378" CreationDate="2012-07-07T17:04:26.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the checked answer, I would also suggest a rule of &quot;looking but no touching&quot; - Especially in public places and with breakable items at home.  A child does not need to (nor should he) touch everything in order to find out about it. My daughter has always known that when in stores or at a friends house she must always ask if she can touch something, but if she is curious she can look closely without permission. You need to be able to walk into a gift shop and know your child won't be picking everything up that interests him/her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T17:04:26.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2012-07-07T17:42:27.210" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children don't really understand about gender differences and sex before three.  Even if they can identify &quot;what girls have and what boys have&quot;.  It is possible that your child isn't experimenting with gender at all and is experimenting with beauty and/or emulating female rolemodels (sister and mom).  This was REALLY common with my three's class when I taught preschool.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T17:42:27.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4746" CreationDate="2012-07-07T23:03:31.917" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you absolutely must hold his hand (like crossing the street, or in the parking lot).  Give him a choice, &quot;Would you like to hold my hand, or be carried?&quot;.  It gives him the sense of control and determination he is looking for but still gives you the peace of mind that you need that he is safe.  If he says hands, but then still tries to get loose, he looses his choice and you carry him or harness him into a stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T23:03:31.917" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2012-07-07T23:10:48.837" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Say, &quot;this is not going to help you get what you want.  When you are ready to calm down come see me&quot;.  Then walk away.  A child should not get ANYTHING for their tantrums, attention included.  If you are in a public space and can't walk away, simply pick up the child and go to a safe place where you can sit and read or something while the child finishes his/her fit.  If you are consistent and the tantrums stop working for your child, the tantrums will stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;THEN, once the tantrum is over, you do need to give your child alternative ways to express the emotions he or she was demonstrating with the fit.  Name the emotion for the child, &quot;I know you are dissapointed&quot; or &quot;angry&quot; or &quot;frustrated&quot; - whatever it is that is the best fit.  Then ask your child if he/she can provide any ideas for a way to express that emotion that is &quot;more appropriate.&quot;  If they can't think of anything - instruct your child in an alternative.  Have your child practice a little, &quot;so now what do you do next time you feel dissapointed?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I general, make sure you are really listening and working on building your relationship.  Giving kids a sense of belonging and understanding they can trust helps as learn to express emotions in more constructive ways because it is how you show them that how they are feeling matters to you and throwing a fit isn't the best way to get their feelings across.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-07T16:13:12.023" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T16:13:12.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3" CreationDate="2012-07-07T23:19:22.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always heard it's a bad idea until they're two.  However, I did use some baby signing videos before that (the pictures are slower moving and I wanted her to learn sign language). Then, when she turned two, we still monitored the content and amount that she watched.  My rule of thumb was, if she's watching I have to watch with her.  That way the TV didn't become a baby sitter and I knew that what she was watching was of true quality (For example, Dora teaches numbers and colors etc. in much the same way as many other shows, but she doesn't really teach much Spanish as a lot of parents are convinced she does - it's often the same sets of words from one episode to the next).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try some other activities to keep them busy.  For example, if you are working in the kitchen, give them a &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/07/sensory-activities-for-your-toddler.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;sensory&lt;/a&gt; activity to do instead.  When she turned three we actually shut our cable off so TV viewing is a pretty rare thing.  We do watch videos though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-09T15:21:16.223" LastActivityDate="2018-07-09T15:21:16.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2012-07-07T23:47:17.543" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What has worked well for us is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: Dole out small portions to begin with (and I might make a serving with less spice or something if I'm making a meal that is not so kid friendly).  I regularly use salad plates as our dinner plates.  Seconds are welcome when everything on the first plate was finished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B: If she does not eat a proportionate amount of veggies, I save them and give them to her with Breakfast, Lunch and then again the next night at Dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;C: If her dinner was not proportionately eaten and she is hungry later, she can have left-overs of the food of which she did not eat enough.  Otherwise, no dessert, no snacks, go to bed hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say proportionate because it really shouldn't be about finishing the plate.  If I've given her a proportioned plate, but when she says she is full all she ate was her roll and two bites of fruit or chicken, she didn't eat a proportionate meal (and yes I use this word with her).  If the portions on her plate are all smaller and she ate relatively proportionate amounts of all the foods on her plate then she can have what the rest of us have for breakfast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T23:47:17.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4190" CreationDate="2012-07-07T23:53:07.597" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, if you are living in Sweden, based on the research I've read, it is right to use English when you are all together.  If using the proportion of 5/7 you are using the language the baby is not exposed to outside the home during the 5 and the exposure language during 1 0r 2/7 the child will be prepared well enough for school.  So It sounds like a pretty good plan based on my information.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out &quot;The Bilingual Edge&quot; for more of the research, encouragement and a listing of supportive online communities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a side note, why wait on the Japanese.  Grandma can introduce that right away.  Contrary to popular belief, it will not confuse matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-07T23:53:07.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2843" CreationDate="2012-07-08T01:17:23.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why is she having to race to a bag of toys to get &quot;the best one?&quot; in the first place?  If she is just having this problem at parties then it really isn't a problem.  She just doesn't like these kinds of games.  Make sure to play OTHER less competitive types of games at her own party.  she can choose to participate at other parties or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is part of her school's structure, you might want to address it at the school because these kinds of games aren't really appropriate for a three's classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It really sounds to me like she just doesn't like crowds.  Perhaps her type of competitive sport when she is older will be singles tennis, it doesn't mean she can't handle a little competition at all.  If I'm wrong, please illuminate us with more examples and we can all learn from your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are truly concerned about her ability to &quot;stand up for herself&quot; like your other question indicated, Cabbey's answer is a GREAT one.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would only add as a piece of information rather than advice, that at four (at least in our area) they can be signed up for Martial Arts which not only helps to develop the ABILITY to fight, but confidence in general (for example, the goal of board breaking is simply to develop confidence, to let the child know they are capable of something our brains tell us is impossible).  I caution that she should only be signed up for such an activity, if she wishes to be and Martial Arts should not be forced on her in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-14T23:19:24.600" LastActivityDate="2012-11-14T23:19:24.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5467" CreationDate="2012-07-08T06:56:59.623" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the keeping up with production front, it was suggested to me that I pump about 20 minutes BEFORE at least one regular feeding (like at bedtime for example) after the first month or so.  It increases production to have so much demand all at once.  Just an idea to try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T06:56:59.623" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4442" CreationDate="2012-07-08T07:01:22.160" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I worked when my little one was an infant so I really had to have the electronic one, however, If I was running a field trip, I brought along my Medela hand pump.  It was almost as fast I just couldn't do both sides at the same time and I got about an ounce less/side, but if you won't be working, you'll most likely rarely need to pump so the hand pump might work really well for you for those occasions when you do (it was quiet and comfortable too)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T07:01:22.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5505" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5512" CreationDate="2012-07-08T08:01:04.723" Score="2" ViewCount="2608" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are taking our little 5 month old girl on vacation on the coast in the North of Spain, near Barcelona. Our little girl loves her baths and we want to introduce her to joys of swimming. Thus our vacation will consist of a lot of swimming, both in the hotel pool and the Mediterranean Sea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've thought of things such making sure that she has a hat, sunscreen, and a whole body UV-swimsuit to protect her from the sun, and we'll avoid swimming in the hot part of the day. Naturally, we won't be letting her swim on her own, though we may encourage her to float on her own or even go under the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What things should we be concerned with when taking our girl swimming in a pool and in the sea? With the chlorine/salt be bad for her eyes? What about her ears? Are there any precautions we need to take? Any medicine we should bring with us just in case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-09T22:09:22.680" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T22:09:22.680" Title="Taking a 5 month old on swimming vacation" Tags="|safety|travel|swimming|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5506" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-08T11:42:12.370" Score="22" ViewCount="10356" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 16 year old daughter who, whenever she has free time wastes it on things that I think are futile like Facebook, Tumblr, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's also performing poorly at school. I've talked to her about improving but she does nothing to change, or the change is ephemeral after my complaining. When I stop to complain, she goes back to her previous behavior. This is bad because it's frustrating and tiring for both of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to motivate her in science, mathematics, and/or music, or at least in something that is worthwhile for her life since she does nothing productive with her time, but all I can do is complain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've gotten advice that instructed me to leave her alone, based on the premise that this is  only a phase, but I get worried about she having this behavior forever. What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2925" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-07-08T12:45:30.110" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T18:02:26.690" Title="How can I motivate my 16 yo daughter to do something valuable with her life?" Tags="|discipline|teen|motivation|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2012-07-08T14:39:12.510" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First question:  How have you taught her about money?  Who pays for her computer and internet time?  Because if you're paying for it, and you don't like it, then cut her off.  My parents had a very strict rule about paying for things they don't like: they didn't do it.  If you wanted it, you needed to pay for it yourself.  She's certainly old enough to get a job for herself if she wants one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach had another effect, that of pointing out what it means to be 'free' in today's society (at least in the US): money gets you conveniences and capabilities you otherwise wouldn't have.  She can go to a library, a school, or use her friends connections if you cut her off, but those are not particularly convenient solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second question: Is there any chance of anything useful coming out of her activities?  There once was a joke about video games, for instance:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/f06Yt.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Gary Larson&amp;#39;s Far Side from the 80s&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember when that comic was in the newspaper, because my parents made a big deal about how there was no money in these silly video games.  Now, they are an enormous industry, and individual players can even get salaries (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thisisgame.com/board/view.php?category=13438&amp;amp;id=609483&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Korean article about player salaries&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=ko&amp;amp;tl=en&amp;amp;js=n&amp;amp;prev=_t&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;amp;layout=2&amp;amp;eotf=1&amp;amp;u=http://www.thisisgame.com/board/view.php?category=13438&amp;amp;id=609483&amp;amp;act=url&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Google Translate link&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, are you sure that nothing good can come out of it?  Perhaps by making sure she pays for her leisure time, she can figure out some way to make something of herself through these activities, ways that we can't even envision now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick, in my head, is not to be overly harsh about this.  If you just cut her off, cold turkey, she may decide to do self destructive things just to try to teach you a lesson about how mean you are by cutting her off.  Maybe saying something like the bills for these services are getting to be too high, so everyone has to pitch in to keep the connections on.  Getting her to participate in paying the bills might help, but then again, I don't have nor have I been a teenage daughter, so the specifics of the transition might be trickier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T14:39:12.510" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2012-07-08T16:17:27.867" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;The thing to worry about most is poor performance at school, only because that has the possibility of really cutting off her options in the future. One question you might ask yourself is &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she isn't interested in other things. Rather than complain--which clearly isn't helping--do what you can to start a dialog. What is she getting out of facebook? Do her friends have similar performance at school? Why is she interested in Tumblr? Are there things she is interested in? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also consider that social networking is a sort of addictive behavior, and it is hard to give up something that keeps triggering your reward centers. She needs to find something else to trigger good feelings, and complaining at her isn't going to help her do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel like she needs time away from pretty much everything social network related, is there something that she would like to do to do that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When one of my younger cousins was feeling similar ennui, I recommended that she go on an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.outwardbound.org/&quot;&gt;Outward Bound&lt;/a&gt; expedition (and argued her parents into paying for it). She came back feeling empowered and started taking control of her future. She was a little more defiant, actually, but she was defiant in better directions--she gave up the violin, which she hated, and started focusing on academics and physical fitness, which she loved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could send your daughter on a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.outwardbound.org/course-finder/wilderness-expeditions/?view=1&amp;amp;who%5B%5D=3&amp;amp;when-start=07/22/2012&amp;amp;when-end=08/19/2012&quot;&gt;sailing or mountaineering course&lt;/a&gt; in late July... she wouldn't have internet access for three weeks. That might help her clear her head and give her a chance to think by herself for a while, which may be exactly what she needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T16:17:27.867" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3459" CreationDate="2012-07-08T17:05:52.783" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former teacher myself, I can understand and relate to your frustration, but you are not speaking as though you have put yourself as &quot;in the parents shoes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to hear you and your concerns they need to understand you are on the same team with them in trying to figure out what is best for their child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are more likely to get further faster in your next conversation if you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to speak about this with them in a private setting where the distraction of children running around is not present and there is no risk of other parents walking in.  You may need the support of your administrator so she can step in and take over your class at pick up or insist on a meeting with all of you to the parents.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you do get your meeting, talk about some of this little girl's strengths first.  It builds rapport.  You need to find something you feel is awesome about this little girl that is fairly specific to speak about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stop talking as though it is already decided that she has a disability.  Despite all your experience and expertise you are not a health care professional and it is possible there are other explanations for these concerns.  Besides, it is off-putting to parents if you say their child has a disability of any kind, particularly without scholarly evidence.  Perhaps she has nothing more than a simple muscular delay.  Perhaps there is something super stressful and distracting for her going on at home that you do not know about. . .  There really is no knowing exactly what is up until more information can be gathered by an expert. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have a record of &quot;concerns&quot;.  Say you are concerned about her academic, socio-emotional, or physical well-being as she moves into school.  Try to have a few four's learning objectives she has met but feel free to list ones she has not.  Have your list typed out as a checklist and fill it out for all your students.  Don't show the parents the forms for the other students but this way you can have numbers like: 90% of these learning objectives have been met by the other four year olds in this program this year.  Your daughter has only met 65%.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Clarify that you think it would HELP their daughter to see a professional about it because a professional might be able to offer extra supports for her, as well as helpful suggestions for them and yourself as well as any future teacher that can help her catch up and fit in better in Kindergarten and beyond.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you come across as truly just concerned for their daughter, rather than annoyed about the difficulty posed by this situation, they might even open up and offer up some concerns of their own too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of your meeting, hand them cards for 2-3 professional people you know others would recommend from which they can choose make it clear they can also find their own professional, you are just trying to help by making things as easy as possible.  The recommendations can be given as a couple of people you know of because of your connections as a teacher.  Then, unfortunately, at this age especially, you'll probably have to let it go.  Four is early for many Special Ed diagnoses (not all, but many) and the parents may still wait.  If that happens, you can know that even if they do, you are alerting them to concerns now, which will make it easier for her K teacher when she has to confront them down the road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-10T07:10:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-11-10T07:10:01.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4890" CreationDate="2012-07-08T17:45:40.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many children, instead of being motivated by reward are motivated by being in control.  Having worked with kids with OD (oppositional Disorder), I've learned how kids can use bad behavior to prove to themselves they are in control when they feel they are being controlled.  I am not saying your kid is OD, but she definitely sounds like she is one of those kids motivated by control.  With these kids neither reward nor punishment will work.  NATURAL consequences both good and bad are your best weapon, but can be ellusive to figure out.  Now that your child is 8, delayed consequence is actually even better than immediate consequence as it is much more true to life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best immediate response is actually to give her some control while asserting your own.  For example, &quot;Would you like to clear the table tonight, or do the washing of the dishes&quot;  Often, kids will comply without even thinking about it and just do one of the options.  If your kid is a little quicker than that and says, &quot;niether&quot; I've included options below.  The key here in this first form of action is to &lt;strong&gt;make sure both options are ones you are happy with&lt;/strong&gt; but give two to three options.  IT WILL NOT WORK IF ANY OF THE OPTIONS ARE DISAGREEABLE TO YOU OR ARE REALLY JUST VIELED THREATS i.e. &quot;Would you like to clear your plate, or be grounded for a week?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would give her a daily and weekly chore list with each chore actually being two options.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't complete her chores by throwing a fit, or just not doing them, don't get upset, cojole or even punish.  Do the chore for her, but say, &quot;Wow, I hope this works out for you.  I'm going to be really sad when a consequence comes along because of your choice right now&quot;  If she is throwing a fit say that and NOTHING more. Let her have her tantrum.  In adult life, if she doesn't want to do dishes, she might be able to hire a maid (course she has to have the funds), so you could consider charging her some nominal amount of her money for every chore you wind up doing (this could be lucrative for her sister as well) it is a real-life solution and when her funds run dry a real-life consequence that she can no-longer pay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the chores aren't done (or paid for) when she gets invited to the next chance for a movie with a friend, or the next time you all are doing something special as a family, or whatever.  She can't participate.  Your words, &quot;I know.  Its really sad.  While we are out celebrating (or whatever you have to stay here) we will miss you so much.  Its such a bummer you won't do your chores.&quot;  Do NOT sound sarcastic, sound genuine.  Connect it with something like, &quot;If you would do your part in the family community, then you could celebrate with the family community.  Bummer&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be truly sad with her, but don't let her drag you down.  If she throws another fit, say, &quot;I know, Its really sad and I love you and feel for you.  I look forward to seeing you when we get back&quot; and WALK AWAY.  This is not a punishment it is a consequence of the fact that she is not taking care of things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In adult life, throwing fits, will mean others won't want to be with her.  Teach her this now in a way only the loving and supportive parent can.  When she is throwing a fit, reassure her you love her and then WALK AWAY.  No extra attention, no more of her controlling your time, just, &quot;I love you&quot; and walk away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise, if she doesn't get chores done, her home will not be a pleasant place.  She might not get bills paid (paying bills is a chore in my book), she certainly won't be able to maintain a job if she won't do what she is asked. . . so natural consequences now is better than natural consequences later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me recommend a book, &quot;Parenting with Love and Logic&quot; (the teacher's version was very useful to me and I now use the parenting version with my own kid), and then a website that is really designed for homeschooling families but has a lot of good insights about children and motivating children that are motivated by control.  The Dad is a principle, and the mom homeschools her daughter.  It is called, schooleffectivelyathome.com.  You might find some good articles with information about this style of parenting useful to you.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T17:45:40.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5505" CreationDate="2012-07-08T21:59:49.593" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, so I didn't find anything about Medications, but I do know that babies can be in the water from birth with a few precautions.  You might make sure to have some eye drops (just saline solution) in case her eyes dry out, but only use them as a salve, not a precaution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most simply, make sure she doesn't over-do it.  There is something about water that tires you out faster than other activities might.  The more tired she is, the less able to function she might become and the more dangerous things become (plus, if she is at all like mine, she'll get crabby).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the salt water, you'll need to be careful about her drinking it and it getting in her eyes.  For a while with new ones, when you blow in their face they automatically close their eyes and hold their breath.  I'm not sure if that reflex is still in effect at 5 months.  It would only take a quick check with her to find out.  If this is still a response at 5 months, do this and then dunk her so she doesn't develop a fear of getting the water in her face.  You can play, &quot;I'm a little coo coo clock&quot; you sing, &quot;tick tock, tick tock, I'm a little coo coo clock.  Now I'm striking one o clock&quot;.  Then blow and dunk once.  Start over again but this time, strik two o clock, dunk twice etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget the sunscreen for the places not covered by what I imagine must be a rash guard suit from what you described in your question (and it needs about 30 minutes of time between application and the water to real develop the shield on the skin).  Also have her wear a hat that can get sandy, salty and wet to help protect those eyes.  If she's pretty easy going you might want to get her goggles (they do sell them in very small sizes for toddlers and with uva and uvb protection in the lenses as well - these would help with keeping the sun and water out of her eyes). With the sun reflecting off the water its effect becomes much stronger.  Eyes can get sun burn rather quickly too, if goggles won't work because they are too uncomfortable then you can also get her a pair of sunglasses.  Check the sunshield rating, many sunglasses don't actually provide much protection - this one is definitely worth the extra expense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a pretty relevant article about 5 &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.themomcrowd.com/5-precautions-before-taking-your-toddler-to-a-pool&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;things to think about around the water&lt;/a&gt; with kids.  considerations specifically related to safety around the water with kids.  It only takes a minute and an inch.  She suggests floaties, but I hear floaties are actually NOT a good idea because if the child's arms get tired the floaties don't ensure the face stays out of the water so a life vest for her size is probably your safest bet.  (they can also slip out of inner-tubes so those may be fun, but not really a safety device).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring along some &quot;splash toys&quot; like a baster from your kitchen.  Here is an article about great things for &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/06/extra-bath-time-water-table-play-for.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;water play for your little one&lt;/a&gt;, to help her splash and play while she sits in the shallows with you without a whole bunch of extra cash going into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-08T22:07:59.700" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T22:07:59.700" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3565" CreationDate="2012-07-08T22:23:19.600" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to speaking with your pediatrician when you have a specific question, I liked the &quot;The What to expect&quot; books for the most part, but I actually found Dr. Sears' Book, &quot;The Baby Book&quot; more useful (especially in regard to suggestions etc.)  during my daughter's early years.  Here is a link to a related &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;website&lt;/a&gt; with contributors that are all pediatric physicians or nurses.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have also thoroughly enjoyed a book called &quot;The Busy Book&quot; with all kinds of ideas for activities to do with your toddler.  I also offer up ideas from my daughter's own toddlerhood, time with a little boy I nanny, and memories from my years as a preschool teacher on my &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;website&lt;/a&gt; for activities that are particularly fun from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T22:23:19.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="380" CreationDate="2012-07-08T23:00:17.377" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, Social Development is a pretty broad topic and a lot of it happens fairly naturally.  Even gender identity falls under this category and we all develop one at some point.  At the same time, you are right to want to specifically address this with your kids.  You should know that one of my basic assumptions is that good manners, good social graces and social awareness are all closely linked.  A person who is empathetic, thoughtful and fairly self-aware, will automatically exhibit good social graces.  With that in mind, I think there are Three major things you can do with your child at almost any age to help with Social Development in significant ways and one more you can add once they reach age 7 or 8 or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get out and about and while you are at it, model good social graces yourself:  Listen carefully to those you love, Use good manners, language, and exhibit the spirit of empathy etc. yourself, consistently with your child/children as well as cashiers, teachers, waiters at restaurants, other service personal, friends, enemies (definitely the hardest one) etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read and Speak about it:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Have regular family meetings with the goal of speaking about an ethical dilemma, situation that requires empathy, or even just good habits in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some great resources to help facilitate this that I have used include:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;Seven Habits Series&quot;: Of interest to families, &quot;The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Families&quot;, &quot;The Seven Habits of Successful Teens&quot; and &quot;The Seven Habits of Happy Kids&quot; (that last one is FABULOUS for elementary kids).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;10 minute Life Lessons For Kids by Jamie Miller:&lt;/strong&gt;  This book includes fun activities and &quot;games&quot; to play to get a better grasp of concepts relating to Honesty, Trrust, Love, Empathy etc.  - Great for Primary School.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;E is for Ethics&lt;/strong&gt; by Ian James Corlett:  This book gives 26 quick stories with discussion questions to help get a conversation going after the story has been read.  Great for Preschool through about 2nd or 3rd grade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Aesop's Fables&lt;/strong&gt;:  The version we have was illustrated by Nora Fry:  This is a wonderful collection of classic stories that illustrate just about any type of quality of character.  You can read a story and after they are fairly familiar with what a fable actually is, you can even have them predict what the fable will be before you read it to them.  Sometimes its interesting what they get out of a story vs. what you do and what Aesop intended.  Then you can talk about modern examples of stories that would show the same lesson.  Besides, these stories are just good literature anyway.  If you are religious you can relate these discussions to your core values within your religion as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While watching movies or reading books where a child (or adult) is behaving in a not-so-gracious kind of way, pause the movie and ask your kid questions like, &quot;what do you think about that choice that child just made?&quot;  &quot;What do you predict will happen to this child later in this movie because of this choice?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are TONS of great movies and picture books out there about all kinds of social graces as well as issues.  For example, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory gives some great examples of some pretty anti social behavior (social graces), while Fly Away Home is a great picture book by Eve Bunting that shows a child and father that are homeless and live at the airport (understanding social issues).  Then there is also a host of wonderful books about manners out there as well.  I especially like &quot;Do Unto Otters&quot; by Laurie Keller for little ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your child/children lots of opportunities to practice.  Make sure they are engaged in a few activities that offer exposure to a range of people and ages.  Make sure they participate in play dates as well.  Let them learn from watching others too.  Gently and Respectfully correct bad (related) behaviors, but rather than offer up the alternative you think would have been better, ask your child about it.  For example, &quot;how do you think so and so felt when you said, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; would you like some one to say that to you?&quot;.  &quot;When mom just spent all that time making a nice meal for us, how do you think she feels when you turn your nose up at it and won't even give it a try?&quot;. . .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the last one, that has a specific age: When they are old enough to become civically involved, get your children involved.  Civic duty is as much a part of social development as many other things.  That can mean (depending on ages) helping with a beach clean up, creating an education campaign about a pet issue of yours to going with you to the polls when you vote and learning about that process and how you think through the decisions you make when you vote.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have fun, and let us know what else you find please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-08T23:05:30.053" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T23:05:30.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5126" CreationDate="2012-07-08T23:14:07.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not finding anything recent.  I think Rory Alsop is probably correct about it being a &quot;legacy guidance&quot;.  If your baby is already nursing well, I wouldn't worry about using a bottle at all.  If this is still a concern for you, (I see the date of your post was back in May) you can generally trust the pediatrician to have the most up-to-date answers for you.  Also, Nipple confusion is one of those things we all get warned against, but then it doesn't happen all that often anyway.  I nannied for a young man that had trouble with it though.  It wasn't that big of a deal though, because she could still pump and he was still getting the nutrients when it was given to him from a bottle - plus Dad could participate more.  It might be disappointing for the mother if that happened but it isn't going to mean the difference between life and death or even success or non-success later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-08T23:14:07.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2012-07-09T01:35:03.410" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, make sure she only has access to the computer where you are - for example, she has to be on the computer at in the kitchen only.  This way you can monitor time spent on what and have the power to take her computer privelege away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, You might go over the idea of &quot;first things first&quot; with her.  You can't personally have internet service if you can't pay for it, and you pay for the priviledge of being on Stack Exchange (for example) by going to work and getting your work duties done first.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her &quot;work&quot; right now is to learn and do well in school.  So, for every piece of quality homework she has completed (and you are the judge of its quality) and shows you, she gets 15 minutes online for things like Tumblr or Facebook.  Make it clear that other than that, you are the parent and it isn't her option because she isn't taking care of first things first.  When she can prove to you that she is taking care of first things first on her own, she can earn the priveledge of setting her own time limits back again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T01:35:03.410" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5518" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5536" CreationDate="2012-07-09T02:31:03.120" Score="3" ViewCount="105" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a place to find homeschooling requirements on a state-by-state basis in the United States (or a listing for other countries as well)?  I am most interested in the requirement for entering a certain grade or skipping between grades, as homeschooled students often can complete curricula ahead of time, but may still not meet state requirements for being in the next grade up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2012-07-09T17:36:54.050" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T18:15:09.493" Title="Where to find information on homeschooling requirements by state?" Tags="|primary-schooler|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4477" CreationDate="2012-07-09T03:05:40.020" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You concern would be founded if there is pressure exerted, but believe it or not, you have objectives for your kids right away.  By three months you expect them to begin holding their head up on their own (you gave your child tummy time to help facilitate meeting this objective).  You expect them to start turning toward you when you call their name (you spoke to them a lot and used their name with them).  You expect them to say dada and mama around the time they turn one.  These are all &quot;learning objectives&quot; that you helped to facilitate your child accomplishing in one way or another.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the preschool where I worked we had learning objectives (or goals) for our two's class such as, &quot;recognizes own name&quot; and &quot;can identify three colors out of seven&quot;.  These goals were to help guide us in choosing activities that touched on a range of modalities for our kids so they were getting the most varied - yet developmentally appropriate - experience possible.  It really was more of a guide for us than a measurement of the kids.  At the end of the year we went through a checklist of these goals and no one saw that checklist except the head of school.  Some of the objectives were the kinds of things you would see on a developmental abilities chart &quot;can jump&quot;, &quot;can walk in a straight line&quot;, &quot;can walk along a zig zag line&quot;.  The only two's objective that got any pressure (after they turned three) was &quot;can use the potty&quot; because they couldn't move from the two's room to the three's room without this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To meet the objectives we would play games, do crafts, sing songs, have story time. . .  For example if we wanted to expose a child to community helpers (a safety objective for the threes is that a child can recognize police, firefighter and paramedic uniforms as signifying these people as community helpers), we would play dress up and make sure to include child versions of these uniforms, use puzzles on another day that depicted community helpers, Read books about community helpers, take a field trip to the fire house, have a police officer as a guest speaker, the kids had puppets with these characters and could act out their community helper puppets doing their jobs. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Three's objectives included the list of (around 50) objectives that were exactly the same as for the twos and a few that were appropriate for a three year old were added.  Examples of these were, &quot;can recognize some of the letters of the alphabet&quot;, &quot;can safely hold scissors,&quot; (child scissors of course)  and &quot;can count to ten&quot;.  Another ten or so were added for the fours.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child did not meet an objective, it was of no concern because it was assumed they would eventually meet a good portion of the objectives but never assumed they would meet all of the objectives before Kindergarten.  On the other hand, if they weren't meeting Most of the objectives that were related to developmental milestones, it acted as a red flag that a particular child might need a little extra support in something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply ask to see examples of the school's typical &quot;learning objectives&quot; and you most likely will think them fairly reasonable.  It is pretty unlikely they are talking about anything considered &quot;highly academic&quot; especially considering that the examples you gave already were about independence and social well-being (sharing, interacting with others. . .)  If the learning objectives have something like, &quot;count to one hundred&quot; for the two year olds, then I'd be concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-09T03:15:40.473" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T03:15:40.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="591" CreationDate="2012-07-09T03:24:15.160" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are in the United States, this &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5579/2876&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; takes you to a very similar question and its answer for considerations for kindergarten.  It has a nearly complete list of attributes to consider in your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-07-14T20:03:30.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5415" CreationDate="2012-07-09T03:32:15.760" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a really good picture book called &quot;Fly Away Home&quot; by eve bunting.  It has been a long time since I've read it, but it is a story about a man and his son who live in the airport and may offer up some ideas for you.  Not all homeless are mentally ill either.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure there are probably some good treatises for kids about mental illness as well.  I'd suggest asking your local children's librarian for ideas (they are often VERY helpful) with this kind of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T03:32:15.760" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5415" CreationDate="2012-07-09T07:41:32.217" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;He might have known for the first time that some people cannot take getting food when they want for granted. He may want to know why. It does create some kind of insecurity in the child's mind when he/she sees such a thing for the first time, since till that time he is taking for granted that everyone gets food/home/toys when one wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good way to build children's mentality about this is to teach them the importance of earning, education.. We tell our child that because these people did not study they cannot enter into an office and work, they do not understand the work there. Hence it is important to study in the childhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2930" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T07:41:32.217" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5444" CreationDate="2012-07-09T07:48:51.367" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Holding the baby upright with its head on your shoulder and gently patting on the back till the baby burps (a small sound, you need to be listening) after every feed may help with this problem. &#xA;Also they say the babies who vomit grow faster and healthier ... so nothing to worry about!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2930" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T07:48:51.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5451" CreationDate="2012-07-09T08:47:46.510" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If they are getting enough sleep then that's good, the only thing that is going wrong is the time they are going to sleep and waking up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set a routine to wake them up early at the same time every day and stick to it. In other words, no matter what happens make them wake up at the same time. If they wake up early they will sleep early. Wake them at 7am and within a few days they will start sleeping at 7pm as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2931" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T08:47:46.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5526" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5527" CreationDate="2012-07-09T08:59:59.460" Score="28" ViewCount="75984" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 22-month-old daughter absolutely hates getting her hair wet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At bathtime, she complains (crying, but without tears) when I pour water on her head in preparation for washing her hair (even if I'm careful not to get the water in her face and ears). She doesn't mind when I wash the hair. Rinsing is the same. Wetting her hair by having her lean back into my hand and dipping the back of her head is the same...she's very emotionally uncomfortable in this position. (Once, I even put her on her back in the empty bathtub before turning the water on, and she panicked and got up very quickly.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine this goes back to something we must have done earlier - my wife suggested that we might have gotten water in her ears when she had ear infections. Either way, the real question here is, what can we do to help her overcome this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T05:40:24.703" LastActivityDate="2018-11-13T01:11:09.863" Title="How to help a toddler overcome the fear of water on head?" Tags="|toddler|fears|bathing|water|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2012-07-09T10:19:57.440" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had exactly the same situation with our daughter, until very recently (she is three years old now). The best recommendation I can give you is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Patience..&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Patience..&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Patience...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were &lt;strong&gt;always firm&lt;/strong&gt; about washing her hair regularly, even though she protested quite strongly. On the other hand, we always &lt;strong&gt;told her before&lt;/strong&gt;, that we would wash her hair today (like, at noon, when we usually bathe her shortly before night-time, and repeatedly during the afternoon). That did not make her like it any more, but I believe that it is important to be honest to your child in those things.&#xA;When it was time to wash her hair, we informed her again of what was about to happen, and &lt;strong&gt;addressed her protests&lt;/strong&gt; (&quot;I know you don't like it, but it has to be done, I'm sorry sweety&quot;) instead of ignoring them. I believe that this is important, because we want our child to know that we listen to her, so that she can confide in us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It went like this for almost two years, and suddenly, about 6 weeks ago, she started rinsing her hair herself. &lt;strong&gt;Miracles do happen...&lt;/strong&gt; ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, it your daughter's reaction does not necessarily have to be caused by something you did earlier, maybe she just doesn't like it, period. Don't beat yourself up because of this, thinking that you are bad parents, because &lt;strong&gt;you aren't!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T10:19:57.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2012-07-09T14:06:14.237" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Treb makes some wonderful points that I hope you find reassuring.  In addition to these, we had the same problem with our little one for awhile too.  The way we solved it was by giving her a choice to let us do it or she could do it while we monitored and made sure all of it got rinsed.  She learned how to lean back somewhat and use the a cup while she sat up (this required a lot of time because we had to say the parts she'd missed and help her learn to angle her head so she could get them).  She eventually realized how hard it was for her to do it herself with the cup and became okay with laying back and rinsing it (herself). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It really worked out wonderfully because now she is that much more independent and the fact that she'll lay back made learning to float on her back in the water feasible too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T14:06:14.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3950" CreationDate="2012-07-09T15:43:04.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, there is a higher occurence of perfectionistic tendencies amongst gifted children.  However, causality is not well established.  It may be an intrinsic tendency, or it may arise out of the higher expectations parents and teachers have of their gifted children - my personal belief is that it probably isn't one or the other, but some combination of both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are already some great answers here, so I just want to add that with my own (advanced and perfectionistic child - who is also an only child) as well as with the gifted adolescents I had in my classrooms, I constantly discuss how important mistakes are.  Without mistakes we wouldn't learn.  If we can already answer all the questions or already do everything exactly right, then we already knew it and aren't learning anything at all.  Then I make sure to keep value in learning.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally use examples from science because many times scientists learn far more from their mistaken hypotheses than their correct hypotheses (and because I was a science teacher for nearly a decade).  However, there are examples of the idea in many walks of life.  For example, how many strike outs did Babe Ruth get for every home run?  How many publishers turned down your child's favorite books for publishing before the right publishing house was found?  Start incorporating as many of these kinds of expamles into her awareness as you can through story and discussion - it will really help in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fun Resources that include this concept:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The song (and scene with said song) &quot;up from the ashes&quot; from &quot;Chitty Chitty Bang Bang&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Meet the Robinsons&quot; (the movie)  The idea of &quot;keep moving forward&quot; is illucidated in this movie along with &quot;celebration of failure&quot;.  Everyone cheers when Louis makes a mistake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure there others (I will definitely look for them) and thanks for the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-09T16:33:13.753" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T16:33:13.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5532" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5592" CreationDate="2012-07-09T16:01:03.453" Score="3" ViewCount="305" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4yo has grown out from her table and we are thinking about buying that a bigger one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than &quot;table should be sturdy, no sharp edges&quot; - what should we check before buying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to make sure that the table and chairs are of the right size to make the seating/activities comfortable. What should we measure to make sure the table / chairs will fit well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has been sitting at her current table since she was 2yo, is it realistic to expect that the new chair will last (until she grow out of it) for another 2years (from 4.5yo to 6.5yo)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am asking to many questions because now she is spending more and more time doing her education activities at the table, so it is very important to get it right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user413" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:52:02.810" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T22:52:02.810" Title="Buying a kids table/chairs for 4-6yo, what to look at?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3928" CreationDate="2012-07-09T16:17:18.323" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;NGenius gave a very good and specific answer about how to improve her handwriting, from a teacher's perspective this would be the usual answer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you say that she &quot;picks things up very quickly&quot;.  There is a relationship between gifted kids, left-handedness, and delays in &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/07/activities-to-help-your-toddlers-finer.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fine motor coordination&lt;/a&gt; in both lefties and righties.  It has been pretty well established that their brains typically develop differently than the brains of non-gifted kids.  When I taught in a 2e classroom (kids that are gifted but that also have a learning or emotional disability that makes a regular classroom too difficult for them to excel in), most of my students had a lap top on which they did all their work, took all their notes etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is possible that she is not yet ready to get her letters perfect or even legible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've had quite a struggle with this one in our house, so I've written about it a few times on my blog.  There is an article about &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/05/early-writing-skills-and-letter.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;prewriting skills&lt;/a&gt; activities in preschool and &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/07/learning-to-write-alphabet.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;learning to write the alphabet&lt;/a&gt; already on the blog as well as one about the &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/07/comment-on-how-well-typer-island-is.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;typing program&lt;/a&gt; I recently purchased and introduced to her.  I did this so she could type most of her work and only have to write when we are specifically working on handwriting (This year that will be for about 20 minutes, 2 times/week) or she is writing in her History Journal or Science log.  Both subjects are ones she really enjoys, so she is more willing to struggle through the writing aspects for these two subjects than she is some of the &quot;more boring&quot; subjects.  She LOVES the typing program and often ASKS if she can work on learning her typing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this system tells my child that I love her as she is and I support her strengths and exploring those strengths.  We don't get bogged down in worrying too much about getting her handwriting perfected, but she isn't getting out of that work entirely which lets her know that working on building up our weaknesses is important too - its just about keeping it all in balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T16:17:18.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4260" CreationDate="2012-07-09T16:31:38.260" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is wrong with letting her cry?  Perhaps if she is allowed to cry it out and you just give her a few supportive words, &quot;I know its frustrating&quot; followed by an, &quot;How can I help&quot; she'll stop.  Ask her about what is going on.  If the problem is that she is crying so much it is preventing her from moving forward or getting anything done, state your concerns and follow them with a supportive question.  &quot;I'm concerned that you seem to be crying a lot, is there something else bothering you too?&quot;, &quot;Do you want to talk more about it?&quot;, &quot;Crying is one way we express sadness, but it seems like you cry a lot so I think you must be really sad.  I love you and want to help.  What is making you so sad?&quot;. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T16:31:38.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="103" CreationDate="2012-07-09T16:51:23.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've spoken with Alice about how words have power and meaning behind them, but if we use them too much or in the wrong context they lose that power and meaning and it makes the user of the word look as though they are less intelligent than the are.  Basically, she has been told, if she drops a hammer on her toe, or other some such thing and a bad word slips out of her mouth, I'll probably over look it because that is actually what those words are for.  But if she is using those words in ways for which they were not meant, she is calmly reminded what the word is actually for similarly to how I remind her to use are instead of is when it is coupled with a plural.  If she starts using a word too often, I remind her that it is beginning to lose its meaning (I even did this recently with the word &quot;frick&quot; which is actually not a curse word but a replacement to one and she was using it a lot.  It has been a week and I haven't heard it once again since) The intent is for it to come across as simply being a part of her language education.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some curse words can be used to hurt others (in terms of their meanings) but there is a problem if she is trying to hurt others in the first place and that would be the more important problem to address if she was using those kinds of words anyway.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This reasoning worked well with a high school student I had in Freshman Bio that swore a lot too.  I told him I respected his intellect and wanted his language usage to reflect the high level of intelligence I knew he had (his IQ was in the 120-140 range which is in fact pretty high - in other words it wasn't just flattery and he believed it wasn't just flattery).  I told him that as his teacher, it was my job to teach him as much as I could to prepare him for the acquisition of a career and that using language incorrectly would not reflect the intellect an employer would surely find useful in him.  Although I'm sure he still used his bad language at times, he respected my very respectful approach enough that his parents noticed a change at home and remarked about it to him.  He told them what I had explained and they were all over me with amazement and gratitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T16:51:23.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5518" CreationDate="2012-07-09T18:15:09.493" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The HSLDA is a great resource for this.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.hslda.org/laws/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.hslda.org/laws/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2462" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T18:15:09.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5537" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-09T21:40:05.457" Score="1" ViewCount="8967" Body="&lt;p&gt;We do a lot of activities that seem to use food coloring in our house - making play doh, playing with colored vinegar and baking soda, etc. Food coloring seems to be pretty pricey in our local grocery stores, though - $4 or $5 for one of those little boxes with the 4 colors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What other choices do I have? How can add color to things without expensive food coloring?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2936" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:33:06.653" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:33:06.653" Title="Alternatives to using food coloring for kids activities" Tags="|activities|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4889" CreationDate="2012-07-09T21:41:23.740" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The National Parks have a &quot;Junior Ranger Badge&quot; that can include picking up trash around the park and completing a few activities for your kids to earn.  It is a great program (doesn't always include clean up, but it can if you want it to).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if Second Harvest is in Washington, but if it is you might be able to encourage your child's teacher to involve the whole class.  You go and harvest foods from farms where the machines have already gleaned the field and you and the kids get the remaining food missed by the machines.  That food then goes to a soup kitchen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also ask at your local scouting office for information about programs they recommend to their leaders.  Or go to your local 4-H extension office and ask the same question there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T21:41:23.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15" CreationDate="2012-07-09T22:14:36.530" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would simply like to recommend a book that is fabulous for your situation.  It provides encouragement, ideas, and a list of additional resources for the particulars of trying to raise a child to be multilingual.  It is especially suited for families that have a &quot;mother tongue&quot; different from the location in which they live.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=Wi_SaaBgMmEC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PR7&amp;amp;dq=The%20Bilingual%20Edge&amp;amp;ots=zK400ecpbf&amp;amp;sig=Vmcpgy7cEz9yczhORqK2urMPBa8#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=The%20Bilingual%20Edge&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Bilingual Edge&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T22:14:36.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5537" CreationDate="2012-07-09T22:26:10.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know where you can find food coloring in bulk, but a good replacement for food coloring in almost any craft that calls for it, is liquid watercolor.  The extra advantage is you have more color options this way.  Here is a link to a discount supply company that sells liquid watercolors.  I have never seen them on a store shelf, but they can be ordered through this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.discountschoolsupply.com/product/productdetail.aspx?product=16821&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt;.  Or go to discountschoolsupply.com and do a search for &quot;liquid watercolor&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T22:26:10.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4592" CreationDate="2012-07-09T22:47:13.700" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former preschool teacher I'd like first to point out that toddlers are known for having little to no attention span ADHD or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a teacher that spent time in a specialized classroom with middle school students where a majority of my students had severe ADHD in addition to other learning/behavioral disabilities, the first and most important things are those you mention in your question, and just spending quality and positive time together which builds his confidence and self-esteem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, regular meditation can help improve focus but I have no idea how to get a toddler to meditate.  You can also check out children's yoga programs as the physical activity combined with stretching can be a good decompressor between activities that require more focus and/or sitting relatively still for longer periods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, more and more research is showing that ADHD isn't really a lack of attention as much as it is attention on too many things at once.  They can often actually look like they are not paying attention at all and still do BETTER on information retention after a learning activity than their non-ADHD peers if they are using a few techniques that allow for smaller movements that are not distracting to others around them.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/05/teaching-wiggle-worms.html#!/2012/05/teaching-wiggle-worms.html&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; is really for school aged children, but might be useful to you anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Activities that reduce stress can also help relax children so they are more likely to focus.  Although these are not activities that help &quot;fix&quot; or &quot;improve&quot; attention spans or focus long term, &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/07/sensory-activities-for-your-toddler.html#!/2012/07/sensory-activities-for-your-toddler.html&quot;&gt;sensory activities&lt;/a&gt; can be soothing and help them to get a breather from distractions to prepare them for a period when they will need to focus a little more.&#xA;Sensory Activities also help with a number of other skills like stress management and muscular control.  These are probably the closest activities to what you are looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can also help them all through their preschool and school years to have a &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/05/make-your-own-fidgets.html#!/2012/05/make-your-own-fidgets.html&quot;&gt;fidget&lt;/a&gt;&quot; to use to focus their energy into a small, non-distracting fidget they can use while listening to something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, aside from the things you mention as &quot;general&quot; I will give you a couple of additional environmental factors that can help reduce stimulous factors that can be disruptive to attention span that you didn't mention.  Earthy but light pinks, greens and blues as the main colors on walls are helpful to increase attention spans for those people in the environment.  There are special lightbulbs that can also help with this (just the right range of wavelengths and no buzzing - I'm really sorry I forget what they are, but you could probably ask on the Bridges Academy (California) page because they use them) and minimize clutter.  Make sure your kid's bedrooms have only a few pieces of artwork and at least one wall that is not &quot;decorated&quot; by anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you'll find this helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-10-30T04:10:21.247" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T04:10:21.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2012-07-09T23:06:53.773" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please get in touch with the Association for the Education of the Gifted and Underserved Student.  They will have all sorts of wonderful information for you.  The traditional options offered by most schools and teachers in the US are NOT the best thing for gifted kids.  There are a number of great programs out there but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aegus1.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AEGUS&lt;/a&gt; can help you weed through the Chaff and find the proverbial &quot;wheat&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-09T23:06:53.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4813" CreationDate="2012-07-10T02:03:33.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do a photographic scavenger hunt, traveling journal, and an upside down hike (make sure to take a magnifying lens).  All of these activities are outlined on my website for details about &quot;how to&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also make &quot;Hobo Stew&quot; (In the morning get a fire roaring and wrap potatoes in foil.  Peel the foil open a little and slit open the potato.  Now, allow your kids to add from a selction of pre-chopped veggies into the middle of the potato add canned beef stew to each and seal back up.  Reduce the fire and place the foil packets into the hot coals.  Allow to roast and eat.), and roast hot dogs and marshmallows (just teach them fire safety first)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First learn about staying away from poison ivy, nettles and other &quot;dangerous plants&quot; in the area where you will be and then do a leaf or flower collection with a plant press.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wake up for the &quot;Morning Chorus&quot;.  Wake up before sunrise and hike to a field or meadow away from other campers.  Sit and get cozy (bring blankets) and sit very still and quiet as the sun rises.  If you are quiet enough you'll get to hear the cacaphony of all the birds calling out their territories to each-other.  You'll see lots of the birds too so bring along a peterson's field guide to birds for your area as well as the blankets and water to drink.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you'll be at a national park look up their &quot;Junior Ranger Program&quot; and they will have a packet of activities related to the specific park for your kids to choose amongst.  When they have completed a certain number they can show what they've done to a ranger adn get a patch.  It is a pretty cool program and most of the parks I've been to have pretty good activities with a range of levels so there is always something age-appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Volunteer.  Perhaps there is an invasive plant species that needs eradicating and you can spend part of a day helping with a group working in an area particularly effected.  Or perhaps they need a clean up crew and will give you tools to safely gather a bag of trash at your location.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have FUN&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T02:03:33.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2012-07-10T02:37:32.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question only asks about nouns - &quot;things&quot; to name, but verbs, adjectives, whole other categories of words exist your child will need to know too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play games.  Hide things and use directional words to direct your child to the hidden object.  Then, let them hide something and help you &quot;find it&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play games like &quot;down by the bay&quot; where you have to come up with sets of words that rhyme to make it funny.  There are tons of &quot;games&quot; you can play with words that encourage rhyme like this.  Do this in the car or while waiting for an appointment.  Do it often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;List all the words you can think of that start with a favorite sound.  A great way to get this started, is teach your child the first sound in his/her name.  Then say what else starts with that sound.  Offer a few examples and then brainstorm together.  Do this when standing in line at the grocery, at the bank, wherever.  Point is, do it often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play Eye Spy and describe things to teach an adjective vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do sensory activities to use additional descriptors.  What does the Gak feel like?  is it slimy, smooth, rough. . .?  (for some examples of sensory activities you can access some on pinchxeverything.blogspot.com or at almost any site for preschool teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do lots of sorting and classifying.  Find a bunch of old buttons and &quot;sort them&quot; together.  Let your child describe why each button goes in the pile he has chosen.  Are you sorting by color, shape, or something else?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage your child to tell you stories about the pictures he/she draws.  Ask so do you mean? and then use synonyms for at least one or two words occasionally during the sharing of this story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As some one else said, READ READ REAd and then READ some more.  Read the same books over and over again.  Your child doesn't have to  actually do the reading - its pretty early to learn to read, but you can read together.  Choose books with refrains and encourage your child to say the refrain with you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spend time together and use &quot;big words&quot; alongside synonyms you know he already understands.  Avoid baby language.  Talk and then listen (even if he makes little sense, listen and paraphrase what you do understand).  The, listen and then talk some more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cook together.  Let him do the mixing (and maybe even egg breaking), he can probably slice bananas with a butter knife when needed.  Talk about what you are doing as you do it.  Your child will learn all sorts of nouns and verbs from this activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go on nature walks.  Describe everything from how the weather is and how the air feels to the way the ants move along the trail.  Go slow and move at his pace, stopping to look at things he wants to inspect more fully.  Ask lots of questions about what he is experiencing, seeing, feeling. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fill his world with poetry - nursery rhymes, great children's books and song.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-20T00:43:12.217" LastActivityDate="2013-01-20T00:43:12.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1026" CreationDate="2012-07-10T02:45:40.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can write a letter to an administrator asking to remove your child from a particular unit of study and see if that can happen if you feel just begin open and having open conversations with your child about it isn't enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I would be extremely cautious before taking such an extreme route because such a choice will:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Single your child out in a way he/she won't really be able to explain&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wind up labeling you as the &quot;fanatic&quot; which will make it harder to have good conversations with the teacher because it builds walls and &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most importantly, shelters your child from learning how to think through and deal with differences - an incredibly important social skill and skill for independence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would personally go with philosodad and Tim h.  but thought this option should be included because it does exist in most public schools at least and offers the school feedback as to how strongly you feel if you choose to use this option.  It is a middle of the road option to pulling your child out of the school and switching schools because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T02:45:40.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="75" CreationDate="2012-07-10T02:50:07.550" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One other thing.  It is possible sometimes to make a game out of certain things, like spelling tennis.  Things like, can she spell a word before having to catch a ball you bounce pass to her?  Sometimes this kind of activity can shake it up a little and remove some of the stress associated with homework and let her know that learning can be fun and doesn't alwyas have to be about pushing pencils on paper.  Speak with her teacher about what the reasons might be and see what you can find out and develop together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T02:50:07.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3520" CreationDate="2012-07-10T03:02:42.983" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only possible reason for an increase in attentiveness I can think of that you can really do anything about immediately and realistically is if she is feeling anxious about something and thoughts about it are distracting her.  This is something you could help her with by asking her about it gently and supportively.  and then talking through whatever it is and problem solving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the problem is that she is bored, you will need to speak with her about how to pretend she isn't bored for now and then look into options like gifted programs, other schools or homeschooling.  Look up AEGUS if you do determine she is gifted (Association for the Education of the Gifted and Underserved Student).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is a problem with ADD or some other difference that makes her unable to focus, she cannot help her behavior and will need to learn some alternative techniques to help her learn in slightly different ways.  See if the teacher will allow her to use fidgets or sit in the back of the room where she can wiggle and move without disrupting others because the movement might actually help her learn.  See &quot;Teaching Wiggle Worms&quot; on Pinchxeverything.blogspot.com  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T03:02:42.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1672" CreationDate="2012-07-10T03:11:08.200" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Type in &quot;activities for toddlers&quot; and &quot;preschool crafts&quot; to a search bar and you will find a million things to do online.  Also try &quot;sensory activities&quot; because these are pretty engaging for some reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a wonderful book called, &quot;the busy book&quot; that will help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give them water to splash in, dough to knead, cook with them and let them do the measuring and stirring (with your close supervision and help of course).  Have them chop and mash bananas. .  .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read stories together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Little people toys are especially popular with two's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Act out favorite fairy tales by dressing up or using puppets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seat them somewhere and give each a pair of children's safety scissors and a piece of paper and just let them snip away.  Yes, you'll have to sweep up (or grandma) but used once/month or so it'll probably keep them busy for awhile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are more ideas on my website.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T03:11:08.200" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-07-10T03:11:08.200" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="358" CreationDate="2012-07-10T03:49:16.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Baby Book&lt;/em&gt; By Dr. Sears has an entire chapter addressing this very subject.  He is pro-cosleeping and introduces a number of ways to &quot;wean&quot; from the process depending on your particular needs. His suggestion that he favors was way too old for my tastes, but since he offered mid-range suggestions as well, my husband and I found a comfortable middle ground and how to apply it pretty easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest reading the book yourself (I've given my copy to my sister long ago and don't remember details). However, I do remember that at the most extreme, &lt;strong&gt;he suggested letting them sleep with you until they WANT their own bed&lt;/strong&gt;. The sign the child is ready is that the child requests having his own bed. Even Dr. Sears admitted for many this might mean seven or eight years with kid in-bed and that for many, this may just be too much (my husband and I were definitely in that group).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our own daughter, basically what we did was to continue to put her to bed the way other families do (because she went to bed before us anyway) in her bed once she had one (around 18 months-2 years). If she came and joined us in the middle of the night that was okay and it reassured her to know this was an option (and she still does at six some of the time but less and less often).  For us, this gradual option worked really well. As she became more ready to truly sleep through the night on her own - she did so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had always put her to bed sooner than we went to sleep anyway, but she was pretty used to having us with her until she was asleep. To help her adjust we slowly moved away physically during &quot;fall asleep time.&quot; We introduced age-appropriate calming things like back-rubbing (just a gentle touch in a circular motion, not massage), lullabies, bathtime, bedtime routine with teeth brushing and all in consistent order... stories and such as she gained in age to help put her in a sleepy mood.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a baby, she fell asleep being held. In order to teach her to fall asleep more independently, we had to start by sitting in the room while she fell asleep.  For a long time, we had the rocker I used for nursing her in her bedroom so she could fall asleep with one of us in the room, but we could sit in the rocker and read to ourselves or use the laptop to still be getting something done quietly while she fell asleep. Then we would work on something in the room next door and check on her every ten minutes or so (which usually meant we only had to check on her once or twice).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Sears has suggestions like, put a mattress at the foot of your bed for a while so they are in the same room and feel they are with you, but you have more space and all kinds of additional ideas we didn't use but might work great for you. I'm sorry I don't remember more of the specifics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-14T15:03:41.400" LastActivityDate="2018-07-14T15:03:41.400" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5550" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5551" CreationDate="2012-07-10T09:15:35.167" Score="4" ViewCount="262" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 22-month-old has recently taken to assigning ownership to everything. She'll grab whatever she sees laying around - books, clothing, whatever - declare whose it is (&quot;it's daddy's&quot;, &quot;it's mommy's&quot;), and then insist on giving it to that person (even if the person is not present). She doesn't seem to understand that the owner of an object may want the object to stay where it is. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is out of curiosity and not worry, but do most kids go through a phase like this? I'm trying to figure out if it's widespread, or if it's just her nature (there's a pretty strong &quot;meticulous&quot; streak in my family).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T12:17:04.437" Title="Toddler assigns ownership to everything" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5550" CreationDate="2012-07-10T12:17:04.437" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;All three of mine did this, and I think all the kids I have babysat for did as well. It is a useful development milestone which seems to fulfill some of the learning points around giving up an item you hold, which can be very difficult for a toddler at first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage this behavior, and steer it constructively: we incorporated it into helping with tidying up, and being enthusiastic when they correctly identified who owned an item and where it should go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T12:17:04.437" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1430" CreationDate="2012-07-10T17:45:31.060" Score="10" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is taking the diaper off because he is uncomfortable.  BIG SIGNAL that is time to potty train and a really good reason not to force him to stay in it.  How well do you sleep if you are uncomfortable anyway?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask him to sit on the potty about 15 minutes before naptime.  While he sits, read stories, play clapping games, sing songs etc so that it is fun to be there.  He may not poop, but he might and he'll most likely at least pee if he is relaxed enough.  Don't sit so long waiting that he becomes uncomfortable, but at least give him the chance to &quot;get it out&quot; before nap so that he isn't laying in a mess during nap.  This may help temendously with potty training as well anyway.  Leave enough time to still do your regular nap time routine after the potty part.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put him in pull ups (during naps only, regular pants the rest of the time so he can still feel the wetness) and let him get up during nap to use the potty if he &quot;feels the need&quot;.  Let him know he should come get you.  That way you can help clean him up without a huge mess if he is waking up dirty.  I know it means an interruption to nap and that sucks, but if he gets the hang of potty training relatively quickly this will only go on for a month or two.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You may be concerned he will begin to use this as an excuse not to take a nap and the reality is that MIGHT happen, if it does you can cross that bridge when it comes.  Even if you waited, this issue will arise eventually anyway. In a classroom of 20 &quot;2's&quot; we always had 1 or 2 kids for whom this became an issue (true in the threes as well).  It is just one of the realities of toddlerhood some parents must find a way to deal with.  Once he is fully potty trained you can say things like, &quot;you should only need to get up to go potty once&quot;. . .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Expect him to sleep later and alter his sleep schedule if needed to help avoid bowel movements during sleep.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a tough transition that affects sleep, your entire schedule really and means messes and accidents for awhile, but think about this: once you bite the bullet and make the transition, you won't be buying diapers anymore, (although you'll still be lugging around a big bag of kid stuff), having to find places to stop and change the diaper will be in the past and although you will still need to find potties, you can plan ahead by asking him to go when you ARE near a potty.  This will reduce accidents, rushing around in a panic, and is an introduction to teaching him about &quot;planning ahead&quot; for other things in life too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the actual potty training - there are LOTS of ways to go about doing it.  You are even lucky enough to have him telling you he wants to potty train when it is summer and he can safely and comfortably play naked at times (immediate understanding of the &quot;prefeeling&quot; before peeing and the other one, because he will see it happen)  A quick search will give you lots of options for techniques and I believe there are a number of questions about potty training right here on stack exchange.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally think the best way is to get them comfortable with the toilet (its sounds, sitting on one, washing hands after . . .) by spending time in the bathroom together singing songs, play hand clapping games, I used to sing to my 2's class, &quot;tinkle tinkle in the potty, get that stuff out of your body, it is so much better for you, to use the potty for your pee pee and your poo, tinkle tinkle in the potty. . . It always got a laugh.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest you spend this time in the bathroom (and out) reading books about going potty.  There is a book with Elmo with buttons (that make noises like the toilet flushing and water running in the sink) that talks about buying &quot;big boy pants&quot; and the whole process as well as an episode that can be purchased all about potty training where &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000G0O5F0&quot;&gt;Elmo&lt;/a&gt; helps (I think it's baby bear's little sister if I remember correctly) with her potty training and we meet Elmo's dad etc.  There is even a song called &quot;accidents happen&quot;.  There is also &quot;no more diapers for ducky&quot; (another book) and a set of books that is something like &quot;the potty book for boys&quot; and &quot;the potty book for girls&quot; that are all really good (plus numerous others)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any time he goes poop in the diaper, have him watch you roll the poop off the diaper and into the toilet while you talk about how poop and pee belong in the toilet and then flush it together.  I am not a fan of &quot;rewards&quot; or &quot;punishments&quot; there are natural rewards like, not feeling &quot;icky&quot; and the reward of the independence that comes with being diaper free and becoming a &quot;big boy&quot; that are likely to work with your kid (simply talk about them), but rewards work really well for lots of kids too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-10T17:59:20.003" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T17:59:20.003" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3543" CreationDate="2012-07-10T19:09:08.953" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is a stage of language development, the understanding of the concept of adding &quot;not&quot; to a phrase.  Several times, with my toddler, I think instead of defience or anything due to positive/negative reinforcement, he simply doesn't understand the &quot;don't&quot; command.  He hears, &quot;Don't touch the knife,&quot; and understands I want him to do something with the knife, but not necessarily what I want him to do, so he grabs it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One command that I have tried to change when I use it is about throwing food on the floor.  I used to say, &quot;Don't throw your food on the floor.&quot;  That doesn't communicate very clearly to a toddler and doesn't tell him what to do with the food.  Now I try to remember to say, &quot;Put the food in your mouth,&quot;  or &quot;Put the food to the side if you don't want it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My reasoning for why this is may be wrong, but I work at a daycare for toddlers, and have seen with them and with my own that telling them specifically what to do instead of what not to do works much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T19:09:08.953" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5555" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5558" CreationDate="2012-07-10T19:11:01.987" Score="4" ViewCount="767" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than always trying to change the child, what are some techniques for ways to help a &quot;wiggly kid&quot; function in the classroom better without it just being about &quot;sitting still&quot;?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The methods I used with my middle school kids were to allow them to stand if they wanted to, offer fidgets, allow for noise canceling headphones when independent work was being completed, offer up hands on and active lessons (more labs than lectures - nature hikes, field trips as often as possible, dramatic presentations to illustrate a process. . . etc.) I also made sure to include a wide variety of assessment styles (presentations, writing of papers, quizzes and tests, they could write children's books or a song. . . etc. whenever possible)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They generally worked well.  Do these same things work as well in elementary school?  What have you done that I don't mention here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-13T22:30:47.687" LastActivityDate="2015-02-13T19:41:33.467" Title="What do you do to help an ADHD kid get along in the classroom or with school work better?" Tags="|middle-childhood|adhd|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5555" CreationDate="2012-07-10T19:25:26.943" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've worked at a school for kids with learning differences (mostly ADHD), and here are some suggestions that we've used:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to have the child seated as close to the teacher as possible.&#xA;It makes paying attention come more naturally, and makes is easier&#xA;for the teacher to refocus the child without singling them out. A&#xA;simple tap on the desk or eye contact from the teacher can refocus&#xA;the kid without even saying their name.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give the kid a fidget device, hopefully with the teacher's&#xA;approval, to hold in class.  A stress ball type thing works well. &#xA;Kid can fidget quietly without distracting others.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach the kid what to do instead of what not to do.  For&#xA;example, taking notes is a great way to focus on what is going on&#xA;and leaves less free brain time available for distraction.  This may&#xA;be a little advanced for middle school.  Other things TO do in class&#xA;include looking directly at the teacher, trying to guess what facts&#xA;will be on a quiz, listen for the most interesting fact in the class&#xA;lecture to remember and tell to parents at dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach child ways to release energy while seated.  Flex and relax&#xA;fists, thigh muscles, abs, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage the teacher to use all types of learning in lessons,&#xA;visual, oral, kinesthetic... This may be completely beyond your&#xA;control, but you might could help encourage the school and teachers&#xA;to expand their teaching methods.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-13T19:41:33.467" LastActivityDate="2015-02-13T19:41:33.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1718" CreationDate="2012-07-10T19:35:01.710" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try to let your son know that the neighbor is not an option.  Maybe the problem isn't that he dislikes or is unhappy with the nanny.  Maybe he just really likes the neighbor and wants to play with him.  Once the kid knows that running off this nanny isn't going to get him the neighbor that he wants, just another nanny, maybe he will settle down and be happy with what he has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this is a pretty hard concept to communicate to a toddler, but I think it would be worth testing to see whether he dislikes the nanny or just has his mind set on the neighbor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2427" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T19:35:01.710" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5555" CreationDate="2012-07-10T19:35:06.730" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think when it comes to kids with ADD/ADHD, it's important to teach them coping mechanisms.  I've known kids who memorized baseball stats because they were REALLY into baseball and this was able to help them focus.  I've taught students who would doodle/draw to help keep them focused, but they were still listening and paying attention.  Generally, a good coping mechanism is something that they are interested in that keeps their attention without disrupting others.  It might be working math problems, doing crosswords, Suddoku.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it's important that they just have a task to do.  So, if they finish their work and are just waiting around until the next lesson or for other students to finish so the teacher can move on, allow them to run a note to another teacher/collect finished papers/etc.  Something that allows them to expend a little energy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've had limited success with letting some students do their work standing up.  It depends on the student, but towards the end of the day when all the sitting still is getting to them sometimes just being able to stand up and stretch their legs is helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal, of course, is to have a good coping mechanism in place so that by the time your student reaches high school, he/she can manage it on his/her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T19:35:06.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5559" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-07-10T19:36:41.503" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Questions that are tagged with ADHD should be about coping strategies for parenting and educating these children, and the special situations that occur because of their diagnosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Based on the types of symptoms, three kinds (presentations) of ADHD&#xA;  can occur:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Combined Presentation: if enough symptoms of both criteria inattention&#xA;  and hyperactivity-impulsivity were present&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Predominantly Inattentive Presentation: if enough symptoms of&#xA;  inattention, but not hyperactivity-impulsivity, were present&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Presentation: if enough symptoms&#xA;  of hyperactivity-impulsivity but not inattention were present&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Because symptoms can change over time, the presentation may change&#xA;  over time as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Quoted from DSM-5, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many children diagnosed with ADHD have a very difficult time sitting still or participating in the average classroom setting without incurring behavioral consequences for movements over which they have little control.  They also may have a difficult time focusing well enough to complete common tasks given at school.  For these reasons, children with ADHD are often medicated to help decrease incidence of overactivity and increase focus and attention span.  About 3-5% of today's children have been diagnosed with this disorder making it the most common behavioral disorder affecting children today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the most severe cases ADHD is often coupled with other disorders such as Tourette's or Bi-polar disorders.  ADHD sypmptoms can overlap with these disorders as well as depression, anxiety and others so diagnosis must be made carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a more detailed list of symptoms, synopses of types of treatments, and listing of tests that are administered to determine a diagnosis of ADHD or not, check out these more in-depth links.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002518/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;PubMed Health&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/complete-index.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;National Institute of Mental Health&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.adhd.com/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ADHD.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-24T19:01:09.623" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T19:01:09.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5560" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-07-10T19:36:41.503" Score="0" Body="ADHD is an acronym for Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. People with ADD and ADHD struggle to maintain focus on certain tasks as they have a more difficult time &quot;tuning out&quot; extra stimuli. They can become overly attentive to distractions, and/or be impulsive and over-active.  Many children are &quot;wiggly&quot; and inattentive, but these children have these conditions outside the normal range for that child's particular age." OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-24T19:01:09.623" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T19:01:09.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2012-07-10T19:47:42.543" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are three common strategies:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discipline&lt;/strong&gt; aka 'stick'.&#xA;Tell her off, complain, whine. Whatever - she's unlikely to listen. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Incentivise&lt;/strong&gt; aka 'carrot'&#xA;Can you discuss some kind of reward scheme for getting better grades? E.g. Improving a grade in any subject = trip to movies. Getting an A = trip to theme park. Getting all A's = driving lessons + (cheap, used) car. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Communicate&lt;/strong&gt; (and thus educate)&#xA;Does she realise that when she's finished school/college she needs to leave home and set up on her own? How will she achieve that? Have you discussed costs of living, options for college/university, a career? How about eliciting a single goal from her and working backwards in time to determine what she needs to do to achieve that? Examples and real-world data will help here.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T19:47:42.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5555" CreationDate="2012-07-10T20:36:33.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The solution is to develop a curriculum that's less about sitting still and reading quietly and more about hands-on discovery and invention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, that can be tricky, depending on where you live. In major cities, you may have luck finding schools that cater more to that type of learning style. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While not specifically about ADD, this article in SLATE hit a nerve with me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/future_tense/2012/06/maker_faire_and_science_education_american_kids_should_be_building_rockets_and_robots_not_taking_standardized_tests_.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/future_tense/2012/06/maker_faire_and_science_education_american_kids_should_be_building_rockets_and_robots_not_taking_standardized_tests_.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, ADHD isn't &lt;em&gt;necessarily&lt;/em&gt; an issue about the child as much as it is an issue of a mismatch of the child's learning style to the school's overall teaching style. Unfortunately, due to logistics (and, at times, politics), most of our schools are given the task of education the majority sometimes at the expense of the minority. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2012-07-10T20:58:12.550" LastActivityDate="2012-07-10T20:58:12.550" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5564" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5565" CreationDate="2012-07-10T22:42:32.273" Score="13" ViewCount="20652" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got our son a balance bike (small wooden pedal-less bike) for his third birthday. These seem to be the modern way of teaching bike riding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment he sometimes will 'walk' the bike for few feet, but generally show no interest in using the bike.  He's not super interested in his tricycle either. Maybe he too young (36 months)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the steps in teaching riding using a balance bike? Where should we start?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="744" LastActivityDate="2018-09-29T21:13:01.457" Title="How to teach bike riding with a balance bike" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5564" CreationDate="2012-07-11T01:14:55.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;36 months might be a little young, my son didn't really start to get it until he was almost 3. The steps we used with my son were pretty simple: I just went for walks with him, with him using or pushing the balance bike. I showed him how to ride (you can show him videos of other kids his age using them as well) and encouraged him to ride. It took a while, but at some point it clicked for him that he could ride the bike about as fast as I walk, and it was easier for him to keep up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ended up carrying the bike a lot, but I had him walk it as much as I could when he didn't want to ride. The constant presence of the bike as an option helped a lot, as did the regularity of practice. It took a while, so don't give up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that is pretty hard for them early is figuring out that they need to keep their weight on the seat for the bike to work! I'm working on that with my daughter, who is three and still doesn't quite have the balance bike figured out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T01:14:55.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5564" CreationDate="2012-07-11T03:12:15.630" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started this process a few days ago with a 28-month-old and a bike with the pedals removed. She was ecstatic to get a bike, and she constantly asks to go outside for bike rides, but she quickly wants off after a few dozen feet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is normal. It takes practice and requires motivation. You can't force it, but there are things you can do to help. For example, she loves to hold her feet up next to the front hub and get pushed &quot;really fast&quot; (as she describes it). If she asks to go really fast, I'll tell her that I'll push her if she makes it to the corner by herself. As another example, she sees me ride my bike frequently, and I let her &quot;help&quot; me pump up tires and perform small repairs. So she loves the idea of bikes even though bike riding is still a work in progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, though, each kid needs to go at their own pace. If it helps, try to think about how challenging and uncomfortable it must be. Keep the bike around as an option, and provide some encouragement, but there's no rush. It's supposed to be fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2385" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T03:12:15.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4260" CreationDate="2012-07-11T03:18:21.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;(I know this was answered and accepted, but I will leave another to help people in the future)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a crybaby growing up. I didn't really think about it until I was in 6th grade and my teacher commented on it. At first I was mad that she said it, coming from an adult, but I think it helped more than my parents saying something or the other kids teasing me about it. After that I really payed attention to the times that I reacted to bad situations and saw that I was being pretty lame and just stopped on my own. It got to the point where it is really hard to get me upset about much anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think that there is much that you can do other than letting them know why you feel it is a concern. Something that didn't help was that my mom was always trying to please everyone and my dad was/is still a crybaby and his mom was the same as mine so it was just perpetuated. Anytime I cried, she would rush in to try and sole the problem. This just showed me that anytime I cried I would be taken care of, problems fixed. With my son I did the same thing and am kind of upset with myself because he is now in the same situation, 6th grade and cries when things don't go exactly his way. With my 7 year old daughter it was different. I lost custody and her mom started to raise them and she doesn't deal with kids well at all so she didn't rush to save her. When I had them I decided I would try something different. I made sure she was OK (no broken bones) but other than that I didn't rush to her aid and told her to go to another room to cry and that once she was done crying she could come and tell me what happened. She is not a crybaby. Not sure if it was the technique or different personalities, but it worked for her, so far...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T03:18:21.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5568" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-11T04:21:57.253" Score="6" ViewCount="46194" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can I tell if an infant is developmentally advanced?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, in a 10 month old baby boy: he likes to play the piano and drum; he is always making sounds or noises with his mouth or toys all the time'  he looks concentrated when listening to music; he moves his arms as if he's dancing without any reason; if he wants something he will pursue it relentlessly; he hs a tantrum just for few seconds if he can't touch my iPad/iPhone or the TV remote control; he throws toys on the table/floor just to watch how they fall and sound; and he will bother us until we share our food with him. He shows signs of separation anxiety.  He is already starting to walk independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there certain actions at certain ages that indicate that an infant is developmentally advanced?  If so, does early acquisition of skills in infancy have any bearing on gifting later in life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2944" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-07-23T12:24:11.840" LastActivityDate="2016-01-29T04:09:58.480" Title="How can one tell if an infant is developmentally advanced?" Tags="|infant|development|gifted|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5564" CreationDate="2012-07-11T08:01:09.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter was (still is, actually) slow learning it, too. Compared to other children, I think the difference is that we take her to her daycare by car, while others, who live closer by, have their children go by bike, and accompany them by foot.&#xA;I suppose they needed a lot of patience (and a lot of carrying the bike, too), but in the end constant practice paid off. Now their problem is to keep up with the children by foot ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice: Try to find a part of the daily routine that your son can do by bike. If he does not go to a daycare, that could be going shopping, or to the playground. And as was mentioned by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5566/1070&quot;&gt;amcnabb&lt;/a&gt;, do not try to force it. Be patient, and he will learn it eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T08:01:09.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2012-07-11T10:05:36.137" Score="4" Body="&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;I have a 16 years old daughter, whenever she have free time she wastes it on things&#xA;that I think are futile like Facebook, Tumblr, etc&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;First off&lt;/strong&gt;, I personally think you would find that in this day and age, that is not an uncommon occurance.  I'm sure there are plenty of teenagers out there now that are hooked in FB, twitter and any social media site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2nd&lt;/strong&gt;.  Whos to say those things are futile?  Whos to say that in 3 years they could be the biggest thing out there (if they aren't already of course) and that knowledge in their industry is what you have to have to get anywhere in life.  What about the contacts she might make though those sites might give her leads to great things in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Third&lt;/strong&gt;.  I honestly believe although you can guide your child in a positive and constructive direction, trying to force them down a route will only have the adverse effect.  She has to wake up one day and realise that she wants to do something with her life and what that something is without &lt;em&gt;realising&lt;/em&gt; she's been pushed in one direction in the other.  Basically it has to be her decision for it to be a good decision for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4th&lt;/strong&gt;.  We are all different.  Some of us don't like maths or the sciences.  Some of us don't like the arts.  And some of us don't like sports.  Don't push her down what kind of ciriculum you like.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So to my point.&lt;/strong&gt;  I think this must be one of the hardest stages for a parent and potentially one of the biggest for a childs life.  It can shape who they are to become as a person and the road their life can start down from.  I think the best thing you can do is to listen and observe their behaviour.  Find out what they are good at and more importantly what they are interested in outside of FB etc  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone will have something, some are just better at hiding it than others.  Once you find that thing, slowly coax it and show interest.  Try and coerce it into being a major focus in her life.  Show interest in it, but not too much as it's her thing not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And remember.  What you consider worthwhile might not be worthwhile to her.  And if that's not the case no amount of forcing or manipulating will do any good.  She will move on from the FB and twitter phase.  Be there for her when she does.  She won't thank you, but she will know!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now take a step back and think back to your 16year old years.  Are you the same person you were then that you were at 21, that you are today?  The core values are probably the same, but your interests are probably different.  Her's will change too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;I have a 16 years old daughter, whenever she have free time she wastes it on things &#xA;that I think are futile like Facebook, Tumblr, etc.  &#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just thank your lucky stars she is not on &lt;strong&gt;drugs&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;alcoholic&lt;/strong&gt; or &lt;strong&gt;pregnant&lt;/strong&gt;.  Now that is defintely way too common in our young of today and something a parent should be truely concerned with!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2455" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T10:05:36.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3557" CreationDate="2012-07-11T11:22:25.587" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are curious. This behavior is not necessarily &quot;mimicking some behaviour that he probably shouldn't be witnessing&quot;. Humans are geared for sex, our brains are geared to think about sex and we have strong instincts toward sex. And children are sexual beings too. They are obviously not mature enough for it, but they do have curiosity towards it. It is normal for them to play this way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you should monitor this behavior and make sure nothing inappropriate is happening. But there's probably nothing abnormal with your child because you found him/her role playing sexual behavior. She/He is not a sex fiend or defective in any way. She/He are not necessarily being exposed to inappropriate sexual imagery or witnessing sexual acts. They are just instinctively using their bodies with a natural childish curiosity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect this boy have been exposed to scenes he shouldn't be, you should talk to authorities. But the fact that he roleplays  sexual behavior doesn't necessarily mean that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2900" LastEditorUserId="2900" LastEditDate="2012-07-11T11:27:32.480" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T11:27:32.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5568" CreationDate="2012-07-11T14:57:28.630" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Articles/early_childhood/e10.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This paper&lt;/a&gt; indicates that it is possible that children can show giftedness shortly after birth by:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;early&#xA;alertness, response to caretakers, advanced motor control, early development of intentionality or&#xA;unusual attention span&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that same paper is a summary of a study where parents of gifted children were asked to retroactively identify early signs of giftedness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most frequent signs&#xA;of giftedness found in this study included long attention span, excellent memory, early and&#xA;extensive vocabulary development, curiosity, early reading ability, rapidity of learning, and the&#xA;ability to generalize concepts. Other studies have revealed additional characteristics:&#xA;imaginary companions, high activity levels, less need for sleep, ambidexterity, unusual&#xA;responsiveness to caretakers, allergies, sense of humor, sensitivity, perfectionism, concern with&#xA;morality and justice, preference for older playmates, and fascination with books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most interesting thing about the paper is the &amp;quot;maybe, but maybe not&amp;quot; aspect of most of the signs listed.  Maybe your extremely verbal infant is gifted, but maybe your silent infant is like Einstein and will start speaking in complete sentances at age 4.  Maybe your early walker is gifted, but maybe he or she is simply one of the non-gifted early walkers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10162.aspx#early%20signs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is another summary of a study on gifted children that retroactively looked at the signs of giftedness they displayed as infants and toddlers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;94% were very alert as infants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;94% had a long attention span as an infant or toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;91% showed early language development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;60% showed early motor skill development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;48.9% were ambidextrous at some period of their development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;37% had imaginary playmates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mean age at which these children spoke their first word was 9 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mean age at which the children sight-read an easy reader was before 4. (Rogers &amp;amp; Silverman, 1997)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www3.bc.sympatico.ca/giftedcanada/ynggift.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; has a long list of the signs of a young gifted child, although many are applicable to the toddler and preschool stages rather than the infant stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The specific 10 month old described has some signs of giftedness, and it certainly would not hurt to expose him to as many challenges as he is interested in.  However it appears that the signs of giftedness expressed in infancy are at best inconclusive guides, and signs in the toddler and preschool years are more definitive.  Even if any given infant does not meet some external criteria for &amp;quot;gifted,&amp;quot; that child should be given a chance to learn and grow to the best of his or her abilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T14:57:28.630" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3755" CreationDate="2012-07-11T15:00:00.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a little surprised that I don't see more votes for the answer of setting a meeting and politely ASKING the teacher about her reasons.  I would make this as a comment, except I have more to say than will fit and would argue MORE points to back up Ali Habbek's point.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a teacher and parent I understand the value of maintaining a good relationship between these two significant influences on a child's life.  When a parent and teacher work together and in concert, they often find they have similar objectives and they are powerful as a force that benefits the child immensly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the parent would learn something from the teacher about why the skill IS useful (like the reasons pointed out by Erin) or how it helps the child to learn another skill in the next step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, and possibly most beneficially, the teacher may learn something of import about you and your child that helps her to become a better fit for your child.  If the issue is that the alphabetizing is simply too easy and therefore is boring, many teachers are willing (if able) to give alternative work where possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one place Ali is incorrect is in the power the teacher has.  He/she does NOT have a lot of say over the curriculum and a lot of influences converge and interact to impact the little choice and control he/she does hold in the classroom.  You might learn that it is a political issue.  Many states have required objectives at each grade level (alphabetizing is a common one in the primary grades) that the school must address and prove it is addressing to the state periodically in order to maintain its certification as a school.  This would let you know that no matter what school your child attends this would be a focus anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By taking this route respectfully, everyone is gleaning information they may not have otherwise had.  You may find yourself surprised at the validity of the activity or maybe the teacher will see that while valid, the exercises don't work for your individual child.  Maybe you'd even learn the teacher doesn't really like doing it either and you can brainstorm solutions together.  Of course, it is possible that you are totally right and the teacher would be stubborn and nothing would change. In this case, you could take some of the other routes already delineated but is seems like open communication is the most constructive place to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-11T16:39:27.480" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T16:39:27.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4015" CreationDate="2012-07-11T15:03:51.437" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Exactly how should we make certain we receive a sufficient amount of vitamin D? Sunlight is certainly a great source of vitamin D. While you are exposed to sunshine, your entire body generally creates vitamin D. When you are exposed to sunlight, be sure to make use of a decent sun screen lotion in order to avoid burns. Get just as much sun exposure as you can. Why? Your body generally generates vitamin D when we're exposed to the sun's rays. In case you have very little exposure to the sunshine, whether it's as you do the job within the house or even reside somewhere which does not obtain a good deal of sun's rays, you should ensure to consume healthy foods which have been great sources of vitamin D. It is usually in lots of our food items. A number of the food items milk products, natural yogurt, fortified cereal, and also loaf of bread usually are full of vitamin D. Furthermore, it comes by natural means in trout, tuna fish, as well as eggs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you fail to receive a sufficient quantity of vitamin D as a result of modest exposure to the sun or not having ample food items full of vitamin D inside them, you could just take a multi-vitamin. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thevitaminmag.com/health-benefits-of-vitamin-d/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The following links may provide helpful information and resource&lt;/a&gt;s. Multi-vitamins are generally a great way of acquiring a sufficient quantity of vitamins and minerals we might be short of the eating plan. What are the results if you do not receive a sufficient quantity of vitamin D in your eating plan? You'll find 3 well-known bone tissue softening condition which can take place mainly because of not receiving an adequate amount of vitamin D: Rickets, Osteomalacia, and also Osteoporosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2948" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T15:03:51.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3557" CreationDate="2012-07-11T15:10:26.280" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is completely normal, and &lt;strong&gt;it's not sexual for the kids&lt;/strong&gt;. Kids don't know about sex, but they are curious and bodily things fascinate them. Ask any 4-year-old about the difference between boys and girls, and she will immediately tell you about penises and vaginas and boobs, cause as far as kids are concerned, those are the only differences (isn't that lovely?!?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you catch them doing anything that you deem inappropriate (and remember that this is because you know about sex, the sexuality lies in your interpretation of their game), have them put their clothes back on (if they're off), and leave it at that. Don't make a big deal about it, you don't want your daughter feeling like what they did was wrong or dirty, cause that will not make them stop, they will just go to more trouble to hide what they're doing from you. To calm the curiosity a bit, maybe buy a book about the human body and where kids come from (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0811813193&quot;&gt;Mommy laid an egg&lt;/a&gt; is brilliant!), so that you and your girl can talk about these things in a calm, natural way. Some people thinks that 3 is too young to learn about bodies and where babies come from, but the earlier you start the more openly you'll be able to discuss these things with her later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T15:10:26.280" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5568" CreationDate="2012-07-11T15:16:26.740" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Child development is amazing to witness, but the sense of awe doesn't depend on competitiveness. It's natural to be proud of skills that your child develops, but it's unnecessary to compare with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Books and articles on &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_development&quot;&gt;child development&lt;/a&gt; categorize milestones into areas like physical growth, gross motor skills, fine motor skills, language skills, social skills, and cognitive skills. Children develop these skills in their own ways and at different paces. It's perfectly normal for one child to be slightly more advanced in one area and slightly less advanced in another, but the important thing is that they're making steady progress. Your doctor may give you a questionnaire to look out for any problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it helps to realize that at this age, a child doesn't seem very advanced when compared with an adult. We aren't impressed that an adult can climb stairs. :) Once the child is older, they will develop skills that are impressive in an absolute sense, but for now, enjoy the advancements that are amazing relative to where the child was a week ago. Competitive comparison detracts from enjoying the process of child development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2385" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T15:16:26.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5568" CreationDate="2012-07-11T15:25:42.190" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based upon justkt's response, unless your child is doing something &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; advanced as an infant, you're not going to be able to determine if your child is truly &quot;gifted&quot; until he is much older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infant-development/FL00101&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; article on infant development from the Mayo Clinic, things like separation anxiety are an expected development anywhere from 10-12 months.  Other developmental charts like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/baby-development-10-month-old?page=2&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; one point out that 10-month-olds like to mimic their parents which would explain wanting to interact with the TV remote, iPhone, or iPad if he sees you with them, and responding with a slight tantrum if he isn't allowed to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to remember that developmental milestones are a continuum and can vary extensively from child to child.  Just because a child walks at 10 or 11 months doesn't necessarily mean they're gifted (and while it's exciting when your child first starts walking, you quickly realize that they become a lot more work once they start walking.  I walked at 6 1/2 months much to my mother's chagrin.).  While your child might be hitting some milestones early, there are probably some others that he hasn't quite reached yet.  My son said his first words around 9 months old and was speaking in complete sentences well before most kids his age, but he was one of the last kids in his class to learn how to jump.  Go figure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly encourage and challenge your son, but it's probably not necessary to saddle him with the label of &quot;gifted&quot; at this point.  As many people who are gifted (or have been identified as gifted) will tell you, it can be a blessing and a curse and right now your son just needs to make it through his first year as a happy, healthy infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T15:25:42.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3981" CreationDate="2012-07-11T17:01:08.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It looks like you are considering what is now called academic &quot;redshirting&quot;.  As a former preschool teacher and Middle School teacher, I have personally seen quite a lot about Kindergarten readiness, effects of redshirting down the road and spoken about it at length with colleagues.  There are a lot of reasons to delay beginning school, but as with many things we are likely to over think the question as a lot of the research is showing it has less of an impact for MOST kids than most parents think it does.  It is still a decision that should be made with a lot of thought so. . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Traditionally, a child was ready for school when he or she &lt;strong&gt;recognized his/her name in writing&lt;/strong&gt; and could &lt;strong&gt;give his/her parents names&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;could sit&lt;/strong&gt; through circle time or story time that lasts &lt;strong&gt;15 minutes&lt;/strong&gt;, understand the concept of &lt;strong&gt;sharing&lt;/strong&gt;, and &lt;strong&gt;get along most of the time&lt;/strong&gt; with other kids.  Academically, it was encouraged that kids know most of the alphabet, be &lt;strong&gt;able to hold a pen or pencil&lt;/strong&gt; and be able to &lt;strong&gt;roughly use child-sized scissors&lt;/strong&gt;.  It was also expected that she/he be on the road to independence.  In other words, it may be a bit of a struggle, but children were expected to be &lt;strong&gt;able to dress themselves&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;use the potty themselves&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;open&lt;/strong&gt; most of the packages in their &lt;strong&gt;lunch&lt;/strong&gt; without help, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In many schools in my area, it is now recommended, though not required at public schools, that in addition to the above, children &lt;strong&gt;know all of the letters&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;numbers one through ten&lt;/strong&gt;, are &lt;strong&gt;able to write their name&lt;/strong&gt; when they enter kindergarten, and can &lt;strong&gt;recognize and name basic shapes and colors&lt;/strong&gt;.  For safety's sake the child should also &lt;strong&gt;know her/his address and phone number&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Aids for Making the Decision&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;If you are unsure about your child’s readiness, some school systems also offer an assessment. Even if it is not advertised, you should ask about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Preschool teachers often have a pretty good idea of whether children are ready for kindergarten. If your child attends preschool, his or her teacher knows how he acts in the school setting. If he still cries after you drop him at preschool, he might not be ready to get on the bus to kindergarten. Do not hesitate to ask your child’s teacher for her opinion and advice. She might suggest something in-between, like a pre-kindergarten classroom that many public schools have. Also, be sure to visit a kindergarten classroom that your child might attend, talk to the teachers, and observe how the other children behave and interact. Many schools even have a time when you can bring your child with you to visit&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Term Red-Shirting&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is not ready for kindergarten, do not be concerned! So called &quot;academic redshirting&quot; is becoming more and more common and you may decide it is the right answer for your family and child.  The term redshirting originally referred to postponing a college athlete's participation in regular season games for one year to give him an extra year of further growth and practice with the team in the hope of improving the player's skills for future seasons.  Academic redshirting refers to the practice of postponing entrance into kindergarten for a year beyond the typical age of five in order to allow extra time for socioemotional, intellectual, or physical growth. This kind of redshirting is most often practiced in the case of children whose birthdays are so close to the cut-off dates that they are very likely to be among the youngest in their kindergarten class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Incidence of Redshirting&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The National Center for Education Statistics reports that academic redshirting occurs at the rate of about 9% per year among kindergarten-age children. Redshirting is also more common in affluent communities and for children attending private schools.  According to NCES, boys are more often redshirted than girls, and children born in the latter half of the year are more likely to be redshirted than those born earlier. Redshirting may be a response to demands for a higher level of school readiness.  An Alarmingly high percentage of teachers indicate that half of their students lacked important skills, including &quot;following directions&quot; and the ability to &quot;work independently&quot;. As mentioned above, it is now common for schools to expect thier kinder students to already know their letters and numbers one - ten (some of the schools near where I taught preschool expected 1-50).  20 years ago these academic skills were taught in the kindergarten and were not expected at entrance.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Effects of Redshirting&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the short term, redshirting raises the child's academic achievement, increases the child's confidence in social interactions and popularity among classmates and may simply add to the normal mix of ages and abilities within the classroom. However, there is also some speculation that, in classes where there are children who have been redshirted, some older children may feel alienated from their younger classmates, and some older classmates may have an unfair advantage over younger classmates in size and in psychomotor and social skills. The presence of children of a wider age span may also make the class too diverse for a teacher to manage well.  Children that are ready but redshirted, sometimes find themselves not challenged enough and behavioral challenges can arise due to this boredom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The articles I read included that research is showing that between grades 1 and 3, children that were redshirted have a lower likelihood of receiving &quot;negative feedback from teachers about their academic performance or conduct in class (Cromwell, 1998; West, Meek, &amp;amp; Hurst, 2000) and need less special education intervention than classmates who were retained as kindergartners for a second year (Kundert et al., 1995; May et al., 1995). However, there is also evidence that some first- through third-graders who were redshirted as children required greater use of special education services than their non-redshirted and non-retained classmates (Graue &amp;amp; DiPerna, in press; May et al., 1995).  However, this may be because children with delays might be more likely to be redshirted in the first place.  Cause and effect relationships have not been established scientifically and may not be able to be established.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long-term studies are fewer and even less-definitive.  In my experience, by middleschool, the reaching of adolescence and the physical changes that come with it are important in a student's social experience.  Children who develop first or last, can be at a social disadvantage.  Kids who mature in the middle of the pack are usually more accepted by their peers.  Because these changes occur over a range of ages, it is difficult to predict where your child will fall within this spectrum.  Some children simply mature at earlier - or later ages than others and even the decision to redshirt a child does not afford parents control over this aspect of their child's place within this range.  However, it does make it more likely the redshirted child will not be the last to develop physically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because the research is inconclusive about the effects of redshirting and few school districts prohibit it, &lt;strong&gt;parents are usually the ones who have to decide&lt;/strong&gt; whether to keep their child out of kindergarten for an extra year. The following are some points for parents to consider in making a decision:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It is not recommended to delay entrance into kindergarten just because the child is likely to be among the youngest in the class or has a summer birthday.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Checklist of Things to Consider&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check the school's kindergarten readiness screening procedures or tests to get an idea of how your child might fare in the kindergarten classroom in which she or he will most likely be placed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be assertive about finding out what the school expects of entering kindergartners and the school's suggestions on how you can help your youngster to be prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Solicit the views of your child's preschool teacher about his or her readiness for kindergarten. Ask, for example, whether your child made some friends in her preschool group. Was he or she usually able to follow directions? Does your child appear to the preschool teacher to be ready to begin academic work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find out more about the nature of the kindergarten program at your school. Is it very formal? Is it organized primarily around formal instruction in basic skills or around more informal &quot;learning centers?&quot; Organizing children's learning around informal learning centers can accommodate a greater developmental range of children than a formal, structured arrangement in which basic skills are taught to the whole group of children in rows of desks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else would your child be doing if she did not start kindergarten? Would the child have easy and safe access to playmates and play spaces? Are there easily available (and affordable) good preschool programs for your child?  Some schools are unable to continue preschool programs for children that are officially &quot;school-aged&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you enroll: discuss your concerns with your child's assigned teacher as soon as you recieve this information.  The teacher may have suggestions for activities you can do with your child to help with his/her preparedness or may have information about your specific school or district that will alleviate your fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talking About It With Your Child&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful about discussing your apprehension about starting school with or around your child. If you approach the beginning of kindergarten with your child with real confidence and sufficient reassurance your child is more likely to feel confident and preform better in the school setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful not to exaggerate to a child how much fun she or he will have in kindergarten. It would probably be best to say something like &quot;You'll make new friends, get to do lots of interesting things.  Admitting to your child there might be some tough moments when you will miss each-other or when he or she might feel strange in this new setting may prevent a child from coming unstrung when the inevitable difficult moments do occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most helpful approach for parents may be to obtain suggestions from the school, and ideally from the future teacher as well, about how best to help the child during the first few months of school.  Parents can be most helpful by offering the child reassurance and support, and by resisting the temptation to discuss their own anxieties and concerns in front of the child. On the whole, the evidence about the short- and long-term effects of redshirting is inconclusive. The evidence suggests that some benefits of academic redshirting are short lived (Spitzer et al., 1995; Graue &amp;amp; DiPerna, in press).  The decision may turn out to be less important than the concientous parent worries about it being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Once you've made a decision, trust yourself&lt;/strong&gt;.  You know your child and his limits.  You also know your values and your vision for your child and family.  Go for it and Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-07T10:51:15.550" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T10:51:15.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3466" CreationDate="2012-07-11T17:15:26.967" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just invited a seventeen year old to my daughter's six year party (he is really important to her, a good influence, baby sits and is involved in the same theater group as she, plus his parents are friends of ours).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I asked him to take on a role in the party and provide some of the entertainment.  It gave him something to do that engaged his strengths (as a drama buff he loves entertaining and put on a magic show), honored the difference in age (he also was given a &quot;thank you gift&quot; instead of a &quot;goody bag&quot;) and placed him in the role he is for Alice, mentor.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids need people in their lives from a variety of ages because this provides them with a maximum amount of opportunities for good socialization.  The fact that this young man is being considered by you in the first place causes me to think he is important in your family's set of relationships and probably important to your child, not to mention an accepted and appreciated influence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T17:15:26.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2305" CreationDate="2012-07-11T19:06:24.813" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are the parent and this child needs to understand that. It will develop into a disrespect issue if the case is that she will not even try to eat in a timely manner. I had the same issue with my child who is now 6 years old. More than an hour is too long. Does the child have privileges that she enjoys or would like to have. This can be an opportunity for her to work for it while encouraging her to eat at a healthy pace. Self control is not only for people who tend to over eat. It is also for people who procrastinate at the table. Strong willed children need to feel they can make decisions or at least be involved. But they need to understand that with that involvement they have to show respect to earn that respect. I wish you the best. It will take a while but your child will succeed with your dedication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2949" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T19:06:24.813" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2906" CreationDate="2012-07-11T21:11:14.467" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about carrots? Cheap, easy to prepare, healthy, orange.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T21:11:14.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5586" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6611" CreationDate="2012-07-11T22:50:05.997" Score="5" ViewCount="656" Body="&lt;p&gt;From Unschooling to Unit Studies and even Charlotte Mason there seem to be TONS of homeschooling styles and options for guiding your curricular design within a homeschool.  Currently we are using a virtual school, but the curriculum they send is increasingly text and worksheet based which does not fit my child well.  I am supplementing more and more with alternative activities am beginning to consider there may be a better fit out there.  I was hoping for a synopsis or at least a link to a good synopsis of the different styles because although I have encountered quite a few, I don't believe I have a complete list in the slightest.  If you have tried one of these styles, can you say what you liked and didn't like about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She just turned 6, has completed one year in virtual style homeschooling and is already in second grade for half her subjects with a broad and deep enough understanding that she carried on an intelligable enough conversation with a docent at a museum regarding Greek History that the docent wanted to speak with her more because she found her questions, prior knowledge and vocabulary to be better than many adults'.  I am hoping to find a match for us where she can have one foot in fifth grade with another still in first for example and a style that can last so her age is really not of that much consequence to the question.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T22:34:22.397" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T23:10:04.247" Title="What are the Different Homeschooling Styles?" Tags="|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2012-07-11T23:19:50.840" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I think the general consensus to control your own behavior is the route I'd take. Sure it's difficult, but you can't really expect your child to do (or not do) something you are not willing to do (or not do).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out this clip on mirror neurons from PBS and you can quickly see biochemically why modeling appropriate behavior is so vitally important! There is science behind the old saying Monkey See, Monkey Do after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/mirror-neurons.html&quot;&gt;http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/mirror-neurons.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as you've said, controlling your own behavior can be difficult, particularly if you're trying to change old habits. For this reason, I think its important to be honest with your child and say something along the lines of &quot;I know I've asked you not to swear, and I know that I still do sometimes. I'm working on it, but I'm having a hard time. I just wanted to let you know that I am really working on it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way the expectation remains clear, but so does your acknowledgment of your own behavior and the challenges of changing old habits. Better to not start in the first place is a valuable lesson in habits itself!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2951" LastActivityDate="2012-07-11T23:19:50.840" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4323" CreationDate="2012-07-12T01:44:09.230" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Handwriting without tears is a FABULOUS program that incorporates information for the teacher about how to help lefties use adaptations that are not going to create bad posture and the consequences that go with it.  It also has practice pages designed in such a way that lefties are always able to see a sample letter which is NOT true for most handwriting programs.  It isn't cheap but especially with a leftie in the house, its probably worth it.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hwtears.com/hwt&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Their Website&lt;/a&gt; (I have no affiliation, but have used it and had better success with it than with other programs)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shoe lace tying can be a little tricky too so just expect that to take a little longer and go a little slower with it.  My left-handed dad taught me (a righty) so I actually tie mine backwards even though some how he learned it the &quot;right&quot; way.  He teases me about it, but they stay tied.  My left-handed students tended to get this skill a little later unless they had a lefty parent that helped them learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-12T01:50:45.527" LastActivityDate="2012-07-12T01:50:45.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5564" CreationDate="2012-07-12T19:35:28.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first child was gliding along expertly on a balance bike when he was 4.  Our middle child is, at six, still not comfortable riding.   He doesn't like the falling down part.  The two big differences with them are temperament and the pace of their physical skill development.  I'm personally not worried.  So, at 36 months, just try to make sure it's reasonably fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the important thing is just to give opportunities for balancing or riding.  I would say at least every few days, allow some time for practice with supervision and and in safe place.  This of course implies the obvious safety gear (helmet, and then whatever else you and your child can stand --  long pants and sleeves, possibly pads).  If they keep at it, they will pick it up.  As others have said, it goes from holding and helping balance, to letting go, to letting go and watching. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will figure it out, with or without advice (though presumably good advice and help will speed things).   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2956" LastActivityDate="2012-07-12T19:35:28.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5532" CreationDate="2012-07-13T00:41:57.877" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Look at a discount supply companies - tables and chairs made for schools are usually VERY sturdy. You can find wooden tops with metallic adjustable telescoping legs this way. I'm sorry I don't know which ones are open to the public, but if you do a search for school supply companies (I could name a number of science supply companies, but the furniture from them is more expensive because of the &quot;lab&quot; aspect. They have a chemical coat on top. We actually got our daughter's first at IKEA (not adjustable) and then have just been lucky with a good find at a thrift store&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-13T00:41:57.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5593" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5594" CreationDate="2012-07-13T03:47:45.633" Score="30" ViewCount="2376" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an often-controversial topic, one where it's easy to find conflicting or misleading information.  What are the important points to consider when making the decision to enroll in a mortar and brick school or to home school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-17T12:30:36.870" LastActivityDate="2019-07-17T12:30:36.870" Title="What should I consider when deciding whether to homeschool my child?" Tags="|school|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5593" CreationDate="2012-07-13T03:52:26.767" Score="44" Body="&lt;h1&gt;The Cons&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;These must be considered, but please make sure to read the Pros as well. For us, they make the disadvantages well worth it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Restraints on Parents.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning outside of a school environment can consume a lot of mom or dad's time. Most people probably picture that time being spent at the kitchen table with textbooks and worksheets, but from what I've been reading, that is not how it works for many families. Many families choose more hands-on learning styles that include field trips, experiments and educational activities - this has certainly been true in our house. However, planning, driving to, and participating in those activities (or waiting for them to be over) often becomes the bulk of a homeschooling parent's day. There are predesigned curricula that can be purchased that help to alleviate this time pressure but they are usually costly (K12 is a public-charter school and free option in many states www.k12.com). Such programs also do not entirely erase the time needed to help guide your child through his/her education and they do not make up for the fact that your child who would otherwise be spending 6.5 or more hours of the day out of your home at school is now in your home needing a certain amount of time and attention from you during the day that otherwise might be provided by teachers and peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One single homeschooling mom, Mickey, wrote to the website listed below to say that single parents who home school their kids face even greater time restraints: &quot;We have to be very creative in our timing because I work and home school. Luckily, I work close to home and have a lot of time off, but it's still a challenge.&quot; The amazing part though - it is possible!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Fewer experts in their field&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may be the best expert on your individual child, but teachers can be a wonderful asset and very reassuring when it comes to questions about what is &quot;normal&quot; for a given age. As a teacher I have reassured countless numbers of parents that forgetfulness is in fact a symptom of adolescence and perfectly normal for 12 and 13 year-old children to honestly experience. Then, I give them (the kids) the tools that are needed in order to operate around their forgetfulness and both parents and myself insist upon their use. As a parent, it was nice to know from a teacher who had years of experience with four - year- olds that it is pretty normal for a four year old to be obsessed with death when I became concerned that my daughter seemed over-focused on this topic. However, there are many homeschooling support groups and blogs etc. that can provide this resource in a slightly different way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teachers also have a lot more experience in methods and may be better equipped to offer up secondary activities when a student becomes &quot;stuck&quot; on a subject that are more in line with a given learning modality or style for the individual. Again the many support groups for home schooling parents may be able to offer similar support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Financial Restraints.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Foregoing full-time employment out of the home in order to home school for at least one parent or guardian is common in families that use homeschooling (but some manage to homeschool while still working full time so it is possible). This can be a big sacrifice for families who are struggling to balance their budget (I know, I'm in one of them). Also, depending on how you home school, materials, books and educational etceteras can add up fast. However, the amount of expenditures in the home school do not make a big difference in the success of the student in that home - no more so than a kid in a mortar and brick school with high income earners at home has an advantage over his/her peers. Most books about homeschooling (many of which will be available for free at your public library) will include a chapter or section on homeschooling on a budget. There are also a lot of resources online to help with tips to minimize these expenses should you decide to go this route. For those of you in one of the 30 some odd states covered by k12 (link in paragraph above) this really is a fabulous resource should you enroll in their &quot;Virtual School&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Being with Your Kids 24/7.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no denying it — if you choose to home school, you're going to be with your kids most of the time. This can be a blessing and a curse. If you don't enjoy being together, then homeschooling can help repair damaged relationships and create improvement in your relationship with eachother - or it can make things worse. While it can sometimes be difficult, most home school parents I've read about or with whom I have spoken, view their daily interactions with their kids — the ups as well as the downs — as opportunities for personal and familial growth. If you do not consider yourself as someone with a good sense of humor, moderate amount of patience and do not enjoy the process of learning new things and exploring topics with your child/children, homeschooling may not be the right option for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Limited Team Sports.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While community sports activities fill the void for younger kids, teens often find limited opportunities to join sports teams, club sports exist in some places but not everywhere and this can be an issue for the especially competitive ones. Depending on where you live, home schoolers may or may not be welcome to participate on teams with their public-schooled peers. Several parents did mention that a few families overcame this problem by creating their own teams. There are also families that home school up until the teen years and then switch to mortar and brick for this reason alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Living Outside the Norm.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like any activity that is not mainstream, homeschooling will seem like a strange decision to many, or even as a threat to some. Your extended family members, friends and even acquaintances will likely have opinions they will feel the need to express - and not always in a loving and open way. Many of the families I've read about, met and spoken with, struggle with this in the first few years. Luckily, we have mostly avoided this issue, however there are a few key things to know that can help in these types of conversations. These points are covered in the &quot;pros&quot; section. Family members that are harsh at first, often come around by the third or fourth year as they see the home schooled child/children developing normally or developing as advanced over the years. If you see this as a potential battle for you that you are unprepared to persevere through, homeschooling may not be the best option for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;The Pros&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Stunted Social Development? - Not Really:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I can include this in the pros and not the cons is that this is actually a myth. In most homeschooling cases, children are exposed to a much more diverse array of social situations. For more information about this, there are books and links listed below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The belief that children who are home schooled will come out of it socially backward or unaware is one of those things &quot;dissenters&quot; will commonly claim as a reason your child should be in school. While children can be &quot;sheltered&quot; in the homeschooling environment in such a way as to prevent certain developments, this is a rarity, not the norm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you'll see mentioned below, home schooled kids have more time for valuable extra-curricular interactions that involve their own peer group in a setting of common interests. These settings are much more similar to the workplace setting because even in a workplace, the members of that community at the very least have a common skill set. In a career environment, they are likely to share some interests as well. When we choose a career, interests and skills are both considered. It also sets kids up in a positive environment where the team or club is working toward common goals rather than competing with each-other for having needs met and with disparate values and goals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, home schooling allows for more time for children to be socialized in how to interact with members of the community in a variety of roles and ages. This actually results in generally more respectful and socialized teens and young adults than their mortar and brick schooled counterparts. Home schoolers are known for having a good work-ethic, being more capable of self-direction, and more able to work with bosses and colleagues in a work environment at an earlier age (78% of home schooled teens hold jobs outside the home environment and are successful in their respective workplaces). Teens that are home schooled generally have more time to try entering the work force and learning from the experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I taught middle school, I personally encountered a few students that had been home schooled until they reached middle school and found themselves in my classroom. All of these students were favored by their peers, their teachers, and mentors that ran clubs they were involved in. These students were able to be academically successful while still being &quot;cool&quot;. Additionally, I found this article online that is a brief summary of what I have found said over and over again in every book I've read about it. The article I'm citing here summarizes what was consistently stated in all the books I have read about homeschooling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000068.asp&quot;&gt;http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000068.asp&lt;/a&gt; for access to a more elaborate and academic summary of studies on social development in the home-schooled child. However, I suggest skipping the first couple of paragraphs as the authors do make some sweeping negative claims about mortar-and-brick schools they do NOT take the time to back up with research. The remaining information below these first few paragraphs includes references to psychological and statistical studies that support the idea that homeschooling either, causes no harm to social development in kids, or even, enhances social development. It was the briefest academic summary I found online. This article provides a summary of developing information on the subject in a very accessible way that does not pound our mortar and brick school settings into the ground. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/dec/13/home-schooling-socialization-not-problem/&quot;&gt;http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/dec/13/home-schooling-socialization-not-problem/&lt;/a&gt; There are more and you can also find further information here&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Educational and Developmental Choice.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To some extent, home schooled students have the choice to study and learn what they want, when they want and as deeply as they want and when they are developmentally ready rather than when the system says they should be ready based on averages. Each state has a set of basic expectations of material covered hence the &quot;to a certain extent&quot;. For example, in most states you won't be able to just decide to forgo Language Arts altogether (would you want to?). But those basics may be covered at age six for one child, and at age ten for another, depending on ability, and maturity. The ancillary subject matter becomes much more free though. For example, if you have a budding musician you might teach fractions by discussing rhythm and its notation rather than pizza and pie slices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;No More Time Restraints.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents who home school say they experience a real sense of freedom. With their lives no longer revolving around school hours, homework, and the school calendar, these families plan off-season vacations, visit parks and museums during the week when such places are less crowded, and live their lives according to what works for them rather than what works for the school. It also results in more access to extra-curriculars. Because it requires less time to learn skills and subject matter in the home school environment than it does in the mortar and brick environment, your child will have more time for scouting, 4-H, clubs, sports and arts activities such as singing, acting or learning how to play a musical instrument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Emotional and Social Freedom.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly, peer pressure, competition, boredom, and bullies — are all part of a typical school day. This can be a particular problem for girls. According to studies, self-esteem plummets in middle-school girls. Even the most well-adjusted girls with the most supportive parents and families can have severe struggles navigating the school's social environment (which contrary to belief is NOT like the real-world). However, similar studies of home schooled girls have shown that self-esteem remains intact and that these girls continue to thrive. (Read A Sense of Self: Listening to Home schooled Adolescent Girls by Susannah Sheffer.) Home schooled kids can dress and act and think the way they want and is right for them rather than having to &quot;fit in&quot; to the dress code and values of their friends at school without fear of ridicule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They live in the real world, where lives aren't dictated by adolescent trends and dangerous experimentation. Even grocery shopping offers up certain socialization opportunities as it provides children with a model of how to interact with others within the store layout as well as the cashier or any other workers that might help in finding a specific product. Most home schooled kids have many more of these &quot;real world&quot; kinds of encounters than do their mortar-and-brick schooled counterparts. Home schooled children also usually have a lot more to say in who they spend their time with and wind up having peers that are friends based on common skills or interests rather than just their age. Traditionally schooled children have peers that are friends but they also have a lot of other kinds of peers that exert a less-positive kind of influence or result in less-positive relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Religious Freedom.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many families feel their religious and spiritual beliefs are an important part of who they are. Homeschooling as well as parochial mortar and brick settings provide the opportunity for parents to incorporate their beliefs into their children's daily lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Being with Your Kids 24/7: Closer Family Relationships.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just about every homeschooling family that has been interviewed for the plethora of books and articles I read during my months of research and consideration before choosing this route for my child, stress the important role that homeschooling played in helping them find time to foster loving ties between all family members. There is a lessened competition for time between homework and family time, time for chores etc. This happens because in some senses they all become one-in-the same. Teens seem to benefit enormously from this interaction, and rebellious, destructive behavior often begins to diminish soon after homeschooling begins for those families that enter into a homeschooling situation in the later school years. In families that began homeschooling before the teen years began, there is less incidence of rebellion (I'm really sorry, I don't remember which sources illucidated this, but I believe unschooling.com has a little about it). Although separate study time must be set aside for strictly being devoted to the learning process and practice for new information and skills, many school topics can even be discussed and taught while family members cook dinner or wash dishes. You can also more easily introduce efficient units of study that are cross-curricular. For example, while studying ancient Greece, you can also study Homer (Literature), The rich and varied art of the age, and various principles and inventions in mathematics and geometry (Euclid, Archimede's Screw etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Stability During Moves.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Homeschooling is a wonderful option for families on the move. I've read descriptions of how stabilizing homeschooling can be (because the curriculum stays consistent) for these families. Military families are particularly likely to benefit because of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Well-Rested Kids.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As more and more studies are illustrating, sleep is vital to the emotional and physical well-being of kids, especially teens and preteens. Preteens actually need almost as much sleep as a kindergartner because of the amount of growing going on within their changing bodies. The effects of early morning classes can be devastating to many children. Up too late and too early the next morning, these kids are not in a mental state appropriate to effective learning. In a home school environment, it is still important to get all your work done and this can mean hours of work, but if something is happening in life that means sleeping in is the healthiest choice, adjustments to the schedule can be made and both sleep and academic needs can be met. It is also important not to allow these fluctuations too often, for too long because changing sleep patterns can have a profound effect on grades, emotional well-being, mood and the social well-being of a preteen or teen with her/his peers. However, in the home school, the schedule is yours to set and it is only the needs of family members that must be considered, not the needs of the masses at hand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Little to No Busywork.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Home schooled children can accomplish in a few hours what takes a typical classroom a few days or more to cover. In a recent interview, John Taylor Gatto, New York City Teacher of the Year and a 26-year teaching veteran, said that in many classrooms less than one hour out of each school day is spent on &quot;on task&quot; learning. Even in the most efficient classrooms, teachers are attempting to cover material in as many learning styles as possible under budget, legal, administrative and skill constraints. Even when &quot;on task&quot; many of the items and activities that are done are not conducive to your child's learning style and his or her learning the material. No wonder these kids have so much homework. And that brings us to a major &quot;pro&quot; of homeschooling: No more homework! (Well, maybe all of it becomes homework - but there will be time to do it because your kids aren't wasting time on whatever irrelevant thing kids in a mortar and brick environment are waiting on that day).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;On a final note&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have occasionally referred to schooling in a public or private school here as &quot;traditional schooling&quot;. Schools as we know them are really something that has only developed in this country during the last 100 - 150 years. Prior to that, the majority of students attended one-roomed schoolhouses with a mixed range of ages and abilities or were schooled at home. Many of our pioneers had to home school because of geographic isolation (My father was one of these in his early years in Alaska while it was still a territory). This country has actually been founded on the backs of many men and women that were home schooled. Many of our founding fathers were schooled in the home. The change toward emphasizing a more structured and standardized education that has occurred in this country has mostly been to the advancement of our society and I agree that public schools as well as private have a lot of advantages to offer up. However, in reality they are neither more traditional than homeschooling nor exclusively and always better for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Read more on FamilyEducation&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/parenting/29861.html#ixzz1CY2zNKc7&quot;&gt;http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/parenting/29861.html#ixzz1CY2zNKc7&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child: Your Complete Guide to Getting Off to the Right Start by Linda Dobson (May 24, 2001)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;So WHY Do You Home School? by Mimi Davis (Nov 2, 2005)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Homeschool Your Child for Free: More Than 1,200 Smart, Effective, and Practical Resources for Home Education on the Internet and Beyond by LauraMaery Gold and Joan M. Zielinski (Aug 3, 2000)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The Everything Guide to Homeschooling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Homeschooling: The Early Years: Your Complete Guide to Successfully Homeschooling the 3- to 8- Year-Old Child by Linda Dobson (Aug 11, 1999)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="691" LastEditDate="2012-07-26T13:32:26.997" LastActivityDate="2012-07-26T13:32:26.997" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5596" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-13T04:12:57.297" Score="17" ViewCount="80672" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is potty trained during the day and is currently sleeps with pull-up. For the past few nights she has been peeing so much that she wets her bed. We have tried to restrict her liquid intake before bedtime, but that doesn't seem to have helped. Please help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2961" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-30T20:36:57.610" LastActivityDate="2018-10-06T07:19:45.360" Title="How do I stop my 3yr old from wetting the bed at night?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5596" CreationDate="2012-07-13T10:37:48.617" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some useful steps we used:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to move her liquid intake earlier in the day - sounds like you have been trying to do this, but it is what will really make a difference at this age&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure she visits the toilet just before bed - possibly encourage her to do this both before and after cleaning her teeth. Sometimes trying twice can help a child relatively newly potty trained&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Possibly wake the child up to go to the toilet again in the middle of the night. This is a temporary measure, which shouldn't be encouraged long term, but may help in the short term&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use absorbent bed mats to at least reduce the amount of washing you need to do&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="2785" LastEditDate="2012-08-29T01:01:12.680" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T01:01:12.680" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5596" CreationDate="2012-07-13T12:05:10.780" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 3yo she may not be ready to be 100% toilet trained. My daughter took a lot longer than that before she could reliably go through the night without wetting herself. The body can just take a while to develop the necessary feedback loop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried all the things Rory mentioned, including midnight toilet runs. Didn't help. She was ready when she was ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4yo son is a lot better and remains dry 9 out of 10 times but still has mishaps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-07-13T12:05:10.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5600" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-13T14:51:57.000" Score="4" ViewCount="258" Body="&lt;p&gt;I travel a great deal for my job. Most weeks I'm gone from Sunday Night until Thursday Night, and sometimes I'm gone through the weekend as well. I have two children, a 5 year old and a 3 year old. I used to have a lot more time to spend with them because I was working a job with flexible hours: I could pick them up from day care most days, cook dinner, and be there for all the activities and sports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried because my son, who is 5, is starting to act out more with punching and kicking. To be very clear, he doesn't punch or kick his little sister or the pets or other kids, just his mom and I. We've actually had a bit of a breakthrough on this particular issue, he's stopped punching and kicking his mother, and he doesn't kick anymore, but he still punches at me when he gets mad on the weekends. And he gets mad a lot, over pretty much anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not so worried about the violence itself, because he doesn't bully people who are weaker than him, like his sister, and he never tries to hurt animals. We get very good reports about his behavior at daycare. In general, he's still a very gentle kid. I think he's upset with me in particular, and really at a loss to use any of his other tools to deal with it. He does say sometimes that he wishes I didn't have to go away, or that he wishes that his mom had to go instead, but he really doesn't like talking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help him handle this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T14:42:06.317" Title="How can I make my travel schedule easier on my 5-year old?" Tags="|travel|tantrums|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5564" CreationDate="2012-07-13T17:14:14.390" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Daughter started riding her STRIDER at 16 months and now at almost 3.5 yo she is a pro! My son has been a little slower. He started walking with his STRIDER at 17 months and is just now (19 months) starting to trust the seat instead of just walking with it. More than anything you have to let them take their time and get the feel for it. Once it clicks most kids will take off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2964" LastActivityDate="2012-07-13T17:14:14.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5602" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-13T20:10:46.503" Score="1" ViewCount="102" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 13-month-old regularly takes a short nap in the early evening.   It's usually both too short (under an hour) and too close to bedtime (within 2-3 hours) for us to want to put him in his crib in his bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, we use the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001HOIC8K&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bjorn bouncer&lt;/a&gt; to help lull him to sleep and give him a comfy place to nap that's not confused with &quot;going to bed&quot;.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he's about to outgrow it.   Is there some other device or technique that allows for shorter, more informal naps for a kid too big for a bouncer?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T18:35:19.100" Title="Is there a quick-nap device for kids too big for a Bjorn (or other) bouncer?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5603" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-13T21:00:56.500" Score="0" ViewCount="788" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a hypothetical question, but I could see it happening to me one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A father uses a public microwave oven to cook supper to feed his children. The microwave is technically clean, but he is nervous that the &quot;fumes&quot; from other dishes previously cooked in there will &quot;contaminate&quot; the meals of his young ones. After realizing that he wants his kids to eat healthier, he decides that he wants to take action. He wonders if it is safe to double-wrap the food in saran wrap or possibly some other material. Should he do this? It might be unsafe and would release plastic toxins into the food if not cause a fire in the microwave? However, if it is safe, then what is the best material to use for the wrapping?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2950" LastActivityDate="2012-07-16T01:19:02.413" Title="Microwaving supper for the children in a filthy microwave" Tags="|health|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2012-07-16T19:37:42.680" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5604" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-13T23:01:35.507" Score="2" ViewCount="4005" Body="&lt;p&gt;The seat cover on my Maclaran (Quest) stroller is pretty filthy, and it all unsnaps, but the Maclaran site doesn't seem to have any info on whether you can machine wash it (or how to wash it at all).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone have any guidance?  If the washer is safe, does it work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-29T08:10:57.080" LastActivityDate="2017-03-14T02:32:55.420" Title="Can I clean the fabric from my stroller in a washer and dryer?" Tags="|cleaning|stroller|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5605" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5961" CreationDate="2012-07-14T07:48:40.103" Score="8" ViewCount="7200" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a ten year old child who gets spooked to tears to sleep in his room alone because another child at school told him a nonsense story about &lt;a href=&quot;http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Slender_Man&quot;&gt;Slender Man&lt;/a&gt;. The child added a few bits to the myth, stating that Slender Man:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Collects children for his cave&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can teleport&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also asked my child what the reason for collecting children would be, etc., etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explained that teleportation has no basis in known physics (but creating a copy of a person from one location and creating a separate copy of that person elsewhere is possible but the technology is not there)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, irrespective of which explanations I choose, he is afraid to sleep alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="534" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-29T12:22:28.980" LastActivityDate="2015-11-06T18:41:44.370" Title="How do I prevent my child from becoming frightened by &quot;scary&quot; stories?" Tags="|primary-schooler|bedtime|fears|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5603" CreationDate="2012-07-14T09:47:31.297" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your best solution bar none if the microwave is actually dirty:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clean the microwave first&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take along some kitchen wipes and give it a good scrub before you use it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of fumes - microwaves typically have a fan to move air out anyway, and if not, just open the door for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would be far better than wrapping the food in something that could actually cause much more contamination problems than the residue of prior microwaved foods (which, to be honest, will be quite thoroughly nuked after being in the microwave for a while)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-14T09:47:31.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5605" CreationDate="2012-07-14T09:54:45.470" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;These kind of stories are meant to scare children - the child collector from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the wicked witch, Grimm fairy tales, Doctor Who - we have a rich history of scary stories for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem isn't the being scared - it's actually a good healthy part of growing up. The thing to do is not try to persuade your child that they shouldn't be scared (because they are scared - there's no getting around that)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a wide range of people who put great faith in the protective powers of pulling the duvet/sheets up over the head to protect from all monsters at night, and I seem to recall having to avoid the squeaky stairs myself when going upstairs in the dark to avoid monsters as a young child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your talking with your child about the rational issues with this story are an excellent start point, but additionally talk with your child about why scary stories are fun, how the being scared is exciting, but that knowing they have safety in the house with their parents makes it okay. Make sure they know that you are a protector who can prevent the Slender Man's teleportation into your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-14T09:54:45.470" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5600" CreationDate="2012-07-14T10:00:25.367" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to be in a similar situation - working 100 hour weeks, being away a lot, and rarely seeing my 3 kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My partial solution was to make sure I really focused on them when I was at home - playing with them, doing fun stuff and generally trying to make up for the rest of the time I wasn't there. Phone calls in the evenings I was away helped a little, but they aren't a substitute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being very consistent with your wife as to how you approach discipline and reward is also essential - if you are the threat (ie &quot;you'll be in trouble when Daddy gets home&quot;) that definitely won't help you. Additionally, if you don't make time for your wife when you are at home this will also be picked up on by your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My only full solution was to quit that job entirely and set up my own company... possibly not a useful solution for you right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-14T10:00:25.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5602" CreationDate="2012-07-14T10:01:54.040" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our three all liked a 'Coorie corner' - basically we'd make a nest of blankets next to wherever we were sitting and just tuck them into it. They'd be next to us and hearing us talking so it wouldn't be a full-on sleep, but they'd get a wee nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-14T10:01:54.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5605" CreationDate="2012-07-14T21:07:06.643" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to agree with Rory.  I am 31 years old and I cannot watch horror films (seriously, the last horror film I watched was &lt;em&gt;Thirteen Ghosts&lt;/em&gt; which many horror enthusiasts assure me is one of the absolute worst horror films ever made, but after I watched that movie I swore off of them altogether because I didn't sleep for days--and I was probably 25 when I watched that movie!).  I have always had a vivid imagination, and it doesn't matter that I can rationalize to myself all the reasons that the movie or story is impractical and irrational.  I will lie awake in bed thinking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's probably a healthy sign that your child has a vivid enough imagination that this story has made that kind of impact on him.  It at least means that he is able to imagine these things happening.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a child and afraid of scary stories I'd heard, the one thing that calmed me down was to hear from my parents that there was nothing in our house that was going to hurt me, and they wouldn't let anything hurt me.  I can't explain it, but it really helped make me feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-07-14T21:07:06.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5611" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-15T06:22:42.147" Score="4" ViewCount="254" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're moving house (within the neighborhood) in early August. In September, our 2-and-a-bit year old moves to a new daycare. But at the same time, she's also at a stage where she's getting big for her crib (as in &quot;can probably climb out on her own&quot;), and also seems pretty ready for potty training (which it'd be nice to do in the warm months...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: moving house, new daycare, new bed, potty training. Do we need to space these out, or can we do more than one at once? Roughly how much time should we allot for each one, and how long do we need between these big changes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastActivityDate="2012-07-15T14:13:55.813" Title="Do I need to space big changes? How much?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|potty-training|daycare|moving|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5611" CreationDate="2012-07-15T10:24:17.503" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Doing everything at once gets it over with in one go, but at the risk that it won't go very well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would changing one element at a time. Toddlers are a bit like people with autism; they like fixed patterns and repetition, any change can be upsetting. Especially when you're facing big changes, tread lightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't really say &quot;do one change every two months&quot; because every change is different and will take a different period of time to adjust to, respectively to learn. But here' my totally subjective gut feeling:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;adjusting to new home: four weeks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;adjusting to new daycare: six weeks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;adjusting to new bed: four weeks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;potty training: a year?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More importantly than the spacing is that  you &lt;strong&gt;really &lt;em&gt;focus&lt;/em&gt; on the change:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prepare positively, talk about it in advance, make her understand that a change is coming up and make her look forward to it. Address any concerns or fears. Talk about it &lt;em&gt;a lot.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the change comes around, find reasons to give sincere praise on specific details. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: &lt;em&gt;How far in advance?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can start talking about it as you as you actually start planning it; simply make it a topic that is talked about in the family. &lt;strong&gt;Start specifically preparing your child&lt;/strong&gt; only a few weeks in advance, maybe 2-3 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-07-15T11:31:10.540" LastActivityDate="2012-07-15T11:31:10.540" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5611" CreationDate="2012-07-15T14:13:55.813" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Moving to a new house and changing the daycare are big changes, a new bed is a small change. Potty training can be either, as is so often the case, it depends...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see three separate issues here: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Can you separate the daycare switch from the moving? If you can, you definitely should consider making them two distinct events, IMO&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Moving means a new room and some changes in how the things in your daughter's room are set up anyway, a new bed is most likely accepted as part of the overall change. I think you should definitely keep these two changes together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The good thing about potty training is that you are free to start or stop it at any point. If you have the impression that your child is having too much stress and it is getting too much, just suspend it for the time being.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, here is some general advice about moving that we hope will serve us well in a few months:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Prepare your child for the change. Tell her what is going to happen early on and repeatedly, so she is not surprised when it actually happens&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to involve her. Let her decide the colour of her new room, let her 'help' with painting it. Give her things to carry when moving out of the old/into the new place.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If possible, visit the new place with her beforehand. Show her around, tell her &quot;this is going to be the bathroom, here will be our kitchen, this will be your new room...&quot; The better she knows it, the less she will be afraid of her new environment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to maintain some sort of 'visible stability', e.g. keep the same pictures on the wall (even though you might want to use the opportunity of throwing away some of the older ones...)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-07-15T14:13:55.813" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5603" CreationDate="2012-07-16T01:19:02.413" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's certainly no real danger to microwaving food in a dirty microwave, it's just a little unsightly.  However, if you're worried about mysterious fumes and/or want to keep a clean microwave from becoming a dirty microwave, it's a good idea to cover the dish with an overturned plate, or if you're microwaving a tupperware, have the lid on top but cocked to one side.  This will prevent splatter from the dish as it cooks, and is a microwave safe way to cover the food.  Fixes the problem twice as it were.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2963" LastActivityDate="2012-07-16T01:19:02.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3557" CreationDate="2012-07-16T06:07:51.710" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm answering as someone who was involved in sex play as a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that my experience is particularly useful in this discussion because it was fully benign (or so it seemed) and consensual.  Struggling with the memory was complicated beyond what I can easily explain here.  To begin with, I had lots of sexual thoughts through the ages of 4 to 12 and felt intense shame for it.  My experience occurred when I was so young that I was actually able to deny that it ever happened, and told myself that I made it up... because I was a bad person, it just made sense to me that way.  About a decade later on, the father of the other children involved went to prison for child molestation (I should stress this involved even &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; children).  I confronted the others involved in my incident (now adults), and found out that indeed, it did happen and that I wasn't crazy, and that I was somewhat of a 2nd echo of the terror that an adult was causing to children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all obviously take this issue very seriously, but due to my own personal experience, I'm tempted to see it as much more than just &quot;it's not sexual to them&quot;.  There are several things that you need to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You're thinking about the child, but the child grows up some day.  You you need to think about how this person will face those memories as they grow up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even though it's not sexual to them, it probably leaves a big impression on them.  Sex isn't just about sex, it's also about desires, curiosity, and a connection with another person.  A young mind understands some of this, is very impressionable, and remembers such experiences well.  This is why those memories can weigh on them heavily later in life (which could be harmless or terrible).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Right or wrong, we don't consider consent to be the same thing with children, and they need to be taught this.  You don't need to condemn it, but you should teach them to not repeat the behavior, especially with other children who they would might otherwise see as perfectly interested.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a book that came out fairly recently which is absolutely fantastic for people who've struggled with such memories in their life.  If you want the really long answer to this question, I would suggest you read it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Zio9K.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Zio9K.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;The Trauma Myth book cover&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=P4uHGgoul_YC&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Trauma Myth: The Truth About the Sexual Abuse of Children - and Its Aftermath&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarize, society's efforts to provide resources to victims of child rape and molestation have narrowed our picture of what we see as a victim.  We've also narrowed the time frame on which we respond to it.  We've equipped ourselves to deal with the proverbial pedophile stranger who goes after kids in the playground, even though most cases don't fit a profile even remotely close to that.  The thrust of the book is that for most cases, the hard work of coping with childhood sexual trauma events often comes years afterwards as the individual learns how to correctly frame what happened, at which point they can feel all sorts of betrayal, shame, and other feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might sound unhelpful, but when my parents dumped a pile of sex-ed books from the public library in my lap it really didn't help me come to closure with what I was dealing with.  It just intensified my feelings and didn't help me feel any less alone about it, but I think that sex-ed, in general, helps.  Children at all ages need some form of sex-ed, and when you encounter such an event you're somewhat forced into it.  The important things to communicate are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is nothing wrong with whatever they feel or think.  Other people have similar experiences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's not okay to act on those feelings.  It's not okay for anyone else to either.  Above all, involving other people is not okay.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They're going to hit puberty, and they're really going to have to deal with it then.  There is a natural process of becoming and adult, and it involves a lot of confusing and frustrating feelings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have the opportunity to come from a space of understanding and empathy, not just about what your child is currently going through, but also about what they will confront in the future, which they don't know themselves.  It might be a fairly trivial event and it might not be, but either way the child just needs someone to be there to show love understanding and acceptance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The final thing to mention is that your relationship with the adults who spend time with your child's cousin might get complicated.  It's important to mention it could be anyone who spends time that child who implanted these behaviors, or it could be none of them.  Honestly, I would probably seek expert advice on this issue if I were you.  I'm not an expert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2970" LastEditorUserId="17176" LastEditDate="2016-04-05T18:42:14.853" LastActivityDate="2016-04-05T18:42:14.853" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3557" CreationDate="2012-07-16T07:38:49.910" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Playing doctor is something all kids want to try at some point. Being kids, there's no harm in that as long as it's literally innocent play and they didn't get any ideas from others in advance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer about seeing &quot;what can fit inside&quot; sounds like one of those girls has seen more about purpose of the private parts than what a 4yo should know. If there's some indication that the kids know &quot;too much&quot; then I'd discourage it; you don't want them doing adult stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid (age 10 or so; at younger ages there was no opportunity so I can't comment on that) I played some innocent doctor games with a female friend in the neightborhood. I moved away later (unrelated reason) but otherwise it might have continued. I'm sure that was harmless, but it did awaken my curiosity for the opposite gender as well as a desire to see more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worse though, there was a boy in the neighborhood who showed me some of his dads pron movies and that has most certainly messed with my mind. There's a reason that such material is not allowed for underagers! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The combination of those two friendshipps has planted the idea in my head that &quot;playing with kids&quot; is okay even though I rationally know that it's absolutely not okay and highly illegal. This is all in my head; I've never done anything in the real world. But the thinking doesn't go away, ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that's where the actual danger lies, in my opinion: if small kids' sex play is not truly innocent but informed from some source, then it can be the start of a very dangerous path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2971" LastActivityDate="2012-07-16T07:38:49.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5617" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5636" CreationDate="2012-07-16T10:24:01.923" Score="8" ViewCount="22496" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess that I am lucky in some ways. My son, three months old. Loves being in the bath. He is not scared of water and loves to splash. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, taking him out of the bath is a different matter, often it will set him off screaming, and crying which can last till after he is dried and dressed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he upset about leaving the bath? Or is it likely to be the sensation of being wet but not in the bath that he likes. Are there ways to make getting out of the bath less shocking for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I normally pick him out and wrap him in a towel straight away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2972" LastActivityDate="2019-09-23T12:46:57.873" Title="Calming Baby after bath" Tags="|newborn|bathing|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5617" CreationDate="2012-07-16T15:13:24.387" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;try just letting the water out of the tub.  Sitting in the bottom if the tub, with no water, is not fun.  Perhaps then the idea of a towel and a hug will seem more attractive..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2973" LastActivityDate="2012-07-16T15:13:24.387" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5617" CreationDate="2012-07-16T16:25:42.743" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps he is just cold. You could try warming the towel a bit just before taking him out, or warming his clothes. In the first days of my son's life, we would wrap his clothes and diaper around a hot water bottle (in opposite order of putting on him), then wrap a towel around all that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-07-16T16:25:42.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5620" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5622" CreationDate="2012-07-17T01:12:16.600" Score="11" ViewCount="17930" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 3 1/2 year old child has entered an &quot;I can't&quot; phase.  He says &quot;he can't&quot; about things he really can do.  It becomes hard to detect when to help or not help, because you're supposed to help children with things they can't do.  However it's pretty much &quot;giving into tantrum&quot; if you help a child do something they say they can't do but they really CAN do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you deal with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-14T12:30:37.457" LastActivityDate="2019-08-14T12:30:37.457" Title="How to deal with a child in an &quot;I can't&quot; phase?" Tags="|pre-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-17T09:27:06.990" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a similar situation at home. In our case, &lt;em&gt;I can't&lt;/em&gt; actually means  &lt;em&gt;I don't want to&lt;/em&gt;. We are talking about things our daughter can very well do herself: putting on her shoes, dressing herself, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way we found to deal with it is to go and check, if she really needs help. If not, we encourage her to try it by herself. The important thing is to stay firm in not helping, when no help is needed. This is most difficult when we are about to leave, and it would speed things up tremendously if I just put her on on her shoes...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, my advice is to check up on what your child is doing and see if help is needed (because sometimes, it is!). And keep repeating the mantra of all parents in the world:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;It is only a phase, it will pass...&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;It is only a phase, it will pass...&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;It is only a phase, it will pass...&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T09:27:06.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-17T09:57:29.627" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously you will need to check just to confirm they actually can do it (for example they say they can't put their shoes on when you know they can - could be down to having something stuck in the shoe...it's happened before) but if they are just saying 'I can't' then they probably are just attention seeking, or wanting to do something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A useful workaround we always went with was to say, &quot;Oh, that's a pity, because if you don't get that done we'll run out of time when shopping (or whatever) so won't be able to go to the park (insert other nice activity here)&quot; and help them understand that there is a cause and effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 3 1/2 they can start to see how this works - it didn't work so well when we first tried it around 2; think they were just too young to grasp the relationship between now and later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used this sort of discipline throughout - especially as they got older. Good behaviour meant we had time to do fun stuff, but tantrums or bad behaviour took time out of our day that then had to come out of their play. Be firm - a few rules like this help a child immensely when developing their understanding of boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T09:57:29.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-17T10:22:40.383" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found with my kids that giving them a choice helps them remember that they can. Put your shoes on and come with me to go have fun, or leave your shoes off and take a nap and no toys, no TV, nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes you just need to let them fail and that is enough motivation. When my boy was 3 I saw that he didn't need training wheels on his bike. I took them off and he squawked. I took him on a gentle grass hill next to my house and had him try it, but he was so determined to fail that before he even got on the bike he fell over and said &quot;See! I told you I can't&quot;. I laughed and told him that he couldn't go on a ride until he learned how to ride. He started his tantrum and I went back into the house. As I closed the door he yelled up to me and said &quot;Wait!&quot; I opened the door and he decided he could do it now. He rode for about 20 feet and shocked himself and jumped off. I was excited for him and told him I knew he could do it. Then he got on the bike and rode it for a few minutes. He was excited and I took him on a ride.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T10:22:40.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5605" CreationDate="2012-07-17T14:57:29.737" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child's fears are not rational, so I'm guessing that that is why rational explanations aren't helping as much as you'd like.  I watched Hellraiser when I was in my twenties and still &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; like a bloody hand might come up through my mattress and pull me down to Hell, even though I &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; that this can't happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that your child is scared and embellishing on this story of his own accord shows that he has a powerful imagination.  Try making it work for him.  First, reassure him that Slender Man is fiction, but then ask him how a fictional hero could defeat Slender Man.  Help your child figure out how to keep the bad guy at bay, and that will go a long way to diffusing his fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(The first example I thought of was to think of a short rhyme that your child might say as a ward when he feels scared. Other examples might be to draw a picture of Slender Man in a book and tie it closed, or eats lots of broccoli at dinnertime because Slender Man hates kids that taste like broccoli, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T14:57:29.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-17T15:20:59.723" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our eldest son went through this phase at about 3 years old.  We discovered that he seemed to think that he should be able to do things right the first time, and when that didn't happen, that meant he couldn't do it.  Added to that, he thought he'd be in trouble if he didn't get his shoes on right because we were in a hurry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We spent some time (probably a week or so) repeating and reinforcing the idea that &quot;Nobody gets it right the first time or even all the time&quot;, &quot;Practice is how we learn to do things&quot;, and &quot;We won't learn it if we don't try it.&quot;  We also took some time to model this behavior by pointing out times when Mommy and Daddy didn't quite get something—like missing a basket when playing ball—and showing how we kept trying even though we didn't get it the first time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't long before he started saying &quot;OK I try&quot; instead of &quot;No Mommy I can't.&quot;  Sometimes we are still in a rush, but he at least tries to get ready, and we praise him for making the effort even when we have to correct his work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T15:20:59.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5626" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5629" CreationDate="2012-07-17T17:51:09.270" Score="13" ViewCount="1072" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have tried very hard to show both of our children that they are loved and cared for, and to encourage their own unique interests and to be proud of the individuals they are growing into.  My boys (4 and 2) like to dress in matching clothes sometimes and play the same games sometimes, but they are also very much their own little selves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that when we go out, other people tend to pay attention to the little one and ignore the elder.  I wasn't overly concerned about it at first, but the elder has started noticing and commenting on it.  And most concerning of all is that now he has started firmly declaring that his eyes are blue and big and beautiful (they are a lovely brown) like his little brother's, and he will start doing whatever it is that his brother has done recently that has gotten a stranger's attention (like singing the alphabet, or using baby talk).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old is a good kid, and I am really concerned about him being down on himself.  I can't change what other people say to him, nor can I make them pay attention to both boys equally, so how do I help him understand that he doesn't need to compare himself to his brother?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should mention that by &quot;stranger,&quot; I don't mean some random weirdo on the street, but rather residents of our town who we encounter with regularity but don't know well socially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2017-04-26T21:42:30.303" Title="How to mitigate the impact of other people comparing my children to each other?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5602" CreationDate="2012-07-17T18:35:19.100" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hammock.  Seriously.  Lots of cultures use them for babies.  You can make one in about 5 minutes by tying two pieces of rope around the ends of a blanket/towel/whatever. -&amp;lt;==&gt;- ascii hammock.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2978" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T18:35:19.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5626" CreationDate="2012-07-17T18:58:50.193" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A dirty solution: my suggestion would be to find something your 4 year old would like doing (swimming, martial arts, drawing, sports etc). Performing any activities without his brother present will earn him praise from trainers, making him feel better about himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can assign your children age appropriate chores in the house. IE, your 4 year old may be able to help with preparing food, clear and set the table. Seeing how he's able to do some tasks that his brother can't do yet will also make him feel more accomplished. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find something that the older boy can teach the younger boy. Praise him for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2141" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T18:58:50.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5626" CreationDate="2012-07-17T19:02:49.087" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that the adage &quot;forewarned is forarmed&quot; would be good here. Since you have identified a situation that you want to be prepared for, and you don't have the power to change the other adults, you need to be prepared for these encounters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would keep a mental list of recent accomplishments that your 4yr old has done and when the other adult has lavished praise onto your 2yr old, you can drop those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Them: &quot;Oh, look how cute Bobby is, doesn't he just do that thing that a 2 year old can do i a most wonderful way.&quot;&#xA;Bobby: &quot;daa daaa baa baa goo goo&quot;&#xA;You: &quot;Why thanks you, and did you know that the Billy has learned to count to 10&quot;&#xA;Billy: &quot;1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10&quot;&#xA;Them: &quot;Well isn't that wonderful too&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just interject it as required. It's like going to a dinner party, you should always have 3 jokes and 3 observations at hand for any conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that there will always be a level of sibling rivalry and one-up-man-ships (I see it on my 6yr old and 18 month old now) but I think it is completely normal until they start to have those areas that they each excel at, which they certainly will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T19:02:49.087" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5626" CreationDate="2012-07-17T19:28:54.977" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yeah, it's a tough one.  Here's what I do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I avoid telling my daughter (she's 5) how to feel&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I tell her stories about how people coo'ed over her when she was 2.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I give her praise for age appropriate achievements and tell her how her younger brother couldn't do those things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she tries to get praise for doing the same things as her brother, I tell her what he's doing is special because he is 2.  I try to tell her something she could do that would be similarly impressive for someone her age.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;From time-to-time I just plain indulge her and pretend she's a cute little baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I guess, be understanding, non-judgemental, emphasise how the attention is function of the 2 year old being 2 and not because he's any better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that's helpful&#xA;-Dylan&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2978" LastActivityDate="2012-07-17T19:28:54.977" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="364" CreationDate="2012-07-18T03:55:42.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best method that seems to work for me is to soak the poopy clothes in hot water and 1/2 scoop Vanish stain remover. After that I just put it in Washing Machine with 2 caps of Dettol (disinfectant) and without adding any detergent. The hot water seems to take away the stains very fast. The hot water does the trick most of the time even without the stain remover, but I add it when it is quite dirty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1918" LastEditorUserId="1918" LastEditDate="2012-07-18T04:11:33.630" LastActivityDate="2012-07-18T04:11:33.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-18T15:45:07.410" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kid's like a challenge, so make it one.  Instead of saying &quot;Billy, put your shoes on&quot;  say &quot;Billy, I bet you can't put your shoes on with your eye's closed!&quot;  Instead of &quot;Sally, put your pajamas in the drawer.&quot;  try &quot;Sally, bet you can't put your pajamas in the drawer with one hand behind your back.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I use &quot;minute-to-win-it&quot; with my five year old.  &quot;Marie, I see you left your light on in your room upstairs.  Your challenge is to turn it off.  Your prize is X. You have a minute to win it.  Ready? GO!&quot;  Prize can be simple.  Three kisses on the cheek, one &quot;climb-up-Daddy&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-07-18T15:45:07.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-18T19:16:34.053" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try chunking the tasks into smaller ones. For example, if your son says he can't get dressed:&#xA;&quot;What do you need to put on to get dressed? How about your shirt? Can you find it? Can you put it on? What else do you need to put on? Pants? Can you put them on? What else are you missing?&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage your child to try to do something. &quot;You're a big boy, I bet you can do it! If you try, I'll give you a hug!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's something that you can demonstrate to your child - do it. IE if you want your kid to build a tower from blocks, get another set. Show him: can you put these 4 blocks like this? Can you add another two like this? Another one? Keep going! See, it's easy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't push your child too hard to do something you think he can do, but have him try a couple times first. Show him how proud you are when he does. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2141" LastActivityDate="2012-07-18T19:16:34.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5634" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5637" CreationDate="2012-07-18T22:21:56.593" Score="7" ViewCount="2979" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler was using the potty frequently when he turned about 2.5 years, then after Memorial weekend, he suddenly stopped going.  He seems to hold it forever and is very stubborn.  I haven't had him go to the potty since the end of May. Is there a way to retrain him to use the potty on regular basis?  He is almost 3 now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2902" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-01T21:32:19.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T21:32:19.617" Title="Retrain toddler to potty?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5617" CreationDate="2012-07-19T02:45:00.147" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I was warm and happy in the tub I would probably scream too when you took me out ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's probably a combination of being somewhere that is warm and feels natural (think that they spent 9 months floating in warm body temperature water) and just simple opposition to any kind of transition. I think that kids of all ages (even some of us old guys) need a little help to change from one state to another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just make sure that you don't do anything to make the bath less fun, this might introduce a bigger problem.... a kid that doesn't want to take a bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When bath time is over, have a nice towel, maybe a favorite toy, entice them to want to leave the bath. Make it a game. We have a giant mirror along one wall of our bathroom and always play &quot;Kiss the Baby&quot; and have them kiss their reflection. Getting out of the tub is as big a production as getting into it. In fact, my 6 year old still want to do kiss the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2012-07-19T02:45:00.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5634" CreationDate="2012-07-19T05:16:41.773" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is actually relatively normal to revert a little.  Try not to get upset or punish, accidents do happen and it is developmentally appropriate for him to be more interested in play time right now.  They get busy and want to play and think they can hold until something more boring is going on.  If he is at home with you it would be pretty easy just to have a &quot;pit stop&quot; every hour to hour and a half as part of your routine.  Be upbeat and positive about it AND when you decide you need a pit-stop talk about that too.  &quot;Wow, I have to go potty right now.  I wish I didn't have to because I like reading stories with you, but I'd better go so I don't have an accident.  I'll be right back&quot; or, &quot;Hmm. . . before I get in the car I think I will try to go potty so that I don't have to later while we're driving.  You should probably try too.  Do you want to try before me or after me?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is at preschool - most of the good ones work regular potty breaks into the schedule anyway.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is likely to be reluctant, but you can reassure him that after he has tried, he can go back to playing again.  Then praise him for trying when he does sit down and give it a try.  If he absolutely refuses, I wouldn't force it.  I liked to point out to these kids, how much MORE play time they miss out on when they have to &quot;get cleaned up and changed&quot; because an accident instead of just using the potty in the first place (natural consequences you know).  If he still won't try, let him have the accident and then while he is getting cleaned up be really slow about getting him dressed again while you say something along the lines of, &quot;Darn, what a bummer you have to spend all this time getting clean again.  I'm sorry that happened, what a bummer you didn't try to go earlier, you could be out there playing right now.  Darn&quot;.  Again, the idea is not to stress that the accident was bad, but that he might have avoided it if he'd made a different decision earlier.  No punishments and that is all, enough times with this message he'll eventually get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once in awhile, this kind of a &quot;revert&quot; can be because of something that stressed or continues to stress out the child such as a move, death of a family member, divorce or even something that seems pretty innocuous to us but may not be a big deal to him like a change in baby sitters or a friend moving away.  If you suspect this might be the case, talk to him about it.  Ask what he thinks (he may not be able to really tell you, but ask and listen to his response anyway) be patient, allow the backsliding for a little while and make sure you are giving your little one lots of reassurances and attention.  After a week or two, start what is outlined in the paragraphs above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, with your patience, understanding and caring support this too, shall pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-19T05:16:41.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5605" CreationDate="2012-07-19T13:32:14.843" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If rational explanations don't work to fix the irrational fear, try irrational explanations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Scary stories can be fun, but if they wind up being something that the child (or adult!) worries about excessively, then one possible solution is to make them feel empowered to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One suggestion I've seen that I thought was pretty creative was to get a simple plastic spray bottle, and print up a fancy label from your computer that identifies it as &quot;Monster-b-gone&quot; spray.  You can even come up with an explanation as to how it contains the distilled pheromones of a rare caterpillar that Slender Man finds completely revolting.  The spray can be used both actively (i.e. spray it in his face if you see him), or passively (i.e. spray it around the room or bed to &quot;ward the bad guys off&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The beauty is that the pheromones are invisible and odorless, so you don't actually have to put anything in the bottle, or worry about messes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-07-19T13:32:14.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5617" CreationDate="2012-07-19T20:11:56.670" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has always loved her bath, but coming out... not so much. All the other answers already say enough about wrapping him fast, preheating the towels...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All I want to add is: &lt;strong&gt;have a toy ready that he can play with&lt;/strong&gt; - it'll distract him, and while he's playing you can dry him quite easily without any tears. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1060" LastActivityDate="2012-07-19T20:11:56.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-19T21:00:26.223" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was always very forceful and angry about it, partly because I dislike anyone that says &quot;I can't&quot; and it's my general reaction. For an adult, it's generally a cop-out. For a child, there's a different problem which you may or may not know what it is. Even so, Helping the child is nto always tangible. Like the giving the fish or teaching to fish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Inherently, a 3yo wants to make themselves happy and make you happy. If they make you angry, then you've got their attention and that's most of the battle right there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I don't want to hear 'i can't'. I know you can and you know you can. &lt;em&gt;Now do it.&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean they get to do the thing alone. If they can't actually do it, you're there to &lt;em&gt;assist&lt;/em&gt; when they get to a stumbling block. Then, when finished, even if it was mostly you, the point is that they tried and worked at it. As you reinforce with praise&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;see? we both knew you could do it. well done.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;they'll totally not care that you helped... they'll be more than happy to be a normal 3 yr old and take all the credit!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-07-19T21:00:26.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5641" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5642" CreationDate="2012-07-19T21:26:42.967" Score="4" ViewCount="2169" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-year-old daughter has said &quot;dad&quot; for long time, referring to me. She has already said &quot;mom&quot; couple of times in the past so we know she &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; say it and knows the meaning of it, however no matter how hard we try to make her say &quot;mom&quot;, she will do one of these things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Silent treatment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say &quot;dad&quot; with a glare as if to show us who's the boss.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Just smile and laugh at us.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's not a big deal as she's totally OK with both of us and actually spends more time with her mom than me, however I'm still curious: is this a common or known thing? Does anyone know the meaning behind this, for example maybe she takes her mom for granted thus does not feel the need to call to her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-07-26T14:15:55.600" LastActivityDate="2018-02-21T23:18:02.133" Title="Daughter not saying &quot;mom&quot; even though she can" Tags="|toddler|education|language-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5641" CreationDate="2012-07-20T14:43:18.113" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2yr old son does the same thing with saying daddy from time to time, but we don't try to &quot;make&quot; him say anything. We do regularly prompt him to say things, but we do our best to not appear disappointed when he decides not to say them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that at this age he is going to control the things that he can and his speech is definitely something he knows he can control. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I prompt him to speak a lot, I mean a whole lot, we say bye to cars as they go by, we say hi to strangers in restaurants, we say kitty and doggie every time we see one, I sing silly made up songs to him and every now and then he will sing some babble back at me. But as often as not he will stay silent, sometimes even smiling at me with a glint in his eye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my hopes is that this will give him a feeling of control and make the times when he does not have control less objectionable (even though I am not sure that at this age he will make a complex connection like that). Does that make sense?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2012-07-20T14:43:18.113" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5617" CreationDate="2012-07-20T16:28:04.233" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I struggled at bath time with my children (now 2, 3, and 4) when they were very little.  I found two things to be helpful.  First, before the bath, I would turn the shower head on full hot, full blast for a minute or two with the door closed to fill the room with steam.  That raised the temperature of the bathroom enough for a naked infant to be comfortable before and after the bath.  It doesn't take more than a minute or two to steam up my 6' by 6' bathroom.  I let the hot water go down the drain, and I touched the tub to make sure it wasn't hot.  Then I started the normal bath routine with a warmed bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the bath, I'd take my shirt off, put a diaper on the baby, and then let him/her rest on my chest for a while with a big towel wrapped around both of us.  Google skin-to-skin contact with baby -- it helps calm them, even several months after birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2987" LastActivityDate="2012-07-20T16:28:04.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5641" CreationDate="2012-07-20T17:32:24.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children tend to follow examples almost ridiculously. Do you call your wife &quot;mom&quot;? Does she call you &quot;dad&quot;? Does she call you more often than you, or you call her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case it has helped. I was often called by name, but once my wife switched to daddy, I suddenly became... dad :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1078" LastActivityDate="2012-07-20T17:32:24.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4193" CreationDate="2012-07-22T00:31:30.483" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know where the idea that the behavior isn't dangerous is coming from.  Bark mulch can be very damaging if caught in the eye.  I don't think it likely, but if you talk to the staff and they think this is acceptable behavior, I would change schools honestly.  Outside of that.  It seems there is already some great advice in the other answers already given.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-22T00:31:30.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="443" CreationDate="2012-07-22T01:14:29.760" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child is pretty good with competition (this won't work with kids who are sensitive about not winning things or who don't want to participate in competition)  Have a spitting contest.  I know, as you said, &quot;not a behavior you really want most of the time&quot; BUT there are times for it - you've found one.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practice spitting watermelon seeds and things that do NOT taste good like his toothpaste probably does (explain this behavior is only for really special times like in the bathroom and adult condoned spitting contests).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a family contest in the backyard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, when you know he CAN spit (because now he has gotten help from you, siblings neighbors etc and shown you he's pretty good at it right?), you can use water swishing to help him have enough &quot;stuff&quot; to spit when brushing his teeth - just don't use so much you negate any effects of ongoing protection.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also try making a game out of it like, how long can you brush without swallowing OR spitting?  Brush together and see who &quot;wins&quot;.  If you aren't having a contest, just encourage him to spit more often than you would yourself, use an egg timer to have him spit every 30 seconds or so. . .  Make it fun and silly, he'll laugh, you'll laugh and maybe he'll get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-23T03:30:32.290" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T03:30:32.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1718" CreationDate="2012-07-22T14:17:20.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a very similar problem with our son and his child minder. If your nanny doesn’t already do it I would ask her to keep a diary for a few days detailing what they are doing and how his mood is and how he is reacting to her throughout the day.&#xA;You may pick up on something she is doing or not doing that differs from how you are with him that may be the cause of his frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2990" LastActivityDate="2012-07-22T14:17:20.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="203" CreationDate="2012-07-23T03:52:06.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child is &quot;gifted&quot; you can try looking up &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aegus1.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;AEGUS&lt;/a&gt; (the Association for the Education of the Gifted and Underserved Student) for help advocating for a better situation to suit your child's particular needs as well as educational opportunities about how these kids need a different kind of educational environment than they are often given and how to best help them at home whether you are helping by supplementing a curriculum from a mortar and brick setting or you take them home for homeschooling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also see mention of homeschooling quite a bit above.  In addition to co-ops and the like, there are charter schools that are really organizations that help you school at home.  They often offer a community of support, days and field trips that include chances for kids to get together for cool activities or even to become involved in a school team or choir if the community is large enough.  Sometimes they do this all for free under the umbrella of being a public charter school.  www.k12.com is one that operates internationally and is free in most of the States, but it isn't the only program (its just most would be a lot more localized).  Keywords like &quot;virtual schools,&quot;  &quot;free home-education,&quot; and &quot;public learning centers&quot; (plus the name of your region) should yield resources for your area.  Using this type of system has worked really well for us so far - Mine was reading in third grade and in the fall of her kindergarten year was tested as reading and comprehending at about a 4th - 5th grade level (depending on the test results trusted).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If HS interests you as an option, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5594/2876&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; addresses both common concerns and common problems with homeschooling and has a few articles at the end you can look up for more information about HS studies, options, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T01:25:21.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5649" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5659" CreationDate="2012-07-23T08:14:44.900" Score="11" ViewCount="60102" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My question is:&lt;/strong&gt; Is there any way to soothe a crying baby in the middle of the night other than inserting my pinky?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summery:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pinky method = only successful soothing found&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tried the following other methods without success:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Binkie&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Singing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Holding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Swaddling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My wife and I need to sleep so we can't keep our pinky in the baby's mouth all night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Extra info:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's breast fed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's on a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medela.com/IW/en/breastfeeding/products/phototherapy/bili-bed.html&quot;&gt;bilibed&lt;/a&gt; for jaundice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's 7 days old&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a week old newborn that has been fussing (that word is a gross understatement for the kind of crying she's giving us) for the last few hours (it's now 2 AM) and my wife and I have discovered that she is miraculously soothed by &quot;the pinky method.&quot; It's like a magic button. This is all fine and dandy, however I need to sleep eventually and even when she falls asleep if we try to remove our pinky she notices and begins to fuss all over again. She just spits any binkies out. When she gets really hungry my wife is able to calm her temporarily by feeding her, but it all just goes back to fussing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2928" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T07:59:02.863" Title="What to do when the pinky is the only way to soothe a newborn?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5650" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5651" CreationDate="2012-07-23T08:29:47.173" Score="6" ViewCount="790" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My question is:&lt;/strong&gt; Can we trust that the baby will not starve itself and will eat as much as it needs, or is it a good idea to pump and feed the pumped milk to her from the bottle after the next feeding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;General Info:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Age: 7 days&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feeding method: Breast-fed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gender: Female&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eating status: Pretty good - nurses for about 20 minutes every 2 hours&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife wants to make sure that she's producing enough milk for the baby, so she pumps after feeding the baby so her body will produce more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2928" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T07:43:46.723" Title="Should my wife pump after feeding to &quot;top her off?&quot;" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5650" CreationDate="2012-07-23T09:12:32.503" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did this when we were at the stage because I needed to have a supply for while I was at work.  It is also good to have an &quot;emergency supply&quot; for when you are on outings (separate from baby) etc. but if you have a few days worth already in storage, production is keeping up with baby's need and desire so you aren't needing to supplement, it is probably fine to ease off on the &quot;topping off&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If Mom starts producing too much, it simply just gets uncomfortable.  Most of the time baby's needs tell the body how much to make so that everything is in sinc between baby and mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best person to ask is the Ped or the mother's Ob if there are other related issues going on or to help get ready for a return to work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;La Leche League&quot; is also a very supportive group here in the states that can be a wonderful help to a new mother as well as provide play group friends.  Just do a search for them in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T09:12:32.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3891" CreationDate="2012-07-23T09:59:08.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a great series of board books we used in the preschool that helped with getting discussion and thought started and creating an understanding for our &quot;two's&quot; kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/157542200X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hands are not for Hitting&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1575421283&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Teeth are not for Biting&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might use these as a supplement along with the answer by Torben.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-07-23T14:26:14.097" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T14:26:14.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5660" CreationDate="2012-07-23T12:38:14.740" Score="7" ViewCount="536" Body="&lt;p&gt;Related to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5568/how-can-one-tell-if-an-infant-is-developmentally-advanced&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;, what do you do if you think your child may be gifted?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is very advanced in a number of areas (most notably speaking in 5 and 6 word sentences, and having a tremendous vocabulary, by the time he was 18 months old), and while I understand that it is too early to determine if he's actually gifted, or if he's just ahead in some of his milestones, I don't want to risk missing opportunities for helping him reach his full potential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I absolutely do not want him to be pressured, or pushed into performing beyond what he is comfortable with.  I also do not want to facilitate any rifts between him and his age-appropriate peers (something that, should he prove to be significantly gifted, I fear may happen eventually).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, what is the right balance between encouraging possible giftedness, and avoiding &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hothousing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;hothousing&quot;&lt;/a&gt;?  Are there specific steps that I should take now? Or do I wait until he's older (he'll be 2 in September)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-07-24T00:59:26.000" Title="How do you encourage a toddler that you suspect may be gifted?" Tags="|toddler|education|gifted|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5654" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-07-23T12:42:55.890" Score="0" Body="" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-07-23T12:42:55.890" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T12:42:55.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5655" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-07-23T12:42:55.890" Score="0" Body="Special Education refers to programs and practices that are tailored to assist with a child's specific differences and needs.  Common needs can include communication issues, physical disabilities, developmental disorders, or behavioral disorders." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-07-23T12:42:55.890" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T12:42:55.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5568" CreationDate="2012-07-23T13:04:12.747" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.raisinghappiness.com/&quot;&gt;Raising Happiness&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, identifying your child as &quot;gifted&quot; early in life is not a recipe for success or happiness. Children who develop a growth mindset are happier and more successful than children who develop a goal oriented mindset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue is that children who are praised for their accomplishments rather than their effort develop fear of failure, they don't want to try new things because they are afraid of not being able to do them. So regardless of whether your child is gifted or not, your approach should be the same: Praise them for effort and focus on growth rather than accomplishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What this means if your child &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; particularly gifted is that they will go through new challenges more quickly and it will be harder for you to keep them motivated by finding tasks that are more difficult. What it means if they are &lt;em&gt;below&lt;/em&gt; average at some things is that you'll have to focus on keeping them motivated on tasks that are very difficult for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The entire question of whether gifted children become gifted adults is open to debate. Malcolm Gladwell, author of &quot;Blink&quot;, was a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/getArticle.cfm?id=2026&quot;&gt;gifted runner&lt;/a&gt; as a child, but as an adult was simply average. According to him--and according to most available research--the defining difference between good and great is practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So whether your child is gifted or not, the best way for them to take advantage of the gifts they have is practice, practice, practice. And the worst way to encourage them to practice is to tell them that they have special gifts that make them better, faster, or smarter than their peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T13:04:12.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5653" CreationDate="2012-07-23T14:18:22.127" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest looking to offer up as many resources regarding his interests as you can.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With Alice, we made sure she was surrounded by books and games about words and letters (because she loves reading and decided she was going to learn when she was three).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the specific interests of your child you can play games that will help build upon his talents and interests and be fun for everyone.  Can you speak a little more about your specifics because I might even be able to suggest games or activities that would be pertinent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets older (2nd or 3rd grade or so), if it proves to be true that he remains &quot;ahead of the curve&quot; I really would suggest you look into AEGUS (just do a search) as it seems you are in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T14:18:22.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5649" CreationDate="2012-07-23T21:52:14.070" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all - Hang in there you guys are just at the start...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the answer - If I have read your description correctly, you are inserting your pinky finger into the infants mouth with the pad of your finger to the roof of their mouth - this triggers the infants suckling response &amp;amp; was a GREAT way to calm our kids down when they were tiny.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend two things to try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to remember that AFTER the baby closes their eyes and starts to sleep, you have to keep up whatever you are doing for about 20 minutes in order for them to enter the deepest sleepy cycle - once our kids got there, we could toss 'em up in the air and they wouldn't wake up - that is, if NOTHING else is wrong.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, it is NOT 20 minutes from the time you stick your pinky in their mouth; it is not 20 minutes from the time they calm down - it is 20 minutes from the time they go to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If after your child goes to sleep and you put them down, remove your pinky; they stir and cry - I would think they are hungry - infants who are being breast fed, especially for the first few weeks, will need to eat every 2 to 3 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The best thing my wife and I did, especially since she was breastfeeding, was we had our kids (when they were babies) sleep with us - our kids received a LOT of comfort from that AND when they were hungry, my wife was able to feed them without having to get up, she would tell me that she got to the point where she didn't even remember waking up to feed them because she would just do it in her sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and I hope that is helpful :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2995" LastActivityDate="2012-07-23T21:52:14.070" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5653" CreationDate="2012-07-24T00:59:26.000" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You make sure to praise hard work rather than natural gifts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;You got a good score on that test!  Well done!  We know how hard you worked for that, and we're so proud!&quot; is good, where as &quot;Clever girl!  You're so bright!&quot; is not so good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Young children learn lists: pokemon, dinosaurs, etc.  This is cool, but perhaps learning about the relationships between those animals is better.  Or why some animals are big and slow and have grinding teeth vs some animals that can run fast and have sharp teeth and claws - and then relate that to modern life.  &quot;Cats play with their food, maybe because mice and small birds have sharp teeth and claws and beaks.  If a cat got a scratch on their chin, and it got infected, they'd have a hard time hunting.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow plenty of play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answer their questions!  And if you don't know, teach them that not knowing is fine, and tech them how to look stuff up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2012-07-24T00:59:26.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5649" CreationDate="2012-07-24T03:58:40.217" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried the 5 S's?  It's a sleep technique introduced by Dr. Harvey Karp, and he's made quite an industry out of it (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.happiestbaby.com&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.happiestbaby.com&lt;/a&gt;), with a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.happiestbaby.com/5-ss-system-may-help-colic-symptoms/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;particular page here&lt;/a&gt; that describes all you really need to know.  The method itself is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling: Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support your baby is used to experiencing within the womb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side/stomach position: The infant is placed on their left side to assist in digestion, or on their stomach to provide reassuring support. “But never use the stomach position for putting your baby to sleep,” cautions Karp. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is linked to stomach-down sleep positions. When a baby is in a stomach down position do not leave them even for a moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shushing sounds: These imitate the continual whooshing sound made by the blood flowing through arteries near the womb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swinging: Newborns are used to the swinging motions within their mother’s womb, so entering the gravity driven world of the outside is like a sailor adapting to land after nine months at sea. “It’s disorienting and unnatural,” says Karp. Rocking, car rides, and other swinging movements all can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sucking: “Sucking has its effects deep within the nervous system,” notes Karp, “and triggers the calming reflex and releases natural chemicals within the brain.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've done this with both of our kids, and it works very very well.  I've done it to other people's kids when the parents claim that their baby is too colicky to get to sleep; within about five minutes, the kid's usually unconscious and the parents are amazed.  You can buy the dvd and the book if you like, but the list I provided above is pretty much what those products contain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a picture of me putting my son to sleep:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/bl0IF.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Putting Thomas To Sleep&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's in a swaddler, he's got a pacifier in his mouth (though I did use a pinkie for a while too), he's held in a side lie, I'm practically yelling 'sssshhhh' into his ear, and rocking gently.  Out like a light ten seconds after the photo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-07-24T03:58:40.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1550" CreationDate="2012-07-24T10:58:34.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As for &quot;what else&quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach them that there's nothing shameful about carrying condoms. That carrying condoms doesn't mean they'll definitely be using them. And that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; (Dad) won't assume that they're having sex just because they take condoms with them when they're out. Yes, this is my story - I was a fairly convinced Christian back then, and it was unthinkable (to me) that I'd have sex out of wedlock. Help your children out with plausible deniability if they need it: if you give them condoms, tell them it's okay to dispose of them if they aren't going to use them, that you aren't going to demand to know when and where and with whom (if anyone at all) they used them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mainstream narrative seems to be that teenagers are a bunch of gung-ho libidinous hormone bags with no concept of risk and consequences. But some are thoughtful, restrained and risk-averse - and it's alienating to them when you treat them as if they were the stereotype. The Condom Talk is one instance where this can happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach them how to find reliable information about condoms, and about sex in general, for themselves, and not from their peers (good for entertaining anecdotes, but not for facts). For themselves, because they might not be comfortable asking you. This might include knowing how to judge which websites give reliable info, or how to pick a random adult to ask (teacher: maybe good, doctor: good, taxi driver: bad). Kudos to you if your relationship with your kids is open enough that they feel comfortable getting their info from you, but prepare them also not to be dependent solely on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Live demo on an object seems like an obvious must-have, in hindsight. I know I'd have been mortified if my parents had given me such a demo, but I now also know it would have been the right thing to do. We didn't have sex ed in school back then, so that avenue wasn't available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have mentioned, teach them about compatibility of materials. Show them a gross gooey old elastic band as an example of what happens to certain materials when exposed to some substances, light, or just time. Also that some people are allergic to this or to that, and that polyurethane condoms exist, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heck, teach them about &lt;em&gt;statistics&lt;/em&gt;, and that it's impossible to eliminate risk entirely from life. That condoms sometimes fail, and why they do, and whether and what second (or are these third?) lines of defence to use. That in some cases it's &quot;game over&quot; if the condom fails: as yet there's no cure for some number of STDs. That, despite all of this, humans take risks all the time, and are on the whole better off for it. And how to tell what risks are worth taking, and under what conditions one is more or less able to make such a choice rationally. Hint: while being drunk or sexually excited are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; good conditions. Maybe you could even add in a bit of evolutionary biology: how the entire organism (including its mind) is built with one goal in mind&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;: making copies of genes. What a powerful adversary this is for a mere condom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1] Evolution has no &quot;goal&quot; and no &quot;mind&quot;. Apply as-if rule here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2999" LastActivityDate="2012-07-24T10:58:34.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-24T18:44:32.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our four year old is, thankfully, emerging from that phase. Here is how I dealt with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First I would tackle whether it's a want issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it that you can't or that you don't &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to do it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've had quite a bit of success getting an honest answer from that question and clarifying the issue tends to calm them down. Then proceed to the encouragement. We got this tip from his pre-school teacher. Basically you offer to help once they help themselves a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'd like to see you start putting your shoes on. You do one and then I'll do the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a lot of success with that one. Often times he would put on both shoes without another word. As with all tricks kids start to see through these eventually but it was a great way to move the process along. It's to the point now where he either does it himself or politely asks for help. I'll take this over an &quot;I can't!&quot; tantrum any day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2873" LastActivityDate="2012-07-24T18:44:32.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5666" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-25T00:49:57.173" Score="14" ViewCount="14617" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was born by caesarean section, although my wife and I really wanted our son born vaginally. My wife's friend has had two successful vaginal births. She wants the third child to be born by caesarean section. This is just because delivery by caesarean section is simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation makes me very curious about what the differences actually are between a child who was delivered vaginally and a child delivered by caesarean section. I heard from others that children from vaginal births have more resilient bodies and are smarter than children who were born by caesarean section. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are these claims scientifically proven? Are there really any differences? Good references would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T17:21:58.393" LastActivityDate="2020-02-12T12:01:42.680" Title="What are the differences between a child who was born vaginally versus via caesarean section?" Tags="|development|birth|c-section|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2012-07-25T04:05:38.127" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also think it depends on your living situation. For our family, our unit doesn't have laundry so at $2 a load to wash and then $2 to try it is not even close. I even used a cloth vs disposable diaper calculator to test out my theory and I am correct &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.groceryalerts.ca/cloth-vs-disposable-diaper-calculator/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.groceryalerts.ca/cloth-vs-disposable-diaper-calculator/&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming cost of 20 cents per disposable diaper (can be cheaper with coupons), and $2 for laundry and $2 for a dryer,  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Total Cost for Cloth Diapers:&#xA;$2287.43&#xA;Total Cost for Disposable Diapers:&#xA;$1280.79&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3000" LastActivityDate="2012-07-25T04:05:38.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5666" CreationDate="2012-07-25T09:22:09.013" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;While there are a wide range of articles about the benefits of vaginal birth, which appear to include better expulsion of fluid from the lungs, better immune response in childhood and so on, there doesn't seem to be any definite medical proof. Have a look at this unresolved &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/q/9994/619&quot;&gt;question over on Skeptics&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There doesn't appear to be any indication that children born through vaginal childbirth are any smarter, either. After the initial childhood stages it doesn't appear to be possible to identify which individuals were Caesarian or natural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Caesarian sections do have a major effect &lt;strong&gt;on the mother&lt;/strong&gt;, however - major abdominal surgery means the mother can't lift things, drive, or even move easily for many weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2012-07-26T17:10:47.587" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2012-07-25T10:16:39.370" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents always inspired us to spend all of December in a Christmas Spirit. We volunteered and gave away old toys. My mom tricked me by saying that the toys would be given to other kids, by Santa. If we wanted him to bring us great toys we had to take care of the old ones. If we ruined our toys he would bring us stuff other kids ruined. It did mean my stuff lasted longer though, so I am much better at taking care of my belongings today and I'm not a hoarder because I know it feels better to give something you've cared for away than to keep it even when you stop using it. The lies my parents told actually made me a much more creative person. I didn't grow up with my head in the clouds, though I visit up there and it's helped me so much with my career. So don't worry about 'should my child still believe...' &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone wants to treat their kids like tiny adults, even through the greatest inventors and creative minds say the best thing that ever happened was no one putting limitations in their minds. Kids want to believe they can fly to the stars in a cardboard box? What are you going to do? Tell them about physics and density and the atmosphere and what happens when all the chemicals we need to live are suddenly absent in a vacuum; or are you going to buy them a box? We would never have gotten to the moon if everyone had been told it wasn't possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my best advice as a child who grew up and has been a part of over six thousand children's lives: Let them believe. It's fun for both sides and you're rarely going to encounter a kid who says 'my mom and dad LIED to me about Santa! I hate them for that.&quot; You are giving them presents after all. Almost 1/4th of the kids I work with say they knew Santa was not real around the age of 6 or 7 (a few knew at around the age of as early as 4 and as late as 9. Both groups seemed to be similar in development and intelligence, the difference was in their parents' ability to keep the fantasy going and how curious the kids were about meeting Santa) but kept pretending to believe because it got them toys and it was fun to kind of counter their parents. A sort of mine battle with their parents, where there was no fighting and no real winner or loser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents: &quot;Tell Santa what you want for Christmas.&quot; &#xA;Child: &quot;What?! He didn't get my letter?&quot;&#xA;Parents: Er... not yet. Tell him again. &#xA;Child: Okay! I want the stuff I didn't get last year. You have your list, right?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a fun game. For me, I respected my mom and dad more because of what they went through to keep the game going, and I saw them more as people rather than authority figures because it was a time when they would not tell me &quot;Because I said so...&quot; They couldn't just say Santa did something because they said so. They had to get creative about it and think up explanations that a child could understand.&#xA;It was so much fun to hear their explanations! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;How do reindeer fly?&quot; &#xA;&quot;The reindeer don't fly. They just control the direction. The sled and the straps are made of star dust, and you know how everything floats in space, right? The sleigh and even the reindeer's shoes are all made of stardust...&quot; &#xA;I can still see him trying to find a story a child would understand all the while he's actually a physicist who had to go back to work in 9 days and teach college Juniors and Seniors about how nothing he told me was true at all. My mom was an engineer though, and she came up with the most amazing explanations. She actually had me back on the fence of if I believed or not for awhile. My brother is autistic and he stopped believing at around 8 years old, be immediately teamed up with my parents. No hurt feelings or loss of trust. He's a smart kid, he just dissolves into his own world sometimes. Trying to keep the Santa myth alive was actually really good for him. He actually felt like an older brother and would talk more. It was amazing, actually. If someone tried to tell my sister or I that Santa wasn't real, my brother could often get his thoughts back into the real world and tell that kid to back off or get punched (my mom and dad are 5'11 and 6'3... my brother towered over everyone and he liked super heroes so he mimicked them sometimes.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have fun with it and your kids will do the same, but understand that around the age of 7 they usually know the truth. If you're creative enough to have them believe longer, then just keep playing! It's not like they'll get to 6th grade and still believe in Santa. You say your kids treat Santa like a real person, and that's fine. There is a chance that someone at their school will have parents who didn't teach their kids to respect the beliefs of others, and they'll be crying and ask you if Santa is real. Best thing to do is tell them about the real Santa and how it honors him to pretend and that is why many parents do that- to keep the memory of a great man alive. So is there an age? Yeah, 7-ish, but it's not a rule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3001" LastEditorUserId="3001" LastEditDate="2012-07-25T10:42:18.150" LastActivityDate="2012-07-25T10:42:18.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5671" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5674" CreationDate="2012-07-26T05:53:41.103" Score="10" ViewCount="75135" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a newborn (10 days). She seems to struggle with a lot of gas several times a day (first question, is this too much!?). How do we help her pass the gas more quickly and easily? She does get it out eventually, but we feel kinda helpless. We have tried moving her legs and pressing them against her abdominal muscles, but that doesn't seem to really do the trick. Any tips? It seems to cause her a bit of pain. Oh, and for more info, she's breastfed and her stools are mustard yellow and not really very solid. She has several stool diapers a day as well as wet ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2928" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-07-26T14:12:27.710" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T16:53:01.383" Title="How to help my newborn pass gas" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|feeding|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5672" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5673" CreationDate="2012-07-26T05:58:10.507" Score="13" ViewCount="64252" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our boy loses interest in any activity - playing with toys /playing with us/mock singing/you-name-it very soon&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only exception is watching TV (which can go on for 30 minutes uninterrupted) and he now throws all his toys or anything we give him and points at the TV with remote in hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas on how to engage his attention longer with other tasks ? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE:&lt;/strong&gt; I'm still receiving good answers to this question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is now 26 months old and we have migrated to new challenges :) &#xA;Primarily what worked through the earlier months was getting him to explore stuff by himself and bore himself once in a while. The other thing that worked for us - was joining a toy library nearby - so we realized some of his likes/dislikes as far as toys are concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1246" LastEditorUserId="1246" LastEditDate="2013-08-04T08:03:14.750" LastActivityDate="2017-12-01T11:59:50.427" Title="How can I keep a 14 month old busy at some activity for longer than 3 minutes" Tags="|toddler|activities|television|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2012-07-26T10:37:23.213" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 14 month old will have a short attention span - letting him watch the TV might seem like a pain free solution, but it generally is considered to actually make things worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should do is plan for a lot of engaging activities - almost simultaneously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example sitting with him on the floor surrounded by a range of different toys which do different things (eg some squeak, some are crushable, some rattle, some come to pieces, some fit inside others) and as he discards one, grab another. You can revisit ones already discarded etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important factor is that you are a part of this - talking, playing with your son, and engaging with him throughout. If you have some soft, coloured balls, throw them to him - they may not be caught, but at that age many kids like to try, even if they end up having most of them bounce off their nose/hands etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he does get too bored of that, try flying him round the room in your arms, sitting him on your shoulders...this is a high effort part of parenting, which does get easier, but right now you steer everything they do so you should plan for &lt;strong&gt;being the entertainment&lt;/strong&gt; as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-26T10:37:23.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5671" CreationDate="2012-07-26T11:35:44.503" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anecdotal evidence from my baby (Now 9 weeks):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your Diaper &amp;amp; Stool issues are perfectly normal.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The Wiggling of legs is supposed to help, a little side to side motion should help&#xA;also. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look up &quot;Baby Massage&quot; to help her relax. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The Babies internal plumbing is still getting started. Dont expect things to run perfectly straight away!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If in doubt consult a Doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3007" LastActivityDate="2012-07-26T11:35:44.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5671" CreationDate="2012-07-26T13:35:42.560" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may be obvious except to new parents, but &lt;strong&gt;make sure to burp the baby&lt;/strong&gt; after every feeding. Some babies also need to be burped once or twice during feeding. The point is to get the air out of the stomach before it goes into the intestines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby massage is also often helpful: gently rub the belly in a circular motion; clockwise when facing the baby. This helps move the bowels in the proper direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-07-26T13:35:42.560" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2012-07-26T13:41:19.513" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am guessing that he is used to TV and demands it because everything else is slow and boring in comparison. If that's the case, you have to get him away from that preference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO, you should wean him off the television. A big bright flashing active screen is not good for a small child; it's sort of a sensory overload because they can't grasp what's going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is going to have to learn that he must entertain himself - no toy will entertain him for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;To see some arguments against television, see these questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3769/is-tv-harmful-to-my-infants-development&quot;&gt;Is TV harmful to my infant&amp;#39;s development?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2607/is-there-any-consensus-among-researchers-concerning-the-effects-of-watching-tele&quot;&gt;Is there any consensus among researchers concerning the effects of watching television and the likes for a child&amp;#39;s development?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3/at-what-age-should-a-child-be-introduced-to-the-television&quot;&gt;At what age should a child be introduced to the Television?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/television&quot;&gt;Other questions tagged &quot;television&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-07-27T12:57:30.073" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3014" CreationDate="2012-07-28T16:27:34.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, My mom won't let me wear make up....&#xA;I only wear lipgloss/lip stick and mascara. I am 14 by the way:)&#xA;I think it's okay, depending on how much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;12: Mascara,lipgloss&#xA;13: mascara,lipgloss,concealer&#xA;14-16: LIGHT eyeshadow,brown eyeliner, mascara lipgloss,&#xA;17 and up let them experiment!!!!!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3011" LastActivityDate="2012-07-28T16:27:34.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5678" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-28T23:51:17.663" Score="23" ViewCount="6317" Body="&lt;p&gt;There was a similar question to this one on moms4mom.com but I had trouble finding it earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I were raised Catholic, but neither of us believe any more. We have two daughters, and I'd like to raise them with morals without constantly breaking out the Bible or Catechism. I'm currently reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0814474268&quot;&gt;Parenting Beyond Belief&lt;/a&gt;, but I'm looking for suggestions as to strategies or methods for teaching solid moral foundations without reliance upon specific religious materials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3012" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:10:01.007" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T22:54:45.537" Title="How do you teach morals and values in non-religious households?" Tags="|religion|morals|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-29T06:44:35.077" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Much of what the Dalai Lama has written provides wonderful guidelines for living and for being a human being, without tying into any particular religion (even his own). His new book &lt;em&gt;Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World&lt;/em&gt; proposes a secular ethics which aims to go beyond religion (or be independent of it). I also found his &lt;em&gt;The Art of Happiness&lt;/em&gt; very compelling. In this book, he cites &lt;strong&gt;compassion&lt;/strong&gt; as the most important value. A virtue that quite naturally follows from compassion is &#xA;&lt;strong&gt;tolerance&lt;/strong&gt;, which incidentally forms one of the founding pillars of Dutch society. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2012-07-29T08:00:19.053" LastActivityDate="2012-07-29T08:00:19.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5680" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6971" CreationDate="2012-07-29T08:00:58.190" Score="19" ViewCount="63604" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3rd child was just born and I've discovered fitting the seats for all my children into the car is a real problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest child is using a booster, my middle child a car seat and the new baby is still in an infant carrier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My car is a large compact (Citroen C3 Picasso), and the 3 seats only physically fit in the car if I use the seat belt (and not the ISOFIX/LATCH system) to secure the car seat - even then the 3 seats completely cover the entire car back seat and there's no way to get to the seat belt for the booster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also tried with my parent's car that is a roomy family car (Hyundai I30 CW) and have the same problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried putting the baby carrier in the front seat but this didn't work because we need to also fit two adults in the car (and putting the 2nd adult in back between 2 seats isn't practical)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what's the standard solution for this problem, how can I get two adults and 3 children into the car safely, reasonably comfortably and legally? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there special narrow car seat models? I've seen seat belt extenders on the internet, are they safe? is there anything else I'm missing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's assume I don't have the money to get a bigger car right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2418" LastActivityDate="2017-11-30T11:03:24.897" Title="How to fit 3 children car seats into the back of a car" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-29T18:55:56.103" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;You raise them with morals by being good parents and instilling your own values upon them. Morals don't require some form of sanctioned text books. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-07-29T18:55:56.103" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2012-07-30T02:53:05.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just a small tip, big lollypops keep my 2 year old son busy (quiet) for a good 45 minutes. Also a gadgety thing to hold is good. My son loved his sister's pink sparkly hand fan to open and close. DVD players are mandatory, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3016" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T02:53:05.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5683" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5696" CreationDate="2012-07-30T03:01:01.507" Score="6" ViewCount="17365" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have clothes that are 3 months and I have clothes that are 3-6 months. Are they equivalent? is there equivalency between sizes that are given as a single number vs ones that are given as a range?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2858" LastActivityDate="2023-08-02T12:43:43.957" Title="What's the difference between baby clothes that say X months and clothes that say X-Y months?" Tags="|clothes|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-30T03:20:51.797" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a problem that I've faced as well. While it is simple enough to say that if you yourself encourage good morals, your kids will model good morals, it is also important to have the support of a community behind you. If nothing else, you will be competing against communities when your children are older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I decided to join the local unitarian church for precisely this reason. While any number of children's book emphasize the values we like--sharing, compassion, hard work, and so forth--organized groups such as churches or charities show those values in action and provide a group of role models of various ages for your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that as far as teaching morals, you can't go wrong with modeling good behavior and pointing it out in any books you read or activities you engage in, but your children will benefit from seeing those values in action far more than from discussing them in the abstract.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T03:20:51.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-30T04:36:37.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds as though you're going through something I went through a little while ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About 8 years back, I thought I wouldn't have children.  &quot;I wouldn't know how to raise them&quot;, I thought, I hadn't yet completely broken with religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally the day came when I recycled all but one copy of the scripture (I used to have.. 6 or 7.  I was nuts).  Finally, I was free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the whole question becomes &lt;strong&gt;what do you believe&lt;/strong&gt;?  What do you want them to have that you missed?  What do you want them to also miss that you missed because of your religious upbringing?  (A lot of experimentation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think about it, religion &lt;em&gt;doesn't&lt;/em&gt; do all that much but give people a bigger stick to shake.  Your kids won't necessarily listen to you just because &lt;em&gt;religion&lt;/em&gt;.  But really, you don't need that stick.  You need rules, and ways to enforce those rules, including punishments, etc. You just need to truly hold your child's best interests at heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short of it is &lt;strong&gt;you have to figure out what you believe&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;em&gt;When&lt;/em&gt; should they be allowed dating.  Why or why not?  Do your research.  And sort this out with your husband. It can be fun. Figure out the rules and play it by ear.  You'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T04:36:37.323" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5683" CreationDate="2012-07-30T06:20:25.703" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience, clothes that are X-Y are usually more towards the Y, meaning too big for X months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bought our daughter clothes for 1-2 years when she was year and half it for couple of months it was really loose on her - she has average build, not slender or anything. Now that she is 2 years old those clothes still fit, but pretty tight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So unofficially I would say that X-Y clothes are bigger than X, although not sure what's the idea behind it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T06:20:25.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5683" CreationDate="2012-07-30T09:00:37.830" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The 3-6 months tend to be sized to fit up to 6 months, and the 3 months ones are sized roughly for 2-4 months. I would tend to treat the single age as the centre of a range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the clothes we bought (in the UK) I would treat these sizes as a very rough guide, though. Different vendors produce clothes of wildly differing sizes all described as the same so try clothes from the next size above and below and don't be afraid to get clothes that are too big, otherwise you will get to the end of the year and find stacks of clothes they never wore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T09:00:37.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5690" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5756" CreationDate="2012-07-30T10:01:29.100" Score="10" ViewCount="189100" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year-old seems to have lost her appetite in the last 3 to 4 weeks: she eats very little at meal times (couple of mouthfuls) and definitely much less than she used to. She does not seem to be ill, sleeps well at night and nap times, has plenty of energy to run around and is generally happy. The only changes I have noticed is that she seems a little more clingy and moody than she used to. She has lost some weight (over 10% of her body mass - she was in the 25% in the curves, and has always been there, and so is now in the 10%).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I expect it is normal that appetite and weight somewhat fluctuate so would like to know at what point one should worry about this and seek medical advice (e.g. signs to look for, a % weight loss that gets too significant, a prolonged period of time, etc.)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1408" LastActivityDate="2017-08-06T08:47:35.597" Title="When should you worry about a toddler's loss of appetite and weight?" Tags="|toddler|weight|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5690" CreationDate="2012-07-30T10:27:16.053" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent of a child the same age if I were in your situation I'd take her to the doctor now. A 10% weight loss in a child plus a loss of appetite for more than a couple of days is something you should address right away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T10:27:16.053" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2012-07-30T10:29:47.953" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out Kiddy car seats (www.kiddy.de), they are meant to be buckled in rather than put in a fixed base so they can be shifted around easily, and they have a good safety rating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T10:29:47.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5671" CreationDate="2012-07-30T10:39:23.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with @Torben, it's much easier to prevent the baby from getting too gassy in the first place by burping as once the baby has gotten gassy there's not much you can do to help them get it out. There are some remedies you can try to help the baby burp better like infocol and dentinox (in the UK, not sure about other places) and these may work, but it's much more about technique and persistence. My first child took up to 45 minutes to get a burp out of using every known and some invented techniques while my second one takes 45 seconds and I don't even have to try! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I've had good luck with infant probiotics in aiding digestion, but really burping is the key. It takes time with some children so be patient and &lt;strong&gt;get yourself comfortable&lt;/strong&gt;. Set yourself up on a comfortable spot with some cushions and settle in as long as it takes. Think of it less as a chore and more as some cuddle time between you and your child. Good luck and enjoy as before you know it they're walking and talking! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T10:39:23.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5690" CreationDate="2012-07-30T11:07:35.107" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When to worry about weight loss:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the child is already low in the weight chart.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the child shows signs of sickness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the child is not feeling well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the child is apathetic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Feel free to add more here! Just click the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; link.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T11:07:35.107" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-07-30T11:07:35.107" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-30T11:38:48.530" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my mind, it's not really about religion or beliefs; &lt;strong&gt;it's about values&lt;/strong&gt; and you surely have values regardless of what you (not) believe in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not religious and I don't use a book or a spokesperson to tell me what is right and wrong, and why. I have a &quot;gut feeling,&quot; an inner sense that directs me. Most of this is totally obvious and straightforward to me; if you question me why I think that stealing is bad, it's simple for me to explain. For simple things, I often exaggerate the idea to make the consequences evident: &lt;em&gt;Picking 1 chewing gum isn't going to harm the store, but what if every single customer did that?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some issues are more delicate, or have a bigger grey zone -- &lt;em&gt;when are you old enough to (insert activity X here), when is abortion justified, etc.&lt;/em&gt; -- and this is where you can have solid, grown-up discussions with other people (and especially your spouse and children) to discover alternate points of view and arguments for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a non-religious environment, morals and values are based on the effect of the consequences. So &lt;strong&gt;the resources you are looking for&lt;/strong&gt; are activities that can uncover these consequences. You can start out softly with discussions and ramp it up into statistics, demographics, studies, and whatever scientific approaches seem appropriate or applicable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T11:38:48.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5683" CreationDate="2012-07-30T14:19:40.130" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The X months sizing system for baby clothes is far from accurate.  Cloths of the same supposed size (say, all 3 months) from different manufacturers or different styles can vary dramatically in actual size.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then there's the fact that there is no standard size for a 3 month old baby.  My 12 month old fits snugly in 18mo clothing.  And my friend's 12mo old fits nicely in 9mo clothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main difference between cloths that say 3mo and ones that say 3-6mo is that the company admits they don't know how old of a baby it will really fit, but think it's probably in that range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3021" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T14:19:40.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-30T14:28:10.037" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think one of the main benefits of religion is that it gives you an &lt;em&gt;external&lt;/em&gt; framework to help determine what is the right course of action that isn't susceptible to your own personal whims and changing desires.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be attained by other means if you are not religious.  I am Catholic but I also tend to go by a coda loosely based on &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deontological_ethics&quot;&gt;deontology&lt;/a&gt; and Kant's categorical imperatives:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Act only according to that maxim by which you can also will that it would become a universal law.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Act in such a way that you always treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never simply as a means, but always at the same time as an end.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When teaching my kids, I word this along the lines of &quot;What is the rule you are going by?  What if everyone followed that rule?  How would the world look?  Do you want to live in a world like that?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, say one of my kids stole something from their siblings.  I would probably say something like &quot;You took that from your brother. Is that an ok thing to do?&quot;  &quot;How did he react?&quot;  &quot;How would you react if he did that to you?&quot;  &quot;What would happen if everyone was constantly going around taking other people's stuff and people were reacting like that?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T14:28:10.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-30T14:29:34.853" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are having difficulty because you were raised in a religion that used scripture to support moral learning, and now having turned away from religion—but not necessarily your values—you feel you need an equivalent in order to teach your children appropriate behavior.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may help you to think of religion in a more secular form: religion can be thought of as a social formation in which a community has agreed to appropriate behavior through the interpretation of scripture.  When learning social rules (or when one is chastised by the community), scripture is used to demonstrate the community-sanctioned behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do this without necessarily using scripture.  You can involve your children in it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Write down your household law.  This should include everything that is non-negotiable, for instance, &quot;We treat everyone with respect and kindness. We help each other. We share and take turns. We listen when others are talking. When we can't resolve disputes with words, we bring the issue to Mommy. We do not hit unless we are in mortal peril. We do not yell unless we are in mortal peril.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discuss these rules with your kids (if they are old enough). Talk about &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; these things are important.  Not because it says so in the Bible, although obviously you can use it if you choose, but because these rules provide fairness and justice to every family member.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Post the rules somewhere they can be seen, like a wall or refrigerator.  Talk about examples of rule infractions, discuss alternative courses of action, and praise them when they apply the rules and &lt;em&gt;most especially&lt;/em&gt; when they apply the reasoning behind the rules.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't need a book or &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceiling_Cat#Ceiling_Cat_and_Basement_Cat&quot;&gt;Ceiling Cat&lt;/a&gt; to justify your values.  As a parent, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are your child's highest moral authority. As Thackeray said, &quot;Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But hey, no pressure, right?  We all just do the best we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T14:29:34.853" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-30T15:50:39.523" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the only difference teaching morals as a non-religious parent is that you explain the reason FOR the moral, too.  Religious parents may or may not.  You don't just do onto your neighbor as you'ld have him do to you.  You do it so everybody stays happy and nobody cries.  It doesn't have to be just &quot;because Jesus said so&quot; or &quot;it's written in...&quot;.  There are very common sense reasons for all the morals people have come up with over the ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in all cases, you need to LIVE those morals.  Don't tell the child to put away the toys if you're not willing to get up off your butt and help him.  Or if you're not willing to keep the house clean yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also nothing WRONG with SHOWing the kid the bible or whatever book, either.  There's actually some pretty good stuff in Song of Solomon and a few other spots.  There's some total junk, too, (virginity, dowries and stuff) but that's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with all things religious, your child will eventually need to decide for himSELF whether to be religious or not.  Although, in my opinion, I just don't understand how you can expect all that stuff to be absolutely true when enough of it has been proven false enough, that you can tell it was made up by man.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a grandpa now, so i have some experience in this matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3022" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T15:50:39.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5700" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5707" CreationDate="2012-07-30T19:23:35.970" Score="20" ViewCount="80298" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I do not have kids of my own yet, so this is more of a curiosity question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd met some kids via online gaming who were ages 13 or so, and swearing quite skillfully. I think in appropriate situations swear words enhance the language, and my fiancée and I tend to use rather colorful expressions. However, I also find that hearing small children curse without full understanding the meaning of the words is disturbing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When should I allow a child to swear? How do I know they understand exactly what they're saying? What can I do to ensure they're aware of the offensive meaning and will not use the language where not appropriate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This question is similar to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2185/why-are-parents-so-concerned-about-profanity-around-their-children&quot;&gt;Why are parents so concerned about profanity around their children?&lt;/a&gt; but addresses &quot;When&quot; and not &quot;Why&quot;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2141" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2018-01-01T23:17:48.007" Title="When should I allow a child to swear?" Tags="|behavior|age-appropriate|profanity|" AnswerCount="16" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5701" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-07-30T20:42:10.697" Score="26" ViewCount="38414" Body="&lt;p&gt;Multiple times during the day, we have our 4 year old take a break from playing to clean up her toys. It's a huge battle every time. Usually, she ends up on the ground saying that there are too many toys, she's too tired, her feet hurt, she's itchy, her throat hurts, etc. There is no end to the excuses for why she can't clean up. We make promises (e.g. we can do fun things if you clean up) and threats (e.g. read one book at bedtime instead of two). We follow through on the promises and threats, but the struggle is taxing on everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taking toys away. This causes tears, but does not motivate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praising when she does pick up toys. Still, the battles continue.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yelling. You can guess the efficacy of this one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chore chart. She gets a sticker when she does her job. She ends up getting the sticker, but only because we have hounded her for a long time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cleaning up with her, but only cleaning when she helps. Sometimes effective.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Other ideas to little effect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toys are just one example of something we have to routinely do throughout the day that grows into something much more contentious than it really should be. Other regular battles are washing her hands, getting dressed, sitting on the potty, etc. The stress is bleeding into other areas of our life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we get our 4 year old to do what we ask without the fight?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3023" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-08T11:15:58.417" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T10:53:27.217" Title="How can I get my 4 year old to clean up toys without a battle?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|cleaning|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-07-30T21:31:06.343" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It helps if cleaning is a standard part of every activity rather than a big event. For example, you can make a rule that she can't play with a new toy until the previous toys are put away. If she can't grab a new toy until she's cleaned up, then she only has to clean up one toy at a time. If she isn't already in the habit of cleaning up, it may take her a little while to get used to the new expectations, but if you're consistent, then cleaning up will become &quot;normal&quot; for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2385" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T21:31:06.343" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-07-30T21:40:45.840" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Taking toys away...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;have the tears caused the return of those toys?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try making sure they don't come back, after giving fair warning. At some point he'll get it. But you have to be tough and not fall victim to his tears.. .kids are great at making us feel guilty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T21:40:45.840" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-07-30T22:09:52.843" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;With our 3.5 year old son, we do this by making sure he knows that he won't get to do the next thing until he puts away his toys.  Want to watch TV?  Put away your toys.  Want to eat some snack food?  Put away toys.  Play hide and seek (his favorite game) or get thrown onto the bed?  Put away your toys.  Once he believed us, that he wasn't going to get away with not putting away his toys, then he started doing it on his own.  The first few times you put your foot down, there will be a struggle, unless you can make it into a game (ie, &quot;I can only play hide and seek with little girls who put away their toys....&quot; etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, my wife spent a great deal of time putting everything into its own separate bin.  This organization helped him make sense of all the toys he had available to him, and also gave him a clear spot where to put everything back.  Just throwing everything into a closet wasn't enough guidance; if he got the toy from a specific spot, he wanted to put it away in that same spot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you're doing all of these things.  Honestly, there's a big difference between saying you want something (&quot;Honey, please clean up your toys.&quot;) and offering a choice with a clear consequence (&quot;Honey, if you do not clean up your toys by the time the timer goes off, I'm going to put them in the garage until Saturday.&quot;)  With the second, she has a clear idea of what to expect.  If she really doesn't care about her toys, she won't complain about them going into the box until Saturday.  If she doesn't notice that they are gone for that entire time, you could consider just giving them to Goodwill or your local charity, and your cleanup problem gets solved more permanently.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time you offer her the clear consequence, she will not do anything.  She will not believe that you are willing to do anything, if you've been using yelling as a motivational technique rather than action.  Once she sees that you're doing the action-- putting the toys in the garage (or wherever)-- she might flip out.  But that's because you've changed the tune; you've just skipped right to doing something about behavior you dislike, rather than just talking about behavior you dislike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="2423" LastEditDate="2012-11-29T18:15:39.177" LastActivityDate="2012-11-29T18:15:39.177" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2012-07-30T22:26:17.553" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why would you ever let your kids swear - even as adults we know that many people are offended, and so even though I may swear in certain select groups, my default behaviour is to never swear and I am generally surprised when I hear others swear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children should have no reason to swear (adults shouldn't have any reason to swear, but we figure once you are your own responsibility fair enough, as long as you don't harm others) so I would answer your question with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Never&lt;/strong&gt; - my kids know swearing happens, and they have heard all the words at school, but they know that if we hear them swearing before they are 18 they will be in serious trouble!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-07-30T22:26:17.553" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-30T22:29:55.817" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think non-religious households teach morals in  much more understandable way than religious households. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Religion says&lt;/strong&gt; - you do x because god/scripture/prophet/whoever says you must, and if you don't you will be punished after death. Some of the rules may actually be unethical or immoral by other religions - which can cause problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lack of religion says&lt;/strong&gt; - understand the right thing to do and treat others accordingly. You may not get the same treatment back, but you would hope you would. This behaviour should not cause problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, the effect should be the same - we should be nice to each other, be non-judgemental, supportive, loving and kind, no matter what religion someone may or may not have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-07-31T07:01:29.513" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T07:01:29.513" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2012-07-31T02:24:23.877" Score="20" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When should I allow a child to swear? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you feel like you should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's really the only valid answer, as it's an extremely personal decision each parent will make on their own. Along with that comes the whole issue of what is a swear word vs. which is not along with context. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think most would say, in general, parents will frown upon swearing as long as the child lives with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T02:24:23.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-31T03:13:40.537" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start with the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Rule&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;golden rule&lt;/a&gt; and take it from there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pretty much everything comes down to explaining the effects of the childs actions on others, or dealing with the emotional effects of others actions on the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially you are finding it hard to do this without reference to religious text as it normally takes the form of  &quot;do X or suffer the consequences&quot;. Without that unilateral declaration of correct behaviour your are moving the conversation with your child from &quot;obey&quot; to &quot;think&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have had this conversation when our children turn up with other childrens toys. Getting them to think of how they would feel if a toy was taken from them seemed much more natural then an admonishment that &quot;we do not take other peoples things&quot;. It also leads nicely into a conversation on how they can remedy thier mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T03:13:40.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2012-07-31T03:25:01.820" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is unfortunately a really subjective at what point to let them do this. Especially the online gaming sub-culture has a level of profanity and outright abuse that would be unacceptable in any other social situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our family breaks the issue down into words that are unacceptable in any circumstances (this changes as the kids get older) and words (also tone and attitude) that are unacceptable to direct at another. So this latter category has much stricter rules than the former (but is also easier to justify).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also don't let them play online as I cannot control who they are interacting with and don't yet want to have to explain T-bagging or any other numerous terms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T03:25:01.820" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="637" CreationDate="2012-07-31T03:43:44.113" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would continue to limit access to the drug until the child is able to demonstrate that they are capable of making the decision themselves. That implies that they know about caffeine, what it does and the cost of the drinks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no benefit to having a drug tolerance as that just implies they have used it enough to require extra quantities for an effect. Caffiene has such a mild effect that physiological preparation for it seems... unnecessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T03:43:44.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2012-07-31T06:03:27.253" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I swore worse than a navy gunner in high school, but I feel that it restricted my opportunities in the past. I know kids will be around swearing in school but I don't want them to think I feel it is OK because kids at school swear. When we watch movies I make them say &quot;Don't say bad words&quot; to the TV to get them into the habit of being aware of it and that I am not OK with it. If they don't say it, I stop the movie. This way, even if they do end up swearing in high school, at least they will be more aware of the fact that some people are not accepting of it and they can turn it off in situations that they should not be swearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T06:03:27.253" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5650" CreationDate="2012-07-31T09:35:06.753" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;One really good thing about breastfeeding is that children learn to self-regulate their intake of food. A baby will stop feeding when she is full, and ask for more if she is still hungry. Formula fed babies are often encuraged to finish the bottle, regardless of if they are hungry or not, and therefore lose some of this self-regulation. &quot;Topping up&quot; messes with the baby's regulation system, and may cause her to eat more than she needs. As long as your baby is gaining weight and wetting 6-8 nappies every day, you don't need to worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, be &lt;strong&gt;very careful&lt;/strong&gt; about pumping to make your body produce more milk than the baby needs. I made this mistake, and when I no longer could keep up with emptying my breasts, I got bad mastitis and had to go in for surgery. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T09:35:06.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2012-07-31T12:31:37.633" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately very few cars properly fit 3 car seats, and cramming them all in there may actually decrease the safety of the seat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do end up putting one in the front seat, make sure you consider the front passenger air bags - they need to be disabled for many car seats or they can cause significant harm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3021" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T12:31:37.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-07-31T13:47:22.933" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a really good Sesame Street episode for this: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sesamestreet.org/parents/theshow/episodes/elmo-learns-to-bowl&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Chris Teaches Elmo How to Bowl&lt;/a&gt;.  Unfortunately, I can't find the video online, but maybe another user will be able to provide the link.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I watched the episode dozens of times with both my children (around ages 2-4), especially the Chris / Elmo bowling part.  My kids learned the &quot;try and try&quot; song, and when they got frustrated learning something, we'd sing the &quot;try and try&quot; song.  Of course, this is anecdotal, but I feel like &quot;try and try&quot; was extraordinarily important for their development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3025" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T13:47:22.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-07-31T19:44:49.827" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to my personal experience there's no better way to &lt;strong&gt;be the best exapmle&lt;/strong&gt; to your kids. That means not just saying to be good... &lt;strong&gt;Children copy us&lt;/strong&gt; all the time. Even if you think they don't hear or see what we're doing. Their perception is limitless. &#xA;And &lt;strong&gt;don't avoid&lt;/strong&gt; meeting who you concider to be 'bad people'. Naugty aunts or peers show new experiences and even if their behaviour is tempting, it's enough to explain our children what is wrong (not that they're bad). &#xA;I have &lt;strong&gt;no problems&lt;/strong&gt; with my kids. They have much of freedom. They know and choose the rigth way (not always of course) and just behave good. &lt;strong&gt;No reason to fear them with God..!&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3027" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T19:44:49.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="910" CreationDate="2012-07-31T20:52:27.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I've been told and what I noticed watching my kids brushing their teeth is that you should help or at least watch your children &lt;strong&gt;till the age of 10&lt;/strong&gt;. It's all about &lt;strong&gt;developing good habits&lt;/strong&gt; as well as brushing in a proper way. Kids also &lt;strong&gt;may cheat&lt;/strong&gt; just wetting a toothbrush.. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3027" LastActivityDate="2012-07-31T20:52:27.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4844" CreationDate="2012-08-01T01:26:30.110" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not paying attention when someone is talking to them can be addressed at age 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do it by reminding him of what he is supposed to be doing when someone is talking (i.e. standing straight, hands by sides, looking at person).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not specifically a problem to the after timeout talk, so can be worked on at any time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely it is easier to get this attention when you lower yourself to eye level with the child, so try sitting down and have him standing in front of you and see if it is easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But don't expect magic, my 5 year old still acts as if his head is completely empty at times and it can be a bit frustrating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-08-01T01:26:30.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5722" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-01T08:06:59.010" Score="7" ViewCount="1133" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 15-month old. She has been breast-fed and bottle-fed since the beginning, interchanging between the two. Since 10-month we have started feeding her more &quot;adult&quot; food, such as vegetables and eggs. At about the same time, we have also started limiting breastfeeding to bed time, when my daughter craves for it the most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think she is one of the luckier children in Hong Kong to get such a long period of breastfeeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is thinking of stopping to breastfeed because she can't keep up with my daughter's appetite. Plus, my daughter has already developed 12 teeth, so sometimes she accidentally bites and it hurts my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's interests aside, is there any real need to wean a child from breast milk or infant formula on purpose? Do children lose interest in breast milk and infant formula naturally?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3028" LastActivityDate="2017-04-15T04:29:50.957" Title="Do babies *have* to be weaned from breast milk or infant formula on purpose?" Tags="|weaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4844" CreationDate="2012-08-01T11:09:05.960" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've noticed something missing from the procedure:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;[child misbehaves] &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We don't do X.  Please stop. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;[child misbehaves] &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We don't do X.  Please stop.  If you don't, you will get a time out (TO)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;[child misbehaves] &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have done X.  Now you will have TO.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;[TO, during which there is no play/interaction at all]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of TO:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you know why you are on TO?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;[ I did X ]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you have something you want to say?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;[ Sorry for doing X, dad/mom ]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;IMPORTANT: &lt;b&gt;OK, &amp;lt;let off step&gt;.  I love you.  &amp;lt;hug&gt; &lt;/b&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That last step is important to let them know that they're not in trouble anymore and everything is OK again once they do the TO.  I find they go back to being their happy selves after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3029" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-14T14:37:00.773" LastActivityDate="2014-11-14T14:37:00.773" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5722" CreationDate="2012-08-01T13:12:37.973" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Short Answer: No, but the mother's needs are highly important, and it's safe to wean if she feels it's time.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At a certain point, somewhere between 6 and 12 months, breastfeeding is no longer providing everything nutritional the baby needs. From around 12 months, it's no longer nutritionally &lt;em&gt;necessary&lt;/em&gt; to breastfeed, as the baby will be getting everything they need from real food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This lack of complete nutrition from the breast isn't harmful in any way, as long as the baby's getting &quot;real&quot; food as well, and is still putting on weight, but it's important to be aware that hunger is a sign that it's no longer sufficient on its own. This is probably why the baby's seeming hungry on the breast, as her &quot;feeding&quot; isn't filling her up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, breastfeeding is also about the &lt;strong&gt;relationship between the mother and baby.&lt;/strong&gt; While I appreciate you want to look at other factors, this really is the most critical thing about breast-feeding other than nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the one hand, your baby will be drawing comfort from the feed, and both sides will be forming a bond, and this is obviously a benefit. It can also last a long time, which is why some mothers breast-feed even after two years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if the mother is becoming stressed by the fact that she's not actually &quot;filling&quot; the baby, and if it's hurting her, then it &lt;strong&gt;that relationship needs to change in a controlled and supportive way&lt;/strong&gt;, or it may start to fall apart, causing stress to all parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing here is that, while the needs of the baby are obviously paramount, &lt;strong&gt;the needs of the mother are a major factor in that.&lt;/strong&gt; If the mother, as primary carer, is under stress and miserable, that is far more important to the baby than what &lt;em&gt;form&lt;/em&gt; of nutrition he/she's getting. (for example, calm &amp;amp; happy bottle-feeding mother is better than stressed &amp;amp; miserable breast-feeding mother)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the primary reason to start weaning before the baby initiates/completes it themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as waiting for the baby to self-wean, this is obviously the best case scenario, but be aware that he/she doesn't know what she's doing. The baby won't be aware that they're not drawing food from the milk, and while they'll definitely pick up on any stress, they won't understand the reasons. They may be quite happy to wean, but just require a little push.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/breastfeeding/weaning/weaning/&quot;&gt;This babycentre link is a good source of information&lt;/a&gt; on how to go about encouraging the baby to wean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their 3 core ideas are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Comfort her in other ways &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Postponing feeds &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick your moment (Don't force it when the child is distressed/ill)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-08-01T13:12:37.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-08-01T18:11:23.660" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;make this activity fun for her. Make up some game:&lt;br&gt;&#xA; Like who will gather three red toys faster?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;or what toy should go to what box?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;or take a big bag, draw a funny face on it and tell your baby - &quot;this is mr. ToyBag. He likes toys. Lets give him some. would you like this pink truck, mr ToyBag? I see you like it a lot&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another way, tell her that toys want to go home to their boxes. Imitate toy crying &quot;ohh..I wanna go home, please get me home&quot;. And once she put the toy in the box say &quot; Its soo good here, thanks a lot!! its so comfortable!! i'm so happy etc&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I would recommend to eliminate amount of toys, and don't make her clean ALL of them. Kids are getting bored/tired fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2012-08-01T18:11:23.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5671" CreationDate="2012-08-01T18:57:14.937" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had similar situation with our little one. Here what we did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gentle massage of belly, clockwise  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;burping, he can burp after 5-10 minutes after feeding  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in 0,5 hour after he ate or later carry him in your arm on his belly, so that his belly will be in your hand.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;since you are breastfeeding - check your diet. Make sure not to eat things like beans, fresh bread, all types of cabbage (broccoli and cauliflower included). Processed food is not good too.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2012-08-01T18:57:14.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5617" CreationDate="2012-08-02T02:28:27.017" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I originally had the same problem with our newborn twins fussing when bath time was over.  What worked for us was to have the towel ready to dry them off IMMEDIATELY and then talking to them the entire time from the moment we take them out of the bath until they are dry and in a new diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we figured this out, we've seldom had a bad fuss after bathing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3032" LastActivityDate="2012-08-02T02:28:27.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5586" CreationDate="2012-08-02T05:05:06.777" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was unschooled, as were my two siblings (my brother and I, the older two, did a few years in public school before escaping), and my wife, and we'll be doing the same with our children.  I can say that it works, as long as someone is staying home with the kids of course - a big if for many families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why unschooling over other forms of homeschooling?  Because unschooling lets the child learn and explore without constraints.  It removes all the negative things that can burden learning - no stressful tests, no boring subjects, no dry books.  Example: I read the encyclopedia article on &quot;Solar System&quot; straight through, until the pages were worn and torn, because &lt;em&gt;I wanted to learn about it&lt;/em&gt;, and therefore it was fascinating, not dry or boring.  Make a ten-year old memorize facts about the planets because it's on the syllabus for this week, and he &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; go through with it, or he may not.  But if he wants to learn about it and his mental energy isn't exhausted doing school's busywork, he'll eat it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unschooling is entirely driven by the child's curiosity, which as most of us on this site can testify, is damn near infinite!  Curiosity can be squashed when school forces kids to focus on arbitrary topics at arbitrary hours of the day.  Forcing oneself to pay attention to something one does not find interesting is exhausting; learning about something you love is exhilarating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Objection #1: work and college.  Can we agree that this problem has long since disappeared?  I've never been asked for a high school diploma, and never had problems with college admissions.  Demonstrate skills and you'll find work (eventually; the economy will be better by the time our kids grow up!).  A university that doesn't accept a student with demonstrated ability just because she had an unconventional secondary education isn't one you'd want to attend anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Objection #2: Shakespeare/algebra/other &quot;hard&quot; subjects.  &quot;But what if my kid never reads Shakespeare/never wants to learn algebra?&quot;  I never got through any of Shakespeare's plays as a kid, but that's because they're &lt;em&gt;plays&lt;/em&gt;, not novellas, they're meant to be seen, in person, with the swordfights and the blood and the curses and the shipwrecks and all that cool stuff that many teens would be stoked to see.  Take them to &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; Shakespeare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for algebra, it's a necessity in college, but otherwise useless unless you're going into CS or engineering.  And kids with interests in computers or engineering will have practical uses for advanced math.  I taught myself trig once I discovered I could use it in my little Commodore Basic programs to make a spaceship rotate and move realistically - an application for the math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So these and other &quot;hard&quot; subjects can be learned if the child has an interest.  If not, that's OK.  A curious kid will, over 18 years, learn TONS about a LOT of stuff.  Maybe not the capital of Mali.  Maybe not the 22nd U.S. president.  But trivia does not a person make.  Having a subject you're passionate and knowledgeable about makes you an interesting conversationalist and a worthwhile employee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the age of Wikipedia, your kids can learn almost anything about almost anything, as long as they have the time to do so.  It's a great day to unschool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3034" LastActivityDate="2012-08-02T05:05:06.777" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5732" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5733" CreationDate="2012-08-02T10:18:02.507" Score="4" ViewCount="2350" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are milk teeth characteristics such as shape, alignment, spaces between teeth, etc. indicative of what permanent teeth will be like?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1408" LastActivityDate="2012-08-02T14:09:15.553" Title="Do milk teeth indicate what permanent teeth will be like?" Tags="|teeth|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5732" CreationDate="2012-08-02T11:58:29.410" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No,&lt;/strong&gt; the characteristics of milk teeth don't predict much about the adult teeth.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Disclaimer: I have no dentistry education; this is my personal experience and beliefs.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Milk teeth are smaller because they start out in a toddler's jaw so by the time the child is six, they'll have some gaps between them. These gaps disappear because adult teeth are bigger.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The adult teeth have different roots than milk teeth, so their alignment is brand-new and not identical to the milk teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things that are closely linked is &lt;strong&gt;dental health:&lt;/strong&gt; If there were many dental problems with milk teeth (fillings etc.) because the milk teeth were treated poorly, not cleaned well, or weak by nature, then that's likely to continue with the adult teeth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take good care of your teeth; only sharks can regrow them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-02T11:58:29.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5732" CreationDate="2012-08-02T14:09:15.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only thing I can think of is when permanent teeth start popping out, milk teeth can be on their way hindering permanent from growing in right direction.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides that, as Torben said, dental hygiene is important for milk teeth, to make a good habit of it in future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2012-08-02T14:09:15.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5735" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-02T15:27:32.273" Score="5" ViewCount="56649" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8mo baby has his upper front teeth on the way. Today, I noticed that one of them was black and blue in color. This is scary to me.  It looks like one of the teeth is black, but it might be that the gums near this tooth is black/blue.  I haven't been able to make him sit still to look at it more closely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any insight as to what might be happening?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T16:23:50.590" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T20:03:10.370" Title="new tooth has a black color (baby 8mo old)" Tags="|infant|teething|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2014-12-27T17:06:31.913" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5735" CreationDate="2012-08-02T17:04:53.067" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you giving your baby iron or mineral supplements?  It may be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/baby-teeth/AN01056&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;deposition from that&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Medication use&lt;/strong&gt;. Infant medications containing iron, such as supplemental vitamins, may cause dark stains on baby teeth. Taking the antibiotic tetracycline during pregnancy can cause a child to have discolored baby teeth, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're very concerned, take him to a pediatric dentist.  You may want to make sure he has insurance for that; all of the dentists in our immediate area charge ridiculous amounts (in excess of $150) to do a checkup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-08-02T17:04:53.067" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5737" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-03T04:09:17.210" Score="3" ViewCount="1269" Body="&lt;p&gt;I plan on making an appointment with my baby's pediatrician but before I do, I wanted to get some feedback on my concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Earlier this evening, while at home, our baby monitor was too loud resulting in feedback &quot;high pitched&quot; noise. Our new born (1 week old) was in the other room and woke up to the noise. That said, what is the DB level on a baby monitor's speaker? Should I be concerned that my child may have suffered hearing loss? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any answers would help. Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3037" LastEditorUserId="2089" LastEditDate="2012-08-08T06:21:24.430" LastActivityDate="2012-08-15T12:11:20.157" Title="Does feedback from a baby monitor result in hearing loss?" Tags="|newborn|noise|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5737" CreationDate="2012-08-03T09:04:09.430" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about 10-15 seconds of feedback noise from a monitor when the child wasn't even in the same room. Even if the child was in the same room it wouldn't cause hearing loss as the amount of sound a battery powered speaker can produce isn't nearly enough to cause hearing loss, especially so short a period. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-03T09:04:09.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2012-08-03T14:12:08.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are lots of educational games. For example chess helps with logical and strategy thinking.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Science is always fun. Reading is exciting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But to help kids develop better they need lots of sport activities too. Especially boys.  Also non computer activities will educate him way more better then computer ones. The more variety he has in his activities - the more educational experience he will get.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find out what he likes, if he doesn't know, try different things with him to figure it out. parks/bicycle/karts/camping/baseball/trips/photography/chess/science/etc&#xA;For example, get him a book about some famous/exiting place(south africa? Yellowstone national park and its geysers? air and space museum in DC?), get him interested and then plan a trip there together, involve him in planning, packing, shopping -&gt; educational moment, plus time with a parent, plus new experience and memories.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;involve him in activities you like to do (photography? lots of things to learn, right)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be an example to your son, nothing will work if other members are watching TV and playing games  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spend time with him just talking, telling him stories of your life. talking about what interests him. This teaches a child a lot too. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2012-08-03T14:12:08.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5737" CreationDate="2012-08-03T17:39:17.533" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally it sounds like you don't have to worry.  Did you hear the noise from a similar distance?  Can you still hear?  The human body is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; resiliant.  Your child will be exposed to a lot of noise over the course of his first few years, from popping balloons to the sound of his own voice or his brothers and sisters screaming.  Don't worry about the minor damage that will occur inevitably due to the environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, you should minimize unnecessary exposure to the baby (e.g. vaccums, squealing baby monitors).  Don't give a baby an overinflated balloon or something that might pop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So like, regarding noise and talking to doctors.  If your child does hear a loud noise and experiences mild hearing loss then &lt;em&gt;there is nothing your pediatrician can do about it&lt;/em&gt;.  Just make sure it doesn't happen in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A pediatrician cannot evaluate or quantify minor hearing damage in a baby.  It is unreasonable to ask this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also don't use Q-tips or swab your baby's ears.  Earwax is a natural defense against loud noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="1850" LastEditDate="2012-08-03T17:45:56.760" LastActivityDate="2012-08-03T17:45:56.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4479" CreationDate="2012-08-03T21:03:09.637" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're better off going with specific game examples.  Sorry these are old, but any good games with &lt;strong&gt;2 player simultaneous&lt;/strong&gt; will do (try &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=let%27s+play+co-op&amp;amp;oq=let%27s+play+co-op&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;let's play co-op&quot; search string&lt;/a&gt; ):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Links are to play on youtube.  Some of these games have been re-released for the DS, some have not.  You said &quot;Nintendo!&quot;  Anyway, these are the prototypes of some of the best games I played as a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Top down - Overhead&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N081296gaA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Secret of Mana/SNES&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Qe5wa.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;som&quot;&gt;&#xA;- My #1 recommendation. One of my favorite games. Great cult following to this day. SOM is a fun, longer adventure, so it takes longer to play through, and it's easier to play than Gauntlet (you die/get stuck and have to replay the same levels much more in Gauntlet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNe97IpudZY&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Gauntlet/NES&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/f95Gq.png&quot; alt=&quot;Gauntlet&quot;&gt;&#xA;(NES version had 2p simultaneous, DS yet unreleased!)  Overhead, 2p simultaneous.  I always thought this game was a great archetype of collaboration between 2 players because you &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; had to collaborate to get through the levels.  You have to share treasure and health so the other player doesn't die - having the other player around makes the game much easier for you.  This is an arcade style game, the challenge level of this game gets significantly higher as you go through the levels.&#xA;[See play on youtube]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Action side scroller&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically a bit more violent with action/streetfighting themes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBr-0H8MJS4#t=2m00s&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;BattleToads&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/0EY8h.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;battletoads&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2p simultaneous here is great arcade/action fun.  It's basically beating up the baddies, but the play varies a lot with unique twists on 2p side scroller play for it's time (e.g. level 2, going &lt;em&gt;down&lt;/em&gt; the crater, and level 3, with the race cars.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbPawwn7CaM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NES: Double dragon II&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SbZSJ.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;dd2&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Straight 2p side scroller, have fun beating up the baddies.  Beating up baddies with your side kick is fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJNBriu250k&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;TMNT series/NES/SNES&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/pg1vL.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;tmnt iv&quot;&gt;&#xA;Link is to TMNT IV, but II also had a multiplayer simultaneous mode.  Again, beating up the baddies.  Same mechanic as Double Dragon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIEHjdeU1Zo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Contra I, II, III&lt;/a&gt; all were well known multiplayer simulataneous (this is the SNES contra 3)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Pf2kp.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;contra 3&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Artillery-based 2p action side scroller.  You have to share the powerups that drop throughout the level.  Having long range firing weapons is a completely different feel than street fighting (ala Double Dragon), you cover your friend by protecting him from enemies with your bullets!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GG8EeXgltM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;SNES: Darius twin&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/NIdN5.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;darius twin&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A more off-beat/less popular one, 2 player simultaneous jet fighter. Similar mechanic to Contra, only you can move vertically as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok #1:  HEALTHY MIND HEALTHY BODY.  I'm saying PLAY SPORTS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;2:&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;KEEP IN MIND A 2P SIMULTANEOUS GAME DOES NOT MEAN FUN TIMES FOR EVERYBODY!!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; The kids might still fight if one &quot;sucks&quot; or holds the other one back, which is pretty much the cause for arguments on the sports field as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;collaboration&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I do is &lt;strong&gt;discontinue play&lt;/strong&gt; for &lt;strong&gt;any&lt;/strong&gt; activity (soccer, water guns, you name it), once they start fighting in a bad (kicking, screaming) way.  Tell them to stop, and if they don't stop immediately, then stop the game (until the next day, the punishment has to stick).  Once you do that a couple of times, getting them to stop is easier.  Once they learn they &lt;em&gt;have to play nice, or don't play at all&lt;/em&gt;, usually collaboration follows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="1850" LastEditDate="2012-08-04T22:37:33.890" LastActivityDate="2012-08-04T22:37:33.890" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5737" CreationDate="2012-08-04T02:23:08.450" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short version: don't worry about it, but don't repeat either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long version: Permanent damage is a function of exposure level and exposure time. Legal requirement for a workplace (OSHA) are 85 dBA for 8 hours, 95 dBA for 4 hours, 105 dBA for 2 hours etc. Pain threshold sits at about 115 dBA to 120 dBA. Some clinical studies suggest that these limits are actually on the high side but that's currently the law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most common damage is mechanical damage of the receptors in the inner ear (stereocilia in the cochlea for the Latin inclined). Sound waves actually wiggle a membrane in the inner ear and this vibration than wiggles the nerve endings which fire impulses to the brain. Excessive motion wears out the nerve endings and they die.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The limits above are obviously for adults, I'm not aware of studies that assess that for children or infants. However we can assume that a baby's ear is significantly more sensitive since the nerve cells are a lot smaller and hence more fragile. I would estimate at least 10 times more fragile which would mean to deduct 10dBA from those limits. To be really safe I would assume 100 times more sensitive and subtract 20 dBA. So as a general rule a baby should not be exposed to more than 65 dBA for 8 hours. 65dBA is about the level of a loud animated conversation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[side note: babies have also have different frequency sensitivity curve than adults so the &quot;A&quot; weighting isn't really appropriate but we'll ignore this to keep it simple]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your particular case, the exposure was very short. It really can't do any damage unless it was significantly above the pain threshold in which case your baby would have probably shown clear signs of discomfort. Also your baby was in a different room and walls and doors are quite good at absorbing high frequency sound. Even if it's ear splitting in the kitchen it's not all that loud in the bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At high frequencies even a small baby monitors can actually get quite loud, so this is something to watch for and avoid repetition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the ear wax: I agree, you should leave that alone and have nature deal with it, simply because there is significant risk to damage the ear drum or the middle ear when poking around in there. Ear wax is absolutely NOT there to protect against loud sounds. If there is so much build up that it actually affects the hearing, you need to have it cleaned out by a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally there is no point in going to a pediatrician since there isn't really anything she can do. I don't know whether you can diagnose anything at all at this age. Even at a few months old you can only check for major hearing problems at best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3044" LastActivityDate="2012-08-04T02:23:08.450" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5744" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5746" CreationDate="2012-08-04T03:41:57.687" Score="3" ViewCount="998" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are pleased with a powerful sense of his curiosity in our 10 month old son, but his curiosity makes ​​him want to touch/play everything, including items that are dangerous or dirty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he touches or plays with something we consider harmful or dirty, we often forbid him to play with it and we move him and encourage play elsewhere.  When we ban the play or item in words it doesn't work.  He just turns around and smiles, but he's still touching a dangerous or dirty thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea to limit his play area with a fence has been discussed, but we worry that will limit his creativity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want to implement a self awareness for our children, so they can learn to distinguish between safe and unsafe, dirty and clean themselves. Since we have this goal, should we let it go and if later on something happens to make him cry, will he learn and understand the cause of his discomfort?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can this kind of learning style be applied early on children?&#xA;If not, at what age can we implement it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And is there any other recommendations regarding self-awareness education?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T16:31:23.067" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T16:31:23.067" Title="Should I forbid my 10 month old boy to touch/play with anything that is harmful/dirty?" Tags="|development|education|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5744" CreationDate="2012-08-04T15:45:20.707" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's playing with something you don't want him to play with, then just saying no isn't going to work especially if he's young. He's still going to want to play with it. You need to redirect him into playing with something else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1488" LastActivityDate="2012-08-04T15:45:20.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5744" CreationDate="2012-08-04T21:00:31.180" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't tolerate disobedience.&lt;/strong&gt; If the child doesn't obey you then that is a separate problem to be addressed! Children need to play with dirty things too, but I think 10 months is too young for this. You are not limiting your child's creativity. You can soften your rules when the child grows a little older -- old enough to understand what danger is, or at least old enough to obey you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Staircases, kitchen knives, cleaning liquids, cat litter box, and so on. There are many dangers, but the rules are always the same:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clean the dirty items if possible, otherwise remove them or block access to them.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Remove the dangerous items if possible, otherwise block access to them.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're the parent. If you feel that items or areas are not healthy for your child, then &lt;strong&gt;it's your responsibility&lt;/strong&gt; to take action against it. Don't feel bad about blocking access to any room. If your home gives you no choice then put a gate in the door-frame of the child's room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-04T21:00:31.180" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="201" CreationDate="2012-08-05T00:36:05.423" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 12yo boy (and a 10yo) who would sit in front of the TV or play computer video games all day if...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But we don't have a TV or computer video games!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problem solved. 8-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not trying to be flip, but as parents sometimes we have to remove from the environment things that compete for attention...especially if they're non-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most homes are filled with non-productive distractions. Fill the home with productive distractions and, again, problem solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Funny thing is that the whole family does not waste hours watching TV or playing video games. We tie flies for fly-fishing, exercise, read, make stuff, blow-up things (dry-ice is awesome), cook really complicated foods, make video, play music, tease each other mercilessly, and spend a lot of time jumping on the trampoline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking a 12yo to not watch TV or play video games when present in the home is exactly the same as asking an alcoholic to stop drinking when their home is filled with alcohol and everyone around them is drinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastActivityDate="2012-08-05T00:36:05.423" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2012-08-05T00:43:17.957" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Asides from all the obvious places/situations they shouldn't be swearing, we allow our kids to mirror our swearing. The interesting thing is that you get &quot;mirror feedback&quot; on your own language. My (very cliche Italian) wife was quite surprised to hear her own language mirrored back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The beauty of this is it teaches &quot;syncing&quot; at an early age. The less they hear it from you, the less they are apt to repeat it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastActivityDate="2012-08-05T00:43:17.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5388" CreationDate="2012-08-05T01:16:52.423" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The short answer to your question is yes! Life is a learning environment. The best thing you can do at home &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; your kids is learn things together. Especially dangerous things because they won't get any exposure to dangerous things at school anymore. And they can learn a lot of great things that will make their academic experience richer and their self-confidence much stronger. (Get Gever Tulley's 50 Dangerous Things Book, it's a great place for ideas.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're kids get a great academic education at our homogenized standards-based public (and most private) schools then congrats! You just raised some exceptionally vanilla kids that will probably feel vanilla and may start to (oh noes!) rebel and seek their own identity at some point. Yay for teenagers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful about falling into the academic standards rat race. Today's standards are more about making parents and public feel good and are often a spiral of meaningless quantified results that can do as much harm to a young child's learning motivation than good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Colleges are already starting to acknowledge the downside of all the academically knowledge-smart kids who are completely lacking in critical thinking skills, self-confidence, strong identity, and internal drive. Oh, they're also not really happy and don't know how or what happy is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Health is the new wealth for kids entering college 2020 and beyond. The income requirements for someone to maintain an unhealthy lifestyle will be unbearable. In other words, if you raise a super healthy/happy kid who achieves mediocre academic results, their disposable income after managing lifetime healthcare costs may be significantly higher than their unhealthy peers who traded healthy/happy bodies for income and prestige.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As one admissions officer for an world-renowned university put it to me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;We get these kids with perfect SAT scores applying but their average blood sugar is 120+ and they're already on prescription anti-depressants or mood-control drugs. They may be smart, but they're failing at life. We're going to start passing on admitting those kids.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Colleges are already starting to switch into placing higher value on social and emotional intelligence as well as human development measurements. We live in a world where knowledge is always a Google away. The colleges want more kids who know what to &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; with knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastActivityDate="2012-08-05T01:16:52.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2012-08-05T02:08:22.820" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are asking the wrong question.  Your question really is, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;how can I sensitize my children to understand the context of people with which they are interacting and choose their language and manner of expression accordingly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that is your question, then all you have to do, is to let them listen to the language of those around them.  If they are on a playground, where there is a lot of yelling, and &quot;throw me the ball!&quot; and such, then such expression is also appropriate.  If they are in an arcade, where there is a lot of &quot;Yeah man!&quot; And &quot;darn it!&quot;, then that is the language to use there.  And if they are at home having guests for dinner, then there is a certain manner of expression that is appropriate there also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paying attention to the context and making sure not to offend your guests, or the people you are talking with, is key in every situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-05T02:08:22.820" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-08-05T07:56:53.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Living and leading by example is the easiest. Our brains (thanks mirror neurons!) are designed to mimic what's going on in our immediate social network. You don't need mythological stories to get that across.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, you can still introduce religion as a study into the home. Start with Norse then Greek mythology and then work into exposing western and eastern religions. You can learn a lot too. Kids learn much more when they see their parents engaged in learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Treating it as a study of human development and history lets the values-based discussions come about without having to let dogma get in the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We &quot;tour&quot; churches a lot. One Sunday we'll pop into a synagogue, then another Sunday pop into a mass. By exposing the kids to all the various forms of &quot;storytelling&quot; the kids are exposed to the same (and different) value-systems and while letting them note the common denominators.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It gives them a rich perspective while exercising their critical thinking skills. And yours 8-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastActivityDate="2012-08-05T07:56:53.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5586" CreationDate="2012-08-05T08:05:45.710" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We practice “hackschooling”. It’s a term we made up for avoiding the baggage of saying that we homeschool. One, our kids are hardly every at home so it’s misleading. Second is that homeschooling has unfortunately developed a reputation of being &quot;pushy&quot; and having a root motivation of trying to avoid exposing and/or socializing the kids with worldviews and value systems that are out of sync with their parents. &quot;Unschooling&quot; is another term gaining in popularity and it has some great perspective, especially the &quot;don't push&quot; and eschewing the popular definition of educational success via standards-based quantitative measurement, but we do feel some some aspects of what unschooling advocates &quot;push&quot; for falls short. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach has been to &quot;hack&quot; school (remix, mash-up, co-op, and create) to create a learning and achievement environment for our family and stakeholder social network. We're happy to take from any &quot;school of thought&quot; what we think is efficient and beneficial and not deal with the shadow. We're always looking for the hack that achieves optimal result or efficiency. The kids &quot;just happen&quot; to be included in that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three difficult paradigm shifts for us to make in this approach were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It’s not JUST about the kids. Its the family, extended family, and a circle of relevant people in our social network. The kids are growing up in an environment where they see everyone around them challenging themselves with some form of developmental growth. Often on the same subject and/or activity they are. They are immersed in an environment where everyone in their immediate social network is striving to learn and change.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It’s not school, it’s life. Life is 24×7, 365. It’s most certainly not 9-3p, M-F, 9 months of the year. It’s persistent and holistic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Optimize for efficiency, experience, and outcome. This means putting a lot more faith in qualitative results. Quantifying everything is too much of a drag coefficient. This was a huge cognitive dissonance for us as we were bred on measuring education comparatively.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this the solution for everyone? Absolutely not, however, gone (err…going) are the days of mass homogenized approaches inside nations that have enjoyed modernity and a comfortable GDP for a few decades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best education “strategy” for a child is dependent upon so many factors, not the least of which is the socio-economic level and developmental altitude of the parents. Unfortunately in the US our melting pot of conflicting value systems, worldviews, collective bargaining units, efficient lobbyists, and a predisposition to litigate has hamstrung our public education system from being able to “reform” at a pace that gives many hope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastActivityDate="2012-08-05T08:05:45.710" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4111" CreationDate="2012-08-05T08:30:57.803" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our youngest was &quot;diagnosed&quot; ADD. Turns out he just has a different learning style and is a little boy whose soul needs motion to be happy. So we pulled him from school and he crushes everything he does. That is as long as he can bounce and be upside-down. He does most of his math in his head while bouncing on a trampoline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point: Be very careful about the all-too-quick diagnosis of ADD. What's just starting to really spill out of research is diet is the cause for so much mis-diagnosis. Especially sugar. Second is the starving the brain of the nutrients derived from healthy fats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was &quot;diagnosed&quot; ADHD in highschool. They wanted me to go on Ritalin. My parents (thank you!) said no. I was just creative, full of energy, and jacked up on sugar/carbs. Eating a diet high in healthy-fat and low in carbs eliminated my concentration issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you head off to a doctor you might want to buy a cheap blood glucose monitor and get 30 days of data points to see if there's any correlation to the symptoms of the ADD/ADHD and the blood glucose. When my blood glucose is over 100 I'm a total spaz and can't think straight. I keep my average at 85 which is my sweet-spot for energy and focus. Same for our youngest. Genes. Go figure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh yeah - research what a little caffeine (tea, premium coffee) can do for kids with ADD/ADHD.  A KerryGold and caffeine in the morning can be 10x more effective than medication. The fears of giving kids caffeine are myth. Tons of research on it now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastActivityDate="2012-08-05T08:30:57.803" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5754" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5755" CreationDate="2012-08-05T19:34:58.607" Score="3" ViewCount="1078" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two year old has started potty training and is pretty good about going pee on the toilet but really struggles when it comes to going poop.  She will hold it in and lay on the ground holding her stomach but when you ask her if she has to go she will always yell No. We've tried candy, presents, everything but nothing motivates her. She's never had a painful experience that we are aware of. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we get her over the fear of going poop on the toilet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3049" LastActivityDate="2012-08-12T23:12:05.730" Title="Two year old afraid to go on potty" Tags="|toddler|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5754" CreationDate="2012-08-06T01:59:28.207" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;She might not be ready to potty train at just 2 years of age.  According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/tc/toilet-training-topic-overview&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A child is considered toilet-trained when he or she knows that it is time to go to the bathroom and is able to climb onto and use the toilet with little help. In a study of children who started training between 22 and 30 months of age, boys were fully trained at an average age of 38 months, while girls were trained slightly earlier, around 36 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, my parents claim that my brother and myself were potty trained by the age of 2, and blame the comfort of current diapers as the cause.  If we drank orange juice, it caused us huge rashes, and so we wanted to get out of diapers as soon as possible to avoid this rash.   Current diapers, however, are so absorbent that the orange juice trick won't work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son had to be ready to potty train.  Until he was ready, any and all of our attempts just met with frustration; now, he just runs to the toilet yelling how much he needs to go, and does it himself.  He's also very angry if we try to put a diaper on him at night, since &quot;diapers are for babies.&quot;  He's 3.5 years old now, and that last bit has only happened in the last three months or so.  He started going to the toilet on his own at around 2.75 years, but not for pooping-- that came later (really, right around the time he didn't want to have a diaper at night).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T01:59:28.207" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5690" CreationDate="2012-08-06T06:42:02.900" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like Torben's list, but I don't think that having a child who is low on the growth curve is a reason to be overly concerned about weight loss unless your child has all ready been diagnosed as being underweight by his/her pediatrician or with failure to thrive.  The reality, though, is that children in the lower percentiles follow the same growth patterns as children in the upper percentiles.  I doubt anyone would bat an eye if a 26 pound 2-year-old lost two pounds.  While it might seem alarming that your child has gone from the 25th percentile to the 10th percentile, a quick check for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.chartsgraphsdiagrams.com/HealthCharts/growth-2-20-girls.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;growth charts&lt;/a&gt; shows that the difference between those percentiles is, like, 2 pounds.  What I'm saying is, it doesn't take much for a kid to fluctuate between percentiles at this age, and my daughter has floated between the 5th and 10th percentiles her whole life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There does come a point in a child's development when their eating habits change because they are not growing/changing as rapidly as they previously were.  I have found in my own kids and in my friends' kids that this usually occurs right about the time they turn two (some earlier, some later).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter just turned 2 and could probably be awarded the crown for world's pickiest eater.  She'll go a couple of weeks and pick around throughout the day with her food, then she'll suddenly gear up and start eating more.  This usually coincides with a small growth spurt.  After the growth spurt is over, she goes back to her usual routine of picky, less-than-stellar eating.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frequently, I've seen that toddlers at this age lose some of their baby fat and grow taller.  If she's grown taller, then there shouldn't really be need for concern.  Her body is getting adequate nutrients to continue growing, it's just that the resources are being allocated differently (ie. growing in height rather than girth).  Additionally, your child is &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/growth/growth_2_to_3.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;more active&lt;/a&gt; than he/she has ever been, and, therefore, burning more calories as a result.  You would think this would make your child hungrier and make them want to eat more, but it generally doesn't.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has not gotten taller, this should probably be cause for concern.  There are plenty of illnesses and diseases whose early indications are so few or minor that it's not until the patient becomes seriously ill that they even go to the doctor.  When it comes to weight loss like that, diabetes comes to mind as one example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for her crankiness, strangely enough being cranky or clingy is one of the signs of a growth spurt.  So, perhaps she's just growing.  Or maybe she's teething.  Or maybe she's bored.  Who knows?  Kids get cranky/clingy for lots of reasons.  If you don't believe she's ill, then the clingy list could go on and on.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will probably pick her eating up again on her own.  One night you'll sit down to dinner and she'll clean her plate and ask for more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This next part is purely opinion, kindly remember I'm not a doctor--never have been; never claimed to be:  I would give it &lt;em&gt;maybe&lt;/em&gt; two to three more weeks (depending on your tolerance level) and see if she's improved any.  Despite my daughter's eating issues, she's never gone more than a couple of weeks of being exceptionally picky.  Anything more than that and you're starting to get to the 2-month threshold and that, personally, seems too long.  I have been known to weigh my daughter frequently so there's no shame in standing her on the bathroom scale if it will give you some hard data to take with you to the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T06:42:02.900" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5754" CreationDate="2012-08-06T08:44:59.470" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard of a trick that worked with a certain kid years ago, but this kid avoided pooping because of a painful experience. Nevertheless, I'll describe it. The kid went to pee on the potty, but the parents also inserted fake rubber poop. Then there was a whole ritual of &quot;wow, you pooped! look! that's great!&quot; After that, the kid didn't refuse to try any more. Maybe some variation on this theme would work for your kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T08:44:59.470" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5754" CreationDate="2012-08-06T11:29:50.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't want to create a situation where a child is afraid to go on the potty, and the more pressure you put on the worse it will get. I'd back off potty training for now for 6 weeks or so and let your child calm down. If you are determined to continue then my advice would be to stop putting pressure on your child when it comes to pooing, in fact don't mention it at all, just reward if it does happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T11:29:50.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2012-08-06T13:38:05.523" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can fit in 2 car seat and an infant carrier in many different cars Opel Agila, Renault Megane, Opel Astra ... using seat belts. It is a hassle, so I start with the middle seat (not the infant carrier) and then add the two on the doors. I have to do it on many cars, because we do car sharing, but it always worked out somehow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="169" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T13:38:05.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5735" CreationDate="2012-08-06T14:35:36.760" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;So on the next day I checked the tooth and there was no black/blue color on it. Gum was bright red color and tooth was barely noticeable. An it was ok color. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doctor said it was a little hematoma there. Either my baby bumped into something, or the tooth while growing touched some capillary in the gum.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T14:35:36.760" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5744" CreationDate="2012-08-06T17:33:42.217" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 10mo the cognitive development of a child's brain is not capable of comprehending or responding to discipline effectively. It's all about managing the environment. That's not to say you can't  try to communicate and begin to form the cognitive capabilities. But a frowny face will be just as, if not more, affective as voice tone. (Mirror neurons are the key to this and visual is key.) A dog has a better chance of learning and responding to &quot;No&quot; than a 10mo old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that if your child is an explorer wanting to touch and play with everything that's a great sign that the little brain is trying to form understanding of the world. The opposite would be of concern. Obviously it's your responsibility to control for dangerous things, but by all means let them explore. Get dirty. Eat dirt. It's natural and healthy. Reflexive/Experiential learning is the primary stage of learning development at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out these books: &quot;NurtureShock&quot;, &quot;Brain Rules&quot;, &quot;Children's Play: The Roots of Reading &quot;, and &quot;The Evolving Self&quot;. Learn about Mirror Neurons from &quot;Mirroring People&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T17:33:42.217" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-08-06T18:59:15.647" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could make it into a game, that also teaches the &lt;a href=&quot;http://zenhabits.net/the-getting-things-done-gtd-faq/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;GTD methodology&lt;/a&gt; for handling tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put a big box in the middle of the room, and together put all toys in the box. Then take out the toys one by one and decide where it goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This teaches handling incoming &quot;stuff&quot; one at a time as well as archiving it properly, and there are elements of suspense when taking toys out of the box (what will the next toy to sort be?) and achievement when the box is empty (Inbox Zero yey!). The actions involved are very simple and there is no decision paralysis. You are helping her which makes it more likely that she'll join in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T18:59:15.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-08-06T22:14:15.947" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Allow the problem to solve itself.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that any toys that aren't picked up, get placed into the &lt;strong&gt;Toy Void&lt;/strong&gt;. These toys can be given away to charity, or you could allow the child to retrieve one toy from the void whenever they successfully pick up their toys after being asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they don't pick up their toys after being asked, new toys will be added to the Toy Void, until no toys remain. Eventually, they will either pick up their own toys, or they will only have a few toys that you will have to pick up (or zero). If it gets to this point, you can allow them to have only one toy to play with once per day/week/etc., but only if they pick it up when you ask. If not, the problem will solve itself since the child wil not have any toys eventually by their own choosing. You are just helping them, by giving them fewer toys to pick up (win, win, right).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3054" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T22:14:15.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2012-08-06T22:36:52.330" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are in a jurisdiction that doesn't require car seats or booster seats for children 2 years old or older, it might be best just to use a seatbelt. Studies by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/steven_levitt_on_child_carseats.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Steven Levitt&lt;/a&gt; have shown that car seats are not as effective as seat belts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And so, anyway, here I am. It's not a fairy tale. It's a true story about the United States today, and the disease I'm referring to is actually motor vehicle accidents for children. And the free cure is adult seatbelts, and the expensive cure -- the 300-million-dollar-a-year cure -- is child car seats. And what I'd like to talk to you about today is some of the evidence why I believe this to be true: that for children two years old and up, there really is no real benefit -- proven benefit -- of car seats, in spite of the incredible energy that has been devoted toward expanding the laws and making it socially unacceptable to put your children into seatbelts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3054" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T22:36:52.330" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2012-08-06T22:47:00.370" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If they are old enough to use a booster seat but you can't fit one in, have a look at seat belt adjusters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got an Autosafe one for my youngest and it makes a difference. Admittedly we could always fit three car seats in, but it was a squeeze and we had to move them a bit to buckle all three in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The adjuster just brings the shoulder part of the belt down to an appropriate level:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/DueTA.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.extremeautoaccessories.co.uk/products.php?section=3119&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;the website&lt;/a&gt; for more info. Obviously this isn't a suitable alternative for seats for younger kids, as they need the head/neck support as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-08-06T22:47:00.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5766" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5771" CreationDate="2012-08-07T11:00:28.667" Score="5" ViewCount="44550" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 3-year-old son.  During the last few months we have observed him being strongly attached to his mom.  Wherever he goes, he needs his mom. He cries like crazy at any time he notices she is not with him. He wants his Mom &lt;strong&gt;all the time&lt;/strong&gt;. He cries if she is not there for even a second. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am worried about him. Is there a way to help him function even without his mother some of the time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please share your experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-18T12:15:29.480" LastActivityDate="2019-04-18T12:15:29.480" Title="How to remove a 3-year-old's &quot;over&quot; attachment to his mother?" Tags="|toddler|crying|attachment|mother|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5766" CreationDate="2012-08-07T18:12:44.523" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I have no easy answer for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember that crying is only a child expressing his opinion.&#xA;It's up to YOU to decide if that opinion is correct or not and whether it deserves attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, responding to crying is BUILT INTO us biologically and can't be ignored.&#xA;But your logical brain should always trump biology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your job as a parent is to decide IF anything should be done about a cry, and then either do it and see what happens...&#xA;Or...  You know, just grin and bear it...  It's what we parents have to do...:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So try not to respond instantly to a cry.&#xA;It's pretty difficult to do, but you've got to use your logic, not just always cave to your biology...:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 3, your son should be walking.  He should be exploring more things than just his Mom.&#xA;Make the little guy walk to GET to Mom.&#xA;Stuff like that.&#xA;But, really, nobody but you and your wife can truly answer that question :)&#xA;Good luck to ya !&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3022" LastActivityDate="2012-08-07T18:12:44.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-08-07T18:39:13.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, any time you need a child (or anyone, really) to do something that they're NOT in the mood to do, it's going to be an emotional struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It'll always be an emotional struggle, so here's the list of what &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; go through:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;is it worth the struggle?  (YES! getting your child to put away their toys IS worth the struggle)  But many of life's arguments are NOT.  At times, you may find yourself arguing about things like &quot;whether Barney should sing so loud&quot;.  In this case, CAVE and get on with life.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;have you explained ALL the logic and have they understood ALL the logic?  Some parents think that explanations are wasted on children.  I think they are what make children smart.  But it does take effort to explain EVERY little nitty detail and especially get all those details INTO the child's understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;can you change the mood?  Sometimes, ice cream is not bribery.  Sometimes tickling is a good idea.  Telling a joke CAN help a child pick up their toys.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;does the lesson need to be learned RIGHT NOW?  Sometimes, it's better to give up on the first or second attempt.  You must accept failure sometimes.  But don't give up.  That's pretty much the ULTIMATE rule of parenting - NEVER GIVE UP.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, my main rules of parenting are&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;logic should always trump emotion&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;you can't learn anything in a bad mood&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;never EVER give up on ANYthing&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3022" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-08T11:17:46.247" LastActivityDate="2012-08-08T11:17:46.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2012-08-07T18:40:02.553" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you really have to do anything? You found your way to atheism somehow, so your children can do it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could maybe ease things along a little, provide some tools? Religions, regardless of their merit, get a lot of their sticking power from group thinking, superstition and easy answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Group thinking&lt;/em&gt;: One thing to watch out for is the natural way children will segregate the world in &quot;us&quot; and &quot;them&quot;. I was raised a lax Catholic (now atheist) and I still remember that when I did my &quot;first communion&quot; there were a few kids that had their &quot;spring party&quot; instead and I was thinking how weird they were for doing that. Your kids may do the same or encounter the same, it would be good to be there when it happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore there's &lt;em&gt;superstition&lt;/em&gt;, basically pattern matching in overdrive, which would probably be good to be addressed as soon as it pops up. If you see your child stepping only on the white paving stones, maybe coming up with a white-black scheme together would turn that into exploration. Pattern recognition is good but superstition brings it to a potentially crippling thing. IMHO, religion enforces superstitious-like thinking and therefore being questioning and open about other possibilities gives that barb less of a hold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Easy answers&lt;/em&gt;: One thing you could do is provide you children with the tools to reason about questions of life. Since much of religion's power is the ability to provide answers to un-answerable questions, having some extra answers available won't hurt. If you've discussed &quot;why do we live&quot; and &quot;where does the world come from&quot; and &quot;is everyone equal&quot; etc from various points of view, religions become just other viewpoints.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, keeping an open viewpoint and encouraging critical thinking are probably the things to train in your kids. And if they end up being religious, hopefully they can pick one that makes them really happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastActivityDate="2012-08-07T18:40:02.553" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-08-07T22:02:44.270" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a slightly different take than the answers I've read here: listen to the child - &quot;there are too many toys&quot; - have you taken a look around? I bet you've got a lot of toys, and I bet your child needs almost none of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids (1, 2, and 4) love to play with a toy for 1 minute, then chuck it, and move on. It makes a tremendous mess. However, they will vacuum the house for HOURS. They will play outside on a home made water table for HOURS. They will hang out at the beach for HOURS. There's a pattern here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toys are just that, and the kids know it. They are not for doing anything 'real', and young children love things that are real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the age, give them real tools. Brooms, knives, drills, saws, rags w/ soap and water, etc. Things they see you use and that they value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That became somewhat of a tangent, but the point is, try to reduce the amount of clutter you all have to deal with. Leave only the bare minimum toys. Then clean up will be much simpler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="815" LastActivityDate="2012-08-07T22:02:44.270" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5766" CreationDate="2012-08-07T22:10:02.443" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people believe in attachment theory quite strongly, and would apply it to this type of case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child has an insecure attachment, the best approach is to try and secure that attachment. Make sure that you are not expecting your child to grow up too quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When mum has to go, she has to go, just step in there and try and comfort your little one as much as possible (don't shout or guilt or shame or convince your child to be quiet).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure you are honest with the child about when mum is leaving and coming back, even if the water works will start. Honest conversation will help the child learn what is happening and that it is ok&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When mum can be around, make sure she and the other adults in the household are as gentle and respectful as possible. The last thing you want is for the child to understand that mum is the only nice one available and that when she leaves, the child is vulnerable somehow.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps - it's just one perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="815" LastActivityDate="2012-08-07T22:10:02.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5772" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5774" CreationDate="2012-08-07T23:21:44.110" Score="4" ViewCount="766" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is 2 years and 9 months now. For a year now we've been in USA and we were buying him electronic toys (buttons, music, lights, shapes, numbers), so he is very sharp at those, he can say number up to 40, he can sing 10s of rhymes. So far all is well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But recently we are noticing that he is preferring toys over interaction. Only if toys are not noticeable, he will interact with persons who attracts him, specially females. We did get chance to watch how he interacts with other kids in USA as almost all kids were busy if not they were carrying toys which makes my kid grab that toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is, &lt;strong&gt;how to reduce my child's attachment to toys, and what type of child activities can we use as replacement?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It looks like no child shows interest in my kid. Is it okay to ask some one's child to interact with mine? Or ask their parents to help me out on my child's interaction with theirs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3055" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-13T12:02:52.707" LastActivityDate="2012-08-14T04:00:16.473" Title="How can I move my toddler's interest from toys to playmates?" Tags="|toddler|toys|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2012-08-08T01:29:03.303" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Profanity is habit forming. People who regularly swear in one type of situation will struggle to prevent themselves swearing in another situation (some people will be able to manage this better than others though).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For this reason, my family takes a lowest-common-denominator approach (or should that be highest?!). If a word is unacceptable at school, or at a friend's household, then it's unacceptable in our household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are situations where swearing is ok though; when children are developing their speech and vocabulary they tend to play with rhyming and pretend words. eg they might just go through a string of words like muck duck puck luck f**k ruck kuck huck and swear by chance (this has happened several times with my daughter). Avoiding paying attention on the swear word stated will mean they don't remember the word. If you scold them for it, they will learn that it's a word of interest to them sooner than they otherwise would. However, if other people (especially children) are around who know about the word spoken, you'll need to make a call on what's appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2089" LastEditorUserId="2089" LastEditDate="2012-08-09T04:03:56.233" LastActivityDate="2012-08-09T04:03:56.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5772" CreationDate="2012-08-08T12:36:32.913" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no way you can make your child not like to play with toys, and no reason to try. You can't force these things, and your child will resent you for trying. If your child is playing with toys more that's his choice and you have to let him make it. He wants to become more independent, and that's a normal and good thing. &#xA;If you want your child to interact with others then give him more social opportunities. For instance, put him in a play group where he meets other children regularly, or arrange play dates with other kids in the area. He'll make friends on his own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-08T12:36:32.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5772" CreationDate="2012-08-08T14:35:36.733" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of the answer is around you creating an environment where this can happen - children learn directly from you and the environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take them to places where they can meet other kids - play parks, softplay etc&#xA;You should interact with other parents to show a good example&#xA;When at home, make sure you play with your child and interact with other adults and children where relevant&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really - don't try and force anything, just &lt;strong&gt;show and enable&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And don't worry - my youngest loves sitting on her own playing in an imaginary world with her dolls, but is also the most social of my three when we do go to softplay. She used to require a particular teddy to go to bed, but slowly grew out of that over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-08-08T14:35:36.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5772" CreationDate="2012-08-09T01:17:06.800" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some kids are naturally a little more introverted than others, and two-year-olds are still sort of trying to figure out social interaction anyway.  What I see a lot of times with 2s is that they play around each other, but not so much &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; each other.  Now that my son is older (he's 4), he plays with kids his own age a lot, but sometimes he becomes a little overwhelmed and will drift off to play alone with blocks or puzzles or whatever.  And that's fine.  In fact, I think it's a useful skill for your child to have--the ability to entertain himself.  When he gravitates towards playing with toys rather than kids--even when kids his own age are around--it's probably because that's where he's comfortable.  Making friends is tough work and it's even harder to be the new kid.  Maybe get him involved in a playgroup or a class where generally the same kids are there every week--that way he doesn't have to worry about meeting new people/making new friends every time you take him because he'll all ready be familiar with the kids who are there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there is certainly nothing wrong with you taking his hand and saying, &quot;Look, those little girls and boys are playing in the sand box!  Do you want to play in the sandbox, too?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-08-09T01:17:06.800" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5772" CreationDate="2012-08-09T03:17:09.380" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Collaborative play&quot; is where children begin to play with other children directly. Before they move into that stage, they may play amongst other children, but tend to still be solo playing (called &quot;parallel play&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's quite normal for a 2 year old to still be in the parallel play mode of interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, don't do anything. Your kid is normal. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-08-09T03:17:09.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5537" CreationDate="2012-08-09T13:00:02.557" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered &lt;a href=&quot;http://fromscratchclub.com/2011/12/13/from-scratch-holidays-diy-natural-food-coloring/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;making your own&lt;/a&gt;? Some colors are really easy to make (yellow=turmeric powder, red=beets, etc.) but other colors are not too bad either. You avoid using too many chemicals/by products and it iss CHEAP! (1 cup of produce = 4oz of food coloring)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2012-08-09T13:00:02.557" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5772" CreationDate="2012-08-09T18:13:47.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child might be an introvert.  And that is perfectly okay.  There is nothing wrong with introverts, though an extrovert might not see it that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is okay for someone to prefer to play or work by himself most of the time.  Some people find it physically draining to be around others for long periods of time.  There is nothing wrong with them even though they are commonly misunderstood.  (This is coming from an introvert who married into a family of extroverts and is frequently called anti-social for not being able to be around them for long periods of time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So long as your child has the ability to get along with other children, I wouldn't worry too much about him.  Let him grow and develop knowing that he is alright.  Try reading up on different personality types so that you can see what his strengths may be and how to appreciate those strengths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3061" LastActivityDate="2012-08-09T18:13:47.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5766" CreationDate="2012-08-09T18:39:22.090" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Henry, you need to make sure that someone is there that is compassionate towards the child to ensure he is comforted when mom isn't around.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that I did for my little guy was let him carry around a picture of him and mom together.  When he would start crying I would let him know that mom had to go to work and would be home before he went to bed and asked him where his picture was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3058" LastActivityDate="2012-08-09T18:39:22.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5783" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5795" CreationDate="2012-08-09T18:58:13.153" Score="1" ViewCount="1994" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5772/2-yrs-and-9-months-old-toddler-attachment-to-toys&quot;&gt;2 yrs and 9 months old toddler attachment to toys&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son (2 yrs 9 months) used to have very good interaction with other kids, he used to sing rhymes with them, call them to play at his 2 yrs. A while ago (9 months back), my cousin's son (3 years at that time) hit, bite and kicked my son with in 15 seconds it all happened, my son cried whole night. And from that night, he stopped interacting with other children even if other kid is new and gentle, my son simply do not do any thing he just acts like other kid is not with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently in a play grounds, he had same experience with a 4 years old kid, Now my son scared of standing next to new child, he maintains at least half a feet distance with other kids. If a child approaching my son faster, my son gets scarred and walk's away from other kids way with scary body movements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question is: is this normal ? what should i do, to develop interaction skills with child. I do not have any relatives or any kids near by my place. We just started him sending to daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3055" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T09:42:54.293" Title="Toddler interacting with other peers" Tags="|toddler|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2012-08-13T12:02:29.570" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4558" CreationDate="2012-08-10T09:57:10.750" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not an item for the baby per se, but something absolutely essential for when baby comes home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Food&lt;/strong&gt;. Make sure somebody is available to buy groceries and cook some meals for you, at least for a couple of days and in any emergency, such as when you don't manage to sleep and are totally trashed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, establish:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A sleeping agreement&lt;/strong&gt;. There will be times when you and your partner are completely exhausted, more than you can possibly imagine, but the baby won't sleep. Worse still, the little one will scream or cry.  Rather than both staying up, one looking after the baby, the other offering support, adopt the policy that one person looks after the baby and the other sleeps or at least hides away from the screaming. Swap over every hour or so. This is crucial for survival if you have a collicy baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2012-08-10T17:20:47.587" LastActivityDate="2012-08-10T17:20:47.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="283" CreationDate="2012-08-10T16:11:19.650" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It wasn't that long ago that less well off families in the UK would all share a bed, or have a couple of beds for a large number of children, and in some developed countries there is no option but to fit families wherever they can - and they seem to get by.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your culture is one of more privacy between sexes, you may wish to segregate them, or they may wish to have some privacy. But as @Torben says, I don't think you need to force it, until they tell you they want to be separated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-08-10T16:11:19.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4558" CreationDate="2012-08-10T20:53:51.003" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some may see a video camera as unnecessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a new grandpa, looking back, I can tell you that it =IS= a necessity.&#xA;You will NOT be able to remember the kind of detail that a video camera preserves.&#xA;And keep the date/time display TURNED ON.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the kids are in grade school, THEN you can swap it out and use a regular camera.&#xA;Make sure you carefully back this stuff up, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I feel down, I play those old videos.&#xA;And maaaaaan, it really brightens your mood thinking back about how HARD it all was and that you DID it and that they were SOOOOO DAAAANG CUTE when they were sleeping and learning to walk and sitting up for the first time and peein' on ya and getting tickled and telling dumb jokes and all the things kids do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3022" LastActivityDate="2012-08-10T20:53:51.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5789" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5793" CreationDate="2012-08-10T22:47:04.867" Score="14" ViewCount="273" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always had my heroes as I grew up. I always liked to read about great people, and of course this more often than not meant read about great &lt;em&gt;men&lt;/em&gt;. On my time as a child very rarely important women of history were in the books I read or the documentaries I watched. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard more than once from female colleagues while in college that if more female models of success were presented to them as a child, they would feel better about their career choices and overall position in society. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kept thinking about it for a time, and now that I have a baby daughter I was thinking if it would be good for her if I made a particular effort to talk about the life of great women and give her books about it as she grows up. In one hand, this would perhaps make her less anxious about choosing her path in life. On the other, she might feel that I'm trying to tell her that I will only admire her if she becomes as successful as the women I'm talking to her about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think about it? Should I tell her about Hipatia, Cleopatra, Zenobia,  Boudica, Florence Nightingale and Marie Curie, the same way I was told about Alexander, Julius Caesar, Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know there's much more about history (and life) than great people of the past, but they seem to be powerful educational images. What do you think about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2900" LastActivityDate="2012-08-11T07:34:40.700" Title="Should I make a particular effort to present great women of history to my daughter?" Tags="|education|role-models|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5744" CreationDate="2012-08-11T00:44:41.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;With both my children, once they gained mobility they wanted to explore everything.  Any cupboard or drawer in reach was opened, anything on the ground went in the mouth, anything that could be picked up, torn, or shattered was duly so done.  Just keeping your eye on them wasn't enough; inevitably you'd turn your back and they'd be heading up the staircase or eating the cat food or digging out plants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... like others have said, you've got to child proof everything.  If you have fences, use them!  Arrange your furniture into walls so you can keep them in the family room while you empty the dish washer.  Block the stairs so they can't climb up, and put a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; sturdy fence at the top of the stairs.  Put locks on the knife drawer and the cupboard where the glass bowls are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't think of this as limiting them; actually by being so defensive you can &lt;em&gt;allow&lt;/em&gt; them freedom to roam and be independent, without needing to intervene continually.  Instead of scolding and corrective interactions, you can supply positive encouragement and assist them in their explorations.  Leave a few cupboards unlocked with safe things (metal pans, plastic containers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A parenting book I read had a point that, at this early age, &quot;The child's environment is the best teacher&quot;.  It gives reliable, consistent feedback - when you bonk your head on the table it always hurts, and always hurts the same way.  Allowing the child the freedom to explore safely, even if incurring a few bumps and bruises, is good and natural and will help them develop both mentally and physically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once and a while, and under very close supervision, allow them extra freedom to climb the stairs, explore forbidden areas, and dig through the locked up cupboards.  For instance, the drawer with the cat food gets opened at cat feeding time, and my son gets to help with this duty.  Explain the items, why they're dangerous or fragile, and why they have to be kept safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-08-11T00:44:41.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5789" CreationDate="2012-08-11T01:07:26.590" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you shouldn't necessarily present just great women, but talk to her about great role models, both male and female, and both ancient and modern - as children need historical/epic role models and current ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think if you just focus on historical figures, this can give a skewed view and possibly lead to anxiety as you said, so make sure that you list modern role models from a wide range of fields. This could include sporting heroes and heroines, successful businessmen and women, people in the arts etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-08-11T01:07:26.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2012-08-11T04:35:58.433" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good one is stuffed animals and role playing.  You can make a house out of pillows and put an animal in there, invite another animal in for tea, and see what happens.  You can create conflicts, have a &quot;bad guy&quot;, and then do conflict resolution.  That can be fun.  Be careful though.  Use your judgement as to what is appropriate for the animals to do, because they may take it and run with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also used to have a math game which I called The Bean game, which was only playable for a short time but helps to build math skill in a fun way.  I have no beans.  I need to go to the shop to ask for some beans.  He has 10 beans.  He gives me 3.  How many does he have left?  He gives me 2 more beans.  Now how many do we each have? (WARNING: this game gets boring quickly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-11T04:35:58.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5789" CreationDate="2012-08-11T06:46:35.467" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My teenage niece said to her mom who is a computer programmer who graduated from Harvard, &quot;Girls are not good at math&quot;. Imagine her mother's surprise! Of course we can only speculate how the teen came to that notion - friends, TV, advertising, teachers...who knows. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of media and factors that are stimulating our children that we can't control or know about 24/7. Your efforts might be offsetting a perception your daughter has that you don't know about. At the very least your efforts would show your genuine interest in your daughter's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would align your efforts with whatever your daughter is into at the moment so that it is a more natural conversation. If she's into biology, teach her about Rosalind Franklin and 'Watson and Crick'. If she's about to get an X-ray, tell her about Marie Curie's contributions and William Coolidge. If she's into music, have her listen to female and male musicians alike. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep it balanced and let her guide your teaching. Going totally one-sided and omitting say Einstein would be a great loss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More importantly, self-confidence and ambition are attributes you can greatly affect in your daughter's early years through encouragement and age-appropriate challenges. If she feels good about herself, she'll feel good about her decisions. Teach your daughter that it's never too late to try something new and a love for learning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-08-11T06:46:35.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5789" CreationDate="2012-08-11T07:34:40.700" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's a great idea to present her with many female historical figures, alongside the male ones. Kids identify with the heroes of stories they hear, and they identify more easily if there is more similarity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that in mind, I would also take care to expose her to children's stories where female characters have traits that you think are important. When (and where) I was growing up, the female characters were decidedly traditionally female, so my mom made up stories for me. Every night, she would get in bed with me and tell me a new story about a character who happened to have my name: a brave and confident girl, inquisitive, active, helpful, warm, who often went exploring in the forest (the main scene for all the stories). Other stories would revolve around three little birds, a girl, a boy and an unclear one (my language has the neutral gender, so the name matched), where the girl was always just a little bit more on top of the situation compared to the other two. I loved this time together, and I loved the stories, and I love the effort and care that went into telling them. Today, there's an abundance of kids' books out there with confident female characters, you just need to pick some nice ones. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-08-11T07:34:40.700" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5783" CreationDate="2012-08-11T15:29:47.543" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So my son went through some similar stuff a couple of years ago. He wouldn't interact with other kids and he didn't want to go to daycare at all. I spent some time observing at the day care and discovered that the teachers had a very relaxed attitude about bullying, and my son was being bullied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, he was reacting rationally. If other kids hit and bite, they need to be treated with caution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what we did was change his environment, moved him into a different school. It took &lt;em&gt;months&lt;/em&gt; for him to finally relax and start trusting his peers and his teachers. Since then he has gained a lot of confidence, and he's willing to entertain the concept that other kids might not be mean to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But of course, sometimes they are, and he had similar problems at summer camp this year, with some older kids picking on him. But in that case, with his added confidence from the better environment, he was able to find some friends and navigate the situation. He enjoyed going to camp, he just avoided the people who were mean to him. But he is feeling more cautious about kids he doesn't know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, this is a rational reaction. He is concerned that he is going to be picked on because he has been picked on before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kid isn't going to just start playing with strange kids. He thinks that they might hit him and bite him, and that's a totally rational fear for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think the key is to put your child in environments where he will have time to get to know other people, and to be patient and let him figure out that he can trust these people in &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; time, not yours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-08-11T15:29:47.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5796" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-12T16:29:36.323" Score="1" ViewCount="495" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was flying today and there was a very annoying 2 year old in the seat in front of me. Her mother was on an ipad most of the flight and let her do whatever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought to myself &quot;Ill never have an annoying kid like that&quot;. But then i realized that i have no idea how to go about that :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions welcome&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3071" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T10:16:20.987" Title="How can i make sure my kids are not annoying?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2012-08-13T11:21:27.370" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5783" CreationDate="2012-08-12T23:05:02.633" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Practice what to do in these situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Elicit some ideas from your boy (&quot;what could you do or say if someone hits you?&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then play the attacker, and have him use try those strategies. (A &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; loud &quot;NO!&quot; that gets the attention of adults and often stops attackers in their tracksis one of the best.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also want to teach him that sometimes pushing is okay, like when an biter won't stop. This way he isn't relying on others to protect him, and his confidence should build.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worked for my three-year-old and seven-year old. ^_^&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3072" LastActivityDate="2012-08-12T23:05:02.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5796" CreationDate="2012-08-12T23:17:12.853" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of it is teaching proper/expected behavior in various situations (&quot;This is not the playground, it's a flying death tube, look at how everyone else is sitting; that's how you should be sitting.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of it is knowing that kids are &quot;works in progress&quot; and therefore will inevitably be annoying at various times, and dealing with it. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least the kid wasn't BEHIND you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3072" LastActivityDate="2012-08-12T23:17:12.853" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5800" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5840" CreationDate="2012-08-13T00:22:32.210" Score="4" ViewCount="1033" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy is just closing in on 6 years of age. (thanks to p.se.com, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/443/what-are-some-ways-to-teach-a-child-how-to-spit-after-brushing-their-teeth&quot; title=&quot;learning how to spit&quot;&gt;he spits after he brushes his teeth&lt;/a&gt;) About a month ago his lost his two front teeth within a week of each other. The new teeth have both been coming in at a seemingly quick speed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My boy however has taken to gnawing. Primarily on the collar of his shirt, sometimes on other random (and not always acceptable) objects. I don't think it's intentional, but to deal with the changes in his mouth. Is this something I should discourage, encourage with appropriate things, or talk to a dentist about? He has been producing more saliva in the past week or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice appreciated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-08-17T01:23:18.900" Title="What to do about gnawing when Adult teeth start to come in?" Tags="|teeth|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5796" CreationDate="2012-08-13T09:27:23.580" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The real answer here is incredibly broad, but boils down to discipline and respect. Bringing a child up with consistent discipline means they know when to play and when to sit still; When to be active and when to be quiet. For those times they don't know, respect means they will listen to you and do as you guide/tell them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to get this level of discipline and respect you need to spend a lot of time with your child - they learn this by example and consistency - so once you have rules, you need to stick to them (as does your partner) because confusion in rules just confuses children, and they then will misbehave (deliberately or not) especially when tired, or stressed, as they may be during travel. At 2 you may think they are too young to understand rules, but they really aren't - they will be picking up on cues since they were much younger than this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for those occasions when it just doesn't work (being a realist here) have something interesting to do - have an interesting book you can read to your child, or have some crayons, or a snack, or anything they haven't seen before. Don't go to sleep or ignore your child - they only have short attention spans at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can vouch that this has worked on various long haul flights with my 3 kids - from ages of around 20 months upwards, but obviously your mileage may vary: I have always been a chilled out world traveller, so the stress levels in my family when travelling are pretty low :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T09:27:23.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5796" CreationDate="2012-08-13T10:16:20.987" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the above posts regarding discipline and respect fully and don't think I have much to add there. What I would say is have activities ready. For a child flying in an airplane is exciting and maybe a bit scary. It's a very novel environment, it's noisy, the sensations are strong. In that type of situation children have a hard time sitting still, even if they are disciplined, so have something, in fact many somethings, for them to do. Books, toys, and movies are all great ways to keep them occupied. Home something that they find comforting as well in case they are frightened. &#xA;If you can stick to their routines as much as possible you will also help them realize that while they are doing something different normal rules apply. &#xA;One last thing, airplanes are very dry and people dehydrate quickly on a plane. Make sure your child has plenty of food and lots to drink, on a long haul flight children can get ratty because they feel uncomfortable! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T10:16:20.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5532" CreationDate="2012-08-13T11:35:52.997" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Aspects to consider:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What materials do you prefer, or want to avoid? (wood, plastic, metals)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should the furniture be brand-new, or would you accept/prefer used? (flea market, eBay, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you have preferences regarding surface finish? (child-safe paint, untreated wood, blank metal, hardened glass, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What's the expected life span of the furniture you're looking for? (should last 2-4 years, or grow with the child until teenage years, or life &quot;forever&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Specific suggestions:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Desks:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I've always had much luck with visiting the local IKEA store (they're worldwide so I think this suggestion acceptable). They generally meet all the criteria I listed above. If you want a long-term solution then pick a model that is height adjustable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chairs:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Consider a relatively cheap office chair (wheels, swivel) that can be cheaply replaced as the child grows, or a simple 4-legged chair. You could also get something like a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stokke.com/en-us/highchair/tripp-trapp-product-concept/grow.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Stokke Tripp Trapp&lt;/a&gt; which is &quot;just&quot; wooden but can be a lifelong throne.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T11:35:52.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5722" CreationDate="2012-08-13T16:12:13.797" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My wife's interests aside, is there any real need to wean a child from breast milk or infant formula on purpose?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, there is no real &quot;need&quot; to wean a child from breastmilk on purpose if Mom is okay with prolonging breastfeeding and the child is developing fine. (Aside: after they are 12 months old you may offer an alternative milk - goat's milk or cow's milk - in lieu of infant formula). The World Health Organization (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/&quot;&gt;WHO&lt;/a&gt;) recommends breastfeeding up to 2 years old - &quot;Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/features/qa/21/en/index.html&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; has a good chart on making sure your child is well nourished during this transition period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do children lose interest in breast milk and infant formula naturally?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, &quot;if given the opportunity, most babies will breastfeed until they naturally outgrow the need, which appears to be sometime between two and a half and seven years of age&quot; (&lt;em&gt;The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding&lt;/em&gt;, La Leche League International, pg. 314). As children get older they will start preferring their drinks from a glass or sippy cup and more likely faster if they observe older children doing so. As the previous answer states, breastfeeding is also about a relationship. Children can relate that comfort they get from the breast to a transitional object like a &quot;lovey&quot;, stuffed animal, or a blanket. Mom can start including these objects during nursing to see which one the child takes to. Include the object in your bedtime routine so that she can gradually wean the night nursings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Plus, my daughter has already developed 12 teeth, so sometimes she accidentally bites and it hurts my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 16 month old has bitten me on occasion. Immediately when it happens, Mom should say &quot;no&quot; (or &quot;no&quot; in the primary language used) and remove the breast (insert a finger in their mouth to avoid hurting the nipple during removal) to teach the child. They don't want to hurt Mom. It has worked for me and I have been fortunate to have kept it down to 4 instances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T16:12:13.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5806" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5815" CreationDate="2012-08-13T16:32:39.333" Score="15" ViewCount="14474" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (currently 23 months old) attends an in-home daycare 5 days a week.  The daycare provider cooks homemade meals for the kids, and provides snacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By every report she gives, our son gives her absolutely no trouble when it comes to eating whatever she presents him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my wife and I are unable to get him to even taste most of the food we prepare, or even food we get at restaurants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a small selection (of rather eclectic diversity) of foods that he will gladly eat, and a few other foods that he will generally be willing to taste (e.g. anything that looks like ground beef, or is wrapped in a tortilla, he'll generally take at least a bite out of).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the vast majority of foods, when offered to him, will result in him saying &quot;no!&quot; and turning his head away.  Usually there is a small smile on his lips when he does this.  With some persistence, we can sometimes get a small amount of it past his lips, but usually only because repeated attempts seems to turn it into a game for him, and I can sneak in a tiny mouthful while he's laughing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically, we'll offer him a small amount of whatever we're eating.  When he refuses to try it, we'll then give him something else that we know he likes (chicken nuggets, hot dogs, baked beans, unsweetened apple sauce, just about any kind of soup, grilled cheese, homemade pizzas, etc.).  However, we'd really like him to at least &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; whatever we're eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried not offering anything else, and he simply will ignore the food and want to go and play (my wife is not comfortable letting him go without any food, so eventually he will get a snack, or some milk, some time after dinner is over).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried enforcing &quot;you can't leave until you at least try a bite&quot;.  That results in massive melt-downs that are wholly atypical for him.  Our longest foray down that road lasted over 45 minutes, ending with him sobbing uncontrollably after coming out of a short time-out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that he may simply be too young for &quot;you can't leave until you at least try a bite&quot;.  At the same time, it seems pretty clear that not trying food has become a game he plays with us.  He doesn't have any problem at daycare, but that may also be because he sees the other, older kids eating, and wants to emulate them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to get him to try new foods?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit to clarify:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The issue is not that he is refusing to eat meals, and is instead eating only snacks.  He is refusing to try some meals, but eats others.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;He's not refusing to eat dinner, and instead eating a dish of ice cream.  He's refusing to taste pork chop, but will eat a bowl of vegetable soup; he's turning up his nose at a hamburger to eat a taco (with veggies); or he's pushing away fish sticks to enjoy a homemade whole-wheat pizza with bbq chicken, onions, and green peppers.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-14T12:13:12.787" LastActivityDate="2018-10-11T06:38:38.620" Title="How can I get my toddler to eat as well for us as he does at daycare?" Tags="|toddler|food|eating|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-08-13T16:40:58.073" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some insights ... my daughter is 18 months old and we had the same kind of issues with her food a few months ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our doctor definitively said that there is no risk at this age to let them skip a meal or several. If she does not eat what we propose, we can safely not insist or offer anything else&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;my wife and I (also my mother who takes care of her quite often) have very different ways of feeding the kids. We have noticed that all of them work, but NOT TOGETHER! So now we decide before the meal how feeds her and nobody else interacts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Food in small pieces that she can pick up with fingers seems to work better. It can be healthy and simple too such as small vegetables cooked in the microwave.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also, she likes to eat things separately, such as meat first, then yogourt, then mashed potatoes. We discovered it was sometimes useless to have her eat potatoes before the desert.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What went best for us when she wanted a conflict like that is to simply ignore her for a few minutes (turn away or quit the room). So when she starts throwing away the food, we simply put it out of reach and wait a few minutes until she calms down. Fighting on the food never produced any positive results (from bottles to solid food now). So if he seems to enjoy this fight with you around &quot;tasting a bite&quot; I would quit it for a few weeks until he forgets about it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you allow any toys at the table? It seems much easier for us to feed her when she either has a doll, any toy she likes, or simply when we let her eat with her fingers. She also tries to use the spoon a little now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2018-10-11T06:38:38.620" LastActivityDate="2018-10-11T06:38:38.620" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-08-13T16:55:52.443" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your son is eating much better at daycare than at home then find out what sort of meals are being eaten there, and try to cook them on your own.  Try and make it more familiar around meal time, and as Michael notes above remove distractions at the table to keep things calmer.  If you can, try and get an idea of how meal times are handled at day care, it may also be the attitude of the day care provider where she has a no-nonsense attitude that your son responds to.  I know mine often acts out more at home with me and my wife, than he does when he is alone with other people, often he will also eat more at restaurants, as if the change of scenery is enough to get him to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also done things where we modified our eating location so that we had a slight change to make things different enough it seemed as if the excitement of the new location helped in getting my son past his reluctance.  Eating outside, if an option, can help - make it a picnic where you provide the same food at home and see if the new scenery helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We often left meals without my son eating much, but I provided healthy snacks that gave him the same nutrition as a meal without him knowing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T16:55:52.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-08-13T17:10:19.583" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My view of this whole question is &lt;em&gt;nature should take it's course&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is, the child will eat the healthy food &lt;strong&gt;if he's hungry enough&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look, you're not feeding him crap.  You're feeding him honest to goodness, great, healthy quality food.  As long as somewhere in his subconscious mind he knows &lt;strong&gt;there will be cake or cookies instead if I just hold out&lt;/strong&gt;, he's never going to eat healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all realize that snack foods have poor nutritional benefit.  High sugar foods can cause diabetes etc. I'm not dietician, all I know is &lt;em&gt;sugar has no nutrients in it but calories&lt;/em&gt; (hence the term &quot;empty calories&quot;).  What's more is sugar &lt;strong&gt;has a lot&lt;/strong&gt; of calories - 1 gram of sugar has &lt;strong&gt;4&lt;/strong&gt; calories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compare:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-eggplant-i11209&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;82 g of eggplant has 20 calories as well as a bunch of nutrients&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;82 g of sugar has 328 calories &lt;strong&gt;and no additional nutrients&lt;/strong&gt;.  Obviously extra calories you do not spend are stored away as fat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok now then, how're you going to get him to eat healthy food?  Simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make it &lt;em&gt;delicious&lt;/em&gt;.  Totally delicious.  Don't be afraid to use &lt;em&gt;olive oil&lt;/em&gt;, or other such ingredients to make it delicious. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fi.edu/learn/brain/fats.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Fats are used in brain development&lt;/a&gt;.  Balance it out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rest is yours.  You have to come up with a tack for minimizing junk food and maximizing good food.  If it's up to them, it's 100% junk food.  And that's no good for a growing human.  Some junk food is ok, but you really need to control the amounts.  The funny thing with junk food is that it is addictive, the more you have, the more you crave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really think that the reason he eats well over at the other person's house, is because subconsciously he knows what he's offered by her, is likely all he'll get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember children are complex creatures and in the brain there isn't only conscious decision - just like us (adults) children also have subconscious things going on that influences how they make decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T17:10:19.583" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4384" CreationDate="2012-08-13T17:53:06.843" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's really important that you help her maintain a healthy body weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to deal with a big appetite is to create her meals of mainly &lt;strong&gt;bulky vegetables with low energy content&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-eggplant-i11209&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Eggplant - 20 cal/82g&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-cauliflower-i11135&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cauliflower - 25 cal/100g&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-cabbage-i11109&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cabbage - 22 cal/89g&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-peppers-sweet-green-i11333&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;green peppers - 30 cal/149g&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-onions-i11282?size_grams=110.0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;onions - 44 cal/100g&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-tomatoes-i80399&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;tomatoes - 15 cal/85g&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-squash-summer-zucchini-includes-skin-i11477&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;zucchini - 20 cal/124g&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-fruit-vegetables-ic1122&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;rest of list&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, 100g of white bread has &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/usda/white-bread?portionid=61551&amp;amp;portionamount=100.000&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;266 calories&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So vegetables are &quot;inefficient&quot;.  You can all eat a great deal of these &lt;strong&gt;and still only derive a few calories from them&lt;/strong&gt;.  Still, they take just as long to move through your digestive tract, so you will feel full.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using &lt;em&gt;a large proportion&lt;/em&gt; of vegetables in each meal is the best way to handle this by far because &lt;em&gt;she can eat as much bulky vegetable as she likes&lt;/em&gt;, get totally full, but not gain weight because the energy content of these foods is low.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Of course don't feed her only vegetables&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do a good job preparing the vegetables and making them part of her meals.&lt;/strong&gt;  Make delicious creamed soups (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fi.edu/learn/brain/fats.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fats are essential and help build the brain&lt;/a&gt;), or steam them, make an omelette with 50% vegetables.  Have salads on hand and make sure you set an example by eating them too.  Make pork with steamed vegetables on the side.  Pay attention to what she likes, and be committed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T17:53:06.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-08-13T18:13:31.903" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a few suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Take a day off work and ask the day care provider if you could observe a day to watch what allure is making your child want to eat. Observe. Emulate. It could be a difference in presentation - at home you may have set meal time hours and sit down but the day care provider could be doing a buffet presentation and kids eat when &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) At 23 months old, children are seeking their independence. Are you giving your child foods they can easily feed themselves? My 2.5 year old niece is considered a picky eater. Her parents and grandparents still spoon feed her. I have made her steamed broccoli and grilled cheese (cut in &quot;fingers&quot;) allowing her to feed herself and she ate plenty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Try giving your child the power over preparing the food. Take them to the grocery store to pick out some veggies and have them help (washing and help them cut with your hand on their hand with the knife) and let them observe you cook it. Tell him all the steps you are doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let your child use a cookie cutter (most of them have a rubbered top to safely push down on) to cut up a sandwich into a fun shape&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let your child do some mixing. There are miniature versions of a lot of cooking utensils like whisks and spoons&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I let my 16 month old daughter stir the eggs in the pan when we make scrambled eggs. I carry her and of course take every precaution to make sure she doesn't get burned. She stirs for a few seconds then I say it's my turn. I still carry her while I cook the eggs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Get a kid sized table and chair for your son to eat at. Teach your son to set his table, clear it, and clean it. Put his plates, glass, spoons, and fork on a shelf that he can reach on his own. This is a Montessori suggestion for &quot;practical life exercises&quot;. You show the child how to set the table the same way each time because kids like repetition. Clear the table the same way each time as well and remind them to push their chair in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T18:13:31.903" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-08-13T20:29:53.323" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is what works for us (our eldest daughter is 18 months old)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show the example ! Tidy your things in front of her, and have her involved. Concretely she loves to help in doing the laundry, putting small things in the bin or putting her brother's clothes to the washing basket.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Install a routine : we clean up her room every night between supper and bath. Same with the dining room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do it with her ! She helps more or less (more and more with time going) but at least she feels involved and does not feel it is a chore, but just something we do every day together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not make a fight about it. This is probably different with an older kid, but for us every time we picked up a fight it ended with tears and frustration on both sides. Now unless she is physically endangered (such as standing on a chair or a table) we do not show any anger or impatience.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T20:29:53.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4479" CreationDate="2012-08-13T20:55:54.940" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a great question which really appeals to me. I am an avid gamer (video games, board games ...) and I feel concerned with how I will educate my kids (18 months and newborn at the moment) with regards to games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, I'd like to challenge the question itself. I understand that you want to have your kids get along better in real life. For me competing against someone else usually leads to getting along with him. For instance, when I was 8 or 10, I played competitive chess in an association and made friends my age there. It continued all my life with competitive video games (RTS mostly). So maybe there are some fair games (puzzle games like Tetris come to my mind) which really boast competition but do not lead to a fight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, back on-topic. Cooperation can be more or less direct in games. Some suggestions :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Again with Tetris, it can be played in teams. At 30, I still have some really good fun playing 2V2 or 2V1 or even 3V1 to balance things out. Same with Mario Kart.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;FPS games in which you need to cover the back of your friend to survive (probably uncommon on a DS, I think of games like Counter Strike in PVP or any survival/coop mode in PVE)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Same idea with coop Tower Defense games, or Real Time Strategy (probably a bit complex for 8-year old)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;An asymetric game such as The Lost Vikings or Gobliins where you play really different characters and need to cooperate to solve puzzles&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Playing one instance of a game together : solving puzzles (point&amp;amp;click ala Monkey Island, Prof. Layton) but also finding better strategies (I used to collaborate with my roommate playing Starcraft, I was better on a strategical level, he had better tactics)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Role Playing Games some times involve trading and collaborating (I heard about Pokemon games)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For specifically DS games, you may check forums such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gamespot.com/forums/topic/26124622&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this thread&lt;/a&gt; or games like Mario Party&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastActivityDate="2012-08-13T20:55:54.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-08-13T21:04:25.893" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children learn very early on that they can get Mum and Dad to do anything - at daycare, I'm assuming the staff don't bend quite as much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently it sounds like your son knows that if he waits he will get the food types he wants. Clever, eh :-) The only real solution is to stick to a rule of &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;After&lt;/strong&gt; you have finished your dinner you can then choose a follow up if still hungry. If you don't finish, you just don't get the snack.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will cause some upset at first, and you have to make sure you are both strict on this, or the game will just change to playing you against one another to get what he wants (like I said, they are the world's best social engineers!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he realises he just won't get what he wants and will just go hungry things should change - and don't worry about children going hungry: our doctors all agreed that once they are hungry enough they &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; eat anything, and that point will come a long way before any harm. At least at that age - teenagers have a much more complicated scenario, apparently, so I'm not looking forward to that...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-08-14T12:22:28.177" LastActivityDate="2012-08-14T12:22:28.177" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5772" CreationDate="2012-08-14T04:00:16.473" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is  typical age for Parallel Play.  Playing together happens gradually as they get older.  Your child will most likely interact more fully with others in a year or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3017" LastActivityDate="2012-08-14T04:00:16.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5818" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5863" CreationDate="2012-08-14T09:51:46.797" Score="5" ViewCount="1893" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's all in the question I think. Assume varying flight times, but one long distance flight of more than 12 hours.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3079" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-14T10:53:37.220" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T18:22:55.983" Title="How many plane flights per year are considered unhealthy for a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|travel|flying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5818" CreationDate="2012-08-14T11:04:34.370" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe that there are any particular health risks specifically associated with flying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;What factors do you consider as health-related?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Noise level?&lt;/strong&gt; Airplanes are loud, and a long flight will be a nuisance to anyone's ears, but the noise level is nowhere near a medical concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Air pressure?&lt;/strong&gt; Healthy ears can equalize the air pressure in the cabin. The changes in air pressure are so small that they can't affect health directly (as opposed to, say, divers' &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decompression_sickness&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;decompression sickness&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Air conditioning?&lt;/strong&gt; Recycling the breathing air of hundreds of passengers can't be healthy, some say. Keep in mind that the air is thoroughly filtered, and that outside air is added. You're not sitting in a closed system for 12 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cosmic radiation&lt;/strong&gt; should not be a concern, according to this question:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2323/is-cosmic-radiation-a-concern-for-a-pregnant-airplane-passenger&quot;&gt;Is cosmic radiation a concern for a pregnant airplane passenger?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Airport X-ray security?&lt;/strong&gt; The airport scanners' radiation danger &lt;em&gt;&quot;is believed to be negligible for an individual. If 1 million people were exposed to 520 scans in one year, one study estimated that roughly four additional cancers would occur due to the scanner, in contrast to the 600 additional cancers that would occur from the higher levels of radiation during flight.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backscatter_X-ray#Health_effects&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-08-14T11:09:47.750" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-08-14T14:35:12.853" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband developed a &quot;two spoons&quot; approach that works well with our son (16 months). Mind you, it took some crying until he agreed to the rules of the game, but in the long run I think it's for the best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The approach is to offer him two spoons with different things. Both are shown to him, both are held in front of him. In one spoon, there is something that he surely wants to eat, and in the other, something he's being picky about at the moment. The rule is, once both spoons are eaten, both get refilled. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We never push too hard, and if he's clearly unhappy eating the thing he's not keen on at the moment, we stop after one or two spoons. But he does try it, does chew, does swallow, and gets rewarded with the thing he likes immediately after. After a while, we let him continue eating only the thing he prefers. Like you, all the things offered are healthy, and at mealtimes, all are savory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-08-14T14:35:12.853" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5800" CreationDate="2012-08-14T21:25:48.420" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know, but it can't hurt to be extra sure he's getting plenty of calcium, iron, and zinc with those teeth coming in - shortages of anything can cause odd cravings.&#xA;Also, consider whether he has some lactose intolerance if he gets plenty of food with calcium and iron - he might not be getting all the nutrients from it. Add in children's chewables if he's not taking them already - Vitamin C helps with iron absorption. And a rapid growth spurt can put a drain on everything anyway. BB! - K &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3080" LastEditorUserId="3080" LastEditDate="2012-08-14T21:40:11.990" LastActivityDate="2012-08-14T21:40:11.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5822" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5826" CreationDate="2012-08-15T01:12:48.157" Score="3" ViewCount="184" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although I haven't used the &quot;because I'm older&quot; or &quot;because I'm your dad&quot; argument before with a child who questions my reasons, I know many adults who do.  Is this harmful in any way?  I have taught my children that age is never a reason why somebody is correct, and people need to be able to back up their arguments.  I have studied some psychology, and have read about the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Milgram Experiment&lt;/a&gt; and I'm scared that my kids will develop this kind of blind obedience to authority figures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TLDR&lt;/strong&gt; Is age or experience an acceptable &quot;argument winner&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3082" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-04T12:09:48.853" LastActivityDate="2012-10-28T23:48:59.800" Title="Using experience as a reason for correctness" Tags="|communication|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-08-15T02:33:52.530" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers tend to prefer simple foods - ie carrot sticks, broccoli, meat by itself to complex foods - ie soups, salads, etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offer a variety of foods at every meal. Include some that you know he will eat and others that he doesn't like or has never seen before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers need to see a food many times before they feel comfortable with it and will want to try it. Adults can be convinced to try something the first time they see it. Toddlers may need to be familiar with the food 5 or more times before they are willing to try it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set an example by eating the food but don't make a big issue about it if he doesn't eat his.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids will often go through phases and will stop eating something that was their favourite from month to month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BONUS: If you want them to try something, make sure it is on your plate but not on the toddlers plate. This worked very well with one of our toddlers - the food tastes better from someone elses plate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3083" LastActivityDate="2012-08-15T02:33:52.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5824" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-15T02:39:50.407" Score="3" ViewCount="8377" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are debating if a Play Yard will be more practical than a crib. We believe that it will be safer than a crib, and also easy to carry around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we don't know is if the play yard mattress will provide the same back support and comfort level that a baby (new born) will require to grow healthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2078" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2012-08-15T13:21:17.290" LastActivityDate="2012-08-23T23:18:49.953" Title="Will a Play Yard provide the same comfort and back support to the baby as a Crib?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|crib|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5825" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-15T08:08:19.800" Score="1" ViewCount="227" Body="&lt;p&gt;All bedwetting questions here, as well as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_enuresis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia article&lt;/a&gt; deal with treating the problem when it occurs, after it already started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that aritlce is says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Bedwetting has a strong genetic component. Children whose parents were not enuretic have only a 15% incidence of bedwetting. When one or both parents were bedwetters, the rates &lt;strong&gt;jump to 44%&lt;/strong&gt; and 77% respectively&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my daughter has high chance to become a bedwetter - still didn't discuss it with my wife, so it might even be 77%. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to know if there is anything I can do as parent to help my daughter &quot;in advance&quot;? I won't go for medical treatment of course, was thinking maybe giving more focus when potty training her on certain things and explain. This is all pretty far in the horizon as we still did not start potty training her, but better be prepared in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anyone has same experience or some good advice, it will be welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T04:02:00.940" Title="Any way to prevent bedwetting before it's actually starting?" Tags="|toddler|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5822" CreationDate="2012-08-15T09:07:19.613" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;because I'm older&quot;, or &quot;because I said so&quot; are a cop-out. When I was a child I thought is was a cop-out when a parent said it, and I still think so. It's an answer when a parent is losing patience and/or doesn't have time to explain. It is better to say &quot;I don't have time to explain, and this is how it has to be&quot; as it's more constructive. It says to the child, &quot;I do want you to understand but there isn't an opportunity&quot; rather than &quot;I don't care if you know why or not&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a parent always says &quot;because I said so&quot; and never gives them any reasons then their children won't learn anything, and that would be harmful and I could see it hurting a child's self-esteem. That would have to be a default answer rather than the occasional use though. Every parent's going to say it at some point or another, and although it isn't going to satisfy a child it isn't going to hurt anything. If you show your child love and attention and teach them as much as you can then all is probably going to go well and the occasional short answer isn't going to make any difference. Children want to know why because they want to understand the world and that's a good thing, occasionally you won't have the time and that's fine, they have to understand that too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-15T09:07:19.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4849" CreationDate="2012-08-15T12:06:04.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Set a routine and stick to it, and their body clock should adjust. Make sure the get ready for bed routine is in the same order each night too. For example, bath, put pjs on, wash face, then brush teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try the Gro clock which works great in my experience. This is the Gro clock here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babymonitorsonline.co.uk/baby-nursery-accessories/gro-clock-sleep-trainer.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babymonitorsonline.co.uk/baby-nursery-accessories/gro-clock-sleep-trainer.html&lt;/a&gt; you can set it to two different wake up times which is handy for weekend and weekday wake up times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3085" LastActivityDate="2012-08-15T12:06:04.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5737" CreationDate="2012-08-15T12:11:20.157" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;No I don't think you should worry about hearing loss, unless it was happening often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use a BT monitor which has a dect signal and I don't get any feedback with it. If you are interested to know, here is the one I have: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babymonitorsonline.co.uk/audio-baby-monitors/bt-baby-monitor-250-hd-audio.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babymonitorsonline.co.uk/audio-baby-monitors/bt-baby-monitor-250-hd-audio.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3085" LastActivityDate="2012-08-15T12:11:20.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5824" CreationDate="2012-08-15T13:00:45.940" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe what you are referring to as a &quot;Play Yard&quot; I call a &quot;Pack-and-Play,&quot; if that is correct here is my answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use a pack and play when traveling, mainly at grandma's house, and my son does not appear to have a problem with it. But then again he will sleep almost anywhere without complaint. In a swing, on the floor, a car seat, while being held, etc... And he is rarely on his back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I do not think the slightly padded bottom of the pack and play is providing the comfort of a foam or spring mattress in a proper crib. Maybe you could find or make a mattress to fit the pack and play, but they are usually square and mattresses are usually not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a newborn, for the first couple of months we propped our son up an a pillow, one of those curved breast feeding pillows, and he would sleep anywhere at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2012-08-15T13:00:45.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5824" CreationDate="2012-08-15T20:23:00.997" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For babies and kids be wary of mattresses that are too soft (ex: a water bed = big no no) that could suffocate the baby. You want a mattress that is firm but also comfortable. If you know you will definitely use a play yard, buy that first. They have travel play yards (i.e. &quot;Graco Pack and Play Travel Play Yard&quot;) catered to newborns too that allow you to raise the level and then you can lower it as they grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby will let you know if they are uncomfortable and you can make modifications:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buying a thicker mattress or doubling up the mattress&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting a crib&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of parenting is trial and error. We bought a crib and didn't really used it either. Our baby napped in a swing the first 3 months. It was nice to have a place to put them where you know they won't hurt themselves though when you need a break or both hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="68" LastEditDate="2012-08-23T23:18:49.953" LastActivityDate="2012-08-23T23:18:49.953" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5800" CreationDate="2012-08-15T21:01:03.007" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I'm assuming your child does not have a disorder such as autism or ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your child might have an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.earlyinterventionsupport.com/parentingtips/behavior/oralfixation.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;oral fixation&lt;/a&gt;. If that is the case, you might want to try talking to an occupational therapist if you can't come up with a work around yourself at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would figure out the root cause because it can be something he might get teased about at school. Some people have tried deflecting the chewing to appropriate items:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chewing tubes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gum - but he might be too young for that&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he likes the feel of fabric, you can make a bracelet out of cloth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually it's just a sensory need that food is not giving him satisfaction of. You can try giving him more eclectic food flavors/textures. You can also try to see if he would rather lick his teeth with his tongue and perhaps the feel of the teeth is enough stimulation. Not sure if you want to change a habit for a different habit though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, observe what type of situations cause him to do this: stress, fear, etc. so that you can better help him deal with his emotions if it is emotionally caused. Of course, his dentist would have great insight as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-08-15T21:01:03.007" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5825" CreationDate="2012-08-15T21:39:50.027" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend not stressing out about bedwetting in general because that might cause anxiety for your daughter. &quot;Serious long-term emotional problems can result from angry scolding or punitive attitudes towards accidents or resistance&quot; (&lt;em&gt;The Baby Book&lt;/em&gt;, pg. 585). Prep your mind mentally in advance because accidents WILL happen. It's part of them figuring out how to listen to their body. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing you can do is to limit fluids at a certain time before bedtime to help prevent an accident. If an accident does occur, be supportive and let her know that timing takes practice. Have her help you pull out the bedsheets and put new ones on to teach her to own some responsibility of it though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-08-15T21:39:50.027" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2012-08-16T03:40:52.433" Score="2" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Don't belittle her interests.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't need a title for that, I just want to scream it at you.  What she's interested in at 16 is &lt;strong&gt;socialization&lt;/strong&gt;.  If you haven't seen &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0377092/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mean Girls&lt;/a&gt;, go see it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/aAxLv.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That movie is based on a book (I have yet to read), called &lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/1400047927&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Queen Bees and Wannabees&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you browse tumblr at all, it is very interesting.  What it is is a huge web of people socializing, talking, and interacting.  For a teenager, being liked and having friends is everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Should you do something?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think the advice to &amp;quot;leave her alone&amp;quot; is very bad, or at least misstated.  If you &amp;quot;leave her alone&amp;quot;, then you're basically neglecting her and leaving her to her own devices -- but she isn't old enough for that yet.  That's why you're her parent and she lives with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should never &amp;quot;&lt;em&gt;leave her alone&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot; per se, but you should help guide her with a relaxed hand.  Don't overrestrict her, or overfollow her, or micromanage her time.  But you should manage her from a high level.  Is she performing satisfactorily in school?  &lt;em&gt;Then she can do whatever she wants with her free time, including tumblr&lt;/em&gt;.  Not performing?  Then she doesn't get all the privileges.  Restrict her time on the internet &lt;em&gt;by turning off the router or otherwise disconnecting it&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Do well or see closed doors&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't know what she wants to do, &lt;em&gt;she must perform well in school so options are open to her&lt;/em&gt;.  You have to impress upon her that &lt;em&gt;having poor grades means closed doors in the future&lt;/em&gt;.  Not going to university means you can only now work &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; subset of jobs.  Having a job in high school such as cashier is a good motivator to &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; a university education, so that more job options become open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T03:40:52.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5825" CreationDate="2012-08-16T04:02:00.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have four kids. My youngest two (twin boys) are four, my daughter is six and my son is seven.  Of the four, my youngest son (youngest by two minutes) has absolutely no problems staying dry through the night.  I honestly don't remember the last time he had an accident.  His twin brother is the exact opposite and always needs diapers/pull-ups at night.  My daughter usually stays dry through the night, but has occasional problems. My oldest has the most problems. He has problems staying dry through the night and occasionally will have accidents during the day.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried everything with my oldest to try to get him to stop bed wetting.  We tried alarm clocks, cutting fluids before bed, rewards, etc... We recently bought a book called, &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1581101562&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Waking Up Dry: A Guide to Help Children Overcome bed wetting&lt;/a&gt;. Out of all of them, the book seems to be the most helpful, but not in the way you might thing. The book helps the child and parent understanding the underlying causes of bed wetting and make the child (and parent) realize wetting the bed does not mean there is anything wrong with you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if I had to give any suggestion, I would first suggest by reading this book or some similar material. It will help give you a good understanding of the causes and techniques to prevent bed wetting.  Second, I would suggest not punishing or scolding your child .  I honestly and regretfully have to admit that we made this mistake.  Lastly, relax.  Bed wetting is normally not a serious medical condition.  It is more likely to be emotionally harmful than physical harmful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3086" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T04:02:00.940" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3600" CreationDate="2012-08-16T04:32:14.490" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have four kids of my own and spend a lot of time watching other people's kids.  What I have found is that they all develop language skills at a different paces. As a toddler, I wouldn't do anything other than making sure you pronounce the word correctly.  My youngest son calls them sino sores. Whenever he mispronounces it, I usually repeat it back to him while clearly enunciating the word.  &quot;You are right! That is a dinosaur!&quot;.  Make sure that they can see your mouth and try to over exaggerate the movements.  I have a daughter in speech therapy and this is one of the suggested techniques.  If you find the problem continues as he gets older, this may be an indication of a speech problem.  However, problem with a few words is not an indication of a speech problem.  I would only start worrying if he has problems pronouncing certain sounds like s or l.  Also, I wouldn't worry about that until they are older.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3086" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T04:32:14.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2012-08-16T11:27:17.210" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As nobody has mentioned it yet, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Take care of yourself&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. A tired jetlagged parent will not effectively parent to a 20 month old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See also a useful Question on &lt;a href=&quot;https://travel.stackexchange.com/questions/2841/how-do-you-prepare-for-long-haul-flights&quot;&gt;Travel&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3007" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:52:14.960" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T11:27:17.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5838" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-16T18:49:47.767" Score="6" ViewCount="988" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently expressed concern to my midwife about the use of prenatal ultrasounds. She scoffed at the idea that they could do harm and proceeded to use a Doppler device to monitor our baby's heart rate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After which, we did a bit of digging and found some resources that cast doubt on the idea the ultrasounds are safe and that the use is justifiable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would you be able to read the following articles and provide comments as to the validity of the statements? Any additional comments or resources are very much appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/ultrasoundrodgers.asp&quot;&gt;http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/ultrasoundrodgers.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://drbenkim.com/articles-ultrasound-pregnancy.html&quot;&gt;http://drbenkim.com/articles-ultrasound-pregnancy.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fda.gov/Radiation-EmittingProducts/RadiationEmittingProductsandProcedures/MedicalImaging/ucm115357.htm#rb&quot;&gt;http://www.fda.gov/Radiation-EmittingProducts/RadiationEmittingProductsandProcedures/MedicalImaging/ucm115357.htm#rb&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1538990/?tool=pmcentrez&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1538990/?tool=pmcentrez&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3087" LastEditorUserId="3087" LastEditDate="2012-08-16T23:44:59.647" LastActivityDate="2012-08-24T00:47:49.913" Title="Are prenatal ultrasounds safe?" Tags="|safety|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-08-16T20:38:57.667" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the things none of the other commenters have commented on is the group effect of daycare. Even if you did everything exactly the same, same food, same presentation, same time of day, simply the fact that other toddlers are eating it can make some picky eaters suddenly a lot less picky. It seems to be a common phenomenon at daycares.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as what you can do about it at home, you can control what is offered, and when it is offered. Do not offer ice cream as a substitute for dinner, if that is not an acceptable alternative in your book. Do not offer him snacks close to lunch time if they're spoiling his appetite. It is okay to bring back dinner back out of the fridge, cold, and offer it again if he demands a snack after dinner. Normal, healthy children will not intentionally starve themselves, if they are convinced it's this food or no food, they'll almost always choose to eat what is presented. If they think they can sweet talk mommy into a treat or more yummy snack instead, they'll keep pushing till you give in. Consistent parenting between you and your spouse and other adults in your household (if any) is important in this regard, agree on what's ok and what's not and stick to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cases you may find better success if you adjust your mealtimes to fit your child's schedule, rather than expecting them to adjust to your schedule choices. If they're having snacks because lunch or dinner is too late, offering lunch or dinner earlier, and at the same time every day (ideally, matching the times the meals are at daycare), you may find  he'll eat a lot more. I know my son usually gets hungry for lunch earlier than I do, and if I serve him food when he's hungry, he'll eat a lot more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at your child's age, he is probably also at the stage where he wants to feel in control of his environment, and choosing what and when or whether to eat is one of the few things he truly control. Giving him simple choices in regards to food may help him exert his control, and deflect the battle from whether or not he eats to whether he'd rather have cheddar cheese or string cheese, or whether he wants meat or just fruit, what part of his plate should you pour his ketchup on, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T20:38:57.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5800" CreationDate="2012-08-16T20:56:13.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would be inclined to think that if he just got two new first adult teeth in they are quite sharp, and causing minor discomfort which gnawing relieves to some degree. It's easy to forget exactly how incredibly sharp brand new teeth that just broke through the gums are, before they've had time to become dulled through eating and other ordinary activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, I would call your child's dentist and ask for suggestions about how to direct this craving to gnaw. It may be that what works for teething toddlers works for new adult teeth as well, a pain reliever (Children's Tylenol or Children's Advil), or chewing on something hard or cold, perhaps frozen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-08-16T20:56:13.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5800" CreationDate="2012-08-17T01:23:18.900" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gnawing or grinding is usually a response to itchy or agitated gums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't suggest encouraging it -- he will do it naturally, you don't need to get crazy about it - just discourage it and see if his gums are itchy.  If they are, he can  lightly massage the gums with a very soft bristle toothbrush (I believe he can do this without damaging his gums as long as they are not bleeding.  Speak to your dentist about exactly what you should do if his gums are itchy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally gnawing is generally something you should try to minimize, but also accept that it's inevitable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-17T01:23:18.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="264" CreationDate="2012-08-17T01:25:47.400" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bruxism is normal and natural and completely unpreventable.  Not brushing the teeth correctly will increase bruxism due to gum irritation.  Clean your teeth, floss, and forget about the rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-17T01:25:47.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5838" CreationDate="2012-08-17T02:02:55.187" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ultrasonic waves cause some heat and vibration, so prolonged exposure can theoretically have a negative impact.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last article you cite shows 30 minutes of exposure in fetal mice can mildly disrupt their neuronal development. Rat neuronal development occurs much more rapidly than human development.  The rat's gestational period is about 23 days, compared with around 260 for humans, so disrupting it in significant ways is easier to do with relatively short exposures.  In other words, 30 minutes of rat gestational time is roughly equivalent to 300 minutes of human gestational time. Using doppler to measure heart rate, and even the typical one-off 19-week fetal scan to check for abnormalities and determine the sex of the fetus, does not take anywhere near this amount of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The FDA article mentions that the exposure is not particularly harmful, but as with any radiation exposure, it should be used sparingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other two articles are not particularly reputable.  As with anything, there will always be risks.  You probably shouldn't have weekly hour-long sonograms, but a one-minute doppler scan carries such a low risk that personally, I would consider taking a hot shower and driving on a bumpy road to be riskier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-08-17T02:02:55.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5846" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-17T15:53:48.643" Score="9" ViewCount="14152" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old son won't fall asleep without having someone in his room with him. He doesn't want to be touched or held. He just wants you to sit in the chair. And after he does go to sleep he wakes up about 4 to 5 hours later, crying and screaming and is out of his bed and by the door. I go to him and give him a hug and put him right back in his bed. If I walk out he screams and won't go back to sleep for the rest of the night. If I stay he goes right back to sleep. But he wakes right back up when I walk out of his room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm at a loss as to what to do. I've tried lots of stuff and nothing seems to work. It's almost as if he is having separation anxiety. I dont know what to do. Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3091" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-14T12:33:05.910" LastActivityDate="2019-08-14T12:33:05.910" Title="What to do about a 2-year-old who won't sleep without someone else in the room?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|separation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5847" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-17T16:10:23.680" Score="9" ViewCount="514" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 16 month old daughter just witnessed her grandmother chasing and proceeding to bash a mouse to death. My daughter was within 4 feet of the death site. She was pretty shocked and asked to pacify after. She didn't cry but she was a little upset. I told her that &quot;mice are very dirty&quot;. She has helped me find and kill flies and mosquitoes around the house before. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is very fond of animals. I want her to be compassionate to animals but how do I make sure she isn't in an episode of &lt;em&gt;Hoarders&lt;/em&gt; later on because she can't find it in her heart to remove mice from her home? This is along the lines of a previous question asked: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/427/how-do-i-teach-my-toddler-to-not-abuse-animals&quot;&gt;How Do I Teach My Toddler Not To Abuse Animals&lt;/a&gt; but how do you make the distinction between compassion and cleanliness? How do you teach the difference between pets and vermin?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; We don't have pets. Our relatives don't have pets either. She has been to homes and even spent the night at homes that have pets though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit#2:&lt;/strong&gt; We were watching &lt;em&gt;Hickory Dickory Dock&lt;/em&gt; on YouTube and when the mouse ran down the clock, she was bashing it with the remote... :/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:35:21.593" Title="How to teach children the difference between pets and vermin?" Tags="|hygiene|animal-interaction|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5848" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5851" CreationDate="2012-08-17T17:27:33.523" Score="4" ViewCount="196" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had gotten a bump on her head and I read online to ice it and give them a treat while you are icing their head to distract. I didn't do a treat because I didn't want her to think that to get something unique/fun, she had to hurt herself for it. Do you think I'm denying her comfort by not providing a treat? If so, what would be an appropriate treat for an injury?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-08-23T15:56:00.347" Title="Will treats after a fall promote self-inflicted injuries?" Tags="|injury|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5849" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2452" CreationDate="2012-08-17T20:12:19.377" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some things to keep in mind... allergies, sensitive taste buds, extra sensitive mouth, teething... let her &lt;em&gt;lead&lt;/em&gt; you!  I love the suggestions about having her sit at meal times and model eating with you.  We had our daughter sit up at the table with us for every single meal and &quot;gnaw&quot; on the foods we were eating. Often this was 4 meals (I eat an afternoon snack!) It took over 3 months of this before she really started to eat.  Read as much as you can about baby-led weaning and I think this will give you the confidence you need.  Again, the first post is filled with great suggestions that derive from the baby-led weaning/traditional ideas of infant feeding.      &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3093" LastActivityDate="2012-08-17T20:12:19.377" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5822" CreationDate="2012-08-18T06:54:42.540" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very hard to answer this question. It really depends on the context. You absolutely should cultivate their immediate obedience to your direction when it's appropriate. Those are usually situations of danger/harm. We do a lot of climbing, cycling, and skiing in situations where there's no margin for error. They can get all the details after the situation has passed and when it's safe to elaborate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's been a 'couple times where there's been social context, like a meth-head approaching or the kids putting themselves in situation where something socially-driven &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; go wrong. When the inevitable &quot;why&quot; comes up we've cultivated the simple short phrase &quot;Explain later!&quot; which is to say you're potentially in danger and this is not the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later means we've explained in graphic detail the possible things that could happen. And I'm talking &quot;keep them up at night&quot; detail. Indelible image in their little brains. It sucks to have to do that but personally I could not live with myself knowing that I witheld knowledge from my kids that may lead to harm at a later point in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The context I'm sure you mean is perspective/worldview stuff that is nearly impossible to explain because developmentally or experientially they do not have the skills or capacity to understand. Or worse, you've personally developed a perspective or worldview that has meaning to you and drives your decision but is in conflict with their perspective. That's not easy because it's not rooted in something very real and objective, only lens. Subjective differences are by their very nature messy and, well, subjective. At that point I suppose you have the option to put your foot down and hope that one day in the future they will arrive at your perspective and thank you for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And sometimes you can be delighted to know that they will surprise you and defy your opinion and be right. When they school you...then you know you've raised a good child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastActivityDate="2012-08-18T06:54:42.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5848" CreationDate="2012-08-18T07:04:58.640" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I very much doubt that it would lead to a child purposely self-inflicting an injury to get a treat, it's still a bad idea. For injuries that are not life threatening - try laughing at it. Laugh out loud. LOL. Obviously you can still show concern and care but if it's not life threatening, then what's the harm in teaching a skill to laugh at our clumsiness or unluckiness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids sometimes laugh and cry at the same time. And now they laugh at me when I get hurt. Even when I want to cry. It's better than swearing and seems to take the edge off of the pain. At a young age it can be a cognitive dissonance distractor. At an older age it severely limits the &quot;woe is me&quot; factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife just crashed during a bike race and busted 3 ribs. That was the only time laughing was hard. And it made it even funnier because all she could say was &quot;Don't make me laugh! It hurts to laugh!&quot; Which only made us laugh more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastEditorUserId="3048" LastEditDate="2012-08-20T03:01:50.403" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T03:01:50.403" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2763" CreationDate="2012-08-19T03:17:57.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Look man, you should always educate your children with the very best information that you have at your disposal.  If the very best information you have is &lt;em&gt;Christ is Lord&lt;/em&gt; then teach them that.  If the very best information you have is &lt;em&gt;religion was made up by crazy people&lt;/em&gt; then teach them that also.  There is no shame in pointing out the delusion in religion or making very clear why your stance is so and so and why you don't believe in Church or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55h1FO8V_3w&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;skycake&lt;/a&gt;.  Don't be ashamed to &quot;argue against&quot; religious philosophies, share your experience with religion, or basically take it down.  After all, the Christian parents are doing the very same thing with you.  One day your child will have a confrontation with a Christian who will say &lt;em&gt;he is going to hell&lt;/em&gt;.  And if he cannot answer or explain that, as Erin said, he will be very confused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-19T03:17:57.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5854" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5864" CreationDate="2012-08-19T22:18:40.467" Score="26" ViewCount="31477" Body="&lt;p&gt;About a month ago we got two foster children, ages 9 and 7. The younger one often has nightmares, and in the daytime has many fears. She won't take a bath by herself and she is afraid of mirrors. We learned this week that these behaviors are all a result of her fear of &quot;ghosts&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried reassuring her that ghosts don't exist, but apparently her mother had taught her that they are real and dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions on how to ease her mind and convince her that she has nothing to fear from ghosts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="89" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-29T12:22:45.250" LastActivityDate="2016-01-29T14:17:43.240" Title="How do I help a child overcome fear of ghosts?" Tags="|primary-schooler|bedtime|fears|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2012-08-20T01:49:23.423" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, constantly reassure her that she has nothing to fear.  Whenever she is scared, be patient and walk her through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the best thing I can think of.  You could also try cartoons that have &lt;em&gt;friendly&lt;/em&gt; ghosts, so you turn the fear into something she could laugh at.  Casper, is one.  Casper is a friendly ghost.  The show can help her neutralize the fear by turning ghosts into friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T01:49:23.423" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5847" CreationDate="2012-08-20T03:03:55.423" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that 16 months is a rather young age to understand such a concept, but starting an early understanding of animals in general is a good idea.  I just asked my 3 year old daughter if she knew the difference between a &quot;wild mouse&quot; and a &quot;pet mouse&quot; by asking her which she'd rather have in the house.  She said a &quot;pet mouse&quot; but she didn't know what would happen if we had a &quot;wild mouse&quot; in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good place to start would probably be when you introduce your daughter to other animals, or when you see wild animals on the street.  It's important for children to know that strange animals can be dangerous--including a strange mouse that lives in your house!--and not to go near them without a parent or other adult.  I've taught my daughter that waving hello to animals outside is okay, but not going near them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3102" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T03:03:55.423" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5857" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5860" CreationDate="2012-08-20T03:19:47.967" Score="9" ViewCount="582" Body="&lt;p&gt;While pregnant (4 months), is it ok to &quot;be careful&quot;? Is it ok to avoid eating too much and bear hungry feelings some days?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T16:03:57.240" Title="Is it ok to be on diet while pregnant?" Tags="|eating|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5824" CreationDate="2012-08-20T03:20:08.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My older daughter (now 3 years old) spent the first 12 months of her life in a &quot;pack-and-play,&quot; or a &quot;play yard&quot;... it had an insert that made it a bit more shallow, so it was easier to get her in and out of it during night time and nap time.  Neither my husband nor I are sensitive sleepers, we don't have back issues, and my daughter is a strong, healthy girl with no troubles sleeping pretty much anywhere.  She's never had any back support issues or pain, and her sleep has been really, really wonderful! (At 5 months of age she was sleeping 12 hours straight through the night!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My younger daughter spends her time between a cosleeper, a pack-and-play, and a bassinet.  She seems to have restful sleep in each location, and I haven't noticed a difference between any of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then again, it was my experience that both girls slept on my chest better than any bed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3102" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T03:20:08.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5857" CreationDate="2012-08-20T08:45:19.713" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Absolutely, as long as you start at a healthy weight, or are overweight (which applies to the majority of the developed world) - the core element that doctors stress is just &quot;to get a balanced input&quot; so you aren't missing out on essential vitamins, minerals and other essential nutrients.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if you are underweight, then you may not want to go down this route, as a malnourished mother will have an effect not only on the child, but on her own health as her body does its best to provide nutrients for the unborn baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T08:45:19.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5857" CreationDate="2012-08-20T09:06:47.853" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many women think that being pregnant is an excuse to eat everything is sight, however the average pregnant woman only needs 200-300 calories more per day, and that's at the late stage of pregnancy. However, your need for certain vitamins and minerals goes up dramatically, and sometimes cravings are your body's way of telling you you are short of something. You need more iron, calcium, folic acid, and other things is quantity. So if you have a specific craving it's best to fill it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dieting while pregnant is not a good idea, eat a healthy diet and don't go short on anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T09:06:47.853" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5846" CreationDate="2012-08-20T11:04:36.500" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar situation at that age, so I believe it's nothing unusual, even though seeing your child in fear can be quite upsetting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only solution we found is to give in for a few weeks, until the anxiety settles down: Sit with him until he sleeps, and if he wakes up in the night you need to do the same. It is important to address this issue: talk to him about it, and explain that there is no reason to be afraid, and that you will always be there for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a week or two, he will know that you are always there, and feel reassured. At that point you can start the next phase: Slowly easing out of staying with him. Here you will need to experiment, to see what is acceptable to him, and what isn't, for example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Stay a limited amount of time&lt;/em&gt;, say 5 minutes. Tell him beforehand that you will stay with him for five minutes, and announce when the time is up&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Leave the door open&lt;/em&gt;. This was the key point or us: When we offered to leave the door to our daughter's room open, she accepted that we left the room before she was asleep&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final tip: Beware of creaking floor boards -  I had to learn where not to step, in order to avoid making noise that would have her standing in her bed screaming within a 10th of a second...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;One item I forgot: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Leaving the light on when we put her to bed&lt;/em&gt;. The main light in her room has a dimmer. We turn it to the lowest setting, which leaves a very faint glow. She is 3 1/2 now, and still insists on this. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastEditorUserId="1070" LastEditDate="2012-08-21T11:44:24.177" LastActivityDate="2012-08-21T11:44:24.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5846" CreationDate="2012-08-20T16:10:37.750" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am going through a similar situation with my 21 month old son except he wants me in the bed, usually with his head on my arm. We transitioned from mom to putting him to bed in the &quot;family bed&quot; to me putting him to bed. It was a struggle for the first couple weeks, but staying consistent did the trick. After the first two or so weeks he was coming to me when it was time for bed. &#xA;After about 6 weeks we moved him to his room. I am still putting him to bed most nights but occasionally mom will now. He wakes up about 4-5 hours in and is crying and banging at his door. I get up and talk to him and tell him I understand how he feels and describe emotions he might be feeling, then lay him down in his bed. As long as I don't fall asleep with him I get up and go back to bed with the wife.&#xA;There have been a few nights where he actually slept &lt;em&gt;through the night&lt;/em&gt;. :D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every child is different. The most universal advice I've heard from other parents is consistency and routine. What works for one child may not work for another, but for my child consistency and routine are the two things that have continued to work for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The earlier you start with this, the easier it usually is. Starting to teach a 2-year old to get into sleep alone is far more difficult then to do this for a 3 or 6 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2904" LastEditorUserId="2785" LastEditDate="2012-08-24T22:32:19.250" LastActivityDate="2012-08-24T22:32:19.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5818" CreationDate="2012-08-20T17:42:44.320" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As requested, an addendum to Torben's answer as regards to cosmic radiation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The exposure due to cosmic radiation is actually about two chest X-ray images per flight, or &lt;a href=&quot;http://xkcd.com/radiation&quot;&gt;40 uSv&lt;/a&gt;, depending on flight height, latitude, and length.  At 10000 flights, there would be &lt;a href=&quot;http://epa.gov/rpdweb00/understand/health_effects.html&quot;&gt;definitely apparent effects&lt;/a&gt;, known as 'deterministic effects' because they can be traced directly to radiation. So unless the OP is flying in the 100s of hours per year, they should be OK-- but he did ask for how many flights would be unhealthy, not if it's a concern :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with radiation exposure comes with discerning the cause of the non-deterministic effects.  Deterministic effects are far more straightforward: if you receive a particular dose of radiation in an single exposure, or if you receive enough radiation over time, you will develop problems.  For instance, if you receive a certain dose of radiation to your eye, you will develop cataracts (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.melodi-online.eu/WS2MoCraw1.pdf&quot;&gt;as discussed here&lt;/a&gt;).  If you read that carefully, they state that a single exposure of 5 Gy (Grays, same thing as an Sv, or a Seivert) will cause cataracts, or a 'fractionated' (or received over time) of 8 Gy, or a relatively constant background dose of &gt; 0.15 Gy/year.  A single plane flight is 40 uGy, or 0.00004 Gy.  You would basically have to live at 30k feet to worry about this particular radiation effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Non-deterministic effects are hard because tracing the exact cause of the problem is tricky.  Say you develop lung cancer-- could it have been because you took 80 flights last year, or because you're genetically predisposed to it, or both?  What is the relative risk of 80 flights as opposed to a year's exposure to second hand smoke (or first hand, for that matter)?  That's a harder question to answer in an individual, because you can't do controlled experiments.  What you can do is look at large exposures of radiation (Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Chernobyl, and now Fukushima) and trace their effects over time.  For instance, within 5-8 years, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pcf.city.hiroshima.jp/virtual/VirtualMuseum_e/exhibit_e/exh0107_e/exh01073_e.html&quot;&gt;people near Hiroshima had more cases of leukemia, by percentage, than those who lived elsewhere&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look at the population of Hiroshima over the course of 5-55 years following the bomb's detonation, you'll get a view of how much dose leads to leukemia, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rerf.jp/radefx/late_e/leukemia.html&quot;&gt;as is done in this story&lt;/a&gt;.  You have to get into the significant fractions of a Gray (0.1 Gy) before you see more than single-digit risk associated with exposure.  Note that that's at a single exposure; plane flights are fractionated, meaning that you'd get less exposure at a single instance, but more over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Upshot: If you take enough plane trips to get ~0.1-0.5 Gy of dose in a year (say), you could see some problems arising from radiation exposure.  ~At 0.00004 Gy per flight, you would need at least 1000 flights before you should be worried about cosmic radiation exposure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T17:42:44.320" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2012-08-20T21:34:23.330" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is important to recognize that even though we, as adults, know that there are no such things as ghosts, to the child they are real. And no amount of logic will convince them otherwise. You have to accept, for a while, that what they think is real, is actually real, and then you can deal with making it not scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So rather than trying to reverse their thinking, try to control it and direct it. My son (5 years old at the time) was sure there were ghosts. So we talked about &quot;How do they get in the house?&quot; Apparently they can come in the windows. What he didn't know, and I did, was that it you put a piece of tape in the corner of the window it blocks the ghosts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was also afraid of vampires (did I mention I hate Halloween). He was afraid they would get in his room. What he didn't know was that vampire are afraid of blue carpet... oh did I mention his room has blue carpet in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I couldn't convince him that neither one was real, but I could divert and redirect his concerns until he was more rational and we could talk about make-believe and reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hear that if you put a piece of tape over the corner of a mirror it blocks out ghosts just as good as it does on windows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this idea works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T21:34:23.330" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5848" CreationDate="2012-08-20T22:22:45.483" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, to answer your question, you are not denying comfort and asking the right question. Indeed associating two behaviors may create unwanted results (&quot;I will eat my green peas if you give me your funny face&quot; at a reception is always a pleasure).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you already answered: do the confort, it's your child after all; but dissociate both in the long run, it should rather not turn to a routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it really hurts, it's another deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2220" LastActivityDate="2012-08-20T22:22:45.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2012-08-21T09:52:21.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son goes to kindergarten by bike every day and one day we took off the training wheels and added a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001GSQLUI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;training handle&lt;/a&gt;. This way he can control the speed and doesn't have to worry about falling. Speed is important because it is lot harder to go really slow than it is to go just a bit faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the trick is to NOT hold the handle but to keep your hand very near it so that you can make adjustments. If you keep your hand on the handle it will be just like the training wheels and your son doesn't learn to keep the balance because you are (unwittingly) controlling him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum it up: Training wheels: child learns to pedal the bike and there isn't much balance required. Training handle: child learns to balance himself (he already knows how to pedal) so it is really important not to control the balance (i.e. tight grip and basically pushing him with the handle).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3105" LastActivityDate="2012-08-21T09:52:21.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2012-08-21T18:21:41.600" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I taught 2 kids how to ride bikes without training training wheels in the past 2 years, both when they were 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The boys both took a great interest in biking.  We bike every day for 20 minutes.  They started with training wheels.  When the older one (who was 3 at the time) looked ready, I thought it was time to take them off, so we did, and I trained him by running beside the bike and grabbing the handlebars whenever he looked as though he was going to fall over.  (You have to have a lot of endurance to do this, and as you'll see it was an ineffective strategy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the second one, I realized that I kind of rushed it for the first one.  When the second one turned 3, after about a month into the summer this year (20 minute bike rides almost every day), I noticed he didn't rely on the wheels as much.  So I removed the training wheels, and ran alongside him like I did for the first one the previous year, &lt;em&gt;but&lt;/em&gt; the difference was, he didn't need my help after the first 20 minutes.  He was riding on his own without a need for help after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, basically it's practice.  I realized I actually overexhausted myself by rushing the first one.  There's no rush.  Keep the training wheels until he's comfortable with them on.  I think the 2 seasons of practice &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; training wheels is what made the 2nd 3 year old able to ride without training wheels so easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-21T18:21:41.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2012-08-21T18:26:43.500" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Making him the center of attention when he doesn't get his way (by letting his tantrum get the best of you and completely derail your behavior and your happiness) is just a recipe for more tantrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why are you provoking a confrontation to begin with?  He doesn't want to drink milk?  So what.  Give him a few healthy alternatives (milk, water, limited juice).  He won't starve himself.  If he doesn't want to drink, don't force him, just take the drinks away, and don't offer them again until the next scheduled snack or meal.  He'll learn to take advantage of what's offered when it's offered, and to exercise choice over the responsible range of choices that you allow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2012-08-21T18:26:43.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2012-08-21T21:35:24.180" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are religious, you can tell her that God is stronger than any ghost, and he will protect her.  This is from the point of view of a Christian, but might work for other religions too.  Tell her that she can pray for God to protect her, and he will, and the ghosts can't get to her.  This allows her to believe what her mother told her, but also gives her a way to deal with that evil.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I'd use the tape on the mirror idea or anti-ghost spray from @Chris M in addition.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2454" LastActivityDate="2012-08-21T21:35:24.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2012-08-22T05:53:45.283" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Me and my kids slept at my friend's house in the basement a while ago while the family was out of town. It was a creepy basement and they said they thought there was a ghost there. I explained that even if there was a ghost there, he wasn't there to scare anyone or hurt them, he was just walking around. It might be creepy, but nothing to be afraid of since he will not hurt you. You can try the other tactics to see if those work, but until you are attacked by a ghost, there is no reason to believe it is going to hurt you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is 12 and figured out on his own that Santa was played by me and his mom when he was 3, so tape on the window or a bottle of water wouldn't work, but letting him know that the ghost wasn't there to hurt him helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastEditorUserId="2943" LastEditDate="2012-08-23T07:25:56.590" LastActivityDate="2012-08-23T07:25:56.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5872" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-23T02:52:29.543" Score="26" ViewCount="67823" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 11 year-old son who is showing a tendency towards becoming gay. People have seen him walking like a girl, but I haven't. I'm thinking that they are just judgmental. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On his computer games he chooses a girl character that is seen by his brothers. He plays most with the girls at school and he is good at volleyball. At the bookstore, out of nowhere he chooses girl stuff like a small diary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time we see him acting like a girl we correct him and explain that that behaviour is girly. But it keeps on happening. I am really worried. We want him to grow up to be normal. I love my son. Please help me handle this situation. We are not encouraging him to be gay but I don't want him to feel pressure or emotionally hurt that the real identity of his personality will be lost. Because I was also thinking that &quot;what if we are judging wrong?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3110" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-23T21:16:03.250" LastActivityDate="2018-05-06T06:11:50.850" Title="How to handle an 11 year-old son who acts like a girl?" Tags="|behavior|pre-teen|gender|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5872" CreationDate="2012-08-23T05:16:33.597" Score="76" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I think it is worth noting that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.teenhelp.com/teen-sexuality/gender-identity.html&quot;&gt;gender identity&lt;/a&gt; and gender roles are not the same as sexual orientation--liking girly things is not the same as being gay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as your specific issues go, I agree with Rhea that these are not big signs that your son is experimenting with an alternate gender identity. Hanging out with girls, using female avatars in video games, and playing volleyball are not unusual behaviors in heterosexual men.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I'll assume that there is something more going on here. Even so, adolescents and teens sometimes experiment with different roles, just to see where they fit in. Your son knows what things are girly and what things aren't, what he doesn't know is how he thinks and feels about everything in the world. He needs space and time to figure this stuff out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also might make fashion choices--for example, wearing makeup or nail polish--that are more about what music he likes than about gender identity. Punk fashion involved makeup, nail polish, and skirts for guys when I was in high school, and I'm sure there's some kind of fashion statement like that now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is that he needs to feel comfortable talking to you about &lt;em&gt;whatever&lt;/em&gt; is going on in his life. If his behavior isn't dangerous to himself or others, and if he is still doing the things he needs to do like chores and homework, try just leaving him alone about this sort of thing. The important thing is that he needs to feel comfortable talking to you... if he is being bullied at school, for example, you don't want him to think that you'll blame him for acting &quot;girly&quot;. You want him to trust you so that he'll tell you if he's having problems. Making him feel like you think he is gay–and that you think that's a bad thing–because he wants a diary is probably going to make it harder for him to talk to you about whatever is going on in his head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it is possible that your son &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; gay. It's also possible that one of his siblings is gay and he is not. Being gay is not a lifestyle choice or the result of a persons upbringing, it's a sexual orientation, something people are born with. Stereotypes aside, gay men are not always effeminate, gay women are not always butch, effeminate men are not always gay, butch women are not always lesbians. You truly can't judge a book by its cover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if one of your children is gay, the best thing you can do is to accept them as they are. This is difficult for some parents, so there are organizations out there that can help you adjust, notably  &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.pflag.org/&quot;&gt;PFLAG&lt;/a&gt; (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I wouldn't worry about this too much. As parents, the best we can hope for is to raise children who turn into happy adults with their own place in the world. Keep an open dialog and focus on things that matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastEditorUserId="94" LastEditDate="2012-08-24T13:29:32.967" LastActivityDate="2012-08-24T13:29:32.967" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5872" CreationDate="2012-08-23T09:40:44.000" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some straight people have feminine tendencies like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-dressing&quot;&gt;Cross Dressing&lt;/a&gt; and it could be a case of your son exploring an identity, or your son could be gay. Either way is a different lifestyle choice that will make his life more difficult. In every society in the world being gay is a negative and will expose gay people to ridicule at best and death at worst depending on the culture and it's laws. The last thing your son needs is his family trying to change him and make him something other than what he is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are asking the wrong question, what you should be asking is &quot;How do I support my son?&quot; You can't make someone not be gay, they are or they aren't, it's not up to you. Acting like you can change someone is a form of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denial&quot;&gt;Denial&lt;/a&gt;, and will lead to conflict. I know several gay people who are estranged from their families because they couldn't accept them, and it hurts both sides. If your son is gay then you need to learn to accept it. There are groups to help you come to terms with it, for instance &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&amp;amp;srcid=-2&quot;&gt;PFLAG&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be a phase that your son is going through, or it may not. Either way the best thing you can do is support your son and encourage the rest of the family to do the same. It's not the answer you want I'm sure, but it's the answer you need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-23T09:40:44.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5848" CreationDate="2012-08-23T15:56:00.347" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never once seen a young child intentionally hurt himself to get attention or a reward.  &lt;em&gt;Faking&lt;/em&gt; an injury is another matter, but that's usually easy to spot.  My son even tried mimicking his sister's cerebral palsy symptoms a few times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think in the case of a head needing icing, the treat is intended to be more of a distraction than a comfort.  You need them to stay relatively still for a while in an uncomfortable situation.  There are other kinds of injuries where that's not the case.  In those circumstances, although a treat wouldn't necessarily be harmful, I prefer emphasizing a method the child can use to comfort himself:  taking deep breaths, shaking it off, finding something else to do, David's laughing it off idea, etc.  Being dependent on something external for comfort makes it difficult in social circumstances where that thing isn't available, like a day care or a car ride for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-08-23T15:56:00.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5877" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6000" CreationDate="2012-08-23T19:07:00.350" Score="13" ViewCount="12118" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am interested in pursuing a non-authoritarian approach to educating my son and I do not know at what age (or prerequisite milestones) the focus of education should switch from telling him facts to mainly using (guided) research of primary sources and direct experimentation to learn. Ideally, I'd like for him to be able to critically examine a claim and compare it to what he knows or think of ways to falsify it before I focus on this method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has research been done on this aspect of development? If so, is their a way to gauge if the complexity is within their grasp? For instance, &quot;once milestones A, B, and C have been achieved, most children are able to critically examine a five predicate claim&quot;. If this research is not availbe, your experience as educators can provide an estimate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2012-09-02T03:33:36.137" Title="At what age or developmental milestones is a child capable of critical thinking?" Tags="|development|education|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5838" CreationDate="2012-08-23T21:27:00.900" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is some minor concern that ultrasounds could have medical effects on the fetus. However, if this is true then the effect is very slight... any strong correlations would have been discovered by now, decades later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering that they're not just a way for parents to see their baby before birth, but important diagnostic tools that allow doctors and other medical personnel to avoid potentially life-threatening conditions (for both mother and baby) they're more than safe. It's actually unsafe not to use them (as directed by a doctor). The benefit certainly outweighs any risk they may pose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2939" LastActivityDate="2012-08-23T21:27:00.900" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5879" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-23T23:11:37.897" Score="3" ViewCount="234" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 16 month old has always been very willful and it is hard to get her to drink a lot of milk that is not from breastfeeding. I have read that &quot;time out&quot;'s are timed 1 minute per year of age, rounding down so hers is a one minute time out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it okay to offer that if she finishes her milk (or any food for that matter), she can get out of &quot;time out&quot;? Or should food not be associated with &quot;time out&quot; at all so there is no negative association? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*I realize that a minute may not be long enough to finish food and she may just figure out to wait it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T22:53:22.703" Title="Should I let food be a way out of a &quot;time out&quot;?" Tags="|discipline|food|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5879" CreationDate="2012-08-24T00:26:42.680" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first question is: why are you trying to get her to drink milk if she doesn't want to?  Many mental issues with food arise when parents force their children to eat certain foods at the expense of others.  As discussed in this abstract (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v28/n7/abs/0802532a.html&quot;&gt;Benton, 2004&lt;/a&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children are more likely to eat in emotionally positive atmospheres. [...] Restricting access to particular foods increases rather than decreases preference. Forcing a child to eat a food will decrease the liking for that food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like, if you are particularly concerned that she should drink milk, just act like it's a treat rather than a burden that she has to do, and that it's a treat you like to have as well.  On the other hand, forcing her to drink milk may lead to her develop a real life-long aversion (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0195666301904829&quot;&gt;Batsell et al, 2002&lt;/a&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Specifically, the most common type of forced consumption (76%) involved an authority figure (e.g. parent, teacher) forcingachild to consume a novel, disliked, or aversive food. In this authority figure scenario, respondents recalled the episode as involving interpersonal conflict and negative affect, and identified the most aversive aspects of this scenario as lack of control and feelings of helplessness. Furthermore, most respondents (72%) reported that they would not willingly eat the target food today. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, making food part of any kind of disciplinary activity could backfire on you badly, unless that food is considered a reward.  There's some suggestion that this is the origin of the 'sugar high' (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7963081?dopt=Abstract&quot;&gt;Hoover and Milich, 1994&lt;/a&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In the experimental group, mothers were told their children had received a large dose of sugar, whereas in the control condition mothers were told their sons received a placebo; all children actually received the placebo (aspartame).  Mothers in the sugar expectancy condition rated their children as significantly more hyperactive. Behavioral observations revealed these mothers exercised more control by maintaining physical closeness, as well as showing trends to criticize, look at, and talk to their sons more than did control mothers. For several variables, the expectancy effect was stronger for cognitively rigid mothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In essence, getting something 'forbidden' was so bad for the mothers that they became more controlling, while the kids themselves thought that it was awesome to get something they couldn't.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;tl;dr&lt;/strong&gt;: If milk suddenly becomes 'forbidden', then maybe she will start to think that it's awesome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-08-24T00:26:42.680" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5838" CreationDate="2012-08-24T00:47:49.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a long story about this topic, going back to its first introduction in the 1950s.  It probably doesn't help that you can crank up the power on an &lt;a href=&quot;http://health.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/kidney-stones/other-treatments.html&quot;&gt;ultrasonic device to do things like break up kidney stones&lt;/a&gt;; surely, such technology must come with tradeoffs, like X-rays do.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJM199309163291201&quot;&gt;A large, longitudinal study reported in 1993&lt;/a&gt; with 15,151 pregnant mothers as subjects found that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The mean numbers of sonograms obtained per woman in the ultrasound-screening and control groups were 2.2 and 0.6, respectively. The rate of adverse perinatal outcome was 5.0 percent among the infants of the women in the ultrasound-screening group and 4.9 percent among the infants of the women in the control group (relative risk, 1.0; 95 percent confidence interval, 0.9 to 1.2; P = 0.85). The rates of preterm delivery and the distribution of birth weights were nearly identical in the two groups. The ultrasonographic detection of congenital anomalies had no effect on perinatal outcome. There were no significant differences between the groups in perinatal outcome in the subgroups of women with post-date pregnancies, multiple-gestation pregnancies, or infants who were small for gestational age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They did define 'adverse perinatal outcome' as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Adverse perinatal outcome was defined as fetal death, neonatal death, or neonatal morbidity such as intraventricular hemorrhage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which may be a bit more... lethal than you're looking for.  It's very tricky to judge the results of these kinds of pediatric surveys on effects such as obesity, increased or decreased intelligence, etc, because so many other confounding factors are present.  As such, at least for this study, the binary approach of 'dead' or 'not dead' shows that there's no increased risk of really, really bad outcomes as a result of ultrasounds.  And that's using late 1980s-early 1990's imaging tech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, &lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.lww.com/epidem/Abstract/2002/05001/The_Safety_of_Prenatal_Ultrasound_Exposure_in.4.aspx&quot;&gt;in 2002, Marinac-Dabic et al&lt;/a&gt; called for a more inclusive definition of 'adverse outcomes':&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;However, there have been some reports that there may be a relation between prenatal ultrasound exposure and adverse outcome. Some of the reported effects include growth restriction, delayed speech, dyslexia, and non-right-handedness associated with ultrasound exposure. Continued research is needed to evaluate the potential adverse effects of ultrasound exposure during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend not to think that left-handedness is as bad as dyslexia or growth restriction, given that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handedness_of_Presidents_of_the_United_States&quot;&gt;Presidents of the United States tend to be either right or left handed&lt;/a&gt;, but the other charges are definitely worth investigating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/uog.6328/full&quot;&gt;in 2009, the WHO published a meta-analysis&lt;/a&gt; of the literature to determine if there were any adverse effects for the practice.  They concluded:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Ultrasonography in pregnancy was not associated with adverse maternal or perinatal outcome, impaired physical or neurological development, increased risk for malignancy in childhood, subnormal intellectual performance or mental diseases. According to the available clinical trials, there was a weak association between exposure to ultrasonography and non-right handedness in boys (odds ratio 1.26; 95% CI, 1.03–1.54).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;tl;dr&lt;/strong&gt;: In effect, by the best judgement we have, ultrasonic imaging is a safe screening method, and has no adverse effects on the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-08-24T00:47:49.913" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5872" CreationDate="2012-08-24T17:20:13.467" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You shouldn't worry about your son choosing the female avatars.  In fact, that may be an expression of &lt;em&gt;heterosexuality&lt;/em&gt;, his interest in female characters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, like others have said, &quot;effeminate&quot; behavior isn't necessarily an expression of his future sexuality.  Maybe he's gentle, and maybe he doesn't like traditional boys stuff that typically involves roughhousing and aggression.  Maybe he prefers playing &lt;em&gt;house&lt;/em&gt; to playing baseball.  So what?  It means he has a gentle persona.  That doesn't mean &lt;em&gt;he is gay&lt;/em&gt;.  Gay means he has a &lt;em&gt;sexual attraction to men&lt;/em&gt;.  If he is not expressing this, then you have no reason to believe that he is actually going to become a homosexual man.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Liking girl's stuff may actually be the opposite of what you think.  Hanging out with girls may be a way for him to get &lt;em&gt;closer&lt;/em&gt; to girls - a way for him to &lt;em&gt;earn girlfriends&lt;/em&gt; as it were.  He can't earn them the traditional ways of being macho and cool.  So he befriends them.  Unfortunately he may have to contend with &quot;the friend zone&quot; in his adolescent life, but that's how it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-24T17:20:13.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2012-08-24T18:23:42.720" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 and just learned to ride a bike. He did have training wheels on his bike for awhile but then I got him a scooter and he used that quite a bit to learn balance. Once he really got that down, he asked to have his training wheels taken off his bike and started riding right away on his 2 wheel bike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3117" LastEditorUserId="14" LastEditDate="2012-12-09T19:29:53.993" LastActivityDate="2012-12-09T19:29:53.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5877" CreationDate="2012-08-25T00:21:18.707" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting question as I was just compiling/crowdsourcing a list of &quot;must read books&quot; for my soon-to-be 13yo that are ideal for exposing critical thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The easy answer is &quot;it depends&quot;...and it really does. So many factors and even more conundrums and variances based on culture and exposure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hard (way to find your) answer is to test. We're big fans of Developmental Testing Services (now &lt;a href=&quot;http://lectica.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Lectica&lt;/a&gt;). Of their tests, I think LERA, LRJA, LSUA, and DCS are the most relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've curated a list of books&lt;a href=&quot;http://pinterest.com/davidlaplante/books-for-better-parenting/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt; [here]&lt;/a&gt; that are my favorite and which many deal with developmental stage assessment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had to pick my favorite it would be &quot;Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification&quot;. Or &quot;Multiple Intelligences: New Horizons in Theory and Practice&quot;. Robert Kegan's &quot;In Over Our Heads: The Mental Demands of Modern Life&quot; is awesome, but I had to read it 3 times before it really stuck with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for not having a direct answer. It's one of those subjects where the more you know you feel like the less you know! 8-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3048" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T14:17:18.453" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T14:17:18.453" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5043" CreationDate="2012-08-25T13:15:56.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's Pediatric Rehabilitation and Medicine doctor at University if Michigan hospital (who works with his Homeopathic M.D.) recommends 400-600 IU of Vitamin D per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3119" LastActivityDate="2012-08-25T13:15:56.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5877" CreationDate="2012-08-25T16:20:05.390" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should consider a hybrid: tell him facts, but explain how you know that they are true.  By engaging with him, you'll both train him to think critically and be able to assess what level of sophistication he can handle.  Then you'll know the answer of when and to what extent to transition to experimentation and primary sources not for some average male child, and not for some prototypical male child dreamed up by a child psychologist, but for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is any age that is too early to begin; it worked on me from an early age, and it works to an extent on my 1 1/2 year old (in that if there are reasons for something, he'll very often stop and listen to them, and will often change his mind about what he wants if the reasons sound compelling to him; of course, he has only a minimal grasp of what makes a good reason vs. a  bad one, but it's a start).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2012-08-25T16:20:05.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5872" CreationDate="2012-08-25T18:41:59.340" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is his school like? A lot of schools are very hostile to masculinity. If he is being indoctrinated to believe that what are traditionally feminine values and behavior are the normal and expected good behavior for everyone, then that might cause your son to behave in a feminine manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently some people think this is a silly statement to make, so I will put some links up to support this point of view. They will be based towards the UK, which is where I am from, but I doubt the situation is any different in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't do our sons any good by ignoring how the education system is letting down boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One in four primary schools in England still has no male registered teacher.&#xA;In total, women make up three-quarters of registered teachers - which includes all state school teachers and also teachers in the independent sector who choose to register with the GTCE.&#xA;Only 12% of primary school teachers are male, compared with 38% of secondary school teachers.&#xA;There are just 48 male teachers in state nurseries.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-14748273&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-14748273&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feminised curriculum 'has thrown boy out with bathwater'&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2006/jun/13/schools.uk3&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2006/jun/13/schools.uk3&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deborah Orr: The truth about our 'feminised' society&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/deborah-orr/deborah-orr-the-truth-about-our-feminised-society-441117.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/deborah-orr/deborah-orr-the-truth-about-our-feminised-society-441117.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feminising education is of benefit to no one&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/telegraph-view/3641881/Feminising-education-is-of-benefit-to-no-one.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/telegraph-view/3641881/Feminising-education-is-of-benefit-to-no-one.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The War Against Boys&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2000/05/the-war-against-boys/304659/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2000/05/the-war-against-boys/304659/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3121" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-23T21:15:56.960" LastActivityDate="2018-03-23T21:15:56.960" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5888" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-25T18:53:29.057" Score="10" ViewCount="3904" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old son has outbursts of anger when he cannot get his own way, he seems to lose control of himself and will scream, hit and even sometimes bite the person that is stopping him from doing what he wants to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He always says sorry for doing it and if he is given a time out he will sit still for it and can give a hug and make up afterwards but it never seems to stop him from doing it again, sometimes just a few minutes later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than this issue he is completely wonderful and we have no other problems with him, he has seen me and his mother argue a few times but nothing violent so I don't know where he has learnt it from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I get him to control his temper enough so that he doesn't lash out at people in this way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3121" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-03T14:58:46.730" LastActivityDate="2019-01-03T14:58:46.730" Title="How do I stop my 2-year-old son from hitting and biting" Tags="|toddler|discipline|hitting|biting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5889" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5897" CreationDate="2012-08-25T21:38:12.233" Score="5" ViewCount="17498" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is born on October 1st three years ago. My wife is pregnant again and the calculated delivery date is October 22nd. Both children are boys, 3 years apart. We might end in a situation where the delivery is earlier, for reasons irrelevant to this question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that around their birthdays is the only time in the whole year that the actual date matters. It really does boil down to practical considerations around patience (gifts) and planning. I think that if there is, say, a week or more between the birthdays then it's easy to separate but if the difference is &lt;em&gt;only a very few days then it gets complicated,&lt;/em&gt; and that's the situation I'd like to avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know from friends that having the same birthday makes events easier to plan, from the parents' perspective. It would also remove the unhappiness of a small child saying &lt;em&gt;&quot;why does he get presents today and I don't.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; Being a twin, and married to one, I know that there's nothing problematic in sharing a birthday as long as both get their fair share of attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What are practical arguments for, and against, choosing the same birthday for the second child?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What considerations apply when the second child's birthday is only a very few days after the elder sibling's?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-18T13:22:00.950" LastActivityDate="2019-10-08T18:01:37.980" Title="Arguments for/against same birthday for siblings?" Tags="|siblings|birthday|birth|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="13" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2012-08-25T21:57:25.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend against having the same day. In the case of twins, it wasn't anyone's choice that the children have the same birthday. In this situation, the elder child may feel as if you gave their birthday to their younger sibling which may breed resentment. I doubt this would happen, but it seems like a substantial risk when the only reward is ease of party planning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2012-08-25T21:57:25.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5888" CreationDate="2012-08-25T22:07:05.107" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Patience, patience, and more patience. It sounds to me like you have a wonderful child and are doing everything you can. Stopping him as soon as you see the behavior and explaining to him that it is wrong with as much patience and love as you can muster with time-outs when necessary are the right thing to do in my opinion. You can try to give him some alternatives to hitting and biting and talking things through with the person he is directing his frustration at may help him handle his frustration better in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But right now he is 2 years old and does not always have the skills necessary to express his frustrations in better ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be thrilled if I could get our 2 year old to apologize, that sounds great. He also bites, pushes, and hits when he gets really upset. I am lucky to have a wife that is very patient and able to calm him down, I do my best, but my wife is much better at it than I am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2012-08-25T22:07:05.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5888" CreationDate="2012-08-25T22:46:51.597" Score="5" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Like you said, &lt;strong&gt;avoid exemplifying the unwanted behavior as much as you can&lt;/strong&gt;.  Try to have arguments and disagreements in a civilized tone, with positive body language in trying to persuade the other party to your point of view.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't make him apologize&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;too much&lt;/em&gt;.  Cut back on the emphasis of make-ups and &quot;taking damage&quot; from outbursts.  In my opinion too much apologizing has 2 problems: 1) apologies become hollow and meaningless, 2) &lt;strong&gt;it's ok to do anything as long as I apologize afterward.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Gradually increase your intolerance for the outbursts&lt;/strong&gt;.  This is the hardest part but it's how to stop them, or at least reduce their severity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, don't react to his anger with more anger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make every effort to help him regain emotional control, to calm down, don't ignore him because he might just go more ballistic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;But don't give him what he wants because he's making this outburst&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He should calm down first, and learn to say what he wants in a calm way.  If he should have what he wants, give it to him once he's completely calmed down.  If not, then here's where the &quot;infinite patience&quot; comes in -- you have to continue to calm him down &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; giving him what he wants or &quot;paying him off&quot; with something else.  If he's physically fighting, throwing things, immobilize him by hugging or holding onto him, or holding his arms so that he can't hit.  This takes some skill.  Don't hurt him, but hold him firmly to let him know you mean business, and that this behavior must stop now. Also, say &lt;strong&gt;Stop&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;calm down&lt;/strong&gt;, and other such phrases in a firm &lt;em&gt;but not mean&lt;/em&gt; tone (a parenting tone, if you will), until he relaxes a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try distracting him or getting him interested in something else, however.  But don't buy him off with something special every time he tantrums -- I believe doing that re-inforces the subconscious feedback loop of, &quot;When I throw a tantrum, what I want or something else good will happen.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tantruming can't be a way to get your way  -- otherwise it will just continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastEditorUserId="1850" LastEditDate="2012-08-25T22:53:30.617" LastActivityDate="2012-08-25T22:53:30.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2012-08-25T23:02:27.780" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's ok for the first few years, assuming the children are close in age.  In fact, I'd encourage it.  A 2-3 year old will usually feel left out for not receiving gifts at a party, even if he just had his party the previous week.  Explaining that is instructive, but combining the b-days actually resolves this problem very well:  it involves everybody (the 2 kids with birthdays), and avoids leaving anyone out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that the preschool years, though, it all depends on &lt;em&gt;how close&lt;/em&gt; in age, interests, and friends the children are.  If they hang out in the same social circle, are both boys, and both like sports, then by all means combine them.  But say you have a 8 year old boy and a 6 year old girl - that might not work so well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd ask them if they'd like to combine as soon as they were old enough to understand (say 5 or 6).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-25T23:02:27.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5847" CreationDate="2012-08-26T10:00:26.487" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does she get weeds? If she helps you weed the garden maybe saying vermin are like weeds might help her make sense. After all, in another context those animals may not be vermin...?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3123" LastActivityDate="2012-08-26T10:00:26.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2012-08-26T16:44:42.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't see any problem with this at any age, so I'm not sure what the percieved problem is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole way through life they will have friends with birthdays on or near theirs. It really doesn't matter, just treat each one equally and fairly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about this sort of thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-08-26T16:44:42.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2012-08-26T17:17:26.333" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on how you want your kids to feel about birthdays in the long run. My dad's birthday is November 23, my brother is Dec. 2, sister Dec 18, Parents anniversary Dec 19, Christmas Dec 25, mine Dec 28. My parents made sure that each event was totally separate so that we wouldn't be turned off to the whole experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember a few times where younger siblings would whine about not getting presents too, but I have also seen the same thing with other families where the birthdays are far apart or not even in the same family. That aspect of the planning would actually be better for closer birthdays, just tell them that their birthday is in a few weeks. No matter how close or far apart the days are, the other child will feel left out for the first few years until they realize they only need to wait a short time for THEIR presents. In the long run it is better to keep them separate for a few reasons. Learning to wait for their birthday helps them deal with life and keeping them separate lets them know that they are special and that they can have that day to themselves without having to compromise about going where with the other sibling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastActivityDate="2012-08-26T17:17:26.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5857" CreationDate="2012-08-26T17:25:39.233" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Popular diet programs such as Weight Watchers prohibit participation in their programs while pregnant (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.weightwatchers.com/about/his/health.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/358877-weight-watchers-pregnancy/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;), as their systems are often designed to promote weight loss, which is not healthy during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-08-26T17:25:39.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5872" CreationDate="2012-08-26T17:56:57.533" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want him to be &quot;normal&quot; treat it NORMAL. Kids at school will make fun of him and will be a bigger impact on his decision to act girlie or not than what you could say to him. Making him feel abnormal will lead to way more problems in his life than being gay. I live in Utah and have a cousin that recently said she was lesbian. Her parents are super religious (her dad was a bishop and now stake president in their religion) and very conservative. Obviously they wanted all their kids to be &quot;normal&quot; but the worst thing they could do is not be supportive, this would alienate them form their daughter and cause more stress in her life than already placed on her in society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People who try to &quot;pray the gay away&quot; end up very hurt that they can not change their feelings and wonder why God hates them. Also, not all boys who play with dolls and do girlie things grow up gay. My son loved barbies growing up and is now a star football and rugby player who is obsessed with girls. My friend's son wanted clothes for his &quot;dolly&quot; for his 4th birthday, now rides BMX at a pro level and loves the ladies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is &lt;a href=&quot;http://youtu.be/Ym0jXg-hKCI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a video that has BYU students talk about their experience&lt;/a&gt; at BYU and with their family, thoughts of suicide because their parents wouldn't want them to be gay and death would be better than letting people know they were gay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastEditorUserId="2943" LastEditDate="2015-05-31T00:36:11.393" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T00:36:11.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5857" CreationDate="2012-08-26T18:32:29.840" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is much, much better to identify healthy low-calorie foods and eat as much of those as you like, while limiting foods that will lead to a lot of weight gain. Munch on carrots and celery sticks at least. Going hungry isn't good for anybody, least of all a pregnant woman. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-08-26T18:32:29.840" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5857" CreationDate="2012-08-27T02:59:03.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to cut back on anything, cut back on empty calorie items, such as sugar-filled cakes, cookies, etc.  Cake and cookies contain &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; nutritional content while at the same time delivering plenty of calories.  You're best off eating healthy and rich foods that have proteins, vitamins and minerals.  There is some advice for exactly what to eat &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/pregnantdiet.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, to sum:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need your minerals:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Folic acid: Good natural sources of folic acid are barley beans, fruit, green vegetables, orange juice, lentils, peas and rice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Iron:  Good sources of iron are green vegetables such as broccoli and spinach, strawberries, muesli and wholemeal bread.&#xA;  Iron is more easily absorbed if it is taken in conjunction with vitamin C - either as a supplement or in citrus fruit or juice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, be sure to eat &lt;em&gt;some of everything&lt;/em&gt;:  &lt;strong&gt;do not&lt;/strong&gt; eat less than the recommended daily allowances of fats: fats contain essential nutrients! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;10 per cent of calories should come from protein. Protein is mainly found in meat, fish, eggs, dairy products and beans.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;35 per cent of calories should come from fat, which is mainly found in butter, oils, margarine, dairy products and nuts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;55 per cent of calories should come from carbohydrates, which are found in bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, corn and other grain products.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T02:59:03.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5879" CreationDate="2012-08-27T03:47:11.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whether or not punishing for milk is a separate issue, I think this is more about making her realize she will serve the time for anything she does, even if she decides to do it. I feel that if you let her get out of jail early to do what she was supposed to do in the first place will make it harder for you later. She will refuse to do anything until you punish her then she will do it to dodge that punishment. I have a fairly consistent punishment for certain actions, and those punishments are not negotiable. Once they earned the sentence, it must be carried out. Be consistent with the punishment and she will learn that you will carry out the terms regardless of her pleas, this will let her know that she needs to do the task BEFORE it gets to that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not wait until you are angry, give her a certain amount of time and let her know she has that time to get started on the task (I use 5 seconds, 10 seconds, 1 minute etc. depending on how long it would reasonably take to get started) then once that time is up, they get to serve their sentence, ALWAYS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you let her get out of time out early, she will wait until she is in timeout to do it, just to test you, sometimes you will give in and she will never serve time or do the task. I never wanted to be like the parents who sit there in the store and say &quot;1... 2... 2 and a half... 2 and three quarters, 2 and 7/8th... come one please??!?!&quot; My punishments are very minor, a slap on the wrist, even now that my son is 12 and girl is 7, but it is consistent and I hardly ever have to threaten them, usually the countdown is enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T03:47:11.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5904" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-27T09:47:58.623" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T09:47:58.623" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T09:47:58.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5905" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-27T09:47:58.623" Score="0" Body="About the parents themselves, and not (only) about the children." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-22T15:11:22.013" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T15:11:22.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5744" CreationDate="2012-08-27T13:46:21.327" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me the key is &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; harmful a specific thing is to the toddler. There are things / actions which can kill him instantly or mutilate him badly - these of course must be avoided or moved out of reach, as others already explained. Things like stairs, knives, boiling water, electricity etc. fall into this category.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then there are things which look unpleasant to us adults, and/or may even cause some harm to her, but nothing really bad or irreversible. These are actually most likely useful for her to explore - in a safe, supervised environment, of course - because this is how he learns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Playing with water on a hot summer day and soaking his clothes is unpleasant for us adults, because it gives us &quot;extra&quot; work. To her, it is a great learning experience.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trying to touch a candle flame may get a blister on his finger in the worst case - and make him learn once and for all to be careful with hot items (much better than any explanation or ban by dad).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Touching - or even eating - dirt, mud or sand gives him sensory experiences, and at the same time makes his immune system confront with new agents, substances and living organisms, thus learn. (Of course, if e.g. a cat pissed into the sand before, don't let him play with it. But regular, non-contaminated stuff is OK.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bumping into objects hurts, but again this teaches him to control and coordinate his movements and navigate in space.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2068" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T13:46:21.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2012-08-27T13:56:09.017" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two sons are two years and a day apart. There's plenty of resentment by the older one since his day is immediately followed (and, in his mind, overshadowed by) his brother's. And this on top of the usual &quot;you stole my limelight&quot; feelings of an older sibling. :7)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2527" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T13:56:09.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2012-08-27T18:24:27.873" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the birthdays are within the same month, other considerations might guide you towards a single combined party.  The biggest thing will be coordinating schedules of other family and friends involved for their attendance.  It's easier to get people to set aside one day in such a short time span than it is two.  More distant family members simply may not be able to make travel arrangements for two parties inside a month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the birthdays are within the same week, you might end up with a single party on the weekend anyway.  For my family, planning a weekday party borders between impractical and insane.  However, we always make sure that our kids get at least a few small gifts from us on their actual birthday -- as do some other especially close family members.  They also know that the bigger gifts will come at their party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my own childhood: Two of my cousins and I all had birthdays within a few weeks of each other.  Every year we had a combined birthday party for all 3 of us somewhere in the middle of all the birthdays.  It was just easier for all the families involved to coordinate and have a single, larger party than it was for us all to try to set up 3 separate parties that everyone had to plan for and attend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T18:24:27.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5909" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5916" CreationDate="2012-08-27T18:28:24.770" Score="15" ViewCount="89901" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3 1/2 month old has just learned how to make an ear-piercing screech, which appears to either mean &quot;happy&quot; or &quot;tired and grumpy&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we dissuade her from making this noise, without &quot;ignoring&quot; her when she's upset?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-27T20:32:23.790" LastActivityDate="2018-09-07T08:11:38.290" Title="How do we stop our child screeching?" Tags="|infant|speech|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2012-08-27T20:00:40.587" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main benefit is that you only have to then remember one date for your children's birthdates. (yes, that's maybe not a problem for everone, but it is for me. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But even if they are close, as they grow up, you rarely have parties on their birthday anyways...it's usually a weekend where people can get together, so you can always put the parties together on the same day which &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a huge benefit in our modern busy lives. And the kids may very well love having the party together (and if they don't, you can always separate them the next year)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T20:00:40.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5909" CreationDate="2012-08-27T20:58:12.313" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Screeching is unfortunately a common first means of communication, and I can wholly understand why you want to discourage that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to teach it is to encourage her and interact with joy when the makes all other kinds of sounds, to let her know that these are sounds that please you. When she makes these ear-piercing shrieks, show her your discomfort - distort your face, cover your ears, wail or moan, and tell her in plain spoken language &lt;em&gt;&quot;that hurt.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; Even at her young age, she'll eventually understand that there is a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T20:58:12.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2012-08-27T22:21:10.463" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to Rory's answer, which I generally agree to, I had good experiences with the following three strategies:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take part&lt;/strong&gt;: Our son was far less likely to get tired of a something when he was/is playing with others. Adults can provide some guidance and motivation to stay focussed, although now (3yrs) peers do have a similar effect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid clutter&lt;/strong&gt;: Avoid having lots of toys lying around while playing, rather focus on a small subset - that will help &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; focus. For example, if the two of you are playing with puzzles, there is no need for his toy cars to lie around. If he wants to play something with else, put away your current toys first, then get the new ones (bonus: he will learn some tidyness along the way). A couple of boxes for the different types of toys is quite helpful here.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Rotate your toys&lt;/strong&gt;: Supporting #2, you can offer your son some toys he hasn't played with in some time - except for the current favorites these tend to get longer attention. A possible extension of this is to put away some toys for a couple of days. Our child care has very good experiences with toy schedules (Monday dolls, Tuesday train, Wednesday Puzzles...), although I do not think this is very suitable at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More reading for example &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.becomingminimalist.com/why-fewer-toys-will-actually-benefit-your-kids/&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newparent.com/baby/toy-story/&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also keep in mind that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.earlyinterventionsupport.com/parentingtips/behavior/attentionspan.aspx&quot;&gt;a child's attention is just not that long&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2785" LastActivityDate="2012-08-27T22:21:10.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5913" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5921" CreationDate="2012-08-28T07:29:52.823" Score="24" ViewCount="4217" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually in a home, the mother will teach her daughter about menstrual periods, but consider this following situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my neighbor's home the father takes care of his daughter (at present the child's age is 10), and his wife is gone.  He has the responsibility to teach his daughter everything now. He is worried about how to teach his daughter about menstruation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way for him to teach his daughter about menstrual cycles?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3133" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-12-11T18:46:43.987" LastActivityDate="2018-12-11T18:46:43.987" Title="How can a father teach his girl child about menstruation?" Tags="|teaching|middle-childhood|single-parent|father|menstruation|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5909" CreationDate="2012-08-28T08:32:02.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the things kids don't like is a loss of interaction. My son started screeching really loudly, and our reacting with discomfort only made him do it more. Children like to control things, and it's natural for them to do what they can do to make people react. There's no point in getting angry and upset as they genuinely don't understand at their age, so I decided to try and provide feedback in the form of controlling interaction. Every time he screeched I looked away until he stopped, then I looked back. That worked for awhile, but then he did it again and looking away didn't stop him, he just did it louder, so every time he screeched I walked out of the room until he stopped, then I came back in. It did not take long for him to figure it out, and within 2-3 days he stopped and I never had to do anything like that ever again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order for interaction control to work you have to react quickly do an association forms: as soon as he starts screeching you leave the room and go where they can't see you, and as soon as they stop you come back in. If you do it promptly and consistently they learn to associate the behavior with something they don't like, leading to them stopping the behavior. If you don't do it consistently or wait until your child's been screeching (or whatever other behavior) for 10 minutes then you'll just confuse your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't convince a 4 month old to stop a behavior using words, they just don't get it. Interaction is a powerful way to communicate what you want, give more for positive behavior and less for negative behavior. It's much more constructive then getting angry, and it works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2012-08-28T09:51:28.103" LastActivityDate="2012-08-28T09:51:28.103" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5913" CreationDate="2012-08-28T11:37:59.193" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest the following strategy:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn the facts. Do a bit of reading to make sure you know the whole story, perhaps by talking to female friends. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then give a frank and honest account of what will be going on in the girl's body and why. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure the girl has tampons or pads available for when the event happens, and make sure she know how to use them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Delay telling the girl about these facts of life. Imagine how she would feel if she had her period, but did not know what was happening.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't make menstruation seem anyway mysterious or dirty (in spite of what the bible says) or anything to be ashamed of or that needs to be hidden. It's a fact of life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2012-08-28T13:16:42.760" LastActivityDate="2012-08-28T13:16:42.760" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5909" CreationDate="2012-08-28T12:32:19.043" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took a slightly different approach to the other answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I simply ignored the screeching, and exaggerated my reactions to everything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he smiled, cooed, burped, or even simply made eye contact, I would put on a big smile and talk to him, tickle him, etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he made loud, painful sounds, I made sure my expression didn't flicker, and I gave him absolutely no response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I figured that rewarding positive behavior, and ignoring negative behavior rather than actively discouraging it, would be an effective means of communication at that age, since they are so focused on watching for responses and learning how to interact.  It did seem to work, as the loud screeching phase was very short for us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-28T13:48:26.843" LastActivityDate="2012-08-28T13:48:26.843" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5917" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5918" CreationDate="2012-08-28T13:45:34.727" Score="2" ViewCount="13738" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have friends who need help finding a stroller that can hold a newborn and a 2-year-old at the same time.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found the Phil and Ted Navigator, and dot, which seem to have endless setup options with the bassonet add-on, but I cant seems to see any that allow for a newborn to lie flat with a toddler on board (toddler sitting, not on a clip on scooter or the like).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know if those models can do that?  If not, are there other &quot;stacker-style&quot; ones that can? (They can't use a side-by-side like the bugaboo donkey for some reason).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2017-12-19T04:30:58.597" Title="Can the Phil and Ted Strollers accomodate an infant and toddler at once?" Tags="|stroller|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5917" CreationDate="2012-08-28T14:38:09.553" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a Phil and Ted's and yes you can have a newborn lying flat with a toddler sitting, you do that by moving the second seat above the main seat and then dropping the main seat flat. You'll want the carry cot, it makes getting a newborn in and out much easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Phil and Ted's a good product, it's built well and pretty easy to handle considering you have 2 kids on it. The only thing is that the baby will outgrow the folded down part before they're six months old, and you may not end up using it that much. Most people ditch the P&amp;amp;T for a stroller and buggy board at some point. If you buy one new chances are you'll feel you spent a lot of money without getting full use out of it. I'd suggest you buy a used one in good condition if you can instead of buying new. Use it for a few months and then sell it on, they hold their value very well if you take care of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-28T14:38:09.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5919" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-28T14:57:44.810" Score="1" ViewCount="125" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of guidance on what you can feed your baby and when.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some food at 4 months &lt;em&gt;but you should wait for six&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No milk before 1 year &lt;em&gt;but cheese before then&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No Salt (&lt;em&gt;ever?&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No peanuts before 5 years &lt;em&gt;but peanut butter at some stage before then&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am really interested in knowing what is safe for baby to eat and when (and possibly why) I am sure there must be some good guidance but I can't seem to find it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2972" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T14:18:19.033" Title="Good resource for what is safe to eat and when" Tags="|food|weaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5919" CreationDate="2012-08-28T15:22:59.293" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure where you have gotten this information but it doesn't sound right. There's no reason you can't give milk before 1 year, in fact as you wean your child you should introduce milk unless they show signs of intolerance as they need the vitamin D, Calcium, and fat. As for salt children need some salt in their diet, but they should get what they need from natural sources. It's OK to add extra salt for flavor to your children's meals once they start to eat what you eat as long as you keep it moderate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Peanuts and honey I've heard avoid until they're one year old, then to introduce them one at a time and gradually. The UK gov says 6 months &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.food.gov.uk/policy-advice/allergyintol/peanutspregnancy#.UDzgS6PQtf8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fns.usda.gov/fns/corenutritionmessages/default.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's&lt;/a&gt; another good site for Child nutrition information. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for why there's confusion the fact is that nobody really knows as there's loads of contradictory information, and &quot;Experts&quot; who compete against each other in how paranoid they can be. My advice is to relax and not let the parenting extremists rule your life. If you limit your child's intake of processed food and encourage your child to eat a balanced diet with a reasonable amount of fruits and vegetables then your child will develop good eating habits that will serve him/her later in life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-28T15:22:59.293" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5913" CreationDate="2012-08-28T16:29:48.810" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a male who previously worked customer service for feminine care products, I think I might be able to provide some advice here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get familiar with the different &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category%3aFeminine_hygiene_brands&quot;&gt;feminine hygiene brands&lt;/a&gt;.  Assuming you are in the US, that's Kotex, Always, Stayfree, Tampax, Playtex, etc.  &lt;strong&gt;Don't just assume that having the talk is the end of it.&lt;/strong&gt;  There will be an adjustment period (no pun intended) as the daughter gets accustomed to wearing pads and finding which one works best for her flow needs.  In the meantime, there may be some embarrassing leakage incidents which will need to be handled with understanding and maturity.  Don't make this any harder than it already is for her.  If he's the primary launderer as well, make sure that he can identify and properly launder the staining and adhesive residue that will likely occur with some of her clothing during this process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spend some time in the feminine care aisle.  Understand the difference between the different products.  You're probably going to end up in this aisle trying to find the one product your daughter says that &quot;works&quot;, and it isn't fun to get back from the store with the wrong ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The internet is your friend here.  In addition to lots of product information, some feminine care product websites like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.always.com/en-us/lifestage/Womens-Life-Stages.aspx&quot;&gt;Always&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kotex.com/NA/articles-info&quot;&gt;Kotex&lt;/a&gt; brands also contain information about different women's health issues like menstruation, body changes during puberty, as well as suggestions for parents that are bringing up the subject for the first time with their daughter.  Some of this information is printable so you can use hand it directly to the daughter and allow her to read it at her own pace.  The Kotex site also has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kotex.com/NA/period-planners&quot;&gt;period planners&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kotex.com/NA/community&quot;&gt;message boards&lt;/a&gt; for asking questions that the girl isn't comfortable enough asking face-to-face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the internet isn't your thing,  pick up the phone and call the consumer services departments of these companies directly.  There are people there whose sole purpose is to make you feel comfortable with choosing, buying and using feminine care products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't try to do it alone.  There are people around that would be happy to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1267" LastActivityDate="2012-08-28T16:29:48.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5604" CreationDate="2012-08-28T16:57:56.580" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Shouldn't there be a tag somewhere on the cover specifying what kind of fabric it's made out of?  Assuming there is a tag (and it doesn't already include washing instructions), you can use other clothes you have (made out of the same fabric) for washing instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found &lt;a href=&quot;http://us.maclarenbaby.com/buggies/87/blog/master-db/category/4/page-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this link&lt;/a&gt; on the Maclaran website that suggests this is the case (and provides a fallback if you can't find it):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do I wash the buggy seat fabric?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Look for the fabric care instructions label on your seat. Most seats are designed to be hand washed in cold water, or sponge cleaned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience with the strollers we've gone through, if it feels like it has some sort of foam padding to help keep its shape, it'll be easier to get cleaner just by wiping it down - I find the washing machine doesn't work as well unless the fabric can &quot;bunch up&quot; (to rub against itself or other items in the wash).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-08-28T16:57:56.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5923" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5930" CreationDate="2012-08-28T18:40:35.017" Score="10" ViewCount="201" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have an active 10 month old, who sleeps soundly, but tends to roll a lot thereby hitting his head against the crib railings. Having a small apartment, we don't have much place  for a mattress on the floor, or a large sized crib. Co-sleeping is one option we consider, but we do find ourselves on either edge of the bed, in fear of trampling over the baby.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does any one have any ideas on compact furniture options that can be used, which don't pose as a risk to a rolling infant? He isn't walking yet, so bed railings are not an option, since he can stand and topple over them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1630" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-02-25T16:33:11.720" LastActivityDate="2014-02-25T16:33:11.720" Title="Ideas for infant bedding" Tags="|infant|sleep|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5924" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5928" CreationDate="2012-08-28T21:38:22.417" Score="7" ViewCount="2903" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old son just started kindergarten a week ago, and has already committed two infractions serious enough for the teacher to bring to our attention:  once throwing a serious tantrum, and once biting and spitting on another child.  Tantrums we are still working on at home.  Biting hasn't been a problem at home for a couple years now, and I've never seen him spit on someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal behavior for adjusting to a completely new social situation?  Is there anything we can do to help him adjust?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it helps to know his reasons, the tantrum was because he thought he was being punished for talking too much.  Although I have no doubt he has been told off by his teacher for talking, he wasn't being punished.  The thing he thought he was being denied simply wasn't on the schedule that day.  The biting and spitting was because the &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; child wouldn't stop talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We knew that keeping quiet in a classroom setting would be difficult and stressful for him, if you recall from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3426/how-to-deal-with-incessant-talking&quot;&gt;my question last year&lt;/a&gt;.  He has gotten marginally better since then, but still needs quite a bit of time for &quot;release,&quot; which I've been trying to give him at home.  What else should we try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-16T12:24:10.317" LastActivityDate="2019-05-16T12:24:10.317" Title="Typical frequency of discplinary issues for a 5-year-old?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5923" CreationDate="2012-08-28T22:14:47.053" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We cosleep and have never rolled on the baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've done this since she was about 1 month old (up until then, she slept alone with her mother), and she's now 6 1/2 months old. It's really cosy, even though there are often interruptions to your sleep. The first nights were tricky, because of the fear of rolling on her, but eventually you just become aware of where the little one is and tend not to keep your space. Sometimes you end up on the edge of the bed, but most nights you can just hold your ground and sleep with the little one touching you with her hand (or kicking you in the kidneys). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should note that most of this took place during warmer months, so we slept mostly without cover. The little one refuses to have covers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of tricks to ensure that you do not drag your  covers over the little one are: sleeping with your shoulder level with your baby's middle and have a separate quilt each. I do not imagine this is a problem with a 10 month old, as they are already very robust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are obese, go to bed drunk, or take sleeping pills, then the risk that you will roll on the little one increases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-08-28T22:14:47.053" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5926" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5952" CreationDate="2012-08-29T05:35:31.050" Score="11" ViewCount="1694" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Scenario:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My neighbor faces the tough situation that his 7 year old boy has started to play video games and he wonders how to stop him from getting addicted to them. Sadly, his wife is no more.. he's a single parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can a parent that works out of the home prevent their child from becoming addicted to video games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3133" LastEditorUserId="3122" LastEditDate="2012-08-30T13:41:23.263" LastActivityDate="2012-09-07T17:02:58.353" Title="How can a Single Father prevent his child from becoming addicted to video games?" Tags="|video-games|working-parents|single-parent|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5926" CreationDate="2012-08-29T06:49:19.367" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is 7, so the parent should still assert a strong influence on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming you are talking about home video games (xbox and such) or handhelp (DS and such):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child can play a game and stop after half an hour, I do not think they have a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are asked to stop after half an hour and refuse to or throws a tantrum, then there should be an appropriate punishment. I'd suggest banning all video game usage for a day. He will learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child shows no ability to control their video game usage, a total ban may be needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4yo is fine with iPad, I can stop him pretty easily. If he plays our xbox, however, he will refuse to give it up no matter what. As such, he is allows to play the iPad for short periods and &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; allowed to play the xbox.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 10yo has definite rules laid down as to when she is allowed to use our iPad (she has no interest in the xbox and only uses the iPad for reading fan-fiction). Any violation of those rules leads to a 24 hour ban. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T06:49:19.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5924" CreationDate="2012-08-29T08:08:55.120" Score="7" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is this normal behavior for adjusting to a completely new social situation? Is there anything we can do to help him adjust?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should ask the kindergarten teachers this, they have lots of experience to compare with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've experienced another child repeatedly biting my toddler. The cause was the adjustment from being at home to being in a crowd, and learning to share and get along. Some of the bites looked truly scary but luckily they weren't actually serious; for instance the skin always remained intact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you're still working tantrums, I wouldn't worry about them being a cause for infractions. I guess you agree with the teachers that tantrums are wrong -- you could also discuss with them &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; tantrums are to be dealt with, in order to give him consistent anti-tantrum training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like to slap on generic diagnoses like ADD based on any of this (including your other question). It's just a matter of learning to be sociable, which includes having to keep quiet at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I'd say this:&lt;/strong&gt; Continue your anti-tantrum training, just focus on that for now. If the biting and spitting happens again then speak with the teachers on how to address that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T08:08:55.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5604" CreationDate="2012-08-29T08:13:43.600" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless there are cardboard inserts, I would toss it in the washing machine and start it on a cold hand-wash program. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's just a little dirty, a soapy sponge and brush with lukewarm water should be enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't tumble-dry it because the heat could damage the inner materials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T08:13:43.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5923" CreationDate="2012-08-29T08:16:16.390" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you need any different solution than what you already have. He rolls around, and finds the boundaries. There's no harm in that; he won't get bruises or concussions from rolling in the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A larger crib will only give him longer crib sides to hit his head on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to shop around for some &lt;strong&gt;padding&lt;/strong&gt; on the inside of the crib; make sure it's something that is attached to the crib so that he can't become entangled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T08:16:16.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5931" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-29T16:58:47.650" Score="6" ViewCount="347" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4.5 month old son has recently started to grab hold of hair. It seems to be out of comfort or for stability rather than for 'fun', but we would like to discourage this behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way to do this without scolding him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2972" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-30T18:01:05.133" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T18:37:11.313" Title="How do we discourage our infant from pulling hair?" Tags="|infant|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5596" CreationDate="2012-08-29T17:48:28.470" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I sleep in the same room as my 4 year old son while my wife sleeps with our 6 month old. One pattern that I have noticed is that he will start to cry out in his sleep and get very restless when he needs to go pee. I will then wake him up and ask him if he needs to go pee. It can be hard to get him awake enough to answer the question and sometimes he gets angry because I woke him up but it's starting to get easier. I'm hoping that I can teach him that it's ok to wake up in the middle of the night to go pee. The next step is to remove myself from the equation. One day at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2873" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T17:48:28.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5933" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5938" CreationDate="2012-08-29T18:11:08.973" Score="7" ViewCount="426" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can a person alter what foods their kid will like in the future by consuming them during pregnancy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3138" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-08T20:08:43.680" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T20:08:43.680" Title="Can a kid's taste preferences be affected by the mother consuming them during pregnancy?" Tags="|food|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5934" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5935" CreationDate="2012-08-29T20:23:38.507" Score="2" ViewCount="151" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a part of becoming adoptive parents, a home study needs to be done for the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can be done to prepare all parties involved in the family (parents, siblings, etc) to smoothly get through the study?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="193" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-12T12:08:47.680" LastActivityDate="2019-07-12T12:08:47.680" Title="What steps should be taken to prepare for and smoothly complete the home study process of adoptions?" Tags="|parents|adoption|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5934" CreationDate="2012-08-29T20:47:43.807" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The home study is the part that sounds the scariest, but it's really the most insignificant part of the process.  They give you a checklist, just follow it.  What we found was that it was a convenient excuse for making sure we were mentally prepared for fostering and adoption.   The first time we looked into adoption we realized we weren't ready by the fact that we kept subconsciously putting the home study stuff off.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several years later we looked into it again, and when we finally got around to doing all the paperwork, installing all the childproofing stuff, and making the stupid emergency evacuation poster required in our state, it was like a milestone that we knew we were finally ready and had resolved our doubts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T20:47:43.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5926" CreationDate="2012-08-29T22:37:18.907" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not all video games are bad per se, but playing them to the point of ignoring all other activities (addiction) is going to mean that the child's development and life experiences will suffer. The same problems can be seen with too much social media or texting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We countered this by planning ahead and arranging as many interesting/fun physical activities as the weather/surroundings would allow - cycling, climbing, hiking, soft play, football, swimming. Inviting their friends/same-aged-relatives along would reinforce the value of the activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After expending a bunch of energy with the kids, it was actually useful for them to be able to play games quietly for a while so we could cook, clear up, do paperwork etc. There are a couple of caveats to this, though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) make sure the game-playing is done in the lounge - i.e. not the bedroom. We've found that when children have games/DVD/computers in their bedrooms, the battle becomes about territory rather than the particular activity. If the game is portable, establish a rule that it must be played in the lounge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) be sure you know what they're playing; games still need to be age-appropriate and not online. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The single fathers I know have used this technique in combination with a daily routine to keep their children's activities balanced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="18" LastEditDate="2012-08-29T22:44:14.760" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T22:44:14.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5879" CreationDate="2012-08-29T22:53:22.703" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Time-outs are a disciplinary mechanism. Why are you disciplining your child because they won't do what you want? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest trying different approaches:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're trying to introduce food, how about some interesting foods like grapes, apples, bananas, rice-cakes, cooked carrots?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the issue is that you're trying to reduce breast feeding, can you express instead?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they won't finish their milk after already having eaten, how about offering cool water first and milk in half an hour? A 'sippy-cup' is safe for them to drink it bit-by-bit later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T22:53:22.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5933" CreationDate="2012-08-29T23:57:35.193" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apparently you can, according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/555283-pregnancy-cravings-food-preferences-in-children/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article from livestrong.com&lt;/a&gt;, though &lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&amp;amp;aid=1343304&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the study this statement is based on&lt;/a&gt; has only been done on rats&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What you may not consider is that the foods you eat while pregnant&#xA;  might influence the tastes your child prefers after he is born. A&#xA;  healthy diet throughout your pregnancy supports your unborn baby's&#xA;  growth and development, but when you fill up on junk food, you might&#xA;  shape his preference for unhealthy foods later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I'm skeptical you can have much control over this during pregnancy - a lot of what their tastes will be form during the first year, and what's important is not specifically what they eat, but whether it is balanced and nutritious.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.justmommies.com/articles/healthy-eating-baby.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; has a good list of tips to help infants/toddlers develop good eating habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-08-29T23:57:35.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5939" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6007" CreationDate="2012-08-30T04:32:17.727" Score="23" ViewCount="10100" Body="&lt;p&gt;I ask this Question on behalf of my neighbor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their 12 year old son saw his parents having sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As there is only one room in their home we can't say its the parents' mistake... but now the question is &lt;strong&gt;how do they handle the situation?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3133" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-07-02T10:55:00.150" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T23:12:22.993" Title="How do you respond when a child catches his parents having sex?" Tags="|pre-teen|sex|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5940" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6027" CreationDate="2012-08-30T05:07:43.147" Score="3" ViewCount="208" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, there are quite a number of mosquito in my house even though I have no &quot;breeding grounds&quot; for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So,  I intend to buy mosquito repellent for my little ones as I am concern of the dengue virus that might spread by these little pesky mosquito.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After doing some research, I notice that in the current market, there are 2 types of mosquito repellent - one with DEET and another one with natural oil (e.g. citronella oil)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to some websites, DEET are harmful to my little ones. Also, those using natural oil such as citronella oil also are harmful as there are reports of people getting lung cancer after inhale such oil.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I was wondering are there any ways to help my little ones (and also me and my spouse) from getting &quot;love&quot; bite from those pesky mosquito?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastActivityDate="2012-09-07T02:13:06.597" Title="What to look out for when buying a mosquito repellent (or alternatives) for my kids" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5941" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5992" CreationDate="2012-08-30T05:13:46.040" Score="5" ViewCount="940" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been giving my kids monthly allowance to buy their food (lunch) and other school materials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, recently, I noticed they are spending their allowance on those &quot;gundam cards&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, how do I educate them that their allowance is for food and school materials - not other things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/oaqVs.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-25T23:50:40.930" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T23:55:38.630" Title="How can I get my kids to spend wisely?" Tags="|money|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5942" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5950" CreationDate="2012-08-30T05:20:07.713" Score="2" ViewCount="2749" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wanted my little ones to grow stronger, faster and smarter. So, is it recommended to give toddlers or little ones milk powder of higher age group or adult milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;e.g. For my kid of age 5, is it recommended to give them milk powder belonging to age group 7 to 10 or even adult milk? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-08-30T07:01:14.983" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T13:06:23.720" Title="Is it possible to give adult milk powder or powder of higher age group to toddlers?" Tags="|pre-schooler|nutrition|growth|milk|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5943" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-30T05:42:06.803" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-08-30T05:42:06.803" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T05:42:06.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5944" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-30T05:42:06.803" Score="0" Body="The period during which adolescents reach sexual maturity and become capable of reproduction." OwnerUserId="3133" LastEditorUserId="3133" LastEditDate="2012-08-30T06:10:17.273" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T06:10:17.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5941" CreationDate="2012-08-30T05:59:16.213" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't give them more allowance when they run out of money. Show them that it is a finite resource. If they don't buy food with the money, then let them taste hunger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T05:59:16.213" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5946" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5948" CreationDate="2012-08-30T06:06:36.983" Score="6" ViewCount="411" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was wondering what food should I buy for my spouse so that my toddler gets more volume of natural milk rather than supplementing with milk or formula produced by companies?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastEditorUserId="64" LastEditDate="2012-08-30T08:01:09.200" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T17:47:10.463" Title="What food should I buy for my spouse so that she can produce more natural milk for my toddler?" Tags="|toddler|breastfeeding|milk|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5946" CreationDate="2012-08-30T08:00:05.317" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One recommendation I have seen repeated a lot is the use of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fenugreek&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Fenugreek&lt;/a&gt; supplements to increase breast milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is at least &lt;a href=&quot;http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT00851591&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;one study&lt;/a&gt; that shows evidence of reasonable increase in breast milk production from Fenugreek:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most popular herbal remedy used around the world for increasing milk synthesis is fenugreek. Fenugreek (Trigonella foenum gracen) is a seed product from the legume family that is commonly sold, since the dried, ripe seed and extracts are used as an artificial flavor for maple syrup. When used orally in amounts commonly found in foods, it has been granted GRAS status in the USA by the FDA (Generally Recognized as Safe). Although it is used by millions of women around the world to increase their milk supply, we have only one small case report which suggested it might actually increase the milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In this one study, the authors found an approximate 40% increase in milk production&lt;/strong&gt;, although the study was not blinded, nor did they use a control population. For these reasons, we still do not know with certainty if fenugreek works as a galactagogue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The general consensus I've heard is &amp;quot;it can't hurt&amp;quot;, and it works for some breastfeeding mothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="64" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T08:00:05.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5946" CreationDate="2012-08-30T08:40:02.497" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I appreciate you asked for advice on foods, but you may have more luck with environmental factors, which have more evidence behind them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advice from our midwife and the breastfeeding helpline was to make sure you're doing at least one night feed (2am-6am). Apparently early morning feeds have more influence over milk production than the daily feeds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing we learnt is that the mother's milk supply will increase to match demand, so if you want to increase supply, expressing milk via a breast pump or hand-expressing may help. At the same time, if you're using a bottle of formula, that's actually reducing the demand, so only do it once milk's properly established. The same principle applies to carefully scheduling the feeds, in that your body will see that as reduced demand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/low-supply/&quot;&gt;KelleyMom link&lt;/a&gt; and this one from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/breastfeeding/problemsandsolutions/lowsupply/&quot;&gt;babycentre&lt;/a&gt; have some useful advice on how to check if your baby's getting enough milk, and how to increase supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T08:40:02.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5946" CreationDate="2012-08-30T12:48:55.590" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that in the end, it  doesn't matter. As &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5948/1070&quot;&gt;deworde states&lt;/a&gt;, the mother's milk supply is regulated by demand. If your baby tries to drink more, then the mother will produce more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, there are certain herbs that are considered to be helpful when breastfeeding, because they change the milk's flavour in a good way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;chamomile&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;aniseed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fennel&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;caraway&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can buy special &lt;em&gt;breast feeding tea&lt;/em&gt; that is made from those herbs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only herb I know of that should be avoided is sage, because it has a negative impact on milk production.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T12:48:55.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5942" CreationDate="2012-08-30T13:06:23.720" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is known that the composition of breast milk changes over time, to account for different nutrition needs when the baby grows up. &#xA;I think that is the reason behind different formula milk types for different ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;But:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Considering that you should start supplementing milk with solid foods after a few months (ask two different doctors when to start this, and you get at least four different opinions, ranging from four to eight months) and that solid food soon is the main source for all the babies needs, including micro-nutrients, I definitely think that formula milk for ages over eight months is nothing but a marketing scam.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, my wife breastfed our daughter, but we supplemented it with formula occasionally, when it was more convenient to do so. Our daughter would only accept the formula for newborns, we tried several times to give her formula for 6 months old children, but she just refused... So we stuck with newborn formula, all the way until we replaced it with cow milk after 10 to 12 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the answer to your question &quot;&lt;em&gt;Is is possible...&quot;&lt;/em&gt; is: &lt;em&gt;Yes, if the baby accepts it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is it more helpful than other formula milk? &lt;em&gt;Probably not.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Will it hurt the baby? &lt;em&gt;Probably not.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My recommendation: Give the baby as much mother's milk as possible, and if that isn't enough and her milk production doesn't increase to compensate that, supplement it with the formula type that your baby likes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T13:06:23.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5946" CreationDate="2012-08-30T15:03:13.570" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing many people forget is water! You can load her up with loads of fresh vegetables and good quality meat (which is a good idea), but it she's dehydrated production goes way down. A good proportion of people are chronically dehydrated which is very easy to fix. At least 1.5 liters a day is the minimum, some doctors say 4-5 liters a day which sounds excessive to me as too much can hurt production and dilute her electrolytes. I'd say focus on 2 liters at minimum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T15:03:13.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5926" CreationDate="2012-08-30T16:04:58.303" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's just like anything else.  You set limits and you enforce them.  Being a video game enthusiast myself, I wanted to point out a few things you might want to consider in setting those limits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some games are very easy to set down at any time, and some aren't.  Some games can only be saved at fixed checkpoints.  Some have cut scenes that can't be paused or replayed.  It's very unfair to just walk in and demand a game be stopped right then.  Unless it's truly urgent or they've had 15-20 minutes of fair warning, let them get to the next good stopping point.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's easier to enforce a maximum amount of time if you also guarantee a minimum.  It's very frustrating to be told, &quot;I think you've been playing 'long enough'&quot; when that number changes every day.  Clearly communicate the time limits beforehand.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sit down and watch him play sometimes, or even join in.  The benefits of that are twofold:  you are bonding by showing an interest in his interests, and you can make sure he is playing appropriate games.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some games are extremely immersive in telling a story the player participates in.  These are as hard to put down as a good book, or as hard to leave as a great movie, except the story is 30 to 40 hours long.  These games seem very &quot;addictive&quot; during those 40 hours, but once they are done I can go months without playing any games at all.&lt;p&gt;I solved this issue by only buying those games at times when being &quot;addicted&quot; for a week or so won't cause any issues.  Find out what those games are for your child.  Having a large amount of mostly uninterrupted time to play them can be a great reward after not playing any games at all for a while during something like final exams.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T16:04:58.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5953" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5960" CreationDate="2012-08-30T16:35:55.767" Score="16" ViewCount="2222" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a gamer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I enjoy playing video games, and they've been a part of my life since I was a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe there are a lot of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4917/are-there-any-peer-reviewed-studies-showing-the-benefits-of-video-games-for-kids&quot;&gt;potential benefits&lt;/a&gt; from playing video games, and I want to be able to share my interest in games with my son once he is old enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the technology is a &lt;strong&gt;lot&lt;/strong&gt; different now than it was when I was growing up, and hand-held technology has made video games ubiquitous and incredibly accessible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see a lot of children, including relatives, who seem too attached to gaming at a very young age, and I worry that my son will become so attached to gaming that he will neglect other interests.  It isn't an issue yet, though, as he's not quite 2, and his only exposure to video games is to occasionally play Fruit Ninja or Bowling on a smart phone (he enjoys it, but gets bored with it very quickly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to share my love of video games with him, but I don't want that to result in my attempts to share my love of nature, geology, archaeology, reading, etc. with him being foiled by my son being unwilling to put down his Nintendo DS (or whatever the handheld platform of choice will be then).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I worry that heavily restricting access to games could backfire; my mother made attempts to restrict my video game time when I was growing up, and the result was that I tended to play obsessively within the times that I was allowed.  In other words, &quot;you can't play more than 5 hours of video games a week&quot; has a tendency to become &quot;you can play exactly 5 hours of video games a week, so make sure you squeeze every bit of entertainment out of that time you can&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some strategies that I can employ to introduce games, but also instill in my son a balanced perspective that will result in a variety of types of activities, rather than focusing exclusively on games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-09-08T02:52:33.937" Title="How do you introduce video games without pushing other activities into the background?" Tags="|toddler|activities|video-games|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5931" CreationDate="2012-08-30T17:45:47.350" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 4.5 months, he is too young to really understand consequences.  Most behavior (if there is no danger) can be discouraged by ignoring it completely (don't do anything that might give attention).  The other strategy is redirecting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For hair pulling at that age, you can try gently redirecting onto something else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3139" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T17:45:47.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5931" CreationDate="2012-08-30T18:14:14.363" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son loved to pull on the hairs on my arms. It's surprising how much power these little guys possess!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I consistently said &lt;em&gt;&quot;ow!&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and withdrew the arm (if I could). I hope he learned that my consistent reaction showed that it wasn't pleasant. At least, he eventually stopped pulling on my hair so it must have worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T18:14:14.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5931" CreationDate="2012-08-30T18:37:11.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's uncanny how many women who have always had long hair get a short (albeit still feminine) haircut when their first child is around that age.  It also makes it easier to clean out the vomit :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most parents I know say ouch, make a very exaggerated frowny face, and gently but firmly remove the hair from the hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also helps to give the baby something else to hold onto, like a rattle.  However, then you might need to check back with us in a couple weeks for tips on keeping a baby from whacking you with a rattle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, generally when babies are in the stage of flailing until they can grab something, they are also in the stage of really loving being swaddled tightly so their arms can't move.  It sounds uncomfortable to us, but they love it.  They usually outgrow swaddling around the time they start crawling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T18:37:11.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5939" CreationDate="2012-08-30T19:43:21.623" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that parents should be there to help a child who asks for help. If the child does not ask for help, don't force it, unless the child shows signs of having problems and not being able to deal with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the current context this means:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the son behaves normally, there is no reason to force a conversation. It is not the son's duty to help the parents alleviate their feelings of shame or guilt or worry.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the son appears disturbed by what he witnessed or seems to want to ask what was going on but does not dare, they should ask him, &quot;would you like to talk about what happened?&quot; The rest of the conversation depends on the son's answer: do you have to explain sex? do you have to explain that daddy did not hurt mommy? do you have to explain that parents enjoy physical contact? etc. The son will state what he wants to know. The parents may only help him express what his questions are. They should know their son well enough to recognize the signs of a question waiting to be encouraged.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the son behaves in a disturbingly different way (does not allow physical contact any longer, appears afraid etc.), talk to him and, if you cannot help him with explaining (see 2), talk to a psychologist.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe (3) is highly unlikely in a normal family with normal children in a Western country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-03-20T15:48:57.043" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T15:48:57.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5596" CreationDate="2012-08-30T20:13:59.717" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pediatrists and psychologists believe that children cannot be trained to use the toilet or stay dry at night. The body and brain have to develop the ability to recognize the physiological signals that the body needs to urinate as well as the ability to hold urine during the night. Both developments cannot be forced or quickened, and they occur at different ages in different children (statistics are given in any good book on the development of children; e.g. only 50% of all girls are dry at night at the age of three and only 20% of all boys, and at the age of five ten percent of all girls and twenty percent of all boys still wet the bed at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't let other parent's tales of their early dry kids unsettle you. Usually, when parents believe they have trained their children very early, if you look closely you will note that they do things such as put the toddler on the potty every hour, wake the child at an hour to midnight and carry him to the toilet etc., so that in fact it is not the child that has been trained, but the parents who exercise his self-control in his stead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children will let you know when they are ready to learn to go to the toilet or not wet the bed, by asking you (in their way) to help them with it. Give the child pants that he can pull down and up himself, get a toilet that he can climb, make the toilet pleasant by provding reading material or music, allow the child to wittness how you use the toilet (children learn much by observation), make it possible for the child to climb out of bed and walk to the toilet alone at night by using a night lamp, put a waterproof sheet in his bed and buy a few spares so you have a clean one each night and each morning without having to wash them daily, and – most of all – don't make a fuss, don't pressure him, stay relaxed, he will eventually get dry in his own time. If the child can choose the time, it will all be totally stress-free for you. Just don't miss his signals, because if you force him to &quot;stay a baby&quot;, because washing the wet bed sheets is too much trouble for you, you'll have a hard time breaking the habit later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And don't expect &quot;dry&quot; to happen over night. It took my son about one year from peeing his swaddling clothes each night to never wetting the bed anymore. Expect &quot;dry spells&quot; and many wet relapses with a slow progress on average.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And most of all: enjoy your small child. In a few years you'll miss the child that wet the bed, because he will be completely gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastEditorDisplayName="user3140" LastEditDate="2012-08-30T22:28:55.983" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T22:28:55.983" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5953" CreationDate="2012-08-30T20:31:19.543" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is five years old.  Since he's not yet technically savvy enough to play on his own, the happy side effect is that video games are something he's forced to do with me, if he wants to do it at all.  That makes it easy for me to be an example of moderation and good sportsmanship.  Boys his age will almost always choose &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; activity with Dad over even very fun things on their own, and I am taking full advantage while I can.  Hopefully those habits will persist into the Dad-hating years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T20:31:19.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5953" CreationDate="2012-08-30T20:32:08.600" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main feedback I can provide here is to &lt;strong&gt;model the behavior you want to see in your child&lt;/strong&gt;.  If your child sees you playing video games a lot, they'll see it as acceptable behavior and try to copy it.  Note - even if you don't play video games a lot, it's what they see and remember that leaves an impression as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Video games can be &quot;easier&quot; for younger children to pick up compared to other activities - they get immediate encouragement through the game's sounds and visuals as they're playing, and adults will often let them keep playing longer than normal (kids are quiet and behaving, so adults will go do their own thing).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get that balance of other activities, do them and get your child involved in them with you, and provide continuous feedback, even if it takes them a while to learn to do properly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's easier to get them involved in other things when they're younger and more impressionable - the same technique can get them interested in doing chores as well (our 3 year old thinks doing dishes is fun, even if he's not particularly good at it yet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T20:32:08.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5605" CreationDate="2012-08-30T20:37:13.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(1) Your child might have a lively imagination. This is a wonderful gift, but it has the drawback that he can vividly imagine all kinds of evil that might befall him, and these imaginations will impress and influence him deeply. Try to help your child to see the positive aspects of his gifts (he can become an inventor or artist or scientist) and simply help him with his fears by providing him with what he needs to alleviate them. Ask him, what would help him, and give it to him without making a big deal out of it. It will be a passing phase, and a few months later he will stop needing to fall asleep near you or whatever it is that he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(2) Your child might be highly sensitive. This is a mixed blessing. Google it and read up on it. Again, try and be patient and understand (and help your child understand) his gift and the positive aspects of it. Great things await him, if you help him instead of making his disposition a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(3) Apart from physiological and cognitive causes (imagination, sensitivity), fear is usually the result of insecurity. Why does the other boy not fear the Slender Man? Because that child is secure in his place in the world. Children that are much afraid, often have lost a parent or have had to live with the (real or imagined) fear of losing a parent. This is often the case when the parents had a stressful time during the childs early months and years. There do not have to be any thoughts of divorce, but the child might interpret the tensions and intense emotions (even if suppressed) to mean that some fundamental change is going to happen. It is also often the case, if children are forced to endure lack of physical contact. Children that are breast fed one or two years are (on average) significantly less afraid than children that are bottle fed from birth. Children that are carried instead of laid in a buggy, children that are allowed to sleep in the parent's bed instead of being forced to cry in their own rooms etc. have gained more trust in the world and are less afraid. This is a cultural phenomenon, because breastfeeding, baby slings, and sleeping in the parent's bed are out of fashion in the Western world, and we bring up a whole population of insecure children. Strangely enough it is often the children of poorer families that are more confident, because they sleep in the same bed as their siblings and the parents have no money to buy artificial milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about the development of your child from birth until his current fear and try to be honest to yourself about how you might have helped him to become afraid of the world instead of giving him the basic security that you are always there to protect him. You did the best you could at that time, so don't feel guilty, but just try to understand your part of what made him who he is, and then allow yourself to try and give him the best you can at this moment again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(4) Stop worrying, because you will only worry your child. Are you a happy carefee person (and are the other members of your family), or are you afraid of losing your job / being mugged on your way home from the cinema / that your mother will die of the cancer that has been found last month? Often one family member will feel the emotions that another family member suppresses. Try and get rid of the real fears that your family has to face, and the imaginary fears of your child might vanish with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T20:37:13.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2012-08-30T20:55:42.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will not be able to argue that a ghost does not exist, because of course why should she simply believe you instead of her mother? You don't have the authority to know better. Avoid the conflict of your truth versus her mother's truth. Instead try and get on her mother's side: What you can do is explain to her why her mother believed in ghosts. That is understandable for a child and will allow her to differentiate herself from the believes of her mother. But think about this carefully and don't devalue her mother, instead make believing something wrong a good thing. For example, you could say that believing in ghosts helped her mother because it gave her strength to make a good life for her child. Ghosts are powerful and they give power to the person who believes in them. But they don't really exist, and the power is really in the person herself, she just does not know it. See how I change the meaning of the ghost also? In my explanation the frightening ghost is only frightening because it is strange, in the same way that a young child is afraid of cars or dogs, but when you understand the ghost, you will realize that it is a good thing, because it is actually your own power become manifest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: make the ghost something positive, something positive about the mother and something positive in itself for the cild, and then integrate it into the childs self-image.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try and understand the function of the fear in the present circumstances. The child has lost (?) its original family and is forced into a new situation. You are stangers to her, but she must trust you, because if she doesn't, she will be completely alone. In fact she is like a ghost herself, in a way, in danger of fading away, trying to grab onto the living.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An afterthought on frightening images.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly we are afraid of the unknown. Frankenstein's Monster is most frightening as long as we don't see it. As soon as it actually appears, it becomes rather harmless and humanlike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you have a nightmare, you are awakening to get away from it. You are afraid to fall back asleep, because you have to face the nightmare again. But if you actually force youself to stay inside the dream (something you can do in the half-sleep state before you become fully awake), the nightmare will close in on you only to prove itself completely harmless. Nightmares that I have faced in this way (by not waking up fully and simply stopping to &quot;run&quot;) have often turned into a reassuring and comforting emotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try and help the girl to &quot;meet&quot; her ghost, then it will disappear, because it will transform into something benign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T20:55:42.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5913" CreationDate="2012-08-30T21:05:31.253" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the other wonderful recommendations, I would suggest to the father to cultivate an atmosphere of open conversation in his home:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't make menstruation the only topic that you talk about with your daughter, because then it will be strange and uncomfortalbe for both of you. Begin by talking about how you feel and how you live life in general. Make it a habit to share your thoughts with your child. I don't mean to burden your child with the worries of adult life by abusing her as an emotional outlet. Just show her that you regard her as an growing person worthy of sharing your life instead of living side by side in different worlds. Talk about politics, you wish to find a new partner and the problems that you face, what you like about your job, etc., and make sexuality, conception and love one topic among many that you talk about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way, your daughter will talk to you about her worries and aspirations, and you don't have to force your knowledge on her or draw her secrets out of her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, accept that some things your daughter might not want to talk about with you, so encourage her to talk to her peers or female adults that she trusts, if there are things that she is more comfortable discussing with a woman. Just as a boy needs men to grow up into a man, a girls needs women to grow up into a woman. No one parent can be everything to his or her child, but you can help your child find the help she needs, by being open and supportive in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T21:05:31.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2012-08-30T21:33:49.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a five year old son and no tv at home. Recently we were on holiday, just the two of us, and sometimes in the afternoons I was rather tired of being my son's pay pal, and allowed him to watch tv in the hotel room, so I could relax. After watching for half an hour or an hour of tv, when, with his consent, we turned the tv off and attempted to go out again or whatever, he was strangely aggressive and &quot;high&quot;. To me that was a clear indication of what tv does to a child and why I have no tv at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Psychological research has shown a clear correlation between the amount of media consumption (tv, computer, video games) and the &quot;excitation level&quot; of the child, of his ability to concentrate, his aggression etc. Developmental psychologists recommend that children below the age of three should not watch television at all. They should learn about the world and experience it, before they experience virtuality. Let them lick their toys, eat sand, scrape their knees, learn to walk, feel the rain, AND EXPERIENCE OTHER HUMAN BEINGS, before they get nailed to the sofa and watch tv with vacant eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children at 14 months do not have an attention span longer that a few minutes. Children at five years can focus on one thing for as much as fifteen minutes. You see? Three years in the future, and fifteen minutes is normal development. You should adapt your expectations to your child's age. Go and get some good book on developmental psychology (e.g. Berk: Child Development, you can find it in any library I would guess, it is expensive) and learn what a child at 14 months can or cannot do. And get him away from tv. Don't give in to his tantrums, just do what YOU think is right for him. He does not know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you lack ideas of what to do WITH your child, stop thinking in that way. You are not brought into this world to be your child's entertainer. Take your child places where he can explore the world safely on his own. Go where there are other children. Children are not made to grow up alone at home. Take him out, create a group with other parents, etc. Think about what you would want at his age, and take him there. Make it fun for you and put him in that environment, and he will learn to make it fun for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid not only the &quot;tv trap&quot;, as Dave Clarke put it, but also the boring plethora of toys trap. Children loose interest in their toys quicker, the more toys they have. One toy is a treasure, three toys are fun, but hundreds of toys devalue each other and make each other meaningless: it would not matter, if one toy were lost or broken, so none of the many toys matter. They matter as a whole, but not individually. Children with too many toys tend to start to break them on purpose. They are interested in having toys and getting new ones (shiny new bike), but they lose interest in each individual toy quickly, because a toy is not something to play with but something to get and to have and then to get more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clean up your child's toys. With his help, sort out anything that he does not play with (and take out some of the things he forgot about without showing them to him). Then stop getting new stuff for a few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put him in a sling while you take walks. Go swimming with him. Read to him. Put him in a crib for a half the morning. Put him into life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2012-08-30T21:33:49.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5940" CreationDate="2012-08-31T03:21:28.400" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/13/health/13real.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;According to the New York Times&lt;/a&gt;, A well-placed house fan or two may help. I've also heard that using LED lights can reduce the number of mosquitos attraced to your area (according to eHow, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.com/facts_5825778_led-lights-mosquitoes.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;there are a number of logical reasons for this&lt;/a&gt;, but I can't find any reputable sources to back that up). I did find a &lt;a href=&quot;http://naldc.nal.usda.gov/download/38761/PDF&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;research paper&lt;/a&gt; that is looking at what wavelengths might attract mosquitoes, and if I'm reading their data right, they actually are suggesting that LED light still attracts mosquitoes, and some colors may attract more than others. That said, anecdotal data does suggest that LED light is better than standard or fluorescent light, for whatever reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since they're inside, it sounds like they may have found a breeding ground somewhere inside you can't find, or somewhere very close to the house outside where they can get inside. You may want to call an exterminator and see if they can find the source.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2805" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T03:21:28.400" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5967" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5969" CreationDate="2012-08-31T06:33:44.013" Score="7" ViewCount="4409" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that children who grown up in restrictive families become diffident. I consider myself the best example.  On the other hand, children granted freedom become confident. I have seen numerous children among my relatives that demonstrate this idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is, you grant freedom to children, they become confident, but they abuse the freedom and become a confident but spoiled child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can speak of two of my maternal cousins. One was raised in a restrictive family and another is being raised with freedom. The first one has had outstanding academic results and was hired by a good multinational company but is now fighting with depression, indecision and lack of adjustments with his family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other one does not have any interest in study but is living a tension-free and happy life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to solve this dilemma?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3142" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-25T23:58:50.850" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T23:58:50.850" Title="Children: restriction vs. freedom" Tags="|freedom|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5968" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="5990" CreationDate="2012-08-31T11:07:46.030" Score="6" ViewCount="262" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 5 year old girl is afraid of the dark, to the point where she screams whenever the lights go out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we help her get over this fear?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3133" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T12:27:12.383" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T16:06:57.967" Title="How do I help a child who is afraid of the dark?" Tags="|pre-schooler|fears|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5967" CreationDate="2012-08-31T12:22:14.310" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana_Baumrind&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Diana Baumrind&lt;/a&gt;, a psychologist known for her work on parenting research, identified different categories of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;parenting styles&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The restrictive approach you describe sounds very much like her &amp;quot;authoritarian&amp;quot; style of parenting.  From the wikipedia article (note that I find the article to be rather biased in tone, and it cites a number of claims based upon speculative correlation, so I am only including specific edited clips):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting, is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and directions, while allowing little open dialogue between parent and child. Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive, punitive parenting style in which parents make their children to follow their directions and to respect their work and effort. ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...Children resulting from this type of parenting may have less social competence because the parent generally tells the child what to do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other extreme, which you describe as granting freedom to the child, sounds like Baumrind's &amp;quot;Indulgent parenting&amp;quot; style:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Indulgent parenting, also called permissive, nondirective or lenient, is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child. &amp;quot;Indulgent parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them.&amp;quot; Parents are nurturing and accepting, and are very responsive to the child's needs and wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...in the better cases they are emotionally secure, independent and are willing to learn and accept defeat. They mature quickly and are able to live life without the help of someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is, however, a middle ground between the two extremes.  Baumrind referred to this as &amp;quot;Authoritative parenting&amp;quot; (emphasis mine):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Authoritative parenting, also called 'assertive democratic' or 'balanced' parenting, is characterized by a child-centered approach that holds high expectations of maturity. Authoritative parents can understand how their children are feeling and teach them how to regulate feelings. They often help their children to find appropriate outlets to solve problems. &lt;strong&gt;Authoritative parents encourage children to be independent but still places controls and limits on their actions&lt;/strong&gt;. Extensive verbal give-and-take is not refused, and parents try to be warm and nurturant toward the child. Authoritative parents are not usually as controlling as authoritarian parents, allowing the child to explore more freely, thus having them make their own decisions based upon their own reasoning. Often, authoritative parents produce children who are more independent and self-reliant. &lt;strong&gt;An authoritative parenting style mainly results when there is high parental responsiveness and high parental demands.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Authoritative parents will set clear standards for their children, monitor the limits that they set, and also allow children to develop autonomy. They also expect mature, independent, and age-appropriate behavior of children. Punishments for misbehavior are measured and consistent, not arbitrary or violent. Authoritative parents set limits and demand maturity, but when punishing a child, the parent will explain his or her motive for their punishment. They are attentive to their children’s needs and concerns, and will typically forgive and teach instead of punishing if a child falls short.&lt;/strong&gt; This is supposed to result in children having a higher self esteem and independence because of the give-take nature of the authoritative parenting style.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T12:22:14.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5970" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T12:54:48.953" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T12:54:48.953" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T12:54:48.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5971" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T12:54:48.953" Score="0" Body="Many people have questions about what amount of crying is normal, what is excessive, how to influence the frequency, or how to respond to a crying child." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-22T15:09:42.857" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T15:09:42.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5972" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T12:56:04.757" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T12:56:04.757" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T12:56:04.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5973" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T12:56:04.757" Score="0" Body="Questions relating specifically to reading, including learning how to read, problems with reading, and establishing behavior related to reading.  Please note that recommendations for specific reading material is off topic." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T14:46:18.073" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T14:46:18.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5974" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T12:58:30.133" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T12:58:30.133" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T12:58:30.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5975" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T12:58:30.133" Score="0" Body="Questions regarding providing proper nutrition, including strategies to get a child to eat healthy foods" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T13:38:05.497" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T13:38:05.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5976" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T13:01:04.873" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T13:01:04.873" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T13:01:04.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5977" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T13:01:04.873" Score="0" Body="Tantrums are emotional outbursts beyond simple crying, found commonly in stressed persons but mostly small children. In parenting, tantrums may relate mostly to toddlers but also apply to other age groups. Questions may be in regards to coping with, deescalating, preventing, or controlling tantrums." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T07:23:52.323" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T07:23:52.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5978" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T13:03:06.337" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T13:03:06.337" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T13:03:06.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5979" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T13:03:06.337" Score="0" Body="Questions regarding computer use including access, entertainment, and education" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T13:34:35.673" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T13:34:35.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5980" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T13:03:41.330" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toys can teach, entertain, promote mental growth, and sometimes pose hazards.  Use this tag to ask questions about toys for children of any age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NOTE:&lt;/strong&gt; If your question is about a toy which is actively causing your child pain or discomfort and medical attention &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be needed, please seek the advice of a medical professional in your area or use your emergency telephone number.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T12:09:45.613" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T12:09:45.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5981" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T13:03:41.330" Score="0" Body="Questions related to infant, toddler, young children, pre-teen, and teen toys." OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T12:10:03.973" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T12:10:03.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5982" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T13:59:57.300" Score="0" Body="" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T13:59:57.300" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T13:59:57.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5983" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T13:59:57.300" Score="0" Body="The psychological process by which children gain and retain knowledge.  For questions on how to teach, please see the &quot;Teaching&quot; tag.  For more general questions on providing information and instruction, see the &quot;Education&quot; tag.  For questions specific to a school environment, see the &quot;School&quot; tag." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-22T15:09:04.980" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T15:09:04.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5984" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T14:02:31.570" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Questions on bottle feeding may include those about storage, spoilage, temperature, types of containers, strategies for keeping an adequate supply, or any other question focusing specifically on providing nutrition to a child through a bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This tag can be used in combination with &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/breastfeeding&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;breastfeeding&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;breastfeeding&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/formula&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;formula&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;formula&lt;/a&gt; if the question is specific to one or the other contents of the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T21:02:12.817" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T21:02:12.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5985" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T14:02:31.570" Score="0" Body="Questions about feeding infants and young toddlers formula or stored breast milk from a bottle.  Also consider Breastfeeding for questions related to breast milk, or formula for questions related to formula, as additional tags." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T21:02:12.817" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T21:02:12.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5986" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-08-31T14:05:00.117" Score="0" Body="" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T14:05:00.117" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T14:05:00.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5987" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-08-31T14:05:00.117" Score="0" Body="Questions regarding a child's use of video games may cover determining suitability, setting and enforcing limits, or other questions relating to what role video games play in a child's life." OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T14:05:00.117" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T14:05:00.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5941" CreationDate="2012-08-31T14:32:10.993" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents had a very strict regimen for money:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You get no base allowance.  All money is earned through chores.  Lunch money is different (see below).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Doing a chore will get you a daily payment.  Clearing the table was $1 per time (the exact chore and monetary amount will change from house to house, of course).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All payments are noted on a calendar, so there's no argument about whether or not a chore was done or not.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids rotate chores according to a 'chore wheel,' which was posted on the fridge.  It was rotated once allowances were paid out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Here's the important bit: deciding not to do a chore would cost you $5.  So a kid could decide to skip doing the dishes, or whatever, but that would cost the entire week's worth of chore money for that chore.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cursing, breaking the rules, ignoring parental requests, etc, would all result in a predetermined penalty, once a kid ignored a warning that they were headed towards a punishment.  Minor infractions (cursing): $5, Major infractions (stream of cursing that doesn't stop when interrupted by a parent): $10, serious infractions (hitting a sibling, etc): $20.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids can end the week with negative balances, especially if they have huge tantrums.  In that case, they definitely don't get an allowance, and may have cost themselves allowances for weeks to come.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids with negative balances can do extra chores (weeding, which we all hated) to get back towards zero.  There are always chores to be done around the house, like laundry, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These rules could only be used once the kids understood money and do the math necessary to understand negative numbers and debt (age 10 or so).  My mom instituted these rules when she realized she could no longer physically restrain us or pick us up and remove us from misbehavior like she could when we were toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach had a lot of consequences on how I think about money.  First, I've earned it when I get it, so if I want to blow it on Gundam cards or whatever, that's my own fault.  I have a huge collection of moldy Magic cards to show or this attitude.  Second, if I ever want to be independent from the relatively arbitrary rules of my parents, I have to get another source of money.  Third, sometimes the person giving you money will decide that you've been bad.  You can argue with them, but they're the one with the money, so either you get humble to that fact or you get another source of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This money was decoupled from school lunches and school materials.  For materials, my parents would go with us to buy things from the office supply store.  For food, they contacted the school and determined how much, exactly, lunch costs (not relying on us to tell them, probably a smart move), and then giving us that amount x5 at the beginning of each week.  And as @Dave_Clark pointed out, if we chose to spend that on something other than lunch, then we got to taste starvation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This decoupling actually taught me about budgeting-- that there's a basic amount of money that you need to survive that is sacrosanct, that cannot be touched when you're trying to do something fun.  I also learned to plan out this basic amount in advance of when I was going to need it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your approach of a single weekly payout that isn't coupled to performance will come as a bit a of a shock when they suddenly need to produce work for food.  I realize that this scheme is complex, but it really helped me understand what it meant to earn money, as well as what it meant to afford something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T14:32:10.993" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5941" CreationDate="2012-08-31T15:28:43.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give your kids opportunities to learn that money is a privilege that must be earned, and that money is a finite resource -- when it's gone, there isn't any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trent has several blog posts about children and money: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;In short, we don’t believe in compensating our children for regular household tasks. We aren’t compensated for those tasks, so neither should our children be. Also, compensating them sets up a precedent where they expect compensation for those tasks, which stretches out for as long as they live here and perhaps into their adult life.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2012/02/21/chores-allowance-and-above-and-beyond-tasks/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2012/02/21/chores-allowance-and-above-and-beyond-tasks/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;For us, the rule of thumb is simple: the parents take care of basic needs, period. Basic needs means food, water, clothing, housing, school and field trip fees, and so forth. [...] Expenses for “wants” either come out of their allowance or are earned in some fashion.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2010/10/13/what-does-an-allowance-pay-for/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2010/10/13/what-does-an-allowance-pay-for/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;.. and more. It's a really useful blog about personal finance!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T15:28:43.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5968" CreationDate="2012-08-31T15:59:35.623" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a few ideas based on personal experience; the main focus is dealing with it as a &lt;strong&gt;gradual change&lt;/strong&gt;, and keeping in mind that all children are different, so something that works for one child may not work in this case.  Keep in mind that if she's that afraid at 5, the process may take a while - it needs to be done at &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; pace, not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get her a nightlight&lt;/strong&gt; - she needs to know you're taking her fears seriously, and that you're on her side and want to help. It's a lot easier to help if she's calm and not screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to her about her fears&lt;/strong&gt; - a five year old can usually carry on a focused conversation well enough to tell you more - is it monsters under the bed? Scary noises? Pile of laundry that looks scary in the dark? Or just that she can't see?  Each of these might clue you in to an idea that could help (checking under her bed regularly with lights on, showing her regularly what's making that strange noise, etc). You might find that she's more comfortable in other places/areas of the house as well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let her experience it gradually getting dark&lt;/strong&gt; - as it gets closer to winter this is easier without keeping her up late - watch a few sunsets, or sit around playing in the evening with the curtains open as it gets dark outside - try to delay putting on lights until she asks, and once in a while try to keep the lights off longer as long as she's still comfortable.  Try to play under blankets or an indoor tent where it is a little darker. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Read her stories about being afraid and overcoming fears&lt;/strong&gt; - head to your local bookstore and ask for recommendations - perhaps based on fictional characters she likes (Dora? Elmo? Winnie the Pooh?).  Hearing stories about other fears and overcoming them (&lt;strong&gt;including your own!&lt;/strong&gt;) will help her see she's not alone with her fears.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These may spark other ideas to try - the key is to stay supportive and go at her pace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastEditorUserId="3122" LastEditDate="2012-08-31T16:06:57.967" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T16:06:57.967" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5941" CreationDate="2012-08-31T16:29:17.687" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't need to teach them &lt;em&gt;how not to waste money&lt;/em&gt;.  Implicit in your statement is &lt;em&gt;what these kids like, that, that's a total waste of time&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Wrong attitude&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They like the Gundam cards, they're toys. They're fun to play with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you really need to teach them is &lt;strong&gt;accounting&lt;/strong&gt;.  If I have $10, and I spend &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; of it on Gundam toys, then I have nothing left for food.  This is bad.  I can spend &lt;em&gt;$1&lt;/em&gt; on Gundam and $9 on food, that's pretty good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Follow what they buy.&lt;/strong&gt;  At the end of the day or week (depending on how much they are spending), ask, &quot;What did you buy?&quot;  Have them show you.  If it's &lt;em&gt;too many&lt;/em&gt; Gundam cards then reprimand but don't overreact.  Overreacting will make them hide it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't guilt trip.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take interest in their interests and don't belittle.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T16:29:17.687" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5941" CreationDate="2012-08-31T16:59:26.030" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is the money you are giving them a monthly allowance, or explicitly for food and other school materials?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason why I ask is that the terminology can be important.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where I grew up, &quot;allowance&quot; meant &quot;your parents give you money that you can spend as you want&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that is what you intend, then you can't say &quot;no, you can't buy this with your money&quot;.  As bobobobo mentioned, your perspective on what is important will differ from your kids', and setting (from their perspective) arbitrary rules on what they can and cannot spend &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; money on will be confusing and frustrating to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you truly want it to be a generic allowance, then you should focus on educating them on budgeting, possibly by offering to help them plan a budget for how they spend their money, and assisting by reminding them of their planned budget when it looks like they may be straying; just remember, though: it is &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; budget, and they should have final approval on it (and they should also have to deal fully with the consequences should they overspend their budget, or plan poorly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if you really just want to give them money explicitly for lunch and school supplies, then you need to make that clear.  Furthermore, since you know that they are already violating that rule, it would be appropriate to put some new restrictions in place.  Namely, I'd suggest figuring out how much of the money you give them that you expect to go to school supplies, and deduct that from what you give them.  Moving forward, if they need school supplies, they need to ask you, or go with you to buy them, and you get veto power on anything that you don't think they need (i.e. the plain 3-ring binder instead of the more expensive binder that features Gundam units on the cover).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For lunch, you can either give them enough to cover food, with the understanding that if they use the money on other stuff they don't eat, or you can start packing lunches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there will likely be resentment that they can no longer buy the stuff they want.  You can either discuss possibilities for making money around the house (I agree with the blog Torben cited, and don't believe household chores should be rewarded with money, but by agreeing to take on chores that aren't normally their responsibility, perhaps a financial arrangement might be appropriate), or let them deal with the restrictions for a suitable period of time (a month or more, depending on how well they adjust, or how much they complain) and then consider giving them some money for them to use at their discretion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving them money to use at their discretion creates a lot more opportunities to learn about budgeting and responsible spending.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-08-31T16:59:26.030" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5993" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-08-31T20:24:48.933" Score="10" ViewCount="473" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have very different ways of handling our children (almost 3 and 5 years old). We agree about the rules we want to set, but we are &lt;em&gt;complete&lt;/em&gt; opposite when it comes to implementing the rules. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the last three to four years, I have been fighting to get my wife to implement the rules we agree upon and to be extra careful with implementing the rules myself. This has caused our relationship to be close to a breakdown and it is severely affecting the feelings I have towards my children. I look upon the time I spend with them more as work than as pleasure, because I have to spend so much time trying to get the children to enforce rules. The kinds of rules we are talking about are things like putting on clothes themselves, sitting at the table while eating, eating diversified food, staying in bed after they have been put to bed, not hitting, kicking, biting or throwing things at each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I consider my attempt to get my wife to enforce the rules in a similar way to mine as failed. And I believe it to be a high risk of our relationship breaking down if I continue to try this path. I don't believe that a broken relationship will improve the situation in any way, but only reduce our ability to solve the problems. Therefore, I am asking you whether I could just let go of most of the rules and still have children that turn out well. Do they need to sit at the table while eating? Can they fall asleep in front of the telly every night? Can they learn conflict resolution on their own? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are both in kindergarten now, where they are functioning reasonably well, but they have both had periods where the kindergarten have had to dedicate one employee almost exclusively to the child for a few weeks. This happened with both around the age of 2,5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3144" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-28T12:32:45.093" LastActivityDate="2019-05-28T12:33:33.190" Title="What is the minimum amount of structure and rules that a child needs?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|parents|rules|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5993" CreationDate="2012-08-31T23:53:41.590" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fix the problems between you and your wife and everything else will fall into place.  &lt;em&gt;First things first&lt;/em&gt;.  There can be no positive structured environment for the kids without a positive, healthy and respectful relationship between Mama and Daddy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and... listen, 5 &amp;amp; 2 years of age may be a little early for independent conflict resolution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3145" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-28T12:33:33.190" LastActivityDate="2019-05-28T12:33:33.190" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="5995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5941" CreationDate="2012-09-01T10:11:40.793" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it might help if you &lt;strong&gt;label the money.&lt;/strong&gt; I don't mean literally putting stickers on it, but when you talk about &lt;em&gt;allowance&lt;/em&gt; it's not clear what it can and can't be used on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you talk about money with your children, be very specific. You may give them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lunch money.&lt;/strong&gt; Determine how much they actually need, and give them exactly that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;School money.&lt;/strong&gt; Determine what basic supplies cost, and give them exactly that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pocket money&lt;/strong&gt; (or allowance). This is the only part that they can spend any way they like. They can use some of their pocket money to &lt;strong&gt;upgrade&lt;/strong&gt; their lunch/school purchases, like a Gundam-covered notebook. You can encourage saving and budgeting by paying them some interest on the pocket money that they save instead of spend.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they spend lunch and/or school money on other things (because they overspent their allowance), then deduct that amount from the next allowance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-09-01T10:11:40.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5996" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6018" CreationDate="2012-09-01T11:01:15.240" Score="10" ViewCount="12443" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is not quite 3 years old yet. He's doing great in terms of speaking except for one detail: &lt;strong&gt;whenever a word begins with an &lt;code&gt;s&lt;/code&gt; he will just skip that sound.&lt;/strong&gt; For instance he consistently says &lt;em&gt;top&lt;/em&gt; instead of &lt;em&gt;stop&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the &lt;code&gt;s&lt;/code&gt; is in the middle or at the end of a word, he always says it correctly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's being raised bilingual (Danish and German) and can say rather long sentences clearly enough that strangers understand him. Clearly he has no problems with learning to speak &lt;em&gt;in general&lt;/em&gt; -- it's just this &lt;code&gt;s&lt;/code&gt; that's weird.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this common? Is this a symptom of something to address?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-09-12T09:21:52.360" Title="Is it normal that a 2½ year old omits any &quot;s&quot; in the start of words?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1897" CreationDate="2012-09-01T13:59:03.787" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try kids shows.  In kids shows the actors usually speak slowly and clearly and use simple language.  Good examples are &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventure_Time&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Adventure Time&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ytv.com/shows/12/spongebob-squarepants&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SpongeBob Squarepants&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Movies may help also and actually may be better, for longer story content.  Anything with a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rottentomatoes.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;+80% Tomato meter&lt;/a&gt; is most probably worth watching, and look for G-rated movies (to ensure simple language).  Things like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Disney_theatrical_feature_films&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Disney films&lt;/a&gt; -- I'd start at the bottom of the list (most recent films) and work backwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't let her watch the films in her native language!&lt;/strong&gt;  Make sure she watches in English.  One thing she might try is &lt;strong&gt;her native language subtitles&lt;/strong&gt;, so she can suss out the meaning of what is being said, but is forced to listen to English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-09-01T13:59:03.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5998" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6002" CreationDate="2012-09-01T18:25:22.913" Score="4" ViewCount="509" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2½ year old son generally has no problem with going to bed and that whole routine but once he's lying down quietly it still takes him forever to actually fall asleep. &quot;Forever&quot; in this case being an hour or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had much the same problem growing up; I would lie for literally hours and stare at the wall, or the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come. Most of the time I wasn't very much aware that I had my eyes open but often enough I realized that they were. I got myself one of those black cloth eye-masks you get from the airlines, and that helped. I believe it was because the mask made me actually &lt;em&gt;close my eyes&lt;/em&gt; which was the subconscious factor keeping me from sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I help him understand that he should close his eyes to sleep?&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;I can't very well give my son one of those masks to wear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update based on first answers:&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's clear that he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; tired when we put him to bed because he doesn't attempt go get up again. He gets plenty of activity during the day. Also, no sugary things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We try to remove distractions at bedtime as a part of the bedtime routine: toys are put away, stories have been read (or a single Barbapapa video), curtains are closed, and it's reasonably quiet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-09-02T10:50:30.410" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T22:41:05.080" Title="Helping my todder fall asleep" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="5999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5998" CreationDate="2012-09-01T23:55:46.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Physical activity.  Lots of playtime.. lots of sunlight (not too much).. lots of walking/crawling, laughing.  Really really tire him out and he'll sleep like a baby (pun intended).  I would also skip sugar-based snacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3145" LastActivityDate="2012-09-01T23:55:46.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5877" CreationDate="2012-09-02T03:15:49.770" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.simplypsychology.org/piaget.html&quot;&gt;Jean Piaget&lt;/a&gt;, most children do not reach the level of cognitive development that you are talking about until they're at least 11 years old or older, and from the classes I've taught I would tend to agree with Piaget.  We also know that the frontal lobe of the brain, responsible for reasoning, planning, and judgement, isn't fully &quot;connected&quot; so to speak to the remainder of the brain until a person is somewhere between 25-30 years old (an interesting article &lt;a href=&quot;http://harvardmagazine.com/2008/09/the-teen-brain.html&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;).  While you can certainly have your son's cognitive abilities assessed, Piaget is a pretty sound source, though I believe in light of more recent research on the brain Piaget would probably revise his final level of cognitive thinking.  Be that as it may, you can read through his theory and more informally assess your son's cognitive abilities.  Some kids move through the stages faster than others, though I would doubt there are many 7-year-olds who could be classified in the formal operational stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how old your son is, and I certainly believe it doesn't hurt to begin pushing critical thinking as much as possible at as young an age as is practical.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/publications/observer/2010/december-10/a-brief-guide-for-teaching-and-assessing-critical-thinking-in-psychology.html&quot;&gt;D. Alan Bensley&lt;/a&gt; wrote an article about teaching critical thinking in college psychology, and he came to an interesting conclusion that professors/teachers/parents/etc. had been really going about teaching critical thinking skills all wrong because they were just so obvious to those of us who had all ready achieved CT skills.  We assume that by modeling critical thinking or challenging our students/children with more difficult work or throwing them into a debate that they will learn critical thinking skills in a more or less organic manner, but really we need to be teaching critical thinking skills very explicitly.  While you might not think that an article written for psychology professors could be of any use to you, he offers some good suggestions on techniques for teaching and encouraging critical thinking that I think you could modify to use with your son regardless of his age or his level of cognitive development such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Motivate your students (or child) to think critically.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  Arouse interest in your child in whatever it is you're trying to teach him.  Tell a compelling story, for example, about when critical thinking wasn't applied appropriately.  This helps your child to understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; critical thinking is important and see that failing to apply critical thinking can have unintended consequences.  Additionally, encourage open-mindedness, skepticism, and fair-mindedness in your child as lack of these can be a barrier to critical thinking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clearly state your critical thinking goals&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA; I think, at your son's age, this is probably more for you than for him, but it gives you the opportunity to really think about how you want to teach a certain CT skill.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find opportunities to infuse CT that fit content and skill requirements for your course&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  This is pretty self-explanatory.  If he grows accustomed to CT in everyday life then he should be able to transfer those skills over into academia.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use guided practice&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Provide feedback and encourage your son to reflect on it&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's just a few of his suggestions; there are a couple more but they didn't seem quite as modify-able (is that a word?) as the others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-09-02T03:33:36.137" LastActivityDate="2012-09-02T03:33:36.137" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5993" CreationDate="2012-09-02T03:18:06.553" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, it takes children a &lt;em&gt;long&lt;/em&gt; time and a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of repetition to learn such things.  That's why you rarely see three year-olds living on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, children respond differently to different adults.  It's very common for children to be &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more obedient to their father than their mother.  Your wife may very well be trying harder than you are to discipline the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have some patience and try to help your wife instead of blaming her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-02T03:18:06.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5998" CreationDate="2012-09-02T09:57:50.410" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is he lying happily before falling asleep? If so, I wouldn't worry too much about it. One of mine would lie awake for a while, so we gave him a few toys to play with, and a couple of the starter books so he could look at the pictures, entertain himself and then drop off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is light levels - one of ours really needed the room to be dark before settling, so we bought blackout blinds for her room. After that she'd fall asleep as her head hit the pillow, pretty much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="2785" LastEditDate="2012-09-05T22:41:05.080" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T22:41:05.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5998" CreationDate="2012-09-02T15:42:00.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried the old 'glass of warm milk'? Our 1.5 y.o. daughter has no defense against it and falls asleep right after.&#xA;It's unclear whether it has a physical effect (tryptophan often cited) or psychological (as reported in a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/04/health/04real.html?_r=4&amp;amp;ex=1190088000&amp;amp;en=0b4a9d49dc75fb0b&amp;amp;ei=5070&amp;amp;emc=eta1&amp;amp;oref=slogin&amp;amp;oref=slogin&amp;amp;oref=slogin&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NYT article in 07&lt;/a&gt;).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3148" LastActivityDate="2012-09-02T15:42:00.227" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6004" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6008" CreationDate="2012-09-02T21:19:40.160" Score="7" ViewCount="12010" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a kid grows up and has nut allergies (or food allergies of any kind), would it have been possible for that kid to have an allergic reaction if the mother ate that food while the baby is in utero?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3138" LastActivityDate="2018-03-22T05:24:11.633" Title="Can a baby have an allergic reaction in utero?" Tags="|food|pregnancy|allergies|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5940" CreationDate="2012-09-03T02:44:34.920" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Per your comment, you don't have screens on the windows. The screens do serve a purpose, and that's to keep insects out of the house. I'd say that's by far the safest and easiest option for keeping mosquitoes out of the house. Deet isn't the safest product and, even if it was perfectly safe, no one wants to sleep all night every night coated in sticky bug spray. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for worrying about air flow, I can't imagine a screen could possibly reduce air flow by any more than maybe 10%. If that's a concern, perhaps invest in a window fan to boost it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-09-03T02:44:34.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5924" CreationDate="2012-09-03T02:51:57.513" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Biting other children is unusual behavior in a kindergarten, tantrums are not. I would work on the biting problem first. Help him to find other ways to deal with being unable to control the other child's behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nicely ask the other child to stop talking. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the teachers help if the other child is bothering him.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Move away from the other child or ask for a seat change. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Draw an angry picture to show how he is feeling.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him to explain what about the other child's talking is so upsetting to him. Some children are noise sensitive and can't take too much verbal stimulus or loud noise at one time. Anger management counseling might also be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From kindergarten teacher 30+years&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3150" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2012-09-03T05:42:43.847" LastActivityDate="2012-09-03T05:42:43.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5939" CreationDate="2012-09-03T18:02:14.593" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is 12 then it is a PERFECT time to have the sex talks with him. When my boy was 4 he walked in on us in the middle of the night, should have still been asleep. He is now 12 and still remembers but he doesn't seem to be any more or less interested or disturbed about that subject matter than other kids his age. He talks about it as if it was mater of fact yet still treats it as a taboo subject like kids should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not talking about it might have kept it &quot;exciting&quot; and that isn't what I think would have been best in that situation. We don't talk about it all the time, but when we do, I think it is easier to get to the heart of the matter with him. Now I have to worry about how to talk with my 7 year old daughter...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastActivityDate="2012-09-03T18:02:14.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6004" CreationDate="2012-09-03T19:33:59.937" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Surprisingly, not that much is known about food allergies. My son has been part of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mcri.edu.au/research/research-projects/healthnuts.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;HealthNuts&lt;/a&gt; study for the past 3 years where they track 5300 kids with allergies. In those three years, they have reversed some of the previous recommendations. A recent &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/26/opinion/sunday/immune-disorders-and-autism.html?pagewanted=all&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;NY Times article&lt;/a&gt; discusses some on the latest research into the effect the mothers immune systems has on autism and allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to your specific question about in utero reactions, I do not think the scientific community has the complete answer yet.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-09-03T19:33:59.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6009" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6010" CreationDate="2012-09-04T04:40:55.340" Score="7" ViewCount="1314" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my friends has two children. One is male (14 years old) &amp;amp; another one is has an intersex condition (10 years old and has male and female genitalia).  Up until last month the male child stayed in a hostel, and he has to stay with his father from now on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The male child doesnt talk an used to abuse his sibling whatever he/she tells,&amp;amp;he hates to talk with his sibling he used to avoid talking and other behaviors with him&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is the male child is starting to hate his sibling (Due to the intersex issue).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can the male child's mindset be changed to love his sibling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3133" LastEditorUserId="3133" LastEditDate="2012-09-06T18:42:04.280" LastActivityDate="2012-09-06T18:42:04.280" Title="How do you help an older sibling understand an intersex younger sibling?" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|gender|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6009" CreationDate="2012-09-04T08:15:05.227" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see two possible causes for the elder child's reaction:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He has adapted common prejudices against transgender persons, which could very well be an issue at the age of fourteen. To address this, it is important that the father sits down with him and explains to him, why these prejudices are wrong. He should remember the first three rules of parenting:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;1) Be Patient. 2) Be Firm. 3) Repeat as long/often as needed.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the more likely reason is that he is jealous because he now has to share the father's attention. To address this, the father needs to explain to him that he does not love him any less, just because there are two of them now. We adults may think that this is obvious and doesn't need to be said aloud, but it may not be as obvious to a fourteen year old as it is to us. In this explanation, the first three rules mentioned above need to be followed, too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend that your friend sits down with his son and talks to him. Of course, with a boy of fourteen years, this can be quite difficult...  This is an important talk, so he should plan ahead, make certain there is enough time for it (at least one hour). He should give his son the opportunity to plan for it as well, tell him in advance that they will talk about this subject and that he should think about what to say. In this talk he should ask the boy to tell him his concerns and fears, and address them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-09-04T08:15:05.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6011" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6012" CreationDate="2012-09-04T09:56:27.217" Score="13" ViewCount="8164" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 6.5-year-old boy came home one day saying &quot;there's something wrong with my mind&quot;. After some questioning, he told my wife that he sometimes falls in love with girls and can't stop thinking about them (even girls he hardly knows). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? I tried searching for &quot;puppy love&quot; but couldn't find any references to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3155" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-26T12:32:02.523" LastActivityDate="2019-06-26T12:37:47.690" Title="Is it normal for a 6-year-old to say he's fallen in love?" Tags="|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6011" CreationDate="2012-09-04T12:30:26.840" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with his mind. The first time I fell in love was before my 4th birthday. I would fall in love all the time, both with girls I hadn't previously known and with girls I had known for some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with him telling you about this experience, either.  On the contrary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing that slightly bothers me is the phrase &quot;there's something wrong with my mind&quot; - but that's probably just a way for him to introduce the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So just discuss the subject and don't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1435" LastEditorUserId="1435" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T08:26:00.217" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T08:26:00.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5998" CreationDate="2012-09-04T13:38:30.237" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting himself to sleep is a skill he needs to learn, so follow a routine. Dress, brush teeth, tucked in with his favorite stuffed animal, story, lights out. Then leave him alone. Too often parents thing they need to do &lt;strong&gt;something&lt;/strong&gt; when in reality it's best to do &lt;strong&gt;nothing.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-04T13:38:30.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-09-04T20:21:52.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just because you think kids will have sex anyway doesn't mean you should hire a hooker for their birthday.  The question you should be asking is how to make it as easy as possible for them to make the right choice.  Like the proverbial driver keeping as far away as possible from the cliff's edge, the more obstacles you can put in the way, the safer they are going to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means it's not a false choice between education, a trusting relationship, a threat of punishment, or a strong lock.  You can do all those things.  It's Ronald Reagan's maxim of trust, but verify.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alcohol is tempting for teens because it's seen as an adult thing to do.  What's harder to see are the rules adults impose on themselves, so tell them about those.  It has probably never occurred to them to wonder why you don't get hammered every night, even though nothing is stopping you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along those lines, when an adult wants to abstain from alcohol, they don't keep &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; in the house.  Maybe that's unrealistic, but you also can't beat the message it sends, that alcohol isn't required to be an adult.  It's something to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-04T20:21:52.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2093" CreationDate="2012-09-04T20:29:38.847" Score="14" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  --Bilbo Baggins (&lt;em&gt;Lord of the Rings&lt;/em&gt; movie)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the question's comments suggest - your first step is to stop and breathe. &quot;Risks,&quot; especially as vague as you've described it, are infinite. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you ever seen the recent Toshiba commercials? There's one that goes along the lines of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;This product is ready to ship, if we don't include the built-in wifi.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Manager thinks for a moment and visualizes the following scenario: Guy tries to set up the product, but his network cord doesn't reach, so he yanks really hard on it. This pulls on the cables leading to his house, causing a wide-spread power outage. A few days later, some guy, somewhere else affected by the outage, drinks from a carton of milk, but the milk is bad and turn him into a zombie. So, the decision not to include wifi starts a zombie apocalypse.&lt;/em&gt; &quot;No,&quot; the manager responds, &quot;put in the wifi.&quot; (Whew! Survival of humanity crisis averted!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds absurd, doesn't it? Unfortunately, that's what a lot of &quot;must be prepared for every risk&quot; is (&lt;a href=&quot;http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;and it's more widespread than you might think&lt;/a&gt;). It's called &quot;worst first thinking&quot; and it will drive you crazy trying to identify and plan for every possible risk that you and your family might ever encounter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not to say, however, that you should just give up on all risk assessment and management, and none of it really needs software. So, here's what you could/should probably do instead, and you just need a pen and a few sheets of paper for pretty much all of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Come up with the things you &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; are risks.&lt;/strong&gt; At the moment, just brainstorm. Take ten minutes and write down everything you can think of during that time (chance are, you'll think of most of the stuff you're likely to encounter, and at the very least, you'll identify what worries &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; the most).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to see what other parents have encountered (you know, &quot;the things no one told you&quot;), then check out parenting blogs, the more humorous parenting books, or even comedians with kids. These types of resources will show you things about life in general, without the scare tactics that often come in a lot of parenting books (for an example of what I mean, check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GScWytRYPw&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;comedian Jeff Dunham's account of his daughter walking one of their dogs&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Assess how likely these risks are of &lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt; happening.&lt;/strong&gt; My house could, technically, get destroyed in a hurricane, but I live in Ohio. Even when the hurricanes &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; actually make it here (it's not unheard of, both Fran in 1995 and Ike in 2008 hit here and did quite a bit of damage), they're not going to be the full-force hurricanes that they were when they made landfall. However, there is a pretty good chance that a storm (any non-winter storm) will spawn one or more tornadoes, and flooding isn't uncommon around here, especially in the low-land areas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding kids, there's a very small chance that someone will kidnap my son while he's out in the front yard. However, that chance is even less than the chance of being struck by lightning. The more likely scenario is that he will run out into the road and be hit by a car, or one of the neighbor kids will run into him on their bikes or while running.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Plan for the &lt;em&gt;actual&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;most likely&lt;/em&gt; risks, and be reasonable about it.&lt;/strong&gt; To continue my tornado example - figure out where you should go in the event of a tornado (the basement) and make sure everyone knows this information. When a storm is coming, make sure you know where your flashlights are, and that they have good batteries. Have a plan for what to do if the power is out for more than a few hours (for us, it was to grab the perishables and spend the weekend at grandma's, for example). If you have a basement, make sure it's water-tight (you don't need a wet basement to begin with, but when a tornado is bearing down on you, you don't want to have to worry about water, either). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, with the kids, your most likely dangers will be things like bookshelves or other tall furniture (usually for little kids, who like to climb), cars in the road (kids don't often think to look for cars), and rusty nails (Tetanus shots &lt;em&gt;suck&lt;/em&gt;). Take reasonable measures to keep these most likely risks from happening, such as forbidding climbing the furniture, teaching them to look both ways before crossing the street, and to watch where they're walking (and just in general for them to be aware of their surroundings).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find the underlying patterns.&lt;/strong&gt; There are, obviously, a huge, huge number of risks, but, for the purposes of planning on how to deal with them if they come up, you'll find that there are a lot of patterns. For example, it doesn't really matter whether the power went out because of a storm, or if some drunk just ran their truck into your local substation. All that matters is &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; the power went out, and you need to act accordingly. Likewise, it doesn't matter if little Johnny stepped on a rusty nail, or Jane fell and broke her arm, or Nancy somehow caught the Bubonic Plague; the course of action is the same in all scenarios - go to the nearest emergency room to seek medical treatment. When you find these underlying patterns, you can be prepared for a lot more things without having to consciously identify and specifically &lt;em&gt;prepare&lt;/em&gt; for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Realize that risk management isn't just about preventing every conceivable risk.&lt;/strong&gt; In the IT world, we have a saying regarding security and risk management stuff - &quot;it's not a matter of &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; something will happen, it's a matter of &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt;.&quot; Or, in other words, sh*t happens. You can't bubble-wrap your kids, and you can't bubble-wrap the world. Common-sense stuff like seatbelts in the car, helmets while bike riding, awareness of your surroundings, and knowing what to do during natural disasters will take care of more than 90% of the risks that you're likely to encounter in everyday life. For the rest, well, that's what learning First Aid, keeping the emergency numbers in an easily-accessible place, and knowing where the nearest hospital and urgent care facility are come into play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't be afraid to take risks (and let your kids take them).&lt;/strong&gt; I'm not talking about playing Russian Roulette, here, but seriously, it's okay for your 5 year old to play on the swingset in your back yard. It's also okay for him to play back there without you standing over him. Could he fall off the swingset, or out of a tree? Yeah, it's possible. However, if you remove every risk out of your child's life, then s/he won't know how to handle risks, and once s/he's out from under you will likely &lt;em&gt;seek out unreasonable risks&lt;/em&gt; to sort of compensate, &lt;em&gt;completely freeze&lt;/em&gt; in the face of an unavoidable risk, or &lt;em&gt;have no perception of risk whatsoever.&lt;/em&gt; None of these situations are good things. Without a perception of risk, one's more likely to engage in risky behavior; freezing in the face of an unavoidable risky situation could mean getting even more hurt; and seeking out risk...well, I think that one's a given.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit to add:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're starting a new life event (you mentioned a child starting kindergarten), then think about the typical day with the new life piece. In the case of kindergarten, you get your child up, s/he gets dressed, eats breakfast, and probably either walks or rides a bus to school. S/he then spends 3-7 or so hours (depending on if it's half or whole day), then comes home, plays, eats dinner, and goes to bed. Okay, now we have a starting place! Now, what dangers might s/he face? Well, if s/he walks, s/he might risk getting hit by a car if s/he has to cross a street. If s/he rides a bus, the bus might get into an accident. In either situation, or at school, s/he might encounter bullies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, well, you can't do anything about the bus getting into an accident, though you can make sure to teach your child to stay seating at all times while the bus is moving, and trust the bus driver to drive safely and that the &quot;seated at all times&quot; rule is enforced. If s/he would be walking to school, you could walk with them for a few weeks to ensure that s/he can walk the route safely (and that s/he knows the route and won't get lost), and make sure that s/he knows how to cross streets safely. For the bullies, you can teach your child to stand up for him/herself, how to avoid conflict, and how to physically defend him/herself when necessary (martial arts are great for pretty much all of this, if it's something they're interested in).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastEditorUserId="1155" LastEditDate="2012-09-05T11:56:18.597" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T11:56:18.597" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2012-09-05T11:30:41.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course you can lock your liquor cabinet, but it won't prevent your child from helping him/herself if he/she wants to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home it was always clear that the alcohol in the liquor cabinet was &quot;for the family&quot; (in facts for guests, as my parents only drank wine which they shared with children on sundays). My father only told me &quot;Do what you want, but don't make stupid things, and don't get caught&quot; (he meant he didn't want to see me drunk, well he never did, as I never saw him drunk in my life).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3162" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T11:30:41.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5996" CreationDate="2012-09-05T17:06:14.307" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://thespeechpath.com/pediatricservices.aspx.html&quot;&gt;pediatric speech therapy site&lt;/a&gt; it's perfectally normal if this happens up to 4-5 years old. Following is a list of milestones expected for a child between the ages four and five.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4 - 5 Years&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Voice sounds clear like other children’s  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Uses sentences that give lots of details (e.g. “I like to read my books”)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Tells stories that stick to topic&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Communicates easily with other children and adults&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Says most sounds correctly except a few like l, s, r, v, z, ch, sh, th&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Uses the same grammar as the rest of the family&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry at all as it sounds like your little one is doing very well and is even advanced. The milestones for your toddler's age are as follows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2 - 3 Years&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Has a word for almost everything &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Uses 2-3 word “sentences” to talk about and ask for things &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Speech is understood by familiar listeners most of the time &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Often asks for or directs attention to objects by naming the[m] &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T17:06:14.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5946" CreationDate="2012-09-05T17:47:10.463" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things that &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;increase&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; milk production: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;malt beer (naturally alcohol-free)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;malt-based coffee substitute&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;herbal breast feading teas &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Herbs that &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;reduce&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; milk production (maybe she takes some and just needs to avoid them):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sage&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(pepper)mint&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3164" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T17:47:10.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4684" CreationDate="2012-09-05T18:09:49.273" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can almost agree with Torben's answer, but I think his conclusion is a little too gentle to the point of placing an additional burden on you. DVK's comments have the right attitude, but are a bit too passive for what you're describing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the topic comes up, I recommend calmly explaining exactly what you believe and don't believe. I don't think dancing around the issue is going to help you at all. Use common sense, be polite and respectful, and don't feel the need to get into a theological debate, but don't censor your beliefs, lie by omission, or hide your thoughts to preserve the relationship. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As disturbing and sad as it may be, if your parents would reject you for this, you already don't have a good relationship, just the illusion of one based on an arbitrary condition. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be strong enough to face the fact that this may not end well and bring up the topic. Others have indicated that merely expressing your disbelief is somehow disrespectful and I encourage you to reject that notion completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last tip on implementation: Be positive! Instead of saying you reject Christianity, why not explain to your parents what you actually believe now? For example, if asked about a church, explain that you've become a humanist (e.g.) and have begun exploring that through meetings/books/study/etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T18:09:49.273" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5953" CreationDate="2012-09-05T22:13:53.980" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given the opportunity, children will play computer games all day, and ignore everything else going on around them. Obviously, you don't want this. Some of the following may help: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Specify certain days or times when they may play computer (or console) games. Stick to these&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be fairly strict about whingeing and moaning when they are asked to stop. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have lots of other interesting things to do. Tell them that they can go and do one of these activities instead. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But gaming is part of life these days. It's OK as long as they don't do it too much&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3053" LastActivityDate="2012-09-05T22:13:53.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2012-09-06T02:13:18.913" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No one will replace your dad.  However, in his absence maybe he would be pleased that someone was stepping up to love the people he would love if he were still here?  I don't know if that alternative view might help.  In our family we have a whole mess of step this and step that, and so names are often more about roles than biology.  Perhaps grandpa joe? or big joe?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you would have used grandpa for your dad, perhaps you could use grandad?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know that whatever you decide, your father is honoured by who you have become.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3166" LastActivityDate="2012-09-06T02:13:18.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6009" CreationDate="2012-09-06T04:50:22.990" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You cannot make anyone love anyone else, neither should you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should be attempting, is to have your family treat each other kindly. It is natural to hate your siblings, or tease them (usually focusing on what makes them different). You are attempting to solve the wrong problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3054" LastActivityDate="2012-09-06T04:50:22.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2012-09-06T13:26:45.237" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What people call each other reflects their relationship with each other.  It neither adds nor takes away from their relationship or their memory of anyone else.  It seems like you're the only one who has a problem with it.  I can understand that.  My mom divorced and remarried when I was over 30.  Since I never lived with my stepdad I don't feel like he filled the &quot;Dad&quot; role in my life, so I call him by his first name.  He does, however, currently fill the Grandpa role in my childrens' lives, and I see nothing wrong with him being addressed that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children themselves are perfectly capable of adjusting to names.  My siblings and I called my Dad &quot;Honey&quot; until I was 5, because that's what my Mom called him.  They asked us to stop and we did.  My children call any old man who is nice to them &quot;Grandpa,&quot; but we don't correct them because they are perfectly capable of understanding they have no familial connection.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had foster kids who would call me &quot;Dad&quot; at home because that's what my biological daughter called me, but when we visited their birth parents they didn't feel comfortable calling me Dad, and I understood perfectly.  The name is really the least important part of a relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-06T13:26:45.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5940" CreationDate="2012-09-07T02:13:06.597" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, I found another way of repel the mosquito by installing a ceiling fan (and setting the speed to the max). My little ones have not get bitten by those mosquito ever since then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastActivityDate="2012-09-07T02:13:06.597" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6029" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-07T16:16:44.527" Score="2" ViewCount="363" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter wants and needs to learn to cook.  As a single father that doesn't know how himself, I wish I could cook and want my 12-year-old daughter to learn about cooking.  I'm sure there are other life skills children also need that their parent or parents don't always really know how to do either.  How do you go about figuring out how to teach such skills to your kids when you don't have the skills yourself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3133" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T00:13:39.293" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T00:13:39.293" Title="How does a parent that does not know a basic life skill make sure their child obtains that skill?" Tags="|working-parents|single-parent|cooking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="11" ClosedDate="2012-09-10T02:18:16.767" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6030" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-09-07T16:17:57.287" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cooking often involves the application of heat for preparing food, but can also be understood more broadly as &quot;food preparation&quot;. Making a sandwich, for example, does not require heat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-23T12:26:23.967" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T12:26:23.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6031" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-07T16:17:57.287" Score="0" Body="The process of preparing food to be eaten." OwnerUserId="3242" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-23T12:26:23.967" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T12:26:23.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5926" CreationDate="2012-09-07T17:02:58.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can always use technology to help. One of the issues of getting kids to stop playing games is that the parents are perceived as 'bad parents'. The kids don't react well to nagging, and if they stop playing games at that moment, whose to say they aren't going to resume when you aren't looking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some freely available tools that can help parents deal with this problem. If your child spends a lot of time playing  with an Android device, check out Kytephone (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.kytephone.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;www.kytephone.com&lt;/a&gt;). It's a free Android app that lets parents set time limits on games. So the parent would just say their child can play games for 1 hour per day, and once that time limit is reached, the game would quit and not run again until the next day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3168" LastActivityDate="2012-09-07T17:02:58.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6029" CreationDate="2012-09-07T18:14:47.577" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since neither of you knows how to cook you may wish to have a look at CBeebies &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/i-can-cook/games/i-can-cook-game/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Cooking Game&lt;/a&gt;.&#xA;The game essentially consists of interactive, visual, step by step instructions of a number of different recipes. The instruction of the recipes used in the game are child friendly and easy to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I made tomato spirals last week with a 4 year old. I let her play the game before we started cooking so she understood what we needed to do. She's still a little bit young so it got a bit messy (there was flour everywhere :) but we did manage to successfully make the dish together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't like the recipe ideas used in the CBeebies cooking game the BBC has another cooking recipes resource for kids &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/content/recipes/favourites/kids-cooking/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3169" LastActivityDate="2012-09-07T18:14:47.577" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6035" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-07T19:21:36.623" Score="5" ViewCount="204037" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't know what could it be but my daughter keeps on crying every night.&#xA;She's sleeping and suddenly she starts crying.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Hungry ? (She drinks her last bottle of milk around 8pm.)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Maybe teething? (every night, don't think so)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Miss being in mommy's and daddy's bed? (she cries even if she's in our bed)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'm out of ideas, and we are kind of exhausted!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Any ideas what might be the reason for her to cry every night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3171" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-09-09T10:32:59.840" LastActivityDate="2014-11-10T17:34:12.753" Title="My 1yr 3month old daughter crying every night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|crying|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6035" CreationDate="2012-09-07T21:33:38.223" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest talking to your doctor.  Is it possible she is having stomach pains?  How easily does she soothe when you are up with her?  Is the temperature comfortable for her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here are my suggestions:&#xA;evaluate what she is eating/drinking? For example lactose intolerance may be showing up like this.&#xA;experiment with what she wears to bed.  Perhaps her pjs are too warm or too cool for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all wake up many times in the night, but mostly we put ourselves back to sleep.  Children are not born with that skill however, and so often when they awake it is distressing to them.  If it does not appear that there are other physical factors, such as lactose intolerance or some discomfort, just reassure her that you are there and tuck her back in.  Do this in the least interactive manner possible, preferably just talking to her but not touching her except to give back a soother or cover her up.  Good luck - it will pass eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3166" LastActivityDate="2012-09-07T21:33:38.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6037" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-08T00:25:44.153" Score="6" ViewCount="203" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old is starting kindergarten.  He is young for his age and has some sensory processing difficulties.  What can i do to make his adjustment period easier?  His program is all day, every day - with no nap.  He is coming home exhausted and very grumpy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3166" LastActivityDate="2012-09-08T16:41:40.137" Title="How can I help my 4 yr old adjust to junior kindergarten?" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5953" CreationDate="2012-09-08T02:52:33.937" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a gamer as well.  I have two sons, one is four and the other two.  The eldest started playing computer games when he was two.  The youngest is starting to learn to play now.  His brother has been teaching him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than thinking of video games as something that can inhibit, use them to pique your son's interest.  You can do this in a variety of ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reading skills&lt;/strong&gt;. Help your son learn to recognize the common vocabulary of gaming, like &quot;save, load, options, mission.&quot;  It's a great confidence builder, and chance are, he'll be excited that he can navigate the menus on his own.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Listening comprehension&lt;/strong&gt;. Talk about the vocabulary that the characters use in their dialogue, discuss how the story is unfolding, and help interpret verbal instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pretend play&lt;/strong&gt;. Our rule is that our son must spend an hour &quot;moving his body&quot; for every half hour of game play.  He will act out scenes from the game, run around and fight bad guys in the yard, make up stories in the car that use the characters from the game. (One of my favorites that my son made up was that Obi-Wan and Annakin go to a birthday party, and the Jango Fett crashes the party, but they've hidden their lightsabers &lt;em&gt;in the birthday cake&lt;/em&gt;, so they defeat the bad guy, but there is cake everywhere so they have to lick the frosting off the windows.  Hilarious.)  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Creative thinking&lt;/strong&gt;.  What I think is most important is talking through problem solving.  My son is shockingly good at analyzing a scenario and figuring out a tactic to fight bad guys or solve puzzles.  We have spent a lot of time verbalizing our strategies when we play.  He has begun applying logical thinking to real-life situations, and I honestly think that it is because of the time we've spent together talking about problem solving.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Inspiration&lt;/strong&gt;.  We made a potato cannon when we were playing Ratchet and Clank.  We made kites like Clank's flying wings.  We learned about electromagnets and skateboards and plasma and how rockets work.  We built a catapult and talked about how levers work.  We've even had a long discussion about gamma radiation.  You can use the games that your son plays as a starting point for introducing exciting real-life stuff that he might not ever have thought of.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in short, games are fun, and you can use that to your child's advantage.  Have fun together!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-09-08T02:52:33.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6035" CreationDate="2012-09-08T13:40:30.740" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience, it seems like every parent I know (including myself) has this exact same problem sometime around their child's first birthday.  Their kid goes from being a stellar sleeper to suddenly waking up in the middle of the night.  Sometimes their child is upset; sometimes they just want to wake up and play.  Sometimes approaching new milestones can cause this; sometimes a growth spurt.  Lots of things are going on in your little girl's body and any one of those things could be waking her up, and she doesn't really know how to get herself back to sleep.  And she's probably disoriented.  I agree with Jaysker.  Check to see if she's comfortable.  Your body temperature goes down when you sleep, so while she might be perfectly comfortable in her summer jammies at bedtime, after she's slept for a few hours she might wake up cold--especially since the weather is starting to get cooler (and, if she's anything like either of my children, she kicks the blanket off of her).  The solution might be as simple as putting on a pair of socks for the time being.  If it's a growth spurt, she might be waking up hungry or thirsty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be teething--especially if her back molars are coming in. Every time one of them flared up in my daughter, she was miserable until it either subsided or finally came through (it was so bad that she'd wake up bleeding from her gums, but I've been told this is exceptionally rare and is not something I experienced with my older son).  Tylenol helped, but it takes about 15 minutes to kick in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't think she's sick or that she has any food allergies that could be aggravating her, give it a few more weeks and see if it sorts itself out.  I know that's not the solution you want to hear, but it really does seem like it's a phase most kids go through.  You can find various methods for teaching her to self-sooth and working through those (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; website discusses various methods for sleep training your child and dealing with night wakings).  It may take awhile for your daughter to figure this all out.  My son was about three before he finally got to the point where he could put himself to sleep and stay asleep in his bed all night, and he still occasionally comes to our room in the middle of the night wanting to get in bed with us, but that's a different story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-09-08T13:40:30.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6042" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6045" CreationDate="2012-09-08T16:18:22.307" Score="6" ViewCount="1651" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3-month-old baby and I was wondering what kind of controlled and most importantly, safe home-made scientific experiments I can do with my baby to understand his development, his behavior and his learning curve at different stages of growth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this is mostly done by experts, but considering we have been gifted with a baby and that it is such a unique opportunity to learn about little humans we have at home, I wanted to know what other parents do to learn about their kids without compromising their safety obviously. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking this one step further, wouldn't it be amazing that parents all over the world could do safe controlled experiments and share the results? It would be like a global, open-source way of contributing to baby science.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples could be: their reaction to music, sounds, moving objects, animals, colors, textures, technology, human interaction. How far they can see at each stage, when they are able to recognize themselves in a mirror (&lt;a href=&quot;http://kogler.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/toddlers-and-the-mirror-test/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Toddlers And The Mirror Test&lt;/a&gt;)?, when can they grab different type of things? when will they begin using tools?, lots of other experiments related to language learning, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3176" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-27T13:21:58.063" LastActivityDate="2019-03-27T13:21:58.063" Title="What kind of controlled safe scientific experiments can be conducted on a baby?" Tags="|infant|newborn|development|safety|science|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6037" CreationDate="2012-09-08T16:41:40.137" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm answering this assuming that your son doesn't mind going to school–that he doesn't throw a fit in the morning and seems okay with going in. I'm also assuming that he doesn't have major behavioral issues during the day, just after school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's the case, then there isn't much you can do. He's having to put a lot of effort into meeting expected behaviors at school, and its wiping him out by the time he gets home. He's used up his &quot;being good&quot; points for the day, and he needs to restock them!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He might need a bigger snack than usual, or one with more sugar (I'm thinking fruit, not candy). Or it might help to move dinner forward... my kids usually feel better after dinner than they do before. If he has afternoon chores, lighten that load.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also try reading a favorite (calming) book, making sure that the house is quiet and cool, reducing light levels, or establishing a &lt;a href=&quot;http://momshomeroom.msn.com/parenting-articles/learning_memory/healing-places--calming-spaces/251534567&quot;&gt;&quot;healing place&quot;&lt;/a&gt;. A grumpy kid might just need a little alone time to relax. Is there music he especially likes? It might help if that music was playing in the car or when he comes home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside of that, time. He probably isn't quite used to this new place and new routine. When my son was three, we changed his daycare to a Montessori school. It took him a couple of months to fully adjust to the new school. He liked going, but when we picked him up in the afternoon he was just wiped out and cranky... and that was &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; a nap. It got better as he got more familiar with the new place and new expectations and it was easier for him to deal with his day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-09-08T16:41:40.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6042" CreationDate="2012-09-08T19:03:13.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the best methods I know is to provide age-appropriate toys and then &lt;strong&gt;observe.&lt;/strong&gt; Participate as much as you like (more is better) but don't lead too much so that the child isn't paced too hard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep a diary if you like: You could record milestones like: able to turn from back to belly, able to turn back again, able to hold an item, able to sit, able to ... you get the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get some parenting books that include these milestones and compare against your notes. Get inspiration from the books on what things to look for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-09-08T19:03:13.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6042" CreationDate="2012-09-08T19:07:36.343" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could do almost anything, but I think you should set yourself some ground rules. Obviously you don't want to put your baby into any kind of potentially harmful situation. You want to avoid any experiments that cause undue stress... no witholding of food, sleep, or affection, no stress testing their capacity for discomfort, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; you do? I would restrict myself to observational experiments. How does your child react to a new song? What about a familiar song? What toys are they interested in? How long do they look at thing X or thing Y? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep an object in the room for a week. Not an object they'll get attached to, like a teddy bear, but something neutral. Remove the object. Do they seem to notice? Repeat at intervals, record the results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is possible for this to be done globally, all you need is some kind of web site that people can register on and some forms for them to fill out the answers to different experimental questions and to suggest new experiments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-09-08T19:07:36.343" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6046" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6048" CreationDate="2012-09-09T04:35:07.880" Score="6" ViewCount="287" Body="&lt;p&gt;What would be the significant risks of taking children between the ages of one and seven on a 4 night cruise to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cozumel&quot;&gt;Cozumel&lt;/a&gt; (an island off the coast of Mexico) if the children have &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; left the U.S.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3177" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-09-09T10:15:30.963" LastActivityDate="2012-09-16T13:11:56.900" Title="What are the significant risks of taking children on a Caribbean cruise?" Tags="|health|safety|food|travel|sickness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5996" CreationDate="2012-09-09T05:50:37.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you that my 2.5 year old has the same issue. Maybe it's also related to the bilingual issue as he's been raised speaking Hebrew and English (and since Hebrew also has some of the German sounds - maybe that's the effect).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, he keeps complaining that he (s)lipped and got a (s)cratch on his knee. If I try to get him to say scratch - he'll do it but the next time it'll just be another cratch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you have anything to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ethan&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3147" LastActivityDate="2012-09-09T05:50:37.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6046" CreationDate="2012-09-09T10:32:24.893" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please elaborate:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Are you going to spend 4 days&amp;amp;nights on a cruise ship, going to this island and back again, or are you going to stay on the island for 4 days? If you're staying on the island, would that be in a big all-inclusive hotel, or in an apartment where you'll do your own cooking etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what's a &quot;significant risk&quot; to you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you'll spend most of the time aboard the cruise ship&lt;/strong&gt; then I'd say it pretty much doesn't matter where in the world you're cruising; the risks would be essentially the same -- which is to say, negligible or identical to staying in a hotel or holiday resort.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Sea sickness can be ruled out because a cruise ship is so big that you'll hardly notice the waves unless the weather turns exceptionally bad. Extreme risks such as a marine accident is not &quot;significant&quot; in the sense that the odds are microscopic. What else can happen on a cruise ship that couldn't also happen in any hotel resort? Food reactions, playground injuries, theft of possessions, etc. - nothing very &quot;significant&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you'll spend most of the time in a resort on the island&lt;/strong&gt; then food reactions are the most likely. I don't know the Caribbeans but that's a common thing for Europeans traveling to Egypt and similar countries. Food reactions are best avoided by avoiding tap water and things that have been washed in tap water (like salads etc.). A risk could also be insect bites which might be more severe than bites from insects you're used to from your home country. Again: playground injuries, theft, child abduction etc. is not what I'd call a &quot;significant risk&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you'll be on your own on the island&lt;/strong&gt; I imagine that the chance of encountering a risk is higher, simply because you're more exposed to the local area: foods, tap water, insects, animals (dogs, geckos, snakes, whatever), local people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In any case,&lt;/strong&gt; whenever you travel to an unfamiliar country you should always check with your government's travel warnings (political unrest etc.) and health recommendations (vaccines etc.) to make sure you aren't walking into unnecessary risky situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-09-09T10:32:24.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6035" CreationDate="2012-09-09T10:43:54.387" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Excellent answers so far! I want to offer another idea: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has she had leaps in development (mental, motor, etc.) in the last couple of weeks? At her age, she is rapidly learning new things and discovering whole new topics in herself and her surroundings. That's a lot for a young mind to handle, and while she sleeps her brain tries to make sense of it all and sort it into mental bins. That is a lot of hard work for the brain, and this might upset her just enough that she wakes up without being able to give you any exact reason. She can't really say &lt;em&gt;my brain is too busy.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideas for &quot;cures:&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It might help to have a longer quiet period before going to sleep, especially if she doesn't sleep for long before she starts crying. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you're introducing many new things or activities, you might want to slow down a little so that she has a little bit less to mentally process at night.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Did her surroundings change? It is suddenly much darker outside than it used to be (seasonally)? See if a night light would help, or some white noise, or &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; light or &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; noise if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-09-09T10:43:54.387" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6050" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-10T03:12:48.413" Score="5" ViewCount="1228" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old stepson recently moved to El Paso, TX with me and my wife. He's only been in the U.S. for a little over a month. His primary language is Thai. I would love for him to start picking up English but my concern right now is that most of the kids in his Kindergarten class speak Spanish and little to no English. I was a bit disturbed when I heard him singing something in Spanish to the tune of &quot;Twinkle, twinkle little star...&quot; He has told me and my wife that that is what the teacher teaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I over reacting or is this an issue that I need to bring up to the teacher's attention? I have no qualms with the Spanish language or anybody who speaks Spanish, it's just that as a military personnel who moves every 2-3 years, my kid will need to learn to talk, preferably in English, and make friends quick and often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not a complaint about teaching Spanish at a young age, but as English is the most internationally known language, I want to ensure my son is developing fluency in it while his language is still developing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3180" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-09-13T12:13:41.223" LastActivityDate="2012-09-13T13:53:41.160" Title="Kindergarten Teacher teaching in Spanish, should I be concerned?" Tags="|teaching|bilingual|language|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2012-09-10T03:17:45.083" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of the issue is probably the TV. For a number of reasons the AAP &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/19/health/19babies.html?_r=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;doesn't recommend that a child under two watch television at all&lt;/a&gt;. You might be making it harder for real life interactions to seem paced correctly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try putting him next to you in bed, remove all other distractions, including his toys, so that the only thing in reach it you and either one book or one toy.  Rotate the object until you find something that holds his interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With reading and playing, your tone of voice is very important. Even when he can't understand the words, he can understand the tone. If you sound excited, he will be excited. If you sound bored, he will lose focus really quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1170" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T03:17:45.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6050" CreationDate="2012-09-10T07:31:45.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should discuss this directly with the kindergarten teacher. What is the primary language during the day? &lt;strong&gt;Is Spanish dominating, or is English?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain just as you did here that you appreciate Spanish but you believe that a U.S. kindergarten should function primarily in English. There's nothing wrong in using Spanish 15% of the time, in fact I think that would be awesome because learning more languages is &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; useful, especially when they're as globally important as those two. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But language choice and use must be a deliberate decision, not simply based on the (lack of) language skills of the staff. This might be something you need to address (or even escalate) but I'd start out with a friendly chat about language use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T07:31:45.517" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="205" CreationDate="2012-09-10T08:22:40.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.car-seat.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Car-seat.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are hundreds of thousand of Certified Child Passenger Safety Technicians on this forum and they will answer your questions and provide accurate information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3181" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-09-10T10:56:48.693" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T10:56:48.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6042" CreationDate="2012-09-10T09:18:21.470" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you're describing is what every parent does: expose your child to different stimuli and see how they react, and what they like and do not like. That's not really experimenting on your child. Experimenting on your child requires that you a) control for all factors, b) follow the experimental method, and c) change one factor to see what the response is. In your home you're never going to be able to control for all factors, you need a lab to do that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not in favor of viewing one's child as a subject (and I have a degree in Psychology), you want your relationship to be loving parent, not mad scientist or god forbid &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B._F._Skinner&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;BF Skinner&lt;/a&gt;! You're going to have ample opportunity to see how your child develops and what they like and don't like, and there's many web forums and local groups to share your experiences with. Try to enjoy the process as much as you can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T09:18:21.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6055" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6058" CreationDate="2012-09-10T14:17:54.537" Score="19" ViewCount="1181" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little boy is 2½ now, and has enjoyed being read to at bedtime since he was small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But lately he's started refusing to be read to at all. Instead he says &quot;No, I want to read it&quot; and takes the book. He generally turns a few pages, mumbles a little or tells me something he can see on the pictures, then gets a different book and does the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know reading to your child is a good way to help them develop their language, and I wonder how much benefit he's actually getting from sitting and looking at the books himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I'd like to encourage him to enjoy reading, so he can do it for real when he's old enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What advice can anyone give me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T05:34:03.880" Title="Should I encourage my 2½ year old to attempt to &quot;read&quot; his own stories?" Tags="|toddler|reading|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6050" CreationDate="2012-09-10T14:20:28.797" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main thing I would recommend here is that &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; talk English around him. I appreciate that he's probably at daycare for longer time than he spends with you, but parenting time is more 1-1, and therefore has more of an immersion effect than daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned that his primary language is Thai, which I assume is from your wife. (please correct me if I'm wrong). If she's more comfortable talking in Thai, then I'd suggest that you spend some time each day reading an English language book to your child and talking to him in English &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt;. Anne Fine, Enid Blyton, JK Rowling, C.S. Lewis, it doesn't matter, the point is to expose him to the language and encourage him to converse in that language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are &lt;em&gt;plenty&lt;/em&gt; of Questions on this site about multi-lingual children, and a solid core of multi-lingual parents who can provide you with more support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But while your requests can have an effect on the daycare, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are likely to have a significantly larger effect on &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T14:20:28.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6050" CreationDate="2012-09-10T14:24:57.667" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I say embrace it.&lt;/strong&gt;  The Western Hemisphere has a very large Spanish speaking population.  The worst thing that can happen is your son will speak 3 languages as an adult.  And that could benefit him in the long run.  As long as he is speaking and studying English at home he should be fine.  Don't worry.. Kids pick up language very easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3145" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T14:24:57.667" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6055" CreationDate="2012-09-10T14:29:43.840" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your little guy will be back for more stories, don't worry, he's just exercising his independence a bit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is 3 and adores books, although less so now than a year ago, and he likes to flip through books on his own and act like he's reading them. I encourage that wholeheartedly, even though he can't read he is interpreting the story himself, making his own story. He still asks me to read him books regularly, just less so. It's all part of him wanting independence, so a good thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about it, just don't fight it as he'll resent it and it could put him off. Get him alphabet books and start spelling things a bit. Teach him his ABCs. My mother taught me to read before the school did by having me read the ads on the #1 subway in NYC, so you don't need any special tools, just some material and a child's interest. Don't force it though, just let it happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T14:29:43.840" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-10T15:52:35.407" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may sound silly, it is not precisely for your baby but it will help you during those last months where your belly is getting really big. I bought my wife a very cheap plastic &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000VS8CTM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;hand reacher&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; and she used it a lot to pick up clothes or any stuff from the floor or from the washing machine/dryer (whenever I wasn't around, obviously). It saves you the pain of kneeling down or doing too much effort to reach things which could make your baby uncomfortable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Sii80.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Hand Reacher&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other gadget we found extremely useful was the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.itzbeen.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;itzbeen&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. It is a multi-purpose timer that costs around 17-20 dollars and helps you keep track of when was the last time you fed your baby, changed diapers, or fell asleep. It also lets you set alarms for each category and it is very easy to use, it also has a very bright built-in lamp which helps you find your way to your baby at night.&#xA;This thing is very small and ergonomic and it has a clip you can attach it to your pants or any clothes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/BmIMM.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Itzbeen&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know as parents we want to save as much as we can so you may find some app for your smartphone that does the same thing for much smaller price. We bought this one 'cause we don't have smart phones and our ipad is too big to carry it it around. So this pocket-size thing was the way to go. It is important to mention that my wife's and my own memory got very affected by sleep deprivation during the first weeks of our baby so you may need an aid there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I would avoid buying a bassinet. Even though there are some very nice ones their real use-span is just a few weeks.  Instead I would recommend buying a good and affordable multi-purpose pack-and-play like this &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B005UV0UDG&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Napper and Changer form Graco&lt;/a&gt;. We had one of those and put it right next to our bed and it was very useful to sleep and change the baby, you just push a button and turn the napper into a changer, then when they grow older you can use as a normal play yard.  So instead of paying $100+ in the bassinet + $100+ in the play yard + changer you only pay half and it is a great product to transition between baby sleeping in parent's room and sleeping in his/her own room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3176" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2013-12-27T13:58:37.563" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T13:58:37.563" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-09-10T15:52:35.407" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6060" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6061" CreationDate="2012-09-10T18:21:30.693" Score="10" ViewCount="671" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is just 4 months old. Being a software developer, I register two domains on her name, as soon as her name is finalized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I was looking for some really eye catching kid website template. To my surprise, I didn't find many. Again few of my friends and relatives suggested not to put her website online, at least not too early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I also not found many kids website/templates on net, now I'm forced to think again, if it is a good idea to create a kids website?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any other parents who created website for their kids? If yes, are there some kids website templates available anywhere. Google seems not helping me a lot in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3183" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-12-07T17:12:06.337" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T17:12:06.337" Title="Kids Website, is it a good idea?" Tags="|toddler|infant|safety|internet|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6060" CreationDate="2012-09-10T19:37:14.390" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;For &lt;em&gt;website templates&lt;/em&gt; I'd like to suggest asking on the excellent &lt;a href=&quot;http://wordpress.stackexchange.com&quot;&gt;Wordpress SE&lt;/a&gt; site. But that's not really your point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A decade ago it seemed common to create photo websites about their offspring. Back then, a website for Junior looked like a cool and sweet thing to do. Several of my fellow geeks did this. None of their sites are still online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With all of today's bad press about misuse of material on the Internet (also or particularly related to small children), such websites seems to have disappeared completely. The Internet is a scary place, and protecting the child's privacy has become increasingly important. These days people either are completely unaware of any privacy issues, or they only post material that is either about only their own person, or sufficiently anonymized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, &lt;strong&gt;a public website about a child is probably not a good idea.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, you could have a password-protected website, or use social networks that have good ways of limiting the material to only be available to desired people, like &lt;a href=&quot;http://plus.google.com&quot;&gt;Google+&lt;/a&gt;. This becomes a question about technology though, for which &lt;a href=&quot;http://superuser.com&quot;&gt;Superuser.com&lt;/a&gt; is much better suited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T19:37:14.390" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2012-09-10T21:11:23.680" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a father myself and if I passed away, I would in no way feel disrespected if my grandchildren started calling their step grandfather &quot;Granpa Joe&quot;, especially if he is &quot;absolutely wonderful&quot; with them.  On the contrary, I would be happy that they had such a positive figure in their life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I don't think you should force the children to call him that.  If they choose to, let them.  If they don't, don't force it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the matter of respecting your father, maybe having a tradition where you do something he loved around his favorite holiday every year to remember him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T21:11:23.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6060" CreationDate="2012-09-10T22:02:25.323" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing inherently dangerous about it.  Unless you live on some sort of secluded compound, strangers will probably figure out what she looks like when you go out in public.  Just use common sense about what you reveal.  &quot;She loves to swing in our back yard at 123 Main Street while I take a nap every day&quot; is probably not advisable.  Yes, that's an absurd example, but I &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; seen people split personal information like that into 3 or 4 posts that they would never combine into one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, the reason these kinds of websites aren't that popular anymore is that it's impossible to get anyone to read them.  At the very least you should be linking your posts from Facebook.  Eventually things happen like wanting to share something with only one side of the family, and most people just slip to using Facebook full time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-10T22:02:25.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6064" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-10T22:20:54.060" Score="15" ViewCount="117734" Body="&lt;p&gt;In his now 26 months of life, he has probably slept all the way through the night 15, maybe 20 times.  They seemed to be an irregularity, never happened two nights in a row.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a easy as pie to put to bed.  We eat dinner, then brush teeth, read some books, and then to bed.  He almost always goes straight to sleep.  Or, if not, talks to himself for a bit and then goes to sleep.  Either way, parent intervention at this point is very unusual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At his best, he was waking up maybe once a night.  It usually followed a pattern.  Say, 12:30 am every night.  Then after 3 weeks his patterns might change, maybe wakes up at 2:30 every night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately, it's 3 times a night.  It happens 1:30-2 hours, almost like at the end of a sleep cycle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will sometimes get himself back to sleep.  I feel like I've gotten a pretty good feel for when this is going to happen, and when it won't.  Unfortunately, this is very much the exception, and not the rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we go into his bedroom, it is very minimal interaction.  I usually won't even talk to him.   I re-position him in his crib, give him his pacifier back (it is usually lost at this point), and then re-cover him with a blanket.  I can be in there for maybe 5 seconds, and that's all it takes, and he's good.  Until 2 hours later when he wakes back up again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It almost seems like he is waking up at the end of every sleep cycle.  And, instead of sleeping through that, or rolling over and going back to sleep, he starts crying/fussing, and won't  stop until the 5 secs I spend to do the blanket/pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 2 years, we are at our wits end.  I just don't know what to do.  Some things we have tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No blanket (we live in a hot/humid area, air conditioner is set to 74 at night)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With blanket (a super-soft fleece, or sometimes a very-light single-layer sheet type blanket (think those thin swaddling blankets).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he was younger, tried leaving a sippy cup of water (never once used it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With stuffed animals, with none&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With pacifier.  This has always been a must for him.  Per the suggestion of his pediatrician at his 1 year (or was it 15 month?) checkup, he said just put some extras in his crib. If he loses it, he'll have a better chance of finding one on his own.  This completely backfired, as he now expects to have one in his mouth and at least one in his hands.  I'm not sure if this is related to his sleeping problem or not, as he had a problem even before this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With a slightly cooler AC setting.  Though, in the winter we keep the house at 67 or so, and the problem persisted over last winter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I've tried just poking my head in the door and telling him to go back to sleep, instead of doing the blanket/pacifier routine.  The idea being to break him of the need of that help from us.  This usually doesn't work.  Sometimes he'll calm down for 15 mins, then just start fussing again.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We run a small box-fan in the room.  It is slightly pointed at him.  It's been a while since we've tried without.  maybe I'll try that again tonight.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I've tried letting him cry it out a bit.  He just works himself into a state that takes him even longer to get to sleep once we are trying to help.  Once or twice even vomited he was so worked up (he seems to be a very... mucousy cryer.  Ends up coughing on it, then vomitting)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just don't know what to do.  It's important for everyone involved to get a good night sleep.  This recent bought of waking 3 times a night is incredibly difficult to deal with.  Any suggestions would be welcome.  Help us, please!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3185" LastEditorUserId="3185" LastEditDate="2012-09-11T14:29:45.737" LastActivityDate="2014-11-14T19:03:09.303" Title="2 year old still does not (and has never) slept through the night" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5996" CreationDate="2012-09-11T03:44:44.403" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We tend to think of letter sounds as distinct, but linguists break them down into their constituent mouth/tongue/throat/lip movements.  So 'aah' is just a simple throat vocalization, 'Da' is the same but with the motion of opening the mouth with the tongue.  A number of sounds are like this that require little in the way of mouth muscle movement and for that reason are ones that most children exhibit early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other sounds require more complex movements or coordinated actions, and because of that can be harder for the child to master.  l, s, r, v, z, ch, sh, th (mentioned in William Grobman's answer) are all good examples.  Think about how your mouth moves when making these sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 3-year old has similar pronunciation difficulties with letters that require tongue movements, and he drops or fudges letter sounds like t, s, z, sh.  (I myself had s troubles well into 1st grade.)  My 1-year old daughter on the other hand seems to do quite well with tongue-based sounds but doesn't say many 'lip' sounds like m and p.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I figure each child kind of follows their own path in mastering the different mouth movements.  Some they pick up automatically on their own, others they may need extra coaching on.  I go about this by playing tongue mimicking games with my son (as teachers did with me), to help him learn the muscle movements that the more complex letter sounds depend on.  But I figure he's still got a couple years before he needs to get them all down so don't worry about it too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-09-11T03:44:44.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6055" CreationDate="2012-09-11T03:51:14.600" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the value being gained is the quiet one-on-one time.  Whether you're reading him books, or he's reading to you, or you're just chatting probably doesn't matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my 3-year old son is particularly difficult to get down sometimes I'll just snuggle in bed with him and tell him what I know about random things.  Why people have pets.  What do firemen do.  Where did people come from.  Where does wood/cloth/metal/etc. come from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-09-11T03:51:14.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6067" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-11T05:32:05.607" Score="3" ViewCount="361" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4646/what-do-we-do-when-timeouts-are-not-effective&quot;&gt;What do we do when timeouts are not effective?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My littler girl just turned 2 but is as smart as a whip! I am having trouble with the timeout method.  I am being consistent and doing the steps just like on the supernanny website.  Unfortunately, when I get down to her eye level she is just ready to say sorry and a hug and ready to run! It is almost robotic at this point.  Also, I tell her over and over about nice touches! She knows the difference but she is consistently in time out for the same things over and over all day long! How can I get through to her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3187" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-09-14T18:51:52.933" Title="What do I do when the timeout method isn't working?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2012-09-17T12:19:45.513" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6064" CreationDate="2012-09-11T09:34:50.167" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children who wake up often in the night do so because they get attention. He knows that no matter what, you'll come. Also, children his age should not be using pacifiers anymore. So, lose the pacifier, and stop going into his room every time he wakes up. He will cry and cry, and may throw up a few times (obviously you'll have to go in if he barfs), but he will learn to settle himself. A couple of comfort toys and/or a favorite blanket will help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's more a matter of you than him to be honest. It will be difficult for you as you will want to intervene, and will make for a few unpleasant nights, however it's the only way you're going to get him sleeping through the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-11T09:34:50.167" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6064" CreationDate="2012-09-11T12:41:20.450" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We gave our son a pacifier when he was about 7mo, thinking it would help him sleep [etc], but it actually meant that he would wake up when it fell out of his mouth. So, it caused more problems than it solved. We weaned him off the pacifier quickly, replacing it with a soft toy-type thing (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cuski.com/&quot;&gt;http://www.cuski.com/&lt;/a&gt;)  which he chews instead. He still sleeps with it now, at 2.3 years, and was invaluable when he was teething. Basically we regret ever offering him the pacifier!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing we did was to always go through when he called (so he always knew we would be there if he was scared etc.) but as you've done, keep interaction to a minimum. It would always be me (Dad) as well, so always the same person, same soothing routine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I haven't said anything you haven't thought of - the only other suggestion I've got is checking the room's humidity. We found our son slept better when the room had a decent level of humidity, too low and he'd wake up coughing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope things turn around for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3188" LastActivityDate="2012-09-11T12:41:20.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6064" CreationDate="2012-09-11T13:13:34.773" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have my deepest sympathies. I have a few suggestions that might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make a bedtime book?&lt;/strong&gt; My friend's first son had this same sort of trouble.  He didn't sleep through the night until he was about two and a half. Here is what they did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They got a few good bedtime books, and talked about how confident they were that he would sleep all night without needing Mommy and Daddy, just like the characters in the books do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then they made him his own bedtime book that had pictures of him in it.  The story described his bedtime routine, from brushing his teeth to getting his jammies on, to falling asleep and feeling so cozy and sleeping all night.  It ended with waking up in the morning and being cheerfully greeted by his parents who were so happy to see him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few days with his new book, and he was sleeping all night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Change his bedtime?&lt;/strong&gt; It may be that he is going to bed just a little too early or a little too late.  We had trouble with my eldest (who had been sleeping well, but then started waking up at night) when he was three or so, but putting him to bed a little later fixed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Potty problem?&lt;/strong&gt;  Our little one (who is 26 months old too) has recently started waking up at night because he has become more aware of having a wet diaper.  He is determined to get out of diapers so he can wear underpants like his brother, so he finds it particularly upsetting to wake up and be wet.  We cut back on his fluid intake in the afternoon and we put him on the toilet before bed and this seems to be helping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also highly recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0071381392&quot;&gt;The No-Cry Sleep Solution&lt;/a&gt;, particularly if you find the cry-it-out method upsetting. It helped us a lot. Good luck. I hope you find a solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-09-11T13:13:34.773" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6055" CreationDate="2012-09-11T13:41:13.500" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't worry too much. He is demonstrating how much he likes to read by wanting to do it himself.  You can help him by giving him some basic tools to start working it out on his own.  This will make his time &quot;reading&quot; more productive as he learns to recognize the important parts of text.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Show him where the words are on the page.&lt;/strong&gt;  Point to the words as you read them.  It is not obvious to small children that words are groups of letters with spaces in between, so pointing to individual words and counting how many words are on a page are both useful techniques for helping children learn to decipher text.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Point out the initial letters of important words and connect them to the initial sounds.&lt;/strong&gt;  &quot;This word is &lt;em&gt;cat&lt;/em&gt;.  What's the first letter of this word? What sound does it make? That's the first sound we hear in the word &lt;em&gt;cat&lt;/em&gt;.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have him pick out important words based on the initial sounds.&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;Let's listen to &lt;em&gt;fox&lt;/em&gt;. What's the first sound you hear? What letter makes that sound? Can you find a word on this page that starts with that letter?&quot; (make them easy at first, i.e., the only word that starts with F on the page)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have him use visual cues to identify words.&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;Let's see if we can figure out this word.  It starts with the letter B.  What animal do you see in the picture that starts with the letter B? A bird? Let's think. What sound does B make? Does &lt;em&gt;bird&lt;/em&gt; start with that sound?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I taught my son these basics when he was two (I am involved in early childhood literacy programs at work, so I took the techniques home with me). By the time he turned three, he could recognize or figure out a lot of nouns.  We added verbs later, using similar visual cues (&quot;What is the bird doing in this picture?&quot;) combined with initial sounds (&quot;Does &lt;em&gt;flying&lt;/em&gt; start with F?&quot;)  He's four now and reads by himself when he wakes up in the morning.  He often greets me with what he's figured out on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-09-11T13:41:13.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6060" CreationDate="2012-09-11T19:03:47.473" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd advise against this. We created a blog soon after telling our friends and family that we were expecting. For the months during pregnancy, it proved to be popular with them, as they could keep up to date with progress etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the first year or so after baby was born, we posted pictures as she grew up. However, I came across one posted on another site (thanks to Google alerts) without our written permission. Maybe the copyright notice wasn't obvious enough - but the offending site hasn't responded to several emails asking politely for them to remove our pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the last few years, social networks have become the place to discuss your baby and share pictures/videos of them developing, rather than a public website. Just ensure your privacy settings are private enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3190" LastActivityDate="2012-09-11T19:03:47.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6064" CreationDate="2012-09-11T19:45:51.113" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;People don't learn how to do things without practice.  Learning to go back to sleep by yourself is no different.  That means first you must decide if it's more important for him to never have to struggle, or more important for him to learn this skill.  The unfortunate fact of parenting is that it's impossible to do both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other people have mentioned the pacifier is probably doing more harm than good.  One way I have found helpful is to let them use the pacifier while you are rocking them to sleep, but to gently pull it out before you put them into bed.  That way they don't get freaked out when it falls out suddenly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing is to &lt;strong&gt;teach&lt;/strong&gt; a strategy for putting himself back to sleep, &lt;strong&gt;practice&lt;/strong&gt; the strategy, and &lt;strong&gt;incentivize&lt;/strong&gt; the strategy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teaching&lt;/strong&gt; should be annoyingly specific.  Parents often skip a step they think is obvious.  It's not obvious to a two year-old.  Even to my five year-old I have to give instructions like, &quot;Stop crying.  Lie down.  Pull up the covers.  Close your eyes.  Go to sleep.&quot;  If I skip a step he doesn't do it.  And yes, when kids are only crying for attention they are usually perfectly capable of stopping when asked.  For some reason it never occurs to a lot of parents to ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Practicing&lt;/strong&gt; should be very consistent.  Use the same words every time.  Maybe make it into a song.  Don't skip the strategy &quot;just this once&quot; because you're tired.  The more consistent you are, the faster the learning will be.  Have rehearsals at bed time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Incentivizing&lt;/strong&gt; means making him &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to follow the strategy.  If it's more desirable to do it the old way, that's what he will do.  The easiest and most immediate incentive is probably your own presence.  Call through the door for him to do the first step so you can come in.  After he's gotten that down, make it the first two steps, etc.  After he has all the steps down with you on the other side of the door, wait longer and longer to go to his door.  The gradual transition not only makes it easier on him, it also makes it easier on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-11T19:45:51.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6074" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-12T03:12:53.663" Score="8" ViewCount="33436" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a car seat system which comprises a base and a car seat. My wife, my mother-in-law and me share two car seat bases. So sometimes we might have to move the base between cars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One car has latch points so that is basically the easiest to install.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The in-law's car has just a lap belt in the middle back seat and in my opinion is the next easiest to install.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our third car has shoulder/lap belts in the back and is the hardest to install correctly in my opinion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can install the base tightly and securely for the first two cars. However, I can never really get it super tight with the shoulder/lap belt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is...generally how tight should the car seat base be? In the installation videos, the person demonstrating just hand tightens it. However when I brought it to my local Police Dept when I installed the base for the first time, they basically used their whole body to tighten it. The officer was pulling on the belt with his hands and using his foot (and knee at times) to push base snuggly against the car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my mind, the tighter the better so that in case of a crash, the infant car seat has less room to move around. I can't seem to find any definitive answer online. You can't measure the tightness of the straps that are cinching the car seat base against the car. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that this is probably a question for the manufacturer, but I thought that I get people's educated opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2016-12-13T07:58:05.407" Title="Installing car seat base...how tight is good enough?" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6074" CreationDate="2012-09-12T09:19:10.897" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the instructions I read, you should use your body weight to buckle it in, and also twist the female part beforehand to shorten it if it's not tight enough.&#xA;Of course the belt has to be locked, either by a mechanism in the belt, or with a locking clip. &#xA;That said though, I could never get it to be as tight as with the middle lap belt either, so that's where we put it...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3193" LastActivityDate="2012-09-12T09:19:10.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5996" CreationDate="2012-09-12T09:21:52.360" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to other good answers here, I can also add that the child will more easily learn sounds that are mainly formed by the visible part of the mouth. I have often seen my 2-year old studying my mouth when I speak, as if he's trying to figure out how I'm making the different sounds. Then afterwards, he is repeating some words to himself after I left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastActivityDate="2012-09-12T09:21:52.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6042" CreationDate="2012-09-12T09:38:49.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will get very far by just &lt;strong&gt;observing&lt;/strong&gt;. Children are very curious creatures, and they are doing a lot of experimenting on their own, without you trying to initialize specific experiments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main challenge is really to make the time to observe, and be able to recognize what actually happens in their different small experiments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important is to have a notebook and a pen available at all times, so you can pick it up and make notes each time you notice something new. Make a note of &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, and reflections on &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; he does it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you have time, you should sit down and collect the notes in a more systematic way, where you perhaps write a diary-like thing in a private blog or word-document or something where you go more in depth on each &quot;experiment&quot;. This should be done on a regular base so you don't forget too much about each incident (although the notes will help you remember).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastActivityDate="2012-09-12T09:38:49.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6074" CreationDate="2012-09-12T12:38:16.980" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The thing a lot of people don't know about shoulder belts is if you pull them all the way out as far as they will go, the latching system will stay engaged and will only tighten, not loosen, until it is all the way retracted again.  This mode was designed specifically for car seats and children in booster seats.  Children's small size makes it take longer for the automatic latch to engage in a crash.  That leaves enough slack in the belt to cause concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The proper way to install a car seat is to put all your weight on it, tighten the lap part as tight as you can, then pull the shoulder belt all the way out and let it ratchet down until it's snug.  Most owner's manuals will tell you this, and may have other instructions specific to your model.  Read it.  I've also heard the same advice from hospitals, police demonstrations, and our foster parenting class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-12T12:38:16.980" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6074" CreationDate="2012-09-12T12:42:34.573" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good rule of thumb is that if you pull on the car seat, if it moves more than 1 inch from front to back, or side to side, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.britaxusa.com/learning-center/car-seats-101/car-seat-installation-advice&quot;&gt;it is not tight enough&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not having the seat installed properly is a very common problem, that frequently goes unnoticed until there is an accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many locations in the US, and possibly other countries, that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.seatcheck.org/index.html&quot;&gt;offer free car seat installation inspections&lt;/a&gt;.  It is well worth it to take your seat to one if possible at least once, to make sure you are properly securing the seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-09-12T12:42:34.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6074" CreationDate="2012-09-12T13:24:44.983" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am pretty sure that somewhere in the instructions for one of our car seats it says that when the car seat is installed properly there should be no more than 1/2 inch of side-to-side movement when you push/pull on the car seat firmly.  If there is anyone in the house who is going to install a car seat, it's me so anytime we have to remove a car seat (usually for cleaning) I'm the one who re-installs it.  I use my whole body to install them correctly.  I put my knee in the seat/base to push it down into the car with the full weight of my body, and tighten the belt by pulling with both hands.  Our car seats don't move when we pull/push on them.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We used to install an infant base with the lap/shoulder strap combo, and Karl Bielefeldt is right, if you pull the shoulder strap out all the way it should catch.  You will then have to practically push the seatbelt back into the slot in order to tighten it enough but it can be done. &#xA;Installing infant bases is the worst because you also have to make sure that it is installed at the right angle as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-09-12T13:24:44.983" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6074" CreationDate="2012-09-12T19:12:58.283" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps American cars are different, but my experiences with European cars and European car-seats is quite simple. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I put the car-seat in place, then pull the strap over and push it into the buckle. Then I pull hard on the upper part of the belt (just using both hands) and clip that into the top of the car-seat (depends on car-seat model). This is enough to prevent the seat from moving more than ½ inch in any direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course if the car has &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isofix&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ISOFIX&lt;/a&gt;/LATCH mounts then it's easiest and best - as you say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-09-12T19:12:58.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6084" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-13T05:23:10.580" Score="28" ViewCount="203703" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year old daughter is very defiant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It started getting bad about 6 months ago. She doesn't do what she is told, and any time she hears the word &quot;no&quot; she throws terrible, dramatic fits, screaming ridiculously loud, and in some cases hitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She refuses to make eye contact when I warn her to stop doing something even when I am down at her eye level and it takes multiple orders to finally get her to look at me. She constantly tells me no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like I constantly tell &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; no and that she feels this gives her the right to tell her father and I no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried time outs which are not effective at all; she only throws a fit the whole time, never seeming to run out of wind. Spankings are only effective until the shock of the action itself wears off and then she returns to the same behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I recently took away ALL of her toys/ possessions being she is a pretty materialistic child (she loves getting toys and always wants something new). We told her that if she was good and listened and stopped telling us no and throwing fits, that after three days we would let her choose three boxes of toys to bring back in her room. This worked but as soon as she got those three boxes unpacked, we packed them back up because she went right back to the no's and fit-throwing within a few hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am mainly the one disciplining her and I feel she is definitely the most defiant with me. I believe in explaining to her why things are not OK and why I tell her no, but I really don't feel it helps and I never feel as if she listens to what I tell her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at my wits' end and feel like a failure of a mother. She is my first and only child, and the only grandchild on both sides of our family. She is an angel at school but home is completely different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need help figuring this out but nobody I talk to really has any advice for me. I am at the point where I am wondering if she or I need counseling because I feel out of options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3199" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-14T17:38:44.753" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T17:38:44.753" Title="My 5 year- old daughter is constantly defiant!" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2012-09-13T08:00:15.933" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest reading through some of the top voted questions under:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/discipline?sort=votes&amp;amp;pagesize=15&quot;&gt;Discipline&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;and&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/behavior?sort=votes&amp;amp;pagesize=15&quot;&gt;Behavior&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1925/how-can-we-discipline-a-strong-willed-misbehaving-5-year-old&quot;&gt;The answers to this question seem particularly relevant to your needs&lt;/a&gt; (same age, same problem).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading between the lines, it sounds like &lt;strong&gt;you're&lt;/strong&gt; exhausted and may be struggling to get the support you need. Counselling may help, starting with phone counselling, which is available in both the UK and North America.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most worrying line in there is: &quot;[I] feel like a failure of a mother&quot;. &lt;strong&gt;You are not.&lt;/strong&gt; Parenting is hard work, there are no real breaks, and everything is constantly changing. Behavior and discipline are among &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/tags&quot;&gt;our most tagged questions&lt;/a&gt;. Everyone struggles with this at some point, and reaching out for support is absolutely the best thing you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-09-13T08:00:15.933" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2012-09-13T12:15:51.977" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Start with yourself&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're at your wit's end. You need to fix that as best you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You're not a failure. You may have lost some battles, but you're haven't lost the war.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remind yourself that this phase won't last forever, and that you will get through it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look after yourself. Make sure you're sleeping, eating etc. properly and that you have space to unwind. Take vitamins.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get support where you can. From friends, relatives, teachers, professionals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hang in there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Work with your husband&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your husband time and attention. If you don't look after your relationship then you'll have a harder time working together to help your child. Also, this will model the kind of behaviour you expect from your daughter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Recognise your husband's limitations, and respect that his approach may not always be the same as yours.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Agree on a strategy. That doesn't mean telling him what to do, but rather that you work out a solution together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Deal with your child&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reward each and every small improvement in your daughter's behaviour. Praise every little thing she does right. Constantly say good things about her. Tell her how much you love, that she's a good girl (who sometimes forgets). Give her lots of cuddles and positive attention. (Sticker charts work for my son - he knows that when he's collected enough he gets a prize).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As far as possible, ignore bad behaviour. Avoid showing her that she's won (even if - for now - she has).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As best you can, have a daily schedule of activities and stick to it. Make sure your daughter has enough sleep, food, drink and exercise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be consistent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she's calm, explain, in simple language, the consequences of bad behaviour. Focus on the non-social consequences: the fact that she won't have time to play, that you'll be too tired to help her etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer alternatives. Instead of &quot;Brush your teeth!&quot;, say, &quot;Would you like to use the pink toothbrush or the red one today?&quot;. Not just, &quot;No, you can't have sweets&quot;, but &quot;You can have fruit instead?&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Admit to your daughter when you're wrong or when you've over reacted.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been asked in comments for more information and examples of how steps 2, 6 and 7 might actually work in practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step 6&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving your child options over &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; they do a task is different from giving your child the option not to do the task. It gives appropriate choices to your child rather than inappropriate ones. Offering fruit instead is a real example that we still use with my son, and it still works just as well as it always has - which is to say that it doesn't always work, but works most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step 2&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ignoring inappropriate behaviour is effective because children often exhibit a particular behaviour because they're trying to provoke a reaction, and when they don't get that reaction they often change their behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, this approach can be difficult, expecially because there are certain behaviours that you simply &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; ignore. But you can choose to overlook angry words, sulking, staming feet, etc. until the emotion has drained out of the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many years ago I sat in on a session with a clinical psychologist who used this technique to great effect with the &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; undisciplined 6-year-old with whom he was working. Moreover, I worked in nursery schools for some years, and saw the effectiveness of this technique many time. Oh, and it works with my son, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step 7&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your long-term aim is not to control your child, but to teach them to take responsibility and act appropriately. Admitting you're wrong isn't giving control away. Rather, it is accepting responsibility for your own behaviour, and by doing so you are choosing to take control; control of yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It shows respect for the child that you have wronged, which is important for their emotional well-being.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children learn by example, and saying sorry is a good example of behaviour we want to see from the children in our care.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Part of being consistent is demonstrating that the same rules apply to everyone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ultimately, children need to understand that adult behaviour isn't perfect, but that is no excuse for reacting badly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="270" LastEditorUserId="270" LastEditDate="2015-08-14T12:59:51.217" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T12:59:51.217" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6050" CreationDate="2012-09-13T13:53:41.160" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect that your son is probably in an ESL (English as a Second Language) kindergarten class.  In most areas of the country this would mean your child would be placed in a class with kids who speak LOTS of different languages (for reference, in the previous school district I taught in we had large populations who spoke Spanish, Russian (or variations of Russian), Korean, and some Chinese).  Since your son's primary language since birth was Thai, it probably made sense to place him in the ESL kindergarten class.  Since you're in El Paso, TX, this obviously means that the vast majority of his classmates learned Spanish as a first language.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Logically, the teacher is communicating with the largest portion of her class in their primary language which probably comes in handy when she's trying to deliver explicit instructions.  If the class is an ESL class, she should also be incorporating large amounts of English into the school day as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the school year is still fairly new, it may be that she's building up to the English.  This week they sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in Spanish, next week they may learn it in English.  Your son may be picking up Spanish because his classmates are speaking it regularly, but it makes sense that his teacher is using Spanish in class as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would certainly speak to the teacher just so you know that she's aware that your son's primary language is not Spanish, it's Thai.  She may not have all your son's information yet and she may be completely unaware that he's her lone non-Spanish speaker (with the size of US public schools these days, it can take several weeks before a teacher receives all their files about their students).  It will also allow you to know if he seems to have difficulty understanding or communicating with her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I wouldn't be overly concerned about him picking up Spanish &lt;strong&gt;as long as he is also progressing in English&lt;/strong&gt;.  Especially if you believe that you will be remaining in the US.  Being multi-lingual isn't going to hurt him any, and I've seen teenagers newly immigrated from Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan able to communicate in English fluently within a year--with no help from home.  Reinforce English at home and expose him to English outside of school as much as you can (one Russian student I knew learned English by listening to rap albums--granted some of the first words he learned were curse words, but he was 16 years old...not five).  Find a show he enjoys on Disney Junior, buy the cd, and play it in the car (Jake and the Neverland Pirates comes to mind--it's certainly a hit in my house).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is certainly imperative that your step-son develop his English speaking skills.  Eventually (like, next school year), he's going to start learning about English mechanics and grammar and spelling, and this will be extremely difficult for him if he is still struggling with English in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-09-13T13:53:41.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6055" CreationDate="2012-09-13T16:32:53.743" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a great step in learning to read - it really shows that you have been reading with him. Although the next step is for your child to begin reading to himself, don't underestimate the power of reading to your child. It is about more than just bonding with your child, which can be achieved in many ways. It is great to encourage this independence in your child and ask him to tell you the story but do not give up reading to him as well. There really is never a time that you should stop reading to your children. There are many studies that show the benefits of reading to your children - all of these studies show that the more you read with your children, the stronger readers they are. It is important to follow his lead at this point and interact with him with the books. One way would be to &quot;read&quot; together - read the words on the page to him and then ask him what he sees on the page so he can tell the story he sees as well as hearing the words. At this stage, also, make sure you are pointing to the words you are reading as you read them to help him begin to recognize where your words are coming from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2012-09-13T16:32:53.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2012-09-13T17:14:07.187" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nearly all kids go through a stage like that, it just lasts longer for some than for others.  Don't count yourself as a failure yet.  Parenting is always a work in progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot win an argument of wills with your daughter.  She has nothing else to do, and the attention from the argument itself is a big part of what she wants.  The only way to win is not to play.  Resist the urge to give her attention when she is behaving badly.  Your husband not giving her as much negative attention is probably why she is not as defiant toward him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want her to throw a tantrum during a time out, tell her the time out doesn't start until she stops the tantrum.  Go into another room so she doesn't have an audience.  Make it obvious you are paying attention to something else now.  If she's still not calming down, go in there every 5 minutes or so to remind her of the rule, and maybe add disincentives like a favorite toy getting taken away.  If she gets out, quietly put her back in and reset the timer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't just tell her what not to do, tell her what to do &lt;em&gt;instead&lt;/em&gt;.  Make it consistent.  Instead of telling her not to say no, tell her to say, &quot;Okay, Mommy.&quot;  Don't tell her over and over.  Stand there quietly and don't make eye contact until she says it, then smile and thank her when she does.  If you don't engage, the fun is lost and she will give in, even though the first several times it might take quite a while.  You have to show her she can't bait you into capitulating anymore.  Praise and reward her when she uses those words without being prompted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-13T17:14:07.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2012-09-14T12:51:35.727" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you are approaching this the wrong way. You seem to want to &lt;strong&gt;win&lt;/strong&gt;, so that she will &lt;strong&gt;obey&lt;/strong&gt;, but it's not about that. Think of it this way, how would you feel if someone was telling you what to do and how to do it every second of the day? You want her to do what you want, when you want it, and how you want it but it doesn't work that way unfortunately. She's not a robot, she wants and needs some freedom and she will fight to get it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to back off, and try and give guidance instead of orders when possible. Say what needs to be done, and then give her the time to do it. Offer choices, like &quot;do you want to clean up your toys before lunch, or after lunch&quot;. She's going to pick up her toys, but she gets to choose when, and it makes a big difference. It's not always possible, there are times when she will need to do as you say when you say it, but if you're giving her choices and freedom you're more likely to get cooperation when you really need it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pick your battles, not every one needs to be fought. If you stop fighting her she'll stop fighting you. Don't think of backing off as backing down or losing face, it's not a loss of any kind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-14T12:51:35.727" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2012-09-14T14:29:13.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you discussed her behavior with her pediatrician? I ask because the level of resistance as you describe it seems unusual for a five year old. One might wonder if there may be an underlying physiological cause, such as a parasite, perhaps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it would be helpful to temporarily lower your standards, if you are a perfectionist, to make tasks more achievable for a five year old. In addition to a task being performed, does the task have to be performed perfectly? (I have no idea, just throwing this out there for consideration.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned spankings. While there are some situations that merit spanking (such as when the safety of the child or another child or pet is of concern), I think that you have used spankings shows that this situation has gone quite far. I think spankings tend to result from parental frustration rather than as an appropriate response. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may also be helpful to study up on &quot;clicker training&quot; for pets, just as an exercise in refreshing your understanding of how animals (including little humans) learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3204" LastEditorUserId="3204" LastEditDate="2012-09-14T14:39:28.117" LastActivityDate="2012-09-14T14:39:28.117" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3855" CreationDate="2012-09-14T15:44:55.070" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recommend you get a copy of &lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/0553381466&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Happiest Baby on the Block.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short answer is no, white noise at that age will not damage your baby's hearing, it is in fact quieter than what they were used to while in the womb and VERY similar to what has been used to hearing 24/7 for the last several months.  Which is why it works so well at soothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congratulations, you have stumbled upon a VERY successful method of soothing your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2746" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-09-14T15:44:55.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6067" CreationDate="2012-09-14T18:51:52.933" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 2, she probably doesn't have a totally clear grasp on logical consequences yet, so to some degree time will help the most. You may also find it more effective in the meantime to pay close attention to any possible triggers that happen before or cause the undesirable behavior and try to cut off the behavior at the pass before it happens. One way is to redirect the behavior into something more appropriate. Eg: if you want something to hit, lets get out your drum instead of hitting mommy. And also, sometimes giving toys timeouts instead of giving her timeouts is more effective for some kids. You might also wish to post a follow up question(s) about how to rid your daughter of a specific bad behavior, if there is one you are seeing over and over, because people may have specific ideas that you hadn't thought of about what good logical consequences might help that particular behavior. You're probably going to do something different for hitting than you would refusing dinner, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-09-14T18:51:52.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5336" CreationDate="2012-09-14T22:22:23.497" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was very computer and TV heavy (more computer than TV) from about age 7 until, well, I met my wife pretty much. (And even at that, we met on an online game!!) Now that I have daughters of my own, I am torn between how much talk there is that spending that much time engaged with computers is bad for you, and the fact that while I'm a bit nerdy, I'm a mostly normal human being. So from my personal experience the quantity of computer engagement didn't appear to be unhealthy in and of itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were in your shoes, I would try to identify exactly what is unhealthy about his computer engagement. Perhaps he needs to find an online community with people he can relate to. I know things have changed a lot since we were in school, but I doubt the fact that &quot;kids that spend most of their time on the computer don't have very many friends at school&quot; has changed much. Having friends online got me through some very difficult times at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also made very efficient use of my time while I was online. While in high school, I organized a 'company' of people to work for me. I had suppliers and customers, delivery folks, and a vast supply of workers to do grunt work for me. Eventually this operation had over 2,000 people working for me. In a job interview (the one I have now) I was asked if I had leadership experience. I detailed my operation to them, and in all honesty they were thoroughly impressed. Partly because I was so young when I did it, and partly because it was on an online game, which seemed more difficult (since incentivizing workers is much harder without a real payment).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I recommend trying to integrate yourself (just a little) into what he does online. Learn it. Learn it very well. Then find a way to get him to engage himself in what he does that will have positive benefits. Find something that will give him a sense of responsibility and accomplishment, and opportunities to grow. In all honesty, these are the same sorts of things we should be looking for no matter what our kids are engaged in! How can they grow as a result of it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he was 'addicted' to basketball, nobody would think it's weird at all that he spent all day at school thinking up new plays and tricks, and after school the whole time shooting hoops and doing drills. Luckily for the basketball addict, there are pre-defined avenues where he can engage those skills in ways that give him responsibility (teams), accomplishments (game victories), and opportunities to grow (defeat, conflict resolution, personal endurance). There aren't so many pre-defined avenues for the folks that like to slay dragons, but that doesn't mean that you can extract the same positive qualities from them if the setup is right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for the basketball addict, where do those avenues really come from? Usually, the coach. It sounds like your brother just needs a coach for whatever games he's playing on the computer. I had a coach for the game I was playing. There were 3 very wonderful folks (all of whom were adults) that played the game with me. I never met any of them in person, but they had a big impact on me. They encouraged me to stick with it, and helped me out a bit when I needed it. There are a lot of teams on online games with very well defined structures, many of whom are willing to mentor those willing to learn, both in how to play the game and some life lessons as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the bottom line is: &lt;em&gt;don't restrict his usage; use it to teach him positive attributes!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2012-09-14T22:22:23.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6096" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-14T23:33:39.970" Score="3" ViewCount="2653" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since my daughter has been 10 months old she has not slept through the night.  She is now two years old. She used to sleep very well, where she would go to sleep at 8pm and then wake up at 8am.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, for some reason at 10 months, she would wake up at around 2am and then not go back to sleep till 3-6am. It varies every night. She starts off in her own bed, and then she walks to my room, gets into the bed and then tosses and turns for hours. She will start talking and shouting randomly and then make hand gestures as if she is eating. I feel she wants to go back to sleep but she can't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried to put her back to sleep in her own bed, but because she shares the room with her brother, we are afraid she disturbs him, with the talking and shouting. We have tried cutting out her day nap, giving her milk in the night, changing diapers but nothing makes a difference. Sometimes out of the blue she will sleep through the night, but I cannot see any difference in the way we have put her to sleep or anything different in her daytime routine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am so exhausted as I have a 5 year old and a 11 month old. I just don't know how to tackle this problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3208" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-10T16:21:03.500" LastActivityDate="2018-04-10T16:21:03.500" Title="How do I stop my two year old from staying awake for 3-4 hours in the night?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6097" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6099" CreationDate="2012-09-15T02:56:30.063" Score="6" ViewCount="587" Body="&lt;p&gt;He is 14 years old. I have observed in his study of mathematics, he tries for some time, but then gives up sooner than one should (if the problem seems difficult). I guess just telling him to try harder won't work (just telling it plainly doesn't seem to work anyway).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3209" LastEditorUserId="3209" LastEditDate="2012-09-15T04:16:54.220" LastActivityDate="2012-10-16T20:51:25.770" Title="How do I teach my child the virtue of not quitting?" Tags="|education|school|learning|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6097" CreationDate="2012-09-15T04:00:57.193" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few years ago, a study was done on students that observed student response to how they were praised about their school work.  The study found that students who were praised with phrases like, &quot;You're so smart!&quot;  or &quot;Look how clever you are!&quot; were more likely to give up when confronted with a problem that they found difficult.  Students who were praised with phrases like, &quot;Good work!  I know that problem was really difficult, but you stuck with it and found the answer&quot; were more likely to be more resilient, were more likely to take extra work home, and more likely to say that they enjoyed the work.  You can read a quick synopsis on the article &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199709/praising-your-child&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, I think that it comes down to building self-confidence in your child--so that they believe that they can work through a difficult problem and they're not ashamed to ask for help if they get stuck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pediatricsafety.net/2011/03/practical-tips-to-help-teach-kids-the-%E2%80%9Cnever-give-up%E2%80%9D-work-ethic/&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; website has some good suggestions on helping develop a &quot;don't give up&quot; work ethic in your child.  They suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Define perseverance with your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach &quot;don't give up&quot; words.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Model effort and a strong work ethic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start a family, &quot;Never give up!&quot; motto.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Create a &quot;Stick to It&quot; award.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At his age, it might help to get him involved in a sport or activity that encourages and rewards perseverance.  Martial arts comes to mind just off the top of my head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-09-15T04:00:57.193" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6097" CreationDate="2012-09-15T16:38:45.857" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Giving up is not necessarily a bad thing, providing you are giving up on a certain approach to a problem, and not the problem altogether.  Knowing when to give up,  and figuring out what to try next instead are important problem solving skills.  In other words, if you've been sitting there staring at a math problem for 10 minutes without success, chances are that sitting there staring at it for an hour isn't going to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach him some strategies to try when he gets stuck:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go back and review material.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Practice some of the easier problems that led up to the hard one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask someone for help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take a break.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Break the problem up into smaller pieces.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make a list of specific reasons you're getting stuck, and address them one by one.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-15T16:38:45.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6096" CreationDate="2012-09-15T19:47:06.557" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;this is pretty common. One probable cause is that she knows that if she comes thought to you she will be allowed to stay- so you will need to make it plain that she has to stay in her own bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are different ways to do this - but all will take patience and persistence, as you have to let her know that even if she comes to your room she will be taken straight back (ideally in silence, and without a cuddle, so she doesn't associate reward with the visit) - it is conditioning: children can soon learn that when a particular activity doesn't gain any reward they might as well give up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/976/316&quot;&gt;How do you stop a toddler from trying to get into bed with her parents in the middle of the night?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-09-16T13:09:27.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6097" CreationDate="2012-09-16T01:46:10.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Discretion is the better part of valor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, it actually is okay to give up on something - completely. The key is knowing &lt;strong&gt;what&lt;/strong&gt; you're giving up and &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt;, and what the &lt;strong&gt;consequences&lt;/strong&gt; of giving up are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the type of questions I would ask. Let's use Mathematics as an example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why does he want to give up math? Is it hard? Perhaps he needs more guidance. Is it not hard enough? Perhaps he needs better challenges. Is it boring? Are there simply better things to do? Is it not important enough?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What does 'gives up' mean? Is he not completing assignments? Is he stopping problems after the first few steps are done? Is he not going to class? Is he taking the books home? What symptoms tell you he's not giving what he should?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What does he want to be when he grows up? If it's an astronaut, he'll pretty much need high marks in math. If he wants a good job, the marks themselves might not be important, but understanding the concepts and exercising the problem solving skills definitely will be!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is he aware of how you feel? Even if you can't tell him what you think he should do, maybe it will come naturally (you know him better than we do) if you guys just sit down and have a 'man-to-man' talk (or maybe you're his mom and can have a similar talk :) ).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll try to expand more on this later if I can get back to it =)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2012-09-16T01:46:10.710" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6046" CreationDate="2012-09-16T13:11:56.900" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cozumel is lovely, but it can be very hot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sunscreen, plenty of drinks, a hat and sandals for the beach are absolutely essential. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It felt safe enough and there were plenty of families there (I stayed mostly at an all-inclusive, going on diving tours). As a tourist destination, the main threats are pick-pockets and being ripped off when buying stuff at a market.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned above, only drink bottled water, avoid street vendor food if it looks like it's been lying around for too long, and be prepared in any case for the runs and vomiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-09-16T13:11:56.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2012-09-16T16:21:28.203" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I noticed that someone suggested offering lots of fruits. Fruits are not good for weight gain. My son is very underweight and we found we were feeding him too many fruits and he was not gaining well at all. We thought it as healthy for him, and it is in moderation, but not to pack on the pounds like he needed. Our pediatrician recommended carnation instant breakfast, cheese and butter (real butter) on everything possible. We tried Pediasure, but he doesn't like the taste and its pretty expensive. I've seen some people try adding cream instead of milk in mashed potatoes and I'm going to try that one next.  Hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3216" LastActivityDate="2012-09-16T16:21:28.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5336" CreationDate="2012-09-16T17:41:56.590" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a sister and I have two brothers younger then me. &#xA;What can I suggest you? First of all, limit the time that your brother spends on TV and internet (also tecnhical solutions are OK :)) Talk with him and explain him why spending time on TV and Internt is wrong. TV is completely bad for a young mind that is forming, because it is a passive media and so we haven't many way to avoid our minds' conditioning (the best way is turning off it ;)). Internet isn't completely bad, but, excepted some aspects, Internet and tv are very very similar. Before sitting in front of a pc screen, we have to do 2 very important things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) &lt;strong&gt;know&lt;/strong&gt; what we want to do on internet &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) &lt;strong&gt;decide&lt;/strong&gt; what time we are willing to spend in what we want to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time for Tv and internet games must be limited (1 hour/die is enough). I think that the best thing is talking with him and explaining that every form of addiction is dangerous, helping him to understand and desiring himself to spend less time on Tv and internet. Obviously he is going to do some resistence, but you'll be clear and.. also technical solutions are OK :) If technical solutions could feel your brother that you and your parents haven't trust with him, on the other hand can help him to regulate his time and his priorities, he'll know what is very important for him and, with your help, why. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that if you tell you parents that you want to take care of your brother, they'll be happy. On internet you can find a lot of studies talking about risks and dangers of tv and internet addiction. You can give them to your parents and.. they'll get alert but your brother is young and you can help him, yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you find time for doing his favourite activities toghether. Probably, at the beginning he could be pouting, bored, not collaborative.. You have to have a lot of good willing and patience, and you have to ignore all things that make you violent against your brother (I'm a little exaggerating!) !! :D :D The more you'll have difficulties, the more he needs detoxication :D &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that being a good brother, a good sister, isn't easy. I always want that they don't do my own mistakes.. but sometimes they prefer to make mistakes. Our parents sometimes are too busy &quot;to fight&quot; with them and we always want the best for the &quot;children&quot; of home... We have an important role: we have to help our brothers to grow up in the best way :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;p.s = I urge to you to have a lot of patience!!! Good luck!! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;p.s. 2 = Keep away from psychologists!!! All they want to is making money and long-lasting customers. Obviously there are many good exceptions, but be careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3211" LastEditorUserId="3211" LastEditDate="2012-09-19T08:15:13.470" LastActivityDate="2012-09-19T08:15:13.470" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6011" CreationDate="2012-09-16T22:08:42.953" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your little boy is OK! :) but I don't want to call this feeling &quot;love&quot;. Probably, your boy thinks that those little girls are pretty, kind and he is attracted by them. He is little and little children are always interested to world around them and to people different from them. Our society is full of false &quot;love&quot;. Our society countinuously tells about &quot;love&quot;. Tv programs and magazines are full of love story. All people talk about love without interruption, and nowadays also little children are &quot;fallen in love&quot;. But our society has almost removed love by daily life. I think that your baby calls &quot;love&quot; a common feeling, what is wrong is the name given to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3211" LastActivityDate="2012-09-16T22:08:42.953" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6096" CreationDate="2012-09-17T09:33:22.083" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you know what you need to do, you need to stop her getting into bed with you, but you are worried about disturbing the sleep of your son. If she had her own room you'd have dealt with that problem already. Unfortunately you are just going to have to deal with her sleeping in the same bed with you even if it disturbs your son. Put a stair gate up and let her cry it out. Ways that might make it easier:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get her tired out every night. The more tired she is the less likely she is to wake up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eliminate noise and light, although that's unlikely to be a problem at 2am it's still worth looking at what might be waking her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put water next to her bed, it's a small thing but you never know how what little things make a difference&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-17T09:33:22.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6097" CreationDate="2012-09-17T10:19:49.060" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he may need help with his math, not encouragement to try harder. Just telling him to try harder isn't going to help if he doesn't understand it, so get him some help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to his teacher. Explain how he is having trouble with the harder problems, and is getting frustrated because he really wants to solve them. A teacher's usually glad to help a student who wants to learn&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work with him. If you or someone close to you is good at math sit with him and help solve the problem. He needs help, not encouragement&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach him to find help with math on the web. There's loads of math tutoring sites like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.math.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Math.com&lt;/a&gt; that offer free help. It's not important that he solves the problems on his own all the time, learning how to help himself is empowering and good for self-confidence. As long as he learns the techniques he needs to do well on tests who cares how he learns?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to find practical applications. My mother had me practice my math by balancing her checkbook and that taught me more than one lesson&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to how to keep him from quitting in general, so much of it is about self confidence, building his self-confidence is key. If he learns that hard work brings success and reward then you'll get more hard work. So praise and hard work and perseverance. Start easier, than give him more and more challenging things to do, and encourage him to think of his own challenges. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2012-09-17T10:25:09.800" LastActivityDate="2012-09-17T10:25:09.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6109" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-18T01:38:11.540" Score="15" ViewCount="58138" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15 month old toddler is very active and I often find it challenging to match his pace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to get bored with his toys very quickly. Earlier he used to be very much interested in my laptop and iPhone because I forbid him. Now I let him use and he gets bored with them too quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions on what kind of toys OR what type of activities can keep him engaged with me  for longer periods of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3089" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-09-18T08:27:23.443" LastActivityDate="2017-12-30T15:53:18.337" Title="How to better engage myself with my 15 month old" Tags="|toddler|activities|toys|family-activities|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6109" CreationDate="2012-09-18T08:26:02.090" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, my advice is that you should avoid television and computers for now. He's too young to really benefit from it, and these things can train him to become even more impatient and shorten his attention span. I think this related question has several useful answers for you: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5672/how-can-i-keep-a-14-month-old-busy-at-some-activity-for-longer-than-3-minutes&quot;&gt;How can I keep a 14 month old busy at some activity for longer than 3 minutes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you could do is &lt;strong&gt;present some toys that allow open-ended play&lt;/strong&gt;. For instance, many of today's electronic toys are meant to be used in a specific way and that actually limits what you can do with the toy. Compare with &lt;strong&gt;something like building blocks&lt;/strong&gt; -- you can stack them, put them in a row, use them on the side or upside down, use them as loading material (or garages) for toy trucks, and so on. Open-ended toys could also be beads, crayons, play-doh, sand in the yard, and many other things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Open-ended toys usually have the additional advantage that they don't bore &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; as much either while you play alongside your child. This is significant because &lt;strong&gt;kids mimic what we do:&lt;/strong&gt; if the child sees &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; engaging with the toys for a long time (let's say 10-15 minutes) then you also &lt;em&gt;demonstrate&lt;/em&gt; that these are good and fun toys, worthy of spending time on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-09-18T08:26:02.090" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6112" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-19T06:51:54.813" Score="-7" ViewCount="631" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it true that instead of using a home pregnancy test you can you lay on your tummy and check for a pulse on your belly button? If you feel your own heartbeat, then you are not pregnant. Otherwise, you are pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did someone lie to me or is there a scientific basis for this method?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2012-09-23T01:48:55.703" LastActivityDate="2012-09-23T01:48:55.703" Title="Check pregnancy" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2012-10-30T00:53:07.650" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6112" CreationDate="2012-09-19T07:04:53.273" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, that is not true. You can't feel the heartbeats through the bellybutton, and you can't feel anything, like kicks, etc, until way after it being obvious that you are pregnant anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2012-09-19T07:04:53.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6112" CreationDate="2012-09-19T08:24:45.593" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't feel a heartbeat by pressing on your belly button even when the baby is ready to come out. It takes half of pregnancy for the baby to get bigger then your thumb. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-19T08:24:45.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6112" CreationDate="2012-09-19T08:46:34.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Lennart says, you can't tell if you're pregnant that way.&#xA;Early signs of pregnancy can be mistaken for your period, or for a nasty infection (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/pregnancy-am-i-pregnant&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;nausea, tiredness, becoming moody&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you aren't sure, take a pregnancy test when your next period is due, or see a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2012-09-19T08:46:34.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2012-09-19T19:37:27.203" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;Around the age of 4 to 6, all children develop a sense of self and self-efficacy. From the perspective of the parents, children that were easy to direct before now become contrary. At the same time a child that age cannot express her frustrations well without resorting to tears or, if the frustration is bad, a tantrum. Around the age of 6 or 7, children develop the ability to understand and care about another person's wishes and needs. Then the &quot;unwarranted&quot; and extreme outbursts stop. (All of this is a process and not something that happens over night, so of course your child's behavior will slowly get &quot;better&quot; in the coming months.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, first of all don't expect your child to be able to suppress her frustration and discuss her wants with you like an adult would. The tantrum is okay, it is her way of saying: I really don't want this. Just as you expect other people to accept that you don't agree with them, accept that your child does not agree with you. She just cannot express it in a civilized manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, following from your understanding that your child's behavior is totally normal and in tune with her current developmental abilities, there is no need to get upset about your child's emotional outburst. Distance yourself from it. It is not you, who is frustrated and gets upset, but your child. Just as you would be expected to deal with an adult saying that he does not like what you want of him and feels sad or angered, you must be able to accept that your child is of a different opinion. Disagreement is something that both parties have to endure. Stay calm and relaxed. After some time you will realize that your child's tantrums get weaker and less frequent, because,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;third, a child is a very adaptable being. Children can grow up under all kinds of circumstances, and still be healthy and &quot;function well&quot;. This means, if you turn it around, that much of what you observe in your child is adaptation to her surroundings, and since you are a prominent part of those surroundings, much of that behavior is, in other words, caused by you. If you change yourself, your child will adapt to those changes and in turn be changed as well. Understanding and friendly parents are proven to be the most reliable cause of nice children :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if your child is extremely frustrated by what life and you throw at her, think about if what you expect of her is maybe not really fair. For example, I would say that taking away her toys is just not right. They don't belong to you, and you have no right to take them away. Just imagine your husband would take away all your clothes (or whatever) because you were not in the mood to cook (or whatever). Why do you treat your child in a way that you would never accept if it were done with you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expecting her to hold eye contact when you tell her not to express her frustration is degrading. Imagine you must do something, that you really, really find unfair, and you express your anger, and the person ordering you expects you to look him in they eyes and tell them that you will do it and not say anything unfriendly henceforth. How would you feel? I would feel like I want to punch that person in the face. And that is what your daughter does. Again, it comes down to accepting that some things are frustrating to your daughter and that it is perfectly okay that she lets you know of this frustration. After all, your family is not a tyranny, but a family, isn't it? It is based on love and understanding, not on your child performing your wishes without any mind of her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found that a good strategy in dealing with children is threefold:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Enforce your own boundaries, not those of the child.&lt;/strong&gt; For example, if you want quiet after eight o'clock, enforce that quiet. Don't force your child into bed. My son -- he is now five -- started going to bed without any problems, after I made clear to him that I won't bend a finger for him after eight. He had to go to bed without me reading to him and tucking him in a few nights, and now he gets ready when I tell him he has half an hour, if he wants me to read a story to him. Of course he cannot fall asleep immediately every night, because some nights he is not tired, some nights there are things that he needs to think about, and some nights he simply wants to look at another book or play with his cars some more. I allow him all of that, but I suggest to him that he do it in bed and turn off the light when he is finished. So some nights he reads a book and some nights he quietly plays with some toys, but I get my quiet and I don't have to do anything for him, and he accepts that. I do the same things with all other things that once were a cause for fighting: getting dressed for kindergarten (he once had to go without shoes in the snow, and he was never dressed late after that), eating what he filled on his plate (he does not get anything else to eat before he eats everything on his plate, no matter how long this may take, even if he has to eat the cold lunch for breakfast the next day (yes, I don't warm it up anymore)) etc. My son, who is extremely strong willed and threw lots of tantrums when he was four, is a nice and easy child today, only because I stopped telling him what to do. The only thing I tell him is what I will do or not do. And he accepts that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Remain calm and unaffected.&lt;/strong&gt; If you don't get upset or angry or sad or whatever by the tantrums, the child will understand that they have no effect and stop throwing them. And with unaffected I don't mean simply outwardly cool, but truly unaffected. Children know if they affect you, and they will use it (which is the only power they have, so don't begrudge them it). Your child must have the impression that whatever is happening must happen, because it is a law of nature. It has to go to bed in the same way that the sun has to sink under the horizon. It is not you who want that, it is something that simply happens. Act that way. You would not get upset about the sun, so don't get upset about your child. Make things happen (sit down on the sofa and don't deal with your child, after you said what was going to happen -- if you do this a couple of time, the thing you want will happen).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be clear about what you want.&lt;/strong&gt; I don't mean, express yourself in a way that your child understands you, but: You yourself must understand what you truly want. Do you want that your child goes to bed at eight, or do you want quiet and time for yourself? That is not the same, and you can have a quiet time for yourself even if your child is still awake. There really is no reason why a child must sleep at eight. If she sleeps late she will be tired the next day, and that is none of your concern, because she will be in a foul mood, not you. If you explain the effects that she experiences to her, after some time she will understand and want to go to bed early. It is said that you have to repeat things 200 times, before a child learns them, so don't expect one explanation to be enough. Your child is growing up, so give her time to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final word of warning: Spanking (which is forbidden in many western countries and could lead a parent to jail in Germany) has been consistently shown to be linked to mood disorders, anxiety disorders, substance abuse and personality disorders. I would strongly recommend that you stop spanking your child immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastEditorDisplayName="user3140" LastEditDate="2012-09-19T19:46:36.660" LastActivityDate="2012-09-19T19:46:36.660" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6060" CreationDate="2012-09-19T20:02:47.077" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am old enough to have been in my twenties when the internet and personal computers became achievable to the general public in the 1990s. I was enthusiastic about this and posted all kinds of things under my real name. I can still read most of this today, and much of what I posted is extremely embarrassing, if not detrimental to my career. I have spent many hours and days, trying to delete or have deleted the tracks I left on the net. If my parents had published a website about myself as a child, I would never talk to them again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2012-09-19T20:02:47.077" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6119" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-19T23:25:50.683" Score="10" ViewCount="44471" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's great that they think hygiene is important. It's a hassle that the bathroom is tied up.&#xA;How do you get a teenager to be faster in the shower?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="61" LastActivityDate="2015-08-01T11:26:22.950" Title="How do you get a teenager to take shorter showers?" Tags="|teen|hygiene|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6119" CreationDate="2012-09-20T04:42:35.923" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on why they are taking so much time in the bathroom.  It could be that they are just enjoying the shower.  Or they could be practicing different looks in front of the mirror.  Or they could be enjoying the privacy of the bathroom - most teenagers don't have anywhere else that provides complete privacy with a locked door.  Make sure they have those things elsewhere and they may not take as long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a temporary solution you could always turn off the hot water tank when they've been in there too long :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3021" LastActivityDate="2012-09-20T04:42:35.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6119" CreationDate="2012-09-20T09:35:30.630" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can make a deal with your teenager. Short showers in the morning and if he plans on taking longer showers or a bath he has to wait until he's the last one using the bathroom or take the longer shower at night. When he doesn't keep to that rule, you can agree to turn off the hot water as Grant proposed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is about water costs, you can skip the first part and just agree to turn off the hot water of they exceed a certain span of time. Put a cooking clock in the bathroom, so he can hear it's time to turn off the tap or a cold wave is coming his way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2164" LastActivityDate="2012-09-20T09:35:30.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6060" CreationDate="2012-09-20T13:24:09.427" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a Facebook page for our daughter. It is only accessible by our friends and family. We use it to post photos and videos and the occasional status update (sometimes even typed by our daughter).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did this because all of her relatives (except her parents) live abroad, scattered over Australia, Germany and Sweden. Our relatives really appreciate the chance to see our little one grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd be less comfortable making this public, and we only accept &quot;friend requests&quot; from people we actually know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-09-20T13:24:09.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6119" CreationDate="2012-09-20T19:21:01.967" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should sit down and discuss with your son or daughter what the underlying problem is and brainstorm possible solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the problem that his siblings are not getting a turn to shower in the morning? Or it's making them late for school? Is it that the siblings need to get in the bathroom to brush their teeth or use the toilet? Is it that there's only one bathroom in the whole house and everyone's having to hold bodily functions when they need to go because he's showing so long? That other family members are getting cold showers because (s)he's used up the hot water? Is he being not curteous or considerate of other family members? Address the underlying issue as the problem when looking for solutions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There might be a variety of different solutions that would solve the underlying problem. Perhaps you set a schedule where he has to get up earlier if he wants extended time in the shower (or waits till everyone else is done) and a large wall clock in the bathroom so (s)he can keep an eye on the time so they realize when their allotted time slot is up for shower so other family members can use the bathroom. If he isn't good with the schedule, perhaps you need to get an opaque shower curtain (for privacy) and replace the bathroom doorknob with one that doesn't lock (or use a paperclip to unlock the door from the outside), and allow other family members to come up and use the sinks to brush their teeth etc after whatever time his alloted private shower time is over, so he is not disrupting their need to get ready by a certain time. Perhaps you just need to move toothbrushes or blow dryers or contact lenses or makeup or whatever else moved to a bedroom dressing table, another sink, etc. Perhaps your house is ill-equipped for the number of people, and you need to get a plumber to install a sink outside of the bathroom for toothbrushing or put up a partition so the shower is seperated from the sink? Perhaps you need a full-length mirror in a bedroom? Do you need a better hot water heater so more people can have hot showers? Or a rule about how long showers can be unless you're willing to wait to be the last shower, so everyone can have a fair chance to get a hot shower? Is it lack of planning on your part that things you need to get ready are in the bathroom that could be stored elsewhere? Once you realize &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; him (or her) taking long showers is a problem in the first place, you'll probably get a lot farther in finding an adequate solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-09-20T19:21:01.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6096" CreationDate="2012-09-20T19:32:42.460" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't imagine you are getting much sleep with her tossing and turning in your bed. I would probably start by getting her a sleeping bag, and leaving it at the foot of your bed. Let her know that in the future, if she can't sleep and wishes to come sleep in your room she is to use her sleeping bag and sleep at the foot of the bed instead of getting into bed with you. Move her out of bed and into the sleeping bag, or return her to her own bed as needed until she &quot;gets&quot; the new rule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, I would discuss with her pediatrician whether her behavior is indicative of sleepwalking or not, because solutions for sleepwalking may look quite different than solutions for someone who gets lonely in the middle of the night, or has trouble re-settling herself if she wakes up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I would also mention that some parents swear by melatonin to help their children sleep restfully who otherwise have tons of trouble falling asleep quickly and staying asleep. Obviously, you would want to rule out sleepwalking as a cause first and discuss appropriate dosage with her pediatrician before trying this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-09-20T19:32:42.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2402" CreationDate="2012-09-21T14:39:34.693" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are supposed to be in control of the children and one of them is leaving the house at his will when not dangerously disrupting the house when home - then -YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. You have asked the parents for their help and they LAUGH at the situation - then - YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. Would you drive a school bus when everything is out of control...NO. This is your cue to call in the authorities and admit the situation is out of control...and you can not gain control and therefore need to leave asap. The parents are the authorities you tell this to and then make a complaint to child services. No more negotiating. The parents refusal to do their job is not your fault. Human service positions are complex jobs - but they are jobs and not permanent positions like parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3240" LastActivityDate="2012-09-21T14:39:34.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6109" CreationDate="2012-09-21T21:07:55.720" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son started really getting into certain types of building toys around that age, wooden trains/tracks, duplos, and megablocks. Megablocks are easier to put together than duplos if you child is not dexterous enough for duplos yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spend as much time as you can doing physical (for him) things too, take walks together, or take a soft ball outside and show him how to kick it. Or go to a playground and practice climbing or swinging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, at that age children have a very short attention span, so even just changing &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; you're using the toys when they start to get bored may help keep their interest. If you were building towers out of blocks and then knocking them over, maybe change to building &quot;beds&quot; or roads or houses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sensory activities can really entertain some kids at that age well. A sand table, or a big bin or rice or beans (presuming they aren't tempted to eat them) can be quite entertaining. Especially with some scoops. Or a water table or buckets on a patio. Pouring water can entertain for a long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-09-21T21:07:55.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6128" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6158" CreationDate="2012-09-21T22:49:06.483" Score="4" ViewCount="9126" Body="&lt;p&gt;We tried plugging the un-entered nostril and blowing in to his mouth and got nothing but boogers coming out. We went to urgent care and they had us repeat the same &quot;trick&quot; and nothing came out. They didn't see anything through the small scope thing they use with the disposable cones. They just said to watch for &quot;pussy looking&quot; boogers and a fever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son slept in short periods but awoke every 30-40 minutes crying and rubbing his nose which is abnormal to his sleeping routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else had this happen with their kids? What was the treatment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess i'm looking more for other's experience with this and information on treatment more than anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2904" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T05:05:00.747" Title="My 22mo son stuck a pinto bean up his nose. How should it be extracted?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-11-03T18:43:01.857" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6128" CreationDate="2012-09-22T04:05:33.860" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid I stuck a small stone in my ear. My mother had to take me to the hospital to have it removed. This nurse came out with this very large metal syringe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was something like this image.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/9ly1q.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Water was injected into my ear and then quickly sucked out with the syringe. The stone popped out on the first try. The nurse did it so quickly that it was over before I realizes what she did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I was about 10 years old when this happen. I don't recommend doing this own your own to a 2 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other issue is that it's gone to far up the nose to be seen. There should be no problem with the bean passing up through the nostril into the back of the throat. So either it comes out going forward or it comes out going deeper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There isn't really much you can do unless it doesn't go away on it's own. You could try washing it out with non-medicated nose spray, or you could try the syringe approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don't stick anything up there to try and poke it or grab it. That would be very bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T04:05:33.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6130" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:16:09.510" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T16:16:09.510" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T16:16:09.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6131" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:16:09.510" Score="0" Body="Amongst humans, a term used to describe the female of the species." OwnerUserId="3242" LastEditorUserId="3242" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T17:16:53.187" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T17:16:53.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6132" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:17:28.460" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T16:17:28.460" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T16:17:28.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6133" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:17:28.460" Score="0" Body="Attention deficit disorder" OwnerUserId="3242" LastEditorUserId="3242" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T17:16:46.557" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T17:16:46.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6134" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:19:11.283" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T16:19:11.283" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T16:19:11.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6135" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:19:11.283" Score="0" Body="For questions about air travel with children, including preparations, airport, flying vehicle (e. g. airplane) and its aftermath." OwnerUserId="3242" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-27T19:15:06.333" LastActivityDate="2019-02-27T19:15:06.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6128" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:22:33.990" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This goes into the &quot;don't try this at home&quot; category, go back to the hospital and leave this to the professionals with the experience and tools to do the job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T16:22:33.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6137" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:23:49.527" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T16:23:49.527" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T16:23:49.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6138" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-22T16:23:49.527" Score="0" Body="A disease affecting the intake of oxygen through the lungs." OwnerUserId="3242" LastEditorUserId="3242" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T17:16:55.883" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T17:16:55.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6128" CreationDate="2012-09-22T17:31:14.473" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hospitals have a specialized tool for safely removing items lodged in the nasal cavity. One of my friends had this happen to her son recently with a bead, and was quite disappointed to have to spend the money to visit the emergency room to have it dislodged, but it is a fairly quick procedure and not especially painful. This definitely not a do it yourself project, you don't want to get it stuck worse than it already is or cause further injury. Please leave this to a professional! Take your child to a nearby emergency room to have the bean removed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T17:31:14.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6128" CreationDate="2012-09-22T18:07:30.100" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a corn (much like the un-popped corn at the bottom of a bag of popcorn) stuck in my nostril when I was about 4-5 years old. My parents took me to a hospital (we lived in India then) and the doctor their recommended surgery. My parents then took me to another hospital. There they used a tool to dislodge the corn from my nose. It was fast, took them like maybe a minute. I don't remember what kind of tool it was, but it was like a metal strip. And again, as other posters have said, this should be left to the professionals. Hospitals should have the stuff to deal with these kinds of situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3243" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T18:07:30.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6141" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-09-22T18:20:04.767" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T18:20:04.767" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T18:20:04.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6142" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-22T18:20:04.767" Score="0" Body="For all questions about children and clothes, e. g. which clothes are appropriate, how to make a child wear them, how to dress a child, what children do with their clothes (e. g. how they treat them, how often they change them) etc." OwnerUserId="30519" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-27T19:15:00.843" LastActivityDate="2019-02-27T19:15:00.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6143" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-09-22T18:30:23.753" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-09-22T18:30:23.753" LastActivityDate="2012-09-22T18:30:23.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6144" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-22T18:30:23.753" Score="0" Body="For all questions pertaining to swimming, like when and how to teach swimming, safety concerns, helping children lose their fear of swimming or motivating and encouraging them to swim." OwnerUserId="3242" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-26T17:23:02.437" LastActivityDate="2019-03-26T17:23:02.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6145" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-09-23T01:57:26.733" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-09-23T01:57:26.733" LastActivityDate="2012-09-23T01:57:26.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6146" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-09-23T01:57:26.733" Score="0" Body="People, real or imagined, who others choose to emulate." OwnerUserId="3242" LastEditorUserId="3242" LastEditDate="2012-09-23T09:47:28.013" LastActivityDate="2012-09-23T09:47:28.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6147" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6150" CreationDate="2012-09-23T18:56:10.367" Score="6" ViewCount="856" Body="&lt;p&gt;We co-sleep with our little one and it has generally been very successful. Now she is on the brink of learning how to crawl, and we are worried that she might crawl off the bottom of the bed while we are sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do people avoid this happening? Will she automatically not do this or will we notice if she does? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-09-24T06:43:54.263" LastActivityDate="2012-09-24T06:43:54.263" Title="Co-sleeping with a crawler" Tags="|toddler|infant|cosleeping|crawling|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6147" CreationDate="2012-09-23T19:09:00.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You'll need to put up some sort of child barrier, definitely. Once children start getting mobile in bed you've got to make sure they're contained as they move in their sleep and could easily wriggle their way off the end, sides, or anywhere they can possibly get to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-23T19:09:00.850" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6149" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-23T20:44:48.967" Score="4" ViewCount="15013" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is lots of debate regarding microwaving plastics, even if they are BPA-free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Curious if there is a definitive risk of using a microwave sterilizer (steriliser) (such as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.philips.ca/c/avent-baby-preparing-for-feeding/scf271_07/prd/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Avent&lt;/a&gt;) vs. using an electric steam sterilizer (also made by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.philips.ca/c/avent-baby-preparing-for-feeding/110v-scf274_30/prd/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Avent&lt;/a&gt;) with BPA-free bottles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3172" LastActivityDate="2012-09-28T12:09:37.117" Title="Is it safe to use a microwave sterilizer to sterilize BPA-free baby bottles?" Tags="|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6147" CreationDate="2012-09-23T23:47:16.543" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids need to learn that things have edges and that you fall down when you crawl or toddle over them.  We had our kids often on a futon on a carpet. Maybe an 8&quot; fall. That was perfect for learning what happens if you go over the edge and what to do about this. As a result they were all very early &quot;staircase&quot; safe and knew what to do when approaching an edge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barriers prevent this learning from happening. I'm friends with a brain surgeon at Boston's Children hospital. According to him one of the main causes for serious brain injury are barriers at the top of the stairs. Kids climb eventually over them and the resulting fall is typically head first much much worse than simply falling down the stairs as is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case it really depends on what a fall may look like. If it's a 4 foot fall on stone tiles, you need prevent it with all possible means. If it's only two feet and there is only one spot where the youngster could escape, I would consider putting a thick pillow or elevated cushion there. In any case, I would make sure that there is some opportunity for safe falling so that the kid can learn the properly handle that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3044" LastActivityDate="2012-09-23T23:47:16.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6149" CreationDate="2012-09-25T12:43:50.077" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's enough research in the matter to make a judgement, studies on these types of things take years, and often contradict each other. I'd be on the safe side and use an electric steam sterilizer as I don't know the answer. there's other good reasons for using an electric one:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are nearly silent, and microwaves are noisy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are a bit more efficient than microwaves. Microwaves are an expensive way to boil water, which is all that sterilization is about really&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-25T12:43:50.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5232" CreationDate="2012-09-25T13:34:42.823" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We abandoned swaddling at 4 weeks because our son would scream and thrash when being swaddled. We tried every type including miracle blanket. He was still waking 3-5 times a night and not napping well unless being held or laid next to. We adopted the cosleeper bassinet unit from summer infant and this worked wonders for a while until he would wake up if you even shifted a tiny bit. We went to the crib using swaddle sacks and waking again 3-5 times a night with horrible napping patterns. Finally one exhausted day I broke down and swaddled him for a nap. He took a three hour nap the first time and one hour the second. Then I swaddled him that night at his 9pm bed time ( he won't wind down until around 8:30 so we start the bedtime ritual at 7:30) and he slept from 9 to 4. Then up for a bottle and back down till 8:30 am. I've found that the more strict I am with naps and routines the better he responds. He's 12 weeks now and going through a leap so it's a little off but I just stick to the routines he's helped work himself into. Eat play nap. Usually this is about a three hour stretch. For a long time we went through the eating every hour cycle. It was exhausting. I hope it gets better for you soon!&#xA;Also my son suffers from severe reflux and milk and soy intolerance. Check with your dr it took us three visits to get it figured out and several medication changes to get a hold on it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3252" LastEditorUserId="3252" LastEditDate="2012-09-25T13:41:29.037" LastActivityDate="2012-09-25T13:41:29.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6154" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6157" CreationDate="2012-09-25T15:01:50.427" Score="16" ViewCount="3590" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beyond the usual teenage mood-swings, my teen's behavior has become unusually erratic.  He stays out late, and seems to go out of his way to avoid me when he comes home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His sleep patterns seem completely random, and I don't trust the people he's been hanging out with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I confront him?  Should I search his room to see if I can find any evidence?  Should I tell him he can't hang out with &quot;that crowd&quot; anymore?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I do confront him, I have no idea how to go about it.  Any suggestions would be appreciated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2017-09-03T11:29:59.893" Title="I suspect my teenager is using illegal drugs; what should I do?" Tags="|teen|drugs|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6154" CreationDate="2012-09-25T17:49:10.877" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ransacking his room and invading his personal space may come back to haunt you, especially if he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; hiding something. TRUST me, he will notice if you've searched his room and that may cause him to distance himself even further from you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would just casually confront him about it via discussing something you &quot;saw on the news&quot; recently relating to drug-use and then steer the conversation from there. Don't be overly aggressive about it; i.e., &quot;Son, sit down. We have to talk.&quot; That may scare him off. Just mention a story or something about drug-use in a blasé fashion and see how he reacts. That should be the first step. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sincerely,&#xA;A teenager &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3254" LastActivityDate="2012-09-25T17:49:10.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6154" CreationDate="2012-09-25T20:59:05.580" Score="37" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't have nearly enough evidence to accuse him.  You're also beyond the point where you can forbid him from doing something.  You need to persuade him, and performing a search won't help with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Badmouthing his friends is also likely to backfire.  His selection of friends is highly personal and the largest part of his identity right now.  It would be like someone telling you that you made a poor career choice and married the wrong woman.  If you insult his friends, you're insulting his decision-making ability precisely when you're trying to persuade him he can make the right decision on drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the first thing I would say is to show an interest in his friends.  Ask your son what he likes about them.  Remember their names.  Encourage him to invite his friends to your home by offering to buy pizza or rent a movie or whatever.  Maybe let him postpone homework or something if he has his friends over to your house instead of going out.  When they come over, greet them warmly, make a little small talk, then get out of their way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you have a talk with him, try to do more listening than talking.  Take him out to a restaurant or sporting event where you'll have a guaranteed block of time and silences won't be so awkward.  Remember you want to coax, not confront.  Speak in hypotheticals instead of accusing him.  Ask him what he thinks the consequences of drug abuse would be.  Ask him about strategies for resisting drug use.  If someone offered him drugs at a party, what would he do?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praise him for what he knows and fill in the gaps of what he doesn't know.  Ask him what you can do to help.  Offer him no-questions-asked rides.  Tell him he can blame you to his friends.  Ask him if he did make a mistake, what would be the adult way to handle it.  Assure him if he acts like an adult, you will treat him like one, but if you find out from someone else, it will not be pretty for him.  Show him he can trust you not to jump to conclusions by not forcing him to open up.  Give him plenty of time.  One talk isn't going to instantly change things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is abusing drugs and doesn't open up about it, trust me that he will know you suspect him even if you don't directly accuse him.  The fact that you know but are willing to give him the benefit of the doubt will send a &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; stronger message than accusing him without proof.  The goal here is not to micromanage his behavior, but to build up enough confidence for him to &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to say no.  You want him thinking &quot;Dad trusts me to make the right decision&quot; instead of &quot;Dad doesn't trust me anyway, so why should I resist?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-25T20:59:05.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6128" CreationDate="2012-09-25T21:51:37.283" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;After visiting 2 urgent cares and our pediatrician the recommendation is unanimous. Sit and wait for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fever or pussy boogers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Weird smell to produce (a sign the bean has sprouted)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nothing to happen and the bean 'likely' dislodged on it's own and he swallowed it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is driving us crazy with worry is that we just don't know for absolute certainty what happened to the bean. Both nostrils are very stuffed up right now and little man is pretty unhappy with that. no fever, nasty smells, or signs of major discomfort. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, all docs have said that because my son wont allow them to get a good look in his nose that he would need to be sedated to extract it assuming it is still there. =\&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2904" LastActivityDate="2012-09-25T21:51:37.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1318" CreationDate="2012-09-26T12:44:10.767" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants &amp;amp; Toddlers learn by Experimentation, Trial &amp;amp; Error. This means that they will make a lot of failed experiments, and a lot of errors before they figure out what works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent your role is to make sure there are plenty of little bumps to learn from, but no bumps that are going to cause trauma/damage etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you should learn to recognise then your Infant/Toddler is crying for attention or reassurance, and when they are actually hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3007" LastActivityDate="2012-09-26T12:44:10.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6154" CreationDate="2012-09-26T12:50:20.100" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you sure you are asking the right question? You suspect he's using drugs not because you have any evidence, but because he's staying out late and his behavior isn't what you'd like. I think maybe you are looking at this from the wrong perspective, maybe you should be asking why he's avoiding you and staying out late. There comes a time when you can't stop them from doing what they want, and trying to stop them makes them either rebel or resent you. You can't boss anymore, you can only try to guide and provide advice for the most part. There still needs to be limits, but much fewer and less tight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teens need freedom, and if you don't give them enough willingly they are inclined to take it for themselves at the risk of their relationship with their parents. Is it possible that you are trying to control his life too closely? Maybe these behaviors are a message to you to back off a bit and start treating him like a young adult rather than a kid. Take a look at your parenting style from the perspective of your son, put yourself in his shoes and see how you'd feel. If there's things that you realize might not be helping change your style as necessary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, talk with him. Not to him, but with him. Let him know it's time for him to start making his own decisions, and that you aren't going to try to stop him from running some aspects of his life but that to get more freedom he has to earn your trust. Express your concerns and why you have them, and ask him to come up with solutions. Negotiate on those solutions until you come up with a workable compromise. Write down the agreement and stick to it. This will show him that you respect him and don't look at him as a kid anymore, and your respect is one of the things he wants most. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-26T12:50:20.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6161" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-26T14:40:30.363" Score="10" ViewCount="112779" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was under 11 months old, he ate a lot, but I don't know what changed when he reached 1 year old. It seems like he doesn't like to eat. When we give our son food, sometimes he tries to taste or eat it a little, but then refuses to eat it. I heard from a neighbor that the he may be bored with the food, so we served him different food, but he still doesn't seem to be interested. We also tried to change the way we gave the food to our son, but that didn't solve the problem either. One thing that keeps me a little more calm is that lately he more often asks to be breastfed. Maybe this is caused by his eating less solid food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard that this phase is pretty normal for all children. What has actually happened to our son in this phase? What makes him not want to eat the food we give him? He has asked for food, but then doesn't eat it.&#xA;Is it enough that we focus on giving him more in breastfeeding? Because when he doesn't eat as much solid food, he asks for breastfeeding more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-02T16:17:28.363" LastActivityDate="2017-01-03T09:39:08.533" Title="My one year old son doesn't want to eat. What happened to my son?" Tags="|toddler|development|food|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6161" CreationDate="2012-09-26T15:52:48.100" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he won't eat he's probably not hungry. Around one their growth slows down and they eat a bit less, and if he's still getting breast fed then he's probably getting enough calories from that he doesn't need solid food. So if you want him to eat:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stop breast feeding and bottle feeding so he will be hungry for solids&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Introduce a variety of foods, and make some of them finger foods so he can eat them himself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't try and force-feed, that will put him off food. Kids that age want to take more charge of their eating, so encourage him to eat himself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-26T15:52:48.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6109" CreationDate="2012-09-26T17:34:38.070" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 year old was that way when she was a toddler. She wouldn't play with any toy for longer than 5 to 10 minutes. While it was quite frustrating at the time, it all makes sense now. She has turned out to be an extroverted go-getter who is involved in myriad school activities and also doing great with her academics. It was just her personality. Hang in there!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3258" LastActivityDate="2012-09-26T17:34:38.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6164" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-26T19:21:03.923" Score="16" ViewCount="854" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems everybody and his cat has a smartphone today. (I'm guilty too.) My son will probably demand his own phone somewhere between the age of 7 and 12. I know I can't compare to &lt;em&gt;when I was a kid&lt;/em&gt; because the world is completely different today. So how can I decide?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When should kids get their own cellphone?&lt;/strong&gt; What factors are relevant for the decision?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Smartphone, or plain cellphone?&lt;/strong&gt; Why?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-10-01T15:21:39.673" LastActivityDate="2020-10-04T13:54:24.830" Title="When should kids get a cellphone?" Tags="|primary-schooler|screen-time|cellphone|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6154" CreationDate="2012-09-26T20:38:22.893" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you describe sounds a lot like me when I was a teenager about a decade ago. Long story short, I've never done drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a terrible sleep schedule, and I still do. It wasn't so much that I was doing anything important or bad as it was that I was on MSN talking to friends (some of whom lived in Japan), or playing Starcraft. As a result I'd often take long naps, which would mess up my schedule even more. A lot of my friends have terrible sleep schedules too, as do the students at the high school I volunteer at. I think it's just a problem that plagues our generation as a whole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I avoided my parents a lot too. There wasn't any particular reason, and I didn't hate them or anything; they just weren't as much friends as they were parental units. I guarantee you that as long as you don't get into utterly unamicable arguments with him, he'll eventually stop avoiding you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hung out with good people who also happened to be stoners and ravers. They never forced me to participate, and instead we just drove around town or complained about the Iraq war or life or worked on nerdy projects, often late at night. We never caused a ruckus -- except maybe that one birthday party when my friend's parents weren't home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your son -- chances are that if he's doing any drugs at all, it's pot -- and if it is, you'll know it from the smell. If it's a dangerous amount of alcohol, again, you'll probably know from the smell. If it's any other &quot;hard drugs&quot;, you'd probably see a lot more symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it does turn out that he's smoking pot, it might be a good idea strategically not to admonish it too much, because it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; true that a lot of research exists in defense of marijuana, and so you could risk him using science against you if you went at the problem guns blazing. However, it's also true that &lt;a href=&quot;http://blog.norml.org/2010/09/15/incarceration-nation-marijuana-arrests-for-year-2009-near-record-high/&quot;&gt;most places in North America are locking up more and more marijuana users&lt;/a&gt;, so you could let him know that you don't want that to happen to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's something like MDMA/ecstasy, you might want to be a bit concerned -- but again, as the others have said, it'd probably make sense to tread as lightly as possible within reason, especially until it becomes an unmistakable threat to his wellbeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-hermione-granger-effect-why-teenagers-are-finally-starting-to-say-no-to-drugs-and-alcohol-7979659.html&quot;&gt;Less kids are doing drugs in general&lt;/a&gt;. They have the internet and 9gag and YouTube; they've all seen and laughed at the stupid things people do when they're high. They all have friends that have their parents on Facebook, even if they don't themselves. That's not to say drugs are gone, but I think it's coming to a point where it's safer to assume that it's some other problem besides drugs, quite likely something more benign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that makes you feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1048" LastEditorUserId="1048" LastEditDate="2012-09-26T20:54:43.910" LastActivityDate="2012-09-26T20:54:43.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6164" CreationDate="2012-09-26T20:40:35.073" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have the same basic criteria for everything like that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did they &lt;em&gt;ask&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have they demonstrated an ability to handle the responsibility?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a phone, the second point would be demonstrated by showing they can take care of other prized possessions, i.e. not leaving them where my daughter can run them over with her wheelchair, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other factor to consider is the policy of your child's school.  Assuming schools over there are as annoying as here, some have downright draconian rules on the subject.  Make sure you're not setting him up to get it confiscated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Myself and my three siblings were all teenagers at the same time, and we were all heavily involved in jobs and extracurricular activities.  Every Sunday night we sat down for a &quot;calendar meeting,&quot; where we copied events from each other's personal calendars, coordinated rides and meals, and planned flexible events like what day to shop.  That meeting never took less than an hour, and sometimes took two or three.  It was a huge source of contention, but also unavoidable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I tell you this is now that my wife and I have smartphones, our calendars are always synced with each other.  This is so much nicer that I can't imagine not wanting my kids as part of the same system.  Also, there are things like family chat channels and GPS tracking apps that would be useful.  Obviously that opens up some potential concerns, and we might have a dumb phone as a backup in case of rule breaking or whatever, but I think in general the benefits would outweigh the risks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind you don't necessarily have to go straight from no cell phone to unfettered access to one.  Maybe at first it can be restricted to only calling parents.  Maybe you check it out to him like a librarian only for certain occasions until he proves himself.  Just make sure your rules and their consequences are extremely clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-09-26T20:40:35.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6164" CreationDate="2012-09-26T20:44:19.107" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an interesting question and one I have pondered off and on even though my oldest is only 4 and a few years off before we even start the cell phone discussion.  An interesting article &lt;a href=&quot;http://ellington-somers.patch.com/articles/kids-and-cellphones-a-good-idea-or-a-bad-idea&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; talks about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most moms surveyed for the article indicated that the primary reasons for getting their kids cell phones were:  safety, security, and convenience, and the average age ranged from 12 to 16--though one mom said that her kids had a cell phone in elementary school that they shared, and that they got their own phones when they got to middle school. They also made a valid point which is that pay phones are becoming less and less common, and one mom mentioned that as a parent it is our responsibility to teach our kids about technology and how to use it appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to consider how responsible/mature your child is in addition to really considering whether or not a cell phone is vital.  If your child is going to lose a phone every time they get one, then it's not going to do them much good.  Are you going to be getting text messages from your child when they should be in class?  Does your child participate in after school activities which necessitates being able to get in touch with you easily in the event of a cancellation or schedule change?  Is your child a latch-key kid?  When it comes to deciding about the phone/usage:  Are you going to require your child to pay for the phone/usage?  Are they going to need a job to do that or be required to pick up extra chores around the house to cover their share?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know that elementary schoolers care so much about the type of phone they have.  The &quot;cool&quot; factor is simply that they &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; a phone at that age (maybe I'm wrong).  Certainly by the time they get to middle school peer pressure is going to kick in and they're going to care a lot more about the type of phone they have.  I've had students that had simple pay-as-you-go phones and I've had students with iPhones.  Most of my students texted WAY more than they actually talked on the phone, and most of them had unlimited texting.  That is the primary method of communication between kids these days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite honestly, sometimes I question why &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; have smartphone.  Does your kid really need to be able to do more than make phone calls/send and receive texts?  Ask me how much time I spend on Facebook. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-09-26T20:44:19.107" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6164" CreationDate="2012-09-27T03:40:36.393" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every kid is different, and you know your child best, so think about your child: at what age do you think your child is ready for the responsibility? Now let me give you this counter-intuitive bit of advice: get your kid the cell phone at least one year earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to keep in mind is that, as parents, it is our job to teach our children about this kind of thing. We want to always be challenging our children to grow as individuals. If you wait until your child is already well-prepared, you miss out on the opportunity and privilege of teaching your child how to handle that class of challenge.  Worse, you've instead ceded that task to others who don't have the same goals you do. For example, if they learn how to use the phone from friends, one of the first things discovered will be how to use it to keep information from their parents. By putting it out there earlier, it will be much easier to guide the child to learn good behavior, even if a few mistakes are made early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3259" LastActivityDate="2012-09-27T03:40:36.393" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2402" CreationDate="2012-09-27T03:52:32.037" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is probably too late now, but I wanted to add another option in hopes you still have a chance to make a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This child &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; professional counseling. The parents have no interest in obtaining it. However, their ability to maintain their standard of living depends on a babysitter. In other words, if you are really willing to leave, they need you a little more than you need them. It means potentially staying with the family, but you do have some leverage that you could use to try to help the child in a meaningful way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you do that is to show up for your next appointment with a list of phone numbers in your hand. Before entering the house, you give the list to the parent and tell them you are turning around and walking away unless they call a counselor and make an appointment there in front of you. They can find someone else to watch the children that day, work or not. No warning... put them on the spot, so they only way they can possibly have a sitter ready is to meet your demand. If they don't call, you leave, and you're no worse off than you would be with the other recommendations here. Perhaps a bit of blackmail about reporting the child will help, though I'd avoid that if at all possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably the parent will call, because it's their easiest option. The risk is that they'll do it to keep you in the house right now, and will just find a new sitter as soon as they have a spare minute. You want to make sure they follow through, so if they do call, make sure you know who they called, and make sure they give the office a release so that you can follow up that the child and parent actually attended the appointment. Failure to attend will also result in you leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, this probably won't work. It's likely the parent will make the call, but then find a new sitter before the next day. But it's the kids' (all three of them) only chance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3259" LastEditorUserId="3259" LastEditDate="2012-09-27T13:41:34.957" LastActivityDate="2012-09-27T13:41:34.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6164" CreationDate="2012-09-27T07:28:41.730" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I may be going against public opinion here, but I think that there is very little compelling reason for a child to have a mobile phone. I also don't see it as an essential for an adult - which probably explains my approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite many of their schoolmates having phones my kids have no need for one. Arranging to meet their friends somewhere teaches them to plan in advance and also to have a fallback plan if the first one fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, it means the parents seem to be in the loop a little more, as friends will come to the door, rather than just phoning, which gives me a little assurance over who they are playing with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there has been the odd occasion when we have had to issue a phone - when they are away travelling with friends, or away at a competition where we don't know the finishing time and we aren't sure they can borrow a phone to let us know when they are finished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For that purpose we do have a very old nokia that has a battery life of weeks, a pay-as-you-go SIM with £5 on it and no internet functionality. It has our numbers and emergency numbers programmed in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-09-27T07:28:41.730" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6164" CreationDate="2012-09-27T12:58:38.133" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a daughter and she is 7 now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I made a decision to buy her a cellphone when she is going to get out alone.&#xA;I think this is the only criteria that  makes sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things  may  be considered, but she only needs a mobile if she is out of home alone and in this case she really needs one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which one? The cheapest one possible to not have a drama when lost or stolen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3262" LastEditorUserId="3269" LastEditDate="2012-09-28T18:16:29.213" LastActivityDate="2012-09-28T18:16:29.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6172" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6173" CreationDate="2012-09-27T13:41:08.917" Score="4" ViewCount="4439" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 month old is capable of rolling both front-to-back and back-to-front.  She can also sit fairly well when place in the sitting position, although she cannot get to that position on her own.  Looking forward to future gross motor skills milestones I would like to provide her the opportunity to acheive what she needs to acheive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I read about crawling, in all its variants, I read that encouraging tummy time is essential.  My daughter simply won't do tummy time.  I place her on her stomach with an enticing toy and she grabs the toy and rolls over to her back.  After spending a day rolling onto her stomach she has simply stopped.  She has no desire to be on her stomach.  She'll happily play on her back, side, or seated, however.  I do place toys out in front of her when she is seated or to her side just out of reach when she is lying down to try and encourage her to reach.  When seated she will reach; when lying she usually won't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to push my daughter, but I do want to provide her an environment where she can develop valuable skills.  What should I do for her play to help her move forward with being able to move to a sitting position on her own, crawling (or creeping, scooting, slithering, etc.), pulling up, standing, cruising, and walking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T14:06:03.367" Title="7 month old will no longer play on her stomach" Tags="|infant|development|gross-motor-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6172" CreationDate="2012-09-27T13:55:07.900" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your daughter doesn't want to stay on her tummy then she's not going to, it's simple as that and there's not a thing you can do about it. Once babies learn to roll around it's up to them. All you can do is make it a safe environment with lots of good things to play with then let them get on with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for why she doesn't want to be on her tummy who knows? She may have a stomach ache, or maybe she's sore from spending lots of time on her front before. Maybe she wants to have more eye contact with you, or maybe she just doesn't feel like it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to obsess on it, just let her develop in her own time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-09-27T13:55:07.900" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6174" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6175" CreationDate="2012-09-27T14:09:36.757" Score="6" ViewCount="616" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine brought up a pet dog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His 8 year daughter daily played with the dog and used to treat it as her friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, the dog died, and now the daughter of my friend daily asks about that dog, any ideas to comfort the daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3133" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-24T05:37:48.080" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T02:40:39.673" Title="How can we comfort a child after the loss of her pet?" Tags="|primary-schooler|pets|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6174" CreationDate="2012-09-28T08:12:26.527" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The tried and tested method that seems to have been the standard amongst all my friends when they were kids is that the pet has gone to a farm out in the country where they have a great time chasing animals etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is all very well, and simple when the child is young, but once they get up to 7 or 8, I am of the opinion that it is better to start being honest and discuss life, especially if they have elderly grandparents - coming to terms with the loss of a pet can help them prepare emotionally for the loss of a family member.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;@oɔɯǝɹ's comment about something to remember the pet by, such as a picture has great value here: the message to the child being that although things change and pets don't last forever, you can remember them and still carry on with life...possibly even getting another pet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-09-28T08:12:26.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6177" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-28T13:16:15.337" Score="1" ViewCount="487" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2305/why-does-my-child-eat-so-slowly&quot;&gt;Why does my child eat so slowly?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very slow distracted procrastinating eater. Going to start time limits this weekend, but how long for say a sandwich or bowl of cereal and how much longer for a roast dinner? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We will explain what we are going to do before we start it. What do parents think about how to go about it - five minute warning before time is up, or any other suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3220" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-09-28T14:27:55.950" Title="How long a time limit should we set on meals for 6yr old very slow eater?" Tags="|primary-schooler|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2012-09-28T19:12:26.067" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6177" CreationDate="2012-09-28T14:27:55.950" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not make a table of &quot;X minutes of time allowed for eating food Y&quot; because that sounds like &lt;em&gt;working on the symptoms&lt;/em&gt; rather than looking at the actual cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are already several related questions with some answers that might be useful to you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3284/how-do-i-get-an-easily-distracted-5-year-old-to-eat-more&quot;&gt;How do I get an easily distracted 5 year old to eat more?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2305/why-does-my-child-eat-so-slowly&quot;&gt;Why does my child eat so slowly?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3768/how-can-i-stop-my-4-5yr-old-daughter-from-playing-while-eating&quot;&gt;How can I encourage my 4.5 year old daughter to eat without needing tons of time along with play?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the answers have one thing in common: Decide in advance how long the entire meal should take, and when the time is up, move on to the next activity in the day (or evening). Yes, the child will most likely still be hungry: that experience only needs a few repetitions before the lesson is learned. Don't worry, this won't hurt the child if it's just a couple of times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-09-28T14:27:55.950" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-09-28T14:27:55.950" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2012-09-28T19:38:02.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are saying that it all started ~6 mo ago, it means before she was good?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can mean that there is a reason to make her to change the behavior. Sometimes kids rebel to show that they are bothered by something and this something is troubling them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think if something major has changed in your daughter's life. May be she is lacking your/father's attention(let's say you are working overtime)? May be her grandma left and she misses her? Or some troubles she is going through at school/with friends that you don't know. Think it over - what has changed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to awesome advises by Kramii:   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First of all you are wonderful mother.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Second thing - all kids need love and attention, that's the best cure.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Third thing, be consistent. Kids need routine and discipline. There are tons of books&#xA;on this topic. as example &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0307341607&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2012-09-28T19:38:02.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6109" CreationDate="2012-09-29T01:50:05.003" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some kids are more into toys at this age than others; my 1 year old daughter can spend hours just playing in a pile of toys, but my son at that age would bore quickly.  He was more into physical activities (still is).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at 15 months some kids may not have developed the skills for &quot;pretend&quot; and &quot;assembly&quot; that a lot of toys require to get the most fun out of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a look at the toy box.  How long have those toys been there?  Maybe the box needs a refresh!  When your son isn't around, sort out all the toys he doesn't play with and put them in storage.  Then bring them back in a couple months, and they'll be fresh and new (and fondly remembered).  Plus it constrains the amount of junk you have to pick up when they decide to dump and scatter.  ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also try looking for &quot;toys&quot; around the house.  Box lids, ribbons from presents, ragged t-shirts, plastic food containers, tattered magazines, an old computer keyboard...  My kids spend more total hours playing with this kind of stuff than with their own toys.  The nice thing is that once they grow bored with these toys, they can just be chucked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-09-29T01:50:05.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6183" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6374" CreationDate="2012-09-29T07:10:03.677" Score="5" ViewCount="874" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read all over that kids like routine but how can you tell if they are &quot;over scheduled&quot;? But I also read it is good to take your kids out and &quot;explore&quot;. I have lately been taking my child to story time at various libraries. I don't want to &quot;over schedule&quot; her but for my sanity as well, it is good to get out of the house. I am planning a lot of weekend excursions (zoo, parks, festivals) so the thought crept into my head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School days, when I think about it, are pretty long days, 5 days a week so it makes me think that kids can handle a pretty rigorous schedule. Do the rules/guidelines/old wives' tales change for younger kids (I.e. toddlers and kids under 4) who have less of an attention span?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2012-10-27T00:18:50.690" Title="Signs a child is &quot;over scheduled&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|education|play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6183" CreationDate="2012-09-29T20:15:59.060" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The signs would be that the child is not happy with the number of activities or is not doing as well as they should do due to lack of time or energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, the child should be able to do as many activities as they want subject to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the child wanting to do them&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the parents being willing to pay for them&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the parents willing to drive them around&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;it not affecting the time of their siblings&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;it not affecting their school work&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter does basketball, karate and language school. We chose basketball to teach her team spots and karate to teach her discipline. As parents, we are the limiting factor. She'd also like to do music but we have no time for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of our friends' kid was doing 6 activities a week and loved every one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An other does two (football and basketball) and is great at both (potential professional) but will have to choose between them since at his level he needs concentrate on one to be his best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think some people (especially the media) overstate the effects of over scheduling. I wish my parents had provided more after-school activities back in the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-09-29T20:15:59.060" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6185" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-30T03:03:04.850" Score="6" ViewCount="1511" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am reading the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0609806939&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;P.E.T.&lt;/a&gt; about communicating with children and there is a question. How would you address the situation when your 15 year old child comes home and tells you he isn’t interested in college because there are lots of ways to get ahead in the world?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1863" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-01T12:22:22.920" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T10:41:40.630" Title="How do you respond to a teenager who declares that he isn't interested in college?" Tags="|school|teen|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6187" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-30T04:03:18.253" Score="2" ViewCount="242" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am reading the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0609806939&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;P.E.T.&lt;/a&gt; about communicating with children and there is a question: an 11 year old asks:&#xA;“How come I have to take care of the yard and take the garbage out? Rey’s parents do not make him do all that stuff!  You're not fair! Kids shouldn’t have to do that much work. Nobody has to do all the stupid things I have to do”.  How do you address this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1863" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-01T12:43:48.153" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T01:17:32.440" Title="How do you get a primary schooler to continue doing chores when their friends don't have to?" Tags="|primary-schooler|chores|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6188" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-30T08:37:26.990" Score="3" ViewCount="606" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up with Tom &amp;amp; Jerry classics (e.g &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCpdjaT46DY&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCpdjaT46DY&lt;/a&gt;) which I find really healthy and full of simple and pure emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally feel that cartoons of today are bloated and dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, should I control what cartoons the kids watch? Should I expose them to what I think are quality cartoons?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3276" LastActivityDate="2017-02-17T15:31:02.170" Title="Should I expose them to cartoons of the past?" Tags="|pre-schooler|television|personality|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6188" CreationDate="2012-09-30T10:47:50.490" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some  people object to older cartoons as being politically incorrect, violent etc, but I agree with you that the classics contained useful messages about good and evil, right and wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, many modern cartoons also bring a good message, so I would suggest allowing them to see cartoons from any era but just check age appropriateness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-09-30T10:47:50.490" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6187" CreationDate="2012-09-30T10:59:09.170" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Questions like this come up all the time, and my general approach once they are at this sort of age is to have a fairly adult conversation with them to discuss:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All the chores that need doing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How many my things wife and I have to do - including things like working 10 hours a day to pay for house, education, cars etc... as well as chores like tidying the childrens' rooms which should be the responsibility of the child when they are older than about 5 years of age.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fairly splitting the load&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The different responsibilities different families have - maybe both parents work, maybe neither. Maybe they have high income, maybe low...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This usually leads to grudging acceptance that everyone should muck in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can also be worthwhile talking about how much children need to do in underdeveloped countries just to survive, so children in developed countries are actually pretty spoilt when compared to global standards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids know that as they get older the expectations we have of how they can help change - so my eldest now helps with mowing the lawn whereas my youngest helps feed the cat. Chores appropriate for their ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-09-30T10:59:09.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6185" CreationDate="2012-09-30T11:05:10.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age you don't necessarily need to force the idea of college - but I would heartily recommend encouraging them to do enough to keep their options open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try highlighting other occasions they have changed their mind, and point out that as long as they keep their grades high in school, when it comes to a decision time about college at least they will have the option of deciding to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also discuss the different career paths likely through gaining a degree or through going into business straight away. There have definitely been some success stories - highly motivated individuals who work their way up to top roles in companies - but in general your best plan for gaining a high salary is to go to a good college/university. Have a read of &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/q/10761/619&quot;&gt;this question on Skeptics&lt;/a&gt; which discusses the cost/value of going to college for Americans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2012-09-30T11:05:10.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6192" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-09-30T17:48:29.523" Score="6" ViewCount="9045" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 17-month-old who isn't talking yet. Our pediatrician says that if he isn't talking by 18 months then they'll do a hearing test. But that can't possibly be the problem since we know he understands us, in fact a month ago we went through the words that we absolutely know that he understands and we stopped counting at a hundred. We know he can hear and we know that he understands a lot. But he's not calling us mommy and daddy. He vocalizes a lot and can repeat what we say pretty well, so if we say &quot;mommy&quot; he'll do a pretty good job of that, and things that start with &quot;d&quot; he can create a pretty creative vocalization of a word that starts with a &quot;d&quot;, sometimes accidentally getting the exact word right. But, that's not &quot;talking&quot;, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been assuming that to talk means to use the words to communicate instead of pointing, grunting, or using the his small subset of sign language. What do the books mean when they say &quot;can say a few words&quot;? What do doctors mean? And how did you define this milestone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1036" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:08:15.950" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T13:08:15.950" Title="What does it mean to &quot;say a few words&quot;?" Tags="|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6192" CreationDate="2012-09-30T18:36:12.630" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/not_talk.html&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; article, by the time your child is 18 months old, he/she should have a vocabulary of about 20 words, and a vocabulary of 50 words by the time he/she is 2.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infant-development/AN01026&quot;&gt;THIS&lt;/a&gt; article from the Mayo Clinic says that, really, by the &lt;em&gt;end&lt;/em&gt; of 18 months (so closer to 19 months, really) your child may only say 8-10 words and that this is considered normal as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also possible that your son &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; starting to use words, but you just don't understand them yet.  It can take awhile for a child's speech to really catch up and be clear enough for even his parents to understand.  Some letters are just classically difficult for children to pronounce so your son might be attempting to speak but is merely misunderstood because of his perfectly natural inability to make the &quot;L&quot; sound or the &quot;th&quot; sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This article on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-development/toddler-language.aspx&quot;&gt;what to expect&lt;/a&gt; website points out that children who are from bilingual homes tend to be late-talkers, but quickly catch up once they begin and become fluent in both languages.  This same article seems to suggest that if your child can understand what is being spoken and respond to it, then expressive language is probably right around the corner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I can tell you that one of my nephews was a child who understood perfectly, but didn't speak.  His parents got him involved with a specialist and his language skills progressed dramatically!  He's 5 now and you would never guess that he'd ever needed to see a specialist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think, for now, I'd focus on what they tell all parents to focus on:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No baby talk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to your child &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt;.  Narrate your day, talk about what you're doing, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage your child to say words and applaud attempts to say words even if there's a gross mispronunciation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read to your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask your child questions that require more than a yes or no answer.  Like, &quot;Henry, do you want the blue car or the red car?&quot;.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stretch the truth (from the What to Expect website): Repeat your child’s words and expand on them. If he replies “App-uh!” to your remark about slicing one, answer “Yes, this is an apple! We’re going to eat this shiny red apple for lunch.” Add those adjectives!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record, it sounds like your son is right on the cusp of talking, but the precursor to using words for communication is repeating those words.  There's a lot that's involved in talking...muscles that have to coordinate to make the right sound, the understanding that objects have names, and the realization that using the right word can get you something.  If he's still only repeating words by his next doctor's appointment, I would simply explicitly tell the doctor:  He will repeat words that we say, but he isn't using words for the purpose of communication yet, then see what the doctor says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-09-30T18:36:12.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6185" CreationDate="2012-09-30T19:16:31.117" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few things could work together to break through to them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put it to them to figure out a budget for independent living.  Get them familiar with costs for home, home/rental insurance, HOA (they may need to pay one), car, car insurance, food, utility, entertainment, wedding expenses, costs of child healthcare, sports, books, at least 2 children (many do, maybe their partner wants 2-3), &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Learn about their vision for their 'career'.  Work with them to understand income levels and what is a realistic life within those thresholds.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Learn if they have entrepreneurial aspirations.  How many entrepreneurs with zero-education had the same financial &amp;amp; social background of you/your family.  What kinds of businesses did they start.  What's the stats on eventual success.  Get involved with a local biz chamber of commerce or a startup incubator for advice to the child – any place where you can meet people who will be mentors.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3279" LastActivityDate="2012-09-30T19:16:31.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6188" CreationDate="2012-09-30T19:29:19.180" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a unique question, since this is among the first generations to have 'new cartoons'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cartoons are narrative just a real as any printed narrative - classic or contemporary.  We should feed our kids good brain-food.  (The novelty on a cartoon for the sake of animation = amazing is now long past)  Your kids are/will be given a reading list in school of acceptable and important narratives.  Cartoons should be the same.  Utilize the idea of 'good / bad' narratives to teach them the important values.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be conscientious of the way narratives are placed in context to current culture.  You want to raise your with timeless ethics - not with a &lt;em&gt;perceptual schema&lt;/em&gt; that is outdated and unusable for current society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3279" LastActivityDate="2012-09-30T19:29:19.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6188" CreationDate="2012-09-30T23:28:12.897" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with any TV show, you should pick and choose. In my opinion, modern cartoons like &quot;Jane and the Dragon&quot; and &quot;Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks&quot; offer a lot more than Bugs Bunny. My 4-year old loves cartoons like &quot;Shaun the Sheep&quot; and &quot;Fireman Sam&quot;. On the other side, I find cartoons like &quot;Ben 10&quot; tedious and violent so we tend to avoid those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-09-30T23:28:12.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6192" CreationDate="2012-10-01T00:59:20.590" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We though our son could hear perfectly too. We could communicate effectively with him, he seemed to hear us from across the room and seemed to have no problems. When he started childcare, we found that he did not learn as much as we'd expected from the group environment and would often ignore the kindergarten teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By chance, a doctor mentioned to us that his breathing sounds strained. Upon inspection, she said his tonsils were over sized and referred us to a specialist. When the tonsils of over sized, the adenoids are often large as well. This can cut off access to the Eustachian tube. Over time, the ears fill with liquid. Our son was found to be essentially deaf below 30db. One-on-one he was fine but he had troubles in a group environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had his tonsils and adenoids removed, his ears drained and had gromits inserted into his eardrums. Since then, his vocabulary, learning and cooperation has improved enormously. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on my experience, it is worth a hearing test. Find a place that deals with infants as it is a specialised skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-10-01T00:59:20.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6198" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6214" CreationDate="2012-10-01T03:01:30.227" Score="5" ViewCount="843" Body="&lt;p&gt;At least in my state (Washington), the child care licensing is such that most preschools are only able to care for a child for 4 hours per day. I found a couple of places that do preschool and then childcare on site, but those are very rare. Most small, appealing programs are half-day only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this mean that most of these programs are only suitable for stay-at-home parents? What are the other options? A part-time nanny? Maybe there are other approaches?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3118" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-02T13:39:15.810" LastActivityDate="2019-03-02T13:39:15.810" Title="Are most half-day pre-school programs for stay-at-home parents, or are there options?" Tags="|daycare|working-parents|babysitting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6185" CreationDate="2012-10-01T12:38:41.637" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, clarify &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he isn't interested in college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saying that there's lots of ways to get ahead in the world sounds like it is only a small part of his thought process.  The existence of multiple options isn't reason to dismiss the most popular option, and it is possible that he's really using this as an excuse to cover some anxieties (such as concern he might not get accepted to a college of his choice, over the difficulty of a college curriculum, or even paying for college).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't have a clear idea of what he'd like to do &lt;em&gt;instead&lt;/em&gt; of college, focus on why he thinks college is the wrong choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, however, he has a clear plan for what he'd like to do instead, try to be as objective as possible.  The truth is that you absolutely do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; need a college degree.  However, it does make some goals much more difficult to obtain, and will close off other options and opportunities entirely for you.  Try to judge how realistic his plan sounds, and keep in mind that it isn't necessarily a problem to delay going to college a year or two.  College can be a fall-back option if his plan doesn't pan out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work through his alternate plan with him, and discuss strengths, weaknesses, and, most importantly, risks and fallback plans in case of the unexpected.  Going straight into a entrepreneurial enterprise may be a good option if he has a good idea, and has thought it through, but its still a risk, and he should know what to do if he finds that his business is failing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A word of caution: &quot;I'm not ready for college&quot; might not sound like a good reason, but it really is.  College can be a really expensive excuse to &quot;get off the leash&quot; and experience some new levels of independence and freedom from parental rules and oversight.  If he feels he's not ready to go living on his own, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; handle a simultaneous increase in studying and educational workload, don't dismiss this!  You're better off coming up with a plan to transition him to be better able to handle these factors, rather than dumping tens of thousands of dollars (or equivalent currency or loans) into a year or two of unsupervised partying that will result in a low GPA or worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-10-01T12:38:41.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6188" CreationDate="2012-10-01T13:11:46.977" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see two main questions here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Should I let my kids watch the older cartoons I grew up with?&quot; (what you consider &quot;quality cartoons&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Should I control what my kids watch?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I see no problem with sharing the cartoons of your childhood with your children.  I, too, watched &lt;em&gt;Tom and Jerry&lt;/em&gt; as a kid.  Through the 20/20 vision of hindsight, I see just how over-the-top the violence of that show is (much like another of my childhood favorites: &lt;em&gt;The Three Stooges&lt;/em&gt;).  However, when I saw that my daycare provider includes &lt;em&gt;Tom &amp;amp; Jerry&lt;/em&gt; in her lineup of &quot;acceptable&quot; TV, I was more amused than concerned.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Violence in television has long been a hot topic for parents, but &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/410/is-there-any-research-on-the-effects-of-pg-cartoon-violence-on-small-children&quot;&gt;I personally don't find it to be a major concern&lt;/a&gt;.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of more concern to me is the &lt;em&gt;pace&lt;/em&gt; of the shows.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/watching-spongebob-makes-preschoolers-slower-thinkers-study-finds/story?id=14482447#.UGmR8JjA9LO&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Fast scene switches&lt;/a&gt; concern me more than cartoon violence (so far my son &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLFVEk1Ow3Y&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;has not hit me over the head with a mallet&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in short, if you have fond memories of certain shows from your childhood, by all means share them with your children.  Particularly if you do so by sitting down &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; them to watch the shows, and talk about how much you enjoyed them as a child, while reminiscing with them about other parts of your childhood (in other words, use it as an opportunity to &lt;strong&gt;interact&lt;/strong&gt; with your children, rather than passively viewing the shows!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to controlling what your kids watch, I'd say &quot;Yes!&quot;... followed by the qualification &quot;as much as you can, while you can&quot;.  At some point (and this point varies depending upon your circumstances; primarily the amount of exposure your child has to other children) you simply won't be able to fully control their television habits.  Whether it is that they are simply focused on being able to watch a show their friends are watching, or that they are watching television while you are not there to supervise, eventually they'll be watching content outside of your ability to control it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2607/is-there-any-consensus-among-researchers-concerning-the-effects-of-watching-tele&quot;&gt;strongest risks&lt;/a&gt; associated with television viewing coincide with the earliest ages of development, the longer you can exert guidance over their viewing habits, the better.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2017-02-17T15:31:02.170" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6201" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6203" CreationDate="2012-10-01T14:06:02.627" Score="2" ViewCount="12030" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7 month old baby who has been a distracted nurser since about 3 months.  She continues to gain weight appropriately, so she does get enough to eat, but getting her to eat what she needs is a challenge.  I had been doing frequent (every 1 1/2-2 hours) shorter (about 7-10 minutes) feedings.  I tried a quiet, darkened room to get her to focus, but she will still eat well for a minute or two until she's not very hungry any more, then eat for a few seconds, look around, eat for a few seconds, look around, and finally refuse to re-latch and pull away to look around.  A nursing cover or blanket over her just annoys or entertains her - she'll pull it off to look around or treat it like I'm playing peek-a-boo with her.  I tried giving her something to hold onto like a soft cloth or my finger.  At night she'll eat (with more pauses in her sucking) for up to 20 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently the distraction has gotten worse and she is increasing the frequency and length of night feeding.  At first I attributed it to teething, but her gums no longer seem to be bothering her and the behavior is continuing.  I am currently attempting to space her feedings out to see if getting her hungrier will help, as well as decreasing her solid intake (about 3 oz. at 2 feedings up until this point).  She has gone from insistently demanding food during the day to just wanting to play all day and insistently demanding food during the night (waking up screaming and not being calmed by anything other than nursing even when she knows how to get her pacifier and settle herself back to sleep and does at some wakings).  She's not reverse cycling because she sleeps much more at night than during the day, but she seems to be getting an awful lot of her calories at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm fine with feeding her at night as needed, but I would like to encourage her to get the majority of her calories during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2012-10-01T14:14:40.783" LastActivityDate="2012-10-02T02:04:07.167" Title="What works to get a distracted nurser to eat during the day?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6201" CreationDate="2012-10-01T14:45:09.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she's not actually hungry. If you have added solid food (as is appropriate to do after 6 months), then your child will be much less hungry for milk. It's normal for them to cut down their milk at that point, and it's a good thing. Don't stress over it, just cut down the number of feeding sessions, and don't feed at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-01T14:45:09.870" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6201" CreationDate="2012-10-02T02:04:07.167" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;On one hand, I agree with GdD that she doesn't sound like she's really that hungry.  Could she have a slight case of acid reflux?  Perhaps she's ceasing her feeding because the reflux is making her uncomfortable.  Contrary to popular thought, all babies with acid reflux are not necessarily unhappy, cranky, or even chronic spitter-uppers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the flip-side of that, some babies are just snackers.  It sucks.  My daughter was a snacker who would eat every 2 hours or so practically around the clock, never more than a few ounces at a time.  If she's been this way since she was tiny, you're probably not going to be able to get her to change now.  Additionally, at this age, babies are way more interested in everything else but what you want them to be doing.  She's able to see better, she's able to interact more with you and her environment, and that's what she's going to want to do even if you really want her to be nursing instead.  This also means that as soon as she determines that she's &quot;full&quot;, she's going to want to get down and play as most 7-month-olds have mastered sitting and are working towards crawling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are right though, until your child is at least a year old, their primary nutrition should be either formula or breastmilk.  And it is perfectly appropriate for children at that age to wake in the middle of the night to eat, but children at this age are more than capable of going all night &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; eating as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you need to just back off the solids altogether for now.  There's no rule that says kids have to eat solids starting at 6 months.  Unless she seems &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; into the solids (some kids take more to solids than others), there's no harm in removing them from her diet and re-introducing them again in a month or so.  It sort of does make sense that adding solids to her diet might mess up her nursing schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or...perhaps try nursing before feeding her solids.  You might be doing this all ready, but this way you ensure she's getting the breastmilk she &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; needs before giving her the solids.  So maybe for breakfast you nurse then you immediately put her in her high chair and see if she's interested in some cereal or whatever you're feeding her mixed with some breastmilk.  If she doesn't eat any of the solids, it's ok, but if she does then that's ok, too.  Repeat at lunch time if you're doing solids twice a day.  I wouldn't even bother with dinner solids at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope some of that helps and that you get some sleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-10-02T02:04:07.167" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6204" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6205" CreationDate="2012-10-02T20:41:45.447" Score="10" ViewCount="449" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child throws a ball inside the house hard enough to knock over some furniture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He knows he's not supposed to throw the ball inside, so there's a punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is &quot;taking the ball away for a week&quot; an effective punishment for a child under 5, considering that they seem to have shorter attention spans?  After an hour they'll probably forget they ever even had the ball (unless it was really important to them), so bringing it back after a week will be more like a &lt;em&gt;reward&lt;/em&gt; (hey, remember this? You can have it back now) than a punishment..?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2012-10-02T22:20:41.493" Title="Is long-term punishment effective for children under 5?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6204" CreationDate="2012-10-02T22:20:41.493" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year-old remembers confiscated toys for a long time.  If he asks about it, we remind him why it was taken away.  If he doesn't ask about it for several weeks, we usually just give it away to goodwill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than just setting a time period, we put conditions on getting the toy back, so when he gets it back, the reward is justified.  For throwing a ball in the house, for example, we would say he can have it back when he goes a day without throwing any toys.  If a toy gets taken away because he was fighting over it, we say he can have it back when he goes a day without fighting over a toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was younger and his memory wasn't as good, we would remind him when we caught him breaking the condition:  &quot;Remember, you can't get your ball back until you stop throwing things in the house.&quot;  We'd also confiscate the new toy he was throwing.  Even a three year-old will eventually start to notice his toy collection dwindling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-10-02T22:20:41.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6154" CreationDate="2012-10-03T14:53:33.280" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A related way to think of this problem / situation is to learn more about your child's motivations.  What do they want - not just 'in life', but &lt;em&gt;in their heart&lt;/em&gt;.  Confronting them about 'drugs', or other projections of your own, will get in the way of their mind/self coming out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do they &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; know - about themselves &amp;amp; their abilities - that they would take a mind-altering/expanding drug to get in touch with themselves?  (or join a yoga class, an ideology club, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most kids won't face the thought that they're 'seeking themselves' - which I've often seen to be coming from the tendency of people that age to project.  They project themselves on the world &amp;amp; so do see their search for themselves.  Not all kids are this way, and some do it only for certain aspects of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must become part-psycholanalyst, without presenting yourself as such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're almost beyond the point where you can impress your values on them - so bet to know what values they've come to &lt;em&gt;lean toward&lt;/em&gt;.  Maybe you can inject enough &lt;em&gt;perspective&lt;/em&gt; that they can &lt;em&gt;alter themselves&lt;/em&gt; by the time they're mid-way through college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3279" LastActivityDate="2012-10-03T14:53:33.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6185" CreationDate="2012-10-03T15:31:33.590" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I heard this during listening to one of the parenting podcasts. And I think its a good way to deal with situation like this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents should put in their kids' heads that they have 3 options after school: college, work or army. And let them decide which way they want to choose.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess explanation of these three options should be done a bit before teen years, so they would accept it as an axiom.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise you will need to have long conversations on why not working/studying won't do any good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2012-10-03T15:31:33.590" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6208" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-03T15:33:21.203" Score="12" ViewCount="2836" Body="&lt;p&gt;Christmas time is looming and I am currently having a debate with a co-worker on the topic in the question title.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She believes that you should tell your child from a very early age that there are a number of different things that people believe about religion etc... Including the fact that Father Christmas is not real, and is simply made up by the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a firm believer that the child will eventually come to the realization by themself when they get to a certain age and will be happy to have had the whole 'Father Christmas Experience'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the general concensus on this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3286" LastActivityDate="2018-10-12T19:00:13.620" Title="Should a parent tell their child that father christmas is not real?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6208" CreationDate="2012-10-03T18:09:44.333" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;There isn't a consensus.  However, I wouldn't exactly say children come to the realization fully by themselves.  Someone has to confirm their suspicions, and it's probably better to be the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a lot of people who are &quot;happy to have had the experience,&quot; but I am not one of them.  My parents were not well off, so every Christmas I wondered what I had done to offend Santa such that he would bring better presents to kids I knew to be naughtier than myself.  I also resented my parents for only getting me practical gifts like new clothing, and didn't realize until I was much older how much they planned and sacrificed to make Christmas as special as possible for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So with our kids we take an approach of neither promoting nor denying.  They get gifts from Santa, but we don't make a big deal out of it.  You'll have to decide what balance to strike with your own children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-10-03T18:09:44.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2012-10-03T18:17:03.217" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has the same problem. She's four and didn't potty train until this year. I highly recommend Dr. Sears Baby Book for this kind of stuff. Love him or hate him on co-sleeping etc. on basic behavior stuff he has some great advice. We tried some of the things in the book. Here's what's working for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Breathe! Forget that they're 'too old' for this, and have compassion on yourself and them. You have to take the shame out, if they can't control it bribing compounds the problem they lose the prize and make you disappointed which will only cause their body to tense up the next time. Encourage them that it's okay they'll be able to figure out, and you'll help them. This made a big difference for my daughter emotionally and helped with the psychological side.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Realize that if he's been constipated for a long time it could take several WEEKS (according to Dr. Sears) for his colon to clear out and him to feel the urge to go in time, so try #3 for a long time and give him a pardon on the pants pooping. Also he could avoid the potty because his rectum hurts more when he sits, try to give him a stool to prop up his feet and take the tension of the sore area. Don't make him sit for hours if he's not feeling the urge he's not going to go. But when he's making that 'face' go immediately every time. You have to enforce the stop what you're doing habit. Using flaxseed oil has helped with the pain in general. The poops have been huge, but she's said they don't hurt, which is surprising.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To help clean out the colon I give my daughter the following breakfast or meal once a day at first and three times a week now to help her get more regular:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 tablespoon -- of organic cold-pressed flaxeed oil (Barlean's Plain unfiltered)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;4-8ozs -- of whole milk 6 active cultures vanilla yogurt (Stonyfield) (you want the extra cultures to prevent adding to the problem)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 drops - of red food dye (I know, but it hides the yellow from the flaxseed and my girl is picky) we named it magenta after blues clues you can also use strawberries or other fruit to mask the taste (slightly oily)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you can find the episode of Daniel Tiger where Prince Wednesday goes to the potty it has a great song that helps my daughter stop playing and go potty. I also 'extend' her play time by 5min etc. if she stops so she knows she's not losing time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She just went poop free on the panties this week!! Good luck! This too will pass! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3287" LastEditorUserId="1969" LastEditDate="2014-07-13T13:31:40.380" LastActivityDate="2014-07-13T13:31:40.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6154" CreationDate="2012-10-04T03:31:19.270" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of good answers already but I think there are still some important things to point out. This is one of the hardest challenges for a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;What type of drugs are we talking about?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are three groups of illegal drugs that are worth differentiating:&#xA;A) Alcohol, B) Weed, Hashish &amp;amp; Marijuana, C) prescription drugs and hard drugs. All three of those are illegal (depending on age and country) but I think they need different approaches. For now I'll assume this is restricted to alcohol and/or weed. If you suspect it's something worse, please seek professional help ASAP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Is my kid taking illegal drugs?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course he/she does at least at some point!! According to www.drugabuse.gov (US centric) 40% of all high schoolers got drunk 17% smoked weed just in the last month. The number of high school students that actually graduate without any exposure to alcohol or weed is vanishingly small. I know that all of my kids had exposure before graduating. I grew up in a different country a long time ago, but even then the picture was the same: Access to alcohol and weed was always there and most kids participated to some extend. But that's not a necessarily a bad thing: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;What is your goal?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you dive in here, please be clear about what you are trying to achieve. In an ideal world you child would never be taking any illegal (or legal) drugs for their entire live but a) this is not going to happen, and b) it's not your choice anyway and you have little or no control once they leave home. A better and more realistic goal could be the following: &lt;B&gt;&quot;teach my kid about the risks and rewards of drugs and enable them to make responsible decisions&quot; &lt;/B&gt;. This is very different from &quot;drugs are bad, don't take them&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end you want your child to become a responsible adult. Most responsible adults will occasionally engage in some sort of drug use (illegal or not), so they need to learn the tools of how to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;How do you do that?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep the communication lines open and keep judgement to a minimum. Be clear about the message but be realistic, honest, factual and by all means avoid hypocrisy. Don't tell your kids that alcohol is a terrible thing when you pour yourself a drink first thing you come home from work. Don't lie or be overly dramatic. A statement like &quot;you cannot smoke weed because it leads to addiction on hard drugs&quot; is simply not true and your kids know that already. Speak openly about what you know and what you don't know, do some research together if the kid is up to it, but be open enough to accept the results of your research. &#xA;Set some &quot;common sense&quot; rules: MIT for example allows alcohol in dorms but always a requires a &quot;party monitor&quot;: a person that is sober and pays attention and can intervene when things get out of hand. In general &quot;always have a person around that is clear headed and that you trust&quot;. &#xA;Allow for some &quot;training&quot;: In my opinion it's preferably for kids to have their first exposure at home in a safe environment than to wait until they are for example in college where things are much more dangerous. At some point they need to figure out what e.g. alcohol does (or doesn't) do to them and how they react to it, so it might as well happen when there is a safety net available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Legal Stuff&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many drugs are indeed illegal which means that you and your kid can get in trouble with the law. You and your child should be aware of the actual regulations and the potential consequences.  In Massachusetts for example, weed is actually less of a problem than alcohol. Weed under 1oz results in a citation and $100 fine. Alcohol, however, gets you often (but not always) in front of a judge with a significant chance of a criminal record. Again, it's important to do the research and stick with the facts and accept them, even if you personally feel otherwise. Do this with your kid together. Make sure he/she understands what the laws and the potential consequences are. Factually, not threatening. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Should you search your teenager's room?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heck yeah!!!. Here is why (which you should clearly explain to them): Depending on your local legislation even parents &amp;amp; siblings are at significant risk of legal exposure. If illegal drugs are found on your property, you may be legally responsible for this. If you end up in front of a judge and end up with fines, jail, or get a criminal record the whole family suffers. Most teenagers are NOT aware that storing some weed in their room or raiding the liquor cabinet with their buddies can result in serious legal consequences for the parents. You need to be very clear about this: &quot;Mike, we cannot have any weed in the house because if this gets out, I'm legally responsible and since my company has strong no-drug policy I will likely get fired. I really need to make sure&quot;. The teen is going to be annoyed, but they tend to be permanently annoyed anyway so what's the difference :-). Searches in my house were actually productive, did not harm the relationship long term and actually triggered some good discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3290" LastActivityDate="2012-10-04T03:31:19.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6208" CreationDate="2012-10-04T10:00:59.030" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No, don't tell.&lt;/strong&gt; Don't give away the secret, or break the illusion (or however you like to see it). As long as all is nice and fun, let the kid figure it out on his own. See this question for a discussion about it: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/608/when-do-kids-usually-stop-believing-in-santa-claus&quot;&gt;When do kids usually stop believing in Santa Claus?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Exception:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6209/27216&quot;&gt;Karl's answer&lt;/a&gt; poses a situation where it would make a lot of sense to &lt;strong&gt;do tell.&lt;/strong&gt; Perpetuating a myth is only nice and fun as long as it's enjoyable (enjoyment the primary purpose, in my view) so don't perpetuate the myth if it causes grief. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This presumes that you like the myth in the first place; if it's contrary to your beliefs or objectionable for any other reason, then of course you're not obliged to follow it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="27216" LastEditDate="2018-10-12T18:41:57.073" LastActivityDate="2018-10-12T18:41:57.073" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6208" CreationDate="2012-10-04T14:09:42.883" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer like anything having to do with religion and mythology is that there is no consensus, or even a right or wrong answer, there is only opinion. I think the majority of people on this forum (including myself) would agree with you that there's no good reason to pop the Santa Clause bubble and that the child will come to the realization that there is no such thing on his/her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are so many times that telling the child there is no father christmas is also the right thing to do, it's up to the judgement of the parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-04T14:09:42.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6198" CreationDate="2012-10-04T22:18:05.273" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the particular area I live, it actually seems the opposite, here it seems a very common configuration is preschool with &quot;extended day&quot; care options, and full-day daycares that feature a preschool curriculum, whereas preschools that are &quot;just&quot; preschools are harder to find. What kinds of preschools are common probably depends a lot on the demographics of your area, as well as potentially being swayed by the effects of various preschool regulations that vary from state to state. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So your options?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find a daycare you like that has a good preschool curriculum, or a preschool with extended day programs, longer than four hours, and use that for all of your childcare. If you have a spouse and you stagger your work start/end times, you may be able to make this work even if the extended day is less than a full 8-10 hour day program.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hire a nanny part-time who can pick up your child from school. If the preschool is a 2 or 3 day a week program, you could hire the nanny just to come on the preschool days, for the afternoons, and do daycare the other 2-3 days a week. This sort of schedule is actually quite desirable as a part time job for college students who are trying to make some money on the side but still have time to go to school full time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A nanny share is similar to the part-time nanny, except you also share the nanny with another family, so she would supervise both children, giving your child a playmate, and reducing your nanny costs by 30-50% since you split the bill for her time.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some daycares have transportation service to and from schools, where they pick your kids up in their bus after school. This may or may not be available for preschool (some places limit it to elementary schools), depending on the daycare and the location and schedule of your preschool.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One or both parents can (presuming this is possible based on your professions) work non-standard work hours such that daycare is not needed after preschool. You would have one spouse care for the child while the other works, and vice versa. This leads to less time the whole family spends together at once, and likely less time spent with one's spouse, but it cuts childcare costs considerably.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-10-04T22:18:05.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6208" CreationDate="2012-10-04T22:46:03.153" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I cannot speak to a general consensus.  From my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Relationships are based on trust.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Telling a child something that is not true will eventually be found out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And, even if subtly, this is an attack on true and absolute trust&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Which is an attack on the relationship iteslf&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child opts for similar behavior as they grow, you will not be able to believe them when they look at you in the eye and tell you something important.  This is very disheartening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore if &lt;em&gt;by your actions&lt;/em&gt; you teach your child that not everything you say is true, then why would they believe you about &lt;strong&gt;really important&lt;/strong&gt; things that are beyond the realm of their understanding at the time?    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things like god, drugs, education, safety -- these are topics that we wish our kids to trust us on, and later in life, understand why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3291" LastActivityDate="2012-10-04T22:46:03.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6208" CreationDate="2012-10-05T10:39:16.823" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard and made the argument myself that you shouldn't tell your kids about Santa Claus because it will eventually undermine their trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But now that I have two children, I have not disabused them of the idea that there is a Santa Claus.  Telling a child a story that is part of your culture's mythology is not the same thing as lying, not by a long shot.  My oldest son learned that Iron Man isn't real, and magic doesn't exist, and it hasn't affected our trust relationship at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is important is that &lt;strong&gt;we don't use Santa as a threat or promise to ensure good behavior in our household&lt;/strong&gt;, and also Santa only brings one present.  The rest come from family members.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will figure it out on his own, like when he realized that his favorite superheroes weren't real, and when he asks us point blank if Santa is a real person, we will answer truthfully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record, as the youngest of three, I never believed in Santa Claus, but I still remember the breathless anticipation of Christmas. I firmly believe that I was not warped from knowing that he didn't exist.  I remember my parents telling me that some kids really liked to believe he was real, so I should play along.  I'm guessing they didn't want me to be the kid who told all the other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-10-05T10:39:16.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6208" CreationDate="2012-10-05T13:57:52.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although something like this will always be subjective, and to each their own and all that, personally I feel you shouldn't tell them.  Number one reason ?  &lt;strong&gt;To stimulate their sense of imagination.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And (for the kids) it has nothing to do with religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3234" LastActivityDate="2012-10-05T13:57:52.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6208" CreationDate="2012-10-05T17:35:21.430" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've struggled with this myself.  I make every effort never to lie to my kids (boy 8, girl 5) and yet we tell them about Santa (and the Easter bunny, tooth mouse, etc.).  Some day I may have to justify this to them while getting upset with them for lying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, while I admit it is a lie, it's done with no intent to deceive or harm.  In fact, we do it only to add a bit of wonder and joy to their world.  They'll realize soon enough that the world can be a pretty dull and uninspiring place without an imagination.  I think its justifiable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides...  &lt;strong&gt;I still believe in Santa.&lt;/strong&gt;  I just believe in a different way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow-Up, 5 years later:  Both kids now know that Santa isn't real and while my daughter is a little sad at this she's never been upset at the deception and even feels a small victory at having figured it out.  I tell her to think of Santa as &quot;the spirit of giving&quot; and being good to others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2017-12-18T14:55:04.600" LastActivityDate="2017-12-18T14:55:04.600" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6164" CreationDate="2012-10-05T17:50:34.583" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think I'll let my kids have one of my old phones once they're able to pay the monthly bill themselves.  They have an allowance.  They can get a job if they want more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-10-05T17:50:34.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6220" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-05T18:01:10.663" Score="13" ViewCount="14856" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the proud father of a 1-year-old boy.  My wife and I love him to pieces!  A few months after his birth I suffered through a terrible bout of anxiety attacks.  Turns out it was just my way of reacting to such a drastic change in my life and it took me a few months to fully embrace my new reality.  While I was working through this period of anxiety, my wife let me take the lead on most of the activities with our son in the hopes that by jumping into the situation with both feet, my anxiety would lessen.  This was indeed the case and I can now look back on that time as a learning period and feel pride that I am now past it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the past 6 months, our son has been showing a very strong preference for me over his mother.  I have tried to remove myself from some of the daily tasks that we do with him and my wife has taken over in those, in the hopes that our son will see us both equally.  While his favouring of me has lessened, it most certainly has not disappeared.  This clearly hurts my wife who only wants to be treated equally and not be shunned by her little boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have mentioned that I am sure that this is a phase and that at some point I may well find myself on the outs with our boy and he will be stuck to her like glue.  While she understands this, it does nothing to help in the present and I hate seeing my wife suffer emotionally.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to mention as well that I went back to work full time one month after the birth of our son. My only time with him was at night and weekends. My wife stayed home for a full year and has only gone back to work recently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone gone through this type of situation and how long did it take to pass? How to handle it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3294" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-11T14:56:31.010" LastActivityDate="2023-10-09T15:46:30.720" Title="How to handle the situation with a 1-year-old preferring dad over mom with her suffering emotionally?" Tags="|toddler|parents|emotional-well-being|attachment|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6220" CreationDate="2012-10-05T21:07:42.533" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not to disrespect your wife, but she needs to get over it.  Kids will show preference towards the primary care-giver but this often flip-flops as they age.  It doesn't mean anything with regard to love or respect or even enjoyment of a particular parent.  My kids may be &quot;daddy's boy&quot; and &quot;daddy's girl&quot; but if they fall out of bed at night, it's &quot;mama&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-10-05T21:07:42.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2012-10-06T08:21:30.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Youtube is a wonderful option. You can dig through the site, hand select programming that supports your goals for your child and setup playlists.  The wonderful thing about playlists is that you can control the duration of the programming.  That way you can mix old and new.. amateur and professional.. without the constant commercial interruptions filing your kids heads with must-have new toys and sugar snacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3145" LastActivityDate="2012-10-06T08:21:30.840" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6220" CreationDate="2012-10-06T08:50:37.867" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all let me congratulate you on your approach. Many parents would run away and hide in that situation, to withdraw rather than engage, but you did the opposite which was to challenge yourself to become a good and involved father. There are a lot of people that could learn from your example! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your son, you cannot control these things, you cannot make children prefer something. It's like whether they like carrots or not, you can't influence that. All you can do it expose children to things and hope that they take to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure he loves is mom as much as his dad, it's not a love thing or a preference thing, he's just in a routine where he's used to you more than her. Change the routine so that you're doing things evenly and spending time equally and let things take their course. It may not happen exactly as you'd like but you can't control everything when it comes to raising a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents think that if their child isn't running into their arms every second that they aren't loved by their children, and that's simply not true. Often it's about parental perception more than anything else, and often it's the parent that need to change their view than the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-06T08:50:37.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6220" CreationDate="2012-10-06T13:33:52.723" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nearly &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; child prefers one parent over the other at that age.  It's nothing personal, and it happens regardless of how much time you spend.  My eldest two preferred me, and the youngest prefers her mom.  I went back to work after a week with all my children, and spent approximately the same amount of time doing the same kinds of activities with each.  My wife has been a full-time mother the entire time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how long it takes to &quot;pass,&quot; my eldest is 8 years old, with an approximate mentality of a 3 or 4 year old, and still has &lt;em&gt;strong&lt;/em&gt; preferences, but it is by activity now.  She wants me for feeding and playing, and mom for bathing and putting to bed.  Our almost 3 year old is still very much attached to mom, but treats me identically when mom is not around.  Our 5 year old got over his preference when he started talking a lot in complete sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It hurt my wife too.  Especially when something changes like going back to work or having another child, where she feels guilty for not being 100% available.  Eventually she came around to enjoying the excuse for giving me more child-related chores.  The best way to help her is to reassure her it's not because of anything she is doing.  Trying to &quot;fix&quot; it by giving her your part of the responsibilities is probably counterproductive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us, what helped a little was making a joke out of it, like my wife was encouraging the preference on purpose to make me take more chores.  I would ask the baby, &quot;Who do you want to change your poopy diaper?&quot; and try to get them to say mama.  My wife would try to get them to say dada, and then if they picked me it's more of a reward for my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-10-06T13:33:52.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6226" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6229" CreationDate="2012-10-07T03:17:43.607" Score="11" ViewCount="15647" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 1 year old son, and my wife is now pregnant with our second child. Our doctor says she should stop breastfeeding our son because she is pregnant, because it may harm the fetus. This makes me sad, as I would like her to continue breastfeeding our son until he is 2. Is what the doctor said true? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she indeed needs to stop we are planning on giving our son soymilk as replacement for the breastmilk. Are there any other good suggestions regarding this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited :&#xA;Hi guys, until now, my wife is still doing tandem nursing. But we are planning to stop breastfeeding my first son. It makes me very sad actually. But it must be done, because tandem nursing make my wife's healthy condition is becoming worse. When she often breastfeeding my first son, my wife is getting flu. And the flu is getting worse if she increase the frequency of breastfeeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="1122" LastEditDate="2012-11-11T14:47:06.343" LastActivityDate="2017-12-11T12:21:25.793" Title="My wife is pregnant again, does she need to stop breastfeeding our son?" Tags="|breastfeeding|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6226" CreationDate="2012-10-07T09:19:54.970" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is certainly an element of truth, as right now the developing fetus should be getting a wide range of nutrients and will lose out on some if your wife continues breastfeeding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three simple solution that keeps your 1-year old getting the right nutrition is to look at the follow-on or weaning milk products. These will have the right vitamins, minerals etc for your child, whereas soy milk won't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do decide to go the soy milk route, look into the supplements you may need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-07T09:19:54.970" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1886" CreationDate="2012-10-07T11:12:04.737" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may be true, but may work in the other that way you expect. &#xA;If you decide your child seems calm/active/stubborn while watching her/him in the womb it may affect the way you treat the child and what character features she/he develops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think &lt;em&gt;giving labels&lt;/em&gt; to the unborn child or any child at all is not proper thing to do. I think there's related situation described in one of this books (or a supplement to it):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0743525086&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Talk-Kids-Will-Listen-Listen/dp/0743525086&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0684824728&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Can-Learn/dp/0684824728&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The woman heard her child is stubborn during giving birth and one day she noticed it somehow affected the way she thought of him ever since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3299" LastActivityDate="2012-10-07T11:12:04.737" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6226" CreationDate="2012-10-07T22:37:12.707" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is generally &lt;strong&gt;no reason at all to stop breastfeeding&lt;/strong&gt; just because you are pregnant&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/breast-feeding-while-pregnant/AN01840&quot;&gt; [1&lt;/a&gt;] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-safe-to-breastfeed-during-pregnancy_8935.bc&quot;&gt;[2]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/breastfeeding-while-pregnant.aspx&quot;&gt;[3]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.llli.org/faq/bfpregnant.html&quot;&gt;[4]&lt;/a&gt;. As with all pregnancies, it is important that the mother keeps a healthy, well balanced diet. Her body will be perfectly able to produce milk as well as provide for the growing fetus inside her. The milk may change in taste due to the hormonal changes in her body, her nipples may become more sensitive than normal, and her supply may decrease slightly, but other than that things should be just as they always were. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only real worry should be if your wife is going through a high-risk pregnancy or is prone to miscarrige, as the nipple stimulation when nursing releases a small amount of the hormone oxytocin, which can cause very light uterine contractions. Generally, though, these will not harm the baby in any way, and for a normal pregnancy these are no reason to stop breastfeeding.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastEditorUserId="2394" LastEditDate="2012-10-09T08:42:57.970" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T08:42:57.970" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6230" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-08T04:20:12.617" Score="6" ViewCount="787" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was recently playing a board game with my 12 year-old son and wife of 18 years. We reached a point in the game where it was my turn to play while my wife could win the game with her next move. Because my son's turn was next, I did not block her, forcing him to block her or else lose the game.  I pointed this out to him, and he, half-jokingly, also declined to block her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I wound up in an argument about whether goal is to win, or to enjoy ourselves. Tempers escalated, and son ran crying to his room, etc, etc. We eventually realized that we had a fundamental difference of philosophy about playing games, and we both explained our points-of-view to my son, who seemed to understand our different opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would you have handled this situation?  Should we have to set the boundaries of whether we are playing &quot;serious&quot; or not at the start of the game?  Should I have just let it go?  Any other advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3300" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-10-08T07:13:33.507" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T00:50:40.337" Title="How can I avoid ugly arguments with my wife?" Tags="|pre-teen|parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6230" CreationDate="2012-10-08T07:26:34.007" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you answered your question in your last paragraph -- you need to agree on why you're playing the game in the first place. It seems you weren't aware of your different philosophies until now - okay, there's a first time for everything. Now that you know this, you can handle it: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you play each next game, agree what the point is. There are two ways to play games:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're playing one round in a game that is part of a long series then it makes sense to keep the rules strict, or else the total standing in the series doesn't mean anything. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;But if you're just doing a single round of a casual game, the emphasis is probably more on the enjoyment and the laughs. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a time and a place for both styles. I have been in similar situations and had big arguments over game rules and objectives. The lesson I've learned is that I need to know what the other players think the game is about: winning or having fun? I'm pretty laid back and would agree to bend the rules a little so as to give weaker players a second chance; for me, the primary purpose of a game is the social aspect, not the competition -- &lt;em&gt;unless&lt;/em&gt; the competition is agreed in advance! Then I will tell you &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; what the rules say, but then it's not fun anymore (and then why would I play?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; situation, I regret to tell you that the mistake is yours: if you don't block another player while you have the chance, and leave the decision to another player, then it's out of your hands and you must accept his decision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He decided to teach you this lesson, and you ended up learning even more than he intended! I would tell him that he did nothing wrong to make his parents angry. In fact what he did with his move was kinda cool -- praise him for this!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should focus on learning from this and looking forward to your next game. Chalk this last one up to experience and avoid blaming yourself or anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edit:&lt;/em&gt; So much for the specific situation. &lt;strong&gt;In more general terms&lt;/strong&gt; you should not let things escalate that much. A loud argument is usually not productive so when you realize that you are having an argument, it's incredibly useful to defuse the situation by backing down. You're not &quot;losing&quot; by doing that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially between spouses, one should always be able to say &quot;let's not get carried away&quot; and suggest to discuss it calmly, perhaps some other time when everybody has had some time to think it over. After all, your argument was not about any fundamental topic (just to name an emotional and serious example, think &lt;em&gt;circumcision&lt;/em&gt;). It can also be helpful to offer an apology for getting carried away - it takes two to argue, and one of them is you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-10-08T10:47:34.067" LastActivityDate="2012-10-08T10:47:34.067" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6232" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6253" CreationDate="2012-10-08T11:10:39.857" Score="5" ViewCount="14412" Body="&lt;p&gt;What precautions should I take to make it so my son does not become a games addict as he grows.  I know what I have lost playing games for so many years when I was young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4+ year old son (will be 5 in two months) loves to play video games. I am a games addict myself - though casually.  I have continued to play games on my  mobile, PC and Xbox (mostly on PC). My son inherited this from me and seems like he is little addicted to it because he wants to play games almost all time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly he plays car games both in my mobile and pc (he loves cars, we buy a new car/toy almost every month) and he asks me to play other games like angry birds, batman, plants vs zombies etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I consider it a good thing it is all under control so far.  Most of the time when we say &quot;no, this is not the time to play&quot; he listens to us and says &quot;we will play again in the evening or next day morning&quot;. He gets mad if we won't allow him to play a few requests in a row.  This happens when I am busy with work, my computer or my mobile. I am concerned things will worsen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he plays on the PC, I restrict him to play around 20 minutes but he asks me to play other games which can't play. It is the mobile on which he wants to play the whole day.  It is not just my phone but he cries to play on my wife's, nephew's and my sister's phones as well. According to my wife and sister he plays more than an hour every day on someone's mobile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3301" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-09-14T04:12:50.530" LastActivityDate="2020-09-14T04:12:50.530" Title="Enocurage or discourage playing video games to 4+ year old son" Tags="|video-games|screen-time|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6235" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-08T22:28:03.327" Score="-5" ViewCount="364" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it a law that every house/apartment has to have a carbon monoxide detector as well as a smoke detector? I live in an older apartment complex and am worried that I need to go get my own detector. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3302" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T12:27:51.310" Title="Carbon Monoxide" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2012-10-09T14:30:07.863" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6011" CreationDate="2012-10-08T22:51:20.537" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your boy is perfectly normal and reminds me of myself at his age. I constantly was &quot;falling in love&quot; but looking back, I was attracted to or enjoyed being around that person. I can also see  now that I look back that I was looking up to my own parents and siblings relationships. Wanting to be like them and have what they have. I also, can see TV being an influence as their is so much emphasis on relationships on television/music. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't already, I would ask him what he loves about these girls and that should give you a good idea of where his feelings are coming from. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3303" LastActivityDate="2012-10-08T22:51:20.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6235" CreationDate="2012-10-09T07:20:34.210" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Laws on this kind of thing differ not only from country to country but from state to state, so ask your local council. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if you use gas for cooking or for heating, a carbon monoxide detector is a really good idea. It is cheap, the batteries typically last for five or ten years, and it can &lt;strong&gt;stop you and your  family dying in your sleep!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get one fitted because you should, not because you have to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-10-09T12:27:51.310" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T12:27:51.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6239" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6242" CreationDate="2012-10-09T14:09:10.683" Score="6" ViewCount="28788" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 years old daughter love to watch TV so we let her do that sometimes. We always ask her to sit on the couch which is ~2 meters away from the TV and she do that, however after few minutes she will always get up and go closer to the screen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we ask her to get back to the couch she obeys, but again - only for few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we take her for eyesight test, or is this normal behavior for this age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt; - at the age of 3, she got glasses and since then all is good. Turned out to be eyesight issue indeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2016-05-04T07:57:47.690" LastActivityDate="2016-07-05T01:37:39.113" Title="Toddler always get close to the TV, might it point on bad eye sight?" Tags="|toddler|television|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6232" CreationDate="2012-10-09T14:17:03.547" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have teenagers.  If you want to de-emphasize gaming, you have to provide a compelling alternative that your child will be satisfied participating in.  The bad news is, you are going to have to participate actively as well, which means you have to make time away from work or other commitments to devote to your child.  At least until your child is old enough to replace you with his own friends.  If cricket is the alternative, you'll have to say, &quot;Hey, let's get some friends and go play cricket, instead.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another tip on the tantrums.  Kids go with what works for them.  If tantrums get results, they use them. If discussion works, they'll talk.  Your best response there might be, &quot;I can see that you're upset about this.  We'll discuss it when you have calmed down.&quot;  And then, ignore him until he calms down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3306" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T14:17:03.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6239" CreationDate="2012-10-09T14:54:26.067" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned then you could do your own eyesight check. Get some pictures of things she knows the names of, for instance a bird, car, etc. Make sure she's never seen them. Tell her you're going to play a game, and make sure someone's there to make sure she stays on the sofa while you stand TV distance away. Hold up the pictures one by one and see if she can see what they are. If she can't see them get an eyesight check. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go for walks and point to things far away and ask her what she sees. Can she recognize her daddy from 30m away? 10m? Does she point to birds in the sky? If not, she may been glasses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T14:54:26.067" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6239" CreationDate="2012-10-09T16:04:48.227" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is definitely normal, and not just at that age, although they do get better at following instructions as they get older (caveat- I don't have teenagers so this may all change...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just keep popping the child back on the couch, tell them not to get close to the TV and ideally sit on the couch with them for a cuddle. This will provide positive reinforcement that the couch is a comfy place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T16:04:48.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6239" CreationDate="2012-10-09T16:22:17.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This issue was covered on Skeptics.SE, and the answer was, no, there is no effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the link:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/404/does-watching-television-damage-the-eyes&quot;&gt;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/404/does-watching-television-damage-the-eyes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T16:22:17.607" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2012-10-09T17:40:00.157" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say as soon as possible! My sister put her son in a martial arts class and was nervous because he is really shy.  It has helped a lot with coordination skills, people skills, and self confidence.  All these skills are good to have growing up so might as well get them as early as possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3309" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-05-23T16:50:15.340" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T16:50:15.340" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6239" CreationDate="2012-10-09T18:26:40.673" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would think that it's not an eyesight issue but simply that the story is so exciting that she wants to be closer to it. It's like when granny says, &lt;em&gt;&quot;It's story time, kids, come closer.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6241/2513&quot;&gt;GdD offers great ideas&lt;/a&gt; for DIY eyesight tests, or visit a professional if you're concerned. But if it's not evident &lt;em&gt;except&lt;/em&gt; for TV then it's probably not that. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6242/2513&quot;&gt;Rory suggests&lt;/a&gt; to join them on the couch, which is what I would do, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-10-10T08:36:28.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6246" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6247" CreationDate="2012-10-09T19:49:34.223" Score="8" ViewCount="1014" Body="&lt;p&gt;I played sports growing up and learned many valuable lessons while on the field. I want my daughter to learn some of those same lessons. Is it wrong of me if at a young age I start to push sports on her? Enroll her in soccer, t-ball etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3303" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-10-10T08:36:00.270" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T02:15:51.687" Title="Is it bad if I push my daughter into playing sports?" Tags="|sports|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6246" CreationDate="2012-10-09T19:57:03.880" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's important to push your kids.  I also think it's important not to push too hard.  Balance in all things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage her.  Play with her yourself and make sure she enjoys it.  When she agrees, then sign her up.  Make sure she understands that she'll have to stay with it for at least some period of time -- it's a lot more fun once you've gotten past the initial awkwardness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T19:57:03.880" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6248" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-09T22:02:49.447" Score="7" ViewCount="1780" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have a 2 year old little girl. We in the upcoming weeks will be having a new addition (another girl) added into our home. We want our 2 year old to embrace her new little sister, love her, and help take care of her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a way to avoid jealousy I am all ears. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3303" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T07:52:26.033" Title="Introducing a newborn to my 2 yr old" Tags="|newborn|siblings|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6248" CreationDate="2012-10-09T22:23:59.757" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't want to discourage you, but we tried... and tried.. and our girl (18mo at the time) thought our newborn was awesome when we visited mommy in the hospital the day after. She did &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; think it was awesome that the baby was coming home with us. And that mommy spent all day with the new baby. There was no consoling her at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was completely upset for about 3-4 weeks. But very soon, she started playing with her baby doll much more than she had before. Things got much more involved when she would do to the baby what mommy did to our newborn. She'd put the baby doll in the car seat, wrap baby in blankets, rock baby to sleep just like mommy rocked our newborn. And that helped a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now, 3 months later, she's an absolutely wonderful big sister. She gives little sister a hug and a kiss at night, and is appropriately gentle when doing so (which she isn't with most things...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing was consistency: first, never letting her feel that she wasn't loved &lt;strong&gt;too&lt;/strong&gt;. That it was okay for mommy and daddy to love both her and the newborn. Second, to make sure that the newborn was around -alot-. Make it very clear that she's not going anywhere just because you don't like it. If you want to have no newborn, you'd have to have no mommy too, because mommy has to be with the newborn. And third was making sure that she was able to be involved. If we could have an opportunity for her to help, we did. Sometimes we'd even invent things. Maybe we didn't need the blanket to go over the car seat today because the weather was good, but we'd ask her to get it anyway. So she'd scurry across the room and get the blanket, and she'd even put it on the carseat (sometimes better than others :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I don't think you will necessarily be able to &lt;strong&gt;avoid&lt;/strong&gt; jealousy. For us, instead of trying to avoid it, we tried (and succeeded in) &lt;strong&gt;breaking through&lt;/strong&gt; it. Your milage may vary, but try not to fall into the trap that because she doesn't take kindly to the newborn for the first couple weeks that it will always be that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2012-10-09T22:23:59.757" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6248" CreationDate="2012-10-10T09:52:08.333" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A bit of jealousy and rivalry is unavoidable, and I'm not going to add anything to @corsiKa's excellent post. What I will say is that trying to foster some independence in the time you have left is a good step as the more confident your child is the easier it is for you and your child. Encourage your child to do things on her own a bit and praise her for it, that way it will be less of a shock when she suddenly &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; do things on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think some books about being a big sister would be a good idea, they help your child understand more about what is going to happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-10T09:52:08.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6246" CreationDate="2012-10-10T16:15:31.993" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;No.  You should not &lt;strong&gt;push&lt;/strong&gt; any recreational activity, no matter how rewarding you found it, on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;However&lt;/em&gt;... it is perfectly appropriate to &lt;strong&gt;encourage&lt;/strong&gt; her to &lt;strong&gt;try&lt;/strong&gt; sports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The difference between pushing and encouraging is kind of subjective and hazy, but my interpretation is that &quot;pushing&quot; occurs when the child has already formed their opinion, and you enforce behavior that is contrary to that opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have your daughter try football, and she doesn't like football, continuing to pressure her into participating in football is pushing, and is not likely to result in a life-long passion for football.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't like football, then you should encourage her to try something else, until she settles on one or more sports she &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the age and personality, it may be appropriate to make it a requirement for the child to give a sport that initial attempt.  Much like a policy of trying everything on your plate at dinner, enforcing &quot;you must try a sport before deciding you don't want to do it&quot; is perfectly reasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What &quot;try&quot; means is something you should be very clear on ahead of time (i.e. is it one session?  One week?  A full season?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also reasonable to establish an expectation that, while the child may have veto power over individual sport activities, they have to pick &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt;, particularly if you are focused on the health and educational (teamwork, goals, strategies, etc.) benefits of sports.  Just be wary of budding lawyers... make sure that you address ahead of time whether you consider &quot;NASCAR&quot; a legitimate sport for your child to pursue, for example!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-10-10T16:15:31.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6246" CreationDate="2012-10-10T19:45:44.317" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me tell you a story: My ex-wife's father, a military career person, forced her brother into riding bicycles from early childhood. The boy hated it, sucked at it, but was forced into doing it anyway. One of those times resulted in a nasty fall, a broken leg, and a broken relationship between him and his father that never healed. That boy turned into a man and never spoke a word with his father. His father's like dead to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would you like to experience the same? Is it worth it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2012-10-10T19:45:44.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6232" CreationDate="2012-10-10T20:57:10.930" Score="-8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though I can no longer provide the citation it has been established that rapid changing video is extraordinarily harmful for children and has been documented to cause and/or aggravate ADD and ADHD. Programs like Yo Gabba Gabba (I hate that show) with it's slow consistent movement is preferable to shows like Baby Einstein with it's rapid changing scenery and topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;There's a party in my tummy! So yummy, so yummy!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somebody shoot me now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line I'd discourage it with extreme prejudice though you'll be in for a s***-storm of emotional blowback. I'm a father of eight, grandfather of three (so far) and I don't envy you the task.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3311" LastEditorUserId="3311" LastEditDate="2012-10-10T21:02:36.663" LastActivityDate="2012-10-10T21:02:36.663" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6248" CreationDate="2012-10-10T21:19:31.963" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had seven daughters, one son, and it never crossed our minds... or at least it never crossed mine... to worry about how the older siblings were going to react to the new arrivals. When the baby came home we engaged the older children to help mom and dad take care of their little sister and they were delighted to be treated as big girls and help. Although one of our girls (now seventeen) helped a little bit too much by grabbing her newborn sister (now fifteen) by her foot and pulling her out of her crib like a carrot. Repeatedly. For what it's worth that newborn now helps her twenty-three y.o. sister in college with her English homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3311" LastEditorUserId="3311" LastEditDate="2012-10-10T21:25:32.690" LastActivityDate="2012-10-10T21:25:32.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6255" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-10T22:40:18.627" Score="7" ViewCount="361" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a question for an 8 year old, however for a younger child it might be different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child can not get through all the excercises and after 3 minutes walks away from the piano. Should I bribe her with ice-cream or money or other rewards?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2625" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-07-08T12:46:13.167" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T12:46:13.167" Title="How do I motivate a primary schooler to practice musical instrument?" Tags="|primary-schooler|motivation|music|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6255" CreationDate="2012-10-11T00:16:13.787" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No bribes!&lt;/strong&gt;  If you reward your kids for an activity then the activity becomes an obstacle, something to be overcome to get what they want.  By definition an obstacle is something to be overcome, avoided, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son, also 8, just started piano lessons.  He asked for them which helps, but he has to practice every day for 10 minutes.  We're not too strict on the time and sometimes it lasts as little as 3 minutes.  We just stress that he do it every day.  In the future we'll worry about making the sessions a little longer.  Better he look at it as something interesting for a short time that something he dislikes for a longer time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-10-11T00:16:13.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6255" CreationDate="2012-10-11T00:20:59.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No bribes too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I endorse what Brian says and add - make the practice one of the first things they do when they walk in door before anything else can distract them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If any bribe - get an after school snack - apples or something cut up and ready for them as soon as they're finished.  They're usually famished and would even eat broccoli at that point! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3312" LastActivityDate="2012-10-11T00:20:59.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6255" CreationDate="2012-10-11T17:52:41.940" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;What kind of practice are you trying?  One of the key components of techniques like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzuki_method&quot;&gt;Suzuki method&lt;/a&gt; is to have one parent sit down with the child during practice sessions.  The point is that the child will want to do it if the parent shows some interest in the child's activity.  If you just tell then to practice, turn on an egg timer, and then walk away (or worse, as everyone else has pointed out, bribe them), you turn what should be a joyous thing-- learning how to make music-- into an onerous chore that no one wants to do but everyone feels they should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son really wants to play violin and piano, because he sees a lot of people around him doing it.  My wife plays piano now at least three times a week, and he sits with her and mashes the keys.  He's asked me to play (well, told me, because he's 3), and then proclaimed that my hands were broken because I couldn't.  He's seen our neighbors' daughter play violin--she got accepted to college as a violin major-- and was just awestruck and really wants to try that too.  He even sat still during &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/419258/september-19-2012/itzhak-perlman----spanish-dance-&quot;&gt;Itzhak Perlman's performance on The Colbert Report&lt;/a&gt;, much to our amazement. Our neighbors have said that some of the most rewarding parenting experiences have been sitting with their daughter for an hour a day while she learns; personally, I'm looking forward to trying that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter?  Couldn't care less.  Our neighbor's other kids?  Also, could not care less about making music.  Forcing them would probably result in their resentment, because they are just not interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-10-11T17:52:41.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6220" CreationDate="2012-10-11T21:50:35.697" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your wife is in the situation that most fathers are in: since most children are mainly reared by their mothers, while their fathers are at work, they are more attached to their mothers (at least at an early age). This is (or was) so common, that theorists believed that there was a naturally closer relationship between a mother and her child than between a father and his child. But today, with many young fathers taking a break from work and caring for their new-born children either along with or instead of their mothers, we can often see a reversal of this bonding: children bond most closely with the person that cares for them most of the time and best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, since temperament is partly genetic, it is very likely that the same-sex parent is more similar in temperament to his or her child. This parent will &quot;understand&quot; the needs of their child better, and be better able to care for his or her needs. Maybe you can see similarities between yourself and your son that can further explain his preference for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children rarely love both parents equally. They certainly almost always love both parents, and almost always equally strongly. But they love them in different ways and want different things from each of them. Your son's mother will always be the person that bore him and nursed him and gave him his life. If she does not destroy this basis with envy a strong relationship will grow from that. You are your son's partner in learning about the world, and maybe that is not a bad role for a father to have in relation to his son. Maybe it is perfectly okay that a man teaches your son to be a man, not a woman. Men have to accept that daughters grow away from them and become closer to their mothers. Why shouldn't a mother be able to deal with the fact that her son want his father?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Love is not about owning, but about setting free. Your wife should be happy that your son loves you so much, because too many male children had to grow up without a father. She should be glad for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2012-10-11T21:50:35.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6230" CreationDate="2012-10-11T22:00:58.043" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have friends who are seriously into board games. The meet once or twice each week and play until late at night. Sometimes I join them, and this is my perspective on playing games:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People are different, and there is room for each person to be himself in life. A game is not a separate world, but a social event: you meet because you want to play a game, but you also meet with friends to share some common time. A game has rules, and it is (usually) no fun, if someone breaks the rules, but it is not only okay but (I believe) part of the fun that different people play the same game differently. In this group of friends, some play very competitively, others often team up and play cooperatively. And since it is a &lt;strong&gt;game&lt;/strong&gt;, that none of the players confuses with real life, that is part of the fun: that you can try out different strategies and playing styles and see how you feel with them. Sometimes the cooperative person plays competitively … just for the hell of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, basically, I believe that there is no(t much) reason to argue about the &quot;right&quot; way to play. Just as you have to learn to deal with loosing (or winning in a way that does not make the others feel like idiots), you have to learn to deal with the fact that other people are not like you. Maybe that is something that you can teach your child through this game: that people are different and act differently, and still love each other. Because (I suppose) your marriage works well, despite the fact that your wife and you are not clones of each other. Social life is about tolerance etc., and a game is as good a field to learn about that than any other. And you can still learn that at an advanced age :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2012-10-11T22:00:58.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6208" CreationDate="2012-10-11T22:28:54.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is very important for me that my son learn to understand the world as (I believe) it is. I believe there is no Santa (and very likely no God), so I try very hard to let him not get indoctrinated by these fairy tales, and if I tell or read them to him, or he tells me that someone told him such a fantasy, I explain that they are not true and why people made them up. This is important to me, just as it is important for me that my son understands that there are no monsters, that the earth is not flat, and that white people are not superior to colored people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that our world, even from an &quot;agnostic&quot; perspective, is so full of magic and wonder, that there really is not need to make anything up. Imagination is a powerful thing, and it is fun to play &quot;make believe&quot;, but I strongly despise the delusions that are part of our culture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you see, the question for me is not, if letting a child believe in Santa Clause is harmless, but wether or not you want your child to grow up in an atmosphere of supersition, or in an atmosphere of scepticism. Our world is full of people who refuse to think for themselves and prefer to believe the lies that they are fed by the media. I want my child to learn to think and to find his own truth. So I teach him to question generally held truths. And Father Christmas is just one tool for me to teach him to use his mental abilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2012-10-11T22:28:54.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6262" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-12T02:38:00.900" Score="13" ViewCount="10777" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two kids, 8 and 5  years old. My first boy has ADHD he is on medicine, but the medicine will stop working after 4pm, or some times works good or some times so-so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem I have with him is that he argues with me a lot. If I ask him for help, he will raise his voice and said why? why I do not ask his brother for help. If I say dinner is ready, he will say, I am not hungry, what's for dinner, I don't like it, why you always cook so bad? If I say it's time for bed.... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has an excuse for everything, he doesn't want to clean his room, today he expend 3  hours cleaning. His punishment are no playing computer, xbox, no tv, or just stay inside in his bedroom. He is not allow to yell, kick or slam the door, but he will do it, because he said he is angry and it is our fault because we punish him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also feel that we love his little brother more that him, because we don't punish him. My 5 years boy is so different, if he drip water on the floor on the table, he will say sorry mama I will clean it right now. My 8 years boy, won't notice it, he won't apologize, if I tell my 5 years clean your bedroom, he will say okey mama. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is so hard for me, I am just getting crazy with my boy, I do not know what to do. I try a calendar of behavior and put color green, yellow and red, but he will so upset when he get yellow or red. We were in therapy 3 years before we put him on medicine. I feel very disappointed of myself, I don't know what to do. I start yelling now, and I don't want to lose my temper. Any help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3314" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-10-12T07:54:16.180" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T06:27:01.280" Title="How can I deal with my unreasonable 8 year old with ADHD?" Tags="|primary-schooler|adhd|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6263" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-12T09:48:50.780" Score="14" ViewCount="2051" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found many of the topics here very interesting, but would like to share my personal situation, as it is quite specific, to see if you guys have any advice or experiences to share. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am German, and my wife is Hungarian. We live in Sweden (I work in Denmark), and are currently expecting our first child. My Hungarian is very rudimentary, my wife's German is quite good. Nevertheless, our language of communication is English (also the language we work in).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We definitely want to bring our child up with our heritage languages, Hungarian and German. Additionally, there will be a third language involved as soon as the child enters day care, which is possible at age one here. I am a bit torn between Swedish and English as the third language. Normally I would go for the local language Swedish, to enable the child to speak the language of the country it lives in. I really like Swedish as well, and am able to communicate in it at a basic level myself. However, my wife is not that fond of living in Scandinavia, therefore it is hard to foresee for how long we will actually stay here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;English on the other side is generally a very useful language, even if we move somewhere else, as other countries generally have international/English kindergardens or schools. I feel that this decision should be made early on, in order not to confuse the child, or rip it out of a language context and leave it ill-equiped in a third country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do any of you have experiences with a similar situation? How did you decide? What challenges did you face along the way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last question is a more concrete one:&#xA;It seems that most parents follow the &quot;one parent one language&quot; approach, which to me makes sense. But how do you handle the language spoken between you and your partner in front of the child, if it is a third one? As described, we usually communicate in English. We could however also switch to German, to keep the languages in the house limited to 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question is a bit related to the previous decision: IF we decide to make Swedish the third language (therefore sending the child to Swedish day care etc.), talking English to each other would mean that the child would actually be exposed to 4 languages. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I am happy with any advice or experiences you can share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3315" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-10-20T20:36:45.570" LastActivityDate="2017-06-10T13:37:29.960" Title="Raising a tri-lingual child, tricky context" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6263" CreationDate="2012-10-12T10:11:13.247" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you live in Sweden you should make sure your child learns Swedish above all other languages, otherwise your child won't be able to interact with other children which will lead to feelings of isolation that would be really bad for your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me 4 languages is far too many. Pick two (English and Swedish. I say English because there will be a load of TV and other media in Sweden that's in English), at least at first, and add more once your child gets a grasp of the two. Maybe your child will be a natural linguist and be able to deal with all those languages, but maybe not in which case too many languages will simply be confusing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand you want your child to speak German and Hungarian, you want your child to understand his/her roots and be able to communicate with grandparents. You just need to be realistic about your child's abilities to learn languages and not overdo it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-12T10:11:13.247" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6263" CreationDate="2012-10-12T12:12:54.860" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;My background: I also live in Sweden. I was born in Russia and lived most of my life in US. My husband is Swedish. We speak English at home. I know many many people with bi- and tri- lingual kids, and a couple of a 4-lingual kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice: go for all of them, and hope that enough of them stick. Above all, don't stress over it too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me address your particular concerns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You will not confuse the child with extra languages. All research seems to indicate that children can tell the difference between languages from about the age of 2 (which is also often when they start to speak short complete sentences). Our kids didn't seem to care one way or another before that either (i.e. no stress).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Studies seem to indicate that your kid will be no smarter or stupider from learning several languages. Also, despite rumours that bi- multi-lingualism might improve working memory, studies don't seem to bear that out. There is an indication that the per-language skills may not be as good for bilingual kids. There is very solid evidence that bilingual kids are better at focusing attention (and ignoring distractions) - &quot;selective attention,&quot; which is a useful life skill.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Throughout a child's lifetime, the languages and how well he/she knows them will change, according to how often they are used. As you already decided you want the kid to learn Hungarian and German, just make sure to speak both languages to him/her. Even if they fade out, it will be easier to reacquire these languages later in life, given early exposure. Knowing multiple languages is often a good career boost (for later in life).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It used to be believed that bilingual (multi-lingual) kids have delayed speech (but catch up by age of 3-4). This is no longer believed to be the case, and it is certainly not my experience or experience of many families I know. There is individual variation, per kid, which is affected by how &quot;verbal&quot; the parents are (i.e. how much talking among themselves and with the kid they do).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Four languages is not a problem, but it is very likely that your kid will have a distinct preference for some of these languages (probably whatever is most used in his/her environment). This preference may be different for siblings in the same environment (for example, I've known Russian/Hungarian couple where one kid thought in Hungarian and translated to Russian, and one who thought in both languages separately).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practically speaking:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your kid goes to dagis (Swedish daycare), they will learn Swedish there. You don't need to make any extra effort for it. Consider it a bonus.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The kid will likely pick up English naturally, if you and your wife are &quot;verbal.&quot; A lot of TV/movies/etc are in English, and if you stay in Scandinavia, like most Swedes, your kid will learn English too as he grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We got advice of one language per parent, with parents speaking their native language to the kids, unless they are talking to each other too. This doesn't seem to matter. Just do whatever is natural as long as all languages you care about are used.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sing in many languages. There are several songs with translations in many languages that our kids enjoyed at age 1-2 (for example, itsy-bitsy spider and twinkle, twinkle, little star have English and Swedish equivalents).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-12T12:12:54.860" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6262" CreationDate="2012-10-12T12:25:19.447" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8yr old boy without ADHD and still get some of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, &lt;strong&gt;understand&lt;/strong&gt;.  Make sure you fully comprehend how your child sees you and your actions, and how he &lt;em&gt;feels&lt;/em&gt; towards you and your actions.  Put yourself in his shoes.  Be him.  You can't really make him understand you unless you first understand him &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; make sure he knows that you really do understand.  Don't sympathize!  &lt;strong&gt;Empathize.&lt;/strong&gt;  Sympathy is a form of agreement.  Empathy is a form of understanding.  That requires a quiet time where you can both sit and talk freely, uninterrupted, for an extended time.  Actually, I like going for a walk and talking like that because then there's no awkwardness whenever the conversation stops for a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only then can you try to make him understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let him know what you expect and that these expectations are completely independent of anyone else's behavior (especially his brother).  Make sure that he understands that all consequences will be a result of &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; actions.  If he doesn't like a consequence, well, that's his problem.  It's a direct result of actions he chose (or failed to choose otherwise).  &quot;If you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let him know exactly what the consequences will be, &lt;strong&gt;good and bad&lt;/strong&gt;, to how he behaves.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be consistent every time and in every situation.  If you decide that a consequence is wrong, don't relent but wait for some quiet time and then explain that you're changing the consequence and why.  Make sure he knows in advance.  Change based on your choices, not his resistance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give love unconditionally.&lt;/strong&gt;  Never, ever, under any circumstances, withdraw your affection.  That &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; be the rock on which he can build his understanding of you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be hard.  It's hard with a non-ADHD child.  But it will be worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-10-12T12:25:19.447" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6263" CreationDate="2012-10-12T13:37:31.150" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are a Swedish and Australian couple living in the Flemish part of Belgium. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I speak English to our little one. My partner speaks Swedish to her. At creche she will learn Flemish, though we don't teach that to her yet (she's not yet one). This will occur some time after she turns one. Later at school she will learn French, as Belgium is bilingual. She'll be  five or older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't see a problem. The only challenge is to remain consistent. This is mainly my partner's problem, as she sometimes speaks English to our little one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids have highly adaptable brains, but if you are not consistent, then the languages can get mixed up. They will understand the difference between Mummy's language, Daddy's language, and the language you speak at school, though will probably not understand what the concepts Swedish, English and Flemish mean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-10-12T13:37:31.150" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6262" CreationDate="2012-10-12T19:55:15.567" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; like my house, down to the 8 and 5 year olds.  Only I have girls.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I don't really have any answers for you, only sympathy and letting you know that you're not alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, keep in contact with your doctor about the medication.  If what your son is taking isn't working well enough, then it needs adjusted.  You may need to increase the dose, take multiple smaller doses through the day, or switch to a different medication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure where you're at, but there may be resources in your community that you can take advantage of that are designed to help your family out, like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wraparound_%28childcare%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wraparound services&lt;/a&gt;.  Again, your doctor should be aware of these programs.  With an ADHD diagnosis, your son may also qualify for government health care programs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the wild variance in the effectiveness of his medication, I'd be doubly sure that he's taking it at the same time every day and &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; taking it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, make sure that you're getting some time for yourself to unwind and relieve stress.  If you spend all day every day feeling like you're at your wit's end and one simple request away from a 45-minute tantrum, you're not going to be as effective a parent as you'd like to be.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2012-10-12T19:55:15.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6192" CreationDate="2012-10-12T20:48:07.470" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have twins. They are bilingual/trilingual. One verbal and one much less verbal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The verbal twin could say lots of words at 13 months (including vocalizing animal sounds) and at 17 months could do 2-3 word sentences. The non-verbal twin at around 17 months could probably manage mamma and pappa, and vocalized something in what we used to call &quot;martian&quot; language. They are about to turn 24 months, and the non-verbal kid can do a small number of separate words, and sometimes 2 word combinations (&quot;åka bil&quot; which is Swedish for &quot;ride car&quot;). He only does it for things he really cares about (i.e. riding a car).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with your kids, he seems to understand as much as the other twin, but can't be bothered to talk most of the time (would nod instead of talking, say). At the same time, he's better in fine motor function and seems to be better at self-play and concentrating on one thing at a time. It was indicated to us by just about everyone (including doctors) that this is still within natural variation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if I were you, I'd do a hearing test anyway, because it can't hurt, and you can rest easy that's not an issue then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-12T20:48:07.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6192" CreationDate="2012-10-13T09:23:49.050" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cognitively speaking, a word is an utterance that a child connects to a concept or a situation. What's important is that the child uses this utterance only for the one object/situation (so, if everybody is 'mama', as well as all the toys and one of the pets, it's not yet a word), and that the utterance is consistently uttered in said situation (mama can't be called other names some of the time). The utterance doesn't have to conform to what other people would say for the same thing (i.e. the word doesn't have to be real). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, the medical standards on how many words a child can say are based on what the parents claim, meaning that the definition is much more loose :) I would expect that parents usually consider something to be a word if it's an utterance that's used correctly some of the time (so, 'mama' is a word even if she sometimes gets called 'papa), or even if it's an utterance that the child never uses spontaneously in a situation, but will repeat correctly upon hearing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Correct signs and gestures are really very close to spoken language, cognitively speaking. They require that a concept is connected to a symbol, which is a big cognitive feat. If it's a gesture, the symbol is motoric, if it's a word, the symbol is spoken. From your description, it looks like your kid is just about to begin speaking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own son is 18 months old and he shows a whole range of verbal abilities that might or might not be words, from only repeating a thing once he hears us saying it (with no real understanding), to pointing to the fridge and shouting 'yogurt!', with a clear intention in mind and the desired object out of view. He said his first few words about a month ago. Before that, he had a clear gesture for 'no' for several months, as well as sounds that went with 'I want' and a few more like 'pick me up'. Now, he seems to pick up a new word every two days on average. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-10-13T09:23:49.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6011" CreationDate="2012-10-13T15:09:14.923" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Awww. This is so sweet. There is nothing to get worried about, they are just kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was in love for the first time at age 4 in Pre-K. He came home one day and told me, &quot;mom I like 2 girls, can I have 2 girlfriends?&quot; I say no, you must choose one. But of course I worry a little bit, I thought about myself, and then asked my husband if he felt in love when he was 4, the answer was not... At that time my son and I were having therapy for his behavior for ADHD I had the chance to ask the professional, he told me it was normal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later on my son picked up his girlfriend, she was a Japanese girl, that girl knocked my son's heart. You have no idea how in love my son was, he wrote and drew pictures of her and him together holding hands, or he gave flowers to her, all these pictures were over and over everyday on the walls, in his homework, in the books at home, in the patio and he would tell everybody how in love he is. He plans to marry her, after he finishes school of course, he said they are going to have 2 kids, he put names to the kids, he also told me, he will be a surgeon, he will buy a big house for her and their kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were in the military and we used to move every 2 years, so after we moved, he was sad, he wrote a lot of letters to her, he wondered if she missed him, if she was thinking about him, if she was sad because he is in another country, he was a sad boy. I tried to comfort him, and told him that yes, she is missing him a lot, but the same way we move, she may move soon also, but communication is important. The real thing is that that girl didn't know my son was so in love with her, and time means healing for all of us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later on in kindergarden he got another girlfriend, then in first grade. In second grade  he and his best friend got girlfriends also, but again, the girl didn't know they had boyfriends hahaha. Now he is in 3rd grade, and he didn't mention anything about a girl yet. I asked him, he says no, and smiles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All kids are, and feel different, my second child is 5 and he didn't have a girlfriend yet. Wish you the best luck for you family, just enjoy your son's feelings, and let him know how in love you are with his mom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3314" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-26T12:37:47.690" LastActivityDate="2019-06-26T12:37:47.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6272" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6280" CreationDate="2012-10-14T23:26:43.353" Score="16" ViewCount="12228" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am wondering how not to be harsh with a toddler. With all the love I have for my boy, I do lose patience and get angry with him once in a while! Any ideas on how to deal with such a situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3089" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2012-10-15T08:10:50.903" LastActivityDate="2014-08-02T01:19:23.637" Title="How not to lose patience with toddler" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6272" CreationDate="2012-10-15T01:04:01.327" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to parenthood and the $64,000 question. The best thing I ever did in managing that was either taking a 30 second breather outside while my son played in his room (I could see him from the window), or if you have family local, calling them for some backup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The times I couldn't do either of those, the only thing I could do was repeat in my head: &quot;He's only two, he's only two, he's only two&quot; or whatever your child's age. Keeping that perspective and reminding yourself that they're one giant ball of uncontrolled Id might not make things easier in the moment, but did help relax me enough to handle the situation a lot better than lost patience and anger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a very natural thing to have a shortened temper and get upset. That does not ever imply that you love your child less or anything along those lines. Raising kids is not an easy job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3201" LastActivityDate="2012-10-15T01:04:01.327" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6274" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6276" CreationDate="2012-10-15T14:57:27.410" Score="6" ViewCount="7283" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally, babies, particularly newborns, have a tendency to eat or munch anything they get their hands on. This can be very hazardous or sometimes fatal if the matter is toxic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can someone give me some practical advice on how to prevent toddlers or newborns from putting anything near to their mouths?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2297" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-10-16T10:23:31.683" LastActivityDate="2021-03-16T03:56:57.100" Title="How can I prevent my 9 month old from eating anything and everything?" Tags="|infant|newborn|safety|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6275" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6277" CreationDate="2012-10-15T15:01:48.593" Score="9" ViewCount="2427" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The experience and my actions at the time&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three years ago, my nephew was three years old, in the middle of his potty training. After lunch with the family everyone went outside, he and his older brother (who was 6 back then) joined me near the computer like they always did, playing together some classic games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point I excused myself to the nearby toilet room leaving the two of them to themselves with a game they both knew and loved. While I was still in the middle, the three year old nephew entered the bathroom and said he had to use it and asked for my help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have seen his parents take him to the bathroom before and under normal circumstances I would have just gone and called them; however I wasn't in any condition to get out of the room. I asked him to go ask his parents or hold a few minutes until I was done but he didn't budge and insisted on immediate action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fearing he would mess his pants I got up and helped him through the whole process. He pretty much did everything on his own, probably he was at a stage where he still needed the supervision. After he was done he went out, I returned to the room a few minutes later to find both brothers playing as usual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I considered telling his parents, asking if I acted properly but was too embarrassed to mention it and it didn't happen again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My question and debates&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I have done anything different? If so, what and at which point?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I have told his parents afterwards, even if just to inform them?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now father to a 2-year-old toddler I do realize I might be making it a much bigger deal than what it really was; on one hand parents always want to know what their child is doing but on the other hand maybe such a thing is totally normal. (Potty training has not started yet for my daughter so can't really tell.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any insights will be welcome!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-06T13:22:39.550" LastActivityDate="2019-02-12T17:39:01.213" Title="Embarrassing experience with my nephew; Should I tell his parents?" Tags="|toddler|parents|potty-training|extended-family|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6274" CreationDate="2012-10-15T15:12:12.743" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't really prevent them from putting those things in their mouth. More than that: preventing them such thing is like preventing eyesight from adults, as at this stage the baby &quot;feels&quot; the world through touch and taste more than by eyesight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The obvious solution to protect them from harm is to always make sure there isn't anything harmful around them and always keep watch and snatch anything harmful if it somehow find its way to their hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My two cents from own experience is to always put something safe and familiar in their reach: pacifier, favorite toy etc. Then put new things, not harmful of course, let them take it and constantly explain to them &quot;No, this thing should not be in your mouth&quot; for those other things. At some point they'll start to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-10-15T15:12:12.743" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6275" CreationDate="2012-10-15T15:14:19.880" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are reading far too much into this. In fact, I was struggling to see what the problem was. You helped the young kid go potty. He needed help. If he'd poo-ed himself, you would have changed him, right? If he'd fallen down, you'd clean the blood off his knee, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel uncomfortable about it, you could mention it casually to the parents, though this might be a bit awkward now that the event has passed. You could have said, &quot;&lt;em&gt;When I was going to the bathroom, young X came in and asked me to help him go, so I did.&lt;/em&gt;&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-10-15T15:14:19.880" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6274" CreationDate="2012-10-15T16:40:27.617" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure there's nothing dangerous that they can reach and put in their mouth.  Other than that, don't worry about it.  In fact, there is growing evidence that &quot;eating dirt&quot; is good for kids as it teaches their immune systems what is out there.  Farm kids are also known to have a greater number of &quot;helpful bacteria&quot; in their systems than city kids due to a greater exposure to things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The middle of 5 children once asked her mother how her parenting had changed from child to child.  Her mother replied, &quot;When your oldest sister swallowed a dime, I rushed her to the emergency room.  When your youngest brother swallowed a nickel, I told him it was coming out of his allowance.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2013-12-24T18:02:40.507" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T18:02:40.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6275" CreationDate="2012-10-15T17:03:01.690" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Dave said, this shouldn't be seen as embarrassing or awkward. To a child that age it isn't- they know they need some help and you are someone who can help, so they don't read anything else into it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they get older you can see their bodily awareness grow until all of a sudden they stop doing things like this, but at this age just accept that you have helped, and realise that your kids will be the same and may need to ask someone else for help at some point, be it teacher, babysitter or whoever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-15T17:03:01.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6272" CreationDate="2012-10-15T18:44:39.483" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I liked the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553067508&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Becoming the parent you want to be&quot;&lt;/a&gt; for these types of things. It had an approach that was aiming to adjust for individual parenting style, and had a lot of useful things in particular for parents of toddlers (there are too many books for babies - not enough for toddler stages). Lots of useful things about temper tantrums, demanding behaviour, and generally about how to have actual communication with your kids. It's not everybody's cup of tea, but check out Amazon reviews, and see if you might care for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-15T18:44:39.483" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6281" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6282" CreationDate="2012-10-16T01:35:26.373" Score="9" ViewCount="838" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are blessed with fifteen month old twins. They are generally well-behaved, but have recently started to throw food from their highchair trays. We have two dogs who are very pleased with this arrangement, but their mom and I are not. The dogs do help keep our floor visibly clean, but this does not help when we are eating out. Correcting the twins every time they make a movement towards throwing some of their food on the floor is making for tedious mealtimes. What are some ways to encourage our toddlers to not throw their food on the floor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1483" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2012-10-16T08:44:25.653" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T10:46:37.400" Title="How to encourage toddler to not throw food?" Tags="|toddler|education|food|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6281" CreationDate="2012-10-16T02:20:52.733" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take the food away from them.  When they complain, ask them if they're going to keep their food to themselves.  When they agree, explain that if they do it again then you'll take it away and won't give it back -- they won't get anything more to eat until the next meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on how much you've followed through (or not) on things you've said in the past, you may actually need to let them go hungry a time or two.  But don't worry...  They'll figure it out pretty quick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my own kids, when I've given them something and they've said something like, &quot;That's not what I want,&quot; I say &quot;Okay&quot; and take it away.  It's amazing how quickly they change their mind but I make them beg a little before returning it.  They never got so bad as I was forced to eat their ice cream in front of them because they said, &quot;I wanted more!&quot;...  Unfortunately.  :-D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Yes...  I'm the &lt;em&gt;meanest&lt;/em&gt; Daddy in the whole world! :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2012-10-17T16:11:45.803" LastActivityDate="2012-10-17T16:11:45.803" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6283" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-16T11:58:44.213" Score="47" ViewCount="114095" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 20 year old female student and I have a 5 year old son who is really sexually active. For instance, he kisses girls by force, he forces them to lick his penis, he &quot;fingers&quot; them, he speaks about sex openly with everyone except me, his father and my family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a whole lot more that he does and the most frustrating part is that when teachers ask him where he saw those things, he says he learned it from me.  We do not even live together.  Currently I am in Cape Town doing my degree and he is in KZN with my mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he was 8 months old, he went to live with his father because I had to finish high school.  We never lived together. We have tried talking to him and it hasn't helped.  We've punished him but still he keeps on getting worse. What should I do?  I am really angry, embarrassed and confused. If I am not mistaken, this is his third year acting like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3329" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T17:04:52.923" LastActivityDate="2019-04-22T08:43:18.717" Title="My son is 5 years old and sexually active" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|sex|abuse|sexual-consent|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6283" CreationDate="2012-10-16T14:08:46.793" Score="125" Body="&lt;p&gt;You absolutely need to seek professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that he is forcing other children to perform sexual activities indicates that this is a &lt;strong&gt;VERY&lt;/strong&gt; serious problem that you need to address immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to find a psychologist, councilor, or social worker who specializes in working with children.  If they feel they aren't the right people to help you, at the very least they can provide you with referrals to help find the appropriate professional to help your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-10-16T14:08:46.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6097" CreationDate="2012-10-16T20:51:25.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He may be lacking &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grit_%28personality_trait%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;grit&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a good pair of articles about it: &lt;a href=&quot;http://99u.com/articles/7094/The-Future-of-Self-Improvement-Part-I-Grit-Is-More-Important-Than-Talent&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Grit Is More Important Than Talent&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://99u.com/articles/7095/The-Future-of-Self-Improvement-Part-II-The-Dilemma-of-Coaching-Yourself&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Dilemma of Coaching Yourself&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ratracetrap.com/the-rat-race-trap/how-to-improve-your-willpower.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's a nice list of things to look out for to optimize your willpower&lt;/a&gt;. Unfortunately it's not straightforward. On the other hand, if it was easy it wouldn't be a problem :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm convinced that the human spirit is malleable and therefore with some coaching willpower can be improved, at least somewhat. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/18/magazine/what-if-the-secret-to-success-is-failure.html?pagewanted=all&amp;amp;_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Learning to cope with failure&lt;/a&gt; seems like a good approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastActivityDate="2012-10-16T20:51:25.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6283" CreationDate="2012-10-16T21:06:38.603" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, it came from &lt;em&gt;somewhere&lt;/em&gt;. Someone, at some point, showed him those things in the best case or did such things to him in the worst case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can't throw accusations around and it doesn't really matter now - the damage has been done, and must be fixed as soon as possible by professional help as suggested in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6284/2513&quot;&gt;this other answer&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I wanted to add is that in such age this is unlikely that the child already has &quot;sexuality&quot; of his own and enjoys what he's doing in a sexual way. More likely that for him it's just a game which he learned and came to like. We can't really know it though, unless we ask the child himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, in the future this might cause serious problems, so it better be addressed seriously as soon as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2019-04-22T08:43:18.717" LastActivityDate="2019-04-22T08:43:18.717" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2012-10-16T21:20:09.740" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possible reason for such behaviour that wasn't mentioned here yet is that he might be enjoying this, while pooping in toilet might be &quot;boring&quot; to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is probably well aware that he shouldn't be doing it and that it's &quot;a bad thing&quot; so that's why he keep silent when you ask him why he's doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would go and ask him &quot;Do you enjoy doing this?&quot; next time when it happens, then watch closely at his reaction. One good thing about children is they can't really lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if this is truly the case try explaining to him that even though he enjoys it he still should not do it, and pretty much repeat everything you tried so far; maybe after being &quot;busted&quot; he will give up. If he still doing it I would seek professional help, as it goes well beyond potty training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possible reason that also wan't yet mentioned is &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/digestive/encopresis.html&quot;&gt;Encopresis&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If your child who has bowel movements (BMs) in places other than the&#xA;  toilet, you know how frustrating it can be. Many parents assume that&#xA;  kids who soil their pants are simply misbehaving or that they're too&#xA;  lazy to use the bathroom when they have the urge to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The truth is that many kids beyond the age of toilet teaching&#xA;  (generally older than 4 years) who frequently soil their underwear&#xA;  have a condition known as encopresis. They have a problem with their&#xA;  bowels that dulls the normal urge to go to the bathroom — and they&#xA;  can't control the accidents that typically follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading your question again it's not so far fetched your son has this medical problem. Bottom line, you better consult a doctor about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2012-10-16T22:12:08.313" LastActivityDate="2012-10-16T22:12:08.313" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6288" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6308" CreationDate="2012-10-17T11:05:33.897" Score="6" ViewCount="108057" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5 month old generally gets her head down somewhere in the early evening. We lie the sleeping lump on the bed face up, and she snoozes. Then she rolls over onto her tummy and wakes up. She's at the stage where she's perfectly happy to be on her tummy while awake, if a bit frustrated when trying to crawl (currently she sort of drags herself where she wants to go). However, in the middle of the night, there's normally an exhausted cry for attention, which escalates until we pick her up and either hold her or feed her. At which point she falls asleep again and the cycle continues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's driving my slightly-more-easy-to-wake partner to the edge of sanity, and I'd like to save her without joining her on the edge myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can we get our daughter to either not roll over, or to not wake up when she rolls over?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; An assumption made by most of the answers so far is that she's not sleeping in a cot at the end of the bed. I appreciate that if we move the cot, we &quot;reduce the problem to one that's already been solved&quot;, but we're not quite ready for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2012-10-19T07:51:12.667" LastActivityDate="2014-07-09T21:33:53.417" Title="How do we stop our daughter rolling over and waking herself up?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6288" CreationDate="2012-10-17T12:05:27.133" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think such thing is really possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you prevent her from rolling over she will most likely feel &quot;trapped&quot; and wake up just from trying to roll over.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the act of rolling over is waking her up, you can't really change this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I fear you will have to revert back to making her get back to sleep by herself, in addition to the numerous tips you can probably find I will give my own two cents:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Assuming she's using a pacifier put at least two of those in bed near her when she goes to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When she wakes up at night go and calm her then give her pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When she wakes up again just give the pacifier, putting the other one in her hand so that she can use it herself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Repeat the previous step and at some point she will start taking the pacifier herself and calm herself to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Took us several weeks when my daughter was at your infant's age, and it's totally worth the time and effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-10-17T12:05:27.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6288" CreationDate="2012-10-17T12:09:25.910" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe she wakes up because she is hungry - it is hard to tell. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the solution for you is not to try to prevent her from waking. I would suggest you to bottle-feed her yourself and perhaps you might try to sleep together with your daughter in another room some days/week so that your partner can sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3333" LastEditorUserId="3333" LastEditDate="2012-10-17T12:17:11.300" LastActivityDate="2012-10-17T12:17:11.300" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6288" CreationDate="2012-10-17T12:42:45.907" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're looking at this the wrong way.  The problem is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; that she wakes up but that she can't self-comfort herself back to sleep.  She'll grow out of this on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until then, when she wakes she needs to know that you're &quot;there&quot; for her.  Go in, pick her up and comfort her until she stops crying, then put her back down and leave.  If she starts to cry when you put her down or while you're leaving, &lt;strong&gt;ignore her&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she continues to cry for 5 minutes, repeat the above.  Then wait 6 minutes.  Then 7.  Then 8.  &lt;strong&gt;Crying will not hurt her though it may break &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; heart (or at least keep you from sleeping).&lt;/strong&gt; This is sometimes called &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mumsnet.com/babies/sleep-training-and-controlled-crying&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;controlled crying&lt;/a&gt;&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By doing this she knows that she's not isolated and that her parents are always around but also learns that being alone isn't a problem.  I went through this for about two weeks (though it felt like two months) with my son when he was weaned off mid-night feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If sleep-deprivation is really bad, then the two of you should alternate sleeping somewhere quiet for a night.  Don't change &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; sleeping arrangements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2012-10-17T15:02:51.800" LastActivityDate="2012-10-17T15:02:51.800" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6283" CreationDate="2012-10-17T14:31:25.090" Score="62" Body="&lt;p&gt;Overly sexual behavior for kids is abnormal and often a sign of sexual abuse. You must seek professional help, and based on its conclusions, you may have to involve the law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2012-10-17T14:31:25.090" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6281" CreationDate="2012-10-17T15:41:42.277" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are not alone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to them when it happens. Tell them it is not okay, but avoid punish them with consequences not related to &quot;what is on the table or on the floor&quot; (like now I will not read the book, or now there will be no ice cream... etc. which is too abstract even for a 3-4 year old).  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give them smaller portions. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If they will not eat the food, that is fine - they will not starve.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3333" LastEditorUserId="3333" LastEditDate="2012-10-18T20:12:57.100" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T20:12:57.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6255" CreationDate="2012-10-17T23:59:10.043" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone you started Piano at 5 and took lessons on and off for 8 years, I would have to ask if the child wants to continue the piano.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without knowing how mature your child is, or what she may have committed to before hand, I would suggest that piano is either &#xA;1) Not suited to her attention span, which should be managed, first&#xA;2) Not as much fun as she had thought and she would rather do other things&#xA;3) or Lastly, Important to her, but not she may not understand the importance of practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking back on my time in piano, I practiced far too little. On the one hand, I really only cared for music theory and the &lt;strong&gt;sound&lt;/strong&gt; of the instrument, I never really enjoyed playing.  If I had not been forced to continue, I probably would have taken it up, again, on my own, later.  I would probably have also benefited if my staying in piano had been contingent on practice.  Since both were 'mandatory', the less important one (to my parents: practice) suffered, and I never really benefited from the lessons.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also benefits in teaching your child to stick with something they don't like, but I don't think I learned that from being forced to stay in piano.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3335" LastActivityDate="2012-10-17T23:59:10.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6011" CreationDate="2012-10-18T00:27:23.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing I suggest you do is discuss with your child what they think love is. Children communicate with the vocabulary they know and an adult understanding of love is different from your child so make sure you are understanding exactly what your son is trying to communicate to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also spend some time discussing why he is feeling anxious enough to feel something is wrong with him. Maybe this is just a new emotion that he has caught onto and has started noticing his attraction and is trying to work out things in his mind where these thoughts/emotions/feelings belong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main point I would like to make that is not in the other answers is that I feel now would be a good time to start talking to him about personal space and respect for others, especially respect for the opposite sex. I don't think it needs to be too deep, but a good chance for you to help him understand and sort-out his feelings while helping him develop socially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T00:27:23.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6230" CreationDate="2012-10-18T00:50:40.337" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem is you (singular or plural) crossed the line when your son was made to feel bad or to feel to blame although he stuck within the rules and you even told him he had the option to let your wife win or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you regularly play board games, and especially when you play more advanced games, siding with someone or screwing someone over is an option which you are faced with regularly and sometimes every turn. It's part of the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only boundary you need to set is one of respect for all players no matter their choice as long as everyone follows the rules. Also, you don't need to decide on serious or fun, that is also an individual choice. You can't force people to have fun and you can't force someone to be an aggressive player. You just need to choose to play according to the rules, the rest is just good manners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="480" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T00:50:40.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4797" CreationDate="2012-10-18T06:21:36.270" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The following things motivate my 8-year old boy to practice the piano (Not in any particular order):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The love of a song.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The possibility to impress on his peers (I guess girls, but he would never admit it).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The posibility of me learning a piece, or part of a piece faster or better than him. What I'll do when he gets stuck and demotivated is try to learn the piece myself (not being a piano player...). When he notices that I make progress, he forces me off the piano chair in order to practice and prove to me that he learns faster and better (which he does :-).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3337" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-10-18T19:28:47.320" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T19:28:47.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6281" CreationDate="2012-10-18T14:22:35.900" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a fairly common phase, and it happens because food is fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We worked through it in a very simple way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have children in high chairs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have high chairs in middle of kitchen floor with shower curtain spread out across the floor&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they drop food or end up with it on their head leave it until the end of the meal (optionally take pictures to amuse the grandparents) - the shower curtain makes it easy to clean up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they throw food that they then want to eat, point out that it is gone now&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even if you weren't going to, have a little dessert, but point out that you don't get any if your food is on the floor. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound cruel, but works really quickly if dessert is something they want!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T14:22:35.900" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6300" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6301" CreationDate="2012-10-18T15:34:32.173" Score="5" ViewCount="19993" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have read many recommendations about not keeping newborns upright due to skeletal development to support the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I also have (and use) a papoose style carrier in the ErgoBaby (with infant insert).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 3 week old enjoys being carried in this way, and will often sleep very well in the carrier (though we don't let her sleep upright longer than necessary).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be concerned about her skeletal or brain development from being carried upright like this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2765" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T11:53:41.137" Title="How much upright time is acceptable for a newborn?" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6300" CreationDate="2012-10-18T17:22:39.190" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We do carry our baby at home at upright position, either on a carrier or directly held on our arms. My baby boy has almost 5 months old and he is developing as expected. Nothing wrong happened, I noticed that he started doing things before the expected age indeed, and I think it has to do with stimulation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I noticed that he feels tired from being held on our arms after some time and also when he is lying on the bed or is on the car seat cocoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My position is that if done moderately it does no harm, and could even stimulate your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found this really interesting article that backs my position on this: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bobafamily.com/research/strollers-baby-carriers-and-infant-stress/#9&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;strollers, baby carriers and infant stress&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3282" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T17:22:39.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6303" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6304" CreationDate="2012-10-18T18:51:37.697" Score="14" ViewCount="4484" Body="&lt;p&gt;My family just +1'd itself. The newborn sleeps with us in the master bedroom for now, but we will move him when he's a few months old and no longer requires attention several times each night. &#xA;Our plan is to let him share a bedroom with his brother who is 3 years older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That would give us 1x kids' bedroom and 1x kids' play room, and we somehow think/hope/feel that this is better than each one having his own combined play/bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can you share experiences with benefits/drawbacks of either of these options?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own experiences don't really apply because both my wife and I have a twin brother &lt;em&gt;(joke: ...but not the same one, haha)&lt;/em&gt; and we shared a bedroom for the first number of years. I don't know what factors are relevant for different-aged kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-10-18T20:43:59.877" LastActivityDate="2014-10-18T12:45:51.797" Title="One room for each son, or one bedroom and one play room?" Tags="|toddler|infant|bedroom|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6303" CreationDate="2012-10-18T20:26:59.953" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting question, and there's no one answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We chose separate rooms for our two girls, but then they decided a few months ago - at three and five - to move in together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They seem to prefer to sleep in company, but they can keep each other awake sometimes, which led to sleep shortages (and tantrums!) with the younger one until we separated bedtime by 30m. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is certainly nice that they keep each other company in the morning for a little while before descending upon us!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall it has probably made them closer in our case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably want to keep them separate until the younger one is sleeping through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Main thing to remember is that it isn't a permanent decision, don't invest too much in furniture until you see how they get along!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2730" LastEditorUserId="2730" LastEditDate="2014-10-17T16:15:57.440" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T16:15:57.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2816" CreationDate="2012-10-18T22:11:54.453" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work over at DIY.org--a community for kids who make.  Might be a nice online alternative for kids where they can earn badges and skills by completing challenges for a variety of Skills on the site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diy.org&quot;&gt;http://www.diy.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3343" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T22:11:54.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6303" CreationDate="2012-10-18T22:33:59.357" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I still got only one child (another one is now cooking :)) I will share my own experience as a kid. I have brother and sister (me being the youngest) and each of us had separate room. School trips were the first time I shared a room with other person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it was very convenient and gave lots of privacy, at younger ages we don't really need that privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking back, I think it would have been better if I shared a room with my brother; we didn't really bond at any point and such thing could have been the trigger. Of course it might have led to horrible never ending fights but knowing him today I know better than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most our friends also put their children together in the same room and all of them always say how good this is for the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: have them share the bedroom, at least until the older reach the age where privacy starts to matter. (10?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T22:33:59.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6303" CreationDate="2012-10-18T23:20:26.927" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our eldest two (boy and girl two years apart) shared a room until our third child was successfully sleeping and at that point we put her in with her sister, so our boy gets one room and the girls get a bigger room together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We stagger sleep times so our youngest goes to bed around 30 minutes before her sister, and our eldest is about another 30 minutes after that, by which time the girls are both asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As our son is also first up in the morning this means he doesn't disturb his sisters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sharing rooms is grand once they can sleep easily :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-18T23:20:26.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6288" CreationDate="2012-10-19T03:06:47.697" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As previous posters have pinpointed the problem (you really want her to be able to go back to sleep on her own), there's no need for me to belabor that point.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realize that when you mention to your partner that you want to allow your child to CIO (cry it out) you will probably receive a ton of push-back from your partner.  It is not in a Mommy's nature to simply listen to her child scream without some type of intervention--and I can tell you from experience that there will be screaming before all is said and done.  Having said thus, your partner's enthusiasm for the plan will probably not be equal to yours regardless of her level of sleep deprivation, and could land you in the position of being Sleep-Trainer-in-Chief simply because your partner won't be able to stand it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those are my caveats.  Sleep training is never simple or easy and typically results in more sleep deprivation before all is said and done.  If you find that your partner is not on board with this whole CIO thing, there are some other alternatives you can try.  They will not teach your daughter to go back to sleep on her own (she will learn this eventually on her own, I promise you, but just FYI, my 4-year-old will still sometimes spontaneously appear in our bedroom in the middle of the night), but will hopefully allow you and your partner to get &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your daughter is only waking up once per night, you and your partner need to alternate nights.  Unless there is a pressing need for your partner to be the one to get up (like she needs to nurse), alternating nights is an easy way for you both to at least get a solid 8ish hours a few nights a week.  As I told my husband when our oldest was born, &quot;You helped create this child, you will be getting up with him in the middle of the night, too&quot;.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she is waking up multiple times during the night, then you still need to alternate.  Additionally, if your daughter is waking up multiple times during the night, it is unlikely that rolling over is the cause of her wakings every time.  If you can identify some of the other causes of her wakings, then you might reduce the number of times she wakes up anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can bring her back to bed with you.  This probably isn't ideal for you, but if she is a kid who will peacefully fall right back asleep between mom and dad then it might be a good alternative for now just so you can get some sleep.  There is no shame in it; you're just trying to get some sleep--and in the first year of life after a baby joins your house, sleep is elusive and precious.  Some kids love this, some kids don't.  You just have to try it to see what works.&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My disclaimer:  I am not a doctor.  You know your child and whether or not this would be a safe thing to try:  I assume if she can roll over onto her stomach then she can also roll over onto her back from her stomach.  If so, then you might try putting her to bed on her stomach.  That way, there is no rolling over onto her stomach--she's all ready there!  Both my kids LOVE sleeping on their stomachs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Establish a bed-time routine starting now.  It might not be the rolling onto the stomach that upsets her, but the disorientation of not knowing how she got from daddy's arms to her bed.  You know what time she starts getting tired.  Start a bedtime routine that involves her falling asleep in the room where she's going to be sleeping (your room, her room, whatever).  You may have to carry her/walk with her/rock her to get this to happen at first, but you can then start transitioning her over to falling asleep in the bed she's going to be sleeping in.  This can also be helpful if your partner puts her foot down and says &quot;No, absolutely no crying-it-out in this house&quot;.  From here, it should be easier to incorporate some of the more &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-no-tears-methods_1497581.bc?page=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;gentle&lt;/a&gt; sleep training solutions like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The No Cry Sleep Solution&lt;/a&gt;, for example, or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics/fussy-baby/31-ways-get-your-baby-sleep-and-stay-asleep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dr. Sears&lt;/a&gt; who doesn't really advocate sleep training at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-10-19T03:06:47.697" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6263" CreationDate="2012-10-19T16:05:57.990" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that we shouldn’t underestimate our children’s abilities when it comes to language learning. I personally would recommend that you go for all four – your wife would speak only Hungarian to your child; you would speak only German to your child; amongst yourselves, you and your spouse would speak English; and once your child is old enough, she or he would start Swedish daycare. I would recommend this, because it’s what we are doing with our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in English-speaking part of Canada. Since our son was born, I have been speaking only Estonian to him and my husband has been speaking only Spanish to him (I speak Spanish, but my husband doesn’t speak Estonian). My husband and I speak English to each other, including in front of our son, but we never speak it directly to him. Additionally, last month, at 2.5 years of age, our son started part-time Mandarin daycare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far it is working out just fine. Estonian is my son’s strongest language (my mother, who also only speaks Estonian, is the one who takes care of him while we work), followed shortly by Spanish. He understands both equally well, but just expresses himself better in Estonian. As for English, it is quite impressive to see how much he has picked up just by listening to us (and TV, I suppose). Just earlier this week he surprised us by counting to ten in English all by himself (he already knows how to count to ten in Estonian and Spanish). Also, when our English-speaking friends talk English to him, he seems to understand them pretty good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for Mandarin, he has had very little exposure to it as of yet (only one month, two days a week), so he can only say “Ni hao” (which means “Hi”) for the time being, but his teachers say that he tries to repeat other Mandarin words as well and has adjusted well. Also, we noticed a significant boost in all his other languages right after he started his daycare. I guess it makes sense, since what is language learning if not an exercise for the brain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, his speech has been delayed, but I know monolingual children with speech delay as well, so I think it has to do more with every child’s individuality. Surprisingly our son is not mixing up the languages, but even if he was, would it matter at this age? Not really, it’s not like he is about to give a presidential speech or go for a job interview in the next couple of years…&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your particular case I think that speaking Hungarian and German to your child is a must. You should also take advantage of your Swedish-speaking surroundings – even if you end up moving to another country, your child will have gotten a great foundation in Swedish should she or he ever wish to pursue Swedish language learning! And as for English, speaking it just in front of your child to each other guarantees that your child is exposed to English daily. Plus, there is such a great variety of books, CDs and DVDs available in English if you wanted to provide additional support to her or his English language learning; or you could attend an English speaking playgroup once a week (we did that for our son with Spanish and it really made a difference for him!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long story short – if you are in such a perfect situation for engaging your child in four languages at an early age, why not go for it? Your child will thank you for it later, for sure!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3345" LastActivityDate="2012-10-19T16:05:57.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2611" CreationDate="2012-10-20T16:58:35.190" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a dental hygienist and I have used an electric tb with my little dude from the start. He loves the vibration on his teething gumline. He just turned one and has 4 teeth. The key is to do what works for your individual child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3347" LastActivityDate="2012-10-20T16:58:35.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4303" CreationDate="2012-10-21T10:44:31.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I second the other answers suggestion of looking for expats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few notes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your kids will forget a second (even first language) if it is not reinforced. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They learn language (and other behaviours) to talk to their peers even more than their parents. This means that &lt;em&gt;there is very little you can do directly&lt;/em&gt; but also that &lt;em&gt;you can be &lt;strong&gt;very effective&lt;/strong&gt; by influencing who their peers are&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately, English is cool for children in Germany. So, if you get them exposed to English-speaking kids, then they will try hard to speak English with them. Arranging play-dates with expats is one way. Major cities might have organised children activities in English too (which might lead to other, more informal, play-dates). Another idea is to vacation in an English-speaking country and give them opportunities to interact with other kids there (if you can afford it, of course, but you might be keeping contacts in US which make it easier and cheaper to set up than it would be for others).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is based on my reading of research on the subject (I recommend this book, by the way: &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1400023343&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;amazon link&quot;&gt;Raising a Bilingual Child&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="27" LastEditorUserId="27" LastEditDate="2012-10-21T19:56:32.933" LastActivityDate="2012-10-21T19:56:32.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6316" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6319" CreationDate="2012-10-21T16:36:15.543" Score="9" ViewCount="551" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're expecting our first child and trying to make decisions about what parenting trends to follow. I've been reading about teaching sign language to babies. It seems like the jury is out on whether it actually helps the child develop language abilities, with the majority of research saying that it probably is beneficial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm curious about the emotional benefits of teaching a baby sign language. I admit that I already believe that teaching a baby sign language will make him less frustrated since he'll be able to communicate sooner, and for that reason alone I'll probably want to teach it to him. I haven't been able to find any studies on this topic, though. All I can find is people who claim without citation that it's good for the baby's emotional health. It seems sensible, but I want to be sure about this before we commit to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3348" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-03T12:05:50.777" LastActivityDate="2019-06-03T12:05:50.777" Title="Does teaching your child sign language improve his emotional health?" Tags="|infant|research|emotional-development|sign-language|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6317" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-22T04:41:53.393" Score="7" ViewCount="32758" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our child is ready to switch from a five-point harness child car seat to a car booster seat, and we looked at a couple of models in a store. We saw one model that has clips on it to clip into the anchors that the five-point harness uses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any point to this? The difference is that a five-point harness replaces the regular seat belts and must be strongly connected to the car's frame. A booster seat just holds the seat belt in a safe position on the child's body. I don't think there's any tension between the car and the booster seat in a crash, so why would it need to be anchored?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone seen any reliable information on this feature?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3353" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-19T01:39:00.543" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T02:36:51.763" Title="Is there any point to booster car seats with anchors?" Tags="|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-03-05T07:59:13.893" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6317" CreationDate="2012-10-22T08:34:53.907" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Imagine what happens in a frontal crash - an unanchored object will continue forwards at the speed it was travelling (say 70mph if we are talking about a UK motorway).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So with the seatbelt holding the child, if the car came to an instant halt, the booster would effectively hit the child at 70mph in the back of the knees. (Yes I know this is a huge simplification, but it shows the principle)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the booster anchored as well, it will decelerate at the same rate as the child, so this impact will not occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boosters are pretty light, but as kinetic energy is 1/2 x Mass x (Velocity squared) anything you can do to reduce that v-squared really helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T08:34:53.907" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6316" CreationDate="2012-10-22T10:27:45.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may be confusing happiness or satisfaction with emotional health, the two are not the same things. Emotional health is another name for mental health, where good is simply the absence of a disorder. What you are really asking is if teaching your child sign language is likely to prevent your child from having mental health problems, the answer to which is almost certainly no, and there are no studies on whether teaching babies sign language is likely to prevent future mental illness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think what you're really asking is whether teaching a baby sign language is likely to help your child's development, and there is some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babysignlanguage.com/basics/research/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;research&lt;/a&gt; which seems to say there is some minor benefit for some children. The link I included has links to three papers on the subject, but the site is actually a sales site which wants you to buy their baby sign kit so please be aware that is is showing the research in the best possible light. I also have no experience with any products, and would suggest using the myriad of free resources on the web rather than spending any money on baby signing. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thepsychologist.org.uk/archive/archive_home.cfm?volumeID=21&amp;amp;editionID=159&amp;amp;ArticleID=1330&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This link&lt;/a&gt; is more balanced and in-depth, and indicates that the benefit is limited in children without disability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean that it's a bad idea though, far from it. Every child is different, your child may enjoy it and find it empowering, and it may be an enjoyable activity which gets you communicating sooner than you ordinarily would. Or you could have a case like me and my son, where I tried to teach him sign language and he just started speaking instead. I made a fist in my cheek and said apple, then he just said &quot;ab-uh&quot;, and that was the end of sign language!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T10:27:45.387" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6320" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-22T14:31:29.800" Score="11" ViewCount="31220" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 5 years old (will be 6 at the end of February) and lately has wanted to learn to read.  However, I've become a bit concerned because it seems as though she has absolutely no memory for letters or words.  We can point to one letter, tell her what it is and what it sounds like, and have her repeat it.  After doing a second letter and going back to the first, she doesn't know it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last night a book we were trying to read had the word &quot;inside&quot;.  I covered part to make just &quot;i-n&quot; and we worked through the sounds to get to the word &quot;in&quot;.  Then I covered that part and we'd work through the sounds to get to the word &quot;side&quot;.  Then I'd go back to the first and she wouldn't remember it.  I could switch back and forth repeatedly and she never remembered the word.  The word &quot;inside&quot; appears repeatedly throughout the book and she never once seemed to remember it, always having to work through it anew.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the same book, we worked out the word &quot;going&quot; -- the only word on the page.  Turn the page and the first word is again &quot;going&quot; but she didn't recognize it and we had to sound it out from scratch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has me somewhat concerned.  I know that 5-years is still pretty young but this seems wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What it is not:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is not &quot;slow&quot;.  She speaks 3 languages (French, English, German).  She's observant and curious, asking a lot of great &quot;why&quot; questions about how the world works.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's not physically incapable.   She rides a bike and scooter, and skis like nobody's business.  Yesterday she was helping me build a tool-box and had no problem repeatedly putting the wrench on the bolts and tightening them up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She doesn't seem to have bad eye-sight.  She had no trouble aligning the wrench with the bolts or reading the small, engraved &quot;10mm&quot; on the wrench to make sure she had the correct one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She doesn't seem to have a bad memory in general.  We play games like &quot;Memory&quot; or &quot;Lucky Catch&quot; (which we lovingly call &quot;boot to the head&quot; -- you'll understand if you've played it) and she does quite well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're planning to take her to an pediatric opthamologist to double-check her eyes and play a few more games while paying more attention to &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; she plays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So...  Any ideas on what this is?  Or am I just reading too much into it?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last piece of information that may or may not be related...  She claims to be having some trouble at school (kindergarten) when she has to touch an icon and drag it from the top of a big screen to the bottom.  All I know is what she has said -- I've never seen the activity myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 2014-09-24:&lt;/strong&gt; My daughter is now 7.5 years and starting grade 2.  When we read together she does quite well; it's rare that she doesn't recognize a world she had to work out just the page before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 2019-05-23:&lt;/strong&gt; Now 12, she's doing very well.  She reads easily in both English (&lt;em&gt;Ender's Game&lt;/em&gt; at the moment) and French and scores in the high 90's on reading comprehension tests.  Her biggest struggle is that she has to understand everything so words that she doesn't know frustrate her and can inhibit her desire to read.  She won't just ignore the word, leaving the rest of the words to communicate the the idea.  This is not inconsistent with the rest of her personality.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2019-05-23T21:13:19.437" LastActivityDate="2019-05-23T21:13:19.437" Title="5yr Old Has Trouble With Letters &amp; Reading" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|reading|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6320" CreationDate="2012-10-22T15:00:51.730" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's impossible to say one way or the other as it could be learning difficulties, or she could be perfectly normal. From the tone and language of your post if I had to make a guess I'd say that her interest in learning to read may instead be your interest in her learning to read projected onto her, and that her inability could very well be lack of genuine interest or her being pushed too hard. I know that when my kids show interest I can sometimes be too zealous in trying to shovel coal into the furnace of learning, and it can often be counter-productive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think you're reading too much into it, I'd recommend you simply back off some and let things happen at their own pace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T15:00:51.730" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4303" CreationDate="2012-10-22T16:18:56.203" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Germany, France and other European countries are very &quot;xenophobic&quot; when it comes to foreign languages -- Even foreign TV shows are dubbed into local language and people can spend their lives without being exposed to foreign languages. You are the kid's only hope of retaining his English. If you will not speak English to him, it will be lost for sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have an example involving a three year old child from my clos family. My wife's father was born in Germany and lived there until he was 3 as a refugee of WW2 in the years after the war. Once his parents left Germany for good, only the surviving remnants of a larger family, they refused to speak German to him ever again and wiped Germany from their past. They immigrated to the new State of Israel in 1949, adopted a new language, Hebrew, and never spoke German again. So, he went from German as a first and dominant language, to a point where today he doesn't even remember he spoke it, and doesn't speak a word of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's father had an advantage your child will not have, even though he lived in Israel which was then full of native German speakers who immigrated out of Germany and Austria, he still could not preserve that language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastEditorUserId="601" LastEditDate="2012-10-22T16:23:58.087" LastActivityDate="2012-10-22T16:23:58.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6320" CreationDate="2012-10-22T21:02:25.830" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is true that most children have letter identification down by 5 years of age, and some know basic sight words and the sounds letters make.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounding out words can be helpful, and I think it is probably what most parents remember about learning how to read, but it comes after some other important steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we learn to read, we learn how to decode text.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, &lt;strong&gt;children must understand that words are groups of letters separated by spaces on a page.  We read from left to right and top to bottom&lt;/strong&gt;.  At this step, they should be able to follow the flow of text even though they can't read it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, &lt;strong&gt;children need to learn that letters represent sounds and they need to practice hearing those sounds in words&lt;/strong&gt;.  You can help demonstrate this and teach some useful literacy skills by playing games with initial sounds, like &quot;let's point to the things that start with B on the dinner table.&quot;  Reinforce the connection between the initial sounds and the letter.  Then do the same thing with text in books, and make sure she understands that she can use the pictures to help her decode the text.  &quot;See, this is a word that starts with B. Is there something in the picture that starts with B?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time she acquires these skills, she will start picking up sight words.  Nouns and little words like articles and prepositions usually come first, followed by verbs.  Remember to pick text with simple sentence structures that are easy to understand and lots of repetition of structures (like Dr. Seuss).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that it is possible that while she might recognize letters, she may be having trouble associating the &quot;correct English&quot; sounds with the letters, or she might have trouble retrieving specific English vocabulary (in other words, she is having difficulty &lt;em&gt;hearing sounds in words&lt;/em&gt;), but &lt;strong&gt;it may also be that you are choosing words that are conceptually difficult&lt;/strong&gt;.  She can use visual cues to pick out &quot;ball&quot; for instance, but figuring out &quot;inside&quot; is much harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After she has letters, sounds, and some sight words, she will probably start picking up sounding out on her own. I have more detailed suggestions &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6055/should-i-encourage-my-2-year-old-to-attempt-to-read-his-own-stories/6071#6071&quot;&gt;in this other answer&lt;/a&gt; that might also help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wanted to add, since you are understandably quite concerned about her lack of memory for words across pages, that you read effortlessly—you immediately recognize the word &quot;ball&quot; from one page to the next. You don't spell out the letters, or sound it out in your head; it is a sight word for you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, your daughter as a beginning reader sees &quot;ball&quot; as a bunch of symbols that she has to decode.  She probably hasn't yet reached the point where she immediately recognizes that she is looking at an identical set of symbols from one page to the next.  She has to stop, figure out the symbols, remember the sounds, and then put them together and listen to them to finally get to what that word is.  She may remember that she just read the word &quot;ball&quot; a minute ago, but the association will be between what she heard herself say then and what she is saying now, not what she &lt;em&gt;sees&lt;/em&gt;, i.e., not the symbols on the page.  That might account for the deficit that you are observing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that is the case, then you can help her by first figuring out the word with her, and then reading it in context and having her confirm that the word makes sense. This helps solidify reading comprehension skills: Words convey meaning, and sentences tell a story. In other words, text on a page is not random. It has a point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T19:47:51.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6320" CreationDate="2012-10-23T02:02:13.963" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I second KitFox.  I think you need to back it down to more simple words.  Not only is &quot;inside&quot; a compound word, it also incorporates a long &quot;i&quot; sound with a silent e.  That is too much for a five-year-old who is just starting to learn to read.  My son will be five in February, and he knows all his letters, knows the sounds the letters make, and a handful of sight-words, and he still confuses the sounds of the vowels--especially the &quot;e&quot; and the &quot;i&quot; and the &quot;a&quot; and the &quot;o&quot; short vowel sounds.  We just keep practicing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure she knows her letters; make sure she knows the sounds those letters make.  If she's lacking in either of those, then you need to start there.  Really, those are the basic building blocks of reading.  I think KitFox's suggestions are excellent and I can't think of anything to add to them.  My primary suggestion is to determine what she knows, determine what she needs to know, and figure out how you're going to help her get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I wonder if it's not possible that her ability to speak three languages is confusing her a little.  The English and French pronunciation of vowels, for example, is completely different.  Maybe not, but it's a thought.  My kids only speak English so I have zero experience with that kind of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:  I found a couple of short reading-readiness assessments that might be a good jumping-off point for you:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://specialed.about.com/od/literacy/a/read35.htm&quot;&gt;Checklist for Readers ages 3-5&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://specialed.about.com/od/literacy/a/46read.htm&quot;&gt;Reading Disability Checklist ages 4-6&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://specialed.about.com/od/literacy/a/read57.htm&quot;&gt;Checklist for Readers ages 5-7&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I threw in the last one simply because she falls in the age range for it, but it definitely seems to be a list for kids who are closer to age 7 or very advanced 5-year-olds, so if she doesn't meet much of the criteria listed on that particular list, I certainly wouldn't freak out about it.  Granted one assessment isn't 100% accurate, but it will give you a starting point and allow you to identify areas of weakness in your daughter's reading readiness.  If there's only one or two things she isn't doing, it's probably because you and she simply need to focus on that specific skill, reinforcing and practicing it.  If there's several things she's not doing, then you might need to have her assessed for a learning or neurological disability.  Hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-10-23T17:35:22.197" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T17:35:22.197" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4303" CreationDate="2012-10-23T05:18:57.977" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've not been brave enough to try to teach my son German, my best non-native language, but our son is growing up as a bilingual Japanese-speaking child in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case, we have the advantage that mom is a native speaker of Japanese, but we've observed that this is not enough; several parents we know have children 3-10 years old that simply refuse to speak Japanese, even though they can understand most of what mom or dad say in Japanese, simply because that's not what their friends are using.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, mom is closely connected with other Japanese-speaking moms around our city, and this has reinforced the value of speaking Japanese, because so many friends of the same age as our son are also speaking Japanese. I'm convinced this is the single most important thing for retaining and improving the non-dominant language. It's absolutely no problem for our son to learn the dominant language where we live; my son speaks an odd mix of English and Japanese to me (he's only 2, so he's not completely code switching yet), but it does take some social reinforcement to make the non-dominant language seem worthwhile to a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were going to move back to Japan, the single most useful thing to help our son's English skills would be to develop a network of native English-speaking friends with children. I'd make sure we spent at least some time each week reinforcing those friendships with other kids and creating opportunities for them to play and eat together. I'd emphasize the same thing in the unlikely event that we moved to Germany; send the children to the local schools if practical, but make sure they have a mix of Japanese-speaking and English-speaking friends that they see frequently (and perhaps somewhat separately from their friends that are only speakers of one language).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1105" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T05:18:57.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6326" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-23T07:13:13.253" Score="4" ViewCount="1675" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a recent delivery in my family, the lady has to undergo an operation. The doctor initially said that the birth will be through normal delivery, but at a very last stage she said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We tried our best to avoid operation, but we are helpless as the&#xA;  baby's head size is much more than the passage for bringing him out.&#xA;  The baby's head is stuck in between the two bones, above the opening.&#xA;  The opening is wide enough now (approx 10 cm), which is wide enough to&#xA;  bring the baby's head out side, but the issue is before that opening&#xA;  the passage is very narrow as the two bones are very close and it is&#xA;  impossible to widen the gap between these two bones- shall we apply&#xA;  force there?. If we force the baby to come out through this passage,&#xA;  we fear that we might damage the baby's brain. also we cannot wait any&#xA;  more because the baby is now not in the fluid, we broke that while&#xA;  trying for normal delivery. so we are going for operation now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctors also gave the lady some injections for giving her pains-induced delivery.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The lady said she felt immense pain because of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also the lady had gone for ultrasound several times, and the doctor herself said everything was normal.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Why are cases of normal delivery reducing day by day. Till about 10 to 15 yrs back we used to hardly hear about birth by operations. But now this is very common. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it true that the doctors might go for operation because it is easier for them (i.e  for doctors), and they can make more money?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Up to what extent the doctors argument about the proportionally narrow passage can be true? Is there no way to bypass/avoid/widen this passage? Why such cases were not prevalent 10-15 years back? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The induced delivery pain is more than the normal pain?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Post birth the mother and the baby  both are fine. But what are the risk involved post operation, and what best can be done to avoid such births in  future (e.g some exercises?).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can see something fishy in Doctors arguments (though, I am not a biology student). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;One of the argument I am getting from the first 4 answers is: &quot;now a days bigger babies are born as compared to earlier, while the women hips are not widening at that proportion&quot; and thus c-section is the only way for delivery in most cases.  Can someone please put some authentic references in support of this argument?    In fact I have read the opposite that 100s of years back people used be taller as compared to now, and they lived longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3359" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T17:18:12.873" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T17:18:12.873" Title="Why was this c-section necessary?" Tags="|birth|c-section|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6327" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-23T08:24:00.300" Score="4" ViewCount="234" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, someone I know asked his foster child why he was in foster care. The carer didn't know why the child was in care and it was just in regular conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This person I know's wife was all mad at him for asking that. Is it wrong to ask about a foster child's history?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3360" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2012-10-23T09:11:45.763" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T17:59:55.350" Title="Is it wrong to ask a foster child about his history?" Tags="|foster-parenting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6326" CreationDate="2012-10-23T08:32:07.780" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, congratulations to the mother! To answer your questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As birth operations go up the rate of babies and mothers dying in childbirth goes down. Also, the rate of infant brain damage and birth-related injuries goes down. Be glad of this, without the operation the chances are good the child would have died or had permanent brain damage&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There have been some cases where doctors go for caesarians for those reasons, but those are usually elective, in other words, before labor starts. Generally when a c-section is done after hours of labor it is an absolute emergency. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It &lt;strong&gt;was&lt;/strong&gt; prevalent, the techniques for dealing with it were much more primitive and less successful leading quite often to the death of the child and/or mother&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yes, the reason that inducement hurts more is that the drugs they use to induce labor bring it on all at once. In a normal labor the pain builds up and the woman's body has a chance to ramp up natural pain-reduction mechanisms, but with induced labors the pain all slams in at once. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That's two questions really. As for risks post c-section operation other than infection the main recovery issue is that during the operation the abdominal muscles are cut through and have to heal. For at least 3 weeks the woman is unable to lift or carry anything, including the baby. As for what can be done to avoid these types of births in the future, nothing. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Humans have evolved big brains, and big brains need big heads. Human heads have evolved larger at a faster rate than womens' hips, so human women have many problems getting their baby's heads out. While this led to more deaths in childbirth the increased intelligence of the surviving children meant many more of them survived to procreate, so evolution selected even bigger heads. Now our big brains have enabled complex technology and surgical techniques to save many of the children that would otherwise die, taking evolution out of the equation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T08:32:07.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6327" CreationDate="2012-10-23T08:38:11.767" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, it is wrong to ask the child himself/herself until they reach proper age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child should always feel welcome, wanted and protected. Being moved to a foster family usually means his former family did not give him any of those, and the last thing he/she needs is to be reminded of that or even worse having to explain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the one adapting the child want information he should ask the social-service agency, &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T08:38:11.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6326" CreationDate="2012-10-23T08:54:01.613" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a LOT of questions there. I'm going to handle the most important one first..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;5) Post birth the mother and the baby both are fine. But what are the&#xA;  risk involved post operation, and what best can be done to avoid such&#xA;  births in future (e.g some exercises?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kegel8.co.uk/articles/pelvic-floor-exercise.html?gclid=CIrevsnWlrMCFcqY4AodrlgArg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Kegel exercises&lt;/a&gt; are the officially approved solution. As you might imagine, this is just strengthening the muscles through which the baby passes. But that's for the future. Right now, the risks are basically the same as after any operation (e.g. infection, rupturing, bleeding) and after your first childbirth (exhaustion, complete upending of entire life, post-natal depression/psychosis, soreness, concerns that you're &quot;doing it wrong&quot;).&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For the operation-based issues, make sure you get checked regularly and monitor stuff like temperatures and infections in the mother. For the childbirth stuff, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/513/how-do-you-cope-in-the-first-few-months&quot;&gt;see other existing questions&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;1) Why are cases of normal delivery reducing day by day. Till about 10&#xA;  to 15 yrs back we used to hardly hear about birth by operations. But&#xA;  now this is very common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You hear more about this now because Western media's &lt;em&gt;started talking about birth in a more realistic manner&lt;/em&gt;. It used to be that, in order to provoke drama, women in film would give birth almost anywhere apart from a hospital. In order to avoid squeamishness, births would involve significantly less blood, mucus and poop than the reality. So the only place you'd see a caesarean is on shows like ER, which again, ramped up the drama making it seem like a special event, rather than a routine procedure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the reason you're hearing about it more now is because &lt;em&gt;you've&lt;/em&gt; moved from &quot;single person&quot; to &quot;expectant couple&quot;, and so more stuff about birth is discussed anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theunnecesarean.com/blog/2010/3/18/united-states-cesarean-rates-by-year-1970-to-2007.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;If you look at the charts&lt;/a&gt;, while it's gone up a &lt;em&gt;bit&lt;/em&gt; recently, it's been pretty static for the last 40 years. The big jump was when caesareans became seen as less of a &quot;last-resort&quot; around the 70's, following on from years of improving surgical treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;2) Is it true that the doctors might go for operation because it is&#xA;  easier for them (i.e for doctors), and they can make more money?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question neatly combines being too cynical and not cynical enough. You're cynical enough to suspect a doctor doing a potentially dangerous operation (and all operations carry risk) purely for financial gain. I seriously doubt this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, if you want to go cynical, in terms of cost-benefit analysis, the &quot;easier&quot; route is to allow your wife to give birth naturally, as the doctor can't be blamed for that. And as natural birth takes &lt;em&gt;ages&lt;/em&gt;, with significantly less work on the doctor's part (most of the time they're not even in the room), they'd probably make more money per amount of work that way. But this really isn't how doctors work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;3) Up to what extent the doctors argument about the proportionally&#xA;  narrow passage can be true? Is there no way to bypass/avoid/widen this&#xA;  passage? Why such cases were not prevalent 10-15 years back?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, this is true. Humans have abnormally large brains, which implies abnormally large heads. An 10 pound baby going through a 5-foot woman is &lt;em&gt;obviously&lt;/em&gt; a potential risk. And while they could theoretically apply something to relax the muscles of the woman, that would dramatically reduce the chances of a successful labour, which depends on those muscles contracting and relaxing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As stated above, this happened all the time 10 years ago. Either the woman got medical treatment, or she suffered massively, potentially being near-crippled for a certain amount of time, or at least one somebody died. While an understanding of clean environments was the biggest leap in protecting against the worst of this stuff, and the culture of natural vs. medical shifts back and forth, once something's going wrong, it's going wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, people simply didn't talk much about this 10 years ago, and they talk more about it now. Certainly they unburden themselves &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; more to first-time expectant parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;4) The induced delivery pain is more than the normal pain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On behalf of my wife, who was induced, &lt;em&gt;YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT&lt;/em&gt;. It's more intense, because they've directly applied a chemical that is normally regulated by the woman's body. Induction is normally a choice made when there are potential risks, and waiting on the natural course is more likely to lead to a stillbirth than the alternative. It's all about gauging the probabilities, and doctors do this by looking at the results when it's gone wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-12-17T15:34:20.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6326" CreationDate="2012-10-23T09:03:57.177" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can understand your worry about this situation, but from what I read in your question, the doctors really did the right thing. Let me try to address your specific questions, but please note that I am just another father and not a doctor so this is not expert advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children have been gaining birth weight and size for several decades. The simple reason is our improved welfare as a society: better nourishment, better health, bigger children. We also grow taller as adults and live longer as a result.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I highly doubt that doctors would prefer an operation. Every surgery and every anesthetization includes a list of risks to the patient. In the case of a c-section, the risk is double. The well-being of the patient always has priority. (I guess every business has its bad exceptions but that is a very small part.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The pelvis has an opening for the child to pass through. There is no way to bypass this without a c-section. During normal birth, this opening becomes softer and wider but even so, it still has its limits. See my point #1; childrens' birth size are increasing but not the size of the mother - at least not at the same rate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I cannot answer this because I don't have enough information to understand your question.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Post-op risks are very similar to that of any other stomach surgery - mostly infections, and the risk of tearing open the stitches due to wrong movements or lifting too much weight. Don't lift anything heavy, and be very careful how to handle the body - just the motion of getting out of bed needs to be with care. Keep in mind that the stomach muscles are not in their right place yet; they moved apart, to the sides of the body, to allow the big belly to protrude. They need some time (weeks) to move back to their normal &quot;six-pack&quot; position - failure to care for this might prevent them from moving back fully, permanently leaving the mother with very poor strength.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;There are pre-natal exercises that can help, but they address the tissues and muscles, not the bones. If the skeletal birth canal is too narrow then future births will have to be c-sections too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T09:03:57.177" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6327" CreationDate="2012-10-23T09:08:26.283" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it sounds a bit insensitive if it was asked that plainly, and I can imagine it would be a sore subject with most foster children, so I'm with the mother on this one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said if I was going to be a foster parent I'd want to know what happened to the child as the more I know the better I'd be able to help. The foster agency should be the ones to supply that information though, not the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to feel loved and cared for more than anything else. In truth, what happened before is not nearly as important as what happens in the future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T09:08:26.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6326" CreationDate="2012-10-23T13:53:43.093" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I did not plan for or want a cesarian section, my child was born via one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;1.Why are cases of normal delivery reducing day by day. Till about 10 to 15 yrs back we used to hardly hear about birth by operations. But now this is very common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find a lot of answers to this question depending on who you ask.  The natural childbirth community may variously tell you that it is fear of lawsuits, laziness on the part of the doctors, problems caused by earlier interventions (inductions via pitocin, epidurals, etc.), or an improper idea on the part of the medical community as to how birth &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; progress.  I'm no expert in this area, but I'd add one more possibility that I definitely saw in my own case - doctors want mothers and babies to live.  Are emergency c-sections always necessary when they are performed?  I'd guess not.  Are they better than the worst-case alternative?  Yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;2.Is it true that the doctors might go for operation because it is easier for them (i.e for doctors), and they can make more money?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Skeptics would say yes.  In the days of largely group care by OBs who get to go home at the end of their shift regardless I'm not sure the easier argument holds, but one labor and delivery nurse I know definitely dealt with cases in the 1980s where a doctor would declare failure to progress (which is different than what happened to your relative) so that a c-section could be performed and the doctor could go home.  If one wants to avoid a doctor who might tend towards doing a c-section simply ask during early pregnancy what the doctor's c-section rate is and pick the doctor with the lowest rate.  Also make sure you pick a doctor you trust.  Then you won't be wondering if your doctor did a c-section just to make an extra $2000 off of your insurance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Up to what extent the doctors argument about the proportionally narrow passage can be true? Is there no way to bypass/avoid/widen this passage? Why such cases were not prevalent 10-15 years back?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several exercises used within the natural childbirth community both before and during delivery to help properly position the baby.  Lamaze classes teach such activities.  For anyone interested in a normal delivery I would definitely recommend looking into them.  However the modern medical community does seem to be moving more and more towards some of these positioning techniques (for example having women in a different position other than flat on their backs during the pushing phase) and c-sections are still sometimes necessary.  Even in the natural childbirth community there will always be c-sections.  There have actually been c-sections since at least the time of ancient Rome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;4.The induced delivery pain is more than the normal pain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absolutely yes.  Induced contractions (at least those induced by pitocin) are stronger than those the body would naturally produce on its own.  It is fairly rare that a woman will be induced and not have some form of medicinal pain management to help her deal with the pain, although it happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;5.Post birth the mother and the baby both are fine. But what are the risk involved post operation, and what best can be done to avoid such births in future (e.g some exercises?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Post-operation there are some risks for both mother and baby.  A c-section baby usually has more fluid in the lungs because they do not have the compression of contractions to help remove it.  Regular suctioning with a bulb aspirator takes care of this.  The mother must make sure to take it very easy and follow doctor's orders, which usually include limiting items lifted and limiting use of stairs.  A c-section is major abdominal surgery and should not be taken lightly.  However as long as a woman is in relatively good shape before the c-section and the doctor performing the operation was skilled the recovery can be fairly smooth.  There is a very small higher risk of uterine rupture with future deliveries and if I remember right some types of induction are contra-indicated by a prior c-section.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for avoiding c-sections due to a narrow birth canal/improper positioning, I highly recommend looking into Lamaze.  Where possible also avoid induction and epidurals, which have a proven higher rate of emergency c-sections.  Also some doctors have a time frame which they require between a prior c-section and future conception before they will allow an attempt at a subsequent normal delivery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T13:53:43.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6327" CreationDate="2012-10-23T14:23:49.877" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two different sets of friends who are currently going through the foster parenting approval process via two different methods.  Both groups emphasize that foster parents should not probe the child with questions about their history, but simply listen if the child talks about it on his/her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most US states will happily give you the background of the child if you ask them, but unless the child brings it up, the foster parent(s) should NEVER initiate the conversation.  The goal is to create a loving, comforting environment, and probing a child with questions about his/her life prior to coming to the foster parent is usually not very comforting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, by the time the child gets situated in a foster home, they've all ready been interviewed and asked about their lives by the agency who removed them from their home, child psychologists, and possibly police.  Do you really want to dredge all that up for them again? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T14:23:49.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6327" CreationDate="2012-10-23T17:59:55.350" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first reason not to ask the child is because they probably don't know the real reason.  From their point of view, the answer is most likely something like, &quot;Because the policeman won't let me live with my mom anymore.&quot;  They are often confused because they get different stories from their family than from the social worker.  Kids don't always get immediately removed from a home, and their parents will tell them all sorts of lies between when the social services investigation starts and the kids get removed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second reason not to ask is that it won't help.  It takes a long time to fully open up, and the child doesn't know what information will be useful anyway.  For example, one of my former foster children freaked out once when an adult who was preparing lunch innocuously moved toward her with a kitchen knife in her hand.  That's not something the social worker told us to look out for, and my foster daughter certainly didn't volunteer it.  Things like that just come out as you get to know them over several months.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's why the previous foster parents are the best source of information about a child's fears, triggers, and behavioral issues, far better than the social worker.  Good social workers know that and will arrange a meeting.  If they don't, you should ask.  If you're the first foster parent, you just have to figure out as you go how to best help your kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's really no different than parenting your biological children.  It's not like the doctor who delivered our daughter told us she would be scared of elevators and what to do about it.  Parenting of any kind is always a work in progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T17:59:55.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6316" CreationDate="2012-10-23T23:48:31.807" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are all sorts of advantages to teaching your child ASL that especially apply during the first two years of life.  These advantages include an average (spoken) vocabularly larger than that of non-signing peers of the same age as well as an even larger vocabulary in sign than their non-signing peers have, earlier and clearer communication development (on average) and even earlier spoken communication (again on average). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only one of these advantages related at all to emotional well-being, is that they can communicate sooner which means fewer temper tantrums before they can verbally communicate fully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Research is showing that most advantages to baby sign go away after the child is between two and three years of age - even the signifcant increases in early vocabulary for most kids listed in the first paragraph.  The other kids simply catch up sometime between the ages of two and three.  However, I still recommend it because it was enriching for all of us during the infant and toddler stages.  My daughter was able to tell us her favorite animal was an elephant before she was 16 months!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you use ASL instead of baby sign and keep it up even after your child is speaking fully, there are a few further advantages that are lasting.  For starters, your child has the potential of becoming fluent in ASL and being bi-lingual in this way (a huge andvantage no matter how you slice it - read &quot;The Bilingual Edge&quot; for more details about advantages of multiple languages for kids) but you have to be pretty comitted to it to make this work.  If you live in an area where there is a deaf community your child may have access to friends in the community it would be hard for him/her to converse with otherwise - admitedly, there is a smaller liklihood this advantage applies, but worth considering if it does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To use ASL instead of baby sign.  Use videos from the &quot;My Baby Can Sign&quot; and &quot;Signing Times&quot; series instead of other signing videos.  You can also use ASLpro.com as a wonderful translating resource. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm so sorry I can no longer site sources.  I did a lot of reading on the matter about six years ago and though I read multiple studies to back up the information in paragraphs 1-3, I just don't remember what I read.  Most of my sources were print sources as well (making it hard to include links), but those facts do come from genuine research and not sales sites.  I hope this is helpful anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-10-23T23:55:49.910" LastActivityDate="2012-10-23T23:55:49.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6262" CreationDate="2012-10-24T00:35:23.060" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I want to express that I know this is &lt;strong&gt;hard&lt;/strong&gt; but as parents there are certain times when taking a deep breath and taking a little time off isn't a luxury but a requirement.  Get some time away from it all to decompress a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, I would like to stress Brian White's point that making sure you listen and understand how he is feeling regularly is super important.  In fact, it is the best way to address your son's concern that you love the other son more.  Listen, listen listen. Then, tell him what you understood from what you listened to.  Paraphrase him. Knowing you are listening will help build his confidence and sense of self worth as well as his ability to listen to you in exchange.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My final suggestion is a little different and will sound crazy at first but please read on because it isn't what it sounds: Stop punishing him.&lt;/strong&gt;  I do not mean to just let him get away with it, instead what I mean is, &lt;strong&gt;make connections between his behavior and a natural consequence&lt;/strong&gt;.  For example, if he were simply a guest at your house and had bad manners when he came over to eat, you'd probably not invite him back.  To apply this reality to your own family dinner table (where he needs to be invited back), if he is using bad manners (which includes complaining).   At the first complaint simply remove his food and say, &quot;oh, I'm so sorry you don't like it.  Let me get it away from you.&quot; Don't offer him anything else either though.  He can go to bed hungry or figure out how to reheat his dinner on his own later.  It sounds mean, but he won't starve and he'll get the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he doesn't set the table or help with dinner, simply don't serve him food.  Say, &quot;Oh, you wanted to eat too? - well since you didn't do your part in our family community today, I thought you were saying you didn't want participate in family activity&quot;  No warnings, just do it.  He'll whine, say it isn't fair and make all sorts of a fuss, but calmly say over and over again that everyone has their job to do in order for it to work for everyone to enjoy dinner together.  Again, he won't starve if he misses dinner now and again and he is learning an important lesson - He may be a prince (mine is certainly a princess), but even a prince has his responsibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same goes for other chores.  The &quot;punishment must fit the crime.&quot;  If you've asked him to dust the family room and he didn't do it (so you did, cuz you didn't want to nag or wait any longer), he doesn't get to use the family room.  &quot;Sorry, I know.  I agree that it is really sad and we will miss you during our family movie viewing.  You should be with us, but only people that help keep it clean, help to make it a mess again&quot;.  Don't be sarcastic or biting at all, be genuine but make it clear that the rule still applies, &quot;Maybe next time you'll have done your share and we'll be so glad you are back&quot;  You get the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it takes him three hours to clean his room.  So be it.  If taking so long means he can't go on an outing with you, be sad about it, &quot;Wow, what a bummer you'll miss out.  We really want you to come.  I'm so sad you didn't get your room cleaned&quot;.  It sounds like you are already applying a &quot;first things first&quot; approach to this, but instead of it being a &quot;punishment&quot; that he doesn't get xbox, tv . . .  simply make it a, &quot;you can play when&quot; kind of a statement along with your empathy.  &quot;I know this is really hard for you.  I'm feeling (insert emotion, sad, disappointed, frustrated. . . ) about it too.  You can play video games when you show me you can also clean up after yourself.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These kinds of natural consequences can apply to A LOT if you let them.  The main things are that you always stay calm and sympathetic, make time to listen, paraphrase and empathize, never threaten and do not give warnings.  Simply let the consequences fall where they may and although you listen, don't negotiate (maybe with an occasional nudge here and there to the consequences). The reason for no warnings is that it sets it up to come across as a threat and/or punishment.  It is also really easy (I'm guilty too) of suggesting the consequence and then not following through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more information read, &quot;Parenting with Love and Logic&quot;, &quot;How to listen so they'll talk and talk so they'll listen&quot; and &quot;Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families&quot; You might also check out the Mecham Family and see if you can sign up for a workshop about control and consequence at www.schoolathomeeffectivley.com.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-24T07:34:42.557" LastActivityDate="2013-11-24T07:34:42.557" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6011" CreationDate="2012-10-24T01:56:39.053" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Totally normal.  Don't worry about it as long as they aren't emulating sexual behaviors with one-another (if he ever engages these girls in play for example) its perfectly fine and nothing to be concerned about.  They are new to figuring out love outside of family and what it all means and he is just &quot;practicing&quot; the idea of love.  My daughter once asked her daddy to marry her.  He said, &quot;I can't.  Already taken, but I'll love you as my daughter&quot; - perfect answer hubby!  I can't tell you how many teachers have stories about students &quot;in love&quot; with each other - or even the teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T01:56:39.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6246" CreationDate="2012-10-24T02:06:47.750" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I totally agree with the idea that pushing or forcing your child to do extracurriculars they are not interested in in any way is wrong, I also think physical activity is super important too.  My rule with my own daughter has been that she must be doing one activity that involves physical training.  This encompasses a lot of things from the team sports you mention to individual sports such as many track and field events or even dance.  As it stands now, she has discovered she really enjoys tennis and Taekwondo so that is what she does.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some kids, team sports are fairly intimidating.  If you are worried about exposure to lessons learned from &quot;team&quot; exposure, there are other ways for them to get exposure to these types of skills.  Debate teams need to work together for example, as do many other groups.  To address these types of skills, my daughter has chosen instead of a team sport, theater.  She is now involved with a community theater which gives her a lot of exposure to some of the same things &quot;teams&quot; have to learn in team sports such as awareness of others on the stage, knowing how to share the spotlight (or the ball) and even strategy with other actors and actresses about how to work together to depict the emotions aimed for most clearly and accurately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, this plan has worked to give her enough choice not to feel &quot;pushed&quot;, but still meets my need of wanting her to have the exposure to the lessons to be learned from such activities as well as the physical exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has worked really well for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-10-24T02:15:51.687" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T02:15:51.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6326" CreationDate="2012-10-24T02:27:22.037" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer your overall question, whether the cesarean was necessary, the answer is &quot;maybe&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like there maybe have been fears of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/complications_shoulderdystocia.html&quot;&gt;shoulder dystocia&lt;/a&gt;. Sometimes changing positions can help this problem, or something called the &quot;Gaskin maneuver&quot; The lithotomy position is the stereotypical birthing position in hospitals, but it is one of the worst ways to give birth because the mother is pushing a 6-10 pound baby against gravity and over her pelvic bones. Squatting can shorten the birth canal and also let gravity help pull the baby through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forceps and ventouse (vacuum) extraction can be risky, and since the amniotic sac was ruptured, the doctor chose to perform surgery. There are a lot of factors into why surgery was chosen, but since I don't have any specifics, I'd wager that since induction was mentioned, this mother was on pitocin and had an epidural, and therefore movement was restricted. She probably also had been in the hospital for several hours and not been allowed food or drink (maybe ice chips), and was exhausted. Changing positions or pushing can sound overwhelming in that case, and therefore surgery sounds like the best choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in the event that the baby was too large for that particular mother to deliver, which is rare but does happen, then surgery could not have been prevented. Another possibly side effect to an induction would be that the hormone responsible for loosening up the pelvic ligaments that facilitate childbirth would not have been able to do its work, especially if the induction was prior for 40 weeks gestation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sincerely doubt that most doctors would perform surgery to get more money. Maybe there are a few, but I would imagine that would be an exception. I've heard anecdotes about ob/gyns who have a ridiculously high cesarean rate, so that is the best place to start when choosing a doctor. But it is a good way for the doctor to avoid malpractice lawsuits. If a doctor performs a cesarean, then they will be able to demonstrate that they did everything possible to save the baby and mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also wanted to mention some risks of cesareans that have not yet been mentioned. For future pregnancies, it can cause complications with where the placenta attaches in the uterus (placenta accreta and placenta previa). The risks increase with every additional cesarean. Doctors in the US are reluctant to attend VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) because malpractice insurers do not wish to cover them. Here's &lt;a href=&quot;http://medicineworld.org/cancer/lead/1-2009/risks-of-choosing-repeat-cesarean.html&quot;&gt;an article&lt;/a&gt; on additional risks. Hemorrhaging and other complications are also more common in repeat cesareans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kegels will not help prevent cesareans. They may help prevent uterine prolapse, but that typically affects women who have given birth vaginally. However, they can help strengthen the pelvic muscles and get rid of that horrible &quot;sneeze pee&quot; that new moms sometimes get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some further reading:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care / Jennifer Block&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ina May's Guide to Childbirth / Ina May Gaskin&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First / Marsden Wagner&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3363" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T02:27:22.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6187" CreationDate="2012-10-24T02:33:32.287" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For starters, I'd review the word &quot;Fair&quot; in this context: &quot;Fair&quot; does not really mean the same as equal.  &quot;Fair&quot; means what is right for each person at a given time.  Even in the same family one child can have more chores than another because he/she is older and more capable of more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, even my six year old already knows tales from the days I was an RA in college of the kids that didn't know how to wash their clothes, sweep and do other &quot;house&quot; chores we all had to do for our dorm community (yes, I went to a small private school where although we had a janitor for deep scrubbing and the bathrooms we had to do most of the own cleaning of our house community spaces).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the whole, &quot;everyone has to do their part&quot; message, point out what a big favor you are doing him/her in that your child will know how to do these things when they move out and have a house/apartment of their own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are doing your job making them do chores.  Make sure they know that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T02:33:32.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6226" CreationDate="2012-10-24T02:38:11.183" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I saw my CNM (certified nurse midwife) today for a well woman's check up, and mentioned that I may be pregnant (too early to take the test). I am still breastfeeding my 15 month old. She said that it was perfectly safe to continue breastfeeding unless I experienced contractions that lasted longer than an hour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, a lot of children self-wean when the mother is about halfway through her pregnancy, as the milk changes to more of the colostrum variety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3363" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T02:38:11.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4484" CreationDate="2012-10-24T02:54:13.760" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;By exposing your child to a range of rich musical experiences right from the start you increase the liklihood that your child will be interested in the language of music when the time comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solfege method has already been mentioned (Sound of Music, do re mi . . .) and stick notation for rythm can both be introduced around the age of five pretty easily, but you can introduce rythm games and melody matching even before that as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't specifically address your question, but I would caution, If you become too concerned or formal about this too soon, you are likely to &quot;push&quot; an interest on your child instead of letting him/her explore his/her own interest.  If it is truly important to you that your child learn to read music, I see no difference in that from feeling any other skill like ball handling or dancing is important for a child to learn.  Make sure your child has some sort of choice in the matter (choice in instrument for example) and you are much more likely to have a child enthusiastic about the matter even into adolescence than if you make all the decisions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also check out these similar questions: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/805/how-do-you-determine-when-to-start-a-child-on-music-lessons-without-pressuring-t&quot;&gt;How do you determine when to start a child on music lessons without pressuring them?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/452/how-do-you-teach-a-toddler-rhythm-and-melody&quot;&gt;How do you teach a toddler rhythm and melody?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T02:54:13.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2012-10-24T03:25:11.020" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try a musical routine.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use songs for each step before bedtime.  For example, whistle while you work is for cleanup and ants in my pants for changing into pajamas.  The playlist plays in the same order and each chore is done to a calmer song than the one before it.  It gives a time limit for everything which helps to avoid stalling and depicts a routine and order that is the same every night which helps cue their brains into calming down before they even touch the bed.  We pause the music for a story or two if they have been &quot;on time&quot; with the music and then calming lullabies play for about 40 minutes after that.  It helps to make the routine fun, regular and predictable and also calming.  I have more examples and ideas on my website if you wish for more info.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/07/routines-get-up-and-go-and-bedtime.html#!/2012/07/routines-get-up-and-go-and-bedtime.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/07/routines-get-up-and-go-and-bedtime.html#!/2012/07/routines-get-up-and-go-and-bedtime.html&lt;/a&gt;  We also use a similar routine for getting up and getting going in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T11:33:15.597" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T11:33:15.597" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-10-24T03:25:11.020" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6346" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6352" CreationDate="2012-10-24T13:41:30.877" Score="0" ViewCount="7174" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 3 and half months old and she is having cough and making wheezing sound while breathing. She had attack of Pneumonia 20 days back and had to be admitted to hospital, her Ped says that she is fine only having heavy cold now. But I am really scared whether she is well or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2012-10-24T14:09:44.553" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T05:35:47.197" Title="My baby is having cough and making wheezing sound" Tags="|infant|health|sickness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2017-06-10T18:11:09.897" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6035" CreationDate="2012-10-24T14:08:05.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the same problem, I tried many ways but fail and loose many sleepless night for a month. But one day while trying all the ways I gave her Gripe water thinking she may be crying due to Gripe and that night she slept well. Actually this idea struck me as I observing her cry is like colic cry. Hope! this help, I know what you are going through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T14:08:05.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6346" CreationDate="2012-10-24T14:20:39.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel for you, unfortunately I don't think there's an answer in this forum that will give you that type of assurance. Few of the people on this forum are medical professionals, and those that are won't be able to really give you any assurance one way or the other by reading descriptions of symptoms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As babies cannot talk it's very hard to know how they are feeling. Babies with bad colds make terrible burbling and rasping noises, and generally cry a lot as having a bad cold is miserable. Babies with more serious problems often act exactly the same even though the situation is more serious, and knowing when a baby is genuinely in need of medical help is very difficult. What most parents do is err on the side of caution and take them to the doctor who can tell them what's wrong. If the doctor says it's just a bad cold then I'd be inclined to believe him/her. I've found that parenting means learning to live with some uncertainty, and there's no way to get around that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, if it were me I'd be checking my baby's temperature with an ear thermometer. Normal temperature would go a long way to showing that it is just a cold, and colds do not cause a rise in temperature. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-24T14:20:39.790" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6349" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6350" CreationDate="2012-10-25T01:27:12.257" Score="9" ViewCount="37084" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 year old is in junior kindergarten and we've received multiple letters from his teacher regarding his refusal to color in class.   He also refuses at home when we try to encourage him to color.   We've tried to get coloring books featuring his favorite cartoon characters,  but it seems the more we try the stronger he resists. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3370" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:32:46.560" LastActivityDate="2021-04-15T14:46:42.833" Title="4 year old refuses to color" Tags="|pre-schooler|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6349" CreationDate="2012-10-25T02:38:02.543" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a somewhat similar situation with my son when he started pre-K this past August.  He would refuse to do any activities that involved cutting with scissors.  There were a couple of reasons for this:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'd never actually let him hold scissors prior to that, so he didn't have any experience with them. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's left-handed, he's the only kid in the class who's left-handed, and they only had right-handed scissors.  Once we got him a pair of the correctly oriented scissors, it helped a lot.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He wasn't very good at it (obviously) so he wasn't exactly inclined to do it more.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I would assess a couple of other things first:  Does he know how to hold a pen/pencil/crayon correctly?  Could that be the issue?  If he hasn't had much experience holding a writing utensil correctly, the newness of it might be off-putting to him.  Has he ever liked to color?  I only ask because my son doesn't especially LOVE to color.  He'll draw stuff, but he isn't really into coloring unless he has to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the ability to hold and manipulate a writing utensil appropriately is an important fine motor skill, I've always sort of viewed coloring as practice of that fine motor skill.  Maybe I'm wrong...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a couple of incidents where his refusal to even attempt classwork lead to behavior problems, we sat down with him and made it abundantly clear that it was NOT acceptable for him to simply refuse to even try.  If he needed help, he needed to ask for help, but he HAD to at least try.  We were understanding and we made it clear that we understood that cutting was difficult for him, but that he needed to attempt the activity.  His teacher is also good about sending work home with him that he doesn't complete in class (which never happens now).  He was pretty chastened.  We have also worked extremely closely with his teacher so that he knows there is no disconnect between school and home.  Whatever he does at school, we pretty much always know about it--good or bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I would say:  IF his refusal to do the activity or assignment in class isn't leading to bigger behavior problems and IF his writing/fine motor skills are progressing normally otherwise, I wouldn't push the coloring at home if he doesn't seem interested.  I would stress the importance of him attempting the activity/assignment because it could simply be a case of him needing more practice to get better at it.  And I would work very closely with his teacher to try to figure out exactly what the hang-up is and what seems to work and what doesn't.  You might luck out and he might just tell you what the problem is, but we were never that lucky and had to piece it together ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="9445" LastEditDate="2014-07-24T12:02:59.223" LastActivityDate="2014-07-24T12:02:59.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6349" CreationDate="2012-10-25T03:03:43.917" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (now 8) also did not want to color!  I think it takes a certain kind of personality to be able to sit there and perform all these small repetitive motions over a long period of time.  My son was an active kid who was pragmatic in his own way: he would much rather draw pictures from scratch himself, whether it is with crayons or paint.  He just didn't have the patience and/or didn't see much benefit to filling in something already laid out.  A coloring sheet picture of a dog already looks like a dog, and coloring it didn't change anything important about the dog (in his point of view).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if your child is high-achieving or a perfectionist at all, he may be frustrated at not being able to color and shade the drawing to what he had originally envisioned due to the limitations inherent in crayons and 4-year-old hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son's kindergarten teacher was concerned at first, because she wanted to gauge his fine motor skills, his ability to follow directions, and have him participate with the others.  I asked her to please evaluate those skills in other realms as well (drawing, writing letters, etc.), because he just hated coloring.  And luckily for all involved, she did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is now a very bright, enthusiastic learner, and is a pretty impressive artist to boot (his preferred medium is pencil drawing).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say all this to say that lots of truly creative kids find coloring too limiting, so maybe if you can convince your son how to make coloring fun (maybe challenge him to use every color in his crayon box), or just wait for this phase that emphasizes coloring to end.  In the long run, it has absolutely no bearing on his future academic performance, and he should be able to demonstrate his love of learning and creating in other ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3371" LastEditorUserId="3371" LastEditDate="2012-10-25T15:59:50.527" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T15:59:50.527" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6346" CreationDate="2012-10-25T05:35:47.197" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your colds would sound a lot worse too if you couldn't clear your throat or blow your nose.  What to look out for is going to vary by child and by the situation.  A pediatrician may give very different advice during RSV season than other times of the year, for example.  Also, generally parents rely on doctors less as they gain experience with their own children's particular health issues.  For example, we are now well prepared to handle our daughter's occasional seizures at home, but we took her to the ER the first few times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick to not worrying so much is to ask your doctor one question:  what should I look out for to know if I need to bring her back in?  When you go to the hospital, they usually list that information on the discharge papers.  Most of the time it's looking for a fever or dehydration, and duration (i.e. if it doesn't go away in a week).  Don't worry about seeing your pediatrician too often.  Every new parent does that, and it's far better to be safe than sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T05:35:47.197" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6349" CreationDate="2012-10-25T08:05:38.557" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why force a child to color? Is he destined to take over the family coloring business?&#xA;The best is to just let him be. My wife is 30 now and has never colored. Didn't stop her from getting a phd in math. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3193" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T08:05:38.557" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6354" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6365" CreationDate="2012-10-25T13:47:04.987" Score="5" ViewCount="17727" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 and half monthChild is having cold and refuse to take medicine. We force her to take medicine with dropper after holding her head and hand. Even if she take her medicine she simply do not swallow it and spit it after sometime. Now, the problem is that she is very frighten even if we kiss her. She blink her eyes very much and try to move herself away. Please someone suggest me in this matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastActivityDate="2016-08-14T05:09:58.700" Title="What is the best way to give medicine to baby?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6354" CreationDate="2012-10-25T14:10:42.367" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can you mix it with her formula or breastmilk?  I don't know if that's possible--clearly if you're nursing and not using bottles then you can't do this, but it's a suggestion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's just a cold, then maybe you can  back off the oral meds and switch to other medication.  Use a saline solution and nasal sucker to suction out her nose, keep the humidifier going and elevate one end of her mattress.  You can even use a mentholated ointment like Vick's Vap-O-Rub or something like that--I'm pretty sure they make a baby version which doesn't use camphor.  Or if you don't want to actually rub it on her, they make the same thing in little outlet diffusers that you can just plug into an outlet in the room.  Warm, humid rooms--like steamy bathrooms--are helpful for calming coughing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm only saying all this because if it's just a cold, then probably any medication you're giving her is only relieving symptoms anyway--most of which can be accomplished via other methods as well.  Unless she NEEDS the medication, like it's an antibiotic you're using to eliminate an infection or you're giving her Tylenol/Motrin for a fever, then maybe not using oral medication would just make everyone happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T14:10:42.367" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2500" CreationDate="2012-10-25T14:18:25.760" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thanks for asking! It sounds like your overall goal is to help your child develop *&lt;em&gt;in&lt;/em&gt;*trinsic motivation, meaning that her sense of motivation comes from within. And, yet, it sounds like you are using *&lt;em&gt;ex&lt;/em&gt;*ternal motivators (rewards). I would suggest steering away from these rewards because everything we know about how to motivate kids is that these incentives actually decrease a person's long-term interest and success in the activity. (check out Carol Dweck's work)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want her to learn self-care, such as brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, what are you doing to &lt;em&gt;teach&lt;/em&gt; her these skills? She could make a bedtime routing chart in whatever way she likes to help remind her of the steps. You could do role-plays and practice (make it silly and fun!). Especially with bed time, routines are essential! You can use that stuff from the dentist that shows the places you missed when brushing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rewards will be her own sense of accomplishment and pride. You can help her develop and practice self-reflection by modeling this behavior on her behalf: &quot;You must be proud of being able to take care of yourself now&quot;, &quot;I notice you've been brushing your teeth every night.&quot;, &quot;thank you for taking care of your bedtime routine so we can have time to read books and snuggle.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as money and things, I would also involve her in the family budget. I'm not sure how old she is, but as much as possible, let her be involved in how to spend the budget on a grocery trip. Of course you have veto power, but genuinely involve her. Ask her for help, &quot;how can we best use our money to keep our family health and well-fed?&quot;. The more you involve her in long-term planning and decision-making, the more practice she will have. And, the extra bonus is that you will be connecting with her and spending meaningful time together!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://store.positivediscipline.com/positive-discipline-book.html&quot;&gt;Positive Discipline&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0761511288&quot;&gt;Raising Self Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World&lt;/a&gt; They are great resources grounded in mutual respect, and the sooner you start the better off you'll be!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-25T14:58:19.623" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T14:58:19.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6320" CreationDate="2012-10-25T14:33:07.723" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, it sounds like you are actively involved and paying attention to your child so that's great!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering if this is something you've just recently started. Think about what letters look like to a child; it probably looks like what Chinese (or any language in a different script) looks like to you: scribbles on the page! It is going to take a lot of practice to be able to recognize these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, how much do you read to her? I would recommend reading to her every night, preferably something like Dr Suess that is fun, rhythmic and with lots of pictures to provide context clues. Soon she will memorize the story and this will help her to begin to see the connections between the shapes of the written words and the different words they represent. It won't &lt;em&gt;teach&lt;/em&gt; her to read, but it will help her get ready to learn to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, I would start with letters instead of words. Play games where she says the sound when you show her the letter (like Mmmmm for M). Make it fun and silly. Then you can start to connect them into &lt;strong&gt;simple&lt;/strong&gt; words like cat, sat, rat, mat (work within rhyming groups).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend &lt;strong&gt;Stanley Greenspan's book: The Learning Tree.&lt;/strong&gt; Although it is designed for parents of kids with learning disabilities (which I am not saying your daughter as), it is full of GREAT ideas and activities for practicing and developing very specific skills when it comes to reading, writing, and more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For general tips, I also recommend the Positive Discipline series.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-25T15:01:50.680" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T15:01:50.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6281" CreationDate="2012-10-25T14:49:21.777" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This seems pretty normal for 15 month olds, though that doesn't make it any less annoying! And you're in it for double with twins! They are certainly going to egg each other on!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would think about things that you can do to make life easier for yourself as it is not developmentally appropriate to try to reason with them at this stage. And I would never take food away from a growing baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with everything the above poster suggested. Particularly the sense of humor! But, punishments do little to actually &lt;em&gt;teach&lt;/em&gt; new skills and just creates disharmony in the long-run. Instead I work with kids to develop and practice the skills they need for success. So as the previous other stated:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have children in high chairs&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have high chairs in middle of kitchen floor with shower curtain spread out across the floor&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If they drop food or end up with it on their head leave it until the end of the meal (optionally take pictures to amuse the grandparents) - the shower curtain makes it easy to clean up&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If they throw food that they then want to eat, point out that it is gone now&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, it &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; tedious, but keep up with the &quot;uh-ohs, food is for eating, not throwing.&quot; Talk about what big kids they are, you bet they can eat up all their dinner, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, you could also consider feeding them and then having dinner with your wife so that you aren't getting frustrated by them at &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; mealtime and can be in a better headspace while you get through this stage. They can have toys or something on their highchairs while you are eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also recommend reading any books in the Positive Discipline series, you can find ones for preschoolers, toddlers, babies, etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T14:49:21.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6316" CreationDate="2012-10-25T18:37:00.840" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a mother of twin boys, we taught them ASL signs with an awesome DVD series starting at 2 months. I believe the DVD series was called 'Signing Time'. If anything, it was amazing being able to communicate with them sooner which alleviated many frustrations. It bridged a gap until they could start using their words. When they can't say it, they sign it. And eventually, all of their signs were replaced with words as they make connections to the meanings of words and the wordld around them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first, we were skeptical because we went 6 months of watching the DVDs and not being able to see any results. Then one day -- they started signing 'milk', 'more', 'eat', 'diaper' all within a week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say it is a judgement call. I can't speak for the scientific research on the developmental benefits, however, science aside, the pragmatism of the communication benefits outweigh everything else. Communication sooner leads to connections and meanings to the world around them and opens their world. We have averted many frustrations having sign language as a tool and we are so happy we stuck with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3377" LastEditorUserId="3377" LastEditDate="2012-10-25T18:43:52.767" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T18:43:52.767" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6275" CreationDate="2012-10-25T19:34:26.697" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everything sounds fine to me. Caring for kids is always messy and unpredictable. I don't see what else you could have done. At that age, it's hard for them to be able to &quot;hold it in&quot; - he only figures out he needs to go &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; at the last possible moment usually. You can look forward to that when you potty train your own child :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T19:34:26.697" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="275" CreationDate="2012-10-25T19:46:07.057" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Positive Discipline talks about being kind &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; firm, meaning, its important to have rules, and boundaries, but its also important to be realistic and developmentally appropriate, and to connect with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 14 months, your baby is, well, a baby. He does not understand if he pulls heavy books off a shelf he is going to get hurt. Yes, learning involves some literal bumps along the way, but it is also important that your house should be baby-proofed so that he can't cause serious injury. I would move the books to someplace he can't reach; exchange them with something lighter. And, make sure he has things he can build and knock over! (shoeboxes are so fun!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have mentioned, consistency &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; key. It can't be fine one day when you're in a good mood, and a problem the next because you're tired. That's way too confusing! But, provided you are consistent, and &lt;em&gt;preventing&lt;/em&gt; as much of this as possible, when he starts doing something he shouldn't, calmly and firmly respond with &quot;No. We don't &lt;strong&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt; &quot; and then redirect him. Physically move him if you have to (certainly if he is in danger!), but otherwise just get his attention elsewhere onto something he is allowed to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers are fascinating little beings, constantly absorbing information. I avoid both praise and punishment (with all ages) because they are manipulative in the short-term and damaging in the long-run (tons of research I can connect you with if you want). Instead, just re-direct at this age. Certainly as he gets just a bit older you can start to involve him in the process a bit more, but at this age it just isn't helpful or productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend reading Positive Discipline, and there's one specifically for young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T19:46:07.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6362" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6363" CreationDate="2012-10-25T21:09:36.033" Score="7" ViewCount="14144" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old son has suddenly started fighting sleep at every opportunity.  He is an absolute angel during bath time and getting ready for bed but will not settle.  This has come out of the blue.  In a normal situation, we read a story, say goodnight and leave him.  He would in a very few instances call out, but I'd consider this normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, he will call and call and call for us to come and sit with him, and will not settle unless we're there.  Even at the brink of sleep if we leave he will wake up and call out.  Tonight was even worse where he wouldn't settle with me sitting there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas?  He has recently (about a month ago) started nursery but didn't have any sleeping issues then. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;* UPDATE **&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tracked it down to a new friend at school.  His teacher told us that a new boy that my son has befriended has abysmal behaviour and it seems to have rubbed off.  Since the new boy at school as also quietened down, so has my son's sleeping habits become less of a fight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3378" LastEditorUserId="3378" LastEditDate="2012-11-23T09:27:26.227" LastActivityDate="2012-11-23T09:27:26.227" Title="3 Year Old suddenly doesn't want to sleep" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6362" CreationDate="2012-10-25T21:51:02.940" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Starting nursery is a big deal! A significant change in his life, even one that doesn't seem like a big deal to us, can be stressful on a little one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he like the nursery program?&#xA;Does he show any other signs of stress?&#xA;Does he have a hard time starting nursery in the mornings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me it sounds like he's just adjusting to the separation from you when he goes to nursery and may need some extra attention. The bedtime routine sounds great, I would keep that up. Maybe add bath time before the bedtime story, to give him some added opportunities to connect with you? You can sit next to the bathtub and talk and play and giggle. Excellent bonding opportunity! (though I see now you are already doing bathtime, you may need other 'special time' that you set aside for connecting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a bedtime story and lots of snuggles, I think it is appropriate to remain firm and say things like &quot;Goodnight. I love you.&quot; and then leave. If he gets out bed, just put him back into bed with &quot;It's bed time. Goodnight.&quot; Though it can be unbelievably frustrating, but consistently, and calmly, keep putting him back into bed with a &quot;It's bedtime. Goodnight.&quot; Staying in the room with him will teach him the way to get your attention is by staying awake!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as he has been fed, watered, and loved, I don't see any major problems here, especially if you don't see any other signs of distress or discomfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try asking him what's going on. &quot;I notice you aren't sleeping. How come?&quot; But he or may not be able to tell you much. Without knowing him it is hard to say, there's such a range at this age! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also make a bedtime routine chart with him. Let him do all the artwork and choose pictures to cut out from magazines to represent the different steps. Involving him can help him take ownership of the process. Give him lots of &quot;wow, you are really learning to take care of yourself&quot; and other reflections (not praise). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sure it will settle down when he gets used to going nursery. It is a big step for a little one, and some are more sensitive to changes, particularly in routines, than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-10-25T22:00:56.343" LastActivityDate="2012-10-25T22:00:56.343" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6320" CreationDate="2012-10-26T00:32:03.273" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the keys to memorization in general is repetition. It may be you're jumping between letters too quickly or trying to learn too many at a time and she hasn't really &quot;mastered&quot; one before you've moved on to trying to teach her a different one, and then it's all just a jumble and easy to mix them up, especially when you have a mix of three seperate languages that each have different sounds and sometimes different letters or different names for the letters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One idea might be to do a &quot;letter of the day&quot; (like on sesame street, sort of) and really focus on just that one letter--what it looks like, what it sounds like, what items start with that letter. Just reinforce one letter so much that she really &lt;em&gt;knows&lt;/em&gt; that letter&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like you could do an art project with the letter--make the letter out of popscicle sticks, masking tape/painting, pipe cleaners, beans, etc, where the artwork is primarily focused on the shape of the letter, to help reinforce the shape of the letter and what the letter looks like. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While doing this, you could recite together some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.esl4kids.net/tongue.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;tounge-twisters&lt;/a&gt; that revolve around your letter of the day. &quot;billy blows big blue bubbles&quot;. See who can recite it faster without messing it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also discuss what different items start with that letter, or add props, and take your time. B...I have a bowl of bananas next to a ball and a basket of berries. Look at the &quot;B&quot; page in some alphabet books, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get an alphabet teaching set that uses mnemonics for each letter, a picture of an animal or item with that letter, and have her memorize the animal that goes with the letter (ie: picture of an item that matches the picture of the letter). &quot;B is for...BEAR!&quot; Get a memory set that has letters on one side and pictures of the items on the other for matching games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also draw the letter in upper-case and lowercase on a chalk-board or dry erase board. Or trace the letter on paper. Draw it in highlighter and give her a pen, pencil, or crayon. Or do a &quot;word-search&quot; type puzzle where you look for the letter of the day and circle all the B's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, of course, add some of your own ideas that are catered to her interests. The basic ideas would be to make learning about the letter fun, and to spend a lot of time learning one single letter, and use a lot of different modes of learning (visual, hearing, kinesthetic, etc) so by the end of the day she can confidently recognize the visual appearance and sound of one letter. Then slowly build on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, depending on the program at her school, you may want to align what you're reinforcing at home with what they are teaching in the classroom, so that you're practicing the same letters or mnemonics she's learning at school. Focusing on a small subset of letter (and not necessarily in alphabet order) and short three letter words may help with being able to remember them and begin reading with those letters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, it may help to focus on learning reading and the alphabet in one language first, probably whichever language her school is taught in, and leave reading and the alphabet for the others until once she's mastered at least one alphabet. Learning that I makes and E sound in german, and E makes an I sound is a recipe for getting the letters mixed up, especially when you add that on top of the multiple different sounds that E can make in English. There are also lots of electronic toys and puzzles that will speak the letters when you press on them that could be used as an aid in learning to map the picture of the letter to it's name and sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T00:32:03.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6354" CreationDate="2012-10-26T00:52:12.490" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, interrupting a nursing session near the beginning to administer the medicine and then resuming the nursing session is what worked best for bad tasting medications like antibiotics. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting to nurse may help put her a relaxed state to start, that's why I say, start there, rather than medicine then nursing. But if you wait till later in the nursing session it may be more agitating than helpful, so as soon as she's nursed long enough to be somewhat calm, time to unlatch to give the medicine. Of course, she won't be too happy to be interrupted, and there may be tears involved (so just get it over with quickly!), but if you're ready with your medicine dropper, you can quickly insert the dropper into the side of her mouth near her cheek (toward the back as well), give a squirt of medicine and then re-latch before she's fully realized what's going on. Re-latching will encourage her to both swallow the medicine and also wash down the bad flavor of the medicine with a flavor she likes, and as bonus then distracts her from the unpleasant activity of medicine with an activity she enjoys. Depending on the dose needed, and how much she can swallow comfortably in a single swallow you may need to unlatch a couple times to get the full dose in. Feel free to also distracting her with a toy or funny faces or whatever while giving the medicine if it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Holding the dropper to the side of their mouth near the back is important to keep them from thrusting their tongue to spit out the medicine, essentially you want the medicine behind the tongue where it's harder to spit out and where the swallow reflex kicks in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T00:52:12.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6187" CreationDate="2012-10-26T01:17:32.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My favorite resources for this issue are Chores Without Wars and Positive Discipline. As Rory says, family work is the responsibility of all family members (at varying levels based on age/development/abilities/etc). Positive Discipline outlines exactly &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to go about implementing this using regular family meetings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A nice blog for what this actually looks like in a family is www.CanWeHugItOut.blogspot.com and she actually just made a recent &lt;a href=&quot;http://canwehugitout.blogspot.ca/2012_09_01_archive.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;post&lt;/a&gt; about exactly this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, you'll want to get the kids involved. Nagging does nothing except create disconnection between the two of you. Instead, brainstorm &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt; a list of all the things that need done and then let her choose some that she thinks she could handle. Kids love to be included and seen as contributors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When your child does chores it will &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; look the way it would have if &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; had done them. But, then, you doing them wasn't your goal, right? So be realistic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Understand that she's not going to start from doing nothing to doing a lot overnight! It will feel unfair and you will get resentment. Build it up. Let her choose some of her 'chores' to start so that she will more likely actually &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; them. (To this day I still hate doing dishes!). It will get better over time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They don't need praise, in fact it can be counter-productive (tons of research on this) but genuine gratitude is always appreciated. &quot;Thank you for doing &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_; it really helped me today,&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't spend time arguing with them. Whether or not they contribute to their family isn't up for negotiation. &quot;I don't know what happens in your friends' families, but in our family we help each other.&quot; During family meetings you can decide &lt;strong&gt;together&lt;/strong&gt; things like who does what and when and how often.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be consistent. Be realistic. Be firm. Use the opportunity to teach her skills her friends probably don't even know how to do! She sounds old enough to start cooking meals, helping with budgeting &amp;amp; grocery shopping (bonus math practice too!), and doing laundry. Again, help her notice and reflect on her developing skills &quot;Wow. I notice you are becoming really independent.&quot; or &quot;Thank you for cooking dinner. It is really yummy!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly it is more difficult to suddenly start implementing new routines or expectations rather than just doing it from the beginning, but it is never too late to start! I really recommend reading Positive Discipline for cultivating a home environment that is cooperative, respectful and peaceful. And, I'm hoping you are in it for the long-haul, not the immediate results!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T01:17:32.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6239" CreationDate="2012-10-26T01:32:16.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the real issue here is that toddlers aren't designed to watch TV. If you want to watch TV, then have other things (coloring, blocks, trains, etc) for her to do with you while you watch. But better yet, wait until she goes to bed. At her age she has a lot of growing and learning to do, none of which is going to happen from watching TV. Babies learn from getting up close and personal! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; TED Talk on the language acquisition of babies. If you watch it, you'll see her talk about the effects on baby's speech development from watching the a real person read a book vs watching that person on TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T01:32:16.307" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6262" CreationDate="2012-10-26T02:24:04.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there's a lot going on here. I can certainly understand the frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your son isn't feeling a sense of belonging, as you've already been able to articulate. To me it sounds like you are caught in a power struggle, and he is fighting for his dignity (you've already labeled him &quot;unreasonable&quot;). The question is, how will you be able to develop his sense of belonging so that he feels safe, loved, and wanted? At the same time, are you developing his sense of significance so that he feels capable, appreciated and noticed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thing like &#xA; &quot;Thank you for &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. It really helped me.&quot;&#xA; &quot;I noticed you worked hard on &lt;strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;&#xA; &quot;I know you can &lt;strong&gt;__&lt;/strong&gt;. I have faith in you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like the Love and Logic model because while I would agree with &quot;Love&quot; (connection, belonging, relationship), consequences (natural or otherwise) don't actually &lt;strong&gt;teach&lt;/strong&gt; anything except that when you are bigger, you are the boss. I would rather teach my child how to be a contributing, valued member of group (in this case family, but soon it will be the larger world).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For success in the long run, I would recommend Positive Discipline. There are practical tools in there to help your child develop his sense of belonging and significance so that he can participate. In my experience, children do better when they feel better. (This does not mean rewards, or bribes, but real connection). And, when children &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do better, they do. In fact, there is a lot of research that clearly demonstrates that things like sticker charts actually decrease a child's interest and performance in an activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your 5 year old's compliance at that young age can be fairly typical, but soon he too will start growing out of it. By the time they are teenagers, and certainly adults, you can't &lt;strong&gt;make&lt;/strong&gt; them do anything. Do you want your children to clean their rooms because you told them to, or because it is a skill they have developed as part of their self-care routine? Similarly, should they clean up after themselves because you told them to, or because that has become part of their value set as a member of a healthy, cooperative group (family)? In my experience, kids that come from families where they're used to being told what to do all the time, have no clue what to do when their parents are gone! They haven't learned to think for themselves. I really really recommend taking a breather and reading Positive Discipline or looking up local parenting classes in your area. Your family &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; become cooperative, respectful &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; peaceful!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what this all actually looks like in a family, check out these blogs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.CanWeHugItOut.blogspot.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CanWeHugItOut&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://parentingfromscratch.wordpress.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ParentingFromScratch&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.singledadbrad.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SingleDadBrad&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T02:24:04.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6362" CreationDate="2012-10-26T03:29:18.460" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First thing is try to reduce or avoid altogether giving them any sort of subtances with caffeine, including chocolate, tea, coke, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3379" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T03:29:18.460" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6354" CreationDate="2012-10-26T08:51:50.650" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We normally do by using a 5 ml syringe (without the needle of course!!!, you can take the medicine into the syringe from a spoon or something) pushing gently (normally after two or three iterations our 7-months takes most of it) and avoiding as much as possible to force her head still. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to put a few drops on the dummy, and take it quickly to the mouth, repeating the process if the volume to be taken is too high.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We sometimes intercalate with some milk or baby apple juice, which our 7-months love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2171" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T08:51:50.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6362" CreationDate="2012-10-26T11:13:49.373" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may or may not be related to him starting nursery, but either way it may be about control. At some point children want to try and control their own lives, and going to sleep is one big bit of control. At some point most children will want to draw out the process because then they feel like they are calling the shots to some extent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I'd play this is rather than to just leave when he calls out, I'd tell him that you're going to come back once, but after that it is time for bed, and then stick to it. Come back for another minute or two, another couple of hugs and kisses so he'll get a bit of satisfaction, then nite-nite and out the door. He may cry but he'll get over it. You can't go back over and over or you'll never be done with it! The extra call back will become part of the routine, and all will settle down. At least, that's the theory!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting nursery often stirs up routines for a bit, the important thing is to be loving and supportive while still being consistent in the new routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-26T11:13:49.373" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6183" CreationDate="2012-10-27T00:18:50.690" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're talking about a child that is too young for school? You can't really compare what they can handle to that of someone in school. There are HUGE developmental milestones in between. Toddlers can't handle 5 hours of anything (except sleep if you're lucky :) )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, taking your little one on outings is awesome. The Zoo, library, museums, parks, etc are all full of lots to see and do. I think overscheduling refers to when kids are so busy they don't have time to rest or connect with family. The time you invest in building a relationship now, before they reach preteen-hood, is the best thing you can do. It's a problem when the only time kids and parents spend together is driving from one activity to the next. Inside or outside the home is fine, but make sure you are getting uninterrupted connecting/bonding time. Let your child lead when you play at home and follow their lead with trucks, blocks, etc. This helps them develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A second issue is that overscheduling also interferes with a child's opportunity for sleep and have unstructured imaginative play time. This two are both absolutely &lt;strong&gt;critical&lt;/strong&gt; for your child's development (socially, academically, emotionally, etc) and must be ensured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are spending quality time with your child, and they are getting enough sleep and lots of free-play time, then you're probably fine. Just watch out for if they are unhappy, stressed, etc about any activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, again, I think this issue applies mostly to older kids and extra-curriculars. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-27T00:18:50.690" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6377" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6378" CreationDate="2012-10-27T22:56:17.873" Score="13" ViewCount="9985" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 4 1/2 or so. She knows how to count to at least 10, possibly higher, and will do so unprompted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we've recently tried to start playing some board and card games with her. In these situations, she starts having problems with her numbers. Even when it's something simple, like counting the number of dots on the dice, or counting spaces to move on a board, she clams up. She starts throwing out numbers without even looking at what she's supposed be counting. I can't tell if she's guessing, nervous, or something else - but it's very frustrating to try and play these games with her as a result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, I'd love to be able to solve the problem and get her counting in these situations, but I'd at least like to understand why she starts acting this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3382" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-28T12:08:39.173" LastActivityDate="2019-06-28T12:08:39.173" Title="Why does my daughter &quot;forget&quot; her numbers even though she knows how to count?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|games|math|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6377" CreationDate="2012-10-28T00:17:56.333" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guess is that she has memorized the number sequence, but hasn't actually made the correlation between the words and the actual amount of things. This a big leap. Have her practice counting as much as you can, but make it fun and incorporated into daily life as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like, when giving snacks &quot;here's &lt;strong&gt;one&lt;/strong&gt; slice of orange, now you have &lt;strong&gt;two&lt;/strong&gt; orange slices.&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Walking up stairs &quot;one step, two steps, three steps, etc&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things like that where she's counting without feeling pressure. She'll start to make the connection that numbers represent the amount of stuff. To her they probably just sound like a rather meaningless sequence of words, even if she has figured out that you can represent the different numbers by drawing different shapes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another milestone for this age is comparisons like &quot;which is bigger?&quot;, &quot;who has more cheerios?&quot;, &quot;which glass has less milk?&quot; etc. This is GREAT practice!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me know if you need more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-07-25T19:34:44.203" LastActivityDate="2013-07-25T19:34:44.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6377" CreationDate="2012-10-28T01:30:11.627" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think Christine Gordon is right.  The problem could be that she doesn't understand the relationship between numbers and their representation of quantity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or it could be that she's just excited about playing the game and just wants to get to the &quot;fun&quot; part of the game (moving her piece around the board or whatever).  Unlike adults who have played games like this forever and can identify the number on a die just by looking at it, kids can't do that.  Having to stop and count is way less fun than moving your piece around a board and discovering the outcome.  My son is your daughter's age, and we go through the same thing--less now than we used to.  He would start to count something without really paying any attention to what he was doing, and we would have to stop him and make him slow down and really count.  It took lots of practice, but he's better now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or it could be a combination of both which I would bet is probably the case.  Having her stop and slow down and helping her count while she's moving her piece, as well as reinforcing the concept in other areas will make a big difference and she'll probably have it figured out before you know it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-10-28T01:30:11.627" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5822" CreationDate="2012-10-28T23:48:59.800" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, this is not a good response for reasons you and other responders already offered.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is safe to let them experiment and isn't beyond set and defined rules, once in awhile, don't say anything and let them make the mistake - they learn a lot from this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have given a direction, it is realted to a rule in your househole or a value you hold dear, or safety but you have the time to ask your children if they can think of any reasons themselves (in a respectful, loving, tone of voice not a sarcastic one), do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have time to explain why, do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a quick decision has to be made and you just need obedience because of safety or trying to catch a bus or something, say, &quot;I'll answer your questions later&quot; and then expect compliance.  Make sure you follow up and honestly do discuss the event and how you came to the decision you made, with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once in awhile, they simply don't know enough to understand.  If you only rarely answer, &quot;I've just lived longer and know a few things you haven't learned yet&quot;, it won't be a make or break, life or death, emotional turmoil creator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-10-28T23:48:59.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2012-10-29T00:22:43.173" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why not just speak directly with the son about what he likes and doesn't like about this young man?  It sounds like he is getting some help (counselors etc) even if it isn't making enough of a difference yet to make fixee comfortable with the boy, calling the authorities is probably an over-reaction based on other information that has been added and given. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son might have more and better judgement about this than you think.  He is probably looking to you for guidance in how to interact with this boy -  there is obviously something about him the son likes, admires or just means the son feels a certain amount of interaction is required.  Find out what that is.  Ask your kids what they think of this other kids behavior and how they have already tried to deal with it.  They will appreciate you having given them the credit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad was a police officer and because of that fact, he cared very deeply about troubled youth.  When he retired, they started taking in &quot;at risk&quot; children and foster children.  (And No. &lt;strong&gt;Foster parents are NOT paid!&lt;/strong&gt;  At least not in our state).  At the same time, when a boy DAD had apprehended for substance abuse returned from a drug rehab program, Dad was nervous about the idea of me tutoring him at school, but understood and saw that I was doing my job as a &quot;student helper&quot; at the school.   When we became friends and the boy asked me to prom, of course Dad had even more reservations.  When I responded to Dad that I was this boy's only friend that wasn't into drugs and a part of the past the boy was trying to leave behind, and that I thought he stood a better chance of staying clean if he had some new friends, Dad allowed it - with a few caveats.  I appreciated that he trusted my judgement.  That young man and I are still in touch and he has sole custody of his two daughters and has stayed clean and sober.  Not because of me, but because of understanding from  me, my Dad and others like us.  Obviously, your situation is different, but the concept remains that your son may just need your trust, help and guidance along the way.  It sounds like your son is well aware this boy has troubles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hedge Mage's advice is fabulous advice, but I would just add you should include listening to your kids and their reactions as part of that &quot;discussion&quot; she mentions.  A lot of parents wouldn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-29T15:14:47.173" LastActivityDate="2012-12-29T15:14:47.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6349" CreationDate="2012-10-29T00:50:18.913" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried just giving him blank paper and see if he prefers coloring his own pictures?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Scribbling is actually an important pre-writing skill, but there are a lot of different things that could be making this activity less desirable for him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be that he is intimidated by the idea of having to color inside lines.  In which case, offering him blank paper will make all the difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may also have some strength/grip issues.  You can try other types of writing materials that do not require pressing as hard.  colored chalks and oil pastel crayons are a little messier, but don't require quite as much force for application.  If you find he needs better strength.  Play dough is the answer!  the more he plays with and kneads dough, the stronger his little hands will get - and it is fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be an issue where he is asserting independence.  He is pushing boundaries and buttons because he is about four and it is his job to do so.  If he is feeling forced, he may have an issue with being told he absolutely must sit and color right now.  At this age, a really great way to give him a sense of control and independence, without losing your ability to guide him where he needs to go is to offer choice.  &quot;Would you like to color Pooh Bear today, or make your own picture?&quot;  This way, he knows it is coloring time, but he still has a sense of control over how he uses that coloring time.  He should also be allowed to decide when he done.  Even four year olds deserve a little respect and control over their own activities to some degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also possible your son has a sensory problem with the feel of paper or the sound of writing.  If he likes to write/draw under other circumstances, this is not an issue.  If he does not ever want to write at all, you might eventually look into sensory issues.  Give it a little time first, try some of the other suggestions and see if he just grows out of it in six months or so.  If not, look into possible sensory challenges.  There are actually a lot of ways to help with sensory issues as well, but he may need professional intervention for a little while if this is the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-10-29T00:56:58.857" LastActivityDate="2012-10-29T00:56:58.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6383" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6391" CreationDate="2012-10-29T06:24:11.120" Score="2" ViewCount="384" Body="&lt;p&gt;A colleague of mime notice that her teenager kid is dropping a lot of hair recently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What advices should I give to my colleague to help her teenager kid instead of telling her to ask her bring her kid to see a doctor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(She mention that her kid is not facing study stress but she also notice that her kid seems not able to eat quite a lot and her kid was rather thin in appearance. At first I thought that it could be a food disorder but my colleague say that her kid does not vomit or force the food out after eating. )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T13:45:48.627" Title="What should parent do when their child is dropping more hair?" Tags="|food|teen|nutrition|hair|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6383" CreationDate="2012-10-29T06:47:46.587" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine had a 10 year old daughter who was losing hair and quite skinny. The family is Hindu and very vegetarian. When the daughter stopped eating enough then it was very easy for her to become malnourished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mother would make her nice lunches that the child would just throw away at school. She would only have small meals at home. Being super-vegetarian, a small meal was not enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not know why the daughter was not eating, that is a separate issue. The family moved away before the problem was solved (if it was at all) so I do not know how it panned out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long and short, the parent and child needs to see a doctor to sort this out. If the child is malnourished, then some blood tests should reveal it. If he's not, then there could be something more serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-10-29T06:47:46.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2012-10-29T22:07:56.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of the suggestions here are great ideas for a new trainee. However, this questioner is asking about a five year old and has been at it for a few years now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take heart!  Take a breath and realize it is unlikely your child is being purposefully difficult at this age and stage of the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6287/2513&quot;&gt;This answer&lt;/a&gt; is pointing out the possibility of encopresis, one of a few physical ailments that can be causing the problem.  A visit to the pediatrician is probably in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is that it stems from a psychological/sometimes behavioral issue.  In SOME circumstances, the more you bribe and cajole the more likely you are to DISCOURAGE a change in behavior if the problem stems from a behavioral issue.  Often, potty problems arise in children as a statement of being able to control something (they are trying to control when they go).  The more upset and flustered you are about him not using the potty the more control of you he is in.  I also don't suggest punishment because even if it is behavioral, it is WAY more complicated than that, and well, I rarely think punishment helps in the long run any way.  Almost never.  If it is behavioral, it is hard to know the root causes and how to address them without knowing the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially if functional encopresis is found, adjust your son's diet so it is more conducive to softer stools.  Hard stools can create a cycle of painful elimination, followed by &amp;quot;holding it&amp;quot; to avoid a painful stool, increasing the chances the next movement will also be painful) - Prunes and prune juice are known for having this softening effect.  Speak with your pediatrician about the use of stool softeners and if he rules out physical reasons, have him/her refer to you to a good child psychologist in your area to help alleviate any fears or other issues your child may be facing that can be impacting his training success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: Now that you have included the information that the child is autistic, there is a whole new level of understanding.  My answer remains the same: get help from the professionals - I would just add speaking about the problem with a behavioral specialist that really knows autistic kids and their special needs.  Even if your child isn't on the severe end of the spectrum, use the help you have access to because your child does have special needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T21:32:58.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1051" CreationDate="2012-10-29T22:47:02.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hedge Mage, as usual, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1125/4054&quot;&gt;sums things up pretty nicely&lt;/a&gt;, but she left out a factor I think is also key in creating or lessening pressure in regard to activities in which a child is involved (even activities the child initially chose themselves): how you compliment as well as critique.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The objective is to press your kids to make a good EFFORT in whatever it is they try out.  Did he or she do his best?  Whether it is reading or a tennis match, celebrations for achievement should happen with a focus on WHY the achievement was attained (usually through practice, and hard work/dilligence).  Failure should always be accompanied by, &quot;hey great job learning what doesn't work&quot; if the child really did do his or her best.  Failures can be celebrated, too. &quot;Up from the ashes grow the roses of success&quot; - Great! It's disappointing it didn't work, but who is to say it won't next time?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a related question I once read about whether or not it is acceptable to push your kids into sports.  I would say it is cool to push your kids to stay active and choose a sport to try - but let them choose which sport.  Then, only pressure as it relates to if the child is doing his/her best.  &quot;If you skip practice today, are you really doing your best?&quot; Maybe the child is sick and the answer is genuinely yes, maybe not and your kid should get up and go to practice.  This applies whether it is learning an instrument, learning to read, or joining the debate team.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T12:44:11.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6388" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1153" CreationDate="2012-10-29T23:40:27.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is true that it is absolutely essential a child have opportunities to hear and use the language for it to be retained - however, many of the answers here seem to focus solely on the development of fluency in a foreign language as the only worthwhile outcome of such an exercise!  I really have TWO responses for you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Using Langugae Programs With Kids and In particular, Rosetta Stone&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not familiar with a children's Rosetta Stone program but if they have one, I've only ever heard quality comments about their products and would assume these would apply.  If you are speaking about already owning the adult program and using that with your child, you may find it irrelevant and dry for your child (although he or she will still learn from it and from watching you use it - even if the lessons are more about learning how to learn than the language itself). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adult language programs usually begin with travel lingo - how to make hotel reservations and find your way around the city and the like for obvious reasons.  This vocabulary simply isn't relevant for the young who would rather know how to ask for a crayon and a cup of milk to go with those cookies.  I would personally stick to a program for kids (OR go through the whole program yourself - while your child watches and listens in on occasion and then use what you've learned with your child and in conjunction with Children's books in the language)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have used the BBC's Muzzy program.  Very happily, we live an area where there are a lot of Spanish speakers and though he is not fluent, my husband had Spanish in school and watched the Spanish videos with her. This way, they can use Spanish together.  She can do well enough to help her dance teacher translate when necessary.  I have not used German in over 15 years, but spoke it as a child.  About three months ago, she and I started German with Muzzy together.  Now that she is six, the written language computer games have been essential in order to keep her challenged.  She also hears Berlitz lessons (that I'm using for myself for review, but she hears me doing and practicing with the disks often).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the amount of time, &quot;The Bilingual Edge&quot; says that for a child to become fluent in a second language, language exposure must amount to about 80% of their time when learning a language outside of an environment where they are exposed to it with media, street signs and other speakers around them.  If you learn it together, you are not immediately aiming for fluency, but you may want to know that figure so that you can do some extra work to create the richest language environment possible.  For example, I have children's books in German left over from when I was a child she now has access to and we have set up a system like what we used to call &quot;pen pals&quot; but it is &quot;Skype pals&quot; with a little German girl we will start regular language dates with in another month or so.   The little German girl is learning English so they will take turns alternating the languages used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Value in Working Toward Language Aquisition Even When Done Without Native Speakers and in the Home&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The opportunity mentioned above with the little German Girl came up because we started German and the opportunity fell in our lap when the mom was doing some graduate studies in the states where we were and found out I had once spoken German fluently - for a child that is (although I'm pretty rusty).  Since I provide child-care services in the summers, I was the right candidate to care for her child.  Now they are back in Germany, but we have a resource (and friendship) that may not have been available to us had we not already begun our language adventure.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had similar experience when I began learning American Sign Language.  All of a sudden, my brother in law started dating a translated, a new teacher at the school turned up that was deaf (but read lips and had a cochlear implant), AND our new librarian turned out to be deaf.  You never know what might happen when you open that door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My goal with my own little girl is not necessarily fluency, but functionality and at least a laying of the &quot;groundwork&quot;.  She can eventually choose a language she would like to be fluent in and learn it in whatever way we need to make that happen.  Exchange program, Peace Corps, whatever.  Whatever language she chooses in the end, because she will have a background in how to learn another language and how different languages have different grammatical structure, idioms etc.  It will be easier for her to learn her second language of choice than if it was her first exposure to foreign languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum it all up - why not give it a shot and see what happens.  Even if your child walks away not having retained more than hello, goodbye and thank you, it is not a waste of time to have taken the time and taken advantage of the opportunity to learn some other - unrelated lessons along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0061246565&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Link to Book: The Bilingual Edge&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-15T19:57:08.990" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T19:57:08.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3479" CreationDate="2012-10-30T00:03:37.273" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would start introducing ads into your home slowly.  Perhaps it is radio ads that come on while you are in the car at first for example.  Discuss the ads as you hear them.  Stress first that it is the job of the advertiser to make you want to buy/experience something.  When your child hears an ad that peaks her interest have her try to figure out what about the add intrigued her.  Talk about it together.  Also, once in awhile give her a little bit to spend and let her spend on something she wants that is completely frivolous.  Chances are she won't like it much not much later and you guys can analyze that too.  The ad worked!  But did it really make her happy? . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T00:03:37.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3523" CreationDate="2012-10-30T00:23:44.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Torben is right that you can simply refuse to do the activity for them and that it is good to do it WITH them.  I would simply add, that sometimes a warning first (when appropriate) is helpful.  For example, if they ask you to draw a shape for them, sometimes the model is a useful tool.  BEFORE drawing the shape state, &quot;okay, I'm only going to draw one and I'll do it to show you how&quot;.  Then draw the shape.  Draw it slowly and speak about how it is you are drawing it.  Then, refuse to draw more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably know this, but just in case (my husband didn't know this) unstructured time is SUPER important practice time.  Even scribbles are valuable exercise and brain feedback opportunities in the very young.  You mention &quot;holding their hands&quot; but have you ever just let them draw?  just let them scribble?  It doesn't have to &quot;be anything&quot;.  Same thing with play with toys.  Sometimes a car might become a helicopter.  That is alright (as long as it isn't literally flying through the air because it has just been thrown).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you describe can be a common phenomenon with kids that have perfectionistic tendencies (sometimes it is in their nature, sometimes it is brought on by an environmental stimulus).  To make sure it isn't you, try to be really careful about both your compliments and your critiques.  Focus on effort in both situations as much as you can.  Sometimes kids will stop doing things because they figure if they can't do it just exactly right, they shouldn't do it.  Even when they do need correction, if it seems genuine effort was made, celebrate the effort and then learn from the mistake in a celebratory, &quot;look what you learned!&quot; kind of way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they draw a circle with three slight bends in it and call it a triangle don't correct them, instead, ask the child to point out what it is that makes their drawing a triangle.  When they tell you, &quot;because it has three points mommy&quot; and point to the bends, compliment their efforts.  Many children will know a triangle has three sides and three points but cannot actually draw it for awhile.  If your child answers something like, &quot;because it is round&quot;  You can simply say, &quot;oh.  You must mean circle because circles are round.  It is definitely a round shape you drew!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you say, &quot;On their own, they're great with respect to imagination and motivation, it's as soon as we attempt to 'join in' that they back off completely and just want to watch.&quot;  Why must you join in?  If they are having a good time, and playing well on their own, what is wrong with letting them?  Interaction is great, but kids also need &quot;free play&quot; time.  They learn a lot from simply creating their own worlds and how nice that they play so well together.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T00:23:44.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6383" CreationDate="2012-10-30T05:24:02.280" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://vegetarian.lovetoknow.com/Protein_Deficiency_Symptoms&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hair loss&lt;/a&gt; can be an indication of protein deficiency.  I have had many students (primarily girls) who, in an attempt to lose weight, have suddenly decided to go vegetarian or strictly limit their in-take of meat.  While they understand that meat tends to be high in calories, they don't usually understand enough about being a vegetarian to know that they still need to replace that missing protein, and that there are lots of other foods with protein that are not meat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, teenagers are notorious for skipping breakfast and/or lunch or eating nutritionally-poor lunches.  I can't tell you how many teenagers I've seen who eat a bag of chips and drink a Coke and call that a lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hair treatments--especially extreme ones--can cause damage to the hair sometimes causing breakage.  If her child likes to experiment with his/her hair, it may be time to back off for a little while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.patientsmedical.com/healthaz/hormonalimbalance/default.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hormone imbalance&lt;/a&gt; could be the cause.  It seems rare in teenagers, but teenagers are hormonal creatures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, &lt;a href=&quot;http://thyroid.about.com/cs/basics_starthere/a/10signs.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hypo- and hyperthyroidism&lt;/a&gt; both include hair loss as a symptom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's none of those things, then she really should have her child checked out.  It could be a sign of something more serious than any of the things listed above. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T05:24:02.280" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3855" CreationDate="2012-10-30T12:07:43.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Read the book &amp;quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/0143113100&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Brain that changes itself&lt;/a&gt;&amp;quot; by Norman Doidge.  Work by Merzenich indicates that white noise during a critical period of brain development could be very damaging.  The pertinent information begins around page 74.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mumsatryde.org.au/?page_id=368&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here is a summary provided by another website&lt;/a&gt; (Accuracy of the quotes not verified):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants are reared in continuously more noisy environments. There is always a din,” he says. White noise is everywhere now, coming from fans in our electronics, air conditioners, heaters and car engines. How would such noise affect the developing brain? Merzenich wondered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To test this hypothesis, his group exposed rat pups to pulses of white noise throughout their critical period [of brain development during infancy] and found that the pups [brain] cortices were devastated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“Every time you have a pulse,” Merzenich says, “you are exciting everything in the auditory cortex – every neuron.” So many neurons firing results in a massive BDNF [hormone] release. And as his model predicted, this exposure brings the critical period to a premature close. The animals are left with undifferentiated brain maps and utterly indiscriminate neurons that get turned on by any frequency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Merzenich found that these rat pups, like autistic children, were predisposed to epilepsy, and exposing them to normal speech caused them to have epileptic fits… Merzenich now had his animal model for autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recent brain scan studies now confirm that autistic children do indeed process sound in an abnormal way. Merzenich thinks that the undifferentiated cortex helps to explain why they have trouble learning, because a child with an undifferentiated cortex has a very difficult time paying attention. When asked to focus on one thing, these children experience booming, buzzing confusion – one reason autistic children often withdraw from the world and develop a shell. Merzenich thinks this same problem, in a milder form, may contribute to more common attention disorders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The extract comes from “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge, 2010 revised edition, Scribe Publications Pty Ltd, pages 81-82.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3391" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T16:01:20.860" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6393" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-30T13:42:13.823" Score="3" ViewCount="2266" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last week we went as a family to see a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1597522/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;film&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite apart from the fact that it was awful (in my opinion), both daughters (4 1/2 &amp;amp; 7 1/2) were troubled at various times by the silly slapstick violence (i.e. big rock falling on dogs).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Afterwards, I tried to explain that it's not because it &lt;em&gt;looks&lt;/em&gt; real that it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; real, but that's a pretty hard concept to get across. I'm thinking about trying to make our own video with 'special effects', but wondered if anyone has other tips/experiences related to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorUserId="691" LastEditDate="2012-10-30T13:55:05.563" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T11:54:54.170" Title="Resources for helping children understand that TV/Films aren't necessarily &quot;real&quot;" Tags="|television|learning|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6393" CreationDate="2012-10-30T13:44:17.667" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's any resources for this, it's simple life experience. The most important thing they learn isn't that it is not real, but how to distinguish. It's about them learning that what they see on TV and in movies isn't always appropriate and often should not be emulated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T13:44:17.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6395" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6497" CreationDate="2012-10-30T14:01:08.820" Score="4" ViewCount="3925" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5-year-old son recently had a cold and his upper lip got sore. He took to biting it. His cold is now gone but he keeps chewing his upper lip and it hasn't healed yet.  We keep putting salve on it to try to heal it but he keeps chewing it off. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-17T12:21:15.907" LastActivityDate="2019-05-17T12:21:15.907" Title="How to get my 2.5-year-old to stop chewing his upper lip?" Tags="|toddler|health|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6396" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6410" CreationDate="2012-10-30T19:10:19.427" Score="9" ViewCount="1961" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2, and is seemingly a perpetual motion machine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He constantly wants me to &quot;play cars&quot; (we stand at a window sill and smash matchbox cars into each other), play &quot;tag&quot; or &quot;chase me&quot; around the house, or get down on the floor with him to play with his train sets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the one hand, I love it.  Its cute, healthy, and flattering that he so clearly wants me to participate in his activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand... keeping up with him is &lt;strong&gt;hard&lt;/strong&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its not just the physical aspect that is difficult to keep up with (although I am constantly astonished by just how much energy he seems to have!).  In all honesty, some of the things he wants me to do are just so boring I have a hard time keeping at it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's only so long I can smash matchbox cars together, or push a wooden train around a track, or spin around in circles until we become dizzy, before I want to add some depth to the game, or move onto something new.  My son, however, seems able to do these things for hours on end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think its great that he can focus on something he finds fun, and stick with that for extended periods of time.  I don't want to discourage that behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I find a proper balance between participating in the activities he enjoys, and wants me to share with him, and my limits of endurance/patience? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time, I am happy to jump in for half an hour to an hour and a half (sometimes more, sometimes less), and generally he seems quite content with that.  But how do I approach this when I'm feeling particularly stressed/tired/sick, when my ability to do these sorts of things seems much lower than normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it horrible for me to find myself bored with some of these games?  It makes me feel like I may be doing a bad job as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T01:28:07.150" Title="How do you keep up with a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|play-time|parents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6397" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-30T19:25:28.630" Score="20" ViewCount="55768" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 8 and has always been argumentative and basically lazy with doing ANYTHING since he could talk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has homework that takes ten minutes, he will take two hours due to just leaving the desk or putting his head down, or simply refusing. This part has been going on for 3 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried having a hard line with this, and also helping him but it always turns out the same; he will claim something is &quot;too hard&quot;, which I know is not true because it is just usually copying down words. He just doesn't want to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding chores, all he has to do is keep his room basically tidy (which he always cries about and it turns into conflict), and clean the cat box every few days. He always needs constant monitoring when it comes to completing anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even taking a shower and brushing his teeth, he needs to be watched and if not, he will not wash well or at all. He will brush his teeth in 30 seconds and with a tiny dot of toothpaste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried praise for every little thing done right, rewarding him (gets 5 $ a week for allowance if he does them without too much arguing). We have also tried cutting off xbox privileges, etc. Nothing works and nothing motivates him. Is there ANYTHING I can do to kickstart some interest in him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even sports are an issue because he has tried everything, and if he cannot master it right away, he gives up or has a bad attitude, despite our encouragement. I'm afraid he will never grow out of this and of course I want him to be productive and have a fulfilling life!&#xA;(BTW, he is a loving, happy and sensitive boy otherwise, and a mediocre student that does not cause problems at school besides talking too much once in a while. No abuse issues/family problems, no diagnosed disorders of anyone in family.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your input.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3392" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-07-08T12:45:16.137" LastActivityDate="2017-12-27T23:38:41.647" Title="How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|motivation|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6396" CreationDate="2012-10-30T19:31:11.843" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If only you could bottle and sell some of that excess energy, you'd be rich!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes you just need to explain to the child that they have to play on their own for a while.  They won't like it but after 5 minutes alone they'll usually find something with which to amuse themselves.  The hardest part is for you to not feel guilty during those 5 minutes.  Every time you give in will make it longer the next time, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it stops being fun for you, the child needs to know that and either change the game or go your separate ways.  You don't have to be mean about it but it's important for children to learn that other people have wants as well and those need to be respected.  That's how life is in The Real World(tm).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are infinitely adaptable!  Treat them with respect, explain your reasons, and follow through with it.  They don't have to like it.  They just have to accept it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So no...  You're not a bad parent for being bored.  You're a good parent for caring that you're bored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T19:31:11.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6354" CreationDate="2012-10-30T19:31:56.867" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely try different flavors and even different brands of the same flavor (if possible). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter hated the cherry flavor of brand X, but brand Y's is pretty much her favorite thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2695" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T19:31:56.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6397" CreationDate="2012-10-30T21:41:24.817" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh gosh. You want your son to be motivated by rewards, rather by the intrinsic value of something? (Basically, your child has a stronger sense of dignity than he has an interest in whatever rewards you are offering. I'd be thanking my lucky stars.) Besides, What happens when he is an adult? How will he keep his room clean if no one is there to give him reward? When he has a job, how will he know if his performance is up to par, if no one is giving him stickers or praise?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praise is actually counter-productive. Excessively praising a child leads him to wonder what is so wrong with him that the adults around him have decided he needs personal cheerleaders? Particularly if you are calling him &quot;talented&quot;, &quot;smart&quot; a lot, then at the first time of initial difficulty he is going to be wary of trying if the very act of effort might cause him to lose this image. This could well be what is happening around Sports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, conversely, punishing him doesn't actually teach him anything except that you are mean. Think back to a time when &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; were punished, what did you &lt;strong&gt;learn&lt;/strong&gt;? You probably thought you would find a way to get back at them (rebellion), or that next time you wouldn't get caught (resentment) or that you must be pretty terrible (resignation, not helpful either).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I run my classrooms &lt;strong&gt;without rewards or punishments&lt;/strong&gt; and instead teach my students, and reinforce, the skills necessary to participate in an inclusive, collaborative, respectful classroom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly, strongly encourage you to check out Carol Dweck's work for further information into why praise is not only useless, it is harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, try encouragement (not praise). Help him to see and reflect upon &lt;strong&gt;himself&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;How was that for you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I noticed you gave your sister a smile today.&quot; (called &lt;strong&gt;non&lt;/strong&gt; evaluative statements ie just notice him without judging him, let him do the reflecting)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What does it feel like when you try something new?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, you want to create space for him to discover and practice life. &lt;strong&gt;Connect with him&lt;/strong&gt;. Ask him questions with genuine curiosity about his process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would really read Positive Discipline. You want him to develop personal hygiene habits &lt;strong&gt;for the sake of being clean and healthy&lt;/strong&gt; not because you are dancing around with a reward at the ready. Why will he clean his teeth at 25 when (I am assuming) you will not be there to raise his allowance?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I would make it part of the bedtime/morning routine. &quot;In this family we brush our teeth so we can be healthy. How would you like to arrange the order of your bedtime routine? What should we put on there?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach him skills, don't just do things for him (including prioritizing things).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2015-02-04T13:06:27.780" LastActivityDate="2015-02-04T13:06:27.780" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3304" CreationDate="2012-10-30T21:43:58.740" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I didn't travel with my Alice when she was that age, but had the opportunity to get paid for a one month trip into the rainforests in Costa Rica with a bunch of teenagers to teach them about rainforest botany.  My daughter would have been about five months old at the time of the trip.  I sobbed as I got on the plane because I would miss her so much, but took my hand pump, pictures and an international calling card.  The pump was more so I wouldn't go dry while I was gone than so I could store anything.  I had prepared my husband with an ample supply before leaving.  It was hard to leave her but for a botanist/teacher it was the trip of a lifetime.  Let your wife know that if you stick with this plan, she isn't alone in making such a decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your concern is more about when to fly, I did take Alice with me on a domestic flight (about four hours) and subsequent bus trip (another three hours) just the two of us about a month prior to the Costa Rica trip so we could see my parents for the holidays (my husband could not join us due to business).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was no big deal.  I tried to time things so she would nurse while we took off and descended (helps with ear popping and gave her an immune boost) and brought a few entertainments if needed.  I also set it up so the flight was during her usual sleep hours so she hardly even noticed we were on a plane.  She was great!  I was probably grumpier than she at the time of arrival at my parents place (after the bus trip there is another hour and a half on a ferry before getting to their town).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T21:43:58.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6396" CreationDate="2012-10-30T21:50:38.803" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember that dealing with disappointment is another important life lesson parents need to teach.  You don't have to be a martyr to be a good parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to spend more time with him without exhausting yourself, a few things you can try are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Just be a spectator.  Tell him you need to rest for a while, but you will watch him, or at least stay in the room and look up once in a while.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Invite him to watch or participate in something you need to do or prefer to do.  If you need to cook dinner let him help, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find activities you can both agree on.  Introduce him to some new activities that aren't quite so boring for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T21:50:38.803" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6395" CreationDate="2012-10-30T21:52:20.680" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are his lips pretty chapped? I would keep putting salve (I assume that is like vaseline, or chapstick or something?)on his lip and probably around/under his nose - that skin is probably roughed up from having to wipe his nose so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him if it is hurting or bothering him? Even if it is not visibly chapped, it could still be bothering him. Make sure he is getting plenty of liquids to hydrate his lips as that will help with the healing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long has it been since he had the cold? I am sure it will work its way over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may have started it during his cold but discovered its soothing effects, like nail biting. Does he normally have issues with anxiety? When he's doing it, ask him if something is bother him, or what is he worried about, etc. And then I would just distract him with something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, when he's doing it, say &quot;oops, looks like its time for some lip medicine (salve)&quot; with the idea that he will learn to ask for it himself when his lip is bothering him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T21:52:20.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6396" CreationDate="2012-10-30T22:15:30.200" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try reading some of Greenspan's books about his Floortime approach. You can begin to put 'conflict' into the child's play to promote learning. Let the child 'practice' life through his play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if you're playing his favorite car smashing game, grab a dinosaur toy instead. &quot;Rawr, you can keep playing your silly games little humans, but I am going to eat you all for dinner!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spark his creativity by trying to get out of that one!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you initiate the initial spark, let him lead through the response. He will learn and practice all kinds of useful skills: decision-making, innovation, creativity, conflict resolution, analysis, etc, AND it should make things more interesting for the both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, you still have the option to take alone time if/when you need it. But certainly try doing these techniques in addition, to make the most of play time: learning and bonding!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-30T22:15:30.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6405" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6406" CreationDate="2012-10-30T22:25:30.903" Score="3" ViewCount="3131" Body="&lt;p&gt;A relative ate peanut butter and gave my son a few kisses on the cheek.  A little while later (15-20 ins), we saw a bunch of red bumps on his cheek.  We can't rule out every other possibility but I wanted to see if its possible if this could be a sign of a peanut allergy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T04:01:04.117" Title="Can you detect peanut allergies in babies from kissing on the cheek?" Tags="|allergies|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6405" CreationDate="2012-10-30T22:44:09.880" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a doctor, but I believe so. I would call your pediatrician and do some google-ing in the meantime. And, keep your baby away from peanuts for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know people have varying degrees of sensitivities and I've known friends that can have a reaction from contact with someone else that had contact with whatever they are allergic to. I don't see why babies or children would be different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I just asked my partner, a nurse, and she says that people can react simply from the breath of another person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder if it is peanuts or something else? But still, I would be very aware of the potential for concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-10-31T00:00:24.287" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T00:00:24.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6393" CreationDate="2012-10-31T00:04:20.633" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;These experiences stick with kids a lot more than most (American) parents believe. Here is a true story: a friend of my son, about 13 at the time,  was undergoing emergency surgery for a broken appendix that had been going on for way too long. This was a scary life &amp;amp; death situation. So it's a 3am in the morning, they are getting ready for the surgery and his mother and the doc talk through his fears and concerns. One of his main concerns is: &quot;Will they put marbles in my belly during the operation&quot;, and the doctor answers: &quot;Sorry, it's the middle of the night and we are totally out of marbles so we can't put any in and you don't have to worry about this&quot;. The mother is utterly flabbergasted and has no idea what this is about so she asks the doctor. Apparently he gets this question all the time and has a well rehearsed answer for it. There is a particularly nasty horror movie where a guy gets tortured by cutting his belly open and filling it with marbles. This seems to make a very lasting impression on many kids, at lasting enough that it's a frequent concern for belly surgery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the story illustrates that kids are actually not particularly good in separating fact and fiction. Some of these experiences can really stick and bubble up in emotionally challenging situations. So a certain amount of control of what they are watching and exposed to is a really good idea. The amount to which is this advisable will heavily depend on country and culture. I raised kids in the US and in Europe and the US is particularly bad at this. According to this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.csun.edu/science/health/docs/tv&amp;amp;health.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.csun.edu/science/health/docs/tv&amp;amp;health.html&lt;/a&gt; website the average kid has seen 8000 murders on TV by the end of elementary school. Some of those will stay with them for a long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3044" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T00:04:20.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6405" CreationDate="2012-10-31T04:01:04.117" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;While life would be easier if you could always connect A to B, things usually aren't that simple.  It's quite possible that the &quot;bunch of red bumps&quot; you describe were a) there already but you didn't notice, b) related to something entirely different, or c) essentially random (which describes most baby acne).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to make sure, I'd just dab some peanut butter on eg. his back (basically anywhere he can't touch or lick) and leave it there for a minute.  If he gets bumps again, then he's allergic; if he doesn't, then it was a fluke.  And yes, this should be fairly safe to do, as severe reactions generally require contact with the eyes, nose or mouth (&lt;a href=&quot;http://pbskids.org/arthur/parentsteachers/lesson/health/pdf/Binky_Peanut_Allergy_QA.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jacionline.org/article/S0091-6749%2803%2901120-5/fulltext&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;).  YMMV, I'm not a doctor, disclaimers apply, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T04:01:04.117" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6409" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-10-31T12:16:51.263" Score="3" ViewCount="57844" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is in the early stages of pregnancy with our second baby. Our daughter, who is 1 year and 5 months old, has been acting unusually cranky.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some family members have mentioned that she's acting that way because she can tell her mommy is pregnant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that possible? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3171" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-10-31T19:41:38.013" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T04:49:29.590" Title="Can a toddler tell if their mother is pregnant?" Tags="|toddler|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6396" CreationDate="2012-10-31T13:07:57.513" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Have fun together, but back off sometimes and just watch. And when you're too exhausted, just say so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your son is lucky to have a dad that is so engaged. You're certainly not doing a bad job of it! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You just need to steal Iron Man's power source and put it in your chest. If that can't be accomplished, then you could try some of these ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Simply &lt;em&gt;tell you son when you're not operating on 100% energy&lt;/em&gt; (i.e. when sick, exhausted). He will eventually understand that this means he can still have your attention but with less enthusiasm. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Suggest activities/games where you don't have to be as active as him. Better yet, &lt;em&gt;become a spectator.&lt;/em&gt; My son is just as happy playing in front of me while I watch as when I participate, and then he doesn't reprimand me for my &quot;wrong&quot; play either ;) Sometimes I play along a little in the beginning, and/or again along the way, but he's glad to just have my company. Of course I'm not allowed to do anything very spectacular while I watch, so no smartphone for me just then. But I can get away with reading some book or papers. I just have to watch and converse a little at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let him play in his style. You can try to &lt;em&gt;play in your style alongside him.&lt;/em&gt; When he finds just &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; Lego Duplo blocks fascinating, you can use the rest to build the tallest possible tower, or assemble &lt;em&gt;all the red ones&lt;/em&gt; into the most compact shape possible. These are simple but fun challenges that work for me.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Yesterday we drove my mom to the airport - when we came home, I started to build an airplane out of Lego Duplo. My son participated and inadvertently but repeatedly showed me which parts needed to be sturdier. The end result was interest but still somewhat recognizable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've mentioned my preference for &lt;em&gt;open-ended toys&lt;/em&gt; before: Lego is the absolute best, and Brio railroad tracks and other buildable/creative toys are great too. My son nearly never catches me playing with his toy phone because it's just not that engaging. All these electronic baby doodads are mostly single-purpose or single-intention toys, and for all their blinkenlights and beepy sounds, they just aren't fun for very long. Pick toys that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; find interesting and I'm sure your son will benefit from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T13:07:57.513" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6397" CreationDate="2012-10-31T13:14:26.037" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;@Cara, this is not a problem with him, it's a problem with your parenting style. It sounds like you are trying to control every aspect of his life and smothering him with advice, demands, rewards, and punishments. He is confused and frustrated at not being able to control anything about his life, so he does the one thing that gives him control: he refuses to cooperate. You want obedience, but what you really should be looking for is cooperation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are making decisions for him rather than allowing him to make them himself. Some children will deal with this by cooperating, but others rebel. My advice is to back off and give him some freedom. Give him choices, not of what he is going to do (homework or not), but how he goes about them: rather than tell him to do his homework now (or else), give him a choice between doing his homework now or after something. Does he want to do his homework in his room, or at the dining table. He's still going to do his homework, but he gets to chose where, or when, or even which pen he's going to use. That makes a big difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try using expectations rather than rewards and punishments, because if you reward or punish everything they become meaningless. Set the expectation, then trust he will get it done and leave him to it. Express disappointment when he does not, but only punish when he does something really bad, and reward when his behavior is above expectation. Learn to live with it when his behavior is in between, as it is going to be hard to have a good relationship with him if you're always having an argument. Pick your battles, don't make everything a battle because with some kids if you are always looking for a battle you'll get one! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he's got spirit, so channel that by challenging him to solve his own problems rather then coming down on him for everything he does wrong. If he forgets to clean the cat box simply say &quot;I see a dirty cat box.&quot; or &quot;This cat box needs cleaning, you have said you will do it and I expect you to be a man of your word.&quot; Give him the chance to rectify it. Let him know that you are relying on him and you trust him to do what he says. Write it all down if you need to, and stick to it. Try to make things a learning experience, and let him learn the lessons with your help, rather than you telling him the lessons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try not to set your expectations too high. He's an 8 year old boy, you can't expect a paragon of cleanliness and virtue, believe me! You also can't expect him to always do things right. He's going to disobey - often, and skirt around the rules as much as he can. There will be times he disappoints you, but there will also be times he amazes you with what he can do, but only if you let him! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T13:14:26.037" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6393" CreationDate="2012-10-31T13:48:58.023" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly.. I find watching the &quot;Making of&quot; and the extras on the blu-rays or dvd's really puts it into perspective. They show the actors when they aren't in character and how the CG is done. I have found it very helpful for explaining &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T13:48:58.023" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6409" CreationDate="2012-10-31T14:02:06.910" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Um, I'm sure it is possible, but I don't really understand the point?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is unusually cranky, I think it's better to investigate the more likely sources. Has her schedule been disrupted? Is she getting enough sleep? Is she teething/hurting? Are you spending quality time with her? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, if your wife is pregnant, this may be changing your wife's level of crankiness which would then affect your daughter! So make sure your wife is as comfortable as possible, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T14:02:06.910" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6414" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6441" CreationDate="2012-10-31T14:02:37.660" Score="2" ViewCount="357" Body="&lt;p&gt;To keep this short sweet and simple... I have a 8 year old who has been diagnosed with ADHD and has been on all the typical medications. I will admit they do help significantly but I still see things with his mental maturity that concern me. Here is a brief list of things that make me feel like he needs further assistance. I feel like his mentality is that of a 3 year old on a lot of areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concerning behavior of my 8yr old:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Still wetting the bed at night (tried hormones, spoke to doctor says normal)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lies frequently&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take zero responsibility, makes excuses for everything, back talking 100%&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Still extremely Clumsy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Never cleans his mouth so its always dirty&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plays in shower but rarely washes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Doesn't wipe his butt after using the pooper&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can't be given any responsibility or he fails at even the most simplest tasks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Doesn't listen to ANYTHING&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jeez, after reading the list is sounds just like a normal kid almost. I guess I can't really express how bad it really is though through this post. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts, or ideas would be great he is a constant sore spot for me and my wife's relationship. I find the only thing he responds to is physical punishment, but I have been banned from such punishment by the wife so its all time outs and groundings which don't do crap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-01T23:27:18.970" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T18:19:10.523" Title="Getting a good diagnosis for possible mental issues?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2052" CreationDate="2012-10-31T14:04:20.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sure it is possible to do it in 3 days, but you have to wait until the child is actually ready. They should be showing interest, and waking up dry, etc. Like the first author says. If the parent is the one initiating the process, it is going to take however much time it takes until the child is ready. Better to just wait until they've mastered the physical skills necessary instead of trying to force something you can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T14:04:20.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6409" CreationDate="2012-10-31T14:09:34.947" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If by &quot;6th sense&quot; you mean &quot;intuitive&quot; then certainly.  Kids are amazing at picking up on little signals, some you give out naturally and some you give in response to what they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Your&lt;/em&gt; actions and reactions will have certainly changed to some degree with this news.  As a guess, I'd say she's noticed (probably unconsciously) that things have changed somehow but doesn't understand how or why.  This uncertainty is bothering her and it reflects in her behavior.  It's always the unknown that scares us the most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then it could be something completely unrelated.  :-)  Aren't kids fun?!?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T14:09:34.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6414" CreationDate="2012-10-31T14:16:48.080" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, punishment doesn't do anything except build resentment (in the best-case scenario). Have you tried spending time with your child and investing in the relationship? You're going to need the return on this investment when he is a teenager and able to fight back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for bedwetting, it is more common than you might think, especially for boys that age. If he hasn't developed the physical means to control his body during sleep, which he hasn't or he would, then punishing him won't do anything but shame him and destroy his sense of self. Rather, you could help him &lt;em&gt;learn&lt;/em&gt; how to handle this challenge. It is reasonable that he be expected to change his sheets, and put the dirty clothes in the laundry, etc. No shame, no issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the rest, I hear a lot of labeling, and frustration and I'm sure its only perpetuating the cycle. In my opinion, children do better when they feel better, just like the rest of us. This doesn't mean personal cheerleaders, but it means having faith in him and communicating that faith. It means teaching him the skills to be successful. It means having family meetings where everyone can help share responsibility, make decisions, and solve problems together as a family. And it means being a mirror to help him notice and reflect upon his own behavior and growth, rather than constantly being judged (positively or negatively) by others (parents, teachers, etc). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For exactly how to do this, I suggest reading Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson. It will help you learn to invite cooperation rather than demanding obedience. Obedience can feel nice in the short term, but doesn't really do much to prepare him for life as an independent adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, for what this looks like in a family, I recommend the following blogs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.CanWeHugItOut.blogspot.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Can we hug it out?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ParentingFromScratch.wordpress.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parenting From Scratch&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T18:19:10.523" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T18:19:10.523" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6414" CreationDate="2012-10-31T14:28:53.650" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also have an 8-year old boy.  Though he doesn't behave as extremely as yours, I can certainly extrapolate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bed wetting: Get a good mattress protector and don't worry about it.  It already affects him with natural consequences (both in discomfort and embarrassment) so you should just love and support him.  If he's doing it to &quot;punish&quot; you, not letting it bother you will effectively stop that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no responsibility: Hold him responsible.  Make sure the natural consequences apply.  Explain why it's a problem.  But don't get upset or punish him -- just enforce the natural consequences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;excuses:  The reason doesn't matter.  The consequences result from actions, not reasons.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lying: Punish every lie.  Natural consequences are harder here as they're long-term and difficult for children to grasp.  My kids go 24-hours with no privileges.  Some parents make this a spanking offense.  You have to judge this yourself.  When those natural consequences do occur, typically due to lack of trust, make sure you tie them back so he knows.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;doesn't wash:  Eating dirt turns out to be good for you (at least in some ways).  Don't serve him food until he's washed.  The natural consequence of not washing before coming to the table is that you don't get to eat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;doesn't wipe:  Send him back.  Check.  Not allowed to do &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; else (play, go out, eat, etc.) until it's clean.  Again, don't get upset -- just calmly and pleasantly enforce the consequences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;doesn't listen:  Perfectly normal.  :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;always fails:  Because he has no purpose to succeed.  He needs to want to succeed.  This is the hardest because giving a child purpose takes a lot of time and patience.  It would take forever to write out options but I'll note that Stephen Covey gives an excellent example of this with his son in the &lt;em&gt;7 Habits of Highly Effective People&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll also point you towards &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6262/how-can-i-deal-with-my-unreasonable-8-year-old-with-adhd/6266#6266&quot;&gt;this related question&lt;/a&gt; that I also tried to answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T14:28:53.650" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6316" CreationDate="2012-10-31T17:42:26.860" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm currently in the process of learning ASL to teach my upcoming child.  Most baby ASL systems are recommending parents learn about 50 words used as one or two word setences, without really any intention of learning full ASL, which has upward of 10,000 signs and a grammar that is as complex as any foreign language.  In a world where small things have small results, I would think learning 50 words of a foreign language would have small results in the long term. In the short term, the parenting should be more pleasant and less stressful for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a separate literature on raising bilingual children who learn two languages fully at something close to a native level, i.e. much more than 50 words. Ref this NYT article for a sample of benefits: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/the-benefits-of-bilingualism.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/the-benefits-of-bilingualism.html?_r=0&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T17:42:26.860" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6420" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6506" CreationDate="2012-10-31T20:36:25.953" Score="2" ViewCount="128" Body="&lt;p&gt;What sort of formula should I look for for a very new newborn that doesn't promote constipation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3376" LastEditorUserId="3376" LastEditDate="2012-11-01T15:17:31.557" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T15:21:53.287" Title="What are good things to look for in formulas for newborns who need to supplement?" Tags="|newborn|feeding|formula|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6409" CreationDate="2012-10-31T22:43:29.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think it is possible for a 1 year and 5 month old baby to know if his mother is pregnant or not.  He may be acting that way because of other reasons but not because your wife is getting pregnant.  Better to observe your child's behavior and check what he actually needs. By the way, congratulations for your wife's second baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T22:43:29.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6396" CreationDate="2012-10-31T22:52:18.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ages two and three's are classified as the troublesome age. Your child is really hyperactive at this age, and he always wants to try everything.  I understand your concerns that as much as you would like to involve yourself in your child's play activities, there are times when you can't go with the flow.  In this cases, it is best to try to introduce to your child new activities that both of you will enjoy doing.  You can bring him out, like a walk in the park or ride in a bicycle, so he can experience something new.  You can also become spectator as others mentioned here, so you can give your child space to grow and discover things on his own.  You can also invite your neighbor's children to play with him, so he can widen his social circle, and he can also develop his socialization skills.  Anyhow, I congratulate you for being a hands on parent.  I know your child is too proud to have you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-10-31T22:52:18.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5690" CreationDate="2012-10-31T23:04:53.280" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as your child is on the normal range of the BMI percentile, you have nothing to worry about.  If there is only slight changes in the BMI curve, it may be due to your child's activities, which is normal because she is growing up.  But you should regularly monitor your child's BMI using a baby calculator, so you can be sure that there is no any drastic changes in the weight, so she won't be at risk of being underweight.  If you think there is a radical change, better to check with your pediatrician, so she can be given proper medical attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:42:57.003" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:42:57.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6424" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6437" CreationDate="2012-11-01T00:39:40.950" Score="6" ViewCount="279" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids have been out for the night and returned each with a big bag of candy.  My wife and I are wondering the best rules for the consumption of such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the past we've set limits of letting them have one after each meal but I know some parents let them eat as much as they want, telling them that when it's gone, it's gone and if they get sick, to don't go complaining about it -- might as well learn lessons about over-eating at an early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What &lt;em&gt;facts&lt;/em&gt; are there to support either of these two policies, or any other policy for that matter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Follow-Up:&lt;/strong&gt;  Thanks everyone for all the information.  FYI, here's what we decided:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can eat as much or as little as you want.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can only eat it directly after a healthy and balanced lunch/dinner -- not breakfast, not snacks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any eating of candy outside these times will result in immediate and permanent confiscation of all remaining candy.  &lt;em&gt;(My son actually asked, &quot;Will we get the bag back for next year?&quot;)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You must brush your teeth well as soon as you're finished after which no more candy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When it's gone, it's gone.  No asking the other if you can have some.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you eat so much that you get sick or a tummy-ache, don't be complaining about it -- learn from it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Funny thing...  My kids (boy=8y, girl=5y) are already talking about how they're only going to eat one or two at at time to make it last.  I &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; love kids!  &amp;lt;tearing up&amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2012-11-02T12:53:25.823" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T22:11:15.267" Title="How Much Hallowe'en Candy?" Tags="|eating|junkfood|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6424" CreationDate="2012-11-01T01:21:17.117" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is a good question, but I'm not sure there really is a right or wrong answer per se. Families always have their own traditions within larger holiday traditions. Some kids open presents on christmas eve, some aren't allowed to until after church christmas morning. It really just depends on your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing I can think of is that as far as I know Dentists prefer kids to eat whatever they're allowed in one sitting and then brush their teeth, rather than letting them spread it out all night long and not ensuring they are brushing. And of course, candies that linger in the mouth are not so great from a dental perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, I mean, I think it would have been better to figure out your family policy before the night in question! They should know what to expect before putting on their costumes, otherwise you're setting yourself for battles needlessly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, holidays should be fun and it is good to have treats! Certainly I think it is okay to lighten up and celebrate with your kids on holidays that your family participates in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, I don't think kids will really get that sick from eating their candy in one sitting, but the long-term effects are a problem. And, its near impossible to get kids to understand long-term consequences so you're going to have to set the limit on this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were me, I'd have them each pick out 10-15 favorites to eat tonight and the rest becomes a dessert option after dinner or something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T01:21:17.117" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6396" CreationDate="2012-11-01T01:28:07.150" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can sympathize, my daughter is 15 months and seems to be able to go go go. My life-savers are my local playgroup and just going out for a walk/shopping/errands. I try to let her do things herself as much as possible, but the best thing is just to have other people around to distract her from seeking my attention for at least a couple of hours so I can recharge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another tip that works for me, especially as I like to have a few minutes to drink my coffee in the morning and check email, is to tell her I want her to do something that she doesn't like to do. This usually means for me to change her diaper and get her dressed. All of a sudden she is trying to avoid me and gets really engrossed in her toys. I noticed how annoying this was when I was trying to get us ready to leave and go somewhere, but now I just allot 30-45 minutes for this song and dance of taking off and putting on an item every 10-15 minutes, and in between I get some time to myself. Of course, this depends on the personality of your kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, try to get out and interact with other people, it'll take the pressure off of you. We can't afford any of those classes, but we go to the park and the playgroup and visit friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3363" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T01:28:07.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6064" CreationDate="2012-11-01T05:03:00.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a simple suggestion for temporarily restoring your sanity: move his crib/bed into your bedroom.  This will make settling him if he wakes up &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; easier and faster, and hopefully he'll be sufficiently reassured by your presence in the same room that he'll start to settle himself and allow you to sleep through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The obvious problem with this is that you've now got a 2-year-old in your bedroom, and you'll need to shift him back into his own room at some point, at which point the cycle may recur.  But at least you might get some sleep in the meantime?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T05:03:00.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4078" CreationDate="2012-11-01T10:32:14.913" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can relate with your question.  My husband and I comes from two different cultural and religious background, so you could just imagine that we do have a lot of differences when it comes to belief and many other things.  Same thing with parenting, we also have different views on how we are going to raise our child.  Good thing, we are always trying to talk about things and come up with the best solution.  It is difficult though, at times, but we learned that we need to be open-minded for the good of our child.  Despite disagreements, we both love our child, so what's best for him is our priority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T10:32:14.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6354" CreationDate="2012-11-01T10:43:27.690" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If my son, wouldn't like to take his medicines, I usually mix it with his milk or food, so he would'nt notice that it has a medicine.  Sometimes, I also try to make up stories so I can divert his attention,so he will take the medicine.  Like I'm giving him lots of praises if he will take his medicines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T10:43:27.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="626" CreationDate="2012-11-01T13:10:04.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If my child is experiencing any of the symptoms that you mentioned, I will immediately bring him to the doctor.   It is better to be given proper treatment early on, so it will not get worst.  Babies cannot articulate what they are actually feeling, so it is best to leave it all to the experts.  I would not mind going here and there to the doctor, as long as I know that my baby is okay.  Besides, paying consultation fees for check up and some medicines are more affordable compared with your child being confined in a hospital.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T13:10:04.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2012-11-01T13:29:53.930" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the most effective ways to improve your child's vocabulary is to provide them more word games.  In this way, they will have a fun and exciting way to learn new words.  You can expose them to Scrabble for instance.  There are available scrabble games, suited for young children. You can also buy learning materials like books and other media, to help develop their vocabulary skills.  There are also tools online like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogmybrain.com/scrabble-word-finder/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://blogmybrain.com/scrabble-word-finder/&lt;/a&gt;, wherein you can choose a level suited for your child's age.  There are many other interactive vocabulary games online, which you can use to help your child improve their vocabulary, in a fun way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T13:29:53.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6239" CreationDate="2012-11-01T13:39:08.787" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also observed this thing with my 1 year and 8 month old son. He really tends to go near the TV and then, when I asked him to move over, after some time he is there again.  Whenever he does this, its almost routinary that I have to pick him away from the TV, and then he goes back, again. Sometimes, what I do, is I put some barriers so he wont get too near the TV, or I will get his favorite chair, so he will be encourage to sit on his designated area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T13:39:08.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2012-11-01T14:03:36.590" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sister is a dentist, so she gave a cute toothbrush with lights on it.  When my son saw it, he was too excited to use it, and he keeps on playing with it, while I was helping him to brush his teeth.  Then I also bought fruit flavored toothpaste, so he would enjoy his toothbrush experience.  If doesn't like to brush his teeth, I don't force him, but I am trying my best to train him to develop his brushing routine.  It will really takes time and patience to teach children.  Anyhow, I believe that when grows older, he will be able to realized the importance of brushing his teeth.  For the meantime, that he doesn't know yet, I have to patiently wait for the moment when he is on the mood to brush, or I make up stories to encourage him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T14:03:36.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6424" CreationDate="2012-11-01T15:02:37.383" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend and I were talking about that last night.  My personal deal with Halloween candy is actually not the Halloween candy itself, but its representation of the beginning of a season of on-going candy and sweets and treats that come trekking through my house from now until after Christmas.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://tysons-dental.com/halloween-candy-and-teeth-care-advice/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; dentist in Virginia has a good set of policies and the reasons behind them on his website.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Set Rules Early&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;You know, discuss how the candy is going to be doled out, when it can be eaten, and how much can be eaten at a time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Screen the Loot&lt;/strong&gt;  Obviously, make sure the candy is safe to be eaten by your kids and is age-appropriate.  We pull out things like hard candies (which simply aren't appropriate for a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old in addition to being hard on the teeth) and bubble gum (I have a personal distaste of bubble gum--sorry) as well as candy that we know none of us are going to eat anyway (licorice)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Control the Candy&lt;/strong&gt;  This is pretty obvious.  You're the parent, you set the candy rules.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Soft and Sticky&lt;/strong&gt;  Steer kids away from candy like gummy bears, taffy, caramels, etc. as they tend to stick to teeth and braces.  And if you're kids have fillings and sealants, they need to stay away from caramel and candy apples as they can pull them out (my mom had this happen once when eating a Sugar Daddy!).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Hard Candy&lt;/strong&gt;  Sucking on hard candy exposes the teeth to sugar for long periods of time; crunching down on it too soon (as kids are want to do) can cause damage to teeth (I did this when I was pregnant with my daughter.  Cracked teeth=no fun!).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Safe Candies&lt;/strong&gt;  Include soft, non-sticky candies like chocolates, M&amp;amp;M's, and peanut butter.  Granted, while these are safest for teeth, if your kid is allergic to peanut butter then clearly you need to stay clear of candy that includes that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Set an Example&lt;/strong&gt;  In other words, don't let your kids know or suspect that Mom and Dad are eating their stash of candy without following the rules that you (as parent) have established.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bait and Switch&lt;/strong&gt;  This particular dentist legitimately points out that if you eliminate all the candy he's listed above, you're going to have a bowl of much-reduced candy.  He recommends purchasing some bags of sugar-free candy to beef up the bowl.  He also recommends adding small toys to the bowl.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Gum for Dessert&lt;/strong&gt;  The ADA recommends certain brands of sugar-free gum to stimulate saliva production to help keep your mouth healthy.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;As always, brush and floss&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ada.org/4856.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Dental Association&lt;/a&gt; suggests that children eat their candy with meals, avoid hard or chewy candy, drink more water and avoid sugary drinks, chew sugar-free gum, and brush and floss frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your goal at this point is just to control the damage.  You can certainly allow your kids to decide what they're going to do with the candy, but there are other options than simply letting them gorge themselves silly on it.  A lot of this is dependent on their ages.  I am not letting my 2-year-old eat herself silly on suckers.  The older your kids are, the more say they can have in what happens to the candy.  Some dentists are offering candy buy-back programs where they pay kids for their candy which may be more appealing to your kids than eating the candy.  Some of these dentists are working in conjunction with a program called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.operationgratitude.com/?gclid=CImmp5GArrMCFQvznAodXGYAUg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Operation Gratitude&lt;/a&gt; which collects the candy for troops and sends it to them in care packages.  I don't know if that last bit is of any use to you, particularly since I don't know where you are located, but even if you're not in the U.S., something similar may exist for you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are very young (my oldest is in preschool), and last year we kept all the candy he received trick or treating, but we put it in a bowl and kept it in a cabinet so it wasn't just sitting out, staring at us all the time.  This worked well from an &quot;out of sight, out of mind&quot; perspective, but it almost worked too well because we still had Halloween candy sitting around until Easter when I finally just threw the last of it away.  Eventually, my son just got tired of it and stopped asking for it.  This year, we're doing things differently:  we have guests coming over this weekend.  We'll keep the candy through the weekend and then whatever is left on Monday morning is going to the receptionist at my husband's work so she can refill the communal candy bowl at the front desk.  With Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner, my kids are not going to miss the Halloween candy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-11-05T05:46:45.343" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T05:46:45.343" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6397" CreationDate="2012-11-01T21:08:17.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is convienent when they are young for a child to be motivated by punishment and reward, but in the long run no child is honestly motivated in this way forever without it winding up hurtful in the end.  Even though you feel especially challenged by this now, be grateful as your child is motivated by something inside of himself instead.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6400/2876&quot;&gt;Christine Gordon's&lt;/a&gt; answer does a good job of outlining the pitfalls of punishments and rewards, so I won't bore you by repeating her clear and detailed answer here.  Instead, I will offer up one hypothesis about something that MIGHT be going on here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention that your son gives up if something doesn't come easily to him right away.  This MAY be indicitive of a perfectionistic personality.  Something that is very common amongst gifted and advanced children but exists throughout the population as well.  Because of all the work I have done with twice-exceptional kids (kids with both a gifted area and a learning, emotional, or behavioral disability, I have had a very large number of encounters with perfectionistic tendencies and it is a tough challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does your son have a specific talent in which things have always just come easily? Is he really hard on himself when he gets something wrong?  Is he particularly sensitive and becomes emotional easily?  Did he have an easy time in school up to a certain age and then the avoicance of doing his work began?  If you answered yes to a number of these questions you may havea perfectionist on your hands.  The challenge for these kids is that they are so afraid of messing up or doing something wrong or just not being immediately good at something that they'd rather fail by not trying than try really hard and still not find success.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this describes your son, you very likely have a tough road ahead, but the objective becomes about convincing him that his effort is more important than the outcome in many circumstances and that there is value in the learning takes place in the effort.  You may find my &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6645/2876&quot;&gt;answer&lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1013/2876&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; also helpful as it outlines a number of techniques you can use to create an effort focused environment and encourage your son.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Include non-evaluative statements (described by Christine) about his effort.  &quot;I noticed you got four questions wrong and instead of being upset you went back and redid them.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I noticed you went and asked your coach for extra advice about kicking the ball.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I noticed you spent the first 15 minutes while you worked on your homework taking some notes about what you were reading&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also suggest trying to give him more options and more say in what he does.  Let him choose which order he does his homework in and even where he does it (to some extent).  By giving up a little control, you are helping him to be a happier, more well-adjusted, independent young man capaable of learning from his own mistakes.  I'd suggest Parenting with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.loveandlogic.com/ecom/p-134-parenting-with-love-and-logic-book.aspx?gclid=CLSFyI3XrrMCFSFyQgodsCgA6A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;love and logic&lt;/a&gt; to learn more about how to relinquish control while still setting the parenting boundaries you need to set as his parent in addition to the texts already mentioned by Christine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, Let him fail a little.  For example, if he doesn't get his homework done, it will only hurt him.  He is eight so better to fail now than when he is in high school and the grades count.  Let his teacher have to discuss with him why he didn't get his work done.  Let him get a couple of F's for not having done his work and then have to do the make-up work.  While he is behind on his work, he also can't go do anything that costs money or have anything new.  Don't warn him about this, just let it happen, again, not because he is being punished, but because as a child his job right now is to do his schoolwork and a couple of simple chores. People that don't get their work done, don't get to keep their jobs and when you don't have a job you don't have money to go see a movie, go out to dinner with friends, or by gifts for others and go to their parties.  When he gets caught-up he can start doing these fun things again.  (That way hopefully, he doesn't fail his grade level entirely).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he can't keep his room clean - friends can't come over (no one wants to spend time in some one else's mess).  You get the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T17:29:15.863" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2388" CreationDate="2012-11-01T22:16:11.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Couldn't it also be an indicator of some kind of digestive issue? Have you consulted your pediatrician? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T22:16:11.150" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6414" CreationDate="2012-11-01T23:42:12.080" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;ADHD Kids honestly have a really hard time with prioritizing so try to be understanding.  Ask this eight year old what he thinks might help him remember things better.  He is old enough to help brainstorm.  By offering him the respect to ask his opinion, you show him that you believe he is capable of responsibility.  Right now, it seems he is living up to your expectations of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ADHD kids often develop self-esteem issues because they are constantly being &quot;corrected&quot; and told they are bad.  By making him a part of the solution, you build his confidence along with his ability to figure out, for himself, how to problem solve - again giving him the chance to practice some responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ADHD kids also often feel completely out of control in general so they control what they can (on a completely sub-conscious level) even if it means punishment and negative attention.  I wrote more about this part of the equation in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6337/2876&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; but the gist of it is.  Make sure he is being allowed some choice whenever possible.  Give two choices that both please you.  For example with homework, &quot;would you like to use a mechanical pencil or a regular pencil while you do your homewok?&quot;  Instead of, &quot;time to do homework.&quot;  He is still being told that homework must be done now, but he is being reminded of something he does in fact have some control over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly suggest checking out &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/#!/2012/05/teaching-wiggle-worms.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Teaching Wiggle Worms&lt;/a&gt; to understand a little more about how things really work for learning and movement.  I'd also suggest &quot;How to talk so they'll listen and listen so they'll talk&quot;  AND if you are concerned that some part of the diagnosis is missing, have another visit with the pediatric psychiatrist.  No one online will be able to diagnose your son correctly and since this board is for people from around the world, we can't even suggest a good dr. to go see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-01T23:42:12.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3546" CreationDate="2012-11-02T00:03:49.073" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some kids really do need the medication, but others can adapt and do well with some adjustments to their environment and the expectations set on them.  While these things aren't information about medicating, you could see if trying some of these options helps enough that you can put off medicating for another year or two or see if you don't need to medicate at all.  Then, even if you do medicate in the end, these tactics are still known to be pretty helpful in teacher circles that work especially with kids with learning and behavioral disorders (me having been one of them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it has been shown through various studies that ALL OF US retain more information when we are allowed to get up and move for about 5-10 minutes for every 60 minutes of work.  Think about it; do you work efficiently when you are working straight through on something for long periods of time with no breaks?  NOW, consider the fact that your child is, well, a child.  His attention span is naturally lower anyway!  For many kids frequent transitions can be tough, but for the ADHD kid, doing 20 minutes of something and then switching to something else can be a lot more productive than longer blocks of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, while writing skills are important, our schools tend to forget that writing answers down is not the only way (or always the best way) to assess kids for information retention and/or skills.  Classrooms (including montessori) are still classrooms and restrict movement (though less in a montessori environ than others).  Can he turn in video projects, art work, collages, presentations (whatever non-traditional idea works for the assignment given. . .) instead of essays at least some of the time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can he practice spelling, math facts, and other &quot;memorization&quot; types of things through song and dance, or while rallying a tennis ball or volleyball instead of while sitting in a classroom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can he wear headphones to help block out distracting noises?  Better yet, when he isn't listening to instructions and is doing practice work can he be allowed to listen to white noise or lyric free music?  I did not use this because it is newer, but I've heard (through the teacher pipeline) there is even a special CD available now that has frequencies on it that work especially well to engage the part of the ADHD mind that needs constant stimulation and often creates the distraction.  I'm really sorry I can't give you a name, perhaps another community member will know about it and add a comment to help get a hold of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also tons of great tools available out there now for ADHD kids that help too.  Things such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/#!/2012/05/make-your-own-fidgets.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;fidgets&lt;/a&gt; (link will take you to an article that will tell you what they are and even how to make some at home), and special seats that allow for more &quot;wiggles&quot;.  You might also try (and have his teachers try) making sure there is a space where he can do his writing while standing like a science lab counter as sometimes the simple act of being allowed to stand (while a stool of the right height is also nearby) can make all the difference in the world.  You might also check out Teaching Wiggle Worms for more specific ideas for the classroom.&lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/#!/2012/05/teaching-wiggle-worms.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt; Teaching Wiggle Worms&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="61" LastEditDate="2012-11-02T03:40:55.567" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T03:40:55.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6420" CreationDate="2012-11-02T00:42:48.640" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't answer your question specifically, but I would disregard any advice that tells you to choose a low-iron formula. I found a &lt;a href=&quot;http://parentingsolved.typepad.com/parenting_solved/2006/11/lowiron_formula.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;blog post that includes links to some studies&lt;/a&gt;. The idea is that iron supplementation is constipating, and it may be, but infants need iron to avoid anemia. Iron from supplements is not absorbed as well by the body as it is from whole foods, so excess unabsorbed iron is eliminated as waste. The baby needs that iron, however, so they need whatever their body can absorb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My pediatrician has recommended a teaspoon of prune juice to a bottle when we've dealt with possible constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3363" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T00:42:48.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3811" CreationDate="2012-11-02T00:50:46.470" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand the concern and it is important to teach the values of inclusion and politeness.  At the same time, perhaps the kids she doesn't want to play with aren't that nice or are doing something that makes her not want to play with them.  As an adult, you may have to get along politely with co-workers you don't like, you may even have to work with them occasionally, but you certainly never have to engage in play with them.  Is just wishing to play on her own or is it that she has a couple of friends she likes to play with and a few she doesn't?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone asked her why she doesn't want to play with the other kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone role-played with her ways she can be inclusive keeping her concerns in mind?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone spoken with her about the concept of inclusion and why it is so mean to just flat out say, &quot;I don't want to play with you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she allowed some space to have independent and individual play?  She may be part of the 25% of the population for whom &quot;alone time&quot; is how batteries are recharged and too much stimulous is sorted through and brought back down to a calmer level.  She may be wishing to just play calmly and alone because she needs a break.  School can be pretty exhausting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside of these things, if she is refusing to play just because she can and it hurts the feelings of the others, then working on figuring out why she would want to be mean would be a good way to go.  This type of emotional bullying is often indicative of self esteem issues, control issues, and a host of other possible problems.  Most of the time though, 4 year olds simply aren't that snobby.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think this is likely, because you say she does this to her sisters too, but She may need a little guidance it is around 4 or 5 they start noticing differences like skin color.  She may simply not understand something about something she has noticed that you or I wouldn't ever even consider.  If she doesn't want to play with some one because of soemthing physical, she may need some lessons in differences and how action is more important than looks.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has a legitimate reason for not wanting to play with these other kids (which is possible), she should be repsected and given some options and ploys she can use to help herself politely out of tough situations.  Perhaps she feels the others are really bossy (older sisters are known for being bossy).  Maybe they say mean things or make her feel bad in some way. . . Instead of assuming it is unacceptable behavior and she needs to be taught to get along, perhaps being taught how to get along requires a subtler lesson than you realize.  Please ask her for her reasons when you are not upset and you are ready to listen, paraphrase and summarize - if you haven't done so already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T00:50:46.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3811" CreationDate="2012-11-02T01:56:55.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would play with her with other kids during playdates, playgrounds etc. Relying on other people's assumptions, even teachers, about what is going on isn't always helpful. I've worked in schools and teachers can often be quick to label and categorize kids (the bad kid, the smart kid, the social butterfly, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you actually play with her you can get possibly get a better sense of what is going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, I still don't see what's wrong with not wanting to play with someone (everyone) but you could teach her more appropriate means of communicating her disinterest (ie &quot;no thank you&quot;). I think teaching little girls they can't say no is a problem in our mainstream culture, personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edited because i shouldn't imply that all teachers label kids&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-02T02:39:57.437" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T02:39:57.437" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6409" CreationDate="2012-11-02T01:56:55.937" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is not likely your 1-year-old child comprehends that your wife will be having a baby and all that entails.  However, it is possible that your behaviors have changed in some way that your child has picked up on.  Is your wife struggling with morning sickness?  What kinds of aspects of it are you discussing in front of your child assuming she won't understand what you are saying?  It is likely she has picked up on changes that she doesn't understand and it is completely possible it is stressing her out.  Then again, she could be teething - those molars are somethin' else!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to be sure.  I'd suggest talking to her about the pregnancy.  Use some picture books like, &quot;Arthur's New Baby&quot; to help her preview what having a baby in the house will be like and what her role as big sister will be.  Since she is so young, she won't understand it all and will need a lot of time to process the information so read your books and talk about it with her often and don't get frustrated when she asks the same question 100 times it is just part of her process.  Get her a new doll with diapers and a stroller and a bottle etc.  And role play how baby will be cared for down to diaper changing and burping.  The earlier you start, the less the shock when the baby really comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deal with her behaviors with understanding.  She isn't even two yet so none of it is pre-meditated.  Her behavior may or may not have anything to do with your wife's pregnancy so just do the normal, making sure she is getting enough rest, food, activity and loving attention etc.  And this too shall pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T01:56:55.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4844" CreationDate="2012-11-02T02:11:11.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could also a try an approach to time outs where you invite the child to consider cooling down (if they are angry, frustrated, hyper, etc). They come out when they decide they are ready and together you can brainstorm solutions to the problem. (ie was somebody hurt and could use an apology, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This teaches the child to notice when they are upset (a skill many older children have not learned!) and to take space to cool down (they can play music, read, whatever helps them), and then to actually come back to the problem and make a repair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is important because the purpose of discipline is to teach, not hurt, a child. Putting a child in timeout doesn't really send home any lessons other than when you are bigger you can boss smaller people around. And, talking during this process just makes you sound like the teacher in classic chlidren's cartoons (wah wah wah). This also means that if the child is not emotional beyond the point of functioning, then a time out isn't actually helpful - the purpose is for them to calm themselves. When they are not overly emotional then go straight to &quot;Whoops, in this family we are helpful not hurtful, how can you repair this mistake?&quot;. Let them brainstorm and then pick something they can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would rather help my child become better at self-reflection and self-regulation, understanding that mistakes are okay, and making repairs is necessary and genuine (ie not forced). Hopefully you can see how these skills will directly apply to the playground later (and eventually the workplace and beyond!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Connected, genuine, respectful relationships with children is my best medicine for building children that are connected, genuine and respectful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T02:11:11.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1925" CreationDate="2012-11-02T02:37:29.543" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried connecting with your child and developing a positive relationship?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All I can hear from your post is that you've tried hurting him - from taking away privileges to the physical. If all you are teaching him is that when you are bigger you can hurt somebody smaller, is it any wonder he hasn't yet developed empathy for things smaller than him? (For the record, I don't think holding animals too tightly sounds particularly a-typical, I just don't think you've done anything to teach him otherwise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of teaching him how to hurt people smaller than you, teach him social-emotional skills by role-modeling them. When he experiences respect, trust, listening, empathy, compassion etc he will be able to develop them himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of punishing him, ask him questions (with genuine curiosity and respect!):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;what was happening for you [in this situation]?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;do you feel like people hear you better when you yell?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;what happened that made you leave the park today without telling us?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try using nonevaluative &quot;I notice&quot; statements to help him learn to reflect on his own behavior without relying on others judging him (who's going to punish/praise him when he's 25??) and it will help him feel seen and heard!!!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you tried using an inside voice first at your friend's house today&quot;&#xA; &quot;I notice you seem pretty upset today&quot;&#xA; &quot;I notice you didn't eat much today&quot;&#xA; &quot;I notice you are working very hard to build that lego structure&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend Positive Discipline for being able to foster a home environment that is kind &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; firm. It will teach you how to teach him social-emotional skills necessary for participation in a mutually respectful, peaceful family environment and will equip you all as he enters school and beyond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Positive Discipline is grounded in Aldlerian psychology and believes that all children (and adults) seek a sense of belonging and significance. Are you providing opportunity for him to feel like he belongs in your family? And, are you providing opportunity for him to feel important? (special jobs, asking for his help, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what this looks like in a family, check out the following blog (her son is around your son's age too and is also particularly spirited): &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.canwehugitout.blogspot.com&quot;&gt;Can We Hug It Out&lt;/a&gt;. Its fun and quick to read!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have worked with kids in gangs, refugees, kids with special needs, kids everyone else 'threw away' and the number one way to make a difference is stop seeking control and start seeking connection. A strong-willed, spirited child is a gift.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T02:37:29.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="156" CreationDate="2012-11-02T02:59:10.033" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's 3, he's learning to talk. Yes, it is annoying, but I would rather work on tone, than words at this point. He's not going to be able to make a compelling argument all the time, but his objections can have merit. I mean, what else does a 3 year old have control over?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he says no to something, just repeat back what he should have said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you don't want to sit in a car seat, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; you need a car seat to be safe&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you would prefer mommy to read tonight, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; it is daddy's turn and/or mommy is busy&quot; (is there a specific schedule/routine to this?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least let him know you heard him, and give him a real reason on why something is happening.  If you can't think of a reason other than &quot;because I said so&quot; maybe it is a good time to evaluate if he really needs to be doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For all the reasons you've stated, I would never discourage my child, particularly a small one, from expressing the general concept of &quot;NO!&quot;. I would just help them transition to a more verbally and socially competent approach by connecting with them and through role-modeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-02T11:41:59.447" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T11:41:59.447" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6450" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6452" CreationDate="2012-11-02T04:34:17.057" Score="30" ViewCount="10409" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Few months back I turned agnostic.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't have children yet.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Other family members are believers, I am not.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother tells me to pray to God and ask him to increase my salary/happiness/safety etc. I can deal with my mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My in-laws ask me to pray to the God before embarking on a journey. I do as they wish (to make them happy (not a big deal for me)).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, when my relatives tell my future child to pray to God for the above mentioned reasons, how should I explain to him(child) that this God didn't protect the gas chamber victims so there is no reason that you should expect him to help you to get good grades in exams, etc?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the child will ask - &lt;em&gt;then why is the grand mother praying to God?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't have an answer to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother and his wife have taught their child (2 years old) that if you do bad things God will punish you.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I want my child to not to do bad things &lt;strong&gt;because&lt;/strong&gt; the bad things are bad, not because God is going to punish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want that when he grows up (about 15 years of age) then he should decide for himself whether he wants to follow religion or not &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;till then&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; he should have a free mind. He should be dependent on himself for his acts, not on God. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't even know what to do with the &quot;fairy tales&quot; thing. Every comic book for children has these fairies, and witches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if it is wise to first explain to a child that the fairy did that, and then if he asks is it all true?? What to reply - yes, it is, but god is different than fairy? OR no, this story is to make you go to sleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-12T04:45:47.563" LastActivityDate="2017-03-17T16:46:00.833" Title="How to raise a child between agnostic parent and believer relatives?" Tags="|age-appropriate|religion|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6450" CreationDate="2012-11-02T10:34:01.580" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking as an atheist whose child has religious grandparents, my method has been to put religion on a par with any other choice in life and not elevate it to have any special place as more or less important than a great many other choices in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone believes in God and wants you to do the same, then it's up to you to decide if you want to.  It's no different to me than having a friend/neighbour/relative who supports sports team A, and wants your child to do the same.  The child should be presented with the knowledge that such things are personal choices, without judging that choice.  I explained to my child that her grandparents believe in God and go to church, I also explained that I do not, and I backed it up by saying it's just what we have chosen to do, no-one is right or wrong in their beliefs, so when they send her religious materials at Christmas and all that I don't deride them, I simply use it as a real life example about how everyone is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until such time as they can make such a decision independently, it's simply unfair to attempt to force them to believe anything that they don't naturally have a tendency to do so.  You wouldn't force a child to change his favourite colour because your parents prefer Green, in fact you simply wouldn't try to enforce any preferred colour, you just explain that there are all these different ones, and you can prefer what you like, and furthermore you can &lt;em&gt;change your mind&lt;/em&gt; at any time, no one choice is correct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally would steer away from any talk of gas chambers, by the time they are in any way prepared to be faced with such a concept, much less understand it, they will likely be old enough to have started to make their own choices anyway.  And, as you say, you only recently changed your own mind, so don't expect a kid to live through life with what he first is presented with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A more important lesson when it comes to the grades thing and all that is that the only people who can help in such matters are the child themselves, and the teachers/friends/relative they are surrounded with.  There is simply no replacement for trying your best, and no amount of praying/hoping/wishing/begging (whatever you prefer to call it) is going to make up for not doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for Fairy Tales etc, kids don''t (in my experience) tend to believe what they see quite so rigidly as we might think as adults.  There is no need to explain that cats don't talk should they see a cartoon with a talking cat.  Tooth fairys, elves, pokemon etc etc, this list goes on.  Ignore the medium, concentrate on the message - if a cartoon is about being friends, that's what you talk about, not the fact that the people being freinds are 1 eyed fluffy aliens who don't really exist.  It's the same with the Christmas stories I get given for my child, the message is more important than the scenery, so you can take values of kindness, charity and so on from a story, without them having to believe in (for example) Noah's Ark, or 3 wise men etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2199" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T10:34:01.580" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6274" CreationDate="2012-11-02T15:49:42.837" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Shadow Wizard gives good advice. I will add tho that, more generically, you have every opportunity to control their world. You can make it small with baby gates, and filter the stuff that's in that area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you gate off the living room (which is usually the simplest) just make sure you don't leave normally adult things laying around... like drinks. oh yes, they'll get it. Remote, magazines, dvd cases, cigarette packs, shoes, pets, they're going to stick it all in their mouths. as long as you filtered it well, you can be reasonably certain they're not going to do any damage while not having to be horribly restrictive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh btw... go get a cheap, colorful, universal remote from target. leave the batteries out and give it to them. It won't take long for them to know which is theirs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T15:49:42.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6424" CreationDate="2012-11-02T16:35:05.453" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you're missing the point: Halloween is about fun. &lt;em&gt;Rules for candy?&lt;/em&gt; Not fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a couple assumptions I'm making&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you don't have tons of candy all the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you generally balance your kids diet (neverminding school lunch).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they brush every night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said...&#xA;When you go to the park, aside from the general boundary &quot;stay on the dirt part, don't go over by the trees&quot;, Do you buckle down on specifics about the stuff they play on? &quot;Have 2 turns on the slide then we'll come back for 2 more turns after dinner&quot;. Of course that's absurd but I'm making a point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Oh but that's different&quot; No, it's not. Question: which do you believe is more potentially damaging to a 4yo's teeth; a hand full of jolly ranchers, or :20 on the steel jungle-gym dome thing when they insist on climbing to the top?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I generally agree with hard candy (jolly ranchers specifically) for young kids (4 or less), but my real advice is lighten up. I think that more important than the potential dental or physical damage is that they follow whatever rules you have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure there is &lt;strong&gt;potential&lt;/strong&gt; for long term dental consequences, but I don't think that 2 evenings of filling up on candy is going to do anything more than make your kid's belly ache for a couple hrs. I would further argue that 2 evenings of oh say 8oz of smarties, m&amp;amp;ms and tootsie rolls would be &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;less damaging&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; than 1oz per night for 16 nights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's all about perspective and moderation. We all want to do right by our kids, but sometimes we get caught up in it and the real world just kind of shrinks away. Filling up on halloween candy 2 nights in a row won't kill you. Do it for 2 months and it might. I say let them 6 or older have fun. Let them gorge themselves, mainly because it's not bottomless and it'll be over in a couple days. If they get sick, they'll certainly remember having to take the tums/pepto.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bonus Question: how many pieces did you tell your kids they could have? How many pieces did &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; have? Hypocrite. (= Me too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-11-02T16:35:05.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6450" CreationDate="2012-11-03T20:50:10.260" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in a christian household with a five year old sister, and I am similarly concerend. Luckily my parents faith differ, so I can talk with her about a lot of things, even things like evolution. She's very smart, but if either my parents succeed in setting their particular religious beliefs into her heart, it may be difficult for her to one day reason on the matter in an entirely objective way. Something I do is to tell her always ask questions. Two words that I taught her to always say are 'why' and 'how', and she really enjoys saying them. Maybe you should encourage your future child to be as inquisitive as she can (which sets a challenge for you as her parent). This way you might, in a way, proof her against unreasonable ideas, and may even find one day that you have a lot to learn from her too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3403" LastActivityDate="2012-11-03T20:50:10.260" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1925" CreationDate="2012-11-04T00:20:45.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me start by saying that some of the things you mention are not normal for a five year old (in particular, the animal abuse, banging of fists, and kicking of walls).  Some of these things are indicative of more serious things going on, whether it is something he is doing as a result of being abused by someone, bullied by someone (which is really abuse perpetrated by a peer) or some other challenge within him such as oppositional disorder or one that prevents his development of social awareness (such as Aspberger's - in which case, he may honestly not understand about your feelings, the animal's feelings or how his actions effect others.  You may take some of the previous advice and get some professional help from a family therapist or psychologist.  Have him evaluated to figure out what is going on.  Then, depending on the prognosis try the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I particularly recommend the &lt;a href=&quot;http://schooleffectivelyathome.blogspot.com/2011/11/seah-workshops.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;Motivation and Control&quot; workship here&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The workshop will basically go over the following idea and how to apply the idea with your child in your home.  I would tweak this a little depending on the route of the problem, but this is the gist and with the help of a professional, you can do the &quot;tweaking&quot; neede for your particular circumstance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite a few kids are motivated by control rather than rewards or punishments.  For these kids, they especially need to feel in control of their own life in some fashion (thought all kids are going to be better off with this feeling than without anyway)  For the kids that are motivated by control, if they don't feel in control, they'll control whatever they can eventually.  This may mean their caloric intake (anorexia/bulemia), their pain threshold and tolerance (cutting), you (by making you frustrated, worn down and upset), others through bully behaviors, and things smaller than themselves (animal abuse).  All of these things can also have other causes and are fairly complex, but this is one piece of the puzzle in all situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For kids motivated by control, the traditionally upheld systems of reward or punishment absolutely WILL NOT WORK (physical or otherwise).  It sounds like your child MIGHT fit into this category.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news for you is that discipline is, contrary to popular belief, not really about control at all.  Instead, it is about building mutual trust and respect.  A parent should be a lot like a mentor to a child.  Some one who can offer up advice and suggestions in a respectful rather than dictatorial way.  In order to do this, you have to truly understand the child and his thought process FIRST.  As &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6448/2876&quot;&gt;Christine Gordon&lt;/a&gt; says, find out about your son's thought processes.  Find out what he notices, thinks about and puts first.  Find out what he is capable of adding to the family experience and find joy in working on things together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like if you relinquish a little control and offer him some choice, he may feel better about himself and his life situation rather than feeling as though he is being controlled.  Obviously, you have to have certain boundaries (you are his parent, teacher and guide after all), but perhaps a little loosening of the reins will go a long way toward fixing this young boy's attitude toward you a little.  Is he crumbling the bread all over because he is being told he MUST eat it?  Why not, &quot;Would you like a slice of bread or a little rice?&quot;  Then, he gets to choose, and help you make the food of choice.  You know he is still getting a little grain with his meal, he is learning a little about how to cook and you are having some quality time together.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discipline is really about making good choices that make good consequences more likely as opposed to choices that will result in bad consequences (I am speaking of natural consequences here not parent imposed consequences).  Let your son learn the difference without &quot;bad consequences&quot; be punishments from you.  Instead, put yourself in the role of empathetic guide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me give you an example of what this looks like.  My daughter was given a 3DS by her grandparents for her sixth birthday.  When she wasn't keeping her games, charger and player together one day, I warned her this type of care (or lack thereof) often led to loss of the thing not being cared for, but she made the poor choice of bringing it and not keeping it all together.  I saw the situation, but instead of saving her and picking it all up for her I just let things play out.  She mis-placed the player and it got stuck in a prop drawer where it stayed until 2 weeks later when she finally found it (with some help from the theater manager who she then had to write a thank you letter to).  In the mean - time she didn't have her player.  I empathized with her and genuinely expressed that I understood how sad she must feel.  However, when she asked if I'd buy her another one.  I pointed out how expensive they are, number one, and that she had shown she wouldn't take care of it, so I wasn't about to buy her a replacement.  Special toys and treats like that are for people that take care of them.  When she wanted to borrow stuff from me (like my ipod) I simply said, &quot;I'm so sorry, but I don't think you are trustworthy to keep track of your stuff.  Why would I loan you my ipod?  I want it to be well cared for.  I'll loan things like that to you when you show me you'll take care of it.&quot;  It may sound harsh but these are the realities of life once you don't have a parent following around and cleaning up after you.  She has kept track of her stuff quite well ever since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People who crumble bread all over the place wind up having to clean up the stuff.  When some one is being super loud, other people don't want to hang out in the same space.  When a kid runs away in public spaces, that kid isn't trusted to go to those public spaces anymore (and he has to figure out how to win back your trust too).  It isn't a punishment, simply a consequence - you don't trust him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book: Parenting with Love and Logic stems from the same basic idea and works nicely in conjunction with what the Mecham family outlines in their workshops.  I'd recommend reading this book as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T00:37:13.207" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4761" CreationDate="2012-11-04T00:59:17.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all your daughter is still quite young and has yet to really form who she is and will be.  All kids go through periods where they are &quot;more shy&quot; or &quot;more friendly.&quot;  While you know her well, and probably see some things that make your assessment fairly accurate, she may not be as shy as you think.  Additionally, there are a lot of good things about being shy.  Shy people TEND (of course there are exceptions) to be more observant, better listeners and loyal friends.  If she is an introvert, she is an introvert.  She was born this way (as were you) so you'll want to celebrate and honor who you both are.  There was a great article in &lt;a href=&quot;http://ideas.time.com/2012/01/26/dont-call-introverted-children-shy/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Time magazine&lt;/a&gt; about this not all that long ago.  Life optimizer offers up these &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2011/04/08/strengths-shy-people-have/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;7 strengths of shy people&lt;/a&gt;  and here is an article about &lt;a href=&quot;http://education.yahoo.net/articles/careers_for_shy_people_2.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;five GREAT CAREERS FOR SHY PEOPLE&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both gregariousness and shyness have their drawbacks.  Life is often about learning balance and continuously readjusting in order to maintain that balance.  I see nothing wrong in being open with your daughter about things if you discuss these kinds of things openly and lovingly with her.  Just make sure you aren't disparaging about shyness on the whole along the way.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.justmommies.com/articles/shy-child.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;blog gives a few &quot;rules&quot; to follow&lt;/a&gt; in your discussions that jibe well with my background knowledge about child psychology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In essence, the blarticle says to make sure you speak with her about it as a feeling not a self label though.  For example, when she is &quot;feeling shy&quot; discuss ways to get past the feeling rather than it being all about her as shy (that way she isn't having to overcome herself if you know what I mean - funny how big a difference a tiny bit of language can make).  Of course it also talks about encouraging your shy daughter without pushing too hard and celebrating accomplishments as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-04T01:13:18.917" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T01:13:18.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6303" CreationDate="2012-11-04T01:17:11.660" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I don't have personal experience with this one, I do have an in law that tried putting them together right away but seriously regretted it because child 1 was a light sleeper and woke every time child 2 cried.  She split them up until child 2 was sleeping through the night and THEN moved them together - it seems to have worked well for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did have a little sister personally, but we almost always had separate rooms (although she often crept in and snuggled with me between say 3 years (her age) and 6 or 7 years when I started saying no to her (it started to get rather crowded when she was seven and I was ten).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I know, it is between these ages (2 or 3 to 10 or 11 approximately) that kids like the comfort of knowing some one else is close by.  As kids move into adolescence though, separate spaces can help a lot when it comes time for homework space (and quiet), separate belongings and developing senses of style and expression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-04T01:23:54.137" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T01:23:54.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4568" CreationDate="2012-11-04T02:31:51.407" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a developmental step involved in understanding the feeling of needing to go and the going.  It takes a while for kids to connect the two things AND for them to respond quickly enough.  She can't help it and keeping her on the toilet after she has already gone is probably frustrating for all of you and absolutely WILL NOT HELP.  Instead, you might try creating a &quot;potty schedule&quot;.  Go &quot;check&quot; if it is time to go potty every 60-90 minutes.  Don't forcer her, invite her.  Then while she sits, read a story, sing some songs, play some hand clapping games whatever to make it fun.  Do this until she is ready to get up or goes pee.  Then go throuh it all again in another 60-90 minutes.  This sets her up for success, helps to avoid accidents and keeps it fun and productive for everyone.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other advantage to being this &quot;scheduled&quot; about it, is that you will really get to know her biological schedule and predict approximately when she is likely to go.  This will help you get her to the potty preemtively to &quot;accidents&quot; which will be less frustrating for you and encouraging for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4572/2876&quot;&gt;Meg Coats&lt;/a&gt; also has some great ideas that can be very helpful in speeding up the connection between the before feeling and the act of going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, you'll just have to wait for her little nervous system to connect everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T02:31:51.407" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6460" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-04T03:24:51.520" Score="10" ViewCount="48796" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a daughter who takes naps and (usually) wakes up extremely cranky and irritable. She is 1 month away from being 3. Because she is so irritable, she'll usually cry when she wakes up. Depending on the day, it can range all the way to 30 straight minutes of crying. But, it's not always like this. Sometimes she'll wake up from a nap and not cry a bit or even be cranky. Usually we can get her to calm down after 10-15 minutes of crying by doing some playful activity. Or sometimes she'll want something such as to watch a certain TV show, to do a certain activity, a certain food, etc. If we don't(or can't) give her what she wants, that's when the 30 minute crying sessions happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're not really for sure what to do. Instincts tell me that she appears to be crying to manipulate us into getting what she wants, but if this is the case she is extremely stubborn and content with crying until her voice is hoarse. What we've tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Time out until she is done crying (works about 25% of the time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Attempt to distract her with something fun or interesting(works about 25% of the time. Most of the time she is just not interested)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Holding her and soothing her until she is done crying (if she wants something, this hardly ever works unless we give it to her though... and it can again take 15-30 minutes for her to calm down when my wife is doing this) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the things she requests are things like &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Candy/junk food&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A particular food(other than junk food, such as eggs)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To watch a certain TV show&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For us to play with her in her room(when we're trying to get her to eat dinner)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these things are particularly problematic because she usually falls asleep when we are preparing dinner. We usually try to keep her awake, but it's nearly impossible when she wants to take a nap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should be done in these instances? Has anyone else experienced their children doing the same thing? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Other than these fits, she's usually pretty well behaved(I'd dare to say better than most toddlers at least) and temper tantrums and the like are handled well with a time out(she even knows when she starts crying to go sit at her time out spot and will usually go there before we even tell her to)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2391" LastEditorUserId="2391" LastEditDate="2012-11-04T03:38:45.727" LastActivityDate="2014-06-24T19:28:14.850" Title="What should be done when your child wakes up from a nap and is extremely irritable?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|behavior|discipline|eating|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6460" CreationDate="2012-11-04T04:36:06.313" Score="7" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Instincts tell me that she appears to be crying to manipulate us into&#xA;  getting what she wants, but if this is the case she is extremely&#xA;  stubborn&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are brilliant, even very young kids.  They are learning so much every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a root of &lt;strong&gt;self&lt;/strong&gt;-ish-ness in everyone, even little kids.  It causes us to care more about what we &quot;want&quot; than what is the right/proper/fair thing to do.  A responsible and loving adult has learned to master this &lt;strong&gt;self&lt;/strong&gt;-ish-ness, and make good choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The primary job of a Parent, in my estimation, is to teach their children to do this as they grow up.  I've always said that if a child is old enough to do something, they are old enough to learn how to do it in a proper way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;For example, if old enough to eat at the table, then also old enough to learn how to not purposefully throw food on the floor.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 5th, a girl, a redhead, and very strong willed, decided (firmly) that she did not under any circumstances want to go to bed alone (about 1 year old).  Her mother and I decided that it was our job to be parents, and create a framework for her to learn that this was required, like it or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took about 4 days in a row of long, hard, crying.  But she soon realized that it was worthless to try to &lt;strong&gt;make us&lt;/strong&gt; come get her, and just decided to go to sleep.  Now she averages little to no crying and in a couple of minutes she is out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your situation, I suggest the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you are doing what you can to not make the situation harder.  For example, make sure she naps at a good time (before too tired, etc...)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Create a framework that she &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; live within.  For example, out-of-control crying is unacceptable, and the result will be being placed in bed.  Period.  Calm == out of bed.  Crying == in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Allow her to make the choice, within the framework.  You are restricting her options, but she needs to make the right choice.  As per your framework, if she chooses to cry, she has an immediate, swift, and deterministic consequence of being placed in bed.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have compassion.  If you place her in bed, and she is still crying after 15 min, try picking her up to see if that act of love is enough.  If not, back to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pay very close attention to the tone of her cry.  Is it demanding, or is it sad?  Is it scared, or mad?  You can handle her more gently if it is sad or scared than if mad or demanding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stick with it&lt;/strong&gt;.  Some kids may be stubborn, but these are some of the best traits when they are well managed -- for example, she will become an attorney at the best law school in the country (if she chooses to).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's all about choices.  You are the parents and should create a simple, but purposeful framework for her to make good/bad choices, and an immediate feedback loop for both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But do not get too excited when good choices are made -- compliment, and occasionally reward, but good choices are to be &lt;strong&gt;the norm&lt;/strong&gt;, not the exception (as it is with adults).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all, listen to the Love that God gave you for your child.  You know your child better than any doctor, columnist, parental expert, or me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best wishes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3291" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T04:36:06.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6460" CreationDate="2012-11-04T10:38:49.147" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on how they wake, many (possibly most) kids will go through this at some point. One of mine is currently a very bad waker, unlike her siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At a young age, the simple solution we used was just to give them a cuddle for a while and let them awake in a happy environment - after all, they spent 9 months having a mother's heartbeat all the time, that's got to be tough to do without. This sometimes meant carrying them round while doing the chores until they decided they were fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At an older age (3 or 4 and up) we gave them routines, so they wouldn't need to try and comprehend something new while only half awake. For example, at that age, on waking they could get a cup of water or juice and spend 5 or 10 minutes sat with some toys, or again - getting a cuddle from Mummy or Daddy. Routines make the world less stressful to a young child. I'm not a fan of rigid rules, but a bit of familiarity, especially when tired, helps them a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T10:38:49.147" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6460" CreationDate="2012-11-04T13:08:38.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three recommendations for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try to get her back to napping.&lt;/strong&gt; From your post it doesn't seem likely this will work, but it's always worth a try (be patient!) and it might become easier to achieve over time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't ever give in to her bullying.&lt;/strong&gt; She does this because she knows from experience that it works! She is showing you that she has more endurance than you have, and she is using it to consistently win over you. You must look at yourselves to change this: it's incredibly hard but you must teach your child that &lt;strong&gt;she's the child and you're the parents so you get to decide.&lt;/strong&gt; She can &lt;em&gt;earn&lt;/em&gt; the things she asks for as a privilege following good behavior, but she can never &lt;em&gt;demand&lt;/em&gt; it - never ever!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Every time you give in, you give her power over you.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Every time you stand firm, you help her understand her role in the family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she doesn't want to sleep, &lt;strong&gt;allow her to play quietly by herself in her room.&lt;/strong&gt; This gives her an exit strategy if she doesn't want to sleep, while obeying you; it's a win-win. You may choose to join her if you like, but emphasize that that is your decision, not hers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can recognize my son in some of this. He just turned three and needs a decent noon nap to be happy. Sometimes (like today!) he wakes much too soon and is grumpy, just like your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What works best for us is to get him back to napping. We try to react quickly so that he doesn't wake fully (if he does, the chance is gone). We also try to be very gentle and soft-spoken so that he's not urged into any kind of response - which would also further wake him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we succeed in this, he's much happier for the rest of the day, and the bedtime is also much easier because &quot;overtired&quot; children don't want to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we don't succeed, we know that the afternoon and evening will be a little tougher. One thing we are very clear about: &lt;strong&gt;No whining, no begging.&lt;/strong&gt; He may choose to end his nap, but we won't accept any kind of blackmail (crying) because he wants movie/candy/whatever. He is allowed to play with his toys just like always, and he may ask us to play along just like always. But he is not allowed to set our agenda, or to demand unusual things (in our case, movies or candy are in the &quot;unusual&quot; category and is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; on offer when he's grumpy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-11-04T13:13:49.623" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T13:13:49.623" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6460" CreationDate="2012-11-04T20:49:01.340" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like the other answers here but I'll note that my daughter is typically irritable after a nap and we've found that a balanced snack (some approximately-equal combination of protein and good carbohydrates, like a bit of meat and a piece of fruit, or even a big glass of milk) really helps.  It seems she's somewhat sensitive to &quot;blood sugar&quot; levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-11-04T20:49:01.340" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6393" CreationDate="2012-11-04T21:30:00.410" Score="4" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Scientific Foundation&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any attempt on explaining some things as fiction depends on the children's ability to actually grasp that concept, so let's focus on that first: The general consensus seems to be that children &lt;em&gt;can differentiate&lt;/em&gt; between fiction and reality (see e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://phys.org/news84473786.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a study from the University of Texas&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.innovations-report.de/html/berichte/studien/gehirn_trennt_phantasie_realitaet_intuitiv_131060.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;research from the Max-Planck-Institute Leipzig (German)&lt;/a&gt;; a &lt;a href=&quot;http://astro.temple.edu/~tue50577/Assets/skolnick&amp;amp;bloom-SRCD.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;study from Yale&lt;/a&gt; even suggests they can even separate multiple fictional worlds). The &lt;em&gt;age of which this is possible&lt;/em&gt; ranges from 3 to 7 years, so you have a good chance that your children &quot;can get the difference&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Consequences&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cited studies also show two things, which I would agree with based my personal experience and which we can use to help them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children use the &lt;em&gt;context&lt;/em&gt; of stories to infer whether they are real or not.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children tend to accept fictional stories as true if there are &lt;em&gt;links to their own lives&lt;/em&gt; (e.g. tooth fairies).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid tie-ins into real-life&lt;/strong&gt; (e.g. merchandise toys).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consistently explain cinema and TV as fiction&lt;/strong&gt;, so your children learn that everything in that box is not real. Admittedly, this is kind of hard if they also see documentaries or home-videos.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid too realistic-looking content.&lt;/strong&gt; Specifically for the smaller children, that is why animated movies are so appealing for me as a parent - they &lt;em&gt;look&lt;/em&gt; unrealistic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Showing the magic behind the tricks&lt;/em&gt; by way of making-ofs or even producing your own &lt;em&gt;special effects video&lt;/em&gt; is certainly worth a try for your older one, but I don't think will help with your younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2785" LastEditorUserId="2785" LastEditDate="2012-11-09T11:54:54.170" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T11:54:54.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6467" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-05T01:12:24.087" Score="5" ViewCount="3517" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/while-working/storing-transporting-breast-milk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;great guide for using pumped breastmilk&lt;/a&gt;...in it, there are tons of guidelines for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How long it can be kept after it has been heated up?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If a baby didn't finish a bottle, how long before you have to toss the remaining milk?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there such a guide for cow's milk? I couldn't find a comprehensive site like the above for it. I found a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1295/1922&quot;&gt;related question&lt;/a&gt; here, but it only address one case...heating up the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE: My daughter is older than 12 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-07T09:15:56.503" Title="What are the proper precaution for using cow's milk to feed babies?" Tags="|toddler|food|feeding|nutrition|milk|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2012-11-05T02:11:53.200" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In case you are using cloth diapers, you should try to change as soon as possible because these generally don't have the same kind of absorption or the moisture wicking later as disposable diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are fancy cloth diapering options out there that has a fleece-like layer that touches the skin and an absorbent insert underneath to actually hold the liquid. However, I've noticed that with cloth diapers (any kind) if I don't change my infant frequently, she has a high chance of getting diaper rash. Since I can't constantly be checking her diaper, I change her at least every two hours (or at least check).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2012-11-07T10:53:47.160" LastActivityDate="2012-11-07T10:53:47.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6469" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6472" CreationDate="2012-11-05T02:15:36.647" Score="5" ViewCount="976" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a small trash bucket next to our changing table and this is where we put used diapers. We usually will flush solids down the toilet before we throw the diaper in the trash can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that for some reason, the urine/smell/etc. escapes the diaper, to the bag, and through the bag to the garbage can. I can't visibly see any moisture or feel it on the outside of the diaper or the plastic bag lining the garbage can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How is the scent being transferred to the can?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-05-14T17:21:05.050" LastActivityDate="2021-07-01T19:14:43.200" Title="Disposable diapers: smell gets out to plastic bags and the garbage can...why?" Tags="|diaper|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="589" CreationDate="2012-11-05T05:03:15.133" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10 year old son that has done this regularly all his life. He also has had asthma from 11 months old. I really think they are related and think the pediatrician who says he is unconsciously over pressurizing his lungs seem to make sense. I certainly notice it more when his asthma is about to or is glaring up  he does it at night before sleeping and is completely unaware of it and I have never brought it to his attention&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3408" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T05:03:15.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6467" CreationDate="2012-11-05T09:06:06.910" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If your child is younger than 12 months, I would refrain from giving cow's milk altogether&lt;/strong&gt;, see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/515068-what-happens-if-a-newborn-drinks-cow-milk/&quot;&gt;What Happens If a Newborn Drinks Cow Milk?&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_cows-milk-when-and-how-to-introduce-it_1334703.bc&quot;&gt;Cow's milk: When and how to introduce it&lt;/a&gt;. Problems which can occur are &lt;em&gt;nutritional deficiencies&lt;/em&gt; (most commonly &lt;em&gt;iron deficiency&lt;/em&gt;), &lt;em&gt;gastrointestinal irritation&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;allergic reactions&lt;/em&gt;. In general, babies' digestive tracts and kidneys are not yet ready&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Living in Germany, &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UHT_milk&quot;&gt;UHT-milk&lt;/a&gt; is quite common, which can be stored up to nine months, if not opened. Then it should be consumed within a couple of days - one week works fine for us at home including our three-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For a day out&lt;/strong&gt;, I recommend using a &lt;em&gt;vacuum flask&lt;/em&gt; together with &lt;em&gt;drinking cups&lt;/em&gt;; as of 1 year our son as well as all children in our nursery school were well able to use that instead of a bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We generally dispose all &quot;unfinished&quot; drinks at the end of the day&lt;/strong&gt;, I would do likewise with an unfinished bottle (i.e. keep it one day maximum).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2785" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T09:06:06.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6469" CreationDate="2012-11-05T09:16:21.390" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Urine smell comes from &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urea&quot;&gt;urea&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; that is converted to &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ammonia&quot;&gt;ammonia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by bacteria. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ammonia is a gas that can easily permeate through many textiles, and some plastics, too.  So the smell being noticeable from the outside is not necessarily a sign of actual (liquid) leakage. Ammonia can attach itself to all sorts of surfaces by a process called &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adsorption&quot;&gt;adsorption&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, which explains why it is sometimes very difficult to get rid of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T09:16:21.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6473" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6475" CreationDate="2012-11-05T13:31:43.417" Score="6" ViewCount="511" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The tl;dr version:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The father can get a toddler to sleep easily, but the mother struggles. Has anyone else experienced this and if so, what strategies were used to overcome it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Scenario:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have an 18 month old son who nurses twice per day. He's been going to a daycare from the time he's been 15 months old. I drop him off in the morning at around 07:45 and my wife picks him up after he eats lunch at around 13:00. He seems really happy there (based on our observations, the reports from the workers, and the excitement he gets when he arrives there), but since he started there, he hasn't consistently napped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he was about 8 months, I have been solely responsible for putting him to bed at night. He and I developed a nice routine and he would go to bed and fall asleep without fuss 99% of the time. At that time, my wife would get him to nap by nursing him. In preparation for the daycare transition, my wife slowly reduced the nursing sessions to twice per day: once in the morning before breakfast and once in the evening before supper. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he won't nap except for on the weekends when I'm there. Recently I took a two week vacation from work in the hope that I would be able to help get him some much-needed naptime and then transition him over to his mother for naps once a routine was established. During those two weeks he slept great during the day, but now that I'm back at work, he won't nap. He just screams and screams and screams as soon as his mother puts him into his crib no matter what she does. He'll scream for 1.5 hours and then my wife will go and get him. In the early days of this, she would then get him to nap either by lying down with him and then by taking him for a drive in the car. He would usually fall asleep right away, but she can't then transition him back to his crib. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What we've tried:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife has tried to adopt and adapt our routine to no avail. She's tried to develop a routine completely different from mine. None of this works. The only way our son will nap is in the car or sleeping (and nursing) in our bed with his mother. Neither of these options are optimal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else experienced this circumstance. Is it just to do with differences in the ways that we've interacted with our son? It's starting to make my wife crazy and very upset. It's obviously difficult to hear your son who you love scream for an hour and despite my protests, she inevitably sees it as somehow being her fault. Of course, it isn't but that's hard to accept. If anyone manages to read through this, I'd be interested to know if anyone else has experienced anything similar to this and if so, what they've done to cope. Or if anyone has a theory about what might be behind this, I'm all ears!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3356" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T13:58:54.797" Title="Sleeping routines and mother-father differences" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2012-11-05T13:51:23.717" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sister and I had birthdays within two weeks of each other and it was never really an issue because my parents never made it one.  Their rule was simply this.  on the even years (like 1990 or 1988) we could choose to do a really special activity and go somewhere but we had to choose something together.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choosing together allowed us to do really special things like the water park or a camping trip to a cool little island with a handful of friends.  If we had a regular old backyard party we could choose to have them separate, but anything that meant going somewhere meant having it together (less expense when there was only one of them to do)  My sister and I took full advantage of this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As we got older, mom and dad even gave us the budget and allowed us to plan our own parties and whether it was an odd or even year, if we could figure out how to do something together, work together and not have arguments that needed to involve them, and get it done we had full control.  It was great.  The fact that we could also choose separate birthdays helped too because then we had the choice (which meant we never resented having shared parties).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only time it became a problem was when I was old enough to want a little more grown-up party during adolescence and she was still young enough to want cartoon character things and themes (I, like your sons, was three years older).  That particular year especially, but others as well, may have led to the kind of resentments William Grobman mentions in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5890/2876&quot;&gt;his answer&lt;/a&gt;.  Instead, it became one of the most memorable because Mom and Dad introduced the idea of the camping trip which gave me, my &quot;sleep-over&quot; and her the pirate theme she wanted because we hunted for buried treasure as part of the party activities and we were on an island.  It was still our choice to do that together or have separate, simpler parties and it worked out well.  I think if the choice had just been made for us, mom and dad may not have been so creative and I may have wound up waiting for the sleep-over part a year or two, too long harboring resentment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing I would remember as they get older, is that convenience for you, may mean sacrifices they are unhappy with when they are older.  Your children are two different kids that will likely grow to want two different things.  One may like huge groups of people and want big noisy celebrations while the other will prefer movie night with a couple of closer friends. . . Whatever you decide to do, you will make things easier for yourself if you find a way to include them in the planning and decision making. If they are part of the planning then compromises are ones they made to make something they did want work and they won't resent them.  I do think there are times when negotiation is not a good idea between parents and kids, but when it comes to their own birthday party, I think a little negotiation is absolutely crucial. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T13:57:48.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6473" CreationDate="2012-11-05T13:58:54.797" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your son has become dependent on you to be there to go to sleep.  It might be time for you to change the way you are putting him to bed.  It's easy to stick with something sometimes because it's working (The whole &quot;If it ain't broke don't fix it&quot; idea), but it seems like you only have a couple of options now:  a)  keep doing what you're doing or b) change the bedtime routine radically or c) learn to live with your child not taking a nap and put him to bed earlier.  Perhaps your wife can help you put him to bed and then start transitioning over to where she is putting him to bed solo a few nights a week.  He won't like it at first at all, but if what you are doing is not working then maybe it's time to try something different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other thoughts:  Does your son sleep well at night once you get him to bed?  Sometimes if a child is not sleeping well at night, he/she &lt;a href=&quot;http://babyparenting.about.com/cs/sleeping/a/regularnaps.htm&quot;&gt;will not take good naps&lt;/a&gt; and vice versa.  Do you have a set nap-time or do you tend to follow your son's &quot;I'm sleepy&quot; cues?  Children's naptimes and nap preferences can change from day-to-day.  My daughter will go weeks and religiously go down for a nap around 11:30/noon and then suddenly she'll go through a spell where she wants to stay up until 2:00 or so in the afternoon.  I have no explanation for this.  Does your son nap at daycare or does your wife pick him up before naptime there?  She might have some success getting him to nap at daycare where your son will see other children napping and might begin to learn to settle himself down to sleep.  That might not work for you, and it will delay his pick-up time, but it's a thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if any of that helps, but here's hoping you figure something out!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-11-05T13:58:54.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6476" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6479" CreationDate="2012-11-05T18:30:12.340" Score="10" ViewCount="32573" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a two year old (just turned two) boy that doesn't speak much.  He vocalizes only a few words (like &quot;mom&quot;, &quot;up&quot;, and &quot;grandpa&quot;) clearly but other than those, he's largely silent.  He seems content being silent except when he wants something and is frustrated that he can't say it.  He does do a few simple sign-lanugage signs (&quot;more&quot;, &quot;all done&quot;, etc) that we taught him.  He babbles some, but mostly when he's alone (right before bed or right after waking up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's wants us to read books to him all the time, and he can follow verbal directions from me so I'm confident he understands what's being said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His pediatrician does not think he's exhibiting any signs for autism and other than his verbal development - he's healthy, well-rounded, and achieving the proper developmental milestones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't had success with the technique of offering choices to entice him to speak (i.e. &quot;do you want the red shirt or the blue shirt?&quot;), he just watches and doesn't say anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure I'm over-simplifying, but it seems to me like he just doesn't &lt;strong&gt;want&lt;/strong&gt; to talk.  Are there techniques I could use to get him to speak?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3409" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:06:33.587" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T13:06:33.587" Title="How to get 2 year old to vocalize words?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6478" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9130" CreationDate="2012-11-05T23:06:39.733" Score="18" ViewCount="883" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter began reading at age three.  When we enrolled in Kindergarten, she was tested and it was discovered that she could already read (and comprehend) at a fifth grade level at age five.  She was not tested with Lexile, so I do not have a lexile score, but am aware of their website and its resources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trouble is that despite her reading abilities, she still has the attention span of a six-year old (now that she is six) and still wants pictures. We check out tons of books (and I own tons of children's books).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, Books written for fifth graders have material about which she is not ready on a social level.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is getting a little crazy pre-reading everything (well, mostly skimming) in order to be sure book content is appropriate and to screen for challenge level.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do any of you have experience (or short-cuts) for finding books that are challenging but still appropriate for such a child to read?  For many reasons, I am now homeschooling her and she has already finished all of the Literature and Comprehension material for her second grade curriculum for this year.  She has not finished the other second grade Language Arts curriculum, but she still needs to have reading time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has lots of books she enjoys reading, but none of those books are actually a reading challenge for her meaning her vocabulary building and sentence structure complexity level are stagnating.  She finishes Magic Treehouse books in just an hour or two, but The Roman Mysteries Series (which she loves) is a little too overwhelming for her to feel good about reading alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you go about finding and &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;screening&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; books for such a child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T23:22:29.203" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T22:45:05.787" Title="Finding Great Books at the Right Level" Tags="|reading|homeschooling|gifted|books|special-education|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6476" CreationDate="2012-11-05T23:26:53.647" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are possible physical reasons for a child to have delayed speech.  I'm going to assume you've already discussed these possibilities with the pediatrician.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barring physical reasons for delayed speech and other learning/behavioral/social disorders, it is completely possible he is just a late speaker.  In fact it isn't uncommon for a child of this age to be at the level you seem to describe.  Kids often develop asynchronously (meaning a child will have a strength in one area where they learn something early while being late in other areas)  It is likely you just need to give him more time and he will come around.  Many kids still don't have a lot to say by age two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, there are a few things you can do if you aren't already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't accept grunting - If he points and grunts at something to communicate that he wants it, say to him, &quot;oh you want _.&quot;  Say it while looking at him so he can see how you are moving your mouth when you say it.  Then ask him, &quot;can you say _?&quot;  If he can't, give him the thing anyway, but do insist that he at least sign please and thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Narrate absolutely everything you do.  Just talk about your thinking as you go through the motions.  Then ask him lots of questions when he is doing something.  &quot;Why'd you _?  Did you _because?  Which color is your favorite?&quot; . . .  give him time to answer as though you expect him to answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read, Read, Read&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he still isn't talking in another six months and you have not already enlisted the help of a speech pathologist, seek one out as he/she will have more helpful advice and exercises to offer as well as useful services in figuring out what it is that might be creating an extra challenge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-16T20:01:17.827" LastActivityDate="2012-12-16T20:01:17.827" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6393" CreationDate="2012-11-06T05:28:51.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had difficulty with this up until age 5 or so. It was fairly easy to explain to her that animation (&quot;things that look like drawings&quot;) was not real but CG special effects in live action footage were much harder for her to grasp. What we finally did was open up Photoshop, took a picture of her, and composited in a firework in the sky above her. After seeing us change the picture of an event she remembered she was able to accept that things she saw on TV or in pictures weren't necessarily real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't have Photoshop, GIMP is a free alternative that could be used to a similar effect (although maybe overkill).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you happen to have OS X and a webcam, the Photo Booth app can do some rudimentary green screening type effects that could also help drive the point home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3411" LastActivityDate="2012-11-06T05:28:51.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6481" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6484" CreationDate="2012-11-06T14:37:25.517" Score="11" ViewCount="120331" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the past couple of months, our two year old has been covering her face (her whole head, actually) with a blanket whenever she sleeps.  At night we usually go in after she has fallen asleep and pull it down to her neck.  During her naps we don't want to disturb her, so when she wakes up from her nap her face is bright red and her hair is wet (with sweat) like she just had a bath.  It's not like she just rests the blanket on her head - she more wraps her head in the blanket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first she was using her &quot;blankie&quot; which has a satin side - I was really worried that she would suffocate so we told her not to cover her face or we would take her blankie away.  We ended up taking her blankie away but she just started using the blanket/bedspread on her bed.  We can't take that away because we live up north and it will be getting very cold at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried giving her a very small (maybe 6 inch by 6 inch) thin blanket that she could put on her face but she won't use that.  We have tried giving her one of those quilts that has a lot of holes in it, but she won't use that either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have asked her why she does it but she just says &quot;because&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tell her every night before bed not to cover her face, but when we go in to check on her, the blanket is wrapped around her head.  Sometimes when we try to pull it down she wakes up and puts it back on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be concerned that she is covering her face?  I worry about her suffocating or getting overheated.  It is very hard to reason with a two year old.  We even tried telling her we would take a toy away from her if she covered her face, but when we check on her later, her face is covered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can't get her to stop covering her face - the only thing left that I can think of is to take away all of her sheets and blankets on her bed - but that isn't really an option because of the cold weather.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm out of ideas so I am hoping someone here can think of something.  Or maybe I'm just over-reacting and I should let her do this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="137" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T17:29:45.127" Title="How can I prevent my 2 year old from covering her face with a blanket when she sleeps?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6481" CreationDate="2012-11-06T14:55:03.020" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you need be concerned for a &quot;blankie&quot;.  A 2-year old who couldn't breath or even wasn't able to clear enough CO2 from the area would awake and thrash around pretty seriously, at which point a &quot;blankie&quot; would come away from her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids did this, too, though at a younger age.  We'd just pull the blanket away from their faces when we went to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A full blanket is potentially more serious, especially if wrapped around so it won't just fall away in a panic situation.  The heavier the blanket, the more serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps a compromise...  You can have the &quot;blankie&quot; and you can put it over your face but &lt;strong&gt;do not&lt;/strong&gt; wrap it around your head.  If you do, we'll take it away again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2012-11-06T14:55:03.020" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6481" CreationDate="2012-11-06T15:03:13.050" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest you replace her blanket by a baby/toddler sleeping bag.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I use those for my kid, I ordered them in a shop called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.slumbersac.co.uk/&quot;&gt;Slumbersac&lt;/a&gt; (they have different size and warmness for each age and season, and can send yours abroad), but you have a wide choice.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;By the way sleeping bags were a recommendation from the Child Health Record I received for my son (there they were said to prevent suffocation or SIDS).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3415" LastActivityDate="2012-11-06T15:03:13.050" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6481" CreationDate="2012-11-06T15:05:16.783" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a kid, I slept with the blanket pulled over my head for as long as I can remember.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember my parents shared concerns similar to yours, but I simply could not sleep without my head being completely covered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure I know why I did this.  Perhaps it was fear of monsters, and the child-logic of &quot;if they can't see me, they can't get me&quot;.  Perhaps it was just the comfort of being nestled in, or perhaps it was just the fact that it blocked any incidental light.  All I know is that it wasn't until I was probably 8 or so that I found I could sleep without the covers over my head (although I continued to prefer being covered until my teenage years).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as safety, I never had any issues, and was always able to breathe, no matter how burrowed under the covers I was.  The only issue is that I found breathing hot air unpleasant, so for the less-breathable covers, I'd leave an opening by my mouth for cooler air.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which brings us to your solution: make sure that whatever covers you offer are ones you are comfortable with.  I say you, rather than your daughter, as the range of covers your daughter will be comfortable with will probably be greater than what may seem safe to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking from experience, just about any sheet will pass enough air for her to breathe.  However, if it gives you more peace of mind, find some with lower thread counts.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Loosely woven or knitted blankets will more obviously pass air through, but be aware that if she is like me, blankets that you can see through may be less comfortable for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she gets older, you'll probably feel more comfortable with a wider range of options (if she continues to exhibit this preference).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Multiple light layers will allow her to cover her body more thoroughly than her head, if she is so inclined (if I had multiple layers available, I would typically cover my head with one, and then have more layers covering the rest of my body).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-11-06T15:05:16.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3546" CreationDate="2012-11-06T17:41:50.547" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask your parents for their input on how they managed to raise children without using powerful mind altering chemicals to change the personality of their children so they behaved in a more convenient way for their teachers/parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also if your son's school is failing him then think about moving schools or alternative forms of education to the state school system such as a private school or home schooling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3121" LastActivityDate="2012-11-06T17:41:50.547" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6478" CreationDate="2012-11-06T19:32:21.167" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great question. This is not my area of expertise, but I contacted someone through my network that specializes in gifted and talented children and this is what she said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0910707960&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Some of my best friends are books by Halsted&lt;/a&gt; is a good book for the parents to have on their shelf.  The parents can also go to shop.scholastic.com and look at books by reading level.  I would recommend that they join a homeschooling group as well and consider enrichment courses.&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I asked someone else from my network and this was their response:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Some of the Louis Sachar books are great (not Holes, but the silly ones with math problems in them – the sideways school books.).  We read many of the Madeleine L’Engle books to our kids at that age too, and Beverly Cleary (Ramona, dear Mr. Henshaw).  Half Magic by Eager? Edgar ? Is great too.  There are several of those.  And there are some nature books.  My Side of the Mountain and other books by her (don’t remember the name). The first of the CS Lewis Series is ok too..they get a bit darker as they go along.  A lot of the classics are appropriate.  The Secret Garden, Winnie the Pooh.  And some of the classic books that are even harder are fun too.  The Three Musketeers, etc. My kids enjoyed the Tolkien books (read to them) when they were pretty young too.&#xA;I think it is time to ask a librarian.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-14T14:19:13.773" LastActivityDate="2012-11-14T14:19:13.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6303" CreationDate="2012-11-06T22:21:51.903" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We approached this from a practical point of view. We kept the baby with us as long as it was convenient (maybe a bit longer) and talked to him about moving to a &quot;big boys&quot; bed when  he was 2 or so. &#xA;That may seem a long time, but worked for us.&#xA;Choosing them to sleep together was simply convenient for us as we valued a spare room more than the fights/late nights talking to each other that togetherness engendered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We will probable move them to separate rooms when they tell us that it is not working out. (currently 9 and 6), both boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2012-11-06T22:21:51.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2012-11-07T14:09:50.553" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2 month old baby at the moment so we just went through it. Currently I am sure your little baby is eating just about every 2-3 hours. With our little girl we found that she usually went right after being fed so we would feed her first, then change her. So approx every 2-3 hours unless of course she filled the diaper up sooner or took a poop. We would clean immediately if she pooped as that can cause sores on their  buttocks. When she was in the ICU she ended up getting really bad sores on her buttocks so we had to move to sensitive wipes. As they get older just kinda gauge it, we still change her every feeding which can now range from 2 to 5 hours unless she shows signs of needing to be changed. We still prefer to do it after the feeding if she'll let us because its guaranteed she will go again by the time its all over. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I just want to be clear, if I notice it needs to be done I do it. I don't check her every 10 minutes. You can usually smell or feel the diaper when its ready, they also have diapers that have color strip to notify you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T11:04:19.673" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T11:04:19.673" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6303" CreationDate="2012-11-07T14:19:59.167" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh yes the age old debate in my house hold, to separate or combine.. I have two boys, 8 and 9 year old. My wife is always wanting to separate them into their own rooms, where I prefer that they have the same room. When it was separate we then had 2 rooms that had to be maintained. Now with just one it has made life a little easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On your side though, I would opt for putting them together and leaving a play room. That will allow you to keep the bed room as a room for sleeping and reading books and the play room will be associated with being awake and playing. It may also reduce the mess to clean as they should be playing in that room only(ideally). This will also allow for them to set up their toys and not have to tear them down right away if they put something together they want to keep playing with later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At your kids age right now I would just keep them in the same room as they aren't really into the privacy stage and it will make it easier to maintain :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is just my 2 cents :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I do agree though, wait until the baby can actually sleep through the night.. don't want a grumpy toddler running around the house! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastActivityDate="2012-11-07T14:19:59.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6420" CreationDate="2012-11-07T15:03:47.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Despite what manufacturers would have you believe, most/all formula is essentially the same.  At least here in the US, all baby formula must meet a certain set of criteria involving the nutrients, vitamins, and minerals found in the formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, constipation is a very individual thing.  Different babies will respond to different formulas differently, and you kind of won't know until you try them how your child will respond.  If your child came home from the hospital supplemented with a certain type of formula and seems to be doing well on it, then I wouldn't mess with a good thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, however, this formula seems to be causing the constipation then all you can do is start trying other formulas.  There are certain brands that claim to further process their proteins which aids in digestion which might be a better option.  Be aware, though, that this trial-and-error process is time consuming and expensive.  You have to give your child a couple of weeks on a new formula to know if it's having the desired results or not.  This means that you might buy several brands before you find one that's working and it might take a couple of months to straighten it out.  In the mean time, the constipation might get worse before it gets better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be better for you to find other ways of dealing with the constipation unless it's severe and/or you are absolutely certain it is the formula causing the constipation.  It's important to remember that there is a difference between your child being constipated and your child just not having many bowel movements.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/diapering-a-baby-9/baby-constipation&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Constipation&lt;/a&gt; occurs when your child's stool is hard and dense making them difficult and painful to pass.  If your child is having normal, soft bowel movements, but they are infrequent then there isn't really anything wrong.  Some kids only have BMs every couple of days.  If you're sure your child is really constipated, then &lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/constip.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; website offers some good suggestions on how to help your infant including some diluted fruit juice, tummy massage, bicycle legs, and a warm bath.  It might be good to have those options in your back pocket until you get the formula thing straightened out!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-11-07T15:03:47.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6303" CreationDate="2012-11-07T19:07:32.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Can you share experiences with benefits/drawbacks of either of these options?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our last house, kids shared a room, had a separate playroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;New house, kids have separate bedrooms, no playroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO, having a playroom is critical. And even though the kids wanted separate rooms, they often end up playing and even sleeping in the same room together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, the one benefit we've found of having separate rooms is that it does help them keep 'their space' much tidier. When they shared a room, it was a battle to get them agree on how to clean it, but now they do it much better with separate rooms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, I think it's going to come down to the personality of each individual pair of kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2012-11-07T19:07:32.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6481" CreationDate="2012-11-08T01:59:59.700" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have mentioned, the blanket is probably of little concern in terms of suffocation at this stage in her development because she can move around freely (as opposed to an infant that cannot).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, You might try giving her a thin fabric cap she can wear and pull down over her eyes or one of those nighttime eye masks like some women wear but sized for kids.  If you go this route make sure it has a velcro release where it can easily be pulled off if it falls down around her neck.  You could also try just a small blanket that is just the right size to pull over her face only but isn't big enough to wrap around her head - then her regular blankets can be over her body and her &quot;eye blanket&quot; can rest over the top of her head and face.  It may be that what she really wants is full darkness and just having her eyes covered is all she really wants.  I've known tons of kids that like having something over their faces at this age.  Then, she has what she needs and you aren't worrying over the off chance of entanglement and suffocation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-25T01:20:57.517" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T01:20:57.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6450" CreationDate="2012-11-08T02:39:20.873" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you mean you are Athiest?  Agnostics believe in some sort of universal energy, force or being and often adopt bits and pieces from a variety of religions to form their own metaphysical understanding rather than following the practice of any one religion.  I ask because in some ways, it impacts the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are an athiest and believe your child should also be an athiest, you can join groups that offer resources for raising kids and helping you in explaining death as well as how to respond to other's religious beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you mean you are an agnostic, why not take your child to a mixture of church services, temple meetings and synagogues.  You can also try pamphlets and materials from a variety of resources including a variety of belief groups and books and materials published by other agnostic groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In either case, I suggest taking the higher road and be as respectful of other beliefs as you can.  This is family after all.  There is nothing wrong with simply stating that different people believe different things and that while Grandma believes God is real, you don't - or saying that &quot;while Grandma believes in a God that would&quot; . . . &quot;I believe in a (God, Force, Energy, Higher Source, Being - whatever) that would never . . . and does . . . instead.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just stating the different beliefs without putting a judgement of a value on it gives your child the message that you believe what you believe but don't have to  be judgemental about the others (trust me, if the others in her life are less respectful about it and get pushy - you'll know nad your child isn't likely to appreciate it as much as your, more respectful manner - your actions will speak far louder than words ever could).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child gets to the age that he or she starts asking what is real, you can speak frankly about it from a standpoint of proof vs. faith.  At this point, if your child says anything like, Grandma says you are going to hell is she right?  You can say, she believes that when people die, unless they believe exactly like she does that they will go to hell.  Because she loves you, she tells you this to convince you to believe like her.  I believe she is wrong and there is no proof that she is right.  You can then go to &quot;grandma&quot; and stress to her that she is upsetting your child and while you love her and understand her motives, you need her to back off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T02:46:52.577" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T02:46:52.577" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6395" CreationDate="2012-11-08T03:04:10.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter did this a lot too (and sometimes still does when she is stuffed up).  We put an organic salve on it that had a strong eucalytus scent (I'm sorry, I don't remember the name at the moment of the specific brand we used when she was doing this all the time).  It helped with the chapping, made me feel better that she wasn't eating petroleum based products, and because of it's strong and not favorable flavor, she didn't like how it tasted and stopped chewing on her upper lip.  If you can find a salve he hates, you might have the same lucky outcome (we hadn't thought out the bad-taste part, it was just a happy accident for us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T03:04:10.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1670" CreationDate="2012-11-08T03:22:58.033" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I voted for the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1671/2876&quot;&gt;answer by Beofett&lt;/a&gt; above because it includes great information.  I would simply add that you can give your child attention even while you are getting other things done simply by narrating what you are doing.  Speak to him as though you fully believe he understands everything you say (they usually understand far more than they can express back, and even when they don't it is engaging their little brains and helping them learn language along the way).  Include questions occasionally and pauses for him to have a turn.  When he responds with &quot;goobleck goblah&quot; you can respond with the things like, &quot;wow! really?&quot; if you wish which introduces him to the rythm of conversation as well as language.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you do things around the house and talk about them (whether it is changing his diaper, or chopping carrots) he is learning the sounds that combine to form words and later the nouns and verbs especially that you use most.  Additionally, it will help you give him the time and attention he needs while still getting your daily tasks done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T03:22:58.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2717" CreationDate="2012-11-08T03:35:44.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are in the United States, I highly suggest taking a look at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jamieoliver.com/us/foundation/jamies-food-revolution/home&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Jamie Oliver's School Food Revolution&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.traytalk.org/?gclid=CIaRmOm3vrMCFY6DQgodWQoAwA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Jamie Oliver's Tray Talk&lt;/a&gt;.  The first is pretty eye-opening about how unhealthy our school lunch programs were even as recently as just a few years ago.  Whether it is because of Jamie Oliver, the first lady, both, or neither, things are getting better.  The second link teaches how to evaluate individual programs, and even offers up information for you and your child to view and learn from together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, it offers ideas about how you can advocate for changes in your school if you feel they are needed.  You can then evaluate your individual school lunch program from there and decide based on your particular needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The site's faq provides these answers to your questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are school meals nutritious?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School meals are healthy meals that are required to meet science-based, federal nutrition standards limiting unhealthy fat and portion size and requiring that schools offer the right balance of fruits, vegetables, milk, grains and protein with every meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On July 1, 2012, new federal nutrition standards for school meals went into effect. Under these standards:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No more than 10 percent of calories can come from saturated fat and schools must eliminate added trans-fat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School meals must meet age-appropriate calorie minimums and maximums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schools must gradually reduce sodium levels in school meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cafeterias must offer larger servings of vegetables and fruit with every school lunch, and children must take at least one serving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schools must offer a wide variety of vegetables, including at least a weekly serving of legumes, dark green and red or orange vegetables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Milk must be fat-free or 1% (flavored milk must be fat-free).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Within two years, all grains offered must be whole grain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why should I encourage my children to eat school meals?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Providing students their choice of milk, fruits and vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins, school meals are a great value and a huge convenience for busy parents. School cafeterias offer students a variety of healthy choices and help children learn how to assemble a well-balanced meal. Parents can rest assured that there’s no super-sizing in school cafeterias because federal regulations require schools to serve age-appropriate portions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How are school nutrition programs working to make healthy meals kid-friendly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children can be notoriously picky eaters, but school nutrition directors are always working to find new healthy recipes that children are willing to eat. Many conduct student taste tests and involve students in menu planning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schools and the foodservice industry are making student favorites more healthy, such as serving pizza on whole grain bread with low-sodium sauce and low-fat cheese. Students often don’t even notice the difference. School nutrition programs also work to incorporate culturally appropriate foods into their menus to meet the tastes of their diverse student populations, as well as provide alternative foods for students with dietary restrictions and allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-04-05T16:56:16.860" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2518" CreationDate="2012-11-08T03:50:39.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me this is likely to be a matter of personal preference and entirely dependent on your situation (after 18 months that is).  I've known of families with siblings as many as 11 years apart for whom it worked really well and others that wished the kids were closer in age)  I've also known of families whose kids were as close in age as could be (one was even EXACTLY one year apart - the second one was a &quot;surprise&quot; but most people think the girls are twins).  It is the same story with these families, some are glad for the closeness in age and some wish their kids were further apart in age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things like emotional closeness or not-such closeness of siblings seems to have more to do with how they are raised, who they are naturally as people and how much they have in common in terms of interests than it does age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2521/2876&quot;&gt;previous answerer pointed out&lt;/a&gt;, many advantages of certain age differences also come with disadvantages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I'd suggest that after being sure you are making a choice that considers your own health (at least 18 months between) as shown in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2523/2876&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;, don't worry about it too much and plan based on what your priorities, financial situation and wishes dictate.  Make your decision and then don't question yourself too much (we tend to do that too much as parents anyway). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T03:50:39.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6226" CreationDate="2012-11-08T03:57:52.990" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The above answers all seem to address the needs of the child in giving reasons to continue breastfeeding.  While these are important, it is not best to forget the mother in the equation.  The question is &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; the doctor said it would be a good idea to stop.  Perhaps the doctor was considering the mother's calcium levels or some other piece of information about which we are not aware (in which case supplements could also help, but I suggest a deeper discussion about it with Doc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, the milk a mother feeds her child starts to change and lose its nutritional value (slowly over time) as the child begins eating more and more solid food.  I was told by friends I made at La Leche League that while continuing to breastfeed after a year continues to maintain strong bonds and has emotional benefits they &quot;admited there isn't a lot of nutritional value once the child is somewhere between 12 and 18 months anyway&quot;  This statement is counter to their usual claims, so I'm giving it some weight here I might not otherwise give it.  My child self-weaned at around 10-11 months and we still remained very close, she has a good immune system and never had any nutritional red-flags.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, it appears there isn't &lt;strong&gt;usually&lt;/strong&gt; a lot of reason to stop.  Breast feeding will not play a huge part in struggles with the flu.  However, if the doctor had a specific reason due to some condition your wife has, perhaps weaning wouldn't be so bad.  Maybe further discussion with her doctor to find out his reasoning, is in order before taking a bunch of advice from strangers online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-02-08T05:02:29.433" LastActivityDate="2013-02-08T05:02:29.433" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1983" CreationDate="2012-11-08T07:55:20.233" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mom worried about us leaving the kid in a swing because of the saggy/bowed shape of the seat. Her point was that it could negatively affect the baby's spine. So we listened to her and now try to keep the baby on a flat surface while he's sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2941" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T07:55:20.233" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6504" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6505" CreationDate="2012-11-08T10:32:10.353" Score="4" ViewCount="25727" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is 18 months old and sleeps in a crib. He sleeps well, but he moves around a lot and really &quot;explores&quot; the crib's space during the night! This isn't a problem per se, but it often causes him to hit his head on the crib. We can hear a &lt;strong&gt;bang!&lt;/strong&gt; whenever it happens. Sometimes it's so loud that I seriously worry he might be suffering minor concussions... It happens usually two or three times between between his bedtime at around 19:30 and when my wife and I go to bed at around 22:00. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One option we have heard about is what is often called a &quot;bettnest&quot; in German and I think maybe &quot;bumpers&quot; in English. Here's an example: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.waschbaer.de/Bettnest--17559d2a369410.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.waschbaer.de/Bettnest--17559d2a369410.html&lt;/a&gt;. We didn't have one at first because the German government advises against them (as do many pediatricians, I think) because of an apparent increase in the risk of SIDS, among other things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My Questions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has anyone experienced this kind of head-bonking phenomenon?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If so, what did you do about it, if anything? Or what might you recommend doing to cushion the impact?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do the health warnings applied to crib bumbers like the one linked to above still apply to an 18 month old?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3356" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T13:42:53.707" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T13:20:10.800" Title="Should we worry about my toddler accidentally banging his head against the sides of the crib?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6504" CreationDate="2012-11-08T13:58:57.827" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son did exactly the same thing (and still does, at 25 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did use padded bumpers for a while when my son was an infant, although we also saw warnings against using them.  We made sure to keep them tightly secured, with no dangling ties that he could reach, but I still believe we should have done without them altogether.  No harm came from it, but we used them to alleviate worries about my son banging his head or getting his arms or legs caught in the openings between the slats on the crib, and I wound up worrying just as much, if not more, about SIDS and smothering instead.  So I would recommend against using them; they don't accomplish much, and the risk (and attendant worry) is just not worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The SIDS concerns alleviate significantly once the baby is able to turn over on their own, but there is also a risk of strangulation due to dangling cords and ties, so be sure to keep those well secured (and this is a much more difficult prospect with an inquisitive 18 month old than with a 6 month old who probably will have difficulty reaching even casually secured ties).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important step you should follow, though, is simply ensuring that your crib meets all current safety standards.  If it is modern and meets the standards, you shouldn't have to worry about your son banging his head against the slats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the crib you use is like ours, we've found that the slats are thin and flexible. This results in the sound they make when struck being surprisingly loud, but the amount of give that they have makes direct impact much less forceful than it would appear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I watched my son bump his head against the sides of our crib many times, and even though the noise made us jump, and was clearly audible several rooms away, my son wouldn't even flinch.  I also experimented with banging on the slats with my hand, and it really doesn't take much force at all to make quite a racket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is that if your bed meets current safety standards, you don't need to worry about your son banging his head on the sides of the crib at night (the railings at the top of the slats are a different story, but that doesn't sound like the issue you're facing), particularly if it doesn't seem to bother him (if it did, no doubt the bang would immediately be followed by loud crying!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T13:58:57.827" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6420" CreationDate="2012-11-08T15:05:44.697" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honesty, Enfamil has been highly recommended to us by a few doctors as having the closest to breast milk nutrition. They have several different types, we personally use the Infant AR formula with Dr Brown's bottle line. You can sign up with them and they will send you a pack of coupons for $4 off a package. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.enfamil.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.enfamil.com&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Check this version out: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.viewpoints.com/Enfamil-Gentlease-Infant-Formula-reviews&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.viewpoints.com/Enfamil-Gentlease-Infant-Formula-reviews&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On another note.. lets say the formula isn't the issue and your baby is just having a rough time and you want to help them out.. I massage my baby's belly to help her.. I also lay her on  my chest with her on her back and I stretch out so she is arched.. It seems to really help her relieve herself. Here is some good resources that may help you help your baby :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Massage, I roll my fingers on her belly like I'm doing the wave on her lower abdomen, then I press down a little firmly when she starts pushing to help &quot;squeeze&quot; it out. I have stomach issues myself so I try thinking what I do when I am having issues and I apply same principle to her but in smaller scale. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also mover her legs like she is riding a bike, or I put my hands on the bottom of her feet and let her push on them really hard. I stretch her legs out and push them back in and up so it kinda rolls her in a ball. In my head I invision that I am trying to &quot;reform&quot; the poop to a smaller or longer shape that will allow it to exit easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping her poop when she is having issues is one of my responsibilities and I think I do it pretty good :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Massage: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vseuKsNGmXs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vseuKsNGmXs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.liddlekidz.com/massage-for-constipation.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.liddlekidz.com/massage-for-constipation.html&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/constip.htm&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastEditorUserId="3393" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T15:21:53.287" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T15:21:53.287" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6504" CreationDate="2012-11-08T15:32:22.613" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Despite the recommendation, you can now add a bumper to the crib if you wish.  Crib bumpers are EXTREMELY DANGEROUS before kids can move around on their own, but MOST deaths and injuries occur before they gain motor control.  Bumpers have not been demonstrated to actually prevent crib injuries, if it at least softens the blow so you are only waking up if the bump hurts and he needs you to awake, he is largely past the danger of being hurt by the bumper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason the US recommends against bumpers/bettnest is that they become a hazard increasing the chance of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death syndrome) as well as suffocation.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/18/health/no-bumpers-cribs-sids-parenting/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article will give you the details about bumpers and sids&lt;/a&gt;.  SIDS is sort of a catch-all title for deaths that occur in infants and we aren't sure exactly why.  Since bumpers can reduce air flow through the crib environment, this may be a contributing factor.  Additionally there is a danger that a child might get too close to the fluffy blanket-like quality of the bumper and suffocate for lack of ability to pull air into his/her lungs with the bumper close to his/her nose and face.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article I linked above recommends against them entirely but offers reasons and examples that for the most part, apply only to children that lack full motor control.  The danger is mostly associated with kids that cannot fully control their motion and therefore cannot move away from the bumper.  Assuming all recommendations against their use are given for the same reason, the danger of a SIDS incident for your child because of a crib bumper has passed.  He is passed the danger zone of the first year AND since he is moving around so much, we can all be assured he can move away from a bumper if he gets too close which avoids most suffocation hazards (even in his sleep, his brain will make him shift to an easier-to-breathe location).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The remaining hazard they do cause is if they become loosened, the child can become entangled.  Make sure the bumper fits properly and is fully secured (we never used one because she didn't sleep in a crib, but &lt;strong&gt;I would suggest stitching the ties together so they do not become undone in the night&lt;/strong&gt; if you should decide to add them to the crib.  My sister-in-law used one that didn't have ties and instead velcroed to itself and went completely up over the top rail (I don't believe it was any safer especially since it was made by her mother-in-law and not tested).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-09T13:20:10.800" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T13:20:10.800" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5678" CreationDate="2012-11-08T21:16:30.670" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know why people think the two things must go together.  I know plenty of highly religious people that are not moral people as well as non-religious people who are.  As others have said, be a good example, talk to them about their decision making and talk to them about your decision making so you are modeling even your thinking for them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are looking for ideas about books and resources to use, Aesop's fables have been around for thousands of years and are full of good nuggets and lessons for life in general (you'll likely remember the tortoise and the hare or the crow and the pitcher I believe).  Of course, modern updates and takes on the fables can also be found.  Additionally, most cultures have tales with lessons in them so any number of parables or fables can be used from around the world for these &quot;ethics&quot; lessons - any fable will do.  You can even tell Christian parables such as the Good Samaritan without having to make it about the religion and just discuss the moral lesson behind the story.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you read any story depicting  protagonists and antagonists making a decision, you can discuss the possible outcomes to the decision together.  Allow them to practice predicting consequences of a choice for themselves and for others and pretty soon they'll be thinking about decision making in a way that allows them to make informed thoughtful decisions whether they are determining to buy that new gadget they want so badly or something more morally based like whether to walk over and help the geek getting beat up by the bully right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you sit down for a daily meal together.  The single most important determining factor in a child's social skills and emotional character is whether or not he or she has supportive and connected parents at home.  Sure, you can use books about manners with them alongside those fables and other stories you read, but just modeling good caring, listening skills, and ethical choices will take you a long way.  Hearing what is going on in their lives, what they are thinking about, struggling with, observing in friends. . .  over a shared meal you prepared and are eating together is the best way to be sure their morals and the decisions they are making around those morals are aligning with your family values (and that your kids have good manners and social skills along the way too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-08T22:54:45.537" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T22:54:45.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4124" CreationDate="2012-11-08T23:14:27.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The older sibling is not responsible for the younger siblings decision to cheat.  Lets say the younger had asked some one else - absolutely not the older child's fault.  However, the older sibling is responsible for &quot;aiding&quot; in cheating if he/she decides to go ahead and help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming the elder just wanted to help the younger and went ahead and gave the younger paper/answer key etc. so he/she could cheat:  I would personally discuss with the older sibling the idea that the older sibling already learned the material covered when he/she was in the class, but if his/her younger sibling is cheating than he/she isn't learning what he/she needs to learn.  By helping with cheating, the older sibling is actually hurting the younger's chances of ultimate success in feeling good about the accomplishment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another answer discusses an older sibling needing to be responsible enough to consider the child's long-term-interests.  While this is true, many parenting cultures can be quite punitive so I would just clarify that the older sibling is still a child and shouldn't be admonished for not having considered this.  Instead, use the infraction as a chance to teach the older sibling HOW to.  I would then let it go unless it happened again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also caution against instructing your kids to just tell on their sibling.  Tattling can create huge rifts between siblings and in this case, there are a lot of in-between responses an older kid can have.  Kids should involve an adult right away if anyone is getting physically hurt or has the potential of being physically hurt and that should always be CRAZY CLEAR.  However, In regard to this topic, there is a little more grey area and some in-between options (a couple outlined in paragraph below). This part depends upon age and level of maturity, but teaching a child how to have an influence themselves can be a far more valuable lesson for the child later on in life than just asking them to default to telling you about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead try this: After the older sibling understands the long view, ask him or her what he or she thinks could have been done to help the younger sibling not cheat.  Then play out the natural consequences of the solutions that are brainstormed in your discussion together.  Tattling can be one solution, but so can saying, &quot;I won't help you because. . .&quot; while trying to persuade the younger sibling away from cheating altogether, and &quot;If you do decide to cheat, I may have to tell Mom and Dad about it&quot; and then lett the younger sibling make the decision from there.   Try to be open to the older siblings ideas and give them time to get entire ideas out and developed.  Ask your older sibling questions like (just keep them calm and in an open tone), &quot;How do you think that would have turned out?&quot;   &quot;How would you have felt doing that?&quot;   &quot;How do you think your sibling would respond?&quot;  &quot;What are the long-term benefits of that decision?  long-term negatives?&quot;  Decide on a list of options the older sibling had together this way.  You can't predict every outcome and what is done is done, but the exercise is a good one for critical thinking and decision making.  It also gives your child the message that there are always options available - including going to Mom and Dad for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The younger sibling would also get a separate discussion&lt;/strong&gt;.  First, a lot of listening about the justifications etc. the child offers up.  After assuring the child I understand through asking clarifying questions and paraphrasing, I would do what I needed as the instructive parent.  If I believe the child is feeling the weight of too much pressure I would start by doing what I could to alleviate that pressure (at the moment of the discussion I would admit to my own mistakes before discussing theirs).  Part of that statement can include, &quot;I wish you had told me this BEFORE you cheated, because I am your parent, which means I am here to help and guide you.  No that you have cheated though we have to deal with that too.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;AFTER hearing the child out, I would go about discussing the pitfalls of cheating, how it hurts friends/siblings to bring them into doing something wrong by putting the co-consiprator in a difficult position (because he/she loves you and wants to help) AND go from there.  This is also the time to discuss what school is for and the long-view in terms of learning goals etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, in my experience if you are a parent that focuses mostly on effort and the learning process, you are not likely to run into problems with cheating anyway (maybe once as an experiment, but not recurring).  In ten years of teaching (In private schools) my middle schoolers rarely cheated unless they had parents that were very outcome focused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-09T13:17:00.137" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T13:17:00.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6478" CreationDate="2012-11-08T23:17:05.570" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you just wandering around your local library? I've found quite a few books in ours with some pictures mixed with more complex text. Greek mythology works well - the stories are reasonably complex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also used our library to get our daughter out of her comfort zone (in terms of themes). If she was stuck on Hardy Boys for too long, we'd try supernaturals. When she got stuck on those (loved Eragon and Percy Jackson), she tried horror books. Since we could just grab a dozen books, she could try them out and if they didn't gran her in the first chapter, she could move onto the next one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T23:17:05.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2012-11-08T23:47:31.103" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest not bothering to explain too much until they've learned a little about how the system works.  If your kid is 3rd grade or under it can be as simple as, &quot;different people can care very much about the same thing but have different solutions to a problem they think will work best to solve the problem&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For older kids (you think are ready) going over different party views and ways of thinking about a certain topic your child can relate to (don't forget independent, green etc. Even if Reps and Demos are more powerful right now, if you are truly trying not to be biased you've got to include ALL viewpoints.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start with something along the lines of, &quot;party x believes that the most helpful thing to do is . . .  They think this way because their root assumption is . . .&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow up in the same way for party b, c, d, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For even older kids (Middle School and up).  I know you're not there yet, but you will get there so I thought I'd include it.  Look at party platforms together.  Ask questions about what they think about what they are reading.  Play a little devil's advocate and debate a little for the sake of polite debating.  Try to watch different news channels (because they all offer a little bias).  Teach about bias and how to look for it.  Ask lots of questions and have your own debates and discussions over dinner together (just make sure you talk to your adolescent teen as though they are some one else's kid so you keep it polite and respectful if you do start honestly feeling heated about something you are discussing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-08T23:47:31.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6512" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6521" CreationDate="2012-11-09T05:14:00.740" Score="6" ViewCount="5238" Body="&lt;p&gt;I and my partner both work in software companies. There are only two of us living together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if we put the baby in a playschool for around 7 hours, daily, after he is one year old, can it cause any psychological issues to baby? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By psychological issues, I mean:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;1. Detachment from parents.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2. Aggressive behavior.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;3. Being stubborn.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-14T13:54:03.680" LastActivityDate="2019-03-14T09:52:04.637" Title="Can putting a one year old baby in a playschool for around 7 hours, daily, cause any psychological issues to the baby?" Tags="|pre-schooler|psychology|working-parents|mental-health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6512" CreationDate="2012-11-09T08:42:09.123" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having worked in a nursery for several years, I can say that it is very common for parents to have their child or children come &quot;full-time&quot;- that is 7-8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Sometimes from as young as 3 months. Mostly, this was not the parents' ideal plan, but bills need to be paid, so sometimes circumstances must dictate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, what tends to happen is that the child will soon adjust to the new routine, and learn to enjoy it. They may even start nagging in the morning to be taken to nursery, because they know it is part of their routine. It's easy to forget, but nurseries are places designed to entertain, educate and stimulate children. Plus, they learn social interaction skills with other children, that are difficult to replicate at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in my opinion, there certainly is no risk of &quot;damaging&quot; the child psychologically. Speaking now, as a parent, I would say that the bigger psychological effect is on the parent, who feels they are not spending as much time with their child as they would like. What you (we) must remember is that we are not abandonning our child- we are putting them in a safe and caring environment, so we can go out and earn to money to give them a good life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should add that I have observed the phenomenon of children &quot;playing up&quot; for their parents after a long day at nursery. This is probably a mixture of tiredness, and (some suggest) &quot;punishing&quot; their parents for leaving them at nursery all day. Not all children do this, and I don't think it is fair to read too much into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, I want to say that the children who found nursery most traumatic were the ones who only came &quot;occasionally&quot;. I distinctly remember one little boy (aged 3) who came on average only one afternoon a month. For almost a year, that afternoon was spent in tears. Whereas the children who came regularly settled very quickly and enjoyed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T08:42:09.123" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6512" CreationDate="2012-11-09T08:46:15.210" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience with my 3 kids, and those of my friends, I would suggest that you are more likely to end up with better adjusted kids if they get early exposure to playschool, kindergarten etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A well run playschool gives the child the opportunity to interact properly with his/her peers, under the guidance of staff who are experienced in doing this. They get more stimulation than a tired parent can give.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having the opportunity for both parents to get back to full-time work and 'normality' is also valuable, as even the best behaved child can frustrate parents at times, so the possibility of handing them over and doing adult things helps your mental state.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 3 are definitely not detached, and in fact are very socially integrated both with us,and with peer groups, social networks etc. They also volunteer for local community groups, and while occasionally stubborn, I understand they are no worse than others :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All three of ours went into nursery part time from around 6 months and then full time at 9 months so my wife could go back to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T08:46:15.210" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3847" CreationDate="2012-11-09T11:53:06.190" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, remembering that a child who is twelve is entering puberty and a very selfish stage of development my help you to maintain patience when you otherwise might not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even kids who were previously incredibly considerate, can change and shift dramatically and quickly during adolescence.  There is a lot going on in their brains and making connections that use to happen quickly and easily becomes temporarily slowed while they start focusing EVEN more on fitting in with friends and being a part of the accepted and &quot;cool&quot; crowd.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not surprisingly, hormones play a part in this, but only one part.  Brain development is occurring now at a rate similar to what occurred during toddler-hood.  Part of the forgetfulness, disorganization, sleepiness and moodiness we see in teens and preteens is also due to changes in the brain as an incredible growth spurt in synapses and development of a myelin sheath on the frontal lobes occurs (for more detail and information on pre-teen and adolescent &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-mush-brained-adolescent.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;brain development&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The fact that there are reasons and explanations for a lack of consideration does NOT excuse the lack of consideration though.&lt;/strong&gt;  It just tells us parents (and teachers) that we are in it for the long hall.  As others have said, remind your child of things like &quot;The Golden Rule&quot; and the same rules regarding consideration you have always used while you continue to be a good example of considerate interactions and living.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically for a pre-teen, you can take on the role of guide.  Tell her that as her parent, it is your job to teach her how to maintain good friendships even into adulthood (teenage friendships are GREAT, but they are a little different from adult friendships) and that being considerate of others is a part of that.  Friends are the ultimate motivating force for most kids at this age.  What she does at home with you and with her siblings is practice even for what she does with friends - she may not believe you, but point it out to her anyway.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also important for you to know that because of where she is at developmentally, &lt;strong&gt;it is very likely she will only hear and take your advice if she knows you have heard and understood her first.&lt;/strong&gt;  When she finishes speaking, paraphrase her and say, &quot;did I understand correctly?&quot;  When you get a yes, you can insist she do the same for you and expect that her listening to you will be genuine.  Besides, listening well is a part of modeling consideration anyway.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she says or does something to hurt your feelings, state how your feelings are affected (or how you guess the feelings of the peer or sibling may have been affected) and ask a lot of questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, &quot;Why would you say that when you know it will hurt my feelings?&quot;  When she answers &quot;because I'm  angry (although she'll probably use a different word for angry)&quot;  You can respond with, &quot;Oh, well, wouldn't it work better just to tell me that you are angry and why?&quot;  Ask her what made her angry and even if you don't give in, you can let her know you understand by hearing her out, paraphrasing her statements and feelings.  THEN discuss your concern, &quot;Calling names is a good way to push friends and family away instead of figuring out a solution. If she does something inconsiderate (like walks into the room where you were sleeping loudly talking and laughing and switching on the light) you just have to figure it is a teachable moment and talk to her about it.  Try to keep your voice fairly calm and nearly emotion free but state how you feel and what you wish would be done differently as you would expect her to do toward you.  &quot;Wow!  That was an awful way to wake up from my little nap.  I'm feeling pretty frustrated about it.  I hope in the future when you know I wasn't feeling well and trying to get a little rest you will be quieter.  Can you please go be in another room while I try to get a little more sleep?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this stage of the game, expect to do more listening than you do talking; more questioning than answering.  It will help her trust that you really are on her side.  Model considerate behavior by you toward her even when you are frustrated and make you her ultimate guide instead of the typical parent-enemy.  Besides, by listening, you also often get insights that help you guide her more precisely anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-24T18:59:10.553" LastActivityDate="2013-11-24T18:59:10.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6512" CreationDate="2012-11-09T14:20:23.953" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Rory and Urbycoz.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has been in daycare since he was about 5 months old, first with a friend of my wife who was a stay-at-home-mom with 3 girls of her own not yet in school, and then with a professional home daycare run by a wonderful woman who is responsible for 6-7 children full-time during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from my son having an early fascination with blonde girls (the mother and all three girls in the first home were blonde), the experiences we've had with daycare have been overwhelmingly positive, despite our concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we first started, almost all of the children were older than my son.  However, with the supervised interactions, the older children provided models from which my son was able to quickly learn how to interact with other children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now there are several younger children, and my son has learned the rudiments of age appropriate interactions (he is much gentler with littler children, and knows that it is better to give hugs to an infant or younger toddler than it is to try and play &quot;tag&quot;, even though &quot;tag&quot; is one of his favorite games with the older children).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've seen absolutely no sign of detachment from us.  Our son is very affectionate, friendly, and one of the happiest children I've ever met (granted, I'm biased, but quite honestly, he smiles and laughs at least 95% of his waking time).  He doesn't get upset when I drop him off in the mornings (so long as he gets his hug goodbye!), and is always happy to see me when I pick him up in the afternoon (although if he's in the middle of doing something with the other kids, he may not be quite ready to stop what he's doing just because I showed up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He talks quite happily about going to play with his friends in daycare, although he gives equal weight to the other friends and relatives his age that he sees outside of daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have no problems leaving him with relatives that he knows (his grandparents) at times when we need a babysitter, and rarely cries when we leave (and on those occasions, it doesn't last more than 3 minutes after we're out of sight).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for being stubborn... well, our son is stubborn, there's no doubt about that, but I do have to question any assumption that daycare is the cause, or even a contributing factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue he's most stubborn about is eating, and trying new foods.  However, in daycare, he eats literally anything that the daycare provider gives to him, and apparently without complaint.  For us, it has become a game to try and avoid eating anything new with us, but we're getting past that.  However, if our daycare provider hadn't told us repeatedly how readily he eats a huge assortment of foods, we likely would not have pushed so hard for him to eat a varied diet for us, as well, and we would probably have caved in to accepting that our son was just a &quot;picky eater&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to address your three main concerns:&#xA;1. Does he show detachment from his parents? Absolutely not!&#xA;2. Does he show aggressive behavior?  Absolutely not!  In fact, his cousin, who is exclusively cared for by his stay-at-home-mother, is far, far more aggressive than my son, and his parents attribute it to not having any experience playing with younger children.&#xA;3. Is he stubborn?  Yes, but daycare has actually provided us tools to help deal with that stubbornness slightly better than we might have without it, and I don't see any reason to blame daycare for the stubbornness in the first place (how many 2 year olds aren't stubborn, anyway?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T14:20:23.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6518" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6519" CreationDate="2012-11-09T18:22:45.673" Score="12" ViewCount="3807" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is entering those 'terrible twos', and as a father I want to find the method of teaching her discipline and self control that really gets the point across. For most behaviors, my wife and I are doing (to the best of our ability) ignore/reward: we ignore behaviors we don't want to see, and we reward the ones we do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But we've run into a problem when it comes to things that are too dangerous to ignore, and they deal with pain, particularly with biting and with pulling hair. I don't really want to hurt her, but I do want her to learn that what she's doing hurts. I can't seem to come up with a way that teaches her that it hurts. I'm also concerned that she will misinterpret a biting response (she bites me, so I bite her back to show that it hurts) as tacit approval of biting (she might see: daddy bites, so I can too!) If she pulls an animal's hair, that animal is likely to snap at her causing significant damage. So we can't simply ignore this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a child, I bit my mom's toe, and she picked me up and bit mine back. I never bit again. But every child is different, and thus far that hasn't been successful. The same occured with pulling the dog's and cat's hair. We pulled her hair back in response, in an effort to show what she was doing to the dog, and why the dog really wouldn't like it. We've done that twice, and both times she... well... she laughs! And of course that's not good, because the enjoyment from the 'game' is more than any pain she might have received. (Or maybe she's a sociopathic psychopath who is impervious to pain. I'm not ruling that out just yet... grumble grumble...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a while she was biting me every night as we brushed teeth. She did this for three or four nights in a row, and then for no reason quit. It's been two months and she hasn't done that since. My wife and I threw out all of her soothers yesterday, and we're certain she's acting out as a direct result of that, but regardless of the cause, she'll act out many more times I'm sure, and we need to make sure that she does so in a non-destructive and non-pain-inducing manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-05-10T12:55:38.703" LastActivityDate="2019-05-10T13:02:54.330" Title="How can you teach a toddler about pain without actually inflicting any in return?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|teaching|violence|biting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6518" CreationDate="2012-11-09T18:38:59.853" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are always watching their parents to see what our reactions are, and they have a pretty significant impact on their development.  Biting back, or similar reprisals, could very well lead to her learning that it is &quot;okay&quot; to bite (just maybe not to bite someone who is big enough to bite you back harder!).  Instead, show her that you are upset when she hurts you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did with my son is simply demonstrate that it hurt through exaggerated (sometimes, but not always!) responses of how it made us feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he did something that was a little too rough, I'd say &quot;Ow!&quot; very loudly, make a very sad face, put him down, and stop playing with him.  I'd also explain that he hurt me, and make a show of rubbing or favoring wherever he hit, kicked, or bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was when he was a year old or less.  Now that he's two, we make him apologize (an apology is mandatory; if he resists, we keep demanding one until he gives in, adding in &quot;time-outs&quot; as necessary, but usually he says &quot;I'm sorry&quot; immediately), and then ask him to kiss it to make it better (which is exactly what he does to us when he gets a bump or a scrape).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T18:38:59.853" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1150" CreationDate="2012-11-09T21:55:00.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If, after reading one chapter or so from the middle (pick any chapter and test it there) you feel like a complete failure (many books just add to our worries), it will not really help you.  If instead, it makes you feel uplifted while also giving you some ideas and new information, it is a great match for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T21:55:00.277" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-11-09T21:55:00.277" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6512" CreationDate="2012-11-09T22:16:58.577" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids have been in and out of daycares at various ages throughout their lives.  My son started daycare when he was 6 &lt;em&gt;weeks&lt;/em&gt; old and continued there until he was almost 2 1/2 years old when I resigned from my teaching job and became a SAHM when my daughter was born.  Shortly after my daughter was born, I enrolled my son in a mothers-day-out program which met 2 days a week from 9 am to 2 pm.  When we finally moved for my husband's job when my son was 3, he and my daughter were at home with me full-time until he was 3 1/2 when I put them both back in daycare part-time (3 days a week).  When I &lt;em&gt;finally&lt;/em&gt; found a job, they both went into daycare full-time again.  So...we've done it all.  My daughter was at home full-time with me from the time she was born until she was just over a year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter took to daycare immediately at 1 1/2.  She enjoys it thoroughly.  That doesn't mean she doesn't have her bad days, but those occur whether a child is home all the time or a daycare child. My son had a more difficult time adjusting to daycare after we pulled him out and put him back in.  Now that he's back into the swing of things, he loves it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compared to their cousins (4 of whom are mostly stay-at-home kids and all around the same ages as my kids), they are better socially adjusted and more independent.  My two nephews are MUCH more aggressive than my son is and they only recently (within the past year or so) started attending any form of daycare and that is part-time.  Up until then, they were cared for in the home by a nanny.  My nieces, while not aggressive, are VERY attached to their mother.  In fact, my SIL has never been able to put them in any form of daycare &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; they simply scream and cry for her the whole time she's gone.  When my SIL or BIL cannot be there to care for them, they have a series of nannies that fill in as needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My two kids and my final niece (who is the same age as my daughter) have all attended daycare on a fairly regular basis, and none of us feel that our child(ren) suffer(s) any kind of attachment issues.  I like to work and I am a better parent when I work.  I'm miserable as a stay-at-home-mom.  My husband and I go out of our way to make sure that the time that we spend with our kids is good, quality time.  We play, we read books, we go places, we visit our family that lives out of state.  Our kids are happy, well-adjusted, social little people who are happy to see me when I pick them up from daycare everyday and tell me about their day.  But when we're at home, it's not like they start asking for Miss Limor or Miss Keila if they're sad, hurt, unhappy, tired, or sick.  They still want Mommy and Daddy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for stubbornness, my kids are just stubborn.  My daughter was stubborn before she ever started daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Truthfully, daycare is initially harder on the parent than it is the child.  Your child might cry when you drop him/her off for the first couple of weeks until they figure everything out.  It's a lot for a little brain to take in: a new figurehead, a new routine, new food (probably), perhaps a new naptime, new other little people milling around all the time.  Once they get into the swing of things, though, that should go away.  You, as a parent, will suffer from feelings of guilt and worry that your child will feel abandoned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go visit any daycare you're considering putting your child in to.  Talk with the teachers, the director, other parents.  Observe the children.  Do they appear happy?  Are their needs attended to promptly by their teachers and caregivers?  If your state/country/whatever does it, check into the daycare's credentials.  This is usually available online these days.  Have they had any recent complaints?  What were those complaints?  Were the complaints resolved and how?  Drop in unannounced so you can see how the daycare is run when they &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; know you're coming.  This will help you make a better decision about where you want to place your child and help you feel more confident about the decision you've made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your biggest concern after you put your child in daycare is going to be illness.  Your child is going to be sick with something a lot.  Between Halloween and Christmas last year, my daughter had hand, foot, and mouth disease, roseola, and RSV.  This is just how things go.  Kids bring illnesses to school and pass them around--especially in the 1-2 years age group where they just put everything in their mouths.  After about the first year, though, your child will suddenly have the immune system of a bull.  My son rarely if ever gets sick with anything more serious than the occasional cold.  My daughter hasn't really been sick in months now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-11-09T22:16:58.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6518" CreationDate="2012-11-10T03:44:14.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beofett outlines some very natural negative consequences to such behavior that don't have to actually hurt to show your child what pain is.  What he outlines are the most natural and effective (while still respecting and setting a better example yourself) ways to handle what you are talking about.  She &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; experience pain at some point sooner than you'd like without your introduction of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trouble at this age is that even if they understand the concept of pain, it takes a while for them to fully understand cause and effect and their ability to have an effect on someone or something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would simply like to add a resource you may not already be familiar with that you can use in &lt;strong&gt;addition&lt;/strong&gt; to what Beofett outlines in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6519/2876&quot;&gt;his answer&lt;/a&gt;.  There is a set of board books that includes titles such as, &quot;hands are not for hitting&quot; and &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.shopping.com/Teeth_Are_Not_for_Biting_by_Elizabeth_Verdick/teeth-are-not-for-biting-ouch-biting-hurts/1113954/reviews?linkin_id=8068671&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;teeth are not for biting&lt;/a&gt;&quot;  While I do not believe books are a panacea and would never believe they can fix a problem alone, these books are a great compliment to discipline already discussed because they introduce concepts when the child is not &quot;in trouble&quot; already.  Often, if they know you are upset, any more than a sentence or two falls on deaf ears (it is a reaction having to do with shame and self-defense, not a purposeful and defiant shutting out of your voice).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The books are ones we used in the preschool a lot and illustrate what teeth (or feet, or hands . . .) &lt;strong&gt;are&lt;/strong&gt; for in a positive clear way designed for kids.  I'm sorry to say, I don't think the series has anything about pulling pet's hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, you may want to back off on too much rewarding or punishing.  Natural consequences are often enough and even &lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/does-rewarding-children-backfire/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;rewards can pose problems&lt;/a&gt; for you in the future if over-used.  As my handle suggests, balanced mama, I'm one of those people that generally tries to live in the middle, and I too, use rewards, but I have also met &lt;strong&gt;tons&lt;/strong&gt; of kids that were so over-rewarded that it did reach the point of back-firing.  The article I have linked goes over different types of motivation and quotes some of Kohn's thoughts on the matter.  He pretty much recommends against is, saying that while it does bring temporary motivation - it isn't worth the cost.  I only offer this as food for thought.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want a few examples of an alternative, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6397/2876&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; is closely related and has a couple of great answers - &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6400/2876&quot;&gt;Christine's&lt;/a&gt; in particular.  So that you don't &lt;strong&gt;have&lt;/strong&gt; to look at links, here is are two quick examples as they may apply to your situation.  Try observing behavior in non-judgemental ways and let her reward or chastize herself.  For example, &quot;I saw that when you tried and tried again to get that block to stay, it finally did stay.&quot;  To a child who really did work hard at something this will sound like a compliment and it will be taken as one, but what you are really doing is connecting the effort to the natural outcome.  It works on the opposite end too, your spouse may say, &quot;I noticed that when you bite daddy, it makes him feel sad.&quot;  Is an example that helps you support each-other and helps your daughter really connect that her actions have consequences (Again, &lt;strong&gt;a really tough concept at this age&lt;/strong&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Good luck&lt;/strong&gt; and know you are not alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-10T13:02:28.053" LastActivityDate="2019-05-10T13:02:28.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6263" CreationDate="2012-11-10T04:10:37.440" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to, &quot;The Bilingual Edge&quot; when you live in an area where you can speak one language (or two in your case) at home that is different from the typically used language by the populace, all it takes to have them ready for play with friends is to use the &quot;going language&quot; about 20% of the time.  For example, You both speak Hungarian four days, German four days and then Swedish two and just rotate this way, your kid(s?) will be able to keep up with their peers just fine AND be getting the advantage of additional languages at home.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Book, &lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/does-rewarding-children-backfire/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bilingual Edge&lt;/a&gt; had many more ideas and suggestions about how to make such a choice fit in lots of different situations and contexts as well as FAQ's that may help alleviate possible concerns.  The resources the book (and its resource list that is included) will probably have better ideas that will include how to get some English in there too or how to choose which languages to introduce first and how to add more later.  I'd recommend looking it up because you may find it to be a very helpful resources in your parenting adventure.  I have linked an Amazon source where you can purchase the book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-10T04:10:37.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2769" CreationDate="2012-11-10T07:23:14.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to what tomjedrz says, it is critical that you listen, listen, listen.  They will be more receptive to your advice and guidance if they feel heard and respected.  Try to treat your teen as though a young adult you are mentoring at work or something along those lines instead of treating them like a child is often treated by a parent.  Of COURSE you have final say and of COURSE you are NOT a friend.  However, a mentor is still in a position of authority, but people being mentored are usually treated in a way that is much closer to what it is your teen wants from you in terms of treatment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter how much they protest, they DO still want your guidance and they know they still NEED it, they just also want to feel as though they are being treated like the adults they ALMOST are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before telling teens what you think about a decision they are making, it is important to ask them what they think and listen as non-judgementaly as possible (at first).  Ask clarifying questions, paraphrase (i.e. &quot;let me make sure I&quot;m understanding you correctly, You think. . . &quot;) and make sure they know you heard, understand and respect their thoughts - even if you disagree.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, depending on how the teen's answers and the topic at hand are playing out, you might ask questions like, and what are the benefits of &lt;strong&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;?  What are the drawbacks?  OR you can state your opinion about their conclusions (respectfully, but succinctly).  If they don't want to listen to you, you can point out that a. you are the parent still and b. you listened to them, now it is your turn to talk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the relationship required for this to work takes time to build, it is worth the effort and will not only make the both of you closer, but help your teen learn life lessons about critical thinking and decision making he/she can't learn while you enforce rules and dictate how they should make many of their decisions.  As painful as it may be, let your kids make small mistakes now and help them avoid the big mistakes by choosing your battles to a much greater extent than you are naturally inclined to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-14T00:58:36.683" LastActivityDate="2012-11-14T00:58:36.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2905" CreationDate="2012-11-10T16:03:36.417" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Preteens are at a particular stage in life that makes them &lt;strong&gt;very different&lt;/strong&gt; from their younger selves  &lt;strong&gt;and very different&lt;/strong&gt; from adults.  That means they are often motivated differently so your question is exceptional in its likely quality in terms of others needing similar advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing to know is that at this point in their development, teens are actually having a growth spurt in their brains equivalent to the one they had when they were between two and five years old.  They are &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; growing &lt;strong&gt;new cells&lt;/strong&gt;, but the are growing &lt;strong&gt;new synapses&lt;/strong&gt; (or connections) between the cells they have as well as a myelin sheath over the cells in their frontal lobes.  Sometimes, things they &lt;strong&gt;could&lt;/strong&gt; do only a month ago are actually difficult for them now because they honestly get muddled and forgetful at times.  This doesn't excuse things like not getting work in, but it makes it a lot easier as parent to be a little more patient about it.  If the trouble is organizational or related to things like picking up or turning off lights etc.  Talk to them about their brain development and use things like planners, calendars and to-do lists with them.  Einstein didn't learn his own phone number - this genius' explanation, &quot;I have enough to remember already.&quot;  He could look his phone number up if it was written down and he knew which book to use.  Work on teaching them to use methods that require less memory. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teens and pre-teens also have a lot chemically going on (changing and raging hormones) that in an adult would be enough to cause us to be diagnosed as clinically insane and prescribed drugs to help moderate it all.  They are learning how to balance all of this when that myelin sheath is still growing and their brains aren't really built how to moderate emotion yet.  This results in back-talk, fit throwing and a host of other &lt;strong&gt;super wonderful&lt;/strong&gt; parent favorites.  Take a deep breath, remind yourself that, &quot;this too shall pass.&quot; and then try to use empathy.  Even though they are not yet adults, they really want to be treated like adults.  They need you to listen, empathize and understand not to yell and lecture.  It is often more effective to acknowledge their feelings, listen, paraphrase calmly and &lt;strong&gt;then&lt;/strong&gt; calmly state your concern.  Follow your statement of concern with a question - what does your child think the answer is?  You may be surprised to find they know what is happening is wrong and may even suggest a punishment more harsh than you would have thought to give yourself. &lt;strong&gt;Or&lt;/strong&gt; they may express a need for help and how they can get that help from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of using punishments &lt;strong&gt;or&lt;/strong&gt; rewards, continue to focus on finding the natural consequences.  For example, when a child doesn't turn in their work, their grade suffers.  When a grade suffers, so do future prospects for further education and careers.  If your child wants to live a vagabond kind of life, let them live it.  People who aren't gainfully employed don't have money to stay &quot;in fashion,&quot; go to the movies, hang with friends, by cool stuff like the latest i-pad, i-pod and i-phone.  Don't warn, threaten and cajole, just take the privilege away and describe the connection in &lt;strong&gt;one paragraph&lt;/strong&gt; or less coupled with empathy.  &quot;I'm so sorry that you haven't been taking care of first things first.  It is such a bummer you can't go to the theater tonight, but people who don't get their work done, don't have money for such frivolous things.&quot;  Don't argue, don't worry if  they pout, just repeat yourself and walk away - they'll get the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teens also need something that is &lt;strong&gt;&quot;theirs&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;.  A way to stand above the crowd in a positive way.  Does your kid have an outlet that is related to a special interest or talent?  At parties and such, adults are identified by their careers and their special interests.  Teens want this too so if they have it &lt;strong&gt;don't take it away&lt;/strong&gt; and if they don't, &lt;strong&gt;help them find it!&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also may be that they need employment.  Do you feel good about yourself and at your best when you aren't productive?  If they  can't get formal employment right now, why not pay them for a &quot;special job&quot; that will use their best in your home?  I'm not talking about paying for chores here, give them something that wouldn't be the average kid's work for the family anyway. **Or **find a volunteer situation that gives them real-world experience in an interest area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thehomescholar.com/lack-of-motivation.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; for more, similar ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T09:55:04.733" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T09:55:04.733" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6527" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-11T15:28:11.080" Score="-7" ViewCount="648" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since two months ago, my wife is pregnant and decide to keep breastfeeding our first son. This tandem nursing make my wife condition is becoming worse. My wife is having a flu for this two months. When my wife increase the frequency of breastfeeding, my wife's health is worser, the flu is getting heavy, plus a cough. This situation make us planning to stop tandem nursing. I am afraid that when the fetus is getting bigger, my wife body can't handle to do tandem nursing.&#xA;I did search and read articles related tandem nursing. But i haven't found that tandem nursing has probability to make mom conditions is getting worse, just like what happens to my wife. It seems that my wife body cannot handle to do tandem nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have ever face this situation? How do you handle this situation?&#xA;Any good references would be appreciated too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="1122" LastEditDate="2012-11-12T15:57:30.920" LastActivityDate="2012-11-12T15:57:30.920" Title="Tandem nursing make my wife condition becoming worse" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2012-11-12T16:12:11.360" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6527" CreationDate="2012-11-11T18:45:59.210" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't explain what you mean by &lt;em&gt;&quot;wife's condition is becoming worse&quot;&lt;/em&gt; but if your wife is having problems with breastfeeding while pregnant, I would suggest to &lt;strong&gt;simply stop breastfeeding.&lt;/strong&gt; Since your first son is already more than one year old (you mentioned that &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6226/my-wife-is-pregnant-again-does-she-need-to-stop-breastfeeding-our-son&quot;&gt;in this question&lt;/a&gt;), he does not &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to be breastfed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume that by &lt;em&gt;&quot;tandem nursing&quot;&lt;/em&gt; you mean breastfeeding one child while being pregnant with another. At least, that's how I interpret your post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-11T18:45:59.210" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6055" CreationDate="2012-11-12T03:28:42.597" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the comments made by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6058/2876&quot;&gt;this answerer&lt;/a&gt; I would like to add a little helpful (and possibly reassuring) information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many parents don't realize there is a lot more to learning to read than just phonics.  BEFORE that step can happen kids have to know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That stories begin at the front of the book and end at the back.&#xA;That books have stories in them.&#xA;Which way to hold the book.&#xA;How to turn pages.&#xA;That pictures are symbols that can represent parts of stories&#xA;That letters are symbols representing sounds and that collections of letters represent words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An additional language skill related to reading but not a part of learning to read (more a part of learning to comprehend) is learning how to re-tell stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is actually showing you his learning!  What he is doing is an early form of emergent reading and emergent Reading skills!  YEAH!!!!  This is good news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, encourage him to continue doing exactly what he is doing.  In order to also incorporate him watching your example, you might try saying something like, &quot;okay, but then can we take turns?&quot;  Listen to him &quot;read&quot; you a story, and then he gets to listen to you read a story.  This will encourage the learning he is doing while also modeling &quot;real&quot; reading for him and give the two of you time to engage together on the matter even though he is feeling more independent about it at the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T22:50:09.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1614" CreationDate="2012-11-12T03:39:01.717" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I once worked at a school where a mother constantly came to pick her middleschool son up from school wearing a tennis skirt that was so short the bottoms of her &quot;Southern Cheeks&quot; hung below the skirt and everyone knew she was wearing a thong under there.  You can imagine how the boys lined up to get a glimpse and how the son felt about the situation.  Given the circumstances, it was the school's business - many of the parents of the other students were up in arms about it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there was not much the school could do, but they did make an effort to include a similar &quot;request article&quot; in their newsletter.  I'm glad to hear of another school tyring to take a stances and making suggestions - perhaps there was something more behind the scenes you weren't aware of that instigated the school's newsletter article.  There is nothing wrong with just ignoring the newsletter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-12T03:39:01.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="203" CreationDate="2012-11-12T11:58:51.863" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you know that they are stuck in a boring school?&#xA;In particular I want to point out the word &quot;stuck&quot;. Could they attend a different school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could help them to get extra education at home. Did you consider home schooling?  You could also try putting them in front of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.khanacademy.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.khanacademy.org&lt;/a&gt; and seeing what happens&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Montessori method is something you may want to consider, as well. You can check to see if there are any Montessori schools nearby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3429" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-11-13T16:49:30.827" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T16:49:30.827" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6533" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-12T18:40:17.530" Score="10" ViewCount="31057" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have three boys aged 4, 8 and 10. The youngest and eldest seem to be fine and no issues, but the middle child is quite willful and having tantrums. It's like he never quite grew out of the terrible twos. Small things the other two have no issue with can upset him and set off a terrible tantrum. He seems to have trouble co-operating with others and getting into rows with other children and teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should we deal with tantrums at this age? How do we help him improve his &quot;emotional regulation&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3431" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-26T12:30:19.157" LastActivityDate="2019-06-26T12:30:19.157" Title="How to deal with tantrums in an 8-year-old child?" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|tantrums|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2012-11-12T19:06:17.593" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;As one who did skip Kindergarten, here are the pros and cons I saw from the experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Pros&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Graduating sooner. (Less time in school, yay!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Grade level work potentially better matching developmental level (only for grade school, though; high school offers enough flexibility that this often becomes moot).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He can interact with students that are closer to his own intellectual development level.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Cons&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Being an outsider. If the kids of his grade find out that he skipped a grade, and especially if he still outperforms them, then he's very likely going to be ostracized. Regardless of any other differences he has, that alone will very likely make him more of a target for resentment and bullying (there is a chance it won't, but it's a crapshoot).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Always being the youngest (you get used to this after a while, but it is disconcerting when you're not the youngest for once).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Graduating sooner. Yes, it's a pro and a con. Graduating sooner means graduating before you're 18, which can make it difficult to support yourself on your own, so you're still stuck depending on your parents, or trying to make do by dealing with the Minor Labor Laws, assuming you can find work at all (many companies flat-out won't hire minors, so they don't have to deal with the laws).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It may not cure the boredom.&lt;/strong&gt; I emphasize this one, because all skipping the grade did was basically &amp;quot;re-calibrate&amp;quot; my learning to being taught like someone a year older than me, and I was, therefore, bored all over again. Perhaps it was due to my potential for skipping even farther than what I did, but even that has its own ramifications. Since your son is on a second grade level, he will very likely not get much out of skipping only one grade, and even if you were to skip him two grades, he may still end up bored once he &amp;quot;re-calibrates&amp;quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Perhaps something different is in order?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're pretty much in a catch-22 position. On the one hand, he's going to be bored out of his mind, which will likely result in behavior and probably truancy problems throughout the years. On the other hand, you risk him being bullied and left out for no real gain. It's a pretty crappy choice, let's be honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, how about something completely different? There are a couple of routes that you can take:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Homeschooling&lt;/strong&gt; - Nowadays, homeschooling doesn't necessarily require that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; be the one to sit down and teach your child everything. There are likely a number of public charter cyberschool options available to you (this will vary by state), which often have a number of classes that brick and mortar schools couldn't dream of having, due to the limitations of brick and mortar schools. Paired with homeschool programs provided by your local community center, and working with your district for extracurricular activities (such as sports), you can provide your son with an education that meets his needs from now until the day he graduates.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Gifted Programs/Schools&lt;/strong&gt; - If homeschooling isn't an option, or a choice you don't want to make, another good option is to find and enroll him in the gifted programs, or if you can, enroll him in a gifted school. These schools/prgrams are designed specifically for children like him, and are, therefore, better able to meet his academic requirements, and will more likely be able to keep him engaged and not bored. (Note - it may be too late now to enroll him for Kindergarten at a gifted school, but if you can get him in for First Grade next year, you may want to look at what you can do in the meantime, including possibly homeschooling him for Kindergarten.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-11-12T19:06:17.593" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="327" CreationDate="2012-11-12T19:54:36.263" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am an adult and read ferociously, but I still love reading children's lit. There's a lot of good stuff out there, though it may still be above his reading level. But something to think about for later:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fablehaven&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Mysterious Bennedict Society&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Artemis Fowl&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Eragon&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Hunger Games  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-12T19:54:36.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6536" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-13T01:01:09.587" Score="6" ViewCount="8034" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work at a nursery and I have a hard time managing the toys that the kids play with. I watch them put things in their mouths, cough and sneeze on the toys, and throw everything on the ground. Even though I see all of these things, it is hard to find the time to clean &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of the toys, simply because there are too many and I do not have that much time. Any input would be appreciated! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3432" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T21:49:44.467" Title="How do you effectively disinfect a large amount of toys?" Tags="|toys|daycare|cleaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6536" CreationDate="2012-11-13T05:52:35.603" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I taught twos, threes and fours for a few years.  There isn't a lot you can do about the stuffed toys except put them in the laundry every so often, but here is what I did in my classroom in regard to the plastic stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep bleach locked away somewhere.  At the end of the day put a capfull in a bucket of water and throw in the toys that were licked or sneezed on.  Make sure you get in early enough to put the toys in a spot to dry and dump the bleach before your kids are in the classroom again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry too much about the stuff that falls on the floor.  They are crawling, sitting and rolling around on the floor so those germs are all over them anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have too many toys for a bleach bucket, toss them in sweater bags or bra sacks (you know, the laundry bags made of mesh?) and throw the whole lot in the dishwasher.  Just set to a low heat setting (I rotated things and did a load like this every couple of weeks or so when I was teaching).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't over-worry about it.  On a lot of levels there is only so much you can do and the reality is they are getting exposure an awful lot anyway.  Teach them about germs (there is a great activity with flour or glitter I'll explain in the paragraph below) and work handwashing into your routines frequently (especially right before snack and mealtimes).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The exercise is that you have one child put flour or glitter all over his/her hands and then go around and shake hands with everyone in a circle (wash hands before the activity).  Then have the child pick up some toys as well.  Finally, have the kids inspect themselves and the toys.  They'll find bits of glitter on most things.  Explain that germs are like invisible little things that live everywhere.  Most germs are actually fine and won't do anything, but plenty of them can make us sick too.  Go over how washing hands helps remove the germs so we don't spread them around.  Then, go wash all the flour or glitter off to practice handwashing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T05:52:35.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6533" CreationDate="2012-11-13T12:00:12.870" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would start out by handling primary-schooler tantrums the same way as toddler tantrums -- basically, &lt;strong&gt;don't let his tantrums succeed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Immediate and natural consequence. Deny him whatever it was he threw the tantrum over, end your current activity, abort your planned activity, or whatever else is appropriate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't give in, &lt;strong&gt;ever.&lt;/strong&gt; A tantrum never wins. He must learn this - the hard way if he insists.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let this anti-tantrum treatment last for as long as you can maintain your own sanity - at least a few weeks. If that fails or you feel you have to &quot;give up&quot;, seek help. &lt;em&gt;jlg&lt;/em&gt; suggests a therapist and that is probably a good tip. If you don't want to dive fully into therapy, at least discuss with a therapist what your options are -- he may have more ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-11-13T12:09:43.440" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T12:09:43.440" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6533" CreationDate="2012-11-13T13:41:57.560" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try connecting with him. Often, parenting isn't about seeking obedience, it is about building connection. Children will follow leaders they trust and respect, and feel trusted and respected by. Just like the rest of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, yes, you are right, not all children are the same. He is an individual with his own triggers, sensitivities, etc, as well as his own unique gifts, talents and strengths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, like all of us, children are looking for belonging and significance. When he can't find it through socially constructive means, he'll &quot;act out&quot; in what looks like misbehavior. Help him find his sense of belonging and significance in your family and he won't be searching for it elsewhere (through tantrums as an 8 year old or gangs, drugs, sex etc as a teen).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, tantrums aren't about winning or losing, they are about a child meeting their needs in the best way they know how. &lt;strong&gt;Teach&lt;/strong&gt; him something different, with the same care, attention and patience you taught him to read. When he throws a tantrum, you can respond with &quot;You must be really upset/frustrated/angry/disappointed!&quot; - acknowledge his feelings so that he feels felt (absolutely crucial) but also so that you build his &lt;strong&gt;emotional literacy&lt;/strong&gt;! And then invite him to cool down. Create a space/routine for him to cool down at a time when you are both in a good mood. Ask him &quot;When you are upset, what might help you cool down?&quot; &quot;Would music or art help you? Would laying in bed help you?&quot; etc. It's not time out in the punitive sense, it's time-out in the constructive, productive life-skill sense. He comes out when he's ready and then you can have the conversation when everyone is feeling better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also a lot of recent developments in brain science and child development that shows children learn self-regulation &lt;em&gt;in the presence of others who are self-regulated&lt;/em&gt;. Mirror neurons in the brain allow a child/person to &quot;mirror&quot; the people around them. When you demonstrate self-regulatory behavior, he will learn it. In exactly the same way he learned to mimic your facial expressions as an infant. Thus, when you demonstrate things like &quot;I am too frustrated to talk respectfully right now so I am going to go cool down&quot; - he will learn it too and it will become part of his norm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest reading Positive Discipline for more resources on building a family that is mutually respectful, collaborative, inclusive, engaging, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T13:41:57.560" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-11-13T13:47:35.130" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple encouragement!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I have faith in you&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;I know you can do this, I've seen it before&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;I know you don't think you can, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; I know you can!&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's it. If it is really something they can do (as other posters have expanded upon) don't enable them by doing something for them they already know how to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they've done it, respond with &lt;strong&gt;non-evaluative&lt;/strong&gt; statements to encourage reflection:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Wow! You didn't think you could do it, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; you did!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;You put a lot of effort into &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_ .&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;How were you able to __ ?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T13:47:35.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6272" CreationDate="2012-11-13T13:50:08.430" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Role model self-regulatory behavior. Both to help yourself in the situation, and also because watching you do it is how children learn. (look up mirror neurons)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm too frustrated right now, I'm going to go cool down&quot;&#xA;&quot;I can't listen when you yell, it hurts my hears. Can you ask me nicely?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T13:50:08.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6536" CreationDate="2012-11-13T15:05:06.760" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Similar to @Balanced - I bought my kids a few kilos of lego off eBay, and when it arrived I was a bit concerned with cleanliness. Some of the bricks smelled, some were sticky, some had obviously been outside in a sandpit etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we filled a bath with water and some Milton (very mild bleach suitable for children's toys) and washed all the bricks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To rinse we used a shower attachment, picking up a sieve of bricks at a time and rinsing them, followed by placing them onto towels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Milton is mild enough that it shouldn't discolour plastics, and at the solution level we used (two caps full in a bath of water) the rinse was straightforward - we didn't feel there was a high risk of damaging levels of bleach left in any of the bricks nooks or crannies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T15:05:06.760" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6272" CreationDate="2012-11-13T20:01:46.457" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I would like to say, you are not alone.  There is a reason they call it the terrible twos and the threes aren't really that much better (I referred to them as the tyrannical threes). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids at this age still don't really know how to communicate well - particularly about feelings including hunger, tiredness and frustration.  You probably do this already, but just in-case, I'll recommend that to avoid as many outbursts as possible in the first place be prepared.  Have snacks at the ready, have sleep options and try to schedule things so your child is getting basic needs met in a regular and scheduled way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child is doing something frustrating, use the proverbial &quot;count to ten rule&quot; while you take a few deep breaths and remind yourself who this kid is and that he is a kid.  If you are trying to get something done and your child is &quot;pestering&quot; you.  He probably just wants some attention.  Can you involve him so you can still get your stuff done, while also offering the attention he needs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you are taking care of you.  Are you getting enough rest?  The right food?  Do you get a break from the kids once in awhile?  It is hardest to maintain patience when you aren't at your best either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realize that sometimes (often) what they did isn't really bad behavior at all but an effort to communicate, OR an effort to help.  I once found Alice with a spray bottle full of water, spraying the wooden closet door over and over to the point of forming a puddle below the door (Her dad was in the room, but on the phone and hadn't noticed - I had been in the shower, so it was REALLY wet!).  If she hadn't had the chance to say, &quot;look mommy, I wash the door for you&quot;  I may never have connected that she thought she was cleaning.  Instead of being angry (well, I had a few words for my husband later), I was able to laugh, help her clean it up and explain the difference between how windows and wooden doors are each washed.  It very soon became her job to wash the mirrors (at three years, with help and supervision of course).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help your child develop language to communicate needs faster and more easily, state what you think he wants, feels. . . before laying down the law.  For example, &quot;I know you want chocolate milk, but you NEED to eat food first&quot;.  OR  &quot;I know you want to get out of your car seat and run around right now - I do too, but we can't just yet.&quot;  By telling your child what it is that he or she feels or wants first, you are letting him know you understand and care and second, giving him the language to express himself in a constructive way (when he is ready, he'll start using it too which is less frustrating than the alternative, grunts, pushes, crying and tantrums).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid SOME tantrums and struggles by offering your child's blossoming personality a chance to express itself through choices.  Whenever possible, offer up two choices you can be happy with (before frustrating behaviors are occurring).  For example, instead of putting out one outfit for your child to wear, put out two.  Both outfits should be suitable for the weather and whatever your requirements are for the day (i.e.  able to get dirty for play at the park, or formal enough for church) but then allow your child to choose between the two outfits.  This actually helps them feel like they have some control over their day which can lead to more flexible children at other times when you can't offer a choice.  It also helps them practice decision making.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, I'd like to refer you to some other related questions on Parenting SE - just in case they are also helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/2417/2876&quot;&gt;How can we discipline our toddler?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3229/2876&quot;&gt;How can I negotiate with my Toddler&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3891/2876&quot;&gt;How do I stop my toddler from biting&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6460/2876&quot;&gt;Grumpy three year old when she wakes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1087/2876&quot;&gt;What to do after you've raised your voice with your child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/275/how-strict-should-we-be-with-our-14-month-old-boy?rq=1&quot;&gt;How strict should we be with our fourteen month old?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are more, but this sampling should be good enough to help you find more specifics if you need them.  GOOD LUCK!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T20:06:56.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2680" CreationDate="2012-11-13T20:19:52.077" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It actually sounds like the parents you are describing verge somewhat onto neglectful behavior which IS bad.  Although it isn't bad enough to be considered neglect officially, (assuming the kids have shelter, food and clothes) it is bad parenting and the kids need people like you in their lives to counteract the neglectful behavior on the part of their parents.  Having you as a resource for a place to go hang and someone to talk to is probably super important.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For that reason alone, (you don't want to tic the parent off and have the parent decide the children shouldn't be able to continue to have a good relationship with you)  I'd be very careful about out right disagreement with the parents.  These kids are probably confused enough if their parents are badmouthing the other parent all the time, they don't need more dissention.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have different rules at your house than the parents have or something, just state it as such, &quot;the rules are just different here.&quot;  You don't need to go into it any more deeply than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also be supportive if the kids are complaining to you by maintaining focus on their feelings rather than focusing on the parents, &quot;Hmm. . . how did that make you feel?&quot;  &quot;That must be frustrating&quot; etc.  If one of the parents ever confronts you about being a bad influence or disrespecting him/her you can honestly say you only listened to the child's feelings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If one of the kids is sharing something with you where one of the parents said something negative about the other, you can try moderating the statements with something like, Well, I don't know all of the circumstances, but, we all have faults and challenges&quot; or &quot;there are two sides to every story&quot; then use examples from your own life to back up these ideas (examples that are emotionally removed from the kid's immediate spheres).  Talk about how your perception might differ from someone elses about some disagreement you have had in your past.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only exception I would make is if the kids come to you sharing something nasty that was said about them personally.  It is okay to disagree with a parent if the parent is calling their child dumb, ugly, lazy, . . . AND the kid probably needs you to say you don't think he/she is dumb, ugly or lazy!  If you are having this kind of discussion you might ask, &quot;was your mom mad? - what makes you think she really meant it?  - Have you asked her if she really meant it?  - Does she know how much it hurt your feelings?&quot;  Then you are empowering the child to say something without Directly critisizing the parent and along the way you are teaching life skills regarding dealing with conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you mostly listen and paraphrase their feelings these kids will be getting the support they need from you, without you needing to disagree directly with the parents making things confusing for the kids, and potentially hurting your ability to continue to be there in the kid's lives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-13T20:33:38.913" LastActivityDate="2012-11-13T20:33:38.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6545" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-13T21:59:41.383" Score="8" ViewCount="46035" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our youngest of 2 sons is 5 years old and demonstrating really bad behaviour. This has been on going for 2 years. He has just started primary one and is a march birthday, so one of the oldest in his class. Before he started school we put some of it down to boredom at nursery and may be over ready for school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, he will not take a telling, will not do anything he is asked to do, when being told off or doesn't get his way has a terrible temper tantrum.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His behaviour is not consistent as he doesn't do this at the clubs or school or with other family members if on his own.  He will act up in public and company if we are there.  He doesn't do any of this at nursery and now not at school.  In fact, the school has said he is a role model, a fantastic all rounder in the curriculum, extremely well behaved and that he is generally a lovely boy.  He has even picked up his reading and writing extremely quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he has a good day, he is the sweetest and most loving boy we could hope for. Unfortunately the not good days outweigh the bad.  We have already tried not letting him do what he likes, keeping treats for weekends, supporting him with everything and always telling him we love him even when he is naughty.  We have tried confiscating toys, grounding, talking to him, giving no reaction, star charts and magic 123 but just can't get round him.  He is incredibly strong minded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are concerned because he has started saying things like he is the wrong boy and he wants to leave.  Of course, we reassure him because we want him feeling secure.  We even reassure him when reprimanding him.  Besides, the behavior is not only wearing us down but it is exhausting him too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been brought up in a loving family, has good friends and goes to clubs such as football, swimming and athletics to get rid some of his energy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3434" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-02T13:26:53.857" LastActivityDate="2019-02-02T13:26:53.857" Title="How can we get our 5-year-old son to control his temper and behave?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6545" CreationDate="2012-11-13T22:53:12.890" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are really engaged in a power struggle.  Recent research has shown that for many kids rewards AND punishments are not really the motivators many parents believe them to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After teaching for ten years, I've concluded that some kids are only intrinsically motivated.  These kids also like to be in control of their own destinies (don't you like to be in control of yourself?)  Especially kids that are smart tend to want to learn for themselves, they actually want to be allowed to make mistakes sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For kids like this the things you are doing (taking away priveleges etc) actualy can make things worse because it develops resentment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I recommend taking on the role of listener and guide with your kindergartner. The fact that he is only exhibiting this behavior with you is probably a message to you that he needs something more from you.  Perhaps you've given in to his temper tantrums in the past and just given him what he wants and so it works for him.  If this is the case, stop giving in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, he might also be asking for more freedom.  Obviously, as parent there will be times when you will need to just make decisions for him, but why not ask him what he thinks about certain rules or decisions in his own life?  For example, maybe instead of reserving sweets for the weekend, he'd like to be allowed five sweets over the course of an entire week.  If he eats all five on Monday, that was his choice and he'll have to wait until the following Monday for more - remember HE made the choice, and you can remind him of that.  If he spreads it out, then he spreads it out.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In either case, the really important thing for you to do is to be a listener and support system.  Love him even when you don't like the choices he is making and do your best to stay away from punishment.  The goal is to work away from needing punishments or rewards at all and to work toward a relationship of mutual respect and trust that puts you in the role of guide.  Along the way you may need to occasionally use a &quot;logical consequence,&quot; but even this should be used with care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps offering up an allowance he can spend however he wishes (but then you don't buy him toys except at Christmas and Birthday) will mean HE makes the choice of what he buys and what he doesn't when you are out.  If he can't afford something, he can't afford it and it is a true-to life lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For other things, natural and/or logical consequences are much more likely to help better.  For example, if he isn't willing to help get dinner ready, start with a lesson about it together like reading, &quot;The Little Red Hen.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Then, if he continues to make the same choice, he shouldn't get any of the stuff you cooked.  You can give him a few things that require little prep so he doesn't go hungry while you express how sad you are that he won't be joining the rest of you.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same thing with cleaning.  If he doesn't put away his toys and you have to clean them up.  The toys are no longer available - not because you have taken them, but because in real life, leaving stuff out and around results in those things being broken or lost and the room unusable.  Since other family members have to use the room you are just putting the toys away where they are out of the way of the other family members (then tell him how he can earn the toys back.  The method should be related somehow to demonstrating his willingness and ability to take better care of his things).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing that is super important with this method is that you ALWAYS REMAIN VIRTUALLY EMOTION FREE.  Except when expressing empathy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he makes a poor choice, feel badly with him about it, but don't budge.  For example - lets use the sweets idea.  He eats all five sweets on Monday and on Tuesday he wants more.  You say something like (and with genuine empathy) &quot;Yeah, honey, I know it is so sad that you can't have a treat today.  You must be really bummed about it.  However, you made the decision to eat all of your sweets yesterday.  What a bummer.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also suggest reading, &quot;The Seven Habits of Highly effectiv e Families&quot; by Franklin Covey and &quot;Parenting with Love and Logic.&quot;  I am not familiar with it yet, but Christine Gordon often recommends an approach called, &quot;positive discipline&quot; that sounds like it compliments this style or is at least VERY SIMILAR.  I'll ask her to weigh in so she can confirm or deny that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might check out this &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6545/2876&quot;&gt;related question&lt;/a&gt; about a five year old and tantrums AND this &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6084/2876&quot;&gt;related question&lt;/a&gt; also about a five year old and tantrums&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-14T01:18:56.227" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3350" CreationDate="2012-11-13T23:30:27.090" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For parents who want to &lt;strong&gt;work part-time during parental leave&lt;/strong&gt;, specifically in cases where both partners work or single parents, I can definitely &lt;strong&gt;recommend working from home&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are the &lt;em&gt;boundary conditions&lt;/em&gt; which worked well for me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You need &lt;em&gt;flexible work times&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You actually can &lt;em&gt;work remotely&lt;/em&gt; (as per question).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You don't want to have other children of other ages are running around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your small one has a &lt;em&gt;predictable sleep rhythm&lt;/em&gt;. Chances are that this kicks in from about 5 months and lasts at least up to year 2.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given this, &lt;strong&gt;15 hours* a week&lt;/strong&gt; works fine, if you mainly work during the after-lunch nap and partly before your small one gets up as well as in the evening. If you can leverage any kind of day-care for one full office-day per week, mornings and afternoons can usually be free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Doing this you have a &lt;strong&gt;clear distinction&lt;/strong&gt; between work-time and child-time&lt;/em&gt;, since both run relatively smooth side-by-side (household may suffer a bit, though).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this is &lt;em&gt;only a temporary setup&lt;/em&gt;; in the long run (i.e. until primary school) one of the parents will have to stay at home or you need to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1523/what-are-the-disadvantages-of-putting-a-child-in-a-nursery-or-pre-school-even&quot;&gt;attend daycare&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;*=&lt;/strong&gt; 15 hours is the minimum amount of part-time you need to work during &lt;em&gt;parental leave&lt;/em&gt; (&lt;em&gt;Elternzeit&lt;/em&gt;) in Germany (which the employer normally cannot forbid); this makes it an important threshold there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2785" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T13:50:31.173" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T13:50:31.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2012-11-14T00:52:15.560" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are really engaged in a power struggle. After teaching for ten years, I've concluded that some kids are only intrinsically motivated. These kids also like to be in control of their own destinies (don't you like to be in control of yourself?) Recent research has confirmed that for many kids rewards AND punishments are not really the motivators many parents believe them to be.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For kids like this the things you are doing make things worse because all your battles become about control instead of learning, correcting and genuine discipline that comes from within the child in the end.  I am not saying just to give in and let her have her way, but I am saying that perhaps a punishments/rewards system could be abandoned for life lessons.  If she is throwing a fit, I would say something like, &quot;Wow, you are so frustrated that I can't even make any sense of what it is you are saying - when you are ready to speak like a big girl, I'm ready to listen.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take on the role of listener and guide with your daughter. If she is speaking calmly, listen calmly.  Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase her.  by paraphrasing you will let her know you understand her side.  Then, you can tell her your thoughts.  Obviously, as parent there will be times when you will need to just make decisions for her, but there may be times when you can give a little too.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, maybe instead of buying her toys, give her an allowance (not as a reward, just an allowance).  Then you don't buy her toys except at important holidays and her Birthday.  If she wants a toy she will makes the choice of what she buys and what she doesn't when you are out. If she can't afford something, she can't afford it and it is a true-to life lesson.  In the meantime, she will make mistakes and buy some things she regrets buying - empathize, but don't try to help her &quot;fix it&quot; or return the toy or give her money to buy the other thing she'd rather have now.  She needs to learn the lesson and by not saving her she is able to learn the lesson as well as learn that while you are there as a support and a guide you are not controlling her either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most things, natural consequences like this are much more likely to help better. You might have asked her to help set the table for dinner at some point.  As an example of how this style might look if she were to refuse helping is to handle it as follows: If she isn't willing to help get dinner ready, start by asking her why?  After you've shown her you are willing to listen, state your needs.  Maybe she is saying no because she is going potty, or maybe she'd like a couple more minutes so she can finish the picture she is coloring - no big deal, but she needs to set the table before (set time limit).  If she still isn't willing to help, then eventually, she shouldn't get any of the stuff you cooked.  I might start with a response like reading &quot;The Little Red Hen&quot; first and escalate from there.  No one wants to continue to serve someone that doesn't do her fair share too - including Moms and Dads.  Eventually, after you are sure she understands this connection, you can give her a piece of bread and let her figure out how to make a sandwich or toast, but you've put effort into preparing a meal and she needs to share in the preparation some way, if she won't set the table, she doesn't get to participate in the eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same thing with cleaning. If she doesn't put away her toys and you have to clean them up. The toys are no longer available - not because you have taken them, but because in real life, leaving stuff out and around results in those things being broken or lost and the room unusable. Since other family members have to use the room you are just putting the toys away where they are out of the way of the other family members (then tell her how she can earn the toys back. The method should be related somehow to demonstrating her willingness and ability to take better care of her things).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing that is super important with this method is that you ALWAYS REMAIN VIRTUALLY EMOTION FREE. Except when expressing empathy.  Consequences arise because they are the natural order of things.  Consequences (good AND bad) not arise because of your anger, frustration or even because of your happiness in her choices or pride in her successes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she makes a poor choice, feel badly with her about it, but don't jump in and rescue her from her own poor choice.  Be there for her to talk about ideas that may have worked better for her that she can CHOOSE to use next time.  It is a difficult thing to switch to and requires a lot of work but gets MUCH better results in the end.  Check out schoolathomeeffectively.com for more ideas about how this method actually works out in a real home.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to the question about seeing some one.  Go ahead.  Why not?  A therapist can help the both of you manage the stress in your relationship &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; make sure there isn't anything deeper at work here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-02-04T14:13:20.883" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T14:13:20.883" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6545" CreationDate="2012-11-14T01:03:58.800" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thanks for the shout-out, balanced mama, I will try to weigh in here!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approaches are similar, but with some important distinctions. I'm not sure how much detail to go into here, but I'll do what I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is that PD teaches you how to teach your child social-emotional skills needed for life. Take any PD class and you'll walk away with actual tools and activities to use so that your child develops these skills. I've used these activities in my classroom and they are a godsend. It is not just a philosophy or theory - it is practical! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with balanced mama's advice to give the child a sense of personal power, and to express genuine empathy when he experiences &lt;strong&gt;natural&lt;/strong&gt; consequences (unless he is in any real danger then you rescue him!). To rescue a child from his feelings is to enable him. To not express empathy is to isolate and confuse him (and worse).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, I disagree that not allowing him your cooking because he didn't help with pre-dinner chores is a &lt;em&gt;natural&lt;/em&gt; consequence. A natural consequence is being cold when you don't bring your jacket (ie mother nature). Instead, this is a parent-designed and enforced &lt;em&gt;logical&lt;/em&gt; consequence. And &lt;strong&gt;I do not advocate for logical consequences&lt;/strong&gt;. Instead, I teach a child how to be a responsible, productive member of a group, family, classroom, community, etc using his &lt;em&gt;intrinsic&lt;/em&gt; motivation of finding belonging and significance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This is the general philosophy behind it:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.positivediscipline.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Positive Discipline&lt;/a&gt; which advocates mutually respectful relationships that are both &lt;strong&gt;kind and firm&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;em&gt;at the same time&lt;/em&gt;! This approach is grounded in the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and designed by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott as a program for families, schools and communities to “teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities…in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults” (PD Website).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Positive Discipline believes, as did Dreikurs, that children are hard-wired from birth to connect and that &lt;strong&gt;children who feel a sense of connection are less likely to misbehave&lt;/strong&gt;. Unlike his peer, Sigmund Freud, Adler believed that behavior is not driven by events in the past, but instead, &lt;strong&gt;an individual’s behavior moves them toward a goal of belonging and significance&lt;/strong&gt; that is influenced by each individual’s decisions about themselves, others, and the world. Dreikurs, born 27 years after Adler in 1897, further developed Adler’s concepts on the individual psyche into a pragmatic approach to understanding children’s misbehavior and cultivating “Gemeinschaftsgefühl” (Adler’s term for ‘social interest/community feeling’) in the classroom and the home. He recognized that &lt;strong&gt;children misbehave when they lack a sense of belonging and significance&lt;/strong&gt; in their social environments – and, conversely, building this sense of belonging and significance in a child by developing mutually respectful relationships with the child would &lt;strong&gt;encourage the child to contribute and cooperate precisely because he is acknowledged and valued&lt;/strong&gt; as such, without the need for rewards, punishments, threats, bribes, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When children cannot find a sense of belonging or connection, they start to misbehave in attempt to find it through other means. Using Positive Discipline effectively requires shifting our focus from problem behavior to instead seeing challenging behavior as a child’s subconscious solution to unmet needs (ie they can’t find a sense of belonging and significance). In other words, misbehavior is based on a child’s (subconscious) mistaken understanding of how to find belonging and significance. Rudolf Dreikurs called these mistaken ideas mistaken goals. With this new Positive Discipline framework that focuses on solutions and a child’s strengths, we can help develop kids’ academic and social-emotional well-being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Positive Discipline is grounded in brain research and capitalizes on the child’s natural development to best enhance learning and growth. In particular, new research is demonstrating the power of &quot;mirror neurons&quot; that allow children to learn self-regulatory behaviors *in the presence of self-regulated adults&quot;. ie monkey see, monkey do!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This is what all that actually means:&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Self-discipline must be taught and that &lt;strong&gt;discipline teaches&lt;/strong&gt;. It is not simply a matter of stating expectations and punishing infractions, but instead discipline is patiently and thoroughly taking the time to teach necessary skills to ensure that children are equipped with the tools they need for success. You teach behavior/social skills with the same care, patience and practice as you would teach them to read!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Positive Discipline tools:&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mutual respect&lt;/strong&gt;. Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Identifying the belief behind the behavior.&lt;/strong&gt; Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs, rather than merely attempting to change behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Effective communication and problem solving skills&lt;/strong&gt; (practice and applied in class meetings)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discipline that teaches&lt;/strong&gt; (and is neither permissive nor punitive).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Focusing on solutions&lt;/strong&gt; instead of punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Encouragement&lt;/strong&gt; (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In PD, solutions are:&#xA;Respectful&#xA;Related&#xA;Reasonable&#xA;and Helpful &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that helpful, and sometimes respectful, is the piece logical consequences are missing. Instead, PD is &lt;strong&gt;solutions-focused&lt;/strong&gt; not consequence-focused. That means genuinely brainstorming to find a solution to the real problem, not making a kid &lt;strong&gt;pay&lt;/strong&gt;. Things like brainstorming &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; the child for solutions, giving him &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; responsibilities, noticing and helping &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; to reflect on his own successes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Whoops - you made a mistake. How can you make a repair?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you are in a hurry, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; what was our agreement?&quot; ('and' comes from kind/connected &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; firm)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;You seem really frustrated, honey. Would your cool down routine help?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice that you have a lot of energy. I could really use that energy in the garden today! Could you help me?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you like organizing things. I wonder if you could help me with our grocery budget?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I noticed you forgot to take your homework to school this morning. What did it feel like when the teacher asked you for it and you didn't have it?&quot; (don't judge, let him do the reflecting)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's even an app for PD tool flashcards to help you remember options in the moment! Things like routines, making agreements, trusting the process, encouragement, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest piece is structured family (or classroom for that matter) meetings where kids can put problems they are having on the agenda and everyone works to solve them together. Yes, it is messy, unpredictably and never a 'quick' fix. But think of the life-skills you are empowering them with when you help children, even little ones, practice listening, communicating, seeing things from another perspective, holding multiple viewpoints, trusting, respecting, waiting, thinking critically, having patience, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not lenient, granola, wishy-washy. I can assure you. It holds kids accountable - but not because you are bigger and in charge, but because you are both human and in this together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I work with kids that everyone else has thrown away. There is nothing I could do &lt;strong&gt;to&lt;/strong&gt; these kids that hasn't already been done to them. Believe me. But what I offer is doing something &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; them. Ahh, now that is different!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Off my soap box now, but to be fair, I was asked directly! If you want more (this goes for anyone), email me and I would be glad to connect you with resources in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited because I forgot to add: one way to think of kind and firm that I like is that kindness is connection, not niceness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, here are my &lt;strong&gt;favorite blogs&lt;/strong&gt; for what this looks like in families, complete with all the challenges, frustrations, etc!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.CanWeHugItOut.blogspot.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Can We Hug It Out&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingfromscratch.wordpress.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parenting From Scratch&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.singledadbrad.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Single Dad Brad&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-14T01:28:38.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-14T01:28:38.617" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5187" CreationDate="2012-11-14T03:38:21.577" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know you want to work on having your boy play independently, but that means buying into the assumption that he needs to play on his own a lot (or be willing to go into a bouncy house at 2).  I will get to the crux of your question, but first I want to get this one out of the way.  In regard to things like the bouncy castle and parties, He is two.  He has only recently mastered walking, and most children at this age still can't really jump (it is around 3 that MOST kids learn this skill - still a few months off).  Even if he can jump, he probably has not mastered it yet, and landing or taking off from an uneven and moving surface is entirely different to jumping from a still and relatively flat surface.  Think about how scary a bouncy house would be without a hand to hold if you were in there with a bunch of noisy kids twice your height with a broken leg and no crutches or hands to hold (balance wise, that is about how it is for him at 2 1/2).  Bouncy houses are fun for the late preschool and elementary set - not the two-somethings.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At a party being unwilling to leave your side, doesn't seem to me to be the same thing as lacking the ability to play independently OR being unwilling to participate in groups (from your question it seems he does fine at preschool or nursery).  So this aspect of your question really does seem like a different question to me.  For that reason, I will address what I interpret as your main question which is &quot;How do I get my other stuff done when our boy won't play independently?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is two and he, developmentally isn't really supposed to want a lot of independent time yet.  That doesn't mean however, that you can't still get your stuff done.  &lt;em&gt;PLUS by offering and allowing him time WITH you now, he is likely to be more independent in a healthy way sooner than without the time and attention now anyway.&lt;/em&gt;  Given this, I thought I'd offer some alternative ideas for you in dealing with your situation that can still meet both your needs and his.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The alternative is to involve your son in what it is you are doing&lt;/strong&gt;.  Some examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are folding laundry hand him some washcloths and let him try his hand at folding.  Yes you will need to go back and refold, but in the meantime he is learning that you value your time with him AND that you value his contribution (a REALLY important lesson that helps with a lot of things later on - including discipline and the development of the confidence required to be an independent young man).  Laundry also makes for good &quot;matching&quot; lessons and opportunities when it comes to pairing socks.  Also importantly, he is learning social skills as you speak together.  While you talk about things that are NOT toys and games, he is learning about how to learn, how to listen and the give and take of language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the kitchen, give him something to stir or mash or knead (great life skills to know and sensory experiences).  It is a good sensory experience for him, he learns kitchen skills from watching you and the two of you can talk about what you are doing which also helps him build his vocabulary.  You could also put a little water in the sink and let him &quot;help to wash dishes&quot; as you make them (just don't have any knives wind up in his reach).  Dish washing is another experience that teaches him a life skill AND gives him another important sensory experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound weird, but seeing others use the toilet is a part of him becoming potty trained.  Let him join you.  As long as he sits a little away and gives you some space and isn't trying to play in the toilet, tub or trash, he'll be safe and you can talk to him about how potty goes, well, into the potty while you are at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you probably get the idea.  If, he would rather play - let him and then he is getting practice playing on his own, by his choice at his comfort level.  He may be perfectly comfortable playing independently as long as you are in the room.  If he is, give him plenty of this time.  You can do work (including a lot of housework and office work), read or just enjoy watching him during these time periods.  Even phone calls will work fine too.  The more you just accept the idea of time spent together now, the more he'll learn and sooner than you'd really like he'll become the more independent person you are wishing for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the occasion that you really do need to have a minute or two to yourself, Morah Hochman has the right idea in regard to suggesting that you tell him exactly where you will be, why and for approximately how long and then give him something to do while you are away, &quot;I will be right back, how about you make superman fly over the tower of blocks (or whatever you are playing) while I am gone and then we will see what he does next.&quot;  Just make these absences SUPER SHORT.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-15T19:47:57.527" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T19:47:57.527" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4673" CreationDate="2012-11-14T14:53:22.737" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question has been asked a lot so check out other answers too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the interest of clarity, I propose &lt;strong&gt;addressing the underlying problem&lt;/strong&gt; and not just the symptoms. The problem is that your &lt;strong&gt;son's needs for belonging and significance are not being met&lt;/strong&gt;, this is further aggravated by the arrival of a new baby that forces him to question is his place in the world (subconsciously).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents must be really intentional about meeting this need for a child (and any person really) to feel like the belong in the family/group and to feel needed/significant. In Positive Discipline, we call it understanding the (subconscious) &lt;strong&gt;belief behind the behavior&lt;/strong&gt; and is based on the work of Alfred Adler originally. Here's a further description I wrote &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6549/3373&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, &lt;strong&gt;to promote his self-reliance and therefore ability to play independently&lt;/strong&gt; you must meet these needs for belonging and significance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To &lt;strong&gt;meet his need for belonging&lt;/strong&gt;, one thing I would try is to be really intentional about carving out &lt;strong&gt;time to spend with this child without any distractions&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;strong&gt;Schedule it in advance, let him pick the activity&lt;/strong&gt;, and name it his mommy/daddy time. You know your child best so do some brainstorming with your co-parent to think of what would help this child feel the most connected/wanted/etc. Have this time away from the infant. (As the infant grows, s/he will need their own mommy/daddy time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To &lt;strong&gt;meet his need for significance&lt;/strong&gt;, give him opportunity to feel needed and capable. This can be reached &lt;strong&gt;in part&lt;/strong&gt; by helping with the baby, but his identity needs to be &lt;strong&gt;more than just a big brother&lt;/strong&gt;. I really like Balanced Mama's answer to a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5187/encouraging-my-2-year-old-to-play-independently&quot;&gt;related question&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If you are folding laundry hand him some washcloths and let him try his hand at folding. Yes you will need to go back and refold, but in the meantime he is learning that you value your time with him AND that you value his contribution (a REALLY important lesson that helps with a lot of things later on - including discipline). Laundry also makes for good &quot;matching&quot; lessons and opportunities when it comes to pairing socks. Also importantly, he is learning social skills as you speak together. While you talk about things that are NOT toys and games, he is learning about how to learn, how to listen and the give and take of language.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;In the kitchen, give him something to stir or mash or knead (great life skills to know and sensory experiences). It is a good sensory experience for him, he learns kitchen skills from watching you and the two of you can talk about what you are doing which also helps him build his vocabulary. You could also put a little water in the sink and let him &quot;help to wash dishes&quot; as you make them (just don't have any knives wind up in his reach). Dish washing is another experience that teaches him a life skill AND gives him another important sensory experience.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To &lt;strong&gt;address the playing issue more immediately&lt;/strong&gt;, try investing time &lt;strong&gt;teaching him how to play.&lt;/strong&gt; If he is the first-born and doesn't have a lot of experience with imaginative play, this is especially crucial for his own development, as well as your sanity. I responded &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6404/3373&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. Basically, slowly take his play one step further by asking questions and introducing new scenarios into the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To &lt;strong&gt;respond to the tantrums in the moment&lt;/strong&gt; you have many options, some I have used are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;Let me know when you are done.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;Wow, you are upset/angry/frustrated. Let's cool down and then we can talk&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; (this works best when you've already brainstormed with him options to help him calm down, and as a bonus it helps build his emotional literacy when you name his feeling so that soon he can begin to name his own feelings so he won)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;I need a hug&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; (I love this one, it stops them in their tracks and helps you both feel better!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;My ears hurt when you speak/scream like that and I can't listen. Let me know when you done screaming so I can listen&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers want to be heard just like the rest of us. But unlike the rest/most of us, they don't have the language skills nor the emotional literacy/regulation to be able to communicate without screaming. These are the skills &lt;strong&gt;you must teach your child&lt;/strong&gt;, with the same care, attention and patience as you will teach him to read, use the toilet, etc. It is no different. Giving your child attention won't cause/reinforce tantrums, it will help prevent the need for them. If you're only paying attention to your child when he throws a tantrum, that's a different issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always, my favorite blogs for this are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.CanWeHugItOut.blogspot.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Can We Hug It Out&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingfromscratch.wordpress.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parenting From Scratch&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.singledadbrad.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Single Dad Brad&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, if you need a laugh, and it sounds like you probably do, &lt;a href=&quot;http://thehonesttoddler.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;'s a blog written from the perspective of a toddler that I just found yesterday. It is very funny!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T18:52:31.237" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4673" CreationDate="2012-11-14T22:30:24.917" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest you also refer to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5187/2876&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; which is essentially the same as yours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, he is still a toddler and needs your attention (hence the demanding aspects of his behavior).  While, I feel Christine Gordon's advice to you is worthy of attention (She did quote me after-all)  Thanks Chrstine!!, I do feel a bit of advice as it relates to the newborn may be beneficial. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make your toddler a part of the care team for the baby.  No, he can't carry and rock her back to sleep in the middle of the night, change her diaper or even feed her, but he can hand you a wipe and a diaper while you are engaged in changing the &quot;new addition.&quot;  He can help to scoop formula into a bottle (if you are using formula at all).  He can help in a lot of little ways that make him feel needed (something Christine also mentions when she mentions significance) and valued.  It also offers him some attention even while you are giving the new addition attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to the tantrums, again, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6552/2876&quot;&gt;Christine's answer&lt;/a&gt; rings with a lot of truth.  A child shouldn't get a bunch of attention for temper tantrums (or their way because of them), but helping to include him, making sure his needs are met along the way AND following up after a tantrum and cool down with preferred, alternative behaviors are all steps you can take that will likely make a big difference in both your experience with your son AND his attitude toward the baby as well as you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-14T22:30:24.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2390" CreationDate="2012-11-15T04:35:13.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;So I don't have teens of my own, but I've taught quite a few pre-teens and early teens (and taken them on outdoor ed trips), plus, I've done a three week trip in Costa Rica with a group of Highschoolers (one other teacher, and two chaperones).  As teacher, of course we were also able to require a certain amount of homework/quiet time etc.  However, some of the games we played have already been mentioned like Balder-dash and just being goofy and singing songs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm surprised nobody brought up Mad Libs.  These are great.  Many times such a thing needs to be the teens idea, but if you just stick a tablet of mad libs in the car for them to find, it might provide some pretty funny entertainment for awhile - especially with teen vocabularies you could really have some fun with this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also drama games where you trade something like the alphabet back and forth while expressing emotion.  A game master calls an emotion and the first player says, &quot;A&quot; in that emotion.  The game master calls another emotion and the second player says, &quot;B&quot; in the new emotion and so on until someone can't do it because they're laughing or get an emotion that is tough for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try the game where you list things alphabetically.  Pick a category together, (for example fruits).  Player 1 says, &quot;Apple&quot; player two says, &quot;banana&quot; and player three says &quot;citrus&quot; and so on until a player gets a letter that they can't think of an example for.  You may go through the alphabet multiple times before anyone gets stumped, so you can't repeat the same fruit again.  This one works for more teen-friendly topics like music bands and celebrities too.  What is mainly fun for them is when you say some band name from your teenhood and then they get to laugh at how old and out-of-date you are, but its still fun and fills time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out some YA books on tape.  Many libraries offer these for checkout (ours for three weeks), but you can also use The Cracker Barrel if there are any along your route or just download some to an ipod (or other appropriate technology) or your computer and then burn to a disk.  Find something somewhat controversial you can talk about at the end and have a little debate, play a little devil's advocate/etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, since they are teens, just chilling can be good too.  If you sort of &quot;disappear&quot; into the steering wheel, you will learn things about your teens you never thought any teen would share.  They magically forget you are there and you may find yourself particularly proud of the character your child exhibits, surprised by how logical they can be, or informed about a challenge being faced they hadn't opened up to you about.  They will largely entertain themselves.  Take turns playing &quot;good music&quot; some of it good to them and some of it good to you and relax.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-15T04:55:33.793" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T04:55:33.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5600" CreationDate="2012-11-15T14:42:06.317" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to Rory's answer, have you thought about talking to your son about it?  Ask him if he is angry with you and then listen to what he says.  It might go a long way and you could even brainstorm with him some ideas he might like.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, he is stressed/angry because of the change in your schedule (in which case a talk where you show your five year old you care to listen to his feelings about it, even if you can't change your schedule, AND Rory's ideas should do the trick).  However, five is also a BIG YEAR developmentally and socially.  A 5 year is beginning to make symbolic connections they haven't made before, also, many five year-olds start school and expectations in their ability to do all kinds of things rises along with responsibilities AND they start caring a great deal more about the relationships (like with their parents and family) and friendships a great deal more than they have in the past.  There may be a few factors at play here that neither of you are really aware of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if his anger/frustration/distress are purely about you being around less, there may be some symbolism in your absence for him that is inaccurate - like that you don't love them as much as you used to.  Talking to him about it will allow you to clear this right up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T14:42:06.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5620" CreationDate="2012-11-15T14:55:08.470" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter went through this phase, my go to response was always, &quot;well, then you should try so you get practice until eventually you can.  I'll watch you while you try.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she argued that she shouldn't have to try, I said, &quot;well, the trouble with that is that as your Mom it is my job to teach you things so you can do them on your own, if I just do it for you then I'm not doing my job.  Bummer.  I guess we can't go anywhere until you give it a shot.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I'd watch her try.  Often, she was able to do whatever, but it took her longer than it would've taken me which might be why she wanted me to do it.  Sometimes she did get stuck somewhere along the line and I could give her useful tips and tricks or help her at the point while encouraging her efforts. &quot;Hey that seemed like a good try, I bet your fingers (or whatever) will just keep getting better at it every time you try.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she was successful I observed her success, &quot;oh look at that! You got your coat on and you even got one button done!  Would you like a little help with some of the other buttons now?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This method did two things: It showed her I was there and on her team rather than putting us at odds while still insisting on her efforts AND it taught her the value of practice and patience - that it is okay not to be GREAT at it right away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that she is six, she is well-past the &quot;I can't&quot; stage, and when she is facing a frustrating challenge that is proving difficult for her, (hitting a tennis ball in the center of the raquet for example)  I often hear her tell herself, &quot;but with practice I'll get it&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is also what she told my parents when they asked her if she was ready for her first TKD championship the night before.  She said, &quot;not really, I'm nervous, but this is a first time so I'll just go and do my best - then next time I won't be so nervous and I'll learn and eventually with practice, I'll get it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using this method in combination with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5625/2876&quot;&gt;Kit Fox's&lt;/a&gt; method and making sure to slow it down and understand where your kid is coming from should work wonders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T15:02:17.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6476" CreationDate="2012-11-15T21:15:14.897" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone who is in a very similar situation with our own almost-two-year-old, our pediatrician actually recommended we start in on early intervention speech therapy. It's easier to help early than it is to catch them up later.  We just had an evaluation done and they concluded that some form of therapy would be very beneficial.  Neither the pediatrician nor the speech therapists were worried about any other issues.  We haven't started therapy yet, but we're looking forward to it as it's frustrating for both parents and kid not being able to properly communicate.  I would talk to your pediatrician about getting a referral to an early development group that works on these things, as it may be beneficial.  In Indiana it's called First Steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, balanced mama's point about how a child develops asynchronously is likely a part of both our children's issues, and with any luck, speech should come soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2805" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T21:15:14.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2390" CreationDate="2012-11-15T21:28:09.910" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love Ghost.  A lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other games:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Encore&lt;/strong&gt; - Someone says a word or category (e.g., &quot;Boys names A-L&quot; or &quot;Colors&quot;) and sings a song with that word in it.  Go around in a circle until someone can't think of other songs with that word in it.  That person drops out and the game continues on until there's only one left.  (or you can have two teams).  Whoever wins chooses the next word (or whoever loses first...).  I should note that this is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00000JKL7&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;purchasable board game&lt;/a&gt;, too, but the only thing that really gets you is the words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Geography&lt;/strong&gt; - First player says a place name (city, continent, body of water, neighborhood, whatever).  The next person has to think of a place name that hasn't yet been mentioned that starts with the last letter of the previous place.  The game continues until you get mind-blowingly bored.  E.g., &quot;France&quot;, &quot;Epcot&quot;, &quot;Tokyo&quot;, &quot;Oceania&quot;, &quot;Aral Sea&quot;... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Chinese Restaurant Game&lt;/strong&gt; - This is a game my brother and I made up at a Chinese restaurant, hence the name.  Feel free to call it something else (maybe &quot;Free Association&quot;).  One person thinks of two words or phrases.  The other person has to get from one to the other one step at a time using words that somehow connect in whatever way makes sense.  The fun is explaining the weird connections your brain makes.  For instance, &quot;Dog&quot; and &quot;Cinderella&quot; can be (among an infinite number of paths): Dog =&gt; Puppy =&gt; Guppy =&gt; Fish =&gt; Fishbowl =&gt; Glass =&gt; Glass slipper =&gt; Cinderella.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Twenty questions/Many questions&lt;/strong&gt; - One person comes up with a noun of some sort (physical things work best).  The other players are guessers - they try to figure out what your noun is based on yes-or-no questions.  The first question is always &quot;Animal, Vegetable or Mineral?&quot; - Animal if it's a person or animal, vegetable if it's a plant, mineral if it's anything non-living (water, computer, volcanoes, and sky all fit into this category).  The guessers continue to ask questions (&quot;Is it round?&quot; &quot;Can I hold it in my hand?&quot; &quot;Have you ever eaten one?&quot;) until either (a) they have correctly guessed the answer (&quot;Is it the moon?&quot;) or (b) they run over the limit of questions.  IMO, this game usually works best if you have infinite questions and you use rather obscure answers (venetian blinds, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Stonehenge, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Going on a Picnic&lt;/strong&gt; - One person comes up with a criterion for judging words (to be explained). The person says, &quot;I'm going on a picnic and I'm going to bring X, Y and Z,&quot; where X, Y and Z are three words or phrases that match the criterion.  The other players ask, &quot;Can I bring a Q?&quot; to which the judge says yes or no based on the criteria.  The goal for the guessers is to figure out what the criterion is. The criterion can be based on the actual properties of the object (e.g., &quot;things that are bigger than a bowling ball&quot;) or on the properties of the words (e.g., &quot;things with double letters&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;MindTrap&lt;/strong&gt; - &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MindTrap&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MindTrap&lt;/a&gt; is a really great thinking game that you can buy cards for.  The driver doesn't need to see the cards - she just needs to participate in the question asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3376" LastEditorUserId="3376" LastEditDate="2012-11-15T21:34:48.057" LastActivityDate="2012-11-15T21:34:48.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6560" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6562" CreationDate="2012-11-15T22:34:28.947" Score="2" ViewCount="129" Body="&lt;p&gt;Suppose the alarm is starting and we must reach shelter as soon as possible for fear of falling missiles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 2 y/o daughter understands most words and conditions, but I can't think of a good way to explain such a situation to her especially if it will happen in the middle of the night and she's forced out of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe many parents will make it a game for their children, for example &quot;Let's race to the shelter, the winner get a candy&quot; or &quot;this noisy sound means we start a running contest&quot; etc. However shouldn't we explain the real situation? At what age is it appropriate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there other things to consider?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T00:09:47.240" Title="How to quell toddler's fear in time of emergency?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2120" CreationDate="2012-11-15T22:58:48.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Violence&quot; towards a stuffed animal isn't necessarily a problem. Especially for this age. It is part of imaginative play, just like everything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, expressing violence towards a stuffed animal or pillow, is actually an appropriate means to vent frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hitting a person/animal is different. At 2 1/2, it is not cruelty or violence, they are still learning. When he hits, make a sad face just say &quot;Ouch. That hurts me. Gentle touches.&quot; You can guide his hand in petting the animal or whatever nicely. Then just redirect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to make an addition:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;strong&gt;if he is hitting people out of anger/frustration&lt;/strong&gt;, you need to &lt;strong&gt;teach him how to communicate this emotion without hitting&lt;/strong&gt;. I recommend &quot;Bugs &amp;amp; Wishes&quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get a picture or toy of a bug (ladybug, etc) and a picture or toy of a wand. Role play (and practice, practice, practice) using the bug and wand holding each up in turn:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;It bugs me when you &lt;strong&gt;__ and I wish you would &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; instead&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is basically an i-statement for little kids. It works wonders! After some time practicing this in your home. Let him use the props to remind him of the words. After he's comfortable with this part of it, introduce the next stage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When somebody uses bugs and wishes, the options for response are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm sorry&quot;&#xA;&quot;I didn't know&quot;&#xA;&quot;I'll stop&quot;&#xA;&quot;I'll do that instead&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's it. He/you/whoever gets to choose one of these in return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This teaches him how to express feelings of frustration/anger appropriately and gives him the words to actually do so (without just saying &quot;use your words&quot;). When he is frustrated at someone, prompt him and ask &quot;Would you like to use bugs and wishes?&quot; &lt;strong&gt;This is a tool he will be able to use for life!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-16T05:28:05.600" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T05:28:05.600" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6560" CreationDate="2012-11-16T00:09:47.240" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do not have personal experience with what you are asking about, but we did need to prep kids for natural disaster and fire.  The way we dealt with the alarm for fire drills and earthquake preparedness at the preschool (ages 2-4) was to be honest but mild with the kids and really focus on giving them tools they can use to help make them feel empowered in such a situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;You can help by doing. . . &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, &quot;You can be REALLy BIG helpers!  Staying quiet while we evacuate helps everyone be able to hear instructions.&quot; was one of the things we told the kids.  In the case of earthquakes we showed them they had the power to choose to be near a wall in the &quot;triangle of life&quot; and cover their heads to protect themselves.  We also had drills every so often.  Practiced behavior becomes automatic behavior, then, if she needs to get herself to a shelter for some reason, she can do that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stay Well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T00:09:47.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2120" CreationDate="2012-11-16T01:37:26.383" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think such behavior (against living things, not stuffed animals) should be treated very similarly to how a tantrum is treated.  Take it seriously, but don't respond with anger either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To Deal with the Symptom&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;&quot;Wow that really hurt mommy.  I think I need a little time to recover.  Please go to your room so I can have some space and feel safe.  You can come out when you are ready to say you are sorry.&quot;  Then don't give him any attention for the behavior until either he says sorry and/or a minute or two has passed and you are prepared for a follow-up discussion with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The follow up discussion would include listening and empathy for whatever it is he is trying to express, an expression from you about how much it hurt not just the area that was hit, but your heart because it hurt your feelings too, as well as some instruction in more constructive ways to express himself.  If he says he hit because it was fun.  Simply state it wasn't fun for you and this is a game you do not like.  Then move on.  Highly emotional reactions are stimulating to some kids so express a mild disappointment over it rather than anger or heavy emotion of any kind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also try reading the book, &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hands-are-not-for-hitting-martine-agassi/1102302672?cm_mmc=googlepla-_-book-_-q000000633-_-9781575422008&amp;amp;cm_mmca2=pla&amp;amp;ean=9781575422008&amp;amp;r=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hands are Not for Hitting&lt;/a&gt;&quot; together.  It is designed expressly for this purpose, is a board book, is simple and offers the child alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To Deal with the Cause&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Of course it is incredibly difficult to know what the root cause of such behavior is, but this really isn't &quot;normal&quot; two year old behavior.  In all the twos I've met having taught at a preschool, I only had two or three who thought hurting others was funny or a game of any sort.  Two of the Three were later diagnosed with behavioral/socio-emotional disorders.  The third, &quot;grew out of it&quot;, but he and his guardians and parent had some help from a psychiatrist too - there may have been more to it than I as the teacher was led to believe (he was bounced between homes a lot).  It is normal for a child to try out such behavior once or twice, but not for it to become a repetitively occurring problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, there are some things you can do to make sure your child's emotional needs are being met so you can rule out causes based in anger or stress he is experiencing over some need not having been met.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&#xA;Make sure each of your children gets alone time with each of you on a regular and predictable basis. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even though listening to the ramblings of a 2 1/2 year old can be tough, do it.  Make conversation, paraphrase when you can (i.e. &quot;so you mean. . . &quot;) and ask lots of clarifying questions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explore your child's interests with him.  What is he obsessed with right now?  Almost every kid has something at this age, cars? dinosaurs?  Learn about it with him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your children an important role in the household.  What contributions is he making.  Do each of your children know they contribute?  Do you say, &quot;thanks for the laugh&quot; or observe, &quot;Hey that was a helpful choice, thank you.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your children age appropriate and positive choices to make.  Don't overwhelm, keep it age appropriate, but offer up choices when you can.  For example, put out two outfits in the morning and let your child choose which one he would prefer to wear that day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These steps go a long way (even with two year olds) in developing self confidence, assurance that you respect the child for the child, practice with responsibility AND set an example of a parent that has faith and trust in his/her children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-16T13:00:49.360" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T13:00:49.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6565" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-16T05:37:26.310" Score="2" ViewCount="106" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby boy is 11 days old and the last 2 days has been feeding 5-6 hours apart and sleeping between. He feeds for about 10-15 min on each breast and sometimes takes up to an hour to get back to sleep. Should I be worried that he is not getting enough milk and too much sleep? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3441" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-07T19:28:55.223" LastActivityDate="2018-05-07T19:28:55.223" Title="Is my infant not feeding enough and sleeping too much?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2018-05-10T07:49:51.110" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6566" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-16T06:39:50.233" Score="2" ViewCount="5060" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to make sure that I do not set it too high or too low. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it sets too high a baby can have a bad walking habit because he walks on his toe. But if it's too low, it can cause his legs support too much of his weight. That's what I heard. Now, I set it on second step from three adjustable steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/RlZto.png&quot; alt=&quot;Now, I set it on second step from three adjustable steps.&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1474" LastActivityDate="2017-10-23T16:19:56.227" Title="How to set appropriate height for a baby saucer?" Tags="|infant|play-time|growth|walking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6566" CreationDate="2012-11-16T13:09:37.513" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The manufacturer's information should have instructions, but based on what I remember from ours, if you set it so his knees are slightly bent when he sits down in it and the seat part no longer supports him if he stands up, it should be good (photo looks like you've got it right).  I've also heard (from my sis whose baby just turned one) the toe thing is less of a concern than they thought a few years ago too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T13:09:37.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6565" CreationDate="2012-11-16T13:11:56.993" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This actually sounds fairly normal to me (they pretty much sleep the first couple of weeks), although the frequency of eating seems slightly lower than average.  Talk to your pediatrician.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also make it a habit to keep track of when and how much he is eating.  It is hard to keep track when breast feeding of exactly how much he is getting, but I would suggest keeping a log of how much (if you can) and how long (if you can't measure how much).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, my main suggestion is to just place a call to your ped's doc and ask the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T13:11:56.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="156" CreationDate="2012-11-16T13:32:09.550" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a BIG difference between sticking up for yourself, and talking back.  Sticking up for yourself uses &quot;I&quot; language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I don't like that&quot;,  &quot;Stop, I don't want this game&quot; . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back Talk is not generally something a three year old truly engages in yet as it is a &quot;game&quot; or a power play that requires a certain amount of wit and timing honestly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Steps to Take&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Deal with the fact that there are bullies at the school as best you&#xA;can (this should NOT be happening in a three's classroom (well, or&#xA;anywhere), but three's kids are NEVER alone.  Your kid needs help&#xA;with this one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach your child &quot;I messages&quot;.  Teach him to say his &quot;I messages&quot; loudly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Role play and practice what to do in a bullying situation.  You don't have to act out the bullying part, simply say, &quot;ok, so and so just came up to you and is doing something you do not like.  You say. . . &quot;  Then allow your child to practice, &quot;I don't like that&quot;.  Then say, &quot;what if he/she keeps at it?&quot; Then allow your child to practice saying it again AT THE TOP of HIS OR HER VOICE.  This SHOULD attract attention from the teachers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not treat &quot;I messages&quot; used with you as back talk.  He is learning a new skill.  Instead, respectfully paraphrase, &quot;I understand you don't like the car seat, but we do have to run errands and what is MOST important is that you stay safe.  The car seat keeps you safe.&quot;  If the &quot;I message&quot; is about something around which a compromise can be made, then make it.  Alice often didn't like her long sleeved-shirts because I bought plain ones thinking she could just wear them under he short-sleeved shirts.  This was uncomfortable for her and she didn't like the plainness of the shirts.  Obviously, there were times when she had to have long sleeves, so we got some stencils and fabric paints and she decorated them.  I never bought plain ones again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2018-05-17T19:12:19.860" LastActivityDate="2018-05-17T19:12:19.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="974" CreationDate="2012-11-16T13:50:03.500" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, as a former teacher, in regard to the chaperoning situation I would say, When you are the chaperone your rule rules.  Before going, everyone should be clear about what the rules and expectations are, but &quot;when in Rome&quot; applies here.  If you use corporal punishment (which, based on other postings here I doubt, but if you do, make sure other parents know it before they agree to send their child with you).  Then, deal with it how you deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In regard to other situations&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;My daughter has two older cousins that are, shall we say &quot;undisciplined&quot; so it was especially tricky.  The cousins are by-way of an in-law and her parenting style at family functions at least is pretty much &quot;leave well enough alone.&quot;  She let her two year old slap the newborn all the time when the second one was an infant and said, &quot;Well she is expressing her frustration about the disturbance the baby has made in her life.&quot;  Obviously, talking to the parent wasn't a real option for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This is how I dealt with it&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I personally try to model the idea that everyone is different and does things differently.  &quot;Well that mommy has a different rule than I do.&quot;  Period.  I might privately discuss it later with my child so she understands what I value that makes the rules for me different (at six, she definitely gets this, at three it was a little tougher, but not as much as one might think).  Obviously, with the cousins, I have to be careful to explain without getting critical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You CAN help your child learn how to care for themselves somewhat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right off the bat, I taught Alice &quot;I messages&quot; so she could stick up for herself (to some extent).  She could YELL LOUDLY, &quot;I don't like that!  Stop. I don't want to. . . &quot;  This is just a good safety device in general for kids to use with &quot;tricky people&quot; formerly known as strangers that want them to go somewhere without guardian AND with schoolyard bullies because it draws attention.  When Alice said something like this, I could intervene with it being incredibly obvious why I was intervening to everyone around.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, if I hadn't seen what happened, I asked.  I let both kids tell me their side of the story.  This gave me great information to use with my daughter later if we needed a follow up discussion - either about different choices she could make to help herself out of a situation sooner, or about different choices she could make altogether (like sharing nicely).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it was bullying or some other kind of behavior like that and a parent wasn't around (or responding) to the negative behavior, I simply repeated my daughter's statements to the child in question if the behavior wasn't already stopping, &quot;Hey, She said she doesn't like that.  You need to stop.&quot;  If I needed to, I removed my daughter from the situation and found something else that was fun for her to do in another space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dealing with &quot;Its not Fair&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of the &quot;its not fairs&quot; in life that crop up as a related issue, I simply respond with &quot;fair is a place we go to see farm animals, ride rides and eat cotton candy.&quot;  What is &quot;fair&quot; is not always what is equal and &quot;fair&quot; doesn't generally exist in life most of the time anyway.  I listen to Alice's feelings about something first, empathize and if there is an area where a compromise can be made, I'll make it, but, at different ages I have also offered up different examples of how &quot;fair&quot; doesn't really matter and isn't realistic to attain.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example I used recently went something like this, &quot;well, Will it be fair for them when they move out of their house and don't know how to do chores to keep it clean and cared for? - Ok, now go pick up your toys. and then come back and you'll need to do one household chore with me.  That one was critical of the other, but it is really the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Finally, I'm going to add this, because I originally forgot to address the question of Other kids being a poor example:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My attitude with Alice (and with my former students) was - &quot;The wrong others do doesn't make your wrongs less wrong.&quot;  Alice knows she expected to stand out in the crowd as the leader who makes the right choice and sets the example for good behavior.  I simply won't tolerate less.  She also knows that she can come to me&#xA;and ask for help, advice, feedback etc. without me being angry with her or judgemental about her not knowing what to do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:03:36.893" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:03:36.893" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6571" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6572" CreationDate="2012-11-16T13:51:19.500" Score="3" ViewCount="7653" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has had a couple of bouts of constipation, and they're pretty unpleasant for the whole family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time he was up all night, every hour, crying inconsolably.  We had no idea what the problem was until we could get to the pediatrician.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we worry about constipation whenever he cries in the middle of the night, even if he had a bowel movement earlier that evening.  Sometimes the crying is simply from a bad dream, but a couple of times it has been due to other (less severe) bouts of constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from &quot;waking up in the middle of the night and crying&quot;, how can you tell when a toddler is constipated before he can fully verbalize the problem?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the best ways of relieving constipation once it becomes an issue, and how can you help avoid it altogether?  We know of another child my son's age (2) that has had near-constant constipation issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2017-08-18T21:49:01.040" Title="How do you identify/relieve/prevent constipation in toddlers?" Tags="|toddler|health|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6571" CreationDate="2012-11-16T13:58:41.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a history of food allergies in your family? It could be a result of dairy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he getting plenty of water? Juice has a TON of sugar and could be heavily diluted to add a bit of flavor if this is an issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best way to help him communicate this is to identify it for him. When you figure out whats wrong, give him the words you want him to use when he has that feeling. Gas is incredibly painful! But toddlers are notorious for being not very good at differentiating different pains or being able to communicate where it is from. It will take lots of practice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could you call a nurses hotline specifically for how to help prevent it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T13:58:41.010" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6573" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6580" CreationDate="2012-11-16T14:02:47.360" Score="6" ViewCount="14336" Body="&lt;p&gt;We don't generally tell my son to be quiet, as it's rarely necessary (despite his being extremely vocal).  We want to encourage communication and his ability to express himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are times where it isn't appropriate for him to be as loud as he can be while playing, or even while telling us stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try to avoid restaurants that aren't obviously &quot;kid friendly&quot;, although he is well-behaved enough that we generally have some leniency in that regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, his volume sometimes does become an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to understand when we tell him he's being too loud, and needs to keep his voice down, but it only lasts a minute or two, and then his volume goes right back up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we teach him about &quot;indoor&quot; and &quot;outdoor&quot; voices, and get him to control his volume when appropriate (preferably without being told more than once or twice per occasion)?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-09T12:06:22.020" LastActivityDate="2019-07-09T12:06:22.020" Title="How and when can you teach a child to use an &quot;indoor voice&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|teaching|noise|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6573" CreationDate="2012-11-16T14:12:07.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is your 2 year old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Ooh that hurts my ears when you yell. Could you ask me again quieter so I can hear you better?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a while of this, get him to brainstorm/practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Ooh too loud, what would help me hear you better?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, I think you can start using &quot;inside/outside voice&quot; - that's probably what he'll hear in preschool/school. &quot;We are inside, let's use an inside voice.&quot; You can practice at home. Sounds silly, but experiential learning through role play is very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always use &quot;bugs and wishes&quot; that I described in a different question. First teach him how to use it, then have it become part of your family's language:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get a picture or toy of a bug (ladybug, etc) and a picture or toy of a wand. Role play (and practice, practice, practice) using the bug and wand holding each up in turn:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;It bugs me when you __ and I wish you would _ instead&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is basically an i-statement for little kids. It works wonders! After some time practicing this in your home. Let him use the props to remind him of the words. After he's comfortable with this part of it, introduce the next stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When somebody uses bugs and wishes, the options for response are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm sorry&quot; &quot;I didn't know&quot; &quot;I'll stop&quot; &quot;I'll do that instead&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's it. He/you/whoever gets to choose one of these in return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This teaches him how to express feelings of frustration/anger appropriately and gives him the words to actually do so (without just saying &quot;use your words&quot;). When he is frustrated at someone, prompt him and ask &quot;Would you like to use bugs and wishes?&quot; This is a tool he will be able to use for life!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T14:12:07.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5919" CreationDate="2012-11-16T14:18:19.033" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend Anabel Karmel's books.  She is the food editor (or was for a time at least) at Parenting Magazine and has published numerous cookbooks for parents.  The one I had, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;keywords=first%20meals%20annabel%20karmel&amp;amp;tag=googhydr-20&amp;amp;index=aps&amp;amp;hvadid=1166182181&amp;amp;hvpos=1t1&amp;amp;hvexid=&amp;amp;hvnetw=g&amp;amp;hvrand=12369497952129157908&amp;amp;hvpone=&amp;amp;hvptwo=&amp;amp;hvqmt=b&amp;amp;ref=pd_sl_4gwaxaxhwq_b&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;First Meals&lt;/a&gt;, is now with my sister and was already worn and loved and used when I gave it to her recently.  It had all kinds of recipes for a variety of ages and situations as well as nutritional advice and &quot;do's and don'ts&quot;  Things change, I know, but she is always publishing so it seems updates are available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician was also helpful when we first began with fliers and all kinds of info when Alice was an infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T14:18:19.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3426" CreationDate="2012-11-16T14:42:38.930" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many four year old's speak incessantly at this age- even when they DO get all the attention.  There isn't a lot to be done about it.  Having said that, mine was the same way and here is what we did to help us adults maintain our sanity amongst it all:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure he gets social time with friends&lt;/strong&gt; - for us that was time in theater classes and plays.  Try to get him involved in things he does because he loves them.  For some it might be time at a pre-school or involved in a sport. The activity time is much more of a time-off from listening for you than a stopping him from talking incessantly measure - he will have stories to tell you about her social time when you do hook back up.  If you can get a family member or even trusted teen to take him to his activities that will make this &quot;time off&quot; even more valuable for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make time to listen to his stories&lt;/strong&gt; -  We had family meals where we specifically asked about Alice's day, what she had done and learned, what was the low-light, what was the highlight etc.  She knew this time would come and that we would listen, paraphrase, ask clarifying questions and summarize (ways to show you really are listening) when it did come.  I also did this in the car with her between activities for a few minutes after each activity, at the end of the day before bed for about ten minutes, and at the beginning of the day I always asked about her dreams.  There were also plenty of &quot;unplanned times&quot; that I listened too.  A sister with Cerebral Palsy adds a big complication to this, but it is still important that the time be given.  Perhaps you and your partner can take turns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stress turn-taking&lt;/strong&gt; - we listened well to her during those tale conversations, but she was expected to do the same for her parents as well.  Everyone got a turn AND modeled good listening.  This will probably be especially helpful in your house.  When the sister's needs are overtaking his, perhaps he can write a reminder note (it doesn't have to be legible) to give you that there was something he needed that he is waiting on.  If he trusts you will get to his need too, he can certainly learn that someone else is having a turn right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teach &quot;needs of others&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; - Because I knew I made plenty of time to listen to her throughout the day, was connected and made time for fun activities, reading books and other things, I felt no guilt or remorse about giving her a request for quiet at times too.  &quot;I am a person that needs quiet time everyday to recharge my energy - it is like charging batteries for me.  Can you give me a little of that time right now?  I need about five minutes.&quot;  Obviously, for you guys, needs of others is a big lesson being learned anyway, the thing to be careful about is that his needs are important too, but that everyone needs things and not everyone's needs are equal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Incorporate Quiet Time into your Day&lt;/strong&gt; - he may not need a nap any longer, but he can still have &quot;quiet time&quot;.  Alice had about 30-45 minutes of this everyday.  This was time for a nap if one wanted one, reading, doing mazes (she liked mazes a lot so this was her activity).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your specific circumstances it might also help if your son can take an active roll in attending to his sister's needs as well.  You may find he is a great help and that his sense of self worth and confidence grows with his sense of responsibility.  If he can tell you stories and talk about thing WHILE you are both helping his sister, you've been able to do something wonderful for both your kids at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also hope you have some help so you can still get some time off for yourself and aren't forgetting to take care of yourself too.  We are never at our best as parents if we can't care for our own needs too.  Especially in your stressful situation, I'd imagine you need this time and space more than most.  Is there a family member nearby or a local church group that can help in providing both of you some time to yourselves - even together to yourselves once in awhile?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know where you are located or how it all works, not having faced the challenge you face, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsn.info/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this link&lt;/a&gt; will take you to the Cerebral Palsy Support Network which may be able to provide some support, ideas or other assistance.  If not, maybe there is a similar network that CAN apply for you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Isn't it funny how we strive for that first word, listen for it, cheer it on and are SO excited when they start talking and then immediately start reminiscing about the days when the talking stopped once in awhile?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-20T20:51:46.537" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T20:51:46.537" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6577" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-16T16:18:27.047" Score="18" ViewCount="17884" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old is like I am: she &lt;strong&gt;hates&lt;/strong&gt; to wake up. I completely empathize with her, and I have horrible memories of screaming battles with my parents waking me up for school. How should I go about waking her up for school in the morning? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It used to be really easy, I'd simply go in the room, turn on the light, and say &quot;good morning&quot;. It slowly got more difficult, and is now to the point where she simply covers her head with the blanket and shouts &quot;no thank you!&quot; or &quot;go away&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing I was thinking was that she simply wasn't getting enough sleep. But, like me, enough is never enough. I can easily sleep 13 hours straight and she will too, which unfortunately doesn't work in the real world (yes, I've talked to our Doctor and ruled out medical issues). Even on days when we can get her to go to sleep early, she still is ridiculously difficult to get up in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any help the community can provide on effective ways to wake my 4-year-old up in the morning would be awesome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2773" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-27T12:25:08.217" LastActivityDate="2019-08-27T12:25:08.217" Title="How should I wake up my 4-year-old in the morning?" Tags="|pre-schooler|bedtime|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6577" CreationDate="2012-11-16T17:25:20.727" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was always a morning riser myself, but my daughter and husband are definitely NOT!  What I did was to create a morning routine for her in music.  The first song is &quot;here comes the sun&quot; by the Beatles and the next is &quot;I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night.&quot;  The music itself doesn't always wake her, so I'll go in and give her a kiss on the cheek, a soft but firm rub on the back or arm and say, &quot;good morning&quot; if I don't hear any movement a few minutes into the first song.  Each song has a task that goes with it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first two songs are her &quot;wake up and stretch songs.&quot;  This gives her a time limit AND time and space to wake up and get herself in a better mood.  The Third Song is &quot;Ants in my Pants.&quot;  By the time it is over she is supposed to be dressed and moving onto getting her hair brushed to Disney's Rapunzel's theme song.  At the end of this song, I pause the music, check her hair-brushing job and we have breakfast.  After breakfast, I push play again and there are songs for brushing teeth, flossing,  etc.  It has worked really well for us.  I don't have to nag, she knows what she has to do and how long she has to do it AND it keeps her focused. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just for waking up, a soft, but cheerful song followed by a slightly faster beat song that is also up-beat and maybe a little louder might make a difference all by itself.  You don't really need the entire routine, but I find it helps all of us stay in a better mood because I am not chasing her down and refocusing her every 30 seconds.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To learn the routine of course, took a little while, practice, monitoring and patience, but now that she's got it down, I'm SO GLAD I BOTHERED to do it! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually did the same thing for her bedtime routine: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6345/2876&quot;&gt;click here for more&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;I LOVE my ipod and ipod alarm clock dock we put in her room for this purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T00:43:37.050" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6579" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6584" CreationDate="2012-11-16T17:48:53.343" Score="14" ViewCount="9399" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is now 6. He is &quot;going potty&quot; entirely on his own at home and escorted but directly unsupervised in public.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our problem is that he will almost never remember to flush. This is something we routinely tell him. Even after going we will ask him, &quot;Did you flush?&quot; Sometimes he'll answer falsely; eventually he'll say, &quot;Whoops&quot; and then run back to flush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not like he doesn't understand the concept of flushing. It isn't like he's doing this maliciously. He just simply isn't connecting the concept of &quot;Potty then flush&quot; in his head. As soon as he's done he's gone. (And yes... the problem is indeed: Potty, Flush, Wash)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would prefer not to make it a punishment because all the &quot;Touchy-feely&quot; books are rather direct about not turning the bathroom process into a trauma experience. (note: I like the softer parenting using discussion, logic and examples; but am not afraid to be stern, strong, or loud when the situation calls)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I'm looking for two things: 1) Is this normal/phase/takes care of itself  and 2) What can I do to improve the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My obvious motivation for this is working from home today in my office, going to the restroom and finding yet another unflushed toilet that has been sitting since the little one left for school at 7am. Ugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-09T15:36:44.697" LastActivityDate="2020-04-13T08:05:52.247" Title="How do I get my child to remember to flush?" Tags="|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|hygiene|habits|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6573" CreationDate="2012-11-16T17:58:35.660" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This one requires consistency and patience, but I encourage you to take him out and expose him to as many different environments as you can.  Kids can distinguish different environments and connect to the idea that different environments require different behaviors at a very young age.  Many kids your boy's age that are bi and tri-lingual can distinguish who to use which language with even amongst strangers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is really just a matter of consistently giving him the necessary feedback as needed.  It doesn't have to be discouraging or disrespectful, and he will forget and need reminders (he is two and they have a short attention span AND memory at this point).  Now is a GREAT TIME TO START.  The sooner the better actually, you never know when you'll wind up on a plane full of passengers, at a funeral or roped into a restaurant experience with extended family for example, when he'll need to know how to moderate his voice and actions to fit the occasion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would avoid using inside/outside voice exclusively.  These are great descriptors, but you might couple them with quiet, soft, and loud as well.  Our voice level is actually on a continuum and he will need to know a range of voices he can use.  Softer and Louder are great vocabulary to use.  In services (like weddings, church and funerals) he needs to know how to say nothing at all or whisper very softly.  At restaurants he needs to know how to speak in a soft voice, at home his normal voice is fine indoors or outdoors and at the playground or arcade (such as CHuckee Cheese's) Loud voices are okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To Introduce the Concept&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;You might try reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias=aps&amp;amp;field-keywords=Loud%20and%20Soft%20Children%27s%20Board%20Book&amp;amp;rh=i%3aaps,k%3aLoud%20and%20Soft%20Children%27s%20Board%20Book&amp;amp;ajr=0&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this really fun book&lt;/a&gt; all about quiet things and loud things as an opener for talking about times and places for different kinds of voices.  It is a board book and has things like, &quot;mommy's shoes are loud&quot; opposing a page that says, &quot;slippers are quiet.&quot;  I read it with a quiet voice contrasting with a loud voice depending on the page we were on.  Then, we talked about it.  &quot;Can you think of places where you need to be quiet?&quot;  followed by &quot;Can you think of places or times when you have to be silent?&quot;  AND the opposing, &quot;Can you think of places or times when you need to be loud?&quot;  You can even talk about how kids with baby brothers and sisters have to use a quiet voice while the baby sleeps, even if they can use a loud voice the rest of the time  (this way it isn't only about location, but also events and circumstances).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are going to an event, or public space with specific social more's, expose him with the proper preparation on your part.  Prior preparation can and should include practice at home.  Start the day with a description about what to expect and a little practice about what kind of voice is needed at said location.  &quot;Okay honey today we will be at &lt;strong&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;.  This place is a 'soft voice' kind of place.&quot; Then include a reminder just before arrival.  If he needs reminders while you are at said location, just a quick, &quot;soft voice remember?&quot; will generally be all he needs.  Same thing at home with &quot;inside and outside voice.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is doing a good job.  Make sure to observe it from time to time.  &quot;I really appreciate the voice level you are using.  You seem to have been trying to match your voice level to the occasion/location&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are going out, you'll also want to be prepared with activities to help him stay busy, distracted and engaged.  For example, feel free to take him to &quot;adult restaurants because this will allow him the experience so he knows what to expect and how to behave.  If he doesn't learn it now, he still has to learn it, he'll just be older when he does (and &quot;bad behavior&quot; that is really naive behavior will just be that much more embarassing.  &lt;strong&gt;BUT&lt;/strong&gt;, bring some crayons, a favorite coloring book, a fidget sort of toy and a favorite book because it is a lot to expect for a kid to sit and do nothing quietly.  By being there he is gaining the opportunity to learn from watching you though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-16T18:31:37.363" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T18:31:37.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6571" CreationDate="2012-11-16T18:50:53.230" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Christine has already made some good points but I thought I'd add a couple more ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a student who at two, had two servings of prune juice every day, a &lt;strong&gt;great&lt;/strong&gt; diet fully of healthful things and LOTS of fiber and he still had trouble.  Unfortunately, some kids struggle with this one and you should &lt;strong&gt;definitely&lt;/strong&gt; keep communicating with your pediatrician about it.  When the pediatrician prescribed mirilax, it made a  HUGE difference for the little man, AND potty training was suddenly easier too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alice had a lot of trouble up until she was about two and a half.  We used &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5481/2876&quot;&gt;This method&lt;/a&gt; Link is to another question to help her pass the gas and get the other stuff moving along.  If your son will let you do this &quot;half moon&quot; method (its totally hippie-granola kid yoga stuff, but if it works, it works) it may at least help with the gas - even at this age.  If he doesn't like it, stick with the tummy rubs Christine Mentions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if there is no history of allergies, allergies are on the rise, you may want to keep a food journal along with notes about his &quot;movements&quot; and seeming comfort/discomfort levels for a few weeks to see if you can divine any patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My whole family is sensitive to dairy and though only my sister is lactose intolerant we all have troubles if we eat or drink a lot of it, or eat it too regularly (1/3 kids actually has a dairy sensitivity - though it is less in white communities) so Christine is right on the money to bring this up as a question - especially since you mention that he drinks a lot of it.  Try a week without it and see if it helps.  There are TOnS of wonderful replacement drinks that still offer Calcium and Vitamin D is easy to get access to as a supplement.  OF COURSE talk to your Pediatrician about it, but seems worth it just to knock it off the list and be sure it isn't a problem with dairy to me.  Removing dairy for a week will not hurt and if it helps, then you've won an answer to your problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T20:35:55.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6579" CreationDate="2012-11-16T18:56:52.243" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, this is normal and yes, in large part it will take care of itself (but you might even revisit it again when he is between ten and 13 during the pre-adolescent stage too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To improve the situation, keep doing what you are doing.  Also, NEVER flush for him (unless he is going to be gone for a few more hours).  If you go in to use the bathroom yourself and he is in the middle of something cool at home and his cool stuff is interrupted by, &quot;Ewww!  Someone forgot to flush&quot;  (just don't make it a tone that is harsh and it will feel like a reminder rather than a punishment) And he has to come flush the toilet, then wash his hands again (he did touch the toilet again) before he can get back to his activity, it won't take too many times for him to realize it is just more efficient to take care of it right away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-16T19:50:15.823" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T19:50:15.823" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2862" CreationDate="2012-11-16T19:07:55.283" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another resources for ideas and advocacy is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;La Leche League&lt;/a&gt;.  This is a group of women who offer support, education and all kinds of ideas for a variety of nursing &quot;problems&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T19:07:55.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6579" CreationDate="2012-11-16T19:57:16.170" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to @Balanced Mama's answer, you can also start a conversation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you often forget to flush the toilet. It really bugs me because it's gross when I have to use the bathroom. So this is not working for me. What would help you remember?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have him brainstorm. Maybe he wants to make a 'remember to flush' sign for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FYI, &quot;the softer parenting using discussion, logic and examples; but am not afraid to be stern, strong, or loud when the situation calls&quot; is Positive Discipline to me and you may want to check it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T19:57:16.170" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3426" CreationDate="2012-11-16T20:01:27.550" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So in addition to the other answers, I think it is a &lt;strong&gt;big deal&lt;/strong&gt; to have a sibling with special needs. After some research, my Positive Discipline peers are recommending the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aisha Pope's children's book called &quot;My Brother, Autism, and Me&quot; which tells the story from the child's perspective of having a sibling with special needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll update when I get more info.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book apparently has info and strategies for the parents as well so maybe this would be helpful to the OP&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-20T00:44:00.647" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T00:44:00.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6586" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6588" CreationDate="2012-11-16T20:09:20.893" Score="2" ViewCount="208" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a child that has no problem with figuring out math facts for addition and subtraction up to and below 100, but she finds the process somewhat boring.  I was hoping for suggestions from some better math experts than I, about fun ways to practice facts for quicker operations and memorization of key facts like doubles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of an answer below, it seems this clarification would be good to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is still pretty slow and &quot;counting it out&quot; but hasn't crossed that threshold of really understanding how to reorder problems and Use symmetrical problems (also referred to as, fact families). I'm hoping for &quot;fun&quot; ideas to have her practice these while she builds familiarity and makes these critical connections. She is just starting to get the idea of rounding up to the nearest ten from nines and then calculating back as needed, she hasn't made the same connection for eights yet.  I think she sees it as boring because at this time it is mostly just counting for her, not because she is quick and totally gets the ins and outs of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have taught her a version of solitare that requires adding to ten in order to &quot;get rid&quot; of cards from the field and we have taken to playing cribbage together.  We regularly play monopoly Jr. and make her the banker.  I want ways to give her more practice that don't feel like drilling as well as techniques for helping to point out connections for her in understandable ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any Ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-26T18:20:46.427" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T18:20:46.427" Title="Math Encouragement Activities" Tags="|education|primary-schooler|math|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6577" CreationDate="2012-11-16T23:12:11.280" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're making getting going in the morning your problem, not your child's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My children didn't want to get up of a morning, and that led to being late.  Then I realised I didn't need them to get up, I needed them ready to leave the house.  With that realisation I decided they only needed to be dressed to leave the house, so if they weren't climbing out of bed at the right time I dressed them in bed and returned them under the covers. Over time - weeks - they got up and dressed themselves of their own volition. Perhaps they didn't like my clothing choices?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're not allowed to eat breakfast if they're not dressed, and we leave the house at leaving time, regardless the completion status of breakfast.  Once everyone's finished breakfast, the TV/computer games can go on, because we're operating on free time at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also had some luck with luring them out of bed with the sound of their favourite show running on the TV, but that doesn't get them dressed, nor eating breakfast, and turning it off once they're staring gape-jawed at it is... problematic, producing vocal objection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastActivityDate="2012-11-16T23:12:11.280" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6586" CreationDate="2012-11-16T23:26:48.623" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You child has mastered a skill and finds it boring? Don't ask her to do drill on that skill, do something she'll find challenging, even if it's outside of her current curriculum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, addition and subtraction are used all around us; when you go shopping, ask what change you should expect.  Ask what notes and coins the change will come in (best representation), and what it could come in (combinations, permutations and equivalents). When baking, ask how much the mix will weigh after we add this next ingredient (a lot more definitive with a digital scale).  Ask how much more we should add to get to a target weight.  Start asking division and multiplication questions, like how many eggs are in a half-dozen, two half-dozens? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time is another real-world addition and subtraction domain, but kids don't have a strong feeling for time - a moment, a few minutes, half an hour are all equal in length to a child (I suspect they all mean &quot;an interminable delay&quot;). Playing with a digital timer (you might find one on a microwave oven, a phone or a computer) is fascinating for kids, and helps given them a sense that there's a relationship between the magnitude of a number and the passage of time.  You can ask questions about &quot;what time will it be five minutes from now?&quot; and &quot;We're leaving at 8:45, how long have you got for watching TV? Is that long enough for an episode of Batman?&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest has shown similar tenancies, and he found symmetry questions challenging: I'd ask what 17+2 is, and after a pause he'd give the right answer; I'd then ask for 2+17 and there'd be a longer pause.  I kept asking questions of this format, and it took him a long, long time to realise that there was that symmetrical relationship.  Note that I didn't point out the symmetry - I thought I was being pretty darn obvious just butting the questions up against each other, and discoveries that you make by yourself stick so much deeper than something that someone tells (or shows) you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Multiplication is repeated addition, so questions like 11+11, 2x11, 11+11+11, 3x11, 11+11+11+11, 4x11 might light up realisation... but it might not.  It also provides an opportunity to partition problems (11+11+11+11 == 11+11 + 11+11, which we solved earlier) and notice patterns (like the 11+ questions are really 1+ questions with the digits doubled up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I've noticed in my younger child is that he progressed fairly quickly from counting to &quot;knowing&quot;, and I saw this when he was playing with (a computer game that featured) dice with pips.  Extrapolating from this, I suggest playing some dice games with a couple of dice with pips, then - after she moves from counting to 'seeing' the numbers - to dice with digits.  This will give her practice with numbers less than 7; you can also get dice with 10 faces (at hobby shops, or widely available online, search for &quot;10-sided die&quot;, I've only ever seen them with numerals) and more. If you make whatever game you invent about getting the answer quickly, there'll be motivation to step up from counting to memorised relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boardgames often offer counting opportunities; snakes and ladders can be played by counting out the moves (1, 2, 3, 4) or by actually doing the maths and then moving (13 plus four is 17).  We found &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monopoly_Junior&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Monopoly Junior&lt;/a&gt; a good teaching aid for a while, but the maths quickly moves from challenging to routine, but it does provide a grounding for moving up to Monopoly which uses larger numbers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T00:56:00.900" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T00:56:00.900" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2299" CreationDate="2012-11-17T00:02:24.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to remember that utility trumps most considerations.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the bag is too small to carry everything needed then it's an inappropriate tool for the job; a lunchbox, a warm jacket, a reader, a hat and scarf aren't &lt;em&gt;heavy&lt;/em&gt;, but they are &lt;em&gt;bulky&lt;/em&gt;. A small bag may be too small to contain the dimensions of your child's reader without folding it, which will make you unpopular with the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the bag has wheels, remember that you child is going to be walking to and from school hundreds of times a year, so investigate the repairability/replacability of the wheels; a wheeled bag that doesn't roll is still a bag, but probably one that doesn't work anywhere near as well as a backpack.  If you're not walking to school, what does it matter?  A kid can lug any random bag 10 metres to the car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our school sells a school-branded bag, and its design seems influenced by the demands placed on it by the school.  It seemed stupidly large when we first bought it, but it's got all the compartments that are helpful for storing things securely, and a few extra pockets here and there suitable for things like handkerchiefs, spectacles, dice (don't ask) and drink bottles.  If your school does the same thing, it could well be worth your while to acquire one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2012-11-17T00:08:48.647" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T00:08:48.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1550" CreationDate="2012-11-17T00:42:43.263" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former sex-ed teacher (I don't know why the Science and PE teachers are ALWAYS relegated to this job, I would also add to some of the already wonderful and complete answers, that a lot of kids these days do not consider oral sex a form of sex.  As awkward as it may be to discuss - do it bring it up.  Even this form of sex requires certain protections and considerations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to HOW to talk about these things (because you also ask about that), I think you just bite the bullet and talk about it.  It will be awkward and strange at first so acknowledge the elephant in the room and talk about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll never forget the day my Dad said to me as I moved into High School, &quot;Honey this is going to feel weird to discuss with me - I'm already feeling nervous about it myself, but I love you and I'm not so ancient I don't know many kids have sex in High school&quot; He continued with, &quot;I love you enough to say that while I'd like to think your first time will be when you're are married I want you to know I'd rather you come ask me about Birth control than about what to do after you are sick or pregnant because I love you&quot;  It was strange and awkward, but I know and knew then how hard it was for him which made me feel all the more loved and trusted frankly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1590/2876&quot;&gt;This answer&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1554/2876&quot;&gt;This answer&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1555/2876&quot;&gt;This answer&lt;/a&gt; all look great to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T00:42:43.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1249" CreationDate="2012-11-17T00:56:40.877" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wiping the gums with a bit of gauze before teeth have even popped out is recommended by my hygienist because bacteria can build up on the gums.  It also gets them used to the sensation of having something in their mouth right away making brushing easier later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She says they make tools for this task, but they need disinfecting right away if you buy the tool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T00:56:40.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5847" CreationDate="2012-11-17T01:00:09.283" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always told my little one, all animals have their place in the grander ecology of Earth, the place for spiders, mice, rats, etc. is NOT in MY HOUSE because they are wild and carry dirt and diseases and because they belong out in the wild.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also tried to use catch and re-release methods for most things and do preventative things like ant and spider guard borders around the house rather than catch, kill or poison methods after they are already in (mostly because mouse traps and poisons will often hurt small children too so it was safer to do things this way anyway - although when those have been necessary, I just kept them on the down-low and way out of her reach until she was a little older).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For safety reasons, it makes a lot of sense to differentiate between pets and wild animals in general.  I explained to Alice, wild animals will not want to be petted and played with simply because it scares them.  When animals are scared, they can do dangerous and hurtful things like bite and scratch when cornered so it is generally best to watch all animals we don't know from a distance.  Even some dogs and cats are wild or shy and unless we already know the animal it can be hard to tell from a distance.  If it is wild we should stay further away anyway and even if it is a strange dog or cat, there are special ways to approach them anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-18T21:35:21.593" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:35:21.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="161" CreationDate="2012-11-17T03:30:48.717" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our children were both in toddler beds from the day they were born.  The youngest has shown a small propensity to get out of bed after bedtime, but he:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;understands he's not meant to;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;does it only once a fortnight or so, and increasingly infrequently; and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is quickly and directly returned to his room when he does it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, from my experience there's certainly no &quot;too soon&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T03:30:48.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2012-11-17T09:48:12.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we decided it would be a good idea to have kids, we did lots of reading, and other research.  The standard things turned up, all listed by JBRWilkinson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of all the books we read, the one unexpected and striking thing turned up in a book by &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Winston&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Robert Winston&lt;/a&gt;, which I believe was in &lt;em&gt;Getting Pregnant: A Guide to Infertility&lt;/em&gt;, but as it was a borrowed book I can't go back and verify.  We knew Winston as a TV presenter, but it turns out he was a pioneering researcher in the IVF field, who related fascinating stories about the battle to increase the viability rate of embryos (like noticing a sudden drop in viability, and tracing the cause back to repainting of the hospital - in another wing!).  But I digress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The unexpected thing was a graph.  It plotted on one axis how often the couple had sex in a month; on the other axis was how long it took them to conceive.  It was dramatic, the relationship was clear: lots of sex and you get babies quickly.  The discussion accompanying the graph said that timing ovulation cycles wasn't &lt;em&gt;anywhere near&lt;/em&gt; as helpful as frequent copulation.  I'm sure you're insightful enough to determine the various contributing factors to that increased success rate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That sounded great, and at first, it was - but it quickly became like a death-march. Baby-making sex is no fun. Based on my experience and the graph, my suggestion to increase your chances of conceiving is: &lt;strong&gt;make sex more fun&lt;/strong&gt;.  When sex is more fun, you'll have more and get a baby quicker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to remember that unlike the data from which Winston's graph was derived, my anecdote is not data, but we did conceive immediately - following all of JBRWilkinson's points (excluding the timing-related ones), and going on our death-march. We'd also decided that no kids wasn't going to be a deal-breaker, so we weren't emotionally vested in falling pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T09:48:12.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6579" CreationDate="2012-11-17T10:11:08.810" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For our youngest we also used a reward system, as when she was 5 she would do exactly this. She was just in too much of a hurry to go and play with her siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we draw a chart with her; think it ended up being a princess castle with 20 steps - and it went up on the door. Every time she remembered to flush and wash without being reminded, she would get to colour in another step, and once she got to the top she got to colour in the entire castle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just needed to give her a reward that was slightly better than the immediate reward of going to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 22 days (I think she missed 2) it was automatic. And she was delighted to colour in the picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T10:11:08.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6596" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6602" CreationDate="2012-11-17T15:36:41.883" Score="4" ViewCount="523" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has started just leaving things where she stands - things like food wrappers and orange peels.  I have pretty much treated it as I would remembering to the flush the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started by explaining why this is a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've consistently and patiently reminded her - and don't clean it up for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've asked her for ideas she felt would help her remember (she didn't offer up anything other than, &quot;I just need to remember, Mommy - I'll try harder.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, I set a better example then that and clean up after myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the past, things like this (toilet flushing, hand washing, turning off lights, etc. have come and gone and this method works and by the time a few weeks to a month has passed she has either outgrown the &quot;forgetfulness&quot; or learned what she needed to and we've moved on.  For some reason, this particular habit has had a staying power the others have not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I Do NOT WANT ideas for PUNISHMENTS please - no suggestions of spanking or smacking . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay.  She finally grew through it.  Seriously, I didn't change a thing and all of a sudden, not a problem for the last two days.  She even dropped a bag of flour that burst open in the kitchen tonight and when her dad started sweeping (because I was stir frying) she said, &quot;Daddy, I should be responsible for that.  I spilled it.&quot;  and helped him sweep it up.  She also gathered up her stuff at the theater quite nicely Sat. night AND hasn't left any sort of wrapper or food sitting anywhere it shouldn't be all weekend.  She even cleared her DAD's dinner dishes tonight (Monday) for him.  Go figure!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-20T04:01:51.747" LastActivityDate="2012-11-21T13:36:18.227" Title="How to deal with a &quot;litter bug&quot;" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|cleaning|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5274" CreationDate="2012-11-17T16:10:23.053" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read up on this technique when my little one was still a &quot;BUN in the oven&quot; and despite finding info pretty much congruent with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5293/2876&quot;&gt;BEOFett's answer&lt;/a&gt;, I decided that in terms of the maternal relationship aspect as well as some of the other POSSIBLE benefits, it was worth it for me to learn how and massage her some myself because it couldn't hurt - but I also didn't spend a bunch of money on it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She hated it!  She hated massage by anyone who did it (even a ped's nurse I know).  She still doesn't like any sort of massage even though she is six and highly active.  Very light circles on her back at bed time are about all she can handle (THAT she likes - sometimes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite this, she and I have a very good relationship, she is active, healthy and has good muscle tone, AND was never behind on physical, emotional  or academic skills in anyway.  I think it is one of those &quot;don't sweat the small stuff&quot; things.  Try it, but don't go into debt over it, if it works for you great but don't worry about it if it doesn't work for you.  You child will probably be just fine either way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T16:10:23.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2012-11-17T16:42:11.323" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think kids should ever be ENCOURAGED to swear, but I do think some space needs to be made to allow for an occasional curse word.  As a middle school teacher I had to figure out how to handle this question with my students in a way that would be appropriate for the classroom and allow room for kids from a variety of backgrounds coming from a variety of expectations in the home.  I have found the answer I used with them to suit very nicely at home with my own child as well.  I always told my students they would sound more intelligent and have more success if they used a wide-ranging vocabulary and used it in a precise manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They were always surprised to hear me say, &quot;Profanity actually has its place or it wouldn't exist.&quot; the less surprising part was what I said next, &quot;However, profanity when used frequently or in the wrong context actually makes a person look less intelligent.&quot;  The kids knew I saw my job as one to help them prepare for a career.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What this boiled down to with my kids was, if you've hurt yourself so badly you may need the paramedics I will overlook the use of an explicative.  If you are using these words in places where no word at all is needed or where a different word is better suited, I will make sure to educate you about the multitude of better vocabulary options available to you (which meant a detention getting cozy with the dictionary figuring out alternative words that would have been MORE powerful replacements for their chosen word - usually took them about 15 minutes to come up with a satisfactory list).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first or second time there was a slip, I just gave a warning, but if students (or my child) started regularly using profanity or used it as a form of &quot;name calling&quot; then I certainly require a list of other, more meaningful words to choose from.  The words should express the idea she want to express in a more constructive way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even at six, my daughter knows that is essentially my attitude about these &quot;bad words&quot;, and understands and uses her vocabulary appropriately to match (in other words, at this point she doesn't curse or swear).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I'd recommend a similar tact.  Wait until it comes up. Then, for the most part, don't allow swearing (with a reasoned and calm explanation, not an out and out ban), but overlook it occasionally as the situation indicates.  The reason my six-year-old knows any of this, is that she has seen me interacting with teens, not that I explicititly said anything about it at some pre-determined age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-24T05:02:25.020" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T05:02:25.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1457" CreationDate="2012-11-17T16:55:14.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bearing in mind that you don't get to filter the information, if your child's English is strong enough, you could take the &lt;em&gt;simple&lt;/em&gt; way out: &lt;a href=&quot;https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_2&lt;/a&gt; - or if you're looking to filter, just read it to them (necessary if your child's English isn't strong enough).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T16:55:14.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6596" CreationDate="2012-11-17T20:12:15.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;With three very active kids this has been a problem for us on a few occasions over the past 10 years or so. When they really aren't remembering to tidy up, we just ask them to tidy up later on when there is something else they really want to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example - a friend comes to the door to ask if they can come and play. My response - to my child and the friend - is that they can, as soon as they have picked up their mess! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has the combined effect of taking 5 - 10 minutes away from them heading out to play, but also a little bit of pressure to try and not be seen as messy by their friends. (disclaimer - I don't yet have teenagers so the effectiveness of this may all change...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:12:15.900" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6586" CreationDate="2012-11-17T20:19:01.860" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This was my problem at primary school - my initial solution was to try and find practical problems that required arithmetic. This kept me interested for a year or so, and by that stage the school had realised what I needed and provided extra tuition in calculus and the more fun aspects of mathematics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your school can't or won't support a gifted child with extra tuition and challenge, you will need to try and work out what will re-ignite her interest. Taking a long time is probably part of the problem - she wants to see it working, and she knows how to do it, the rest is just mechanical now, so showing shortcuts for some of the basics (as described by KitFox and Josh) can help you get through this phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-17T20:19:01.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6596" CreationDate="2012-11-18T02:04:48.950" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would just follow through more and not accept the &quot;I'll remember next time&quot; as an answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Well, clearly that's not working. So let's try something new. What would help you remember?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could offer up some solutions, and let her pick one. Try it for a week. If it's not working, back to the drawing board.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, when she's agreed to do something, like if she agrees to pick up her mess before bed or something, and she's not doing it, come to her at the time and say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Huh, what was our agreement?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, then just give 'the look'. You're a teacher, I'm sure you know the one I'm talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;In this family we keep our word. I'm confident you will keep yours.&quot; and walk away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Family meetings are GREAT for stuff like this!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T02:04:48.950" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6603" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-18T13:10:19.833" Score="11" ViewCount="1199" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let's say we want to put together a little first-aid kit for home and travel for our newborn. What items would you suggest to be in there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1866" LastActivityDate="2015-02-13T04:34:51.443" Title="What items should an infant first-aid kit contain?" Tags="|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6603" CreationDate="2012-11-18T16:03:04.660" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hopefully you'll never need to use such a thing, but it is a good idea. I would think all the regular things in terms of bandages and stuff would be a good plan, plus something to reduce pain and fever (e.g. &lt;em&gt;Tylenol&lt;/em&gt; in the US or &lt;em&gt;Paracetamol&lt;/em&gt; in Germany) AND when the baby begins eating solid foods, &lt;em&gt;Benadryl&lt;/em&gt; (liquid) in case of a serious allergic reaction.  A trickle poured down the throat before it swells up and restricts breathing can make the difference between healthy easy recovery or not. It can be awhile waiting for paramedics to arrive.  The liquid &lt;em&gt;Benadryl&lt;/em&gt; was recommended to a group of teachers taking first-aid/CPR training updates I was a part of when I trained for preschool.  The suggestion did not get brought up again in later years.  This was because laws changed about the ability of teachers to administer such an emergency stop-gap without an explicit OK from the parents, but I'd bet it would still apply in your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specific to the baby, I would include formula - 3 days worth, (even if he is exclusively breast-feeding, this will do in a pinch if mom and refrigerated milk are both unavailable for some reason), extra diapers and wipes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a list of resources from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redcross.org/prepare/location/home-family&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Red Cross&lt;/a&gt; on emergency preparedness for families AND their list of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redcross.org/prepare/location/home-family/get-kit&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;minimum supplies&lt;/a&gt; one should have available in case of an emergency.  This is probably over-kill for what you would carry with you in the diaper bag, but the list includes a link to &quot;anatomy&quot; of a first aid kit for a family of four which I will also include &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redcross.org/prepare/location/home-family/get-kit/anatomy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; that should also prove helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also double check with your pediatrician once you have YOUR list pared down to see that your pediatrician doesn't think anything important got forgotten during your next check-up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2785" LastEditDate="2012-11-19T21:49:36.353" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T21:49:36.353" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1112" CreationDate="2012-11-18T21:26:05.267" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;This answer isn't really about social development, but does offer other reasons for choosing a different method to talk about this with your kids.  Apparently, &quot;don't talk to strangers&quot; can be harmful, though not necessarily in the way you are asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to my Dad (police officer), John Walsh - of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (Much bigger credibility than my dad right?) and Leonore Skenazy (writer of Free Range Kids), there are three problems with &quot;don't talk to strangers&quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is easy for a &quot;stranger&quot; to trick a child into believing the stranger is NOT a stranger.  Time and time again kids go off with these strangers anyway.  They really don't seem to &quot;get it&quot; on the whole.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When kids are separated in busy places from parents or guardians and actually need help, they have to rely on strangers to get the help they need.  When told never to talk to strangers, they don't know how to successfully obtain appropriate help.  There may be even more serious times when your child will require the help of a stranger to stay safe or get out of trouble.  Car accident and you've been badly hurt and your child needs to be cared for by the person that pulls over and calls 911 while uniformed officers and paramedics arrive, after a natural disaster, or even just at the park when he falls from the swings and a stranger gets there just a bit quicker than you. . .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most children that are abducted or molested, are made victims by people they actually do know, so the rule &quot;don't talk to strangers &lt;strong&gt;Does Not Help These Other Kids&lt;/strong&gt; too.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Instead,&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Teach your kids about &quot;tricky people.&quot;  Kids should know that adults will never need their help so urgently that mom, dad or another trusted and well known adult can't be retrieved as part of the helping.  &lt;strong&gt;Teach them never to GO anywhere with a stranger. Ever - even just to the other side of a tree where you cannot see.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your kids how to get attention.  If a stranger is trying to convince a child to go somewhere with them, or keep a secret from mom and dad the child should know how to say &lt;strong&gt;Very Loudly&lt;/strong&gt;, &quot;I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO KEEP SECRETS FROM MY PARENTS OR GO ANYWHERE WITH STRANGERS EVER!&quot;  and if that doesn't attract enough attention to start screaming, &quot;&lt;strong&gt;NO, Help He is NOT MY DAD!  HELP! NO!&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your kids the kinds of &quot;tricks&quot; tricky people will use.  An adult does not need your help to find his dog so urgently that you can't go home and also enlist the help of mom.  An adult approaching you is more likely to be a &quot;tricky&quot; one than an adult the child approaches. . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your kids what to do if they become separated from you in crowded locations - find a mother that has OTHER children with her and ask that person for help finding mom or dad.  Teach the child that mother's job is to help flag down an official to make announcements and otherwise stay put with with the child, not to &lt;strong&gt;GO somewhere&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your kids to discuss their private parts using proper terminology.  If your child then comes to you referring to her labia and vagina (terms which almost no one will ever use with a child) as her muffin, cupcake, etc.  You can ask who taught her that name (I'm sure you understand how to adjust this for little boys).  This helps keep you alert if someone is hurting your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your kids to trust themselves.  Don't force them to give hugs - even to family members.  If uncle so and so does something that they don't like, they should know that NO MATTER WHAT - even if Uncle So and so says to keep it a secret, you need to know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For More detailed information about why &quot;Stranger Danger&quot; doesn't work and what to do instead, check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/NewsEventServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&amp;amp;PageId=2349&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; from The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-03T16:43:21.647" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T16:43:21.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6606" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-18T21:26:24.837" Score="18" ViewCount="30097" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have an almost 13-month-old daughter. She's found that when she touches a power cord or near an electrical outlet and we say &quot;no&quot; that it's a bit of a game. She gets a funny smirk on her face until we approach her, at which point she runs away with a smile on her face. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we teach her that it's dangerous and not a game? Or is this just part of being a 1-year-old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3442" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-27T12:32:07.803" LastActivityDate="2019-08-27T12:32:07.803" Title="How do we teach our 1-year-old that &quot;no&quot; isn't a game?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|safety|teaching|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6606" CreationDate="2012-11-18T21:44:27.100" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's part of being a 1yo. But there are obviously lots of circumstances when she has to realise that NO means NO. So when you really mean it, you have to back up your words with actions - if she doesn't stop, put her in her cot (or something) for a minute or two. Make her realise that actions have consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3443" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:44:27.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6606" CreationDate="2012-11-18T21:56:12.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;well, it pretty much IS a game.&#xA;learn how to mess with your parents' emotions.&#xA;learn what you can get away with and what you can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it's part of learning how things work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if it's a thing you have no hope of explaining to her,&#xA;just say &quot;no&quot; and grab her.&#xA;just try to explain as much as is reasonable and try not to go overboard on the emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3022" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T21:56:12.323" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6606" CreationDate="2012-11-18T22:26:28.580" Score="5" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The first step is to recognize your child is at a developmental&#xA;stage that includes learning how she has a certain amount of sway&#xA;over the others in her life - this is what the &quot;game&quot; really is. &#xA;Know that this too, shall pass.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The second step is to avoid over-use of the word, &quot;no.&quot;  &lt;strong&gt;yes&lt;/strong&gt; you&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;need&lt;/strong&gt; to say &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt; sometimes, but you should reserve use of the word &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;for the most egregious or safety-related things and say it with a&#xA;tone that lets her know you are serious.  There are replacements for&#xA;the word &quot;no,&quot; like &quot;wait,&quot; &quot;stop,&quot; and &quot;first.&quot; that can be used&#xA;when and where appropriate for those in the middle issues.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lastly, accompany the word &quot;no&quot; with an action.  The action does not&#xA;need to be a punishment and should be done gently smoothly without&#xA;jerking, or any other motion that might be painful for the little&#xA;one.  The objective is to move her away from danger (cause and&#xA;effect is a new concept that is just now &lt;strong&gt;beginning&lt;/strong&gt; to enter her&#xA;experience, time outs, slaps, and other such things will only create&#xA;confusion and fear.  Instead, your action can be to grab and hold&#xA;her hand, move her away from the item about which she is curious&#xA;while you distract her with something else, strap her in the&#xA;stroller (if she is running away from you while shopping or&#xA;something) and other occasion-appropriate types of actions.  Explain&#xA;your actions concisely while you perform them.  For example, &quot;It is&#xA;safer for you to stay with mommy right now.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-28T21:58:11.720" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T21:58:11.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6606" CreationDate="2012-11-18T22:28:21.503" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is why it is advantageous to only say the word &quot;no&quot; and use a stern voice when you &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; mean it. I save it for health &amp;amp; safety concerns, personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try using something other than &quot;no&quot;, like &quot;uh-huh&quot; or whatever is a noise you don't normally make for the non-safety/non-emergency scenarios. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use a 'teacher' voice, and move her away from whatever she's getting into.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, make sure your house is baby/toddler-proofed as much as possible to prevent as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T05:01:20.290" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T05:01:20.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5586" CreationDate="2012-11-18T23:10:04.247" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is what I have found out about the different styles based on research.  So far, we have largely used a virtual school that is really mostly school at home along with some classical and Charlotte Mason techniques for History and a smattering really of most of the other styles here and there for enrichment.  I find the problem of &quot;school at home&quot; being limiting and wearing on both educator and student to be somewhat true, but I also find the stated advantages to these styles to also be accurate.  For more info about what we do in our home (and especially the unit studies we have done) you'll need to check out my website (listed on my profile).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;School At Home&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;This style is really like having school, but in your own house.  The parent/learning coach teaches using a combination of didactic and hands on approaches with the support of textbooks and workbooks purchased through a publishing house, home school consortium or the local bookstore.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nice thing about this style of home schooling is that the parents know exactly what to teach and when, as long as they follow the guidelines of the curricula purchased.  Lessons, practice and how much should be completed of each subject each day of schooling is laid out within the materials.  This can be a great confidence builder for a year or two for parents and kids just starting out even if they would prefer a freer style down the road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does tend to be the more expensive of the styles and it can be difficult to motivate students if the materials do not fit their particular learning style.  It also tends to be one of the styles that results in the earliest &quot;burn-out&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unschooling&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;This style could not be more opposite from the &quot;school at home&quot; style.  Also known as &quot;interest led&quot;, &quot;natural&quot; or &quot;child-led&quot; education, this style does not bear any resemblance to what many would view as a traditional education.  In unschooling, children play games and are exposed to experiences that will encourage their learning.  These experiences are mostly directed by the child's interests. Many people new to the concept wonder about how these children learn very much this way. However, the proponents of the style say when we wait and give them time and when they are ready they will ask, experiment and try to find out (this idea is largely backed by personal experiences and the fact that kids taught this way often do extremely well in their chosen fields).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to my sources, the challenge with Unschooling comes when it is time for standardized testing because these children are not use to such formal assessments.  Adjusting to College or integrating into a standard classroom can also be challenging for the same reason.  These children really do learn &quot;how to learn&quot; though as usually parent and child are researching answers to the the child's questions together.  These children are also likely to become experts in their area of passion and although they may have &quot;holes&quot; in areas of less interest, they will pick up &quot;basics&quot; (such as basic mathematics) through necessity as they arrive at problems requiring these skills to be solved.  For more information about this style check out www.unschooling.com or &lt;a href=&quot;http://naturalchild.org&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://naturalchild.org&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Charlotte Mason&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Charlotte Mason was an educator herself and outlined a philosophy centered around educating the child through exposure to enriched and &quot;living&quot; materials and observation.  The idea is that kids will learn by interacting with the world in &quot;real life&quot; situations and through their exposure to &quot;living books&quot;.  Living books contain rich text we would consider great literature and that has stood the test of time (classics).  Textbooks would usually not be considered &quot;living&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Charlotte Mason kids learn science through observing nature on nature walks and experimentation.  They learn history by reading about it through &quot;living books&quot;, visiting history museums where they can view historical artifacts and by keeping a time line to help in visualizing the passage of time.  Likewise, they learn art by being surrounded by masterworks and then trying their hand at it, music by exposure to classic works and practice.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This website, Charlotte Mason Method Homeschool, has a discussion Forum, links to resources, articles and online books about Charlotte Mason-styled education and learning, including an article all about &quot;getting started&quot;.  For even more information, Katherine Levison is one of the leading authors regarding this style.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did not find a lot the specified specific benefits or drawbacks as clearly as were outlined for the other two styles already listed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Classical Approach&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;The Classical Approach to an at home education is one that has been around since the middle ages and in actuality is probably the most truly traditional of all the approaches (more so than sending a child to the &quot;traditional&quot; mortar and brick school in your neighborhood today).  This approach uses the Trivium (or five tools for learning), including reason, record, research, relate and rhetoric to gain deeper and deeper learning for the student.  &quot;The Well Trained Mind&quot; by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise is mentioned frequently in relation to this educational style.  For more information check out the online magazine &quot;Classical Homeschooling&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without realizing it, we have used a classical approach history record book in our History Curriculum already.  The classical approach uses a lot of &quot;copy work&quot;, oral narration and recitation of items children are to have memorized.  This &quot;copy work&quot; can become tedious for both learner and teacher, but it does offer the practice children need for memorization.  From a distance, it may look a lot like the school at home approach and indeed, pre-made and organized curricula can be purchased specifically for this style sort of combining the two approaches.  There are also mortar and brick schools that are considered &quot;Classical Schools&quot; that use this approach.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some reason, much of the pre-made materials for this approach are religiously based, and I have had trouble finding materials for those persons who are NOT religious or even specifically Christian to use with this approach. I am told, more and more Classical approach secular groups are arising so this drawback (for some) will change over time.  From a cursory search for materials, supplies and lesson plans for this approach, science education may be a weakness because it would appear not much experimentation occurs.  However, the Classical approach does seem to have a reputation for being one of the best ways to make sure children get a very good background in History.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Virtual&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Virtual Homeschooling is basically like school at home but with an added element to the &quot;purchased&quot; curricula which is that there is access to an online community (and sometimes a real-world community as well) all using the same set of curricula and curricular standards.  Different Virtual Schools might have differing philosophies, so it is possible to find those that use an approach from almost any of the styles listed.  The idea is that all your materials, lessons and activities can be prescribed by the school, and organized and laid out for you (minimizing leg work for the parent). Families that use enrollment in a &quot;Virtual School&quot; may have access to trained teachers in person, online chat rooms and class sessions done in a &quot;go to meeting&quot; or &quot;Skype&quot; type of program.  The online classes use computers and these programs to link students from across state, or even international boundaries with an expert in a particular subject.  These online classes are in addition to what the parent teaches using the program's set lesson plans, guide books, and workbooks/practice materials and are not the only lessons children receive.  Much of a virtual school curriculum can be done offline and without the use of a computer as well as online. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantage here is that in many virtual schools the school seeks accreditation with various states and legally (in the US) the child is considered to be enrolled in a private or charter school. This means parents using these programs have fewer concerns over meeting legal requirements as it becomes the school's responsibility to help achieve these set standards and obtain the appropriate sample work (or at least teach you exactly what to record, how to record it and what to collect).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The disadvantages are much like those for families using the &quot;school at home style&quot;.  These families have more freedom over what is covered educationally than do families with kids in mortar and brick settings, but they have even fewer freedoms to diverge from the prescribed texts and curricula than their &quot;school at home&quot;, &quot;Charlotte Mason&quot;, and &quot;Classical&quot; counterparts.  This can be a costly way to do schooling as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;www.k12.com can give you examples of ONE of the leading virtual schools available internationally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unit Studies&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;A Unit Studies educational approach tries to create cross-curricular units in which one central subject is studied, but many (or all) of the core curricular subjects are addressed within the unit.  For example, a unit study of Ancient Rome would include learning Roman Numerals, a few Latin basic root words (that are intended to help with both Language Arts skills and understanding Rome), art and architecture from Ancient Rome, and the Mythology of Ancient Rome (Literature being another category of Language Arts).  Writing assignments would center around lessons done about Ancient Rome and for science one might choose to focus on the structural advantages of arch construction, gadgetry of warfare as an in for simple machines and/or volcanoes as it ties in to the eruption of Vesuvius and all that has been learned from digs at Pompeii and Herculaneum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most Unit studies try to incorporate hands on activities or some hands-on culminating project.  Unit studies may be child-directed (chosen because of an interest the child has) or learning coach/teacher/parent directed (a topic is chosen because of a need the adult perceives in the education of the child in question). The advantage to learning this way, is that it is often a lot more memorable and &quot;real world&quot; than teaching each of the subjects separately.  It also helps kids to see connections between subjects and therefore more value in subjects they might otherwise not find interesting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing that is tough about this approach is balancing all the subjects and making sure you are meeting educational benchmarks in a fashion conducive to expectations in states that dictate standardized testing even in the earlier grades.  It can be done, but requires a great deal of organization and research on the part of the educator to use Unit Studies alone.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Waldorf&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Rudolf Steiner founded this educational style around 1919 when he was asked to establish a school for the workers at the Waldorf Astoria Cigarette Factory in Stuttgart, Germany.  Since he believed the human was a mix of spirit, soul and body and that there was a three stage emergence of the full being that occured in three developmental stages (early childhood, middle childhood and adolescence) his school was profoundly different from most schools of the day, and since.  When I visited Waldorf Schools in St. Louis as part of my teacher training I found them to be incredibly comfortable because the environment is totally natural.  Furniture is not made of plastic and metal, but of wood.  Instead of playdough, kids mold bee's wax (which is amazing for your skin btw - softer hands in minutes).  Kids work in an organic garden as part of their introduction to life sciences, nature and ecology.  As you enter the school, you remove your outdoor shoes and slip into slippers . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Musical education begins with clapping games, singing and rhythm and then in about second or third grade kids are taught to play the recorder.  Reading and writing are not a part of the curriculum until third grade, but plenty of games are played that help increase literary awareness so that when kids are taught to read and write in a more formal way they pick it up very easily and quickly.  It is all about experiential learning and contact with the natural things of the world.  Many schools emphasize an avoidance of early access to television, computer and other &quot;screen&quot; and electronic technologies as well as plastics and non-organic chemicals and products (note: the founding of this style predates the environmental movement).  Kids learn by doing.  For example, they make their own muesli (as a class) for morning snack, and pick fruits or veggies from the garden to make into an afternoon snack.  In each snack preparation, measuring is taking place along with teamwork.  After having a fairy tale read to them, the kids might recreate that fairy tale through dress up and dramatic presentation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though this style was founded in mortar and brick schools many families are using the style in their home schools.  Training is available (though expensive) as are plenty of pre-made supplies and curricula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Montessori&#xA;Founded by Educator and Physician Maria Montessori, much like an &quot;unschooling&quot; approach, these schools emphasize a child directed approach to education.  However, in the Montessori school, there is a prescribed set of choices of specific games out and available that will steer the children in the direction of learning certain things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Montessori trained teachers are trained to ask guiding questions that will help nurture and direct the child's thinking and questioning.  If a child is floundering he or she is brought back into corrected thinking through their own reasoning, but with the help of thoughtful, well-planned questions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Montessori Foundation has a fairly extensive website with more information as well as resources for schools and information about training. They are in the process of building a section specifically designed for home school families attempting to use a Montessori approach.  Montessori games and activities are often used in regular classrooms - especially in preschools and elementary mathematics so you may be more familiar with some of these than you think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Multiple Intelligences&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I actually disagree with this as a title for an Educational Method, as Howard Gardner set forth a hypothesis about brain development, learning and (mainly) the nature of intelligence, not a guideline or philosophy about how education should occur.  However, many people do use it this way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Howard Gardner hypothesized that there are seven different intelligences (and added an eighth later) and we all exhibit these intelligences in different degrees.  People that claim to use this as a method are really saying, they accept the hypothesis that there are multiple intelligences and incorporate this belief into their teaching methods in a thoughtful way that puts the child's talents and strengths to use in their learning.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although we know there are different learning styles there is no &quot;Learning Styles&quot; approach to education just as there really isn't truly a &quot;Multiple Intelligences&quot; approach to education.  Rather, this approach simply represents a philosophy or belief that a child's natural strengths (or intelligence) should be valued and tapped into in order to help each individual learn whatever subject matter is at hand in much the same way teachers today try to make sure to address all four learning styles in the classroom (a clarification: learning styles are very different from intelligences and in fact, Gardner addresses learning styles along with intelligences in some of his writing).  MI approach then becomes a bit of an eclectic mix of styles depending upon the individual who is receiving the education and their specific needs as the approach to teaching will consider the learning style AND combination of intelligences the child leans on most in the choice of method used for a specific individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eclectic&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;An Eclectic homeschooler draws upon any of the homeschooling styles as that parent, learning coach or teacher deems most beneficial for their family situation and philosophy.  This style usually means the parent is taking the best that each of the other styles has to offer and using it to teach in his or her home.  The advantage of course, is the freedom to go with what works in each moment for each kid while still having a structure to help guide the parent through subjects he or she may not already know much about.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The disadvantage of course, is that it can be an overwhelming way to go about educating a child because of the sheer number of resources to weed through in order to find the best match for each child and subject (and its subsets of information and skills).  Eclectic homeschooling can be done very inexpensively or it can become highly expensive depending on choices made in regard to purchased materials for curricula or activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What the proponents and opponents of a style have to say about it online and in books doesn't always match the reality for all.  If your experience differs from what I have found in my research, PLEASE add another answer!!!  I always love to learn more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T23:10:04.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3383" CreationDate="2012-11-18T23:44:52.707" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of your daycare workers might babysit for parents on the side. I know I did!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-18T23:44:52.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="399" CreationDate="2012-11-19T00:51:57.520" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends largely on how you define the term &quot;punishment.&quot;  Kids NEED to be allowed to make mistakes and suffer the consequences so they will learn.  They need to be told no sometimes.  At the same time, &quot;punishment&quot; in the traditional sense does not always have the intended effect.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids generally want to be good and do the right thing AT FIRST.  However, they are also curious and naive about things and need your guidance to stay out of trouble.  They are also inherently selfish/self centered and particularly at certain ages and stages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can greatly minimize your need to use punishments and increase the likelihood your child will look to you for guidance (even in their teen years) by staying connected to your kids through quality time, mutual respect through offering age-appropriate choices and responsibility and LISTENING, LISTENING, LISTENING. It is also extremely important to give your child a sense of value in the family by asking them to contribute as soon as they are able.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hardly ever needed punishing as a child because my Dad and I have always been close.  He is a really good listener and since he only had girls and I was the oldest, I often had the chores helping him the boys would normally have done (chopping fire wood, fixing fences, laying concrete, mowing the lawn, etc.)  It meant I had that sense of value and he and I had a lot of time to talk even through our hard work and sweat (can you tell I had a fairly rural up-bringing?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found that in general, the same is true of my daughter.  Of course there have been times she has need redirecting, correction or support while she suffered the consequences of a choice, but generally I don't need to do A LOT of correcting and usually what is needed is pretty mild.  Most kids will try lying ONCE or TWICE, they will test the boundaries (and, I haven't hit puberty with her yet, which may change my answer), but the resources on the matter, I've relied on and would recommend are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0307440850&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey and its companion The Seven Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey.&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;This book outlines seven habits that are pretty well established as effective techniques in running a family full of kids that are considerate, self monitoring and respectful while also being critical thinkers.  It discusses the value of things like family meetings, quality time and even having a family mission statement and how to make these things work in a variety of families, settings and situations.  The one for kids helps with stories you can use with elementary school-aged kids to aid them in learning the seven habits for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0743525086&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk&lt;/a&gt; This book discusses the pitfalls of too much praise, how to use non-evaluative statements, how to correct or critique constructively instead of deconstructively and yes, how to actually listen to your kids (somewhat).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.loveandlogic.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parenting with Love and Logic&lt;/a&gt; - Yes it is about giving choices to your children.  It will talk all about why this is important in terms of both their development and esteem, as well as just helpful to you.  No it is not about manipulation, it is about empowerment for you and your children.  A choice of action a or a spanking would NOT be advocated in the book, both options are supposed to be equally valid options for both parents and child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aesop's Fables - yes, this includes things like, &quot;The Crow and the Pitcher,&quot; &quot;Androcles and the Lion,&quot; and &quot;the Tortoise and the Hare.&quot;  But is still full of wisdom presented in stories your kids will enjoy hearing you read to them and nuggets you may find helpful in guiding you as a parent too.  Of course, I also use a lot of Bible stories with mine too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I have not read Positive Discipline and it sounds as though it may conflict slightly with the other books I have listed here, but only slightly.  It SOUNDS like it really goes over helping your kids feel a sense of self worth and how to let natural consequences help in teaching them the lessons they need to learn.  @Christine Gordon recommends it frequently, and based on what I have read from her on this site, it is probably a resource you may find exceedingly helpful.  I hope to read it myself soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start with the SEVEN HABITS if you can only get one of these books now.  MOST of them are old enough you should be able to get them from your public library in the US too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-19T18:34:28.633" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T18:34:28.633" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5059" CreationDate="2012-11-19T01:27:33.487" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, you mention being pushed for time.  Is it possible that he doesn't want to walk because he is still 2 1/2 which means his legs are a LOT shorter than yours and he can't keep up and/or tires out a lot faster?  If he is walking till he is tired and then put into the stroller, it is a bit like getting a really good work-out and not being allowed a cool down or stretch afterwards.  That will not feel good for his GROWING musculature.  As a preventative measure, only expect him to walk when you can take your time and move along at his pace.  Stop and smell the flowers with him, notice the line of ants carrying food back to their nest, and stop to watch the song bird in a tree.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to wanting out of the stroller, I don't like being belted in very much either - I'd imagine that is part of the problem, especially at the age of two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you aren't already, you might try making the stroller a funner place to be.  Be goofy with him while you walk.  Make the stroller &quot;dance.&quot;  You can make the ride more fun for him by singing songs, making the stroller occasionally go &quot;crazy&quot; by weaving a little or going extra fast and squealing, &quot;Weeee&quot; and being silly about it.  Talk about what you see while you walk, tell your son about where it is you are headed and how you will be getting there.  Ask him if he sees the lady with the blue hat, the green sign. . .   Play games like &quot;eye spy&quot;.  Choose an object (that's pretty obvious, because he is two) and say, &quot;Hey, I see something yellow, can you guess what it is?&quot;  Once he gets the premise let him be the spier sometimes.  Then, if you are in a hurry and need to move along he is more likely to enjoy the stroller along the way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is a day when he really needs to be in the stroller, he REALLY DOESN't want to be and is telling you so, you can acknowledge his feelings but still honor your needs.  &quot;I know you want out of the stroller.  We have to get to X place, I'll get you out there.  That'll be about Y minutes from now.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, Like Torben says, don't give in.  If he fusses you can just repeat, &quot;It'll only be about Y minutes until you can get out.&quot;  Try to distract him with a little fun or a game that has worked well.  Then when you get to the next location, get him out, give him a big hug, and a few minutes to move around before you move on.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T01:27:33.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2596" CreationDate="2012-11-19T02:09:43.060" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know, in the moment, you will call them by each-other's names sometimes anyway.  I am three years older than my sister yet mom always referred to me with her name and vice-versa if she was upset, in a hurry, etc.  My Grandmother even once called me by my Dad's former dog's name.  Go with names you really like and don't worry about it being confusing.  You'll mix their names up anyway and - you'll be using them a lot so you'd better like the names.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-05T00:44:22.007" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T00:44:22.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6617" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6629" CreationDate="2012-11-19T02:22:21.627" Score="5" ViewCount="1184" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously, there are still times when printing by hand is needed and while I am not a proponent of dropping handwriting all together, I do wonder about the necessity of cursive and extensive daily handwriting practice when typing is not a part of my daughter's curriculum.  Is there something about the importance of handwriting I don't know?  I am considering giving her typing instruction (using a game program) and having her do less handwriting practice to account for the time used in typing instruction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is home schooled and this would all be legal in our state/country - but isn't the prescribed way to go with her school program.  The school program we signed on with expects her to practice handwriting 20 minutes a day 5 days/week.  I would probably have her do handwriting 2 days/week and typing the other three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also does a lot of writing for Language Arts, history and science so it isn't as though she doesn't have ample opportunities to use her handwriting for practice because SOME of these assignments must be turned in to her teacher and then the state and in her handwriting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT TO ANSWER A FEW QUESTIONS AND CREATE A LITTLE MORE CLARITY based on the wonderful answers and comments I've already received:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is six, but has the hand span of a seven or eight year old because she is LONG in shape - including her fingers.  If she were interested in Basketball, I'm sure she'd handle the ball pretty easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She reads at a fifth grade level or higher, but is in a second grade writing course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She already knows how to print quite well.  She has not mastered the skill, but certainly writes as well as some of my former middle-school students did AND can keep up with her grade-level peers when she attends classes in person.  It is cursive that is in question - and even then, I still think she needs to learn it, I just question the amount of time spent on practicing it when no time is spent on typing skills of any sort (nor does the school program offer it at ANY point in the curriculum - not even high school).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She/we speak English, she speaks some Spanish and is learning German.  We have QWERTY keyboards in our home currently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is quite proficient with computers otherwise (although we haven't done anything with spreadsheets or with programming).  She has actually helped me trouble shoot once or twice with glitches we've faced with her online classes.  She is a little too good at navigating things if you ask me actually. So this really is about typing skills (to avoid the hunt and peck method) not computer literacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-02T17:40:14.613" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T16:30:05.437" Title="What are the merits of teaching a child to type correctly at the expense of time practiced with handwriting?" Tags="|education|homeschooling|primary-schooler|handwriting|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6618" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6656" CreationDate="2012-11-19T03:16:00.967" Score="6" ViewCount="21128" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age do kids usually begin taking showers instead of baths?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you help a child go about making the transition when the time comes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-19T14:42:23.317" LastActivityDate="2019-09-14T01:33:49.293" Title="At what age do kids usually begin taking showers instead of baths?" Tags="|age-appropriate|hygiene|cleaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6619" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6630" CreationDate="2012-11-19T03:26:05.107" Score="15" ViewCount="7153" Body="&lt;p&gt;Helping in the kitchen is something my child thoroughly enjoys.  Now that she is in elementary she has a handle on most of the &quot;safe&quot; kitchen skills from kneading dough to reading a recipe and even measuring out ingredients after doubling or halving a recipe (with a little checking and help with the math at times).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the holiday season fast approaching, I know we will be spending a lot of time in the kitchen.  She is still scared to go anywhere near the heat and doesn't want to help with flipping things or removing things from the oven yet (not that I'm complaining) but she has begun to ask about helping with chopping, slicing and dicing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I just tell her no, you need to wait another year or two?  If so, what signs of maturity does she need to demonstrate to show me she is ready to use the knives?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course I've let her use a butter knife for things like slicing dough or bananas but does anyone have suggestions for teaching SAFE knife use and skills.  Once I decide she is ready;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where do we start?  Are there tools out there designed to help teach this skill?  What skill is easiest/safest to start with and what are some good resources for making sure I'm really covering all that I should in terms of her safe use of the knife?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-12-12T05:30:02.743" LastActivityDate="2015-12-12T05:30:02.743" Title="When should a child begin to learn knife skills for use in the Kitchen?" Tags="|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|life-skills|cooking|tools|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6620" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6666" CreationDate="2012-11-19T03:36:00.963" Score="5" ViewCount="422" Body="&lt;p&gt;In asking a question about teaching knife skills, I realized I'd never seen a question about chores and household skills and what is appropriate when on Parenting SE. I did find &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/968/2876&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; in regard to preschool abilities, but found nothing similar for the elementary student or older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few books out there about the matter, like, &quot;Chores without Wars&quot; but sometimes real experience is nice to hear along with what books have to say about what can be expected.  There is a lot of opportunity for scaffolding in new skills at different stages.  There is probably a depth of experience out there for assigning chores perhaps others would like to weigh in on so we can have a useful resource here on Parent'sSE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-11-24T14:40:01.733" Title="What kinds of Household skills can be expected at what ages?" Tags="|age-appropriate|chores|life-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="968" CreationDate="2012-11-19T03:54:52.697" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This list assumes you are using child friendly and organic cleansers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the type of vacuum you have, he might be able to help with that.  If you have an upright it will be too much but cannister vacs mean the part the child is moving around a lot are lighter weight so he can do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also spray a mirror and have him wipe the bottom while you do the top - same with windows and glass doors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;matching socks, sorting clothes into piles of mommy's clothes, daddy's clothes, his clothes and so on.  Folding easy fold items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do gardening, watering plants was already mentioned, but Alice was helping with weeding by the time she was four.  I started by having her point out plants she thought were weeds and then I would pull them (scavenger hunts are so much fun).  THEN when she got a pair of gardening gloves and a weeding tool one spring in her Easter basket she was super excited to use them and now sometimes if she is out in the backyard playing I'll peak out and see her weeding even without me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking care of feeding pets (reminders will be needed).           &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;helping to set the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;measuring and stirring ingredients in the kitchen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;picking up general &quot;stuff&quot; around the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;taking out the compost and stirring it in (with help).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;wiping sinks and faucets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cleaning the bath-tub with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Washing dishes that are relatively light weight and not sharp with you.  (You wash, child dries).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emptying a dishwasher of all the dishes that belong in cabinets the child can reach.  Instruct your child to let you handle knives and particularly fragile items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T03:54:52.697" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2012-11-19T04:10:58.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a preschool teacher that dealt with the issue frequently with little ones.  Generally, punitive styles do not really motivate kids with cleaning up.  sometimes too many toys out can be overwhelming, sorting skills can make cleaning up more challenging than you realize if different things go in different bins AND they have to transition from playing to cleaning.  Transitions are often tough for this age-group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try a rule where he can only have one - maybe two kinds of toys out at a time.  If he is playing with his train and train set, those have to be put away before he can switch to blocks.  This way there is less to clean up and less sorting involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give a five and 3 minute warning before ending play time to help in transitioning.  &amp;quot;Okay you have five more minutes before it is time to clean up.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Okay, now you have three more minutes.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing this in conjunction with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5813/2876&quot;&gt;Michel Daviot's&lt;/a&gt; suggestions may make a big difference for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try making a game of it.  Sing a song, &amp;quot;Clean up Clean up everybody every where, Clean up clean up, everybody do your share&amp;quot;. is a common one (just make up your own tune).  There is also, &amp;quot;Whistle While you Work&amp;quot; from Snow White and &amp;quot;Happy Working Song&amp;quot; from Enchanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See who can get the largest number of toys cleaned up in 60 seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can he &amp;quot;beat the clock?&amp;quot; set a timer and celebrate together with cheers and dancing if it is done before the clock beeps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make it a learning practice game:  Okay, how long will it take to clean up all the red cars?  Can we do it in less time than the blue cars took?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If these methods don't work, THEN as a LAST RESORT you might try the more punitive answer given &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5763/2876&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.  The idea that he can earn toys back from the toy void is far better than just giving the toys back after a set number of days, because he is learning that he has to rectify the problem that caused the toys to be lost in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I might also add that if it gets to the point that the bin is full (and your child is fully past the stage where it is questionable whether cause and effect are understood) then it is time to give away the majority of the toys in the bin because your child isn't missing them and earning them back anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T03:50:51.757" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6619" CreationDate="2012-11-19T08:13:15.050" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We let ours start to chop from about four years old, but to keep things safe we bought a safety knife for them, which is serrated but very blunt, with a rounded end. &#xA;The serrations will allow the cutting of most vegetables, although tomatoes may just squash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It works perfectly for peppers and carrots. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also found a safe peeler for carrots that reduces the risk of them peeling their fingers, but they never really took to it, so in the end we just waited until they could use a normal one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T08:13:15.050" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6620" CreationDate="2012-11-19T09:32:49.890" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's a definitive answer as children vary widely in coordination and ability at a given age. Enthusiasm also is a big factor. My son has been helping unload the dishwasher, load and unload the washing machine and dryer since he was 1 and a half. We didn't ask him to do anything, he just walked over and started doing it because he wanted to do stuff with daddy. Even from that age we've never had a broken dish, so he's very good. He's 3 now and regularly helping me peel garlic, stir things, and of course licking the spoon when I'm baking. It's not as if I have to work to get him involved, holding him back would be impossible! Of course I don't let him get near the knives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for when I will get him involved in other things my answer is when I think he's ready. I look at it as building skills on top of one another. Take cooking for example. Right now he does things like peel garlic and onions, kneads bread (I give him a teeny bit and he kneads it using the same technique I do), and helps me make meatballs. Next I'll get him opening cans with the can opener and controlling the mixer. Then I'll introduce him to slicing with a pearing knife, then chopping with a chef's knife. Maybe he'll be chopping stuff up at 7, maybe at 10, I'll play it by ear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you can say &quot;introduce your children to x at y years&quot;, I think you have to say &quot;when your child can do x, introduce your child to y skill&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T09:32:49.890" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6618" CreationDate="2012-11-19T11:52:41.313" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any time, really - no transition work was needed as they saw that we preferred showers so obviously they wanted the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started ours from around 18 months as they really enjoyed the spray. What we would typically do at that age is just take them in with us - and they can learn to close their eyes and tip their head back to avoid bubbles in their eyes between then and around 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By 3 years old we would let them sit in the bath while we used the shower unit in there - we would put the plug in for a while so they could splash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the age of 5 we let our son shower by himself, and the girls from about 6 - the difference here was solely in hair length. Our son has hair about an inch long, whereas the girls had over 26 inch hair and they just couldn't successfully wash it themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T11:52:41.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6626" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6618" CreationDate="2012-11-19T12:48:38.250" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree fully with Rory's answer. But something else that was helpful is doing graduated supervision. So first it's them in the shower with you, then you sitting on the bathroom floor or somewhere in the bathroom while they shower, and then it's them in the master bathroom and you in the bedroom if you have that set up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My little sister is twelve years younger than me so I did this with her and it was very helpful. That kid LOVED showers and to this day you have to tell her to get out or she'd be in there forever (she's 14 now). :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-19T17:21:09.483" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T17:21:09.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6617" CreationDate="2012-11-19T12:59:42.817" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you've answered your own question when you say to do both. From personal experience I don't think cursive is necessary any more. I'm young enough that I &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; use it. Handwriting ie penmanship is still important for me of course, but not cursive. The only exception is that sometimes I find that I can write faster in cursive so this helpful for note-taking but obviously not a requirement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would start typing by your daughter's age as it is needed for her generation. Media literacy in general is crucial these days. In my work I see a big digital divide across race and class, not just age, and I see this impacting students. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like everything, it's a balance, but if it were my child, I'd introduce them to typing around the first grade or so, maybe sooner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I distinctly remember my little sister, still in diapers, being able to get onto Disney.com by herself because she'd memorized the keys to type! And her tiny hand barely covered even half the mouse! Too cute :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T12:59:42.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6617" CreationDate="2012-11-19T13:53:20.180" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cursive handwriting is designed so that you can write it fast and still have it be legible and reasonably pretty. It's based on having a rhythmic movement up and down while having a smooth movement forward. Learning it is a useful skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beware though, in some places, like Scandinavia, a cursive form is being taught that is designed to not be useful, but to be easy to learn. As an example, you can not write it either quickly, nor make it look good. It is useless, do not learn it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Sweden, the so called &quot;SÖ-stilen&quot; (The Superior Schoolboard cursive) is to be avoided at all costs.  Googling a bit about the issue it seems that the D'Nealian script taught in the US today is being criticized, but more for that the manuscript style is too similar to cursive, while the SÖ-style had the problem that the cursive was to similar to the manuscript style. In any case, make sure the cursive is a nice, rhythmic cursive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: &lt;strong&gt;Cursive is a useful skill to have, but to be safe, teach your kid a cursive style that was designed well before 1970.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most forms of typing instructions are designed to learn how to type fast on typewriters, using &quot;touch-typing&quot; and &quot;home row&quot; and other concepts. Typewriters have mechanical restrictions and are in various ways  designed to &lt;em&gt;slow down&lt;/em&gt; typing. Typing lessons like this are outdated, impractical and require a hand position that is unergonomic and will lead to pain, in bad cases repetitive stress injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took typing once a week for a couple of years, and today I work as a computer programmer. I do not use the &quot;typist&quot; hand-positions, but I'm still a very fast typer. I also very rarely see any other programmer using typist positioning unless they also use special ergonomic keyboards, which they drag all over the world. Many also combine these ergonomic keyboards with keyboard layouts that are designed to be more effective, like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dvorak_Simplified_Keyboard&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dvorak&lt;/a&gt;, also to some extent negating the usefulness of typing lessons. I don't see any ovbious connection between typical typing speed and using typist hand-positions, but I have no statistics on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides, if you need to type really fast, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Velotype&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;syllabic chorded keyboards&lt;/a&gt; are the way to do. As long as you use a QWERTY-keyboards, learning to type fast is basically a wasted effort as you won't be very fast whatever you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to this, much typical computing is moving away from keyboards altogether. Home-row touch-typing is simply a skill designed for the first half of the 20th century. It's not going to be relevant or useful for your kids when they grow up. It's similar to how my mother always nagged that I needed nice hand-writing, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to get a job, but of course as soon as I actually were looking for jobs, I wrote applications for on type writers and then on computers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: &lt;strong&gt;Do not teach your kid home-row touch-typing.&lt;/strong&gt; It's an not a generally useful skill, it's only useful for a small set of people, namely those who sit in front of a computer typing prose all day, such as authors and secretaries. &lt;strong&gt;But do teach them to use a keyboard and a computer.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2013-12-13T12:11:21.707" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T12:11:21.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6617" CreationDate="2012-11-19T14:28:58.777" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to agree with noelicus that, at her age, she's still &quot;practicing&quot; handwriting rather than just using handwriting as a means to an end.  If I recall correctly, your daughter is 6 which is, perhaps, a little young for typing.  Plus, there's the question of whether or not her fine motor skills are refined enough to learn to type correctly.  I mean, if you're going to start teaching her to type then it should be done correctly--right?  If not, you're just setting yourself up for angst and tears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An interesting journal abstract &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/search/detailmini.jsp?_nfpb=true&amp;amp;_&amp;amp;ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=ED238542&amp;amp;ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=no&amp;amp;accno=ED238542&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; is a study that was conducted in 1983 about an analysis of teaching young (5-8 years) children keyboarding.  Granted, this was 1983 and they were using typewriters, but, just from reading the abstract, gross and fine motor proficiency seem to be correlated with success as is the ability to read.  Having read some of your other posts, it doesn't seem the latter would be a problem for your daughter.  At any rate, it does demonstrate that young children can learn how to type with very little frustration if all the other criteria are met.&#xA;However, contrary to what I wrote in my first paragraph, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thethinkingstick.com/when-or-do-we-teach-typing/&quot;&gt;Jeff Utecht&lt;/a&gt; says that we should do away with teaching the &quot;home row&quot; and what have you altogether, likening it, interestingly enough, to cursive.  He points out that we were probably all exposed to correct cursive letter formation in school, but probably none of us actually use that form to write anymore.  Instead, he says that we should be exposing kids to the keyboard from kindergarten and allowing kids to experiment and find a typing style that works for them.  His blog post on the topic is actually pretty interesting.  Anyway, in a nut-shell, he says the following which may be a good way for you to approach it without necessarily sacrificing any handwriting practice time at the moment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Expose kids to the keyboard as much as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Every student starting in kindergarten should be exposed to the keyboard as much as possible.  15 minutes three times a week would be preferable.  He does not necessarily say how this should be done so I imagine that is entirely up to you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In first grade, the focus should be on students using two hands on the keyboard.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;By third grade, typing should be part of the writing curriculum.  The time spent on cursive writing should be replaced with keyboard time (I, personally, disagree with this, but to each his/her own).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;By 5th grade, students should be required to turn in at least one type-written assignment per week and spend no less than 120 minutes a week exposed to a computer keyboard.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I absolutely agree with Christine that learning to type is a no-brainer.  She's going to have to learn it because that's the society we live in today.  But there's something to be said for having decent handwriting.  You can have the most amazing ideas in the world, but if no one can read your handwriting then what's the point?  And, at some point, someone is going to assess her work other than you and it may or may not be typed--even if you choose to homeschool through high school, there's a good chance that you will have to enlist help from outsiders to thoroughly cover the curriculum.  You obviously want any other teachers she has in her life to be able to read her handwriting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, yes, teach her to type, but perhaps introduce the concept slowly and you don't need to really sacrifice her current handwriting curriculum as long as you're making computer time fun while still emphasizing basic skills (like, two hands on the keyboard!).  I hadn't really thought about it, but kids naturally tend toward using one hand initially (I know I did when I was little).    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T14:28:58.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6619" CreationDate="2012-11-19T15:22:51.227" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://whatscookingwithkids.com/2010/08/18/teaching-knife-skills-to-kids-and-suggestions-for-cutting-tools/&quot;&gt;What's Cooking with Kids&lt;/a&gt; website has some excellent suggestions on how to ease kids into chopping and there are some excellent alternative chopping equipment out there that I never even thought about.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, you can always turn to the food processor or blender for chopping.  These are good, but if yours are like mine, they're a pain in the butt to clean up.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I had forgotten all about the food chopper! How great are those for young kids?!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Veggie peelers are good confidence builders and the article gives some great advice for starting your kids out on actual knives.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Even egg slicers are good alternatives for fruits and softer veggies (or, apparently, mozzarella cheese!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, she suggests the following (it's a great list and full of things I wouldn't have thought of on my own)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a larger cutting board than necessary.  It's harder to cut if you feel crowded and I would totally agree with that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Obviously wear close-toed shoes.  I always treat my kitchen like my lab at school.  Hair back, shoes on (especially with knives).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't try to catch falling knives.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carry the knife with tip pointing toward the floor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt; the parent should select the cutting tool for your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Always hold the food with one hand while the other hand uses the knife.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The holding hand should always be shaped like a claw to keep little fingers safe(r).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The tip of the knife should remain on the cutting board.  You lift the back of the knife to do the chopping.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The shape of the chef knife might work better for your child and keep him/her from banging his/her knuckles on the board while cutting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are working with round or wobbly foods, cut off a slice from the bottom or cut it in half to stabilize it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be sure your knives are sharp.  This seems counter-intuitive, but she legitimately points out that a dull knife can cause your child to overcompensate by pressing down harder and the injuries caused by this can be terrible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, they do make safety knives and there is a link in that article to one type if having one around would make you feel better.  I hope this is helpful for you because it's been incredibly insightful for me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for age, I think that's entirely up to you.  Clearly there's a certain level of motor skills that she needs to have control over and you can assess that better than any of us can, and I think there's probably a lot of personality involved in determining whether your child is ready to wield a knife.  If your child focuses well and really understands that she can seriously hurt herself if she misuses this tool then she's probably on the right track to being ready for some basic knife practice.  My son, for example, no way am I handing him a knife right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm glad you asked this question as my 4-year-old has started spending more time in the kitchen with me (though mostly he just wants to lick the cake batter bowl).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So...of course I went to do some research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="19584" LastEditDate="2015-11-03T12:22:28.637" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T12:22:28.637" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6631" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6641" CreationDate="2012-11-19T21:05:40.503" Score="5" ViewCount="13166" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old son is really bright, has an amazingly long attention span, and can be loads of fun but lately he is fighting absolutely everything. It takes ages to get him dressed as he won't do it himself, but he will throw a tantrum if you do it for him. He was doing really well with potty training, having gone 6 days without a single accident, but now he's having several accidents every day. He ignores me and my wife like we're not there and we can talk at him all day to where you think he's not listening, but if we then say &quot;well I guess you don't want x&quot; after all suddenly he's rushing to cooperate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am doing my best to be patient and my strategy has been to let him do things himself as he has the skills and is motivated to do so. He can dress himself completely, and has no problem using the potty at all, he's very independent. He's using this independence to decide he's not going to do these things, but there are times that I simply cannot wait to let him do it on his own. Take dressing, I start the process 30 minutes before I have to be out the door, yet frequently I'm late because he simply refuses. I know it is for attention, I just don't know how to deal with it constructively - I have to get to work! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the potty training we started in May, and he just started anticipating in October. It was great, he was going to the potty on his own, we were doing things we couldn't do when he was in diapers, but then in the past week or two he's stopped all that and is now willfully going in his pants all the time. We've tried just ignoring him and telling him to change his clothes, we've tried all the strategies, but we've had to go back to reminding him every half an hour to go or he's wetting or messing himself at least 4-5 times per day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned that my wife and I are developing an adversarial relationship with him, and I don't know how to stop it. It's like an arms race, both sides keep upping the ante and the confrontations just get worse. Yet if we don't push him somehow we never get out of the house! Rewards don't seem to work, and I don't want to punish him as punishment seems like an empty strategy which is more about retribution than learning the right things. I can threaten to take his favorite toy away if he gets really bad, but that's not the type of father I want to be! I want to be a calm, measured dad who talks soft and is listened to, but I'm more and more often having to shout at him to get him to cooperate. It's getting to the point where I don't enjoy being with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions on how to break this cycle? I want him to have a sense of independence, and I think his self confidence is great, but it has to be tempered with an understanding that there are some times when you have to do things even when you don't want to. I need his cooperation in getting dressed, and I need him to start using the potty instead of peeing himself all the time. And I want to do it in a way where I'm not having to come down on him all the time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions welcome! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2014-03-13T01:58:31.953" Title="Resistant child and potty training regression" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6631" CreationDate="2012-11-19T21:47:38.643" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a number of answers on this site about both the oppositional behaviors and potty training.  For all of these questions, the checked question may not be the best answer for you, it was simply the best answer for the person who asked the question.  I recommend reading - or at least skimming - all the answers offered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For Potty Training I suggest:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3037/2876&quot;&gt;How to deal with potty trained 3 year old who now won&amp;#39;t go to the potty?&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5634/2876&quot;&gt;Retrain toddler to potty?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;these two questions are MOST relevant as they are about children that were potty trained and have decided to begin refusing to go.  However, there are 26 questions with the tag &quot;potty training on them&quot; so there may be additional useful information in these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the related defiance, I recommend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5620/2876&quot;&gt;How to deal with a child in an &amp;quot;I can&amp;#39;t&amp;quot; phase?&lt;/a&gt; - while this question is about a child going through an &quot;I can't&quot; phase.  It is still about a child not doing as he or she is asked and delivers a variety of ways to approach the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1925/how-can-we-discipline-a-strong-willed-misbehaving-5-year-old&quot;&gt;How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?&lt;/a&gt;  While this question is about a five year old, you still may find some great and useful advice that also applies to your general situation.  In particular, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6448/2876&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; and my &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6456/2876&quot;&gt;own answer&lt;/a&gt; will not be too harsh for your child but may help to break the adversarial cycle you are hoping to break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/399/2876&quot;&gt;Is punishment necessary?&lt;/a&gt; asks if punishments are necessary at all.  There are some fairly strong, but opposing opinions listed here and again, you may find just the piece of information you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/51/what-are-some-suggestions-for-punishing-a-child?rq=1&quot;&gt;What are some suggestions for punishing a child?&lt;/a&gt; Is a much more general question and, I believe, will also offer up some relevant and helpful advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T21:53:47.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2592" CreationDate="2012-11-19T22:29:25.247" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our child had vision problems detected at his 3½ year checkup, and it turns out his eyesight is terrible (we had &lt;em&gt;no idea&lt;/em&gt;). Online eyeglass stores were a boon for this, as small children absolutely destroy - willfully and otherwise - spectacles, and $50/pair is much less painful that $350/pair.  His prescription has changed once in the 18 months since first visiting the optometrist, but the visits have been approximately monthly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both he and his brother had have dental work; because of their young age the surgery required hospitalization. Our normal dentist didn't detect these problems; it was only the pediatric dentist that was sufficiently expert to notice them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can imagine that our specific experiences would have been quite costly in the USA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Purely on my own experience I suggest that prior to three years of age you're not going to detect any inherent problems with your child's teeth or eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastActivityDate="2012-11-19T22:29:25.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6478" CreationDate="2012-11-20T03:26:51.117" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read books that are possible borderlines WITH Alice.  We read a lot together anyway, and since I would be there while reading with her, if she gets stuck, I'm there to help OR if the book starts to wander into territory that isn't appropriate I'm there to make a judgement call or at least answer questions if that is needed as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my daughter finds she isn't ready for a book and isn't interested half-way through, as long as it isn't a book for school, there is nothing wrong with just letting it go and not finishing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though the Halsted Book and the library are wonderful resources, I did feel I should include a little about the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lexile.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;lexile framework&lt;/a&gt; I mention in my question above.  This website was actually recommended to me by our librarian.  It is what she uses since she isn't a children's librarian and they don't have the budget to hire one.  It is a great resource for finding out relative challenge levels about a variety of books.  You can search for books based on lexile score (if you have one) OR grade level and even narrow your options by subject or genre.  Once you find a book you can read the same synopsis (or at least a similar one) as you would find on the back cover of the book.  It is  a WONDERFUL resource that has come in tremendously handy.  The website continues to grow in number of books on it but it is often the case that older &quot;retellings&quot; can't be found, but it is quite comprehensive all things considered and free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have recently come across www.commonsensemedia.org because of &lt;a href=&quot;https://scifi.stackexchange.com/q/49033/10926&quot;&gt;this question on SciFiSE&lt;/a&gt;  I look forward to taking a closer look at the resource in reference to future reading material I might be trying to &quot;preview.&quot;  At this point, the descriptions I've seen there are fairly thin and not all that informative, but It does seem like on more resource for obtaining a &quot;heads-up&quot; when it may be needed.  Overall, she is past the point of needing &quot;pictures&quot; to be interested in a story now opening a much wider array of choices from which to pull her reading experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also use poetry and non-fiction with her a lot.  The combination helps offer appropriately leveled texts such as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/9130/2876&quot;&gt;KitFox suggests&lt;/a&gt; that won't open her up for exposure to content she isn't ready for.  However the poetry brings in metaphorical language (and the symbols and vocabulary that goes with it) you cannot get as readily from non-fiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also with over a year between now and when I first posed the question, I would go back and reassure myself that her &quot;limitations&quot; on what she was willing to read would quickly change and to relax about it a bit and let her just read what she was into for awhile - there were certain requirements for school, but since she is above grade level, &quot;pushing&quot; for further advancement so to speak isn't always an absolute necessity and taking a break from pushing advancement in reading, leaves time to advance in other areas while just enjoying the moment in literature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:43:40.743" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T22:45:05.787" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6637" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6638" CreationDate="2012-11-20T10:36:22.193" Score="2" ViewCount="24459" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just curious:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- Can I start using it from the first day onwards?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- Can I continue using it for a very long time? Any side effects?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- Any advantages to mother and child when using breast milk stored in bottle?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- Using it continuously causes a lack of bondage between the kid and parent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2012-11-20T10:42:01.790" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T22:07:49.723" Title="When I should, and should not use manual pump for breast feeding?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6637" CreationDate="2012-11-20T14:39:30.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breast Feeding in any manner is a good thing for the both of you.  Use the manual pump when you need or want to.  This balance is entirely up to you.  ANY breast milk is better than none - do what you can and don't stress too much about the rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some Disadvantages to your Manual Pump to Consider&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;If you want to bottle feed using your expressed milk exclusively that is up to you, but skin to skin contact between mom and baby is a bonding thing and actually impacts Mom's chemistry (helping her to make more milk) AND baby's chemistry (helping baby to be more relaxed - and I hear through La Leche League, though I don't any studies on it, sleep better).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Manual pumps tend to not get as much as baby or an electric pump would.  Using them - especially a lot - can affect your production negatively.  Pumps have made it possible for working moms to continue their work and still supply the baby with breast milk - that is a VERY good thing, but they do make it a little tougher to make as much milk as you would make without the need for them.  I address how to handle this problem if you encounter it below, but it does take more work.  The more you feed the baby without your pump, the more likely you are to continue to produce just the right amount of milk for your baby at the right time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to Increase Your Production If you Need to&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;If you do have low production and find you aren't making quite enough to keep baby fed, you can use the pump right after nursing your baby (OR right before) to help increase production.  This will lengthen the nursing time and signal your body to increase its production of milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are away from baby, sometimes having a photograph of the baby or the ability to play the sound of it crying while you get started, can actually help your brain do what it needs to do to make your milk &quot;let down&quot; stronger and allow you to produce a bit more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more you can feed baby without the pump, the easier things will be for you and for your baby.  However, a lot of pressure gets put on moms to make sure they are breast feeding and sometimes circumstances make that really hard or even impossible.  While &quot;Breast is Best,&quot; and Pumping is next best - in the end exactly how you handle the feeding of your baby is not the only or even most important factor in his/her health OR happiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-20T22:07:49.723" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T22:07:49.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6639" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6640" CreationDate="2012-11-20T15:07:12.073" Score="-3" ViewCount="167" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a father and society gets a lot of fine insight into what it means to be a mother but I'm curious about those profound realisations fathers have at any stage of raising a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3449" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T15:30:21.670" Title="What are some fatherhood insights?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2012-11-20T15:52:00.063" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6639" CreationDate="2012-11-20T15:30:21.670" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everything you previously thought was important, is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The taste of beer is a distant memory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've never really experienced love until you see your own child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Managing the first month of a new baby is the hardest thing you will ever do. Much harder than those survival courses. But this one you will survive, and it will come oh so naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T15:30:21.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6631" CreationDate="2012-11-20T16:05:27.793" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think balanced mama's response is great.  I was just going to add that we go through similar situations with my son on a somewhat regular basis.  My son is 4 and sometimes he'll hop out of bed and be super cooperative and sometimes I have to practically drag him out of bed and dress him myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At around age 3ish kids hit this &quot;power&quot; stage where they just really want to have some control over things.  This kind of makes sense--I mean, if you had people who were basically making every decision for you wouldn't you kind of want to gain some control?  So it sounds like your son has hit that stage and is exercising control over things he legitimately has some control over--going to the bathroom, getting dressed, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the things that we've tried that have had some positive results:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Letting our son pick out his clothes.&lt;/strong&gt; We don't let him wear shorts in 40 degree weather, but I'll just say &quot;Why don't you pick out a shirt from here and some pants from here and go ahead and get dressed?&quot;.  Then just walk away and leave it up to him.  Go dress yourself, brush your teeth, whatever.  Check back in 5 minutes and see if he's completed that task but just say something like, &quot;So what have you decided to wear today?&quot; not &quot;Are you dressed yet?&quot;  I realize you're not arguing with your son about &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; he's wearing, but giving him some limited choices might spur him on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If our son still chooses to not get himself dressed after that, then I'll tell him he can either dress himself or I will dress him.  This more or less illustrates to him that we always have choices in life--sometimes the choices suck, but we always have choices.  He can either choose to dress himself or he can choose for me to dress him.  99% of the time, he'll dress himself.  But if it's a 1% day you HAVE to follow through.  He won't like it, he'll pitch a fit, and it will probably make for a really crappy day because then he'll be in a bad mood, but next time he's given the choice hopefully he'll make the better one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't ride him about it.&lt;/strong&gt;  As long as he's making progress in getting dressed, I try not to ride my son about it unless we're running really, really behind.  Sometimes I will have to remind him what he's supposed to be doing--especially if he's gotten distracted by something (a toy, a book, a puzzle), but usually just saying &quot;What are you supposed to be doing?&quot; is enough to help him refocus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes if he's having a &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; hard time getting out of bed, I'll sit on his bed and say, &quot;Can I have a hug?&quot; and we'll hug and snuggle for a couple of minutes just until he's awake enough to get up and moving plus he gets a couple of extra minutes with mom before we have to start our day.  This will sometimes get everyone off on the right foot and, thus, make him more cooperative.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:  Just wanted to add, sometimes we have luck by turning it into a game.  &quot;I bet I can get dressed faster than you!&quot; and, of course, you let him win.  My husband is better at this kind of thing than I am.  Beating daddy at anything is always a lot of fun.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I have found that my son's mood directly relates to how cooperative or uncooperative he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for potty training, I suspect this is 100% about control.  He has control over his bowel movements and his bladder, he's just choosing to not use the potty.  I have no suggestions as to how to correct this, but if he feels like he has power over other things then it might correct the potty issue on its own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2785" LastEditDate="2012-11-20T20:49:00.723" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T20:49:00.723" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6637" CreationDate="2012-11-20T20:39:45.950" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Can I start using it from the first day onwards?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, you do not want to begin pumping right away.  In order to establish an adequate milk supply you want to be nursing on demand or using a hospital-grade electric pump if you plan on exclusively pumping.  Exclusively pumping requires a significant time and energy committment because it has neither the emotional benefits of breastfeeding nor the time benefits of formula feeding and most people don't do it unless they cannot breastfeed for whatever reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you plan on pumping along side full- or part-time nursing you do not want to begin pumping until after your child is 2 weeks old.  This is because pumping, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.workandpump.com/pumping.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;at least a lot&lt;/a&gt;, during the early weeks can lead to an &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.llli.org/faq/oversupply.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;oversupply&lt;/a&gt;.  An oversupply of milk can cause problems for both the baby and the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Can I continue using it for a very long time? Any side effects?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As balanced mama &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6638/2146&quot;&gt;eloquently stated&lt;/a&gt;, using a manual pump exclusively can hurt your supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider is that most pumps, manual or electric, do have a life span.  You cannot count on a pump to last longer than a year, although some do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Any advantages to mother and child when using breast milk stored in bottle?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pumping does allow another caregiver to provide breastmilk to the child.  This can be advantageous in a variety of situations.  However it does not necessarily save any time on the mother's part as in order to maintain a milk supply the mother must pump around the time the child has the bottle in order to signal to her body that the milk was used.  Most women do not enjoy pumping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using a hospital-grade electric pump in order to establish or maintain supply if there is a nursing issue is a definite benefit if a mother desires to nurse her child but for whatever reason cannot for a period of time.  However a manual pump will not do a good job of either establishing or maintaining a milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Using it continuously causes a lack of bondage between the kid and parent?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While breastfeeding can certainly promote a mother-child bond, babies who are bottle fed also bond with their mothers.  I'd be far more concerned about the time costs of exclusively pumping and the miserable experience that pumping is than the bonding issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-11-20T20:39:45.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2134" CreationDate="2012-11-20T22:51:31.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems your desire is to save money.  I don't really know in general about comparing online vs. at the store.  It seems as though things like pencils would be cheaper at the store since no shipping is required, but if you are buying textbooks or other reusable items, online and used can be a great money saver.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of saving money, I would also recommend As a former teacher, &lt;strong&gt;Most&lt;/strong&gt; of the supplies a day or two &lt;strong&gt;After&lt;/strong&gt; school has started (At least in the States).  Often the lists are published by the administration and include things the teachers would never have actually included on the list and that your child will not use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure your child has a binder (or filer), pens, pencils, erasers that work and some paper and something to keep it all in.  Generally the first day or two are orientation to the class and don't result in a lot of work anyway.  These basics will get your child through that first day just fine.  Then, find out what the &lt;strong&gt;Teacher&lt;/strong&gt; wants by looking through the paperwork that comes home.  I would also encourage looking for anything major like laptops (I've taught at private schools that &lt;strong&gt;Did&lt;/strong&gt; require these) or specialty items and tools that are sometimes required in the secondary grades ahead of time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The extra advantage?  Not only will you save by not purchasing supplies that aren't really needed, you will also get to take advantage of the clearance bins at the stores or online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-22T17:17:16.510" LastActivityDate="2012-11-22T17:17:16.510" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3131" CreationDate="2012-11-20T23:29:12.353" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have already said, the relationship your child and teacher have, is a direct reflection of your attitude and relationship with your child's teacher.  Stay in communication with the teacher and child and just make sure you are up to speed with what is happening in your child's education&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IF you are asking this because your child is having a problem, the answer is highly dependent on the type of problem AND the child's age and more information is really necessary.  In this case, I can offer up one generic suggestion which will help your children in general in life anyway.  As your kids get a little older, say 9 or 10? but especially by the time they are teens - &lt;strong&gt;Teach your kids how to productively advocate for themselves&lt;/strong&gt;.  This doesn't mean you shouldn't step in and help, but many challenges for kids arise because they think they are helpless to do anything for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I once had a student that was &lt;strong&gt;Really&lt;/strong&gt; upset when she went home with a 98% on a test.  She hadn't expressed to me how upset she felt about it. Apparently, it was her first time EVER answering a question wrong on any test, and she really wanted me to change the score.  Her parents actually called and set up an appointment with me (through the receptionist) and did not say what the appointment was about - of course I was completely baffled.  The parents did not know me well either or they may have handled this one differently as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they arrived and said she was upset and wondering if she could retake the test of course I didn't just offer to change the score and &lt;strong&gt;Test&lt;/strong&gt; retakes weren't allowed, but I was sorry they had wasted so much of our time with such a formal meeting.  Had the girl just come to me straight away, I would have done exactly what I did do which was to look over her grade sheet with her and show her how all her scores averaged out and extrapolated out what this ONE question meant for her overall grade mathematically.  When she realized it wasn't that big a deal she was fine.  She also learned that I was happy to help her work in extra credit projects and other types of options if she &lt;strong&gt;Should Start to Struggle&lt;/strong&gt;.  All she needed do was ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was the most extreme example of times when a child did not feel empowered just to come to me herself.  Usually by the end of the school year, and certainly two years later by eighth grade (approx. 12 years) they were over this, it was usually the ones coming straight from primary that mostly struggled.  This situation was with a young girl that had transferred in mid-year and was in the midst of adjusting to the new school, but you can avoid similar situations and stressors for your child in the first place by teaching them two skills at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I messages&quot; - because it helps keep the other person desirous of helping, and compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help them use &quot;I messages&quot; where they can approach any teacher, parent or even administrator and say, &quot;I need&quot; or &quot;I want&quot; and then negotiate for a win-win resolution.  If you practice this skill with them at home in regard to general household management, they will learn how to do it and be able to apply it to the school environment when the time comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course they will also need help knowing when it is an issue they can handle on their own and when they will need your help, but if you are staying apprised of your child's progress and communicating with both your child and his/her teachers you will be in a position to help if your help is needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you ARE having a problem, set up a meeting.  Teachers are there to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-22T17:13:03.163" LastActivityDate="2012-11-22T17:13:03.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1013" CreationDate="2012-11-21T01:53:45.580" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I spent three years teaching kids that carry a &quot;gifted&quot; label &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; a label attached to a variety of learning disorders.  Almost &lt;strong&gt;every one of them&lt;/strong&gt; struggled with perfectionistic tendencies that became disabling at times - it is an innate tendency in some kids.  My husband and I, have needed to be very careful about with our own (currently six-year-old) daughter for the same reasons you list above.  There are a few things parents can do that can worsen the tendency when it already exists, create a tendency toward perfectionism where one did not exist before, OR &lt;strong&gt;conversely, help their kids try and fail with grace at least some of the time&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say your child is a perfectionist and indicate that she is praise averse when you say she doesn't like being the center of attention.  These are both keys in understanding how to help your child (as best you can) learn to move forward. What has worked for us with our little one, and what I have seen work with countless students with perfectionistic tendencies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Create an Environment Focused on Effort&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that you are focused on her efforts and &quot;journey&quot; as opposed to her accomplishments.  The most obvious way to do this is first to ask the question, &quot;did you do your best?&quot;  If she wins and/or has a great success at something, ask, &quot;did you do your best?&quot;  If she can honestly say she did, celebrate with her.  If she says no, say, &quot;why not?&quot;  Do the same if she fails at something.  &quot;Did you do your best?&quot;  &quot;Yes&quot; - well, lets have your favorite pizza for dinner then.&quot;  I've seen this referred to as a &quot;growth&quot; attitude.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other, less obvious ways to do this include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Minimize &lt;strong&gt;Praise&lt;/strong&gt; and Critique:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of praising your child for her accomplishments, ask her how she feels about them, &quot;what do you think about your soccer team's win today?&quot;  Likewise, if she has had a failure, &quot;What do you think about what happened today?&quot;  If she answers, &quot;I did my best, but I don't know what happened&quot; she is inviting constructive feedback from you.  If she already knows what went wrong, let her make the appropriate adjustments - or at least lead the conversation&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of praising or critiquing your child for something she did, simply notice it non-evaluatively, &quot;I noticed you controlled the ball five times today during the game.&quot;  If she feels that was an accomplishment, she'll feel good about your statement.  On the other hand, if she feels she could have done better, she might say, &quot;yeah I know, I held back.&quot;  Now you know how SHE feels about it and can respond accordingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise and Punish only Effort and even use that sparingly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When critique is required (because sometimes it just is) try to offer her the chance to come up with the alternative.  State what the problem is, &quot;It really bothers me when the house is a mess.&quot;  What you need her to do starting with &quot;I,&quot;  &quot;Therefore, I need you to keep the house a little cleaner.&quot;  Then, invite her to be part of the solution, &quot;How can we work on this together?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make Sure She Has Examples of Success After Failure&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Include Stories from Fiction and From History:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Meet the Robinson's&quot; and its message of &quot;Keep Moving Forward&quot; is a great one.  We also refer to the &quot;Up From the Ashes&quot; song and scene from &quot;Chitty Chitty Bang Bang&quot; which also shows an inventor failing AND succeeding.  How many times did Babe Ruth strike out versus his Home Runs?  Apparently Einstein was horrid in elementary school.  Thomas Edison tried TONS of other options before coming up with just the right filament for the light bulb, or what about Alexander Flemming and his chance discovery of Penicillium?  The &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1020/2876&quot;&gt;example of a quote&lt;/a&gt; from Michael Jordon is PERFECT for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Include Examples from Your Own Life:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Share your most embarrassing moment with her - couched with something good that came out of it - a lesson learned, a friend made . . .  Do the same with all the failures you've had and can share with her in this light (over time, not one sitting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Include Examples from her Own Life:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She didn't always know how to use the potty, she couldn't always dress herself/ button buttons etc.  She had to practice first.  Even if you have to dig deep, make sure she knows she has been through this before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Offer her Chances to Fail in Private&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give her challenges at home YOU know she can handle, but she isn't totally sure about.  Offer a book she is going to think is a little too tough and say, &quot;but I really think you'll like this story.  What if we read it together like in the old days?  You read it to me and if you get stuck you can ask for my help?&quot;  (Totally did this EXACTLY like this with my own daughter to get her to try reading chapter books - NOW Its hard to find books fast enough!)  Then, if something IS a challenge just support her through it.  At the end ask, &quot;Did you do your best? and How did that feel?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When Failures Occur, Treat them as A Learning Opportunity&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, when she fails at something - celebrate it!  &quot;Woohoo, a chance to learn something - okay what is it, what did you learn, or what did we learn from this one?&quot;  Don't be so over-the top that it feels cheesy or she'll feel patronized, but genuinely empathize with her disappointment, embarrassment, whatever and then say, &quot;But you know, the good news is, I BET there is something to be learned here - that's the way the greatest scientists see it anyway.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teach and Model Positive Self Talk&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her see you make mistakes and respond to them the way you wish she would respond to hers: &quot;Oh my gosh! What a mistake I made!  Ah well, everyone does.  I'm going to just keep moving forward&quot; or, &quot;I won't let it get me down&quot; or, &quot;Good thing I know mistakes are often a learning opportunity. what can I learn from this?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her see you try something new and fail: &quot;Oh, singing is So hard - my voice cracked all through my half hour lesson today.  Ah well, I know if I keep practicing, I'll get it&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It will take time&lt;/strong&gt;, but, overtime, these techniques along with just quality attention and time together will make a difference to her.  She may still struggle with perfectionism.  It might still be hard for her to stand out, but it is a lot less likely to cripple her into doing nothing because of the fear of not doing it perfectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-02-02T00:35:08.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5671" CreationDate="2012-11-21T04:18:53.683" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As mentioned above, gas in = gas out.  Make sure you've burped your little one right after a meal to help.  My sister has happily used some sort of gasX like thing for infants, but I'll have to get back to you about what it is called.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On days that gas on the other end is still problematic, you can try a baby yoga move I learned that worked wonders on our little one (six years ago now). It is also supposed to help with constipation.  It may be similar to what you've already tried, but it used to help our Alice get all kinds of gas out of the way and she would immediately feel better and then poop not long after when she was constipated.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lay her on her back and speak softly and cooingly to her to relax her. Gently bend her knees so they are together. Move her knees - holding her lower legs - in a &lt;strong&gt;clockwise circle&lt;/strong&gt;. Make it so her knees gently press into her lower abdomen while you do this.  The clockwise part is the REALLY important part and if rubbing baby's tummy isn't working, the leg &lt;strong&gt;circle&lt;/strong&gt; thing often still does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The move is from the book, &quot;Itsy Bitsy Yoga&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-21T15:41:16.643" LastActivityDate="2012-11-21T15:41:16.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6606" CreationDate="2012-11-21T14:41:43.203" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children at that age often understand a lot more than we give them credit for, particularly non-verbal cues such as tone, facial expressions, and posture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than trying to revise how you use language, to add particular weight to the word &quot;no&quot; (in my experience, it is easier said than done to replace such a common and fundamental word with other terms for all but the most serious situations), try reserving your sternest face and tone of voice for those situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, follow up by getting down to your daughter's eye level (after chasing her down if she runs away), ensuring that you have direct eye contact, and then tell her calmly, but without smiling, that she has to listen when mommy and daddy tell her not to touch things, because some things are dangerous and can hurt her, and you don't want that to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do this consistently, it takes the fun out of the game for her.  She'll see that you are not happy, and pick up on the fact that she's crossed a boundary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took maybe half a dozen repetitions with my son when he started doing the exact same thing, but now he quite clearly understands that when mommy or daddy get the &quot;serious look&quot;, he needs to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just be consistent and persistent, and don't use the same stern tone and follow-up for trivial infractions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-11-21T14:41:43.203" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6649" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6651" CreationDate="2012-11-21T20:09:53.890" Score="13" ViewCount="1348" Body="&lt;p&gt;One set of my daughter's cousins have gigantic stockings, and they often get 3-4 major presents associated with St. Nick.  We have modest stockings and give one toy from St. Nick and one - two presents from ourselves. Additionally, the presents get mixed in with the heaps of presents under the tree which includes another pile to the same children from their mom and dad. I've dealt with the difference in amount of toys with my own quite a bit already and she kinda gets the inequality (and usually sees her gifts as pretty special).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem really stems from the tradition in how the gifts get opened.  Aside from our daughter's present pile being very small in comparison, the tradition is that everyone takes turns opening gifts. This results in everyone else being done about half-way through this one sub-family's presents and all of us watching while they open (it's boring even for me honestly and I enjoy watching others get their gifts more than I usually do opening my own - it just gets to be long) and it is especially long for the other children who are waiting to enjoy their new stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I don't believe in heaping gifts, nor do we think it is our right to ask them not to, but how do we handle the situation with our own child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="35392" LastEditDate="2019-12-14T02:43:32.133" LastActivityDate="2019-12-14T02:43:32.133" Title="What do you do when a relative heaps presents on her children at Christmas and Your kid's pile always looks paltry in comparison?" Tags="|holidays|extended-family|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6606" CreationDate="2012-11-21T21:27:43.550" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use a different word.  We use the word &quot;Stop - no touch&quot; very firmly when we need them to quit touching.  We reserve the word Stop for times when we are 100% absolutely serious and there are always consequences if they don't stop and step away.  The word No is always overused so we tried to pick one that is just as good but not as used. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="88" LastActivityDate="2012-11-21T21:27:43.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6649" CreationDate="2012-11-21T23:29:44.143" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would it be possible to go ahead and allow the other kids to go ahead and start enjoying their presents while this one set of cousins continues to open their presents?  I mean, it seems ridiculous to me that one family is allowed to monopolize the time of everyone else because their parents are spoiling them rotten (ok, maybe they're not, but it certainly seems like they're doing something like that--or overcompensating).  It seems pretty clear to me that at the point where this one family is the only one opening presents, &quot;family&quot; present opening time is over.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a reason why everyone else MUST watch them opening their remaining presents?  Is it just so everyone else can Ooo and Ah over their presents with them? Judging from your comment above, you are not going to be able to change the way that family does things.  So the only thing you can do is change what YOU and your family do (and I get the whole family politics thing.  I have 3 sisters-in-law and 5 nieces and nephews all between the ages of 2 and 6).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps when it becomes clear that &quot;family&quot; opening is over, you allow your daughter to open one quiet toy/book/whatever that she can play with while her cousins finish opening their presents.  The rule is she gets to open one, she can't be loud, and the rest of the presents can be opened once her cousins are done.  Or, if you're concerned that just doing it will offend others, maybe looking directly at the cousin's mom and saying,&quot;You know, (insert daughter's name) has been really looking forward to getting x for Christmas.  If you don't care, I'm going to go ahead and let her open it while you all finish up.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way, you're sort of asking permission, but not really.  I mean what is she going to say?  No, I want to be everyone's focus of attention?  If she says that, then there are other issues at play here.  I'm not saying you just mentally check out, I'm just saying that you don't necessarily provide them with your undivided attention.  Go get some eggnog, check out your presents.  Start flipping through that new book you got.  Whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thought is maybe when family opening time is going on, when you're going around opening presents one at a time, everyone first opens Grandma's gift then Grandpa's gift and so on until all of the presents given sort of universally are opened.  That way the only presents left at the end are the ones given amongst that sub-family and no one else feels obligated to watch cause the outside-family gifts are all ready opened.  Does that make any sense?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-11-22T11:09:37.173" LastActivityDate="2012-11-22T11:09:37.173" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6652" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-22T10:01:32.330" Score="6" ViewCount="89961" Body="&lt;p&gt;This might seem like a funny question, but it actually is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 13 month old daughter started to have constipation and we were trying to figure out what it could have been.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While researching, I found out that you need to stay away from BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Apples, Toast)...the combo that helps you when you have diarrhea. Those four things are actually her favorite. We started to reduce the amount of bananas (she really loved 'nanas') and the others, too and that seemed to do the trick. Upon further research supposedly ripe bananas do not cause constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is...how ripe does a banana have to be so as to not contribute to constipation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.raw-food-health.net/Bananas-Constipation.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.raw-food-health.net/Bananas-Constipation.html&lt;/a&gt; - here's a good reference that talks about ripeness and effects on constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="1922" LastEditDate="2012-11-23T20:12:32.997" LastActivityDate="2016-06-30T07:52:00.537" Title="When is a banana ripe enough to not cause constipation?" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6655" CreationDate="2012-11-22T10:05:47.677" Score="9" ViewCount="917" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13 month old baby wakes up once or twice every night...sits up or stands up in her crib and cries out.&#xA;What could be causing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can't be having nightmares every night. My wife has not weened her from night feedings, so some of the wakings could be due to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, sometimes I can actually talk calmly to her and help her lay back down...and this will put her right back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What causes these night wakings? Could she be sleepwalking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="1922" LastEditDate="2013-02-22T06:28:03.697" LastActivityDate="2013-02-22T12:54:59.727" Title="What can be causing night wakings, similar to sleep walking?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6652" CreationDate="2012-11-22T11:58:31.680" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not a matter of ripeness, if you feed her a banana you're feeding her a banana. The BRATY diet is fine even when a child is well, you just need to make sure she's drinking enough fluids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids often don't feel thirsty, or recognize it when they are, you have to remind them to drink. Make sure there's water available to her, and remind her to drink. Constipation is often more a result of dehydration then diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-11-22T11:58:31.680" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6655" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6653" CreationDate="2012-11-22T15:27:37.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should edit your question to mention the age of your daughter. You mention nightly (breast?) feedings but also that she can stand, so I'm going to assume she's between one and two years old:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't have to be nightmares that wake her -- the dreams can also just be regular positive ones. You know that dreams can feel very &quot;real&quot; and even if they are positive that would still be a very confusing situation to a small child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would explain why you can talk to her, and this communication &quot;resets&quot; her perception of reality so that she can go back to sleep. This also explains why you can get her back to sleep without feeding -- the waking is not driven by hunger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm guessing that nightwalking doesn't look like this, and/or that it doesn't occur at her age. I would not worry about this potential situation until she has a bed that she can get out of and move around your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-11-22T15:27:37.270" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6618" CreationDate="2012-11-22T20:37:19.423" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Infant:&lt;/strong&gt; When my first son was still an infant, I would sometimes take him on my arm and shower with him. My wife would take him out and dry him while I showered myself. He loved the sensation of water falling on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Age 1:&lt;/strong&gt; We have a tub/shower combination so whenever he was done with a bath in the tub (on his own, with one parent watching from the side), we could briefly shower him to clean off that last bit of soap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Age 2-3:&lt;/strong&gt; Since around age 2½ we let him shower by himself, but still supervised. The shower head is moved all the way down to minimum height, which is as far above his head as I like to have it above mine when I shower. He still loves that, and we can tell that he's managing fine so we are now (at age 3) no longer supervising him &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt; but just occasionally, but we do keep the door open and stay within hearing range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Age 4 and up:&lt;/strong&gt; By this age both he and us parents will have built up enough experience to handle unsupervised showers - but still helping with starting and finishing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-11-22T20:37:19.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6657" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9307" CreationDate="2012-11-23T14:27:02.670" Score="2" ViewCount="204" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is in Year 2. I am going to move from North London to Bromley.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I understand, good schools are full and cannot increase class size.&#xA;I've noticed that some junior schools have more places in Year 3 than linked infant schools have in Year 2. For example, Highfield Infant has 90 places in Year 2 but Highfield Junior has 96 places in Year 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When is it the best time to move in the area and apply for Year 3 places (e.g. January, July, September)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3457" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-25T12:25:57.590" LastActivityDate="2019-09-25T12:25:57.590" Title="When to move house to get into Junior School?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|united-kingdom|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6658" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6661" CreationDate="2012-11-23T16:58:06.177" Score="2" ViewCount="600" Body="&lt;p&gt;With the holidays fast approaching, I was wondering about toddler safety mechanisms for families that are traveling.  Bind drawstrings, open outlets and the typical safety concerns might be an issue.  Hotels that aren't generally, &quot;baby-proofed.&quot;  With airline restrictions as they are (and even before said restrictions) it isn't like you can instal latches and bring all safety devices along.  That just isn't realistic.  Are there specific questions to ask when booking hotels that can help ensure a safer stay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-23T18:59:15.487" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T21:22:44.380" Title="How does one &quot;Toddler-proof&quot; hotels while away from home?" Tags="|toddler|safety|travel|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6658" CreationDate="2012-11-23T17:36:26.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hotels are generally pretty safe to begin with, they have to be for insurance reasons. The only issue with most hotel rooms is that the bed has no guards and your child could roll off of them, so ask them if they have bedguards available. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-11-23T17:36:26.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5360" CreationDate="2012-11-23T17:39:29.637" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5366/2876&quot;&gt;Torben&lt;/a&gt; makes a great point, about natural consequences. I agree with Paul Cline about the specific phrasing, but letting the girls experience the natural consequences of their mistake is likely the best medicine for making it stop.  Now, since you mention it isn't the first time this has happened, there is some evidence that perhaps the teasing did not do the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my own daughter tried to cut her hair, I took her into a salon and while the secondary haircut was happening to &quot;fix&quot; the chop job.  I asked the stylist to explain how much schooling she had done in order to learn to cut hair in a way that makes it look good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stylist spoke about hours of practice, we saw a practice mannequin she happened to have in back and Alice got a pretty good lesson in how perfecting a skill takes time, training and practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Removing scissors entirely from her experience is not a good idea because she does need practice using them for fine motor skills development.  We had already limited access to the scissors unless she was watched until we thought we could trust her to use safe scissor practices and had only recently let up on the always watching part.  We returned to monitored scissor use only after her &quot;experiment in styling&quot; and she learned that trust sometimes has to be re-earned when it has been lost (another good natural consequence).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T04:44:00.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6658" CreationDate="2012-11-23T18:29:09.543" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There might also be drawers and closet doors to open, and just maybe a hard corner on a table --  but generally, as GdD says, &lt;strong&gt;hotel rooms are pretty safe.&lt;/strong&gt; I'm guessing the reason is a mix of insurance safety, and theft prevention. There simply isn't a lot to move around or pick up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem is more likely the matter of the &lt;strong&gt;baby monitor's poor radio reach&lt;/strong&gt;; you can't sit in the hotel lounge while the baby sleeps on the third floor. I found an iPhone app that runs on my wife's phone which we leave in the room. It listens, and in case there is a configurable noise level for a configurable duration, it starts a phone call to a configurable number -- which would, in my case, be my cell phone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But better than an app is to just &lt;strong&gt;live on baby's terms&lt;/strong&gt; for the few days you are traveling -- early to bed, early to rise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;As for questions to ask:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some hotels offer cribs, either for free or for rent. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They might also have a hotel wireless phone system that doubles as a baby monitor. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Access to a water boiler and/or a microwave would also be useful.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask for a room near the escalator and/or fire escape. The former will help you get to the room fast if you're in the lounge. The latter will help you get out faster.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask for these things when you book, and when you check in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-11-23T18:29:09.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5029" CreationDate="2012-11-23T19:34:23.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Granted, I did not have to do this with siblings that were my own children, but, in a variety of situations including those where I have charges that are siblings and in the classroom, I have the attitude that &quot;fair&quot; is not a reasonable thing to expect.  The world is not essentially a &quot;fair place.&quot;  Some people have more freedom than others, some people have to deal with more illness than others etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way this applies to children is that everyone is capable of certain things when they are capable.  Of course with new freedoms come new responsibilities as well.  When child X can't steer her bike reliably, she can't drive it to the park even though child Y can because she CAN steer as well as follow a number of other safety rules.  Before she proved she could handle the responsibliities she wasn't allowed to drive her bike to the park either.  When child Y gains the ability to use some new skill, she also has the responsibility to apply that skill in helping with family chores too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure you get the idea, but in essence, what is &quot;fair&quot; is that everyone gets the best opportunity mommy and daddy (or I as caretaker/teacher) can give under the circumstances and considering the abilities AND associated responsibilities of the child in question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;YES, this will result in whining, but when they learn that the &quot;its not fair&quot; argument does not elicit either a bunch of attention from you OR a negotiation period, it will stop being the &quot;go to&quot; complaint.  I will listen if a person offers up an alternative solution that is a win-win, but only if it is not done disrespectfully, on the basis of &quot;fair&quot; or with a whiny voice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-23T19:34:23.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6649" CreationDate="2012-11-23T22:02:55.547" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to the parents beforehand&lt;/strong&gt; Preferably sometime a days or weeks in advance, not ten minutes before they're leaving, discuss your concerns with sis in law. Explain your concerns: your kids feeling jealous, bored, less appreciative of their own gifts, etc. Obviously, your goal is not to stifle your sis in law's generosity (and make sure she knows this), but to help your sis in law teach her children to be more compassionate. You may want to specifically suggest some ideas on how to change the atmosphere. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have them only bring a subset of their children's gifts to the gathering, and perhaps they could open the rest at home, so everyone has a more-equal number of gifts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Perhaps instead of making seperate piles for each child and then opening one gift each sequentially, you pull presents from under the tree at random, and if her kids open two or three presents in a row, whatever, at least everyone will finish closer to the same time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Perhaps a time-limit to group present opening, at which point the children may choose whether they'd rather go play with their gifts or continue watching opening of any remaining gifts. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Or do something similiar at whatever point most relatives have run out of piles, allow anyone who would like to be excused go play while those who want to stay till the bitter end watching opening presents time do so.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Perhaps limit the gifts opened at the family event to only those going between families, and save all the santa presents and mom/dad presents for home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-11-23T22:02:55.547" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6577" CreationDate="2012-11-23T22:05:21.680" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell her the story of the ice cold frozen washcloth, which is so cold that it wanders around in the morning to creep into little girls' beds and get warm. &#xA;Works wonders, especially if you put it in the freezer for a few minutes first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3459" LastActivityDate="2012-11-23T22:05:21.680" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6649" CreationDate="2012-11-24T00:04:52.677" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If money isn't the concern just buy them more presents and just because they would be getting more stuff doesn't mean that you also can't teach them to appriciate it. They only get one childhood&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T00:04:52.677" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6620" CreationDate="2012-11-24T03:15:31.660" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;So of course GdD's answer that there isn't a definitive answer is absolutely true in that no two kids are alike and one must gauge where an individual is at any given time.  Still, there are guidelines of what can typically be expected at certain age levels. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, I have found &lt;a href=&quot;http://thehappyhousewife.com/home-management/age-appropriate-chores-for-kids-printable/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this list&lt;/a&gt; to be fairly accurate in our home, but it is missing quite a few things I believe kids should learn so I will summarize the highlights and add a few things here for the first two age categories (toddlers and preschool) since that is where my kid is at now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The link basically lists helping with the putting away of things like toys, dirty laundry, their own clean laundry, plastic dishes emptied from the dishwasher (and silverware), and wiping of things like lower cabinets, baseboards and simple dusting jobs for toddlers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also found Alice to be very helpful with sorting socks and folding wash clothes, cleaning mirrors and windows (WITH ME) and spotting weeds in the garden.  She also started vacuuming occasionally at three because we have very little carpeting and a light weight canister vac. and she wanted to do it.  She had no trouble helping to load the dishwasher and although she didn't get everything in its &quot;proper place, at three should could even help with setting the table and watering the indoor plants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the preschool category, the link lists things like clearing the table, washing dishes (with help) folding dish towels, watering indoor plants and a few of the items I listed as things Alice did at three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Between 4 and 5, Alice was able to help weed, but we have tough soil, so she certainly could not do this on her own (Nor would I require her to do such a huge job on her own as we have quite a large space), She was also able to help a lot more with meal prep stuff like getting ingredients, washing veggies and fruits, measuring ingredients (with occasional help) and even started cleaning out the sink.  She also started to be able to use a cheat sheet for setting the table and was able to unload the dishwasher except items up out of reach and knives (butter knives were fine and we rarely put the sharp stuff in the dishwasher, but we instructed her to let us handle the sharp stuff or anything really heavy just in case).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alice can't really &quot;make the bed&quot; at this point, but she certainly can straighten her bed.  She also can help with cleaning counters, the table and a number of other kinds of surface cleaning jobs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time she is well into elementary I would think she'll be able to help with most chores and through late elementary and middleschool it will be a matter of figuring out what she can do on her own when.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-24T14:40:01.733" LastActivityDate="2013-11-24T14:40:01.733" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6174" CreationDate="2012-11-24T05:35:59.717" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6175/2876&quot;&gt;Rory's answer&lt;/a&gt; is a wonderful one in its acknowledgement of different age levels and that coming to terms with the death of a pet can actually help later with other deaths that will eventually be encountered, but I disagree with the beginning premise that it is ever okay to lie about it.  A child will figure out your lie eventually and they can feel the pain of the loss all over again when they figure it out later - meaning you are only delaying the inevitable anyway.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the youngest kids (younger than the eight years in question) it is super important to remember they will be very literal about what you say so be careful.  Statements like, &quot;It is like he is sleeping but won't wake up,&quot; can actually create a fear of falling asleep.  Something more like, &quot;you know how sometimes things stop working?  Well that can happen to animals too.  Your dog's body stopped working&quot;  Then you would fill in what you believe happens if that is helpful info like, &quot;now he is in doggie heaven.&quot; can be comforting for believers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Books can be helpful in presenting ideas about death to kids in ways they can understand.  The book chosen will depend upon your beliefs in life after death, but there are plenty of options out there to help the conversation along, but you can also be a little more creative about it too.  We actually used Eric Carle's A House for Hermit Crab when a beloved uncle that believed in something akin to reincarnation died.  I discussed the death with her as an analogy where when the hermit crab gets his new shell he has &quot;gone on&quot; to the next life.  I told her what we believed and what he believed about what the next life was like (She was four).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, have a ceremony of some sort.  Make it a &quot;memory party&quot; and talk about some funny stories about things the dog did.  Discuss qualities about the dog that will be missed.  Let her cry about it a little bit and say good-bye to her dog.  Maybe reenacting one of her favorite activities with the dog one last time to honor his memory?  This will help her honor the memories and let go.  If you let her offer up the ideas about what activity should be included, it will work for her in terms of simplicity/complexity and letting go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T15:28:26.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1503" CreationDate="2012-11-24T15:37:21.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While teething is absolutely a possibility as are a number of things (including just a  developmental change or difficulty with self-soothing),  I wanted to throw this one in the mix.  Apparently, this answer is rarely the solution, but when it is the solution things change very quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister had the same problem and wondered if it was a problem with his milk because they supplement with formula and she had trouble with milk when she was a baby.  The pediatrician swore up and down that wasn't likely.  While talking with Mom and Dad she learned the same pattern existed for herself as a baby and the minute they switched her to acidophilus based milk formula she slept peacefully (and so did they).  My sister switched her son and the problem was remedied within 48 hours!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two hours crying without giving up and going back to sleep - based on the reading I've done and little experience I've had with it myself - signifies something is going on beyond just wanting your attention.  I'd say for the sake your sanity AND the health of all three of you, it might be worth a try to change her milk if you are using anything other than breast milk at this time.  If it doesn't solve the problem or at least improve the problem after three days passing, you know it isn't a digestive problem with her milk and can go back to what you are already using having ruled this possibility out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-24T15:53:34.257" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T15:53:34.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6619" CreationDate="2012-11-24T21:01:10.043" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, she's probably ready. I think the most important criterion in deciding whether or not to try learning to use a knife is &lt;strong&gt;willingness to follow directions&lt;/strong&gt;. If she's not listening to and obeying every word you say, no knife practice, period. That and &lt;strong&gt;sufficient gross motor and fine motor skills&lt;/strong&gt; to control the knife would be important. If she can handle butter knives and isn't a super-clumbsy kid, she's probably ready. Even my 2 1/2 year old begs to learn how to cut vegetables, and we've been beginning to work on learning to cut them together, and that has gone well for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, you may want to have her watch you first up close and see how you cut, and have a dialog going about how you use the knife properly (probably every time you cut), which side of the blade is sharp/used for cutting, where your fingers should be when you cut, how you don't want your fingers near the blade, how you should cut slowly and carefully rather than quickly and carelessly, etc. When I was first teaching my son how to hold the knife to cut, I had him put his hand on the handle, and then I put my hand around his, and I held the veggies, and we cut together, so he could get the feel of a chopping motion, while I was steadying the knife to make sure it went where it was supposed to...build that muscle memory of what chopping should feel like. From that level of joint chopping, you can increase the independence, let her position her other hand safely to hold the veggies, and then help her get the knife in position, and let her do the slicing, and so forth until she's doing every part if it without assistance. Make sure she's standing somewhere stable and is situated high enough to see what she's doing. Stand on a chair or at a lower surface like the table if needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, I would note to match the type of knife to the task at hand. A small knife like a paring knife is going to be much easier for a small child to control, but it doesn't have the heft and weight of a large knife, so it will actually be harder to chop hard vegetables like carrots with than a chef's knife. So if you'd like to stick to starting cutting practice with small knives, make sure you pick something fairly soft (eg: strawberries, bananas, peeled cucumber, etc) that will not require fighting the tool. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, remind her every time you practice that it's very important to have mommy's help when you're cutting with sharp knives so you don't get hurt, and that she needs to come get you and have you &quot;watch&quot; (ie: help to the degree needed) if she wants to cut something, no using the knife alone when you aren't watching. At least, until she's fully mastered using knives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she really wants to learn to use the knife, she will probably be very willing to pay close attention to all the rules that go with cutting, and be willing to learn them. And if not, put the knife away for a while and try again a different week or month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T21:01:10.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6658" CreationDate="2012-11-24T21:22:44.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't bring everything, but you can bring the most important things. If you know your toddler is tempted by outlets, you may wish to pack a handful of plug protectors to cover the most visible ones. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you know your child likes to escape, you may wish to call the hotel and find out what sort of doorknobs are in the hotel room and bathroom. They may or may not be ones that work well with doorknob covers, but if they are, you can certainly throw one or two in your suitcase. Keep in mind you may be able to use security latches that already exist on the door (such as to prevent intruders) to your room/suite that may also work to prevent toddler from escaping, so this may be overkill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But for the most part, hotel room don't have that much stuff in them, and they're so small that you can supervise them easily, so it doesn't end up being that dangerous. That said, I wouldn't leave a toddler alone in a hotel room, but I wouldn't worry too much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also ask about ammenities or supplies they have for toddlers, such as travel cribs/cots (usually a pack'n'play), baby monitors, toddler snack food, whether any lounge areas have toys, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-11-24T21:22:44.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6671" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6683" CreationDate="2012-11-24T23:14:29.567" Score="4" ViewCount="115" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 6 month old is sleeping through the night at home and used to sleep fairly well on overnight trips (with us). However, we have just had two weekends away from home when he hardly slept at all. He was in a pack and play (not his usual one - but one we keep at my parents). My wife would nurse him when he cried and he would quiet to feed - but once back in the pack and play he would cry and not suck his thumb as he normally does when falling asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading some other advice, next time we plan to bring his usual pack and play as well as his normal sheets (for scent). We are assuming this is just a phase that he will grow out of - but what are other strategies to try to help him feel at home and calm so that he (and we) can get some sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3463" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T14:20:05.160" Title="How will an infant sleep best on vacation?" Tags="|sleep|travel|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6671" CreationDate="2012-11-25T00:23:28.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is that element of familiarity which is essential at that young age - if you can make the new environment smell/feel/seem just like the old one, then your child will sleep much better, as they will not be so disturbed at something new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes - it is a bit of a phase, although some kids retain the need for same-ness until much older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T00:23:28.917" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2134" CreationDate="2012-11-25T02:12:11.993" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to save time and effort, buying online is a practical option.  People who prefers to buy online doesn't want to spend hours walking around the mall, looking for the items they need.  They also wants to save gasoline expenses and many others.  When you buy online, you can select wide array of item in just a click in the mouse.  You can also compare the prices easily.  Amazon is a good choice when buying online because there are lots of good deals there.  But sometimes I also look into the direct website of the supplier, sometimes they have good offers particularly if you will buy in bulk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T02:12:11.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2012-11-25T02:19:52.880" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I decided to have a child, I was already old enough to handle the responsibility.  I was 28 when I had my baby, and at that age, I felt that I am financially prepared to support my child.  I was also emotionally and mentally prepared for parenthood, as well.  I did enjoy my single life, and the time comes when I felt that I want to settle and have a family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T02:19:52.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="51" CreationDate="2012-11-25T02:30:25.027" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 22 months old, so whenever he does something unacceptable, I have to tell him repeatedly that it is wrong.  But with his age, I know I still have to extend my patience.  I still believe that the best way to punish children is to delay their gratification.  Like, do not allow them to watch TV, or they will not be allowed to go in a friend's house for a day.  So they would know that you are still the authority, and they should respect it.  I also believe that after punishing, you have to talk to them and explain to them why they have to be punished and what is the proper thing to do.  Spanking is definitely not an option. I also remember what my grandfather told me.  He said never spank or hurt your children physically, or else they will carry the hurt until they grow old, and for sure you will have a strained relationship with your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T02:30:25.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6174" CreationDate="2012-11-25T02:40:39.673" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just let the child go through the process of losing a pet.  It is also a journey for her to cope up with the situation. Encourage her to talk about her pet, because sharing will help her to cope up.   Your friend can also bring her daughter out, like dine-in in her favorite restaurant and or go some out-of-the-town trips, so she can have a change of environment and experience new things.  In time, her daughter will accept it, as long as she goes through the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T02:40:39.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6652" CreationDate="2012-11-25T02:49:58.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.com/about_5398471_do-bananas-cause-constipation-diarrhea.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article on Ehow.com&lt;/a&gt;, it is the ripeness of banana that will determine if it can cause constipation or not.  Green or unripened bananas can cause constipation because it is full of heavy starches that exacerbate constipation.  Whereas, a ripe banana has fiber content which helps in removing the stool in the intestinal tract, so it helps in relieving constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2016-03-21T19:09:10.880" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T19:09:10.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="806" CreationDate="2012-11-25T03:06:50.720" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this article from Ehow.com - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.com/facts_5161650_proper-nutrition-vegetarian-kids.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ehow.com/facts_5161650_proper-nutrition-vegetarian-kids.html&lt;/a&gt;, the author cite examples on how you can ensure that proper nutrition is given for vegetarian kids.  She also mentioned what food supplements to use, and how to ensure that the child can still get the right amount of nutrients.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T03:06:50.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5035" CreationDate="2012-11-25T03:20:31.400" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 22 months old, and I do observe that his weight fluctuates due to several obvious factors like if he get sick he will loss some weight and so on. There are really a lot of possible factors that causes weight fluctuation.  As long as your pediatrician assures you that there is nothing to worry about, you can have a peace of mind.   It is great that you are keeping track of your child's weight, so you can notice easily if there are any discrepancies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:40:41.097" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:40:41.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1921" CreationDate="2012-11-25T03:40:53.013" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is also the same concern I have with my 22 month old son.  When he turned one, he is not gaining that much weight.  As we all know, as this age, they like to run around and explore things.  They are very busy with a lot of things which burn up their calories, easily.  What I did is that I devise a meal plan to ensure that he can get the right amount of nutrients at the right time, and I make sure that this scheduled is followed.  Like I give him a bottle of milk, as soon as he wake up.  When we take our breakfast, he also join us.  He even has his own specially made chair, so he can join in the dining table.  In this way, he is all the more encourage to eat because he can see us dining with him, as well.  I also purchased some baby food stuffs, so if he feels like eating, he can just pinpoint it.  My mom also bought him some chocolates, (I give it in moderation), for energy boosting.  It is also important that your child gets enough sleep and rest, so he can re-charge.  Anyhow, just continue keeping track of your baby's weight, so you would know the progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:40:15.200" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:40:15.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4384" CreationDate="2012-11-25T03:55:16.720" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest it would be best, if your friend consult their family's pediatrician, so she can be given a professional advice on how to deal with the eating habits of the child. In your story, there are several instances when the child ate her classmates food, so I do understand your dilemma.  I just want to share that my brother is attending a special school.  He is diagnosed with autism.  I accompany him in one of the gathering in the school, and I saw an obese child, who cannot control her eating habits.  She has an eating disorder - she cannot control her craving for food.  Thus, it is really best to consult the doctor, so you would know what's the best thing to do.  Hopefully, it is just some eating habits that can easily be corrected through proper training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:39:54.887" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:39:54.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6671" CreationDate="2012-11-25T14:20:05.160" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you've already learned, giving your child as similar an environment as possible helps tremendously, but so does keeping your routine as similar as possible.  If you can keep the bedtime routine as close to normal as possible, that can also make a big difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child doesn't already have a &quot;lovey,&quot; it is also safe to introduce such an item at around this age (before six months, it is recommended not to have anyhting lose or fluffy in babies' bed).  A lovey can be a special blanket or stuffed toy that is used at bedtime (and to save yourselves trouble later, only at bedtime) for snuggling.  Some kids never really take to one, but if yours does the advantage can be that the lovey will become the thing that offers &quot;sameness&quot; while traveling even through the toddler years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T14:20:05.160" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4384" CreationDate="2012-11-25T23:29:13.090" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As many have already suggested - a consultation with the pediatrician is clearly in order.  Start today keeping a food journal (you'll need the sitter's help) of everything she eats because that is likely one of the first things the doctor will want to see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To avoid a bad association for the girl with food, it is important to stress eating in a balanced way.  It sounds like there is some sort of compulsive &quot;thing&quot; going on as opposed to environmental, but it may help to offer foods in smaller dishes.  For example, use a salad plate for dinner and dessert bowls for cereal.  This way, there is just less on the plate for her to gobble up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest everyone in the family use the smaller dishes so she doesn't feel singled out.  Serve the plates already portioned out and leave the additional food in the kitchen so anyone who wants seconds has to get up to get them.  If seconds are desired, they can be retrieved, but then they aren't sitting there on the table asking to be requested.  The pediatrician may or may not believe she should be limited, but this may be a good way to go about it without making it about &quot;diet.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fibers are especially filling/satiating, so adding beans and other forms of fiber to as much as possible might also be helpful in helping her feel fuller (unless there is a problem with the stomach's communication with the brain about being full - which is possible).  For example, add 1/4 cup of beans ground up in a cuisinart to almost any sauce.  I still do this, because lots of fiber just makes for a healthier system.  I also still add things like celery to stir fry, keep apples and jicama around for snacks and basically try to make sure we have LOTS of Fiber (and the water to drink to go with it).  Anabel Karmel has written a number of cookbooks full of recipes with kids in mind and she has all kinds of great ways to hide veggies (best fiber sources along with vitamins and minerals for low calorie content) AND dress them up in ways that make them more appealing to kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would use these ideas In Addition to suggestions by someone with more knowledge and experience - particularly those of a pediatrician and/or endocrinologist and nutritionist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-25T23:42:08.370" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T23:42:08.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5941" CreationDate="2012-11-25T23:55:38.630" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let them choose, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Send them to school with a few items (so they don't go hungry) that are fairly healthy, but not particularly exciting.  If they'd prefer to spend their money on the cards but then don't have it for lets say, pizza day and are bummed that they don't have the money to buy their favorite lunch the natural consequence of not getting to join in with friends for this special lunch will be a lesson all its own.  Just don't save them and give in when they say, &quot;its pizza day and I don't have the money.&quot;  Instead say, &quot;well, next time you'll have to save your money instead of spending it all on other stuff.&quot;  These are the choices life offers us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister and I first started getting an allowance so we could buy juice from the juice machine at school.  However, when we realized that mom and dad provided us with a water bottle for free and we could use the money for other things, we quickly learned how to save our quarters.  My sister's first purchase - a nintendo (the very first system) - mine, a horse.  They'll figure it out if you let them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-25T23:55:38.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5913" CreationDate="2012-11-26T00:15:29.850" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I taught Middle School health for a number of years and had to have these chats with boys and girls.  In addition to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1013/2876&quot;&gt;Zoot's wonderful answer&lt;/a&gt;, I would suggest to this neighbor of yours, having a few extra resources on hand.  The first of these would be a good &quot;girl's stuff&quot; book.  The American Girl's company offers a number of wonderful &quot;girl issue&quot; books that aren't only about menstruation but ALL of the pecularities to being a girl in US society.  I'm not sure who makes, &quot;The Care and Keeping of You&quot; anymore, it might even by American Girls, but it is a wonderful resource when it comes to feminine hygiene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second resource would be a female mentor.  As Zoot also recommends, don't go it alone.  Does she have a &quot;godmother,&quot; special aunt she is really close to or female neighbor you trust and feel comfortable speaking with about girl things and having her speak with?  There will be issues other than starting her period that she will likely see as &quot;girl things&quot; about which she will likely want a female to speak with.  Boys, makeup, frustrations about gender roles and expectations, financial decisions are actually impacted by our gender at times, fashion, even career decisions can sometimes have aspects related to being a girl.  The father should, try to hook her up with a female mentor with whom she can have an open relationship and so can the father (I mean platonic here).  That way if she really wants a girl for something, she has an adult the father trusts to go to rather than just her girl friends (that might have highly inaccurate or counterproductive information).  The relationship can start with a few trips to get nails done, a shopping trip for school clothes or other &quot;girly&quot; things.  Perhaps she and this mentor figure can even go to a few &quot;girl power&quot; movies together over her high school years that the father won't be interested in seeing but she will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T02:43:41.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6687" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6698" CreationDate="2012-11-26T01:22:11.457" Score="3" ViewCount="370" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven-year-old nephew is such a reluctant reader that despite the many teacherly suggestions I have been able to offer his mom and a lot of work with his own teachers he still just won't read.  She isn't yet ready to have him tested for dyslexia or anything, but I wondered if anyone visiting this site might have some additional suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things she has already tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She reads a lot with him already (though she does all the reading while he does the looking).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Working with easy readers that are super short and simple such as &quot;Bob's Books,&quot; &quot;Spots adventures with Dick and Jane&quot; and the like along with phonics awareness curricula.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Using a yellow film over the letters to make the pages easier to view.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having his vision checked.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taking Turns Reading Sentences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Playing lots of pre-reading games such as Down by the Bay.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Book Walks before Reading.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Providing ample choices of books in his interest area.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Introducing him to sight reading of high-frequency words through flash-cards.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually think it might just be there is too much pressure.  He has three older sisters that all read well and read on-time or early and a cousin that is almost his same age that started at three.  It looks to me more like a matter of if mom just relaxes and lets it be for awhile, he might come around, but it is really hard to tell from a distance for sure.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that context in mind, is there anything else I could suggest to her that may be helpful for him to get him started?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Requested Update&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;The mom never did have him tested, but did take the advice to back off and enforcer her daughters backing off.  She instilled a 30 minute period of &quot;reading choice&quot; at bedtime so they were choosing either reading or going straight to sleep in order to make sure there was a time for reading in the house when all was quiet and he had time to himself.  I also suggested she start really focusing on his talents and strengths instead.  They actually installed a back-yard pool and he swims a lot.  They also started celebrating his accomplishments in math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A year later, while math is still his best subject (and probably always will be - nothing wrong with that), he is now reading and doing well.  Thanks for your ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-01T15:06:55.157" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T02:29:48.713" Title="What are some great techniques for encouraging a reluctant reader?" Tags="|education|reading|motivation|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6687" CreationDate="2012-11-26T02:26:35.110" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like she's tried a lot of great things. She would be welcome to check out The Learning Tree by Stanley Greenpsan. It's written for parents to help them understand any learning difficulties their child might have and activities to boost skills. I'm not saying this child has one, but it's a way for the mother to think about possibilities without getting doctors involved if she's not ready for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, some helpful things may be to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;consider if the parents are reading in front of the child(ren) so that reading is viewed as a pleasurable leisure activity for adults, too, not just something adults make kids do.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;see adaptations of books they've read together: plays, movies, etc and compare/contrast&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;read through the dialog in the child's video games if relevant, it can make the game's plot make more sense and it might be something the child is more inclined to go along with&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;make reading more engaging by being animated when the parent reads to the child, use voices and lot's of &quot;oooh! I wonder what will happen next? Can you guess?!&quot; - be sure to leave off at cliffhangers!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;when the parent is reading to the child, be sure to read books that are slightly more advanced than the child could read himself, to keep pushing the limits of his vocabulary and comprehension&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;use books as a reference aid when the child asks one of those typical &quot;why?!&quot; questions respond with &quot;huh, I'm not sure, let's find out&quot; and go to the library to find out or internet if you have to, but better to get a child-friendly science book.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;otherwise, it might help to understand the problem, which is why I recommend the aforementioned book. Is it vocab, phonetics, dyslexia, comprehension, processing, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T02:26:35.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2329" CreationDate="2012-11-26T02:28:33.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have had good luck swaddling our boy from the arm-pits down. We did a full swaddle until probably about 2 months but then he seemed very keen on having his arms mobile. I imagine it may work because he still feels secure (from the chest down), but has the ability to move his arms. He is now 6 months old and we still swaddle him this way. Since he rolls over now, he actually prefers to sleep on his side, sucking his thumb. This would not be possible with a full swaddle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3463" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T02:28:33.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6691" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-26T03:04:17.993" Score="4" ViewCount="91" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are using the Bum Genius Elemental with snaps (not Velcro) and have been having a tough time finding the correct snaps to use as our son (currently 6mo, 23 lbs, 22&quot;) grows. We like the snaps as they are said to hold up better over time than the Velcro option - but they are not as easily fitted. We started out having the best luck with a block of 4 snaps open in the middle and using the middle range of vertical snaps. As he grew, we expanded the snaps to 3 open on each row but then had issues with him leaking through them in the middle of the night (did not have these issues before when he was smaller). Currently we are now doing a hybrid of 3 snaps open on the bottom row and 2 snaps open on the top row but I worry that I might be making him uncomfortable (or causing diaper rash) by going too tight to avoid leakage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any rules of thumb on correctly fitting snapped cloth diapers for the child's comfort as well as being somewhat leak proof?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3463" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-26T05:11:29.027" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T11:20:56.030" Title="Are there any rules of thumb on fitting cloth diapers with snaps?" Tags="|infant|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="608" CreationDate="2012-11-26T03:13:45.267" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the same question, which is how I landed on this page.  My older son is 9, and he is starting to ask a lot of questions.  Instead of flat out lying to him and insisting that Santa is real, I tend to ask him a lot of open-ended questions to get him thinking.  If he wants to still believe, he will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was probably about 10-11 (and my older sister about the same) when I stopped believing.  I never once thought of my parents as bad parents or liars because they told us Santa was real - it was a very magical time, and to this day, I know Christmas is much more magical with believers in our midst.  Part of why I will let the boys hang on to it as long as their hearts want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do a lot to &quot;help&quot; the boys believe...  we leave out cookies and milk for Santa, and carrots for the reindeer.  The boys sprinkle &quot;reindeer dust&quot; in the yard - which is oats and glitter, so they can find us better.  All presents are from Santa, so we don't have to worry about wrapping paper.  Tags are written with my left hand (I am right-handed), and we ring a sleigh bell in the house at midnight on Christmas Eve after the stockings are filled, presents are under the tree, milk/cookies/carrots are gone and letters from Santa to each of the boys are in place.  My sister lives 12 hours away and she gets in on the fun by sending the boys each a letter with a North Pole postmark about 2-3 weeks before Christmas.  And yes, we have an Elf on the Shelf.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's such a magical time of the year, and I will cherish every memory of &quot;Santa-time&quot;, as the boys already do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3467" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T03:13:45.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6691" CreationDate="2012-11-26T08:22:02.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if there are specific or recomended rules of thumb for this, but we have been using the same brand of diapers as you for our son since he was 2 months old (he's now nearly 19 months) and had similar problems with leaking. When he was your son's age, we had three buttons open in the middle and he leaked through during the night approximately 75% of the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solution has evolved over time. At first, we put an extra liner (the small liner, not the big one that normally goes into the pocket) into the pocket to absorb more pee. This didn't eliminate the leaking, but reduced it to happening about 2 days per week. As he got older, the &quot;leak-through rate&quot; slowly started to increase again. We found it helped to &quot;strip&quot; the diapers, but again, it didn't eliminate the problem, it just alleviated it for a while (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=638665&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; for a description of how to strip this brand of diaper). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, what now works 99.9% of the time is to just use disposables during the night. It wasn't an easy decision to make because we had consciously decided to use cloth, but felt that we should try it to reduce the drama and discomfort of waking up due to being wet! We still use the &quot;cloth&quot; diapers during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question, we found that the snap configuration did not have an effect on leakage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3356" LastEditorUserId="3356" LastEditDate="2012-11-26T11:20:56.030" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T11:20:56.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6687" CreationDate="2012-11-26T08:59:40.080" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would make sense for him to be tested for dyslexia/learning difficulties as that's the only thing that hasn't been tried. It may be the case though that he simply doesn't like to read. Maybe books just aren't his thing, he won't be the first and won't be the last if that's the case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to get him tested, and if he is fine simply to back off. He may feel pressured to read even though he doesn't want to, and that could lead to negative associations with reading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2012-11-26T14:40:17.783" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T14:40:17.783" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6696" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-26T13:12:09.343" Score="18" ViewCount="2708" Body="&lt;p&gt;I noticed that some of my friends naturally play with any kids including mine: they have no difficulty finding anything funny to do to them or with them and make them laugh and have fun. By contrast, I'm struggling doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I searched a bit on Internet any websites that helps getting this &quot;skill&quot; to no avail. Perhaps someone here could help ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2456" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T09:55:47.450" Title="Being good or not at playing with kids" Tags="|play|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6696" CreationDate="2012-11-26T13:24:57.323" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't get into the habit of comparing yourself to others, you'll always find someone who is better at some aspect of parenting that you are, and comparing yourself to them will just make you feel bad about yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That isn't to say you shouldn't observe what other parents do and emulate what you think is good (and avoid what isn't), it's a good way to learn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Playing with kids is a matter of going with the flow, letting them play with you rather than you playing with them. Kids are able to have fun with virtually anything, it's how it's done that matters. Rather than thinking how you can make things work let them take the lead. If they chase you run away, then chase them back. Chances are the kids will give you all the cues you need, just don't try too hard, and don't fake it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also don't be upset if it doesn't work as well as it does other people. Some people have the knack, some don't. Some will relate better to some kids rather than others. Don't feel bad about it, it's just life!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T13:24:57.323" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6687" CreationDate="2012-11-26T14:46:34.070" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like there might be a couple of different things going on:  too much pressure and perhaps his mom is taking too much of an active role but in the wrong way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it seems like she needs to spend the time to find out &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he's a reluctant reader.  I know the idea that your child my be dyslexic or have some other learning disability is scary, but ignoring it isn't going to make it go away and will only make the situation worse.  You know this. You're a teacher.  But I also know that you can make every recommendation in the world...parents are going to do what parents are going to do (or not do, as the case may be)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she's ruled out everything else, then if he still isn't super interested in reading she can back off and sort of allow things to evolve naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she, perhaps, reading to him too much?  I only say this because I used to work with a teacher whose son was a reluctant reader.  He simply &lt;em&gt;loved&lt;/em&gt; that his mom read to him and wasn't at all motivated to learn to read for himself.  Gina finally had to tell him that if he wanted to know what was going on in a book he had to learn how to read.  And he did.  He's in middle school and reads &lt;em&gt;The Lord of the Rings&lt;/em&gt; and books of that sort now so clearly this method worked.  Sometimes it takes a little tough love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T14:46:34.070" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6696" CreationDate="2012-11-26T15:30:38.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you were a child, what kind of games or toys did you like to play? Maybe playing those games or with those toys with children will allow you to be more comfortable and get into it. The more practice you do the better you will be at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I spend what feels like a LOT of time sitting with my 2 year old just watching him play, giving him some encouragement for what he is doing from time to time, letting him hand me toys and sometimes I &quot;play&quot; with the toy a bit in a way that I would prefer he played with the toy (quietly, lol).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Playing with other people's children can be a bit trickier, I rough-house with my child all the time, picking him up and jostling him around, making monster noises and such. I do not do that with other children unless I have a very good relationship with the parents, which right now is exactly none. My nieces on the other hand, I can throw them around quite a bit when the grandmas are not around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, try to find games and toys you can enjoy and be flexible with how they are played.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T15:30:38.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6696" CreationDate="2012-11-26T16:05:30.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The age and particular temperment of the child/children you play with will be a key piece in how they react to you.  Not for this reason alone, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6697/2876The&quot;&gt;GdD&lt;/a&gt; makes a fabulous point about letting the kids take the lead, but there might be a few helpful things to know too.  First, I imagining you are talking about kid kids - like 2-9 or so, if that is the case, they love the unexpected and the silly (and sometimes the gross). Some kids also need warm up time, so except for with your kids, consider taking it slow.  What you do to make one kid laugh might totally freak another one out.  Don't take it to heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The funny thing is, we all have an age group we have a &quot;knack&quot; with. I'm generally pretty good with kids of any age (I'm one of those &quot;knack&quot; people).  However, I am &lt;strong&gt;most&lt;/strong&gt; talented with relating to middle school kids.  I can jump in and understand them in ways other adults simply can't - even other adults that also have a &quot;knack&quot; for kids in general.  I can even make jokes that ARE NOT sexual and get them laughing and hooting and believe me THAT is an accomplishment.  However, my husband can make ANY 8 year old giggle till their eyes water - I'll use exactly the same jokes but some how, coming from me the kids just titter a little.  Coming from him the jokes are more effective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With your own kids, just listen.  Figure out what they are passionate about and let them talk about it (yes, until your ears fall off) and then it won't matter to them if you are or are not the funniest/funnest guy on the block.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the others - read Shel Silverstien (ien/ein - not sure) you'll learn a lot.  You could also check out my blog article about being the &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/05/how-to-be-coolest-parent-in-town-five.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;coolest parent in town&lt;/a&gt;, it has a few &quot;habits&quot; and how to instill them including the habit &quot;Be silly&quot; and some ideas for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T16:05:30.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6696" CreationDate="2012-11-26T17:15:33.943" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can indeed feel very lonely watching someone else play with your kids in a way that clearly makes them happy while you are just sitting on the sidelines ignored. Do not misinterpret this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are more the peaceful type (like me), just wait quietly in the sidelines. Some day soon you will see one of yours step out of the bundle of playing kids, walk calmly over to you and sit on your lap, clearly looking for what you have, peace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other types will find similar moments. The story-tellers, the listeners, the shoulder-to-cry-on, each will have their moments, you must be patient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not ever pretend to your kids that you are someone you are not. They will know instantly that you are lying and treat you as unreliable. Be yourself at all costs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3469" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T17:15:33.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6696" CreationDate="2012-11-26T18:21:28.200" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0345442865&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Playful Parenting&quot;&gt;Playful Parenting&lt;/a&gt; is a book with  lots of good ideas. It not only provides different techniques but also helps in understanding why play is important and helps in building connection with the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been following the tips and have had great success in building connection with my kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also look at this book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1594744874&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Art of Roughhousing&lt;/a&gt; which IMO is great!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="86" LastActivityDate="2012-11-26T18:21:28.200" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6707" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6757" CreationDate="2012-11-26T21:56:38.127" Score="5" ViewCount="127" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for information about some of the most common challenges faced by working mothers who are breastfeeding and how to over come those challenges.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does one prepare oneself and the baby for a return to work after birth and what tools (not brands, just which tools) are a definite prerequisite for success?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T14:13:48.100" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T20:25:19.693" Title="Are there any good suggestions for a soon to be mom about breastfeeding?" Tags="|breastfeeding|feeding|working-parents|books|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6708" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-26T22:53:23.970" Score="2" ViewCount="244" Body="&lt;p&gt;In viewing a question about nose-picking, I was considering other habits and how the solutions applied to those habits.  What does one do if the habit is hair chewing? Lip chewing? Nail biting? . . . Are there any universal remedies?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T17:34:22.023" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T16:27:08.390" Title="How does a parent help her kid eliminate a habit? Specifically chewing on hair?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|habits|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6709" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6720" CreationDate="2012-11-26T23:18:53.053" Score="11" ViewCount="756" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nieces and nephew visited recently and I was floored that all three of the girls (including the eight year old) already have their own cell phones.  What really bowled me over was when we sat down to eat and all three girls and their mother were texting all through all our meals (except thanksgiving dinner thankfully ;-)).  My nephew had his DS at the table.  Even my six-year-old daughter Alice was taken aback enough to say something about it to me later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It got me thinking about:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A. When do most kids get their first cell these days?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B. How do parents decide when their kids are responsible enough to have their own personal phone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these questions were answered on SE &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/215/2876&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;;  There were varying opinions, but the general idea I liked most was that they should get the phone when they are paying for it (which also answers the responsibility question).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that still left me with the question,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What limits should be set along with the first phone to help avoid having your own child exhibit such behavior?&lt;/strong&gt; as well as other cell use behaviors that would be equally inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T17:58:11.397" Title="Kids and Cell Phones? What limits should be set along with giving the first phone?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3863" CreationDate="2012-11-27T00:33:23.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;So in addition to the other wonderful advice offered already.  If it is just attention they want, it is often possible to involve your kids in what it is you need to do.  Even if the request is, &quot;Will you play with us Dad?&quot; your answer can be, &quot;Actually, I could use your help with something.  Will you help me so I can get this done?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if you are getting dinner ready, why not have them help by measuring something out?  &quot;rinsing dishes&quot; - yes, you'll probably have to do it again, but still - or just sitting and talking about their day while you listen and do whatever it is that needs doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With Laundry, I always asked my little one to fold washcloths and kitchen towels and to match the socks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if I was creating a shopping list, I had (my own and sitting charges) &quot;write&quot; the list down for me just in case I lost my own list along the way. At three, you will just get scribbles, but that is okay because they can read it to you (and you made your own too).  This often helped me because it prevented the request being made 100 times in ten minutes.  Since I rarely used, &quot;give me five minutes&quot; or &quot;you'll have to wait just a bit&quot; they tended to be more respectful when they did have to wait (most of the time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answers from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3914/2876&quot;&gt;monsto&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3873/2876&quot;&gt;chris M&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3866/2876&quot;&gt;Morah H&lt;/a&gt; all offer up great ideas for how to delay things when &quot;doing with&quot; absolutely will not work (like finishing up that argument with the ex - ahem).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T14:26:53.353" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2012-11-27T00:49:37.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For some reason, scrambled eggs are a lot more palatable than other preparations for MANY kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also try &quot;soft boiled&quot; dippers.  Give toast cut into sticks to dip into soft-boiled egg.  There is also something about finger foods and dipping kids really like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also a lot of wonderful ideas that I would have added if they weren't already here, like @mmr's idea to include him in the prep and @KitFox and @Saied - My daughter's favorite has become a scrambled egg sandwich over the years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T00:49:37.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6709" CreationDate="2012-11-27T08:38:41.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A. When do most kids get their first cell these days?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/215/how-old-should-a-child-be-before-getting-their-first-cell-phone&quot;&gt;How old should a child be before getting their first cell phone?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Hint: It boils down to the maturity of the individual child, plus the parents' overall policy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;B. What limits are usually set along with the first phone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would be a great question all by itself. Could you please open a new question for this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;C. How do parents decide when their kids are responsible enough to have their own personal phone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See question linked under A.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;Set to wiki answer so I won't get rep for this.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T08:38:41.233" CommentCount="5" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-11-27T08:38:41.233" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6696" CreationDate="2012-11-27T09:55:47.450" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't have a huge amount to add to the other good advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't remember where I read it (a blog somewhere) but something struck a chord with me that I always think about during play - you have to learn to be &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;child-like&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; with children. Get down on their level. Pretend. Be silly. Joke with them. Sing daft songs. Casting aside your adopted adult inhibitions goes a long way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2070" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T09:55:47.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6714" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-27T10:06:51.360" Score="5" ViewCount="541" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes we send our toddler son to his room, either to calm down or because he has misbehaved and we need some distance. &lt;em&gt;Our aim is not primarily the punishment, but rather to have him calm down and/or get him out of our way.&lt;/em&gt; This works well and usually everything is fine 3-5 minutes later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't have a &quot;naughty step&quot;, &quot;naughty corner&quot; or whatever location is often mentioned in such time-out methods. He wouldn't stay there anyway, but staying in his room works fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are we creating a &lt;strong&gt;negative link between &quot;time-outs&quot; and &quot;his room&quot;?&lt;/strong&gt; How can we avoid that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-28T10:33:40.743" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T10:33:40.743" Title="How to avoid association of child's room with time-outs?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|time-out|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6714" CreationDate="2012-11-27T10:21:15.707" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only way to avoid that is to not send him to his room. The reason he'll to to his room but will fight to go to a naughty corner is that there's stuff to do in his room, which may defeat the purpose of sending him to it. It is also his place, his domain, so going to it has less sting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will sending him to his room make him associate his room with punishment? Probably not. Is it an effective deterrent against bad behavior? Probably not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T10:21:15.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6714" CreationDate="2012-11-27T10:23:27.207" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a problem, both in associating their room with punishment, or alternatively in not being seen by them as a punishment, perhaps if they are happy reading in there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the very start, we did have a naughty step (and usefully enough, this can move so there is a step or corner in any building which can be the naughty step :-) - and its value is that it is in a place which is boring/away from fun etc., but clos enough that the kids can see/hear that everyone else is enjoying themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our rule was always a 1 minute per year of age timeout for minor infractions and if they left the naughty step we'd reset the counter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Amusingly, the strongest reinforcement we had on this was when my father-in-law accidentally swore in front of the kids (I think he spilt his hot coffee down himself) - and he was sent there for an hour. I think he enjoyed the peace and quiet, actually :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T10:23:27.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6707" CreationDate="2012-11-27T11:15:05.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you  want to continue breastfeeding your child once you go back to work, you need the whole bottle supply chain:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A pump&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plastic bags to freeze pumped breast milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many women recommend a photo of your child that you look at while pumping. This releases some hormones that support the 'milking' process&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Equipment to keep milk pumped at work cool until you can freeze it (fridge, or cool packs)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Equipment to unfreeze/heat the stored milk (a pot with boiling water works just fine, but there are also solutions especially for this purpose - for a price, of course)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bottles and nipples &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bottle and nipple sterilizer (a pot with boiling water works just fine...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you prepare for it -  well, I suggest practising all the steps involved some weeks before you actually go back to work: The pumping, the freezing, bottle sterilization, unfreezing, heating, and bottle feeding. Try to make the situations as close to reality as possible, for example pump when you are not at home, and your baby is away, have someone else give your baby the bottle while you're gone etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way you will discover all the things that are missing in the list above, and what can go wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T11:15:05.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6714" CreationDate="2012-11-27T12:17:57.773" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can work on not making it negative since it sounds like that's your goal. Positive discipline calls it a positive time out - invite the child to take some space to calm down. Beforehand, brainstorm with them what/ where would help them calm down. Is it coloring or reading or listening to a certain cd? Empower your child to learn self-regulatory behavior! Prompt them with &quot;hey you seem pretty upset, I'm thinking your cool down spot would help calm you&quot;. Or whatever you call it. Soon they will recognize themselves when they need to go. You just need the &quot;I'm wondering if some time to cool down would help before we talk about this?&quot; as he gets older. Always ensure the child decides when he is ready to come out! It is not a punishment, it is for him to practice paying attention to his own emotional state! When he comes out, smile and ask him how he's feeling. Encourage self-reflection whenever possible. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure why time out is used as a punishment but it defeats the purpose. The long term goal here is having the child recognize when their emotions are out of control or in the way and what to do about it. Since your child is a toddler I believe, you will need to prompt them quite a bit in the beginning, but remember you are teaching a coping skill, not punishing them. If they had the skill in the first place, you wouldn't be in this position!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, their room will be seen as a calming, personal and reflective space. I have created this &quot;cool down couch&quot; in my AfterSchool program of traumatized refugee kids with little self-regulatory skills and it worked wonders! These kids were not lacking in the punishment department, nobody had tried just connecting with them and teaching the missing skills! Same with my inner city middle school kids with huge gang influences. It's a wonder what some improved self-awareness can do for a kid! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, for when YOU need a break? You should go to your cool down space :) &quot;I am feeling too tired, I'm going to go to my cool down spot and relax for a few minutes. Could you help me by playing with your toys in your room so I know you're safe?&quot; Or something along those lines. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to clarify: when your child is older (preschool+), I don't &lt;em&gt;send&lt;/em&gt; them to time-out, I am &lt;em&gt;genuinely asking&lt;/em&gt; if their cool down spot would help. If they say no, then ask, &quot;what would help you cool down?&quot; Even just naming their feeling can help them feel felt and alleviate their distress right away. &quot;You seem upset&quot; , &quot;You look angry&quot;, &quot;I think you might be jealous&quot; - and it helps build emotional literacy which is a key component of self-regulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T00:48:23.813" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T00:48:23.813" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3863" CreationDate="2012-11-27T12:42:09.057" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As usual, I love @balanced mama's answer, but to add:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schedule special time once weekly with each of your children. Let them suggest several activities and you choose one from their list that you could agree to. Going to Starbucks, playing games, working on projects (a car, treehouse, etc) are examples. Even if its just an hour a week, your child knows they are a priority and that spending time with you is fun. This is a fantastic way to bond with your child and to keep it up through the years. The key is that it is something you both enjoy doing and that it provides opportunity for conversation (ie not movies). Both parent should do this with the child separately, and it should be a consistent, regular schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is far too easy for life to get in the way of quality time with each child so scheduling it really helps ensure it happens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The younger your child when you start, the better!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T12:42:09.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6709" CreationDate="2012-11-27T12:57:53.243" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think cell phones are inherently the problem here, it sounds like a lack of manners being taught. I mean, they could just as easily have been reading books during dinner. I can't imagine anyone would argue not to give your child books, but that doesn't mean there isn't a time and a place for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what you can do about someone else's kids/family except to say &quot;oh, in our house, we don't bring toys to the dinner table.&quot; Maybe it will be awkward for a second, but at least they will know and I'm sure they'll forget the awkwardness as soon as they start eating. Also, being willing to speak up when there's a problem teaches the watching children to do the same, which is critical for addressing bullying in our communities. Model respect and firmness at every opportunity :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If its your child, I think whether to give a phone or not is a personal preference. But certainly teaching manners goes right along with it. For me, the only reason they'd get a phone before age 13 is emergencies and to call their parents. The phone wouldn't be able to call anything else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 13, I would let them call their friends etc on the cell phone but they'd need to understand the billing cycle and any rules like nights &amp;amp; weekends free, minutes allowances, etc. I'd deal with immaturity on this issue the same way I would with anything else. Respect, firmness, connectedness, transparency, communication, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this gets at your question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T14:05:10.360" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T14:05:10.360" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1027" CreationDate="2012-11-27T14:23:02.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can actually be counter-productive to try to explain anything to a four year old during discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the example you give of taking the toy from his brother I am sure you have tried taking the toy, handing it back to the brother and stating simply, &quot;Your brother had that first.&quot; in a calm fashion.  I'm guessing the result was a tantrum.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My take on that one is let him have the tantrum but he has to have the tantrum in his room (or wherever is reasonably convenient) away from you and from brother.  He can come back to play when he is done having a tantrum and ready to follow the rule that he may not take toys away from brother.  No explanation necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll have to deal with tantrums for a little while, but if you stay strong, don't give in, take a deep breath and enforce calmly he &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; get the point without you needing to force eye contact, lecture, or lose your own cool.  If he needs to have a conversation with you where you explain the rule, be open to that &lt;strong&gt;after&lt;/strong&gt; he is calm and ready to talk.  This is the time to label his emotion as jealousy, to negotiate with &quot;replacement toys&quot; and to discuss turn-taking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T15:23:36.607" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T15:23:36.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6722" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6725" CreationDate="2012-11-27T14:23:10.250" Score="14" ViewCount="45192" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-year-old son is generally exceptionally well-behaved and polite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was saying &quot;please&quot; and &quot;thank you&quot; at a very early age, and would apologize if he had problems sharing or accidentally hurt someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, now at 26 months, he has started to really push our boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most recently, he refuses to say &quot;sorry&quot; when he hurts someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On one occasion, he was playing too rough with me, and pinched my neck pretty hard.  I said &quot;ow, that hurt.  You've got to be careful.  Can you say you're sorry?&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On another, he was bouncing on the bed when he landed hard on my wife, and hurt her.  She also asked for an apology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both times he said &quot;no!&quot;, laughed, cried, covered his eyes, ran away, and generally avoided apologizing.  We kept insisting that he apologize, and I tried explaining to him that sometimes you can hurt someone by accident, but that apologizing showed that you didn't mean to hurt them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He asked &quot;why?&quot;.  I tried simplifying it, saying that &quot;good boys say sorry so they don't hurt other people's feelings&quot;.  He then said he wanted to be a bad boy.  I said &quot;people don't like to be around bad boys&quot;.  He said &quot;why?&quot;.  I said &quot;because they hurt people and don't say sorry.  People don't like to get hurt.&quot;  However, he responded by saying that he liked to get hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, I can't tell how much of this is him just testing boundaries, and how much is him simply not understanding the concepts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the past, taking away the toys he was playing with was usually enough to get him to apologize, but that no longer works.  Last night he was put to bed about 30 minutes early, with no bedtime stories, because &quot;bad boys don't get stories read&quot;.  However, we still got no apology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best strategy for getting him to apologize for when he does something that hurts someone?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T17:38:21.903" Title="How do you handle a toddler that refuses to say 'sorry'?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6722" CreationDate="2012-11-27T14:40:49.173" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think forcing him to say sorry is the best strategy. This teaches him that saying sorry regardless of whether or not he means it is acceptable and 'fixes' the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, at 26 months, he has just turned 2. I would:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;role model by making sure you say sorry when appropriate&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;encourage him &quot;uh oh, you hurt &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_, can you say sorry?&quot; is probably fine&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;most importantly, &quot;uh oh, you hurt &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_. We are helpful, not hurtful. What can you do now to help him?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will encourage the child to focus on the problem at hand. You can help him brainstorm things like, get a bandaid, get an icepack, rub the  hurt child's back, etc. Or, thigns like getting another toy or building a new sandcastle for the child if he has just broken theirs etc. Spending time actually helping the other person helps him to see them as another person with feelings just like him. Saying &quot;sorry&quot; doesn't actually mean anything at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age he is old enough to start using bugs &amp;amp; wishes, too, which I have mentioned elsewhere in this forum. &quot;It bugs me when you &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; and I wish you would &lt;strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; instead.&quot; YOU can say this to him, too. It works both ways. The responses available are &quot;I'm sorry&quot;, &quot;I didn't know&quot;, &quot;I didn't mean to&quot;, &quot;I'll do &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_ instead.&quot; Though at this age it's best to keep it short. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets older, the brainstorming will include things like working to pay for something stolen, lost, etc, writing a letter/cards of apology, etc. Basically, working to solve the problem, not just saying sorry and running off. In my classrooms, sorry is for accidents (like, when you bump into someone by mistake, etc) and these are rare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, also understand that it's not going to be perfect overnight and will take a while. &lt;strong&gt;Children don't typically develop theory of mind (the ability to see others as people with their own thoughts, feelings, and perspectives until age 4. When the child starts to lie successfully, you'll know they have reached this milestone (you don't lie until you realize that people can hold different knowledge of events than you).&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T14:40:49.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="347" CreationDate="2012-11-27T14:53:46.533" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to make sure you are responding to his &quot;I don't want to eat that&quot; then. Otherwise, you've left him with no choice but to up the ante.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T14:53:46.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6722" CreationDate="2012-11-27T14:56:15.090" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;At two he probably doesn't fully get the concepts regarding apologizing.  At this point it is only a habit he does because you taught him to.  At his age, he is testing the limits of his control.  He is finding out what you can enforce and what you can't.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He probably feels bad that he hurt you, but doesn't want to be forced to express the bad feelings.  Sorry, when you really mean it, can actually be really hard for a lot of people to say (one of the reasons I am not a proponent of forced apologies or eye-contact).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you are essentially headed in the right direction on a parallel track to the one you are intending in your discussions with him about &quot;good boys&quot; and &quot;bad boys.&quot;  Instead, I wonder if you might use more of an approach where you speak about your feelings - especially in regard to trust.  &quot;When I get pinched, and it hurts it is hard to trust that person won't hurt me that way again.  If the person who did the pinching says, 'sorry' it is like saying, 'I'm sorry I did that, I won't do it again.'  If you say 'sorry' and don't do it again, it is easier for me to trust you and want to hang out.&quot;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trust is a tough concept for kids too, but if, after a discussion like that, he still doesn't want to apologize, he'll have to suffer the consequences of lost trust.  Maybe it will mean you don't want to wrestle or rough house anymore - until he shows that he can learn where the boundaries between fun rough-housing and hurtful rough-housing are.  He'll have to answer the question, &quot;how do I get dad's trust back?&quot;  He can answer it through an apology or maybe he'll come up with another good alternative, but this is a more true-to-life consequence that will teach him a lot about interpersonal intelligence in the end.  It is probably one he will learn in multiple ways at multiple times throughout his growing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T23:53:49.553" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T23:53:49.553" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1435" CreationDate="2012-11-27T18:33:19.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, I don't think you can operate a &quot;successful&quot; (with considerations for the long-term development of the child) star chart. Since you asked for &quot;better ideas,&quot; I propose:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;connecting with your child by setting aside one-on-one time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;being kind (read connected, respectful, etc) and firm (known as authoritative parenting style, not to be confused with authoritarian)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;non-evaluative statements that encourage the child to reflect on their own behavior instead of somebody else's evaluation of them. This looks like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you washed the car this weekend. Thank you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you put your toys away.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you didn't really eat much at dinner&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;encourage your child using the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I appreciate _ &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Thank you for _ &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I have you seen do _ before so I know you can _ &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I have faith in you&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for why reward charts, praise, etc don't work, I recommend reading Carol Dweck's research as well as Brene Brown. Both of them just released books that are very accessible to the average reader. Basically the problem with praise/rewards is that (and most of these apply to punishments too, which is why I use neither):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It invites the child to wonder what is so wrong with them that adults around them have decided they need personal cheerleaders?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It invites the child to choose between the reward and their sense of dignity, putting them between a rock and hard place, holding a double-edged sword. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It encourages the child to become a puppet/people pleaser and invites perfectionism and &quot;praise-junky&quot; behavior that leaves the child desperate for others' approval  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It discourages the child from trying new things as learning is fraught with mistakes and disappointments and the child hasn't developed the coping skills for this, and may become afraid of disappointing others and not getting praise. This is what Carol Dweck calls a &quot;fixed mindset.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It can lead the child to confuse between &quot;I &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; good&quot; and &quot;I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; good&quot; which maybe doesn't sound that bad until you consider the flip side of &quot;I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; bad.&quot; This is what Brene Brown defines shame as and it can have debilitating effects lasting into adulthood. Her work parallels nicely with Dweck's.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;And, lastly, it doesn't actually teach any skills so at best is a waste of time. Rewarding &quot;good&quot; behavior, isn't the same as teaching conflict resolution, self-regulatory, emotional literacy etc skills and this can show up later in the classroom environment especially.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, bottom line, &lt;strong&gt;sticker charts and their ilk may seem &quot;successful&quot; in the short term, but in the long-term have unintended consequences and may cause quite a bit of harm.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I recommend running your household the same way you would an ideal office environment: with dignity, respect, shared vision, transparency, communication, consistency, structure, trust, compassion, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, none of this means you can't celebrate genuine accomplishments but these are not planned beforehand and instead arise naturally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, each of these: &quot;sustained reduction in fighting, consistently less nagging required at getting dressed time, regular help with laying the table etc&quot; warrants a separate question and should be dealt with by teaching the required skills. A sticker chart does not &lt;em&gt;teach&lt;/em&gt; conflict resolution skills which require complex behaviors, attitudes and skills, for example. I'd be happy to answer each of these questions directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-28T15:37:55.350" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T15:37:55.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6727" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6753" CreationDate="2012-11-27T21:56:13.070" Score="9" ViewCount="2465" Body="&lt;p&gt;The girls insist on opening presents for their younger cousins and brother at birthday parties where the family is included.  While this was acceptable when the younger cousins (and sibling) were too young to actually open their own gifts, it really isn't anymore.  The mother has taken to appeasing them by allowing them to open one gift for their cousin that is the honored guest on a given day.  This includes when she is not the hostess and has nothing to do with any of the party planning or anything.  Don't ask me how they get invited to any one's parties because I really don't know.  It seems this SIL's friends invite them all the time (perhaps she enforces better behavior at her friends houses).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These same cousins have also broken a brand new toy and chopped the hair off a brand new barbie doll that was a gift.  When confronted, the mother's response?  &quot;Well, she'll never notice anyway, its not like it was a favorite toy or something.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-05T06:15:24.517" LastActivityDate="2013-01-26T08:13:53.833" Title="What do you do with the cousins who, at birthday parties insist on opening the presents when they are not the guest of honor?" Tags="|discipline|extended-family|party|presents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6727" CreationDate="2012-11-27T22:07:40.753" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If my child was the guest of honor, and I was the hostess, I would just say &quot;No, it is so and so's birthday.&quot; You can say it to the cousins and avoid the mother if you want. Probably better to have this conversation in advance with the mother on the phone. &quot;So, I know in the past we've let them help open presents, but it bothers me because.... Instead, could we &lt;strong&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;? (Or, I'd like to....).&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they get mad and stop hanging out with you, even better it sounds like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could make sense when they're all toddlers, but even then I don't think I'd do it. I mean, they're already getting invited to a birthday party where presumably they are participating in the rest of the festivities. If this new ground-rule bothers them too much, they don't have to accept the invite (same with the rest of this family's issues you've mentioned before).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, I think you need to talk with your husband about this one and decide together what your stance is and stick to it. A united front is always best, just like in parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T22:21:26.880" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T22:21:26.880" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2012-11-27T22:14:32.917" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am having trouble with my 14 moth old daughter as well. She crawls very well and got that 'down pat' when she was 10 months. She does very well walking around the coffee table as long as she is holding on to it (she does pretty well with only one hand) as well as a Winnie the Pooh push train that she loves and will go from one room to another as long as she is holding on to it. my mom did buy a pair of shoes that are designed to help with balance while they learn. They seem  to be doing well but i  would also like to get her to stand barefooted as well. I have heard of a few things that parents have done to help their children as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3479" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-27T22:47:21.257" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T22:47:21.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2012-11-27T22:23:31.330" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of our daughters have loved their Jolly Jumper. It's very fun for them to bounce up and down, and they get used to being upright and using their legs from a very early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know about the size of your daughter and if it is still appropriate for her (my first stopped at a little over a year) but it might be worth consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T22:23:31.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6731" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-27T22:42:21.283" Score="3" ViewCount="5295" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 7 year old (2nd grader) really struggles with getting his work done on time in class, and when he does finish things his work is really sloppy (handwriting, coloring, etc.) When he comes home he has to finish his homework and we'll make him re-do anything that was sloppy. We've tried explaining to him to slow down and do things right the first time, not just rush through them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think a lot of it comes from the fact that it is something he really doesn't want to be doing anyway, so he wants to finish it as quickly as possible. We've tried explaining to him that he's not saving any time - in fact, it's taking longer than it would normally because he has to re-do it. In many cases he doesn't get as much time to play as he'd like because of it.  So he's seeing the repercussions of his decisions, yet continues to make the same decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can actually do a good job when he isn't rushing through things; his reading is excellent and his math skills are good as well. He's more than capable of doing the work when he slows down a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to help him with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3480" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-11-28T07:05:15.683" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T07:05:15.683" Title="How can we help our 7 year old learn to stop rushing through school work?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|homework|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6731" CreationDate="2012-11-27T23:05:40.133" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he is already experiencing the natural consequences of not having play time, which I think is appropriate, but I would also &lt;strong&gt;investigate why he's not able to finish the work in class in the first place&lt;/strong&gt;. Is he easily distracted, overwhelmed, over-stimulated, confused, etc? Could you ask the teacher, observe him, ask him? I'm happy to provide strategies for whatever you find out at that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is &lt;strong&gt;his&lt;/strong&gt; problem, not your problem. (To ease your stress, not getting hw done in 2nd grade isn't really going to cause lasting harm while he figures this out. Better now than in HS).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be empathic and encouraging:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;You seem frustrated &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; I have faith in you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;This seems hard for you &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; I know you like a challenge.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you want to finish quickly so you can play &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; I know how proud you feel when you've done your best work.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Prompt reflection after he's 'finished'&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Is this your best work?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;How do you know this is (not) your best work?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What does it feel like when you do your best work?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Avoid jumping in to rescue him, but help him be his own judge:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you rushed through your homework tonight.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you double-checked your homework tonight.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I noticed that you were able to re-do the work and fix it so I know you know how to do this math/spelling/etc.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At a time &lt;strong&gt;separate&lt;/strong&gt; from hw time, start a conversation with genuine interest and respect:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I notice you tend to rush through your homework a lot, and then it isn't really your best work. What is happening for you?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you want to finish homework quickly so you can play &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; I notice that rushing through your work and having to spend time correcting it is actually cutting down on play time. I wonder if it would be faster to just give it your best the first time through?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What does it feel like for you when you do best work?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What does it feel like for you when you turn in work that is not your best?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What would help you remember to slow down and do your best work? For me, sometimes lighting, music, a desk, etc/whatever can help.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a change in schedule may help. Some kids really do prefer to come home, have a snack and play for a predetermined time, and then do homework. This can be more effective than the reverse. In my after-school programs, I provide kids the choice of doing homework first or second. Be sure to have a set schedule agreed in advance and keep a timer if he doesn't know how to tell time. (I know this is hard to give in to, but really, if the goal is to get the homework done, does it matter when?)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-27T23:05:40.133" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6733" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-28T02:16:17.477" Score="10" ViewCount="1043" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are a Brazilian family in Brazil and therefore we speak Portuguese. I can  speak English reasonably well but my wife is just learning it now. We want our 9 months old son to learn English, too. However, we only use Portuguese at home and there is no environment where we speak English naturally, so I bet we will have to resort to English classes (and help at home, of course).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/67/what-are-some-strategies-for-raising-a-bilingual-child&quot;&gt;There&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/15/how-do-you-handle-bilingual-education-in-a-country-where-you-do-not-speak-the-la&quot;&gt;are&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4295/reading-in-second-language-for-a-bilingual-kid-how-to-approach-a-phonetic-lang&quot;&gt;a&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1695/are-there-any-studies-about-whether-learning-to-read-in-two-languages-is-slower&quot;&gt;lot&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6316/does-teaching-your-child-sign-language-improve-his-emotional-health&quot;&gt;of&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1829/will-getting-child-care-from-a-non-native-english-speaker-impact-my-childs-lang&quot;&gt;questions&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/189/what-television-shows-could-i-show-my-toddlers-to-encourage-multilingual-learnin&quot;&gt;about&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3824/should-i-stop-teaching-my-toddler-a-second-language-if-his-exposure-to-it-will-b&quot;&gt;multilingual&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1761/how-can-we-improve-a-trilingual-toddlers-basic-language-development&quot;&gt;children&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4612/how-do-i-encourage-my-toddler-to-work-on-his-spoken-language&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; but none of them seems to approach the precise point I want to understand. So, my question is: what would be a good age to start to teach a child a foreign language? What would be good ways to teach such a language to a child? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2265" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-11-29T07:46:15.487" Title="At what age is it appropriate to start to teach a foreign language / second language - and how to do it?" Tags="|education|bilingual|language|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6735" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-28T06:42:11.773" Score="12" ViewCount="71014" Body="&lt;p&gt;We put him to bed at 9pm and he stays up til 1am or later. When I go to check on him he is always playing with his hands and sometimes talking. I ask him why he is awake and not trying to sleep and he says it's because he just wants to play. He never comes to tell us that he is having a hard time sleeping or that there is anything wrong. The weird thing is that he used to be the first one to fall asleep out of 3 boys and the staying up started a few months ago. He does this every night and on top of keeping us awake, he is now waking up his brothers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About a month or so ago, we decided to punish him by grounding him from video games. He doesn't want to be grounded, but he still keeps doing it. Nothing we do seems to be helping and it seems to be getting worse. I have talked to him about why it is so important to get enough sleep and why it's even more important for kids. He also gets plenty of exercise and time to play during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm really starting to wonder if he is doing it just to be defiant. If anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that he is being disruptive to everyone in the house and it has been EVERY night for the last 3 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is tired and emotional during the day, and it is causing his brothers to be tired during the day while they are at school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because he is tired during the day he doesn't really want to be as active as he used to be. However, I do still encourage him to be active. We have always had a bedtime routine. We have asked him many different times if he is just having trouble sleeping, if he is uncomfortable, and if there is something wrong. He always tells us that he just wants to play. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the beginning of all this he told me that he wants to be the one to decide when he goes to sleep and when he wakes up. Which is why I would even ask if it was out of defiance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We really didn't want to get to the point of punishing him, but nothing else seemed to help and it was only after he started keeping his brothers awake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not like we haven't asked him what he thinks would help or what would help him sleep better. He ALWAYS says that he just WANTS to stay up and play because it is fun. We know it is important for him to get enough sleep, and I'm worried because I don't think he is (and he's preventing the rest of us from getting enough, too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3481" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-11-29T16:35:53.323" LastActivityDate="2016-09-01T11:13:51.853" Title="My 8 year old son won't fall asleep" Tags="|sleep|primary-schooler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6733" CreationDate="2012-11-28T07:12:31.020" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Any&lt;/strong&gt; age &lt;strong&gt;Please&lt;/strong&gt; start right away!  It is great for your child to have even just exposure to another language.  Others will disagree and talk about exactly how to achieve fluency, but my take on it is, exposure no matter how small is better than just plain old monlinguism.  Since you speak English pretty well, if you used English with the baby 24/7, it would serve to teach your baby the sound of English even while he/she also learns the sounds of Portuguese. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As babies listen to the sound of the adults in their first year, they have the capability to hear and learn to repeat every sound of any spoken language, but their brains (for the sake of efficiency) are growing rapidly and along the way sounds they don't hear and the nerve centers that react to those sounds will not develop making it harder to pick up those sounds later in life.  Expose, Expose, Expose - listen to English radio if you can, watch world news online in English if you can . . . It can only help your wife learn more of it faster too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your baby grows, it will become critical if you want true fluency to create an environment that includes both English and Portuguese text, AND for you to continue to use English with her.  If your wife uses both and the baby's friends and other family members are all using Portuguese she'll be fine in both languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get a copy of &quot;The Bilingual Edge&quot; I highly recommend you check it out, it will have all the tips and suggestions as well as studies you need and even offers up ideas for resources, clubs, online communities such as this one etc in its appendices.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T07:12:31.020" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6733" CreationDate="2012-11-28T07:23:35.950" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the key is to &lt;strong&gt;provide as much language exposure as possible&lt;/strong&gt;, but in a natural way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Natural sources&lt;/em&gt; could be enrolling the child in an English-speaking Kindergarten, TV shows in English, frequently having English-speaking visitors or babysitters, etc.&#xA;If you don't have any natural sources of English, then it's up to you alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm faced with a similar situation in regard to learning English specifically. I'm in a German-speaking country and nobody ever uses English. My toddler is currently learning both his parents' languages so we will add English later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that even very small children can tell the difference between languages, so it would be okay to speak Portuguese with your son some of the time, and English some of the time -- but I also believe that &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/137/109&quot;&gt;you must be native speaker&lt;/a&gt;, or equal to it:&lt;/strong&gt; you've got to know all the words you're ever going to need!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also provide English-language materials, like books, DVDs, and toys. If you like electronic, talking toys then consider getting one that talks English. When you start showing DVD's like &lt;em&gt;Bob the Builder&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;the Barbapapas&lt;/em&gt;, why not have them in English rather than in Portuguese? Later, when computers become interesting, only have English software.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T07:23:35.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6735" CreationDate="2012-11-28T08:20:50.690" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids go through periods where sleep is hard to come by from time to time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest taking a few steps with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First.  Does he have a routine for bed-time still?  They still need a calming ritual.  My own daughter is allowed to read to herself for about twenty minutes and then she has to turn the light out to &lt;strong&gt;try&lt;/strong&gt; sleeping.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask him what he thinks is up with the not sleeping thing when it is daylight and just you can talk.  Do this when you have time to sit and listen.  He very likely doesn't really know what is up and is playing at night because he is bored since he can't sleep.  Allow him some time to think through things.  You may need to sit silently waiting for answers to questions like, &quot;why do you think you aren't able to sleep.&quot;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You might need to give him some time.  As you allow this time for thought and are quietly listening, if there is something he is anxious about, you are demonstrating that you aren't mad and just want to help and building trust.  He will come around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Point out that his current way of dealing with being awake at night is preventing everyone else from getting sleep and how unfair that is.  State this using an &quot;I&quot; such as, &quot;I'm worried none of you are getting enough sleep, but it is especially unfair to your brothers who could be.&quot; Then follow your statement with what you would like without giving an answer, &quot;Is there a way you could do something that would be calm and more likely to help you get back to sleep sooner as well as allow your brothers to continue to sleep even though you are awake?&quot;  Perhaps he would like a book light and some books to read.  Perhaps he could have some headphones and some calming music to listen to.  Who knows what he'll offer up.  Listen to it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leave the conversation not having made any decisions.  &quot;Lets continue to think about this and brainstorm and then we'll talk about it again same time tomorrow and make some decisions about what to do.&quot;  He might think of something else while you are all &quot;away from it&quot; to add to the conversation because he will feel less pressure when not engaged in the conversation in the moment.  You can use the time to consider options he brought up and options you've considered and what you think is a realistic solution and what won't work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you meet again, let him speak first.  &lt;strong&gt;After&lt;/strong&gt; you've heard anything else he has to add propose your plan - that hopefully uses elements of what he has said.  Put the plan into action and see if it helps.  Give the plan at least a week.  If it isn't working, revisit and start again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FYI Sometimes there can be a shift in hormones (they aren't only for adolescence), a growth spurt, a spurt in learning that causes his brain to be over-stimulated so it has a hard time down-shifting at night, shifting adult teeth as they get ready to push baby teeth out of the way, or even a change in his stress level that is subtle and not easily detected even by him but cause temporary bouts of insomnia.  Less sleep isn't necessarily a problem for him depending on the route cause (which none of you may ever know).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is still functioning fine the rest of the day, he may not need the sleep right now.  As long as he isn't keeping the rest of the house up, you are probably better off coming up with ideas with him for options for how to spend those awake hours in the middle of the night.  Of course his options should be quiet and not bother others, but also be soothing and the kind that are likely to allow his brain to calm down and let him sleep too.  Punishing him is likely to leave him in a lose-lose situation where he is stressed out because he knows he is &lt;strong&gt;supposed&lt;/strong&gt; to be sleeping but can't &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; is bored out of his mind because it is dark and he is supposed to be quiet but he is wide awake and can't do anything about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some Ideas on Dealing with his waking of others:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideas for a &quot;consequence&quot; for waking the others if that aspect of it continues to be a problem even after all of the above steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps he misses out on something cool (a play-date with a friend for example) so he can to do some chores that other members of the house would normally do to allow his family members to &quot;catch up on sleep&quot; that has been missed because of his loudness and activity at night.  Whatever you decide to do in this regard, I suggest making sure it is purely a consequence for having awaken every one else, and not for not sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to go with a sillier idea, but one that will probably be well remembered into his adulthood, I suggest [Mrs. Piggle Wiggle][1].  Have you tried letting him stay up all night for a night or two?  I know it isn't the healthiest thing in the short run, but what if he is allowed to build with legos, read, etc. in the family room - no TV, nothing loud.  Then, when everyone else has been allowed to sleep and yet he feels horrible, you can ask him if he knows why he isn't getting along with his friends and brothers anymore.  You can ask him if he can figure out why he feels awful and then swoop in as the heroes that really do know what is best for him that create the rules in order to help him stay healthy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might even read the Piggle Wiggle books together.  Actually, I found a hulu clip that shows the [&quot;Never go to Bedders Cure&quot;][2] on a television show that depicts Mrs. Piggle Wiggle.  (I had no idea they'd put this classic on film!!).  It doesn't follow the book to a tee, but you'll get the idea anyway.  The actual &quot;Never Want to Go to Bedder's Cure is in the first book, &quot;Mrs. Piggle Wiggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-14T23:00:03.223" LastActivityDate="2013-01-14T23:00:03.223" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6735" CreationDate="2012-11-28T10:25:06.630" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Punishing him for not not sleeping is entirely the wrong way to go! If he's not sleeping maybe he's not tired, or he's being woken by something in his environment. Punishing him will a) (if done on the spot at the time he's not sleeping) reinforce the behavior by giving him attention, b) make him feel like something is wrong, making it harder for him to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had some sleep problems when I was a child, and I began to be worried there was something wrong with me, and I became nervous about sleeping and upset if I couldn't sleep, which of course made it even harder to sleep. My mother was supportive and told me not to worry, which helped. If she'd punished me it would have made it much worse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look at his environment and see what may be waking him and see if you can figure out anything that may be interrupting his sleep. Get him out of the house for some exercise, and make sure there's no caffeine in his diet closer than 8 hours to bed-time. Din't punish him and make him feel bad about it, because if there's one thing kids don't do it is defy their parents by keeping themselves awake. Kids need sleep, and although they may fight bedtime they generally like sleep. Be supportive, but don't dwell on it, and the problem should resolve itself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2012-11-28T12:55:14.163" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T12:55:14.163" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6735" CreationDate="2012-11-28T11:58:00.943" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't understand the problem? This is not defiance. You can't &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; him go to sleep any more than you can make yourself go to sleep sometimes. All you can do is request that he stay in his room quietly so as to not bother anyone else or endanger himself. To this day I read agatha christie books when I can't sleep and it helps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brainstorm a bed time routine with him that includes brushing teeth, PJ's and a story, plus any other calming rituals you have (lullaby, bath, etc) and then the rest is up to Mother Nature. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect medical issues, seek a doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may be experiencing a growth spurt which can interfere with sleep, but will pass. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, he may have a lot of information to process from the day and this may be keeping him up. Does he have opportunity to talk about his day with you in a meaningful way? This would probably help if this is the cause. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he is 8 I assume he is in school... Is anyone bothering him there enough to keep him up at night? You said it started a few months ago, that would correlate with the beginning of a new school year I think. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By punishing him, especially for something he likely can't control, you are encouraging a power struggle. It wouldn't be a stretch for him to &lt;strong&gt;start&lt;/strong&gt; staying up in defiance to you precisely because you started punishment. When you offer a child a choice between dignity and defiance, lets hope they choose defiance.  Instead of punishing, focus on the actual problem and why this is YOUR problem. If he's not bothering anyone, either a night or during the day with crankiness, then it's really not your problem. Be there as guidance and resource when he has problems and you will set up a much healthier dynamic that will hopefully last you through the teen years!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, since you say he is waking up his brothers, do exactly what @balanced mama said and include him in the process. Just telling a child what to do, doesn't actually allow them to practice problem-solving skills or prepare them for independent adulthood. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-28T12:03:54.257" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T12:03:54.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6735" CreationDate="2012-11-28T15:02:26.483" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the excellent posts all ready given, I wanted to add my own experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a TERRIBLE sleeper until I was probably 9 or 10 years old.  While my problem wasn't necessarily falling asleep, I can tell you that around age 7 or so my sleeping problems began centering around my own imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While scary movies and stories affect all kids, they REALLY affected me.  I would go for months after hearing a scary story or catching part of a scary movie on TV unable to fall asleep because I was so scared.  And I knew that my parents thought my fears were trivial and ridiculous and I should just get over them and they were getting irritated with my refusal to go to sleep every night and I never wanted to tell my parents why I actually couldn't fall asleep.  Add to that the fact that I &lt;em&gt;knew&lt;/em&gt; intellectually that the stories and the movies weren't real and I just felt ridiculous that I was so terrified by them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can tell you that, to this day, I cannot watch most horror films.  After seeing &lt;em&gt;Thirteen Ghosts&lt;/em&gt; a few years ago (on TV in the middle of the day) and the subsequent sleepless nights that followed, I swore off of them altogether.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seeing as we just came off of Halloween and all the fun-filled scary shows and movies and ghost stories and haunted houses that accompany it, is it possible that this could be part of what is bothering him?  It might take some work to get him to admit it, but it could be part of the problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T15:02:26.483" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5806" CreationDate="2012-11-28T15:47:50.653" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;WOW!  you have a lot of answers here and I admit I did not read every-single one, so I apologize up front if I'm duplicating.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5815/2876&quot;&gt;Rory&lt;/a&gt; sums up the gist of what I would recommend, but I would add a few tweaks in this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your child the number of bites that match his age as the rule to enforce &quot;trying.&quot;  I believe he is two now, so he should try two bites of every new food.  Put about three to four bites of everything he will be given on his plate.  If he takes two bites of everything and wants seconds on some part of the meal that is his favorite, he has done his job and can get a little more of the parts of the meal he likes.  By giving him a couple of extra bites of each thing, if he does like it, he can enjoy a few extra bites, if not, you aren't setting yourself up with a kid that thinks he has to finish everything on his plate (bad news later on)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you speak about eating habits with your son, always stress (I know, &quot;groan&quot; right) &lt;strong&gt;balance&lt;/strong&gt;  You give him equal amounts because a healthy diet is one that is varied and includes lots of &lt;strong&gt;different&lt;/strong&gt; yummy things.  We also spoke with her about good manners include trying the food a trusted and loved person has made for you without a big fuss.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A Food he won't try gets served at &lt;strong&gt;every meal&lt;/strong&gt; until he tries it satisfactorily.  He will soon learn that if he tries his two bites the first time, he doesn't have to look at the food over and over again for the next expanse of time.  After he has tried a food (and not liked it) wait a month or so before attempting another try.  This sets up a natural reward system that is only somewhat contrived and not contrived enough that at this age he will notice it.  He then feels as though it is his decision, even though in reality you are setting things up so that he will eventually decide to try.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I agree with Rory and bobobobo that a child will not go hungry to their detriment at this age.  They can be ravenously hungry and eat everything in sight and then hardly need any food the next week because of the way growth works, but they actually are pretty good at knowing what they need when we let them listen to their own little bodies (and don't introduce tons of sugar, fat or salt - which it seems you are being cognizant of).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you wife feels horrible about just saying, &quot;but you didn't eat dinner.&quot;  Why not replace that with, &quot;Okay here are your left-overs&quot; and then re-warm them?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said in chat, this worked really well for us until Alice figured out she could just gorge on breakfast.  If that happens, seriously just serve the left-overs for breakfast - problem was solved for us within two weeks.  She now (sometimes grudgingly) tries six bites of everything she is given without any sort of fight and then moves on to eating more of the parts she really liked.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also add that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.annabelkarmel.us/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Anabel Karmel&lt;/a&gt; has a number of great cookbooks that offer tons of ideas about presentation of foods that makes them &quot;fun&quot; and more appealing for kids - including specifics for this age group and creating &quot;finger foods&quot; for them is &lt;strong&gt;one&lt;/strong&gt; way she goes about appealing to their tastes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raising our own veggies and then having Alice help harvest clean and wash them also made a huge difference in her outlook toward the foods.  I believe @Rhea mentions this general idea from what I skimmed and I second the notion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ADDITIONAL FIND:&lt;/strong&gt;  Since I originally wrote this answer, I have also encountered food &quot;pouches&quot; which are working really well with the 11 month old I currently care for - who will only eat what he can feed to himself at the moment.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sproutorganicfoods.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sprout&lt;/a&gt; is the company the family I work for uses most for this purpose and I must say there is some really healthy stuff in those pouches!  One of the baby's favorites is the broccoli mash and he happily eats one that has Kale as a main ingredient as well! - so long as he is the one holding the pouch.  Perhaps, using a product like this in conjunction with other efforts will reassure you he is getting the nutrition he needs, while allowing him the freedom to feed himself (without as big a mess?)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;btw - I have a much easier time getting this little one to let me feed him than his parents do too - I'm much more willing to let him be hungry for a little  while (we are talking 15-20 minutes tops here, I really do mean a &lt;strong&gt;little while&lt;/strong&gt;), feed him the stuff he hates first and then give him what he likes last than mom and dad are - I think it is part of the natural order of things - so don't feel alone on the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-02-11T04:49:18.713" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1435" CreationDate="2012-11-28T16:13:13.357" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a big proponent of such charts and reward systems for the reasons listed in @Christine Gordon's answer.  However, before I learned some of the alternative types of techniques she mentions I did use a few with students.  If you still want to use such a system, you might try something along the lines of, &quot;I have to catch you getting along at least 8 times today for you each to get a star/ticket/sticker/mark whatever&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They can't point out the good behavior or it doesn't count.  You have to actually &quot;catch&quot; them at it.  The over-all advantage to this is that the sticker chart actually winds up rewarding you for noticing when they are doing well.  When you do see them doing well, simply stating, &quot;Oh, I notice you are getting along right now&quot; or &quot;Susie, I just saw you try to look for a compromise&quot; each child receiving the observation knows a sticker is coming with the observation, but also gets that observation in the moment that you noticed it - a reward unto itself for all of you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jim McKieth's idea of including them in the brainstorming is a great one, if you haven't already determined rewards etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-28T21:14:43.550" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T21:14:43.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6745" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6752" CreationDate="2012-11-28T16:25:25.317" Score="8" ViewCount="470" Body="&lt;p&gt;I thought this question might be a good complement to a question posted about a child that pretends to choke when he doesn't like a certain food.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/347/2876&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; and its answers mostly address the choking behavior, but what about the dislike of the food in the first place?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/347/2876&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; has some great recommendations for toddlers and preschoolers really, but what about the somewhat older child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you get a child between six and the upper limit of being able to influence such things in the first place, to give new foods a try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-10-01T22:50:55.970" Title="How do you encourage your primary-school-aged child to eat new foods?" Tags="|discipline|food|eating|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6746" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-28T17:35:43.187" Score="6" ViewCount="90" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/825/how-do-i-cope-with-my-toddlers-jealousy-towards-her-newborn-brother-and-sister&quot;&gt;How do I cope with my toddler’s jealousy towards her newborn brother and sister?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sibling rivalry &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; occur, but there must be preventative things that can be done to help the first child to be more accepting of the arrival of the second and get the sibling relationship started on the right foot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What practices did you use that you believe to have made a difference with your own kids?  What do you wish you had done because you think things may have been easier if you had?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T19:56:28.547" Title="When the new baby arrives how do you help the oldest sibling adjust?" Tags="|siblings|newborn|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2012-12-17T17:53:47.673" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4849" CreationDate="2012-11-28T18:21:19.547" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At about that age, my daughter was so good at keeping herself awake, her babysitter would fall asleep sitting on her bed rubbing her back and &quot;helping her&quot; sleep.  ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would come home and find &quot;Uncle Chuck&quot; (A beloved mentor of my husband's we miss very much) asleep in her rocking chair and Alice Laying awake, eyes wide open.  It was quite comical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, We had a whole routine as others have mentioned.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I did give her an eye mask like you mention in another similar question. The mask did not have any strings or elastic or anything, it was more of a little pouch and she had to lay on her back for it to work.  The pouch was also filled with lavender (which provided a relaxing scent). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, we played, &quot;lullabye renditions of Led Zeplin&quot; for her to fall asleep to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth, we had to make sure it seemed as though nothing special was happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is about the age that kids start to realize the world keeps moving even when they are asleep and their eyes are closed.  It is fairly common for them to worry about missing out on things.  My sister used to have a rule that she just had to stay in her bedroom after bedtime so mom and dad would often find her sleep right by her bedroom door as if she'd fallen asleep trying to hear what was going on without her (which she eventually confirmed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made sure we were &lt;strong&gt;super boring&lt;/strong&gt; after bedtime for awhile.  No conversation, no laughter etc.  We read books, did work on the computer, even sat in her rocking chair with a reading light and just quietly read while she fell asleep (or in the case of Uncle Chuck - fell asleep before her).  Once she was convinced she wasn't missing out, things got a little easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T18:21:19.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6577" CreationDate="2012-11-28T18:23:18.793" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a terrible early riser myself, I've recently begun paying attention to my sleep cycles a bit more.  Generally, the hardest part about waking up is when you wake up from a deep sleep.  Most adult sleep cycles last somewhere between an hour and a half to two hours.  Kids generally have much shorter cycles (possibly only 45 minutes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to wake your daughter at an appropriate time (during the light sleeping part of the cycle) is to have two alarm clocks.  The first alarm should be softer, and play something not terribly jarring (I use &lt;a href=&quot;http://youtu.be/OzzJZs--YZM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;When You Dream&lt;/a&gt; by the Barenaked Ladies for my personal alarm clock).  Typically this will only wake her if she's in a light sleep.  If she wakes from this, she should get up then.  If she doesn't, you should have another &quot;real&quot; alarm probably ~15 minutes later (for an adult, the recommendation is 30 minutes, but I'm guesstimating a shorter time given shorter sleep cycles). The first alarm should have started to rouse her from a deep sleep if it didn't wake her, so the second should be less jarring.  It'll probably take a couple of weeks to really get used to it, but hopefully she'll be more willing to wake up if she feels more refreshed waking from a light sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that said, even though I feel better when I wake up using this method, I still hate getting up in the morning, and I don't usually feel better until I've either showered or eaten breakfast.  Some alternative motivation may be necessary, such as Josh's suggestions regarding his kids' comfort levels when leaving the house in whatever clothes they had chosen for them and possibly without finishing breakfast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2805" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T18:23:18.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6733" CreationDate="2012-11-28T18:27:27.203" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will answer, quickly, to say that in addition to @balanced mama's answer, there is a lot of useful information in a book I just read called NurtureShock about how to improve babies' language skills in general (I don't know if these techniques apply to older children, this was all for babies, like the 0-4 crowd). Basically, children learn language/vocab the fastest/when:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You expose them to language by engaging with them, talking to them, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;But, this was new to me, the biggest difference is when you &lt;em&gt;respond&lt;/em&gt; to their baby-talk. Talk to them as if you are having a conversation. Like, they say &quot;goo goo gah gah&quot; and you say &quot;oh really? how interesting! we'll have to tell your mother about that one.&quot; etc. It sounds silly, but apparently this is how they learn the &lt;em&gt;flow&lt;/em&gt; of language and conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The other big lesson for me was to pay attention to what your baby pays attention to. So, when they look at a tree, say &quot;tree&quot;, when they touch your nose, say &quot;nose&quot; etc. Be as spot on to their attention as possible. Delays can actually be harmful because they will associate the word with the wrong thing (apparently this is quite common).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The high pitch baby talk we all do naturally is apparently helpful as well&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Here's a big one: when they hold up a spoon and make a noise that sounds like they're trying to say &quot;water&quot; don't respond to what you think you &lt;em&gt;hear&lt;/em&gt;, respond to what is holding their attention. &quot;Yes, that's a spoon!&quot; Apparently these vocalizations don't actually sound like the intended word, but they use the same muscle movements so it's like a workout for their throat. Makes it tricky for us adults listening! But associating the wrong word for them again is confusing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you speak to the baby, change your grammar around like:&#xA;&quot;Can you give the toy to daddy?&quot; , &quot;Yes, you gave the toy to daddy!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;ie you are changing the order, sequence, tense, etc. (hard to think of examples off the top of my head but the book gave plenty)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So while this doesn't directly answer the foreign language question, I think it answers the language acquisition in general question. Since your child is (hypothetically) learning two words for everything (&quot;tree&quot; and whatever it is the native language), this is why bilingual babies are a little slower in the beginning with language from what I understand. Meaning, they get confused a bit early on, but they figure out which word to use with &quot;tree&quot; based on who they are speaking to. But the long-term gains speak for themselves from what I understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, I think other common convention, especially from Stanley Greenspan's work, is to be pretty animated when you are working on specific skill-building with a child, and let them &lt;strong&gt;see your mouth&lt;/strong&gt; especially when you are teaching language skills. Babies are hard-wired to be fascinated by mouths/faces and they learn best when they can mimic your mouth shape. Plus, being animated keeps them interested/excited which a big component of Greenspan's Floortime approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T18:27:27.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="825" CreationDate="2012-11-28T18:49:37.887" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on the ages you can do different things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my first daughter was born, her older bros were 9 and 11. That's far enough apart that I didn't have to do to much. I just told them they were getting a sister and we'd need their help with... stuff. Kids that age pretty much have a cemented personality and know their role in the parents life and here comes another kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, you may find that the older sibling simply couldn't care less. They might be like &quot;yeah I have a baby sister, she sleeps a lot&quot; and exhibit none of your typical symptoms of the jealous older sibling. Remember that you're not obligated to do any of this stuff. It just depends on your situation. As a parent, you're just as obligated to &lt;em&gt;do nothing&lt;/em&gt; with the older kid if they don't need anything extra.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But since kids and families are different, here's some things for a proactive/preventative conversation. For all age kid...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Babies require a lot of maintenance&quot; which is code for &quot;we'll be&#xA;paying a lot of attention to the baby&quot; without using the word&#xA;&quot;attention&quot; which can set an undesirable expectation. &quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;You're still my/our [kid] and I/we still love you.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say something about the baby shower, the seemingly endless stream of baby-gifts and the doting attention from others. &quot;Nobody has forgotten about you, it's just that babies are shiny and new and people act differently around them.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You might prepare family and visitors by mentioning to not forget little Finn just because baby Marceline is around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For children, say 4-7, the above is applicable but since they aren't as developed mentally, it will be more of a challenge. I would say that you could enlist their interaction whenever possible so that it's &quot;&lt;strong&gt;we&lt;/strong&gt; have a baby&quot; instead of just the knot of flesh that &quot;took my mommy&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child can read, have them read the bedtime story.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they like to sing, have them sing at bathtime... or diaper change, or at feeding, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have them be the helper when you're doing those regular maintenance things... getting towels, pulling out butt wipes, breaking down the diaper, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do this for a while, and &lt;em&gt;watch&lt;/em&gt;. Observation, more than anything, will tell you what you need to know about the older kids mood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you know what else? Congratulations! As a wise old man once said &quot;You have taken your first step into a larger world.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T18:49:37.887" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6745" CreationDate="2012-11-28T19:03:49.520" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a convo with my elementary kids about this a couple yrs ago. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explained the difference between foods we eat; there's Cake, Kibble and Crap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply put nobody likes Crap. Crap is different person to person. But you can't figure out what the Crap is without trying things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone loves Cake. But you can't survive on Cake. So between Cakes you eat Kibble. Kibble is what you eat to keep you alive so you can make it to the next Cake. &lt;em&gt;(yeah there's more to it than this, but this is the way I talk to my kids and even my 5 yo got it that it was a humorous twist on a very basic part of life).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kibble isn't your favorite, but it's not Crap either. Sometimes it's kinda tasteless and needs some salt or mustard. But it is what it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;And since variety is the spice of life, sometimes ma will fix different things for the daily Kibble. All I'm asking you to do is just &lt;em&gt;try it&lt;/em&gt;. Not eat an entire plate of portobello mushrooms or a bowl of chitterlings, just try it. If you like it, great. If you don't like it, well that's fine too. Just understand that just because it doesn't taste like Cake that doesn't automatically mean it's Crap.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The night I had that first conversation was the first time I made pork chops for them. They'd never had them and were all about &quot;I don't like it&quot; before it ever reached the table. What they meant was &quot;I don't like it because it's not corndogs. I want corndogs.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now we have porkchops regularly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T19:03:49.520" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6727" CreationDate="2012-11-28T19:23:07.897" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a territory problem, but not I don't think in the obvious way...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's your kid, it's the territory between your house, your rules, and the other kids family's way of doing things. It's all about domain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming we're talking about elementary aged kids. There's a lot to be said about what kids know at that age that can't be quantified. Whether or not they act like they know it is another conversation, but there's tons of rules and order that is imposed at school that they follow every day. You can and probably should use that routine sense of order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before the gift opening part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alright kids, new rule. My house, my rule: Only Finn gets to open Finn's gifts. Nobody else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Well can I&amp;quot; &amp;quot;No.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;What about&amp;quot; &amp;quot;No.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the inevitable bitching. That's when you pull out the paraphrase of the golden rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Marceline, treat other people the way you want to be treated. Would you want Finn to open YOUR gifts at Christmas? No you wouldn't. He feels the same way here.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now... based on the comments to the OP, it seems that this may put you in a bad way with their parents. But the bottom line is that you're not setting family rules for their unit, but you're setting domain rules for your domain. And there's no part of this conversation where you will be in the wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're pissed at me because I won't let your kid open my kids bday gifts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course that's getting outside the scope of this post and the forum...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-01-26T08:13:53.833" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6709" CreationDate="2012-11-28T19:41:03.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 yo girl doesn't have a phone yet, but I'll be giving her a hand-me-down soon. I was going to just comment, but then I realized that necessity isn't the only reason for an 11yo to have a phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's social. All her friends have phones. And even tho she's not much of a follower, it's kinda like a HS Senior still riding the bus. It's not a problem, it just sucks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Primarily, she kinda needs one . . . we don't have a landline (everyone has cells these days) and she's in middle school, staying after, goin to dances and friends houses, etc. So I've decided that, while she has a hard time even keeping up with the charger for her DS, I'll drop the extra $5 a mo so that she can have a number on my fambly plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point being that with all the practical reasons, don't forget how much jr. high and high school sucked whenever you were the &quot;only one&quot; that wasn't doing something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2013-10-03T17:58:11.397" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T17:58:11.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="825" CreationDate="2012-11-28T19:56:28.547" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sibling rivalry will occur,&lt;/em&gt; you say, but I disagree. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our second child is nearing 2 months now and his 3yo brother has been an absolute angel about it. There has not been a single incident that looked even remotely like jealousy. But we are expecting to see some of that when the little guy starts to grab toys and move around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if we did anything particularly noteworthy in preparation. We noticed even before the second pregnancy that our first son was always very careful and sweet toward babies. We noticed, and praised him for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We borrowed a cardboard-page book with a story of a boy getting a little sister, and we read that often in the latter half of the pregnancy. We talked about big brothers and little brothers, about what newborns are and what they can (not) do compared to the 3yo. When we met friends with babies we used the opportunity to look, touch, and talk about the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the birth of the second child, the older child is incredibly sweet toward his brother and we regularly, casually, praise him for it and tell him that it makes us and his brother happy (though he can be a brat in other aspects). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T19:56:28.547" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6745" CreationDate="2012-11-28T19:57:39.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing school nutrition programs often do is have &quot;food tasting parties&quot; to normalize the experience. So, you could get foods that even you haven't tried before and turn it into a family ritual. It could involve going to a restaraunt but I think it'd be more fun to investigate together how people cook/serve it, the cutlural relevance, etc. Then, when adults and kids are in the same boat, especially at this age, I imagine it being more fun and less about &quot;because I told you so.&quot; I think this would set up a family culture of trying new things, simply for the sake of trying them, which in this context is helpful, but also when it comes to new subjects in school or after-school curricula, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, at this age, probably the grosser-sounding/looking, the better sometimes ;) Ha, but I'm just thinking things like fruit, veggies and grains that aren't part of your normal family experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T19:57:39.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6707" CreationDate="2012-11-28T20:25:19.693" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Challenges are:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;finding a place/time at work to pump&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;washing the bottles and pump equipment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;freezing/unfreezing milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;creating a milk storage for unexpected situations&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making your baby comfortable with another&#xA;caregiver(while you are at work)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fighting with guilt that your baby is growing while you are working&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to deal with it:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask your manager if there is a mother's room, If you don't have it - ask manager if you can use some empty office. By law(at least in US) company must provide you a place where you can pump.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Regarding time: if mother's room is shared with other moms - check with them at what time they are using it. May be create a schedule, so you won't interfere. Try to pump the same time as your baby eats, so on weekends your baby and your breasts won't be confused :)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First time you might need to pump 2-3 times a day, and washing all this equipment is exhausting. To deal with it you can buy two sets of equipment, so you'll end up washing it once a day and at home,not in front of your co-workers. Another way - you can get sterilizing bags that you simply put in microwave and somehow it cleans everything.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once milk is defrozen you can't freeze it again. In order to transfer it home safely - I was leaving pumped milk in office refrigerator(in black closed bag). And I had icepack in the freezer(more than one, in case I'll forget it home). At the end of the day I'll put icepack in the black box with milk and drive it home. If I forget my milk, that's fine, it stays in refrigerator for the night.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You shouldn't unfreeze the milk in microwave. Cup with warm water works fine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At your first day at work your baby will need to eat milk, but you haven't pumped yet, to get it. Besides one day you'll want to have a date with your husband or you'll need to work late. Stocking up the milk in freezer works perfectly for this. Start about 2-3 weeks before the end of your maternity leave. When baby is done with eating, pump the rest of the milk and freeze it. Some women give one breast to the baby and another to the pump :). In the morning there is the best time to pump. Don't forget the label with the date. Milk in a freezer can be used up to three months, in a refrigerator - a week, home temperature - couple of hours. Try to take your pump with you all the time, so if milk from freezer is used - you will pump to cover the loss in your milk bank.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your little one will get used to you during maternity leave and then somebody else (day-care workers, grandma, nanny) will take care of him. In order to make the change stress free, adjust baby to the schedule and if you are not planning the day care invite your caregiver 1-2 weeks before the end of maternity leave. So the baby will get used to her/him. And the caregiver will learn how to treat your baby right in your presence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The only thing that helped me is: psychologists say that it doesn't affect baby a lot if mom works or not(if baby is treated with good care while mom is at work),  it does affect mom much more. Besides later on, kids from the families where both parents are working are more self-reliant and respecting their moms more. I hope :))&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and happy parenting :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2012-11-28T20:25:19.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1557" CreationDate="2012-11-29T00:04:53.713" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had to struggle with this question for my own child quite a bit a little over a year ago now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before about third grade, kids that are skipped, often find later that they struggle, because the other kids have &quot;caught up&quot; so gifted programs are frequently not offered until third grade in the states (including where we live) as it is hard to determine giftedness vs. advanced knowledge because of high early exposure for our beurocracy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to speak about alternative work for areas in which she is ahead, with the administrators and was told that at our particular school this was not possible (if you are lucky, you may get connected with a really great teacher that is knowledgeable and can work with you - we were not).  From experience, I know many private schools really aren't better for gifted kids than the public schools, (they frequently just require &lt;strong&gt;more&lt;/strong&gt; work, not &lt;strong&gt;better&lt;/strong&gt; work).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a former teacher of twice exceptional middle-school students (the term means they are extremely gifted in one area, but also have a learning, behavioral, emotional or social disorder that makes mainstreaming difficult) I had been a member of AEGUS (the Association for the Education of the Gifted and Under-served Student) and learned about the social difficulties many gifted children face.  Intellectually they don't often fit in with their own age group, but developmentally, they don't often fit in with their own intellectual peers either.  This does not pose a problem when the kids are allowed to move between social groups during their activities, but many of our schools set up cohorts based on age alone or ability alone.  When kids are stuck within one group only, it can make things especially challenging in terms of fitting in well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids are able to adjust and operate just fine in their assigned classroom.  Particularly if you have a good teacher that is also understanding (to ensure that is the case you will at least need to be communicative with your child's teachers as is recommended in the answer by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1566/2876&quot;&gt;Darwy&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we eventually settled on was for me to home school her.  It isn't for everyone and it is a lot of work, but it is easier than you might expect.  If you want to consider the option, I suggest you start by reading, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5593/2876&quot;&gt;What should I consider when deciding whether or not to home school my child?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also seriously considered a private school situation or just putting her in school and waiting it out until she could get into the gifted program.  If you go &lt;strong&gt;either&lt;/strong&gt; of these routes, I suggest you communicate clearly and frequently with the administration and the teacher.  Create friendships/relationships with these people.  If you can volunteer in the school do so.  Not so much to &quot;spy&quot; but just so you know what is up, what issues are being faced by the school community on the whole and how those may or may not be impacting your individual kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all kids that read early are gifted, but assuming yours is;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also recommend you explicitly address two things for your child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Social Stuff&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;No matter what choice you make, socialization will be a big deal for you kid (in school &lt;strong&gt;or&lt;/strong&gt; home-schooled) don't make the mistake of believing the school will handle it.  Think about it, schools are for teaching academics.  There are some social skills taught in elementary, like taking turns and sharing.  However, most schools do not explicitly teach conflict resolution skills, listening skills, etiquette etc past the first couple of grade levels.  Socialization requires feedback &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; support in concert with one-another.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure your child is involved in a social &quot;interest area&quot; club or something.  The club or activity you choose &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; your child should have a range of ages, so your child can find an intellectual equal or two and a developmental equal or two.  These may or may not be the same kids.  My daughter happens to fit in best with kids that are about a year or two older than herself right now - as adolescence comes, that is likely to change.  The advantage of interest level clubs and activities with mixed age groups is that your child is exposed to a range of ages and abilities.  this allows the child to guide herself to just the right amount of challenge (socially and intellectually) for herself on any given day and with any given project/challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eat a meal together as a family almost every day.  I know that one sounds out of place but it will do two things.  One, it makes sure you know what is going on in your child's life because it designates a time for conversation and Two the single most consistently related factor that shows up in studies on the subject for social/emotional success in teenagers is whether or not they had family meals together throughout their childhood.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Become Informed&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;4&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Please do not let teachers give your child &lt;strong&gt;extra work&lt;/strong&gt; thinking this will help them because of their giftedness.  It won't.  They will just resent the extra work that is likely just as tedious as the rest of the work they are asked to do.  Gifted kids need &lt;strong&gt;different&lt;/strong&gt; work.  They need more &lt;strong&gt;authentic challenges&lt;/strong&gt; that include chances for problem solving, and creativity.  Gifted kids also often prefer collaboration if there are intellectual peers with whom they can collaborate (but can easily be irritated if they are expected to collaborate with people who are not intellectual peers).  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=659&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; from NAGC as a place to start when evaluating educational options for your child.   It is about what good gifted education looks like.  For example it goes over the difference between acceleration and breadth and discusses the fact that many kids need one or the other and sometimes alternate between them.  The pace and depth of the work offered needs to fit the needs of the individual student which means frequent evaluation of the curricula itself needs to happen and adjustments made as needed for each individual.  The student needs to set the pace, not the curriculum.  It lists this point along with the need for excellent teachers and curricula, an understanding of supported risk by teachers and caregivers and the need for a higher degree of difficulty than average as goals that must be attained in providing the best education available for gifted kids.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get involved with AEGUS and/or NAGC so you stay apprised of the most recent studies, findings and information about what is happening in gifted education and how best to aid your child throughout his education.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-12-17T21:31:50.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6733" CreationDate="2012-11-29T07:46:15.487" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have the same thing - we live in Holland and my wife is Dutch, and we want our child to learn both languages. So from my experience, I can only repeat what has already been said here before, but yes, start talking English with your child right as soon as you can, and be consistent. If you wind up talking Portugese a few times to other members of the family, that's fine, but generally keep talking to your child in English. Read some books in English. Get some children videos in English if possible. You will probably find that when your child starts talking, they will speak Portugese at first. This is because other than you, just about everyone around your child will be speaking Portugese to them. But stay consistent. If your child asks a question in Portugese, respond in English. My 3 year old daughter understands English quite well - I can talk to her in English, and she'll respond in Dutch... though she is starting to use some English words and phrases :) Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1876" LastActivityDate="2012-11-29T07:46:15.487" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6762" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6763" CreationDate="2012-11-29T13:10:06.953" Score="11" ViewCount="7577" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm English and my wife is Portuguese and we are living in Portugal. I'm bilingual in Portuguese and my wife and I have always spoken Portuguese together. When my son was born, I found it somewhat strange and unnatural to talk to him in English, even though I knew I should have. As a result I only spoke English with him occasionally. Shortly before his 3rd birthday we had a holiday in England, with English friends, where I found it more natural to talk to my son in English. I decided that was my cue to continue, and since then I've managed to talk to him almost exclusively in English, and it now feels completely natural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son seems to understand pretty much everything I say in English, but he only ever responds in Portuguese. When he asks me a question in Portuguese, I always reply in English, and he seems to understand, and not find it strange.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading everywhere that bilingualism has to start pretty much at birth, I'm worried that I may have left it too late for him to become a native English speaker, especially as I'm the only exposure he has to native spoken English (other than films and TV and a few iPad apps for learning English).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did I leave it too late? As someone who was raised bilingual myself (English and German), and has a passion for languages, I hope that my early stupidity won't cost my son the chance to be a native English speaker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3489" LastActivityDate="2020-10-27T17:41:31.003" Title="Is 3 years old too late to start learning a 2nd language natively?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6762" CreationDate="2012-11-29T14:58:04.117" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's never too late to start!&lt;/strong&gt; Especially if you're a native speaker, just go for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience languages are most easily learned in the first 6-8 years -- learning happens more or less subconsciously while kids are that young. With other kids, it feels like actual, conscious &lt;em&gt;learning.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specific example:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I was raised bilingual (Danish, German) so as far as I can remember, I've &quot;always&quot; spoken these languages. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I was around 4 years old, my family moved to Sweden. My recollection of learning Swedish (which, granted, is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; similar to the Danish I already knew) was that one day I realized that I could speak Swedish -- so learning it was totally subconscious. Of course I had the advantage of being &lt;em&gt;immersed&lt;/em&gt; in it -- in Portugal, you might have a bit of a challenge to immerse your child in English but at least it's significantly easier with English because it happens to be &quot;the&quot; international language so you'll have plenty of material to choose from (books, games, movies, etc.).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Around 10 years of age I started learning English (nowadays English classes start much earlier) and I recall that I actually had to &lt;em&gt;learn&lt;/em&gt; it. But because my mind was already primed with 3 languages, it was just &quot;oh let's take another one&quot; and not a challenge at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Around 16 years I learned French in school. That was &lt;em&gt;hard&lt;/em&gt; and no fun at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Around 30 years I learned Japanese. That was hard because it is &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; foreign but it was fun again -- not sure why.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me also refer you to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/67/what-are-some-strategies-for-raising-a-bilingual-child/137#137&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; and my answer to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-11-29T14:58:04.117" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6606" CreationDate="2012-11-29T20:45:33.813" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little one responds with great frustration if you pick him up when he's doing something he likes, and put him back down a bit further away. It's the greatest punishment we have, to accompany with the 'no' word when we really mean it. In my experience, the word on its own, even the stern tone of voice, are not so much of a punishment until the child is a little bit older (18 months or so in our case). So I would look for some punishment to accompany the 'no', something that is acceptable for you but will briefly make your child upset, so that the upset feeling gets associated with approaching the electrical outlet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2012-11-29T20:45:33.813" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6766" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6794" CreationDate="2012-11-29T20:51:49.410" Score="3" ViewCount="10967" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I am happy to let my six year old continue to have baths most of the time, there are times when she needs to take the quicker shower.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has never been thrilled about water - even though we did those infant swim classes.  It took a long time to get her willing to blow bubbles and it is just a fear she seems to innately have (and has always had).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The spraying of the shower head freaks her out and she doesn't even like to use the shower head sprayer when she is holding it.  She is willing if I do it for her (she's a pretty decent kid and relatively compliant even about this), but she is fearful and the whole thing is torture for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has warmed up to the idea of the water enough to be okay splashing in it, blowing bubbles (partial face submersion) and even floating around in a pool (as long as she's got an inner tube or me or her dad) to hang onto.  She can doggie paddle to the edge if she needs to and enjoys splashing in it - she just won't get her face wet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We will be staying in a cabin leading up to Christmas where baths are pretty tough and then she has an aunt getting married just after Christmas and we will be in a hotel for half a week and super busy (and wanting her to shower - because it is a lot quicker).  How do I help her get through this fear?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I am concerned about the pool too, she is functional in the pool.  It is the shower thing that I'd really like to focus on for now and the pool thing in the coming summer months.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A year later:  She is now taking showers after becoming excited about swimming lessons and water in general.  We had her take semi-privates at the YMCA with a kid about three years younger than she is.  He is a dive right in - even if I drown kind of kid so the reality of watching someone so much younger than she is, not be scared made her a bit braver.  Since showering to rinse before and after getting in the pool is part of the deal - this was also addressed again and more fully.  Now she enjoys the shower so much 20 minutes will go by and we have to bang on the door and tell her time is up!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-07T22:45:40.227" LastActivityDate="2013-12-07T22:45:40.227" Title="My six year old is afraid of the shower. How do I help her transition?" Tags="|fears|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6766" CreationDate="2012-11-29T21:13:34.613" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll write more later, but...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could you, for now, stand her in the shower and use a jug/pitcher to pour water over her? (I see her getting cold as a possible problem, though.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask for a hotel room with a tub since you're running out of time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she play with dolls? Or do you have a dog? Could she give her dolls/dog a shower at first to get used to the spray? When it's less focused on her she may not freak out so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the more general water piece: I swam competitively as a kid and take kids on swimming field trips a lot. Picture me with 25 kids, most of whom have never been swimming before and are also terrified of the water!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the group effect can be helpful. Could you take her swimming with her cousins and explain beforehand that you are willing to hold on to her in the water the. entire. time.? Often they have so much fun splashing each other they forget to be afraid. When in the water, I hold them tightly so they feel safe and that helps. And they know they can always grab on to me at any time, any place they can reach (often around my neck!) when they get scared. I then move them around so they're on my hip or hanging off my shoulder instead!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, this is a time to cash in on some of that trust you've been storing up :) Tell her repeatedly, &quot;I keep you safe. When you say stop, we stop. But I also know how much you like learning new things and how proud you will be.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously it's best to find a pool she can stand in comfortably. The hotel pool might be good for this, but be ware of other kids who won't understand her fear. (hotel pools are smaller and its harder to keep your own space)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching her how to float while in the water can be very helpful so they feel more in control in the water and less at the water's mercy. Begin by being in the pool with her (if she'll let you I guess) and then hold her upper body tightly and let her watch her legs float to the surface. Over time hold her less and less tightly until she can float on her back with your hand under the small of her back. This is one that has worked well for me. Typically encouraging them to make a &quot;sea star&quot; shape helps them float better than a &quot;soldier/pencil&quot; shape.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have access to any babies? From your other posts I know she likes helping other kids, maybe you guys could take the baby swimming and she could help &quot;teach&quot; the baby how to swim and play in the water? Focusing on the baby may help her forget her own fears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I taught my college roommate how to swim because she had always been afraid, and as a teen I taught the little kids to dive because they were afraid of our swim coach :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More ideas: let her wear swim goggles in the shower. It helps stop the shampoo getting in her eyes too. My little sister loved swimming and taking showers but she always insisted on wearing goggles in the beginning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may like swimming more now than as infant since you can talk her through it now. Could she lay on her tummy in the bath and blow bubbles? Could she wear a snorkel in the bath just to practice putting her face in? Then you could try it at the pool? The bath is nice because there are no other kids around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm only pushing the pool stuff because I think being able to swim is a life skill. I don't think she needs to love it or do it regularly, but a basic competency in the water could be, literally , a lifesaver some day. :/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-29T22:05:45.990" LastActivityDate="2012-11-29T22:05:45.990" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1557" CreationDate="2012-11-29T22:09:58.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this is kind of an old question that was recently edited, but I had something I thought was worth adding: My mom teaches kindergarten, which isn't first grade, but close, and they have a huge range of ability, students who don't even know their letters to ones who are fluent readers at the beginning of the year. In her classroom they handle the huge disparity on skill levels by having different reading groups that focus on reading books at their own level, and do their reading activities during rotating &quot;centers&quot; time while the other students are occupied with listening stations, math manipulatives, and so forth. Their reading homework is similarly targeted toward the actual reading level of the students. If this was the case in your son's class, it would be a complete non-issue. So it may be useful to discuss how these subjects are taught with the teacher, and whether there is any reason you should be concerned and how you can best support your child if so. If they teach in an engaging and fun way, it may not matter whether he already knows the materials as far as whether he enjoys class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-11-29T22:09:58.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6769" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-29T22:38:53.053" Score="4" ViewCount="498" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got someone in my network with parent clients where the father is having a hard time visualizing alternatives to his own toxic childhood experience. Can anyone think of some media examples (TV/movies/etc) that can help this man visualize what a kind, connected, engaged father might look like?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastEditorUserId="3373" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T15:11:29.940" LastActivityDate="2018-03-27T13:23:50.537" Title="Media Examples of Kind, Connected, Present, Engaged etc Father?" Tags="|media|role-models|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2018-03-28T08:36:45.357" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6769" CreationDate="2012-11-29T23:16:51.670" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good and recent examples where the father is present throughout?  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Bonanza&lt;/em&gt; comes to mind - though its been a &lt;strong&gt;really long time&lt;/strong&gt; since I saw any of it and his kids are mostly adults.  Growing pains, Cosby, Family ties, Full House and Brady bunch dads/uncles had it together most episodes (most of these dads are of course, not perfect, but making a really good effort and have shining moments).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A Little Princess&lt;/em&gt; (hallmark movie version shows the father relating very nicely at the beginning), Swiss Family Robinson, Grandpa Joe in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Pursuit of Happyness&lt;/em&gt; by Chris Gardner (movie version) really highlights a father that is struggling through it and doing his very best to figure it out.  The book is good too, but focuses a lot less on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't watch &lt;em&gt;8 rules for dating my teenage daughter&lt;/em&gt; much but the 3 or 4 episodes I did see while John Ritter was still alive, seemed pretty heart felt and like they demonstrated a pretty tuned in dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mathew Cuthbert as a surrogate father to Anne in the whole series about &lt;em&gt;Anne of Green Gables&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband just finished reading the &lt;em&gt;Clementine Series&lt;/em&gt; with Alice and said that the father figure in those books was someone he'd like to model his own parenting style after more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Little House on the Prairie&lt;/em&gt; &quot;is based on decades-old memories of Laura Ingalls Wilder's childhood in the Midwest region of the United States during the late 19th century&quot; &lt;sup&gt;(&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_House_on_the_Prairie_%28TV_series%29&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/sup&gt;. This series shows a father with a very caring attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So Little house was added and I think that was what I needed to see to round out the whole thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On another note, I have an adopted brother that was pretty badly abused until he came to us at 16.  I am also married to a man that was emotionally and verbally abused by his father even at the beginning of our marriage.  For both of them just the fact that they wanted to be different (and having my Dad to speak with and have as a role model) made enough of a difference.  My brother wound up with full custody of all three of his girls when the marriage his marriage fell apart (I really don't know the details nor do they belong on this forum).  While my husband still makes mistakes - so do I, and our girl is well loved, respected and cared for.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A change is hard, but can be made with the desire and the help so I'm sure this person is already well down the path just recognizing that he needs to do things differently.  He has also sought help and while role models from the media can provide examples, I'm sure with the help and support you are offering, his desire and hard work he will find success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T15:46:56.017" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T15:46:56.017" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2047" CreationDate="2012-11-30T00:20:49.070" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you asked, &quot;or should I do something completely different&quot; I'm going to offer the idea of no longer using time outs and instead figure out consequences that fit or natural consequences.  I never used time-outs so this is the best idea I can offer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going to assume you have considered what your children are actually capable since you are comparing behavior at home with behavior out of the home and saying they can do what you are expecting while at home.  @ChristineGordon offers the prerequisite &quot;preparations&quot; that help kids be successful because it sets them up for success in the first place.  If the behavior is still a problem, here is a natural consequence that will speak volumes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if your kids can't go out to eat without throwing food or pulling hair, the next time there is a chance to go out and have some fun get the child a &lt;strong&gt;really boring baby sitter&lt;/strong&gt; and say, &quot;sorry can't trust you to use good manners and I don't want to be embarrassed again.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are likely to be tears, &quot;I know its really a bummer - we will miss you so much.  This must be so sad for you, but you've shown me I just can't take you.&quot;  Then, walk out the door.  You've expressed empathy, but don't lecture, don't discuss, just leave.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you get home (even the next day will work with anyone 4 or older), discuss it.  &quot;I know you were really sad you couldn't join us last night - so was I.  I am willing to listen if you have any ideas about how you can show me you can use good manners even when we are out.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child has now suffered the natural consequence of having missed out so this is not a negotiation about the consequence, this is showing them how to brainstorm how to &quot;fix&quot; or at least make up for a mistake they've made - an important life skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be willing to bet your child will be motivated to show you he/she is able to venture out with you again.  Of course, you have to make sure going out is fun and the baby sitter isn't for it to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T02:30:14.457" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T02:30:14.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2047" CreationDate="2012-11-30T00:38:29.933" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;They always do know how to push our buttons with the best/worst timing, don't they? :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there are things to do to &lt;strong&gt;prevent&lt;/strong&gt; this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;strong&gt;I have no idea what age your child is, so modify as necessary&lt;/strong&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you give him a &lt;strong&gt;role to play&lt;/strong&gt; in the outing like carrying the shopping list, counting the money, checking off the list, etc?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the &lt;strong&gt;trip appropriately lengthy&lt;/strong&gt; for his age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you give him &lt;em&gt;limited&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;choices&lt;/strong&gt; like which store to go to first or which restaurant or which toothbrush to buy, etc?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are your &lt;strong&gt;expectations of what &quot;being good&quot; looks like realistic and age-appropriate&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are your &lt;strong&gt;expectations that he can ask what he doesn't understand age-appropriate&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you &lt;strong&gt;communicated &lt;em&gt;clearly&lt;/em&gt; the plan for the day&lt;/strong&gt;, ie &quot;Today we need to buy groceries and then shoes for daddy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is &lt;strong&gt;important for kids not to feel like they're just being dragged along.&lt;/strong&gt; Inviting them to participate in the activity can both alleviate this kind of scenario, and be an opportunity for practicing sorting, letter and number recognition, sequencing, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I teach parenting classes, one of the activities is a role-play of this exact scenario that allows parents to experience it from the perspective of the toddler! Being dragged along is no fun for anyone, even in a role-play scenario. Often the parents have an &quot;aha!&quot; moment when they next experience what it's like to have the above techniques applied, and they find that even in the role play they are much more 'compliant' and happy to participate!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not advocating that every outing be about comforting the child, but I am suggesting to consider &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; experience of the same scenario. You may find yourself in this scenario a lot less if you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T00:38:29.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6773" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-30T01:11:53.053" Score="6" ViewCount="2379" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is allergic to cats...and dogs...and eggs.  We don't have any pets, but my parents do.  We live about 250 miles away from my parents, but we do travel to see them about once a month.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents have had cats my entire life and since before I was born.  I would never dream of telling my parents they have to get rid of their animal(s).  And, until recently, the presence of the cats in the home hasn't been a problem.  We just give Charlotte Zyrtec while we're at their home, we keep Benadryl with us in case the Zyrtec just doesn't do it and, for the most part, everything is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In October we went to visit them.  On the Monday after we returned from the visit, I received a phone call from our daycare saying that Charlotte had a rash.  I hadn't even noticed the rash when I got her dressed that morning, so I rushed her off to the doctor only to be informed that they were bug bites--probably flea bites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I called my dad and explained to him what had happened and that we suspected she had gotten bitten at their house.  He replied that this was entirely possible since the cat, for whatever reason, favors the bed my daughter sleeps in!  But he assured me that he would take care of the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward to this previous weekend.  Another visit, this time for Thanksgiving.  My daughter's legs are covered in flea bites.  She seems to be the ONLY person who gets bitten (although my husband says he thinks he got bitten some as well this weekend).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This behavior from my mom is uncharacteristic.  She adores both of her grandchildren and usually when anything involving their health or comfort is concerned she bends over backwards.  But, for some reason, she's done nothing about this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I obviously don't want my daughter sleeping in a flea-infested bed, but sleeping with us (in a non-flea-infested bed) is not an option.  She simply does not sleep well when she sleeps with us, and the guest bed at my parent's house is a full size which will not accommodate myself, my husband, and my 2-year-old.  There really isn't anywhere else to sleep at the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also obviously, I could simply refuse to go visit until she deals with the problem, but I really hate to do that.  I mean, this is my mom we're talking about who, as I said, is normally very attentive and normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So....any other thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T02:53:35.183" LastActivityDate="2013-03-27T21:34:52.993" Title="What should I do when my daughter's health is affected by the cats at my parents home when we visit?" Tags="|extended-family|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2012-11-30T02:51:20.580" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Christine already mentioned, since these are your parents and you have a good relationship could you ask what's up and see if there is a way you can help to remedy the situation?  If you are concerned about your mom you might ask your dad if he has noticed the difference too.  Talking with both of them might solve the problem and also help to put your mind at ease in regard to the unusual behavior from you mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't work, are you close enough that you could easily pack an extra set of sheets or sleeping bag?  For the fleas, something like what DA01 mentions?  Purchasing advantix or some similar thing?  Then, you could strip the bed, give the whole room and bed a vacuuming which will reduce the flea population significantly (but only very temporarily), she could still make use of the mattress but have something clean and bug free to sleep in.  For a resource with more detail and all the steps to do this and general info about fleas, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.buzzle.com/articles/flea-bites-on-humans.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; is fairly succinct, and clear.  It is also a little scary (sorry) but goes over how to care for your daughter's rash too (though I'm sure that part is already covered by you anyway).  You might show the article to your parents if during your discussion you think they aren't taking it very seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like some flea repellent for the cat, and a  good cleaning + a little time should clear things up.  If your mom and dad can't agree to these actions on your part then - especially if it is out of character for them, you might need to take a stronger action.  It seems as though, talking should clear things up, but if that doesn't work, you going to all the trouble should also make a point, if that doesn't work I'd have to say invite them to your house instead - while you seek the help for them you feel is most appropriate.  I'm sorry I can't offer more about your concern over your mom.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T07:06:01.037" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T07:06:01.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2012-11-30T05:30:20.997" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't pretend to give a direct answer to the question, but I can give an answer. I suspect that it's obvious enough that you've already figured it out, but sometimes it helps to hear someone else confirm it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is a choice: You can either have a discussion with your mom where there's some sort of implemented solution or you can come down on the side of your daughters health... meaning taking a visit break. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is NOT the same as saying &quot;fix this or we're not coming over.&quot; That is an ultimatum and nobody likes being given ultimatums. This will clearly create more problems than it solves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's plenty of room for solutions. If the cat favors that bed, then you might have the daughter sleep with you on the next visit. See what happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along the lines of what BaMama said, I think you shoudl go all the way or not at all... changing the sheets and vacuuming the bed aint gonna do it if there's an infestation. Going all the way would be getting a mattress, but then you have to deal with keeping the cat off of it which could be problematic. A new roll away or portable bed of some sort would work as well... something that you can drag out when you get there then put away when leaving. That would completely solve the bed-flea problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, and it's a big butt, think down the line a bit. . .  consider what you're going to do after you've spent a fair sum of $$ and several months and it's not cleared up. Just sayin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's hoping you can get it worked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T05:30:20.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6769" CreationDate="2012-11-30T05:41:10.830" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Modern Family is as close as it gets to a my own clan (of family and close friends) as I've ever seen on TV. They give each other crap, they say and do things that irritate, anger, entertain, etc, but underneath it all is the family bond. All the crap that happens between the people is really on a completely different level than the family unit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I almost made this just a comment to the OP but i wanted to add something: in addition to  media, whether entertaining or educational, it's not going to hurt for him to talk to someone. But it's not about sitting down with a counselor and talking about his childhood, from what you say, working on that is not the goal here. Talking with a professional about &lt;em&gt;the specifics&lt;/em&gt; of setting aside the memories of his childhood for the benefit of his own children will be a challenge to stay focused. I'm no pro, but I'll bet that group interactions on the subj would be great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T05:41:10.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2012-11-30T06:07:46.667" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't take my child, especially young child, to flea invested anywhere. Even my parents' house. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Since this is a deviation from the norm in your parents, I would be concerned for them. I think it's worth asking &quot;hey is everything okay....? What can we do about this flea problem...?&quot; Etc. No need for blame/shame (as in all my parenting approaches) but what are we going to &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; about it? Also, again, if this is unusual behavior from your parents, I think it's worth investigating further in its own right. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T06:07:46.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5388" CreationDate="2012-11-30T06:19:27.283" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes. But you can supplement their learning through other means than basically homeschooling after school! Fostering a culture of curiosity, exploration, creative play, conversation, critical thinking and active inquiry at home will go a long way, probably further in the long term. But, as you are a teacher, I'm assuming you know this!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3373" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T06:19:27.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6769" CreationDate="2012-11-30T13:02:20.327" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a father dealing with the same issue I can tell you that there's no TV or movie that's really going to help with that situation. I also sympathize with his situation. Before my first child was born I was concerned that the lack of good role models was going to hurt my ability to be a good parent, and I looked all around in books, TV, movies, etc for inspiration. On the TV and movie front I found every show with good parents in it was useless because the situations shown in them weren't real. A TV show that had half an hour of a child throwing a tantrum wouldn't get many viewers. Plus, seeing someone on TV be patient in a situation doesn't help oneself be patient in a similar situation, being patient is a skill that must be developed, it's not something you can switch on! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ended up building a picture of the type of father I wanted to be by taking the negatives I experienced and flipping them. Where I got yelled at I would be calm and measured, where I was treated unkindly I would be kind. I visualized how I wanted to be and decided to work to that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know what actually happened? I found that it was the fact that I wanted to be a loving, caring parent went most of the way to helping me to be that father, rather than visualizing or looking at media. The rest is just tactics and learning from the many mistakes you make. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T13:02:20.327" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2012-11-30T13:43:26.837" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Christine that taking her to a place that is infested with fleas, even if it is your mother's house, should be off the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The two choices are either stop staying there (I wouldn't try switching rooms, because if the cats have fleas, the only difference is there will be &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; fleas in areas the cats don't favor), or fix the flew problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that not staying there does not necessarily equate to not visiting.  You could potentially arrange to stay at a hotel, and minimize time spent &lt;em&gt;inside&lt;/em&gt; your mother's house without minimizing time spent &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; your mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, fixing the flea problem is by far the better choice.  Fleas are annoying, and uncomfortable, and its not an ideal situation even for the cats (cats and fleas are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a &quot;natural combination&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first question is: are the cats exclusively &quot;indoor&quot;?  I suspect not, since that usually prevents fleas from becoming an issue altogether (in addition to being significantly safer in general for the cats by a large margin).  However, if they &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; exclusively indoor, it makes it easier to eliminate the flea problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if they spend time outdoors, the problem can be solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a couple of good resources on do-it-yourself flea elimination:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thebugsquad.com/fleas/how-to-get-rid-of-fleas&quot;&gt;The Bug Squad&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-get-rid-of-fleas/&quot;&gt;Instructables&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I'd strongly recommend instead having your mother contact her veterinarian.  There are flea treatments (in the form of a few drops of liquid applied to the back of the neck, iirc) that essentially make your pets into a particularly unhealthy meal for fleas for a few days; long enough to break the reproductive cycle of the pests (if you couple it with adequate cleaning of bedding and other flea-infested areas).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its worth noting that most cats &lt;em&gt;loooove&lt;/em&gt; being combed, and using a flea comb is one of the best ways of preventing fresh outbreaks of an infestation (combined with regular cleaning of their bedding).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping your mother get rid of the fleas is by far the best choice for you, your daughter, your mother, and, in particular, your mother's cats (since they're the ones who otherwise have to deal with constant flea bites on a daily basis).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T13:43:26.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2012-11-30T16:54:36.900" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something I just thought of a minute ago and completely unrealted to my other answer: You said your mom is uncharacteristically tight-lipped about this. Kinda like someone that's just hoping the problem will go away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question: How old is the flea-infested cat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know my exwife was inconsolable for about a week after her cat died (a cat that we got together) and my mom too with their 3rd dog. In both cases, they knew the pet was nearing Time and just simply didn't want to talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's getting up there, 12+, it may be about that time... and the bottom line is &quot;what are you gonna do about it?&quot; Nothing. You (rhetorical you) will do nothing. No new pills or bath treatments, or even chastising it for biting/scratching Charlotte. You just let the cat pretty much do what it wants for it's last however long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T16:54:36.900" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5138" CreationDate="2012-11-30T17:22:41.510" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While Torben's ideas are all pretty sound, clear and complete, it is actually &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; a good idea to make such cards too visible.  Slapping something on his back with his name on it actually makes it easier for someone who would take advantage of children to do just that.  Still, put the cards in his backpack, shoe etc. but avoid making it really easy to find his name just walking by even when he is right with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also put any allergies and medical alerts on such a card - just in case - it doesn't hurt to have that kind of information available too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest &quot;Free Range Kids&quot; by Leonore Skenazy for more information about how to keep your kids safe and teach them about what they can do for themselves to avoid getting separated and what to do if they do get separated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-11-30T21:05:11.257" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T21:05:11.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6783" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-11-30T18:22:59.220" Score="4" ViewCount="2016" Body="&lt;p&gt;This turned out way longer than I intended, please try to bulldoze thru it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest daughter is 11. She's the middle of 5 (21 19 11 9 7). Her older bros are in 'college' (they're taking classes). They pretty much blazed the middle-school trail for their siblings so the wiff and I have had plenty of warning with the general issues that we will face again. Yes kids are different, I know this... but they've all grown up in the same middle class neighborhood so their general issues are very similar&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with school work is that she's simply not doing it. I was an 11 yo latchkey kid that never did his homework, but I also didn't have much if any guidance or direction. There's nothing stopping her from coming home, getting a drink, sitting in the kitchen, and doing the hw before her siblings get home. This isn't earthshattering and therefore, I expect that she can do that. She doesn't. We're midway thru the 2nd quarter of 6th grade (1st yr of middle school) and can't seem to crack the nut into making a routine. She's failing 3 of 4 core classes (science, math, communcation arts/english, but not social studies) because she doesn't do the work. She's seriously about to fail and repeat 6th grade simply because she will not do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's very much like I was and her 2 older brothers. The difference is that I managed to deal with it without parental or school aid, and her brothers eventually got it. Both of them, Jr/Sr yr, were finally able to do what they needed to do without me crawling up their back about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, in class, she does other things besides &quot;using her time wisely&quot;; ranging from sitting there staring at the ceiling to old-school reading a book you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to read while it's framed in the book that you're &lt;em&gt;supposed&lt;/em&gt; to read. She's supposed to fill out a daily agenda with the assignment for that class (all kids get the agenda booklet) have it signed by the teacher (just my kid and then i deal with it at home) and then come home and do the work, and me or mom will look it over. This is not a complex process, but she's supposed to do it 5 days in a row to get pc/ds privileges back. The most she's managed to do is 2 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now . . . I know that she's distractable. She always stops in the middle of whatever and I have to make her focus. &quot;Aaaahhhh, there it is... add/adhd&quot;. Not so fast there, bub... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've not seen real effort put into doing it. Without going into the gory details and examples, she can get started (2 days above) and she clearly exhibits the ability to focus (not hyperfocus) for varied times and levels of concentration. But they're all things that she really likes to do... reading, drawing, pokemon, building lego farms with her younger siblings. I don't count, but to some extent probably should count, minecraft and certain pc/vid games that require serial attention on goal oriented gameplay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to quantify in this space all the things I've tried and the conversations I've had with her. Her teachers generally care, but they're middle school teachers with 200 kids, or whatever, to deal with. One teacher seems to be going thru the motions but the others are interactive with her and parents. I've burned completely thru a variety of motivational systems, positive, negative, bonus, none of them stick. From &quot;bring a signed agenda home, I'll put a bead in your vase&quot; (full vase gets you something cool) down to &quot;bring it, or else&quot; and all the &quot;or elses&quot; have come to pass. And I know from experience with her older brothers that they eventually turn into the rat in the electrified cage: After 2 weeks without pc/ds, it no longer matters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes I follow up on the negative stuff. 11 is too old to spank in our house (besides, she's like 5'8&quot; 150#), but she quite literally has zero privs right now. Come home, sit at the table, the end. And I still have to tell her to do the work and she doesn't do it because I'm busy being a parent and can't stand over her like a totalitarian despot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As said, it's not my first rodeo. My older boys had previously set the mark on &quot;horrible getting hw done&quot; and we dealt with it, dare I say, effectively. I managed to deal with it without parental or school aid, and her brothers eventually got it. However it took them several years, all the way up into hs, before I had to really start hacking into life-affecting privs. Both of them, Jr/Sr yr, were finally able to do what they needed to do without me crawling up their back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the fact that I've blasted thru a 6 year plan in 2.5 mos has left me with no idea what to do. I've considered homeschool (my schedule would allow it), her younger siblings are in the gifted program at school and she missed it by a couple points in math (she convinced herself that she hates math yet can do it easily). They all tested high in younger grades and are following the same path of dumbing down to the curriculum that's taught. Homeschooling, tho, presents a number of challenges for especially me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, after all that, the questions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What else I can do motivationally? I've explained how much it woudl suck for her to repeat, and she gets it: the next 6 years of school will affect the next 60 years of her life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any specific recommendations for some kind of professional? I'm not beyond counselling but I've no idea where to begin. I'm not beyond accepting diagnosis, but I'm not convinced that 1) she's diagnosable and I'm not throwing meds at it 2) she's got a problem beyond motivation. We know add and adhd kids and personality wise she's nothing like any of them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any thoughts on the homeschooling solution? What about part time homeschooling?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T17:24:31.227" Title="Need suggestions on how to deal with my 11yo in school" Tags="|school|homework|motivation|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5138" CreationDate="2012-11-30T18:28:56.023" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is he in school? You might talk to the school about it. I know my school has a standard form or the like that can be printed with all the appropriate contact info... I mean my school does it all the time, so you might chk if they'll make a copy for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2012-11-30T18:28:56.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6783" CreationDate="2012-11-30T19:21:13.467" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow! does that sound familiar!  As a former Middle school teacher I can tell you I had a least a couple of these kids every year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A specialist&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you don't want to throw meds at it - so please know I'm not including this information for that purpose.  ADD and ADHD &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=97149159&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;shows up a little differently in girls&lt;/a&gt; and what you describe actually describes what I experienced with ADD/ADHD girls in particular.  You might consider a specialist in the area of behavioral disability.  There are also other, lesser known challenges that can exist that create some of these symptoms (although, from my experience she doesn't sound like a match - I am no doctor though)  Whatever the case, a behavioral specialist would be the one to handle these types of issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think meds are the only way to go and a good behavioral specialist can also help by offering supportive techniques that might help your daughter out if that is a part of the problem.  I'm just saying it is worth considering because the way the ADHD brain works is a little different and movement often helps them think through academics a little better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she does have ADD, there are probably some cognitive components about getting organized and getting started that are honestly hard for her and there are steps you can take with her to help her learn ways to work around and through these challenges if you know a little more about her specific ADD type and how the symptoms express themselves in her.  For example, the writing process might actually be in the wrong order for her brain to operate at its best capacity the way it is traditionally taught.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can also help to know if she is a visual/spatial learner which can impact teaching style as well.  If she has any sort of learning or behavioral difference her brain may not work in a way conducive to effectively learning within the context of how the thinking process works.  If this is the case, the problem may not be about motivation, but ability and with a few tweaks in HOW she goes about getting her work done, motivation may come more naturally.  It'll feel good to do it rather than feeling like an uphill battle she will most certainly lose - but you can't use alternative means of learning if you don't truly know what she needs.  A full work-up can determine these things for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Motivation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Motivationally, some kids need to feel they are the ones in control - often to their own detriment of course.  You might try asking her about a solution.  Maybe she actually has some decent ideas and she probably isn't real happy with the situation at home either right now (On purpose I know, that was the point wasn't it?).  For kids that want to be in control, letting&#xA;them take ownership of figuring out the solution can be a huge&#xA;motivating factor.  It won't hurt to ask right?  If she gives some&#xA;flip answer like, &quot;just stop worrying about it.&quot;  Just give her a&#xA;flip answer back, &quot;It is my job to worry about it - if you have any&#xA;ideas for a real solution I'm willing to listen.&quot;  Then give her&#xA;some time to think about it (As a teacher, I saw this technique work really well with most parents that tried it.  You really do have to be ready to listen and respectfully brainstorm with her though).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are willing to go as far as this next one, you really have to&#xA;mean it, but It is amazing, as soon as you step back a little and&#xA;say, &quot;okay.  My boundary is that a kid who isn't doing her job by&#xA;getting her school work done is a kid that doesn't get extras&quot;  -&#xA;relate this to jobs in the future.  An employee that doesn't get&#xA;his/her work done eventually gets fired and can't afford basics let&#xA;alone extras -  &quot;Other than that, this is your job to fix&quot; can seem&#xA;almost like a dare that totally gets them going.  Be careful on this&#xA;one, because if she isn't likely to take the dare and figure it out,&#xA;it will backfire.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can also try offering her back one privilege - you might insist&#xA;that this one be one that will have her be active but let her have&#xA;some say in which activity she gets to do.  Consider it an olive&#xA;branch between you &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; probationary. She can have this activity&#xA;back this semester and you will give her this if she will work with&#xA;you to come up with a solution together.  She gets to keep the&#xA;privilege if she has shown improvement at the end of the quarter. &#xA;She gets to add a second privilege back when her efforts at&#xA;improvement start showing results in improved grades.  The reason&#xA;for the &quot;active component&quot; is that exercise often helps with&#xA;concentration and learning so you'll be &quot;multi-tasking&quot; by allowing&#xA;it (The parents and students I worked with in this way often had a&#xA;good margin of success combined with motivational idea number one&#xA;and extra supports for those who needed it, it almost always&#xA;worked).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This last idea is related to her brothers.  If she is particularly close to either of them, they could have the potential to be of great help here.  First, if the second of them is close and just left this year, it may explain some sort of distraction she is struggling with.  &lt;strong&gt;However&lt;/strong&gt; where I'm really going here is that perhaps now that they've gotten themselves straightened out and have experienced a little of the college life, maybe one of them could have some positive influence about how much nicer things are when the work gets done.  Talk to her about things they have tried to help self-motivate, organize and stay focused that have worked for themselves (as well as ones that didn't).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Homeschooling&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your questions about homeschooling depend largely on your location.  If you are in the states, virtual schools can provide you with all the necessary information, curricula and support as the parent or &quot;learning coach&quot; as well as online classes by people who are specialized in particular subjects (instead of it being only you in charge).  In particular, K12 (www.k12.com) is nationwide (almost) and in many states is set up as a &quot;charter school&quot; meaning that officially your daughter is enrolled in a public school program making the whole thing free.  The school is also large enough, that in many areas it holds &quot;community day&quot; classes where your daughter will attend a class at a location with peers usually about once/week.  There are also similar programs of very high quality scattered about the country, but as they are more localized I can't say a lot about many of those.  This way of doing things has its drawbacks too - but what system doesn't really?  You can check out more regarding my experience, research and thoughts with Homeschooling on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5593/2876&quot;&gt;What should I consider when deciding whether or not to homeschool my Child?&lt;/a&gt;  if you haven't already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is truly just horribly bored with her work, home school, may provide some help, but there is often a pretty rough transition as she will still need to get her work done and now it is just you and she (and the other parent?).  If the work she gets feels more challenging and she likes it more it could be a really good move for you, but the switch-over may take a while of increased resistance before you really see improvement.  If you do go this route, I suggest checking out, &quot;schoolathomeeffectively.com&quot;  The family includes one child that was not homeschooled, one that was switched (because of similar problems to the one you are having) the mother learning-coach and the father is a school principle)  They have a lot of great stuff about motivation and discipline in the home regarding school work and their on-line workshops are wonderful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T17:24:31.227" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6786" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6797" CreationDate="2012-11-30T19:50:40.197" Score="14" ViewCount="1529" Body="&lt;p&gt;My neigbor is now a grandmother of two little girls about whom she is very concerned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Relevant backstory:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;The grandmother/neighbor was an adict to multiple things while she raised the mother of the two girls.  The grandmother is now clean and sober and has been for ten years, but she lost most of her girls' own childhood.  Her daughters have similar troubles now and the grandmother who is my neighbor has done what she can (suggested AA etc.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The oldest daughter has now had two children of her own that are basically being neglected.  The six month baby is being given sugar with her formula and rice cereal (God only knows why this mom thinks that is a good idea!), both gradaughters have been left with friends and boyfriends while no one was in the house that wasn't influenced by one substance or another, they are often dropped off at the grandmother's house with horrible rashes etc.  The older grandaughter is three and still not potty trained - most of the rashes are related to being left in their own mess too long and not being bathed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What I am aksing&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;She has asked me for ideas about what to do.  She doesn't like the idea of reporting to the authorities (which is something I brought up in the discussion) because she is afraid she will never see her grandaughters again if she does so.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My neighbor, would like some ideas about how to convince her adult daughter to leave the grandaughters with her nearly all the time, as well as just general ideas to help the girls get the health and stability they will need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to offer some ideas to her, and maybe even come up with some great information that might help assuage her fears of getting the US gov. involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The grandmother has decided that talking to the pediatrician about it and encouraging a report by her is a good idea.  One of the girls has already been in last week for a cold and rash and they are supposed to go back in for a follow-up on the rash tomorrow.  Thanks.  It was a combination of comments and answers that inspired this idea, so I wish I could &quot;accept&quot; all the comments and answer that helped.  We'll see how it goes from here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Final Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The grandchildren are now living with grandma on a permanent basis and their mother only has monthly visitation rights once she has completed rehab successfully (for now).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T21:11:08.047" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T10:55:17.960" Title="When you don't think (grand)children are getting the care they need" Tags="|toddler|infant|safety|extended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6727" CreationDate="2012-11-30T20:17:38.023" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We chose to do something not suggested here already, but that I thought might help others to know about if anyone else out there has similar problems.  The other ideas were both great but included the assumption that these are reasonable people being worked with and the reality is, they aren't.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually tried to have a convo about it with hubby and sister and she managed to convince the rest of the family I have a control issue because I think Alice should be allowed to open her own gifts &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; choose not to play with those gifts right away with her cousins.  She is pretty consistently a parent that cares more about taking the easiest route over the best route (in terms of lessons for her kids)  I'm sure in most situations a convo would work well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We no longer invite any of them to her birthday parties.  By not inviting any of the cousins, no one is being specifically singled out and the reality is that she has a big enough core group of friends she'd rather see at her parties anyway that her parties are plenty big without forcing an inclusion of family members.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To still honor the family connection, we hold a dinner party gathering at a restaurant that is a central location and on no-one's turf.  Since there are usually only a few presents and we are all sitting around a dinner table, it seems not to be an issue because the problematic cousins are busy at the other end of the table arguing about who dropped whose fork.  It also means no one expects any of the new items to actually be opened and played with or anything.  Everyone pays their own food-bill even.  Alice is very happy with this situation as are we.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Added benefit - we aren't getting invited to, and expected to attend every single one of the growing number of cousin's birthday parties anymore either.  We just send a present and make a phone call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-05T06:17:36.173" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T06:17:36.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2795" CreationDate="2012-12-01T03:14:33.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 month old baby does this too. We have a great bedtime routine that she responds to well and will fall asleep peacefully almost every night. Some nights, however, she cries and gets all worked up. I've noticed it tends to correspond with her being gassy, but not always. I find that picking her up only makes the situation worse. Initially I respond quickly so she doesn't start raging. I plug her soother back in and stroke her head which often does the trick, but not always. If this doesn't work I will go back to her when she's fussing very quickly about 3 more times and repeat plugging her back in and stroking her hair without saying anything. After the 3rd time I will plug her in and stroke her hair and then sing her favourite song Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She LOVES this song and it tends to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she continues to fuss I will leave her for 5 minutes and then 10 minutes. After that, I figure she is clearly not tired. So I pick her up and bring her into the family room and just lie her on the couch with her diaper half off (she loves this). Usually she will get super tired and so I do my nap routine (shh shh and swaying) until she falls asleep and then plunk her in her crib. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It happens so rarely that I figure there is no point in making her cry it out. Clearly she's just not tired enough, is gassy, or is otherwise uncomfy. If she cried every night I might try a different tactic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3493" LastActivityDate="2012-12-01T03:14:33.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6789" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6792" CreationDate="2012-12-01T15:55:06.393" Score="7" ViewCount="8208" Body="&lt;p&gt;I give my daughter lots of healthy foods, including those that have fiber in them.  She gets veggies and fruits, proteins, dairy, she has a water bottle with her wherever she goes and yet this week she is waking up in the middle of the night hungry and honestly wanting food as well as needing something to eat almost every hour during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breakfast often includes eggs, sausage, ham or other such foods (often in an omlette, frittata or quiche.  We do oatmeal a lot along with some fruit or a yummy shake and once a week or so we have muffins, pancakes or waffles (which almost always have a little flaxseed thrown in.  She loves both the eggs and oatmeal and eats plenty at breakfast.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lunches usually include a homemade burger (I have a recipe that includes blackbeans, soy and ground beef together I use), deli sandwich and/or some sort of soup or chili (especially this time of year).  This is also when I might do what most people in the US would have for Dinner.  Stir Fry (again, brown or wild rice or a mixture), Porkchops and root veggies, Meatloaf and mashed potato.  We might also get something at McD's or Panda Express if we are out and about (she loves the orange chicken).  Almost every sauce I make has veggies in it as well as what she eats on the side.  One of her favorite veggies is broccoli so &lt;strong&gt;she often asks&lt;/strong&gt; for half veggies/half rice when we are eating at Panda Express.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dinner is often a lot simpler and might be rice (I never use white) and beans, a nutty cous cous concoction that is a family favorite that includes a little quinoa with the cous cous and pistachios or something more traditional like spaghetti (without all the extra trimmings though) and a side of veggies such as roasted squash or zucchini, green beans, peas and carrots. . . (you get the idea).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't do desert very often, but she does get chocolate milk some of the time (2%), has access to candy (but rarely chooses to eat it - seriously, I don't even tell her she needs to ask anymore) and when we are at the theater often gets the &quot;less healthy&quot; stuff for dinner because we are out OR I'll pack sandwiches with carrot sticks, jicama and fruit and a cup of pudding or yogurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is six, tall and skinny, and pretty active, so this is not an over-eating thing (or an infant thing).  I don't believe it is medical because there is no genetic history of such things and we've actually gone through similar periods of time before.  The pattern often is that it lasts about a week or so.  Then, she suddenly grows some (and we have to pull out the hand-me-downs in the next size) and then her appetite goes back to normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the past, having some extra apples and grapes around (or other fruits) along with some yogurt or cheese and a piece of toast or crackers for her to grab has worked.  She also can make herself a peanut butter sandwich at any time really (and I'll help with other ideas if she wishes for them).  The getting up in the middle of the night so hungry she can't get back to sleep part is new though.  I'm expecting it to pass any day now (and to suddenly need the new PJ's, shirts and leggings I got to put in presents under the tree sooner rather than later) but in the meantime I am starting to get concerned about her sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.  Pre-bedtime snack ideas that are healthy to try?  Tricks-of-the-trade for helping her sleep even after she gets hungry?  A Snack that won't be bad for her teeth and gums she can just have by the bed so she doesn't even have to get up and can fall back asleep faster? . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;8:30am ate 3 servings of egg, cheese, sausage fritata that also contained zucchini, and summer squash.  Along side had a smoothie with yogurt, spinach, strawberries, blackberries and a banana.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;9:35 - &quot;Mom, I'm hungry.  Can I have some yogurt raisins and an apple?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Sure Hon.  Do you want a bowl of peanut butter to dip your apples in?&quot;&#xA;&quot;Yumm.  That sounds good mommy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;11:00 - &quot;Mom is it time for lunch yet?&quot;&#xA;Daddy responds, &quot;Do you want to go get a burger? - Have a little Daddy time?&quot;   Apparently she ate all but two bites of her cheeseburger and a sizable amount of fries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1:30 - &quot;Mom, did we have lunch?  I'm hungry.&quot;  She had a little chocolate milk and a pear with a small handful of crackers and a few slices of cheddar.  Half an hour later we added a granola bar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just now - &quot;Mom, I'm hungry again.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FINAL Update: without a lot of change, but with a peanut butter and jelly protein shake (and the diet outlined above) just before teeth brushing and bed - she slept &lt;strong&gt;Really Well&lt;/strong&gt; last night &lt;strong&gt;YEAH!!!!&lt;/strong&gt;.  The shake had crunchy, all natural peanut butter, frozen strawberries, Greek Yogurt, spinach (I know - but she likes one I make with spinach and pineapple in it and when I was making it said, but mom what about the spinach?) and soy protein powder in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By bed she was SUPER tired anyway, and she has awoken with visibly longer legs (when viewing where the cuff falls) than the ones she started the day with yesterday morning.  Can't really tell if its anything we did differently or if it was just time, but I'm keeping all the ideas in mind and getting some great ones on the cooking site too.  I'm sure it will come up again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-04T18:14:57.113" LastActivityDate="2018-02-09T10:02:32.763" Title="My child is constantly hungry. How do I keep her feeling fuller?" Tags="|food|eating|growth|night-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4265" CreationDate="2012-12-02T00:47:21.353" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know I'm responding to this way late, but I have a different (and, in Torben's word, thorough) answer for you. ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disney in particular actually has two &quot;lands&quot; that cater to younger ages and such a variety of rides that it really is fitting for almost any age.  Between 2-4 fantasyland and (3-7) toon town are specifically geared for younger ages and if a family was to stay at a near-by hotel and focus mainly on these areas a child could easily enjoy the park and still get an afternoon nap.  I don't think that even at this age, he will run out of rides to go on - in fact, it is the teens that might feel most limited because so many of the rides are really too small for them.  Plus for someone who is 2-4 there is just a lot to see and take in even not considering rides.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is stroller parking throughout, the restrooms are set up with changing stations, and most of the restaurants are pretty open for all ages.  At the same time, if a crowd and costumed characters will be overwhelming, over stimulating or just scary, I'd wait.  Alice had a great time at two and again at four when my parents brought her.  There are also other age-appropriate rides scattered throughout the park, like finding Nemo near Tomorrowland and Winnie the Pooh just past Splash Mountain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Between say 4 and 9, the magic of the fairy tales and their belief in those tales is really fun and the number of raids available expands somewhat (they also are less needy of that afternoon-nap).  This is the time when posing with characters, collecting autographs and doing things like exploring the tree-house (now Tarzan, used to be Swiss Family Robinson) and castle interior are super fun.  At this age, they can handle rides like the pirates of the Carribean and might even enjoy taking in a show.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As kids move into their pre-teen and teen years, the &quot;magic&quot; might be gone, but hundreds if not thousands of high-school graduates flock to the parks every year for &quot;grad nights&quot; and still have a blast on the faster, more thrilling rides like space mountain and thunder mountain railroad.  By about 8 or 9 most kids should be tall and heavy enough to enjoy all the rides if they wish (I think).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I'd say just about any age is fine (though pre-four he won't remember much of the trip in just a few years because of how their brains grow).  Some tips though - go in the off-season, lines are shorter.  Use the fast passes system so line waits are shorter.  Start by heading to the furthest area of the park from the front gate you want to visit and work your way forward (again, to avoid super long lines and wait times).  Check into the lunches with the characters - you reserve a spot and go to eat a specific time and one of the Disney characters will come and sit with you for a short time while you eat - extra cost and must reserve in advance, but if you don't get to go often - REALLY fun for your little one.  For updates about changes at the parks check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fodors.com/news/story_5478.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Fodor's&lt;/a&gt;.  I'd also recommend bringing grandma and grandpa along (if available).  They'll love seeing your little one take in the sites too and you can take turns with him so you can enjoy a couple of the &quot;big kid&quot; rides too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a lot less about California Adventure and Epcot Center although I know most of the &quot;Pixar&quot; stuff is featured at California adventure so if you are headed to the Anaheim site, you might prefer a park-hopper pass and a couple of days so your little fan can enjoy seeing all of his favorite characters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-03T23:43:24.163" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T23:43:24.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6789" CreationDate="2012-12-02T01:16:38.017" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;As mentioned in your comments, perhaps giving her a high-protein snack pre-bedtime.  An egg maybe or even a protein shake.  You could make a pretty awesome high-protein, pre-bedtime smoothie with peanut or almond butter, yogurt and/or milk and a fruit of some kind.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that eating &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/09/060905225848.htm&quot;&gt;protein&lt;/a&gt; helps to sort of stave off hunger by increasing the hormone that is responsible for suppressing our appetites.  Since carbs are digested and metabolized rather quickly by the body, Alice probably doesn't have a whole lot of fat stores for her body to fall back on once its burned all its carbohydrate fuel.  There are some pretty good &lt;a href=&quot;http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/whattoeat/a/highproteinfood.htm&quot;&gt;foods&lt;/a&gt; that are easy to throw into your dinner plans that don't include necessarily adding meat (which I know we struggle with because meat is sometimes tough on growing jaws): legumes (we like red beans and black beans around here) which work great in chilies or with rice, quinoa is a somewhat-new favorite around here and can easily replace a grain.  The texture is a little weird and can take some getting-used-to.  Cheeses are obviously easy to throw into most dishes.  Plus, throwing some nuts and seeds into her snack-time repertoire could help too.  Especially since it's the holidays and getting your hands on macadamia nuts, cashews, and the like is super easy this time of year.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It certainly sounds like she's going through a growth spurt, and you're probably right, she'll probably get through it in a few days.  Let us know how the added protein helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:  I was cruising around looking for other information about foods that help you feel fuller longer and I ran across &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.foodprocessing.com/articles/2011/focusonhealth_satiety.html&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; article.  The article discusses a study performed in 1995 where a researcher in Australia created &quot;A Satiety Index of Common Foods&quot;.  Using a 240-calorie portion of white bread as a baseline, the researcher gave 240-calorie portions of various foods to volunteers in the study and then asked them to rate their feeling of fullness every 15 minutes over the next 2 hours.  White bread had a satiety score of 100 while potatoes (they don't specifically mention which kind of potatoes.  I'm guessing red potatoes) had a score of 323.  Anyway, the article goes on to discuss various other food types known to help with that feeling of fullness (whole grain!).  Be aware though, the article is clearly written for companies in the food manufacturing industry and devolves pretty quickly into a discussion on various additives that companies can add to their new products to help their consumers feel fuller longer.  Anyway, I imagine if you bulked up her whole grain intake (making spaghetti, for example, with whole wheat pasta) and added a little more protein to dinner she'd be good to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-12-03T14:31:09.010" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T14:31:09.010" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6793" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6795" CreationDate="2012-12-02T03:13:41.107" Score="1" ViewCount="1634" Body="&lt;p&gt;I saw this question posted in answer to one of the questions I posted, and suggested the poster pose it as her own question.  Since she has not done that and I have been curious about what the answers would be, I thougth I'd just post it.  My own little girl had multiple loveys and never got terribly attached to anny of them and refused pacifiers so I've never had to deal with this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The little girl in the original posting had a Baby Anabell from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.smythstoys.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.smythstoys.com&lt;/a&gt;, and had grown extremely attached to it.  I've also had numerous two's kids that had to have a blanket, doll or other toy with them to feel secure all the time.  These things are helpful at early ages in sleep training and while traveling, but what do you do when the child is just to old to need it, but still isn't ready to give it up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T05:58:57.663" Title="How to go about weaning a child from its &quot;Lovey&quot;" Tags="|toddler|daycare|toys|attachment|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6766" CreationDate="2012-12-02T05:11:18.167" Score="6" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask her what she is afraid of, and then listen. Many kids are afraid of drowning, getting burned, being cold, not being able to see when the water is streaming at their eyes, not being able to hear if water is in their ears, the feeling of water in or on their nose or ears. Sometime it's the temperature and sometimes, it's the pressure. It may be something you hadn't thought of-- so ask. If she has trouble articulating, ask her how she feels about water on her head, eyes, nose, ears, cheeks, mouth, neck, body.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Validate her concern-- eg it would be scary to not be able to see! It is important to understand why she is scared-- and let her know that you understand. Then you may have to think creatively about how to address her concern, eg she may prefer to have goggles in the shower so that she can see, until she gets used to closing her eyes against the stream of water.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Show her how you do it. Get your bathing suits on and take a shower so she can see how you cope fearlessly with the shower. How you set the pressure and temperature where you like them, and how you enjoy the whole process. Invite her to join you if she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Empower her to get control. Have her set the water pressure as low as she likes. Have her set the temperature so that it is comfortable. Let her adjust the temperature and pressure and be comfortable turning it to a trickle. Teach her to close her eyes against the streaming water. Teach her how to make sure that when she breathes, she will get a nose full of air, not water. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give her a sponge or a wash cloth that she likes, so that she can wash herself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Six year olds tend to need spot cleaning more than full body showers; most kids don't really make body odors at that age. It's better to compromise than to ruin the trip for both of you! &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T05:11:18.167" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6793" CreationDate="2012-12-02T05:31:12.307" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Basically, if the child still needs it, it is too soon to give it up. There is no medical or psychological evidence that there is an age too old for comfort objects, eg Lovey's. Many children keep them until they make friends at school. Comfort objects are very important for children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching children to cope with stress will help with transitions. Even toddlers can be taught self calming, deep breathing, and excercise as forms of stress reduction. Once children can comfort themselves, they will not need comfort objects. It is very important to encourage healthy and safe methods of stress reduction. While there are countless examples of adults who engage in unhealthy comfort measures, such as alcohol or cigarettes, there are reports of healthy and normal adults who use comfort objects. &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_object&quot;&gt;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_object&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important for children to be able to express their worries to a confidant who does not judge them. For some children, comfort objects serve this purpose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Comfort objects also help children cope with transitions and disappointments in life. Children used comfort objects for support and solace too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important for parents to understand the role the comfort object plays in the child's life so that they can help the child make a smooth transition. If the child is comforted by the object, parents should provide the child with another source of comfort, such as a blanket, hugs, a shirt, or other object that the parents find suitable that the child finds comforting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to help a child leave the Lovey behind is to teach him or her to comfort herself or himself. Think about the healthy ways you calm yourself when you're stressed, and teach your child some of those ways. Some ideas: singing, yoga, deep breathing, talking to a trusted friend, running, dancing, stretching, a nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Threatening, bargaining, bribing, and shaming don't help children learn to sooth themselves.  If the child doesn't say it's time, then it isn't time yet. There is so little in the world that children control, choose your battles. The comfort object means much more to the child than it does to the parent. Try giving comfort instead of taking it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T05:31:12.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6533" CreationDate="2012-12-02T07:19:39.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tantrums occur when a person can't reconcile their view of the world with reality. They can occur at any age. Before you can decide how to handle the behavior, it's important to know what causes it. Ideally they would be prevented by helping him adapt to the triggers. It may help to make a list of triggers and talk with him about them. Listen to what he has to say about the triggers, and see if he has any ideas about how to handle them.  It is likely that he is very motivated to adapt too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also very important to acknowledge that your child is upset. This does not condone the tantrums, but expressing your understanding of what's going on opens the door to communication. Let him know that you understand that he is terribly upset in a way that genuinely matches his level of intensity. Once he sees that you're invested in supporting him, help him understand whether the situation is something he has the power to do something about or not. If it is, outline for him what he needs to do to improve the situation.  If it's not, help him get to an acceptable behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Acceptable behaviors might be deep breathing, exercise, crying, or talking with someone he trusts who will listen to him. As far as emotional regulation, try to identify the things you do for emotional regulation. For example, things like going for walks, doing yoga or a martial art or meditating, or listening to music may be ways to help with emotional regulation. Teach him some of these techniques. It's difficult for children because they are not permitted many of the outlets that adults have, such as driving, swearing, substances, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's best to not compare him to his siblings if you can avoid it. It's particularly difficult for middle children to find their niche in the family. It will help him to develop a skill that he can excel at (sport, music, drawing, computer skills, or whatever he's interested in) so that he can develop a positive sense of self.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T07:19:39.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6786" CreationDate="2012-12-02T07:37:08.443" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;You or your neighbor should definitely contact an authority. You've described child neglect which is reportable to authorities. To not report it would cause harm and could lead to worse problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because there is concern about (abuse or) neglect, a trained professional, such as a doctor or fireman, should be called. One way to deal with this would be to call the childrens' pediatrician-- or any pediatrician-- or even 911 in the US to help. The other way is to call the National Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The role of the authorities is to assess the situation and determine the way to protect the children. Most authorities try for kinship care-- placement of the children with a close family member. The methodology of their assessment and decision making is locally controlled. But a delay in reporting is universally dangerous to the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Delay in reporting known neglect is considered neglectful, so a report should be made as soon as possible. The sooner your neighbor reports the neglect, the more likely she is to see her grandchildren again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/manda.cfm&quot;&gt;http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/manda.cfm&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;I don't know what state you're in, but every state has a reporting system:&#xA;such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/safety/abusereport.asp&quot;&gt;http://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/safety/abusereport.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is critical that you or she arrange for an assessment, for the sake of these children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T07:37:08.443" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5650" CreationDate="2012-12-02T07:43:46.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;She should pump if she feels engorged or if she wants to build up a supply.&#xA;You'll know your baby's getting enough if the diapers are wet every 3 hours and if she's gaining weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T07:43:46.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6248" CreationDate="2012-12-02T07:52:26.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take some individual time with your 2 year old every day. Tell her that you love her and that after the baby comes you will still love her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her know that she's going to have a new important job of being a sister, and tell her that being a sister means loving the new baby too and teaching her things. Ask your two year old what she wants to teach her little sister. Help her start bonding now, and let her have some input on important decisions, like what toys the new baby will need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also very important to listen to any concerns that your two year old has about the new baby. She may have fears about not being your baby anymore. Listen to her, and make time for her, and help her develop her identity as a sister. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Books like Best Ever Big Sister, by Karen Katz &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books/about/Best_Ever_Big_Sister.html?id=ineRAQAACAAJ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://books.google.com/books/about/Best_Ever_Big_Sister.html?id=ineRAQAACAAJ&lt;/a&gt; are also helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T07:52:26.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5649" CreationDate="2012-12-02T07:59:02.863" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your baby likes your finger but spits out the pacifier, it may be that she is so eager for the pacifier but disorganized, so she pushes it out of her mouth before it can calm her. When a baby is super fussy, they are too frantic for the pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the 5 S's (above) are too much for you, try just putting her hands together in front of her and holding her with her tummy down, back facing up, on your arm, swaying her gently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This calms 99 percent of babies who have been fed. Then once she's organized and not wailing, try the pacifier or holding her hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T07:59:02.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27" CreationDate="2012-12-02T11:13:50.220" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 24-weeker came home on lots of meds so I would recommend a couple of dry-erase boards with one being placed where the medicines are kept.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And we tracked feedings/meds with a google spreadsheet for the first couple of months, in addition to the dry erase boards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the babies room is situated on a different floor than the kitchen, you may wish to consider a small fridge in or near the babies room for bottles and for meds that have to be refrigerated).  Or just use a cooler with ice packs (that's what we did).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Video monitor--early on, we situated it so we could see the pulse-ox readout and the baby so we could see if it was just a sensor issue due to him moving around (happens a lot) or if he was actually low due to something like the canula popping out (happens a lot too).  We later used a tablet running IPWebCam to view the pulse-ox (can be viewed from web browser).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll also echo the Amazon Prime--a must have (IMO)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="460" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T11:13:50.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2194" CreationDate="2012-12-02T15:14:47.133" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have plenty of experience with this one!  If your niece is at your home or is doing something that is directly impacting you (or your young kids), you have every right to calmly and respectfully &quot;correct&quot; the behavior as you would in any other situation - whether the parents like it or not.  If your niece is old enough to speak, Try, &quot;I don't like &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;, could you please &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; instead.&quot; or &quot;At my house we &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;, instead of &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;___&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;  If she is not old enough to speak try redirecting her, &quot;Oh look at this toy, isn't that cool?  . . .&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that kind of a response doesn't work, then speaking with your brother and his partner is probably a good idea.  Most reasonable people would see that you asked politely and a response was not made. Since those reasonable people want their children to grow up to be respectful adults, they'll do something themselves or let you in on how they usually deal with such experiences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, my sister in law, always has an excuse, &quot;well she was just tired.&quot; or &quot;they're over-excited - just ignore it.&quot;  This kind of thing would be said when the initial, &quot;Hey at my house we &lt;strong&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt; instead of.&quot; Or, &quot;please stop, I don't like that.&quot;  Even gentle redirection brought her to us with all kinds of excuses as to why a child should not even get the request to behave differently (even in the case of inflicted harm, broken objects and other out-side-the-norm mal-adjusted behaviors).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just in case your brother and his partner are equally unreasonable, I would say that as a third step applying your own discipline while in your own home is well within your rights - barring of course, verbal or physical abuse.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tough part about that is that you do have to be careful to choose a discipline style with your niece that you can actually enforce.  Since, in my case the mom always &quot;saved&quot; her kids from even having their faulty action pointed out as such, we stopped inviting them as a family.  Amazingly, (perhaps) the kids still come occasionally and are generally better-behaved when mom and dad aren't around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally use a style with the kids that includes questioning rather than blaming or &quot;punishing.&quot;  Considering the age of your niece and depending on maturity, I might say, &quot;what do you think the consequences of &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt; are if you did this as an adult?&quot;  or  &quot;What would happen if you did &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt; to a friend? - would you be invited back?&quot;  Followed with, &quot;I love you and want you to be successful here and with friends.  What do you think you could do instead?&quot;  As long as mom and dad aren't around to interrupt - I've had a lot of luck with the method.  Just yelling or &quot;telling off&quot; isn't likely to get you anywhere with your niece's behavior even if your brother and his partner stand with you so I would recommend against that particular action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-03T05:16:07.707" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T05:16:07.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6708" CreationDate="2012-12-02T16:27:08.390" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Habits exist because they make it easier for us to cope with some situations. If you focus on eliminating the habit, coping will become more difficult. Try to focus on meeting the need that the habit is soothing. For example if a child is hair biting when she is worried, teach her to recognize her body's signs and her mind's signs that she is worried-- including hair biting. You can do this by asking her how she feels, or how her tummy feels and how her head feels etc-- when she is biting her hair.  Then, once she can identify these signs, she can use them to trigger a safe, acceptable way of coping, such as deep breathing, talking to a trusted friend, singing, meditating, or exercise. Any time you want to break a habit, think of what you want to replace it with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hair chewing, lip chewing, and nail biting typically begin as self-soothing behaviors. So much of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6793/how-to-go-about-weaning-a-child-from-its-lovey&quot;&gt;How to go about weaning a child from its &amp;quot;Lovey&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt; is relevant here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, identifying sources of stress is very important. Ask the child what they worry about, and then listen. If the child doesn't articulate what bothers her or him, then try to be observant. If you can identify situations when the child is likely to start the habit, you may be able to help prevent it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching the child other self comfort measures is very important. Though rare, hair chewing can lead to bezoar production. Aside from cosmetic concerns lip biting and nail biting are generally safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Calling attention to the habit will not help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occasionally a habit that begins because of anxiety can continue because it is just physically soothing. For this situation, some may be acceptable, and others may be worth trying to desensitize. Exercise, dancing, or other physical play are great ways to cope with physical habits because they shifts the focus of the mind and body away from the habit's specific body part into something more fun and productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T16:27:08.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6789" CreationDate="2012-12-02T16:45:52.767" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking at her diet it is actually too healthy! Children should get half their calories from fat, and have high protein levels as well. They should get their veggies to be sure, but stoke her up on high energy, long-lasting stuff that &quot;sticks to your ribs&quot; as my grandfather said. Chuck some cheeseburgers and fries her way!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good dairy fats are something easy to work into a diet. Try giving her full-fat greek yogurt with a spoon of jam, honey, or agave nectar in it for flavor. Cheese is good, so work that in with some home-made macaroni and cheese with some meat and veggies on the side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the carbs side long-lasting carbs would be good as well rather than processed ones. Real oatmeal made with full fat (whole) milk is a good breakfast option as it is slow-release. Home-made or artisan bread made with flours like rye, spelt, oats, etc are much better than the artificial junk that masquerades as bread in the supermarket these days as they are far less processed. Brown rice rather than white. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really it's just getting the balance between fats, protein, carbs, and fruits and veggies right. Once she's full up and putting on some weight you can work in less fats. It doesn't matter what time of the day she eats them, as long as she gets the right calories sometime during the day she won't wake up hungry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T16:45:52.767" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6762" CreationDate="2012-12-02T19:31:48.927" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No it is not too late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child listens in one language and responds  in another, it may help to assign one language per person who talks (or lives) with him. For example, when you speak to him, only speak in English, even if he responds in Portuguese. Have his mother only speak to him in Portuguese, even if he answers in English. This will help him keep the languages distinct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to use only English at home, and trust that he will Learn Portuguese in school and from other people in your community. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some more tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.omniglot.com/language/articles/bilingualkids1.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.omniglot.com/language/articles/bilingualkids1.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T19:31:48.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6806" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6808" CreationDate="2012-12-02T20:10:42.500" Score="6" ViewCount="882" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife now is in twentieth week of pregnancy. I would like to know which kind of music is the best for the baby's development, of if you can point me to some literature on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3499" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-12-03T11:34:54.240" LastActivityDate="2012-12-30T17:50:03.343" Title="Music for gestation - what should baby be hearing while in the womb?" Tags="|development|pregnancy|music|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1112" CreationDate="2012-12-02T22:50:28.207" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The message changes over the years. We started with the &quot;Don't talk to strangers&quot; when that was all my daughter could understand. The message we give her at 11 is more nuanced and includes the multiple forms of risk:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;most (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;82%&lt;/a&gt;) molesters are friends of the family or family itself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;on the internet, your 11 yo pen pan could be a 45yo man.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;manipulation is as great a risk as violence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;violent attacks can be fast and unexpected. She is very tall and has a lot of martial arts training, but I reckon a man could overpower her with a single punch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;risk management is more useful than a kick in the goolies.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We balancing this message with the fact that such attacks are rare, especially if the child is vigilant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not believe that this has affected her social skills adversely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T22:50:28.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6806" CreationDate="2012-12-02T22:59:42.533" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any music you enjoy listening to, that you plan to play after the baby is born would be appropriate. Human voices are best for learning speech processing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborns can recognize the voices of people whom they heard speaking before birth.&#xA;Normal sounds, including mother's heart beat, walking, and parents' voices are appropriate for development. Some would say the most important sounds are voices, not music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The developing brain is processing all the senses in an integrated way. Rhythm-- motion with music-- and prosody (emphasis with speech) are examples of multimodal integration that babies can process before they are born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider taking a multimodal approach to sensory integration, rather than just focusing on one sense organ. Consider reading &quot;The Integrated Development of Sensory Organization&quot; by Robert Lickliter in the December 2011 issue of Clinics in Perinatology &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/journal/00955108/38&quot;&gt;https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/journal/00955108/38&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some other references.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Moon et al (2000)  J Perinatol. Evidence of transnatal auditory learning. Dec;20(8 Pt 2)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ockleford et al (1988) Responses of neonates to parents' and others' voices. Early Hum Dev. Nov;18(1) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mampe et al, Current Biology Newborns' Cry Melody Is Shaped by Their Native Language. Volume 19, Issue 23, 15 December pg 1994–7&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kisilevsky et al (2009) Fetal sensitivity to properties of maternal speech and language. Infant Behav Dev. Jan;32(1)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gualtieri et al (2006) The importance of sounds in our psychic life and in mother-child relationship; L'importanza dei suoni nella vita psichica e nel legame fra madre e figlio 13(4) - Scopus&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3501" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T22:59:42.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6806" CreationDate="2012-12-02T23:00:39.710" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on what I've read (mostly a long time ago), it is good for baby to be hearing classical music in particular throughout gestation and into infant-hood based on &lt;strong&gt;anecdotal&lt;/strong&gt; evidence.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While, admittedly, scientists can't really agree on what is going on, and scientific studies are inconclusive, there is general agreement that classical music has a positive impact of some sort - even just to make baby's neurons fire more often.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgvfvdFFrb4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;TED talk&lt;/a&gt; discusses babies learning in the womb in general.  Many mothers will attest to babies responding to music before and after birth.  There was also &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/1432495.stm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a study&lt;/a&gt; done that was well publicized around 2001 (the actual study is not available in full online) about babies recognizing music they were played while in the womb even at age one, but the study only tested 11 babies and doesn't seem to have had a control so scientists will generally not site it as scientific (and I have to agree).  However, that doesn't mean the &lt;strong&gt;anecdotal&lt;/strong&gt; evidence is completely worthless.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.expectantmothersguide.com/articles/pregnancy/benefits-of-prenatal-music.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; sums up the commonly agreed upon ideas about music in the womb by the general populace - even if it is still theoretical and anecdotal.  It mentions the belief that children will remember what they hear in the womb - based on that same study that only tested 11 children.  Keep in mind the article is written by some one who wants to sell prenatal music to expectant parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_music-and-your-unborn-child_6547.bc#articlesection2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; speaks more about why the sound does not need to be loud for baby to hear it as well as the difference between what anecdotal evidence has told us about gestational music and scientific studies.  Again, the &lt;strong&gt;anecdotal evidence&lt;/strong&gt; seems to be there, but scientific study has been inconclusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to be careful about how loud the music is.  While sounds are muffled (not unlike what you hear of sounds from the pool deck when you swim), amniotic fluid does conduct sound nicely.  Baby can hear you when you are just speaking.  I've read one article that says no louder than 70 decibels and another that says no louder than 50.  The article I linked agrees with the 50 decibel limit.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently read in one article, but also remember discussion about Rap and Rock within the context of the conversation.  Many believe these genre's of music aren't generally recommended because some believe that exposure to chaotic and discordant music can have a negative effect.  I would argue there are examples of classical music that are a bit &quot;chaotic and discordant&quot; while some rock songs are not at all &quot;chaotic or discordant.&quot;  Even Beethoven's second symphony has quite a few discordant notes representing the hiccups and burps he frequently struggled with due to gastrointestinal difficulty.  Stravinsky is well known for using discordant combinations in his music.  When I was pregnant with my little one, &quot;When September Ends&quot; by Greenday was on the radio a lot, so she heard it a lot while I drove to and from work.  I swear she started dancing every time she heard it and she still loves the song.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO, Use your judgement.  Baby can hear you, music and whatever you are playing and doing through much of the pregnancy - even without any specific effort needed.  If you want to do the music during gestation thing, try to choose music that is generally peaceful or up-beat - something that relaxes mom - and just play it on your stereo, but don't get particularly concerned about &quot;perfect choices.&quot;  There doesn't really seem to be strong evidence one or way or another about the music making a huge difference. Most likely, it impacts the child's ability to relax more than how smart or musically inclined they will be if anything at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-30T17:50:03.343" LastActivityDate="2012-12-30T17:50:03.343" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2012-12-02T23:48:53.603" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just because he can hear some things doesn't mean that he can hear all the frequencies needed to understand speech-- or to make clear speech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's time for a developmental assessment, including a hearing test and evaluation for early intervention for speech therapy and possibly other therapies as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his hearing is normal, he could have a different language processing problem. Either way, speech therapy should help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-02T23:48:53.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2012-12-03T00:21:03.597" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tantrums occur when a person (of any age) realizes that their view of the world and reality are not the same. When a child has a tantrum, the child is struggling to cope with this difference, and adjusting their world view. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important for children to feel safe and loved, especially when they are having trouble coping with a reality that they can't cope with. When a child has an outburst, he or she is communicating to you that there is a problem. While you may not agree that the problem matters, it is important for you to acknowledge that to them, it is a serious problem. (Otherwise they will keep trying to tell you or anyone! Once the child knows you hear their pain, she or he doesn't have to broadcast it anymore. The trick to achieving quiet is to seriously let the child know that you understand the gravity of the situation in a way he or she understands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the child sees that you get it, he or she will relax for a moment to give you a chance to solve the problem. (eg tell them that they don't have to drink the milk, leave the park, stop taking their sister's toy, playing with the oven etc.) This is when you have to either solve it or give them a coping mechanism. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About coping mechanisms. First identify your own. What do you do when you're stressed? drink tea, yell, have some quiet alone time to cool down, take deep breaths, call a friend, cry, go for a run, meditate, swear, drink or smoke....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next identify which ones are appropriate for your upset child: take deep breaths, cry, have some quiet alone time to cool down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to teach your child to use these coping techniques on a regular basis, when she is not stressed. Then, when it's tantrum time, you can redirect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's more from the American Academy of Pediatrics:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, choose your battles. Nutritionally and medically, two year olds don't need to drink cow's milk. Some 2 year olds have lactose intolerance. There is no need for milk after infancy. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=site%3aaap.org%20aap%20parents%20choose%20when%20food%20is%20served%20obesity&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=3&amp;amp;ved=0CDgQFjAC&amp;amp;url=http://www2.aap.org/obesity/community_advocacy/IOM_ObesityPrevention.pdf&amp;amp;ei=NO-7UKnfJav9iQLV9YC4Bg&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNHhvPj_YHST2dUxx2z-DzAW3X-ucA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics has a policy statement about preventing obesity in children&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It recommends that parents choose what foods are served, when mealtime is, and where it is served.  Children get to decide whether they eat or drink, and how much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T00:21:03.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3284" CreationDate="2012-12-03T02:51:06.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We all stay at the table together until everyone is finished.  No one gets up - except to go potty and wash hands again if needed.  This means that whether finished or not there is not popping up to go play.  Nothing else happens at meal times, just eating and sharing conversation about our day, the news or whatever it is that is going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stress that sometimes it is mommy's turn or daddy's turn to share something about the day and that he should be eating when it is someone else's turn to speak.  Make time to do this for at least one meal per day. 45 minutes to about an hour tends to be a healthy amount of time for eating and conversation.  You can't do a lot more than already suggested about school - etc.  He will get distracted.  It is an unfortunate part of growth.  However, they also won't starve. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also speak with the pediatrician about your concerns.  It seems strange that you mention a change in percentiles in height and not in weight.  Normally, the first thing effected would be weight.  He may just grow at a slower pace than his peers, but if there is something else going on (even nutritionally) a pediatrician is the one that will have the best ability to diagnose and make recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T02:51:06.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6769" CreationDate="2012-12-03T03:27:52.407" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most recent example I can think of is &quot;Full House&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Sadly, for ideological reasons, modern entertainment industry in USA deliberately shows fathers in the worst possible light - either as &quot;missing and not necessary or missed&quot;, or &quot;not missing but better off if were missing&quot;, or &quot;bumbling Al Bundy morons&quot;. Note that @balancedmama's answer almost exclusively lists OLD shows.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I will second @GdD's assertion that a movie/TV role model won't be of much help anyway. The trouble usually is NOT in not knowing how you should behave, but in being able to follow the rules of how you think you want to behave in an actual parenting situation, where nerves are thin, patience is thinner, and rational thought is hard to come by.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give is something which seems rather silly but seems to work often - ask around on forums what the likely problematic scenarios will be that will arise, and &lt;strong&gt;play-act and rehearse your reactions to them, a LOT, so they are natural and reflexive.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(think of it as parenting katas, if you are into martial arts).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2018-03-26T12:47:41.640" LastActivityDate="2018-03-26T12:47:41.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6815" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6822" CreationDate="2012-12-03T09:18:58.643" Score="10" ViewCount="7791" Body="&lt;p&gt;Example: If during breast feeding, I keep on eating lots of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghee&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Ghee&lt;/a&gt;, Coffee, etc., it may or may not harm me.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BUT,&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;em&gt;- Will those substances have an effect on the milk produced?&lt;br&gt;&#xA; - Will the baby be affected in any way by drinking my then produced breast milk?&lt;br&gt;&#xA; - Are there some certain kinds of foods that do affect the breast milk, and others that don't?&lt;br&gt;&#xA; - What are the dos and don'ts w.r.t a mother's diet during breast feeding?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="1689" LastEditDate="2013-03-20T13:42:11.687" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T07:56:10.817" Title="Does a breast feeding mother's diet affect the breast milk produced?" Tags="|infant|food|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6806" CreationDate="2012-12-03T11:08:14.283" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard all the same suggestions about listening to music and types of music and whatnot, and think it's all a bunch of bunk.  Maybe it has some deterministic effect, but even if it does I think it's minor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby's ears are hardly developed, and even if they were they'd be listening through inches of flesh.  They aren't going to &quot;hear&quot; much; maybe just the bass rhythm.  And there's not really any scientific proof that what one &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; hear in the womb actually influences development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exercise and diet are the things to focus on during pregnancy.  I wouldn't worry about much outside that, until science proves otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After your child is born there are many, many things you can do to influence their development, and at that point music education (among many other things) definitely does have a proven role to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T11:08:14.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6806" CreationDate="2012-12-03T14:37:32.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/5691/is-classical-music-good-for-a-pregnant-woman-and-her-baby&quot;&gt;There doesn't appear to be any evidence&lt;/a&gt; to support the idea that there is any concrete &lt;em&gt;long-term&lt;/em&gt; benefit for playing music to babies still in the womb.  There does appear to be a &lt;em&gt;short-term&lt;/em&gt; improvement for specific spatial tasks found after listening to some classical music pieces (the so-called &lt;em&gt;Mozart Effect&lt;/em&gt;), but the studies that introduced us to the idea were performed on college students, not infants in the womb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I don't think there's any harm to it, you'd probably be better off by having your wife read to the baby, or even just talk, as there are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/05/030513080440.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;studies that suggest babies can recognize their mother's voice in the womb&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I spent a fair amount of time talking to my wife's belly when she was pregnant, as well.  I don't know if it has the same effect as a mother talking, but it certainly made &lt;strong&gt;me&lt;/strong&gt; feel more engaged, and that alone justifies it, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it does seem that infants can hear and recognize vocal rhythms and patterns, although the embryonic fluids and the mother's abdomen dampen out all but the lower frequencies.  Babies may even be able to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rps.psu.edu/probing/inutero.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;differentiate languages&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While infants can’t understand words, they are adept learners of vocal rhythms and patterns. Remarkably, this information allows them to differentiate between languages from birth. Observes Gilmore,“There are studies that show a two-day-old infant’s preference to the mother’s native language, even when spoken by unfamiliar voices.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because her vocal chords resonate easily through body tissue and fluid, a mother’s voice is the lead lecturer in prenatal lessons. “In fact,” elaborates Gilmore, “if the mother is bilingual, the information contained in those languages might shape the development of the brain and predispose children to learning those languages after birth.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it is important to remember that the benefits of these fascinating aspects of in utero learning are limited:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“It’s important to understand that, while in utero learning does indeed exist, the type of learning is quite simple,” he concludes. “There’s very little evidence of any specific thing a parent can do to affect a child’s intelligence or temperament before birth.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T14:37:32.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6815" CreationDate="2012-12-03T15:47:09.440" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes,&lt;/strong&gt; the mother's diet definitely affects the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own family's experience is that what you eat makes a big difference. Some infants are very sensitive to onions (gives the baby gas), or spicy food, or coffee/caffeine, or even cow-milk products. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the general advice is to &lt;strong&gt;continue eating your regular diet&lt;/strong&gt; and see how that works, before you change anything in the diet -- chances are that the baby will be fine. Only if there are problems (stomach aches, gas) should you consider changing the diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless what your diet was before the pregnancy, just make sure that you get enough vitamins and minerals while pregnant and while breastfeeding. Also, listen to the body: if you crave something in particular, it's probably not a coincidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A quick Google search reveals these articles that seem good:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=26010&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MedicineNet.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/nutrition/for-women/healthy-breastfeeding-diet-tips-what-to-avoid-love.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;FitDay&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.artofbreastfeeding.com/?p=19&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Art of Breastfeeding&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I know -- I need to summarize the linked articles. I will do so later.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Alcohol&lt;/strong&gt; goes straight to the milk, so breastfeeding mothers should avoid it. However, it's probably all right to sip a little red wine for instance because ½ glass of red wine won't give you a significant amount of alcohol and the amount that arrives in the milk is a minuscule fraction of that.  So it's best to abstain, but don't freak out over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Coffee/caffeine&lt;/strong&gt; takes 3-5 hours to work. Don't ask me why it's slower than alcohol; this is not a science website :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-12-03T18:55:58.107" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T18:55:58.107" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6815" CreationDate="2012-12-03T15:52:28.360" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't answer &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of your questions, but I can give it a good shot:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Certain substances you eat have been shown to affect breastmilk production.  Most of these substances are herbs.  For example, apparently people have been using &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/herbs/fenugreek/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fenugreek&lt;/a&gt; to increase milk supply for hundreds if not thousands of years.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_breast-milk-interactions-chart_8788.bc?page=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; website has an interesting list of herbs that nursing mothers should stay away from for the most part as they are known to either leach into the breastmilk or decrease milk supply.  Granted, I have never heard of most of the herbs on the list, but in different parts of the world, who knows?  Other foods that can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.milkmakers.com/milk-supply/foods-that-may-affect-milk-supply/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;decrease milk supply&lt;/a&gt; include:  parsley (if eaten in large quantities), peppermint or spearmint oil (peppermint tea is ok, but mothers who eat Altoids have apparently seen a drop in milk supply), sage and oregano, cabbage leaves which are a topical suggestion for engorgement can cause a drop in supply if the treatment is overdone, and alcoholic beverages.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-diet/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;webpage&lt;/a&gt; does a pretty good job, I think, of summing up eating and breastfeeding by pointing out that moms all over the world manage to produce perfectly healthy breastmilk while eating diets comprised almost entirely of rice with very few veggies and/or meat in their diet.  It is suggested that pregnant and nursing mothers refrain from eating certain types of fish that are known to be &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-foods/#fish&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;high in mercury&lt;/a&gt;:  shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish specifically, and, depending on who you talk to, tuna.  It suggests that you simply restrict your caffeine and alcohol intake, but this is sort of on you.  I am a caffeine junkie.  If I start drinking caffeine in the morning, I will drink it all day.  If I'm going to limit my caffeine intake, it's better for me to just avoid it altogether.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_breast-milk-interactions-chart_8788.bc?page=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;site&lt;/a&gt; gives a breakdown of caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and THC and how they affect breastmilk.  Basically, stay away from nicotine and THC altogether, limit your caffeine in-take to about 300 mg a day, and if you're going to consume alcohol either feed your baby beforehand or have pre-pumped milk or formula on hand.  You need to wait at least 2 hours after having one alcoholic drink before you can nurse again.  Obviously, if you partake in more than one drink, this time will increase.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cow's milk protein and peanut protein are known to pass into the mother's breastmilk, but unless your child is indicating an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/infant-food-allergy.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;allergy&lt;/a&gt; to either of these substances, it's not necessary to eliminate them from your diet.  Other foods known to occasionally cause allergies in nursing infants include:  shellfish, eggs, wheat (gluten), citrus fruits, soy, and food additives.  This is incredibly rare, however, as breastfeeding in and of itself provides protection against many, many allergies, so you shouldn't need to really adjust your diet with too much worry unless, as I said before, your child starts showing some indications of food allergies or intolerance.  For signs/symptoms of food allergies or sensitivities, see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/breastfeeding/pages/Infant-Allergies-and-Food-Sensitivities.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a%20No%20local%20token&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;See #1.  Granted, I dealt more with foods that decrease milk supply than foods that increase milk supply.  Seems like most nursing moms I know worry more about their milk supply going down than their supply going up, but most Lactation Consultants, doctors, and midwives (and half-way reputable websites) will advocate that nursing mothers exhaust every other method of increasing their milk supply before turning to herbal supplements (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/increasing-your-milk-supply&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this site&lt;/a&gt; for a fairly exhaustive list of methods of increasing your milk supply). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;See #2 above. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="1689" LastEditDate="2013-03-20T13:42:24.353" LastActivityDate="2013-03-20T13:42:24.353" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6652" CreationDate="2012-12-03T17:15:06.657" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to Skeptics.SE: never. Banana's ripeness has almost no effect on constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/13907/does-the-ripeness-of-a-banana-have-any-effect-on-causing-constipation/13911#13911&quot;&gt;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/13907/does-the-ripeness-of-a-banana-have-any-effect-on-causing-constipation/13911#13911&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2012-12-03T17:15:06.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3244" CreationDate="2012-12-03T22:40:41.853" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a classroom devoted to severe ADHD cases for three years.  This is how I thought about it and handled things for many of my kids.  This is also the basics of the techniques I am using with my own daughter that is going to be evaluated shortly and has been struggling significantly with writing done in the &quot;traditional way.&quot;  Since switching to some alternative techniques (some of which are outlined here).  She has also had a lot more success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Writing requires significant multi-tasking because the brain has to consider the physical motions of the action of writing, the grammar and structure of what is being written, the phonetic and metaphoric symbolism (when used) as well as mechanics including spelling and punctuation and that is just to write a sentence!  Now, write a paragraph or more and you have to think about over-all idea organization and structure, main ideas and supporting details and a variety of other more complicated writing strategies.  Writing becomes a daunting task for any kid.  Now add the peculiarities of the ADHD brain and you've set the poor kid up for quite an uphill climb (&lt;a href=&quot;http://thesekidsaredrivingmecrazy.com/q-a-a/9-qare-there-special-writing-challenges-for-children-with-adhdq&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;see here&lt;/a&gt; for why writing is particularly difficult when you have ADHD).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Chunk the Work - and Teach your Child how to Break it into Chunks Himself eventually&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have suggested, it is a good idea to break the task down into doable chunks.  Plan ahead and avoid procrastination at all costs.  The teacher, if understanding, might be able to help him with this by making smaller &quot;chunked&quot; assignments for a little while with him and model for him how she does this.  For example, if three days are given for a three paragraph essay, the first night might be for research and a brainstormed list of important ideas to include, the second for an outline of your child's chosen three main ideas and supporting details he would like to include and the third night for actually getting the order down and then writing the actual sentences.  Each &quot;chunk&quot; is given its own deadline.  For awhile, he might turn in the &quot;chunks&quot; to his teacher each day, or at least turn them in to you to check off as complete.  Hopefully writing is usually turned in and the editing process is included as a second assignment and part of the learning process.  If not, make sure to leave editing its own night, it is important to have time to sleep on written work and make changes after a little rest.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Turn the Writing Process Upside Down - Sort Of&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This method allows his non-linear way of thinking to get his ideas down and THEN do the planning and organizing secondarily which typically just works better for ADHD kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You'll still teach him to start with brainstorming.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he'll form his sentences or the ideas he wants to include &lt;strong&gt;before&lt;/strong&gt; making the outline.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he'll rearrange his sentences so they are structured into an order that makes sense for what he is writing and create his outline.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He'll add more supporting details if necessary. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he'll check for flow and add transitions where needed to move the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finally he'll edit for spelling, mechanics and grammar.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't put it on plain old lined paper&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can your child respond to questions verbally and record them in a brainstorming session rather than having to write everything down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By recording his ideas in an audio format, he can then push pause as much as he needs while listening and getting the ideas he wants to keep written down onto paper, or better yet, index cards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he can use index cards (or Powerpoint slides) After he has his index card &quot;notes&quot; written down he can arrange them and rearrange them to try out different outline's or organizational structures for his essay/story/whatever.  His &quot;notes&quot; could even be sketches instead of words if he thinks more visually (as many of these kids do).  Encourage him to use the cards as an animator would use a storyboard until he's got the story just right.  Then, he needs to create &quot;captions&quot; or sentences for each idea represented on the cards, unless the cards were traditionally &quot;written&quot; in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he would rather do the card thing on the computer and isn't required to do any of the work with his own handwriting, Powerpoint works well.  He can make a slide for each idea, type the appropriate sentence onto a slide and then shift the slides around.  OR you might use Mindmapping software if you have any of these programs available to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, transferring what his &quot;card essay&quot; says onto the computer and adding transition sentences, formatting and punctuation is all that is really left.  Help with checking spelling and other editing if it is needed and hopefully the whole thing keys into his thinking style a little better and seems more broken down into manageable chunks for him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One trick for editing that really helps the editor not to skip over mistakes is to read it backwards.  It slows the brain down and forces it to look more closely at each word and sentence.  It is also a great idea to read the work outloud because that also slows the pace of reading down just a bit and the auditory portion of things makes the brain register more things as just sounding incorrect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask his Teacher About Alternatives&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the purpose or objective of an assignment isn't about practicing writing skills, but is about showing what he knows about a subject, can he turn in an alternative project?  A Museum display case about the topic?  A documentary style video he creates? Do a presentation or slide show for her?  Can he make a stop-action claymation film about the process he was supposed to have learned?  How about writing a song that teaches about the topic (the alternative chosen would obviously play to his strengths and interests).  Clearly, sometimes he needs to write, but there is A LOT of required writing in elementary school, if &lt;strong&gt;some&lt;/strong&gt; of his assignments can be done by other means - the amount of writing required will be lessened - lessening your stress and his.  He has got time for practicing writing skills - has he got enough time to just be a kid?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have actually now written a six part series on my blog about ADHD Kids and the writing process.  This answers sums up the highlights of that series, but if you would like even more details and suggestions, the series begins with &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/#!/2012/12/writing-tasks-for-adhd-part-1-multi.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; about why writing is so much more difficult for the ADHD kid.  The article has links to further details including technological assists that are available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those of you out there that may be doubting the idea that this disease actually forms a distinct difference that is testable and confirmable, here is a link to just a little info on what is known about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.adhd.org.nz/neuro1.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;differences in brain tissue structure and function&lt;/a&gt; between non ADD and ADD kids.  This link takes you only a brief summary or abstract, but a lot of research has been done.  One doctor I was able to speak to and receive some training under, has also found that the myelin sheath that grows in the frontal cortex actually seems to grow later in ADD/ADHD adolescents and might not become as fully formed until much later in life (if at all) in the ADHD brain.  His studies were in their early stages and had not yet been published (let alone duplicated) but I thought the info might be new and helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-11T20:16:26.133" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T20:16:26.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2012-12-03T23:55:07.523" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try using a towel or cloth to wipe his teeth off (outside, inside, and tops), and then floss. Some children don't like the feel of the tooth brush, and some have a hard time controlling it smoothly. A towel is more direct-- hands on-- and it may be easier to do a thorough cleaning with a cloth. Also, if you're trying to clean the teeth of a struggling child, there's less risk of injury to the child with a towel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastEditorUserId="3495" LastEditDate="2012-12-04T05:40:58.227" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T05:40:58.227" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3849" CreationDate="2012-12-04T00:49:02.427" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the drive home, be a listener.  Ask about her day.  If you get one-two word answers, let it be and let the ride home just be quiet.  She is decompressing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you get home, instill &quot;quiet time&quot; as part of the routine.  This is time to do anything she wants that is silent.  It'll help her brain turn off the &quot;noise&quot; from the day.  I know you have other kids too, so it would probably be helpful to have this quiet time for all.  Read books, meditate, sit individually and listen to calm music in headphones - whatever (15-20 minutes at least - longer if you can and it helps her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow this with 15-20 minutes or so of active play.  This will get the energy up, perk up moods and get the &quot;wiggles&quot; out.  Run around the yard, do some kid's yoga if its cold outside (many kid's yoga poses are moving imitations of animals or rolling up in the mat to make a burrito etc - We use &quot;Yoga Kid's&quot; by Kristen Hall, but here are a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?category_id=420853&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bunch of options&lt;/a&gt;), play tag, have a tickle fight, try to laugh together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she needs the physical activity first, switch the two components order is only important once you establish which order works best for her - but many kids need both some &quot;decompression&quot; time (something we often forget about as adults) and the physical activity to settle back in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then go about things as you usually do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T00:49:02.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6815" CreationDate="2012-12-04T03:38:28.487" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, it's fine to drink a glass of wine provided you wait two hours before breast feeding. Check out the website &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.motherrisk.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;www.motherrisk.com&lt;/a&gt; if you're concerned about what is and isn't OK during breast feeding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, you can eat anything while you breast feed. It's best to eat a diet rich in nutrients because you are feeding your baby. It's similar to how you ate well while you were pregnant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother used to teach a breast feeding class and her philosophy is that breast feeding should be natural and easy. Meaning- don't stress! Eat healthy foods and drink in moderation while avoiding drugs and alcohol and you are on the right track. When things get too complicated, women stop breast feeing. It should be easy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3493" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-17T18:49:29.257" LastActivityDate="2013-03-17T18:49:29.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5605" CreationDate="2012-12-04T05:06:05.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask your child the following questions to help in thinking about it realistically.  I was scared of slenderman but I thought about this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How was he created?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he exists what are the chances he's after you? It's not like you arer the only child in the world&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He's a human too&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he has no face how does he know where you are? Even if he can tele-port how can he know where you are?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3508" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2012-12-04T09:04:34.950" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T09:04:34.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6830" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6833" CreationDate="2012-12-04T09:31:36.140" Score="8" ViewCount="12863" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age should I encourage my kids to go out and find a job (be it part-time or full-time) and start to earn some money and have a taste of what working life is like? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastActivityDate="2019-09-07T17:05:35.600" Title="What age should I encourage my kids to start working and earn his/her money?" Tags="|money|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6831" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7104" CreationDate="2012-12-04T09:35:04.740" Score="3" ViewCount="537" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would appreciate if posters included diagrams or illustrations that show what massages a husband can perform on his wife who is pregnant (going to give birth in 3 to 4 months time) and help her to reduce stress?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-04T14:52:46.237" LastActivityDate="2015-01-10T06:03:08.357" Title="What type of massages should a daddy perform on mummy who is pregnant?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6832" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6835" CreationDate="2012-12-04T09:48:33.327" Score="2" ViewCount="411" Body="&lt;p&gt;cats, hamsters. Should I still keep them when my wife is going to give birth? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is about whether the hair from my hairy pets affect my wife and the baby in term of allergy (The hair might attract dust)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastActivityDate="2012-12-08T00:49:24.107" Title="Should I keep hairy pets when my wife is going to give birth?" Tags="|pets|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6830" CreationDate="2012-12-04T10:17:17.067" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want, this can start very early. You can &quot;employ&quot; them yourself for chores that are outside of the scope that you expect. These first jobs will help them understand that they can earn extra if they are prepared to work for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Note based on comments below:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  By definition, &quot;chores&quot; are understood to be mandatory tasks to be done &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; payment. What I am aiming at in this answer is that kids can perform tasks that &lt;em&gt;exceed&lt;/em&gt; their assigned chores.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Eventually the kids will grow into the age where these extra tasks become the norm, and then the payment should stop - and by then there will be &lt;em&gt;new&lt;/em&gt; &quot;extra&quot; tasks they can do instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they're old enough that you can teach them how to --&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;rake leaves,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;shovel the snow away from the entrance,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;operate the vacuum cleaner, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;then teach them proper operation and tell them what goal you expect. Pay them according to how well they achieved the goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2019-09-07T17:05:35.600" LastActivityDate="2019-09-07T17:05:35.600" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6834" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6839" CreationDate="2012-12-04T11:27:26.410" Score="5" ViewCount="264" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6 months baby and planning my family to grow for at least one, maybe two new members in the following years. My current car (a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C-segment&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;C-segment&lt;/a&gt;) broke down recently, and I'm looking for a new one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the (short) experience I have, I know several things I missed in the old car: more space in the rear seats to fit comfortably an adult and 1 or 2 car-seats, a bigger boot/trunk (the baby pram/stroller's + carrycot/portacrib® simply occupied all of it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After my baby was born I got surprised of the many things we needed which I didn't expect to be useful before becoming a parent. I'd like to avoid that lack of knowledge &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; getting the new car. What will I (probably) need in a car for the following 5 or 10 years? What is your experience?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this question is highly localization biased, as legal and social requirements for having childens in a car are not the same at (e.g.) Democratic Republic of Congo as in Luxembourg. I live in Europe, but (I expect) answers should also work in other similar areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3428" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T23:25:10.833" Title="What should I look for in a new car (automobile)?" Tags="|travel|car-seat|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6832" CreationDate="2012-12-04T13:52:24.973" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Short Version&lt;/strong&gt;: It isn't necessary to get rid of your pets as a precaution.  If you find &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; your baby is born that it is a problem, you can consider isolating or even removing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of allergies, there are two different main allergens referenced in your question: dust and pet hair (more specifically, pet &lt;em&gt;dander&lt;/em&gt;, which is a combination of hair and dead skin flakes, and which is the trigger for most pet-related allergies).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking from personal experience (I have fairly severe dust and dust mite allergies), there isn't much of a direct relationship between the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dust in the home is best handled by ventilation (which increases the exposure to pollens, so choose your allergens carefully!) and cleaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pet dander is best handled, generally speaking, by either ventilation and cleaning, or limiting exposure to the pets.  In many cases, someone with mild-to-moderate pet allergies &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; live with pets without significant discomfort, simply by ensuring that the house is regularly cleaned, and the pets are well groomed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For infants, however, the story is a little bit different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In 1989, scientist David P. Strachan published an article in the British Medical Journal introducing his &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygiene_hypothesis&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&amp;quot;hygiene hypothesis&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In his hypothesis, Strachan suggests that the general increase in incidences of allergies we're seeing may be due to a concomitant increase in our general hygiene, as reduced exposures to infectious agents, microorganisms, and parasites could increase our susceptibility to allergic diseases by suppressing natural development of our immune system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are studies that apparently support this theory, although there are also alternative theories that include the possibility that &lt;em&gt;overexposure&lt;/em&gt; to allergens triggers the allergic diseases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pet ownership does seem to be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=fact-or-fiction-pets-protect-kids-against-allergies&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;associated with decreased risk of allergies&lt;/a&gt; in some, but not all, communities:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to Perzanowski, pet ownership appears to be associated with a decreased risk of developing allergies in some, but not all, communities. For example, in countries with lots of cats, like the suburban U.S. and Australia, a pet cat appears to provide a protective effect. But in countries with few cats, he says, ownership actually increases the risk for allergic sensitization, the immune reaction that often precedes allergy symptoms. And don't even try to understand countries with moderate cat ownership—studies have been inconclusive. As for why these differences exist, no one really knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, that same article cautions that the studies show correlation, but not causation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Such studies don't prove causation, says Carl-Gustaf Bornehag, a public health scientist at Karlstad University in Sweden. Often, people who are allergic to pets—or, because allergies are at least partially hereditary, people who are at risk of becoming allergic because someone in their family is—simply aren't going to own them, he says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This skews study results, making it appear that pets protect against allergies when they actually don't. Although some studies have tried to circumvent this potential bias by stratifying results based on hereditary risk, &amp;quot;until there is a 'randomized distribution of cats trial,'&amp;quot; says Columbia's Perzanowski, &amp;quot;there will always be some chance of confounding by who chooses to own a cat,&amp;quot;—or a dog, for that matter.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article then finishes with what I think is a pretty good summary:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So should parents get a pet if they want to minimize their child's risk of developing allergies? &amp;quot;That's the million dollar question,&amp;quot; says Litonjua, and the short answer, he says, is no. &amp;quot;If you want to get to get a pet to try and prevent allergies, that's probably not a good reason,&amp;quot; he explains. But &amp;quot;if the kids really want the pet—if you want the pet—then go ahead, as long as you're not having any symptoms when you get exposed.&amp;quot; Flea bites and poop aversion, of course, don't count.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Slightly off the original topic, but of possibly relevant interest:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;According to a fairly recent study, &lt;a href=&quot;http://children.webmd.com/news/20120709/many-babies-healthier-in-homes-with-dogs&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;dog ownership has been tied to general increases in overall health of children&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies in homes with dogs have fewer colds, fewer ear infections, and need fewer antibiotics in their first year of life than babies raised in pet-free homes, Finnish researchers find.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Homes with cats saw similar benefits, but not as pronounced as with dogs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its not clear &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; this would be true, but the hygiene hypothesis, and the newer &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v479/n7374_supp/full/479S5a.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;'microbiome or microflora hypothesis&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt; are both cited as possible contributing factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T13:52:24.973" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6834" CreationDate="2012-12-04T14:03:01.303" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer is different depending on whether, and how soon, you will have 3 children. With 3 children you need a people carrier (minivan), or a SUV with extra seats in order to fit in 3 car seats plus 2 adults + battlefield equipment for all 3. I'm not going to make recommendations there because I simply don't know, however I would say that getting flexible seating options would be good. You could reconfigure to have 5 seats plus extra cargo room for example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you plan to stop at 2 or have a long pause between #2 and #3 then go for an E-segment saloon (sedan) with a decent sized boot (trunk). You could go for an estate (station) wagon of course, but I don't find there's that much extra space for the extra weight and loss of handling. I have 2 kids with that size of car and it has enough cargo space for week-long trips. Folding rear seats is a handy feature so you can get long items in, although that has nothing to do with the kids. Make sure that it has &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isofix&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;isofix&lt;/a&gt; bars installed, or installable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3428" LastEditDate="2012-12-04T15:05:56.353" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T15:05:56.353" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6834" CreationDate="2012-12-04T14:49:39.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isofix&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;latch system&lt;/a&gt; is now required in all US cars (that have a backseat anyway) at their building or import so this may be moot.   However, in case you live somewhere this is not required or I am wrong about US law and you live in the US, I highly suggest looking into the &quot;LATCH&quot; system.  All it really means is that the seats have a place to hook car-seats and booster seats in that does not use the seat-belts as the main &quot;staying power&quot; for the seats.  It is supposed to be much safer, but even if it doesn't make a huge difference in safety, it keeps the seats in their proper positions even while kids are jumping in and out of their seats as they get older - that alone is worth it to me.  Keeping those things properly installed seems well worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister in law also felt that having a higher rise was nice when she got to child #3 because she didn't have to bend down to hook him in so much.  It was less important to me - but I only have one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-05T17:31:36.110" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T17:31:36.110" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6831" CreationDate="2012-12-04T14:57:48.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have diagrams or illustrations for you, but I'd suggest you look up pressure points and basic massage techniques and then just listen to your wife.  By &quot;listen&quot; I  mean listen to what she says about how your massage feels and watch for signs of relaxation.  If she sighs or starts seeming more relaxed, you are doing great!  If she gets more tense you might try backing off on pressure or asking her where to try next.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lamaze classes can actually help with the basics in massage technique for pregnancy, but since every woman is different and carries both the baby and her stress in her own unique way, no matter what info you get, you will need to be very attentive to her reactions about it.  When I was pregnant, I was sick all the time and went through points when I didn't want anyone to touch me at all (it often brought on waves of nausea).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you experiment and pay close attention.  Ask her what feels great and listen to her when it doesn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T14:57:48.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6834" CreationDate="2012-12-04T15:53:49.020" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;What my husband and I have discovered recently is that your requirements can change significantly between child 1 and child 2.  When we bought my car (6 years ago), it was a significant step up in size from my 4-door sedan to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sport_utility_vehicle#Full-size_SUV&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;full-size 2-row SUV&lt;/a&gt;.  My son was born a year later.  My daughter was born in July 2010 and my car, which obviously hasn't changed in size, just suddenly seems cramped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, my family and I drive A LOT.  We live in the southeastern US, which is not exactly known for its public transportation systems, and we put a ton of miles on our cars (I drive about 50 miles (80 km) a day just to and from work).  We drive 500 miles (800 km) at least once a month to visit my parents (250 miles each way), and we will be driving another 1800 miles (3000 km) over Christmas to visit my husband's family.  As our kids are growing, the need for space within the car on the long car trips is becoming more of a requirement.  Our next vehicle will be a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minivan&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;minivan&lt;/a&gt; and will have a 3rd row.  I would NEVER have said this 5 years ago because I simply didn't think that we'd ever need anything bigger than what I currently have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In hindsight, here's my thought process:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Safety-wise.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most newer cars on the market are going to be up-to-date with current safety features and requirements.  Some have better safety options than others, but once you've narrowed yourself down to the &lt;em&gt;type&lt;/em&gt; of car you want, you can do more research to determine what safety features are most important to you.  Airbags are pretty standard, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isofix&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;LATCH&lt;/a&gt; is standard here in the US, but things like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backup_camera&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;rear back-up cameras&lt;/a&gt;, lane-change assist, automatic wipers, etc. are not.  These things might not be important to you, but, then again, they might be.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take a look at your lifestyle.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you spend LOTS of time in your car, either because you simply drive frequently or because you take a lot of roadtrips, then having a larger vehicle that accommodates your family and your stuff is important.  Consider the types of trips you take.  If you are big into camping, you're going to need more room for more stuff than if you take road trips and stay with family or in hotels or whatever.  Right now, we want a third row because we're tired of always having to take two cars everywhere we go whenever my parents visit.  It would simply be more convenient for us to load everyone into one vehicle and go.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ease of getting kiddos in and out of the car.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This applies to children in both infant carriers and regular carseats.  There comes a point when your child is going to want to climb in and out of the car him/herself.  How easy/safe is it for them to accomplish that? Also, once you start potty-training, those few extra seconds can mean the difference between making it to the potty and not making it to the potty. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Seat width.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is important when you start looking at different car seats.  Our car seats have a broad base and take up A LOT of space in our backseat.  My husband's car is pretty small and my son has a hard time buckling himself in to his car by himself because his booster almost covers the seat belt connector.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are there &quot;fun&quot; things that aren't 100% necessary but are nice to have that you want?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Navigation, a good sound system, DVD player for the kids, etc?  I never thought I'd care about an in-car DVD system until we started doing significant amounts of road-tripping.  It is now a requirement for our next car.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How much space do you realistically have for this car?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a garage, measure it to make sure you have room for the vehicle.  You don't want to get it home only to discover that it's too long or too wide.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that with the car comes the maintenance.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best friend learned the hard way that buying a bigger car (she went from a sedan to a very large SUV) meant paying more in gas and more for tires.  You don't want to wind up hating the car because the maintenance is so expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is going to sound stupid but it has come in handy for us more than once:  Is there room to change a diaper?  There have been many times we've stopped somewhere only to discover that they don't have any facilities to change diapers.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="3428" LastEditDate="2012-12-05T13:35:26.160" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T13:35:26.160" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6831" CreationDate="2012-12-04T16:31:44.093" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife's favorite pain relief technique for me to do was taught us by our childbirth instructor.  The baby puts a lot of outward pressure on the pelvis, so to provide relief you squeeze her hips together in the back.  It sounds really weird, but judging from her reaction it feels amazing.  I think it works because your muscles temporarily take the strain instead of hers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T16:31:44.093" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6841" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6843" CreationDate="2012-12-04T18:12:49.087" Score="12" ViewCount="6505" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 26 months old, and goes to an in-home daycare with 5-6 other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does very well there, and gets along with the other kids without serious problems (there are the conflicts over sharing that seem inevitable at that age, but all-in-all things are going well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to look forward to going, and dropping him off in the morning is almost never an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Picking him up in the afternoon, however, has started to result in some friction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is becoming increasingly common for my son to be completely wound up when I get there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It used to be that I was greeted by him shouting &quot;daddy!&quot; and running to me when he saw me come in the door.  Now it is more likely that he will should &quot;daddy!&quot;, and then start dancing in the middle of the floor (which triggers several other of the boys to join in), or should &quot;chase me!&quot; and then run away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I go to physically pick him up, he sometimes throws himself onto the sofa, crying that he doesn't want to go, and instead wants to stay and play with his friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to deal with this, and get him out of the door in a reasonable amount of time, with a minimum amount of tears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T21:38:10.283" Title="How can I pick my son up from daycare without a struggle?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6841" CreationDate="2012-12-04T18:19:50.627" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, so this might be a stupid answer, but I had a similar situation occur with me when I was maybe 3 or 4.  My mom arrived to pick me up from daycare, and I didn't want to go.  I insisted that I wanted to stay and play more with my friends.  So my mom said, &quot;Ok, I'll be back to pick you up a little later, then.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first, I was all cool with this.  Then I suddenly realized that my mom was gone and I wasn't ok with her leaving.  I wanted to go with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might not work for you.  There's a chance that you'll leave and he won't want to go with you.  Or it might be that you don't have that kind of time.  But, if you can, you might want to try it just to see what happens.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-12-04T18:19:50.627" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6841" CreationDate="2012-12-04T18:28:26.640" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Offer him a &quot;routine&quot; to give him a sense of control and time to transition.  A repeatable routine would give him a chance to smoothly &quot;wrap up&quot; what he is doing mentally and help him switch contexts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try something along the lines of, &quot;Hi (term of endearment and name) I'm here, you have about 10 minutes to get ready to go.  Can you show me what you are playing?&quot;  Play with him for about five minutes and then say, &quot;I'm going to talk to your teacher and gather your things. We have about five minutes until we leave.&quot;  Talk to his teacher a little, gather his stuff . . .  You get the idea.  It's important to be consistent and accurate with the time estimates so that he can learn to transition-- no bargaining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you tell him it is time to go, you might try something like, &quot;Would you like to hug (teachers name) or blow her a kiss today?&quot;  In doing this you establish that it is time to go, but you are also giving him an opportunity to choose how he goes about leaving - something else two's are subconsciously establishing is how much control they have over their own world.  Then you can make a game out of getting to the car.  How many giant steps does it take?  How many baby steps?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A change isn't likely overnight, but you never know with kids.  Just keep it up and the change will come.  After taking this tact for a few nights, you can &quot;notice&quot; as you do get in the car later, that if he would stop crying and fussing about your arrival, he may find that he gets a little more time to play while you are gathering things and talking to his teacher.  Or, you could try, &quot;I really wished you had been willing to show me what you were playing.  I had five minutes to play with you there and wanted to, what a bummer.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time it does work, when you get to the car, notice that he went with you without a bunch of fussing and crying about it.  &quot;I notice leaving day care today seemed easier for everyone.  What nice choices you made.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's wonderful that he loves his day care! Good Luck. :-)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-06T21:38:10.283" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T21:38:10.283" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6844" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-04T20:35:20.977" Score="4" ViewCount="2713" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 years, 7 months old, and we started potty-training her two months ago. She's gotten to the point where she's great at peeing - not only no accidents, but all-around promptness, awareness and control - but has no control at all over bowel movements. This might actually be a full-blown regression, since she used to sometimes make them on the potty, but in the past couple of weeks she never does. Also, her BM timing is extremely unreliable - she seems to need to go at vastly different times from day to day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not seeing any obvious problem. She's generally cheerful and likes going to the potty; she doesn't seem anxious about it (though sometimes she is not shy about not wanting to go :P). We're always encouraging and we try to avoid any sense of pressure. A lot of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Health-and-Development/-/0-to-4-years/Elizabeth-Pantleys-Potty-Training-Tips-part-two-poo-problems.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;online advice I've found&lt;/a&gt; says the likeliest culprits are stool consistency, and discomfort on the potty, but I'm not seeing any signs of either of those. Possibly she isn't ready yet, and we've simply started too early. It's very hard to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This being the case,&lt;/strong&gt; and assuming we don't see drastic improvement quite soon - &lt;strong&gt;how should we continue with her training?&lt;/strong&gt; We've heard a lot of advice frowning on returning to diapers, and that seems like it would undermine all the progress we've made over the past couple of months. On the other hand, I don't know that it's good for her to be &quot;missing&quot; all the time - all the cleanups, &quot;boring&quot; time waiting on the potty, a sense of failure, getting asked if she needs to go... I'm worried that if this builds up over time, it might stress her out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What options should we consider?&lt;/strong&gt; Tough it out? Take a break? Or is there some middle-way compromise, something we can do to take the pressure off of pooping without going back to diapers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T00:14:16.570" Title="No BM control; what does this mean for training?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6844" CreationDate="2012-12-04T23:58:05.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; be &quot;in control&quot; of knowing when something is coming, but is a little fearful of it.  This can happens for &lt;strong&gt;lots&lt;/strong&gt; of reasons that are impossible for me to know sitting on the other side of the computer screen, and may be difficult for you to figure out - including uncomfortably large or hard poops that have caused her to try to hold it to more psychological reasons that would require the help of a professional (and lots of things in-between).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you asked her about it when she is not headed for the potty (or messy)?  Something like, &quot;honey, is there a reason you know that makes you not put your poo poo in the potty?&quot;  You might have to try a few times, but, if asked in a calm, casual way and given time to think about and formulate an answer - she might surprise you with a clear answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think her poops might be uncomfortably large/hard for her and some constipation may be an issue - check with your pediatrician about dietary changes and stool softeners to help ease things along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some children, a fear of the toilet flushing what they see as a part of themselves away can become an issue.  If you think this may be the case, it is healthy to talk about her poops as &quot;presents for the potty.&quot;  When she has accidents, make sure she sees you put the poop in the potty, say &quot;bye bye poo poo&quot; and &quot;you're welcome potty&quot; and make a game or ritual out of flushing the poop.  After a little time has passed, you may find she might start a &quot;more direct approach&quot; to offering up her poop to the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a different set of signals for the brain, and although there is more time between feeling the &quot;need to go&quot; and the actual &quot;going&quot; especially for a child that wants to be moving and playing sitting and waiting long enough is pretty hard.  If you do decide to keep at it, I suggest sticking pretty close to home for awhile and spending every hour to hour and a half in the bathroom (with her on the potty) reading books and singing songs for ten to fifteen minutes.  Try to make the bathroom a fun place to be so that &quot;wait&quot; doesn't seem like a loss in play time and a big old bore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also possible that she isn't quite ready yet.  For some reason, using the potty for poop is harder for some kids than using it for pee.  You could take a break for awhile.  Many people warn strongly against this.  With kids that are completely ready and are in the middle of things but training just becomes inconvenient stopping in the middle can make things more complicated. However, you're already stalled and she may be mostly there, just not quite.  It isn't likely to make things worse to take a little break - as long as she knows the break isn't happening because of her.  I'd suggest asking her what she thinks to be sure you don't create the situation where in her mind, the break happened because she failed.  &quot;Hey, do you want to keep trying with putting your poo poo's in the potty for awhile, or would you like to take a little break and try again in a couple of months?&quot;  She may have an opinion on the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are training a little later than they used to these days, so You are probably fine, if by the time she is 3 yrs 2 months or so, she still isn't using the potty for both, definitely ask a pediatrician about it so that if it is one of those other more serious reasons you can get her the help she needs.  In all likelihood things will work themselves out before then though.  Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-05T00:14:16.570" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T00:14:16.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3849" CreationDate="2012-12-05T03:46:09.223" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She may need to get more sleep or more quiet time. It's hard to keep it together when you're sleep deprived. There is some evidence to suggest that 4 year olds need to sleep for 10 to 12 hours out of every 24. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 10 out of 24 hours can be divided up, with naps being great ways to give you and her the time you need to recharge, as some of the other answers suggest.  Even if she doesn't sleep, having the downtime in the day can help. You can ask her teacher about naptime at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also want to check out:&#xA;Sleep in children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): a review of naturalistic and stimulant intervention studies.&#xA;by Cohen-Zion et al in Sleep Medicine Reviews, 2004, 8(5):379-402.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T03:46:09.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6848" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-05T04:11:58.373" Score="10" ViewCount="1973" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe any physical activity a child age 1-3 finds interesting is great for developing body awareness.  Tag, throwing balls, running around the house, jumping, rolling around, wrestling, dancing... and we do them all.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they hit ages 4 and up officially organized options start becoming available.  My thought is that they should try everything possible, if interested, to find their favorites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I'd like to start with activities more suited to general body awareness and coordination.  What are some of the best?  My current thought is gymnastics or karate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1716" LastEditorUserId="1716" LastEditDate="2012-12-05T04:40:22.830" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T22:55:04.377" Title="What activities/sports are optimal in developing body awareness in children age 4-5?" Tags="|pre-schooler|health|education|sports|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6849" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6848" CreationDate="2012-12-05T04:41:01.083" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I taught preschool, Kids Yoga was one activity the preschool did with all the age levels to help them tune in to themselves for more body awareness and stress release.  By four, some of the kids started participating in team sports, but for many of their parents it was long Saturdays for very little positive impact as they often complained their kids didn't sleep enough, nor did they really get to play on the days their &quot;teams&quot; met up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swimming classes don't offer a lot in the way of spatial awareness, but offer good physical activity and teach a valuable life skill (that increases your child's level of safety any time he or she is around water) there are swim classes available in many areas for any age, but for the very young may require a parent to be in the pool with the child.  True Body awareness isn't really addressed in these classes until upper levels.  I'll admit my own daughter resisted this one, but I at least got her through to a level where I knew she could get herself to a near-by boat, dock or the edge of a swimming pool if she needed to.  I grew up on an island so I may value this skill more than many - just wanted to point it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to Martial Arts, my daughter started at five and her dojo allows kids to start as early as four but not younger (officially).  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentguidenews.com/Catalog/HealthFitness/AwarenessBeforeFitness&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; is written by a Judo instructor that seems to agree four is the earliest age for martial arts.  Martial arts, like swimming gives kids some great life skills (including along with the physical activity, but won't (until later belts) really help with spatial awareness.  In regard to body awareness, Taekwondo (at our studio) desn't really seem to stress body awareness until the second belt.  I don't know about other styles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter was able to do a Gymnastics class with a friend while I was still teaching that was for 3-4 year olds that was great for her and increased her body awareness significantly.  While doing gymnastics, she was asked to focus on her body placement quite a bit.  I think learning to do a three point stand forced her to become very aware of how she was using every muscle involved in balancing.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://momsanddadsguide.com/articles/preschool_gymnastics.asp&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; discusses more physical, social and academic benefits specifically for preschoolers who enjoy the sport. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to assist with a beginning dance class for 3-5 year olds that also taught rhythm and body awareness quite nicely.  We did ballet, tap and contemporary alternating.  They have to think about keeping their knees over their toes and all kinds of things that create more awareness because of all the resistance work that gets done.  However, with dance you have to be careful because there are a lot of programs out there where kids just wiggle to the music (something that has value too) but won't necessarily increase body awareness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your thoughts that gymnastics or karate would both be good options are probably right on, but you might also ask your little one what looks most interesting.  Either way you go, there can be quite an expense involved in proper attire and paying for classes.  You'll want to know your little one is interested, not totally freaked out and game before you sign the dotted line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-06T19:48:08.493" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T19:48:08.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6727" CreationDate="2012-12-05T05:51:56.440" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another solution that might work is to simply put off opening presents 'til everyone (or at least the offending parties) have gone. Or compromise, and only open the presents that are from them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be a break with tradition, but that could be preferable to a break with the family. In some cultures it is not the 'done thing' to open presents immediately, because it makes it look like you're more interested in the presents than in the people who brought them. This 'knowledge' could be used to spin the thing appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, if you're feeling especially bold, you might want to think a bit more about why the current system is bad for these girls (rather than why it is bad for your kids), and talk to the parents in those terms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T05:51:56.440" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6841" CreationDate="2012-12-05T11:34:11.013" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is what I would try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering the root of the problem is that he enjoys being with his friends, discuss this with the other parents and arrange that from time to time (e.g. twice a week) one or two other children (who are his best friends there) will come with you as well to your home for hour or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be different friend every time; It doesn't have to be frequent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way on days when you don't bring a friend you can tell him &quot;today you will be with me and mommy, tomorrow [friend name here] will join us&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One hour &quot;extra&quot; sounds reasonable to me and though it might be taken as &quot;over spoiling&quot; I think the benefit is greater than the spoiling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T11:34:11.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6853" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-05T22:11:21.123" Score="5" ViewCount="154" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a recommended height or weight to be able to manage skis?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="516" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:51:27.057" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T22:51:27.057" Title="How old or what size does a child need to be to start learning to ski?" Tags="|sports|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6853" CreationDate="2012-12-05T23:36:45.013" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've seen a four year old go racing down the slopes faster than I'd ever dare.  The parents (close family friends) rented skis and boots to fit him and signed him up for a class at Whistler.  In some communities, kids are on skis just about as soon as they can walk (and there is enough snow on the ground) if you get high enough on the slopes and far enough north.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I am aware, it is a matter of getting the right size for the child.  Of course, if they can't walk well (aim etc.) they probably shouldn't be on skis and I'd suggest signing them up for a class so they can learn the snow plow, how to fall properly and other critical &quot;beginner's skills.&quot;  If you can't get them in a class, they're probably too young (unless you yourself are a ski instructor and have all the proper safety skills etc.)  Three - Four seems to be the typical age for class availability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-12-05T23:36:45.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6855" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-05T23:40:33.447" Score="10" ViewCount="720" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have our relatives kids at our house somewhat frequently, and we have a lot of toys here for the kids to play with. Sometimes they are here for over a night or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when the kids are about to leave, there comes this nasty job of putting the toys back in their original places, and it seems almost impossible task to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I encourage the kids to enjoy that work and feel good after the room has been cleaned? The kids are around 3-7 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read this: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5701/how-can-i-get-my-4-year-old-to-clean-up-toys-without-a-battle&quot;&gt;How can I get my 4 year old to clean up toys without a battle?&lt;/a&gt; but it's not quite the situation we have, since the kids are our guests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS. My mother tongue isn't english.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3514" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T10:54:34.117" Title="How to encourage our guest's kids to clean up the room from toys before leaving?" Tags="|toys|cleaning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6855" CreationDate="2012-12-06T01:17:32.333" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I would suggest that you instate a rule that means the kids clean up every 1 or 2 hours so things are less daunting at the end of when it is time to leave.  Another way to meet the same goal is to clean up each activity that gets done before moving on to the next activity.  There should never be a situation where more than one room is messy at a time or you are setting yourself up for failure in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, During a sleep over, I have the guest children pack up their things in the morning as a part of &quot;getting ready to start the day.&quot;  Pajamas, toothbrush, hairbrush etc.  All go in the overnight bags right after use and I help with rolling up or putting away sleeping bags before they even get to start playing.  This helps to make sure there are only a couple of things to check for when it is time to leave and allows the parents more ability to focus on directing their kids to help with clean -up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, about 30 minutes before it is time to leave announce, &quot;Okay everyone!  Clean up time.&quot;  I commonly say something like, &quot;Who can get 15 toys picked up first?!?&quot;  Then I make a really big deal about how fast they are being and who is in the lead.  I try to sound like the announcer for a race and really play it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the kids don't help and the parents are there but aren't helping to teach the guest children the idea that they should help with clean up time, there isn't a lot more you can do without having a chat with the parents of the children.  When the guest children's parents are in on it with you, they can take over with motivations they regularly use at home if &quot;making a game of it&quot; doesn't help.  When, how, and if, you decide to do that will depend somewhat on your relationship with the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope it works for you - have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-06T19:50:07.577" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T19:50:07.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6855" CreationDate="2012-12-06T02:08:06.787" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like any nasty, impossible task, it will become easier if you &lt;strong&gt;break it down into smaller parts&lt;/strong&gt;. Divide the area to be cleaned into separate smaller areas, and define separate tasks that take about 30 seconds to two minutes for a child to do: eg cleaning up the table, floor, desk, bed; or putting away the train set, making the bed, putting clothes into the hamper, putting away the Lego, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will help to give the kids specific instructions both because deciding what to clean up first can take energy, and because the kids can get satisfaction from each small task-- especially if you offer &lt;strong&gt;rewards&lt;/strong&gt;. Stickers and video game time are great rewards, but any set of rewards that is worth the set of task in the child's mind will work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can make it a game by having a list of areas or items that need to get cleaned up-- each with it's own sticker or other reward that is worth the task. The child chooses the room or area based on the reward they want, until all the rewards are gone (and the area is clean). You can even take pictures of each zone of the house-- when it is perfectly clean-- so that the kids know what the goal is. Once the table in the play room looks like the clean table in the picture, the kid gets the shiny sticker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T02:08:06.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6853" CreationDate="2012-12-06T10:15:57.127" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with &lt;em&gt;balanced mama&lt;/em&gt; -- if a ski school will accept them, then they're old enough. In the countries I know (Austria, France, Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Italy), ski classes start &lt;strong&gt;around 3 years of age.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not really an age (or height!) limit though -- it boils down to the child's motor skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T10:15:57.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6855" CreationDate="2012-12-06T10:20:40.530" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't let it get that messy to begin with.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you've given the kids free reign for 2½ days then it's no big wonder that cleaning up is almost impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a house rule that all toys are cleared away before bedtime. This is part of the regular bedtime ritual. When you have guests over and the clutter is much worse, I would even add another clean-up round before lunch, or a similar mid-day break. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, you would have broken your 2½-day mess down to five smaller tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T10:20:40.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6855" CreationDate="2012-12-06T11:44:38.507" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to give a totally different answer to the others here and suggest that it's the parents' problem, not yours, so they should make sure it's cleaned up before they leave. Why should you have to clean up after their kids? They shouldn't be leaving your house in a state with you having to do lots of cleanup, so next time ask them to leave the house in the state they found it in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other reason for making it the parent's problem is that it is hard to get kids to do things they wouldn't do ordinarily. If they don't clean up their toys at home then it will be hard to get them to do it at your house. If their parents clean up for them at home let them do it at your house too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T11:44:38.507" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2884" CreationDate="2012-12-06T15:32:20.873" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may be a little late for you, Torben, but I hope others may find it useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was raised in a family that was different in many ways from the others, and was especially exposed to huge peer pressure, from both same-age friends but also from adults who criticized  our way of life. But all my life, including childhood, I was happy with my parents' decisions, which I consider smart. (We did not have a TV, did not spend time with neighbors, did not went out in all the school trips, etc. Reasons were plenty, among them a really bad neighborhood)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some of the things that our parents specifically focused on:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Build a strong family identity&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We knew we were special, and there were many nice things we did, and the others didn't. Sporting, camping, adventures, crafting, books, bed-time stories, and many others. We always had something to talk about, to be proud about&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give strong reasons on why we do/do not do things&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When told to write a page-long story based on the latest TV show as homework (happened) we were proud to explain all the reasons why not spend your time in front of the TV. When a teacher without much regard for privacy, personal choice or child protection laws offered to help girls find a nice boyfriend (for explicit sexual matters), I stood up and told her that this is completely wrong and crazy. &lt;strong&gt;But...&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be sensible about other families' choices&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;strong&gt;must not&lt;/strong&gt; criticize what other families do, except when it's completely wrong (stealing, encouraging to violence, etc.) Make them understand that there are many ways to do things, &amp;quot;our family does this way, this is our choice, because we think it's right for us&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Offer another environment where children can befriend like-minded guys and girls.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It offers them the much-needed emotional comfort that they are not alone, not crazy, not handicapped. Then, they will have the opportunity to socialize and make friends in a safe place. For us it was a great church. For you it may be a social club, a relative or colleague with same-age kids, a crafts club, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep them busy&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No time to cry about all the missed cartoons. Give them tools, scissors and paper, books, bicycles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Help them see the effects of your decisions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help them realize, in measurable ways, that your decisions are good. Not all of them will be obvious, but usually a child that spends less than half-an-hour on TV will perform better in school than his all-TV mates. Without being critical or overly-proud, show them the fact and the result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure they see other adults share your opinion&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a respected teacher tells the entire class that some violent cartoons are bad, or praises those who were able to read more books in the holiday, it gives your child an leg up in the fight for respect among his peers. I still remember the day when the math teacher told the class that the reason I am so good in math is that I do not have the &amp;quot;stupidity box&amp;quot; in my house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Spend time with them&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing like a father spending two hours fixing the car with his 10-years-old. Use the time to teach them practical skills, like cutting wood or using complex tools, but also make it an opportunity for them to share with you their troubles. It is much easier to talk when you two work together. It creates a sense of belonging that offers them stability in turbulent times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&amp;quot;Less is more&amp;quot; is not true&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is much easier if your child is not alone. Two siblings is better, and three have so much more fun! It may sound funny or strange, it may be impractical, but generally speaking, a good investment in your child is another child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3516" LastEditorUserId="3516" LastEditDate="2021-08-29T01:24:10.210" LastActivityDate="2021-08-29T01:24:10.210" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2012-12-06T20:42:04.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Express your concern&lt;/strong&gt; about Charlotte's health to your parents. Work together to come up with some solutions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the biggest issue is &lt;strong&gt;getting rid of the fleas&lt;/strong&gt;. Do some research about how to eliminate fleas. You will need to both treat the animals and all of the bedding/mattress/etc. You may wish to purchase a bug/allergen-resistant mattress cover that completely covers the mattress and zips up, so that if there are flea eggs in the mattress they don't escape into the bed to bother her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, from the perspective of her allergies, having her sleep on a mattress that is in the cat's favorite is a recipe for dander and disaster. I would either &lt;strong&gt;bring a blow up air-mattress&lt;/strong&gt; with you for her to sleep on, or suggest your mom replace the bed frame with a &lt;strong&gt;trundle bed&lt;/strong&gt; frame, where your daughter will not be sleeping on the same mattress the cat naps on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't eliminate the flea problem don't stay at your mom's house. I'm not saying don't visit, I'm saying, &lt;strong&gt;sleep in a hotel&lt;/strong&gt; for the night when you aren't hanging out with mom anyway ;-). It may help her enjoy the daytime parts of her visits significantly more if she's feeling well and not dealing with allergies 24 hours a day when you visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2012-12-06T20:42:04.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6865" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-07T02:33:21.700" Score="2" ViewCount="143" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 2 in a few weeks. For about 90% of what goes on in his life, he's had a really good schedule that Mama has laid down and enforced quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His normal bedtime has always started at 7:30pm, to which we would clean him, lay him down, read a book, tuck him in, leave the room and lights out, and then he'd be asleep in around 10-15 minutes. Sometimes he'd cry a little bit, and be up until 8ish, but still asleep within an hour of bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the last week or so, he has not fallen asleep until 10pm. We can see physical exhaustion on him, but he will just not give in to sleep. Nothing has changed in his schedule that my wife can tell me, so it is not as if he is not taking his nap, or not getting play time to wear him out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas on what may be happening?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3521" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T15:55:41.977" Title="Son has stopped his normal bedtime" Tags="|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6866" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-07T08:22:36.387" Score="10" ViewCount="480" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 4. When she has a tantrum, she sometimes scratches or hits herself. One morning she scratched too hard and left a mark on her forehead. I can tell clearly that she was embarrassed by this. And I don't know how to react when my friends start asking me in front of her about what happened to her forehead.&#xA;I don't want to embarrass my child further by telling the truth, but not telling the truth will send a message to her that it's alright to lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3522" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-07T19:26:44.277" LastActivityDate="2018-05-07T19:26:44.277" Title="How to share an embarrassing story with another adult while your child is around?" Tags="|pre-schooler|communication|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6865" CreationDate="2012-12-07T11:12:15.870" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to the site JHStarner!  Let me start with a reassurance that it is pretty normal for kids to have huge changes to their sleep from time to time.  My daughter just went through one herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Turning Two is a Big Deal developmentally and changes in growth (even the kind you can't see) can disrupt a lot of things.  I'm guessing this change for your son has to do with a developmental leap he is making.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I am right, he is realizing he has some power to make decisions and change his circumstances a little and he is testing those abilities - not necessarily in defiance of you, just - in defiance of sleep in general.  He is also probably in the process of discovering that the world doesn't just stop moving forward because he fell asleep.  This realization leaves a lot of kids feeling &quot;left out.&quot;  Because they think they are missing out on something super cool while they sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it is also possible he is getting aches from a growth spurt about to happen, or just having trouble falling asleep.  You probably have a good sense of this based on your own observations, but, even though he is two and is probably not highly communicative yet, you could actually ask him.  You might try something like, &quot;(insert name here), I'm really worried you aren't getting enough sleep.  Do you know why you aren't falling asleep at night?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, I suggest doing your best to maintain your usual routine with him (I assume you have a calming routine you use, if not, start one tonight.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/468/2876&quot;&gt;This question's&lt;/a&gt; answers will have some ideas for you), but also to talk to him about sleep.  Take advantage of the next time he is upset about something to say, &quot;hmm. do you think getting more sleep might help you feel better right now?&quot;  He won't likely answer you with anything other than an emphatic &quot;no&quot; but you are planting a seed of thought, not disciplining.  Express your concern for him over his not sleeping.  Continue to reinforce &quot;lights out&quot; and bedtime without a lot of fuss or emotion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also may help to do your best to make sure he &lt;strong&gt;isn't&lt;/strong&gt; missing out on anything cool.  Give him some time to fall asleep before you start the &quot;adult movie&quot; hold off on evening guests for awhile while you get through this transition and be as silent as possible during his &quot;fall asleep time.&quot;  Older siblings (if he has them) can use this time for reading or study.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T15:55:41.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6866" CreationDate="2012-12-07T11:17:10.713" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you aren't sure how much she minds your telling, ask her.  &quot;Do you want me to say or would you rather pass?&quot;  Teach her how to say, &quot;oh it was an accident&quot; and that she has the right to not share any more than that if she doesn't want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of those moments you could treat her like you would a fellow adult that wasn't in the room.  If someone asked about a potentially embarrassing story about an adult and beloved friend or family member and knew you had all the gossip.  Would you automatically share all the info?  Just say, &quot;Well she had a little mis-hap and got hurt.  She'd rather not share more than that, so I want to respect her wishes.&quot;  It's honest and respectful toward your child.  It will also teach her that she can politely not answer prying questions later on in life if she wishes not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is helpful, there are also a few questions about tantrum avoidance on ParentingSE whose answers might help in avoiding similar mis-haps for your child in the future.&#xA;The first question is about alternatives to spanking.  I do not assume you are spanking your child or don't already have some ideas about how to deal with the tantrums themselves, but you might find some new and helpful ideas &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1244/2876&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/4575/2876&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; is actually about what a parent can do in their home pre-two's to prevent some tantrums if not most.  The answers generally give ideas for preventitive measures or attitudes toward tantrums once they start that help to remove or alleviate the behavior altogether.  The chosen answer by Meg Coates is particularly good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T16:25:40.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6830" CreationDate="2012-12-07T14:27:41.450" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Torben's answer is a fantastic answer.  I'm not sure how realistic it is to think that a child who is younger than a teenager is going to be able to get a &quot;real&quot; job what with child labor laws and whatnot.  I've had students as young as 15 with part-time after-school jobs, but they had to have their parent's written permission.  You might want to check with your country's/state's laws regarding employment of minors before you start pushing your child too hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I have seen with my students, many teenagers (15 years and up) really &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to go out and find a job so they can make their own money and not have to depend on their parents for everything.  It's almost a rite of passage here.  You can certainly encourage your child to find other small jobs that will earn him/her money before he/she is legally able to go find a job working for a company.  Besides earning money around the house, perhaps offering his/her services in the fall to rake the leaves of people in the neighborhood, shovel the walkways/driveways, babysit, etc.  Obviously ensure that he/she can accomplish these tasks well first before offering the services to other people.  You want to reinforce not only doing a job, but doing it well, and if he/she doesn't do a good job he/she won't be asked to repeat the task.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T14:27:41.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6870" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-07T15:56:57.793" Score="2" ViewCount="262" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to home-school my child (He is now 2 years old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However I live in a country where homeschooling is not allowed (at least not in the country's school system). Also, educational materials for homeschooling are quite limited in my language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some people who do it, but most of those I know are either foreign nationals or ethnic minorities who registered their children in their home country and use the mother tongue as a school language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The option for me would be to use an English/US umbrella school, but that would mean to teach in English. And that would require my son to speak a reasonable English by the age of 6/7 and me/my wife having an excellent command of the language as well. (We can speak fluently, but we definitely cannot match a native speaker).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(We did not try to teach our son English yet)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for a similar experience, or, much better, some studies on how well this is/can be accomplished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3516" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-12-07T16:03:23.087" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T19:11:53.357" Title="How to handle homeschooling in another language?" Tags="|language|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6871" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6888" CreationDate="2012-12-07T16:35:59.320" Score="3" ViewCount="970" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six year old daughter is just transitioning into attending classes and activities more independently.  As this is happening, she may get dropped off by her dad and picked up by me (and vice versa).  This means things are getting left behind.  I know it is pretty typical for a six year old to spread stuff out and forget it when staying elsewhere, hanging out at a friends or a club location.  In fact, I remember this being a common complaint from the parents of kids I taught in Middle School and even my Highschool Biology kids had trouble with it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it is a lot to expect for my daughter to have to remember a whole bunch of stuff, but there must be a way to at least increase the liklihood of non-forgetful and more responsible behavior with jackets/school books/ etc. when she heads to school activities, play dates and extra-curricular activities.  She is well educated on why forgetting things is a problem and a few techniques for avoiding forgetting things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She actually has a bag for each activity with the necessary activity items in it.  Each bag is organized a particular way and I certainly check that she has the essentials with her when picking her up.  She often spreads out though and doesn't always get everything back into her bags.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband is also not vigilant about asking her if she has her; coat, water bottle and bag so he is working on getting better about at least asking for those three items when he picks her up from somewhere.  At the same time, I would like her to be a bit more independent and not need us to remind about things at each pick-up - at least eventually (I know there is a learning process involved and I can't expect this over-night).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone out there had any particular success with a technique they tried?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-09T16:10:38.187" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T14:39:50.280" Title="How to help kids remember to keep track of their own stuff and keep it together when not at home" Tags="|pre-teen|middle-childhood|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6872" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7152" CreationDate="2012-12-07T17:09:55.310" Score="6" ViewCount="1255" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've come to the realization that technology has radically revolutionized learning in ways that haven't yet occurred to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, last night I was reading a pre-school book on animals of the Rainforest to my son.  With each picture of an animal, he'd ask me what sound it made.  This was easy for some of the animals, but when I got to a toucan, I was stumped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I picked up my phone, brought up Youtube, and did a quick search for Toucans singing.  I found a video of a toucan in a zoo making a mating call, and played it for my son.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was such a hit, that for each animal we looked at, my son requested a video so we could watch them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I felt like this was a wonderful tool for teaching, and wished that I had had such information readily at my fingertips as a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, however, I started to wonder if there is any downside to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember with some amusement when Wikipedia went &quot;dark&quot; in protest of the proposed &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stop_Online_Piracy_Act&quot;&gt;SOPA law&lt;/a&gt; that Twitter was inundated with angry posts from teens and school children who were &quot;unable to do their homework&quot; because Wikipedia was down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This wasn't completely humorous, though, as it did highlight for me that there are risks of becoming dependent upon the Internet for finding information.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm guilty of it myself; I frequently look up anything that I don't know well enough, and find most answers to my questions through a quick Google search.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I teach my son, how do I take advantage of the extra depth of information available, without teaching him that &lt;em&gt;knowing&lt;/em&gt; isn't as important as &lt;em&gt;being able to search the Internet effectively&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T20:56:21.160" Title="How do you ensure that the Internet is a helpful learning tool, rather than a crutch?" Tags="|education|teaching|internet|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6872" CreationDate="2012-12-07T17:43:15.137" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think we are actually already somewhat more dependent as we adapt with the times.  For example, my parents made sure we had an encyclopedia set growing up.  I will not likely go to the expense because between library access and all the info online it hardly seems worth it.  At the same time, kids need to be taught how to look at a variety of sources to confirm their research as well as to root out possible bias.  I know you know how to do that and as you work with your little one to find information you will model it for your child as well.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6880/2876&quot;&gt;This Answer&lt;/a&gt; has a great list of talking points to use as I guide, although its wholesale assessment of both Wikipedia and Google I don't completely agree with.  First of all, while I don't think either is going to go away, it is probably more sensible to discuss weeding out bias in more general terms.  Who is getting paid to say what?  How does the author know what he or she knows?  Is there anything else to corroborate the information? . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, many kids (at least in the US) aren't getting that education and therefore wind up relying on one or two favorite sites or resources so heavily they don't know how to get information in other ways.  This is happening largely because library science and school librarians have been cut with budget difficulties (this is where research skills used to be taught - at least in US schools and when things get cut, the responsibilities are often not explicitly moved to another's shoulders clearly).  Where there used to be a school librarian at each school there might now be a few in a district that rotate between schools in the district.  Some teachers address these research skills, but there isn't currently a good way to make sure all children are getting the exposure that is needed.  Another example of a subject over which parents are forced to be far more involved with their child's education than parents often realize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than fighting the inevitable, I plan on going with it.  My plan is just to be aware of what my child is researching and how she is going about doing that research to the best of my ability.  As she grows, she will get age-appropriate feedback about her research style in order to increase awareness of holes in her research.  There are even (ironically) online lesson plans to help teachers and parents in covering these skills with their students and children.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/lesson-plans/wading-through-teaching-internet-983.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here is just one example&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is just beginning to realize she can look stuff up online herself and so I have now instilled a rule that if she is online, it is with the knowledge of an adult &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; an adult has to be in the room and able to see what she is doing.  The adult (her dad, myself, or a few other key family members she spends time with) monitors the search process quite closely at this point to help avoid accidentally landing on an &quot;inappropriate&quot; site, to guide her in terms of safety concerns and to ask leading questions to help in modeling determining the value of the information posed on whatever site she finds.  One of our computers is in the kitchen so she can be online while I cook and such and the other is in the bedroom we use as a &quot;classroom&quot; for school.  The laptop is always used with permission only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also a huge fan of our public library system in the US.  I suggest developing a personal relationship with your local librarian.  This will not combat reliance on the internet, but enhance and broaden research skills because it will broaden exposure to different types of information sources.  Learning through variety means kids encounter the same information different ways - making it more likely they will remember the information &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; helping to corroborate valid information.  Our librarian knows both myself and Alice by name because we are there so often.  She frequently aids Alice in finding good books for her about subjects she either wants to learn more about or needs to learn more about for school.  As Alice gets older, the library will also become a great space for help with online research (as a way to go somewhere away from the house some of the time) and she will be able to access aid from the librarian there as well as aid from myself (in addition to any teachers appropriate to the subject).  Your little guy is probably getting to the right age to participate in library &quot;story time&quot; although depending on work schedules it may be difficult for you to attend.  Either way, I suggest making a weekly or at least bi-monthly trip to your library as a way to make sure you are accessing a variety of sources for information.  They have video, audio, digital books that can be downloaded for loan AND traditional books and magazines not to mention the unbeatable human resource your librarian is likely to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T20:56:21.160" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2892" CreationDate="2012-12-07T23:30:33.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I developed a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6578/2876&quot;&gt;musical routine&lt;/a&gt; for my own little one.  It helps keep her focused and on track, but also sets up a time limit for each task in the morning.  Each task she doesn't finish in the set amount of time results in her Dad or I having to do the taks for her.  Since she wants to be more independent, this routine works pretty well.  The link will take you to an answer on Parenting SE where I describe the musical routine in more detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I admit teeth brushing was not really a problem for us to get her to do to begin with, but getting dressed was - she took &lt;strong&gt;ForEver&lt;/strong&gt;.  Since if we had to dress her, we also got to pick out the most bland boring outfit we could put together for her - it has worked wonders.  I'd imagine that if teeth brushing is made to be a fun thing you both do at the same time together, singing songs and making a game of it, but if he doesn't do it and you have to brush for him if he doesn't do it at the right time and you make it as boring and horrible as you can (without being mean or making it painful) a similar plan would work well for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-12-07T23:30:33.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6832" CreationDate="2012-12-08T00:49:24.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recall reading a study from the mid nineties that found growing up with one furry pet decreased allergies, growing up with two furry pets was better, but that the third furry pet did not give any benefits with regard to allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3525" LastActivityDate="2012-12-08T00:49:24.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6877" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-08T10:28:48.163" Score="1" ViewCount="317" Body="&lt;p&gt;K and G are the consonants in most western languages that are hardest to learn how to say. What ways can I help my kid(s) to learn how to pronounce these sounds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2012-12-09T03:23:23.107" Title="Teaching K and G sounds" Tags="|speech|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6877" CreationDate="2012-12-08T11:29:07.997" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way we taught our three was the same as with other sounds - sitting with them and showing them how the mouth and tongue move when making these sounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best bet is repetition of sounds like ke ke ke ke ki ki ki and words like kicking, get, give etc as they got older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They actually got K and G really quickly. We actually had much more difficulty getting them to distinguish between Th and F, even though the tongue position is obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-12-08T11:29:07.997" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6877" CreationDate="2012-12-08T13:21:47.530" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends on the age. It's most easily done when they are young (1-4 years old) and their phonem maps are still forming. In this case they just need to hear it (frequently and correctly) and need to regularly interact with native speakers. When we moved to an English speaking country, my kids often listen to a tape of &quot;Thomas the tank engine&quot;. They happily listened to it without initially understanding a single word. In conjunction with play-mates and pre-school they quickly spoke fluently and accent free including the sounds that are tricky for Germans (e.g. &quot;th&quot; or &quot;v&quot; vs. &quot;w&quot; sounds).&#xA;More formal training is probably only useful for older kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2012-12-08T13:21:47.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6872" CreationDate="2012-12-08T13:52:57.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all +1 to the local library (while it still exists). Our town library is the cats meow: Huge CD collection, DVDs for $1/week, well organized kids section with regular events, graphic novels and edgy marvel comics to keep the teens interested, free internet access for those in need, and of course books, books, and more books. We used make a family event out of this and literally drag a laundry basket full of stuff out of there every week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids MUST learn how to use the internet and online tools effectively simply because the workplace demands it today. I do a lot of science and math stuff at work and I can't remember the last time I opened a reference book. It's much quicker and more efficient to find this online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schools and even colleges have a mixed track record at teaching this. Many of the older teachers have no clue how to do it themselves. Some college professors try to monopolize and restrict class knowledge to their own book so they can squeeze another $150,- per year out of each student. However other professors are great and have well organized class notes for everyone to access online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally kids start early with building their own &quot;portals&quot;. That's simply a list of &quot;good and useful&quot; web sites that have a high likelihood of having good information. Over time it  grows and can be big asset when they it college. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here some talking points to go through with your kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Just because it's on the internet doesn't mean it's true. You need to understand why people post this information&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wikipedia is good: people post mainly because they want to share knowledge (and feel good about it) and there is a lot of peer review going on to check it. No one gets paid.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Google is so-so. The &quot;why&quot; is complicated. Google gets paid by companies that want their links high on the list. That's typically not objective information. However google needs to display useful and accurate information to stay attractive to the user. So there is both good &amp;amp; bad info you can get from Google. You need to stay alert and check it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most web sites that have an &quot;.edu&quot; URL are reputable and good. Reputable colleges can't afford to publish information that's blatantly wrong. Some college sites are a great repositories for knowledge (example &lt;a href=&quot;http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/hframe.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/hframe.html&lt;/a&gt;). Find them and put them in your portal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2012-12-08T13:52:57.320" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6877" CreationDate="2012-12-09T03:23:23.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very important to make sure they have  normal hearing. If there is any doubt, get a hearing test to test all the frequencies of speech. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then make sure they have lots of examples to listen to. You can make them tapes of words that have the sounds at the beginning, middle, and end, as well as words that have the sounds before and after different vowel sounds. Check out   &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.soundsofenglish.org/pronunciation/gk.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.soundsofenglish.org/pronunciation/gk.html&lt;/a&gt; to learn more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Songs are another way to help them learn. Choose some songs they already know and point out the sounds. If you don't know any, try: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.songsforteaching.com/earlychildhoodelementarypreschoolkindergarten/funnyrhymes.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.songsforteaching.com/earlychildhoodelementarypreschoolkindergarten/funnyrhymes.php&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-09T03:23:23.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6871" CreationDate="2012-12-09T03:48:25.170" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have &lt;strong&gt;patterns&lt;/strong&gt;, once the pattern becomes a routine, it will become automatic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A six year old may not be able to remember more than one or two things at first. So &lt;strong&gt;decide what is essential&lt;/strong&gt;. For instance, start with just the backpack. Give it a place at home, in the cars, and at school. Then, once she is remembering the backpack every day for 10 days, build from there. Books go in the backpack. Jacket goes on the backpack, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to make a pattern? Each item should have a &lt;strong&gt;consistent location&lt;/strong&gt; at each context. Examples of contexts are home, school, car or other transport, like inside a backpack. Make a list (for yourself) of the items she is to remember, and the consistent location where the item goes in each context she is. For example, the jacket is on the hook in the closet at home, she's wearing it in the car on, (if she isn't then her getting dressed routine needs to be reviewed.) Then at school, it goes on the hook. When she leaves school, she &quot;gets dressed&quot; again, putting on the jacket. And goes home where it goes on the hook in the closet. For books, they go from the desk at home, to the backpack for transport, then to the desk at school, back in the backpack when she leaves school, and then at home back to her desk. Each item has a story with a beginning, middle, and end. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can tell her the stories, and when you're at the transition points, ask her to recount the story. It will work as long as there is exactly one place where each of her things go in each of her environments. She can help decide where these places are and label them. It makes it easier, because then the places serve as reminders for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you know all the items and their context dependent locations, you can help her build automatic behaviors. Think about your organizational habits, and how you remember things. You can use tricks, like putting things you're going to take with you near the door.  &lt;em&gt;Modeling organization&lt;/em&gt; helps a lot, so make sure you're organized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some great tips for raising an organized child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.onlineorganizing.com/NewslettersArticle.asp?article=452&amp;amp;newsletter=go&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.onlineorganizing.com/NewslettersArticle.asp?article=452&amp;amp;newsletter=go&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/812899/5-ways-to-raise-organized-kids&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/812899/5-ways-to-raise-organized-kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-09T03:48:25.170" CommentCount="2" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-12-09T03:48:25.170" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6883" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2012-12-09T04:40:05.803" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2012-12-09T04:40:05.803" LastActivityDate="2012-12-09T04:40:05.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6884" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2012-12-09T04:40:05.803" Score="0" Body="Questions concerning Neonatal Intensive Care Units (NICUs), the part of the hospital where newborns with medical needs are cared for, including premature babies and babies with other medical or surgical needs." OwnerUserId="3495" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-28T10:28:17.530" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T10:28:17.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6885" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6887" CreationDate="2012-12-10T04:50:42.690" Score="11" ViewCount="879" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter's wish list currently includes two items:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Little Sister and a French Poodle - neither gift is really an option at the moment.  She won't add anything else to the list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can think of other things she might like, but nothing quite as exciting as either current wish.  I'm not really looking for gift ideas as much as - how do I help her deal with the disappointment when she finds neither item underneath the tree Christmas morning?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-09T14:23:14.393" LastActivityDate="2018-11-09T14:23:14.393" Title="What do you do when your child's Christmas Wishlist is full of things you cannot get her?" Tags="|presents|holidays|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6885" CreationDate="2012-12-10T11:10:02.163" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;A little sister huh? What are you waiting for? ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer to me depends on whether she's old enough to know that her expectations aren't realistic or not. If she is then I'd simply say that those aren't things that Santa is likely to be able to do and she might want to think about other things she might like to put on the list. I'd expect her to think of other things then. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's at the age where she thinks a little sister really is something Santa might bring I'd have a talk about how Santa can't bring everything, and list what he can bring (toys, books, games, etc). Maybe tell her that Santa and his elves make things in big factories, so he can only bring what he and his elves can build, and that babies and dogs aren't built. Lead that into talking about where human and dog babies come from and that it's up to the parents to decide when to have baby brother or sister. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mention that Santa could bring her a doll instead, but don't ask if she would like one. Just mention the possibilities of what Santa can bring, then let that sink in and in a day or two before asking if she wants to add a doll or anything else to the list. If you ask right away you're more likely to get a knee-jerk &quot;NO!&quot; answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-12-10T11:10:02.163" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6871" CreationDate="2012-12-10T15:07:34.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to add the back-and-forth that we had in the comments above as an answer since it seems to address &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; particular question.  I think 5un5's answer is great, but I've been involved in enough theater productions and sleep-overs to know that stuff just winds up everywhere.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For situations like these, perhaps a laminated list that you can clip to her backpack would be helpful.  I know from some of your other questions that your daughter is pretty advanced in her reading level, so a simple list like, &quot;books&quot;, &quot;jacket/coat&quot;, etc. wouldn't pose any problem for her.  For younger kids, a list with pictures might be easier for them.  You could even put her name on one side and the list on the other side so that it looks like it's just a name tag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't even HAVE to have a laminator.  Clear contact paper works just as well.  Hole punch at the top, a key ring through the hole, and clip to a carabiner on her backpack.  With this kind of system, you could even have multiple lists that could be quickly switched for different situations.  You know, one for sleep over, one for rehearsal, one for play-date.  If you wanted to be extra savvy, you could leave some blank lines at the bottom of the list and have a spot to write in extra items with a dry-erase pen she might not use frequently but might need to go with her from time-to-time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a similar &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thirtyhandmadedays.com/2012/01/chore-2/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;idea&lt;/a&gt; on this website.  It's for a chore chart that you laminate and attatch to a lanyard, but you get the idea.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I'm a list-maker so I tend toward stuff like that.  It might not work for her, but it's a thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2012-12-11T14:39:50.280" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T14:39:50.280" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6889" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6890" CreationDate="2012-12-10T21:28:22.267" Score="7" ViewCount="23163" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are second-hand shoes safe to wear? For adults — and especially for children. Kids' feet are always growing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the proper precautions are taken, are second-hand shoes safe? Or are they too likely to transmit fungal infections (e.g. athlete's foot) and/or harm the feet of the wearer?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Edit&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please assume that you bought the shoes from a thrift store in a developed country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2303" LastEditorUserId="2303" LastEditDate="2020-01-22T01:31:39.623" LastActivityDate="2020-01-22T01:57:51.213" Title="Are second-hand shoes safe to wear?" Tags="|health|money|clothes|shopping|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6889" CreationDate="2012-12-10T21:28:22.267" Score="5" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Regarding fungi&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I looked at an &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sahealth.sa.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/Public+Content/SA+Health+Internet/Protecting+public+health/Buying+and+selling+of+second-hand+goods/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt; by the South Australian health department. It discusses second-hand goods and how to disinfect them. The article mentions that second-hand stores may clean the outside of donated shoes, but not disinfect them on the inside. The article adds:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parasites (including fungi) ... may survive for extended periods of time. While transmission of these organisms is ... unlikely, some second-hand goods may result in a risk to health if they are not thoroughly cleaned before use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long can fungi survive? It depends. Regarding ringworm fungi, a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-is-ringworm-contagious&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Healthline article&lt;/a&gt; states:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Fungal spores can ... stay alive on clothing ... as long as their food supply (dead skin cells) is present, and they have a moist and warm environment. Spores can live for as long as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cfsph.iastate.edu/Factsheets/pdfs/dermatophytosis.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;12 to 20 months&lt;/a&gt; in the right environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16923133&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Tanaka K, Katoh T, Irimajiri J, Taniguchi H, and Yokozeki H&lt;/a&gt; studied two matters. They investigated whether or not socks and stockings prevent the transmission of fungal infections. They found that cotton socks do, but nylon stockings don't. They also investigated how to remove fungi from shoes. They found that if you wipe the shoes with a wet towel, or if you pour in boiling water, you'll successfully remove fungi.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Regarding general safety to feet&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Note that I've found zero peer-reviewed information that discusses whether second-hand shoes are bad for feet. I've never found a literature review or meta-analysis of this topic. In fact, I've never found even a single peer-reviewed paper. On &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;PubMed&lt;/a&gt;, [ used ] seems to be a stopword and ignored in searches. My searches there for [ second-hand shoes ] and [ used shoes ] turned up nothing. I didn't find anything relevant on &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Google Scholar&lt;/a&gt;. Blogger &quot;Miser Mom&quot; &lt;a href=&quot;http://miser-mom.blogspot.com/2011/08/used-shoes.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;couldn't find anything either&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Freelance writer Roz Zurko &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/8660475&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;discusses the matter&lt;/a&gt;. She cites &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.footdrhorsley.com/lifestyle/shoesong.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dr. Neil L. Horsley&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.austinregionalclinic.com/patient_education/mckesson/pediatric_advisor/pa_shoes_hhg.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dr. B.D. Schmitt&lt;/a&gt;, and the South Australia &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&amp;amp;np=301&amp;amp;id=1890#4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Women's and Children's Health Network&lt;/a&gt;. In the end, she accepts the Health Network article's opinion. Their article begins, &quot;In a perfect world, it is better to have new shoes. If you need to use second-hand shoes, choose carefully.&quot; They continue with advice on how to choose the healthiest second-hand shoes. For example, they write that if the shoes are misshapen or if the heel is worn unevenly, the shoes should be avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2303" LastEditorUserId="2303" LastEditDate="2020-01-22T01:57:51.213" LastActivityDate="2020-01-22T01:57:51.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6889" CreationDate="2012-12-10T22:07:18.243" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;All my daughters' shoes are hand-me-downs except for her athletic shoes. I figure she isn't spending enough time in her other shoes to cause any serious damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me elaborate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had an aunt that bought my sister and I special shoes designed to help children walk correctly and healthfully and gave those shoes to my parents.  She continued to &quot;keep us in these shoes&quot; by purchasing the next size every six months or so until she passed away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time I was a year old, my parents had learned not to use the shoes, despite her purchase of them.  We constantly had ingrown toenails.  The ingrown toenail thing actually runs in the family and was not caused by the shoes, but because of the problem, Mom had consulted a physician on the matter. The doctor said, &quot;The best thing for babies are bare feet.&quot;  I still have really healthy arches and have feet &quot;ballerinas would kill for&quot; because I have such a nice arch.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.unshod.org/pfbc/pfmedresearch.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article at unshod.org&lt;/a&gt;, and the doctors quoted in it, gives more information about why this statement is true.  Thinking about things this way, I would guess that if the shoes are to be worn a lot, more damage is likely done by shoes that don't fit quite right or are worn out unevenly than newer shoes.  But knowing my daughter spends so little time in the shoes, I'm not afraid to take hand-me-downs from family members and let my daughter wear them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want my daughter to have healthy, new, correctly-fitting, supportive cross-trainers if she's going to be doing something like hiking, playing tennis or basketball or some other sporty activity.  We tend to buy one pair of her own cross-trainers as needed as she grows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For everyday activities around the house, she goes barefoot.  If we go to run errands, she is often in flip-flops, sandals or whatever she happens to grab (or, in winter, knock-off Uggs!).  Since she never spends a lot of time in these shoes, as long as I know they're clean, I don't worry about it too much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems natural fibers and materials are less likely to carry these kinds of diseases (or at least hang onto them) based on a tiny bit said at the very end of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.health24.com/medical/Condition_centres/777-792-2215-2222,21036.asp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;a health 24 article&lt;/a&gt;.  And based on one of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16923133&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;links&lt;/a&gt; provided in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6890/2876&quot;&gt;unforgettableid's answer&lt;/a&gt;, socks also create a pretty good barrier in preventing spread of such diseases.  I have always just washed hand-me-down shoes using the hot water cycle in my dishwasher.  (Weird?  Yes.  But it works.)  My daughter has never had any such infection.  Nor have I, come to think of it, despite serious blisters and all kinds of nastiness from dancing en pointe through college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having feet that are moist a lot and for long periods increases the likelihood of infection. Perhaps the fact that my family wears socks when wearing closed shoes, and goes barefoot in the house, means that our feet just don't get sweaty and damp enough to encourage the growth of such diseases. This is another reason I'd personally recommend the barefoot life as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-12-10T23:00:45.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4627" CreationDate="2012-12-10T22:57:45.717" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you do not want to encourage especially long evenings and she's dealing with anxiety, then &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidsmeditationcds.net/kidsmeditationcds.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;One with the Universe from ShambalaKids cd&lt;/a&gt; or Mp3 is excellent.  The audios help kid's with self esteem and stress relief. Kid's meditation and relaxation IS getting more popular and a great way to help our kids relax and sleep well. We use them every night.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3531" LastActivityDate="2012-12-10T22:57:45.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6893" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-10T23:23:15.003" Score="10" ViewCount="298" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes. disposables are made of plastic that often winds up filling landfills (or worse-yet) floating in bits in the ocean, but what about all the harsh cleaning fluids used in cleaning the diapers by diaper laundering companies?  The dioxins alone can't be great for our water resources!  In terms of waste during production vs. waste during production and maintenance is there really a significant difference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone seen any non-biased (or at least less-biased) research showing one or the other to actually be a better choice environmentally?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-14T11:48:01.820" LastActivityDate="2013-07-04T06:56:03.320" Title="Are cloth diapers really more environmentally minded than disposables?" Tags="|diaper|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6894" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6905" CreationDate="2012-12-11T00:00:49.747" Score="5" ViewCount="37582" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had a pretty good sleep routine with my three month old recently. She wakes to eat and, occasionally needs gentle rocking back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This week she started something new. After having slept for a few &quot;feeding cycles&quot; she will wake up, and happily babble and giggle in her crib, alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last night she did this for just over an hour before we went in and rocked her to sleep. Once I picked her up, she was fast asleep in a few short minutes (and soundly for another 3 hours).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She wasn't fussing or crying, but she was wide awake and playing when she would &quot;normally&quot; be asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we &quot;help&quot; her get back to sleep? Or should we let her stay awake by herself until she cries out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2765" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T15:04:06.167" Title="Should an infant, awake and happy in the middle of the night, be helped back to sleep?" Tags="|infant|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1259" CreationDate="2012-12-11T03:10:52.150" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing I ever did to get my (once colicky) 4 month old to sleep well at night was to establish a very rigid nighttime routine. She now goes down at 7pm, wakes up once at 3am, and then sleeps until 7am. Glorious! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's my routine to give you an idea.&#xA;- If my husband is home from work he strips her down to her diaper (she loves being naked) and entertains her while I prepare her bath. If he's not home, I strip her down and leave her on the bed (she doesn't roll around yet) to hang out while I get the bath prepared (I can see her from the bathroom!). &#xA;- I alone give her her bath. It's a very calm time. I barely talk to her. I wash her (I always wet her hair, but I only wash it every other day) I pour water out of an old yogurt container for a while and then let her try and hold it and stick it in her mouth. I use the same yogurt container every night. &#xA;- Depending on how tired she is, the bath lasts anywhere from 2 minutes to 10 minutes. &#xA;- I dry her off on the bed, plug a soother in her mouth, and get her dressed.&#xA;- I put on her white noise (Simply Noise (pink) sound app if you're interested) just to get the right mood in place. &#xA;- I breastfeed her. Normally she passes out on the boob, but not always. &#xA;- Asleep or not, I then swaddle her (with her arms out, she busts out otherwise) and plug her soother in. &#xA;- Then I stick her in her crib (awake or asleep) and walk away. &#xA;- I dillydally around near her crib...put away the towel...pick up some laundry...whatever keeps me close but not engaging her. &#xA;- Then I leave. &#xA;If she makes a fuss, I go in a couple of times and plug her soother in. Sometimes sing her fav song. I NEVER pick her up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used so much detail in my response because I've found that keeping things EXACTLY the same down to the most minor detail is what makes our bedtime routine effective. You can use your own variations of course because your baby is older. But it took my mom showing me how to give my baby a routine for me to fully grasp how to do it so I'm just passing it along :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for naps, I'm working on that. She got so used to sleeping in my arms it's a struggle getting her to sleep in her crib for any good length of time and I'm still trying to figure out a good nap routine. We shall see! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T03:10:52.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3194" CreationDate="2012-12-11T03:18:04.993" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I've read and heard, 4 months is exactly when babies start sleeping through the night. There is a big difference between a newborn and a 4 month old. Yeah, a 2 week old shouldn't sleep for 12 hrs at a time, but at 4 months that's amazing! My 4 month old sleeps 12 hrs at night with one wake up at 3am and I can't wait for her to drop that feed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yeah, totally OK and totally amazing! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T03:18:04.993" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6898" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6910" CreationDate="2012-12-11T04:46:57.893" Score="10" ViewCount="2134" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 month old daughter started to shake her head and hitting herself throughout the day:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sometimes when she's eating and sitting in the high chair, she'll shake her head from side to side for a few seconds...and often repeats during the meal; sometimes she'll hit her self in the face repeatedly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sometimes when I'm trying to put her down for the evening (I'm holding her upright and she's facing me), she'll move hear head back and forth and bang her mouth on my chest. I tried to cradle her once and she kept throwing head head back and then forward.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be worried about this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="1922" LastEditDate="2012-12-11T06:34:03.287" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T01:46:45.570" Title="14 month old...head shaking and hitting self...should I be worried?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6899" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6902" CreationDate="2012-12-11T10:26:25.620" Score="3" ViewCount="5776" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has been telling me for years that Vitamin C is a stimulant. I finally decided to google it but haven't found anything convincing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last night, our 2-year-old daughter woke up from coughing around 12:30. She was having trouble getting back to sleep, but was still acting drowsy. We gave her a very small quantity of orange juice (not even a full adult-sized mouthful), and within about 15-20 minutes she was wide awake. It took another two hours to get her completely back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anybody have any information confirming (or not) whether vitamin C has stimulant effects?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastActivityDate="2015-09-26T00:16:50.043" Title="Is orange juice (or vitamin C) a stimulant?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6899" CreationDate="2012-12-11T12:33:07.887" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Vitamin C isn't why your daughter was wide awake.  If anything, it was the carbohydrates in the orange juice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/232928-does-vitamin-c-give-you-energy/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Vitamin C isn't a stimulant&lt;/a&gt;.  It's a nutrient.  Think of it as a building block used by many of the functions of the human body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Carbohydrates aren't really a stimulant, either.  Rather, they can be thought of as &quot;fuel&quot;.  Carbohydrates are converted by the body to raise the blood glucose levels, and glucose is the primary source of energy for the human body's cells.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raising blood glucose levels can provide short term increases in activity levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't feed your daughter juice or other sugary treats right before, or during, bed time or nap time, and she'll sleep better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-12-11T20:55:01.930" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T20:55:01.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6893" CreationDate="2012-12-11T14:30:12.027" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;There exists a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ahpma.co.uk/docs/LCA.pdf&quot;&gt;UK study&lt;/a&gt;  dating from 2005, which was updated in 2008. A good summary can be found at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kimberly-clark.com.au/en/sustainability/products/waste-management/nappies/&quot;&gt;Kimberly-Clark Australia and New Zealand homepage&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarise the summary: It depends...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are always washing the fabric diapers at 95 °C and put them in the dryer, the overall energy use will be higher than if you use disposable diapers. If you wash them at 60 °C and hang them on the washing line for drying, you will need less energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, there any many criticisms of this study:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It assumes that you buy 40 cloth diapers for your child (in my experience 20 is enough, but the production accounts for far less energy consumption than the washing, so I'm not sure if this is relevant)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you have a second child, you can reuse the cloth diapers from the first child (the &lt;em&gt;caveat&lt;/em&gt; from above applies)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is a widely held belief (no idea if it's true or not) that using cloth diapers will speed up toilet training, which would in turn reduce the energy consumption through washing quite some&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1070" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T14:30:12.027" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6899" CreationDate="2012-12-11T16:52:32.607" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While vitamin C is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; a neurological stimulant (like caffeine is), some people want to believe it is because it makes you feel so much better when you get enough of it.  I actually saw a post on a discussion forum once where a women claimed vitamin C was a stimulant because she felt more awake when she stopped drinking coffee and replaced it with orange juice.  However, caffeine results in a &quot;crash.&quot;  Anyone that stops their intake of caffeine long enough to get past withdrawl effects, starts to feel better, so she is (along with many others) mistaken about the actual cause of her energy uptick.  Believe it or not, Caffeine (and other stimulents) make you feel &lt;strong&gt;more tired&lt;/strong&gt; when you are not on a caffeine high.  Oragne juice will not leave anyone with this after-effect because it is involved in the formation of &quot;real&quot; energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is what Citric Acid (which is also contained in Orange Juice) &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; does with regard to energy levels:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to an article posted by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/152574-effects-of-citric-acid-on-people/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Livestrong&lt;/a&gt; one study found Citric Acid  reduced the production of a specific salivary component that is considered a stress marker - in other words it guards against the effects of stress (or at least the one).  Anything that reduces stress helps you feel more energized.  As an anti-oxident, It has being found to have impacts on many of these &quot;stress&quot; markers based on what I remember from biochem in college.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a major component in producing chemicals needed in metabolic activities (The Citric Acid Cycle, for example) that help increase energy production at the cellular level (stimulants do not increase energy production, they are a &quot;fake&quot; in that they make the nervous system more active they are not actually involved in creating honest energy in your body.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/s/stimulant.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Science Daily&lt;/a&gt; gives a brief definition and some examples of actual stimulants).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is why people sometimes might believe Vitamin C increases energy levels:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since Vitamin C helps in regeneration of &lt;strong&gt;other&lt;/strong&gt; important anti-oxidents in the body, it is probably even more important in this role than other well-known anti-oxidents such as Vitamin E.  This also can give a person a sense of having more energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, vitamin C helps guard against immune system deficiencies and acts as an anti-oxident.  Again, this helps reduce energy drains when you don't have enough vitamin C - if she had a cough she may have more need for immune system production than usual and  a little extra vitamin C in the morning might not be a bad idea.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, while neither Vitamin C, nor Citric acid &lt;strong&gt;are&lt;/strong&gt; stimulants, it does impact energy levels.  When combining Vitamin C with the sugars and other carbohydrates present in a cup of juice (as explained by Beofett), it is likely to cause a certain amount of wakefulness in the drinker.  Next time she wakes up in the middle of the night, I'd stick with a glass of water (it is better for her teeth that way too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.quali-c.com/en/vitamin-c-functions/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.quali-c.com/en/vitamin-c-functions/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those wondering about my statements on Caffeine: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffeine#Physical_effects&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffeine#Physical_effects&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/caffeines-effects-health&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-11T21:50:57.197" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T21:50:57.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6903" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-11T17:10:47.357" Score="8" ViewCount="13460" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is pregnant with our first child, and we want to find a unique and fun way to tell our parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3536" LastEditorUserId="25396" LastEditDate="2017-06-12T13:26:16.143" LastActivityDate="2017-06-12T13:26:16.143" Title="How do I tell my parents that my wife and I are expecting a child?" Tags="|pregnancy|parents|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2017-06-12T22:31:42.023" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6903" CreationDate="2012-12-11T17:16:49.343" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this answer, I am assuming this pregnancy will be seen as good news by your parents.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister announced her pregnancy at Christmas Time by simply adding a stocking to the mantel that said &quot;baby (last name)&quot; and then the due date.  When we all got up in the morning, there it was hanging there with a few of the baby items they'd already purchased in preparation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Husband and I wrapped up &quot;away&quot; packages with things like a bib, a few diapers and the like as a &quot;gift&quot; to each set of parents for use when we and the baby visited.  The packages contained a note that said, &quot;for when I visit my grandparents.  Love, baby (last name)&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both ways seemed like they were really fun for my parents (although in both cases they had their guesses anyway - we're pretty close).  The gift with the baby stuff in it confused my in-laws.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congratulations!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-11T17:51:20.280" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T17:51:20.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6894" CreationDate="2012-12-11T17:53:44.253" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this circumstance I am a fan of the idea of a &quot;sleep reminder,&quot; which I first read on an internet bulletin board.  A sleep reminder is something that will stop your baby from playing and indicate that it is nighttime.  A sleep reminder has two related goals:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get your child to stop playing and sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continue to promote independent sleep, if that is a goal for your family (which it is not for all families).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do not want to intervene unnecessarily to help a baby to sleep, but you also do not want to encourage long night wakings.  A sleep reminder is an intervention about 20 minutes into a happy night waking that does something to indicate that it is sleep time.  It might be placing your child in her usual sleeping position if she has moved, going in and shushing her, getting her drowsy and replacing her in her sleeping location if she goes to sleep from drowsy-but-awake, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As babies get older a sleep reminder may involve frustrating the baby slightly to keep them from playing so that they go back to sleep.  I realize that it sounds odd to intentionally frustrate your child, but it is the same principal as quietly walking an older toddler back to his or her big kid bed when he or she wants to get up in the middle of the night.  The toddler being walked back to bed and the baby being reminded to sleep might not appreciate it, but it is for the child's good.  So for example when my older infant is having a long wake-up I will go and place a pacifier near her but not pick her up.  She gets frustrated that I am not there to play with her, cries out in protest for maybe ten seconds, then places the pacifier in her mouth and goes back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to note is that a long and happy wake-up at night, in the absense of signs of overtiredness, may be an indication that your daughter is ready for more hours awake during the day and is currently experiencing what Richard Ferber calls the &quot;too long in bed&quot; problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your family is not focused on promoting independent sleep in your child I would encourage some form of helping back to sleep after 20 minutes or so of a wake-up, but not necessarily before.  Consolidated night sleep is valuable for infants.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T17:53:44.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2012-12-11T18:50:10.070" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you certain that what you see on your daughter's body is flea bites and not hives? If the cat sleeps on the bed where she sleeps during a visit, the she could be reacting to the hair/dander in that bed/bedroom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try having her sleep on an air mattress on the floor in your bedroom, to see if that helps. If she still has the rash/bites, then I would guess that it's the prolonged exposure to the cat and its hair/dander. I would gently explain to parents that, while you would love to stay with them, your daughter's allergies to the cat won't allow her to sleep there. And then stay with another relative or in a hotel. Your parents might be a bit upset at first, but will quickly get used to the idea. Your daughter's health is more important - if you aren't going to stick up for her in this situation, no one else will!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3537" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T18:50:10.070" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6907" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-11T21:44:27.983" Score="0" ViewCount="82" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6060/kids-website-is-it-a-good-idea&quot;&gt;Kids Website, is it a good idea?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm about to be a mother soon (yay) and I would like to share with people my new mom's experience. I'm not a big fan of social networks so I think blog is a good way to do this, not only with my family but with anyone that could help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I need to go for a CMS and I really don't know what to choose between Wordpress, Joomla, Drupal, etc. &#xA;I'm looking for something easy and looking nice (skins). Any idea?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3538" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T22:16:52.463" Title="What CMS for parenting purpose?" Tags="|newborn|sharing|social-media|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2012-12-12T19:45:31.800" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6907" CreationDate="2012-12-11T22:16:52.463" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found &lt;a href=&quot;http://wordpress.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://wordpress.com&lt;/a&gt; to be a decent platform to use.  Having your blog hosted is really nice because you do not have to think about hosting, security, updates, etc...  I pay them for my own domain name (a few dollars per year).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here is an example:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://blog.gahooa.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://blog.gahooa.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By starting with your own domain name, you are not &quot;locking yourself in&quot; to a particular provider (although, moving isn't easy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot speak for the others, other than I chose hosted wordpress after looking at the others.  I wanted to spend as little time learning/messing around as possible, and more time just posting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3291" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T22:16:52.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2012-12-11T22:57:02.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 months from his 5th birthday and just now started pooping in the potty. We have been frustrated for years, since he was 2 1/2. He started doing it around 3 and got a stomach virus which put us back at square one. Everyday he would poop his pants, he did not care that he did it either. I started putting the poop in the toilet and showing him to flush it, nothing worked. Just a couple of weeks ago he got the rotacirus, which is really bad vomiting and diarrhea. He had pooped in the potty once that week before that, I was thinking this week will be awful with him having severe diarrhea in his pants. Surprising us he pooped everytime in the potty, I kept a pull-up on him the whole time and he actually got mad and wanted underwear. so we are going on week 3 of pooping in the potty. I really think its just a thing that will happen on its on, even though I have stressed over this for the pass few years. I told my Dr. about it about 6 months ago, and she said to give it a few more months and then they can check on some things, but I decided to wait till his 5 year check up and now we dont have to worry about that. Good luck with the training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3540" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T22:57:02.753" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6898" CreationDate="2012-12-11T23:39:31.337" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, if you're concerned, and it sounds like you are, it's worth a &lt;strong&gt;call to the advice nurse&lt;/strong&gt; or doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids develop repeated movements or behavior around that age (12-18 months). They usually go away. It's reassuring if you can distract her into doing other things. &lt;strong&gt;Try changing her focus&lt;/strong&gt;, to a song or maybe going outside for a change of scene. If the shaking and hitting stop when she's focused on something she likes, that's reassuring.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes kids shake their heads or hit themselves when they are &lt;strong&gt;overstimulated&lt;/strong&gt;. Then, trying to get their attention, and even holding them can be overwhelming. It's just more input-- tactile, mental, emotional, physical-- than they can handle. At times like that, it's best to be quiet-- reduce noise and bright lights and touching as best you can, and just give her a minute to calm down, while you're there in the room with her, but not too close.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say it's best to not make your concern too obvious to your daughter if it seems like she's shaking or hitting herself as a way of communicating with you. If that's the case, ignoring it will make it go away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to observe what she does in the hour or so before she starts the shaking or hitting. Does she rub her eyes? (she could be tired) Did she just eat? Did she just wake up? Is it morning or evening? Maybe there's a pattern that could help figure out the cause. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also a good age to make sure she's communicating with you. If she has problems understanding you or problems with social referencing (eg looking where you point, making eye contact), it's a good idea to talk with a pediatrician about her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-11T23:39:31.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6911" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6912" CreationDate="2012-12-12T01:19:06.357" Score="6" ViewCount="19755" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are planning to buy a &quot;glow in the dark&quot; blanket as our seven month old daughter finds it fascinating. However are there any health concerns with using &quot;glow in dark&quot; stuff. I understand they use radium for the glow effect. Does it cause any long term health hazard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2792" LastActivityDate="2021-04-08T15:34:51.913" Title="Are &quot;glow in the dark&quot; bedsheet safe" Tags="|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6911" CreationDate="2012-12-12T04:42:05.200" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;[Note: I can't post images, please edit if you can]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never heard of glow in the dark bedsheets. They definitely do not contain radium, which is deadly poisonous. There was a mass poisoning of workers, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radium_Girls&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Radium Girls&lt;/a&gt; in 1917, if you want to read a horrible story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today's glow in the dark materials need to be charged with light and then glow for some time, from minutes to hours, in contrast for the radioactive ones, which glow for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Phosphorescent materials are typically oxides or sulfides, doped with rare earths. These materials are mostly harmless (but not made to be ingested), you can find material safety datasheets for many materials &lt;a href=&quot;http://glowinc.com/glow-in-the-dark/MSDS/msds.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, that does not help you, because you don't know if the overseas manufacturer really used a safe material.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to do something really cool, here are some totally safe &lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20130321120824/http://www.glowforum.com/gallery/images.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;ideas&lt;/a&gt;:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/OaDud.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Stars&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The green stuff lasts longest, the red ones glow for only a short time. If you'd like to do a correct image of the sky, you can buy a cheap star projector to get the positions on the ceiling and then paint the stars in place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3459" LastEditorUserId="40925" LastEditDate="2021-04-08T15:34:51.913" LastActivityDate="2021-04-08T15:34:51.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6903" CreationDate="2012-12-12T07:30:00.643" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of my favourite suggestions I've seen: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Send pictures of the wife barefoot in the kitchen. It's subtle enough that it might require some prodding to get the hint&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Since it's the Christmas season, get some Christmas cards targeted as being from a grandchild to grandparents (this works especially well for if it's near a birthday or Mother's/Father's Day as well)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-12-12T07:30:00.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2012-12-12T07:44:05.327" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I exposed myself to a lot of terrible things whilst growing up and spending a lot of time on the Internet - things that I feel still affect me today. I had absolutely no supervision on Internet access from the age of about 8, although I greatly wish I did so I might not have seen and done what I have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the best solution is in putting the computer in a family living space so that they can expect someone to see what's on their screen at any given time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to your kids!&lt;/strong&gt; Ask them personally what they're doing but don't be accusative, act interested. They will either happily tell you about whatever game they're interested in, or they'll act coy because they're hiding something. While they are young enough to be exposed to bad things or be at risk of bad people, I expect these signs will be obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Never&lt;/strong&gt; resort to technical means. These will only annoy your child and prove to them that you do not trust them or what they do on a computer. More than likely they will incorrectly flag websites they need to use for homework, too, AS WELL as giving you a completely false sense of security. They are easy to bypass (doubtless your child is or will be smarter than you at computers before you realise it ). Also, smart phones are ubiquitous these days which provide easy unrestricted Internet access, either by tethering or a neighbours open WiFi. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Technical solutions are far too passive a means of 'securing' your child's access to the Internet and, as I say, are easily bypassed yet at the same time teach your child to keep silent about their activity, when they must be encouraged to be open and share with you what they're doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3542" LastActivityDate="2012-12-12T07:44:05.327" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6915" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6916" CreationDate="2012-12-12T08:47:21.270" Score="9" ViewCount="1856" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every bathtime it's the same story:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;It's bathtime now.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Son: &amp;quot;I don't want a bath&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;You need a bath to make you clean. You don't want to be dirty do you?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Son: &amp;quot;I don't need a bath&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Why don't you choose a toy to take up to your bath with you.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Son: &amp;quot;NO! I WANT TO PLAY HERE! I DON'T WANT A BATH !!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(...until finally he is carried to the bathroom kicking and screaming. And, of course, after a&#xA;few minutes he's enjoying himself so much he doesn't want to get out.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I always give him plenty of warning. We've tried getting him new and exciting bath toys. We've tried letting him bring his favourite (non-electrical) toys up to the bath with him. But every time, it's the same story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any suggestions of things to try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T04:38:08.280" Title="How can I encourage my three-year-old to have a bath?" Tags="|pre-schooler|bathing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6915" CreationDate="2012-12-12T10:21:15.777" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's about choice. It's not that he doesn't want a bath, it's that he wants to say when he has a bath. That's not possible of course, but one way that seems to work with my 3 year old is to ask &quot;do you want your bath before x, or after x&quot;, that way he has some choice. I'm amazed how well this tends to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you have to remember is that children are as intelligent as adults, just with less experience. Often 3 year olds can be reasoned with if you keep it simple, and it will get them started taking a bit of control over their own life which is a good thing. Buying them off and offering treats for what should be ordinary good behavior is self-defeating in the end, as you will end up buying their cooperation with anything, and just dragging them kicking and screaming leads them to associate baths with arguments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also found that using the &quot;big boy&quot; card works, as in &quot;big boys need to stay clean, and as a big boy I expect you to have a bath&quot;. Sometimes I combine the two. Occasionally nothing works and I will and up having to force things on him (I rarely have a problem getting him in the bath), but then I always remind him that I gave him a choice and he refused. It seems to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2012-12-12T10:21:15.777" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6917" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6919" CreationDate="2012-12-12T15:08:25.207" Score="3" ViewCount="5566" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 27 month old son started talking fairly early, and is very enthusiastic about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He talks &lt;em&gt;constantly&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he does stammer a lot, and stutters on some words.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most commonly, he'll have trouble starting a sentence.  E.g. &quot;I... I... &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; want to go look out the window&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been operating under the assumption that this is because he's still getting used to the physical act of speaking, and still developing the muscles and reflexes needed (much like he still has trouble with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6018/420&quot;&gt;the letter 's'&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, at what point should I start worrying?  Is there a particular age range where this should start to disappear on its own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T21:45:39.963" Title="When should I start to be concerned about stammering or stuttering?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6917" CreationDate="2012-12-12T18:02:53.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if there's a specific age to start worrying about it, but since it's still very early on, applying gentle corrections will help reduce the amount of it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By &quot;gentle corrections&quot;, I mean repeating back his words to him (sans stutter) and where appropriate, encouraging him to repeat them back to you again.  This technique is working well with our son, who seems to simply enjoy hearing the sounds of various letters over and over again (P-p-p-please).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to watch out for is your own (or any other peers/caregivers) speech patterns when talking to him - make sure they're talking normally, as toddlers love to mimic those around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-12-12T18:02:53.357" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6917" CreationDate="2012-12-12T18:27:01.883" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many children stutter somewhat during toddler-hood and it this age it is considered a perfectly normal part of speech development.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not known &lt;strong&gt;exactly&lt;/strong&gt; why stuttering occurs as part of speech development, but one idea out there that makes a lot of sense to me is that they simply get ahead of themselves from excitement or operate more slowly from fatigue at times.  I buy into this one because in my own experience, kids seem particularly likely to stutter when in a hurry, tired or super excited about something.  I actually think &lt;strong&gt;a lot&lt;/strong&gt; of kids do this from time to time, but it seems that depending on how one measures, somewhere between 5-20% of kids do this at some point in their development.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stuttering does actually run in families, and contrary to formerly popular belief is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; likely to simply be brought on by some traumatic incident.  If there is no stuttering in your family history, there probably is no real reason for concern.  In my experience it would be a good idea to wait and watch.  Don't worry about it too much (don't worry about correcting it), but pay attention and notice when it happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stuttering-answers.com/Stuttering-Toddler.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Stuttering Answers&lt;/a&gt; says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;2) You are best advised to just observe your child's speaking for a period to assess if the stuttering is getting worse or not. It is not unusual to be in this observation period for up to 12 months. As mentioned, many children will spontaneously recover within that period. Having said that early intervention is most important and stuttering is best treated before the age of 6.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some signs that there is something more serious going on &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;signs the child is tense and the stuttering increases the child's tension.  btw - in these situations, the child recognizes the sounds are wrong and it will not help to correct him - but only serves to increase anxiety over the matter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Frequency of stuttering and the length of time spent on prolonged sounds increases.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child stops talking around certain people.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most likely, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.  Some resources say that getting help is a good idea around age 5, while still others say six.  I've had students whose parents sought out help at age 4 so the child didn't have problems socially at school.  It seems to me, that if you wait a year or so and the stuttering still persists and especially if its frequency increases, sometime before the age of four is a good time to have your son evaluated (since he is only two now).  For kids whose stutter starts a bit later, 5-6 seems to be the standard age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/stuttering&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/stuttering&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stuttering-answers.com/Stuttering-Toddler.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.stuttering-answers.com/Stuttering-Toddler.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thehealthguide.org/tag/stuttering-in-toddlers/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.thehealthguide.org/tag/stuttering-in-toddlers/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-12-12T18:27:01.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6920" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6927" CreationDate="2012-12-12T18:52:52.207" Score="8" ViewCount="540" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4-year old has (finally) potty-trained and is starting to use the bathroom on his own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently though, unless we're constantly paying close attention every time he goes, he's started taking things like toothpaste/shampoo/soaps from the bathroom and treating them as toys (or art supplies) to play with, resulting in them getting all over the walls/carpets/furniture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried explaining that these things are &quot;not toys&quot;, though it's a difficult thing to explain since he gets to play with soaps and stuff when he's having a bath.  Only parts of it seems to be getting through - after realizing he'd been in the bathroom for a while (he'd run off to go potty), we discovered he had stripped down to sit in the bathtub to play with the shampoo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What other strategies are there to discourage this type of behaviour? Is this a normal thing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-12-13T17:10:45.433" Title="How to stop preschooler from taking toiletries from the bathroom to &quot;play with&quot;?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|play-time|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4401" CreationDate="2012-12-12T22:59:24.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child says it's important to have babies sleep without movement. Apparently sleeping in a rocker, stroller, carseat, etc. is not decent sleep. So if your baby falls asleep in the rocker, maybe turn it off once she falls asleep? That could be what is preventing her from sleeping in her crib. If you create a routine with her napping in her crib during the day it may make it easier to put her down at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When does she have her last nap during the day? Is it possible she's overtired? Eye-rubbing is a sign that a baby is past being tired and moving into over-tired zone. I give my 4 1/2 month old a 30 minute nap at 5pm to make sure she's not overtired by 7pm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you say &quot;we&quot; bathe her and breastfeed her...is more than one person involved in her nighttime routine? Maybe try having just you doing it and see if that helps? Perhaps she's over-stimulated by multiple people?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you keeping your routine &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; the same every night? I find my daughter is very sensitive to any change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you swaddle her still? Have you tried different types of pacifiers? It took us three or four tries to find one she likes and it's extremely helpful for getting her to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, just some ideas. I'm having the opposite problem in that my daughter won't sleep in her crib during the day but is a champ at night. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-12T22:59:24.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6923" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-12T23:00:25.850" Score="11" ViewCount="823" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3.5-year-old son. He's bright and energetic, but I'm worried about his behavior, since it seems out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was walking at 7 months.  His language has always been good - he knew his alphabet in song by 1 or so, and all his animals - hundreds.  He has great abilities to rationalize, comprehend a story, and a good imagination and level of intelligence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that he can't sit still.  He still has this urge to run, to shout, to disobey and to throw tantrums and cry and the most preposterous events.  Every day is a struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put him in a Nursery at 11 months when I went back to work, and it was OK at first.  But then the biting began.  And he was always so busy, unlike other children who could be still, he was always on the move.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going to restaurants was out of the question.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We took to the odd spanking when his behavior goes really out of control.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, he got kicked out of his pre-kindergarten nursery at 3.5.  Granted these people were humourless and failed to celebrate his character, but is it me?  What can I do to make him listen, to focus, to behave?  Will he grow out of it?  I'm terrified he'll get kicked out of his next school.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: is it too late for us to correct his out of control behavior?  What's the best strategy to get started?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3546" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-05-22T12:16:19.090" LastActivityDate="2019-09-05T14:07:31.607" Title="My wild 3.5-year-old - have I missed out on the key years of relationship-building and discipline?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|crying|tantrums|biting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6923" CreationDate="2012-12-13T07:50:35.457" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I want to say that I have tremendous respect for what you are doing. My wife is experiencing the same thing, so I know how it is. The way I see this, is that your little one is passionate and curious. But he does not understand the world he lives in. My daughter also bites, scratches, and hits. When it comes to discipline, there is not much we can do now since she is only one year (except explaining and saying NO). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She goes nuts everyday, the same like in your case. Funny thing is, when we go outside with her, she can run and look around.  It puts her in a different state. I would say this aggressive behavior is due to boredom. He seems an intelligent boy, so he might not be challenged in his activities. And please don't worry if he got kicked out of pre-school, I mean, to me it seems that they don't want to deal with him because he does not sit still. What I can recommend are the books from Dr. Karp; those helped us a lot. We read a lot about parenting since we do not have any family members that we can ask for help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, you are just providing guidance in his life, that does not mean that everything that happens is your fault; he has a strong personality and he wants to be independent. Even though my daughter makes us nuts, I know that she will get what she wants later on in life because of her strong personality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get worried sometimes too, but I notice that parents also got scared with all the garbage in the media about symptoms in kids about diseases. It happens so fast that kids get labeled with a medical term and are on a drug plan to make them socially more feasible. When it comes to parenting, listen to your heart and you will make the right decisions. You can be proud of yourself! I know this post is probably not what you have expected, but I felt related to your post, so I wanted to share my thoughts on that. Best of luck to you and your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3547" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-22T12:17:41.703" LastActivityDate="2019-05-22T12:17:41.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6920" CreationDate="2012-12-13T17:10:45.433" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a clever child you have!  He understands the shampoo is to be used in the bath, so he tried to take a bath in order to play with it.  That is fabulous!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do understand the problem, but I do think you should take a moment to recognize this problem is stemming from the fact that your child &lt;strong&gt;does&lt;/strong&gt; understand what you have told him, each thing has a place where it gets used.  Kids often don't seem to respond to the word, &quot;not.&quot;  It often seems like although you said, &quot;they're not toys,&quot; they hear, &quot;They're toys.&quot;  Whenever possible, I try to use the opposite.  Instead of saying something is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt;, I ask myself, okay what &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; it?  and tell kids about that.  I'd suggest teaching him that shampoo, soap, toothpaste etc. are &lt;strong&gt;tools&lt;/strong&gt;.  Each item has a job to do - even his toys have a job to do - to entertain and teach him.  When he plays with his toys, his toys are doing their job.  Shampoo, however, has a different job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shampoo does the job of washing hair and it also does this job at a specific &lt;strong&gt;time&lt;/strong&gt; - not just when he feels like washing.  I'm sure you are happy to teach him how to use the &lt;strong&gt;tool&lt;/strong&gt; shampoo correctly, but stress to him that it should only be used when it is &lt;strong&gt;bathtime&lt;/strong&gt;, not just &quot;in the bath.&quot;  Make it clear to him when &lt;strong&gt;&quot;bathtime&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; actually occurs.  Is it part of the bedtime routine?  Is it something that happens every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday?  Does he bathe in the morning?  Give it a specific time and even show him when that time is on the clock.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same, of course, goes for other toiletries.  Give him specific examples of the job the item helps in completing as well as &lt;strong&gt;when&lt;/strong&gt; that job is done.  Indicate that the &lt;strong&gt;when's&lt;/strong&gt; you are giving are the only time to use those items.  Then enforce the idea.  Don't use the soap and shampoo as a toy any longer if you have been, in order to help make the distinction for him.  After he is past this little phase, you can go back to an occasional playful moment with the soap.  Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2012-12-13T17:10:45.433" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2012-12-14T01:41:59.707" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child is below 12 years of age, I believe you should still monitor his or her internet usage.  As a parent, it is our responsibility to guide our children with the choices they make in using the internet.  It is not about helicopter parenting, but I think this is still crucial time where your child still needs proper guidance.  When your child reaches teen years, you can start giving him or her independence, but from time to time check their activities, so you can properly guide them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T01:41:59.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6898" CreationDate="2012-12-14T01:46:45.570" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I strongly suggest that you bring her to your family doctor, so they can assess your daughters situation.  You can share these observation to your doctor, so they can refer you to a specialist if needed.  This is also for your peace of mind,  and you would also know how you will deal with this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T01:46:45.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6262" CreationDate="2012-12-14T02:25:48.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Helpguide.org listed a detailed information on how you can deal with your child having ADHD.  The behavioral problems that you mentioned are the manifestations of having ADHD.  Actually, ADHD children, if properly trained can be organized and obedient, but the problem is, they don't know how to do it.  Thus, as a parent, you really need to have lots of patience, understanding and training on how you can turn and channel their slew behavior into positive ones.   You have to look things into proper perspective and accept the fact that your child is having a disorder.  His problem behavior is not actually intentional but it is driven by ADHD.  You have to hold on to your temper and your sense of humor so you can manage to deal with the situation.  Don't be too overly concerned with one task undone, be happy if your child is able to do at least two task in a day.  Don't set too much high expectations with ADHD children.  You also need to trust and believe to your child, that through patience and reinforcement, he can learn the behavior in time, not just fast as other kids do. -&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T02:25:48.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="427" CreationDate="2012-12-14T02:44:58.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I caught my one year and ten month old son, holding a stick and was about to hit the dog.  I immediately took the stick away from him, and told him that it is bad to do it.  At this age, my son knows what is bad already, so in a way, I was able to channel the information.  I also try to show him how to take care of the pet, because toddlers often mimics what they saw in adult.  When he sees that I care for the pet, he will slowly how to deal with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T02:44:58.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5002" CreationDate="2012-12-14T03:23:15.553" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;About.com listed some of the risks of posting your baby's photos online are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if your baby's photo is used with other means without your permission.  There is a story of a girl who found out that her photo was used for a mobile company halfway around the world without her permission.  Another family also found out that their family picture was used as a storefront ad in another country&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some also worry about their privacy, like some people (pedophile) might get interested in their child and hunt him or her (This may or may not happen but parents need to be concerned).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What to do to mitigate the risks:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your concerned about your privacy - make the photos private and share it only with friends or families, like give them private links which they can follow &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read the terms of service of the site before posting - there are some sites which when you post photos, you are automatically granting permission to other sites to use your photos &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dont give full information, like your name,address and so on, so you will not easily be located by people who dont know you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid posting pics that will embarass your kids afterwards &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://familyinternet.about.com/od/computingsafetyprivacy/a/Safe_to_post_photos_of_kids_online.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://familyinternet.about.com/od/computingsafetyprivacy/a/Safe_to_post_photos_of_kids_online.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T03:23:15.553" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2012-12-14T03:40:23.967" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some of the tactics on how to deal with tantrums from  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/No-More-Tantrums.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/No-More-Tantrums.aspx&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speak calmly with your child, reassure him or her that you are there and you don't want them to hurt themselves&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make an eye contact with your child and hold them tightly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let the storm weather until your child calms down&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it is not possible for the child to calm down, bring him into a time-out corner where your child is safe like a pushchair or play pen where he can stay for several minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also visit the site, so you would know how to tantrum-proof your home&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T03:40:23.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4988" CreationDate="2012-12-14T04:44:48.433" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the purposes of the WHO Growth chart is to set a standard percentile ranking to identify the actual weight whether the child is considered obese and or underweight.  The figures are already set as a standard.  For you to be able to get the percentile ranking of the child, it is best a baby use a baby weight percentile calculator, so you would know the rank of the child based on WHO standards.  The obese children are already classified based on their weight.  The number of obese children is not a dependent variable in the percentile ranking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:33:46.193" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:33:46.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3284" CreationDate="2012-12-14T04:54:42.640" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is understandable for parents to be too much concerned about their child's percentile ranking. But as long as your child, is in the normal range, you have nothing to worry about.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the table manners, you need to discipline them on the do's and don'ts in eating, so your child can focus on his or her activities, and so they will not be easily distracted.  Try to help them to have a routine, so they can eat on the right time and they would also know when is playtime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:33:26.320" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:33:26.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3142" CreationDate="2012-12-14T05:06:56.707" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with BBM, that for a child, every new toy becomes their favorite toy.  This is also the same observation I am seeing with my child. But I also try my best to give him developmental toys which will help or aid him in his learning. I buy books, media and toys that would help him improve his vocabulary, word knowledge and so on, so he can learn easily. At home, we also try to play Scrabble, and or read books, so he could see our interest, so in a way, he can be influenced. He would know the kind of games that we play. There are even some scrabble boards specially made for children, which can help them learn words in a fun way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-10T10:37:23.130" LastActivityDate="2018-04-10T10:37:23.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6940" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6941" CreationDate="2012-12-14T12:38:15.663" Score="14" ViewCount="63922" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old daughter has had this issue recently where if anything goes &quot;wrong&quot; she completely loses it.  I put &quot;wrong&quot; in quotes because its the slightest thing and, in particular, its situations that she has the ability to obtain what she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if we put a hair band in her hair she will say I want a different one.  Ok . . so we give her a different one and then she freaks out and says &quot;thats not the one I want&quot;..so I will suggest she picks one out from her collection.  Instead of walking over to her hair band and picking out the one she wants as I suggest. . she completely loses it and gets hysterical and has a tantrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in these situations where she has complete ability and control to &quot;solve her issue&quot;, and I reiterate that she can do the step to resolve her issues, I am trying to understand why, instead, she gets hysterical unnecessarily instead.  Also, looking for any advice on how to deal with this and encourage her to think about what she wants to solve her &quot;problem&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T23:06:33.277" Title="Any advice on how to react to my 4 year old who gets hysterical instead of solving her &quot;problem&quot;?" Tags="|tantrums|problem-solving-skills|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6940" CreationDate="2012-12-14T16:37:45.173" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I completely relate - know that it gets better.  When my little girl was four she went through a phase almost exactly like the one you describe - except instead of tantrums she dissolved into tears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you should know that developmentally a lot of things are going on at four and they are growing in ways that are much more difficult to &quot;see&quot; than when they are just a bit younger.  They begin to realize there can be different perceptions and different knowledge about things between people (a precursor in understanding required for integrating an understanding of &quot;real&quot; and &quot;fiction&quot;, for the ability to lie in order to deceive, and in fully relating with others in imaginative and collaborative play).  I'd imagine there is a certain amount of anxiety that comes with this as they start to understand they can't just trust every one they meet the way they once did.  There is also a lot of growth in the frontal cortex which can make things confusing and stressful too.  For more information on the toddler-preschool brain (the article talks about kids aged around 3) and how that plays a part in tantrums click &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/toddler-temper-tantrums?page=0,1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; (parenting magazine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are also moving steadily toward more independence and they stop looking so &quot;babyish&quot; and start really looking like &quot;kids.&quot;  Without even realizing it, the adults around her start to expect a lot more of her (and she is mostly ready for those expectations).  Many four-year-olds get a bit &quot;clingy&quot; or &quot;needy&quot; in various ways.  Kids that a month ago had the ability to tie shoes for themselves will suddenly &quot;forget&quot; and want help, or (at the preschool) kids that previously had no difficulty when they got dropped off, will need a little extra reassurance that mom will come back at the end of the day (seriously, even those that have attended preschool since they were barely two and whose mothers &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; forgot to come get them).  I figure it is one way to cope with all these realizations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a bit like when little ones start walking.  With some kids you know they &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; walk, but they aren't ready to believe it so they still cling and hold on until one day the temptation to grab something over-takes them and they forget to hold on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me as though that is where your daughter is at the moment.  Knowing that, you might want to make a point of spending a little extra time with the story part of the bedtime routine, incorporate asking her how her day was, what she did and learned etc. at some regular time and event like over dinner or on the car-ride home from school.  Really make sure you add some extra quality time - just as a preventative measure.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked really well for us, was to say to our daughter, &quot;I see you are upset, but crying won't help solve the problem.  When you are ready to talk about it, let me know&quot;  Then we'd give her a soothing pat, brief hug or kiss and give her a little time to &quot;recover.&quot;  (btw, recovery took place in her room, or in a &quot;quiet&quot; place away from us).  When the drama part was over she could come to us and we would guide her through her decision.  &quot;I want to help you hon, but I don't understand which clip it is you wanted.  You'll just have to show me.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we were in a hurry, we would say something more like, &quot;I understand you are upset, but if you can't just go get the clip you want quickly, there just isn't enough time for me to do anything about it and you'll have to wear this one.&quot;  Then, we let her be upset about it.  It was her decision to wallow in her disappointment or to buck up and move on quickly and there-by actually get what she wanted.  Either way, we administered without much emotion other than those emotions that expressed sympathy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband had a particularly difficult time with this and often he would try to reason with her to calm her down.  The more he said or did to calm her, the more upset she got.  Then, he would get frustrated and yell, &quot;Oh stop crying about it&quot; or vent his frustration with her lack of reason in some fashion.  This, of course, made the tearfulness get 100 times worse.  It didn't take long before he realized that one-two quick sentences of support followed by a &quot;It is your decision how quickly you move on&quot; kind of attitude was rewarded with the quickest path to daughter drama recovery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest taking a look at some of the questions already asked about tantrums such as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1244/2876&quot;&gt;This Question&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6533/2876&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;.  The first one covers tantrums with a two year old, but may still have some good information.  In particular, in the second one, I would look at &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6539/2876&quot;&gt;Christine Gorden's Answer&lt;/a&gt; and see if it applies to your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It did take about a month to get through the bulk of the phase, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn't take very long before she skipped all the drama and just went straight to the &quot;problem solving&quot; part.  She still gets dramatic sometimes - especially if she is overtired or overstimulated, but we were mostly past it by the time she turned five (until, that is, the hormones start kicking in I suspect).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2012-12-17T04:59:18.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6940" CreationDate="2012-12-14T19:04:18.170" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whether the &quot;problem&quot; is real or imagined is all but irrelevant. What's important is giving them the tools they need to communicate their emotions in a pro-active manner. Dealing with stressful situations is hard enough for adults so when kids don't know what to do they fall back to old faithful; screaming and crying. We tried a lot of different things before finding the sweet spot for our kid. Obviously your mileage may vary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step zero is getting him to take a deep breath. It's easier said than done but if we can get him to do that it opens up our ability to communicate with him. After that we focus on the language he needs. If he is having a hard time emotionally we focus on naming the emotion. We might suggest a phrase that he could use like &quot;that makes me sad when you say that Daddy&quot;. If the upset is more of a material want situation then we focus on phrases that help him ask for things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like everything in parenting this is not a silver bullet. Sometimes it utterly fails with him screaming &quot;I CAN'T TAKE A DEEP BREATH!!&quot; but in the long term we have had tremendous success with our emphasis on language tools. It's to the point now where we can skip all of the above and go straight to &quot;Why don't you try saying that in a different way.&quot; He will then take a deep breath and rephrase what he just said. Sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2873" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T19:04:18.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6944" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-14T19:40:26.527" Score="17" ViewCount="232343" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 4 1/2 months old and she only naps for 30-45 minutes at a time. She wakes up happy, but she is tired again after a little over an hour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know some babies are naturally short nappers. But there have been times where she will sleep two hours or longer if I'm holding her (which I have stopped doing altogether for her naps). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a short nap routine and I use a sound machine during her naps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice? Thanks in advance! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- She takes 4 or 5 naps per day. She is only awake 1.5 hours before she begins showing sleep signs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2012-12-18T15:33:56.850" LastActivityDate="2017-07-05T10:38:31.900" Title="How do I help my 4 month old nap longer?" Tags="|infant|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6944" CreationDate="2012-12-14T23:28:02.043" Score="0" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2849779/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;light to set circadian rhythm&lt;/a&gt; patterns. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure the shades in the room where she is around sunrise are open. Even if it's cloudy and winter, the light will set a rhythm. Also, make sure it stays dark at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Then, try to watch for signs that she is tired, rubbing her eyes, yawning, getting fussy. If you keep track of these &quot;tired signs&quot; over then next few days, you may see a pattern for which time of day she has the most tired signs. This would be her ideal nap time. It's usually in the afternoon, between 3-5.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure her tummy is full before you put her down for a nap. Also, having a regular schedule of feeding times, helps with the rhythm.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Using a sound cue before nap time, like a lullaby-- that you only play before naptime will help her learn that it's naptime too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It may have to be okay that she doesn't sleep-- as long as it's quiet rest time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-14T23:28:02.043" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6944" CreationDate="2012-12-15T11:29:38.047" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, napping is normal. It takes a bit longer for longer cycles to start to embed themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age you just need to work around your baby's sleep/nap cycles. Not fun for the parents, but that's just part of the time investment in having babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't try and push her naps into consolidated longer sleeps - her stomach is very small, so once she has digested any milk she will get hungry and wake again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-12-15T11:29:38.047" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6947" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6948" CreationDate="2012-12-15T11:30:55.707" Score="8" ViewCount="2743" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (5) sometimes changes his mood suddenly. Sure this is somehow normal human behavior, but it can drive us mad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This morning everything worked great and &quot;peacefully&quot; until breakfast. After having breakfast, we went to the bathroom: he was supposed to was his hands/face and he just didn't do it (instead did other things like hiding somewhere behind a towel or rolling up the carpet )  although I told him calmly several times to firstly clean his hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seemed to be fun for him to see me getting more and more angry until I was really really angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like arguments like that, because even if &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; gets normal quickly afterwards, &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; am angry quite a long time and can not easily forget that I was provoked for nothing (at least that's my point of view).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the impression, that if the situation gets too perfect, he purposefully tries to destroy it. This sounds strange to me - could this be true?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could be the reasons for such behavior and what would be a good reaction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Highly sensitive persons&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some time ago we learned about highly sensitive persons (I had never heard about this before) and that our son might be one of them. This helps me a lot understanding his often &quot;difficult&quot; behavior, also like what I described in this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I understood this might explain that he very suddenly gets kind of &quot;information/stimulus overload&quot; (especially if we had many activities during the day) and then the situation gets out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... and this also explains, why his behavior and reactions might be different from that of &gt;80% of the other children and therefore maybe different from the experience of 80% of other parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2016-03-15T20:14:26.783" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T21:15:17.020" Title="Why does my son (5) suddenly provoke me although everything seemed to be perfect before?" Tags="|pre-schooler|conflict|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6947" CreationDate="2012-12-15T17:43:33.870" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, yes.  It is possible he is purposefully riling you up.  Not, perhaps for any specific reason he is consciously aware of.  It is also possible that he simply gets distracted and doesn't know how to cope with your anger and unwittingly makes you more angry with his reactions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is purposefully riling you, he may do it because (even if he does get a lot of attention) he may feel he needs more attention.  He may do it because of a latent anger about something &lt;strong&gt;or&lt;/strong&gt; because something thrills him about getting you upset.  There may be underlying issues I cannot even begin to guess at.  One possibility is that he is a smart kid not motivated by standard rewards and punishments who wants to do things (like wash his hands) on his own terms.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After teaching for ten years (including in a specialized school for kids with emotional and behavioral challenges), I've concluded that some kids are only intrinsically motivated. These kids also like to be in control of their own destinies (don't you like to be in control of yourself?) Recent research has confirmed that for many kids rewards AND punishments are not really the motivators many parents believe them to be.  The methods used for teaching and disciplining these kinds of kids, convieniently work really well with other kids too and teach all kids life skills about self control, problem solving and decision making that are important to their well being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answering a question about how to control your own anger is probably best suited to another forum, but in terms of the parenting aspect of things, you will be well-served to avoid getting highly emotive about most things related to your child and his foibles.  He may just need a listener.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Offering up Choices&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To begin, it may help to offer him choices &lt;strong&gt;when you can&lt;/strong&gt;.  I understand choices are not always possible (nor, really should they be) but the more of them you can offer, the better.  These are not choices like wash your hands or you can't . . . because that isn't a real choice, it is a threat.  You might choose two ways he can wash his hands that are both equally comfortable for you.  &quot;Would you like to wash your hands at the kitchen sink or in the bathroom?&quot;  by doing this, you are telling him what needs to be done, but also offering up a choice and allowing him some say in how he goes about doing the hand washing.  This offers him a sense of control and/or dignity he may subconsciously need and is not getting.  The more you can offer such choices in general, the more this need will be met and the less you will find yourself in a power struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you offer choices often, when a time arises that you can't offer a choice, you are free to say, &quot;Dude, I let you decide a lot of things around here.  Once in awhile you've gotta just go with it and trust me on some things -  this is one of those times.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Seeking Understanding&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a kid and needs to be understood to feel loved and accepted.  You are a parent and need to feel you understand him so you can do a good job in guiding him.  Why not ask questions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Hey (name here), do you remember what you are supposed to be doing?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;no&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Oh.  Well, you need to wash your hands so we can (go shopping, go to your friends, so you can play . . .) and you seem to have chosen to wash your hands here in the bathroom.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;OR&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Yes&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Hmm. . . Can you tell me why you aren't washing them?  Is there something I can help with?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is speaking calmly, listen calmly.  If he speaks in anger, take a deep breath and listen calmly.  Show him that no matter what, you love and accept him - I know you just also need to teach him a few things along the way, but show him love and acceptance first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase him.  Paraphrasing you will let him know you understand his response fully. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Then&lt;/strong&gt;, you can tell him your thoughts. Tell him whatever it is, calmly and start with &quot;I.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I need you to get your hands washed so we can move on with our day.  I know you don't want to wash them now, but that is not a choice.  Your hands need washing.  I will expect them washed in two minutes.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, after all that he still doesn't wash his hands, do it for him.  Hold his hands (not with anger or emotion) just hold his hands and go through the motions of washing his hands.  If this angers him, calmly say, &quot;Well, if you show me you can handle washing your hands on your own next time, then, you won't have to let me wash them for you.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most things, natural consequences like this are much more likely to help better than you yelling at him, punishing him, or offering rewards for a job finished (bribing him). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing that is super important with this method is that you &lt;strong&gt;Remain virtually emotion free.&lt;/strong&gt;  That is, &lt;strong&gt;except&lt;/strong&gt; when you are expressing empathy. Consequences arise because they are the natural order of things. Consequences (good AND bad) do not arise because of your anger, frustration or even because of your happiness in his choices or pride in his successes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he makes a poor choice, feel badly with him about it, but don't jump in and rescue him from his own poor choice. Remember - it isn't really your problem so you have no reason to be angry about it.  When he is behaving in a way that does pose a problem, tell him about your feelings, &quot;I am frustrated because I have asked you to (whatever it is, wash hands for example) and you said you would do it and now you are not.  Here is what I am going to do about that.&quot;  Just make sure your tone and body language are both calm while you tell him about your feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to be there for him to talk about ideas that may have worked better for him when he does make bad choices.  Together, brainstorm ideas about different choices he could use next time that will be more productive. It is a difficult thing to switch to and requires a lot of work but gets MUCH better results in the end. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are also well within your rights to do some family counseling if you choose to.  A little conversation with an expert around to do some of the conflict resolution and teach all of you skills that will help you understand each-other better is a good thing for anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-16T17:00:09.910" LastActivityDate="2012-12-16T17:00:09.910" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6949" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6961" CreationDate="2012-12-15T17:51:03.117" Score="4" ViewCount="1719" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many picture books wind up on children's bookshelves that are only looked at a few times and then they sit there collecting dust - never revisited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Buying books for kids (especially when they aren't there to choose with you) can be pretty difficult because it is so hard to know what will go over well and what will not.   What aspects of a children's book are likely to make it well received by the children it is given to?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am truly not asking what makes a book popular - I don't want a list of fads or &quot;in things&quot; right now.  How do I choose books of QUALITY?  What makes a book one kids will read over and over again - what should I look for in picture books to choose books for my kids that are more likely to be the kind of book my children will love - even to the point of wanting to share the same books with their own kids someday?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-17T01:36:57.527" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T16:03:33.767" Title="What qualities should one look for when choosing picture books for young children?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|books|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2586" CreationDate="2012-12-15T17:58:42.167" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I worked in Arts &amp;amp; Crafts at a day camp one summer and 4 year olds require some, but not a ton of direction to do a craft. We always prepared all the materials needed beforehand (that part is boring) and completed the craft once to show the kids what they were making. Maybe this isn't practical in a home setting, but it did work in providing direction so it wasn't just kids gluing random pieces of paper to a bigger piece of paper. We also did have to keep them on task. Quite often they wanted to abandon the craft when it was only partially done, so we encouraged them to finish. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 4 year olds loved using glue and scissors! And of course paint and clay. So try and include those things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry he'll have trouble following directions in the future- he's only 4!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's great that you're doing crafts with him. I can't wait till my daughter is old enough for crafty stuff!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-15T17:58:42.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6947" CreationDate="2012-12-15T18:33:28.667" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think BalancedMama's answer has some excellent depth to it, and some guidance on what you can do for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A very simplified view, and the one I take, is that children need to continually understand where their boundaries are. They are growing and learning and sometimes their boundary checking looks like deliberate antagonism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help make it very easy for your child by not getting angry, but instead describing what you need them to do and why. Where options do not matter, let them decide, but if the outcome does matter, make it obvious that there is no discussion - while remaining calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-12-15T18:33:28.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5480" CreationDate="2012-12-15T20:08:42.740" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby did not poop for more than 5 days.I called his nurse and she suggested that I stimulate it by inserting a metal or plastic thermometer just as if I am checking his temperature. Then he pooped immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; use a glass thermostat: it can break. Use a metal or plastic thermometer instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2187" LastEditorUserId="2303" LastEditDate="2017-05-11T10:20:53.600" LastActivityDate="2017-05-11T10:20:53.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6953" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6956" CreationDate="2012-12-15T20:12:02.520" Score="11" ViewCount="884" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a pediatric visit for my 1 month old son. The doctor suggested that we do a &quot;Tummy Time&quot; practice several times a day. She explained to us how to do it. But I could not understood what are the benefits of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2187" LastEditorUserId="2187" LastEditDate="2012-12-16T07:49:24.590" LastActivityDate="2018-04-09T13:31:12.127" Title="What is &quot;Tummy Time&quot;" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6949" CreationDate="2012-12-15T21:08:26.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Suggest you take the kids to the library every week and check a few books out (spend some time there too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soon you will see the ones that they really like.  Create a list.  Check them out again in 2 months, and if they still &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; like them, then go to amazon.com.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even as an adult, books really appeal to me, but I realize that I do not have enough time and bandwidth to handle all the ones I would like.  So I really try to be very sure before dropping $$$ on buying books.  For me, it boils down to finishing what I have on hand before buying more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For kids, they are always growing, so I would not expect too much that they would love the same book over and over and over (over time) ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... there are some notable exceptions to this, like the Little House on the Prairie series, the chronicles of narnia, and other timeless books like that -- but again, these are for slightly older kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3291" LastActivityDate="2012-12-15T21:08:26.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6953" CreationDate="2012-12-15T23:24:49.717" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;The benefits include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;strengthening the neck, back and body muscles, as well as the arms and shoulders&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;additionally babies who get tummy time are less likely to develop Torticollis (where the neck muscles tighten and restrict movement&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;giving the baby an opportunity to see the world the way they will for the rest of their life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;helps avoid the development of a flat spot on the back of the head&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-12-15T23:24:49.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6949" CreationDate="2012-12-16T08:41:24.237" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 19 month old son so we're in prime picture book buying mode at the moment! We find that for our son to fall in love with a book, it has to meet at least one (and preferably both) of these two criteria:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A lot of action to look at; and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pictures of things that he's recently learned (whether it's a new word or a new activity).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll give two examples that illustrate why these criteria are the important ones for us when evaluating picture books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, our son is really in love with what in German is called &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wimmelbilderbuch&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wimmelbilderbücher&lt;/a&gt;. It shows a typical German town (called &quot;Wimmlingen&quot; and I think the English equivalent is &quot;Busytown&quot;) with a different book for each season. There are pictures of cats, dogs, birds, buses, bulldozers, people on bikes or walking or driving, etc and these are all words he's learning to say. He points to eg. a picture of a cat and says &quot;cat&quot; or we say &quot;Where's the cat?&quot; and then he finds it on the page. There are also many little &quot;stories&quot; embedded in the book making it fun for parents to look at as well. Here's a typical example from the Winter Wimmelbuch:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/hBnpT.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A second example is a book called &quot;Zähneputzen ist kinderleicht!&quot; which means &quot;Brushing your teeth is as easy as ABC&quot; or something like that. It follows a family eating dinner and then learning how to brush teeth before bed. It's quite cute and is part of a series that follows a family going through daily life as the toddler ages (other books in the series show bedtime routine, getting a new sibling, learning to use the toilet, starting Kindergarten which begins at 3 years in Germany, etc). It's nice because our son gets used to seeing the same family with a child about the same age as he is learning to do the same things as he's learning to do (it also might help that the family in the book looks very similar to our family...!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;tl;dr&lt;/strong&gt; The most successful strategy we've employed for finding picture books that our son loves is to ensure consistency and familiarity in the content.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3356" LastEditorUserId="3356" LastEditDate="2012-12-16T09:41:09.543" LastActivityDate="2012-12-16T09:41:09.543" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6949" CreationDate="2012-12-16T16:46:34.480" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When looking for children's Picture Books, One should consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Child's Interests (fiction or non-fiction, genre, subject, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How engaging the pictures are &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For what is the book intended?  Will this be for bed-time?  Self-reading corner?  Is the purpose an educational one or purely fun (Is there a difference in your mind)?  For books like bedtime books, you'll want a soothing, soft flow.  For something that is more in the &quot;fun&quot; realm, I personally love sharing books like &quot;Quiet Loud&quot; with toddlers (I act things out a bit) and Llama llama with preschoolers (My &quot;acting gets pretty outrageous with this one).  I choose these books because they are fun for me to read.  If you are having fun reading it, they'll have fun listening.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Child's Comprehension Level - how much are they able to understand, are you looking for rhythm and rhyme to engage the youngest listener with the lilt of language?  Are you looking for repetition and predictability of vocabulary expansion for toddlers?  Are you looking for early readers?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Child's current understanding of books - Do you need a board book for teaching how to turn pages and how to hold the book - or is your child ready for a &quot;big kid&quot; book that might even include short chapters?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, but most importantly, &quot;Why should they care?&quot;  Kids understand more than we think and many kid's stories are &lt;strong&gt;way&lt;/strong&gt; too watered down.  If it is a fictional story is there enough complexity or meaning in the story to engage your child?  Are its characters relate-able?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Figuring it All Out&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As @gahooa mentioned, the library is a good place to &quot;experiment&quot; without the need to invest a bunch of money in the books you purchase.  It won't take long for your kids to tell you exactly what they do and do not like in what you bring home.  You can also use the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ala.org/alsc/awardsgrants/bookmedia/caldecottmedal/caldecotthonors/caldecottmedal&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Caldecott Medal and Honor Books&lt;/a&gt; List to take a look at the kind of books that other children (and their parents) have liked tremendously over the years.  You will find many classics like &quot;Where the Wild Things Are&quot; and &quot;Make Way for Ducklings&quot; here.  Of course there are tons of high-quality books that have not won these awards as well, but it can be a good place to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some Tips&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids Like Humor - silly, gross and the unexpected often go over&#xA;really well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look for books that will allow kids to &quot;predict&quot; what is yet to come.  For the preschool set, they like to be able to chant along with the repeated stanzas like, &quot;Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, will there be enough room?&quot;  When slightly older, they like to feel a sense of mystery, but one they had the chance to guess at.  Predicting is also an important skill to practice as a pre-reading exercise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids don't want to be spoken down to or lectured by their books.  In many cases, the meaning in the story should be clear, but open at least somewhat to interpretation.  &lt;strong&gt;Or&lt;/strong&gt; the message should be a reassuring one - like &quot;Mommy loves you very much.&quot;  There are &lt;strong&gt;Great&lt;/strong&gt; books that don't follow this rule, but they are usually the ones that have an educational purpose in mind and @smillig did a great job of describing how to choose these.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2012-12-17T01:34:31.390" LastActivityDate="2012-12-17T01:34:31.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6476" CreationDate="2012-12-16T21:40:01.467" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have an answer as to how to get your child to vocalize words. But I can say that my nephew didn't speak much at 2 or 3, but started at 4 and now he's 6 and literally won't stop talking. He didn't have interventions of any kind. He was just late talking. It's not necessarily a problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-16T21:40:01.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5480" CreationDate="2012-12-16T21:45:03.890" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost 5 months old and sometimes doesn't poop for a week. My paediatrician assures me this is normal for an exclusively breastfed baby. But when my baby does seem bothered by it, I use a glycerin suppository to get things going and it works like a charm (my paediatrician said she'd do the same...she also suggested giving diluted prune juice 1 to 1). My mother, who is a nurse and used to work on Post-Partum, also said I could use a gloved pinky finger and insert it a bit to get things going (similar to the thermostat idea).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But these are solutions that have worked for my daughter from 4 months on. I'm not sure if it's OK for a 6 week old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! I know, their poop is so worrying! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-16T21:45:03.890" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1406" CreationDate="2012-12-16T21:47:39.143" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At night I slather on Weleda calendula diaper cream and my daughter has never had even a touch of diaper rash. I don't change her diaper at night (she never poops, only pees) so it's imperative I put a ton on. It works! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-16T21:47:39.143" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-12-16T21:47:39.143" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2012-12-17T15:22:43.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a new tendency to get kids into cycling, just start with a balance bike for kids that has no pedals, so he needs only his legs to speed, that would give him comfort on standing in 2 wheels and easy correct the equilibrium, he still has his legs free and he can correct the position until he learns how to get speed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the fun part comes, normally because the speed is limited to the strength of the legs, and the pedals increase the speed, he will eventually ask you to buy a bike with pedals. By that time he will have the skills to hold in 2 wheels acquired and he would be more concern on speed (then is when the parents' nightmare comes, but that's another question :) )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3562" LastActivityDate="2012-12-17T15:22:43.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6903" CreationDate="2012-12-17T22:26:20.187" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A &quot;grandma/grandpa&quot; picture frame with a sonogram picture in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2012-12-17T22:26:20.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6967" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-17T23:13:26.910" Score="16" ViewCount="45591" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13 year old daughter has severe and daily outbursts - sometimes as many as 10 a day - from time she gets up till time she goes to bed. This has been going on since she was of walking and talking age. Over the years it has substantially increased, and I am at my wits end with her, and am looking for help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have told my family doctor and he said she will grow out of it, but she hasn't, and at 13 it is getting worse. It is a daily struggle with her. I honestly believe in my heart she has a medical condition and is not just being a bad unruly child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything seems to set her off - getting ready for school in the morning, or her hair not working out right - she screams stomps and throws things. It happens always for anything; she seems to have no patience at all, and instead of having patience she explodes with anger, literally damaging her stuff or mine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot handle this anymore.  I just want to run away most times. This pattern of her explosive behaviour always begins as soon as anything doesn't go her way. Dealing with daily outbursts for years and now up to 10 episodes a day, I can no longer tolerate this and am desperate for opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3564" LastEditorUserId="3122" LastEditDate="2012-12-18T07:53:52.330" LastActivityDate="2021-08-13T05:54:32.620" Title="teenage child with severe daily temper tantrums and whining" Tags="|behavior|teen|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2012-12-17T23:45:40.730" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say you've given up on doctors because the first one you spoke to was useless - I have found most doctors to be useless but eventually you find one who has an idea. My son saw probably 6 GPs before one noticed that his tonsils were so oversized that he could not breath properly. Try another doctor, then another until you find a good one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You stated this is a year dot problem but has gotten worse. An obvious question would be: has she reached pubity yet?  The hormone rush from that could certainly set her off. I'm not sure if this would be a constant thing or cyclic since I'm neither female nor a doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have not mentioned your daughter's take on this. Have a talk with her (at a calm time) and ask her to describe what she feels during these tantrums. At 13, she should be self-aware enough to know what she is doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-12-17T23:45:40.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2012-12-18T00:51:48.850" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might want to find a psychiatrist, rather than a straight general practitioner.  They will be better equipped to determine if there's a chemical problem, an interaction issue, both, neither, etc.  It sounds like you have about ten years of an established cycle of behavior that will be hard to break, and I'm not sure it can be solved as easily as a few paragraphs here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2423" LastActivityDate="2012-12-18T00:51:48.850" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2012-12-18T12:03:30.580" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the end, after spending hours checking each and every baby-related store in the area I've found a cheap no-name booster that fits between the infant carrier and the children carseat (it's 5cm narrower than every other booster I've seen).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also had to connect the carseat with the seatbelt and not the ISOFIX hooks for everything to fit in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2418" LastActivityDate="2012-12-18T12:03:30.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6903" CreationDate="2012-12-18T13:50:16.437" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What I did, inspired in a proffesional photographer's idea (I can't find it right now, but it's on internet): I grabbed my Reflex camera and started shooting photos in burst mode while my couple told them the new. The changes in their faces from stranged/worried to ultra happines is priceless. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did it with all our relatives and friends. Now I'm making an album with the before/after pictures, so when my kid will grow up will see how happy got the people who are important for him/her when they first knew of her/him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My sibling gave the news on Christmas season: hanged the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_test&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;pregnancy test&lt;/a&gt; from the christmas tree with a big red bow (so it would be noticeable).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On Christmas day, when all the family came to the house, &quot;saw&quot; the news.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3428" LastActivityDate="2012-12-18T13:50:16.437" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6944" CreationDate="2012-12-18T14:27:40.383" Score="15" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Why Short Naps Happen&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Inability to Handle Partial Wakings&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is waking up after reaching the light sleep portion of a sleep cycle.  If your 4 month old learns to fall asleep independently through some form of sleep training - the level of crying sleep training needs to involve can be up to your family - then it may solve this problem.  The drive to sleep is much less during the day so it is more difficult for infants who do not fall asleep on their own to make it through a sleep cycle transition.  These infants have a partial waking and realize the conditions under which they fell asleep (nursing to sleep, bottle to sleep, pacifier, being held, whatever it is) are not present and then they fully wake up.  Richard Ferber's &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/0743201639&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; has an excellent description of this issue.  So one thing that will help consistently fix a short nap &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; parental intervention is fostering independent sleep at the start of the nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Overtired/Undertired Loop&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another reason a short nap might happen is that your child can get stuck in an overtired/undertired loop.  You indicate that your child is awake for 1.5 hours between naps and taking 4-5 naps a day.  This is most likely an age-inappropriate schedule for a 4 month old, as I learned the hard way.  You need to be moving to a solid 3 naps a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is quite likely happening right now is that your child is not awake long enough to get &lt;em&gt;quite&lt;/em&gt; tired enough to make it through the sleep cycle transition.  In turn your child has a short nap and is overtired from not getting the full benefit of a longer nap, so your child exhibits drowsy signs earlier than a child who is well-rested.  It can become something of a trap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your child sleeps an age-appropriate long stretch at night your child is probably capable of more time awake during the day.  You might want to look at sticking with 1.5 hours awake before the first nap, since babies often like the shortest awake period in the morning, but then stretch the awake time by 15 minutes or so more between each nap.  So you'd do something like 1.75 hours before nap #2, 2 hours before nap #3, and even up to 2.25 before bedtime, although your child may need slightly less.  I would gradually begin stretching time awake to see if it lengthens naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This advice is specific to the schedule mentioned above.  For many children short naps are a sign of being kept up &lt;strong&gt;too long&lt;/strong&gt; before naps causing overtiredness, but the above schedule is at least on the border of being too short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Not Enough Sleep Left For Naps&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young babies can't handle very long awake at a time and therefore need to take a few naps.  However if a young baby is well-rested at night there may not be a whole lot of sleep left for long daytime naps.  Older babies who can stay awake longer during the day and therefore have fewer naps have more consolidated nap sleep, which tends to mean longer naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Other Ideas&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babywisemom.com/2009/12/naps-troubleshooting-revised-and.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This website&lt;/a&gt; has a whole long list of other ideas, such as too much or too little stimulation, environmental factors, hunger, and so on for early wake-ups.  In general a good search for &amp;quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=45+minute+nap+intruder&amp;amp;ie=utf-8&amp;amp;oe=utf-8&amp;amp;aq=t&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;amp;client=firefox-a&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;45 minute nap intruder&lt;/a&gt;&amp;quot; will get you a ton of hits on this issue with varying possible causes.  None of the things I could find online like stimulation issues helped my infant, but yours may be helped by them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Additional Possible Courses of Action&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Nap Extensions&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several other things besides fostering independent sleep you can try.  First, try to conduct a nap extension.  A nap extension is using any means that you are comfortable with that works for your baby to lengthen the nap.  Possible options are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allow some crying - &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/0345486455&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; recommendeds up to 20 minutes at this age, I believe - to see if the child will return to sleep independently.  This is obviously not a good fit for all parenting styles.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child uses a pacifier to fall asleep, be in place just before the end of the sleep cycle and replace it just as your child stirs.  Or be in place to recreate, in general, however your child falls asleep if it is not independently just at the end of that sleep cycle.  This is the method recommended in &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/007159695X&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The No-Cry Nap Solution&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;.  It worked all of once for my child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child falls asleep nursing or with a bottle, when the child wakes be prepared to feed back to sleep.  Keep the child with you for the duration of light sleep (15-20 minutes) before returning to a sleeping location.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Since you used to hold your child for naps, hold until asleep again after a wake-up plus the duration of light sleep, then return to the child's sleeping location.  This consistently worked for my short napper who was also held to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can also try placing a &amp;quot;heavy hand&amp;quot; on your child through the full light sleep cycle transition of 20 minutes.  Be in place 5 minutes before your child usually wakes up (25 minutes for your sometimes-30-minute napper) and place your hand on your child's chest in a reassuringly firm manner.  Keep your hand there as your child stirs throughout light sleep until the child returns to deep sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your 4 month old often starts awake by kicking or jerking, you can keep your child from jerking though the light sleep cycle.  For example my infant used to kick herself awake.  I would try, and occasionally succeed, to keep my hand over her legs to muffle her kicks.  This kept her from waking up during light sleep.  A product like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.magicsleepsuit.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Baby Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit&lt;/a&gt; purports to do the same thing.  This method is mentioned in &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/0345479092&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Secrets of the Baby Whisperer&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By conducting a nap extension you may help teach your child to learn to sleep longer for naps and you may find naps naturally lengthen on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Wake-To-Sleep&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents have luck with another method from &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/0345479092&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Secrets of the Baby Whisperer&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; known as wake-to-sleep.  You enter your child's room at 25 minutes, or 5 minutes before the usual wake-up time.  You gently stroke your child's cheek or do the minimum to get your child to lightly stir.  The book claims that this restarts your child's sleep cycle.  Over time it may teach your child to make the sleep cycle transition on his or her own, especially if your child learns to fall asleep independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Sometimes None of This Works&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The author of &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/0345486455&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, Dr. Marc Weissbluth, &lt;a href=&quot;http://drmarcweissbluth.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/nap-facts-4-6-months/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;mentions&lt;/a&gt; that between 4 and 6 months of age some babies don't nap well during the day.  Many parents who have been in your place will agree.  However the good news is that &lt;a href=&quot;http://drmarcweissbluth.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/brief-naps-good-news/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;nap length evens out&lt;/a&gt; as babies age.  Most short nappers begin to nap longer once they take 2 naps consistently, which appears to happen between 5 and 8 months of age.  For some babies the transition to 2 naps occurs because naps naturally lengthen.  For others the time awake begins to lengthen.  For yet others night sleep becomes disturbed by extra wake-ups or an early wake-up in the morning indicating the time for a schedule change has come.  However it occurs, when the transition to 2 naps occurs many formerly short nappers begin napping at least an hour for each nap.  For a few babies naps do not lengthen until the transition to 1 nap and some babies simply only need a 30-45 minute nap and will never have long naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-12-18T15:32:22.340" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5002" CreationDate="2012-12-18T16:17:36.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main risk is that when you post, you are aware of the present context and can't link it to the future-- because the future doesn't exist yet.  But computers can. Computer software can link a person's identity, the image of their face or name to every concept (website, blogpost tag, other people, ideas they express, actions they take, etc) they are seen with past or present. Facial recognition software can link all the pictures of a person to each other, and to the concepts they are linked to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Computers are great at search, and great at storing links between information. Computers can make concept webs that link ideas, faces, names. Here's one example of a man who realized the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=&amp;amp;esrc=s&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=1&amp;amp;cad=rja&amp;amp;ved=0CDgQFjAA&amp;amp;url=http://www.ted.com/talks/malte_spitz_your_phone_company_is_watching.html&amp;amp;ei=QJTQUNuOBYnVigKItYGwCA&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNHOuwW8aGBxNODXa6ZXwW9BszqOBA&amp;amp;bvm=bv.1355534169,d.cGE&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;story of his life could be drawn with pure data&lt;/a&gt; he wasn't trying to tell his story with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you are careful to never post your picture with your name, if one of your friends does once, the pictures can be linked with the names. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in summary, the risk is that you're telling a story that you can't see as you tell it. You're creating connections that allow agencies access to information that you or your child may not want them to have in the future. The fine print about the sites' &quot;privacy&quot; policy also changes over time. Even so, most sites maintain the right to share your data with agencies that your (future) child may not consent to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes the risks hard to see, because we can't see the links between the data. But your child's future employers, partners, friends, and coworkers may have access to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-18T16:17:36.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6975" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6984" CreationDate="2012-12-18T17:23:02.483" Score="5" ViewCount="351" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are receiving new guests over the holidays. My brother has a new girlfriend who has two children.  Her youngest, an 8-year-old boy, has &quot;mild autism.&quot; I am not absolutely sure what that covers, and unfortunately I haven't had much time to really discuss it directly with her. I would like to be sensitive to his needs when he comes to visit, but I am having difficulty finding resources that directly address how to help a child with autism adjust to a new environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, I was thinking that providing a calm, quiet area or room (and letting him know that he can retreat there whenever he wants to) would help him feel more comfortable, but I am concerned that he might feel isolated by this gesture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone had experience with this kind of visit before? Would creating this kind of space be helpful, or only make things more complicated?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2012-12-19T17:01:56.193" Title="Receiving a new visitor who has autism" Tags="|travel|autism|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2012-12-18T21:17:12.880" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;With poop, I change it as soon as I notice, although I wouldn't halt what I'm doing to get on it. But really, I wouldn't want to sit in my own feces, so I figure my little baby doesn't either. Pee is an entirely different story.  She never poops at night so I never change her diaper at night. It completely wakes her up. I just slather on the cream before bed to protect her skin. During the day, I change her diaper when I realize, oh hey, this could use a change. My daughter never complains about it, so normally I just notice the bulge and know it's time. She's 4 1/2 months old, btw. When she was a newborn she pooped waaaay more often so I went through a ton of diapers and did change her throughout the night. She's also a girl and so I want to get the poop out of there quickly so it doesn't get into her vagina which is a pain to clean and can cause a UTI. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short answer (in my opinion)- poop, as soon as possible...pee, not as quickly unless your baby is sensitive to a wet diaper. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-18T21:17:12.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6975" CreationDate="2012-12-18T23:27:43.337" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As DA01 mentions in his comments, autism is a gigantic spectrum.  Strategies for how to deal with it vary widely - the person who could best answer this question would likely be the child's mother.  It may be an uncomfortable question, but it's likely one that the child's mother is familiar with answering by now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're worried about coming across as unwelcoming, try phrasing it something like &lt;em&gt;&quot;Is there anything I can do to help you and your child more be comfortable while you're here?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, and not refer to it as &quot;special needs&quot; or a disability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An alternative is to broach the subject through your brother, as he may be able to answer a few questions, or at least will be able to ask his girlfriend.  If you're going to be hosting them for the holidays, the subject is going to come up at some point, and it's something you'd rather be prepared for than discover at the last minute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-12-18T23:27:43.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6980" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6981" CreationDate="2012-12-19T02:16:09.933" Score="5" ViewCount="2620" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some ways to stop a 20 year old boy from smoking? We know that smoking is bad and cause all sort of cancers (such as lung / heart / throat cancer), are there ways to stop or discourage the boy from smoking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My colleague's son saw his grandfather smoking and wanted to follow in his footstep, even though my colleague and her spouse do not smoke. My colleague even scolded her father for smoking in front of her grandson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any solutions to this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2137" LastEditorUserId="3495" LastEditDate="2012-12-19T15:58:54.773" LastActivityDate="2022-05-11T03:39:53.753" Title="What should my collgeaue do to stop her 20 year old son from smoking?" Tags="|behavior|health|adult-child|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6980" CreationDate="2012-12-19T08:19:06.477" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The younger the child is, the more impact you'll be able to have.  A 10-year-old could be more heavily influenced by his parents, while a 20-year-old may already consider himself an adult capable of making his own decisions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important that he understands the dangers of his behavior - this discussion needs to happen, and it might have the most impact if his grandfather (the perceived source of his desire) plays a large role in this discussion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second page of &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/smoking.html#&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; provides some good prevention tips such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discuss it in a way that doesn't make kids fear punishment or judgment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask what kids find appealing — or unappealing — about smoking. Be a patient listener.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage kids to get involved in activities that prohibit smoking, such as sports.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain how much smoking governs the daily life of kids who start doing it. How do they afford the cigarettes? How do they have money to pay for other things they want? How does it affect their friendships?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Establish firm rules that exclude smoking and chewing tobacco from your house and explain why&lt;/strong&gt;: Smokers smell bad, look bad, and feel bad, and it's bad for everyone's health.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've specifically highlighted the last one, as it's something that can apply to any age, and at least keeps the parents house a smoke free environment, even if he decides to continue smoking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastEditorUserId="3122" LastEditDate="2012-12-19T16:11:15.110" LastActivityDate="2012-12-19T16:11:15.110" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6980" CreationDate="2012-12-19T15:57:55.877" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a person is 20 years old, in most places, they are considered an adult and can make their own decisions. Parenting adults is a challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Check local public health resources. In the US, there are state funded resources, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tobaccofreeca.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.tobaccofreeca.org/&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nobutts.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nobutts.org/&lt;/a&gt; or call 1-800-NO-BUTTS&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage the person to talk to their doctor. Doctors have all sorts of resources, and patients whose doctors recommended quitting are more likely to quit.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Set boundaries. Your colleague can have rules such as no smoking or second or &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/third-hand-smoke/AN01985&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;third hand smoke&lt;/a&gt; in their house, cars.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be aware and willing to help as her son goes through the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical_model&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;stages of change&lt;/a&gt;: precontemplative, contemplative, preparation, action, and maintenance.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastEditorUserId="3495" LastEditDate="2012-12-20T17:24:57.637" LastActivityDate="2012-12-20T17:24:57.637" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2012-12-20T17:24:57.637" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6983" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-19T16:30:32.250" Score="13" ViewCount="7200" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He plays hockey, which he loves.  I stopped letting him play for his teams when his report card came back with bad grades due to his lack of homework.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him that if he improved his grades and did his homework by his next progress report (2 weeks) he could play again.  He has improved his homework effort but has not done all of it, even knowing that he will not be allowed to play.  He pulled up most of his grades, so I allowed him to play again just this week, and then found out he has 10 zero's in math for homework (that was not on the progress report).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, last night I looked at the sleeve of his $55 Under Armour Sweatshirt and saw that he drew on almost the whole thing with a sharpie marker.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I losing my mind or is he regressing to a toddler?  Nothing works as a punishment for this kid.  He has lost Xbox, his TV, his phone, hockey etc. Nothing phases him.  He cares for a moment then seems to have the whatever attitude.  Not sure what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3575" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2012-12-19T16:49:12.377" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T03:01:02.627" Title="My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! Is this normal?" Tags="|behavior|teen|pre-teen|discipline|homework|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6975" CreationDate="2012-12-19T17:01:56.193" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has cerebral palsy, not autism, but the general principles are the same in this circumstance.  We don't expect anyone to know what our daughter needs.  Her needs are complex and unique.  If we hosted another family with a child with CP in our house, we would ask the parents what they needed.  Children who happen to share the same disorder have a lot of similarities, yes, but they are as different from each other as all other children are different from each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most annoying thing when we stay at someone else's house is when they make assumptions without asking us.  For example, our daughter can't walk, but can crawl, so people have made the assumption before that it's safer for her to crawl inside their house rather than risk her bumping into their stuff with her wheelchair.  Wrong.  It's painful, slow, dirty, and undignified for someone her age, even though it was perfectly fine when she was smaller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So by all means provide them a safe and private area to use as they need, but don't make assumptions like &quot;this is where he will go to calm down.&quot;  If in doubt, just ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you are likely to be pleasantly surprised, though.  In general, children with special needs are a lot more scary in theory than practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-12-19T17:01:56.193" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6980" CreationDate="2012-12-19T17:17:10.100" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Really, there's nothing your colleague can do. If her son wants to smoke, he'll smoke.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3494" LastActivityDate="2012-12-19T17:17:10.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6983" CreationDate="2012-12-19T17:24:45.440" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like fairly common behavior for a boy that age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, it sounds an awful lot like me at around 13-14.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may just be that he is testing boundaries, or it may be that he genuinely has an issue with doing his homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step I'd suggest is finding out &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he hasn't been doing his homework.  Is he bored?  Is it too tough?  Does he feel he doesn't have enough time to do it?  Or does he just &quot;not feel like it&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to work to alleviate his reasons.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is too tough, talk about what options he has (tutoring, talking with the teacher, switching class tracks if necessary/possible, etc.).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't have time, work with him to create a schedule for his week.  This will help identify what activities may be taking up too much of his time, and help teach him some valuable time management skills.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's bored, you can look at ways at supplementing the assignments, either by working with the teacher, establishing your own criteria (i.e. add a research paper on some aspect of the topic that your son finds interesting), or looking for outside resources.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/210/420&quot;&gt;This answer from another question&lt;/a&gt; provides some good advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, finding out why he isn't doing the homework is only the first step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should absolutely keep up with the restrictions you've already put in place (loss of hockey privileges, other recreation, etc.) until he shows an appropriate level of improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he's shown &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; improvement, and you shouldn't underestimate that.  You don't indicate whether the 10 zeros in math were from before or after you reinstated hockey privileges, but if they were from before, I'd consider letting him play unless he misses more assignments after he starts back up.  It would be a bit harsh and discouraging to earn back his privileges by putting effort into doing better (which it sounds like he has), only to lose it because of old mistakes catching up to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, I suggest setting concrete guidelines for what is required from him in order to regain each privilege he lost.  Its too vague to say something like &quot;when your grades get better&quot;, or even &quot;when you stop missing your assignments&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be very concrete.  Set rules such as &quot;if you complete 100% of your assignments for all classes for the next two weeks, you can start playing hockey again.  After that, if you miss more than one assignment in a week for any given class, you'll lose it again.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are certain classes he's struggling with, you may set goals/rules that account for that.  Perhaps he gets some leniency in the classes he's doing well in, provided he puts extra effort into the classes he's having a hard time with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also want to make sure you communicate clearly and frequently with him.  Be proactive.  Ask what his assignments are.  Talk to him about what times he plans on working on his assignment, and respect those times (perhaps bring him a snack while he's working to show support).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for drawing on his clothes, well... I wouldn't read too much into it.  I remember that lots of kids in my school drew on their clothes, myself included.  All I suggest doing is be very strict in that you won't buy him new clothes just because he decided that he didn't like how the drawings turned out.  Being short on clothes, or forced to wear something that has been &quot;decorated&quot; in a way that he no longer likes, will drive home that lesson pretty quickly.  Of course, if he legitimately outgrows the clothes, then they can be replaced as normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2012-12-19T17:24:45.440" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6980" CreationDate="2012-12-19T17:57:37.400" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 20, its going to be difficult.  He's got the independence and rights of adult, although few 20 year olds have the wisdom to use that responsibly (I know I didn't!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realistically, you can't expect to convince a 20 year old to stop doing something they've decided to do.  I think the best you can work towards is making sure he knows all of the downsides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've already mentioned the health aspect, and that's certainly huge, but in my experience, most 20 year olds operate under the assumption that they are effectively immortal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other effects of smoking that he may not have fully considered, and may strike a little bit closer to what he considers near and dear, are financial and social problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point out just how much money he'll spend on cigarettes over the course of a year.  Many smokers find themselves smoking a pack a day, or more, and this adds up to some staggering amounts invested over time.  If your colleague's father smokes a lot, you could find out how much he spends a year, and multiply that by however many years he's been smoking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other aspect to point out is social.  This is a bit of a double-edged sword, because peer pressure is the biggest reason most people start smoking, so it may be that everyone he hangs out with smokes.  However, I've never met a smoker who objected to my &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; smoking, even when I was trying to quit.  More importantly, though, smoking is a &lt;strong&gt;big&lt;/strong&gt; turn-off for many people, and if he finds out that potential romantic interests may immediately blow him off because they don't want to &quot;kiss an ashtray&quot;, it may help put things in perspective.  Mouthwash only helps so much; there are quite a few non-smokers out there who simply have no interest in long-term relationships with someone who has to gargle before makeout sessions in order to not smell/taste offensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-12-19T17:57:37.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6988" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6990" CreationDate="2012-12-19T22:26:52.850" Score="13" ViewCount="845" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you introduce young children from a previous relationship to the idea that you are becoming seriously involved with a new person? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am dating a woman with two little girls, 2 and 4 years old. She separated within the last year and hasn't really dated anyone seriously since the father. She has the kids 90% of the time and the father doesn't even get them over night. Because of this I pretty much am around them non stop. They are great, but I am very self-conscious about showing any physical affection towards their mother when they are around. The general consensus that we have come to is that we just didnt want to confuse them, but since we are together so much, it is just becoming awkward to avoid physical affections. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to help my girlfriend with this because lately, as of this holiday season, we have become very serious, but we have been going out of our way to hide any physical affection from the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3579" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-20T09:50:32.447" LastActivityDate="2015-12-20T09:50:32.447" Title="Physical affection around young children from previous relationship" Tags="|pre-schooler|relationships|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6989" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6991" CreationDate="2012-12-19T22:41:02.970" Score="4" ViewCount="51430" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old has been really gassy lately, and has gotten the bad habit of farting loudly while laughing about it. After more than a few funny but embarrassing moments, we tried to tell her how it was unladylike and she shouldn't do it so loudly and jokingly around people. Well, now she says she is uncomfortable all the time because she is holding it in and we feel bad. Is this anything to even worry about at all, or is there any good advice out there for dealing with a gassy child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3579" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-27T12:30:50.537" LastActivityDate="2019-08-27T12:30:50.537" Title="How to deal with a 4-year-old passing gas all the time?" Tags="|pre-schooler|health|habits|gas|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="6990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6988" CreationDate="2012-12-19T23:32:10.550" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the kids are that young, they're not likely to understand enough of the &quot;rules&quot; around showing affection to be confused.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is coming from the dual experience of being the child in that situation, and from being around while a friend of mine (with two kids around the same age) split from her husband to start dating again.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the second case, the only thing the kids occasionally got confused about what to call the new adult in their lives (&quot;Dad&quot;, or the person's name, or something else) - this is a personal preference though, and would just be something you and your girlfriend (and possibly the girls' birth father) will want to agree on.  At this young age, it's easily enforced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-12-19T23:32:10.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6989" CreationDate="2012-12-20T00:39:27.583" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old son has recently discovered the joys of farting, though we haven't had any embarrassing farting scenes in public yet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no middle-ground for 4-year-olds.  It's sort of an all or nothing kind of thing which means either she's going to hold it in or it's probably going to be loud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be worth it to try teaching her to excuse herself to go to the restroom if she needs to pass gas.  Of course, if she's exceptionally gassy, this could lead to multiple trips to the bathroom and curious looks from friends and acquaintances if you're out with a group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If her gas is really that bad, then it might be worth investigating the cause of the gas.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rightdiagnosis.com/symptoms/gas_in_children/common.htm&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; site lists the most common causes of gassiness in children.  The most common cause is lactose intolerance, but carbonated drinks, IBS, and Crohn's disease are also other (much less common) causes.  Or it might be linked to certain &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everydayhealth.com/digestive-health/foods-that-cause-excessive-gas.aspx&quot;&gt;foods&lt;/a&gt; she eats.  The most common offenders for gassiness are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;milk and dairy products&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;starchy foods like potatoes and pasta&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;wheat and oat bran&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;foods sweetened with artificial sweeteners&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bananas, peaches, apricots, pears, and raw apples&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;raisins and melons&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;prunes and prune juice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;colas and fruit drinks sweetened with fructose&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;beans and lentils&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;onions, green peppers, shallots, and scallions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, and peas&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;corn, celery, artichokes, asparagus, and carrots&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might not get gassy from all of these foods.  Also remember that swallowing too much air when eating can cause gassiness, so making sure that she's taking her time while she eats and chews her food thoroughly might be somewhat helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-12-20T00:39:27.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6989" CreationDate="2012-12-20T01:11:03.770" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe most kids around that age (ours included) think farts are a joy to be shared with everyone.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing we've focused on so far is that &quot;farting is normal&quot;, and to make sure to say &quot;excuse me&quot; afterwards.  Generally, the amount of laughter and attention he gives to it relates to how much laughter and attention we, his parents, have recently given it.  The excitement and embarrassment around it seems to gradually go away as long as we keep our own reactions in check.  We usually just have to remind him once in a while with a quiet &lt;em&gt;&quot;what do you say?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; after we hear him pass gas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-12-20T01:11:03.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6988" CreationDate="2012-12-20T15:40:51.307" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should be aware that shying away from any physical affection &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; be noticed by the children, and while they may not understand it, they will take something away from it. This may make them less comfortable of physical affection in the future, it may make them register that you are always uncomfortable - which could make them less comfortable around you, or it may have other effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, you should discuss it with your girlfriend, and probably start with simple affection - hand holding, an arm around each other when you are sitting on the couch, a cuddle which &lt;strong&gt;includes&lt;/strong&gt; the children - all these things are very positive signs of affection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-12-20T15:40:51.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6996" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="6998" CreationDate="2012-12-20T18:26:35.913" Score="7" ViewCount="399" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend and I just got pregnant, she is eight weeks in. I have been reading a lot about cloth diapering, and I was wondering if it is too early to start thinking about this. Here are my questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I start with disposables at birth, then move to cloth when they get bigger?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I start with cloth right from birth? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How difficult is it to use at birth?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really I am just looking for advice on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3581" LastEditorUserId="3356" LastEditDate="2012-12-21T13:25:13.217" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T02:59:46.463" Title="How early should I start thinking about cloth diapers?" Tags="|newborn|pregnancy|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6996" CreationDate="2012-12-20T19:57:29.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a little early to worry about this, you have a long way to go... but there are a lot of questions to answer. One issue you might run into is whether you plan to put your child in daycare later. If you do, most won't use cloth diapers. There's a fairly large up front expense and a lot of different options for covers that you may want to look into. What's your washing machine situation like? Is there a diaper service in your area? Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the mechanics of diapering, they don't get easier to deal with as your baby grows! If you have the right size of diaper and cover you won't have a problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2012-12-20T19:57:29.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6996" CreationDate="2012-12-20T20:07:28.133" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having used both types of diapers with our kids, I found there are advantages and disadvantages to each.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Where cloth diapers have the advantage&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cloth diapers are touted as more environmentally friendly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cloth is often cheaper in the long run&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cloth is said to lead to easier eventual potty training (several cloth diaper delivery services such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.happynappy.ca/&quot;&gt;Happy Nappy&lt;/a&gt; &quot;guarantee&quot; this by offering free service if your child isn't potty trained by 2 and a half years of using their diapers)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As per above point, services exist that will manage pickup/delivery/cleaning of cloth diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Where disposables have the advantage&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cloth diapers tend to be bulkier than disposables - this is mainly an issue for trips when you have to take several diapers (and bags to store soiled ones) with you. Disposable diapers can just be tossed in the garbage after they're soiled instead of taking them with you to clean later&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disposable diapers tend to have a universal &quot;look and feel&quot; that even non-parents pick up on quickly - depending on the type of cloth diaper, it may have several more snaps/clicks that confuse babysitters/etc (though again, this depends on the brand of cloth diapers)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disposable diapers have an absorbent gel built in to help keep skin dry, so it's less of an issue to change a urine-soiled disposable diaper right away vs a cloth diaper which will stay wet against the baby's skin&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that there's no &quot;right&quot; or &quot;wrong&quot; answer, but which advantages are most important to you (or which has the least disadvantages):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Should I start with disposables at birth, then move to cloth when they get bigger? Should I start with cloth right from birth? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our first child, we used the disposables the hospital gave us, then used a cloth diaper delivery service for a while.  Our main incentive was to reduce the cost, which they did (we kept track of how many diapers we went through, and what it would have cost in disposables).  However, we switched to disposables when we started travelling a bit more and found taking the cloth diapers everywhere was too cumbersome.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were also a bit less stressed after switching to disposables because the extra absorbency meant it wasn't a major issue to change a urine-soiled diaper as immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How difficult is it to use at birth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we were new parents, we found cloth slightly more difficult at first, but that's mostly due to the newness of it all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I guess overall it's not really a choice where one style is any &quot;easier&quot; or &quot;harder&quot; based on the child's age, but one where it has to fit in with your lifestyle.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2012-12-20T20:07:28.133" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="6999" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7000" CreationDate="2012-12-21T01:36:35.627" Score="28" ViewCount="5873" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 18-months-old and he is in a daycare room with kids 16-months to 2.5 years.  Most days when I pick him up they are watching TV.  The shows range from somewhat educational (Dora, Sesame St.) to pure entertainment (Horton Hears a Who).  I am not sure how much time is devoted to TV but since I pick him up at 4 and the daycare doesn't close until 6, I don't think it is just a few minutes while all the parents are showing up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I intend to talk with the director about it because it concerns me but before I do, I wanted to get a sense of how reasonable it is for a daycare to be doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it appropriate for a daycare to show TV to toddlers?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-28T03:38:35.933" LastActivityDate="2020-08-28T03:38:35.933" Title="Is it reasonable/common for a daycare to show TV shows during the day?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|television|screen-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6999" CreationDate="2012-12-21T03:35:29.717" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds totally inappropriate and a major warning flag. Both my children have been through numerous childcare centres/kindergartens/ELCs and none of them even had a television.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics have &quot;that parents should limit the amount of time their infants and toddlers spend in front of any sort of screen and reaffirmed earlier research showing that there’s really no such thing as educational TV or software for very young children.&quot; according to this &lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/20/the-real-problem-with-toddlers-and-tv/&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2012-12-21T03:35:29.717" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6996" CreationDate="2012-12-21T11:23:47.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use cloth diapers for our son and mostly it's been a positive experience. Chris has outlined nicely the positives and negatives of cloth and disposable in his answer so I just want to add some advice if you do decide to use cloth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were given as a gift a sample of different cloth diapers from a many several manufacturers. I think there were about 10 all together each with a different style or feature. This allowed us to figure out what worked well for us and our son (and what didn't!). Some leaked more often, some were difficult to put on, some were easier to clean, etc. I think what works varies a lot between families (and maybe even within families between children!) so being able to see which diapers our son and us liked best by actually trying them out was really great. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's tempting to go to the store and buy the diapers you think will be the ones you want, but until you've actually put it into practice, it will be difficult to know exactly what you want. I'd recommend trying at least a couple types of pocket diapers, a couple types of all-in-ones, a couple types of pre-folds, etc before committing to buying a whole set. As pilosodad mentions in his response, you still have a lot of time to think about it! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3356" LastActivityDate="2012-12-21T11:23:47.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6999" CreationDate="2012-12-21T16:42:33.787" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a professional, dedicated daycare, it is absolutely inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For in-home daycares, though, it may be difficult to avoid.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Dave mentioned in his answer, the clear recommendation is that there should be no television exposure before the age of two, and after that the amount of television exposure, if any, should be heavily restricted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, most people do not seem to follow this.  It is very common (at least in my experience) for people to sit infants and toddlers in front of a television to quiet them down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can potentially put you in the minority when dealing with private in-home daycare options, particularly if there is a mixed age range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our current in-home daycare, which is fully licensed, is a small group of mixed-age children spending the day in the provider's home.  They do have a television which is usually running children's shows or movies in the background throughout the day.  I was not happy when I found that out, but literally the only other option open to us at the time was a religious daycare offered by a faith I do not personally subscribe to.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over a year later, we're still with the same daycare, and I've been relieved to find that the television has not become a problem.  When I pick my son up, he isn't glued to the television.  When I drop him off, he doesn't run to watch the TV.  Instead, he plays with the other children, and largely ignores the TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's still not ideal, and again, I would absolutely expect that any dedicated daycare or preschool &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; make a TV even an option.  However, if you do find a highly recommended in-home practice, there is a decent chance that a TV will be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-12-21T16:42:33.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7004" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7005" CreationDate="2012-12-21T18:10:00.273" Score="11" ViewCount="612" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-year-old son is getting a lot of presents this Christmas.  Quite a few of these presents are from friends of my wife, who've never actually met my son, or from relatives of mine that live out of state, and whom my son has not yet been introduced to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want him to appreciate that &lt;em&gt;idea&lt;/em&gt; of a gift, more than just &quot;here's a bunch of new toys to play with&quot;.  Part of that is, to me, understanding that the person who gave you the gift cares about you, and wants you to be happy, and therefore thought of you to send a gift.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet it seems problematic to say &quot;such-and-such that you've never met, and who has never met you, cares about you and wants you to be happy&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best approach to receiving gifts from people like this in such a way as to emphasize the value of the &lt;em&gt;act&lt;/em&gt; of giving, over simply receiving presents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-01-04T08:37:42.950" Title="My son is getting presents from people he's never met; how do we teach him to appreciate the sentiment behind the gifts?" Tags="|toddler|holidays|presents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7004" CreationDate="2012-12-22T04:19:46.970" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have him be with you when you write the thank you notes. Help him draw a picture or sign his name to the card, so that he can take part. That way he's giving back a little. There is joy in the giving that he may relate to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also good to help him understand who the people are who care about him. Some parents have a tradition with their children where each night, they naming the people they love and the people who love them. This can help kids understand the value of feelings and relationships, separate from the playtime of the gifts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll learn how to appreciate the sentiment behind the gifts based on your reactions. If he sees your appreciation of sentiment, likely he'll echo it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-22T04:19:46.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7007" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-23T18:36:10.073" Score="7" ViewCount="43027" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3.5-year-old son recently started sucking his fingers and sometimes his clothing. When I point it out to him he takes his fingers out of his mouth, but they are soon back in. I can't think of anything that has changed in his life that would make him start doing this. How can I get him to stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="849" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-23T13:22:56.710" LastActivityDate="2019-08-23T13:22:56.710" Title="How can I get my 3.5-year-old to stop sucking his fingers?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|habits|mouthing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7008" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7147" CreationDate="2012-12-24T01:30:47.343" Score="25" ViewCount="81067" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are preparing to negotiate with our families about visiting our first baby. We want to take some time to recover and feel like we have a comfortable routine before taking visitors. We had discussed waiting a month but our families have already expressed a lot of interest in coming sooner.  I'd love to hear about others' experience with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3588" LastActivityDate="2019-08-30T16:32:52.920" Title="What is a reasonable amount of time to wait before family visits your new baby?" Tags="|newborn|extended-family|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2012-12-24T07:03:25.613" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once mom and baby are settled (eg, through first nursing), we are happy to have very close people drop by the hospital.  Typically we will see Grandparents first day, maybe some aunts and uncles, and possibly very close friends.  Others come over the days and weeks that follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It really has to do with how close you are to people.  I am not a fan of doing things from obligation -- but rather doing it from relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to put yourself in their shoes and do what makes the most sense for both parties.  If this was your first grandchild, would you want to see him/her asap? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will caution you that a 1 month old is barely a baby compared to a 1 day old.  So if they mean anything to you from a family point of view, I would let them visit asap, but not be a burden on mom or baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Negotiate?  Seriously?  This is &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; family and &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; baby.  This is not their decision AT ALL.  You can be kind and thoughtful, or you can be unkind and disregard them, but either way, it is still your choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... figure out who you care about, and see what they would like, then let them know what makes sense to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3291" LastActivityDate="2012-12-24T07:03:25.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2012-12-24T10:03:36.077" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were delighted to have both sets of parents visit while in the hospital, but of much greater value was having them stay for two weeks each, giving us some much needed support in that first month while we were learning our way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your parents are an excellent resource to help make your lives easier, they can babysit, provide their experience, go to the shops or cook meals for you, or just generally be an extra couple of pairs of hands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-12-24T15:51:58.840" LastActivityDate="2012-12-24T15:51:58.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2012-12-24T11:38:07.717" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At first: congratulations and the best wishes for you and your newborn!&#xA;This is an exciting step and for sure a big change for your life as a couple/family!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What's your concern about the visit? What do you think might happen, that disturbs you or your new daily routine?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do your parents live far away and have a long journey, or could they &quot;just come over&quot; for some hours? - probably not...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd agree with gahoo, Rory alsop and the comment of DA01:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if there is no general problem with the relation between you and your parents, you should give them the choice to see the baby - at least for a short time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conditions are clear:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;YOU decide how long and what will happen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You do not have to be as hospitable as in other situations (this visit shall not make more work for you!),&lt;br&gt;&#xA;so you don't have to clean windows or prepare a great meal for your guests, but maybe your guests could cook something and bring it to you, so that you can have a meal together or you could find other ways how they can help you with the baby or the housework &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure the visit might break your fragile daily rhythm with the baby for some time, you can always remind the guests to be respect your wishes and do not disturb the baby when it is sleeping or in a bad mood..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;.. but if you wait for one months, the baby will not be the same as now, so give your parents a chance to see it as it was born, if there are no severe counter-arguments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2012-12-24T11:58:01.317" LastActivityDate="2012-12-24T11:58:01.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2012-12-24T14:11:20.977" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of factors that can play into this decision, so its hard to give a specific answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Delaying access to your relatives by more than a few days, or perhaps as much as a week, runs the risk of hurting their feelings, unless you give them specific reasons why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not to say there &lt;em&gt;aren't&lt;/em&gt; good, specific reasons to hold off on visitors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it is true that, as other posters have mentioned, having relatives over to lend a hand during the first couple of weeks can be a &lt;strong&gt;huge&lt;/strong&gt; help, it also has the potential to be the source of stress and conflict (depending upon your relationship with them), neither of which are worth risking when you should be focusing on bonding with, and learning how to care for and interact with, your first child (or any subsequent children, really).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another factor to consider is the birth itself.  Some women are able to get back to a normal routine very quickly after giving birth.  However, this is not something you should count on, as a difficult birth, c-section, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004481/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;postpartum depression&lt;/a&gt;, or simply the emotional and physical drain may make a reduction of interruptions and distractions particularly helpful to the mother (or the father!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are having your baby in a hospital, my suggestion would be that you offer to let your family visit in the hospital before discharge, if they can make it, and then scheduling a longer visit later, at a time to be decided after you get home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantages of having the visit in the hospital are that it is &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; easier to control the duration, while eliminating any frustration your relatives may have about having to wait.  You have the option of claiming exhaustion to clear them out when you want them to leave, or, if you are concerned about the personalities involved overstaying their welcome, you can ask the hospital staff ahead of time if they could impose a time-limit (i.e. ask them to come in 15 minutes, 30 minutes, etc. after your guests arrive and announce that the mother and baby need sleep, and that all visitors need to leave).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even a brief visit will usually tide people over, particularly if they know they'll get more time to spend with the baby in the near future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking to schedule the longer visit after you get home allows you to gauge just how you feel about company.  Maybe the thought of assistance, even for an hour or two, becomes much more attractive after a few days with your newborn.  Or maybe you quickly fall into a routine that where visits would be unpleasantly disruptive.  Either way, you will have more specific reasons that you can present to your relatives when scheduling the follow-up visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-12-24T14:11:20.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7007" CreationDate="2012-12-24T16:25:13.503" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is one of those common things that distraction is an excellent cure first, like thumb sucking, or sucking the corner of a blanket. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time you do spot it, help by encouraging him to do something else, like cuddle a favourite teddy bear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have known people to use something that tastes bad, but I think Tabasco that Chris mentioned is a bit harsh. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-12-24T16:25:13.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7014" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-24T16:30:53.210" Score="8" ViewCount="12247" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think he is just exploring rhythms and sounds but would like to learn more. My other theory is that it just gives great satisfaction to be able to  appear authoritative when he doesn't have a full answer, as he frequently rattles off beautifully rhythmic made up names in circumstances when he doesn't know the correct ones (eg talking about other children at the playground).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any assistance in understanding or pointing to further information sources would be gratefully received.  Its quite lovely, so I am not concerned, simply curious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3593" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T23:00:58.750" Title="Three year old with good speech, now sometimes making up own words, especially names." Tags="|development|language|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2012-12-26T05:20:36.317" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're having to describe this process as a &quot;negotiation&quot; then I get the impression that relations between your family and your parents/in-laws aren't always the most hospitable.  Perhaps I'm reading more into the word than was intended.  Are they the types of people who tend to over-stay their welcome?  Show up unannounced?  Have unreasonable expectations of you and your wife when they come to visit?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Before&lt;/strong&gt; you have these conversations with your families, make sure that your wife and yourself are absolutely on the same page, and agree that changes can be made after baby arrives if necessary.  Sure, it &lt;em&gt;sounds&lt;/em&gt; like a good idea to say &quot;No visitors until baby is 1 month old&quot; until you get to week three of no sleep.  Suddenly, having someone who could watch the baby for two hours so you can grab a cat-nap sounds like the best thing in the world.  And you can have different rules for different family members.  She might want her mom around more during the first few weeks than she wants your mom around.  Or vice versa. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As previous posters have pointed out, any &quot;routine&quot; you have within the first month is going to be tenuous at best on a good day, and the second month improves somewhat.  There will be days when baby sleeps most of the day and wakes only to eat and go right back to sleep and then is up most of the night.  There will be cluster feedings.  There will be days when baby is surprisingly alert during the day and sleeps pretty great at night.  And about the time you &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; you have a routine, something happens to disrupt it.  Parenting, in general, is all about having a general routine and then working around the disruptions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I guess it's more a question of whose routine you are more concerned about disrupting?  You will more easily fall into a routine than your child will, and, for the most part, that routine will revolve around responding to what your child needs when he/she needs it.  In this case, it doesn't matter who's present.  When baby needs to eat, he/she needs to eat.  Or have a diaper change.  Or sleep.  But the likelihood of a visitor disrupting a baby's non-existent schedule is slim in the first month to two months of life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barring any of the things I mentioned in the first paragraph (over-stayed welcome/unannounced visits/unreasonable expectations), and assuming that everything is going all right with feeding (I'm assuming your wife is going to try to breastfeed, if she isn't then that's a different situation), then sometimes it's easier to gird your loins and just get it over with quickly (like, within 2 weeks).  Certainly with the grandparents at least.  Just because you allow close family over does not mean you have to allow the whole neighborhood in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that, for the most part, these people care about you, are happy for you, and probably want to help you in whatever way they can.  Surround yourself with the caring, loving people and disregard the malicious ones as best you can.  &lt;em&gt;And&lt;/em&gt; remember:  &lt;em&gt;YOU&lt;/em&gt; are the parent.  &lt;em&gt;YOU&lt;/em&gt; call the shots.  If it's a bad day and you'd rather not have visitors, then don't accept visitors.  No rules are set in stone unless you make them so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-12-26T05:20:36.317" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1687" CreationDate="2012-12-26T06:26:30.313" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize this is an OLD question, but I wanted to add that babies with reflux can sometimes become &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; uncomfortable in carseats based on the angle of the seat.  My daughter had silent reflux and was pretty miserable in her infant carseat until we finally moved her up to a larger seat and she was able to sit more up-right.  I know many parents of children with reflux will tell you that putting their babies in their carseats helped wonders, but it isn't true for all children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2012-12-26T06:26:30.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5451" CreationDate="2012-12-26T08:21:18.990" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as they're getting enough sleep, and the schedule suits you, I wouldn't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our school-aged kids go to sleep long before the toddlers, just because they're worn out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It actually helps to let the toddlers find their own sleep routine, and makes bedtime a lot less stressful, and in the end they settle better in the long run having learn to quietly get themselves to sleep. It's a lesson well learnt for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other benefit to a later bedtime is a later morning start. With the hassles of early morning for the toddlers with the school kids, again, it's easier for them to sleep in a bit. That way the school kids get the attention they need in the morning, and afterwards the toddlers can have the attention they need throughout the day. As one of the comments says, most parents would love a child sleeping in til 9:30 - it's a blessing, not a curse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3595" LastActivityDate="2012-12-26T08:21:18.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2012-12-26T08:28:52.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best answer I've seen online for control kids internet usage, especially older kids ran something like the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell them that everything they have free access to the internet to research, play, and learn. However, What they look at will be tracked, and the logs reviewed. If they find something unsuitable, there will be an open frank discussion with both parents on why they feel it's necessary to view the material.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing scares a teenager more than being faces with questions from Mommy on why they googled something perverted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, for younger kids, we just limit they times they have any access, using it as a reward after homework and chores are complete. The computer they use is in the living room and facing the room with someone around to monitor it. The younger kids tend just to play education or flash games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the older ones I've used the built in time restrictions that the mac has to limit usage, otherwise they can get a bit obsessed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you can put limits on the network level to stop the teens using phones, iPad, and kindles late into the night. On school nights it cuts off earlier than the weekends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, below a certain age they have to give up their passwords so sites online (Facebook etc) can be monitored. No different to real life really. We know their friends and friends parents, no reason not to keep an overview on their online activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in everything they have a large amount of freedom - it's not about censorship so much as it's about keeping them on a good path and not wandering too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3595" LastActivityDate="2012-12-26T08:28:52.217" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="358" CreationDate="2012-12-26T08:38:10.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kids made it very obvious they wanted their own beds. The first at 3, the second before 18 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They got to the point of being fidgety and grumpy when in our bed, often kicking away to get their own space, and seeming irritated to be with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made a point to get them beds, letting them pick bedding, and praising attention around the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was then a gradual process to wean them into it - putting them down in their bed at night when tired, but not asleep. They have to learn to actually fall asleep in the bed. Breast-feeding, or otherwise just cuddling in the bed really helps them. It maintains the way they're used to falling asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they're asleep in the bed you can leave them all night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bedtime can be cut back slowly from lying with them to sitting with them to standing. Rather than cutting them off, it's best to reassure that you're always there and close. If they know you're available there is no need to cry out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment our 2-year-old will actually get herself into bed. If she's put into bed she just says good night, rolls over and goes to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, it comes down to removing the stress for the child, and making it a pleasant experience, with as much routine as possible. A bath with calm bubbles (lavender works wonders), warm milk, hugs, and tucking into bed with a story. Get a routine, same time, same habits, and then it sticks easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3595" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-14T14:58:28.957" LastActivityDate="2018-07-14T14:58:28.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2012-12-26T19:11:07.580" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short visits in the hospital or at your home from relatives who live nearby are rarely an issue, as long as they call ahead first.  I'll focus my remarks on either extended visits from far enough away that the visitors can't sleep at their own house, or when someone lives close but wants to visit for several hours a day to help out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, these kinds of visits are an annoying intrusion for the husband and a godsend for the wife.  Especially if she is breast-feeding, and therefore unable to hand off feeding duty to you, she will be constantly exhausted for at least a month.  Even if your wife has babysitting experience, she will find being responsible for a child 24/7 to require an almost completely different skill set.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter how prepared she feels now, your wife will want her mother's help and advice.  The second best people to help and advise your wife are her sisters who have children or your mother, depending on their relationship.  You will feel like your role as supporter is being supplanted, but you plain don't have the necessary experience yet.  My advice is to accept the help graciously and enjoy the extra rest.  You will have plenty of time after the visitors leave to bond with just the three of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first child was in the hospital for three months, so visits weren't much of an issue.  We adopted our second child when he was a year old, and no one really &lt;em&gt;asked&lt;/em&gt; to visit for some reason.  Our third child was kind of the first one we had to deal with visitors, and I think what we came up with worked pretty well for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother-in-law lives 1500 miles away.  While we were in the hospital, she stayed at our house and watched our other two kids.  After leaving the hospital, she stayed with us during the week, and  during the weekends went to stay with her other daughter who lives near us.  This arrangement gave a helper for my wife while I was at work, and helped me get enough sleep so I could actually make it to work, but then on weekends gave us a break from the stress of hosting visitors, and gave my mother-in-law time to relax and recharge.  We did this for a few weeks until my wife felt able to resume her normal duties with our other children during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother-in-law argued against that arrangement at first, but commented afterward that she thought it worked better than similar previous visits for my nieces and nephews where she felt like she was &quot;on duty&quot; nonstop.  My wife liked that she was never left alone when I had to work, and I liked that we had enough time with just us so I could feel like a real father.  Of course, we were already experienced parents at that point, but the other benefit was my wife was very confident about knowing when she was ready to do without her mother's help, because she had &quot;trial runs&quot; on the weekends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-12-26T19:11:07.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="427" CreationDate="2012-12-27T07:27:05.060" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3-year old boy and 1.5-year old girl, and a (overall friendly) cat.  As infants both kids were rough to the cat, with hair pulling and hitting, although each was different in &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; they did.  Once they could walk, then chasing the cat was a fun activity.  They have very little self control and get excited when the animal is around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each kid is different; the girl at 1.5 is a lot gentler with the cat than the boy was at the same age.  In fact, she's about as gentle as he is at 3!  I chalk that up to different natures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throughout this, we've done all the various things others have suggested, but I think the thing that helped most was just growing up and gaining maturity.  Now that the boy is 3, he takes pleasure in seeing her sit on his lap while he pets her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been a few cases where the cat didn't like something, and while we haven't had any scratches or bites (it's a very self-controlled cat), there were a few close calls.  Those gave us opportunities to teach the boy about the cats claws and teeth and how she protects herself.  He got (accidentally) poked by a claw once, and that seemed to wise him up quickly as to the consequences of scaring the cat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 3, the question of the day is always 'why?', so use it to your advantage.  Why do we have pets?  Why does the pet live here?  Why does it chase mice (or cats)?  etc. etc.  Sit with the child and observe the animal quietly, and explain what it's doing, and why.  And +1 to the other answer to role model how to handle the animal properly, and why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T07:27:05.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3142" CreationDate="2012-12-27T08:22:53.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We routinely &quot;rotate&quot; the toy selection in the play room, both to keep the quantity of toys constrained, and so that when we re-introduce toys they get that &lt;em&gt;new toy fun!&lt;/em&gt; effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are 1.5 yr and 3 yr.  Typically whatever one kid is into playing with, the other one wants.  So their tastes in toys ends up completely overlapping.  Doesn't even matter that one's a boy and the other's a girl; the boy has taken complete ownership of my daughter's new baby doll, and the daughter likes to sort through his Duplo blocks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given their ages, toys that tend to get rotated &lt;em&gt;out&lt;/em&gt; include easily weaponizable toys (i.e. &quot;hammers&quot;, &quot;sticks&quot;, &quot;baseballs&quot;, and &quot;vehicles&quot;).  These all move to the garage (and are available during father-son garage time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have some by-request-only &quot;games&quot; which are put away but can be used with adult supervision:  Play doh, crayons, colored pencils, paints, puzzles, games, and a kids electronics set.  All are popular but used infrequently so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few toys have become standards.  They never get rotated out because they get played with frequently and are rarely &quot;trouble&quot;.  These are the ones I would consider the all-around long-time &quot;favorites&quot; that get dragged out time and again, and that we are cleaning up and putting away most every night:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cardboard books.  Big basket of books they can dump out, sort through, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;An electronic &quot;laptop computer&quot; with lid that opens and closes and lots of buttons&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Duplo blocks.  Divided into several bins; we play with only 1-2 of the bins at a time.  Usually the &quot;Duplo people and animals&quot; bin.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wooden blocks.  Simple, but never out of style!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stacking rings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Soft rubber/fuzzy/plastic balls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small orange plastic cones.  Only $3 for 4; who knew they had such play potential!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nylon play tent&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not mentioned but perhaps even more importantly are the plastic containers we use to store and organize all of these.  Often the kids will dump the toys out of the bins and then play with them!  They'll stand on the bins, sit in them, put things in them, use them as &quot;lawn mowers&quot;, use the lids as bats for hitting balls, wear them as hats, and so on and so forth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Indeed, I'd have to say in terms of actual play time, the kids play less with their own toys and more with other common household objects:  The aforementioned containers; remote controls; blankets and pillows from the couches; the couches; any stools, chairs, or movable furniture; napkins; pot lids; cat toys; spatulas (HUGE favorite!); rubber bands; laundry baskets; everything from the magazine rack (torn to shreds); the telephone; laptop computers; brooms and vacuum parts; the laundry; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oddly, anything we'd put in our recycling bin weirdly ends up being the perfect toy.  Of course we wash everything before we put it into the recycling bin, so at first we weren't that bothered by them dumping it out and strewing egg cartons and cardboard boxes and plastic containers across the kitchen, but it's so consistent we eventually had to just put the recycling bin up on a counter so the couldn't get into it and had to stick with their own toys.  But giving them an odd cardboard paper roller, or plastic snack container, or egg carton can give them an evening's activity.  Go figure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T08:22:53.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7024" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-27T17:06:37.890" Score="2" ViewCount="389" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 23-year-old male, my father is working in Town B (for about 2 years now) and he tries to come home every weekend (Friday night - Sunday night), so it's just me and my mother at Town A during the weekdays. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment, but I feel very angry and confused, not directly at my parents but somewhat indirectly at them. When I go to work, I keep thinking of my mother and I feel guilty (although it is not my fault) that she is alone at home. Sure she has friends but she can't seem to keep herself occupied for the whole day, and she resorts to watching TV. I also feel guilty when I want to stay back later at work and come back home at 8pm instead of 5:30pm-6:30pm, as I want to accompany her. Also, during weekdays after work I might have gatherings and outings with friends and I would come home normally around 11pm+. So my mother will be asleep and I won't see her until the next morning briefly. This has lead to me cancelling some of the events that I attend with my friends as I want to spend time with my mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the same problem comes on the weekend. I normally would have my own plans on the weekends to do my own things, but since my father moved to Town B, I always feel guilty if I go out on weekends and not spend time with my parents/my father. So this has led to me also sacrificing alot of my own plans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I just feel so constrained by my parents and both of them even made some remarks about not seeing me a lot during the weekdays//weekends. I get so angry and fustrated because I want them to understand I am not a child and I have my own life now. I don't go out for the whole day/go out excessively, it's just maybe in the morning and afternoon I've got my own plans with my friends and such but I do try to come back for dinner with them or at least one meal a day. Even then, it's not enough for them and they would like to me to spend the whole day with them (ever since my dad moved to Town B to work). Moving out is not an option at the moment because of my finances, but even so, if I did move out it would cause more guilt as my mother will be living alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would I deal with this? Is this my fault? Or should I put aside all my emotions and do what I please. Should I confront my parents? I was thinking of it, but I don't think it will change anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3599" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-13T12:37:48.320" LastActivityDate="2019-04-13T12:37:48.320" Title="How to deal with a separated family as an adult child when my parents want me to spend more time with them?" Tags="|parents|communication|adult-child|separation|coping|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7025" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7037" CreationDate="2012-12-27T17:27:24.243" Score="7" ViewCount="1226" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder which kind of music is well suited for infants and toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd assume those criteria are important:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the &lt;em&gt;change in volume&lt;/em&gt; is not too big (so that the child does not get shocked by a sudden fortissimo)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the music is not too &lt;em&gt;dramatic and &amp;quot;bombastic&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt;  (like e. g. Richard Wagner's Operas)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What &lt;strong&gt;other criteria&lt;/strong&gt; to make music suitable for a child?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you give &lt;strong&gt;examples&lt;/strong&gt; of music matching the criteria?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd assume that some classical music might be well suited, but for sure there might be alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Background:&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;our son (9 months old) is often bored and I think he might enjoy music, but I'm not sure which one to take and how to select.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2021-03-27T19:33:12.650" LastActivityDate="2021-03-27T19:33:12.650" Title="Which music is suited for infants and toddlers?" Tags="|toddler|infant|music|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7024" CreationDate="2012-12-27T18:21:29.243" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a hard situation for all involved.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents separated when I was about 4, so I had many years of experience dealing with being my mother's primary companion at home, and the weekend visits with my father.  Your situation is a bit different, though, as my parents had had a lot more time to adjust by the time I had reached a more independent status.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, &lt;strong&gt;NO&lt;/strong&gt;, this is not your fault.  This is the message &lt;strong&gt;EVERY&lt;/strong&gt; parent going through a divorce or separation should absolutely be emphasizing to their children constantly.  Unfortunately, I think that adult children sometimes get overlooked for stuff like this, even though it absolutely helps to hear it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting aside your emotions &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; doing what you please is self-contradictory.  The conflict exists because you want to do &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt;.  Ideally, you find a way to balance both sides of the equation, but sometimes you wind up in a position where you have to choose one or the other (sometimes you can make this a temporary state of affairs, and restore balance once the situation stabilizes, but not always).  If it gets to that point, you'll have to do some serious thought and make some tough choices, but there are some things you can do to help reduce the chances of being forced into such a decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good place to start might be for you to decide what your &quot;ideal&quot; situation is.  If you could eliminate all feelings of guilt or obligation from the equation, how much time do you honestly &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to spend with each of them?  This can be very specific, or a flexible, general range, depending on what you want.  Get an idea of this, and tuck it away in the back of your mind.  Don't think of this as a goal, though, but rather a measuring stick to see how close to your ideal balance you wind up at.  Most compromises don't wind up with either side getting exactly what they want, but knowing what you want helps keep you focused on getting at least somewhere in the ballpark.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend that you talk to your parents.  &quot;Confront&quot; is probably too harsh of a term, but you definitely want to open dialog.  You'll probably get better results if you start out by asking questions in an attempt to better understand your parents' perspectives, and then introduce your perspective in such a way as to try to work for a solution that addresses everyone's wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask your mother if she feels she has too much time to herself, and what she wants/expects/hopes for from you.  It may be that your guilt about leaving her alone is unfounded, and maybe she's simply enjoying relaxing, or is taking the time to think, or just really wants to catch up on television.  Ask her how she'd prefer to spend her time, both during the day and during the evenings.  Tell her that you feel bad about coming home late and missing seeing her, but that you also don't want to feel like you're neglecting time with your friends.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell your father something very similar.  Tell him that you want to spend time with him, but that there are other things that you also want to do on the weekends, and sometimes you feel frustrated by the conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In both cases, you may be able to work out a schedule that works for both of you.  See if you can set aside blocks of time on specific days that work for both of your schedules, and dedicate that time to a shared activity.  Perhaps Saturday afternoons become &quot;lunch and a movie with Dad&quot;, or Wednesday nights become &quot;take mom out dinner night&quot; (or &quot;make dinner together with mom night&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, after talking with them, you find that you're not able to come up with a solution that makes everyone happy, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist or social worker.  A neutral third party can be very helpful in situations like this, and a professional therapist or social worker can be an excellent listener, and can help suggest possible compromises or methods of coping with your frustration.  Many employee health care packages include some sort of mental health services, so you may wind up being covered.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an alternative, members of the religious community such as priests, pastors, rabbis, etc. are good resources, and many take regular training on counseling techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Through this all, you should also keep in mind that the situation may change.  I'm not saying your parents will get back together (although it has been known to happen), but your relationship with your parents likely will evolve over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they stay separated, they will want to start rebuilding their lives, and may find other people that they want to spend time with.  That doesn't mean they won't want to spend time with you, too, but it will alleviate a large part of the burden of guilt you might feel, knowing that they have other people to keep them company.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also make sure that you don't stop living your life, just to fill a void in your parents' lives.  You need to have opportunities to advance your own relationships and career, and there are extremely few situations where putting those completely on hold justifies the damage to your long-term happiness, even if only temporarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck to you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T18:21:29.243" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7027" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2012-12-27T20:06:33.727" Score="-2" ViewCount="342" Body="&lt;p&gt;What should a parent keep in mind when it comes to discipline and children with autism? What about children with learning disabilities?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3601" LastEditorUserId="3495" LastEditDate="2012-12-28T00:19:06.660" LastActivityDate="2012-12-28T00:19:06.660" Title="Disciplining a special needs child" Tags="|discipline|special-needs|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2013-01-28T15:16:19.793" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7025" CreationDate="2012-12-27T20:59:23.370" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent of a similar-aged child, I'm not sure that I agree with your criteria.  Other than keeping the decible level at a safe level for infant hearing, which I believe is around 60 dB, I'm not sure what the issue would be with dramatic music.  We keep our local classical station on regularly and while my child is fairly sensitive to loud noises she has never been startled by any of the pieces they play.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only evidence-based criteria I have found for selecting music for infants is to avoid &quot;constant exposure to chaotic, discordant music&quot; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_music-and-your-baby-newborn-to-1-year_6548.bc?page=3&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;, Rosalie Pratt a professor of music medicine at BYU).  Classicial music is thought to prime the brain for better spacial reasoning, but the effect may only be temporary (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.educationoasis.com/resources/Articles/building_babys_brain.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;, Diane Bales, PhD). It is also widely acknowledged that gentle, soothing music is better close to bedtime in order to avoid stimulating your infant or toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best music for your infant or toddler is music that you enjoy and your infant or toddler seems to enjoy.  Feel free to try out a variety of your favorites and see what your baby prefers.  You can certainly keep in mind the criteria of avoiding chaotic music and focusing on music with complex structures, such as classical pieces.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2012-12-27T21:45:25.667" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T21:45:25.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7029" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7031" CreationDate="2012-12-27T21:19:24.977" Score="6" ViewCount="486" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 20 month old who quite clearly understands spoken language and commands. He communicates with pointing, shaking his head for yes and no, and he says, &quot;da&quot; (his one and only word) which does not mean daddy, rather it means &quot;hey I have something to tell you&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has had no signs from an ENT specialist, 18 month autism inventory, or other medical indications of speech impairment, and his hearing has been measured as a-ok a few times now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, despite starting to walk sort of late, he is quite mobile; but he would prefer to be carried most of the time rather than to use his own two feet-- he throws tantrums to demonstrate this point.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do some children just refuse to start talking because they don't feel they have to?  Could only saying &quot;da,&quot; and nothing else, be a refusal to speak as opposed to physical development issues?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3069" LastEditorUserId="3495" LastEditDate="2012-12-28T00:19:39.530" LastActivityDate="2012-12-28T00:19:39.530" Title="Can Not Speaking Be Due To Just Plain Refusing To Speak?" Tags="|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7027" CreationDate="2012-12-27T21:57:34.483" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You discipline them the same as your other kids.  Some techniques work better than others, but that's true of any child, and you can't generalize what techniques do or don't work to all special needs children.  Mostly what you change is your expectations.  Things take a lot longer to learn and you have to cut them extra slack.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T21:57:34.483" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7029" CreationDate="2012-12-27T22:15:53.473" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Regarding speech&lt;/strong&gt; - I was reading an article recently about some research in this area. Scientists divided kids who didn't speak and were about 2-3yo in three groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All groups had a class where teacher would show cards with animals and say something like &amp;quot;Dog, dog says woof-woof&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1st group had no physical trainings and was a control group&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;2nd group had physical training to train gross motor skills&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;3rd group had physical training to train fine motor skills&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Results were following:&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;1st group no progress&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;2nd group kids were starting to imitate sounds&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;3rd group was the best in progress, kids were trying to pronounce words and had some success in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Scientist explained that areas responsible for speech and fine motor skills are close to each other, so triggering motor skills helps to develop speech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember all that baby games where moms/dads are doing some tricks with fingers and teach kids to do so? itsy bitsy spider for example. It all helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides talking to the kid showing him things and naming them, voicing all actions you and your kid do, so his vocabulary will be expanded as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And kid should feel that gestures doesn't help parents to understand him. You can say: &amp;quot; I don't understand what you want. Just tell me. Do you want this? Or that? Look daddy says &amp;quot; give me milk&amp;quot; and I give him milk, now your turn&amp;quot; Pretend that you don't understand, he may realize he needs to learn to speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Regarding tantrums and refusing to walk&lt;/strong&gt; - of course its better to sit and be carried then walk :) I'd love to do so too :) Force him. Say mommy/daddy is tired. Look all boys and girls are walking by their-selves.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Tantrums are hard to handle, try to discract him with toys or game, but don't pick him up. Don't do what he wants, but do everything else to distract him/calm him down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything that you described is not a sign of any development issue, I've seen kids who were not talking until 4-5yo. Usually boys are the lazy ones, they don't do things if they think they don't need it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You just need to spend some time to help him in his development. And explain that tantrums won't give him what he wants. But simple words will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T22:15:53.473" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7014" CreationDate="2012-12-27T23:00:58.750" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like Jargoning. It's a normal developmental language milestone for kids as young as 12 to 18 months. Many kids continue to do it for years, and they develop normal expressive and receptive speech patterns over time. Here's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mothering.com/community/t/484035/jargoning-speech&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;site where more people share their experiences&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids make up their own words and even their own languages around that age as they explore how language, syntax, and prosidy work. Searching for &quot;jargoning&quot; and &quot;prosody&quot; may help you learn more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T23:00:58.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7027" CreationDate="2012-12-27T23:30:22.243" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's important to understant the developmental progress of a child so that you can be sure to &lt;strong&gt;set appropriate expectations&lt;/strong&gt;. For example it's not appropriate to expect a child with the developmental capacity of a 2 year old to sit still or be quiet. Talk with your doctor about the behavioral, emotional, adaptive, linguistic, and motor development of the child so that you can be sure what kind of behavior would be reasonable to expect. Know the child's &lt;strong&gt;developmental age&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/pages/Disciplining-Your-Child.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a%20No%20local%20token&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Timeouts&lt;/a&gt; work for most children over age 18 months, with 1 minute per year of developmental age. For example, if the child has the mental capacity of a 6 year old, they would get 6 minutes of time out. Check out the link for how to do a time out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to be consistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2012-12-27T23:30:22.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7024" CreationDate="2012-12-28T05:37:19.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short and not so sweet: no, you &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; have your own life until you move out from living with your parents, and you should.  If you say you can't do it financially, then figure out what it would take and how big the gap is for a cheap(er) solution like renting a room or finding some housemates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it's not a purely selfish solution either: once she is no longer responsible for housing and feeding you, she will be free to move to Town B and live with your father, which may well make her happier.  Maybe they can then rent out your current home and even give you a cut while you get your bearings?  I'm just throwing out ideas here, but you should put this on the table and see what they think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, it's a natural progression in life for kids to move away, and while your mother will have &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empty_nest_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;empty nest syndrome&lt;/a&gt;&quot; initially, she &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; to figure out what she's going to do with the rest of her life sooner or later.  Work?  Volunteer?  Study?  At least find a hobby?  Watching TV isn't going to cut it, and if you're lucky, you moving out will jolt her into realizing this as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2012-12-28T05:37:19.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7025" CreationDate="2012-12-28T06:31:34.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old son likes to listen to Pink Floyd. At least it is the only band/genre/etc that he can listen to without doing anything else - just staying in place and listening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried playing him a variety of music, mainly based on my opinion of which music is good and which is not. I've tried playing lots of different old stuff - from rock'n'roll to classic rock to classical music - the only thing that caught his attention was a Pink Floyd &quot;Best of&quot; album.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best music for a child is the one that he chooses himself. It is the only important criteria. If it's loud and hard, just turn down the volume. But that's my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3260" LastEditorUserId="3260" LastEditDate="2012-12-30T21:26:52.000" LastActivityDate="2012-12-30T21:26:52.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7025" CreationDate="2012-12-28T11:17:56.733" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My focus with all of our kids was to ensure they are exposed to &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; genres of music, so we play classical, heavy metal, blues, country, jazz, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from avoiding peak volumes that can be too high, play them everything, so they hopefully appreciate everything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2012-12-28T11:17:56.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7025" CreationDate="2012-12-28T17:31:21.077" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As another answerer already mentioned of course, decibel level is of concern - you don't want your kids listening to music that is so loud, you will actually hurt their hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside of that, as shared by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7028/2876&quot;&gt;this poster&lt;/a&gt; some studies on music and toddlers have shown that there can be some impact on intelligence, while still others seem to indicate that is a load of hooey, or that the impact is miniscule.  Even the criteria that music not be too chaotic or discordant, is a tough one, because the assertion is often then made that classical is the way to go.  However, there is plenty of classical music (or romantic or modern era &quot;concert music&quot; which are also often referred to as &quot;classical&quot;) that is &quot;chaotic and discordant&quot;  Beethoven's second or Fire Bird or Rite of Spring by Stravinsky for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As someone with a lot of training in child development and experience in both the two's and three's classroom in preschools, I decided not to worry about &quot;researched&quot; aspects of music choices for my own child too much.  Instead of focusing on a specific type of music as &quot;okay&quot; or &quot;not okay&quot; I focus on the music itself.  As teacher and parent, I pay attention to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is there language in the lyrics (particularly in the repetitious portions) that would be embarrassing to my child, myself, or teachers and other parents with whom she interacts regularly, or are there lyrics that are overly educational about inappropriate topics for her age group (explicit sexual references, topics on death, suicide, crime etc. - my allowances or lack thereof for these types of topics change as she grows and changes and is more ready for certain things).  I try to think, if she repeated any of the lyrics in mixed company or to a little friend would I feel bad about having let her learn the song?  (If so, I avoid it when still with lyrics).  If you have some favorites of yours that contain such lyrics, you might try &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rockabyebabymusic.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Lullaby renditions of&lt;/a&gt;. . . or see if the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vitaminstringquartet.com/v2/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Vitamin String Quartet&lt;/a&gt; has covered what you like without the lyrics)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does my kid or do my students respond to the music and what kind of a response is it?  Music does impact mood - if I notice that a particular piece of music - or genre of music seems to create grumpiness, I nix the music.  Of course if a piece of music you get out startles your child, it would also fall into this category.  Conversely, if my child seems soothed by a certain piece of music I put it in the &quot;soothing&quot; playlist, OR, if a song is upbeat and makes her want to dance and laugh etc. (Or in the case of nine-month old, giggle and clap), I put it in the &quot;play time&quot; playlist. - You get the idea.  One play through with a piece that has a negative impact is not going to do lasting damage.  As they get older and more communicative, they can talk to you about their perceptions in this realm more and more too.  In regard to this one, at nine months, I presented what I liked and fit with Criteria number 1.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As annoying and repetitive, as children's music (and some pop) &lt;strong&gt;can be&lt;/strong&gt;, kids learn from repetition and some of it is really pretty good.  I would include some honest to gosh &quot;children's music&quot; in your repertoire.  Songs like, &quot;Jim along Josie&quot; and Animal Action songs are great for teaching different types of movement.  There are songs that teach days of the week, numbers, etc.  Even songs like, &quot;I like to eat a apples and banaynays&quot; can be really useful because of the teaching behind them (this one teaches the vowels).  Songs that include fine and gross motor skills all help even with language development as well as rhythmic development and aquiring musical appreciation.  At nine months, songs like, &quot;teddy bear's picnic&quot; and &quot;Animal Crackers in my Soup.&quot; are fun and capture imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; like the song &lt;strong&gt;At ALL&lt;/strong&gt; If listening to the song over and over again is going  to put me in a bad mood because I just can't even tune it out because it sounds so awful to me (for example, anything by Lady GaGa), it is not in my child's best interest to have it playing because I will eventually be in a bad mood over it - not conducive to constructive interactions with my child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside of those considerations, As my child grew into toddler-hood and beyond, I have tried to give her variety.  To me, filling the house with a variety of genres keeps things fresh and my daughter informed as to the musical options out there.  At the preschool we were required to play a variety of genres and even had a rotating featured genre each month that was required we play.  The director spoke as though she had learned about benefits of a variety through some of her training, though I cannot think of any specific study I have ever read or heard about in this regard.  Doing searches for &quot;Top Tens&quot; and then a genre will often yield songs you can preview and choose amongst.  Many times you can find one or two that fit the above four criteria (and if you don't find something you like, don't worry about it).  &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/04/baby-music-alternatives.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; provides a list of a variety of resources for finding great music that is also great for kids such as those given in the links in the first criteria I listed and might be of particular interest to you right now for finding songs from a variety of genres that might work for you.  One of the best resources listed in the article for achieving variety is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babylovesmusic.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;baby loves music&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have written a few articles about music and kids on my blog that you might find interesting if your child really takes a liking to music and you want to give your child a musical education/enrichment experience.  My blog is &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;pinchxeverthing.blogspot.com&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6806/2876&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; is designed to ask about what music is good for babies still in the womb.  Many of the same concepts apply, so if you have not done so already, I'd check it out too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to the criteria you offer, I'd disagree unless you are thinking specifically for music in the &quot;soothing&quot; category.  My daughter &lt;strong&gt;loves&lt;/strong&gt; (and has long loved) &quot;Ride of the Valkyrie&quot; by Wagner.  &quot;In the Hall of the Mountain King&quot; is another favorite even though it is fairly loud at the end.  She also loves &quot;1812 Overture&quot; by Tchaikovsky (Loud Timpani, Cannons . . .).  Sometimes big changes or dramatic shifts in musical dynamics can be really fun for kids as well as teach them vocabulary like loud and soft (or forte and piano in musical terms) by setting up the example for you to discuss.  Have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2012-12-30T17:46:06.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7024" CreationDate="2012-12-28T21:04:46.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your a good kid cause you care. That's why you feel angry and frustrated. If you didn't care. You wouldn't feel anything. It's all part of becoming an adult. I'm afraid there isn't any painless about it. One day you'll understand that no one's parents are perfect, and you'll have to accept that they have their own problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I think you need is a good sense of self-confidence and assertiveness. With assertiveness you will learn to express what you need to your parents without allowing their feelings to control what you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basic assertiveness skill is to repeat what the person is saying. So that they know you are listening and understand how they feel, but then repeat when you want to them. Keep repeating this process until they learn that you are asserting what you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You: &quot;Mom, I can't stay home this weekend because I already made plans to go out.&quot;&#xA;Mom: &quot;We never see you anymore.&quot;&#xA;You: &quot;I'm sorry, I know you wanted to spend time with me, but I can't stay home this weekend because I already made plans to go you.&quot;&#xA;Mom: &quot;You use to spend time with me, but you don't anymore.&quot;&#xA;You: &quot;I'm sorry, I know I use to spend time with you, but I can't stay home this weekend because I already made plans to go out.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you apply assertiveness for the first time. It can be a difficult experience for both, but I have found that people will change. Your parents will begin to respect you, because you listen but also know what you want to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/Best-Confidence-Assertiveness-Books-List/lm/R2WC2OOZW3VRJ9&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Amazon list on assertiveness books&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2012-12-28T21:04:46.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7039" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7040" CreationDate="2012-12-28T21:36:10.213" Score="12" ViewCount="3784" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sure some of you have either said or heard something like this before: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;If you don't finish your dinner, you can have it for breakfast the next morning&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used to have problems (and still occasionally do, but less often) with our now 4-year-old son eating only a single bite (or less) of his dinner - even if it was something he requested or we know he likes.  We don't do this when introducing new foods (I remember bad experiences with this as a child) or if we know he's had a late snack (don't want to force him to overeat). When we pull this line out, it usually ends up being eaten as lunch the next day (after he refuses it for breakfast)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is &lt;strong&gt;how appropriate is this strategy of getting children to eat?&lt;/strong&gt; - we know it works (and it seems to affect his behavior), but when we use it, it feels like a power struggle and I sometimes feel bad afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2017-12-18T17:29:19.483" Title="saving uneaten dinner for breakfast?" Tags="|pre-schooler|food|eating|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7039" CreationDate="2012-12-28T22:44:03.027" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is actually the method we consistently use with our daughter - with a few slight tweaks and it has worked well and doesn't feel &quot;bad&quot; at all.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When using any form of discipline (this is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; synonymous with punishment) it is really important to set things up to be predictable.  Predictability sets you up for success.  A statement made out of frustration like, &quot;okay you can have it for breakfast then.&quot;  often doesn't work because it doesn't include consistency and predictability.  It makes the consequence about your emotions rather than about the child's choices (and life lessons).  These kinds of things often lead to the power struggle you describe in your question.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all we ask for eating in &lt;strong&gt;balance&lt;/strong&gt;.  We watched what our child ate and if she had fairly equal amounts of everything served we didn't worry about it any further (sometimes they really just aren't hungry).  The AAP recommends that parents choose what foods are available, where food is eaten, and when meal times are, providing access to healthy foods at least every 2 to 4 hours. Children choose whether to eat, and how much.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, at our home, when we serve the first plate of food she only got about the number of bites of each item as years of life she has had - three years old meant three bites of everything, four meant four etc.  Sometimes staring at a full plate can overwhelm kids and they don't even know where to begin.  By giving small amounts like this, it is likely the child will eat what is on the plate and want seconds.  We are not aiming for a &quot;clean plate&quot; kid here, but the rule that she had to finish most of what was on her plate before getting seconds was applied (we were flexible if there was only about a bite left of something). Then, she could get as many or as few seconds of her favorite parts of the meal as she desired.  We knew she had sufficiently at least tried each of the foods presented.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirdly, we included the procedure for new foods too.  If you don't, you lose consistency.  However, we did not insist she try anything really spicy or rich in flavor as young children do better with milder tastes anyway (we simply didn't serve it to her - if she asked for some we gave her one bite to try - if she wanted more, we gave her more).  Seeing the food at breakfast became a &lt;strong&gt;predictable outcome&lt;/strong&gt; or consequence she actually would come to feel she had control over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't threaten, cajole or discuss.  She eats a &quot;balanced&quot; amount of food or she doesn't and we don't make a big deal about it at dinner.  It may sound harsh not to give &quot;warnings,&quot; but we generally avoid even this (minus one warning each night for the first week the method is used).  The next morning we simply get out the &quot;offending&quot; left-over, place it in front of her and reiterate the importance of a &quot;balanced diet.&quot;  We restate the idea that since she didn't eat anything green the day before, she'll need to start her day with something green today.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The two most important keys are the consistency part and not getting emotional over it.  If she eats the offending food - that is her choice; if she wants to wait and eat it as a left-over for breakfast, that is also her choice - she is the one that suffers the consequence (not me by being upset and worried over it).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, my daughter will even throw in extra bites of stuff she doesn't like when she knows we will be going to a party or something.  At a wedding we recently attended, she approached me when it was time for cake and said, &quot;Mom, I had 15 green beans, 5 bites of salad (obviously she is older now) a slice of roast beef and a roll.  Will I still be balanced if I have some cake?&quot;  I laughed and said she could eat the slice of cake - I hadn't even intended on keeping track while at the wedding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that she has things down pretty well, I can choose to be a lot more lax about it (like at events such as a wedding), but I did have to be a bit strict about things for the first little while to make she she really got the drill.  I also adjusted for things like the late snacks you mentioned, or if she was ill or something and kept an eye out for possible allergic reactions to things.  I really tried to make sure that first month I was as regular and routine about her eating schedule as was humanly possible in order to try to maintain that consistency I mentioned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-09T03:56:20.380" LastActivityDate="2013-01-09T03:56:20.380" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6940" CreationDate="2012-12-29T06:00:55.837" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The core of a child's emotional and social development involves&#xA;  learning how to make sense of and handle feelings. When a child throws&#xA;  a tantrum it is a strong yet simple message that their ability has&#xA;  been exceeded and they are in need of help. A child in the throes of&#xA;  such emotional turmoil is not having any fun. It is scary to lose&#xA;  control, to be trounced by one's own mounting distress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If we can shift our perspective and see the tantrum through the eyes&#xA;  of our child, we open ourselves up to understanding, and intervening&#xA;  in helpful ways. As the data indicates, tantrums have a preliminary&#xA;  build-up when children give both subtle and overt signs that things&#xA;  are heading toward meltdown. Reading and responding to those early&#xA;  cues – and getting to know what they are for your particular child –&#xA;  is essential in preventing a tantrum. If you can learn the early&#xA;  warning signs that your child is becoming overloaded, it may often be&#xA;  possible to provide the rest, change of scene, snack, focused&#xA;  attention, or distraction that your child needs before reaching the&#xA;  point of no return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If the window of opportunity closes and your child has a tantrum,&#xA;  remember two key things: stay calm and stay present. Children tend to&#xA;  act their worst when they need us most. The sheer intensity of a&#xA;  tantrum is a window into the level of distress a child is&#xA;  experiencing. This can be a learning opportunity if handled right. If&#xA;  handled insensitively, it furthers a sense of isolation and shame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Most parental interventions during tantrums have been found to&#xA;  actually be responses to a child's behavior, not actual interventions.&#xA;  In other words, most of what we do as parents is react. Instead of&#xA;  staying focused on our child's feelings and what we need to do, we&#xA;  tend to reflexively respond in typical ways. Hence, if our child is&#xA;  showering us with an ear-piercing yell, we walk away. If the behavior&#xA;  is hitting, we put them in a room and shut the door. Unfortunately,&#xA;  the more a parent is reactive, the more the tantrum tends to escalate&#xA;  and the longer it persists. Punishment is not helpful; neither is&#xA;  isolation. What calms a child – and teaches a valuable skill – is&#xA;  empathy and validation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://naturalchild.org/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter2.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This website&lt;/a&gt; has a good article on tantrums and insights for dealing with them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3604" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-05T17:14:46.523" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T17:14:46.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="589" CreationDate="2012-12-29T13:33:24.253" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the original poster. Nobody gave an answer that covers what turned out to be the actual cause, so I'm posting this answer to bring closure to this question. Hopefully this will be useful to anybody who is experiencing the same issue with their child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It turns out that the cause of the breath holding was due to swollen tonsils and adenoids. The enlarged tissues around the airway was causing our son to not be able to get enough air, which caused him to constantly take short breaths and hold them as a way to compensate. It was also causing him to have sleep apnea. (Note: In the original question, I said there were no breathing issues at night when he was asleep. I was wrong. We just weren't observing long enough and at the right times.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We took him to an ENT specialist / surgeon who said that the best option was just to remove them, because they were so swollen. After having his tonsils and adenoids removed, his breath-holding and sleep apnea went away, almost immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="96" LastActivityDate="2012-12-29T13:33:24.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1596" CreationDate="2012-12-29T15:24:19.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter(6months old) does the same thing: she's very squirmy - will take a few sips, stop to look around, take a few more, stop and so on. I try to give her a blankie so she can feel the texture and although this sometimes helps, the only time she will peacefully drink her bottle is in the night time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3605" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2012-12-31T20:03:36.347" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T20:03:36.347" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7044" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7061" CreationDate="2012-12-30T00:58:21.723" Score="3" ViewCount="908" Body="&lt;p&gt;What does the best research say about babbling, and whether it should be encouraged, ignored, or discouraged?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would early deafness make a difference to that advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been told that babbling is fine; and to repeat the sounds back sometimes is good.  Babbling lets children explore and develop their tongue and mouth.  And repeating the babbling back to them lets them know that they can make a noise that people will respond to, which encourages them to talk.  If they try to say a word you model the correct word, and reply to the question / demand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does that match good recent research?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T19:40:36.980" Title="Babbling - encourage babbling in 2 yo with glue ear?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6903" CreationDate="2012-12-30T05:43:25.503" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We mailed my Mom the pregnancy test, nothing else in the envelope, just the positive pregnancy test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The funny thing is that she didn't get it.  She said, &quot;What on earth would I do with a pregnancy test.  I'm past menopause.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2092" LastActivityDate="2012-12-30T05:43:25.503" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6903" CreationDate="2012-12-30T11:49:17.280" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can e. g. invite the grandparents for afternoon tee&lt;br&gt;&#xA;and then put &lt;strong&gt;place cards&lt;/strong&gt; with &quot;Grandpa John&quot;, &quot;Grandma Hilary&quot;, .... on the desk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2012-12-30T11:49:17.280" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7047" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7054" CreationDate="2012-12-30T12:54:53.987" Score="5" ViewCount="8490" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/466/how-do-you-discourage-a-toddler-from-hitting-people&quot;&gt;How do you discourage a toddler from hitting people?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Out of the blue my 16 month old son has started hitting his sister (4 year old) and other kids when he is frustrated (and sometimes he did it pro-actively without any clear reason).  In those cases he would just walk up to his sister (or mother on one occasion) and just swing at them without any apparent provocation from their side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is worrying me, so I wanted to get advice on how to deal with this as he is too young to take any conversational feedback besides just saying &quot;No&quot; but that doesn't seem to be stopping him so far from doing it again.  I can't see timeouts or similar things working for a 16 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for how to deal with this issue on a kid so young? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-01-03T20:12:02.947" Title="What is the best way to deal with a 16 month old who started hitting?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|hitting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2013-01-04T13:57:26.377" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7047" CreationDate="2012-12-30T21:56:18.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Luckily for me my daughter (2.5 years old by now) is far from such behaviour but I'll share what I would do in such a situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First hit just say &quot;No&quot; firmly and explain that what he's doing hurts. Toddlers understand much more than we think.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he's doing it again, grab him and move him away from his sister/mother for example to his room or just any different room and explain again that he must not do it because it hurts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soon when he'll start talking you can also ask him to apologize if he'll still be doing it, but hopefully it won't come to that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2012-12-30T21:56:18.780" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7049" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7057" CreationDate="2012-12-30T21:57:38.220" Score="10" ViewCount="2279" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, my six-year-old daughter has understood that babies come from a &quot;special kind of hug&quot; done between the mommy and daddy.  I should clarify that she has actually seen sex on a farm between animals and labeled it &quot;hugging&quot; herself when she saw it (though she couldn't really see the exact mechanics).  I should also clarify that she already knows all the terminology for both the male and female anatomy and that the &quot;special hug&quot; requires no clothing and an older age than she is at now.  I have used the term sex with her, but she prefers &quot;special hug&quot; and has clearly shown she isn't ready to fully grasp the mechanics part yet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, she put two and two together herself when she asked how babies were made and I answered something akin to when two people really love each other, they can get together and choose to make a baby together.  She actually asked, &quot;is it like the special hug the donkey's did?&quot; I answered, &quot;It can be.&quot;  The confusion lies in the &quot;choice&quot; part.  She understands this hug cannot be made accidentally and even that requires removing clothes, but is now confused because her youngest aunt (my youngest sister in law and who ran away from home) has now sent out an announcement and photo to all of us that she just had a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There has been a lot of conversation about it now over the holiday.  My daughter has always just figured that special hug happened between two people that were married and though I didn't purposefully plant this idea, I didn't correct it when she expressed it either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Needless to say, my six-year-old has some questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Why did Auntie do the special hug when she isn't ready for a baby?&quot; being one of the main ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do want her to get the idea that the &quot;special hug&quot; is generally reserved for much older members of society and that have a monogamous relationship without getting into too much detail or sounding too judgemental while also answering her question honestly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My youngest sister in law is getting a lot of critique, because she is young, without an income, and without the means to truly care for this baby - subjects that are complex to broach with a six year old especially when sex is wrapped up in an already complex topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Your aunt made a dumb-f*ck decision&quot; - The answer my lovely father in law inserted and that thankfully, my daughter didn't quite catch - seems highly inappropriate to me as I'd like to be a little more sensitive to my sister-in-law and her baby even if it wasn't the smartest choice in the world.  After-all, we all make mistakes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wondered how other parents in this situation may have discussed this with their early elementary or primary kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-06T19:08:11.853" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T19:08:11.853" Title="Explaining Teen Pregnancy to Young Child" Tags="|primary-schooler|sex-education|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2012-12-31T01:47:23.563" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The method works.  Only took about a week to work on our children. Our son responded within a few days. Did it on all 3 of our children.  After a while we skipped 1 and went straight to 2. When they were older all we had to do was raise up 2 fingers and that's all it took. Very rarely got to 3.  Used it until they were 16 or so with no problems.  Was great for our family!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3610" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T01:47:23.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7047" CreationDate="2012-12-31T02:50:16.293" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might also be a good idea to address the reason why the toddler is hitting (for example, you mentioned frustration) before doing any sort of explanation or punishment because people in general have a hard time listening to logic before their emotions are considered. Explaining after addressing the need behind the behavior will make it easier for the toddler to understand why hitting is bad without having to feel that his need was neglected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3612" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T02:50:16.293" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7049" CreationDate="2012-12-31T13:23:06.320" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since she is asking, this may be a good opportunity to discuss with her the mechanics of human reproduction in detail: naming the body parts properly and explaining their functions in the process. You can also discuss with here what Auntie did wrong and how this could have been avoided. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age kids a very non-sexual, so this may actually turn out to be a lot less awkward then it would be at the onset of puberty. It may also help establishing good and open communication habits about this tricky topic that can help to get successfully through puberty and young adulthood.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure where you are from, but in the US the amount of squeamishness, communication avoidance, and outright misinformation by parents &amp;amp; institutions is very alarming. The results of that are disastrous: teenage pregnancy rates in the US are more than 10 times higher as they are in, say, the Netherlands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While your daughter may still seem too young to think about this, now is good time to start. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T13:23:06.320" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7056" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7060" CreationDate="2012-12-31T15:21:18.043" Score="7" ViewCount="545" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is now 4 months into our second pregnancy. Our first child was born via caesarean section. Our doctor told us that since the second child will be born within 2 years of the c-section, the second child will be born via c-section as well. Actually, this is sad news for us, because we really want our children born vaginally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to make sure that what the doctor said is right. Is there any valid research which shows that the minimal range to give birth vaginally is 2 years after having caesarean section? What are the chances that my wife will be able to give birth vaginally?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, one of you guys have had the same experiences as my wife and will please share here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T17:17:33.950" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T17:17:33.950" Title="What are the chances that my wife will give birth vaginally after having a caesarean section in a previous pregnancy?" Tags="|pregnancy|birth|c-section|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7049" CreationDate="2012-12-31T15:41:41.947" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, most six year-olds do lots of things without considering the consequences.  Just pick one and ask, &quot;Why did you &amp;lt;whatever&amp;gt; when you knew you would get into trouble for it?&quot;  It's because they liked doing it and weren't thinking of the consequences at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T15:41:41.947" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7056" CreationDate="2012-12-31T15:56:46.557" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you are talking about is called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/vaginal-birth-after-cesarean-vbac-overview&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC)&lt;/a&gt;.  You should do some research and decide if it's really the right thing for you.  I don't see anything in there about two years, but that may be the obstetrician's experience.  If you research and still think it's for you, your next step is probably to find an obstetrician and a hospital that will support your decision.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T15:56:46.557" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="453" CreationDate="2012-12-31T16:24:15.613" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We don't heat our bedroom in the UK at all and leave a window ajar. Our two kids sleep in the same room with us on a separate bed. A cold snap recently when the temperatures outside didn't rise above freezing even during the day encouraged me to make some temporary 'four poster' canopies for our beds and they &lt;em&gt;seem&lt;/em&gt; to make a huge difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://blog.lolyco.com/sean/2012/12/31/save-on-winter-heating-with-cheap-diy-four-poster/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://blog.lolyco.com/sean/2012/12/31/save-on-winter-heating-with-cheap-diy-four-poster/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used some temperature sensors towards the end of the cold snap and room temperature fell to about 10°C towards the dawn and only a few degrees warmer under the canopies. I suspect draught reduction and humidity maintenance play a large part in the sensation of comfort at night. In the winter we sleep under thick duvets, which are sufficient for us adults and our older child but our 'little eskimo' sweats in all weathers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We lived in Malaysia up until a couple of years ago and slept naked under thin sheets in an air-conditioned room with a ceiling fan. We had the thermostat set for 24°C which the 1kW unit would only achieve for a couple of pre-dawn hours. When the ceiling fan failed in the frequent power cuts it just wasn't worth stewing on the bed: we got up and did some light chores. It's definitely a balance between temperature, humidity, draught, clothing and covers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3614" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T16:24:15.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7056" CreationDate="2012-12-31T17:33:30.347" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is the current practice at many medical facilities to automatically schedule a c-section for any child after a previous medically-necessary c-section.  This is somewhat controversial, as the risks of VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section) may be less than originally thought.  Some &lt;a href=&quot;http://europepmc.org/abstract/MED/3369487/reload=0;jsessionid=xk1TOnrOkkNSQIJw1koc.16&quot;&gt;studies show that between 74%&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3425654&quot;&gt;82% of women attempting a trial of labor after a c-section had successful vaginal deliveries&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I can find no indication that 2 years separation is a hard factor in this.  I can only find some examples of &lt;a href=&quot;http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101125141525AApkoVt&quot;&gt;anecdotal evidence&lt;/a&gt; that claims that &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycenter.com/post/a29106333/vbac_less_than_2_years_after_c-section&quot;&gt;18 months between deliveries is the minimum&lt;/a&gt;.  The site &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10211&quot;&gt;childbirthconnection.org&lt;/a&gt; also mentions an 18 month delay between deliveries as being the minimum to reduce the chance of having scar-related problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other factors seem to be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The chances of a successful VBAC are higher if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You've had only one prior low transverse uterine incision — the most common type for a C-section — and no other uterine incisions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You and your baby are healthy and your pregnancy is progressing normally&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The reason you had your prior C-section isn't a factor this time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Your labor begins naturally on or before your due date&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You've had a previous successful vaginal delivery&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The chances of a successful VBAC are lower if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Your pregnancy continues beyond your due date&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You have an unusually large baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You've had two or more C-sections and no vaginal deliveries&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a couple who recently had their second child, after an initial c-section.  The mother was very set on attempting a VBAC, and had to change hospitals to find one willing to even allow them to attempt it.  The second child was born 3 years after the first, rather than two, but she did have the birth vaginally without incident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T17:33:30.347" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7044" CreationDate="2012-12-31T19:55:10.557" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should always encourage all attempts at vocalization that your child makes.  Expressive verbal language delays may be due to hearing problems, developmental issues involving the mouth, tongue, palate, or throat, or neurological deficits.  While I would never encourage a parent to worry excessively over a &quot;missed&quot; milestone (as they are in reality more flexible than many parents appreciate), if the child in question is being seen for the glue ear problem, you should not refuse any offers of early intervention services, and should consider requesting an evaluation by a pediatric speech therapist if one has not yet been done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend the following resources to get you started:&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Childhood Speech, Language, and Listening Problems&lt;/em&gt;, by Patricia McAleer Hamaguchi&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;The Late Talker: What to Do If Your Child Isn't Talking Yet&lt;/em&gt;, by Dr. Marilyn C. Agin, et al.&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&quot;Baby Babble&quot;, &quot;Baby Babble 2&quot;, and &quot;Baby Babble 3&quot; DVDs&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Baby Babble DVDs were created by two speech therapists specializing in very early speech delays.  They contain short movies which are amazingly effective in getting young children vocalizing, and each contains helpful tips on remedial strategies as well.  For instance, sometimes children are reluctant to make B, P and M noises, which hampers formation of syllables necessary for the first spoken words. Remedial strategies for that problem encourage making noises such as &quot;pop&quot; in response to exciting stimuli (this can be done with toys, not just by using the DVDs). Remedial strategies for vowel sound avoidance can include anything that encourages the child to purse the lips and blow, such as blowing bubbles through a straw.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Advice is consistent throughout all the materials I've seen and read to do whatever possible to encourage all vocalizations-- never correct a child, which risks making him or her feel bad and clam up, though of course having a conversation where one models words in different forms is to be encouraged.  Researchers also do tend to encourage babbling back at a child who's not ready to form words yet.  In general, do anything to make vocalization fun and stress-free, and increase mobilization of the tongue, mouth and throat.  On the DVDs recommended above, you will see the therapists act extremely overjoyed at every sound the children struggle to make.  You will also notice them using exaggerated facial expressions when making sounds in front of the children, as one area that may be lacking is understanding / modeling of the correct movements of the mouth to make a certain sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early hearing problems, even ones falling short of deafness, should be addressed as quickly as possible.  Not only do they impact early language development, but even problems resolved with tubes and the like, which disappear as a child gets older, have been linked to attention and language processing disorders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2013-01-07T19:30:42.207" LastActivityDate="2013-01-07T19:30:42.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7039" CreationDate="2012-12-31T20:08:35.057" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should avoid turning eating into a power struggle.  If you recycle the food for the next meal, don't threaten to do it; just do it.  Sometimes children aren't hungry, which is fine-- you do not want to interrupt the normal functioning of the appestat, which may lead to eating problems later, by forcing a child to overeat.  Take all the usual measures to ensure a normal appetite at meals (i.e. strictly control snacking) and don't worry if a child isn't hungry some of the time at meals.  Absent some eating disorder, constipation, etc., this is a problem that sorts itself out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(ETA: I'm going to leave this part as is for readers that may follow later, even though I understand that you don't use the technique with a new food.)  With a new food, you should stay constantly aware of a few things.  First, food allergies and sensory processing issues may be manifested in ways that don't set off red flags: a child takes a stab at eating something, but only eats a little.  For an allergic child or one with processing issues, to be forced to eat the wrong foods can be tantamount to torture, even if lovingly intended.  Also, even for completely normal children with no food-related issues, an unfamiliar taste or texture may take many exposures before the palate expands.  To best cultivate an eclectic palate, introduce new foods in conjunction with old ones, don't turn any meal into a power struggle, and if children consistently over time show avoidance of certain foods consider bringing it up with a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child holds in poop or otherwise has bowel problems, you should be consulting a doctor and using Miralax or some other recommended method to keep the child going regularly.  Sometimes potty training, worries about losing a part of the self, etc. can cause children to hold it in, or it may happen for completely natural causes.  Then one of two things can happen: either the child simply isn't full because he or she is backed up, in which case that's the primary problem to resolve instead of forcing food into the child, or the child is afraid of pooping so doesn't want to eat though hungry.  These problems can never be resolved by power struggles in attempts to force or cajole children to eat, so see your doctor if this might be part of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eating disorders where a child will starve himself or herself are extremely, extremely rare, and not a reason to insist that a child eat without information supporting such a disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even after introducing a food 7-10 times or more to a child, a perfectly normal child may simply not enjoy a certain food.  I wouldn't avoid serving such foods during a meal, but I would take measures to include some foods in each meal that everyone will enjoy eating.  If you relax and let the child's hunger work for you, and sensitively address possible constipation, food allergies, and other problems as indicated, you should be all right in the end.  This will pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2012-12-31T23:53:26.603" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T23:53:26.603" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6999" CreationDate="2012-12-31T20:21:32.710" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience it is common, and even not uncommon to show movies during the day.  I've seen this occur in both in-home daycares and larger establishments.  The obvious benefit to the daycare or preschool is that it occupies the children and keeps them still for a while.  In my opinion, it is totally inappropriate.  I was livid to learn that at a supposedly progressive preschool that prided itself on early learning support that a significant part of one day was spent, without prior warning being sent home, in watching one of the &quot;High School Musical&quot; movies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T20:21:32.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7039" CreationDate="2012-12-31T20:34:46.687" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with lucounu's response, especially that if your goal is to create healthy eating habits for life, any power struggles related to food run the risk of having a much larger negative effect than the particular foods being eaten.  Short term, it is highly unlikely that a child will choose a diet so unbalanced as to cause health problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is important to conciously know what it is that you, the adult, are hoping to accomplish when you attempt to exert your influence.  This is not an idle question as the underlying motivation determines what is an acceptable outcome.  Some possible reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You want your son to eat healthy foods; in this case you wouldn't care if he refuses a food - if he doesn't want macaroni he can go get a carrot.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You want your son to learn that he can't just eat a few favorites all the time (for instance, for economic reasons if it is meat or a boxed food); he's probably too young for this lesson yet - he doesn't understand economics or scarcity yet, only that you provide all he needs.  If his preferred food is in the house he may not understand why he can't have it instead of what is in front of him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You feel that since his parents did work to prepare a meal, he should show gratitude by eating it; In this case you should realize that the missing element is choice - we as adults don't prepare foods we don't like, or if one partner likes it and the other doesn't, it is understood they will not partake equally.  It is unfair to expect him to eat some of each food at a meal if you would not expect the same of your spouse or a guest.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing explicitly what value you are trying to uphold (and making sure that you are on the same page as your spouse) may lead you to realize that there are more possibilities for conflict resolution than you first assumed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3616" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T20:34:46.687" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2012-12-31T20:55:57.293" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although it's been hinted at in some of the other answers, your main concern should be setting the expectations for anyone that comes to see you.  No one should be &quot;visiting&quot; new parents, because visiting implies that you are the hosts and will care for them along with your baby.  Friends and relatives should only &quot;come to help&quot; - anyone coming into your house should expect to cook, feed you, clean up for you, perhaps even make a shopping run.  And for the record, &quot;holding the baby&quot; is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;helping&quot;.  That is the mother's job, and everyone else's job is to do things for the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get your relatives to accept that message, you should not have to fear them coming over, and indeed they should be relieving more burden than they impose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3616" LastActivityDate="2012-12-31T20:55:57.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2013-01-01T02:07:54.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no quarantine period. It's up to you.&#xA;Newborns are at increased risk for infection-- especially this time of year (October - March)-- because of RSV, so you can ask visiting family and friends to wash their hands before holding or touching your baby and and ask that they touch the cute little feet instead of your baby's hands or face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2013-01-01T02:07:54.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7049" CreationDate="2013-01-01T04:56:28.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You only have a problem because you've described sex inappropriately. It's not a hug, so when you described it as a hug, you naturally raised questions whenever your child sees or thinks about people hugging. I also think it's natural to wonder about accidental/incidental hugs causing pregnancies, with that explanation. I'm not trying to scold you, but this is exactly the sort of confusion I would have expected with that explanation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's understandable to want to delay in-depth discussions on sex for young children (although I personally feel that matter-of-fact education is best).  However, it's important not to be inaccurate, and of course important not to set a child up to hate people who are different (not that I'm implying you would do that).  I think you can impart helpful Christian life values while discussing sex and pregnancy without being overly judgmental, e.g. &quot;When a man and a woman love each other, sometimes they decide to have a baby, so they have sex and the woman becomes pregnant&quot;; such statements do not deny the existence of other forms of love and sexual expression.  No matter how one may feel about homosexuality, births out of wedlock, etc. these are facts of modern life, and it does a child a disservice to actively deny their existence.  And of course one can be accurate while describing sex, just leaving out the details: &quot;Sex is something a mommy and daddy do together because they love each other, and sometimes they make a baby that way&quot; may satisfy a very young child for quite some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a ton of &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=sex%20books%20%28%22for%20children%22%20OR%20%22for%20kids%22%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sex ed books for kids&lt;/a&gt; out now; I'd look them over and see if one appeals to you.  I discussed the nuts and bolts of sex with my now-seven-year-old boy when it came up the first time, I think around the age of four. He took it in stride with no issues, and I followed up by getting him &lt;em&gt;Child Atlas: Human Body&lt;/em&gt; by Richard Walker, partly because of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ellenjmchenry.com/homeschool-freedownloads/lifesciences-games/humananatomy.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;free Ellen McHenry study guide available&lt;/a&gt;. My second son is now three, and he has heard terms like &quot;sex&quot; but we haven't needed to have the first &quot;talk&quot; yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastActivityDate="2013-01-01T04:56:28.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7068" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7071" CreationDate="2013-01-02T03:30:06.647" Score="5" ViewCount="791" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, age 8 and well adjusted generally, occasionally writes a letter back to her [tooth] fairy .   I saw this article recommending &lt;a href=&quot;http://chippedteacup.hubpages.com/hub/letters-from-the-tooth-fairy#slide-related&quot;&gt;writing tiny letters &lt;/a&gt; and it seems just too adorable not to do something similar.  Is it ok to respond? No lasting damage likely from letting them believe in magic a little longer?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2960" LastActivityDate="2013-01-12T05:42:07.603" Title="Further correspondence from tooth fairy?" Tags="|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7047" CreationDate="2013-01-02T10:21:41.297" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it's caused by frustration, then a likely source of that is trouble verbalizing those feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Scoldings and time outs (or whatever discipline tactics you've standardized on) are definitely appropriate, and should be enforced reasonably consistently with this.  However, they don't address the source cause and thus as you point out are unlikely to resolve the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, help the child verbalize their feelings for them.  Try to figure out what the cause of the frustration was - a stolen toy, jealousy, need for attention, need for interaction, tiredness, etc.  Then express that for the child in simple words, and with multiple repetitions, to show that a) you understand how they feel, and b) what words they &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; be using.  Follow up with, &quot;...but hitting is NOT OKAY.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, with my kids a frequent cause of physical strife is when the younger child plays with the older child's toys.  After much corrective education we taught him to instead yell, &quot;Help!  She's getting my toys!&quot; as a cue for us to intervene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T10:21:41.297" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7068" CreationDate="2013-01-02T12:43:11.033" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good portion of the world believes in Santa, the tooth fairy etc - and it doesn't seem to damage them. These beliefs tend to go once kids get older, but I believe that encouraging the imagination as long as you can will help children remain creative as adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty certain my eldest knows the tooth fairy is not true, now he is a secondary school, but he plays along with the excitement for the benefit of his little sisters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This year the kids got letters back from Santa (postmarked the North Pole - very convincing) and they loved it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T12:43:11.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7068" CreationDate="2013-01-02T14:35:42.630" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;(As a preliminary matter, we don't do Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, etc. in our house, but I don't see anything wrong with them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fostering myths about make-believe creatures like the tooth fairy is a form of lying, traditional and cute though it may be at the time.  I understand your question to be based on worrying that the more in-depth lie involved in writing responses to your daughter's letters will hurt her &lt;em&gt;worse than the basic lie might have on its own&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Legions of kids make it to adulthood without major trauma resulting from learning the truth about the tooth fairy.  And no matter what, I can't see any EXTRA harm at all resulting even temporarily from a few cute replies to your daughter's letters.  If anything, she will hopefully appreciate the time you put into giving her good feelings as a small child.  Now that you've bought into the tooth fairy bit, full speed ahead!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T14:35:42.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6872" CreationDate="2013-01-02T16:12:54.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't see a problem, because knowledge is not the same as information.  If a piece of information is sought in a web or other electronic search, it can be likened to looking things up in books, except for some major differences, including but not limited to:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;All accesses occur much more quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The correct information is easier to find quickly via index searches, both because of the speed of access and because the searches can be &quot;smart&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The information itself is vastly easier to cross-link, just as it is easier to follow such links.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, let's consider why a child (or anyone) would look something up in a web resource.  Either it is in support of in-depth learning, e.g. an information tidbit is needed to support writing a school report or some other project, to understand a difficult passage in a text, etc.; or it is sought for basic curiosity, perhaps to understand a news item or a discussion board post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see the harm in those aspects.  Speed of information access helps to offset the vast and increasing amounts of information today.  Electronic tools can ease learning just as well as they can ease satisfaction of curiosity; but even for the latter, I see some potential learning benefits (e.g. certain news items become better understood, and discussions on messaging boards can become more informed over time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ETA:&lt;/strong&gt; If you are concerned about a child finding the answers to problems she is supposed to work herself, I suppose that is a potential issue.  I wouldn't call that using the Internet as an aid, but rather as a cheating tool.  Anti-cheating measures can include the use of plagiarism checkers and disallowing unrestricted access to sites where students may ask for homework help.  Luckily, the answers to most math questions are not posted online, though the answers to some old chestnuts may be.  Monitoring and restricting online access has to be part of the solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mere fact of some reliance on a useful tool does not necessarily make it harmful either.  In your Wikipedia example, the children might have grown to find Wikipedia so useful as a place for beginning research that they were at a loss in its absence, perhaps because they were unaware of other online resources that could help fill the void.  For people who grew up doing homework research nearly exclusively in books, it may seem lazy to instantly conclude one is unable to to do research without electronic tools, but we also don't know the whole story in each case.  In any event I don't think that's necessarily laziness talking, but rather ignorance of other research tools or methods.  I can tell you that my seven-year-old child wouldn't be able to get to our town library without my help, and a request to do so based on an online outage might find &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; griping on Twitter (it's a good 15 minutes away, plus wait time while the child browses).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will computer use impact the amount, or at least ratio, of memorized information? Possibly, but there is more information to deal with today than a hundred years ago; life is more complex, and the information load necessary to become tops in any field is greater too. Information is not knowledge either, and there's no indication that with proper learning supports, the electronic age in and of itself is impeding learning.  Too much screen time with non-educational subjects may do that, but not simply easing access to information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, the main problem with internet access for children, aside from online safety, is that a lot of content is entertainment with little to no educational value, and that goes even for sites which are aimed squarely at education.  My older chlid's school uses a certain e-learning tool called CompassLearning Odyssey, paying for subscriptions to it, and in my opinion that is a good example of a low-quality product: too many cartoons, too much stimulation.  The same child also conned me into allowing extended play on a website called &quot;PopTropica&quot;, on the basis that it was educational, but I thought differently after actually reviewing it. I'm leery of such things the way I avoid electronic toys for infants which reward each interaction with sounds and flashing lights: I'm afraid that my children will become conditioned to need such stimulation in order to stay focused, and I don't like anything which tends to dilute valid informational content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I have found plenty of online resources that are wonderful.  BBC's &quot;Dance Mat Typing&quot; is actually the best typing software I've found for kids, having bought several others.  Khan Academy videos are fun for my kids and they do learn from them, instead of just looking information up.  And when it comes to lookups, my older son uses dictionary.com all the time-- and I can't see the harm in him looking up words online versus in a paper dictionary; it just saves time and allows quick browsing to related terms, which can only help to stimulate interest in words and a broader vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents will of course draw lines in different places as to what educational content is valuable and what isn't.  I would just make sure that you strictly control access to online sites, including the use of &quot;net nanny&quot; type of software for safety reasons as well as to make sure you vet each new site for appropriateness.  And take time to really find out about each site your children want to use, as well as finding new ones for them; read reviews, and actually use the sites yourself.  Don't assume that just because a teacher or school recommends a site, it is valuable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2013-01-02T21:04:12.473" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T21:04:12.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2013-01-02T16:29:38.363" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son went from crawling to standing and walking later, that is like 15 months.  What did it for him was playing around other kids of a similar age who had learned to walk.  Apparently he wanted to walk so that he could play with his little playgroup.  We tried holding his hands while standing and walking, we tried having him hold the edge of objects such as the sofa and low tables and all kinds of things, but in the end we didn't convince him to give up crawling to stand and walk he convinced himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3069" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T16:29:38.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6617" CreationDate="2013-01-02T17:28:26.877" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, cursive is not necessary today.  Arguments for teaching cursive that I have read include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That it is a holdover from a bygone era, when everything was more graceful and just &lt;em&gt;better&lt;/em&gt;.  I guess that might be true in some ways, but in my experience, trying to read sloppy/quick cursive is sheer torture, more than with printing.  There are studies showing that printing is in general easier to read, which I guess would be due in part to still-increasing reading of print letters on paper and computer screens.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That it is faster than printing.  The claim usually runs that cursive is faster because one winds up lifting the writing implement from the page less often.  In fact research does not generally support speed benefits for cursive, though there has been little comparative research in this area; the few studies either show comparable speed or that printing is slightly faster, and that a mixed style is fastest (especially if print-dominated).  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That it confers occupational-therapeutic benefits. Statements offered in support tend to be non-research-based, but rather comments from practitioners using cursive, making quasi-scientific statements about cursive involving more areas of the brain and resulting in benefits on that basis. Thus I haven't seen solid support for this, though I haven't seen anything disproving it either, and I don't think it's relevant to most children anyway.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is apparently some support for the idea that difficulty in learning cursive is a red flag for dyslexia and dysgraphia; there are testimonials from parents and others that dyslexic/dysgraphic children do better with cursive, mainly because of increased neatness and decreased b-d reversals.  I have in the past found references to statements by expert Susan Barton that cursive does not convey real benefits for these children, but I've never seen research support one way or the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That it is useful.  Arguments in support of this idea often bring up the SAT, which still apparently features an academic-honesty statement at the end which is asked to be written in cursive (counterpoint: they accept printed statements nonetheless), historical documents (counterpoints: learning to read cursive is much easier and faster than laboriously practicing writing in it over the space of years; archaic script forms are likely to be no more legible to non-historian modern cursive users than to non-historian print users), and prescriptions (counterpoint: prescriptions are steadily going electronic, cursive is easier to learn to read than to write).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think Meg Coates and others gave some good thoughts on keyboarding, so I won't tack much onto that subject's discussion, except to mention that my seven-year-old child found BBC's free online &quot;Dance Mat Typing&quot; to be the easiest and most fun of the keyboarding software we've used.  He also seemed to pick it up fairly quickly, but he has good motor skills to start with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-12-13T10:21:44.710" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T10:21:44.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7075" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7078" CreationDate="2013-01-02T18:17:23.467" Score="2" ViewCount="4247" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is my second pregnancy. I had pretty bad nausea and vomitting with my first child, but not bad enough to be HG. This time, I feel like the nausea and vomitting is much worse. I'm only about 7 weeks, and I've been throwing up nearly daily (multiple times a day) for about a week now. Yesterday I threw up 4 times, more than I ever threw up on one day with my first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it possible that I have &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperemesis_gravidarum&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;HG&lt;/a&gt;? Can you have it in a second pregnancy if you didn't have it the first?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3618" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-03T00:55:07.853" LastActivityDate="2021-04-26T04:09:17.523" Title="Hyperemesis in second pregnancy if not in first?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7075" CreationDate="2013-01-02T18:53:50.070" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe it is possible to have hyperemesis in any pregnancy.  However vomitting more times during a subsequent pregnancy does not automatically mean hyperemesis.  I had morning sickness during my first pregnancy that occasionally included vomitting up to five times a day and I vomitted 3 times a day for a few weeks.  That was not hyperemesis.  My medical provider said that morning sickness to require medical attention until I was unable to keep any food or fluids down for 24 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperemesis_gravidarum#Symptoms&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hyperemesis&lt;/a&gt; includes a significant loss of body weight (5% or more), dehydration, and can lead to keytones in the urine and other serious conditions for mother and baby if not treated.  It is usually diagnosed based on dehydration or weight loss.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even without HG, even without keeping nothing down for 24 hours, it is quite possible to be morning sick enough to find daily life difficult.  In that case you should consult with your medical provider about medication.  In the United States Zofran is a commonly proscribed anti-morning sickness drug.  Even if you do not have hyperemesis you should speak to your provider if you are having difficulty due to morning sickness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T18:53:50.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7075" CreationDate="2013-01-02T19:35:52.900" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had severe nausea during my one and only pregnancy and yet have been told by medical staff that a second might be perfectly normal and vice-versa.  I had a doctor tell me at the end that I &lt;strong&gt;might&lt;/strong&gt; have had hyperemesis, but that she had just learned about it.  Since I only had three weeks left, it was never officially diagnosed or anything, but I got some extra help anyway.  From what I know, there really isn't an official way to &quot;diagnose&quot; hyperememsis.  They will test your urine and there is some thought that it is related to levels of hCG (which I had a very high incidence of even in my second trimester).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all doctors and nurses know about it so &lt;strong&gt;ask about it at your next check-up&lt;/strong&gt;.  If you go more than 24 hours without food staying down (or, even more importantly, water).  Go into an urgent care facility, get rehydrated and get help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, in regard to helping with the sickness you are dealing with, HP or not, have a dry cracker or granola bar near your bed when you go to sleep at night.  One good way to stave off actually getting sick (even if you feel really sick), is by always having a few bites and never letting yourself get truly hungry.  Just a nibble or two before you actually get up out of bed, followed by a few sips of water can make a &lt;strong&gt;huge&lt;/strong&gt; difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My OB recommended taking a daily vitamin (which I usually didn't keep down because it made me feel sick too), but again, I did find that taken with a bit of food, I was more likely to keep it down a little longer (if not, getting sick when there is food in there is a lot less unpleasant than when your stomach is empty).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, extra B12 helped a little, avoiding gassy foods and acidic foods helped ease the symptoms somewhat &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; listen to your cravings and aversions.  You are pregnant so you don't have to politely eat that (fill in the blank here) that your friend made for dinner and brought over - even if you do need to politely say thanks and offer it to your husband to eat ;-/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mention your concerns to your doctor and take heart!  Even though I struggled for 8 of 9 months, lost over 5 lbs over the course of the whole pregnancy (instead of gaining), and had to have a drip to get hydrated a couple of times, my baby was above average in weight and length and perfectly healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-02T19:47:22.447" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T19:47:22.447" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7079" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7080" CreationDate="2013-01-02T21:13:50.743" Score="2" ViewCount="232" Body="&lt;p&gt;We live in an area that is relatively new to me.  Since moving here, I've found that there are some colloquial phrasings specific to this region that are particularly jarring to my ear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, &lt;a href=&quot;https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/5407/central-pennsylvanian-english-speakers-what-are-the-limitations-on-the-needs-w&quot;&gt;if a verb like needs is followed by a passive construction in the infinitive, the &quot;to be&quot; portion is left out&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then again, I have my own regional colloquialisms that are grammatically incorrect, yet to which my &quot;syntax ear&quot; is apparently deaf.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given how pervasive some of these are, I suspect that the public school system will not put much, if any, effort into enforcing the more &quot;standard&quot; phrasings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this something that I should be worried about?  Should I try to teach my children not to use the colloquial phrases, or at least make them aware that not everyone speaks like this?  How should I go about doing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:38:46.763" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T23:58:16.253" Title="How do you teach your children about regional colloquialisms?" Tags="|education|language-development|language|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7079" CreationDate="2013-01-02T23:58:16.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a Border Northerner living in the Southwest, I run into this &lt;strong&gt;all the time&lt;/strong&gt;.  We even have different names for certain things.  Additionally, since I love British Literature, we read a lot that introduces my little girl to other ways to phrase (and even spell things) all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've met kids with parents from the UK and New Zealand and the kids sound like red-blooded Americans.  I'm afraid there isn't a lot to be done for the most part.  However, since your little one is two, if there is any particular phrase that really bothers you, I'd suggest simply treating it as you would any other grammar mistake he would make.  Do you mean, &quot;say it the correct way here?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets older, talk to him about it.  Alice has had no trouble understanding that different people speak in different ways and have different names for things.  She actually starts sounding a bit more like an islander (where I am from) during the summers when we are up there for a couple of months, and then reverts back when we return south in the fall - I really don't think it is even anything she is conscious of doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to proper speaking over-all, I wouldn't personally become too concerned unless you are in an area where the dialect is so strong it would be difficult for others to understand him if he were to travel.  There is a time and place for casual language with friends too.  There are times when proper speech is important and you can work with him on sorting this out the same way you would teach the difference between say, texting messages and formal reports as he grows and is more ready for those sorts of intricacies. Kids are better at getting all that sorted out than parents often give them credit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I once had a mother concerned over her son's spoken English because she used broken English herself.  He spoke with her at home in their home language or at her level of English and then came to school (in Middle School) and had grammar just as good as any of his peers.  She'd never heard him speak outside home and wasn't aware of how well he did speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as he knows what the &quot;correct&quot; usage is by the time he is leaving for college and when to use it, he will probably be just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-01-02T23:58:16.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7081" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7083" CreationDate="2013-01-03T01:38:09.233" Score="2" ViewCount="160" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the process of researching a few of the toys our twins received for Christmas I found a blog post that pointed out a few of them may contain PVC.  I figured I should do due diligence to best understand what information is available about &quot;toxic toys&quot;.  Are there any well cited studies documenting the dangers (or lack thereof) of PVC to infants and children?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do the studies indicate regarding risks of exposure, ways to mitigate risk, etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The response below from one of the companies in question is a large reason I ask this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We’re so glad you contacted us! Safety is number one here at &lt;em&gt;omitted&lt;/em&gt;. &#xA;  The well-being of the children who play with our toys is our top&#xA;  priority.  We diligently monitor our products throughout every step of&#xA;  their existence, from the drawing board to production to store&#xA;  shelves. Our toys are manufactured to the strictest safety standards,&#xA;  both domestically and internationally. We’re proud to say that our&#xA;  toys are some of the most rigorously tested children's products in the&#xA;  world.  In the end, all of our products are evaluated and approved as&#xA;  non-toxic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your concerns are valid and we want to assure you that we are&#xA;  dedicated to making the safest toys in the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1286" LastEditorUserId="1286" LastEditDate="2013-01-03T18:26:10.653" LastActivityDate="2013-01-04T02:13:59.800" Title="Are there studies that have published the studied effects of PVC plastics on infants and children?" Tags="|health|development|safety|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7081" CreationDate="2013-01-03T07:12:00.343" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, there are many such &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&amp;amp;q=PVC%20plastic%20%28infant%20OR%20child%20OR%20children%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;studies&lt;/a&gt;.  It would be hard for a layperson to synthesize the large amounts of research that have been done in this area, and I won't attempt to do so, since I wouldn't be able to quickly figure out just which studies are the most well-regarded ones, nor pick a representative enough sample to show the full range of effects, let alone properly construe all the results in light of each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Websites seem to advocate just staying away from PVC, including by looking for &quot;PVC&quot; or &quot;#3&quot; on the packaging, especially near the recyclability icon for U.S. products.  Here's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychild.org/blog/comments/pvc_the_most_toxic_plastic/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sample&lt;/a&gt;.  Of course, these types of consumer-oriented sites may not be what you're looking for, as they are heavy on generalizations and often light on citations to research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned about the toys from a particular manufacturer, I'd run a web search (not one for research studies) to see if you can find credible info on their PVC content, and check the packaging before buying in person, or just after receipt if buying by mail.  If the toys at issue seem to contain PVC, just avoid them.  You might want to check for lead content as well, while you're at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to find out PVC consumer protection rules, those will likely be available on government websites.  Once you find out acceptable types and levels of PVC in consumer products, if you wanted to determine your or your family's residual exposure to harmful effects, I'm afraid you'll be stuck reviewing the scientific and medical research again, where laypeople aren't the best resource.  Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2013-01-03T19:37:34.930" LastActivityDate="2013-01-03T19:37:34.930" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7085" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7086" CreationDate="2013-01-03T16:49:20.180" Score="5" ViewCount="2223" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am curious to any research or theories to where children develop their intellectual curiosity. I want to be able to do everything I can to help nurture this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1973" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T19:48:02.503" Title="Where does a child's intellectual curiosity come from?" Tags="|development|education|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7085" CreationDate="2013-01-03T18:50:49.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sudval.com/essays/082008.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; has some interesting insights to why humans are curious, but if by intellectual curiosity you mean academic curiosity, I think everyone has a bit of it in them; it's just a matter of allowing them to choose what they want to discover. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, for someone who wants to program video games, physics (and in turn calculus), art, and sometimes anatomy/biology to understand how to create realistic characters are required. While video games might not seem very intellectual, most academic subjects are related to other things (in my example physics, calculus, art, and anatomy/biology are related to video game programming). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the only thing that needs to be done to nurture curiosity is to make sure resources are available to your child, which could mean anything from going to the library, to showing him/her how to find answers to questions on the internet or through books, or going to a museum every now and then. Allowing the child to explore what they want when they want to is what's most important because that's what will cause them to retain information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Sudbury Valley model of schooling and unschooling may also be of interest of you're curious about nurturing a child's intellectual curiosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Click &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alfie-kohn/teacher-education-students_b_946575.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; for another interesting article on education and curiosity&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3622" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-01-04T09:22:16.867" LastActivityDate="2013-01-04T09:22:16.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2013-01-03T19:15:50.467" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I scrambled some eggs up and added them to some pancake batter for my son. He never knew! I'm also going to experiment adding breadcrumbs to eggs and see if the texture is different enough for him like that for days I don't want to make pancakes&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3623" LastActivityDate="2013-01-03T19:15:50.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7047" CreationDate="2013-01-03T20:12:02.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 20-month-old has started doing the same thing.  USUALLY we can determine the cause (wants a marker that his sister has, for example), but as he's too young to verbalize it very well we've been doing a few things that seem to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Redirect: if we see an impending meltdown or hit coming, we redirect to a new toy/activity/anything to distract him. His attention span is that of a distracted kitten so if we can capture it we're golden.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Timeouts:  if he gets a hit in, into timeout he goes.  He doesn't really grok it yet, but he does get upset because he still sees his sister go into timeout from time-to-time and wail until she's done (and if Sissy doesn't like it, it must be AWFUL).  Also, it gets him away from the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reading: he loves to read, so we read &quot;Hands are not for hitting&quot; and &quot;Tails are not for pulling&quot; and &quot;I can share!&quot; every night and sometimes multiple times in the day.  We've also brought copies to daycare, to go into the usual reading rotation.  Repeating the key phrases every time (&quot;hands are NOT for hitting&quot;) does seem to work.  He's not there yet but every once in a while it stops him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One thing we used with our daughter that we're starting with him is getting down eye-to-eye and trying to help him verbalize his feelings.  &quot;Mommy, I'm mad!  I wanted to play with that bath toy!&quot; (That's me saying that to him, pretending I'm him.)  Last night he stopped hitting me and looked at me in wonder, as if to say, &quot;Finally!  I can communicate with these insane adults!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that said, the HiveMind saying for cats applies here too: all kids are different, and all kids are weird.  What works for one may or may not work for another. YMMV. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-01-03T20:12:02.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7081" CreationDate="2013-01-04T02:13:59.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;PVC is pretty much everywhere, so hard to avoid simply by removing toys. Generally speaking, PVC in its hardened state is fairly benign (compared to most any other plastic). It is extremely toxic if it burns, and it's also pretty nasty in the manufacturing process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that said, Wikipedia actually has a fairly detailed list of the safety concerns about PVC:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyvinyl_chloride#Health_and_safety&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyvinyl_chloride#Health_and_safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-01-04T02:13:59.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7085" CreationDate="2013-01-04T16:46:57.370" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can encourage curiosity - for most of the early formative years you are your children's best role model, so they will take on habits from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are curious about everything and include them in your excitement and enthusiasm, they can be encouraged to be curious too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you show cynicism about everything, then they may well end up pretty cynical.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you show utter apathy and give them no opportunity to know the excitement of finding out something new (to them) then their only hope is that a teacher in school, or something on TV sparks their interest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, you can't just drag them along to everything you want to do - that could very easily make them switch off - it mustn't be a chore for them. Be excited. Be enthusiastic. Treat things as new. Don't show - but show how to find out things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be staggeringly exciting for you as a parent to nurture and see them develop into inquisitive individuals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-04T16:46:57.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7092" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7094" CreationDate="2013-01-04T19:47:46.007" Score="6" ViewCount="267" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five year-old son has been having behavior issues at school.  To encourage him to improve, I promised to take him out to a movie whenever he had a full week of &quot;greens&quot; on the behavior chart his teacher sends home.  At the time, he was getting 3 or 4 greens a week.  Now, a couple months later, he is averaging only around one per week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, the technique isn't working.  It motivates him at home in the evenings.  He often says excitedly, &quot;I'm going to be good at school tomorrow so I can see the movie!&quot;  However, at school it isn't making any difference.  I'm not sure it's within his capabilities at the moment.  I thought it would result in postponing movies for two or three weeks, not in never being able to see a movie with him at all, so I want to back out of the deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how to go about it without undermining my credibility, though.  I don't want him to think he can just hold out until the standards are lowered.  I believe this is an exceptional circumstance, and intend to be more careful about setting standards in the future.  Any thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:  Judging from some answers, I suppose I should mention that we also do daily consequences depending on what he did.  For example, extra homework from the lesson he wasn't paying attention to.  We also praise him daily when he does a good job.  I consider that a separate issue from the five in a row requirement, which was intended to address his inconsistency.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2013-01-05T09:51:40.633" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T09:51:40.633" Title="Credibly backing out of a condition for a reward" Tags="|reward|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7092" CreationDate="2013-01-04T20:11:05.477" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you're necessarily &quot;backing out&quot;, or have to worry about him feeling he can just hold out until standards are lowered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can simply say &quot;this isn't working, since you aren't getting full weeks of 'greens'.  Let's think of something else.  We can still go to movies sometimes, when we all agree to go, but it won't be as often as if you were getting all 'greens' each week.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then follow through by coming up with another system, that has a slightly less ambitious goal as the desired outcome (since you're not sure the current goal is within his capabilities).  Whether you want to continue with the reward model is up to you, but if you do offer an incentive, make it something other than movies (and something that is still desirable, but slightly less attractive than movies every week, if possible).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-01-04T20:11:05.477" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2013-01-04T20:22:54.627" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never really thought of a parent's role as &lt;em&gt;creating&lt;/em&gt; consequences (good or bad), but as &lt;em&gt;converting&lt;/em&gt; long term consequences into short term ones.  Kids have the double handicap of both being naturally more short-sighted than adults and having more of their natural consequences be far in the future.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, the natural consequences of not paying attention in school won't occur until a child is 18 and can't get a decent job.  Parents and teachers artificially impose several smaller rewards and punishments in the short term in order to avoid much larger consequences for the child in the long term.  It's like amortizing the cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be nice if everything worthwhile was intrinsically motivational short term, but that's just not the case, even for adults.  If a natural, short term reward exists, that's certainly preferable, but not always possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-01-04T20:22:54.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4310" CreationDate="2013-01-05T01:10:26.657" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is my first post on this site.  I don't have children, but I think I can speak from the perspective of having grown up with the internet in my house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask, &quot;How to effectively explain pornography to a child&quot;.  You mention that you are specifically concerned about your children being exposed to it on the internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that before you can even consider whether or not any explanation is effective, the first step will be to make sure that your children know that they can discuss this with you. Personally, when I was a child, I would have been afraid to tell Mom and Dad that I saw something strange on the internet.  I would have been afraid they would say that I did something wrong or take away the computer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would start by clearly telling them (at 11 and 13 sounds like a good time) that there are things on the internet that are not appropriate for children (heck, I've seen things on the internet that troubled me as an adult!).  Then, explain that if they do see such a thing and are bothered by it, they can always discuss it with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T01:10:26.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7092" CreationDate="2013-01-05T03:56:20.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no need to back out in any special way.  The strategy isn't working, so just discontinue it.  I would also not replace it with another attempt at bribery.  Instead, maybe you could consider taking away privileges when he misbehaves.  If he doesn't get a green on a particular day, he might lose privileges (or a subset) for just the rest of that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm guessing, from the way his performance actually degraded after the institution of the bribe strategy, that he is actively resisting you.  I recommend the book &lt;em&gt;Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach&lt;/em&gt;, by Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley, for non-confrontational strategies in dealing with this sort of behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2013-01-05T05:01:32.597" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T05:01:32.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7092" CreationDate="2013-01-05T06:22:02.040" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A problem with having an all-or-nothing reward (5/5 required) is that once he fails on one day there is no longer any incentive for the whole week.  You want to be able to play the &quot;you can still turn it around&quot; card.  One way to get around it is to have a medium level reward and a high level reward for the week.  As others have mentioned it can be helpful to come up with a &quot;menu&quot; of rewards for both levels that includes input from the child&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, I think it is hard for many 5 yr olds to really anticipate a reward that is several days out in the future.  You can offer a daily reward that is much closer to the actual events of the day- for example earn playing a video game on your phone on the ride home from school.  If you do this make sure the teacher knows the reward so she can use it as an incentive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1429" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T06:22:02.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2013-01-05T06:53:38.250" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rewards are used to reinforce positive behaviors, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to give gifts in every good behavior that the child does.  Select only those behavior which you think can be considered as milestone for the kids. For example, if they get high marks in a particular subject that they are having difficulty for the past few days, you can the child a treat, to reward his or her hard work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, rewards does not only mean giving material gift, saying good job, great, a nod, or a smile, or a praise can already mean something for the child.  You don't have to give them material things.  Sometimes, an appreciation means so much for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T06:53:38.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2013-01-05T07:09:40.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before my 1 year and 11 month old son doesn't like to eat eggs, he is also a picky eater.  But now, he loves eat only boiled eggs.  There are several things that I am doing to make him like other foods aside from the regular stuff that he likes to eat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I find creative ways to prepare foods, like when he sees it, he would say wow and he will be encourage to eat.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We all ate together, so he can see and follow what we are doing. More often than not, he actually does, what he sees.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is also a good idea, if he sees children of similar age, eating a particular food together.  Before my son doesn't like eating crackers, but when we visited my grandparents home, and he saw his cousins eating crackers, he was also very eager to eat crackers and he was able to consume 2 packs!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are other techniques that you can use.  Just look for the technique that will work for your child.  Every kid is different, so it really takes a lot of patience and asking the experts so you can have an idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T07:09:40.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2013-01-05T07:24:26.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read from Parenting.com's Learning to Walk - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/learning-to-walk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parenting.com/article/learning-to-walk&lt;/a&gt; article that the range for baby's to start walking can be around 9 to 18 months.  Some babies can already start walking when they reach their first birthday but there are some babies who takes some time before they can walk.  Interestingly there are even some babies who never crawls and go straight from standing from walking.  Every baby differs in their levels of progress.  As long as you see that your baby is trying to roll around, climb stairs using hands, or tries to crab walking, these are positive signs that he can walk sooner.  There are also some suggestions written in the article on how you can encourage your child to walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T07:24:26.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6831" CreationDate="2013-01-05T07:35:54.997" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a link in the video, I found on You Tube about some techniques on pregnancy massage to give you some idea - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Back Massage&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvTjNPWF7-Y&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvTjNPWF7-Y&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Arms, Legs, Thigh&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOtSgqWaNsk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOtSgqWaNsk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorUserId="2137" LastEditDate="2013-01-07T14:24:41.890" LastActivityDate="2013-01-07T14:24:41.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6903" CreationDate="2013-01-05T08:04:36.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can choose a holiday or special occasion, and then after dinner time, you can give them the ultrasound result, placed on a baby stuff.  They could easily guess that. :) Congratulations!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T08:04:36.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7024" CreationDate="2013-01-05T08:15:17.183" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand how you feel and I am sorry to hear about the effects of your parent's separation.  We really cannot choose the kind of life that we will be given or the parents that we will have.  But it is in your hands on how you can accept the situation and do something to improve it.  I understand that you want to have your freedom, but you can't just leave your mom alone and financially, you are not yet capable of living independently.  I suggest why not, set a day in a week, where you can have a mom day.  Like you go home early on Wednesday night, say for example, so you can have a dinner with your mom, and then you can also do other stuff on weekends, if you feel like you don't have your personal life anymore. It's really very hard to find time when you are busy with a lot of things, but if you really want to have quality time with your parents, then set a date, even once in a week, where you can spend it only to them.  For your dad, you can invite him to come over on a particular date, or you can go there, if your schedule permits.  Your parents are missing you, so they are asking for your time.  Anyhow, an hour of quality time, means a lot for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T08:15:17.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2013-01-05T08:30:51.730" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, you should not wake up your baby to feed him.  I also breastfeed my son, and when he was at this age, he would sleep for a few hours only, and then I am always on his side ready to feed him. The first two weeks and months, were really tiring because I really have to wake up several times at night to feed him.  I remember not having enough sleep for the entire week.  It is just a process, in time, your son will sleep whole night, and then you can just prepare his milk when he wakes up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every child is different, so there are really different schedules when it comes to feeding.  That's the reason why there are different techniques when it comes to feeding.  As long, as your child's growth chart has an established growth pattern over time, this means that your baby is doing just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:31:51.330" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:31:51.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1463" CreationDate="2013-01-05T08:34:16.693" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a special case, so it is best to consult your doctor about it.  I agree with the earlier comment, that only your doctor can give you sound and professional advice regarding this matter, since he knows your baby's condition.  It is also best to read stuff on how you can help your baby to gain weight and so on, so you can fully support their growing up years.   Congratulations to your new baby!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:31:24.610" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:31:24.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2529" CreationDate="2013-01-05T08:42:20.950" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have to wait for him to reach 6 months old, so you can give him baby food.  For the meantime, you really have to patiently wake up at night for feeding.  I also have similar experience with my son, when he was at this age, it is really very tiring, but we really have to adjust on your baby's feeding schedule.  With this, you can assure that they will have a stable growth and development - &lt;a href=&quot;http://goarticles.com/article/Understanding-The-Baby-Weight-Percentile/7165388/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://goarticles.com/article/Understanding-The-Baby-Weight-Percentile/7165388/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T08:42:20.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7111" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7114" CreationDate="2013-01-05T08:46:31.613" Score="3" ViewCount="500" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a child, I learned basic mathematics (addition, subtraction) through practice and memorization of basics (6 + 7 = 13).  However, while I was visiting a child (5 yrs. old) over New Year's, I found that she was unable to perform even simple addition (11+7) without the aid of a number line.  Is there any way to prevent these aids from turning into crutches?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3082" LastActivityDate="2015-03-26T23:26:53.580" Title="Teaching mathematics to young children" Tags="|education|primary-schooler|math|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7111" CreationDate="2013-01-05T09:56:50.777" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was 3 year old, my dad gave me a calculator and taught me to use it for addition and multiplication. I started playing with it and memorising the results, so at 4 I was already able not to use the calculator. So the calculation aids are not necessarily evil. Sometimes they help. Why don't you just play with the kid, so that the kid asks you question like what is 6 + 7, you answer, say, 15, and the kid corrects you? This way, they memorise the answers joyfully. My 4-year-old daughter is now using a wall calendar as a calculation aid, also it helps her to memorise the order of numbers up to 31. And I am trying not to hide the aid from her but to exploit her curiosity on the calendar. Whatever tool kids use, the goal, as I see it, is to encourage them to do math! Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3632" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T09:56:50.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7111" CreationDate="2013-01-05T12:44:08.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are loads of tools which act as aids to memorisation, but that is exactly what they are - aids to &lt;strong&gt;memorisation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wall charts of multiplication tables are an excellent way to get kids to memorise the times tables up to 12, but to help instil in them memorisation, we got ours to learn the 13 times table using the same concepts, but without any chart in front of them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Number lines are good, but you need to encourage the child to work through in their head what a number line is doing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making a game, as Dima says, is a great idea - maths needs to be exciting. My eldest two love &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/user/numberphile&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Numberphile&lt;/a&gt; videos, which make various number concepts very interesting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T12:44:08.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7111" CreationDate="2013-01-05T16:22:26.763" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is my belief that facts are only memorized when there is a motivation to do so, and that by far the best motivation is relevance to something the individual cares about.  Thus memorizing facts on their own is hard, but doing interesting problems which require those facts will lead to natural memorization through repetition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore I would recommend activities that require math but are not rote practice.  For instance, dice games such as backgammon, yahtzee, and board games require the numbers up to 6 to be repeatedly added.  Under this approach the child should progress from using the number line, to mentally visualizing a number line, to simply memorizing the sums and differences through natural repetition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final comment, I would rather that a child laboriously compute solutions from first principles rather than progress too rapidly to memorization of results without understanding how they were obtained.  In the first case they are much better equipped to handle problems that go beyond what they have previously encountered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3616" LastActivityDate="2013-01-05T16:22:26.763" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2013-01-05T18:32:45.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's relevant or important for this case, but it may be interesting anyway because it's (allegedly) a scientific study about inbreeding and age difference:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the German Wikipedia article about &lt;a href=&quot;http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inzucht#Inzuchtvermeidung&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;inbreeding&lt;/a&gt; it reads:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Untersuchungen zeigten, dass Menschen als Erwachsene denjenigen gegenüber eine erotische Barriere haben, die sie in den ersten fünf Lebensjahren gut kannten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which can be translated to: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;studies showed that grownups had an &quot;erotic barrier&quot; for people that they knew very well in their first 5 life years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't link a source, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; It’s called the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck_effect&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Westermarck effect&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The Westermarck effect, or reverse sexual imprinting, is a hypothetical psychological effect through which people who live in close domestic proximity during the first few years of their lives become desensitized to later sexual attraction. This phenomenon, one explanation for the incest taboo, was first hypothesized by Finnish anthropologist Edvard Westermarck in his book The History of Human Marriage (1891). Observations interpreted as evidence for the Westermarck effect have since been made in many places and cultures, including in the Israeli kibbutz system, and the Chinese Shim-pua marriage customs, as well as in biological-related families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3634" LastEditorUserId="3634" LastEditDate="2013-08-07T11:34:02.853" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T11:34:02.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7116" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-05T23:47:28.860" Score="8" ViewCount="51575" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 month old newborn has been waking up every 15 minutes to every hour during the night for 4 weeks and we have tried everything from Baby Wise to Baby Whisperer to the No cry Sleep Solution with no results. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, she seems worse now more than ever! She refuses to be swaddled and we stick to the same schedule every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bathe her between 6:30 and 7pm every night and she gets her last bottle between 730p and 8p. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She used to sleep an initial 3 hrs before waking and then wake every 1.5 -2 hrs. Now, most nights she does not sleep a 3 hr stretch initially and will just do maybe 1.5- 2hrs and then she is up like every 15-20 minutes most of the night with maybe a 1 hr stretch if we are lucky. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are going crazy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have spoken with the pediatrician and we have taken her in to eliminate the possibility of her being sick. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is on a combination of breast milk and soy formula and has been exclusively since she was born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She takes 3 naps a day that last between 45 minutes to 1.5 hrs and feeds every 2 hrs (she won't go more than 2 hrs w/o a feeding- we have tried). We are exhausted beyond comprehension and we don't know what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3635" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-06T13:57:37.513" LastActivityDate="2017-03-17T14:09:02.493" Title="My 3 month old gets up 10-15 times a night?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7111" CreationDate="2013-01-06T02:53:24.120" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have never met a child of older age (say, 7 or older) who had learned to use a number line, and who required it to do any sort of addition.  Besides chance meetings with children over the years, for a while I tutored grade-schoolers in math. I've never heard of over-reliance on number lines being an issue, either.  Thus I don't think there is much risk at all of that particular aid turning into a requirement long-term.  Number lines are useful aids in developing number sense, and are not to be feared.  (Calculators may be another matter when used improperly; for instance, promotion of calculator use is an oft-criticized feature of the Everyday Math curriculum.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many math curriculums for young children promote heavy use of manipulatives, with a good example being Cuisenaire and similar rods.  Miquon Math is a well-regarded curriculum based heavily on use of such tools, and there is no indication that it leads to dependence on them later on.  Singapore Math is an excellent primary math curriculum that features plenty of work with number lines across multiple years.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.corestandards.org/assets/CCSSI_Math%20Standards.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Common Core math standards&lt;/a&gt; even show a guideline requirement that children must be able to represent addition on a number line-- by second grade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking a step back, I wonder why you are worried over the math learning of a child who's so young, and whom you were merely visiting and presumably see only rarely.  I think that you may not understand the wide variance in learning milestones among young children, based on physical cognitive development, family coaching/stimulation of learning in various areas and attitude towards learning in general, and prior learning environments outside the home.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, Waldorf teaching often results in delaying mathematics instruction significantly, and in some developed countries it is not abnormal to start kindergarten until age six or even seven.  Here in the U.S., &quot;redshirting&quot;, or holding children back in the hopes of fostering more maturity and perceived academic excellence compared to grade peers, results in many children entering kindergarten at age six.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/five/mathematics.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;PBS developmental milestones&lt;/a&gt; show that the child you mentioned is not doing badly when generally compared against age peers, and would not be out of place in a room with six-year-old children.  At such ages, it is not unusual for simple math to be counting-based for many children, where a number line makes a lot more sense, and is certainly better suited as an aid than counting on fingers. (Elimination of counting on fingers is one of the potential benefits of using other aids such as rods, but it's not the end of the world when a kindergartner does teens arithmetic in this way, especially as many kindergartners cannot.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, there is no significant chance that any child will over-rely on number lines to do basic math as they get older, and there are significant benefits to using them in developing number sense.  The particular five-year-old you visited is doing just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2013-01-06T04:24:23.277" LastActivityDate="2013-01-06T04:24:23.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7116" CreationDate="2013-01-06T05:47:23.500" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're in a tough spot. It's hard having a 3 month old. If you're feeding her every 2 hours-- then she's waking up-- it may be that getting more milk into her will help her sleep longer. Try feeding her for 10 minutes, then burping for 2-5 minutes, then feeding for 10 minutes more. Then burp her again and top her off with another 5-10 minute feed. If you can get her to empty full breasts completely or take at least 3-4 ounces of milk, she may sleep longer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's fed and has a clean diaper, and she isn't sick, then it's okay for her to be awake. As long as she has an opportunity to sleep, then if she needs it, she will sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If her pediatrician says she's growing well, then she's getting enough milk and sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the problem is that you aren't sleeping. If she's fed and dry, and in a safe place like a crib, then it's okay for you to sleep. You have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also a good idea to ask friends and family who have cared for infants to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2013-01-06T05:47:23.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7119" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7120" CreationDate="2013-01-06T05:52:32.553" Score="6" ViewCount="438" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have previously asked the question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7111/teaching-mathematics-to-young-children&quot;&gt;teaching mathematics to young children&lt;/a&gt; about reliance on aids, but now I face this issue with the students I tutor.  Seeing as many parents I know have also complained about this issue, I decided to ask it here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to Piaget, the formal operational stage of cognition should occur sometime after &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.simplypsychology.org/formal-operational.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;age 11&lt;/a&gt;.  I have students who are 17 years old and still cannot abstract away from concrete subjects (like number of tissues, etc.) towards more abstract concepts.  Should I, as a tutor, and the parents of those students worry about this apparent delay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3082" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-25T13:48:12.047" LastActivityDate="2019-02-25T13:48:12.047" Title="Mathematics concepts for older children and teens" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|teaching|cognitive-development|math|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7119" CreationDate="2013-01-06T06:10:31.380" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Piaget's developmental stage theory, despite its wide-ranging impact on education, is &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piaget%27s_theory_of_cognitive_development#Challenges_to_Piagetian_stage_theory&quot;&gt;highly&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.com/info_10005536_points-jean-piaget-theory.html&quot;&gt;questionable&lt;/a&gt; today in many respects. His research methods were erroneous, and there is plenty of evidence that his overly rigid stage concept is wrong.  Milestones based on the theory are also questionable, and in any event general milestones cannot be used to predict individual results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I would be concerned about students who can't think abstractly at all by age 17.  I would think that either some sort of cognitive problem is involved, or that they've simply been poorly taught.  What is the educational background of the children involved?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just as one would not expect creationism to result in a strong science foundation, in my opinion the excessive focus of some modern curricula (e.g. Everyday Math) on &quot;discovery&quot; of number bonds and concrete play in elementary years, with so little focus on abstract thought, hobbles the development of abstract intellectual ability.  I would expect a child who had been taught correctly with, say, Singapore Math to have some decent abstract thinking skills in place by middle school (barring some cognitive deficit).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are of course plenty of ways to develop logical and abstract thought, so I wouldn't give up on those 17-year-olds. I'd start by figuring out where things went wrong for them, then start giving them the foundation in prealgebra, critical thinking and problem solving that they're probably lacking at present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2013-01-06T06:18:26.230" LastActivityDate="2013-01-06T06:18:26.230" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7085" CreationDate="2013-01-06T07:03:18.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know whether I could wave my hand here or not. If this doesn't satisfy anyone, please downvote or comment and I'll delete this...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child's &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curiosity&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;curiosity&lt;/a&gt; starts occurring predominantly from around the age of 5 or 6 and starts decreasing exponentially with increase in knowledge. I mean, the curiosity behavior depends on various factors like,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;which field he likes (i.e) spending most of time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;whether he gets rewarded, motivated, anticipated or encouraged in that field by someone (parent, guardian, friend, brother or some sort of stranger - &lt;em&gt;like we've seen in many movies&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the start (around &lt;strong&gt;5 years&lt;/strong&gt;), they're curious of everything. Like when you're walking on the road, they wonder about everything and start &lt;em&gt;bugging&lt;/em&gt;, &amp;quot;How does this car go fast?&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;How does that plane go so high?&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;What is this one?, that one?&amp;quot;. Most probably, Children don't care of nature, etc (very rare &lt;em&gt;smart&lt;/em&gt; cases will ask about everything). Their questions mostly arise in technology or mechanics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever they ask a question to you, just try to explain them. If you can't (for example, if he asks &amp;quot;What is the temperature of sun?&amp;quot; - a question arriving around 8 years), ask your friends, take him to a planetarium or some astronomical park (like that), hang along with him and find the answer and explain it to him (&lt;em&gt;even though it takes a month&lt;/em&gt;)..!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sort of searching may sometimes make them think, &amp;quot;Our mom/dad will definitely answer whatever we ask them...&amp;quot; as they become mature. This is one kind of encouragement which I could recall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Around 10, (they get to know the answers to most of the things &lt;em&gt;via&lt;/em&gt; interaction in schools) - In that duration, the questions they arouse on parents would be somewhat low in quantity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A sidenote:&lt;/strong&gt; As a parent, you must be &lt;em&gt;curious&lt;/em&gt; in knowing &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&amp;quot;What his interested field might be?&amp;quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; between the age of 5 and 10 (I really bet that it wouldn't be too hard to find out). But, finding it would be too late after he has crossed the barrier. Coz around 10-15, there would some fluctuations in his field (&lt;em&gt;teenage&lt;/em&gt;) and hence your investigation would be difficult to succeed. Once he has crossed 16, you don't even need to answer him. Coz, he/she might be solving the &lt;s&gt;problems&lt;/s&gt; situations in your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Conclusion:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I've learned from my past. A quote I'd like to plagiarize from my professor's speech. A quote which I won't forget..!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;This education system is awful. We are always curious in &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;How to learn it?&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt; and not &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;Why to learn this?&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;My belief:&lt;/em&gt; Better focusing the children in the &lt;strong&gt;WHY?&lt;/strong&gt; part (by parents) may nurture his curiosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3594" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-01-06T07:03:18.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2013-01-06T07:11:12.927" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may be a medical issue, and I'd definitely follow up with more medical opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is that she's simply spoiled rotten.  By this I don't mean that you have necessarily over-indulged her, but she likely feels that she is in control of the situation, not you, and there is no realistic prospect of losing the things she values the most by her disrespect.  I recommend the following books (whether or not there's a medical issue involved) for getting you thinking about ways to break your daughter's control of the situation, without escalating into confrontations.  Part of the problem is likely to be that she knows your weak spots for control, ones of which you may be unaware yourself.  If you do have regular confrontations with her, she may be getting a sort of psychological payoff from the energy of the battles.  You need to set limits and strictly enforce them, but it will be a little more complicated than that depending on the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach&lt;/em&gt;, by Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley (some new-agey language, but tons of good sense here and a system that has worked for many)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm&lt;/em&gt;, by Beth A. Grosshans, Ph.D. and Janet H. Burton, L.C.S.W. (a somewhat rigid classification of problems, but disciplinary methods that may work to reassert your control without escalation)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;From Chaos to Calm: Effective Parenting for Challenging Children with ADHD and other Behavior Problems&lt;/em&gt;, by Janet E. Heininger and Sharon K. Weiss &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Manipulative Child: How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful, and Independent Kids&lt;/em&gt;, by Ernest W. Swihart Jr. and Patrick Cotter &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastActivityDate="2013-01-06T07:11:12.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5917" CreationDate="2013-01-06T12:05:28.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple fact is P&amp;amp;T Navigator does not work with newborn and toddler.  A normal size baby of 8 lb could not fit in the drop down main seat in a cocoon as there is not enough room. The response we got from P&amp;amp;T's was laughable (see below). Holding on to it until both can be in seats, but the lack of design is almost as shocking as their insouciant attitude to the problem - a 12cm gap for a baby is not a compromise solution, as they suggest, but simply a massive design flaw when the toddler seat could easily sit higher. Not fit for newborns. Fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regards to your concerns regarding the Navigator and the use of the buggy in the newborn/toddler mode, while as with any inline buggy there may be an element of compromise, this should not effect the usability of the product. The newborn area when using in the newborn mode is compact, and while it does not offer excess room for little kicking legs, it does leave approx 12cm clearance at the shallowest point between the lay flat seat and the second seat with toddler weight in the double kit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3637" LastActivityDate="2013-01-06T12:05:28.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7116" CreationDate="2013-01-06T15:18:52.110" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she sleeps longer during the day than at night, I would focus on what's different between those two. Perhaps she doesn't like sleeping in absolute dark? Maybe she doesn't like absolute silence? Is she maybe covered more (i.e. possibly too warm) at night? Or maybe she's too cold? Does she sleep in the same place as during the day? If not, does she sleep equally long if you put her to nap wherever she normally sleeps at night? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was also a frequent waker and I found that he sleeps better when he's in bed with me. His cot was connected to our bed, and once the wakings got too frequent (around 3 or 4 AM), I would just pull him over, nurse him, then let him stay next to me for the rest of the night. This changed when he was around 5 months old, when he slept far better if there was nobody else around him. Sometimes the little ones just need more contact. (If you opt for this solution, take care to Google for some safety measures first, as not all types of beds and covers are adequate for safe co-sleeping.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-01-06T15:18:52.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7119" CreationDate="2013-01-06T21:37:55.947" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Abstract thinking requires practice.  While Piaget's theories about child development are somewhat reliable for young children, the wheels tend to come off the Piaget bus when it comes to abstract thinking and when different people acquire abstract thinking skills. New research now tells us that the adult brain is not really fully developed until well into a person's twenties.  We also know that &lt;a href=&quot;http://tasneemsayeed.hubpages.com/hub/Left_Right_Brain&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;rational and logical&lt;/a&gt; thought is primarily controlled by the left hemisphere of the brain, but teenagers are not generally rational or logical people.  They are emotional and irrational and spend most of their time living in the emotional right hemisphere of their brains thanks to their hormones and a general lack of life-experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In recent years, the push in mathematics has been to focus on the procedural knowledge (knowing &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to do something, like work a math problem) and less focus on the declarative knowledge (knowing &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; we work the math problem the way we do).  I think this has really hurt the critical thinking skills of our students because teachers are so focused on simply teaching the how and forgoing the why.  Students can work a problem, but they cannot take those skills and transfer them over to another, similar math problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can safely tell you that at age 17 my abstract thinking skills were terrible.  I wouldn't say they were non-existent, but I wouldn't call them good by any stretch of the imagination.  Unsurprisingly, I wasn't very good at algebra or geometry in high school and struggled with both.  It wasn't until I enrolled in college and began taking music theory classes that I was REALLY forced to start thinking more abstractly and more analytically (sitting and analyzing music for hours at a time will do that).  Even though I ultimately graduated with a degree in biology, those music theory classes were instrumental in my personal transition from concrete to formal operational cognition.  By this time, though, I was 18/19 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, I wouldn't be OVERLY concerned about a student who, at 17, isn't exhibiting formal operational thinking yet--unless there are other red-flags being thrown up which might indicate an undiagnosed learning disability such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dyscalculia.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;dyscalculia&lt;/a&gt; or even a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncld.org/types-learning-disabilities/adhd-related-issues/visual-processing-disorders/visual-processing-disorders&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;visual processing disorder&lt;/a&gt; which might make it difficult for a student to interpret symbols and patterns or understand math equations.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really want to work with your students on their logical and analytical thinking skills, you might try incorporating some simple logic puzzles like the ones you can find &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.logic-puzzles.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.puzzlersparadise.com/page1034.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.  Or you might introduce them to Suddoku.  You can use these as a warm-up in the first 5 minutes of your tutoring session.  It will be frustrating for them at first because they are working with a part of their brain that they are unaccustomed to using on a regular basis, but with some practice it will get easier for them.  &lt;em&gt;And&lt;/em&gt;, perhaps most importantly, you need to sit there with them and guide them through it at first until they become more comfortable doing it on their own.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-01-06T21:37:55.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2013-01-07T08:50:12.490" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;this book explains this situation and also some interesting approach that is actually quite remarkable and works!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naomialdort.com/book.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.naomialdort.com/book.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I specifically found to work really well is that sincerely taking time to focus and listen to the child really calms them down. i mean, we also want that to!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3642" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-09T20:43:31.860" LastActivityDate="2013-01-09T20:43:31.860" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7130" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7145" CreationDate="2013-01-07T08:57:59.993" Score="6" ViewCount="2487" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 17 months (500 days) old. She wakes up 2 or 3 times at night. After reading some websites, we're concerned that she might have night terrors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could be going on? What can we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3643" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-23T13:28:20.530" LastActivityDate="2019-08-23T13:28:20.530" Title="Why does my 17-month-old cry in the middle of the night?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|sleep|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7130" CreationDate="2013-01-07T09:19:38.407" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Night Terrors tend to occur at predictable times during the night; Not that observing the child will tell if the night terror will occur, but rather that it forms a regular pattern.  According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror#Treatment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;, the disorder will die off over time, and the issue will have been resolved.  If it isn't, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror#Treatment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt; suggests psychotherapy or medication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Night Terrors, distinct from Nightmares, occur at the Stage 3 - Stage 4 junction.  According to AP Psychology classes, during Stage 4 sleep, it appears as if they are completely unresponsive to stimuli.  Although these may be frightening for the parents, in the vast majority of cases there is no harm done to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TLDR&lt;/strong&gt;  Record when the night terrors occur in relation to bedtime, then wake up the child up 15 minutes before anticipated occurrence. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/night-terrors&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Source (WebMD)&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;If the TLDR section doesn't solve the issue, you may want to contact a doctor for an examination, although damage is not likely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/night-terrors&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt; Suggests removing items that may harm the child from the vicinity of the bed, as these are probably more likely to harm your child than the night terror itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3082" LastEditorUserId="3082" LastEditDate="2013-01-07T09:41:06.413" LastActivityDate="2013-01-07T09:41:06.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7116" CreationDate="2013-01-07T16:18:43.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds a little like my daughter when she was around this age.  She was an every two-hour eater, and she's still more of a snacker than a meal-eater.  I know if you've got a kid who's a two-hour eater it's VERY difficult to break them of that, but it's usually because there's an underlying issue involved. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could she have acid reflux?  Not every child with reflux spits up...some kids have &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/heartburn-gerd/guide/laryngopharyngeal-reflux-silent-reflux&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;silent reflux&lt;/a&gt; which is what my daughter had.  She would take a feeding, and a little bit later she'd start to get uncomfortable and cranky--sometimes even in the middle of the feeding.  She NEVER took more than 4 oz at a time even when she was 12 months old.  If this happened to be in the middle of the night, she'd be up in the middle of the night.  It seemed to be worse at night because she slept on her back, of course.  Naptime during the day was hit-and-miss.  Sometimes she'd be ok, and sometimes she wouldn't.  Many times naptime was better because I could actively hold her and allow her to sleep on her tummy some because I was right there watching her the whole time.  Not possible at night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/healthy-baby/PR00044&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;, acid reflux in babies peaks at around 4 months so you're daughter is right there.  You might try some simple reflux tricks just to see if it helps.  Elevate her crib mattress slightly by stuffing a pillow under it.  Keep her up-right for 15-30 minutes after a feeding (yes, this is a pain if you have a kid who eats every 2 hours, but it does seem to help some).  Make sure that the nipples on the bottles you're using aren't flowing too fast.  Swallowing too much air while taking a bottle can exacerbate the problem, and make sure you burp frequently while feeding.  If that seems to provide some relief from the problem, then you might talk to your ped about it next time you're at the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope some of this helps and you get some relief!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-01-07T16:18:43.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2013-01-07T18:12:08.137" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd have to agree with the other posters that have said you need to see some one about this situation.  Medical or not, it sounds like a therapist for the whole family may be in order if for no other reason than to make sure everyone learns some communication skills and is required to listen to each-other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have experienced kids that throw tantrums at this age that did so because there were evident behavioral and/or emotional disorders and the challenges that go with them having been a teacher at a school for kids with disabilities such as severe ADHD, Bi-polar disorder, Aspberger's, and Tourette's Syndrome to name a few, but I've also known kids that throw tantrums simply because they work.  Many times both situations applied for my students.  For all of these kids, the most helpful thing was to teach them with patience and understanding and firm limits.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are three parts to successfully eliminating a tantrum habit.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first part of calming kids is letting them know you hear their beef.  Learn how to paraphrase your daughter so she knows you understand her.  Getting in touch with a therapist will help you do this as well as set you down a path toward resolving any latent angers or fears either of you are holding toward the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Second part is in developing calming skills for the child.  This is also an area where having an expert around will be of great service to you.  You are a parent at your wits end and you need some help too.  There are a host of techniques that can be used, special breathing, visualizing, counting, squeezing a ball. . . which technique is best for your kid will depend on your kid and her particular make up.  Is there an underlying chemical element?  if so, there are also medications that can &lt;strong&gt;help&lt;/strong&gt; though they won't eliminate behaviors entirely.  Only a trained professional can help you with this.  I was not one of these, but as a teacher of kids that needed the extra help, I had access to one when one was needed for a student and they can truly work wonders. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, it is super important not to get so lost in understanding your daughter that you don't also set a boundaries for her behavior.  I always have, and probably always will, refused to converse or engage with a kid in the middle of the tantrum.  Calmly but firmly saying something like, &quot;I can't understand you while you are screaming.  Come talk to me when you've calmed down.&quot;  Is one way to set this limit on her behavior.  If your daughter knows and trusts you will listen when she is calm, she is more likely to calm down more quickly.  If she hasn't already been diagnosed with some disorder, chances are that even if there is an underlying ailment, she can still learn better ways to express her frustrations and angers and she'll need you to set stern limits and consistently stick to those limits in order to learn that her temper tantrums won't work.  Again, a professional can be helpful in advising you in this area as well.  If there isn't some underlying disorder, a family therapist can still be a critical part of your team for achieving more family peace.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-01-07T18:12:08.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5451" CreationDate="2013-01-07T18:27:58.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;9:30 am is definitely a sleep in day for me!  My kids are up for preschool by 6:30am (they wake up on their own) and they go to bed around 8pm with no problem.  They are ages 2 and 4, and both also still nap 1-2 hours in the afternoon.  If you want her to go to be earlier, she should be awake earlier....it's that simple.   :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3644" LastActivityDate="2013-01-07T18:27:58.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1293" CreationDate="2013-01-07T19:29:24.440" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;(I think that you have gotten some excellent answers from others, and am not trying to contend for &quot;accepted answer&quot;.  I thought some added information might be helpful.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://hoagiesgifted.org/identification.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Identification&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; can be important in planning to provide for gifted children's needs.  First, you may have an inaccurate sense of your child's abilities.  The term &quot;genius&quot; is subject to a wide array of interpretations; many use it in a quite restrictive way, with the idea that only a select few individuals (Einsteins, Mozarts etc.) are geniuses.  Many people also have a vague notion that only prodigies are deserving of the label &quot;genius&quot;.  Instead of thinking about whether your child is a genius or not (as he may be by some measures), it might be useful as a first step to figure out just how gifted he may be-- because profoundly gifted people may have vastly different needs from highly gifted, who are often highly different needs-wise from moderately gifted, who themselves are still different enough from average to have difficulty in a standard classroom.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(For what it's worth, your son is likely to be at least highly gifted if he is doing algebra and trigonometry at age 7, although the term &quot;algebra&quot; has undergone somewhat of an expansion in recent years; I recall one woman reporting proudly that her first grader was doing algebra, when it turned out to be simple variable replacement sort of stuff.  My son who is 7 is currently working through geometry and algebra courses simultaneously, and has been tested as &quot;profoundly gifted&quot;, again for what it's worth.  Achievement is not the same as ability, of course.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you considered &lt;a href=&quot;http://hoagiesgifted.org/testing.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;testing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;?  While testing may raise uncomfortable feelings of not wanting to pin down a child with numbers (I feel this way myself, especially as I largely subscribe to Joseph Renzulli's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gigers.com/matthias/gifted/three_rings.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;three-ring model of giftedness&lt;/a&gt; and also know that sometimes people don't perform at their best on tests), testing is likely to tell you a great deal about your child that will be useful in planning for him, as well as simply understanding him.  Testing can also be useful in gaining access to programs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In considering whether to test, first I would assess what gifted programs you may be able to access for your son; see if they have any specific criteria (not all programs accept all tests).  If money is an issue, explore options such as the possibility of free testing through your local school, or for cheap through the psychology department at a local university.  However, be aware that the best results are often achieved by seeking out a professional familiar with testing gifted children; for example, local schools often do a subpar job, depressing results, because of issues including lack of expertise and bias.  If you do test, make sure to get a full written report and not just a list of scores, and make sure that all tests are administered which may be required to get access to programs or services (testing with subsets of full tests from the WISC-IV, SB-V, and DAS-II is not uncommon).  If your son tests highly enough (as he well might) and you are in the U.S., I would consider applying to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.davidsongifted.org/youngscholars/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Davidson Young Scholars&lt;/a&gt; program, since it can provide much-needed planning help, as well as access to nationwide gifted programs and tuition assistance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Educational strategies available for serving the gifted vary widely, and deciding on an appropriate approach depends on considerations of the child's social and emotional needs as well as academic needs.  While a moderately gifted or &quot;bright&quot; student may be able to get by with a few extra accommodations, such as unrestricted higher-level reading during class time and math enrichment to do while the rest of the class catches up, at some point a gifted child's ability to learn quickly and deeply may require further intervention.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A gifted child can experience difficulties because not only do they often learn in different ways, but their pace can be vastly different, often letting highly gifted children learn many times faster than normal and with good integration and recall.  That implies that some sort of acceleration is needed or else these children's intellectual growth-- or, even worse, desire to learn-- will be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stephanietolan.com/is_it_a_cheetah.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;stunted&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/acceleration.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Acceleration&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; strategies which may be used to allow gifted children to learn at a proper pace include early admission, grade acceleration, subject acceleration, continuous progress, self-paced instruction, combined classes, curriculum compacting, and telescoping curriculum.  Two of the most common include grade acceleration (skipping or double promotion) and subject acceleration.  Both may be highly beneficial if correctly implemented; I recommend reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/nation_deceived/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;A Nation Deceived&lt;/a&gt; for a fairly comprehensive overview of research on the subject.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that for highly gifted children a skip/subject acceleration or two will often not be enough; all such measures may do is briefly level-set a child at a roughly appropriate subject-matter level, but problems of pacing and depth of material may remain.  Expect therefore that even if you decide to skip, it's often going to be only a temporary fix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Resources/IAS.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;IOWA Acceleration Scale&lt;/a&gt; is a helpful aid in deciding whether acceleration is appropriate, and in fact is used by many school districts in deciding whether a grade skip may be appropriate in a specific case.  Note that if a child does not desire a skip, it is never recommended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Homeschooling is certainly a good option, and in some cases may be the only realistic one (e.g. where there is a vast mismatch between the local school options and a child's needs, which sometimes happens when a school is inflexible).  You should also consider engaging with the school to see what services they may offer, but be aware that advocacy for a highly gifted child in a backwards school system may take years and still yield little benefit.  Become informed on your state's support for gifted education; some states have gifted education mandates, which may provide for mandatory free testing, gifted IEPs for identified students, and the like.  If your school is not ideal, look around for others in the area, including charter schools and private schools, many of which offer scholarships if money is an issue.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option which works for many is afterschooling, i.e. supplementation of schoolwork with enrichment of some sort after school or on weekends.  I have found this to be most helpful for allowing my son's interests to grow in areas not served by the school.  However, it cannot perfectly address a mismatch in an academic area such as math, without modification of schooling during the day.  Why should a child learning algebra and reading adult-level fiction sit through entire class periods where he is &quot;taught&quot; things learned years before, and restricted from spending his time more productively?  In the case of my son, we currently do brief math lessons at home three days a week after school, and send work to school for him to do during math time, as double acceleration in math was insufficient, and the school balked at sending him to the middle school for math at his current age.  The current arrangement at least lets him use his time more productively.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mentorship can be a great option, and it can be used as a supplement to other forms of instruction.  Your son may not yet be at a level of achievement where it would be very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask your son what he'd like the most, what his ideal schooling situation would be. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider that for children where the academic mismatch is severe, acceleration may be the best option despite being suboptimal socially.  That is, you cannot let worries about ruining his childhood prevent you from serving his urgent academic needs.  Yes, it's true that for a skipped child classmates will generally drive earlier, be more mature physically, etc.  Those factors are important to consider, but so is the evidence that acceleration is generally positive (see, e.g. &quot;A Nation Deceived&quot;) and may even be &lt;a href=&quot;http://etd.library.vanderbilt.edu/available/etd-05262011-181933/unrestricted/Gregory_Park_Dissertation.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;necessary to maximize growth potential for certain fields&lt;/a&gt;.  The best of all worlds, of course, would be to find a schooling situation with other highly gifted youth, but those are rare.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The right teacher can make a world of difference.  Don't be afraid to advocate for a particular teacher in an upcoming year, if you think that he or she will make a difference.  Be alert for bias on the part of teachers; tread lightly with assertions of giftedness or gifted needs until you feel a new one out.  Teachers like to feel that they have noticed gifted traits for themselves, and you have to be aware of perceptions that you may be one of &lt;em&gt;those&lt;/em&gt; parents (&quot;My Johnny is just so special&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you determine that a teacher or school is not doing right by your son, don't sit around and wait for things to change.  They won't.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you engage in advocacy with the school, politely leave a paper/email trail of all interactions.  Find out about the law pertaining to gifted education in your area.  If your school tries any funny business such as inaccurately stating what's been agreed to, consider using your FERPA right (in the U.S., obviously) to amend your son's education file.  Be politely persistent.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't allow a school to delegate to next year's teacher how to implement gifted services for your child, leaving undecided exactly what will be done.  Most teachers have little to no experience or training with highly gifted children, and this will only result in a massive delay.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teachers will often be open to minor enrichment with a minimum of hassle if it means little or no work for them.  For example, in some classrooms, especially in the younger years, it's common to see restrictions on reading: a child may be forced to pick from books aimed at young children during reading time, or may be restricted to a young-reader's section during library trips.  Politely ask for any such restrictions to be lifted, offering to send material from home and mentioning what your child is up to at home; teachers are often unaware, especially with a child that likes to &quot;fly under the radar&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your school offers mixed-grade classrooms, those can be a great way to try out a &quot;soft skip&quot;.  For example, maybe your son goes into a grade 3-4 mixed classroom, where he is given a lot of the material that the fourth graders get, and you and the teacher can assess how well he'd do socially if promoted to fifth the following year. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Scouting, sports, and similar activities are great for encouraging appropriate physical and emotional development.  They can go a long way in helping an accelerated child (or any gifted child) feel normal in his own skin.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your child may have special emotional needs, not just academic ones.  Perfectionism is a common issue; some gifted children may feel like impostors.  Try to make sure that no matter what happens, your child feels that academic supports are just giving him what's &lt;em&gt;normal for him&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you can, try to find other gifted people in the area.  At your son's age, he may find these through robotics or other clubs, through social groups for gifted people, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Since your son is highly interested in math, consider using the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.artofproblemsolving.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Art of Problem Solving&lt;/a&gt; resources, including the free &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.artofproblemsolving.com/Alcumus/Introduction.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Alcumus&lt;/a&gt;.  These are designed to stimulate highly gifted students by challenging them to discover new principles through tough problems.  I could go on at length recommending math-related enrichment, but for now will just mention Ed Zaccaro, Martin Gardner, The Moscow Puzzles, and Raymond Smullyan.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your son is also at a good age for learning computer programming, which would help him develop problem solving and modular thinking skills.  If he's interested you may want to check out Scratch, Python, Java (Eclipse is a good free IDE), Lego Mindstorms, Arduino, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some sites that may be useful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://giftedkids.about.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;About Gifted Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ctd.northwestern.edu&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Center for Talent Development&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cty.jhu.edu&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Center for Talented Youth&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.criticalthinking.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Critical Thinking Co.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.davidsongifted.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Davidson Institute for Talent Development&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hoagies' Gifted&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://nagc.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;National Association for Gifted Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.prufrock.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Prufrock Press&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sengifted.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following are currently the most active forums related to gifted children and education:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/forum/7-accelerated-learner-board/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Accelerated Learner Board @ The Well-Trained Mind&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Gifted Issues @ Davidson Institute for Talent Development&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mothering.com/community/f/370/parenting-the-gifted-child&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parenting the Gifted Child @ mothering.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2013-01-07T19:42:18.500" LastActivityDate="2013-01-07T19:42:18.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7136" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-08T04:50:29.270" Score="0" ViewCount="199" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5806/how-can-i-get-my-toddler-to-eat-as-well-for-us-as-he-does-at-daycare&quot;&gt;How can I get my toddler to eat as well for us as he does at daycare?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried to feed her but when she is really hungry she only drinks milk and goes to sleep. We have waited for a while to wait for her hunger to rise, but that does not happen. We have waited for a few hours and she would only eat a few salad pieces and then run away, so waiting is ruled out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried to compose a poem and sing to my child and she did take food. Diversion and competition has worked so far like &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Eat or else your sister will eat your meal etc., &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How have you attempted to make a child eat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3603" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-12T13:20:49.240" LastActivityDate="2019-03-12T13:20:49.240" Title="How to make a 3-year-old eat?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2013-01-10T08:21:36.710" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7137" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7146" CreationDate="2013-01-08T07:34:27.183" Score="9" ViewCount="13525" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby girl is 550 days old (~18 months), but can't speak like another baby girl that is 400 days old (~13 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are worried about this. My baby girl understands anything, but when she wants to speak, she screams.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She started to stand and walk in 8th month but the other baby girl start walking in 12th month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;those babies who start walking early, will start talking late and vice versa&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this true?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3643" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-02T22:58:26.210" LastActivityDate="2020-10-27T17:44:22.373" Title="Will babies who start walking early, start talking late?" Tags="|toddler|development|speech|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7137" CreationDate="2013-01-08T07:45:58.547" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, there's nothing to that as far as I know.  What I do know for sure: comparing your baby's milestones to others' at every turn will drive you crazy.  Instead, realize that as long as your baby's milestones are normal, they have low predictive value at best relative to her achievement in life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, if her receptive language skills are good, your daughter likely has no language-related problems at all. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/parents/child-development/baby-and-toddler/baby-toddler-milestones/&quot;&gt;PBS developmental milestones&lt;/a&gt; show that it's perfectly normal for children to begin to speak anywhere from 12-19 months old, and I'm sure that there is no cause for alarm even a fair bit outside that window.  In my experience, speech therapists may pooh-pooh moderate expressive language delays (which your daughter &lt;em&gt;does not have yet&lt;/em&gt;) when receptive language skills are in place and there is no other sign of a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T07:45:58.547" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7137" CreationDate="2013-01-08T07:56:48.037" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, there is no negative correlation,and there is only a slight positive correlation between the two, in that some children with learning difficulties learn to walk and talk later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't compare with others- follow developmental milestones provided- otherwise you run the risk of panicking for no reason. There it's a pretty wide range of expected ages to begin talking, walking etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T07:56:48.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2013-01-08T09:06:43.763" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think a month will be bit long for your close parents to wait to come visit you and see the next wonder. But you are right : too soon is not a good choice. It's nice that you think about it, already for your first kid. I made the mistake to let friends and family come when they wanted and we had a bunch of visits at the hospital : it was exhausting. Even if each visit doesn't last long, the sum of them makes your day really hard. So personally I never visit friends at the hospital anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal hint would be : plan to have visits, but not a lot of them on the same day. So a simple trick is to ask people to bring the meal. This way you have an excuse to ask for delay (they have to choose a date that is still free) AND you don't have to worry about cooking (which is a nice gift during those days when you have some much to do and are so tired)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2206" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T09:06:43.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4310" CreationDate="2013-01-08T09:15:30.627" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would tackle it this way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that my children understand enough about sex to know that coitus serves a human reproductive function.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that sex is engaged in for non-reproductive reasons as well-- that it can be highly pleasurable and also can be an expression of deep sharing and intimacy between people, but that these are not necessarily coextensive, i.e. that people sometimes engage in sex just for pleasure and sometimes much more for intimacy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that just like with other forms of activity, sometimes sexual activity is recorded.  Reasons for the recordings can be for scientific study, to show people caring about each other (often simulated, as in the movies), or to give the viewer pleasure.  The last is porn.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that there are some sorts of sexual activity that are bad for the people involved and bad for society, that are a sort of sickness (obviously without going into details, and obviously with disqualifiers based on one's beliefs that homosexuality is not in that category).  Explain that porn can be made based on those bad sexual acts too, and when that happens there is no good that comes of it.  Explain also that even relatively innocent porn (straightforward depictions of consenting adults giving each other pleasure in non-hurtful, non-degrading ways) can lead to very bad effects on people, and can cause a sort of sickness like a drug addiction, and has ruined many marriages and lives.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that one of the dangers on the internet is exposure to porn, of all kinds.  Also explain that other children may get access to porn, and be excited to show all of those children's friends-- to appear sophisticated, or merely out of excitement at something new, without knowing how bad it can be.  Explain that if anything like that ever happens, your child is to immediately tell you or another nearby adult who is trusted and in charge of the child, and not to look at the porn.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went through that series of explanations with my seven-year-old son, and he received the information without trauma.  We've always been pretty matter-of-fact about sex in our household, which makes a lot of this tremendously easier than if everything were taboo and hush-hush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T09:15:30.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7136" CreationDate="2013-01-08T10:43:17.610" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would simply wait for her to get hungry.  Three hours is not so long for a child to wait to eat at that age; three year olds sometimes eat like sparrows in my experience, boys and girls alike.  Though it may cause you some anxiety, try simply waiting one day for her to get hungry, instead of giving in after three hours; I can almost guarantee she will eat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only very rarely is a child's appestat (hunger regulation mechanism) truly broken, and if your child is one of those ultra-rare cases, she still won't perish from this simple experiment.  Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T10:43:17.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7116" CreationDate="2013-01-08T15:32:09.033" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This also sounds like my daughter at the same age, except that my daughter was exclusively breastfed or fed pumped milk and took about 5-6 45 minute naps daily.  We could not get her to nap longer until she was much older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my daughter the issue was entirely developmental.  She entered a phase called by one book, &lt;a href=&quot;http://thewonderweeks.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Wonder Weeks&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mannlymama.com/2012/12/wonder-week-19-aka-4-month-sleep-regression/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wonder Week 19&lt;/a&gt;.  The wonder weeks according to the reserachers behind the books are leaps in cognitive development.  During the leaps, which start to last up to &lt;em&gt;6 whole weeks&lt;/em&gt; with Wonder Week 19, babies are crankier, clingier, and cry more.  They also may have trouble eating, sleep poorly, and have a host of other challenging behaviors for both parents and themselves.  The reason is that their entire worlds are being turned upside down as they suddenly discover new things and develop leaps in their mental capacity.  The good news is that your child will aquire fun new skills around week 17.  The bad news is that fussiness and poor sleeping for this phase can last from week 14 until week 20!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the theory of infant development I read in the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bedtiming.typepad.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bedtiming&lt;/a&gt; around the same time (4 months or so) is when children experience a doubling in their working memory.  This fits with what my pediatrician told me, which is that children around this age suddenly develop the memory to know how they like to fall asleep.  That means sleep associations are preserved from sleep period to sleep period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleep associations, best described in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dr-Richard-Ferber-MD/60009404815&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ferber's&lt;/a&gt; book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0671620991&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems&lt;/a&gt; are a huge reason for waking at night.  Unless you put your child down awake and your child puts him or herself to sleep, your child associates some action on your part such as rocking or bottle feeding with sleep.  That means when your child has a partial wake-up at night, something everyone does, your child needs your intervention to get back to sleep.  Changing sleep associations is done through sleep training.  The No-Cry Sleep Solution which you tried can work over several weeks if done very consistently, but other methods tend to work more quickly.  Any form of sleep training should only be done once basic medical causes for waking such as MSPI and reflux are ruled out and with a pediatrician's OK.  That includes even gentle methods such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogginaboutbabies.wordpress.com/2009/05/11/pupd-pick-up-put-down-baby-whisperers-sleep-training-method/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;pick-up/put-down&lt;/a&gt; from The Baby Whisperer and No-Cry Sleep Solution methods.  Many pediatricians OK the Ferber method or another method of sleep training that allows for less comforting at 4 months.  The sleep training method you choose to create proper sleep association is entirely up to your family and your parenting style, if you even chose to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that just because your child doesn't go more than 2 hours between feedings during the day doesn't mean that the child can't learn to go longer at night.  My daughter was quite the snacker during the day for most of her infancy but learned to stretch feedings at night early on based on my using other soothing methods at some of her night wakings and implementing cut-offs before which I would not feed her unless she was not soothed by any other method.  A feeding cut-off is critical if you chose to begin any form of sleep training, as you want to use the sleep training method to encourage the child to return to sleep independently at any wake-up that is not to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T15:32:09.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7130" CreationDate="2013-01-08T15:34:50.720" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Suddenly waking up hysterical or crying out in sleep can also be a sign of overtiredness.  When a child becomes overtired it is more difficult for the child to sleep, but at the same time the child desperately needs and wants sleep.  This leads to loud crying for up to several minutes in sleep or even wake-ups during which the child is very upset to be awake, but nothing else is wrong.  The solution to this sort of crying is simply to adjust the daytime sleep schedule and ensure that it is age-appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T15:34:50.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7137" CreationDate="2013-01-08T16:47:00.360" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's not necessarily a correlation between walking and talking, but it is very common for different children to meet milestones at different rates and in different orders.  Some things are easier than others, and that differs from person to person, even as adults.  Sometimes it's not a matter of competence, but of personality.  Some people just plain like to listen more than talk, even as adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially you can't compare milestones between children with different parents.  I know some parents who literally spend hours a day working on getting their babies to talk.  Other parents are so good at anticipating needs that their babies don't have much need to talk.  I'm not terribly surprised when the first baby learns to talk faster, although even then there's no guarantee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T16:47:00.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7008" CreationDate="2013-01-08T19:38:10.587" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thanks, Everyone gave some good feedback and since I didn't specifically follow any one person's advice, I'll answer for myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, we first talked came to a conclusion internally that made sense. The first week we'll be in hospital for most of that then at home for a couple of days getting our bearings. My wife's mom will come the second week and will focus on helping mom and baby. Then we have a week without visitors to take it all it and be amazed/sleepy/bored. Finally, we're inviting other family to come out after 3 weeks. Since we're planning on breastfeeding for the first 3 weeks, no bottles, this will also be more convenient timing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of that is subject to change if there are any complications of course. We might update this to allow short visits in the interim as an option, but since everyone lives out of state, I don't know how likely people are to take us up on that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing in all of this was to talk it out and be on the same page before discussing it with the family. This also helps when you can give solid reasons to the relatives so they don't feel insulted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3588" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T19:38:10.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7068" CreationDate="2013-01-08T21:02:43.483" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My own opinion is that there's a big gulf between &quot;don't maliciously spoil a young child's magical beliefs&quot; and &quot;actively manufacture false evidence for an older child.&quot;  I consider good critical thinking skills important, and 8 is not too young to start flexing those cognitive muscles. I want my son to always know that for anything he asks me, he can count on me to give my absolute most truthful answer to the best of my ability, and that I won't purposely lead him off the track of finding out how the world works.  I dunno about age 4, but at age 8, those core values would (for me) trump &quot;adorable.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it all depends on whether the kid thinks the tooth fairy is literally true.  If she knows it's a game and is playing along (even if she isn't sure exactly which adult is playing the part of the fairy), it's all fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2013-01-08T21:02:43.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7044" CreationDate="2013-01-09T13:35:19.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;That depends very much of the extent of the &quot;glue air&quot;. The occasional middle ear infection needs to be treated properly, but shouldn't have any impact on speech and language development. If it's bad enough that it actually affects hearing over longer period of times, I would really focus on getting this fixed first. (CAVEAT: see your doctor) The key is to keep the Eustachian tube open so that the middle ear cavity can vent, drain and equalize properly. We found that antibiotics are not very effective: it only provided short term release of symptoms (infection) but no proper venting so the infection will reoccur.  In our case hot onion compresses worked quite well, although it stinks up the house. In the most extreme cases you may have to artificially vent by either opening up the tube or putting a grommet in the ear drum. However, this ought to be fixable with no permanent degradation of hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is significant hearing loss (which I really hope, isn't), you need to work with a professional to create a speech learning plan that's tailored to the specifics of the hearing loss. If not, just happily babble along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-01-09T13:35:19.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2013-01-10T11:36:33.763" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;How to explain &quot;right&quot; and &quot;left&quot; politics to a child, when most adult cannot agree on a meaningful definition? Well...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would probably start by explaining how different people have &lt;em&gt;different opinions&lt;/em&gt;, for &lt;em&gt;many reasons&lt;/em&gt;, both right and wrong. Sometimes they don't know something, or they don't care. Sometimes they have different experiences. (Two people will try the same thing; one will succeed and one will fail. Will they agree about whether it was the right thing to do? Whether they should do it the next time?) Sometimes they have different preferences. (Is ice cream better than chocolate? Should we watch TV or go to the ZOO?) -- Use many specific examples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I would add a warning that people can be pretty &lt;em&gt;sensitive&lt;/em&gt; about their opinions, sometimes very irrational. It is OK to communicate with people, it is OK to learn and to teach, but when you see that someone is in a bad mood, their voice gets louder or they start insulting... then it is better to change the topic or leave. If it happens regularly with the same person, then it is perhaps better to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; discuss some topics with that person. -- Again, some (non-political) examples of someone becoming angry at some discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we are prepared for the very essense of the question: what is the difference between &quot;right&quot; and &quot;left&quot; politics. (Because so far, everything said was symmetric. Now it is time to deal with the assymetry.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;right&quot; generally prefers &lt;em&gt;traditional&lt;/em&gt; things. If someone wants to have a king, or says &quot;let's do this, because this is what people did in the past, and it was good, so we should preserve the tradition&quot;, this would be usually labeled as the &quot;right&quot;. Other typically &quot;right&quot; opinions: people are different, the smart people should decide, people should be responsible for their own actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;left&quot; generally prefers &lt;em&gt;new&lt;/em&gt; things. If someone says &quot;let's throw away the old customs and do it completely differently, because it was bad and we can do it much better&quot;, this would be usually labeled as the &quot;left&quot;. Other typically &quot;left&quot; opinions: people are the same (their differences are the consequences of how other people treat them), everything should be decided together, people should help other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But these are just the general rules. No sane person is 100% &quot;right&quot; or 100% &quot;left&quot;, because in different situations different things may be better. (Sometimes the new thing is better than the old one. Sometimes the new thing turns out bad. Sometimes people help each other and are happy together. Sometimes people abuse the helpfullness of others. Sometimes it is good to listen to everyone. Sometimes some people say stupid things and it is better to ignore them.) But many people do &lt;em&gt;prefer&lt;/em&gt; one of these sides, and identify with it, just like when someone supports a specific football team. The problem is when someone becomes such a strong fan that they start hating the other side, which is a bad thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, it could be followed by specific examples of when some change was good or bad, when it was good to listen to everyone and when it was good to listen to the smart/informed one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then, perhaps, some specific political problems in your country could be touched gently. For example: &quot;Some people don't have a job, so other people give part of their money to state, and state gives that money to the people without jobs. It was suggested that &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; money should be distributed this way. Some people think it will be a good thing, because the families of people without jobs will have more money, and can buy more useful things. Other people think it will be a bad thing, because some people may choose to stay at home and let others work for them, and the families of people with jobs will have less money than before. Can you guess which of these opinions is called 'right' and which is called 'left'? How would &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; approach this problem?&quot; Remind the child that they don't have to choose only from the two extreme positions. Don't criticize the choice, but hint at some possible consequences, both good and bad. Also tell that it is OK if we can't completely solve this problem now, because adults have difficulties with this too. (The goal is not to solve a political problem. The goal is to explain what politics is, and what is political &quot;right&quot; and &quot;left&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, I think that many &lt;em&gt;adult&lt;/em&gt; people would need an explanation like this, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3251" LastActivityDate="2013-01-10T11:36:33.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6872" CreationDate="2013-01-10T12:35:16.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Finding information easily is the good thing (if the information is reliable). Conditioning yourself to &quot;find &lt;em&gt;and forget&lt;/em&gt;, find &lt;em&gt;and forget&lt;/em&gt;&quot; is the bad thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two reasons: First, if you always google with an empty mind, how do you notice if the web page is lying to you? We usually notice if some information on the page is in conflict with what we already know... but to do this, we have to remember what we learned previously. Second, to understand some complex things you have to understand the simple things first. If you keep forgetting each of those simple things in the moment you close the wikipedia page, you will never be ready to understand the complex thing. Yes, you can read the wikipedia page for the complex thing too, but it will be full of words you don't know and reasonings you don't understand. (Just open some wikipedia page about quantum physics or advanced maths to see how helpless a person can be without the necessary education even if the information is easily available.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The antidote to the &quot;find and forget, find and forget&quot; is &lt;em&gt;remembering&lt;/em&gt;. Don't learn too many new things at the same time. Then go away from the internet and &lt;em&gt;talk&lt;/em&gt; about the things that you found there. Take a walk around the house and ask your son: &quot;Do you remember the sound of toucan?&quot; Memory improves by trying to recall and by repeating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find that he does not remember many of the things you found (and perhaps neither do you), then you have spent &lt;em&gt;too much&lt;/em&gt; time googling. It gave you an illusion of knowledge, maybe it was very pleasant (nothing wrong with that per se), but it did not give you knowledge. It was a visual equivalent of eating a cake while thinking it was a fruit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, use internet as a textbook, not as a cheat sheet. (Or if you need to use it as a cheat sheet now, be aware of that, and use it as a textbook later.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3251" LastActivityDate="2013-01-10T12:35:16.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7153" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-10T22:16:25.280" Score="0" ViewCount="185" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4600/getting-a-2-year-old-back-to-sleep-in-the-middle-of-the-night&quot;&gt;Getting a 2-year-old back to sleep in the middle of the night&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old just started 2 weeks ago to not sleep at night like he used to. I've tried keeping him up later and I let him get himself tired out and nothing has changed. I did what the doctors said to do with him and nothing has changed with him. It's still the same, he will fall asleep at 8pm or 930pm and be up at 12 am and then stay up yelling and screaming and nothing I do helps him fall asleep, but when 8am comes around he falls asleep and then can sleep all day until 5 pm or longer. Please help! I'm in really bad need, the endless sleep less night are getting to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3655" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-24T15:24:03.187" LastActivityDate="2018-09-24T15:24:03.187" Title="My 2-year-old won't sleep at night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2013-01-11T10:55:07.883" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7155" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7157" CreationDate="2013-01-11T08:05:45.587" Score="6" ViewCount="1041" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are setting up a baby room for our first child (due in June).  We've so far been very fortunate in finding great deals on a matching crib and gliding rocker/ottoman!  The only major piece of furniture we have left to buy for the baby's room is a dresser/changing table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here I'm at a loss.  Should I be looking for a dresser, and then look for a changing table thing that sits on top to match?  Should I be looking for a dresser/changing table combination set?  Do such things exist?  If I should look for separate pieces, what should I be looking for in a dresser?  What's the right height for these things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I should add that I'll be mainly looking for something on craigslist and the like, unless there's a good reason not to, or unless you can give me a better source for something like this.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's your experience, and what advice would you give a dad-to-be?  Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3657" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T16:33:02.503" Title="Dad-to-be needs help finding a changing table" Tags="|newborn|diaper|bedroom|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7155" CreationDate="2013-01-11T08:49:21.983" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Welcome, and congratulations on the expected family addition!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my home, there's no changing table in the baby room. Instead, we have a changing station in the bathroom. Our washing machine is right next to the sink, and on top of the machine we have a padded thing like this:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/7u0L4.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the wall above the washing machine, there is a cupboard where we conveniently keep spares of anything that we need while changing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's incredibly convenient to have access to warm tap water (so we just use cheap cotton cosmetic pads and don't need wet wipes), washing machine &amp;amp; laundry basket, bathtub (for bigger accidents), and a trash can, all in one room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, the height of the washing machine is just right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-01-11T08:49:21.983" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7155" CreationDate="2013-01-11T11:44:09.267" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/HlCmw.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ours was a lot like this one (image from englishforum.ch), only once the kids got older the changing table bit was removable to leave it as an ordinary chest of drawers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best bit for me (as I have a slightly dodgy back) is the overhang, meaning I could get very close while changing the babies, reducing my need to lean forwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-11T11:44:09.267" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7158" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7159" CreationDate="2013-01-11T13:37:06.277" Score="20" ViewCount="7292" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I was picking my son up from daycare the other day, another boy's &quot;Nanny&quot; (grandmother, I presume) was picking him up at the same time.  The boy was playing, and grabbing on to other children's ankles.  It wasn't ideal play, but no one was getting too upset about it, except Nanny, who immediately yelled at him to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The boy didn't stop, so Nanny came over and smacked him on the hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This upset the boy, who lay there on the floor scowling, clutching his hand, and muttering at his Nanny.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking this as defiance, the Nanny told him to get up.  When he didn't immediately comply, she said she was going to count to three, and if he wasn't up by then, she would spank him right there in front of everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure enough, he wasn't up fast enough, so she hauled him off the floor, turned to me and said &quot;sorry&quot;, and then spanked him right in front of my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not completely against the &lt;em&gt;idea&lt;/em&gt; of corporal punishment, but it is certainly something that my wife and I strive to avoid using, and my son has never been spanked, nor seen anyone spanked before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was visibly upset, and became more upset as the other boy began to cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most of the rest of that evening, he kept repeating &quot;Jaden's crying.  Jaden got smacked on the butt!&quot; and asking if other people get smacked on the butt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The daycare provider (we use a private in-home daycare that we are very happy with) was visibly uncomfortable, but clearly felt that it wasn't her place to tell a child's guardian that she shouldn't discipline her child as she felt appropriate (and I can't say I blame her). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not interested in trying to convince this person that she's handling the situation &quot;wrong&quot; (while I disagree with her methods, I don't feel its my place to tell other people how to parent, and I know I would absolutely resent similar advice from a stranger).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; concerned about the impact on my son, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the biggest arguments against corporal punishment is the claim that it models violent behavior to children, and teaches them that hitting is an appropriate response in some situations (without necessarily providing guidance on &lt;em&gt;which&lt;/em&gt; situations).  This is my biggest concern.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that merely witnessing a caregiver hitting a child could just as easily result in my son deciding that hitting is appropriate as if he had been on the receiving end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kept telling my son that its never okay to smack someone, on the butt or otherwise, but I was having a difficult time in explaining it without being critical of Nanny's actions.  In the end, I decided that it was okay to be critical of her to my son, as I think it is a fair lesson that being an &quot;adult&quot; doesn't automatically make someone right, or even someone that can be trusted.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not certain that this will be a lasting solution, particularly if there are repeat incidents. I know Nanny isn't the only one to pick up/drop off Jaden, but she seems to do it more often than the boy's father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've contemplated bringing up the issue and asking her to make sure she doesn't do this in front of my son again (if I see her), but I'm not certain of the best way to broach or present this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can this situation be best addressed, both from the perspective of responding to my son, and anticipating possible future incidents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T18:33:55.143" Title="My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?" Tags="|toddler|communication|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7158" CreationDate="2013-01-11T17:37:15.273" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say you handled things with your son quite nicely all things considered.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds as though your son was really wishing to stick up for his friend and worried about his friend.  Since his emphasis was on the friend and not on figuring out when it is okay to hit, I'd say he is already past the stage when he will start imitating.  Parents have a much greater impact than they give themselves credit for.  A couple of instances seeing some one else get spanked is far and away different from regularly being spanked themselves in regard to future propensity to hit others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you probably know, we have issues with other family members who make different choices in regard to how to bring up their kids.  I also strive not to be critical of those others, but I have found that stressing &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; we make different choices can be helpful because it puts the focus on us and our choices rather than on the choices of the other person.  It is sometimes inevitable that it comes out as critical and there isn't much to be done about that.  If the question, &quot;then why did his nanny hit him&quot; continues to arise a simple, &quot;I really don't know&quot; would be honest.  You don't know the reasons behind her disciplinary choices - why she chooses corporal over other methods for sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With your child, focus on reassuring him that his friend will be okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the &quot;Nanny,&quot;  Based on the fact that she mouthed sorry to you, she knows what she did impacts the others around her grandson too.  Perhaps you could use this as an &quot;in&quot; that won't come across as highly critical.  Something along the lines of, &quot;It really upset my son to see that the other day.  It became an issue that came up repeatedly through the evening, I'd really appreciate it if there was a way for you to wait until you weren't in view of my son in the future. . .&quot;  It doesn't critique her choices (directly) and leaves it up to her to figure out a compromised solution.  You are stating your concern for your son as it relates to your son and nothing more.  She could spank the boy in the next room or in the parking lot (or, not at all) without it having to be traumatic for the rest of the kids that are forced to witness the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to add that &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7182/2876&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; also makes a great point about the role of the daycare provider and it should also not be overlooked.  However, understand it can be awkward when your clients are bread and butter so obviously, you may want to go at the conversation more gently than presented in the answer given.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T01:44:18.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3681" CreationDate="2013-01-11T18:49:15.567" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It his &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_memory_training#Renewed_claims_for_improving_working_memory&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;highly questionable&lt;/a&gt; whether working memory training can yield long-lasting benefits at all.  Note that training such as memorizing digits of pi may well (at least temporarily) increase performance on those specific tasks, but not yield any general improvement.  Thus if you want to memorize pi, memorize pi, but don't expect to get smarter overall.  For what it's worth, there is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cambridgebrainsciences.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;free&lt;/a&gt; and paid brain-training software available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter's working memory score, which you feel is an underestimate, is within about one standard deviation of the mean, note that it is considered to be normal.  Also note that having average or even below average working memory and processing speed scores is not at all unusual for gifted children.  Sometimes it can be evidence of a learning disability (for which the proper remedy is consultation with an expert, not a web search for home training). Sometimes it is just part of a spiky cognitive profile, as people have varying degrees of well-roundedness.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I question the results of the testing partly because modern IQ tests are not limited to a ceiling of 145.  If your tester used an out-of-date test of some sort, the results are highly questionable, partly because such tests need renorming every so often and because good-quality professional testers don't use inappropriate tests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is somewhat of an obsession with IQ testing of children in the U.S. lately, and it seems to be increasing.  This is unavoidable to some degree because of the existence of programs requiring IQ and achievement test scores at a certain level for entry.  While I understand the sources of that source of angst, I think people should relax a bit and realize that children are as they were, just that certain types of empirical data about them are now achievable with greater precision than in the past.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about your daughter's working memory unless it is an actual problem.  In what way is it dragging her down, besides affecting her full-scale IQ score?  If you suspect that your daughter has a learning disability (LD), which doesn't sound like it is the case, follow up with additional testing and/or a second opinion, preferably from someone who specializes in LDs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastEditorUserId="3615" LastEditDate="2013-01-11T20:19:11.020" LastActivityDate="2013-01-11T20:19:11.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7155" CreationDate="2013-01-11T19:58:24.930" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did not use a change table for our two kids. We just set up an area on the floor next to the crib with a towel and a plastic change mat on top. The wipes, plastic bags, nappies and such were located next to the change area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had tried using a change table but found the floor was much easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you don't have to worry about the child rolling off while you are&#xA;dealing with soiled nappies and such.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It occupies a lot less space. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the case of explosive bowel movements, you can just wash the towel and change mat very easily&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you are out and about, you'll often change the kid on the floor anyway so everyone is used to it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-01-11T19:58:24.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7158" CreationDate="2013-01-11T20:02:19.200" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The fact your son is so distressed by it means he is unlikely to copy the behavior.  Kids copy behavior that looks fun or that produces a desired result.  Having himself and a friend reduced to tears is neither.  I know parents who are reluctant even to do time outs, whose children hit each other all the time.  I've also known children who had literally been beaten black and blue regularly, who never once hit their peers.  Merely observing the behavior isn't enough to want to copy it, and merely sheltering them from behavior isn't enough to prevent it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being distressing to other children &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a good reason to ask her to move it out of sight, but keep in mind there isn't a way to broach the subject without offending her.  Parenting is a highly personal thing, and on such matters people are generally unlikely to be persuaded by an unsolicited request.  She may even feel the witnesses are necessary because threats of private punishment have gone unheeded in the past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-01-11T20:02:19.200" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7116" CreationDate="2013-01-12T01:47:23.473" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is my first time answering on this site, but your post really grabbed me. I am answering with the background of being a mum of a 6 month old boy, and a paediatric doctor in Australia. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, it sounds like things are really tough at the moment. Hopefully you will get some good sleep soon to recharge. I have a few suggestions, and will separate them out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Share the load. I'm not sure if your baby is sleeping in your room or in another room, but arrange with your partner a system whereby one person is &quot;on duty&quot; for a certain part of the night, and the other gets some good quality sleep for a couple of hours. If your baby is in your room consider sleeping in another room (even the lounge room) so you get some uninterrupted sleep when you aren't &quot;on duty&quot;. Having your partner take the first shift, and giving a bottle if needed will give you a good stretch straight up. Also, since she seems to be a good daytime napper, if you are still at home try sleeping when she does during the day. It isn't ideal for the long term but while things are crazy it may help you get through. Also, utilise your support network (family, friends, neighbours - anyone you trust) to come over and give you a hand. Maybe they can do the house work while you get a bit of happy playtime with your baby during the day (to remember that she isn't always crying) or visa-versa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Total sleep volume. From your post it sounds like your baby is getting between 2.5 and 4.5 hours of day time sleep each day, which is great day time nap volume. Most three month old babies average between 10 and 16 hours of sleep per 24 hours, with the vast majority getting 12-14. If she has a natural sleep volume of 12 hours per day (for example), she will therefore be asleep for only 7.5 to 9.5 hours overnight after day time naps. So perhaps starting the night sleep later will give more time for YOU to effectively sleep while she is down. The number of 3 month old sleeping from 7.30pm through the night is small, and the parents are very lucky who get them! Perhaps try pushing back &quot;bedtime&quot; to closer to 9 or 9.30pm, and trying to get into bed yourself when she goes down. Then if she does have a 3 hour stretch straight up you will have gotten that too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Eating. You said she is a mix of breast fed and bottle fed, but haven't specified how many of each feed type she takes over the day and night. It may be that she has become used to taking lots, or even the majority, of her daily milk intake overnight. At 3 months she is able to get used to drinking more during the day than night, but this may take some &quot;training&quot;. To encourage more milk intake during the day, try to decrease night intake gradually. If she is &quot;snack feeding&quot; overnight (smaller, more frequent feeds) start by consolidating the feeds into 2-3 feeds only, by stretching out the gaps between feeds to a minimum time. For example, if she is snacking every hour or less start with perhaps minimum 1.5 hours between feeds for a few nights, and gradually stretch out to 3-4 hours (so eventually you are only getting up 2-3 times per night to feed). This does need to be very gradual, and try only stretching feeds out a further 15 minutes every 3-4 days. As she feeds less overnight she will start eating more during the day, but it will take time for her to readjust. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Making sure she recognises night vs day. Keep the room lights low, try to speak in a quiet voice and don't play games or be too fun when she wakes overnight. Easier said than done when you have a screaming baby, I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) Settling. Besides feeding (which is very easy to fall back on every time she wakes overnight, but snack feeding can create a problem as outlined above) you need to work out what helps your little girl. Have a barrage of settling &quot;tricks&quot; already thought out to help settle her and to help keep you sane. Even if it may not settle her instantly, having something you are trying can stop the feeling of helplessness and frustration a little. I personally am a huge fan of the &quot;Happiest Baby&quot; settling technique (5 S's which you can google) - but this can stop working around the 3-4 month age. However, it may still work a treat, and reviewing the techniques may help. Consider a dummy (pacifier) if not already using one. Consider writing a list of things to try and sticking it in the room for when you are fuzzy headed overnight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6) Sleep associations. Create positive sleep associations which will cue her at the start of each nap/sleep time and when she wakes overnight that it is sleep time. For example: swaddling, pacifier, white noise, small breathable snuggy (aka lovey or another small toy that cannot suffocate the baby). If she is sleeping better during the day than overnight try to work out what is different between the two (ie. light levels, noise levels etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;7) Comfort. Ensure she isn't too warm or too cold overnight. Be aware that overheating is a SIDS risk, as is loose bedding. She shouldn't feel hot and sweaty to touch. Altneratively, if her face is cool she may not actually be too cold - slip a finger down her suit to feel her chest, if it is warm then she is just right. Don't judge if she is cold on her hands or feet as these are often cooler. Consider getting a room thermometer can experimenting with different amounts of clothing/bedding for different temperature ranges. There are baby monitors with temperature alarms if you think that may be an issue, but it is an expense you may be able to do without. Also, don't forget to make sure it isn't a nappy (diaper) needing changing or if she has vomited on herself etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;8) Work on self settling. It sounds like she might need you to help her go back to sleep each time she wakes overnight (infant sleep cycles are about 45 minutes long). Try to put her in her bassinet/cot when she is settled and drowsy but not actually asleep. If she falls asleep in arms, jostle her on putting her to bed so she wakes up and sees she is in her bed (but hopefully not wake up so much she will get distressed). She will eventually get used to falling asleep in there and not need to cry for you to help put her back to sleep each time. Alternatively, cuddle/rock/feed her to sleep each time, but you will then have the issue of her needing you to go back to sleep at each sleep cycle. If you want to co-sleep make sure you read and implement safe co-sleeping practices. I personally do not recommend or think co sleeping is safe below a minimum age of 6 months due to SIDS risk, but this something you need to decide as parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite a long answer, but I hope this helps. Good luck. I'd love to hear back how you go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3663" LastActivityDate="2013-01-12T01:47:23.473" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3187" CreationDate="2013-01-13T00:07:14.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We may have TV on during mealtimes, we may not - it all depends on what activity was going on before the food hits the table. I feel that if you arbitrarily force someone to stop doing something it creates a negative response. How I handle this is, when it's on, it can be used as a useful tool to ensure our 4yo actually eats something; I keep the remote handy and if she stops eating I'll pause/ mute/ turn off until she eats enough to 'power the TV' this puts the message across that I understand she was enjoying something but that she should also eat and interact with the rest of us. If we ate in a room without a TV then sure, no TV at feeding times because that's not an arbitrary ruling - she already knows that if you leave the room you switch it off but as it stands now, this way works for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="197" LastActivityDate="2013-01-13T00:07:14.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3187" CreationDate="2013-01-13T12:02:47.760" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We don't have a television in our dining room, deliberately so we can eat together as a family and enjoy that time talking about the day etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, during the Olympics last summer, as the kids are so sport-obsessed, we did occasionally have carpet picnics in the front room where the TV is, and I think they did enjoy that as a special treat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-13T12:02:47.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3187" CreationDate="2013-01-13T17:25:50.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We don't have a TV in the house at all and haven't for years (though I watched a lot of TV as a kid and jokingly blame that for all the befalls me now as an adult). However, on occasions, about once every two weeks, we bring the notebook computer to the table and watch a documentary on Netflix or Amazon.  Usually it's also the pizza night, which is itself an intentional disruption to routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Particular favorites are Nova Science Now (our kids love Neil Degrasse Tyson). We can hit space to pause and discuss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2960" LastActivityDate="2013-01-13T17:25:50.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7175" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7176" CreationDate="2013-01-14T22:21:31.740" Score="5" ViewCount="990" Body="&lt;p&gt;As is common with 3-4 month olds, we've gone from a very good sleep schedule to more frequent wakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on fussiness she will get to sleep between 630 and 730, and she used to sleep for 3-4 hours at a time. She would wake, eat, and fall immediately back to sleep. The process repeated until 7 or 8AM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she has started waking every 1.5-2 hours. Light and noise conditions have not changed.&#xA;She will eat (in smaller quantities!) and fall immediately back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the day, however, she does not demand to be fed this frequently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have only a few trial runs but I've tried soothing and rocking her to sleep (which puts her down for 15 minutes or so) before she cries again. This on/off repeats until we close in on the 3-hour mark.... upon which we've been feeding her and she falls back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this comfort feeding? &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Should we feed her at these wakes? &lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2765" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T01:22:19.663" Title="Should we feed the 3MO on demand at night with more frequent wakes?" Tags="|infant|sleep|feeding|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7175" CreationDate="2013-01-15T00:20:19.193" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most babies have &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/growth-spurts/&quot;&gt;growth spurts&lt;/a&gt; at 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months, and 9 months approximately.  I don't think it's comfort feeding since, when you put her down without feeding her, she wakes up again a few minutes later.  I'd be more inclined to believe that she's either gearing up for or in the middle of a growth spurt and she's legitimately hungry.  Most growth spurts last for a few days to a week and each child handles them a little differently.  My kids seem to suddenly start packing in the food a few days before I really notice their growth (it's like it happens overnight or something!), then they go back to their usual eating habits.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you Google &quot;3 month growth spurt, sleep&quot; there's a TON of postings to Mommy Boards all over the internet about this exact thing.  Baby is an amazing sleeper until suddenly they hit their 3-month growth spurt and Satan child comes out--waking all hours of the night, cranky and irritable from lack of sleep, eating all the time...the list goes on and on.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hang in there!  She'll probably be back to normal in a few days.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T00:20:19.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7175" CreationDate="2013-01-15T13:41:53.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as this pattern persists for a week or so then it is most likely the 3 month growth spurt.  Continue to feed on demand until you are sure it's a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However if it continues to persist then she is probably beginning to reverse cycle.  This can happen because her primary caregiver has recently returned to work (common around this age) or because she got used to getting most of her calories during the night for other reasons.  In that case you want to do what you can to stop reverse cycling unless it is acceptable to the parents and the baby still seems happy and well-rested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To avoid reverse cycling first feed often during the day.  My infant needed - genuinely needed - to eat every 1.5-2 hours during daylight hours.  She seemed to live her first 7 or so months of life in a growth spurt as she shot up the growth charts.  The fact that I fed her frequently on demand during the day enabled her to go longer stretches at night because she got most of her calories during the day.  Sadly she did wake-up frequently and have many sleeping issues, but she did not demand to eat an excessive number of times during those wake-ups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond reverse cycling your daughter is now reaching the age where she can develop sleep associations.  If she usually falls asleep eating when she reaches a partial wake-up she may not be able to fall back asleep without eating again.  You can gently work to fix this association even at a young age using techniques such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pregnancy.org/article/when-your-baby-wakes-frequently-feed-pantley-pull&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the Pantley Pull-Off&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0071381392&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The No-Cry Sleep Solution&lt;/a&gt; or pick-up/put-down from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0345479092&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Secrets of the Baby Whisperer&lt;/a&gt; where you place your child in her sleeping location drowsy but awake and pick her up until calm and drowsy again when she cries, then replace her in her crib until she falls asleep on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again working on sleep associations and such is not necessary at this stage if this is simply a growth spurt and all returns to normal shortly.  It is something to consider if frequent wake-ups continue as fragmented sleep is bad for both babies and parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T13:41:53.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7179" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-15T13:46:43.790" Score="4" ViewCount="519" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a Christian myself but my husband is not. I would like to teach my child about my religion and I have been thinking of ordering books from online Christian bookstores.  Is this the best option?  Which other methods can I use? Do you think children would enjoy Christian-themed toys and games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3671" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-25T19:03:10.617" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T17:02:23.360" Title="How can I teach my child about Christianity?" Tags="|development|religion|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7116" CreationDate="2013-01-15T14:13:28.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading your question I could not help by remembering the time when my youngest used to keep us awake at night for about a year...&#xA;She started teething early, walking early (11 months)... and was like in a hurry to grow up.&#xA;These were stressful times for her as a baby I assume... and for us, as parents it was really difficult.&#xA;What we did was to take turns, each would wake up on his turn to care for the baby.&#xA;In the cold winter months we placed her crib right beside our bed so we would not have to get out of our warm bedroom.&#xA;One thing we did notice is that there are some basic principles to teaching your baby to (unless there are any real reasons for crying).&#xA;Babies need to be taught the difference between night and day and that sleep time is at night.&#xA;having a &quot;ritual&quot; you go through with your baby every night at sleep time would help a lot: that would teach the baby that whenever(for example) you listen to quite music, rocking in your arms, after having a warm bath and feeding... it is time to relax and fall asleep.&#xA;I used to sing to my baby at bed time, talk to them in a relaxed voice, tell them it is night and time to go to sleep... etc... night after night, same ritual...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final thing: eventually your baby will get used to sleeping through the night :) and you will have similar memories to the ones I have of these difficult sleepless nights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3676" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-15T15:06:20.810" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T15:06:20.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6894" CreationDate="2013-01-15T14:38:43.447" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me the baby is not aware that it's sleep time.&#xA;Using some kind of a ritual or routine every night before going to sleep and a ritual or routine for waking up in the morning should help.&#xA;For example: Using music -&#xA;How about playing relaxing tunes at night while dimming the lights and rocking the baby ... every night routinely...&#xA;And playing happy tunes in the morning when it's time to wake up...&#xA;This way your baby would start associating the type of music with the time of day.&#xA;Basically it is all about teaching your baby to sleep though the night... and making up routines worked for me...&#xA;Hope this was helpful :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3676" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-15T15:04:06.167" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T15:04:06.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7158" CreationDate="2013-01-15T19:01:05.200" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;The daycare provider -- at her HOME -- didn't feel like  she could tell the woman that it wasn't appropriate to hit, when it upsets her as well as her other business clients??!!  She makes the rules IN HER HOME AND PLACE OF BUSINESS, does she not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems like the right angle to pursue -- tell the daycare provider that it upset your son, and that you expect the daycare setting to be one where there is no violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You butting into another family's discipline policy is probably not welcome, but the daycare provider clearly explaining the rules about what is or is not allowed while on their premises may be better received.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T19:01:05.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7179" CreationDate="2013-01-15T19:14:16.947" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that exposure to different ideas is the best way to teach children about religions in general. The degree will be age-specific and will require commitment from parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach is applicable to practicing and non-practicing religious, and atheists alike, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your intention is to guide your child to &lt;strong&gt;making their own decision&lt;/strong&gt; then you should teach them analytic and &quot;mental-defense&quot; skills. Life in general, and so also religion, is littered with malcontents and those who would take advantage of you and lead you astray.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exposure will help your children identify charlatans (religious and otherwise)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For Christianity-Specific answers, perhaps you're better served at &lt;a href=&quot;http://Christianity.StackExchange.Com&quot;&gt;Christianity.SE&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2765" LastEditorUserId="2765" LastEditDate="2013-01-15T19:19:35.827" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T19:19:35.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7184" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7185" CreationDate="2013-01-15T19:41:03.337" Score="37" ViewCount="404259" Body="&lt;p&gt;During episodes of fussiness, my 6-week-old daughter has started grinding her face into my chest or shoulder. She shakes vigorously from side to side like she's trying to burrow out the other side. When this started with my wife's chest, we assumed it was a hunger cue. However, after watching it for a week or two we haven't found any correlation between the grinding behavior and the need to eat or suck. She will facegrind against a shoulder, chest, arm... it doesn't seem to matter (though she always looks quite determined).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else here experienced this sort of behavior with an infant? As with most baby issues that come up, my question is &lt;strong&gt;what the hell is she trying to tell us?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's worth noting that she will also swing or bang her head during fussy episodes. Disconcerting though that is, I'm told this is a strange but not uncommon attempt at soothing. Is facegrinding possibly in the same category?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2415" LastActivityDate="2017-03-04T14:28:42.490" Title="Why does my baby grind her face into my shoulder?" Tags="|infant|behavior|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2013-01-15T19:49:49.140" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;Banging heads, grinding faces and side-diving (what I think you mean by &quot;swinging&quot;) are all common forms of &quot;rooting&quot; behavior - that is, she is instinctively trying to find a breast to nurse from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is typical for symptoms of hunger, but also general discomfort (nursing feels nice, and babies know it).  I'd try feeding her when she exhibits any of these behaviors.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't help, she's probably just uncomfortable and doesn't know any way to self-soothe aside from eating.  That's her only instinctive mechanism for finding comfort.  Try to find other ways to comfort her if feeding doesn't help.  Try putting your finger in her mouth, or a pacifier.  If that doesn't work try bouncing her to sleep, and other comfort techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3376" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T19:49:49.140" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2013-01-15T19:51:53.503" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;6-weeks is young enough that your daughter really doesn't have conscious control of many of her muscles. Though her arms and legs move, she doesn't consciously &quot;order&quot; them to do so, likewise with her neck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Such flailing is often commonly just attributed to being upset rather than any specific ailment. The brain says &quot;I am upset about something, though I don't know what it is nor how to fix it&quot; so you get cries and flailing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2765" LastActivityDate="2013-01-15T19:51:53.503" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2013-01-15T21:20:08.433" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beyond rooting, as mentioned in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7185/2146&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;, babies also rock their heads as a self-soothing method as you mentioned.  With a young baby who is falling asleep is on his or her back you'll see this as a tossing from side to side.  If a baby is on his or her stomach trying to sleep it will appear to be a burrowing - when I would let my child nap on my chest she would burrow her head into my chest while falling asleep.  It had nothing to do with hunger, it was just soothing.  Back when stomach sleeping was the norm I believe this behavior was called &quot;nestling in.&quot;  So yes, if you are positive that this is not part of the rooting reflex, then it is probably an attempt at self-soothing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T19:40:26.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7179" CreationDate="2013-01-15T21:32:32.497" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the easiest way to pass values to our children are those about which we are passionate our self. Are you a passionate christian? &#xA;Yes, then do not worry, explain you child where you passion is coming from and this will do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jesus was a non-violent person who thought LOVE can heal all the wrongs in this world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel this is true then you will find the right words to explain that to your own child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not forget the famous christian text from the 1 Epistle to Corinthians chapter 13 ...it will inspire you: it did inspire me and I am NOT a christian.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3677" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-01-16T09:47:12.340" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T09:47:12.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7155" CreationDate="2013-01-16T04:46:34.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a year late for this, but I used a tool cart from Northern Tool. Looked something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yLjkQ.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantages of this are &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's sturdy &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;buit in side-walls&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it has wheels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It has built in, easy-to-access shelves&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's a tool cart! So when baby is out of diapers, you still have a useful piece of furniture in the garage. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T04:46:34.607" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7190" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-16T11:23:33.327" Score="38" ViewCount="62485" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently came across a photo on my 14 year old daughter's iPod of a letter from a girl friend of hers that expressed her feelings for my daughter.  Words like &quot;I do melt in your eyes&quot; and &quot;I can't stop thinking about you&quot; were in the letter and I was quite shocked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought the time they were spending together were like most girls…just friends and someone they would hang out with and talk. But when I saw this, it obviously is a little concerning for me…on so many levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a religious perspective, we taught our kids to be tolerant and that being gay shouldn't be looked at as a bad thing and that we should all respect each other. But something inside me is saying that this type of behavior at this age can be confusing and I'm not sure if I should encourage these two spending so much time with each other. I know I'm going to have to bring it up at some point and my reaction needs to be one of support, but I think I need to ensure she is aware of the complexity of such emotions and that making a commitment at this age is just too soon. It's not that I'm against that lifestyle, I'm just not sure that at this stage that I need to be encouraging it either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what of the other girl's parents? Should I bring it up to them? I know as soon as I say something to my daughter, she'll text the other girl and if it gets out, I'd hate for her parents to be blindsided or even worse, she may do something drastic. Not sure what I would say, but again, trying to minimize the interaction with each other might help them to step back and reflect of these emotions and not jump into anything without fully understanding the affect on them. Being a teenager is already stressful enough without adding the emotion weight this can carry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would appreciate any feedback.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3681" LastEditorDisplayName="user29389" LastEditDate="2018-06-15T14:42:34.200" LastActivityDate="2018-06-15T14:42:34.200" Title="Just found out my daughter might be gay. Now what?" Tags="|parents|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="17" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T13:02:01.733" Score="68" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, ask yourself honestly: would you react the same way if it were a friend of the opposite gender?  Or is part of your reaction based on gender and gender preference?  If it is, step away from this and get hold of yourself first.  She's 14 and learning about herself.  She has a first crush; do you remember your first love?  It seems all-encompassing at the time to the persons involved but it will not permanently change anything about the daughter you have raised and love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And do not go to the other parents unless you fear something illegal (drugs, criminal behavior) is going on.  A first crush between teenagers is perfectly normal and natural and not something to freak out over.  Make this a &lt;strong&gt;huge&lt;/strong&gt; deal and you will likely get the opposite response that you're looking for; the girls will stick together and get secretive, and you will have built a nice thick wall between you and your daughter that could take &lt;strong&gt;years&lt;/strong&gt; to break down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you need some face-to-face perspective, try finding a local group of PFLAG for support   (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pflag.org&quot;&gt;Parents, Families, &amp;amp; Friends of Lesbians and Gays&lt;/a&gt;). &#xA;And I strongly recommend listening to Dan Savage's podcast; he's had several episodes of kids coming out to their parents and how it can affect everyone, and that can give you an idea of how to proceed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-01-16T20:22:16.803" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T20:22:16.803" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T14:23:40.577" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a lesbian, bisexual woman, or other is a sexual orientation, not a lifestyle.  I wouldn't conclude just on the basis of what you've posted that your daughter is definitely a lesbian.  However, if she is, your best bet is to be supportive-- both from the perspective of supporting her as a loving parent who wants her to be free from psychological problems, and also if you have a hidden agenda of nudging her straight (which probably won't work, especially with the thrill of the taboo working against you).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think of it this way: if at the time of your first semi-serious attraction to someone of the opposite sex you were told by your parent that it was wrong (and, even worse, against God's plan &lt;em&gt;or whatever&lt;/em&gt;), you'd probably wind up with some serious problems: self-doubt, fear that your parents wouldn't love you for yourself, fear that you'd be going to Hell, etc.  If your parents found out about your attraction and you'd been religiously indoctrinated against it by them prior, then your parents started minimizing your time spent with the other person, you'd be able to figure out what was happening.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is smart enough to figure out what you're doing no matter how you play it; so play, and be, the loving, supporting parent you should be.  You don't want to wind up with a depressed, repressed or dead daughter because of your prejudices.  I mean that word in the kindest possible way, if there is one-- but you do have a fair amount of obvious anti-gay prejudice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3615" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T14:23:40.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7193" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-16T14:33:46.657" Score="7" ViewCount="1058" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know there are questions similiar to this, but mine is a little different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a 2-year-old son. Against my will, as a stay/work at home father, my son always slept with my wife and me until he was about 18 months. Putting my foot down, I taught him to fall asleep in his crib without the front on by laying with him, but in the night he would wake up and come to our bed and crawl in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About two months ago, I put the front of his crib on and he goes to sleep no problem with two of his hot wheel cars (lightning McQueen and one other) and sleeps well until usually 12. He then wakes up and I go in and give him a little bit of water, check his diaper, and tell him to go back to sleep, and it usually works. He goes to sleep each night watching Bambi and it runs all night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually around 3 he wakes up again and just screams until my wife gives in and goes to get him and, because I don't let her bring him to bed, she sleeps on the couch with him. He will go back to sleep if I let him cry it out, but my wife usually will not put up with the crying long enough. He does sleep in his crib all night about 3 nights a week but I have given up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife will not work as a team and help me train him to sleep in his crib and just keeps reinforcing that if he cries long enough she will give him whatever he wants, which is out of his crib. He just repeats screaming the word &quot;out.&quot; I want the TV out of his room but it does get him back to sleep sometimes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else can I try except the crying it out method?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3682" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-23T13:34:44.983" LastActivityDate="2019-08-23T13:34:44.983" Title="How to make my 2-year-old sleep through the night without expecting to come to bed with us when my wife always gives in?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|parents|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7193" CreationDate="2013-01-16T15:05:08.370" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is definitely a parental issue in that you and your wife are definitely NOT on the same page about this.  Just based upon your comment that you are a stay-at-home/work-at-home dad, I can only make the guess that your wife probably works outside the home (I might be wrong...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, I'm wagering your wife is suffering from some mommy guilt.  I can tell you from experience that the guilt that can come along with being a working mom can be agonizing.  So allowing your son to simply scream in the middle of the night might be more than her poor mommy heart can stand, and getting some middle of the night snuggle time probably helps her feel a little better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can also tell you that CIO is hard on a mom who &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; on board with the plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of other sleep training methods that do not include crying it out.  Dr. Sears is a huge advocate of no-tears sleep training as is Elizabeth Pantley author of &lt;em&gt;The No Cry Sleep Solution&lt;/em&gt;.  Most people, I think, ultimately sort of create their own combination of mild-CIO with some no-tears techniques thrown in (or vice-versa).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I think at the root of this is a desperate need for you and your wife to sit down together and &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; discuss the issue in a gentle and loving manner.  It sounds like you put your foot down and she sort of just caved but is passively undermining your efforts.  But the way you all are continuing, someone is going to throw their hands up and say, &quot;Fine, if this is how you want it then you can get up with him in the middle of the night every night!&quot; and this is not constructive (I know.  I've had this conversation).  Perhaps the rule needs to change to &quot;He can't come to our bed until after 5 a.m.&quot; or something like that.  So every time he wakes up before that, he needs to stay in his crib, but once 5:00 rolls around she can bring him back to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, as Valkyrie posted, studies are showing that falling asleep with the TV on and leaving it on does prevent a deep, restive sleep.  This might be a big part of your problem and weaning him off the movie might help him stay asleep longer and wake less frequently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T15:05:08.370" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T16:26:36.867" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see a few issues here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, is snooping through her iPhone. Is she aware of this? Is there an agreed upon understanding that what's on that phone is for you to look at? If not, the first issue is one of trust. A teenager with a snoopy parent is likely going to open up a lot less once they find out. So you're going to have to broach the issue carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, I think it's maybe just time for a talk, in general, about relationships and sex and being 14. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I think you need to really think about how you truly feel about homosexuality. You seem OK with it (which is great if she is, as having a parent that will support her is important) but I sense a few doubts there (well, as much as one can sense from a post on StackExchange...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. Teenagers are a challenge no matter what!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2013-01-16T17:46:07.090" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T17:46:07.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T16:37:28.627" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would agree that the friend's note does not mean that your daughter is gay. I also agree with your concern. There's a book by Leonard Sax (Doctor and Psychologist) called &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0465022065&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Girls on the Edge&lt;/a&gt;&quot; where he discusses youth being influenced into one or another gender/sexual identity at too young of an age. I highly recommend this book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you talk with your daughter about it. Make sure she knows that you love her, and that you are there for her, particularly as she is growing into womanhood. Whether or not she is gay, I think parents should be more involved in the often very confusing and scary process of maturing and understanding the new feelings and desires that they have. Again, not in a forceful, mean way, but more, &quot;Hey, I've been through some of these kinds of things too, and here's some advice&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as telling the other parents, I'm not sure. I think that would depend on what you know of the friend as well as your relationship with the parents. If you are good friends with them, then it might be appropriate to mention it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3683" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T16:37:28.627" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T17:06:57.413" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teenager have often mixed feelings about sexual behavior. It is a transient period which often goes away. I do NOT think there is reason to panic. I think talking about it might help, provided you can talk about is calmly and understandingly. This does NOT mean you approve, it just means you listen calmly and are ready to talk simply about it. Panic rarely helps!!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Ask advice from psychologists...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3677" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T17:06:57.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T19:16:07.737" Score="45" Body="&lt;p&gt;I worry a bit about this statement: &quot;It's not that I'm against that lifestyle, I just not sure that at this stage that I need to be encouraging it either.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, sexual identity is not a &quot;style&quot;, per se.  Try reversing it to see how it fits: could you just decide that, from now on, you would prefer to have sex with the same gender, and have it happen because you decided it?  No.  Likewise, if she is gay, its not something she chose...it's just the way she is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also a bit concerned about the statement that you're not sure that you &quot;need to be encouraging it either&quot;.  You seem to be indicating that just accepting the situation would be &quot;encouraging&quot; something undesirable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Props to you for coming forward and trying to figure out what to do.  It sounds (from my very non-professional opinion) that you are having a tough time and trying to do make sure you do the &quot;right&quot; thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the &quot;right&quot; thing (in my opinion): With her, you don't currently need to do anything.  You found this, and you're upset about it.  That's your issue, not hers.  You can, of course, file this knowledge away for future talks with her, and use it to inform yourself if you see her struggling with something.  But we haven't heard that she's having a problem...just that you are.  So let her be.  She doesn't need your confusion and doubt clouding her ideas about what is okay (she's a teenager...she's confused and clouded enough already!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let it go for a little while and I think you'll discover that this doesn't actually change her in any way.  She's the same daughter you always had.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3687" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T19:16:07.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T19:17:18.003" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, try not to jump to conclusions.  People make assumptions about each others' sexuality all the time based on the flimsiest of evidence - the text you found could be a joke, or could have been sent to the wrong person, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't think that confronting her about this is a good idea.  If she is gay or bi, she might be feeling very insecure about her sexuality (even if she hasn't heard any homophobia from you, she will almost certainly have heard people saying extremely insulting things about people like her at school or on TV), and might get very defensive, especially since you have apparently been looking at pictures on her phone that she presumably didn't want you to see - maybe you saw the picture by accident, but she might not be convinced by that.  I would guess that a general talk about relationships, and telling her that she can always come and talk to you about anything, would be a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to treat this any differently than you would if the other kid was a boy.  If she is gay or bi, and gets the idea that you think that same-gender relationships aren't quite as good as opposite-gender ones, that's the kind of thing that can cause lasting resentment.  In particular, avoid calling homosexuality or bisexuality a &quot;lifestyle&quot; - not because it is inaccurate or insulting in itself, but because anti-LGBT activists invariably use this word to describe a person's sexuality and supportive people very rarely do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you find out something a &lt;strong&gt;lot&lt;/strong&gt; more serious than this, absolutely do not go to the other kid's parents.  It isn't your place to tell them about their daughter's sexuality, and many parents react horribly when they find out that their child is gay, bi, or trans (verbal or physical abuse, kicking them out and disowning them, or sending them off to an organization that claims it can &quot;cure&quot; them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3686" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T19:17:18.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T21:35:09.807" Score="29" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Just found out my daughter might be gay. Now what?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that that there may be a same gender relationship as opposed to an &lt;em&gt;opposite&lt;/em&gt; gender relationship is totally irrelevant here as far as you are concerned. To take it further there is nothing in your OP at all to indicate that there is &lt;strong&gt;any&lt;/strong&gt; sexual relationship at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't confuse homosexuality with sex, one's sexuality does not indicate sexual activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I have to ask how you would respond if the 'letter' had been from a boy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned about sexual activity then speak with your daughter about it. But make it perfectly clear that the gender of her partner isn't important; that you are concerned about her health, safety, and well-being. And by this I don't mean her orientation, I mean the very real possibility of an STD. Safe sex is important regardless of the gender of the partners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That conversation, if you played it right, could be a wonderful way for you to broach the topic of a same sex relationship without accusing or directly confronting your daughter. For example having the &lt;strong&gt;typical&lt;/strong&gt; mother daughter talk, although awkward, doesn't have to be adversarial; so a smooth segue into safe sex for a lesbian couple would accomplish a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It reinforces your teaching your children to be tolerant.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It clearly shows your daughter that you practice what you teach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It offers her an opportunity to broach the subject with you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And perhaps most importantly it reassures her of your acceptance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that, if there is any issue here at all it's yours and yours alone. What you choose to make of it is entirely up to you. But keep in mind that your actions now will have an immediate and long term impact on your daughter, your relationship with her, and your family as a whole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said there are some important things to consider when dealing with a child that may be lesbian, gay, bi, transgender. For any teenager, dealing with sexuality is difficult and trying; dealing with a different sexual orientation even more so. Don't add to that angst.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You owe it to yourself, your family, and your daughter to do everything you can to understand what your daughter may be/is going through and what you can do to support her. As others have suggested &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pflag.org&quot;&gt;PFLAG&lt;/a&gt; would be a great resource for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for approaching the other girl's parents, you need to understand in no uncertain terms that by taking that step &lt;strong&gt;you could be putting that young girl's life in danger&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3692" LastEditorUserId="3692" LastEditDate="2013-01-17T22:04:08.200" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T22:04:08.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T21:35:29.587" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Now what?&quot; There is nothing special about now. Your daughter was gay yesterday, three weeks ago, and years ago. All those moments took their turn being &quot;now&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or so you assume.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you read was another girl's message, which is evidence that the &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; girl is gay. Concluding that your daughter is also gay is not a valid inference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring it up with the other girl's parents? How will that go down? &quot;Hi, Joneses! I pry into my daughter's e-mails without her knowledge, and I learned something about your daughter!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3693" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T21:35:29.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T22:55:00.237" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say &quot;I think I need to ensure she is aware of the complexity of such emotions and that making a commitment at this age is just too soon.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as your daughter's emotions, they're just as complex whether they're about the same sex or the opposite sex. That's a reasonable thing for you to worry about, but it's also inevitable. At 14, she's going to have feelings for people, they're going to be challenging, she's going to make mistakes, she's going to get hurt, she's going to grow. None of that is specific to her orientation. 14 is young enough that she may not be ready to get into physical, sexual relationships, but the hazards of teen sexuality apply much, much more to opposite-sex than same-sex interactions! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is specific to same-sex attraction is how society feels about it. As others have pointed out here, you don't know how the other girl's parents feel about it, and I feel very strongly that you do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; have the standing to out the girl to anyone, especially her parents. As for your daughter, she needs to keep in mind that being perceived as &quot;different&quot; is dangerous, and coming out publically is a risk that she may want to put off taking, particularly if she's not sure of her orientation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best thing you could do is to tell your daughter you saw the letter (and you may need to accept some consequences yourself if you were violating her trust expectations when you saw it, by the way), and discuss both the personal-physical and the societal risks with her, in such a way as to make it clear that the problem is not her orientation, but rather her age and her environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many young people get same-sex crushes around this age. Some turn out to be gay, some don't. Either way, it's nice to have a home environment that feels safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3698" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T22:55:00.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-16T23:07:58.000" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say just don't bring it up. She is not ready to tell you anything yet and there is nothing conclusive about her sexual orientation. She is a 14-year old girl and this means she has the right to now have a little private life; this is one part of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you say you don't disapprove of anyone being gay or lesbian (or any colour of rainbow) but you don't want to be encouraging either, it means you would be affected if she was gay. And that would affect your conversation wiht your daughter, whenever you have it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actions speak louder than words. So, any negative reaction or comment (even a single one) would create doubts in the minds of your daughter. Being gay is already stressful enough and secretive. So, what you can do for your daughter right now:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wait for her to talk, if everything else goes normal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If further clues crop up, like more photogs etc (without snooping!) then do talk to her. It would include lots of &quot;I (We) love you&quot; and &quot;We would never leave you&quot;. Yes, all this needs to be told all over again to an uncetain kid. Unwavering support of family is what separates suicidal kids from the healthy, grown-up ones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In either case, stop all the gay jokes, if you make them. If others do it, ask them to stop casually without attracting attention towards your daughter. This is a moral duty too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And remember being gay is just one part of one's personality. That you may have realized by looking at your daughter. So, treat your daughter as you always do. (Exception: If you are harsh, then be gentle. That is the only way to roll.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1788" LastActivityDate="2013-01-16T23:07:58.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-17T00:11:40.433" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider is that this may be a game your daughter is playing with you.  She may suspect that you are snooping into her iPod and had her friend send that message to flush you out.  If so, don't take the bait.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3701" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T00:11:40.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-17T14:59:52.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Nikko, the kids are so young it should be expected that they will experiment. She may be curious, just love your daughter unconditionally and support her decision if she does eventually pick that side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Might even work out for you, I would definitely prefer my daughter get chased by emotional girls then horny boys in her teens...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I just want to add this, She is 14, this does not mean she will be &quot;gay&quot; her whole life. After she is done experimenting and she reaches her 20's she may realize that she is no longer interested in females this way. I know several people I grew up with that experimented when they were in their teens but later figured out that is not what they are really into. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Girls, I feel are especially prone to this due to peer pressure. It is common knowledge that &quot;lesbians&quot; are smiled upon and she may feel the pressure to conform to this so she feels &quot;cool&quot; when that pressure is no longer there she may no longer feel the need to experiment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastEditorUserId="3393" LastEditDate="2013-07-31T14:27:03.897" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T14:27:03.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7193" CreationDate="2013-01-17T15:01:30.777" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you should take a couple steps back from the sleeping issue and talk with your wife. More harmony, a positive atmosphere, and teamwork between the both of you will greatly help in &quot;fixing&quot; this issue and the many other parenting issues to come.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't underestimate the little kid's ability to pick up on your emotions. You two are his world, and when you are upset, that is a very big thing to him. Enough in itself perhaps for him to fuss at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's plenty tips and tricks here to help your kid sleep better. But it's no science, and there is no single best way to handle this, no matter what the guru's are trying to sell to you. You'll have to try things out, think things through, and also follow your gut instinct. And a mum's gut instinct screams pretty loud that kid needs comfort NOW! when he's crying, never underestimate this...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to focus on the fun bits of raising your boy together. Share with your wife the funny things he says and does. Do fun things together. Cuddle and playfight with him. They'll make the sleepless nights easier to cope with. Respect her instincts and suggestions. But do demand that she acknowledge when the kid is beginning to run the show. Sleep/comforting issues are a tug of war with the kid and they can be little devils when you give the rope too much slack. She's bound to notice this too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If at all possible, I'd advise against negotiating compromises and rules with your wife. You're in this together and each situation will be subtly different. You're making things harder for yourselves when you negotiate one single rule you both must follow. Suppose you negotiate no bed before 5am, and he is teething. She needs to have her options open when he's crying at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And keep in mind that it will pass. It's just a phase. Like the rest of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3721" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T15:01:30.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7155" CreationDate="2013-01-17T15:10:01.950" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just want to say.. my daughter is 4mo old. We have a changing table with shevled below it. She is already getting to big for it. I would hesitate getting any furniture that directly integrates with one as it wont last long and you will be stuck with this furniture that is now useless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ours is kinda like this.. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.walmart.com/ip/15579368?adid=22222222227000637273&amp;amp;wmlspartner=wlpa&amp;amp;wl0=&amp;amp;wl1=g&amp;amp;wl2=&amp;amp;wl3=13223674390&amp;amp;wl4=&amp;amp;wl5=pla&amp;amp;veh=sem&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.walmart.com/ip/15579368?adid=22222222227000637273&amp;amp;wmlspartner=wlpa&amp;amp;wl0=&amp;amp;wl1=g&amp;amp;wl2=&amp;amp;wl3=13223674390&amp;amp;wl4=&amp;amp;wl5=pla&amp;amp;veh=sem&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out Once upon a child in your local city if they have one. Great great great deals!! Everything we bought for our daughter is almost too small now other than the crib. The rest has gone unused, and like I said.. my daughter is only 4mo!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T15:10:01.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7155" CreationDate="2013-01-17T16:33:02.503" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Look for a dresser.  There are ways to repurpose the shelf-only changing table, but long term it is usually not useful.  Then get a changing pad to go on top.  Some dressers come with an optional border piece that holds the pad in place which can be useful, but you can get the same effect by putting a piece of no-slip shelf liner underneath the pad or using the hardware that comes with the pad to bolt it to the dresser.  When your kid is no longer in diapers the dresser is still a dresser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point your child is going to become mobile.  At that point many parents move the changing pad to the floor to avoid wrestling with a baby who is trying to crawl off the edge of the dresser all while a very dirty diaper is sitting open underneath the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also do not underestimate the value of having just diaper changing supplies and a simple waterproof pad that you can cart around the house.  That way if the baby and caregiver are playing on a different floor from the baby's room the diaper supplies can be on hand to avoid trips up and down the stairs for diaper changes.  If you really want to save you can skip even a changing pad on a dresser and just go for a diaper caddy and waterproof pad and do changes on the floor or whatever furniture is convenient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T16:33:02.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2013-01-17T16:50:37.403" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should let your son play as he wishes. There is very little correlation between effeminate behaviour in boys and homosexuality. I am a happily married straight man who loves women. I prefer the company of women to that of men. I like art, music and science and have little interest in typical sports, even though I think I tried most of them as a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you say I'm a closet gay, let me assure you that I am not. Many people assume I'm gay and I've had plenty of opportunities to have relationships with men and my reaction is totally heterosexual. My fantasies are always of women. I've been with my wife for over 25 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prefer my hair long, I like cats and poodles, I like sports cars and bicycles. I'm better at interior design than my wife and almost as good a cook. I don't watch professional sports and don't even know who won last year's World Series. I used to wear flamboyant versions of mens clothes, e.g.. a gold lamé shirt that I had my mother make for me because I don't sew, I do however know how to crochet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child I was teased mercilessly by the other boys, but luckily the girls liked me, one even came to my defense and beat the crap out of one of the bullies (we were about 14 and she was a lot bigger than I was).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very difficult being different as a teenager, I was lucky in that I as good looking and very popular with the girls because we tended to share a lot of the same interests. For a couple of years I was interested in football, because my best friend was the captain of the cheerleading squad, and she and I went to most of the games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Luckily I learned to moderate some of the outward signs to seem a bit more normal, cutting my hair more often, learning how to swear and learning a bit about team sports. But I still gravitate to the women as friends since they are usually easier to talk to, have similar interests, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you and your son all the best and a happy future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3730" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T16:50:37.403" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-17T17:46:06.407" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that your beliefs on tolerance toward those that are gay were contingent upon the idea that &quot;other people&quot; are gay and &quot;we&quot; (&quot;we&quot; being you and your children) are straight. That contingency, and therefore the true mettle of your belief, has now been called into question. If you truly believe what you say you believe, it shouldn't matter whether she's gay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;What should &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; do?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For starters, it seems you need to look inside yourself and figure out what you &lt;em&gt;truly&lt;/em&gt; believe. Regardless of what you say you believe, and even what you verbally teach your children, your actions will have a far greater impact than your words ever will, especially on a matter such as this (and especially since, if you start acting against what you've taught her, she will see you as hypocritical).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also make sure you understand the difference between &quot;being supportive&quot; of someone and &quot;encouraging&quot; something. Her sexual orientation is hers, regardless of your approval, or how much you &quot;encourage&quot; (or discourage, for that matter) anything. What's more, if she is gay (and especially if she comes out, or is outed, while in school), then she will need people that will support her, because suicide rates among gay teens is significantly higher (some reports I've seen show as much as 5 times higher, and even higher in conservative areas) than among straight teens, due to things like bullying, institutionalized and internalized homophobia, and in general being pressured (by peers and family) to be something that they're not (straight).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;What should you do with her? Nothing you wouldn't normally do.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to her about sex and sexuality, just as you would if you hadn't found the information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you found the information through means that didn't involve a breach of trust (ie - it's expected that you'd go through her iPhone), then ask her about the message itself, &lt;strong&gt;without implying anything about her&lt;/strong&gt;. Something like, &quot;hey, I happened to see this message and it confused me, can you clarify it for me?&quot; should work (I see three outcomes offhand - she comes out and says she likes the other girl; she laughs it off because she's not confident enough to come out, or isn't sure of her own orientation; or she dismisses because she's straight and the messages were unwelcome). As others have stated, bear in mind that what you saw was the &lt;em&gt;other girl's action&lt;/em&gt; and, by itself, &lt;strong&gt;does not have any bearing on your daughter's sexual orientation&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you did figure out, without a doubt, that she's gay &lt;strong&gt;do not out her&lt;/strong&gt;. That is one of &lt;em&gt;the&lt;/em&gt; most offensive things you can do. You have no idea whether she's ready to talk to you (or anyone) about it, and if she's not ready, it could put a pretty large rift in your relationship. Let her come to you and bring up the topic, first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, it's also normal to experiment and explore. She might not even &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; whether or not she's gay. Conversely, she may be straight as an arrow (and sure of this), but still enjoy flirting with her female friends (and maybe even do things like kissing them), just to get a reaction from the guys, or because it's fun and doesn't mean anything more than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2013-01-17T17:46:06.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7218" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7220" CreationDate="2013-01-18T03:40:41.003" Score="10" ViewCount="3898" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Prom season quickly approaches, I've begun to wonder about who will ask my daughter.  In particular, should I be expecting someone to ask me for permission before they go with my daughter, or do I have no say in the matter?  She's a high school junior (16 years old, 3rd year of high school)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back when I took my date to prom, I asked her father for permission.  Is this still expected in the modern era?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm in the San Francisco Bay Area, California&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3082" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-20T23:43:05.510" LastActivityDate="2015-05-20T23:43:05.510" Title="Should I expect a boy to ask me for permission for prom?" Tags="|teen|dating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7218" CreationDate="2013-01-18T04:02:42.927" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think this is the &quot;norm&quot; per se.  Neither of my prom dates ever asked &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; parents permission to take me to prom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I don't think that it's necessarily accurate to say you have no say in the matter whatsoever.  I would be nervous about my 16-year-old daughter going to prom with some boy I had never met/didn't know.  If you expect her would-be date to ask your permission first, then you need to communicate that to her.  A simple, &quot;Whichever boy asks you to prom needs to come speak to me before you accept&quot; would be a clear and simple directive.  And if she asks why you just respond, &quot;Because I want to make sure he's good enough for my little girl&quot;.  She will probably whine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option might be that once she has been asked and has accepted, you could schedule a series of get-togethers with the boy and his parents so you can get to know each other.  Or you could combine the two options.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, I would make it clear that you, as Daddy, have the veto option if you don't like her prom-date choice.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T04:02:42.927" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7221" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7227" CreationDate="2013-01-18T04:39:37.063" Score="9" ViewCount="2821" Body="&lt;p&gt;Following up on my question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7218/should-i-expect-a-boy-to-ask-me-for-permission-for-prom&quot;&gt;Should I expect a boy to ask me for permission for prom&lt;/a&gt;, I've decided to ask, considering how my daughter hints that he'll ask her within the next week, if he asks me for permission, how should I react?  I mean, apart from the &lt;code&gt;yes/no&lt;/code&gt; answer, how should I feel/react?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3082" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T08:53:03.333" Title="As a parent, how should I react to someone asking me for permission for Prom?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7222" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-18T04:42:19.430" Score="10" ViewCount="2782" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have actually recently found a label for my religion (druidism). I am 15 and I actually established my personal beliefs years ago. I feel like a disappointment to my parents already because I'm bisexual but I don't feel right hiding my life from them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe in reincarnation and I love life and cherish it and seek to actually practice my religion without the worries of being caught. I even felt the need to send my necklace that I ordered online to my friends house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how do I explain this to her without upsetting her too much? And its not like druidism is bad....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS I am not a parent but I need advice from parents. Thankyou.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3742" LastEditorUserId="3784" LastEditDate="2013-01-29T00:27:06.147" LastActivityDate="2019-12-01T14:20:36.050" Title="How do I tell my mom that I am not Christian?" Tags="|teen|religion|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7221" CreationDate="2013-01-18T05:22:09.647" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say ask him to ask your daughter. You are not the person he wants to dance to, after all! And if he doesn't give you good vibes, then ask your daughter in turn to reconsider that decision. And if he seems good enough, ask your daughter to ask &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; parents whether she can take him to Prom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1788" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T05:22:09.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7224" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7234" CreationDate="2013-01-18T05:30:30.020" Score="25" ViewCount="11000" Body="&lt;p&gt;My problem is I have almost zero free time.  I have two young kids 3 and 2 when they where young my wife didn't want to let them fall asleep by themselves so now I take the 2 year old and my wife takes the 3 year old and we spend 1-2 hours per night putting them to sleep.  Then after they are asleep my wife wants me to spend time with her watching mindless reality TV.  Most of the time she passes out on the couch.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm asking when should have have some time not to watch TV but to take care of the things that are important to me.  I need some time when I'm not exhausted to work on things around the house or doing some strategic planing for the group that I manage at work.  We both work and I'm expected to take care of the dishes and do 90% of the meal planning (shopping,cooking,cleanup) To top it off my wife is a very picky eater and will only pick something to eat that day.  I can't do any advanced planning.  I also bring in 3 times the income she does and I'm required to be at work for 1.5 hours more per day than she is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what a normal evening with young kids would be like ?  After the kids are sleeping my wife is exhausted and her ideal evening is me rubbing her to sleep on the couch.  Then I have to rub her to sleep again when we go up to bed.  I really thing this is not balanced.  I need some amount of time to just decompress.  Also, each weekend I wake up with the kids and she sleeps in I'm just tired at this point.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm curious what the average evening is like ? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3743" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T07:48:34.730" Title="How do you manage free time when you have kids?" Tags="|sleep|freedom|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7224" CreationDate="2013-01-18T08:47:24.367" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think this is actually a parenting question, but the problem you are actually facing is around your and your wife's expectations of needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having very little time to yourselves in the first few years with kids is perfectly normal, and getting through this requires patience, but the bigger picture for you is that you must talk with your wife. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am guessing from your post that she is the stay at home carer, in which case she has spent an entire day looking after them and wants time with you but is tired so wants to just relax and fall asleep, whereas if you have been at work you may want more constructive activity and be able to talk with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally in these scenarios each person thinks the other one has it easy, but you need to communicate. If you think it is unfair that you do the dishes every day, you need to discuss and find out why she thinks it is fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And at the end of the day, there must be compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T08:47:24.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7221" CreationDate="2013-01-18T08:53:03.333" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would be quite pleased, for three reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I get to meet and chat to the boy asking her out, so I can get a bit of a feeling for whether I approve&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have an indication that he is willing to talk to me - talking to a parent can be very scary&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I know my daughter doesn't want to go to the prom with this person but isn't wanting to to tell them, you can provide the 'Sorry, no' message&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T08:53:03.333" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7229" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7230" CreationDate="2013-01-18T10:18:47.743" Score="10" ViewCount="4024" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby is nearly 6 months old, and generally when awake during the day (from 8-9 AM) he needs attention and care (at least periodically, otherwise he is pretty good at inventing occupation for himself). However I recently noticed that he is also awake around 5-6 AM when we are mostly sleeping, without trying to get our attraction (just grabbing the rails of the bed, rolling, or just staring around).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think, should we convert this awaken period into a playtime, or just let him observe the world as he wishes? Any similiar experience?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3090" LastEditorUserId="3090" LastEditDate="2013-01-18T12:37:24.390" LastActivityDate="2013-01-22T19:59:56.630" Title="Baby awake in the morning but quiet?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7229" CreationDate="2013-01-18T12:19:24.787" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;The love of a parent is infinite, but the time is not. In my humble opinion, you should be thankful for every moment where he does not crave your undivided attention. If you're lucky, he will learn that it's okay to be awake and still remain calm and quiet - I wish my kids knew that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you have plenty of activities with him during the day, don't feel obliged to utilize 100% of his time awake. We all like to chill sometimes. If he doesn't fuss, he's probably happy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T12:19:24.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7025" CreationDate="2013-01-18T14:34:24.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;All kinds of music are good and music has been proven to be a primary driver of brain plasticity, which is important to all babies / children, but is a particularly useful tool to be able to utiliseif a baby has brain injuries / developmental disabilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different types of music are also useful in different circumstances, for instance, Gregorian Chant and Baroque music are useful to promote sleep;  music which has a rhythm of 60 beats per minute is useful in situations where learning is desirable, so this is why people expose their children to Mozart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All music is good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jancke, L.  Music drives brain plasticity.  Biology Reports Ltd.  October, 2009 1-78.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-18T19:41:43.360" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T19:41:43.360" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7044" CreationDate="2013-01-18T14:43:42.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Glue ear tends to cut out reception of high frequency speech sounds, such as 's' 't' 'p' 'h' 'sh' 'ch' and more with children only able to hear low frequency speech sounds.  As we tend not to be able to produce sounds we don't hear then the speech of children with glue ear, consisting of low frequency speech sounds, tends to sound a little unusual.  However if your child is babbling, this is a very positive sign.  There are two stages of babbling, - the first, known as reduplicated babbling is where the same sounds are repeated over and over,  'babababa.'  The second stage, known as variegated babbling, is where various sounds are mixed together, 'badamada.'  Most children babble and it is a stage of language development which is entirely normal and healthy.  It leads on to the next stage which is commonly known and 'jargon' or 'scribble talk' where there are a range of sounds produced, which seem to have 'half words' embedded within them.  Of course some children completely bypass the babbling stage.  You should just let your child pass through this stage, it is normal and healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-18T19:40:36.980" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T19:40:36.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7224" CreationDate="2013-01-18T16:00:10.160" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;TALK TO YOUR WIFE! Tell her how you feel in a quiet and meaningful way. Let her know you are not blaming her or pointing fingers, that you are just trying to communicate your feelings and prompt her to communicate her feelings. This type of communication is the only way that my wife and I have survived, it was extremely hard to do at first and has taken about a year to be able to talk so honestly about how we feel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, look into getting some help from time-to-time. Last night my wife and I got a babysitter and we stayed in the house working on personal projects while the babysitter entertained our son and kept him busy. He loved having someone else in the house and my wife and I got a lot done. We do something like that about twice a month and then a &quot;date night&quot; or afternoon once or twice a month. It makes a big difference for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T16:00:10.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7224" CreationDate="2013-01-18T17:12:17.700" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is definitely primarily about you and your wife communicating, and (hopefully) compromising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, since you asked about what a &quot;normal&quot; evening is like, I'll speak to that first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll start by saying I don't think there &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; a &quot;normal&quot;.  Evening routing depends on so many factors, I can't imagine that you could single out any one and say that it is more common than the rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know some families where the parent who stays with the kid(s) during the day turns over all parental responsibilities once the spouse gets home from work, until the children are in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know others where the opposite is true: the parent who cares for the children during the day also watches the children at night, to let the &quot;working&quot; spouse (&quot;work&quot; in quotes because I won't even attempt to pretend that staying at home with a child all day is anything less than work) get some quiet time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Families where the children are in daycare, school, or stay with a caregiver other than either of the parents (i.e. grandparents, etc.) will likely have a very different routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case, my wife and I both go to &quot;office jobs&quot; during the day, and my 2 year old goes to daycare.  I pick him up on the way home, and take care of him until dinner time (unless I'm cooking dinner, in which case my wife helps keep an eye on him while I cook).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After dinner, one of three things happens, depending on the day.  Either all three of us spend time together as a family, I get my &quot;daddy evening&quot;, or my wife gets her &quot;mommy evening&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Mommy evening&quot; and &quot;daddy evening&quot; simply means that one night, one of us takes full responsibility until our son is in bed, and the other can do what he/she likes.  My wife reads, plays piano, or goes out with friends on those nights.  I play video games, or go to my &quot;man cave&quot; to work on my hobby.  However it works out, we try to make sure that we each get at least one night where we don't have to entertain our son all night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After my son goes to bed, we usually have about an hour or so to watch TV or read before we go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe an arrangement like this might work for you and your wife, but you &lt;strong&gt;have&lt;/strong&gt; to talk first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps one of the best pieces of advice I've gotten about having discussions like this is to avoid phrasing things around &quot;you&quot;.  Instead, focus on &quot;I&quot;.  For example, instead of saying &quot;All you want to do is sit on the couch, watch TV, and fall asleep&quot;, saying &quot;I don't want to spend all my free time sitting on the couch, and watching TV until we fall asleep.&quot;  It comes across as far less confrontational that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Communicate what you want, but be sure to make clear that you also want to know what your wife wants.  The reality is that neither of you are very likely to get &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; what you want, but a good compromise will leave you both feeling like you're at least getting what you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T17:12:17.700" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7235" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-18T19:15:11.760" Score="10" ViewCount="159456" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 18 months old and still doesn't want to chew and eat solid foods. We have to blend soups and other food into purée for him to accept it. If there is even a slight solid, he will automatically push it out of his mouth with his tongue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had a breakthrough with breakfast where I don't blend as much and leave it a little chunky. He ate it but still pushed chunks of soft banana that were bigger out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of my friends have kids that are 4-5 months younger, who are eating chicken cutlets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas or proven methods for getting a child to start eating solids? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="563" LastEditorUserId="4877" LastEditDate="2014-04-30T19:42:54.473" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T18:43:46.733" Title="How to get a toddler to start chewing and eating solids?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7235" CreationDate="2013-01-18T20:46:23.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you mentioned this to your pediatrician?  If your son is pushing out solid food at his age there might be a developmental issue to combat.  You can also check with a community Early Start program; they often deal with eating delays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your doctor has given him the all clear, drop the bottle entirely if he's still on it; go to sippy cups (there are sippy cups with a softer top, to help with the transition (or in our case, give our 21-month-old something to shake in his teeth like a dog with a toy)).  Try foods that melt quickly, like toddler puffs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T20:46:23.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7235" CreationDate="2013-01-18T21:10:38.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry a ton about it at this point.  Controlling your tongue while eating is a skill, believe it or not, and some children take longer to master it than others.  More likely than not, he will figure it out in his own time with practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've already figured out one thing to help, by partially blending the food.  Another thing that speech therapists have recommended to us (they also deal with eating because it all involves the same muscles) is to place the food back on his molars, or at least into his cheeks, instead of in front in prime spit-out position.  This can work well with long chewy food like Twizzlers where you can hold onto the other end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T21:10:38.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7235" CreationDate="2013-01-18T22:03:58.780" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was like this some.  Once we switched her to &quot;solid&quot; foods, she basically subsisted on yogurt and milk for about 6 months.  She finally started eating cheerios and other crunchy foods as well as peas--because they're soft.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like Karl Bielefeldt pointed out, learning to control your tongue is a skill that has to be practiced.  Having said that, sometimes kids just have texture issues.  With these kids, it can take introducing a food many, many, many times before they warm up to it.  Some kids will take to a food after a couple of introductions, with my daughter it's more like 25 or 30 before she will reliably eat more than a bite of it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are few tricks that we tried with my daughter when she was REALLY little and ate hardly anything:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep offering the solid you are attempting to get him to eat.  He doesn't HAVE to eat it, but he should be exposed to it.  He may pick it up and play with it and feel it.  That's ok.  He's getting used to it--it's a process.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer soft foods cut up in small pieces.  He might be more inclined to actually put a soft bite of banana in his mouth than a crunchy cracker.  Bananas, cooked peas and carrots, avocado, plain cooked macaroni, etc.  And cut them smaller than you think necessary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes it helped to give my daughter a spoon and let her try to feed herself.  She might have only gotten a couple of bites into her mouth, but she was more likely to keep it in her mouth, chew, and swallow it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer the new food first when he's really, truly hungry.  If you want him to try a banana but you offer it after his yogurt or whatever, he won't be hungry and will have little motivation to try something new.  Maybe while you're prepping breakfast, sit him in his high chair and give him a few bites of the banana to look at/play with/attempt to eat while you chop up the rest of the banana to go in his breakfast.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remain calm.  This is sooooooo hard because it can be frustrating and nerve-wracking when your child eats a diet of about three things.  But if you are anxious at mealtimes, he absolutely &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; pick up on that.  I can tell you from experience that it will not help the situation.  Keep working with him and see if he improves.  With our daughter we knew she &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; eat other things, she just didn't &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to eat some of them.  She's 2 1/2 now and her diet isn't amazing, but it varies more now than it did even 6 months ago, and every few months we're able to add a few more foods and textures to her diet.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you aren't seeing some kind of improvement over the next few months (I wouldn't give it anymore than 3 months) then you should definitely schedule an appointment with your pediatrician to determine if he needs to be assessed for any developmental issues.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-01-18T22:03:58.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7224" CreationDate="2013-01-19T01:02:22.413" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everyone on here has already said, &quot;Talk to your Wife.&quot;  So I won't reiterate that part again.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7234/2876&quot;&gt;This Wonderful answer&lt;/a&gt; gives information about how to go about engaging in that conversation in a way that is most likely to result in a positive outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I didn't see addressed was the 1-2 hours it takes to put the two kids to bed.  Parenting is exhausting so the fact that bedtime requires that much time for each individual child is also impacting your evenings.  I only have one, but have frequently &quot;nannied&quot; and worked in all sorts of situations where it was just me putting X number of children to bed.  So, I thought I'd list some tactics you &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; find helpful if you try to have &quot;mommy nights&quot; and &quot;daddy nights&quot; as has been suggested (and as my husband and I have also done - wink wink @Karl Bielefeldt)  Some of these may be obvious, I'm including them just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure there is a regular, consistent and predictable, bedtime routine.  Here are a few questions that include information&#xA;about how to do that if you need ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/127/2876&quot;&gt;How can I get my 12 month old to go to sleep?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/468/2876&quot;&gt;Do's and Don'ts for an effective Bedtime Ritual&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stagger bedtimes slightly if either of your children still need&#xA;&quot;rocking.&quot;  At all.  If either child has a harder time falling&#xA;asleep than the other, put that one to bed slightly later than the&#xA;other so you can quietly rub the back or do whatever with the first&#xA;and then move on to the second.  If they are in separate rooms the&#xA;second can look at picture books quietly in bed while he/she waits&#xA;for a story from you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Go through the entire routine together.  Brush teeth together, put&#xA;on pajamas together - at this age, they can even take baths together&#xA;on bath nights.  Put them in the Same Room for a couple of years at&#xA;this stage.  Have them hearing the same two bedtime stories together&#xA;(they each pick one - or for an even shorter routine, they can take&#xA;turns picking one to hear.  One child gets &quot;even days&quot; each month&#xA;and the other gets the &quot;odd.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Add cleaning up to your &quot;pre-meal&quot; routine so there is less to clean&#xA;up right before bed time (cutting down on how long it takes to go&#xA;through the whole process).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the kids are watching TV between meal and bed, turn off the TV. &#xA;Many of us think TV time is calm because as an adult, if feels like&#xA;you can shut off your brain, but it actually stimulates the brain&#xA;and makes it harder to &quot;settle&quot; when it truly is time for sleep. &#xA;While the article I've linked is about a study done on people 15 yrs&#xA;or older, I'd imagine this effect is likely the same or further&#xA;exagerrated in children (but that is just a guess) either way, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090608071941.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;TV&#xA;is not your friend&lt;/a&gt; and is likely making it harder for your kids to settle.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Avoid highly starchy or sugary as you lead up to bedtime.  Of course&#xA;they also shouldn't be having caffeine a lot anyway, but especially&#xA;after noon.  Coffee isn't the only substance with caffeine.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put your kids down for bed &lt;strong&gt;at the same time EVERY night&lt;/strong&gt; whether&#xA;it is a school night or not.  By keeping meal and bedtimes&#xA;consistent, you teach your children to use their &quot;internal clocks.&quot; &#xA;If your kids are going to bed at 8:00 every single night (or&#xA;whatever time you choose is right for your schedule) then their&#xA;minds will start to settle at the same time each night, and their&#xA;bodies will be more ready for the shift into sleep making your job&#xA;easier.  Don't give them a later bed time just because it isn't a&#xA;&quot;week night.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless one of your kids is ill, or having some special circumstance that requires extra nurturing, there is no reason bedtime should take more than 30-45 minutes.  They don't even have to be fully asleep when you leave the room once you've gone through the process of helping them learn how to soothe themselves and fall asleep (which might take a little while, but it can be done.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a last (or first) resort, you might try hiring a &quot;mommy and daddy's helper&quot; once per week for a couple of hours to entertain and feed the kids one night per week while you shut yourself into your bedroom, or home office for a little while.  It might even turn into a nice chance for the two of you to go have a little dinner and sit and stare across the table at each other for a couple of hours (surprisingly good for a marriage even if you talk about absolutely nothing once or twice per month).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to you and I hope the combination of answers you are receiving is of help to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T01:02:22.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7224" CreationDate="2013-01-19T10:36:31.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The others have already given excellent answers, so I do not want to rephrase what they said.&#xA;I can understand your situation very well, we're in a similar situation with 2 little kids (&amp;lt; 1 year and 5 years old) and it is exhausting, sometimes frustrating that there is so little time for ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For making the point &lt;strong&gt;&quot;TALK to your wife!!&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; easier, I'd suggest &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;having a look at the &quot;non-violent communication&quot; of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshall_Rosenberg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Marshall Rosenberg&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get a DVD of one of his seminars and watch that together with your wife instead of mindless tv shows..   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it is as well entertaining as informative and might help you understand the other and discuss your problems and needs constructively without constantly blaming each other... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T10:36:31.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="763" CreationDate="2013-01-19T14:01:44.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our oldest began to talk, my husband started asking him simple open questions about the nature of things. I was a bit surprised, hadn't thought of that. But the little one liked that lots and happily tried to answer them. The answers can be great fun too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh and riddles too. The animal riddles are great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3721" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T14:01:44.193" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7222" CreationDate="2013-01-19T19:28:33.970" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given the title of your post, I will assume that your mother is a Christian, but without knowing how religious your mother is (or even what particular denomination she participates in), gauging her response for those of us online is going to be difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However you choose to tell your mom of your differing religious beliefs, I do think there are things you should probably prepare yourself for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Given your age, there is a strong possibility that your mom won't take you seriously.  She might just consider it a phase you're going through.  This will probably be very frustrating for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She might be angry with you.  I think this is less likely, but it's always in the realm of possibilities.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your mom &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; take you seriously, she is very likely to be upset.  You have to remember, to a Christian, turning from God is a matter of your mortal soul.  Some of this depends on which denomination your mom practices her Christianity through or even her own personal beliefs (which don't always agree with one's personal church).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your mom is a practicing Christian, then she's probably attempted to raise you as a Christian as well.  Religion and one's relationship with God (or whoever) is a personal thing.  Most people I know went through a period in their lives where they were trying out different religions and different beliefs, usually between the ages of 15-20.  Most of those people I know were Christian, and the vast majority ultimately returned to Christianity, though usually not the denomination in which they were raised.  A few I know converted to different religions altogether.  For some it was a true search, for others it was merely a form of rebellion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since it seems like you have gone to great lengths up to this point to conceal your exploration of other beliefs from your mom, simply announcing to her that you are rejecting Christianity might come as a bit of a shock to her, and might cause her reaction to be a bit more extreme.  It might help if you start the ball rolling by telling her initially that you are exploring other religious ideas and beliefs outside of Christianity, and leave it at that.  If she asks for specifics then you can give her specifics, but I would leave the first conversation as simply a way to let her know that you are looking.  If, in a few years, you've decided that you are leaving Christianity behind altogether, then your exit from the church won't come as a big shock to her.  She may not like it, but she won't be surprised by it either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, in a few years, you may circle back around to Christianity or find a denomination of Christianity that respects the Earth and its creations more than the denomination you've been raised in, and in which you feel more comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, if she attends church on a regular basis then you may be required to go with her.  This is between you and her, and the two of you will need to work that out together.  I know many parents who live by the &quot;As long as you live under my roof, you will attend church&quot; rule.  I know just as many who don't.  I stopped attending church when I was 17 and my parents never said a thing about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I hope some of this helps.  It seems from your post that you want to be able to express yourself more freely religiously, but you don't want to sacrifice your relationship with your mom in order to do that.  Introducing the idea slowly might put her more at ease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-01-19T19:28:33.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7246" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7247" CreationDate="2013-01-19T19:32:26.600" Score="23" ViewCount="16329" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your son is 27 and due to financial problems, you've invited him to move home. His 30 year old girlfriend is coming to stay. Should you oppose them sharing his double bed during her visit?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question involves much older people than most others, but, I feel it is very much related to parenting, since, this behaviour isn't shared by wider society/friends/relatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask because my parents are asking (if not telling) me to sleep on the floor downstairs.  Am I unreasonable to expect both us and my folks to respect personal space?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of us are religious and I'm unsure of the origin of their concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would you handle this discussion?  My parents and I have an otherwise happy relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3754" LastEditorUserId="3754" LastEditDate="2013-01-20T14:16:47.730" LastActivityDate="2017-03-21T17:44:35.917" Title="Can a son share a bed with his girlfriend, at 27?" Tags="|parents|adult-child|relationships|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2013-01-19T20:41:49.183" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see two aspects in this, summed up in these words: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;on one side, the son is a guest and should respect the house rules and/or the wishes of the hosts, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;on the other side, the parents are making a rather silly demand on their son because he is no longer legally underage and doesn't need to be supervised.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In the end, the parents are the hosts&lt;/strong&gt;, and therefore their rules are final. But it is worth a try to discuss these rules before accepting them!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This son and his girlfriend are adults. They will be expected to know how to behave themselves (or be quiet about it). For this to be a problem in the first place, it seems to me that &lt;strong&gt;the parents have some issues&lt;/strong&gt; that need to be either addressed, accepted (sleep on the floor), or knowingly ignored (hotel, or sneak upstairs after lights-out). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If I were that son,&lt;/strong&gt; I'd present my arguments to my parents in the hope to convince them to let me share a room (and bed) with my girlfriend. Frankly, if the parents can't handle two grown-up guests sharing a bed in their house, then the son should take his girlfriend to a nearby hotel for the night. This would likely not be popular with the parents, but that's their problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If I were those parents,&lt;/strong&gt; I'd have to realize that we have control issues. Our son is a grown man, and we need to accept that. We could discreetly request him to keep his hands above the covers while he's a guest in this house. But come on -- demanding him to sleep on the floor is nothing short of silly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="26788" LastEditDate="2017-03-21T17:44:35.917" LastActivityDate="2017-03-21T17:44:35.917" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2013-01-20T08:22:52.413" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;one thing that my kids love when there is snow outside for the winter is really simple and cheap get a spray bottle and fill it with water and food coloring then they can go outside and paint the snow. Something that keeps them entertained in the colder weather. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3755" LastActivityDate="2013-01-20T08:22:52.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2013-01-20T22:21:39.703" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is about time we all understand that human beings have a strong &quot;chemical machines&quot; component. Imposing abstinence to youngsters is just cruel and it disregards this very common fact mentioned above. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, once you accepted your son back home at his age, means also accepting his girlfriend and their relationship, especially if it is a long lasting one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you should consider how they will contribute to your common life and this includes the girlfriend.        &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3677" LastEditorUserId="3122" LastEditDate="2013-01-21T01:49:32.677" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T01:49:32.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3054" CreationDate="2013-01-21T00:35:13.043" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mine (4.5 year old boy and 2.5 year old boy) have a cubic metre tent that looks like a pirate ship. They stuff a blanket in it, assorted toys, fuss about taking their shoes off, optionally put on a pirate shirt, then stuff themselves in, and go ARRRRRHHH!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A big box, without the stuff, works well too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older one likes welcoming the little one in his home, the little one is awed that he's playing with his big brother and any excuse to shout is always welcome with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3721" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T00:35:13.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7222" CreationDate="2013-01-21T06:07:35.197" Score="-1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So how do I explain this to her without upsetting her too much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say &quot;Mom, I'm not a Christian. I just wanted to be honest with you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will they still be upset? Maybe. But that's on them, not you. If this is something that will upset them, then it probably doesn't matter how you tell them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T06:07:35.197" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7224" CreationDate="2013-01-21T06:13:07.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're maybe asking the wrong question. You really don't have free time with 2 young kids in the house and two working parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to ask &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a) how do we get more free time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;b) how do we better use the time we have together?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For 'a' maybe look at the budget. Just she really enjoy working? If not, maybe it's time to rethink her working if you're already bringing in 3x the income.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or maybe you can cut your hours. Does your company allow shorter work weeks? Many places will let you drop down to 32 hours and remain a 'full time' employee for benefits purposes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For 'b' it sounds like the issue is that, as stated, you both need to do some talking. Doing that with a therapist might be something to consider. Is there any depression going on? Postpartum is not uncommon (and even for guys things can change after the kids). So maybe therapy for each of you might be something to consider. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T06:13:07.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="277" CreationDate="2013-01-21T07:57:07.190" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can improve your chances of getting pregnant, by tracking your ovulation.  If you will have intercourse within your ovulation period, you can improve your chances of getting pregnant.  I included herewith an article on how you can calculate ovulation, to help you determine when is your fertile period. The process includes using an ovulation calculator, an ovulation kit and many others.  You can read the article for the full details. &lt;a href=&quot;http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Calculate-Your-Ovulation&amp;amp;id=7320506&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ezine Article: How to Calculate Your Ovulation?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorUserId="3395" LastEditDate="2013-02-07T14:13:01.167" LastActivityDate="2013-02-07T14:13:01.167" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2518" CreationDate="2013-01-21T08:14:05.757" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a recent study conducted by the Journal of the American Medical Association, the ideal waiting period for in-between pregnancy is 18 months to two years.  Studies reveals that women who get pregnant right after having a child or women who waited many years to have another child have the greater risk of having serous delivery-related complications like low birth weight and or premature birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based from their study, women who conceived less than six months of giving birth had 40% increased risk of having premature baby and 61% increased risk of having low birth weight, as compared for those who waited 18 months to two years in between pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, mothers who waited at least five years to have another child had 20% to 43% of having babies who are either born prematurely or having low birth weight.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20060418/pregnancy-spacing-affects-outcome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pregnancy Spacing Affects Outcome&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T08:14:05.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="637" CreationDate="2013-01-21T08:24:14.893" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is important to note that caffeine is not only present in a cup of coffee but it also present in soft drinks and in many other foods.  Thus, it is a wise decision, to have minimum caffeine consumption particularly for younger kids.  The most recommended caffeine intake in a day is not more than 45 milligrams a day which is equivalent to a 12 ounce can of soda or four 43 gram chocolate milk bars.&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/feeding/child_caffeine.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Caffeine and Your Child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T08:24:14.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11" CreationDate="2013-01-21T08:30:43.957" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually watch the movie first, or read the preview of the story, so I will get an idea whether it is appropriate for my child or not.  I have to screen it first, so I would know if my son will get good values out of it.  Sometimes, I also ask for recommendations coming from a friend or relative who already watched the movie. I also watch with my 1 year and 11 month old son, so I can explain to him what these things are all about (on his level). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-10T13:56:59.540" LastActivityDate="2018-07-10T13:56:59.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1006" CreationDate="2013-01-21T08:39:41.130" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to share how our parents raise us.  When it comes to money matters, my mom is very transparent or vocal about our financial condition.  Like she tell us that this is what we have, and we will have to spend it on this and that.  In this way, I learned the value of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based from experience, my parent's honesty about our financial status, had helped me to accept that we are not that rich compared with others.  But it inspires me to study and persevere, because I know that with limited resources my parents are doing their best to support my needs.  I believe that when you are honest with your children about your finances, slowly they could understand the situation, and from there, it may help them to persevere in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T08:39:41.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2013-01-21T08:44:44.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually used cloth diapers for my son because I find it cheaper compared with using diapers.  Even if you have to wash the cloth diapers and spend for water, detergent and so on, you can still use cloth diapers in a longer run which will make it cheaper, compared with diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborn babies also tend to pee a lot, so a diaper can only lasts for four hours.  So in a day you can use 5 diapers or more.  If you calculate it in a month, it will be costly compared with using cloth diapers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T08:44:44.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2013-01-21T08:54:46.357" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was living with my parents, I made the decision on my own to help them with the household expenses particularly with the utility bills and other expenses.  My parents have done so much things for me, and I believe it is a way of lending them a hand, so they can also enjoy the fruits of their labor.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that adult children need not be told that they should help or not, one should take their own decision to at least help the parent considering that they are already earning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T08:54:46.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1698" CreationDate="2013-01-21T09:03:59.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When it comes to baby formulas, I actually read first on the nutritional labels found on the boxes or cans, so I would know what nutritional benefit would my child gets from this formula.  I also ask for recommendations coming from my son's pediatrician and my Mom, as well, so I would know which formula is the best for my son or not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, I have only used two brand of formula for my son.  When choosing, I also consider if my son will like the taste or not.  So I buy small box first, if he likes it and he doesn't develop any allergies or so on, I will continue using it.  Good thing, my Mom is also on my side, so she give me recommendations on what formula milks are proven effective and good for my baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from milk, it is also important to give them the right amount of nutrients they need like fruits, vegetables and vitamins, to ensure optimum health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-01-21T12:41:58.417" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T12:41:58.417" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2444" CreationDate="2013-01-21T09:17:43.940" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 year and 11 month old son is a picky eater, so somehow I can relate with your problem.  Every children is different, so you really need to find a way on determining which strategy will work for her or not. Good thing, you are very patient about your child's pace and you do understand her needs and on what amount of food she can take on a daily basis. You really cannot force her to take more than what she needs.  But maybe exploring other alternative techniques can help her change her behavior towards foods.  You may also try to consider having behavioral management consultation with a child psychologist, so you would know how to change her behavior or attitude towards food.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just be sure, that when you are trying different techniques, you have to monitor your child's progress like for example using a Baby Weight or Height Percentile Calculator so you would know if the technique effective or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:25:42.687" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:25:42.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7222" CreationDate="2013-01-21T13:11:16.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just say you are a Druid. Say it seriously. Don't tell her like it is a big deal. Just say it matter-of-factly when she or some other person assumes wrongly. I know how it feels like when religion gets assumed as a family trait. If you explain your religion to anyone, don't say it like it is a big deal. Wikipedia page says your religion focuses on nature, so just say my religion involves respecting nature or something more; after all you know it more than I do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to be taken seriously, then you won't want to convert people or explain them unnecessarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your mother still asks you to follow rituals of Christianity, let it not be a clash of egos or religions; she expected you to be this way. There are numerous innocuous rituals that are performed and that reflect our society more than any single religion. Keep it in mind. If there is something about Christianity that puts you off, you can already say not to be forced into it. There is good and bad. You can choose any part of any religion to follow since there is no particular guide to follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that religions don't make us; we make them. So you can be Christian and Druid at the same time. I am neither really and am agnostic. Yet it means that to have a Hindu mother in India means to visit temples when you are expected to. One has to pick their battles!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1788" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T13:11:16.193" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2013-01-21T16:04:47.083" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you paying a reasonable rent to your parents or are you staying for free? In my mind this makes a big difference!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are a guest (i.e. staying for free) then although you may not agree with your parents you owe it to them to follow the rules that they've established. They have after all &lt;em&gt;allowed&lt;/em&gt; you to return home and to put a roof over your head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand if you're paying a reasonable rent (market value for example) then ultimately you are in control of what you do in the privacy of your bedroom. Obviously that doesn't mean you're free to throw wild parties or set up a meth lab, but your personal and private behavior in your space is your own business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rent aside pushing the issue is more than likely going to cause problems and strain the relationship with your parents. Only you can determine if you're willing to push those boundaries and are willing to accept the risks of damaging the good relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3692" LastActivityDate="2013-01-21T16:04:47.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7218" CreationDate="2013-01-21T17:27:46.967" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think that is the norm anymore, but I am not sure that is a good thing. There are many bad things that can happen to a young/inexperienced teen at a time like this. Prom itself is a VERY risky time, one of the first times a teen is able to show some responsibility. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing IMHO is to just have that discussion with your daughter. Let her know how you feel about it and WHY. Try not to make this something that has to happen. Pushing her away may have even worse results. Talk to her like an adult, show her opinion some respect. Maybe you can take this decision/experience and get closer with her. Who wound't be happy to know Daddy is looking out for her and cares enough to show some interest (although as a teenager I wouldn't expect her to say things like that). Tell her this is a great time to show how responsible she can be, implying there will be more trust afterwards if things go well. Let her know if a boy isn't willing to talk to her father then maybe he really doesn't have any respect for her. She can just tell him before she answers &quot;I would like to but my parents want to meet you first&quot;, kind of a test for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't agree with this, just re-enforce how you feel and pray. This is something I don't think you can force. You only have to deal with this issue one night, forcing this will have an effect of more than one night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3669" LastEditorUserId="3669" LastEditDate="2013-01-23T16:36:14.660" LastActivityDate="2013-01-23T16:36:14.660" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7268" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7269" CreationDate="2013-01-22T05:19:11.513" Score="4" ViewCount="7158" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby girl just less than two years old but she can't &lt;strong&gt;speak like other&lt;/strong&gt; babies of the same age.&#xA;We are not worried about this, but we have a question. My baby girl understand everything, but when she wants to speak, she screams.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She started standing and walking in her 8th month, but other babies start speaking sooner than ours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies who watch TV (more than 1 hour per day) start speaking late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this true?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because TV is a monologue and not a dialogue, baby always listens and will not try to speak, as there is no need to speak and no need to engage in conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have had a specialist look at our child, but he said that there was no problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want to know whether you have had the same experience or any information about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3643" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-24T14:52:52.127" LastActivityDate="2020-08-24T14:52:52.127" Title="Do babies who watch TV start speaking late?" Tags="|toddler|speech|television|screen-time|growth|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7268" CreationDate="2013-01-22T08:37:20.197" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a language developmentalist and at 18 months of age I would expect an 18 month old child to have between 6 and 20 words of speech.  You have to bear in mind that development does not proceed at the same rate in all children and that 18 months is still very, very young.  As long as her understanding of spoken language is improving then that is all that matters at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TV can be good for language development if it is used properly, (to stimulate, not as a babysitter which many people do), because it is further exposure to spoken language.  My recommendation at this point is not to worry too much, - I have seen children start speaking much later than this and go on to be fine.  My tips are to expose her to as much verbal interaction as possible, to create a language filled environment, to read nursery rhymes to her, (exposure to rhyme increases phonological awareness and aids language development), tell her stories, sing to her and surround her with music, - all of these are proven to have a positive impact upon language development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1240" LastActivityDate="2013-01-22T08:37:20.197" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7272" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-22T12:19:29.920" Score="3" ViewCount="180" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nowadays a good portion of seemingly quality products from known makers are manufactured in China (as I read see based on reading the labels). There are some info regarding the occassional dangerous materials used in making/painting the toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you choose a toy? Do you use pure wooden toys, or check for on-market time of the specific product? How about relatively anonymous products?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3090" LastActivityDate="2017-12-01T12:06:48.023" Title="How do you determine safe (non-poisonous) toys for small children?" Tags="|health|toys|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7272" CreationDate="2013-01-22T16:14:19.557" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the US, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov&quot;&gt;Consumer Product Safety Commission&lt;/a&gt; keeps track of toys that have been recalled (or are recommended for recall) based on things like lead in paint, choking hazards, etc.  Not sure how useful this would be in your country but I'm betting there is a lot of overlap with childrens' toys between our two countries. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We personally choose toys based on (a) how likely it is to be chewed, (b) where it was made and how much information is available about sourcing, and (c) if it's wooden and painted, we usually try to do a scratch test to see how easily the paint comes off.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also lead testing products out there that will tell you how much lead is in a particular product. &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.consumerreports.org/safety/2007/10/testing-the-lea.html&quot;&gt;Consumer Reports&lt;/a&gt; had an article comparing the accuracy of different lead test kits a few years ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-01-22T16:14:19.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2013-01-22T19:41:43.773" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are also valid secular reasons for a lot of &quot;religious&quot; rules.  Sex has very real financial consequences.  It also happens to be highly motivational, and perhaps your parents don't want you to get too comfortable in a temporary situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I happen to personally have religious objections, but I think I would try very hard to put those aside in order for my son to feel welcome visiting.  However, a visit from a self-sufficient child is very different from one asking you to support them financially.  If you want personal space, then buy it.  If you want the privileges of an adult, then assume the responsibilities of one.  If you want someone else to support you financially, then accept their conditions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-01-22T19:41:43.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7229" CreationDate="2013-01-22T19:59:56.630" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is healthy for babies to have independent play time.  You'll find a lot of research on this issue coming out of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rie.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Resources for Infant Educarers&lt;/a&gt; and the work of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magda_Gerber&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Magda Gerber&lt;/a&gt; and pediatrician &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmi_Pikler&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Emmi Pickler&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However most sleep resources I have consulted mention that it is unhealthy for babies to have interrupted sleep.  The most vehement on this issue is Marc Weissbluth in &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0449004023&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child&lt;/a&gt;.  Weissbluth prioritizes consolidated sleep over total hours of sleep in terms of the quality of the sleep for a growing, healthy, happy child.  It sounds like your child may be suffering from what Richard Ferber calls the &quot;too long in bed&quot; problem where you have your child in his sleeping location more hours than he is physically capable of sleeping, so he is having a happy middle-of-the-night wake-up.  I would increase his daytime time awake, which may end up changing the number of his naps in the process, in order to eliminate this middle-of-the-night wake-up.  You may want to consider adding 15 minutes to each time awake between sleep periods, starting with the middle ones first, in order to eliminate the night waking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-01-22T19:59:56.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7218" CreationDate="2013-01-22T20:40:40.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider: You say that she's 16 and in her 3rd year of high school. That means that she's only a bit more than one year away from being at a university or otherwise possibly living away from you. At that point (right around the corner), she's going to be completely on her own in deciding who to go out with. You don't want her unprepared for that responsibility because she's never had to exercise it before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm saying is that you have two, possibly competing, important things to consider: (1) who she'll go out with now, and (2) whether she gets enough practice making important decisions like that before she's on her own. At some point (IMHO, 16 is about right), the second consideration should start outweighing the first, with you there to give advice and guidance, but not to select or veto her dates except in extreme circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2013-01-22T20:40:40.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7277" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-23T03:09:23.917" Score="28" ViewCount="5573" Body="&lt;p&gt;Without getting into the circumstances, my wife's step sister and her husband are living with us while he's between orders with the US army. She's 28 and he's 42. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While they're living with us, it's very obvious that &lt;strong&gt;they don't know how to handle a baby.&lt;/strong&gt; I'd be more than happy to share some wisdom, to offer suggestions, to just help, but I don't want to overstep the boundaries and make an already crowded and tense situation even worse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help these people &lt;strong&gt;how to be parents?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a father of 5 (the 21 yo has his own place) I've been around that block a couple of times and my opinion is that they're doing it wrong. Of course I wouldn't tell them that in so many words, but it is what I think: if you're not truly &lt;em&gt;trying&lt;/em&gt; to do it right, you’re doing it wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There's &lt;strong&gt;no baby level stimulus.&lt;/strong&gt; They will watch adult (not porn lol) streaming shows all day and holler at their kid for getting into my kids' things (I've told them it doesn't matter; the things won't be damaged). &lt;em&gt;Not even so much as Dora or even Pixar or the odd baby centric website.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They have actual &lt;strong&gt;expectations on the baby's behavior&lt;/strong&gt;... &quot;you know better than that&quot; with pulling the laptop off the couch and &quot;screams and screams when he doesn't get his way&quot;. &lt;em&gt;At 1 year old, no baby is capable of knowing better than anything other than what you teach them on a very basic level, nor is he capable of any level of manipulation. At all.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There's &lt;strong&gt;no attempt at routine&lt;/strong&gt; nor any baby level interaction. At that age, my kids were amazingly easy to care for once major daily rituals were developed. &lt;em&gt;Want him to go down for the night without a fuss? Start doing about a half hour bedtime ritual.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;And therein lies the prompt for this post. Tonight, the baby lay there crying for prob 30 minutes in bed. It was a different cry... wasn't pain, but something was wrong. They said, &quot;he's just crying because he didn't get what he wanted&quot;. &lt;em&gt;Dude, he's 1, man... he doesn't &lt;strong&gt;desire&lt;/strong&gt; something, he &lt;strong&gt;needs&lt;/strong&gt; something.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have attempted to talk about these things once or twice, but the response is of the &quot;he's just&quot; type. &lt;strong&gt;Dismissive.&lt;/strong&gt; Yes, he's their kid and no I'm not the parent. I can accept that. However, being in the unique position of knowing that the approach I'm using for my 9 yr old was successful for my 19/21 yr old, I do have a little experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can just see where all this is going to be in 4, 8, 15 years, and I'd like to help the boy by helping his parents. How?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[update edit june 20 2013]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had to actually confer with the wife and it was only 5 weeks ago that this whole thing came to a head and I basically told them I'd had enough and it was time to go. The wife was 100% with me. It was the week of the Boston stuff, and the mother was irate that she couldn't talk about having a bad day. You know what? Sure, you can have a bad day. However, basic decorum says that you should just keep that to yourself while the news of extraordinary suffering is fresh on peoples minds. &lt;em&gt;Bottom line is that I don't want to be around the person that I have to explain that to nor do I want them around my family.&lt;/em&gt; And with that, they were gone the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sad thing is that as good as I felt about not having to deal with them any more, my heart goes out to that child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-07-12T16:01:19.023" LastActivityDate="2013-07-12T16:01:19.023" Title="How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?" Tags="|toddler|infant|parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7277" CreationDate="2013-01-23T11:57:53.087" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;DA01's comment is what I would suggest as well. &#xA;You feel more experienced with babies, and from the sound of it I would agree with you. I've got two main thoughts for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;1. Show, don't tell&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course -- sadly -- this requires that they accept your offer of assistance to the parents. I think I wouldn't specifically ask for permission to do things &quot;your way&quot; because that can offend them and they'll reject your offer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would also mean spending time and attention with the baby; scarce resources that you'd have to take from your own family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as his parents are watching a movie, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can interact with the baby. They'll probably be happy to be &quot;off the hook&quot; for a while, but there's a hope that they would actually notice that &lt;strong&gt;what you do works better than what they do.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You&lt;/em&gt; could provide the stimuli, interactions, and toys that you feel are age-appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could offer to take care of the bedtime routine, they might be happy to be &quot;off the hook&quot; of that, too. I know that you can't establish a routine with the baby over a short time, but you can demonstrate &lt;em&gt;to the parents&lt;/em&gt; that following a fixed daily program helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;2. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is advice I often hear in the context of someone wanting to help another person who is in dire financial trouble (or headed straight for it) -- it applies to parenting as well. You'll have to accept that you can only &lt;em&gt;offer&lt;/em&gt; your help but you can't &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; them accept it. Even if they do accept your help and the boy has the time of his life in your home, you're not in control of what happens afterward. &lt;strong&gt;This is tough to accept.&lt;/strong&gt; You'll have to tell yourself that you did all that you could, and the rest is not in your hands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that the family is very mobile but try to keep in touch with the family even after they leave you again. Whenever possible, offer your help. If it's not possible, or rejected, then walk away. As long as there's nothing unlawful going on, you can't force them to change their parenting style, even if it hurts to see their son treated sub-optimally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-01-23T11:57:53.087" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2013-01-23T12:43:42.073" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your son is 27 and due to financial problems, you've invited him to&#xA;  move home. His 30 year old girlfriend is coming to stay. Should you&#xA;  oppose them sharing his double bed during her visit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it reasonable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something is up... ask them why. Maybe it's as simple as &quot;we'll be grossed out hearing 'it'&quot; to which there's a simple solution: promising that you won't do 'it' when they can hear 'it'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-23T12:43:42.073" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2013-01-23T16:06:33.563" Score="12" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;None of us are religious and I'm unsure of the origin of their&#xA;  concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, then go an ask them. There are a few completely different things that may be going on here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They feel that it's really not a good thing that you are 27 and living at home. They try encourage you to get a decent job and a place of your own by making your stay awkward.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They may have a rather irrational conception that &quot;one does not do this&quot;. I have no idea where it comes from but I have seen it frequently in US parents (much less in Europe). Pretty much all our kid's girl/boyfriend's parents display this. Although the kids are of age, in long term stable relationships and have places on their own where they often stay together, it's a no-no in the parent's house. It's quite baffling but very real. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are social (&quot;what will the neighbors say&quot;) or religious concerns that you are not aware of.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Halving an open conversation should clarify that. As it stands, it's their house so their rules apply and your best shot is to get your financials in order and find a place on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-01-23T16:06:33.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2013-01-23T20:08:28.637" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe parents don't like his girlfriend, so they try to make her stay as uncomfortable as possible.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Maybe they're afraid if they let their son share a bed with her, she will move in too.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Maybe it's a hint for a son, that it is time for him to get his own place.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Anyway at the end of the day the parents own the house, so they make the rules.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T12:35:21.597" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T12:35:21.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-23T21:36:13.373" Score="2" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That photo means nothing. It could be a joke or some game   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't say anything to other parents  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spend more time and do more talking with your daughter, at some point, when you feel she is in a good mood and relaxed, gently touch topic about gays(don't mention her or her friend, just example from your friend of friend of friend situation or celebrity), ask her opinion, see her reaction. If she gets nervous, jump to another topic.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Invite her friend over or offer a ride to the mall/somewhere else to both of them. Usually kids think that if they are on the back-seat nobody hears them :)     &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You'd better don't tell her you saw it on her iPod, unless she knows you look into it.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Or you can ask her to try her iPod (let's say you are thinking to give it as a present to your friend's son and want to try it), then start opening different apps, an then &quot;accidentally&quot; open the photo. Say in a joyful tone &quot; wow you've got an admirer.&quot; or smth like this. Listen what she says and just try to remember her reaction(you can analyze it later).   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By doing all or some of the above you'll have an idea of your daughter's attitude to gays. Depending on how much she will be willing to open to you, you can figure out if this photo means anything or not. And if this is just an experiment or smth more deep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she opens to you, stay supportive. The only thing that is left between parents and teenagers is talking.. no judgement, no pressure.. just talking as friends. If she trusts you, she will listen to your opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastActivityDate="2013-01-23T21:36:13.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2013-01-23T22:01:47.597" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What &lt;strong&gt;CAN&lt;/strong&gt; you do? If it's true accept it and support her. If it's not, it's not. You won't be able to get her to &quot;treatment&quot;. Being gay is not having cancer. there is no &quot;treatment&quot; and no doctors are required. You cannot remove it and there is no protocol to reverse it. It's not a condition, not a disease. It's a natural human state no different than green eyes or red hair. A percentage of the population (roughly 10%) develops gay (to certain degrees) during puberty. That's how humanity is engineered. If there's a god-- that was his intention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2013-01-23T22:01:47.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7224" CreationDate="2013-01-24T12:06:57.633" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course talk to the wife. The part I'm going to add is that you should practice the conversation. And I mean practice... Say these things out loud to yourself in a normal voice. Doing so makes brings it out of the nebulous netherworld of your imagination and puts it into the real world as you say the words and they go into your ears. It actually works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the point is to think about major points ahead of time so that you are coherent and capable during the conversation. You can also make yourself aware of conversational pitfalls and avoid them so that the talk doesn't degenerate into something unsavory. You don't want to glibly joke about her stinky feet if you know she's sensitive of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;About the kids:&lt;/strong&gt; They are resilient. If it's taking :90 to bed them, then change your routine. It will take time, probably 2-4 weeks before it's solid, but they'll eventually get it. They're old enough to understand what you're saying to them, and the 3 yr old may even be able to discuss it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that a good way to start a new routine is with a change in surroundings... it requires a complete change in thinking. Rearrange their rooms if possible. Even the living room if possible. When done, show them the rooms then tell them what night-night time will be, then start it all cold turkey... no turning back. A month later, barring interruptions (death in the family, major holiday with visitors, major weather event) you'll likely be all acclimated to the new setup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now...&#xA;Even if you don't want to do all that, I just want to remind you of something that a lot of parents, especially new ones, forget: &lt;strong&gt;This part doesn't last forever.&lt;/strong&gt; At the very least, when they start going to school, &lt;em&gt;EVERYTHING&lt;/em&gt; changes. Such routines will long since have been in your rear view mirror.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-24T12:06:57.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7277" CreationDate="2013-01-24T13:12:16.627" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you do tell them. There's not necessarily a right or wrong way to much of parenting, a lot of it is opinion and personal style.  If they haven't asked for your opinion or help it's probably not wanted or welcome, and telling them could damage your relationship. I think you have to ask yourself how much of this is down to their parenting style, and how much is down to you not liking having a small child and 2 extra people in your house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is that there may be no solution. You can drop a subtle hint or two &quot;hey, I was going through my attic and found some parenting books I don't need anymore, you want them?&quot; or &quot;wow it's annoying when they do that, mine used to do that and it drove me nuts until I figured out what it was about&quot;, and see if they bite. If they don't either put up with it or get them out of your house before you hate each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-01-24T13:12:16.627" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7224" CreationDate="2013-01-24T22:50:11.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is not an uncommon problem to have almost no free time when there are toddlers in the house. But a normal evening in a house with kids will look different in different households, there isn't one normal or right way to do things. That said, it sounds like your family's evening routine may need some adjustments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reconsider your bedtime routine.&lt;/strong&gt; 2 hours is definitely above average on how long a bedtime routine lasts. If you truly treasured your bedtime routines and looked forward to the undivided time with your child, that would be one thing. If it's feeling like a burden to spend so much of your time putting the children to bed, it may be time to try something new, or change the routine. Of course, you should discuss this with your wife first what aspects of the routine aren't working and make sure she agrees with your ideas about how to improve the routine before you change things so everyone is on the same page. Do expect a small amount of resistance to change to the routine, but keep in mind the big picture and how this will be beneficial. Be careful to watch your attitude when you discuss the changes you would like with her. There is a risk you could come across as blaming (eg: it's all your fault the kids take so long to go to sleep) and that may shut down progress on changing the situation. The sitation is what is regardless of how it got to be that way. And try to keep her perspective in mind as well so you can have sympathy for her side of the matter. Maybe she feels (or has felt) guilty that her kids spend time at daycare and she can't attend to their needs personally then, leaving bedtime as the only time she has the opportunity to nurture and love on them, and it leaves her heartbroken to leave the kids crying even for a few minutes. Only having honest and non-blaming conversations with each other will you be able to get to the heart of what's going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discuss your needs and expectations with your wife.&lt;/strong&gt; Every family has a different distribution of labor. What is she doing while you are grocery shopping and preparing dinner? Is she doing the laundry WHILE playing with the kids AND cleaning up? It's quite possible from her perspective she's working just as hard if not harder than you are in the evenings. Or she could be freeloading and taking advantage because you don't seem to mind the extra burdens you're taking on, and is just content with the way things are. A good way to bring up this conversation is with a statement about how you're feeling, not an accusatory one. &quot;I would feel a lot less stressed if I had more time to decompress in the evenings.&quot; Discuss your concerns that the number of times a week and hours a week you grocery shop is cutting into the amount of free time you (personally, and as a couple) have in the evening. Ask for her input on solutions. Propose solutions. &quot;What if we did things this way instead?&quot; It is rather accomodating of you to shop and cook daily for meals she decides day of, not everyone would be so willing. But being constantly accomodating can also lead to resentment on your part. So don't let it simmer for years before you learn more about her perspective, and work out a new plan that's equitable to both parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take turns&lt;/strong&gt;. If you're both exhausted on the weekend and wish to sleep in, it's only fair to take turns sleeping in. Maybe one person gets to sleep in Saturday and the other Sunday. Just make sure expectations are set up in advance. Likewise, you can occasionally exchange chores like doing dishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't resent your wife&lt;/strong&gt; If I were in your wife's shoes, I might be detecting a sense of resentment that you feel like your job is more important than mine because you make more money and spend more hours at the office. Managing a classroom full of kids could be equally demanding and there's certainly lesson plans and other tasks that must be done outside the set hours. Is she in full agreement with you that your career and it's demanding needs take priority? Or does she feel her career should be respected and considered just as much worthy as yours, despite the inequality in financial reward that she gets from it? Maybe physical touch is her love language and she treasures the time you spend rubbing her feet to express your affection for her? It'll be a lot easier to work out your differed opinions on how you'd like to spend your limited free time (whether that's doing solo activities side by side or spending time together) if she's confident that you appreciate her and care about her deeply, and what's underlying is not a bout of &quot;oh, he's just feeling a little selfish this week&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2013-01-24T22:50:11.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="379" CreationDate="2013-01-24T23:29:58.403" Score="45" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I do, I'm going to go a different way than the routes established in the other answers.  I think they're pie-in-the-sky, &amp;quot;wouldn't it be great&amp;quot; kind of answers that don't really take practicality into account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lets take a moment to critically identify the problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your kid is being bullied, &lt;strong&gt;the problem at hand&lt;/strong&gt; is not:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your kids self confidence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the parents or their interactions with the bully.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;niceness (or adult professionalism in the case of workplace bullying)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;None of these address the one thing that has to be dealt with directly: &lt;strong&gt;the bully&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/em&gt; You can't expect to stop the bullying by changing your kid. Because the problem isn't your kid; he's not too big of a target. the problem is the bully and consequently. They're a problem for everyone, not just the biggest targets. Talking to the parents has potential to work, but it also has just as much potential to not only make it worse, but to cause adult conflict. It however may be unavoidable, so be prepared for it. That is a whole other discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So lets consider some priorities...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things you don't care about:&lt;/strong&gt; why the bully is a bully. ('don't care' meaning that it's not relevant to a solution)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things you care about:&lt;/strong&gt; your kids well being&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The goal:&lt;/strong&gt; for the bullying to stop.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simple, sure... but nobody has said it 'out loud'. These are definitions that need to be brought into the real world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a list of &lt;strong&gt;things bullies care about:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Self gratification&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the tuffy... There's a pretty long list that would be there if it were &amp;quot;things bullies don't care about&amp;quot;, but my list there is the shortest way to put it. It's not about power, or control... those items are derivative of and ultimately lead to self gratification. And of the things that should be on that opposing list, &lt;em&gt;one of the things that most people don't think about is that &lt;strong&gt;bullies don't care about rules.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; They have no respect the facility (school, health club, workplace) or it's charges (teachers, managers, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;strong&gt;the problem is the bully and their disregard for social standards.&lt;/strong&gt; While these may be rooted in family interactions, &lt;em&gt;taking them into account is completely irrelevant to the solutions that can be implemented by the parent of the target.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that in mind, there are really only a couple of very simple solutions all of which come down to your kid taking care of themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you realize that bullies don't care about rules, it becomes clear that you really hamstring the kids when you place unrealistic rules of engagement on them. It's not a palatable prospect telling kids to run askew of the rules, but in order to take care of the problem themselves, they may just have to do that. And they need to know that there's always options. Even when you don't like the options, they're still options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was in 6th grade, Mr. McGinnis' class, there was a kid, lets call him Dewey Flowers, that constantly annoyed the shit out of me and he sat right behind me in class. One day, Dewey did something -- I don't even remember -- and I guess I'd had enough of it. The only thing I remember was 'waking up' with Mr. McGinnis holding me by the upper arms from behind and Dewey laying on the floor in front of me, both my desk and his desk scattered across the floor in a couple of major pieces. I was told that stood up, picked up my desk and threw it at him, books and stuff flying everywhere. As he was laying there, I started to pick up his desk when Mr McGinnis got to me and grabbed my arms knocking the 2nd desk over and breaking legs off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my 21 yr old was 9, we had him in a summer day camp thingy at a church, a similar thing happened to him... one day he had enough and picked up a canvas cot and slammed the kid across the head with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My now 11 yr old daugher is 2-ish semesters into middle school 6th grade. She's crazy &amp;quot;advanced&amp;quot; physically... 5'8&amp;quot;, 150 lbs, D-cup. She looks all of 16. I warned her that people from other elementary schools that came into that middle school are going to see her as a target because of her 'physical nature' (I think those were my words). One day in early december I was called up to the school because she pushed a boy to the floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;My rules of engagement for my kids&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask the person to stop&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they don't stop, &lt;strong&gt;tell the person in charge that the kid won't stop.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the person in charge doesn't make them stop, &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;then you have my permission to do what you need to do to make it stop.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I add to this ... &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;if you follow these rules, when I get called because you were in an altercation, the first thing I'm going to ask you is 'did you tell the person in charge.' As long as you say 'yes' then you won't be in trouble from me.&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even tho my examples are way outside the norm, that's kinda the subject here. &lt;strong&gt;Realistically, Rule 2 is 99.7% effective. Typically, you can count on the person or facilities in charge to make things happen as needed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when they don't, this set of rules just works. It respects socially assumed rules of order and hierarchy, and it's respectful. However, it doesn't lean exclusively on rules. Because the bottom line is that if the system doesn't work for you, then all bets are off and you need alternatives even if you have to create them. (As is done a lot this time of year, I'll compare this to basically what Martin Luther King, Jr., did way back then.) In both my kids cases, when the system didn't work for them directly, it worked for them indirectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son cracked that kid with a cot: We went to pick him up and the administrator had him in punishment. The person explained what happened, and I turned to him and smiled. &amp;quot;You ready? Did you tell the person in charge.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Yes.&amp;quot; He then gave a short explanation of his interactions with one of the providers. I could then say to the admin &amp;quot;What do you expect from me? Your person clearly wasn't concerned enough to make it stop so my son had little choice.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter: some boy grabbed her chest, and she simply floored him. Boom. According to her, she had this kid in a couple different classes. He only ever messed with her in that class because the teacher was inattentive (read: probably too old). My response to the vice principle was &amp;quot;and what's happening to the other kid?&amp;quot; Well of course he wasn't expecting that. She wasn't in trouble from me for defending herself, not to mention that she'd told that teacher several times and she didn't fix it. I think she got detention or something, which I disputed, and it was dropped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now . . . &lt;strong&gt;I don't advocate being violent,&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;in all of my examples violence was a last resort&lt;/em&gt;. But you know what else it is? &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's speaking the bully's language.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the summer after 6th grade, my family moved. During 8th grade we moved back to the same area, but I was in jr high and went to a completely different school in the same district. My first day back at school, a kid in 4th hour asked me &amp;quot;were you the kid that threw a desk at Dewey Flowers?&amp;quot; And as a 6' tall 130 lb 8th grade kid, I never had any bully problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sons interaction was in june about 3 wks into the summer. The rest of the summer he had no problems from that kid or any of the other bully types. He also got a different provider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter and that other kid were moved to separate sides of the classroom. But, like magic, all her girl problems went away too. I suspect she won't have any more problems all the way thru HS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bullies don't give a single shit about the rules. And when faced with someone as strong as them, mentally as well as physically, who shows that they're not going to put up with it, the bullies go away. It's not about &amp;quot;you're not as big a target&amp;quot;, (which gives some manner of win to the bully) it's about showing that the world doesn't revolve around the bully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, you can follow rules as long as needed. But at some point, rules might not be able to define how to do whatever it is that you need to do. At that point, creating more rules doesn't do anything but put a fence on your ability to get things done. That's what the phrase &amp;quot;think outside the box&amp;quot; is all about. And when it comes to bullies, there's really only a couple of things that they truly understand. More rules isn't one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just like that kid in the youtube video that picked up the scrawny bully and threw his ass to the ground before walking away. (If you're a parent and you haven't seen it, you need to go find it.) To the answer givers in this thread: If walk-off kid was your kid, would you have chastised him for not following school rules about violence? About not taking it up the chain to the adults in charge? I wouldn't have. As a matter of fact, I'd be all up in the case of the school admin. And guess what: that kind of thing happens every day. That one just happened to be on video. And while it's not a preferred solution, your kid is going to imagine it and consider it. &lt;em&gt;What they need to know that when all else has failed, when it's the only option, that it's still an option.&lt;/em&gt; Which, in a subconscious sense, is kinda like you not failing them as your words ring thru their heads when they're sitting in the principles office for knocking a kid to the ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Again, I'm not advocating fighting or violence. I'm advocating following the rules until they run out.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-01-24T23:29:58.403" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7293" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7295" CreationDate="2013-01-25T14:12:17.603" Score="22" ViewCount="10386" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10 months old boy who really, &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; wants to play with my computer. It is not like he is mildly curious - as would be the case with power sockets, glass stuff and other objects which deserve more caution: when he sees the notebook, he gets excited and will do anything to reach it until I put it in a unreachable place where it cannot be used. I work at home so unfortunately sometimes I have to work with an eye at him and another at the computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until now, I am teaching him that he cannot touch the computer by departing him and saying &quot;no&quot; in an authoritative tone. I keep him away from computer this way but he does not give up, and does not give any signal that will stop to try to get the machine. Maybe this is not the best scenario but I really need to work and cannot just spend my time keeping him far from computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, how to keep a baby away from something it does want so much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2265" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-07T15:57:47.000" LastActivityDate="2019-05-12T14:32:38.523" Title="How do I teach my baby to not touch my computer?" Tags="|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2013-01-25T14:45:11.443" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;Taking care of an infant is a full-time job. Are you doing that &lt;em&gt;and working at the same time?&lt;/em&gt; That's hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids mimic whatever they see. They want to do whatever it is you're doing, especially if it looks like you're enjoying it. If they see you touching a device a lot (smartphone, laptop, drill press -- whatever gadget or machine it happens to be), they want to do the same. And they're not old enough to understand what &quot;daddy has to work&quot; means, or even what &quot;work&quot; is, and why they can't touch your machine at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Either I play with my son, or with electronics. Not both at the same time.&lt;/strong&gt; Because I've seen other parents' smartphones ruined because their toddlers used them as cars on a tile floor, we've always had a totally solid house rule that &quot;electronics aren't kids' toys&quot;, so with my first son, I quickly learned to tuck away my smartphone when he was near. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working from home and looking after a baby, I realize that you can't follow that rule. But you will have to separate play and fun because frankly, &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; you are supposed to be working for your employer &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; you're taking care of a baby at the same time, then your employer isn't getting his money's worth from you. So that's where I'd look for solutions first -- &lt;strong&gt;are you working, or are you babysitting?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note:&lt;/em&gt; I realize you might be a freelancer, but I believe that my final question remains valid. You might need to &lt;strong&gt;set up a home office in a separate room&lt;/strong&gt; which your son isn't allowed (or able!) to enter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-01-25T15:59:58.323" LastActivityDate="2013-01-25T15:59:58.323" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2013-01-25T15:03:29.700" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I agree with Torben's answer, the core of this question applies to situations other than just working vs. babysitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a parent may want to check email, do some shopping, or participate in a wonderful online parenting question and answer community.  The issue of a baby wanting to play with technology isn't just limited to computers/laptops/tablets.  A smartphone can easily fall into the same category, particularly if, like me, you use it to show your child entertaining and/or educational vidoes, or play music.  It becomes much less of a clear-cut issue when it comes down to &quot;how can I answer a phone call without my child demanding to play with the phone?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it is still true that the baby needs more attention than you might give to such tasks, including phone calls, there are still situations where it may be very valid to want to use these things in front of a child.  For example, when my wife and I are both with my son in the living room, one of us can surf the internet or do work while the other keeps our son entertained, and we prefer to have us all together as a family rather than have one of us have to leave the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, how do you actually handle this without it becoming an issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One possible solution is to give your child their own version of the item to play with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not suggesting you get your child a laptop, or buy them their own iPad.  However, there are plenty of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dtoys-and-games&amp;amp;field-keywords=laptop&quot;&gt;toy laptops&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dtoys-and-games&amp;amp;field-keywords=cell+phone&amp;amp;rh=n%3A165793011%2Ck%3Acell+phone&quot;&gt;cell phones&lt;/a&gt; that are age-appropriate.  Children love to emulate their parents, which is probably why your son is so intent on playing with your laptop.  Giving him his very own laptop will not only channel that energy into something that he can't damage (okay, a 10 month old can probably damage anything up to and including diamond, but at least we're talking a plastic toy that is easy to replace!), it also lets him feel like he's &quot;being just like mommy/daddy&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be extended to lots of other items.  Toy lawnmowers, ovens and cooking sets, car toys that have steering wheels, etc..    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want to/can't invest in child versions of every item that you don't want him playing with, the only other options I can think of at that age are to either have something else that the child will see as &quot;better&quot; (which can be difficult, given how quickly &quot;favorites&quot; change at that age, coupled with the fact that the item in question is forbidden may only make it even more attractive), or, as Torben suggests, keep anything you don't want him playing with entirely out of sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-25T15:09:57.707" LastActivityDate="2013-01-25T15:09:57.707" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7296" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7297" CreationDate="2013-01-25T19:09:52.787" Score="24" ViewCount="1856" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am Christian (though admittedly, liberally so) while my husband is Agnostic.  He agrees that it is appropriate for our child to receive some education in my faith, but we have been unable to find a Church community in our area that we both feel comfortable regularly taking our child to as most of them would not teach tolerance of, and respect for my husband's beliefs (we've tried, we are in a VERY conservative area).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For this reason, we are not attending church regularly so teaching my daughter about my faith and beliefs is largely up to me.  I want her to know about Christianity (as well as other faiths for that matter) and to teach her how to think about faith, belief and values that allows her room for some choice when she is older.  Of course I hope my example will also have a positive impact, but I do specifically feel she needs to know that stories and traditions that make up part of her heritage (and a large part of our culture) in both an &lt;strong&gt;academic&lt;/strong&gt; (most Sunday School Curricula don't seem all that &quot;academic&quot; to me) and &quot;fun&quot; way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What kinds of things should I consider when choosing books&lt;/strong&gt;, videos, games and activities to use with her while teaching her values both my husband and I share as well as the more faith-based values only I hold to?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Due to &quot;questions&quot; asked about why teach it then?  I thought this further clarification was needed.  I will reiterate the wish for an &quot;&lt;strong&gt;academic&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; look. This isn't about discovering faith, it is about having a relevant literary background.  I believe knowledge is key in understanding.  This relates to building empathy toward others and combating prejudice based in ignorance.  Knowledge can be used to defeat fear mongering against &quot;the other&quot; whoever that &quot;other&quot; may be.  I believe in also exposing her to other world religions, but I believe in starting with what you know best (as a teacher).  She has even joined in with friends for &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanukkah&quot;&gt;Hanukkah&lt;/a&gt; this year, and knows a little about &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwali&quot;&gt;Divaali&lt;/a&gt;.  We both have learning to do in regard to non-Christian religions.  As a scientist, (Botany) I believe in evolution and can also explain this standpoint easily.  I want her to know The Bible well - whatever her choice about it.  Eventually, I intend to have her read at least some of the Koran as well.  When you know some of the basics, it is a lot more difficult to be overly judgmental about those that believe differently than you and a lot easier to find the commonalities as well as easier to make an informed decision about what you accept yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, she is moving into a study of Medieval Europe.  She is a huge History connoisseur and just can't get enough.  At six, she can rattle off names of Greek Philosophers, Roman Emperors, describe Myths from both traditions as well as from Babylon, Egypt, China and Japan.  She can't necessarily remember every date and every name, but she can offer a surprising amount of information from any Human History between the first farmers to the Fall of Rome.  Ancient India and China have not been forgotten in our studies either.  To fully grasp the upcoming period in her history studies, she has to have some understanding of the basics of Christianity and its story and will also need to gain some understanding of Early Islam as well.  &quot;Skipping it&quot; until she is an adult is not realistic even if I wasn't Christian myself if she is to be well-informed in the subject she loves most, History.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-02-04T22:35:56.840" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T21:54:29.577" Title="How does one address Christianity with their children in a mixed faith marriage?" Tags="|education|religion|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7296" CreationDate="2013-01-25T20:26:49.637" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, make sure your husband is okay with whatever you share.  Even if you are certain he won't object, I suggest you still check with him, if only to keep him feeling like he has a say.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are in a similar position: she is Christian, and I am decidedly not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unlike you, my wife has belonged to her church for her entire life, so she has resources available that may not be an option to you.  However, you mentioned that you don't feel comfortable taking your daughter to any of the local churches on a regular basis... but how would you feel about taking her to selected events?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's Church has various family- and children-oriented special activities scheduled throughout the year, ranging from pot-luck dinners and chili cook-offs to children olympic-style events and &quot;bible camp&quot;.  Some of those might be good introductions to the &lt;em&gt;community&lt;/em&gt; aspect of Christianity, and frequently (based off of my admittedly limited exposure), the focus on the activity precludes the more heavy-handed messages that may demonstrate intolerance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Selected holiday services may be an option, as well.  I can't say I've ever attended a Christmas service, but perhaps that might be focused enough that you could find a church you were comfortable enough bringing your daughter to see what its all about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be sure to make sure that you clearly communicate to her that she can ask you whatever questions she might have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, the materials you would use would be the ones you already use, if any.  If there are books (including your own copy of the bible), videos, activities, etc. that you use, even occasionally, share them with your daughter.  I wouldn't put too much faith (if you'll pardon the pun!) on books, videos, or activities designed to &quot;teach&quot; a specific faith to a child.  Especially a game!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to teach a faith while leaving room for open discussion, and informed decision by your child, is to simply model what it means to &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt;.  This may mean that you should become more active about the things you believe, but which you may have set aside for various reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By way of the example, I have started performing the blessings and the ceremony of the lighting of our menorah, so that my son will grow up with those being a part of our family traditions, even though I am not a practicing member of the Jewish faith (my parents were both raised Jewish, though, and self-identify as such).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, I plan on taking my son to my &quot;church&quot; (parks and areas of unspoiled wilderness) when he's older, and explaining why those locations are so important to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-01-25T20:26:49.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7299" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7301" CreationDate="2013-01-26T16:46:02.120" Score="0" ViewCount="21524" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're pretty sure that our 2 month old baby suffers from a gluten intolerance but when we spoke to our doctor she claimed that it was impossible for babies to get gluten from the mother's breast milk. However the midwife did believe it was possible for babies to suffer from gluten intolerance from breast milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So are there any studies that show that gluten will pass through into the breast milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt; (As per the comment from the accepted answer, here's why I suspect gluten):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby was suffering from cramps that got worse in the evening. We had been through most possibilities and got as far as that it seemed to be a digestive problem. So first my partner tried removing lactose but no change. Then she tried removing gluten as she has had problems with gluten in the past. This stopped the cramps and reintroducing gluten brought the cramps back. Once again stopping gluten has stopped the cramps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3778" LastEditorUserId="3778" LastEditDate="2017-09-22T11:55:05.403" LastActivityDate="2017-09-22T11:55:05.403" Title="Does gluten pass through into breast milk?" Tags="|breastfeeding|newborn|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7300" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-26T19:17:45.170" Score="4" ViewCount="916" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't convey to my mother that I've grown up already. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it possible to explain this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that my mom has trouble leaving me on my own, because she can't live with thought: &quot;my child has become older now, and I not need to spend so much time with him.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe I need to make a decision or something? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for the advice!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3779" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-28T15:11:09.380" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T04:11:31.850" Title="How can I get my mother to recognize that I've matured?" Tags="|parents|adult-child|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7299" CreationDate="2013-01-26T19:51:50.243" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing I would say is, What makes you think your baby has a Gluten Intolerance?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These symptoms listed as Symptoms of sensitivities to food/gluten in infants by The &quot;Free From Gluten&quot; (which is an online Gluten Free Grocery Store) are also symptoms for a host of other allergies/sensitivities as well:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Rashes (as well as diaper rash)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Hives&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Asthma&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Colic&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Diarrhea&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Constipation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Itchy, red eyes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Vomiting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Acid Reflux&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Chronically spitting up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Failure to thrive&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Sore bottom&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Ear infections&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Cold/flu like symptoms&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter had trouble with about six or seven of these (including GERD of which Chronically spitting up is a part) but has no problem with Wheat intolerance - she does, however, have a sensitivity to dairy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A quick search on the internet will yield lots of resources containing the claim that Gluten shows up in milk, but they are often sites like this, where the creators are wanting to sell Gluten free products, or they are chat fora with unsubstantiated claims.  What I read that did site any source for the claims at all often referred to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9867098&quot;&gt;This articl&lt;/a&gt;e, which does say that Gliadin, a component of Gluten can show up in breast milk, but correlations between intake and presence of the gliadin were inconclusive (because no correlation was found which means the Gliadin might be there even if you &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt; eat Gluten).  Additionally, &lt;strong&gt;some&lt;/strong&gt; professionals hypothesize that early exposure to antigens for something some one may later develop a sensitivity to are proving to actually aid as a protective or preventative device to developing allergies.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Before&lt;/strong&gt; you force such a drastic dietary restriction on both mother and child (Gluten is in almost everything processed - even many vitamin capsules contain it), I'd suggest re-examining the issue with your doctor (or get a second opinion), confirm a sensitivity to gluten rather than something else first.  If your child is confirmed as having Celiac's (with the help of a professional) or a sensitivity, see a specialist about your child's diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-26T20:17:03.220" LastActivityDate="2013-01-26T20:17:03.220" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7302" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-27T05:45:45.330" Score="1" ViewCount="267" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is 2.9 years old. He is very active and restless. He understands everything but can't respond with even a word. He can say just 1 or two words, such as water, car, toy, give me, etc. After pushing a lot, he may say something if he wants to. He spends the whole day watching cartoons on TV. In fact, he has stopped saying the the words he used to say as he prefers action language rather than talking. Should we take him to a specialist for speech therapy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3780" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-27T15:15:12.650" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T18:32:36.287" Title="Should we see a Speech Development Specialist?" Tags="|development|speech|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7302" CreationDate="2013-01-27T06:35:44.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, you should take him to specialist for speech therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, rather, take him to a specialist who can determine what may (or may not) be the issue and if speech therapy is the next step. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, maybe lay off the cartoons for a bit. That much TV for a developing mind isn't a good thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-01-27T06:35:44.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7304" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7306" CreationDate="2013-01-27T08:28:09.047" Score="4" ViewCount="2477" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our twins are just over eighteen months and are having issues sharing. Given their shared age the answers provided to &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1028/1483&quot;&gt;how do you encourage siblings to share?&lt;/a&gt;&quot; is not specifically aplicable. So far it's mostly minor and we've been able to coax the children into doing the &quot;right&quot; thing when they've taken something from the other. However, we see this sharing issue as having the potential for becoming a larger problem. How can we encourage sharing between toddler twins?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1483" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T18:49:00.810" Title="How to encourage toddler twins to share?" Tags="|toddler|twins|sharing|jealousy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7302" CreationDate="2013-01-27T10:24:58.380" Score="6" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Turn off the TV!&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for shouting, but a toddler should not watch much television, and certainly not &amp;quot;all day&amp;quot; as you state! Our user &lt;em&gt;dave&lt;/em&gt; posted &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7000/109&quot;&gt;this very related answer&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics have [warned] &amp;quot;that parents should limit the amount of time their infants and toddlers spend in front of any sort of screen and reaffirmed earlier research showing that there’s really no such thing as educational TV or software for very young children,&amp;quot; according to this &lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/20/the-real-problem-with-toddlers-and-tv/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's no wonder that he doesn't want to talk - you're training him to be a media consumer rather than an independent individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our user Rory has another great &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5673/109&quot;&gt;related answer&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;em&gt;you should be his entertainment, not the TV.&lt;/em&gt; That page has even more good answers you should look at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By letting him watch TV all day, you are overloading his brain (because small children cannot mentally process so much media). That might also be a reason why he is so restless. By letting him do this instead of playing with toys, you are hindering his creativity and independence. He needs to learn that he can find an outlet for his energy and restlessness by &lt;em&gt;doing things&lt;/em&gt; himself — in a sense being a producer (of creative stuff) rather than a consumer (of TV).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; he's been good during the day, you may want to reward it with &lt;strong&gt;five minutes&lt;/strong&gt; of TV as part of his regular bedtime routine, but make sure to show him something that is low-tempo and &lt;strong&gt;age-appropriate.&lt;/strong&gt; For instance, most Disney movies, and shows on TV channels like Cartoon Network, are &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; age-appropriate to a toddler! An example of good toddler material would be one 5-minute episode of &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbapapa&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Barbapapa&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; or similar — there's a reason why these episodes are so short and (to an adult) rather boring. That's age-appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update: &lt;em&gt;Should you take him to a specialist for speech therapy?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; Depends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't think you &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; because if you turn off the telly and start him playing then he might surprise you will good skills that he just kept hidden because he didn't needed or wanted to use them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I think you &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; go to a specialist after two or three weeks if things haven't improved noticeably.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T14:25:30.740" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7304" CreationDate="2013-01-27T11:35:27.940" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Developmentally they're at the age where sharing is an alien thing, so what you're seeing isn't necessarily a bellweather for problems down the road.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, the best luck we've had teaching our 21-month-old to share is modelling the desired behavior.  When he picks up something that's interesting to him but that we'd rather he didn't play with (the remote, for example) we ask him if we can have it.  He brings it over, we take it and thank him PROFUSELY for sharing. Same for his sister; if he picks up her lovey, he brings it to her and gets HUGE thanks for sharing.  It's definitely sinking in; all I can hope is it sticks when he hits the &quot;mine&quot; phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.practicingparents.com/toddler-development-stages/&quot;&gt;Link for some basic developmental information&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2013-01-27T11:41:39.683" LastActivityDate="2013-01-27T11:41:39.683" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2013-01-27T14:35:21.510" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our solutions after much trial and error:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Texture: One egg scrambled and cooked in a large pan so that it comes out very thin.  Can be folded into a sandwich or wrapped around a sausage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Flavor: Hard boiled egg - sliced and served with salsa and cheese (egg nachos)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disguise: Scrambled and stir fried with rice and veggies&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3782" LastActivityDate="2013-01-27T14:35:21.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7302" CreationDate="2013-01-27T16:05:17.277" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7305/2876&quot;&gt;turning off the TV&lt;/a&gt;, and possibly checking in with a specialist if things don't get better pretty quickly, it will likely make a huge difference if you increase your verbal interactions with him (something TV watching usually stifles).  Since turning off the TV is likely to create a situation where all of a sudden he doesn't know what to do with himself, you'll have to start &quot;entertaining&quot; while also getting stuff done.  It may not feel like it, but this is a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things to do with him that Increase Your Verbal Interactions:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let him help you in the kitchen.  If you separate the knives out before hand, he can help wash dishes that are lightweight and easy to maneuver.  While you wash together, talk about what you are washing, the soap bubbles, what the water feels like, the motions used in washing and drying. . . what you will do next, what he had fun doing earlier . . . You can also have him help with cooking and baking.  He can help you measure ingredients by scooping numbers of Tbs, or Cups into your measuring utensils (or SI units), he can use a butterknife to slice bananas, he can do the stirring, mixing or folding.  Talk to him about what he is doing while you do it.  &quot;Teach&quot; him the steps and honor his contribution.  Kneading dough (if you occasionally make your own) can keep kids busy for long periods of time, it supplies them with a surprising amount of sensory stimulation.  While he kneads the dough, you can slice and dice, fry and saute and talk to him about everything you are doing.  Most occasions, you may not be baking bread, but play dough works too. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have him help with household chores.  Just give him a duster and let him &quot;dust&quot; while you clean up a room.  Talk about each item you pick up to put away, talk about what he is watching out for and being careful about while he dusts, ask him if he thinks he missed any spots. . . You can do the same with washing mirrors and windows and he can even imitate you vacuuming with a toy if you encourage it (though vacuuming isn't as great an opportunity for the verbal stuff).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Engage in touch sensory activities.  Touch Sensory activities are really about scooping and pouring, playing and molding, and generally experiencing substances and their interactions on a macro scale.  Playing with dough is actually one.  Here is an article with ideas for &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2013/01/wet-touch-sensory-activities-for.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;wet sensory&quot; activities&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/07/sensory-activities-for-your-toddler.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;ideas for dry sensory activities&lt;/a&gt; (both from my website), and &lt;a href=&quot;http://trainupachildlearnaswego.blogspot.com/2012/09/exploring-sense-of-touch.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;another article&lt;/a&gt; with ideas for using sensory activities to encourage using description (though it is aimed at older kids).  There are a lot of great &quot;wet&quot; activities too and you can find recipes for making Gak, Ooblek, and all sorts of fun things, but these tend to be messy so they often only get used occasionally.  Finger painting falls into this category as well.  These activities seem pretty lame to us adults, but are soothing for kids and encourage discussion about sensations.  Talk about sounds the particles make as they move, how the sounds change if poured from a higher point as compared to close to the bin, how it feels for the sensory item to move across skin, temperature of the particles, rough or smooth. . .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go on walks together.  Even if it is a short walk around the block, there are lots of opportunity for verbal interaction.  &quot;Oooh do you see the line of ants?&quot;  &quot;Wow look at all the different leaves&quot; (you can look at color in the fall, but don't forget about shape all year round).  You can go on a &quot;number hunt&quot; and learn about the addresses on your house, your neighbor's houses, the mailboxes, streets. . . The weather is a great thing to discuss.  &quot;Hmm.  Its a bit chilly today, good thing we put on our jackets.  Oh the weather seems to be getting warmer as spring sets in.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The obvious:  Play games (particularly rhyming and alliteration games), sing songs, read books together (and then read them again and again) etc.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finally, include &quot;quiet time&quot;.  This one is probably counter-intuitive, but at some point in the day, insist on a short &quot;quiet period of time.&quot;  You can still be in the same room together, and he can still be playing - but playing quietly.  Even rolling cars around on the floor can constitute quiet time.  Sensory activities are also good for this, but encouraging him to look through some of his favorite picture books can also be an option.  Quiet time is exactly as it sounds.  Time when there are not other noises.  You don't say anything, no stereo, no TV, just quiet.  Since is small, he will make noises - as long as it is coming from him and is not yelling, its fine.  He can make them.  Having such time allows the child's brain a chance to process all the information it has taken in so it is ready for more later.  A good time for this is right after lunch and just before nap (if he still takes one - which I also recommend).  If he isn't used to quiet time, you'll want to start very small (five minutes) and slowly make quiet time last longer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While these activities will increase your verbal interaction with him, there is still one more piece of advice I have for you.  He's old enough, and it sounds like you know he is both physically and mentally capable of more than he is doing now.  Because of that fact, don't accept &quot;half speak.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he says, &quot;Give me!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You say, &quot;Oh, what did you want me to give you?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When he then responds with, &quot;Ball!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You say, &quot;Oh, so you meant, 'give me the ball please?'&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, after about a week of this kind of exchange has occurred, require him to say the entire statement (or at least attempt it) before he gets the ball.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Give Me!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;I don't understand.  Give you what?&quot;  (even if its obvious what he wants).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Ball&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Oh.  Yes.  I see.  How do you ask nicely?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Give Ball Please?&quot;  Then, hand over the ball.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't recommend this part normally, but it sounds as though there is some back-sliding that is needing remedy and this kind of an attitude about it will help.  Of course, this part may not apply if there really is some sort of physical or developmental delay in addition to the TV problem - that is what a specialist is for determining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the rare occasion that you do watch TV with your child.  Treat it more like a book.  Sit together and watch something &quot;age appropriate&quot; and designed for toddlers.  Pause the video frequently and speak with your child about what just happened or what you are seeing.  Ask him to describe what he sees, likes or doesn't like about what he just saw.  As he gets older (and the shows become more complex) you can also ask for &quot;predictions&quot; &quot;What will Pokoyo do next?&quot; -  &quot;Will the butterfly go away if he makes noise?&quot;. . . (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIBtzbjFM5U&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pokoyo&lt;/a&gt; may be a good one for you to check out now as a TV option for your child actually).  In the linked example, a good question might be, &quot;How does the narrator know Pato wants to be the postman?&quot;  Just before he takes off to take Ellie the post.  (He could also predict when the narrator asks questions (that is the whole point of having those bits in the program).  It is translated in many languages by the way.  Even interactions like this should be limited, but occasional TV viewing is okay if it is an interactive experience for your child - that means you have to be there and talking about it together while you watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T18:32:36.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7300" CreationDate="2013-01-27T21:36:13.630" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have/had the same problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm 21 but, my mom also isn't tolerating most of my decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My solution to all kinds of getting support in my decision is to do what I have to do and let happen what has to happen :).  Usually people don't treat you as a serious person until you do not have some background that proves your decisions to be correct.  With parents it's harder because they are used to you being a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So short version of my strategy: think well, and do what you feel is right. Don't quarrel with people that may help you (like parents), just try to make them understand that this is really important to you. And after a time they will see that you're doing well, maybe better than themselves, and will treat you as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is life, it's not easy ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. Maybe getting married can help, but I won't be able to tell you in near half of the year, and your problem shouldn't be a reason for marriage 100%.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a nice day&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3783" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-01-27T22:01:05.240" LastActivityDate="2013-01-27T22:01:05.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7300" CreationDate="2013-01-28T07:35:21.997" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can relate to this. But first off, be thankful that you have caring parents. Not everybody does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's understand this from the perspective of the parent - they want their child to be happy, secure, and in general do well in life, (that means different things in different cultures but you get the gist).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need to start talking to the &lt;code&gt;adult&lt;/code&gt; in your parent, and by that word I mean the way it is used in &lt;code&gt;transactional analysis&lt;/code&gt;, which is an &lt;code&gt;approach to psychology&lt;/code&gt;, here is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; title=&quot;Transactional Analysis&quot;&gt;wikipedia page&lt;/a&gt; for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reflect and identify the Parent, Child and Adult states within yourself and your parent and then decide how to handle the situation. You will find it easy to put your foot down with your parent without feeling guilty and so will the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also recommend reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27m_OK,_You%27re_OK&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; title=&quot;I&amp;#39;m Ok, You&amp;#39;re OK&quot;&gt;I'm OK, You're OK&lt;/a&gt;, that will help you understand these concepts. It explains transactional analysis in layman terms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/lWv1F.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;I&amp;#39;m OK, You&amp;#39;re OK&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastEditorUserId="3784" LastEditDate="2013-01-28T09:38:36.367" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T09:38:36.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7296" CreationDate="2013-01-28T07:44:29.747" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Go back in time to the situation when you decided to marry someone who doesn't belong to your faith. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite obviously there were some values that you both shared and valued more than the differences in your faith. &lt;em&gt;That set of shared values&lt;/em&gt; should be the foundation your child grows up with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything else is secondary, just as it was secondary when you got together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid conflict especially if the child is not even a teenager yet. Encourage the child to think things on their own, and acknowledge that there is still some area of knowledge where humans aren't very sure of or differ in opinions. Teaching the child to wade thru disagreements, by focussing on the commonality, is where the focus should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T07:44:29.747" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7277" CreationDate="2013-01-28T07:52:20.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes parents just don't know what to do, or can't accept that they have to change their priorities now that there is another member of the family in the picture. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However once they see an &lt;em&gt;example&lt;/em&gt;, and they find that it's making life easier for both the parent and child, things start to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that without being preachy, start treating the child they way you think it should be treated whenever you get the chance. Ask them politely, for example, &quot;Can ask your child to do xxx with me?&quot; and then make sure you do xxx &lt;em&gt;while they are watching&lt;/em&gt;. It should be easy to do since they are living with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will be a sense of relief, because the kid is out of their hair for a few hours, and at the same time once they see the child is taking to the way you are handling it, you might notice a change in their behavior too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T07:52:20.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7222" CreationDate="2013-01-28T08:11:45.057" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are 15. You are allowed to ask your parents questions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask your parents about &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; faith. How did they decide to become Christian? Or is it because they were born in a Christian family? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they decided to become Christian, ask them how or why, the process. You already have an example that the parents can relate to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they were born in a Christian family, ask them how things would have gone if they were born in a family that followed another faith. Would they automatically have become a member of that faith?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then ask them if they know of anybody who changed their mind about their faith, in the close family, distant family, family friends, acquaintance. Ask them how they feel about people changing their faith.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Leave it at that for now. You need to know how they would react if and when you react.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you support yourself financially? Do you live with your parents? Depending on your assessment of how they will react, you might want to wait till you reach a more independent stage in life if you are currently dependent on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T08:11:45.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7314" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7317" CreationDate="2013-01-28T08:48:49.993" Score="17" ViewCount="19918" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a one-year old baby, she is smart and loves to try everything and anything, including putting her fingers in the electricity and tasting every possible thing she finds :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I tell my child in such age not to do that or this, and deliver her the message that doing something is not right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I shout in her face to deliver the message (sometimes she cries when I do that), or (gently) hit her mouth or hand to tell her that she shouldn't eat or touch that...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel I'm doing the wrong thing, and I need advice from others with experience or knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3781" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-12-08T17:09:13.533" LastActivityDate="2013-12-08T17:09:13.533" Title="How to direct my one-year old baby not to do bad things" Tags="|toddler|infant|discipline|crying|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7315" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-28T09:19:50.397" Score="4" ViewCount="239" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6109/how-to-better-engage-myself-with-my-15-month-old&quot;&gt;How to better engage myself with my 15 month old&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is my first child, and she is getting now 1 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What type of type of toys can a father or mother to play to help her grow mentally and psychologically, and entertain her at the same time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3781" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T14:00:12.770" Title="Toys for a 1 year old" Tags="|toddler|infant|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2013-01-28T13:49:40.977" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7314" CreationDate="2013-01-28T09:28:37.447" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both shouting in your baby's face and hitting her in the mouth seem very wrong to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one year of age, your baby will understand from the tone of your voice that you mean No when you say No. A good way to deliver the message is to say No and then provide a reason why your baby should not be doing the thing he/she is doing. This way you are not simply providing arbitrary boundaries, but logical ones --- and your baby will be able to understand the reasons, eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use more than just No. We have a kind of playful warning &quot;Ej ej&quot; (Swedish) for something our girl shouldn't be doing, and a very clear &quot;Ouch&quot; if she's going to do something that will hurt, such as touching the heater. At other times we lift her out of the situation, saying No and explaining why. If she does something that hurts one of us, such as pulling our hair, we give her the cold shoulder for a little while, to let her know that that is not a nice way of being affectionate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our little girl is getting the message, and often repeats back the message to us (well, just the single word). It does not restrict her curiosity and certainly takes more than one try to get the message across, but it does not involve any shouting or hitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-01-28T09:31:46.067" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T09:31:46.067" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7314" CreationDate="2013-01-28T09:51:25.810" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;A one year child, while quite active with the hands and legs, is in the discovery phase, everything is new and exciting. Putting things in the mouth or feeling crevices through is their way of experiencing their world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, they are definitely aware of when their parents are happy with them and when they are not. They also try to take actions that make the parents happy or get them engaged in a positive manner with the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to move the child away from the objects, look them in th eye and change your voice intonation (without raising it too much) to let them know if there is a behaviour you are not happy about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly praise them with a smile or hug when they do something positive, like walking or crawling, or keeping things in their right places. They would like to repeat behavior that gives them positive feedback. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to keep a positive to negative feedback ratio high 5:1 perhaps. So look for reasons to praise the child. Saying, yes, yes goes farther than no, no. This means you have be on the lookout for positive behavior - it's so much more difficult to spot!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time there are some dangerous situations where you simply have to take immediate action, for example if the child is about to reach out to the sharp edge of a knife, or touch a hot iron or put his fingers in the electric socket. Attempt to keep the home child safe by removing access to these scenarios and if they do occur the first task of the parent should be to remove the child from that situation, it can be included with a loud voice and a loud no. This acclimatises the child to stop doing whatever they are doing (like trying to cross a road without assitance) when they hear you shout in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them get away with as much as they can. It's the discovery phase after all. Involve them in tidying up once they make a mess, so putting things back in their places becomes an interesting activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastEditorUserId="3784" LastEditDate="2013-01-28T10:25:40.420" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T10:25:40.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7315" CreationDate="2013-01-28T10:13:40.960" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is one year old. At this stage it's learning from everything around it. Try to give the child different (but safe) objects and see what they gets engrossed in without trying to push them in a particular direction and take it from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, different coloured clothes, dolls, moving objects like cars, building blocks. They don't even have to be &quot;toys&quot;, just any objects that pique the imagination. Remember that everything is new and educative at this stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding play. Touch, hold and cuddle your child as much as you can till the age of 5. This is known to have psychological and mental benefits going forward. The same applies to rough and tumble play (safely) in parks and indoor playgrounds or even in the house. The bonding benefits are immense too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the weather permits, allow the child to go out and play with them. A ball or wheelable vehicle would help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age kids generally don't play with other kids, but indulge in parallel play, so don't worry too much about that aspect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, rather than expensive toys, give the child your time, become a child while playing with the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T10:13:40.960" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2013-01-28T10:23:53.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's the parents' house and they would be the ones to decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much leeway do you have to negotiate? It depends on &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the kind of relationship you have with your parents. Are they autocratic, or do you get to have your say?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the wider impact of either decision on the &lt;em&gt;other people&lt;/em&gt; involved and the overall cultural acceptance of such behavior. In some cultures even having an unmarried partner in the house would be taboo. In others, people would wonder why you don't share the bedroom at all.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should definitely get into a negotiation if this is a long term arrangement - for the sake of your own sanity. At the same time, you are in no position to dictate terms to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T10:23:53.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2013-01-28T11:50:29.080" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can relate to this. There is no way I can work on my computer with my child around. They want to do what I'm doing. Giving a toy doesn't help either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child wants to do what you are doing, if it's so great that my parent is at it all the time, why should I be denied that experience? seems to be the logic in the little brain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution I have for this, if I can call it that, is to work early in the mornings before wake up time, or after the baby goes to sleep. The added beneficial side effect is that when it's play time, I'm not distracted by work or internet surfitis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T11:50:29.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7315" CreationDate="2013-01-28T12:50:52.610" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Alok has answered question part, however, there is an important thing I need to refer to, which is watching TV for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After doing some research, here are my results:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to some research of &quot;&lt;strong&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;, under the title of &quot;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;BABIES AND TODDLERS SHOULD LEARN FROM PLAY, NOT SCREENS&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;, those are the key findings:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many video programs for infants and toddlers are marketed as “educational,” yet evidence does not support this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Quality programs are educational for children only if they&#xA;understand the content and context of the video. Studies&#xA;consistently find that children over 2 typically have this&#xA;understanding. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unstructured play time is more valuable for the developing brain&#xA;than electronic media.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children learn to think creatively, problem solve, and develop&#xA;reasoning and motor skills at early ages through unstructured,&#xA;unplugged play.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Free play also teaches them how to entertain themselves. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Young children learn best from—and need—interaction with humans, not&#xA;screens. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents who watch TV or videos with their child may add to the&#xA;child’s understanding, but children learn more from live&#xA;presentations than from televised ones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When parents are watching their own programs, this is “background&#xA;media” for their children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It distracts the parent and decreases parent-child interaction. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Its presence may also interfere with a young child’s learning from&#xA;play and activities. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Television viewing around bedtime can cause poor sleep habits and&#xA;irregular sleep schedules, which can adversely affect mood, behavior&#xA;and learning. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Young children with heavy media use are at risk for delays in&#xA;language development once they start school, but more research is&#xA;needed as to the reasons.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The report also recommends that parents and caregivers:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set media limits for their children before age 2, bearing in mind that the &quot;&lt;strong&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; discourages media use for this age group. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a strategy for managing electronic media if they choose to engage their children with it; Instead of screens, opt for supervised independent play for infants and young children during times that a parent cannot sit down and actively engage in play with the child. For example, have the child play&#xA;with nesting cups on the floor nearby while a parent prepares dinner;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid placing a television set in the child’s bedroom; and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Recognize that their own media use can have a negative effect on children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3781" LastEditorUserId="3781" LastEditDate="2013-01-28T14:00:12.770" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T14:00:12.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7314" CreationDate="2013-01-28T13:07:49.653" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a child places itself in danger the parents first reaction should, of course, be to immediately remove the child from the scene, but that is not enough! The danger and its cause need to be embedded in the childs brain as something bad that hurts. Children don't understand abstract things like pain and death. Explaining to a one year old that touching an electric socket will result in electrocution is pointless, he doesn't have the means of understanding it. If a child gets a smack every time he tries touching the socket he will know: touch socket = pain. he will learn this message WITHOUT being electrocuted first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3787" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-28T15:04:55.930" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T15:04:55.930" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7268" CreationDate="2013-01-28T13:32:14.217" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to some research of &quot;&lt;strong&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;, under the title of &quot;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;BABIES AND TODDLERS SHOULD LEARN FROM PLAY, NOT SCREENS&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;, those are the key findings:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many video programs for infants and toddlers are marketed as “educational,” yet evidence does not support this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Quality programs are educational for children only if they&#xA;understand the content and context of the video. Studies&#xA;consistently find that children over 2 typically have this&#xA;understanding. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unstructured play time is more valuable for the developing brain&#xA;than electronic media.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children learn to think creatively, problem solve, and develop&#xA;reasoning and motor skills at early ages through unstructured,&#xA;unplugged play.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Free play also teaches them how to entertain themselves. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Young children learn best from—and need—interaction with humans, not&#xA;screens. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents who watch TV or videos with their child may add to the&#xA;child’s understanding, but children learn more from live&#xA;presentations than from televised ones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When parents are watching their own programs, this is “background&#xA;media” for their children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It distracts the parent and decreases parent-child interaction. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Its presence may also interfere with a young child’s learning from&#xA;play and activities. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Television viewing around bedtime can cause poor sleep habits and&#xA;irregular sleep schedules, which can adversely affect mood, behavior&#xA;and learning. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Young children with heavy media use are at risk for delays in&#xA;language development once they start school, but more research is&#xA;needed as to the reasons.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The report also recommends that parents and caregivers:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set media limits for their children before age 2, bearing in mind that the &quot;&lt;strong&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; discourages media use for this age group. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a strategy for managing electronic media if they choose to engage their children with it; Instead of screens, opt for supervised independent play for infants and young children during times that a parent cannot sit down and actively engage in play with the child. For example, have the child play&#xA;with nesting cups on the floor nearby while a parent prepares dinner;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid placing a television set in the child’s bedroom; and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Recognize that their own media use can have a negative effect on children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3781" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T13:32:14.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7300" CreationDate="2013-01-28T20:30:31.827" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Culturally,  parents want the best for their offspring- they care for you through your formative years and will become very attached. Many parents find watching each of the steps towards adulthood that their kids take gives a sense of loss,  as in the end the relationship will no longer be carer and cared-for, and may eventually reverse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your mother supporting you financially? If so she will still be acting the carer role. Often people have to prove their independence or capabilities one step at a time. This helps the parent feel less guilty about stopping caring for their offspring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest in addition to an honest conversation with your mother about both your and her expectations, you need to start proving to her that she doesn't need to have such a role in future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T20:30:31.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7325" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7330" CreationDate="2013-01-28T21:12:53.727" Score="9" ViewCount="4275" Body="&lt;p&gt;My SO and I are concerned about his 5yo's recent behavior.  She has become sneaky, rebellious, defiant, manipulative, and slightly physical with her 4yo sister, but never with other children. It truly feels like we are dealing with a teenager.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He and their mother divorced almost a year ago, and we know the disruption of what was once their normal life has some place in blame (even though the mother was very absent.)  When they are with us (50/50 custody,) they have a clean home, daily routine, balanced meals, family game/movie/story time.  We are strict but also very loving. At the children's mother's home, however, she has basically moved in her boyfriend of 3 months, who has 4 VERY rambunctious children, she does not promote routine, allows her children to eat only what they want (fast food, mac-n-cheese for all meals, etc,) only pays attention to them when there is a camera around, the list goes on.  She has also began emotionally caring for her new beau's children more so than her own.  There is no talking to her about this issue, as she swears it only happens in our home, and it's the 4yo that acts up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she doesn't think she can be seen or heard, the 5yo attempts to make her sister do things she knows are unacceptable.  The other day she quietly told her sister to mess with the bathtub faucet, while the 4yo pleaded with her &quot;No, I don't want to get in trouble! I don't want to!&quot; And she kept trying and trying until we walked in. When her sister asks her questions, she either ignores her or yells at her.  She'll lie several times to our faces and say that her sister did something we caught HER in, and when she finally stops lying, she rolls her eyes, huffs, and says things like, &quot;Ok, look,&quot; or &quot;Fine, I did it.&quot;  When she's put into time out or privileges get taken away, she is well informed on what she has done wrong, but when we ask her what she did, she looks away, smirks, and just says, &quot;Don't we go to mommy's today?&quot; or &quot;I don't know&quot; until we sit there for 5 minutes, and she decides to admit she knows what she did. Even when we have our heart-to-hearts and she starts acting like a well behaved child again, she explains, in great detail, why NOT to do things, but not why she did them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a full advocate of spanking, as it was done to me twice in my life, and it only built respect, not fear, for my grandmother, however, we both feel it inappropriate for a non-blood relative to physically chastise a child.  He is nervous to spank because the ex would probably claim he was being abusive so she could get full custody. (Luckily we are in a state that wouldn't go for that, but it would still be a hassle.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have methods they have tried for these behaviors and the kids who JUST DON'T get it? We know she's seeking attention, but she gets so much positive attention from us, that we don't know why or how to deal with her acting out like this.  I've been a professional nanny for years now, and I've never experienced such manipulative and dismissive behavior from a child, even ones from divorced homes... My SO says the way she boldly manipulates others, and lies so quickly and firmly reminds him of his ex.  HELP!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3789" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T16:33:22.450" Title="Is 5 Year Old Exhibiting Bullying Signs?" Tags="|discipline|bullying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2013-01-28T21:19:08.443" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my oldest daughter was an infant, I mean she couldn't even roll over... hm I forget how it started, but the memory is that she was there laying on her back, on my computer desk, between me and the keyboard, just a cute little knot of flesh. I had been looking at game screenshots. With her laying there, I'd put an image on and she'd be almost completely locked up staring, scanning, studying the image. Then after about 15 secs, she'd start frog kicking and I mean hard. I'd change the pic and she'd lock up again and start all over. We did this for prob 4-5 mins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how do you keep him away? Diffuse the mystery. He see's you guys sitting there, captivated, and well, he want's to play, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO it's a perfect opportunity for a little papa time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can put your son on your lap and bring up a screen that doesn't matter, mspaint is great for this. There was a program we used called BabyType that blacked the screen and throws up shapes and noises for each keypress and only leaves with an alt-f4. A quick search shows that they want $29 for it now. Pass. It's not worth that. The version I have was an earlier free version and doesn't run (dated 1999, go fig).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the answer is to take the mystery and desire out of it by allowing him to do something on it while he sits on your lap. After a couple minutes, something else will grab his attention. He might even would rather go back to repairing the band saw or using the wood etching kit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T21:19:08.443" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7327" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7351" CreationDate="2013-01-28T22:32:34.417" Score="2" ViewCount="1983" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first child &quot;A&quot; is 3½ years old and has his own room in our apartment.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Second child &quot;B&quot; is 3½ months old and sleeps in a crib in the parent bedroom.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sup&gt;I'll use letters for names to make it clearer in the text below whether I'm referring to the older or younger boy.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;B&quot; will soon outgrow his newborn crib in our bedroom, so we need to get a crib that has room to grow and has taller sides so he can't climb out (once he starts to move on his own). Such a new crib will have to be larger and therefore can't fit in our somewhat cramped bedroom. &lt;strong&gt;We need to move the crib out of our bedroom.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want to put the new crib into &quot;A&quot;'s room although it will become a little cramped and won't leave much space for playing on the floor. We are also going to move from an apartment into a house, but the move will be after &quot;B&quot; outgrows his current (small) crib. &lt;strong&gt;We want the boys to share a bedroom&lt;/strong&gt; in the house, too. That leaves another room as their shared playroom where they can be loud (that makes their bedroom a &lt;em&gt;quiet room&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The move will have essentially zero social impact (neighborhood, playground, friends, kindergarten, etc.) because the house will be within walking distance of the old apartment but any move is a big change and &lt;strong&gt;&quot;A&quot; has a significant aversion to change.&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;Every toddler benefits from solid routines and structure &amp;ndash; &quot;A&quot; very much so but not quite to an autistic degree. Still, change is difficult, and he is not old enough that we can rationally discuss options and opinions with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Should we move the crib into &quot;A&quot;'s room now (before we move), simultaneously with the move, or some months after the move?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We're thinking that moving the crib into &quot;A&quot;'s room at the same time as the home move would be too much change at once for &quot;A&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;However, if we move &quot;B&quot; into a separate space for now (in the apartment) and move him into &quot;A&quot;'s room some time after the home move, then how do we &quot;sell&quot; that idea to &quot;A&quot; when he has had his own room in the house for a while?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finally, &quot;A&quot; is not a deliberate bully but he doesn't yet understand that he must be careful with the baby and that he can't step on him, for instance. We're worried that &quot;A&quot; might hurt &quot;B&quot; in the crib when they share a room, and that we might not be able to protect &quot;B&quot; enough. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because we're both twins, neither we nor our parents have relevant experience we can use. We still have some months before we need to decide, but we need to consider our options now in order to prepare for the change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-01-31T22:17:21.703" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T03:52:02.257" Title="When should we transition second child into first child's room?" Tags="|toddler|infant|bedroom|moving|sharing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7314" CreationDate="2013-01-28T22:44:11.413" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son just turned two last Friday.  I can relate with your story because my son used to do those things, and even now he still do that.  You really have to be patient with your child because that is the age where he is exploring things.  They don't know yet, that it will be bad for them, so you really have to keep an eye on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To give you additional information, I also read from this article - 8 Tools for Toddler Discipline which may help you out.&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/8-tools-toddler-discipline&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/8-tools-toddler-discipline&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Guide the little hands&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Respect little grabbers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get behind the eyes of your toddler&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Distract and divert&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer redirectors&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set limits&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take Charge&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Provide structure&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may read the full article for a deeper understanding of each tool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T22:44:11.413" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5061" CreationDate="2013-01-28T23:02:38.203" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand where your coming from considering that just a mere second that you lose your sight to your toddler, some grave things could happen. I too, have some experiences in the past where even if I am closely monitoring my toddler, there are some accidents that may happened which is sometimes out of our control.  I too, learned my lesson the hard way, so now, I am really 100% focus with my toddler, to make sure that he is always safe.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to dangerous situation, my immediate reaction is to immediately remove my child for any further harm. But I'm really trying my very best not to be in that situation.  I also do not shout at him, because I know it will just aggravate the situation.  When he does any thing that is dangerous to him, I remove him, and try to explain on his level that it is a bad thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T23:02:38.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7325" CreationDate="2013-01-28T23:18:53.477" Score="10" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Ugh.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a first wife, too. She also was a fool. Still is. Quick tip unrelated to the forum: If you break things down to the most obvious base elements, she simply cannot be argue without sounding like a moron. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;So &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; punish the child for lying and you &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; think I'm&#xA;  being abusive?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which is the ham-handed segue into the topic at hand. What has worked very well for me is reserving spanking only for lying. My kids have known, since they were old enuf to know it, that the one thing that gets your hide tanned is lying to me. 1 swat per year followed by 1 minute per year of time out (really it's a cool down) and then a bit of discussion about why they got it. Consequently, there's not very many spankings in their past, but they don't lie to me either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;I know that &lt;strong&gt;somebody&lt;/strong&gt; is going to downvote me for going off topic, but screw it... The relationship with both the ex and the kid is all kinda tangled in there together. If you downvote this post, don't be a wuss about it... put in a comment.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So What I'm hearing is this: &lt;strong&gt;the only time the ex is a parent is when the Significant Other acts, or doesnt, based on what he's afraid the ex might do.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sound familiar? This is classic bully. A 4 yr old will play on the other side of the room. A 14yr old will use a different bus stop and walk all the way around the school. A 24 yr old will change the things they'd otherwise say and do. And it's all to avoid confrontation and cow-tow to the bully's wishes, &lt;strong&gt;especially&lt;/strong&gt; when they're not around, just so the target doesn't have to deal with the bully's shit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You guys can't do that.&lt;/em&gt; You're both clearly hamstrung by fear of this person's reaction. Eff That. And here's some tuff love: Grow up. Own it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;sub&gt;This part is to your SO mainly because of the pronouns I used&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In order to effectively take care of the child, you have got to put your foot down to the ex.&lt;/strong&gt; You've let her go, now you need to give back the parts that you don't want hangin around anymore... kinda like that slightly burned smell in the air after making grilled cheese sandwiches or when micro-popcorn cooks too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do what you need to do with your child, and tell the woman to her face &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You're not here when she is. This is my house and this the way I run it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Well, we'll just see what the court has to say about it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Bring it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And walk away. Go get a drink of water, go blow your nose, get your coat on, whatever. End the convo. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because you know what? If you're &lt;em&gt;very clear &lt;strong&gt;VERY clear&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; about the rules surrounding any punishment you mete out to your 5yo, and you make sure the ex knows what they are, there isn't a family lawyer in the world that will try to take that to court. 2ndarily, &lt;strong&gt;legal crap is expensive&lt;/strong&gt;... and would I be wrong to say that she's not that great with money?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when you say &quot;Bring it.&quot; you're doing a couple things&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You establish domain.&lt;/strong&gt; You're kicking the ex out of your house even tho she doesn't live htere. I've mentioned domain in past posts around here, and in situations with a child, it's very important that domain is clear. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You diffuse the bully fist called Court.&lt;/strong&gt; They like to throw that out there. It's like raising a fist. Make sure you have done everything correctly, then call her bluff.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You show you believe in something.&lt;/strong&gt; Do you believe that the child's behaviour is so bad that you're willing to go to court over it? If so, you need to fix it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At no point did I mention 'trying to work it out' with the ex. If she comes to you, then sure... go to a public place and discuss it over dinner where &lt;em&gt;nobody&lt;/em&gt; is comfortable yelling or being an asshole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the point here is that you do not give her the power of believing that you need her permission &lt;strong&gt;for you to do things in your house.&lt;/strong&gt; Again: domain. Someone will argue that &quot;the 5 yo is a child to both of them&quot;. To that comment I say 'you are right,' but that's not what's in contention here... The problem is that he's changing his methods of child rearing and outright not doing things because of fear, not because of co-parenting agreements. You've got to deal with the fear and establish a foundation before you can amicably co-parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;As For the daughter... (to both of you)&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Signs of bullying? No. But it is a sign that she's pushing as far as you'll let her get away with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to stop putting up with it. If you're aware that she's trying and trying, then you're letting it go on too long. My opinion is that you should start slamming gates on her (metaphorically of course). Snatch her out of the situation and put her straight in punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to reiterate, these are the things that worked for me. Your mileage may vary, but you asked for ideas and I'm just doing my job around this forum by bringing my own experience into the mix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;1) Control the interaction.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has clearly too much control with you and the SO. If she's able to say some of the things you quoted in the post, then you're allowing her to run the conversations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reminder: She's 5.&lt;/strong&gt; She shouldn't be allow to run anything. &lt;strong&gt;You are the parent. Be the parent.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when you've busted her, don't bother arguing... &lt;em&gt;because she's 5.&lt;/em&gt; Go straight to step 2 then 3 and accept nothing less than her acceptance of the full punishment (1 min per year of timeout or whatever it is was always good for me). Again do not converse. She's 5 and it will lead nowhere. Be the parent, lay down the law, tell her what's right and wrong, be prepared for hissy fits, and &lt;strong&gt;be consistent.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;2) Detail the situation.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I've done is gotten down on their level, holding them tight by the side so they can't get away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(pointing) I was standing right there... around that corner. You were standing here, and you said to your sister &quot;Come on! Hack the bank! Nobody will know and then you'll have all that money!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(turning them to face me) That's wrong. You know it, I know it. Don't forget what I told you about lying... That's what happened, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;3) &lt;em&gt;Punish.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never &quot;let it go this one time&quot;. Do not argue with her thinking &quot;maybe this time was different&quot;. Do not become the Court of Daddy and allow her to plead her case. She's 5. Like all 5 yr olds she has a very very short list of goals, most of which have nothing to do with other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure she knows what the consequences (punishment) for her actions are then follow thru, everytime, same way. She will look for a chink in the armor, and it will take a while (months of interactions), but you're after the long term goal here and you must be consistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bottom line:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; You have to change the atmosphere. Hard. Even if you don't do what I've outlined here, some kind of a dramatic change is needed and she's got to know, very clearly, those things that are unacceptable and that mommy (the ex) isn't going to save her from punishments at your house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a forceful parent. Sometimes I get concerned looks in public when I say things like &quot;what the hell are you doing?&quot; but it works for me because I'm a rather assertive person. And sometimes I've made assumptions and accusations that were wrong. But I apologize directly, just like I would expect of my kids, (&quot;I'm sorry honey. I misunderstood) and we all move on. All taht being said, the above is what I think you should do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last couple things on the relationship... the little one may try to tell mom &quot;I don't want to go over there!&quot; The ex, being manipulative, will tell you guys as much. Your SO just needs to remind her that it's in the divorce settlement. And that's not raising a fist, it's raising a rolled up document. Because if there's anything that a court WILL hear and deal with, it's somebody refusing to abide by their part of the settlement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2013-01-29T00:13:37.650" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T00:13:37.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7314" CreationDate="2013-01-28T23:34:16.250" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;GO YOU&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;for listening to the part of you that said something was 'wrong' with your style. I wouldn't personally call it 'wrong' so much as ill advised. But you heard that voice. So many parents either can't hear it or ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reminder: She's 1.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means they cry when something scares or hurts them. The fact is that then you scream in her face (did you mean Scream scream? or merely Speak Loudly?) and she cries, it's because you scared her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 1, there's not a whole lot they can comprehend. But most babies that ages know the word &quot;No&quot; second only to knowing their name. Take advantage of that. I'll bet that you could say her name, then &quot;No&quot; and get a reaction. Read her actions... she may step back, look at you, things like that. At some point you may have to physically remove her from the situation, but truly, you can do the whole thing and get the exact same reactions from her (meaning she'll be right back at it in :05) by using even tones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hand &quot;spanking&quot; is really all about getting their attention. You don't have to do much more than golf-clap the back of their hand to snap them to reality long enough to point and say &quot;No.&quot; (If you're doing it harder than that, you're just wasting spirit) Even that, however, isn't really necessary or effective with a 1 yr old. They don't really get it. Save the contact for a kid that can understand the explanation that should come with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Dude &gt;clap&amp;lt; No. Peanut butter sandwiches don't go in the vcr. Put it on your plate where it goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-28T23:34:16.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7327" CreationDate="2013-01-29T00:26:33.847" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I love the fact that I get to tell one of the forum mods &lt;em&gt;&quot;YOR DOIN IT RONG!!!11&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO wait till the move. If it's planned and it's in the pretty near future (couple months), there's no reason not to wait. Every routine you have is going to be restarted anyway, and you'll even have to start some new ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of how you try to plan it, acclimation is going to take a while, perhaps even months. May as well do it all at once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Side note:&lt;/em&gt; I imagine you've already involved him, but does the 3.5 yo know you're moving? Seen the house? Know about the roommate thing? Keep reminding him. This roommate thing should be part of those discussions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also dream up some things to let him choose &quot;do you want your bed over here or over there? want your toybox here or there? what side of the table do you want your dinner chair to be on?&quot; Giving him some modicum of ownership will let him feel cool and big (=&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T00:26:33.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7300" CreationDate="2013-01-29T00:33:33.477" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple: communicate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Mother. I'm 44 now. I got this. You don't have to wipe my bum any more.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the wipe part may seem ancillary, it's humor that's pretty much required for no reason other than to take the edge off of the general sentiment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now . . . It's really easy to tell yourself that you're going to say these things in context. It's a whole other thing to actually do it. But if you say it enough, you'll both start to believe it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T00:33:33.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7304" CreationDate="2013-01-29T00:41:38.080" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Valkyrie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To add a technique, tho, you could also try sitting and playing with one or the both of them a few times. Emphasize when you're giving stuff to them. Emphasize when you don't want them taking the knives that you're playing with at that particular moment, especially when there's other knives on the floor between you just itching to be played with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or... maybe not knives. Bandsaws.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T00:41:38.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7222" CreationDate="2013-01-29T01:03:05.837" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So how do I explain this to her without upsetting her too much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is related to saying something like...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I have something to tell you. Promise you won't get mad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is &quot;you can't&quot; because you aren't in control of if or how upset she gets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All you can do is express that it's important that she respect your beliefs and that she and her opinions are important to you as well. . .  and hope that she doesn't lose her mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T01:03:05.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7325" CreationDate="2013-01-29T01:18:26.347" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you should know that five is a typical age for a lot of &quot;testing the waters&quot; When I started teaching Middle School, people used to say, &quot;must be quite a leap from preschool and kindergarten.&quot;  and I laughed replying, &quot;Nope, same shitty attitudes, they're just focusing their attitudes at different things.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, in some ways I was joking, but thought it might help to know that on some level, some of what you are going through is fairly normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, it sounds like things are pretty complicated for this little girl and while that shouldn't excuse her behavior, I would consider a therapist for her.  Sometimes Divorce is the best option for a couple (so please don't take this as a critique), but it is always hard on the kids.  Considering what you are saying about her mom it has got to be a thousand times harder for her than if &quot;mom&quot; was more &quot;with it&quot; and consistent.  A therapist that specializes in this field may be able to help the five-year-old deal with her &quot;stuff&quot; while also helping you with options and ideas for how to discipline her most effectively within the situation you are in.  Even if you deal with the lying thing, other behavioral issues are likely to continue to arise if things are that unstable for her.  It also may help down the road if you should ever decide to seek a greater percentage of the custody, depending on what gets discovered in talks between the therapist and child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7330/2876&quot;&gt;Monsto&lt;/a&gt; makes a few great points including that punishment for lying should be more severe than punishments for having done something and &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; lying about it.  However, I don't think spanking is necessarily, your only option, or likely to be all that helpful.  In my experience, &quot;punishments&quot; often don't work as well as &quot;natural consequences&quot; anyway.  Kids see punishments as handed down on high, whereas consequences are something they have control over.  Its really just semantics, but important semantics.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Instead of Punishments Try:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not giving her attention.  Don't talk to her a bunch about it.  She&lt;br&gt;&#xA;knows what she has done and &quot;talking to her&quot; - even yelling at her is&#xA;attention.  If you already have a consequence in mind, give it to&#xA;her.  If one that is &quot;natural&quot; isn't forthcoming.  Delay.  Just say,&#xA;&quot;Hmm. . . well I guess we'll have to wait and see what the&#xA;consequences for this one will be.&quot;  Then walk away with    a really&#xA;disappointed look on your face and demeanor.  Make sure you do follow&#xA;up with a consequence though.  &quot;Remember yesterday you did X, well&#xA;because of that, today I need you to . . .&quot;  When she says, &quot;but I&quot;&#xA;you say, &quot;When you make choices, there are always consequences, some&#xA;are fun, some aren't.&quot;  Don't say anything more.  &quot;But can't I.&quot; &#xA;&quot;No. You chose a negative consequence when you chose to. . .&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When she lies, in addition  to the natural consequences (such as she&#xA;has to clean up the mess that was caused, has to do a nice act for&#xA;the little sister of some sort because she was mean to her. . . she&#xA;loses &quot;trust.&quot;  You can't trust her to be in the bathroom by herself&#xA;apparently.  So, she doesn't get to be in there alone.  Someone will&#xA;have to sit in the bathroom with her - or the door left open.  If she&#xA;does things that lead you to not be able to trust her anywhere&#xA;without you specifically watching, you can't trust her to be alone. &#xA;Because you can't trust her to be alone, if you have to get the&#xA;dishes done, she has to sit in the kitchen and either help or wait. &#xA;(Trust me, this will suck more for her than for you in the long run).&#xA;It means not having as much time to play, it means absolutely no&#xA;independence.  She may as well be two again.  Let her figure out how&#xA;to win your trust back and then ease up just a little bit.  The&#xA;minute she lies, clamp down again.  You have to be consistent and&#xA;disciplined with your follow through, but if you can remain calm and&#xA;cool about administering things so that it is always, &quot;Well you lied&#xA;to us.&quot;  Shrug, &quot;Its really a bummer.  It sure would be nice if you&#xA;would make trustworthy choices.&quot;  The message will get through&#xA;eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make Sure She Sees&lt;/strong&gt; congratulations to the four year old for saying &quot;no.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, while the lies cannot go without consequence (nor other negative behaviors), it sounds like this 5 year old needs something she isn't getting.  While it may seem she has a loving, supportive and caring relationship with your SO and maybe yourself, you said you think she is seeking attention, meaning that even if she has the relationship from your perspective, something is likely still missing from hers (even if she can't put it into words).  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6448/2876&quot;&gt;This answer&lt;/a&gt; to another question about a &quot;defiant&quot; five-year-old, probably has some enlightening ideas to consider (even if you don't subscribe to the entire posting, it may illicit some new ideas to give it a read.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6548/2876&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; is referencing is about a child that throws temper tantrums, the examples given in the answer are all great examples of &quot;natural consequences.&quot; and how they work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T14:50:48.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7337" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-01-29T03:13:48.517" Score="1" ViewCount="500" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Duplicate:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1166/what-should-children-call-a-step-grandparent&quot;&gt;What should children call a step-grandparent?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My stepson and his wife (both in their early 20's) recently had a baby.  My son does not want me to be called Grandma and I must admit I find it to be a bit awkward as its not my son or daughter who had the child ( nor do they have any yet). I also don't want to be disrespectful to my stepsons mother.  So my question is what do I call myself when sending cards etc ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3790" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T04:22:07.667" Title="Step grandma name" Tags="|step-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2013-01-29T07:21:23.223" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7300" CreationDate="2013-01-29T04:11:31.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have to talk to her and explain what you feel.   I agree with the earlier comment, that communication is the key for you to be able to explain your side.  Your mom wouldn't know that she is doing too much, if you would'nt tell her.  This can be a difficult transition for her, to know that her baby is already independent and may not need her anymore.  You may also give her at least a day, or weekend, where you can go out and have a bonding time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T04:11:31.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2937" CreationDate="2013-01-29T04:17:33.380" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to look for shelters in your community that caters this problem.  Your friend should also be willing to leave her family as soon as possible, and call the police for protection.  You can help by giving her recommendations on what to do, your friend will be the one to decide on what she can do to stop the abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T04:17:33.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7337" CreationDate="2013-01-29T04:22:07.667" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer to these kind of questions varies from culture to culture and region to region.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my community, the general thumb rule regarding this is, what do that person's cousins/step-siblings call that person? The same applies to that person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if my sister has children, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My sister's children would call my parents &lt;code&gt;nana&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;nani&lt;/code&gt; (their mom's parents)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My children(I am male)  would call my parents &lt;code&gt;dada&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;dadi&lt;/code&gt; (their dad's parents)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extending the same nomenclature,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My sister's children would call her in parents in law &lt;code&gt;dada&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;dadi&lt;/code&gt; (their dad's parents)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My children would my parents in law &lt;code&gt;nana&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;nani&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What do my children call my sister's in laws?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What do my sister's children call  my in laws?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no separate name for these relationships. So they fall back on what their cousins call these people. Therefore,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My children would call my sister's parents in law &lt;code&gt;dada&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;dadi&lt;/code&gt; (because that's what my sister's children call them)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My sister's children would call my parents in laws &lt;code&gt;nana&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;nani&lt;/code&gt; (because that's what my children call them)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extending the same logic, what would this child's step children call you? That should give the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There can be all kinds of grannies, big and small, young and old! There is(or used to be) a big age difference between the mum's mom and the dad's mum so it's nothing unusual at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However that's just how things are done in my community. You can decide whatever you want them to call you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3784" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T04:22:07.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2013-01-29T04:30:43.847" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can relate with your problem, I'm also working at home, and my two year old also loves to play with my computer ever since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I did is that, I had to adjust my schedule, because I cannot work and baby sit at the same time.  At 10 month old and onward, your baby loves to explore a lot, so you have to really keep an eye on him because he is really prone to accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually wake up early morning to work, that's the best time for me, because my baby is sleeping, so I can really focus on my work.  When he wakes up, I have to stop and take care of his needs. When he sleeps in the morning and afternoon, that's the time I can work.  I can work longer hours if someone is taking care of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T04:30:43.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7272" CreationDate="2013-01-29T04:36:59.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always check the product safety label of the toy, to give me an assurance that the toy is safe for my child and age-appropriate, as well.  I also consider the guidelines set by CPSC in choosing toys, such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toys made of fabric should be labeled flame retardant or flame resistant&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stuffed toys should be washable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Painted toys should be covered with lead-free paint&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Art materials should say nontoxic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Crayons and paints should say ASTM D-4236 on the package, which means that they've been evaluated by the American Society for Testing and Materials.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/learning/safe_toys.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/learning/safe_toys.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T04:36:59.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="799" CreationDate="2013-01-29T04:40:44.980" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends &lt;a href=&quot;http://www2.aap.org/breastfeeding/faqsbreastfeeding.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months&lt;/a&gt;, followed by continued breastfeeding with complementary foods for a year, while the World Health Organization recommends &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/exclusive_breastfeeding/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months&lt;/a&gt;, followed by continued breastfeeding with complementary foods up to two years of age and beyond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-29T17:06:28.960" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T17:06:28.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4930" CreationDate="2013-01-29T04:57:45.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies spit when they are overfeed or it is also possible that your baby is burping which is normal in every feeding.  My cousin is a nurse, and she told me that after feeding, I should put my newborn baby in a sideward position or backwards so he can burp.  She said it helps a lot for the baby's digestion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the spitting continues, check with your pediatrician, so she can assess your baby's situation.  And make sure to regularly check and monitor your baby's weight using a baby weight percentile calculator, so you can monitor your baby's progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:13:07.203" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:13:07.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2013-01-29T05:07:18.183" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every baby is different, so you really have to find a way on which technique will work with the baby or not.  And also at this month, babies tends to have shorter feeding time and sleeping hours.  I remember, that the first three months of my baby was really very exhausting because I had to adjust to his body clock and he also feeds from time to time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to sleep, I don't wake him up, because he will really cry if I do so. Anyhow, I'm always on his side, ready to feed him.  It is also important to note that as long as your baby's weight percentile is normal, there is nothing to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T13:14:02.490" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T13:14:02.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3119" CreationDate="2013-01-29T05:17:50.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my baby was same as your child's age, I just wait for him to wake up and show signs that he wants to be feed, like if he cries or when he tries to suck his hands. For the earlier months, his schedule changes from time to time, so I really have to adjust. There are days when I only have two hours sleep because he will feed from time to time.  My doctor is also closely monitoring my childs &lt;a href=&quot;http://goarticles.com/article/What-Is-A-Baby-Weight-Percentile-Chart/7165387/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;growth weight chart&lt;/a&gt;, so I can also monitor my child's progress and to check if I'm feeding him correctly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3395" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2013-01-30T00:45:33.450" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T00:45:33.450" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2013-01-29T09:54:58.937" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really enjoyed that phase, working with each of my kids on my lap when they were babies and toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, you can't be quite as efficient as when you work in the office, as you are also paying attention to the child, but it is much better than having them somewhere else in the room (or possibly the house if they are mobile) as you'd end up worrying about them, chasing them, making sure they weren't in trouble etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are actually a really good excuse to take proper breaks. If you are like me (and most other folks in IT) you tend to work and not notice things like lunchtimes etc despite knowing that taking a short break every hour is much better for you. With a child, taking a break to play with them, and spend some time &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; working really helps recharge the batteries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T09:54:58.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2013-01-29T14:35:53.363" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Pls suggest some way of keeping her awake and feed longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No. Oh no wait... drink more coffee. Yeah that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There. . . that's my answer to the question. &lt;strong&gt;But the solution to the problem&lt;/strong&gt; is that you don't need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Abstractly, she's 2 mos. By 3 mos, everything will be different. By 6 mos, this post will have long been forgotten as she becomes coherent and sleeps less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realistically, her :05 at a time feedings are extremely inconvenient to working parents or a stay at home mom with household duties (note that, as much as I wanted to, I didn't make a Kitchen joke). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about it. Just try to deal with the lack of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;And don't drink more coffee... that was a joke.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[edit] And I just realized i got suckered into responding to an 8 mo old question. If the poster is still following their notifications, I'd be curious to know what happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2013-01-29T14:42:22.627" LastActivityDate="2013-01-29T14:42:22.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7327" CreationDate="2013-01-29T14:38:10.077" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given the new information you've offered, it takes a while for the oldest to fully grasp how fragile baby really is, as well as the ramifications of new baby, accept those and grow into being the trusted and helpful older sibling (in my case, I went back and forth between my &quot;evil side&quot; and my &quot;good side&quot; right up until I left for college).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All joking aside, My sister and I had separate rooms and learned to clean up our toys after ourselves frequently in the living room until we chose to share a room so that we could gain a &quot;toy&quot; or &quot;playroom.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantages of keeping them separate include not only alleviating the worries you already have but:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bedtime and Naptime are easier in the sense that they won't keep each-other awake.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keeping whose toys are whose straight is a little easier because &quot;A's&quot; more sophisticated toys that won't be safe for baby once baby is moving around more can still be played with &quot;safely&quot; for both &quot;B&quot; and the toys themselves if &quot;A&quot; plays with them in his room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They each have a &quot;corner&quot; to go to.  If &quot;B&quot; is to be anything like many younger siblings, he'll look up to &quot;A&quot; and always want to do what he is doing.  If they each have bedrooms, &quot;A&quot; can escape to his own space once in awhile and has this option over &quot;other options&quot; little kids think of when they need a &quot;break&quot; for a few.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When they want to do something together, because they don't have a &quot;toy&quot; room.  You will be more likely to enforce regular &quot;picking up&quot; which is just a good habit for kids anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there are also tons of advantages to having them room together as well (as you've pointed out), but I don't think it is really a make-or-break decision and if this will help you and wife sleep better at night, why not?  They can have a different &quot;loud&quot; space altogether.  Perhaps the living room? Kitchen? Bedrooms can both be for quieter play, reading and sleeping.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your concern about &quot;justifying&quot; to &quot;A&quot; why he should have to share a room later, may be moot.  If you need to move them in together against their wills later on, you are the parent after all.  However, they may see advantages to the situation even at say three and six and &lt;strong&gt;want&lt;/strong&gt; to be together.  It becomes more a question of when to move baby into his own room unless you only have a total of two bedrooms to work with.  If you really do feel they should be together eventually, I recommend waiting until &quot;B&quot; is past the &quot;needing to put everything in his mouth&quot; stage because of toy safety more than anything.  Hopefully by then &quot;A&quot; will have grown out of the need to walk on his brother too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-02-01T05:50:12.487" LastActivityDate="2013-02-01T05:50:12.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7296" CreationDate="2013-01-30T02:02:21.840" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm surprised no one has yet to mention Unitarian Universalism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.uua.org&quot;&gt;http://www.uua.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a faith that celebrates all faiths, practices acceptance and tolerance of all people and educates on many religious facets. They hold ceremonies influenced by multiple religions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a 7 and 3 year old, I'm kind of struggling with similar questions. I was born to a family descending from Catholic, Protestant and Jewish grandparents. I was raised Catholic as a young child but basically stopped following early in young adulthood. I'm now atheist. However, as a family we did continue to be involved with the original church community for the community aspect of it. I value that more than anything else from it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point being, educating your children on the many religions is far more important than trying to indoctrinate them into one.  That's the path to understanding, tolerance and peace between people. I may be a non believer but I respect those who are not. They are welcome to believe what they want, and I won't stop them, and as long as they aren't doing anything to my detriment than it matters not to me. My plan is to help my child learn about religion and let them decide what they want to believe. Doing anything else would undermine the greatest skill I want them to have, the power and knowledge to think and choose for themselves instead of blindly following in their predecessors footsteps because that was all they knew. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then of course there's always &lt;a href=&quot;http://skeptics.stackexchange.com&quot;&gt;http://skeptics.stackexchange.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3793" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T02:02:21.840" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2013-01-30T02:57:53.167" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can pull my mom's renaming trick - she said, &quot;Oh, this isn't &lt;em&gt;London Broil&lt;/em&gt; (which my brother would NOT eat), it's &lt;em&gt;London Chicago&lt;/em&gt;.&quot;  He loved it.  Similarly, my sister's &lt;em&gt;tights&lt;/em&gt; were too tight, but her &lt;em&gt;leotards&lt;/em&gt; (same exact object) were a great fit.  Also, &lt;em&gt;Bactine&lt;/em&gt;, when applied to my sister's knee, was always called &lt;em&gt;knee-tine&lt;/em&gt;.  Otherwise she objected...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3376" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T02:57:53.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7296" CreationDate="2013-01-30T04:14:30.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of resources out there to help (including your Bible), online communities for ideas (though I don't use those much) and you can also purchase Sunday School curriculum if desired.  However, I want a more academic kind of an outlook than most &quot;Sunday School Curricula&quot; offer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consideration Number 1 - Does the Resource Match with the Beliefs Both Myself and My Husband Feel she Should be exposed to and are appropriate for her developmental stage?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she was a toddler, she needed stories, not debates.  By the time she is in High School, she will need to be exposed to &quot;both sides of the coin.&quot;  She will also be ready to engage in thoughtful discussion by then so she will be ready for much more sophistication.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of Children's anthologies of the most well-known and loved Bible Stories available.  I have also used a Children's Bible with Alice, but had to be pretty picky about which one I chose.  We did get the opportunity to visit the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.skirball.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Skirball Center&lt;/a&gt; in Los Angeles (A Jewish Cultural Center there) a few years ago to see the Noah's Arc Exhibits for children.  Gorgeous and fun btw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she hit five, she was ready for something a bit &quot;older.&quot;  It was about this time, I discovered Jim Weiss.  He Makes Audio tracks's with renditions of stories made for kids (even does Sherlock Holmes and Shakespeare among others).  He has a wonderful collection of stories from the Bible she found engaging.  We've enjoyed a few of his collections at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also at about five, we watched quite a few of the Veggie Tales series.  They are funny, are on a kid's level and don't get judgmental about those in other faiths (within the episodes).  She has a couple of favorites she watches again and again, but her interest in these is fading as she matures even further.  I'm not sure what materials I will find for the next age other than my copy of The Bible, we'll see what unfolds in my &quot;quest.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although not religious in its own right, The Chronicles of Narnia are a wonderful set of stories, that also introduce Christian Themes.  As she reads at a fifth grade level, she has begun reading this series of books.  At some point, I will introduce her to the &quot;matching&quot; stories in The Bible and show her the portions considered to be allegory for the parallels they are.  I have not decided yet when or how I will go about doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More recently, I have loved checking out various &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thegreatcourses.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Great Courses&lt;/a&gt; from the library on a variety of topics.  The company is very picky about choosing some of the best college professors in their field and presenting only the best of the best.  I have found quite a few of their history collection engaging and enlightening.  I look forward to checking out some of the courses more related to world religions and philosophy and sharing these with my daughter when she is ready.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does What I am offering her teach that Values Do Not Stem From One's Religion Alone and Should not Be entirely Dictated by One's Religion.&lt;/strong&gt;  I believe A &quot;Thinker&quot; Considers Ethical Dilemmas Through a prism of Values.  These Values may be Colored by Religious Creed, but Values Can Be and Are not Dependent on Religion?  If it teaches otherwise, don't even pick it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, I have approached a Values education in my home mostly through the model we set, rules we choose to employ and how we enforce them, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; regular &quot;family nights&quot; with ethics and values as a main topic.  For these nights we use activities from the following books:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids&quot; for activities to do once per&#xA;month or so on family night before we play games together.  It isn't&#xA;at all religious or &quot;Christian&quot; but the activities are about&#xA;different values parents commonly wish to instill in their children&#xA;no matter what their religion or belief system.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On another week of the month we read a short piece from another book&#xA;    called, &quot;E is for Ethics&quot; and discuss the questions related to the&#xA;    reading as a family.  It is aimed at helping young children learn&#xA;    to think through ethical dilemmas.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Along the same lines, we read one of Aesop's Fables on the other two&#xA;weeks of the month and all guess at what the moral of the story&#xA;might be before the reader reads out the &quot;official&quot; moral.  We then&#xA;re-tell the story in a &quot;modern&quot; way together.  As she gets older, my&#xA;daughter has been more and more involved in making up the &quot;modern&quot;&#xA;versions.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We have discussed an &quot;inner voice,&quot; &quot;Conscience,&quot; &quot;Jiminy Cricket,&quot; kind of a inner helper that sometimes offers intuition about the really tough choices.  I believe, as do others, this inner voice comes from God and she knows that.  She also knows her Dad attributes it to a sort of shared energy or power that is more spiritual, but NOT God.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe being this explicit about things sets her up to be a child that knows vocabulary associated with ethical decision making and that allows her to separate this from religion.  There are plenty of religious people that are not ethical and plenty of non-religious people who are ethical.  Of course vice versa is also true and it is important to get past stereotyping based on adherence to a specific faith.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eventually, I Want her To be Well Versed in the History of the Rise of Christianity.  The Good influences and The Bad.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have taken a couple of college-level courses about religion, and The Bible itself which I feel helps and will continue to help with this a lot.  It puts the whole thing in it's proper historical context when you do this and allows the adult to learn a bit more about the politics that also shaped what The Bible is today.  The more knowledgeable you are as a teacher, the broader your view when teaching things to your kids.  I found OT, Comparative Religions and NT (New Testament) incredibly eye-opening and loved every minute of all three courses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There is a Certain Amount of What Any Believer Does That. . .&lt;/strong&gt; will come across to that believer's children not matter what the believer does.  If I never explicitly taught my daughter anything, she would still come away from growing up with me and with her Dad with a set of values and beliefs about the world whether we liked them or not.  I know that, and acknowledge it often. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-02-06T15:38:07.927" LastActivityDate="2013-02-06T15:38:07.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7355" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7356" CreationDate="2013-01-30T06:13:50.427" Score="12" ViewCount="33267" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old pre-schooler exhibits some behaviors that have my wife &amp;amp; I a little concerned, but we're unsure whether there's a real problem or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll try to summarize some of his behaviors and/or personality traits (positive &amp;amp; negative), then go over some of it in a little more detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Destructive behaviors&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;note&lt;/em&gt; most of these behaviors occurred between ages 2 - 4; over the last year we've noticed a decline in his destructive tendencies, though he still peals stickers off things, and his toy breakage is roughly on par with his older brother at this age.  Furthermore, as we've tried to understand the &amp;quot;why&amp;quot; of this, as best we can tell he does it out of pure curiosity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Peeling stickers, paint, &amp;amp; other decorations off his property, or off the wall in his room (peeling the paint off his room was one we've only recently arrested; he was regularly destroying the paint job in his room).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tearing pages out of books, and tearing other paper things (posters, calendars, etc); these are always his property, I've never seen him destroy someone else's property&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breaking his own toys -- usually by playing rough; I don't recollect him destroying / breaking toys just because he was curious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Personality traits&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He does not have trouble bonding with people -- eg, he does not avoid physical contact (likes hugs/kisses from parents, sometimes hugs/kisses siblings), and enjoys hanging out with parents / siblings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's very curious and talkative; loves to read, play video games, and especially loves cars and other vehicles (tractors, monster trucks, etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He doesn't usually understand humor.  He often mistakes playful situations for offensive behaviors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Punishments generally don't phase him, except to upset him; we learned a long time ago that taking things away, spankings, etc, do not encourage him to alter his behavior.  Furthermore, his lack of interest in &amp;quot;things&amp;quot; (discussed below) negates the possibility of rewarding him with treats, toys, etc; however, rewards such as spending time with mom/dad, or doing other things do seem to motivate him more.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has a very high pain threshold; if someone hurts him (eg, rough-housing), he doesn't cry/scream [typically], he just gets angry.&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;On a related note, there's one particular quirk I've noticed lately that concerns me.  My wife and her [biological] brother have a 'tick': they pick at their thumbs to the point of bleeding/cracking.  This behavior has been around since they were both young teenagers, and neither one can explain why they do it other than it being a nervous habit.  So far as I know, my son has never observed this particular behavior, and now he's started doing it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's always been very defiant about swallowing his food.  When he decides he doesn't want to swallow something, he'll keep it in his mouth for hours if you let him.&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This defiance extends to other things as well; when he makes up his mind that he does not want to do something, he'll just clamp his mouth shut and ignore you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He does not form attachments to things.  I'll talk about this more below.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our pediatrician suspects he may fall in the class of children with Opposition Defiance Disorder.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He exhibits ADHD symptoms -- inability to focus / concentrate, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing I want to explore is his lack of concern w/regard to personal property.  We're concerned it may grow into something more serious as he gets older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently he got a &amp;quot;slot car&amp;quot; track for his birthday and destroyed it by playing too rough with it (within about a month or two).  He helped throw it away without argument, and kept talking about something unrelated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife was helping him organize his bedroom and purge it of old/unused and broken toys.  He spoke fondly of many of the toys, but showed no interest in keeping them; it didn't seem to bother him that they'd be gone permanently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't matter if it's something he plays with regularly, how long he's had it, who gave it to him, where he got it, etc.  He's never attached himself to any one thing (eg, a security blanket).  When I've taken things as punishment he'll make a show of being upset, get over it very quickly, and thereafter shows very little interest in getting it back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has had trouble getting along with his older brother the past few years, though they've been getting along better the last year or so (we tried having them share rooms a few years ago before they were clashing; we put a stop to that after they destroyed a room (pealed paint, peed on carpet, poop in heater vents, peed in radio, etc) and one of them bit the other).  He gets along with his other siblings quite well (for a 5 year old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, we're worried his behavior could grow to encompass more anti-social behaviors.  My wife says it almost seems like he's less caring/emotional in general, and is worried he has (or may develop) a similar inability to place value on people or relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are we dealing with here?  What can we do to help him?  If he grows into an adult who doesn't particularly value 'things', but is an otherwise well-adjusted person, I'm ok with that.  However, if there's something going on I can help him with I don't want to let him down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;update 8/4/2016&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A commenter requested an update on our situation so here it is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Family dynamic&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;5 children: 2 older siblings (girl, boy) &amp;amp; 2 younger siblings (girl, boy)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 working parent, other parent part time college&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pets: turtle, dog, currently 1 rat (the others have been getting old &amp;amp; dying on us)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Personality traits&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Emotionally speaking he seems to be developing.  My post has &amp;quot;somewhat unemotional&amp;quot; in the title, though I would now amend that to &amp;quot;emotionally reserved&amp;quot;.  Sometimes he seems not to understand either what he's feeling or how others are feeling, but he does seem to be learning to understand emotions.  This was probably my largest concern when I originally wrote this post and I'm happy to say that aspect of his development doesn't concern me nearly as much as it used to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has begun forming some attachments to objects; there's a stuffed seal he carries around everywhere and loves to rub his mouth/nose against it -- especially when agitated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's a fast reader and when he chooses to he reads a wide variety of books -- when he chooses to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Like many children he has explored lying, cheating, stealing, etc.  I do not feel as though these behaviors are more or less pronounced than any of his older siblings has been.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He tends to be more willing to take responsibility for poor decisions as compared to his older siblings.  We had an incident earlier this year with money missing from my wife's purse.  Since I didn't know who was responsible I stopped paying allowances.  He didn't fess up until I helped him realize everyone would be punished.  I was concerned at first he wasn't responsible and was just trying to spare his siblings' the punishment but he knew details no one else had.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;On the one hand I feel as though it's not usually obvious to him when an action or situation will cause someone discomfort.  On the other hand, when he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; aware of it he'll usually go out of his way (sometimes a little too far) to make them happy; exceptions being anyone he perceives as a perpetual irritant.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He tends to be rather easy to take advantage of; some examples:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids in school have been able to convince him to do inappropriate things (eg, pull down pants in class)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His brother convinced him to pay $5 to hear a &amp;quot;secret&amp;quot; that wasn't useful&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our children were participating in an AWANA group at a local church we don't attend.  He had difficulty getting along with some of the kids and they started bullying him.  He would become aggravated then they would complain to leaders &amp;amp; their parents that he was upsetting them.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A few incidents in particular made it fairly clear they were intentionally egging him on so they could get him in trouble.  We tried to work with the leaders but they eventually asked us not to bring him back.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;We felt as though they had less interest in his welfare and more interest in getting rid of a difficult child; we removed all of our children from their organization.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Destructive behaviors&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He still exhibits some destructive tendencies but they're far more infrequent.  The paint peeling in particular is still a problem and mostly manifests when he's agitated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He likes to fidget and we've found it's been more constructive to allow him access to things he can destroy than trying to teach him not to&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When reading books the book often doesn't survive.  If you watch him while reading he'll be absently bending/unbending, wiggling and sometimes tearing pages.  He's usually not aware he's doing it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His school has put him on an individual education plan (IEP).  Among other things they've begun using &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_therapy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;occupational therapy&lt;/a&gt; techniques when he seems agitated or is struggling to concentrate.  They finalized everything at the end of the school year and we're on summer break, so we don't yet have a clear idea of how much it's helping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition I've been trying to apply the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nurtured_Heart_Approach&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;nurtured heart approach&lt;/a&gt; as described in the book &amp;quot;Transforming the Difficult Child&amp;quot;, though I'll readily admit I've struggled to be consistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall I feel as though things are going rather smoothly all things considered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's sometimes difficult to work with him I also feel encouraged; some of the things that make it hard to work with him can be leveraged as strengths instead of limitations.  As an example my brother once remarked that he considers his (and my) ADHD to be like a super power: yes it's quite hard for us to concentrate, but when we can pull it off we become hyperfocused (concentrating to the exclusion of all else).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;update 8/9/2018&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We believe we're dealing with Aspergers.  Some years back we tried to get an official diagnosis from a trained psychologist but we couldn't afford the test (~$1500).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a charter school nearby (K-12) that specializes in dealing with children on the spectrum, but they allow any student into the school that expresses an interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe transfering him to that school was the right move as they're far more patient with him (eg, if he wants a wobble chair, they provide it) and provide him with regular access to an occupational therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a hard time interacting with kids his own age mostly because they don't have patience for him (he always has stuff to talk about with anyone who'll listen), but overall things still seem to be progressing smoothly (relatively).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update 9/5/2021&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is almost 14.  In retrospect I wish I had given him more things to tear apart when he was younger; I firmly believe he was destroying things out of curiosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has decided to be a blacksmith carpenter interior decorator.  He's also been teaching himself Japanese for ~4 months and learning to produce songs on various websites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately his interest in smithing caused irreparable harm to our new patio, but thankfully (for him) I had recently heard Covey say he kept himself calm in a similar situation by saying &amp;quot;I'm not raising grass, I'm raising teenage boys&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been struggling in maths because he refused to do the work and fell behind, however he asked if I would help him get caught up.  Knowing him as I do I heard general Akbar shouting &amp;quot;It's a trap!&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I try to teach something familiar like basic ALgebra he gets obstinate, so I've been going about it by introducing more advanced but approachable concepts.  He still fights me on it but he has been cooperating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been pestering us to allow him to date, however the rule is they wait until 16.  It's cool though that he's showing interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still has a temper.  The other day he came close to assaulting me, however he's now mature enough I can help him understand the consequences and help him understand how important it is to be in control at all times.  My kids haven't seen me &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; lose my temper and I used that as an opportunity to get him to be more aware of himself in that regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3794" LastEditorUserId="3794" LastEditDate="2021-09-07T18:27:17.590" LastActivityDate="2021-09-08T14:31:46.193" Title="Somewhat unemotional, destructive pre-schooler; shows no strong attachment to things. How can we help him?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|attachment|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7355" CreationDate="2013-01-30T17:15:28.543" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a teacher of twice exceptional kids (Kids with both a &amp;quot;disability&amp;quot; such as ODD, Dyslexia, Aspberger's, Tourette's . . . As well as an extreme Gift or Talent usually expressed with a very high IQ fall into the twice exceptional category)  I encountered a fair number of &lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20171213230026/https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMHT0024865/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;ODD&lt;/a&gt; kids (I know, unfortunate acronym for &lt;em&gt;Oppositional Defiant Disorder&lt;/em&gt;.  They really need to come up with a different name).  To answer your question in short, if the pediatrician is right, &lt;strong&gt;You are in for quite a ride&lt;/strong&gt;.  This will not be easy, but maybe in the end it will be that much more rewarding - I know with teaching it was.  My most favorite students have often wound up being my ODD kids in the end (Shhh. . . don't tell anyone.  Yes, teachers have favorites).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know a lot about how ODD gets diagnosed or treated, but I do know what worked best in motivating them in my classroom and that was (believe it or not) to hand over a lot of control to them, avoid &amp;quot;punishing&amp;quot; (I explain more - it does not mean just letting them get away with stuff), and I had to be ready to listen.  After my experience with ODD kids, I have actually become a very different kind of parent and found many of the techniques I learned in teaching help with any kind of kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to the less caring thing.  He probably cares a lot more than you know - deep down, but he doesn't know where his defiance comes from or what to do about it.  His need for control is more important than his need for toys or friends or... (on a subconscious level).  Therefore, it becomes your job to teach him ways to see himself as in control and to teach him how to be in control.  As he learns to do this, he will also build the kind of confidence that will help be successful enough with his &amp;quot;stuff&amp;quot; and with friends to allow himself to build attachments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What To Do&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get Help:  Professionals that have dealt with this before will have tools at their disposal including the most up-to-date studies and information, techniques to use with him, and techniques to teach you to help yourselves with the additional stress having one of these kids can create.  USE THEM!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Include the older brother in this help.  He needs coping mechanisms for dealing with little bro too, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; he is likely to either become little brother's biggest ally or worst enemy in the end.  If he has help in understanding his little brother and in knowing his feelings and needs are being responded too, you help encourage the &amp;quot;ally&amp;quot; possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use Choices as often as Possible:  Kids with ODD are especially prone to fighting for control.  If they can get you mad at them, they take it as a sign of being in control of you.  The more you try to control any given situation, the harder it will be because your son will dig in that much more.  To hand over control, offer choices that are reasonable to you.  With homework an example of this would be, &amp;quot;Would you like to do your math first or your spelling first?&amp;quot;  The choice is not whether to do homework or not, but which order to do it in.  Some kids will say neither (I'll deal with that in a minute), but for many kids this tactic works to  help them feel as though they are the ones in the driver's seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;More than any other parent, you will need to develop a relationship with your child that is much more like a mentorship.  Your son needs you to listen, listen, listen to whatever it is.  Not just with the emotional stuff, but with whatever he is thinking about.  Doing this, puts you in the image of teammate, and guide - someone your child can &lt;strong&gt;choose&lt;/strong&gt; to go to when the going gets tough.  You really want to be that person so he isn't seeking advice from less trustworthy people.  Learn how to paraphrase, summarize and clarify in much the same way a therapist would, &lt;strong&gt;before&lt;/strong&gt; offering up your reactions, thoughts, and ideas or opinions about whatever he brings up for discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Learn how to be generally devoid of any emotion other than empathy so he is not able to ruffle your feathers or get you upset.  This is really important in maintaining a balance of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Punishments and Rewards&lt;/strong&gt; honestly &lt;strong&gt;Do Not work with these kids.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Some people will argue &amp;quot;A Good Swift Kick in the Pants Is What your kid needs.&amp;quot;  Don't listen.  Many parents of the teens and pre-teens I taught resorted to spanking in desperation when the kids were younger and sincerely regretted it when their kids got bigger.  Violence begets violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to other punishment/reward systems.  These kids simply are not motivated by punishments or rewards, they are motivated by control.  This becomes pretty sticky when it comes to motivating kids to do things that none of us really want to do frankly, but, with perseverance and disciplined consistency on your part, it &lt;strong&gt;CAN&lt;/strong&gt; be done with natural consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let your son fail, and then use that role as &amp;quot;mentor&amp;quot; to discuss why he is facing the consequences that come with failure.  When he fails to take care of his books, calendars, toys, clothes etc. and you refuse to replace them, eventually he will run out of &amp;quot;stuff&amp;quot; to destroy.  When this happens it will &lt;strong&gt;suck&lt;/strong&gt; for him.  Be there not with &amp;quot;I told you so's&amp;quot; but with, &amp;quot;Yeah buddy, I know you want some new toys.  I feel bad with you.  It must stink not having anything to play with.  I can't afford to keep giving you things you break.  What are you going to do about it?&amp;quot;  Will work wonders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In school, Now think about this - what happens at work if you don't do your homework?  That should be happening for him.  &amp;quot;Dad, I want to go to the movies.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Sorry Son, People who don't get their work done, don't have the money to have those kinds of treats and you haven't been getting your work done.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;But DAAAaad!?!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;I know it really sucks.  I wish you'd gotten your work done too&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Dad you're an *@*hole!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;You sound angry, if you want to talk about it, I will speak to you when you are ready to use polite language.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him scream and be angry and &lt;strong&gt;completely ignore it&lt;/strong&gt;.  If you get upset - he is in control of the situation and being rewarded for his bad choices and behavior (albeit in a strange way, but it works for him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find ways to have some fun together on his terms - when he is being polite and in control of himself.  When he has an accomplishment, go out for a special father/son event of his choosing.  Do these things less for him, and more to remind yourself why you love him and of all his good qualities too - He does have them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some Resources you may find helpful:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20160213153319/http://www.guidancefacilitators.com/odd2.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Solutions to Oppositional Defiance Disorder&lt;/a&gt; - Especially helpful are probably the strategies for avoiding conflict as well as the background as to why this is so important with oppositional kids.  It goes into a lot more depth on this issue than my answer does here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.empoweringparents.com/category-Oppositional-Defiant-Disorder.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Empowering Parents&lt;/a&gt; - This online newsletter has a number of relevant articles with helpful ideas.  This particular link will take you to an article about what &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; to do when your child is angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Oppositional-Defiant-Disorder-ODD/support-group&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Daily Strength&lt;/a&gt; - I don't know that this is the right support group for you, but it is one online support group option for other parents with kids with ODD.  You will also find other disorder questions there because ODD often occurs alongside other disorders such as Tourette's and ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought you might also like a few more examples of &amp;quot;natural consequences.&amp;quot;  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6548/2876&quot;&gt;This link&lt;/a&gt; will take you to another one of my answers regarding a defiant five-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2378" LastEditDate="2021-09-08T14:31:46.193" LastActivityDate="2021-09-08T14:31:46.193" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7355" CreationDate="2013-01-30T18:09:46.547" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7356/420&quot;&gt;Balanced Mama&lt;/a&gt; covered the Oppositional Defiance Disorder aspect pretty thoroughly, but since your son hasn't yet been officially diagnosed, I'd like to talk about the other aspects of your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Peeling stickers, paint, &amp;amp; other decorations off his property, or off the wall in his room (peeling the paint off his room was one we've only recently arrested; he was regularly destroying the paint job in his room).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to admit that this is not something I have direct experience with, but it doesn't sound like much cause for concern to me.  I remember that when I was a kid, I had (what was in retrospect) a pretty nice wardrobe in my room.  I &quot;ruined&quot; it by covering it with my Garbage Pail Kid sticker collection.  Remember: a kid's perspective on what looks good is very different than an adult's.  He may just like the way it looks, or, more likely, finds it interesting/fun to peel that stuff off, and simply gives no thought to the way it will look when he's done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Tearing pages out of books, and tearing other paper things (posters, calendars, etc); these are always his property, I've never seen him destroy someone else's property&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I don't see this as that unusual at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Breaking his own toys -- usually by playing rough; I don't recollect him destroying / breaking toys just because he was curious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This still seems perfectly normal and age-appropriate.  Kids just don't necessarily equate smashing toys into things == broken toys.  My son, who is 28 months old, still prefers to &quot;play cars&quot; by slamming his Hot Wheels into each other repeatedly, sometimes very forcefully.  He breaks most toys that are breakable (the trick is to not give him stuff that breaks easily).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He does not have trouble bonding with people -- eg, he does not avoid physical contact (likes hugs/kisses from parents, sometimes hugs/kisses siblings), and enjoys hanging out with parents / siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He's very curious and talkative; loves to read, play video games, and especially loves cars and other vehicles (tractors, monster trucks, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those are both certainly very positive signs.  More indication to me that perhaps there's not so much to worry about.  The curiosity may also account for some of the other behavior (peeling paint, breaking toys, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He doesn't usually understand humor. He often mistakes playful situations for offensive behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, what kids find funny, and how they perceive humor, is often very different from adults.  Does he attempt humor on his own?  I think that's a better litmus test than finding other people's humor funny.  Even if his jokes are crude, or silly, if he laughs at his own jokes, that would be another positive sign.  If he doesn't make his own jokes, I still wouldn't necessarily worry about it.  I know plenty of adults who have almost no sense of humor, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He has a very high pain threshold; if someone hurts him (eg, rough-housing), he doesn't cry/scream [typically], he just gets angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm still not seeing a problem here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He's always been very defiant about swallowing his food. When he decides he doesn't want to swallow something, he'll keep it in his mouth for hours if you let him.&#xA;  This defiance extends to other things as well; when he makes up his mind that he does not want to do something, he'll just clamp his mouth shut and ignore you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son, who is generally very polite, tractable (within reason for a 2-year-old), and sociable, does exactly the same thing for us (although not for his daycare provider!).  He once woke up from a nap, at which point we found out he still had carrots stuffed in his cheeks from the meal served about 30 minutes before he fell asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if the pediatrician feels that he may have ODD, it is worth following up on.  Just be sure to get the diagnosis from a &lt;strong&gt;specialist&lt;/strong&gt;, and not the pediatrician.  Don't get me wrong; pediatricians know a lot, and are a great early-warning system, but they are still, by nature, largely generalists, and many of them only know the warning signs of behavioral issues, without being SME's (Subject Matter Experts) in the actual disorders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, what seems to be your biggest concern:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He does not form attachments to things. I'll talk about this more below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children at that age tend to be very focused on the moment.  There are, of course, exceptions to that, but the tendency is for them to be most interested in the toys they see, or are prompted to think of for some other, specific reason at that particular time.  The toy they need to play with may be the one that the other kid is playing with, or that is a favorite character from a show he just thought of, even if he's never actually &lt;em&gt;had&lt;/em&gt; that toy before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids have favorite toys, or other objects that they've formed an attachment to, like a security blanket, but not every child does this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not being upset about broken toys being thrown away may simply be that he knows that he can't play with the toy (because its broken), and therefore it just isn't triggering that &quot;I need to play with &lt;strong&gt;that&lt;/strong&gt; toy right &lt;strong&gt;now&lt;/strong&gt;!&quot; response.  This also matches your description of the toys you take away from him for punishment: it may not be a &quot;show&quot; of being very upset; he may be genuinely upset, but simply move on to something else very quickly.  My son does this sometimes when we tell him he can't play with something, although not always.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, most of what you're saying simply doesn't sound that outrageous or unusual to me taken separately.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the next step for you is to follow up with a specialist, and find out what a professional thinks.  The fact that your pediatrician sees signs of ODD is grounds enough to do so.  However, I should point out that &quot;lack of attachment to objects&quot; is &lt;a href=&quot;http://behavenet.com/oppositional-defiant-disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;not part of the DSM IV criteria for ODD&lt;/a&gt;.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't follow up on your pediatrician's recommendation; rather, it means that the behavior may be unrelated, and may not really be an issue at all (hopefully!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-01-30T18:09:46.547" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7358" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7367" CreationDate="2013-01-30T23:34:49.453" Score="8" ViewCount="132388" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 month old daughter has starting something I am trying to understand. While I am holding her, either in a blanket or not, she will start grunting and kicking her legs. Crying usually starts soon after a few minutes of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought this was gas or pooping, but that doesn't seem to be the case, unless she's having trouble passing whatever has got her so unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could this be a hunger cue? Any thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3791" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2013-01-31T17:36:31.320" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T19:13:59.770" Title="Why is my one month old kicking, grunting and eventually crying when I hold her?" Tags="|infant|behavior|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7358" CreationDate="2013-01-31T06:38:39.643" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try different physical positions. If you're cradling her in your arms, try putting her up on your shoulder. Or vice versa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things to try are: football hold -- her chest on your base of your palm and side of head on your fingers; football hold on back; lay her &lt;em&gt;on her back&lt;/em&gt; on something firm/hard like dining room table or desk (be sure to turn her head) or on something super soft like a quarter folded comforter (do not lay face-down on super-soft as it's thought to be a cause of SIDS).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, steady her as needed. football on back pretty much &lt;em&gt;requires&lt;/em&gt; a 2nd hand to steady. The head usually sets well between index and middle finger, with thumb and other 2 fingers around the shoulders... man I forgot how tiny 1mo old kiddos can be. Thanks (=&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try also giving her to dad to lay face down on his chest on the couch. Sometimes the mommy-boobies can be too squishy. &lt;em&gt;My&lt;/em&gt; kids never liked it. I think it's all about the heartbeat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think it's a hunger cue, put the tip of your li'l pinkie finger in her mouth (nail up). If she starts sucking hard, then it's time for chow. Personally, I never had the kicking with hunger, it was always kissy-mouth smacking with head turned to the side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let us know what happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edit: oh... uh... welcome!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T06:38:39.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7355" CreationDate="2013-01-31T08:08:44.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all I'm coming at this from personal experience. I have no refs to cite, just my own experience with myself and my own kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a child of the 70s. Had they been doing it then, I probably would have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. Hard to tell if I'd have been medicated, but looking back on my parochial school years, I see that I had those tendancies. It affected me thru college and my first marriage. With the commodity of home computers helping me organize, I've learned to deal with it and have become a productive member of society. (even tho my first wife may disagree (= )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I first read about Oppositional Defiance Disorder a couple of years ago. Boy would I have been diagnosed with that. One of you pros will have to explain the difference, but I was always one of loud defiance. Looking back on my parochial school years, someone would probably have tried to plop that label on me. My dad (who went to the same school as a kid) was up there on a monthly basis from 1st thru 3rd grade trying to deal with it. I was constantly in the principles office because I just wouldn't 'fall in line'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again... The staff at St. Blabla's Academy / The [City] Church of Christ couldn't understand why I was always so defiant in class with the Sisters. Solution? Public school. Behaviour problems disappeared. At 7 yrs old (I was a bit young in school), clearly, I just didn't want to be molded into something I didn't want to be. &lt;em&gt;(And I won't even begin to talk about my punk years in the 80s.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My personal opinion&lt;/strong&gt; is that Oppositional Defiance Disorder would probably have been something that the King of England would have tried to apply to Hancock and Jefferson. If a person doesn't want to &quot;fall in line&quot; and then they get angry as you continue to try to make them do so, I have a hard time believing that it's a &quot;disorder&quot; as opposed to the individuals personality. Is it irrational stubbornness? Or is it &quot;stop trying to make me what you want me to be!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If everything else seems normal(ish), but he's not adhering to your expectations of what a child should be thinking or feeling, then you might consider that maybe it's not a &quot;problem&quot; (in the classic sense) and that he's just wired a little differently with feelings that he can't quite explain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Logical Thinker?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 9 yr old is very &lt;strong&gt;logical&lt;/strong&gt;. If I take the time to coherently explain &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; something is the way it is, he accepts it and moves on. Very quickly. (&quot;That's true.&quot;) OTOH, my 11 yr old is very &lt;strong&gt;bohemian&lt;/strong&gt;. I can explain the same thing, but she just can't let it go. It hurts her, bothers her and she may be reduced to tears for a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;9 gets something taken away for punishment, he doesn't like it but he deals... and then he does what he needs to do to get it back. If the 11 gets something taken away, she's distraught, can't think, destroyed emotionally, and then by the next day &lt;em&gt;completely forgets&lt;/em&gt; what it was that she needed to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the wiff and I decided that we were going to move all the bedrooms around, one of the factors was that we were going to thin out all the toys to 1 bin per kid. they were 9 (now 11), 7 (now 9) and 5 at the time. The bohemian 9 yo was trying hard to hold it together as we explained how we would let them pick the toys to go to the Salvation Army. The logical 7 &#xA;yo gave the first positive example &quot;I'll keep Bunnie and we'll give away [whatever it was] so some other kid can have fun with it. That's cooool,&quot; he said. And it set the mood for the rest of the conversation. He couldn't have cared less about the stuffed animals that the wiff sewed, or the blankets that grammy gave him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately for us, the logical one was my 4th, so we had prior examples of different personalities. But suddenly, when our 2 yr old sorted M&amp;amp;M's by color and lined them up in as straight of lines as he could manage, we realized we had an ordered mind on our hands. It sounds as if you haven't had such an ephiphany.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, &lt;strong&gt;when it's time to give up certain things, it sounds like he understands why. &lt;em&gt;It makes sense and it's tidy&lt;/em&gt;. It sounds like it's more important to him for things to make sense than it is for them to feel good.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;All my anecdotal crap is just to give you a bit of understanding of my background. It's why I don't necessarily buy-in to the ODD solution or the potentially problematic outlook.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think what I'm hearing here, at the core, is that &lt;strong&gt;he may simply be a markedly different personality from your others, and you haven't quite yet gotten a grasp on who he is going to be and his personality.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;(this may come off as offensive, if it does I apologize.)&lt;/em&gt; At 5, his core personality is just now starting to take effect on him outwardly. That doesn't mean it's bad or wrong, it may just mean that you the parents may have to adjust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IOW, it may not be a problem, per se, just acclimation. You'll just have to watch and go along with him for the ride. I mean let's face it. . . how many kids aren't attached to junk that their grammy gave them? Apparently, at least 2. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now . . . &lt;strong&gt;I'm not saying that you should eschew advice to get testing or to seek professional opinion. Just be prepared that the results may come back as &quot;normal&quot; (so-called) and you'll have a completely unfamiliar personality to deal with.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T08:08:44.387" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5035" CreationDate="2013-01-31T08:17:57.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short Answer: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Yes&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long Answer: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Yes&lt;/strong&gt;, my friend.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Weighing the baby on an hourly (?) basis is a waste of your spirit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know what? Your weight fluctuates on an hourly basis as well. As you eat, poo, drink, &lt;em&gt;even talk or breath&lt;/em&gt;, your weight changes. It's just that 0.4 lb for you doesn't register on a scale that tops out at 450. but it will absolutely register on a scale for babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stop it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh and stop reading the internet (all the time). Lots of horror stories and paradise stories that simply don't apply to the average person. Sometimes I think the internet was just a bad idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T08:17:57.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5690" CreationDate="2013-01-31T08:28:18.220" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children and babies change all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, at about 3 weeks old, a baby will breast feed almost constantly. then at about 5 weeks, they'll sleep for 18-20 hrs a day and eat almost nothing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Opinion: If there's a significant over a period of several days, see your Dr. However, I think if that were to be the case, then you'd see other more prevalent symptoms of something greater long before that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cycles. Growth spurts and plateaus. That's what you're seeing. It's all good. Enjoy the respite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T08:28:18.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7358" CreationDate="2013-01-31T12:21:52.437" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One other thing to try is swaddling.  Both my kids preferred being tightly swaddled at that age; when they could move their legs and arms too much, it pretty much guaranteed cranky time.  And you could also try some baby-wearing (use a Moby or Baby Bjorn or something similar, not a sling; there have been suffocation issues with some of those in the last few years) if the little one seems to prefer movement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T12:21:52.437" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7304" CreationDate="2013-01-31T18:49:00.810" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have twins who are 2.5 years old.  At 18 months consider having the kids take turns with a toy and not play with it at the same time (another form of sharing).  First it's Sam's turn and then it's Alex's.  You can use a timer so after 2 minutes they have to switch toys.  Be very encouraging, thanking them for sharing and playing nicely together.  At this age trading is better than sharing.  If Sam has something Alex wants encourage Alex to offer him a toy in exchange for a turn.  Finally, use the word sharing in your own life.  If another adult passes you the salt during dinner thank him/her for sharing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3802" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T18:49:00.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7358" CreationDate="2013-01-31T18:55:45.917" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It could be gas.  If you put her on her back on the bed and then &quot;bicycle&quot; her legs it can help her tummy feel better.  Also 1 month olds cry a lot.  Might be nothing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3802" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T18:55:45.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7358" CreationDate="2013-01-31T19:52:41.017" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On the back is a &quot;danger&quot; posture for babies; they can't move, can't roll over, so all they can do is cry for Mommy. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At one month, babies start to enter a phase called &quot;PURPLE crying&quot;. They simply cry; there's often no rhyme or reason to it, and no way to soothe them. It's thought to be developmental, by strengthening lungs and torso muscles and also by getting you, the parents, to provide sensual stimulation trying to soothe or distract them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At one month old, your baby starts to learn what &quot;bored&quot; is, and being held by Mommy, no matter how soothing, can be kind of boring.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Karp's Five &quot;S&quot;s got us through this period pretty easily, actually. They are, in the order you should try them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling - Don't just wrap the baby in a blanket; wrap them tightly, pinning their arms at their sides. They won't like this at first, but after they're calmed, keeping them swaddled keeps them feeling like they're safe and sound in Mommy's arms (or womb). Look up swaddling techniques; you can do a &quot;DUDU&quot; swaddle with any receiving blanket about 30-36&quot; on a side, or you can invest in a HALO or SwaddleMe wrap that are as idiot-proof as these things get.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Side-holding - It's amazing how much of an &quot;off-switch&quot; this is. After swaddling them, hold them on their side, with their head in your hand. They can either be facing in or out, your choice. It's nearly magical how quickly it quiets them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Shushing - For a few babies or a few situations, the first two don't work every time. The baby's saying &quot;whaddaya got? You got nothin&quot;. The next step is shushing; lean in close, but not directly in their face, and make a loud, constant &quot;SHHHHHHH&quot;. You won't hurt their ears unless you're blowing air directly into them. A hair dryer (heat off, please, and not pointed at them) or a vacuum cleaner running are easy substitutes. This mimics the white noise he or she heard in the womb (which can be quite loud).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Swinging - This won't calm them down, but it may keep them calm. Once they're swaddled and have stopped crying, when you need to do something, you can put them in their mechanical swing (best.investment.evar) still in their swaddle, on the highest setting (anything less generally doesn't work very well). There are other techniques which I won't try to describe, because doing them correctly requires seeing it, and doing them incorrectly can hurt your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sucking - Pacifiers are your best friend, at least once your baby's mastered breast feeding. Keep one tethered to the swaddling blanket (though make sure that the tether's clipped in such a way that it can't end up wrapped around baby's head or neck). Some people think that if the baby spits the passy, that you should hold it in. Actually the reverse is true; if you pull gently on it, or push it downward, it triggers a reflex to suck harder. If there isn't a pacifier within reach, or you don't want to give them one just yet, you can just give them one of your fingers; typically pressing up with the pad of your fingertip at the roof of their mouth will trigger the sucking reflex. Eventually, you do have to wean them off the passy for psychological and orthodontic reasons, but until then it's baby's mute button.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2013-01-31T19:52:41.017" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7327" CreationDate="2013-02-01T03:45:37.317" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of parenting at this age comes from just making your best call and teaching the child the &quot;way it is&quot; for them.  If you look around the world, kids just learn to adapt to whatever, from the richest mansion to the poorest village -- what they are given is what is normal.  It is your job to choose what is best for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about it.  Sounds like they need to share a room, especially since they aren't earning an extra $40K per year for a bigger house.  LOL.  As for the 3 year old bothering the little one, this is another thing that kids just need to learn.  In my experience, the little ones know how to cry, and will do so in quite a hurry if bothered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually have 3-4 little ones sharing a room right now, and trying really hard to get our house built so we can alieviate that a bit.  But it is all we have, so that is what they live with (and they don't mind -- triple-stack bunk beds are cool stuff)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a nutshell, I think the following 4 steps represent (approximately) Ages 0-5, 5-10, 10-15, 15-N&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach them to listen, show them the framework for their world&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Teach them to follow instruction &lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Control&quot; is not theirs at this stage, other than learning to control their own actions&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Show them why, teach them how.  Let them decide small things as per their age.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Still guide, but with a lot more of the understanding built in.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;7 year olds STILL need told to eat vegetables instead of ice-cream sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let them make many/most of their own decisions, be there to help&lt;br&gt;&#xA;But still be the parent when needed&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Your oversight is important for a lot of choices like friends, school, parties, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you did it right, hopefully, they will come to you instead of running from you as they grow older.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You will forever be a friend for them to come to for advice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3291" LastActivityDate="2013-02-01T03:45:37.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7369" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-01T07:43:59.420" Score="3" ViewCount="186" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there any studies showing how the reactions of a children (ages 2-4) are to new environments right after their parents separation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How soon would it be &quot;too soon&quot; for the introduction of a new stable environment that includes another parental figure? Time, stability and love are key points on the adaptation process, I am aware of that. But would it be prejudicial to include a different, stable relation to that process?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1687" LastEditorUserId="1687" LastEditDate="2013-02-01T07:57:54.523" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T04:30:39.943" Title="Is it prejudicial to introduce a child to a new environment soon after a separation?" Tags="|development|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7369" CreationDate="2013-02-01T12:00:03.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can say that a child needs attention to get him stabilized before giving him a completely new environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume that the child spends most of his time with parents who shower him with eternal love. After the separation I don't think it is easy to change to a new environment while dealing with seeing a parent far less often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a 2-4 year child, he doesn't know what is happening around him. It is better to introduce your new environment in a way that makes it fun.  Also, don't do it all at once; do it stage by stage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take time to introduce your new partner to your child. Let your new partner interact with your child and fill the gap which is left by the other parent's absence. Once the new partner establishes credibility and attains the love of your child he will force you to do what your are expecting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3807" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-02-01T15:17:10.920" LastActivityDate="2013-02-01T15:17:10.920" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7371" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7417" CreationDate="2013-02-01T19:49:10.803" Score="8" ViewCount="11758" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm suffering from &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinnitus&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;tinnitus.&lt;/a&gt; In my case, this is a constant, high-pitched whine. The volume is insignificant when I'm relaxed in quiet surroundings, but stress and loud noise can instantly increase the volume to an intolerable level. It's a torture one can't escape from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can probably imagine that holding a crying infant in my arms (to get him to sleep) isn't helpful for my ears. I have begun to use foam-rubber ear plugs at home but they aren't very comfortable. High-quality wax ear plugs are &lt;em&gt;exceedingly&lt;/em&gt; efficient; they make me practically deaf which isn't helpful either, in this situation (but very good with power tools).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/s9Tru.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/wS2K2.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to hear &lt;strong&gt;suggestions or experiences about what works in this situation&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;mdash;besides handing the baby over to my wife. My goal is to reduce or remove the higher frequencies but not completely disable my hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-02-02T07:42:45.430" LastActivityDate="2020-04-06T00:31:13.543" Title="How can I protect my ears when the baby cries?" Tags="|crying|parents|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7358" CreationDate="2013-02-01T20:47:46.280" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found that babies are more sensitive to certain stimulus than adults.  We discovered that our newborn screams when someone holds her with bad breath, someone is wearing strong perfume or scented lotion, if there is a scented candle burning in the area, etc.  So continue to think about anything on you or in your environment the baby may be sensing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at 1 month old she would freak out in any position but held facing out so she could see.  Walking around was also critical.  Keep trying out different positions to find something unique to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3808" LastEditorUserId="3808" LastEditDate="2013-02-01T22:32:40.533" LastActivityDate="2013-02-01T22:32:40.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7371" CreationDate="2013-02-01T21:29:20.920" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can try holding the baby with his head not so close to your ear.  My sensitive ears are one reason I don't like the over-the-shoulder position that's so popular.  Try experimenting with some positions more on your lap.  A couple of feet can make the difference between pain and mere discomfort for me.  My favorite position is with the baby prone across my lap with his cheek resting on my forearm.  People say it looks funny, but it's very comfortable for both of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's not sufficient, you might want to try the ear muff style of hearing protection.  That's what I use for shooting, and for me at least, they are much more comfortable than the in-ear kind, not to mention faster to put on.  You can get &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B001E8PPM0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;electronic versions&lt;/a&gt; that have a built-in microphone that plays normal sound levels through headphones but suppresses loud noises.  These are very comfortable because you don't have to strain to hear normal conversation, but you still get protection from painfully loud noises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-02-01T21:29:20.920" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7371" CreationDate="2013-02-03T07:43:57.787" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've used earplugs from the local pharmacy, a model that has three rubber membranes. Better than foam ones. I use the same when rehearsing with my band &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, i mainly used them in one ear (the bad I've), and kept my daughter on that side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It gets better as they get older, both because they cry less and because you will get more sleep and rest. I've found that my tinnitus is very stress related and the first 18-20 months as a parent ARE crazy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's almost 2 years now, and it's only occasionally that she screams near my ears do they hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="850" LastActivityDate="2013-02-03T07:43:57.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7378" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-03T15:43:05.410" Score="1" ViewCount="222" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wanted to know what exactly asthma is? What are some of the triggers that could bring on the symptoms for my child?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3816" LastActivityDate="2024-01-22T20:45:17.290" Title="What if my child has asthma?" Tags="|health|asthma|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7378" CreationDate="2013-02-03T15:52:52.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For your question about asthma and what triggers asthma attacks I was able to do some initial research and discovered some reliable sources that might help you learn more about this particular disease. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the Environmental Protection Agency &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.epa.gov/asthma/about.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.epa.gov/asthma/about.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“Asthma is a serious, sometimes life-threatening chronic respiratory disease that affects the quality of life for almost 25 million Americans, including an estimated 7 million children. Although there is no cure for asthma yet, asthma can be controlled through medical treatment and management of environmental triggers. ”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Lung Association &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lung.ca/diseases-maladies/asthma-asthme/what-quoi/index_e.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.lung.ca/diseases-maladies/asthma-asthme/what-quoi/index_e.php&lt;/a&gt; describes asthma as &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“a chronic (long-term) disease that makes it hard to breathe. Asthma can't be cured, but it can be managed. With proper treatment, people with asthma can lead normal, active lives.”&#xA;Triggers are also described on the Environmental Protection Agencies website as “things that can cause asthma symptoms, an episode or attack or make asthma worse. If you have asthma, you or your child could react to just one trigger or you may find that several things act as triggers.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As described by the website &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.noattacks.org/triggers-in-your-home&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.noattacks.org/triggers-in-your-home&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Triggers can include:&#xA;Mold, dust mites, smoke, cats, dogs, chemical irritants, air pollution, and exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found these websites by typing the phrase “internet public library” into Google. Known as Ipl2 it is one of the best free reference web sites.  Once on their homepage &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ipl.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ipl.org/&lt;/a&gt; I typed in “asthma and triggers” and reviewed the various credible websites.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that these articles can help you. If you need more help, in finding other sources on asthma or irritants that can trigger asthma please feel free to respond again so that I can assist you in finding more materials. Your local doctor can also provide you with information on asthma and help discover what specifically triggers your child’s asthma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3817" LastEditorUserId="3817" LastEditDate="2013-02-04T02:34:29.460" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T02:34:29.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7277" CreationDate="2013-02-04T00:23:14.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience subtlety has never been as effective as a &lt;a href=&quot;http://management.about.com/cs/peoplemanagement/ht/negativefb.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;good old telling off&lt;/a&gt;. In this situation, you may be able to take dad by himself out somewhere quiet where you can give him a &quot;word or two&quot;. When discussing a persons behavior divorced from &quot;who they are&quot; in this way, you are able to avoid pulling your punches and get across to them the long term consequences of their actions. I have had the opportunity to be at the receiving end of a couple of these during my life and generally it has improved my me :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T00:23:14.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7381" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-04T00:37:35.043" Score="3" ViewCount="1500" Body="&lt;p&gt;my 4 yr old son absolutely hates to poop in the toilet. He will pee no problem on his own, but he fights to avoid pooping even to the point of claiming it hurts to poop in the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we ask him what hurts he comes up with many different excuses such as it hurts his pee pee all the way to begging for another chance and he acts as though the toilet is a punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a single 22 yr old mother going through this daily and still having to clean the poopy underwear each night, the only thing hurting in the end is my head, and my nerves are shot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help him learn to poop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3818" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-02-04T11:43:37.480" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T13:06:57.533" Title="potty training my 4 year old whom refuses to even make an attempt?" Tags="|pre-schooler|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7381" CreationDate="2013-02-04T01:48:35.257" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no easy answer or magical tricks that older/experienced parents are withholding from you. Its more of setting a positive and respectful environment for the trainee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several months ago my 2.5 yr old was home for 5 wks with out daycare so I jumped on the chance for some toilet training. Having messed up a bit on her older brother a few years before I equip myself with &quot;Diaper-Free Before 3: The Healthier Way to Toilet Train and Help Your Child Out of Diapers Sooner&quot; - awesome book that most of my toilet training specific opinions are based and very worth purchasing. Here a few things that can help set the stage for success:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Verify that his stool is soft and he isnt battling constipation too. Set up a routine and be consistent. With regular activities and regular meal times, more than likely your son will have a regular BMs. Have bm chart or whatever is needed for you to to know when he needs to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going to the bathroom is a normal part of life - Just like drinking water. Stop all crazy incentives and when its time or when you see the cues, tell him its time rather than ask him if he wants to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though my daughter could use the big toilet she much rather enjoyed the little own that was a feat of climbing and that her feet could be firmly on the floor. Its not nice to clean out, but imagine yourself going a toilet that was big enough for you to fall into and that was as high as your tummy and you couldnt touch the floor. Also, you can model for him since each of you have your own toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My older child had troubles defecating setting down. He had to start by sitting on the toilet, in his diaper, at anticipated times so he could get use to the position. Being physically comfortable is going to be very important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Little kids have control over so little of their life. Something like defecating &#xA;or eating a certain food can be something the a child has realized he has control of. Its in the context of the control that you need to get rid of the incentive programs, but also any negativity or punishment associated with going to the bathroom (including genuine disappointment from having to clean up an accident, shield your son from those emotions). Every kids seems to want to be &quot;big&quot; - just let using toilet be a something big kids do, something that mom does as a regular part of like. Get rid of all the angst and specialness and the whole big deal factor and your son may give up some of that control and move on to other things, like what pjs to wear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get your son in on it. Cant have a positive experience with out his co-operation. For example, my daughter and I pitched her remaining diapers together. We both were committed. I kept some night time pull ups and for the first few weeks she preferred wearing them at night. After a while, she wanted to wear undies, so the choice was hers, use the toilet before bed time or wear a pull up. She was invested in the training, not just me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the above attitudes jive with your parenting style, go buy that book and you will get more detailed explains of why each matters along with a brief history of life be fore disposable diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and find the needed patience somewhere. Dont worry too much either (doesn't help you and your son will soak it up), the situation really is an individual experiences and is not going to be exactly the same as others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3819" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T01:48:35.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7383" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7389" CreationDate="2013-02-04T04:07:50.757" Score="5" ViewCount="2779" Body="&lt;p&gt;My spouse gets very upset when I use the common kitchen dish-cloth to wipe my baby's hands and face after his feedings!!! The dish cloth is used to clean dishes in soapy water and wipe counter tops to clean up after cooking meals. The dish cloth is always rinsed with soapy water during most of its daily usage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My spouse insists that I use a fresh or separate dedicated baby cloth to wipe my child's hands and face because she thinks the &quot;general purpose dish cloth is dirty germ factory&quot; and risks exposing my child to germs and unsafe/unpredictable risks to his health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I for one think the obsession of &quot;germ free&quot; and &quot;anti-bactirail&quot; does more harm then good in the longer term.. and I for one have been wiping my face and mouth after a meal with the &quot;Kitchen Dish Rag&quot; since I can rememebr doing it on my own.. maybe since the age of 4 or 5.. so I am thinking that what's the harm with using the dish cloth with a 6 month old and later??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2273" LastEditorUserId="2273" LastEditDate="2013-02-04T17:32:53.860" LastActivityDate="2019-09-22T13:33:47.290" Title="Using the sink dish cloth to wipe infants face and hands after feeding" Tags="|health|hygiene|cleaning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2013-02-04T04:18:24.350" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I attended a group parenting intervention class (14 weeks) thought by the local university to that I could learn how to better help child with Autism. The class was amazing! It the knowledge and experience of such an intervention can not be communicated in a Q&amp;amp;A site. Your daughters needs are so much more complex and often subtle that there will not be a quick answer that stackexcange was designed for.... so I am pretty much recommending a certain book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That class I took was not about how to help child not be &quot;wrong&quot; but about helping parents do better. The curriculum was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.incredibleyears.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.incredibleyears.com/&lt;/a&gt;  and the text can be purchased off of Amazon for less than $5. It was go good I have purchased over a dozen copies for a few friends an my siblings with children - &quot;Incredible Years: A Troubleshooting Guide for Parents of Children&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Far too much good info to repeat, but the use of &quot;no&quot; is negative enforcement and a lot of children to not respond as well to it as to other tools such as redirection. I grew up in the rural Rocky Mnt region with 7 siblings in a very traditional household. I dont want to sound like some new aged quack claiming kids dont need structure.. that not the case. BUT the strategies and lessons in the Incredible years changed both my life and my sons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3819" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T04:18:24.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7369" CreationDate="2013-02-04T04:30:39.943" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Im a single parent of youngsters. Each is quite different and has different needs concerning custody stuff and promoting/maintaining their relationship with their mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your dilemma warrants the help of a expert that can give specific feedback about your specific and unique child. The correct answer is not a quick one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was awarded custody of my son when he was almost five. With in months he was developing a relationship with a psychologist that help him and also helped me. The neat thing is that years later we see see the same doc (when need), he has the expertise, but also the relationship and knowledge about my boy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is completely different, how she problems solve and her needs. The stuff I learned for my son does not directly translate to the daughter. What worked in my family isn't necessarily what will work for yours, but having gone through the separation bit with young kids, I strongly recommend that you chase down some parenting intervention for a quality mental health professional with child development expertise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3819" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T04:30:39.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7386" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-04T06:10:07.977" Score="2" ViewCount="10840" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, I am not sure if I should be getting too worried or worked up about my boy of 8years, but some of the behavioral characteristics seem a bit worrying. Asking the question to see if I should really be worried, or can do something, s.a. make changes around the house to bring about behavioral changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kid is afraid of being left alone in a room, in broad day-light, doesn't go to the toilet alone. He gets really scared listening to &quot;ghost stories&quot; that many boys his age share amongst friends. We as parents, have never threatened him of the dark, or locking him alone in the room. In fact, we are (probably worryingly so), the &quot;always around&quot; kind of parents.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kid is pretty laid back and has a very non-competitive attitude towards everything. Not that he doesn't enjoy the adulation on winning a competition, but seems to give-up far too soon, and far too-easily and uses the &quot;it's okay not to win&quot;, excuse far too often. To an extent, it has to do with his school which is a blend of Waldorf + Montessorie style. However other kids in his class are quite competitive.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kid seems very inattentive, often goes into &quot;deep think&quot; mode, where he seems to cut-off from his surroundings, even while making a sketch. This happens so frequently, that we need to tell him repeatedly to do simple things like brush his teeth, change his clothes, keep soiled clothes in the laundry basket, eat his food, drink his milk... i.e. every tiny thing needs to be repeated 10-12 times in &quot;instruction mode&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other wise, he is a happy kid, in what I believe is an typical family. The kid has a 8mo old sister, but there haven't been any stark behavioral changes since the arrival of the baby. Kid loves his sister, plays a lot with her, seems quite caring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3822" LastActivityDate="2018-07-31T20:53:57.403" Title="8yr old boy - afraid of too many things, too laid-back, lacks zeal to compete" Tags="|fears|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2018-08-03T19:02:57.977" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7388" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7381" CreationDate="2013-02-04T08:34:02.610" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many possibilities why your child has the response to the toilet. Something about sitting on it scares the child, or at least makes the child feel uncomfortable. If you think about what images or stories the child may have seen or heard you may figure out the source (if there is one). We found that having age-appropriate books about other toddlers who are getting used to the potty helped. Having such a book read to the child, as well as seeing the pictures of another kid actually sitting on a toilet &lt;em&gt;without stress&lt;/em&gt; helped ours tackle it themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A long shot here, without knowing your circumstances, nor intending any judgement at all, I noticed you wrote you clean the poopy underwear every night. It might be possible there is something about this which makes it a &lt;em&gt;routine&lt;/em&gt; that the child finds comforting in an unexpected way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3824" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T08:34:02.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7383" CreationDate="2013-02-04T08:47:27.650" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers eat dirt and survive, sure. But &lt;strong&gt;infants haven't built up a solid immune system&lt;/strong&gt; to deal with random dirt, so avoiding &lt;em&gt;unnecessary&lt;/em&gt; exposure would be wise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry but I would agree with your wife. The problem is that a kitchen cloth is actually often not very clean because it's often not rinsed well between uses and isn't replaced often enough. Soapy water doesn't sanitize it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If&lt;/strong&gt; the rag is replaced with a clean one at least daily, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; it's cleaned after use (washed, wrung, and dried; no foodstuff or liquids remaining), &lt;strong&gt;then&lt;/strong&gt; the &quot;dirty risk&quot; is fairly low -- on the level that I'd use it myself in a pinch. But as I started saying, I would avoid using it on babies. It's such a small effort to use baby's own cloth, or a paper towel or wet napkin; why would you want to risk an illness just for that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, a sink cloth can be quickly sanitized by moistening it and then putting it in the microwave for 1-2 minutes. &lt;em&gt;Careful: it will be clean but HOT afterward.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-02-04T15:10:44.773" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T15:10:44.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7390" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-04T10:00:12.263" Score="3" ViewCount="785" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have twins aged 14 months. Recently my wife observed that one of them while sitting on her lap was having a kind of seizure / facial spasm (I'm not sure how to explain it): His mouth was open for a while, kind of frozen with no other activity. Has both hands applied some strength.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We checked with doctor. He told us to try and take a video next time this happens. This again happened twice after this, first after a gap of maybe about a month and second after 1-2 weeks. But we were not able to record this as we were not prepared. We spoke to Doctor again who asked:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Was biting his teeth? - No&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Was he conscious? - Yes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He told us this might be a behavioral disorder and may be an attention grabbing technique. Another possibility was Calcium deficiency which he was not suspecting. Basically he asked us not to worry but to record it next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am yet to see this myself but yesterday while he was playing with Lego blocks, while trying to connect two blocks I observed that he was putting some effort. His hands were close to his chest and he was trembling a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any idea what this might be? This may be a bit dumb question, but how can I be prepared to record this if it happens again? There is a camera kept at the room where they spent most of the time. All knows how to record it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3625" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-30T12:16:37.273" LastActivityDate="2019-05-30T18:46:10.603" Title="My toddler has a kind of facial spasm/seizure - how to find out more about it?" Tags="|toddler|health|twins|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7381" CreationDate="2013-02-04T13:06:57.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just a teensy addition of anecdata, but we went through something similiar with our daughter.  Turns out she was both scared of pain (reading the books It Hurts When I Poop and Everyone Poops made a huge difference) and that not knowing what happens once the toilet is flushed scared her.  We're in rural US on a septic system, so when we told her that her poop goes to play under the yard with Mommy and Daddy's poops, she was cool with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him.  See if you can figure out what his mental roadblock is, and then you guys can find a way past it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T13:06:57.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7386" CreationDate="2013-02-04T15:00:03.100" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know that I would be overly concerned about points 2 and 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Point 2:  Some kids are just laid back and competition doesn't necessarily spur them on.  Encourage him to keep trying things that are difficult and make a big deal out of his successes when he completes something that you know was hard for him.  If he fails at something, help him brainstorm ways that he can do better next time so that the failure becomes a learning experience.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Point 3:  I have always been the type of person who can easily get lost in my head or get caught-up in reading a book.  When I was a kid I would frequently become so absorbed in what I was doing that a parent or teacher would have to repeat themselves to get my attention.  I more or less grew out of it, but having the ability to tune the world out and focus single-mindedly on a task has come in handy as an adult.  Would making a list of things he needs to complete help him focus and stay on task better?  Or encourage him to write down what he's thinking about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only point that seems a little disconcerting is how fearful he is.  I don't think being afraid of ghost stories or scary movies is out of line, but an 8-year-old should be able to use the bathroom alone and be left in a room alone.  This seems a little like an attachment issue to me--in that he seems like he has a little attachment anxiety like you'd see in a small child.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childmind.org/en/health/disorder-guide/separation-anxiety-disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; website has some information about this type of anxiety which can manifest itself in older children, and since you've only listed a couple of examples (and I'm not a doctor) it obviously can't be diagnosed here.  But it might bear some looking in to independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T15:00:03.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7393" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7398" CreationDate="2013-02-04T15:28:37.550" Score="97" ViewCount="10705" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've started playing some simple games with my 2-year-old son, including a simple age-appropriate matching game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He enjoys playing, but seems (to me, at least) more focused on &lt;em&gt;playing&lt;/em&gt; over &lt;em&gt;winning&lt;/em&gt;.  I think that's perfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I noticed last night that he &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; wins.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It turns out that my wife has literally been stacking the deck in his favor.  When the game gets towards the end, she starts looking at the tiles, and checking to see if the next one dealt (she's the dealer) would be the winning card.  If it would end the game with either her or I winning, she sets it aside and picks the next one.  In at least one game she apparently deliberately put all of the tiles that matched her card at the very bottom so they wouldn't get drawn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I asked her about it, she said she thought he should win, and that winning would be more fun for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting aside the implications of lessons about cheating (let's assume that it was subtle enough, and that my son was distracted enough, that he had no clue that the deck was being manipulated), is there any problem with ensuring that he wins each time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern, which I expressed to my wife, is that I want him to enjoy playing games for the sake of playing, and not for the sake of winning.  I don't want him to expect to win each time, and then become disappointed when he doesn't.  Is this a legitimate concern at his age, or is he simply too young to focus on the competitive side of games, and letting him win is nothing more than a harmless incentive to enjoy playing at this age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it isn't a problem at this age, when &lt;strong&gt;does&lt;/strong&gt; it become a problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2023-08-28T14:25:53.107" Title="Should you let a toddler win?" Tags="|toddler|games|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7390" CreationDate="2013-02-04T15:45:03.113" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would try to get seen by a neurologist.  My daughter has seizures and a lot of people, even relatively trained people like special ed teachers or school nurses, don't realize that's what they are.  Seizures are basically the brain misfiring, so there isn't a consistent way they manifest.  Sometimes she gets the full shaking, but often she just spaces out with her mouth frozen open, sort of like you describe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An EEG can sometimes record seizure activity even when there are no outwardly visible signs.  I wouldn't trust any doctor who ruled out seizures without running an EEG, assuming they are readily available where you are located.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T15:45:03.113" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-04T15:59:38.287" Score="38" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just anecdata:  we did this with our daughter (now 4.5), mostly because playing games about math was fun for all.  We thought it would make it more fun for her, and get her more involved, if she won.  Now we're reaping the whirlwind; she pouts and refuses to play games when she loses.  So now we're having to undo the damage we did, and teach her that playing is important, not winning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our son is older (he's just now pushing 2), I'll hopefully know if it WAS the 'let her always win' strategy that backfired on us, or if it's just because she is who she is.  Then again, I may not ever know.  But my gut tells me that letting her win all the time set an expectation that she's SUPPOSED to win, and that if she doesn't win something went wrong and we, as the parent, have to fix it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T15:59:38.287" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-04T16:33:07.453" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is a great question.  My oldest is 4 (5 this week, actually) and he's gotten to the point where winning is important to him.  So we're having to deal with this situation now where he's learning to lose gracefully.  It's a process.  I've never intentionally let him win at games or anything, although my husband will sometimes &quot;race&quot; him up the stairs and let him win (this is more of a ploy to get him in to bed than a game per se).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At age 2, he's probably not concerned with the competitiveness of playing games or sports.  He probably doesn't really care who wins.  To find out if he does, why not let him lose and see how he responds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if he doesn't seem to care now, there will probably come a point where he will.  I think we started seeing it in our son around age 4.  I think one of my sisters-in-law saw it in her boys a little earlier (3 1/2 maybe?), but they sort of breed an air of competitiveness in their house.  But it's only been in the past year or so that my son has started using phrases like, &quot;I won&quot; or &quot;You lost&quot;.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T16:33:07.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6923" CreationDate="2013-02-04T16:56:07.550" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is awesome actually! It's amassing how your son is developed in his age. And it's absolutely ok that he can't sit still. Can you imagine sitting still when it's so interesting around?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'd suggest you: find him something interesting to learn. I don't know, maybe logics, math, some other stuff... You need to find a challenge for him so your son can concentrate on overcoming the obstacles and reaching the goal instead of doing something that is not acceptable in this society. I remember that my mom made a lot of logic puzzles for me when I was small. But nowadays you should be able to find some interesting things in bookstores.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's always easier to blame someone else because he is not like the other ones, but please, take some time to make your son even better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest - it's always an issue if your'e better then the others. Steve Jobs was considered a bad pupil as he was doing some pranks, just because he knew way more than a school level and so was bored…&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3783" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T16:56:07.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-04T17:01:32.537" Score="112" Body="&lt;p&gt;What makes a children's game a children's game is the element of chance generally greatly outweighing the element of strategy.  In other words, it doesn't take much for a child to win legitimately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently had the exact opposite experience as yours with my five year-old son.  He got a new game for Christmas where you flip over two cards to find a match.  I made a conscious decision not to let him win, and he didn't for the first 10 times or so we played.  When he finally &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; win, he was ecstatic because he knew I didn't just hand it to him.  Now he wins every third game or so, and he is learning both to win and lose graciously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he gets old enough for games requiring more strategy, I still won't &lt;em&gt;let&lt;/em&gt; him win, but I'll give myself a handicap to even the odds.  For example, when he learns chess I'll start out playing without a queen, but still do my best to win.  That way winning is a real accomplishment for either of us, and seeing my handicap reduce over time will be a real long term accomplishment for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also the matter of the game needing to be fun for the adult in order for him to remain interested enough to continue playing.  When the deck is stacked against you, it ceases to be fun.  For example, when I play games with them, my stepdad frequently sacrifices his own position to help my mom win.  I don't know if she doesn't notice, or just doesn't care, but it certainly takes the fun out of it for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just read an interesting &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/308555/1/?single_page=true&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt; on the subject.  It basically states that trying to always keep your kid happy often results in them becoming unhappy adults, because they are not equipped to deal with disappointment.  It's a long article, but well worth the read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T17:01:32.537" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-04T17:20:30.527" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't advocate just &lt;em&gt;letting&lt;/em&gt; your child win.  However, it is entirely appropriate to adjust  your level of play according to the age and abilities of the child.  When playing sports against my kids, I don't let them win, but I don't go all out against them like I would against other adults my age as that wouldn't really be fun for either of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T17:20:30.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-04T17:51:09.557" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I tend to try to balance it both ways.  I have no problem with letting my kids win as long as it's not all the time.  I feel like it's good for them to experience both winning and losing as it lets them realize that while they may not always win, sometimes they will and they can try hard to reach that and succeed.  Whether this is the best way or not I'm not sure, I have a four year-old boy and an almost three year-old girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose my approach is based on my own experience.  I remember adults letting me win - it wasn't like I didn't realize it when it was something like a footrace, but I still liked it.  Who knows, maybe it made me expect to be handed success?  I also remember playing with adults where I could never win, and that was just no fun.  Hence I try to land somewhere in the middle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1799" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T17:51:09.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-04T19:36:15.290" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;This raises the deeper question of: to what extent to you fabricate a phony reality for small children and until what age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there isn't a need to protect the child from anything in the given situation, it's probably better to stick to reality. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That a game can be lost is not some &quot;harsh dose of reality&quot; that must be revealed gradually, because the child's &quot;little mind&quot; cannot deal with it &quot;all at once&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games in fact &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; the gentle way for revealing the reality that important things in life don't always work out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the game is rigged, part of the purpose of the game is lost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3693" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T19:36:15.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-04T20:34:26.907" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;We play simple card games (like &lt;em&gt;Uno&lt;/em&gt; for kids) with our 3yo, and we let the cards decide without cheating. Sometimes I win, sometimes he wins. I cheer for him when he wins (but I don't praise, that's something else). I cheer for me when I win. Regardless who wins, the victory is briefly celebrated as the end of a fun game, and then we move on: play another round, or choose another game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We let him learn to appreciate playing a game regardless of the outcome; let him learn that &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;playing the game&lt;/em&gt; is the fun part&lt;/strong&gt; while &lt;em&gt;winning the game&lt;/em&gt; is not always important. We hope that this avoids him &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4108/how-do-i-explain-good-sportsmanship-to-a-4-year-old&quot;&gt;becoming a sore loser&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because he's still too young for a discussion, you might want to show him by example that it's sometimes worth &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6231/109&quot;&gt;agreeing on the purpose of a game before you begin&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T20:34:26.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7386" CreationDate="2013-02-04T22:01:09.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's really not enough info here to say anything for certain, other than vague &quot;anxiety disorder&quot; type of things (assuming here that it is a &quot;disorder&quot;), but a couple things come to my mind from what you do have here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;His own personality + what could be described as &quot;hoverparenting&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;Helicopter parenting&quot; is a term often used to describe parents who are always doing things for their kids, instead of letting kids work things out for themselves. This can lead to kids being overly dependent on their parents for things that they should be capable of doing for their age (in your son's case, being in a room by himself), depending in part on the child's own personality (a naturally independent child is more likely to be capable, regardless, but a laid-back or conflict-avoidant child may develop co-dependence issues). While hoverparenting is caused by the parents' behavior, it's generally borne out of love and a desire to not see the child hurt or suffer. These are noble desires, but conflict and suffering are a part of life, and learning to deal with them start in early childhood. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find yourself doing things for your child that he should be able to do (resolving conflict with a peer, doing various chores, etc), take a step back and start teaching him how to do it, even if it takes longer and is more frustrating in the short term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Autism Spectrum Disorder&lt;/strong&gt; Again, without any more information, it's hard to say for sure, but several of the behaviors you've mentioned here point to the possibility of an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I'll explain why in a minute, but please note that Autism isn't just the stereotypical rocking in a corner and screaming at every touch, nor does it need to be an anchor on the rest of his life. Just because he's verbal, highly intelligent, or otherwise &quot;normal,&quot; it doesn't necessarily rule it out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Anxiety in general is a pretty prominent part of ASD, for a number of reasons. Have you ever asked him why he's afraid of being alone? This might help you understand why he's afraid. (If you notice what seems to be an abnormal amount of anxiety over a new or social situation, this may also indicate ASD.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Additionally, literalism is another prominent part. It's possible he has a hard time comprehending that the ghost stories aren't real, and thus, is afraid to be alone, or in a specific place that he heard a story about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Being non-competitive isn't so much an ASD thing (though some tend to rationalize negative things), but it is possible that he's just not &lt;em&gt;showing&lt;/em&gt; his feelings on the matter. Have you asked him how he felt about winning a specific game (after having won it)? Or, have you noticed a lack of expressed emotion in other aspects (not counting the rage you mention in a comment, I'll get to that one)? Have you asked why he's giving up?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is he doing when in one of these &quot;deep think&quot; spells? Is it nearly always the same thing, such as drawing, or while on the computer? Also, do these spells frequently occur, say, after school or other social event? For people with ASD, these are often known as the person's &quot;special interest.&quot; It's how they &quot;recharge&quot; or relieve stress, how they unwind. It can also consume all their time, maybe even requiring someone to intervene to get them to do things like eat or brush their teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You mention in a comment that he gets extremely upset, even enraged, when embarrassed or reprimanded in public. Does this happen in private, too, or over things that you find minuscule and not worth getting &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; upset about? Do these outbursts seem disproportionate to the trigger? Have you been told by others that he's &quot;making a scene&quot;? Is there a pattern to when these outbursts are the worst (ie - toward the middle or end of a shopping trip, rather than at the beginning)? Also, what's the behavior that caused him to be reprimanded to begin with, and when does it usually occur?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also, you mention that he loves playing with his sibling and seems quite caring with her. How about his peers? Does he have a lot of friends? How does he interact with them? Does he seem more aloof around his peers, or otherwise a loner? Social issues (particularly non-scripted social interactions) are a highlight of ASD, even at the highest levels. Kids on the spectrum tend to get along better with adults (because they have more patience for the child) and infants (because they're more simple beings and easier to understand).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I'm not saying that he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; on the spectrum, but what you've described here does point to it enough that I think it's worth looking into more, especially if you combine this information with what you have that you haven't told us. If nothing else, it's obvious he has some kind of issues with anxiety (separation or otherwise), given your point #1. In any case, it's probably a good idea to mention his behaviors to his doctor and even consider seeing a specialist, so that you can get him whatever help he needs to be able to handle his fears and anxiety. If nothing else, it will rule out disorders, and you can work on adjusting your parenting style to help him be more confident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2013-02-04T22:01:09.230" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7378" CreationDate="2013-02-05T00:54:52.983" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had childhood asthma.  For me physical activity - lots or running etc. - triggered attacks.  But I was able to use an inhaler and be able to breath again quickly.  I just had to be careful how much running around I did in school at recess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The upside of childhood asthma is many kids outgrow it.  By the time I was in grade 5 or 6 I had no more problems and could run all I wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asthma causes difficulty breathing.  It can feel like having a panic attack.  Modern medicine works wonders however.  I had two inhalers.  One is fast acting for when I was having an attack.  The other is used a few times a day to help prevent them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things that can cause problems are alergens like dust or pets, and cold and flu (the asthma makes the repratory problems worse)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3021" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T00:54:52.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-05T02:03:59.010" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7398/2876&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; and voted for it but wanted to offer up a few More ideas on the matter along the same lines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he is two, if he does have an evening where he is just having a frustratingly unlucky night, occasionally stacking the deck to help regain the fun, won't hurt him any.  Doing it all the time does set him up with unrealistic expectations and robs him of the chance to lose and lose well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As my own daughter has developed to the point where she is playing games involving more strategy, before &quot;handicapping&quot; myself, we will often play a few &quot;learning rounds.&quot;  In these situations if I see a better move she is about to over-look, I'll say, &quot;Are you sure that is the move you want to make?&quot;  If she says yes and goes for it, I let her fail and lose.  If, on the other hand, she takes another look and wants feedback about what to move, I give her honest feedback (to my detriment) while playing.  With something like Chess, I might point out three options and the merits or downfalls of each of the three when considering the next three likely series of moves.  Then, I let her choose.  We'll also play as &quot;teams&quot; for awhile with card games and things like that where she might play me or her dad (or another family member) with a &quot;teammate&quot; she can go to with questions or that might offer her &quot;suggestions&quot; as we play.  It is a good &quot;in-between&quot; as they grow.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This kind of thing can even apply to something like &quot;go-fish&quot; because there is a bit of strategy in what you ask for.  For example, &quot;Are you sure you want to ask mommy for the zebra again?  You've asked her three times and you haven't asked if I have it.&quot;  This is helping, without helping him &quot;cheat.&quot; because through this kind of helping he is getting pointers about how to play in a way that increases his liklihood of winning now and in future games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-02-12T04:59:27.080" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-05T02:54:23.107" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I expect that at this age your son doesn't really care about winning... and this is exactly the reason why it's a good moment to introduce losing! It could save him (and you) a lot of anguish later when he begins to care, because you (or his friends) will have to introduce losing at some point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T02:54:23.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7378" CreationDate="2013-02-05T09:59:12.587" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had childhood asthma until I was about 15 - any major exertion could bring on an attack, but with inhalers I managed to control it very well, to the point that the only times I ever had an attack were when cross-country running in sub-zero temperatures (cold air makes it a lot harder to breathe)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mine was linked to childhood hayfever - and I just grew out of them. Still get very mild hayfever in a bad year, but no more asthma, and I ended up running marathons and doing martial arts and various extreme sports, so I wouldn't worry about asthma longer term - just be sure to get the right medicine/inhalers and see if you need to alter conditions at home (look at pets, smokers, airflow, humidity etc in the house)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T09:59:12.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7410" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7411" CreationDate="2013-02-05T14:14:51.433" Score="9" ViewCount="56770" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2.5 year old daughter. She sleeps great once she's asleep. We do the nightly routine and put her to bed. She gets into bed after story time and cuddles her stuffed animals and closes her eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After my wife and I leave the room she will play in bed - sometimes it's kicking the wall, sometimes talking to her stuffed animals, sometimes singing, etc... She may do this for 5 minutes to an hour. Even when we're sure she's tired she will stay up and play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have taken to standing in her room and saying &quot;Shhh&quot; or &quot;Lay still.&quot; when she's been going for a while without falling asleep. Usually after 15-30 minutes of this she will fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got the idea of standing in there from people who's kids kept getting out of bed - recommendations were to put them back in bed and sit there quietly without getting upset or emotional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are we doing the right thing by staying in there? I'm hesitant to try any kind of bribery like &quot;Go to sleep and you get X in the morning&quot; or &quot;If you don't fall asleep you won't get Y tomorrow&quot; since I'm not sure she'll remember the cause or reason for them the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't show any signs of being afraid or reluctance to get in bed. She's never climbs out and we don't play in bed. We read stories on a rug near the bed and after hugs and kisses she climbs into bed. Any thoughts or suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1071" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-02-05T16:04:23.163" LastActivityDate="2018-07-24T19:04:50.137" Title="Toddler Plays in Bed and Won't go to Sleep" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7410" CreationDate="2013-02-05T14:31:20.450" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she's simply not tired, if she was tired she'd be out like a light. Or she might be too wound up by some sort of activity just before bed. It's also possible that she just likes talking and playing a bit before sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Standing in the room is the least productive thing you can do, it's not going to make her go to sleep, in fact it probably would keep her awake more than anything else. Plus, it's an invasion of her space. If she's kicking the wall go in, tell her to stop, and get out. Better yet, do nothing, as she gets attention if she kicks the wall. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;having more wind down time between activities and bed-time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;putting her to bed a bit later - she may not be tired when she goes to bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a glass of warm milk, it's a natural mild sedative&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T14:31:20.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7410" CreationDate="2013-02-05T14:32:22.273" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (22 months) does the same thing.  He actually kicks us out of his bedroom when he's ready (&quot;Night night!  Night night, Mommy!&quot;) and then plays for up to an hour.  He always falls asleep in his bed when he's ready to go to sleep, though, and sleeps the night through.  Not tired in the morning, and gets a good nap at daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IOW, I wouldn't worry about it.  So long as her room is kid-safe so she can play in there and not hurt herself, and she can't roam the house at night after everyone goes to bed, let her play.  It might be her own personal way of settling down for a good night's sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if you want her in bed because you don't want her roaming the house, maybe a baby gate at her doorway?  For our son, we actually have a wireless IP camera in his room to watch him so we usually just lock his door (he's already shown a remarkable ability to scale baby gates) until he goes to sleep.  After he's asleep, we unlock it and leave it closed; he assumes it's still locked and doesn't try to leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T14:32:22.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7413" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7416" CreationDate="2013-02-05T14:57:06.177" Score="9" ViewCount="1736" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am sure that I am treading on eggshells here as this is a matter of opinion, but please do read on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I absolutely resent when people use incorrect spelling for 90% of their words, on purpose. My younger sister, who is a teenager now, has been dragged into this strange world of &quot;text spelling&quot; / &quot;short spelling&quot; or whatever it is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just one of her written sentences: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;i do agree wid dis..coz evn i hav xperienced !! u will defnetly c d change&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is probably acceptable when you're typing on your phone where it is inconvenient or if you're typing to save the words (texting) but she does this pretty much everywhere and I'd like her to get back to using her regular language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I had a quick chat about this with her, she thinks that it's &quot;cool&quot; to write like that, and that google+ / facebook is not an exam so she doesn't have to stick to a format of writing. I didn't want to argue about it because if I do, it would only worsen the situation and she'd probably avoid it when I'm around. Probably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that this way of speaking could seriously harm your real language skills (English is not our first language, but we literally use it everywhere) I have friends who've gone on from, &quot;it's only messenger!&quot; to, &quot;Oh snap, I just mailed my potential employer with my chat language&quot; (I am not even making that up)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of just telling her what to do, I'd like her to understand why she should avoid writing like that. How can I get her to stop writing this way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ps: I tried looking up but no one seems to have an opinion on this matter.. may be I am taking it too seriously?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3202" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-02-05T16:05:58.717" LastActivityDate="2017-04-25T15:38:26.833" Title="How to get my sister to use correct spelling while typing on computer?" Tags="|behavior|education|teen|pre-teen|language|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7413" CreationDate="2013-02-05T15:12:23.430" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're taking this too seriously.  I work in the tech industry and see new graduates come through who use &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leet&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;l33tspeak&lt;/a&gt; personally but have no trouble using professional language in a professional setting.  Certainly she's not using l33tspeak in her school work and papers, right?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she progresses in her schooling and then career, it's very likely she'll be able to easily switch between 'regular' English and l33tspeak.  Sure, there might be the occasional screw-up, but that can happen at any time, with any language, just by a second of inattention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdata: I use l33tspeak regularly in my personal communications, and never in my professional work (not even in the code). Never a screw-up; proofreading is your friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T15:12:23.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6953" CreationDate="2013-02-05T15:34:35.530" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was 5/6, we found out she could'nt read or write. She also had huge difficulties catching a ball, running, not bumping into things/people, finding her way around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It turned out to be a visual deficiency - an inability of her brain to process images, and so build up a meaningful sense of space, but also to control the fine movements of her eye - try reading while your eyes are constantly shifting their gaze uncontrollably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cure came through a beefed up version of tummy time. She lay on her tummy watching her thumbs in front of her. She crawled on the floor. She walked on all fours and tried to balance on one arm and one leg... Many other such exercises that caused her to catch up with what tummy time does in babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work was hard but her progress were fast, unrelenting and still amazes me. After 2 weeks she ate without dropping food outside the plate (much). After three I heard her run downstairs for the first time - and for the first time ever, thought &quot;she's going to fall&quot;, because she'd always been so incredibly careful. Reading took another year, finding the house from a nearby street one more, catching a ball longer still. The great victory was cycling - at 11. Today her spelling is practically right, and apart from atrocious handwriting and low confidence, she is an ordinary 13-year old. We still deliberately play ball and cycle as if it was a job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do yourself a favour and put your baby on his belly. Lay in front of him and play. Send balls to watch in front of him, crawl with him, climb obstacle races of cushions and furniture. Give up any illusion your house can be tidy for another day while your child lays under some tripod of &quot;educational&quot; soft bits hanging down over his head. Kids need movement, and if it looks like push ups they still need it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3849" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T15:34:35.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7413" CreationDate="2013-02-05T15:53:27.523" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll start off by saying that there is a time and place for text shortcuts like the ones you described.  Where, exactly, the time and place for those shortcuts are is subject to debate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, the appropriate time and place for this is either in real-time chat, where taking the time to ensure proper spelling, punctuation and grammar (SPaG) can disrupt the &quot;flow&quot; of the conversation(s), when using a restrictive input device (such as a cell phone keyboard, or a virtual keyboard accessed by mouse or other movement controller), or when there is a restriction on the number of characters that can be entered (such as Twitter.com or the comment system here).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've encountered plenty of people, though, who feel that there's absolutely nothing wrong with using shortcuts like this on any &quot;informal&quot; typed medium.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I despise seeing stuff like this on forums, emails, or even social media.  I think it is lazy and disrespectful of your audience, unless you are very familiar with the audience and know that they won't mind.  But that's just me; many other people are more tolerant of this, and I feel like the proportion who don't mind such a style increases daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, to get to your question: what can &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; do about it?  Unfortunately, as a sibling, there probably is very little you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7414/420&quot;&gt;Valkyrie&lt;/a&gt; mentioned, proofreading is your sister's friend.  You can remind her to double- or triple-check any homework assignment, resume, or other formal document you know she may be working on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, the primary responsibility for your sister knowing how to write appropriately lies with her teachers, and herself.  If she's doing her homework assignments, hopefully either she's not using shortcuts like this, or her teachers are marking her down.  If neither of these are the case, you may want to ask your parents if they'd consider bringing this to the Parent Teacher Association, or other valid forum, since teachers absolutely should be enforcing proper English on assignments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only other thing I think that is really an option for you is ignoring anything she writes using shortcuts.  That most definitely includes emails, text messages, or other communications directed at you.  Just explain to her that you find it hard to read that style of writing, and ask that out of courtesy, you'd like her to use normal English in anything directed at you, so you don't have to struggle to figure out what she means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then if she texts you with &quot;if u c ne $ in d car plz brng it 2 me&quot;, you can ignore it, and she doesn't get what she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T16:58:09.580" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7371" CreationDate="2013-02-05T17:00:01.193" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a drummer and recently purchased some moulded silicone ear plugs to protect my hearing whilst playing in bands.  Yes, (most!) bands sound different to infants, but it's a similar problem.  I don't see any references to this type of protection in the answers here, so I thought I'd post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I bought a product like &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.acscustom.com/uk/products/hearing-protection/pro-series/pro-15&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; (pictured below).  Some white material was syringed into my ear at my appointment.  This was left in for about 10 minutes until it set hard, and then removed and sent off to be used as the basis for making the actual silicone ones.  This process wasn't as nasty as it might sound: actually the 10 minutes of near complete silence (whilst the cool material was setting) was very pleasant!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/gNFao.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Custom moulded silicone ear plugs&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The custom moulds mean they are quite comfortable to wear.  I had a choice of filters: 9, 15 or 25dB (for relatively quiet orchestras through to loud rock bands respectively).  I like them because they don't colour the sound I hear -- it's just quieter.  But I imagine it is possible to get filters that attempt to minimise your tinnitus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are expensive, but they are comfortable and they don't disable your hearing by any means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest finding and talking to a specialist in hearing protection, particularly someone that knows how to deal with tinnitus.  I'm in the UK, and was helped by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.musicianshearingservices.co.uk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Musicians' Hearing Services&lt;/a&gt; via the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.musiciansunion.org.uk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Musicians' Union&lt;/a&gt;, but here there are also companies serving the &quot;workplace noise&quot; market (eg lots of information &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.soundadvice.info&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;at soundadvice.info&lt;/a&gt;), which might be more relevant than something specific to music.  That's all rather UK-specific, but I expect similar services exist in Austria?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;: added picture and some more links.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3855" LastEditorUserId="3855" LastEditDate="2018-09-16T15:06:54.137" LastActivityDate="2018-09-16T15:06:54.137" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7413" CreationDate="2013-02-05T23:02:41.157" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered that it is a part of her world, and the fact it annoys you probably makes it even more appealing to her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like it, but it is catching on with that age group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing to remember is that language continually evolves- and that evolution is driven by younger generations. While we may not like it, the problem may be at our end. Perhaps the correct response is to just accept that she wants to use text speak. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-02-05T23:02:41.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2013-02-06T14:20:52.340" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I get my 2 year old to eat eggs with this simple &quot;pancake&quot; recipe: Beat one egg in a little container, add 2-3 tablespoons of oats (1minute or 5minute, no problem!), a little dash of vanilla extract. Mix well and store covered in the fridge overnight so the oatmeal absorbs all the liquid. In the morning, heat a bit of butter in a pan and cook as you would a pancake. I serve it with blueberries or other frozen or fresh berries I have on hand and a little drizzle of maple syrup. She devours it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3864" LastActivityDate="2013-02-06T14:20:52.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7420" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-06T14:24:24.947" Score="7" ViewCount="7196" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a school counselor working with 14-18 year old students.  I have been made aware of a 14 year old male student who has body odor so noxious that his teacher came to me and mentioned that other students are noticing it and staying away from him.  I have talked to female students in the past and related to them woman to woman about taking care of their bodies, but I am unsure of how to address the situation with a male student with whom I have no prior contact.  Any suggestions?  I can talk to all of the young men in his grade and remind them that growing up involves treating their bodies differently, but I'm concerned that he would feel more singled out than if I pulled him aside separately. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="507" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-12-19T20:47:14.603" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T22:32:01.733" Title="Young teenager with body odor" Tags="|teen|hygiene|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7421" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-06T14:26:17.603" Score="2" ViewCount="878" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, 2 years old, has recently started some behavior that is concerning me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This morning he was upset (this isn't terribly uncommon for him in the morning, when both my wife and I are getting ready for work).  In between tears, and demands for milk and to be picked up, he told me he needed his temperature taken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took his temperature (we use a non-invasive &lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/B00005UMZS&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;temporal thermometer&lt;/a&gt;), and it was perfectly normal.  He didn't even wait to see my reaction, though.  As soon as I ran it across his forehead, he walked away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's also been complaining about stomach aches which go away 30 seconds later:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;My belly hurts.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Where?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Here.&amp;quot; (points to a spot on his belly)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Do you have to poop?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;No.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Does it still hurt?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;No.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These two things by themselves probably wouldn't concern me, but there's a family history that factors into this which is why I'm worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's family is, in my opinion, somewhat obsessed about health issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Illness and injury are perpetual topics.  Any indication of something out of the ordinary seems to result in my wife evaluating symptoms to determine if she should worry.  If he seems unusually cranky, she takes his temperature.  If he seems &amp;quot;out of sorts&amp;quot; (defined as any period lasting more than 5 minutes where he isn't smiling and wanting to play), she takes his temperature and asks if we should take him to the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was 6 months old, he was incorrectly diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis.  Our specialist warned us to watch for &amp;quot;bulky, greasy stools&amp;quot; as an indication that he might be having pancreatic enzyme issues.  This led to her obsessively monitoring his bowel movements, and asking for constant evaluations of &amp;quot;does this poop look normal?&amp;quot;  I think that worry was understandable at the time (we tried to get a better description of what to look for, but the best we could get was that it may &amp;quot;explode out the top of the diaper&amp;quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we verified over a year ago that he doesn't actually have CF, and our specialist agreed that he was merely a carrier.  He's had no symptoms, yet every time I change a diaper, she asks &amp;quot;did he poop?  How did it look?&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted, I tend towards the opposite extreme when it comes to medical issues.  I don't go to a doctor unless I'm &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; sick, and feel that I can't get better without a prescription.  I try to be less reluctant to go to a doctor with my son, but I still feel that a cold, for example, is not a reason to go to the doctor.   Yet I fear that my wife's worries about his health push me even further into the &amp;quot;its not something to worry about&amp;quot; spectrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my main concern is that my wife's worry about health issues is not something I want my son to pick up.  My wife's attitude towards health issues is a somewhat watered-down version of my mother-in-law's, and my two sister-in-laws, so I feel that this behavior does seem to be learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it normal for a 2-year-old to ask for his temperature to be taken when he's upset, or complain about phantom pains?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make sure that he doesn't grow up to worry too much (or too little) about his health?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3865" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-02-06T19:31:02.980" Title="Is my toddler becoming too concerned with health issues?" Tags="|toddler|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-06T15:28:58.007" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he gets to the point where you feel he has a good grasp of the concept of the game, start playing &quot;for real&quot;.  If he always &quot;wins&quot;, then he won't understand that losing is just as important because it teaches how to be a good sport.  Additionally, it helps you to see if he plays the game because he enjoys the game or enjoys winning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is too young right now, but as his little personality develops more, he may have a competitive streak.  That might just be part of his nature.  As a mom of three, I can say without a doubt that there are games that my kids like playing regardless of winning or losing but simply because they enjoy the game.  But make not mistake about it, they are extra happy when they win. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3867" LastActivityDate="2013-02-06T15:28:58.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7420" CreationDate="2013-02-06T15:33:05.067" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a Middle School Science and Health teacher for awhile and had to deal with this issue often.  First, your idea of having a meeting with all the boys about new hygiene methods (and then also all the girls as well - some schools do same time, others do separately) isn't a bad one at all.  If it isn't already standard, it might not be a bad idea for it to become standard - at the very beginning of this age group's school year (for us, it was sixth grade) before anyone starts getting &quot;stinky.&quot;  However, &lt;strong&gt;now&lt;/strong&gt; that there is someone in particular with a problem that might not have felt singled out if it was standard procedure at the beginning of the year, it is probably too late to do this now, without having him feel singled out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to the one boy in particular, I suggest looking at his records for mention of illnesses that may play a part in body odor and &lt;strong&gt;gently&lt;/strong&gt; asking the parents about it, for reasons also mentioned by Beofett.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Not an answer, but be very careful about addressing this. Some medical&#xA;  conditions, or even medications, can cause strong or offensive body&#xA;  odors. If this is the cause, then suggesting he improve his hygiene&#xA;  would be about the worst thing you could do to his self-esteem over&#xA;  something he most likely is already very self-conscious about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He makes a very good point.  You'll want to do this &lt;strong&gt;before&lt;/strong&gt; addressing the whole class as the more knowledge you are armed with the more sensitive you can be even in the whole-class situation.  If he is conscious of the problem, but unable to do much about it, even a whole-class situation &lt;strong&gt;will make him feel singled out&lt;/strong&gt;.  Kids are smart and he will know what is going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parents may also be sensitive (even if it is just a hygiene issue), so I suggest approaching it from concern for his social standing before bringing up the fact that a teacher alerted you to it.  Make sure everyone involved feels loving concern from you rather than judgement.  If there isn't anything medical, the parents might be relieved at the idea of help, or they may have some hang-up about talking to their son about things.  I once had one mom insist that her children (she had twin boys with the problem you are facing) not be exposed to &quot;commercials&quot; about deodorants that contain &quot;unhealthy chemicals&quot; to which her precious sons should not be exposed even by knowing that deodorants exist (She was upset about a picture in the text-book we were using).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is more to it than just a hygiene issue, you can brainstorm with the parents (and boy) about ways to address the social challenge through education (without getting personal) if they &lt;strong&gt;want&lt;/strong&gt; the help.  If they don't, leave it be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-19T21:48:00.720" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T21:48:00.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7421" CreationDate="2013-02-06T16:38:35.433" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Normally, I tend to tell dads to listen to their wife's instinct because my mommy instinct has never steered me wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're dealing with borderline hypochondria, it's a delicate balancing act of responding when your child is legitimately ill and not over-reacting to every little cut/scrape/cold/imagined infection.  I know.  My mom and grandmother are mild hypochondriacs and I work &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; hard to only go to the doctor when I feel like I need to go, and I only take my kids to the doctor if I feel like they need to go.  This means that I actively have to monitor myself when my children are sick to avoid over-concern and rushing them to the doctor for every tiny fever.  I agree with you that this is a bit of a learned behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know that I would say that it's &lt;em&gt;normal&lt;/em&gt; for a two-year-old to want his/her temperature taken, but I can tell you that my 2 1/2 year old daughter has developed a new obsession with the thermometer we use to take her temperature.  She doesn't actually &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; her temp taken--we still take it rectally, but if we were using a temporal thermometer she probably would.  And she has &quot;phantom boo-boos&quot; all the time, more or less because she wants a bandaid (or she'll insist that a minor boo-boo is much worse than it really is so she can get a bandaid).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, there's probably no harm in humoring him to an extent.  If running a thermometer across his head is all he needs to &quot;feel better&quot; then why not?  What he's really saying is, &quot;I want some attention, even if it's just for a minute, I want your attention focused on me 100%&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want to encourage the behavior, then you might try getting him up a few minutes earlier so you and he (or he and your wife) can have some special one-on-one time.  I do this with my 5-year-old who is just notoriously difficult to get up and running in the morning.  I'll go sit on his bed and wake him up sometimes and ask if I can have a hug and we'll spend 5 minutes or so hugging and talking about our day.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for ensuring he doesn't grow up too focused (or not focused enough) on his health, this is going to have to be a joint-effort between you and your wife.  I don't think your intent is to minimize your wife's health concerns, but I completely see your side of the coin, too.  Next time she asks about your son's poop, you might just in passing say, &quot;You know, he's been given a clean bill of health for a year now.  We don't really need to obsess over his poop anymore&quot;.  It sounds like your wife needs to talk about it, and this might open up the door for her to do that.  She was scared and nothing can strike fear into the heart of a mommy like worrying that her child may have an incurable disease.  And she might not even realize how much she's been obsessing over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our rule around here is:  If there's no obvious sign of illness (general crankiness does NOT count as an obvious sign of illness), then we don't worry.  Fever, diarrhea, vomiting, severe cough, rashes--these are the things we look for and generally one of those signs will accompany an illness that may require a visit to the doctor.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really rely on my husband to help keep me in check about this kind of thing, and the best thing he can do is offer me his honest opinion which we can use to make a plan--especially if our opinions on the child's illness is particularly divergent.  However, my husband also knows that if I say I feel like we need to take one of our kids to the doctor/emergency room, then he should give it serious thought.  Mommy's intuition has probably saved both my kid's lives--once when my son was an infant and severely dehydrated after a nasty stomach illness, and once when my daughter was six months old, had RSV, and wound up being hospitalized for a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-02-06T16:38:35.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7421" CreationDate="2013-02-06T16:40:51.623" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dollars to donuts he's picking up this concern from his mother.  Not an exact analogy, but our 4 yr old daughter was exhibiting negative talk (&quot;I had a bad day. I had bad dreams.  I'm not happy.&quot;) and trying to get out of going to school.  AFter talking with her and her teachers, and determining the problem wasn't school, we had an epiphany: her father is a pessimist and likes to complain and grumble about his work, life, whatever.  He and I agreed that we'd drop the negative talk around her (&quot;my day was horrible.  This week sucks.  I'm so sick of my job.&quot;) and the turn-around, instead of taking months, took literally DAYS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand your wife's concerns; my son was a preemie with apnea and it took a while before I quit freaking out over every little sniffle and fever. Having a child is having your heart walk around outside your body, and the thought of them being sick or in danger can be freaky.  For your child's sake, though, my recommendation is that she learn to tone down the focus on poor health and the absolute certainty that the next bad disease is just around the corner.  It's not good for her, and it's not good for you, and it's not good for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your big chore is going to be talking to your wife about this without coming across as accusatory or implying that she's messing up her child.  To tackle our issue, I talked with my husband as it being a &quot;we&quot; issue, even though it's really more 70-30 him (I'm the optimist in the crew and rarely focus on the negative; years and years of therapy helped me get there).  And when I pointed out that it was for our kids, and not us, he was immediately on board and didn't just turn over a new stone, he picked up that boulder and chucked it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's amenable, some time spent with a therapist might help her to learn how to redirect her anxiety and maybe calm herself on these issues, so she's not constantly verbalizing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2013-02-06T19:31:02.980" LastActivityDate="2013-02-06T19:31:02.980" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7420" CreationDate="2013-02-06T17:28:52.177" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been in that boy's situation before, although perhaps to a smaller degree.  Anti-perspirant gives me an unbearable burning rash, and deodorant is bearable, but barely.  In high school, it wasn't quite that bad, but still uncomfortable.  Either my skin has gotten worse or it's all the extra extra extra strength ingredients they use nowadays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; want to do is address it in a group small enough for him to be the only one with the problem.  Everyone knows who you are talking about, and rather than feeling anonymous in a crowd, he will feel like he is being personally berated in front of a crowd.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really this is under the parents' purview.  You should tell them some other students have begun noticing his odor, that you wanted to make them aware, and if there's anything you can do to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What parents should know, or school officials if the parents are unable or unwilling to address it, is that he is likely aware of the issue, but may not be aware of how much other people notice, or he knows but cares about his own comfort more.  He probably would fix it if he knew a convenient and comfortable way to do so.  In other words, you're most likely not telling him something he doesn't already know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to him in private and get to the root of the matter.  Even if the odor isn't avoidable altogether due to some sort of medical or skin condition, there are usually ways to mitigate it.  He can try using other brands, or a deodorant without anti-perspirant.  He can shower in the morning instead of at night.  He can wash his clothes more often.  Maybe his coat is too heavy, so he sweats too much on the trip to school.  He can talk to a dermatologist or other doctor.  In &lt;a href=&quot;http://voices.yahoo.com/medical-conditions-cause-body-odor-5714190.html&quot;&gt;this list&lt;/a&gt; of conditions, almost all of them have medicinal or dietary changes that can help.  These are things it may have never occurred to him to try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-02-06T17:28:52.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7427" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-07T06:52:37.207" Score="19" ViewCount="5377" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children are raised multilingual; we live in Austria and they learn all their German from my wife and from the world around us. I'm Danish and I want my kids to know that language too, so since birth I've exclusively spoken Danish to them even though I'm perfectly fluent in German. So far, my 3yo understands 100% of what I say but always responds in German - that's good enough for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually my kids might not want me to speak my native language but rather the language of the country we live in, because they might feel it's &quot;not cool&quot; to have a dad that doesn't conform to their peers' social norms - or whatever other reasons (pre-)teens might come up with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to avoid that my kids don't want to talk to me, but I also want to make sure they know the language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I just tell them,  &lt;strong&gt;tough luck, you'll have to accept that I speak this language,&lt;/strong&gt; or should I respect their wish?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2017-04-15T11:34:16.150" Title="What if my kids don't want me to speak my native language?" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7427" CreationDate="2013-02-07T08:52:13.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know family that does this way that father speaks with children in language and mother speaks to them in another one. I think it's very important to know as many languages as possible, and I think that it will be useful to make your children fluent in Danish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest making a rule that they can only talk to you in Danish and this should work well. As the family I've mentioned about dose it this way. Also I think that you can find out how to do this not a as &lt;em&gt;&quot;tough luck&quot;&lt;/em&gt; but as a possibility for your children to become &quot;cooler&quot;. Firs of all you can make them understand that they are &lt;strong&gt;more&lt;/strong&gt; than people around them, as they know the German language as anyone else, but they also have extra skills. Also an idea of a &quot;safe&quot; language to communicate with each other while no one around understands you can be motivating too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck with your multilingual adventures :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3783" LastActivityDate="2013-02-07T08:52:13.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7427" CreationDate="2013-02-07T10:14:51.880" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will probably soon have the same problem - I am Russian and I live in the Czech Republic. My wife is Czech (although she speaks perfect Russian too) and we have a son. He is 2+ years old at the moment and we have made the rule that she speaks to him in Czech (sometimes in Russian too, as I'm often at work and can't be with my son as often, as she can) and I only speak to him in Russian. When I ask him about something, I almost always tell him to answer in Russian - when he answers in Czech, I ask him something along the lines of &quot;And how do you say that in Russian?&quot; He doesn't always remember, but from time to time he does and sometimes even tries to correct either me, telling me that the correct word is the one my wife uses, or my wife, telling her that the correct word is the one I use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've decided that, as he grows older, I will only speak to him in Russian and we will try to make it interesting/fun for him to speak Russian too. A couple of thoughts about how to do it that we have:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;his grandparents (my parents) don't know any Czech. He loves them and I think he will want to communicate with them - and for that he will want to speak Russian;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I myself am a linguist and have always tried to learn new languages. Haven't stopped, still learning in my spare time. I hope that, in trying to become more like his dad, he will try pick up my hobbies too - one of them being learning and speaking other languages;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we plan to somehow explain to him that knowing other languages makes him cooler, as @Uko suggested in his answer. Or smarter. Or anything else, whatever makes him happy;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we are trying to have another baby at the moment and I intend on giving them this idea that Russian could be a kind of a secret language for them, that no one around would understand and that they could use just for fun when they don't want people around them to understand what they are talking about (or, even more likely, what they are writing about - because of the Cyrillic alphabet);&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I am showing my son Russian cartoons and when he gets a bit older I want to show him some Russian movies that I know I liked as a child. They aren't available in Czech and I hope he likes them - that way I can from time to time show him more, and he would need Russian to understand;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;to expand the previous thought - there's also great Russian books and music that one wouldn't understand without knowing Russian.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those aren't confirmed strategies, but something I've come up with and intend on trying to use. Hope it helps or at least gives you a successful vector of action. If I remember anything else, I'll post later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3260" LastActivityDate="2013-02-07T10:14:51.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7431" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-07T11:43:20.403" Score="8" ViewCount="672" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my family (including extended family), everybody speaks both German and Danish. It also means that everybody can speak whatever language they happen to prefer, and we even throw in a word from &lt;em&gt;the other&lt;/em&gt; language if it carries the meaning better. We live in Austria so German gets lots of exposure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7427/what-if-my-kids-dont-want-me-to-speak-my-native-language&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; about speaking &lt;strong&gt;to&lt;/strong&gt; my children and some of the answers mention the idea of &lt;strong&gt;requiring the children to respond in the same language.&lt;/strong&gt; I'm not sure whether that's a great idea or not so I thought I'd collect some thoughts on this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On one hand, it will probably help the child to a better &lt;em&gt;active&lt;/em&gt; vocabulary, but on the other hand I don't think I can actually make my kids do this. The kids know that I'm fluent in both languages, so why should they be forced to speak Danish to me? Especially given that they see me using whatever language I happen to prefer at the moment (except that I &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; speak Danish with the kids).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-02-09T14:18:59.643" Title="Should I make my child respond to me in my language?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7413" CreationDate="2013-02-07T17:28:38.840" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;From experience I can tell you being a sister is different than being a parent. If you are worried about how others see her, have an honest, calm conversation explaining about how others see her is important. She can CHOOSE to listen or not (parent vs. sister). This short conversation lets her know you care about her but still respect her decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also need to set boundaries for the way you will allow her to treat you. If you don't like the texts, don't respond until she treats YOU with the respect you deserve and texts you like an adult. It doesn't have to be confrontational, just say something like &quot;I couldn't read it so I didn't respond.&quot; or &quot;I don't have time to translate each text you send&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a parents job to take everything too seriously, a sibling with the same attitude is RARELY taken in the same context. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3669" LastActivityDate="2013-02-07T17:28:38.840" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7433" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7437" CreationDate="2013-02-07T21:06:13.610" Score="6" ViewCount="355" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 month old daughter started walking about 2 months ago, and is now a very strong walker for her age. I've taken to letting her walk part of the way whenever we're going somewhere (pushing the stroller with one hand, and holding her hand with the other). Whenever she gets tired (she never lasts more than 500-600 meters) I put her in the stroller and let her ride the rest of the way. I am now starting to wonder when I'll be able to completely leave the stroller behind and let my daughter just walk everywhere with me, which leads me to my question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age is the average child ready for longer (about 5 km, possibly broken up into two parts with a small rest in between) walks? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastActivityDate="2013-02-08T09:39:33.427" Title="When is it time to pack away the stroller?" Tags="|walking|stroller|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7431" CreationDate="2013-02-07T21:52:27.333" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In an effort to raise a child with exposure to anything other than &lt;strong&gt;just English&lt;/strong&gt; like many US kids until high school, (which I think puts them at a HUGE disadvantage).  I did a little research on the matter last year.  The book I liked the most for readability and its seeming ability to support its own theses with corroborative evidence was &quot;The Bi-lingual Edge.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this book, they suggest that it is common for kids raised to speak a &quot;family language&quot; in the home while hearing and using another popular language outside of the home to stop using the &quot;family language&quot; shortly after entering school.  The result (here in the states) with many of these families is a child that grows into an adult that understands a second language fluently, but can't recall vocabulary and sentence structure well enough to effectively communicate in that second language once their parents are no longer around and using the second language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The suggestion the book's authors make, is to refuse to &quot;understand&quot; or &quot;respond&quot; to the language popularly used in your area in regard to use with your child.  While I understand that you are clarifying they already know that you can use German, it is possible to use this tact anyway.  I have always used it even within English alone if I don't like the tone used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;But Mo-om.  I don' Wan'na clean my rooo-ooom!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Oh I'm sorry I don't understand Whine.  Could you say that in English (or on &quot;German Days&quot; German) please?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For you, It might be more like, (In Danish) &quot;I Choose not to respond to German.  Could you try again in Danish Please?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child may sometimes choose not to try again.  This may mean he solves the problem for himself, or goes and seeks out Mom.  However, if you start from a very early age (where you are at now and what you are already doing) a lot of times, just trying again in Danish will be easier and that is the choice your child will most likely make, most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When, sometime your child complains about it, you can simply explain that it is to their advantage to know as many languages as possible and to retain and maintain their language skills they have to regularly use the language.  If they know that is your stand and know you will not repsond to the use of German, but will only respond to the use of Danish, they may get that adolescent annoyance with you at points in life, but you are the parent and are doing what you believe is right, and enforcing what you value.  Of course, in mixed company, you should all be able to use the language best suited to the situation, (Use German with their German friends rather than awkward, forced translation . . .) but in regard to the day-to-day that is what I've seen as the supported hypothesis for best handling the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll admit, I'm still testing the waters with my own and far from fluent myself, so my experience is pretty thin.  At the same time, I've seen so many friends and family members lose active speech for lack of practice (myself included) and think it is a tragedy to toss away such a gift lightly.  Parents don't like to admit to &quot;forcing&quot; kids to do things, but realistically, it is part of the job.  No one wants to do dishes, but we teach them to do dishes because it is a life skill they need.  No one likes losing, but check out the question about letting a toddler lose or not.  If you value teaching the language to your kids, they'll understand that, even if it does annoy them at times, they'll feel the love behind your choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-02-09T14:18:59.643" LastActivityDate="2013-02-09T14:18:59.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7431" CreationDate="2013-02-08T03:07:15.057" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The wording of your question is going to color your answers. As soon as you say &quot;Should I make X do Y&quot;, &quot;Should I force X to do Y&quot; you'll get a lot of reaction to the &quot;make&quot; and &quot;force&quot; part. (current answers excluded!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my reading of &quot;Raising a Bilingual Child&quot;, Zurur, it's common for kids to switch to their stronger language because their goal is communication, they don't really see the importance of practice for the long term goal of acquiring and keeping a skill.  So if your child thinks it is easier to get you to understand him in German, he'll speak German.  For young children it is easy to feign ignorance of the other language and very young children sometimes think it is impossible to speak to Dad in Mom's language even if they see Mom and Dad both using that language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing I learned from the book is that there is a lower bound to the # of hours of exposure a week a child needs to a language so that the minority language doesn't lose out to their dominant one.  Often the minority language parent only has time to chat a bit each work day evening and a bit more on the weekend (let's say a round 6 hrs a week), that's 14 hrs short of the exposure necessary to keep it from becoming the weaker language (the boundary is actually fuzzier, the point is, 20 minutes a day isn't enough).  And then kids switch to being passively fluent (able to listen and understand) but not actively fluent (not speaking back).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's any consolation, this is a common phenomena.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and an idea for dealing with diglossia-- if you can pick which domains are German and which are Danish, you can trigger switches more often. For example, with my soon to be born kid, we're planning to do Russian at home, Tagalog at Grandmas, English outside of the home. The existence of a trigger (walking through the door) helps encourage a language switch.  Indians (and filipinos) digloss--rapidly switching back and forth between 2 languages and they get away with it, but they digloss all the time. I've only seen Swedish comedians and Icelandic hipsters digloss like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-02-08T03:07:15.057" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7436" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-08T06:52:36.387" Score="3" ViewCount="1584" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 10 weeks pregnant now and getting excessive saliva. Does that mean something and will it stop some time soon? Anyone had the same issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3879" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-30T12:21:00.147" LastActivityDate="2020-02-07T04:22:17.997" Title="Is excessive saliva production during pregnancy normal?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|mother|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7433" CreationDate="2013-02-08T09:39:33.427" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally, we had entirely variable results with our 3. Our first probably got the worst of it, as once his sister turned up (when he was 2) he didn't really get any travel in the buggy, aside from a brief stint with a double offroad buggy... We used to take it everywhere with us until she was around 3 - as we like taking the kids for long walks, hikes etc. Then our youngest did still use a buggy occasionally at age 4 - by then we had a shoulder strap type buggy so we would have it when she became exhausted (often abot 5 miles up a track in the middle of nowhere :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For something like a 5km walk - all of ours were happy doing that by age 3. I think they were about 5 before they were comfortable with mountains/munros and longer walks, but by then I had taught them to climb and belay so they have always been used to this sort of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your mileage may vary - best bet is to keep the stroller until she doesn't need it for a whole walk (or almost a whole walk - the last half mile when they are tired, but you don't have a stroller can be a good experience...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, I think we had 6 different buggies in total - offroad, travelling, shopping, long distance, offroad double and a holiday one we used to take to the beach in Portugal. You'll have a few, just go with what your child needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-02-08T09:39:33.427" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-02-08T09:57:57.760" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would never do this. It sets up an inappropriate sense of entitlement which will you will eventually have to deal with. Instead, consider games of chance so you have no skill advantage, and play fairly. If you can find a suitably short game, try playing many hands so that he both wins some and loses some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I did with my son when I thought he was too expectant of winning was to remind him beforehand that he might lose, so he was prepared for the possibility. He'd be like &quot;let's play a game!!!&quot; and I'd be like &quot;OK, but you might lose! It could happen!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="874" LastActivityDate="2013-02-08T09:57:57.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7427" CreationDate="2013-02-08T17:25:17.777" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience growing up bilingual, the problem won't be that your kids don't want &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; to speak the &quot;foreign&quot; language, but that &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; will refuse to speak the &quot;foreign&quot; language. (The fact that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; will do uncool things is a given: you're the parent, &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; you do is by definition uncool.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way to counteract this is to build up a good foundation before they hit that rebellious age, and then to stick to your guns. You're the parent, so &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; make the rules, including what language you use and when.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again from my experience growing up as a member of a foreign-language speaking ethnic group in an English-speaking country, the kids whose parents were at least somewhat strict about speaking the foreign language all eventually &quot;saw the light&quot; and realized that knowing a second language is a Good Thing&lt;sup&gt;TM&lt;/sup&gt;; some of them now live in the &quot;mother country&quot; (even though they weren't born there) and/or have spouses from there. The kids whose parents &quot;gave in&quot;, on the other hand, are basically no longer bilingual: they know the meaning of some words, but they can't really hold a conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="984" LastActivityDate="2013-02-08T17:25:17.777" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7441" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-09T22:04:06.300" Score="6" ViewCount="260" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 1.5 years old.  She has an ulcer on her tongue and gum. The doctor gave me medicine (similar to mouth wash). I am supposed to apply this medicine to her tongue and gum, without her swallowing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I returned home, I figured out it was pretty hard to keep her mouth open, and it is almost impossible to apply the medication without being bitten hard by newly-sharp teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I get the medicine where it needs to go, without her swallowing it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1485" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-02-12T13:20:29.080" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T16:29:50.580" Title="How do you apply medicine to an infant's tongue?" Tags="|toddler|medicine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7441" CreationDate="2013-02-10T12:05:59.153" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Physically, this should be relatively straightforward, at that age they can't bite that hard - and you can use a thumb to help hold the jaw open. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But a more useful way to do this is to get her cooperation - at that age, especially if the ulcer is hurting her, help her understand what the medicine will do to help. Of course this is easier if it tastes nice, but you should be able to help her understand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may even be able to help apply the medicine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-02-10T12:05:59.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7443" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-10T17:29:49.180" Score="10" ViewCount="1484" Body="&lt;p&gt;With subways being crowded spaces, with gaps to get over, escalators and steps etc., what types of stroller, and what functionality in a stroller should I be looking at for my newborn/infant?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3889" LastEditorUserId="163" LastEditDate="2013-02-11T19:30:12.130" LastActivityDate="2013-04-12T17:51:06.340" Title="What stroller features are essential for regular use on the subway?" Tags="|infant|newborn|travel|stroller|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="513" CreationDate="2013-02-11T11:16:02.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you can, use some holiday time and take wednesdays off work. I did this in the first few weeks after paternity leave finished. The effect is that you get a little 'mini weekend' to break up the week, so that its only 2 days without help around the house for your other half, rather than 5 days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3007" LastActivityDate="2013-02-11T11:16:02.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7446" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7448" CreationDate="2013-02-11T14:15:58.553" Score="11" ViewCount="1423" Body="&lt;p&gt;Normally, my son (2 years old) does very well sharing with other kids.  In fact, he's remarkably social, even with children he's never met before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And therein lies the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a recent trip to the museum, he was very excited by everything that was going on, but mostly by what the other kids were doing.  The problem is that he wanted to play with other kids, including older ones, but not everyone takes kindly to a 2 year old running over and &quot;helping&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I definitely don't want to discourage him from the idea that sharing toys is the best way, but how do we address him running over to strangers and expecting to share?  In some cases, that's appropriate, but when an older child is carefully arranging velcro stars into specific constellation patterns, my son running over and moving stars around or slapping new ones over the other child's isn't appropriate.  Similarly, if there's a bin of blocks or Legos, my son wants to contribute to the other kids' projects, even though there's enough space/materials for him to play on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids are going to be alright with this, but others may not be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I approach this with my son?  Ideally, I'd like him to ask the other kids if he can play with them, but at this age not all of the kids he wants to play with are verbal enough to respond appropriately, plus he moves so fast that its difficult for us to anticipate where he is going, in order to get him to ask first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if the child he asks says &quot;no&quot;?  When we taught him how to share, we tried to be clear that he doesn't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to share, but he &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt;.  This may be a little harder to grok coming from the other direction, particularly if the toys and designated play areas clearly are communal.  Its much easier to say &quot;this other little boy/girl is playing with that now; let's find something else to play with&quot; than &quot;this other little boy/girl is playing in this area; you can play too, but you have to stay over here and leave them alone.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2017-08-23T15:20:20.347" Title="How do you teach a toddler not to share?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|sharing|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7446" CreationDate="2013-02-11T17:21:08.757" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were perhaps a bit too conservative in our approach - we encouraged our lot from the start to come and ask us if they could go and play with another child, which gave us the opportunity to say, &quot;No - that boy is busy,&quot; or, &quot;You're a bit too big to play with her.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On reflection, this probably made our kids, well, at least our eldest, a bit reticent to go and play so I would suggest that while it is useful to have a bit of 'checking in' before they go running off, giving them some freedom while watching so you can step in if they do look like they are heading for a smaller child or one who won't appreciate the attention is probably the way to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all likelihood, the other child's parents will also be watching out for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worst case scenario is you get to have a chat on how to be polite with other kids - a useful life lesson which includes saying sorry, understanding others (which they do pick up eventually if you get them to think how it would have made them feel) and possible chat with other parents (which may be helpful, as perhaps they want their child to play more with others rather than on their own)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-02-11T17:21:08.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7446" CreationDate="2013-02-11T17:59:17.670" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems you're having difficulty expressing the idea of &quot;not sharing&quot; in positive terms.  If you call it &quot;taking turns&quot; it's a lot easier to encourage in a positive way.  &quot;It's his turn to play with the legos now.  It's your turn to play with these velcro stars if you want.&quot;  Kids that age really glom onto the concept, because it reconciles the need to share with their desire to have exclusive use of a toy.  They're willing to give someone else a turn because they know they will eventually get one in return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-02-11T17:59:17.670" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3909" CreationDate="2013-02-11T20:18:43.417" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Somewhat counter intuitively, I seriously recommend you look at his daytime sleep. The kids at that age need a solid - up to 2h - daytime nap. If they &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; get that, it can really impact their night time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was our experience - twice. It takes a bit to wrap your head round, I admit!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not suggesting this is an authoritative guide but has some food for thought and may stimulate further reading up:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://baby.about.com/od/sleep/f/Can-A-Good-Baby-Nap-Pattern-Improve-Nighttime-Sleep.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://baby.about.com/od/sleep/f/Can-A-Good-Baby-Nap-Pattern-Improve-Nighttime-Sleep.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2070" LastActivityDate="2013-02-11T20:18:43.417" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3909" CreationDate="2013-02-11T21:18:09.580" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Train him by not responding to his &quot;i'm crying, take me out&quot; until a fixed time in the morning. Worked nicely with out little rascal ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2013-02-11T21:18:09.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7443" CreationDate="2013-02-12T04:34:43.870" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When navigating subways and escalators with a toddler or older infant with good head, neck, and back control, you want a lightweight, compact umbrella stroller that you can quickly and easily fold closed and open, and a hinge, hook, or clasp that you can engage to keep it shut when carrying it closed.  You can even carry your child and the folded up stroller at the same time up flights of stairs that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When navigating subways and escalators with a newborn or infant under 12 months, I've found it easiest to just wear them in a front carrier (most convenient and comforting for the kid, plus less germ exposure and more protection from accidental bumps and jostling).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When in Manhattan (NYC), San Francisco, Munich, and Disneyland, the above 2 options have served me well when traveling with the baby or toddler and while solo navigating subways, escalators, and stairs.  You can also bring both for long days out and about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My favorite wearable carrier for an older infant or young toddler is the ERGO baby carrier which distributes the baby's weight really well if you're going to be doing a lot of walking or on your feet all day.  Your back will thank you at the end of the day for spending a little extra to get that additional distributed weight support.  I've done entire 8 - 12 hour days that way.  However, for a newborn or younger infant, I'd recommend a wearable cloth wrap such as the Moby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A nicer than basic umbrella stroller is also worth spending a little more for.  Those are usually a bit taller and hence more comfortable for people over 5' to push, have a small basket under the seat for simple storage, offer a slight reclining option for the seat (for napping without head-slumping), and a basic sun shade canopy top.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own umbrella stroller, chosen after much deliberation and floor trials, takes up almost no trunk space as it folds nearly flat very compactly, has as small a footprint and maximum maneuverability as any you can find above the most basic umbrella strollers, is a lightweight dream for travel (about as light as you can go beyond the basic ones that only offer a fold-up seat &amp;amp; wheels), has easy to engage/disengage brakes, includes a removable parent console with a zippered compartment and ability to hold up to 2 drinks, has tons of mileage on it including any number of air flights using just a cheap thin nylon cloth bag with a drawstring for gate check protection, has the essential extras and nothing you don't (such as kids' snack trays that just add weight and bulk), is STILL holding up well after 2 1/2 years of frequent usage, AND only cost me about $40.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B002WB2G9I&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Stroller-City-Chic/dp/B002WB2G9I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1360695740&amp;amp;sr=8-1&amp;amp;keywords=my+first+years+jet&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It opens and closes like the basic models (very quickly, simply, and easily) and has a clasp hook you can engage to keep it closed.  As long as I hang it near the back, I can even hang my backpack diaper bag over the handles and it won't tip if the kid wants out.  If you are clever and motivated, you could even rig up a shoulder strap for it for easier carrying of it closed if you need to do that a lot.  At that price point, I would also be OK if it got stroller-jacked or damaged in transit, but it hasn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Tomy's The First Years also has a handsome Ignite model that's ~3 lbs heavier, heavier-duty, 1 inch wider, and has a somewhat taller seat for about $60 - $80.  Also more forward tippy, but not an issue unless you have a heavy diaper bag and a kid who likes to hop in and out.) &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B002WB2GB6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/The-First-Years-Ignite-Stroller/dp/B002WB2GB6/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1360700934&amp;amp;sr=1-1&amp;amp;keywords=the+first+years+ignite+stroller&lt;/a&gt; That model looks more expensive, more solid, and can fit a big kid for longer, but is still fairly portable if you don't mind maybe 20-25% more size and weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maclaren also makes travel-fabulous, equally maneuverable, lightweight, and featured umbrella strollers, but they are pricier and not quite as simple or intuitively easy to open and close.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3896" LastEditorUserId="3896" LastEditDate="2013-04-09T18:41:57.343" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T18:41:57.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7452" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7453" CreationDate="2013-02-12T05:13:55.067" Score="5" ViewCount="246" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we have dinner, our daughter will sit on her chair for 1 minute, and then she will go up to desk and start to play with plates and forks and food and ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we want to watch film or TV, she cries and wants to watch cartoons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we want to go on the Internet and turn on the computer, she cries and wants to play with the keyboard and mouse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When somebody calls us and starts the conversation, she cries and wants to speak with the person on the phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 19 months old and speaks with 10 words; other than that, she screams or cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More than half of our time is spent playing games with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We love her and everything she says, and we listen to her and pay attention to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help us and show us solutions as to how we can have a normal life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3643" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-02-12T13:16:00.037" LastActivityDate="2013-02-12T13:16:00.037" Title="How do you address a child who cries and wants to play with everything?" Tags="|teaching|crying|play-time|play|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7452" CreationDate="2013-02-12T09:35:41.907" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, it is normal to spend pretty much all her waking time trying to interact with her - remember, the more interaction she has with you, your wife and others now, the faster her brain will develop, and the easier it is for her to learn social skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, be sensible about it - you don't both need to be with her, so take turns - each of you needs to be able to take a break. Sometimes a parent needs to get out of the house and away from their child - even if just for a coffee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By 19 months you should be able to distract her, though, by giving her things to do. When you are working on the computer, give her an old keyboard or laptop to type on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the phone rings and she wants to talk, sometimes let her have a quick chat (eg if it is a grandparent, she may wish to say hello) so encourage her by taking turns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Granny says she would like to say hello to you...and now Granny wants&#xA;  to talk with me again, so say bye bye&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At dinner time, I think we had our kids in a high chair later than 19 months, to help get them used to being in one place to have a family dinner, and this was encouraged when they were older by ensuring all the other family members were round the table, so the children knew that if they went elsewhere they wouldn't have as much fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-02-12T09:35:41.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7446" CreationDate="2013-02-12T15:01:05.933" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In combination with the concept of &quot;taking turns&quot; you can &lt;strong&gt;also&lt;/strong&gt; talk to your little one about &quot;projects.&quot;  What I mean by that is best illustrated by giving you an example from home first, and they I'll explain how it applies out in the world.  The home example is also a way to &quot;practice&quot; the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, he'll need to know to offer help rather than just &quot;helping.&quot;  You'll also want to teach this at home first, and probably already have in some ways.  For example, sometimes he might help stir something to &quot;help&quot; in the kitchen, but he knows you and mommy need to do a lot of the kitchen stuff without his hands getting into it.  Projects can work like this too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in terms of toys; lets say the blocks are out.  You go over and start building a particular, &quot;house.&quot; with the blocks (this also works with play-dough since I know you like it too)  When he comes over to help you say, &quot;No thanks, I have something particular I'm building and I'd like to have my own project right now.  It was a nice choice to offer though.  Why don't you build a project of your own next to me?&quot;  If he doesn't &quot;offer&quot; first and just starts building, you can still say, &quot;thanks for wanting to help, but I'd like to do my own project right now. . .&quot; (similar ending to the other).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are done, tell him all about your &quot;house.&quot;  Who lives in it?  Where is each piece of &quot;furniture&quot; how did you build it... Then let hims &quot;share&quot; about his house and be amazed with his work too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a much more complicated concept than taking turns, and he won't get it right away.  However, if you start introducing the idea now at home, then it is one more tool in your arsenal that much sooner.  Almost immediately it will make the, &quot;no's&quot; and the kids that &quot;don't want to share&quot; seem more normal and less, &quot;mean&quot; even if he doesn't understand how to operate in the context on his own.  When he offers to &quot;help&quot; a friend at a place like the museum and gets a &quot;no,&quot;  It will just feel like a &quot;project&quot; situation (which is what it is really).  With the stars and other communal toys and situations, you would then help him figure out a &quot;domain&quot; for his constellations and a &quot;domain&quot; for the constellations the other boy is working on.  You become a &quot;team&quot; in the creation of your project.  It wasn't until about five I could expect my little one to figure out the domain part on her own, but it certainly helped her in her understanding of the other, older person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-02-12T15:01:05.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7427" CreationDate="2013-02-12T19:20:35.643" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your children are probably choosing to respond to you in German because they are more fluent in it, and they know that you understand it, not because they don't &lt;em&gt;want to&lt;/em&gt; use Danish. If you are the only person who speaks to your children in Danish, then probably around 70% of their input is in German. Children won't understand why you are telling them to respond in one language or another - they are just interested in expressing meaning in the manner they are most comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Research has shown that the most successful bilingual language learners are exposed to more than just one parent who speaks the second language.  They need to be members of a &lt;em&gt;community&lt;/em&gt; of speakers of both languages - they need to have a reason to use both languages beyond &quot;Daddy told me to.&quot; So if you want your children to be comfortable in German and Danish, do your best to integrate them into a community of Danish speakers. Whether that means spending more time with your relatives, finding a Danish nanny, or Danish playmates, you need to find a way to make &quot;Danish speaker&quot; an important part of their identities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3901" LastActivityDate="2013-02-12T19:20:35.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7457" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-12T20:09:00.353" Score="9" ViewCount="1401" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 15 months old and we are expecting a girl in 7-8 weeks. We have started talking about &quot;baby sister&quot; and we talk about baby sister's chair, car seat, room, etc. I know he doesn't understand it now, but am hoping that by talking about it it will help when she arrives. We look at books that have babies and talk about being soft with babies. Any other resources or recommendations on how to prepare him (as much as a 17 month old can be prepared) for the arrival of a sibling so close in age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1613" LastEditorUserId="3896" LastEditDate="2013-02-13T09:13:09.777" LastActivityDate="2013-02-13T12:00:45.653" Title="What can help prepare a 15 month old for the birth of a sibling?" Tags="|toddler|newborn|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7443" CreationDate="2013-02-12T20:15:55.577" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;user3896 already gave some very good hints - we also like the &lt;code&gt;Ergo Baby Carrier&lt;/code&gt; very much and it has often been incredibly useful, especially when being alone with the baby and having to pass stairs, steps, etc.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(Advantages of the Ergo: it distributes the weight of the child on hips and shoulders, it supports the baby well and on a large, soft sitting &quot;surface&quot;  and it adapts quite well to the body shape of the baby)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To your question:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I do not have explicit subway experience with strollers, but we're using a lot of public transportation (bus, tram), so the most important features for your use case are IMHO:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pivotable front wheels (better maneuverable without lifting the front wheels)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;small width (for passing narrow gaps)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;small weight&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;breaks that are easy to operate and strong enough to prevent the stroller from rolling around when parked in a train etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we always find very important is &lt;em&gt;a horizontal one-piece hand-grip&lt;/em&gt;, which also lets you steer the stroller quite comfortably with one hand (having the other hand free for whatever-you-need-it-for). &#xA;Very often the light-weight strollers have 2 handles (one left, one right) with not connection between them. Those are nearly impossible to steer with one hand only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Useful &quot;standard&quot; features:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sun shade top&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;reclining option for seat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a storage below the seat for transporting other &quot;things&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2013-02-12T20:15:55.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7457" CreationDate="2013-02-12T21:22:09.407" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're doing a pretty good job of preparing him for the positive aspects of having a baby sister.  The negative side is easier to overlook.  Primarily, he is accustomed to receiving your instant and undivided attention, which he will not be able to get as often.  A lot of parents anticipate this by showering him with attention now, and there's nothing really wrong with that, except it can make the transition more of a shock for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't already, I would start working on helping him be more independent.  If you have been feeding him, help him learn to feed himself.  If you have been rocking him to sleep for 30 minutes every time, help him get used to a shorter time.  If he doesn't know how to play quietly, help him start to learn now.  If he never plays by himself, help him gradually get used to that.  If he insists on one parent always doing a certain task with him, help him get used to the other parent helping out with that.  That way he won't feel like suddenly his parents never take care of him anymore.  Start making it a positive thing to act like a &quot;big boy&quot; now, so it won't feel like a negative thing to him after the baby comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-02-12T21:22:09.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7457" CreationDate="2013-02-13T12:00:45.653" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congrats on the move to man-to-man parenting!  First, I suggest you start figuring out now how to schedule some one-on-one time with him.  My daughter spent the first two months after her brother arrived telling me she didn't love me anymore, which was her way of telling me she needed attention too.  We started having Mommy-Daughter and Daddy-Daughter dates, and the jealousy melted away and has not returned, so long as we continue that tradition with both of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also try to find ways he can help with his little sister when she arrives.  Can he fetch a new diaper when one is required?  How about tummy time; can he be in charge of hanging out with her on the mat and showing her new toys to look at?  The more involved he feels in how the family works as a unit, the less alone and neglected he might feel when little sister needs attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-02-13T12:00:45.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2013-02-13T13:45:08.877" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my 22-month-old son, the complete opposite approach works best. If I take water in a pitcher and shout: &quot;Wooooo SPLASH!&quot; as I let it all fall on his head, he laughs and asks for more. If I try to do it slowly and patiently, he complains. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I find that adding sound effects to the activities he dislikes helps a lot (such as going &quot;bzzzz CLIP! bzzzz CLIP! bzzzz CLIP!&quot; when cutting his nails). It might be worth a try if you run out of patience :) Of course, back off immediately if it doesn't work. But in any case, you can try to make it into a game in some other way that she might enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-02-13T13:45:08.877" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7462" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7466" CreationDate="2013-02-13T16:28:53.850" Score="52" ViewCount="10233" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I had joked about expecting endless &quot;why?&quot; questions from our son while we were expecting, and I thought I was prepared for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I thought the stereotypical constant flow of &quot;why? why? why?&quot; would be trivial, since I enjoy explaining things.  I was confident that anything I couldn't explain, I could answer by &quot;let's look it up!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that my son has entered that phase, though, the reality is that there are lots of &quot;why?&quot; questions that completely flummox me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Why?&quot; has become a catch-all response in some situations, and I simply can't answer some of them (e.g. while trying to explain something by pointing out a previous example: &quot;remember when we went to the park?&quot; followed by &quot;why?&quot;).  Other times, it seems almost reflexive, and the answer seems fairly obvious to me (e.g. &quot;Do you want french toast or pancakes for breakfast?&quot; followed by &quot;why?&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to discourage his curiosity.  On the contrary: I want to answer as many of his questions as possible.  Is there a good strategy for dealing with the &quot;why?&quot; questions that simply don't make sense?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-06T12:25:33.187" LastActivityDate="2019-04-06T12:25:33.187" Title="How do you respond to a toddler who endlessly says &quot;why?&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|communication|teaching|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-02-13T16:42:24.400" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;I usually respond to endless 'why's with questions that focus on critical thinking.  &quot;Do you want french toast or pancakes for breakfast?&quot; &quot;Why?&quot; &quot;Well, which do you think would make your tummy happier?&quot; &quot;Why?&quot; &quot;We eat because we want happy bodies and happy tummies...&quot; and at least with my two, it eventually winds down. Or maybe my questions overload their little minds and they get temporarily choked on all the new ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds to me, though, that his &quot;why&quot;'s are really just &quot;more conversation please&quot; requests.  If he answers the french toast vs. pancakes question, then the conversation is over.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, if the conversation starts to delve into the truly odd, feel free to be silly.  &quot;Well, pancakes make your tummy want to sing &quot;twinkle twinkle little star&quot; and french toast makes your tummy sing &quot;modern major general&quot;. Which song do you think your tummy wants to sing?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-02-13T16:42:24.400" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-02-13T19:54:13.693" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although I have no personal experience with the 'why' phase yet, I imagine that the occasional: &quot;What do you think?&quot; thrown back at him would give you a few seconds to catch your breath. More importantly, it could give you a lot of insight into how your child perceives the world, and what type of answer from you would be meaningful for him. However, I don't think you can really stop the whys coming. When kids realize that things have causal relationships, they're obsessed with that knowledge for a while. And it takes them a while to understand causality completely, hence the unusual moments when he asks why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-02-13T19:54:13.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-02-13T20:19:12.477" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of it is curiosity, but kids also take a lot of pleasure in controlling their parents.  It's only fair, I guess.  After a certain point, they're just pushing their boundaries to see how far they can take it, and it becomes a game rather than a learning opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you recognize it has turned into a game, you can either play along or just say something like &quot;that's enough.&quot;  Just keep in mind he's not really expecting an intelligent answer to his nonsensical questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-02-13T20:19:12.477" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-02-13T22:00:58.580" Score="60" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm probably going to experience this situation pretty soon, too. One very interesting idea I've picked up a long time ago is &lt;strong&gt;not to accept a short &quot;why&quot; but encourage a full-sentence question.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Requiring a full sentence forces the child to actually think about the topic before asking.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;What is the topic? What do I want to know? How can I phrase that?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This is excellent training for thinking smartly about things later in life, and it clearly shows that &lt;em&gt;more effort in the input yields better results.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also has two immediate wins for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can easily dismiss a &quot;why&quot; if it's annoying you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making the &quot;why&quot; a little more difficult might make him dismiss the question &lt;em&gt;unless he really wants to know.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Your challenge&lt;/em&gt; is to be consistent about this... why should you get to choose when a short &quot;why&quot; is acceptable? If you're too lazy to enforce the full sentence, then you can't expect the effort on his part either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-02-13T22:00:58.580" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7467" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-14T13:14:48.707" Score="13" ViewCount="13479" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bathe my two weeks old baby boy every evening. Very often he will urinate as soon as he touch the water, obviously because of the temperature change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far I just ignored it, letting him pee into the water and hoping it's sterile enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What &lt;strong&gt;should&lt;/strong&gt; I be doing? I considered using a towel to absorb the urine but is it really necessary?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips and/or ideas are welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2015-05-30T15:45:51.823" LastActivityDate="2015-05-30T15:45:51.823" Title="How to handle my baby boy urinating in bath?" Tags="|newborn|hygiene|bathing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-02-14T13:31:51.070" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love the answers I've gotten so far, but I thought I might as well chime in and describe what I have been doing, since its a little... different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, I try to answer his questions as best I can... within reason.  Many of his questions I can answer fairly clearly, and do so (e.g. Q:&amp;quot;why [is the kitty afraid of me]?&amp;quot; A:&amp;quot;because you're much bigger than her, and you're loud!&amp;quot;, or Q:&amp;quot;why [can't I stand on the chair]?&amp;quot; A:&amp;quot;because we don't want you to fall down and get hurt!&amp;quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, for ones that require much more complicated answers that I don't know off the top of my head, are far too complicated for him to understand yet, or for which I simply don't have enough time to launch into a detailed exposition, I summarize it with one word.  To this end, I've developed some broad categories of one-word answers that cover almost any situation: &amp;quot;biology&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;genetics&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;physics&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;gravity&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;thermodynamics&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;special relativity&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;chemistry&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;economics&amp;quot;, and &amp;quot;tradition&amp;quot; are the most frequently used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do tend to play fast and loose with some of those (anything involving time gets lumped under &amp;quot;special relativity&amp;quot;, for example, even though the topics rarely involve objects in motion), and sometimes I pick one as a silly answer when the &amp;quot;why?&amp;quot; question seems particularly silly (e.g. &amp;quot;stop hitting yourself on the head with your sippy cup!&amp;quot; &amp;quot;why?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;gravity!&amp;quot;; and yes, that's an actual example :P).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We actually started this game with just one catch-all answer of &amp;quot;gravity&amp;quot;, which helped set the tone for it as a game, but I eventually decided that having a variety of answers/non-answers was more appropriate and useful.  My hope is that the diversity of one-word answers gives him some indication of how much variety there is out there, while also letting him know that I &lt;strong&gt;am&lt;/strong&gt; trying to provide information, but some of it is just too big to convey easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This gives me the option of either educating or dismissing, without seeming dismissive, on a case-by-case basis.  I do still, on occasion, say &amp;quot;I don't know&amp;quot; when appropriate, but if that is followed up with a &amp;quot;why?&amp;quot; then the answer is invariably &amp;quot;gravity&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is interesting to see how he reacts to it, as he definitely has favorites of the categories, and it leads to some pretty amusing conversations.  For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;She [our daycare provider] has a cold.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Son: &amp;quot;Why?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Biology.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Son: &amp;quot;No!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;No? Not biology?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Son: &amp;quot;No, daddy, not biology!  Thermonynamics!&amp;quot; (I think that was a pretty good attempt for 2 years old!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: (laughing) Thermodynamics?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Son: Yes.  Thermonynamics!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-02-14T13:31:51.070" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7467" CreationDate="2013-02-14T13:43:37.523" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you mentioned, it is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diuresis#Immersion_diuresis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;temperature change that causes urination&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What may work for you is this:&#xA;Immediately prior to the bath, get a warm washcloth.  Open his diaper, and clean his diaper area with the washcloth.  Be careful with this! If it works, he may start to urinate while you are cleaning him, so you must be ready to quickly put the diaper back into place!  Immediately replace the diaper.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After waiting a minute or two, transfer him to the bath.  With luck, he'll be done, and won't urinate during the actual bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A variation on this may work for babies who tend to urinate while their diapers are being changed: open the front of the diaper, let in the cool air, wait a minute, and be ready to immediately close the diaper back up if they start to urinate.  Once they're done, it should be safe to proceed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T19:35:06.477" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T19:35:06.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7358" CreationDate="2013-02-15T01:22:00.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree about the 5 S's, they were very helpful for us, but ultimately we found that our son had reflux problems as well as a problem with his breastfeeding mother having dairy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he was put on reflux medicine and my wife cut dairy out of her diet he was a different baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one month, it's probably too early to tell, but perhaps something worth keeping on the radar if it persists and comforting gestures don't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3915" LastActivityDate="2013-02-15T01:22:00.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7413" CreationDate="2013-02-15T01:26:24.617" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is chatspeak acceptable? Sure, it can be. Is it wise to use? Almost definitely not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Language isn't just how we communicate, it's how we think. Imagine a chef who can only describe food as &quot;gross&quot; or &quot;awesome.&quot; The chef won't just be poorly respected in communication, he is going to be held back at a level of mediocrity because he lacks the vocabulary to even think about what makes a particular dish desirable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you lack the ability to communicate with precision, you lose access to all types of thinking that require it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand the sentiment that it's just informal communication and isn't that important, but I think the point is still valid. Are you able to make a cogent and compelling argument in written form, or do you end every disagreement with &lt;code&gt;o wel thatz jus my opinion&lt;/code&gt;? Is your command of language sufficient to warrant peoples' respect of you? Are you able to tell what types of words have rhetorical effects? Advertisers depend on the idea that you can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, the main justification for it is that it's arguably easier to type, but this isn't a valid reason. Typing has been here and will be here for a long time and it's a skill that everyone needs to possess. With practice, you should be able to type about as quickly as you can think. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that she'll hopefully grow out of it, but the sooner the better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had any advice for what you can actually do about it, just write to her more often, and ask her things that require depth of thought. Prompt her to communicate with you on a level that can't be fully expressed without precision. It's a very non-confrontational way of encouraging to pursue thoughtful writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3915" LastEditorUserId="3915" LastEditDate="2013-02-15T14:31:52.833" LastActivityDate="2013-02-15T14:31:52.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7472" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7474" CreationDate="2013-02-15T09:31:18.657" Score="8" ViewCount="8640" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in a joint family with two of my uncles, and I have a very naughty five year old nephew who's a nuisance to the entire household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in a flat and my nephew throws stuff out of the window including important things like my sister's mobile phone, my grandmother's inhaler and bars of soap; and he does this deliberately in front of people to annoy them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He loves breaking pots and vases, bringing his cycle into the living room, and repeatedly pressing the doorbell at odd times of the day when everyone else is asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The worst part of it all is that my aunt never reprimands him. She has allowed him to become so mischievous by never punishing him. Yes, she does shout at him but that's all she does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's doing something he shouldn't be doing she never tries to stop him. She just follows him around shouting at him, and that makes no difference to him. He still does just what he wants to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This really gets on my nerves. Sometimes I really wish I could give him a tight slap to make him think twice before misbehaving, but his mother doesn't like that one bit. My father and my aunt had gotten into a really big fight once because he slapped my nephew for spitting in his face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try to stop him from misbehaving as much as possible. We never open the front door when he constantly rings, forcing his mother to open it. We try to put things on higher shelves so that he can't throw them away, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However he still continues misbehaving. When we try take away things he gets his hands on he runs away, shouts and cries till his mother comes. Then he kicks, bites, pulls peoples' hair and spits on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents, siblings, grandmother and my other cousins, aunt and uncle are all daggers against him. He's a spoiled brat who loves disrupting the household with a smile, and his mother is an absolutely careless parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What strategies may we employ to deal with such a naughty boy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3917" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-18T12:18:01.700" LastActivityDate="2019-06-18T12:18:01.700" Title="How to deal with a naughty 5-year-old nephew who is not being disciplined by his mother?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|violence|extended-family|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7472" CreationDate="2013-02-15T11:21:31.180" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;One, no slapping. Besides being very unpleasant it is counter-productive and will make the problem worse. The reason your nephew is misbehaving this way is because he gets attention. You have a problem because there's little you can do yourself, parenting must come from the mother and father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is he's getting lots of the wrong kind of attention and little of the right kind of attention. His behavior is a desperate cry for help, not a sign he's intrinsically a bad person. He needs someone to give him attention for doing the right things, not attention for doing the wrong things. Tell him what is expected of him, and let him live up to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start noticing things he does well, and right. Don't praise him too much, he'll want praise for every little thing he does right. Praise effort and really good results. Offer a reward for good behavior - &quot;if you're good all day I'll take you out for an ice cream&quot;, then then stick to it. If he isn't a good boy he gets nothing, if you cave in he'll know he can act however he wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate to take things away from kids as punishment, but in extreme cases it's necessary. If he throws someone's phone out the window he loses his favorite toy for 2 days. If he goes a day without being really naughty people note how pleasant it is to be with him. Above all, don't lose your temper, show patience!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do this on your own, but it would be more effective to get everyone to work with you on it. Good luck! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-02-15T11:21:31.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-02-15T17:09:08.793" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I usually encourage my child to ask a more specific question. My 4-year old asks &quot;Why?&quot;, to which I respond &quot;Do you mean 'what were our reasons for going to the park?' Or do you mean 'what is the connection between the two examples?'&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tell my children that I will try to answer any of their questions, but that &quot;Why?&quot; is not a question in and of itself. Encouraging them to ask more specific questions has opened up some very interesting dialogue. Getting them to think through the question they want to ask has really helped to enrich our dialogue, and I've gotten a lot of compliments from other parents who are amazed at how well they can converse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Requesting more specific questions also helps to ferret out the &quot;Why?&quot;'s that are used purely as a stall tactic, which also happens frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Why?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;&quot;Can you ask a more specific question?&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &quot;No... I just want to know why...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;&quot;Ok... when you think of a more specific question, I'll try to answer it.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &quot;Hmph&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3919" LastActivityDate="2013-02-15T17:09:08.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7477" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7499" CreationDate="2013-02-15T19:00:30.427" Score="6" ViewCount="1240" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3-year-old son noticed his mother's scar from the cesarean section and wondered what it was. We didn't really give him an answer but diverted his attention instead. Now we're talking about how should handle that question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On one hand, we don't want to tell him exactly what it is because we don't want him to think all babies are born that way (even though both our kids were). On the other hand, it's a reasonably natural thing - but he's too young to understand it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When's the right time to explain this?&lt;/strong&gt; I figure there'll be a point where we feel he's mentally ready to grasp the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What answers can we give until then?&lt;/strong&gt; We need to provide &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; when he asks because we don't want to avoid the topic as if it were a taboo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T21:30:55.907" Title="Explaining a c-section scar to a toddler" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|birth|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7477" CreationDate="2013-02-15T19:38:57.573" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter asked about my c-section scar, I told her that's the mark where the doctor removed her brother.  Then again, he spent a few weeks in NICU and she was nearly 3, so she was a bit more aware of what was going on.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She often asks for her baby story, and part of me telling her about her birth is when I tell her that Daddy cried when she was born, and Mawmaw cried, and Pawpaw cried, but Mama didn't cry 'cause I was so exhausted because having babies is hard work (she was not c-section).  She can understand at 4 that babies grow inside a mother and have to come out, and knows that her brother was born in a different way that left a mark, and that seems to be enough for her.  Mostly her concern has been whether it hurt then, or hurts now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Were I in your shoes, I'd just tell him it marks the spot where he and his sibling came out of mama, and leave it at that.  Let him guide you with what else he wants to know at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-02-15T19:38:57.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7480" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7481" CreationDate="2013-02-16T11:36:15.103" Score="5" ViewCount="7047" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3 year old son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever we go to sleep, he will start crying when we turn off the lights and insists that lights be turned on when he is trying to sleep. So, we keep it on. When he falls asleep, we turn it off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later in the night when he wakes up, he starts crying again that we have turn off the lights. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping the light on is really spoiling my and my wife's sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with such a kid?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW: We tried to show him some toys which shows light when turned on...while we kept the lights OFF for the room. This was successful for couple of days...after that he got bored and again we are back to &quot;keep lights on&quot; schedule :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastActivityDate="2017-06-18T13:36:33.730" Title="How to deal with my son who always wants to have lights on when we go to bed?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|behavior|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7480" CreationDate="2013-02-16T21:42:59.617" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son was the same. Have you tried using a night light? We started with one that was rather bright, but not so bad that it would ruin his sleep. Then after a while we moved to a smaller one, in the corner of his room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole process took weeks, and included rewards for nights spent with only the night light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3926" LastEditorUserId="3926" LastEditDate="2013-02-17T03:07:15.100" LastActivityDate="2013-02-17T03:07:15.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7480" CreationDate="2013-02-17T10:01:11.780" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our youngest wanted a light so we got a teddy bear that glows gently for ten minutes before fading out and turning itself off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was bright enough to keep her happy - she could cuddle it close, dim enough that it didn't disturb her sister, who was in the same room, and didn't require us to come and turn it off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she wakes in the night, a quick squeeze of the bear makes it glow again, so she has control of the light. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-02-26T08:06:08.143" LastActivityDate="2013-02-26T08:06:08.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7483" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-17T21:09:21.503" Score="2" ViewCount="6780" Body="&lt;p&gt;Has anyone dealt with this before? Our 22 month old daughter is put to bed at 10:30 pm everynight. She sleeps for about an hour and wakes up, crying.  Our best efforts to ignore her have not succeeded.  We usually succumb and take her out to the living room with us where we put her on the high chair, where within 15 minutes she falls asleep and we put her back to bed, this time until the morning. Why is she waking up an hour later? She has a full bottle before going to bed and doesn't need to go to the washroom when she wakes up (she's partially potty trained).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3930" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T22:07:32.767" Title="22 month old goes to bed and wakes up an hour later" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7484" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-17T21:29:33.727" Score="9" ViewCount="916" Body="&lt;p&gt;My family has never had much money, so I'm quite concerned about my sister's shopping habits. I assumed it was quite average behavior for a young girl to plead for money for the school book fair, the ice cream shop, makeup, etc., but she recently was given a dog-walking job by our neighbor and has starting spending every cent she makes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almost as soon as she's paid she'll bike over to the mall and start buying little trinkets and things. Sometimes she'll lie about how much money she has and beg our mother for some amount of money to buy something she &lt;em&gt;desperately&lt;/em&gt; needs. She does the same once she's spent all her money and there are often long circular arguments that end with our mom getting too stressed out to continue and just caving in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried talking to her as her older brother and explaining why she needs to save money, how she'll want things later that she'll need to save her money for now, and how it's unwise to be wasteful of any resource, especially one that for us is scarce. This didn't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried explaining to my mother that arguing for hours about the same thing and then just giving her money is counterproductive and that she needs to make a decision and then consistently follow through with it. This didn't work either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How normal is it for a preteen girl to spend money like this and to beg for that money when she doesn't have it? What can I do to stop it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3929" LastActivityDate="2013-02-20T01:49:25.300" Title="How to kick a twelve year old's shopping &quot;addiction&quot;?" Tags="|pre-teen|money|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7484" CreationDate="2013-02-17T23:41:36.453" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This, unfortunately, appears to be completely normal. Every generation seems to do just the same. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is incredibly valuable to teach kids the value of saving money and not squandering it on worthless purchases, but it is very difficult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One technique we use to encourage saving is to agree to top up a percentage of the amount saved when our kids manage to save for something big. At that age they can appreciate that the more they save the more they get from us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another is to only give them a small amount of pocket money-if they want more they have to do chores and jobs round the house. They get nothing just for asking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-02-17T23:41:36.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7484" CreationDate="2013-02-18T02:04:15.983" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that it's typical of many young girls. The approach in our house is that the kids must put 20% of the money they receive in a bank account, and they're allowed to use the rest however they want. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One option would be to suggest to your mother that she gives your sister an allowance each week (which could be increased with chores), and to request that she puts a certain amount in a bank account. She can spend the rest, but once the money is gone, then that's it for the week. And your mother has to be strict on this. This way your sister will learn the value of money, and may be more careful how she spends it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3926" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T02:04:15.983" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7483" CreationDate="2013-02-18T03:59:42.710" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not knowing your daughter's schedule it's difficult to say if this is the answer, but 10:30 p.m. seems a little late for a not quite 2-year-old bedtime.  I don't know, maybe that works for your family, but sometimes children who are overly tired will suffer from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/night-wakings.html&quot;&gt;less-restful&lt;/a&gt; sleep than their more well-rested counterparts and have more night-wakings.  It seems counter-intuitive:  a child who is exhausted &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt;, hypothetically, go to bed and sleep like the dead, but this doesn't seem to always be the case.  Or it could be that her nap(s) during the day are not sufficient to accommodate the late bedtime.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other factors that might contribute to her waking when she does:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there something that happens environmentally every night around the time she wakes up?  Does the neighbor come home from work, for example?  Or let the dog out to use the bathroom?  Some quiet white noise might help cover these noises up and allow her to sleep through whatever the disturbance is.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you following a consistent pre-bedtime routine, or is she just so tired by the time you put her to bed that she just passes out?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is she sleeping too long in the daytime?  It doesn't &lt;em&gt;sound&lt;/em&gt; like it since she falls right back to sleep after she wakes up, but I'm just throwing it out there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there something in the room that might be waking her?  A TV?  Music?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; just have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/night-wakings.html&quot;&gt;habitual waking habit&lt;/a&gt;.  I thought it sounded strange, too, but my sister-in-law mentioned that her pediatrician suggested it to her once for her daughter who was doing something similar.  The link above mentions several methods to try to break your child of the habit, but it seems like you've all ready tried several of them to no avail.  You could try the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/02/wake-to-sleep.html&quot;&gt;Wake to Sleep&lt;/a&gt; approach.  My sister-in-law tried it with her daughter and it worked once or twice (there were other issues which were &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; what was causing my niece's wakings, it wasn't habitual like my SIL initially thought).  Anyway, basically the approach involves knowing approximately when your child is going to wake up and going in to his/her room and &lt;em&gt;partially&lt;/em&gt; waking your child before they come fully out of their sleep cycle.  There is a lot of trial and error involved in this (some kids are just easier to rouse than others), but it might be worth a shot if nothing else is working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T03:59:42.710" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7488" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7489" CreationDate="2013-02-18T09:49:36.543" Score="2" ViewCount="3227" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5 year old one is always picking at his scabs, leading to him reopening and even enlarging small wounds and scratches at least daily. This delays the time for them to heal by a good amount and I am afraid that it might be lead to scarring and/or infections (the newest one is on his cheek). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously we tried band-aids but he pulls them off as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried both explaining and scolding but it hasn't helped much so far. One problem is that when I didn't see him do it, the scolding comes too late after the fact and he does not seem to understand why he is being scolded. He also does it in his sleep and scolding him for that would be quite unfair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have experience with this and can either give a suggestion how to explain it to him or has an alternative to band-aids which can't be pulled off?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3931" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T13:36:54.407" Title="2.5 year old always picks at scabs" Tags="|toddler|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7488" CreationDate="2013-02-18T13:36:54.407" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's scratching them in his sleep then it must be painful or uncomfortable. Asking a 2 year old not to touch something that itches is not worth it, they don't have the self-control. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try treating the wounds with an anesthetic salve, it will deaden the itch. Ask a pharmacist to recommend one that's OK for kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T13:36:54.407" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4792" CreationDate="2013-02-18T15:46:27.623" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think that this is traumatic at all.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had to do same with my 19 month old after she moved to a toddler bed (she was climbing out of her cot and it was dangerous so we moved to the bed).  The Stay in bed technique just didn't work and I followed it religiously.  As I understand it that is recommended for children over 3 years old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I invented my own technique.  We did our normal bed time routine then I put her in her bed gave her a pat and left the room firmly closing the door behind me.  When she got up (and howled at the door trying to get it open) I went back and put her back in the bed once and told her it was bed time and the door would stay closed until morning as she needed to sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she got up again I repeated this.  I then left 5 mins the next time, 10 mins the time after that then 20 mins before returning and putting her back into bed. I could hear the tantrum in her screams and as she was warm, well fed, well watered, clean and tired so I kept at it.  After 45 mins total the first night she got back into bed herself and went to sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took less time the second night and less still the third night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used the same approach at naptime and that was far easier.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I put her to bed and close the door and she stays in her room and makes no attempt to leave.  At bedtime she drops off quietly in about 5 or 10 minutes.  I then open her door a crack when I go to bed so she can get out in the morning (which she does every morning and comes into my room about 7am to find me :)  ).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At naptime she used to go off to sleep pretty quick but is starting not to need a nap so much now.  If she is not tired enough to sleep she will mess with her books / empty her drawers and generally be a pickle but she is content doing it and stays in her room for her hour nap time.  I then go in and let her out after nap time is over (obviously if she was to get upset I'd go to her - it isn't prison; just wind-down time!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She seems the same happy and contented toddler she always was.  She can now talk and I am sure if she was very unhappy about things she'd let me know. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3932" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-02-21T14:49:38.700" LastActivityDate="2013-02-21T14:49:38.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7410" CreationDate="2013-02-18T15:51:26.790" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say if your toddler is not upset or calling for you then let them get on with it and go enjoy your evening!  El often plays for a while in her room (particularly at naptime) if she isn't tired enough to sleep.  You could try making bedtime 30mins later and see if that helps but standing in the room interacting with a child who otherwise would happily stay alone and eventually drop off sounds like a bad idea to me.  You may end up teaching her she needs you in the room to drop off and you'll end up with a new issue.  Mine sings &quot;twinkle twinkle little star&quot; to herself at bedtime after I have gone!   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3932" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T15:51:26.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7314" CreationDate="2013-02-18T16:18:31.863" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly if you want to keep opportunities for toddler injury low then you need to babyproof.  Put covers on your sockets, lock away chemicals and drugs, keep small objects out of reach, put hot drinks up high, put gates on stairs.  Obviously this cannot stop 100% of opportunities for injury but if you can make your environment as safe as reasonably possible you will spend far less time saying &quot;No.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly decide on your rules and consequences and stick to them.  Obviously anything that may injure your child is a big no.  However you may want a couple of other standard rules that you intend to enforce.  In our house it was &quot;no playing with the bin.&quot;  Remember your child is 1 so keep your number of rules low and simple and your expectations low also!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sensible consequences for a 1 year old who breaks the rules is to be told calmly but firmly &quot;No&quot; or &quot;Hot&quot; or &quot;Hurt&quot;.  Then remove the object or remove the child from the situation.  Distract them with something else and move on with your day.  You'll need to repeat yourself a lot at first but they will come to respond to the firm tone of voice and to understand what activities are not allowed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now 2 and the consequences remain the same.  I get down to her level and say a firm but calm no.  These days I then offer a few words of explanation - e.g. &quot;No.  Don't touch mummies coffee it is hot and you will hurt yourself.&quot;  Then we move on.  She is a well behaved little girl who doesn't mess with the bin, knows drinks are hot and leaves them alone, knows that pennies are &quot;not for eating&quot; and has yet to cause herself any permanent damage.  She also knows that no means no but is never scared of consequences.&#xA;I have to agree with posters above that physically hurting or scaring your child is unnecessary and rather unpleasant.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3932" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T16:18:31.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7493" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7500" CreationDate="2013-02-18T17:03:07.380" Score="18" ViewCount="2794" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year old son, like many boys his age, is obsessed with video games. We try to have a rule at our house where he's allowed to play certain games that are appropriate to his age, for only a specific period. During the week, if he's done his homework and has behaved well in school, then he's allowed 30 minutes. During the week-end, it's 2 hours/day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been working well for us (even if he complains at times). However, he recently made a new friend who's also into video games, but the rules at his house are obviously very different. There doesn't seem to be any limit of &quot;screen&quot; time, and he's also allowed to play games with a rating of M (!). We think this is unacceptable and have told the boy's parents that our son is not allowed to play certain games at their house. They are quite fine with that, but somehow our son still gets exposed to games that we don't agree with (either because the friend talks about them at school, or will show the games while his parents are not watching, or the parents think that this is a mild game, and we disagree). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there has been a lot of fighting in our house about us being unfair, about how these games are fine and we don't understand, etc., etc. The problem is that this kid's parents are very nice people, we like them, and we really like the little boy, so we don't want to end the friendship. In general they have values that are very similar to ours; this is the only area where we disagree. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And thus my question: How can I explain to my son that we disagree with these rules without giving him the impression that we think his friend's parents are bad? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3926" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T22:04:18.577" Title="How to handle different rules about video games at friend's house?" Tags="|video-games|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7494" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7498" CreationDate="2013-02-18T18:12:30.793" Score="5" ViewCount="182" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think being responsible for a pet is a tremendous opportunity for educational, social, and emotional growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also a big step, and not one to be taken lightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you determine if a child is ready to be responsible for the well-being of a living creature?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T20:25:59.047" Title="How do you determine if a child is ready for a pet?" Tags="|pets|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7494" CreationDate="2013-02-18T18:17:08.040" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess it depends on the type of animal and the child's age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First determine what kind of involvement you would expect from the child: feed the pet daily? Clean the litter? Walk the animal? And then try to give the child a responsibility with the same type of involvement. For example, if you expect the child to feed the animal daily, then have the child perform a daily task. This will give you a good indication as to whether the child can handle the responsibilities that come with having a pet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also discuss with the child how they would like to be involved with the animal, and what the child is willing to commit to. If children feel they are involved in the decision, they may put their heart into it more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3926" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T18:17:08.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7496" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7497" CreationDate="2013-02-18T18:35:24.157" Score="4" ViewCount="447" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am wondering when baby teeth begin falling out. I realize this varies from person to person but there has to be a general rule of thumb as to when it normally begins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T19:57:27.673" Title="When do baby teeth start falling out?" Tags="|teeth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7496" CreationDate="2013-02-18T19:57:27.673" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually around age 6, but this varies a lot per children. According to this article from the Baby Center (often very helfup and reliable website), it can vary between age 4 and 7:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_losing-baby-teeth-what-to-expect-and-when_3658971.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_losing-baby-teeth-what-to-expect-and-when_3658971.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3926" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T19:57:27.673" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7494" CreationDate="2013-02-18T20:25:59.047" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kids were born with cats already in the house, which has made it straightforward for us, but what we did was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;let them cuddle the cats from a very early age - 6 or 7 months&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;start to let them put out a food or water bowl (from 2 or 3 years old)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;brushing the cat's fur from about 3 years old with supervision (just so they weren't too rough)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;let the cat in in the morning (ie unlocking the door and putting a food bowl out) from 5 years old&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;change the litter tray from 9 or 10&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a friend with two extremely large labradors, and my youngest at 6 is an excellent dog walker; much more confident than the elder two, which means the dogs behave really well for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T20:25:59.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7477" CreationDate="2013-02-18T21:30:55.907" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know the scar is about a birth, but your little one doesn't. Children ask about scars, birthmarks and such all the time. Mine have never really wanted the whole entire details all at once. They indicate their interest by continuing the conversation after your first simple answer. Imagine if it was from your appendectomy or from a burn you got when you were a teen. How much detail would you include in the first sentence of your answer? I would answer that &quot;it's a scar from an operation.&quot; Having an operation is really fairly normal. If you've never discussed surgery before, you can go on &quot;the doctors gave me something so it wouldn't hurt, cut my skin so they could get to my insides, and fixed something, then sewed the cut back up.&quot; That's almost certainly what the question is about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might get a followon question: &quot;were you sick?&quot; and you could answer &quot;not exactly. But I needed some help from the doctors to make things right.&quot; Or you could end that &quot;to get you out&quot; (or your brother or whatever). But I wouldn't start with that. It's not what you're being asked. This is someone who's still working on what's a scar and how do you get them. Far more likely followons are &quot;did it hurt?&quot; &quot;did you bleed a lot?&quot; &quot;were you scared?&quot; and so on. A three-year old will have plenty of questions and doesn't need the whole answer all at once. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T21:30:55.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7493" CreationDate="2013-02-18T22:04:18.577" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is he upset because his friend has a different set of rules, or is he upset because he's not allowed to play these video games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, your son is able to understand that different households have different rules.  I would approach it from the standpoint of, &quot;We love Johnny and we love Johnny's parents, but we have different rules in this house than Johnny has at his house.&quot;  End of story.  Then, invite Johnny and his parents over for dinner so that your son can &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; that two households don't have to be identical to be friendly with each other.  He doesn't have to &lt;em&gt;like&lt;/em&gt; the fact that the rules at your house aren't the same as the rules at Johnny's house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't all ready done so, it might be a good time to sit down with him and explain to him &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; what it is about these games that you find so inappropriate.  But the issue is really a two-fold one:  he doesn't like your rules, and he doesn't really understand why he can't play these particular games.  If you feel like the games undermine your particular value system, then you can tell him exactly why.  It will also give you the opportunity to reinforce that you don't believe that Johnny's parents are bad because they let Johnny play these games.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-02-18T22:04:18.577" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7501" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-19T11:05:07.513" Score="3" ViewCount="521" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1.5-year-old daughter had good constant sleep and eating patterns, until she became ill. During the illness, her sleep and eating patterns changed a lot (and this is normal). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But after recovering, she is still in the same sleep and eating patterns as during the illness. She wakes many times at night, refuses to eat, wants to be held all the time, etc. Just like she turned into 3-month-old infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I go through the whole cycle again (train her as if she is younger), or there is some 'magic' switch to return to her normal state?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1485" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-07T19:37:49.137" LastActivityDate="2018-05-07T19:37:49.137" Title="My toddler recovered from an illness but still behaves like an infant. What shall I do?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|eating|bedtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7501" CreationDate="2013-02-19T17:45:54.037" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there is a magic switch, I never found it! I observed the same pattern in both my children (in my son in particular, who was not an easy sleeper). A change of behaviour also happened whenever there was a change of routine (for example, when we came back from vacation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would use the sleep training techniques again, but I have found that it got easier and easier with time. So while it wasn't a magic solution, it was not as difficult as when they were infants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! It's always a difficult period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3926" LastActivityDate="2013-02-19T17:45:54.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-02-19T19:48:40.493" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I'm in my spouse's company, I just re-ask her the same question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid sometimes listens, sometimes forgets about the question and sometimes notices that my attention moves away from her and interrupts into the dialog with her own explanation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It looks like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daughter: &amp;quot;Dad, why the sun rises late in the winter&amp;quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;That's a good question, dear! Let me ask mom. Mom, why the sun rises late in the winter&amp;quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom: &amp;quot;Well, it's because the Earth's axis is inclined … (and so on)&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daughter, after 2 minutes: &amp;quot;No! It's because it's cold in the winter and the sun doesn't want to get out of bed into the cold!&amp;quot; (or whatever).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we are alone and whys keep coming on a rate above appropriate, I pretend (or sometimes don't even pretend) to call the spouse and do the same routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid sees that I actually try to answer the question but knows that if she asks questions too often she will lose my attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-02-19T19:48:40.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7484" CreationDate="2013-02-20T01:49:25.300" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you should recognize that since you are older, you have learned lessons that your sister has not.  She is on her own learning path.  However, you should also realize that many lessons are learned through personal experience rather than taking someone else's advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your sister has earned this money, it is hers to spend as she wishes.  (It is rare nowadays for a minor to be expected to contribute financially to a family.)  If she has not previously been given much money, this may be an exciting new feeling for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, it is this very experience which will give her her own lessons.  After a few months (or years) she may realize that she has earned money but has nothing significant to show for it.  She may realize that you have more money saved and that it is due to your saving habits.  Or perhaps she will learn the opposite lesson, that these small things (which have no value to you) are an inexpensive way to make herself happier.  As long as she is not using debt to buy them, that is fine too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, it is better that if she is going to make mistakes and learn from them, that she do it with a few hundred dollars while she is a teen than with thousands of dollars of debt when she is older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do agree, however, that the amount of money she gets from the family should be a fixed amount that she has to manage.  Having the possibility of always getting more money by just begging a little harder will not prepare her for the world outside your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3616" LastActivityDate="2013-02-20T01:49:25.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7467" CreationDate="2013-02-20T03:02:54.947" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's worked well for us is to put our child into the bath while it's still empty, and let the water run for a minute or so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way they'll feel the water, and if they need to go, it'll be while the plug is still out.  Then you can rinse out the tub and start the bath without worrying about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2013-02-20T03:02:54.947" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7506" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7508" CreationDate="2013-02-20T11:21:53.253" Score="10" ViewCount="25622" Body="&lt;p&gt;my daughter is 21 months old and at present behaves in a curious way. I don't think this question is a duplicate of others with similar titles.&#xA;During the day she's a sweetheart, no problems at all. We used to have no problems during the night at all, she started sleeping all night long when she was around 1 month old....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately this has changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At bed time, now, problems begin. There's a distinction: if her mother, my wife, goes to put her to sleep, the following behaviour is observed:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she doesn't want to go into her bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if she does, she starts calling &quot;mom&quot; and &quot;dad&quot; (which is of course kind of cute)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in her bed she starts crying, screaming and kicking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;until the point in which either me or my wife go and pick her up (which is fine, I don't mind). If I go, in some time (sometimes even minutes) she will calm down, and finally she'll fall asleep. If my wife goes, the whole story begins again.&#xA;We have asked my mother-in-law to try to put her to sleep, and, as with me, everything goes smooth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few hours of sleep, usually around 5.30-6.00 am she wakes up and starts calling for mom. What happens then is that my wife brings her in our bed, where my daughter will start moving, calling, playing, screaming and eventually crying for an hour or 1.5 hours, and then  she'll go back to sleep in either our bed or her bed, this doesn't change much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both at bed time and when she wakes up at 6.00 am she has warm milk, which she absolutely loves. We haven't tried to take that away, but I don't think that's the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do have a few ideas on my own, but I would like to see what others have to put in, before commenting (since I don't want to influence anyone).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3939" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-02-20T14:17:48.647" LastActivityDate="2016-01-25T14:40:41.610" Title="Why won't my toddler sleep when her mother tries to put her in bed?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7506" CreationDate="2013-02-20T12:00:59.220" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents told me that when I was a baby a started to cry an call everyone when I woke up and when I was supposed to go to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then one day they just put me on the balcony to sleep, and didn't come to me. So I cried for a couple of hours and eventually fell to sleep. Next day I cried less, and after a few days I stopped at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the reason is that your daughter really likes her mother and you off course. And she found out that by calling you she can have more attention whenever she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3783" LastActivityDate="2013-02-20T12:00:59.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7506" CreationDate="2013-02-20T14:26:00.410" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you ever bring her to your bed, or is that only your wife who does that?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If its only your wife, that may be the problem right there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers generally like the idea of sleeping with mommy and daddy.  The fact that your wife will occasionally bring her to your bed in the mornings may indicate to your daughter that your wife is the one that she has to convince.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I think the only options you have may be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You put your daughter to bed, and not your wife; or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have your wife stop bringing your daughter to bed in the mornings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may help in the mornings if you simply get up when your daughter does, and then do something necessary, but not necessarily fun, first thing (brush teeth, clean room, etc.).  This eliminates the attraction of convincing your wife that she needs to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed, and may make it easier to start saying &quot;why don't you go back to sleep for a bit?&quot; on mornings where she wakes up very early, without having to resort to bringing her to your bed and having her thrash around and keep you from sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-02-20T14:26:00.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-02-21T02:26:32.223" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I came across a very interesting &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.insoliscience.fr/?Pourquoi-les-enfants-demandent&quot;&gt;study on the topic&lt;/a&gt; a while ago, when my youngest was still at this age, and I managed to find it again. Unfortunately it's in French, but I'll summarize it here.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, the article says that kids ask questions because they really want to find out. They want explanations. But the key is to give them exactly the amount of information that they are able to handle, which is more an art than science :) They will keep asking again and again if they haven't received an answer that satisfies them. And the study showed that, very often, we seem to provide more information than what they are looking for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there doesn't seem to be a single, perfect method to handle yes questions, or at least the experts haven't figured it out yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what I took from this is that it's very important to keep answering. I think you are handling this perfectly well. And maybe your son is right, maybe the right answer is Thermodynamics :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3926" LastActivityDate="2013-02-21T02:26:32.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7483" CreationDate="2013-02-21T12:48:08.757" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;How long have you tried ignoring her for? It does take a while and it is stressful, but worth keeping at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as they're warm, fed and haven't done anything in their nappy/diaper then there isn't much more you can do for them. Love and attention is what they're after, but it isn't time for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing we did, was to go up to the room whenever the crying got unbearable, lay her down, put covers on and left the room, all without speaking or acknowledging anything. They soon get bored and realise that &quot;all of this crying isn't going to get me to where Mum &amp;amp; Dad are&quot;. You have to be persistent and almost switch-off, as it can be distressing to see your child sob so much. At least she'll know that she isn't the one in charge, as this can lead to other mischief!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and we've all been there :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3945" LastActivityDate="2013-02-21T12:48:08.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7512" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-21T16:58:00.383" Score="2" ViewCount="465" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old son is in daycare with several other boys.  He seems to spend the most time with the two boys who are closest in age to him (and who are also the most consistent in attending).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of these two boys (the one closest in age to my son, being only one month younger, who we'll call &quot;Joe&quot;) is clearly very attached to my son.  He gets extremely excited when my son arrives, and sometimes gets very upset when my son has to leave.  The moment we walk in the door, he runs over to greet us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which is actually part of the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Joe has some developmental delays (he was several months premature, and is still completely non-verbal), and has some trouble understanding social boundaries (perhaps even more so than is normal for a two-year-old).  As a result, he tends to immediately run up to my son, get right in front of him before we can even get my son's coat off, and starts reaching for whatever toys my son has brought with him for the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son picked up the concept of sharing fairly well maybe 6 months ago or more.  Joe is still working on the concept, although he's very much improved over the past couple of weeks/months.  Most days he starts off by handing my son whatever toy he's brought with, and only &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; reaching for what my son may be holding.  Usually my son will share his toys in return, although he always shows a preference for the older boy who isn't nearly as pushy (if my son brings 3-4 toys, he'll give the older boy several, and give Joe only one, and only after sharing with the older boy first).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this sounds well enough; however, my son has pretty clearly demonstrated that he doesn't like Joe's behavior at times (which is fair enough).  The problem stems from how my son expresses that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a while, my son would respond to Joe running over to greet him with &quot;No!  Go away, Joe!&quot;, while holding up a hand, palm facing Joe's face.  I told him repeatedly that that wasn't very nice, and explained that while I know he doesn't like that Joe is so pushy, all he has to do is say &quot;wait, Joe, wait!&quot;.  That, coupled with the daycare provider consistently telling both other boys to give my son some room when he comes in, seemed to have helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I have noticed that my son frequently isn't very nice to Joe.  Sometimes he'll yell &quot;No, Joe!&quot; and point angrily at Joe.  Sometimes I'll see him sharing with the other boy, but refusing to share with Joe.  Most recently, I saw him put his face right in front of Joe's and growl loudly at him (!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of this seems to deter Joe, or even upset him, but it bothers me.  I understand that Joe doesn't respect boundaries as much as my son would like, and I think it is appropriate that my son stand up for himself, but I feel there may be more constructive ways to express it, even at his age (my son has a pretty good grasp of language for his age, and regularly uses fairly complex sentences; sometimes he will use sentences of a dozen words or more).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is, I'm pretty sure my son &lt;em&gt;likes&lt;/em&gt; Joe.  Almost every day when we ask him what he did that day, he says he played with Joe.  He almost never mentions the other boys, and when we ask him if he had a good time playing with Joe, the answer is almost always an enthusiastic &quot;yeah!&quot;.  Of course, this is frequently followed up by complaints about Joe &quot;taking his toys&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The daycare provider has told me several times that the problems we see in the morning almost always resolve themselves within a few minutes, and they (all three) seem to get along very well throughout the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it possible to get my son to be nicer (no yelling/growling/comments like &quot;go away!, etc.)?  How?  &lt;em&gt;Should&lt;/em&gt; I be looking to fix this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T21:54:16.997" Title="Can you get a toddler to be nice to his friends?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7512" CreationDate="2013-02-21T18:51:22.430" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a tough one. In a way, I think your son's behavior is very normal. He may like Joe very much, but he probably feels attacked by Joe's intense approach in the mornings (and who wouldn't be?). As adults, we are able to understand that while Joe's behavior is not appropriate, he's acting like this because he hasn't been able yet to learn appropriate responses in social situations. But your son is only two. He's old enough to realize that he doesn't like being approached like this in the mornings, but not old enough yet to understand that Joe only means well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is good about your son't behavior is that he's able to stand up for himself. I think the best you can do at this point is to keep explaining to your son that while it's okay not to like being approached like this, the best answer is to say &quot;wait, Joe&quot;. With time, he will understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3926" LastActivityDate="2013-02-21T18:51:22.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7515" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-22T02:29:49.977" Score="9" ViewCount="4514" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4.5 yo boy why has recently started school (prep). He seems to be always tired, even when on summer holidays last month. He is often yawning, becomes visibly tired after just a few minutes of running around and generally has to be woken up in the morning for school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short background:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is on iron and vitimin D suppliments as he was found lacking in a blood test a month ago. He gets plently of sunlight but it is now summer in Melbourne so usually wears sub block.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He had his adenoids and tonsils removed 6 months ago when they were found to be causing sleep apnea.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He generally is in bed by 8:00PM and up at 7:15AM.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We go to the park every day for play and swim at least twice a week&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He eats well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is alergic to peanuts but clear for everything else&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts? I have heard that gluten intolerance can cause issues but know no more about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Follow-up:&#xA;We believe we tracked down a major cause of his tiredness to one of the medications that he was on. He was prescribed Nasonex for a few months. When we ran out, he seemed to have more energy. It turns out that one of the (rare) side effects of this medication is tiredness. A while later, we tried another steriod and it had a similar effect.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T15:48:22.093" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T19:15:52.217" Title="Why is my child always tired?" Tags="|primary-schooler|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7512" CreationDate="2013-02-22T05:32:35.647" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a word, no.  Two-year-olds don't have &quot;friends&quot; in any rational sense of the word, and only a dim grasp of what being &quot;nice&quot; even means.  In fact, your son is already being comparatively nice, since many kids his age would resort to violence if somebody tries to take their toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But two-year-olds are very good at observing, imitating and getting what they want, so odds are that &lt;em&gt;without you doing anything at all&lt;/em&gt;, your son will figure out what works best in getting Joe to back off a bit, and Joe will figure out that he'll get more what he wants (toys) faster if he doesn't get into your son's face.  Remember, as a parent your job is not to solve your kids' problems, it's to get them into a position where they can solve them by themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2013-02-22T05:32:35.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7517" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7519" CreationDate="2013-02-22T07:56:14.627" Score="11" ViewCount="172538" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 months baby fell from the bed yesterday on her back. I couldn't notice how she fell but we heard a sound and we ran to her only to find here lying on her back crying. The height of the bed is about 50 inch from the floor. She seems to be OK now playing but still I am very scared whether she might have internal injury. How to know whether she had any injury at home ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T00:33:03.453" Title="My baby fell from the bed. Is there any problem?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3778" CreationDate="2013-02-22T08:11:51.997" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why should he have to share with Elmo anyway? In his little play world, your son is president, king and dictator for life. Bossing his toys about provides a useful outlet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;--- EDIT ---&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In response to this comment and downvote:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think this is a constructive answer. Can you expand further to explain why you think this is a useful learning premise? An outlet for what?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't think this is a useful learning premise. This isn't about childhood learning. This is about a child being allowed to play with a TOY. Not everything has to have useful learning as an aim. Kids should be allowed to have fun, and a kid playing on their own, with their own toys should be allowed to boss them about a bit, if the kid wants to. Now oviously, if they start pulling limbs off or disfiguring them then that should be stopped, but let a child have some fun with their toy without instantly judging them, for Heaven's sake!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As to an outlet, an outlet from having to do what you are told all the time, and from constantly being told what to do. Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't tell our kids what to do, far from it. I am saying that they should also be provided with a means where they can play at being in charge too. In the child's play world with Elmo, he is the boss.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastEditorUserId="3954" LastEditDate="2013-02-22T10:57:15.770" LastActivityDate="2013-02-22T10:57:15.770" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7517" CreationDate="2013-02-22T08:40:45.323" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, if you're really worried for any reason or even have a shadow of a doubt take her to a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally babies and toddlers aren't injured in falls as they have softer bones and don't tend to tense up while falling until they've experienced the pain of a few falls. Unless your baby is showing pain or a side effect from the fall such a losing consciousness, it's unlikely you have anything to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have five children and you tend to become more relaxed and less worried unless you can see something is wrong or unusual (such as refusing food for more than 2 normal feeds) with the baby after a fall or bump. Babies and toddlers are extremely resilient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a good page about falls including warning signs to look out for: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_falls_397.bc&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_falls_397.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call 911 if your child experiences any of the following after a fall:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A loss of consciousness. If your child isn't breathing, have someone call 911 while you administer infant cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) (if your child is younger than 12 months) or cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) (if your child is 12 months or older) until help arrives. If you're alone, give your child CPR for two minutes, then call 911 yourself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bleeding that you're unable to stop with pressure. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A seizure. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your child is breathing but not responsive — he's unconscious after the fall or you're unable to wake him up after he goes to sleep, for example. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take your child to the emergency room or talk to his doctor immediately if you notice any of the following: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Signs of a broken bone, including an obvious deformity, like a wrist that's bent awkwardly, or an arm or a leg that seems out of alignment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Signs of a possible skull fracture: A soft, swollen area on the scalp, especially on the side of the head (above or behind the ear); blood showing in the whites of his eyes; or pinkish fluid or blood draining from his nose or ears&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Signs of a concussion, such as persistent vomiting or excessive sleepiness. Depending on your child's age, look for a change in how he crawls or walks; headache or dizziness; weakness or confusion; or problems with speech, vision, or motor skills&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Signs of a possible brain injury, such as changes in pupil size and unusual eye movements&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prolonged crying or screaming, which could indicate a possible internal injury such as abdominal bleeding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3955" LastEditorUserId="3955" LastEditDate="2013-02-23T10:29:36.907" LastActivityDate="2013-02-23T10:29:36.907" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7517" CreationDate="2013-02-22T08:42:54.443" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually babies as more resistant to all kind of injuries as their bones are more flexible and less fragile than the adult ones. Also they regenerate faster as they are still developing and have a really young tissues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it's still better to go to doctor. You'll lose couple of hours but will be sure that everything is fine&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3783" LastActivityDate="2013-02-22T08:42:54.443" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7515" CreationDate="2013-02-22T10:33:14.357" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your pediatrician has eliminated any remaining physical issues after the apnea, and his blood work is clear (I know it usually takes a few weeks for levels to get back to normal in most cases), then a gluten allergy was my next guess too.  It's easy enough to find out: cut out the gluten for 2-3 weeks, and see if you can tell (and if he reports) a difference.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bonus: gluten-free diets can be healthier than the usual diet, since one easy way to go gluten-free is to amp up the fresh fruit &amp;amp; veg.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and let us know how he does!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-02-22T10:33:14.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6653" CreationDate="2013-02-22T12:54:59.727" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even the perception of what is a &lt;em&gt;nightmare&lt;/em&gt; is different for children. Some infant I knew was waking up for some consecutive nights because &quot;there was a turtle in her bed&quot;, and that turtle was &quot;using some of her space, and turtles shouldn't be in my bed&quot;. And even being able to explain this after few nights, when she was dreaming and... bored about the turtle, she preferred to scream or cry. Specially because dreams (and nightmares) aren't always a complete package, many times you can only find them to be logical after trying to explain it to someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok, so imagine that to a child. Reality and dreams are completely mixed, and he/she doesn't even know how to rationalize about it... I would cry, too :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that might help is investigating and perhaps changing something in his/her environment: does he sleeps in the crib, or in a different room, so that when he wakes up he's lost? Is the room completely dark or there is some light to help him seeing where he is? Is there some strange shadows, caused by the light?  Has something changed recently, like a new toy, that is too exciting, that could always appear in his dreams ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2013-02-22T12:54:59.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7523" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7524" CreationDate="2013-02-22T15:09:39.767" Score="6" ViewCount="554" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old son seems to be fascinated by the behavior problems of other children.  He will tell anyone and everyone around that such-and-such was bad, and if he sees another child having a temper tantrum, it's almost impossible to put a stop to the &quot;what's wrong with him?&quot; questions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand his need to understand the behavior of his peers, and that this is no doubt influenced by the fact that he is still learning about what is and is not acceptable behavior, and the best way for him to do so is to observe the behavior of others.  However, it can be awkward and embarrassing when my son is loudly demanding explanations for other kids' (or parents'!) behavior. Worse, though, is when he goes around repeating everything &quot;bad&quot; other kids have done, including behavior from hours earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best approach to dealing with this?  Will it sort itself out on its own, or is there something I should be doing to keep his observations a little more private?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-03-02T07:57:44.593" Title="How do you curb &quot;tattletale&quot; behavior in a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7523" CreationDate="2013-02-22T22:31:04.317" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The mantra I always used with my children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are you telling me to get [subject of tattle] out of trouble, or into trouble?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Letting me know that someone is doing something they need rescuing from is welcome; letting me know that someone is doing something they need a timeout for, not so much. And telling me about a misbehaviour that has already been dealt with by whoever is there to deal with it, even less. I don't mean the problem has to be huge. &quot;Jimmy has juice on the carpet!&quot; can prevent the trouble that will follow a spill if I can pop over to the carpet and pick up either Jimmy or the juice and get them back somewhere that juice is allowed. Telling me mitigated things. But once it has spilled, or if it spilled this morning and someone else already cleaned it up and dealt with it? You're just flat out tattling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, in a really small child, there's another reason for telling you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;X had a tantrum today. That's not good, is it? How would you react if I had a tantrum? How should I react when a tantrum happens near me? They're scary. But not unbearably awful, right? And you can help me learn to control myself, right? And you'll love me even if I'm bad, right? But I should still try not to be bad, right? Or ok, I'm not being bad, I'm just doing something that isn't the best to do. Or something. But wow, tantrums just seem to start out of nowhere. And then after he had to sit in the naughty chair [or whatever] and I don't want to do that, so I hope I don't have one, but I might, so wow can we talk about this a bit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you're two, about all that manages to come out of your mouth is &quot;X had a tantrum today.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Inappropriate reporting can easily be replied with &quot;let's not talk about that right now [or right here]&quot; and some sort of redirection. Later, perhaps on the way home when the others aren't around, you can prompt &quot;did you want to talk about [whatever X did] now?&quot;  If you don't offer to discuss it shortly after the original report, then &quot;not now&quot; means &quot;swallow your feelings and never talk about other people or learn from your observations&quot; which you don't want. But a parent can guide when and where is best for those kinds of talks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lets-you-and-him-fight tattling gets the &quot;in or out of trouble&quot; line. The nice thing about this approach is that it also works when your child is 7, and has a friend who is breaking her own house rules, or is 12 and has a friend who is drinking her father's beers, or is 17 and has a friend who is and planning to run away (or worse.) My kids have reported their friends' behaviours to me when it was needed, and I've been able to keep them out of trouble occasionally as a result. They've also reported teachers and other authority figures who were not doing the right thing. I like that about my kids. But I've not needed to deal with that whiny someone-broke-a-rule-while-you-weren't-looking tattling, and that's made me pretty content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-02-22T22:31:04.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7512" CreationDate="2013-02-23T21:52:52.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Preventing the conflict (I want to grab that toy, I don't want my toy grabbed while I'm taking my coat off) is generally more successful with toddlers than telling them not to react to conflict. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like the issue is with that arrival transition, and specifically with the toys your boy has brought for the day. Perhaps if those toys were in something opaque, like a small backpack, and your son handed you that backpack while he got his coat off etc, there would be less emphasis on those toys during the greeting. There would also be motivation for Joe to back off if the toys didn't get unpacked until the rest of the arrival routine (coat off and hung up, hat somewhere, mitts somewhere, switch to inside shoes...) is complete. Once he's ready and settled you hand him the backpack. Maybe he takes the toys out and you take the empty backpack with you, or maybe the backpack stays too. Either could work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-02-23T21:52:52.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7528" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7530" CreationDate="2013-02-25T15:22:55.830" Score="6" ViewCount="2595" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 16 months old now. He is a very energetic boy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he hears music, he automatically will shake both of his hands as if he is dancing. There is no TV in our house, but sometimes, we watch youtube. While watching youtube I noticed that my son can only focus for around 15 minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 15 minutes, he will get bored and want to move on to other activities. Based on this first finding, I tried to do some investigations as to whether it is true or not that my son is only able to focus for around 15 minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The result is that this is true regardless of whether he is playing with a book, his toys, etc. Should I be worried about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is actually the average attention span for his age? If it needs to be improved, any suggested ways to improve his attention span?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any good references will be welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-02-25T17:08:22.607" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T17:33:11.443" Title="My toddler seems unable to pay attention for longer than 15 minutes; should I worry?" Tags="|toddler|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7480" CreationDate="2013-02-25T16:43:58.183" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could give the little one a wind-up torch, to have nearby when he wakes up in the night. If you charge it before he goes to sleep, he can use it when he wakes up. A torch has the specific job of dispelling the darkness - rather different to toys which just light up when turned on. This distinction might have some psychological value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3052" LastActivityDate="2013-02-25T16:43:58.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7528" CreationDate="2013-02-25T17:20:34.000" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 15 minute attention span is perfectly normal for his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, 15 minutes is pretty good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatricinsider.wordpress.com/about/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dr. Roy Benaroch&lt;/a&gt;, a general pediatrician, &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatricinsider.wordpress.com/2008/04/14/the-short-attention-span-toddler/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;wrote this on his blog regarding toddler attention spans&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normal toddlers can have a very short attention span. At times, they’ll zoom from toy to toy like a hummingbird, barely touching one thing before moving on to another. It’s common for toddlers to lose interest three pages into a story, and completely lose interest in a new toy by the time Mom gets the package open!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occasionally, toddlers will spend a solid five minutes or more on one toy, but expect that to be the exception, not the rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childrenshosp-richmond.org/CMS/index.php/library/articles/457/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Children's Hospital of Richmond at VCU&lt;/a&gt; agrees, saying that the length of the attention span can also vary depending on the subject, environment, etc.:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realistically, children, ages 15-30 months, attend for 10-15 minutes when highly motivated. The complexity of the task also matters as a demanding task may require so much concentration that attention cannot likely continue for more than 5-7 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That same page indicates that 15 minutes isn't bad even for a pre-schooler:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For preschoolers, attention span will vary by interests and situations. For example, when exploring in a familiar place with a new toy, a child may attend for 15 minutes or more. However, in a distracting place or when others stressors are interfering (illness, hunger, thirst, need to use the toilet), a child may appear distractible or less attentive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as when you want to start worrying about a child's attention span, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.earlyinterventionsupport.com/parentingtips/behavior/attentionspan.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;earlyinterventionsupport.com&lt;/a&gt; lists some milestones, broken down by age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ages 8 months - 15 months&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any new activity or event will distract your child, but they can usually attend for one minute or a little longer to a single toy or activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ages 16 months - 19 months&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child might be restless, but is able to sustain attention to one structured activity for 2-3 minutes. Your child might not be able to tolerate verbal or visual interference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ages 20 month - 24 months&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is still easily distracted by sounds, but can stay attentive to an activity either with or without an adult for 3-6 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Age 25 - 36 months&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child can generally pay attention to a toy or other activity for 5-8 minutes. In addition, he/she can shift attention from an adult speaking to him/her and then back to what he/she was doing if he/she is prompted to focus her attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ages 3 - 4 years&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child can usually attend to an activity for 8-10 minutes, and then alternate his/her total attention between the adult talking to him/her and the activity he/she is doing independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-02-25T17:20:34.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7531" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7533" CreationDate="2013-02-26T00:57:42.823" Score="2" ViewCount="1712" Body="&lt;p&gt;My one year old daughter has suddenly refused any solid food that is wet or sticky. She will only eat things like bread or cereals with an exception for puree. She weas eating a bit of everything up untill the past few days. We have ruled out teething for the most part, we don't feel any on their way. Is this a phase?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2333" LastActivityDate="2013-02-26T05:25:44.250" Title="Why would a one year old suddenly refuse solid foods" Tags="|infant|eating|solids|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3459" CreationDate="2013-02-26T05:20:40.520" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bear in mind that some parents will never acknowledge their child has a disability or even a medical problem. It's possible you may be up against that type of parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a friend whose son is 30 years old. The first time I saw a photo of him,as an adult, I blurted out &quot;does he have some kind of syndrome?&quot; I work with many people with disabilities and it was blatantly obvious to me, from the way he looks. The parent was very surprised and  told me the name of the syndrome. It's a known fact in that family that this child, in spite of having extremely intelligent parents, is at best a C student,and always struggled in school. (A learning disability is a hallmark of the syndrome.) I discovered later that the parents had NEVER taken this child for a diagnosis; a relative who was in the medical professional (but not a doctor) suggested the diagnosis. Even the doctors, when the child was born, knew there was something wrong (however, the condition was not defined by the medical profession until this child was about 10 years old, so there was no clear diagnosis at birth.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, 30 years on, this poor guy is living in his divorced mother's basement. He has never worked, except for one small, menial job. And yet the family is still waiting for him to &quot;man up&quot;. Social immaturity is also a hallmark of the syndrome, so it's unlikely he'll be able to &quot;man up&quot; soon. My heart breaks for this young man. He would have stood a much better chance if someone had acknowledged his disability and worked with him. But to this day, his father (the parent I know) completely refuses to entertain the idea that there is any problem other than what the father considers &quot;laziness&quot;. I have tried to talk to him and gotten nowhere. It pains me terribly. What if his parents dropped dead tomorrow?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3966" LastActivityDate="2013-02-26T05:20:40.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7531" CreationDate="2013-02-26T05:25:44.250" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Almost certainly, since children at that age change their preferences constantly.  My son has been running hot and cold on (eg.) avocados ever since he started eating solids: sometimes they're the best thing in the world, but -- usually after eating them often for a while -- he seems to get bored and refuses to touch them.  We pause for a while, try again later, and boom, they're gold again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't worry about it too much, just offer her various foods and see what she decides to like that day.  And if you're concerned that &quot;wet&quot; or &quot;sticky&quot; is the problem, I have a hard time imagining she'll refuse eg. ice cream or a spoonful of jam!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2013-02-26T05:25:44.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7515" CreationDate="2013-02-26T10:42:37.123" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also had fatigue issues and they cleared up completely by following a Paleo-type diet (specifically the &lt;a href=&quot;http://perfecthealthdiet.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Perfect Health Diet&lt;/a&gt; which is a little different).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me, all blood values were within parameters, and I was still tired. I cut out gluten and felt somewhat better, but after starting to eat PHD I have felt great all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then, my family eats the same way. We eat lots of whole foods, and snacks for the kids are mostly limited to yoghurt (with or without low-sugar jam), fruits, nuts and meats. They don't snack that much anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my answer is that you can try changing his diet to a very clean diet that has been proven to improve many issues in many people, even though it's a little controversial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from PHD linked above, there's also a nice book &lt;a href=&quot;http://paleoparents.com/eat-like-a-dinosaur/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Eat Like a Dinosaur&lt;/a&gt; which has lots of tips for eating Paleo-style with kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Search the web for Paleo or Primal for lots more info.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastActivityDate="2013-02-26T10:42:37.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7537" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-26T22:10:33.123" Score="6" ViewCount="12058" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 22 months old and he is several tongue-tied. We only found out because I have a 4 month old and when he was first born they noticed he was tied, and asked if our other child was. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 22 month old is having problems with speech, which he is working on with a speech therapist now.  It is hard for him to eat, so he just throws food on the floor. We had to go back to baby food. He has lost weight, so now we have him on pedia-sure to help him get what he needs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is having the surgery on march 7th 2013. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wanted to know what are the risks? My husband took him to the appointment and didn't ask ask any of the important questions. I couldn't get off work to go otherwise I would have asked all these questions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also found out my son is partial deaf in the left ear but they could not tell us how much of a loss it is. But they know it is not 100 percent because his ear drum was responding. Could this all be connected/related? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will be retested for his hearing before and after surgery. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the odds that my next child will be tongue tied?  How do you deal with your baby being so frustrated?  Any tips are greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3974" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-11-02T16:01:40.097" LastActivityDate="2019-01-31T02:23:02.467" Title="What are the risks of surgery for a tongue-tied toddler?" Tags="|toddler|health|language-development|ankyloglossia|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7537" CreationDate="2013-02-27T04:03:20.060" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my children were born tongue tied. My eldest had the tie cut after several months of age, and my youngest had it cut within a few hours of birth. While it may not be directly applicable to you, I was told it would bleed a little but not a lot, and while it's healing my children would be grumpy as it would sting. I saw my youngest getting his tie cut and it just looked like a very thin bit of tissue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before my eldest had her tongue tie removed she had great difficulty feeding, but afterwards starting feeding well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither of mine have or had hearing troubles that we know about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3975" LastActivityDate="2013-02-27T04:03:20.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7540" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-02-27T15:28:07.797" Score="27" ViewCount="12745" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever my son gets a minor injury (scraped knee, stubbed toe, bumped head, etc.), the fastest way to get him to stop crying is to kiss wherever he got hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It almost always immediately stops the crying, and when asked &quot;does that feel better?&quot;, he'll almost always say &quot;yes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does this work?  I'm interested in answers that address both the child's perspective (i.e. if a child asks why kisses from mommy and daddy make small hurts feel better, how do you answer?), and the psychological perspective as to why this approach is so effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any down-sides to kissing injuries to make them feel better (aside from the pitfall I ran into where my son fell on his butt, then pointed to it and demanded that I kiss it, that is)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2017-04-08T04:38:04.697" Title="Why do kisses stop a child from hurting?" Tags="|psychology|injury|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7537" CreationDate="2013-02-27T15:53:53.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, if you haven't signed the consent form yet, use that opportunity to ask the surgeon all the questions you need to feel comfortable.  Your consent is required for a reason.  Make sure it is an informed consent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main risk with any surgery is infection.  This is not as trivial a risk as it might sound.  My uncle died from a surgical infection, and my daughter and a coworker came very close.  However, a wound on the surface is much easier to keep clean.  Make sure to follow the post op instructions religiously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although surgery can be scary, just keep in mind that the condition being corrected is worse.  I know several children who had surgery for being tongue tied, and none of their parents regret it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-02-27T15:53:53.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7540" CreationDate="2013-02-27T16:00:21.770" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;The major reason is &lt;em&gt;because you say they do&lt;/em&gt;. Our brains are powerful and the placebo effect is real. Some doctors are even prescribing placebos, telling the patients &quot;a number of studies have shown that this pill will help you&quot; (which is true.) If a parent says something will work, it will work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was a preschooler her body reacted a lot to things others don't notice. One bug bite would swell her hand so she could barely use it. She was allergic to Solarcaine. I would tell her &quot;tell your hand to stop swelling now&quot; and she, not knowing that was a ridiculous request, would comply - &lt;strong&gt;and the swelling would go down&lt;/strong&gt;. To this day &quot;a warm cloth&quot; and &quot;a cold cloth&quot; (a regular facecloth with water from the appropriate tap, squeezed out so it doesn't drip) are remedies my young adults will turn to when needed. These things help them to feel better, partly because their whole lives they were told that they would. (And partly because they genuinely do help for some maladies eg a fever is improved by a cold cloth and a bump is soothed by a warm one.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, even adults who no longer believe in the power of a kiss from a parent do feel happier when someone acknowledges their pain, the more specifically the better, and expresses a wish for that pain to be lessened. It's true of emotional pain and it's true of physical pain too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW, if you don't want to kiss the exact injury site (butts don't scare me, but maybe a scrape is oozing and gross, or a bump is very sore) you can blow it a kiss, or kiss your child's hand to let them deliver the kiss themselves. These also work as long as you are confident that they will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-02-27T16:00:21.770" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7540" CreationDate="2013-02-27T17:28:27.083" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apart from the psychological benefits that Chrys mentions (and I believe they are the most powerful part), it does actually reduce the pain response, because you're sending a competing signal (touch) to the same brain area which is processing pain. Rubbing the area helps too, also in adults (there was some research about this, I vaguely remember).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-02-27T17:28:27.083" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7545" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7546" CreationDate="2013-02-28T07:59:58.100" Score="5" ViewCount="664" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 19-month-old daughter. She is a very active child, and usually very well behaved. But in recent times I have noticed that she is constantly whining and also throwing temper tantrums - if she doesn't like something, if she doesn't get something she wants, she starts to hit herself. Very badly. Or she ends up hitting me, her mother. I have tried telling her she shouldn't be doing this, I have tried being firm, I have also expressed my displeasure. She immediately cools down, and her immediate response is to try and appease me because she thinks I am angry with her, but the behaviour continues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I take her to the park to play with other children every evening. While she is great with kids who are seemingly older than her and enjoys playing with them, with kids her age or slightly younger, she tries to beat them and push them away. I end up constantly trying to control her, tell her she shouldn't be doing that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at my wit's end as to what to do? How do I handle her whiny nature and her temper tantrums? How do I discourage her from hitting people? How do I explain to her that this is not acceptable behaviour? How I do ensure that she learns to say sorry? Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3976" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T10:33:52.623" Title="How do I handle my toddler's temper tantrums?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|tantrums|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7545" CreationDate="2013-02-28T13:12:00.260" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been reading the book Hands Are Not For Hitting to our 22-month-old, and using the phrases when he hits to remind him that we don't hit.  He still wants to hit but we've noticed it's slowly improving (and his teachers at preschool report the same).  The big thing is to use the same wording (&quot;Hands are NOT for hitting!&quot;) and get down to his level to communicate it to him.  He pays more attention when we kneel down and look him in the eye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we see that he's getting angry, we've also been using the Toddler-ese techniques suggested in &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553384422&quot;&gt;The Happiest Toddler on the Block&lt;/a&gt; (a HIGHLY recommended book): get down to his level, look him in the eye and acknowledge his emotions. &quot;Son is angry! Son wants to play with the dump truck!  Yes, Mama hears that Son is angry, but we need to take a bath now and dump truck can't take a bath with us or it won't make noises any more.&quot;  If we move fast enough, that acknowledgement usually gives him time to gather himself and we can go on with things without a tantrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we don't move fast enough (a distinct possibility, juggling two small humans), then we just wait him out while he screeches and bangs his head on the deck.  Usually the complete lack of reaction from us means he only does it for a minute or so before getting up, and then we can talk to him and help him calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-02-28T13:49:35.837" LastActivityDate="2013-02-28T13:49:35.837" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3187" CreationDate="2013-03-01T16:00:17.413" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;TV during meal times is a big debate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There has been a rule when I grew up that the TV should be off during meals. Technically, the enforcement was easy since the dining table was set in the kitchen with no direct view in the living room.&#xA;At my grandparents' at that time, TV was on during breakfast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, I prefer to have the TV off during the actual time of dining. Why? I like to eat healthy food, not the average news or commercials that are being aired at the moment. I like to discuss about good things that happen in the family, not the latest accident report or drug scandal, and have my focus of what's happening here and now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well, I prefer to have no cellphones or distractions that drive focus away from that privileged family gathering. If a call is coming in, I just let it go to voicemail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some may say, especially kids, that dinner moments can be boring without TV... it's up to us, parents, relatives, older brothers/sisters, to make the dinner time pleasing to everyone and give the good example. This way, there will be no temptation to pick up distractions. For example :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about things that can interest everyone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All happens here and now. Avoid using the phone, whether it's landline or cell. If an important call may be coming, it's okay to pick up and tell to call back later.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not leave the table unless for service or until you allow everyone to leave the table too i.e. dinner is over.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid lengthy talks about subjects that interest only the older ones such as finances, politics, stories about acquaintances that half the table do not know about... or make everyone confortable by introducing the situation to the newcomers. If kids ever ask &quot;what are you talking about?&quot;, do no answer &quot;shut up&quot; but explain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No arguments at all costs! Whether it's about a low grade, bad behaviour or such.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not let anyone wait for too long between the different dishes. In France especially, we use to have cheese before the dessert but kids usualy do not eat that; that can be perceived as forced waiting time. Also, do no call to dinner half an hour before the starter is served... (that's a caricature, but you get the idea).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then, naturally, TV will not be needed at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's okay to set up a dinner around TV or a movie from time to time, as long as everyone is interested by the show.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is another situation where dining and TV can mix : the restaurant. Depending on the cases, it can be OK to watch the screen while waiting for the dishes, but not as everyone is served.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3990" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T16:00:17.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7545" CreationDate="2013-03-01T17:41:30.907" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We set aside couch time. For US not them. We had specific times that we scheduled and told the kids that was our time.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;While we were on the couch they could not interupt.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We strictly enforced this with (appropriate punishment) timeout etc.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It was amazing seeing what impact the respect of my wife and her respect of me had on such young children (and in such  a short time).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Preserving our time for each other made them different!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I can't explain it and I didn't think of it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It is an idea from Dr. Kevin Leman.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="577" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T17:41:30.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7540" CreationDate="2013-03-01T18:00:04.450" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the answers given above, bear in mind that one of the reasons they are crying in the first place is because they want attention. When you give them the kiss they are receiving the attention they are seeking, so stop crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can see evidence of this by watching kids playing in playgrounds. Often a child who has bumped themselves will check to see if a parent is watching. If the parent saw them, they will start crying to get the attention they want. If no parent is watching they may well just get up and carry on playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, if a child has had a major knock, as opposed to a small bump, then they will cry regardless, but it is quite funny to see a child with a small knock opt for a cry having misjudged the attention level of their parents. They can become quite indignant!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T18:00:04.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7550" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-01T18:59:55.140" Score="9" ViewCount="41979" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1992/how-can-i-teach-my-son-to-ride-a-bike&quot;&gt;This question about learning to ride a bike&lt;/a&gt; focuses on keeping the balance. For my son, balance is not a problem because he already has mastered &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/4yVF0.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;his balance bike&lt;/a&gt;. We're trying to transition him to a bicycle with pedals now and he's excited about it  but &lt;strong&gt;doesn't grasp the concept of pedaling&lt;/strong&gt; and promptly gives up trying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He never had &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GP8HD.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;a trike with pedals&lt;/a&gt; to learn pedaling. We thought it was neat that his balance was so good that he skipped the trike and went straight on a balance bike, but today that is beginning to  look like a pedagogic mistake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess &lt;strong&gt;if I gave him training wheels&lt;/strong&gt; he could learn how to operate the pedals without bothering about gravity and momentum, but I feel that it would be counterproductive to let him rely on training wheels at a stage where balance is not the challenge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have the option of giving him something like a &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/LoBsN.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Kettcar&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; but that would help him &lt;em&gt;understand pedaling&lt;/em&gt; without sacrificing his bike-balance skills. He's too old for &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GP8HD.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;a trike&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Should I give him training wheels, find a Kettcar, or something else?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2020-05-28T13:43:13.050" Title="How can my son learn to use the bicycle's pedals?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7540" CreationDate="2013-03-01T21:07:15.343" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kissing increases oxytocin which decreases stress and increases natural painkillers (opiates)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://io9.com/5925206/10-reasons-why-oxytocin-is-the-most-amazing-molecule-in-the-world&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://io9.com/5925206/10-reasons-why-oxytocin-is-the-most-amazing-molecule-in-the-world&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3991" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T21:07:15.343" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2013-03-01T21:24:33.693" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would walk beside him, holding the handlebars with one hand so that he doesn't fall over, and reach down with my other hand and grab his foot and get it going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T21:24:33.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7528" CreationDate="2013-03-01T21:28:39.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found with both of my boys at that age, that attention span is also related to their investment in the topic matter and their ability to comprehend. In other words they are not unlike adults - if they are already interested in the subject matter (say firetrucks) then they will have a longer attention span. And if you pick programs that communicate to their level (short sentences, simple stories, good visuals) they will stick with the story a lot longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3992" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T21:28:39.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-03-01T21:32:06.390" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've learned to turn the tables on my toddler and start asking &lt;strong&gt;them&lt;/strong&gt; questions. I first quizzed him on baby animals: what do you call a baby (dog, cat, duck etc.)? But this was easily extended to asking them questions about our environment, or their own likes etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems to satisfy the same thirst for knowledge and interaction but allows us parents a reprieve from the barrage of questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3992" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T21:32:06.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2013-03-01T21:48:30.287" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two ways one could handle this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On one hand, indeed, you could use training wheels that will make allow your child to (somewhat) postpone the learning curve of his balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he will become confident enough and learn how to manipulate his bicycle and its functionalities (ie, brakes), you'll be able to remove the training wheels, and he will be able to concentrate on the balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if you have the patience to walk/run while your child cycles, you could hold him (by the shoulders or the back). Albeit more tiring for you, it will boost the psychomotric development (the ability to use one's body properly to balance and move freely) of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key here, is that your child, depending on his age, has more or less developed capabilities. My belief is that it is better to hold the cyclist as opposed to training wheels, even if it may be a little bit tricky at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another alternative, depending on your possibilities, would be to attach the child's bicycle to an adult one, such as this: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.trail-gator.com/images/collage.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.trail-gator.com/images/collage.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3993" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T21:48:30.287" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7512" CreationDate="2013-03-01T21:54:16.997" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all - kudos to you, your daycare and your son. He has clearly learned some restraint, in that he is using his words instead of pushing or hitting. From this point several other strategies become possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Verbalize emotions: The idea here is that if your son can better explain how he feels it may make him feel better about things and might make more of an impact on Joe. Statements like &quot;Joe, I don't like it when you rush me&quot;, or &quot;It makes me mad when you do this&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Attempt negotiation: At this age kids begin to learn about sharing and taking turns. Try coaching your son to explain to Joe who's turn it is and waiting for your own turn. Or alternatively he can help Joe find a similar toy to play with or offer to trade one toy for another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately what you want to teach your son is a difficult and worthy concept - how to be kind. I know that kindness is not always rewarded,and sometimes not even deserved. Thus conversations with my sons boil down to the idea that we should be kind to others just because it's the right thing to do. If he knows this is what you believe then it will influence his behavior just because he loves and admires you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3992" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T21:54:16.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7483" CreationDate="2013-03-01T22:07:32.767" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you put your child to bed the first time, do you leave the room when they are still partially awake, or only after they are dead asleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We learned with our boys that if we only left after they were dead asleep, then they sort of panicked when they woke up and we were gone. So we began to leave the room earlier and earlier. We have now reached the point with our second child that he is fully awake when we lay him in his crib and leave the room. He accepts it because this is the routine and he very rarely (twice a month?) will wake up and scream in the middle of the night, and even then it's usually just a dropped pacifier that needs replacing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this also relies on a consistent bedtime routine. Read books, say goodnights, lay in the crib, turn out lights, turn on music and close the door. Sounds simple, but the routine has now become his thing, and he corrects &lt;strong&gt;us&lt;/strong&gt; if we don't follow it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't make this change over night, but it took maybe four weeks, and he put up a fight several times. Though the struggles were fierce they were blessedly brief and the payoff is well worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3992" LastActivityDate="2013-03-01T22:07:32.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7523" CreationDate="2013-03-02T07:57:44.593" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to address the loudness issue first. Explain that loud voices in public settings, especially inside, are not appropriate. Demonstrate the difference between a Loud Voice and a Quite Voice. Then offer positive reinforcement when he does this and coaching when he doesn't - just like you would for other behaviors you wish to encourage. Because using a Quite Voice has such broad applications you should have plenty of opportunity to coach him outside of the tattle tale issue you are focusing on here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try to form a simple and consistent answer and hope that he can internalize the message. Something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I am your parent and if you behave like that it's my job to teach you how to behave. But we have to let their parents teach them, and we should let them do it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you model this answer several times, you can then ask &lt;strong&gt;him&lt;/strong&gt; what the answer is. With any luck he will soon be able to recall the answer, and then progress to providing the answer internally instead of constantly bringing it to your attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3992" LastActivityDate="2013-03-02T07:57:44.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="156" CreationDate="2013-03-02T08:13:54.650" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would first introduce the idea of &quot;who's the boss&quot;? The answer of course, should be Mom, Dad and Teachers. If he asks what a boss is then explain that the job of the boss is to organize and protect others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next step is to then explain that they need to listen to the boss or there are consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not listening makes things disorganized which slows the group&#xA;down or makes it impossible for the group to do certain things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not listening can make things more dangerous for everyone. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not listening can result in a timeout.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also worried about squashing my sons assertiveness, but the whole 'boss' concept sidesteps some of this. Because his peers are not a 'boss' he is free to defy them without breaking the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case we reached a peak of defiance and had to rely on timeouts rather heavily for a while. Our method is to countdown from three before enforcing the timeout - as this offers an opportunity for him to see the consequence coming. By the count of zero he is in timeout with no further communication and as little emotion as possible - to minimize a potential power struggle. Finally we close the loop and ask him to repeat or explain why he was put in timeout, and when appropriate, make an apology. In my personal opinion, the last bit is key - &lt;strong&gt;talking&lt;/strong&gt; about timeout, when it's over, is what brings the lesson home. Without the conversation the lesson doesn't sink in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3992" LastActivityDate="2013-03-02T08:13:54.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2013-03-02T17:37:38.240" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with you (the questioner). If she's been having severe, explosive meltdowns since she was a toddler, there's a lot more going on than &quot;bad parenting.&quot; She sounds like child who might have sensory processing issues, aspberger's syndrome, and/or a more serious condition like bipolar - the childhood manifestations of BPD are different than adults, and often look like what you describe. My 12 year old son presents with some similarities, so I understand the hell you are going through. My suggestions would be to have a thorough neuro-psych evaluation done. They're often done through developmental pediatricians. Many times local hospitals, Especially Children's hospitals will have a good group. You can also start with your school district. In California, I know they have to do one for free if you request it. I'm not sure if that's California or US law. They usually won't really get at the issues you're looking at, but can be a start. You can also seek out a local autism support group - the members will usually know who the &quot;good&quot; local gurus are. Be aware that many members of some of the groups can be evangelistical about some issues - either diet, meds/no meds, so try to get an opinion from some more neutral parents.  Good luck. I know how hard it is to live with a teen who can/will explode any minute. Also - it is likely that hormones are exacerbating the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3995" LastActivityDate="2013-03-02T17:37:38.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2013-03-04T00:32:49.140" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I apologize, I don't remember how old your son is, but I feel like the first part of my answer probably won't apply to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If exposed to a bike/trike/whatever &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; pedals, it seems like most kids will master pedaling between the ages of 2 1/2 and 3.  I would definitely say this was the case for my son.  He got his first bike at 3 1/2 (having all ready mastered pedaling on a trike) and was riding it with training wheels easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will also tell you that my best friend's daughter had not yet mastered pedaling (she was 4 1/2) at that same time.  I don't know why.  She's 6 now and she can pedal fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm guessing, though, that since your question is listed under the &quot;preschooler&quot; tag that he's older than a toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the plus side, since your son had a balance bike, he's presumably mastered balance and steering pretty well, he's just unsure of how, exactly, to propel himself forward.  I can't find any resources online that specifically addresses how to teach your child to pedal.  Most resources focus more on teaching your child how to balance the bike, assuming that your child has all ready mastered pedaling before you put them on a regular bicycle.  So my suggestions are going to be things I can think of and you may or may not have tried some (or all) of them all ready:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Demonstrate&lt;/strong&gt;  If you own a bike (and I'm going to assume that you do), then take it with you when you go to work on learning to ride.  He may just need someone to show him how this whole pedaling thing works.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Explain&lt;/strong&gt;  If your child is somewhat mechanical (and even if he/she isn't), explaining to your child how a pedal works might help.  He's older, so if you explain to him that you're simply pushing the pedal and it moves the wheel, that might help him grasp the concept a little better.  The key is he has to understand that he has to do this to &lt;strong&gt;both&lt;/strong&gt; pedals to keep the bike moving.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Determine&lt;/strong&gt; Is it that he finds pedaling difficult to grasp or is he afraid of falling?  Sitting on a bicycle and sitting on a balance bike are a different feeling, so even though he's presumably mastered balance with the balance bike, sitting higher up on the bicycle might be shaking his confidence a little.  If that's the case, I'd throw the training wheels on there to make him feel more comfortable.  Once he's mastered pedaling, removing the training wheels shouldn't be too much of a problem since he all ready understands balance and steering.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Practice&lt;/strong&gt; You can practice &quot;pedaling&quot; without sitting on a bicycle.  When I was a kid, my grandmother and I would lie on the floor or on the couch with our feet facing each other.  Then I would put my feet on her feet and we would &quot;pedal&quot; in the air.  I thought it was awesome fun!  It will help teach his muscles the motion that he needs to use to push a bike pedal, and you can adjust the speed starting off slower and gradually increasing.  It also gives you the added benefit of being able to mirror his movements and you can explain while you're going along (ie. &quot;bend your knee, now straighten it out&quot; etc.) until he gets it.  It's a little more low-pressure than sitting on a bike.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Attend&lt;/strong&gt;  If there are any biking clubs in your area or bike safety days in your area, go and take his bike.  Seeing other kids around his age biking might be the push he needs to tackle pedaling.  Or schedule a little play-date with another kid who is biking.  The other child doesn't have to be biking on two wheels, just pedaling since that's the skill you're trying to encourage.  Sometimes other kids are the best teachers for things like this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If all else fails, buying a Kettcar doesn't look like a bad alternative.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like a lot of things, I'm willing to bet that once it clicks, he'll be off like a light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T00:32:49.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4367" CreationDate="2013-03-04T01:25:54.027" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually my pediatrician told me NOT to moisturize. Flaking skin like that is totally normal. Moisturizing will actually prolong it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby was floating in fluid for 9 months, so this is a skin adjustment. As long as it's not hurting her, you should be ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there's a lot of yellow crusty stuff on her head, I would recommend a bit of a brush. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what I've been doing, and my 1 month old is now coming to the end of the flakiness. When you bathe, rub with the washcloth. It will exfoliate. After the bath, rub lightly with the towel, and then after her hair is dry, brush her hair in an exfoliating way. Don't bathe too often, every 2-3 days is best. And use very little soap, it can be drying. We actually barely get the water soapy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3998" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T01:25:54.027" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7565" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-04T08:16:09.830" Score="4" ViewCount="469" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well this started about 3 months ago and it's been on going no matter where my daughter stays! She's an absolute diamond going to sleep but staying asleep is a different matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pregnant with another Lil Girly. My daughter is very excited about that and I have&#xA;been involving her in everything! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have thought about what has changed: well, my new partner has moved in with me, and my daughter's dad has a new flat and a new girlfriend! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter loves spending time with everyone. She doesn't like staying asleep! I've tried night lights, toys, even a new bedroom!! I'm running out of ideas as to what the problem could be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can stay awake all day and all night, but 3 months is a long time. Every day I'm getting a headache and I suffer from seizures so I need my sleep :(:( Help!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3999" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-03-04T14:16:34.463" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T14:16:34.463" Title="Please help: my 3 year old won't stay in her bed!" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7393" CreationDate="2013-03-04T09:35:51.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I've always hated playing games since with my father &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; he'd let me win. What was the point of playing if you kept winning? When I was a teenager, I refused to play games with him because he'd hand me some kind of unfair advantage. I think he took it a bit personally, but just saying that some lack of trust could be a side effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me and my siblings ended up enjoying games because they were difficult to win. As a game developer, I find that an important factor in enjoying games is the difficulty curve. You don't want to scare them into thinking it's impossible, but teach them that victory can come easily, and throw in more difficult challenges. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love the idea of playing with kids with some kind of handicap, like taking out the queen in chess, so that the child knows that he's still at a low level. You don't want to give them a feeling of entitlement. Instead teach them how the real world works.. teach them that people win and lose, and teach them that with the right knowledge and practice, they can win. At that age, they have plenty of time to learn strategies and master simple games (or even chess). It sets them up for the emotional impact of failure, and is a good time to teach them that if they keep trying, under the same conditions, they'll do better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This reflects later in life as well. A good deal of my colleagues and elite university classmates were heavy gamers.. it taught us that if you keep slogging at something long enough, you'll succeed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that luck based games like cards and Monopoly are poor - children will find the luck factor frustrating. Something like checkers or a sport works best, where constant practice shows results quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4000" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T09:35:51.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7565" CreationDate="2013-03-04T12:42:49.393" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like she's got a lot of changes going on at once: new baby on the way, Dad has a new girlfriend and a new home, Mom has a new boyfriend who now lives with you guys.  That's a LOT for a 3-year-old to process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way you and/or Dad could devote some additional one-on-one time to her?  Since you say she doesn't want to be alone, that reinforces to me that she's feeling insecure about her position in her new family situations and needs some reassurement that she's still loved and treasured and needed.  My three-year-old flipped out for a while when her brother arrived, and that was without the other challenges your daughter is facing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T12:42:49.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7569" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7575" CreationDate="2013-03-04T14:43:25.493" Score="14" ViewCount="13379" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (2 and a half) watches about 3-6 hours of television a week at home (usually closer to 3 than 6).  However, most of that time is spent watching the same shows or movies time and time again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We generally let him pick what he wants to watch (so long as its something we approve of), and he has some clear favorites.  However, even within those favorites, he'll have specific episodes that he wants to watch (for example, almost every time we watch &lt;em&gt;Dinosaur Train&lt;/em&gt;, he'll want to watch the &quot;spooky Night Train&quot; episode; any time we watch &lt;em&gt;Mighty Machines&lt;/em&gt;, he wants to watch either the train episode, or the race car episode).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's the same way for movies: he has a handful of movies that he wants to watch over and over again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to get him to watch new shows, rather than the same over and over, but he usually is very insistent that we watch the favorites instead.  I feel that if he's going to watch TV, it should at least be something he can learn from, but how much does he learn if its the same show he's seen 20 times?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted, the movies aren't educational, but in those cases its more about my not wanting to have to sit through viewing #18 of &lt;em&gt;Cars&lt;/em&gt;.  With a movie, usually I can get him to watch something new if we can make it through the opening credits (during which he'll be protesting loudly, and sometimes on the verge of tears), but I usually relent if he gets too upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to ensure that my son grows up willing, or, better yet, eager, to try new things.  Perhaps this is too early to really matter, but I'd still like to encourage him to try new things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I best break him out of this pattern?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2021-11-04T18:04:46.557" Title="My toddler wants to watch the same shows over and over" Tags="|toddler|television|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7569" CreationDate="2013-03-04T15:03:53.510" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My short answer: wait it out.  It took our daughter until she was about 4 to be willing to watch new things.  Toddlers are comforted by routine, and part of that routine might be watching the same program over and over and over.  As he matures, new things will be less distressing.  Also, some kids are just plain more neo-phobic than others; our daughter is the my-way-or-the-highway type, but her brother is much more willing to try new things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's at all motivated by rewards, you can try using a sticker chart and giving him a sticker each time he tries a new program.  Earn enough stickers, and he gets a reward of some sort (extra time at the playground, a favorite snack, something like that).  Our nearly two-year-old could care less about rewards yet, but his sister was all about her star chart at about 26 months and still finds stars very motivating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T15:03:53.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7569" CreationDate="2013-03-04T15:23:45.347" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. Kids that age often like to watch the same movies, read the same books, or play the same games over and over. Part of it is them controlling their environment, and some of it is the fact that they really like those movies, books, games, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd advise against trying too hard to change that, if you push them too hard you may get the opposite effect. If you want your child to watch something different then you're best off sitting with them and telling them you want to watch this other show. Then if they like it they'll watch that one over and over instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T15:23:45.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2013-03-04T15:30:37.697" Score="-10" Body="&lt;p&gt;You wanted to have kids, now support them. They didn't ask to be born did they? This world is not very safe, financially or other wise. If you chose to have children, take care of them. Kind of immoral to bring someone to the world against their will and then ask them for money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4003" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2013-03-08T03:10:45.003" LastActivityDate="2013-03-08T03:10:45.003" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7574" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-04T15:36:51.203" Score="9" ViewCount="5192" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been wondering about this. Me and my partner (I'm gay) are thinking of adopting soon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4003" LastEditorUserId="1155" LastEditDate="2013-03-11T15:19:55.060" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T16:33:42.230" Title="At what age should I explain to my kids that we don't believe in God?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7569" CreationDate="2013-03-04T16:12:21.750" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Small kids can't process passive media such as TV very well. They get overloaded easily because unless the show is going slowly, their mental processing simply can't keep up with the pace of the show. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of this, they should be gently exposed to media. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In practical terms, that means they'll &lt;strong&gt;benefit more from watching the same episode over and over again&lt;/strong&gt; until they feel that they've understood every moment of it - rather than watching a whole series (of whatever, but for instance &lt;em&gt;Barbapapa, Teletubbies,&lt;/em&gt; [insert more toddler shows here]).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also means that their media intake should be in &lt;strong&gt;small doses.&lt;/strong&gt; I wouldn't recommend a toddler to sit through a 1½-2 hour movie, not even a brilliant one. In my opinion and experience, a two-year-old should not watch more than 5-8 minutes in one sitting. A 3-year-old, 10-15 minutes. Ramp it up slowly, and watch your child very carefully. When their eyes become glazed (nearly unfocused), or when they turn into the figurative &lt;em&gt;couch potato,&lt;/em&gt; it's beyond time to turn off the telly and go play outside or with building blocks instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't force&lt;/strong&gt; your eagerness onto him (yet). We adults can hardly wait to see how that cliffhanger resolved itself, or whodunnit this time, but &lt;strong&gt;kids don't have a natural desire&lt;/strong&gt; to see the whole season, or to see the next episode, such as adults do. I don't think you should &lt;em&gt;&quot;break him out of his pattern&quot;&lt;/em&gt; - he'll move on when he's ready. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can train his eagerness to discover, and to try new things, much better with interactive toys and puzzles than you can with a passive consumer &quot;activity&quot; in front of the telly. Instead, find things that he can take apart and &quot;dissect&quot; them together with him, or build a Rube Goldberg machine out of his toys and see how big you can make it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T16:12:21.750" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2013-03-04T20:42:38.450" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't imagine that teaching a child that God doesn't exist is, at it's heart, any different than teaching a child that God &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; exist.  I have some very dear friends who do not believe in God.  Really, it's a simple matter of they don't attend church, they observe some holidays (such as Christmas and Easter) from a purely secular standpoint (Santa Claus, Easter bunny, etc.).  I imagine that, at some point, the question may come up from their boys, &quot;Why does my friend believe in God and we don't?&quot; or something from that perspective, but I don't see that there's any reason to call attention to the situation until/unless a child brings the topic up first.  At that point, you will have to thoughtfully consider how to answer the question.  I would hope that you wouldn't want to imply to your child that those who are religious are stupid or ignorant because of their beliefs, so you would have to choose your words carefully--in the same way that a parent who did believe in God might someday have to address the question of why one of their friends doesn't believe in God.  I mean, do you really want to possibly sacrifice a personal friendship or one of your son's friendships because of a difference in beliefs?  I would never want my child to believe that his friend or his friend's parents are bad or ignorant people because they don't choose to follow my family's belief system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I think that the reality is that if a child isn't &lt;em&gt;exposed&lt;/em&gt; to a God-centric belief system, they are unlikely to construct one on their own.  My oldest is 5, we are Christians, we have friends and family who are not who also have children around his age.  They play together and have never discussed God to my knowledge.  I expect eventually the topic will come up (especially with my nieces who are being raised--well, truthfully, I don't know what they're being raised exactly), but I don't plan to bring it up unless my children do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the diversity of where you live, your child may never ask why your family's beliefs are different from those of his friends and acquaintances.  In other areas, like where I live, the beliefs are somewhat more homogeneous which may draw more attention to your child's differences.  This might cause him/her to ask questions sooner rather than later.  Either way, I don't think the question is so much &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to teach them that God doesn't exist, but rather how will you respond when they ask why their beliefs are different from others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:  It occurred to me after responding that you said you were thinking of adopting which could add a whole new angle to the situation.  If you adopt an &lt;em&gt;older&lt;/em&gt; child, there may be some &lt;em&gt;unlearning&lt;/em&gt; to do.  In which case, being able to clearly articulate to a young-ish child (say, pre-school age) why you and your partner do not believe in God will be more important.  At first, it may be a simple thing of not going to church, but if a child remembers attending church/mass/temple/etc. at some point, then he/she might eventually ask why you don't.  I don't know your personal reasons, but keeping it short is probably the best way to address the situation:  &quot;We don't believe in God because we can't see God or speak with God or touch God&quot; or whatever your reasons.  You can get into other more metaphysical and metacognitive discussions about it when your child is older.  This is how we approach teaching our children about God--at their age, the concepts are very simple, but progress in depth and breadth as our children grow older and their cognitive development can process the information better.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2013-03-04T21:20:28.983" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T21:20:28.983" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4367" CreationDate="2013-03-04T21:36:13.653" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has dry skin that gets a mild rash if left untreated. We took her to the doctor just to make sure it wasn't anything more serious; short version of the story is that it's not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, we use Aquaphor on her in the winter. When she was an infant, we used it on her every night. Now that she's almost 3, she seems to be growing out of the need for such a heavy product. I used to feel a little bad because the stuff is so greasy, and we'd basically coat her in it--face, belly, back, arms, legs--and then put her PJs on. But she seemed to be fine with it and it really helped, more than anything else we tried, to keep her from getting rashes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4005" LastActivityDate="2013-03-04T21:36:13.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2013-03-05T00:28:26.743" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I think that it is important to think about what it is that you actually want to teach. Atheism is not in and of itself a belief system, it's a metaphysical position. Theism is also not a belief system. A &quot;system&quot; needs more than a single metaphysical point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what system of beliefs do you want to teach to your child? You're going to have to teach them something, even if that something is &quot;people believe different things for different reasons and I am personally okay with that because people have a right to believe different things.&quot; That's much closer to a &lt;em&gt;system&lt;/em&gt; of belief than atheism, because it involves ideas about rights and tolerance and other stuff that is outside of the single metaphysical point of whether or not god(s) or goddess(es) exist for some given definition of gods and goddesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if your belief system is something like secular humanism, you teach your child the principles--be kind to others, show empathy, lying hurts people, stealing hurts people, etc.-- and give them the secular humanist rationale as is age appropriate. At some point they will become aware of the question of whether supernatural things are real or not, which is a different question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, when a child becomes aware of death, they may ask what happens to people when they die. It is really hard to avoid questions about whether there is or is not a god when discussing the possibility of the afterlife. I think that the thing to do in that case is to be honest and sensitive and explain what you think, and that other people think different things. I haven't really had my kids pursue me on &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; other people think different things. My daughter, who is 4, took that as permission to think something different herself, and decided that when people die, they come back as babies. Now she has decided that this is something that only happens &quot;in the story&quot;, although which story that might be is somewhat unclear to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question of god also comes up when well meaning Christians--apologies to the Christians, but I simply haven't been actively proselytized by any other religious group--tell your children that they should believe in god and give them religious material to view. In that case, if they are very young it helps to just treat it like you treat stories about Santa Claus or any other mythical characters. When my kids asked about Santa, I always turned the question around (&quot;Well, what do &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; think) and that worked out pretty well--they believed for a year or so and then decided that Santa wasn't real. They've never asked about Jesus, possibly because he doesn't bring presents and is therefore less immediate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short answer, in other words, is that you talk to your kids about deep topics when they ask, and as much as you responsibly can, you let them figure it out for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2013-03-05T00:28:26.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4241" CreationDate="2013-03-05T00:45:57.590" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you haven't drilled your child in this situation, then  don't be discrete. Seriously, just say, somewhat loudly, &quot;Well, if you won't listen to me then we're just going to have to leave!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then carry the kid out of the restaurant, kicking and screaming if needed. You can keep up a running commentary as you go, like, &quot;Well, when I say no, I mean no&quot; or whatever. You've created a reason why you are leaving--as a punishment--and that is sufficient to cover your real motives. If these guys are dangerous, violent, or planning on robbing the place, but haven't &lt;em&gt;actually started&lt;/em&gt; the robbing and violence yet, they'll wait until the screaming kid is out of their hair, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; rob the place. If they aren't willing to let you leave with a screaming kid (preferably covered in ice cream), you were never getting out of there anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you've driven a reasonable distance away, pull over and explain what just happened. If this happens a lot, come up with a better plan for the future. When you come up with that plan, make sure you test it several times on false alarms to make sure your child reacts the way you want them to, because the last thing you want them to do is to ask you, loudly &quot;Are those the scary guys we're running from?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2013-03-05T00:45:57.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2013-03-05T03:45:00.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, consider the methods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To teach that a &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; god exists, you would typically raise your child as a member of a particular church. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To teach that 'god' doesn't exist, I see two primary options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't bother joining a church. They'll figure stuff out on their own eventually.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach theology. Having a broad understanding of religion on the planet will likely lead them to a conclusion you'd be happy with (even if it's not atheism). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For option 1, you'd obviously be able to start that 'non-teaching' at day 1. For option #2, I don't think there is any one answer there. That's really going to depend on you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-03-05T03:45:00.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2013-03-05T07:56:27.380" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our kid's school they teach them about a wide range of religions (Islam, Christianity, Hindu, Sikh etc) and while the school itself is slightly Christian, they support children in learning why their friends may have different beliefs than them, so my son, who is atheist/agnostic has a amongst his friends a couple of Muslim, one Hindu, a few Christians and some others who don't believe in any religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They don't see this as weird - it's just the way things are, like some have ginger hair and some don't. Some have different sexuality. Some have 1 parent, some have 2 the same sex etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They start to bring these teachings in around age 5 (not in much depth until a few years after that) and it doesn't actually start with religion - it begins with tolerance and an understanding that everyone is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching them that god does or doesn't exist isn't necessary at this age - just give them a tolerance structure and enough information for them to work their own way. I'm definitely an atheist, but I give my kids enough room to decide when they are older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-03-05T07:56:27.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6793" CreationDate="2013-03-05T18:55:52.500" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sooner or later your child will be playing with one of their friends who will comment on their security blanket / lovey. Depending on the age of the children, this comment will either be empathetic or derisory. IE, they will either relate to it, or think that it is babyish. Once your child knows that it is not the done thing, in the eyes of their friends, they will be far more likely to abandon the item than if you try to convince them yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-03-05T18:55:52.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3599" CreationDate="2013-03-05T19:00:13.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simple answer is not to buy bathtub toys that squirt water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can still have squirty fun. Just keep old shower jel bottles and use them instead. They hold a lot of water, and can be binned without worrying about cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sooner or later, you will forget to clean your rubber duck, and it will fill with moldy sludge. This will both smell and be a health hazard. Its not worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-03-05T19:00:13.947" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4307" CreationDate="2013-03-05T19:12:09.393" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Years ago, when I was in my twenties, my Grandad showed me a storage box. It contained all the letters and cards my brother and I had ever sent him as children. It  was amazing looking through them all, and I was quite touched.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step forward a few years, and I'm a parent now myself. I have so far accumulated three foolscap containers containing numerous scribblings  and doodles made by our daughter. Only the best ones go in, but our daughter likes to draw so theres a lot to choose from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These containers also contain her first booties, and a few precious bears. Now obviously, if your bear is big, this wouldn't be suitable. But if it is sufficiently small, I would save it in a container with all their special notes and cards. It won't seem much now, but in ten or twenty years it will bring back a flood of memories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/rEvkN.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Foolscap Storage Folder&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-03-05T19:12:09.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2013-03-06T00:18:41.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can think of several reasons why an adult would be living with their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Financial dependence (they can't get a good job).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Physical dependence (such as a disability).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Emotional dependence (they can't get their act together).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To help out (for example, with an aged or infirm parent).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With situation 1, provided the adult is making positive steps towards financial independence, I don't see how asking them for rent is going to get them out of the house faster. If they aren't at least trying to take such steps, I don't see why you should let them live in your house. On the other hand, helping out by paying rent and doing chores is probably good for the self esteem, so it might be beneficial as an act of support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With situation 3, bad things are going on in everyone's life. Situationally, if the adult is dealing with addiction problems or mental illness of some kind, they probably need treatment or therapy. I would not charge rent for a person in this situation, but I would not let them live with me if they were not participating in the treatment/therapy they need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal is to achieve independence. I would charge rent in a situation where charging rent furthered that goal, but not otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Situations 2 and 4 are probably out of scope for this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2013-03-06T00:18:41.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2013-03-07T11:56:43.480" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents ran a mom-n-pop retail outlet selling cycles for kids all their life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The suggestion they usually had for parents was to gently tie the kid's feet to the pedals (you can use shoe laces if you will) and push the bicycle. This would give them a feel of how to move their legs while the bicycle moves. &#xA;Also, try to get out of their view so they get a stronger feel of 'riding the bike'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="868" LastActivityDate="2013-03-07T11:56:43.480" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7589" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7591" CreationDate="2013-03-07T13:32:16.233" Score="5" ViewCount="3616" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2.5 years old. When asking for things like &quot;I want more water in the bottle&quot; she used to ask nicely and even with &quot;please&quot; occasionally. All good and dandy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since her brother was born a month ago she always whine while asking for those things, no matter how small or trivial. She would still say the same words but accompanied with whine or cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can see where it's coming from: her baby brother is getting more attention by crying but that doesn't help us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried the following things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ignore the whining and do her request. That of course failed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kindly explain to her &quot;no need to whine, you can ask nicely without crying&quot;. This help for one time only, and later she do the same again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Refuse her request on purpose and explain &quot;we don't understand when you say it like this&quot; waiting for her to ask nicely. Same as the previous step, she will ask nicely once then forget all about it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything else we can do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2013-03-11T09:15:49.893" Title="Daughter is whining for every small thing since her brother was born" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7589" CreationDate="2013-03-07T15:51:46.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like she might be using the whining to get more attention.  Have you tried scheduling some one-on-one time with her?  My daughter spent the first few weeks her brother was home telling me she didn't love me anymore; it was the best way she could find to verbalize her jealousy, since he was getting more held time than she felt he was entitled to, and it cut into her parent time.  Spending some one-on-one time with her nipped that in the bud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See if you can schedule a Mommy-Daughter or Daddy-Daughter date, even if it's just for a walk around the neighborhood or some time playing Go Fish. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-03-07T15:51:46.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7589" CreationDate="2013-03-07T16:18:24.150" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not necessarily related to her new sibling, although a new baby can definitely make it worse.  That's pretty common behavior at that age, younger sibling or not.  They call it the &quot;terrible twos&quot; for a reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're pretty much doing the right thing with either option 2 or 3.  Where you're going wrong is thinking it's not helping because it only works for that one time.  You've heard people say you need to be consistent, but you're just now discovering how difficult that is.  You have to respond the same way over and over and over and over and over before they start to get it.  Then once they consistently ask nicely after a subtle reminder from you, you start expecting them to do it without a reminder, and repeat that over and over and over and over and over until they get that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's pretty much the job description of a parent.  Constant repetition then slightly moving the goalposts.  It often feels like you're not getting anywhere, then suddenly one day you'll see a child who acts like yours used to act, and realize you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; making a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-07T16:18:24.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2013-03-07T18:53:35.373" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your best bet lies in teaching your children what you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; believe or think, rather than what you don't.  Not that there aren't times when you'll need to explain that something's not true, but it's generally more powerful to give your child the tools they need to determine what's true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children make wonderful scientists because of their curiosity.  Nurture that.  Don't settle for giving them answers like &quot;that's just the way it is&quot;, and when they tell you something try asking them to explain &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; it's so or &lt;em&gt;how they know&lt;/em&gt; it's true.  When you can explain your lack of belief in a god in these same familiar terms, it will make sense to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to avoid prejudicial criticism like &quot;Christians are stupid&quot;.  One day your child will meet a nice, smart Christian and realize you lied.  Instead use reasoned, specific criticism.  Talk about who you disagree with, why you disagree. Give your child a chance to ask questions or raise objections, and address them seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2662" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-08T12:10:58.967" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T12:10:58.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2013-03-07T21:28:45.857" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did it (gently) as soon as he started asking about Jesus - he went to a religious preschool in part so we could get this nonsense out of the way earlier.  You know: Everyone has different beliefs but mommy and daddy believe this because of these reasons.  Do you think Santa Claus is real or pretend?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4020" LastActivityDate="2013-03-07T21:28:45.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2319" CreationDate="2013-03-08T08:42:10.237" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 as well, and he also wants me to lay next to him when he falls asleep... I have found that when I lay next to him reading a story tale from the children's bible he sleeps better and more restful the night than when I let him go to sleep on his own. So I'd rather take the 20min and spend the time with him while he falls asleep (it easier, better and more relaxing than having to wake up in the middel of the night for a bad dream or something that wakes him)..... Just my opinion, and he really loves it, gives him peace at night.....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4023" LastActivityDate="2013-03-08T08:42:10.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2013-03-08T23:27:00.940" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;All you need do is not teach them that God exists. If (when) they hear about God from elsewhere say something like &quot;Some people believe in this God thing, but we don't. When you get older you will be able to make up your own mind, and look into it more if you want. But we don't believe in it so we're not going to make you go to church or anything.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think thats a better approach than preaching atheism, if you get what I mean. For a start, as a child grows they will want to rebel. What better way to annoy Dad than dating a Catholic (Muslem, Hindu insert faith as appropriate)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-03-08T23:27:00.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4728" CreationDate="2013-03-09T05:30:08.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just let him play with his belly button. He is just enjoying his body and he wont really harm/destroy it. What do you think could happen in worst case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This habit will stop sooner or later. Just don’t make a problem out of it. Keeping the fingernails short is a good idea anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Real problem?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody (not even a child) would harm himself without reason. Excitement? Stress? Any illness or invisible injury (inguinal or umbilical hernia etc.) that causes this behaviour? You should go and ask a paediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4024" LastEditorUserId="4024" LastEditDate="2015-09-28T18:50:38.413" LastActivityDate="2015-09-28T18:50:38.413" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3909" CreationDate="2013-03-09T10:40:51.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever my son just suddenly wake up on a certain hour of the night/early morning, i normally move him/sort of wake him an hour before the waking time. lets say you say he wakes up 5 in the morning, ill wake up 4ish to just move him. that way i somehow disrupt the waking habit. i do this and adjust the time until i can get it back to the normal waking hour.... i've read this in a book and tried it. it worked for us :) hope this will help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4025" LastActivityDate="2013-03-09T10:40:51.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7600" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7607" CreationDate="2013-03-09T20:18:35.587" Score="16" ViewCount="4855" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2-years old, with what seems a good development overall. We also have a 7-month old son. My wife takes care of them at home most of the time, and they also see their cousin (also 2-years old) one day a week, and my own mother 2-3 times a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are reading a lot about child development and it seems quite important to give the kids some discipline so they have some sort of frame to build upon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try to put ourselves in the middle about discipline, and her granny is very cool and patient with her grandaughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question we keep asking ourselves at the moment is &lt;strong&gt;when is discipline useful, when is it too much&lt;/strong&gt; ? And how is this going to change in the next years, i.e. &lt;strong&gt;what should we enforce when she is 3 or 4 ?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples of situations where we wonder if insisting to have her obey is a good idea :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At every meal, she takes off her slippers (which she never takes off herself at another time) and puts her feet on the table&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Since 3 weeks, she does not want anymore that I give her bath, she keeps asking (crying aloud) during 30 minutes for her mother if I take her to the bathroom&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes, randomly, she stops to obey when asked to go to the bathroom to change her diaper, or to climb up the stairs with us, or to tidy her toys, or any simple activity she used to do willingly the past months. Instead she runs away from us in the house&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she would roll on the floor and cry when she is forbidden to go to a game such as bouncing castle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she wants to jump on beds&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she sometimes completely refuses to use her potty (baby toilets, I miss the word in english)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when my wife is on the phone, she climbs on the table which is quite dangerous! (no really doubts on this one)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, here are some situations in which we found her well educated :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she usually repeats some sort of polite sentence when asking for something, and repeats thank you, hello, good bye and so on&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she keeps our hand outside the house&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she usually agrees to tidy her room and her toys&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she gives some toys to the little brother and gives some kisses to say hello and good night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she sleeps well and very rarely disturbs us during the night or her nap&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note : I have seen this good one about &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2417/how-can-we-discipline-our-toddler&quot;&gt;how to enforce discipline&lt;/a&gt;. My question is really about which subjects are suitable to enforce at the ages of 2,3,4 ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2021-08-17T15:04:45.053" Title="What kind of obedience is to be expected from a 2-year old?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1761" CreationDate="2013-03-09T21:42:27.417" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Nuture Shock&quot; by Po Bronson &amp;amp; Ashley Merryman contains a very good chapter on language learning of infants. My gist on your question what you might do to improve language learning &amp;amp; talking:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not point at things and label them, but name whatever the baby is looking at.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not try to interpret what the baby might be thinking or intending. When the kid holds a spoon and says &quot;Buh buh&quot;, don't go off with &quot;Bottle? Do you want the bottle?&quot;. This will just mess up the kids association of word to thing. Label everything that becomes of interest to the toddler. Object labeling of more than 200 objects per day for the toddler has been correlated with improved vocabulary later on. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Elicit attention to objects not by pointing but by holding and moving the object (the authors describe how circling fruit pieces into the mouth of a toddler is combined with singing the word fruit)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Babbling is good. Encourage it, by touching or responding to your infant as fast as possible (for touch less than 5 seconds is suggested, for sounds immediately). The authors suggest that this will easily double the rate of verbal interaction of the child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensure a high rate of word interactions for your child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensure that your face is visible to the child while you talk. Babies need to be able to see the talker to separate sounds into words.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Using high-pitched &quot;parenthese&quot; sing-song talking has been shown to be easier comprehensible to babies.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4027" LastActivityDate="2013-03-09T21:42:27.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7600" CreationDate="2013-03-10T05:26:15.267" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children go through various phases where they test boundaries and the 'terrible twos' is a well known period. &#xA;In many cases it should not matter what it is the child is refusing to do, she may be just refusing in order to push the limits, so my recommendation is to treat most of them the same:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she refuses to do something but is polite about it and has a rational reason (I know, rare at two, but an example might be that they don't want to go for a walk because they have hurt their leg) then accepting that reason can be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For all other refusals, we would not give our children an option. If it was bathtime we would just put them in the bath anyway, or change the topic, for example by asking 'what toys do you want in the bath' - removing the option of 'bath' or 'no bath'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you let them disagree with some things you give them the understanding that they can push the boundaries further and you don't want them doing it too much at that age as when they get older they can push much harder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2013-03-10T16:46:28.873" LastActivityDate="2013-03-10T16:46:28.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7603" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-10T08:31:31.363" Score="5" ViewCount="436" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am half Turkish and German (living in Germany) but did not learn Turkish when I was a boy, because back then it was still discouraged to teach two languages at the same time. Now as an adult it feels a shame to miss out on half the cultural ancestry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my first girl on the way I am thus pondering if it would make sense to bring up the child bilingually in English and German. I am sufficiently fluent in English after a year in the US that I feel up to the challenge of being the &quot;English&quot; parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand I am missing hard scientific facts that the effort is worth it. All children in Germany will learn English eventually and I would thus give the kid a headstart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone shed some light on the question whether the limited energy of a parent is well spent on raising a child with English in addition to its native tounge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4027" LastActivityDate="2017-03-02T08:05:47.130" Title="Is raising a child bilingually with English worth the effort?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7603" CreationDate="2013-03-10T13:30:11.267" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a fair mount of studies out there that show pretty that being bi-lingual is a clear benefit (e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/the-benefits-of-bilingualism.html?_r=0&quot;&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/the-benefits-of-bilingualism.html?_r=0&lt;/a&gt; )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this will depend on how you go about it. Small kids learn best by immersion: i.e.being exposed to situations where the second (or third) language is the natural means of communication and there isn't an alternative. As long as you can create these situations (e.g. enrolling in an English speaking Kindergarten or so) , this is good. Be mindful however, that the interaction should be with people who are either native speakers or very, very good. I'm not quite sure whether one year in the US would qualify and you may have to want that checked by a native speaker (embarrassing, but useful). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We actually pulled our kids out of the German class in US high school because the teacher was doing more damage than good. Horrible accent and limited grammar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is what we did and what worked&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;speak German at home, English with friends and at school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;6 years of an English/Spanish immersion school program that alternates instruction language between English and Spanish, 50% of&#xA;the class were native Spanish speaking kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Italian in high school, some at home (mother went to high school in Italy and speaks it well) and living with family in Italy for a while&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result our kids are bi-lingual, tri-lingual, and quadri-lingual respectively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-03-10T13:30:11.267" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7603" CreationDate="2013-03-11T03:09:36.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ah, this is actually a question about native fluent speakers vs near-native fluent speakers. The excellent English you hear in Germany is near native fluency. They get that by hard work and having a critical mass of English speakers. But the kids that hear the language at home as a family language, they get native fluency, and to them it will feel effortless. For the parent though, it will be work because they have to have discipline themselves to speak the chosen language and monitor if the kid is getting enough exposure to each language they need to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also another interesting point is that kids often speak the language they hear better than their parents-- this factoid comes from studies of non-deaf parents of deaf children who have to be models for sign language. The children speak better ASL than the parents, even though both parents have lousy ASL. So a child can get native-like fluency even if they have a non-native parent as a model. (I'm sure there is some bounds to this though- it's not magic)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a language hobbyist. I study languages for no reasons at all, so that's my bias. I want to say, of course! But someone already has posted that answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'll post the &quot;no&quot;-- don't do it if you got that nagging voice that says, &quot;this is never going to work&quot; If you already know you are low on motivation or have a shortage of resources, support from family, don't do it. At the low ends of success, there is just receptive fluency, usually because of too little exposure, etc.  This is a bigger problem in the US where people just don't have a culture of language learning and have wildly unrealistic ideas about what it means to teach a child a language (like speaking English with a few token Spanish words)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I considered teaching my infant son French, but my French isn't good enough. Instead we're going for Russian, Tagalog and English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-03-11T03:09:36.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7589" CreationDate="2013-03-11T09:15:49.893" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard for the little ones when they get a new sibling especially when they are still so young. The reason I found that happening with my son was, because he wasn't used to share the attention and was used to it that everything turned around him. Since having a sibling, the first few weeks was hard as he wanted to have all the attention. So what I did was to include him whenever I had to tend or are playing with his sister (4months). If she needs a diaper I would ask him to please get mommy a diaper, or when it is bath time I let him throw baby-powder over her tummy, or when we are playing I tell him that he did exactly the same or what he did when we were playing when he was still a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure he is still small, but I've found that including him with everything (even making her bottle together) he has calmed down on whining or trowing tantrums to win the attention. He feels like he is together with us and he doesn't miss the attention of when he was alone anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just my opinion, everybody has a different way of dealing with it... But I truely believe by including the little youngsters in their baby siblings rutine and playtime helps a lot. They are even more helpful if they can do watever it is you're doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4023" LastActivityDate="2013-03-11T09:15:49.893" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7600" CreationDate="2013-03-11T21:05:23.380" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;There isn't a fixed list of rules that all two year-olds are going to be capable of following.  Every child is different, even within the same family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds counter-intuitive to some people, but you actually base behavior expectations not on what they're currently 100% capable of achieving, but on what is just past their reach.  Otherwise there's no room for growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, a few weeks after you introduce a new rule, and have been consistently enforcing it, you reevaluate.  If they never obey, you are probably setting expectations too high.  If they never slip up, you are probably setting expectations too low.  The trick is striking the right balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-11T21:05:23.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7609" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-12T21:24:16.260" Score="10" ViewCount="988" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have tried grounding them, taking all their privledges away, we have tried reward systems and nothing works.  They have started lying about getting the work done and turned in when they know we will see that it wasn't done.  They have been grounded almost all school year and they just don't seem to care.  Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4039" LastEditorUserId="19065" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T10:51:20.887" LastActivityDate="2017-06-09T16:30:53.187" Title="I can't motivate my 13 year old twins to get school work turned in" Tags="|teen|school|pre-teen|motivation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7610" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-13T03:03:15.557" Score="9" ViewCount="37993" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can anyone give me any advise on how to help my 5 year old son. He is currently on his second suspension from kindergarten and nothing I do will stop his behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has hurt other students and his teacher, he will not listen to anybody.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is intellectually &quot;gifted&quot; and has been diagnosed with superior intelligence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My next step is to medicate him, but I really do not want to have to do this as he is only 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4040" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-01-24T13:05:11.267" LastActivityDate="2015-02-11T19:00:12.110" Title="Help troubled 5 year old boy on 2nd suspension for kindergarten" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7610" CreationDate="2013-03-13T03:19:32.797" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son had similar issues, we tried everything during the school year. We have extremely helpful teachers, staff, administration, the best group of people I could've asked for. Nothing helped get him on track for longer than a few hours. He was also suspended multiple times his kindergarten year. Eventually we had him diagnosed with ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was put on a light dose of Focalin, 10mg. The difference was absolute night and day. There are no major side effects, but he's able to participate and listen to his teachers, he's no longer getting in trouble and has turned around from being one of the more misbehaving children to one who is lead of his class. The difference between his kindergarten year and his first grade year is astounding, and while maturity has some to do with it, his focus is also greatly improved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was initially opposed to medication as well, but my son is &lt;em&gt;so much happier&lt;/em&gt; now that he's no longer getting in trouble at school, that he's able to sit down and do his work, that he can excel with his class and participate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's the route you end up taking, be candid and open with your doctor about all of your concerns, any questions you may have, everything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3201" LastActivityDate="2013-03-13T03:19:32.797" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7609" CreationDate="2013-03-13T03:32:25.977" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it getting done and not turned in, or is it not being done and not turned in?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is a fairly normal thing for kids this age to do between the ages of 12 and 14, and if the habit isn't stopped it can turn into a real problem in high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To &lt;em&gt;begin&lt;/em&gt; remedying the problem (because it's going to be a process), you need to find out &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; your kids have stopped doing their work.  There are a lot of reasons this could have happened:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some kids are simply not extrinsically motivated.  They don't care about rewards or punishments or even grades necessarily.  If this is the case, then the reason they're not doing their work is because they probably don't see any &lt;em&gt;value&lt;/em&gt; in the work they're being asked to do--especially if they already understand the material.  Perhaps their current school is not the best fit for them and they need an alternative form of school (homeschooling, Montessori schooling, Waldorf, or even a good, challenging private school).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They've slacked off early in the school year, got behind, and created such a hole for themselves they don't know how to dig themselves out. I've seen this happen with students before.  Rather than ask for help (because even at this age they &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be viewed as adults), it is easier to just keep doing what they're doing.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They see other kids at their school not doing their work who aren't receiving any kind of punishment at school so they don't see the point in doing the work themselves.  I don't know where you live, but in American public schools (especially the middle schools), there is tremendous pressure put on teachers to pass kids on to the next grade, even if they are not proficient.  Kids figure this out VERY quickly, and I've had more than one student come to me as freshmen in high school who stopped doing their work in middle school and were still passed on every year.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There could be some societal things preventing them from getting their work done.  Maybe they were/are being bullied at school and they've decided to stop doing their work to appear &quot;cool&quot;.  Maybe the group of friends they've fallen in with is somewhat questionable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are just a few reasons I can think of off the top of my head, there might be others or it might be a combination of things.  Either way, a good heart-to-heart conversation is in order.  My experience has been that teenagers and pre-teens can sniff out disingenuous people faster than a drug-sniffing dog can locate a bag of heroine.  Be prepared to calmly discuss with them exactly why you're concerned about their refusal to do their work.  See if you can get to the bottom of the refusal.  At their age, you should not have to sit with them while they do their homework, but it might be the only option left to you.  Sometimes when kids rebel like this, what they're really saying is, &quot;I need my mom and dad's attention&quot;.  Even though they're older and more self-reliant at this age, it's an incredibly difficult age--one which probably requires more parental support and guidance than we realize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to their teachers and see if they can make the work up--or even just &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; of the work.  Commit to sitting down with them and making sure the work gets done--even if it takes all weekend.  Your children will know that you think this is important.  They won't like it.  Resist the temptation to say, &quot;If you'd done the work the first time it was assigned, you wouldn't have to be doing it now&quot;.  Deep down, they know it and pointing it out will only build a bigger barrier between you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If NONE of that works, you might just have to let them learn a tough lesson their own.  It will be painful for all of you, but for some kids the only way they will ever learn is to fail and have to dig themselves out on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-13T08:15:36.693" LastActivityDate="2013-03-13T08:15:36.693" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7610" CreationDate="2013-03-13T13:22:05.260" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think StyxRiver's answer is spot-on, but I wanted to add a couple of things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to have him tested.  You've obviously had him tested for intelligence or something of that matter, but even the most intelligent people can have learning disabilities.  You can't begin to help him until you get to the root of his problem.  He may have ADD or ADHD or he may be dyslexic or any other number of learning or emotional disabilities.  Proper treatment is everything and you can't have that until you have a diagnosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in the U.S., the school and/or teacher cannot/will not come straight out and tell you that you need to have your child tested, but they might be dropping broad hints.  Next time you speak to your son's teacher or principal, you might initiate the conversation yourself and see what they say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sooner you get this done, the sooner you can start addressing the underlying issues causing his behavioral problems.  Most parents are not fortunate enough to know at this young age that their child might have some type of disability--a lot of children go undiagnosed until they're around 2nd or 3rd grade (age 7 or 8), and some aren't diagnosed until much later than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it turns out that he doesn't have a discernible disability, then it sounds like he may need some good counseling with someone specializing in children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-03-13T13:22:05.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7610" CreationDate="2013-03-13T19:58:02.160" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old son was expelled from kindergarden after about a month this last Fall. Our pediatrician advised us to get a free psychological exam from the district. The doctor diagnosed him with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/oppositional-defiant-disorder/DS00630&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Oppositional Defiance Disorder&lt;/a&gt; or ODD. We were loath to medicate him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most effective advice we've gotten for dealing with ODD has been from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1572303212&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this book&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;em&gt;Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior&lt;/em&gt;. The thesis is basically that consistent behavior in parents is the key to better behavior in the child and that parents have to rebuild their relationships with the child before their discipline can be effective. (The book is much more insightful than this simplistic description.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started going through the steps a few weeks ago and the improvement is already noticeable. It's hard work but it's much easier than the pain and stress of the misery we were enduring before. He's been at his new school for over a week and we haven't once been called by the teacher to come pick him up!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4045" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-11T19:00:12.110" LastActivityDate="2015-02-11T19:00:12.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7616" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7678" CreationDate="2013-03-13T21:20:33.037" Score="-1" ViewCount="1555" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, people who are well trained in mathematics are resilient and have confidence in mastering their daily life activities and solving their problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is learning mathematics a good way of building personal character?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4046" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-17T07:50:22.147" LastActivityDate="2015-12-21T05:16:54.570" Title="Is learning mathematics good to build personal character?" Tags="|education|math|personality|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-12-25T14:40:18.090" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7618" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-14T03:03:07.453" Score="24" ViewCount="8964" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been going to church my whole life and faithfully following the Christian religion for 18 or so years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm 20 years old, and I have been having doubts about my faith for about 2 years now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents are extremely conservative, very controlling, and strong practicing Christians.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently came to the conclusion that I am a deist (I believe in a natural God who created everything but not in a God who allows people who don't believe in him to burn in hell). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents told me that I had to apply to be a leader at this Christian camp out in California, and I got the job. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to go because I am not Christian. I only applied and went through the motions because I was basically forced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to go now, and I have no idea how to tell them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to buy my plane tickets relatively soon (within the next couple of weeks), so I need to do something quickly. I am also financially dependent on them for the most part (mostly my grandparents, but they have control over them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They think that I have to be exactly the way they want me to be instead of who I think is best for me to be. I'm stuck, and I need advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4051" LastEditorUserId="11724" LastEditDate="2015-05-25T07:39:53.283" LastActivityDate="2017-12-21T05:43:55.913" Title="How do I tell my parents I'm no longer Christian?" Tags="|parents|conflict|religion|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7600" CreationDate="2013-03-14T03:26:54.683" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This time is practice for when your two year old is older. It is important to think about how you want them to behave and set boundaries accordingly. There are some that they will follow willingly without struggle, but some may need constant reminder and reinforcement. Toddlers are constantly testing their surroundings, it is their job. It is our job as parents to consistently show them the boundaries. I have found with my daughter that even if it takes months to gain compliance, the consistent reminders and corrections of behavior eventually leads to compliance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the research I have read agrees that a child should only spend a minute per year old they are in time out (if she is 2, 2 minutes of time out). It is important to talk to the child and explain what they did wrong, why they are in time out, and what the correct action is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Telling your child no and correcting unwanted behavior now sets up an expectation that you have rules and you expect those rules to be followed -this will help your child navigate their world as they get older too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, you need to decide what you expect of your child and be patient, it may take many reminders to gain compliance, but rules and boundaries are important to all children at all ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T03:26:54.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7616" CreationDate="2013-03-14T07:39:40.313" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;About personal character not so much, learning maths won't change who you are. However it will help with logical thinking and problem solving throughout your live, thus it will help with confidence in solving tasks/activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good thing about math is passion. With my experience math helped me in this way. Having a passion to solve something gives you the ability to keep on trying no matter how long it takes, there has to be a solution. How I use this in real life is that no matter what rock life may throw at me, there will always be a way, there will always be a sun shining at the end of the road when I figured all the solutions out and done what I had to do to get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So no, math can't be used to build your character, but you can use the tactics you use in math in your life. If done with passion and willingly then yes, you may be able to add something to your character (who you are and not about what you are doing e.g. determined).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope I helped a bit....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4023" LastEditorUserId="4023" LastEditDate="2013-03-25T06:17:07.607" LastActivityDate="2013-03-25T06:17:07.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2013-03-14T08:21:14.420" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe in &lt;em&gt;teaching&lt;/em&gt; my beliefs to my child. I believe in talking about whatever interests my child &lt;strong&gt;in an adult manner&lt;/strong&gt;. When my son asked me: &quot;What is 'religion'?&quot;, I tried to explain my perception of the matter to him. He knows about the big bang, so when I said that some people believe that God created the universe, he replied: &quot;But that is not true, it was created by the Big Bang.&quot; I said that I agreed with him, and that this seems the most probably theory to me, but that we don't know for certain, because no-one has been there and witnessed either. I don't usually bring up topics that my son is not currently interested in. And I try to give him all the facts I have, discussing their relative merits, and giving him the opportunity to chose his own interpretation. After all, I don't need him to be a sceptic like me. If he wants to believe in God, why not? But then I guess that this practice will make him a sceptic ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will of course chose your own message you want to convey, and the above was only meant as an illustration of what would be the best manner for all kinds of parents, independent of their beliefs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talk about what &lt;strong&gt;interests&lt;/strong&gt; your child &lt;strong&gt;when&lt;/strong&gt; it interests him or her and don't force topics on them that are irrelevant to them at the moment and won't reach them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talk to them like you would to an &lt;strong&gt;adult&lt;/strong&gt;; use words your child knows, but don't simplify the matter - children are able to deal with not understanding everything at once and will come back asking for more details, when they are ready&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T08:21:14.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7616" CreationDate="2013-03-14T08:55:27.617" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you replace &quot;mathematics&quot; with &quot;hard science&quot; or &quot;engineering&quot; then I think I see where you're going with this. Much like the first answer, I believe that logical thinking and a good understanding of how things work make it easier to be &lt;strong&gt;organized&lt;/strong&gt; -- but it doesn't help with &lt;strong&gt;personal character&lt;/strong&gt; per se. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could be a math genius, or a fantastic engineer, with a precise understanding of the &lt;em&gt;physical&lt;/em&gt; world, and still be a social weakling (or worse). You could have a deep understanding of the &lt;em&gt;psychological and social&lt;/em&gt; aspects in our world, and still have a bad character.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What builds character, then?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Some would say &lt;em&gt;survival training.&lt;/em&gt; Some say &lt;em&gt;religious activities.&lt;/em&gt; Some say &lt;em&gt;team sports.&lt;/em&gt; Choose whatever works for you; something you can see yourself doing for a long time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the common denominator is to &lt;strong&gt;discover your personal strengths and weaknesses,&lt;/strong&gt; learn how to make best use of them &lt;strong&gt;for the greater good of the community&lt;/strong&gt; -- and then habitually exercise these skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T08:55:27.617" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7618" CreationDate="2013-03-14T09:34:49.987" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This isn't really a parenting question, but it's close enough and you could use some advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are stuck, however the reason is not ideological, but financial. Your main concern seems to be that your family will withdraw financial support, so that's what you need to tackle. Work to become financially independent by getting a job which is not dependent on religion or family connections, and get your own place to live. Once you are independent you then have your freedom. If you truly want to be able to live your own life you have to be willing to be written out of the will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how to tell them, there's no easy way. You just tell them, and let the chips fall where they may. If it were me I'd simply say that you don't believe that their path is yours and that you intend to make your own decisions on what your beliefs are, and then live your life. If they refuse to be part of it then that's their decision, not yours. Christianity is about acceptance (at least that's one of the things I took from my own Christian upbringing, although like you I'm no longer a believer), and if they cannot accept you as you are then they aren't true Christians. One thing I wouldn't do is argue the finer points about your own beliefs, don't even tell them what they are - it's your business not theirs! This is about choice, not beliefs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, don't let them come between you and your grandparents. Go see them yourself and explain your feelings in person. Tell them if they want to cut you off that is their choice but you will still see them. Keep your relationship going even if your parents try to interfere. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T09:34:49.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7624" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7627" CreationDate="2013-03-14T09:59:46.320" Score="13" ViewCount="12294" Body="&lt;p&gt;An article in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/health/child-health/article3712099.ece&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Times&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://judithhaire.com/2013/03/13/mental-health-risk-faced-by-children-in-daycare/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;plagerized here&lt;/a&gt; suggests that it may do children permanent mental harm to be left in nursery (daycare) when under the age of three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Jonas Himmelstrand, a Swedish sociologist, warned MPs last night that babies and toddlers aged under the age of three should not be in daycare, and Sweden was now seeing a range of social problems caused by sending children to nursery before they were ready. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This concurs with what my wife has been reading in a few baby books, which may or may not have been particularly scientific about their claims.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned as we're about to put our nearly one-year-old daughter into a nursery (daycare) for 3 days a week. For the other two days she'll be with her mother and at the weekends, both of us. We've carefully selected one which had a very home-like atmosphere, in which the children seemed happy and confident (although the food is not good).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'd like to know how much other evidence there is of permanent harm to a child in this situation, particularly for 3-days per week. Anecdotes may be interesting, but I'm especially looking for some research, whether it confirms or contradicts the above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;--&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;FWIW, two years on we both feel that in our case, nursery has been good overall for our daughter, forcing her to learn some social skills and independence. Of course we can't know how she might've developed otherwise, so it's only our opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastEditorUserId="4031" LastEditDate="2015-04-16T08:26:40.150" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T07:12:27.510" Title="Does daycare mentally damage children under three?" Tags="|social-development|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7618" CreationDate="2013-03-14T10:34:08.110" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure you do have to tell them, at least not now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What seems to be the urgent issue is this job. If you really think you can't stand doing it for a little while (I assume it's temporary?), which may look good on your CV (resumé), then you have to break it to them seriously but gently. I would suggest avoiding the theological issue if possible. These debates quickly get messy, especially when family are involved. You can let them discover that naturally, much later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you phrase it something like, &quot;I've been giving this job some serious thought and I really think it isn't right for me.&quot;. Try to avoid accusing them of pushing/bullying you into it and understand that they probably had your best interests at heart. I think they will be much more likely to accept this if you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give some sensible, concrete reasons why the job is not right for you (besides your theological objection).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give a serious plan of what you are going to do instead.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these will show that you've given it the serious thought you claimed and that you're not going to spend years bumming around at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're an adult now, so as well as making your own decisions, you need to begin to manage your parents, humouring them or avoiding certain topics in order to keep everyone happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you avoid telling your parents about your rejection of Christianity, that may seem dishonest. However, considering the amount of pain it may cause them to think their child is going to hell, maybe keeping the full truth of your opinions from them may be the kinder thing to do. Keeping off the topic may be difficult. Often these differences of opinion can be like an insect bite that people can't help scratching, even though it makes it worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps instead you could work on doing something non-religious, which you feel motivated about and would still make them proud of you. A good job or some charitable endeavour perhaps?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately you have to use your own judgement, as none of us know your parents/grandparents and how they would react. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastEditorUserId="4031" LastEditDate="2014-08-25T13:08:17.737" LastActivityDate="2014-08-25T13:08:17.737" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7624" CreationDate="2013-03-14T12:42:23.763" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of the main proponents of attachment theory, which is a theory of how children develop a relationship with their primary caregiver and how that impacts their relationships throughout the rest of their life, are generally opposed to daycare, as described in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1990/02/becoming-attached/308966/4/&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;.  If you look into &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=attachment+theory+daycare&amp;amp;ie=utf-8&amp;amp;oe=utf-8&amp;amp;aq=t&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla%3aen-US%3aofficial&amp;amp;client=firefox-a&quot;&gt;attachment theory and daycare&lt;/a&gt; you will find more information from that perspective.  For example &lt;a href=&quot;http://socialbaby.blogspot.com/2007/04/richard-bowlby-stress-in-daycare.html&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; is a lecture delivered by Richard Bowlby in 2007 on the issue of stress in daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/documents/belskyangxp-attachment.pdf&quot;&gt;recent overview&lt;/a&gt; of the most recent large-scale studies on children 0-3 placed in any sort of care situation other than at-home with a parent as primary caregiver had mixed results.  In some studies daycare could exacerbate existing problems if a mother was not a caring parent, but not cause them.  In others daycare was indeed found to have adverse affects by itself.  In yet others an earlier use of daycare was actually better than a later one.  The conclusion that the authors of that overview drew was that there is not yet a simple answer to the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T12:42:23.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2013-03-14T13:12:39.110" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Taken from &lt;a href=&quot;http://chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/8508403#8508403&quot;&gt;this comment&lt;/a&gt;. It might work for some toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/EvoFs.gif&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4046" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T13:12:39.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7629" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-14T17:02:26.173" Score="1" ViewCount="7708" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have just been put on the council housing list and at the moment live in a 2 bed house in which the 2nd room is tiny. The council are saying that my two daughters, aged 16 and 1 year, can share a bedroom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought once a child hit secondary school age they should have their own room?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4053" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-05-21T18:32:10.153" LastActivityDate="2013-05-21T18:32:10.153" Title="Can the council demand that a 16yo shares a bedroom with a 1yo?" Tags="|toddler|teen|bedroom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7624" CreationDate="2013-03-14T18:46:44.777" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remo H. Largo, one of the most eminent Swiss developmental psychologists, has the following opinion on the matter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need continuity. It does not matter to them, who provides the continuous psycho-social care. Children grow up happy and healthy with their parents, a single parent, their grandparents, adopted parents, foster parents, or whoever is taking good care of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From this follow two rules regarding child-care:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(1) You have to give the child ample time to get used to new caregivers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(2) The caregivers in day-care must be the same one or two persons always.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problems with day-care arise because parents and child care workers push the child to let go of the parent too quickly; and because most day-care centers shift their workforce around based on organisational needs, ignoring the needs of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So (a) if you can find day-care that provides continuity, and (b) if you give your child the time it needs to let you go of its own free will, and finally (c) if you are prepared and ready to let that caretaker become equally important to your child as you are, then your child will be happy and prospering in day-care. If one of these three conditions is missing, then you should wait until your child is old enough to endure your absence without harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with research into this matter is that almost all studies simply correlate &quot;day-care versus no day-care&quot; with psychological problems and ignore the question of the quality of day-care completely. It is a fact that most day-care is lacking the continunity that a child needs, but it is not true that day-care per se is the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Largo discusses his opinion (and outlines the relevant research) in his book on divorce (Glückliche Scheidungskinder, &quot;Happily Divorced Kids&quot;), a situation where the same problem arises. Unfortunately I don't believe this book is available in English.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3140" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T18:46:44.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7629" CreationDate="2013-03-14T19:35:30.103" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are they explicitly saying this, or are you assuming they're implying it, because you're in a 2 bedroom house?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can only speak for the US, so YMMV, but legally speaking, housing supports up to two people per room. In your situation this means that they can give you a 2 bedroom place and tell you to deal with it, but they can't give you a 1 bedroom place. Given the differences in cost (not to mention availability) of 3 bedroom places vs 2 bedroom places, it's not surprising that the implication is that someone has to share a room with someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, assuming the actual decision is yours, it's ultimately up to you. It's not uncommon at all for siblings to share a bedroom all the way until the time they move out. Where it generally becomes a taboo or sticking point is if the children are opposite genders (for countless reasons). However, you don't have that particular issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your issue isn't so much about your older daughter being a teenager as it is about the age difference between your children. Both have vastly different needs and schedules, and they both need to be taken into account. Putting them in the same bedroom will likely cause issues with sleep as the teenager runs the risk of waking the little one and vice versa, at a time when sleep is extremely important for both of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They don't need to share a bedroom, though, at least for the time being. Your 1 year old can share your bedroom. You can also get creative with other rooms in your house and create a bedroom for someone. For example, if you have a finished basement or livable attic, you can turn it into the teenager's bedroom (many kids love the sense of privacy that having an entire floor to themselves brings). You could also section off the living room or some other room to create a bedroom for someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2013-03-14T19:35:30.103" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7634" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7635" CreationDate="2013-03-15T11:13:03.387" Score="7" ViewCount="3611" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have twin boys aged 15 months. They normally fight for a toy or anything new. Earlier it was a slap on the other's head with the toy or hand, but now they have started biting each other. Is there any way we can discourage this and encourage sharing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3625" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-14T12:14:12.333" LastActivityDate="2019-05-14T12:14:12.333" Title="How to handle fighting twin toddlers who started biting each other?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|twins|biting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7634" CreationDate="2013-03-15T13:41:45.707" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hitting and biting are natural things for toddlers to do. Part of your job is to teach them how to do something different. It's hard, and I'm sure it's harder still when there are two of them in that stage together. Some of what you can do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;every time, every single time, you see any hitting or other physical interaction, you gently separate them - just out of arms reach, not different rooms - and remind the hitter or hitters &quot;we don't hit&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;never hit them yourself. Model what you want them to do. Don't hit or bite the aggressor to show him what it's like&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;once they can talk, remind them to use their words to express their feelings. Give them things they can say like &quot;I want a turn&quot; or &quot;I was using it&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;translate for the hitter: tell the hittee &quot;your brother is telling you he wants a turn&quot; but don't enforce what the hitter wanted such as insisting the hittee hand over the toy, let the children decide what to do with the information you're providing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tell the hitter &quot;I won't let you hurt your brother&quot; - this is powerful to both of them. They love each other and don't want to see each other hurt, even by each other&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if you can arrange their lives to minimize conflict at this young age, do try that. Having only one of something means they will tussle over it. Being put within reach of each other while tired, hungry, or confined means they may take out their frustrations on each other. Don't set them up to fail; set them up to succeed. They'll get lots of chances to share and to sit together nicely, so try to make the majority of their day smooth: enough toys to go around, each sitting in their own space instead of right next to each other, each sleeping in their own crib, etc. Space and money might not let you create entire parallel existences, but twins are often asked to meet a much higher bar of sharing and co-operation than singletons: make sure you're not setting it too high.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-03-15T13:41:45.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7618" CreationDate="2013-03-16T01:01:20.660" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let's be clear: ideological freedom is a basic human right, and your right to believe something is not affected by whether you are financially dependent on another person. The support your parents provide is a gift that they can withdraw at any time for any reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your parents are providing you support because they believe you believe something you don't, you're lying to them in order to take their money. I understand that you may feel like you need the money (and perhaps you do), but you are still lying to people you love for financial gain, and I just don't think you'll feel good about that if you keep it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you considered simply telling your parents that you are having a lot of doubts? You don't have to come right out and say, &quot;Mom, Dad, I'm a Deist&quot;, but you could say, &quot;Mom, Dad, I'm worried that I'm not the right person for this counseling position because I'm struggling with my faith right now.&quot; See how they react to the idea that you might not believe in hell anymore. There are actually Christians that don't believe in Hell, Carlton Pearson comes to mind. Maybe your parents will be more understanding than you think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they aren't, and if it becomes clear that you are going to be expected to pay lip service to the god of hell if you want to retain their financial support, then you need to come up with an escape plan. That escape plan might involve taking this job and remaining in the closet as a non-believer for a couple of years, which will make you feel angry and resentful towards them and towards yourself. Try not to. You can't make yourself believe something you don't, and your parents want what is best for you. If they are trying to get you to believe in hell by pressuring you financially, it's because they don't want you suffer for all eternity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: start with the idea that you are &quot;struggling&quot; with your faith, and if it becomes clear that you aren't going to have success with that, figure out how you're going to live on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2013-03-16T01:01:20.660" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7638" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-16T05:18:40.717" Score="4" ViewCount="488" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are expecting a baby this July was wondering how to prepare for his coming with the intention of homeschooling the child. Do we need to take some courses, read books, prepare a plan to start schooling the baby from day 1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Motivation:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I roughly remember that I read about some studies which correlate conditioning \Intervention as early as the fetal (fetus) stage to have significant impact on behavior and intellect in the future adulthood of a Person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Our vision:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally  we would love to home school the baby  all the way up to matriculation. Most importantly we would definitely not want to give the traditional kind of education. Some thing which is more meaningful and useful to get the Child into the world and dealing with it as quickly as possible. More specifically I would like my child to actually learn by doing things on the lines of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_apprenticeship&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Cognitive Apprenticeship&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S We are from India&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2013-06-17T05:11:46.400" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T18:46:51.920" Title="How to prepare to homeschool our new baby" Tags="|newborn|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7638" CreationDate="2013-03-16T14:44:17.333" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will not be able to teach a newborn baby very much! For many, many months, your child is going to be learning fundamentals like how to eat, how to focus eyes properly, how to roll over... you've got years to prepare for a solid homeschooling curriculum, so you do not need to have all the pieces in place by July.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can certainly do things to keep an infant interested in the world and learning, however; play baby games, talk frequently around (and to) him, read baby books, and try to have lots of different, new experiences that let your child see all sorts of things (like going to parks, museums, even the store, rather than just staying home all the time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Longer-term, you should definitely read books about homeschooling. Make sure that you are not only meeting the academic requirements to homeschool a child, but also including additional learning experiences that you as parents think are important. Meeting and learning from other homeschool-parents can provide a great system of support and ideas, plus provide opportunities for your child to socialize with others approximately the same age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-03-16T14:44:17.333" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7638" CreationDate="2013-03-16T20:42:20.973" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first schooling all children get is homeschooling. Depending on where you live and the way the parent(s) employment is arranged, they might have no teacher other than a parent for 6 weeks, a year, 4 years or more. The majority of children then go on to get some teaching from a trained professional (daycare worker, nursery school teacher, primary school teacher) for as long as 6 hours a day or more, while still learning more informally from their parents. Until about the second year of fulltime formal schooling (say age 7 or 8 in most countries) they learn more from their parents - how to eat, dress, care for themselves, vocabulary, and even reading - than from the other teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting aside my understanding of homeschooling to be acting as your child's only teacher past an age where most children have multiple teachers, it seems you are asking about those early months and years, what some people would call preparation for traditional school. Almost every &quot;baby book&quot; you can buy is crammed with advice on how to teach your child to eat solid foods, to walk, to use the toilet, and so on. If anything, most new parents get too much advice about how to teach things to their children. The most important thing you can teach a child is that they are loved and that doing stuff is great. From birth they will want to do what you do and be like you. You read? They want to read. You listen to music? They want to listen to music. You play an instrument? They want to play an instrument. You wear shoes, use the toilet, cook, ride a bike, climb a tree, throw a ball, build things with blocks, know the words for things, and you can share those abilities with your child when the time is right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice? Prepare to enjoy your life and to share that joy with this new person - for the next 20 years. That's so much more important than flashcards or the &quot;right&quot; decorations for the nursery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-03-16T20:42:20.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="127" CreationDate="2013-03-17T03:25:35.740" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your baby understands you (or even if they don't), tell them why you are leaving.  I spend a lot of time putting my three children (1,3 and 5) to bed, probably 30 min each, but that is the only time of the day that they get individual &quot;mommy time.&quot;  Now the older two understand when I say goodnight, it's time to sleep, but until they were 2.5, I usually gave them some excuse as to why I had to leave.  Mommy needs to go potty, get a drink, fold laundry, etc.  and I always promise to check on them in a few minutes.  90% of the time, they were asleep before I came back 10 min later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That strategy helped me a lot with bedtime once the older kids were in their own beds.  Sleeping through the night is a different story.  My 12 month old is driving me crazy! I just eliminated dairy from my diet (sucks!  I can't even butter my toast!) thinking he may have an issue with it, but today I shared a Stromboli with my mom at lunch, not even thinking about the cheese!  And he's been up twice since bedtime 4 hours ago :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4061" LastActivityDate="2013-03-17T03:25:35.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1457" CreationDate="2013-03-17T10:04:23.183" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to disagree with the accepted answer as to what a seven year old needs to know or what is part of the understanding of WW2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My issue is that while Hitler's fanatical racism was a part of the &quot;why&quot; and &quot;what&quot; of WW2, the answer glosses over the fact that he was an extreme German nationalist who wanted to rule the world. WW2 was a war of aggression: the Germans under Adolf Hitler invaded other countries, such as Belgium, because they wanted to control everything that happened in Belgium. Part of controlling everything was attempting to exterminate the Jews, yes, but that was a means to the end of creating the great Aryan Empire. And other countries such as the US and Britain didn't get involved because they wanted to save the Jews, they got involved because they or their allies were attacked. If Hitler had been satisfied with just Germany and Austria, there's no evidence to suggest that any country would have intervened in a mass murder of jews inside those borders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's insulting to history to say that Hitler was very good at tricking people into regarding jews (and other groups) as less than human. Hitler didn't have any trouble convincing the German people to hate the jews because there was a &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt; undercurrent of antisemitism &lt;a href=&quot;http://web.mnstate.edu/shoptaug/anti-semitism.htm&quot;&gt;already present in Germany&lt;/a&gt; and indeed in all of Western Europe. There is a long history of racism and exploitation of non-whites by various European nations. For example, half a century before Hitler, King Leopold of Belgium was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.yale.edu/gsp/colonial/belgian_congo/index.html&quot;&gt;decimating the Congo&lt;/a&gt;. To say that Hitler was good at tricking people is to misrepresent the truth about how people felt. Many people agreed with him, in Germany and in other nations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my suggestion, for a seven year old, would be a simpler truth: WW2 happened because the Germans tried to take over the world, and other countries didn't want to be taken over so they fought back and won. The Germans wanted to take over the world for several reasons. They had been beaten in WW1 and forced to sign a treaty that made life very hard for Germans. A man named Adolf Hitler became very powerful by making speeches about how the Germans could be a powerful state again. He told the German people that they were special and superior to all other peoples, and that they had a natural right to rule the world. Many people believed him, either because they already felt that way or because it made them feel good to think they were better than everyone else. So they started taking over other countries with their army and eventually other countries got together and stopped them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2013-03-17T10:04:23.183" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7644" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-17T11:27:15.447" Score="3" ViewCount="3617" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard it more than once that one shouldn't cut baby's hair in the first year. The explanation when I ask why seems flimsy to me; along the lines of the hair structure not being settled yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My understanding is that hair (and nails) is more or less dead material; it shouldn't make any difference whether the hair is trimmed to a shorter length or not, as long as the hair roots aren't damaged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Morah mentioned in her answer to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4542/is-there-any-harm-to-letting-an-infants-hair-grow-long&quot;&gt;a related question&lt;/a&gt; that &lt;em&gt;not cutting&lt;/em&gt; can be based on religious beliefs, but that doesn't apply here. Even so, I'd like to understand whether the statement is true or just an old wives' tale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-03-17T17:38:20.097" Title="Should we cut our infant's hair?" Tags="|infant|hair|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7645" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7646" CreationDate="2013-03-17T13:43:18.990" Score="12" ViewCount="598" Body="&lt;p&gt;Provided that I have a warm enough home, can a newborn live there with only diapers, or does he still need clothes on? If so, why? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2832" LastActivityDate="2015-04-24T05:05:50.593" Title="Are clothes needed for a newborn?" Tags="|newborn|clothes|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7645" CreationDate="2013-03-17T15:20:28.577" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Certainly people lived and existed before clothes were invented, so to some extent one could claim we don't &quot;need&quot; clothes. However clothes, especially for tiny babies, serve purposes other than warmth:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;absorbency. Babies don't just leak from the diaper area: they drool, spit up, and just like us, they sweat. Most baby-specific clothes are very absorbent for just this reason. It's more comfortable that way compared to the chill of evaporating spit off your chest or the itchiness of something sticky drying on you. They can't grab a cloth and wipe themselves off.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;protection from contact. Whether it's the carpet, your jeans, a tile floor, or the grass and dirt outside, babies touch the world with their whole body, by lying on it. We touch mostly with the soles of our feet (often protected) and our hands (with control over the pressure) A baby's back, stomach, arms etc are all going to come in contact with a whole lot of world and it won't all be soft or clean. A layer of clothes helps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sun protection. More relevant if the baby is outside, but worth mentioning.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;protection from themselves. Babies can't control their own movements at first, and aren't really clear on the difference between themselves and the world. They bite themselves and scratch themselves by mistake, they hit themselves in the stomach with a rattle they are waving around, and a little bit of soft cotton can actually reduce the pain and upset of these accidents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;social norms. Assuming you wear clothes, and intend for your child to do so later, you might as well start as you mean to go on and teach the baby how to co-operate in being dressed, and how to operate their body when clothes are on. Futhermore the world is still full of people who will judge all your parenting by the clothing choices you make. I knew a woman who was insistent sleepers are for night time only, and any baby wearing a sleeper in the daytime (especially outside their own house) was not being raised properly. Taking the time to put appropriate clothes on a baby is one way you show others you are conscientious about the baby's well-being and their place in the community.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, some &quot;naked time&quot; is great for babies - on a soft surface like a receiving blanket, and with someone wiping up drools and leaks - they like the feel of the air on their skin and it can make them really happy. Don't let a grandparent tell you they must never be naked at all. But don't assume the only purpose of clothes is temperature regulation, or that you don't need to buy any clothes at all for the first few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-03-17T15:20:28.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7644" CreationDate="2013-03-17T17:38:20.097" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is an old wives tale, there's no reason not to cut an infant's hair. As you say it is inert, cutting it makes no difference to hair being grown. I don't think it is a question that comes up often because infants generally have so little of it in the first place that cutting it is unnecessary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-03-17T17:38:20.097" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7648" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-18T04:40:22.593" Score="3" ViewCount="7800" Body="&lt;p&gt;My friend gave her 4 month old baby an Easter peep (a marshmallow). Is that harmful to her health? I'm really worried. Please let me know if I should be this worried. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4063" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-06T08:45:01.600" LastActivityDate="2016-10-01T01:36:08.090" Title="Is it harmful to let a 4 month old baby eat an Easter peep (marshmallow)?" Tags="|infant|safety|food|weaning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7648" CreationDate="2013-03-18T11:59:33.203" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;For those of us not in USA, &quot;peep&quot; is marshmallow candy: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peeps&quot;&gt;Wikipedia article&lt;/a&gt;. I had to look it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As one user comments, infants can't chew food so they either spit it out, swallow it whole -- &lt;em&gt;or choke on it!&lt;/em&gt; For this reason, &lt;strong&gt;infants should not be given food they can't swallow.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the parent feels that the infant really needs to eat a peep, then cut it up in raisin-sized pieces that can be easily swallowed and feed one piece at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;strong&gt;my personal opinion&lt;/strong&gt; is that infants should not have candy. This is not cruel, and not greedy. They simply don't need the candy (it's not food), they can't appreciate the taste, they don't need the non-food chemical ingredients, and they certainly don't need the sugar and/or fructose that can harm their levels of body sugar, and can harm their dental hygiene. I think that parents who give candy to infants have seriously misunderstood their responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-03-18T11:59:33.203" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7648" CreationDate="2013-03-18T14:05:44.847" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is probably not good practice to let your 4-month-old eat a marshmallow for more than simply the fact that it's a choking hazard.  A Peep is a marshmallow which means it's mostly sugar, but also gelatin, various dyes (depending on which color of Peep she gave her child), dairy products, and preservatives.  My best friend's mother buys Peeps every year, puts them away, and eats them the &lt;em&gt;next&lt;/em&gt; Easter after they've hardened.  They're not moldy just hard.  Those are some serious preservatives.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a safety standpoint, most 4-month-olds I know do little more than lick or suck on any kind of solid food given to them.  I'm guessing her child did something similar and probably didn't &quot;eat&quot; the Peep.  I don't know--I'm just guessing.  Having said that, most 4-month-olds probably aren't eating anything more strenuous than pureed baby food or cereals mixed with breastmilk, formula, or water.  Perhaps yogurt.  Developmentally, most babies lack the appropriate reflexes to allow them to truly &quot;eat&quot;.  The beginnings of chewing don't start to appear in children until they're 5-9 months old, and it's a truly rudimentary movement of simply moving the jaw up and down in a munching motion.  &lt;em&gt;If&lt;/em&gt; her child were able to get a sizeable portion of the Peep into her mouth, he/she would be physically unable to chew it at 4 months.  This is an obvious choking hazard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;However&lt;/em&gt; this is your friend's child and not yours.  While I can appreciate your concern for you friend's child, it's unlikely that there's anything in the Peep that will hurt him/her &lt;strong&gt;this once&lt;/strong&gt;.  The immediate threat to the child was choking and, since that apparently didn't happen, he/she is probably ok.  Depending on your relationship with your friend, you could certainly try talking to her.  You might try asking her what other types of foods she's tried giving her baby.  You &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt; want to insinuate to her that she's being a bad mother.  Sometimes parents get a little over-excited when their child starts to show interest in eating real food rather than being purely breast/formula fed, and it can be tempting to suddenly start giving them all kinds of foods. If you don't have kids of your own, you can't go in there and start telling her what to feed her baby.  That will start an argument and you'll lose a friend (and trust me when I tell you that all women 4 months postpartum need their friends).  Your best bet is to get her to access the information she all ready knows to help her make better decisions later--or motivate her to search out the answers to questions on her own. If she's started her baby on solid foods, you might ask a question like, &quot;You know, I don't have any kids, when do you know they're ready to eat solid foods?  And what are the kinds of things they can eat at first?  What have you tried? (If she mentions Peeps, you might say Weren't you afraid Baby X would choke?)&quot; and that kind of thing.  I'm guessing she just got excited.  No harm this time, but next time could be disastrous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-03-18T14:05:44.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7648" CreationDate="2013-03-18T22:16:55.027" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recall having dinner with some friends either shortly before or shortly after our first child was born.  We must have appeared shocked at something they let their toddler get away with, although I don't recall what it was, because they jokingly commented about how much more protective parents are of their first child compared to their youngest.  At the time it seemed improbable.  Now it seems perfectly logical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are instinctively hardwired to put anything and everything into their mouths.  No matter how attentive you think you are, every kid will at least once manage to eat some dirt, or a bug, or some soap, or even some candy, and they turn out okay.  It wasn't too many generations ago that kids lived on dirt floors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, it doesn't follow that you shouldn't &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; to prevent them from eating something harmful by accident, but unless the peeps are a large part of her diet, by far the biggest risk is choking, and you can mostly mitigate that by either cutting it into very small pieces, or holding one end so the baby can't accidentally swallow it.  A little indulgence every now and then never hurt anyone.  In fact, there's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nbcnews.com/id/32480988/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/#.UUeOmxyG1oM&quot;&gt;evidence&lt;/a&gt; that shows the exact opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-18T22:16:55.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6288" CreationDate="2013-03-19T10:58:45.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know what you're going through, my daughter flips over and also cries non stop, until either 1 of us goes in there and turn her over instantly she back to sleep quietly. I feel so tired from doing this 3 or 4 * a night. There is no solution. She has to learn how to turn over maybe practicing with her, even that hasn't worked for us.  When it's time to go to sleep  I usually would put a pillow to block her from turning over. I will leave the door open and check on her every 5 minutes. When she's finally asleep I will take the pillow out of the crib. When I put the pillow in the crib I make sure that it is as low as her hips, just enough to boost her back to her position.  I could say that's the best I could do because through the night she will keep movin and turning over and I wouldn't ever leave the pillow in the crib it's not safe so don't lay down while you wait. I know someday this too will end. : .. (&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4066" LastEditorUserId="4066" LastEditDate="2013-03-19T11:22:02.537" LastActivityDate="2013-03-19T11:22:02.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6064" CreationDate="2013-03-19T14:51:07.760" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter who is 2 years 3 months is going through the same issue right now, but to be honest she never slept well. We tried so many thing, but letting her cry eventually worked for us. But, eventually she stopped, and started having trouble. We modified her diet because we found she didn't do well with dairy products, and were suprised to see how many things contained dairy. BUT BUT BUT....here is one thing we never thought of, and sometimes many seem to not think of. Get you son/daughter tested to see if they are vitamin deficient. We found out almost 2 years later than she was very low in IRON.....yes IRON, and Vitamin D. We staretd including these  and it was a immediate change. I would highly suggest gettinghis/her blood looked at. It was hard at first but a miracle at the end. She is having trouble again sleeping, but is cutting her 2 year molors so we aren't sure if that is the cause. But we will be putting her to bed a little later than normal aroun 945 now. The whole day light savings time threw her way off. She does complaint hat she has nightmares, but at this age it's one thing at a time. I highly suggest get your child's blood levels looked at. That's all I can provide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4068" LastActivityDate="2013-03-19T14:51:07.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3855" CreationDate="2013-03-19T15:52:42.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lack of sleep is linked to behavioural disorders in children and a range of medical conditions in adults, including myocardial infarction and obesity. Lack of sleep increases hunger. I don't have any citations, but I'm a doctor and have attended plenty of lectures given by eminent professors in sleep studies. Also I think most of us would agree that we eat more junk when we're tired. I would be happier that my child sleeps with the white noise than not to sleep at all. Of course in the ideal world, our children would be able to magically fall asleep at will but you're one of the few if you have kids like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4071" LastActivityDate="2013-03-19T15:52:42.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7655" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7658" CreationDate="2013-03-19T21:01:30.537" Score="4" ViewCount="6870" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll start by saying I don't think it's a hearing problem, as she uses a normal voice in non-excited conversation, and can hear questions asked to her in a normal voice (aside from what I suspect is normal tuning-out of my voice...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter is in situations where she's excited, she frequently yells at a volume that's way louder than appropriate, given her proximity to other people. It sometimes happens when we're in groups, playing outside, or if she's watching TV and she wants to tell me about something she saw that she really liked. As a specific example, I was helping her off the swing today and her sandal fell off - she shouted &quot;MY SHOE!!!&quot; right in my face as it happened. It comes out sounding angry, though I'm pretty sure that's not intentional - it's just really loud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it takes time to learn what's appropriate for a situation, but when can I expect my child to start using an appropriate volume when speaking in excitement? I feel like I'm constantly asking her to speak more quietly, and constantly giving reminders, but any improvement is minor at best, and it usually only applies to her current thoughts - the next time there's an exciting situation she's back to yelling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is continual reinforcement and reminders the best approach here? Is she too young to understand the concept at 5, and I should just relax? I feel like I'm constantly shooshing her, and it's not my intent to curtail what she's saying, but sometimes my frustration manifests itself as stopping her speech rather than adjusting her volume, so I'm hoping for a new approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4074" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T12:44:18.133" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T12:44:18.133" Title="5 year old always yells when excited, and isn't learning when to use quieter voices" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7655" CreationDate="2013-03-20T00:19:44.783" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found that using hand signals is often more effective than verbal communication or shooshing.  She &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; old enough to learn to be quiet, but you're going to have to decide how important it is to you.  If your reminders aren't enough of a deterrent for her, the next stage of escalation is to give her consequences when she requires reminding.  A fairly mild consequence would be causing a delay in your response when she talks too loudly.  &quot;I'll be happy to hear all about it in a couple minutes when you can speak at an appropriate level.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you can't really give her a consequence without quelling her enthusiasm, which is why most parents I know are fairly choosy about the circumstances they enforce.  In a quiet church, I'm really strict.  On a playground, I let it go with a reminder.  Inside at home, somewhere in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-20T00:19:44.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7655" CreationDate="2013-03-20T03:06:22.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you had her hearing tested? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We thought our lad's hearing was good since he'd hear what was said across a room, even if was not directed to him, and contribute to the conversation - indicating that he'd correctly heard what was said. After an audiology test, it turned out that his ears were full of fluid and he could hear nothing under 30dB .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His ears were drained and grommits installed, giving him perfect hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-03-20T03:06:22.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7655" CreationDate="2013-03-20T12:41:05.490" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Five is not too young to understand the concept of volume, but it can be tough for a child that age to restrain the impulse to yell without a reminder. A mildly silly strategy that works on my kindergartener is saying, &quot;I can't understand you,&quot; when he yells. It has evolved from, &quot;I can't understand you when you're that loud,&quot; and (when we started doing it) would include an explanation that I could understand normal volume better than shouting: even though I could &lt;em&gt;hear&lt;/em&gt; what was coming out of his mouth, I couldn't &lt;em&gt;comprehend it&lt;/em&gt; well. Now, it is a neutral reminder to dial down the volume, conveying that I'd like to be able to understand what's being said but the volume is getting in the way of communication. My goal is to eventually translate this into hand signals so I can just point at my ears (or something similar) and he realizes that he's too loud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(For what it's worth, he knows this is a mildly bogus position on my part and has occasionally yelled even louder that he knows I can hear him, but that's usually when he's angry rather than excited; the majority of the time it just gets him to repeat himself at a more reasonable level. And just because this strategy works for us, doesn't mean it's universally ideal for all kids.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;@dave's suggestion to get her hearing checked is also important, though -- minor hearing problems can fly under the radar and it's best to rule that out as a possibility (or figure out how to address it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-03-20T12:41:05.490" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7659" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7660" CreationDate="2013-03-20T17:29:40.743" Score="9" ViewCount="342" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question is hard to word correctly without sounding like we're trying to avoid responsibility.  That's not the case.  The issue is that our children behave better for us than for their teachers.  You only have to think about how differently the exact same class behaves for a substitute teacher to show that discipline is highly dependent on the adult in the room &lt;em&gt;at the moment&lt;/em&gt;, but obviously parents also have an effect.  My question is &lt;em&gt;how much&lt;/em&gt; of a parental effect is reasonable to expect, and how can it be increased?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things we have tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discussing respect and behavioral expectations before and after school.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discussing peer pressure and how they should deal with it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Attaching rewards and consequences at home to behavior at school.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Communicating what works for us at home to the teacher:  motivators, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trying to uncover environmental factors (are they too tired, hungry, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else can we try?  At what point do we just have to depend on the teacher to maintain discipline in her classroom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-20T19:04:41.407" Title="How can parents improve a child's behavior outside their presence?" Tags="|behavior|school|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7659" CreationDate="2013-03-20T18:55:27.253" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have seen a lot of other people's kids over the decades I've been a parent. At first I found it a paradox: the kids who were the best behaved in the presence of their parents were often the worst behaved when their parents weren't looking. Eventually I realized there was no paradox at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Extrinsic motivation works quickly and well, but only in circumstances where the child knows it can apply&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Intrinsic motivation takes longer, but works all the time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Past a certain age, a child who knows no-one is looking, or that no-one who is looking can or will report to the parents, may misbehave feeling free of consequence. Another child will do the right thing because it is right, no matter who is looking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extrinsic motivation gets the behaviour you want (sitting quietly, saying please) started, especially if there's an element of &amp;quot;getting in trouble&amp;quot; associated with the wrong behaviour. Praising the behaviour you want, and modelling it yourself, is more likely to kick in the intrinsic motivation. Consider the likelihood that either parent would go outside completely naked. What stops you? It's not that you might get in trouble, right? That's what you want internalized for the kids in terms of hitting, taking, yelling, being rude, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concrete example. We are in the grocery store. The 3-year old is yelling very loudly. It doesn't matter whether it's with joy and delight, or as part of an attempt to get something bought, or a reaction to something not being bought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extrinsic motivations: Stop yelling or I will spank you. No yelling in the store! Stop yelling or we're leaving right now! One!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intrinsic motivation: These people didn't come here to listen to you yell. The store is not a yelling place. I know you can behave quietly in the store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than telling the child your rules, and demanding they follow them, you're reminding the child of the impartial and universal laws of the universe (yes, I know, you set them, but there is nonetheless a difference) and you're not the one imposing consequences for breaking them, or even suggesting that it's possible to break them, or that they have a choice to break them or not. You might think these wording differences are irrelevant, but it's my experience that they are not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The list of things you've tried in the question all feel like ramping up the extrinsic motivation. What you really want to do is ramp it down, for certain &amp;quot;baseline&amp;quot; behaviours that just cover &amp;quot;being a nice person&amp;quot;. When they do something nice, point it out. Encourage them to enjoy being aware of having done a nice thing. Encourage them to do the right thing not as a way to stay out of trouble, but because it's the right thing. As they get older you can move more things from the &amp;quot;because I said so&amp;quot; category into the &amp;quot;because it's right&amp;quot; category.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-03-20T19:04:41.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7662" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-20T21:45:34.510" Score="3" ViewCount="2055" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 3 year old who is wonderful (most of the time ;). Somedays, however, she will not settle down and take a nap. We wakeup, go to sleep and nap on the same schedule everyday. If she doesn't sleep in the afternoon, she is terrible to her little 2 yr old brother... and defiant to us... We've tried all sorts of stuff read in books, hinted by parents ect... (we always read books after lunch, before nap, after getting jammies on... very routine home) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has begun to wiggle and spit and laugh at mama when she's trying to rock her. She yells in bed, bangs the walls, etc... OOOOOO! It really get's to you. We are patient, but need something else. Just looking for MORE IDEAS!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4078" LastActivityDate="2013-05-26T14:43:40.567" Title="3 year old will not take a nap some days" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7662" CreationDate="2013-03-21T07:56:59.120" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the days when she won't take a nap, can you just leave her in her room for quiet time?  When our daughter started to outgrow her afternoon naps, we allowed her to play quietly in her room for the time allotted for a nap.  Sometimes she would end up sleeping, sometimes she would play and just watch the clock for the time to get up to arrive.  But it at least allowed the rest of us some respite.  And if her body was tired even though she was determined not to nap, the quiet time allowed her body to get its way and get some sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-03-21T07:56:59.120" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7665" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7668" CreationDate="2013-03-21T09:11:07.053" Score="20" ViewCount="2414" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yesterday we (wife, 3 year old son, 6 year old daughter, me) were at a mall. After we stepped off the moving pavement my son decided that he wants to go another direction, and pulled his hand out of mine. I told him OK, but we'll go away, and stepped away from him about 5 meters. He stopped and started yelling: father, come here. I said him without loud voice that if he wanted to come with us, then come to me. But he didn't come to me, he sat down to the floor instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me and my wife started a conversation while my son was sitting there. BTW he is very loud. (I had asked other parents about it previously and they said that it is true; I'm not making it up.) Anyway after a minute some woman wen't to him and started asking him about his father. I told her that he was yelling to me. That lady came to me and said that if I were in Canada - I'm Hungarian - some police man would punish me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A minute after that two other lady joined her giving me advice what to do with my son. They told me the mall isn't the right place to educate my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me it was a clear situation: my son wanted to go away from safety, after that he had the choice to rejoin us, but he choose tantrum instead. He was loud, he looked desperate, but I knew he wanted to be the boss. But in those ladies eyes I was a heartless father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my questions:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;1. If I am in public do I have to stop my son's tantrum at all cost, even if I lose that &quot;battle&quot;?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2. I didn't understand that Canada thing. Did she just make that up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4081" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-03-22T14:56:13.433" LastActivityDate="2013-03-22T14:56:13.433" Title="3 year old tantrums in public" Tags="|tantrums|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7665" CreationDate="2013-03-21T12:46:45.970" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ahhh, I just LOVE people who correct other parents in public. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You weren't endangering him; you were right there, waiting out the tantrum.  IMHO those women had no business stepping in unless you were endangering your child, and sitting out a tantrum is NOT abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FWIW, I do one of two things when one of mine have a tantrum in public.  (A) let them scream it out in public and just wait it out or (B) drop everything and haul them out of there.  It depends on what the tantrum is about (i.e., if they want to leave, we stay and wait it out; if leaving will make them think twice about doing it again, we're gone)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm in the US, so I can't speak to Canadian laws, but it sounds like a lot of bluster from a busybody.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-03-21T12:46:45.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7665" CreationDate="2013-03-21T13:57:46.787" Score="10" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If I am in public do I have to stop my son's tantrum at all cost, even if I lose that &quot;battle&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You are the parent. You make the rules.&lt;/strong&gt; If you feel that stopping the tantrum is most important, even more important than the potential for learning, then do what you can to stop the tantrum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal opinion is that this sounds like giving in -- what you call &quot;losing the battle&quot; -- and that's something that will undermine your authority as a parent. I recommend to &lt;strong&gt;not give in to the tantrum, &lt;em&gt;ever.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I didn't understand that Canada thing. Did she just make that up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know Canadian laws either, but &lt;strong&gt;it sounds like a false warning.&lt;/strong&gt; There's probably some law that says you may not leave your small child unattended, but you weren't doing that. As far as I can tell, you did nothing wrong and these other people came and interfered where they have no business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-03-21T13:57:46.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7665" CreationDate="2013-03-21T15:34:26.003" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are three factors you have to balance: safety for your child, teaching proper behavior, and respect for others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, safety for your child is the first and foremost concern.  What you did (stand nearby while he sat down and had a tantrum) sounds like there was no danger to him, so that's not a concern in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What constitutes respect for others depends on the location.  If I'm in a quiet restaurant (or even a not-so-quiet restaurant), and my son starts to get too loud, and won't quiet down, I'll pick him up and walk outside.  Frankly, I wish more parents did this.  However, in some restaurants I don't bother, since screaming kids becomes something of an expectation (McDonalds, for instance, if for some reason we ever found ourselves in one).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure I would let my son sit in the middle of a crowded mall and scream, but that probably depends on the mall (if there's already a lot of background noise, for example, I'd be more inclined to let it happen).  However, under no circumstances would I &quot;give in&quot; and let my son have his way, or even engage in that sort of behavior without some sort of natural consequences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you want to ensure that you teach proper behavior, and throwing a temper tantrum in a public place is not proper behavior.  Giving in teaches a child that throwing a tantrum will get them what they want (at least some of the time), and encourage future episodes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I don't think you did anything wrong, although if it were a relatively quiet mall, I might have taken a slightly different approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the women who approached you: that is one of my big pet peeves.  It seems that there are a LOT of random people who like to dispense &quot;advice&quot; to parents that aren't doing things the way &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; would handle it.  In my experience, most of these people would handle whatever situation they stick their nose into incredibly poorly.  Personally, I think that behavior like that (dispensing unwanted advice to strangers) is a sign of a major personality flaw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I very much doubt that anything you described could get you &quot;punished&quot; by a policeman.  It sounds like she was just spouting nonsense.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much like the idea that &quot;the mall isn't the right place to educate [your] son&quot;.  That's complete nonsense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were me, I probably would have responded to that comment by saying &quot;&lt;em&gt;everywhere&lt;/em&gt; is the 'right place' to educate a child.  If you think that there are some places where a child should be allowed to do what they want, rather than learn proper behavior, well... I just hope you don't ever have children, as they'd most likely grow to be at least as rude as you are.&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-03-21T15:34:26.003" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7665" CreationDate="2013-03-21T18:43:32.097" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tantrums are about garnering attention.  That's what differentiates them from merely crying.  It's not just, &quot;I'm upset because I wanted to go the other way,&quot; it's, &quot;I'm upset because I wanted to go the other way and I'm going to hold everyone's attention until I get what I want.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's why the &quot;wait it out&quot; technique doesn't work very well in public, although it might be the best technique at home.  If the parents don't provide the attention, someone else will.  It's part of human nature.  I've seen people give attention or even give in altogether to tantrums of other people's children, when I know for a fact they wait out their own children's tantrums.  Wishing people would mind their own business doesn't make it so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are also somehow instinctively aware of this fact, which is why they will try tantrums in public even after they've mostly stopped them at home.  In other words, you have to educate them in public if you want them to behave in public.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you don't have to give in, either.  Just take him to a private place, like out to the car, or to a restroom, then do whatever you would do at home.  Sometimes you might even have to go home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea that helps in this particular circumstance is to explain beforehand what's going to happen.  One time we took a long road trip and my four year-old foster daughter was whining and squirming and asking when we were going to get there for the first hour of the trip.  We finally &quot;had enough&quot; and told her we were going to be driving for a long time, then eat, then drive for a while longer, then sleep, then drive the next day, so please don't ask anymore.  She replied, &quot;so forever and ever,&quot; then to our surprise she immediately calmed down and happily settled in for the rest of the drive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may seem normal to you, but a walk through a mall is a &lt;em&gt;long&lt;/em&gt; way for a three year-old, and for some strange reason you're walking past all the interesting stuff.  Explaining how it's going to go, and maybe planning a stop for him to catch his breath, could help avoid the tantrum altogether next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-21T18:43:32.097" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2013-03-21T23:22:45.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most kids tend to be scared when learning how to ride their bike. They always doubt themselves. What I would do is pretty simple. Put his/her bike in a tall ditch and tell them to pedal. If they fall they won't get hurt because the high ditch will catch them. Hope it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4090" LastEditorUserId="4031" LastEditDate="2013-03-26T16:52:32.047" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T16:52:32.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7673" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-22T14:16:25.307" Score="12" ViewCount="375" Body="&lt;p&gt;It has become well documented that raising a child in a bilingual environment has numerous developmental benefits. These seem to largely center on increased vocabulary and situational awareness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither my wife nor I are deaf, however I have learned a fair amount of sign language from time spent working with deaf coworkers. It seems like it would be a great way to provide an alternate method of communicating in environments where verbal communication is not possible (extremely loud environments and/or environments where quiet is required). As such, we are considering raising our future child to be bilingual in English and American Sign Language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we went that route, would the same developmental benefits apply as a child in a bilingual household who learns two verbal languages?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T13:18:45.170" Title="Will teaching American Sign Language provide the same developmental benefits as a bilingual household?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|sign-language|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7676" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7681" CreationDate="2013-03-23T13:29:52.897" Score="4" ViewCount="168" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of the most fun places to vacation also have pretty big down sides, which is what I mean by &quot;opposite extremes.&quot;  A theme park, for example, has a few minutes of extreme fun, followed by being kicked off the ride, out into the heat and the crowds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of our daughters is especially sensitive to this due to her cerebral palsy.  When she finds something fun she latches onto it.  She would be perfectly content riding the same ride &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; day.  Crowds are also extra stressful for her.  If you think it's hard walking through a crowd, try driving a wheelchair through one sometime.  The other kids deal with the ups and downs somewhat better, but also take cues from their older sister.  When she cries they all cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What ideas do people have for still letting children enjoy the highlights, but minimizing the trauma in between?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-24T20:37:22.153" Title="How to deal with vacation spots with opposite extremes?" Tags="|travel|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7673" CreationDate="2013-03-23T17:03:53.600" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sources- Talking Hands by M. Fox &amp;amp; an ASL class I took.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see you are sold on the idea of raising a bilingual kid-- me too, baby just arrived last month, and we're doing Russian, English with ASL. Since I live up the road from Gallaudet, I thought might as well learn real ASL and not baby ASL.  Baby ASL is anywhere from 20-50 signs that are used just when baby is in that time gap between being able to learn &amp;amp; use signs but can't enunciate a spoken language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your question really pivots on if ASL is a language. Amazingly, before around 1950, academics didn't consider sign languages to be real languages-- hard to say what they thought, but probably they imagined it fell in the range of gesture systems like baseball signs, or what a street mime does, or something like that.  Another hurdle ASL had to over come was if it was just a way of &quot;writing&quot; English with your hands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nowadays there is no question that ASL is a language, and distinct from English.  The grammar is quite alien as compared to English or any other European language you may have studied in high school. It's topic-comment, not subject-object-verb, adjective strings follow then noun (but single adjectives can go before or after the noun). In a lot of jurisdictions it counts as a language for foreign language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the boundary between parents using baby ASL and those raising bilingual sign/English children is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sheer quantity of vocabulary, baby ASL tops out at 50 or so words, conversational ASL requires 500-1000+ words just to squeak by&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;usage of ASL word order &amp;amp; grammatical markers (esp the grammatical facial expressions). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you can code switch (i.e. switch to ASL without talking and still be understood)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyhow, as experiments go, the research says it is hard to do it badly enough to cause harm and the main risk is that the child just doesn't learn the minority language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-03-23T17:03:53.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7616" CreationDate="2013-03-23T21:38:03.290" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hate this answer, but: it depends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mathematics alone won't do anything. In your observation you are correlating mathematics skills with personal behaviour. What you can't see is whether math made them who they are or who they are makes it easy for them to understand math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focusing on becoming very good at something is character building. Encouraging your child to become top at something and going down &lt;em&gt;a&lt;/em&gt; (means: precisely one, even in this figure of speech) road with your kid for years will definetly be character building. Yet, it doesn't need to be math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, a lot of our lives comes down to math. From telling time, buying gum with pocket money to making and understanding long term desicions and developments. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0ghHia-M54&quot;&gt;Understanding exponential growth&lt;/a&gt; can unravel a lot of secrets of our everyday life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course you are always better off if you understand that you are spending monney even when the add tells you you are saving a buck or two ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4104" LastActivityDate="2013-03-23T21:38:03.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7662" CreationDate="2013-03-24T19:00:46.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son gave up naps around age 3.  It wasn't ideal.  He just decided he didn't want to nap anymore.  I think some of this stemmed from the fact that he saw his baby sister taking naps during the day and decided that naps were for babies.  Every so often, like if he's sick, he'll take a nap.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite this, though, he &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; has a daily quiet time.  It may involve playing quietly, coloring, looking at books, playing with Legos, but, more often than not, vegging out on the couch and watching an age-appropriate show or two.  The deal is that he can't make a lot of noise (so as not to wake up his sister--in fact, he's not even allowed upstairs while she's sleeping), and he can't disturb us (Mom and Dad) as we frequently use that time to clean, check email, make phone calls, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've also rolled back his bedtime to ensure that he's getting plenty of sleep at night.  He was becoming insanely cranky as the evening wore on and we finally explained to him that if he wasn't going to take a nap then he HAD to go to bed earlier to make sure he was getting enough sleep.  He didn't like it at first, but he's settled in to the routine and generally falls asleep very quickly at night now (because he's exhausted!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing to consider is that this might just be a temporary power-struggle thing.  She's 3--it's entirely possible that she's just flexing her 3-year-old muscles to see what she can get away with.  I had a friend of mine whose daughter tried the same thing around age 3.  She eventually went back to taking naps again a few months later on her own.  In the meantime, I think if you try to force it, your daughter will just try to fight harder to avoid the nap.  Giving her a quiet place (it doesn't have to be her bedroom) where she can sit alone and do something quietly until naptime is over might be your best option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-03-24T19:00:46.713" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7616" CreationDate="2013-03-24T20:11:46.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the causation is flipped. In my experience, getting very good at anything, but especially at something abstract like math, is difficult. People who overcome initial difficulties to become good at something generally do so because they have a strong character. A few do so because their parents essentially force them to (music lessons come to mind), but typically, they later don't mention or show those abilities, preventing you from correlating the abilities with their character.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's more, having lots of strength and confidence is not the same as having a good character. Some adults use their math skills, their speaking skills, and their confidence to hurt others by taking unfair advantage of them and cheating them. I wouldn't call that having a good character.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Math is useful. Encourage your children to learn it: I did.&lt;/strong&gt; But you teach them how to have a strong character and be a good person by teaching them character and goodness, not teaching them math and hoping it will magically make them better at those things. Working towards improvement at anything (math, music, figure skating, cooking, painting, science, writing, poetry...) will teach the values of perserverance, patience, and consistency. Being pushed into working at something you don't like and aren't good at, especially when the work is not its own reward but is something to make you stronger later, is something I would not have wanted done to me. I think it might even backfire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-03-24T20:11:46.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7676" CreationDate="2013-03-24T20:37:22.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an interesting question, but perhaps not &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; much different than trying to do a theme-park with younger children.  It sounds like you, like most parents, want to maximize the amount of time/fun you and your kids have in the theme park before they burn out for the day.  The most obvious way to do this is to minimize the amount of time between rides, and find fun things to do that aren't necessarily rides which allow your kids to get a bit of a rest.  Here are some of my thoughts initially:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be selective about the time of year you choose to travel to these destinations.  This may or may not be an option for you, but trying to travel to major theme parks during peak travel seasons is going to (obviously) be more stressful.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you cannot change your season of travel (working around school schedules is obviously a big deal), then visiting theme parks during the week might net you larger returns than on a weekend.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As amazing as theme parks are, sometimes they are best viewed in small chunks rather than all at once.  Visiting the park over the course of several days would allow you to ride 3-5 rides that are closer together multiple times over the course of half a day rather than try to visit 15 rides that are spread out all over the park over the course of a full day but only once.  This would also mean that you could visit either early in the day or later in the evening when it's not as hot and probably not quite as busy.  The down-side of this is that it might be prohibitively expensive.  Many &lt;em&gt;major&lt;/em&gt; theme parks provide multi-day passes, but not all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disney has recently started offering a FASTPASS which allows you to minimize your wait-time at many of their more popular rides.  I'm sure it costs extra, but it might be worth the extra money for you if you're looking at visiting Disney.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It might be worth it to you to visit a smaller theme park that's not as busy which &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; allow your daughter to ride the same ride over and over again.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;IF you are planning to visit one of the Disney parks, they have software called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ridemax.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;RideMax&lt;/a&gt;.  There are some great reviews from parents who have children with disabilities who have used RideMax combined with the FASTPASS system.  It costs about $15.00 and allows you to plan which attractions you want to visit using wait-time data gathered from the Disney parks over the past 6+ years.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whichever park you're planning on visiting, certainly contact their guest services and see what kind of accomodations they have for visitors in wheelchairs.  They might provide transportation that can move you through the park faster than having to push her from point A to point B all the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't overlook the shows.  So many theme-parks have really good shows that are air-conditioned, much less of an emotional high/low situation, and allow you and your family to catch a breather before moving on to the next big attraction.  Even at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dollywood.com/themepark.aspx?cid=ppc_000013&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dollywood&lt;/a&gt; (the big theme park closest to where I grew up) where most of the stages are covered, open-air situations, a good ceiling fan and water or lemonade can go a long way toward revitalizing everyone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wherever you're going, I think having a plan is the key and being realistic about what your family can handle.  Some people (especially older kids) thrive on going to a theme park with no plan, a park map, and all day to go wherever they want.  I don't think this is realistic for large groups or families with younger children.  Downloading a park map and making a plan might help your daughter to know what to expect.  Yes, she had an awesome time on ride X, but we're planning on visiting ride Y next which she's also looking forward to riding, too.  If she's old enough, having her help plan out the itinerary or being in charge of the itinerary might help her make the transition from one ride to the next without mourning having to leave the one behind she just REALLY enjoyed. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-03-24T20:37:22.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7616" CreationDate="2013-03-25T13:20:08.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know how much it builds character, but it provides one with an alternative (and perhaps even refined) &lt;strong&gt;way of thinking about problems&lt;/strong&gt; (and perhaps even, the world). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It never hurts to have different ways of thinking about problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also like to add that &lt;strong&gt;learning how to write computer programs&lt;/strong&gt; provides one with another way of thinking about the world, which is different from mathematics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-03-25T13:20:08.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7685" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7689" CreationDate="2013-03-25T17:06:09.920" Score="7" ViewCount="320" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five year-old son has started this phase of turning everything into a contest.  Partially this a result of our encouragement.  We will sometimes &quot;race&quot; him when he is dragging his feet and slowing down the family.  However, I think some of it is fueled by his friends at school, because he's started some unsportsmanlike behavior, like singing &quot;I beat you, I beat you, na na na na naaa naaa.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been correcting his unsportsmanlike responses, but I'm wondering if we should be looking deeper.  In a lot of the cases, he only wins because one of us has helped him, or because he has two years more experience than his sister, but he doesn't recognize that.  For example, we &quot;beat&quot; my wife to church yesterday, but only because she helped all the kids, including him, get ready before she took care of herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is, should we burst his bubble about his &quot;winning,&quot; or should we let him think he's won and just continue to teach him to be sportsmanlike about it?  We do make a point to praise him for wins due to his legitimate efforts, or even failures if he tried his best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is related to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/7393/644&quot;&gt;Should you let a toddler win?&lt;/a&gt;, but different in that I'm not wondering whether to &lt;em&gt;let&lt;/em&gt; him win, but to what degree we should point out when winning had little or nothing to do with his individual effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-03-25T22:37:13.770" Title="When to tell a child he didn't really win" Tags="|behavior|competitiveness|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7686" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-25T18:22:16.183" Score="8" ViewCount="1032" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 3,5y old. Generally he's a good boy. But whenever he can he is very annoying at some time and just refuses to listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example he will take my cell phone and when we ask to give it back, it goes to the floor. Then I tell him to come to me so I can tell him that's not ok. But he just won't listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it's near bedtime we just put him to bed, but otherwise we put him 3 minutes in solitary in the hall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still all of this is just one big fun for him. I'd say he's looking for attention but he gets all the attention he needs. Often right after we have been playing and doing fun stuff he goes into this behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope any of you have been through the same and can offer me some advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4110" LastEditorUserId="1290" LastEditDate="2014-06-26T06:27:55.850" LastActivityDate="2014-06-26T06:27:55.850" Title="How to punish &quot;unpunishable&quot; 3y old" Tags="|discipline|time-out|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7686" CreationDate="2013-03-25T22:02:48.373" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I think you are already doing the right thing with your early bedtime / 3m solitary approach. I think its important for you to realise that every child (and adult) will play up and be very annoying at times. It is all part of growing up, and learning and establishing boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the important thing you need to do, is to be consistent. If the same &quot;crime&quot; gets the same punishment all the time, your child will soon learn that particular boundary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will then move on to the next one...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-03-25T22:02:48.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7686" CreationDate="2013-03-25T22:28:02.850" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no easy solution, but a good general approach in addition to consistent consequences is validation and teaching an alternative.  Kids have feelings and they want to express them, but need to be taught socially acceptable ways to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when he takes your cell phone, &lt;strong&gt;validation&lt;/strong&gt; is acknowledging you understand why he took it.  The &lt;strong&gt;alternative&lt;/strong&gt; to be taught is he needs to ask you first, so you say something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know phones are fun to play with. I like them too, but you need to ask me first if it's okay, because it belongs to me and I would be sad if it got broken.  Bring it to me, please.  Say, &quot;Can I play with the phone?&quot;  Okay, later on after time out you can try again to ask the right way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, in the heat of the moment, a conversation like that isn't always feasible, so sometimes we do it after the time out.  It gives a chance for both parent and child to calm down and take a step back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-25T22:28:02.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7685" CreationDate="2013-03-25T22:37:13.770" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;All children go through a phase of 'gloating' at some point. I think your idea of teaching  sporting behaviour is the right approach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did this with our kids-when they were young they all had phases of gloating about winning, but we educated them to behave in a sporting manner and backed off on letting them win so they began to get approval from us for winning through their own efforts, and just for trying their best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-03-25T22:37:13.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7690" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7713" CreationDate="2013-03-26T04:22:48.130" Score="6" ViewCount="474" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yesterday for some reason I was quite depressed and frightened at night. For the first time I felt the baby kicking all night in my womb (6th month).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, that can be a coincidence.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways, does the baby in the womb get effected by the mental state of the mother? In what way if yes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T01:31:52.957" Title="Does the baby in the womb get effected by the mental state of the mother?" Tags="|development|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7691" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7697" CreationDate="2013-03-26T04:51:44.330" Score="13" ViewCount="6147" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 30 years old married. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother (50 years old) keeps on telling me that *&quot;Your cousin didn’t have problems with &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; then why are you having problems with the same thing/situation!&quot;*&lt;br&gt;&#xA;*&quot;&lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; (Referring to herself) didn't have any problems with &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt;, then why do you have the problems with the same thing/situation!&quot;*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your cousins don't have a problem going to their house to meet their parents, why do you have a problem to coming to your house to meet your parents!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, she is not illiterate or step mother. She has two graduate degrees and one master's degree. She is a teacher too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example cases:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;During my honeymoon my parents kept on ringing me &lt;em&gt;many times per day&lt;/em&gt; to ask whether I had eaten lunch, what I was doing, why didn't or did I go there etc.&#xA;When I returned back I told her that she didn't need to keep on constantly ringing me since I was on my honeymoon and wanted some peace alone.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She replied, &lt;em&gt;&quot;I had called your cousin too many times when she was on her honeymoon, she didn't any problems, then why are you having problems?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Now, I have told her that I'll be having a Ceserian delivery and therefore won't be comfortable much and in a presentable situation at that moment so I won't like other relatives to come to the hospital the very same day for seeing me. I requested her to tell them to come some other day. To which she again replied that &lt;em&gt;&quot;I and your cousin didn't have any problems with relatives visiting in the hospital then why are you having problem?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does she actually need to be told that I am NOT a clone of anyone in this world? Is her behavior normal?&lt;/strong&gt; HUH! And after all this she keeps on wondering why I don't love her and welcome her in my house!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-03T04:33:37.003" LastActivityDate="2017-01-03T04:33:37.003" Title="Why does my mother expect me to behave like others and herself?" Tags="|adult-child|relationships|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7692" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7694" CreationDate="2013-03-26T05:29:45.803" Score="4" ViewCount="1107" Body="&lt;p&gt;My cousin's daughter is now &lt;strong&gt;3.5 years&lt;/strong&gt; old. She still uses diapers all the time and does not tell ever that she needs to go to the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I wish to know how to teach a child from the beginning itself to &quot;tell&quot; when she needs to go to the toilet and not to sit silently and do the deeds in her pants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to know that the child is ready to learn this, and the way out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-26T08:42:12.613" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T08:42:12.613" Title="How to teach a child to &quot;tell&quot; when she needs to go to the toilet?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|potty-training|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7693" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-26T05:37:12.817" Score="10" ViewCount="2086" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in a situation where I'm really not sure what the best course of action is. Today I promised my younger sister that I would give her $100 if she worked up to running 3 miles. As proud as I was that she ran the distance, I was a bit disheartened that she was able to run it on the day I made the deal with her. I was expecting a few weeks of training with the hope of her building momentum towards exercising regularly. Reluctantly, I paid up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problem is, just a few moments ago, she was caught stealing makeup from a store. Not a huge deal it seemed at first, but she had about $600 worth and it was apparently far from the first time. She's likely stolen over $1000 worth of it over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our father is deceased and our mother is too lenient, so the responsibility of disciplining this sort of thing often falls on me. So, I took back the $100.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister is, of course, in tears about the whole ordeal and accusing me of breaking my promises/going back on my word, etc. Our mother, unfortunately, decided to defend her position and argued that I was now untrustworthy and liar for taking back the money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to teach my sister the consequences of stealing by disciplining her for it. I don't think it's questionable whether this is necessary, but my concern is that there's some truth to their argument and that I'm breaking her trust in me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal position is that this is, if anything, too lenient. Stealing, especially the amount she's stolen, is a very serious problem and by being passive, I believe I would be making it too easy for her to brush this off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is taking the money back a fair punishment? Does it damage my relationship with her?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3929" LastEditorDisplayName="user3929" LastEditDate="2013-03-26T18:38:37.977" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T21:18:18.700" Title="Punishment for stealing?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7692" CreationDate="2013-03-26T07:31:04.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started teaching my son when he turned 2 a couple of months ago. Take her to the &quot;pottie&quot; say every 30min in the beginning and every time she goes praise her for that. Encouraging her will want her to go more, because being praised makes her feel good. Also put some underwear on during the day and not nappies (only when she sleep you should put nappies on), when she is wet she will feel uncomfortable and tell (that is when you show her the pottie and explain she has to go there when she wants to go... Also running the tap while she sits on the pottie also helps a lot....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4023" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T07:31:04.507" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7693" CreationDate="2013-03-26T09:23:50.797" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I'll try to come back and edit my answer when the question is updated &lt;strong&gt;(see &quot;updates&quot; below!)&lt;/strong&gt;, but here's a start:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the family situation you mention, you might need to ensure (or keep) her &lt;strong&gt;trust.&lt;/strong&gt; Show her that you're able to keep things separate -- her achievement is not lessened by her stealing, but &lt;em&gt;rest assured that the stealing will be dealt with too!&lt;/em&gt; I would try to deal with this as two separate things, at two different times. So:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you promised your sister a prize if she achieved a goal. &lt;strong&gt;She has earned this&lt;/strong&gt; and you should keep your promise. Also, adjust your expectations so that your next challenge to her is a real challenge. You could praise her for (positively!) surprising you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, the stealing. &lt;strong&gt;This is serious.&lt;/strong&gt; Your question doesn't explicitly say &lt;em&gt;from where&lt;/em&gt; she stole the goods but I will assume that she stole it from a store, not from your room. This is a criminal offense, and no small value, either! If she had been caught, she'd be facing problems. Serious problems. With &quot;The Law.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you punish, learn her point of view:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that stealing is never okay - &lt;em&gt;ever.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Ask her why she did it.&lt;/strong&gt; Figure out what her motivation was. Was it just for fun? Does she feel pressured by peers to have these items? Did she steal because she wanted &lt;em&gt;the items&lt;/em&gt; or because she wanted to &lt;em&gt;do the deed?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning her motivation is important because you can't adjust behavior if you don't know what causes it. Once you know this, seek her cooperation to think up other ways to achieve what she wants. Be constructive, helpful. Next time she wants &lt;em&gt;(whatever),&lt;/em&gt; get her to tell you and then you can make a plan together -- perhaps she can ask you for another challenge so she can earn some money, or do some extra house chores for money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that you've given her a &quot;way out&quot; in future situations, it's time to look at her crime. &lt;em&gt;It's time for punishment!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she understand that she did wrong? That she should not do it again? That she &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; get caught? (Hopefully by you and not by law enforcement!) &lt;strong&gt;What punishment does &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; think is appropriate?&lt;/strong&gt; Maybe you can work out a settlement - something that certainly is a punishment but perhaps a milder one than you'd have chosen, but she gets some credit for admitting the crime and for working out a punishment. This discussion will tell you whether she has understood the gravity of the situation, and you can adjust your response accordingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, once a punishment is announced, enforce it. Make sure she doesn't walk away from it and if she does, punish for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damocles#Sword_of_Damocles&quot;&gt;threat&lt;/a&gt; you might choose to use is that if you ever catch her stealing again, you'll walk her to the store manager and have her confess. Depending on the crime, and the mood of the person you speak to, this can result in a slap on the wrist, or actual charges. Be careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;$100:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You should &lt;strong&gt;give her back the $100&lt;/strong&gt; that she earned from you. You demonstrate good personality traits  &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; when it's against your interest to keep your promise. Notice the comments by deworde and Beofett!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Stealing from a store:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Does she realize just how merciful that store manager was? She could have gotten into life-altering trouble from that. It would be a valuable experience for her to go back to the store manager and &lt;strong&gt;thank him&lt;/strong&gt; for how he handled it! And, of course, she also needs to apologize sincerely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Punishment:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She doesn't seem to have understood her fault, or doesn't understand that &lt;strong&gt;actions always have consequences.&lt;/strong&gt; As the saying goes, &lt;em&gt;&quot;when you pick up one end of a stick, the other end always comes with it.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Criminal offenses are much worse than putting a dent in mom's car, or eating a sibling's candy. Make your best effort to explain why her suggested punishments aren't appropriate, and then explain why (insert your suggestion) is a suitable punishment. Listen to her complaints about your suggestion and pick her arguments apart with logic and reason. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because you're not her mother, I can't know how much authority you really have, so adjust your suggested punishment to the level that you can &lt;strong&gt;personally&lt;/strong&gt; enforce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that we don't know her age, so perhaps she's really too young to grasp how big her mistake was. But I'm thinking that if she were &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; young, she wouldn't have stolen &lt;em&gt;makeup.&lt;/em&gt; Perhaps I'm guessing poorly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, remember that it's incredibly easy for us Internet strangers to sit here and type out what one could/should/would have done. Actually being in the situation, and having to think up perfect responses, is difficult. Whatever happens, please &lt;strong&gt;don't be too hard on yourself.&lt;/strong&gt; You're making great efforts to handle this well, and that's absolutely commendable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-26T20:19:53.083" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T20:19:53.083" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7693" CreationDate="2013-03-26T09:34:15.430" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think taking back the $100 is fair, you said if she ran 3 miles you'd give her the money and then she did it, so pay up. What you are saying is that you are acting as a parent, and as a parent you must be fair and consistent. Not giving it to her when she's carried out her side of the bargain would not be fair, but giving it to her and then taking it away is not only unfair, but completely inconsistent as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good parenting, or mentoring which is more what you are trying to do, depends on building up a trust relationship. Without trust there is nothing to base a further relationship on, so when you make an agreement you stick to it. Discipline goes both ways. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, so maybe she played you. Maybe she knew she could run 3 miles easy and figured it was an easy $100, if so chalk it up to experience and move on. Or maybe she had no idea she could run 3 miles until she tried it and is surprised at her own abilities. Either way taking the money back is counter-productive. Instead, challenge her to do more. Reward her for running 5 miles, then doing a 10k for charity. If she's good at it and likes it try to get her into a running club or a track team as both experiences may bring her into contact with adults who could mentor her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I talk about rewards I don't mean financial in most cases. Financial rewards don't work that well - once they are paid the receiver tends to think that the deal is done. Instead, offer the things that can't be bought, or used to buy anything - respect and praise. Kids crave these things above all else, but first they have to care what you think, and that means building up your credentials, meaning you have to be fair and honest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T09:34:15.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7691" CreationDate="2013-03-26T13:25:37.863" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your mother may be having difficulty letting go of her control over your life.  The constant comparisons are her way of attempting to guide your behavior to match her expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, this type of behavior doesn't seem that uncommon.  For some parents, the transition from having a child or children who are constantly around, and completely dependent, to adults who now (seemingly suddenly, even though that's not always the case) have their own lives and priorities that seemingly don't include the parent, can be &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empty_nest_syndrome&quot;&gt;exceptionally difficult&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And after all this she keeps on wondering why I don't love her and welcome her in my house!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can sympathize with your feelings on this, but this may be contributing to her behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is an issue of her having problems coping with your independence, then you may be able to help the situation by making sure that you make time for her, and keep in regular contact.  However, that contact will only be productive if it is relatively peaceful and friendly.  If she is constantly needling you, you will become frustrated, and it may wind up creating a strained and tense situation whenever you talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest sitting down with her and telling her how frustrated these comments make you feel.  Keep your comments focused on how &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; feel, and try to avoid mentioning her role (my wife recommends avoiding using &quot;you&quot; as much as possible in the discussion; say &quot;It bothers me when I hear myself being compared to other people like that; it makes me feel like I'm not good enough&quot; rather than &quot;it bothers me when you compare me to other people like that; it feels like you think I'm not good enough&quot;).  This will hopefully make it seem less confrontational and accusatory, and with luck, she'll agree to make an effort to cut back on that, particularly if you are also making it clear that you're trying to spend more time with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several ways you can handle the situation if that doesn't work, but my suggestion is to identify your comfort zone, and set boundaries.  If you're comfortable simply rebutting comments like the ones you describe with a set &quot;well, I'm not so-and-so, and everyone's different&quot;, then that may be the least confrontational.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you will find yourself becoming frustrated if she continues to make those comparisons (remember, it is very difficult to change behaviors like that, and it takes time, especially if she doesn't acknowledge any need to do so), you may want to try and restrict your interactions to venues where you have some ability to distance yourself once she gets into these types of responses.  Text messages or email may be an option; simply stop responding once she makes such a comment.  Phone calls may work as well; you can simply say &quot;I have to go now&quot; and end the call if you become frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T13:25:37.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7691" CreationDate="2013-03-26T14:28:53.097" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your mom has some boundary issues.  I don't know that I would call her behavior &lt;em&gt;normal&lt;/em&gt;, but I think many mothers and daughters have boundary issues to some extent (I know my mother and I do).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beofett's advice is excellent, and much kinder than mine is.  I have reached the point with my mother where I simply do not tolerate her crossing boundaries.  My mother, unfortunately, is not capable of sitting down and having an adult conversation about stuff like this.  Only you know your mother well enough to know how capable she is of having that kind of conversation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; have a conversation with your mother, you should absolutely try.  That is the ideal and best way to handle the situation.  With my mother, I've had to basically set explicit boundaries for her.  If something is important to me, I cannot leave any room for negotiation and I've stopped explaining myself--especially when it comes to my family and what is best for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surprisingly, this has actually &lt;em&gt;helped&lt;/em&gt; my relationship with my mom.  I cannot guarantee similar results with yours.  I also pick my battles carefully because I don't want to be constantly arguing with or alienating my mom.  Despite her boundary issues, my mom really is a wonderful person who loves me and my children dearly.  When her boundary-crossing becomes harmful or undermines my authority as a parent, I have to step in.  This has caused arguments (remember I mentioned that my mom is unable to have an adult conversation about stuff like this?) and we have gone periods of not speaking.  But my boundaries are very clear and we move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to who visits you in the hospital while you are delivering your child, what you are asking is not unreasonable.  I think your mother's desire to be present at the birth of your child comes from a place of concern and love (at least, I hope it does), but it doesn't matter what &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; would do or what your cousin would do.  It's your birth and yours and your spouse's decision.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T14:28:53.097" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7691" CreationDate="2013-03-26T14:33:40.150" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Beofett -- your mother is caring too much, and she must learn to let you go and let you live your own life. Because she's obviously not able to, it's up to you to make her understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want to change from being treated like a child to being treated like an equal adult. This is a &lt;strong&gt;huge&lt;/strong&gt; step, a huge change in how your mother should treat you and think about you, and I'm certain you can't achieve that step in one go. But you have to start somewhere, and I suspect you've been telling her small hints already but she is too stubborn or blind to grasp it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She must be made to understand that if she &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; wants the best for you then she must stop managing and let you take control.  You need to tell her, directly and clearly, that you're a grown and married woman, and that her responsibility to take care of you has ended (depending on local cultures, I could be totally mistaken). Tell her that &lt;em&gt;of course&lt;/em&gt; you still love her and &lt;em&gt;of course&lt;/em&gt; you're still grateful for all that she has done - but she can stop doing these things now. You can take care of yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A person close to me also has a mother that is too involved, but she managed (as Beofett also mentioned) to &lt;strong&gt;set clear boundaries&lt;/strong&gt; and did &lt;strong&gt;not tolerate breaking them.&lt;/strong&gt; At first the boundaries allowed her mother a large amount of control but over the course of two years she narrowed the mother's control to a much smaller level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was small steps, &lt;strong&gt;like building a puzzle:&lt;/strong&gt; Each piece is not very big and is therefore easily &quot;defended&quot; against the mother. As more and more pieces were put into place, she gained more leverage because she had already proven that she was handling all her puzzle pieces very well. It then became easier to attack the bigger and more important topics, and it was surprising to see that the mother did not resist as much as expected; the proof so far must have been convincing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To give you &lt;strong&gt;one specific example,&lt;/strong&gt; there was a situation where the mother was sitting in the back of the car and was asked to not interact with the infant, but she couldn't stop herself from playing and making noises and talking to the baby. The parents first asked kindly but finally escalated it to the point of &quot;be quiet or walk home from here.&quot; That was unusually rough talk toward the mother, and probably hurt her some, but it also established who was in charge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T14:33:40.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7691" CreationDate="2013-03-26T15:03:06.537" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's never pleasant to get advice you don't want. It's even more unpleasant to be quizzed and questioned, and then have your answers rejected as invalid. Assuming you want a nice relationship with your mother, I recommend two approaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, and most important, remind yourself that she doesn't get a vote. You will take the actions you've decided on whether she approves or not, whether your cousins did or not, whether anyone else she's ever met did or not. It is ok for her to think you're unusual or even wrong - in fact, if you try to convince her that what you're doing is ok, you may just make her dig in her heels even further. You're 30 years old, you don't need her approval, so don't get into an argument whose aim is to change her opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, have some phrases that you can use to acknowledge what she's saying without changing what you're doing. It can be as simple as &quot;Interesting.&quot; or &quot;I've heard that.&quot; or &quot;That was lucky for you/her/them I suppose.&quot; If you feel she is urging you to change your plans, it can be &quot;This is what I've decided to do.&quot; or &quot;This is what [husband] and I have decided to do.&quot; or &quot;This is what my doctors have recommended, and I've decided to follow their recommendation.&quot; Not getting caught up in what your cousins did or didn't do, which other cousins were the same as you, why you're different from your cousins, or any of that. Just calmly having your own position.&#xA;Let her disagree. It's not up to her any more what you do. If she demands to know why you can't do what a cousin did, you can say simply that you don't know, and repeat that this is what you're doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, emphasize the positive. Using the C section as an example: &quot;My doctors have advised me to have no visitors at all for the first 12 hours, and not before dawn if the baby is born during the day, and I'm looking forward to seeing you as soon as they say it's ok!&quot; &quot;But your cousin [totally different thing.]&quot; &quot;Yes, I remember [or remember hearing that]. Won't it be great when you come to see us at 12 hours and get to see the baby!&quot; No argument, contradiction, explanation - but you also don't change your position. Or if she can come right away but you don't want a parade of the neighbourhood: &quot;My doctors have advised me to have almost no visitors, only the most important people, for the first 12 hours. I want you to come right away, of course, but don't bring anybody else. Tell the others they must wait until the next day.&quot; This emphasizes that she's special, while also emphasizing that you are not a treat for her to show off to others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, some advice that will help you as a parent as well as in your relationship with your mother: pick your battles. If she wants to say that her way of doing things is the best ever, and she isn't asking you to do it, just telling you that some problem you have couldn't possibly be related to anything she did, let it go by. She can be wrong. You can do what you choose going forward. You don't need her to always agree with you any more than you always need to agree with her: that's what having an adult relationship is all about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T15:03:06.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7701" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-26T15:21:16.633" Score="10" ViewCount="5860" Body="&lt;p&gt;​​​I'm a working mom of 15 month old baby. We are lucky to have our grandmas to help us babysit our child while me and my husband are at work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently we had a grandma's swap, one grandmother left for 2 months, and we have another grandmother in our house instead. My son missed his first grandma a lot, she was with him since his birth, and that's the first time when she is not around him for such a long time. He didn't even want to accept his second grandma, was pushing her away and running around the house trying to find his favorite one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since that time he got extremely attached to me, would want just me to hold him, didn't want me to be too far from him. he started pushing away his dad if dad was trying to help me carry our son. I understand that it's a shock for a baby to loose a person he got used to, so I was trying to comfort him as much as I can, spend more time with him, hold him and hug. We moved his crib in our room, because there were times he would scream at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything seemed to get better in 2 weeks: when I'm not around he is quiet with his second grandma, he likes to play with her, eats well, everything good, though he still is very alarmed next to her and won't fall asleep if she is near.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what started is: he will be pretty quiet the whole day with grandma, but when I come home he will gladly meet me and then he will start whining and fussing, will get very annoyed, won't let me eat or even wash my hands. He would cry while I'm holding him, and would cry even more if I put him down. Nothing works: distractions, another people entertaining him, just putting him on the floor and leaving him. He can cry for more than 30 min nonstop and then he can't stop at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm lost in guesses what it could be, is it me spoiling him with attention when he cries? Is it just an evening meltdown and if so why it didn't happen before? What do I do to stop it and help him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3031" LastEditorUserId="9247" LastEditDate="2015-05-28T11:08:31.600" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T11:08:31.600" Title="15 mo old son becomes very fussy every evening when I come home from work" Tags="|toddler|behavior|working-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7701" CreationDate="2013-03-26T16:32:04.607" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers go through phases quickly, and it sounds like he's in the middle of a NEVER PUT ME DOWN phase. It sounds like he is just crying as a way to relieve stress -- in his mind, he had a tough day, and when you're finally home he wants to let you know just how hard it was being a toddler all day long. (I think that is perhaps why he cries even more if you put him down, because he just wants to complain and then feels abandoned again when you won't listen.) If he isn't napping well during the day, then he may be over-tired by the time you get home, and that is just going to make the emotional outburst that much more extreme and difficult to calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that helped us cope with extreme attachment phases was having a sling or backpack so I could be carrying the kid, but still have my hands free and not wear out my arms. They also hated if I sat down while holding them, so I just tied the kid to my back and made dinner or something. The toddler feels comforted being &quot;held&quot; by a parent, and I can be &quot;paying attention&quot; while I'm actually doing something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck -- I know it can be hard when your child is inconsolable for no apparent reason!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T16:32:04.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7691" CreationDate="2013-03-26T16:35:43.540" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had similar problems with my mother-in-law, although not to such a degree.  What helped for us was when someone described the reason behind her behavior as being due to her &quot;love language.&quot;  There's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/0802473156&quot;&gt;book&lt;/a&gt; about it if you're interested in learning more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially, the &quot;language&quot; your mother uses to express her love is performing acts of service, and dispensing advice.  This fits very well with people who feel loved by being more dependent on someone, like your cousins.  It &lt;em&gt;doesn't&lt;/em&gt; fit well with people who are highly independent and have a different kind of love language.  To you, it feels like she is trying to control you.  To her, it feels like you are denying her the opportunity to express her love for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, having that understanding, what can be done to help?  First of all, just understanding it helps you talk to her without getting angry, but that's not quite enough.  One thing we did was if we didn't want the family's input, we would just make our deliberations in private, then announce our decision as final, rather than saying, &quot;We're thinking about...&quot;  This is somewhat frustrating to them, but helps in setting the boundaries, as other answers have described.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing we did, that actually helped a lot more, was make an effort to look for situations where her intrusion was okay, and preemptively ask for it.  This way she knows you value her wisdom and service, and that you want to let her express your love in her own way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your honeymoon example, the way to preempt that would have been to tell her something like, &quot;I'd really love to have lunch with you the Tuesday after I get back, so we can catch up and you can tell me everything you want to say, but this week I want to spend with my husband uninterrupted.&quot;  This tells her you're not rejecting her intentions, just her timing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your cesarean example, the way to preempt that would have been to offer her a special assignment before dropping the bad news about the 12 hour delay.  &quot;I would really like it if you would be able to watch our other children while I'm unable to receive visitors.&quot; or &quot;I would like you to be one of our first visitors.  Will you be able to come first thing the next morning?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, she will still complain.  She will still compare you to your cousins, but it will get less, and you will eventually find a balance you can both agree on.  Interestingly, in our situation, the people we were being compared to started acting more like us, more independently.  Keep that in mind if most of the people you're being compared to are younger than you, or have not lived away from home as long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T16:35:43.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7690" CreationDate="2013-03-26T16:40:47.920" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you are stressed, you release hormones such as cortisol into your blood, as well as into the amniotic fluid surrounding your baby, according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.news-medical.net/news/2007/06/01/25891.aspx&quot;&gt;at least one study&lt;/a&gt;.  That said, while I haven't read it I know the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.ca/Origins-Months-Before-Birth-Shape/dp/0743296621/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1325874667&amp;amp;sr=8-1&quot;&gt;Origins&lt;/a&gt; reviewed the evidence and found that some stress seems to have a positive impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So your child in utero does indeed have some level of understanding of your mental state, but the details seem to be quite complicated and only roughly understood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T16:40:47.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7693" CreationDate="2013-03-26T21:18:18.700" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading this and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/7484/644&quot;&gt;your previous question&lt;/a&gt; together, I'm going to recommend somewhat less leniency than the other answers.  Your sister is starting a real problem managing expenses, maybe enough to warrant professional therapy.  The consequence should entail her showing you can trust her to spend wisely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For starters, I would disallow any unaccompanied shopping trips for a while.  She abused that privilege and that trust, and needs to earn it back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the $100, I would not just give it back unconditionally.  I would take her shopping and show her how to spend it wisely on things she wants that are also within her means.  You can get an adequate amount of makeup for $100, even for an adult.  I would recommend taking along your girlfriend or other female whose style your sister admires, who understands being stylish on a budget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you see her start to make frugal decisions on her own, you'll know you can trust her to shop unaccompanied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T21:18:18.700" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2013-03-26T22:02:49.060" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bet the fleas are not from the surviving cat. Fleas would rather bite a cat and pretty much just settle for people. It's very common for people to only start getting bitten after a cat leaves the household (however it does) since the eggs, larvae, and pupae don't live on the cat, but rather in bedding, carpets etc. (And they can go dormant before adulthood for as long as a year if they don't get indications that there's a host nearby.) Once they are adults, they get hungry, there's no cat any more (since the remaining cat is treated to repel them) - what are they going to do? Adults can apparently go a long time between meals too, and don't always spend that time on the cat. This happened to friends of mine who bought a house - the cat moved out with the owners, but at least some of the fleas (and all of their eggs) stayed behind, and my friends were bitten for months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flea&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt; has more on their lifecycle and some approaches to getting them out of the home. It seems very fond of vaccuuming, especially if you use plenty of baking soda first in an attempt to dehydrate eggs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The simplest thing to do if all 3 of you can't fit in the &quot;safer&quot; bed is to put two of you in it and the third where she slept before, or on the floor next to the bed in the same room and people can think all three of you are sleeping in the bed. Bringing a sleeping bag or other bedding for the baby might help - or might result in the fleas coming back with you! I don't think I could suggest to my mother that I vaccuum a room in her home for her, but yours might be different. One thing's for sure though - this isn't a short term thing that will clear up in a few weeks, so it's worth working out a solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-03-26T22:02:49.060" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7709" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7808" CreationDate="2013-03-27T14:17:04.777" Score="18" ViewCount="2136" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note: I am looking for referenced answers only!  Answers citing one or more peer reviewed studies, or, better yet, a meta analysis of several such studies, would be ideal.  Answers that reference articles from reputable sources, or blogs from established child-care or psychology professionals, are acceptable but not preferred.  I will be awarding large bounties to the two best answers that meet these criteria!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toy soldiers, cap-guns, BB rifles, etc. were popular toys for years, but have fallen out of favor with many parents these days.  Still, it is very easy to find toys that feature weapons of some sort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet I know several parents who feel this teaches violent behavior, and who have banned all toys that incorporate or simulate weapons from their houses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I am not including video games in this, as I feel there are distinct differences in the interactions.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do toy weapons and such have any correlation with violent behavior, or any other negative behaviors?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mean any behavior that can be construed as negative. I don't consider pretending to shoot a toy gun as negative, but I would consider hitting or other form of aggression against another child (or adult), whether during the course of playing with these particular toys or not, to be negative behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-02T18:23:37.073" LastActivityDate="2019-01-02T18:23:37.073" Title="Have studies shown whether toys that feature guns or other weapons prominently promote violent behavior?" Tags="|development|toys|violence|research|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7709" CreationDate="2013-03-27T17:39:28.737" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;To quote from &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/0791426424&quot;&gt;The Future of Play Theory: A Multidisciplinary Inquiry into the Contributions of Brian Sutton-Smith&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Findings from studies of war toys are diverse, if sparse.  War toys&#xA;  have been found to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;enhance aggression (Sanson and Di Muccio, 1993; Turner and Goldsmith, 1976; Watson and Peng, 1992)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;reduce aggression (Bonte and Musgrove, 1943; Gribbin, 1979)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;have no bearing on aggression (Sutton-Smith, Gerstmyer, and Meckley, 1988; Wegener-Spöhring, 1989)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find any subscription-free copies of those studies.  You can find most of them &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1080/00050069308258882/abstract&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; if you want to further your research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal opinion is that the research is inconclusive due to a correlation/causation problem.  Aggressive kids prefer aggressive toys, and play more aggressively with them than with other toys.  It's very difficult to separate out whether the toys caused the aggression or vice versa.  However, I have personal experience that strongly suggests the effect is temporary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a two year-old foster son who came to us with toy guns in his personal belongings.  I can't go into details about his background, but suffice it to say he had very good reasons for aggressive behavior that didn't involve toys.  Although we don't buy toy guns for our own children (for reasons I'll detail later), possessions are very important to foster children so we let him keep them at first.  However, we noticed that he hit other children with his guns &lt;em&gt;far more&lt;/em&gt; than with any other toy, or bare-handed, so we took the guns away.  After that, teaching him not to hit was much easier.  In a month or two he had almost completely stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All our other children have either ignored toy guns altogether, or consistently played with them appropriately, without it escalating into actual violence.  Our one child where it mattered the effect wore off quickly, even being predisposed to violence.  Bottom line is you are very unlikely to do permanent damage by exposing your children to toy guns in a trial period, to see how your individual child reacts, perhaps on a play date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, a reason you might not have considered is real gun safety.  Even if you don't own guns, your children may encounter them at a friend or relative's house, or even discarded on the street.  Children 6 and younger can't distinguish a toy gun from a real one, and for a few years after that, they can't distinguish a real gun without picking it up to gauge the weight.  Even then, some real guns are extremely lightweight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is why a lot of parents teach their children to treat toy guns and real guns the same:   stop, don't touch, leave the area, and tell an adult.  It's not that it's impossible to teach gun safety with toy guns readily available, it just muddies the waters a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-27T17:39:28.737" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6773" CreationDate="2013-03-27T17:51:33.193" Score="0" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage your parents to visit you more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rent a hotel room&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take an inflatable mattress&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring a bottle flea killer each visit as a &quot;guest gift&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4119" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-27T21:34:52.993" LastActivityDate="2013-03-27T21:34:52.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7712" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7715" CreationDate="2013-03-27T21:30:10.320" Score="10" ViewCount="483" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of situations we teach our children about come up all the time.  They get plenty of practice looking both ways before crossing the street, for example.  However, there are some situations that you hope never come up:  finding an unattended gun or medication, being solicited for personal information online, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We roleplay these situations, but not very frequently.  It occurs to me that a secret drill might be the only way to really make sure they've internalized your teaching.  Sort of like a fire drill except they don't know it's a drill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should you secretly drill your children?  Why or why not?  If so, what's the best way to go about it?  How should you react if they &quot;fail&quot;?  Is there a better way to test them without &lt;strong&gt;testing&lt;/strong&gt; them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T09:29:42.770" Title="Should you secretly drill your children?" Tags="|discipline|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7690" CreationDate="2013-03-28T01:31:52.957" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beyond depression or fear, there is evidence that a wide variety of emotions can be chemically sent to the fetus. according to an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/a-fetus-can-sense-moms-psychological-state.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;article on Psychology Science&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at least one source appears to suggest that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/1933-pregnancy-mothers-mental-state-baby-development.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;consistency is important&lt;/a&gt;, in that large changes to mood may slow mental and motor skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4125" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T01:31:52.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2718" CreationDate="2013-03-28T02:30:20.600" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seriously, read the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1118022025&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Counseling The Culturally Diverse&lt;/a&gt; (it blatantly puts out there the mass racial and socio-economical discrimination that still occurs today in very subtle and slick ways).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teachers, counselors, ect. seem to try to act like the problem is in the child, when that's not always the case, and finally, its documented! Amen! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book is by Sue and Sue; people showing how people like to take the easy way out. They like to blame the target instead of those really causing or contributing to the conflict. Its not always the kid. Then the parents are made to feel like its their parenting strategies (exactly like the &quot;sweep It under the rug&quot; comment above).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stand up for your children at all times when in any doubt, and never assume. Question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be involved and always be sure before making assumptions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4126" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-03-28T12:31:47.090" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T12:31:47.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7712" CreationDate="2013-03-28T07:00:59.037" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I leave my older children home alone one of our rules is if the doorbell rings you do not answer the door, no matter what. The first several times I left them I would randomly ring the doorbell or pound on the door... sometimes persistently. The first couple of times they forgot and came to the window or door, one time saying &quot;but I KNEW it was you!&quot; Drilling them in that way helped them internalize the rule and now no matter how persistent I am at the door they won't approach it. I think finding ways like this to reinforce teachings is important. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've done something similar to the computer. When they were younger they were only allowed to play online with me next to them and I slowly moved away as they learned the rules. Through repetition I taught them safety rules on line and now that they are more autonomous they are awesome about stopping and getting me whenever anything in a gray area happens. I never did a physical drill but I repeated instructions (like only friend people online that you know in real life first) often enough and I did not give them the freedom to play on their own until they demonstrated the ability to strictly adhere to these rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of drills, per se, I think it is more important to not grant children the freedom to do something until they've demonstrated the necessary safety skills associated with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4127" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T07:00:59.037" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7712" CreationDate="2013-03-28T09:29:42.770" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in two minds on this one- part of me thinks that if they realise it is a drill they will treat the situation with less respect in future, but on the other hand practice can help them get it right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't drill, instead we discuss risk, risk appetite and risk management with our kids (as it is my day job) in order that they understand fully the risks to themselves. This then helps them self-motivate to minimise risk to an acceptable level, and I hope sets them up well for their future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T09:29:42.770" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7717" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8461" CreationDate="2013-03-28T10:22:16.657" Score="12" ViewCount="14083" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3½ year old son has been diagnosed with a mild eye defect, so he is getting corrective glasses (with non-shattering plastic lenses, obviously). As I've never worn glasses myself, nor my wife at that age, we're not sure what challenges this creates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course he should be wearing the glasses whenever he's awake, but given that he can see very well without them, &lt;strong&gt;how can we motivate him to wear his glasses?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What tricks are commonly used by parents?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What pitfalls should we be aware of?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2020-02-09T18:40:52.303" Title="How does a 3-year-old learn to wear glasses?" Tags="|pre-schooler|health|glasses|eyes|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7718" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-03-28T10:23:38.947" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-28T10:23:38.947" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T10:23:38.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7719" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-03-28T10:23:38.947" Score="0" Body="Questions about corrective eye-wear such as prescription glasses and contact lenses." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-28T10:23:38.947" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T10:23:38.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7720" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-03-28T10:31:39.920" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mayo Clinic defines encopresis here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Encopresis occurs when your child resists having bowel movements, causing impacted stool to collect in the colon and rectum. When your child's colon is full of impacted stool, liquid stool can leak around the impacted stool and out of the anus, staining your child's underwear. Encopresis may also be called stool holding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Encopresis usually occurs after age 4, when your child has already learned to use a toilet. In most cases, encopresis is a symptom of chronic constipation. Less frequently, it may be the result of developmental or emotional issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Encopresis can be frustrating for you — and embarrassing for your child. However, with patience and positive reinforcement, treatment for encopresis is usually successful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/encopresis/DS00885&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-28T10:31:39.920" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T10:31:39.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7721" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-03-28T10:31:39.920" Score="0" Body="Encopresis is voluntary or involuntary fecal soiling in children who have usually already been toilet trained." OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-28T10:31:39.920" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T10:31:39.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7717" CreationDate="2013-03-28T12:46:08.490" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter got her glasses around her first birthday.  The biggest issue at first is the glasses are uncomfortable and they will keep taking them off.  At one year old, all we could do was keep putting them back on over and over and over.  At three, you probably have more options, like the same incentives you used for potty training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any rate, the uncomfortable stage only lasted a week or two, then if the glasses came off it was by accident, maybe once per day for our daughter.  We have friends with a son who got glasses at a very early age, and they had to get a strap to keep his from falling off, since he is so active.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing to keep in mind is just like everything else, your son will outgrow his glasses pretty quickly.  Adults can generally wait for their prescription to change, or the glasses to wear out.  My eye insurance will pay for a new pair every two years for me, but your son may need his replaced more frequently than that.  If he suddenly stops wanting to wear them after doing good for a while, they have probably become too tight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2013-03-29T21:31:13.350" LastActivityDate="2013-03-29T21:31:13.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7724" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7725" CreationDate="2013-03-28T16:16:44.000" Score="8" ViewCount="361" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been playing with my 5 year old and teaching her how to play board games (chess, checkers, go, etc) and card games. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make the study consistent we play 30 minutes every day. But I was wondering - should we perhaps stick to one game first so she could focus better and learn how to play that one game , and only after she is fairly good with the first game,  then proceed with the next one, then next one, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or varying the games is more beneficial?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user413" LastEditorUserId="21162" LastEditDate="2016-03-11T16:37:58.510" LastActivityDate="2016-03-11T18:28:16.207" Title="Should we teach rules of multiple board games at once" Tags="|pre-schooler|games|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7724" CreationDate="2013-03-28T17:30:21.153" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Board and card games are a great activity idea. I think that 5 is old enough to be able to handle moderately complicated rules, but (more importantly) old enough to keep track of what rules apply to which game. Indeed, the variation of many new games probably helps memory and strategy skills, since she has to keep things straight!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is to balance the new information against making things too repetitive. Too many new games at once is confusing for anybody; playing chess (fairly complex) for many days in a row to practice could potentially get boring and frustrating (I &lt;em&gt;hated&lt;/em&gt; chess as a child!). I don't think there is any firm guideline that would really work, just keep an eye on how well she's understanding things and how much fun she seems to be having.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(As a side note: in my experience, when a five-year-old starts to cheat or simply ignore rules, she's bored or frustrated. That's a good sign it's time to switch games...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-03-28T17:30:21.153" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7727" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-29T08:29:37.560" Score="10" ViewCount="27972" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl is 2 weeks old. She starts making squeaks, moans, yawns during sleeping every 3-5min. She did that as well before, but not as often as these two days. She also gets more difficult to settle and fall asleep these two days. Asks for breast right after feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this might be a growth spurt, but how about the noises she makes every 3-5min? Is that normal as well or does it suggest that she has sleeping problems?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4131" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-03-29T08:52:36.013" LastActivityDate="2013-03-30T17:58:23.830" Title="Why does my baby moan every 3-5min during sleeping?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7728" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7730" CreationDate="2013-03-29T09:40:18.290" Score="3" ViewCount="381" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a working person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After my child is 3 months old, I will continue to go to my job from morning 7:00 till evening 18:00. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will be coming home at around 14:00 to breastfeed for about half an hour.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So, I can breastfeed only between evening 18:00 to morning 7:00 and half an hour during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming I wish to avoid using the pumps, how should I schedule the infant's sleeping pattern so that I can feed him as much as I can when I am at home such he doesn't feel much hungry during my absence?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-03-29T14:08:02.777" LastActivityDate="2013-03-29T19:48:24.540" Title="How should I schedule the sleep and feeding pattern of my infant so that he gets enough feed when I am at home?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|working-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7728" CreationDate="2013-03-29T13:17:57.180" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Considering the fact that newborn babies eat every 2 or 3 hours and babies fed on breast milk tend to get hungry sooner than those fed on milk formula it would be a good idea to have a plan on how to keep the baby fed while you're at work. Surely, one meal between 7am and 6pm would not be enough. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should seriously consider using the pumps or a milk formula so the baby can have his/her meals whenever he/she's hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4089" LastActivityDate="2013-03-29T13:17:57.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7728" CreationDate="2013-03-29T19:48:24.540" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people work on switching day and night patterns for the baby, so there is lots of being awake and eating while mum is home, and mostly sleeping and not feeding while mum is away. This has its own downsides, of course, but it is something that works for some people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More realistically, you are probably going to use bottles in the daytime, whether they have formula or pumped milk in them. Do not start the bottles too soon. Wait until a week or two before you go back to work. Nipple confusion is a real thing that can lead the baby to reject the breast for the bottle. The longer you wait the more likely it is the baby can switch between the two. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is probably a good idea to keep the baby up a little later at night once you start work. You might even have a normal wakeup of 9 or 10 am, and you stop by and wake the baby for the 7am feed, then go. While this won't give you peaceful evenings like the families who put the baby to bed at 7pm, it will give you one or two more nursings every evening and little less pressure on you to get your mothering into a short period of time before it is baby's bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether you pump or use formula is a personal decision. It can be hard to find a place to pump at work, and hard to bring the pumped milk home each evening. I would put that decision off until the baby has actually arrived and you get an idea for how tired you are and how easy you find nursing. If you drop all the daytime feeds at 3 months and don't pump, using formula, your supply might adjust or it might not. Pumping ensures your supply will continue. (BTW, don't confuse the nursing-got-shorter-and-I-don't-swell-and-feel-sore-when-it's-feeding-time phenomenon with losing your supply. At about 4 months most of the physical issues some women get in early nursing go away, and the baby gets really efficient at getting milk out, and sadly some women think this means they're losing their supply.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do intend to pump about half your baby's milk, get a serious plug-in pump with good power. Battery pumps are for using on occasional outings without the baby, and are as much about relieving pressure and keeping up supply as they are about getting milk. You can rent plug in pumps on pretty short notice, but look into it now to make sure you know how to get one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-03-29T19:48:24.540" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7732" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7742" CreationDate="2013-03-30T08:19:38.550" Score="5" ViewCount="324" Body="&lt;p&gt;What qualities should be looked in a bedding for an infant to prevent the crib deaths?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does sealing the bedding with a strong polythene sheet provide any benefits or risks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-05-24T07:58:51.217" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T07:58:51.217" Title="What qualities should be looked in a bedding for an infant to prevent the crib deaths?" Tags="|infant|death|crib|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7727" CreationDate="2013-03-30T17:58:23.830" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The noises are perfectly normal.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/newborn-sleep.aspx&quot;&gt;Here's&lt;/a&gt; a good article that explains what's normal and not for sleeping.  Infant sleep is very different from adult sleep.  Basically, any sounds she makes while awake, she will make while asleep.  The danger signs are when she is breathing rapidly, or looks like she is working really hard to breathe.  However, unlike adults, short pauses in their breathing aren't a cause for concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry, soon you will be freaking out when you don't hear the noises for a while.  As soon as you have parenting figured out, it changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-03-30T17:58:23.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7732" CreationDate="2013-03-30T21:24:23.470" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; the guidance we got suggests that putting plastic wrapping anywhere near a mattress is a very bad idea. Like Chrys says, you do not get 'nerve gases' from mattresses, and in fact letting air get through a mattress is a much better idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies should not have a pillow, but should be laid on the mattress, with one breathable blanket under them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This breathability allows them to breathe if they do roll onto their front. It also allows spittle, milk and vomit to move away from baby's mouth!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-03-30T21:24:23.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7735" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-03-31T05:23:32.957" Score="28" ViewCount="39568" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife wants a 4th baby, but I don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been talking about it for the last few days (talking strongly). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have raised points such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We will get less time to spend with our current kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The age gap between the first and the last will be too wide.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It will cost more money.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She will be out of work longer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We will need a bigger house. And we don't even have our own house yet (we are still renting).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We will have to start again. Sleepless nights, nappies, feeding, new cot, car seat, etc etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She feels like she is missing something.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She has always wanted a large family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Things will be the same regardless of having 3, or 4 kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She agrees that money will be tighter, but wants to push through it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our current kids are 9 months, 2 years, and 4 years. We are young married couple (25), and I have a fairly decent job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be the pros and cons of having another child? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we rationally talk to the other about having/or not having another child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And what should we do if we cannot agree?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="anon" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2016-12-30T18:25:41.117" LastActivityDate="2016-12-30T18:25:41.117" Title="My wife wants a 4th baby, but I don't" Tags="|pregnancy|working-parents|family-planning|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2013-03-31T18:53:20.710" Score="50" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're only 25 years old, your oldest hasn't even started school yet, your youngest is 9 months old, and you want &lt;em&gt;another?&lt;/em&gt; Wow, your wife is in a hurry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My immediate impression is that your wife is living in a dream world, striving toward some fantasy that she perhaps hasn't shared with you yet. You definitely need to talk more - and go deeper in those talks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You are not required to &lt;em&gt;agree&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; but I strongly advise to keep drilling, &lt;strong&gt;keep talking until you feel you &lt;em&gt;understand&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; her point of view. Only when you understand her point of view can you begin to present your opinion, because only then can you frame your arguments to match her world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Seek first to understand, then to be understood,&quot;&lt;/em&gt; as Stephen Covey would say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: You two need to make a decision &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt; or it will tear you apart. It's going to be frustrating but try to keep an open mind and do your best to continue a constructive discussion until you reach an agreement. Seek assistance via counseling if you have to. This is important because if you're not both in absolute agreement, this can cause big problems years from now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One additional thought: &lt;em&gt;How does she determine when you've got enough kids?&lt;/em&gt; What's to stop her from using the same arguments for a fifth child? And how would &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; answer the same questions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-04-07T11:18:24.423" LastActivityDate="2013-04-07T11:18:24.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7732" CreationDate="2013-03-31T19:23:49.600" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, &lt;em&gt;&quot;sealing the bedding with a strong polythene sheet&quot;&lt;/em&gt; presents a significant risk of suffocation -- not SIDS, just plain asphyxiation. Most infant mattresses are deliberately covered with a mesh webbing underneath the cotton surface with the explicit purpose of allowing the baby to breathe even if it turns face-down during sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try it for yourself: bury your face in your own pillow and try to breathe. It's neither easy nor comfortable, but you survive. Now wrap a plastic bag around your pillow and repeat -- you'll notice that it's completely impossible to breathe!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For this simple reason, any and &lt;strong&gt;all material&lt;/strong&gt; in and near an infant's bed &lt;strong&gt;must be a &quot;breathable&quot; type.&lt;/strong&gt; Baby pillows, bedsheets and teddy bears present a suffocation danger simply because they might end up in front of the baby's face during the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, the text in the source originally stated in your question is scary, but really the scary thing is that some human being wrote that text and seems to believe that baby mattresses really contain &quot;highly toxic nerve gases.&quot; Why would there be phosphorus or even arsenic in a mattress? Such stupidity! Please &lt;em&gt;please&lt;/em&gt; never believe such panic-mongering. You were right to doubt that text. I'm glad you posted your question!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-03-31T19:23:49.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7732" CreationDate="2013-04-01T12:53:07.197" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/AAP-Expands-Guidelines-for-Infant-Sleep-Safety-and-SIDS-Risk-Reduction.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; has specific recommendations for infant bedding, with the goal of reducing instances of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sids.org/&quot;&gt;SIDS&lt;/a&gt; (a.k.a. &quot;crib death&quot; or &quot;cot death&quot;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Always place your baby on his or her back for every sleep time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Always use a firm sleep surface. Car seats and other sitting devices are not recommended for routine sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep soft objects or loose bedding out of the crib. This includes pillows, blankets, and bumper pads.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wedges and positioners should not be used.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Avoid covering the infant’s head or overheating.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These recommendations are those repeated by many reputable health care and pediatric groups, and are commonly recognized as the standard best-practices in modern pediatrics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Does sealing the bedding with a strong polythene sheet provide any benefits or risks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the recommendation associated with a rather controversial, and disputed, theory.  Starting with Barry Richardson's 1989 &quot;Richardson Hypothesis&quot;, and later continued by Dr. Jim Sprott, the hypothesis theorizes that certain fungi can break down some specific chemicals present in some children's bedding material, and convert it to &quot;toxic 'nerve' gasses&quot;.  The suggested solution to this is to wrap the mattress in special materials to prevent this &quot;toxic nerve gas&quot; from reaching the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This theory has been &lt;a href=&quot;http://s127133077.onlinehome.us/images/reading_material/Matterss_wrapping.pdf&quot;&gt;studied several times&lt;/a&gt;, and the studies have shown that &lt;a href=&quot;http://web.archive.org/web/20001026033455/http://www.sids.org.uk/fsid/limerick.htm&quot;&gt;there is no evidence to substantiate this theory&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Sprott continues to support this theory, however, and claims it to be scientific &quot;fact&quot;, rather than a theory (in my personal opinion, this is one of the big danger signs warning of quackery: no scientific theory is ever proven as &quot;fact&quot;, and stating a minority opinion as &quot;fact&quot; is quite telling, imo).  This is based upon his campaign to wrap mattresses in New Zealand, and an overall decrease in &quot;cot death&quot; fatalities (again, a correlation of this nature is &lt;a href=&quot;http://s127133077.onlinehome.us/images/reading_material/Matterss_wrapping.pdf&quot;&gt;far too weak an argument&lt;/a&gt; to declare a theory as confirmed, imo).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-club/631124-mattress-wrapping-prevent-cot-death.html&quot;&gt;Here is a discussion about the theory&lt;/a&gt; that brings up some good points.  Mainly that Dr. Sprott directly profits from this theory, since he apparently markets both his own line of &quot;approved&quot; mattress covers as the &quot;cure to SIDS&quot;, and also his own book on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On Dr. Sprott's website, he makes quite clear that &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; his product is safe (the FAQ mentions several times that other covers are not safe, citing repeatedly his &quot;Cot Life 2000&quot; protocol, which apparently states that all types of materials must be enclosed in his patented cover; note that I can find no evidence that the government of New Zealand in any way endorses this &quot;protocol&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Under no circumstances do I think any parent should undertake to wrap their child's mattress in their own polythene sheet; it seems even Dr. Sprott does not feel this is safe to do as a &quot;DIY&quot; project.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-04-01T12:53:07.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2013-04-01T15:52:52.880" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's normal for spouses to have disagreements, even on the big things.  It doesn't necessarily mean your marriage is in trouble.  It means you have a problem to work through together.  Hopefully you talked about children before deciding to get married.  However, even if you did, no one really understands what being a parent is like until they experience it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having more children is something that both parents should agree to.  I don't say that lightly.  I was actually on your wife's side of the argument at one point in my own marriage.  So how did we fix it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have this huge list of obstacles.  It is likely that you don't really care about some, but you added them to bolster your case.  It is also likely that there are other reasons you aren't stating, maybe because you feel they are selfish, like not getting enough time for your hobbies.  It's important to get &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; the reasons out in the open, and to make sure all the reasons are real reasons.  Write the list down.  Break down big items on the list into smaller steps, if you can.  For example, one small step in buying a house would be asking your friends and family for recommendations on real estate agents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now pick the easiest obstacle to fix, and fix it.  Pick the next easiest, and fix that.  Adjust your list as necessary as you go along.  Eventually you will run out of obstacles, and one of two things will happen:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You will change your mind because the obstacles are smaller, and you will be much better prepared for another child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You don't change your mind, but your wife saw that you made a legitimate effort.  That validation makes a huge difference.  You will have fewer points of disagreement, which will hopefully be easier to work out, since you've both had a while to let the other person's point of view sink in.  You will be in a more comfortable situation to raise your existing children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-01T15:52:52.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7744" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-02T09:24:53.183" Score="4" ViewCount="1941" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is two years old now. Somehow he likes fighting. His mornings start with hitting and biting. I know for him it's a game and he enjoys it. Also, sometimes he becomes angry and throws whatever is in his hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As of now I don't have a problem, but is this normal behavior for kids? Should I try to stop responding to him when he fights?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="982" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-10T13:03:59.540" LastActivityDate="2019-05-10T13:03:59.540" Title="Is it normal for a 2-year-old son to like hitting, biting and fighting?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|violence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2013-04-08T13:40:59.970" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7745" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7748" CreationDate="2013-04-02T10:29:09.007" Score="12" ViewCount="15318" Body="&lt;p&gt;What age can you expect a child to happily sit through a movie at the theatre and do you have tips to make this a good experience for both children and parents (e.g. which movie to pick, what to do if they are bored after 5 minutes, etc.)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1408" LastActivityDate="2017-10-23T15:07:37.637" Title="What is a good age to start taking your kids to the cinema?" Tags="|activities|entertainment|movies|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7745" CreationDate="2013-04-02T14:14:51.753" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I saw Fantasia at around 4 or 5. Can't remember that exact age, but I still remember seeing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all you're looking for is that your child &quot;sits quietly&quot;, my kids sat quietly through a movie at 2 and 3. if you want a &quot;take home&quot; value I think 4 or 5 is a good age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastActivityDate="2013-04-02T14:14:51.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7745" CreationDate="2013-04-02T16:04:24.963" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids all did fine from about the age of 3.  The only real way to know which movie to pick is by seeing what they like at home.  My kids all have wildly different taste in movies, so usually I take them one at a time.  Sometimes they get bored during exposition, but just require a quiet reminder from me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't really judge it by how much they sit still to watch a movie at home.  At home, my six year old son only lasts around 10 minutes before he wants to get up and act out the parts or run around or something, but in a theater he does pretty well because I'm there to refocus him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-02T16:04:24.963" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7745" CreationDate="2013-04-02T17:13:05.013" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends entirely on the child. As for: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;what to do if they are bored after 5 minutes&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Leave. Be prepared to NOT make it through the entire film and be OK leaving early if need be. That takes a lot of stress out of the whole process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-04-02T17:13:05.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7750" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7751" CreationDate="2013-04-02T17:31:40.630" Score="14" ViewCount="1335" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a moderately strict rule about electronics time at the house -- as long as their homework, chores, or other responsibilities are finished, each kid gets to play a computer or video game for an hour plus watch TV/movies for an hour. We also have an &quot;electronic-free&quot; day every week, where nobody (not even parents) uses the TV or computer. This has so far worked quite well for the nine-year-old. However, we're running into trouble with the five-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's told his time is up and the game needs to turn off, or the TV show is over and it's time to do something else, he gets angry and throws a tantrum. Generally this includes denying that the right amount of time has passed (even though we use a timer), claiming that he wasn't paying attention, insisting that he didn't have a good time and so he should get to start over -- the excuses are often fairly creative, come to think of it. He's not picky about games -- whether it's the computer, my phone, even a random stranger's iPad, he will ask to play with it and get angry if he can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can play happily with blocks, cars, legos, dirt and sticks, and other things, but when he's focused on getting back to a computer game, he insists there's nothing enjoyable besides the computer game. He doesn't perceive it as fun unless there's a battery or power cord. Should I worry about this, and/or try to channel his enthusiasm in a different direction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-21T16:41:17.983" LastActivityDate="2020-08-21T16:41:17.983" Title="Strategies to reduce computer game interest" Tags="|tantrums|television|video-games|screen-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7750" CreationDate="2013-04-02T19:17:40.807" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;We addressed the &quot;addiction&quot; part of your question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5926/644&quot;&gt;previously&lt;/a&gt;, but I wanted to talk about the behavior part.  First, you shouldn't expect it to be as easy for your five year-old as it is for your nine year-old.  Nine year-olds live a lot less &quot;in the moment&quot; compared to five year-olds, have developed more interests, and have learned more coping strategies for not getting what they want.  Different kids also have different interest levels in any given activity.  Giving them the same limits isn't necessarily fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the behavior, I would start by setting the timer for 5 or 10 minutes early, to give him some warning and time to prepare, instead of an abrupt end when he's &quot;in the zone.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also gives you an opportunity to tie his behavior to his desired reward.  If he reacts badly to the warning, he doesn't get the last 10 minutes.  If he reacts properly, you can reward him with more time in an hour, provided he doesn't mope around during that hour.  That gives him a clear path to get what he wants, which is more game time, and if he doesn't, it's his fault instead of yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-04-02T19:17:40.807" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7745" CreationDate="2013-04-02T19:22:57.610" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What age can you expect a child to happily sit through a movie&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It depends on how much media consumption they've been trained to handle.&lt;/strong&gt; My 3½ year old watches about five minutes of TV per day, just one episode of &lt;em&gt;Barbapapa&lt;/em&gt; before bed. He wouldn't last long in a cinema. On the other hand, some pre-schoolers spend between one and three hours per day in front of the TV so for them a cinema trip would be nothing out of the ordinary. (Effects of that is discussed &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3/at-what-age-should-a-child-be-introduced-to-the-television&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2607/is-there-any-consensus-among-researchers-concerning-the-effects-of-watching-tele&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think there's a chance your kids will be bored (or mentally overloaded) after five minutes, then &lt;strong&gt;they're not ready for the cinema.&lt;/strong&gt; They need to be able to concentrate (not start fussing) for at least an hour. As DA01 said, be ready, prepared and willing to leave the cinema at a moment's notice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;which movie to pick&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Adhere to the advisory ratings;&lt;/strong&gt; they do serve a meaningful purpose. Pick a movie that is  truly aimed at the age of your kids. Too often I see parents with very young kids going into Disney-category movies that are way beyond them. You're not doing them any favors when choosing titles aimed above their age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pre-screen the movie yourself.&lt;/strong&gt; Go and see it yourself, &lt;em&gt;all of it,&lt;/em&gt; to make sure there aren't any unwanted surprises that you'll have to sort out later. (Try this one on for size: Did you know that Disney's &lt;em&gt;Bambi&lt;/em&gt; essentially begins with the death of Bambi's mother?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T06:53:16.313" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7753" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-02T20:52:12.177" Score="11" ViewCount="19726" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two of my daughter's 8-year-old class mates taught my daughter how to use the middle finger.  My daughter is now obsessed and won't stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't use this at home and find it offensive.  However, she uses it all the time, so we have taken play dates away, we have put her on time outs. But she just won't stop.  Now her younger 7-year-old sister is trying it on for size.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4146" LastEditorUserId="32548" LastEditDate="2018-07-09T23:33:05.883" LastActivityDate="2019-10-28T02:36:33.523" Title="My 8-year-old daughter was taught by her classmates how to use the middle finger. How do I get her to stop this behavior?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|middle-childhood|profanity|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7753" CreationDate="2013-04-03T01:07:32.957" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried explaining to her what it means? Not in its entirety of course, but maybe something along the lines of: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Giving someone the middle finger is like telling them, in the meanest way possible, that you dislike them. This goes beyond 'not being polite' and, besides making the person you are giving the middle finger to feel very bad, it reflects poorly on you. It tells others that you are disrespectful of others and their feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If explaining it like above doesn't work (or hasn't worked already), try asking how she would feel if someone did that to her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What would she think it means?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Would she be upset?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How would she feel about the person who did it, after the fact?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can then use her responses to help her put herself in the shoes of those she is using the middle finger towards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found that, in general, children don't want to hurt others. They may think something is funny or not think through what they are doing, which ends up hurting people, but they (generally) try to learn from those experiences so as not to hurt others again. Also, at the age of 8, children are still learning how to tell the difference between &quot;right&quot; and &quot;wrong&quot; behavior when it comes to social interactions/how it impacts others emotionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4147" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-09T15:32:43.593" LastActivityDate="2018-07-09T15:32:43.593" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7750" CreationDate="2013-04-03T05:01:15.260" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Generally this includes denying that the right amount of time has passed (even though we use a timer), claiming that he wasn't paying attention, insisting that he didn't have a good time and so he should get to start over -- &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried to get a timer which &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;speaks&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;? I mean, for example, the total time is 60 minutes, so the clock should shout &lt;strong&gt;after EVERY 10 minutes&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;X amount of time is left, be quick&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is possible that the child gets too immersed in the games that he actually forgets to look at the timer. Often when we are doing our favorite activities the time flies fast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T05:01:15.260" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5913" CreationDate="2013-04-03T05:40:29.097" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advise would be to get her a &lt;em&gt;book&lt;/em&gt; meant for children which teaches about menstruation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book should be filled with &lt;em&gt;non-frightening&lt;/em&gt; pictures of the human body with a simple-to-understand language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason is that she &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; feel embarrassed to ask questions about this to her father. The good book will answer her questions in her &lt;em&gt;privacy&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, she should be given a desk/wall calendar in which she can mark her due dates. This will prevent her from forgetting the date of her next period, and thus avoid getting into embarrassing situations if she is out of home during the next menses' date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She should be told to &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; carry two pads and a tight underwear in her purse (many girls have irregular periods). This will give her a sense of self confidence that there is nothing to worry about even if the periods start a week earlier than the due date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also think that the father should forget that she's a &lt;em&gt;&quot;girl&quot;&lt;/em&gt;. If the father feels awkward/ashamed to talk about &lt;em&gt;blood coming out of the vagina&lt;/em&gt; to her, &lt;strong&gt;the girl will sense it&lt;/strong&gt;, and then she might also start feeling embarrassed and ashamed about the same. This will add to her miseries since she already has no one to share her pains with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The father should talk to her as he would talk to his male friends. If he feels that the girl is shying away from him, he should &lt;em&gt;strongly&lt;/em&gt; tell her, &quot;&lt;em&gt;Why are you shying about this? This is &lt;strong&gt;normal&lt;/strong&gt; and it is a sign that you are healthy. In fact, if it doesn't happen then you should start worrying. See, the book also says the same&lt;/em&gt;&quot;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-07-24T22:52:59.853" LastActivityDate="2013-07-24T22:52:59.853" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="792" CreationDate="2013-04-03T07:38:21.763" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes it is very common in subcontinent and contrary to medical science, we have not seen any baby illness due to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4148" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T07:38:21.763" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7745" CreationDate="2013-04-03T10:00:07.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This varies so much from child to child I'm not sure their is a useful answer other than just to try them. In a worst case you will have wasted a few pounds/dollars/euro etc and have to leave early. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest enjoyed films from about 4, but my middle daughter was not a fan until she was about 6. I remember taking her about her fifth birthday and she wandered off under the seats in front for a while. We weren't worried as it was an empty cinema and we could hear her, but when she returned chewing on a sweet she had found we decided not to take her back until she had a better attention span. &#xA;My youngest has watched films since before she was 3 and could always concentrate for an entire film. I think she picked this up through exposure via her siblings. . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T10:00:07.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7760" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-03T17:45:00.967" Score="1" ViewCount="27807" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard that in some areas it is illegal to leave a child unattended in a car, even for an instant, and possibly even if you are within direct sight of the care.  It seems that the laws for this vary from area to area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barring specific laws, how old should a child be before they are left alone in a car?  Under what circumstances is this acceptable (within sight, out of sight but reachable by cell phone, under a certain duration, etc.)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what point does an older sibling being present count as not leaving a younger child alone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="3416" LastEditDate="2013-04-11T15:37:31.957" LastActivityDate="2013-07-23T12:41:02.060" Title="At what age can a child be left alone in a parked car?" Tags="|safety|maturity|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2013-07-23T15:03:01.563" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7760" CreationDate="2013-04-03T18:05:09.840" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing special about a car. Alone at home, alone in a car, alone in the mall - they're all the same from a legal standpoint. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back when I was babysitting age, 12 was the magic age. At 12 you could babysit a sibling or a stranger, or you could be left alone. That was also the age the airlines used to define unaccompanied minor. The law where you live may declare something similar, or may not specify an age. Twelve seems reasonable to me, for most 12-year-olds anyway and for short periods of time alone. I don't think I'd leave an infant with a 12 year old though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T18:05:09.840" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7744" CreationDate="2013-04-03T18:57:28.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (just turned 5) was like that, and he eventually grew out of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We took a couple different approaches. On the punishment side, we'd go with time-out, or isolation in his room; we felt that giving him a lot of interaction for his bad behavior would just be rewarding it. (He has two older sisters, so it didn't particularly surprise us that he would decide that &quot;bad attention is better than no attention.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the training side, we would teach him some alternative behaviors, like blowing instead of biting. To be honest, other people found the blowing bothersome too, but in our view it was miles better than biting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general we found that if we gave him a ton of attention, that would keep his behavior good, but of course sometimes (especially with the other kids) that just isn't possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the behavior lasts into preschool (it did for us), it will cause problems with the other kids, teachers and parents. You will want to pick the school carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1502" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T18:57:28.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7686" CreationDate="2013-04-03T20:16:44.190" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At home we have the same kind of discipline as described in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2417/how-can-we-discipline-our-toddler?lq=1&quot;&gt;this answer : How can we discipline our toddler ?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically I have found that the most important thing (with my 2-years old daughter at least) is to :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;warn first&lt;/strong&gt; about the consequences &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;do what you said&lt;/strong&gt; afterwards&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically this would mean in your case (after a first, more casual request) &lt;em&gt;&quot;Son, if you don't give me back my phone right now, you will spend 3 minutes in the naughty corner. You sure you want to be punished and go the corner ?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; And in the next seconds you calmly but firmly drive him to the corner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T20:16:44.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2013-04-03T20:32:56.490" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is 20 months older than her brother and they used to get on togethere really well as children. (I have no siblings). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we aimed for &lt;strong&gt;about 18 months&lt;/strong&gt; difference and were lucky. Our daughter also accepted really well her little brother (now 8 months old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Amongst my colleagues it is also a shared opinion that having &lt;strong&gt;a daughter 2 years older than the son is the easiest case&lt;/strong&gt; since she naturally plays the role of a &quot;second mother&quot; for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also agree with the answer by jny about spacing pregnancies. 18 months is already quite exhausting for the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would add &lt;strong&gt;one important thing which seems not be mentioned&lt;/strong&gt; in other answers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You have no real control about when you will conceive a child !&lt;/strong&gt; We were quite lucky with that but speaking with friends and colleagues the time can vary up to several years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have checked for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.fr/a6300098/combien-de-temps-me-faudra-t-il-pour-r%C3%A9ussir-%C3%A0-concevoir-un-b%C3%A9b%C3%A9-&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;some sources on that&lt;/a&gt; (in French sorry) :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Assuming both of you are fertile and you have regular intercourse&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you have about 25% of conceiving every month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;about 84% of couples conceive the first year&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8% more will succeed the second year&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We knew that and did not put too much pressure on our shoulders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastActivityDate="2013-04-03T20:32:56.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7765" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-04T02:54:19.780" Score="3" ViewCount="2129" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are so fortunate that many people have given us presents for our newborn.&#xA;Some of the gifts we really enjoy.  Others, not so much.  We generally give away the gifts that we don't want (for whatever reason), either to friends or to charity.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we have received some gifts that we don't want that are personalized.  My son's name is common enough, but his birthdate and name together are not necessarily easy to match.  How do I give these gifts to someone who will appreciate them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3376" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-02T18:14:24.067" LastActivityDate="2018-11-02T18:14:24.067" Title="What to do with unwanted personalized gifts?" Tags="|presents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7767" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7807" CreationDate="2013-04-04T05:33:57.537" Score="1" ViewCount="11451" Body="&lt;p&gt;My in laws have a custom of washing the infant with Turmeric powder rather than any soap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should an infant be washed with turmeric powder? Any side effects?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long duration can this be prolonged?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-04-04T07:47:11.613" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T21:49:40.777" Title="Should an infant be washed with turmeric powder?" Tags="|infant|bathing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="30" CreationDate="2013-04-04T06:21:47.900" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe as early as 5. But i feel you’ll know that they’re old enough the first time that they ask you for money to buy something. This is a certain indicator that they’re beginning to understand this concept. You’ll give them money, and they’ll spend it all on something that they want... This shows they need money to buy things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to give children a simple allowance to help them become comfortable with the notion of  money...they will get money from relatives for their birthdays and other occasions and I think it is important to let them know what that means to have their own money...our children learn to swim and read at this age so why shouldn’t we be teaching them about understanding money as well...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for conditions... The key in our family is tracking the money we give our kids. Without tracking, i’m just the bank of mom and dad throwing money to the wind. We tried using dry erase boards but that was too hard to manage. A free tool we’ve been using that works well for our family is called www.allowancemanager.com . It really helps us remember how much we’ve given to the kids - something I always seem to forget! Hope this helps! If anyone else has suggestions, I’d love to hear them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4152" LastEditorUserId="4152" LastEditDate="2013-04-04T21:49:38.093" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T21:49:38.093" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7769" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7772" CreationDate="2013-04-04T09:53:39.260" Score="9" ViewCount="1234" Body="&lt;p&gt;Considering &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6806/music-for-gestation-what-should-baby-be-hearing-while-in-the-womb&quot;&gt;Music for gestation - what should baby be hearing while in the womb?&lt;/a&gt; that babies can hear sounds inside the womb, I also expect myself to hear the baby crying or making sounds inside the womb. I cannot hear anything from the baby's side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does a baby cry inside the womb? Or the crying process starts once he comes out? What's the logic behind this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-04-11T15:37:42.083" Title="Does a baby cry inside the womb?" Tags="|pregnancy|crying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7770" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7805" CreationDate="2013-04-04T10:22:55.597" Score="5" ViewCount="375" Body="&lt;p&gt;What kind of cloth should be preferred?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What should be the thickness of the cloth?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What should be the shape and size of the cloth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do we have to use a polythene cover on the outer side of the diaper to prevent leakage?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T03:07:15.367" Title="What qualities should be looked in cloth diapers?" Tags="|diaper|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7771" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7780" CreationDate="2013-04-04T10:29:09.517" Score="8" ViewCount="1666" Body="&lt;p&gt;The daytime temperature here is 45 degree Celsius in summers.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We have a ceiling fan. We also have covered our window panes with Aluminum foil to reduce the impact of heat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what kind of (and how many) clothes does a new born need to wear in this environment so that he doesn't get sick from either heat or cold?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. I can't keep him naked always.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T13:53:28.057" Title="What kind of clothes does a new born need to wear in summers?" Tags="|infant|clothes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7769" CreationDate="2013-04-04T11:02:13.753" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need air to pass over your vocal cords for vocalizations like an infants cry to start.  However, it has been &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=&amp;amp;esrc=s&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=1&amp;amp;cad=rja&amp;amp;ved=0CDQQtwIwAA&amp;amp;url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi-01eITZaU&amp;amp;ei=xl1dUePKOIj88gSZuIGIAQ&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNGUFpwBAWWiU-9G_4kHGICUFYq1SQ&amp;amp;sig2=8RgS_h8agUoQWyIr0YnCRw&amp;amp;bvm=bv.44770516,d.eWU&quot;&gt;observed&lt;/a&gt; that fetuses in the womb will make crying-like movements with their mouths, so they're certainly practicing in utero for blasting our eardrums when they arrive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T11:02:13.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7773" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7781" CreationDate="2013-04-04T11:21:16.223" Score="3" ViewCount="23213" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have observed that in the seventh month when I lay down on the floor and turn right side (for a while), the baby starts kicking.  Then when I turn on my back, the kickings decrease noticeably. &lt;strong&gt;Have observed this behavior many times.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this indicate that baby feels discomfort in my particular sleeping position?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What should be the ideal sleeping posture in the third trimester of pregnancy? I don't have a big belly yet  &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;nor do I sleep on my stomach&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="3416" LastEditDate="2013-04-10T14:09:56.293" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T14:09:56.293" Title="What should be the ideal sleeping posture in the third trimester of pregnancy?" Tags="|sleep|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7773" CreationDate="2013-04-04T11:35:41.523" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless your ante-natal team tell you that you require a specific position in order to move your baby from an awkward position, then the guidance is to make sure you are comfortable yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby is very well protected and will be comfortable in many positions. If not, they will move to another position. Kicking is not a sign of the baby being uncomfortable, in fact it could be a sign that they have more room in that position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T11:35:41.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7771" CreationDate="2013-04-04T13:42:13.237" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;During hot summers, the general guidance is to keep them cool but covered from the sun. If you are filtering sunlight anyway, you don't need to worry so much about coverage from the sun, so clothe them in enough layers they feel comfortably warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, in a hot Scottish summer (25 degrees C or more) we would just put a vest, a sun hat and a nappy on our babies, and give them quite a lot of time with no clothes at all. But in the evening we would add a blanket or layers. I would imagine that growing up in 45 degree summers would mean you and your child would require many more layers here, so you need to tailor the clothing to the individual, not necessarily the absolute temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will let you know when they are uncomfortable, and you will rapidly learn what their cry is for too hot, or too cold. This is an aspect new parents often worry about, but babies do communicate quite well, with different cries to let you know what they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T13:42:13.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7773" CreationDate="2013-04-04T13:44:49.967" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/sleep/articles/2011/06/15/could-sleeping-on-left-side-help-prevent-stillbirth&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;At least one study&lt;/a&gt; shows that sleeping on your left side is the position least associated with a stillbirth.  Sleeping on your right side is less-preferrable, but more preferrable to sleeping on your back.  Spending large amounts of time on your back during pregnancy is not recommended, although the overall rate of stillbirth remains low no matter what the maternal sleeping position is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T13:44:49.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7765" CreationDate="2013-04-04T13:47:11.580" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would keep them for later. A newborn doesn't need a coin bank, for example. Nobody else is going to want a coin bank with your child's name and birthdate. A twelve year old will happily save coins in a jam jar. But a twenty-something, moving out into their own apartment, may be delighted and touched to have a coin bank, engraved with their name and birthdate, that was a gift from a relative who may now be gone. It can be in their new home as a reminder of how they were celebrated from the moment they were born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are only going to keep objects for your child that are to your taste, you are going to have unhappy friends and relatives, and possibly an unhappy child. Those of us whose homes are full of brightly coloured plastic things, tacky stuffed animals with oversized eyes, and silly posters from TV shows and movies aren't tasteless morons who like that kind of thing. We're parents. We let our children have things that excite them and we let people give our children things we would never have bought ourselves. You might as well get used to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T13:47:11.580" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7760" CreationDate="2013-04-04T13:47:27.107" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK the laws don't really specify, but there is a great deal of emphasis on the child's capability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, we let our 10 and 12 year old cycle to the shop by themselves (about a mile away) but we wouldn't leave them alone in a car for that length of time or at that distance - the risk profile is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they were babies, if they fell asleep in the car on the way home we would leave them in the car with a window ajar, parked in front of the house so we could check on them regularly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby strapped into a car seat is in most situations a much lower risk than a teenager, who may want to play with the handbrake etc. so age isn't necessarily what you should focus on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T13:47:27.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7771" CreationDate="2013-04-04T13:53:28.057" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Light clothing.  My daughter was born at the height of summer around here which generally averages in the mid to upper 90s degrees Fahrenheit (32+ degrees Celcius).  Granted, not quite as hot as 113 degrees Fahrenheit...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Onesies are your best friend.  Short-sleeved onesies with no legs like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gerberchildrenswear.com/Short-Sleeve-Onesies%C2%AE-One-Piece-Underwear/6940343DRBN3,default,pd.html?start=4&amp;amp;cgid=gerber-onesiesbrand-neutral&quot;&gt;these&lt;/a&gt;.  If your baby starts to get cold, you can always throw a light blanket over him or if he's too hot you can take the onesie off and allow him some time with just a diaper or naked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're going to take him outside, make sure he's covered so that you protect his sensitive skin.  A wide-brimmed hat to protect his face, for example.  For little babies, it's sometimes easiest to keep them in their strollers so you can keep the sun off of them with either the attached sunshade or with a light blanket.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby-wearing can also be a good way to protect their skin from the sun when you're out as many of the typical newborn carries involve covering their whole bodies with the baby carrier.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T13:53:28.057" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7773" CreationDate="2013-04-04T14:21:07.213" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is not, generally, recommended that pregnant women &lt;a href=&quot;http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/sleepingpositions.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sleep on their back&lt;/a&gt; late in their pregnancies.  Besides the fact that this increases the likelihood of heartburn, the weight of your growing uterus puts pressure on your aorta and vena cava which can restrict blood flow to both you and your baby.  I've had at least one friend who almost passed out when she was lying on her back for an ultrasound because of restricted blood flow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleeping on your left side is ideal as it increases the amount of nutrients that reach your placenta and, thus, your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T14:21:07.213" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7782" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-04T15:56:10.980" Score="14" ViewCount="21947" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even though I live in the U.S., I find using a fork inefficient and clumsy.  I'd like to teach my son how to use chopsticks as an alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to do this without interfering with his learning how to use a fork?  Being proficient with a fork is still the higher priority, as chopsticks aren't very common around here (although we keep some at home).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 2 and a half now.  When should I start?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do families from cultures where chopsticks are the norm teach their children to use them?  I've seen a variety of &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=children%27s+chopsticks&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;tbo=u&amp;amp;source=univ&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=IqJdUb-yA5OI9QS10YGYCQ&amp;amp;ved=0CFIQsAQ&amp;amp;biw=1600&amp;amp;bih=815&quot;&gt;&quot;children's chopsticks&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, where the two sticks are connected, but are they effective at teaching?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2019-01-21T10:06:51.847" Title="How and when do I teach my son to use chopsticks?" Tags="|toddler|education|food|teaching|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7686" CreationDate="2013-04-04T16:53:42.690" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have had a lot luck with 1-2-3 magic when we stick to it. Even when he was two years old. This involves no screaming or trying to reason with the child just counting for each time he doesn't listen and putting the child in timeout without talking to the child while putting them in or while in timeout. Also after the time is up the issue is done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1889140430&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; title=&quot;1-2-3 Magic&quot;&gt;1-2-3 Magic&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1313" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T16:53:42.690" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7784" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7785" CreationDate="2013-04-04T17:06:55.597" Score="5" ViewCount="5185" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infant will be on his bed, so how will I know that it is the time to change his diaper?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Do I have to wait for his crying?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Do I have to check every 15 minutes whether his diaper is wet or not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These would be cloth diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;New question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How to check the diaper every hour at night? Should I set an alarm after every hour to get up and check for wet diapers every night? What is a practical solution for this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T10:02:08.930" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T15:31:02.197" Title="How often should the cloth diaper be changed and how to know when it is the time to change the diapers?" Tags="|infant|diaper|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7784" CreationDate="2013-04-04T17:23:23.537" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, an hour or two between changes is fairly typical. It takes a while to produce more urine or feces, so you can expect more than 15 minutes before diaper changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Waiting for the infant to cry is not perfectly reliable, because some children don't seem to mind wet diapers -- my youngest finds a wet diaper to be pure torture, my oldest couldn't have cared less. Most babies &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; like wet diapers as much as dry, and &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; fuss to let you know it's time; you only need to schedule diaper checks if you notice your child is not bothered by a wet diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right after waking up, and right after eating, tend to be popular times to eliminate waste. Other triggers may be bath water or cool air. (For example, when you open a diaper to change, that's the PERFECT time to pee all over the place.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not recommend waking yourself up to check whether a diaper is wet; a very young baby will be waking up to eat frequently anyway, and so diaper checks can be done at the same time. If a diaper has been soiled enough to irritate the skin (leading to redness and/or rash), then the baby will be crying about it, which will wake you up anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not a big problem for a baby to be in a wet diaper for a little while, &lt;em&gt;as long as they are not crying or obviously distressed by it&lt;/em&gt; -- if a diaper is only slightly damp, it may not wake up the baby, and it is very unlikely to cause irritation. It is probably far more valuable for both you and the baby to get rest instead of worrying whether the diapers are perfectly clean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T15:31:02.197" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T15:31:02.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7784" CreationDate="2013-04-04T17:24:58.180" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some babies are extremely sensitive, and will cry about the slightest wetness.  Some babies will have a huge soaking blowout in the middle of the night and barely make a peep.  We've had both ways.  If you're lucky, your baby will be somewhere in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborns wake up to get fed &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt;, so generally you'll be just fine if you check the diaper just before and just after a feeding.  If the baby's awake and you're interacting, it's no big deal to check every 15 minutes or so, and eventually you'll be able to tell from outward signs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time your baby starts sleeping longer and going longer between feedings, you'll have a pretty good idea of his individual schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T17:24:58.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5130" CreationDate="2013-04-04T19:06:24.157" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes I had ear infection before the specialist said use a bit Vaseline on the cotton ball to put in ears like wearing ear plugs to prevent the water getting into ears. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4156" LastActivityDate="2013-04-04T19:06:24.157" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7788" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7792" CreationDate="2013-04-05T07:06:30.843" Score="5" ViewCount="25746" Body="&lt;p&gt;My doctor has said that since the WHO's website doesn't mention that DHA (Docosahexaenoic acid, an omega-3 fatty acid) intake is compulsory, she won't be talking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am referring to the vegetarian sources of DHA such as algae.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what month of pregnancy should DHA intake be started so that it actually helps the brain development of the infant?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-04-05T08:02:38.677" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T03:53:14.057" Title="At what month of pregnancy should the DHA intake be started?" Tags="|pregnancy|nutrition|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7782" CreationDate="2013-04-05T14:21:39.173" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 2 and a half I'd concentrate on his learning good fork and spoon skills as that's what he needs in the US. Chopsticks are great to learn, but in the US it's more a skill to impress your friends and look cool than a survival skill. Once he's got the utensils that he's going to use in nursery school and kindergarten down pat go ahead and move on to chopsticks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how to teach him I'd just hand him regular chopsticks and let him soldier on. Training chopsticks don't really translate into real chopstick skills, they just let someone think they're using chopsticks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-04-05T14:21:39.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7782" CreationDate="2013-04-05T15:08:33.213" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our nearly-two-years old (23,5 months) son has been &quot;using&quot; chopsticks for about three months. We had an Asian stir-fry for supper one night and he wanted to use the chop sticks just like Mama and Papa so we gave him a pair. He managed to eat most of his plate (the noodles were easy, the tofu was crumbly and difficult!). He mostly used just one stick and shoveled it up and then switched back to his fork when it became too difficult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are never too young to learn something new. My advice is to just give him a set whenever you're using them (in addition to his normal utensil) and he'll learn by watching you; no pressure. If it's not working for him, he can switch back (or use his hands!). Of course it's not a survival tool to use chop sticks as GdD points out, but who cares?! It was a lot of fun for him to do (and us to watch)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3356" LastActivityDate="2013-04-05T15:08:33.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7788" CreationDate="2013-04-05T15:19:47.130" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While the benefits of DHA are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/20/health/research/20fishoil.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;disputed&lt;/a&gt;, it appears that you can start as early as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/DHA-During-Pregnancy-Wards-Off-Colds-in-Early-Infancy-.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;week 18&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In the double-blind study, “Prenatal Docosahexaenoic Acid Supplementation and Infant Morbidity: Randomized Controlled Trial,” published in the September 2011 issue of Pediatrics (published online Aug. 1), pregnant women in Mexico were supplemented daily with 400 mg of DHA or placebo from &lt;strong&gt;18 to 22 weeks gestation through childbirth&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that a study in 2010 &lt;a href=&quot;http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=186750&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;found no difference in the rate of post-partum depression or cognitive development of the children&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this result apparently &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12509593&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;conflicts with an earlier study from 2003&lt;/a&gt; (which also started the pregnant mothers on supplements at week 18).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-04-05T15:19:47.130" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7793" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-05T16:22:42.767" Score="2" ViewCount="53" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3-year-old girl is extremely afraid of bathing! We ask her why, but she just says &quot;I just afraid&quot;. We tried putting toys in the water; she plays with them and the water but does not allow us to give her a shower. She just cries loudly and say to us &quot;please give me up!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She extremly hates water falling on her head and body, and we have to do this for her health :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anybody have any experience to help us, please? Thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2609" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-04-05T16:53:47.697" LastActivityDate="2013-04-05T16:53:47.697" Title="How to teach a 3-year-old baby to not be afraid of bathing?" Tags="|bathing|fears|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2013-04-05T16:54:14.560" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7782" CreationDate="2013-04-05T17:14:59.193" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife, who is from Taiwan, and I use chopsticks for most dinners.  Our kids know how to use them, and what I did was take my cue from her: when they are old enough to hold a fork, they are old enough for chopsticks.  When she was teaching them she stuck them together somehow, depending on where we were and what we had:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The quick and easy method was put some folded paper at the end of the chopstick and tie it up with a rubber band, this gives a good space between the sticks and makes it easy for the kids to learn to pick them up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In some Chinese markets you can get kids lunchboxes. Some come with kid friendly chopstcks which are smaller, and you can combine them with the paper and rubber band to make them easy to use&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some Asian markets either have a plastic clip you can put sticks in, and it holds them together, or you can find a rubber piece that holds the sticks in the same fashion but usually has a kid friendly shape - these are similar to the Children's Chopsticks you link to, and yes they worked for us&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They watched us and tried on their own, and it worked well.  Only problem was the type of food they used; rice and small things are hard, so we gave them spoons for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry so much about forks, unless you are eating some type of Asian food for every meal there are still plenty of fork-centric meals available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2019-01-21T10:06:51.847" LastActivityDate="2019-01-21T10:06:51.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7782" CreationDate="2013-04-05T20:18:22.427" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids enjoy chopsticks. You can start with beginner chopsticks,  which are joined and sprung, well before they can use a fork. Noodles are especially fun, and make dinner an excellent game. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids started using real chopsticks at about 4 years old, mostly to copy us as we really enjoy Thai and Chinese food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just do it. It gives them an extra thing they can do, and may help them feel more comfortable if they are out at a Chinese restaurant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-04-05T20:18:22.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2013-04-06T01:22:28.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Wetting her hair by having her lean back into my hand and dipping the back of her head is the same...she's very emotionally uncomfortable in this position. (Once, I even put her on her back in the empty bathtub before turning the water on, and she panicked and got up very quickly.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be possible that it is all about the &quot;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;position&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; in which you make the child sit while bathing, since lying down completely in someone's arms or in front of someone is a way of surrendering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In India, we don't usually have bath tubs in houses. We have taps. So, I have spent all my life by now by sitting in the squatting position on a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tarangarts.com/images/large/Chowki_1_1403.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Chowki&lt;/a&gt; with my head bent down. I shut my eyes tightly. Bring the hair down and try to keep it all in front of the ears rather than behind or over them.  This way when I put the water with a mug on my head, I know exactly how much quantity can I tolerate at one go, and how to put the water carefully so that it doesn't get in the ears, when to stop and when to start etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give her the control and see if that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T01:22:28.313" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2013-04-06T02:11:07.170" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the most major point on there is &quot;It will cost more money.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Draw up some numbers.&lt;/strong&gt;  Make an Excel spreadsheet to make your case.  Consider your financial future in the first couple of years.  &quot;I make $x per year.  Each child costs $y/year..&quot;  It may actually look &quot;impossible&quot; and mean great sacrifice for a few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if the numbers support the idea, don't rule it out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T02:11:07.170" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7782" CreationDate="2013-04-06T03:53:59.737" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How many adults or teenagers do you know who are eating with their fingers because using tools is too hard? Right, not that many.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry too much about him &quot;learning to use a fork&quot;. Just use chopsticks some meals (the little plastic holder that holds them together is great) and fork and spoon other meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 4 and 2 year olds each with chopsticks very occasionally (when we are having sushi or otherwise think of it) and they're more or less figuring it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't think it's fun with the chopsticks (or with the fork for that matter) just put it away and try again a few weeks or months later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2428" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T03:53:59.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7782" CreationDate="2013-04-06T04:33:20.623" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about interfering with learning to use a fork or spoon; young children can learn and master all kinds of different things all at once without getting confused. Kids can easily learn to speak multiple languages. Besides, you don't teach kids to use a fork before moving on to the spoon, right? What's important is to expose kids to things at an early age and give them opportunities for regular practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using chopsticks properly requires a certain grip and technique; it's not just a matter of squeezing two sticks together to pick something up. When using chopsticks, the proper technique is to hold the bottom stick stationary while the top stick is the one that actually moves to pick things up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yPKey.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The training chopsticks like the ones from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=bl_sr_kitchen?_encoding=UTF8&amp;amp;field-brandtextbin=Edison&amp;amp;node=1055398&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Edison&lt;/a&gt; (pictured above) have finger rings to teach proper finger placement and grip (similar to kids pencil grips) and should help to develop this technique and reduce the initial frustration. They also have fun characters to make it interesting for the kids. It's still not exactly like real chopsticks, but it will help build confidence to make the transition to the real thing. They even have a stage 2 version that has the pivot point at the fingers instead of at the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it helps if the adults are all using chopsticks, since kids will naturally want to do whatever the &quot;grown-ups&quot; are doing and it will seem normal to them. Finally, you want to serve food that is easy to pick up with chopsticks; there should be small pieces with flat sides and not too oily or slippery. You don't want anything too small or round like peas. Noodles are easy too. Rice is good if it is properly sticky. (This is part of the reason why Asian food doesn't have big slabs of meat like steak or pork chops.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4160" LastEditorUserId="4160" LastEditDate="2013-04-08T14:41:16.453" LastActivityDate="2013-04-08T14:41:16.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2013-04-06T17:34:09.467" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just say no if you don't want any more children and let her deal with it, it may sound harsh but you have not been unreasonable or selfish because you already fulfil the role of a good husband and father by loving and supporting three children and your wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be coerced into it if you really don't want another child because what you want out of your marriage and life matters just as much as what you wife wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T17:34:09.467" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7803" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7806" CreationDate="2013-04-06T18:56:22.683" Score="15" ViewCount="3032" Body="&lt;p&gt;I notice that just about all young children's stories (fairy tales, etc) depict women in a subordinate role. This hit me while reading Cinderella: her ultimate goal in life is to be the prettiest so that she can marry the rich boy and make babies. More generally, females are absent, or if present, they're following boys or performing household tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having two daughters, I can't help but think that they'll in some way absorb this cultural baggage. I would rather raise them to be self-reliant and independent, and ready to embrace desires other than cooking and finding a boyfriend. Can anyone recommend any good sources of beginner-level books/movies/etc that have a more egalitarian approach?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-04-10T19:01:04.770" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T04:22:16.533" Title="What stories for children have strong female role models?" Tags="|education|history|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="9" CommunityOwnedDate="2013-04-10T14:04:19.657" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6870" CreationDate="2013-04-06T19:11:53.357" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A search of several educational databases is not turning up any articles to directly address your question. As you note, most people using home-schooling internationally are expatriates, so searching sites focusing on expatriate home-schooling may yield some helpful &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.k12.com/int/stories/what-people-say#.UWBhuVdkFZA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;testimonials&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best bet might be to initiate conversations with a few schools to find out how well they serve people in your situation. In particular, you might contact the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.k12.com/int#.UWBx2FdkFZA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;K12 International Academy&lt;/a&gt; which has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.k12.com/int/about-our-school/global-affiliations#.UWByGVdkFZA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;global affiliations&lt;/a&gt; in Asia, Africa, Europe, and South America. You might also look at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://homeschool.calvertschool.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Calvert School&lt;/a&gt;, which has been around since 1906, is internationally accredited, and claims students in 60 countries. Either of these schools could probably connect you with parents in a situation similar to yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other homeschool options are discussed on this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.expatinfodesk.com/expat-guide/moving-with-your-children/school-systems/home-schooling/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;expat website&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T19:11:53.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7770" CreationDate="2013-04-06T19:50:44.333" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From an article by Laura Schmitt for &lt;em&gt;Mothering&lt;/em&gt; magazine (&quot;Crazy for cloth: The Benefits of Cotton Diapers.&quot; By: Schmitt, Laura, &lt;em&gt;Mothering&lt;/em&gt;, 07333013, Jan/Feb2003, Issue 116):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;If you opt for a diaper and separate cover, the diaper will not be waterproof, and its main absorbent fabric will be cotton or hemp. It is best to avoid diapers that blend in polyester or other synthetic fabrics, as they repel water and therefore don't absorb as well as a 100 percent natural-fiber diaper.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unbleached fabric lasts longer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Organic cotton hasn't &quot;been treated with pesticides and chemicals in the growth process.&quot; Organic Egyptian cotton is known for its softness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Terry cloth and soft flannel are durable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;A blend of cotton and hemp is unmatched in absorbency and comfort.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Polyester fleece is often used as a top layer in a diaper for the purpose of wicking moisture away from the child's body and preventing diaper rash.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Twill is the standard for flat, prefold diapers. It's durable and soft, and fluffs up considerably after several washings, although it can be bulky between the legs.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For a diaper cover, choose either wool (breathes the best and can be re-waterproofed with lanolin) or cotton with an inner waterproof layer. Other waterproof fabrics do not breathe as well, but are easier to launder.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prefold diapers (traditional, rectangle shape) no longer need pins when used in conjunction with velcro diaper covers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The author prefers fitted diapers, which velcro, tie or snap creating a snug fit and preventing leakage. These still require a diaper cover.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All-in-ones are nice to have for outings, but they are expensive, take longer to dry, and may not fit as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider using liners or doublers for extra aborbency at night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I accessed this article through the Ebsco databases at my library. If you would like to read the whole article, contact your local library for easy instructions. The full article also includes a cost analysis and washing instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T19:50:44.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7803" CreationDate="2013-04-06T20:33:57.547" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Library Association is a sponsor of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://ameliabloomer.wordpress.com/2013/01/28/the-2013-amelia-bloomer-project/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Amelia Bloomer project&lt;/a&gt;, which looks each year for children's literature (both fiction and nonfiction) with strong female characters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your local library is a great resource.  Ask the librarians at your local library. They should be able to make some suggestions and recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to remember that fairy tales operate on many levels - they are archetypal and symbolic, and while we as adults often read them very literally, children are sometimes more open to underlying messages. Put simply (and probably over-simply), we are not meant to associate only with our own gender in the story, but to relate to all characters in the story, irrespective of gender. So when I read Cinderella as a girl, I see myself not only as Cinderella, but as the prince, and the stepmother and the godmother and the stepsisters. I connect with a part of myself that wants to be beautiful, a part that wants to rescue, a part that is jealous and petty, a part that is kind and generous...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Some specific titles that portray strong female role models:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Books&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Author Jane Yolen might be of particular interest to you as she has written many &lt;a href=&quot;http://janeyolen.com/works/category/fairy-tales/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;fairy tales&lt;/a&gt; that emphasize the strong female character. She is also the author of &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://janeyolen.com/works/touch-magic/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Touch Magic: Fantasy, Faerie and Folklore in the Literature of Childhood&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; which explores the importance of fairy tales and mythology.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Robert Munsch's &lt;a href=&quot;http://robertmunsch.com/book/the-paper-bag-princess&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Paper Bag Princess&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; Take a look at his works and see if something resonates.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sun's East, Moon's West by Merrie Haskell inverts the traditional questing prince format for a questing princess. And while I have yet to read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/Princess-Curse-Merrie-Haskell/dp/0062008137/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Princess Curse&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, at least from the description, it looks to be exactly what you're looking for.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.quino.com.ar/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mafalda&lt;/a&gt; hates soup and loves Beatles.  Supercharged with adult attitudes, Mafalda is just too good to ignore.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Andrew Clements: &lt;em&gt;The School Story&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;The Landry News&lt;/em&gt;.  The first has a 12-year-old girl who has a determined girl friend (i.e., also passes &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Bechdel test&lt;/a&gt;) who helps her get her novel published.  The second is about the new girl in class who publishes her own newspaper and shakes up the teacher who was in a rut in the process.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ellen Klages: &lt;em&gt;The Green Glass Sea&lt;/em&gt;.  An 11-year-old girl joins her scientist dad in Los Alamos in 1943.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pippi_Longstocking&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pippi Longstocking&lt;/a&gt; is a good rolemodel, because she is not just a strong and independent girl who shows that she doesn't need someone to protect her, she also actively opposes those who try to protect her (by trying to put her in a foster home).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matilda_%28novel%29&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Matilda&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, by Roald Dahl&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coraline&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Coraline&lt;/a&gt; by Neil Gaiman. The eponymous heorine discovers a strange parallel world in which a warped version of her mother initially attracts her, but then turns out rather sinister.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Terry Pratchett's &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiffany_Aching&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Tiffany Aching&lt;/a&gt; series of Discworld books: The Wee Free Men, A Hat Full of Sky, Wintersmith and I Shall Wear Midnight. Can't recommend this enough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Percy_jackson&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Percy Jackson&lt;/a&gt; series by Rick Riordan. Some of the powerful girls in the series include Annabeth Chase (a total genius, despite dyslexia), Thalia Grace (one of the most powerful demigods alive), Clarisse La rue (all the guys fear her) and many, many others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Films&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The 2012 Pixar film &lt;em&gt;Brave&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/B002ZTQVLG&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The 1989 film by Hayao Miyazaki &lt;em&gt;Kiki's Delivery Service&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; features a young girl starting her own delivery service on broom!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/B0001XAPZ6&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Miyazaki's 1985 &lt;em&gt;Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; for older girls (8 and up)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Other movies by Hayao Miyazaki like &lt;em&gt;The Cat Returns&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;Spirited Away&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/B00024I2Z4&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Disney's Mulan&lt;/a&gt; which raises the issues you're concerned about&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matilda_%281996_film%29&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;1996 film, &lt;em&gt;Matilda&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, based on the book of same title by Roald Dahl.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coraline_%28film%29&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Coraline&lt;/a&gt;, the film version&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;TV&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417299/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The animated series &lt;em&gt;Avatar: The Last Airbender&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; has Katara &amp;amp; Toph as the two main female characters (for older girls 8 and up)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1695360/?ref_=fn_al_ch_1a&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Legend of Korra&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/a&gt; (for older girls 8 and up)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Websites&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amightygirl.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;A Mighty Girl&lt;/a&gt; website contains articles and product suggestions for empowering girls of all ages on a wide range of topis. Their Facebook page is also updated daily.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T13:30:04.943" CommentCount="8" CommunityOwnedDate="2013-04-10T14:04:19.657" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7767" CreationDate="2013-04-06T21:49:40.777" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Turmeric is a common ingredient in ayurvedic medicine, taken both internally and externally. In a bath or used in massage, it is said to help with skin conditions (including diaper rash), pigment issues, and excess hair. It is considered by some as a gentler alternative to soap for sensitive skin, though some types of turmeric are considered too harsh for a baby's skin. Turmeric is thought to have antimicrobial and antibacterial properties. While you should consult your pediatrician rather than take advice from the Internet, you might be interested to read Anne McIntyre's &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://annemcintyre.com/books/&quot;&gt;Herbal Treatment Of Children: Western and Ayurvedic Perspectives&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. Anne has a contact button on her website, and she may be able to address your concerns directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have searched Gale Health, Ebsco Health and Medline databases, and the research I am finding on turmeric is generally regarding internal use. There was one study done in Bangladesh in 2008 concerning infant mortality rates that noted that umbilical stumps were commonly treated with a variety of substances, including ginger and turmeric, and the finding was that this can be unhygienic.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Citation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alam, M., Ali, N., Sultana, N., Mullany, L., Teela, K., Khan, N., &amp;amp; ... Winch, P. (2008). Newborn umbilical cord and skin care in Sylhet District, Bangladesh: implications for the promotion of umbilical cord cleansing with topical chlorhexidine. Journal Of Perinatology, 28S61-S68. doi:10.1038/jp.2008.164&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-06T21:49:40.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7709" CreationDate="2013-04-07T06:05:56.103" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Penny Holland, who lectures in Early Childhood Studies at the University of North London, authored a 2000 study on the effects of a zero tolerance policy for war, weapon, and superhero play. Finding that studies that sought to find a causal connection between war and weapon play and aggression in children and later adulthood were unable to prove such a link (the behaviors were sometimes found to be associated, but the link was not causal), she decided to study the effects of a zero tolerance policy toward war, weapon, and superhero play as had been in practice in UK preschools for 30 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to looking at prior research into possible links in the behaviors, Holland considered the child’s voice (“largely silent in the debate”) and the ways in which zero tolerance reduces the fragile self-esteem and limits the imaginative development of young boys who are interested in this area of play. Her experiments with a relaxed policy in a preschool center resulted in observations of “enhanced well-being and increased involvement in a wider range of learning opportunities,” supported by research “that shows positive gains to be made from working with children’s interests in these themes.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some highlights from the article:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feminist literature of the 70s and 80s resulted in women finding their voice; “the scale and detail of women’s experience of domestic violence was documented for the first time,” and the idea that violent men grew out of violent childhoods spawned the idea that children should be rescued from learning violence. While there is evidence that children learn violence from violent adult males, the link to aggressive play with peers was an adult construct.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Holland cites three papers concerned with children’s perceptions of&#xA;war play and the differences between play fighting and real fighting.&#xA;Studies found that children viewing videos of war play were more apt&#xA;to identify it as play where adults, and particularly women adults,&#xA;labeled it aggression.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The study points to research that suggests that parental influence&#xA;(physical forms of punishment, parental communication in favor of&#xA;fighting) is causally correlated to aggression in children, though a&#xA;similar link between war play and aggression has never been&#xA;conclusively established.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Early childhood practitioners are finding the zero tolerance approach&#xA;unhelpful. Kids create guns out of building toys, and when confronted&#xA;will lie that it is a “hairdryer.”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Zero tolerance inhibits adults from supporting the development of&#xA;other imaginative and negotiating skills which could reduce&#xA;actual aggression. Teachers and parents should “separate the toy from&#xA;the behavior.” Early childhood centers in this study allowed&#xA;constructed toy guns but not manufactured ones (construction toys are&#xA;multi-purpose where toy guns have only a single use). Constructing&#xA;weapons gives children greater control of their war play.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The study also compares the effects of constantly saying no to boys –&#xA;a rejection of their interests and their gender. This negative&#xA;attention extends to  physically active play that is also sometimes&#xA;viewed as aggression.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This article (with fully cited research) was followed up with a book in 2003, called &lt;em&gt;We Don’t Play with Guns Here&lt;/em&gt;. This resulted in the release of a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.londonmet.ac.uk/news/latest-news/should-boys-be-allowed-to-play-with-toy-guns.cfm&quot;&gt;new set of guidelines&lt;/a&gt; for nursery schools by the Department for Children, Schools and Families in the UK in 2008.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Citation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PENNY HOLLAND (2000) &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wwwords.co.uk/pdf/validate.asp?j=csee&amp;amp;vol=4&amp;amp;issue=2&amp;amp;year=2000&amp;amp;article=4_Holland_CSEE_4_2_web&quot;&gt;Take the Toys from the Boys? An Examination of the Genesis of Policy and the Appropriateness of Adult Perspectives in the Area of War, Weapon and Superhero Play&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Citizenship, Social and Economics Education&lt;/em&gt;, 4(2), 92-108. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-04-07T14:57:40.643" LastActivityDate="2013-04-07T14:57:40.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7765" CreationDate="2013-04-07T06:30:20.513" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might want to hang on to personalized gifts for a while, in case the gift-giver should notice the item is not around. If it really is unusable by anyone else, a quiet disposal may be the only way to let it go, since you would not want to risk the item ever crossing paths with the gift-giver. If there is a possibility someone could use it, you might give it to a charity in another city you pass through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One time my father put gift dishes he didn't like inside of a wall he was building. I wonder if that house has ever been remodeled?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-07T06:30:20.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7760" CreationDate="2013-04-07T06:47:08.543" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I doubt there is any definitive literature out there on this, so answers will be somewhat subjective. I think the maturity of the child is the primary factor in this kind of decision. Barring laws against it and extreme weather of any kind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Within reach (as in, you prop open the door and sit within a few feet while they finish a nap or pretend to drive the car) - any age&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Within sight (as in, you are in the house but can see them through the window, the car windows are down and the car is inaccessible to strangers) - age 7 or 8. This is the age we allow children to be in the library where I work without having their parents in the same area. It is an age at which children can call out for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Out of sight but reachable by cell phone - 12 to 14, which is the age at which you might leave them alone at home. 12 to 14 year-olds are capable of using the cell phone and of locking the door to safeguard themselves. Duration depends on maturity and the location of the car. Some children would be okay left in pairs though not alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all cases, the keys are not in the car with the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-07T06:47:08.543" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7610" CreationDate="2013-04-07T14:04:29.713" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You probably might want to check if he listens to one person at home. Probably you have many people at home and he might as well be pampered. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually the father does the disciplining process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a similar experience with my kid and was prescribed Focalin 10mg by the doctor as what StyxRiver also mentioned. It worked. Although you might want to consult your doctor before you take any medication. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4167" LastEditorUserId="4167" LastEditDate="2013-04-09T06:35:51.077" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T06:35:51.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7753" CreationDate="2013-04-07T16:21:31.077" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my favorite parenting authors, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rontaffel.com/&quot;&gt;Ron Taffel&lt;/a&gt;, writes about the &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2202&amp;amp;dat=19960511&amp;amp;id=lRUmAAAAIBAJ&amp;amp;sjid=3_0FAAAAIBAJ&amp;amp;pg=6578,1157626&quot;&gt;family envelope&lt;/a&gt;.&quot; We, as parents, create an envelope for the child, large enough to move and grow, but small enough to be safe. Children learn where boundaries are by pushing against the envelope, and when they hit that edge and realize they can go no further, it makes them feel safe. As they age, we increase the size of the envelope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughters are pushing the edge of the envelope, and the behavior you describe is an age-appropriate attempt at doing so. That you have tried multiple methods for stopping the behavior suggests a need for consistency in your approach. Remember that most envelope-pushing behaviors are attempts to get attention, so your multiple attempts to explain to them why the behavior is wrong are actually rewarding their bad behavior. They KNOW it's wrong, they are just pushing your buttons. Timeouts (which rob the child of any attention) should be the most effective way to deal with the problem if used with consistency. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally learned to use timeouts the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.123magic.com/&quot;&gt;1-2-3 Magic&lt;/a&gt; way, which suggests that when a child exhibits an inappropriate behavior, you calmly name the behavior and say &quot;That's one&quot; (&quot;We don't use that gesture in this family. That's one.&quot; Try it with no eye contact.) If the behavior or another attention-getting behavior follows, you just say, &quot;That's two.&quot; Third offense, &quot;That's three. Timeout.&quot; The child must go to her room for X minutes (X being her approximate age). The trick is to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; spend time explaining the behavior or to give the behavior any attention. You don't even explain to her that this 1-2-3 thing is something new we are doing - just do it, she will figure it out. After a very short time using this method, you will find most behaviors stop with &quot;That's one.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ron Taffel has recently written &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rontaffel.com/books/the-second-family/&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Second Family&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, which explains how your children's peers groups create a second envelope when they become teenagers, which makes parenting even trickier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-07T16:21:31.077" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7813" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7814" CreationDate="2013-04-07T17:53:01.767" Score="15" ViewCount="46679" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is nine, and over the last few months has been frequently stealing sweets from the kitchen (fridge, pantry, or deep freezer) to eat them in her room at night. There are a variety of reasons this is problematic, not least of which is that she has a milk allergy: she tends to be very attentive to what she should or shouldn't eat, but if junk food is available, she's much less sensible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have so far tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;asking, ordering, yelling, etc. at her to stop (no obvious effect)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pointing out that these are terrible food choices (for example, &quot;the reason you have a stomachache is because you can't digest lactose well, and those cookies had milk in them,&quot; or &quot;you're in a really bad mood and it's probably because all that sugar is wearing off&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making her pay her brother for what she stole (she ate all of the candy he brought home from a Valentine's party at school)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;increasing her protein and other-healthy-food intake so she feels more full (this hasn't made a noticeable difference, so I suspect the motivation is more emotional or mental than simply physical hunger)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/255/how-do-you-control-the-quantity-of-sweets-and-junk-food-a-pre-teen-eats&quot;&gt;A similar question about controlling junk food intake&lt;/a&gt; suggests eliminating opportunity and simply not having it in the house. We've rapidly reached that point as she ate her way through the kitchen, and our foods tend to be on the healthy side anyway. But...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to come up with a solution that involves helping her self-control, because I still want to be able to have treats (a box of cookies, or a bag of chocolate chips to bake cookies from scratch, or candied fruit for a fruitcake) that everybody can enjoy occasionally -- instead, it ends up vanishing from the pantry and we find the empty container later when cleaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2019-03-11T17:35:44.863" Title="Pre-teen always sneaking junk food" Tags="|eating|junkfood|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7813" CreationDate="2013-04-07T22:13:26.247" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a study for the Journal of the American Dietetic Association (Story, et al), researchers looked at the causes of unhealthy adolescent eating behaviors, and they are many! This is some of what you are up against:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;rapid growth means high caloric and nutritional needs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;skipping breakfast becomes a common practice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;many adolescents become less physically active&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;kids eat away from home more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;there's a need for peer acceptance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the family has busy schedules&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;junk food is convenient&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;junk food tastes good&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;junk food is heavily advertised to adolescents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;adolescents associate junk food with pleasure, being with friends, weight gain, independence, guilt, affordability and convenience - it is seen as normal&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;adolescents associate healthful eating with family meals and eating at home, and liking healthy food is seen as an oddity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;family dinners decrease in many families to only a few times a week&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your attempts to address the behavior mirror the results of other studies (Scaglioni, et al). Researchers found that restricting what children can eat works in the short term, but in the long term it increases the intake of food, increases eating in the absence of hunger, hampers the ability to self-regulate, causes negative self-evaluation, and contributes to weight gain in 5 to 11-year-olds. Pressuring children to eat was likewise unproductive. Studies where children were rewarded with positive attention for eating healthy foods also resulted in long-term negative effects on the quality of the children's diets and their preference for those foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions that came out of the studies are as you would expect:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;role model healthy eating&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eat together&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't make kids finish a meal when they say they are full&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;choose food well for the family and make rules about where foods can be eaten - make them rules for the house not rules for the child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;choose a wide variety of nutrient-dense foods - choice is important - it gives the child control&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;limit TV/ video game time to 2 hours/day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make healthy foods convenient - carrot sticks instead of whole carrots, bowl of chopped fruits instead of whole fruits - and let them eat as much as they like&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;remember that they do need to eat a lot, and that will mean a balance of fats, carbs and protein, not just carrot sticks. As you noted, she needs to feel full. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are other studies that look at the emotional causes of poor eating amongst adolescents. In one study (Snoek, et al), researchers found that &quot;higher levels of emotional eating by parents were related to higher levels of adolescents' emotional eating.&quot; High levels of psychological and behavioral control over adolescents were also associated with higher levels of emotional eating. This suggests that it may not be about the food at all, but about the stress the child perceives and possibly about the way stress-handling is modeled in the family. A follow-up to this study (van Strien, et al) looked at emotional eating and depression in adolescents that might be genetic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if a smorgasboard of healthy, convenient, unrestricted foods doesn't help, you might want to look at addressing or alleviating the other stresses in your child's life that might be contributing to emotional eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each of these cited studies is set in the context of many other similar studies which are internally cited. They may be available through your local library or through interlibrary loan from a nearby university library.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Citations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Story, M., Neumark-Sztainer, D., &amp;amp; French, S. (2002). Individual and environmental influences on adolescent eating behaviors. American Dietetic Association.Journal of the American Dietetic Association, S40-51.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Silvia Scaglioni, Michela Salvioni and Cinzia Galimberti (2008). &lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.cambridge.org/download.php?file=/BJN/BJN99_S1/S0007114508892471a.pdf&amp;amp;code=241b97fa0131f7d95e74d9e8bd98cb77&quot;&gt;Influence of parental attitudes in the development of children eating behaviour&lt;/a&gt;. British Journal of Nutrition, 99, pp S22-S25.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Harriëtte M. Snoek, Rutger C.M.E. Engels, Jan M.A.M. Janssens, Tatjana van Strien, Parental behaviour and adolescents’ emotional eating, Appetite, Volume 49, Issue 1, July 2007, Pages 223-230, ISSN 0195-6663, 10.1016/j.appet.2007.02.004.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tatjana van Strien, Carmen S. van der Zwaluw, Rutger C.M.E. Engels, Emotional eating in adolescents: A gene (SLC6A4/5-HTT) – Depressive feelings interaction analysis, Journal of Psychiatric Research, Volume 44, Issue 15, November 2010, Pages 1035-1042, ISSN 0022-3956, 10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.03.012.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-07T22:13:26.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7815" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-08T04:32:56.393" Score="1" ViewCount="43868" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the natural ways to increase the blood, and the amniotic acids flow to the uterus during pregnancy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should be the duration and intensity of the exercises (if any)? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-29T06:48:05.527" LastActivityDate="2018-02-22T02:49:32.140" Title="What are the natural ways to increase the blood, and the amniotic acids flow to the uterus during pregnancy?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2018-02-22T16:36:51.980" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7816" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7818" CreationDate="2013-04-08T04:57:21.360" Score="6" ViewCount="2294" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4336/are-prenatal-classes-worth-it#comment6564_4342&quot;&gt;Are prenatal classes worth it?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;+1 for mentioning the unexpected information about the c-section. No one wants to have a c-section with their first baby, but I know so many women who wound up having to have one and were so emotionally traumatized by the experience because they failed to consider the possibility beforehand. My best friend had some serious post-partum depression because of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This comment has received 3 upvotes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I have myself chosen the C section type of delivery for my baby, I am curious to know why would this be termed &quot;traumatic&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this is a major surgery, but still it isn't the 1530 era where every person having a C section was bound to die.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My doctor has just told me that you'll be having a difficulty in doing heavy duty jobs for sometime but after that it'll be all fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can be the reasons to be traumatized by a C section? Do I need to be wary to some side effects of any kind?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-07-27T04:07:20.487" Title="Pros and cons of C section (Cesarean) delivery?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|c-section|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2013-04-08T06:54:44.103" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you say,  a C section is major abdominal surgery, with all the risks that entails. I don't want to worry you, as it is a  common procedure, but recovery is typically a lot harder than a traditional delivery. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forget about hard work, you may not even be able to lift your baby, or drive, or carry shopping bags etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So be aware that these things could happen, but hope that they don't. I hope all goes well for you, but at least you can prepare for all  eventualities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-04-08T06:54:44.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2013-04-08T07:55:36.080" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe it's correct to say &lt;em&gt;no one wants a c-section&lt;/em&gt; but it's true that &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; women that prefer a natural birth are not prepared for that possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a health &amp;amp; safety point of view, a c-section is not &quot;bad&quot; or &quot;dangerous&quot;. It's a very routine operation, but just as with natural births the psychological results vary a lot. See also Rory's answer about the weakened body and lack of muscular strength - this should not be underestimated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What can be the reasons to be traumatized by a C section? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some women have a more or less &quot;idealized&quot; perception of what they want their birth to be like, and if they're not mentally prepared for it when &lt;strong&gt;things go different than planned,&lt;/strong&gt; trauma can occur. &quot;Things going different than planned&quot; could be events &lt;strong&gt;during the birth:&lt;/strong&gt; it's messy and can be very gory but I'll spare you the details. It could also be &lt;strong&gt;after the birth,&lt;/strong&gt; when the baby won't feed, doesn't weigh enough or gain enough weight, won't sleep, cries a lot, has a birth defect, and so on. it could also be &lt;strong&gt;unrelated to the baby,&lt;/strong&gt; when the postpartum soreness doesn't wear off fast enough, or a c-section takes long to heal (regardless whether planned or not), or infections. It could also be purely &lt;strong&gt;psychological reasons,&lt;/strong&gt; cases where &quot;bystanders&quot; only see everything going perfectly and &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; the mother is deeply unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do I need to be wary to some side effects of any kind?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, I would say the best advice is to &lt;strong&gt;realize things don't always go as planned.&lt;/strong&gt; Plans are good but it's important to know about &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; that plan can derail, and what getting derailed means to you. Talk to the professionals: the midwives. They've seen it all and can give you good recommendations in advance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you should also realize that even when you think you're well prepared to deal with any kind of unplanned event, it's still tough when that plan collapses. Despite being prepared (or perhaps even more because of it),  a depression can still happen, and happens often enough.&lt;sup&gt;&lt;em&gt;[citation needed]&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you don't need to be &lt;strong&gt;&quot;wary&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; per se. &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Que_Sera,_Sera_%28Whatever_Will_Be,_Will_Be%29&quot;&gt;Que será, será.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-04-08T07:55:36.080" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2013-04-08T07:55:36.080" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7813" CreationDate="2013-04-08T14:10:07.670" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than not making sweets available and offering only healthful foods instead, my gut instinct tells me that it would make more sense to create some structure in sweets consumption. Your daughter is big enough that she will soon be able to buy junk food on her own, and presumably she can already binge eat at a friend's place if the opportunity comes along. Sugar is not unhealthy in itself, especially in children who burn off a lot of energy, but it can be consumed in unhealthy amounts, so it's the amount you need to control. I would actually introduce a sweet snack during the day, such as a couple of cookies with milk. Always have a given small amount of sweets (and if you make them yourself, they can be more healthful), always have it at the same time of day, and make no exceptions. That way, she knows that she will get the sweets that she craves, while it will not be in amounts that are unreasonable. And I would keep the cabinet with sweets locked until she gets into this rhythm. If it works. Maybe I'm completely wrong, it's really a gut level response and I don't know your daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-04-08T14:10:07.670" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7813" CreationDate="2013-04-08T15:38:34.357" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's old enough that she may begin to understand the health implications of &lt;em&gt;sugary food&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While great as a treat, when eating too much of it can cause&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;weight gain&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diabetes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;poor nutrition (because sugar is eaten instead of foods with vitamins and minerals)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1400033462&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;educate yourself first&lt;/a&gt; on &lt;em&gt;why specifically&lt;/em&gt; junk food needs to be limited. Then start preaching, honey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;In case she is overweight:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be careful of the weight issue&lt;/strong&gt;.  If she already is a little bit overweight, &lt;strong&gt;she is likely already sensitive to the problem&lt;/strong&gt;.  The other kids may have already made fun of her.  If she is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; aware that she is overweight, &lt;strong&gt;be very careful with this&lt;/strong&gt;.  What I'm saying is &lt;strong&gt;don't call her fat&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2013-04-08T15:38:34.357" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2013-04-08T16:01:40.093" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the kind of question I wish we had more women on the site to answer.  The comment you quoted is in response to my wife's reaction.  I will convey her experience as accurately as I can.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The actual procedure was not traumatic &lt;em&gt;at all&lt;/em&gt; for her.  She was smiling throughout.  I kept asking if she was okay, and she would respond that it wasn't her favorite thing ever, but it was much more pleasant than she anticipated.  Apparently, the anesthetic is &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The recovery was worse than her previous vaginal birth, but not overwhelmingly worse.  She had pain for two or three additional weeks.  She was still allowed to hold the baby, but was cautioned not to lift anything heavier.  However, my wife expected this part and dealt with it.  It was painful, but not traumatic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The emotional trauma came when she first considered the possibility she might need a C-section during our class, and then again about a month before the birth when she found out it was a certainty.  The biggest component of the emotional trauma was mourning the loss of a &quot;normal&quot; birth.  Our first daughter was born three months premature due to an unpreventable and rare infection, but my wife still blamed herself.  She saw the second pregnancy as a chance to redeem herself.  To not be able to accomplish a natural, full-term birth made her feel like a failure as a mother.  That's not true, of course, and she came to terms with it later, but that's how she felt at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other big component of the emotional trauma was that a C-section removes options down the road.  It wasn't just about this one birth, it was about not being able to ever have a vaginal birth again, and being limited in the number of safe C-sections.  Yes, many women in good shape and overall health overcome those limitations, but my wife's individual case made it highly unlikely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case, we had a significant amount of time to prepare.  I imagine an emergency C-section is significantly more traumatic, especially after a trial of labor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-08T16:01:40.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7813" CreationDate="2013-04-08T16:47:21.720" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have some pretty good answers already, but as someone who struggles with similar cravings, I wanted to answer from the perspective that it might not be strictly a matter of self-control and discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several other cravings bodies have that can be mistaken for food cravings.  Having low energy can cause a craving for energy-dense foods.  You can get low energy from thyroid conditions, clinical depression, asthma, not eating &lt;em&gt;enough&lt;/em&gt; calories during the day, sleeping disorders, and a ton of other medical conditions.  It happening mostly at night is what made me think about sleeping disorders.  If she is craving sleep and not able to get it, that can feel a lot like a sugar craving.  It would be worthwhile to discuss your concerns with her pediatrician.  A doctor might ask you about other symptoms you haven't even realized are a concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could also be emotional eating.  Adults seek comfort food and children do too.  It helps you feel better.  You might think about emotions she's dealing with and try to address those, especially if she had a large change in her life a few months ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, it could just be a kid behaving badly.  I just didn't want you to neglect possible deeper concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-08T16:47:21.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2013-04-08T16:48:57.223" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;C-Section surgeries have a purpose. They're designed to save babies in distress. As I'm sure you'll agree, babies are not aliens from Ridley Scott's movie. Nature did not design them to jump out of your belly. C-Sections were developed by medical science (as early 2500 years ago) as an emergency procedure where vaginal birth is not progressing well, or encounters problems which risk the health of the baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife delivered our two children vaginally and our third in an emergency C-section. It took my wife a year+ to return to normal function after that surgery vs a few weeks after normal birth. Loss of feeling parts of her stomach, non responsive muscle tissue, pain that put her on narcotic painkillers for months and other ill effects. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After what my wife endured, both me and her are baffled at those who would choose to go for C-Section in advanced without an emergency. Maybe we just had bad luck, but we did our C-section at a top NJ hospital (Valley) with superb surgeons. We were planning a 4th child, but are now re-thinking -- to put it accurately, my wife prefers to die rather than having another C-section. It was &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; bad for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="601" LastEditorUserId="601" LastEditDate="2013-04-08T16:54:33.703" LastActivityDate="2013-04-08T16:54:33.703" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2013-04-08T17:32:32.327" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the husband of a woman who went in expecting to give birth naturally but ended up having a C-section, I think I can answer this. The mentality, some internally-driven, some external, is that a vaginal birth is the &quot;right&quot; way to give birth; women have given birth this way throughout the 50,000-odd years of recorded history and for hundreds of thousands of years before that. Women want to give birth the way their mothers gave birth to them and their grandmothers gave birth to their mothers. A C-section, especially an elective one, is considered &quot;cheating&quot;. &quot;At least &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; to do it the &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt; way&quot; is the pervasive mentality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife had a birth plan, several pages long, detailing how she wanted the process to happen for our first child. She had also spent weeks watching the various reality/documentary shows on giving birth (which of course get to cherry-pick the stories that make for good TV). The biggest point was that she wanted to deliver normally. She was on the fence about an epidural, having her water broken artificially etc, but was sure that she wanted the baby coming out of the birth canal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The moment she was diagnosed pre-eclamptic, that detailed birth plan went out the window. The delivery date was scheduled for the day the baby hit full term (at 37 weeks), and because the baby didn't get the memo, they induced with pitocin (which immediately produced massive contractions that resulted in my wife begging for an epidural), broke her water artificially, let her &quot;try&quot; for 18 hours of unproductive forced labor, and when an ultrasound revealed the baby was trying to come out nose-up against the pubic bone (an orientation that has only a 10% success rate), her OB said enough's enough and wheeled her into the OR. I came in only after she'd been draped and opened, and sat by her head the entire time. I felt like I'd been thrown backward in time to the era in which I was born, where my mom's &quot;old-school&quot; OB had directed my dad to a chair in the corner, and if he moved he was banished to the waiting room, &quot;where he probably should be anyway&quot;. I didn't even get to cut the cord. We were both a little disappointed, her more than me (tempered by the perfect little girl we came home with), and now that she's pregnant with our second, she's that much more determined to have a VBAC.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more extreme of the natural-birth advocates say the rise in C-sections &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;is a conspiracy&lt;/a&gt;; the dramatic increase in percentage of babies born by C-section in the US (and indeed the entire idea of giving birth in a hospital in the first place) has not been mirrored in other industrialized nations, and yet the U.S. has higher maternal mortality rates than most of these countries. Therefore, C-sections (and hospital births) can't possibly be seen as &quot;safer&quot;, and so there must be another reason (the linked documentary poses many possibilities, from C-sections being billable to insurers at higher rates, to doctors wanting to end their on-call shifts on time). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a little &quot;correlation implies causation&quot; in those arguments; there are other factors that can be causative. Increasing maternal obesity during this same time, which in turn aggravates conditions like maternal hypertension and pre-eclampsia that make OBs want to deliver early (meaning induction), is one of them. Increased maternal age in the U.S. also contributes to &quot;high-risk&quot; pregnancy status that has higher C-section rates. Patience is another factor; I dunno about other mothers, but when my wife hit 9 months she was very much &quot;over&quot; being pregnant. This can influence decisions regarding induction and elective C-section; when the doctor suggests it for medical reasons, it seems more palatable than waiting around on bed rest. Induction itself is also targeted; forcing a mother's body to try to give birth before it's ready requires intervention after intervention, some of them (like pitocin vs epidural drugs) contradicting each other in a downward spiral leading to C-section.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2013-04-09T15:04:01.300" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T15:04:01.300" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7825" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7843" CreationDate="2013-04-09T02:17:41.950" Score="5" ViewCount="16897" Body="&lt;p&gt;My newborn girl has a funny smell in the top of her head: it's like milk or strawberry yogurt. Very soft, very light, I have to come really close to feel it. But it's something I notice...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She takes a bath everyday (we live in Brazil, and here it's considered ok, I know that in some countries people/child don't do that - &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1812/how-often-should-i-bathe-my-newborn&quot;&gt;example&lt;/a&gt; - and that's ok too). We wash her head using some baby shampoo like Johnson&amp;amp;Johnson, and just few minutes after breastfeeding, the smell appears again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The smell doesn't come from the ears / neck / etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I never paid attention to any other newborn smell, so I don't know if that is common... so, my question: is it normal that a newborn have this kind of smell ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update:&lt;/em&gt; now she is 2mo, and that funny smell is almost gone. It resambles my wife's smell. &lt;em&gt;And I miss it... :(&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-05-03T19:08:43.310" Title="newborn / 1mo : funny milk smell in the head?" Tags="|newborn|hygiene|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7825" CreationDate="2013-04-09T04:31:34.843" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your baby may have cradle cap, which is a very common skin condition in infants. It's official name is seborrheic dermatitis. According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000963.htm&quot;&gt;MedlinePlus&lt;/a&gt; (National Institute of Health):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It appears as thick, crusty, yellow or brown scales over the child's&#xA;  scalp. Similar scales may also be found on the eyelids, ear, around&#xA;  the nose, and in the groin. Cradle cap may be seen in newborns and&#xA;  small children up to age 3... Cradle cap is not contagious, nor is it caused by poor hygiene. It is&#xA;  not an allergy, and it is not dangerous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have also seen cradle cap that is more white. To treat cradle cap:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Massage your baby's scalp gently with your fingers or a soft brush to loosen the scales and improve scalp circulation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give your child daily, gentle shampoos with a mild soap while scales are present. After scales have disappeared, you may reduce&#xA;  shampoos to twice weekly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be sure to rinse off all soap.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Brush your child's hair with a clean, soft brush after each shampoo and several times during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If scales do not easily loosen and wash off, apply some mineral oil to the baby's scalp and wrap warm, wet cloths around his head for&#xA;  up to an hour before shampooing. Then, shampoo as directed above.&#xA;  Remember that your baby loses a lot of heat through his scalp. If you&#xA;  use warm, wet cloths with the mineral oil, check frequently to be sure&#xA;  that the cloths have not become cold. Cold, wet cloths could&#xA;  drastically reduce your baby's temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the scales continue to be a problem or concern, or if you child seems uncomfortable or scratches his scalp, contact your physician. He&#xA;  may prescribe a cream or lotion to apply to your baby's scalp several&#xA;  times a day.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T04:31:34.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7825" CreationDate="2013-04-09T07:28:32.943" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mary Jo mentions a common skin condition. That's probably a good guess and you can easily see the scales on the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are no scales, then perhaps &lt;strong&gt;it's just that famous baby smell.&lt;/strong&gt; I never knew what &quot;baby smell&quot; smelled like before I had a child, but now I know it. It's a very nice smell. Savor it; it will be gone soon. If it's baby smell, then don't worry; it's harmless and you don't need to wash or clean it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T07:28:32.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7828" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7833" CreationDate="2013-04-09T08:03:27.647" Score="16" ViewCount="9499" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a parent may be feeling sad (for whatever reason) and needs to cry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it harmful, or could it even be good, to cry sometimes in front of your children? What does research say?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4172" LastEditorDisplayName="user106" LastEditDate="2013-11-11T00:14:05.700" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T17:53:00.257" Title="Is it appropriate for parents to cry in front of their children?" Tags="|teaching|parents|crying|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7782" CreationDate="2013-04-09T14:08:20.057" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is Asian and we live in her home country. Our daughter is four and she just starting to use chopsticks about a year ago. It takes time to develop the fine-motorskills and she sees everyone around the table using chopsticks three meals per day. That said, I also teach her to use a fork and spoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think four is a good age to start to learn but I also let her play with them. With time, she just figured it out. By now, she can eat with chopsticks. Not perfectly but well enough that she won't go hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is to start now by having 'asian' night once or twice per week and let her start to get comfortable. Young kids can sort out problems much more quickly that we adults can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T14:08:20.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2013-04-09T14:48:34.117" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having actually experienced an emergency c-section and it's recovery myself, I cannot imagine anyone choosing a c-section when they have another option.  That said I am so grateful for the existence of the modern c-section, because when a child goes into fetal distress, a mother needs to deliver immediately due to pre-eclampsia, etc. then a c-section is life-saving and I am so glad it exists.  I have a happy child today due to a c-section.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is why I would never elect to have a c-section apart from medical necessity:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For the several days after a c-section it is difficult to sit up from a lying down position or lie down from a sitting position.  It usually requires the use of a pillow or some similar object for counter-pressure.  This means it is nearly impossible to sit up, pick up your baby from his or her bassinette, lie down, feed your child, then replace your child in the bassinnette.  Forget doing diaper changes yourself.  A nurse or family member will be doing them.  In the hospital where I stayed bedsharing with my infant was forbidden, so I had to put her back in the bassinette to sleep even if I had wanted to keep her in bed with me.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Even once you can sit up, pick up your child, and then attain a feeding position (bottle or breast) successfully you will still be in lots of abdominal pain for a while.  Your doctors will place several restrictions on you to ensure that you are active enough to encourage a recovery without being overactive.  You cannot lift anything heavier than your baby, you cannot go up and down stairs more than once a day, and you cannot drive for 2 weeks, for example.  Life stops when you have a newborn, but it &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; stops when you had a c-section.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;While I myself had about an easy a recovery as one can have after a c-section, I have heard some horror stories.  There are cases where the incision is not properly repaired and it can cause concerns.  So you really want to trust your surgeon, which is what your OB/GYN is in the case of a c-section.  There are also plenty of possible horror stories with a vaginal birth, but I find that there are more with a c-section.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This one is highly woman-dependent, but since c-sections do have a stigma it can be hard mentally and emotionally telling other women about your own c-section.  You may find yourself looked down on, or even find that throw-away comments about high c-section rates are hurtful.  That said if you don't care what other's think, you won't have a problem with this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The risk of uterine rupture with subsequent deliveries is higher.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There are known negatives for a baby that correlate with a c-section.  The rate of asthmaand other breathing problems as well as allergies is higher with c-section babies.  The rate of diabetes is also higher.  There is also a possibility that some beneficial bacteria are not passed to the baby via c-section as they are via vaginal birth.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T14:48:34.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7828" CreationDate="2013-04-09T15:23:27.507" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a child I always found it reassuring to know my parents were mortal and capable of sadness like me.  I think something that contributed to my development was when mom and dad would explain what they were crying about when they saw my concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also helps children recognize for themselves when something is making them sad, and that is why they are crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/pages/PDF/Emotions_ANGmcP.pdf&quot;&gt;http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/pages/PDF/Emotions_ANGmcP.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2963" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T15:23:27.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7828" CreationDate="2013-04-09T19:22:54.673" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a lot of research about fighting in front of your children, but I couldn't find anything particular to crying.  I think in general expressing emotions is a good thing.  I've even found it useful at times to &lt;em&gt;exaggerate&lt;/em&gt; my emotion to kids too young to pick up on subtle facial cues.  It helps teach them to act with empathy.  For example, a two year-old is less likely to hit you when he clearly sees it makes you sad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are situations where it's inadvisable, such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child lacks the experience to understand the implications.  If you're upset because of an argument with your spouse, he won't understand what that means for his own situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You are &quot;unloading&quot; on your child to help yourself feel better.  They lack the emotional capacity to help you bear your burdens.  That role should be reserved for your spouse, or if you are single, another adult.  &quot;I had a bad day at work, can you leave me alone for a while?&quot; is okay.  An hour-long outburst about your boss isn't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You are unable or unwilling to provide an adequate explanation.  Without an explanation, kids naturally assume it is their fault, even if you explicitly say otherwise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T19:22:54.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7828" CreationDate="2013-04-09T19:43:30.380" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have not found any research on this. However, Mary Beth Sammons has published &lt;a href=&quot;http://moms.popsugar.com/When-Okay-Cry-Front-Your-Kids-27331246&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;guidelines&lt;/a&gt; for this, a boiled down version of a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.circleofmoms.com/question/should-moms-let-children-see-them-cry-1700699&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Circle of Moms online discussion&lt;/a&gt;. I don't think it is conclusive or scientific enough, but it's the best I could find.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is argued that crying could be good; if kids never see you cry they may grow up thinking their own need to cry is unacceptable. However, it is noted that it should be explained to the child that it isn't his/her fault, and meltdowns should always be avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4172" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T19:43:30.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7835" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7943" CreationDate="2013-04-09T21:21:14.393" Score="10" ViewCount="2241" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is eight years old, but due to her cerebral palsy, she has the approximate mentality of a three year-old.  She also has an extreme need for routine.  Most of the time that isn't an issue at all, as our family has a routine anyway.  Other times, it's a minor issue, such as one parent doing a certain part of the routine that the other parent usually does.  That happens often enough that she complains a little, but deals with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes she gets fixated on something we can't or shouldn't provide, and no amount of distracting her with other favorite activities will change her mind.  Does anyone have ideas for putting a one track mind on a different track?  I imagine parents of autistic children have had similar challenges, but even successful tactics from parents of neurotypical but stubborn children would be useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T01:24:49.843" Title="How to change a one track mind?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7828" CreationDate="2013-04-09T21:38:40.187" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents crying in front of children can serve useful purposes and can encourage teaching moments.  If a loved one has passed on, or perhaps something tragic has occurred - or even just a struggle from a hard day, crying not only allows the parent the opportunity to let out some difficult emotions that they may be struggling with - but also allows the child to understand and see that Mom and/or Dad have bad days too - and have to cope with emotions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An important part of the process is ensuring to explain why you are crying.  For example, the child may not understand that crying because you dropped a hammer on your foot is different than crying because of a touching moment in a movie.  Allowing them to both see and hear what is happening will help them to relate to others as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only time this could be a more sensitive situation is if the parents are fighting, shouting - or if abuse is happening (verbal, emotional or physical).  Crying can lead them to be afraid in this case. Nonetheless, if it occurs, it is even more important to talk to the children and help them understand (in their terms) what it happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I do not have any academic evidence to backup my answer, I am a parent of 4 children and I have been able see my own results.  My children are naturally curious as to why I am crying - but they understand once I take a moment to explain.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4176" LastActivityDate="2013-04-09T21:38:40.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2013-04-10T02:38:16.520" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think I might actually be the one who left the comment you referred to in your post, so I'll explain a little bit what I meant:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it's easy to romanticize labor and delivery--especially if you've never experienced it.  I don't know how it is in your country, but here in the US this idea of &quot;birth plans&quot; has gotten perhaps a little out of control--where woman plan out every moment of their labor and delivery sometimes down to the music they have playing, the candles they have lit, etc.  This is all well and good, but sometimes women become too attached to the &lt;em&gt;idea&lt;/em&gt; of the birth plan and feel like the whole birthing experience is ruined if things don't go according to their birth plan.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But even women whose birth plans are less scripted can have a very difficult time &lt;em&gt;emotionally&lt;/em&gt; if they don't accept and deal with the fact that not every birth ends up with a baby who is born vaginally, or a baby who is completely healthy, or a baby who latches perfectly.  For my best friend, she had never allowed herself to consider the possibility of anything other than a vaginal delivery.  During labor, though, they discovered that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her daughter's neck multiple times and that she would probably not be able to descend through the birth canal as the cord was tethering her too far up in the canal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For weeks after her daughter was born, my friend was very upset that she was not able to deliver her daughter &quot;naturally&quot;.  Combine this with the fact that she was having a lot of difficulty breastfeeding and she pretty much felt like a terrible mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be that as it may, there is &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; in every woman's birthing experience that is less than ideal.  It may be having to have an emergency C-section rather than a vaginal birth.  It may be that your child is rushed off to the NICU shortly after birth because of breathing issues or an infection.  Or your child has difficulty latching and feeding.  Or your child has a bowel movement in utero.  Or your child has a genetic disorder.  Or it may be that you discover something as simple as contractions hurt and you want that epidural after all even though you hadn't originally planned on it.  I have yet to meet someone who can say that every aspect of their birth experience was exactly as they imagined it would be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T02:38:16.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7788" CreationDate="2013-04-10T03:53:14.057" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;DHA and EPA are long-chain omega-3 fatty acids which cannot be synthesized by the human body and thus must be &lt;em&gt;ingested&lt;/em&gt; either through capsules (which is usually fish oil) or through the foods that we eat.  They typically are found together and work both in conjunction with each other and independently of each other to support proper neurological, immunological, and cardiovascular development.  Since neither DHA or EPA can be created by our bodies on their own, it is VERY easy to become deficient in these omega-3s if you are not consuming it on a regular basis.  The most prolific source of DHA/EPA is in fish oil or algae, so unless you are eating either of these two things on a regular basis, you could all ready be deficient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A woman's stores of DHA/EPA become depleted as the developing fetus begins to use the mother's stored DHA/EPA during its neurological development.  Brain development really kicks into high gear in the &lt;a href=&quot;http://americanpregnancy.org/firstyearoflife/PEOmega3supplements.html&quot;&gt;3rd trimester&lt;/a&gt; (beginning at 28 weeks), so more and more DHA/EPA will be transferred from mother to baby to support brain, eye, immune, and nervous system development.  &lt;strong&gt;HOWEVER&lt;/strong&gt; depending on one's diet, it is very easy to be deficient in this nutrient before one even gets pregnant.  Like folic acid, it is usually best to begin supplementing before pregnancy so that you can all ready have plenty of stored DHA/EPA/folic acid in place before you actually conceive.  Furthermore, breastfeeding will further deplete any stored DHA/EPA you may have as both are known components of human breastmilk so continuing supplementation after birth is important as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of cognitive development, the jury's still out as to the effect on the fetus with omega-3 supplementation.  By that I mean to say that there is no evidence to suggest that a child's cognitive development is significantly changed by taking a DHA supplement during pregnancy (though it stands to reason that a fetus who was significantly deprived of DHA/EPA during its growth would show delayed cognitive development).  And your ob/gyn is correct, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/elena/titles/fish_oil_pregnancy/en/index.html&quot;&gt;WHO&lt;/a&gt; does not currently give a recommendation for marine oil supplementation during pregnancy, but there is &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; evidence to suggest that DHA can help prolong a pregnancy thus increasing gestational age in the baby.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Americanpregnancy.org recommends that a high-quality DHA/EPA supplement be taken before, throughout, and after pregnancy.  Fish oil is the ideal source of this, though algae is also acceptable.  So...if you follow those recommendations you should probably start as soon as possible.  According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/elena/titles/commentary/fish_oil_pregnancy/en/index.html&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; commentary from the WHO, &quot;Overall, the three meta-analyses show that supplementation with marine oil or n-3 LCPUFA is safe in pregnancy and generally well-tolerated&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T03:53:14.057" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7436" CreationDate="2013-04-10T15:43:57.097" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't mention, but I bet when this was happening you were also experiencing some morning sickness.  When your body feels like it's going to vomit, saliva production increases to help protect your upper GI tract from the acid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In late pregnancy when acid reflux can be a problem, you can also get a lot of saliva or mucus as a reaction to the irritation of your mouth and sinuses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2662" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T15:43:57.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6109" CreationDate="2013-04-10T16:24:18.763" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As well as the other good suggestions already made, I would like to add one: don't have too many different toys out at all the same time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a toddler catches sight of something out of the corner of their eye, it will be &quot;ooh, shiny&quot; and they'll be off to that and forget what they were just doing! If you want to persist with the same toy for a bit longer, make sure other things are put away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also forms good habits for &quot;put away the last thing before you get the next thing out&quot; when they are a bit older!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T16:24:18.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7784" CreationDate="2013-04-10T16:29:14.680" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Newborns need to be checked and changed much more frequently than older babies, simply because they poo more often. For the first few weeks, you can expect some poo in almost every nappy / diaper, and should check every half hour or so if they're awake, probably changing once every 2 or 3 hours. If they're asleep I wouldn't bother waking them up to check / change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they get a little bit older a cloth nappy / diaper will be fine for about 4 or 5 hours. If you aren't quick enough to change it then it starts to leak and you get damp patches on the baby's clothes! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NB as a happy cloth nappy user for both my children, I would NOT recommend using cloth nappies from the very start because the newborn poo (&quot;meconium&quot;) is very difficult to clean and can stain the nappies easily. If disposables are an option for you they are vastly preferable for the first couple of weeks until the poo is normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit to answer your additional question about night times: In the night time you can add a booster pad to the nappy which makes it more absorbent (but also more bulky, which is why you don't normally use them during the day as well). Or if you're using prefolds, stick two prefolds in the same outer for the same effect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the very newborn days you'll be up frequently in the night anyway and just give the nappy a quick check then. After that you'll soon learn how long the nappy lasts before leaking and how often your baby poos. Definitely no need to set an alarm and check. There are really only two ways things can &quot;go wrong&quot; (if you haven't checked often enough) - either the nappy leaks, in which case just clean up and check a bit more often next time, or the baby ends up with a sore bottom from being in a dirty (as opposed to just wet) nappy, in which case barrier cream can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One particular recommendation is to make up the bed / cot as follows: mattress, waterproof layer, sheet, waterproof layer, sheet. Then if there is any leakage in the night you can strip off the top sheet and waterproof, leave them to be washed in the morning and go back to sleep on the second layer without having to re-make the bed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two general points: first, trust your instincts - you seem to be very unsure about quite specific aspects of all this and really, I promise, it will all fall into place once the baby is here! And second, you will inevitably get leaks / containment failures / sore bottoms etc at some point - just clean up and move on, the world won't end :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastEditorUserId="1477" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T10:16:45.120" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T10:16:45.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7825" CreationDate="2013-04-10T22:59:58.010" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The smell becomes more noticable as she gets warm from combined body heat when feeding.&#xA;Your baby has the start of Cradle Cap.   Gently rub a light unperfumed oil (almond, or vegetable oil) carefully into her scalp and leave for 30mins.  Brush softly with baby hair brush to remove the sticky skin flakes, shampoo gently and carefully rinse thoroughly with tepid water.  Once daily.   If your baby is getting close to 6 weeks old, it is sometimes caused by hormone imbalance.  When the smell has gone, so has the cradle cap.   It can sometimes affect baby's eyebrows, and baby acne can be seen.    All to do with her hormone imbalance.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4180" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T22:59:58.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7844" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2013-04-10T23:16:26.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can you have an experienced nurse check mother to see if baby is latching properly.  There could be a problem with tongue-tie which can be rectified quickly and baby back feeding within 5mins of a small op.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Check mother is drinking at least 4litres of water per 24hours, and eating lots of protein and vegetables.   4-5 small meals a day and snacking healthily at night for energy.   Mother burns 500 calories per feed, just feeding baby.&#xA;Maybe baby is not getting enough milk.   If there is a gurgling sound from baby, then it could be wind that needs to come up.   Baby should feed on one side until it starts to fuss around. (the breast is then empty or baby has wind)  Change baby's nappy and put baby on the other breast.   Baby should be feeding -from the start of one feed, to the start of the next feed- every 2.5 - 3.00hours.   Active feeding, when you can hear baby swallowing, should be about 15-20mins on one breast and about the same on the other breast.   Mother has to concentrate her listening skills as the sound of swallowing is very quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4180" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T23:16:26.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2013-04-10T23:36:58.787" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is one very important fact not mentioned yet. &#xA;In preparation for delivery, every mother's body is swamped with adrenalin,for energy, and hormones which softens all her joints, to expand and allow baby to come through the canal.  Whether she has a c/section or not.   This is nature at work.&#xA;Once baby is born, she has forgotten the last final part of the delivery - she is overwhelmed with a love she has never ever felt before, for this new life she has just produced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During natural delivery, as baby come down and out of the birth canal, baby's &quot;little switches&quot; get turned on, for feeding, crying as communication, movement and preparation for the outside world.   Baby feeds better, knows where the breast is, and their body language is so plain to see.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are all sorts of reasons for and against natural birth and c/section birth.   Mother to be has to go with what feels natural for her, and be guided by her doctors.   If she is just plain scared, keep this in mind.   If childbirth was so painful and terrible, women world wide would never have more than one baby - ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4181" LastActivityDate="2013-04-10T23:36:58.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7846" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7848" CreationDate="2013-04-11T00:47:13.090" Score="5" ViewCount="8370" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age do children generally learn to propel themselves in a swing? Is this something that they generally figure out on their own, or do parents/older siblings teach the skill? How do you teach it without personally demonstrating? (Swinging makes me dizzy, anymore.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't remember how or when I learned. I do remember that I still much preferred the &quot;baby&quot; swing in preschool, but I don't know if I still needed to be pushed or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(My daughter is nearly 33 months old, and loves to be pushed in the swing. Incessantly. She's physically precocious and fearless, but doesn't generally follow instructions. I keep hoping anyway.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1883" LastActivityDate="2013-04-11T05:17:37.653" Title="Learning to propel oneself in a swing" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|development|teaching|gross-motor-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6084" CreationDate="2013-04-11T04:36:23.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is normal and not uncommon for a mother to feel like a failure at times or question herself if she is doing a good job. In fact I feel it is the mothers who care so much about their parenting that often think this if something isn't going right or their children seem to be suffering or acting out in some way. I can relate! I am a single mom and often hard on myself. My daughter is 6.5 and very strong willed! Sometimes I will give her a warning about her behavior tell her she has one chance or else... She now tells me she doesn't care. It worries me this attitude but I realize she is testing me. Our children want boundaries set and need discipline they may act like they don't but they are always going to be testing us and doing their &quot;research&quot; on what they can get away with or how we react.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have to remember that they will mirror us and our behavior.We have to take a look at how we approach life and circumstances because we are their ultimate teachers. They observe us and feel that is how to be. No one is perfect but when it comes to parenting and kids, self awareness is so important although so hard sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have done a lot of good reading lately that has been very helpful in dealing with my amazing high spirited strong willed lil beauty. Here are the books I hope they help you too:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The wonder of girls by Michael Gurian&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to talk so kids will listen &amp;amp; listen so kids will talk by Faber and Mazlish&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Emotional Muscle strong parents strong children by Novick &amp;amp; Novick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making children mind without losing yours by Dr Leman&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as we allow them them the freedom to be who they are, learn to make good choices and decisions on their own with our guidance, love them and discipline them without harming them and give them our time they will be just fine. I hope ;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4183" LastEditorUserId="4172" LastEditDate="2013-04-19T11:54:04.423" LastActivityDate="2013-04-19T11:54:04.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7846" CreationDate="2013-04-11T05:17:37.653" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to work in a preschool, and kids learn to swing at different ages, though most typically at 4-5 years. You can demonstrate the two positions of their feet while stationary (since it makes you dizzy): &quot;kick&quot; means to kick both your feet forward and &quot;back&quot; means to kick both your feet back underneath you. As you push them in the swing, you tell them &quot;kick&quot; and &quot;back&quot; at the appropriate times. It will take them awhile to get the rhythm right, and longer for it to actually propel them (they may not kick with enough force initially).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another way to teach it is to play a game where you stand in front of them. You have to get them swinging, then you hold your two hands out in front and tell them to &quot;kick&quot; your hands. When they do, you push their feet back, saying &quot;back&quot;. Your pushing will be giving them the momentum to keep swinging, while they get the rhythm of &quot;kick&quot; and &quot;back.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-11T05:17:37.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7850" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7851" CreationDate="2013-04-11T17:11:40.383" Score="6" ViewCount="1832" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was going to do some indoor painting today and I was wondering if it is ok for me to throw my 1 year old daughter into her backpack while I do it.  I would open all of the doors/windows in the room while I was painting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this seem safe or would it be better to find somewhere else for her to hang out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2511" LastActivityDate="2013-04-11T17:23:18.060" Title="Painting around baby?" Tags="|toddler|infant|health|safety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7850" CreationDate="2013-04-11T17:23:18.060" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The US EPA &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.epa.gov/opptintr/exposure/pubs/inpaint5.pdf&quot;&gt;recommends&lt;/a&gt; keeping young children from freshly painted rooms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would look into paints that off-gas fewer chemicals if I were to paint around a baby or young toddler.  You can find several.  Here is a list of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.treehugger.com/green-home/5-zero-voc-interior-paints-renovation-healthy-home.html&quot;&gt;five&lt;/a&gt; and here is a Consumer Reports &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/magazine-archive/march-2009/home-garden/interior-paints/overview/interior-paints-ov.htm&quot;&gt;comparison&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Purely anecdotally my mother threw me into a backpack to paint our home when I was a baby and I don't think it had any lasting negative impacts, but one instance does not make solid data.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-04-11T17:23:18.060" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6109" CreationDate="2013-04-11T19:11:53.410" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son at that age liked to be in the kitchen playing with pots and spoones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was nice because we could cook too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also liked to sweep the apartment. He has his own household equipement, but offcourse he likes the real stuff better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="315" LastActivityDate="2013-04-11T19:11:53.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7853" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7856" CreationDate="2013-04-11T19:31:04.880" Score="5" ViewCount="316" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six year-old son is very extroverted, and prefers to play &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; someone.  My three year-old daughter is strong-willed but introverted, and prefers to play on her own.  When they play together, my son is very controlling trying to maintain my daughter's participation in his activity of choice, which inevitably leads to conflicts.  We are working on teaching him more sociable ways to play, but the bottom line is that in the mean time, playing together is very stressful on my daughter, and playing apart is very difficult for my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We give him several chances to make it work in the same room, but after that we usually end up making him play in his room for a while.  This gives respite to my daughter, but my son perceives it as a punishment.  To a certain degree, that's okay, since he is the instigator and the one invading his sister's space.  However, giving my daughter enough alone time makes my son's perceived punishment too harsh, but reducing the time apart to make the punishment reasonable doesn't give my daughter enough alone time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you can see our dilemma.  What ideas do people have for isolating an extremely extroverted child without him perceiving it as a punishment?  Put another way, how do you help an extremely extroverted child learn to enjoy playing on his own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-12T09:56:54.980" Title="Making isolation not feel like a punishment" Tags="|discipline|play-time|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7854" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7879" CreationDate="2013-04-11T20:54:39.637" Score="6" ViewCount="222" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are organizing a big party for our 4-year old daughter. We rented a room, and expect 20-30 kids (most similar age) and the party is from 2pm to 5pm. What is the best way to manage the party (in terms of party games, toys, etc.), so that the kids are happy, and there are no casualties and property damage at the same time? What kind of party games would you propose for this age group?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately there is pretty much nothing in the room, so we have to organize everything ourselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T20:07:54.590" Title="Party games for the 4-th birthday" Tags="|games|party|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7854" CreationDate="2013-04-12T09:16:46.880" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, typical parties for this kind of age group are 2 hours - I think you may find 3 hours too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The normal format is something along the lines of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Games - 30 mins&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Organised entertainer (magician, puppet show, etc) if relevant - 30 mins&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Food - 30 mins&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Games - 30 mins&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're not doing an organised entertainer then extend the games a bit longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sorts of whole-group games that go down well with this group are things like musical chairs, musical statues, musical bumps, pass the parcel, sleeping lions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At age 4 you can also start to do some team games / challenges, like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;transferring M&amp;amp;Ms from one bowl to another using a straw&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;putting on outer clothes (wellies / gloves / hat / scarf) and carrying balls from one end of a course to the other to fill a bucket, then take off outer clothes and pass them to next person &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;passing a balloon down the line holding it only between the knees&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can have small prizes for the winning team, or the individual winners in the whole group games, but try to arrange things so that everyone gets something - at that age the children are hyper-aware of &quot;fairness&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-04-12T09:16:46.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7853" CreationDate="2013-04-12T09:56:54.980" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are two separate factors here: one is imposing an appropriate amount of alone time as a consequence for an infraction, which is easy, because after the appropriate amount of time on his own, one or other of you (parents) can join him so he's not alone but is also not bugging his sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The harder question is how to get an extrovert child to be happy spending more time alone and how to balance the needs between one extrovert child and one introvert child. I think making sure the introvert child has some space they can retreat to (and no-one is allowed in without permission) is a key here, so they don't have to be bugged by the more extrovert child. I would also encourage the extrovert child to spend more time playing outside - then other neighbourhood children might see this and come out and join in, without imposing on anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-04-12T09:56:54.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7858" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7859" CreationDate="2013-04-12T11:07:02.533" Score="15" ViewCount="80815" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old is starting to have some teeth become loose. Specifically her lower two front teeth. I just noticed today that one of them is &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; loose. However, I don't know how loose it should be before pulling it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also curious about &lt;strong&gt;how&lt;/strong&gt; to pull them (or should I just let them fall out, which seems bad). My father pulled mine with pliers but I think my wife would freak out if I tried to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, how loose is lose enough and how to pull them out (technique, tools, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-04-12T13:09:04.443" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T04:52:05.430" Title="When to pull loose teeth" Tags="|pre-schooler|teeth|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7858" CreationDate="2013-04-12T11:21:26.107" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should only let the child pull it out themselves (or leave it to fall out when it is ready if the child doesn't want to pull it). If you try to pull it out you may cause pain or injury to the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit to add: letting it fall out by itself is fine - what would be bad about that? The more ready it is, the less pain and bleeding there will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Primary teeth are physiologically stimulated to &quot;shed&quot; by the secondary teeth growing above them. There is little need to interfere with this normal process. This excludes, of course, cavities, infections, delayed eruption of secondary teeth (in which case, the tooth will not be &quot;wobbly&quot;), etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Root resorption is a physiologic event for the primary teeth. ...Root resorption seems to be initiated and regulated by the stellate reticulum and the dental follicle of the underlying permanent tooth via the secretion of stimulatory molecules, i.e. cytokines and transcription factors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normally, these teeth are programmed, then, to fall out, and failure of this mechanism is not common. There is no need to pull loose teeth; If the tooth hasn't fallen out, it's because there is still some periodontal ligament that needs resorption.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is highly unlikely that &quot;baby&quot; incisors &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to be removed; there isn't usually a problem with spacing/crowding/impaction at the incisor level. This does become more common a problem with canine teeth and molars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/josnusd/49/1/49_1_1/_article&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Physiologic root resorption in primary teeth: molecular and histological events&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aapd.org/media/Policies_Guidelines/G_OralSurgery.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Guideline on Pediatric Oral Surgery&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-21T04:52:05.430" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T04:52:05.430" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7443" CreationDate="2013-04-12T17:51:06.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We traveled extensively throughout Asia, going to Bangkok, Singapore, Hong Kong, Shenzhen, and Beijing, for several years. We used public transport exclusively. Mostly subways. Early on we ended up getting a Silver Cross Pop stroller for our baby for four main reasons: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A) we could hang a baby/travel bag off the handles and the stroller wouldn't tip. We tried Maclarens, for example, and these always tipped over backwards, even with baby in it;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B) the Pop also had a large net under the seat within which we could place some more items. Not every stroller has a large net under the seat. You might think it adds to the weight, but in fact it was handy because it got bags off of our backs and shoulders. It is actually the baby gear bags we carry which end up being more in the way than a stroller. And the subways almost always had elevators too so we rarely had to carry the baby and stroller up or down stairs;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;C) the sun shade could be pulled way over the front to act as a noise shield for when baby was napping. Very handy also to keep admiring faces away and not up close to disturb the dear sleeping child;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;D) the wheels were some kind of durable rubber, sort of like an actual car wheel. Many other brands have rigid plastic wheels (they break easily), or overly soft rubbery wheels (wear out quickly). These wheels had excellent grip, the ride was smooth, and the brakes held even when wet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other mentioned features are useful, such as pivoting front wheel, reclinable seat, sun shade (not necessarily the umbrella, that was one extra item hanging around which was too much hassle to worry about)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3824" LastActivityDate="2013-04-12T17:51:06.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7858" CreationDate="2013-04-12T20:50:17.887" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are able to wiggle it back and forth pretty far it's good to go. however, let your kid work on it. I usually waited and pushed it back and forth to provide tearing in the gums from the tooth root until an edge became unhooked. Then I would get floss and tie a loop hooking it onto the exposed edge and then either have my dad or myself pull it out suddenly or unexpectedly. My dad would count to three but always pull it on one or two. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4188" LastActivityDate="2013-04-12T20:50:17.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7854" CreationDate="2013-04-13T00:06:42.993" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pinjata (candies hidden in a paper animal is a very good game for such parties)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2625" LastActivityDate="2013-04-13T00:06:42.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6255" CreationDate="2013-04-13T00:10:51.210" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the OP. I eventually used a bribe. One M&amp;amp;M lentil (or skittle) per song (page). In the first 4 months it worked. Later my child stopped requiring the reward and now can practice without the reward and loves the piano. So initial struggle was not worth it. You can bribe and fade it away later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2625" LastActivityDate="2013-04-13T00:10:51.210" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7760" CreationDate="2013-04-13T00:13:41.550" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Maryland (USA), there  is a law that makes it illegal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children under the age of 8 may not be left unattended in a motor vehicle. A child is considered supervised if accompanied by someone age 13 or older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safekids.org/in-your-area/safety-laws/maryland-unattended-children-in-cars-law-156.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.safekids.org/in-your-area/safety-laws/maryland-unattended-children-in-cars-law-156.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2625" LastEditorUserId="2625" LastEditDate="2013-04-19T03:00:52.293" LastActivityDate="2013-04-19T03:00:52.293" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7866" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7869" CreationDate="2013-04-14T04:10:40.377" Score="31" ViewCount="273985" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand that newborn's immune system is still weak and crowds/strangers are to be avoided. Knowing this, how soon can I take my newborn outside, for example to take ~1 hours walk in a non-crowded park? Any particular things to pay attention to when doing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4192" LastActivityDate="2017-08-25T21:25:53.400" Title="How soon until I can take my newborn to take a walk outside?" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|outdoor|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6255" CreationDate="2013-04-14T09:26:46.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question to the parent is:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Why Piano?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Why not &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabla&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tabla&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bansuri&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bansuri&lt;/a&gt;, Guitar, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sitar&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sitar&lt;/a&gt; etc? Why only Piano?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just because &quot;you&quot; find it cool? Have you tried to find out whether your child is interested in any of the other above mentioned instruments? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she even interested in learning &quot;any&quot; kind of music, or her interest is Photography?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, the only kind of Piano I have seen is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.steinway.com/img/hero_boston.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;. That is not something which one can actually hang on the back and go to college, or walk on roads, or play on bed or sofa, or play while moving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, maybe there are some smaller sized Pianos too, but my second point is that if she feels that she can actually &quot;show off&quot; her talent in a &quot;stylish&quot; and &quot;unique&quot; way to her friends and neighbors the very same day she learns a new lesson, may be that'll inspire her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-04-14T09:26:46.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7866" CreationDate="2013-04-14T12:00:58.503" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have never heard that strangers are to be avoided with newborns, and I certainly wouldn't recommend staying inside to avoid them. You need to get out for your own sanity, so get out and go for walks as soon as you can. Exposure to new environments and people is good for babies development, keeping them cooped up indoors and away from social contact is not the recipe for a happy child. As for any immune system concerns the only way for them to get stronger is to build up resistance, they may as well do it while having fun. If you know someone is sick keep them away by all means, that's just good sense, but going overboard is not helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-04-14T12:00:58.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7866" CreationDate="2013-04-14T14:59:42.307" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.statelibrary.sc.gov/scedocs/H3496/000703.pdf&quot;&gt;pamphlet&lt;/a&gt;, put out by the South Carolina Department of Health, suggests it is safe at one month. You should avoid large crowds, but the fresh air and stimulation is good for baby. You should probably not allow people to touch your baby's hands (since baby may put them in his mouth). Your greater concern in going outside is the weather - keeping baby warm/cool enough and avoiding too much direct exposure to sun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, in a non-crowded situation, I would not hesitate to take the baby for a walk as soon as I felt up to it - usually within days of birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-04-14T15:16:28.903" LastActivityDate="2013-04-14T15:16:28.903" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7866" CreationDate="2013-04-14T19:10:22.700" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;The guideline I've been given by our pediatricians was to avoid anybody with an easily transmittable disease for the first six weeks. The main reason to stay away from crowds and/or strangers is that you don't really know who in the area is ill or contagious. You don't want somebody to sneeze in your kid's face at any age, really, but a newborn is more vulnerable than a toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To more directly answer your real question: We took our daughter for short walks through our favorite nearby woods from when she was only a week old. I don't think she necessarily got a whole lot from the experience at that age, but it was great for me to get some fresh air and exercise. As long as the baby is comfortable and adequately protected from temperature/sunshine, you can take her wherever you want to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-04-14T19:10:22.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7873" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-15T13:34:50.213" Score="4" ViewCount="998" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're preparing for our first overnight vacation since my son has outgrown a crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been in a &quot;big boy bed&quot; for several months now, and still is very proud of this fact (and very proud of &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; bed in particular).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last time we traveled overnight, my son was less than a year old.  Now he's two-and-a-half.  I'm a little worried that he might not handle sleeping in a strange place as well as he did when he was younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it common for children of that age to become upset about sleeping in a strange bed?  Is there anything I can do to prepare that might make it easier on him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-04-16T08:30:18.903" Title="How do you prepare a toddler to sleep in a strange place (a hotel room)?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|travel|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7866" CreationDate="2013-04-15T14:23:06.340" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in Asia, people are pretty conservative. They don't take babies out until they are 3 months old. We followed that and my child seemed to better than others (perhaps just lucky).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the issue with the under-developed immune system is good and it is very hard to tell who has an asymptomatic infection disease. So, for my child, I prefer to fall on the conservative side. That said, we did have friends and family over during those first three months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastActivityDate="2013-04-15T14:23:06.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7873" CreationDate="2013-04-15T15:14:34.003" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try making it an exciting part of the vacation. &quot;When we're visiting Fun Destination, &lt;em&gt;we get to sleep in a hotel!&lt;/em&gt;&quot; Don't focus exclusively on it, of course (who takes vacations just for the mattresses?), but get him used to the idea that it's part of the whole fun vacation experience. I don't know how typical my kids are in this respect, but they find all the &quot;new&quot; furniture in a hotel room to be an incredibly exciting part of the trip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring along a favorite stuffed toy, pillow, and/or blanket that is usually part of &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; bed, and it will feel much more familiar right away. When you get to the hotel room, point out &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; temporary bed, let him jump all over it and explore the pillows and blankets. When you're putting him to sleep, do all the usual bedtime routine activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By discussing it in advance, helping him &quot;bond&quot; with his temporary bed, and making this seem like a total normal night (just with a different bed), you can hopefully avoid any anxiety when you arrive. And it's also possible to rely on the fact that toddlers are often capable of exhausting themselves thoroughly and falling asleep pretty much anywhere. Our struggle on vacations is keeping the kids awake long enough to get &lt;em&gt;into&lt;/em&gt; the hotel bed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-04-15T15:14:34.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7873" CreationDate="2013-04-16T08:30:18.903" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Familiarity is not just a place, it is objects, and process. So, bring along the toys he sleeps with and ask him to pick some bed-time books. Find out beforehand what kids channels are on the TV and look at what is shown and when, then pick out something for him to watch while you unpack and get things ready. Then when you get to the hotel follow your normal bed-time routine. Don't make a big deal out of it, just be matter of fact as if it's something you do everyday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, make sure he's tired, and that you've had some nice calm time before bed. Don't get to the hotel, jam him in his PJs and tell him to go to sleep, he'll be too excited. Give some time to decompress, read some stories, maybe watch a cartoon or two (depending on routine). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-04-16T08:30:18.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7858" CreationDate="2013-04-16T10:48:40.390" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always encouraged my kids to wiggle their teeth as much as they can once they become loose. And once they get really loose, they have come up with various ways to speed them on their way, from chewing toffee or apples, through to pliers or string.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is as a direct result of my eldest accidentally swallowing one in his sleep and finding its passage uncomfortable :-/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have offered my services with the pliers if necessary, but they'd rather do it themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being excited about the 50p they'll get from the tooth fairy probably helps as well...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-04-16T10:48:40.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7854" CreationDate="2013-04-16T15:23:26.043" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, I wouldn't try to over-organize at this age.  Have a few games prepped and ready to go, like the ones Vicky suggested, but I would mainly just have lots of age appropriate toys and let hem kind of just have fun.  If they seem to be getting stir crazy before you are ready for next phase of party, then bust out one of your prepared games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2013-04-16T15:23:26.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7880" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-16T16:27:25.003" Score="3" ViewCount="3974" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everyday, my 18 months old boy is always asking to watch a movie by coming to my laptop and requesting to watch movie by talking with his baby talk style. I have a good serial cartoon movies for him. But sometimes he feel bored with the same movies which I chosed for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before I am going further, actually, can my 18 months old boy learn from watching movies? If it is yes, do you have any recommended movies which has good contents for my boy to learn?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastActivityDate="2013-05-07T21:17:49.717" Title="Can my 18 months old boy learn from watching movies?" Tags="|toddler|development|movies|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7880" CreationDate="2013-04-16T17:06:57.107" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you mentioned in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/7528/420&quot;&gt;a previous question&lt;/a&gt;, attention span is likely to be the limiting factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not common for children that age to be able to sit through entire movies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3772/420&quot;&gt;there is no evidence that any television, regardless of the content, provides any benefit on children under the age of 2&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So at the most basic, no, your 18 month old son is unlikely to learn anything from watching a movie, and probably will have a hard time sitting through most of it, let alone the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I've found to be a better alternative is to explore short video clips that address specific interests or questions your child may have.  My son loves animals, and sometimes questions come up about animals (such as &quot;what does a toucan sound like?&quot;) that can be answered by a quick youtube.com video.  Let your son drive the topics by telling you what he's interested in, then you find a short video or two to show him about what he's asking about.  Their attention span is short enough that he'll likely come up with a different topic to look up pretty quickly, and he'll learn a lot more just by interacting with you while you look up the videos and talk about what you're watching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-04-16T17:06:57.107" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7880" CreationDate="2013-04-16T21:01:21.220" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrician's policy statement addresses this very issue.  You can read it in full &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2011/10/12/peds.2011-1753.full.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In fact, 2 studies have found&#xA;  that watching a program such as “Sesame&#xA;  Street” has a negative effect on&#xA;  language for children younger than 2&#xA;  years, and 2 studies have found no&#xA;  evidence of benefit....Children 12 to 18&#xA;  months of age are more likely to learn&#xA;  from a live presentation than from a&#xA;  televised one and are also more likely&#xA;  to remember the information from a&#xA;  live presentation afterward....Some 18- to 24-month-olds&#xA;  might be capable of learning from media,&#xA;  but others might not. Other variables&#xA;  that influence a child’s ability to&#xA;  learn are the content of the program,&#xA;  the amount of television watched, and&#xA;  whether a parent is watching with the&#xA;  child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than screen time, the AAP recommends:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Unstructured playtime is more&#xA;  valuable for the developing brain&#xA;  than any electronic media exposure.&#xA;  If a parent is not able to actively&#xA;  play with a child, that child&#xA;  should have solo playtime with an&#xA;  adult nearby. Even for infants as&#xA;  young as 4 months of age, solo play&#xA;  allows a child to think creatively,&#xA;  problem-solve, and accomplish&#xA;  tasks with minimal parent interaction.&#xA;  The parent can also learn&#xA;  something in the process of giving&#xA;  the child an opportunity to entertain&#xA;  himself or herself while remaining&#xA;  nearby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-04-16T21:01:21.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7883" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7885" CreationDate="2013-04-17T05:01:04.563" Score="3" ViewCount="33277" Body="&lt;p&gt;We don't intend to purchase a stroller. We intend to purchase a back pack baby carrier. At what minimum age is it considered safe to put the baby in the back pack?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think just born babies can not be put in the back packs since they can't support their heads(?). At that age we have no choice other than to carry him in our hands? Do we?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-04-24T12:29:07.473" Title="At what age can we expect a baby to be carried in a back pack baby carrier?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7883" CreationDate="2013-04-17T10:39:21.357" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.closeparent.com/FeaturedProducts/tabid/240/txtSearch/sling/ProductID/5531/Default.aspx&quot;&gt;Close Baby sling&lt;/a&gt; from very early on in our daughter's life.  I would &lt;strong&gt;NOT&lt;/strong&gt; recommend a &lt;em&gt;backpack&lt;/em&gt; sling because you want to have immediate access to your baby and be able to see if they're getting into trouble, but I assume this kind of thing is what you meant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The straps are designed to support the head, which assuages your concerns about head support. As it says on the site, it's suitable for any babies over 5lb (2.27kg), as long as you choose the right position. (As a bonus, my partner found she could &lt;em&gt;feed the baby&lt;/em&gt; in that position)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Critically, the manufacturer's guidelines are &lt;strong&gt;not a replacement for observing your child&lt;/strong&gt;. I found that initially, you still couldn't do too much with my daughter in the sling without worrying that she'd gone very still (every time it turned out she'd fallen asleep), as the straps neatly hid her head, and tiny babies sleep silently. Similarly, if she'd seemed uncomfortable or struggling, or if the sling wasn't holding her closely enough, then that would have been the point to stop for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she got a bit bigger, and we stopped (irrationally) worrying so much that she'd just suddenly decide to &lt;em&gt;stop breathing&lt;/em&gt;, you find that, depending on the baby, you can do quite a lot while they're in the sling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as an aside, you &lt;em&gt;need to be aware&lt;/em&gt; of the limitations of on-person carriers vs strollers. Specifically, that when on the go, you cannot put the baby down to do something. If you're sitting down or get tired or sick while out, you can't put the baby down, and this limits what you can do. (e.g. if you need to vomit, you're really in trouble). We found our stroller invaluable, especially as she got older and thus &lt;em&gt;BIGGER&lt;/em&gt; and more curious. An 8-month old struggling to get out of your backpack is a very different thing than an 8-month old struggling to get out of a stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2013-04-17T10:39:21.357" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2858" CreationDate="2013-04-17T14:49:32.650" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had the same issue. I let my wife sleep thru it so this is my process. My daughter is all over the boards, but she goes down easy at bed time. She will wake up anywhere between 11-6 depending on the day. We've tried letting her cry it out and she lasts 3 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Let her cry for 10 minutes or so and see if she'll go back down, if she gets fired up, I don't wait to check her. I've found the more emotional she is/gets at this point, the longer it takes for both of us to get back to sleep.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2) Pick her up, check her nose, head/body temp, daiper. If she's stuffed, clear it, hot, remove sleep sack, wet change daiper. * minimal light to no light&lt;br&gt;&#xA;3) She will probably fired up, so I give her a bottle with water in it, in case she is genuinely thirsty. She usually hits it for an ounce or two. * I go to bed with the bottle ready everynight&lt;br&gt;&#xA;4) Rock her until she falls asleep, put her back in crib.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;5) If she won't go back to the crib, I don't fight her, I put her in bed at that point.&#xA;6) If she's too fired up for our bed, which is rare, then I go back to number 2. But usually she goes down with a smile in our bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4204" LastActivityDate="2013-04-17T14:49:32.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7888" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-17T19:02:36.993" Score="11" ViewCount="2085" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3½ year old has never had &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; sense of music, rhythm, notes, or anything resembling the musical arts. (Motor skills is where he truly excels; he's a sports person, not a musician.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, he has begun to sing &lt;em&gt;loudly&lt;/em&gt; all afternoon, literally for hours on end. It's not words, just random sounds, but he sings at near maximum volume. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry to say it but it's awful to listen to, and it is also extremely stressful. We also have a 6 months old baby who isn't sleeping enough as it is; the noise and the irritation it causes isn't helping. We need him to be more quiet -- not &quot;quiet&quot;, just &quot;quieter&quot; -- or we will soon lose our minds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When sent to his room, he makes sure to sing loud enough to be well heard anyway. When asked to use a softer voice, he will lower his voice for less than 30 seconds, then yell again. Our usual disciplines don't work (timeout; sending him to his room; ignoring him) and he will just sing louder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's normally well-behaved and fairly balanced, and responds well to our requests. He can spend half an hour playing in his room, or in the living room, without making a racket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of the baby, and house construction going on, we haven't got the time or energy to engage in musical practice, and even if we tried we don't feel that it would work (see first paragraph).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How does one make a person shut up, or at least be quieter?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T21:19:43.587" LastActivityDate="2013-11-07T13:54:21.247" Title="Preschooler can't sing, but sings anyway - loudly!" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|development|attention|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7889" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7898" CreationDate="2013-04-17T20:25:30.370" Score="5" ViewCount="30862" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in a flat. The flat next door (we share 2 walls) has an old man who smokes 5-6 times a day. Sometimes alone, sometimes with 2-3 friends (I'm guessing, have never been inside but see people come in).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should report him to the cops but have not. I have a 1-year-old son. We close our front door (which is next to his) at all times and the balcony which is near his most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heard of any studies of the effects that the little smoke that might be getting inside our place? Sometimes when we are going out with the baby the front area is smelly, he leaves his door open 2 inches. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4206" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-13T16:19:29.587" LastActivityDate="2019-02-13T16:19:29.587" Title="What are the effects of neighbour's marijuana on an infant?" Tags="|infant|health|research|drugs|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7890" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7899" CreationDate="2013-04-18T01:05:06.597" Score="4" ViewCount="10497" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is almost 3 years old and he's been getting worse about talking back and not obeying our directions (such as &quot;put on your shoes&quot; or &quot;pick up your toys&quot;).  We're thinking about implementing John Rosemond's ticket system where he gets 5 tickets per day and after he loses them all for 5 misbehaviors, he is sent to his room for the rest of his day.  The thing we're not sure about is whether is this an appropriate length punishment for an almost 3-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is: Is an entire day too long for a 3-year-old to be sent to his room?  If so, what is a more appropriate length of time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were leaning towards starting with a 1 hour room punishment after losing 5 tickets.  And after that time is up, he gets 3 tickets back.  Subsequent loss of all tickets would result in perhaps a 2 hour timeout.  This is starting to seem a little too complicated, however.  Thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now he gets a 1-5 minute sit-down time-out for these types of misbehaviors, but he rarely seems to care at all.  Sometimes he even asks for a time-out in lieu of doing what he's told.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4208" LastActivityDate="2020-12-25T19:44:15.420" Title="How long should a 3 year old be sent to his room?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|time-out|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7891" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-18T02:20:31.677" Score="12" ViewCount="37432" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 week old baby girl is not nursing well. At each nursing, she eats 1 to 1.5 ounces in about 50 to 60 minutes. She often falls asleep immediately afterwards. If we let her, she will sleep for 3+ hours between feedings. We typically wake her up so that she nurses every 2.5-3 hours to make sure she gets 8 feedings a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this rate she will only be getting 12-18 ounces of breast milk a day when she needs to be getting closer to 24 ounces a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her pediatrician has recommended pumping and giving her a bottle to supplement to make sure she gets the 3 ounces he recommends based on her birth weight. We did that so she will start gaining weight, which she has. However, when I nurse her she is back at taking in about an ounce over 60 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help my baby girl nurse more effectively?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1613" LastActivityDate="2013-04-19T09:29:59.197" Title="2 week old baby is not interested in eating" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7891" CreationDate="2013-04-18T03:30:18.783" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had overwhelming trouble nursing - very similar to what you are describing. I cannot give you a hard and fast answer, but I have a few thoughts from my experiences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, breastfeeding is the hardest thing I have ever done. It was emotionally difficult, as well as physically difficult with my daughter. It is also my most proud accomplishment that we made it a year. Keep at it. I found it was worth the struggle, which for us lasted 4 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, be careful pumping too much - it is not as good as breastfeeding for your milk supply production. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, as long as she is growing, it is good. Babies will not starve themselves. I was  told this over and over by multiple pediatricians. Do not let anyone talk you out of breastfeeding if that is the path that you are committed to as a mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I found that it took an overwhelming amount of dedication to get through the difficult patch. She eventually got on board. She has always been a great sleeper and hated being woken up to eat. I used to strip her down to her diaper to keep her awake to eat, which helped. I also found with her establishing a routine was helpful - Daddy would get her up, change her diaper and strip her down then I would feed her and re-dress her - she came to know what we were doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter finally started making significant weight gains when we added solid foods to her diet. She was very tiny for a very long time - below the 15th percentile. This week we went for her 2 year check up and she is now in the 75th percentile for her weight. Stick with it. Listen to your instincts and listen to your baby. As long as she is growing and hitting benchmarks, trust that you are doing well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, my second child, a boy never had a moment of difficulty nursing, so do not assume that this difficulty will happen with every child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2013-04-18T03:30:18.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7890" CreationDate="2013-04-18T04:37:23.050" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sending an almost 3-year-old to their room for, potentially, all day seems a bit excessive.  I mean, an almost 3-year-old could conceivably lose all five tickets before noon, and by the end of the day he probably isn't going to even remember why he was sent to his room to begin with.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I do agree that your modified plan starts getting a little complicated.  Perhaps instead of waiting to send him to his room once all his tickets are gone, send him to his room every time he loses a ticket.  Granted, this turns the ticket system into just another time-out, but punishments for 3-year-olds need to be immediate because they need to connect the offending action with the punishment--whether that punishment is natural or contrived is entirely up to you.  I'm concerned that a young 3 isn't going to be able to associate losing the ticket to performing the undesired behavior.  I mean, losing a ticket isn't &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; a punishment.  The punishment is being sent to his room for the remainder of the day, but that might not occur until several hours after the first ticket is lost.  This type of punishment would work fine for my 5-year-old, but my daughter would be more or less clueless. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what older 2's/3-year-olds do.  Whoever made up that ridiculous saying &quot;the terrible twos&quot; obviously never dealt with a 3-year-old.  Three year olds are testing boundaries and that is NORMAL--a lot of it is just a power struggle.  And sometimes it seems that no punishment is ever deterrent enough for them.  My daughter will be 3 in July and sometimes it seems like time-outs do absolutely nothing for her.  Sometimes we have success offering them options (Would you rather clean up your trains first or take out the recycling first?  They are aware that both tasks have to be completed, but they get to choose which one they do first.  I don't personally care which task gets completed first as long as they both get done.).  This doesn't mean that we never have to put our kids in time-out or anything like that, but if you over-use time-out it becomes meaningless.  Pick your battles.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-04-18T04:37:23.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7866" CreationDate="2013-04-18T09:55:57.593" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We took our newborn daughter out to a crowded shopping center, on a busy Saturday, at 3 &lt;em&gt;days&lt;/em&gt; old. And being our first child, &lt;em&gt;we were being overly careful with her&lt;/em&gt; as only a new parent is!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shock/Horror nothing happened. She grew up fine. You should be careful with newborns, they're immune system &lt;em&gt;may not&lt;/em&gt; quite be at full power yet, but equally they don't need to be cocooned either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2302" LastEditorUserId="2302" LastEditDate="2013-04-18T14:30:22.827" LastActivityDate="2013-04-18T14:30:22.827" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7891" CreationDate="2013-04-18T10:00:43.120" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Agh. Supplementing is such bad advice (regardless of f the advice is to give additional breast milk or formula), it really upsets me that pediatricians (who should know better!) still tell people to do this, especially in the case of slow weight gain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Advice concerning slow weight gain (or weight loss) is very tricky, as there are so many different factors to consider, and rarely just one cause. Slow weight gain may be a sign of underlying problems in the child (but the most common cause is still problems with the breastfeeding technique). To routinely advise supplementation without finding the underlying cause of the slow weight gain or weight loss can, in the worst case, conceal sickness in the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to understand that more than 95% of the newborns lose weight after birth because of natural fluid loss, combined with the naturally low volume of colostrum the baby ingests the first few days. Around 12% of babies lose 10% or more in weight, ans only 5% increase in weight the first three days [January Riordan, Breastfeeding and human lactation, 2010]. Hence, it's &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;completely normal&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; for the child to lose weight after birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One should also keep in mind that weight is not the only measure of growth. Measuring height and head circumference may be just as important (if not more). Just because a child is gaining weight does not mean she is growing, and rapid weight gain is not always something worth striving for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Sweden, recommendations to breastfeeding counselors is to not advice to start supplementing unless the child has lost more than 10% of its birth weight. Hence it's perfectly okay for a child to lose up to 10% after birth, without the need for supplementation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At a 5-7% weight loss the pediatrician should focus on supporting the mother and the baby with their breastfeeding technique, make sure the child has as good a latch as possible, helping to reduce and ease any redress or pain, and talking about how the mother can increase her milk production (basic anatomy, how milk production goes to, etc.). Instructing the mother to supplement is known to be connected with low self-esteem of the mother in regard to breastfeeding and can cause problems with milk production.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another problem is that your baby will get used to drinking out of a bottle, which can lead to nipple confusion and make breastfeeding even harder for the pair of you. I would stop doing this immediately, and focus on getting the breastfeeding to work instead. Your baby will not starve, you need to trust her on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contact a lactation consultant ASAP to get help with your breastfeeding. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastEditorUserId="2394" LastEditDate="2013-04-19T09:29:59.197" LastActivityDate="2013-04-19T09:29:59.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7891" CreationDate="2013-04-18T14:17:16.307" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know how you're determining how much milk she is getting, but rather than focussing on input at this age I would be looking at output - she should be having 6-8 properly wet nappies, and 1-2 dirty ones, per day at this stage. This, in combination with checks on her body weight, will tell you whether she's heading in the right direction or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's short on output that's an early warning sign that she's not getting enough milk; wake her up more frequently to feed - for 48 hours, don't go more than 2 hours from the START of one feed to the START of the next. If you possibly can spend those 48 hours with her, in bed, both of you wearing as little as possible so you get lots of skin to skin contact, then that will help get things better established. If you do this make sure someone brings you frequent drinks of water and food you can eat one-handed. (Also, make sure you are getting LOTS of water to drink and calorific food to eat no matter what.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This happened with my daughter - she just wasn't very efficient at feeding at first, and it is a vicious circle where not enough milk -&gt; sleepy -&gt; unlikely to feed -&gt; not enough milk. The 48 hours thing is a complete pain at the time, but it sets up a basis for a much better breastfeeding relationship which makes things easier down the road. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the 48 hours thing doesn't seem to improve things then I would consult a qualified lactation consultant to check on her latch. She may have something like a minor tongue-tie which makes it hard to feed efficiently and this can be easily corrected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I definitely think that supplementing with a bottle is bad advice at this stage (as long as she's not actually dehydrated - if she is, then it becomes more of a case of getting it into her by whatever means possible, although spoon or syringe feeding is still better than bottle feeding at this point).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. I know this is a really difficult time and you want to be doing your best for her but it's not clear what the best actually &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt;, which is terribly stressful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-04-18T14:17:16.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7889" CreationDate="2013-04-18T15:39:26.977" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/marijuana-abuse/how-does-marijuana-use-affect-your-brain-body&quot;&gt;National Institute on Drug Abuse&lt;/a&gt; has the following information about marijuana and the brain:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Marijuana use impairs a person's ability to form new memories and to shift focus.  THC also disrupts coordination and balance by binding to receptors in the cerebellum and the basal ganglia.  According to the website, the jury is still out as to exactly how long-lasting some of these effects are.  Some research seems to indicate that adolescents who smoke pot on a regular basis suffer significantly from memory loss, including one study that suggests a decrease in IQ of up to 8 points even years after they quit smoking.  However, other studies seem to suggest that the memory loss is temporary and can rebound after a person has been &quot;clean&quot; for several weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't necessarily help you with your infant, but since you're child's brain is still developing it would concern me to to expose him to &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; that could effect his memory, his ability to focus, or his coordination.  Additionally, since he is so small, the concentration required to effect him would be quite a bit lower than the concentration needed to produce similar effects in adults.  Either way, it isn't healthy for a child to be around &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; type of smoke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is how much exposure is your child getting.  The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/secondhand_smoke/general_facts/index.htm&quot;&gt;Centers for Disease Control&lt;/a&gt; has some interesting information on second-hand smoke.  It's pretty apparent they are talking almost exclusively about second-hand &lt;em&gt;cigarette&lt;/em&gt; smoke, but it does raise the question of asthma and other respiratory problems which can occur regardless of the type of smoke one is exposed to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A somewhat new concern is something called &quot;third-hand smoke&quot; which is residual particulates that contaminate surfaces after a cigarette has been extinguished.  This is one of the reasons why homes and apartments will still smell like cigarette smoke even years after the smoker has left or quit smoking.  The smell that permeates carpets, sofas, chairs, etc.  It is suggested that children are especially at risk for this type of &quot;smoke&quot; since they tend to play on floors and their faces are typically right at couch-height especially when they're learning to walk.  This doesn't seem to be a concern with you since the smoking is not occurring in your apartment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any smells, I think it's worth noting that sometimes you simply grow accustomed to having a particular smell around and you stop noticing it.  Your apartment &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; smell like pot smoke and you just don't notice it anymore--especially if there are any vents in the two walls that you share with this particular apartment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could just try talking to him about it.  The pot smokers I've known (those who smoke only pot--nothing else), are generally very laid-back, affable people who would probably understand if you asked him to let you know before he smoked on the balcony or to shut his door so as to avoid letting the smoke out into the hallway.  However, as we've all ready established, marijuana effects memory so he might not &lt;em&gt;remember&lt;/em&gt; that you asked--especially if he's a something of a frequent user. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-04-18T15:39:26.977" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7890" CreationDate="2013-04-18T16:57:38.617" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, the most effective time limit at that age is &lt;strong&gt;until you're ready&lt;/strong&gt;.  If the discipline is for refusing to pick up his toys, the consequence is time out &quot;&lt;em&gt;until you're ready&lt;/em&gt; to pick up your toys.&quot;  Then you ask in 3-minute intervals if he is ready to do it or not.  This ties the consequence directly to the desired behavior, and lets the child choose the severity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first few times, it might take a &lt;em&gt;long&lt;/em&gt; time, like an hour or more, but they will eventually catch on that the effort isn't worth it.  Sometimes, we'll add another consequence at every interval, like another toy being confiscated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-18T16:57:38.617" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7888" CreationDate="2013-04-19T03:37:00.713" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There's a new baby and many requests for quiet, so a bit of sibling rivalry or age appropriate rebellion may be at play.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There's construction noise going on, and his singing may be a way of &quot;controlling&quot; the noise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is quiet sometimes (yea!), and this is probably just a stage that will go away if you don't let it become a battle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play music on a stereo. He may sing along or he might just listen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sing along. Teach him some songs. Enjoy his lack of musicality, and be sure to film it to share with him when he's a teen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get him a child's CD player or other music playing device and some headphones. He may still sing, but he may not need to sing as loudly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure he gets 30 minutes of 1-on-1 time with Mom or Dad away from baby each day - special time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure he has a special big brother job - something he can do that baby can't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-19T03:37:00.713" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7890" CreationDate="2013-04-19T04:01:45.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The purpose of a timeout is to deny a child your attention, since this is what he wants most in the world, and to give him time to settle himself if he is overwrought. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books/about/1_2_3_Magic.html?id=dhtFAAAAYAAJ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;1-2-3 Magic&lt;/a&gt; method suggests 3 minutes for a 3-year-old or until the tantrum subsides, whichever is longer. You should not respond to any calling out from the other side of the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing about discipline is that a child must be able to relate the the disciplinary action directly to the behavior for it to be effective. After a few minutes, that connection is lost, and the 3-year-old child no longer understands why he is confined to his room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In his book &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.touchpointsbook.com/parents.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Touchpoints&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, renowned child expert T. Barry Brazelton, states:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Use a time-out, but for a brief period only. After it’s over, hug him&#xA;  and explain why it was necessary. Ask the child’s advice about what might help next time. Then try it. If it works, give him credit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-19T04:01:45.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7902" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7926" CreationDate="2013-04-19T11:52:22.960" Score="17" ViewCount="48146" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3.5 yr old (will be 4 in July) son has a real difficulty handling frustration to the point that it is driving me and my wife insane. Hardly a day goes by where we don't both end up in tears, utterly exhausted and with no idea what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The situation can come up at any time but here's an examples that describes the basic pattern:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's time for bed, but he doesn't want to stop what he's doing (playing, watching tv, whatever) to get ready for bed. This is despite repeated advance warnings that bed time is coming up. He simply refuses to stop what he's doing and collaborate with us in getting him ready for bed. He appears not to even hear what we're saying to him. It will come to a point where one of us has to turn off the TV or start tidying up the toys or take some action to stop him from what he's doing that he doesn't want to stop doing. This is the immediate trigger for a &lt;strong&gt;huge&lt;/strong&gt; tantrum. At this point nothing, &lt;strong&gt;nothing&lt;/strong&gt; will work, he's totally beside himself. We have to let him rage for a few minutes and only then can we try to calm him down and soothe him. At this point he usually says he's sorry and then does pretty much whatever we want him to do. When this happens 3,4,5 nights in a row it's soul destroying, not to mention incredibly tiring. When the &quot;it's time for bed&quot; point arrives we already know that we have two choices: let him carry on doing whatever he wants (unacceptable), or set off a tantrum (also unacceptable).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This morning we had the same scene because he was playing on the iPad and it was time to leave for pre-school (for him) and work (for us). Anything can trigger it, usually it involves him having to stop doing something he's enjoying because something else has to happen (go to bed, leave the house, get out of the bathtub, leave the playground, etc). Sometimes it can be over something so trivial and ridiculous as &quot;i wanted to eat the apple with the peel, but you peeled it, stick the peel back on&quot;. When we try to explain the impossibility of that he just blows up (that was a real example, not something I made up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We never hit him. We've tried re-direction (not always easy), trying to empathise with him, trying to reason with him. Nothing seems to work. It's driving us insane. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3489" LastActivityDate="2019-04-05T17:30:57.510" Title="3.5yr old pre-schooler cannot deal with frustration" Tags="|pre-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7902" CreationDate="2013-04-19T13:59:34.413" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds normal to me :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or rather, the behavior of your child sounds typical, but your emotional response (&quot;it's soul destroying&quot;) does not. Kids learn to deal with frustration over time, but they are very bad at it for a while. What makes it more difficult is that throwing a tantrum has some benefits, namely, extra attention from the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometime it's best to just breathe deeply and wait it out, then proceed as if nothing happened. Just calmly continue with the bedtime routine, or going out routine, or shrug and offer the peeled apple again. Only when you're sure you're not giving your child any incentive to carry on with tantrums, does it make sense to actually help them identify their emotions and deal with them in a calmer way. But for now, it seems to me that you need to practice to actively ignore and to learn to accept that this is a standard episode in the life of a parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-04-19T13:59:34.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7902" CreationDate="2013-04-20T01:09:52.570" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really feel for you. It is clear that you and your wife are loving parents who only want what is best for your son and you are both working very hard at providing a loving home for him. But a part of that love will be letting him learn how to deal with things in his life that he does not like. How to behave himself in a way that does not upset or interrupt the people around him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A big part of that is that is a child he &lt;strong&gt;cannot&lt;/strong&gt; be in control of every situation, he is not always going to get what he wants, and most importantly throwing a temper-tantrum will not result in the outcome that he wants. The reactions to temper-tantrums &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; be consistent and adhered to by everyone in his life. Tantrums are either ignored or have consequences that are not what the child wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house a tantrum at bedtime results in immediate teeth brushing and off to bed instead of the usually routine of milk, crackers, reading a story, and picking out a special toy to take to bed. It only took about 4 times for our 2.5yr old to understand what was going on and stop having bedtime tantrums, although we still struggle with him fighting us on the brushing of teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other times tantrums are dealt with by ignoring him if we have the time and patience for it, otherwise we take him to a corner and hold him in time-out for 3 minutes and/or until he is calmed down and has acknowledged his actions. The entire time he is in time-out I am doing my best to talk calmly and gently to him explaining what he has done wrong and why I am putting him in time out. When he calms if down, if it is appropriate, I ask him to apologize to the person he was being rude to and to give them a hug. Sometimes he wont do that so I hold him in time-out for a little longer than let him go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting him in time-out while in a public place like a park, the mall, or at a restaurant can get pretty uncomfortable for me, a lot of people stare and make faces at us but it is only through being consistent that he will learn and adjust his reactions to things that he does not like. I have only put him in time-out for more than a minute twice, and it is brutal. But then again, he has not acted out in public since then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if we can just get him to sit in a booster seat without getting up and running around...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2013-04-20T01:09:52.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4268" CreationDate="2013-04-20T16:23:36.317" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We plan to sterilize bottles until he is 12 mo. Sippy cups we just wash because they have no milk in them. We have devoted one veggie crisper drawer in the frig to store the sterilized bottles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question I would think the droplets of water are fine, especially if you are on city water. If on well water you might want to have it checked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is one thing I would recommend which many may think is overkill.  I use a separate container to wash the only the baby's bottles. That way you don't have to worry as much about bacteria from greasy dirty dishes, glasses, and flatware. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't have a sterilizer or time for the hassle, Walmart carries a 5 pack of microwave sterilizer bags, each bag is good for 20 uses. About $5.00. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4217" LastActivityDate="2013-04-20T16:23:36.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7888" CreationDate="2013-04-21T01:24:35.607" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, &lt;strong&gt;don't discourage him&lt;/strong&gt;.  That is the worst thing you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you tell him &lt;em&gt;he's bad at something&lt;/em&gt;, that will create a very judgemental culture in your household.  &lt;em&gt;&quot;You're bad at this so don't do it.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, means later he may be afraid to try new things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one is &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; at anything when they first start. He may become a great singer in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway deal with it &lt;strong&gt;like you'd deal with any annoying thing&lt;/strong&gt;.  Don't treat him specially &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;just because he sucks at something and telling him to stop will &quot;bring to light&quot; that he currently sucks&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.  Actually he won't notice he sucks &lt;strong&gt;unless you tell him&lt;/strong&gt;.  You can simply say &lt;em&gt;when you're that loud it annoys me&lt;/em&gt;.  When he annoys you too much find a means to make him stop (as in stopping any other kind of disobedience).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think the key point here is not to handle his feelings about house rules with kid gloves.  He won't interpret you tell him to quiet down as &quot;YOU REALLY SUCK!!&quot; &lt;strong&gt;unless you say it that way&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1850" LastActivityDate="2013-04-21T01:24:35.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7888" CreationDate="2013-04-21T06:04:54.967" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It definitely seems as though he is getting some sort of satisfaction from this, whether from the attention you give to his volume or just pure joy of doing the activity.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my kids were younger, at that age, the time outs, etc didn't work either.  What I found that does work is first, not to pay too much attention to the issue to where he knows its driving you mad.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;At that age, they are learning to push boundaries and buttons. That doesn't mean you cannot tell him that he needs to lower his voice. Saying something like, when you talk or sing too loud, it really hurts my ears.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Usually, kids that age don't want to hurt their parents in any way so that might help. When my kids would do physical things that would hurt me such as kicking and screaming during a tantrum, I would calmly, firmly but sadly tell them that they are hurting me, it doesn't feel good and they are hurting my feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would definitely reassure them that you think they sing beautifully, ahem lol, but you wish you could enjoy it better if it was a little quieter. This is to not put the child down to make them think they are good at what they clearly enjoy doing. They'll find out when they are older, by peers, if they stink at it or not lol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that works for children of that age and even a little younger or older is distraction as a behavior changing method. When children do not respond to other forms of discipline, the distraction technique tends to work very well.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When the child is doing something inappropriate as far as you're concerned, divert or distract his attention to something else, in this case, an interesting quieter game or activity and enjoy it with him.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try games that require thought such as the game memory, where you actually have to be quiet to think of where the matching pieces are. Or any other thinking games.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Make sure when offering your diversion/distraction, you make it sound fun and appealing with enthusiasm so they get excited to join in. Other games that require some quiet thought, are building games such as legos, building blocks because they have to focus on what pieces go where, what pieces fit together, how to create a structure of some sort.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Thinking games are great that way. Praise them for using their indoor voices of course while playing nicely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, reading is a great way for you both to sit and enjoy , hopefully semi quiet time, depending on the book. Picture books also if he isn't reading yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One key thing to remember is to catch them &quot;being good&quot; or doing the behavior that you'd like them to do. When he is absorbed in a thinking game, for example, try saying, &quot;I love how you are using your indoor voice while playing this game!&quot; , cause chances are they aren't going to be silent lol. There will still be chatter. Remind them that during these sorts of activities that they need to lower their voices in order to focus and concentrate to play the game, activity, etc correctly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there is nothing wrong with asking if they'd like to sit and watch a favorite movie or t.v. show to take their minds off the singing for a while. There are some great dvd's out that help relax children as they are watching. Also, dvd's that teach children about indoor and outdoor voices. Barney was always my sons fave, that's how we got him into the indoor voices. Play a whispering game and see who can be quiet or whisper the longest and maybe have a reward for the winner.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Drawing is also usually a quiet activity as well as coloring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you find some of this helpful and good luck. He may be the next American Idol someday :) As always, positive reinforcement works better than negative attention. Catch him listening to what you ask him to do. Take Care!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4219" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-01T20:19:07.717" LastActivityDate="2013-05-01T20:19:07.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7911" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-22T01:23:49.867" Score="10" ViewCount="4955" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am at a loss as to what to do with my seven-year-old son. He constantly uses bad words. Occasionally, he uses curse words but mostly it is words like &quot;dumb,&quot; &quot;idiot,&quot; &quot;stupid,&quot; etc. He says the words when he is mad &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; when he is bored...there is really no rhyme or reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first I thought he was getting them from television shows and/or movies, since they even say these words in G rated movies. I have restricted viewing of any of these types of shows and/or movies, but this still continues.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried soap in the mouth, spanking, time-out, taking things (like the Wii and DSi) away, paying quarters for each bad word said, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old son does not use these words and he will tell his brother to stop. They both recognize that they are bad words. One chooses to use them and the other does not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What should I do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3598" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-07T19:36:50.573" LastActivityDate="2018-05-07T19:36:50.573" Title="How do I make my 7-year-old son stop using bad language?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7912" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-22T09:12:13.573" Score="0" ViewCount="89" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pls suggest some toys and strategies that have worked for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4222" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T10:22:29.520" Title="How to keep a 2 year old entertained in the car on long road trips?" Tags="|toddler|travel|toys|entertainment|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2013-04-23T06:25:36.310" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2013-04-22T09:42:05.110" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the child is afraid of suffocation or rather a blocking of air by the water. She goes into panic mode in different positions because she doesn't have any control over the amount of water you are going to pour on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you ever experienced gasping for air when too much water falls on your head? That is a panic moment. I experience it even now (at 28 years old) whenever I pour excess water on my head. As a small child, from one of her past experiences, she is afraid about water blocking her breathing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest to rub the water down her nose as soon as you have poured water on her head so that her nose is cleared. And please make sure to pour little amounts of water in one go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1918" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T09:42:05.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2347" CreationDate="2013-04-22T10:05:24.293" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots and lots of snacks, preferably things they can pick out and eat themselves like trail mix type things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bag or basket of new (to them) dollar store toys / stocking stuffer type things. Depending on the child you can either give them the whole bag themselves to explore, or produce things one at a time as necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stickers / sticker books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games: I-Spy, 20 questions, I went shopping and I bought... etc. Some of these might be beyond them at 2, it depends very much on the child in question, and whether they are only-just-2 or nearly-almost-3! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Making this community wiki so anyone can add more ideas, since it's a list rather than a single answer)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T10:05:24.293" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2013-04-22T10:05:24.293" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2347" CreationDate="2013-04-22T10:22:29.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ive found a small, cheap, headrest-attached DVD player to work wonders for 2-4 year olds to be a great way for them to pass long car journeys (regularly do 4-5hr drives with mine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2302" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T10:22:29.520" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7911" CreationDate="2013-04-22T12:09:04.483" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given his age he probably spends a fair amount of time in a school bus and with peers in school. These situations are rich sources of interesting vocabulary and he will actually need some of this just to keep up.&#xA;That is perfectly normal at this age, and there is nothing you can do to totally prevent him from using this kind of words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house we set clear rules about what language is acceptable, when other family members are around. The consequence was always &quot;I don't want to hear these words. If you feel you must use them please do so in the privacy of your bedroom&quot;. In other words: time out until your done swearing. This is done quickly and without any further discussion or big drama. The first few times they went happily to their rooms and swore up a blue streak (which OF COURSE they know how to do) but after a while that gets boring and loses the &quot;forbidden fruit&quot; allure, so they stopped and went back to normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I feel spanking and soap in mouth are gross overreactions. You are physically manhandling the child for something that all of his peers and 95% of all adults are doing on a regular basis (which he certainly knows). Many kids want attention, even negative attention. By making a big deal out of this, you actually give him what he wants and encourage the bad behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastEditorUserId="3527" LastEditDate="2013-04-22T14:01:50.367" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T14:01:50.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7911" CreationDate="2013-04-22T14:01:59.013" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7-year-old daughter, she's started to pick up some rough language as well. There is no way we can prevent kids from learning bad language. Instead of focusing on some words as bad and others good, our approach is to focus on behavior. Saying a word isn't bad. But using it to hurt someone is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if my daughter &lt;strong&gt;says&lt;/strong&gt; idiot out of context, I let it go. Sometimes with a soft reminder that she shouldn't ever call someone an idiot. If she &lt;strong&gt;calls&lt;/strong&gt; someone an idiot (pretty rare) then she will get in big trouble for treating another person badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found that kids don't really get (or care about) the bad words argument, but they for sure understand the need to treat people nicely. So with this approach instead of trying to enforce a double standard (some words are ok for adults but not kids) you can teach a valuable lesson &quot;words can hurt - we don't treat people that way&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your son &quot;says the words when he is mad AND when he is bored&quot; sounds like he's not hurting anyone - it's a pretty sure sign that he is doing it specifically to get your attention. So when you step back it's kinda nice that he still wants attention (not a teenager yet) but of course you don't want to encourage the language. Suggest using the occasion to give him some positive attention - talk about how those words can hurt people, how you trust him to treat people well, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4223" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T14:01:59.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2924" CreationDate="2013-04-22T16:28:51.853" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;3 kids and 3 DVD players later, I'd say if you value it, lift it up high! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my eldest discovered the DVD drawer, he would not rest until he'd yanked that sucker right out. The next, a slot loader was rapidly filled with pennies by the middle child. The last was more complex, a DVD was rubbed down with some kind of jam by my youngest and forced into the drive. additional DVDs were then forcibly inserted until the whole thing ground to a sticky halt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get me stared on the in car CD player, we've learned to live with rattles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution? Netflix and Spotify.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T16:28:51.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7890" CreationDate="2013-04-22T19:24:21.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rule of thumb, 1 min for each year of age. We sit them on the stairs. Then briefly explain and reflect at the end of the period, followed by a hug. We do escalate to removing the very limited pre-teatime TV they sometimes watch. Tickets seems awfully complicated to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;edit&lt;/em&gt; I just saw a previous answer with a reference to our approach. Dare I say it I think I saw that on Supernanny as well at some point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2070" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T19:24:21.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7902" CreationDate="2013-04-22T19:32:45.380" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have said, you're kinda between a rock and a hard place here.  Timeouts are good, ignoring is great, and yes tantrums do eat a bit of your soul because it can be painful to see your child in such distress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried looking for triggers?  You mention electronic media; our soon-to-be 5-yr-old used to have regular 'time for bath' tantrums because it meant no more media.  So we instituted a no-media-after-x-o'clock rule, with the time being about an hour before bath.  This gave her a chance to settle herself down with coloring or reading or something a bit quieter.  We also pretty much cut out the iPad completely, from ages 3 to about 4.5.  We're SLOWLY reinstituting time with it, mainly because they use iPads in her magnet school and we're working with some of the programs now.  But we ration time on the iPad out in a rather stingy manner, and it still is part of the media-free zone.  We noticed an improvement right out of the gate, both with bath and bed time, when the media was shut off.  We also tried to improve bathtime by letting them pick bubbles and toys, and spending more time in there just fooling around post-wash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also had luck with eliminating dietary triggers. Sugar is turns the older one into a demon, bless her little heart, so candy is OUT.  That was one we had to test a few times, to make sure we were getting the right items removed (a diary with foods consumed and tantrum commencement times helped greatly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there's a definite correlation in our house between growth spurts and tantrums.  Boy is there ever!  When she starts to eat us out of house and home, we tighten down on the other triggers, make sure she gets plenty of running around inside and out, and batten down our own emotional hatches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just can't WAIT until the younger one hits these times.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T19:32:45.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2924" CreationDate="2013-04-22T22:34:21.647" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only child proofing we did was disable the power sockets in the hall and keep the knives in a high drawer. This was for a very good reason - we wanted to be able to take our children anywhere and not worry about them breaking something or hurting themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we watched out for them in the early days, and then educated them. So they never posted food into a CD player or pulled a cable or burned themselves on a fire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may seem like high effort but it is actually much less effort in the long run, and leaves you with kids that are safer everywhere. Don't hide things away from them - teach them what is dangerous and what is safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-04-22T22:34:21.647" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7911" CreationDate="2013-04-23T19:05:32.973" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about giving your other child a reward for NOT using bad language and tell your 7 year old that the same rewards are available to him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1821" LastActivityDate="2013-04-23T19:05:32.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2659" CreationDate="2013-04-24T00:47:35.030" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If someone is ADHD it can be a challenge.  It isn't because they 'forget' or cannot remember.  However if the wrong approach is taken by the parent IE, negative feedback vs positive feedback, the chances of having success is slim.  The reward system is the best approach. Negative feedback and hurt relationships, especially if the child already understand the benefits to turning off the light&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally now at 30 years old I still have trouble always turning off the light.  It was a challenge for my mother while growing up to constantly remind me, but now it drives my wife nuts sadly...  I am good about 80% of the time, but if i am interrupted or in a hurry to leave a room I don't even 'think' to turn off the light.  Negative feedback from my wife would lead to a divorce, so I am trying to get her to just write down the number of times a day I forget, and reward me for improving.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4227" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-04-26T06:51:58.480" LastActivityDate="2013-04-26T06:51:58.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7925" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-24T08:40:39.630" Score="2" ViewCount="1307" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is just starting to make a few words, and enjoys songs a lot. I feel that teaching him the letters in hindi/kannada (which we speak at home along with english ) will help him learn the sounds more easily, as the phonics are more orderly than in english. does anyone know and rhymes in either language (like a-b-c-d) to help teach him this ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, and thoughts on my idea are welcome!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4230" LastActivityDate="2013-04-29T07:07:18.897" Title="Songs for teaching hindi/kannada phonics?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7902" CreationDate="2013-04-24T09:27:12.537" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is 3½ now too, and this behaviour is all-too-familiar for us too- I have every sympathy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're currently trying to &lt;em&gt;sit-out&lt;/em&gt; the tantrums- I can totally understand why that is so emotional for you both. Plus, when it comes to bed-times, by &lt;em&gt;sitting it out&lt;/em&gt; you're effectively giving in to his demand to stay up longer. I agree something needs to be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several techniques I know of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Distraction&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; can work sometimes, but for things like bedtime it's nigh-on-impossible. Basically there's no disguising the fact he's got to stop what he's doing and go to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our experience, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;reasoning&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; won't help stop tantrums at this age (e.g. &quot;You need to go to bed because you need to sleep to stop you being tired in the morning.&quot;). But I still think it's worth saying- if he understands, it might sink in at some level and make a tantrum less likely next time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could always resort to &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;discipline&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, using the infamous &quot;naughty step&quot; or such-like, since tantrums are definitely &lt;em&gt;naughty&lt;/em&gt; behaviour. But personally I would see that as a last resort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our son, he's now at an age where &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;positive encouragement (a.k.a. &quot;bargaining&quot;)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; works. (e.g. &quot;If you come up to bed now, you can have &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; stories&quot;.) Of course you can only bend so far- don't bargain using anything you aren't actually prepared to do or is unreasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But obviously &lt;strong&gt;all kids are different&lt;/strong&gt;, so what works for one may not work for another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All I can say is that it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; very tough. But you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; need to be firm. Kids like to test our limits, and see what they can get away with. But also, deep-down they love rules- they make them feel safe and help them put the world in order. When you're being firm, you're really being loving. Even when it doesn't feel like it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastActivityDate="2013-04-24T09:27:12.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7883" CreationDate="2013-04-24T12:29:07.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We only put our daughter into a backpack carrier at a year old for the reason you mention - not being able to hold her head up well when bounced around and also being a bit small for one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before that we used the Baby Bjorn front carrier, which she still fits at 13 months. It's pricey, but very comfortable for parent and child and really easy to use. Obviously cooking and hot drinks are a no-no when using this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/bCT0y.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A small baby can face their parent and have their head supported. You can keep a close eye on them and hear/feel their breathing. When they get a little older and can support their own head, you fold the front down and they can see where they're going (our daughter loves this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do a certain amount of non-dangerous housework in this situation. I've done the vacuuming with our daughter. It's hard work and you have to be careful, but she seems to like it better than being left alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A cheaper option that is good from newborn is the BabaSling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/JnvSR.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a bit more fiddly to use, especially if you intend to lean over or do any housework, but if you're careful it can work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many other similar options to those described above, so look around. Some particularly skillful people fold a special shawl around themselves and their baby making a really cosy carrier. I wouldn't be confident enough that I could make it safe, so I prefer the idiot-proof options above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2013-04-24T12:29:07.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7928" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7931" CreationDate="2013-04-24T13:04:36.937" Score="4" ViewCount="321" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-and-a-half year old seems to be fond of shows that I would have expected to be too scary for someone his age.  He loves to watch &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goosebumps_%28TV_series%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;R.L. Stine's &lt;em&gt;Goosebumps&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; (he was introduced to it at daycare by some of the older children), and gleefully watches some rather rough scenes of predation on nature shows and short youtube clips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not once has he ever showed signs of nightmares from watching this sort of stuff (although we try to keep viewing restricted to at least several hours before bedtime).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there clearly is a line for him, and he seems fully aware of it.  There have been some things we've watched where he says it is too scary, and asks to watch something different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd rather not expose him to stuff that he considers too scary, even if he is good about telling me if something is too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since that line between &quot;fun scary&quot; and &quot;too scary&quot; varies wildly from child to child (we have a 4 year old cousin, for example, who finds the music from &lt;em&gt;Thomas and Friends&lt;/em&gt; too scary), how do you identify where the line is for a particular child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just because we haven't had problems with nightmares yet doesn't mean it can't become an issue.  I'd like to &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there cues that can be used that don't rely on the child saying &quot;this is too much&quot;?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-04-24T20:21:36.807" Title="How do you gauge if a show, movie or story may be too frightening for your child?" Tags="|television|books|fears|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7929" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-24T14:20:00.783" Score="5" ViewCount="34794" Body="&lt;p&gt;My step son is 6 years old, he is a very good boy but he isn't doing good when it comes to following directions. He gives up so easy and beat himself up for things that he fails at. For example in his class, the teacher put him at a table away from other kids because he talks to other kids and distract them, and when the teacher asks him to stop, he stops for a min and then continues again. He also used to pull cards all the time, and the teacher said that when he pulls a card, he looks at other kids and kind of smile like it's nothing serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically he can't listen, he needs to be told over and over to do something. Like we have to tell him zip your jacket 5 times before he does it. he interrupt people all the time, he gets very impatient with things that need to be done with focus and time. He plays computer games all the time and when we take it away, he throws feet because he can't be entertained. He expects to be entertained all the time, when we ask him to sit with us and have quiet time, he acts uncomfortable and complains that he is bored and he wants us to play with him. So that's all I have to say. I am one of the people that can control him very well. He listens to me more than anyone else, and he tends to take orders from me better. So that makes me realized he is capable of doing good but only with me. How can we get him to do his best with everyone ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4231" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2013-04-24T20:22:41.517" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T21:56:04.777" Title="Our 6 years old son doesn't follow instructions very well, bad listening skills, I need help" Tags="|discipline|step-parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5846" CreationDate="2013-04-24T16:37:27.823" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 2 kids, one is 6 the other is 3.  Both have tried to do what you are describing at various stages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Setup a night routine. Bath/Book/Songs...  whatever you want, just be consistent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you want to stay with him for 2-5 minutes as a part of the routine, that's ok.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the time is up, leave.  Yes he will cry,  if he's still crying after 10 minutes, go in, kiss him, reassure him and then leave again (do not spend more then 1-2 minutes in his room).   If he cry's for another 20 minutes, go in again.  Then wait 30 minutes before rinsing and repeating.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He needs to understand that when your not in his room, you're still around and will be there for him if he needs it.  This technique will be hard for the first week or so.  It was with my kids, but it will get you out of the room faster and teach your kids to go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The night routine is key.  Children of that age are really good at knowing what's next when there's a pattern to follow.  If they are getting the same activities in the same order every night, you're preparing them to go to sleep.  They know it's coming next, and they will accept it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this info helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4232" LastActivityDate="2013-04-24T16:37:27.823" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7928" CreationDate="2013-04-24T20:21:36.807" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I watch with my kids sitting in my lap.  When it's too scary, they shiver and get extremely tense.  So far, we haven't had any issues if we stop after the first scene with that reaction.  After a few times, we pretty much know their limits beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there's something to be said for making them face their fears every once in a while, especially the irrational ones.  Movie violence and horror is one thing, the &lt;em&gt;Thomas&lt;/em&gt; theme song is another.  Something like that, I would hold him and show him by example that there's nothing to be afraid of.  Our son was deathly afraid of the vacuum cleaner.  When he was two or three we indulged him, but when he got to be four and five we made him deal with it.  He just turned six, and is still wary of the vacuum, but at least doesn't burst into tears and run away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-24T20:21:36.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7932" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-24T20:29:16.033" Score="2" ViewCount="12024" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have triplets and my bigger one has slowly been taking less and less and now the other two have surpassed him. His weight curve has also slowed down but nothing to be concerned about according to our pediatrician. I am bottle feeding. To put it in perspective - my other two have been eating on average 1100ml/day and this one is eating 980ml/day. This may seem like a lot but over time this is a considerably lower amount of calories. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am just wondering if anyone else had a superstar eater turn into a ho-hum eater? Any suggestions? Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4233" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-04-26T06:52:51.640" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T06:07:01.147" Title="5.5. month old not eating as well anymore" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="99" CreationDate="2013-04-24T22:01:38.853" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had the same issues with my 5 year old son in 2012.&#xA;The school reported 2 different occasions of biting in one week. We did lots of feelings work with him as he said he was really angry both times he did it. We tried explaining why he shouldnt bite other children and he got it, he knew it was wrong. Then the following week squabling with his younger brother over a small toy, after he'd won the toy of him he did it in front of me just sunk his teeth into his leg then came running to me to complain his teeth hurt, he didnt give one thought to the fact his brothers leg was nearly bleeding. I made him sit in the thinking chair while he watched me tend to his crying brothers leg explaining all the time this is what biting does, then i told him he was going to bed early and carried him to bed, I explained I was going to bite him so he knew how it felt for the two boys at school and his brother when he bit them he gave me his arm and I bit it. He cried because it hurt then he cried himself to sleep, I felt really rotten as we dont even spank our children, but he has never bitten anyone again since its over a year later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4236" LastActivityDate="2013-04-24T22:01:38.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7889" CreationDate="2013-04-25T00:17:09.217" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have searched numerous databases and am finding no studies directly addressing this. I did find that there are links from secondhand smoke to respiratory issues and also increased infections (reduced immunity) in small children - so I would consider either of those as signs to be concerned. In the absence of such symptoms, I would say you are probably doing well by keeping the smoke away as much as you are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the smoke is not having any health effects, then the question of whether to move is a separate discussion. You may end up trading one problem for another that is worse, so it becomes a question of evaluating your alternatives. Though there are negatives making you want to move, there may also be positives that make you want to stay where you are at, like a short work commute, family living close by, cost, convenience of area assets (park, library, shops), and safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-25T00:17:09.217" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7937" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-25T06:21:40.323" Score="3" ViewCount="1537" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 15 month old daughter who slept great when she was 3 and 4 months old, but never again after that. She's never had a pacifier and she has her own crib, but it's in our room. Our current living conditions prevented me from teaching her good sleeping habits. Me, my husband, my four year old daughter, and the baby all sleep in one room together. I tried letting her cry it out, but all the noise gets my other daughter up and it's harder that way. I tried a soother but she always rejected it. I tried a comfort toy but that didn't work as well. She weighs 21 lbs but we still rock her in our arms because that's the only way she'll fall asleep. She wakes up every hour or two, sometimes even every half an hour, expecting to be rocked again. And we do, otherwise she screams violently and then wake the other one up. My husband and I go to work at 5am and sometimes I go with very little or no sleep, and it's very disruptive to our lives. I realize that these problems are all my fault but I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Help please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4240" LastEditorUserId="14" LastEditDate="2013-04-30T02:26:37.347" LastActivityDate="2017-09-11T08:48:32.413" Title="15 month baby never sleeps through the night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7925" CreationDate="2013-04-25T11:56:39.230" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From 0 to now, your baby has been listening to the sounds of the language. Quantity is more important than quality-- that seems to be the consensus for the writers of the English, Tagalog and Russian nursery rhyme authors that we read to our baby. Sometimes I go through the alphabet or a list of words and just put them in any sentence that comes to mind first.  Buying books abroad or sometimes even finding them online is harder than I thought it would be-- so I have to just generate my own content &amp;amp; that would be my advice to you. (And if you really want authentic Kannada nursery rhymes, you might track down a mailing list or forum where most of the audience speaks Kannada)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In 4 months (at about 18 months) is the time you really want to be ready-- this is the beginning of the so-called fast mapping, where children appear to learn words after hearing it just once. From adult second language learning studies, the biggest factor in language learning success is shear vocabulary-- its is more important than any other subskill, during the fast mapping months, you will want to introduce as many words as possible, preferably in a way where the child can infer what it means by environmental clues-- they can see what you are looking at &amp;amp; see what thing or action you are talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and if the question is really about how to introduce pre-reading skills (you are asking about the alphabet, which is a tool of reading-- one can learn a language quite fine as a total illiterate-- It's pretty much universal). I've read various advice on reading books to children-- point out the words as you read-- it's a major advance for kinds to realize that the text is something that can be read. Some kids by observation alone learn what is text (but can't read), and more rarely learn to read a few words by sight (i.e. not phonetically, that's harder). And watching parents turn pages, hold books open, how to orient a book, etc, establishes it as a normal activity.  Another thing that turns out to be difficult for babies initially is interpreting the 2 dimensional pictures as things-- clearly everyone eventually grasps the idea, but its a skill that needs to be learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-04-25T11:56:39.230" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7937" CreationDate="2013-04-25T13:38:31.527" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children associate things with sleep, with my daughter it was drinking milk.  It took a couple of nights of letting her pitch a fit before she unlearned the association.  My daughter is 2 1/2, and it took us 2-3 nights.  It might be a little more difficult with a 15-month-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I see it is that you have a couple of options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start transitioning your older daughter to her own room.  I realize this might not be possible depending on your housing situation, but it's a piece of the puzzle that might make things easier and allow you to sleep train your younger daughter in whatever way you feel is appropriate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sleep train your younger daughter anyway and accept that &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt; is going to be tired and cranky for about a week until she gets sleep trained.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what you choose, both options are going to lead to &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; sleepless nights before they lead to fewer.  If you go with option one, you will probably battle the 4-year-old getting out of her bed and wanting to come get into bed with you for a few nights and then &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; that you still have to sleep train your younger daughter.  On the plus side, once she got accustomed to sleeping in her own room she wouldn't be disturbed by your other daughter crying in the middle of the night while you sleep train her.  For me, having a non-cranky four-year-old might make it worth the effort.  With option 2, you cut down on the amount of time you personally are going to lose sleep (most kids I know that respond to CIO are sleeping better by the end of about a week), but everyone in the house is going to be pretty miserable--including your 4-year-old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you choose to do, both you and your husband are going to have to be on board because you're going to have to work together to do get it done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to you!  It's so tough, but it will get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-04-25T13:38:31.527" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7835" CreationDate="2013-04-25T18:29:38.980" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/25/win.stubborn.child/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;em&gt;Parenting&lt;/em&gt; magazine gives a number of strategies for dealing with stubborn kids. It suggests addressing behaviors from side-on rather than directly - the article refers to it as being &quot;sneaky,&quot; but I would say it is clever, in that the approach helps stand-offs to move forward rather than becoming battles, and it respects the fact that children feel powerless and need a sense of control while also needing to know that ultimately you are in charge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples/suggestions from the article that might help you in this situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play the &quot;yes&quot; game - ask several questions in a row that the child will answer yes to - it may put herin a more agreeable state of mind.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer options, as in two things to choose from that are both acceptable to you: &quot;It's too dark for the park now, but would you like to go tomorrow morning or tomorrow for lunch?&quot; &quot;Grandma can't play. Would you like to play Lego with me or would you like to build something by yourself and surprise me?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be a broken record. State your answer to a request in as few words as possible, and each time the request is made, use the same basic words delivered kindly. They will tire of it eventually. &quot;We're not playing in the rain today.&quot; &quot;Sorry, we're not playing in the rain today.&quot; &quot;It's too rainy to play outside today.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Play calming music.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are using time outs, treat repeated requests as misbehaviors. &quot;I already answered that question. That's one.&quot; Child repeats request. &quot;I already answered that question. That's two.&quot; Child repeats request. &quot;That's three. Time out.&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Connect through related questions/conversation that address the desire without fulfilling it, leading the conversation in a new direction. For the broken/discarded toy: &quot;That was a fun toy. Do you remember the day that your friend Joanna came over and you played with it together?...We haven't had Joanna over for a while. Should we invite her over to play? Do you want to call her on the phone now, or shall we call her after your bath?&quot; Or wanting to go outside at night: &quot;Playing out in the dark would be fun and scary. It would sort of be like camping. Hey, want to build a tent in your room? I'll help you get started!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-25T18:29:38.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7929" CreationDate="2013-04-25T23:05:43.007" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The behaviour you have described is similar to my son's (now 5 y/o) at his worst. At his best, he is an obedient, intelligent child with good concentration skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a mild sensory processing disorder. He is fine in a quiet environment. When things get too loud, his senses get overloaded and he cannot filter the din. This makes him agitated, easily distracted, sensory seeking and unable to even listen to a teacher, let alone concentrate in class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His teacher (and principal) largely wrote him off as having a learning disability within a few weeks of starting school. With his treatment in place (largely consists of an exercise regime), he is now progressing well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many flavours of sensory processing disorder, all with different effects and different treatments. It might be worth checking out a few sites like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.spdaustralia.com.au&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for self playing – both our kids suck at it. We limit our son’s video game access as they get him too obsessed and worked up. Instead, we found he will become engrossed in Lego play with a bit of encouragement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-04-25T23:05:43.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7932" CreationDate="2013-04-26T00:29:46.173" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's some helpful information from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/531135-why-is-my-baby-not-eating-as-much-as-normal/#ixzz2RWaRLkVm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Livestrong Foundation&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Causes of Slowed Appetite&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby's suddenly eating less but seems to still be healthy and&#xA;interested in eating, he’s likely just going through a healthy slow&#xA;phase. In a baby 4 to 7 months old, eating less can also indicate he’s&#xA;beginning teething. If you think his teeth are coming in, give him a&#xA;cold washcloth to chew on and ask his doctor if you can give him a&#xA;pain reliever. In some cases, his eating less could indicate a larger&#xA;medical problem. Consult a pediatrician if you suspect something's&#xA;wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Signs Your Baby is Healthy&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby's change in hunger could be a normal and healthy thing. Pay&#xA;attention to how many diapers you’re changing. A baby who’s getting&#xA;enough nourishment should wet five to six diapers and have at least&#xA;one bowel movement a day. She should seem relaxed and content after&#xA;each feeding. Your baby's skin should be smooth and unwrinkled and her&#xA;face should be rounded by her third week of life. If you’re&#xA;breastfeeding, your breasts should feel softer after a feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Signs&#xA;of a Problem&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby who is not getting enough daily nourishment will not urinate as&#xA;frequently, and his urine may be dark yellow or orange. He may only&#xA;pass bowel movements once every few days and they may be hard and dry.&#xA;If he seems fussy after eating or expresses no interest in eating,&#xA;this may also indicate a problem. Your baby’s weight is one of the&#xA;surest ways to track whether he’s eating enough. A healthy baby should&#xA;steadily gain weight after his first day of life. If he’s not gaining&#xA;-- or is losing -- weight, visit his pediatrician immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-04-26T00:29:46.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7880" CreationDate="2013-04-26T02:48:53.977" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize this is highly subjective and only a single anecdote regarding language skills but...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We let both our children watch animated movies from a rather early age while a friend of ours was very strict with limiting their kids' screen time. We regularly gets comments on how well our children are developed verbally while our friends kids can barely be understood well into an age that they should be. I've also never been a parent to use much baby talk with our kids. I let a few cute things slide past now and then but for the most part I speak to my kids using proper language and I think that has helped them develop better language skills faster. I believe that having the language skills early on will naturally encourage learning since they'll be able to absorb what's going on around them because they understand it  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3793" LastActivityDate="2013-04-26T02:48:53.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7947" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7949" CreationDate="2013-04-26T15:43:30.990" Score="9" ViewCount="17889" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see that my six-month-old is getting to be a dangerous guy and we're going to start baby-proofing.  Eight-year-olds typically don't need baby-proofing, though, so there's a light at the end of this tunnel.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age (of my youngest child) should I expect to be able to return my house to &quot;normal&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3376" LastActivityDate="2020-10-02T14:33:11.827" Title="When can I stop baby-proofing the house?" Tags="|toddler|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7947" CreationDate="2013-04-26T15:59:08.637" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my son we did minimal baby proofing in the first place. The extent of what we did: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;medicines and cleaning products were kept up in high cabinets (which&#xA;they were anyway, but we just took care not to leave them out / in&#xA;reach)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we put a stair gate at the top of the stairs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we had a cupboard door lock on the large pantry-style food cupboard in the kitchen. In hindsight I would not have bothered with this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we had those little plug socket blocker things. In hindsight I would not have done this because I've now found out that (with UK sockets at least) they can actually make the socket MORE dangerous.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was 3 we moved house and we didn't bother with any baby proofing at all in the new house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now 16 months and we've followed the same principles - minimal changes to the house. I would far rather teach her not to touch certain things so that if I forget to latch the cabinet lock or we visit someone else's non-baby-proofed house, it's not a problem. Again the stair gate is the only significant baby proofing, and we'll take that down once she's reliable going down the stairs forwards on her own, some where between 2 and 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only other thing I would baby proof if I had it would be a pond or swimming pool, in which case I would keep the protection up for a bit longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-04-26T15:59:08.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7947" CreationDate="2013-04-26T16:56:53.553" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You child proof all at once, but you unproof in stages, depending on the item:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;stair gate&lt;/strong&gt; when they can safely navigate the stairs consistently.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;small choking hazards&lt;/strong&gt; when they stop putting everything into their mouth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;sharp furniture corners&lt;/strong&gt; probably never in an active play room.  In the rest of the house, when they can walk consistently without falling down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;heavy furniture anchored to the wall&lt;/strong&gt; when they are strong enough to push it off themselves if it falls on them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;medicine&lt;/strong&gt; When they've consistently demonstrated the proper use and dosage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;abusable medicine (narcotic painkillers, etc.)&lt;/strong&gt; probably never.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;pool&lt;/strong&gt; when they are consistent strong swimmers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;knives&lt;/strong&gt; when they've shown they can be safe while helping you cook.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;matches&lt;/strong&gt; when they've consistently demonstrated proper fire safety.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;power tools&lt;/strong&gt; when they've consistently demonstrated proper safety procedures.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;guns&lt;/strong&gt; probably never.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your stuff you don't want them to ruin&lt;/strong&gt; so far as I can tell, probably never :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can see a lot depends on the maturity of the child.  Most of the visible gates and locks go away around age two or three.  Also, the age you can trust them to stay away from something is sometimes lower than the age you can trust them to use something unsupervised.  For example, we keep our kitchen knives out on the counter, but the kids (age six and three) don't try to get into them.  They will move heaven and earth to get into candy, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-04-26T16:56:53.553" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7950" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-26T19:36:18.620" Score="4" ViewCount="312" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a three year old boy. At home we speak our native language to him and in nursery he speaks English. He seems to have very good understanding of what we say in our native language and reasonable understanding of what is spoken to him in English. He says first syllables of quite a few words in both languages, but does not form sentences of more than two &quot;words&quot;, e.g. &quot;no ka&quot; would mean there's no car or the equivalent of &quot;little dog&quot;, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As his play becomes more complicated, he wants to explain the rules and he can't and it makes him very frustrated. There are a lot of answers on this site and elsewhere saying &quot;don't worry up to age of 2&quot;, but he's about 3 and I worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything we can do to speed it up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2940" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T06:32:23.303" LastActivityDate="2013-06-13T22:13:54.697" Title="How to encourage speech development" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7950" CreationDate="2013-04-27T13:45:44.833" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When an adult doesn't know a word in a foreign language, they will resort to complicated sentences that have lots of subordinate clauses (i.e. that thing I used to eat cereal with). That would be way out of the range of a kid in the 2 word sentence phase.  So he's looking for the right pair of words to express himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read that vocab acquisition is less magical than it seems-- the kids benefit from people making an effort to illustrate a word (visually &amp;amp; in action). When they learn a word just from immersion they have to solve a lot of problems, like where one word stops and where the next starts, of all the things in the environment that it could mean, what does it mean, and how broad is the meaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also read that when a kid uses two different languages in two domains, he can end up with disjoint vocabulary, i.e. he knows desk, chalkboard, playground in English, but not in Spanish. So parents would have to either tolerate language mixing when the topic switches to one of those domains or give special attention to talking about those sort of things at home as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, the bit about being 3.  There is a universal (in the US) rush to attribute any language difficulties to bilingualism-- mostly its xenophobia.  There are challenges in bilingualism, but this actually isn't a real problem-- (not getting enough exposure to one language of the other is the huge problem, things like language mixing turns out to be a nonissue)  On the other hand, it is possible for a child to by crazy chance to have a developmental problem and be in a bilingual household.  &quot;Raising a Bilingual Baby&quot; by Pearson has a good chapter on detecting children who happen to have a developmental issue and happen to be in a bilingual home (one doesn't cause the other)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ref: Raising a Bilingual Baby &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1400023343&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Bilingual-Living-Language-Series/dp/1400023343/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1367069814&amp;amp;sr=8-1&amp;amp;keywords=bilingual+raising&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-04-27T13:45:44.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7880" CreationDate="2013-04-27T13:56:32.557" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I pretty much agree with everyone elses answer (screen at the youngest ages is a waste of valuable awake time) I read the well research &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001KOTUE2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Screen Time&lt;/a&gt;&quot; expecting the conventional message and found a balanced conclusion that TV that is age inappropriate is really bad, but TV that is age appropriate is at least not bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the youngest ages, pretty much only Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer are age appropriate. (At younger than that, you are just using the flashing lights to hypnotize them so you can set them down and do something that requires two hands-- this is esp true for the Baby Einstein)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what counts at age appropriate can be surprising. I used this website to re-callibrate what I thought was age-appropriate- &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.commonsensemedia.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.commonsensemedia.org/&lt;/a&gt;  Previously I consistently underestimated the age at which something become age appropriate.  It's a pity my son will have to wait so long to see his first Sci-Fi movie. (8 and 9+ for things like Lost in Space, The Black Hole or Star Wars)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ref: &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001KOTUE2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Into-Minds-Babes-Affects-Children/dp/B001KOTUE2/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1367070572&amp;amp;sr=1-1&amp;amp;keywords=screentime&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-04-27T13:56:32.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7950" CreationDate="2013-04-27T19:45:46.777" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your son is otherwise progressing well in his development (that &quot;his play becomes more complicated&quot; and &quot;he wants to explain the rules&quot; is an indication of that), I would not worry (and would certainly not start hectic manouevres to speed up his linguistic development). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't feel qualified to judge his general development, don't hesitate to talk to a pediatrician (or two). They will most likely be able to reassure you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, your son's frustration at not being able to express what is on his mind is an indication that he feels the need to learn and will do so (at his own pace).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A further reassuring aspect is that you say he seems to understand language just fine, which is a great achievement at this age when two languages are involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being exposed to two languages does slow down linguistic development in the individual languages. For all the talk about children learning languages effortlessly, coping with two languages instead of one does take a lot more resources, it's not like the effort is the same. So give him time and he will get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our three children have all had their own pace in acquiring language. At an age when one of them recited poems, the other was still struggling with stringing two words together. It's normal for children to develop at different speeds in different aspects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3464" LastActivityDate="2013-04-27T19:45:46.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7902" CreationDate="2013-04-27T20:05:59.050" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just one idea to add to the host of sensible advice above. With our own tantrum-prone 3.5-year-old, it is surprising how often (not always) it helps to set an egg timer for him, at the sound of which he is expected to come along on his own - be it to tooth-brushing, bathing or something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may have something to do with feeling more in control and grown-up by reacting to the timer and coming along on his own, rather than obeying our call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3464" LastActivityDate="2013-04-27T20:05:59.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2013-04-28T16:45:25.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our little one always pushed out her pacifier. Eventually we realised that she just didn't want it, and so we've never used one. She's 14 months old now, and we won't have to wean her of it, though comforting her requires a breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-04-28T16:45:25.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7925" CreationDate="2013-04-29T07:07:18.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;thank you for the suggestions! following some of the advice, i changed the words i was using to search for these songs, and found this lovely piece  at : &lt;a href=&quot;http://akshara.niketana.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://akshara.niketana.com/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;It uses a simple tune to go through a aa e ee all the way through the vyanjanas (consonants) also !&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Which was exactly what I was looking for. it has no images, but the song nails it :) . &#xA;  Also, found this video for those interested in Hindi : &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjwAI-QvXRw&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjwAI-QvXRw&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4230" LastActivityDate="2013-04-29T07:07:18.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7958" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7959" CreationDate="2013-04-29T14:11:09.337" Score="9" ViewCount="522" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, 2 and a half, clearly does not grok the concept of waiting for something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he asks for something, and I say &quot;okay, I'll give you &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; right after we finish doing &lt;em&gt;y&lt;/em&gt;&quot;, he'll say okay, and then continue to ask for &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; throughout activity &lt;em&gt;y&lt;/em&gt; (even if it is something incredibly short, such as &quot;I'll hand you your toy as soon as I'm done buckling you in to your car seat&quot;, which will still prompt 2-3 polite additional requests for me to hand him the toy while I'm buckling the seat belt).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, the concept that we're going on vacation &quot;next week&quot; seems to be one that he doesn't understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get that there are cognitive milestones involved here that he simply may not be old enough to have reached, and I'm not complaining or worried.  However, I am curious as to when he'll be able to understand waiting, and what, if anything, I can do to help teach him the concept of patience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T06:23:56.467" Title="How (and when) do you teach a child patience?" Tags="|behavior|teaching|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7958" CreationDate="2013-04-29T15:56:14.280" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something that actually varies from child to child! My daughter is patient and easy-going, and has always dealt fairly well with concepts of time and delayed gratification. My older son, in contrast, has almost no sense of time (he was five before he really figured out &quot;tomorrow&quot; and &quot;yesterday&quot; and &quot;next week&quot; and &quot;in a minute&quot; were not interchangeable) and is &lt;em&gt;terrible&lt;/em&gt; at waiting for things to happen. For whatever reason, he just isn't good at keeping track of time, and that impacts a lot of other aspects of his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best solution I have found for the Impatient Boy is repeat the restriction (&quot;&lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; will happen right after &lt;em&gt;y&lt;/em&gt;&quot;) each time he repeats his request -- ignoring the question doesn't really work, and at least answering him is acknowledging his concern, even if I'm (still) putting off resolving it. If it's a question of a time limit (such as &quot;you can only play that video game for 30 minutes&quot;), then frequent updates on time remaining are helpful. Ironically, dealing with an impatient child is a great way to teach patience to a parent ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is Impatient Boy is slowly getting better as he gets older. As a toddler and preschooler, he was quite impatient and completely oblivious to time. I don't think he'll ever be as patient as his sibling naturally is, but as his cognitive abilities improve, he's better at understanding things and we can have a discussion about why he's so impatient. That's something that isn't realistically possible before a certain age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-04-29T15:56:14.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7960" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8000" CreationDate="2013-04-29T16:32:42.283" Score="6" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our six year old son has difficulty paying attention, so we often quiz him afterward about things he was supposed to be paying attention to.  He has started hemming and hawing for a &lt;em&gt;long&lt;/em&gt; time (like a minute or more), when he doesn't know the answer.  We didn't notice at first because subconsciously it makes us want to give hints or even supply the answer.  We think it is a sort of defense mechanism, and the frequency with which he uses it suggests he also uses it at school, which makes us worry he is not learning as much as he should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how long is it normal to hem and haw at his age?  How can we differentiate between when he is honestly thinking or just stalling?  What are some good strategies to address it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T15:52:48.127" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T15:52:48.127" Title="How to address hemming and hawing?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7961" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-29T16:59:43.190" Score="4" ViewCount="294" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have a 16 week old, and it's definitely a bit early for it to matter, but we were discussing recently how we find the balance between teach/setting a good example of being thorough and taking pride in your work (e.g. cleaning up the kitchen after making dinner) and not letting yourself spend your entire life cleaning the house and not balancing other life needs like going for a hike, reading a book, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do others set a good example of good &quot;life balance&quot; and at the same time teach your kids to be thorough and take pride in things they do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4235" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T13:14:03.033" Title="Teaching responsibility/thoroughness *AND* life balance" Tags="|life-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7961" CreationDate="2013-04-29T23:22:11.767" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;While setting examples for both work ethic and life balance, you should think out loud, because you also need to set the example of how to make decisions that weigh one against the other. Present it not as a lecture, but just a musing on your choices. This works for all sorts of decision-making, like how to spend/save money, how to tell someone something but not hurt their feelings, how to prioritize your chores for the day... Examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I usually clean the kitchen right after dinner, but it is so nice out this evening, I think I will sit out on the deck, and do the dishes in the morning.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;As much as I would like to earn an A on this paper, our family needs a vacation this weekend, so I will just do the best I can in the time I have, and if I don't get an A, that's okay.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I really need to get the bugs cleaned off the car, but I am so tired from a busy week that I think I will pay to have it done at the car wash, and take my lunch to work this week to save money.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-29T23:22:11.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7958" CreationDate="2013-04-29T23:47:33.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first request for the toy was a question, additional requests are attempts to manipulate - your child is trying to control his environment. If he asks the question enough times, he might wear you down. At the very least, he is getting your attention. 2-1/2 is old enough to start behavioral training. After you have told your child that he can have the toy after you buckle him in, then you have several choices:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask him, &quot;When are you getting the toy?&quot; Once he answers, the game is up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ignore him. Or use the broken record phrase &quot;I already answered that.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be a broken record with your original statement. This may wear you out though if the statement was long.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, when the time span is long, there could be memory or time confusion issues involved that require additional repeats of your original statement. If grandma is coming in a week (7 night-nights, then count down the days), you may have to address it a few times per day over the course of the week. If he has 30 minutes to play, count down the last 5, he will come to understand over time that when you get to &quot;one&quot; it's over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you feel yourself exasperated, you are quite possibly out of he-doesn't-really-know-the-answer territory and into he's-pushing-my-limits territory. Time to set limits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-04-29T23:47:33.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7965" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-30T14:35:43.847" Score="7" ViewCount="4185" Body="&lt;p&gt;Will it hurt a one year olds development if the crib is used as a place to play with toys, turn cartoons on and shut the door as a way to keep them from under foot several times a day?  My grandbaby's daddy does this and I don't like it. I never put my babies in their crib unless ut was bedtime or naptime.  This bothers me and worries me at the same time.  Am I wrong to feel this way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4259" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T15:51:48.327" LastActivityDate="2016-05-25T12:05:35.253" Title="Putting a one year old in the crib and shutting door" Tags="|toddler|development|supervision|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7966" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-04-30T19:13:25.227" Score="14" ViewCount="15410" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in relationship with a woman with a 6 year old son. I entered his life when he was 4 and so far we have had a very close relationship. He seems to listen to me, enjoys activities with me, and also he takes orders more from me than his mom. I am not married to this woman yet. I really love her and she is a great woman. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I'm not sure if a step father and step son relationship ever turns out well. All the examples I have heard or seen were awful. Has anyone ever heard of a step son was respectful toward his step father and them getting along with a great relationship?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please tell me if you personally know of any case that turned out well, and how well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4231" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-05-01T17:47:26.370" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T13:15:54.577" Title="Can a Stepfather and Stepson relationship work well?" Tags="|relationships|step-parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7966" CreationDate="2013-04-30T19:34:12.533" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can a step father have a good relationship with a step son?  Absolutely!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know of quite a few step-father/step-son relationships that I would consider to be good ones.  They range from rather cool mutual respect (two brothers I was friends with as a teenager, towards their step-father), to indistinguishable from any biological father/son relationship (several of my friends fathers, and several of my friends who married women with children from previous relationships).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a better relationship with my step father, who married my mother when I was 37, than I do with my biological father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to what you can do to make it work... it sounds like its simply a matter of continuing to do what you've been doing.  You've been introduced to the boy at an age where he's much less likely to harbor resentment towards you, or view you as a &quot;replacement dad&quot;.  You've established a close relationship already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no magical advantage to a biological relationship when it comes to parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step parents... adopted parents... it doesn't matter.  If anything, you've got an advantage because you would be taking the step of becoming a parent not only willingly, but knowing ahead of time what your son will be like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some additional insight, you may want to look through the answers to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/487/420&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-04-30T19:34:12.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7965" CreationDate="2013-04-30T20:49:11.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The real worry for me would be the television. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/Media-and-Children.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; states that &quot;young children learn best by interacting with people, not screens&quot; -- meaning toddlers should be around people. Putting a toddler in an enclosed space (crib, playpen, baby-fenced-off room) isn't harmful &lt;em&gt;per se&lt;/em&gt;, and I often will put my toddler in his playpen while I'm trying to do something else: cleaning, cooking, homework, or just taking a break from Mom Time. But leaving him &lt;em&gt;alone&lt;/em&gt; there for long periods of time means he isn't getting time to socialize -- that's extremely important for a one year old, and he flips out if he's caged up &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; lonely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since this is not your child, though, you should probably approach it diplomatically -- mention the scientific basis for avoiding TV for babies, acknowledge that a parent gets exhausted by their child sometimes and needs a break, and then see if everybody together can find a solution that's better for your grandchild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-04-30T20:49:11.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7970" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-01T07:39:24.500" Score="3" ViewCount="1090" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 18 month old son goes through phases of waking up early (between 4:30 am and 6 am) and sleeping to a decent time e.g. 6:30-6:45. So his early waking doesn't seem to be due to hunger, and he is not particularly happy that he woke up... but somehow cannot settle himself to sleep. He shares a room with his older sister, and falls asleep by himself in the evening. Any drastic measures as &quot;leave him to cry&quot;... are not easy to implement for us, as this hauling would also wake her up :( and result in 2 grumpy kids. Has anyone used the toddler training clock in a similar case? I've read some opinions ranging from: &quot;it's so bright that my kids are awake from it&quot; to &quot;great tool&quot;. Is an 18-month old too young to get the clock concept? Any tips on how to introduce it to him? Any other tips? THANKS!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2013-05-02T15:07:25.010" Title="Convincing 18-month baby to sleep in the morning - using a training clock?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7971" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7976" CreationDate="2013-05-01T09:40:06.807" Score="3" ViewCount="4262" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 16 month old daughter has weird toenails on her big toes. They grow normally up to the point where the nails leave the nail bed, then where you would normally have the nail continue on flat for a couple of mm, instead they bend outwards/upwards. Hard to describe! They've been like that her whole life. It's only the big toes that are like this - her other toenails are normal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I keep them trimmed as neatly as I can but it seems odd. Googling throws up things like iron deficiency, B12 deficiency, and fungal infections, but as far as I know none of those apply. I suspect it's just the way her toenails are... but how best to keep them neat and tidy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-05-01T19:06:34.807" Title="How to deal with toenails that grow outwards?" Tags="|health|hygiene|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7972" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7974" CreationDate="2013-05-01T10:32:55.270" Score="11" ViewCount="58514" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just curious on this one, but does anyone know when a 1yo should stop needing bottles through the night&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first child was breastfed up to 16 months and when moved to bottles only needed 1 through the night for a short while before none at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For various reasons, our second has been weaned to bottles from 9 months and is still getting up 2-3 times a night for a bottle, even though he eats 3 good meals a day as well as having milks throughout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2729" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-24T07:20:39.370" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T09:47:23.403" Title="When should an infant stop needing milk through night?" Tags="|infant|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7972" CreationDate="2013-05-01T13:55:02.023" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;A six month old can sleep up to eight hours without feeding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had the issue that I had to work (+ commute) while breastfeeding and was getting utterly exhausted by having to wake up for night-time feeds. A pediatrician told us that our then six-month-old son is asking for his night-time bottles because of the comfort and company and not out of hunger. We switched to holding him when he wakes up rather than feeding him. This would be about four hours after going to bed. He would then fall back asleep and sleep another four hours - a good sign that he wasn't really hungry. On the rare occasion that he woke earlier, we would give him milk. He did cry a lot when we stopped night time feeding, but after just one week he stopped crying altogether and would just roll over and go back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-05-01T13:55:02.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7970" CreationDate="2013-05-01T14:59:32.547" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think 18 months is too young for a training clock. Having just looked through a bunch, most of them say for age 2+, and I think the average 18 month old would not understand the &quot;rules&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you bring him in with you when he first wakes, if it's still early? If it's dark and you are lying quietly (asleep or pretending to be) he will get the idea it's still sleep time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, I wouldn't do anything in particular - this kind of thing goes through phases and usually by the time you get annoyed with it enough to post a question about it, the behaviour changes anyway :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-05-01T14:59:32.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7971" CreationDate="2013-05-01T19:06:34.807" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some nails are just like this. If so, you will just have to keep them trimmed well to prevent scratching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, a fungal infection is very possible. Cloudy nails, spotted nails, discolored nail, thick nails, tent nails and curled nails are all common symptoms. But you don't need more than one symptom to be the problem. In fact, you could be completely symptomless and still have a fungal infection. Talk to your doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1693" LastActivityDate="2013-05-01T19:06:34.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7972" CreationDate="2013-05-02T12:52:45.037" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to Marc Weissbluth, a pediatrician who has written books on sleep in infants and children and fussiness in infants, most babies are able to sleep through the night without a feeding at 9 months of age.  I have seen anecdotally from mothers that for some it may take as long as 12 months of age before a child is eating enough filling food during the day to be able to sleep all night.  The average six month old should only need 1-2 feedings according to many guidelines I have seen.  Other pediatricians and moms may have other guidelines.  Families for whom more feedings work or whose children begin sleeping through the night without feedings very young may totally disregard these guidelines and everything turns out fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not force a child younger than 9 months or one who is not having at least 3 meals including all food groups (proteins, grains, vegetables, fruits, fats, etc.) daily to go through the night 11+ hours without a feeding.  However even if you think your child is too young to go all night without a feeding, you can still implement feeding cut-offs based on what your child can do and treat other wake-ups by getting the child back to sleep in some other manner - rocking, holding, sleep training, whatever works for your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-05-02T12:52:45.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7970" CreationDate="2013-05-02T15:07:25.010" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty sure one of my sisters-in-law and her husband used something similar around 18 months on their oldest.  I don't know the ins and outs of how they used it, and I think it took a few months for it to really &quot;take&quot;, but I think he eventually got the point.  I have read similar things about a lot of those lights--some of them can be extremely bright.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that you're going to get much use out of it before age 2.  I think if you start using it now you'll probably still be using it when he turns 2, but it's worth a shot!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-05-02T15:07:25.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7966" CreationDate="2013-05-02T15:12:06.663" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;A resounding YES!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a step-father of nearly 20 years now. The youngest is now in his early 20s and we get along exceptionally well. I am good friends with all of the kids - as far as is possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can only offer very simple advice which probably applies whether you are a step parent or not. Treat them with respect and they are likely to do the same. Do not expect them to treat you with respect, but they probably will anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is one moment that will rock your world - that is when you get the response &lt;em&gt;I don't have to do anything you say - you're just a friend of my mum!&lt;/em&gt; Plan your response early to avoid unnecessary grief. I answered &lt;em&gt;You are absolutely right!&lt;/em&gt; and walked away. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I look at it as though I skipped all the yucky nappy changing stuff and got to the good bits early on, although a free pass through the teenage years would have been nice. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3469" LastActivityDate="2013-05-02T15:12:06.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7980" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-02T16:09:36.250" Score="9" ViewCount="44588" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 month old has developed a liking for chocolate. Her grandparents are responsible. I asked my parents to stop giving her chocolate but they still do it when I am absent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can now recognize the word &quot;chocolate&quot; and raise her hand to ask for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She only has two teeth so far. Is she going to have bad gums or have any health complications?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T14:01:57.903" LastActivityDate="2017-03-28T07:35:14.537" Title="Are there some side effects of letting an infant eat chocolates?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7980" CreationDate="2013-05-02T18:47:04.770" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;A diet high in sugar can have an adverse affect on development. Virtually anything can have an adverse effect on development depending on who you talk to. Feeding your child too much or too little, letting them sleep too much or too little or go to sleep too early or late, switching toward mushy foods and then solids too soon or late, beginning to discipline your child too soon or late, too much or too little, there's someone, somewhere, with a study saying it's bad, and if you take all of them together you come to the inevitable conclusion that everything you are doing as a parent, no matter &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; you're doing as a parent, is wrong. Yet, somehow, the human race keeps on producing halfway-decent people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Case in point, about chocolate being bad for your baby, the more cautious say that it's best to wait till the one-year mark, or at the very least, until she's shown that she's not allergic to or intolerant of dairy, fruit or &quot;tree nuts&quot; (i.e. almonds; an allergy to any of these can indicate a probable allergy to chocolate), and then chocolate should be given sparingly in small doses to ensure she's not allergic to cocoa specifically. However, chocolate allergies are extremely rare (less so than peanut allergies; most pediatricians are much more rabid about feeding your child peanut butter before age 1 than chocolate), especially in children of parents who've never had a problem with chocolate or any other food allergy. Gum disease etc. are also pretty low on the list of worries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bigger concern is that feeding a baby sweets regularly gives her a lot of carb energy in a very small package, decreasing her hunger in general, and the good taste can make her stop eating things that aren't so sweet, like baby food, insisting only on candy (or at least the sweeter baby foods like fruits). That leads to a host of issues with growth, development and nutritional habits, but since you as the parent are opposed to feeding her sweets in the first place, this is also unlikely to be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should be less worried about the baby, and more worried about the grandparents. Having them pointedly ignore your wishes as the parent as to how your daughter is to be cared for indicates serious boundary and discipline issues which need to be addressed &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;. If they're willing to ignore your mandate that they not feed her chocolate, what else are they willing to ignore that could be much more harmful to your child growing up? If consistent discipline isn't enforced by all caregivers, your daughter will come to resent the more authoritarian of them (you) and prefer the people who give her anything she wants (grammy and grampy). You have to set boundaries, with consequences. You're the parent now, not them, meaning &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; dish the discipline. That goes up as well as down; you get to tell your parents what to do and not do when it comes to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you back up these rules with disciplinary measures is a judgment call on your part based on your situation, but one thing is certain, you must make them understand that no means no, just as you have to teach that to your child. As much as I hate to recommend it, you may have to draw the line and say that if you find out that they've given her chocolate ever again, they're no longer welcome to have her over or to come over to see her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2015-09-29T22:44:57.227" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T22:44:57.227" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7972" CreationDate="2013-05-02T19:20:27.857" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13-month-old is currently on cow's milk (whole, and hormone-free) and mashed/soft foods, and we try to give her a dinner at about 7:00, followed by a few more hours of playtime, and then a story and/or bath and a big bottle of warm milk just before bed at about 10. My wife, who loves to sleep in, then tries not to have her wake up before 9; if she succeeds, our daughter normally doesn't need a nap during the day unless there's a trip in the car on the schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician said that by 6 months, our baby should have stopped waking us up in the middle of the night. However, even given this routine and her age, she will still infrequently (maybe once or twice a week AFAIK) want another bottle at 2-4 AM. I can't find a rhyme or reason to it. However, I'm not extremely worried; some of my very earliest memories are of calling for mommy from my crib, wanting a sippy cup of juice or water at a time my own parents probably didn't think appropriate for anything but REM cycles, and that would have been at three or four years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each child is his or her own person from the moment they're born, and while there is a bell curve for various areas of growth, development and learning, no one child falls right down the middle on all of it. Extreme outliers may not be statistically &quot;normal&quot;, and it &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be something that needs to be addressed, but just as likely it's your child being who he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2013-05-02T19:26:28.290" LastActivityDate="2013-05-02T19:26:28.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7866" CreationDate="2013-05-02T20:04:08.587" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For me it really depends on the weather in your region of the world. We went for longer walks progressively, and when the weather was better (no rain, snow, ice or excessive heat).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in the North of France where it is freezing during winter so we didn't really get outside more than a few minutes with our newborn until he was 2 or 3 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, our daughter was born during summer when the weather is really comfortabl. After a few weeks for the mother to recover we went out progressively for 20 min to about 1 hour when she was 1 or 2 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and it seems to be recommended to use one extra layer of clothes for the child since he is not walking himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Protecting from direct sun rays is also obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastActivityDate="2013-05-02T20:04:08.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7980" CreationDate="2013-05-03T11:14:13.450" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the chocolate is in small doses and you/grandparents are brushing her teeth properly, there won't be a problem. I'm sure you eat chocolate, and probably have done for many years. Do you have bad gums or other health complications?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kicking your parents (or in-laws) to the kerb because they give your child chocolate is not a good option, in my opinion. They managed to raise you (or your partner) successfully, so I'm pretty sure they won't do anything to harm your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By all means, talk to them and tell them you're not happy, but don't cut them off!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4270" LastActivityDate="2013-05-03T11:14:13.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5666" CreationDate="2013-05-03T17:50:15.417" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just as with any surgery, there are risks. Vaginal birth should be preferred, cesarean when needed (risks of vaginal birth outweigh risks of surgery).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perpetuating the myth that C-section babies are dumber and weaker than babies born vaginally is harmful to mothers. Cesareans save lives. Mothers don't need any more guilt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4273" LastActivityDate="2013-05-03T17:50:15.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="711" CreationDate="2013-05-03T22:33:02.660" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't suppose your kid likes money? I taught both of my kids to swim by throwing like, 20$ worth of quarters in the 9 foot deep end and telling them that what they get, they keep. Also helped by showing them that when they panick, they sink, but when they TRIED to go under to get the money..they floated! All a difference in mental attitude! Once I pointed that out, a light went off in their heads and 2 days later they were not only swimming, they were diving!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4275" LastActivityDate="2013-05-03T22:33:02.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7988" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-03T23:59:10.503" Score="3" ViewCount="423" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 95-year-old grandmother is about to pass away and I want to prepare my 4.5-year-old daughter who was supposed to visit her soon. Even though she lives far away, my daughter has visited her several time (about 3 times per year) but I assume it's a different conversation if she sees her every day. My concern is that I don't want to scare her or freak her about about death in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the appropriate conversation to have if any? Should I not mention the word &quot;death&quot;, should I explain it in abstract terms. How do you tell a 4.5-year-old kid about the death of her great grandma?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-06-27T13:35:40.530" LastActivityDate="2019-06-27T13:35:40.530" Title="How to talk to my 4.5-year-old daughter about death?" Tags="|pre-schooler|communication|emotional-well-being|grandparents|death|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2013-05-06T13:09:19.010" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7989" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-04T03:29:49.563" Score="4" ViewCount="925" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a pregnant woman: if my baby is proven mentally retarded, what's the procedure I should take to give my baby away to the state foster care? Do I have to pay the state child support if I give my baby away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have mental retardation genes in my family. I am not kidding. I understand I will never be capable of raising a mentally retarded baby myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in New Jersey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4276" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2013-05-05T19:01:58.963" LastActivityDate="2017-11-07T11:07:17.740" Title="Giving the baby away in New Jersey?" Tags="|adoption|foster-parenting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7988" CreationDate="2013-05-04T04:24:33.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son just turned 5 and we've had a few not-so-close family members die (nothing as closely related as a great-grandmother) and some pets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son first started mentioning &quot;death&quot; around age 3 1/2 or 4 probably and I was a little surprised at how much he understood about death in general (that it means that the person or animal has left and won't be returning).  Where he learned this stuff, I have no clue or if he just sort of figured it out organically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My general rule when discussing stuff like this with my son is to keep it simple, know what points I feel need to be covered, and more or less allow him to lead the conversation once I've introduced it.  Abstract doesn't work for 4 1/2 year olds--they are very concrete individuals at that age and being vague or abstract in how you approach it is likely to lead to more confusion and, ultimately, more questions.  Don't get me wrong--questions are great, they just might not be the type of questions that are especially helpful to the situation.  Does she know &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; about death at all?  Having to explain death in general is a different situation than having to simply insert a loved one's death into her all ready constructed framework.  If you don't all ready know, then ascertaining this might take some gentle probing or maybe some creative role-play with some Barbie dolls (oops, Barbie fell and is &quot;dead&quot; and see how she responds to that.  I know, it's macabre, but it might give you more insight than simply &lt;em&gt;asking&lt;/em&gt; her what she knows).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any particular religious beliefs, then now would probably be a good time to insert them.  If not, then now would be a good time for you to decide how you might respond to questions like, &quot;Where did grandma go?&quot;  &quot;Will we see her again?&quot; &quot;Why did she have to die?&quot; etc.  She might not ask any of these questions.  She might ask these and more, but at least if she &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; ask you will have a pretty good answer even if it's &quot;I don't know&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you plan on taking her to the funeral/wake/burial service/etc., you might want to prepare her for that.  It could be disconcerting for her to see her great-grandmother lying in a casket, or for her to see other family members obviously upset and/or crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best friend's father passed away a year ago and it wasn't until a couple of months after the funeral that her daughter (who was 5 at the time) really started asking questions about death and dying.  So even if she doesn't say much now or ask many questions now, she might in a few weeks.  As an aside, my best friend's father was cremated and she still hasn't shared that bit of information with her daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-05-04T04:24:33.723" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7958" CreationDate="2013-05-04T04:30:03.423" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other two answers are excellent.  One additional suggestion is to delay not by time but by events or circumstances.  At 2-1/2 the child doesn't know what 'minutes' are, let alone what 30 of them amount to.  But tangible activities and events and places do make sense and can be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &quot;You can have the puzzle after your other toys are put away.&quot;  &quot;You can have the stick after your sister goes to bed.&quot;  &quot;We don't have any more blueberries, but you can help me pick them out when we go to the store.&quot;  &quot;You can watch a TV show only after you try to go potty.&quot;  &quot;Dinner time is over and you've brushed your teeth, so we're done eating for tonight, but you can have more when you get up in the morning.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, like the others said, it's mostly a matter of staying firm.  Be prepared to deny them what they want if they insist on not doing what you've asked; some children will do this to test and see if the rules really are enforced or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes my son forgets that he was waiting for something.  We find it fun to remind him and give him the reward, and I think this reinforces his patience.  He learns to trust that when he is told he'll get something after a wait, he &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; get it and doesn't need to pester.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastEditorUserId="2849" LastEditDate="2013-05-29T07:17:30.847" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T07:17:30.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7965" CreationDate="2013-05-04T04:39:20.587" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every child is different and has different needs.  Ditto that of parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son did &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; like being left in his crib, and would cry and fuss if he was in it and not ready to sleep.  He needed socialization quite desperately so even when he had to be penned up we kept him near someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter, who was born when my son was nearly 2, is more introverted, and we find the toys-alone-in-the-crib to be enjoyable for her; she is unhappy if she goes straight to bed without some personal time with some favorite toys.  She gets ample &quot;social time&quot; with her brother, and in fact when she starts getting towards nap time she gets very aggravated by him, so some crib time helps everyone's nerves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2013-05-04T04:39:20.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7989" CreationDate="2013-05-04T08:48:53.313" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't rush into anything based on your fear. Parents are almost hardcoded to love their children, so you may feel differently after the birth. If you don't change your feelings maybe someone in your family would be prepared to look after the baby, e.g. grand parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would the baby's father be interested in looking after it ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2013-05-04T08:48:53.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7994" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-04T10:14:50.960" Score="2" ViewCount="1065" Body="&lt;p&gt;Around six months ago, we stopped breastfeeding my first child  after my wife and I found out that my wife was 3 months pregnant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In about 1 month my wife will give birth to our second child. At that time, my first child will be 20 months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are planning to start to give breast milk to him again, because we still have 4 months to go until he is 24 months old. Is that ok? And also is it ok if we plan to breastfeed him for longer than 4 months? It means my first child will still be breastfed after he is older than 24 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-05-04T14:48:32.373" LastActivityDate="2013-05-05T19:00:23.980" Title="Is it okay to restart breastfeeding after a delay, and continue until after a child is 2 years old?" Tags="|toddler|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7995" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="7996" CreationDate="2013-05-05T08:24:28.847" Score="3" ViewCount="861" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm curious to understand - if you don't teach a child how to speak then will the child develop a new language to express itself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a newborn is brought into the family everyone wants to look at it, talk to it, play with it, etc. The child learns by constantly observing, processing and reacting, and children have a very adaptable mind. Unlike adults they pick up things faster because their minds aren't subject to inertia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you play with a child, smile, laugh and take care of it well, but never talk to it then how will it learn to express itself? I know that talking to a child is very important - mothers talk to their children to make them feel safe, and sing lullabies to make them fall asleep. Nevertheless, assuming that everything else remains the same what will the child learn in the absence of verbal communication?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3917" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-02T12:13:46.973" LastActivityDate="2019-04-03T10:32:39.070" Title="How will a child learn to express themselves in the absence of verbal communication?" Tags="|newborn|language-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="7996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7995" CreationDate="2013-05-05T18:28:01.433" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, a child will not teach themselves to develop a new &quot;language&quot; to express themselves, at least not by any generally accepted definition of the term &quot;language&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Language is a complex tool used by multiple people or a community.  A single child who is never exposed to verbal language does not make up their own... what would be the point if no one understood them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A complete lack of exposure to verbal communication is a form of abuse, plain and simple.  Numerous examples have been seen of what this does to so-called &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feral_child&quot;&gt;&quot;feral children&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, and extreme difficulty in picking up verbal languages after these children are rescued from their neglected/abusive living conditions is pretty common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is widely believed that the ability to easily pick up verbal language is tied directly to a specific window of age.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_period_hypothesis&quot;&gt;critical period hypothesis&lt;/a&gt; states:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The critical period hypothesis states that the first few years of life is the crucial time in which an individual can acquire a first language if presented with adequate stimuli. If language input doesn't occur until after this time, the individual will never achieve a full command of language—especially grammatical systems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So no, the child won't teach themselves language, and in fact the chances are excellent that they would never be able to fully develop the language skills most people are capable of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-05-05T18:28:01.433" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7994" CreationDate="2013-05-05T19:00:23.980" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing wrong with any of what you're doing.  There are many women who breastfeed their children until after their 2nd birthday.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My big question is how amenable your 20-month-old is going to be to returning to the breast and breastmilk after taking a 9-month hiatus.  If he's been drinking another animal or plant-based milk since his initial weaning, he might not be interested in returning.  Likewise, a 2-year-old is incredibly active and might not want to so sit (or lie or whatever) the length of time that would be required for breastfeeding.  If he's been drinking from sippy cups, he might prefer the freedom of mobility that comes with being able to take his drink with him wherever he goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if he has expressed interest in returning to breastfeeding, then doing so isn't going to harm him.  After all, breast milk is a substance that is designed to be ingested by other humans.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-05-05T19:00:23.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7989" CreationDate="2013-05-05T21:39:28.173" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;New Jersey has a Safe Haven Law (as do most states), which allows you to give your baby anonymously to any hospital emergency room or police station within 30 days of birth. You do not even have to take the baby yourself, you can ask a friend, member of the clergy, practically anyone. The baby will be placed in foster or pre-adoptive care. Adoption proceedings will usually begin about three weeks later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is information about the Safe Haven Law &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.njsafehaven.org/njsafehaven/faqs/&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; (how it works).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can call them at 1-877-839-2339 to get your questions answered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-05-05T21:39:28.173" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="7999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7988" CreationDate="2013-05-05T22:22:19.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a number of picture books that can help in this situation. Try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children&lt;/em&gt; by Bryan&#xA;Mellonie with Robert Ingpen explains the life cycle using humans, trees, and animals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs&lt;/em&gt; by Tomie dePaola tells about a four-year-old coming to terms with his great grandmother's death.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Tenth Good Thing About Barney&lt;/em&gt; by Judith Viorst takes us through the grief process for a boy whose cat Barney has died.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages&lt;/em&gt; by Leo Buscaglia talks about life and death within the context of a tree's seasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death&lt;/em&gt; by Laurie Krasny Brown is in a question-answer format and geared toward ages 4-8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You may find these and other books at your local library. They are usually kept together in the children's nonfiction section under 155.9&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-05-05T22:22:19.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7960" CreationDate="2013-05-05T22:32:25.900" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hemming and hawing can mean a number of things. Rather than try to guess why he does it, after a reasonable wait (30 seconds maybe at his age), ask him:&#xA;&quot;I notice you aren't answering. Are you still thinking or are you not sure of the answer?&quot; Ask him to answer in full with either &quot;I am still thinking&quot; or &quot;I'm not sure of the answer.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Model this behavior to him as well when he asks you question. Pause for a short period and say &quot;I'm still thinking&quot; or &quot;I'm not sure of the answer.&quot; Do it with some routine until he starts to mirror it. He surely is not comfortable with hemming and hawing - it might help to give him the words he needs to move forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-05-05T22:32:25.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8001" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8013" CreationDate="2013-05-06T01:43:04.587" Score="13" ViewCount="1788" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is six years old, nearly finished with his first year of school.  He reads pretty well, on par with his age I believe.  What concerns me is he has difficulty answering basic questions about a sentence immediately after he reads it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, &quot;On his bed was a cuddly teddy bear.&quot;  If I ask what was on his bed, he can't answer without re-reading it, then he answers in his halting reading voice, even though he knows perfectly well what a teddy bear is.  It's like he reads the words without connecting them to the real world objects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that normal for a child just finishing his first year of school?  If so, when should I expect him to start comprehending what he reads?  Is there anything I can do to help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T13:00:52.320" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T13:00:52.320" Title="How long do children normally read without comprehending?" Tags="|education|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|reading|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8002" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8004" CreationDate="2013-05-06T07:01:07.093" Score="8" ViewCount="3767" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a kid, I used to like School more than anything else. Perhaps, because I came from a broken home and school is the only place where I have friends and people listen to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that I've a daughter, I want to be there for her and perhaps in that endeavor, I might have given her more than I should have - time, toys, games and attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She have been going to pre-school (play-school) for the last 2 years but she hates school. She would rather be at home, playing around with me or her mother and be happy on her own in her room with her made-up friends, animals, toys, dolls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her new school is starting next month but every-time we mention about the new bigger school, about meeting new friends, she hates it and is fighting back against the very of a school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are my options?&#xA;Should I make our home boring?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've reduced her toys, hidden some of them and have stopped buying her new toys and games for her iPad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I help her to let her know that School is indeed a super cool place to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE/EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the answers and suggestions were good. There isn't a specific answer per se and so I'm skeptical marking anyone as the 'correct' answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 6+ months into her new school and she is enjoying herself very much. Lots of friends, sports days are fun, likes her choral recitation sessions and the colorful days where she gets to dress in specific colors (in India, almost all schools wear uniform). She even likes the bus ride home even though, according to her, it's a bit long and makes her sleepy all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1677" LastEditorUserId="1677" LastEditDate="2013-09-13T13:10:58.350" LastActivityDate="2017-03-10T15:25:10.827" Title="How do I persuade my 4 year old daughter that School is Cool?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8002" CreationDate="2013-05-06T09:19:28.283" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, it is because your daughter already felt comfort in home. and maybe, the preschool might be too monoton or not interesting in her mind. You should take her out to visit the school before the school is starting. And if there are school activity, it could be better to let her join the activity for introductions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For alternative, you could search whether there are any neighbor whose their child are also starting their school or maybe older friend but study in the same school. If there is, you should introduce them to your daughter and let them know each others and having fun together. So your daughter also feel comfort and enjoy with her new friends. When the school is starting, I hope your daughter will be getting interesting in entering the new school, because she feel that she has interesting friend at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this could be the solutions to your problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastActivityDate="2013-05-06T09:19:28.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8002" CreationDate="2013-05-06T12:05:22.370" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may be a combination of enjoying being at home (which isn't a bad thing!), and not particularly enjoying something about preschool. I don't think that trying to reduce her home fun time is necessarily going to help (it could increase her overall anxiety level). Try having some conversations about what her preschool experiences are like. Does she feel bored, neglected, lonely? Is it the teachers, other preschool students, or activities that she doesn't like? If you can narrow down what she dislikes, then you may be able to discuss the problem, and also see if there are some things that she &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; enjoy about it (and focus on more of those experiences that she'll have at her new school).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be a challenge to convince her that a new school will be fun before she actually gets there, though, and you may want to accept that she won't be convinced until she has been going there for a while. Many children are simply very attached to their family and home life, and it takes some time to adjust. However, I think that keeping her home time fun and comfortable is going to be important while she's adjusting -- if she's unhappy at school and doesn't feel as happy at home, either, she might have a much harder time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll be at school for a long time, so worrying too much about the experience before she's even there full time may not be worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-05-06T12:05:22.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7995" CreationDate="2013-05-06T12:21:14.300" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the &quot;forbidden experiment&quot;-- linguist wish they new more about this because it has implications for other questions. But doing this to children is barbaric child abuse. So we wait for natural experiments to arise.  The best documented ones are the ones Beofett covered, so I won't repeat that part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cases of feral children and children locked up and kept from human interaction have the problem that the children are treated horribly and not socialized. So what destroyed their ability to speak? The lack of linguistic input or the fact that they were in situation with no social interaction of any sort?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, this experiment is actually on going at the moment every time the parents of deaf children decide not to teach their children sign language. There was one case where parents of a deaf child decided not to sign with their child assuming the kid would pick up English from lip reading-- the child otherwise had loving parents, a comfortable home, toys, etc, just no signing and he couldn't hear anything.  And lip reading English is a superpower that doesn't really exist-- so he didn't spontaneously learn lipreading. The kid instead spontaneously created his own signing system that he used with himself.  This has happened several times, enough that a researcher was able to examine the various systems in the home sign systems that children created and found novel grammar-- indications that this was a language and not just a few isolated signs, gestures or other things that don't rise to the level of language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When discussing home sign systems though, at the moment, the topic immediately changes to the incredibly low status of home sign in the US at the moment-- and for good reason, home sign is a shadow of the complexity of ASL and doesn't give you entry to the general Deaf community. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the topic of the critical period-- it also affects 2nd language acquisition. If you learn a language too long after the critical period, you can't gain near-native fluency.  For 2nd language learning, the ability to learn starts dramatically declining at around 11-14 and declines until about 20 where the difficulty of learning a 2nd language stays the same for the rest of the life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ref Talking Hands, Margalit Fox&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastEditorUserId="2294" LastEditDate="2013-05-08T11:48:31.247" LastActivityDate="2013-05-08T11:48:31.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8007" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8008" CreationDate="2013-05-06T19:52:53.267" Score="2" ViewCount="8644" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last year, my child's school selected my child for Gifted testing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was not selected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will be retested this year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I can do to prep him for this test?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="224" LastActivityDate="2015-08-02T11:53:00.527" Title="How can I prep my child for an IQ test?" Tags="|education|gifted|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8007" CreationDate="2013-05-06T20:09:35.363" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;An IQ test is not something you are supposed to be able to study for.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best things you can do to prepare your child for an IQ test are to make sure that he is well-rested and comfortable during the test.  Try to avoid projecting any cause for him to feel nervous about the test itself.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=960&quot;&gt;National Association for Gifted Children&lt;/a&gt; has some good information for parents looking to have their children tested for Gifted programs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, this is relevant information you should keep in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No IQ score should be considered an exact measure of intellectual ability. For example, good guesses may artificially increase an IQ estimate or having a bad day may decrease the estimate. There are many factors that might make an individual score vary a little from one occasion to another on any test. These include anxiety, motivation, rapport with the examiner, and guessing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So try to make your child as calm and comfortable with the idea of being tested as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-05-06T20:09:35.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7880" CreationDate="2013-05-07T21:17:49.717" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read somewhere (*) that screen time (including TV, video games, smartphones, tablets ...) should be limited to 1 hour/week/year of the kid (so 3h/week for a 3 years old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dad.info/kids/children/screen-time-how-much-is-healthy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;several links&lt;/a&gt; on the internet, it is considered a bad idea for the kid's helath to start watching TV or before 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience, we started showing very short (5 - 15 min max) cartoons to my daughter around the age of 2, such as Pixar or Disney short movies like you can find on Youtube. No more than 10-15 min a few times a week. We always watch together with her and comment, point out the animals or explain the situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She really enjoys these movies and sometimes refers to scenes she saw in other situations.&#xA;So I think she is understanding some of it and learning a bit. But the main purpose for us is to entertain her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(*) I think it was in Marcel Rufo's book (a French pediatrist)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastActivityDate="2013-05-07T21:17:49.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8001" CreationDate="2013-05-07T21:26:31.950" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even I have trouble sometimes comprehending what I am reading while I'm reading it, especially when I am reading aloud, and I'm 30. Often it can be easy to forget to focus on the actual meaning of the passage when reading aloud and just focus on the actual reading. I'd expect this to be even more true for a newer reader. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people might naturally pay attention to what they are reading while they are reading it and others might need to actually mentally think to focus on what they are reading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am no expert on teaching a child to read, and don't know a whole lot about expectations at this age level, so you might want to ask his teacher what she thinks and for some suggestions about helping your son. I'm sure she has plenty of experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things you might consider trying, though, to help him develop the skill of reading comprehension while reading:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read through the book or passage yourself beforehand and then tell your son the question you plan to ask him before he reads the passage. This can help him to focus on the passage the first time rather than go back and might help train him to think about what he's reading while he's reading it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage him to look at the pictures in the story and try to figure out what is going on before and after he reads. This encourages him to focus on the actual meaning of the story, and then in turn the words. It's important for him to realize that the words are trying to tell him something concrete and that reading is about learning something, not just about actual reading if that makes sense. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You may want to give him some books to read that are slightly below his reading level and ask him questions about those so he gets used to reading for comprehension and fun without the stress of trying to read something difficult. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In all of this, I'd try to pay attention to how your son is feeling as you work on reading comprehension. You want him to enjoy reading. You don't want reading to be stressful. If you see that he is getting annoyed by questions or the reading is too much, take a break on the questions or have him read one page and you read the other or something similar. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Combining the previous two points, get him some books that are on topics he would enjoy and that he can read on his own. Your librarian or his teacher might be able to help you or there are tons of websites with book lists if you google. Give him some books like that and let him read them on his own. Then just ask what he thought of them, no specific questions, nothing like a reading lesson, but just like a normal conversation you might have, to encourage reading and make it something fun and enjoyable. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.readingrockets.org/article/400/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's&lt;/a&gt; an article that might be useful to you about ways to read to your child that encourage comprehension.  It's more geared to pre-readers, but I think you could probably apply it to asking your son questions and also read to him that way to encourage his comprehension. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2936" LastEditorUserId="4286" LastEditDate="2013-05-08T02:32:06.550" LastActivityDate="2013-05-08T02:32:06.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8001" CreationDate="2013-05-08T01:09:21.730" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that comprehension doesn't come until reading is more effortless for the child.  Early on, they're expending all their effort just reading letters and figuring out the words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a point of reference, I noticed that my oldest daughter seemed to have very poor comprehension through Kindergarten and first grade. It seemed that in second grade the focus could start moving from just figuring out which words were on the page to attaching more meaning to them. She's in third grade now, and the comprehension seems to have increased dramatically. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I'd say you don't have anything to worry about yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2013-05-08T01:09:21.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6283" CreationDate="2013-05-09T06:07:11.783" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I would get the police involved sooner rather than later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am assuming that the South African Police Authorities have specific depts for dealing with child abuse and know how to handle the situation sensitively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-05-09T06:07:11.783" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7950" CreationDate="2013-05-09T14:10:07.523" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Experience from my bilingual family set up (5 year-old child): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, I don't think you should worry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I don't think you need to look for any pediatrician advice at this point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third: the situation may me more related to the parents than to the child. If both parents work full time, and pre-school is in English, the child will have to work a little harder to make sense in both languages, but he or she will survive very well.... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth: anxiety to speed things up may actually slow things down... So take a deep breath, be patient and don't be negative to your son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think correcting the toddler is a good idea in general, just translate in the right way after improper use of the language. Imagine this converstation:&#xA;&quot;Mom, je parle English! &#xA;No, that's English and French! &#xA;Either speak English or Cantonese or (...) with me.&quot;&#xA;This kind of correction may inhibit his language development. He does not need a teacher to correct, but a parent to help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will do ok (based on your short description, maybe life is more complicated). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relax. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with  &quot;I want alimento&quot;. &quot;That's right, it's lunch time, I want some food, too.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt;, spend some time (a few weeks) back to your native land where he can find other children speaking the same language. They need strong community (at his age, the community of the little ones) support to speak both languages in the long term. As adults in multi ethnic families, the people who get upset about their bilingual childhood are the ones who actually didn't have the bilingual experience (some parents prefer to speak in English than native language...). They wish they had had it. The ones who had it, it's either a normal thing of life or a plus (as adult, not teenager....).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;We had spent a few weeks in my native country 2 and half years ago. That was fantastic and made miracles in her ability AND desire to speak in my native language. I just came back from a 10 day trip, and her language also improved. My daughter was fine tuning her English (specially her &quot;a&quot; sound as 'apple', 'cat', and this dragged the other language... The trip helped again. I don't know if she would fix the second language anyway (I just have one life :), but her second native language is back to her normal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4289" LastEditorUserId="4289" LastEditDate="2013-06-13T22:13:54.697" LastActivityDate="2013-06-13T22:13:54.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6735" CreationDate="2013-05-09T15:48:05.200" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been an insomniac a long time, and I have a different take on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him decide when it's time to sleep. Heck, the next time he has a long weekend or vacation, get him to &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; to stay up late. The human brain is a funny thing, and trying to force yourself to go to sleep earlier than when you're ready can often backfire, ensuring that you're awake &lt;em&gt;even later&lt;/em&gt; than you would be if you weren't actively trying to sleep. At the same time, you'll likely need to teach him that staying awake means having respect for those who &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; sleep. There likely aren't any other kids outside at 10pm, so make sure whatever playing is done is done quietly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This tidbit of advice has been echoed by more sources than I can count, but here's a good one:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2010/06/8-insomnia-tips-fall-asleep-drugs.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2010/06/8-insomnia-tips-fall-asleep-drugs.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2013-05-09T15:48:05.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8007" CreationDate="2013-05-10T06:32:04.433" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My view of the situation is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the strength of an IQ test, your child may or may not be able to take a foreign language program at an early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, lets make a number of assumptions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That there is some merit in the IQ test.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That the foreign language program is relatively hard.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok, so all tests, to some degree, can be gamed. Lets say that there was a book out there containing past IQ tests, so that you could familiarise your child with what to expect. If you prep your child in such a way, it may well raise their result in the IQ test, but what effect would it have on their ability to learn the foreign language?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absolutely none.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that would happen, is that your child would start a course that they weren't really ready for. Consequently they will find it too difficult, assuming the logic for applying the IQ test in the first place was sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, there may well be exceptions to this. For instance, your child may very well know the foreign language already, and may be prevented from studying it early by bureaucracy. IE, the school says that all pupils must have a high IQ in order to study the language. If this is the case I can 100% sympathise. But if your's is just a regular kid (and there's nothing wrong with that) then just let them learn at a regular rate. If you push them too hard they will eventually push back. Remember Newton's Third Law!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a final note, I am not saying one should never prep for an exam by looking at past papers etc. Far from it, once you have studied the course, you should do all that you can to legitimately gain an edge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-05-10T06:32:04.433" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8020" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8021" CreationDate="2013-05-11T00:16:37.067" Score="4" ViewCount="365" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am reading &quot;Baby Talk&quot; by Sally Ward, and she mentions a number of games you can play with babies that I'm unfamiliar with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you heard of these? How do you play them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clap hands&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hidey peep (not peekaboo)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Patacake (is that just the pattycake rhyme? Can a 9 month old really play it?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also mentions that there are actions to row row row your boat, but I only ever remember singing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel silly having to ask!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4296" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-16T13:15:44.553" LastActivityDate="2019-01-16T13:15:44.553" Title="Games mentioned in &quot;Baby Talk&quot; by Sally Ward" Tags="|toddler|infant|play-time|games|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8020" CreationDate="2013-05-11T01:28:58.710" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't read the book, but I would guess &quot;clap hands&quot; is just clapping the baby's hands or clapping your hands to the baby's hands, with or without music. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think hidey peep is when a child hides behind something or under a blanket, similar to peekaboo, but not using hands to cover eyes (search hidey peep on YouTube for a few examples). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd think patacake refers to the rhyme. At 9 months, the baby isn't expected to actually play patacake (my 2 3/4 year old doesn't even do that yet, though we haven't really tried it much...she could probably learn it now, but not when she was just 2). The baby can enjoy hearing the rhyme, watching you do the motions, and having you clap his or hands together, though. The baby can also just clap along to the rhyme without actually doing the right motions while you do the motions yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For row, row, row your boat, have both of you sit on the floor facing each other and then hold both of the baby's hands in your hands, rowing your arms as you sing the song. Another alternative that I loved and my kids love is to lean /the baby backwards and forwards as you do this so s/he goes from laying down to sitting up (you can also lay down when she's sitting up the sit up as you lay her down). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2936" LastActivityDate="2013-05-11T01:28:58.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8022" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8025" CreationDate="2013-05-11T09:50:06.990" Score="5" ViewCount="30144" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter's tummy seems strangely fat. I know babies are chubby and they usually grow out of this, but it seems oddly distended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking at her standing up in profile, her tummy sticks out about half an inch more than her head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her tummy has been like this for a few months and she seems healthy. She started solids some 6 months ago and been fully off the breast milk for about a month. She's happy, active and cruising, although not walking more than a few steps independently yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife has checked the UK charts and she's 50th percentile for weight and 8th percentile for height. She has what seems like a healthy appetite, although some meals she doesn't seem to want to stop eating, so not exactly sure how much she should have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I expect she'll grow out of it, but just wanted a second (and third...) opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastEditorUserId="4031" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T17:02:00.030" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T17:02:00.030" Title="Should my 13-month-old's tummy be this fat?" Tags="|toddler|weight|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8022" CreationDate="2013-05-11T19:41:19.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter since she was quite small has been skinny everywhere except for her belly. I asked her doctor about it after my husband made a comment about how she looked like the starving children you see on tv commercials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctor said it was most likely due to gas and bloating. He said something she ate was probably causing it and we could check her for allergies if I was concerned but it never seemed to bother her so I didn't. She is 1 1/2 now and it seems to have gone away for the most part so I guess her stomach just adjusted to eating whatever was causing the trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the percentiles, she does seem to be overweight, though I'm not sure that's something to worry about yet. With my older daughter (2 1/2) we stopped giving her juice, and only give her a small amount to eat to start, then let her ask for more if she wants it. She also doesn't get another kind of food if she doesn't like what's on her plate. She at the very least has to try it. If she doesn't, we assume she must not be that hungry. And it's good to keep them hydrated as being thirsty can make you eat more. My daughters didn't like water, but we had them just drink water for a few days and now they got used to it and really like it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2936" LastActivityDate="2013-05-11T19:41:19.093" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8022" CreationDate="2013-05-11T20:34:07.100" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sons stomach gets pretty fat from time to time, it gets very round and sticks straight out, but this usually is followed by a growth spurt and his stomach gets much smaller afterwords. He has gone through this cycle 4 or 5 times between 12 month and 30 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just from looking at the picture, she looks normal to me, if you are really concerned a pediatrician could tell you a lot more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2013-05-11T20:34:07.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8026" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8031" CreationDate="2013-05-12T22:43:44.680" Score="-2" ViewCount="145" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am starting to look for a good primary school for my son, I have found a ton of data for schools in England that would allow me to make an informed choice, However I live in Wales and there doesn't seem to be any data available at all for welsh primary schools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know where this data is or if it even exists or even why its so hard to find ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T13:51:49.427" Title="Where to find data on primary schools in wales?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8027" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8028" CreationDate="2013-05-13T06:46:49.890" Score="11" ViewCount="677" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a cultural difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where I come from there is no concept of reading story books as a bed time ritual to babies. Though I do remember my father &lt;em&gt;telling&lt;/em&gt; me mythological stories in order to divert my attention from food so that I could forget about the tastelessness (IMO) of the food and eat it quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I would like to know that besides making the baby sleep and eat properly, are there any other long term benefits in reading story books to babies?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;At what age should the process be started?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T15:39:49.960" Title="In what way does reading story books to babies help them (besides falling sleep), and at what age should it be started?" Tags="|sleep|reading|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8027" CreationDate="2013-05-13T08:43:05.577" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several potential advantages:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Literacy&lt;/strong&gt;: Being functionally literate is practically a requirement for modern life, and the greater your comfort with the written word, the easier it is to acquire knowledge. Reading to your child encourages them to think of books as &quot;normal&quot; things, and starts this process early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Entertainment&lt;/strong&gt;: One of the key things you want with a baby is the ability to self-sooth. Baby books are both intensely tactile objects, and look like the books that adults read, both of which are very attractive to babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bonding&lt;/strong&gt;: By reading to your child, you're committing to sitting and talking with them in a way you don't necessarily do the rest of the day. Unlike &quot;conversing&quot; with your child, where they obviously can't respond (which can get irrationally discouraging after 6-8 months), reading is a way to communicate that doesn't suffer from a lack of response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Language&lt;/strong&gt;: In the same way as singing, baby books are highly repetitive in terms of the words used, which helps to introduce them to basic words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as when to start, we started reading from about 1-2 weeks, while walking the baby to sleep. At that point, it was mostly just so she could hear the sound of our voices. She's now a year old, and while she obviously can't read, her cardboard books are some of her favourite toys (and I generally hand her one of my books when I'm trying to change her and she won't sit still).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T08:43:05.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7629" CreationDate="2013-05-13T09:58:10.480" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming you're in the UK, a child of 16 or over should indeed be entitled to their own room:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.housing.org.uk/policy/welfare-reform/bedroom-tax&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.housing.org.uk/policy/welfare-reform/bedroom-tax&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T09:58:10.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8026" CreationDate="2013-05-13T13:51:49.427" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;found this site &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://mylocalschool.wales.gov.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://mylocalschool.wales.gov.uk/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;which had a lot of data and was very helpful. I am amazed that there are people that think keeping us ignorant about the performance of our schools helps education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T13:51:49.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8032" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-13T16:14:52.417" Score="9" ViewCount="4061" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 25 years old, my parents got divorced when I was 22 years old. I've been staying with my mother since. My father has moved out and lives quite far from me, so occasionally about once every 2 weeks I'd see my father and maybe spend a Saturday or the weekend with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before my parents got divorced, I got along well with my father and we had good times, but I was never really THAT close to him. Now since my parent's divorce, I feel I have drifted away from my father even more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever he calls me up, I don't really have anything to say to him. He just asks me how is my day, how is things going, how is my work and stuff like that. But I feel there's nothing much to talk about, and whenever I see him once about once every 2 weeks, there is really nothing to do or talk to him about. Furthermore, he is quite an dominating person (not dominating in a violent way but he acts like he is the head of the family, making decisions what to do), and I feel I'm already 25 years old and I have my own life, so sometimes when I see him once every 2 weeks, he tells me things like &quot;hey lets go for a movie then go for lunch&quot;. But the problem is I feel I'm already an adult and I have my own plans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still love both my father (and mother) and I don't want to offend them in anyway, but sometimes I feel its unnecessary for my father to call me up few times a week and to make a huge effort to spend time with me, one reason being I'm already 25 years old. How do I deal with this whole problem? Is it normal to drift away from my father since he moved out and I don't see him often?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4299" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T19:42:21.177" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T05:43:19.763" Title="I'm getting distant from my father" Tags="|adult-child|relationships|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8032" CreationDate="2013-05-13T16:35:55.427" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to maintain a relationship with him, &quot;I'm already an adult and have my own plans&quot; isn't going to contribute to it. Perhaps you just need to plan further in advance. If you know now that 2 weeks from now you'll be spending the day together, you won't make conflicting plans with other people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A movie followed by a meal is a great choice because it gives you something to talk about during the meal. You could also ask him to help you with some grownup thing you are doing. If you had your own place you might need help fixing things or choosing things, but even while still living with your other parent, perhaps you would like to go on some sort of shopping expedition and he could come and help? Or could you come to his new place and garden together, paint a room, work on a car? Let him cook for you, or you go to his house and cook for him? There are lots of things you can do together rather than just staring at each other wondering what to talk about and how to have a relationship. Bike rides, hikes, fishing, and attending or watching sports events are also classic father-kid activities for a reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T16:35:55.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8032" CreationDate="2013-05-13T19:39:54.213" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your situation is very familiar to me. You want to be independent and make your own choices, yet at the same time you wish for a closer bond with your father. Fortunately, you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; have it both ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've probably already realized that one reason for the rather &lt;strong&gt;empty phone calls&lt;/strong&gt; is simply that nothing much has changed since last time. So you end up talking about incredibly boring and superficial stuff like the weather and the neighbor's cat. I never liked those phone calls; they'd be devastatingly boring and after hanging up I'd have no idea how he's doing or what he's thinking about. That often left me with conflicting emotions of &quot;nothing to say&quot; and &quot;wasted opportunity.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One simple &lt;strong&gt;solution&lt;/strong&gt; is to have less frequent phone calls so that there'll be more news to talk about in each one. Since he's calling you, try asking him for a weekly &quot;phone date&quot; that you can look forward to and where you can make sure to avoid conflicting appointments. If he calls you at other times, politely ask him to call later as agreed. Consider a video chat session if you want to show him something like photos or new objects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't like his usual &lt;strong&gt;movie and lunch&lt;/strong&gt; suggestions, then make a preemptive strike: think of something that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; like and that you'd love to have him participate in, and cheerily invite him to it. The point is not just to do what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; want but also to give him a view into his son's adult life. Try making it something that somehow demonstrates the adult version of you, to show that you're not his little son but now his big son instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you have a hobby construction project, or a huge errand, or anything else he can help you with? Is there a sport you like to perform where you could offer a friendly challenge? You could also take a hike around a lake you used to visit as a kid -- he will certainly notice the contrast between that kid and the adult you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found that the best &lt;strong&gt;bonding&lt;/strong&gt; (whether in the family or in other settings) is doing some activity that involves a little cooperation and does not require constant eye contact. This happens to rule out both the movie and the lunch...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you've got your own plans so you don't need your father to dominate and plan your joint activities. Perhaps he plans for you because he feels a fatherly obligation which you could relieve him of. Involve him in your plans, and see how he responds. Finally: be open about this -- let him know that you love him and that you want to improve your relationship; that you want to try a few changes to see which one works for you. He might appreciate your initiative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, and have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T20:54:20.137" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T20:54:20.137" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8027" CreationDate="2013-05-13T22:28:42.127" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the literacy, entertainment, bonding, and language, I would add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;values. Whether you read stories that actively tell stories of your religion and culture, or just ones that have the same &quot;backstory&quot;, the books you read help to centre your child in your values. To use a North American example, if you read a story where one of the actions in the story involves the whole family being at church, that can either resonate with what your family does or conflict. If you read a story where there's a Thanksgiving dinner with a big turkey, that can resonate or conflict. And so on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;specific situations. It will be a while till this applies, but you can find tons of childrens books about losing teeth, starting school, learning to use the toilet, getting a new sibling, moving to a new house and so on. These can be used as conversation starters or as context in a conversation: &quot;you seem worried about X. Remember when Y was worried in that story? And it worked out fine, remember?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;music. Many books urge the reader (typically a parent) to sing something, which they might not otherwise do. This increases the fun value and exposes the child to music. It may also cause you to realize you sing better than you think.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;education. You will learn the names of some animals you didn't know, or construction equipment, or sporting equipment, or how an airport works, or something, I guarantee it. So will your child, of course. It's fun to learn stuff, and yes, there are things to be learned from books for tiny babies. (All the more so if other people buy you books for the baby like A Day At The Farm or Animal Noises.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also find that a handful of books brings calm and normalcy to stressful situations, especially when you and the baby are away from home. I remember making an offer to buy this house - we had already agreed to sell our house with a very short date, and if we didn't buy this one, we would have to cancel the vacation we were about to leave on, or risk having nowhere to live. We were waiting in the car while our offer was being considered, and I was so stressed I started reading to my toddler just to calm myself down :-). It worked, we all stayed calm, we got the house and had the vacation too.  That was 22 years ago but the cover of that book makes me smile to this day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-05-13T23:01:43.560" LastActivityDate="2013-05-13T23:01:43.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8036" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8046" CreationDate="2013-05-15T09:25:47.530" Score="5" ViewCount="1174" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a native English speaker nor is the country I live in. However since English is given a higher preference here over the native language I would like my kid to learn English from an early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;English teaching starts here from playschools.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do not talk in English at home. I wondering how should I treat the English storybooks which I am supposed to read to him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I read them in English loud only?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;OR&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Should I read them in English loud first and then translate them in Hindi sentence by sentence explaining the meaning of each word? Will that not be terribly boring for him?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;OR&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Should the English story books be considered only at the age when he is big enough to understand and read the words?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child isn't born yet. &lt;strong&gt;What process w.r.t the problem in the question should be followed at what age?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-05-15T12:51:59.113" LastActivityDate="2013-05-17T22:48:33.160" Title="How to read an English story book to the kid when we don't talk in English at home?" Tags="|infant|language-development|bedtime|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8037" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8048" CreationDate="2013-05-15T09:54:17.483" Score="16" ViewCount="2008" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard about bullies in schools, haven't ever seen or faced them in real life though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to know &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; makes a kid bully, and how to prevent him from becoming a bully?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-10-24T04:46:11.127" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T04:46:11.127" Title="What makes a kid turn bully, and how to prevent him from turning into a bully?" Tags="|behavior|bullying|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8037" CreationDate="2013-05-15T10:11:07.960" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not an expert at this; I do help look after my partners three kids and I have a son of my own who lives with his mother. But from my experience, and from what I have read over the years, a child usually becomes a bully if there are problems at home: not enough attention, or the child is getting bullied at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is mostly a cry for help, or trying to vent some anger onto someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My partner's son used to get bullied when he was 5, quite extremely, and when she went to confront the parents, she found out that the bully's dad was an alcohol and drug abuser, who really did not care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I feel that the best prevention is someone for the child to talk to, someone they can look up to and respect. It's a real shame that in 2013, some people still would rather satisfy their own wants rather than their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But other people have different views; some think computer games, and that is their opinion, but I grew up on computer games and I have never had trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this is some kind of help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4306" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2013-05-16T21:14:16.423" LastActivityDate="2013-05-16T21:14:16.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8002" CreationDate="2013-05-15T10:26:05.550" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;like it has already been stated, maybe try and get her to play with someone who is also about to start school, someone who is excited about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is about to start in september and she was the same for a little while, and she is mad about disney princesses, so we told her that if she wants to be a princess she needs to go to school and become smart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ever since, she asks everyday if its time for big school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try and make it about getting bigger, she is turning into a big girl so she goes to school. If she has any role models etc, say that they had to go to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4306" LastActivityDate="2013-05-15T10:26:05.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8040" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8047" CreationDate="2013-05-15T12:35:16.380" Score="10" ViewCount="257762" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just bought a color led strip (like &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0040FJ27S&quot;&gt;similar to this one&lt;/a&gt;) and installed it so that the ceiling can be lit with any color.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're making experiments on which color would have better effects on calming down my little lady. Some sites like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.johnsonsprofessional.com/bedtime-sleep/new-parents-guide-better-sleep%20&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; just recommend to use soft lights but doesn't specify what colors: yellowish? very dim purple?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone here have experiences about relaxing colors, or have used soft lights in the bedroom to help the child falling asleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2016-07-21T05:27:41.497" Title="What light colors will help calming down before bedtime?" Tags="|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8037" CreationDate="2013-05-15T12:50:53.717" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having been bullied in more than one school, I can provide these observations from the &quot;victim&quot; perspective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bullies enjoy being mean more than being kind&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bullies enjoy the attention they get from others who think their behavior is cool (make ten people laugh by making one person sad)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bullies encourage each other&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bullies are compensating for something (you're smarter, bigger, better in some way than them)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bullies act when they can get away with it (if there's no authority to witness the act, then the victim must become an informer)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bullies don't realize or don't care about the harm they do&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To stop bullying,&lt;/strong&gt; the above points must be defused or negated:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach empathy - the ability to imagine what it would feel like &lt;em&gt;on yourself.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach that it's only fun if everybody laughs, not if it's at the expense of someone. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach that if you encourage a bully, then you're a bully too. Bullies get punished, and so will you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach to celebrate differences and admire others' skills instead of being envious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach that all acts count, not just those you do while your parents are watching.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach that bullying causes problems, even life-long ones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;It's not easy being different&lt;/em&gt; when uniformity and/or conformity to (sometimes hidden) norms are valued. In my case, I was being bullied because I was an outsider in several ways: I was new in town, I had lived in other countries, I spoke several languages fluently (even English better than the teacher), I was bright, I was tall, I was good at most things, I enjoyed school. This was very different from the average style in my class, so I was an easy choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-05-15T12:50:53.717" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8040" CreationDate="2013-05-15T13:10:20.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partners two daughter used to always be hyper at bedtime, jumping all over the bedroom and making a huge mess. I looked online and i seen the same advice on color and moods, so we set straight away at painting the room a very light pink and we have some lights from ikea that look like a flower. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When these lights are on, it emits a pink glow. It's not an intense pink glow, but it certainly seems to have worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Vicky said, blue would seem the obvious choice, but children generally have a wider recognition of colors, so it would need to be a very light blue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I may also be wrong, but I'm sure orange is a stimulating color too, so that may have an added playing effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4306" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2013-05-17T15:00:20.270" LastActivityDate="2013-05-17T15:00:20.270" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7929" CreationDate="2013-05-15T13:29:49.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you said is basically a mixture of my partners two eldest, one being 6 and one 9.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her son (9) play on his computer a lot and complains when he can't. And not just a mild complaint, he throws things, shouts and gets physical. He has calmed down a lot since me and my partner got together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She would prefer the kids to not shout, so they would normally get their own way. But not anymore. When we started it was crazy, but I gave him a routine. He gets home from school, he sits and does his homework at the table or in the sitting room, if it is too difficult, he has a break and tries again, as opposed to getting angry and giving up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After his homework, we will have our tea and then he can play on the computer. But if he does something wrong, like tease his sister etc, he comes off the computer.......cue tantrum.......he initially gets 15 mins off the computer, and if he makes a fuss, an extra 15 etc. Within days he realised that the quicker he behaves, the quicker he gets to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No some people say that a computer is used as a babysitter, which can be true in some cases, but use it to your advantage, if they misbehave, ban them. If they do it more, ban them longer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be tough initially, bit stick at it and you will get there, but make sure both parents are on the same page, because if one says yes and the other says no, trust me, it will not take a child long to realise and it will cause a lot of problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;in addition, I mentioned a 6 year old, my partners eldest daughter. She acts like a teenager, full of attitude and its absolutely crazy. But I have a tool, my friend is a police officer and whenever the tantrums start with her, I used to say 'I will ring my friend' and she would stop. After a couple of weeks, all she would do is start, and I wouldn't even need to speak, just put my hands in my pocket and she would think I was getting the phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know I'm rambling now, but I keep thinking of things when I finish a paragraph. As an additional system, you could buy a small whiteboard and two whiteboard markers (green + red) and do smiley faces. Have a set of rules that MUST be followed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After he does something good, a smiley face, for everything bad, a sad face. And by the Saturday, if he has 10 smiley faces for example, he gets a prize. Maybe a toy, or a day out at the cinema etc, you could turn it into a family thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4306" LastEditorDisplayName="user12035" LastEditDate="2018-04-08T21:56:04.777" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T21:56:04.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8037" CreationDate="2013-05-15T14:15:13.667" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There doesn't seem to be a huge body of research on the matter but a recent meta-analysis looked at the effect of parenting on the risk of children to become bullying victims or turn bully themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0145213413000732&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parenting behavior and the risk of becoming a victim and a bully/victim: A meta-analysis study (Lereyaa et al., 2013)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Citing from the abstract:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Negative parenting behavior [including abuse and neglect and maladaptive parenting] is related to a moderate increase of risk for becoming a bully/victim and small to moderate effects on victim status at school. Intervention programs against bullying should extend their focus beyond schools to include families and start before children enter school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3718" LastEditorUserId="3718" LastEditDate="2013-06-23T10:40:30.263" LastActivityDate="2013-06-23T10:40:30.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8036" CreationDate="2013-05-15T14:23:53.013" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you start reading immediately after your child is born (or even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologicalscience.org/media/releases/2010/werker.cfm&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt;!&lt;/a&gt;), which I highly recommend, and if the goal specifically to exposure your child to English language, then I'd read the English story books in English only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I'd suggest taking it a step further than just reading a selection of stories in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more exposure to each language, the better, but being consistent with how and when each language is spoken makes it much easier for the child to learn.  Choosing a clearly defined &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.multilingualchildren.org/getting_started/language_system.html&quot;&gt;language system&lt;/a&gt;, and sticking with it, will not only help you establish the right balance between the two languages, but it will also help your child keep the two languages separate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So perhaps, in your case, you might decide to read &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; stories in English, or establish that certain times set aside for stories (such as bedtime, or before a midday nap) are for English stories, and other times are designated for stories in Hindi.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll have to evaluate your family interactions and routines to determine what works best.  Keep in mind this advice from the Multilingualchildren.org link above:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It's true that the more consistent you are, the better and faster your&#xA;  child will learn, but consistency shouldn't come at the expense of the&#xA;  child or the family. In the long run, what feels most natural to you&#xA;  will work best. Remember, raising a multilingual kid is at least a&#xA;  4-year commitment to reach basic speaking skills (and obviously,&#xA;  continued exposure for maintenance after that), and the commitment is&#xA;  longer if your goal is full literacy. Circumstances in your family&#xA;  life may change during such an extended period of time. It's best not&#xA;  to put undue pressure on yourself, but to find a routine that works&#xA;  for you and can be adjusted as your situation changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-05-15T14:23:53.013" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8040" CreationDate="2013-05-15T18:49:13.920" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;While blue may be a calming pigment choice for paint, according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Health_Letter/2012/May/blue-light-has-a-dark-side/&quot;&gt;Harvard Health&lt;/a&gt;, &quot;blue wavelengths—which are beneficial during daylight hours because they boost attention, reaction times, and mood—seem to be the most disruptive at night.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Light of any kind decreases the secretion of melatonin, a hormone that helps you sleep, and light at night particularly messes with your circadian rhythm (your daily biological schedule which is driven by exposure to light and dark). LED lights and those curlicue compact fluorescents emit more blue light waves than old style incandescent bulbs. Fluorescent tubes are sold with coatings that can shift the color away from blue wavelengths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Harvard recommends using dim red lights for night lights because they are least disruptive to circadian rhythms. In order to improve sleep, they also recommend avoiding looking at bright screens for 2-3 hours before bed and spending as much time in bright light during the day as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you have installed LED lights which are known to emit blue wavelengths, perhaps instead of using them at night, you could use them during the day as a &quot;stimulant.&quot; At night, choose dim non-LED, non-fluorescent lighting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-05-15T18:49:13.920" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8037" CreationDate="2013-05-15T19:29:40.293" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;While many of the bullies I have seen in schools have come from homes with significant parenting problems, it would surprise you the number of kids who bully (at an older age) who come from loving homes.  It can be very easy for the bully-ee to become the bully in a chain-reaction kind of way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At its root, bullying is about power and a lack of self-esteem.  A kid who has a parent who is abusive or who is an alcoholic or drug user has very little control over his/her own life.  There is no sense of security or constancy in their lives, and if a child is being beaten at home then he/she will have learned that that is the acceptable way to handle anger and frustration.  A kid who comes to school and is bullied can become a bully as a way to regain a sense of power and as a way to make themselves feel better about themselves--even if that child comes from a loving home.  Bullies feel better about themselves after an incident of bullying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind that the way that girls go about bullying is very different from the way boys go about bullying.  Boys will openly make fun of other boys and threaten them; girls can be very subversive and include tactics like spreading rumors, shunning other girls from their circle of friends, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-05-15T19:29:40.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8037" CreationDate="2013-05-15T19:52:50.117" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your first question is what causes a child to become a bully, and there are many possible causes, most of which directly relate to low self-esteem: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;observing parents and siblings exhibiting bullying behavior&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;being victimized by a bully&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;receiving negative messages or physical punishment or experiencing controlling behaviors at home or school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;living in a culture that is fascinated with winning, power, and violence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;belonging to a family, school or workplace that doesn't have high standards for the way people treat each other&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;having a lack of social skills for dealing with negative emotions like envy or anger&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sociopathy - it is estimated that about 4% of people simply lack a conscience&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bullies may be seeking to &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;attack before being attacked&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gain a feeling of importance or power&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fit in&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gain attention through negative behavior because they do not get enough of it through positive behavior&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To prevent your child becoming a bully, then, you should work to help him develop a positive sense of self. You can:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;start young - be responsive to your young baby when he cries, making eye contact and loving noises as you attend to his needs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;let your child know she is fun to be with by playing with her and asking her opinions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;give your child choices whenever possible - getting to choose which plate to eat off of or which flavor toothpaste to buy gives a child a sense of control over his environment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;choose a non-judgmental disciplinary method that recognizes that misbehaviors are a sign the child is temporarily out of control and needs help calming herself down; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;discipline should address the behavior and not the child herself&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;When a child misbehaves, you talk about the behavior. For example: &quot;In our house we don't hit when we get angry, we use our words. Go to your room for a timeout to settle down.&quot; Instead of &quot;You are a bad boy for hitting your sister. Go to your room until I tell you that you can come out.&quot; Always try to describe the behavior instead of labeling the child.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;give your child opportunities to develop his talents&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make your home kid-friendly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;avoid labeling your child in any way - things like &quot;picky eater&quot; or &quot;slowpoke&quot; stick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;give your child responsibilities of which he can be proud&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;help your child develop a vocabulary for talking about her feelings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;model empathy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect your child is a sociopath, you will need professional help. For a person with no sense of right and wrong, life is a game, and games are about winning. To be productive and of no harm to others, this person must learn that he wins best when everyone around him wins as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.southbend.wednet.edu/sbdistweb/Nasp%20Resources/bullying_new_rk.html&quot;&gt;National Association of School Psychologists&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/why-do-people-bully.html&quot;&gt;Bullying Statistics&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=7aWEZhkBSdwC&amp;amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;amp;dq=sociopath+stout&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=JuKTUaT4Geih4AOg9YHgDQ&amp;amp;ved=0CDAQ6AEwAA&quot;&gt;The Sociopath Next Door&lt;/a&gt; by Martha Stout, PhD&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/child-rearing-and-development/12-ways-help-your-child-build-self-confidence&quot;&gt;Ask Dr. Sears&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T07:11:37.130" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T07:11:37.130" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8050" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8058" CreationDate="2013-05-16T09:00:42.780" Score="10" ViewCount="1204" Body="&lt;p&gt;From: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8036/how-to-read-an-english-story-book-to-the-kid-when-we-dont-talk-in-english-at-ho#comment15421_8046&quot;&gt;How to read an English story book to the kid when we don&amp;#39;t talk in English at home?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you start immediately, it won't matter what language you're speaking; either way it will be babble :) Language comprehension takes time, regardless of whether the exposure is monolingual or bilingual. But early exposure, even in the womb, has been shown to increase a child's level of responsiveness to specific languages, which (presumably) facilitates learning the language later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that if I start this as a ritual, I'll feel like talking to walls since I will know that the kid doesn't understand what the hell I am speaking and won't be responding either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hence the question: How to motivate yourself to read stories to a kid whom you &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; cannot understand and respond accordingly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2017-05-10T12:05:02.667" Title="How to motivate yourself to read stories to a kid whom you know cannot understand and respond accordingly?" Tags="|infant|bedtime|motivation|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8050" CreationDate="2013-05-16T09:05:57.393" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even if you are speaking their native language children don't understand all of what is being understood, especially if they are very young. Children enjoy the act of listening and looking at the pictures, and being with their parent. Don't worry about the comprehension, that will come in time. Your motivation is simply the enjoyment of reading a story with your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-05-16T09:05:57.393" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8050" CreationDate="2013-05-16T10:22:56.723" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key here is &lt;strong&gt;Don't Read Books You Don't Enjoy.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Peter:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;[reading a review of a boxing match in a hushed, storytelling way]&lt;/em&gt; The champ caught Smith with a savage left hook...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Michael:&lt;/strong&gt; What are you reading her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Peter:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;[responding to Michael in same tone]&lt;/em&gt; It doesn't matter what I read, it's the tone you use. She doesn't understand the words anyway, now where were we?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- &lt;em&gt;Three Men and a Baby&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found children's books like &amp;quot;I Want My Hat Back&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;The Gruffalo&amp;quot; genuinely enjoyable short reads, but a lot of what I read to my daughter in the early stages were my own books, such as Terry Pratchett's Discworld Novels, the Hobbit, and blogs I was reading. If there's a book you don't enjoy reading, move to a different book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously if &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; don't enjoy reading, then you'll find it harder to encourage a child to read. But there are tons of good books out there that are adult-enjoyable, but still child-friendly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also be aware, it's not exactly like talking to a wall. Your baby will respond to your voice, even if they don't react like a child will. And as I said in a related answer, it's far easier to deal with baby-level reactions when reading a story than when trying to converse, because you don't &lt;em&gt;expect&lt;/em&gt; interruption or response when reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-05-16T14:14:46.687" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1687" CreationDate="2013-05-16T12:23:41.480" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter screamed in the car seat from about 1 month old until about 4 months old.  She could not fall asleep in the car seat due to her Moro reflex.  So if I attempted to drive anywhere during nap time she would get overtired and scream.  In retrospect a product like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.summerinfant.com/Products/Nursery/Swaddle-Me---Speciality-Blankets/SwaddleMe.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Swaddle Me&lt;/a&gt; which allows for swaddling while in a harness safely would have helped that situation.  Whenever a newborn is not sleeping he or she is usually hungry, so if I attempted to drive my daughter when she was not tired she would be crying because she was hungry.  It was pretty miserable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 4 months she was old enough to be awake at times when she wasn't hungry as well as old enough to grasp and mouth toys.  She was also old enough that her Moro reflex had diminished to the point that she could sleep unswaddled.  So at 4 months I could either hand her a toy to play with on a short car trip or get her to sleep for a long one.  At that point things got significantly better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a 1 year old my daughter still complains in the car seat if she is hungry and does not have a snack, but other than that she can be content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-05-16T12:23:41.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8050" CreationDate="2013-05-16T12:29:26.883" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want your child to understand language, you have to talk to your child.  A study was done on the differing number of words per hour spoken to a child in low income, middle class, and professional families.  The difference was startling.  A low income child would hear 600 words per hour.  A middle class child 1200.  A professional class child 2100.  A quantitative difference in IQ and school performance is observed based soley on the sheer number of words heard by age 3.  The tone of the conversation - positive or negative - and amount of praise also appears to have an effect.  You can read an overview of this research &lt;a href=&quot;http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/10/the-power-of-talking-to-your-baby/&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you should find yourself very motivated to talk to your child from birth as much as possible.  The sheer volume of words spoken in a positive manner will have a significant impact on your child's academic and life success.  Reading stories is one of the easiest ways that you can provide a positive and nurturing stream of conversation to your child.  Why wouldn't you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-05-16T12:29:26.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8036" CreationDate="2013-05-16T12:51:29.183" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's the spoken language policy at home? One parent-one language is a popular policy in Europe. India &amp;amp; Philippines are remarkable for the nonstop language switching and that system seems to work fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm working on teaching my son Russian (I'm also not a native speaker of Russian). We follow a one parent-one language policy, so I sometimes read the same books that my wife does, but in Russian. My son's grandmother speaks Tagalog so likely will graduate to the non-stop English-Tagalog switching that ins the norm for speaking Tagalog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age appropriateness, according to a book I read (Screen Time) is important for all ages, baby &amp;amp; up.  At the baby stage, kids prefer you to just talk about black and white pictures (it's was surprising how fixated my newborn son was on black and white pictures).  Also reading style matters for the youngest, they need help with context, pointing things out on the page as you read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An exception to the rule about age appropriateness is for infants who seem to enjoy listing to sing songy poems, which definitely are not simple nor easy to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first son didn't start studying any foreign language until he was ready to read. This is far too late &amp;amp; dramatically reduces the odds of success. US education policy around about World War 2 shifted language education to high school, it was a policy aimed at reducing the odds that anyone actually learned a foreign language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and if you don't have the luxury of one-parent-one language then I've read that if you switch languages by environment (ie. consistently use one language in one scenario, one in the other, than kids will benefit from that, the normal scenario is like, English at home, Hindi out of the home, or some other split.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-05-16T12:51:29.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8050" CreationDate="2013-05-16T12:53:34.953" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think @deworde has &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8052/147&quot;&gt;the best advice&lt;/a&gt; to help motivate you to read stories. However, I wanted to add an answer that mentions options other than reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until they are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/18469-infants-understand-words.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;about six months old&lt;/a&gt;, babies will rely on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_developmental-milestones-understanding-words-behavior-and-co_6575.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;tone of voice and sentence patterns&lt;/a&gt; to help learn to understand you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1671/420&quot;&gt;more you interact with them&lt;/a&gt;, the better they'll be able to learn how to understand you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't just limit yourself to reading stories.  Have &quot;conversations&quot; with them.  Tell them about your day.  Explain what you are doing, and why, even when doing routine chores.  Sing to them.  Tell them how much you love them, frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/307/420&quot;&gt;proper use&lt;/a&gt; of &quot;baby talk&quot; when talking to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-05-17T12:57:49.810" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8040" CreationDate="2013-05-17T17:44:29.597" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8047/109&quot;&gt;Mary Jo's answer&lt;/a&gt; is spot on &amp;ndash; blue paints are good, blue lights are bad, red lights are good. I was going to add a comment but I have more to say :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid blue&lt;/strong&gt; because it is very high-energy in terms of wavelength.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Red is good&lt;/strong&gt; because it is very low-energy in terms of wavelength.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Other colors are in between those two endpoints.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0040FJ27S&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The LED stripe you link to&lt;/a&gt; has no &quot;pure white&quot; but instead produces its many colors by combinations of red+green+blue. With LED, &lt;strong&gt;I&amp;nbsp;only recommend pure red&lt;/strong&gt; because otherwise you're mixing undesirable colors into the light. I use these pure red LEDs myself at home at night, but at the lowest possible intensity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One very important aspect of sleep is the &lt;strong&gt;absence of light,&lt;/strong&gt; because light hinders the body's natural ability to produce &lt;em&gt;melatonin&lt;/em&gt; which is required for healthy sleep. (The body's ability to produce this degrades over time, which is why old people sleep much less than young.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The melatonin signal forms part of the system that regulates the sleep–wake cycle by chemically causing drowsiness and lowering the body temperature (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin#Circadian_rhythm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Blue light&lt;/strong&gt; is most disruptive because of its wavelength but also because the cells in the eye's retina react to it and the brain believes it's daylight &amp;ndash; not good for sleep (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/?q=melatonin&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;google melatonin&lt;/a&gt; for details). Have you noticed that blue status LED's are annoyingly bright to look at? That's it precisely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Red light&lt;/strong&gt; is least disruptive because it has the lowest wavelength.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Red bonus:&lt;/strong&gt; Night vision! This is not important by itself of course, but it is helpful nonetheless. Night vision is a very direct indication of whether a light is disruptive or not. There's a reason why cockpits are usually lit with red light: The eye isn't blinded by red light and therefore it preserves night vision. If you look at a red light at night and then into darkness, you can still see. Look at a blue/yellow/green light and your night vision is gone. It can take up to 20 minutes to regain that night vision. In my home, I've lit the path to the bathroom with red LED at night for this exact reason &amp;ndash; pilots and seamen would agree :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Red is also the color that newborns find most soothing, but my understanding is that it's soothing because it's a familiar color: &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; light looks red when seen from inside the womb!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More references and details can be found in &lt;a href=&quot;https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.urbandroid.lux&amp;amp;hl=en&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this software description&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-05-27T13:12:54.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8036" CreationDate="2013-05-17T22:48:33.160" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing is to use languages you are proficient in.&#xA;That way the child can learn language nuances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't think you're proficient enough in English to read those books, try getting someone who &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; proficient enough to read them in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1435" LastActivityDate="2013-05-17T22:48:33.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8061" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-18T17:23:08.547" Score="6" ViewCount="3238" Body="&lt;p&gt;We live in India. I'm Russian, my husband is Indian. At home we speak with each other in English, and school education here is also in English. My husband is a sailor, so he is often out of the country, and when he is here he is busy with our business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a 1.5 year old boy. I speak Russian with him and am trying to teach him simple words in English -  dog, cat, hi, bye. But my son does not understand English at all yet. In Russian he can do what you ask him, and understands me very well. It's only me in the house. I have to teach him 2 languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want him to understand his dad and have no problems in school in the future, but how?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4319" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-22T13:10:32.660" LastActivityDate="2013-07-02T18:02:46.180" Title="How to teach a toddler a second (foreign) language?" Tags="|development|language-development|teaching|learning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8050" CreationDate="2013-05-19T15:11:59.733" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I found the easiest way I made storytelling more interesting was by adding bits to it. When they are too young to understand, you can be as outrageous as you like. For instance, you can start reading them Winnie The Pooh, but introduce Paddington Bear into it along the way. Now Paddington and Pooh may not get along, because of their different tastes in condiments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, you can make it as silly as you like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they get older, you can still have fun, even when you are asked to repeat the same story for the thirtieth time. You may however find they prefer stories as they are supposed to be told. In these instances, I would see how many ducks I could introduce into a story before my daughter got suspicious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all though, you need to remember that the storytelling isn't really about you. You are doing it to entertain and possibly educate your child. There will come a time when they no longer want to listen, so you may as well make the most of it while they are still glued to your every word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-05-19T15:11:59.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8064" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-19T18:38:35.620" Score="-1" ViewCount="347" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it OK for an adult to join or start a game with some unfamiliar children (if they don't object)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4321" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-03T12:54:42.447" LastActivityDate="2019-07-03T12:54:42.447" Title="Is it allowed to play with unfamiliar child?" Tags="|play|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2013-05-20T12:00:41.103" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8065" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8068" CreationDate="2013-05-20T05:24:33.710" Score="13" ViewCount="2413" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not sure if there is a cultural difference. In our family it is considered &lt;em&gt;normal&lt;/em&gt; to frighten the child so that he behaves the way we want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example-&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Parent: &lt;em&gt;Eat that quickly or the God will punish you!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Parent: &lt;em&gt;Don't go on the stairs. The ghost is hiding there and it'll catch you!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Parent: &lt;em&gt;Be quiet or the police will grab you!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this kind of behavior from the parent's side has any abnormal effects on the baby in the longer run?&#xA;Can this behavior be accepted as normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Has any research been done on this aspect?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-05-28T02:01:57.877" LastActivityDate="2017-02-07T09:08:19.807" Title="Is it considered harmful in the longer run to frighten the child so that he behaves the way we want?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|age-appropriate|parents|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8064" CreationDate="2013-05-20T09:30:11.653" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This all depends on where you live. If you live in some countries, where they adore their kids, then this would be considered par for the course. I remember walking down a street with our (then) three year old daughter in one such country. A waitress came out of a cafe, picked her up, and carried her into the shop. 30 seconds later they re-emerged, our daughter sporting a freshly made ice cream. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same thing just wouldn't happen in the UK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rule I would use is: if an adult is present with the kids, and you have made enough eye contact with the adult to know that they don't mind, then by all means join in or even start a game. If however the child is on their own, then I wouldn't initiate a game. If they initiated one, by kicking a ball to you, or whatever, then by all means kick it back, but be wary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two real issues here. If you live in a country / neighbourhood, where it may be dangerous for kids to play with strangers etc, then by initiating any such contact, even with the best of intentions, you are encouraging that kid to play with strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second issue, is that your actions may very easily be misconstrued. The other day, I stood in our daughter's playground with all the other parents, waiting for the bell to ring. A little girl (I am male) had found a tennis ball, and decided that I would be a suitable goalkeeper. I had no idea who her parent was, but kicked the ball she rolled to me back to her. This continued for a few minutes until her mum noticed she was playing with a stranger, albeit, a fairly reluctant one. The mum told her daughter to play somewhere else (I noticed with some sad irony that she didn't actually volunteer to play with her herself, but continued yakking on her phone). At that point I felt fairly uncomfortable, despite the fact that I had stood in the same playground for the last four years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying the second point is how things should be, I am saying it is how they actually are, at least in my neck of the woods. Its a sorry state of affairs, and I always love going abroad to places where kids are treated with so much more warmth and friendship than they are in the UK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastEditorUserId="3954" LastEditDate="2013-05-20T10:01:25.010" LastActivityDate="2013-05-20T10:01:25.010" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8061" CreationDate="2013-05-20T09:53:13.603" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It's only me in the house. I have to teach him 2 languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, you don't &quot;have to&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In India, people in northern states speak Hindi at home. Not all Indians are fluent in English yet their &lt;em&gt;toddlers&lt;/em&gt; know the meanings of English words like cat/watch etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason is the &quot;playschool&quot;. Here the people usually send their children to formal schools at the age of around 3/3.5 years. Before that the children usually go to playschools where they &quot;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; taught English alphabets/poems and words like cat/dog etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually (shamefully) English is preferred over the native language in this country. You will in fact have difficulty in finding a playschool in an Indian &quot;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;city&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; which does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; teach English!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming you live in a northern state of India, how do you think your child will cope up with the other kids who will most probably be speaking Hindi? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to send your child to an English medium playschool as soon as possible since he has to learn English if he's supposed to study in India and other problem is that his classmates will probably be speaking Hindi so he needs to understand that language too! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in deep southern India then knowing Hindi shouldn't be a concern for you. In southern India, the local languages and English are given a preference over Hindi by the locals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-22T06:28:06.370" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T06:28:06.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8065" CreationDate="2013-05-20T11:44:28.550" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know about the &quot;frightening the child&quot; aspect - personally I think frightening / shocking a child who tries to do something dangerous, like run into the road (eg by shouting loudly) is quite effective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I think the thing that all your examples have in common is that the parent is appealing to an external authority (God, ghost, policeman) to be the disciplining force - possibly implying to the child that the parent themselves doesn't have any authority or isn't to be respected. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like any discipline tactic, I think this one is best used sparingly - it may make sense sometimes, but shouldn't be the only way you ever approach discipline issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, one of the key cornerstones of most discipline strategies is not to threaten something you won't follow through on (otherwise the child learns it's an empty threat). What happens when they defy you and then God / the ghost / the policeman doesn't punish them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-02-07T09:08:19.807" LastActivityDate="2017-02-07T09:08:19.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8061" CreationDate="2013-05-20T18:05:47.837" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whatever the language, repetition is the key. If you want to have him understand Russian and English equally well, then you need to speak them with approximately equal frequency. Rather than just focusing on one word (&quot;cat&quot;, &quot;dog&quot;, &quot;hello&quot;) at a time, use full sentences (&quot;Come over here&quot;, &quot;Sit down&quot;, &quot;Let's eat a snack&quot;). You can try telling him something first in Russian and then English (or vice-versa), or try having English-only days. Use the same strategies as you would when teaching him words/phrases in Russian -- if you say, &quot;Do you want to eat a cracker?&quot; take a bite out of a cracker to visually demonstrate what you mean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets older, find playgroups, preschool, and/or other activities which include English instruction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-05-20T18:05:47.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8072" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-21T06:54:54.907" Score="8" ViewCount="446" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nearly 3 years old daughter is capable of saying whole sentences by now and using them nicely while at home with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However the kindergarten staff claims she speaks very little and not capable of saying whole sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried to explain them the situation, but so far they were not able to &quot;convince&quot; her to talk the same way like she does at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a normal behavior? Should we be worried or take her to professional help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possible causes that I can think of are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She can get what she want without talking too much as the staff know her very well and love her.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She is very shy so maybe she's just being too shy to talk much when with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing the cause might help, ideas for more possible causes are also welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:09:01.217" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T13:09:01.217" Title="Daughter saying whole sentences at home but not in kindergarten" Tags="|toddler|behavior|language-development|communication|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8061" CreationDate="2013-05-21T14:32:35.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're in India but from a very remote and very small state of the North-East. Hence our language Manipuri is not spoken in our current city (Bangalore). It is very rare to hear our language in any other part of India.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now 4½ years. During her early days, we did discussed how do we go about talking/teaching English but not let her totally skip our own language. We tried the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_person,_one_language&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;one person one language&lt;/a&gt; method (we both are Manipuris).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we realize that she had picked up quite a bit of her own skills with English and even some Kannada/Tamil as she mingles with other kids in pre-school, and friends in the neighborhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also realized that not everyone talks in 'her local' language and so she talks in English to other people (my friends, her mom's friends, etc). She had picked up lots of words, phrases which we have not taught/talked to her 'consciously'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Btw, kids do not really need to understand 'languages' to be friends, play and have fun. In all fairness, I'd say, continue with your Russian, help him with English and let him pick up on his own. You'll be surprise how much they can learn. Of course, the pre-school teachers are already talking to him in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. Don't worry so much about Hindi and other local language. If he speaks English, that will be good anywhere in India.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1677" LastActivityDate="2013-05-21T14:32:35.970" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8072" CreationDate="2013-05-21T15:42:41.843" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children who are independent, shy, introverted, or a combination of those things can sometimes be difficult for teachers to assess.  My son was initially VERY introverted when we first enrolled him at his current school.  He didn't play or interact with the other children much.  It's taken almost 2 years, but he's a completely different kid now.  Some of that is his comfort level as he is more familiar with the teachers, his classmates, and the structure of the school day.  He's still shy in new situations and I would certainly classify him as an introvert (he definitely takes after me).  It takes him awhile to acclimate to new situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, consider how long she has been attending this school.  If she's fairly new to the school, she could still be becoming comfortable with her new environment.  Like I said, it took our son almost 2 years to become completely comfortable with our school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do the teachers give her the opportunity to speak in complete sentences?  I would guess they would, but they may need to take a different tactic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; say she's speaking in complete sentences, then I wouldn't worry too much about what the teachers say on this particular point.  I would believe that she'll start talking more on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-05-21T15:42:41.843" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8075" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-21T16:22:55.443" Score="6" ViewCount="520" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a father and an employee to an alcohol rehab, I'm wondering when I should talk to my son (age 9) about alcohol?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've met a lot of people who've harmed themselves with the substance but, when I do talk to him about it, I don't want to scare him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any and all suggestions are welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4329" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:09:22.153" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T13:09:22.153" Title="What is an appropriate age to talk to you child about alcohol?" Tags="|age-appropriate|communication|drugs|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8075" CreationDate="2013-05-21T17:10:43.593" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with many topics, I would not force it upon him but rather &lt;strong&gt;wait for a suitable situation&lt;/strong&gt; to present itself.&#xA;I don't think there's a &quot;right age&quot; for this talk, or rather that this &quot;age&quot; is not counted in years but in observations and questions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case, it might be when he asks you &lt;em&gt;what do you do at work,&lt;/em&gt; or simply a situation at home where he notices that mom and dad (or someone else he observes) take a glass of wine with dinner and he doesn't get one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; eventually ask, have a short and simple response ready. &#xA;It's like coffee, or tobacco. It's something that only grown-ups get and something that can be dangerous. It's okay to consume (wine/chocolate/whatever) in small doses but anything can become harmful if you're not careful. (Coffee might be a stretch, but I'm not aiming at being scientific here.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him time to absorb this. If he asked about the wine at dinner time, bring it up the following evening, just ask if he remembers what you said. If you're at an event where someone got a bit tipsy, or he notices a drunk person in the street, remind him of what you said about (lack of) moderation. Depending on his maturity, you can also start explaining what it is you do and how you'd go about handling a person like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, &lt;strong&gt;be a role model.&lt;/strong&gt; Walk the talk. Say out loud what's common sense to you: &lt;em&gt;I'd better only have a single glass of wine or else I'll feel bad.&lt;/em&gt; I'm  sure your work gives you plenty of ideas that are better than what I could come up with here, but I thought I'd mention it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Personal opinion:&lt;/em&gt;  Go ahead and scare him. Why not? There's no objective benefit to alcohol, it's not something we need, so there's nothing about it that's worthy to &quot;protect.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-05-21T17:10:43.593" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8065" CreationDate="2013-05-22T04:42:52.197" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your name, I understand that we are from the same country. The statements you mentioned is not just in your family but well prevalent across. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vicky has very valid points. Just adding to it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read about an article on this sometime back and it was mentioned that such fear that is ingrained in the childs mind (in the name of discipline) from such a small age is one prime reason why children, in comparison to westerner show a lesser amount of confidence/ (may be comparative) more fear in doing things and probably less adventurous. This is in general and there will surely be many exceptions&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3625" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T04:42:52.197" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8078" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8085" CreationDate="2013-05-22T09:39:14.720" Score="12" ViewCount="175034" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid (not born yet) has both parents working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the choice of calling up my father in law to stay at our house to watch the infant of 5 months and I also have the choice of sending the kid in daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my father in law stays at home with us then we will have to get a babysitter who will be there the full day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One con of not letting the baby go to the daycare is IMO that he'll be &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;exposed to TV at the age of 5 months at home&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. At a quality daycare, I can make sure he doesn't get to watch any TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After one year he will in any case have to be send to the daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is 5 months a too young age to let the infant be in the daycare OR should we prefer to be at home with his grand father and a babysitter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-22T12:37:51.180" LastActivityDate="2014-08-06T11:23:37.120" Title="Pros and cons of putting an infant in a Daycare" Tags="|infant|daycare|working-parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8078" CreationDate="2013-05-22T10:00:17.203" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;That depends a lot on the daycare and the age of the other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where I live (The Netherlands), maternity leave ends when the baby is 12 weeks old, and then they go to daycare, usually just 2-3 days a week at first. This means that the staff is experienced with babies of this age, and they are well cared for. There is also a rule that in the groups of tiny ones, there is one care provider per four babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The downsides that I experienced with my son in daycare were that he would be more tired than usual at the end of the day, and that he was often sick in the beginning. Both are unavoidable, but you might have reasons to want your kid to go through that kind of adjustment later (e.g. an older baby is more robust). Personally, I don't think that it makes a big difference in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The positive side is that smaller babies adjust to strangers more easily. On my son's first day in daycare, we found him completely asleep, completely relaxed, in the arms of one of the ladies working there. He had just fallen asleep while feeding. The transition from home to daycare was completely smooth for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe he started really enjoying daycare around the time that he began to crawl (7-8 months). There was more space to explore, more toys, and it was a safe space where he could touch anything he wanted, all of which he really liked. At that point it seemed pretty clear to me that daycare is preferable to staying at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2013-05-22T14:36:01.093" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T14:36:01.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8080" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-22T10:35:19.970" Score="6" ViewCount="738" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have an almost 2 year old daughter and we are looking around for preschools to put her in. We are in Vancouver, Canada which has a large Chinese population and Mandarin is very common. Neither of us speak any Mandarin whatsoever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife feels that our child will benefit greatly from attending an exclusively Mandarin speaking school, however I'm concerned that this will cause additional stress in the household and it may make our child feel somehow alienated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we do endeavor down this path, I'm confident that we will both learn the language along with our child, however neither of us is bi-lingual and I'm sure it will be a challenge. We both took the required French classes in schools, but it never really stuck for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any experience with a similar situation? What kind of hurdles are we going to need to overcome? And finally, do you think it is really worth it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4332" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2013-05-22T12:57:38.267" LastActivityDate="2013-07-02T17:58:51.447" Title="Should we put our a child in a preschool with a primary language we do not speak?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|bilingual|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8080" CreationDate="2013-05-22T11:51:13.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is an extremely bad idea to put a child into a school which teaches in a language you don't understand, and they have no background in. Children need help with their homework in order to do well, if it's in Mandarin how in the world would you even know if your child has even done it? And you are right to be worried about your child being alienated, it would not be a good experience! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children in a Mandarin school are almost certainly raised in Mandarin households, and will already use it in their day to day life. Your child won't understand a word and as a result will not be able to interact with these children. It will almost certainly lead to isolation. And it won't help with academics either as the teacher won't have the time (or the inclination in many cases) to help the one non-native speaker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of being a help to your child's development I think this would be the complete opposite. You are right that people learn languages best through immersion but that is not the way to go about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2013-05-23T09:13:54.410" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T09:13:54.410" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8078" CreationDate="2013-05-22T12:20:09.703" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Ana - daycare is preferable (if you can afford it - I don't know if it has a cost where you live).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting the baby in daycare means the child will be cared for by trained &lt;strong&gt;professionals&lt;/strong&gt; in a safe environment. It will relieve your father-in-law of a responsibility he might not want to accept, or might not be well suited for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daycare also means &lt;strong&gt;more social interaction&lt;/strong&gt; which is a good thing, although it does include a risk of the usual sicknesses. Training the immune system is useful, but 5 months is pretty young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daycare also means &lt;strong&gt;reliability&lt;/strong&gt; and consistency. Reliability is important to you if you depend on the time for your work. Consistency is important to the baby because fixed routines make small children feel safe. And your father-in-law is free to use his days as he pleases :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But daycare has &lt;strong&gt;downsides,&lt;/strong&gt; too. You might not agree with the style and methods of the daycare staff, and you might not want to have your child in the hands of strangers for so many hours every day, every week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T12:20:09.703" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8080" CreationDate="2013-05-22T12:28:34.213" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to the site, Sean! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I generally encourage learning foreign languages but it requires that the parents can participate. Don't underestimate the challenge of new languages. My personal experience is that children can learn languages nearly automatically but adults find it very difficult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a history of little or poor language learning (your French) then you will find Mandarin exceedingly difficult to learn. Even if your daughter learns Mandarin, you will not be able to support her learning and you will not understand her. This causes frustration for everybody, and your desired benefit of her learning it vanishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'd be better off picking a language that you have a good chance of learning. Given that Canada is English/French bilingual, French presents itself as a good alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T12:28:34.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8078" CreationDate="2013-05-22T13:33:11.773" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had to send my son to daycare by the time he was 3 months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife got 4 weeks of maternity leave, and then used 4 weeks of vacation to extend it to two months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had saved up 4 weeks of vacation/personal time as well, so I took over staying home once my wife had to go back to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 3 months, we started taking our son to a friend who was looking to get into daycare (she was a stay-at-home mother with 3 daughters, and our son was the only one there besides her daughters).  It was a pretty decent arrangement, since she agreed to minimize our son's exposure to TV (her daughters watched it during the day), and he got a fair amount of interaction (both she and her daughters doted on him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only downside seemed to be that my son developed a fascination with blonde girls :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, at 5 months, the friend decided to accept a job offer, leaving us stranded.  Fortunately, we found an in-home daycare run by a woman who had both a license as an in-home daycare provider (with attendant prerequisite training), and excellent recommendations from a friend who had sent 2 of his daughters to her for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So at 5 months, our son went to a daycare with 7-9 children, all but one of whom were significantly older (the ages ran from 4 months to 5 years at the time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More than 2 years later, my son is still there, and we're quite happy with the arrangement (aside from a few minor bumps that result from interactions with children of parents that aren't as engaged, or who have some significantly different perspectives on parenting techniques than we do).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Pros:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Social Interaction&lt;/strong&gt;  My son has established friendships with quite a few children there over time.  While the roster of kids attending changes (some outgrew it, some moved, other new kids came in to take their place), two of the children there now are ones who were there when he started, and he's adjusted very well to the others leaving.  Generally, I have to say that my son is far more social than either I or my wife.  I was shy, even as a kid.  My son is most decidedly not.  He has also learned how to share; not to hit, push, or bite; and how to take turns.  I have seen much older children who don't have the level of mastery of these skills most of the kids in the daycare have.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Health&lt;/strong&gt; This one is questionable, but I have heard this repeated from many other parents.  When we first started my son in daycare, he got sick.  A lot.  Every cold, flu, or other nastiness (including a bout of hand, foot and mouth disease that wound up knocking &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; out for 4 days!) that was going around... my son caught it.  Many of them seemed to start in the schools, get transmitted to kids in daycare from older siblings, and then get to my son.  This lasted for most of the first year.  Now, however, my son rarely gets sick.  Supposedly this will help him resist a lot of the stuff going around once he gets into school, too.  However, I'm skeptical.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nutrition&lt;/strong&gt; Oddly enough, our son eats much better at daycare than he does at home.  He is a very picky eater for us.  At daycare, though, he apparently eats whatever he's given (and our daycare provider prepares homemade meals for the kids old enough to eat solid foods).  I suspect peer pressure plays a part in this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Cons&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lack of control&lt;/strong&gt;  We simply don't have the level of control over his environment that we would if he were home, even if we had a baby sitter.  Despite our resolutions when planning our parenting strategies, he does watch TV (it runs in the background at daycare, and kids periodically bring in DVDs of their favorite movies/shows).  He does get exposed to other influences that we don't love (one boy, now gone, had some behavior problems that included words that aren't generally appropriate for that age, and had a grandmother who &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/7158/420&quot;&gt;spanked him in front of my son&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cost&lt;/strong&gt; Our daycare is a fraction of the cost of what we'd be paying at other daycares within our area, and the cost is still significant.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Schedule&lt;/strong&gt; We lose a bit of flexibility in our schedule.  We have to drop him off between certain times, and pick him up before 5p.m. (although we have asked in the past for a little flexibility from our provider for specific circumstances; not all daycares will allow this, though, and many charge exceedingly steep &quot;fees&quot; for picking up outside of normal times).  Since we're reliant on a single provider, for days where she is sick or has a vacation, we have to make other arrangements (sometimes on short notice).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Other Considerations&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all daycare providers are the same.  For that matter, neither are all babysitters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to do your research, and check references (this is very important; try to at least talk to some people who have brought their kids to the daycare before committing, if at all possible). Also check to see if the daycare is licensed and insured,  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our area, almost every daycare is full, and most use a waiting list system.  Frequently they will limit the number of enrollments by age bracket, so even if there is an opening, your child may be too young or old for that particular spot.  It isn't uncommon to have to wait over a year for an opening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going earlier, rather than later, may have some additional benefits.  It makes it easier to drop them off in the morning, since they become used to it at an early age.  We rarely have any problems with my son becoming upset about going to daycare, and if he does complain, we simply point out that he'll get to see his friends, at which point he says &quot;oh, yeah!&quot; and becomes enthusiastic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T13:33:11.773" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8075" CreationDate="2013-05-22T13:45:59.597" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/AA67/AA67.htm&quot;&gt;http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/AA67/AA67.htm&lt;/a&gt; about 15% of 8th graders binge drink on a regular basis so 9 years is probably not a good age to start. Whether you like it or not, your child will be exposed to alcohol first probably in middle school&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides the age, you need to be also clear about &lt;strong&gt;what&lt;/strong&gt; exactly you want to teach to him. The main approach at least in the US seems to be to advocate &quot;no alcohol&quot; behavior. Legal drinking age is 21. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is: it doesn't work. 99% of all high school kids know how to get access to alcohol and drugs. In college, alcohol is easily available (regardless of what policy the university claims to have and enforce). As a result many teenagers and young adults drink in very unsafe situations. If someone gets seriously ill or injured, the other kids are very reluctant to get help, since they are (rightfully) afraid to get into trouble. If someone is behaving badly, is taken advantage of, or simply can't make any decisions anymore, there is no one there to mitigate and manage the situation. Sorry for being graphic: a girl in my daughter's dorm who had little alcohol experience before college would get hammered every night and when being drunk have sex with any random guy. Lots of them. Next day she felt bad about it, so she started drinking and do it all over again. This is NOT a particular rare or atypical case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now a good party and responsible alcohol use can be great fun and it's an integral part of college life and our social culture in general. The challenge for parents is how to best prepare the kids for it. The &quot;no alcohol before 21&quot; approach seems silly. You don't teach kids how to swim by waiting until they are &quot;old enough&quot; and then throw them in the deep end of the pool. Your personal approach may vary but we made sure that all our kids had their first alcohol experiences in a safe environment and that they had a chance to safely figure out how they personally react to it, how much is &quot;too much&quot;, and what happens if you have &quot;way too much&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T13:45:59.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2416" CreationDate="2013-05-22T16:06:08.730" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I got a bunch of help from this post, but also drew info from other sources (and the unplannable), so after writing up our solution for a friend in our building, I thought I'd share it here.  (I'm  only using male pronouns because my oldest is a boy, and genderless writing is harder to read.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what worked for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ideally, you &lt;strong&gt;have a fairly consistent routine.&lt;/strong&gt;  If you can make it more identical each day (3 books, kisses, aquaphor, bed, or whatever) do it - you want him trained to go to bed after doing A, B, C.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Figure out what your toddler bed solution is.  &lt;strong&gt;If it's possible to convert his current crib to one (some come with a kit, or have one you can buy), definitely do that.&lt;/strong&gt; The less change the better, so converting the current crib is ideal.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Figure out roughly when you can do it in the future, and &lt;strong&gt;avoid any big changes around the same time&lt;/strong&gt; - moving, rearranging other stuff in his room if you don't need to, new siblings, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whatever the solution is, &lt;strong&gt;start building it up a while before you&#xA;try to switch.&lt;/strong&gt;  We talked to Griff about how big boys who could be&#xA;responsible and stay in bed get to use &quot;big boy beds&quot;.  We did this&#xA;way before we told him he was ready, and then kept talking about him&#xA;being ready pretty soon, and asking if HE thought he was almost&#xA;ready, etc., so it was an idea he wanted before it was a scary&#xA;change.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure &lt;strong&gt;the buildup routine includes the fact that it's for big&#xA;boys who can stay in their bed all night&lt;/strong&gt; - they can still call if&#xA;they need help, but they shouldn't get out of bed. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure you're&#xA;REALLY comfortable with your childproofing in his room&lt;/strong&gt; - you should&#xA;assume he'll be in there with no supervision and you won't wake up&#xA;from the monitor until AFTER he finds trouble.  (Weird tip - open&#xA;all the drawers in any dresser to see if climbing them will tip it.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a gate&lt;/strong&gt; for the door to the room (so you don't have to make the whole house &quot;unsupervised-level-childproof&quot;) The &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000G6BZJI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cheap kind like this&lt;/a&gt; is lightweight, and fits any door and works well, although it won't win any design awards.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When it's time to actually do it, hopefully he's pumped up.  &lt;strong&gt;If you&#xA;CAN'T convert his crib, I'd suggest having him help pick the bed&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;(even if you only give him 2 choices or whatever) and actually bring&#xA;him to the store.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When you install the bed or kit, I'd have him there&lt;/strong&gt; - again, you want no shock that his crib is gone/changed, and kids that age love to help&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep reminding him that you're proud he's a big boy who can have this bed, and that big boys stay in bed - they can call you if they need you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If possible, &lt;strong&gt;plan to leave the door to his room open and a light on outside&lt;/strong&gt; somewhere.  Make the door his choice - ask if he wants the door open or shut (he'll pick open in almost all cases).  This lets him feel a bit in charge, and helps with the fact that kids this age often also have nightmares.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We told Grif about the gate, and said it let us leave the door open for him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remind him again NOT to get out of bed, but to call you if he needs you.  Be prepared to &lt;strong&gt;go in if he calls, but not take him out of bed unless something serious has happened&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If he does get out of bed in the night once you start, walk him back to back to bed,&lt;/strong&gt; and the first time, remind him that he has to stay in bed until morning (when it's light out).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After the first time, &lt;strong&gt;try to minimize even that much discussion&lt;/strong&gt; - any engagement wakes him up more and encourages the activity by associating it with interaction.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;May God have mercy on your soul.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="2829" LastEditDate="2013-05-22T16:28:59.030" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T16:28:59.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8075" CreationDate="2013-05-22T19:43:09.687" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things to consider &amp;amp; not consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maturity (Some children are mature at 6 while others are still immature at 14)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Environment (Are they in an environment where they see/hear more about people with alcohol abusive habits)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gender(Contrary to popular belief gender does not carry a significant role and the statistics for alcohol trial at a younger age are fairly similar.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These factors should always impact the time and the type of talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say for an average 9 year old living in a mid to high income area, with internet access and an average circle of friends(not trouble makers but not angels either), 9 is still a little too early for the topic, simply because they would not have had enough interaction with alcohol related situations to even have the message sink in or carry any positive impact. I believe, drawing a little bit from my own experiences as well as observing modern day youth, that 11 and 12 is an ideal age to start bringing up alcohol and exposing it's negatives as well as positives. It is important to point out that at an older age drinking is NOT WRONG as long as it is done responsibly. If you simply talk about all the negatives, they will have the wrong idea about alcohol, and when they experiment with it, and find the experience positive, they will ignore the rest of the things you said as well. Therefore, while exposing the negative aspects is important, make sure you are being upfront and honest with them. At 11 and 12 they are capable of discerning truths from folktales parents tell children to just scare them off of doing things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4335" LastActivityDate="2013-05-22T19:43:09.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8091" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8094" CreationDate="2013-05-23T06:32:46.203" Score="3" ViewCount="896" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kid isn't born yet. I would like to know at what age should we start fixing the sleeping and eating schedules for the kid, and also expect the kid to follow?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides eating and sleeping are there any other schedules which need to fixed for kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T02:09:37.333" Title="At what age should sleeping and eating schedules be fixed for a kid?" Tags="|toddler|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8091" CreationDate="2013-05-23T09:39:46.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no right or wrong answer to this as there is more than one school of though. One is that these things should be baby led, ie your baby sleeps and eats when it wants to. The other is that you start a routine as soon as the baby is born. Last are those that follow the baby led method and then transition into a routine later when they feel like it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any one of these methods will work fine, remember that the most important thing is that your baby has enough to eat and has enough sleep. In my opinion using a routine or not is more for the benefit of the parents than the child. Most parents live busy lives, holding jobs and needing to do things according to the schedule that society sets, and in order to do this they need their child to work towards that. Or the parents just want to sleep at night and wake during the day. Either way, a routine makes that work out. It also helps you schedule things if you know when your baby is going to need to sleep and eat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my children were on a routine within 2 weeks of birth and responded very well to it. Several of my friends started on baby-led schedules but established routines within weeks or months as they found it really difficult to live to a baby's schedule. Your experience may differ, as I said there is no right or wrong answer as it's more about you than them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have a routine working for eating and sleeping you'll find everything else falls into place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T09:39:46.387" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8091" CreationDate="2013-05-23T10:07:57.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are people who argue that a child should be put on a schedule very early (Ezzo, Gina Ford) - literally days or weeks old. The American Academy of Paediatrics, however, recommends breastfeeding on demand rather than trying to stick to a parent-led schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a good article with references and pros and cons here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_parent-led-baby-schedules-baby-wise-gina-ford-and-others_3658361.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_parent-led-baby-schedules-baby-wise-gina-ford-and-others_3658361.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I think this is another of those cases where you have to play it by ear; don't be wed to any one particular idea of how things will work before the baby arrives, babies can't read parenting books and what works for one family will not work at all for another. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T10:07:57.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8091" CreationDate="2013-05-23T11:11:30.093" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;By all means try to establish a routine as soon as possible because in my experience &lt;strong&gt;a routine is a big help&lt;/strong&gt; -- but don't despair if it doesn't work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents try to establish routines after one or two weeks. For some of these parents that plan actually works out and their benefit is that they can plan their time better. However, some babies won't adapt any kind of regular routine until they're older, so &lt;strong&gt;it doesn't always work&lt;/strong&gt; and it's not worth trying to force it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A major reason why routines are good is that it allows the parent(s) to plan according to the routine. It's much easier to go for a 1-hour grocery shopping trip when you know with reasonable certainty that the baby won't need much attention (feeding etc.). It helps minimize the risk of having to find a place to sit down to breastfeed - something that can be difficult in the middle of a big store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Older babies also benefit from routines&lt;/strong&gt; because they get better sleep in terms of length and intervals, and regular feeding also helps them learn to sense &quot;I'm full&quot; or &quot;I'm hungry&quot;. &lt;strong&gt;But the age when this works varies wildly,&lt;/strong&gt; so you'll just have to try and see if it works. If it doesn't, try again 2-3 months later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T11:11:30.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8095" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-23T12:21:13.697" Score="10" ViewCount="819" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a five year old that is out of control.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I ask him to sit down and relax (because we live in a one bedroom apartment), its very frustrating because I repeatedly have to say it to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I yell at him he'll usually yell back along with my two yr old. My oldest does have ADHD so that does make it a little more difficult but I'm trying to slowly take him off the medications and put him on a natural supplement instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, just now he was sitting on the couch watching television and a commercial came on.  He went right for his brother to hit him or push him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to constantly separate them. They drive me nuts... Please help me. What else can I do so I don't have to yell anymore?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4337" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-05-23T13:16:24.660" LastActivityDate="2013-05-24T07:25:48.670" Title="My pre-schooler does not listen to anything I say or do!" Tags="|behavior|development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8095" CreationDate="2013-05-23T12:57:21.857" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The number one step would be to keep on with his prescribed medication and not to attempt to replace it with a &quot;natural supplement&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T12:57:21.857" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8095" CreationDate="2013-05-23T14:20:04.060" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel for you.  My son is only 2, and the repetition is already very frustrating.  Unfortunately, repeating yourself, calmly yet firmly, is the best way to get through to your kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the temptation to resort to yelling is hard to resist (and you're not alone! &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Survey_Finds_Nearly/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; references studies that show that nearly all parents do so at some point), I believe it sends a message to children that it is okay to yell back.  The fact that your son yells right back at you would seem to support this, and I know other parents who have experienced the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find yourself losing your calm, take a moment or two to remove yourself from the situation, gather yourself, and then come back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1925/how-can-we-discipline-a-strong-willed-misbehaving-5-year-old&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt;, while describing a situation more extreme than yours, does have some useful advice in the answers.  The key takeaway for me from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1982/420&quot;&gt;one of the answers&lt;/a&gt; is: &quot;Children key off their parents' reactions more than the argument or physical discipline itself.&quot;  I think this is fantastic advice, but it can be &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; difficult to change how you respond, especially with a defiant child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Losing privileges is probably an appropriate response if he continues to engage in poor behavior.  If he pushes or hits his brother during a commercial, the TV gets turned off (or perhaps his brother gets to change the channel to a show &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; wants to watch, instead, or even his brother can stay and watch TV, but he has to go to a different room).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking a 5 year old to sit down and relax may be expecting too much, though.  Especially if he's been diagnosed with ADHD.  Instead, try to find ways for him to burn off some of that extra energy.  Trips to the playground, games inside or outside of the house, or even a walk around the neighborhood are better alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also absolutely agree with Vicky.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you disagree with the medications prescribed for your son, find a different doctor.  Don't just pull him off the medications and devise your own treatment plan.  ADHD is arguably over-diagnosed, and I don't believe that medication is always the right course, but that's not a decision to make lightly, and you should have professional guidance in whatever course you follow.  Especially if your son is having significant behavior problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T14:20:04.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8065" CreationDate="2013-05-23T15:27:33.383" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with frightening the child, but only if you do so for the right reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right reason: it is dangerous to play on roads, so you can say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't play on the road, or you may get hit by a car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wrong reason: you don't want you child to get dirty, so you can say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't play in the garden, or the beast from the beneath the bungalow will drag you away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, if you lie to to your kids just to shut them up or control them, sooner or later they will work out what you are doing, and assume lying is ok. They may also develop unnecessary fears of bungalows, or the police, or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is nothing wrong in frightening them with the truth, in order to stop them from doing something dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, be a bit resourceful. If I want my youngest to be quiet, I say &quot;Let's play the silence game.&quot; The person who can stay silent the longest is the winner. There is diminishing returns from this one, but it can be adapted fairly easy to suit the occasion, and doesn't involve frightening or lying to your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T15:27:33.383" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8027" CreationDate="2013-05-23T15:39:49.960" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is simple:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always enjoyed reading stories to my kids. I started when they were bumps in their mother's tum. When they are born, and you can see them listening, it gets more fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh it probably aids their learning blah blah blah, but honestly, who cares? The important thing is that you are having some quality time with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-05-23T15:39:49.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8095" CreationDate="2013-05-24T00:40:59.797" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just a couple of points from my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My son was partially deaf (adenoids blocked his eustachian tubes). We&#xA;didn't know because he would usually respond but not always. Surgery&#xA;fixed it. Have your son's hearing tested.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My son was then prescribed Nasonex, a steriod to help keep his nose&#xA;clear. This made him more agresssive and gave him poor sleep. When he went off it, things improved within days. Look out for the meds that he takes - some have subtle side-effects.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My son still does not process sounds correctly (it'll take 6~18 months to catch up from his period of poor hearing). Sometimes to get his attention in a loud environment, we have to touch his shoulder before we speak. A figure-ground test can be performed to see if this is an issue.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids mirror your behaviour. If you yell, they will yell.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the ADHD meds were working - stick with them. If not, there are&#xA;literally dozens of conditions that look like ADHD but are not. We had a&#xA;pediatrician who was willing to diagnose ADHD after 2 minutes even though a psycologist had not (after spending 3 hour with him). We've been told by two psychologists that 5 is too young to diagnose ADHD.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for his agression, keep calm and consistent. Time-outs and loss of TV privileges work well. A 5 year old is a bundle of energy, TV can get them hyped up. Our 5yo son is rarely allowed to watch TV, but will play for hours with his lego. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2013-05-24T07:25:48.670" LastActivityDate="2013-05-24T07:25:48.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8101" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8102" CreationDate="2013-05-24T05:59:13.193" Score="4" ViewCount="3781" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having seen so many questions on this site dealing with the kids &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; making an eye contact, I was wondering if there are times when we should ask the kid not to make an eye contact?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember my childhood and adulthood when my father and mother used to hit me as hard as they can, and I also remember myself staring in their eyes back! That used to be my way of telling them &lt;em&gt;&quot;Huh! If you think you are physically strong enough to hurt me so am I strong enough to &quot;deal with you&quot;! Go on now, why have you stopped!&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seeing my stare my father used to yell at me saying &lt;em&gt;&quot;Keep your eyes down or I'll take them out&quot;&lt;/em&gt;! It usually didn't deter me ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I remember in schools too we were always expected by our teachers to keep our eyes down when we were being scolded! Making an eye contact was &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; taken as a challenge by the elders.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I see on this site parents always complain that their child doesn't look at them while being scolded.&lt;/em&gt; Is this just a cultural difference, or there are times when we should expect the child not to make an eye contact? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-24T12:08:20.157" LastActivityDate="2019-09-24T12:08:20.157" Title="Should we expect the kids to make an eye contact always?" Tags="|discipline|manners|eyes|corporal-punishment|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8101" CreationDate="2013-05-24T08:11:44.963" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;To be honest, I think this one is house-by-house cultural, depending on whether the behaviour desired is understanding of right and wrong, or obeying authority figures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spanking is traditionally a clear indicator of an &lt;strong&gt;Authoritarian&lt;/strong&gt; household or organisation, where the key to discipline is obedience; understanding of the issues involved are, at most, a bonus. Eye contact is an indicator of an &lt;strong&gt;Authoritative&lt;/strong&gt; household, where the child understanding why what they did was wrong is the key to discipline. See the link below for a discussion of the efficacy of the former, but the tl;dr version is that &lt;strong&gt;physical punishment is hard to do right, and using it as a first response is one of the ways to do it wrong&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you said, in your case, eye contact was a defiant gesture, and it probably could be nothing else, as there was no attempt to explain (eye contact as &quot;I will not bow my head and obey you just because you're stronger than me&quot;). If a child is looking away when you're trying to &lt;em&gt;explain&lt;/em&gt; however, that's another example of defiance (avoiding eye contact as &quot;I will not engage in this discussion with you because I doubt it's going to end well for me&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Off the top of my head, I can't think of a situation where it would be better for the child not to &lt;em&gt;understand&lt;/em&gt; why it's bad to (for example) run out into the road, sneak around with a bad crowd, or engage in any one of the millions of variations of bad behaviour. And without eye contact, it's less likely that they're taking anything in, and it's a lot harder to read if you're making progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yes, &lt;strong&gt;even if you're using physical punishment&lt;/strong&gt;, I would immediately make eye contact afterwards, and explain why you felt the need to escalate to that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if you don't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; any good answers to why what they did made you angry, then it's going to be blindingly obvious when they look at you that that's the case. But in that case, I'd recommend sending them to their room till you can articulate why you're angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://blog.lib.umn.edu/meyer769/myblog/2011/11/the-four-types-of-parenting-styles.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;4 Parenting Styles&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/464/when-is-physical-punishment-appropriate?lq=1&quot;&gt;P.SE Question - Effectiveness of Physical Punishment&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;4 Parenting Styles is a useful shorthand, but be aware that it's basically over-simplified to the point of &quot;here are 3 common ways to mess up your child, and here's how to parent responsibly&quot;. It is to the study of parenting what &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie-to-children&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;stuff falls down because Earth is big&quot; is to the study of gravitation&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-05-24T08:11:44.963" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8103" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8104" CreationDate="2013-05-24T22:57:24.260" Score="10" ViewCount="2276" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 24+ month old toddler. Over a long stretch of time, he has been a slow eater because food pools in the front of his mouth. Especially between his lower teeth and his lips this is true. Food gets stuck there and it looks like he just can't move it. Finally, after he has been coaxed to drink enough liquid, the food goes down, but feeding is a long, drawn out process because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a related note, he does not speak words. He just babbles and otherwise grunts.  He is quite a good communicator really, but just can't form those meaningful words. I mention this just in case it is related to his feeding problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could this be indicative of, his food pooling problem? Are there any notable conditions like this where I could go in and see a doctor and say he has condition X and the doctor knows what I am saying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3069" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-27T15:20:29.283" LastActivityDate="2018-10-27T15:20:29.283" Title="What could be the reason of food accumulation (pooling) between front lower teeth and lips in mouth of the toddler?" Tags="|toddler|food|teeth|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2018-11-01T18:00:06.747" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8103" CreationDate="2013-05-25T00:14:19.487" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son may have &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.asha.org/public/speech/swallowing/feeding-and-swallowing-disorders-in-children&quot;&gt;dysphagia&lt;/a&gt;, a feeding and swallowing disorder. While there may be physical problems that need to be addressed, generally the disorder is treated with physical therapy designed to strengthen the muscles involved and train the mouth and throat to function properly. The linked article from the American Speech Language and Hearing Association describes symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment. You should start with your pediatrician who will likely refer you to a specialist. Diagnostic tests will include a barium swallow test which will allow doctors to see what is happening in the mouth and throat as your son swallows. Because dysphagia affects coordination of the tongue and throat, it likely contributes to language development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-05-25T00:14:19.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8065" CreationDate="2013-05-25T01:09:18.150" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Barbara Ehrenreich addressed this issue in her book &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=C2GM_xXM3pYC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PA77&amp;amp;dq=scaring%20children%20into%20behaving%20India&amp;amp;ots=9zk7JnSHsN&amp;amp;sig=BWwvhQfXTOKAyK9CJUJA7tndxOk#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=scaring&amp;amp;f=false&quot;&gt;Blood Rites: Origins and History of the Passions of War&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; (beginning on page 92). She contends that the practice creates anxiety in children that is not only lifelong but passed on to later generations. Children are helpless and susceptible to the fears implanted by their elders not because they are inexperienced and ignorant, but because they are vulnerable. It is our job as parents to keep children safe until they are developmentally able to keep themselves safe. We should not be trying to scare them into keeping themselves safe before they are developmentally ready to do so, though we should be teaching them while ensuring their safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem with the attempts to frighten a child into preferred behaviors in the examples in the question is that the consequences  will NOT actually happen - your child will quickly discover the ruse and will cease to trust your warnings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It should be noted here that many legends, folk tales and fairy tales are designed to scare children into good behavior (think of cautionary tales like Red Riding Hood with its message of not trusting strangers), but they do so without including the child in the story - the scary thing happened to someone else and the child hearing the story learns without imagining himself in a real life scary situation, as he would if the parent threatened him with ghosts or the police.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It should also be noted that overprotecting a child can also cause anxiety (&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199409/parenting-style-may-foster-anxiety&quot;&gt;Psychology Today&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;), so while you are keeping your child safe you should be explaining to him why his behavior is unsafe (as in the example in another answer of not going in the road because a car could bump you over and it would hurt). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-05-25T01:09:18.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8107" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8109" CreationDate="2013-05-26T14:31:29.303" Score="4" ViewCount="43933" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old boy is often wetting his bed at night, and I'd rather not get back to diapers if possible. One solution I found out is to wake him up and take him to the bathroom just before I get myself to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He sleeps at around 8:30 and I wake him at around 23:00. He is then very sleepy and I wonder if I should let him sleep instead, which results almost always in a wet bed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-23T14:21:30.060" LastActivityDate="2018-10-23T14:21:30.060" Title="Is it ok to wake up my 3-year-old boy for a pee?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7662" CreationDate="2013-05-26T14:43:40.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sleep is communicative. Our 3 years old is not a good napper, and we get remarks about it from school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But during the week-ends, I can get a nap from him: I noticed that if I do nap myself, and the kid in beside me, and I tell him that he do not have to sleep, but he has to let me sleep, and get angry at him if he moves too much or makes noise, and ask him to leave our bed, then he will want to stay, and finally fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-05-26T14:43:40.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8107" CreationDate="2013-05-26T14:49:42.097" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Frankly you will be told by any professional that you should not. This is what we were told with our first 3. Over the years what we have learnt is this: limit the consumption of liquids, especially water at 6pm. By 7pm and before bed, he should be taken for a pee - this should be a ritual from now on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus you would have to build a motivational relationship between wet and dry nights. We have found stickers of the object of their attraction to be crucial. Stars, or favourite cartoon characters etc. What ever drives the motivation so that when you stay; &lt;em&gt;&quot;It is time to pee before bed&quot;&lt;/em&gt; the answer you want to hear is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Yeah!!&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also take your time to explain why you are doing all these fun things - be very patient and do not at any point make the process stressful. Do not at any time threaten to take away the rewards for any reason. Neither should you up the stakes :) Keep it fun and naturally they will make it a pattern - usually after 21 days it becomes part of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep a log book for yourself and study the variables that create a wet or dry experience. Example, it is sometimes possible the child will ask for a cup of water before bed. Make this a half cup and don't panic. Next day remind the child to drink enough before 6pm say around 5:30 or whenever you have during dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4303" LastActivityDate="2013-05-26T14:49:42.097" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2013-05-26T15:12:41.057" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think a good solution is to not allow or encourage early dates (or seeing forbidden movies, or smocking cigarettes, or sneaking out of home at night), and let these activites be on the &quot;transgression&quot; side of the life of the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In these times of so-called transparency, I might be even more old-fashioned than the abstinence proposing answers, because I don't think it is possible, and not even desirable, to be fully transparent with our kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They want to have their secrets, so just let them believe you do not know about what they did last night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another consequence of this controlled semi-opacity: I will lie when my kids will ask me if I ever tried drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if my boy comes back from a romantic walk in the fields at 2am, I'll not be waiting for him with a loaded gun, nor will I offer him a last beer. I'll sleep (on one ear, and be envious of him). And if he get caught, I'll tell him it is not ok, even if I think it actually is ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-05-26T15:12:41.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8107" CreationDate="2013-05-26T17:18:04.263" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child is often wetting the bed at night, he is likely not ready to be sleeping without a diaper or pull-ups. From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0046242/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;PubMed Health&lt;/a&gt; (US National Library of Medicine):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Nighttime bladder and bowel control develops somewhat more slowly. So,&#xA;  even once your child is dry during the daytime, it can take a while&#xA;  before they notice in their sleep that they need to go to the toilet.&#xA;  By the age of five years, about 8 out of every 10 children can also&#xA;  control their bladder and bowel at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So at first it can still make sense to continue using diapers at night&#xA;  even if a child no longer needs them during the day. If the diapers&#xA;  stay dry for several nights in a row, your child might well also be&#xA;  able to stay dry at night. This is a good time to see what happens&#xA;  without a diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further information from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK62723/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NCBI&lt;/a&gt; (National Center for Biotechnology Information) states that nighttime bedwetting up to the age of five is perfectly normal, and suggests &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if your child has been day-trained for at least 6 months, give him a&#xA;2-day trial to see if he can stay dry at night. If he does not, wait&#xA;a few months and try again for a couple of nights. Eventually he will&#xA;spontaneously manage it, when the difficult learning of managing his&#xA;toileting is ingrained enough that he can do it in his sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if your child wakes at night on his own, take him to the toilet as&#xA;this will help him get used to paying attention to his toileting&#xA;needs in a sleepy state.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While a reward system may be successful and while it might be nice to be through with the expense and nuisance of diapers, if you allow your child to come to this naturally, you don't have to make this a battle at all. If your child does manage some dry nights in diapers, make positive comments that address the accomplishment without suggestion that to be wet is in any way bad (&quot;You stayed dry last night! It's really hard to learn how to do that!&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, note that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if your child suffers from constipation it can contribute to bedwetting (NCBI)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;boys are developmentally slower at this (NCBI)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember listening to a radio show about toilet-training once where an anxious parent called in to speak to the expert, and the expert said, &quot;Ma'am, do you know any 17-year-olds who can't manage toileting?&quot; She said No, and he assured her that everybody gets it eventually in their own time - so not to stress!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-05-26T17:18:04.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3614" CreationDate="2013-05-26T18:40:18.873" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy was waking up wet a lot older than is typical, and here is what we did. We happened to have some plastic graduated beakers that held about 800 ml and were clearly marked to measure volume. I showed him how to read the volume on them and we kept them in the bathroom. I encouraged him during the day, when he was home and could go to the bathroom whenever he wanted to, to try to hold it a little longer each time and see what he could get that volume up to. This is sometimes described as &quot;bladder stretching&quot; but I think it was really more about being aware of the sensation of needing to pee, but not immediately peeing in response to it. We are talking about a child old enough to understand 3 digit numbers, a child who goes to school and goes on sleepovers etc. Not a 3 year-old, more like 5+ or 6. Old enough to pee into a cup, note the number, pour the pee into the toilet and rinse the cup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The theory was that over time, he would not just pee while asleep, but would resist the urge until it got a little stronger, strong enough to wake him up. And in the meantime he would feel that he was doing something towards waking up dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did it work? Of course. Well, something worked. Perhaps time passed and his bladder got larger. Perhaps he learned to wake up or he learned to sleep through. Perhaps doing &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; about it got the message across that he could change this, without making him feel bad for what was happening. Whatever the cause, he began to wake up dry more often than not, and then the whole thing was just a memory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly a teen is old enough to buy into something like this. It's not behaviour mod or sleep alarms, and clearly he has either less bladder capacity than those who can sleep through, or less awareness of the need to pee than those who wake up. So perhaps such an exercise can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-05-26T18:40:18.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8065" CreationDate="2013-05-27T06:11:38.407" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This technique sounds like it is painting an inaccurate (and appalling) picture of reality for the child, one that will hardly equip them with matters in the real world when they come along. This technique surely creates unnecessary fears in the child's mind, which will impinge on its happiness, and wreck its self-confidence. It sounds like a despicable and terribly out-dated way of raising children. &#xA;Even the Catholic Church has stopped the hellfire and brimstone way of spreading its message.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-05-27T20:42:16.157" LastActivityDate="2013-05-27T20:42:16.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2013-05-27T19:42:11.040" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can be considered a very oddball example, but this is just my view, feel free to ignore it.&#xA;I had absolutely no rules on dating, but have decided on them myself. I met my soulmate when I was 16. Now if I had someone impose rules on me then I would have never met that special someone. At the same time I have enforced abstinence before marriage. I felt that not being physically attached to someone can help keep a clear mind when it comes to thinking about the big commitment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not enforce any rules on my kids. Life is a test, you will never learn by following someone's advice. We are all different people, and what works for some might not work for others. Additionally I think that if I enforce rules on my children, then they will still try to do things and be secretive about it. I would rather be my child's best friend and trusted adviser, than a tyrant who is trying to prevent him from (in his eyes and opinion) having fun. I did notice that allowing a child to try whatever they want and just giving advice here and there is better rather than forcing them to do something. Additionally advices are usually followed, whereas rules are made to be broken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my two cents would be not saying anything, and only speaking when spoken to. Trust me they will come to you asking for help when you have an open and helpful mind waiting for them rather than a judgmental mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2231" LastEditorUserId="2231" LastEditDate="2015-08-12T13:52:42.810" LastActivityDate="2015-08-12T13:52:42.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8107" CreationDate="2013-05-28T09:17:36.517" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Only anecdotal, but a counter-argument to those who say that by waking him you are encouraging him to be dependent on you to stay dry - we used to take my son to the toilet in the night until he was about 7 and stopped needing it of his own accord. The hormonal changes required to slow down urine production at night don't kick in very early in some children, more common in boys, and once that has sorted itself out then it's fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do have to say that my son would barely wake up - we'd go in, say &quot;time for the toilet&quot; and usher him there (he'd often have his eyes closed), he'd do his business and we'd usher him back to bed. In the morning he didn't remember it at all. If you're really worried you can even keep a potty or jug in his bedroom and just have him pee in there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-05-28T09:17:36.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8078" CreationDate="2013-05-28T14:06:22.993" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One point I'd like to add that I haven't seen listed is that putting your child into a daycare at an earlier age allows them to learn the daycare's schedule and routine at an earlier age.  My son started in daycare at 6 weeks old and we NEVER had any trouble with transitions from room to room, knowing the staff, etc.  My daughter didn't start in daycare until she was over age 1 and it took her a LONG time to adjust to all the teachers, the other kids, their day-to-day schedule, etc.  Maybe it's just my daughter's personality, but the road was a little more bumpy for her than it was for my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't find a daycare that you feel comfortable with, then you will have to go with option 1 (father-in-law/babysitter).  I, personally, feel more comfortable putting my child in a daycare where there are many caregivers &quot;policing&quot; each other so to speak than I do inviting someone that I basically don't know into the privacy of my home where there is no one to observe them if they choose to harm my kids.  That's just me.  I have two sisters-in-law who would rather die than put their kids into daycare and both have had a number of babysitters/nannies over the years.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been through several different childcare facilities over the past five years or so because we had changes in our lives and moving and whatnot.  Here are my primary suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check to see what (if any) requirements daycares in your country/area are supposed to meet.  Daycares here in the US are pretty well regulated.  If they can't meet the minimum requirements, they shouldn't be on your list.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Schedule a visit with any daycares you are interested in.  Scheduling this time will usually allow you to ask any questions you have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once you've made your initial daycare visits, &lt;strong&gt;DROP IN UNEXPECTEDLY&lt;/strong&gt; to see how they treat the children in their care when no one is looking.  Many times, if you schedule a time to visit a daycare, they will make sure that everyone is on their best behavior, everything is shiny and clean, etc.  If you drop in unexpectedly they don't have time to do that.  You can even do it under the guise of needing to pick up some paperwork or drop off some paperwork or something.  You don't have to do this with every daycare that you initially visited, only the ones you're starting to seriously consider. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find out their student-teacher ratio.  Keep in mind that if they say that they have a 4:1 ratio that may mean they have 12 kids in their infant rooms with 3 teachers/caregivers in that room with the babies.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask if their teachers/caregivers are certified in things like first aid and CPR.  You can even ask to see proof of this because they could certainly lie to you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Certainly ask for references of families that you can contact.  If they can't give you any, that's probably a red flag.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask about their teacher/caregiver turn-over.  If they go through a lot of caregivers in a year, that's usually a sign that the teachers are unhappy working there and wind up going elsewhere whereas a more stable workforce is typically a sign of happier employees.  Happier employees usually mean happier children since they aren't constantly having to learn new teachers/caregivers all the time and all the new quirks of those new teachers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those are some basics.  There are many more.  If you can't put your child into a daycare without feeling completely comfortable doing so, then don't do it.  You'll spend all your time at work worrying about them and second-guessing yourself and generally suffering from extreme mommy guilt.  You will have plenty of opportunities to suffer from mommy guilt over the next 18-20 years, don't make picking a daycare be one of those things.  If you can't be comfortable with your decision, go with the babysitter and give yourself a few more months to find the right place.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-05-28T14:06:22.993" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8117" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8124" CreationDate="2013-05-29T00:33:00.820" Score="5" ViewCount="646" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 18ish month old baby loves to throw. She has several balls that she likes to toss around with me and her coordination with throwing is getting quite good. The problem is that she likes to throw other things too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I have gotten her to stop all out chucking things across the room, she still tosses them down onto the floor. She never does it out of anger. It's usually when she has completed a task with something for example, when she is done drinking her water, she tosses the mug onto the ground rather nonchalantly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same thing occurs with toys, when she has completed playing with a toy, she tosses it away. I have zero problem with her placing anything on the ground. She's rather good at helping mama and I clean up before she goes to bed, however I do mind the tossing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone had any success or does anyone know a method to  practice that will teach her to place things rather than throw? And also, does anyone know anyway that this could carry over between things she shouldn't throw (i.e. her mug) and things that are intended to be thrown (i.e. a ball)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-29T04:55:28.003" LastActivityDate="2013-06-27T16:18:14.427" Title="How to deal with a toddler who has formed a habit of throwing things including food?" Tags="|toddler|teaching|habits|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8091" CreationDate="2013-05-29T02:09:37.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;h1&gt;The following is mostly for when your child is a little bit older.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From personal experience only, a fixed schedule is pretty impossible. There are so many variables to account for during the raising of the child. While they may be hungry at 12:00pm one day, they could be hungry at 11:00am the next day. The same applies to bed time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children, especially very young children, are growing rapidly and I mean they make the bullet train look like molasses. Intake and frequency of food will vary often. A set schedule could maybe work for a week and then it will change heavily the next. This is what has happened with my child. The longer you go on, the better you will be able to pick up on the signs and whines of what your child wants (that just comes with the territory).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for bedtime, we have set a lower limit and then a range to adhere to rather than an exact time. Every parent is busy at night, with the completion of dinner, after bath time tasks, and other life encounters, so it may not be feasible to set a bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What my wife and I have done is set a lower limit (7:00pm) with each other of when to unfold the bedtime process. The process never starts later than 8:00pm. That is our range. Then we pick a time to start that process. This changes every single night. The process involves:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bath time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting on pajamas&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Daily hygiene (finger nail cutting, cleaning out the ears and nose)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then to bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time we reach the final bullet, my child understands what is going on and she is ready too and while she may stay up for a bit, she's usually fast asleep in about 10-20 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A helpful thing to do is, when they are older, involve them in the process. My child helps put her toys away so she understands that playtime is over. She also helps set the mood by helping to turn out all the lights as I take her to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Summary&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For mealtime, while you can get in a set routine, be flexible. Flexibility is the key. Sometimes it will work and sometimes you'll have to go with the flow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For bedtime:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set a lower and upper limit. Allow the starting of the process within that range.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At the start of the routine, follow it through to completion. (Consistency)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Involve them when they are old enough&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pattern shouldn't take long to grab hold of. If you lead, they will follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T02:09:37.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8119" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8123" CreationDate="2013-05-29T05:55:10.830" Score="6" ViewCount="2480" Body="&lt;p&gt;My all relatives have been telling me that the inside of the womb is warm so when the baby comes out he needs to be wrapped from head to toe in warm clothes so that he doesn't get ill due to the temperature difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would have followed that advise without being skeptical if it were cold here.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The room temperature here is &lt;em&gt;37 degree Celsius&lt;/em&gt; and the outside temperature is &lt;em&gt;45 degree Celsius&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;With this temperature range does it still make sense to follow that advise?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If yes, then for how many days?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that advise based on any scientific facts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T07:10:03.423" Title="Do we have to wrap an infant in the warm clothes after his birth?" Tags="|infant|health|clothes|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8120" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-29T06:13:07.780" Score="3" ViewCount="11690" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Room temperature: 37 degree Celsius&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Outside temperature: 45 degree Celsius&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1814/2221&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1814/2221&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't bathe small children too often, especially not daily! There's a risk they develop a skin condition like dermatitis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have heard several recommendations about giving daily an oil massage to the infant. It is said to strengthen his muscles and bones etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dabur.com/Products-Consumer%20Health%20%28OTC%29-Dabur%20Lal%20Tail&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.dabur.com/Products-Consumer%20Health%20%28OTC%29-Dabur%20Lal%20Tail&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dabur Lal Tail is an Ayurvedic Baby massage oil made from time tested ayurvedic ingredients which has many proven benefits for the Baby. &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Its massage helps in strengthening baby's bones and muscles&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; and is proven safe and effective for better overall physical growth of babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Doctors from the Pediatrics department of Jawaharlal Nehru College conducted a clinical research under stringent rules and measures where the effect of massaging a baby with Dabur Lal Tail was compared with the effect of other massage oils, talcum powder and no massage. In the research, it was clearly proven that babies who were massaged daily with Dabur Lal Tail in comparison with no massage experienced 2 times faster increase in weight and height.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clinical Research further proved the positive effects of Dabur Lal Tail massage in inducing better sleeping pattern in Neonates and Infants, which is very important for a baby’s development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if I oil massage him daily will I not have to bathe him daily too? Will it make sense to oil massage him daily and bathe him once a week? Any precautions to be taken in this case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-06-01T19:30:11.940" Title="How to balance between giving an oil massage and a daily bath to an infant?" Tags="|infant|health|bathing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8107" CreationDate="2013-05-29T06:27:17.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our toddler was going through a bedwetting phase, we just started waking her up when we went to bed later, and taking her to the loo. Actually, waking up is too strong a word, as she was normally still half asleep. It stopped her wetting the bed, and a couple of weeks later we stopped waking her up. If the bed wetting started again, we would start waking her up again, but in all honesty, it soon became a thing of the past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this instance, I would say ignore the experts!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other suggestions about limiting drink intake before bed are also good. Basically, this aspect of child-rearing is definately not in the rocket science department.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did still have a sticker chart, but I'm not sure that it didn't do more harm than good. I remember her being really upset when she accidently wet the bed the night before her four week free chart was full. Poor little mite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the phase didn't last too long, as phases go. And remember you can always buy those special sheets if you are worried about the mattress. I wouldn't advise them in hot countries though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T06:27:17.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8120" CreationDate="2013-05-29T06:35:45.973" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oil massages are relaxing, and it's sure to be a good experience for the baby. But it won't &lt;em&gt;strengthen his muscles and bones etc.&lt;/em&gt; &amp;ndash; that's a myth.  Muscles are improved by physical training (or, questionably, also using steroids or electrical stimulation). Bones are improved by calcium intake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, &lt;strong&gt;a bath is not always necessary,&lt;/strong&gt; it depends on the amount of oil used, and what kind it is. Some oils are easily absorbed into the skin = no bath needed. If a significant amount of oil remains on the skin after several minutes, then try using less oil next time. If oil still remains, you can rub down the baby with a soft towel. If that's not enough, a bath is probably a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T06:35:45.973" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8119" CreationDate="2013-05-29T06:40:38.933" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reasoning behind the wrapping is that the birth is quite an environmental change to the baby:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You're safe in a nice and warm and soft womb, but suddenly this is replaced by light and air and space and hands and surfaces. Wrapping the baby gives some comfort (although not all babies like being wrapped, they enjoy their newly-won freedom). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're in a very warm climate, you can wrap the baby in thin soft sheets. That should be enough. &#xA;In colder climates, one could use towels or thicker cloths instead.&#xA;Regardless whether the baby is wrapped or not, make sure that the baby is &lt;strong&gt;not&amp;nbsp;too&amp;nbsp;hot or too&amp;nbsp;cold.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can feel &quot;too hot&quot; at the neck; the baby should feel nice and have a normal skin temperature, and not sweat. &quot;Too cold&quot; is easily noticed by touching the hands/fingers/feet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can wrap the baby like this for several months, as long as it's comfortable for you and the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-05-29T12:57:36.103" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T12:57:36.103" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8117" CreationDate="2013-05-29T07:03:11.907" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My immediate thought is that she is still very young - she is only just discovering her abilities, and being able to change one's surroundings gives great satisfaction. At 18 months, I would not expect her to be mentally able to understand the difference between things that are &lt;em&gt;meant&lt;/em&gt; to be thrown and things that are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; meant to be thrown. For now, you can chuckle and say you've got a barbarian on your hands (throwing an emptied mug is very barbaric - in an epic-movie sense of the word). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realistically though, you should continue to explain to her whether the object she just threw was meant to be thrown. Eventually she will understand it (but even then she might not feel like following that wisdom). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she develops even more skills, the attraction of throwing things (even those meant to be thrown) will probably diminish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T07:03:11.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8125" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-29T08:26:43.747" Score="10" ViewCount="266181" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 18 month old girl and for the past week she keeps waking up in middle of night (sometime between 12:30am and 3am) and screaming/crying/moaning for hours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing seems to stop her. She keeps grabbing her hands and wriggling about. This doesn't happen during the day, or when she wakes up in the morning; she is always smiling and very happy. I'm not sure if anyone has had this or not? Its the grabbing her hands that makes us think she is in pain but we can't tell..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4352" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-05-29T20:03:49.890" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T13:48:48.837" Title="How to deal with a toddler who wakes up screaming during the night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8125" CreationDate="2013-05-29T09:28:32.403" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my friends daughter had the same issue. The Doctor told them to put her to sleep after 10 PM so that she sleeps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, have a bed time ritual. The lights should be made dim. You can read stories and sing songs. May be she can have a toy to sleep with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meditation helps. You can meditate and imagine that she sleeps well daily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4353" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T09:28:32.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8125" CreationDate="2013-05-29T10:25:00.003" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does she wake up every night at the same time range, e.g. say between 10 and 10:30?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that is the case then try waking her up before she starts crying e.g. at 9:50, and spend some time like that with dim lights, soft voices and let her sleep after half an hour. This works if the girl has a nightmare. My nephew had nightmares and this worked!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has some stomach pain or something it's best to consult a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4297" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2013-06-03T12:30:04.200" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T12:30:04.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8119" CreationDate="2013-05-29T17:07:29.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The womb is 37 degrees, so there is no temperature difference.  It certainly feels different in liquid compared to air, but wrapping in cloth doesn't provide the same experience as being in liquid, except insomuch as it traps your perspiration, which doesn't seem like a very good idea in your circumstance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In those sorts of temperatures, I would be &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; more concerned with the baby getting too hot than getting too cold.  You should get the advice of people local to you on how they deal with it.  How humid or arid your climate is will make a difference.  People with air conditioning or who live in different climates will have a different experience.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-05-29T17:07:29.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8065" CreationDate="2013-05-30T04:49:18.933" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To directly answer the title question: Yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you have here is an adult searching for a system of control over the kid. It is plainly nothing more than a way to control the child. It has been said here taht once the kid wises up to this aspect, it will cease to be effective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, in addition to that, they will also have lost respect for the adult. They will not honor any requests and over time will grow to expect bloviated statements, even look for them. And as a teen (maybe sooner) will start seeing them even when they're not there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are much more effective ways to get a kid to do what you want. If this is your child, I'd say that you'd have to immediately turn over a new leaf. If they're old enough to hold a conversation on the subject (6+) then you might do just that, trade thoughts, then try to avoid doing it any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;If, however, this isn't your kid, and you hope to use these posts to support a conversation with the actual parent, I would suggest that you don't. Parenting can be a touchy subject, and (even if they're family) holding an Evidentiary Hearing with someone to prove that their parenting needs improvement... well, that would just plain end badly. In this situation, the thing that works with my friends and family is a plain statement of my observations, followed up with opinion and clear statement of what I think the consequences will be, then ending with &quot;I'm just trying to help&quot;. Then I never bring it up again.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2016-04-24T00:36:28.497" LastActivityDate="2016-04-24T00:36:28.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8132" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-05-30T05:27:56.417" Score="5" ViewCount="691" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last year I was almost killed by a freak heart condition (that I now know is a genetic issue and I won't ever be out of the woods) and while we kept my daughters away while I was in ICU and having bad days, they definitely got a real sense of danger. They both know it was almost a disastrous outcome and I think it is affecting my eldest now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is 6 and a good student in year 1. She is not an overly confident kid, but she has friends and tries very hard to do well. She hates getting in trouble and seems to enjoy learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every morning at school drop off (which I do ~3 days per week, work depending) there are issues. Some days terrible (lots of tears, teacher coming to get her) and other days are 'ok' (she goes of her own accord, but has to be told to go.) We never have incident free days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every morning she has something to worry about and if she doesn't, then she seems to try and think of something to worry about. This morning it was a sore finger, but she didn't think of it right away, there were a few seconds of silence before she blurted 'but my sore finger!'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have kisses and cuddles and I then have to coerce her into leaving me and joining her line (she has small assemblies every morning with each class sitting on a line.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some mornings she is properly crying and that makes things so much worse because she gets totally paranoid that everybody is watching her cry, so it just snowballs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I fear that we are now in a habitual routine. I don't know if it is still anxiety surrounding me and my health or whether she has been doing this for so long that it has become the norm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if we get to school nice and early, she won't leave me to play with her friends, she'll stay with me until the bell rings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's extremely concerned about how people will see her. If we have a sports day, she will need us to take her usual uniform with her in case she has the wrong clothes on (i.e., there was a change in the days and today is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; the sports day anymore.) Sometimes she needs to see the other kids wearing the same uniform before she will want to get out of the car. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will worry about wearing leggings in case she gets hot, so she takes socks with her also. Again, all powered by worrying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has had some teasing and some rejection from some groups. Nothing over the top, no 'bullying' as such, just given a bit of a hard time about the tiny wart on her nose (which has almost gone now.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is scared of computer class because the teacher gets cranky and she feels like she's in trouble. (When she has been in trouble in class before, she was mortified, to the point of not being able to talk about it with us - TOTALLY traumatised by it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This morning, we were a little late so I walked her to the classroom and I gave her no opportunity to get upset, very quick kiss and a gentle push into the classroom, as soon as she was in there, she was fine. She needs to have the chance to worry removed from her options. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm really not happy with the school's handling of this, the teacher is quite hard and last year little was done also. She's definitely not a 'mainstream' kid and I can't help but feel a private alternative school would be a better option, but that means meeting all new friends again and that might be more dangerous to her right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After writing all this, I'm wondering if this is more a general 'worry' issue and not so much separation anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is also the same with my wife, but she tends to get the tears more than I do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would love any advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4362" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-01-31T13:06:02.830" LastActivityDate="2019-01-31T13:06:02.830" Title="My 6 year-old daughter gets separation anxiety due to my medical problems" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|separation|anxiety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8032" CreationDate="2013-05-30T05:37:09.617" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a couple of answers here already, but so far nothing touches on the gorilla in the room: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your relationship with your father is damaged. He knows it, you know it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your relationship doesn't sound completely broken (alcohol, abuse, anger, hate, etc.), just a little worse for the wear. You've seen the divorce and had to deal with an overbearing man. But now you're an adult. You have your own personality and as you said yourself, you have your own plans. &lt;em&gt;(You were probably thinking about the trivialities of a Saturday afternoon when you typed that, but IMO it was a rather Freudian statement.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I don't hear &quot;distance&quot; in your post, I hear &quot;weariness&quot;. It seems that there are certain aspects of the relationship that have become tedious. Nobody wants to feel that talking to a close family member is akin to doing the damn dishes... &lt;strong&gt;again.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, the good part is that it's not like the weather. When the weather is not what you want, nobody can do anything about it. When a relationship is not what you want, you absolutely can fix it. It's uncomfortable and nobody truly knows how to do it, but I will tell you from my own experience as the father in a similar situation, it takes guts to start the conversation and perseverance to finish it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;My opinion: You have to talk with him (not us) about the things you mentioned here.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You love him like your father, but you're not a kid anymore.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is clearly one of your concerns. Who doesn't want to live their life free of someone interjecting? Explain this. Explain that he doesn't have to protect you from the world anymore. Explain that you have goals and the ambition to achieve them... I suppose that if you're staying with mom for reasons other than the utilitarian (rent is too expensive, haven't gotten a job related to your education, etc) you might change that last part a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would, however, suggest that you remember that he's old enough to be your father and that he probably has some useful thoughts on 'things'. In other words, don't forget to ask his advice on things every now and then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You love him like your father and you're not playing favorites by staying with mom.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is clearly one of &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; concerns, otherwise he wouldn't call you all the time about nothing. Hell, maybe you are playing favorites, but he needs to at least know that he's divorced from her, not you. You can absolutely have a great relationship with someone and only talk to them 4-5 times a year. A great relationship doesn't really need weekly maintenance. I believe that your relationship with your father can be like that, you both just have to get used to it after X number of years of being there daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you know what else? It's not a convo that has to drag on for an hour, or needs a special appointment. Take him up on a movie and lunch offer or make the offer yourself. Then during lunch you bring it up... make your points clearly and talk... but let the convo flow... and you might just learn a little something about each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2013-05-30T05:43:19.763" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T05:43:19.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7966" CreationDate="2013-05-30T05:52:02.903" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answering the question: Yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stop watching television and movies for relationship advice. They typically have dysfunctional relationships that are written by someone that is a great writer because they were in a dysfunctional relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hooked up with my current wife when her son was 5. I couldn't stand that kid until he was about 18. We had a mutual distaste, but he did what I said when it was warranted. He accepted (may not followed) my advice when he needed it. And one day, before he turned 18, we worked it aaalll out. Ever since then, it's been, I think, what we both always wanted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're psyching yourself out. If you keep telling yourself &quot;this is going to just blow to smithereens any day now&quot; then it will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: just be the best dad you can be and the rest of that crap will fall into line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T05:52:02.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8075" CreationDate="2013-05-30T06:04:00.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ooohhh... The Talk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think I've ever had The Talk about anything with my kids as I don't approach it that way... it's uncomfortable and unnatural and I like it just as little as they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my house, if a subject even remotely comes up, I just follow thru with the flow and just say what can be said. It comes off as natural and it's informative without being uncomfy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With this approach, I've managed to dispense info on a number of things (sex, drugs, rock n roll, masturbation, theft, etc) at ages that would probably not be considered &quot;appropriate&quot;... but, since it came from a natural evolution of communication (like a surprise joint smoking scene in a movie... hey, it happens) I've found that the information sticks. A number of these conversations over the years later, and I find that my older kids have made socially appropriate decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question: I don't think any age is &quot;too early&quot;. But you do have to know your kid well enough to talk to them in a way they'll understand, whenever that conversation takes place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T06:04:00.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7958" CreationDate="2013-05-30T06:23:56.467" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Patience will be learned by experience. If you're patient with him when he incessantly asks about things, he will eventually 'grok'. At 2.5, he's not about to calm that stuff down, but I would expect 'predictable patience' within the next year or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The real reason for my post is secondary:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm no medical professional, but if this is a predictable pattern (especially if you can prompt it) then he may have something else going on there. I would suggest that you at minimum keep an eye on this development. I don't know that you could get anything from any kind of assessment at this age, but I don't think it could hurt if you have suspicions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T06:23:56.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8119" CreationDate="2013-05-30T07:10:03.423" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wrapping the baby also has a lot to do with comforting as well as keeping bub warm. Wrapping helps the baby settle and feel comforted and they usually sleep better when wrapped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a read about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/video/why-babies-startle-so-easily.aspx#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;startle reflex&lt;/a&gt;. Wrapping helps to avoid this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With such warm temps, consider using muslin or some other kind of very breathable wrap. I've always followed the principle of the baby should wear what I would wear, + 1 layer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1956" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T07:10:03.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8125" CreationDate="2013-05-30T07:12:52.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has been going through something similar with nightmares at 24 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've found it has helped to get a brighter night light (the one we previously had was quite dim) and now she also has a little torch next to her bed that she can use when she is scared that something is in her room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1956" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T07:12:52.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8139" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8141" CreationDate="2013-05-30T08:35:30.267" Score="2" ViewCount="16903" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always noticed that my kid &lt;em&gt;(not born yet)&lt;/em&gt; is mostly active &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;at night&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; in the womb.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just wanted to know that will this activeness pattern have an effect on his sleeping schedule when he comes out? Is there any relation between the two? If yes, then how to counter it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T21:35:48.347" Title="Does the kid who is active at night in the womb retain his night activeness once he comes out?" Tags="|infant|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8132" CreationDate="2013-05-30T09:11:36.810" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bless her little heart; what a scary thing to go through.  And bless y'all's hearts too; this sounds absolutely horrible to have gone through.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you looked into therapy?  Sounds like something that a professional who has dealt with grief and trauma issues might have some insights in handling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T09:11:36.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8139" CreationDate="2013-05-30T10:21:08.957" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the things that your unborn baby does respond to is movement, so during the day it is constantly being rocked as you move about. At night when you are resting or lying down, that will not happen so much, so perhaps the baby is not being rocked to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, we noticed with our three that many of their movement habits persisted for at least the first few months, so you may find that your baby does stick to the same pattern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Countering it is not really relevant - for the first few months be driven by your baby: sleep when they sleep, feed them when they want feeding, etc. as you will find that they don't pay attention to day length until quite a few months in. Instead they may work on a 2 hour cycle, or a 4 hour etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T10:21:08.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8132" CreationDate="2013-05-30T12:41:52.953" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my oldest was having trouble being dropped at daycare, I moved the decision for how long I would stick around at dropoff onto her. (She was about 3 iirc.) We didn't have a traumatic experience like yours complicating things, but I think this might help for you. I simply told her that each morning I would stay until she told me to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The immediate effect was that the 5 or 10 minutes we spent together were no longer spent with her telling me not to go yet. She didn't need to do that, because I wasn't going to decide when I left. I also reminded her &quot;I always go, and I always come back.&quot; I realize that part of what is freaking all of you out is that you're not sure that's true. But any one of us could be hit by a car etc, and we tell people we will be coming back, so I think you could try to say something like that (and mean it) for both your sakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first few days we did this she made me stay a long time, I think to prove that she really could. After that the dropoffs got much quicker. Occasionally I would suggest &quot;don't you think it's time to tell me to go?&quot; But there wasn't much need to do it. We were both more relaxed at dropoff and it worked very well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I worked it out with the daycare staff first. They had to be ok with me hanging around for hours the first day if that's what it took. (It was probably 30 minutes.) You may have a small issue with the school, or with whatever you go on to after school dropoff, but if you can get all of them to agree to a few days of disruption, in order to achieve the rest of the year being smooth and predictable, I'm sure they will agree. Especially the teachers who know she's reacting differently in the mornings than other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T12:41:52.953" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8139" CreationDate="2013-05-30T13:06:16.937" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the best things you can do for yourself as a parent-to-be is understand the physical and mental aspects of newborn sleep and prepare yourself for the differences from adult sleep. There are many books on the market which explain the reasons why newborns sleep the way they do which you may want to read for more in-depth information. In summary of those books (as I am not a sleep expert nor a doctor, so the books are all I have to go on), however:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) While newborns sleep around 16-18 hours out of every day, this sleep is broken into stretches of 2-4 hours around the clock. Newborns do not have a concept of day versus night until their day-night sleep rhythms mature at 6 weeks. According to the pediatrician I see a newborn's longest stretch of sleep is 4 hours. If you wake your newborn to eat at the 3 hour mark during the daytime you can preserve this 4 hour sleep for nighttime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Newborns first fall into light, active sleep. This period of light and active sleep lasts for 15-30 minutes. This is why a new parent might get a newborn to sleep and then be surprised to find that the baby wakes up instantly on being put down. Between 3 and 4 months this pattern will change and the baby will fall into a deep sleep at the first part of the sleep cycle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) An infant sleep cycle lasts about 45 minutes as opposed to an adult 90 minute sleep cycle.  Half of this time is spent in REM sleep and half in non-REM.  Non-REM contains 4 stages of sleep: drowsiness (eyes may be open), light sleep, deep sleep, and very deep sleep. In those 45 or so minutes babies will cycle from 1 to 4, then back to 2, then REM. That's a lot of time &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; spent in deep sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Babies vary wildly in their sleep personalities. Some newborns have a very difficult time learning to sleep, some seem to have been born to do it. And even a good sleeper early on may &quot;wake-up&quot; in the 3-6 week range and become more difficult. Work with your baby on sleep, don't expect to change him or her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborn sleep is very difficult, but thankfully the newborn phase is short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T13:06:16.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8144" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8153" CreationDate="2013-05-30T14:35:33.817" Score="13" ViewCount="114439" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is about my second daughter, who is now 2 months old and happily smiling at me ^_^  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An awful lot has happened with my 1&lt;sup&gt;st&lt;/sup&gt; daughter since she was born...I've forgotten quite a bit about the ages at which infants should start turning, lifting their heads, when they should be at what weight, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But something tells me my second daughter is &lt;em&gt;fast&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;strong&gt;Too&lt;/strong&gt; fast, perhaps, which is why I'm asking this question here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's been fast with everything so far. She was born in under 1 hour, doubled her weight in two weeks, started lifting her head almost immediately after birth (she can hold it up and control it completely now), and since a few weeks, when I lie her down in bed on her belly, she's starting to show signs of wanting to go crawling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But here's the thing. Lately, she starts squirming and showing general signs of being displeased. There seems to be nothing in the world I can do to please her at that moment, except...help her stand on her legs. When I do that, she turns all smiles and becomes happy once again. Her stance is quite firm already; I can sometimes even let go for a sec (which she thoroughly enjoys, obviously). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, as a good parent, I want to stimulate everything they indicate they are ready for. However, there's this gnawing concern I have when letting my daughter stand like that...&lt;strong&gt;she's barely 2 months old!&lt;/strong&gt; I vaguely remember some doctor saying to me in the past that stimulating the legs, hips and back at too early an age can cause deformations later in life, because not all the cartilage has turned to bone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this true? What should I do here? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2946" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-06T12:16:04.310" LastActivityDate="2019-08-06T12:16:04.310" Title="Can it be harmful if my 2-month-old daughter tries to stand?" Tags="|newborn|development|health|standing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8144" CreationDate="2013-05-30T14:49:19.123" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the exact same issue with my son. I Googled and found that pediatricians &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.about.com/od/yourbabyweekbyweek/ss/baby_wk_twtyone_4.htm&quot;&gt;do not consider it problematic&lt;/a&gt; to let the baby hold up its own weight if it can, much to the delight of my little one. And to the horror of all other family members who come from countries where it's almost considered child abuse :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T14:49:19.123" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8146" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8151" CreationDate="2013-05-30T14:50:37.577" Score="2" ViewCount="5382" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8141/2221&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8141/2221&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;One of the things that your unborn baby does respond to is movement, so during the day it is constantly being rocked as you move about. At night when you are resting or lying down, that will not happen so much, so perhaps the baby is not being rocked to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This made me wonder that do we really &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; some kind of cradle for the newborn?&#xA;Does it &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; help in making the baby sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it possible to make the baby sleep without purchasing any cradle? If yes, how?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. Cultural difference:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Infants/toddlers are not allowed to sleep separately from parents, no question of even letting them sleep in a separate room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T19:10:28.230" Title="Does a newborn *need* some kind of cradle?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8147" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8149" CreationDate="2013-05-30T14:51:05.687" Score="3" ViewCount="288" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently moved to another country (Germany). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is currently learning to speak in our native tongue (Dutch). She doesn't go to school yet, and kindergarten is also still half a year away. So, in all, she doesn't get a lot of exposure yet to German-speaking people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do try; we go to these get-togethers for kids (&quot;Krabbelgruppen&quot;, as they are called here, a sort of play group for preschoolers, organized by parents), so she has at least &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; exposure to kids here. She's too young to &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; interact with them though (she mostly plays with us or alone), so the few words of German she knows, come from the songs they sing collectively there :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I know everything will work out just fine once she goes to kindergarten; I know she'll suck it up like a sponge. However, we often visit people in our village, and of course, she wants to ask for a cookie politely, as she was taught. She asks this in Dutch, of course, which is sadly often not understood by the person she asks it to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I feel we should teach her at least &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; German at this stage. However, my wife and I are definitely &lt;em&gt;not proficient&lt;/em&gt; in German yet (actively learning!), so I've been really reluctant to teach my daughter this little bit of poor German I know. We also don't know enough people here well enough to ask this sort of thing from them...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, we're in a bit of a bind. What best to do in such a situation? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2946" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-05-30T15:20:35.163" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T16:01:04.710" Title="How can we teach our pre-schooler enough of a second language to cover basic manners?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8146" CreationDate="2013-05-30T15:34:41.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being rocked will help many babies sleep, but it certainly isn't necessary for all babies.  The warmth and comfort of close proximity is enough for some (most?) babies.  Anecdotally, my son easily fell asleep so long as someone was holding him, regardless of whether we were rocking or not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/rocking-the-baby-does-work-say-scientists-studying-crying-youngsters-heart-rates-8578961.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Rocking&lt;/a&gt;, however, is a definite help when the infant is being fussy, and/or actively resisting sleep.  It's still not the only option, of course.  Swaddling can be just as effective for many kids, and there are methods of carrying and rocking an infant that can work wonders without the need for a crib or rocking chair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that, cultural differences notwithstanding, co-sleeping (having the infant sleep in the same bed as one or more parents) is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.marchofdimes.com/baby/care_sleeping.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;not recommended&lt;/a&gt;, due to a demonstrated increase of risk of suffocation or SIDS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, having the baby sleep in the same room, in a separate crib, cot, or bassinet is recommended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.isisonline.org.uk/sleep_health/sleep_aids/bedside_cots/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Side-car cribs&lt;/a&gt; that attach to your bed are another possibility, although the safety/risks of these does not seem to have been sufficiently researched, and organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics don't recommend their use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T15:34:41.483" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8147" CreationDate="2013-05-30T15:57:55.020" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make it a game is my advice, make it fun. You have a ready-made reward system as well, break a cookie into pieces and give her one every time she asks for it right in German. Get her to learn the german for &quot;yes you may&quot; or the equivalent, so she can give you a piece when &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; say it right. As soon as it sounds like work you might lose her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T15:57:55.020" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8146" CreationDate="2013-05-30T19:10:28.230" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In his popular book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553381466&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Happiest Baby on the Block&lt;/a&gt;, pediatrician Harvey Karp lists 5 &quot;s&quot;-es that help calm fussy babies as they adjust to life outside of the womb:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Swaddle tightly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Being placed on the stomach (not recommended for sleep due to the connection between back sleeping and a decline in the SIDS rate)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Swing/sway (this is where the cradle comes in)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shush (some people make a shushing noise themselves, others use fans, dryers, hair dryers, or a white noise track)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Suck while nursing or on a pacifier&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get a swinging/swaying/rocking motion from many other things than a cradle.  You can rock your child in your arms by swaying them back and forth.  You can - and I'd watch a video of this first to make sure you get it right to avoid injuring your child - lay your child on your lap out over your extended knees and gently jiggle your child.  You can sit in a rocking chair and rock your child.  You can use a swing.  You can use a bouncy seat.  You can use a cradle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, though, all forms of &quot;motion sleep&quot; are something that your child will need to be weaned off of.  During the newborn phase you have to do whatever you have to do (that is safe for you and your baby) to get sleep for the whole household.  However if you have a child who is content sleeping in a crib or other still, flat surface you should embrace this.  It is one less transition you will need to make later.  But if your child hates sleeping in this way, then a swing, inclined sleep surface such as a Fisher Price Rock 'n' Play, or a cradle may be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T19:10:28.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8139" CreationDate="2013-05-30T21:35:48.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I discussed a similar question with my midwife: &quot;WHY does he keep waking up when I'm ready to sleep!!!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her answer was that there is typically not a significant difference in fetal activity, but rather in how still the mother is being. If I am walking around, or even sitting but paying attention to some activity (driving, watching TV, etc.), then I am less likely to notice minor baby movements. If I am lying still, especially trying to relax or sleep, then every twitch or kick will be more obvious. So a moderately active awake period for the baby can seem like an &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; awake period if I'm in bed, whereas a moderately active awake period may be unnoticeable if I'm very active. (It's also possible, of course, that you actually &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; noticing an extremely awake period, but consider the possibility of maternal perception affecting the &quot;measurement&quot; at such times.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is not any particular way to encourage an unborn child to sleep at a particular time that I ever found, much to my dismay when pregnant and tired :-) It is very unlikely that you can encourage more daytime awakeness before birth. In any case, newborn sleep cycles are not tied to either day &lt;em&gt;or&lt;/em&gt; night; the baby will be wake up for attention around the clock.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T21:35:48.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8144" CreationDate="2013-05-30T21:44:19.583" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my sons loved &quot;standing&quot; at an incredibly early age. My mother-in-law was horrified and assured us this would cause a bow-legged stance. Our pediatrician confirmed that leg or hip deformation is caused by nutritional deficiencies (vitamin D) or congenital defects, rather than too much weight on developing bones. (So the solution was to not let the boys pretend to stand when Nana was around... easy enough!) Ana's link is great for laying out the issue :) Feel free to let her stand, jump, and bounce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ironically, and not necessarily relevant: All that infant standing had no bearing on their eventual walking. My older son was walking at around 11 months, his younger brother waited until almost 15 months. (Their legs were equally strong, but the littler just didn't trust his balance as much.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T21:44:19.583" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8154" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8175" CreationDate="2013-05-31T05:26:00.000" Score="4" ViewCount="1294" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have noticed this very often. I have seen babies who are cheerful ever.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;My brother in law's daughter has &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; (not literally though) been seen crying/fussy etc.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;While as my brother's baby son is &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; fussy/crying.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In hospitals too I have noticed the pattern with the visitors. No, I am not talking about ill babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I would like to understand what causes such huge temperament differences among babies.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing more I have noticed is that the fussy babies are usually weak and the ever cheerful babies are mostly healthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this related to health?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is this genetic?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-06-02T15:02:47.533" Title="Why are some babies always fussy and crying while others are always cheerful?" Tags="|toddler|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8155" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8158" CreationDate="2013-05-31T07:37:13.080" Score="8" ViewCount="516" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a working person I may not be always near my kid.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also, it is a possibility that he may not tell me that he has been undergoing bullying somewhere because of fear or some other reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How would I get signals about him being bullied somewhere?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;OR  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I teach him to tell me if he's being bullied and by whom? &lt;em&gt;Before that how do I teach him what is bullying?&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is an appropriate age to talk about the same with the child?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Kid isn't born yet.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-05-31T07:46:09.807" LastActivityDate="2013-05-31T14:41:12.297" Title="How to know whether your child is being bullied?" Tags="|behavior|education|age-appropriate|bullying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8155" CreationDate="2013-05-31T08:44:17.273" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was growing up there were times when I was troubled but I didn't tell my parents because I wanted to deal with it on my own, and I didn't want to worry them. I was also concerned that if I told them I would lose some of my freedom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how do you know? You &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt;. One of the things you have to accept about being a parent is that you cannot control everything, and you cannot fix everything for your child. Your child won't always want to tell you everything, they are people after all and have their own sense of privacy. If you try to control and fix everything they're likely to resent you, or they won't learn to fix their own problems. This isn't always easy to accept, in fact it's one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. I knew it conceptually before my kids were born, it's putting it into practice that is the tricky part. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you have to do as a parent is to form good lines of communication with your kids, give them the skills to deal with situations, and building experiences that will make them confident in themselves. Then bullies won't matter, they'll deal with it on their own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-05-31T08:44:17.273" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8154" CreationDate="2013-05-31T11:57:34.157" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer (and apologies to MetaFilter): babies are weird.  Personality is something that starts developing from day one, and it is influenced by both genetic and environmental components.  My daughter's a more apprehensive person than my son, and while generally happy as a baby, wasn't of the super-bubbly-isn't-life-grand outlook on life and could be VERY fussy (and at nearly 5, is better but still doesn't look at new situations with positive anticipation).  My son was a &quot;Gerber baby&quot; in the parlance of our families; super cheerful, loved surprises and new things, would happily be held by anyone.  He never went through the bad separation anxiety that she did, and is generally a more relaxed individual when it comes to new situations.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're both super-healthy squirts, and get personality traits from both sides of the family.  The daughter, while unhappy with changes to her schedule and routine, also has never met a stranger, which is TOTALLY like my father and TOTALLY unlike me and my husband.  My son is rather unflappable, just like me, but can flip out when he's frustrated, just like his father.  It's fun to see the different personality traits show up and realize just how individual each child is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-05-31T11:57:34.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8155" CreationDate="2013-05-31T12:20:43.140" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;At first you need to know which kind of bully your kid may suffer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ability&lt;/strong&gt;: Some kids get bullied because they're outstanding in some area, or just by being different from the average.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Faction&lt;/strong&gt;: Some just get involved in some unneeded dispute somehow, whether out of initiative or negatively.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Personality&lt;/strong&gt;: Another reason is an uninviting personality.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, you have to classify first. It can't be too difficult as his parent, and here are hints you can give to launch the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ask your kid if he is proud of his specialities, and what his classmate think about it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;who is his best friend, and what he admires most about that person.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tell him the most embarrassing thing you have done in class, and find a good situation to ask his.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;ask who he thinks is a kind person and why. Teach him that one should give others a dose of their own medicine, i.e. know to be a great but self-discipline person.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;you don't have to teach him to tell you something; just let him know how to be a good person and to be confident in his own values.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bully is not scaring at all but disastrous point is its destruction of one's confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4367" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-05-31T12:29:37.390" LastActivityDate="2013-05-31T12:29:37.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8155" CreationDate="2013-05-31T14:41:12.297" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/warning-signs&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;StopBullying.gov&lt;/a&gt; lists the following warning signs, although they caution not every child exhibits symptoms:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unexplainable injuries&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, a lot of those symptoms have other causes than bullying.  It's helpful to cultivate an open and honest relationship, starting well before you need it.  Kids will keep things like this from you if they are afraid you will overreact. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-05-31T14:41:12.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8160" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8184" CreationDate="2013-05-29T08:13:48.020" Score="13" ViewCount="1458" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll be home on pregnancy leave for 4 months.  We can't plan outdoor trips. I'll be staying at home with only two people around (during day time) - me and the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I find time during this break so that &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; mind is rejuvenated and at the same time I don't feel that I am wasting time?  In particular, how do I balance time between my baby and myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Clarifications:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The chores like washing dishes, laundry, mopping floor etc. aren't a trouble for me since we have a maid for these tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have any friends who could take care of the child. My mother is though interested in rearing the child herself for some months in her own house. I not willing to give away my child to anyone else for long durations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleep is NOT a way of relaxation for me. The things which would actually relax me are &lt;strong&gt;software development&lt;/strong&gt;, photography, and meditation at home. I usually do not sleep at day time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" OwnerDisplayName="user462608" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-07-12T15:58:53.760" LastActivityDate="2013-07-12T15:58:53.760" Title="How can I find time to relax during my maternity leave?" Tags="|newborn|parents|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-05-29T10:09:34.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can try tutorials or online videos on recent programming techniques. Reading tech books will make sure that the four month break will not leave you blunt when you return to the job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can spend the time constructively and pursue soft relaxing hobbies to rejuvenate, like learning a new skill, cooking a new dish, crochet, knitting and what not. These things keep ypur brain sharp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read more parenting books, so that you know what to expect in the coming days. Better still join a forum or follow a blog with parents in your stage. Finally take time to look at your child and relax. This break is something your body deserves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll say you'll be lucky if you can do all that. Many newborns gives their mommas restless nights! The best thing would be something that keeps your job skills sharp, yet doesn't tire you when the break is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4297" OwnerDisplayName="Shaima" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-06-01T19:18:56.033" LastActivityDate="2013-06-01T19:18:56.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-05-30T14:58:02.827" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't expect to have much, if any time for activities other than caring for your baby. Taking care of an infant is normally very time-consuming, and should be prioritized before hobbies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you can do though is get a really good smartphone you can bring with you at all times; it could serve as a digital hub for staying up to date with news, communicating with friends etc. at times when the baby sleeps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4172" OwnerDisplayName="Gruber" LastActivityDate="2013-05-30T14:58:02.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-05-31T10:41:40.773" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, congratulations!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking at your interests and your quaifications, one idea came to mind - an online album of your pregnancy and the growth of your child - for privacy, you could make access to this for your family and close friends only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alongside that, you could crete a forum, online class for other new parents to be able to do the same or perhaps develop a template for other new parents to be able to do the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Damien Igoe" LastActivityDate="2013-05-31T10:41:40.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8164" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8165" CreationDate="2013-05-31T19:11:36.073" Score="16" ViewCount="10438" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a mother in law who always makes uncomfortable comments about things we've purchased, such as our TV. We're a single income family with two children living in an apartment.  We have no debt and are saving for our first home and for our children's college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These comments especially seem to upset my wife, who has guilt issues, who had to deal with this growing up and never wants to spend money on anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to try and figure out a way to handle this going forward so our kids aren't affected. When she says something critical about our things how should we respond?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4368" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-27T14:32:21.917" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T16:18:30.550" Title="Mother in law making us feel guilty about money" Tags="|parents|money|adult-child|grandparents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8164" CreationDate="2013-05-31T19:37:30.673" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming that you are not spending beyond your means, I'd be inclined to bluntly explain how you can afford the things you do (e.g. putting away a little each paycheck to save up for big purchases, budgeting your income with certain portions earmarked for the types of purchases she comments on, simply making enough above your regular expenses to be able to afford to splurge occasionally, supplementing your income with investments, etc.).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're teaching your children specific financial lessons (if not, I find &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/category/parenting/&quot;&gt;this blog&lt;/a&gt; to have some fantastic suggestions), share this with your MIL, and explain how your purchases are in keeping with the lessons you're teaching your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't take the hint, though, and persists in making negative comments (entirely possible; some behavior, particularly criticism of children, can become so ingrained that it becomes nearly reflexive), you may have to make her uncomfortable with your responses before she'll be able to evaluate whether she needs to change her behavior.  Its important that you do this without offending her (or your wife!) if you want to maintain a relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To do this, you might try putting the implied criticism back on her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain why the purchase wasn't actually a problem (as above), but then take it a step further, assume that she's merely projecting her own problems on to your family, and offer to teach her how to apply those same lessons to her own finances.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she says something like &quot;that TV must have been too expensive&quot; or even &quot;I can't believe you wasted so much money on that TV&quot;, you can reply with something like &quot;it really wasn't that difficult since we planned ahead for our purchase, and saved up for it. I've been teaching our children about the value of setting aside a little bit of money as part of long-term planning for big purchases, and this is a concrete example for them.  If you'd like, I could give you some pointers on how to manage your finances like this, too.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if you are at or close to the limit of what you can afford, it may be a bit difficult to present it this way (and you may have to give some serious thought to whether her criticisms have some merit).  In this case, you may have to simply say &quot;we've decided that this purchase was worthwhile; if you disagree, please find a different way to express it, as you're coming across as being very critical and it is upsetting.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-05-31T19:37:30.673" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8164" CreationDate="2013-05-31T22:13:14.320" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we were newlyweds, my wife also had trouble spending savings.  Her parents had drummed into her over and over the importance of saving, but never taught her when it was okay to spend or not.  I think that's because they are somewhat impulsive spenders themselves, and feel guilty themselves, so they project that onto their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did was instead of one savings account, we split it into several categories:  retirement, children, clothing, vacation, gifts, health, auto maintenance, home maintenance, and Christmas.  We also have individual &quot;allowances,&quot; which we can save up to spend on whatever we want without having to ask the other.  That's where things like TVs, hobby supplies, and new cell phones come from.  That helped immensely in helping my wife feel better about spending, first because we planned that spending all along, and second because she knew we weren't sacrificing future things we needed to be saving for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So keep in mind your mother-in-law can't see all the planning you do behind the scenes to be able to afford something.  Especially if she tends to spend impulsively herself, she is likely to assume your purchase was impulsive, and is legitimately worried for you about the consequences that inevitably follow spending beyond your means.  Shedding some light on your planning might help assuage her fears, if you're willing to forego the privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may also be that she has different priorities than you, or is worried yours are misplaced.  She may be thinking that if you could afford a new TV, then you would have moved into a house by now, or got a bigger car, or some other expense she deems more important.  If she brings up priorities like that, perhaps it would help to explain it in relative terms, like &quot;We saved $100 per month to get the TV, but we'd need $500 a month more to get into the house we want.  We're not sacrificing a house to get a TV.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I prefer the &quot;none of your business&quot; approach of, &quot;We're doing fine.  You don't need to worry about our finances.  We've got it under control and prefer to keep the details to ourselves.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-05-31T22:13:14.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8164" CreationDate="2013-06-01T01:11:18.253" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your mother-in-law is crossing boundaries. The best way to establish boundaries is to answer with few words (your script) and try not to veer from them. Try a genuine &quot;Thanks for the input, Mom&quot; or &quot;Thanks for worrying about us&quot; or just a &quot;Hmmmm.&quot; This acknowledges that she is trying to be helpful without defending your position or assigning any value to her comments. Stick with your script - the first few times you do this she will try to wear you down, but stick to your script. She will learn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a brilliant book about changing patterns in relationships by Harriet Lerner called &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.harrietlerner.com/pages/dance_of_anger.htm&quot;&gt;The Dance of Anger&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;. It is a classic - your local library probably has it or they can borrow it for you from another library (there are 3000+ copies listed in the World Catalog). It describes how every relationship is a dance, and if you don't like how the dance is going, you have to change your steps. The book is ostensibly written for women (because perhaps women have a harder time with boundaries), but is useful for anyone. The thing I appreciated most about the book at the time I read it was that it gave you example after example, so by the end of it you really felt you could do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this would be greatly helpful in your relationships with your mother-in-law, establishing boundaries will also improve the relationships your children have with her (they will have boundary issues with her too if you can't steer things otherwise). It will also help you in establishing boundaries with your children, who I promise you will go through stages of nagging to get what they want!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-01T01:11:18.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8120" CreationDate="2013-06-01T19:30:11.940" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Plenty of studies have shown the benefit of parents massaging their babies. It helps them to feel close. The baby very literally feels the parent's love as a tangible thing. Typically the baby sleeps better, eats better, and is less likely to be ill if they have significant skin contact every day. Also on a practical level you will notice any symptoms or physical changes in the baby and be able to treat them or seek treatment for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, it doesn't really matter what you use for the massage. The passage you quoted didn't say their oil made an improvement over other oils, or over powder. Only over no massage at all. And the improvement wasn't strong muscles and bones, but gaining more weight. You can use an oil if you like, or just stroke the baby's skin. One day you can use oil and the next day the bath soap during the bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The worry about over-bathing a baby is related to a situation in which the baby is really not dirty - there are no oils, sweat, or dust to remove yet the parents keep soaping and bathing them. Some of them will react badly to that. However if your baby is oily, washing the oil off is a fine thing to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I recall correctly, your baby isn't born yet. Trying to accumulate a large number of hard-and-fast rules like how often to do something is about the only kind of learning you can do now. But once you have an actual baby in your arms, one with skin that either smells and feels clean and wonderful, or looks, feels, and smells like a bath is required, you'll know whether to bathe that baby or not. Some people insist on following schedules and practices without observing whether they're needed or not, and the answer you linked to was telling those people not to just blindly bathe on a frequent schedule. Take your lead from what the baby needs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-06-01T19:30:11.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8169" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8171" CreationDate="2013-06-01T19:34:12.743" Score="3" ViewCount="9770" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in France, I understand it's common for kids to stay on formula until age 3. I've heard they stop around 2 in the US? Anyway, our current routine for our 2y9mo daughter is a bottle in the morning and one in the evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she still need formula? Or, more precisely, what would be lacking (or gained) by cow's milk? Does it need to be whole?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much milk should she be drinking per day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastActivityDate="2015-08-22T06:46:17.873" Title="When to stop using formula, and how much cow milk to give?" Tags="|toddler|food|nutrition|milk|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8125" CreationDate="2013-06-02T01:52:55.093" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;While this may be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000809.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;night terrors&lt;/a&gt; (a sleep disorder in which a person quickly wakes from sleep in a terrified state), there are differences in your daughter's case:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Night terrors CAN begin as early as 18 months, but this is very rare.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Night terrors usually last 15-30 minutes, not hours.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should probably take your daughter to the doctor for a checkup. Until her appointment, keep a diary of all episodes - what time she went to sleep, what time she woke, how long she was awake, and anything unusual you notice (like hand-wringing). Detailed information will help your doctor find the right diagnosis and the right treatment. The doctors may ask you to spend a night with her in a sleep lab so they can see for themselves in order to make a proper assessment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't put it off - you are both losing too much sleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Linked source: Medline Plus/ National Institute of Health&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-06-02T03:07:28.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8169" CreationDate="2013-06-02T03:01:35.143" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants be fed&#xA;  breast milk or iron-fortified formula during the first 12 months of&#xA;  life. Between ages 4 - 6 months, certain solid foods may be added.&#xA;  Breast milk or iron-fortified formula, along with age-appropriate&#xA;  solid foods and juices during the first year of life, provides more&#xA;  balanced nutrition... (Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002448.htm&quot;&gt;Medline Plus&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Toddler formulas are offered as added nutrition for toddlers who are&#xA;  picky eaters. To date, they have not been shown to be better than&#xA;  whole milk and multivitamins. They are also expensive.  (Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002447.htm&quot;&gt;Medline Plus&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Young children who drink cow’s milk increase their stores of vitamin&#xA;  D, but decrease their iron levels. According to the study, “The&#xA;  Relationship Between Cow’s Milk and Stores of Vitamin D and Iron in&#xA;  Early Childhood,” in the January 2013 issue of Pediatrics (published&#xA;  online Dec. 17, 2012), two cups of cow’s milk per day is sufficient to&#xA;  maintain adequate vitamin D levels for most children, while also&#xA;  maintaining sufficient iron stores.  (Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/Advice-to-Children-to-Drink-Their-Milk-Should-Come-With-Recommended-Amounts.aspx&quot;&gt;AAP&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_135032.html&quot;&gt;disagreements&lt;/a&gt; about the fat content of the milk a child should drink (some say whole milk in small children because they need the fat source to fuel growth, some say that reduced fat milk is better past age 2 because saturated fats are not good for weight or artery health, and recent studies debunk the link between whole milk and obesity in children.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also issues regarding the hormone content of milk and its effects on development in children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It has been postulated that ingested estrogen in food derived from&#xA;  sex-hormone-treated animals may play a role in earlier development of&#xA;  puberty and increasing risk of breast cancer. However, no studies have&#xA;  supported this hypothesis in humans. (Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/130/5/e1406.full?sid=1af2837a-6401-426a-a9fa-cc73b9321c39&quot;&gt;AAP&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there is a movement afoot that suggests people should not drink cow's milk at all (they don't in many countries), but the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001973.htm&quot;&gt;NIH&lt;/a&gt; has found no evidence that it is bad for humans as long as there is no allergy, lactose-intolerance, or anemia (see the link for symptoms).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-02T03:01:35.143" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8172" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-02T03:27:19.530" Score="-2" ViewCount="145" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son uses a palate expander and the side prong has broken off. Since it's so late I can't call the dentist but my son is very upset because he doesn't want to have to get a new one or prolong the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the side prong really necessary?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4372" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-06-02T11:12:42.810" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T05:22:56.233" Title="Does a damaged dental brace need repairing?" Tags="|teen|teeth|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8172" CreationDate="2013-06-02T11:09:57.830" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think what you mention is some kind of dental brace (&lt;a href=&quot;http://goo.gl/cEVyy&quot;&gt;Google search result&lt;/a&gt;) and I edited your question a little. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not a dentist, but these things are shaped that way for a reason. It follows that &lt;strong&gt;its components are all necessary,&lt;/strong&gt; or else they wouldn't be there. After all, this is not a toy or a gadget that would benefit from any artistic additions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't panic because it's weekend, but make an appointment early the following week. They usually make room for &quot;emergencies&quot; like this (as opposed to planned, routine appointments).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever it was that fell off, &lt;strong&gt;needs to be replaced.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;&quot;Prolonging the process&quot;&lt;/em&gt; is more likely if you ignore this because the part has purpose that is no longer performed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-06-02T11:09:57.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8154" CreationDate="2013-06-02T15:02:47.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While fussiness can indicate underlying problems, it is less a sign of weakness than a sign of sensitivity. If a baby is sensitive to noise (even a particular sound) or bright lights or certain textures, he may become fussy in those environments. It's his way of telling you he's uncomfortable. Sometimes it is difficult to figure out why he's fussing, but as you try things, you learn more about your baby. Children may outgrow some of their sensitivities as they age, but some will stay with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a body of psychology dealing with highly sensitive persons. You can read a little about it in this article from Psychology Today: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creative-development/201106/the-highly-sensitive-child&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Highly Sensitive Child&lt;/em&gt; by Maureen Healy&lt;/a&gt; or on this website: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hsperson.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Highly Sensitive Person&lt;/a&gt; written by Elaine Aron, a researcher in the field of Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-02T15:02:47.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8125" CreationDate="2013-06-02T18:04:49.057" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a term &quot;aggravation&quot;, I hope you know it. Any kind of problem she is having have a aggravation time of 12.30 - 3 AM. Most of the time it's suffocation but it does not seem like she has this problem, but if she is wriggling or doubling up, it may be due to colic. It would be wise to keep an eye on her potty and review her diet but if everything seems fine then you should consult your pediatrician ASAP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Amelioration measure: try to hold her with her belly resting on your shoulder or press her belly with your hand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have more concerns to be considered let us know in comment, be descriptive if you do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4374" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2013-06-03T11:56:28.193" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T11:56:28.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8172" CreationDate="2013-06-03T05:22:56.233" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ya of-course, the side prong is the core working piece in buccal cavity expander/palate expander, without it you can't obtain the purpose of installing the palate expander. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4374" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T05:22:56.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8179" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8180" CreationDate="2013-06-03T09:50:44.787" Score="1" ViewCount="1681" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a software engineer working in India. I live with my wife and younger brother who is preparing for management studies. Yesterday I dug into his computer and I was shocked when I found that he is having a relationship with my cousin's daughter, who is graduating in English and Dance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have started my married life 6 months back so I am not experienced enough to handle this kind of situation. From their chat history I was able to figure out that they have been in  relationship for the last two years. There were also some messages that say the girl once consumed all the medicine available in her house (I guess she was trying to commit suicide). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone please suggest what to do in this situation? If I share this with my cousin, that too looks dangerous. If I share it with my parents I am afraid that my brother will not able to face them if they talk with him. I am not properly aware of my brother's state of mind so I am little afraid to talk with him too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age of my brother : 26&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age of my cousin's daughter : 21+&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why was I looking through his computer records : Once my computer was not working properly, so I was browsing web on his computer. I was searching a site in history of browser, where I see there were more than expected url for Facebook messages. I just clicked on one, and Facebook was logged in so I got access to all messages interchanged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes he was aware of that, at that time he was in same room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why I feel there is a need to intervene: Because this is so wrong. I mean how can he do it with cousin's daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why this question is related to parenting: because my young brother lives with me, and it's cultural here that older brothers watch out for the younger ones when parents aren't around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1068" LastEditorUserId="2679" LastEditDate="2013-06-07T19:41:27.410" LastActivityDate="2013-06-07T19:41:27.410" Title="How to handle an unethical relationship" Tags="|relationships|extended-family|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="11" ClosedDate="2013-06-03T13:47:38.700" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8179" CreationDate="2013-06-03T12:53:58.437" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a situation like this, it's a bit complicated to give suggestions: we don't know how each person will react, how upset each one will get, and how is the relations among everyone involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In those situations, &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;(and can't garantee that it's the best way, or that it will work with someone else)&lt;/em&gt; prefer to talk to each person a time, to feel what the reactions will be, how each person think and deals with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I would begin talking with my brother, discuss everything with him, see what he really feels and it he knows what she feels. Perhaps stimulate him to bring up the situation to your sister. If he is afraid to do so, say that you would help. But, after talking to him and before talking to anyone else (your sister, your parents), discuss with the sister's daughter how would be the best way to solve it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she considered commiting suicide before, she could commit when everybody discovered the situation. Would never talk to anyone else before letting her know and agree. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, perhaps, just talking to your brother and to her, everything could be solved, they could end up the relation, and no one else would need to know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T12:53:58.437" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8132" CreationDate="2013-06-03T13:39:06.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bless her!  What a horrible thing for her to have to go through!  It's understandable that at this age she might not be able to properly articulate all her fears and confusion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I think that the &lt;em&gt;primary&lt;/em&gt; cause of her angst is certainly your incident last year, I wonder if she isn't also suffering from some bullying or teasing at school as well.  If her anxiety were purely stemming from her fear of &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; never returning, then she probably wouldn't be melting down when your wife drops her off as well.  Since the other kids at school can clearly see her having these meltdowns, and you've mentioned that she is also conscious of their attention during these times, she might also be suffering from being called names.  This will only contribute to her unwillingness to join her class and go to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if no teasing or bullying is occurring, if she doesn't even want to leave your wife on days she drops off then she has clearly expanded her worry and fear to not only encompass you, but also your wife and possibly other people you don't even know about yet.  No child should go through life worrying that their parents aren't going to come home--even if there's not an especially good reason for that worry.  If it were me, I'd find a good child psychologist or counselor trained to deal with children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On another level, if finding a counselor or psychologist isn't possible, you might try taking her with you to a doctor's appointment.  I assume that since this is a genetic condition you see your doctor fairly frequently for monitoring.  Your doctor might be able to offer reassurances and let her know that you're being well cared-for.  I would certainly discuss it with your doc before you just show up with your daughter (some docs do not have the bedside manner to handle freaked-out 6-year-olds and will only make the situation worse).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until then, it might be time to have a sit-down where you discuss the situation as openly as you possibly can with a 6-year-old.  You say you tried to shelter your kids during the midst of the crisis, but, while you and your wife have moved on, your daughter doesn't seem to have the same sense of closure.  Mentioning to your daughter that you've noticed that she seems to have a hard time in the morning when you drop her off at school, asking her if she worries that mommy or daddy is not going to come back, asking her if she's worried that daddy will get sick again, etc.  She can answer these questions, but she probably needs someone else (whose older with a broader vocabulary) to articulate for her everything she's feeling.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T13:39:06.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-06-03T14:16:15.477" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I tend to agree with Gruber on this one:  &quot;you&quot; time will be minimal.  Keep in mind that you're going to spend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;15-20 minutes nursing/feeding your child probably 6-8 times per day (possibly more) for the first couple of weeks--this could be as often as every 2 hours depending on your child.  Also, some kids just take longer to eat in general and that doesn't take into account growth spurts and cluster feedings.  Some days, you feel like all your kid does is eat.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then there are diapers to change (10-14 diapers per day on average initially; 2-5 minutes per diaper change depending on the diaper being changed and taking into account any clothing/bedding changes that may need to be performed in case of leakage/blowout and/or any general baby maintenance like umbilical stump cleanings that need to be performed).  If you are using cloth diapers, you will probably have more diaper changes than average since they are less absorbent than disposable and must be changed pretty promptly when wet/dirty.  And unless you all ready have experience changing diapers, you'll be pretty slow at it at first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tummy time (shooting for 1 minute per day initially but working up to a total of an hour a day by the time your baby is 3 months old [the hour should not be at one time, but spread out throughout the day]) and...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;General playtime when your baby is awake.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then at some point one would assume &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; would want to eat at least a couple of times during the day and possibly shower (10-15 minutes per activity)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The average newborn sleeps about 13-16 hours per day.  Some of that will be at night; much of it will be in the daytime at least in the beginning.  Most parents I know use the time when baby is sleeping to do things like run a load of the ever-growing pile of laundry or get some dishes washed, but if you have someone else doing that for you then you could, hypothetically, squeeze some meditation in there.  Maybe.  There is no guarantee that your child will be one who sleeps for long stretches at a time. At any rate, by the time your baby is 4-6 weeks old, he/she should be spending more time awake, which means you will be his/her primary form of entertainment for those periods of wakefulness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now might be the time to expand your love of photography to encompass your newborn?  I mean, your baby is only going to be a newborn once!  You could do some software development if you were willing to wear your baby in a soft carrier while he/she is sleeping.  My daughter was insanely collicky and my husband would put on our Moby and wear her while she slept so he could work (doing software development).  Some research suggests that baby wearing leads to better sleep for the baby and can help babies who are especially fussy.  Well-designed infant carriers can even allow you to nurse your baby while wearing them (if you choose to do that sort of thing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to note that, while you may not consider sleep a form of relaxation, when sleep is lacking it suddenly takes on a whole new gravity to your existence.  Rejuvenating the mind involves rest--something you're not likely to get much of with a newborn around.  You could follow the &quot;Sleep when the baby sleeps&quot; rule.  If the baby takes a nap at 3:00 in the afternoon, then so do you.  Even though your sleep pattern will not be anything like what it is now, you'll still be getting more sleep than if you didn't and this is a good thing.  Despite my many years of post-secondary education, I never &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; knew sleep deprivation until I had kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Balancing &quot;me&quot; time with &quot;kid&quot; time is a skill many parents struggle with even when their kids are a lot older.  The answer sort of hinges on what you do with your &quot;me&quot; time.  For some people, me time is zoning out in front of a tv or reading a book. For others, me time is taking a hike.  I have a friend whose husband's &quot;me&quot; time is going and playing soccer a couple of times a week.  If there is something you really enjoy doing that requires a few hours a week, then talk with your spouse/partner about how you are going to schedule time to accommodate it once your baby arrives.  That's right:  schedule it.  Maybe on Sunday afternoons he watches the baby while you go out.  If your spouse is not supportive of you leaving the house for your &quot;me&quot; time or if your hobby is extremely time-consuming, then you might have to find a new activity.  I have friends whose husbands are not comfortable watching their kids on their own.  For most of us, I think our hobbies have been relegated to the post-kid bedtime hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that even if you have to temporarily suspend a hobby for now, it doesn't mean that you can't pick it back up again when your son/daughter is older--and maybe by that time they'll be old enough to participate in your hobby with you.  And it doesn't mean that you can't still be involved in a hobby, you just can't dedicate as much time to it, or your involvement can't be as intense.  If you LOVE acting and perform with a local theater, perhaps you can't be on-stage for now, but that doesn't mean that you can't design their playbills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2013-06-04T15:23:37.013" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T15:23:37.013" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8147" CreationDate="2013-06-03T16:01:04.710" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have mentioned that school is only a half-year away, and that you're confident (rightly so, I'd say) that she'll pick it up when she's there. Beside exposing her as much as you can to other German speakers, I don't think there's much you can do. At this age, she is imitating her parents, and since you're not speaking German with her, she's not going to start on her own. Be patient and praise her for wanting to be polite, and the rest will come in due time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Side note: I speak English exclusively to my daughter, but since we live in France and her mother is French, I'm the only one. She understands me but doesn't want to speak English. Focus on the Dutch now, because once she loses interest in it, it may be hard to get it back.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T16:01:04.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-06-03T16:04:57.650" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It will be difficult, if not impossible, for you to get much time for yourself in the first few months if it is just you and the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially in the first month or so, you'll be struggling to find time just to sleep.  Your entire routine will be overthrown, and it will be hard enough just finding time enough to do basic necessities while balancing the baby (e.g. simple tasks like bathing, feeding yourself, sleep, getting dressed, etc. will frequently have to be crammed into moments when the baby is sleeping).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of strategies that you can use to maximize what little time you'll have during these weeks:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Establish a schedule&lt;/strong&gt; - Disclaimer: your baby will have his/her own schedule, which will largely dictate your schedule.  Additional disclaimer: your baby will regularly &lt;em&gt;change&lt;/em&gt; their schedule, and by extension, yours.  Flexibility is essential.  Still, once you have an idea of your current routine (i.e. how often the baby naps, and for how long; when the baby feeds), you can start identifying pockets of time that become opportunities for you to use for your own needs.  These breaks start off short, but frequent.  Over time, they will become longer, but less frequent. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Plan ahead&lt;/strong&gt; - In addition to planning how to use the gaps in the schedule, you should start early.  In fact, start before the baby is even born.  Identify tasks that your spouse or family members can and and willing to do, and arrange to have them take over as many as possible (e.g. someone does laundry for you on weekends or in the evening; someone else cleans up the dishes in the evening/morning; etc.).  If you have enough freezer space available, a great strategy is to pre-make 1-2 months worth of frozen meals, and then freeze them until needed during your leave.  We had friends and family come over about 3 months before our son was born to fill our chest freezer with 2 months worth of meals for both my wife and I.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get help!!!&lt;/strong&gt; - This is the single best strategy for finding time for yourself, if it is an option (it won't be for everyone).  Frequently, friends or family will say things like &quot;let us know if there's anything we can do to help.&quot;  Don't be too proud to take them up on this offer!  Even someone coming over for an hour or two to keep an eye on the baby while you're in the other room getting a nap/reading a book/watching a movie/debugging code will be a help that you will appreciate.  Other possible forms of assistance friends and family can provide include running errands for you, delivering meals, helping with basic chores around the house, or even just delivering your mail (this may be more important than you may expect, particularly if the circumstances of your delivery prevent you from walking up/down stairs for a few weeks).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edits in response to clarification of the question:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sleep is NOT a way of relaxation for me. The things which would actually relax me are software development, photography, and meditation at home. I usually do not sleep at day time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleep is a &lt;em&gt;prerequisite&lt;/em&gt; of relaxation.  Sleep will quickly become a scarce commodity for you, and it will likely be difficult, if not impossible, to maintain your previous habits (such as not sleeping during day time).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first, your baby will not sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time, and will need to be fed, changed, and cuddled in between their naps.  This doesn't stop at night time; you will be up at least 2-3 times each night for several weeks.  If you only sleep at night, and only sleep when the baby sleeps, you will quickly become too tired to do anything approaching relaxation during the few breaks you have during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Software development, as you know, requires an alertness of mind that sleep deprivation will make extremely difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mediation, on the other hand, may be a more practical alternative.  I find that meditation can be very restful.  However, I also find that meditating while very tired usually is a good way to fall asleep :)  Keep in mind though that you may very well be holding your little one while they sleep.  This may be difficult to do while achieving deeper relaxation states during meditation (I can't even sleep while holding my son, let alone meditate to any extent beyond basic breathing exercises).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Photography will be an option, though.  You'll have many, many opportunities for pictures of your baby :)  If you find photography relaxing, you'll have more good shots than you can count!  Just make sure you have plenty of storage space on your camera (or film, if you prefer).  I would suggest placing multiple cameras in strategic places throughout the house, if at all possible, to take advantage of those chance opportunities.  It is exceptionally difficult to get newborns to pose the way you want them to (at least while they're awake!), but if you are ready, you'll be able to catch some wonderful candids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-06-04T13:03:17.600" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T13:03:17.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-06-03T18:03:35.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife had the same doubt before the labor. She was in the end of her PhD, she managed to end it on February and our little girl was born in March. She is getting help from both grandmothers, she likes to take care of the house, and she barelly has time to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And she still feels she is not doing a good use of the time, because even not having much free time during the day, she feels she's loosing her time because she can't see any improve in her career, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What has worked is reading: take the time to read things that you'll need later. Improve your knowledge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2013-06-03T18:03:35.363" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2013-06-03T21:00:02.953" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a great article on age and when to starts kids on martial arts.&#xA;Every style is different, every association is also different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found it to be dojo specific. The instructors needs to gear the class for the different age groups as each stage of life has developed certain aspects of one's body and mind. The head instructor in Japan, who teaches goju ryu karate, instructs to kids and adults, however, he doesn't change much, except for fine details, among the two grUops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am trying to work a kids karate class from 4+ with adults for the beginning portion of the Saturday adult karate class; it is tough. I want to use traditional karate conditioning and warmups, but the average young child less than 9 or so won't find it engaging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a dojo breaks up the class in 3 or 4 age groups they are more than likely to get a great class for each group then trying to mix them together. Usually from ages below 5 or 6, it is pre-karate; many drills and exercises are just jumping, rolling, kicking, punching, dodging, running...these will help once they begin karate as whatever age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They key with any age is trying different schools and arts, I know some places do not have many, and that makes it challenging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4376" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-06-04T12:35:15.883" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T12:35:15.883" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8189" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-03T21:58:18.560" Score="2" ViewCount="287" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 month old daughter has suddenly lost interest in eating her solids. She has never really been interested in food however we were in a good routine and she was eating the foods I was giving her, mainly tomato based foods i.e pasta, beef casserole. She would also eat some toast at breakfast time and puree fruit a snack time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the past week or so she has stoped opening her mouth to eat or will only open it slightly and wont take anything of the spoon. After doing this a few times she will start pushing the spoon away. With her toast in the morning she will just break it up and throw it on the floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has been a little unwell and my husband believes that this has caused her to loose her appetite, however I can't help but feel that it's more then that and not sure what is the best way to get her back on track with her eating. She is bottle feed which she is taking 3 - 4 bottles a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advise or assistance with this would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4377" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:56:15.073" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:56:15.073" Title="11month old baby has lost interest in eating solids" Tags="|infant|eating|feeding|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2013-06-04T12:20:59.970" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8190" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8201" CreationDate="2013-06-04T02:02:03.513" Score="13" ViewCount="3945" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was out for 5 hours and my mom put a pull-up on my 25 month old daughter who refused diapers at 19 months. She never used a pull-up before though she has 2 cloth trainers that are thick but they still made her feel wet. She did pee in the pull-up btw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took them off her as soon as I noticed. The past 3 pees have been straight to the floor waiting for a diaper to catch it. She didn't even tell me she peed which she used to do because we do have a lot of accidents when she is distracted or doesn't want to stop playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm really trying not to make a big deal out of the diaper because I don't want it to be this power struggle thing now but I am definitely ticked that her training is going down the drain - pun intended. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anybody else (unfortunately) gone through this? What did you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="17352" LastEditDate="2016-03-18T10:42:25.957" LastActivityDate="2018-07-18T11:35:54.267" Title="Grandparent put a diaper on my toilet trained child" Tags="|potty-training|diaper|grandparents|consistency|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-06-04T02:18:06.873" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only way to &quot;balance the time&quot; is to actually carve the time into your schedule and ensure that the baby is under care you trust during that time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Nike slogan says it best - &lt;em&gt;Just Do It&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And do whatever it is you want to do to feel rejuvenated. Those are really personal choices and may change on your whim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are options even if you want to breastfeed. I didn't follow this and I am (still) breastfeeding but I know a mom who breastfed exclusively following the &quot;Ezzo method&quot; where the baby's feedings were scheduled. Mom loved the routine and the baby flourished - great eater, great weight. I am terrible with routines and still nurse on demand. I have to physically leave the house to get &quot;me time&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know another mom who exclusively breastfed the first few weeks then pumped and fed the baby with the breastmilk through a bottle. The baby did not get confused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only you can determine what balance - it may not be exactly 50/50 - feels right and what constitutes as not wasting time. Don't be afraid to schedule in your time right from the start. Newborns sleep so much you will have many opportunities to figure out how to feel rejuvenated. Good luck and congrats!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T02:18:06.873" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6848" CreationDate="2013-06-04T12:10:33.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could not agree more with @balancedmama. And here are my 2 cents that I have kept reserved for my 3 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading many articles and viewing many shows in discovery etc, I am thinking that, speed and balance are 2 things that can make a strong base for further physical developments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where balance can be brought effectively by yoga and  gymnastics, I have copied a technique to improve reaction time from a research episode of discovery on martial arts, to design a little gadget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here I will only speak about my design and idea for improvement of speed and reaction time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1 or 2 years ago, I was viewing an episode on martial arts which calculated their skills in terms of numbers. And the way they calculate the speed is really interesting. They have a pole with 5-6 pads sticking out with a light on every pad, the participants were then made to hit the corresponding pad as soon as light beeps and records have been made of their reaction times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I don't think I have to detail my idea and design. We can simply adapt the above idea to practice and I am damn sure it will work a miracle if practiced from an early age. We can replace the light with bells to make hearing as sharp as viewing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4374" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-06-04T22:55:04.377" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T22:55:04.377" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8190" CreationDate="2013-06-04T12:42:17.797" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Potty training is so fun with kids. It's one step forward, two steps back, three steps forward, a shuffle to the side...  In short, this sounds like one of the usual stops along the route towards full potty training.  I don't see that you're doing anything wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried to talk with her about it?  I don't know how verbal she is; my daughter was VERY verbal early, but my son (who is about your daughter's age) isn't nearly as able to express himself in words.  Maybe she has a concern about pottying that you might be able to figure out (for example, my daughter was scared to go potty because she didn't know what happened to the waste after the flush; once the process was explained, she felt much more sanguine about the whole thing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thought: if she has a particular attachment to a character that might be on underwear (our daughter is NUTS over Thomas, so she trained in boys' underpants :&gt; ), maybe go ahead &amp;amp; take her for a big-girl shopping trip to get big girl underwear, and explain that Dora (or whoever) doesn't like to get wet.  That worked for my niece like a charm; a bit less luck for my daughter but it still helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And be kind to yourself; potty training is very much a curvy path rather than a straight line, and there will be all sorts of obstacles that pop up along the way.  Most kids do not go to college in diapers, though, so chances are she'll work this out and it'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T12:42:17.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-06-04T12:58:11.183" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had all these grand ideas of working on software dev while my daughter was brand-spanking-new, but unfortunately they went right out the window 'cause I need time to dive into the logic and I could only get part of the way there before another feeding or change was required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I did get a LOT of photography done.  Of her.  Toes, fingers, eyelashes (oh man those EYELASHES); I did lots of macro work when she was really little.  I also would wear her (Moby FTW!) and go to parks or just outside and do photography that way.  She'd sleep like a champ in the Moby and I'd get some quality time with her while doing something I loved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T12:58:11.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8197" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8199" CreationDate="2013-06-04T14:08:55.820" Score="15" ViewCount="7269" Body="&lt;h2&gt;My step-son keeps comparing me to his biological father, and I don't know why.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been in a relationship with this woman for almost 3 years. She has been married previously and has a 6 year old son. I have a great relationship with her son. He loves me so much and trusts me a lot; there hasn't been any conflict between him and me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel, however, his biological father is irresponsible:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He left his Mom when she got pregnant and had to stay home while he had to work and provide.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is about 29 years old now and he is still in school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He doesn't have a car and he lost his driving license due to DUI several times.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He lives in his gf's apartment and works in a restaurant.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast, I'm from a wealthy educated family, I am educated and have a great job with great pay, and I feel I don't have a lot in common with my step son's biological father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My step son sees me as his role model; he always tells people that he wants to be like me when he grows up, and he once told me that his dad is smart but I'm smarter than his dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is something that he often brings up and I don't understand why: His dad is 6'4&amp;quot; and I'm 6'2&amp;quot; and he often tells me that his dad is a little taller than me. I always act cool about it and acknowledge that, but he keeps telling me that every couple of weeks, anyway. &lt;em&gt;Why is he doing that?&lt;/em&gt; Sometimes he says that his dad has more hair than me too. I'm cool with the facts but when it happens frequently, it kind of gets on my nerves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I once talked to him about his comments, and he said he understands but sometimes he brings it up again. Any idea why he does that? As well as the comparisons, he often acts protective of his dad when his dad makes a mistake and his Mom calls it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;N.B: I never talk down about his dad in front of him. Ever. I always shield him from the frequent fights his mom and dad have. I always say that their fights doesn't make them bad people, I say to him that '&lt;em&gt;it's just your dad and your mom can't get along and that's why they aren't together&lt;/em&gt;'. I've never told him that his dad is a loser, I actually tell him that he is lucky to have two dads so he can learn different things from both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is my step son saying the things he is, and comparing me to his biological father?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4378" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2020-12-29T16:58:41.710" Title="I love my step son so much but it irritates me when he compares me to his dad" Tags="|primary-schooler|step-parents|competitiveness|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8198" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8208" CreationDate="2013-06-04T14:24:06.473" Score="14" ViewCount="24903" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've introduced our son to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hasbro.com/playdoh/en_us/&quot;&gt;Play-Doh&lt;/a&gt;, and he loves it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he's still only 2, and is not very good about watching where the stuff goes.  He drops a lot of it, and then winds up stepping on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've wound up with some of it ground into our carpet.  What's the best way to clean up the mess?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2019-08-26T19:47:40.953" Title="How do I get play-doh out of the carpet?" Tags="|toys|cleaning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8197" CreationDate="2013-06-04T15:44:28.100" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that you are doing a great job by keeping this kind of posture: not telling that his dad is a loser, that he is lucky to have 2 dads, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is in a delicate situation: he has a biological dad, he knows him, he likes/loves him, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; he is understanding why you replaced him. To know why you are in his place, he will make some comparisons, trying to figure out in what aspects you both are different. It doesn't means that he is doing that to hurt you. And, after seeing that you don't like that, he'll probably know that those things can be used something that makes you lose your temper - hurt you - make you feel nervous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to deal with it: explain things you have in common, things that you are different, and that everybody has personal characteristics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, listen to yourself when you talk those good things, that you are doing good. You say something to him, but you don't believe in what you say...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorUserId="14742" LastEditDate="2020-12-29T16:58:41.710" LastActivityDate="2020-12-29T16:58:41.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8197" CreationDate="2013-06-04T15:52:32.027" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;He may very well feel a little protective of his dad.  Six-year-olds are more perceptive than most people give them credit for.  He knows his biological dad probably isn't the greatest, and he knows that you're awesome comparatively.  He's probably looking for ways that his dad &quot;beats&quot; you to put it in 6-year-old terms.  His dad is taller than you and has more hair than you--two areas where his dad (who he obviously still loves) is better than you.  It's tough to realize on some level that someone you love so much has some serious personality flaws, and it probably makes him feel somewhat better that, in at least a couple of areas, his dad is a little better than you to him.  Kinda sad that those two areas are physical traits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're doing the right thing by acknowledging it.  They are two legitimate differences between the two of you.  You might say, &quot;I know, your dad is taller than me.  Maybe you'll be as tall as he is when you grow up.&quot;  Giving him the impression that you think it's cool, too, might cause him to mention it less frequently--a lot of times kids will mention things like that over and over again because they're looking for validation or confirmation from you, and it might take several repetitions before they feel comfortable enough about it to drop it.  It's also an opportunity to point out diversity--not just obvious diversity like skin color and eye color, but also things like height.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T15:52:32.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8190" CreationDate="2013-06-04T16:11:57.247" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Valkyrie said, no child goes to college in diapers.  Don't put too much pressure on yourself or her as that tends to make things worse.  If she has an accident, just gently remind her that pee pee and poop go in the potty--which she knows all ready, but you know how often you have to remind kids about stuff!  Then find a way that she can help you clean up the mess.  Maybe she can hand you the paper towels as you wipe it up, or if you use a carpet cleaner to clean up a mess on the carpet, she can help you do that.  Obviously you probably don't want her actually &lt;em&gt;touching&lt;/em&gt; it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, you &lt;strong&gt;have&lt;/strong&gt; to address the issue with your mom.  Try not to assign blame--your mom probably wasn't trying to sabotage your potty training efforts.  Next time you talk to her on the phone or something, you might say, &quot;You know, dd has started having accidents at home, and I think it was because she wore that pull-up at your house&quot;.  Maybe you've all ready done this, but if you haven't then it needs to be addressed or the next time you leave her with your mom the same thing may happen again.  Maybe your daughter wasn't comfortable using the potty at your mom's house?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T16:11:57.247" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8202" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8204" CreationDate="2013-06-04T16:13:49.303" Score="-2" ViewCount="308" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 16 month old daughter and am concerned about her health. I like to know what pre-cautious measures should we take as parents in case she has fever, sore-throat and chest congestion. Please provide detail. Thanks &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2297" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T17:59:07.813" Title="What pre-cautions are to be taken by parents in case of sore-throat, chest congestion and fever for toddlers?" Tags="|toddler|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8202" CreationDate="2013-06-04T17:35:39.460" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get in the habit of washing her hands after diapering/playing with pets/playing in the dirt/choose your own adventure.  We sing 'Happy Birthday' so that the kids wash their hands for at least 30 seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T17:35:39.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8202" CreationDate="2013-06-04T17:59:07.813" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fevers are a normal response to either viral or bacterial infection, and are a good way of knowing your child's body is responding normally and attempting to fight off the infection.  The downside to fever is that even a low-grade fever can make you just feel awful.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/childhood-illnesses/fever&quot;&gt;Askdrsears.com&lt;/a&gt; has some great advice on how to handle fevers in young children.  He says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fevers of 101-103 F (38.4-39.5 Celcius) are generally not serious and can wait until morning (if it occurs in the middle of the night) to be evaluated by a physician.  But your child should still be seen by a physician. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fevers 104 (40 Celcius) and greater that respond to acetaminophen/ibuprofen and bring the temperature down to 100-101 (37.8-38.3 Celcius) can also wait until morning for evaluation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exceptions to the above two rules are:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child is lethargic (limp, lifeless, unresponsive, or not making eye contact)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child is extremely irritable (he/she is completely inconsolable and cries for hours)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child has a stiff/sore neck, is vomitting, has a high fever, a headache, and cannot tolerate bright lights.  These are symptoms of meningitis.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child has a high fever that does NOT respond to fever-reduction methods.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these four points are considered medical emergencies and your child should see a doctor immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, fever reducers such as ibuprofen and acetaminophen are good to keep on hand.  If you don't want to give your child medication, you can try bringing down moderate fevers with tepid/lukewarm baths, or by simply rubbing your child's arms and legs with a cool, wet washcloth. This does NOT mean cold water.  The Dr. Sears site answers practically every question you could ever have about fevers and fever management. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sore throats are not usually an emergency.  The real challenge is to make sure that you keep your child hydrated as they frequently won't want to eat/drink much if their throat hurts.  Giving them popsicles/ice cream/frozen yogurt/etc. can encourage them to eat.  Most sore throats are caused by viruses and will go away on their own, but if the sore throat is accompanied by fever and swollen neck glands then you may have a case of strep throat which needs to be treated with antibiotics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chest congestion can be tricky and can be a sign of everything from a cold to pertussis and pneumonia/influenza.  Using a humidifier can help make breathing a little easier.  Certain plants like eucalyptus, camphor, and lavender are ingredients in an over-the-counter salve found here in the US which has been shown to improve breathing and congestion in people who use it.  If the congestion is getting to be especially tricky, taking your child into a bathroom, shutting the door, and turning on the shower as hot as possible will create a steam room (you should NOT be in the shower.  You just want to create a sauna-like effect.  We usually sit on a closed toilet with our son/daughter on our lap).  Sometimes exposing your child to the cold will help the bronchioles to contract and make breathing a little less labored.  If it's cold outside, you can take your child directly outside, or, if it's summertime, you can stand them in front of a freezer for a few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you start to notice a sucking in around the rib cage when your child inhales, this could be a sign of a serious respiratory infection and your child should be seen by a doctor.  It sounds strange and you worry that you won't recognize it when you see it, but without any training I knew it when I saw it on my daughter when she was 6 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always, go with your gut.  You know your child.  If she seems really ill and you feel like she needs to be seen by a doctor then don't hesitate.  If you want more information about any of this stuff, the Ask Dr. Sears website is a really good reference.  Just type your term into the search box.  And as Valkyrie says, getting into the habit of good hygiene early is the best prevention!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T17:59:07.813" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8125" CreationDate="2013-06-04T20:07:20.707" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;To give you a little comfort, my youngest daughter had exactly the same condition, at the same age.  While the episodes are very disturbing to witness, the child does grow out of them.  Our doctor said the likely condition was night terrors. While the site that @Mary referenced does have some inconsistency with what you describe for your child, based on personal experience, it is still the most likely explanation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One anecdote form my experiences with my daughter, after a number of incidences of her screaming and thrashing in her sleep, with us unable to wake her for anything, in desperation we put her under a cold shower.  When the cold water hit her, she started awake with a look of &quot;what the hell are you doing&quot;.  Talking to her, she had zero recollection of any nightmare of any kind, however she wasn't very happy with the cold shower.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that incident we never tried to wake her from the nightmares again, just held her and calmed her down.  The episodes gradually faded, and disappeared totally within a year or so.  There was never any lasting consequence other than some sleepless nights on occasion.      &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="321" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T20:07:20.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8197" CreationDate="2013-06-04T20:22:39.040" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;They covered this situation in some depth at our foster parenting and adoption classes.  Unfortunately, they don't have step-parenting classes.  The key points are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Love is not a zero-sum thing.  He can love his biological father significantly without reducing one iota the love he has for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His biological father is a part of him, a large part of his identity.  That's why he's protective.  He sees criticisms of his father as criticisms of a part of himself.  He also sees the positive traits of his father as positive traits of a part of himself, which is why he likes to point them out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's nothing really you can or should do to stop the comparisons, but knowing the underlying reasons can make it less irritating to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T20:22:39.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8160" CreationDate="2013-06-04T20:53:04.090" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your primary concern on maternity leave is how to balance time between yourself and the baby, you may be setting yourself up to be very disappointed by maternity leave and possibly even resentful of your baby. I recommend changing your thought process. Instead I would focus on maternity leave as a time to adjust to your new rhythms in life with a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the first six weeks - longer if your baby is premature - your baby will have no concept of day or night, no matter how hard you try to provide one, because that part of the brain has not developed yet. Also during the early days your little one will possibly take a very long time per feeding. A newborn who nurses, if you choose to nurse, for 20 minutes is an efficient eater. Feedings lasting 45-60 minutes are normal especially during growth spurts. Your day will around the clock involve stretches of sleep (anywhere from 10 minutes-3 hours depending on variables far beyond your control) interrupted by a quick diaper change and a feeding and hopefully back to sleep for the baby. Unfortunately the back to sleep process is not always a smooth and quick one with a newborn. It can take a few mintues or it can take hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the first 3-4 months a baby's digestive system is regulating. According to my pediatrician the latest thinking on colic is that some babies feel the tummy troubles from the immature digestive system more than others. So during that time some babies will spend stretches of 3 or more hours at least 3 days a week crying and nothing you can do will console them, though you will likely try everything. Add on to the possibility of colic the rarer possibility of reflux or MSPI and you have a less than average but not insignificant chance that you will be spending much of your maternity leave dealing with an upset newborn with some form or other of tummy troubles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So all that said, the newborn period is not really the best time for &quot;you&quot; time. It is, however, a good time to establish habits which will enable you to find &quot;you&quot; time later. Teach your baby to practice independent sleep. If breastfeeding then spend lots of time with your baby establishing a good milk supply so that nursing is not an issue later. Also if nursing you will need to start pumping after 2 weeks post-partum to begin to build a stash of milk for your return to work. Pumping will take a surprising amount of your time as well. Introduce floor time (tummy and back both) early to encourage a little bit of independent &quot;play&quot; every day. Incorporate your baby into your daily routines during awake time, which will gradually include non-feeding times, via baby wearing or however you see fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also found that any sort of relaxation I could do while holding a sleeping or nursing baby worked. You will spend a lot of hours holding an eating baby and most likely a lot holding a sleeping one as well. Reading books, browsing the Internet, and catching up on the news were good for me. While you could attempt to develop software one handed during this time I never found that I felt mentally sharp enough to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After your maternity leave has ended, your child has learned how to sleep and is on an adequate nap routine, and you've come out of the incredible haze that is the immediate post-partum recovery period then you will begin the delicate balance of finding &quot;you&quot; time. I have had one friend comment that when she was mothering only one child she even eventually got bored and started taking an evening class. I would not, however, expect that to happen on maternity leave, or at least not until the very end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T20:53:04.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8198" CreationDate="2013-06-04T21:59:22.257" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I decided to go and hunt down an answer for this because although so far we have managed to keep playdough in the kitchen, which has a wooden floor, it is bound to happen sometime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the official line from Hasbro is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“When attempting to remove PLAY-DOH compound do NOT use hot water or&#xA;  cleaning solutions of any kind. To remove PLAY-DOH compound from&#xA;  carpet or fabrics, allow it to dry completely, and then loosen with a&#xA;  stiff brush. It may be necessary to vacuum clean or wash with gentle&#xA;  soap and cold water.  You may need to repeat the process in order to&#xA;  completely remove the PLAY-DOH compound.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Amusingly, the first source of that guidance, which quoted Hasbros own information was a blog called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.playdoughinmycarpet.com/playdough-facts/&quot;&gt;Playdoughinmycarpet&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-06-04T21:59:22.257" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8209" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8210" CreationDate="2013-06-05T02:49:26.030" Score="5" ViewCount="665" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was thinking of giving him a strong head massage, but then I read somewhere that newborn heads are not supposed to be touched strongly since bones aren't joint at the back of the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the dos and don'ts related to massaging an infant?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;How to hold the infant and how much pressure should be applied where?&lt;/em&gt;    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If I put him on his tummy for back massage, he won't be to support his neck and his nose will be buried in the mattress. What's the way out?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-07-12T16:01:31.290" LastActivityDate="2013-07-12T16:01:31.290" Title="What are the dos and don'ts related to massaging an infant?" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8209" CreationDate="2013-06-05T11:06:09.103" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Until the age of two the bone plates in his skull won't be fused, so yes, head massage that might move the bones would be a bad idea.  Maybe just a very gentle scalp massage instead?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for back massage, just turn his head to the side so he can breathe freely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infant massage can be beneficial for everyone, so long as you move slowly, respond to his cues (if he doesn't like it, he will let you (and everyone within earshot) know :) ), and look at it as a bonding opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most hospitals in the US (don't know your location, so I'm going by mine :&gt; ) offer classes in infant massage. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infant-massage/MY01972&quot;&gt;Here's some basic info from the Mayo Clinic on infant massage.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-05T11:06:09.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8211" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-06T01:11:21.517" Score="13" ViewCount="12834" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a seven year old son who is having a hard time &quot;getting inspired&quot; to read regularly.  This is somewhat of a struggle for me as his older brother was reading Harry Potter at around his age and is several years ahead of his grade level on multiple levels.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously I realize that every child is different (I have four wonderful children who each have varying strengths and so forth), however I know that I'm simply missing a variable in the equation of getting him interested.  He feels compelled to create and invent, but he's at a point where he needs to start being able to consume information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've looked into several venues of reading material and I think I've found some items that may actually do the trick, however I very much would like to get some input as far as suggestions that other parents have found with regards to finding robust reading selections in a &quot;leveling up&quot; pattern that could really properly and more rapidly augment a child's opportunity of advancing their reading skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4380" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T15:52:40.017" LastActivityDate="2018-04-04T16:51:32.517" Title="How to inspire a 7 year old to accelerate reading efforts?" Tags="|development|education|primary-schooler|reading|motivation|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8211" CreationDate="2013-06-06T13:13:51.917" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some may resort to illuminated manuscripts, but persist in so doing only making child harder to read books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's figure out the complexion level of reading materials:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;① Comic books&#xA;② Illustrated manuscripts&#xA;③ Fable&#xA;④ Fairy tale&#xA;⑤ Short real stories&#xA;⑥ Novel &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let your child attracted by reading itself, never make it specialized. Remember some said:&quot;I never love reading like I will never love breathing&quot;. Make child take it for granted as a way to absorb knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the next thing you gonna do is inspire what book can give into him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4367" LastActivityDate="2013-06-06T13:13:51.917" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8197" CreationDate="2013-06-06T13:18:47.657" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Comparison is a good thing! which means he start to realize you are as important as his biological father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard for both of you and your son, but I think only one thing matters:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;let him know he don't need to choose between you and biological father, that 's all!&#xA;and let him know, he is so felicitous to have two dads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not hard to feel that you are good father, don't need to change, just make you real, open your heart to your son! best wish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4367" LastActivityDate="2013-06-06T13:18:47.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8211" CreationDate="2013-06-06T16:08:10.873" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you more about the reading, or the consuming information? It may be that reading words is not how he likes to consume information. If so, you have two separate and independent paths:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;help him to consume information that can enable him to be better at the creative and inventive things he's doing, or just to enjoy himself. Watching movies, online videos, listening to audiobooks, going to places where you can touch exhibits (animals, shells, scientific equipment ...) - whatever lets him connect to the information and consume it at the pace he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;convince him that some information is primarily available in books alone. (Some time looking for an audiobook of something obscure should make this point pretty quickly, or a day when you don't have time to take him to the place he can touch things.) Building off that, encourage getting better at reading as a way to gain that information pipe for more topics than the ones that are covered with his preferred modalities.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If possible, you could point out that the advanced reader in the family doesn't do as well with audio books, or instructional videos. You could then present it as just a fluke of our society that so much information is available as books, and that makes reading a useful skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put yourself in what may be his shoes, let me ask if you like those you tube videos where people show you how to do something that's super non-visual. Like &quot;here's how to get your text to wrap in Notepad.&quot; It's like 3 steps and you could read them in a flash, but you have to watch this tedious video where the person is waving the mouse around and explaining stuff you don't care about, before they finally show you the menu to use to make it happen. I HATE trying to learn things from videos like that. If you are the same, consider that he feels about the written word they way we do about the videos. It's not a weakness, just a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-06-06T16:08:10.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8215" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-06T16:33:11.533" Score="6" ViewCount="1002" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4-year old son is unpacifiable when it comes to saying bye-bye to his friends after playing. He would cry like anything and doesn't mind lying on the street, adamantly not wanting to part with his friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could we do about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4383" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-06-06T17:34:46.233" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T18:56:59.553" Title="How to deal with a 4 year old child who doesn't like parting with his friends?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|relationships|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8211" CreationDate="2013-06-06T17:05:38.623" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading is a means to an end.  People don't read just to read.  Otherwise, we'd pop open a dictionary to relax after a hard day.  We read to be entertained by a story, to learn about topics, or to communicate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to first think about the ends your son enjoys, then find reading material to further those ends.  Go to the library and explore &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; the sections:  fiction, non-fiction, and periodicals.  Try out comic books, or set him up with email to family and friends.  Hobbies like science, computer programming, role-playing games, and robotics can involve a lot of reading.  Once the mechanics of reading are easier, you can work on the diversity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a child, my parents worried that I read too much non-fiction, so they made a rule that I had to select at least one fiction book every trip to the library.  I resented that rule at first, and picked basically at random, but eventually managed to find a genre I actually liked with a series within my abilities.  You could try the same thing, making him pick something until he does it on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-06-06T17:05:38.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8215" CreationDate="2013-06-06T17:14:05.440" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there any way to give him some control over the leave-taking?  I'm thinking of something like what we do with daycare and night-times (kids push us out of the room), that he could do when it's time to leave the playdate.  Maybe have a kiss/hug be the bye-bye signal?  Or maybe you could tell him, &quot;Okay, hon, in 5 minutes we will give a hug to our friends and then you are in charge of unlocking the car/opening the door/picking out the snacks for the ride home/choose your own adventure.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-06T17:14:05.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8197" CreationDate="2013-06-06T19:50:09.160" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's 6.  Don't let it get to you.  My 4 yr old used to try to push my wife (his mother) out of the house because he liked me more.  Now he's 10 and is embarrassed by that story... people don't think thing through very carefully when they're 6.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I admire you for taking the high road... you sound like a good guy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1029" LastActivityDate="2013-06-06T19:50:09.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8215" CreationDate="2013-06-07T00:53:24.437" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Immediately, off the bat, I recommend to never, ever give in to this type of behavior. Also make it clear that it is unacceptable. When he begins to whine, cry, and throw a fit, there should be no more &quot;Ok, just 5 more minutes&quot;. This only helps to encourage the behavior. You need to control the situation and by doing that you take a little less control away from yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What was typically done with me, and what I am beginning to do with my daughter is to give her advance notice of what is going to happen. We give her warnings. We involve her in the cleanup process (putting toys away, wiping off tables) and then we begin a long string of good byes. By the time the clock ticks to when we have to leave, she is already separated from the activity and is ready to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she gets older, I will add a further step before we even begin to play by letting her know what time we will be leaving rather than leaving it open-ended. However, since she has no concept of numerical time right now, that step can wait.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2013-06-07T00:53:24.437" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8221" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8226" CreationDate="2013-06-07T12:48:30.137" Score="3" ViewCount="3350" Body="&lt;p&gt;We normally have cereal or toast for breakfast, and a home-cooked meal in the evening. At lunch time, my husband and I normally have sandwiches as we do not want two cooked meals a day. Our 18 month old daughter is not a big fan of getting something different from everyone else - she wants what we're having! (Which I think is great in general!) However my husband is worried that she ought to have a cooked meal at lunch time as well as in the evening. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any research about the nutritional benefits of a cooked meal rather than a cold lunch, or about what age it's OK to rely more on cold food? I do try to make sure her cold lunch is balanced, eg she might have a cheese sandwich and some grapes and banana, or a ham sandwich with cucumber and tomato, but it probably is less &quot;hearty&quot; than a cooked meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-06-08T15:42:09.597" Title="Do children need hot meals twice a day?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8221" CreationDate="2013-06-07T19:57:58.490" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't been able to dig up any research stating explicitly that &quot;cooked&quot; lunches are better for your child than cold lunches.  It gets &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; hot here in the summer and I would prefer to eat something like a sandwich or salad rather than a hot meal for lunch.  Who wants to turn on their oven/stove in the middle of a 90+ degree day?  Bleh.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a safety perspective, some foods &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to be cooked to destroy toxins or parasites that are found in them.  Meat, obviously, needs to be cooked to destroy bacteria.  From a practical standpoint, many veggies benefit from some type of cooking (steaming, baking, boiling, roasting, etc.) as it begins to break down the cellulose which comprises the plant's cell walls.  Cellulose is indigestible in humans so it will pass through the digestive system, but it might be rough on the system as it passes through.  But eating most veggies raw isn't going to harm anyone as long as they are washed thoroughly first.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the more threatening plants that need to be cooked first are somewhat exotic in nature and it's unlikely that you will encounter them in your day-to-day life.  The most ubiquitous item I've seen is red kidney beans which can cause severe gastric distress if you eat them raw.  Cooked, canned red kidney beans are not a threat, but if you buy raw bagged red kidney beans you should wait until they are thoroughly soaked and cooked before you eat them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-07T19:57:58.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7" CreationDate="2013-06-08T05:15:26.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter got to 5 months old and wasn't sleeping so I decided to let her cry it out one night! Yes she screamed for an hour and the second night was worse but third night was 20 mins and by the 4th night she slept. The reason I knew that she was not hungry at night but rather it being a habit was because in the morning she would play in her cot for half an hour with no tears! I figured if she was that hungry she'd be crying in the morning too! So is it really hunger that your baby is waking or habit?! If your strong enough to let your baby cry it out I'd try that! But make sure that your partner is willing to let this happen! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4388" LastActivityDate="2013-06-08T05:15:26.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8221" CreationDate="2013-06-08T15:42:09.597" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The issue with diet is less about cooked versus uncooked than it is about developing lifelong good eating habits. The research I am reading suggests that your adult diet of one cooked meal and two cold meals is the better model for your child. We can argue about the nutritional value and the digestibility of a cooked carrot versus a raw carrot, but that difference is not going to affect your child's health as much as her learning to eat both cooked and raw carrots (neither of which you probably serve for breakfast). Further, because modeling is such an important determinant of the development of good eating habits, your practice of feeding your child something different than what you are eating is probably counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relevant research:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;From the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/nutrition-for-kids/NU00606&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Nutrition for kids is based on the same principles as nutrition for&#xA;  adults. Everyone needs the same types of nutrients — such as vitamins,&#xA;  minerals, carbohydrates, protein and fat. What's different about&#xA;  nutrition for kids, however, is the amount of specific nutrients&#xA;  needed at different ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/childnutrition.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Medline Plus&lt;/a&gt; (National Institute of Health)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;To give your child a nutritious diet &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Make half of what is on your child's plate fruits and vegetables&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Choose healthy sources of protein, such as lean meat, nuts, and eggs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Serve whole-grain breads and cereals because they are high in fiber.    Reduce refined grains.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Broil, grill, or steam foods instead of frying them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Limit fast food and junk food&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Offer water or milk instead of sugary fruit drinks and sodas&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Additional information from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/nutrition/pages/Childhood-Nutrition.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a%20No%20local%20token&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Toddlers and preschoolers grow in spurts and their appetites come and go in spurts, so they may eat a whole lot one day and then hardly anything the next&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;One area parents should probably keep under watch  is calcium. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Fiber is another important focus. Toddlers start to say  “no” more and preschoolers can be especially opinionated about what  they eat.  The kids may want to stick to the bland, beige, starchy diet  (think  chicken nuggets, fries, macaroni), but this is really the time  to  encourage fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans, which all  provide fiber.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;From &lt;em&gt;Increasing Pre-School Children's Consumption of Fruit and Vegetables&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; (paraphrased)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal is to create children with a wide range of tastes that will track into adulthood. Modeling and rewards are found to have lasting effects on preschool children's preferences for fruits and vegetables. (This was a study done with fruits and vegetables either raw or cooked &lt;em&gt;al dente&lt;/em&gt;; rewards were a sticker chart and badges).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;From &lt;em&gt;Effects of Peer Models' Food Choices and Eating Behaviors on Preschoolers' Food Preferences&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; (paraphrased)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Preschoolers’ food choices, preferences, and consumption patterns are strongly influenced by those of other children. They chose previously nonpreferred foods even when no longer in the presence of peers who preferred those foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other influences over food preferences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;parental modeling (have only seen studies with mothers)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;familiarity (kids choose known foods over new foods)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the context in which the food is presented (both physical and emotional)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;taste&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;television viewing (studied in older children)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Article citations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Birch, L. (1980). Effects of Peer Models' Food Choices and Eating Behaviors on Preschoolers' Food Preferences. &lt;em&gt;Child Development&lt;/em&gt;, 51(2), 489-496.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pauline J. Horne, Janette Greenhalgh, Mihela Erjavec, C. Fergus Lowe, Simon Viktor, Chris J. Whitaker. (April 2011). Increasing pre-school children's consumption of fruit and vegetables. A modelling and rewards intervention, &lt;em&gt;Appetite&lt;/em&gt;, 56(2) April 2011, 375-385.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-08T15:42:09.597" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8211" CreationDate="2013-06-08T16:38:57.310" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience (mother of two college-age boys, former elementary school and pre-school teacher, current librarian) and many, many years of professional reading...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Preliminary thoughts&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids develop differently. If you had not had the &lt;em&gt;Harry Potter&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;experience with your older child, you would probably be less worried&#xA;about your younger child. His lack of interest, which you understandably want&#xA;to increase, is certainly age-appropriate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As you note, people are different. Some will be big readers and some won't. As&#xA;much as you want your child to love reading, it may never be his&#xA;&quot;thing.&quot; Your primary goal should be that he will be a functional&#xA;reader (can read well enough to do school work, to study his&#xA;interests, to get information he needs, to eventually find fulfilling&#xA;work). Raising a lover of reading should be a secondary goal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be careful not to turn this into a battle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To help inspire a love of reading or encourage a reluctant reader&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read aloud to your child. Have close one-on-one time with your child (no matter the age) where you read to him with no other goal than to enjoy the book together. In your child's mind the act of reading will become associated with an emotionally satisfying bonding experience. He will also witness the translation of squiggly ink on paper into a story through the modulation of your voice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Model reading. Children who see their parents read (particularly same-sex parents) are more likely to read on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take him to the library. As Karl suggested, let him choose his books. Many boys prefer nonfiction. Some kids love comic books (sometimes located in their own section of the library, but sometimes classified in the Dewey decimal section under 741 near the art books). Some like magazines. ANY reading is good reading.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Whenever your child asks for information, resist the temptation to provide an answer, but instead say, &quot;Let's look that up!&quot; Model researching (library or Internet) which is reading to find information - an essential life skill. While your child might not be interested in stories, he will be interested in finding information he needs.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your child is struggling with reading school assignments, read them aloud to him while tracking the words for him with your finger. Sometimes if you read aloud part of the textbook passage, so that he understands from your tone and inflection what he is reading about, it will give him context to read the rest on his own. Acknowledge to him that learning to read can be hard, but you are there to help and he will get it with practice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes if you are reading aloud and you stop at a particularly exciting part of the story, your child will not be able to help himself but to continue reading on his own. I wouldn't do this on purpose very often, because it will be viewed as trickery in time and possibly resented, but employed occasionally it may inspire reading.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try audio books. Your public library probably has lots of them (and you can request titles if they don't - they will borrow from other libraries). Get the audio and the book and sit with your child and listen/read together. You may need to help track the words with your fingers. I recently listened to Neil Gaiman's spooky &lt;em&gt;Graveyard Book&lt;/em&gt; read by the author (British accent - brilliant story on a par with &lt;em&gt;Harry Potter&lt;/em&gt;, but a little shorter)- the book won the Newbery Award and is soon to be made into a movie by Ron Howard.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your child likes movies, you can sometimes interest him in the actual story the movie is based on (&lt;em&gt;Harry Potter&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Holes&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;James and the Giant Peach&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;Matilda&lt;/em&gt; immediately come to mind, but there are many!). Roald Dahl stories are terrific read-alouds and usually meatier than the movies.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend Jim Trelease's &lt;em&gt;Read Aloud Handbook&lt;/em&gt; for&#xA;suggestions about inspiring readers and a beginning book list for&#xA;good read-alouds.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also, when you take your child to the library, introduce him to the&#xA;librarian. Librarians are trained to ask questions about interests so&#xA;they can make good book recommendations geared to the specific&#xA;person. This is a behavior you can model as well - let your son see&#xA;&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; getting a book recommendation from the librarian. Librarians &lt;em&gt;live&lt;/em&gt; for this! A young neighbor of mine became an avid reader because his local librarian indulged his fascination with ships by requesting books especially for him from other libraries. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-08T16:38:57.310" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8228" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-09T15:43:30.273" Score="5" ViewCount="365" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 16 month old daughter. We always joke about how she'll play with anything other than her toys. Lately, I've been noticing that the things she plays with instead are more comparable to puzzles. She plays with her dolls little to none. The moment I give her electronic / interactive toys, or puzzle toys she seems more content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this indicative of any personality traits or is this a phase children go through or something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4392" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T15:45:38.387" Title="Toy Preference of a Toddler" Tags="|toddler|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8228" CreationDate="2013-06-09T17:40:12.347" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a huge body of research out there into toy preferences, mostly dealing with gender and &quot;gendered toys.&quot; I can find no studies on early toy preferences being predictive of later behavior, nor what makes a child pick particular toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is my experience (parent, preschool teacher) that toy preferences can be influenced by modeling from parents, siblings or peers. Your daughter may be interested in gadgets because her parents are. She may later prefer dolls because her friends do. She may go back and forth depending on her developmental stage (play with dolls and &quot;feminine&quot; toys may align with periods of social growth, as may play with &quot;boy&quot; toys). There is a drive amongst children in general to be more &quot;grown up&quot; which could influence toy choice. Some children are natural puzzlers who like to figure things out. If that sounds like your daughter, I would nurture this by providing other non-toys for her to explore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-09T17:40:12.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1718" CreationDate="2013-06-10T17:17:23.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't wait &#xA;Make a change &#xA;Children are little barometers &#xA;They will react when the pressure is up. ... But  it takes a lot for them to verbalized that they do not like an adult.&#xA; We had the same nanny for 10 +years ... Closer to me than my own family. No big blow out but the kid's needs changed and she never really adapted to their growing needs . &#xA;I should have made a change 3 years ago . The nannies that are Great will infants  are not always  great with the changing needs of a growing child . As a parent you are their advocate and decision maker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4396" LastActivityDate="2013-06-10T17:17:23.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8233" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-06-11T16:15:16.840" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-06-11T16:15:16.840" LastActivityDate="2013-06-11T16:15:16.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8234" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-06-11T16:15:16.840" Score="0" Body="Questions regarding saliva production and in particular excessive saliva production in children." OwnerUserId="3069" LastEditorUserId="3069" LastEditDate="2013-06-11T23:10:33.193" LastActivityDate="2013-06-11T23:10:33.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7638" CreationDate="2013-06-11T16:27:50.513" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is true that early focus on childhood development can make a difference in the long-term outcomes for children. However the kind of person who independently reads those studies usually naturally engages in many of the positive behaviors that make a difference in later life, such as frequently talking to their infants. That said, the kind of intervention they are talking about may not be what you expect - it's not academic at all in the traditional sense of the word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a large volume of studies which have proved over and over again that young children learn best through play. Play is especially important for babies and toddlers. The development of motor skills - seemingly basic things such as reaching, batting, rolling over, crawling, a pincer grasp, and so on - have impacts far beyond the skills themselves. One 2010 study showed that early acheivement of fine motor skills was a strong predictor of later in life academic acheivement (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scilearn.com/blog/early-fine-motor-skills-cognitive-skills.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;). Your earliest &quot;schooling&quot; of your child will be through loving and play. You can find many play activities which promote age-appropriate development of motor skills and other skills at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/play/tips-and-tools-play.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ZERO TO THREE&lt;/a&gt;, a site dedicated to development from birth until age 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Futher studies on the benefit of play cover the preschool years. You can read a book-length overview of the evidence in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mandateforplayfullearning.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;A Mandate for Playful Learning in Preschool&lt;/a&gt;. There is a briefer overview of some of the evidence related to preschoolers in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ultimateblockparty.com/download/Kindergarten_Policy_Brief.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this policy brief&lt;/a&gt;. Some things that brief points out include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Free play - that is play which is not directed by a parent - stimulates interest in mathematics regardless of the child's sex. It also fosters creative thinking and social problem-solving.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Overviews of long-term outcomes for kids who have play-based early education versus kids who have academic-based early education support children who have play-based early education.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Studies show that make-believe play has many benefits for young children as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.zerotothree.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ZERO TO THREE&lt;/a&gt; has an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.zerotothree.org/early-care-education/school-readiness-interactive-birth-to-3/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;interactive tool&lt;/a&gt; to support school-readiness which goes over many activities which parents can engage in with their children to provide a foundation for life-long learning. That tool makes a wonderful statement which sums up the current thinking on how infants and toddlers learn:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It isn’t necessary to “teach” very young children.  Formal classes and other activities that push babies and toddlers to read and write words do not help their development or make the do better in school. In fact, they can even make children feel like failures when they are pushed to do something they don’t enjoy or that is beyond their skills.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  (&lt;a href=&quot;http://main.zerotothree.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ter_par_1224_langindex&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Books on learning which you may find useful include &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1594860688&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Einstein Never Used Flashcards&lt;/a&gt; and the much-praised &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0446504130&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Nurtureshock&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as preparation for the formal education years down the road, now may be a time to determine which learning philosophy you plan to follow, to make sure that the primary teaching parent is him or herself adequate in all subject areas to be taught (or to find teaching cooperatives where an adequate instructor can be found), and to research homeschooling resources in your area. Parents with adequate knowledge themselves make or break the homeschooling experience based on what I, a homeschooled child, have seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-06-11T16:27:50.513" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2013-06-11T16:36:38.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only thing I haven't seen listed here that is standard advice is limiting, moving earlier, or eliminating nap time. As sleep needs decrease and awake time needs increase there is, I've read, an awkward stage of transition between taking a nap and not taking a nap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children will protest the nap to show that they are ready to drop it, but others will develop bedtime problems. That awkward transition can lead to lots of mucking around at bedtime if the nap is too long, too late, bedtime is not late enough in relationship to the nap, or the nap has been completely outgrown. The mucking at bedtime can cause the child to get so wound up that they play past when they are actually tired and become overtired, leading to a vicious cycle of seeming tired at naptime when a nap isn't really needed or taking a too-long nap, then playing at bedtime again. If no change in bedtime is helping perhaps try nap limiting or moving the nap earlier, and if that doesn't work consider eliminating nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-06-11T16:36:38.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2013-06-11T18:33:12.157" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diapers.com/p/avent-soothie-pacifier-0-3-mo-green-2-pk-88609&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Avent Soothie Pacifiers&lt;/a&gt; are most effective for my son too. They seem to stay in better than the Mam or Nuk options until he's actually asleep and done sucking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get yours better at keeping them in, you can try tugging on it gently while s/he's sucking. S/he should suck it right back in. Do that a few times just after you give him/her the pacifier, and s/he should get pretty good at keeping it from falling out in the first place. This trained my son to hang on to it, and he's less than a month old. I got the tip from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553381466&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Happiest Baby on the Block&lt;/a&gt; (p. 177 in my paperback version). If that doesn't work, I'd guess Baby is hungry or needs something else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4399" LastActivityDate="2013-06-11T18:33:12.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8239" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-12T02:33:38.167" Score="3" ViewCount="146" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 8 yrs and has had problems with his motor skills. In particular, he had difficulties holding a pencil. He is now writing beautifully, but still hesitates to write and draw. When eating, he avoids tearing his roti (a kind of Indian bread) and dosas (a sort of crepe like meal) and takes a lot of time to eat rice with a spoon. He is comfortable punching pillow cushions and always wants to press the palms, which gives him stress relief. In the mornings, I find that he is not fresh enough even after 10 hrs of sleep. He does not enjoying brushing his teeth and while bathing he applies soap very lightly. Opening the doors seems to be a little difficult... Friends tell me that these problems are all related to each other and that I should consult somebody. Does anyone have any suggestions? Incidentally, I am also the mother of 16 year old daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4400" LastEditorUserId="3356" LastEditDate="2013-06-12T16:17:35.153" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T17:20:19.303" Title="How to check the fine motor skills development" Tags="|primary-schooler|fine-motor-skills|gross-motor-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2013-06-12T02:40:02.410" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can fit 3 RadianRXT car seats side-by-side. It has all the safety features of a Britax and more + things like foldable seat bottoms for travel storage.  This saved us from buying a new car ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Amazon Link: &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B005MQRAAK&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Diono-Radian-Convertible-Seat-Shadow/dp/B005MQRAAK&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4401" LastEditorUserId="1049" LastEditDate="2013-06-12T06:34:23.353" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T06:34:23.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8241" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-12T05:23:12.950" Score="4" ViewCount="3934" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I got caught by my teenager son having oral sex. I am embarrassed and I don't know how to handle it. Can you give me any advise?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4402" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2018-08-29T17:08:24.687" LastActivityDate="2018-08-29T17:08:24.687" Title="How to talk with your teenage son when he caught you having sex with your partner?" Tags="|teen|age-appropriate|communication|sex|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2013-06-12T11:59:41.480" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8241" CreationDate="2013-06-12T06:27:29.547" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hopefully you've already had the 'big talk' if your son is already a teenager. If not, now is the perfect time to bring up the topic and get talking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you already had the talk, then he's likely as embarrassed as you are and perhaps the conversation has to be less about sex and more about how to knock on doors before entering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T06:27:29.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="99" CreationDate="2013-06-12T08:03:16.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regardless if a child bites or not, I feel it is completely wrong to discipline a child by doing the very same thing to them that he/she did. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My approach to the biting problem is to remove the child to a room where the parent and child are alone, and calmly explain that what he/she did was completely unacceptable behaviour.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They must focus on the parents... eye to eye contact.  Don't scream... Explain in great specific detail how &amp;amp; why and what they have done wrong. Ask lots of questions of your child and stay calm.  Make sure that you are in charge at all times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you feel the lecture is over, take your child to a corner in your home and have them kneel with their nose in against the corner with no talking or responding for 5 minutes maximum.  Then ask them to come see you and ask them &quot;Do you understand why you had to sit in the corner?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then have your child apologise to the person whom she/he bit. And warn he/she of the consequences if it were to ever happen again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you will find this method effective with more than just biting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, I hope this helps. After all, as the ol' saying goes: Raising children doesn't come with a book. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4403" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-06-14T19:51:59.523" LastActivityDate="2013-06-14T19:51:59.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8241" CreationDate="2013-06-12T11:05:25.853" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd let him bring it up.  I walked in on my parents &lt;em&gt;in flagrante delicto&lt;/em&gt; when I was 8, and RAN out of the room and hid in the office for a while.  My dad, bless his heart, came to find me and assure me everything was fine.  &quot;I know what you guys were doing, Daddy!  I'm not scared, just freaked out!  Leave me alone!&quot;  He left, and I vowed then and there to NEVER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER to open their door without knocking first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problem solved. Crisis averted.  And my psyche repaired itself just fine.  (But the mind wipe has never been completely successful.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T11:05:25.853" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8211" CreationDate="2013-06-12T12:16:49.560" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children learn by example so here is my few points&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, don't eve make the mistake of comparing your child to other children. it doesn't help.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Children learn to enjoy study sessions when these come wrapped in love.&quot; First try to read with your child.   &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Set an example. Children who often see their parents reading and studying are more likely to view these activities as a natural part of their own lives.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4406" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2018-04-04T16:51:32.517" LastActivityDate="2018-04-04T16:51:32.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8239" CreationDate="2013-06-12T15:26:50.793" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You'll want to have your child assessed by an Occupational Therapist.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're located in the United States Public Law 94-142 (IDEA) ensures that your child has access to special education if he qualifies.  Speak to your child's school about your concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4407" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T15:26:50.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8228" CreationDate="2013-06-12T15:45:38.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;At your daughter's age she is developing skills in problem solving, cause and effect, and other cognitive activities.  She is probably enjoying things like pouring things into containers (pots, boxes, etc.), dumping them out, seeing what fits, seeing what happens when she makes one thing interact with another, etc.  These are typical skills for a toddler to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At her age, dolls can be very useful toys for developing receptive language if you play with the dolls &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; her.  Give her directions, offer choices, etc. all in a play context (having a tea party, having a picnic, going to the park, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to electronic toys, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screentime (phone, tablet, tv, etc.) for children under 2 years of age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/11550621/mediaunder2.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/11550621/mediaunder2.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the Mayo Clinic's fact sheet on the impact of screentime on children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/children-and-tv/MY00522&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/children-and-tv/MY00522&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I work as an Early Intervention Speech Language Pathologist in the birth-36 month population.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4407" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T15:45:38.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8117" CreationDate="2013-06-12T15:56:33.287" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 18 months she can understand that it is not alright to throw things, but only if you're consistent.  If throwing is not allowed in the house then it is not allowed in the house, no exceptions.  If it is allowed in the house then you'll have to accept that you've given approval for broad categories of objects to be thrown since her categorization skills are only broad at best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you consistently disallow this behavior and use appropriate consequences for her actions you can suppress the behavior, I've worked with many families on this and similar behaviors and the key is, as I said, consistency.  Both across environments and caregivers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4407" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T15:56:33.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8239" CreationDate="2013-06-12T17:20:19.303" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely see your doctor if possible. At 8 years of age some of these seem to be a concern. There's not enough information to really know whats going on. It could be an allergy or allergies, an illness, a form of hyper-sensitivity,  or simply his personality. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a group of documents curated by the US National Institutes for Health that will give you a lot of material to review on typical developmental milestones:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/middle.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Middle Childhood (6-8 years of age)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2013-06-12T17:20:19.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5232" CreationDate="2013-06-13T14:26:40.290" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since this post was written a little over a year ago I've continued to search for answers to my daughter's terrible sleep at the time. While I can't go back and conclusively prove any of these factors contributed, I believe that they all did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I believe we had to drop the swaddle before my daughter was ready for it. I believe she still had a Moro reflex. Stomach sleep would have solved this problem, but is not an option for us due to the correlation between back sleeping and a decline in the SIDS rate. Viable options would have been products such as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://annaandeve.com/swaddle-strap&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Swaddle Strap&lt;/a&gt; that provide a swaddle that does not have a risk of fabric over the face or products designed for the transition out of the swaddle such as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://zipadeezip.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Zipadee-Zip&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.magicsleepsuit.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Because of her Moro reflex I wish we had tried an incline sleeper such as a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fisher-price.com/en_US/brands/babygear/products/51903&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Fiscer Price Rock 'n' Play&lt;/a&gt; for at least naptime sleep to promote longer naps. By 3 months she was consistently taking only single-sleep cycle naps and I believe this led to overtiredness that could not be fixed by any nighttime helps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Starting around 2 months I was keeping her intervals of wakefulness too short, around 45 minutes when I believe she needed longer. This led to an undertired-overtired loop. She was not tired enough to take a long nap, and then from a too-short nap was overtired during the next wakeful period. This caused both naptime and nighttime problems. It is possible that stretching her slowly between feedings to train her metabolism onto a 3 hour schedule at a younger age may have been helpful as well, but I believe the major contributing factor was the undertired-overtired loop.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I believe that rushing to soothe her cries that may have been gas pains led to an attachment to her pacifier which developed into a full-blown sleep association around 3.5 months. Again stomach sleep may have soothed the gas pains but was not an option. Modifying my diet also may have soothed the gas pains, but I did not have a chance to try an elimination diet before her digestive system matured and the gas pains disappeared. What I wish I would have tried is waiting a couple of minutes to see if her sleep cries were really pain or just crying in sleep. If just crying in sleep I wish I had let her resettle with my presence, but without a pacifier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That said, because she had developed a poor sleep association with the pacifier and also with being held to sleep some form of sleep training, at an age where it was suggested by her doctor, was required to teach her proper sleep associations. Bedsharing would have also been a solution, but it was not viable for us because I am a deep and active sleeper.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I discovered around 5.5 months that it is definitely possible to have a too-early bedtime. Given the exact same intervals of wakefulness my daughter would have a good night with a bedtime of 6:30 to 7 but a bad night with a bedtime before 6:30 or after 7. Finding her bedtime sweet spot made a major difference.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those babies who are challenging sleepers from an early age it can be hard to hit on the appropriate combination of a feeding schedule, sleep routine, and good sleep habits to promote the best sleep your child is capable of at any age. However it can be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-06-13T14:26:40.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2013-06-14T13:03:41.183" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We made a point of being inclusive when it came to family titles. That means among other things, that the woman who married my (divorced) father just a few months before my own wedding is &quot;Grandma&quot; to my kids, because she wanted to be. It also means that each person chose their own titles - some chose what their other grandchildren were already calling them, for example - and as it happened, we ended up with no need to use last names or initials or other distinguishers to tell them apart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A parent who decides they are in charge of other people's names is likely to fight battles of control with those people and with the children for a long time. If &quot;Mr Joe&quot; wants to say, one day, &quot;hey kids, now that I'm married to Gramma it sure would be cool if you'd call me Grampa Joe&quot; there really should be no impact on your relationship with your own divorced father or your memory of your late father. You can have more than one sister. (I have three, not all of whom have the same mother as me.) You typically have more than one grandfather. It's all good. Were you able to take that attitude, I think you'd have an easier time navigating the waters of family dynamics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I know, &lt;strong&gt;that wasn't the question&lt;/strong&gt;. IF you want to promote Mr Joe from &quot;friend of the family&quot; to &quot;almost family&quot; then I suggest working with your mother and Joe to come up with a nickname, so that the kids are the only ones who call him that, and it is a bit special and supports his special role in their lives. Just do keep in mind that he may not be entirely flattered at being &quot;almost family&quot; and there may be more benefit in finding a way to promote him to &quot;family&quot;. It doesn't mean anyone is being replaced or forgotten. You're just opening the circle a little more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-06-14T13:03:41.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2013-06-14T20:51:22.687" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to live with my stepfather and my mom for many years and at one point I told my stepfather &quot;you are not my real father&quot; in response to him trying to discipline me. I think it was hard for him and he let my mother do the disciplining part. That didn't work either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think as a stepfather you are in a very disadvantaged position, especially if the father is a figure that the child can admire or like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hadn't seen my father for more that 34 years and when I finally met him it felt like for 30 minutes I got out of him more than I got from my stepfather for 30 years. We just have immediate connection that seems to have always been there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think you should acknowledge in your heart this possibility and try to build an emotional connection with the child by being available, open minded, accepting and loving. You can never replace the birth father as he is a huge part of the identity of the child, even when the father is absent. And you cannot reinforce this identity and have this type of connection. You can only ensure your child has a voice in your home and is able to develop without being judged and rejected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if I were you, I would say &quot;Thank you! I am glad we can talk about that. Let's acknowledge that. I am not your birth father and I respect your father's place in your heart. I am not trying to replace your father. I am just concerned about your well-being because I love you. And I think that's something your father would want me to do.&quot; That would have worked for me though I know it's very hard for a stepfather to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4419" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-06-17T16:19:54.273" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T16:19:54.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8103" CreationDate="2013-06-15T03:15:47.953" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, to be clear, I am ABSOLUTELY NOT diagnosing anything!  I have nowhere near enough information to have anything more than a suspicion.  Even that suspicion is tenuous at best.  In no way should you take my words over the internet as anything other than general information, and you should see a professional for an appropriate evaluation for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you I'd have my child assessed by a Speech Language Pathologist.  There may be atypical oral anatomy or physiology.  My radar instantly goes up for Ankyloglossia when I hear of buccal pooling, especially with concomitant verbal expressive language issues.  At 24 months I expect to be hearing 2-word utterances, an expressive vocabulary of about 200-300 words, and ~50% intelligible speech.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ankyloglossia is a disorder where the lingual frenulum (the little flap of skin which connects the bottom of your tongue to the bottom of your mouth) is too short for the tongue to do it's work.  Often speech and feeding tasks are compromised, and patients may present with an inability to sweep the inferior buccal cavity (area between the cheeks/lower lips and lower teeth) with their tongue.  Additionally, since the tongue cannot lift appropriately sound production is compromised.  Sometimes there are bilabial sounds present (/p, b, m/), often there is a lack of appropriately articulated front, tongue high sounds (most obviously lingual alveolar plosive phonemes such as /t,d/ since at these ages the fricatives and affricates are rarely present).  Usually speech is muffled and garbled, and often children stop talking altogether because they're unable to perform the acts in a way which is intelligible to adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Modified Barium Swallow Study (MBS) is a procedure where a subject swallows a variety of textures with a little barium mixed in to make it glow on the x-ray and the Speech Language Pathologist (many people are surprised that this is in our scope of practice) watches to see if the airway protection mechanism functions appropriately to keep food from entering the trachia.  It's rarely used for oral phase disorders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be quite surprised if a modified barium swallow was ordered considering the location of the feeding disorder.  Generally these are only performed if there's concerns of aspiration.  Most likely there will be an oral peripheral examination.  During the exam the examiner will look inside your child's mouth and try to determine if there is a functional or structural problem.  There will probably be a small snack involved so the SLP can observe feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Motor planning disorders are rather rare, if I were your SLP I'd rule out disorders involving the oral anatomy first, then move on from there.  It's not impossible that there's a motor planning disorder but it's not what my differential diagnosis would immediately jump to considering the symptoms you describe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The specific specialists you might be interested in contacting would be: Speech Language Pathologist, Pediatric Ear Nose and Throat doctor (Otolaryngologist), or Pediatric Oral Surgeon.  I suspect that both the ENT and oral surgeon would want to see a report from an SLP prior to taking any corrective action &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; atypical lingual frenulum length is discovered.  They usually want a letter from me outlining my diagnosis and test results when I have a case like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4407" LastEditorUserId="4407" LastEditDate="2013-06-15T03:27:01.747" LastActivityDate="2013-06-15T03:27:01.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8257" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-15T03:45:13.890" Score="6" ViewCount="47795" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have an AngelCare monitor that uses a vibration sensor to detect if our daughter is breathing while in her crib sleeping.  Basically, if it detects no movement for 10 seconds, it gives a warning beep.  At 20 seconds, it goes crazy; waking the entire house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trouble is that our daughter is ok every time it goes off.  So, either 1: She got startled and is breathing again, or 2: it is a false alarm due to some glitch in the system, or vibration being absorbed by the crib, or something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems bad to just turn the vibration sensor off; I mean, we did buy it to give us some security, but if it keeps going off, where's the balance?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4420" LastActivityDate="2019-02-14T13:54:24.603" Title="Do false alarms on Angel Care monitor mean sleep apnea?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8258" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-15T13:23:56.967" Score="33" ViewCount="27218" Body="&lt;p&gt;Scenario: 1-bedroom apartment and there's no one else living in the house to watch the toddler. Any recommendation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4422" LastActivityDate="2018-01-30T14:38:24.720" Title="How do parents have sex when there's a toddler in the house?" Tags="|toddler|sex|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2013-06-15T14:57:23.647" Score="75" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wait until the toddler is asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-06-15T14:57:23.647" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8257" CreationDate="2013-06-15T19:23:16.163" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simple answer to your question is No, it doesn't mean apnea. The monitor attempts to detect movement, and it goes off when it does not detect movement. The slight breaths of an infant could easily be missed by such a device, which consists of a pad beneath a sheet beneath your clothed child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/AAP-Expands-Guidelines-for-Infant-Sleep-Safety-and-SIDS-Risk-Reduction.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a%20No%20local%20token&amp;amp;nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a%20No%20local%20token&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; specifically recommends against these monitors (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/english/ages-stages/baby/sleep/pages/Preventing-SIDS.aspx&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; as well). They have not been found to reduce the incidence of SIDS. If your child is at risk for SIDS, your pediatrician will arrange for a proper apnea monitor which uses electrodes attached to baby's tummy rather than a mat beneath the baby's sheet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Products such as these seem to prey on the fears of new parents. You are afraid to sleep because something could happen to your child while you are sleeping. This is understandable. Welcome to parenting! Every age and stage will bring new fears, and you must learn to deal with them, not by building in a false sense of security by avoiding every possible risk, but by accepting that fear is part of the job you have signed up for! The longer you do it, the better you become at it, but the fear will never completely go away. It's part of what makes parenting such a rich experience - you love your child so much that your are prepared to live with the fear that comes with his learning to take risks in the world. The first such risk - sleeping alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still unconvinced? Think about this - The use of such a monitor means every time your child gets into a deep enough sleep that his movements are not detected for 10 seconds (and I will tell you that proper apnea monitors are not usually set that low!), the monitor wakes him up with a vibration. What quality of sleep is your child getting? At 20 seconds, the whole house is awoken - bad sleep all around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To reduce the risk of SIDS, you are much better to follow the other recommendations of the AAP (see link above), like breastfeeding if possible, getting immunizations, not using bumper pads, sleeping baby on his back on a firm surface (though baby will eventually choose his own position). Also, be sure to give your baby tummy time when awake, as this will prevent &quot;flathead&quot; and help develop neck muscles which will allow the baby to adjust his own head position when blankets or other materials are impairing his breathing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-15T19:23:16.163" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8263" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8367" CreationDate="2013-06-16T06:54:48.637" Score="4" ViewCount="197" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the primary ways I could search for websites which contain stories suitable for five year old children learning to read?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried using phrases like &quot;Children learning to read stories&quot; and similar keywords but I usually end up at sites which have mostly games or videos - neither of which I am looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, does anyone know how to find sites which contain stories to help young children learn to read?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T11:20:35.140" Title="How to find websites to help 5 year olds to learn to read" Tags="|reading|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8264" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8265" CreationDate="2013-06-16T11:42:41.857" Score="3" ViewCount="712" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid will be born tomorrow. I wish to know if feeding time is the right time to &quot;talk&quot; to him and read him stories?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am asking this because I have heard that kids fall asleep while breast feeding and I think my continuous chatter will not let him sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, my parents say that while eating we should concentrate only on food and shouldn't even talk. I afraid that talking and story telling during feeding might turn out to be a bad habit(?) Is my concern valid?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, what is the appropriate time for story telling? At what age will timing matter considering that the child will consider it a babble initially?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-06-16T14:48:09.630" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T14:59:24.567" Title="Is feeding the right time to talk and read to a kid?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|eating|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8264" CreationDate="2013-06-16T12:47:17.147" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you can talk to your child at any time, keeping in mind that it may be distraction, especially when it is time to go to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During breast-feeding, the child will be focussed on feeding, and will generally be in a quite relaxed state. Talking gently during this time is likely to be good for the bond with the child, but it could also be distracting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Story-time should allow the child to completely focus on the story, partly to calm the child down, but also to build the tradition and love for books. Mixing this time with feeding could create the wrong associations. It is also unnecessary to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, child-raising is a very delicate business, and the only truly universal rule of parenting at this stage is &quot;Do whatever works for you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The correct time for story telling varies from child to child and as the child gets older. Initially, anytime is good time, as long as it doesn't disturb the child. In those days you can even get all the way through the story. If the child starts to love story telling, then you may find yourself reading the same story 10 or so times per day. They may not understand a word, but it is useful for their development, and of course building a parental bond. As the child gets older, the time and the way of story telling will change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At present without our 16 month year old, we read sometimes when she goes to bed, unless she's too tired. Sometimes it will be one story, sometimes three. We also read a couple of times during the day, but only if she is a bit tired. These days we never read all the words, as she doesn't have the patients for that. We just describe the pictures. But we are already witnessing a change – she is starting to want to hear more of the actual story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-06-16T15:03:20.073" LastActivityDate="2013-06-16T15:03:20.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8263" CreationDate="2013-06-16T15:59:21.793" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually when you are looking for downloadable/printable files, if you append your search with &lt;em&gt;filetype:pdf&lt;/em&gt; it will get you what you want. In this case, that yielded documents that were about the search terms (I used &lt;em&gt;children's stories&lt;/em&gt;) rather than example of children's stories. I redid the search with &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=children%27s%20stories%20filteype%3a.pdf&amp;amp;ie=utf-8&amp;amp;oe=utf-8&amp;amp;aq=t&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla%3aen-US%3aofficial&amp;amp;client=firefox-a#client=firefox-a&amp;amp;hs=tjG&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla%3aen-US%3aofficial&amp;amp;sclient=psy-ab&amp;amp;q=children%27s%20stories%20.pdf&amp;amp;oq=children%27s%20stories%20.pdf&amp;amp;gs_l=serp.3..0i30j0i7i30l2j0i30.33979.35498.2.38342.9.9.0.0.0.0.139.1074.0j9.9.0...0.0...1c.1.17.psy-ab.f5yTwr4W7u8&amp;amp;pbx=1&amp;amp;bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&amp;amp;bvm=bv.47883778,d.dmQ&amp;amp;fp=413195408aebdc26&amp;amp;biw=1366&amp;amp;bih=638&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;children's stories .pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, and I think I got closer to what you were looking for, which is sites of children stories that are being delivered in pdf format. You could redo the search with other terms and include the &quot;.pdf&quot; and perhaps get additional results. Pdf files are printable through Adobe's free software.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-16T15:59:21.793" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8268" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-16T23:56:01.367" Score="12" ViewCount="4041" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have recently transitioned our 2 year old from a cot into a bed.  We did this with some reservation but he appeared to be ready as he would constantly ask to go into his bed.  Also he started climbing onto the top bar of his cot so we thought it might be best to move him to his bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However now he is in we have a problem that when he wakes up early he can get out of his bed and walk around the house.  Typically into our room.  In the past we could leave him in in his cot and he would either churp away or cry to be picked up at which point we might leave him for as long as possible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has always been an early waker even though we never got up early to him.  At least from as long as I can remember anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he is only waking up 45min to 1hour we are finding it hard to tell him to go back to sleep, especially as he has already woken up walking around.  He wakes up at &lt;strong&gt;5:30am - 6am&lt;/strong&gt; instead of &lt;strong&gt;6:30am&lt;/strong&gt; which we would be happy with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are hesitant to completely close his door so he can't get out but apart from that we don't know what to do.  Why?  Just a personal thing at this stage in that we like to have his door ajar just so we can hear him if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His room is completely dark so when he wakes he won't be able to see much (so there's no morning light issues).  We have tried telling him it's not time to wake up yet however he is already fully awake by that time it seems tough to ask him to go back to sleep (for 45min to 1hr?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes to bed early-ish in the evenings and at times has good sleeps during the day.  We don't force either of these and try to work in with his state each day, although we also stick to a routine as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE Sept:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I thought I would provide an update to this.  Our little guy is much better now although he is still waking up once during the night (at which point I just pick him up and take him back to bed) as well as waking up early.  However he is slowly getting better.  Now although he complains more often than not it's not a continual cry.  Things that we are doing now include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Purchased a Gro clock and have been constantly drumming in that he can only come into mummies and daddies room when the sun comes up.  He gets the concept and it's almost... working.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Started a sticker chart.  Although he doesn't fully understand it is a nice treat for him now and he sort of understands when he isn't allowed on.  He is only allowed one when he has stayed in his room.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I started off hoping into bed with him for a month in the core of winter but the last 4 weeks I've been filtering that off so now I don't need to and just take him back to his room (although he does still complain and cry/grizzle at times).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's been about 4months.  Slowly but surely he's getting there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2455" LastEditorUserId="2455" LastEditDate="2013-09-06T20:39:06.043" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T22:24:34.887" Title="Toddler is in bed but wakes up an hour early and walks into our room" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8268" CreationDate="2013-06-17T00:55:57.000" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are lots of things you could try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a gate (extra tall or &quot;no climb&quot;) - though he will probably just call out to you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a later bed time for him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;an earlier bed time for you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you could invite him into your bed with you while you wake up - he can&#xA;arrange your legs under the covers to create a tent. Keep a couple&#xA;favorite toys handy to play with in the tent. There's nothing quite like little cars running over your toes and up your shins while you come to!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you could get up and lie in his bed or on the sofa and doze while he plays nearby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line, you will have much more success at this age by adjusting to his schedule rather than expecting him to adjust to yours. No stage lasts very long. He'll hit a growth spurt and need more sleep, and this will cease to be an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T00:55:57.000" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2013-06-17T03:51:53.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's normal! I used to do this at that age and I am 15 now. I loved dancing to Cinderella and acting like her. I would get in my mom's shoes and her dresses. My dad was sooo worried about me thinking I was going to be gay. No, I am straight! It was just in his imagination. I used to love putting on makeup, wearing a wig, be a witch whenever it was Halloween. Embrace it! Very few families have this! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4428" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-06-17T11:44:34.040" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T11:44:34.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8268" CreationDate="2013-06-17T12:52:08.153" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ours get up at stupid o'clock too.  So, we got a night/day clock called the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodnitelite.com/&quot;&gt;Good Nite Light&lt;/a&gt;.  It lights up the moon when they should be in bed, and the sun when it's time to get up.  Worked a treat with both of them (the 2-yr-old plays in his room until the sun lights up, the 4-yr-old stays in bed until hers comes on).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also put a baby gate at his doorway and leave his door open, so he will be restrained in his room but not locked in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T12:52:08.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8273" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8294" CreationDate="2013-06-17T15:03:18.383" Score="2" ViewCount="287" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to learn about what's effective and what's not when it comes to getting a toddler to eat. I prefer a book based on science/data rather than anecdotes/opinions. Does anyone know of such a book?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4430" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T15:51:25.103" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T15:51:25.103" Title="Is there a science-based book on how to handle mealtime with fussy toddlers?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8274" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8289" CreationDate="2013-06-17T15:56:37.937" Score="2" ViewCount="432" Body="&lt;p&gt;How should you respond when a child repeatedly does good things in the wrong way?  For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Interrupting someone else's conversation to give a compliment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Saying &quot;I love you&quot; to distract from something he's done wrong.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Helpfully&quot; informing a parent of something parents would want to know, after the parent has seen for himself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Copying another child's nice greeting or gesture in order to steal the attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making very demanding requests in a polite way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Being excited and seeking praise for things that are easy for him, but hard for his sisters (like going on the potty).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this was only occasional, it would be easy to handle, but it feels like almost all my six year-old's positive behavior lately is occurring in these kinds of contexts.  I am at a loss for how to handle it without knocking down every positive thing he tries to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T03:29:46.580" Title="Doing good things in the wrong way" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8275" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-17T16:51:50.087" Score="6" ViewCount="402" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to start planning out projects that my son and I can work on together.  My goal is to create learning opportunities through interactive play, within 20-60 minute time periods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty open-ended on the types of learning opportunities these play sessions may provide.  These sessions could cover everything from art to basic language skills to physical coordination and dexterity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is 33 months old.  I'd like to get these projects started as a regular activity, and keep them going at least until he starts school.  My hope is to transition this into ability-appropriate supplemental education that we can build on top of his future public-school education (my version of homeschooling).  This means that the topics will eventually transition to more academic topics (math, science, history, etc.), but for now I'd like to focus on skills appropriate to a toddler or pre-schooler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help me develop a list of suitable project, I plan on identifying developmentally-appropriate skills or concepts that my son could work on, and then try to develop fun activities that would focus on those skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tricky part is to identify what skills he hasn't perfected, but which he has the developmental &lt;em&gt;potential&lt;/em&gt; to perfect (or at least improve).  I don't want to work on connect-the-dots, for example, until he has sufficient mastery of hand-eye coordination to successfully draw from point A to point B.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there are plenty of documented guidelines for expected milestones, these are typically framed as &quot;by this age, they should be able to do x, y, and z, and &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be able to do a, b, and c.&quot;  The actual age at which children hit these milestones varies quite widely from individual to individual, and any given child can hit some milestones early, and others late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I track my son's progress in a way that will let me keep pace right on the edge, so to speak, of where his ability starts to fall behind his current potential?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T23:21:07.560" Title="How do I determine developmentally-appropriate projects for my toddler?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|development|education|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8276" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-17T18:12:10.207" Score="4" ViewCount="266" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old daughter gets very frustrated when things don't work for her the first time.  She seems to go from happy to crazy upset immediately.  Is this a time-appropriate developmental thing?  I think this is partly my fault because I don't have a great temper.  How can I model better behavior for my daughter to improve her happiness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4432" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T19:52:59.347" Title="how to teach persistence to 3 year old" Tags="|toddler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8277" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-17T18:23:53.700" Score="7" ViewCount="1074" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some good tips for preparing my 3 year old daughter for a new baby-sister? we've got new baby books and stuff like that but she's probably still going to have a heard time of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4432" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T19:40:04.510" Title="Preparing 3 year old for new baby?" Tags="|toddler|newborn|jealousy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2013-06-17T18:26:55.913" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, this is a good problem to have.  I think you should get a baby-sitter to take the kid on a walk for an hour or so one weeek-end day.  You are so worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4432" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T18:26:55.913" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8268" CreationDate="2013-06-17T18:27:04.743" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is an early-waker--she wakes up in the 6:00 hour bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to start the day.  This is still an improvement over her 5:00ish wakings.  My son has be dragged out of bed practically kicking and screaming every morning.  Not an early-riser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids are just early-risers which sucks if you, as mom and dad, are not, but it's MUCH harder to change their schedule than it is to change your schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; put him back in a crib/cot.  He's all ready demonstrated that he's figuring out how to climb out of it which just makes it equally as dangerous if not more so than letting him wander unattended around the house.  Plus, now that he's had a taste of independence, he's likely to balk at going back into the baby bed anyway.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, you can't reason with him.  Telling him it's not time to get up and to go back to bed when it's the same time he's been getting up all along doesn't make any sense to him at all.  Of course it's time for him to get up!  And, you're right, getting him to go back to sleep for 45 minutes to an hour is more trouble than it's worth.  By the time you get him settled back down and asleep, it will be time to wake him up again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Valkyrie makes a point that you could try using the night light.  I've never used one with my kids, but I have heard complaints that sometimes the lights are too bright and actually wake kids up which is obviously counterproductive.  Perhaps the one mentioned above is one of the better ones--I don't know.  Some kids are just hypersensitive to any light in their bedroom when they sleep.  I've also spoken with a lot of parents that have had spotty results with the 2-year-old set.  Maybe it depends on if your kid is a younger two or an older two, but some 2-year-olds just have a hard time grasping the concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you're willing to get up with him, you've got to find a way to more or less barricade him in his room with a gate of some type.  It's really no different than leaving him in his crib/cot, he just has more room to play.  If it's dark in his room when he wakes up, then finding him a little light that he can turn on by himself and that he can reach will allow him to play in his room until it's time for to you go in and get him (maybe one that has a little pull-chain to turn the light on?  We have one in our living room and it is insanely popular with my kids).  You can still leave the door open and hear him if he calls for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe when he's a teenager he'll start sleeping longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T18:27:04.743" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3261" CreationDate="2013-06-17T18:35:34.633" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nosefrida FTW&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00171WXII&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Nosefrida-The-Snotsucker-Nasal-Aspirator/dp/B00171WXII&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know sucking snot seems gross, but it really provides you a lot of control.  Plus there's a sponge in there protecting you from actually tasting baby snot (I'm sure we've all done worse as parents).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4432" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T18:35:34.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8281" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-17T18:37:56.360" Score="-1" ViewCount="2291" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know, I'm a terrible dad but sometimes I have to plop the kid in front of the TV.  Are some shows better than others in terms of positive role models for girls, lack of violence, and learning?  She currently loves Kipper, wiggles, blues clues, and dora.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4432" LastActivityDate="2013-06-21T12:47:58.410" Title="What are the best tv shows for a 3 year old" Tags="|toddler|television|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2013-06-21T10:57:41.760" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8022" CreationDate="2013-06-17T18:42:35.530" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This looks ok to me.  Our daughter had a little tummy as well and our doctor said that it takes some time for the toddlers to develop core strength and stomach muscles.  This is just part of her development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4432" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T18:42:35.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8277" CreationDate="2013-06-17T19:08:54.560" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, since you know she's having a sister, I'm guessing your wife is pretty far along in her pregnancy.  Obviously, the sooner you get started, the better.  Discussing with your daughter that mommy is going to have a new baby and sort of figuring out what your daughter understands about babies.  Some kids sort of have this idea when Daddy and Mommy say they're bringing home a brother or a sister that the &quot;baby&quot; arrives as an immediate playmate--same age and everything.  I can't tell you the disappointment this brings.  Here are my big talking points (ie.  things I wish I'd told my son before his little sister arrived):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Mommy and Daddy will always love you.  We don't love you any less just because baby sister is here and there is nothing you can ever do to make us not love you.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Babies take a lot of care and attention and sometimes it may seem like Mommy and Daddy are always dealing with the baby&quot; (this is especially true if baby #2 arrives with a medical condition [like mine did], has colic [like mine did], or is just an especially needy baby).  But we will &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; make time for &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;--then follow through with it.  Have a regular lunch date with your oldest once a week where she can have at least one parent's undivided attention.  Or take her to the grocery store with you.  Or to the park.  Every opportunity you get to take her with you somewhere, take it.  And if you can start doing these things &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; before the baby gets here, then it might become a comforting &quot;normal&quot; thing to do after the baby arrives and everything is upside-down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play up her role as the &quot;big sister&quot;.  Tell her about all the things that &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; can do that baby sister &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; do because she's too little.  Then enlist her to help as much as she can.  Have her retrieve a diaper for the baby.  Play peek-a-boo with her when she gets a little older (my son &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; plays peek-a-boo with his sister and she's almost 3!).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're going to set up a different nursery for the baby, have her help pick out some special items for the nursery.  OR if you're going to move her to a new room and leave the nursery as-is, &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; involve her getting her new room ready.  My son was surprisingly upset when we set up the crib in the nursery even though he hadn't slept in it for months!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take her to pick out a few new special outfits for the baby.  My son picked out 2 little dresses for his sister and he was SO proud of those little dresses!  If you want, you can wrap up the gift for her to give to her sister when she visits in the hospital.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick our a toy/present for the baby to give to your daughter after she's born.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to your daughter about what's going to happen when Mommy goes into labor.  You don't have to go into details, but if you've got plans for grandma to come over and stay with her while your wife goes to the hospital, tell your daughter so she knows what to expect:  &quot;When it's time for Mommy to go to the hospital to have the baby, Grandma is going to come over and spend the night with you.  And you'll have so much fun!&quot; or whatever your plans may be.  That way she knows what to expect and not to be scared.  I mean, it can be &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; scary for a 3-year-old for Mommy and Daddy to rush out of the house in the middle of the night and for her to wake up and suddenly Grandma is there instead!.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's all I can think of off the top of my head.  I know some of these things aren't useful until closer to or after baby's arrival, but a few of them might start you off in the right direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T19:08:54.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8277" CreationDate="2013-06-17T19:40:04.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Meg Coates knocked it out of the park.  One thing I'd do is schedule some one-on-one time with her as much as you can.  My 3-yr-old spent the first few weeks after her brother came home telling me &quot;I don't love you.&quot;  Translation: I'm jealous and can't really express it.  Some Mommy-Daughter and Daddy-Daughter dates fixed that right up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T19:40:04.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8276" CreationDate="2013-06-17T19:52:59.347" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's a normal developmental thing for that age.  Basically, they have trouble &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.softpedia.com/news/Children-039-s-Future-Plans-Influenced-by-Their-Present-State-of-Mind-34705.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;planning for the future&lt;/a&gt;, which means if they can't accomplish something the first time, their brains aren't yet wired to believe it will come with practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ironically, the only way you can really fix that is to practice.  We've found singing the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nickjr.com/kids-videos/yo-gabba-keep-trying.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Keep Trying&lt;/a&gt; song from Yo Gabba Gabba helps ease the frustration somewhat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T19:52:59.347" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8281" CreationDate="2013-06-17T19:58:04.760" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Did you already check out the other questions tagged with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/television&quot;&gt;television&lt;/a&gt;? Notable examples are (in no particular order):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7928/how-do-you-gauge-if-a-show-movie-or-story-may-be-too-frightening-for-your-child&quot;&gt;How do you gauge if a show, movie or story may be too frightening for your child?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2607/is-there-any-consensus-among-researchers-concerning-the-effects-of-watching-tele&quot;&gt;Is there any consensus among researchers concerning the effects of watching television and the likes for a child&amp;#39;s development?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2273/what-tv-shows-are-wholesome-for-primary-schoolers&quot;&gt;What TV shows are wholesome for primary-schoolers?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/982/how-many-hours-of-television-per-day-are-acceptable-for-a-pre-schooler&quot;&gt;How many hours of television per day are acceptable for a pre-schooler?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3/at-what-age-should-a-child-be-introduced-to-the-television&quot;&gt;At what age should a child be introduced to the Television?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, toddlers should not watch a lot of TV, and not in long blocks of time,  and certainly not too much action (bad: Tom&amp;amp;Jerry -- better: Barbapapa, Bob the Builder). I would really recommend something that is &lt;strong&gt;slow-paced,&lt;/strong&gt; something that can be enjoyed in &lt;strong&gt;small chunks of time,&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;something you can stand hearing repeated&lt;/strong&gt; a hundred times over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would personally limit it to 15-minute sessions, maybe 2 or 3 times per day if you must, but I know I'm relatively conservative with these numbers. My toddler is happy with a single episode of &lt;em&gt;Barbapapa,&lt;/em&gt; but the upbeat &lt;em&gt;Pink Panther&lt;/em&gt; cartoons demand two or three episodes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-06-21T12:47:58.410" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2013-06-17T20:22:10.387" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like the top poster's response on providing limited choices.  &quot;Do you want to walk or be carried to your room&quot;  &quot;No answer? ok then I guess we'll carry you&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I noticed is that if you give two choices, my kid would choose the second one 70% of the time at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4432" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T20:22:10.387" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8275" CreationDate="2013-06-17T22:57:07.380" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think what you're looking for is something termed in education as &lt;em&gt;the zone of proximal development&lt;/em&gt;, a scaffolding concept developed by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.simplypsychology.org/Zone-of-Proximal-Development.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Lev Vygotsky&lt;/a&gt;.  Simply, the ZPD is the distance between what a student knows in a given area and what he/she needs to know and can learn with the help of someone who has all ready mastered the skill.  In a classroom, for example, a teacher might pair a student who is still learning their 5 times tables with one who has all ready mastered them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order for this whole thing to work well, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; (or whoever is going to be instructing your son) needs to sit down and really think about the things your son needs to be able to do in order to successfully master a given skill.  For example, if you wanted your son to be able to build a birdhouse, he'd need to know not only how to hammer and nail, but also how to measure, use a saw to cut, etc. so he would need to be taught each of those things before he could be expected to successfully build the birdhouse.  You might construct little tasks that would allow him to practice and master each of those skills individually before moving on to building a whole birdhouse.  Now I obviously don't think you're going to be teaching a 33-month-old to build a birdhouse, but I wanted to use that as an example so you could see how you need to breakdown each skill into its constituent parts.  At first, it can be difficult because a lot of times the things that we, as adults, are trying to teach young children is so rudimentary that we don't really realize how complex a given process really is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, maybe this isn't at all what you're getting at, but it sort of seems like it from your wording.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T22:57:07.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8274" CreationDate="2013-06-17T23:26:12.803" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh, my, is this what my future looks like?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It looks like the things you listed fall into a couple of different categories so I'm going to see what I can come up with for each of your bullet points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Interrupting:  I'd like to think that at the age of 6 he has a pretty good handle on not interrupting, but I also know that it's something kids struggle with well beyond age 6.  It sounds to me like he's doing it to get attention maybe?  So perhaps the correct tactic would be to stop your conversation and say, &quot;That was a very nice compliment.  It would have been a much nicer compliment if you hadn't interrupted our conversation to share it, then we could have really enjoyed it.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Saying &quot;I love you&quot;:  This is purely a distraction.  Don't be distracted.  I have always told my kids, &quot;There is nothing you will ever be able to do to make me NOT love you, but that doesn't mean you're not going to get in trouble if you do something wrong.&quot;  It's tough for kids to understand that you can love them to distraction and still be able to punish them if they get in trouble.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Helpfully&quot; informing a parent:  Sounds like tattling to me--especially if you've all ready seen it.  If he knows you know and he's still telling you, that's just impudence and that just runs all over me, personally.  A lot of schools have no-tattling policies and have started pushing the distinction on their elementary school students.  The general policy is:  Is student A harming himself?  Is student A hurt?  Is student A hurting someone else?  Is student A in danger of harming himself of someone else?  No?  Then you don't need to tell a teacher about it.  The same should be true for siblings and parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Copying another child to steal the attention:  Praise the other child or give generic praise that doesn't just throw the limelight on your son.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making demanding requests:  Six-year-olds do not get to make demanding requests no matter how politely they ask.  If it's a somewhat reasonable request but needs some modifications, perhaps asking him to repeat it just as politely, eliminating the part of the request that is unacceptable.  And remember to thank him for remembering his manners.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Seeking praise for easy things:  Really?  No praise.  It's unlikely that he's going to revert diapers if you don't praise him because he used the potty.  How about if you encourage him to praise his sisters when they use the potty?  Then praise &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; for being such a great big brother.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know what you're saying.  It seems like about once a year I go through a phase with my son (who's 5) where he just starts testing boundaries and it's a different way every year.  And it suddenly dawns on me one day that I've been riding him about everything for about a week--and it wears on him and it wears on me and I feel like a terrible parent!  I don't let up on the boundary issue.  He's 5 and there are just things he needs to learn, but I start supplementing with more praise and finding opportunities to praise him, I start making extra efforts to spend more one-on-one time with him--you're right, I don't want to tear him down completely while he's learning.  The boundaries get adjusted as necessary, and eventually things settle back down.  Sounds like you're in one of those cycles, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-06-17T23:26:12.803" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8275" CreationDate="2013-06-18T00:06:09.597" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cte.jhu.edu/onlinecourses/HealthyBeginnings/HB_BookCharts.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://cte.jhu.edu/onlinecourses/HealthyBeginnings/HB_BookCharts.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Map out each skill level your child has, and what the next skill would be.  When considering a skill mastered look for whether the skill is stable and generalized, meaning is it used consistently and is it used in all environments.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, look here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cte.jhu.edu/onlinecourses/HealthyBeginnings/HBFINAL.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://cte.jhu.edu/onlinecourses/HealthyBeginnings/HBFINAL.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Locate the skill you want to work on and in the last column you'll find activities which can facilitate the skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This link:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pfs.cte.jhu.edu/pf/pfs/pflink-dgn5jca&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://pfs.cte.jhu.edu/pf/pfs/pflink-dgn5jca&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is useful as long as you're very cognizant of whether the activity which comes up is appropriate for your child's skill levels.  It's nice because it's easy, a couple clicks and you've got an activity, but it's not focused on your particular child's skill levels so you really have to mold the activity to be appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT (additional resources):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I specialize in birth - 36 months, so my resources for other age groups are somewhat limited, but here are some things I found in my links file.  I apologize for not having more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Virginia Dept. of Social Services has a nice handout which goes up above 48 months:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dss.virginia.gov/files/division/cc/provider_training_development/intro_page/publications/milestones/milestones_one_document/milestones.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.dss.virginia.gov/files/division/cc/provider_training_development/intro_page/publications/milestones/milestones_one_document/milestones.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The CELL Parent Practice Guides are good, but they don't break down ages as explicitly:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.earlyliteracylearning.org/pgparents.php#preschoolers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.earlyliteracylearning.org/pgparents.php#preschoolers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The CDC has some general tips:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/preschoolers.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/preschoolers.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The CDC also has a nice chart you can print out and check off skills:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/pdf/parents_pdfs/MilestoneMomentsEng508.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/pdf/parents_pdfs/MilestoneMomentsEng508.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4407" LastEditorUserId="4407" LastEditDate="2013-06-18T23:21:07.560" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T23:21:07.560" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8275" CreationDate="2013-06-18T03:23:07.247" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it would be useful to choose rather open ended projects that let you be agile about what your child will do in them and what will constitute done. You mention connect-the-dots and not knowing if he can or not yet. If you make up a connect the dots worksheet and bring it to him, that could lead to either of you becoming frustrated or not enjoying the activity. Instead, you could try something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;let's make marks on the paper! This is cool, isn't it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;let's make marks together. Do something, I'll copy it. That's fun! Can you copy this? Wow, that looks a lot like mine!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you draw something - a line or two. I'll &quot;finish&quot; it. Now I'll start something and you &quot;finish&quot; it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'll draw some dots, and show them to you, and then start connecting them. Can you connect some too? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Within this one activity you can go as far as you like in terms of teaching him to draw specific shapes, naming shapes, having him name a shape you draw or draw a shape you name - or you could stay at &quot;we're having fun scribbling together&quot; for a long time. In the same way playing with blocks that have letters or numbers on them could be about naming things, putting things in order, spelling, counting, or a variety of other things. If you have some sort of musical instruments, it could be &quot;let's make noises!&quot; or it could work up to copying the notes you played, naming notes, understanding chords (perhaps not at 33 months, but you're thinking long term) and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child doesn't know there's a goal to reach, they can't fail. They just keep on succeeding and doing fun stuff with you. The more open ended your activities are at the start, and the more you can &quot;be in the moment&quot; enjoying them, the less the chance that you'll be frustrated. Exploring art, words, numbers, music, how structures hold together and collapse, ... you're going to have such a great time! Almost makes me wish for that time again myself. Almost :-).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T03:23:07.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8274" CreationDate="2013-06-18T03:29:46.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Doing good things in a bad way is &quot;not doing good things.&quot; These behaviors are all inappropriate attempts to get attention (age-appropriate, perhaps, but undesirable and worth discouraging). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone is trying to get attention inappropriately, your best approach is to withhold attention. Try ignoring the behavior. If it persists or gets louder (as it is apt to), respond like a broken record (&quot;That behavior isn't nice.&quot;) Don't try to explain it - he will get the pattern after he hears it enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time you will want to address his need for attention and his need to compete with his siblings, which probably stem from low self-esteem. Try teaching him some new things for which you can genuinely praise him, but limit your praise to descriptions of his accomplishment rather than parent-assigned adjectives (&quot;You hopped seven times in a row without putting your other foot down!&quot; instead of &quot;You are a really good hopper&quot; or &quot;I am really proud of your hopping&quot;). He needs to learn to see his own accomplishments and assign value to them himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T03:29:46.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8273" CreationDate="2013-06-18T04:04:28.780" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is a bibliography to get you started. If your local library does not have any of these, they are readily available through interlibrary loan (US), or your librarian may ask the library to purchase (newer titles) for you, or the librarian may recommend a similar title that they do have. These books will be found in the Dewey Decimal system under 618.92 (pediatric health).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Boakes, Robert A, David A. Popplewell, and Michael J. Burton. &lt;em&gt;Eating&#xA;Habits: Food Physiology, and Learned Behaviour&lt;/em&gt;. Chichester: Wiley, 1987.  A series of articles, including:  The Acquisition of Food Acceptance Patterns in Children - Signals Determining Meal Size -&#xA;Cognitive Experimental Psychology of Appetite&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Piette, Linda D. &lt;em&gt;Just Two More Bites!: Helping Picky Eaters Say &quot;yes&quot;&#xA;to Food&lt;/em&gt;. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2006.  Contents:  Solving the&#xA;puzzle of picky eating -- Understanding growth -- Feeding skills --&#xA;Fussy babies -- Fussy toddlers and preschoolers -- How much nutrition&#xA;is enough? -- Making food desirable -- Food textures and flavors --&#xA;Family influences -- Mealtime do's and don'ts -- Food allergies and&#xA;digestion problems -- Feeding a chlid with special needs -- Special&#xA;services, tests and treatments.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wilkoff, William G. &lt;em&gt;Coping with a Picky Eater: A Guide for the&#xA;Perplexed Parent&lt;/em&gt;. New York: Fireside, 1998. Contents: Have You Picked&#xA;Up the Right Book? --; Before You Read Another Word... --; A Few&#xA;Ounces of Prevention --; Not So Great Expectations --; Not to Worry&#xA;--; Getting Ready to Take the Leap --; Assembling Your Support Group --; Do You Need to Change Your Parenting Style? --; Everyone Needs Some Rules --; When the Rules Are Challenged --; If You Push --; Does&#xA;Your Child Have a Drinking Problem? --; Too Much of a Good Thing --;&#xA;A Banquet Once a Day ... Every Day --; Just Desserts (or Never Say&#xA;Never) --; So Now What Do You Offer? --; Getting Down to Basics --;&#xA;Suggested Menus --; Vitamins and Other Bad Ideas --; Some Final&#xA;Thoughts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Healthy Eating for Life for Children&lt;/em&gt;. New York: Wiley, 2002. From the&#xA;Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. Drawing on the latest&#xA;medical and dietary research, Healthy Eating for Life for Children&#xA;presents a complete and sensible plant-based nutrition program that&#xA;can help you promote and maintain excellent health and good eating&#xA;habits for your children throughout their lives.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fish, Donna. &lt;em&gt;Take the Fight Out of Food: How to Prevent and Solve&#xA;Your Child's Eating Problems : for Children Aged Nine Months Through&#xA;Nine Years&lt;/em&gt;. New York: Atria Books, 2005. Presents guidelines for&#xA;parents on how to instill healthy eating habits throughout childhood,&#xA;counseling them on how to teach nutrition-based values and recognize&#xA;messages that a family may be unconsciously teaching children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kleinman, Ronald E, Michael S. Jellinek, and Julie Houston. &lt;em&gt;Let Them&#xA;Eat Cake!: The Case against Controlling What Your Children Eat : the&#xA;Pediatrician's Guide to Safe and Healthy Food and Growth&lt;/em&gt;. New York:&#xA;Villard Books, 1994. The premise of this book is that if a child is&#xA;healthy and his or her growth and development are normal there is no&#xA;need to obsess about the food that child eats. Contains hints and&#xA;tips about real-world food and nutrition, including meal plans,&#xA;menus, and the latest information on food safety and preparation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pantley, Elizabeth. &lt;em&gt;The No-Cry Picky Eater Solution: Gentle Ways to&#xA;Encourage Your Child to Eat and Eat Healthy&lt;/em&gt;. New York: McGraw-Hill,&#xA;Contents: What you really need to know about picky eaters -- The fundamental four: attitude, environment, amounts, and rules --&#xA;Tips, tricks and tactics: Solving picky eater problems -- The&#xA;experts' favorites: Recipes even your picky eater will love&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drewett, Robert. &lt;em&gt;The Nutritional Psychology of Childhood.&lt;/em&gt; Cambridge:&#xA;Cambridge University Press, 2007. The Nutritional Psychology of&#xA;Childhood is a systematic account of research on the psychological&#xA;aspects of nutrition in children from birth to adolescence. It deals&#xA;with two major themes: the development of eating and the effects of&#xA;malnutrition on the developing child. Robert Drewett discusses the&#xA;developmental problems that arise with eating and food intake,&#xA;including nursing and weaning in infancy, the handling of solids and&#xA;the development of food choice and eating habits.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Jana, Laura A, and Jennifer Shu. &lt;em&gt;Food Fights: Winning the Nutritional&#xA;Challenges of Parenthood Armed with Insight, Humor and a Bottle of&#xA;Ketchup&lt;/em&gt;. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics, 2012.&#xA;From the American Academy of Pediatrics. The authors tastefully blend&#xA;the science of nutrition and pediatrics with the practical insights&#xA;of parents who have been in your shoes―offering simple solutions for&#xA;your daily nutritional challenges.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-06-18T15:08:38.590" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T15:08:38.590" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5395" CreationDate="2013-06-18T12:51:57.783" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my children also refused to wear shorts. I found zip off pants were a great solution. You put on pants, and if it gets hot you zip off the legs and now you're wearing shorts. Feel a little cool, put the legs back on. For the shirts, you could suggest wearing a tshirt under a longsleeved shirt, and later if it's hot suggest taking off the long sleeved shirt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only started caring about it because there were times when he was clearly hot and uncomfortable mid-day, and not playing as he could outside, as a result of clothing choices made much earlier. Using zip off pants and layers of shirts made these decisions less binding and gave him the freedom to control what he wore. This is especially true if you're dressing in the morning and then leaving the house for the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T12:51:57.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6172" CreationDate="2013-06-18T14:06:03.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a follow-up, my child was eventually diagnosed with &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;low muscle tone&lt;/a&gt; in her legs at 12 months. Her hypotonia causes her hips to be too flexible. So moving her legs requires extra effort compared to someone wtih low tone, and where most toddlers have wobbly ankles she has both wobbly ankles and wobbly hips. She also has a reluctance to engage her core, though she has not been diagnosed with low muscle tone in her core by her pediatrician. Because of her low tone she has been seeing a physical therapist for several months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 15 months her physical therapist actually recommended that we attempt to go back and re-visit tummy time with our now crawling, assisted-walking, and even taking several steps toddler.  The logic behind revisiting tummy time at this phase in her gross motor development is that tummy time will enhance her balance and give her the confidence she needs to move forward with walking While the accepted answer indeed is correct that you can't force anyone to do tummy time, our physical therapist has provided several excellent suggestions for engaging a reluctant child in tummy time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Place your child over your legs to provide some support and encourage playing with elbows and knees down. Possible things which are so engaging that the child will not immediately roll over, sit up, or crawl away include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a. The child's favorite toys (in my child's case small rocks outside work the best we've seen - I bet splashing in containers of water would also be very engaging).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;b. Engage your child in &quot;helping&quot; you fold laundry so that they can play with the clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;c. With a crawler have toys on both the side they are sitting/playing on of your legs and the side opposite. This way they will need to lay across your legs to get half of whatever game they are playing. The act of lying down and pushing off will help develop core strength and stability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;d. For a child who is currently eating finger foods doing tummy time during snack time may work, although this will not work for families who have determined that eating only occurs at the table.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do tummy time on a raised surface such as a counter with you right there to prevent rolling off. This minimizes the &quot;I can't see anything here on my stomach on the floor&quot; problem.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While practically doing handsprings to engage your child in tummy time may not be as essential for a child who does not need extra motivation, for kids who do need the extra work I hope this list is helpful. Some of these ideas will work well for younger babies, but some are more geared towards older infants or young toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-06-18T14:06:03.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5095" CreationDate="2013-06-19T00:40:58.337" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was like &quot;what the heck could be going on!?&quot; Until you said &quot;autism&quot;.... Even if it's mild, this could be one of his antics, rituals etc... as odd as it may sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would have said make him do all the cleaning up of the mess etc. but I bet that would be hard with him. Rewarding like you are doing is a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been working with Aspergers and autistic kids/adults and this works for them. This is a hard one, but it has to be broken or it will be a habit he carries into adulthood :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not to be cruel, but maybe bribe him with a place he likes to go... if he uses the toilet take him, if he has an accident take something that he loves away... (If he understands what he's doing is wrong) I don't really know... sorry and good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4438" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2013-06-20T13:03:51.340" LastActivityDate="2013-06-20T13:03:51.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3630" CreationDate="2013-06-19T02:05:21.460" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this is an old question, but in case anyone else searches and finds it I'd like to mention that at 16 months a child who is using no verbal language, and which the parents suspect the child doesn't understand verbal language, is a definite cause for concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to go about handling the concern is to contact your state (or county) Early Intervention program.  Generally Googling:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;city, state early intervention&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will yield the results you need.  For example, the Early Intervention program for the OP's area is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.health.state.ga.us/programs/bcw/index.asp&quot;&gt;http://www.health.state.ga.us/programs/bcw/index.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early Intervention is provided free of charge to families in USA school systems as part of IDEA.  They will assess your child in all areas of development and inform you of the results.  Each program has different qualification criteria, some more stringent than others.  An example of qualifying criteria would be 25% delay in one or more areas.  So if the child is 16 months of age and scores an age equivalent of 12 months or below, that child would be eligible for services in that program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering the specifics of the question, it would be remiss of me not to mention that the CDC recommends complete hearing evaluations every year for children with no risk factors for hearing loss, and every six months for children with risk factors (for example, language delay).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4407" LastActivityDate="2013-06-19T02:05:21.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8281" CreationDate="2013-06-19T09:46:55.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found Dora the Explorer was good, as it seemlessly introduced the concept of multiple languages. But you already have that one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can pre-vet them, try nature programs too. Our girl (now 8) is a huge fan of David Attenborough. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-06-19T09:46:55.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8301" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8312" CreationDate="2013-06-20T16:20:13.070" Score="30" ViewCount="548742" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is almost 3 (33 months) and for the past few months, he has been holding his poop in, to the point that he won't go for many days a time. When this started, the doctor advised us to give him Miralax to make his stool softer so it comes out more easily. Even &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; the Miralax, he still managed to hold it for two days at a time sometimes, but at least it was coming out at all, so we continued with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, we've been giving him the Miralax for months now, and now he's (supposed to be) going to preschool in September, which of course requires that he be potty trained. We don't want to hold him back since he's developmentally ready otherwise, so we started potty training a few weeks ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He picked up the potty training really quickly – for peeing – but he still holds his poop in no matter what. If he's sitting on the potty, as soon as he's about to do it, he stands up and just keeps holding it in (and once he starts to stand, if we even so much as &lt;em&gt;ask&lt;/em&gt; him to sit back down, he screams and cries).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; to convince him (or distract him enough) to sit and poop: reading books, singing songs, playing games, playing with toys, offering him snacks/treats (graham crackers), giving him stickers, etc. Nothing works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As of today, it has been a &lt;em&gt;week&lt;/em&gt; since the last time he pooped, with the exception of a little bit today and a little bit yesterday (both of which ended up all over the bathroom floor since he won't sit down). The doctor says now we should give him an enema to force it all to come out, but even so, that won't solve anything going forward since he still won't go in his diaper or on the potty in the first place (what are we going to do, give him an enema every week, indefinitely?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue isn't that he's scared of the potty itself, since (a) he was holding it before we started potty training, and (b) he knows exactly what he's supposed to do, since he has no problem with peeing (he sits down himself, points it out afterward, knows that it gets emptied into the big potty, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's that he just &lt;em&gt;won't poop, ever&lt;/em&gt; – not in his diaper, not on the potty – and the only reason why anything comes out at all is because we've been giving him the Miralax every day (and even then, these aren't &quot;full&quot; poops, just whatever happens to come out because it's soft enough that he's unable to hold it all in).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm at a complete loss as to why this even started, and what if anything we can do that would actually help. Is it a behavioral problem? Medical? Both?? Help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE: I just wanted to update this question since a lot has changed since I originally posted it. We discovered there was a specific situation where he &lt;em&gt;would&lt;/em&gt; go in his diaper voluntarily: in our bedroom closet with the door closed. So we knew then that the withholding was intentional, since it was now established that he &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; go if he wanted to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we let him continue going in the closet and, over time, found that he usually went around the same time each day. Based on that, we then had him sit on the potty when we knew it was most likely he would need to go. We also managed to find two things that distracted him enough to sit (blowing bubbles and playing with his toy laptop).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By doing this, we were able to get him to go on the potty without really realizing it (so he didn't try to fight it), and then made a big deal out of it every time he did. Over time, that helped establish that that's what he was supposed to do, and now he does so voluntarily. He hasn't pooped in his diaper in probably 3 weeks by now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't say he's &quot;fully&quot; potty trained, in that an adult still needs to go with him and distract him (and occasionally remind him when he needs to go in general), but &lt;em&gt;finally&lt;/em&gt; we made progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3831" LastEditorUserId="3831" LastEditDate="2013-09-30T18:16:15.020" LastActivityDate="2013-11-11T03:58:36.733" Title="What to do when my 3-year-old holds poop in and won't go in diaper or on potty?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|potty-training|diaper|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8301" CreationDate="2013-06-20T16:43:03.007" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is he able to articulate at all why he's scared to poop?  (Our daughter was afraid of what happened to the poop after it was flushed. Once she groked that she was good to go.)  Finding the reason for his fear will probably go a long way towards you finding a solution for this problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe try the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1433801302&quot;&gt;It Hurts When I Poop&lt;/a&gt;.  Did wonders for my nephew with a similar issue.  And my daughter likes it, although having the poop hurt wasn't her issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-06-20T16:43:03.007" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8264" CreationDate="2013-06-21T14:43:11.333" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breast feeding is an excellent time to have a conversation with your child.  They will be eating, and maybe making eye contact, and there are natural pauses in the &quot;conversation&quot;.  There's a to-and-fro between mother and child.  If breast feeding isn't possible and you're using a bottle you still get this benefit.  I bottle-fed my son and I loved the close bond we built up during his feed time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the beginning you're just letting them know that conversations have two sides, with both people contributing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2013-06-21T14:43:11.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8304" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-21T15:57:44.787" Score="10" ViewCount="5643" Body="&lt;p&gt;A recent &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2013/06/21/the-hand-me-down-chain/&quot;&gt;blog entry&lt;/a&gt; that I read discussing hand-me-downs made me wonder about what it must be like to a younger sibling who receives the bulk of their clothes and/or toys as hand-me-downs, recycled from the older siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the blog points out, just because a child is the oldest doesn't necessarily mean that they won't get clothing or toys passed down to them from older children (cousins and neighbors were mentioned as being good potential sources), but in a family dedicated to saving and passing on lessons of the importance of recycling and reusing, it seems very likely that the youngest children will get far fewer &quot;new&quot; things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The larger the family, the more this would seem to be an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do younger children tend to get frustrated by the idea that the majority of their belongings once belonged to an older sibling?  If so, what can we, as parents, do to mitigate this potential source of frustration and/or resentment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2022-03-15T02:28:03.377" Title="How do you pass hand-me-downs to a younger sibling without fostering resentment?" Tags="|siblings|toys|money|clothes|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8304" CreationDate="2013-06-21T21:46:49.230" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whether it causes resentment or not depends on how much say the child has in the matter.  Kids often borrow their older sibling's clothing on their own.  A lot of handing down happens even without parental intervention, as one child starts to grow out of something, they are more and more willing to lend it to their younger sibling, until it ends up de facto belonging to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's forced on you is when it starts to breed resentment.  One way to mitigate that is to make sure their entire wardrobe isn't secondhand.  You still save significant money if two or three outfits a week are new, and the child has options for when they want to look their best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing a lot of parents do is give their kids a veto.  You give them a big pile of secondhand clothes to sort through and let them keep the ones they want.  That way they feel like they had a choice in the matter.  Usually you have to have a try on session anyway to see if they fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-06-21T21:46:49.230" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8304" CreationDate="2013-06-22T11:28:26.217" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was the middle one of five kids - and I loved getting hand me downs from my elder brother. (Not so much from my elder sister...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my group of friends, my eldest is the eldest of all the kids so he almost never gets hand me downs or cast offs, whereas the others get items from siblings, friends etc - and the good quality clothes might go round 3 or 4 children before they are thrown away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The younger kids definitely like this - they all tend to want the clothes the older ones have, so if anything, &lt;strong&gt;the only one who feels a bit put out is the eldest one&lt;/strong&gt; - and we placate him by letting him choose some of his new clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-06-22T11:28:26.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8304" CreationDate="2013-06-22T13:01:19.150" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our house the adults also had hand me downs. For example, our bed belonged to another family member who was getting a smaller one. The trampoline the kids played on belonged to their cousins first. The dressers in our room are the ones one of us used as a child. In that context, it seems perfectly normal for a child to be using something that someone else, especially a family member, used first. Our attic was full of toys &quot;from your cousins&quot; and those same cousins would often be delighted to come over to play with our kids (there's a LARGE age gap) and rediscover their toys. My kids also saw us box up the cloth diapers to send to a younger cousin - and they heard about it when the same diapers headed to yet another cousin afterwards. We also got &quot;hand me ups&quot; when a younger relative outgrew adult-sized skates that fit one of us. My kids see all of this as normal: &lt;strong&gt;families share&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody expects you to buy a new couch when you have a second child. The new child uses the same couch, dishes, and so on as the first child, and you can have a similar attitude towards clothes and toys easily enough. If you think the second child is being shortchanged by not getting brand new things, it might foster resentment. If you don't, it probably won't. At least until they start school. An older schoolmate might tease your younger one saying &quot;I remember that sweater&quot; kind of thing. If you're worried about that, don't hand-me-down memorable clothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-07-25T13:40:54.687" LastActivityDate="2013-07-25T13:40:54.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8308" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8310" CreationDate="2013-06-22T14:46:38.067" Score="4" ViewCount="1724" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid is 4 days old.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I have noticed that tight swaddling &lt;em&gt;DOES&lt;/em&gt; work in calming the kid down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish to understand the reasons. Why does tight swaddling calm babies?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Answers with credible references will be appreciated.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2024-01-06T13:51:41.647" Title="Why does tight swaddling calm babies?" Tags="|newborn|swaddling|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8308" CreationDate="2013-06-22T15:07:32.570" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Modern swaddling is becoming increasingly popular today as a means of settling and soothing irritable infants and helping babies sleep longer with fewer awakenings. Since the early 1990s the medical community has recommended placing babies on their back to sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS. As studies proved swaddled babies sleep better in the back sleeping position, swaddling has become increasingly popular and recommended so parents avoid the dangerous stomach sleeping position. Swaddling also prevents newborns waking themselves with their moro reflex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swaddling&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swaddling&lt;/a&gt; -- &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plenty of credible references can be found at the bottom of the wikipedia page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-06-22T19:12:13.073" LastActivityDate="2013-06-22T19:12:13.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8308" CreationDate="2013-06-22T17:23:40.777" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dr. Harvey Karp, a peditrician, is one of the major proponents of swaddling today as exemplified in his &quot;Happiest Baby on the Block&quot; materials. You can read his reasoning &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_harvey-karps-happiest-baby-method-for-baby-sleep-and-soothin_10373838.bc#articlesection2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;BabyCenter&lt;/a&gt;. In terms of calming while awake, the thought is that swaddling helps to mimic the comfortable closed-in feeling of the womb. Karp has written extensively on swaddling and is considered a swaddling expert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for helping with sleep, as Dave Clarke &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8309/2146&quot;&gt;mentioned&lt;/a&gt;, swaddling helps to contain the Moro reflex. The Moro reflex is a reaction to a falling sensation babies have when actually falling or placed on their backs. Babies will instinctively draw up their knees and flail their arms. Also newborns do not have good limb control and their limbs flail somewhat randomly for the first several weeks of life contributing to a wake-up. During the era of stomach-sleeping this flailing was controlled by the mattress, but since back-sleeping has been correlated with a decrease in the SIDS rate swaddling has been shown to help provide some - but many would anecdotally argue not all - of the same benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-06-22T19:12:57.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8308" CreationDate="2013-06-22T18:46:58.997" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Newborns do not move their arms and legs deliberately as we do, and do not always know they are doing that. A reflex or a reaction to a sound may result in a big leg kick or arm wave, and this can wake a sleeping baby or upset an awake one, much as you might be upset if you were lying in bed and someone else grabbed your leg, threw it up in the air, and then dropped it down on the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a baby is swaddled the twitchy jerky muscle firings may still happen, but the arms and legs don't wave around because the swaddling prevents it. This means the baby does not react with an angry &quot;what just happened?&quot; reaction and stays asleep or stays calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they get older they learn how to move their limbs themselves and can be annoyed if that's prevented. Swaddling is a short term strategy - and a very good one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-06-22T18:46:58.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8301" CreationDate="2013-06-23T16:18:33.403" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are dealing with two issues here: &lt;em&gt;stool toileting refusal&lt;/em&gt; and the associated &lt;em&gt;constipation&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Constipation:&lt;/strong&gt;  Your doctor is probably recommending an enema because an impaction is preventing defecation at this point. I have an acquaintance who has had success in this same situation using a commercial suppository that is administered by eyedropper – you could ask your doctor about it – it may be easier to administer than enema. The impacted feces may smell very bad, and it is important not to react negatively to it (see below). Continue working with your doctor regarding Miralax usage. Some children stay on it for years; your decisions regarding this should be guided by medical practitioners. In addition to Miralax, increase the fiber in your son’s diet (fruits, fruit juices, vegetables, bran and other whole grains), reduce milk products, and increase his water intake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stool toileting refusal:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;This is a behavioral/psychological issue – about 1 in 5 children go through periods of stool toileting refusal. There are varying theories about the cause, and it may be that there are varying causes (all theories being possibilities). It may be caused by constipation (painful defecation means refusing to defecate), associated with the arrival of a younger sibling (a regressive behavior), triggered by parental or societal negative views toward feces (using negative words like “stinky” to refer to it), or precipitated by being pushed before being ready due to the escalating demands of modern life (like the need to be ready for preschool). It is hard to know exactly what your child’s thinking is, but in his mind he may believe that in holding it in he may be able to stop it forever. At this stage of cognitive development, your son will not be able to understand that stool that is withheld will accumulate, so trying to explain it will not help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because this behavior began while still in diapers, it suggests that he has developed negative feelings about it.  He may have become aware of negative connotations toward feces through societal or parental verbal or nonverbal signals, resulting in shame and embarrassment when he defecates. In a study where parents were taught to praise defecation and avoid using negative terms for feces, the period of stool toileting refusal was shortened (Taubman, Blum, and Nemeth). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I reviewed a number of articles, the most relevant of which are cited below. Suggestions culled from them which might be of help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First, clear out any impaction of feces.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid any negative communication (verbal or nonverbal) with regard to&#xA;defecation to reduce any feelings of shame.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give a diet rich in fiber and plenty of water.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give Miralax.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do twice daily toilet sitting (after meals, knees higher than hips, feet supported). There is no pressure or discussion of defecation during this time. It’s just 10-15 minutes of sitting and perhaps reading together. Praise should be given (“You sat on the toilet for 10 minutes! That’s an important job for a boy who is three.”) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make poop his responsibility (“Everyone’s body makes poop and we have to let it out once a day – your body makes poop and it’s your job to let it out once a day”). This job includes eating right, drinking water, taking Miralax, sitting on the toilet twice a day, doing the first rinse of soiled underwear or disposing of soiled pullups, and personal hygiene following defecation. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise all efforts using behavior acknowledgement rather than&#xA;personal judgment. (“You remembered to sit on the toilet after lunch&#xA;without me reminding you! You took care of your really important job”&#xA;rather than “You are such a good boy for sitting on the toilet. I am&#xA;so proud of you.”)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your first goal is for him to allow defecation to happen. Defecation&#xA;in the toilet will come second.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help him find success in other areas of his life. As he takes on&#xA;other unrelated responsibilities and finds success, he will feel more&#xA;confident about taking on this job as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let go of any timelines you have for getting this done. The fact that you have a September goal may cause you to unintentionally add stress to an already stressful situation. Mastery will happen when your child is ready. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to reduce the stress around the situation in general. Talk about&#xA;it less. When you talk about it, limit your words to as few as&#xA;possible and try not to be repetitive in any single conversation –&#xA;your child will hear you the first time you say something, so to say&#xA;it a second time in the same conversation gives it too much&#xA;importance. Try to use the same words, though, from day to day. (“When we poop&#xA;in our pullups, we have to clean ourselves up. What’s the first&#xA;step?”...&quot;When we don't poop for three days, we have to soften the poop with the eyedropper medicine.&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not punish for an accident – treat it neutrally – it is the child’s&#xA;responsibility to fix – praise efforts at fixing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about your own defecation. (&quot;Oh, I think I need to poop&quot; and putting a mark on your calendar after you have pooped, or &quot;When I was 3 it was hard to learn how to poop in the toilet, but now I poop in the toilet every day. You will too when you are ready.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck! This is a tricky problem, but many have walked this path before you with success!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Citations:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Linda Thomson – &lt;a href=&quot;https://cx-services.com/htx12/projects/ish2012//download/catalogitems/l55a/handout_l55a.pdf&quot;&gt;To Poop or Not to Poop&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stadtler, A. C., Gorski, P. A., &amp;amp; Brazelton, T. (1999). Toilet Training Methods, Clinical Interventions, and Recommendations. Pediatrics, 103(6), 1359. (article available through your public library)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taubman, B. (1997). Toilet Training and Toileting Refusal for Stool Only: A Prospective Study. Pediatrics, 99(1). 54-58. (article available through your public library)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taubman B, Blum NJ, Nemeth N. (2003). Stool Toileting Refusal: A Prospective Intervention Targeting Parental Behavior. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 157(12). 1193-1196. (article available through your public library)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beth Choby and George Shefaa – &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/1101/p1059.html&quot;&gt;Toilet Training&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barton Schmitt, MD – &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm&quot;&gt;Toilet Training Problems: Underachievers, refusers, and stool holders&lt;/a&gt;    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. R.W. DuCharme – &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thelearningclinic.org/PDF/TGW_RWD.pdf&quot;&gt;Toileting Gone Wrong – Made Right&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;John Rosemond – &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theledger.com/article/20080123/NEWS/801230368&quot;&gt;Give Stool Refusal a Dose of Sternness&lt;/a&gt; - Not an approach I would personally try, but you know your child best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/1999/01/12/us/two-experts-do-battle-over-potty-training.html?pagewanted=all&amp;amp;src=pm&quot;&gt;Two Experts Do Battle Over Potty Training&lt;/a&gt; - Article comparing the Rosemond approach with T. Berry Brazelton’s Child-Oriented Approach&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-23T16:18:33.403" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8313" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8318" CreationDate="2013-06-23T17:03:12.447" Score="2" ViewCount="3870" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a father of a 10 month old son. I love to observe my son acquiring and developing new skills like crawling, responding to questions, and imitating other's behavior. Moreover, I was flabbergasted when I witnessed my son operating our TV remote.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a recent development, I observed a new skill in him yesterday. He crawls on carpet freely with out any problem, he enjoys it. Yesterday, we (my wife and I) wanted to see how he would respond to crawling in grass. We left him in the middle of a small grass field. I think he felt the grass poking his palm and knees and then ,to our surprise, we saw him for the first time standing himself straight up without any support and stood up for at least 20 seconds and then carefully came down to a sitting position, maintaining the balance. Our jaw dropped with that sight. I could not believe that my son stood up without our or any thing's support. With that event, I totally forgot to capture the sight in my phone. I waited for 15 more minutes after that with my phone camera on to try capture the same sight again, but all in vain. He did not like the grass to crawl on, in the first attempt I guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my questions are:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How and when do infants &amp;amp; toddlers create or develop the &quot;survival instinct&quot;? By survival instinct I mean my son wanted to avoid the grass and instantly he got the instinct or a reflex to stand up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is this behavior part of the genetics of Homo Sapiens?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I am curious to know what else kids/infants/toddlers learn from instinct which was never taught to them?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4459" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2013-06-24T15:06:24.500" LastActivityDate="2013-06-26T19:37:47.407" Title="When do infants and/or toddlers develop survival instincts?" Tags="|toddler|infant|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4526" CreationDate="2013-06-23T17:22:24.160" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was about 12 months old and still rubbed his eyes, he rub them so  much he would get blisters.  When I put his down for naps I had started lay with him and hold him in a hug  till he was in a deep sleep. I think that stopped the habit of him rubbing him eyes before he fell a sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4460" LastActivityDate="2013-06-23T17:22:24.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8313" CreationDate="2013-06-23T17:36:46.497" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;That specific example is not a survival instinct. It is a learned skill - humans don't like discomfort, so will try to avoid it. Babies want to stand up - this is a part of normal development. Having extra impetus to try harder can help them manage it in a particular situation. For some it may be a surface they don't like, for others frustration at not being able to reach something etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies actually have survival instincts from the very start. For example, if you drop a baby in water it will hold its breath until its face is out of the water. Or if you let them fall backwards, they throw their arms outwards to try and break their fall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole point about an instinct is that it does not develop - it is there from the start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning survival skills is a whole separate thing...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-06-23T17:36:46.497" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8316" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-23T21:54:15.550" Score="10" ViewCount="1744" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 7 years old and she has a few very extreme behaviors. She destroys just about everything she owns as well as going after my things. She is hoarding, not only toys and such but garbage she takes from the garbage can and wrappers from food she eats. She is also stealing and hoarding food from my cupboards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has an obsession with food. She will ask me what we are eating for lunch and dinner as I am giving her breakfast. She talks about and asks for food constantly. One night she asked me if she could go to bed early so she could get breakfast sooner. If it were up to her she would always have food in her hands. She has on a few occasions ate frozen pizza and waffles while they were still frozen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had to invest in an industrial lock for my pantry because she broke the cheap one and I had to buy and chain and combination lock to wrap around my fridge. If a lock has a key she always finds it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is very intelligent but refuses to participate in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has been in therapy for almost 3 years now and I have seen no long term change. Things seem to get better and then get worse than they were when we started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried taking everything she owns away and told her she had to earn it back by showing me she could take care of things. Her response was to threaten me. Her exact words were &quot;Fine, if I can't have my stuff I'll just break all of your stuff.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There has never been a lack of discipline in my house but she does have a lot of freedoms. If I take them away she sneaks out her bedroom window. She has done thousands of dollars in damages to my house and I rent, I can't move because I can't afford to repair the place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is acting like a rebellious 16 year old and she is only 7. I am at the end of my rope, I have tried every form of discipline I have been able to find. I have demanded for a higher level of care in therapy 4 different times and nothing is getting better. I am desperate for some help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4461" LastEditorUserId="1693" LastEditDate="2013-06-27T20:36:00.773" LastActivityDate="2013-12-02T15:29:48.977" Title="How do I stop my daughters severe destructive as well as hoarding behaviors?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8316" CreationDate="2013-06-24T04:03:34.410" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As your daughter has only been with her new psychologist a short time, and she has been officially recognized as having a serious (level 4) condition, you might give the new relationship a chance to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An additional resource in your area is the University of Michigan's Mott Hospital. It is a teaching and research hospital with a pediatric behavioral and mental health department. It is in Ann Arbor, about 65 miles south of your city. Click on this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psych.med.umich.edu/patient-care/ambulatory-psychiatry/what-you-should-know-when-you-call/&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; to see information about how to call for an appointment. They may be able to help you figure out whether your insurance will work there and whether moving your daughter to their care is advisable. They also have fairly thorough evaluation services that might assist her current doctor with her treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this is helpful. Best wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-24T04:03:34.410" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8313" CreationDate="2013-06-24T06:17:48.163" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Overview&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this could have been in an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thefreedictionary.com/instinct&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;instinct&lt;/a&gt; as a very loose definition of the term, it definitely wasn't a survival instinct. A survival instinct usually kicks in when an organism requires one of the several physiological needs we find in &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs#Physiological_needs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Maslow's hierarchy of needs&lt;/a&gt;. Often this is in fight or flight situations rather than situations of discomfort. Discomfort is more of a personal preference. Personally, I like laying in grass while your son doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was most likely a logical conclusion from a basic scientific method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This feels bad&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I stop this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I've seen dad do that motion before.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That will get my hands and knees off this itchy substance (hypothesis).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let's try that (stands up, experiment)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It worked, but now my legs are shaky.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I sit down only my covered bum will touch this annoying substance. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(Sits down)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;To answer your questions&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instincts are ingrained from the very start. That's why babies cry for everything. At  that moment, that's pretty much the only thing they can do to meet any one of their basic needs. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instincts are part of every organism's behavior, from protozoa to elephants. Standing is a human quality however, and that, along with opposable thumbs distinguishes us from the rest of nature.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Crying, breathing, the desire for shelter. Take a look at examples of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feral_child&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;feral children&lt;/a&gt;. Whatever skills they have are the bare minimum for life. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2013-06-24T06:17:48.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8319" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8321" CreationDate="2013-06-24T11:11:59.077" Score="3" ViewCount="16391" Body="&lt;p&gt;My &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;7&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;day&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; old baby raises her head up and holds it there for about 2 seconds when I try to burp her by placing my hand on her chest and neck, bending her on -45 degree angle and then patting her back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be concerned?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T11:25:02.433" Title="Should a 7 day old be prevented from raising her head on her own?" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8319" CreationDate="2013-06-24T11:47:12.537" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't suggest bending your baby is a good idea. Generally letting them bend over your hand or shoulder should be enough to allow for successful burping. Example picture below:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/0KlmN.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she raises her head, that is perfectly normal. Babies exercise their neck muscles this way. At this stage they will only be able to hold it for one or two seconds, but as they develop they will be able to hold their head up for minutes at a time. THis is an essential step before crawling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-06-24T19:14:59.667" LastActivityDate="2013-06-24T19:14:59.667" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2013-06-24T19:30:52.570" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would have to agree that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mathblaster.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Math Blaster&lt;/a&gt; is a quality online math games for kids. I let my kids play and I've notice some improvements in their basic arithmetic skills. Khans academy is good also but more for older kids or teens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4467" LastActivityDate="2013-06-24T19:30:52.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2013-06-25T10:46:43.360" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a couple that haven't been mentioned here that have been fun and useful for our son:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/13103/triolet&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Triolet&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/11051/number-quest&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Nubble&lt;/a&gt; (previously called NumberQuest)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, a perusal of the Math and Number categories at BoardGameGeek would be a good start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-06-25T10:46:43.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2013-06-26T08:37:51.410" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had this problem for long long time, and it only became worse in each passing day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Week ago we started combination of two suggestions we got from friends and it appears to be working so going to share here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put water in small plastic glass, either from the tap or directly from the bath and tell the child you are going to use the water to clean his/her head.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Slowly spill the water on the child's head. As it's not a stream of water and is done with a glass the child knows from before and maybe even love using to drink from, the child would probably not protest.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In case water reach the child's face, ears or eyes and he/she is about to cry use small towel to instantly dry the water and tell him/her that you &quot;fixed&quot; it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Repeat steps #2 and #3 as long as needed, both before and after using shampoo.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The combination of glass and towel appears to be working fine, although it cause the time spent in bath to increase dramatically, think it's worth that time and the effort. Head gets cleaned, and much less tears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;: for couple of months now, we are using something called Waterproof Eye Shield Cap Hat Shield and I can wash her head without a squeak as no water leaks through to  her face. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those interested, this is how it looks like: (not my kid, just a cute pic I found :))&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3vwnw.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2014-10-12T07:10:43.220" LastActivityDate="2014-10-12T07:10:43.220" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="643" CreationDate="2013-06-26T17:13:47.030" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're doing great, but just know this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be gay, but based on what you describe, it's more likely (&lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; this behaviour continues well into his school years) he's transsexual. While some gay men have a tendency towards being effeminate, there's a difference between being effeminate and completely acting as if they're the opposite sex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider yourself lucky that you're finding out now and not when he's 40, because gender reassignment is considerably easier before or at puberty than after, and trans people who are accepted and transition earlier are typically far less psychologically damaged than those who repress their feelings until they explode in the middle of a marriage with kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really though, 3 years old isn't really the time to define this. At 6 or 8 or 10, it is. If your boy decides that he wants to go to Kindergarten dressed like a girl, then you can be reasonably certain that this is where his future is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2013-06-26T17:13:47.030" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8327" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8330" CreationDate="2013-06-26T17:35:42.427" Score="4" ViewCount="159" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-week old child, my husband and I are taking a flight from East-cost to West-cost.  Is there a taxi or other transportation company that will provide a car seat on a short notice?  And also would you recommend that vs. bringing your own car seat?  If the latter, any recommendations for light-weight car-seat that are suitable for such trips?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4482" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:56:27.013" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:56:27.013" Title="Is there an infant-equipped transportation service with car seat to and fro airports?" Tags="|infant|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8319" CreationDate="2013-06-26T17:59:34.463" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let this be a lesson for the rest of your parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know when your child is ready and/or strong enough for something when &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; know they're ready for it, and are trying to do it. Don't try to prevent it from happening, even if you think they're not ready for it (unless it's life-threatening, and this isn't). You can encourage them to do more or better, but keep in mind that much of the time that won't work either. But never hold them back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples of this: When my oldest son was 3, he &quot;wasn't old enough&quot; to play in the McDonald's playspace. Once he &lt;em&gt;was&lt;/em&gt; old enough, it was impossible for us to convince him otherwise. It was at least a year before he would even dare. Our second child, by contrast, was climbing not only on that playground, but every other playground he wanted to by the time he was about 48 months old. The &quot;recommended age&quot; boilerplate is just that - a recommendation, and one you can ignore if you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our youngest was about 6 months old, no matter what we said, his older brother started wrestling with him. The younger one didn't care or even mind. He believed that this was how you play. He's now stronger and more coordinated as a result, we think (or maybe that's just due to how clumsy our oldest is in comparison). He's certainly more willing to play rough with the older kids though, and that's in his favour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="907" LastActivityDate="2013-06-26T17:59:34.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8313" CreationDate="2013-06-26T19:31:56.183" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a baby, the biggest &quot;survival instinct&quot; your child will actively develop after birth is the fear of falling. You've probably been dealing with your child wanting to roll over, sit up etc in the changing table. For the first few months that your child does this, you pretty much have to be in constant contact with your child, and definitely not beyond arm's length, when your child is virtually any distance above the ground without a secure railing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is for two reasons; first, your baby hasn't mastered the gross motor control needed to steady himself in these positions, and more importantly, he's outgrown some reflexes like the Moro reflex, and has not yet developed the conscious knowledge that falling hurts to replace it. That normally happens somewhere between 6 and 9 months, in parallel but slightly delayed from the motor skills that allow potentially harmful movements. So, your son should already have an aversion to going down steps or over ledges or dropoffs (even if he, like my own daughter, thinks crawling over Daddy's legs or similar obstacles is the most fun ever), and that's a survival instinct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another one comes in around the nine-month mark, and that's &quot;stranger danger&quot;. My daughter, for instance, has no trouble smiling and waving to strangers while in her stroller with us pushing it. She doesn't take long to start crawling around in someone else's house to introduce herself to other people. However, she knows who Mommy, Daddy, Nana and Poppy (my wife's parents who live nearby and visit regularly) are, and even my own Mom and Dad (who live further away and visit less frequently) cannot just walk in, say &quot;Hi&quot; and pick her up off the floor. She needs time to adjust before she'll accept being in their arms instead of ours. This persists as babies learn to walk, even becoming more pronounced with children sticking very close to their parent when anyone else is nearby, and is more instinctual than learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2013-06-26T19:37:47.407" LastActivityDate="2013-06-26T19:37:47.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8327" CreationDate="2013-06-27T01:07:50.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many cab companies offer this service, but remember you will need them in both cities, at both ends of your trip. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some family friendly cab companies are listed at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.familiesgotravel.com/planning/taxi-cab-companies/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Families Go!&lt;/a&gt;. If the cities you are traveling to/from are not listed, you will want to Google what cab companies are available in those cities, and inquire directly with them. Many cities exempt taxis from car seat law, but that may not be an option you are willing to consider (I wouldn't). It means, though, that a lot of cab companies won't bother with the inconvenience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also companies like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.travelingbaby.com/?gclid=CJXNxaKCg7gCFS3l7Aod104A5A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Traveling Baby Company&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://babysaway.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby's Away&lt;/a&gt; that will deliver a carseat to the airport for you. They also supply travel cribs and other baby equipment. You can find alternatives to them by googling &quot;car seat rental.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have personally lugged a carseat on trips (pre-9/11), and it was a bit exhausting, but doable. I had a canvas duffel bag made to contain the carseat and protect it on the journey. You will obviously be charged for it, and there is a risk that it will be damaged and rendered useless in the luggage hold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you purchase a seat on the airplane for your child (usually a fraction of the price for children under 2), the airline may allow you to bring your car seat on board - you would need to consult the airline to confirm this. Some airlines do not allow rear-facing car seats, so be sure to ask that question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you decide to get a rental car instead of taxi, many rental car companies also rent car seats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-27T01:07:50.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8331" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8333" CreationDate="2013-06-27T02:36:31.743" Score="6" ViewCount="4222" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is 9 day old.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I am seeing some whitish sticky substance &lt;em&gt;surrounding&lt;/em&gt; her clitoris for past some days.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Do I need to clean it? If yes, how?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2013-06-27T08:52:23.117" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T03:37:08.223" Title="How to clean the vagina of a newborn?" Tags="|newborn|health|hygiene|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8332" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8337" CreationDate="2013-06-27T03:51:30.780" Score="10" ViewCount="754" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the times I restrict my 10 month old on doing things which I feel would have a negative impact on him. For example, I say NO in a louder tone when he makes a desperate attempt to put his hand to loose cables in home, when he tries to hold shoes or when he tries to pull window blinds but then he stops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same practice is adopted by my spouse. But sometimes we act good-dad-bad-mom, good-mom-bad-dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is whether this is a good practice of restricting infants/toddlers? We feel that we are imposing authority on our son on almost everything which in future would affect him adversely. He would develop the same fear for everything. He would also fear that someone would say NO on whatever he is attempting to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4459" LastActivityDate="2013-08-12T13:55:19.513" Title="Restricting infant on almost every move" Tags="|toddler|infant|parents|psychology|habits|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8331" CreationDate="2013-06-27T04:21:01.467" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is probably just &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528704/&quot;&gt;vernix&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Vernix is a greasy white substance that coats and protects baby’s skin&#xA;  in the mother’s uterus. Some babies are born with lots of vernix still&#xA;  on their skin. It is harmless and can be washed or wiped off. Losing&#xA;  vernix may cause the skin to peel during the first week of life. This&#xA;  is normal and will go away on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can wash with baby wipes, just warm water, or warm water with a very mild soap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your question you referred to her vagina, which is internal and should not be cleaned. You should only clean external organs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: National Institute of Health: &lt;em&gt;Paediatrics &amp;amp; Child Health&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-27T04:21:01.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3023" CreationDate="2013-06-27T04:32:41.440" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A tantrum is a child having a BIG emotion in their head and them trying to deal with it. and yes it is normal and yes sometimes there could be an underlying problem. If you feel you need help call government helplines. Talk to someone. Do some exceptional parental courses. if you feel it isn't normal, see your gp. See your gp anyway! Talking and actively seeking help will help everyone involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4483" LastActivityDate="2013-06-27T04:32:41.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8332" CreationDate="2013-06-27T04:36:19.810" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 10-month-old is limited in his understanding of &quot;no&quot; and I would tend to agree with you that hearing it used loudly is probably negative and hearing it often is probably confusing. You might try a softer approach - when he reaches for something he should not, say No in a gentle but firm voice, and pick him up and move him to a more appropriate spot or hand him a more appropriate play thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, you should be talking to him a lot in preparation for language development, so you can adopt a practice of saying something like, &quot;No. We don't play with cables. Let's play with the red car.&quot; In our family, we used a slightly louder &quot;No&quot; for things that were truly dangerous, but we finished the thought just the same:&quot;NO, we don't touch the stove. Here's a spoon for you to play with.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-06-27T04:36:19.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8336" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8342" CreationDate="2013-06-27T07:08:56.213" Score="6" ViewCount="8295" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a nephew who is taught both English and Kartuli in school, and speaks both well. He also speaks pretty good Russian, but has no formal education and does not speak much to his family in the language. This doesn't mean that he doesn't speak it at all at home, or that it goes unheard...but it is not a primary language spoken in the house or between friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He learns the language because the cartoon programming on TV in his country is not translated to his native language, and instead is broadcast in Russian. From my understanding, this is his only source of the language besides a few interactions with strangers who might speak Russian. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have heard many times on here and elsewhere that children wont learn a new language based on audio and video alone, that they need physical interaction from other speakers of the language to really learn it. This is where I am somewhat confused. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we will be teaching my son English and Kartuli, I would love to have him speak Spanish as well. I know there is plenty of Spanish programming available in the US, just as Russian is in Eastern Europe. Also, I assume that he will encounter quite a bit of residual Spanish outside of the household due to a large Spanish speaking population in the US -- Similar to how his cousin's household doesn't speak Russian, but there are many Russian speaking people in his country. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I am wondering if there would be any actual benefit of allowing my son to watch Spanish language programming once he reaches an appropriate age. Would there be any consequences of mandating that the programming be Spanish only? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try to speak the language with him, and better my vocabulary. As it stands, both my wife and I do speak basic conversational Spanish, but I do not see it being spoken at home due to us focusing on the other languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found some very interesting answers on this site, and links to great references. I am hoping someone can shed some light on this theory for me, so I can reconsider before I do any damage ;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4290" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T03:12:32.463" Title="Cartoons in a language that neither parent speaks?" Tags="|infant|language-development|television|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8332" CreationDate="2013-06-27T13:51:14.507" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 10 months some children begin to understand the word no, but many child development theorists, parenting coaches, and other &quot;experts&quot; in the field of caring for and raising children recommend limiting it's use. Here is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.regardingbaby.org/2011/11/05/what-to-say-instead-of-no-six-ways-to-gain-your-childs-co-operation/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;one&lt;/a&gt; perspective on not saying no which suggests common techniques to use instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A major tactic to use is rephrasing. For example instead of &quot;No throwing food,&quot; try &quot;Food stays on the tray or goes in your mouth.&quot; Instead of &quot;Don't hit,&quot; say &quot;gentle touch,&quot; while helping your child touch his or her own face gently for illustration. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Another common thing to do is teach a few alternate words instead of a forceful &quot;NO!&quot; Many families use &quot;danger&quot; and &quot;hot!&quot; for things like the stove or oven.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Another useful tactic if your child persists in attempting something that is against the rules is to focus on your role in preventing it. For example you could gently take your child away from the window blinds while saying, &quot;Danger! Mommy/Daddy can't let you touch those blinds. The cord could hurt you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A very big thing to do, as well, is to try and minimize dangerous items via childproofing. Keep blind cords out of the way via a cord shortener or by tying a knot where only adults can reach. Keep children out of the kitchen when the oven is on. Keep pot handles turned to the back. There are a lot more suggestions in this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/childproofing-checklist-before-toddler-and-beyond&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;toddler child-proofing list&lt;/a&gt; and you can find many more via a web search. If you keep your blind cords out of the way, put loose wires behind furniture, and so on you give your child more room to explore with fewer nos.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, &lt;em&gt;boundaries&lt;/em&gt; are hugely important for toddlers. They crave them. They need to know what they rules are and that their parents can calmly, clearly, and consistently enforce them. Dr. Frans Plooj, author of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewonderweeks.com&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Wonder Weeks&lt;/a&gt; describes this need well in his summary of toddler development around 17 months &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-10/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When he has entered the world of principles, he yearns for rules. He is looking for chances to familiarize himself with them. Just like your kid deserves food everyday, he deserves rules too. Most rules he can only discover when given by you. Social rules in particular are important. You have to show him what is correct and what is incorrect behavior. There is no harm in laying down the law. On the contrary, you owe it to him, and who better to do so than someone who loves him?...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So, now is a good time to make sure he learns good behavior, for what he learns at this age “sticks” and is hard to change later on in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;During this period a start is made with developing a conscience which is a system of norms and values. If the groundrules are not set now, and in the right way, negative consequences will be visible in the near future, to begin with the ‘Terrible Two’s.” As difficult or even impractical as it may seem to give this rule-setting and conscience-building so much of your time and effort at this early and changeable stage of your child’s life, it is an in-depth investment for the future. It will save you, your child and everyone around him a lot of misery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You can’t spoil babies, but you can toddlers! By understanding what is happening inside that little head of your newly formed toddler – and remember, they are pretty savvy – you can shape the future behavior of your toddler and set values and norms that will carry him through life&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember that when enforcing boundaries calmness is huge. My toddler has taken to hitting, biting, and kicking for fun. She is too young to do it because it hurts. I tend to give her a consequence (holding her hands or legs) with a little bit of flair to it. Because I am containing the pain of having just been bitten or the frustration of having just been hit for the up-teenth time that day I'll be a little loud. I say, &quot;Since you chose to hit Mommy, Mommy will hold your hands until you can make good choices on how to use them.&quot;  However my dramatic manner causes my toddler to laugh and do whatever &lt;em&gt;else&lt;/em&gt; she can think of that's against the rules to get a good reaction. My husband gets close to her head and &lt;em&gt;whispers&lt;/em&gt; his explanation in a totally unruffled voice. &quot;You know you aren't supposed to pull Daddy's leg hairs. I can't let you do that.&quot; In response to his complete calm my toddler herself calms down and immediately obeys. She's learned that hitting Daddy is not funny because there's no big reaction. You can see more about the importance of how you reinforce boundaries in point number 3 of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/01/5-reasons-toddlers-wont-follow-our-directions/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this blog post&lt;/a&gt; from parenting coach Janet Landsbury. As she says,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The manner in which we give directions will determine whether or not our children follow them.  Some parents need help perfecting their confident, matter-of-fact delivery, remembering to put a period (rather than a question like 'okay?') at the end of their sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2013-08-08T14:59:48.993" LastActivityDate="2013-08-08T14:59:48.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8117" CreationDate="2013-06-27T16:18:14.427" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is almost 17 months old, and he is at the same stage. As others are saying this is something that, at least in my experience, just has to be learned with time and gentle encouragement. My son has gotten a lot better about throwing his cup when he's done drinking. Now he tries putting it down on the table or on his tray or in a cup holder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4481" LastActivityDate="2013-06-27T16:18:14.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8339" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8343" CreationDate="2013-06-28T09:55:28.530" Score="13" ViewCount="10411" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to breast feed my 9 day old for 1 hour. That is frustrating for me, and doesn't satisfy her too. Then I have to feed her about 60 ml formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would I know whether I am producing sufficient breast milk or not? Or the problem is somewhere else?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8339/how-to-know-whether-i-am-producing-sufficient-breast-milk?noredirect=1#comment15874_8339&quot;&gt;How to know whether I am producing sufficient breast milk?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You mean &quot;for 1 hour&quot; in a row or during the day? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1 hour in a row. That's the reason of frustration!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And 60ml formula, at once or during the day? just to make sure  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;60ml formula at once. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In morning (6:00 AM) I feed her breast milk (around 25 minutes), then she sleeps for about 2 hours in a row. Then I feed her 60ml formula (at once) and she sleeps for 4 hours in a row (unless she's wet). Then again I feed her breast milk (1 hour in a row) and try to make her sleep. At this time I often have to give her formula because she keeps on making sucking signs with her lips after I take my breasts out of her mouth and remains active even when I swaddle her when I put her to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-07-01T01:56:30.857" Title="How to know whether I am producing sufficient breast milk?" Tags="|infant|newborn|formula|milk|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8339" CreationDate="2013-06-28T15:45:17.773" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thanks for the clarifications...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, first of all, a newborn, at this age, should be getting more or less 60ml each time, on average. Some babies will take more, some less, it'll depend a lot on her weight when she was born, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Producing milk is something not so consistent among mothers. My wife just produce enough milk after 5 days, some of my friends could not produce enought ever (and had &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; big babies).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to observe is if the child is developing correctly, and eating enough. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a617/how-can-i-tell-if-my-newborn-is-getting-enough-milk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; have some clues about it, the most relevant (I think) is how wet the nappies: does she produces about 8 wet nappies each day? Some heavier, some lighter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another think to consider is your alimentation: are you drinking enought water, teas? Liquids are important to produce milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And another point: don't expect to produce milk so easily, let's say. Human body is a strange thing, and in general you'll produce more milk as the baby drinks more, and even a crying baby is kind of stimulating to milk prodution (at least our doctor said). Also take care of your nipples, they'll become more sensitive, can even bleedy, as the baby learns to suck harder and grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, making the same movement with the mouth, even when not being feed, is normal, since it's one of the few movements she knows how to do (and keep practicing). And while being feed, she'll be tired too, so some times she'll take longer (and slower) to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she is hungry, she'll cry...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-06-28T20:13:53.040" LastActivityDate="2013-06-28T20:13:53.040" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8336" CreationDate="2013-06-28T16:54:58.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as toddler language acquisition is concerned, the more exposure a toddler gets to a language, the better he/she learns it. The correlation is direct and very obvious in young kids (say 1-5 years old). Exposure takes many forms: videos, songs, books, conversations with real people. So if you could read Spanish bedtime books along with showing the videos, that would be very beneficial. I have found songs to be incredibly powerful, as the child can learn the song, and &quot;accidentally&quot; learning the language in the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's lots of resources (search multilingual children, for example) saying that far from confusing children, exposing children to many languages gives them stronger verbal abilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be careful about &quot;forcing&quot; the use of a particular language. The child may resist it. Rather, an &quot;enticing&quot; approach is much more effective. Make it fun! Kids love cartoons, and they will be drawn to watching it, without even knowing it's in an unfamiliar language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4487" LastActivityDate="2013-06-28T16:54:58.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8336" CreationDate="2013-06-28T19:32:49.937" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have met Icelander who said they learned a lot of their English from TV &amp;amp; sometimes you can tell which shows they watch (American vs British) by their accent. But they are in a country with widespread bilingualism, English has prestige (and more importantly isn't Danish) &amp;amp; is cool among young people, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My reading &quot;Screen Time&quot; was very informative to me about this question for both 1st language and 2nd language interactions for young TV viewers. Ref &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001KOTUE2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/B001KOTUE2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book says from the youngest to oldest kids, the material they watch has to be dead on at the appropriate age level--not a sex and violence issue, but a level of language complexity issue. Many US cartoons that we might think are just for kids are written by adults and are linguistically complex enough that only adults are going to understand it (Veggie Tales fell in this category).  Only two shows happen to have research backing up the idea that kids actually understand the material-- Sesame Street &amp;amp; Dora the Explorer.  I watch Dora the Explorer (Russian) with my son from time to time &amp;amp; am working on getting my mother in Law to track down Dora in Tagalog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What the research says about harm is that if the kid doesn't understand the material (it is age inappropriate, or for 2nd language learning, it is skill level inappropriate) then the TV watching steals from other more important activities, like playing. But if the TV is age &amp;amp; skill level appropriate, then it probably helps or doesn't hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I believe that without a connection to the pop culture of a given language, it is much harder for someone to develop the emotional link to a language to encourage them to use it and invest the time to find opportunities to use it, especially outside of where that language is normally spoken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you are outlining a complicated language environment, so I might be misunderstanding parts of it, but learning a language solely from TV turns out to be really hard-- there is a case of deaf parents have tried to teach their child English just by letting him watch TV-- it didn't work. He didn't progress until he had a chance to interact with people, instead of just watching them. So I would say that TV watching is a supplemental activity and not a sufficient one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-06-28T19:32:49.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8339" CreationDate="2013-06-28T20:08:24.843" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your body will (except in very rare cases) produce as much milk as your baby needs. There are several ways of &lt;strong&gt;messing with this supply and demand system&lt;/strong&gt;, though, and &lt;strong&gt;one of them is by supplementing with formula&lt;/strong&gt;. You see, once feeding has been established, your breast will produce as much milk as you empty out of it(empty is not really the right word here, as a milk-producing breast can never be truly empty of milk as production is continuous). This means that &lt;strong&gt;the more milk you take out, the more you'll produce&lt;/strong&gt;. But, if you use formula to supplement, the process to produce more milk is never triggered, as you always take the same amount out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try &lt;strong&gt;cutting out the formula completely&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;feed her for shorter periods, but more frequently&lt;/strong&gt;, say every two hours from when she wakes up in the morning until you put her down for the night (however, unless she has problems with weight gain, though, I would not try to wake her up if she's sleeping just to keep this schedule).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About your one-hour feeding sessions, &lt;strong&gt;are you sure that your baby is actually feeding for the entire hour&lt;/strong&gt; (can you hear her swallowing throughout the feeding session?)? It sounds like she's just using your breast for comfort (which is fine, so long as you're both comfortable with it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also seems like your baby is sleeping a lot, and &lt;strong&gt;maybe the problem is that she's not really all that tired&lt;/strong&gt; when you try to put her down after her four hour nap. Try activating her (play little games, sing, or bounce her on your lap for a bit) for about 30-40 minutes before putting her back down again. If your baby is not tired, it's possible that she's just using the hour long feed as a way of entertaining herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This all being said, before taking any advice from the Internet, I would suggest &lt;strong&gt;seeking the help of a professional lactation consultant&lt;/strong&gt; to check that your baby has a good latch and that she doesn't have &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ankyloglossia&quot;&gt;tongue tie&lt;/a&gt; (which could stop her from feeding efficiently), just to rule out any technical problems the two of you might have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastActivityDate="2013-06-28T20:08:24.843" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8339" CreationDate="2013-06-29T00:20:16.410" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should be nursing 10-12 times per day in order to make sure your body produces enough milk (the more you nurse, the more it produces) and also to prevent engorgement. Aim for feeding about every 2 hours during the day and every 4 hours at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will know if she is taking enough in by how much is coming out the other end. By day 9, a newborn should soil 8-10 diapers a day. After day four, the baby should be done excreting meconium (dark green product of pre-birth ingestion), and stools should be loose and yellow. Stools are usually quite small, and may be seedy or curdy, and there should be several during the day. Urination should be 3-4 tbs 5-6 times a day. If you pour 3 tbsp of water into a clean diaper, you will know how heavy it should feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call your doctor if:   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Baby is having no wet or dirty diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Baby has dark colored urine after day 3 (should be pale yellow to    clear)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Baby has dark colored stools after day 4 (should be mustard yellow,    with no meconium)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Baby has fewer wet/soiled diapers or nurses less frequently than the    goals listed here&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Mom has symptoms of mastitis (sore breast with fever, chills, flu-like    aching)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The number of feedings and diapers change as baby ages (a 2-6 week old is different than a 9 day old). For more information see the link below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing/&quot;&gt;Kelly Bonyata&lt;/a&gt;, BS, IBCLC (Lactation consultant) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-06-29T09:16:30.027" LastActivityDate="2013-06-29T09:16:30.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8339" CreationDate="2013-06-29T03:09:30.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is possible to know how much milk your child is getting:  Weigh her on a sufficiently-precise scale, feed her, and then weigh her again.  The difference between the two weights is the amount of milk she received. Each 0.063 lbs difference equals 1 oz of milk consumed.  (In practice, an accurate measurement can be difficult due to squirminess.  You might end up trying to take an average.)  She doesn't need to be undressed or diaper-changed... We only care about the weight difference.  (It is also interesting to compare this number against the pumped amounts.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't necessarily tell you how much she &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt;, although &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/milkcalc/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;some references&lt;/a&gt; say that babies 1-6 months old drink on average about 25 oz per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that said:  The best advice is probably to see an actual lactation consultant soon.  They probably have the requisite scales, and their advice is worth it when trying to figure out go-forward plans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4351" LastActivityDate="2013-06-29T03:09:30.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8346" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8348" CreationDate="2013-06-29T04:33:45.250" Score="3" ViewCount="381" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife stopped giving my first child breastmilk when he was around 13 months old, because she was having a second pregnancy. At that time, when my wife kept giving breastmilk to the first child, her physical condition became weaker. The indication could be seen by easily having an influenza everyday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my second child was born already one month ago. We are now starting to learn to give breastmilk again to our first child. But it is very difficult. Everytime my wife gives him her breast, my son just kisses the breast and gets away after that. I still don't find a good way to make my son eager to be fed breastmilk again. Do you any good idea?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your information, after weaning, my son doesn't drink any milk, he only drinks mineral water and his appetite for food is bigger rather than when he was still having breastmilk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that anyone here can share his/her ideas who has same experiences with this condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-07T14:04:12.350" LastActivityDate="2018-12-07T14:04:12.350" Title="How to make my son have breastmilk again after several months of weaning?" Tags="|toddler|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8346" CreationDate="2013-06-29T16:04:31.713" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are probably fighting against his natural social development by expecting him to go back to the breast after having grown beyond it. Natural weaning can start as early as 6 months (when solids are introduced) and often occurs by age one (with increases in appetite and activity). Your son has developed his first level of independence with some control over his own feeding, so it is natural that he would resist a return to dependence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the focus should be on making sure he gets adequate nutrition rather than where he gets it from (breast or other source). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could try giving him expressed breast milk in a bottle or cup (whatever he normally drinks from now) if he will take it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could try mixing milk with something to make it more palatable. There have been a number of studies done on children who resist drinking milk. They have found that if you mix milk with something the child will drink (and this may take some experimenting), then over time you can reduce the proportion of &quot;other drink&quot; to milk so that eventually the child is drinking straight milk. Possibilities include chocolate flavoring, a spoonful of ice cream, or a little sugar and vanilla.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can make milkshakes in the blender with milk, fruit and ice (or milk and pieces of frozen fruit) and a tiny bit of sugar if necessary (honey is not recommended before age 1). This can be an &quot;event&quot; where the child gets to drop the fruit into the blender or help push the blender button. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;New milk-based drinks might be presented with flair - special cup, introduction of the straw, or presented as Mummy or Daddy's drink which the child initially is only allowed to have a sip of.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You also might try milk with different levels of fat content. Some&#xA;kids don't like the texture of whole milk (4% milkfat), preferring a&#xA;more &quot;watery&quot; 2% or 1%. At his age, you want plenty of fat to sustain&#xA;his growth, so if you get him to drink skim or 1%, you might&#xA;gradually mix in a &quot;heavier&quot; milk until you bring him up to 2%.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You mention that he eats well, and this is very good. If you do not&#xA;have success with milk, there are other dairy products that work as&#xA;well for supplying the nutrients we expect from milk, like yogurt,&#xA;cheese, or cottage cheese. Fats and proteins can be obtained through&#xA;other foods, like meats and nuts (there is no agreement on the best age to introduce nuts, but they should be introduced under doctor's supervision if there is a family history of nut allergy). Calcium can be obtained through calcium-fortified foods (soy milk, orange juice, cereals, and breads).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sources:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mayo Clinic - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weaning/MY01438&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Weaning: Tips for Breastfeeding Mothers&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;National Institute of Health (Melanie Bachmeyer) - &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2854063/pdf/i1998-1929-2-1-43.pdf&quot;&gt;Treatment of Selective and Inadequate Food Intake in Children: A Review and Practical Guide&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Karen Sokal-Gutierrez M.D., M.P.H. Pediatrician - &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fisher-price.com/en_US/playtime/parenting/articlesandadvice/articledetail.html?article=tcm:169-20999&quot;&gt;Why does my toddler refuse milk?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;US FDA - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fda.gov/food/resourcesforyou/healtheducators/ucm089629.htm&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Once Baby Arrives: Food Safety&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; : &quot;Honey isn't safe for children less than a year old. It can contain the Clostridium botulinum organism that could cause serious illness or death.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/when-can-baby-have-nuts.htm#.Uc8Bk5xW-cs&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;When Can Baby Eat Nuts?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; - Wholesome Baby Food &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-06-30T04:08:59.567" LastActivityDate="2013-06-30T04:08:59.567" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8349" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-06-30T18:03:41.350" Score="7" ViewCount="5365" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 1/2 year old baby daughter is having difficult with her bowel. She seems to have a constipation sensation. I have personally never seen small aged children having constipation in my life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like to seek guidance on the causes, cures and prevention for constipation in babies and toddlers. Thanks  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2297" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T21:29:08.660" Title="What are the causes and remedies of constipation in toddlers?" Tags="|toddler|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8350" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8354" CreationDate="2013-07-01T01:46:02.300" Score="3" ViewCount="551" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is 14 day old. The cord clip has fallen off.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;How to clean the face of a newborn without letting the &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;soap&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; go inside the eyes and mouth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-07-01T10:46:59.630" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T14:35:16.083" Title="How to clean the face of a newborn?" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8332" CreationDate="2013-07-01T02:54:44.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents who spend their days yelling &quot;No, don't touch, be careful, it's dangerous&quot; at their offspring and not following through are a pet peeve of mine.  I try to adopt a two-pronged strategy:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) &lt;strong&gt;Resist the urge to say no&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;em&gt;even when they're doing something patently stupid and/or dangerous&lt;/em&gt;.  They're about to chew on a shoe?  Let them chew on the shoe, it's not going to kill them and they'll eventually realize it tastes bad and stop eating it.  They're reaching for a book at the edge of a table and it's about to fall on their head? Let them reach for it and have it fall on their head.  Maybe they'll bump and fall and cry, but that's how they learn not to reach for things they can't grab.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And quite often you'll be astonished at how many things they &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do given the chance when you're not telling them &quot;No!&quot; all the time.  For example, shortly before his 2nd birthday, our son learned to leap two feet off a high platform at the playground onto a rope, grab onto it and shimmy down -- and then stopped doing it because he realized it was a bit too hard for him to do well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) &lt;strong&gt;When you do have to say no, don't just say it, do it.&lt;/strong&gt;  If they try to do something &lt;em&gt;seriously&lt;/em&gt; dangerous, give them a sharp &quot;No!&quot; and then physically remove them from the temptation.  The idea is to make it clear that &quot;No!&quot; is not an idle sound or negotiable request, it's a red line that cannot be crossed.  And do try to remove those temptations if feasible: for example, those window blind wires that could cause the whole contraption to come crashing down on his head if yanked hard enough can be easily wrapped around a hook, safely out of reach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2013-07-01T02:54:44.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8350" CreationDate="2013-07-01T03:26:27.150" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a 10 day old, I'd not use soap at all. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/healthy-baby/PR00041&quot;&gt;From the Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends sponge baths until the umbilical cord stump falls off — which might take up to three weeks... Wet the washcloth, wring out excess water and wipe your baby's face. &lt;strong&gt;There's no need to use soap.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-07-01T03:26:27.150" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8353" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8355" CreationDate="2013-07-01T10:44:37.363" Score="2" ViewCount="10532" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem is improper latching, I think.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The breastmilk is there. I can see drops when I press the breast.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I fed her for approx. 40 min - 20 min. one breast and 20 min. another in a row. This didn't satisfy her and had to be fed formula 70ml then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know the whole brown portion of the nipple (areola) needs to be inserted in the baby's mouth, but I am not able to do so. The problem is that she opens her mouth wide for a second and that time is not enough for me to put the whole brown portion of the breast in her mouth. She ends up closing her mouth with my nipple in it. She bites hard enough to hurt while closing her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;What is a practical way to put the whole brown portion of breast in her mouth?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Age: 14 days.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-12-12T14:19:46.573" LastActivityDate="2018-12-12T14:19:46.573" Title="How to latch a newborn properly?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8350" CreationDate="2013-07-01T11:22:26.587" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When ours was that age we used only a very little soap lathered up across a very thin, slightly moist washcloth. We had another moist washcloth to rinse with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things to remember:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A baby's skull has not fully formed at this age. &lt;strong&gt;Do not&lt;/strong&gt; press hard at all! This can cause all sorts of issues&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wipe gently with a soft cloth that is not overly absorbed in water! Baby skin is soft and easily scratched and also, too much water will obviously lead to water and soap going into a facial orifice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Listen to baby. S/he will let you know if s/he is uncomfortable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At this age, be sure to control the head and neck and, if feasible, have someone help you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2013-07-01T11:22:26.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8353" CreationDate="2013-07-01T11:44:40.030" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting a good latch is indeed very important, and if you suspect your baby is not latching properly now is a very good time to work on it, before it becomes a hard-to-break-habit for your child to latch in a suboptimal way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, the size of the areola, &quot;the brown part of the breast&quot;, varies between women. Some women have very small areolas, others have very big ones. Sometimes, the whole areola won't fit inside the mouth of the baby, and that's ok too. &lt;strong&gt;What is important is that the baby gets a big mouth-full of breast&lt;/strong&gt;, and doesn't end up just nibbling at the nipple (this will mean a lot of pain for the mother, and not so much milk for the child).   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something a lot of new mothers don't know is that you need to use a little bit of gentle preassure in the beginning to get the baby on your breast before she closes her mouth. Gently rub your nipple against her upper lip, and she'll open her mouth. As she opens, quickly press your childs mouth against your breast, aiming the nipple upwards to her pallet. If your breasts are engorged or your nipples flat or inverted, you might want to create a &quot;breast sandwich&quot; by compressing the breast just behind the edges of the areola using the thumb and index finger of the hand that is not holding the baby, to make it easier for the baby to get enough breast into her mouth. Apply the gentle preassue on the baby's neck and shoulders, but be careful to not push on the back of your baby's head (most babies will react badly to this). If your baby does not latch on well, insert your pinky into the corner of her mouth to break the suction, remove your nipple from her mouth, and start again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be very hard to learn how to get a good latch simply from reading about it, and having someone show you is always the best way. If you don't have access to someone who can teach you, you can always rely on videos online. I learnt a lot from watching &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zln0LTkejIs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this video&lt;/a&gt; about how to latch a baby on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the supplementation, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8339/how-to-know-whether-i-am-producing-sufficient-breast-milk&quot;&gt;I already offered an explanation&lt;/a&gt; in another question as to why this is not a very good idea if you wish to build a good milk supply for your baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-07-01T11:44:40.030" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8301" CreationDate="2013-07-01T16:29:21.593" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mary-Jo's answer above is awesome, but I'd flesh out one more idea from our personal experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't just encourage all poop, specifically encourage diaper-pooping at least as much as you previously encouraged the potty.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case, it seemed like our son had the following issue:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He knew going on the potty was awesome.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He was &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; able to make himself go while on the potty yet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He &lt;strong&gt;was&lt;/strong&gt; able to prevent himself from going when not on the potty.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result, his trying to get better potty-trained resulted in a lot of withholding, and that then led to more painful stools, which reinforced it, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped some was making it explicitly clear that pooping in his diaper was awesome.  We celebrate, and do high-fives, with the goal of eliminating his percieved sense that it'd be much better to go in the potty.  (We'll obviously go back to that eventually, but want to get to a point where he's more capable of passing stool when he wants too-until then, his only control mechanism is just stopping him up.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2013-07-01T16:29:21.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8357" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8358" CreationDate="2013-07-02T07:24:50.067" Score="9" ViewCount="1886" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a boy, 10 years old. I think he is quite smart and can understand all the reasoning as good as any intelligent adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, he can be quite difficult to deal with. He has some bad habits, such as shutting himself up and refuse to have any outdoor activities because he is quite addicted to computer games and comics. Another bad habit is that he would often make his sister cry for no reason ( or as he often puts it, &quot;out of pure pleasure&quot;). I try to reason him out of his bad habits, but it simply doesn't work. He would just frown and shout at me. It should be noted that I won't getting into a shouting match with him, not even once ( unlike so many of other parents). When he shouts, I just look at him in his eyes intensely and call him out for this poor behavior: &quot;boy, you are losing your cool, and I don't like your manner, if you continue this behavior, no one can talk to you at all&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He would then just walk off and lock himself up again. And he would just continue his bad habits. He does not respect my authority as his parent, neither does he behave like a grown up person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to deal with such a problematic kid? Should I just cane him in order to restore my authority?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4496" LastEditorUserId="4496" LastEditDate="2013-07-02T07:49:27.270" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T03:25:53.303" Title="What to do if my kids would not listen to my reasoning?" Tags="|behavior|development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8357" CreationDate="2013-07-02T09:08:33.323" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are falling into the trap that so many parents (including myself sometimes) get into, which is trying to &lt;strong&gt;win&lt;/strong&gt;. You aren't engaging in a shouting match (which is to be commended), however you are engaging in a battle of wills with the strong eye contact and body language. You both see it as a contest, and a contest must have a victor. It's the same thing deep down as 2 males from many species fighting for dominance, reasoning doesn't enter into it on either side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you continue to engage in contests he is going to get stronger and more defiant. Your relationship could deteriorate and you could end up in constant battles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you have to realize is that as children grow up they want more control of their own lives, and if you don't give it to them they will often take it whether you like it or not. There's actually a lot to be happy about with your son. He has spirit, and if he stands up to his own dad he's not going to let some bully take advantage of him! Rejoice about the fact that you have the makings of a strong, confident man in your boy. Realize at the same time that that same spirit is going to make him want to strike out on his own, and take control of his life. He's entering the phase where he goes from being a child to being an adult, and it's natural and good that he wants some control. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your job now is to help guide this young person rather than trying to control him. Control is out. Throw away the word obey, and bring in the words compromise and cooperate. This means you have to give sometimes, remember it's not about winning, it's about guiding. Give him a bit of responsibility, and praise him for good work and effort. Once he handles a bit of responsibility give him a bit more, and tell him why you're giving it to him. Let him make some decisions, give him choices. If he wants to be treated like an adult then do so, but in increments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents set up a written contract that states expected behavior on both sides. This sounds a bit legal, but what it really does is provide a framework for you and your child to discuss how things will happen in the future. It helps start a dialog when both sides are fighting. You could use it to set limits on TV and video games, for example, and get him doing chores. If he doesn't do his chores then he could lose video game privileges for example. Most importantly your son must be involved in drawing up this contract he has to feel it is his, not something forced upon him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you fight every battle then your life will be nothing but battles and home won't be a good place for either of you. Pick your battles and fight only the things that really matter. Establish some give and take, use choices to avoid arguments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly you need to keep your relationship with him healthy. He's obviously trying to get your attention, that's why he's making your daughter cry: he knows it pisses you off and will get you interacting with him. He will keep hitting that button if it's the only way to get you. He's not doing it out of spite or malice, it's desperation! He wants you, and acting out is the most effective way to get you for certain. So, do stuff with him: get a ball and take him to a park, go to a movie, go for a walk. Teach him about life, about how to be a good person. Boys look to their dads to teach them to be men, that's part of what he wants from you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask yourself what kind of relationship you would want if you were him, and how you would like to be treated. Use that to guide your behavior. It's not always easy and you will make plenty of mistakes, but he will recognize the fact you are putting effort it and overlook the mistakes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2014-01-04T19:23:53.890" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T19:23:53.890" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8357" CreationDate="2013-07-02T13:26:50.573" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When dealing with a two year old, we are often reminded &quot;tell them what to do, not what not to do.&quot; For example encouraging a child to &quot;use your inside voice&quot; rather than &quot;don't yell&quot; or &quot;walking is safer on the stairs&quot; rather than &quot;don't run&quot;. It's not that different with a ten year old. You are just telling him &quot;don't tease your sister&quot;. What should he do instead? Perhaps you want them to &quot;play together and both have fun&quot; or &quot;find some fun that is fun for everyone&quot; or &quot;be generous and loving&quot; - in our house we used the phrase &quot;loving team&quot; as a reminder of a longer speech about how we expect the children to treat each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other thing: I believe that 10 is far too young to have internet and games in their own bedroom. They can stay up far later than they should playing, they are vulnerable to chats and the like with random strangers who may not be well meaning, and they can easily get cut off from the family. Studies have shown that children with a TV in their bedroom are not as skilled at sharing and negotiating as children with a single living room TV. Games, computers, and TV should be in family areas only. Perhaps you can have two such areas - one for fairly quiet and shareable activities and one for louder or more intrusive activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if you want him to undertake outdoor activities, undertake them yourself and invite him to join. Yes, 40 years ago parents would say &quot;go play outside&quot; but the skills are rather lost. So &quot;let's go for a bike tour&quot; or &quot;it's time for the family weekend hike now&quot; or &quot;come on everyone, it's time for yard work&quot; (mowing, trimming, weeding etc). Set a good example, and make it fun for everyone. By having the siblings work side by side at something and be praised together, you may also reduce his motivation to tease her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-02T13:26:50.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2013-07-02T17:41:21.437" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should find a baby sitter or ask neighbour to spend time with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4499" LastActivityDate="2013-07-02T17:41:21.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8211" CreationDate="2013-07-02T17:47:06.913" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should start reading a story to your son and when there's an interesting moment you should stop and let your kid continue reading himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4499" LastActivityDate="2013-07-02T17:47:06.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8061" CreationDate="2013-07-02T18:02:46.180" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, you should stop talking in russian and start talking English. Som child will have no choice, and will learn and understand this language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4500" LastActivityDate="2013-07-02T18:02:46.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8331" CreationDate="2013-07-03T03:37:08.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was told to leave it alone. you don't want to irritate her vagina, it should come out with a good bath in warm water &amp;amp; gentle soap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4504" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T03:37:08.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8263" CreationDate="2013-07-03T03:47:17.067" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Show her these videos: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/user/letterpeopleland&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/user/letterpeopleland&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kindergarten teachers used to use this show from the early 70s to about the mid 90s to help kids with reading &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4505" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T03:47:17.067" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2013-07-03T04:59:15.773" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;To add to Dave's excellent answer I also recommend trying to let go of any inhibitions you might have in regards to &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;where&lt;/em&gt; you have sex. In my book the living room on a Saturday afternoon is a perfectly acceptable place &amp;amp; time to get jiggy with it. As long as the children are asleep of course. Oh, and you might want to lock the front door if you have friends &amp;amp; family that are accustomed to the old knock/open/yell hello routine. That dead bolt has saved us a couple times :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2873" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T04:59:15.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8263" CreationDate="2013-07-03T06:15:07.377" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;After searching hundreds of websites, I finally found one that has what I was looking for. It is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.oxfordowl.co.uk/Teacher&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have books which you can sort by age and reading level. The books are made in flash but you can print them out, which is exactly what I wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of all, the books are free. Yeah!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The search string was: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=ebook%20children%20stories&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ebook children stories&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastEditorUserId="4174" LastEditDate="2013-07-03T14:20:53.623" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T14:20:53.623" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4526" CreationDate="2013-07-03T06:18:21.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants often rub their eyes when they are tired, so this is probably a symptom of tiredness &amp;amp; I would try to put her down for a nap when she starts rubbing them. To be sure she is tired, look for other cues when she is rubbing her eyes, such as yawning and fussiness. My son did this also and it took me a while to figure out that he was actually tired!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4506" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T06:18:21.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2013-07-03T06:31:35.973" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give the child a nightlight or flashlight. Play soothing music to help her calm down at bedtime. Hug her and stay with her briefly so she knows she can count on you. Give her a favorite stuffed animal or doll to take to bed. Read a story or watch a nonthreatening cartoon about a friendly or helpful ghost to point out that ghosts do not have to be frightening.&#xA;Why not watch Casper or Ghostbusters with your kids? I think they won't be afraid anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4507" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T06:31:35.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8350" CreationDate="2013-07-03T14:35:16.083" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can use soap or just water. Mustela also has this cleanser that you can use on their diaper area or face. It's a rinse free solution. I squirt some on a small cotton pad during bath and wipe it on dd's face. When I run out I'll just use water or soap but I had some of this left over so that's what I'm using now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4499" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T14:35:16.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8349" CreationDate="2013-07-03T15:01:59.097" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I were given the advice of giving cooled boiled water (mixed with formula, if applicable). It worked for our 5 months old baby. We also have a 3 years old boy and he used to have the same trouble. We gave him water and grapes and went low on the dairy products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some great links for more information : &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.ca/a79/constipation&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.ca/a79/constipation&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://children.webmd.com/guide/toddler-constipation-causes-treatments&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://children.webmd.com/guide/toddler-constipation-causes-treatments&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4154" LastEditorUserId="4154" LastEditDate="2013-07-03T15:29:28.020" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T15:29:28.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="782" CreationDate="2013-07-03T15:52:46.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I very much like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/787/420&quot;&gt;Lennart Regebro's answer&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also a consideration as to whether you and your partner would prefer to have your child early, or later in life.  Of course, this consideration may be moot depending upon when you and your partner find each other; my wife and I didn't marry until our late 30's, so obviously having a child together in our 20's was not an option, but this will be an option for many other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choosing to have a child early (typically somewhere in the 20's or early 30's) has the potential advantages of finding more new parents in your age range (for example, in the U.S., in 2008, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_surprising-facts-about-birth-in-the-united-states_1372273.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;the average age of first-time mothers was 25.1&lt;/a&gt;.  Being closer to the average age range for parents means that as your child grows, you have an increased chance of finding that your child's friends have parents of similar ages to your own.  For some, this may make it easier to find social opportunities with other parents that facilitate &amp;quot;playdates&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surprisingly, having a child early doesn't necessarily mean that &lt;a href=&quot;http://health.howstuffworks.com/pregnancy-and-parenting/pregnancy/issues/pregnancy-at-different-ages-20s-30s-and-40s.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;there's a reduced risk of complications&lt;/a&gt;.  Mothers in their 20's, 30's, and 40's all have their own potential complications, ranging from a higher incidence of low birth-weight with younger mothers, to higher incidences of chromosomal abnormalities and miscarriages with older mothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a child later may mean you bring a certain amount of increased maturity and experience to the table, which can be hard to quantify, but can certainly be of great benefit, both to your child and your own peace of mind!.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently read a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2013/06/26/the-best-time-to-have-children/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;personal finance blog entry&lt;/a&gt; that reminded me of this question, and which addresses an aspect of the decision making process that I don't feel is adequately represented by any of the other answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the personal responsibility and maturity that should be essential criteria for parenting (second in importance only to a strong &lt;em&gt;desire&lt;/em&gt; to become utterly responsible for a new life!), &lt;strong&gt;financial responsibility&lt;/strong&gt; is an important consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raising children is not cheap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In most cases, you are either going to have to sacrifice the income of one person, or pay for daycare, for at least a few years.  You may even wind up with a combination of both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the solid advice of &amp;quot;&lt;strong&gt;Don't have children unless you're [both] absolutely sure about it&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;quot;, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2013/06/26/the-best-time-to-have-children/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;blog advises two main financial criteria&lt;/a&gt; to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I would use your debt situation as a primary factor in figuring out when to have children&lt;/strong&gt;. The larger your debt load is, the harder it’s going to be to manage the expenses of having a child, because that child is likely going to introduce a new large monthly bill (child care) and add to your other expenses as well (diapers, clothing, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much debt is too much debt for this? You’re likely to hear all kinds of arguments, but I would be wary about having a child if my monthly housing bill is more than 30% of my income and if my other debts take up more than 10% of my monthly income.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you’re dropping more than 40% of your income into housing (whether renting or a mortgage payment) and other debts, you’re walking a financial tightrope, one that is going to be made &lt;em&gt;far&lt;/em&gt; more treacherous with a child involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and secondly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps even more important than the debt load is &lt;strong&gt;your own ability to spend less than you earn&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The debt load is a major concern because it might put you in a difficult position if your job situation changes. On the other hand, if you’re currently struggling to spend less than you earn without a child, it will be far more of a struggle with a child because you’re adding a lot of expenses and stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T15:52:46.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8375" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-03T16:48:01.050" Score="7" ViewCount="1042" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you asked Grace (2 1/2) right now &amp;quot;What can't daddy do?&amp;quot; she would probably not understand the question. Daddy can move anything, fix anything, run as fast as &lt;em&gt;lightning&lt;/em&gt;; simply put, there's nothing Daddy can't do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Except honestly, I'm a programmer for a living, and I don't work out. Like most (not all!) of my fellow IT guys, I'm not all that strong. And when it comes to fixing stuff, I'm really not all that great at that. C'mon, I had to go to Home Improvement Stack Exchange just to &lt;a href=&quot;https://diy.stackexchange.com/q/6310/2660&quot;&gt;fix a dryer duct&lt;/a&gt;! And sure I used to be fast in high school, but I have a hip injury now that prevents me from running much at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But she doesn't know these things. To her, I'm a freaking superman.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the other day, we were driving along when she said she wanted to go to the toy store. (It's actually a salvage center at a local landfill. Protip: they love $5 toys just as much or more as they love $100 toys!!) Except that it was the Sunday before a national holiday. In Canada (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hrreporter.com/articleview/16797-employees-prefer-time-off-over-salary-increase-survey&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;the only country in the world that values time off more than additional pay&lt;/a&gt;). So as you can imagine, it wasn't open. And that's when she had the &lt;em&gt;perfect&lt;/em&gt; solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Maybe Daddy open it!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;- Gracie&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And try as we might, my wife nor I could get it through her head that no, Daddy can't open the toy store. (Daddy is a very big fan of not going to jail.) And I know it's very common, and of course it feels kind of cool to be thought highly of, especially in areas I'm historically horrible in. And I don't want to just crush her spirit, or make her think I'm bad at everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I want her to know who I really am, to know the things I'm good at and not good at. I want her to know that it's okay to be not good at some things and that no one expects perfection. I want her to have a realistic sense of who I am. How can I do this in a way that isn't damaging to her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T01:44:14.847" Title="How can I explain to my child that I'm not superman?" Tags="|development|learning|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8375" CreationDate="2013-07-03T18:40:05.950" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids have to learn that there are limits and there's no way to avoid it, you just have to explain why things can't happen (often over and over). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to be good at doing everything, you just have to be good at being a dad. If you do one thing well in your life make it that and she won't give a hoot if you don't even know how to fill up your car. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T18:40:05.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8375" CreationDate="2013-07-03T19:55:53.920" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's fine that she sees you as a hero. Be her hero and teach her well. Convince her that you are not superman by showing how poorly your flying abilities are. That is, let her see that you are merely human. Talk to her about what you can and cannot do. This way you won't suddenly disappoint her when she realises at the wrong time that you aren't superman.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T19:55:53.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2013-07-03T20:34:31.603" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whether you should wake a sleeping newborn for feedings depends on the baby's age, weight and overall health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most newborns lose weight in the first few days after birth. Until your newborn regains this lost weight — usually within one to two weeks after birth — it's important to feed him or her frequently. This might mean occasionally waking your baby for a feeding, especially if he or she sleeps for a stretch of more than four hours. Once your newborn establishes a pattern of weight gain and reaches the birth-weight milestone, however, it's generally OK to wait for feedings until he or she wakes up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day — about one feeding every two to three hours. While waking up a sleeping baby might seem like a bad idea, frequent feedings early on are important for a couple of reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crying is a late sign of hunger. The sooner you begin each feeding, the less likely you'll need to soothe a frantic baby. Look for early signs of hunger, such as stirring, restlessness, sucking motions and lip movements.&#xA;Frequent feedings support early breast-feeding. If you breast-feed, frequent feedings will help you establish your milk supply.&#xA;Keep in mind that premature babies often have special nutritional needs. If your baby was born prematurely or you're concerned about your baby's feeding patterns or weight gain, consult his or her doctor for specific recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4504" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T20:34:31.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4480" CreationDate="2013-07-03T20:46:51.973" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use Dreft. Some of my kids toys I just threw into the washer on delicate. I put them in the dryer on low with a couple of towels, and brushed out afterward. (They needed BIG cleaning- they were vomited on) Although the tags said don't wash, it was either that or throw them out, and one of them was a lovey stuffy. They came out pretty good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things I just used a damp washcloth over the fur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything else that's a toy that isn't plush, I run through the dishwasher, every couple weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4505" LastActivityDate="2013-07-03T20:46:51.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7828" CreationDate="2013-07-04T06:45:52.627" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you shouldn't hide your emotions. Then kids will see that you trust them, that's why you can show your feelings, and they will trust you too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4506" LastActivityDate="2013-07-04T06:45:52.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7371" CreationDate="2013-07-04T06:48:16.840" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should buy ear muffs. They are comfortable, cute and will help you to protect your ears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4506" LastActivityDate="2013-07-04T06:48:16.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6893" CreationDate="2013-07-04T06:56:03.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 2005 study by Britain’sEnvironment Agency (which has now been lost from my browser bookmarks) took into account some of these technological advances. In making their calculations regarding cloth diapers, the study used average energy-consumption figures for machines made in 1997. They concluded that there was “no significant difference” between the environmental impact of cloth and disposable diapers. Raising a child in home-laundered cloth diapers for 2.5 years emitted 1,232 pounds of carbon dioxide equivalent vs. 1,380 pounds for disposable diapers. Perhaps the study would have been more widely accepted had the authors of the study used statistics from more recent washing machines. The study also left out the resilience of cloth diapers and didn’t touch on the waste-management consequences of disposables. FACT: In the United States, disposable diapers make up about 2 percent of all garbage!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4507" LastActivityDate="2013-07-04T06:56:03.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2013-07-04T07:00:40.383" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always changed my daughter's diaper right away, as soon as I knew if it was wet or stinky. She's 3 1/2 now and has been potty trained since 18 mos. She never liked to sit around in a wet diaper, I think it really helped in the potty training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4507" LastActivityDate="2013-07-04T07:00:40.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8388" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8391" CreationDate="2013-07-05T01:10:11.167" Score="3" ViewCount="470" Body="&lt;p&gt;My hypothesis is this: If a kid (aged about 12 or older) knows how to be a good liar, and how to spot other (good) liars will actually be more honest, or at least be able to be in relationships of higher quality in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm setting the age limit at 12 because a younger kid who can lie without you realizing it would be a nightmare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that I don't have kids. In fact I'm not even in a relationship but I'd like to hear your opinions. I was looking for a psychology site but didn't find one on SE. If you think my question is a better fit for another site please flag it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4508" LastActivityDate="2020-10-20T03:45:25.077" Title="Should I teach my kid how to lie?" Tags="|behavior|development|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8375" CreationDate="2013-07-05T08:28:01.083" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't worry. In fact, just enjoy it. She'll slowly learn how the World works and some time, probably in her teens, she'll make a break with the idea that you're superman and probably swing the other way for a bit. Be patient and loving. Let her work though it. And, deep down, even after she's grown up, the little girl in her will still believe you're special... but in a way that she'll be able to reconcile with the reality of the World.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, totally tell her you can fly. But only at night when she's asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4509" LastActivityDate="2013-07-05T08:28:01.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8332" CreationDate="2013-07-05T08:58:16.303" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just remember that the more you repeat &quot;no&quot; to your child when they're a toddler, the more they'll repeat it to you when they're 2-3-4 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4509" LastActivityDate="2013-07-05T08:58:16.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8388" CreationDate="2013-07-05T09:37:38.207" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is a fair parenting question, so I'll answer it even though it is hypothetical. My answer would be no, spotting a liar is a completely different skill than lying. While spotting a liar may be a good skill, being a good liar would likely encourage lying rather than prevent it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent I think it is unlikely that this question would ever come up in real life. With 12 year olds you're going to have your hands full getting them to do their homework and helping them through the difficult transition from childhood to adulthood. I'd prefer to concentrate on teaching useful life skills and keeping them out of trouble. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-07-05T09:37:38.207" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5407" CreationDate="2013-07-05T10:33:40.787" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my daughters did this, except she wanted me (her dad) not her mum. It lasted what seemed like a very long time (2+ years) but it passed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4509" LastActivityDate="2013-07-05T10:33:40.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8349" CreationDate="2013-07-05T10:46:03.937" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any time my daughter seems to have constipation I increase her water and offer her prunes, pears, or raisins. All of these have helped. If it is happening often, keep a food journal and talk with either the pediatrician or a nutritionist about what might be the cause. Bananas, apples, and dairy are common causes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastActivityDate="2013-07-05T10:46:03.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8394" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8396" CreationDate="2013-07-05T14:43:40.323" Score="10" ViewCount="55946" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Warning:&lt;/em&gt; this one may be a bit gross...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son, who is almost three, fairly regularly gets large clots of dried mucus wedged deep up his nose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They can stay there for days without coming out on their own, and they cause a noticeable whistle when he breathes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rubber suction bulb our hospital gave us when he was a newborn does absolutely nothing to help; the masses are too far up, and too big.  Not to mention my son &lt;em&gt;hates&lt;/em&gt; to have them shoved up his nose!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can still breath with them, and they only really seem to cause him discomfort when they've been there long enough to have hardened (at which point they'll typically come out on their own after a few more days, usually with a big sneeze).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a medical reason why my sons... boogers... may be a bit bigger and thicker than average, but we've seen a specialist, and he agrees that they're not symptomatic of any actual medical problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the question is: what, if anything, do we do about this?  Do we try to extract them for him?  We've tried teaching him how to blow his nose, but he just doesn't seem to be getting the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2019-08-09T18:08:45.317" Title="How can I help my toddler with his booger problem?" Tags="|toddler|health|hygiene|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8394" CreationDate="2013-07-05T18:48:42.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Water softens even the most stubborn booger and transforms it into a not exactly pleasant goo, that will simply dribble down your son's upper lip and into a waiting tissue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Water also comes in a steam form, but be careful, that can be hot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swimming pools and baths are great places for loosening boogers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-07-05T18:48:42.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8394" CreationDate="2013-07-05T19:09:45.853" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003049.htm&quot;&gt;MedlinePlus&lt;/a&gt; suggests saline nasal drops which can be bought commercially or made at home by stirring 1/4 teaspoon of salt into 1/2 cup lukewarm water (make this fresh every day). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Lay your child on his or her back, placing a rolled towel underneath    the shoulders. Put 2 or 3 saline nose drops into each&#xA;  nostril. Wait    30 - 60 seconds.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Turn the child on the stomach to help the mucus drain. Try to catch    the discharge outside the nostril on a tissue or swab. Roll the  tissue or swab around, and pull the discharge out of the nose. Do not &#xA;  insert a cotton swab into the child's nostrils.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You can use an infant nasal bulb (aspirator) to help remove the    mucus. Squeeze the air out of the bulb and then gently place the tip  into the nostril. Let the air come back into the bulb, pulling the    mucus out of the nose with it. Squeeze the mucus onto a tissue.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saline can also be purchased as a nasal spray rather than drops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also have used saline in a nebulizer. I purchased one online for about $60. (We have also used it to administer albuterol for asthma.) Instead of drops, your child is inhaling mist through a mask, which may be more comfortable. Saline can also be used in the nebulizer for coughs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Increasing water intake should also help with the consistency of nasal mucus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-07-06T03:18:23.700" LastActivityDate="2013-07-06T03:18:23.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8349" CreationDate="2013-07-05T19:20:27.140" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most common cause of constipation in toddlers is diet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From WebMD: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The culprit in many cases of toddler constipation is a diet that's too heavy in processed foods and sweets, and too light in fiber (like whole grains, fruits, and vegetables). Not getting enough fluid can also lead to constipation, because it makes the stools harder. Any change in diet -- such as when your toddler transitions from breast milk or formula to cow's milk or starts eating new foods -- can also affect the stools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Limiting especially constipating food like cheese and bananas especially can help. Adding additional liquids (water, juice, watermelon) and high fiber foods can help. Try adding prunes or plum juice, pears, raisins, etc. At 1 1/2 using babyfood pureeed versions of some of these items may be a good option. If keeping an eye on your toddler's diet and steering it in a better direction alone is not enough to relieve chronic constipation, your pediatrician may recommend a fiber supplement or stool softener.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2013-07-05T19:20:27.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8398" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-05T19:25:20.010" Score="5" ViewCount="369" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's sleep patterns are pretty good.  We start our bedtime routine around 20:30 - 21:00, and he's usually in bed by 21:30 (and asleep within minutes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been planning our activities and schedule around that routine as a fairly hard deadline, even on vacations and other special occasions, for fear of causing lasting disruptions in his sleep schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's almost 3.  What are the chances that a night of staying up late (for example, staying up an extra hour or two to enjoy holiday fireworks) would cause problems on subsequent nights (or mornings)?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to mitigate the disruption of such special occasions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-07-08T13:42:16.533" Title="How disruptive is an occasional exception to a toddler's sleep schedule?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8398" CreationDate="2013-07-06T03:04:10.030" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no stronger influence on a toddler's behavior than regular sleep! In my experience, an occasional late night might mean crankiness the next day, which is usually rectified by the following day if the next night's sleep is good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might mitigate disruption by having a rest in the late afternoon, and making sure the day is fairly routine other than the special evening event. You might also make sure sugar intake is low. The goal should be eliminating those things you know might trigger a meltdown so that you are only dealing with a disrupted sleep schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's worth it for something as cool as fireworks!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-06T03:04:10.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8400" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8438" CreationDate="2013-07-06T03:50:34.147" Score="8" ViewCount="3198" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is 24 days old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to know whether the baby is sucking breasts because she's hungry or because she is entertaining/soothing herself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Accordingly I wish to know when to take the breasts out of the baby's mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About 10 days back I used manual breast pump to measure how much milk I can produce in one go. It was 15ml in 2 minutes from one breast. After 2 minutes the same breast couldn't produce anymore milk at that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually I put baby to one breast for around half an hour. She sucks for few seconds and then takes a break for another few seconds, so on and so forth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;She falls asleep while sucking but does not leave the breast and the sucking process continues.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; After half an hour I get tired with the sitting posture therefore take the breast out and put her to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby sleeps for around 5 hours at one go during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I feed her after every two hours. Assuming the baby is sound, in &lt;em&gt;roughly&lt;/em&gt; how much time should I expect from her to get her fill with one breast at one go?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-07-12T15:59:36.373" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T04:43:15.477" Title="How to know whether the baby has had her fill while breastfeeding?" Tags="|infant|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8400" CreationDate="2013-07-06T05:38:23.750" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies usually &lt;strong&gt;stop feeding by themselves&lt;/strong&gt; when they are full. My child would turn her head away from me when she was full, you dont have to take it out from her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it because she is sucking for a very long time that is causing you to worry? Some babies opt for long feeds, while others finish quickly. My cousins child would feed for as long as 30 mins in one go and would cry again for another in another half hour, unless she was sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is best to follow your baby's lead not force her to stop before she's ready. Feeding like this is called baby-led feeding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also want to make sure that you have enough milk (although it is very uncommon for women to actually have too little milk). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some useful links for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.in/a617/signs-that-your-baby-is-getting-enough-breastmilk&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Signs that your baby is getting enough breastmilk&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.in/x553873/how-much-milk-does-a-baby-need-in-the-first-few-days&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How much milk does a baby need in the first few days?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.in/x8905/how-do-i-know-when-my-babys-finished-his-breastfeed&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How do I know when my baby has finished his breastfeed?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.in/x546905/how-often-should-i-breastfeed-my-baby&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How often should I breastfeed my baby&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4297" LastEditorUserId="2394" LastEditDate="2013-07-06T20:42:40.927" LastActivityDate="2013-07-06T20:42:40.927" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8402" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8404" CreationDate="2013-07-06T15:16:05.877" Score="4" ViewCount="87179" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes we make formula and later realize that kid isn't actually hungry. Formula is expensive so I would like to know for how much time is it safe to store it in fridge, and freezer?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though it is written on the formula packet that we shouldn't be storing it, should the warning be taken too literally?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-07-07T04:08:10.183" Title="How long can formula be stored in fridge and freezer?" Tags="|health|formula|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8402" CreationDate="2013-07-07T03:26:54.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/foodsafety/publications/micro/pif_guidelines.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;World Health Organization&lt;/a&gt; guidelines:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discard any feed that has not been consumed within two hours from preparation (unless refrigerated).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prepared feeds can be held in the refrigerator (≤5 °C) for up to 24 hours.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discard all leftover feed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Preferably, the hang-time for continuous or bolus feeds should be no more than two hours at room &#xA;temperature.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continuous or bolus feeds should not be warmed during feeding.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reasons for this are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Powdered infant formula (PIF) has been associated with serious illness and death in infants due to infections &#xA;  with &lt;em&gt;Enterobacter sakazakii&lt;/em&gt;. During production, PIF can become contaminated with harmful bacteria, such as &#xA;  &lt;em&gt;Enterobacter sakazakii&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;Salmonella enterica&lt;/em&gt;. This is because, using current manufacturing technology, it is &#xA;  not feasible to produce sterile PIF. During the preparation of PIF, inappropriate handling practices can exacerbate &#xA;  the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-07-07T03:26:54.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8402" CreationDate="2013-07-07T04:08:10.183" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nal.usda.gov/wicworks/Topics/FG/Chapter4_InfantFormulaFeeding.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;USDA&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Storing Infant Formula&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Store bottles of prepared infant formula in a properly functioning&#xA;  refrigerator until ready to use.  Bacterial growth is reduced when&#xA;  infant formula is kept in a refrigerator at temperatures at 40 degrees&#xA;  Fahrenheit or below. (Use a special thermometer to test if the&#xA;  refrigerator is at the appropriate temperature.) Caregivers should&#xA;  always consult their health care provider and follow the&#xA;  manufacturer’s label instructions for infant formula storage&#xA;  procedures. In general, it is recommended that caregivers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Use refrigerated bottles of concentrated or ready-to-feed infant    formula within 48 hours of preparation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Use refrigerated bottles of powdered infant formula within 24 hours    of preparation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Open cans of concentrated or ready made infant formula should be    covered, refrigerated, and used within 48 hours.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Freezing infant formula is not recommended.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Powdered  infant formula should be tightly covered and stored in a    cool, dry place and used within a month after opening.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Discard any infant formula remaining after a feeding. The mixture of    infant formula with saliva provides an ideal breeding ground for&#xA;  disease-causing micro-organisms.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Infant formula that is removed from refrigeration should be used    within 1 hour or discarded.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Before reusing any bottles or their parts, they should be cleaned and    sanitized.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The full 20-page document describes all aspects of formula feeding - different types of formula, what's in formula, information about milk, bottle feeding tips&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-07T04:08:10.183" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8406" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8464" CreationDate="2013-07-07T14:15:05.827" Score="23" ViewCount="210195" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3 months old baby is very keen on rolling over and being on his stomach. Most of the time he automatically rolls over in a few minutes after we put him on his back, including during bed time. Is this dangerous? We are particularly worried that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;his nose maybe blocked when facing down&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it is said that SIDS risk increases when a baby sleeps on his stomach&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is dangerous, how can we stop this, especially during bed time or other times when we can't watch him continuously?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4192" LastActivityDate="2014-08-26T16:20:35.083" Title="Baby always rolling over and ending up sleeping on his stomach, is it dangerous?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8406" CreationDate="2013-07-07T14:38:22.847" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not as dangerous as you think. Make sure your child is sleeping on a relatively firm surface, without squishy bumpers on the sides, and the baby will be fine. &lt;strong&gt;But still, when you put your child to sleep, &lt;em&gt;start&lt;/em&gt; with the the back&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes SIDS is a real danger, and there are indeed studies that show the risk increases when the baby sleeps on his stomach. But it's not like putting him in front of a moving train!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot reasonably restrain your child while he is sleeping, nor constantly wake him to change his position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may help you to sleep better at night to consider this semi-logic: if the baby can roll onto his stomach, he's clearly got some strength and mobility, which is often 'said' to reduce risk of SIDS.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on bigger risk factors, like the caregiver being under the influence, smoking, or being extremely tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also take all the junk out of the bed, I sometimes see babies sleeping with ten stuffed animals and a giant pillow - stick to a firm mattress and nothing else. Use warmer PJs and avoid all but the lightest, smallest blankets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="815" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2013-07-15T15:36:42.223" LastActivityDate="2013-07-15T15:36:42.223" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8408" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-07T16:05:07.713" Score="4" ViewCount="818" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anybody know of a place where you can query a database for baby names with certain characteristics? (Boy/girl, popularity 150-1500 in 2005, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4491" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-16T13:17:16.307" LastActivityDate="2019-01-16T13:17:16.307" Title="Querying a Database for Baby Names within Popularity Range?" Tags="|names|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8409" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-07T16:12:00.527" Score="4" ViewCount="21366" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1-year-old child is now trying to walk. She got hurt many times. Sometimes we had to rush her to the pediatrician. Mostly she used to hurt her tongue, cheek and head. My parents and I cannot prevent her from falling. Sometimes out of frustration I used to think we should put some kind of helmet on her. Please suggest some thing which will protect her from getting hurt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-28T17:39:59.263" LastActivityDate="2018-09-16T06:10:39.727" Title="How to prevent a 1-year-old from getting hurt while learning to walk?" Tags="|toddler|safety|walking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8410" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8411" CreationDate="2013-07-07T17:14:40.450" Score="5" ViewCount="806" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife need to go to hospital for some hours, maybe day. She can pump out some milk from her breasts but we have no idea how to store it properly, how long we can store it and if we need to do something before I can fed our newborn (I guess that I need to warm bottle to proper temperature). Are there any tips how to handle this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4514" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-08T15:55:53.560" LastActivityDate="2018-12-08T15:55:53.560" Title="How to properly store breastmilk" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8410" CreationDate="2013-07-07T18:57:25.327" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breast milk can keep up to six months in the freezer, up to 3-4 days in the fridge, and up to 4-6 hours outside it (a lactation specialist once told me). So the best solution in your case is to put it in the fridge. Put it into a sterile container such as a sterilized bottle. You can also divide it into portions depending on how much your baby drinks normally, and how much there is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before giving it to your child, warm it (not too much!) and be sure to shake the bottle a bit because the fat will separate from the water. Or maybe shake first and then warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-07-07T18:57:25.327" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8410" CreationDate="2013-07-07T19:31:50.173" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; froze it, then if you forget about it/don't need it/whatever, you're fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once frozen, it can keep for 6 months, some sources say more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To use it, sterilize a bottle, warm the frozen milk in a bath of warm water, then pour into the bottle. Do not microwave at any step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe I'm maybe taking for granted here the storage mechanism:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;find a pump you can attach a bottle or baggie to&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pump into sterile bottle or baggie&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;transfer to sterile baggie if you were using a bottle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;label the baggie with the date&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;put it in the freezer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="815" LastActivityDate="2013-07-07T19:31:50.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8408" CreationDate="2013-07-07T20:20:53.830" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/babynames/#ht=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Social Security office&lt;/a&gt; maintains a database which can be searched by name, year, gender, ranking...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more obscure names, you can find data &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/babynames/limits.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-07T20:20:53.830" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8409" CreationDate="2013-07-07T20:32:03.103" Score="8" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch her and catch her when you can, and comfort her when you don't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn how to judge the severity of the fall. Generally, if she cries, the fall isn't too bad. If she is groggy and does not respond, then you need to contact a doctor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also carefully monitor the state of your child after a fall to make sure her condition returns to normal. If anything seems wrong or if you feel worried, just contact your doctor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our little one has had some nasty falls – face hitting both shelves of the coffee table, face into a fence pole (blood nose, trip to hospital), falling backwards off couch – and many many smaller ones. For the smaller ones, like the ones you describe, she sometimes cries, sometimes just says &quot;bonk&quot; and sometimes is furious. But she always reacts promptly and normally, so we know that nothing is wrong, even though it looks bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids fall. It's a part of learning about the world. Just may your world safe so that when they fall, they are less likely to do any severe damage. Ironically, they will learn to walk better if the environment is not too 'padded'. They might start tripping over the edge of the rug, but don't take the rug away, as it acts as a device to teach them how to walk more stably. Same goes with socks and somewhat slippery floor, and sand and bark, and walking on a trampoline. They're all more difficult than basic walking, but they help the child learn to walk better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And learn to worry less about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-07-07T20:32:03.103" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8409" CreationDate="2013-07-07T20:48:43.747" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;While falling and getting hurt are part of learning to walk. Here are a few tips that may help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She needs furniture without sharp edges to pull up on and help her&#xA;balance. Keep a close eye on her to prevent her grabbing onto unsafe or unstable surfaces.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A carpeted surface (short nap so it doesn't trip her) is a softer&#xA;landing spot than ceramic tiles. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep the floors clear of things she could trip on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Block off unsafe areas, like stairs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Practice walking with her, holding her two hands. The more practice she gets, the sooner she will gain her balance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Until she is walking outside, let her walk barefoot. If it is cold, consider soft booties with leather or leather-like soles where she has full range of motion in her feet and reasonable grip.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A helmet is not advised as it could slip and cause injury to head or neck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-07T20:48:43.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8416" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8439" CreationDate="2013-07-08T04:10:22.630" Score="6" ViewCount="294" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a friend, who has a child ( who is about 12-13 years old) who is diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar symptom. Now, dealing with a child who can't think straightly and suffer from hallucinations is very different from dealing with other normal kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We understand that taking medicine is very important for the child to get well again. But usual reasoning with the child won't do. We also contemplate to use brute force to use medicine on him. But this is not very good, plus we lack the will to do that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should we do in this case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4496" LastEditorUserId="4496" LastEditDate="2013-07-09T04:15:09.070" LastActivityDate="2013-07-11T04:12:21.613" Title="How to get schizophrenia and bipolar kids to take medication?" Tags="|middle-childhood|medicine|doctor|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8408" CreationDate="2013-07-08T09:03:43.280" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess if you want to check a single name, then &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wolframalpha.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wolfram Alpha&lt;/a&gt; is a good place to start. For the input &lt;code&gt;name patrick&lt;/code&gt; you get various stastics regarding rank and fractions&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/f42Xt.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a timeline for the fraction&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/FRY4s.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;estimates of age and number currently living people with this name&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/xnuSs.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a plot of the age distribution&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ySzqy.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and of course the most important: celebrities with the same name&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/hur62.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2697" LastActivityDate="2013-07-08T09:03:43.280" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8398" CreationDate="2013-07-08T13:42:16.533" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to Marc Weissbluth, author of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.amazon.com/dp/0449004023&amp;amp;sa=U&amp;amp;ei=ScDaUYe2Gerc0QHSt4HQBQ&amp;amp;ved=0CCsQFjAA&amp;amp;sig2=8eVpmLNsBDt2B9dS5Z99Kw&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNHDHJEggrX55P9i8QUVwZMAo1dYyg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child&lt;/a&gt; and other notable books on pediatric sleep, most children do well with about 80% consistency in schedule. Unfortunately the location where I found this quote repeated over and over again was his now-defunct blog &quot;The Weissbluth Method,&quot; so I cannot point you to a source. His point was that life is not perfect and parents aren't perfect and kids can adapt. A return to the schedule the next day, or perhaps an even earlier bedtime to help make-up lost sleep, and recovery will happen. Unless you repeatedly give in to your toddler wanting to avoid the schedule you will not cause any lasting changes. I applaud your respect for your child's sleep needs, but an occasional change should not cause any harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-07-08T13:42:16.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8419" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-08T14:09:13.867" Score="5" ViewCount="881" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son (2 years &amp;amp; 9 months old) is starting creche, we've had some &quot;introduction days&quot; where we drop him in for a few hours each day to become accustomed to the change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normally he's an energetic - but NOT hyperactive - child, he rarely sits for long, always on the go. We do lots of activities together, he especially enjoys the messy parts of baking and loves to eat the food he helped prepare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However for the last few days he's come home from creche absolutely hyper, bouncing off the walls, and today completely sabotaged a cooking task we were doing. After creche he no longer seems able to listen, constantly grabs anything &amp;amp; everything he can reach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's exhausting, and worrying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been dropped in over the last four working days, lengthening the stay each time. This new behavior is more pronounced the longer he stays. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone experienced anything like this?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'm fairly sure this is a temporary change until he settles into his new routine, but obviously the fear is this won't go away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, should I worry, is it a watch and wait sort of thing, or will this just go away and we'll get our well behaved little boy back soon?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;It took 2 - 3 weeks but he settled down :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="703" LastEditorUserId="703" LastEditDate="2017-06-12T13:00:27.227" LastActivityDate="2017-06-12T13:00:27.227" Title="Two year old starting creche, completely hyper when he comes home" Tags="|toddler|daycare|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8420" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8421" CreationDate="2013-07-09T05:31:33.623" Score="3" ViewCount="24399" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is two years old. Before we went to an ophthalmologist just for a general check up we did not observe any symptoms of myopia. But doctor advised him to wear glasses all the time. This was very shocking to us because he is able to see objects very far away in the night as well, is able to point at stars even which are very dim and even I took a while to spot one. I am very confused how should I handle this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please advise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4525" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-07-09T07:30:13.137" LastActivityDate="2017-11-09T21:10:47.967" Title="Myopia in my 2 year old toddler" Tags="|toddler|eyes|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8420" CreationDate="2013-07-09T07:00:14.773" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had the same experience with my son recently. I feel that he has the eyes of an eagle; he can spot an airplane high in the sky, or a small insect in the air, or any little detail at home across the room -- his eyesight seems more than perfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But just like in your case, a check-up revealed the need to wear glasses. We got him glasses. He doesn't wear them. He seems fine all the same. But there is some science behind this that makes sense. The essence is that &lt;strong&gt;even good eyes can have small problems that are easily corrected early on,&lt;/strong&gt; but harder to fix in later years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Science:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The eyes can have defects (if I remember right, it's something with incorrect curvature of the lens) but the eyes' muscles can adjust for this, simply by applying a little more force to the lens to bend it right. This is why the eyesight seems perfect, but what we parents don't see is that the &quot;perfect&quot; is only achieved by muscular effort. Over time, the eyes can't continue this effort, and &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; the eyesight is reduced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By correcting this situation with glasses, the eye is conditioned to see properly &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; muscular effort. The glasses are often as low as 0.5 or 0.25 &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dioptre#In_vision_correction&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;diopter&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-07-22T21:10:57.240" LastActivityDate="2014-07-22T21:10:57.240" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8423" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-09T10:43:06.920" Score="7" ViewCount="5523" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter from a previous marriage was 8 when our son was born. Pretty much since the day he could move he has been hitting his sister with his hands or objects, biting, scratching etc. He is now 3 and she is nearly 11. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes out of his way to find her and 'torture' her. She will be sitting quietly and he will walk into the room and throw something at her head. He will find her wherever she hides. If she ignores him and leaves the room, he follows. As with many other posts I have read on-line, we have asked his sister not to retaliate, but to come and get one of the adults to deal with him. This certainly does not work. She has retaliated a few times over the past years, but he still continues to abuse her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also hits other children at daycare (although this behaviour is getting better and doesn't happen often, we have been warned by his daycare provider about it). He will hit other children with his hands or objects as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 3, I am sure he understands what he is doing is wrong, but he continues and he 'tortures' our two dogs as well, which I am very vigilant about. He will go up and hit or lay on the dogs, pretend to kick them, or in the past week, he has resorted to chasing them around the house - in a stalking way, not for fun... I don't want it to get to the stage where one of the dogs attack him and we have to get them put down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a real boy, very rough when playing, running around very 'busy' all the time, has to be constantly occupied. He is very loud, yelling into people's faces. We are loath to invite other children around or go to a birthday party as he hits other children. His sister told me today she doesn't like inviting her friends around because her brother hits them. I feel like we have tried most things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the past three years we have gone through everything: Explaining why this is not good behaviour, that it hurts, that hitting is not nice, putting him in timeout, taking his favourite toy/s off him, yelling at him in frustration etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't feel he is a special needs child or anything, so don't want to go down the diagnosis path, but we need some help... We are at our wits' end, and are not sure what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4527" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-12T12:18:34.170" LastActivityDate="2019-04-15T07:01:06.527" Title="How to make our 3-year-old son stop being violent towards his older sister?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|siblings|violence|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8419" CreationDate="2013-07-09T10:47:12.373" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a boy about the same age who has the same behavior when he doesn't do enough physical activities during the day. At the creche, does your son do enough running around &amp;amp; playing ? Because if your son doesn't spend his energy during the day, he will be doing it at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4154" LastActivityDate="2013-07-09T10:47:12.373" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8420" CreationDate="2013-07-09T15:37:54.393" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 3 and has fairly severe eye problems.  We visit ophthalmologists very frequently and we've seen many more than one for her condition.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you go see an ophthalmologist or an optometrist?  While the training between ophthalmologists and optometrists are very similar, ophthalmologists are also trained to perform surgery and treat more complex diseases and injuries of the eye.  The first stop for most people is an optometrist rather than an ophthalmologist which is why I ask.  My daughter sees a pediatric ophthalmologist who is further trained to work with and treat children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you question the doctor's diagnosis, GET A SECOND OPINION with another doctor.  If your son legitimately needs glasses, and his prescription is really a -5 then he clearly needs glasses and he needs to be wearing them regularly.  Likewise, wearing glasses when you &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; need them isn't really a good idea, either.  It could be that the doctor you saw was mistaken or wasn't accustomed to working with children.  Two year olds are extremely difficult to assess and diagnose because they're squirmy, they don't like having the light shone in their eyes, and they can't always give you a straight answer.  Find one who is accustomed to working with young children.  I marvel at my daughter's doctor who, besides using standard techniques to observe her eyes, also reads her body language to help him assess her vision.  Minute little flinches she makes that mean nothing to me speak volumes to him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-07-09T15:37:54.393" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8420" CreationDate="2013-07-09T15:50:50.227" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children's eyes are more flexible, have better contrast, and they literally take in more light.  There are some startling example photos of that in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.visualexpert.com/Resources/olderdrivers.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;.  Myopia doesn't mean you can't &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; things far away, just that they're out of focus.  Being able to notice something high contrast like a star or a person is not surprising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter got glasses when she was an infant due to side effects of her &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retinopathy_of_prematurity&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;retinopathy of prematurity&lt;/a&gt;.  Our opthamologist stressed to us at the time that while it may look like she does fine without glasses, if she didn't wear them regularly during that formative period, she could effectively go blind, and it wouldn't be correctable later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted, my daughter was much younger and had a more serious opthamological condition.  However, the only downside to wearing glasses is you have to keep putting them back on over and over for the first month or so.  After that, there are only upsides, so why wouldn't you want that for your child?  The doctor isn't guessing that your child needs glasses.  He can get the prescription nearly perfect without asking the child anything.  All that better/worse flipping of lenses they do is only for fine tuning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-07-09T15:50:50.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8423" CreationDate="2013-07-09T16:22:49.873" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Almost all kids go through a phase like that, although it's longer for some than for others.  We used time outs for our children, but we had to be consistent every single time, we had to recognize their triggers and catch them in the &quot;wind up&quot; if at all possible, and we had to teach them alternate ways to express their frustration.  In other words, don't tell him not to hit, tell him what to do instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most of our kids, consistently applying that process for a month or two was sufficient for them to break the habit, including a two year-old foster son who acquired the habit from a very violent father.  One of our daughters isn't motivated by time outs, and we tried everything else we could think of with no success.  It sounds counterintuitive, and bothered us to do it, but what finally worked for us was hitting her hand whenever she hit someone.  Since the other kids almost never hit her back, it didn't really click with her about the pain she was causing others until then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-07-09T16:22:49.873" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8428" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-09T21:33:07.103" Score="4" ViewCount="18974" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14-week-old has been a poor sleeper since birth. He was &quot;colicky&quot; for the first 7 weeks, so did not sleep well. Then until about 10 weeks, he was starting to improve: there was less inconsolable crying during the day, and he would start the night by going 3-5 hours before eating again. However, he never actually slept the full 3-5 hours, because he won't fall asleep nursing--he requires soothing, rocking, carrying and sometimes a pacifier to get him to sleep. After the first sleep stretch, he would go for 2-3 hours before a second feeding, but after that one he was restless and gassy for the remainder of the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, it wasn't great, but it was slowly improving. Then around 10 weeks everything took a nose dive and seems to be only getting worse. I think it is a combination of teething already (our first son also got teeth early), gas, and possibly continuing reflux that is contributing to the steadily worsening sleep. Also the three month growth spurt has probably contributed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been on Axid for several weeks, and it's not clear that it has helped; we are considering Prevacid, but it's not clear that reflux is much of an issue any more. I give Tylenol and/or Ibuprofen when it's clear he's teething, but that only helped a couple of nights. I don't eat dairy, and have tried eliminating various other foods--again, doesn't appear to have made a difference. We gave him Biogaia probiotics when younger but that didn't help; I've just started him on FloraBaby infant probiotics. He's still swaddled tightly, and often has a pacifier to help fall asleep, although not always. Have tried having him sleep in the swing, which seemed to help for a while, but not any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes to bed around 7:30 or 8pm, but then wakes up 40 minutes later to nurse (because I can't nurse him to sleep, so he's already hungry by then), then 1-2 hours later for the rest of the night. During the day he eats every 2-3 hours, and naps are not great, again because he won't go to sleep immediately after nursing, so he usually doesn't sleep longer than 40 minutes before getting hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, can he already have made sleep associations that I need to break? He doesn't nurse every time he wakes during the night, only after 2-3 hours, but he wakes more frequently and needs to be soothed, re-swaddled, given the pacifier, held, etc. If the frequent waking is due to pain (gas, teeth, reflux), then does that mean that sleep training wouldn't be effective? With our first sleep-challenged child, I read Weissbluth, Ferber, Baby Whisperer, etc., but I can't find anything helpful for this particular situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4530" LastEditorUserId="4530" LastEditDate="2013-07-09T21:40:51.693" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T00:57:37.947" Title="14-week-old waking many times a night: poor sleep associations already? can we sleep train yet?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4044" CreationDate="2013-07-10T02:09:53.037" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former nurse and mother of 5 I have to say that when my daughter brought home a leaflet on how to reduce the risk of SIDS I tore it up and threw it away.  She was a young first time mother and the last thing she needed if, God forbid, anything had happened to her daughter was to be given the impression that something she did or did not do was the cause.  There is no known reason for SIDS and that being the case it baffles me, as a former health professional, how they can possibly advise how to avoid it - in simple medical terms if you do not know what causes it then you cannot give health advice on how to prevent it and that would apply to any medical condition. You can ask your OBGYN or midwife about it as suggested and they can tell you the statistics but what they cannot tell you a definitive cause and there is no practical advantage to knowing how many babies die of SIDS. There is also a strong 'association' between breast feeding and lowered incidence of SIDS - does that mean the bottle feeding mothers are putting their baby's health at risk  and should feel guilty if their child is a victim of SIDS ?  Of course not . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4533" LastActivityDate="2013-07-10T02:09:53.037" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7467" CreationDate="2013-07-10T02:50:26.113" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children pee in the bathtub every time they get in.  Urine is sterile enough that it won't cause any problems...unless there is a urinary tract infection, it's nothing to worry about.  I usually just throw a washcloth over the genitals (if it's a boy - so far I have had two boys) so that they don't end up spraying themselves in the face, because that is disgusting.  I honestly wouldn't worry about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4532" LastActivityDate="2013-07-10T02:50:26.113" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8423" CreationDate="2013-07-10T02:57:00.363" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key to effective discipline is consistency.  Whatever you choose to do, react that way every time.  Luckily we haven't had too much trouble with hitting, but that's because we nipped it in the bud immediately.  Time outs often don't work, in my opinion, for hitting.  When our children hit or pushed, we would grab their hand and very sternly say &quot;no!&quot;  It was a shocking enough reaction that they typically wouldn't do it again.  But some children are more persistent.  Key is consistent discipline.  They need to know that there will be a consequence for bad behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise, if you notice your child restraining them self while they are angry, praise them for their good reaction...It's ok to be upset.  But it's important to know how to handle yourself when you're unhappy or angry.  Also, praise good behaviors constantly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4532" LastActivityDate="2013-07-10T02:57:00.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8400" CreationDate="2013-07-10T15:38:11.920" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can choose almost any short term strategy you like as long as you monitor it to see if it's a good strategy, and are prepared to change it. Babies vary and what was definitely a sign of being done for one baby may not be for another. Some possible short term strategies:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby is sucking more slowly - switch sides, jiggle her to get her interested, keep her feeding actively, after twice on each side declare she's done and move on to something else&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby has fallen asleep and her mouth falls open - even if she's only had one side, put her somewhere to sleep and leave her be until she wakes up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby opens her mouth and turns away - take her word for it and if she's awake, switch to playing with her or cuddling her to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the only strategy that's not a good one is &quot;it has been x minutes&quot; - especially since she will become a better feeder over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are taking her off &quot;too soon&quot; by following one of these strategies, then she will wake more often and be fussy and you will feed her again more often than before. This may also happen to you anyway when she hits her growth spurt - typically 10 days, 3 weeks, 6 weeks. During a growth spurt it can feel like you spend 30 minutes to an hour nursing, have a gap of that long, and then need to nurse again. This is just temporary, hang in there. If she's not scheduled for a growth spurt but seems to need to nurse more often after you adopt a particular strategy for knowing she's done, then adjust your strategy because she's probably not done. You can also count diapers - the pace of wet diapers should not drop when you start taking her off a little sooner - and longer term you can check her growth rate at the doctor's office. All of these can combine to assure you she really is getting enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your strategy is resulting in leaving her on too long the possible consequences are that you would get more exhausted (20 min of comfort sucking during which you could have been sleeping can add up if it's 10 times a day) or that you could get sore nipples (since she's not trying for milk her latch might slip) but as long as neither of those is happening, don't worry. Do learn how to nurse lying down, it can make a real difference to your energy level and lower your tension about &quot;can we stop yet?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the hardest things to learn as a new parent is how to &quot;read&quot; your baby - is she hungry? tired? lonely? irritated? Does she want it to be quieter? Or is it too quiet? Does she want to be rocked? Or not? And every baby is different. You will have to try some things and see which actions make things better for you all, and which harder. We can't tell you what she needs or likes, and neither can she. But you will come to learn it somehow. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-10T15:38:11.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8434" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-10T16:03:21.293" Score="9" ViewCount="841" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is sort of an exploratory question, as I haven't really been confronted with the issue (yet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been looking around for ways to get kids to do chores. I'm a bit put off by the fact that pretty much every source I can find suggests creating a reward system (possibly with punishments), and further, those rewards are often financial. It's my understanding that using punishment and rewards is bad because it basically makes the behavior contingent on whatever external motivator you've arbitrarily chosen, and thus the behavior will disappear when the motivator disappears (see &quot;Punished by Rewards&quot; by Alfie Kohn). And using money as the reward strikes me as a particularly bad choice, encouraging greed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nonetheless, the question must be asked: how DOES one get kids to do a task that &quot;must be done,&quot; but which is inherently uninteresting? I'm leaning towards &quot;be a role model&quot; (in particular, don't expect to offload all the work you don't want to do on your newfound slaves) and trying to get the kids to understand the reason it must be done anyway (e.g. dishes must be washed so we don't get sick). But I admit I haven't got any experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I guess my question is, aside from setting up a reward/punishment system, how can one encourage children to participate in tasks that need to be done, but aren't really fun/interesting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastActivityDate="2013-07-11T08:57:02.070" Title="How to get children to participate in housework without using reward/punishment" Tags="|chores|reward|motivation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8434" CreationDate="2013-07-10T18:55:00.017" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, rewards do not have to be financial. They can be encouragement, praise, getting to stay up a little later...anything&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, as adults we do chores not because we want to but because we know the consequences will be more work later in tidying up - children can be taught this from quite an early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they are very young they don't have that much of a concept of future, or consequences. They know that things are magically tidy in the morning when they wake up so what motivation do they have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our initial tack was to say that they had to help us with chores so we could all do the things we wanted when the chores were done. This way it was a team effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the age of 5 or 6 they wanted to do the chores, and then after that they could understand why they were necessary so they just knuckle down and do them while not necessarily enjoying them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-07-10T19:28:29.520" LastActivityDate="2013-07-10T19:28:29.520" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8434" CreationDate="2013-07-10T19:23:14.650" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I personally have a number of issues with Kohn's book, I do agree that &quot;do-this-and-you-get-that&quot; is a poor system, fraught with problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stance that we are taking with my son (who is still only two, but its never too early to start expecting participation) is that chores are things that just need to get done, and that we expect him to do those chores that he is developmentally capable of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, we're still at the stage where he actively wants to participate, so all that is necessary is to say &quot;would you like to help me feed the cats?&quot; or &quot;would you please put your milk cup in the sink?&quot;, and he (usually) eagerly helps out.  In fact, since the few tasks we've assigned him so far are very routine, it has gotten to the point where he gets very upset if we don't let him do his part (I once was in a hurry and fed the cats without him, and he was in tears).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For tasks that aren't as routine, there is sometimes resistance, and no doubt this will become an issue at some point with the routine tasks as well, once he gets older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In those cases, we simply tell him that those tasks &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; be done, because everyone has things they have to do around the house.  Rather than &quot;do this because we say so&quot;, we emphasize the consequences of not doing the chores.  Not in the form of threats, but rather examples: &quot;if you don't pick up your toys, then you won't be able to find the ones you want, we might trip over them or step on them and hurt our foot, and the house won't look very nice&quot;, or &quot;well, the kitties are hungry, and they'll be sad if you don't give them food&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also point out the things that we do around the house: &quot;mommy and daddy both cook dinner, and clean up the dishes, so we can eat each night and have clean dishes to eat on.  Mommy does laundry so we have clean clothes to wear.  Daddy takes out the trash so the house doesn't smell bad&quot;, etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he refuses to complete routine tasks, then he loses routine privileges.  If he absolutely refuses to clean up his toys, we put those toys away and tell him he won't be able to play with them for a while since he can't take care of them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also point out the benefits of doing the chores whenever incidental opportunities occur.  If my son can't find a specific toy we may point out &quot;see, this is why its a good idea to put your toys away, so you know where they are.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I firmly believe that financial rewards should &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; be a part of basic chores.  An allowance is not a reward for doing what you are supposed to.  An allowance is a tool to help teach financial responsibility and the value of money.  As such, if you do give an allowance, I would not suggest withholding it as a punishment (although requiring a small portion of the allowance going towards reparation for something damaged may be appropriate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, some small rewards may be offered for tasks that &lt;em&gt;are not routine&lt;/em&gt;, but which fall within the child's ability.  Shoveling the snow off of the driveway may be worth a few bucks.  Holding the ladder and handing mommy or daddy tools when we're fixing something may be worth a small reward.  One of my favorite &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2013/06/24/teaching-the-idea-of-trading-effort-for-money/&quot;&gt;blogs&lt;/a&gt; discusses this and other methods of teaching finance to children in great detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-07-10T19:23:14.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8437" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-10T19:59:43.447" Score="6" ViewCount="2662" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, so &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2642/what-techniques-can-keep-a-reluctant-pre-schooler-on-a-morning-schedule&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; question was somewhat helpful, but my son's problem is not &lt;em&gt;quite&lt;/em&gt; the same.  He is 5 and will be starting kindergarten in a few weeks (August 7th).  Right now, we have the luxury of taking our time in the morning; even on days that my kids go to daycare we don't really &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to be there until about 9:00 or so.  However, my son's elementary school starts at 8:15 and the kindergarten teachers have all ready said that they prefer their students to be there by 8:00 so they can put their stuff away, get settled, and start their day promptly at 8:15.  Realistically, this means that my son needs to be ready to walk out the door by 7:30 a.m. most mornings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His problem is actually &lt;em&gt;getting out of bed&lt;/em&gt;.  Once he's up and moving, he gets ready fairly quickly and I don't have to hassle him too much about what he needs to do, but getting him out of bed is really difficult.  The problem is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; waking him up, he wakes up most mornings by himself by about 7:30, but he does not want to get out of bed.  Sometimes he will come into my bedroom and climb into my bed--even if no one else is in it.  Then we play the hide-under-the-covers game/I don't want to get up game/I don't feel good game/I don't like the lights on game for the next 10 minutes until he finally drags himself out of bed, uses the bathroom, and happily traipses off to his room to get dressed.  After this, it's all gravy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thoughts on how to help him wake up and get started in the morning?  I understand where he's coming from--I'm the exact same way, but dealing with the situation as an adult is different from dealing with the situation as a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T12:36:36.583" Title="Getting a 5-year-old up and going in the morning" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8400" CreationDate="2013-07-10T20:14:03.433" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I poked around a bit on some of the links suggested by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/&quot;&gt;La Leche League&lt;/a&gt;, well-known experts on breast-feeding, and found some information that may answer your underlying question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On &lt;a href=&quot;http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?109733-Is-baby-getting-enough-milk&quot;&gt;their &quot;is baby getting enough milk?&quot; resources&lt;/a&gt; page, I found a link to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://normalfed.com/Starting/howeat.html&quot;&gt;useful description of the baby's eating process&lt;/a&gt;.  One part in particular sounded very familiar to me, and I'm sure I've seen it in other sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;those early, quick sucks get everything arranged in his mouth and alert your breast to release the milk.  Once your milk is flowing, your baby can’t suck nearly as fast.  That change in the rhythm shows that your baby is taking milk.  With each swallow, you’ll hear a whispered “kuh” sound –more of a glug for some babies, very quiet for others.  Most babies swallow with every suck or two during this phase.  Active feeding is a slower rhythm than“priming the pump”.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So a good way to tell when your baby is done feeding may very well be to just listen for a change in the sound.  Different babies have different eating patterns, and the volume of milk you produce should increase over time, so timing the feedings probably won't be very effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That same link also provided this advice, and while I find the animal comparisons a bit off-putting (I know my wife wouldn't appreciate being compared to a gorilla, dog or a horse!), I think the basic concept is sound:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do I know when my baby’s finished?  He may just drop off by himself, relaxed and loose-limbed.  But it doesn’t really matter!  Think dog, or horse, or gorilla.  If a gorilla Mama can’t reach that banana with the baby attached, she just takes him off.  She doesn’t worry about whether or not he’s full.  If he fusses, she puts him back on after she gets the banana.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So listen for the sound of your baby swallowing (I've found &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycentre.co.uk/post/a10547785/should_i_be_hearing_lo_swallowing&quot;&gt;anecdotal reports that not everyone can hear this, though&lt;/a&gt;, so don't worry if you can't tell just by listening), and when you think she's done, you can let her suck longer to self-pacify if you'd like, or you can try unlatching her and seeing if she is content to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-07-10T20:14:03.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8416" CreationDate="2013-07-11T04:12:21.613" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Medication noncompliance is an issue with about 70% of schizophrenic patients. There are a number of reasons for this, including:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lack of awareness (I'm not sick, so why should I take medication?). This is biological.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Denial (patient knows he is sick but refuses to believe it). This is psychological.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Side effects which doctors often underestimate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Delusions of grandeur (I'm all powerful so I don't need medication).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Delusions of paranoia (You are trying to poison me).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fears of dependency or addiction.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Perception of a stigma attached to the medication.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The medication removes delusions, and makes the patient feel less important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To encourage compliance, it helps if you can figure out what is causing the noncompliance. Some ideas to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The patient needs to understand why it is important to take medication. Try to tie it to a desired outcome. If you want to get to [go to the mall, hang out with friends, ride your bike, stay at home instead of the hospital] you need to take your medication to make sure your stay well to do that thing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pill containers with compartments simplify drug-taking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Medication can be taken via injection, which assures compliance to a greater degree - some injectable medications are longlasting and only have to be take once or twice a week.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure the doctor listens to any complaints of side effects.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bribery.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Meeting peers with the same condition.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Education - teach the child about the disease through books and videos.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Torrey, E. Fuller. &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=pPCwGufUH_oC&amp;amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;amp;dq=Surviving%20Schizophrenia%3a%20A%20Manual%20for%20Families,%20Patients,%20and%20Providers&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=myTeUaO9Lc-zrgGAhoGYBQ&amp;amp;ved=0CDcQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;amp;q&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients, and Providers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Francell, Terry G., Jr. &quot;Medication: The Foundation of Recovery.&quot; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/resources/personal-accounts/consumers/513-medication-the-foundation-of-recovery&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Treatment Advocacy Center&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://health.discovery.com/tv-shows/psych-week/videos/born-schizophrenic-janis-world.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Born Schizophrenic: Jani's World&lt;/a&gt; Discovery Channel Series&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-11T04:12:21.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8434" CreationDate="2013-07-11T08:57:02.070" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A blog I read suggested giving a task that must be done to the youngest child capable.  This is because than the child gets a &quot;big person&quot; job, and not the same childish job they have been doing for a long while.  Also, older children see their younger siblings are also asked to help out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children frequently are motivated by thinking of themselves as more grown-up, so if you cast it as something a big boy or girl has to do, and model that you also do chores, I think they are more likely to do it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3837" LastActivityDate="2013-07-11T08:57:02.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8441" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8453" CreationDate="2013-07-11T08:58:32.100" Score="3" ViewCount="6022" Body="&lt;p&gt;The baby (25 days old) produces wet/semi solid yellow stools once after 3 days. Is this considered constipation? Also, how many wet diapers (urination) should I expect from her per day on an average?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To keep this question generic please include age specific answers &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;with references&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-07-12T15:59:20.590" LastActivityDate="2014-02-21T02:43:12.113" Title="How much stool and urine production per day should be considered normal at what age?" Tags="|infant|newborn|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3128" CreationDate="2013-07-11T09:47:42.123" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Runny egg yolks are among the things my wife the physician avoids while pregnant.  There is a risk of samonella if the yolk is undercooked or if the egg is consumed raw (as in salad dressing, cookie or cake batter, egg nog, etc).  I'd stick to fully cooked eggs if she is willing to eat them for 9 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3837" LastActivityDate="2013-07-11T09:47:42.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8428" CreationDate="2013-07-11T14:51:56.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5232/why-is-my-3-month-old-waking-up-10-times-a-night/8252#8252&quot;&gt;your exact shoes&lt;/a&gt; with a 14 week old waking up even more frequently, sometimes up to every 15 minutes or twice in the same portion of light sleep. It was maddening, exhausting, and awful. In my daughter's case the frequent wake-ups were caused by gas pain (which did disappear around 15 weeks naturally), a poor sleep association with the pacifier, and a Moro reflex which lingered after the swaddle was dropped. As you know from having an older child the challenges of sleep at this age do eventually end, but it's a tough road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Causes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sleep Associations&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;14 weeks is right around the time, according to my pediatrician, when sleep associations begin to form. It is the beginning for some babies (others will start a couple of weeks later) of a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-4/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;major mental developmental leap&lt;/a&gt; during which short term memory begins to get a lot better, among many other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Mental Developmental Leap&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children have a very difficult time sleeping during mental developmental leaps while others don't seem to notice them. Do you see other issues such as feeding difficulties, a general increase in fussiness, more crying, and so on? Those signs might indicate that your child has a tough time with mental developmental leaps. Mine had a very difficult time as an infant. Several of my friends' children did as well. But others' sail right through them without issue. So the developmental leap may be a factor outside of sleep assocations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Biological Sleep Changes&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also right in the 3-4 month range there are biological changes to infant sleep. I'm not sure if you remember but I believe it is Weissbluth who talks about this the most clearly. You can find a brief overview at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babysleepsite.com/how-we-sleep/4-month-old-sleep-regression/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Baby Sleep Site&lt;/a&gt; as well.  Around now or maybe a little later you may notice that your child falls asleep faster - you no longer have that 20 minute period of twitching where you can't set your newborn down if you're holding him to sleep. However the partial arousals between sleep cycles become more distinct as the amount of active sleep decreases and the amount of quiet sleep increases (see the citations under the 4 month sleep section &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thealphaparent.com/2013/01/timeline-of-baby-and-toddler-sleep.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;). At this point his sleep associations come into play - he wants them and if he doesn't have them he'll fully wake-up and cry to get them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Too Late Bedtime&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also according to Weissbluth and the experts-by-experience, though not training, at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a199215/teaching_your_baby_and_toddler_to_sleep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Teaching Your Baby and Toddler To Sleep&lt;/a&gt; board, sometime between 7 weeks and 3 months is when baby's bedtimes naturally begin to need to move earlier. Bedtime, according to Weissbluth, must line up with a child's natural transition to nighttime circadian rhythms. Even with enough sleep a too-late bedtime may lead to overtiredness. I'd be concerned that the wake-up after the first sleep cycle has ended, 40 minutes into the night, is a sign that bedtime is too late. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Nap Problems&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The daytime nap issues will lead to nighttime issues. Daytime overtiredness can cause nighttime sleep issues. This age is very tricky for naps. Young infants this age are highly sensitive to time awake between naps being too short (so they are not tired enough to sleep through more than a single sleep cycle) or too long (so they are too tired and wake easily). Plus around this age many infants are dropping from 4 naps to 3 and are needing longer wakeful intervals but have trouble handling them. If your child is dropping a nap you can usually get away with 30 minutes to 60 minutes less total awake time during the day to help compensate for overtiredness. Make sure your child is not awake too long total - some 3 month olds can only handle 6 hours awake while others can handle up to 8.5 or even more. The total awake time includes all time awake, day or night. For more on fixing the 40 minute nap, see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6944/how-do-i-help-my-4-month-old-nap-longer/6973#6973&quot;&gt;this answer I wrote&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Solutions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Drop the Paci/Carrying/Rocking&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your pediatrician about sleep training methods before doing them, but if you think holding or rocking to sleep and the pacifier are poor sleep associations you will have to address them at some point via whatever method you chose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Earlier Bedtime&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might consider moving bedtime up by 20 minutes, holding that for 3 nights, and looking for improvement. Continue to do this if you see improvement until it doesn't help anymore or sleep begins to worsen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Fix the Nap Schedule&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that naps are happening with enough awake time in between for your child to be tired enough for a good nap (at least 2 sleep cycles or about 90 minutes), but not so long that your child is getting overtired. &lt;a href=&quot;https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/edit?hl=en&amp;amp;authkey=CPXE1bsO&amp;amp;pli=1#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This chart&lt;/a&gt; would recommend a 1.5 hour interval of wakefulness between naps at this age. Consider keeping a log and seeing if nap changes help nighttime sleep. At this age I also am more of a fan of basing bedtime based on total awake time and allowing it to move rather than a set time. This lets you compensate for a bad nap day with an earlier bedtime and avoid overtiredness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Stop Blaming Teething&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While your first child got teeth early and you know the symptoms by now, you may not know since you didn't experience it the first time around that this age is &lt;em&gt;prime&lt;/em&gt; for false teething symptoms. Children discover how to mouth things so they do it all the time just for fun. The mental developmental leap and overtiredness from poor sleeping cause fussiness. The ability to drool matures and extra drool happens even in children who are not teething. Plus studies are very conflicted on whether or not teething can cause sleep disruptions. If you are medicating your child against possible teething, with the consent of your pediatrician, I would blame other things first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Wait it Out&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Per the book Bedtiming, any efforts to fix sleep in the 4-5.5 month range will not work due to all of the developmental factors going on at this time. By 4 months if you don't have a good sleeper you won't until the developmental factors end. This is not everyone's experience whom I have talked to, but it was mine. We made many efforts to fix my daughter's sleep in the 3-5 month range. None of them stuck until she had passed her developmental changes and was mentally in a more comfortable place. If you find that this is the case with your child, there is light at the end of the tunnel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also since your child is not yet 4 months know that tummy troubles can persist until 16 weeks. Some childrens' digestive systems mature as early as 12 weeks per my pediatrician, but others take until 4 months. You should find that the impact of gas pains diminishes in the next few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-07-11T14:51:56.507" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8437" CreationDate="2013-07-12T01:16:40.790" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have the same issue with my 5-year old so I'm not too surprised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the issue is one of inertia. The child is comfortable so doesn't want to get up. My wife and I often play music to wake our little one up, sometimes we will even start a movie on a laptop to help her her fully awake and aware. Now, I know, waking is not the issue, getting up is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, usually one of us will pick our daughter up and carry her to the toilet. Once she's on the toilet we dry her and she's up and walking around. Of course, she is eager to run back to bed but we guide her to her toothbrush and to wash her face and by that time she is usually fully engaged and ready to start the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, the key is inertia - once you get them going you can't stop them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastActivityDate="2013-07-12T01:16:40.790" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8447" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-12T19:54:54.760" Score="2" ViewCount="6939" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is six years old, quite intelligent,grasps things easily, is really sharp at school really, good with teachers, and often very nice with friends. But he is showing opposite behavior to me; he is misbehaving, very aggressive, doesn't listen to me, says &quot;NO&quot;, uses bad language, shouts a lot, cries on the top of his lungs and doesn't listen to me even if I uses harsh words, slap him, or beat him. He also doesn't listen to his father, throws heavy things on others, especially on his 5 year old sister. He also beats his sister a lot, snatches everything from her, kicks her and says he doesn't like her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was 3 years old I was harsh with him. To discipline him I would slap him often and used to leave him at a relative's home (as i have to take my daughter to hospital for admission) and he feels bad about this. I think I can't reverse things now. But now harsh behavior is not working any more. Harsh behavior worked when he was 4-5 yrs old but now its just hopeless. i don't want to beat him or be harsh with him, but he forced me so much that I can't control myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why he is bad at home? What can I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4543" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2017-04-17T21:25:46.203" LastActivityDate="2017-04-17T21:25:46.203" Title="How should I deal with a 6.5 year-old misbehaving boy?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|violence|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8447" CreationDate="2013-07-13T05:41:01.320" Score="13" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Stop struggling with your child.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stop fighting with your child. Stop vying for power with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Control the things you can.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You decide what food you buy, where you guys live, which school he attends, who your family spends time with...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;You cannot control him.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot control his every behaviour, his every action. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Make yourself clear.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain clearly and concisely when he's lucid and willing to listen. Tell him what you like and don't like about what he's doing. Try to point out how what he does affects his life, so explain that hitting people will make people dislike him, not play with him, not give him things, whatever he would understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may not be able to do this in the middle of a tantrum or violent outburst. Wait, tell him later. He can remember what he did yesterday. Tell the story with him, explain where things went awry, and how he can do much better next time. He still wants to be a good boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Be a model for good behaviour.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be as peaceful as you can be. When things get too much for you, walk away. It's better than hitting your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Help the sister.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of beating on your little boy when he hurts his sister, and accentuating and accelerating the circle of violence and abuse - take care of your daughter. Pick her up, comfort her, spend time with her. When he's extra violent, be extra sensitive with her. This is a very strong yet peaceful message for your boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Slow down.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="815" LastActivityDate="2013-07-13T05:41:01.320" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8450" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-13T18:40:17.277" Score="2" ViewCount="665" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a huge number of pumps, as assorted varieties are coming up in the market. How to choose an ideal breast pump, which minimizes wastage, maximizes ease of use, portability and safety? Should one even consider &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4442/do-we-need-an-electronic-breast-pump&quot;&gt;electric pumps or manual pumps&lt;/a&gt;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Motivation:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby was born three days ago and we have planned to breast feed the baby for 2 full years. But the baby takes a lot of time to breast feed (more than 1 hour).  This is also painful to the mother's nipples, hence going for the breast pump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-12T14:28:18.097" LastActivityDate="2018-12-12T14:28:18.097" Title="Which is the best option electric or a manual breast pump and how to choose the best one" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8447" CreationDate="2013-07-13T20:55:26.277" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recommend the parenting books by Dr. James Dobson.  He is explicitly Christian, and suggests corporal punishment, which cause many to consider him a troglodyte and reject his views. This is an error. His advice in not religious, and corporal punishment is not central to his methods and parenting philosophy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a similar experience to yours with my daughter when she was young.  She is very strong-willed, independent, and confident. She was a great kid, except with her parents!  Dr. Dobson's methods helped us to gain control of her, and consequently allowed her to gain control of herself. She is now a senior in college and a motivated, self-disciplined, caring young woman of whom my wife and I are quite proud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dobson's book &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1414313632&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Strong Willed Child&lt;/a&gt;&quot; helped us tremendously. I can't repeat it all here, but can go through the high points.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parental Authority must be respected.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Defiance and disrespect must be eliminated and your commands must be followed promptly and without question. It all starts from this. Once you give the command, it must be obeyed or consequences are applied. Don't &quot;count to 3&quot;, or ask &quot;how many times do I have to tell you to ...?&quot;. When you tell Jimmy to do something, if he doesn't comply immediately, apply a consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't Act from Anger&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Correction and consequences must be applied calmly and without anger. Ideally, they are applied before you get angry, but if that ship has sailed ... take a moment and calm yourself before applying punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's about BEHAVIOR&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Don't try and manage thoughts and feelings, but expect the child to manage actions and behaviors. Don't punish your child for being angry; punish your child for hitting, for cruel words, or for a disrespectful tone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, what you are really teaching your child is self-control. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be Consistent and Predictable&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The rules and expectations must be clear and known. When rules are broken or expectations not met, you must act quickly and consistently. The child should not be surprised when placed in the time out chair after yelling &quot;NO&quot;, and it should happen every single time. Communicate with the child what the transgression was and what the consequence is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this requires thought, discipline, and courage. You have to have standard consequences thought out in advance, particularly if you aren't going to use corporal punishment. Parents have to agree and act in support of one another. And parents have to be willing to sacrifice themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2013-07-13T20:55:26.277" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8447" CreationDate="2013-07-13T21:19:29.853" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered trying to listen to his perspective and to understand what is going on in his mind and, more importantly, to understand how he feels?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to other things, the poor kid might be frustrated and not being understood, not being listened to, and being constantly told what to do. Perhaps his side of the story has not been heard. The book &lt;strong&gt;How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk&lt;/strong&gt; by&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Adele Faber&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;Elaine Mazlish&lt;/em&gt; discusses why not properly listening to kids can damage kids and provides guidelines on how to improve your listening. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Removing this source of frustration, if it is indeed the case, could turn the kid around, but I would also consider seeking professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-07-13T21:19:29.853" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8441" CreationDate="2013-07-13T21:28:53.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No need to repeat the good work of others ... Baby Poop 101 has descriptions, pictures, and tons of info.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-poop-a-complete-guide_10319333.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-poop-a-complete-guide_10319333.bc&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-many-times-a-day-does-a-breastfed-baby-normally-poop_8832.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-many-times-a-day-does-a-breastfed-baby-normally-poop_8832.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My interpretation (and 20 year old recollection) of this ... your baby is a bit young to not be pooping with every feeding. Make sure you are feeding for long enough ... don't quit when he fusses .. burp and get back at it. Some mothers are not able to produce enough milk, so you may want to augment with some infant formula before bed and in the morning. It is basically impossible to overfeed at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along with this ... some advice. Don't over-think or over-analyze. Pay attention to your baby, but don't extrapolate every funny look or squirm into something serious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2013-07-13T21:28:53.800" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8450" CreationDate="2013-07-14T03:02:23.833" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We tried both. While the nipple is the most intuitive user interface in the world, it can take some practice and trial and error between mom and baby to get in a good feeding groove. Adjusting the baby's head just a few centimeters can sometimes make a world of difference, so &lt;em&gt;don't give up on it just yet&lt;/em&gt;. After a few weeks, my wife (mostly) breast fed, while using the pump to store and freeze milk for use when she wasn't available to breast feed (e.g. while out, working, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have to be practical here - and getting a pump is a good idea. You're new parents, you're exhausted and the baby needs to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever pump you get &lt;em&gt;needs to operate as quietly as possible&lt;/em&gt;. Both manual and electric pumps make quite a bit of noise believe it or not, and you need one that isn't going to wake your baby as your wife is likely going to be using it nearby as the baby sleeps. It's not really a question of brand, but a question of how easy you can muffle the noise. Ask to see any potential choice out of the box and in operation - or the display model. Remember, you can toss a towel or something over the electric variety to muffle the noise of the motors, so I recommend them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing you want is something easy to clean and sterilize. Test how well you can take the washable parts off the pump and put them back on. Is anything too flimsy? Too difficult to fiddle with? Just look for quality like you would anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to let price stop you from getting something that will work very well - remember that you can pass this on to other family members as their time comes, so definitely go for the best overall quality that you can get. Just don't base that on a brand, don't buy unless you can take it out of the box and give it a good testing first!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2013-07-14T03:02:23.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8450" CreationDate="2013-07-14T14:35:14.357" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I would agree with others that you might want to give breastfeeding another chance (your local hospital probably has a lactation consultant on staff), there are many things to consider when making the choice of a breast pump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning to pump successfully can be just as tricky as learning to breastfeed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pumping is time-consuming. Baby sucks at a rate of 40-60 &quot;pulls&quot; per minute, and the best machines do 30-50. To be faster, you need a machine that will pump both breasts at one time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hospital grade machines (rentable) do the best job at imitating a baby's sucking which starts fast and then slows during the session. Some will even include pauses, as a baby does. The reason for this is that at the start of a breastfeeding session, your milk is thin and watery, and it gradually increases in fat content so that by the end it is quite creamy. Hospital grade machines are fastest but also the heaviest (5-11 pounds). They will come with a personal kit of tubing and cups to prevent contamination from prior usage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Midweight personal-use automatic breast pumps are usually lighter (up to 8 pounds), and they do almost as good a job as the hospital pump. Typically they cost about $400, they can double-pump, and they imitate baby's sucking pretty well. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Note that double-pumping increases the production of prolactin, the hormone responsible for milk production). Presumably, it makes the body think you need to produce for twins. This is great for sustaining breast milk over a long period of time as you are planning to do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Smaller electric or battery-operated units are only designed for occasional use. While relatively quiet and inexpensive, they are slow and can cause nipple discomfort due to constant vacuum pressure.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Manual units are very slow, but inexpensive and compact. These are best used occasionally.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shop for a pump at your local hospital. They have consultants to help you find the choice that is best for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You must keep the pump parts clean, which takes time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A pump is a personal item - don't borrow from other people. If you must borrow or reuse the pump from one child to the next, definitely replace all of the tubing which can contain bacteria or viruses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/breast-pumps/buying-guide.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Consumer Reports Breast Pump Buying Guide&lt;/a&gt; November 2012&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-14T14:35:14.357" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8437" CreationDate="2013-07-14T14:45:38.617" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like Valkyrie's suggestion of the wet cloth and DrJ's suggestion of music, anything that jars your child out of his sleepiness will probably work. A friend of mine had great success with juice. Just a sip or two of cold juice with its burst of natural sugar was all it took to get her daughter ready to face the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-14T14:45:38.617" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8450" CreationDate="2013-07-15T02:14:36.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Manuals can be good, but they can hurt your hand after awhile and be time consuming. They are much cheaper, though. You can also get milk out by hand over a large bowl to collect the milk. I had trouble with supply and found that often worked better than the pump, but it's quite time consuming and will really tire out your hand after awhile. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't recommend bothering with a cheap electric pump. I didn't really find that they worked very well for me at all so it was a waste of money. In the end I got a Medela double pump. I bought a special bra from Amazon that holds the cones in place which was great because I could read or something while the machine was pumping, or often fall asleep :P &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you don't mind the baby breastfeeding, another alternative is to get a good baby sling or wrap and just let your baby drink as she pleases. I used to latch my daughter on in a sling and do housework with her like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the beginning especially it can be good to let the baby drink as much as she wants to help build up your supply. In a week or two she will learn to eat more efficiently, you will be producing more milk for her, and the feedings will get shorter. Usually feedings are very long for the first week or two because you are building up your supply and after that they shorten. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2936" LastActivityDate="2013-07-15T02:14:36.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8460" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-15T03:31:30.040" Score="5" ViewCount="15485" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/799/how-long-is-breastfeeding-effective-and-worthwhile&quot;&gt;exclusive breast feeding for 6 months is recommended&lt;/a&gt; , Apart from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/799/how-long-is-breastfeeding-effective-and-worthwhile&quot;&gt;reduction of Obesity&lt;/a&gt;, I would like to know what health benefits does extended breastfeeding duration (2yr and beyond) &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;as recommended by WHO&lt;/a&gt; provide to both the mother and the baby? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2017-06-12T08:40:58.090" LastActivityDate="2017-07-05T12:29:38.530" Title="Does breastfeeding past age two years lead to better future health of the Baby and the mother" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7717" CreationDate="2013-07-15T04:02:19.180" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter will be 3 next week and we only recently started dealing with glasses with her.  Normally she wears hard contact lenses, but we decided a while ago that she needed glasses for when she doesn't have her contacts in--especially as her interest in books increases as she gets older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She LOVES her glasses and sometimes asks to wear them instead of her contacts.  Realistically, it's not always practical for her to wear her glasses as her prescription is VERY high and her lenses are extremely thick which makes them very heavy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HOWEVER...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's an odd sensation to have something suddenly on your face that wasn't there before whether you're 3 or 30.  At 3, he's able to understand on a superficial level that the glasses are to help him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If possible, involve your child when selecting the frames for the glasses.  This will give him a sense of ownership and hopefully he'll find a pair he thinks are cool.  It is easier to find frames for lower scripts than it is to find frames that will work with higher scripts.  My daughter had all of 3 frames to choose from when we took her prescription to get it filled.  Fortunately, she found a pair she liked immediately.  Talk to the optician who is working with you about looking only at frames that will work with your son's prescription.  You DO NOT want him to fall in love with a pair of frames that won't work with his lenses.  Most children's glasses are pretty low--my daughter is a definite exception.  Additionally, make sure they fit properly.  If they are constantly sliding down his nose or pinching the side of his head then he will be less inclined to wear them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When he takes them off (which he will), they MUST be put back on immediately to send the message to him that wearing them is important--especially since you say he can see well without them.  If he knows &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; find it's important then he will be more inclined to take it seriously.  This will drive you crazy certainly for at least a day and possibly more as he will probably take them off very frequently at first.  Don't nag.  Don't chastise when he takes them off.  Simply put them back on and gently remind him that he needs to wear his glasses.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If there is any other caregiver, he/she &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; be informed that if he removes his glasses they must be put back on.  I have found that grandparents especially seem to be more willing to let stuff like this slip. If your son attends daycare, the teachers don't always realize the importance of the glasses and might tend to let it slide as well.  Keep his teachers informed especially during the initial transition period.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach him that when he takes his glasses off, for whatever reason, he always needs to put them in the same place.  There were a couple of instances where we found my daughter's glasses lying on the floor where she had taken them off.  Once we told her she absolutely could not do that, we haven't seen it anymore.  If she takes them off, she usually brings them to us.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cardiff.ac.uk/optom/resources/Encouragingyourchildtowearglasses.pdf&quot;&gt;Cardiff University Eye Clinic&lt;/a&gt; suggests setting aside a special activity that you do with your child each day that uses his/her glasses.  For example, reading a story.  You sit down with your child, put on his/her glasses, and read the story.  If your child takes off the glasses, you stop the activity.  The point is to make a positive association with wearing the glasses.  You extend the activity or incorporate a second activity and increase the amount of time your child spends wearing the glasses until eventually they just get used to it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpnonline.org/CRS/CRS/pa_glasses_pep.htm&quot;&gt;website&lt;/a&gt; offers a few other suggestions like: incorporate the glasses into their daily routine.  The glasses go on first thing in the morning and are taken off at naptimes and bedtime.  Be positive and praise your child when he/she remembers to wear their glasses.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll probably find that the process will be much less difficult than you think it's going to be.  I'd be willing to bet that after about a week he'll be wearing them with little fuss!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-07-15T04:02:19.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8462" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8463" CreationDate="2013-07-15T05:14:50.997" Score="4" ViewCount="136" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sore nipples may discourage the parent from continuing breastfeeding.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;How to &lt;em&gt;cure&lt;/em&gt; sore nipples resultant from improper breastfeeding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-07-15T11:50:01.947" Title="How to deal with sore nipples resultant from improper breastfeeding?" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8462" CreationDate="2013-07-15T11:50:01.947" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important step is to stop whatever is causing the problem. If it is an improper latch, fix the latch. If it is a yeast infection in the baby's mouth, treat the yeast in the mouth and on the nipples. There are many causes of pain and establishing what is happening is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, to heal whatever damage is done the most important thing is to keep the skin dry. If you are wearing plastic-backed pads in your bra get rid of them. Very absorbent cloth pads are fine. Change them often if they are actually getting wet. Spend some time with nothing between your nipples and the air. I have read suggestions of 30 minutes a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can buy all kinds of creams and ointments and you can find people who will swear by many different brands and tell you that you simply must have this exact one or that exact one. Many of them contain lanolin and unless you're allergic to wool you will probably find that they do help a little. Vitamin E is also a popular (and probably useful) ingredient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, make sure you are getting enough rest and eating properly - both reasonably hard to do while learning to be a parent and coping with a newborn's needs, but we heal when we sleep, so if you need to let some tasks go for a while to cope with a growth spurt or to get over some pain or damage you have suffered, do it. You can &quot;catch up&quot; later on whatever you have to leave for a bit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-15T11:50:01.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8406" CreationDate="2013-07-15T13:53:56.393" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the US. Department of Health &amp;amp; Human Services &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/documents/SIDS_QA-508-rev.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;brochure&lt;/a&gt; on sleep positioning for infants:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Studies show that, during early infancy, it is unusual for a baby who is placed in the back sleep position to roll onto his or her stomach.20 However, once infants are more developmentally advanced, they often roll over on their own. In this situation, when infants roll over on their own, there is no evidence that they need to be repositioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatricians's Task Force on SIDS published &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/e1341.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;the following&lt;/a&gt; in Pediatrics in 2011 (emphasis mine):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parents and caregivers are frequently concerned about the appropriate strategy for infants who have learned to roll over, which generally occurs at 4 to 6 months of age. As infants mature, it is more likely that they will roll. In 1 study, 6% and 12% of 16- to 23-week-old infants placed on their backs or sides, respectively, were found in the prone position; among infants aged 24 weeks or older, 14% of those placed on their backs and 18% of those placed on their sides were found in the prone position.112 Repositioning the sleeping infant to the supine position can be disruptive and might discourage the use of supine position altogether. Although data to make specific recommendations as to when it is safe for infants to sleep in the prone position are lacking, the AAP recommends that these infants continue to be placed supine until 1 year of age. If the infant can roll from supine to prone &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; from prone to supine, the infant can then be allowed to remain in the sleep position that he or she assumes.  There is, however, no information regarding an infant who can roll over from supine to prone, BUT NOT from prone to supine. You should consult your pediatrician in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the take-away from these expert sources is that you should always place a baby on his or her back to sleep. Once your baby can move allow your baby to sleep in whatever position he or she assumes. Just keep the crib mattress firm, the fitted sheet tight, and keep items other than your baby out of the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2014-08-26T16:20:35.083" LastActivityDate="2014-08-26T16:20:35.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8460" CreationDate="2013-07-15T15:14:57.027" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding up to two years of age or beyond is based on the fact that breast milk is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bpni.org/information_sheets/IS-9.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;key organic source of DHA (Omega fatty acids), vitamin A, calcium and proteins and provides protection against infectious agents&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In 2008 the American Academy of Family Physicians said this in their &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aafp.org/online/en/home/policy/policies/b/breastfeedingpositionpaper.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;position paper&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between&#xA;  two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable&#xA;  regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding,&#xA;  including continued immune protection, better social adjustment and&#xA;  having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer&#xA;  women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast&#xA;  cancer. There is no evidence that extended breastfeeding is harmful to&#xA;  mother or child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://europepmc.org/articles/PMC1721196/pdf/v084p00F23.pdf%E2%80%8E&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Many scientific studies prove&lt;/a&gt; the point that longer breastfeeding &lt;a href=&quot;http://europepmc.org/articles/PMC1721196/pdf/v084p00F23.pdf%E2%80%8E&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;enhances the &#xA;neurodevelopment of infants&lt;/a&gt; and their intellectual and scholastic ability in later life. &lt;strong&gt;from one of these studies increase  in the IQ by breastfeeding is directly related to the duration of breastfeeding&lt;/strong&gt;. These benefits are strongest for the infants of low birth weight on breastmilk feeding. It is found that Poor who are more likely to &#xA;enter into child malnutrition are more likely to benefit from enhanced optimal breastfeeding &#xA;practices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;longer breastfeeding promotes suppression of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15384567&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;following Diseases and benefits to the infant&lt;/a&gt;  :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Enhanced stereoscopic  vision &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Neuromotor development&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lower chances of obesity in Adult life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/73/5/959.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Increase in height&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;suppression of gastrointestinal and respiratory infectious morbidity &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;suppression of atopic eczema &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;suppression of asthma&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Fulltext/2013/07000/Cost_Analysis_of_Maternal_Disease_Associated_With.17.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Benefits for the Mother&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15384567&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Weight loss&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lower chances of breast cancer  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lower chances of premenopausal   ovarian cancer &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;suppression of hypertension    &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;suppression of type 2 diabetes &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;suppression of  myocardial infarction    (heart attack).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;WHO recommends that breastfeeding should continue for two years or more without accurately establishing a maximum duration for breastfeeding.In addition, there is insufficient evidence on the advantages and disadvantages of continuing breastfeeding after two years.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://healthland.time.com/2012/06/04/why-most-moms-cant-reach-their-own-breast-feeding-goals/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;It is unfortunate that about many  mothers are unable to breast feed even upto 1 year&lt;/a&gt;. This may be because We’ve sexualized the breast so much that people have forgotten breasts are for breast-feeding. There is A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.upmc.com/media/NewsReleases/2013/Pages/study-shows-breastfeeding-reduces-maternal-health-disease.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Harvard Study which looks at both health AND cost outcomes for U.S. mothers&lt;/a&gt; if they were to breastfeed for 1 year.The study found that if 90% of mothers breastfed, U.S. women would significantly lower their risk of heart attack, breast cancer, and hypertension. On a macro level, further investment in lactation support for moms could prevent $17.4 billion in maternal health costs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many mothers have shared &lt;a href=&quot;http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/10/extended-breast-feeding-is-it-more-common-than-we-think/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;positive Experiences of extended breastfeeding in this article.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;Note:I am updating as an answer what I found on the internet.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2013-07-18T03:16:22.370" LastActivityDate="2013-07-18T03:16:22.370" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8467" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-15T17:03:19.250" Score="5" ViewCount="6616" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are new parents who would like to go for extended breastfeeding, in our case for 2 years. One threat we see to this is the reduction of breastmilk. I have heard from many mothers that their milk supply reduced towards the end of the year. Some of them lost it too in the first year itsef. How to counter this and what are some other problems and solutions that would help us smoothly follow extended breastfeeding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-13T13:39:00.230" LastActivityDate="2018-12-13T13:39:00.230" Title="What are good strategies to support extended breastfeeding?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8467" CreationDate="2013-07-15T21:01:33.880" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anyone who has nursed a baby for two years can continue longer without worrying about &quot;losing the milk&quot; or the like. The reasons for stopping nursing after two years are usually:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she is pregnant again and nursing is painful, or she believes she will get more sleep if she weans the toddler, or she wants the toddler to switch out of baby mode before the new baby arrives&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she doesn't like some aspect of nursing (either actually doing it, or diet restrictions it requires, or clothing choices, or how other people think about her) and feels that the baby has now got enough benefit from it so enough is enough&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;someone else is pressuring her to stop with the same &quot;the baby has enough&quot; argument.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example I knew of a grandparent who believed milk was manufactured during pregnancy and therefore at 2 or 3 weeks an infant was drinking old spoiled milk. The older that baby got the more desperate that grandparent was for weaning. I know many women who felt they were not sexual beings while they were nursing, and wanted to wean to be sexy again. And I know some fathers who want to be more involved and want there to be nothing that only mommy can do for the baby any more. These things don't apply to everyone, but they are very real considerations for some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After age two, the toddler is likely to be getting primary nutrition from solid food, and nursing is providing extra protein and fat (important in the developing world, likely plenty of it in the solid diet for first world children) along with a little bit of calm one-on-one time each day and perhaps some immunity boost. If you want to keep going, keep going. If you're getting some of that pressure from someone else to wean, you have several choices:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;blind them with science and convince them you're right&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;thank them for their input and do whatever you want&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't discuss it and don't do it in front of them and they'll assume you've stopped&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most families I know will nurse a newborn in front of anyone, but a toddler not so much. That's partly because it's something done at nap time and toddlers are super distractible. But it's also because slipping away to &quot;get you ready for bed&quot; and returning with a calm, pajamed, bathed little one is a standard end of day thing whether that toddler nurses during the bedtime routine or not. One side effect of that is that people who think you shouldn't be nursing will assume you're not. I'm not saying be closeted, just don't open the whole thing up for a community vote. Do what's right for your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-15T21:01:33.880" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8469" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8472" CreationDate="2013-07-15T23:05:31.577" Score="3" ViewCount="204" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our doctor recommended us to start giving fruits to our little (4 months and some days) little girl, since the mother will return to work and won't be able to breastfeed so freely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok, yesterday we started with apple, today with papaya. A very small quantity, in a very small (metallic) spoon, at room temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, she hated everything. We know that we should continue, very tiny little portions every day. But... does someone have a better procedure to introduce those new flavors and tastes? Any special recommendation about temperature, which fruits to give, or any other suggestion ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to clarify, the food will be smashed, like smashed potatoes, not in small pieces... and will be just one of the meals, with the other 5 or 6 of the day being breastmilk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-30T20:06:04.307" LastActivityDate="2018-08-30T20:06:04.307" Title="How to introduce foods to my 4-month-old girl?" Tags="|infant|food|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8469" CreationDate="2013-07-16T00:22:36.053" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It has me a little concerned that your doctor suggested that you supplement your daughter's diet with solids rather than pumped breastmilk or even formula.  I get that your wife is returning to work and won't be able to breastfeed as she can at home, but, at this age, all of your daughter's nutritional requirements should be met with either formula or breastmilk, and, solids, if introduced at this time are purely to allow her to practice the process of eating and become accustomed to new textures.  They will probably not provide enough nutritional value to her to replace breastmilk or formula.  While it's not unheard of to start a baby on solids at 4 months (my son started on solids at 4 months and was quite happy with them), 4 months can still be a little young for some children.  My daughter wanted absolutely nothing to do with solids until she was 6 months old.  Until a child is somewhere between 4-6 months old, he/she still has the tongue thrust or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.forbaby.co.nz/Stage-1/Baby-Development-and-Growth/Learning-to-swallow-the-Extrusion-Reflex&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;extrusion reflex&lt;/a&gt;.  Just because she's pushing food out of her mouth doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like it--just that she hasn't lost this particular reflex yet.  What this means for you is that most of the food you place into her mouth is going to be forced out and very little, if any, is going to be swallowed.  It is unlikely that at 4 months that she will open her mouth voluntarily for food on a spoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a long time, doctors recommended starting babies on iron-fortified cereals like rice cereal mixed with water, formula, or breastmilk.  It could be warmed to room temperature if you desired, but it was not necessary.  Doctors are moving away from that and simply suggest that you introduce new foods VERY slowly.  If you choose to introduce applesauce, feed your daughter applesauce everyday for 3-4 days (some doctors recommend as long as a week), watching to make sure she doesn't show any signs of an allergic reaction to the food.  If no reaction occurs during those 3-4 days then you can move on to introducing another new food like sweet potatoes or peas.  Otherwise, the order in which you introduce foods is entirely up to you.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;site&lt;/a&gt; has a very nice guide on introducing foods to babies, including the clues to look for that indicate that your baby is ready for solid foods (sits well in a highchair, shows interest in food, can close mouth around spoon, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very easy when babies are little to become frustrated with them when it comes to solid food.  One day, they're all about eating whatever you put on that spoon, and the next day they want nothing to do with it.  Relax and go with the flow.  Eating, at her age, is not really for nutrition so much as it's to experience different textures and flavors.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T00:22:36.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8469" CreationDate="2013-07-16T00:28:05.300" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fruits and vegetables are quite strongly flavored for a baby so young who has only had breast milk or formula. Usually it is best to start with cereals which are quite bland in flavor. They come powdered in boxes and you mix the tiniest bit into some breast milk, formula, or water so that it is quite runny. Once it is accepted, over time you can gradually make it a bit thicker. I would do cereals for a month or two, then start adding a little fruit or vegetable into the cereal before eventually giving fruits or vegetables on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T00:28:05.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8469" CreationDate="2013-07-16T06:42:25.320" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyledweaning.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby-led weaning approach&lt;/a&gt;. This approach begins by allowing babies to start tasting food, not mush or puree or some packet formula, while not expecting them to actually eat very much of it. We started our daughter using this approach at 5 months of age. At first, she ate mango, watermelon, tomato (with the skin removed) and kiwi (with skin and centre core removed). The key is to cut the pieces into a size that they can hold in their hands, and just let them do the eating. They can explore and learn to taste food, and will eat what they want, which typically is not very much at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first there is a little bit of choking as they learn to handle the food in their mouths, so you need to be attentive and know how to deal with choking, but very quickly they learn to bite off proper sized mouthfuls, to chew properly and to avoid choking -- often by spitting out the food. It really is amazing how quickly they become good eaters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from helping baby develop the mechanics required to eat properly, it helps them develop a reasonable good taste for food. It only supplements breast milk, and initially you do not expect them to eat very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, some common sense is required when trying baby-led weaning. Be careful about choking – checking the size of pieces, watching baby each –, but also realise that you don't need to puree anything. It really shows how amazing babies are at learning, and how much we underestimate them by pureeing everything. It's also much cheaper, because you don't need to buy formula or jars of pureed food (assuming that the baby is breastfeeding).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T06:42:25.320" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8473" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8475" CreationDate="2013-07-16T06:59:47.550" Score="1" ViewCount="5030" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have decided to restore to breast pumping and feeding through bottle to the baby (1 month old). My relatives tell me that this can lead to bottle addiction to baby and then she'll want to drink only from the bottle even when she grows up to 5 years of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What should be done to prevent baby bottle addiction assuming I'll be feeding her the milk through bottle till she's fit enough to drink through the tumbler?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T15:59:01.977" Title="How to prevent baby bottle addiction?" Tags="|infant|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2013-07-16T07:28:25.003" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think, instead of telling this parent why the TV is no good, as they are asking for help in activities, I'd say, get yourself over to &lt;a href=&quot;https://pinterest.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pinterest&lt;/a&gt; and search for toddler activities. There are loads of ideas, just pick something suitable for your little one's age range and abilities, and don't be afraid to get messy. :) Good luck &amp;amp; have FUN...&lt;strong&gt;together&lt;/strong&gt; :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4550" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2013-07-20T14:35:04.257" LastActivityDate="2013-07-20T14:35:04.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8473" CreationDate="2013-07-16T10:16:52.947" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think baby bottle addiction was much more of a concern before the advent of sippy cups.  There are many good &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/week-51/bye-bye-bottle.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;reasons&lt;/a&gt; to break your child of a bottle including&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dental hygiene&lt;/strong&gt;  Drinking from a bottle all day and/or all night can cause tooth decay even in teeth that haven't emerged yet.  Both breastmilk and formula have lactose in them which provides food for bacteria in the mouth and allow them to produce cavities.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Balanced diet&lt;/strong&gt;  A baby who is allowed to suck on a bottle all day is less likely to want to eat real food.  Not much of a problem now, but certainly as she gets older.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Development&lt;/strong&gt;  Plugging your baby's mouth with a nipple will likely inhibit their speech development, and a one-year-old who is holding on to a bottle will not be able to use both hands to play.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't want to create a bottle addiction only to have it transfer over to a sippy cup.  Teaching your child that bottles are only for eating and not allowing her to carry one around all day is probably your first step in preventing an addiction.  Again, not a problem now, but as she grows older and becomes more mobile, it can be tempting to let her carry the bottle with her.  Introducing a sippy cup when she's old enough can help to make the transition off the bottle easier.  At first, introduce it as a toy.  We would put water in the cup and allow our kids to just practice with it at first.  Our son had his last bottle on his first birthday; my daughter took her last bottle around 14 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, like I mentioned above, you don't want to create a sippy addiction or transfer a bottle addiction over to a sippy cup.  Some parents skip the sippy altogether and move straight to a regular cup.  My daughter was drinking from a regular cup pretty proficiently by the time she was 18 months old.  My son was a little slower--he was probably 2.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, the key is to more or less prevent access to the bottle/sippy unless your baby is using it for eating or drinking during a meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T10:16:52.947" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8476" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-16T10:49:34.020" Score="13" ViewCount="60088" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1-year-old baby has 8 teeth and enjoys eating chocolate very much. Some of my relatives have suggested that I brush her teeth with a baby toothbrush, but I am confused about whether a child of this age needs to have their teeth brushed or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is required, how am I to brush her teeth when she bites anything that she finds in her mouth. If I forcibly brush her teeth, will she spit out? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2018-08-18T14:19:53.717" LastActivityDate="2018-08-18T14:19:53.717" Title="How to brush the teeth of my 1-year-old baby?" Tags="|infant|health|brushing-teeth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8477" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-16T12:19:09.277" Score="7" ViewCount="13100" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it possible to minimize diaper usage for infants , are there any greener alternatives to diaper and diaper pads , one alternative is cloth diapers but for many its difficult to clean it , are there any innovative products / DIY stuff or strategies  that helps in reducing or preferably eliminating diapers or the chores of cleaning cloth diaper?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T23:01:27.543" Title="How to minimize diaper usage or replace it with greener alternatives" Tags="|infant|diaper|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8477" CreationDate="2013-07-16T13:35:24.503" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;An alternative I've seen is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gdiapers.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;gDiapers&lt;/a&gt; which are sort of a cross between disposable and cloth diapers. Basically, there is a reusable cover that go along with a disposable insert that fully dissolves in the toilet or go into the compost after use. On their website, there are many videos of the gDiapers in action including &lt;a href=&quot;http://youtu.be/Wh6-TZdtUjQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried them on our son while experimenting with what worked and didn't. We opted for full cloth diapers, but these would have been our second or third choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3356" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T13:35:24.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8476" CreationDate="2013-07-16T14:02:40.703" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our dentist recommends that brushing starts as soon as solid food is introduced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two types of baby toothbrushes: those that you slip over a finger (better for when they don't have teeth, 'cause they're ideal for gums) and specially-sized infant toothbrushes with handles appropriately designed for small hands to grip.  There's also infant toothpaste that's fluoride-free (when they aren't ready to rinse &amp;amp; spit, this is critical) that will help you clean their teeth.  It usually comes in child-approved (at least in this house!) fruit flavors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To brush her teeth, put a small amount on the brush and brush her teeth gently.  It's okay if she spits out the toothpaste, it's okay if she swallows it (so long as it's fluoride-free); the important thing here is to (a) get her used to the routine and procedure and (b) clean what you can of her tooth and gum surfaces.  If she bites the toothbrush, just remind her gently not to do that and keep working on it.  She'll figure it out and hopefully will come to see it as a pleasant routine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To add a bit of incentive for my two, we allowed them time to brush themselves, and then followed up with a bit of parental tooth-brushing backup.  And since we're on well water here, we have a very tasty fluoride supplement that they get to take after brushing their teeth; acts as a little treat for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for flossing, we use the little individual child flossers.  Our dentist says that flossing is a good habit to get into but not essential until their teeth get pressed closer together, so the 5-yr-old is a regular flosser and the 2-yr-old is a recreational flosser. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T14:02:40.703" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8477" CreationDate="2013-07-16T14:05:29.560" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In China, babies and toddlers wander around without diapers, only a flap in the back of their clothes, even in the coldest winter, in order to quickly do their business. Apparently, they can potty train from as early as two months (hearsay). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How could a nation of over a billion people be wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T14:05:29.560" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8476" CreationDate="2013-07-16T14:50:02.620" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers like to do what their parents do. So when it is time to brush the baby's teeth,  also brush your own. Put toothpaste on her brush, give it to her, and get to work with your own brush on your own mouth. Show the gestures you are making. Encourage her to do just as you are doing - exaggerate your movements as you do the back, the front, the back on the other side, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents also want to have a go at the teeth themselves to be sure they're really clean. If you're one of them, I suggest asking &quot;let me check&quot; and giving a bit of a brush everywhere in turn saying &quot;yes, this looks clean, and this looks clean&quot; and when you're done you can announce that &quot;we both have a clean mouth now!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A soft toothbrush, a fluoride-free toothpaste, and you modelling gentle movements (not wild scrubbing and jabbing) should ensure that brushing isn't actively damaging. That and making it a habit from the earliest age is probably all you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T14:50:02.620" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8482" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8621" CreationDate="2013-07-16T15:37:25.313" Score="2" ViewCount="272" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8475/2221&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8475/2221&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dental hygiene:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Drinking from a bottle all day and/or all night can cause tooth decay even in teeth that haven't emerged yet. Both breastmilk and formula have lactose in them which provides food for bacteria in the mouth and allow them to produce cavities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case the baby is 1 month old. I find it difficult to feed her with a spoon single handedly hence restored to bottle feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;She feeds for around 10 minutes every two hours per day.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What care should be taken to prevent the tooth decay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T22:24:35.817" Title="How to maintain dental hygiene while bottle feeding?" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8460" CreationDate="2013-07-16T15:43:09.747" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;An important thing which most analyses of breastfeeding studies that I have read note is that women who breastfeed tend to have higher IQs and incomes than women who don't, at least in first world countries. Because of the changes in lifestyle factors which result, it is nearly impossible to sort out what impacts on women and children are from breastfeeding and what are from better access to quality foods, better access to educational resources, and so on. This is even more true of women who breastfeed for an extended period of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the World Health Organization comes a &lt;a href=&quot;http://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/10665/79198/1/9789241505307_eng.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;paper&lt;/a&gt; on the long-term effects of breastfeeding - in general, with some studies only going to 3 months - dated 2013. The Skeptical OB has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.skepticalob.com/2013/05/world-health-organization-no-long-term-benefits-to-breastfeeding.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;summary&lt;/a&gt;. In the case of most health benefits that are commonly claimed to be associated with breastfeeding and even more with extended breastfeeding the WHO determined that confounding variables such as maternal intelligence, education, and income could not be ruled out. These benefits included a slight reduction in obesity, a tiny increase in IQ, and a small decrease in blood pressure. The conclusion is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Total cholesterol. There was no effect in the overall meta-analyses. In the 2007 review, there was a significant effect among adults, which is no longer present in the updated analyses. The UK trial of preterm infants showed a small protective effect (3), while the Belarus trial did not report on this outcome. &lt;strong&gt;We conclude that breastfeeding does not seem to protect against total cholesterol levels.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blood pressure. The pooled estimate from the high-quality studies indicates a small reduction of less than 1 mmHg in systolic pressure among breastfed subjects, and no significant protection in terms of diastolic pressure. Residual confounding may be an important problem. The Belarus and UK preterm trials found no effect of breastfeeding (2,4). &lt;strong&gt;We conclude that the protective effect of breastfeeding, if any, is too small to be of public health significance.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diabetes. There was substantial protection in the pooled analyses, with a 34% reduction, but few studies are available and their results were considerably heterogeneous. Only two high-quality studies were identified, with conflicting results (one showing an increase and another a reduction among breastfed subjects). The randomized trials did not present any results on these outcomes. &lt;strong&gt;Our conclusion is that further studies are needed on this outcome.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overweight-obesity. In the pooled analyses of all studies, breastfeeding was associated with a 24% reduction in overweight and/or obesity, but the reduction was only 12% in the high-quality studies. Residual confounding may be still affecting these results, because protection is not evident in studies from low and middle-income countries where the social patterning of breastfeeding is not clear cut. The Belarus trial did not find an association (4). &lt;strong&gt;We conclude that breastfeeding may provide some protection against overweight or obesity, but residual confounding cannot be ruled out.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intelligence tests. Breastfeeding was associated with an increase in 3.5 points in normalized test scores in the pooled analyses of all studies, and 2.2 points when only the high-quality studies are included. The two randomized trials also found significant effects (1,5). &lt;strong&gt;We conclude that there is strong&#xA;evidence of a causal effect of breastfeeding on IQ, although the magnitude of this effect seems to be modest.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most recent Harvard study referenced in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8466/2146&quot;&gt;the other answer&lt;/a&gt; also has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.skepticalob.com/2013/06/two-crappy-new-breastfeeding-studies-make-irresponsible-claims-of-benefits.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;serious flaws&lt;/a&gt; as reported by the Skeptical OB. As with other breastfeeding studies, the major flaw is that this study did not take out the confounding variables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After doing some research I have found two studies which attempted to separate out socio-economic status and educational status in the mother from breastfeeding status. Unfortunately neither measured breastfeeding duration over 2 years and both are based on the same group of children. The studies looked at a less than six month duration and a 12-18 month duration of breastfeeding. Both studies [&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20721986&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;] and [&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16251616&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;] did show the minor IQ bump, as mentioned above in the quote from the WHO paper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not convinced that all the benefits of breastmilk have been discovered yet, as it seems that something that is newly discovered and amazing about breastmilk is being discovered every year. However so far the scientific evidence does not support a significant public health benefit over the long term to extended breastfeeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The initial challenges to breastfeeding tend to be in the early months - getting the milk supply established, getting past cluster feeding and growth spurts, dealing with pain for the mother, the transition to going back to work, and so on. In my opinion overstating the small benefits of breastfeeding in general and extended breastfeeding in particular will not help families who desire to breastfeed be any more motivated to overcome these challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what the studies say, for some families there will be benefits to breastfeeding up to and past age two. There are all sorts of intangibles, many mentioned &lt;a href=&quot;http://scienceofmom.com/2011/10/31/breastfeeding-beyond-a-year-why-stop-now/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; that are backed up by experience, not science. Breastfeeding provides cuddle time with notoriously on-the-go toddlers. It may help with hydration during illness. It can be a tool for calm in the emotionally stormy times of toddlerhood. If extended breastfeeding is working, that's great. There's no need to exagerate the health benefits to defend it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T21:52:58.093" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8473" CreationDate="2013-07-16T15:59:01.977" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 1 month old can get food from a few places: the breast, a supplemental nursing system, or a bottle. By 4 months you could potentially introduce cup feeding or spoon feeding of formula or breastmilk, but not all children can do it. However during the newborn phase your child is &lt;em&gt;designed&lt;/em&gt; to get comfort from sucking on the breast or bottle. It's OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottle addiction varies from child to child. Some children, indeed, do not want to give up their beloved bottles when they are young toddlers. Others switch easiliy to a transitional sippy cup like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nuk-usa.com/all-products/learner-cups.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://nuby.com/en/nuby/cups-spouts/9644/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; or a straw cup and eventually to a tumbler. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that may be helpful in preventing a bottle addiction is to provide your child with other comfort objects: a pacifier now and a soft lovely at an appropriate age, for example. That way when the time comes to remove the bottle, my pediatrician said at 15 months but the recommendations vary, your toddler is not left without a source of comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When looking at how to transition my child from a bottle to a sippy cup I discovered that most parents use two approaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take the bottle away cold turkey and only offer sippy cups. Most young toddlers are upset with this change for 1-2 days and then forget about it. Long-term memory does not fully develop until speech develops so the transition from bottle to sippy using a cold turkey method will be easier earlier. We successfully used this method with my child at 13 months. I simply moved her from a bottle (which we had given her after I began weaning her from breastfeeding at 12 months) to a soft-spout sippy cup. She did not even protest. We made sure to make the transition during a time when she seemed to be developmentally stable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wait until the toddler is ready to give up the bottle. Many pediatricians and pediatric dentists would not approve of this practice, but many parents use it. If you do use it, make sure that your child is not getting a bottle after tooth brushing beyond when your pediatrician recommends. As your child ages limit bottle use to meal times. Under this method many toddlers will eventually express a willingness to switch, or you can encourage it by using one of the many tricks for older toddlers such as switching bottles with a new toy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T15:59:01.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8467" CreationDate="2013-07-16T17:52:49.313" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;For establishing a healthy milk supply, the first two weeks are critical. During that time allow your baby to suck regularly.  Infant sucking increases the number of prolactin receptors which is critical to future milk supply. Begin this as early as possible in the hospital, according to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/nb/nbjulaug05p142.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;guide&lt;/a&gt; from LLLI. During the first two weeks do not use a pump in addition to your baby's sucking unless you are pumping to cover expressed milk or formula that your baby is drinking. Early pumping may lead to a significant &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.llli.org/faq/oversupply.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;oversupply&lt;/a&gt; which can lead to stressful feedings and discomfort in both the mother and the baby. Oversupply can be corrected, but is best avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child loses a concerning amount of weight, usually 10% of their birth weight, in the early days and your doctor or hospital recommends formula, don't worry. In a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/260441.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;randomized trial&lt;/a&gt; early, limited formula supplementation was shown to actually help breastfeeding. However make sure to continue stimulating milk production when formula is given.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=insulin+milk+supply&amp;amp;ie=utf-8&amp;amp;oe=utf-8&amp;amp;aq=t&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;amp;client=firefox-a&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;News reports&lt;/a&gt; are also covering a recent study that describes the critical role insulin plays in establishing a healthy milk supply. Insulin disregulation can upset the milk supply. Also make sure to eat plenty of food - nursing mothers need 500 extra calories daily - and drink 1 large glass of water per nursing session, as well as drinking to thirst. Adequate rest, if you can get it, also helps your milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the first six weeks breastfeeding is a major challenge for the mother and the small, tired baby. It may be natural, but that doesn't make it a smooth thing. Being determined to breastfeed for six weeks unless your child is showing detrimental effects or you have a medical condition that prevents you such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babble.com/baby/breastfeeding-help-breast-hypoplasia/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;breast hypoplasia&lt;/a&gt; may help you get over these challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once your milk supply is established the next challenge usually arrives in the form of a mother's return to work. If you anticipate that you will returning to work, around 3 weeks post-partum you should begin pumping and also begin offering your baby a bottle 1-2 times weekly. This age is a crucial one for preventing bottle refusal later, and continuing to provide a bottle is also crucial. If you bottle feed in a manner &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding-tools/bottle-feeding/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;appropriate to breastfed babies&lt;/a&gt;, it will help prevent fussiness when your baby transitions back to nursing after a bottle feeding. Use the lowest flow bottle nipple, feed at the same time you would breastfeed, and make sure to pump around the same time to let your body know that your child needed that amount of milk.  During the time between when you begin pumping and your return to work you will need an extra daily pumping session that allows you to build up enough milk in your freezer to cover at least the first day of work, plus an emergency stash should one day's pumped milk be spoiled for some reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After your return to work there is a major rule to follow to ensure that you maintain adequate supply: only send to daycare or give to your child's caregiver as much expressed milk as you pumped the day before. Many mothers send frozen milk on Monday (freezing Friday's milk), then use the day before's refrigerated milk for the other days of the week making this process very simple. To continue building a freezer stash as needed you may want an additional before-work or after-work pumping session.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A challenge to breastfeeding here is ensuring a supportive workplace. Your workplace will need to provide a place for you to pump in private, a place where you can keep your milk safely in the refrigerator, and adequate breaks for you to pump. Ideally you will pump every time your child has a bottle, though some mothers find they can pump on a more spaced out schedule without issue. Many workplaces, unfortunately, are not supportive of pumping mothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next challenge to breastfeeding comes around the time of the establishment of solid food eating and increased mobility. Children may become uninterested in breastfeeding. Some mothers even report that their child &lt;a href=&quot;http://alphamom.com/your-life/postpartum/five-things-i-wish-somebody-told-me-about-weaning/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;chooses to wean at this point&lt;/a&gt;. As your child is his or her own person, there is nothing you can do about this. When breastfeeding no longer works for one half of a breastfeeding pair, it no longer works - full stop. Some older infants simply conduct nursing strikes, however, and you can continue to pump and lure your child back to the breast eventually. During this time make sure not to dip into your stash of frozen milk to feed your child unless you wish to begin weaning. If your child wants more breastmilk he or she will nurse more and trigger your body to make more. If you feed frozen expressed milk during this time you teach your child to get those calories from milk without telling your body to make that milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some find during the 6-12 month phase when nursing interest decreases and supply decreases that some formula supplementation actually reduces stress and allows a mother to continue some breastfeeding alongside formula. However since no two women are the same some may be able to continue just a few feedings in this timeframe while others will lose their milk supply with this tactic. You may not know in advance of trying it which will happen to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The final challenge to breastfeeding from a supply standpoint comes from mothers weaning themselves from the pump during the work day. While some mothers can continue to breastfeed when with the baby while not pumping at work, others can't. Within a few weeks those mothers lose their milk supply completely. However anecdotes I've heard indicate that pumping full-time at work until a year makes it more likely that you will be able to continue morning and night nursing with your child for longer after you do wean from the pump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throughout your breastfeeding journey with your child surrounding yourself with supportive people is valuable. This means during the newborn stage it is helpful to have people who understand the rhythms of a breastfed baby around you - long, frequent feedings - and aren't pushing you to let them give the baby a bottle. It means that if you chose to breastfed beyond when some consider it socially acceptable, you handle those people in the manner &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8468/2146&quot;&gt;Chrys&lt;/a&gt; suggested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do end up weaning before 2 years, LLLI has an excellent reminder in the book &quot;The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding&quot; that any breastmilk you have given your child is excellent. So no matter how long you make it on the nursing journey - way to go!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-07-16T17:52:49.313" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8486" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-17T01:45:45.513" Score="9" ViewCount="12546" Body="&lt;p&gt;One sterilization method I know of is putting the bottles and nipples in boiling water for 15 minutes.  What are other possible techniques to sterilize bottles and nipples?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the bottle package it is written that chemical sterilization can also be done. Please shed some light on this technique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T23:13:20.773" LastActivityDate="2018-02-14T11:03:12.550" Title="What are the sterilization techniques available to sterilize bottles and nipples?" Tags="|bottle-feeding|cleaning|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8486" CreationDate="2013-07-17T03:27:36.043" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/care/american-baby-how-tos/how-to-clean-baby-bottles/&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; Parents article recommends only sterilizing baby bottles once:  when you take them out of the package before you use them for the first time.  The exception to this is if you have well water you might want to sterilize more frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initial sterilization can be accomplished most cheaply by boiling water.  If you plan on sterilizing more frequently, many companies make electric or microwave steam sterilizers that are generally faster.  If you plan to only follow the 1-time sterilization method, washing in hot, soapy water and rinsing with hot water should be sufficient for cleaning the bottles thereafter or simply washing them on the top rack of the a dishwasher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or...you  might pick up a cheap used sterilizer at a consignment store/sale, garage sale, or a children's resale shop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-07-17T03:27:36.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8437" CreationDate="2013-07-17T07:48:28.927" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is only 2 years old but I am realy an expert child awaker. I guess its because  I am myself a late riser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have this toy dragon whose only purpose is to wake up my son. The dragon makes lots of funny things like jumping right into the bed and even calling my son a late riser and boasting himself being an early riser. This dragon is realy wild!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is awake but wants to stay in bed I suggest he says hello to his baby brother in the other room  or drinking a cup of milk downstairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="315" LastEditorUserId="315" LastEditDate="2015-09-20T23:37:10.673" LastActivityDate="2015-09-20T23:37:10.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8490" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8515" CreationDate="2013-07-17T07:48:57.037" Score="5" ViewCount="539" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 20-month-old son bites other children in the kindergarden. He does it in the course of play, and sometimes he bites me, too. The kindergarden teacher says, this is normal, it's just an episode.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make him stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2204" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-12T12:01:34.113" LastActivityDate="2019-06-12T12:01:34.113" Title="How to make my 20-month-old son stop biting other children in the kindergarden?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|daycare|biting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8491" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-17T16:42:02.847" Score="6" ViewCount="1015" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six year-old son has gotten in the habit of copying his little sister.  It feels like he is taking her behavior as cues to what is acceptable, but the act of copying itself (and usually amplification) pushes it over the line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, yesterday my daughter was singing quietly in the car, and my son started singing the same song, but much louder, much faster, and with some stated &quot;corrections.&quot;  First of all, that's upsetting to my daughter to have her song hijacked.  It's also quite annoying to everyone else in earshot, including being distracting to the driver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't seem to understand why it was okay for his sister to sing, but not for him to copycat.  Any ideas for helping him understand?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:18:54.610" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:18:54.610" Title="How to handle copycatting?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|siblings|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8486" CreationDate="2013-07-17T18:52:22.103" Score="7" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Boiling water&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Leaving bottles and nipples in boiling water for a certain time is the &quot;classical&quot; method for sterilizing bottles etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I found this &lt;strong&gt;relatively impractical&lt;/strong&gt; as&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it is very difficult to get the bottles out of the pot afterwords&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(I usually took clean (unused) barbecue tongs)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you have to put them somewhere to let the water drip off&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(I usually placed a clean towel on the kitchen counter and placed the bottles on it which needs a lot of space and quickly looks quite messy)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you need quite a lot of water and a big pot if you want to sterilize more than one bottle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you have to think about switching the hot plate of to prevent a catastrophe&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(and with a baby, you are easily distracted...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Microwave Steam Sterilizer&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So from my experience, a microwave steam sterilizer is &lt;strong&gt;much easier to handle&lt;/strong&gt;, because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you need much less water (maybe about 200 ml)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it took only about 8 minutes to sterilize&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you set the timer of the microwave and it switches off itself after sterilizing (and it is no problem if you forget the sterilizer in the microwave for some time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can leave the sterilized bottles in the sterilizer - no need to put them on a clean place/towel until they're dry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the microwave steam sterilizer cools down quite quickly (however you've to be careful not to scald yourself with the hot steam in case you open it directly after heating)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;only drawbacks&lt;/strong&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you should forget putting water in the steam sterilizer, you'll quickly melt and destroy the plastic material (happened once to us...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you need special equipment (steam sterilizer + microwave) which might not be available everywhere... a pot and a hot plate is &quot;standard&quot; equipment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were very happy with one like that:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babypower24.com/essen-und-trinken/vapo-sterilisatoren/reer-mikrowellen-desinfektionsgeraet-vapostar-13&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;reer vapostar&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(I'm sorry, I did not find an english page with it, but the image is quite self-explaining: you have a &quot;bowl&quot;, a lid and in the &quot;bowl&quot; a grating to place the objects on, to avoid that the bottles etc are directly in the hot water&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="27436" LastEditDate="2017-04-23T14:55:19.100" LastActivityDate="2017-04-23T14:55:19.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8491" CreationDate="2013-07-17T19:34:53.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is completely normally behavior at his age. I would explain that it using the golden rule.  He wouldn't want her to interrupt him and start singing his song even louder than him, so he shouldn't do it to her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2013-07-17T19:34:53.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8476" CreationDate="2013-07-17T22:04:22.243" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A gum massager has worked well for getting our kids accustomed to the idea of a toothbrush.  It ends up working like halfway between a pacifier and a toothbrush:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/dVQIT.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my kids were around 12 months we considered that (plus as-needed use of a finger brush like Valkyrie mentioned) was sufficient.  She can bite that to her heart's content and it'll just help in the cleaning.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my kids are a bit resistive about having their teeth brushed for them, and with my son especially it was a challenge to get him to fully brush &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; his teeth himself.  Both kids enjoy the children's toothpaste a bit too much, and will eat it straight from the tube if they're not being monitored!  So we found ourselves force-brushing more often than not, and it was just unpleasant for everyone all around.  The trick we found solved it was to get a gentle electric toothbrush, which added enough &quot;fun&quot; to get him to willingly brush each of his teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my daughter, the thing that makes it fun for her is to tell her about different fruits that are &quot;stuck&quot; in her teeth, and that require certain techniques and numbers of strokes to get them out.  Probably lots of variations on this idea, to tailor to your child's interests...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, my theory is to keep it fun so they associate teeth brushing with positive experiences, and thus will be more self-motivated to manage the task at an earlier age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastEditorUserId="2849" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T19:30:07.687" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T19:30:07.687" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8486" CreationDate="2013-07-17T22:59:55.323" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've gotten by with two children using soap, bottle brush, and water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the main risk for contamination is in handling raw foods, meats and vegetables. Make sure to clean your hands, counter tops, and put away contaminated wash cloths after handling raw foods and before you touch baby's food, bottle, or nipple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="807" LastActivityDate="2013-07-17T22:59:55.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8497" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8498" CreationDate="2013-07-18T13:57:15.443" Score="14" ViewCount="448" Body="&lt;p&gt;While on vacation my family and I were at a store and my 4 year old daughter had picked up a toy and placed it on the checkout belt.  At this time we did not notice the toy and proceeded to checkout and leave the store.  While driving down the road my daughter had requested such toy, a stuffed animal.  When my wife and I were discussing with my daughter that we did not buy such toy she proceeded to say we did.  When we searched the bags we noticed the toy and said where did this come from?  My daughter said she placed it on the conveyor belt.  When we asked her why not ask us she said she knew we would say no and she wanted it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I teach her in this situation that this is bad?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is this considered stealing in a way and she we teach my daughter?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is an acceptable form of punishment?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should we keep the toy and allow her to receive it when she is good or does that have any bad effect with the incident involved?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4556" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2013-07-18T18:23:20.873" LastActivityDate="2013-07-24T00:51:42.917" Title="How to positively teach a toddler dishonest actions are bad" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|rules|morals|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8497" CreationDate="2013-07-18T17:03:14.653" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, my recommendation would be the toy goes away.  Just because it was paid for doesn't mean it isn't stealing; she stole from you instead of the store.  Keeping the toy implies that the offense wasn't all THAT severe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with punishment here is that the time frame between the offense and the punishment might be kind of long for it to really have an effect. Kids' sense of time differs from ours. Maybe having her dispose of the toy herself (take it to a charity store, maybe) will help her see that she doesn't get to keep things not obtained with parental permission?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for this 'I want something but I know you will say 'no' so I'm going to get it anyway' issue, does she have a method to earn stars/points/allowance/whatever that she can use on getting the toys she wants?  If not, maybe having a system where she can get x toy if she has y stars for performing z tasks will help her learn to delay gratification.  Once we started using a star system (eat your veggies, get 2 stars; clean up your toys, get 1; share with your brother, get 5, etc.) our 5-yr-old got much better at waiting for enough stars to get the toys she wants.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-07-18T17:03:14.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8499" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-19T02:54:36.340" Score="1" ViewCount="267" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have read  various articles that promote breast milk as a cure for many infant problems like diaper rash, red eye, sores and mother problems like sore nipples, injuries etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the scientific evidence for such use of breast milk? Wouldn't it become a breeding ground for bacteria if applied to skin for a diaper rash? Have any parents used it in that way and what are their experiences? Does it work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-13T13:44:40.573" LastActivityDate="2018-12-13T13:44:40.573" Title="What's the effectiveness of alternative uses of breast milk?" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|research|diaper-rash|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8497" CreationDate="2013-07-19T10:40:28.927" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I woudn't allow the girl to have the toy, but I would not do a big deal of it. I fact, what I try myself is to reduce a lot the kids and parent's dependency on toys. For example, I may get inside toy shops with my kid and &quot;just watch&quot;, not buying anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I rarely buy toys myself and wish my wife would follow my lead on this. When I bring a toy, it is almost always a box of Lego.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Howver, I often try to build some &quot;toys&quot;, for example a bow and some arrows from random wooden sticks found in the wild. I prefer my kid to build his toys himself, and in fact he can play hours with sticks he found himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the same vein (not really answering, sorry): if you go to the beach with plastic buckets and other things, your kids will fight to have the bigger ones, or just &quot;that one&quot;. If you go with nothing, kids will dig the sand barehands, will fight less but will not enjoy less their time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-07-19T10:40:28.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8490" CreationDate="2013-07-19T10:44:15.880" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mine did the same and I didn't let him bite me or anyone else, and he was sent to the naughty corner immediately, even if it was &quot;just for the fun&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a friend who had really big issues with this and nearly got a legal issue for his girl biting to the blood the cheek of another girl at school. It stopped eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-07-19T10:44:15.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8490" CreationDate="2013-07-19T12:02:07.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used the exaggeration of consequences treatment with our son when he went through this.  A huge and loud &quot;OW! That hurts!&quot; followed by an immediate time-out addressed the situation at home in just a few iterations.  He has never bitten anyone other than me or his father, though; he started with us when he was just over 15 months, and I'm guessing he didn't like the consequences enough to try it with anyone else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 20 months they aren't exactly SWARMING with empathy but they do have the rudiments, so maybe you could try something similar?  If he bites, make a big deal about how much it hurts (don't roar in an angry way; roar in a pained way); if you can manufacture a few tears or at least a very wounded, sad expression, that might help him with grasping the 'oh wow, I guess not everyone enjoys this as much as I do' part of biting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like his teachers aren't making a big deal out of this; can you speak with them and come up with a disciplinary structure that works for all of you?  For example, when the children in my son's class act up (he's now 27 mths), they get to spend a timeout in the Cozy Corner (I swear that doesn't sound like a punishment to me at all (nap!) but I can see how being isolated from the rest of your peers while they play would be a punishment).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-07-19T12:02:07.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6042" CreationDate="2013-07-20T01:57:33.900" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the author of &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.experimentingwithbabies.com&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Experimenting With Babies: 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, which I hope you'll check out.  The book takes published academic studies in various fields of child development -- primitive reflexes, motor skills, cognitive development, language development, social/emotional development, and more -- and adapts them so parents can perform them at home on their own baby, with no special equipment needed.  You'll learn how to perform some famous time-tested experiments, as well as new experiments that are adapted from very recent research. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below is an example of the type of experiment you'll find in the book.  It's based on a November 2011 study that deals with perception and cognitive development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The experiment&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perform this experiment when your baby is between 13 and 15 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For this experiment, you'll need two adults: one to participate in the experiment and one to observe it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have one adult sit at a table on which two similar-looking toys are placed, one to his left and one to his right, and place your baby in a high chair opposite him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, you'll perform four 15-second sequences, each separated by a pause of about 15 seconds. For each sequence, the observer should keep track of which of the two toys your baby looks at longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) The adult should turn his head and gaze toward one of the toys for about 15 seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) The adult should repeat the action, gazing toward the same toy for another 15 seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) The adult should place his hand between the two toys and stare at the hand for 15 seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) The adult should exit the room, leaving the two toys undisturbed on the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The hypothesis&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the first and second sequences, your baby will look longer at the toy the adult gazes toward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the third sequence, she will continue to look longer at the toy the adult gazed toward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the fourth sequence, she will look slightly longer at the other toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The research&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a 2011 study, 14-month-old babies were shown video clips in which an adult gazed toward one of two toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, one group of the babies was shown a video clip in which the adult stared at her hand, rather than either of the toys, while another group was shown a video clip in the toys were present but the adult was not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study found that the babies in the first group looked much longer at the toy the adult had previously gazed toward, but the babies in the second group looked slightly longer at the other toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study's author says the results support the idea that 14-month-olds form an association between a person and an object after having seen the person gazing at the object, because the babies preferentially looked at the object even after the person had stopped gazing at it -- but only while the adult was still in close proximity to the object.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;The study&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paulus, Markus. &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22010890&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How infants relate looker and object: evidence for a perceptual learning account of gaze following in infancy&lt;/a&gt;,&quot; Developmental Science 14:6:1301-1310, November 2011.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4562" LastEditorUserId="4562" LastEditDate="2013-07-20T13:10:23.300" LastActivityDate="2013-07-20T13:10:23.300" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8506" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-07-20T11:01:00.433" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-07-20T11:01:00.433" LastActivityDate="2013-07-20T11:01:00.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8507" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-07-20T11:01:00.433" Score="0" Body="Diaper rash is a common form of inflamed skin (dermatitis) that appears as a patchwork of bright red skin on your baby's bottom." OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2013-07-20T14:34:30.207" LastActivityDate="2013-07-20T14:34:30.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4367" CreationDate="2013-07-22T16:10:31.190" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had very dry skin and cradle cap, leaving it alone wasn't really an option since she was in obvious discomfort and constantly scratching the dry skin. It was disrupting her sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solution was bath in the morning and bath at night and using a moisturizing cream called CeraVe (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cerave.com/our-products/moisturizers/moisturizing-cream&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cerave.com/our-products/moisturizers/moisturizing-cream&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't what we really wanted to do, but since the skin issues have subsided she's become a much happier baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3571" LastActivityDate="2013-07-22T16:10:31.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8406" CreationDate="2013-07-22T18:45:32.020" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We also tried a product called a Safe T Sleep which basically velcroes the baby into place in his/her crib. We used it because our 4 month old son ends up spinning himself around in the crib (not rolling over) and kicking the sides of the crib and waking himself up. It works great and I think the fact that it prevents him from moving around so much helps him sleep more soundly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4570" LastActivityDate="2013-07-22T18:45:32.020" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8428" CreationDate="2013-07-22T19:49:29.727" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had some similar troubles and our son is around 4 months right now and is now pretty reliably sleeping through the night. Our big changes that seemed to help were: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Moving bedtime earlier&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I think he was getting overtired and so he just wouldn't sleep well once he got to that point.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Transitioning away from swaddle&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;At a certain point, I think it was actually starting to hurt his sleep because he was fighting so hard to squirm out of it. We started using this thing called a zipadeezip that's basically like a little baby sleeping bag. It's a step between the swaddle and the sleep sacks.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Giving a dream feed&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;We start his bedtime routine around 7 p.m. now so when we're ready to go to bed around 10 p.m., we wake him up to give him a bottle which he's barely awake for and that seems to help him sleep through the night until about 5 a.m.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Doing a bedtime routine to wind him down&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;You didn't mention if you have a set bedtime routine but if not, it's not too early to introduce one and it really helps our son know it's bedtime. Once we put him in the bath, I think he gets that he's headed toward bed. We do a bottle, give him a bath, put him in his PJs and zipadeezip, give him a little bit more bottle if he's still hungry and then either read him a story or sing to him. And, we also put him to bed still kind of awake but groggy. He puts himself to sleep most times. We don't let him cry it out or anything, but by starting early w/ putting him down awake, he's learned to self soothe pretty well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4570" LastActivityDate="2013-07-22T19:49:29.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8490" CreationDate="2013-07-23T13:15:37.577" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is completely normal at 20 months. Your daycare should have a strategy to remind him that he doesn't bite and distract him and to also look out for situations in which he is likely to bite in order to avoid them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, if he bites you, I'd say &quot;ow that hurt. teeth are for eating.&quot; If you are holding your child when they bite, I'd put them down for a minute. I'd also be careful to avoid any 'play' biting which can be confusing to toddlers. Just always be consistent in your response, and try not to be overly emotional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2030" LastActivityDate="2013-07-23T13:15:37.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2013-07-23T15:21:21.613" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your toddler needs to learn the value of self-directed, independent play. Contrary to the belief of many parents, such play is possible. It may, however, take a form a little different than you expect and it will still require your effort. Magda Gerber and her &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rie.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Resources for Infant Educarers&lt;/a&gt; really provide an invaluable framework for encouraging self-directed play from early infancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by just staying out of his play a little bit. Set up a game and see what he does with it. You can see some suggestions for doing this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/08/solo-engagement-fostering-your-toddlers-independent-play/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. What you want to do is engage verbally rather than actually taking over. Ask questions. Encourage. Intervene before frustration causes a meltdown. However provide some space for your toddler's own abilities and interests to direct things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find three rules for fostering independent play in toddlers &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/05/stop-entertaining-your-toddler-in-3-steps-2/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. The three rules are fleshed out at that link, but they are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Learn a less intrusive way to play together [that described above in this answer].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Set limits with confidence, honesty and respect&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage play that is as mind-active as possible&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://alivingfamily.com/2012/02/07/tips-for-encouraging-independent-play-with-toddlers/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is another list of tips to encourage independent play:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Choose an activity that is developmentally appropriate for and of some interest to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider your own mental and emotional attitude when choosing materials. [How much of a mess can you handle?]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Create an appropriate amount and type of space to do what is necessary along with a helpful amount of containment to keep the mess to a sane level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage confidence, creativity, and curiosity when you do play together with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk with your child about feelings, especially frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find further suggestions for becoming a low-intervention parent &lt;a href=&quot;http://lovingearthmama.com/2012/10/03/fostering-self-directed-play-ten-tips-to-help-pre-schoolers-entertain-themselves/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. One important point that the linked post makes is that sometimes toddlers will flit from thing to thing. But the idea is to have the toddler be in charge of what he or she is doing - within reason and family rules - so that your toddler learns to be self-entertaining and self-directed within play. That skill will eventually foster long-periods of indepdent play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you get discouraged, remember that there are a lot of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/11/7-myths-that-discourage-independent-play/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;myths&lt;/a&gt; out there discouraging indepdent play. Don't buy into them. The process of retraining yourself and your toddler towards a less-parent-directed play will take time, but it is well worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-07-23T15:21:21.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8497" CreationDate="2013-07-24T00:51:42.917" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not call this stealing. This is a 4-year-old trying to figure out how the world works. This is an opportunity to teach, not punish. There was no maliciousness involved. She knew if she asked, you would say no, so she tried the next logical thing. This is dishonest, but at a level appropriate to a 4-year-old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would have a conversation with her about how we have to ask to buy things, and how sometimes the answer will be yes and sometimes it will be no, but Mom and Dad need to make the decision until she is old enough to have her own money. Perhaps now is a time to start giving her her own money (maybe she even has some already in a piggy bank?) for chores or for allowance. Or you could create a chart of chores where she could earn stars to buy the toy in question. Until then the toy stays on a shelf.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To call this stealing or to take the toy back to the store in some obvious way will create a feeling of shame, and shame is not a source of good learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-24T00:51:42.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8518" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-24T05:36:37.563" Score="9" ViewCount="8533" Body="&lt;p&gt;The 4 year old will often engage herself in adult (&lt;em&gt;age not content&lt;/em&gt;) conversations. While it doesn't specifically bother us, we actually find it amusing, it could pose a problem when dealing with others. She is one to ask many questions and does well to comprehend the answers. For the record, we have adult content conversation in private.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If possible, we'd like for the result to be that she feel comfortable to have conversation with us, but recognize that she may not be welcome to conversations that are being held by other adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="452" LastActivityDate="2014-08-27T04:27:10.863" Title="How should I deal with a child who intrudes on adult conversations?" Tags="|habits|manners|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8519" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8527" CreationDate="2013-07-24T06:53:34.277" Score="16" ViewCount="629" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a friend who has children who are suffering an abusive situation with his ex-wife where she is physically, emotionally and verbally abusing their children.  The situation is such that the school has observed bruises and cuts on the children, however when the state children's agency interviewed the parent in question, the parent expertly pushed blame on the children and said it was from their fighting with one another.  No further investigation was pursued to the utter dismay of both the children and the father and his family.  It is a very frustrating and difficult situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It turns out that this is going to court and the father is desirous to find some additional support / research material revolving around the importance of adolescence males being with their father versus the mother (as the children are teenagers).  The entire situation is such that the children plead on a daily basis to be removed from their environment.  Notwithstanding, there is a great degree of fear from the negative state children's agency and knowledge that the court in this particular area is very pro-mother and frequently disregards the children's desires and true needs, defaulting on the side of the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any successful strategies, even if anecdotal, for these scenarios?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.today.com/id/26184891/vp/41271159#41271159&quot;&gt;an interesting discussion on the Today Show&lt;/a&gt; (January 26, 2011, &lt;em&gt;Dr. Charles Sophy &amp;amp; Joanna Ball&lt;/em&gt;), but no real reference to the research to which this was referring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice and / or research would be very much appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*NOTE: This is not a request for legal advice.  This is simply a request for information that can be found to help such a case.  The legal advice itself is being provided by attorneys.  He is just in search for any additional information to help strengthen the children's positions and his position such that the court will have a body of additional information to consider if push comes to shove.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4380" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-11T12:06:16.877" LastActivityDate="2019-07-11T12:06:16.877" Title="Relevant research to support father custody for children?" Tags="|teen|divorce|abuse|research|custody|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8518" CreationDate="2013-07-24T08:40:50.110" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is good that you are bothered by this. Too many parents say stuff which then gets repeated in playgrounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just say &quot;We're having a grown up conversation, which isn't for your ears.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fairness, this normally makes our child retreat to a safe distance that is still within earshot, because kids are like that. Then we opt for the only real solution, which is to have the conversation when they are not around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, with regards to other adults, I am not sure what you are getting at. If you are worried that she will be answering back to teachers, then that is something the teacher will soon deal with. If you are worried about friends or relatives, then they will probably find it as charming as you do. Kids ask lots of questions. Its what they do. One of the great pleasures of my life today is seeing our youngest child pester her big brother with lots of questions. Now he knows what its like!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bottom line is this: provided you teach her good manners, such as not speaking when somebody else is speaking, and asking if its ok to interupt a conversation, then there isn't really a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-07-24T08:40:50.110" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8518" CreationDate="2013-07-24T11:18:09.053" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our kids interrupt a conversation, one of us squats down to eye level, places a hand on each side of the child's face, and says, &quot;Is it urgent?&quot; (If not) &quot;Please let us finish and you will have my attention.&quot;  Then we try to wind things up and get back down to eye level and listen to the child.  The hands-on-the-face thing has become a bit of shorthand in our family for &quot;I need your attention&quot; and our 5-yr-old is now doing that instead of just plain ol' interrupting (at least when the adult in question is seated, or in reach; else it's a tug at the clothing or a grasping of a hand.  So long as it's a non-verbal request for attention I'm good.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also made sure that they know that emergencies do not require them to wait, or politely request attention.  (Of course, our definition of 'emergency' differs from that of a 2- or 5-yr-old...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-07-24T11:18:09.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8518" CreationDate="2013-07-25T19:26:34.443" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see two scenarios here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With most kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: And then for dessert, what do you think we should serve?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B: I was thinking some--&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B's child: MOM! MOM! Look! This book goes in the bucket!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is &lt;em&gt;interrupting&lt;/em&gt;. There are lots of ways to deal with it. I liked to make physical contact - hand on arm or leg, or around waist - and eye contact and say &quot;I'm having a conversation. You need to wait your turn unless it's an emergency.&quot; Or other times &quot;Is it an emergency?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you might be asking about:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: And then for dessert, what do you think we should serve?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B: I was thinking something chocolate, everyone likes chocolate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B's child: Well, I don't. How about pie?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a tougher call. It definitely happens as children get older, and they want to join in all your conversations, whether invited or not. I would typically laugh (to indicate it's not really a big deal) and say something like &quot;not your conversation, sweetie, go back and play&quot; and then carry on. One of my children, by school age, needed a separate chat later about not joining adult conversations unless invited. But don't worry, as an adult that child has no reticence left about joining uninvited conversations or meeting new people :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-25T19:26:34.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8524" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8525" CreationDate="2013-07-25T20:06:00.157" Score="7" ViewCount="32771" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son knows his colors pretty well, but still frequently seems to say &quot;blue&quot; for red items, and &quot;red&quot; for blue items (although it seems more common for him to call something red blue than the other way around).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a color matching game where a spinner points to a color, and you discard a card with a balloon matching that color.  I noticed that he had no problem matching the color on the spinner with the color of the card he was discarding, but he did call the red card blue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I correct him, he usually says &quot;oh, yeah,&quot; and then starts referring to it by the right color.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, he'll sometimes ask for his favorite car by saying the blue car, even though it is fire-engine red.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are these signs that he might be color-blind?  I know that this is a fairly common thing, especially in males (I believe somewhere around 10% of men have some degree of color-blindness), so I'm not going to make a special trip to the doctor about it (although I'll mention it at our next scheduled wellness visit), but I'd like to know if I can find out on my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is confusion between red and blue normal for color-blindness?  Is there a way that I can test this and eliminate the possibility that he's just getting the words confused?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2019-08-08T12:07:54.120" Title="Is confusing red and blue at age 3 a possible indication of color-blindness?" Tags="|toddler|health|eyes|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8524" CreationDate="2013-07-25T20:45:38.373" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are color-vision tests designed for those who can't read or recognize numbers. You could try them. Here's one example, from &lt;a href=&quot;http://freepages.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~hellmers/test/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;rootsweb&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Nb8Bw.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;color test&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(There's a large one at that link along with instructions about using it.) There are others too, just search for &lt;code&gt;test color blindness toddler&lt;/code&gt; and you'll find them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-25T20:45:38.373" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8524" CreationDate="2013-07-25T23:31:35.530" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can probably figure this out by a simple genetic calculation. Color-blindness is a sex-linked recessive disorder on the X-chromosome. It typically doesn't manifest itself in females, but they can however be carriers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask some questions about her side of the family and also yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you color blind?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is your father color blind?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is your wife's father color blind?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go right on up the family tree and determine the genotypes of each member. Here is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.genetic-genealogy.co.uk/Toc115570152.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;link for further explanation&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you ask these questions, make a table for genotype probabilities in your potential children, i.e. you aren't color blind, but your wife's father was, meaning she could be a carrier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;Let X be dominant and x be recessive&#xA;&#xA;      ------------------------------------&#xA;      | You (unaffected)                 |&#xA;      ------------------------------------&#xA;      |   |     X        |        Y      |&#xA;      ------------------------------------&#xA;M | C |   |              |               |&#xA;o | a | X |     XX       |       XY      |&#xA;m | r |   |              |               |&#xA;  | r |---|-------------------------------&#xA;  | i |   |              |               |&#xA;  | e | x |     Xx       |       xY      |&#xA;  | r |   |              |               |&#xA;      ------------------------------------&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on that, you can tell you have a 50% of creating a male child who is color blind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apologies for the long winded answers. I don't want the money I spent on a Human Biology college elective to go to waste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2013-07-25T23:31:35.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8519" CreationDate="2013-07-26T04:29:30.983" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The research referred to on the program was a &lt;a href=&quot;http://media.utoronto.ca/media-releases/health-medicine/parental-divorce-linked-to-suicidal-thoughts/&quot;&gt;study out of the Universty of Toronto&lt;/a&gt; (by Esme Fuller-Thomson and Angela Dalton) published in &lt;em&gt;Psychiatry Research&lt;/em&gt; which &quot;examined gender specific differences among a sample of 6,647 adults, of whom 695 had experienced parental divorce before the age of 18.&quot; So they were talking to adults about whether they had had suicidal thoughts, and comparing the incidence of those thoughts in people whose parents had divorced to the incidence in people whose parents had not divorced before age 18. Compared to men whose parents had not divorced, men whose parents &lt;em&gt;had&lt;/em&gt; divorced were three times as likely to have had suicidal thoughts. That gap was markedly higher in men than in women. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The link between divorce and suicidal ideation was particularly strong&#xA;  in families where childhood stressors like parental addiction,&#xA;  physical abuse, and parental unemployment also occurred...even in the&#xA;  absence of these childhood stressors, men who had experienced parental&#xA;  divorce had twice the odds of having seriously considered suicide at&#xA;  some point in their life compared to men from intact families...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“This study suggests that the pathways linking parental divorce to&#xA;  suicidal ideation are different for men and women. The association&#xA;  between parental divorce and suicidal thoughts in men was unexpectedly&#xA;  strong, even when we adjusted for other childhood and adult stressors,&#xA;  socioeconomic status, depression and anxiety,”says lead author Esme&#xA;  Fuller-Thomson, Sandra Rotman Chair at U of T’s Factor-Inwentash&#xA;  Faculty of Social Work and Department of Family and Community&#xA;  Medicine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Explanations for why men might be more negatively impacted by parental&#xA;  divorce are varied. However, researchers believe it could be due to&#xA;  the absence of close contact with a father which may occur&#xA;  post-divorce. Previous studies have linked the loss of father-figures&#xA;  with adverse developmental outcomes in boys. “It may be that the link&#xA;  between parental divorce and suicidal ideation in men is mediated&#xA;  through factors we cannot control for in our analyses such as&#xA;  childhood poverty or parental depression, both of which are more&#xA;  prevalent in divorced families,”says U of T masters graduate and study&#xA;  co-author Angela Dalton.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Fuller-Thomson cautions that “these findings are not meant to panic&#xA;  divorced parents. Our data in no way suggest that children of divorce&#xA;  are destined to become suicidal.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The link above summarized the results of the study in January 2011, before the article was actually published (May of 2011). The link has contact details for the authors. The full article citation follows. It is in the Elsevier database. Contact your local library to get a copy of the article - if they do not have access to the Elsevier database, they can get a copy of the article through interlibrary loan. The article itself cites a number of other articles, some of which may be relevant and which you can ask the librarian for as well. I have included a few of those citations below.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Citation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Esme Fuller-Thomson, Angela D. Dalton, Suicidal ideation among individuals whose parents have divorced: Findings from a representative Canadian community survey, &lt;em&gt;Psychiatry Research&lt;/em&gt;, Volume 187, Issues 1–2, 15 May 2011, Pages 150-155.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further possible reading: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Afifi et al., 2009. The relationship between child abuse, parental&#xA;divorce, and lifetime mental disorders and suicidality in a&#xA;nationally representative adult sample. &lt;em&gt;Child Abuse &amp;amp; Neglect&lt;/em&gt;, 33&#xA;(2009), pp. 139–147.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chase-Lansdale et al., 1995. The long-term effects of parental&#xA;divorce on the mental health of young adults: a developmental&#xA;perspective. &lt;em&gt;Child Development&lt;/em&gt;, 66 (1995), pp. 1614–1634.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cooney, 1994. Young adults' relations with parents: the influence of&#xA;recent parental divorce. &lt;em&gt;Journal of Marriage and Family&lt;/em&gt;, 56 (1994),&#xA;pp. 45–56.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;D'Onofrio et al., 2006. A genetically informed study of the processes&#xA;underlying the association between parental marital instability and&#xA;offspring adjustment. &lt;em&gt;Developmental Psychology&lt;/em&gt;, 42 (2006), pp.&#xA;486–499.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Huurre et al., 2006. Long-term psychosocial effects of parental&#xA;divorce: a follow-up study from adolescence to adulthood. &lt;em&gt;European&#xA;Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience&lt;/em&gt;, 256 (2006), pp.&#xA;256–263.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Jakupcak et al., 2003. Masculinity and emotionality: an investigation&#xA;of men's primary and secondary emotional responding. &lt;em&gt;Sex Roles&lt;/em&gt;, 49&#xA;(2003), pp. 111–120.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Jekielek, 1998. Parental conflict, marital disruption and children's&#xA;emotional well-being. &#xA;&lt;em&gt;Social Forces&lt;/em&gt;, 76 (1998), pp. 905–936.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maccoby et al., 1993. Postdivorce roles of mothers and father in the&#xA;lives of their children. &lt;em&gt;Journal of Family Psychology&lt;/em&gt;, 7 (1993),&#xA;pp. 24–38.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-07-26T05:09:11.760" LastActivityDate="2013-07-26T05:09:11.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8072" CreationDate="2013-07-28T12:46:20.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with @Meg Coates' answer and would like to add my views.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key here, is that she is talking at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not unusual and actually can be observed in people of all ages. Not everybody is comfortable speaking in social situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the point of a three year old child. Children of this age are naturally suspicious of strangers and want to know that their primary care giver is close at hand, or if left alone, that the parent will be sure to return. Within this parameters of a, potentially, anxiety provoking experience, it is usual for some children to be reserved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are prone to regressing when feeling stressed; or as the case may be here, shy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My youngest child spoke her first word at about 15 months. &quot;fluff&quot;. Our response was to comment and praise her as being so clever. She did not speak another word for over a year. She did not start speaking, until she could speak in full sentences and well. She took in all around her, studied and learnt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was then some years before any of my friends heard her speak. At this time, she would talk to her peers at preschool, but rarely adults, unless they were family.&#xA; Some thought there was something wrong with her. As she was my third child and I felt confident in my parenting abilities, I didn't fret, as I knew she was developing well, and that she had a very reserved nature. I respected that then, and still do. In fact, during this time, she became and still is very talkative at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she grew older she gradually became more verbal and now speaks her mind freely in front of adults she knows well. She has the usual reservations of an eleven year old girl in front of adults she does not know well, which is also reflective of respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I have not forced her to talk to strangers, and supported her in setting her own pace when put into new situations, like starting school, starting a new sport. I trust in her nature, as a reserved person, that she is discerning and takes her time to assess people and situations before, wholly, participating in the activities. In a verbal and social sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an almost, endless, subject. I do know this. Many parents worry too much (that is our job) and I can say that what is &quot;normal&quot; or &quot; healthy&quot; development is broad. Contemporary psychology and studies, can place some children on the edges of the bell curve. It is important to remember this, it is just the propensity of human beings to strive for conformity. Fortunately human beings are made up of a great variety of personalities, and, usually, there is less to be concerned with, other than being overly-concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;nb. I have a child that had learning difficulties and he had speech therapy 5-6 days a week for a long time. The speech therapist and I would look at my daughter (a baby then) and would note how she was taking everything in. As for my son, when a child has difficulty learning, it is apparent, and a whole different thing. The parent is, usually, the best judge&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;side note by parent, I include and mean to acknowledge all primary caregivers.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-07-28T12:46:20.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6283" CreationDate="2013-07-28T13:05:44.170" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a most disturbing question. In Australia (where I live), there is mandatory reporting for many professions, whether they hear something like this within the course of their employment or not. I for one would report such behavioural problems to the appropriate child services.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going to speak frankly, but the lack of education here, that seems apparent about child development and sexual precociousness, is alarming. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, or any primary caregiver, we have a responsibility to be informed. To educate ourselves about our children and what they need. For some this comes naturally, as it has been taught by a loving and stable family (and no family is perfect, I am talking about the guts of a family). For those, who did not have such beginnings, the journey can be a little more difficult, but equally rewarding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I see youth, coupled with ignorance, I shiver to see the cycle being perpetuated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It needs to be said; this child is sexually abusing other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kudos to you for posting here, I sincerely hope this child is not being punished, but being helped by competent professionals (now that is another discussion).. I am not sure why I am even posting this.. in a flicker of hope that it may somehow help someone, somewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-07-28T14:04:54.890" LastActivityDate="2013-07-28T14:04:54.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7815" CreationDate="2013-07-28T13:31:53.093" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a woman who has given birth to three premature babies and suffered miscarriage. My pregnancies were the most precious thing to ever happen to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said this: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Most women do NOT experience these combined problems&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the no one is qualified here, not even an obstetrician, to advise you on exercise or blood-flow to the uterus or amniotic acids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have studied Medical Science and this combined with the multiple complications of my pregnancies, I cannot emphasize enough, to anyone who may be pregnant and read this. Do NOT take any online advice from strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my instance, I even had a friend, who was an experienced midwife tell me that exercise cannot cause miscarriage, I was later put on total bed-rest for months to help maintain the pregnancy. It is commonly known that walking around helps to &quot;bring on labor&quot; in women who are overdue, or wanting to speed up labor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said this, for most women, exercising in pregnancy is fine and healthy. I have no idea if you fall into this category. Pregnancy is not the time to increase exercise, or embark on new exercise, it's a time to gradually reduce exercise intensity. To have a gentler regime. The ligaments throughout the body soften, from the massive amounts of progesterone in a pregnant woman's body. This is what aids in softening the birth canal and enabling it to stretch around a babies head. This also allows the joins in the pelvic girdle to soften, so it can stretch a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the third trimester of pregnancy a woman should not lie on her back for too long, as the weight of the baby and uterus puts pressure on blood vessels. This also needs to be considered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for squats, I ruptured my membranes squatting in my first pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for increasing blood flow, and a healthy uterine environment, I recommend a healthy diet. Adequate iron, calcium and vitamin c intake. Vitamin c helps the uptake of iron, which is needed for healthy blood supply. Calcium is needed for muscle to function properly, and the demands during pregnancy increase, as the baby is forming bones, muscles etc. Low calcium levels can lead to cramps. I recommend getting such intake through diet, not tablets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eating a balance diet with a view to increasing foods with low GI, combined with gentle exercise (if advised by the professional caring for you in your pregnancy) and keeping weight gain  in check (a non-pregnant BMI in the &quot;healthy range&quot;); helps reduce the risk of gestational diabetes. Gestational diabetes can cause an overproduction of amniotic fluid, which in turn can lead to premature labor from ruptured membranes. It also affects the blood flow to the baby, increasinging glucose levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cutting back on excessive salt intake, also aides in keeping blood pressure down. As elevated blood pressure, increases the risk of pre-eclampsia, which causes compromised blood flow and decreased growth rate of the unborn child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are herbal teas that I have seen recommended (and I will not name any herb or drug here) by women, that, actually assists in causing contractions of the uterus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said everything, the key is, it all needs to be moderated and supervised. Over doing any of the above suggestions can also lead to health problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps someone. I wish you luck with your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you require links to validate my claims, please ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-11-08T13:50:46.433" LastActivityDate="2013-11-08T13:50:46.433" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8499" CreationDate="2013-07-28T14:00:47.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breast milk serves the only good purpose as a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/why-breastfeeding-is-important/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;source of nutrition and immunological&lt;/a&gt; defense for babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, as a mother, the best way to avoid diaper rash, is to change nappies regularly and give babies and toddlers time without diapers, as frequently as practical. Regular baths, without strong soaps, and the purest and mildest of products. A baby should never be allowed to sit in a soiled diaper, as this will cause reddening of the skin immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A breast fed baby is, supposedly, likely to have fewer allergies and stronger protection from illness. Provided they ingest the milk via the mouth only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;New mothers, first time breast feeding, almost universally, in the developed world, suffer sore nipples. Our breasts are swaddled in bras and protected from the ordinary chaffing that toughens nipples and reduces their sensitivity to a suckling newborn. The good news is, this passes and many women continue to have good breast feeding experiences without the application of breast milk to alleviate sore nipples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any substance with sugar and protein left in a moist environment becomes a potential breeding ground for bacteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for infections, red eye, sores, breast feeding aids immune defence, but good hygiene practices and keeping babies from high risk sources of infections is a better way to deal with these problems, than a squirt of breastmilk in the eye. I'd recommend medical advice for any of these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2018-12-13T13:42:44.367" LastActivityDate="2018-12-13T13:42:44.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8533" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-29T12:37:06.367" Score="20" ViewCount="14275" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 16-year-old who has no respect for her stepfather. They hardly communicate and each time he says something she snaps or makes a stroppy or contradictory comment. He sometimes loses his temper rarely but when he does he goes over the top (probably due to frustration) he swears at her and shouts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He lets his anger build up and it comes out all at once. Neither of them are speaking at the moment (to me also). He is catatonic downstairs and she is refusing to come out of her room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do? I've tried telling him that he should make exceptions for her as she is only a teenager but he says this is no excuse. He has even said that either she or him should leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4595" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2017-10-25T05:42:10.423" LastActivityDate="2017-10-25T05:42:10.423" Title="Teenage daughter and stepfather" Tags="|teen|conflict|step-parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8533" CreationDate="2013-07-29T13:04:11.557" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teenagers are hard to live with when you've known them all their lives. It's harder still when you've only met recently. Step-parents often don't know that the teens are sulky and stroppy to everyone, and assume it's a specific reaction to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A house rule that nobody is allowed to swear or yell at anybody else might help. At this age, you really need symmetry - rules have to apply to the adults as well as the teen. For example, if you go out and leave her alone in the house, you tell her when you'll be back. It's polite. If she goes out, she tells you when she will be back. Teens often don't realize that rules are being applied to them not because they're still a child, but because these rules last forever. I pick up my dirty laundry from the floor, I put my dish by the sink or in the dishwasher, I cook, I vacuum, not because they are my hobbies but because this is what people who live together do for each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you establish certain baselines like speaking politely, communicating about plans, noise in the house at night, and chores, there may be some other issues left over - opinions about clothing or music choices etc. Try to let go of those and encourage your husband to do the same. We can influence our teens, but not by ordering them to dress differently or have different hobbies. It's a slower and gentler process, and it can't flourish if they are in the habit of opposing everything we say to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-29T13:04:11.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6996" CreationDate="2013-07-29T14:35:10.957" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I totally agree with Chris' answer: &quot;It has to fit in with your lifestyle.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience your lifestyle will probably change dramatically once the child is born. At least that's what happened to us. You sleep less and have a lot of things to think about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So while we were getting used to the new lifestyle we simply used disposables. We weren't sure how much extra work the washing would be (and the washing service would have been more expensive than disposables...). So when we got used to our new lifestyle we started to use cloth diapers and have been using them since then except for vacation. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4242" LastActivityDate="2013-07-29T14:35:10.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8533" CreationDate="2013-07-29T14:59:52.230" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Chrys that relationships with teens can be very complicated. They are not adults - parts of their brains are not yet fully developed. Sometimes they act very adult-like, and we start thinking that they are more mature than they are and we set our expectations too high. While stroppy behavior needs correction, it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; age-appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask what more you can do. The two of them have a communication/relationship problem. You will be very limited in your ability to fix it for them. The fact that neither is speaking to you at the moment is an indication of how difficult triangular relationships can be. You are not their therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were in your position, I think I would produce a list of therapists or ministers that the two of them could choose from to help them solve the problem they are having. It is their responsibility to fix - the stepfather, being an adult, should take the lead. Family therapy is also an option. Your partner's statement that either he or she should leave is dangerously close to an ultimatum asking you to choose between them, and this is unacceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the absence of a viable therapeutic solution, consider that these two people are not hearing each other and they are not feeling heard by the other (and perhaps by you). You could try listening to each, and then sharing what you hear with the other. Be careful, though, as you can be seriously manipulated if you stay in the middle of their relationship. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-07-29T14:59:52.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8537" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-29T17:28:33.333" Score="14" ViewCount="624" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 4 kids, 11, 8, 6, 3 (boy girl boy girl).  My 6-year old is tremendously prone to shame.  At the drop of a hat he will turn away, cover his eyes, hide in the corner and just generally grind to a halt.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand the pride/shame axis.  I'm sure we're contributing to this somehow or other.  What I don't know is what's the best way to handle it when it happens?  Right now I try to just sit with him and say positive things until he loosens up and can make eye contact again.  It crushes me to see him having those feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All help appreciated.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="846" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-02-07T13:34:03.247" LastActivityDate="2019-02-07T13:34:03.247" Title="How to respond to a 6-year-old tremendously prone to feeling shame?" Tags="|primary-schooler|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8538" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8542" CreationDate="2013-07-29T18:29:15.153" Score="11" ViewCount="775" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a single dad who has custody of my 11 year old daughter during the school year.  During the summer, however, she stays with her mother in another town. I have become concerned about the lack of bedtime regimen that she has while she's there - she's basically allowed to stay up as late as she wants (I regularly see Instagram posts etc. at 2 AM+ in the morning) on the grounds that &quot;it's summer; she can sleep as late as she wants in the morning.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So - if she goes to bed at 4 AM and sleeps till noon, is there research on whether that's basically as good as 10 PM to 6 AM or whatever? Is an equivalent amount of sleep fine for a kid even if it's not at night? I'm not sure how much of my negative reaction is old-school &quot;early to bed, early to rise&quot; inherited-wisdom stuff vs there being an actual reason that's not good for her. What are the documented effects/pitfalls of &quot;bedtime anytime?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have other concerns - a lot of that time is unsupervised, since her mom has young ones they all go to bed early, and a lot of that time is using the Internet... But purely sleep-wise, any thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastEditorUserId="1750" LastEditDate="2013-07-30T01:21:29.037" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T01:21:29.037" Title="Bedtime vs amount of sleep?" Tags="|bedtime|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8538" CreationDate="2013-07-29T19:27:54.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;left to our own devices, we all have our own internal clocks that, for better or worse, rarely align with a 24 hour/9-5 modern human schedule. As far as I know, all parents throughout time think their kids stay up too late and sleep in too long. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alas, kids--namely teenagers--&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/teens-health/CC00019&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;have science backing them up&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's not so much when they sleep, but that they get enough of it. Unfortunately, kids live in the same world as we all do and the 'waking hours' of society don't always correspond with our personal sleep cycles, so the concern is getting into the habit of staying up very late, only to have to then get up very early when the school bus comes--which ultimately will cut into the length of their sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-07-29T19:27:54.483" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8538" CreationDate="2013-07-29T20:46:52.623" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a condition called &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_sleep_phase_disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder&lt;/a&gt;, which basically means my body can't go to sleep until the early hours of the morning, no matter how tired I am.  When I first learned about it, I was interested to learn that it is fairly common in adolescents, but usually goes away by adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to my research, by far the healthiest way to deal with my condition is to sleep when my body wants to sleep.  Unfortunately, social commitments preclude a 1-9pm work shift, so I do various treatments that are designed to help shift my clock back, and minimize the damage from going against my body's natural rhythm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, that's presuming your daughter is among the 7% or so of adolescents with DSPD.  If she's using stimulants like caffeine or otherwise forcing herself to stay awake against her body's natural rhythm, that's unhealthy.   Without actually observing her, there's no way to tell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-07-29T20:46:52.623" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8541" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-07-29T20:55:18.243" Score="1" ViewCount="2414" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child will begin school in a little over a year, and they will be administering the Metropolitan Kindergarten Readiness Test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What kind of questions are asked on the Metropolitan Kindergarten Readiness Test? And how are the skills assessed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="732" LastEditorUserId="732" LastEditDate="2013-07-30T12:40:05.023" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T12:40:05.023" Title="What kind of questions are asked on the Metropolitan Kindergarten Readiness Test?" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8538" CreationDate="2013-07-29T21:55:04.437" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assume your daughter needs 8 hours of sleep (it might be 9 or 10, but whatever.) Can she get that from 2am to 10am (or 3am to noon), and if so, is that ok?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, she probably can't. The sun will come up (especially in the summer) and raise the light levels in her room, which will cause her to sleep less deeply. Other people in the house, who didn't stay up so late, will wake, have showers, make breakfast and generally contribute to background noise. And she may, summer or no, have obligations and plans (a day at the pool with a friend) that require her to be up before she's had her required amount of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, is it ok? I would say no. Unsupervised access to TV and the internet is, regardless of the time of day, not a good thing for an 11 year old. It is potentially more dangerous late at night, though with time zones late in one place is not late on the internet. Definitely the TV channels show different fare at 1am than at 1pm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible her mother is just &quot;picking her battles&quot; and giving your daughter a freedom the mother never had. I don't think it's very safe, but it may not feel worth the fight. One possible approach is to turn off the internet (put the wifi in the mother's room) at say 10 or 11 pm (heck, start at 1am and walk back an hour a week till you get to 10) each night. Now you don't have to sleep - feel free to read, for example - but no TV or internet till the morning. For safety reasons. This might result in a bored preteen going to sleep when the internet goes off. Or, it might result in a thermonuclear explosion, which will mean there is probably something inappropriate happening in the middle of the night. From my experience, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-29T21:55:04.437" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8537" CreationDate="2013-07-30T01:39:59.897" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had problems with shutting down and crying especially if she got something wrong or failed at something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she was 8, I enrolled her in a local kung fu afterschool program (combo child care/martial arts class). The master taught them pride in themselves via real achievement and didn't take any crap (where to be fair, this behavior falls in the continuum of human behavior). He'd push her - if she started a form, messed up, started crying, he'd push her to start again and not just let her retreat into herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the end of the year, she had a lot more confidence and failing at something didn't cause her to immediately get discouraged and abandon it and cry and stuff. I didn't tell the master about any of this up front, but he came and talked to me and he immediately identified her personal Achilles heel (&quot;She's a good kid, the one problem she has is...&quot;) and gave me regular reports on her improvements on that front.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So basically, she needed her ass kicked a bit (call it &quot;tough love&quot; to sound sensitive) to get through it. And sometimes it's hard for us as parents to do that, even though we should, and this proved a good solution for us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastEditorUserId="1750" LastEditDate="2013-07-30T13:29:42.567" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T13:29:42.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8518" CreationDate="2013-07-30T01:47:31.440" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I encouraged this in my daughter.  If the content's not inappropriate, and the kid is not interrupting about something unrelated, then why shouldn't they participate in a discussion? I found that my 4 year old had opinions pretty much as sound as other random yobbos on the issues of the day. Heck, often her more &quot;naive&quot; questions were the best ones to make people actually think about what they were talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I detest people who don't talk to kids like they are people but instead talk to them like they're a dog or something. Their opinion on &quot;what's for dessert&quot; is less valid than someone else's?  Why? If she's participating civilly, then I'd encourage her to talk with others in general non-private conversations. It will increase vocabulary, people, and reasoning skills (did with my daughter at least).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T01:47:31.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6996" CreationDate="2013-07-30T02:59:46.463" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I used Kissaluvs (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kissaluvs.com/fitted-diapers.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.kissaluvs.com/fitted-diapers.php&lt;/a&gt;) Size 0 cloth diapers the day after we brought my daughter home after she had passed her meconium. I loved using them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since that time we've used almost every kind of cloth diaper because my wife is obsessed with them. We've got Apple Cheeks, AMP's, Bum Genius (Free Times), Flips, etc. I have a tough time with Apple Cheeks, because I have trouble with the snaps, but the AMP's, Bum Genius, and Flips are all ones that I liked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're a little difficult for our parents to figure out, and generally takes a few days for someone who's not familiar with cloth diapers to figure out. After a few days, I've never had any issues with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also agree that when you're travelling, it's probably a better idea to get some disposables, but for the majority of time, I would definitely recommend them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3571" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T02:59:46.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8533" CreationDate="2013-07-30T03:07:18.693" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the stepfather has a significant amount of time as her stepfather (~8 years or more) then my advice is for him to be the adult. If he has less than that, 5-7 yrs at the most, then I fear this situation will never get 'better'. She will always remember &quot;that time before Rick&quot; as the best time ever then Rick came along and just got in the way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course the teen is asserting herself and trying to be free at a time when she's really too young to be so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Part 1...&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has any established authority, then I would say that he needs to use it. Stop playing the verbal volleyball that she suckers him into. He should stomp those arguments before they get started and lay down the law like a runway in the desert. Boom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;This is the decision, this is what you're doing.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll hate it and she'll hate him the entire time that she abides by his statement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with this is that it will only work if &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has established authority; that in the past she has listened and obeyed his statements.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Real dad has never vetoed him and there's no danger of it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You support him 100% and have never vetoed him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Part 2...&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This must be followed up immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm not going to deal with you if you're hollering and being like this. When you're ready to act like a human and talk to me person to person, we can probably work something out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will only work if he is ready to accept that she is her own person. That even at the still newbie age of 16, she is beyond being told what to do. Only thing anyone can truly do at this point is try to impart some wisdom and hope they follow it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Bottom line&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's a biological adult and trying to figure out who she is and where she's going. She needs help, not orders. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's an adult in the house. He needs to act like an experienced adult and treat her almost like he would someone new at work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You, the mother, need to take a more pro-active role. It's difficult, and nobody is used to it or well practiced. Get in there, knock their heads together and make them both act like adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If he has no established authority, the only part of this that matters is the part where you take control. None of the rest of it will matter. In that situation, I would give completely different advice.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope I've helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T03:07:18.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8408" CreationDate="2013-07-30T08:53:43.013" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;name me a baby&quot; is very good for this. You can search for names that &quot;begin with&quot;, &quot;end with&quot; or &quot;contain&quot; certain strings and see how popular the resulting names are. If you click on a name you can see a graph showing how the popularity has changed over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.namemeababy.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;NameMeABaby.com&quot;&gt;http://www.namemeababy.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4229" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T08:53:43.013" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8541" CreationDate="2013-07-30T09:27:11.810" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer is readily available via Google, for example here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://college.cengage.com/education/salvia/assessment/10e/resources/salvia_test_metropolitan_readiness.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://college.cengage.com/education/salvia/assessment/10e/resources/salvia_test_metropolitan_readiness.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From that link:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Beginning Reading&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Visual Discrimination (Level I)&lt;/em&gt;   This is a Beginning Reading subtest that assesses skill in matching individual letters, letter&#xA;  sequences, and words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Beginning Consonants (Levels I and II)&lt;/em&gt;   This is a Beginning Reading subtest that assesses skill in discriminating initial phonemes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sound–Letter Correspondence (Levels I and II)&lt;/em&gt;   This is a Beginning Reading subtest that assesses skill in identifying letters that&#xA;  correspond to sounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Aural Cloze (Level II)&lt;/em&gt;   This is a Beginning Reading subtest that assesses skill in matching the initial sound of a picture that is&#xA;  contextually appropriate for a sentence read by the examiner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Story Comprehension (Levels I and II)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  This subtest assesses understanding of the vocabulary and concepts of a story to which&#xA;  subjects listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Quantitative Concepts and Reasoning (Levels I and II)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  This subtest assesses basic mathematical concepts (such as number–numeral&#xA;  and part–whole relationships) and operations (for example, addition).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T09:27:11.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8537" CreationDate="2013-07-30T18:31:21.340" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's worth considering that your child may simply be doing it to get attention. You have 4 kids, so he has competition for attention, he knows that if he acts crushed he'll get dad all to himself for awhile. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also possible that he is crushed of course. Either way my answer would be to stop trying to console him. If he's doing it for attention he's likely to act more and more crushed to get you over there, then give up because it's stopped working. If he's genuinely upset he still needs to deal with his problems himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard for any parent to leave a child alone when he/she seems upset, but attention is not always the best way to deal with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-07-30T18:31:21.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8552" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8561" CreationDate="2013-07-31T00:00:36.560" Score="39" ViewCount="9840" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a mother to a 7 year old boy and I have a friend who has a 2 years toddler. Both my friend and I try our best to use the Conscious and Peaceful Parenting Approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her little daughter is lovely and gets on really well with my boy. The only problem is she is quite &quot;aggressive&quot;. I don't know if &quot;aggressive&quot; is the right term because I doubt that she does the things she does out of anger because she usually laughs or smiles after these incidents so I assume she thinks it is just a game/way of exploring. However, there have also been times where she hits out of anger e.g. there was one time she was upset about something to do with her mother (nothing to do with my son) and my son went to give her a hug as a way of giving his moral support but she just slapped him and threw the metal music instrument she had in her hand and in hit my son hard on his head. She slaps my son on his face and also hits him with whatever she finds and it is so bad that my son has got bruises on his arm and legs! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It breaks my heart to see him having these bruises but what I am finding the hardest is the &quot;conscious/peaceful parenting approach&quot; of my friend who &quot;accepts&quot; these outburst. She says that it is a normal development of a toddler and that he isn't doing it out of anger. She literally stands and looks at her daughter while these things take place and says that she just needs to get it out when she is frustrated and so on. I admire her for her patience and how she is parenting peacefully and consciously. I think she is an amazing mum to be able to do this but at the same time it doesn't sit right with me that she accepts the &quot;violence&quot;. I have seen how she gets annoyed when her daughter repeatedly slaps her on her face or on her body and she does say to her not to hit her but when it happens to my boy she doesn't say anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also took some of my son's toys, some which are of some sentimental meaning to my son and kept banging them hard against the floor or wall and other times throwing them on the floor or on my son. When I asked my friend how come she is not really doing anything about it, she says that her daughter is only 2 and that is not the age to reason with them and explain things as they wouldn't understand right from wrong and so on and that it is just a normal part of the development when a child is 2. I see her as a good friend and both my son and I really adore her daughter but it really hurts me to see my son being hit like this, especially with bruises. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can also see the frustration in my son as I try to explain him that she is too small to understand what she is doing and doesn't mean to hurt him. So he keeps this as a reminder but at the same time I can see him getting more and more frustrated as he feels he is being treated unfairly by the little girl who either hits him (without my son having done &#xA;anything) or throws/bangs his things repeatedly until some of them are finally broken. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has never done anything back to her but I sense my son's resentment towards her during and after these incidents. I said to my son to just gently hold her hand and say stop when it happens which he did but my friend isn't happy with this as she doesn't want people to touch her child as her daughter doesn't like it so she wants my son to respect that. So my son respected this and stopped holding the girl's hand. She suggested that he could instead just put his hand in front of his face and say stop but as my son told me with tears in his eyes, that method isn't working as she then just ignores the &quot;stop&quot; and carries on hitting. She doesn't hit with just her hands, usually she always have something in her hand which she hits with. The other day it was an umbrella she kept whacking him with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mum of this child blames my son such as stating that he should learn to assert and defend himself. She says that I do no service to him if I protect him from such situations endlessly (she says that she does not mean that I should let it happen, but to teach how to assert himself peacefully, respectfully and strongly so a 2 year old won't bully him). My son has tried to distract her and also blocked his face when she hits him but this has not worked as she just keep whacking him with whatever object she has in her hand. This is why I suggested to my son that he should gently hold the girl’s hand and firmly say “NO”/“STOP”. My friend is not happy with this and has told him to stop it as  this then violates her daughter’s bodily boundaries and she ended up crying each time he did this. My friend seems to be more focussed on looking into how my son could have handled it better rather than looking into how to stop her child from hitting others. So my question now is 1) How can I support my son with this so he does deal with it in a peaceful way (to me, it was holding the girl’s hand and say stop but the mum obviously doesn't want this) 2) Any strategies on how this 2 years old could be supported to stop hitting my son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help and give me some suggestion on what to do and perhaps some suggestion I could pass on to my friend about how she could support her daughter to stop the beating but of course in a concious and peaceful way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your time and help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;UPDATE&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;31/07/2013&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you very much to you all for taking time to answer my queries. Your advice has been very helpful and re-assuring. Much appreciated :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On another note, I use authoritative parenting approach (peaceful/conscious parenting comes under that category) and is NOT permissive parenting and very different from that. Permissive parenting lacks boundaries and direction/guidance. Whereas the approach I am talking about include boundaries, guidance and direction however in a collaborative and respectful manner (not where parents see themselves as the boss). To be honest, it seems like although my friend says she is using the peaceful/conscious parenting approach it looks like a permissive approach as she does not provide any direction or guidance and there are no boundaries either. This is not the case with my self. I had a very strict, authoritarian and violent upbringing myself and value the relationship I have with my child and he is a very respectful person who doesn't do harm to others. He treats people in a respectful manner which is the foundation of the parenting approach I use such as whenever there is a conflict we sit down as a team and come with solutions/options in a collaborative and respectful manner - not any of the &quot;You do as being told because I am the parent, the boss&quot;. I am against permissive parenting approach as well as there is no discipline and this is not the type of child I would like to raise. Hope this clarified your question about the different parenting approach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concious parenting comes under the authoritative parenting approach but on a level where you are very mindful of a child's EMOTIONAL needs, especially the underlying emotional needs. It also includes a parent being conscious of how her/his own issues are getting triggered during conflicts and be mindful of these in order to not allow these triggers take over the parenting. E.g. when I feel that my son is taking something for granted, my own issues gets triggered such as &quot;Nobody values me&quot;. A conscious parent will be aware that it is one's own issue (past) and not the child (here and now). So she would accept that it is her own issues and try to see things from the child's point of view rather than start getting angry/annoyed because of her own issues/triggers. (In summary, a conscious parent would be more mindful of not only her own underlying emotional processes but her child's too)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I had to mention that my friend uses the peaceful/conscious parenting approach is that she is against shouting, spanking and time-out which I totally agree with. However, a conscious/peaceful parent can still guide a child to what is right and wrong without using any of the above mentioned methods. However, she seems to not have the tools for this and very much being permissive as she lets her daughter do whatever she wants without any boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once again, thank you very much for your time and help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4604" LastEditorDisplayName="user11278" LastEditDate="2014-10-27T13:39:56.437" LastActivityDate="2020-01-10T10:55:38.410" Title="How can 7-year old defend himself when toddler is hitting?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|primary-schooler|hitting|socialization|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8552" CreationDate="2013-07-31T01:37:45.110" Score="59" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simple answer, although I suspect it is the answer you don't want to hear, is that you need to limit your son's exposure to your friend's daughter, and make sure that the interactions are supervised (by you, not just your friend!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to admit I'm not familiar with the &quot;Conscious and Peaceful Parenting Approach&quot;, but this has all the earmarks of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles#Indulgent_parenting&quot;&gt;indulgent or permissive parenting&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, 2 year olds are prone to hitting, but the whole thing about &quot;she just needs to get it out when she is frustrated&quot; is malarkey.  It does, in fact, sound like sometimes she is doing it out of anger (2 year olds become angry quite easily... just as they experience most emotions at that age).  That doesn't mean it is okay, or the behavior should be ignored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2 year olds &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; learn that hitting is wrong, they can do it without harming or impeding their emotional development, and if they want to engage in play with their peers, they &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; learn it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The mum of this child blames my son such as stating that he should learn to assert and defend himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is even worse.  Your friend is taking no responsibility for her child's behavior, and is instead placing all the blame on your son for what... not using his strength to physically restrain a girl 5 years younger than him?  Not yelling at her?  Not wrenching the toys or other objects she's using to bludgeon him with out of her hands?  He's supposed to stop her, but not touch her (even though she's &lt;em&gt;allowed&lt;/em&gt; to hit him!)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, it is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt;, I repeat &lt;strong&gt;NOT&lt;/strong&gt; your son's responsibility to deal with an out-of-control 2 year old, and since it isn't your 2 year old, it isn't &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; responsibility, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of ways to stop a 2 year old from hitting in a peaceful way (I'm not sure what is meant by a &quot;conscious&quot; way).  Depending upon the child, a stern voice from an adult, while crouching down to their level, explaining calmly that hitting is wrong, and it hurts other people, is sometimes all it takes.  A short time-out of one minute per year of age, presented as &quot;time to calm down&quot;, rather than punishment, helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it sounds like your friend has never done this, and hitting has already been incorporated into the girl's idea of acceptable behavior, so I doubt that this would work. At best, it would likely require repeated and consistent responses (and an immediate end to the play session) until it started to sink in that the behavior is not acceptable, and you'd need the mother's full cooperation to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which, unfortunately, I suspect is unlikely.  A parent who ignores her child's bad behavior, and instead criticizes your parenting, seems unlikely to be willing to consider changing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you must continue this relationship, the best I can offer is to tell your son that when she starts hitting, to just stand up and walk away, closing a door between himself and the girl if necessary.  If she is destroying his property, then you and your son need to agree, and make clear to both the girl and her mother, that she simply is not allowed to play with your son's belongings, and therefore all play should be out of sight of any of his things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your friend argues with this, point out that A) the items are being destroyed, and B) they are being used as weapons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But again, I am skeptical as to how effective this will be.  Your friend is teaching your daughter, either by omission, or outright explicitly (particularly if she's saying that she &quot;needs to get it out of her system&quot;), that violence, both to objects and to other people, is an appropriate and acceptable means of expressing whatever it is she's feeling (and it sounds like it could range from anything from anger, to frustration, to just plain boredom).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; normal (the acceptance of the behavior, that is; as I said before, toddlers do hit, but that doesn't mean it can or should be allowed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly believe your best approach is to just stop letting the two children play together until the girl has &quot;outgrown&quot; this behavior (&lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; she does outgrow it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T01:37:45.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8552" CreationDate="2013-07-31T02:21:05.500" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your friend is being inconsistent. Her daughter doesn't like having her hand restrained? Does she think perhaps your son enjoys being hit? Talk about &quot;violates bodily boundaries&quot;! It's true that toddlers will naturally hit and bite. One of the roles of a parent is to intervene and to teach other ways of expressing feelings. Without that help, a toddler can end up hurt (by someone who hits back) or feeling disrespected (by someone who restrains their hands) or sad (because they realize they hurt somebody.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have three options, perhaps more:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;see this woman and her daughter when your child is at school so that he doesn't have to be hit and his possessions won't be ruined. This may mean you see less of them and it does mean he will lose the company of his young friend for some time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;step in yourself when the toddler starts hitting, asking her not to hit, reassuring her she can express her feelings in other ways, removing her from hitting range and so on. This may upset your friend or even lead to a rift in your friendship, but it will show your son that you will protect him, and show him very clearly how to gently but firmly respond to toddler violence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tell your friend that you need her to redirect her daughter, and to help protect your son, and that you aren't directing her &lt;strong&gt;how&lt;/strong&gt; to do it (though you have suggestions if she wants them) but that you must insist &lt;strong&gt;that she do it&lt;/strong&gt; one way or another, or it will lead to a falling out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to tell a hitting child &quot;I will not let you hurt [your brother / your sister / your friend / our guest]&quot; and this is aimed as reassurance at both of them. Yes, a wave of emotion has come over you and you are hitting and screaming and throwing and hitting, and I bet you don't like it, but you are not alone, an adult is here, and it will be ok. Yes, someone has just hit you or almost hit you and it's scary, but you're not alone, an adult is here, and it will be ok, and I won't let anyone hurt you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Natural consequences are a powerful way to teach. Sometimes, too powerful. Getting hit and killed by a car is a terrible way to learn to stay out of the street. Logical consequences, where a parent artificially imposes a mild consequence and prevents a severe one, is often more successful and happier for everyone. The logical consequence of hitting with things and of smashing things is that the things are taken from you. The logical consequence of insisting nobody disrespect an out of control toddler by controlling her in any way, however mild, is that you and your child are not welcome in some places you would like to be welcome. Your friend may not wish to learn this lesson, but I suspect the universe will insist on teaching it to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T02:21:05.500" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8552" CreationDate="2013-07-31T03:27:25.530" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Beofett.  This particular parenting style seems to be the latest fad among some groups of parents--one of my sisters-in-law happens to be one of those parents.  She makes excuses for her sons' behaviors explaining them as &quot;developmentally appropriate&quot; and making little to no attempt to discipline her kids even when their behavior is obviously out of line.  Heaven forbid that you attempt to step in when one of her kids is misbehaving and correct it!  Can I tell you how this story ends?  Her sons are now 4 and 6 years old.  They are bullies who hit, undermine, manipulate, and her six year old is verbally abusive to his cousins who are the same age as him or slightly younger!  He's SIX!!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago, after a particularly rough few days spent with this sister-in-law and her hellions, my other 2 sisters-in-law and myself were discussing the situation.  This sister-in-law is not going to change her parenting approach because, for reasons we can't understand, she seems to think that there's nothing wrong with it.  However, we DO NOT want to teach our kids that it is ok for others to treat them badly--even if that &quot;other&quot; is a friend or relative.  We want them to know that if someone is treating them poorly that they should leave the situation because, ultimately, the mental health of my son and my daughter is more important to me than them playing with their cousins.  And that is how we've decided to deal with this sister-in-law and my nephews.  Hitting, saying mean things, etc. is grounds for automatic removal from the situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does that mean for you?  If you are visiting this friend of yours and her daughter starts on a hitting tirade, you simply gather your son and say you need to leave.  You can even make an excuse and say, &quot;Little Sally looks like she's getting a little tired, we should go.  Would you like to meet at the park tomorrow?&quot; or something to that effect.  Don't make a big deal of it, even if your friend gets upset.  If your friend is at your house with her daughter you could ask her to leave, or you can just take your son by the hand and say, &quot;Why don't you help me in the kitchen for a few minutes until Sally feels like playing more nicely?&quot;.  If it happens often enough, her daughter will probably realize that when she hits then her friend leaves, and your son will probably thank you for removing him from the situation.  I applaud your son for being so nice to this 2-year-old and not hitting her back.  Most seven-year-olds probably wouldn't be that kind.  That tells me that he's been raised to know right from wrong and he's struggling to do the right thing in this situation.  He needs you to have his back and help him out.  Talk to him about it as much as you can so he understands that you are helping him as much as you can.  At age 7 a lot of kids still sort of believe their parents can do anything and he's probably a little baffled that his mom can't make this 2 year old stop hitting him!  It would be a good way to help your son understand that every family does things a little differently--a lesson that will come in handy in a few years when he comes home and wants to do something that his friends are doing but you won't allow him to do (like, have a cell phone, stay up until 10:00, or whatever...).  And tell him that's it's ok if he doesn't want to play with this little girl.  There's no law that says that he &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; to play with her.  You can schedule play dates with other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for toys, before your friend arrives with her daughter, you and your son can put away the toys he doesn't want her to play with/destroy.  As for protecting the remaining toys, I don't really have any good answers on that although I think that Beofett's answer is spot-on.  If she wants to destroy her own toys, that's one thing, but she shouldn't be allowed to destroy other people's toys just because she's two!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T03:27:25.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8556" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8569" CreationDate="2013-07-31T06:47:39.923" Score="7" ViewCount="1714" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are similar Questions around Like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5336/how-to-approach-my-little-brothers-addiction-to-tv-and-computer.com&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3054/what-are-some-fun-no-tv-or-computer-activities-that-a-2-year-old-and-a-4-year&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But they dont entirely help me.. I'm pursuing Post graduation and my exams are around. My little one is a &lt;strong&gt;three year old restless girl&lt;/strong&gt; who shows little/no interest in any activity except tv and running around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its &lt;em&gt;monsoon here in India&lt;/em&gt;, so outdoor activities are a total no-no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pity we have &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt; neighbour kids to keep her company, and she is the &lt;strong&gt;only child&lt;/strong&gt; at home.&#xA;(I live with my parents so as to complete my PG and her dad is away!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That leaves &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;plenty of time in front of the tv.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have bought her plenty of books, she dos not like more than 1 story read to her. She shows little interest in colouring. her favorite toy is the &quot;kitchen set&quot;(not more than 15 minutes)and her favorite activies are the physical ones, running-jumping-somersaulting-climbing windows/furniture and whatever she can think of! She can go on for hours like that!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Her only playmate is me&lt;/strong&gt; and I barely have time after coming from college (and with a mountain of books to study).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She wants me to join her in anything that she does, (I know that's her age and the &lt;strong&gt;physical activities&lt;/strong&gt; she is interested in, &lt;strong&gt;tires me out&lt;/strong&gt; compeletely), and is tugging at my skirt the moment i come home till she goes to sleep. so in order to buy some time i would send her to watch tv n she's slowly getting addicted(feeling guilty all over).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She watches around &lt;strong&gt;four hours&lt;/strong&gt; of tv currently(i am a bad mom, sigh !). My momma (looks after her while I'm gone) is all softy-softy with her, catering to all my daughters whims, letting her watch tv when she is busy in the kitchen(and we have no household help).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is how can i get her to play alone(I'm bad momma???) and reduce tv/computer time? (at least till my term exams are over &lt;strong&gt;ie in 3 weeks&lt;/strong&gt;). Help !! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4297" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-24T14:48:56.327" LastActivityDate="2020-08-24T14:48:56.327" Title="Reducing TV time for toddler?" Tags="|toddler|activities|television|screen-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8552" CreationDate="2013-07-31T11:10:57.710" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;My view is that it is my responsibility to protect and to teach my child. I have been in the situation you've described, faced with the results of the rather permissive parenting style of your friend. I stopped the younger child hitting my son, saying out loud that hitting is wrong and saying to my child that to respond with violence is also wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Protecting my child: done.&#xA;Learning outcomes: violence is wrong. That's the message to my child. If the other child gets it too, great, but their training is not my responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this approach doesn't go down well with your friend, then tough, in my view. If another's parenting style allows their child to hurt mine, then, as a matter of defending my child, I will step in immediately and stop any further damage. As a matter of training my child, I will instruct my child - loudly and clearly - that a violent response is not appropriate and to walk away. If that embarrasses your friend, tough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is really your friend's view that your child should learn to defend itself, then I am afraid that her child will eventually receive a violent retribution at some stage in it's life. I am not sure she really wants that. Let's see how long her laid-back parenting style lasts while her child is getting hit back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point, I will probably allow my children to learn some form of self-defence. A significant part of any self-defence training is non-physical - it is the mental process of knowing if, when, and how to protect one's self physically.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3052" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T11:10:57.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8556" CreationDate="2013-07-31T11:53:34.727" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Repeat this to yourself until you hear and believe the words: YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM!  You are going through some stressful times, and on top of that you have a THREE YEAR OLD!  You're allowed to let things slide right now that you might not otherwise.  Cross my heart.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, it sounds like you need to not only give yourself a little love and forgiveness, but come up with some alternate activities that won't make you feel quite so guilty.  Is there any way she can &quot;help&quot; you with your work?  For example, when I'm home working 'cause one or more of the kids are home sick (so we're housebound, like you), I will get them some paper and crayons/pencils/whatnot and ask them to make notes for me.  So, as I code (I'm a geek by profession) I will think out loud while they &quot;write&quot; what I say (the 5-yr-old actually does, but she can play much more independently at 5 than she could at 3, so doesn't participate much; the 2-yr-old scribbles quite diligently for a few minutes).  Then I ask them what I said and sometimes I might get something intelligible and sometimes I might get stories about a dump truck but they feel like they're participating and I actually get some work done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So maybe there are ways she can help with your coursework.  Reading while Mommy reads, writing while Mommy writes, listening while Mommy talks out a problem in the coursework; kids that age love to help and this might actually let her feel involved while allowing you to distract her with something other than TV and the jungle gym you call a home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that I use to keep mine occupied when I need to concentrate is errands. The 2-yr-old is my big helper, so I invent things for him to fetch for me. (&quot;Can you bring me the stuffed bear?  Thank you! (gives the bear a kiss) Okay, now he wants to go sit on the sofa.&quot;  Lather, rinse, repeat.)  The 5-yr-old will do this too, but her motivation is time; I can get her to do ANYTHING if I tell her &quot;I'll time you!&quot;  So she races around doing whatever it is she's doing and I time her and somehow she almost always has a new record. ;&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hang in there, and forgive yourself a little.  You have a heavy load right now and you're doing what you can to survive and better yourself and your family.  Other busy moms across the globe have your back. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T11:53:34.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8560" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8562" CreationDate="2013-07-31T14:19:47.680" Score="7" ViewCount="31561" Body="&lt;p&gt;I kind of feel like this is &quot;normal&quot; but I am also worried that while I am in awww over her preciousness and loving her cute little moments that I may actually be watching her having some kind of neurological problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have asked the doctor and they said she is &quot;fine&quot; but my experience with doctors tells me that they don't always know everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe she mainly does it when &quot;excited&quot; like if she sees a toy she wants, or wants us to pick her up, or sees herself in the mirror. Her arms and legs begin to tremor as if she has so much excitement built up and doesn't know how to exert it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could this be a sign of baby anxiety or some kind of neurological issue? Does your baby do this? How old? How long? Did you get it checked out? What did they say?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love my little baby sooooooooooo much and I just want to make sure she is as her best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-28T12:38:46.260" LastActivityDate="2021-02-02T18:53:24.320" Title="My 11-month-old child is shaking arms and legs when excited. Should I be worried?" Tags="|behavior|infant|motor-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8552" CreationDate="2013-07-31T15:46:54.820" Score="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 16 months (the &quot;terrible twos&quot; begin in the second year of life, remember) and we've always been conscious about discouraging, politely but firmly, any behaviors that cause physical injury. She may not understand all of the words we say, but a firm &quot;no&quot; is pretty well-ingrained as a signal that she's about to get plunked in her crib for 15 minutes if she doesn't stop whatever she's doing, whether that's pulling hair, slapping faces, pinching noses, scratching cheeks, wailing for no reason, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your 7-year-old, on the other hand, can definitely understand you. So talk to him. Tell him that he has the right to protect himself from injury and to protect his things from damage. The way he does so, however, should not be violent. He shouldn't strike back; that just reinforces her behavior as being acceptable. If she's hitting him for no reason, he can start with a firm &quot;no&quot; and if she keeps hitting him he has the right to block her punches and, in the extreme, to gather her up in a bear hug until she calms down. If she's banging a delicate and valuable (to him) toy around on the floor, walls and on him, perhaps it's time to put that toy away in a place she can neither see it nor get to it, and bring out something sturdier (and perhaps softer).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, you cannot control how your friend raises her daughter. You can control how you raise your son. Teach him to be an assertive but nonviolent person, who stands up for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T15:46:54.820" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8560" CreationDate="2013-07-31T16:48:26.550" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my daughters has seizures and neurologically-caused muscle tremors.  Trust me, they are very distinct from a baby's excited quivering.  Babies are still learning how to control their bodies.  Something like keeping your arm from shaking seems easy, but is actually quite complicated from a control systems point of view.  Especially if a doctor has signed off, I wouldn't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T16:48:26.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8560" CreationDate="2013-07-31T19:17:16.533" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies do this. My 16-month old is no different. She has a little more motor control than your 11m/o probably does, but she still shakes, bounces, sways etc when she sees something she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby is just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T19:17:16.533" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8564" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8568" CreationDate="2013-07-31T20:41:30.423" Score="10" ViewCount="162535" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 15 month old little girl who up until now has been a very easy baby.  Over the last month or so, she has begun whine nearly constantly.  There are a few ways to stop her.  Usually these involve picking her up or taking her outside to play.  Both work well, but there are certain times when they are not an option, like if I am the only parent around and I am cooking dinner or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions on breaking this new behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2511" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T21:24:56.840" Title="15 month old has started whining constantly?" Tags="|toddler|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8486" CreationDate="2013-07-31T21:09:10.317" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;With our firstborn, we started with a couple varieties of microwave steam sterilizer. These come in two basic flavors; disposable and durable. The durable kind is basically an enclosed drying rack with a tray underneath for water. Put water in the tray, fill up the rack, place in the microwave for 6-10 minutes, and viola, sterilized bottles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The disposable kind is simply a plastic zip-lock bag with a steam vent and much the same purpose and method of operation. It's only good for 10 or so uses after which the manufacturer recommends you throw it away, but the advantage is the bag can be rolled up, stuffed in a diaper bag and used wherever you have access to a microwave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We quickly learned that taking this extra step is a huge hassle, and given that we were using an antibacterial dish soap to hand-wash the bottles, it was also completely unnecessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We eventually just went with putting them in the dishwasher, which is our current method. Our 16-month-old still refuses to try a sippy cup, so we use a bottle at every meal and for &quot;milk snacks&quot; and general hydration in between, and that adds up to a lot of bottles to wash. The dishwasher actually does a better job of sanitizing what you wash in it than the steam sterilizers, and if you're willing to tolerate a melted part or two (happens even with the best cages to contain the nipples and other parts; Babies R Us stocks plenty of spare parts for a good reason), it's a lot easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tips for anyone who's gonna use heat to sterilize:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you go plastic, use polypropylene bottles with silicone nipples.&lt;/strong&gt; Polypropylene (symbol: PP) is at this point the best overall choice for a baby bottle; the plastic is made without any phthalates or bisphenols to cause problems (Bisphenol-A or BPA is not the only bisphenol compound used in polycarbonate plastics, and they're pretty much all bad news but only BPA is illegal, so manufacturers simply switch to another bisphenol, and voila, BPA-free), and it's a relatively durable, thermally-resistant (microwave-safe) and chemically-resistant plastic (though it does have a tendency to absorb dyes in the presence of an acid, for instance tomato juice stains). Silicone rubber is similarly pthalate and bisphenol-free, thermally stable (it's used for oven mitts and trivets), and more durable and chemical-resistant than rubber compounds. My wife and I use the Playtex VentAire Advanced bottles, which are made from these materials (though be careful with hand-me-downs, because they weren't always).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Polycarbonate plastics are bad. They just are. Not only are they not as thermally-resistant (you'll end up seeing stress fractures in key places in the plastic after several runs through a sterilizer or dishwasher), but because of that, they'll break down and leach their monomer into whatever they hold. This monomer is invariably a bisphenol compound; polycarbonate plastics are composed of bisphenol monomers by definition. As I mentioned above, BPA isn't the only bisphenol compound, it's just the most infamous as it was widely used in products like Plexiglas and Lexan (still is, in non-food applications), so while a manufacturer can legally claim its product is BPA-free, the bisphenol variant he does use isn't any better for your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Glass would be ideal chemically, as it's almost totally inert and highly thermally resistant. It just has that one pesky side effect of shattering into sharp pieces on impact, which is especially problematic for my wife and I because our daughter has developed the habit of throwing the empties onto the floor, because she likes the clatter they make. If your child isn't yet able to hold the bottle themselves, glass is best all around.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When doing a dishwasher load including bottles, make sure everything in that load is well-rinsed&lt;/strong&gt; - You'll reduce occurrences of a baby bottle part getting the roast beef from last night's dinner stuck in some crevice. In addition, some things in milk and formula are harder for a dishwasher to remove, especially if they've been allowed to set for some hours.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't use a rinse aid with plastic bottles in the dishwasher&lt;/strong&gt; - The bulk of most dishwasher detergents is a weak base, like sodium carbonate. This raises the pH of the water to help dissolve proteins and acidic food residues. It's not really a &quot;water softener&quot; though it can be called that; in fact most of them actually increase alkalinity (&quot;hardness&quot;), which causes the water spots. The active ingredient of a rinse aid is a &quot;chelating agent&quot; (aka an acid), which dissolves this alkalinity, leaving behind spotless dishes. However, plastics will, over time, react to the acid in the rinse water. Even polypropylene (as previously mentioned, it will discolor and eventually degrade in an acidic environment). That would mean using tablets or gel packs that have rinse aid built into them, and a separate supply of dish detergent without a rinse aid, so you can choose when you need it and when you don't on a per-load basis. It will probably also mean no glassware in the same load as plastic bottles. Hey, you sort your laundry by color and fabric, right? (well, we don't anymore; with one baby requiring our attention and another on the way, it's a miracle we have clean clothes in the first place).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Hand-wash every so often to remove hard water clouding&lt;/strong&gt; - Silicone and other soft parts are especially vulnerable to clouding with hard water buildup. It's not harmful (and you should get your baby used to your local tap water as soon as they're off of a breastmilk-only diet), and it comes off with a good scrub (no abrasives please). Since you're not using a rinse aid for the wash cycle, it can't hurt to give the rest of the bottle a good hand-wash every few cycles as well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't go overboard&lt;/strong&gt; - Your baby's immune system is tougher than you think, and it needs to be, given what your baby will be getting into over the next three or four years when you're not looking. It's currently thought that our obsession as parents with eradicating every germ in sight is actually increasing the incidence of conditions like asthma and allergies, because the immune system, in the absence of real threats, overreacts to very minor pathogens or even non-pathogens. It's now becoming encouraged for parents to, for instance, clean their baby's pacifiers by sticking them in their own mouths. By doing so, you give your baby a dose of the same bacterial colonies that call your body home, many of which, far from being parasitic, are actually essential for human life.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="27436" LastEditDate="2017-04-21T13:54:38.920" LastActivityDate="2017-04-21T13:54:38.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8564" CreationDate="2013-07-31T21:58:54.990" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;For our 16m/o, a &quot;No child, none of that&quot; in a disapproving but not angry tone, as often as necessary, gets the point across; while we aren't ignoring her, what she's doing for attention is not kosher. If she persists, it's usually because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she's bored (this seems to be your child's primary complaint, as a change of scenery does the trick; maybe you can step away from your other duties for a little while and indulge her), &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she's hungry (offering her an animal cracker is a good gauge; if she wolfs it down we get out something more substantive for a snack or meal, while if she plays around with it it's boredom), or &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's naptime (there will be other signs like droopy eyelids, face rubbing, and the fact that when we lay her down in the crib she doesn't argue the point).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might be tempted to try Pavlovian methods here; reward the good, ignore the bad. This is IMO a mistake; your daughter is trying, in her own way, to make sure you still have her back, and to ignore that can be damaging. It can also lead to escalation to a behavior you cannot ignore, which will reinforce this path of behavior as something that will eventually get your attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should be responsive to your child. If this behavior seems engineered to get a particular response (she has, for instance, learned that whining will get her picked up and maybe even carried outside), then break that cause-effect relationship by consistently providing a different response to that behavior that she doesn't want (it doesn't have to be a punishment per se), and encouraging a different behavior that will get her what she does want (if that's within your power).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just don't be too responsive; there are parents who take the exact opposite tack and respond earnestly to every movement and sound their child makes. First, this is impossible to keep up, and second, if you are always watching your child, they get the impression that something's up and maybe they're not as safe as they think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the same token, don't ignore destructive or overly disruptive behavior. As a parent, listening to whining is in your job description (Section II, Paragraph 3, right next to &quot;being indispensable one moment and an embarrassment the next&quot;). However, if she escalates, respond, this time with a firm &quot;no&quot; and/or a time-out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whining, the wanting to be held, the wanting Mommy (or Daddy) around all the time, is all part and parcel of the &quot;clingy phase&quot; that happens around this time. As babies learn to walk, run, climb, and generally push the envelope toward independence, they're also redefining their &quot;comfort zone&quot;, and sometimes that will involve a regression or two back to &quot;mommy needs to be with me all the time or I don't feel safe&quot;. Your child will outgrow this. In the meantime, giving her a response, but not the result she was after, is the order of the day for behavior you want to discourage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2013-07-31T21:58:54.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1021" CreationDate="2013-08-01T00:07:23.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This seems to be two different problems. The pediatrician saying that your baby is using you as a pacifier doesn't necessarily mean that her having a pacifier is bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, it's still thought to be best, breastfeeding-wise, for a baby to not be given a bottle or pacifier until they're sucking at mother's breast like a champion. Your daughter apparently got that far, so given that, a pacifier shouldn't be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What the pediatrician may have been alluding to is that your daughter, at only a few weeks old, may be getting all she needs from you food-wise in a relatively short window, and after that is dropping down to a lighter, shallower &quot;non-nutritive sucking&quot; pattern, the same as she'd use with a passy. The difference between this pattern and the pattern she'll use when she's really interested in food is very different; nutritive sucking is hard, long, and she'll be regularly swallowing and gasping (which is why you have to burp).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that point when she starts to drop down to non-nutritive suckling, the value of keeping her at the breast is diminished; she's there for comfort, not food, and so you can take her away from the breast, give her a passy, and do something else with your time. An hour to an hour and a half at a sitting, when a newborn typically should be fed once every two hours, theoretically would mean you spend at least half your time nursing, and that's not healthy for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a pump, try pumping, and see how long it takes from the moment you turn the pump on to get 2 ounces, or however much the baby books say your child should be eating at her age. My guess is that it will take closer to 15 minutes than to an hour and a half. However, there's no strict time limit here; if she's still sucking hard at the 15-minute mark, then let her keep going. She's a growing girl. Depending on what she weighed at birth, she's likely to &lt;em&gt;quadruple&lt;/em&gt; her body weight in the first year, and all that energy and all those protein building blocks are going to come from you, God willing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would bring all these concerns to a breastfeeding coach. The hospital our daughter was born at had a breastfeeding clinic literally right across the entry bay from the maternity ward. It was staffed with nurse practitioners who did nothing but counsel new moms on how to breastfeed. I would see if there is any facility like that in your general area; these guys &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; breastfeeding, regardless of the experience your pediatrician has on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2013-08-01T00:07:23.153" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8564" CreationDate="2013-08-01T12:27:16.823" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Right around 15 months, according to the book The Wonder Weeks, comes &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-9/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mental Leap 9&lt;/a&gt;. The authors of The Wonder Weeks describe mental leaps as the bounds in development your child makes where he goes from one way of understanding the world to another, more mature and adult-like way of understanding it. As your child ages his leaps build on each other and he learns more and more about the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During these mental developmental leaps, however, your toddler's world is being rocked. He's learning that there are whole new layers to the way the world works. This is incredibly disruptive to his experience of life. During mental developmental leaps toddlers often have difficulty sleeping, may eat poorly, are clingier, are crankier, cry more, act a little more like babies, and the symptoms go on. Generally every time my 17 month old has hit a rough spot in her infant and toddler life I've found when I checked the calendar that she's in the so-called fussy phase before one of these leaps. The fussy phases for most of the leaps last 3-6 weeks. In between the leaps are a period of 1-6 calmer weeks, depending on the leap. During these clingy, cranky, fussy phases a little extra understanding may go a long way for both you and your toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mental Leap 9 is the one where your child gains the skills to begin to manipulate and try to get his way. So he's not only crankier, he's also practicing his new skill of whining to get his way. And this is where you have to decide how your family wants to handle whining. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on your overarching parenting philosophy you may choose something very different from what the next family will choose. Whatever you decide, you want to make sure that it is consistent with your principles and family rules. Some parents do prefer to, for example, pick up a child &lt;em&gt;every single time&lt;/em&gt; that he indicates he wants up. They do this because they believe that it is critical to a child's development to be that responsive. These parents tend to consider themselves &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Attachment Parents&lt;/a&gt;, at least in the US. Most AP parents use devices like soft structured baby carriers and wraps to provide closeness in situations such as cooking, even for toddlers. Other parents believe that now that the child is gaining a rudimentary ability to understand reactions to actions and consequences for behavior now is the time to begin teaching patience by asking that a child not get his or her way every minute. For example Janet Landsbury &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sums up&lt;/a&gt; the Resources for Infant Educarers view of how to handle whining by suggesting that you calmly tell your child you understand they are upset, but that the whining hurts your ears and you want them to speak in a normal tone. RIE also emphasizes that by giving your child your full attention during every day activities such as feeding, dressing, diapering, and other mundane parts of life you can stop whining before it starts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you have already noticed, taking your child outside tends to quell whining. In both &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0440506727&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Your One Year Old&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553384422&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Happiest Toddler on the Block&lt;/a&gt; I noticed that the authors suggested that the best way to minimize tantrums was to maximize your toddler's outdoor time. While I agree that parents cannot have their child outside playing every minute of every day I do find that my 17 month old is less likely to be throwing a tantrum or whining at me if we have spent a good deal of time outdoors every day. So I do tend to structure our day with as much outdoor time as my schedule allows in order to head off later whining, or in my daughter's case, loud screaming, as she usually alternates between sunny and full-out furious with no intermediate state.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="21715" LastEditDate="2016-03-29T11:40:54.163" LastActivityDate="2016-03-29T11:40:54.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8556" CreationDate="2013-08-01T12:54:41.167" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will echo what the other's have said - you are not a bad mother. You are a mother who is balancing your own expectations for parenting with reality. The world is not an ideal place and therefore we can never be ideal parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like both of you would benefit from her learning independent play. Unfortunately for you both the process of learning independent play is somewhat long and somewhat hands-on. However whatever steps you can take to help her learn how to play on her own will really benefit you both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find Janet Landsbury very helpful for discussing independent play. She provides the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/07/how-to-break-your-toddlers-tv-habit/&quot;&gt;following steps&lt;/a&gt; for reducing or eliminating toddler TV time, since you wish to do so:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain it to your toddler. Make sure she feels like an equal participant in the changes. Acknowledge that she enjoys TV, explain to her that she's going to have a new way to play during whatever time you want to eliminate TV useage, like when your mom is cooking. Then tell her what it is she will be doing instead, like some new activity. Here it might be helpful for starters to set up an activity option or two for her. You can find a myriad on &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinterest.com/search/?q=toddler+activities&quot;&gt;Pinterest&lt;/a&gt;. For example while your mom is cooking she can enlist your toddler's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.noordinaryhomestead.com/10-ways-my-toddler-helps-in-the-kitchen/&quot;&gt;help&lt;/a&gt;. Yes, toddler help is probably more of a hinderance, but at the end of the day it prepares your toddler to actually be helpful when he or she is older!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When your toddler does start whining, screaming, or crying for TV at the appointed time, acknowledge how hard it is. Acknowledge that your toddler likes TV. Tell her that you understand that. Don't tell her it's alright or that she's not allowed to be sad. Provide comfort - either your own cuddles or perhaps a favorite stuffed toy or blanket to hold. But don't give in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she asks about it in the future, explain again why you want her to play another way. Make sure that you treat her with respect as another little human being, though one who is developmentally different then you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While activities such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://in-the-corner.com/2013/02/26/ziploc-bag-painting-and-other-toddler-activities/&quot;&gt;ziploc bag painting&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://thepreschoolexperiment.blogspot.com/2011/11/grab-it-game.html&quot;&gt;picking up things with tongs&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://simplehomeblessing.com/toddler-tip-thursday/&quot;&gt;coloring&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://millionayres.com/2159/busy-board-for-a-busy-birthday-boy/&quot;&gt;a busy board&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinterest.com/PlayCreateXplor/play-create-explore-blog/&quot;&gt;so many more&lt;/a&gt; may help ease this transition, the ultimate goal is that your toddler becomes more self-directed and independent in her play. Again, Janet Landsbury &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/05/stop-entertaining-your-toddler-in-3-steps-2/&quot;&gt;provides&lt;/a&gt; a 3 step method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First, when you do have time to play with your daughter, be less intrusive. Perhaps when your exams are over is the best time to begin this. Start letting her determine what toy she wants to play with. Discuss with her what she's doing, but don't step in and redirect her or change it. When she asks for your help instead redirect the question back at her. If she says, &quot;I want you to build me a tower of blocks,&quot; don't do it. Instead you respond &quot;Which block do you want to go on your tower first?&quot; Then instead of putting it on for her say, &quot;OK, why don't you put it where you want it to go?&quot; For each step of the way you &quot;sportscast&quot; her actions as needed to encourage her to go the next step. As she gets more confident in this she will need less of your interaction and will begin doing more and more on her own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Provide limits, such as boundaries that protect her safety and health. These will help her feel that she is loved and has freedom within those boundaries. One of your important limits is on your time. You can acknowledge that she wants to play with you, tell her when you will next be able to play with her again, and ask her what she will be doing to play while you study or while your mother cooks. Empower her while remaining calm and comfortable with the situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage play that is mind-active. Provide open-ended toys such as blocks. See what kind of games she can invent on her own once she has a few ideas under her belt. When she comes up with her own ideas, encourage them rather than redirecting them because they are &quot;wrong&quot; or &quot;not good enough.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/08/solo-engagement-fostering-your-toddlers-independent-play/&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; are further tips for fostering independent play in toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A second thing which may be helpful for you, though possibly cost-prohibitive on a student budget, is hiring a local tween or teenager to come play with your child. Because you are still present while the older child is playing you don't need an experienced babysitter and the cost is lower. It provides the benefit for the tween or teen of some income and babysitting experience for his or her resume. Perhaps you even have an extended family member or family friend who you can find a non-monetary way of compensating. These older children are usually called &quot;mother's helpers&quot; in my circles and are quite frequently hired by at-home mothers who need another helping hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A final note is that you ideally will get your mother on-board with your plans. If you are trying to redirect your toddler's play and your mother is turning on the TV during that time you will have much more of an uphill battle to fight. You hardly need to eliminiate television (I believe the recommendation at 3 is that less than 2 hours is ideal, but some is not considered a problem), so your mother can certainly allow your daughter some. However when you have stated that now is time to play not watch TV, your mother needs to back you up not undermine you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-08-01T12:54:41.167" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8571" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-02T02:47:33.123" Score="0" ViewCount="230" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son turns one in five days. Since yesterday he has started turning his head and blocking our attempts to bring a spoon or fork up to his mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes he will open his mouth and let us put food in it. This is quickly followed by him pushing all of the food out of his mouth and grabbing what he can with his hand. He then drops the food on the floor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought he was wanting to feed himself, but handing him the food results in a similar trip to the floor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife took him to the pediatrician today because we thought he might be sick but the doctor didn't find anything (our son was happy and playful for him) and used the opportunity to do his one year checkup. He said everything was fine, but our son still doesn't want to eat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He drinks from his sippy cup for a few seconds before pushing it away, too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this may be my fault as I fed him a bite if my food last week during dinner that had Tapatio sauce on it. I wasn't trying to hurt him, but he was visibly uncomfortable with the bite. If I'm the reason this is happening, I'm ready to receive my &quot;Worst Dad of the Year&quot; mug. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why won't he eat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1573" LastActivityDate="2013-08-02T11:07:12.527" Title="Why won't my son eat?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2013-08-02T12:15:38.143" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2013-08-02T09:00:23.653" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the opinions here advocate &quot;get him away from that&quot; or the like, with the chosen answer advocating that you &quot;get him into a lot of engaging activities.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that nobody has asked: What does your baby like?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure you know the answer to this. If you don't know, then throw lots of varied things his way and observe. It will help you see what he gravitates towards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example: when my youngest boy was about that age, we went to a buffet for dinner. For desert, he sorted his M&amp;amp;Ms by color and lined them up perfectly in a row. So we got him megablocks. At 14 mos he would play with a 50 block set for half hour at a time multiple times a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my youngest daughter was about that same age, again out to eat, she would sing nothing, just bla bla bla, as loud as she could. So we got her singing books and musical toys. They would hold her interest for as long as we let her turn pages and push buttons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get a handle on what he likes and get him into it a couple sessions a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as TV is concerned, one of the things I said in another thread on the subject was &quot;Everyone watches tv but nobody wants their kids to watch tv.&quot; TV is just like anything in that too much of it can be detrimental. Personally, in the US, I don't think that an hr or 2 of TV a day for a 14 mo old will be more developmentally problematic than the underfunded and shrinking education system. Meanwhile, during that time, you can do some laundry, get dinner started and return phone calls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-08-02T09:00:23.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2013-08-02T10:32:55.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just to add a bit of frugality here: don't throw more toys at your kid. By toys I mean thing you buy and keep somewhere. Maybe just give him or her a roll of toilet paper and I would be surprised if the game of unrolling this thing will not take more than 3mn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I think letting kids getting bored a little bit on some occasions during the week can be a good idea. Sunday afternoon, TV is off, you read a book in the sofa, kid is on the ground 2/3 meters away, having nothing special to do, maybe just a few book lying around. It usually works well. Or maybe laying on the ground outside in the garden. Kid love to play with grass, sticks, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most important point here is that you should be really reading your book, and let the baby get 95% out of your brain (5% is enough to prevent big issues). The kid will feel it, may complain, but will imitate you sooner than later, and engage for a while in &quot;boring&quot; activities (such as reading or playing alone with anything under the hands).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own trick for my three years old is that I love playing lego and have plenty of them at home. I really play myself, not playing with him, but building some planes, cars, etc, out of nothing, for hours. He will almost always try to bring me in but then will start playing by himself, building planes and cars. And then will come the time for me to &quot;push forward a bit&quot; showing him why this construct is not solid, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-08-02T10:32:55.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8571" CreationDate="2013-08-02T11:07:12.527" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I gave my kid a spoonful of mustard and he cried. It happens, don't worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, dont worry: From the description I would bet your kid is just playing with your worries. He likes to feel that you are concerned and the more you are the more he or she will play this game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-08-02T11:07:12.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6161" CreationDate="2013-08-02T12:19:30.387" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility in Feeding is extraordinarily helpful here. For toddlers through adolescents it is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The parent is responsible for what, when, where&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child is responsible for how much and whether&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents' feeding jobs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Choose and prepare the food&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Provide regular meals and snacks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make eating times pleasant&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show children what they have to learn about food and mealtime behavior&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be considerate of children’s food inexperience without catering to likes and dislikes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not let children have food or beverages (except for water) between meal and snack times&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let children grow up to get bodies that are right for them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children's eating jobs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children will eat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They will eat the amount they need&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They will learn to eat the food their parents eat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They will grow predictably&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They will learn to behave well at mealtime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[&lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your responsibility when your child goes through a low-eating phase is to continue offering the kids of foods your child should be eating (with consideration to their preferences without your becoming a short-order cook) at mealtimes and age-appropriate snack times. When your child chooses to eat a bite or two or not eat at all, relax. Put the food away. Wait until the next meal or snack time. Offer again. Don't force your child to eat more or less than they desire as this just sets you up for feeding battles. Just relax, manage your feeding responsibilities, and let your child manage his or hers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do know that when children are going through major developmental changes they may temporarily lose interest in food. If this is the case it often comes roaring back with a vengance once the developmental changes are over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-08-02T12:19:30.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8578" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-03T07:08:38.847" Score="3" ViewCount="3246" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like a snake in the attack mood sticks his tongue in and out repeatedly, the same way my newborn sticks her tongue in and out repeatedly - nearly the whole day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does this indicate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T07:11:00.970" Title="Why does my newborn stick her tongue in and out like a snake?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8578" CreationDate="2013-08-03T08:55:57.260" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;New sensation to be explored?  Hoping there's some food out there?  Kids do weird things.  If you are truly concerned, ask your pediatrician, but my guess is it's something new she learned how to do and now she's practicing her new skill.  Soon it'll be something else; they gain so many skills and experiences in these days that it's dizzying to try to keep up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-08-03T08:55:57.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8580" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-03T16:16:24.860" Score="5" ViewCount="450" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a new dad and recently I've been doing a lot of DIY projects that involve metals, which are greased in petroleum based lubricants. I clean my hands thoroughly with hand and dish soap after the work, but I still smell like petroleum. All petroleum based products warn against skin contact on the labels. I am hesitant to touch my baby when I smell like machine oil for her safety. How do I clean my hands thoroughly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a white collar job, and my DIY projects are infrequent enough that its feasible to let mom handle the child care exclusively for a few hours after my repair jobs. However, I'm sure plenty of auto-mechanics and shop workers have had this problem so I'd like to know how they solve it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4626" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T21:16:11.263" Title="Removing petroleum based grease from my skin before handling my infant" Tags="|infant|hygiene|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8581" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8583" CreationDate="2013-08-03T17:34:09.180" Score="2" ViewCount="309" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Age: 1.5 months.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The newborn can't be seated on her back for sure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any special kind of vessel available for seating and bathing newborns?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;How do you bathe a newborn in a &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;stressfree&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; way when you don't have anyone to help you? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-08-03T17:40:16.627" LastActivityDate="2013-08-03T20:55:22.033" Title="How to single handedly bathe a newborn?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8581" CreationDate="2013-08-03T19:41:59.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why can't the newborn be seated on her back? That is the safe position for them to sleep. My five week old daughter has always been fussy and even with two people, she HATES bath time, so I can't offer tips for it being stress free. However, we sponge bath her with a wash cloth rotating her half way to clean her back, and its certainly safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consult your pediatrician of course, but one thing we do is fold her ears over to prevent water from dripping in them when washing her hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants cry and get distressed a lot. My daughter screams bloody murder when you change her onsie. She quickly gets over it  though. If she doesn't like bathing, you have to accept that, and focus on keeping it safe and minimizing distress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4626" LastActivityDate="2013-08-03T19:41:59.113" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8581" CreationDate="2013-08-03T20:55:22.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is what we did - it was very straightforward with a little planning and preparation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Place your baby on a towel next to the bath.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prepare a small bath (you can buy baby baths) or prepare a shallow bath with a non-slip mat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure the water is not too hot or cold. Either use water only, or add a splash of mild baby soap or oil if needed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a clean face cloth and cotton wool balls beside the bath, as well as a towel, nappy and fresh clothes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have some wipes ready as well (you never know if your baby will decide to explode during bathing!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Undress your baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use two hands to place your baby in the bath, then cup her head with one hand, using a couple of fingers under the armpit, a couple over her shoulder, and your thumb on the other shoulder. This way you can support her, keep her head out of the water, and stop her slipping down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First wash your baby's eyes, using a fresh cotton bud for each eye&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Similarly for the ears, trying to avoid water going in the ears&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then using a face cloth, wash most of the rest of her body.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then lift her out and place her on the towel, and wrap it round her. Towels with a hood are quite a good way to wrap your baby so she warms up quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dress her, and when she is wrapped up, place her back on the towel on the floor while you drain the bath and pop used cotton buds etc in the bin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-08-03T20:55:22.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8578" CreationDate="2013-08-04T01:36:24.837" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids would do this when they were hungry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2936" LastActivityDate="2013-08-04T01:36:24.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8560" CreationDate="2013-08-04T01:46:46.280" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies can do some odd movements and often if it's something new for them, they try it over and over again for awhile. At one point when my daughter was little and having trouble sleeping, she did this weird head shaking thing that looked very neurological but when we got her back to sleeping more, it went away (or maybe she just got tired of it). I seem to remember some other weird movements that also went away over time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something to think about is that if it were something bad neurologically, it would probably be involuntary, and she probably wouldn't do it consistently in response to stimuli if it were neurological. She might see something in your excited response that makes her keep doing it too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can definitely be hard to not worry about them with all the different things they do, but usually it goes away after a few weeks. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2936" LastActivityDate="2013-08-04T01:46:46.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8564" CreationDate="2013-08-04T03:38:30.660" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is one more thing in addition to KeithS's great answer.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You can just involve your child into your tasks simply by showing what you do and describing it to the child (i.e. &quot;You see, now I'm putting the plate on the table, then I'll wash the dishes&quot;, &quot;I wash the dishes with water&quot;).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Every new word, every new concept will have an impact on your child. By the way it will learn new things. Later the child will want to help you with your tasks, as it will know what to do and how.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4628" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-08-05T15:31:37.487" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T15:31:37.487" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8591" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8592" CreationDate="2013-08-04T10:21:31.253" Score="2" ViewCount="1256" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old niece sometimes behaves very violently. She so much enjoys hitting me with tab/doll/spoon/bottle or whatever she has. She hits very hard. I try to take the things away from her. But she is very stubborn and won't give those items to me. She is very intelligent otherwise. She is very witty and quick to reply. She has very good observation skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, unwillingly, I would threaten her with a slap, she still doesn't relent. So I feel a little irritated at my inability to handle such situations. Also, she has a tendency to spoil things. She would tear the newspaper/books. She would keep throwing things away. She is not at all obedient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she was hitting me very hard on my head with a water bottle. I tried to take the bottle away but she didn't let me. I tried telling her how it hurts me, she still didn't relent. Then I picked another bottle and hit mildly on her head (not at all out of frustration, just to make her aware that it's not good to hit others. I admit my method was wrong.), but she still kept hitting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I was about to go out of the room to call her parents when she immediately hit my nephew on the head. I saw that she hit very hard. Immediately, I slapped her on the face. She cried for about 20 minutes. I felt very bad. Now I always keep my room shut so that she doesn't enter. Because she would spoil everything in the room. I really wish somebody could help me how to deal with this situation. I just want her to behave properly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel very very sad when her mother keeps slapping her daily. I have told her not to slap the child but she wants the kid to obey her. What are the ways to teach such kids, surely slapping is not one of them? Because anyways it's not working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4632" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-06-05T12:24:56.533" LastActivityDate="2019-06-05T12:24:56.533" Title="How to tackle my violent 3-year-old niece?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|violence|extended-family|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8591" CreationDate="2013-08-04T14:27:05.880" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my children were growing up we had several mantras, and one was &quot;we don't hit&quot;. You really cannot teach a child not to hit by hitting them, nor not to scream by screaming at them etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dealing physically with a hitter is easier when you have been picking them up and holding them your whole life. A toddler can be very strong and squirmy, and you can't be sure how firm you can be without hurting them. Taking thing from them is also hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learn how to pick her up in a way that makes it hard for her to hurt you. This usually means from behind with your arms around her waist, and holding her reasonably close to you so she doesn't have enough room to kick you really hard. Say to her &quot;don't hit me! We don't hit.&quot; The first sentence can be in an agitated or excited tone, but the second should be calm.(You can also say &quot;I won't let you hurt me&quot; in a way that reassures her you are protecting her from doing something wrong.) Now walk her somewhere slightly different. Another room, another part of the same room - you're just changing her environment. Put her down, and remind her of your confidence in her. &quot;I know you can play without hurting me.&quot; Or perhaps &quot;it's more fun to play without hurting anyone.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, direct her specifically to an activity. &quot;Would you like to colour now?&quot; or &quot;Here are some blocks to build with.&quot; Toddlers really can't process &quot;don't X&quot; very well. They do much better when you tell them what to do instead. If she was hitting for a reason - for example because another child took her toy, or because you gave her something she didn't want - tell her a better way to express her feelings. &quot;Use your words, not your hands&quot; is the most common phrasing here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the matter of possessions. It's a lot to ask of a toddler that they live surrounded by things that could be broken or ripped, and never touch them. These things don't mean the same to her as to you. She doesn't read the newspaper. Its value to her is how cool it feels when it crumples and rips. Keeping your room closed, and keeping things you don't want her to touch out of her reach, isn't something to feel bad about. It's how to protect her from doing something wrong that she can't understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-08-04T14:27:05.880" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8580" CreationDate="2013-08-04T20:35:59.577" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A family member of mine is a mechanic with a baby. Typically, mechanics wear disposable gloves, not only to keep hands clean but to reduce exposure to solvents and chemicals that can be absorbed through the skin. There are many options available which can be purchased online or through a hardware store or auto parts store. You can choose from latex, chloroprene (grip well in wet, puncture resistant), nitrile gloves (come in several thicknesses, seriously puncture resistant, used in medicine), and synthetic gloves (like latex but for people allergic to latex).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a store, these generally come in boxes of 50 or 100, and when ordering online sometimes they are sold in cases (10 boxes of 50-100 gloves). So if you are searching online and they seem expensive, check to see how many gloves you are getting - it could be 1000!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-08-05T00:09:34.717" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T00:09:34.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7299" CreationDate="2013-08-05T01:47:39.167" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are actual clinical studies that prove Gliadin, the protein from gluten, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nature.com/pr/journal/v20/n7/abs/pr1986198a.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;does pass through breastmilk&lt;/a&gt; (also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9867098&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;). My baby has gluten intolerance and me being gluten free has kept her symptoms away. Her pediatrician thinks she may have celiac disease. She had terrible stomach cramps and also severe diarrhea (10 times a day). We tested it multiple times with me on a total elimination diet and only introducing either dairy or wheat months apart. She had reactions to both but very different reactions &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4636" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-05T12:07:39.893" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T12:07:39.893" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8595" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-05T03:16:03.630" Score="2" ViewCount="193" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3673/2221&quot;&gt;The Gripewater seems to be not so healthy&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What are the healthy alternatives to the Gripewater?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answers with references will be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T07:53:52.853" Title="What are the alternatives to the Gripewater?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8597" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-05T07:12:32.390" Score="11" ViewCount="3464" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 27 years old and I live with my fiance. Every time I happen to meet my friends and my parents are around, or whenever my fiance meets my parents, my parents start ridiculing me. They start telling stories of when I was still a child and twisting tales to make me look stupid and like an imbecile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I confront them they become verbally abusive and they spend days on end not talking to me just because I stand up for my rights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is that? Why do they act the way they do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4638" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-10T12:12:53.640" LastActivityDate="2017-12-18T02:15:58.153" Title="Why do my parents start ridiculing me in front of my friends?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8595" CreationDate="2013-08-05T07:53:52.853" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends where you are. In the UK there is infacol, dentinox colic drops, and a few other brands. I have no references to go with this, my own personal experience is that infacol didn't seem to work and dentinox did. This may be due to my own child rather than the treatment itself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The think I found that contributed most to improving my child's stomach was changing formula and bottle types. We started out with tommee tippee botttles and SMA formula, then we changed to dr browns bottles and aptamil formula. The differences were remarkable. So if you are bottle feeding consider making changes to those things before trying a colic remedy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T07:53:52.853" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8599" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-05T13:35:24.070" Score="4" ViewCount="825" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started to potty train our 3-year-old daughter about a week ago, after she showed the initial signs by asking to wear underwear &quot;like mom and dad&quot;. We explained to her it means she must use the potty or toilet for pee and poo and she appeared to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Potty turned out to be &quot;too boring&quot; and she refused to sit on it, so we showed her the toilet seat for kids we also bought and she was all happy and cheerful, sitting on it without a problem and feeling really adult for using mom's and dad's toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, ever since then she just holds both pee and poo, and crying when it's finally arriving and causing either a puddle (usually on the floor) or a mess in her underwear. It happened many times by now. Things we tried, to no avail:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Telling her constantly &quot;you have pee? please go to the toilet to check&quot;. Most of the times she just says &quot;no&quot; and doesn't go, sometimes she will go, sit for a few minutes, say &quot;I'm done&quot; without doing anything and go away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taking her to the toilet every 10 minutes or so even if she says she doesn't need to. Most of the time, she refuses to sit and when she agrees to sit, see #1 above.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After every &quot;miss&quot; explain to her kindly that next time she has to tell us &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; it happens and go to the toilet. She just nods her head and says yes but... nothing really changing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She goes to day care, where most of the other kids are already potty trained and while there she does reach the toilet in time (they also have toilet seats for kids) though not always, but it means she can tell when it's coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else can we do at home to encourage her to use the toilet? Why the different behavior between home and day care?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worth to mention that during the night she still wears diapers, we prefer to wait until she's trained during the day before starting the nights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-05T12:31:23.217" LastActivityDate="2019-12-13T08:26:28.730" Title="How to encourage our 3-year-old, who has 100% &quot;miss&quot; at home, to use the toilet?" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8599" CreationDate="2013-08-05T13:48:21.523" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;She might have some sort of fear or concern about going potty that she's unable to verbalize; talk to her.  A lot.  Maybe she's scared it will hurt, maybe the unknown is bothering her, maybe she's afraid that once she's not wearing diapers/pullups any longer, she'll embarrass herself?  There are books that we used that helped quite a bit too:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0613685725&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Everyone Poops&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1433801310&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;It Hurts When I Poop&lt;/a&gt; were greatly loved during our first bout of potty training (another one is coming up soon!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just anecdata but might be helpful: our daughter was all gung-ho for going potty like a big kid, but then would only go at school and at home she fought it tooth and nail.  I sat her down once and asked her a bunch of questions about it and finally, after a long set of 'no's, discovered she was scared of what happens to the pee &amp;amp; poo after it is flushed.  We have a septic system, and I explained that it goes under the yard to play with Mommy &amp;amp; Daddy's pees &amp;amp; poos, and after that she was just fine.  And even though she was a very articulate 3-yr-old, trying to tell me exactly why she was reluctant to use the potty was past her ability to verbalize until I asked the right question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T13:48:21.523" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8597" CreationDate="2013-08-05T15:39:07.983" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why they do it is not really answerable - they could be jealous of your life outside their world, upset that their baby has grown up, they maybe miss you...etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure confrontation is the right way to go about things, but you should point out that what they are doing is making you miserable and less likely to spend time with them. If they want you as part of their lives they should respect your feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they aren't prepared to do that, and ignore you when you challenge them on the subject, maybe spend some time not talking to them. It is a bit confrontational, and it may not be the most constructive action, but you will get some space, and they may realise they want you in their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T15:39:07.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8597" CreationDate="2013-08-05T17:13:43.993" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;They probably don't mean any harm by it, and see it as all in good fun.  It's hard for some people to recognize when they've crossed the line between fun and ridicule.  Also, that line is different for different people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to deal with it is to dish it back.  Speaking as one of those people who sometimes has problems noticing he crossed the line, I can tell you that's one of the most effective ways to  make the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's not your style, make sure to not let the stories go on and on before finally saying something.  Your parents will take your silence as tacit assent.  It doesn't have to be confrontational, just say something like, &quot;I don't like these kind of stories, can we talk about something else?&quot;  The longer you go without saying something, the harder it is for them to understand your objection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T17:13:43.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8603" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8604" CreationDate="2013-08-05T20:23:38.950" Score="12" ViewCount="23749" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am planning for a long road trip (about 17 hours of drive).  Is it safe for my one-year old baby to sleep in her car seat for such long hours?  How often should I stop to take a rest and how long should each rest be before continuing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4612" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T18:39:57.040" Title="Is it safe for one-year old baby to sleep in her car seat for long hours?" Tags="|infant|car-seat|driving|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8603" CreationDate="2013-08-05T22:01:37.260" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The bad news is your baby is going to make you stop whether you want to or not.  The good news is that makes it so you don't really have to guess how long is too long.  You know how long you go between diaper changes and feedings now.  Plan to stop at those intervals at the very least, then double it to get a probable worst case.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how long you should stop, your baby will cue you on that too.  Whenever you can put her back in the car seat without her immediately starting screaming.  We've had babies that you could just change a diaper and put them straight back in, and we've had babies that require 20 minutes of rocking before agreeing to go back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our rule of thumb is that traveling with children adds 50% to the time.  That means if google maps says 17 hours, we plan 26.  Also, our family can't take much more than 12 hours without stopping for the night, but we know families who just take turns sleeping while driving straight through and they do okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-08-05T22:01:37.260" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8606" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-06T08:34:37.727" Score="2" ViewCount="185" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our child's surviving great grandma doesn't get to see our son as much as she (or us) would like.   I would love to be able to setup a simple to use video phone for her to &quot;join us&quot; during playtime or even dinner (in the great room).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I engage a technophobic elder to try to use a video phone to communicate with us?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1644" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-07T16:08:23.943" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T16:08:23.943" Title="How to get a great-grandparent to use a video phone" Tags="|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8606" CreationDate="2013-08-06T13:59:37.873" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would provide the relative with the same hardware and software that you use. Whether that's a phone, a tablet, a netbook, a laptop, or whatever - you will be their only technical support and &quot;there should be a menu to let you adjust the volume, can you see anything that looks like a little speaker?&quot; isn't going to work. You will need to be able to say &quot;down in the bottom right, there is a triangle with a lot of little semi circles moving off from it to the right&quot; or &quot;on the Options menu, the 5th one down is Settings&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A visit that involves both setting it up and doing a test call from another room will take care of most of the issues. You can be sure that they have a microphone and a webcam and that everything is configured correctly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not attempt to try to teach the person all the background, such as the difference between a web page and an app, or email and typing in the Skype chat area. Focus on the benefit - use a video call if you want to see the baby and for the baby to see you. Start with only one modality - video call or facebook photos or vine or whatever - and add more if the relative says &quot;if only we could also ...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-08-06T13:59:37.873" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8608" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-06T20:57:47.737" Score="20" ViewCount="7614" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went to borrow bus fair from my sister this morning and found a small clear bottle with a small amount of marijuana and four mysteriously labeled, handmade pills in her change box. I don't know what to do: turn her in to my parents, or talk to her myself. I never saw her getting into this stuff, although this does explain how she's been acting (and her mood) around the house lately. I'm worried and scared and I do not have the slightest clue what to do. PS. I took the bottle and hid it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4644" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T18:43:21.070" Title="I am 24 years old. I found marijuana and ecstasy my 17 year old sister's room. What should I do?" Tags="|teen|drugs|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8609" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8627" CreationDate="2013-08-07T03:11:16.747" Score="2" ViewCount="2761" Body="&lt;p&gt;The baby is 1.5 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is currently being bottle fed.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;At what age should we replace the bottle with a cup, and how should we go ahead introducing the change?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-08-10T06:46:23.500" Title="For an infant, at what age should we replace the bottle with a cup, and how?" Tags="|infant|bottle-feeding|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2013-08-07T03:15:21.123" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a complicated issue that doesn't have an easy answer. Arguments for involving parents include protecting her from becoming an addict; substance abuse could ruin her life. Arguments against involving parents include the consequences (particularly legal, if your parents would involve law enforcement). Despite the stigma, there are worse things she could be doing than  (casually?) using drugs; both that you mentioned are comparable to alcohol, which everyone seems to mistakenly regard as safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd start by talking to her with love to find out why she's taking them and if she's using responsibly or abusing. Depending on what's going on, you'll have to decide what to do by weighing the risks and benefits of your choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just don't listen to cookie-cutter advice that claims there's only one right answer. The illicit drug stigma often causes people to overstate risks of substance use while ignoring the risks of involving the justice system. Don't pretend drugs are harmless though; tobacco, alcohol, pot, MDMA, etc. are all risky to abuse, but the legal/illegal distinction isn't that important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; You should at least make sure she understands the drugs and their possible interactions with other substances. Consider the fatal alcohol and MDMA interaction described in the answer by @ChristopherW; it would certainly be tragic if she died from ignorance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2013-08-07T06:44:34.193" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T06:44:34.193" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2013-08-07T04:55:33.380" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an iffy situation, especially if you have a good relationship with your sister. On one hand, you don't want her to be mad at you and on the other, you want her to be safe and you want to protect her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, not doing anything is wrong. It would be turning a blind eye to a potentially dangerous situation. If something &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; happen to her in the future and you hadn't done anything, you'd regret it for the rest of your life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, you &lt;strong&gt;cannot&lt;/strong&gt; defeat this by yourself and you can't approach this with a mind for her rehabilitation. You coming to this site and asking for help in and of itself proves that you are incapable. You are not a trained professional and all the worry, doubt, conviction, love, caring you could put into her mind that would convince a normal person won't do a thing over the power of addiction. Trust me, I tried to handle it myself with a friend who was a cocaine addict. It didn't turn out well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, tell someone. Approach her first, but don't let her convince you to not tell someone else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this was just pot, then whatever. That's less harmful than some legal drugs. Ecstasy however is a different subject. A 15 year old girl at my high school actually died because of combining a drug with ecstasy and alcohol. The school was devastated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not&lt;/strong&gt; do this on your own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not let her convince you that &quot;It will be ok&quot;. It's never ok.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I reiterate, get help!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have the fear that she will hate you, she probably will...temporarily. But which sister would you have 5 years from now. The drug user who hates you and everyone else because internally she hates herself or the one who is healthy and loves you that much more for being by her side?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tread carefully and good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="16319" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T18:43:21.070" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T18:43:21.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8609" CreationDate="2013-08-07T06:56:57.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than an age, I'd watch for when she can manipulate a toy well with one hand. By 'well' I mean she can control its orientation and position with enough accuracy that water/milk won't spill everywhere. Once she can do that, just give her a small cup about 1/4 filled to start with; she should get the hang of it within a few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that we started my son around 12 months old, though we could have done it sooner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T06:56:57.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7888" CreationDate="2013-08-07T07:03:27.320" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though not specifically related to singing, a great trick to get children to be quiet is to fairly quietly do something interesting that requires them to listen. This could be playing a favorite song/cartoon on low volume or talking to them about their favorite subject. Just make sure it's so quiet that they have to be nearly still and silent to listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This certainly works on babies though your son may be getting too old. Usually by five they'll blow you off when you try this unless you have an unusually good listener.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T07:03:27.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8615" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8624" CreationDate="2013-08-07T12:14:00.600" Score="5" ViewCount="117667" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little girl started sleeping all night long when she was 3mo. She was sleeping from 11:00PM to 7:00AM, without waking up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shortly after she turned 4mo, she woke up during 2 days, screaming and crying, and we thought she was beginning to dream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, 5mo old, she has begun to wake up twice every night. Not at the same time, though; there is a 1 hour variation. Her diapers are a bit wet, but just as they were previously. She begins to make noises, the she begins to cry a little, and I wake up, change her diapers, she breastfeeds for some 15 minutes, and we put her in her cradle again. After about 5 minutes she falls back to sleep&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? I read somewhere that after 4mo she would do this, since she would begin to dream, but I can't find the source anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And how long does this take? :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-08T12:16:19.577" LastActivityDate="2016-10-09T00:41:43.713" Title="Our infant was sleeping through the night, but at 5 months old started waking up in the middle of the night; is this from starting to dream?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6617" CreationDate="2013-08-07T13:02:25.977" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find this question hard to answer because it is conflating several things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the ability to type/mouse/swipe enough to get stuff done&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;official &quot;touch typing&quot; instruction with &quot;home row&quot; and all that where people type meaningless exercises like asdf&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the ability to make some sort of readable marks on paper such as writing down a phone number or a shopping list, or signing a birthday card&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;official &quot;printing&quot; instruction where the letters must be the right shape (I remember a teacher reprimanding my oldest for writing an e by starting with a counterclockwise three-quarter circle and then drawing the horizontal bar - she actually declared the resulting shape was not an e!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;official &quot;cursive&quot; instruction which is even more demanding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time your child is old enough to go out into the world, they should be able to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;type up an essay, report, long email, blog post etc (thousands of words) without being hampered by how slowly they type or how much they have to back up and fix mistakes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;write a handful of words for purely practical purposes that others can clearly read (notes, directions, shopping lists)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use the available technology for intermediate length writing - sometimes pen and paper, sometimes a smartphone, sometimes a computer. I used to call my own phone and leave myself voice mail if I thought of things while I was out of the house. It was easier for me than a note.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the age of 6 or 7 the most important thing is &quot;I can create words just like the book authors, web authors, tv people do.&quot; The next most important thing is being able to read their own notes. Whether typed or written, they can be idiosyncratic. You explain something; they draw a diagram or write some words for themselves. Later, they can understand what they recorded. At this stage pen/paper vs keyboard is pretty much just personal preference. Some kids will prefer to be able to change the size of the letters as they write, or to intersperse drawings with words, so they will like pen (maybe 5 colors of pen!) and paper. Others will like being able to fix mistakes, use bold and italic, and have a spell checker, so they will want to use a keyboard and word processing app. Let their style control which one predominates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Should a kid who loves pen and paper end up not able to type in URLs or sign in to web sites quickly, that's a fixable problem when it arises and the motivation is there. Similarly a kid who wants to type all notes and then can't &quot;put eggs on the shopping list for me&quot; has a fixable problem that can be tackled when it arises.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By 8 or 9, you may feel that they are typing too slowly or writing too slowly, or that their writing is hard to read, and you may want to offer some instruction to solve that deficiency. By age 12 or 13 you (or they) may feel their handwriting is too childish and they may want to practice their cursive to have a more &quot;adult hand&quot; for things like writing thankyou notes or birthday cards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, my experience trying to learn complicated and difficult material (say at the university level) is that writing it out by hand &quot;burns it into the brain&quot; in a different way than reading it or typing it. So does reading it aloud. There is a &lt;em&gt;difference&lt;/em&gt; between handwriting something and typing something. By the time your child is 16 they should be good at both, along with memorizing and repeating small things like a sonnet, a soliloquy or the like. These are life skills for future instruction and learning. But they are probably not relevant to a 6 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-07T13:08:58.493" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T13:08:58.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2013-08-07T13:15:58.907" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would talk to a professional first. I was friends with a drug addict for a while, and in my experience they can be masters at deflection. For example, if you confront your sister, my guess is that she'd say she's keeping the pills for someone else. A professional could tell you what to expect from the confrontation, and give you some pointers on what to do and what to avoid doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for whether you should tell the parents, it really depends on the parents. In most cases I would say that the parents should be told, but it's your call. From what I've seen, the emotional damage of nobody reacting can be worse than the physical damage that drugs like these can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're a student, I'd go to a college counsellor and tell about your situation. If not, to some other consellor if you have the chance, maybe someone who deals with troubled youths. There might also be some helplines in the phone book, which you could call to describe the situation. If your sister really has a drug problem, the whole family might need some form of help. If she doesn't, someone who is more into the subject matter could help you see that the situation is more benign than you initially thought. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2013-08-18T16:34:26.953" LastActivityDate="2013-08-18T16:34:26.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7158" CreationDate="2013-08-07T22:06:33.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another way to start the conversation with the &quot;Nanny&quot; would be to express sympathy for how difficult it can be when kids are being defiant. Offer her tips about what works for you when your child is acting that way. Often parents will resort to spanking when they don't have other tools in their toolbox. Give her a few more tools to work with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T22:06:33.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8482" CreationDate="2013-08-07T22:24:35.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem of tooth decay is not so much regular feedings with the bottle itself, but the habit of the baby going to sleep while eating or drinking something with sugar in it and having that sugary liquid sit in the mouth for hours at a time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would think trying to feed a 1 month old with a spoon would be nearly impossible. Spoon feeding starts with solids like baby cereals around 4-6 months of age. Even then, they get more on the bib than in their stomach, so they still get the bulk of their food from bottle and/or breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More tips are here:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/guide/what-is-baby-bottle-tooth-decay&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/guide/what-is-baby-bottle-tooth-decay&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2013-08-07T22:24:35.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8615" CreationDate="2013-08-08T09:08:39.913" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children generally wake up in the night if they are hungry, need a diaper change, or simply aren't tired. From your post it doesn't sound as if she is hungry, or needs a nappy change, so the likely explanation for your child waking in the night is that she is getting too much sleep in the day, and isn't tired enough to sleep through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As children get older they need less sleep in total, and children will need fewer or shorter naps during the day. You could try shortening one of your child's naps by 30 minutes in the day and see if that improves the situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-08-08T09:08:39.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8615" CreationDate="2013-08-08T12:59:01.260" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have seen so many different ages quoted for the start of dreaming that I have given up on determining when it actually starts. For example in Parenting sleep expert Jodi Mindell &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/do-babies-dream&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;says that&lt;/a&gt; newborns may actually be dreaming in REM sleep, though only in images and not in words, but nightmares probably don't begin until 2 or 3. Again researchers &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/truth-dreams-nightmares-night-terrors/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;are reported&lt;/a&gt; according to this pediatrician to have shown that newborns dream but nightmares don't begin until around 3. According to Scientific American some scientists believe that while REM sleep occurs in newborns &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=when-do-human-beings-start-to-dream&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;dreams don't happen until much later&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many factors which can cause poor sleep around five months of age. While the majority of babies will probably not get teeth until a couple months later some babies genuinely are teething at this age and during the week or so around cutting teeth may experience difficulty sleeping. A pediatrician I know pointed me to &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/3/471.full.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this recent study&lt;/a&gt; which showed that the correlation between tooth erruption and the symptoms parents most commonly consider to be teething symptoms &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; statistically significant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another factor is the experience of a mental developmental leap in the weeks leading up to the six month birthday. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-5/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wonder Week 26&lt;/a&gt; is the name given to this leap by the researchers who describe it. During this leap your child begins to understand distances and separation, including the fact that you are distant from your child and the fact that your child is actually quite a small infant. This can be very alarming information to someone who has not understood it before and can cause restless sleep as your child processes it. This leap forms the roots for separation anxiety which may plague your child anytime between now and 18 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another cause of wake-ups may be an inappropriate nap schedule. Children at this age should be on two or three naps. A child on two naps will have around 3 hours between sleep periods. A child on 3 will have up to 2 1/2 at this age. Your child should have a maximum of 9 hours total awake during 24 hours at this age according to &lt;a href=&quot;https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/edit?hl=en&amp;amp;authkey=CPXE1bsO&amp;amp;pli=1#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this chart&lt;/a&gt;. If your child has just dropped his or her 3rd nap or is showing signs (such as extended play before naps or very short naps of 30-45 minutes each) of needing to drop a nap then the total daytime awake time will be lower during the nap transition. If your child is having sleep disruptions but not ready to drop to 2 naps you may need to do a little nap limiting so your child can still fit in 3 naps. A common 3 nap schedule is 1.75-2 hours from morning wake up to first nap, 2-2.25 between nap #1 and nap #2, 2.25-2.5 hours between nap #2 and nap #3, 2.25-2.5 between nap #2 and bed. Once it takes 2.5 hours or more for your child to reach his or her first nap then it is time to consider switching to 2 naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Between four and six months of age your child may begin to exhibit the signs of readiness for solid foods. You may want to discuss with your pediatrician whether or not it is time to start your child on solid foods. Though rice cereal and other grains have been shown to have no effect on infant sleep, some mothers theorize that filling solids containing fats and proteins do help children not be hungry at night. Note that this theory is entirely based on parental experience and I have absolutely no studies to back it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing about these wake-ups may be less what causes them and more your reaction to them. Your reaction will depend very much on your nighttime parenting philosophy. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/principles.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Attachment parents&lt;/a&gt; believe that your constant soothing of an upset child is required for emotional health and will usually respond by bedsharing, night feeding, and other soothing tactics. These parents trust research which says that very hands-on parenting leads to more emotionally stable individuals later in life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents who follow the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0449004023&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Weissbluth Method&lt;/a&gt;, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferber_method&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ferber method&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentsconnect.com/parenting-your-kids/kids-sleeping/good-night-sleep-lady-shuffle.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sleep help fading&lt;/a&gt;, or other sleep training methods have a different philosophy. They have read the studies on the importance of age-appropriate sleep amounts and sleep consolidation and seek to promote sleep for the whole family. It is important for these families to continue to use a variant of their chosen method to encourage independent sleep during sleep disruptions. If a family has sleep trained their child using the Ferber method and then begins bedsharing or nursing back to sleep during a disruption it sends a conflicting message to the child - sometimes if the child cries he or she will be helped to sleep and sometimes not. This creates an inconsistently reinforced habit of night waking. &lt;a href=&quot;http://isabelagranic.com/consistency-is-key-when-using-any-sleeptraining-technique/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Inconsistent reinforcement&lt;/a&gt; of a habit creates the &lt;strong&gt;strongest&lt;/strong&gt; habit! So if you already have a method you have used to get your child sleeping through the night, do not change it due to these wakings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have just been rolling with your child's good sleep up until this point, now is the time when you need to decide how to handle night wakings. Do you want to comfort to sleep at this age and up until a later age? Do you want to implement some form of sleep training? Do you want to wait ten minutes to see if your child can settle, then do a check for diaper changes and hunger, then sit in the room until your child falls asleep? Figure out what is sustainable for your family and what your doctor recommends and do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-08-08T12:59:01.260" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5415" CreationDate="2013-08-08T13:07:14.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would present this as &quot;some people are not able to do things we think are ordinary.&quot; By now he has presumably met or seen or heard of someone who cannot walk, or who cannot see or hear. Some are born with a disability, some acquire it through disease or accident. And our society does what it can to help - ramps next to stairs, sign language interpreters, and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the same way, some people cannot follow our rules about behaving well. It's not that they don't want to, or can't be bothered, they can't do it. And in the long run that can lead to not being able to work, or to live with other people. It's really sad. There are some things we as a society do to help, but they don't all work. Some people try to help by giving money for food; some people think that doesn't really help. It's complicated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[Yes, some people end up homeless when there is nothing wrong with them through sheer bad luck - a layoff with no support network to help you, that sort of thing. I believe that is less common in Vancouver than in some other places. But some stay homeless and some do not, and some of that is about their mental state - even if being homeless caused that mental state. For explaining to a child, focusing on bad luck or bad decisions in the explanation strikes me as unfair and either blaming the homeless person or worrying the child that this could be their future. I would avoid both even if that meant glossing over some possible explanations of how this person ended up in this situation.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one thing to avoid here is some sort of logic that connects your child's occasional transgressions (like being loud in the grocery store or not sharing nicely) with the fate of the clearly crazy homeless guy begging for money. To that end you might want to emphasize the biological and nonvoluntary aspects of mental illness a little more than the actual facts of the matter would support. I think also 4 is too young to mention the role that substance abuse may play. (Besides, that's complicated. A childhood friend of mine ended up homeless and schizophrenic after a lot of substance abuse and it seems in hindsight that the glue etc was self medication for how his illness made him feel more than it was the cause of it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would do my best to take a tone of &quot;these are people who need help but we might not be the people to help&quot; and not &quot;these are scary people, stay away from them, and pray you don't end up like them&quot; especially to a 4 year old. Most homeless people would never hurt anyone, much less a child. They make us uncomfortable because we can't be sure, but they are not a clear and obvious threat at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for why he retells the story, here is someone clearly breaking the rules. He knows you don't just talk to people in a restaurant and ask them for stuff. He knows you are supposed to wear shoes or that you don't wear a winter coat in the summer. He knows adults follow the rules and he probably thinks all adults are interchangeable. Yet here is an adult, one who should know better, who is breaking a ton of rules. Why? IS that an option? That's why I think a suitable-for-4 explanation is that the person simply cannot follow the rules, just as some people cannot walk. You can acknowledge which societal norms are being broken and reaffirm your commitment to those norms, while at the same time talking about how to help people who have a problem, to the limit of your abilities. (You wouldn't try to set a broken leg on the street but you might help change a stranger's flat tire.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-09T20:40:29.447" LastActivityDate="2013-08-09T20:40:29.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8609" CreationDate="2013-08-08T14:14:13.500" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatricians recommends stopping bottle useage at age 1. Many pediatricians recommend making the switch away from the bottle by 15 months. Others set the limit at 18 months. A few say the switch is not necessary until 2. The concerns with extended bottle feeding are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children who were still bottle feeding at age 2 were more likely to be obese later in life. See the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476%2811%2900242-3/fulltext&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt; for more details.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bottle feeding often throughout the day and especially at night can cause an increased risk for tooth decay.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bottle feeding late in toddlerhood can cause speech issues or tooth deformation issues the same way that pacifier usage in late toddlerhood can.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scienceofmom.com/2012/12/21/does-my-child-drink-too-much-milk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Studies&lt;/a&gt; show that drinking too much cow's milk, which is often what toddlers are drinking from a bottle, can interfe with iron absorption and cause children to eat too little from other food groups. Around 16 oz. is the pediatrician recommended amount of cow's milk for a toddler daily.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While a few parents go directly from a bottle to a sturdy, open tumbler, most parents use a sippy cup or a straw cup as a transitional cup. The straw cup is considered superior for oral motor development. The choice is entirely up to you. Our pediatric dentist did recommend not using a sippy cup for too long as the sippy cup is not helpful for oral motor skills or teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually a cup of water is introduced at mealtimes when solid foods are introduced. This cup is more for practice than for hydration. There are usually three methods of making the final transition for toddlers over 12 months of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eliminate one bottle at a time - for the morning bottle simply move breakfast earlier. For the bedtime bottle, if you still have one, replace it with extra snuggles or another comfort method. Drop one bottle a week to ease the transition, but do not go back once you have dropped a bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cold turkey - simply stop offering the bottle and replace it with a cup of milk at mealtimes. This may cause some frustration for your toddler for a few days, but many toddlers make the switch easily after this point. Transitioning to a sippy cup with a soft silicon spoud such as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nuk-usa.com/all-products/learner-cups.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Nuk Learner Cup&lt;/a&gt; or the &lt;a href=&quot;http://nuby.com/en/nuby/cups-spouts/9644/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Nuby Soft Spout&lt;/a&gt; cups can help ease the transition because they mimic the bottle nipple fairly well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wait it out - wait until your child allows you to replace the bottle feedings with meals and milk at meals. This method is often what leads to longer bottle feeding, but for families who are unwilling to endure the crankiness of a cold turkey transition it is basically the only other option. Again you can encourage use of an easy transitional cup here to try to speed the transition.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sites like the very pro-breastfeeding &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kellymom.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;kellymom.com&lt;/a&gt; also provide alternatives to the bottle for infants under 1 year of age. For example they recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding-tools/alternative-feeding/#Cup&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cup feeding&lt;/a&gt; using a cup such as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.foleycup.com/aboutus.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Foley cup&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://noahsdad.com/drinking-from-straw-cup/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This resource&lt;/a&gt; also talks about teaching a special needs child how to use a straw cup and gives you all sorts of resources on straw cup useage. So should you desire to move away from the bottle in the 4 to 6 month range, it is possible though not necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2013-08-08T17:33:25.347" LastActivityDate="2013-08-08T17:33:25.347" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4295" CreationDate="2013-08-09T01:08:23.717" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start teaching Czech reading and writing right away! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My older sisters and I were all taught to read and write Russian at home at the same time as we started going to school and learning English reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But by the time my little sister came along my mom had a full time job and couldn't dedicate as much time to teaching her to read and write. She knows how, but not nearly as well as my older sisters and I, because it wasn't as strong in her schooling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother would read Russian books to us from birth on, so we learned to distinguish Russian characters from English characters even before we could read ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people say learning 2 languages at the same time (speaking or reading/writing) can hinder development but I completely disagree. The fact that I learned to read Russian at the same time I learned to read English means I am equally capable in both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4652" LastActivityDate="2013-08-09T01:08:23.717" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8629" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8630" CreationDate="2013-08-09T02:20:05.890" Score="9" ViewCount="6044" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nephew is 3 years old, and like most boys, loves to run around naked.  Sometimes we can't go somewhere we were planning to go because he refuses to get dressed again (although candy usually will do the trick).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do parents usually deal with this? Or will he just grow out of it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4652" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-11-24T07:49:19.793" LastActivityDate="2016-11-26T11:15:01.227" Title="How to teach a pre-schooler to wear clothes?" Tags="|pre-schooler|clothes|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8629" CreationDate="2013-08-09T13:18:51.633" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't personally subscribe to &quot;children should be allowed to run around naked all the time&quot; concept, though I know parents who do.  Though I have had issues with getting my son out of his pajamas and into regular clothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started by making it a rule that the first thing we do when we get up in the morning is get dressed.  I do it, my husband does it, I get my daughter dressed, and my son gets dressed.  At that point, getting undressed is more of a pain in the butt than just staying dressed.  There is no wandering around the house in our pajamas unless we're sick or something.  That may or may not be something you have any control over.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, if you know you're going to need to leave at 2:00 to get somewhere start encouraging him to get dressed at least an hour before.  Let him pick out which shirt he wants to wear (or pick between 2 shirts), make it a game to see if  he can get dressed before a timer you set goes off.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If push comes to shove and you absolutely &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; be somewhere and he refuses to get dressed, keep in mind that he's three.  You are bigger and you can dress him.  He might fight and pitch a fit, but I'm going to guess it's not the first time he's thrown a fit.  Telling a 3 year old that he won't get to go do something fun when he's all ready having fun running around naked isn't usually going to motivate him to get dressed and go do something else even if you know he'd enjoy it, too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; grow out of it--he probably would--but he might be 4 or 5 before that happens.  At some point something is going to necessitate him getting up and getting dressed on a regular basis (school, for example).  Plus, at age three, now is a good time to start working with him on learning to dress himself.  Once he masters that, he might be more inclined to wear clothes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-08-09T13:18:51.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8629" CreationDate="2013-08-09T13:22:55.867" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;He has learned that if he doesn't get dressed he gets rewarded with candy. One thing I've learned is never to reward children for doing something basic that they should be doing anyway, otherwise they will expect a reward every time they do it. So:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give lots of extra time to get kids dressed. When planning I always leave 20 minutes for that with my 3 year old. Sure, it should take 2 minutes but it never does. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be patient, and give the child space to do it himself: it's very hard - you want to, need to leave - but if you lose your patience then it becomes a conflict. This is why it's so important to build in time for it to be done. With my son I give him the clothes and leave the room, otherwise I am very tempted to sit there and direct him, which is not productive&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make him understand that if he doesn't get dressed he won't get what he wants. Want to go to the zoo? Get dressed. Want to watch a cartoon? Get dressed. Want breakfast? get dressed. Try giving him a basic choice, for instance does he want to get dressed first or brush his teeth first, as children feel empowered if they have some choice. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-08-09T13:22:55.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5415" CreationDate="2013-08-09T17:59:26.363" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you have an answer that would satisfy yourself to explain homelessness and mental illness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without getting into debate about the causes and effects in this thread, I would consider your understanding of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would explain it based on that perspective.  To my own child, I'd say: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Some people aren't able to act the way they would like to, but most people can.  Sometimes when people can't control what they do, a Doctor can help them. But sometimes Doctors haven't learned how to help them yet, or those people don't go to see the Doctor.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Having a place to stay takes a lot of responsibility.  When people are not in control of what they do, they can't do the important things that let them have a place to stay.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Where we live, there are people who try to help those kinds of people to control themselves better.  But sometimes they say they don't want help, or we don't know how to help them.  When that happens, we have to let them do the best they can.  Sometimes they do things that we don't think is normal, and that might be weird or scary.  But they do the best they can.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer should likely be different than yours because you might not have the same opinion on the matter as I do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4655" LastActivityDate="2013-08-09T17:59:26.363" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8633" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8643" CreationDate="2013-08-10T07:31:59.753" Score="9" ViewCount="16861" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is 1.5 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have noticed that if sometimes there is a sudden and quite loud bang then she does sometimes startle.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;BUT&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We also shake the rattler near her sides but she never reacts to the sound by turning her head towards it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is this normal?&lt;/strong&gt; At what age should I expect a child to turn to the direction of the sound?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-09-16T08:21:50.453" LastActivityDate="2013-09-16T08:21:50.453" Title="At what age should I expect a child to turn to the direction of the sound?" Tags="|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3961" CreationDate="2013-08-10T07:56:47.640" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies as young as 5 months can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2011/11/21/1110306108.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;recognize prosocial behaviour&lt;/a&gt;.  By 8 months, they will even sympathize with characters who punish evildoers.  From those results, it's safe to say that babies have a sense of morality, at least when it comes to interpersonal relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might be able to extrapolate that babies around that age can recognize obedience as prosocial behaviour when they see it.  Whether they believe that that applies to themselves is a different issue.  Also, the rule about touching routers and lamps has to be learned, whereas a rule about not stealing from others is likely to be innate.  Finally, at any age, curiosity can always override obedience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short answer: at 5 months, the foundations of morality are definitely there.  Whether that means that obedience is possible at that age, I don't know.  Your own anecdote suggests that it certainly is possible by 10 months.  Then again, some teenagers and even adults never learn.  =)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2013-08-10T07:56:47.640" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8635" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8644" CreationDate="2013-08-10T11:04:09.323" Score="2" ViewCount="2037" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have noticed the 1.5 month old smiling when asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do newborns have dreams when they sleep? If yes, then what kind? If no, then what could be the reason of their sleep smiles?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-10T14:00:38.253" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T13:49:05.437" Title="Do newborns have dreams when they sleep?" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8636" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8647" CreationDate="2013-08-10T14:31:11.430" Score="1" ViewCount="242" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;does it help&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; and is possible &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;to be able to read and understand&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; the books like&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1434440826&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The power of your subconcious mind&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0671646788&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The magic of thinking big&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should these kind of books be introduced such that the child starts believing and implementing what's written there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2018-04-14T12:56:35.723" Title="What is the appropriate age for a kid to read and/or understand the books related to self confidence?" Tags="|education|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8332" CreationDate="2013-08-10T19:04:21.390" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thank you for asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is very young. It's not his obligation to conform to an adult friendly world. It is our obligation to make their environment safe until they understand. If you restrict your child constantly, that's what the brain will get accustomed to. Just like schools teach the terror of error which harms creativity. Watch Ken Robinsons Ted talk about that topic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just ask yourself one question. Despite having best intentions, would I like to be around someone who treats me like I treat my child? Be very honest there. Many parents get into habitual scolding and never realize that they wouldn't like to be treated that way themselves. Regarding respect, love and understanding, a child has exactly the same needs as any adult. There you should give him the rights of an adult. When it comes to the hot stove, there's the time to treat him like a child, knowing that a stove isn't something he can safely handle, making sure he can't operate it or come near it when it's on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a few days, take a notebook and count the positive and negative responses to your child. Make it measurable. You can't improve what you can't measure. There once was a statistic that children hear 17 no's for every yes. While the exact numbers are irrelevant, the tendency is clear. Would you like people who reject your behavior most of the time? How reassured does that make a child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a family nearby that uses the child's name to scold him. Dozens of times a day. What do you think will this child associate to his name? Failure. Error. Wrong. What will it associate to the mother who restricts him constantly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to be curious and they need to make errors. Whoever works against that need starts slowing down the young brain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, sit together and ask yourself: What part of your behavior serves your child, what part mostly serves yourself? Childproofing was mentioned. How many no's are REALLY needed? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very sure, you want to raise an intelligent, bright and happy kid that has the will power and moral strength to be a good person. And you can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to achieve that is to take a set amount of time per week and learn a lot about how children and people tick. One book a week. Then start practising the ideas that make sense. Constant and neverending improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4656" LastActivityDate="2013-08-10T19:04:21.390" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1169" CreationDate="2013-08-11T05:57:09.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What do you have to lose by letting him learn Mandarin early, and what do you have to gain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The worst-case scenario, if he learns, is that he is a native speaker of a somewhat &quot;imperfect&quot; version of the language. However, that will still put him ahead of where he would be learning the language later in life—and with far less effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any effort he would have to exert in correcting his learned mistakes is far outweighed by the effort of learning Mandarin at a later age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4658" LastActivityDate="2013-08-11T05:57:09.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8633" CreationDate="2013-08-12T09:18:18.123" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would guess that your baby considers the rattle to be background noise, whilst loud noises are said to be an innate fear. The first time we knew our daughter could hear was when my wife snapped some polystyrene pizza packaging in front of her pregnant belly and felt her flip!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned about your baby's hearing there are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2384.aspx?CategoryID=54&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hearing tests for babies (UK)&lt;/a&gt;, which our daughter was given in the first month. They used some kind of clever hand-held device which measures the nerve response to the noise, even though she didn't react visibly to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2013-08-12T09:18:18.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2013-08-12T12:55:31.653" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience is with a larger age gap than most of our multi-childed friends have; we have 8.5 years between my son (currently 10 and a quarter) and my daughter (currently 1 and three-quarters). Most of our friends have 2 or 3 year age gaps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Comparing my experience with theirs, the main thing I notice is that we all have our difficult periods at different times and for different reasons. For some specific examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;they often have to deal with two in nappies at once, or an older one potty training while they have a newborn, whereas my son was fully independent (and indeed able to be a real help) by the time my daughter was born&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I was plunged back into the world of sleepless nights and nappies and sore nipples after a good long gap, during which I had regained my equilibrium as a person, not just as a parent; whereas they get it all over with in one go (it's like the difference between making two small adjustments versus one large one, in some ways)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;it's sometimes easier for them to find outings or activities that will interest both or all of their children at the same time, whereas we end up doing quite a few things with one child per parent so we can go separate ways as appropriate&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;they often find their children competing for their attention in the same way at the same time, whereas I can multi-task mine quite well (for example doing a puzzle on the floor with my daughter while answering my son's questions about his maths homework)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are just a few examples but you get the gist. There are pros and cons each way and while I like my big age gap (the biggest problem has been people assuming that my daughter was a &amp;quot;mistake&amp;quot;!) it may not suit someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought I'd come back and add to this answer now that my son is 19 and my daughter is 10.5. Everything I wrote above still applies, with the appropriate adjustments for their ages (I'm no longer worrying about nappies and sore nipples, for example!) They absolutely adore each other, she missed him ever such a lot when he went off to university last year, and who knows how their relationship with each other will be when they're both adults, but it's really very good now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastEditorUserId="1477" LastEditDate="2022-09-05T08:21:59.927" LastActivityDate="2022-09-05T08:21:59.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8633" CreationDate="2013-08-12T12:58:26.573" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_warning-signs-of-a-hearing-problem-in-a-baby_6748.bc&quot;&gt;BabyCenter&lt;/a&gt;, in the 0-3 month range your child should be startling in response to loud noises as well as least visibly reacting. In the 4-8 month range your child should turn towards a noise he or she cannot see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.uofmchildrenshospital.org/fv/groups/internet/documents/web_content/turninghe_2010092621080629.pdf&quot;&gt;This document&lt;/a&gt; says that the skill should be developed in the 3-4 month range and also provides tips for encouraging this milestone if you are interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that newborns have very little control over their bodies. You will see an astronomical increase in your baby's ability to move arms, legs, head, and torso around 3-4 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-08-12T12:58:26.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8635" CreationDate="2013-08-12T13:06:15.657" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age smiling is often associated with gas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I mentioned in another answer, the question of whether or not newborns dream has not been conclusively answered. From that &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8624/2146&quot;&gt;answer&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I have seen so many different ages quoted for the start of dreaming that I have given up on determining when it actually starts. For example in Parenting sleep expert Jodi Mindell &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/do-babies-dream&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;says that&lt;/a&gt; newborns may actually be dreaming in REM sleep, though only in images and not in words, but nightmares probably don't begin until 2 or 3. Again researchers &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/truth-dreams-nightmares-night-terrors/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;are reported&lt;/a&gt; according to this pediatrician to have shown that newborns dream but nightmares don't begin until around 3. According to Scientific American some scientists believe that while REM sleep occurs in newborns &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=when-do-human-beings-start-to-dream&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;dreams don't happen until much later&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-08-12T13:06:15.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7299" CreationDate="2013-08-12T17:16:23.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say yes. My daughter has had several occurrences of mysterious rashes that correlate to certain foods that my wife was eating (nightshades, citrus) and when those were cut out, the rashes went away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just yesterday, my wife had something with lemon juice in it, and my daughter broke out in a huge rash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some medical professionals will look at you like you're crazy, but I'm looking at a reaction to something and we're pretty strict about her food intake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3571" LastActivityDate="2013-08-12T17:16:23.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8636" CreationDate="2013-08-12T19:08:06.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As soon as children can understand what you are telling them, you can tell them what the books would.  An earlier question on here about kisses on booboos had this answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When my daughter was a preschooler her body reacted a lot to things others don't notice. One bug bite would swell her hand so she could barely use it. She was allergic to Solarcaine. I would tell her &quot;tell your hand to stop swelling now&quot; and she, not knowing that was a ridiculous request, would comply - &lt;strong&gt;and the swelling would go down&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7540/why-do-kisses-stop-a-child-from-hurting/7542#7542&quot;&gt;Why do kisses stop a child from hurting?&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So this approach worked at that age for the girl, even though she probably couldn't read and understand books like that. Start talking to your child about the power of your mind right away, and when they are old enough to read, it will be easier to understand those books, as they will have already been living those words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4652" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-14T12:56:35.723" LastActivityDate="2018-04-14T12:56:35.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2013-08-13T02:37:08.097" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As my oldest neared drinking age, and told us about a friend who was drinking the parental beer stash from the basement (I guess if you buy 24 at a time and drink 3 or 4 at a time you won't miss one or two) we considered locking up the liquor. What we did was pour down the drain all the really sweet &quot;teeny pop&quot; stuff like peach schnapps that had been sitting in the back of that cupboard since before we were parents. That left scotch, chartreuse, gin etc - not super appealing to that age group. The kids and their friends were essentially never in the house alone, so we didn't worry overly much that they were helping themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, when they were old enough to drink, they were allowed alcohol at their parties, and were forbidden from providing alcohol to underage guests. (We also had rules we never thought we would have like &quot;nobody is allowed on the roof if they've had even one drink&quot; and &quot;nobody is allowed to chop firewood if they've had even one drink&quot; which not only my children, but the guests as a group were respectful of. This was made easier by the fact that typically half the party would not be drinking.) We're &quot;wine on special occasions, beer on a hot day, once in a blue moon spirits&quot; drinkers so the kids were familiar with the concept, but didn't see it happen much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Results:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;one child who got pukingly drunk elsewhere weeks before being legal to drink - one of those times I had to make good on the &quot;I will come and get you no questions asked&quot; promise and who now drinks occasionally and appropriately&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;many parties at which newly-legal guests brought their own alcohol, some guests imbibed and some did not. Minors were probably served, but not by the hand (or wallet) of one of mine, which is important to me. Some puke stains on the carpet, no-one ever drove away from the house drunk, and no babies were conceived here (those of you who fail to see those as wins do not have children over 20 yet)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;one child who doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs and bears a tattoo symbolizing that commitment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;assorted friends of those children who appear to have been raised much the same way who struggle with addiction, and others who do not yet know how to drink properly, with no particular clues to indicate why, other than luck, so I don't get smug&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll take it. There were times I worried about one of mine wrt alcohol, but at the moment I think it's all good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We talked a lot about drinking - about pressure from friends, about symptoms of alcohol poisoning (having a friend who drives an ambulance and tells you about a call to a teen who passed out and can't be woken is eye opening) and so on - but so did the other families as far as I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-04-01T00:49:18.360" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T00:49:18.360" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8650" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-13T03:23:33.593" Score="2" ViewCount="1609" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child (2 months old) keeps burping multiple times after feed, he has a first big burp and then multiple small burps, due to this his sleep gets interrupted. This is usually early morning and afternoon and not at night, plz advise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4662" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T18:53:45.270" Title="Why does my infant burps many times" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8652" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8661" CreationDate="2013-08-13T07:29:11.663" Score="9" ViewCount="44312" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 22-month old speaks with a lisp. Granted, she's only saying about 100-150 words and can form short sentences. However, she can't form all the sounds that adults can, yet. However, all of her 's' are pronounced like 'the'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be concerned, and should I try to start correcting her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="14742" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2018-01-02T15:15:15.850" LastActivityDate="2018-01-02T15:15:15.850" Title="My two year old has a lisp. Should I try to correct her now?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|age-appropriate|speech|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8650" CreationDate="2013-08-13T10:27:34.123" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I've heard this is not unusual. He may be swallowing some air when feeding quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try putting him upright with his head on your shoulder after a feed and gently patting or rubbing his back to get the wind out before sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2013-08-13T10:27:34.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8654" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-13T12:24:57.453" Score="5" ViewCount="2476" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (35 months old) speaks fairly well, but is consistently confusing his personal pronouns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples: &quot;Her is eating her food,&quot; &quot;me is going to my room&quot;, etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes he gets them right, but it's about 50/50 at best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming this is normal, because it seems like this would be a harder concept to pick up than simple association of a single word with a concept (a duck is always a duck, but keeping track of whether it is her/him/he/she, based upon the context of usage, is more complex).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I should (or should not) do to help him?  How long does it usually take for a toddler to master pronouns?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-08-13T19:54:24.550" Title="When should a toddler stop having problems with personal pronouns?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8655" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8656" CreationDate="2013-08-13T18:16:33.153" Score="6" ViewCount="3291" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been babysitting/cleaning for a family for about 2 years now. Basically nannying, but not full-time. This family has 4 children, all about 2 years apart. Oldest is 9 and the youngest just turned 1. Besides just watching kids, I also do basic housework such as sweeping, keeping the kitchen clean, and keeping laundry going. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got this summer off because I have an internship in a different city, and the mother is texting me asking if I would like to start work again when I come back. I wouldn't mind really, I miss the kids and I like the family, but I've realized the amount I get paid is nowhere near worth the hours I spend there. So far, she has been paying me $7 an hour, which I don't feel is enough. We live in a high-income area (Seattle area). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been babysitting for 11 years (2 for this family), and am CPR/First Aid Certified. I am a college student, so educated, but not any child-education sense. But I also have worked in a church day care, so I have that kind of experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would I go about asking her for a raise? I'd like to know from the parents' point of view how they would like to be approached.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also like to know how much is a reasonable charge. I know asking for an exact price I should charge is silly, but I would just like to know if $7 for 4 kids is ridiculous, or if that's me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4652" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-12T15:03:00.597" LastActivityDate="2018-10-15T15:21:59.487" Title="As a babysitter, how to approach parents about a raise and what is a reasonable charge in the USA?" Tags="|parents|money|babysitting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8655" CreationDate="2013-08-13T18:28:26.517" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a parent who employs a nanny for child caregiving purposes. I believe we pay our nanny a fair market wage, but if she wanted a raise I would want her to ask for a time to sit down with my husband and I (her joint employers) in person other than a time she was scheduled to work. I would want her to have a reasoned explanation why she deserved a raise. Reasons I would consider as good would be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She discovered that the market rate for nannies with her experience, credentials, and responsibilities was higher than she was getting paid. For this discovery I'd want some back-up other than &quot;My one friend is making this much.&quot; I know nanny pay surveys are notoriously unreliable but I'd at least find them somewhat fair data.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She believes her responsibility amount has increased since we began employing her without her raises covering the role change.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One reason which, to me, would not make a significant amount of sense is that she could earn more in another position. While we like our nanny quite a bit and hope she chooses to stay with our family we are not willing to pay significantly above market rate to compete with a different career field. Some families might be, but we are not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She would have to determine before this meeting what her response to the outcome would be. If we said yes, then would she be willing to sign a new contract with her new wage and any other changes? If we said no would she be willing to meet us somewhere in the middle on the salary? What is the minimum salary for which she would work for us?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your employers don't meet your stated minimum and you chose not to return to their employ you will want to try and handle leaving as graciously as possible in order to preserve them as a reference. Try to figure out how to leave while inconveniencing them the least - can you help cover the transitional period while they find a new nanny? Can you introduce them to a friend who might be a good new nanny candidate for them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a tip, I would consider being a part-time nanny a &quot;real job.&quot; It may not be your chosen long term career, but nannying is a job that deserves respect. It's hard and good work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-08-13T18:28:26.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8657" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-13T19:46:39.283" Score="14" ViewCount="31406" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is 2 years too young?  She hit her baby brother and I'm not sure she really will understand th concept of time-out yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4663" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T17:32:06.833" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T18:07:46.883" Title="At what age can you start giving time-outs?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|age-appropriate|hitting|time-out|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8654" CreationDate="2013-08-13T19:54:24.550" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's completely normal.  My 3 1/2 year old daughter has her pronouns pretty much down already, but my 6 year old son was still mixing them up at age 5, if I remember correctly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's anecdotal evidence, but the main difference I see is my son talks your ears off, and doesn't stop to listen, so it's tiresome to correct his grammar every single time.  We let maybe 90% of his grammar mistakes go uncorrected.  My daughter is introverted, thinks things through before speaking, and is a careful listener.  She makes fewer mistakes in the first place due to her good observation skills, and she also leaves gaps in the conversation where it's easy for us to correct her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how to help, the only method I'm aware of is to make him repeat it correctly.  Some parents see that as &quot;stifling creativity&quot; or something, some just enjoy the cuteness factor, and some are reluctant to do it because correcting an &lt;em&gt;adult's&lt;/em&gt; grammar is generally considered rude, but there's really no faster way for children to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-08-13T19:54:24.550" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8657" CreationDate="2013-08-13T20:30:52.780" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as I understand it, when time outs become appropriate depends on what you are looking for from the time out. While you can give a child as young as 12 months a time out, at that age the time out serves more to give your child a moment to calm down rather than as a consequence for bad behavior. A time out for the under-2 year old is designed to provide a calming moment. Because your child probably doesn't understand sitting still at such a young age, it may be more appropriate to provide a &quot;time in&quot; where you sit with your child as calmly hold them until they calm down. Somewhere between two and three years of age toddlers develop the ability to connect the idea of time out as consequence. Language development usually signals the development of memory and the understanding required to &quot;get&quot; time out. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_time-outs-how-to-make-them-work-12-to-24-mo_12252.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;). Dr. Sears recommends starting time out at 18 months and expects that toddlers will understand it by 2. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/10-time-out-techniques&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For toddlers many developmental experts recommend natural consequences rather than or along with timeouts. Pediatrician Dr. Terry Brazleton suggests this in his &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0738207837&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Discipline: the Brazleton Way&lt;/a&gt; - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.touchpointsbook.com/parents.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; is a small summary of this thoughts on discipline. Magda Gerber also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/no-bad-kids-toddler-discipline-without-shame-9-guidelines/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;recommended&lt;/a&gt; this approach. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.loveandlogic.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Love and Logic&lt;/a&gt; also has some ideas for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.loveandlogic.com/t-Helping-Aggressive-Toddlers-and-Preschoolers-Started-Before-its-too-Late.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;logical consequences&lt;/a&gt; among other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you see your child about to hit, then first use a verbal command. &quot;Gentle touching only!&quot; If you know your child won't listen than physically prevent your child from hitting if you can. &quot;I can't let you hit your baby brother.&quot; Do not underestimate the power of simply consistently setting and enforcing limits here. It is critical, as this &lt;a href=&quot;http://abundantlifechildren.com/2012/07/30/how-to-raise-decent-children-without-spankings-or-time-outs/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;blog post&lt;/a&gt; explains. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/09/biting-hitting-kicking-and-other-challenging-toddler-behavior/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is a further example of one way to set limits when it comes to hitting. If your child manages to hit her brother anyway then wrap her in a big bear hug and say, &quot;I know that you [thought it would be fun to hit/were upset and overwhelmed and hit], but I can't let you do that.&quot; Then hold your child as described in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/470/2146&quot;&gt;this excellent answer on ending hitting&lt;/a&gt;. This is a logical consequence for hitting implemented by you - your daughter hits, you prevent her from using her arms for a enough seconds to seem like eternity to a toddler. The fact that the consequence (having her arms held) relates to the action (using her arms improperly to hit) will help her connect the dots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-08-13T21:23:30.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8652" CreationDate="2013-08-13T21:30:04.697" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most mispronunciations are not something you can correct by telling the child they are saying it wrongly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my children had a persistent use of the &lt;code&gt;n&lt;/code&gt; sound where &lt;code&gt;l&lt;/code&gt; belongs (eg eating nunch) and I kept asking my doctor who kept saying &lt;code&gt;n&lt;/code&gt; is one of the last sounds for children to get right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kept countering that if my child was saying &quot;wunch&quot; like the other age mates I would calm down, but this was an entirely different thing. I was reasonably worked up about it, and then at whatever late age they are supposed to get &lt;code&gt;l&lt;/code&gt; right, the problem disappeared. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lisps are super common in toddlers - that's why people imitating baby talk use them, along with &quot;I wuv woo mommy&quot; and the like. Relax, understand her, cause her to believe she can get her thoughts across to you, and don't worry that it needs correcting until you get to the age where it is supposed to be correct.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;By then it almost certainly will be, and if it is not then she will be old enough to understand whatever you need to explain to her as part of correcting it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-12-14T07:23:09.650" LastActivityDate="2016-12-14T07:23:09.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8652" CreationDate="2013-08-14T20:12:38.630" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most speech concerns are not real worries until a child is 5 or 6. If children continue to have a lisp when they begin elementary school they are generally referred to a speech specialist to work on those sounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As much as a lisp in a toddler is not a concern, children learn language from imitating what they hear. It is never too young to speak clearly and purposefully to your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always repeat a mispronounced word to my children with the correct pronunciation. This is used with older children in speech therapy as well. It helps the child hear the difference between what they said and what you said. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to do this in a casual manner - understand that the child is learning and possibly not capable of making the sounds yet. It is also a great idea to have your child watch your mouth so see how your mouth is shaped and moves as you pronounce words and sounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may help you child improve, but it may just be due to am immaturity of the muscle formation and will simply take time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1537" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-12-14T07:21:38.627" LastActivityDate="2016-12-14T07:21:38.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2013-08-15T01:56:58.707" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be honest - you're concerned &amp;amp; have a reason to be.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we ignore it and act like everything is ok, how are teens going to get the message of where to draw the line?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may be mad, but you obviously just happened to have seen the stuff by accident and are honestly worried about her.   Let her know why you are worried and how much she means to you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she know how decisions she makes now can limit her choices in the future?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You care and don't want to see her get hurt.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She needs to know that good people sometimes make bad choices or choices that will harm them eventually - we're human - we all make bad decision at some time - but it is important to know someone loves her and only wants what's best for her and is there through the tough times too.  She may be angry for a while. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that you &quot;hiding&quot; the drugs is a very good idea.  There are legal ramifications for drugs being in your home or on your person and it is not fair to risk your parents' home or your future as well.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4661" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-16T13:05:38.733" LastActivityDate="2013-08-16T13:05:38.733" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2013-08-15T09:16:19.033" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing nobody else has picked up on: If you ignore the drug thing for a moment, you were going through her stuff, when she clearly wasn't expecting you to. The best way to open the conversation might be to apologise for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, in effect what you'll be saying is &quot;I was going through your stuff and found this, now I've confiscated it, and need to tell you why you're wrong to have it&quot;, which is very different from &quot;Sorry, I needed change desperately and panicked when I found this. Here, take it back, but if you're okay with it, I would like to talk about this, because I'm worried about you&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It moves the conversation from &quot;What the Hell is this, you criminal?&quot; to &quot;I don't know what to do about this and I want to talk&quot;, &lt;strong&gt;which is where you really are.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may have a healthy attitude towards drugs, and be aware of the risks. She may be acting out and just have them to be rebellious. She may be seriously struggling and be using them to cope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that I am not saying that having illegal drugs in the house is a good idea, nor is taking them. But I agree with some of the commenters on ChristoperW's answer that &quot;It is Never Okay&quot;, is not a healthy way to approach the conversation, if nothing else because it makes you look naive (the two drugs in question have a very low &quot;active to lethal&quot; ratio, especially compared to alcohol or nicotine). &quot;This is why it is Not Okay in this case&quot; - The possibility of arrest, the possibility of lethal cocktailing, the fact she's only 17 and living at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There are National Helplines in most Western Nations you can call&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;US: &lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/common-hotline-phone-numbers/0001302&quot;&gt;http://psychcentral.com/lib/common-hotline-phone-numbers/0001302&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;UK: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.talktofrank.com/worried-about-a-friend&quot;&gt;http://www.talktofrank.com/worried-about-a-friend&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T09:16:19.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8664" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8666" CreationDate="2013-08-15T11:25:55.613" Score="24" ViewCount="5951" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is generally accepted that porn shouldn't be seen by children, and we even sometimes punish parents who fail to stop their children from finding porn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the justification? The only &quot;damage&quot; I've seen caused by porn is other adults' outrage. Like, the child gets suspended from school because a teacher found lewd pictures on his Nintendo DS or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it okay to let a kid view porn provided you warn him not to share knowledge of it with other people? Why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that I also &lt;a href=&quot;https://cogsci.stackexchange.com/questions/4229/what-is-the-maximum-damage-a-disturbing-image-can-cause&quot;&gt;posted this question on cogsci.se&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4667" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:56:18.177" LastActivityDate="2021-06-02T11:21:46.670" Title="What harm is porn?" Tags="|age-appropriate|psychology|sex|cognitive-development|internet|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8665" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8671" CreationDate="2013-08-15T14:17:06.017" Score="2" ViewCount="2295" Body="&lt;p&gt;From: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2714/2221&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2714/2221&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The recommendation against watching TV is not, as I understand it, because it shortens the attention span, but because it overloads the mind. A small child is not mentally capable of processing so much visual input and will be overwhelmed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have ceiling fans in all our rooms. Our 2 months old baby keeps on staring at the fan when lying on her back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering the above quote is watching a moving fan equally harmful to an infant's mental development as is a TV?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If yes, what could be the preventive measures?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T19:00:39.327" Title="Is watching a moving fan equally harmful to an infant's mental development as is a TV?" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8664" CreationDate="2013-08-15T15:05:40.243" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Porn&amp;quot; runs a wide gamut of idealized or fantasy scenarios.  Many, if not most, of pornographic materials, portray intimate relations in a way that is not typical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would imagine a pornographic movie that depicts the awkward &amp;quot;getting to know each other&amp;quot; phase, dating, and the social and emotional intimacy that most parents would hope their children would seek prior to sexual activity would be pretty boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, at best you'll get scenarios which encourage casual sexual encounters, which &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1411843&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;increase risk of sexually transmitted diseases&lt;/a&gt;.  At worst, the material could depict sexual scenarios or fantasies that could include BDSM, rape fantasy, or general physical aggression.  The main dangers of this is that the child could confuse these behaviors for &amp;quot;normal&amp;quot;, and try to replicate them during actual situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, pornographic materials are based upon an implicit level of consent that may be obscured by the fact that they are fake portrayals by actors or actresses, and a child viewing the materials may not be aware that the acts seen in the materials should not be engaged in without &lt;em&gt;explicit&lt;/em&gt; consent by their partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;I included the following references to highlight that there are other areas of potential concern.  However, please note that the Psychology Today blog entry does not list its sources, and the 2003 survey is just that: a survey.  Surveys aren't the most effective method of scientific research, although that doesn't mean it should be dismissed out of hand. Still, take the conclusions from both these sources with a grain of salt.  In my opinion, the primary concern is the unrealistic depiction of intimate relationships, as described in the previous portion of my answer.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/real-healing/201208/overexposed-and-under-prepared-the-effects-early-exposure-sexual-content&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; in &lt;em&gt;Psychology Today&lt;/em&gt; raises several areas of concern (articles linked are &lt;strong&gt;possible&lt;/strong&gt; matches found):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Early Sex&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 2012 study shows that movies influence teens’ sexual attitudes and behaviors as well. &lt;a href=&quot;https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797611435529&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The study, published in Psychological Science&lt;/a&gt;, found that the more teens were exposed to sexual content in movies, the earlier they started having sex and the likelier they were to have casual, unprotected sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In another study, boys who were exposed to sexually explicit media were three times more likely to engage in oral sex and intercourse two years after exposure than non-exposed boys. Young girls exposed to sexual content in the media were twice as likely to engage in oral sex and one and a half times more likely to have intercourse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;High Risk Sex&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Research shows that children who have sex by age 13 are more likely to have multiple sexual partners, engage in frequent intercourse, have unprotected sex and use drugs or alcohol before sex. In a study by researcher Dr. Jennings Bryant, more than 66 percent of boys and 40 percent of girls reported wanting to try some of the sexual behaviors they saw in the media (and by high school, many had done so), which increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Intimacy Disorders&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;research shows that early exposure to pornography is a risk factor for sex addictions and other intimacy disorders. &lt;a href=&quot;https://isbnsearch.org/isbn/9780553351385&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;In one study of 932 sex addicts&lt;/a&gt;, 90 percent of men and 77 percent of women reported that pornography was a factor in their addiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sexual Violence&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to some studies, early exposure (by age 14) to pornography and other explicit material may increase the risk of a child becoming a victim of sexual violence or acting out sexually against another child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.unh.edu/ccrc/pdf/Exposure_risk.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2003 survey of youth exposure to unwanted sexual materials&lt;/a&gt;(&lt;a href=&quot;https://doi.org/10.1177/0044118X02250123&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;original if link breaks&lt;/a&gt;) highlights another risk: a child may simply find pornographic material disturbing or upsetting.  Without the hormonal changes and normal desires driving them to explore intimacy in a &amp;quot;normal&amp;quot; context, sudden exposure to pornographic material can be... well, gross.  According to the survey, about 1/4 of the youth exposed to unwanted sexual materials were actively and extremely upset about what they saw.  17% avoided the Internet as a result of the exposure, and 6% thought about it and couldn't stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="31491" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2021-05-28T09:59:24.247" LastActivityDate="2021-05-28T09:59:24.247" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8667" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-15T16:04:36.723" Score="10" ViewCount="729" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is 3 years and 6 months and every child he seems to play with seems to pick up on his sensitivity and tease him extra. This could something really minor like touching him on the shoulder - which doesn't hurt him, it just annoys him and makes him cry like a baby. I don't know what the best solution is. I'm afraid that as he gets older it'll happen more and turn into bullying because my son is perceived as weak. I know that the children that tease him shouldn't be doing it, but I just want my son to toughen up and ignore it....It's really getting me down and feel like it's always my child that's crying a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4668" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T17:24:44.353" LastActivityDate="2013-08-19T03:22:01.433" Title="What can I do to stop my child from being over-sensitive?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|bullying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8629" CreationDate="2013-08-15T18:31:16.410" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest you read the Lifehacker article “&lt;a href=&quot;http://lifehacker.com/10-things-to-stop-saying-to-your-kids-and-what-to-say-474962146&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;10 Things to Stop Saying to Your Kids (and What to Say Instead)&lt;/a&gt;”.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this article I found many nice tips for dealing with kids. I think these tips are very logical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One tip from there was,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;h3&gt;“If you _____ then I’ll give you _____”&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Bribing kids is equally destructive as it discourages them from cooperating simply for the sake of ease and harmony. This kind of exchange can become a slippery slope and if used frequently, you’re bound to have it come back and bite you. “No! I won’t clean my room unless you buy me Legos!”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Instead try, “Thank you so much for helping me clean up!” When we offer our genuine gratitude, children are intrinsically motivated to continue to help. And if your child hasn’t been very helpful lately, remind him of a time when he was. “Remember a few months ago when you helped me take out the trash? That was such a big help. Thanks!”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Then allow your child to come to the conclusion that helping out is fun and intrinsically rewarding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4669" LastEditorUserId="1920" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T12:49:22.970" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T12:49:22.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8667" CreationDate="2013-08-15T18:53:43.817" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's pretty common behavior at age three and a half.  I would hesitate to call it &quot;overly&quot; sensitive at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any rate, it's not disliking being touched on the shoulder that's the problem, it's the reaction, so teach the reaction you want him to have and make him repeat it.  It also helps to ask if their natural reaction is having the desired effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our kids, we say, &quot;Does screaming make him leave you alone, or does it make him bother you more?&quot;  &quot;Okay, then instead say, 'Leave me alone!' and come and get us if he doesn't.  Say it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is not just to tell him to stop crying.  You need to teach him what to do instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son who does the teasing has a hard time recognizing when the screaming is for fun or not, so we tell him, &quot;Does it sound like your sister is having fun?&quot;  Our end goal is for them both to have the tools to prevent and defuse the situation without our intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T18:53:43.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8650" CreationDate="2013-08-15T18:53:45.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies that young haven't yet learned to eat (drink) without swallowing some of air, and they lack the ability to force a burp on their own like older children and adults; therefore, you have to burp them to release the air they swallow.  It's different with each child - some have no problems while others may be difficult to burp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem can be worse if the air finds its way past the stomach and into the intestinal tract.  This could cause some abdominal discomfort and &quot;gassiness&quot;, which could be distressing to your child.  That's why it is so important to burp them immediately after feeding.  Also, laying a child on his/her back without being burped could increase the chance of spitting up and aspirating some of the vomit.  It's usually not dangerous, but vomit in the lungs can cause problems.  It's best to ensure as much air as possible is forced out of their stomach by burping them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for different times of day, I don't know.  Perhaps (as the other poster suggested) it's a matter of swallowing more air when feeding early in the morning because of increased hunger, but that's just speculation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4670" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T18:53:45.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8665" CreationDate="2013-08-15T19:00:39.327" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not being an expert, here is what I believe:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Beofett points out in his comment, there's a huge difference between TV and a ceiling fan. The problem with TV is sensory overload because of the rapid change in colors, movements, shapes, and so on -- this is what babies see when they're too young to recognize the image as &lt;em&gt;this is one scene, here's the next.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TV provides too much visual stimulation. A ceiling fan does not. I guess it would be a lot more soothing, although the rotation speed might be high. Also, the ceiling fan is high up and definitely out of reach; this adds both a physical and mental distance that you wouldn't have with a TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that sense, a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lava_lamp&quot;&gt;lava lamp&lt;/a&gt; might be ideal because of its slow changes in shape but not in color.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T19:00:39.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8672" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-15T22:16:43.523" Score="25" ViewCount="1321" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don’t have any immediate plans for a child. At the earliest (probably), I’ll become father in 3 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can imagine that the time will become stressful as soon as the child is on the way, not to mention the time when the child is finally born. I guess there are so many things to consider/decide/plan that you’ll hardly have &lt;em&gt;enough&lt;/em&gt; time for all that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like to be prepared. &lt;strong&gt;Is there anything useful I could do &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/strong&gt; Parents, in retrospective, is there anything you would have liked to do (or learn, or think about, …) beforehand?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far I read about picture-books and add good/valuable ones to a list. Not sure how useful this is, but anyway, there has to be more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3634" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-08-15T22:50:56.993" LastActivityDate="2017-06-16T08:50:08.487" Title="Long-term preparations for becoming a parent?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2013-08-15T22:44:07.147" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Learning about the mechanics of parenting and looking after a baby is not that hard. You have almost a year to learn about a newborn, then a year after that to learn about a toddler, then another year to learn about two year olds and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some skills you can learn now that will help you tremendously when you become a parent even though they are not technically parenting skills:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;learn to cook. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;learn how to do the banking or make a car appointment or do the laundry or buy the groceries or whatever else your spouse normally does.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach your spouse the things you normally do&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;learn to bank online and other techniques for not having to be at place X by time Y in order to meet deadlines like paying bills or the rent &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;learn to fall asleep quickly and stay asleep, if necessary by acquiring accessories like eyeshades or CDs of soothing music&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;learn a stress relief technique like yoga or meditation or brainwave feedback&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;develop an exercise habit and acquire what you need to do it at home (yoga mat, weight set, exercise DVD, ...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do all those things, you and your spouse will be interchangeable and can spell each other off doing urgent things when there just isn't enough time in the day. You'll be able to fight off sleep deprivation and remain calm when things are hard. You'll need that because they will be hard at times. They will also be wonderful too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;learn how to take good pictures. I know folks who've taken courses on it and they're way better at it than I am, and you won't have time after the baby is born to learn how to do it, but you'll want to be good at it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For extra preparation, get right with money:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make a budget&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;understand what aspects of it you can and cannot change&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get all your credit cards paid off to zero and get up to date on student loans, car loans etc so that bankers love you and want to lend you money, and so your interest payments are as low as can be&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;start saving now so that you have an emergency fund&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;know your credit rating&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get a line of credit but don't use it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, make yourself financially stable. Not having the money for emergency car repairs and having to take the bus for a week until you get paid is the kind of thing that makes your life so much harder when you have a small child or when you're pregnant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-08-15T22:44:07.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8674" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-16T01:03:02.323" Score="24" ViewCount="66503" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 12 year old daughter who is having screaming, door slamming, hour-long rages at the slightest thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also have 2 older daughters, aged 17 and 18, who never did this after they were 2 and grew out of it quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at a loss as to how to deal with it. It makes me feel sick and sweaty and I can feel my heart pounding. Some days I dread waking up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My older 2 children are from a previous relationship which I mention because the father of my 12 year old was verbally abusive throughout my marriage, which I ended 5 years ago, and I don't know if there is a viable genetic link involved or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was always an awkward child who got mixed signals.  I tried to discipline but her her dad encouraged her, playing up poor behavior towards me by telling her it is fine to try and kick me if she was angry, etc., hence the reason for the separation after a violent outburst from him. She was much better after we split up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he moved and lives 10 minutes away, and since he moved and she goes there everyday after school to see him she has become so much worse. Yet to him she won't say a word in backchat.  He asks her to do something, she does it; she is angry with him, she won't tell him... she screams at me instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A typical episode as an example was yesterday when I asked her in a polite tone if she was almost ready to go out as the bus that we had to take to be on time for an appointment was due. The reply I got was &quot;no, I can't find my shoe, get in my room and find it noooooooowww !! I don't care if we miss the bus, it is a doctors appointment. Go make another.&quot; Then she slammed the bathroom door and locked herself inside until she knew the bus passed outside and I had to call my dad who looks after my disabled mum to take us instead. She had hidden her shoe in the back of her wardrobe behind a blanket. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a carer to my mum who had a stroke, as well as 3 children. I am studying English teaching and Midwifery to try and make a future for my family, as well as selling cosmetics to pay the rent. I don't have much time, and the time I make to spend time with my family is being ruined by tantrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Daughter has things that trouble her; this I know. Her Dad is moving again to a place too far for her to walk and she is upset that she cannot go there everyday.  He is moving in with his girlfriend who has a child, so she is of course jealous that she is not part of it and another girl is living with her Dad, but no matter what the reason, I will not have doors slammed in my face, objects thrown at me, or accept a child screaming at me and ordering me around and showing no respect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a lot of patience.  When she starts, I usually state my objective and walk away calmly.  Most times she follows me and goes on more and more until she gets a reply as to how her behaviour is unacceptable, then it progresses to her screaming, throwing things at me etc.. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have never once hit her.  I don't think it would help the situation. I sit with her and talk through her problems, but I cannot fix them all. I am not in charge of what other people do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her Dad used to smoke cannabis and it keeps coming into my mind that it has somehow affected her development.  Her attitude and actions are very similar to his where the expectation is that the whole household bows down and walks on eggshells to avoid an episode. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have explained to her that I am her Mum, that I have her best interests at heart, yet I will not tolerate being spoken to in that way and tolerate her behaviour. If she has a problem, I will listen, and try my best to fix it, but she does not listen and carries on with sarcastic remarks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know the best path to deal with her and learn her that her behaviour is not correct.   I have tried taking her phone/ iPad. It doesn't work: she goes worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Replies are gratefully received, as is advice and thank you for reading what turned out to be a long post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4672" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-16T13:22:42.913" LastActivityDate="2020-04-22T17:33:26.463" Title="12 year old with major tantrums that I have no idea how to control help needed" Tags="|teen|tantrums|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2013-08-16T01:03:44.660" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;1) Save money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Wear loose shorts! and consider your nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Collect books and toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Prepare the home - babies crawl and need safe places to be changed; toddlers walk and need stair gates and all tvs to be bolted to walls; small children get everywhere!  Getting some of this stuff done now is good because you'll be busy later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) Prepare areas for sleeping during the daytime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6) Investigate support mechanisms.  Having children can be disruptive, sometimes destructive.  You'll need friends to help you with parenting and with destressing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;7) Practice politely ignoring half of the unsolicited advice you get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2013-08-16T01:03:44.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2013-08-16T04:44:28.540" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm seeing a lot of hysterical overreaction here.  Ecstasy, used occasionally and in small quantities, is &lt;em&gt;not a high-risk drug&lt;/em&gt;: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.encod.org/info/EQUASY-A-HARMFUL-ADDICTION.html&quot;&gt;something goes wrong about 1 out of 10,000 times&lt;/a&gt;, compared with 1 in 350 for horse riding.  The UK's &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6474053.stm&quot;&gt;Academy of Medical Sciences ranks it at 18 out of 20&lt;/a&gt; in dangerousness, way below alcohol (5) and tobacco (9).  In short, &lt;em&gt;the short-term risk of your sister physically harming herself through casual Esctasy use is very low&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there are two things she needs to be aware of, and you as her brother should make sure she understands:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ecstasy doesn't kill, but dehydration can&lt;/strong&gt;.  She should drink water regularly and avoid alcohol and caffeinated energy drinks, both of which are dehydrating.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tolerance to Ecstasy builds up fast&lt;/strong&gt;.  When one pill doesn't do what it did last time, some people ramp up to two, and then four, and then eight... and then when that stops working, they switch to a genuinely dangerous drug like meth or cocaine (#8 and #2 on the previous list) and end up addicted or dead.  The solution is simple: &lt;em&gt;don't increase the dose, stop&lt;/em&gt;.  A month later, if she's still keen, the single pill will work again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other big concern is the legal side of things: depending on where you live, the penalties for getting busted by police or school authorities with even a pill or two can be &lt;em&gt;life-ruiningly harsh&lt;/em&gt;, and since the stuff is illegal in the first place, you can never really be sure what's in those pills.  Unfortunately there's no easy solution to either, all she can do is be very, very careful about her stash (never take it to school!) and who she gets it from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see no possible benefit in getting the parents involved: they aren't going to understand, they are almost certainly going to freak out in counterproductive ways, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; you'll burn your bridges with her by snitching.  Far better to be on her side as someone she can trust and turn to (and, yes, apologize about going through her stuff in the first place!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Final anecdote: I've seen a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of drug use in my early years in the rave scene, but I know of precisely one person who died as a result.  He was arrested by the police for possession, convicted of a felony and and sentenced to a few months in jail.  As a result, his girlfriend left him, his parents disowned him, and his flourishing car business went down the tubes -- so he became severely depressed and eventually hung himself.  Was it the drugs that killed him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2013-08-16T04:44:28.540" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8674" CreationDate="2013-08-16T10:54:31.853" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh wow, what a lousy situation for all of you!  It depends on where you live, but one resource I'd suggest is whatever social services you have available.  She could probably use the services of a professional to help her unpack all the things going on in her life: father with a history of violence towards family who is also in-and-out of her life, the usual sturm und drang that comes with adolescence, a mom who is stretched to the limit and who she seems to feel she can only interact with in a loud and threatening manner.  Poor kid sounds like she's acting out, trying to get someone to fix things in her life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk with your local social services, and see if you can get a recommendation for free or sliding-scale professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you say she was better once her Dad lived away, and worse when he moved closer and she could see him every day, I'm cautiously hopeful that once she's not interacting with him on a daily basis she'll feel a bit better too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hang in there, remind her frequently that you love her and aren't going anywhere (I'm sure part of her frustration is losing her father again to a new family), and be kind to yourself. And do look into getting some help with the situation; you can't be expected to fix EVERYONE'S problems, and you have a lot on your plate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-08-16T10:54:31.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8674" CreationDate="2013-08-16T13:12:56.957" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I have no experience with this as a parent, so any advice I give is possibly wrong for your situation or generalized.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What it sounds like to me is a feedback loop, when my daughter - almost 2 - throws a tantrum I noticed that giving negative feedback usually results in the situation worsening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rewarding good behaviour rather than punishing bad behaviour is also one of the things they advise when dealing with any person. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/family-affair/200809/rewards-are-better-punishment-here-s-why&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rewards are Better than Punishment: Here’s Why&lt;/a&gt; puts it better than I do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But the bottom line seems to be that we now have a better idea why rewards work better than punishment with pre-adolescent children. So if it is an explanation you need for why you should reward good behavior more than punish bad behavior, at least with pre-adolescent children, now you have one. The task that still remains, of course, is regulating one's own irritability, frustration and thus behavior in the face of annoying child behavior so that we can ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4544" LastActivityDate="2013-08-16T13:12:56.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8679" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-16T16:49:37.697" Score="42" ViewCount="26781" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 year old daughter recently broke up with a boy she was dating for 7 months because she fell in love with a girl.  I totally support her as I had a similar experience when I was in my 30's.  My daughter and I have talked and I have told her how much my husband and I support her. Love is love and it's wonderful to have someone special in your life. We also know that adolescence is a time when teenagers are in flux about their identity and we don't want to hamper her in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being an adolescent, when she was dating her boyfriend we had limits in place, one being that he was not allowed in her bedroom. Recently, my daughter has asked to have her girlfriend over for a sleepover.  My husband and I discussed this at length and decided that we would be creating a double standard if we allowed her to have her girlfriend over for a sleepover given that her boyfriend was never allowed to be in her bedroom.  We have told her, however that her girlfriend is welcome in our home anytime, and while she's here, they can hang out in her bedroom if they want with the door open, however sleepovers aren't allowed for the reason described. I've also told her that just as she and her boyfriend would cuddle together on the couch and watch a movie, she and her girlfriend should follow their instincts and be themselves while in our house (ie there is no need to pretend that they are not dating).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has not taken this well.  She feels that we are discriminating against her by not allowing the sleepover, however, I've tried to point out that in essence, if we allowed her girlfriend to sleepover, we would be discriminating against the boys. This is further complicated because I also have another teenage daughter who is heterosexual and I would be caught in the middle if I allowed one of their dates to sleepover and not the other ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advise or comments would be helpful. Maybe there's a better way to handle this without upsetting my daughter.  Thank you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4674" LastEditorUserId="14742" LastEditDate="2017-06-25T09:08:27.883" LastActivityDate="2018-10-07T20:41:53.787" Title="14 yr old lesbian/bi daughter wanting to have her girlfriend over. What to do?" Tags="|teen|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8679" CreationDate="2013-08-16T19:05:19.587" Score="58" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your approach is correct: dating is dating no matter the gender. You aren't discriminating, you are actually being completely fair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children use any edge they can to get you to bend the rules, this is likely one of those cases. Stick to your guns, you have life experience on your side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-08-16T19:05:19.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2013-08-16T19:12:23.537" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's only so much preparation you can do realistically, books are good but nothing prepares you for the real thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things you should think about is good childcare and schools, if you don't have these things in your area then move to an area where you will. Moving before having a baby is much easier than moving after! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look into building a support network, this could be family, but also fellow parents near you who will be having children at the same time. Being able to compare notes, borrow this or that when you're short of something, and just being able to talk to someone who understands what you are going through makes such a difference. In the UK there is a group called the NCT, they have classes for expecting parents which are useful, but even more handy is that you meet other people in your neighborhood so it is an instant support group. In the US or other places there are probably groups that organize that sort of thing regularly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are an impatient person try to learn patience, you'll need it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-08-16T19:12:23.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2013-08-16T20:54:19.427" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are the only one who can make the decision on what to do based off information you get from others and your personal values and beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question that I recommend you ask yourself is whether you're willing to risk your relationship with your sister (and possibly have her hate you) in order to potentially save her life. There is no guarantee that the drugs will kill her or that your efforts will save her life; however, if she died of something related to the drugs (overdose, association with the wrong crowd, etc), would you blame yourself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;textbook&quot; answers of telling someone, telling parents, confronting her are easier said than done.  The personal relationship you have with someone makes it much more difficult to address such a situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4670" LastActivityDate="2013-08-16T20:54:19.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8683" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-17T02:04:36.893" Score="3" ViewCount="228" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is five years old and my wife is out of town for a while. While I am taking care of her on a daily basis, she seems old enough to dry herself after using the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any generally accepted guidelines on when a young girl is ready to take care of her own post-urination drying needs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastActivityDate="2013-08-23T19:29:38.893" Title="When to teach daughter to dry herself after urinating" Tags="|pre-schooler|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2013-08-17T17:06:37.523" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try reading this book on infant sleep, that book on baby care, and the other book on solid feedings, but if you are anything like me half the important stuff will fly out the window in the midst of sleep deprivation anyway. I found out after my daughter hit one year that I had helpfully saved information on newborn growth spurts on my computer somewhere when I was pregnant and promptly forgot about them. I rediscovered growth spurts at 3 weeks post-partum when I experienced my daughter's second and most epic spurt and I will now never forget them. Book learning has nothing on experiential learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of trying to learn about babies now, I recommend trying to figure out what type of person you want to raise. Get the big picture in mind - what person to you compromises a good citizen and good moral human being? Then strive to &lt;em&gt;be that person&lt;/em&gt;. Why? Modeling is the most important thing in training children. Under the pressure of parenting the morals you have will be more tested than in many circumstances, so you want them down pat now. Second you want to figure out how, exactly, you guide a little human being who begins life not even being able to control his or her limbs into a good moral person. Get that big picture in mind. That would help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also underscore the financial element of Chrys's &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8673/2146&quot;&gt;answer&lt;/a&gt;. Children are expensive and you will appreciate being fiscally prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally things that I wish I'd done before pregnancy and did not do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Sleep - everyone tells pregnant moms and their husbands to sleep. By then it's too late. Do it before pregnancy. Sleep like you're a college kid on winter break. Sleep enough that you have about a 2 years' supply of extra sleep. OK, you can't really do that, but it sure would be nice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Take that blow-out vacation you always wanted because it's not going to be so simple again for decades. We only did one of our dream vacations and I wish we'd done more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-08-17T17:06:37.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8686" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-17T23:07:28.997" Score="12" ViewCount="3141" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old daughter is a very shy and laid back girl. She loves playing by herself and will not really care if she has got someone to play with her or not. I usually look around for playdates for her since she's an only child and I want her to get used to playing with other kids. My problem is that because of her passive personality, she does not try to defend herself at all when some other child hits her or takes her toys. She will simply ask me to step in or cry if they hurt her. I usually step in and figure out a way but I am afraid she will always depend on me to solve such issues and I cannot be around all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently we went to a party and she was playing in the other room with all the kids. There was another 3-year-old who was continuously hitting her for no reason at all. My daughter simply cried and did not do anything at all although the other girl was half her size. After that, my daughter refused to play with anyone at all and spent the entire evening on my lap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have never felt so helpless and heartbroken as I did on that day. How do I help her? The bully's mother and I are in the same social group which meets once a month. Should I avoid taking my daughter along, or continue so that she gets used to such situations? Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW I just found out that that girl's elder brother, who is 6 years old, is also a big bully. I have tried to communicate with their mother but the woman could be least interested. She says that kids will be kids and they have to learn these things on their own and if adults get involved in such &quot;minor&quot; things, it's just silly. Wonder how she would feel if her kids were at the receiving end?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4680" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2014-01-29T15:27:29.697" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T15:27:29.697" Title="3 year old gets bullied all the time" Tags="|pre-schooler|safety|social-development|bullying|socialization|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8683" CreationDate="2013-08-18T11:46:27.303" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know of any standard guidelines, as all kids are different, but she should definitely be able to do this by age 5. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had both of our daughters doing this from about 3 and a half. At first they needed some guidance, eg &quot;always front to back&quot; but it should be relatively straightforward for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-08-18T11:46:27.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8688" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8695" CreationDate="2013-08-18T18:00:42.857" Score="6" ViewCount="3909" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always found this fascinating. We are the most intelligent beings on the earth. Still, a rat can give birth to its offspring all by itself, but why is that not happening with humans? Is it just for psychological reasons? Or have humans become weak? If there is a young girl who doesn't know anything about giving birth, what are the chances that the baby and the mom will make it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4683" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-19T11:53:13.367" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T04:15:25.490" Title="Why do humans require assistance in childbirth so frequently?" Tags="|pregnancy|birth|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8688" CreationDate="2013-08-18T19:58:40.997" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Humans are fully capable of having &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unassisted_childbirth#Risks&quot;&gt;unassisted births&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-473576/Freebirthing-Should-women-birth-alone.html&quot;&gt;many chose to have them&lt;/a&gt;. Tradition, herd mentality, increased medical knowledge, and (unfortunatly) economical gain &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.birthologie.com/pregnancy/the-history-of-childbirth/&quot;&gt;have shaped the way child birth is carried out in the world today&lt;/a&gt; (with great variety), but the way we birth says nothing about our physical capabilites to do so on our own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is entirely impossible to say how any birth will end, complications can arise in a hospital birth, or unassisted or with a midwife at home. In both cases complications may arise from malpractice or unforseen events. A birth that could have ended well at home unassisted could go terribly wrong in the hospital (due to a high level of intervention, for example), and vice versa.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastEditorUserId="2394" LastEditDate="2013-08-20T18:43:37.013" LastActivityDate="2013-08-20T18:43:37.013" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8667" CreationDate="2013-08-19T03:22:01.433" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Without knowing anything else about your son - have a look in to &quot;Sensory Integration&quot;.  Some kids can be overloaded with sensory input, and have a hard time dealing with it.  At the very least it could provide you with some insight in to his world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it seems to fit together you might want to get help on it - here in Canada we have the Child Development Assoc. who give free OT etc for preschool children with Sensory Integration &lt;em&gt;Disorder&lt;/em&gt; (it's a disorder when it's a problem, and it sounds like it might be for him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally I try with my 4yo to work on the underlying issue rather than prescribing a behaviour that he should follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4684" LastActivityDate="2013-08-19T03:22:01.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8686" CreationDate="2013-08-19T03:40:07.627" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to give a definite solution.  If you can subtly get on to the subject (maybe she'll bring it up) of this problem, perhaps advise your daughter to shout 'go away' when someone does something like that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did advise my son to do that, and admittedly he got a little carried away with it, but I found it better than not doing anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for avoiding the situation - tricky, on the one hand she shouldn't be being bullied, she's too young for that crap.  On the other hand, it's good that you can monitor it and try to help her deal with it.  Obviously at school it'll be much harder to get a handle on things.  So maybe it comes down to how much you think it's affecting her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4684" LastActivityDate="2013-08-19T03:40:07.627" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8692" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8694" CreationDate="2013-08-19T11:50:15.970" Score="5" ViewCount="9562" Body="&lt;p&gt;I &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;had&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; horribly crooked teeth and my mother has them too. I was told that I used to touch my gums with my fingers that's why my teeth were crooked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are the facts and myths regarding crooked teeth and what are the preventive measures?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2017-03-30T08:42:17.113" Title="Causes and prevention techniques for crooked teeth?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8692" CreationDate="2013-08-19T18:12:42.613" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The truth seems to be that we don't fully understand all the reasons why one's teeth may grow in crooked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a number of theories, including one that hypothesizes that the change from our early ancestors' hunter-gatherer lifestyle to the modern agrarian lifestyle &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/11/agriculture-jaw-shape/&quot;&gt;has resulted in a gradual shortening of the jaw&lt;/a&gt;, resulting in less room for the teeth to grow (which, in turn, results in crooked teeth as teeth compete with each other for space).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as facts, the only authoritative references I found were in a release by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ada.org/sections/professionalResources/pdfs/ADA_PatientSmart_BBTD.pdf&quot;&gt;the American Dental Association&lt;/a&gt; and the American Academy of Pediatrics Dental's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aapd.org/assets/1/7/FastFacts.pdf&quot;&gt;2013 Fast Facts document&lt;/a&gt; (please forgive the American resource bias; they just happen to be the first names I think of when looking for reputable scientific resources).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They both agree that the biggest factor is lack of early childhood dental care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both mention that Early Childhood Caries (a.k.a. Baby Bottle Tooth Decay), defined as dental caries (cavities) that occurs in the primary (baby) teeth of young children, is a major contributor to crooked teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a primary tooth is lost due to tooth decay, the teeth adjacent to the lost tooth may drift into the gap in the jaw, causing the adult teeth to subsequently grow in crooked (or even prevent them from erupting).  Healthy primary teeth, on the other hand, help guide the newly erupted permanent teeth into a straight position within the jaw line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The AAPD's source also mentions two other factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is poor sucking habits from a pacifier or thumb:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Prolonged sucking can create &#xA;  crooked teeth or bite problems. Early dental visits provide parents with information to help their children stop &#xA;  sucking habits before they affect the developing permanent dentition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, early intervention by a pediatric dentist can assist in the development of permanent teeth, and prevent them from growing in crooked:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A pediatric dentist can identify crowded or crooked teeth and actively intervene to guide the teeth as they come in &#xA;  the mouth. Not only will this improve the look of the child’s smile, but early orthodontic treatment may prevent more &#xA;  extensive treatment later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in short, the best preventative measure is early and regular visits to a pediatric dentist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-08-19T18:12:42.613" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8688" CreationDate="2013-08-19T21:30:32.457" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the core reasons for this is actually a side-effect of the 'most intelligent beings on the planet' - we have very big brains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Evolution has taken us pretty much to the limit on size at birth - we are already almost the least developed physically at birth. Many mammals can walk an hour after birth, but we have developed large brains, and large heads. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A certain amount of adjustment to a mother's hips has also taken place - widening more would severely impact the ability to walk or run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What this means is that there is a small, but real risk that the baby will not be born unassisted, and that there is a fair amount of stretching and relaxing required during birth, as well as the potential for stitches and other medical assistance afterwards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So many people prefer to have this assistance with them, just in case. Especially for their first child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-08-19T21:30:32.457" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5209" CreationDate="2013-08-20T02:45:54.290" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;While time may be the long term answer, and changing your diet may be the medium term answer, if you're awake at 4 am with a screaming baby who is pulling up their legs and showing every sign of gas pain, you probably want a short term answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did really well with gas/colic massaging. Basically you're moving everything along for them. It can be very soothing even if gas (or not-gas) doesn't end up leaving their body, and provide immediate relief when it does. The internet abounds with articles and videos on colic massage - they basically all involve swiping moves with medium pressure from about belly button down to the pubic bone, and some involve circles as well. There is a fair amount of lifting their legs and pumping them back and forth in these internet hits that I don't recall being a thing in the days when I dealt with colic, but it probably wouldn't hurt. Here's a representative &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.massage-education.com/colic.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;article and video&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://gentleconnections.com/massage-to-relieve-babys-colic-constipation-and-gas/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;some good tips&lt;/a&gt; - you can probably find plenty more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We specifically used what's called the I Love You motion - I being a straight line on the baby's left side (on your right if you're facing them) moving downward, L the same but starting with a segment 90 degrees to that, and U adding another 90 degree segment before that. I found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com/parenting/i-love-you-infant-massage/769/2/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a good description&lt;/a&gt; online with a diagram. (If you've seen a diagram of the large intestine, you'll get it.) This can really produce output so be prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-08-20T02:45:54.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2013-08-20T12:32:25.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been doing EI for 18 years and 99% of the kids I have worked with as well as typically developing kids I know including my own 4 all said dada first.  Every speech therapist I work with also usually tells parents that dada comes first and it has nothing to do with mommy or daddy.  It's just a sound they make when they first start making the sound.  Dada is an easy sound to make.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4691" LastActivityDate="2013-08-20T12:32:25.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8700" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8703" CreationDate="2013-08-20T20:26:13.277" Score="4" ViewCount="8979" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2 year old daughter who doesn't walk quietly or softly. She stomps. I can't tell whether she likes the noise she makes on our wood floor or she doesn't know any better. Her walking/running looks the same outside though.  I/we have been making attempts at educating her for weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;telling her to move silently,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pointing out how much more silent her mom can enter the room, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;taking her by her hands and walk with her around the room while encouragin her to avoid noice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making walking slowly and siliently some sort of &quot;fun&quot; game&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making funny faces while tiptoeing around&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;... about everything we can think of that is fun/good/better/preferable when moving silently.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While she does seem to enjoy herself a lot, it has absolutely not affected her stomping. She is only 2 and definetly still discovering her body and the degrees of freedom it posesses, so I don't want to push hard. She has enough to learn and discover already. I'd just like for her to shift her priorities a little ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my actual questions are:&#xA;How long does it take children learn to walk &quot;normal&quot;? Can I expect her to stop stomping soon, within the coming year, shortly after kindergarden, right before puberty? When and how can I actually start teaching her? I have absolutely no clue what is ok, expected or considered normal progress for learning how to walk. Other children look about the same when they move, but they move much more silently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4104" LastEditorUserId="4104" LastEditDate="2013-08-20T21:47:58.150" LastActivityDate="2022-09-06T23:51:56.630" Title="When and how to teach a 2 year old how to walk properly" Tags="|toddler|teaching|walking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8701" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-21T01:08:48.747" Score="13" ViewCount="4223" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5-year-old boy who is beyond bad. We have tried everything from talking to spanking to taking stuff away to rewarding the good and are at our wits' end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is abusive to animals, at least 4 times in 6 months. He has chased a dog with a metal bat and hit the dog in the mouth, tried to put an 8-10 week old puppy in a cooler full of water, kicked another dog several times, and tried to pull a small dog apart by her legs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can tell him to do or not do something and he will do the exact opposite and look at you the whole time. When getting in trouble he will not look you in the face. His answer for why he did something is &quot;I don't know&quot;, &quot;I don't have an answer&quot; or to have a complete melt down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been in school for 9 days and has had a bad report 5 of those days in a row. Everything from hitting classmates and being disruptive to running around and yelling. Today was the regular report with a separate note stating he colored all over the table and didn't take responsibility even after being caught in the act.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have 3 older kids (20, 18, 16) with only the 16-year-old at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is in our care after his bio mom walked out almost 2 years ago. He had an old school 40 inch TV fall onto him in December 2012 causing temple fractures on both sides, both eye sockets to fracture, and a fracture behind his ear. We have an appointment on Friday with his pediatricians to get some help or maybe a referral to a neurologist to see if there is brain damage from the TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any help/info/suggestions would be awesome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4697" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-02-01T13:17:12.800" LastActivityDate="2019-12-06T08:34:06.207" Title="How to deal with a defiant, stubborn and abusive 5-year-old?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|violence|abuse|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8701" CreationDate="2013-08-21T03:10:18.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow, this sounds like too much.  The TV incident is worrying, could it have caused this?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, to me it sounds like you need professional help - hopefully there's some way that you can access that?  It sounds like it's beyond a normal discipline issue.  Tread carefully - I wish you luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4684" LastActivityDate="2013-08-21T03:10:18.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8700" CreationDate="2013-08-21T03:16:26.560" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I think it might be better if you could accept it, because she's just being a kid - I think you understand that, but it just pushes your buttons.  My kids push my buttons, they like to throw books on the floor and then needle the books with their feet.  I just pick the books up and die a little inside ;)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me the 'risk' you run, is her digging her feet in (no pun) and it becoming a power struggle, you'll probably lose that battle, and I doubt it's a battle worth fighting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's really a problem for you perhaps try using stickers as a reward system - if she can go a morning TRYING not to stomp (ie cut some slack) give her a star, if she gets 5 stars, some kind of reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4684" LastActivityDate="2013-08-21T03:16:26.560" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8704" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8711" CreationDate="2013-08-21T04:32:50.003" Score="6" ViewCount="404" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use bottle to feed the infant with formula/breast milk.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering:  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8404/2221&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8404/2221&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Discard any infant formula remaining after a feeding. The mixture of infant formula with saliva provides an ideal breeding ground for disease-causing micro-organisms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it safe to put the formula/breast milk left (in the bottle) after feeding &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;in the fridge&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; for the next feed (from the same bottle)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-19T15:40:27.457" LastActivityDate="2019-01-19T15:40:27.457" Title="Is it safe to put the milk left after feeding in the fridge for the next feed?" Tags="|safety|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|formula|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8705" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8747" CreationDate="2013-08-21T05:55:10.497" Score="2" ViewCount="2010" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 years and 4 months now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he was born he has developed habits of sleeping in our arms and strolling into our room in the middle of the night. After we hold him for about 15-20 minutes, he will fall asleep and we can lay him on bed. But after 2-3 hours he will wake up again and demand the same. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was an infant, we thought he was hungry and that was the reason he kept waking up. But nowadays this is not the case.  We make sure he has his tummy full before he goes to bed.  But still he won't sleep on his own; he keep waking up during the night. Sometimes he asks for drinking water and goes back to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we change this so that he goes to bed and sleeps without our intervention?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4525" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-21T12:10:32.680" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T18:45:05.913" Title="How do I get my toddler to sleep by himself?" Tags="|toddler|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8701" CreationDate="2013-08-21T09:42:15.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hope you came here looking for confirmation that you need professional help because that's what it sounds like to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of behavioral tests that can be administered to narrow things down. I've had them for a couple of my kids and the results varied. One kid they said to monitor, another they said &quot;no he's fine&quot;, so assessments like that aren't necessarily a f. Also, as no kind of medical professional... &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-08-21T09:42:15.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8705" CreationDate="2013-08-21T11:57:25.710" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may be worth trying &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mumsnet.com/babies/sleep-training-and-controlled-crying&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;controlled crying&lt;/a&gt;. I'm told this is often effective from about a year onwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying this with our one-year old we had to endure 1 terrible night, 1 bad night, 1 ok night, then she was sleeping through. It feels cruel, but it does seem to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now when she cries in the night we know there's something really wrong, like a dirty nappy or a cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2013-08-21T11:57:25.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8709" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8724" CreationDate="2013-08-21T12:07:14.040" Score="2" ViewCount="7630" Body="&lt;p&gt;How to know whether the bottle nipple is damaged or not? What are the indications and how frequently should it be replaced?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T19:51:08.100" Title="How to know whether it is the time to change the nipples?" Tags="|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8686" CreationDate="2013-08-21T12:13:30.570" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hear a couple different things here, so I will approach them 1 at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;First, your girl...&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;News flash: ready? She's 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3 year olds don't know much about anything, let alone how to effectively defend themselves to a bully. So that's where parents come in. Most adults don't even know how to effectively handle a bully. She likely can't even remember what you've told her about what to do because it's based on concepts that are beyond her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So at this point, I'd be less concerned about teaching her dependence upon mom to fix her problems than I would be about her general well being. As a father of 5, I've learned that even the crappy situations have to be prioritized. No, you don't want her to learn the wrong lessons, but her personal safety is more important. And at 3, you're not really teaching her much on dependence anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Second, you're both dealing with bullies.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/379/what-is-the-best-way-to-respond-if-my-child-is-picked-on-by-other-children/7291#7291&quot;&gt;Read this&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; then come back. I like my answer. The rest of my answer here will take into account the context of my answer in that thread mainly because I believe that it applies here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See, bullies hold a special place in my heart because they are &lt;em&gt;willfully&lt;/em&gt; misunderstood. And I take no small amount of pleasure in busting their groove by informing people that their take on bullies flies in the face of what they know to be true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people's solutions to bullying involve either changing the target (themselves, whoever) to avoid inciting the wrath of the bully, OR some level of &lt;strong&gt;hope&lt;/strong&gt; that they will see reason and an appeal to sensibility will work. In my experience, I have found these methods to be &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;100% ineffective.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, you already know who you're dealing with and what her reaction will be -- The other mother is fully aware of the problem and has chosen to do &lt;strong&gt;nothing&lt;/strong&gt; -- yet you &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;hope&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; that a plea for sanity will work; yet you &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;hope&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, you're crossing your fingers, that the next soft appeal for a little sensetivity to your baby's feelings will work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here's another news flash and a little tough love: It won't work. Your daughter will wind up crying, you'll wind up crying out of frustration, the other mother won't care and nobody else will say anything. But I'll bet you already thought of this... willful misunderstanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Side note here: she sounds exactly like the little 6th grade girl who justified her bullying of my 12 yo daughter &amp;quot;I'm just preparing you for what will be coming. There will always be someone older picking on you.&amp;quot;)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;To confront the mother...&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would advise that you don't worry about being nice. But that doesn't mean be a jerk either... just push nice down down down the list of priorities. If the mother is as generally adversarial as you describe, there will be sparks no matter how you approach it, so keep it simple, direct, free of expletives, but stern and solid. Yes, it will be difficult because as adults we're conditioned to 'get along' and I hear a lot of &amp;quot;getting along&amp;quot; from you in your post. It's very difficult to jump from that track into the oncoming traffic of &amp;quot;aggressive issue resolution&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, here's my attempt to give you a little energy towards dealing with it. You wondered how she would be if it was her kid on the receiving end? Well how about putting her on the receiving end...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;That's the Xth time in as many get-togethers that your child has done something to physically hurt my child. I'm asking you plainly: please make it stop. Or is it just OK to allow your kid to hurt the others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a social group with a host. Take that opportunity to ask the host if it's ok with her. Ask the other parents right then and there. A public confrontation with a flash opinion poll. And you will see exactly who you're dealing with. &lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;(I mean this in several different ways and i'm curious what the results are.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Be mentally prepared&lt;/em&gt; for attempts to deflect or derail. Verbal volley ball &amp;quot;well they're tired because you were late&amp;quot; kinda thing. Stay on target... because an idiot will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;none of that has anything to do with your kid hurting mine and you &lt;em&gt;refusing&lt;/em&gt; to do anything about it.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's going to be a difficult scenario for you, but that's nothing that a little practice can't change. Practice the altercation. Consider eventualities. Practice reactions. Talk to yourself in the car (No really, do this. It's ok, laughing truckers don't matter). Allow it to make you angry. A parent's anger can be a force for good when channeled into defending their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Above all else, understand that you're not teaching your 3 yo much of anything with this interaction... you are teaching yourself how to defend your child when you believe they need it. Trust me, you won't regret it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-08-21T12:13:30.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8704" CreationDate="2013-08-21T14:35:35.550" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The normal advice for formula is that you should not re-use a bottle that has been partially used, in line with the advice given above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advice for breastmilk is different (breastmilk naturally has &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/illness-surgery/healing-breastmilk/&quot;&gt;antimicrobial properties&lt;/a&gt;) so it is &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/feeding/breastfeed_storing.html&quot;&gt;generally considered OK&lt;/a&gt; to re-use a bottle of breastmilk. It can be stored at room temperature for up to an hour and in the fridge until the next feed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, once you know how much your baby usually takes, and to avoid wastage, you may find it's easier to store breast milk in small portions so you can make up only the amount needed, or make up only the amount of formula required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-08-21T14:35:35.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8499" CreationDate="2013-08-21T14:36:42.877" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are lots of links to studies showing the beneficial uses of breastmilk here:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/illness-surgery/healing-breastmilk/&quot;&gt;http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/illness-surgery/healing-breastmilk/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, it does not &quot;become a breeding ground for bacteria&quot; due to its natural antimicrobial properties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-08-21T14:36:42.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8713" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-21T16:02:46.197" Score="2" ViewCount="853" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby is suffering from colic.  The doctor prescribed some medicines which contained alcohol along with the active volatile ingrediants like dill oil, cardamon oil, etc. Is there a proven and effective way (preferably a home remedy) to treat colic in a one month old infant?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many websites on the internet which give ayurvedic home remedies. I am interested to know how well a particular remedy worked.  What is the best way to treat colic?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2013-08-22T18:13:52.887" LastActivityDate="2016-06-10T21:37:03.663" Title="Non-alcoholic treatment, medicines, or remedies for infant colic" Tags="|newborn|colic|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8713" CreationDate="2013-08-21T17:16:32.443" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;For our case, the only treatment that &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; worked was wait until she was 3mo. As magic, the colic lowered a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped us relieving it until there (and believe me, it'll pass after few months):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a warmed-up towel, etc, over her stomach&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;doing some massage by stretching her legs, then pulling it back over her stomach (slowly, of course)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;giving her a little bit more breastmilk (more times each day, smaller quantities each time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;giving her a warm hug and walking, slowly, across the house&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2013-08-21T17:16:32.443" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8715" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8722" CreationDate="2013-08-21T19:26:46.630" Score="2" ViewCount="30017" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can we distinguish a colic from other kinds of diseases in a one month old infant? I heard sounds like &quot;eeh&quot; are indicators; is that always true?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2013-08-22T18:11:51.313" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T12:46:13.660" Title="How can we be sure our infant has colic rather than another issue?" Tags="|newborn|colic|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8715" CreationDate="2013-08-21T20:08:10.343" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Colic is used with two different meanings:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;abdominal pain caused by gas or other &quot;digestive issues&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;unexplained crying after ruling out hunger, needing a new diaper, loneliness and medical conditions that can be easily detected (eg broken leg, ear infection)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably mean the first - how can I know there are abdominal pains? - since the second is a diagnosis of ruling everything else out. The two main signals are pulling their legs up (which may help them feel better) and the crying stopping after passing gas or filling their diaper. For more, see this related question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5209/is-my-pediatrician-missing-something-about-my-3-month-olds-gas-pain/8697#8697&quot;&gt;Is my pediatrician missing something about my 3 month old&amp;#39;s gas pain?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-08-22T18:09:37.003" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8717" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-21T20:27:54.057" Score="9" ViewCount="15459" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old is going to have his vaccinations. It seems like when they are younger, you can handle it better. Sow that he is older, and understands more concepts, are there any tricks or things you can do to make the 3 shots better?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have talked to him about it and he pretends he understands, but I know he does not really understand. I think I am freaking out more than he would be, only because he does not know what he is going to go through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1576" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-02-03T01:42:06.873" LastActivityDate="2016-08-11T23:58:43.600" Title="How to prepare my 4-year- old for his 4 year vaccinations?" Tags="|pre-schooler|doctor|immunizations|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8717" CreationDate="2013-08-22T00:17:03.483" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key to lessening pain of a vaccination is not to tense up your muscles. I had my kids practice &quot;make your arm soft&quot; and poke them with my finger. It's easy to demonstrate that a simple finger poke hurts more on a tense arm than a soft one. Then just as the doctor or nurse approaches their arm with the needle, remind them &quot;make your arm soft&quot; and it should hurt little or not at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they have pain and swelling afterwards give them a children's painkiller. Some kids do react poorly to the DPTP especially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-08-22T00:17:03.483" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8701" CreationDate="2013-08-22T09:00:43.663" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apart from getting professional help, I would stop spanking him. Violence begets violence. He has probably suffered enough abuse in his life already, and needs love and understanding from you, even though it may seem impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-08-22T09:00:43.663" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8717" CreationDate="2013-08-22T14:11:23.653" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not spend a lot of time and effort &quot;preparing&quot; him - that way you risk building it up in his mind into a big scary thing. A huge part of pain perception is to do with psychological state and expectations of pain - if you &lt;em&gt;expect&lt;/em&gt; something to hurt, it will hurt more than if you don't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: don't mention it until the day, or even until you're setting off to the medical centre or wherever, then say &quot;Hey, today we're going to get your vaccinations&quot; (you might want to use a more 4-yo-friendly word like &quot;vax&quot;, &quot;jabs&quot;, &quot;shots&quot; etc.). When he says &quot;what's that&quot; you can go into a nice spiel about how it is to help his body fight off bad invaders that might try to get in. Good learning opportunity for explaining about the immune system and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;99% likely he won't even ask &quot;will it hurt&quot;, but if he does, you can just say &quot;it's just a little scratch for a moment when it goes in, but it's very soon over&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-08-22T14:11:23.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8715" CreationDate="2013-08-22T18:07:30.783" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your one month old is regularly crying for 3 hour stretches or more and you've tried everything, then you are probably wondering if your child is a normal baby, is simply colicky, or if your child has another digestive issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Colic&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thinking about colic changes regularly. The standard definition is that colic is crying for 3 hours or more for 3 or more days a week for 3 or more weeks. Colic peaks around 6 weeks and disappears between 12 and 16 weeks. The cause is unknown. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/causes-of-colic.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; covers some possible causes with citations. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thefussybabysite.com/causes/what-is-colic/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This FAQ&lt;/a&gt; cites some popular authors on the issue of colic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Possible Digestive Issues&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reflux&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Reflux Rebels &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.refluxrebels.com/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;website&lt;/a&gt; is great for information, although be warned that it may leave parents of nearly any newborn convinced that their child has reflux. Signs of reflux include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Persistent cough&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gagging during feeding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Arching his or her back during a feeding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Refusal to eat or eating only small portions (for age, remembering that 1 month olds don't eat a lot)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Irritability during feedings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Difficulty swallowing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Frequent spitting up or vomitting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sudden unexplained or constant crying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wet burps (liquid comes up when burping)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Frequent hiccups&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Poor sleep (for age, remembering that normal 1 month olds usually sleep no longer than 3-4 hours in a stretch and more than that is considered especially good)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spells of not breathing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Slow growth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Loss of weight&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[&lt;a href=&quot;http://heartburn.about.com/library/quizzes/bl_infantrefluxquiz.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occasionally a child may have reflux but not sipit up frequently. This is known as silent reflux. You can read more about silent reflux &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.silentinfantreflux.com/silent-infant-reflux/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. This is a list of possible silent reflux symptoms:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Gulping&quot; noises&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Inconsolable, constant crying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Seeming to choke&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Acidic smelling breath&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Arching back during feeding, a swallowed spit-up episode, or before burping&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Aversion to being burped&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Noisy breathing (not including normal newborn breathing)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Poor napping&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Frequent hiccups&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wanting to eat despite not being hungry (can calm irritated throat)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;OR not wanting to eat as with regular reflux&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Respiratory problems&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hoarse voice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Milk Soy Protein Intolerance (MSPI)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A milk soy protein intolerance is the inability to tolerating eating anything that has milk or soy proteins. Formula that is not specially created usually has one, the other, or both. Milk proteins also pass through breastmilk so if a nursing mother eats or drinks dairy the child will be exposed to the milk protein in the milk. There is no test for MSPI - it is diagnosed based on symptoms [&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mspimama.com/p/milk-soy-protein-intolerance.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;] and symtpoms may appear as early as 4 weeks [&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.choice.com.au/blog/2011/october/milk-soy-protein-intolerance.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Source&lt;/a&gt;]. If you suspect MSPI you need to discuss it with your child's medical caregiver, but the Reflux Rebels site has a great guide to how to feed your MSPI baby &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.refluxrebels.com/MSPI/MSPI_Mealtime.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other Options&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following are other, not usually mentioned by pediatrician causes of fussiness to consider and possibly addres:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thefussybabysite.com/causes/overactive-letdown-oald/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Overactive letdown&lt;/a&gt; in a nursing mother (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvsepoct95p71.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;more info&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.llli.org/faq/oversupply.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Oversupply&lt;/a&gt; in a nursing mother leading to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/foremilk.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;foremilk-hindmilk imbalance&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Just Normal Baby Behavior?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you may have already noticed and as WebMD eloquently &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/tc/colic-what-to-expect&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;points out&lt;/a&gt;, newborn behavior, colic symptoms, reflux symptoms, and MSPI symptoms can seem remarkably similar. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Because infants cry more in their first 3 months than at any other time in their lives, it is often difficult to tell the difference between colic and expected crying behavior. Both types of crying gradually increase, peaking at about 6 to 8 weeks of age. Most crying episodes occur in the late afternoon and evening hours, although the timing may vary. The length and intensity of crying episodes also may change from one day to the next.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact there is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://purplecrying.info/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;movement&lt;/a&gt; to term the first months of a baby's life the period of PURPLE crying [&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thefussybabysite.com/coping/period-of-purple/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;more&lt;/a&gt;]  to make people aware that newborns cry - a lot. Purple stands for Peak, Unexpected, Resists Soothing, Pain-like face, Long Lasting, and in the Evening (though it may not always be evening with every baby). You can find more about the acronymn &lt;a href=&quot;http://purplecrying.info/what-is-the-period-of-purple-crying.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby who is not truly colicky, a reflux baby, an MSPI baby, dealing with overactive letdown or foremilk-hindmilk imbalance, and so on may be calmed by the techniques in Harvey Karp's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.happiestbaby.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Happiest Baby on the Block&lt;/a&gt; book and DVD, referred to as the five 'S'-es. Karp believes that for the first 3 months of life babies are adjusting to the world and need the conditions of the womb recreated somewhat to help the adjustment period. His calming techniques work well for many babies. Some babies are more sensitive to the world than others; these people are known as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thefussybabysite.com/causes/characteristics-of-the-spirited-child/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;spirited&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A year ago I was the author of the question Chrys &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8716/2146&quot;&gt;linked&lt;/a&gt;. After all of my searching and wondering, my child's crying wake-ups proved to be a normal part of infant development. Normal newborn behavior is a challenge even without colic, reflux, MSPI, or any of those other concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-08-22T19:02:53.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8709" CreationDate="2013-08-22T18:58:03.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most brands recommend replacing the nipples on a regular basis usually 3 months I think, however I've found they tend to last longer than their recommendations. Usually by the time the baby is ready to move to the next flow the nipples are still working fine. It helps to take good care of them and not use brushes to clean them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to how to tell if there's damage the best thing to do is compare them to a new, unused one. If there are marks, cuts, or big creases that is a sign that the nipple's pretty worn. Put some hot water in the bottle then turn it over and see how quickly the water comes out compared to the new one. If you have much more water coming out of the used one than the new one then there may be a tear or it's just plain worn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-08-22T18:58:03.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8725" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-22T20:27:28.703" Score="4" ViewCount="4441" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two boys aged 3.5 and 2. They are your average rambunctious boys. Pretty good at daycare and with dad, but when it's just mom they start acting out. Not listening. Don't stay in time out. Difficult to put to bed. Fighting with each other. They are fine all day at daycare or when it's just dad. but when mom walks in they do complete personality change to sucky and clingy. I have to leave home for a few days for work every now and then and these are very stressful for my wife. I'm just looking for some advice or suggestions for this behaviour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4703" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-07T12:22:22.763" LastActivityDate="2019-08-07T12:22:22.763" Title="How to deal with two boys becoming sucky and clingy when around their mother?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|discipline|mother|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8717" CreationDate="2013-08-22T20:45:37.793" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you need to calm down about it yourself.  Children cue off their parents' reactions.  If you're freaked out, he will be too.  The mildest disease is 100 times worse than a shot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, don't lie about what it will be like, or else every time you go to a doctor he will expect the worst.  Tell him the facts without either sensationalizing or minimizing.  If he's the kind of person that gets scared easily, put off telling him until you're on the way to the doctor.  Anticipation makes it worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, give him something else to concentrate on.  Say something like, &quot;It hurts, but it will hurt more if you wiggle too much.  Look at me and try to stay as still as you can and relax your arm.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, some kids are going to have a hard time no matter what you do, so just get it over with as quickly as possible and remain calm yourself.  My daughters cry during the event, but stop pretty much immediately after they're sure it's done.  My son starts flipping out, screaming, and thrashing as soon as the needle comes out, and he stops listening to us, so about all we can do is hold him down so the needle won't break off inside him.  He doesn't calm down until we're in the car, and he complains about the shot all day.  We prepare all our kids in the same way.  Sometimes it's just plain out of your hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-08-22T20:45:37.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8725" CreationDate="2013-08-22T21:28:29.847" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a couple possible causes that children act differently for one caregiver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids are known to save their stresses for their primary caregiver. So much of the frustration they felt at daycare they release not there, but in the safety of their mom's (or dad's) presence where they know they will still be loved after throwing a fit. Parents magazine published &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/split-personality-behave-one-parent/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;an article&lt;/a&gt; about this impact 2 years ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you and your wife have a different style of enforcing the rules? Does it seem like your sons can get away with more with their mother than their father or daycare teachers? Is she the one who is always giving that last cup of water at bedtime while you are the one who enforces lights out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might not be that obvious - it might be that your wife could use practice in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/no-bad-kids-toddler-discipline-without-shame-9-guidelines/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;staying calm&lt;/a&gt; during a temper tantrum or providing a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/columnists/charney/charney007.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;logical consequence&lt;/a&gt; to a misbehavior while this response comes naturally to you and the daycare providers are well-versed in it. Even something as small as tone and manner - which are actually huge to toddlers - can make a big difference in their actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you mentioned that your sons are clingy with your wife, I would guess that possibility number 1 is probably a big contributor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-08-22T21:28:29.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8683" CreationDate="2013-08-23T08:35:31.233" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B006YLZ2ZM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Princess Pollys Potty&lt;/a&gt; for my daughter.. she's drying herself from 3 1/2. All kids are different, but assuming she's not wearing nappies anymore, then she should be able to do this &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4075" LastActivityDate="2013-08-23T08:35:31.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8729" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-23T09:59:43.430" Score="16" ViewCount="25997" Body="&lt;p&gt;We live in the UK. My 3½-year-old son loves to be naked. He spends a lot of time running around naked in our garden on hot days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We went to the beach during the Summer, and - since we forgot to bring any swimming trunks, and it was boiling hot - we let him play naked there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think the appropriate age is to stop your child being naked in public?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2061" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-06-25T13:19:24.320" LastActivityDate="2019-06-25T13:19:24.320" Title="At what age is it no longer appropriate for your child to be naked in public (e.g. on the beach)?" Tags="|pre-schooler|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8701" CreationDate="2013-08-23T11:21:14.917" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;What will you do when professionals diagnose him with brain trauma?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would you start caring more?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would you be more understanding towards him?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would you allow him to behave like he is doing now?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pay special attention to what he should be doing during the day?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The logical side of the brain doesn't understand emotion. A dog suffering from pain when he pulls its legs apart isn't something the left side of the brain is concerned with.&#xA;Everybody is left &amp;lt;-&gt; right unbalanced. Some more than others. In combination with some traumas this might result in such behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For sure the boy is unbalanced. Bringing him back to balance is key. Sounds simple enough, but sure might be a challenge. What counters its behavior could be the remedy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do lots of things that involve activity for the right hemisphere of the brain. Music, sports, fun fairs, etc, ... So lots of quality time. Make him feel he is important to you. That will evolve to a feeling of being important to the world around him. Do all sort of things that involve emotion. Stimulate the development of his emotions. Do not ask why he did something when he did something that can not be tolerated. Answering such questions requires processing power of the left side of the brain. Show him how sad it makes you instead, but don't judge him. Never judge him, how it hard that might seem. Always love him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you come to realize that you must develop your own emotional side more before you can (effectively) stimulate his...&#xA;Example: If you THINK that you have developed your emotional side 'enough' already (with lots of reasons/arguments like, I am a grown up, etc.etc...) then you emotional side requires more attention. If you FEEL you already have, then use it on the boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And never talk about his bad behavior in while the boy is present as well. Do not think he can't hear you or he doesn't understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And force him (yes you read it well, FORCE) to communicate with emotion. When he is angry and wants you to do something, don't, although what he is asking you to do is reasonable, don't do it until his attitude/emotion is the way it should be. Do not let him hide behind words, saying he does/will do/didn't do something, while his body language and all says otherwise, isn't good enough (honest if you will). But always allow him to correct his mistakes, always make him feel that he is important to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4705" LastEditDate="2013-08-23T11:28:26.977" LastActivityDate="2013-08-23T11:28:26.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8705" CreationDate="2013-08-23T11:53:23.067" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always do it like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say to him he is going to bed. He doesn't want to because he is playing (somethings he wants to himself). I let him put down his toys by himself, telling him to do so. I have a moment of patience, but when it takes too long, i pick him up and put his toys down for him. Most of the time he chooses to do it him self.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I let him kiss his mother and younger brother good night. Which he always does, even when he is upset because he was playing with his toys. He always has the rest to gently kiss his baby brother and his mother.&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I brush his teeth first, then let him play with the brush for a moment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I put him to bed and prepare his room, give him his pacifier, close his curtains and so own.&#xA;NOTE: During all of this I try to be cheerful and playful, and he is as wel.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I tuck him in his sleeping bag, give him some well ment kisses, and trust him to go to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I walk out the room, not looking at him anymore, while I say: &quot;Have a good night of rest and beautifull dreams&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did it like this from the start, and its never a problem. Whe he cries at night, I go check right away. He never cries for attention. Or he is too hot/cold, wants to drink, lost all of his pacifiers, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest a similar approach. Just do it. It might cost a couple of days for it to start working. But it will. He WILL respond to you with crying and all, being mad with you and such. Thats normal, you suddenly change behavior and he is clueless why. Let him feel its all right and be confident. Being confident in what you are doing is key here. Because you are the one he relies on, if you are not confident, how can he go to sleep feeling restful and confident?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastActivityDate="2013-08-23T11:53:23.067" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8729" CreationDate="2013-08-23T12:35:21.840" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its well accepted for children to be naked and shameless about it. I think the environment is an important factor. As soon as the child starts feeling shame for itself being naked, OR when its environments starts responding differently towards the child being naked, its time to clothe him appropriately. The environment is a factor that you should not ignore, even though the child is still shameless. Because a child so young can not put in perspective why people are behaving differently towards it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g. You can only ignore the 'crowds/people' opinions when you can put it in perspective and choose to continue behaving/doing what is being opinioned without FEELING social 'pressure'. But this is a choice only a person(child?) can make for it self, nobody can make this choice for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do not want to burden your child with feelings of social 'pressure' while it doesn't understand where its originating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My statements may be stretched/dramatized, but its for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So at what age is a quantitative question, that cannot be answered here. It totally depends on the community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4705" LastEditDate="2013-08-23T12:42:11.730" LastActivityDate="2013-08-23T12:42:11.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8701" CreationDate="2013-08-23T13:21:35.317" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things you can do right now:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get the dogs away from him. Don't tell him you're doing so, don't tell him it's because of how he treated them, but no more access to the dogs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stop hitting him. Start to learn how to get through in other ways (it will take a while to learn this and it's hard.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tell the school you want an IEP - Individualized Education Plan - and get that rolling now. This may include adaptations like sitting apart in the classroom, not being asked to do certain things, having an aide present, and the like&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;consider being in the classroom for a day or two to see how he reacts to the teacher, the environment, and the other students so you can provide guidance to the school on minimizing things that upset him (see * below)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;continue to explore professional help from both the physiological (brain injury) and emotional/psychological (abandonment) fronts&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[* Simple example: a Grade 3 (9 yo) student with major anger problems related to having the right stuff in the classroom eg pencils and being disciplined (sent out of the classroom) for being unprepared. A $2 box of 100 golf pencils, and 3 or 4 pencils in each pocket, more in the backpack, more in the locker, a dozen in the desk, and the box by the front door --&gt; no more pencil frustration. Adults can think of simple things that make a world of difference, once they see the situation. That child grew out of the anger problems over a year or two and reducing the number of battles was a big reason why.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not hold him to arbitrary communication standards like &quot;look at me when I'm telling you off!&quot; or &quot;tell me why you did that awful thing!&quot;. You are unlikely to succeed, and even if you did, it wouldn't keep him from doing the awful things and won't really make you feel better either. Focus on telling him consequences: that hurts the puppy; now the school staff have to clean this desk; that scared Suzy - and where feasible involve him in the consequences (clean something at school or home; apologize to the other child) but not as &quot;I want you to feel bad about what you did&quot; and more as &quot;I want you to learn what this experience is&quot; since he seems to be disconnected from that part of reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want his absolute bedrock to be that he can count on you. Not to forgive him no matter what he does, but to love him, to try to understand him, to help him, and to protect him. To teach him things that &quot;everybody should know&quot; but that he clearly doesn't. To show him better ways to express his anger and frustration, and to help reduce them too. This is a long road. It's probably not what you expected. But you can help. Get plenty of trained professionals to join you - they will, and it can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-08-23T13:21:35.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8683" CreationDate="2013-08-23T19:29:38.893" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's a set age, but once a child is doing relatively well at potty training, I think it's a good idea to start letting her at least practice wiping, and you can help. Then once you see she's doing a fairly good job at it, she can do it herself all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2936" LastActivityDate="2013-08-23T19:29:38.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="238" CreationDate="2013-08-24T16:35:08.193" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe it's up the the children to make this decision. I believe that an 8 year old boy should not be bathing with his 4 year old sister. I think at that age they need to learn about privacy and respect for the other. I understand that it's much faster to do them together but it's not always the best. By 8 years old he could be introduced to the shower and getting more independent about his hygiene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4709" LastActivityDate="2013-08-24T16:35:08.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8729" CreationDate="2013-08-24T18:45:45.067" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is entirely subjective according to where you live. In some places any nudity at all, even in children, is unacceptable. In other places nudity at any age is acceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the UK I think that 3 and a half is ok, by the time they are five it's generally expected for them to have trunks on in public, in fact that's pushing it a bit. In the US once they are 2 it's really expected they have trunks on, but then again it depends on where you are in the US. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-08-24T18:45:45.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8349" CreationDate="2013-08-25T03:53:47.297" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Constipation becomes difficult to remedy the longer it takes for a bowel movement to occur. You may have to use some remedies or laxatives such as glycerin to &quot;push&quot; it along. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4628" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2013-08-26T20:38:04.147" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T20:38:04.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8700" CreationDate="2013-08-25T03:59:10.880" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to teach your child something is just to turn it's attention to it every single time.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So just tell it every time &quot;When we walking, we put the legs on ground swiftly&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Yet, try to find for yourself, if you really need it to stop the stomping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4628" LastActivityDate="2013-08-25T03:59:10.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8729" CreationDate="2013-08-25T14:26:43.053" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There &lt;strong&gt;should&lt;/strong&gt; be no age restriction on nudity. Some locations have a fairly mature view on this which is why you get naturist and nudist areas and beaches, and many where clothing is optional, but other places are very strict so you need to follow their local guidelines to avoid trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When making decisions like this though, make sure your child doesn't feel like the clothing is because they have done anything wrong or should feel guilty. Make them aware that it is just okay in some places but not others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-08-25T14:26:43.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8741" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8809" CreationDate="2013-08-25T15:30:18.320" Score="24" ViewCount="1477" Body="&lt;p&gt;The autistic child (Asperger Syndrome, age: 12) is constantly mobbed by other children, both in school and on the way home. It includes calling him names, mocking, showing faces, pushing, threatening, taking off his things (such as a cap or gloves in winter), planting feet etc. It seems that the children have developed even a custom code of mobbing, with nuanced behaviors that are not considered offensive by others, such as using special faces or special words, so the poor boy is bullied even in front of adults (teachers). Bullying usually causes in him outbursts of aggression, which include cursing and throwing things (he has once thrown a chair out of a window at school). The teachers are already prejudiced against him, considering him to be aggressive and harsh-languaged. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What measures can be taken in that case to teach this child to control the aggression? It is quite obvious that the other kids are bullying him not for the sake of bullying, but because of his outbursts of aggression, which are very funny for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, such repetitive mobbing has made very deep behavioral changes, and Asperger's makes things worse, because the answers from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/379/what-is-the-best-way-to-respond-if-my-child-is-picked-on-by-other-children&quot;&gt;How to respond if my child is picked on by other children?&lt;/a&gt; are virtually useless in that case, for example building self-confidence relying on social background (friends) or trying to understand other people's motives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4712" LastEditorUserId="26750" LastEditDate="2018-03-29T04:04:06.787" LastActivityDate="2018-03-29T04:04:06.787" Title="Autistic child constantly mobbed by other children - what can be done?" Tags="|school|bullying|autism|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8729" CreationDate="2013-08-25T16:34:54.410" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;It strongly depends on the country you live in. Regulations will be quite different in Saudi Arabia and in Germany.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Germany, many local regulations allow children up to 6 years to stay naked in swimming pools, while on beaches staying naked is perfectly OK for adults too. However, it wouldn't be allowed to run naked in park, but in case of children, as long as nobody gets offended it should be OK. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, people shouldn't feel offended by naked children, because children are no danger for them. That are adults that are potential danger for children, not the other way round. But it's highly culture-specific. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If people start complaining, I don't think your son would still feel comfortable with being naked. But as long as other people are OK, there's no need to restrict him, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4712" LastActivityDate="2013-08-25T16:34:54.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8743" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8754" CreationDate="2013-08-26T14:00:52.913" Score="5" ViewCount="1721" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-month old will hardly let anybody &quot;new&quot; pick him up, or spend time with him if his mother or I aren't present. His current nanny and one set of grandparents (which have spent a lot of time with him) are OK, but his other grandparents, uncles, aunts, and pretty much anybody else send him into a frantic bout of terrified bawling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother wants to be able to babysit, and we're moving to a new daycare in a few weeks. I've tried giving my parents &quot;alone-time&quot; with him, so they can get used to each other; he calms down to a certain degree, but remains upset, clingy, and quick to cry, and he lunges at me desperately as soon as I return. He isn't any more welcoming after several days of a family vacation all together, or after this &quot;alone-time&quot;. I'm worried that our attempts to get him used to someone else being with him are doing more for his anxiety than for his comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? Is there something we can do to help him adjust to new people? Is there anything we can do to smooth the transition to a new daycare?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T13:26:51.303" Title="8-month old terrified of new caretakers" Tags="|infant|social-development|fears|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8743" CreationDate="2013-08-26T17:04:08.493" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, this is kinda usual. Some kids are wide-open with everyone, and some are routine-driven and prefer just 'their' people. I have one of each: my daughter, who is now 5, still prefers Mama to EVERYONE.  It was two YEARS before she'd let either grandmother hold her.  The other one loves everyone and has never met a stranger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the older one, time was the cure.  We'd leave her with trusted individuals despite the caterwauling.  Sometimes she'd settle down after we left, sometimes she'd holler the whole time.  YMMV.  But repeated visits did the trick, so you're doing the right thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's actually ok that he's all about the parents when y'all return.  You want him to prefer his parents at this stage over most other people.  And I'm sure the daycare has dealt with this a zillion times before; they should have tested strategies in dealing with separation anxiety and routine-driven children.  Feel free to talk to them as often as you need to, both to share observations and to brainstorm solutions; if they aren't open to this, it's probably not the environment you want for your child anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So do what you're doing: get him alone time with the people you want him to be with, communicate a lot with caregivers, and hang in there.  This will improve with practice and repetition.  And be kind to yourself; separation anxiety sucks for the parents too, and there were many times I'd cry after dropping off my kids at daycare and having them wail for Mama.  Now, though, we're past that and they're fine and they know Mama is always coming back to get them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T17:04:08.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8743" CreationDate="2013-08-26T17:59:51.070" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is relatively common. Beginning about 9 months, my daughter started recognizing Mommy, Daddy, Mimi and Poppy (my wife's parents who live half an hour away and love babysitting), but while she was (and still is) smiley and even chatty with almost anyone else in the &quot;right&quot; circumstances (such as being held or in her stroller), if there is a good possibility that the other person might end up holding her, she doesn't like the idea of being exposed and away from Mommy and Daddy, and starts becoming clingy and skittish. If we hand her off while she's in this mode, it's a wail-fest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She typically warms up to people who stay a while, especially if she is allowed to make their acquaintance on her terms (crawling over to them and pulling up after deciding they're not so scary after all).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is very likely beginning a similar phase, and you're not allowing him sufficient time to get used to the idea of other people not being strangers. Similar to our daughter, it's not actually &quot;alone time&quot; he needs, it's &quot;together time&quot;, with at least one person he's used to as a &quot;home base&quot; he can return to at any time if he feels unsafe. After a while, knowing you're around, he'll get to know the others in the room, and become comfortable around them at least for as long as he remembers them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2013-08-26T22:30:05.563" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T22:30:05.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8743" CreationDate="2013-08-26T18:27:55.690" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Agreed with most of the comments above. Once a child adopts a certain set of behaviors, it takes a lot of trial-and-error and patience to make adjustments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My recommendation is the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Move slowly&lt;/strong&gt; - Your child clearly loves and wants to be with you. Any sudden shift will be disruptive. What you want to do is slowly increase the time. Test this with family members/nannies that are always there. While some people may believe that a quick transition is better (like ripping off a band-aid), slow and deliberate time helps the child transition because they can get used to it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep trying&lt;/strong&gt; - A large part of parenting is learning to be persistent. This is because over time, consistency and structure is appreciated by children. My daughter wouldn't take the bottle for weeks, but we plugged away and eventually there was a moment of clarity where things &lt;em&gt;just worked&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Provide Heads Up&lt;/strong&gt; - Don't try to do everything yourself. It seems like you have a great network already. Get them to help. Provide them with expectations that your child needs time to transition and that they should keep be persistent, and to trying (see #2 and #1).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. Hope to hear the good news soon!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4717" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2013-08-26T20:32:46.467" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T20:32:46.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8705" CreationDate="2013-08-26T18:38:38.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;They (pediatricians, other baby experts) will tell you that a baby should be sleeping through the night at 6 months, which is about the same time you can begin transitioning to mushy foods like cereals, which will keep him or her fuller longer than milk. What they don't tell you is that 6 hours is considered &quot;through the night&quot; for infants up to 2 years, so if you're trying to put L.O. down at 8 PM you can expect to be woken up at 2 AM every so often for quite some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 28 months, your child should be long used to genuinely sleeping through the night (8-10 hours) on his own. He seems to be stuck in the same sleep patterns a young infant has, sleeping hard for two to three hours, waking up from light Stage 1 or 2 sleep and not knowing how to fall back asleep on his own (because he never learned; he always fell asleep in Mommy's arms).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first, I said Dr Ferber could kiss my first-time-parent ass; infants need to know that Mommy and Daddy are there when they're needed, or they don't learn how to trust, which can haunt them for life. However, there comes a time when love has to get a little tougher, and boundaries must be set. This typically starts about the year mark, or as soon as your baby's standing and cruising (and so can cause damage), whichever comes first. One of the boundaries is bedtime. He needs to learn that nighttime is Mommy and Daddy's time to sleep without him. If he needs them, they're there, but not at his every beck and call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still don't advise ignoring his cries outright. I advise going to him (or responding to him if he's old enough to get out of the crib or toddler bed and come to you), seeing if he's all right, and if there's no emergency like a dirty diaper or he's really hungry or thirsty, laying him back down in his crib (don't pick him up if he never left), tucking him in, and saying he needs to go back to sleep. He's not going to like this; it's not the reaction he's used to getting from you, which is to take him into the bedroom and let him fall asleep there. He'll wail; &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; you ignore it, at least for 15-30 minutes, before repeating the process. You're establishing a new cause-and-effect; crying or yelling for Mommy gets a response, but not the one he was after, and continuing to cry after Mommy's been in isn't doing anything for him except giving him a headache, sore throat and tiring him out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soon enough, he'll realize that there's &lt;em&gt;nothing&lt;/em&gt; he can do while it's dark outside that will get him back into Mommy and Daddy's bed, and he'll adapt; he'll eventually learn to &quot;self-soothe&quot; when he wakes up, allowing him to fall back asleep after waking in a more adult sleep pattern, and for you to stay asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once this occurs, or as it's happening, you need to make sure you respond when your L.O. wakes up with more than a couple of perfunctory cries. My wife originally thought that our daughter, after the year mark, should be fine from sundown to sunup and that &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; crying was to be ignored. One night, after 45 minutes of persistent, &quot;angry&quot; crying, and against her sleepy command not to go, I went in to find her in soaked PJs, shivering and crying herself hoarse, because the cheap diapers we were trying couldn't handle overnight use (especially when bedtime was prefaced with a 10-ounce bottle). We resolved that night to differentiate between the sleepy &quot;I'm awake, anyone gonna start my day?&quot; crying and the &quot;something is seriously wrong&quot; crying (and to switch to better name-brand diapers for nighttime, and use up the cheap ones during the day). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2013-08-26T18:45:05.913" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T18:45:05.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8709" CreationDate="2013-08-26T18:52:35.877" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I too have found that nipples tend to last longer than the recommendations; they just want another $20 from me to replace all the nipples in all my baby's bottles every 3 months. While they do grow into more free-flowing nipples over time, once you reach the Stage 3 and 4 steady-state the nipples are durable enough for your child to use for the 6 to 9 months (or longer) until they've moved on to sippy cups, unless your child is actively teething on them (and our daughter found that we gave her plenty of other more chewy things than the bottle).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prefer the clear silicone nipples to the yellowish beige rubber, and those are easy to tell when they've been damaged; you'll see the split almost like you would a crack in glass. Typically the cracks show best when dry. Especially check around the tip; for bottles that aren't y-cut, any visible split anywhere in the silicone is an indicator that it's about to fail if it hasn't already, and it needs to be replaced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="2489" LastEditDate="2013-08-26T19:51:08.100" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T19:51:08.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8664" CreationDate="2013-08-26T19:45:38.110" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Porn is, even to adults, the junk food of sex; it is a complete fantasy, and while some of it may be plausible, the primary reason to watch porn is to see something you're not getting in your everyday life. While a certain amount of such escapism is normal and even healthy, it depicts activities that are typically more fun to do than to watch. A few genres depict acts that are unsafe and even illegal to perform in &quot;real life&quot;, even between consenting adults. And porn doesn't show what happens behind the scenes or when the cameras stop rolling; there's a lot of more than slightly illegal activities like prostitution, drugs, human trafficking, kickbacks/shakedowns, and other organized criminal activity that are inextricably linked to pornography.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The general harm that pornography and other &quot;mature content&quot; like violence, language etc have on young children is that they contribute towards the child's definition of &quot;normal&quot;. Children often lack the &quot;content filter&quot; (heck, even many adults don't have it) that allows them to differentiate reality from fantasy. We tell children stories, and those stories mold their understanding of the world. The same happens when they view TV or play video games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, by watching pornography, kids absorb what's on screen and think that behavior is &quot;normal&quot;. While sex itself is indeed normal, &lt;em&gt;between consenting, loving adult partners&lt;/em&gt;, the actors are just that, and they're picked for, &lt;em&gt;ahem&lt;/em&gt;, measurements and other physical traits that are typically found in a small minority of the &quot;real world&quot; (if at all; a lot of what you see in porn is the result of often-dangerous and damaging surgical enhancement), the same as supermodels, movie celebs and other people who spend a significant time in front of a camera. The plots and situations the actors play out are extremely unlikely (if not, as I said, illegal), the behavior is often degrading and even humiliating, and virtually every emotion you see played on screen is fake. In short, it's an act, a fantasy. It's not normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T19:45:38.110" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8713" CreationDate="2013-08-26T20:17:53.437" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Look into Dr Karp's five S's to stop the crying, which will then cure most known painful effects of colic (namely swallowing air, which expands the stomach and causes reflux and gas) which will reduce the colic itself:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling: At one month this should still be effective, though at first it may not seem so. Look up how to do a &amp;quot;DUDU&amp;quot; (down-up-down-up) swaddle using a receiving blanket, or you can invest in a few HALO Sleep Sack swaddles or SwaddleMe wraps. Wrap your child very firmly, bordering on tight; many parents don't do it tight enough, and the child simply breaks free of the swaddle. Your child will probably not like this, so you may think it's not working, but it's only step one...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Side-holding: This is magical. I saw Dr Karp's video in a prenatal class, and thought it was video trickery; they were just showing the extreme minority on whom it worked. Then I tried it on our daughter when she was going through her first crying phase, and lo and behold it's a near instant crying stopper. It's exactly what it sounds like; instead of holding your baby on his or her back, or straight up and down (bad for a baby who can't lift their head), hold them on their side, along your forearm(s), with one shoulder facing down and the other up, and their head in your hand. They can face in or out; your choice, I usually opted for outward. You may call this the &amp;quot;football hold&amp;quot;. When swaddled and side-held, your baby will almost immediately calm themselves. It's instinctive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Shushing: The first two were usually enough about 75% of the time for our daughter (when she wasn't hungry; obviously that's the first thing you check, and if baby isn't interested, move on). Sometimes, though, she wanted to see what we were made of. The third step is basically white noise, and rather loud. Up till about six months, instincts learned in the womb are still very fresh, and that includes being used to the rather noisy environment in Mom's belly. Everything from the heartbeat to digesting noises to her voice to sound waves entering the womb from around the house and elsewhere makes it a cacophony inside a liquid environment. To replicate that, you simply lean in to her ear, and make a loud, constant &amp;quot;SHHHHHHHH&amp;quot;. Don't get too close, but really unless you're forming a seal and blowing directly in baby's ear (or in baby's face; there's a reflex that stops them breathing) you're not doing any damage. If you're around the house, a hair dryer (heat off, and not pointed at baby) or a vacuum cleaner provide similar white noises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Swinging: Less a calming technique, more a keep-calm technique. Get yourself a mechanical swing; it is the single best investment you will make as a new parent. Once your baby has calmed down through some other combination of actions, and you need some time with both hands free, put them in the swing and set it on high. The motion, and the fact that most swings keep baby's head inclined, will keep her calm; the rhythmic motion is soothing. It probably won't work to calm them down in the first place, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also a motion kind of like &amp;quot;jiggling&amp;quot;; you cup baby's head in both hands and rhythmically move it in a circle very gently. You have to see it done to know how to do it, so don't do it on my description alone, and &lt;em&gt;never shake a baby, for any reason, ever&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sucking: Once your baby's breastfeeding like a champ, or if you're bottle-feeding, a pacifier is baby's mute button. Put it in baby's mouth, touching the roof of the mouth, and it triggers an instinct to suck. You can do the same with a finger (just don't gag baby; one knuckle deep is usually fine). Again, because it's the pressure on the roof of the mouth that triggers the reflex, the proper response if baby wants to spit the passy isn't to hold it in; gently pulling outward or downward will re-trigger baby's interest. You'll have to wean them sooner or later (for us our daughter simply became disinterested in passies and more interested in trying to talk to us not long after her first birthday) but use it while they'll take it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-08-26T22:33:41.480" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8743" CreationDate="2013-08-27T01:23:25.827" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter entered the separation anxiety phase and stranger anxiety phase around 11 months. Now at 18 months she is still in the midst of it. Whenever we take her to the pediatrician's for a check-up she begins screaming whenever the doctor gets close to her. The doctor always smiles and says, &quot;Well this is right where she should be developmentally.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I work outside of the home two days a week and my husband works outside of the home full time, so on two days my daughter is with a nanny who has cared for her since she was 3 months old. That didn't stop her from protesting whenever I left for a little while. When I looked into how to handle the transition, this was the advice I received. This advice is for a caregiver whom your child is already familiar with, such as your mother. For the new daycare I assume you are doing at least a half day trial run or something like that to ease your son in? If so then this will apply after he's eased in, not at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Never sneak out.&lt;/strong&gt; If you do that you teach your child that you might disappear anytime he isn't paying attention. This only makes the problem worse.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't seem overly upset to leave yourself.&lt;/strong&gt; It might seem like by mirroring your child's sadness you can calm him down, but what you'll actually do is send the message that you leaving is truly horrible. &lt;em&gt;Do&lt;/em&gt; take a moment to acknowledge his feelings. &quot;You're sad. You don't want Mommy and Daddy to go. You're sad. You want us to stay.&quot; Then take a minute to let him know what's going to happen. &quot;But sweetheart we have to go now to [do whatever]. We will be back after your nap. Are you ready for a snack with Grandma? I think Grandma brought you [your favorite fruit].&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Once you leave, do it quickly without lots of returning for one last kiss.&lt;/strong&gt; If you keep coming back and back as your child cries you'll teach him to keep crying for you to come back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know these three bullet points may seem cruel, but at least in the case of the daycare your child has to handle the separation from his parents. Following these steps will help him to minimize the time when he feels anxiety over the separation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T01:23:25.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8701" CreationDate="2013-08-27T12:51:44.463" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like he had a tough life so far... I feel sorry for him. For sure he's not being malicious because he wants to, I hope that thought helps you cope with his behavior a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other answers already said a lot but I wanted to bring up nutrition as well. Bad nutrition early in life can lead to a host of problems, and there are many anecdotal examples from schools and prisons that diet has an impact on behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can read a really dramatic example on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://paleoparents.com/our-before-after-story/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Paleo Parents Blog&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Cole, the oldest at 5 years, had always had behavioral, self-control&#xA;  issues that led to him nearly being expelled from preschool for&#xA;  repeated incidents of hurting children. Always a wonderfully nice boy&#xA;  with never any malice intent, his brain and body just weren’t&#xA;  connecting for him to be able to find self control.  Hugs became&#xA;  tackles and playful games of superheroes on the playground led to&#xA;  choke holds in the mulch.  The dietary changes put him in control of&#xA;  his body immediately.  He became a renewed person, the one we knew was&#xA;  there all along, almost overnight. By the end of kindergarten he was&#xA;  praised as being not only the best behaved child in class but the&#xA;  “healthiest eater” as well.   The facts that his asthma disappeared&#xA;  and his weight is no longer “off the chart” were cherries on the Paleo&#xA;  sundae.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that can lead to problems are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sugar&lt;/strong&gt;, including fruit juices. In my opinion kids should not get anything sweetened on a daily basis. Fresh whole fruit is ok.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Vegetable fats&lt;/strong&gt;, including margarine and cooking oils. Any oil that has more than 4% total &lt;strong&gt;Omega-6&lt;/strong&gt; and/or &lt;strong&gt;Omega-3&lt;/strong&gt; should be used sparingly, quickly and unheated. Good fats are butter, tallow, coconut oil, lard, olive oil (use after cooking) etc. They can handle heat well and provide fat-soluble nutrients.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Grains and legumes&lt;/strong&gt;, especially wheat. Consumption of these can lead to malnutrition in a number of ways, as well as some intestinal damage and immune reactions. Some people are more sensitive to this than others, but rest assured that daily wheat consumption is not a good idea for anybody.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So striving to limit the above while providing nourishing foods (like egg yolk, meats including organ meats, varied vegetables and root vegetables like carrots and potatoes) might help or at the very least it won't hurt. Personally I follow the &lt;a href=&quot;http://perfecthealthdiet.com/the-diet/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Perfect Health Diet&lt;/a&gt; with great results on health and weight but do shop around, learning about how the SAD (Standard American Diet) is not doing anyone any favors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, there are a number of neurological conditions including epilepsy and schizophrenia where at least some patients report improvements when following a ketogenic diet. &lt;a href=&quot;http://perfecthealthdiet.com/2011/02/ketogenic-diet-for-nbia-neurodegeneration-with-brain-iron-accumulation/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's an extreme example of improvements on a ketogenic diet&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in conclusion, I wish you all the best in coping with this and I hope that you find something that helps. Diet alone probably won't be enough but chances are good that it will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T12:51:44.463" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8741" CreationDate="2013-08-27T12:58:06.210" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;His classmates are rewarded by the spectacle of his tantrums as well as the group feeling of having a common target.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless he can control the tantrums and ignore all taunts, I fear the only option is to change his environment to a more welcoming one. That may mean changing schools or getting ALL the parents to make sure their children behave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T12:58:06.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8743" CreationDate="2013-08-27T13:26:51.303" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Basically I remember when my daughter would be happily playing. Then I'd try to leave the room and... yeahIthinkNO. The emotions expressed ranged from &quot;No&quot; to &quot;HOW DARE YOU SIR!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that below 2 years, their emotions are very immediate, there's no &quot;It's just 5 minutes&quot;, they're unhappy &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;. Because of this, the gap between &quot;Worst thing ever&quot; and &quot;Oh so awesome&quot; is pretty quick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, &lt;strong&gt;remember that when you leave him with other people it's as much for your benefit as his&lt;/strong&gt;. A bit of self-care is a &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; thing, especially when the alternative is frustration at his own complete self-centred nature (You're tired? &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;BABY CARES NOT&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;). If you need a break, just take the break and relax. He's perfectly safe, it's just he wants you to do something else, and negotiation is for older children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, this will get better. You have to remember that he's been basically in constant contact with about 3-5 people his entire life. All of you out of the room is a big shift, and it takes time to deal with. However, even as it gets better, &lt;strong&gt;he may not let you know&lt;/strong&gt;. Our 15-month daughter still rages like a hellhound as long as we might be able to hear her. What we've found is that &lt;em&gt;when we've left&lt;/em&gt;, she settles down, especially if someone's making an effort to entertain her (We've found the gap between &quot;HOW DARE... Oh they've gone, okay let's play&quot; is about 2-3 minutes). &lt;strong&gt;Confirmation that he's settled from people via phone is important for your piece of mind, make sure to ask for it.&lt;/strong&gt; It costs them nothing, and really makes you feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirdly, &lt;strong&gt;how you leave is important&lt;/strong&gt;. It's always tempting to fuss, and you certainly don't want him unaware that you're going, but once you've committed to the bye, don't look back or try to calm him down, as it just makes your leaving a bigger deal. Very often, the fact that you're feeling guilty/upset about it (which is perfectly normal) is what's upsetting him, and as you can't fake being okay with leaving, just leave him with the happy people and go sob on the bus. If you ever want someone else to be looking after him, suck it up, &lt;strong&gt;wave bye-bye&lt;/strong&gt;, possibly a peck on the cheek, walk out, and let your boy inform you of the unacceptability of this decision. Then stop at the corner to mope a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, it sounds like you're worried that he'll develop insecurities if you leave. While this is true at a very young age, and might be if he's already a bit insecure and not being given enough attention (e.g. very large nursery/daycare classes), &lt;strong&gt;nothing you are doing will make him a basket case&lt;/strong&gt;. As long as you do come back, he'll get used the fact that you will come back. He may still be against you leaving, but that's a nice problem to have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T13:26:51.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8725" CreationDate="2013-08-27T14:30:57.030" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many boys at this age behave in a self-centered way unless this is overpowered by another &quot;force&quot; which can be a positive or a negative influence.  I would also begin taking careful note of how much of the behavior by the  2 year-old is his own idea and not just following the leader. Your problem may be a him problem, not a them problem. In the twos there may not be much reasoning going on, at least as we adults understand reasoning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the help of a neutral observer (friend with parenting experience) see if the change in Mom's presence is simply a me-centered habit that needs to be changed, Mom's completely different expectations or actual volitional behavior. Self-control is not a area of instruction common to parenting today. But it is a goal that can be communicated to and practiced with children under 5. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should also note that parents need to exemplify self-control for the training to be of any value. I also promote the idea of explaining the moral reasoning behind the behavior at a young age. When you say &quot;We don't do this because...&quot; at times when the behavior is not an issue, you are planting seeds for morally based action later. A moral idea (such as don't hurt others) can be placed in the child's inventory. Then the child can be trained to act according to his morals. The osmosis method for moral training is very slow. Deliberate moral training is hard work, but works well with young ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4722" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T14:30:57.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8688" CreationDate="2013-08-27T14:44:07.810" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a big difference between &quot;need assistance&quot; and &quot;want assistance&quot; in childbirth. Think about what our culture communicates about childbirth. Many describe it as 10 times worse than a visit to the dentist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No surprise that so many want assistance. And since it will only happen a small number of times for most, arranging for assistance is no big deal. Most deliveries are about pain management. That is not to say there aren't real needs in birth. But statistically, they are small numbers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4722" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T14:44:07.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8679" CreationDate="2013-08-27T15:02:32.587" Score="-9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your ruling is consistent and sensible.  Many teens don't appreciate good sense, they want what they want, regardless of what is in their best interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a great example of how parenting in the trenches of real life can be tough.  I stand with you, knowing it will be hard. There may be no way to avoid upsetting her. It may take some years, but I would say your daughter will eventually respect this kind of love shown to her.  Now if this sensible decision is given in a sea of inconsistency, your daughter will understandably be upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your position on homosexuality is your decision, but please make sure your daughter is aware of what this means for her. Identifying with a vocal minority will have side effects and it would be unloving of you soften the societal blow she might suffer. Tell her to seek the whole truth before doing something that she might no be able to undo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4722" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T15:02:32.587" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8717" CreationDate="2013-08-27T22:06:44.327" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I need an annual flu shot or other vaccination, I like to bring my son with me (schedule permitting) so he can watch.  Seeing me go through it, understand that we all have to do it, and that it's not a big deal or especially painful, makes it less of an anxiety when he needs to have one himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also discussed often (even at age 4) the purpose of vaccinations, and how because of vaccinations many awful diseases are now extremely rare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2013-08-27T22:06:44.327" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8725" CreationDate="2013-08-28T06:32:03.037" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every human action depends on the environment, and most of the environment is people around us. As behavioral psychology says, our actions are reactions to some stimulation.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So to find out the cure to your problem, try to find, what kind of your acts is causing this reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4628" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-06T12:13:07.910" LastActivityDate="2019-08-06T12:13:07.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2013-08-28T09:15:27.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;At ten to twelve months, no, not really.  At 18 months, yes.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to a study by Pruden, Hirsh-Pasek, Golinkoff, and Hennon (&lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2006.00869.x&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;abstract&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.researchgate.net/publication/7169356/file/d912f4fbfacfd08942.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;full text&lt;/a&gt;), ten-month-old babies learn words for objects that they find interesting, not words that speakers direct them to learn.  However, by 18 months, they learn words through attention to social cues.  (See p. 267 – 268.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2013-08-28T09:15:27.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2013-08-28T11:56:49.220" Score="0" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Carpe momentum&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important that you should not give much effort to teach the child when he/she is not interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to recognize moments when the child pays extra attention, and grasp those moments to teach them what you want. I noticed some times with my youngest boy that he sometimes payed extra attention to my mouth when I spoke, and it was quite clear that he tried to recognize how I moved my mouth to make the sounds. In those moments I made sure to speak clearly so it would be easier for him to pick up how I did it. These moments were mostly at bedtime when I was standing over his bed, and I more or less had his full attention face to face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Small children are more or less in &amp;quot;learning mode&amp;quot; the entire time, but they tend to learn best when they take interest themselves, and not when we want to teach them a special thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing I noticed with my son at bedtime, was that after we left him in his bed, we  sometimes heard him rehearsing words to himself that he had heard recently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-08-28T12:07:59.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8763" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8769" CreationDate="2013-08-28T14:35:47.723" Score="6" ViewCount="81653" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 9 month old who woke up at 4:30 AM, hiccuped, then vomited.  The vomit was breastmilk white, with some remnants of solids from dinner the previous evening.  She is breastfed with the introduction of solids with each meal.  She did not have anything new to eat the evening before.  As is typical for her, she woke around 2:30 AM for a breastmilk feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The weird part is that there seems to be nothing strange or different about her aside from that episode of vomiting.  She has never vomited or even spit up in her life up till now.  Temperature feels normal, and she is acting her normal happy self, and was her normal happy self before bedtime the night before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the question: What could be the causes of vomiting in an otherwise normally acting pre-toddler? Is there anything to look out for that may help to determine if she is coming down with something?  I'm not very concerned at all - just curious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4725" LastEditorUserId="4725" LastEditDate="2013-08-28T19:59:40.233" LastActivityDate="2016-06-30T15:58:20.577" Title="9 Month old vomiting for the first time when waking up in morning then acts normal" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8766" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-28T17:57:10.953" Score="2" ViewCount="183" Body="&lt;p&gt;Finding a nanny is hard enough. There are sites like Craiglist, Care, etc. Where does one go to find other parents in a region who might be interested in a nanny share?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4717" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-03T12:40:17.440" LastActivityDate="2019-03-03T12:40:17.440" Title="Where is the best place to find another family for a nanny share?" Tags="|babysitting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3339" CreationDate="2013-08-28T18:07:45.710" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We also have a 18 month old daughter and we are in same phase.&#xA;We usually try to teach her daily use words like water, food, bath, go out, come in etc in our native language and she is picking these vocab easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially you have to put some extra effort as your baby can messup the meanings of different words but it is natural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we are also trying to teach her different fruit names with the help of real fruit and books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regards&#xA;Sandeep (source via @ &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.menmomhealth.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;menmomhealth&lt;/a&gt; )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4727" LastActivityDate="2013-08-28T18:07:45.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8763" CreationDate="2013-08-28T18:42:54.383" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the first occurrence?  Might be that she got some air down under the 2:30 feeding and when you got her up, it disturbed that bubble enough to make her spit up a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure after the feeding, even if she's out cold, to get as many burps out as you can.  Air bubbles are sneaky.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-08-28T18:42:54.383" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8763" CreationDate="2013-08-28T23:45:31.503" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter did this once at about 5 months. It was concurrent with some extra runny stools. I didn't think it was serious enough to take her to the pediatrician since it only happened once, but I did think it was a good excuse to call the nurse hotline through my insurance. What the phone nurse told me was that she probably had a small virus but nothing serious and that we could wait it out unless it got worse. Baby Center has a good list of reasons to be concerned with vomitting &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_vomiting_9955.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. They include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Call 911 immediately if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Your baby's having trouble breathing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He shows signs of severe dehydration, like sunken eyes, cold, splotchy hands and feet, excessive sleepiness or fussiness, or sunken fontanels (the soft spots on his head)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Take your baby to the emergency room if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He seems in severe pain. Your baby obviously can't explain what's going on, but you know him best and can probably tell when he's in considerable pain. He could have a blockage in his bowel or some other problem that needs immediate attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;His vomit contains bile (a green substance) or blood that resembles dark coffee grounds. The doctor will probably want to see a sample of the vomit if it contains blood or bile, so as distasteful as it is, you should try to save some in a plastic baggie. Green bile can indicate that the intestines are blocked, a condition that needs immediate attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He has a swollen, tender abdomen. This could indicate a buildup of fluid or gas, a blocked intestine, a hernia, or some other digestive tract problem. Blockages are uncommon but serious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He vomits more than once after suffering a head injury, which may indicate a concussion. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Call your baby's doctor if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Your baby's been vomiting for more than 24 hours. For some illnesses, this is perfectly normal, but check with the doctor to be sure.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He shows signs of becoming dehydrated. These can include decreased urination (more than six to eight hours without a wet diaper), dry lips and mouth, crying without tears if he's more than a couple weeks old (it takes two to three weeks for a baby to shed his first tears), lethargy, and dark yellow urine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The vomit contains blood. A little blood in the vomit is usually nothing to worry about, as the force of vomiting can cause tiny tears in the blood vessels lining the esophagus. Your baby's vomit may also be tinged with red if he's swallowed blood from a cut in his mouth or a nosebleed within the last six hours. But call the doctor if your baby continues to have blood in his vomit or the amount increases. As mentioned above, if the blood resembles dark coffee grounds, go to the emergency room right away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He has violent, persistent vomiting within half an hour of eating. This may be a sign of pyloric stenosis (see below). Contact the doctor as soon as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You notice a yellowing of your baby's skin or the whites of his eyes, which is a sign of jaundice. Jaundice accompanied by pain in the upper right side of the abdomen (which, of course, your baby won't be able to describe for you) may signal hepatitis.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Call a poison control center if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You suspect your baby has swallowed something poisonous. Call the American Association of Poison Control Center's national emergency hot line at (800) 222-1222 or your local poison control center immediately. If you can identify what he's swallowed — for example, you find an empty medicine bottle — tell the medical experts what it is and they'll give you exact instructions for taking care of your baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get more about the reasons for vomitting at the link provided if you're interested, but it sounds from your description like your child might be fighting off a minor infection and you just need to keep an eye out. However if you have any concerns please contact a medical professional for advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-08-28T23:45:31.503" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8491" CreationDate="2013-08-29T01:51:15.310" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say he is wanting the attention of his parents because maybe little sister is getting attention/ has gotten attention previously for singing, etc. any attention, even negative attention is coveted by children. My nephew did things like this because his little sister was being given lots of attention and he wanted a part of the action too, even though he didn't know how to go about it. &#xA;Hope this helps. CM&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4599" LastActivityDate="2013-08-29T01:51:15.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8763" CreationDate="2013-08-29T09:11:07.120" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If this is that you have recently started to introduce solids, it might be a reflex reaction  triggered by the hiccup. The stomach is not very used to get anything other than milk or water. &#xA; I would not be too concerned if there are no other symptoms or it does not happen again shortly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this happens several times, you might want to call your physician about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastEditorUserId="1686" LastEditDate="2013-08-29T09:25:09.163" LastActivityDate="2013-08-29T09:25:09.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8766" CreationDate="2013-08-29T11:26:36.730" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only way we've ever found things like that, for babysitting/carpooling/nanny shares, is in our organic network.  Check with your neighbors (if you have a bunch of people around you who have older kids, or grandkids, they might know someone who knows someone...). Talk to people you socialize with or work with.  Have your friends check with THEIR friends. Post a few things on Facebook.  If you participate in a religious community, ask around there.  It obviously depends on where you live and the population density, but I can guarantee you're not the parents who'd be interested in something like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-08-29T11:26:36.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8766" CreationDate="2013-08-29T12:41:07.837" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our area there would be a few options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Neighborhood listservs&lt;/strong&gt;: many of the local neighborhoods have listservs, and even if yours doesn't you could see if nearby neighborhoods do and if you could get a post there.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Local message board&lt;/strong&gt;: we have a fairly active nanny section of a local message board and there is a section there for nanny shares.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Word of mouth&lt;/strong&gt;: as stated above, get the word out to all of your friends to check with their friends, ask around at your religious community and others of the same religion/denomination in your area, post on social networks to your friends, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask the nanny&lt;/strong&gt;: maybe someone else has contacted your nanny candidate who she thinks would be a good match.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-08-29T12:41:07.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8774" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-29T18:22:19.180" Score="7" ViewCount="7060" Body="&lt;p&gt;I seem to have the opposite problem to what everyone else has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kid sleeps well. He stays in bed well.. too well. In the morning he can hear activity and everyone talking yet he will not get out of bed himself until he hears his name called. Instead he will stay rooted to his bed and moan. If he needs the toilet he will start shouting &quot;I need a wee&quot; yet will not get up without being called.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep reassuring him that it is fine to get out of bed. I understand why he may not want to get out bed if it is dark or quiet but in the mornings when there is light and activity it would be nice for him to be a bit emboldened and come and say hello.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: when we call him he gets out of bed, opens the door himself and comes and find us. Why doesn't he do it without the call?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone come across this? Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4734" LastEditorUserId="4740" LastEditDate="2013-08-31T17:42:16.293" LastActivityDate="2016-05-27T00:10:48.523" Title="3 year old won't get out of bed without assistance?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedroom|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8447" CreationDate="2013-08-30T05:35:38.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're really doing the right thing to ask people for help, that's really responsible of you :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you write, I'm getting the impression that you are beating and punishing your child or have done that fairly much in the past. I'm thinking, no wonder he has become the way he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually the behavior of beating ones children is inherited from parent to child, so I would guess that you yourself was sometimes being beaten by your parents and that you have bad/sad memories of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest that you read a book that's entitled &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/?q=reinventing%20your%20life#q=reinventing%20your%20life&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Reinventing your life&quot;&lt;/a&gt;. In that book, there are chapters entitled &lt;em&gt;&quot;The Mistrust and Abuse Lifetrap&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;&quot;I'm Worthless: The Defectiveness Lifetrap&quot;&lt;/em&gt; that might help you understand what's going on with you yourself. And there are many other chapters too, which might help you with &lt;em&gt;your own&lt;/em&gt; life. And when eventually you understand yourself, it'll be a lot easier for you to help your child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One thing that I think might help you to &lt;em&gt;control your own temper&lt;/em&gt; and feelings, is if you yourself started practicing &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_%28psychology%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;mindfulness&lt;/a&gt;, a kind of meditation. Practicing only a few minutes (perhaps 5 minute) each day does have some effects.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If possible I think you should consider getting professional help (from a psychiatrist?) with controlling &lt;em&gt;your own&lt;/em&gt; temper and actions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Personally I have had help from mindfulness and the above-mentioned book, but this was related to completely different things.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you both the very best of luck, and&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Kind regards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4735" LastEditorUserId="4735" LastEditDate="2013-08-30T05:43:13.467" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T05:43:13.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8776" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8779" CreationDate="2013-08-30T07:36:54.413" Score="14" ViewCount="2590" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid will soon grow up to the age when she'll need to be disciplined. &#xA;My husband and I are NOT on the same page regarding disciplining the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think if the kid cries because one parent has refused to give into her demands and decided to time out her, the other parent should not intervene and console the child since that'll give the child a message that mama is bad and daddy is nice rather than letting her understand the problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband thinks if daddy doesn't intervene to console the child when she cries (w.r.t above mentioned situation), the child will think that both parents are on each other's side and no one loves her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know whose opinion is correct.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I also don't know how to deal with child if both the parents are not on the same page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="4740" LastEditDate="2013-09-01T21:12:17.553" LastActivityDate="2013-09-01T21:12:17.553" Title="How to deal with the child when both the parents are not on the same page?" Tags="|discipline|conflict|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8776" CreationDate="2013-08-30T10:19:24.793" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;To get discipline you have to be on the same page, and the problem is even not &quot;the nice and the bad&quot;, but she will acting you as she want, and this is the real problem. To make discipline, the parents must drive the situation, not the child.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't want to tell you what to do in your home, and how to react to child's cry, but one thing I'm sure, is to come to agreement between parents about the way they are disciplining their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4628" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T10:19:24.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8776" CreationDate="2013-08-30T10:32:21.550" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;For discipline of any sort to be effective you really, really need it to be consistent, and that means both parents discussing and agreeing and compromising where necessary. You're certainly doing the right things by thinking about it now and talking about it before it becomes an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even after discussing and agreeing and compromising, in the heat of a particular moment you may find one of you disagreeing with how the other is handling it. Discuss this fact as well and if possible, agree that in that situation neither of you will contradict the other in front of the child, but will wait and discuss later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the specific case of not giving in to demands / putting the child in timeout, you could agree with your husband that whichever of you is dealing with the issue will still reassure the child that you love her, but that you can't allow the particular behaviour and that is why you are imposing the time out. (When my son got old enough to understand, I even said things like &quot;I do love you, but I wouldn't be a very good Mummy if I let you do [whatever], and because I love you I do want to be a good Mummy!&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could read up on &quot;kind and firm parenting&quot; or &quot;positive discipline&quot; as I think that parenting style sounds like it might fit both of your mindsets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T10:32:21.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8780" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8787" CreationDate="2013-08-30T10:50:24.683" Score="7" ViewCount="3325" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two year old daughter has tiny insects in her hair, and now her mom is crying. I decided to write this story here for your solutions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, after her bath, her mother saw what we believe to be lice on her head.  Amidst her hair her mom found tiny insects that we suspect are &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pediculus_humanus&quot;&gt;Pediculus&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3643" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T14:00:21.920" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T14:00:21.920" Title="My toddler has dandruff in her hair, and we've found tiny insects on her scalp" Tags="|toddler|sickness|hair|lice|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8781" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-08-30T11:25:30.897" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-08-30T11:25:30.897" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T11:25:30.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8782" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-08-30T11:25:30.897" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-08-30T11:25:30.897" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T11:25:30.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8664" CreationDate="2013-08-30T11:52:42.063" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on my comment on Beofett's post, some would say &quot;well, look at you just defending porn.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yeah? So?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Porn -- like sex, drugs, and rock n roll -- is a subject to be discussed with your kids. It's not to be taken lightly or assumed that it'll take care of itself in due course... that's honestly how babies get made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up in suburbia and started sneaking my dads porn at like 10 or 11. From mags to film (yes I'm that old) to vids. And I'm nowhere near the basket case that these studies make out. I have a great fambly, my kids love me, even the step, and I'm generally thought of as a swell guy in my neighborhood. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;sub&gt;(Side note, I asked my 10 yr old y'day &quot;have you ever thought about running away?&quot; He looked at me like I was crazy and said &quot;why would you ask me that? do you WANT me to run away?&quot; This is the house I live in.)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lets consider some reality. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3769/is-tv-harmful-to-my-infants-development/3917#3917&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In another post here about television,&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; I said...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I always find the topic of children vs TV as an odd dichotomy. It's like everyone watches tv but nobody wants their kids to watch tv.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact is that the most profitable sites on the web are porn. Cam, streaming, download, you name it. I read somewhere that 100m Americans 'consume' some kind of porn on a daily basis. I'll bet that there are regular users of this forum that watch porn regularly. Statistically, this is truth. Join the club.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The numbers for the industry are so vast, so mind bogglingly huge, that I find it extremely difficult to believe that &quot;it's harmful&quot; is even vaguely a true statement. So many people partake on a daily basis without giving any indication to the people around them, because they are normal, law-abiding citizens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So let me rephrase the question a couple different ways...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can porn be harmful at all to a child? Yes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can porn be harmful at all to an adult? Yes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wait a sec. . . Let's be specific.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will viewing porn as a child cause the adult person to inflict sexually related abuses? No.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will viewing porn as an adult cause the adult to inflict sexually related abuses on others? No.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will the subject (that watched porn as a child or that regularly watches porn as an adult) have a statistical propensity to inflicting sexually related abuses? Unknown.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Re point 3: I'm referring to the lack of specific statistics showing that a child subjected to porn only (not coupled with abuses or neglect) lead to that person being a sexually abusive adult.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said in the comment, causation vs correlation. An adult that sexually abuses children may very well have seen some amount of porn before they were of an age to handle it. I'd lay money that 99% of it was in an atmosphere of abuse or neglect; a mere factor in an atmosphere that, on the whole, was responsible for who they are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I have statistics to back this up? No. The only thing I have is reality. Reality says that 200m people watch television for more than 2 hours a day, and 100m people watch at least some porn each day... And there aren't 200m idiots running around with their thumbs in their butts, or 100m people playing grabass in the workplace or hitting on 8 yr old girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;No, of course not, but sexual abuses happen &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; too often.&quot; Again, statistics. 0.1% of 100m is 100 thousand. When you have 100m people doing ANYTHING, even the most remote statistic is going to be a huge number. To say that it's a direct cause is at best inaccurate and at worst irresponsible when it's near impossible to carve out what causes what in a persons behaviour. Lets face it: people are people, and some people are just morons. These particular morons just happen to watch porn like 100m other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;To answer directly the question of &quot;What harm is porn&quot;&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I say that the harm isn't the porn... &lt;em&gt;I say that the harm is in not discussing it and moderating it with your kids.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; At certain young ages, it warrants blocking. As they get older you can either give them a mental foundation to deal with it under your guardian's eye,  &lt;strong&gt;O R&lt;/strong&gt;  you can pretend that it's not something they're into and continue to block it till they go to college... which is basically you throwing caution to the wind because as a teenager they will experiment and fool around at their [opposite sex] friend's house and either wind up needing antibiotics or making you a grandparent before you turn 40.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-10-07T19:37:56.360" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8776" CreationDate="2013-08-30T12:12:21.990" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're thinking too hard. In my experience, your post is about corner cases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lets talk about this: Do you agree on...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Acts by the child that deserve punishment?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Methods of punishment?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the Bread n Butter right there... or is it Meat n Potato(e)s? If you're on the same page right there, then that's 99% of the battle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now for some reality: Your kid isn't going to whine &quot;You don't love me!&quot; and hate you till they move out because you stuck their nose in the corner that one time. They will mess up, you'll punish them, the world will continue to spin and you'll all get over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last thing... I don't usually make such absolute statements but I will here: &lt;em&gt;DO NOT PARENT BASED ON FEAR.&lt;/em&gt; Don't place parameters on yourself as a parent because you're afraid of what might happen or that you're afraid you're doing it wrong. News flash: every parent &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt; has gotten it wrong at some point. You won't be the first. Just do what you think is best and be prepared to reverse if the situation warrants it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I never console them when they're crying because they don't like the punishment I gave them and I'm always very clear, before punishment, as to why they're being punished. Then, after the punishment, I recommend a follow-up talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Can you tell me why I sent you to your room?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then a brief discussion about the wrong behaviour and the expected behaviour. It cements the lesson. I usually end my follow-ups with a hug.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T12:12:21.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8774" CreationDate="2013-08-30T12:22:20.697" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When we call him he gets out of bed, opens the door himself and comes and find us. Why doesn't he do it without the call?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Has anyone come across this? Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes. The answer is that your child is 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lets reinforce this a bit. Here, your mileage may vary because I'm going by my memory of my own kids and NOT some established parameter for a 'normal' child (newsflash: it doesn't exist). Here's some of the things he can probably do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;count to 20&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;spread jelly on bread.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;change the channel on the remote (maybe even to a specific channel)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get you a coke from the cabinet&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;beat the hell out of the dog (petting too hard)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's things he probably CAN'T do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;spell his name&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;spread peanut butter without ripping the bread.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;find espn&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get you a coke &lt;em&gt;from the fridge&lt;/em&gt; (can't open it gracefully)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;walk the dog&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Duh. Right? I mean we know this. But sometimes we forget they're 3. I have to look at my kids (8 - 22) and remind myself that my 8 yo shouldn't be running around the neighborhood at 10pm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will come in time. Just keep hollering at him, and work on convincing him, day after day, that he's capable of getting up and coming to you on his own. Next thing you know you'll be happily making jello shots and &quot;OH LOOK AT THE BIG BOY GETTIN OUT OF BED. Would you like some jello?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IT'S A JOKE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T12:22:20.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8491" CreationDate="2013-08-30T12:37:41.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's pretending not to understand. As a 6 yr old, he is absolutely capable of knowing exactly what he's doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Solution: Be Frank.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dude, stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But she was singing why can't I sing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because she was singing it first and when you &lt;strong&gt;copy her&lt;/strong&gt; it annoys everyone. Please stop copying your syster. It makes her holler and I don't want to hear it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Emphasis intended.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could then illustrate the point by copying him, perhaps even turn it into a snide mimic. He may laugh at first but within seconds it'll begin to be frustrating to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See? You don't like it, I don't like it, she doesn't like it. Please stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T12:37:41.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8780" CreationDate="2013-08-30T13:00:04.130" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several ways you can tackle this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are over-the-counter treatments for head lice that you can get at most local pharmacies and grocery stores.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can also get a lice comb and pick out the nits and eggs by hand.  However, you have to be VERY thorough; one missed egg can mean an re-infestation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Depending on where you're located, there are businesses that specialize in lice eradication (my niece just went to one yesterday).  The one she went to uses a heat treatment to dry out and kill the eggs and nits, and then combs out the detritus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most folks who've dealt with lice will advise shaving the child's head.  This obviously depends on the child and your preferences.  It works because lice need the hair to lay eggs and hang onto the hairs; they slide around on smoother surfaces.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you don't want to shave the hair, one home remedy is to slather the hair in olive oil at night, cover the head with a shower cap, and smother the little punks.  This can take as long as 2 weeks for full effectiveness.  You'll also need to comb the hair thoroughly with a lice comb each morning, before washing out the olive oil.  (You can also use a thick conditioner or mayonnaise in place of the olive oil.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lice cannot survive more than 48 hours without a human host, so you'll need to tackle all bedding and toys as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wash everything that can be washed, that the child has come into contact with in the last 48 hours, in hot water and then dry on high in the dryer for 30-40 minutes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bag up all stuffed animals, toys, whatnot in plastic garbage bags and set aside for 48-72 hours.  Once the time is up, clean everything thoroughly as best you can.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clean all furniture that cannot be washed with either a product meant for eradicating lice from furniture or vacuum thoroughly and mist with a mixture of tea tree oil and water (make sure it won't damage the furniture first).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good thing is, you can eliminate these suckers.  The bad thing is, you have to be very thorough 'cause they're sneaky little buggers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whichever treatment method you use, make sure you re-check every few days for a few weeks, until you're sure the lice are gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they're gone, you can help convince them to stay away.  Take a clean mister bottle, fill with water and add a small amount of tea tree oil.  Shake to mix and spray on your daughter's head each morning.  The scent is repellent to lice and they won't move from another child to her head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And remember: lice are not an indication of a lack of cleanliness or personal hygiene.  Lice pass around small children very easily, because kids share personal items and are often in close contact with one another.  They're just a pest we have to deal with, since we are social creatures that are yummy to these parasites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T13:00:04.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8774" CreationDate="2013-08-30T15:32:15.620" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Despite joking, @monsto has a point - children are children, and their motivation may be very strange to us...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I would guess that your child is staying in bed because he thinks that is what you want him to do. Perhaps he has over-interpreted instructions that he should go to bed, or does he have a sibling who was told off for getting up early, or perhaps he hurt himself once when he got up without being told to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it could be any one of a number of things. The important point is to now focus on positive reinforcement if you want him to get up - but be aware that you may regret this decision. Many parents wish their children would stay in bed until called :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a conversation with him to discuss when would be good to get up and when wouldn't. Encourage him to go to the bathroom by himself when he needs to. Be very positive when he does the right thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But above all, don't worry about it - these sort of phases pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-08-30T15:32:15.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8789" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-08-30T19:45:11.477" Score="2" ViewCount="7033" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old grandson changes his clothes every ten minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He even puts his baby sister's dresses and t-shirts and socks on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He came down with five t-shirts on yesterday and even chases his friends around until they give him their t-shirts/jumpers. Its all the time; every ten minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal or could he be autistic or something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4738" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-08-30T20:00:51.930" LastActivityDate="2022-02-13T14:45:57.733" Title="Is it normal for a 3 year old to change their clothes every 10 minutes all day long?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|clothes|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8789" CreationDate="2013-08-31T09:56:58.097" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;No it isn't normal, in the sense that most kids don't do that. However, just because a child does something that isn't normal, it doesn't immediately mean they are autistic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps he likes the feel of clothes moving on his skin?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say what you or the parents are doing to stop him doing this? If you are not doing anything, why should he stop? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter who is now 8 will occasionally get changed 3 or 4 times in a day. We tell her not to, because the clothes end up messy / will need washing or ironing. It sounds to me that your grandson is treating clothes as toys. Perhaps he just needs to be gently told that this isn't the case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3954" LastActivityDate="2013-08-31T09:56:58.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8792" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-02T23:31:45.330" Score="23" ViewCount="1449" Body="&lt;p&gt;While most of my adult life I've been trying to accommodate myself as both an agnostic and a non-theistic Catholic Christian, recent events had lead me to reject being a Christian and embracing my disbelief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is a devoted Catholic, and I had willingly accepted my children (8 and 5.5) to attend a confessional Catholic school.  I'm confident that this school promotes some degree of skepticism and critical thinking (even if not applied to religion), and I still have some positive image on religion and its values.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some time ago, I would not have worried about supporting my children in their religious studies, or joining them in praying, but I now feel hypocritical in doing so, and I expect them they will soon ask why I am not joining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not my aim to raise atheistic children.  While I would like them to be skeptic and embrace critical thinking, and I'd probably regret if they chose to embrace young-earth creationism or similar fundamental views, that should be their call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like them to have a positive view on different religions and on irreligiousity.  That they will learn that I am an atheist and why I am agnostic and that they can respect that.  But also I don't want to jeopardize their success at the school my wife and I choose for them, v.g. this year my oldest kid will be prepared to take his first communion, and that is an obligation at his school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas on how to handle this situation from a parenting point of view?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4747" LastEditorUserId="4742" LastEditDate="2013-09-03T13:04:34.510" LastActivityDate="2015-01-30T22:05:15.043" Title="Introducing my children into my disbelief in a Christian environment" Tags="|education|religion|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8793" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-03T06:03:51.477" Score="3" ViewCount="3164" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-month-old son will take 2 naps a day, but when it comes to be around 10 or 11 o'clock he is wide awake. He usually doesn't go to sleep until 2 in the morning and wakes up 3 to 4 times a night. I have tried the cereal in the bottle and all of the suggestions people have told me to. Can I please get some help? Is there anything I can do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4748" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-31T13:13:07.400" LastActivityDate="2018-08-31T13:13:07.400" Title="My 6-month-old falls asleep late and wakes up several times. How to make him sleep through the night?" Tags="|infant|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8780" CreationDate="2013-09-03T06:14:30.263" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;T-gel shampoo works really good. Does not smell good but works awesome.  You can soak the dry hair for 20 to 30 minutes then wash it out. Then go through and pick all the dead out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4748" LastActivityDate="2013-09-03T06:14:30.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8795" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8797" CreationDate="2013-09-03T08:37:16.367" Score="4" ViewCount="9665" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, we have been noticing a wool like stuff in between the finger gaps of our newborn (2.5 months age) for past many days. We clean it daily and it keeps on reappearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doctor told us not to worry since it is normal for a newborn to secrete this stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the technical term for this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-11T21:31:07.300" LastActivityDate="2015-10-11T21:31:07.300" Title="What is the term for the wool like stuff that secretes between the newborn's fingers?" Tags="|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8793" CreationDate="2013-09-03T10:38:16.817" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;according to my experience/researches on this same matter, i have come to know that 6 month is starting age for many kids to start having a good night sleep of 4-6 hours together, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but it's not true/must for all kids of this age. time varies from kid to kid, and 6 month is just starting time for this to happen. &#xA;i would say wait 1 month or so, and still if nothing seems to be changing in sleeping duration, then ask kid's doctor. &#xA;i tried many suggestions to get my 6 month sleep through night at least wished he sleeps for 4 hours straight, but never happened until he reached 8 months. now he sleeps through night waking up 1-2 times. but yes he still sleeps not before 12-1AM in night, till then he plays with whole lot of energy, but can't help that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;all you can do is make sure you don't make his near sleep time so active from your end, &#xA;be passive form your end when you feel it's time your kid gets to sleep, and eventually will start getting bore and will sleep early. also make sure to feed right amount(filling your baby right), when your kid seems nearing to sleep. &#xA;also make sure at night your kid is covered just right so that neither feels too cold/hot which further makes them sleep badly. &#xA;I wish and hope your baby starts sleeping more through night soon...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4729" LastEditorUserId="4729" LastEditDate="2013-09-06T06:53:40.613" LastActivityDate="2013-09-06T06:53:40.613" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8795" CreationDate="2013-09-03T12:42:46.960" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not secreted by the baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's just clothes fluff / lint getting caught between their fingers (their fingers being quite sticky with normal skin secretions), and they're not using their hands or washing them like we do which would normally wipe the clothing fluff off with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See eg &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://baby.about.com/od/Newborn-Hands-And-Feet/tp/Newborn-Fingers-And-Toes.htm&quot;&gt;http://baby.about.com/od/Newborn-Hands-And-Feet/tp/Newborn-Fingers-And-Toes.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/why-are-infant-hands-lint-traps/&quot;&gt;http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/why-are-infant-hands-lint-traps/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastEditorUserId="3279" LastEditDate="2013-09-03T17:00:37.780" LastActivityDate="2013-09-03T17:00:37.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8789" CreationDate="2013-09-03T15:11:05.870" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids can have amusing habits and behaviours, especially when learning and exploring something new. As your grandson is 3, I imagine that he has only recently been able to change his clothing fully unassisted, so it could just be the novelty of having a new outfit. In all likelihood it will pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1833" LastActivityDate="2013-09-03T15:11:05.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8792" CreationDate="2013-09-03T15:43:12.710" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your children have specific questions about why you're not participating in certain religious activities, I would answer them honestly without attacking the subject. You could say you have questions about X that you haven't found answers to and because of that, you cannot participate without feeling hypocritical, or that you feel it's disrespectful to participate in something you have questions about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your children are kind of young to really understand if this is the only subject you're skeptical of. Are you a skeptic about the world in general, or just religion? Do you listen to resources like podcasts from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theskepticsguide.org/&quot;&gt;SGU&lt;/a&gt;? Letting the children in on why you think the way you do...the reasoning behind your conclusions (or ongoing questions)...may plant the seeds of critical thinking that will help them better understand what your thought processes are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that you may never completely escape the friction of religion and non-religion in a household if your wife is devoted to Catholicism. Any attempt to introduce your way of thinking may well result in resentment that you're undermining their religious studies. Depending on attitudes of friends and family, you may end up creating a number of problems. When it comes to religious topics I'd probably wait until the children broach the subject with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be better to instead teach them to view the world with a skeptical eye. Lead by example...show tolerance towards others and other viewpoints. Ask the children what they think of appropriate news stories, then ask why they think that way. Challenge their thinking. Ask questions that demonstrate if they understand why the religion classes teach what they're teaching, and what they think of it. Learn about the history of science and the scientific method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much of the harm from religions (or any dogma) comes from the encouragement that &quot;We have the answer, so you shouldn't question the idea.&quot; Instilling the use of reason and logic about a wide range of subjects usually spills over into a broad range of topics in life. If the children know it's okay to question ideas and that a parent will tolerate their questioning and accept their conclusions, even if they're contrary to the parent's belief, you may get positive results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4750" LastActivityDate="2013-09-03T15:43:12.710" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8792" CreationDate="2013-09-03T16:40:45.103" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what strategy for explanation you choose, you and your partner should be clear about your stance and what you will present to the kids.  A loving, supportive, environment will take care of the rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they kids don't ask questions, it's not a big deal.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3279" LastActivityDate="2013-09-03T16:40:45.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3446" CreationDate="2013-09-03T16:44:50.057" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find I yawn more when my posture is slouched, with restricts how easily I can inhale.  This reduces the oxygen in my blood and causes my body for force yawns in order to get more air.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3279" LastActivityDate="2013-09-03T16:44:50.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2013-09-03T16:52:40.147" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a stepdad of a 21mo I've been thinking about this one. I figure if/when he throws this attack at me my reaction ought to be apathetic. Lennart's answer is right, its just a last-ditch attack that doesn't actually mean anything. So I'd try to let it roll off (of course I'm sure its easier said than done).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4751" LastActivityDate="2013-09-03T16:52:40.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8793" CreationDate="2013-09-03T23:04:31.670" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try slowly move his day sleep earlier, engage him more, so it will get more tired. Cereal before night sleep will help but not for entire night. Even at 6 months it can't refrain from food for 10 hours. So he will wake up. If he was very tired and fully fed he can sleep for 6 hours along, then wake up for feed and sleep again for 4-5 hours.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Again, in the main, you should move his sleep time by getting him tired a little bit earlier, so in few weeks you will get it to the schedule you want.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;One more thing is that every baby have the time that he growing much, and sure it needs more food then and the mother don't have enough milk yet, so check out that he really get enough milk (as it's yet his main food). My wife was feeding the baby every hour before the night sleep and when it wakes up at morning, because the baby can't eat much in one time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4628" LastActivityDate="2013-09-03T23:04:31.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8804" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8806" CreationDate="2013-09-04T00:06:55.337" Score="7" ViewCount="1310" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have all been there, &quot;Critical Thinking: Solve why blah blah blah&quot; in our elementary and high school assignments.  We've all hated them to death, but I think sometimes we see the value in these things a little bit later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today I'm a software developer and inventor.  I make things and solve problems for a living and I look back regretfully that I did not understand the true nature of the questions earlier in life that faced me in school.  I had this realization the other day while helping my 8th grade son with his algebra questions.  I was able to see the context of this now and explain to him why these questions are important, even though the school, teachers and government miss the boat.  I explained to him that the TEST MAKERS' goals are to help people learn and to evaluate how well we can solve logic problems that require us to think freely and figure out how to solve problems out of the box.  Like I said, this is all lost in translation with all of the government stipulations, etc…&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, I got to thinking that I'd really like to help my children learn how to think properly about problems.  In this case I instructed my son to &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; draw a picture first of any problem he faces and to delineate the things that he knows about the problem or situation.  We are visual creatures and we have to have pictures, not just text, to help us visualize things.  With this ability, I explained, he will be able to solve &lt;strong&gt;any&lt;/strong&gt; problem that he faces, at least in academia and in the intellectual worker world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that experience, though, I felt the need to find more challenges or puzzles for him and my other children to solve.  Things that will help in both cognitive and common sense development hopefully.  The problem I'm having is that I'm not really readily finding any resources that will help in this venture.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is anyone familiar with some not-too-boring and contrived exercises or such that could be useful in helping children by giving them practice at solving problems in a wide range of scenarios both analytically and perhaps socially?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that this might be a steep order, but I the epiphany that I had really has me feeling an acute need for helping them in this regard so that it doesn't take them another 10-20 years to start seeing things in context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4380" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-09-05T16:30:08.860" LastActivityDate="2013-09-05T16:30:08.860" Title="Teaching logic and problem solving to children?" Tags="|education|learning|homeschooling|gifted|problem-solving-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8804" CreationDate="2013-09-04T09:00:57.600" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I sense a bit of overreaction here, and unbalanced behavior.&#xA;Please read to the end, and then decide what you will do with the information in this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kid is probably a left or a right brainer (as 99% of the people are). Either his brain prefers to think logically, or his brain prefers to experience emotion and he behaves accordingly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is more of the emotional side, you might bring him a bit more in balance by stimulating his analytical thinking. But that would require your emotional feedback. You will have to give him the feeling that what you are doing helps him to become more balanced. Otherwise he feels like what you are trying to teach him is less important than what he prefers: emotion. And that might even make him distant more from your perspective. Which is totally the opposite of your goal: prepare your children to function autonomously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he prefers logic more (like you do, so it seems), you are over stimulating him, bringing him further away from balance. Only a balanced mind gives best direction to its own life by setting the right goals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would strongly suggest you start 'listening' to your own feelings more, and become more balanced yourself. This balance is passed on to your children naturally. The opposite is true as well, if you are out of balance, you pass that on to your children as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT 2:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;An example of how to listen to your emotion could be like this:&#xA;How do I feel about all this, putting a topic on the net, asking for help to stimulate the logical problem solving of my kid? I would say that you feel some sort of stress, based on what you say: &quot; really has me feeling an acute need for helping them in this regard.&quot;&#xA;Now if it feels like stress, why doing it? Now I am not asking for an answer that you can give within the blink of an eye. What is your profound motivation? I would say its &lt;strong&gt;regret&lt;/strong&gt;: &quot;I look back regretfully that I did not understand&quot;. And thats a negative emotion. Regret isn't constructive. Regret can make you grind to a stop (like in making progress in life). Now it probably isn't that much of a deal for you, it doesn't takes over your life. Now compare regret to motivation that comes from the emotion of love. You see the difference? So do you want to give your children direction based on regret?&#xA;&lt;em&gt;End of edit 2&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I am correct, and you prefer logic more (you are a programmer so you don't deal much with emotion in your profession), you probably think: &quot;What the &lt;em&gt;*&lt;/em&gt;* is this for an answer, this is not what I am looking for&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your logical side of the brain has to accept that the emotional side is worth 50% of the 100% available decision space to give your life direction. If you THINK otherwise (the logical analyses), you shut the door for the input of your own emotion, and even worse, you naturally, by your &lt;strong&gt;unconscious&lt;/strong&gt; behavior, negate the emotional side of your children. Unconsciously, because this can never be a conscious choice of a well willing parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might seem totally exaggerated, and that is exactly the viewpoint of an unbalanced brain. If you do not think this is exaggerated, than you are probably very open minded or you are in balance (enough) already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to view the value of this answer from the two perspectives (logically and emotionally) as an exercise. If you can't, you have, by definition, a profound preference for either one of the perspectives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I like to mention is that I am a professional software developer myself, I have wife and two children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you may think of this answer, I sure wish you the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT 3:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;You have used the phrase &quot;so that it doesn't take them another 10-20 years to start seeing things in context.&quot;. Thats the focus of a mind that is not in the &lt;strong&gt;NOW&lt;/strong&gt;. A balanced mind isn't busy with the past (regret puts your focus in the past), and isn't busy with future problems. A balanced mind experiences the moment of now with joy. Now I can almost be sure that you think &quot;But you will have to look a head to guide things into the right direction&quot;. That is not true. Future problems do not exist, but become problems of the present moment instantly when you start thinking about them. A balanced mind that experiences joy in the moment of now will not run into problems as he makes the right decisions on the moment its necessary.&#xA;&lt;em&gt;End of edit 3&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I know I did not gave you an answer on the question where to find material to educate logic and problem solving to your children. That is, because I think your motivation is 'wrong'. If you would have stated it sort of like this, I would have tried to help:&#xA;My kid tends to get caught up in his feelings, not knowing a way out. His feelings in certain situations aren't what you call 'real' (as defined in reality). For example, when he has a problem, he doesn't know how to solve it. He tries to do other things to make him feel well again, but as long as he can't put it in perspective, he tends to stay stressed. I think he could be helped if he would be able to put his problems in perspective more and work towards a solution by analysis instead. What would be a good training to help him stimulate the logical problem solving more?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4705" LastEditDate="2013-09-04T09:37:26.577" LastActivityDate="2013-09-04T09:37:26.577" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8804" CreationDate="2013-09-04T13:27:40.883" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;We are visual creatures and we have to have pictures, not just text, to help us visualize things.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be a bit careful about that idea.  Not everyone thinks the same way.  In fact, people have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learning_styles&quot;&gt;variety of learning styles&lt;/a&gt;, and most people find that one or two styles of learning may be more effective for them than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to suggest a variety of strategies, such as the drawing strategy you suggested, and let your son decide for himself which of the strategies work best.  He may find that drawing is helpful for some problems, but other strategies might be better for other problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, to address your primary question: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is anyone familiar with some not-too-boring and contrived exercises or such that could be useful in helping children by giving them practice at solving problems in a wide range of scenarios both analytically and perhaps socially?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like what you are looking for are word problems of the type I know as &quot;brain teasers&quot;.  These are generally text-based scenarios, frequently described as real-world problems, that call for analytic thinking that helps teach children to break out of the complacent modes of thought we sometimes wind up in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cases, they provide the bare minimum of information to solve problems through rather complex deductive reasoning.  Other times they provide &quot;red herring&quot; details that seem relevant, but aren't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;There are two barbers in town.  One has a great haircut, and a sparkling clean shop. The other has a bad haircut, and his shop is worn and dirty.  Which barber do you ask to cut your hair?&quot; Answer: the barber with the bad hair cut.  Since you can't cut your own hair, the barber with the bad hair cut must have given the good hair cut to the other barber.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;A boat has a ladder over the side.  At low tide, three rungs of the ladder are submerged in water.  The rungs are evenly spaced twelve inches apart.  As the tide comes in, it causes the water to rise at a rate of 3 inches per hour.  In four hours, how many rungs will be submerged?&quot;  Answer: 3. As the water rises, so does the boat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Because cigars cannot be entirely smoked, a hobo who collects cigar butts can make 1 cigar out of every 5 butts that he finds. Today, he has collected 25 cigar butts.  How many cigars can he smoke?&quot; Answer: 6 (not 5).  He makes 5 from the 25, then smokes them, and gets 5 more butts, allowing him to make a sixth cigar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are just some fairly easy examples that I remembered off the top of my head.  However, there are more involved brain teasers that require careful analysis of all the details.  These can range from complex algebra to deductive logic, and require a variety of analytic strategies to solve them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, I find them to be more fun than the standard problems, and they are varied enough to teach a number of different concepts.  If you search for &quot;brain teasers&quot; online, you should be able to find a lot of options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-09-04T13:27:40.883" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8793" CreationDate="2013-09-04T14:16:44.693" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's normal, lots of children don't sleep through at this age. My daughter still wakes up wide awake in the night time sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest implementing a policy where you don't turn on the lights or take him out of his room in the night time. When he wakes, go in to him, cuddle, sing quietly, be nice, possibly offer a bottle but on no account take him out of his room. Keep it dark, quiet and still.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is to show him that night times are boring, there's nothing going on and nothing to see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over time progress to not getting him out of his cot, so just stroke him and pat his back, but don't get him up. Possibly offer a bottle if you're using them. He might soothe on it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to tell my daughter about all the people who love her, and how they were all asleep, then sing her a nice song about how safe she was in her bed and how she was growing so big in her sleep. Now I can just go in and say the magic word: &quot;snugadeen&quot; (don't ask why but it works) and she does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't personally find that cutting a nap, or keeping her up in the day helped at all. She just got overtired and didn't sleep soundly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes time and patience, but all babies get it in the end. When he's a teenager you'll probably find you have the opposite problem!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2013-09-04T14:16:44.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3286" CreationDate="2013-09-04T17:03:02.047" Score="0" Body="&lt;h1&gt;This is a Natural Learning Process&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, I'd let it be. Learning to type, to a certain degree, is like learning a language, especially at that age. It's bumpy at first, but then the more you practice the more naturally it will come to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you might pick up bad habits on the way, and have an imperfect touch-typing because of it. But for most people this would be good enough. I type pretty fast and never learned to touch-type. I just improved my own typing over-time without thinking about it, and when I hit a brickwall then I started to correct some minor mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Perfection is Not a Goal&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm still not a perfect typist, but I type stuff all day long at a better than average rate and that's more than enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, I really wouldn't worry about it and let them be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Support and Games&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only things I'd recommend to try to gently push in the right direction are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask your children if they want to learn to type faster. If they do, fine: bring out the big guns and help them to actually learn touch-typing. If they don't, it means they're fine as it is and don't want anything to come in the way of their fun/learning. Let it be.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have them play typing games. They can likely play against a computer program, against siblings, or against people online. Or against you, so they can feel the need to compare to your typing. They'll likely want to get better to get better scores, and it will come from that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastActivityDate="2013-09-04T17:03:02.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8741" CreationDate="2013-09-04T17:31:11.377" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very difficult subject...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Tackle the Problem from the Inside&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's the most effective, and the point you have the most impact on. It sounds possible zen and overreaching, but the child need inner-strength, and, above all, inner-peace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's going to be very difficult, but someone would need to help the child to be more passive about the assaults and not show an emotional reaction towards them. Obviously difficult in the general case, and even harder here, I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And at the same time, the child will need to learn to resist them as non-aggressively as possible. It doesn't mean fighting back, it doesn't mean responding in kind, it means making it less easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very hard and sad to say, but it's about making it &lt;strong&gt;less fun&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;more difficult&lt;/strong&gt; for the attackers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Tackle the Externals Factors&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also think that if these things are routine enough and happen within your (or anyone's) sight, it's your responsibility to walk up to these kids and try to talk to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Use the Golden Rule&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned by w00t in his answer, they do it for the sense of belonging to a group, so it's a difficult dynamic to break. But it's quite likely some of these kids have someone in their close or remote family circles that have disabilities and that they wouldn't them to be picked on. They also wouldn't want any of that to happen to these relatives or themselves, disabilities or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get them to imagine what it would be like to live in the other child's shoes, if only for one day, it will it home. It won't be enough to beat group-effect in most cases, sadly, but it's a step in the right direction. Change one at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Go to the Source&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you can't handle other people's kids, and it means there are other people who need to get involved. Their parents, their teachers, or other educators or authoritative figures they look up to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd even recommend to go as far as to talk to educators and collaborate with them to build sessions to raise awareness, if that's what it takes. You will turn some around, and these will then be helpful forces in preventing the more die-hard bullies from keeping at it. Organize a presentation at school on the topic. Invite kids to a home or bring someone with experience to talk about the issue - and make sure the kids actually &lt;strong&gt;talk&lt;/strong&gt; to this person, not the other way around, as they'll be force to create a bond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe screen videos about the impacts of bullying on the life of people with these problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These usually don't let people flat out cold. They may pretend to laugh about it and snicker while in groups, but they'll definitely get something out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Actions have Consequences&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also probably a good thing to make them understand that their actions can have consequences. Not just for the kid, but for themselves, as the child and the parents could press charges, and while it's fair to assume the bullies are juvenile they will still have some degree of obvious discomfort in that process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastActivityDate="2013-09-04T17:31:11.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2013-09-04T17:45:22.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's OK to have a liquor cabinet, but I think it's wrong (or at the ver least unnecessary) to lock it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your children should know what they can't do and why&lt;/strong&gt; (like using your or any liquors for several reasons), but &lt;strong&gt;they should also know that you trust them&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting a simple barrier is enough to make the intention clear. Putting a strong barrier makes them want to break it. &lt;strong&gt;They can't trust you if you don't trust them and take arbitrary decisions.&lt;/strong&gt; You can't expect them to be rational and demand from them that they use critical thinking and reason before taking action if your own resolutins are not based on substantiated and reasoned arguments but are arbitrary rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And in response to someone mentioning it prevents peer pressure in the case of an home-party and their friends wanting to raid their cabinets... &lt;strong&gt;If you can't trust your kids to tell you the truth about who did, then there's a problem somewhere else.&lt;/strong&gt; If they lie to you, it's either because they're scared of disproportionate consequences (because they actually did do it or didn't prevent it), or because they are afraid you won't believe them, or because they're afraid your reaction will be unjust in other ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If by any misfortune that boat has already sailed for your kids anyways, then yeah, you might resort to locking stuff away. But it won't do anything to fix the problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;For the record, maybe I appear quite liberal on this, but underage drinking isn't such a disproportionate issue in my country. The legal age for buying alcohol yourself is 18, though it's very common for kids to consume long before that, in reasonable volumes on exceptional occasions, and in probably fairly excessive volumes as you can imagine when unsupervised. However, we don't have, at least in our area, proven damaging and long-lasting effects. Problems are the exception, not the norm.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2013-09-05T12:39:49.770" LastActivityDate="2013-09-05T12:39:49.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8812" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8814" CreationDate="2013-09-04T18:02:19.080" Score="8" ViewCount="10550" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 3 shortly.  We've introduced him to the potty, and he happily sits on it (he even has a &quot;sittin' on the potty&quot; song he sings)... &lt;strong&gt;with his pants on&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On occasion, he will sit on the potty sans pants and diaper, especially at daycare, and one time his daycare provider even got him to pee in the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recently started wondering if we should transition him to &quot;pull-ups&quot; to facilitate potty training.  However, they're pretty expensive, and I don't want to make the transition if it won't make a positive impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are they worthwhile?  Is there a &quot;right&quot; time to make the transition?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-30T12:26:02.057" LastActivityDate="2017-06-07T13:18:10.710" Title="Are &quot;pull-ups&quot; worthwhile?" Tags="|potty-training|diaper|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8812" CreationDate="2013-09-04T19:08:24.533" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hate to say this (and I SWEAR it's not a pun) but it depends.  For our daughter, pull-ups were more of a hassle than they were worth.  She treated them like a diaper and was not interested in going into big-kid undies until we took them away and replaced them with training panties (the thick kind that can be soiled without causing a level 4 hazmat incident).  At that point, she took things seriously.  We used them at night until she was ready to night-train, to slightly better effect, but still, not a good deal for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, for my nephew, pull-ups were the key.  He was dragging his feet about training but the idea of being in big-boy pull-ups was intriguing, so he took them and then sailed right on to underpants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So are they worthwhile?  Depends on the kid and their motivation to train.  Is there a right time to switch to them (or training pants of any other sort)?  Let your child tell you; you'll know when they have gone from 'not sure if I need to go' to 'I need to go but I'm gonna ride this gravy train as far as I can.'  When they get to the gravy train, time to go for training pants and drop the pull-ups.  (I SWEAR these puns are not intentional!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FWIW, I distinctly remember arguing with my parents around 18 months that I was old enough for big-girl panties.  Mostly what I recall is the vast frustration that they just DIDN'T UNDERSTAND; after all, it was perfectly intelligible toddlerese.  Neither of mine were NEAR ready at that stage.  My son's pushing 30 months and still could care less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-09-04T19:08:24.533" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2013-09-05T07:52:27.457" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to make the assumption that you're a fully functioning adult in a respectful relationship; as such, I'm not going to tell you to get your finances in order or learn to feed yourself. I'm also going to refer to you and your partner as &quot;you&quot;, because this is a team endeavour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hang out with children.  You might want to confirm you really &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; want to have kids - they're super-annoying. After you have kids, you won't look at the nanny accused of shaking her child to death with such judgemental eyes. The government is totally against people putting kids up for adoption and will try to talk you out of it if you decide after the fact that this isn't actually for you; you'll be stuck with kids that aren't like the cute ones on TV. Be aware, children are on their best behaviour around strangers (that's basically anyone who's not their parents).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Babies are photogenic, especially when they start smiling at around four weeks of age.  Get yourself a digital camera and somewhere to store the thousands (no, really!) of photos you'll have by the time they hit their first birthday.  Put in place a backup régime - for example, &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloud_storage&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;to the cloud&lt;/a&gt; - that means after your hard drive crashes the little youngster's 21st birthday isn't missing any periods of their life. Your hard drive will crash.  Get the camera many months before child arrives, and practice lots. Make sure it does indoor non-flash photography well (imagine what flash photography does to a newborn baby).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finish any projects you were hoping to get done in the next five to ten years.  Seriously.  My partner has been working on an 8 inch by 12 inch embroidery for the last eight years. Our ceiling is still not painted.  We've been missing a kitchen cabinet door for the last six years.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Resign yourself to never seeing your friends again, unless they too have kids.  Then you'll see them twice a year, once at your child's birthday party and once at theirs.  Face it: people with kids are boring.  Your friends will never actively seek you out again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy a couple of dozen squares of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloth_diaper#Cloth_diaper&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;cloth nappies (diapers)&lt;/a&gt; in terry toweling or flannelette - in addition to any you're going to use for diapering. Babies are messy, and get worse and worse until they're about three or so.  Having some of these suckers around is great - wipe up the mess and toss in the wash.  You'll be using these for the rest of your life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work up a plan for &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respite_care&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;respite care&lt;/a&gt;. Technically &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babysitting&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;baby-sitting&lt;/a&gt;, the reason you need this is to concentrate on keeping your relationship with your partner functional. Being a single parent is many times harder than a double parent, so you need time away from the unceasing demands of your offspring.  This might take the form of a &quot;date night&quot;, but having just one night where you get to sleep through will make the world of difference to your outlook.  Grandparents are great for this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not so urgent, but check out any &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toy_library&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Toy Libraries&lt;/a&gt; in your vicinity. Kids love new.  They're also flighty, so you can get away with two boxes of toys, rotated: wheel out the old box of toys and hide the current one, and it will be just like Christmas day for the kiddies. Repeat weekly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy an &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infrared_thermometer&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Infrared thermometer&lt;/a&gt;; parents of newborns are perpetually convinced that their child is ill, and being able to provide a temperature history to your medical specialist will make you seem less insane when you claim your child is crying because it's sick.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make up a kit that's always in the car, containing a change of clothes in the child's current size, one or two of the cloth nappies you've bought, a diaper or two, two plastic bags (one for dirty diapers, one for dirty clothes), a thin change mat and a small pack of baby wipes.  This is your emergancy kit.  Your normal baby bag will have all of this stuff; this is for when you forget the baby bag (it will happen), or the baby bag hasn't been reset, or you exhaust the baby bag's resources because you've stayed out to long or there's a case of explosive diarrhea. Our kit was a foot by six inches by an inch or so.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can't &quot;bank sleep&quot;, so please don't try.  But be aware, there's a good chance that you're going to experience &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_debt&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;sleep debt&lt;/a&gt; for a number of &lt;em&gt;years&lt;/em&gt;. The only ways I know of dealing with this is either tag-teaming the child, or having one parent (typically the father) doing every last scrap of non-child-facing work, and additionally picking up some slack in the child-facing work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Join your local &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category%3aBreastfeeding_organizations&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Breastfeeding organisation&lt;/a&gt;. Being able to call someone at 3am who understands cracked nipples is priceless, and you'll be supporting an organisation that advocates for parent's rights.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find someone who's got a child about a year older than yours and is willing to hand-on clothing. Go shopping at your local &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charity_shop&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;op-shop&lt;/a&gt; and lay in a supply of 0000 (good for a week or two) 000 (good for 2-4 weeks) 00 (good for 1-3 months) and perhaps size 0 (good for as much as 6 months) clothing.  You're not going to be able to make it out to buy clothes once baby's born. Children don't need shoes until they're about two.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Residual-current_device&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;safety switch&lt;/a&gt; installed.  Don't bother with those plastic socket-filling doodads. Use &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masking_tape&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;painter's tape&lt;/a&gt; to keep the switches on your power points switched on; discovering your TIVO was off the one night that show's on will drive you bonkers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastActivityDate="2013-09-05T07:52:27.457" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8816" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8827" CreationDate="2013-09-05T08:15:25.267" Score="4" ViewCount="354" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was wondering if there are any strollers for twins that is separable available. It would be nice if we could just latch two strollers together when one person is pushing and separate them out into two when we need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4755" LastActivityDate="2013-09-06T13:51:44.797" Title="Stroller for twins" Tags="|twins|stroller|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2013-09-18T12:18:44.583" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7007" CreationDate="2013-09-05T18:53:26.673" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question has been open for awhile, but I just stumbled upon it, so who knows, your three year old might be over it already and someone else might find it helpful.  I have seen this before in several children, and it could be a coping mechanism to anxiety (that sometimes becomes a reflex and is no longer tied to the original anxiety producing stimulus).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for patterns in the finger sucking behavior.  What time of day is it occurring?  Is the child hungry, angry, scared, etc.?  Is it possible that the child is anxious about an upcoming event in the day (daycare drop off, bedtime, etc.)?  Sometimes it can be difficult to root out the cause, but taking a moment to pick up your child or hug them and ask them how they are feeling (using guiding questions like, &quot;are you feeling upset?&quot;  &quot;do you wish that you could stay up and play longer?&quot;) will get the fingers out of the mouth long enough to hear from the child and will teach the child how to verbalize their feelings rather than act on them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="507" LastActivityDate="2013-09-05T18:53:26.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8819" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-05T20:01:16.843" Score="5" ViewCount="328" Body="&lt;p&gt;We adopted our six year-old son at age one.  When he asks questions or makes comments about the first year of his life, or when he was &quot;in momma's tummy,&quot; we have never lied to him.  We tell him we didn't know him yet because he used to live with a different family when he was a baby.  However, this information always goes straight over his head, and he shows no further curiosity.  It's like the idea seems completely absurd to him, so he ignores it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a friend who found out when he was 18 that he was adopted, and the sudden revelation really shattered his sense of identity.  I had hoped to spare my son much of the same difficulty by being open about it from the start, but it seems he is headed toward it suddenly &quot;hitting him&quot; one day anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I sit my son down with this express purpose and hammer the idea until he understands?  He has very strong ADHD-like behavior, so we occasionally have to do this for other concepts.  Or should we continue answering him truthfully but not pressing the matter?  Is there a certain age or stage at which he will be more receptive to the information and we can expect natural curiosity to prompt him to ask us more questions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T16:53:36.177" Title="When does an adoption &quot;sink in&quot; for a child?" Tags="|adoption|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8819" CreationDate="2013-09-05T21:49:14.493" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not that I have any experience with that particularly fun topic or research data to back it up, but just from my experience dealing with young kids that would be my 2 cents...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's a bit early for the concept to sink in. I don't know at what age this would start to be appropriate and to have significance in his eyes, but I'd say you could probably wait a few more years. I'd wait until 8 years old, maybe even later. Though after that I would indeed worry about the shock being stronger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a bit of catch-22 really, as if you say it a bit too early it doesn't matter and hit him at all and it'd be probably bad to try to hammer it, and if you say it a bit too late then he'd have defined some identity and get hit harder than you'd want to. But you know that already...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It's like the idea seems completely absurd to him, so he ignores it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That seems rather normal to me. Some 6 year old will have a good understanding of what a pregnancy really is, others see it in a quite abstract manner. They may just get that siblings were supposed to be in mommy's tummy and other kids were in their mommies' tummies, but some won't have that clear-cut an idea about it. Surely some get it better and sooner than others, but some also simpyl mimic behavior from their usual templates: adults surrouding them, kid books, cartoons, etc... It may look like all the chips are in place for them to understand, but it's still rather superficial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you can't expect him to really focus on the matter, as it doesn't have much importance for him at this age. It's a stage where a child is still mostly defined, in terms of identity, by his surroundings. He doesn't question his &quot;self&quot; now. He's got his family and friends, that cocoon around him is all that really matters. But he's personality should be almost set in now, and his identity will follow-through soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways, I'd wait a bit longer, until he's had time to get more information on the topics of both birth, adoption, parenting, etc... Surely at some point you'll start to notice that he apprehends these on a deeper level, and you'll sense that the time has come.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until then, maybe instead of addressing the issue directly you could simply push him in the right direction by using stories for kids that approach the matter. It may still &quot;fly over his idea&quot; at first, but it'll also quickly raise questions and make him more curious about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastActivityDate="2013-09-05T21:49:14.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7007" CreationDate="2013-09-05T22:11:41.670" Score="3" Body="&lt;h1&gt;It's the Smallest Things...&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I can't think of anything that has changed in his life that would make him start doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it's the craziest things and you wouldn't think of them at all. Try to talk it through with people who have another perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;A Quick Anecdote&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a family relative who at something like 4 to 6 years old suddenly was afraid to go into his bedroom even though he didn't have a problem sleeping in it until then. But he didn't even express this fear. He was just more difficult around bedtime, took longer to fall asleep, etc... But never said he was afraid of something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This started to puzzle the parents quite a bit, as they could sense something was off. Then one day they caught something they never had realized and couldn't believe it: their kid was now always entering his room walking &lt;strong&gt;backwards&lt;/strong&gt;. You'd think that's noticeable, but it's not as straight-forward as you might think. He'd either go all the way back, or simply walk towards the door and then do a full rotation as he entered. They verified it happened systematically, and knew they were really on to something and talked to a professional. The child's psychiatrist figured out this was an unexpressed fear and his was either (which seems rather obvious presented like that, but wouldn't necessarily be if the child doesn't really whine about his room or say anything about not wanting to be in it, doesn't have nightmwares, etc...), and suggested it was probably due to a change in the surroundings, and that he may actually be turning his back to his surroundings. They looked even closer as the pattern repeated, but couldn't figure it out. Wasn't a particular toy, nor a design on a blanket, nor something he could see through a window. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took a few more weeks until it suddenly hit them and they felt awful about it as it was simple if you didn't know the room before: the kid was simply afraid of the new wallpaper. They had changed the wallpaper on one wall of the room, it made him uneasy. And they didn't think of it because for one thing it's really in your face and you might miss such things when you look too close, but also they had been careful to pick it with the kid and he had seemed excited about it... which may explain why he didn't express his fear (guilt?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be a very small thing that's hard to notice, or it might be a huge thing right in front of you but you're not looking with the right eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For all you know, he just saw it in a movie/cartoon and figured he'd give it a shot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Back to the Fingers&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, figuring out the trigger might be hard. But on the other hand, maybe there's no cause for alarm. I know of a kid who didn't suck on his thumb, but then sucked on 2 of his fingers later while twisting a curl of his hair with the other hand. The sucking last a bit but stopped before his teenage years... but the hair twisting thing somehow stayed until way longer, and basically only stopped when he cut his hair short in his 20s!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know of another one who walked with a pacifier in his pocket until 6yo, which is way too late. He didn't use it anymore (don't remember when he stopped exactly, but a few years earlier), but he just wanted it for comfort. It was with him for some time. Then eventually in a drawer of his night-stand. And then it just became of one these family relics that you find when you open a dusty drawer one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sucking on fingers worries us usually because of the impact on teeth and for a social stigma, but in the end if it's just a way for the kid to feel some comfort, maybe it's OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these kids grew up to have nice teeth by the way (even perfect for one of them), and didn't suffer from a social stigma relating to these practices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So maybe you could approach it another way. Rather than telling the child to stop, explain that its something that should only be done in private.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastActivityDate="2013-09-05T22:11:41.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8822" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8823" CreationDate="2013-09-06T09:10:44.337" Score="5" ViewCount="153" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the essential things to bring when going into the hospital to give birth? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a short list of things that I can remember the midwives mentioning, such as a hat and vests for the newborn and sanitary pads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3962" LastActivityDate="2013-09-06T13:02:09.963" Title="Essential things to bring to the hospital" Tags="|birth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8822" CreationDate="2013-09-06T09:52:14.483" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a list based mostly on my experience... I've marked it as community wiki so others can add to it rather than accuumulating a lot of related similar answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For pre-labour, for example if you are admitted for induction:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nightgown (preferred over pyjamas for ease of access for monitoring!)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eyemask, earplugs (hard to sleep in hospital)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plenty of distraction activities (books, puzzles, knitting... whatever floats your boat)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Enough clean clothes and underwear for at least a couple of days&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;General toiletries&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For labour and birth:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A variety of energy-rich snacks (you don't know what you'll feel like eating)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Water bottle  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;MP3 player and appropriate choice of music  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Copy of birth plan  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Contact details for friends and family  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Camera &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Old or disposable nightgown (or large t-shirt) and underwear&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For you after the birth:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nursing bra&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Comfortable clothes (still maternity clothes at this point)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Old or disposable big pants &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Enormous maternity pads&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shower stuff&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For baby:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Two or three vests / babygros / bodysuits&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Two or three sleepsuits&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Newborn size nappies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wipes or a big bag of cotton wool&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Car seat (and instructions for use!) if you will be leaving by car&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastEditorUserId="1477" LastEditDate="2013-09-06T13:02:09.963" LastActivityDate="2013-09-06T13:02:09.963" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2013-09-06T09:52:14.483" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8824" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-06T10:27:45.083" Score="6" ViewCount="13809" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our situation is that potty training is going well at home, but really badly at daycare. We have an appointment with the daycare staff next week to discuss strategies. My son, who is 2.5 years old, is showing signs of stress for the first time in his life, which also means he is being unusually obnoxious: doing everything he's not allowed to, uncluding dangerous stuff such as opening the oven. I'm finding it difficult to strike a balance between being supportive and putting my foot down, which in turn makes it difficult to come up with decisive requests from the daycare staff. For example, my son has begun peeing in defiance: when we put him in timeout, or when we don't want to play with him at that very moment, he'll look us in the eye and pee in his pants. To my mind, this is a situation where he should be told this is a bad thing to do, but every single source on potty training says to never be negative about accidents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a breakdown of our situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My son is 2.5. We began potty training 5-6 weeks ago while on&#xA;holiday. He had zero peeing accidents by the third day. Pooping is&#xA;more difficult as he can't hold it in for very long, but he does know&#xA;to tell us in advance when he needs to go. We know he can hold in&#xA;urine for something like half a day, as well as all night. He was&#xA;very proud of his underwear, and of every potty achievment. He's generally very motivated to follow rules and to stay clean, so I'm not surprised that it was easy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After holidays, in daycare, it worked well for a few days, but he&#xA;gradually began resisting more and more. They try asking him&#xA;frequently, asking him rarely, asking him at different points in the&#xA;day, giving stickers, congratulating, talking, letting him choose if&#xA;he wants to use the potty or the tiny toilets, but he's resisting&#xA;more and more as time goes by.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At first he was greatly distressed by his accidents, but he slowly&#xA;stopped caring. By now he mostly messes his pants, 4-5 times a day,&#xA;and only very ocassionally uses the potty.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have a vague notion that he might be peeing in defiance in daycare&#xA;as well, rather that not being able to communicate his need. Maybe&#xA;he's angry if they interrupt his playing or something of that sort.&#xA;It's hard to know.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He started having occasional accidents at home as well, and wetting&#xA;his bed multiple times per night. He also mostly stopped caring about&#xA;being wet when it happens. This is very unusual for him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The daycare staff are clearly uncomfortable about the situation because they feel they are stressing him out by insisting he uses the potty (I also bet they're not too crazy about the messes, but they don't say this). They&#xA;even put a diaper on him twice so far. We told them not to after the&#xA;first instance, but the second time he asked for it and they thought&#xA;this was a good enough reason to do it. We think it's confusing for&#xA;him to be able to pee freely sometimes and need to go potty at other times. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We haven't been entirely consistent either, as we returned night-time&#xA;diapers after a week, with the idea that we should tackle daycare&#xA;first and nights later, and that's it's too much stress for him to be&#xA;having accidents every night on top of every weekday.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would appreciate any input or suggestions for what to tell the daycare staff, or what to do differently at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T14:22:39.813" Title="How do we deal with potty training at daycare?" Tags="|potty-training|daycare|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8824" CreationDate="2013-09-06T11:33:01.987" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you thought of just taking a break?  Some kids are gung-ho from the start, some go in fits and spurts.  Maybe yours is indeed stressed from training and daycare and just needs some down time.  Try going back to diapers for a week or two, or until he settles down and indicates he's ready to try again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-09-06T11:33:01.987" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8816" CreationDate="2013-09-06T13:17:21.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've seen one just once, but I don't recall the brand.&#xA;It doesn't seem to be as safe as the one I bought for my twins. At least, the mom that was pushing the latched strollers was having some trouble with so many wheels and uneven sidewalks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4762" LastActivityDate="2013-09-06T13:17:21.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8816" CreationDate="2013-09-06T13:51:44.797" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.co.uk/list_7453930_double-strollers-separate.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ehow.co.uk/list_7453930_double-strollers-separate.html&lt;/a&gt; contains a list including:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;iCandy Apple / Pear &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Phil &amp;amp; Ted's Sport Buggy with Doubles Kit &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Uppa Baby Vista Stroller &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby Jogger City Select Stroller&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also buy connectors to attach two single strollers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000056J23&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-6550-Stroller-Connectors/dp/B000056J23&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B003XMWFAU&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-20065-Stroller-Links-Black/dp/B003XMWFAU&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-09-06T13:51:44.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8829" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-07T14:49:57.130" Score="5" ViewCount="2042" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a very active 4 1/2 month old baby, who has been swaddled since birth. For the last month, he has been breaking out of his swaddle (we use the SwaddleMe brand) and waking up several times per night, which seems to indicate that he's ready to be weaned from it. I've tried leaving one arm out, intending to move on to 2 arms out and eventually moving him to a sleepsack, but he flails his arms wildly and is unable to sleep (despite soother and white noise). He used to get up only 1-2 times in the night to feed then return to bed peacefully, but is now waking up every hour or two, having busted out of his swaddle (and often having rolled himself onto his stomach, screaming). It's clear he's done with swaddling, yet I can't get him to sleep without it. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4766" LastEditorUserId="4766" LastEditDate="2013-09-07T17:28:27.387" LastActivityDate="2015-06-28T20:39:07.440" Title="How can I wean my active baby from swaddling?" Tags="|infant|sleep|swaddling|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8829" CreationDate="2013-09-07T17:57:46.627" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, check if your baby still has a Moro reflex based on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=moro%20reflex%20test&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=2&amp;amp;cad=rja&amp;amp;ved=0CDMQtwIwAQ&amp;amp;url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTz-iVI2mf4&amp;amp;ei=t2crUt-pNsX22QWP7oDQDA&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNHfaWBh8gRdlI3LSn2BaE8r-YuMyA&amp;amp;sig2=gjgnOCinaAQhraC92xbkWQ&amp;amp;bvm=bv.51773540,d.b2I&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; test - the Moro disappears between 4 and 6 months, though for some babies it is never severe enough to interfere with sleep. Since your child does roll, swaddling is no longer safe, though. Stomach sleep, which he can do now that he can roll himself, also counteracts the Moro reflex. For a baby who could not yet roll I might try a harder to break swaddle product, such as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://annaandeve.com/swaddle-strap&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Swaddle Strap&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Safe for babies who roll and still have a Moro reflex, or even just love swaddling, you can try one of the &quot;step down&quot; swaddle products. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://zipadeezip.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Zippadee-Zip&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.magicsleepsuit.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit&lt;/a&gt; are commonly recommended and I have heard great things from other parents about both, though a few negative reviews of the Sleep Suit say it did nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want to invest in a step down from swaddling product or find it doesn't work, you may just need to wait a few minutes without intervening - check with your pediatrician but mine said up to 20 was acceptable at this age, we only did 5 minutes at a time - while he figures out how to stomach sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="2146" LastEditDate="2013-09-07T23:05:57.410" LastActivityDate="2013-09-07T23:05:57.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8832" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-08T08:21:07.780" Score="2" ViewCount="7970" Body="&lt;p&gt;The collar and cuff of my daughter's Baby Bjorn bib have become quite mouldy. Probably because we didn't wash them soon enough, or put them in a bag whilst still damp when we were out of the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/xLzhx.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Bjorn bib collar and cuff&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of products which can kill/remove mould or mildew, but I think they're pretty harsh and poisonous and she's likely to chew these or eat food off them. I don't really want to put these items on a really hot wash (over 40 deg C), as it might ruin them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any ideas for cleaning this mould off in a way that is safe for a baby/toddler?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T02:00:15.100" Title="Removing mould from baby clothing" Tags="|toddler|hygiene|cleaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8832" CreationDate="2013-09-08T08:35:41.430" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Soak in a mix of vinegar and water. This will kill the mould, and it is relatively safe. Then wash. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bleach would be no good. Apart from being more harmful if any stays in the clothes, it only whitens the mould, rather than killing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[This is based on information I read online for removing mould from walls.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2394" LastActivityDate="2013-09-08T08:35:41.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8834" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-08T11:30:23.120" Score="3" ViewCount="408" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby won't be with me for around 15 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it is safe to add fresh breast milk to already frozen breast milk?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If not, then how to preserve the daily extracted breast milk in freezer for a long time assuming I don't wish to use 8 different vessels (8 times extraction) per day multiplied by 15 (number of days)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-21T13:40:11.307" LastActivityDate="2019-01-21T13:40:11.307" Title="How to preserve the daily extracted breast milk in freezer for a long time?" Tags="|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8835" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8836" CreationDate="2013-09-08T11:40:49.620" Score="3" ViewCount="135" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nestlé's infant formula contains probiotic bacteria. This formula is expensive, so I was wondering whether these bacteria are the same bacteria (which prevent infections and diseases) present in the breast milk? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does my infant &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;*need*&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; these bacteria?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the required type of bacteria not present in the formula but present in breast milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-17T13:00:20.110" LastActivityDate="2018-12-17T13:00:20.110" Title="Are the probiotic bacteria from formula the same bacteria present in breast milk?" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|formula|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8835" CreationDate="2013-09-08T19:15:16.770" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is almost certain they do not &lt;strong&gt;need&lt;/strong&gt; this bacteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a look at &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/q/6180/619&quot;&gt;this question on Skeptics&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;the European Food Safety authority has researched 800 health claims of such companies, and they could not find relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is some evidence that probiotics can help in certain situations, for a small subset of the population, but that is about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2013-09-08T19:15:16.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8834" CreationDate="2013-09-08T23:55:10.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The guideline is that you can add fresh milk to frozen milk as long as the amount of frozen is greater than the amount of fresh you add. Otherwise you raise the temperature of the frozen milk into a risky range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The usual strategy is to use breastmilk storage bags such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lansinoh.com/products/milk-storage-bags&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Lanisoh's&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.target.com/p/medela-50pk-pump-save-breastmilk-storage-bags/-/A-10421047&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Medela's&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ameda.com/breastfeeding-products/milk-collection-storage/store-%27n-pour-breast-milk-storage-bags&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ameda's&lt;/a&gt;, or I am sure there are other options. Since breastmilk is good at room temperature for 8-10 hours and in the fridge for 5 days you can put your pump parts and a storage bag in the fridge for your daily pumping and then freeze those bags once the day is done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Storing in smaller amounts additionally makes sense because once defrosted the thawed milk must be used within 24 hours rather than the usual 5 days that never-frozen milk can last in a fridge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-09-08T23:55:10.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8832" CreationDate="2013-09-09T02:00:15.100" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Living in Asia this is something I often have to deal with. What I find always works for me is to either:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Soak the clothes in hot (close to boiling) water for 30 minute, then wash, or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wash on hot (as hot as possible)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always been able to get every trace of it out of my child's clothes, including all of the smell. Because of the climate (and other issues) in this part of the world, I often have to repeat this process once every year or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T02:00:15.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8657" CreationDate="2013-09-09T04:33:41.353" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good general rule for timeouts is 1 minute per age of the child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A timeout isn't supposed to be treated as a &quot;punishment&quot;, but a way to remove the child from the problem situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At very young ages, like 1 or 2, it's long enough to (a) calm them down a bit, and (b) get them used to the concept (introducing it later can be more difficult without starting early).  They may not understand what it's for, but it can still be effective even if they don't understand it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T04:33:41.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8477" CreationDate="2013-09-09T05:28:41.210" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you live in or near a major city, there are a lot of cloth diaper delivery services that will manage pickup/delivery/cleaning of cloth diapers, saving you a lot of the hassle.  Dirty diapers go in a bin, get picked up and replaced with clean ones by the service once a week.  We used &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.happynappy.ca/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Happy Nappy&lt;/a&gt; for our first child, and it was just as easy as disposables (easier since we didn't have to cart home the huge boxes of diapers from the store).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T05:28:41.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8841" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-09T05:36:16.167" Score="2" ViewCount="153" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was looking for some exercises , games for 6-7 month old infants that would help them exercise their motor skills and cognition. Since such infants can't even sit or rollover without support, what types of games, toys etc would help in their mental development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-01-01T06:25:42.053" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T06:25:42.053" Title="What are some focusing exercises that can be performed on an infant to improve their motor skills and cognition" Tags="|infant|newborn|toys|games|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8843" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-09T07:31:31.017" Score="4" ViewCount="1766" Body="&lt;p&gt;I plan to go to an all day event 10am - 8pm and won't be able to sterilise bottles during the day. If I sterilise them in the morning, how long will I be able to use them for? If I put them in the fridge at the event, will they be considered sterile for longer? My baby will be 4 weeks old for this, if that makes a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edit: to clarify, I am planning on taking empty bottles and filling them up from cartons when I am there. So I am talking about just the bottles, the milk is not a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4229" LastEditorUserId="4229" LastEditDate="2013-09-10T07:22:50.930" LastActivityDate="2013-09-10T21:13:52.447" Title="How long are sterilised bottles sterile for? And is there a way to keep them sterile for longer?" Tags="|newborn|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8844" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-09T07:37:17.850" Score="2" ViewCount="78" Body="&lt;p&gt;Age 2.5 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I swaddle her and put her in my lap. When she's asleep I notice her banging her head sideways.&#xA;Also, today I tried Kangaroo Care and put her naked on my chest (on her stomach), when she was asleep I found her banging her head on my chest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could cause this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T07:37:17.850" Title="Why does my infant bang her head sideways in sleep?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2013-09-12T12:18:38.817" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8845" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8847" CreationDate="2013-09-09T10:08:16.570" Score="5" ViewCount="188" Body="&lt;p&gt;What would be the appropriate time and duration to perform &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kangaroo_care&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Kangaroo care&lt;/a&gt; (in which baby is supposed to make skin to skin contact) in order to increase breast milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-01-28T13:31:21.857" LastActivityDate="2019-01-28T13:31:21.857" Title="What would be the appropriate time and duration to perform Kangaroo care?" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8846" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8850" CreationDate="2013-09-09T11:49:57.173" Score="2" ViewCount="3510" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this site is only about Parenting so hope this question is not too far off this site scope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is 37 weeks and 5 days into her pregnancy and till now she just used to have pains similar to menstrual cramps but since yesterday night her cramps are more regular about 2 hours apart, last for 20-30 mins and accompanied with a tightness of her stomach, which is new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did go in to the hospital yesterday and she and the baby checked out fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So i wanted to know, is she starting her contractions if not what do contractions actually feel like?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4688" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T12:37:23.203" Title="what do labor contractions actually feel like?" Tags="|birth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8845" CreationDate="2013-09-09T11:51:52.867" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're talking about what is officially termed &quot;kangaroo care&quot;, for premature and special-needs babies, then you'd need to follow your doctors' recommendations for their care. Kangaroo care may be recommended for up to several hours at a time, but it would depend on how medically stable the baby was. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if you are talking about a more informal skin-to-skin contact for an otherwise healthy baby, for example if you are struggling with low supply issues, or even if you have plenty of supply but baby isn't gaining weight, then 48 hours of skin-to-skin time would almost certainly resolve it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I literally took myself and the (then ~2 week old) baby off to bed for a whole weekend and got my husband to deliver regular snacks and drinks. We slept and snuggled and by the end of the weekend things were going much, much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a good summary of the research on skin-to-skin contact (including kangaroo care in premature and low birthweight babies) here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Skin-to-skin-contact/&quot;&gt;http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Skin-to-skin-contact/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastEditorUserId="1477" LastEditDate="2013-09-09T13:07:40.530" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T13:07:40.530" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8841" CreationDate="2013-09-09T12:04:23.720" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might have seen &quot;play gyms&quot; - these are mats with interesting patches.  Some of the patches make noises, or have different textures, or are bright colours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the mats have soft frames and mobile things dangling down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tummy time is good because it helps with crawling and avoiding flat head.  And having fun things to crawl towards helps.  Having things dangling over you is interesting, and children reach their arms out to try to reach the things.  But watch out!  sometimes having this stuff can become gently distressing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also &quot;heuristic play&quot; - this pretty much means that you find a bunch of everyday objects with different colours and textures and sounds, and put them near your child to play with.  S/He will explore different things.  Often children take things to their mouth to explore them - the lips have many sensitive nerve endings - so you want to make sure the objects are safe.  You obviously need close monitoring with this, but you want to try to balance &quot;freedom to explore&quot; with &quot;let's be safe&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Messy play with things like tins of baked beans or cold-cooked rice pudding (lumpy, chunky, textures) are fun because children squeeze things between fingers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For slightly older children pens and paints introduce finger nad hand movements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T12:04:23.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8846" CreationDate="2013-09-09T12:37:23.203" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, this is what contractions feel like (although they get closer together, shorter, and stronger in labour). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These could be Braxton-Hicks contractions (&quot;practice contractions&quot;) and just a sign that she needs to slow down and rest more and stay well-hydrated. You can also have days or weeks of what is called &quot;prodromal labour&quot; before the real thing happens. There's a good overview of Braxton-Hicks and prodromal labour here:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://thebirthteacher.blogspot.co.uk/2008/12/prodromal-labor.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://thebirthteacher.blogspot.co.uk/2008/12/prodromal-labor.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at 37w5d she's technically term anyway, so not a big problem if it does turn out to be the real thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T12:37:23.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8657" CreationDate="2013-09-09T18:40:15.883" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At what age can you start giving time-outs? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each of my children have been different, but I've started giving time-outs from the time they can go up and down stairs safely and understand simple three word instructions, which has typically happened before 2 years old.  The stairs thing is simply because our time-outs are on the bottom step of the stairs, and there's little point in making time-outs dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[My 2-year old] hit her baby brother and I'm not sure she really will understand the concept of time-out yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children may not understand action-consequence explicitly, but children as young as one can and do learn sign languages that get them rewards, so they are certainly capable of learning that hitting a person results in them being set on the stairs, and getting up from the stairs without permission results in them being put on the stairs again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time-outs &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be effective at very young ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, time-outs are further up on the scale of escalation for my family.  Particularly at that young age we prefer to talk to them, and we will only remove them from the situation only if we've told them not to perform the bad action and they continue to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't seem until age 3 or 4 when they are purposefully engaging in bad behavior to the degree that we have to provide a punishment that discourages the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, be very, very consistent.  At this young age they will not learn and remember as quickly if they can't count on you reacting exactly the same each time you work with them on a new pattern or behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T18:40:15.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8812" CreationDate="2013-09-09T19:05:12.093" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, they don't. Kids find it similar to the regular diaper and they act like ther're wearing one.&#xA;They need to feel more comfortable wearing regular underwear than wearing a diaper. Try it in the summer. Generally, kids like this idea.&#xA;They are ready as soon as they can say &quot;Mom/Dad, I need my potty&quot; or something like that. And, of course, even after that, sometimes they forget about the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4762" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T19:05:12.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8477" CreationDate="2013-09-09T23:01:27.543" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try Elimination Communication.  Offer opportunities to use the bathroom&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At opportunistic times (after naps, half an hour after bottle/breastfeeding, before meals, before and after car rides, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When your baby has a worried (deer-in-headlights) look on his/her face&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When your baby is gassy, has low appetite, or is making grunting noises&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You general technique is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At any age (birth and up), suspend your baby in a sitting position by holding him/her under the knees.  You can do it over a sink, toilet (&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; an autoflush toilet!), or bathtub.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After age 3 months, you can try a Baby Björn Baby Potty (holding your baby upright, of course).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Graduate to a potty and training toilet seat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're lucky, you'll be able to save a few diapers now and then.  The main point, though, is to get them used to the idea that being wet is uncomfortable and abnormal, so that potty training isn't a fight to unlearn everything they ever knew about relieving themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will be some days when EC goes well, and you end up using just one diaper a day.  There will also be days (or even weeks) when it just doesn't work.  My advice is just to start early and keep a carefree attitude, and you &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; save a ton of diapers.  You'll also get more in tune with your baby's digestion and appetite patterns.  I can personally attest to having avoided some major diaper blowout disasters due to this awareness!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(You can do EC with any kind of diaper, or when you're adventurous, no diaper.  I personally recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fuzzibunz.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;FuzziBunz&lt;/a&gt;, which were much less disaster-prone than gDiapers.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2013-09-09T23:01:27.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8854" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-09T23:08:58.480" Score="3" ViewCount="345" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 year old son has developed a habit of picking at a scab on his forehead. Unfortunately plasters just do no stick there for more than an hour or three (sweaty). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I get him to stop this as the scab has not healed for a very long time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:18:23.577" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:18:23.577" Title="How do I stop my son picking at his scabs" Tags="|behavior|middle-childhood|habits|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="220" CreationDate="2013-09-10T15:53:19.997" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think as a child becomes older than 18 and still living at home and working and going to school should probably not have to pay rent unless there are major financial hardships in paying the mortgage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, a lot of families went through the housing crisis and need every adult living on the home to contribute in some way or another. Adult children can pay a household bill which helps a great deal and gives them a sense of responsibility. If they pay absolutely nothing and instead just go to the mall and blow their paychecks they will never learn how to save or budget. It's better to train them early or it will be a very depressing wake up call out on their own. Teach them young! Money matters!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4772" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2013-09-11T11:27:57.123" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T11:27:57.123" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8843" CreationDate="2013-09-10T21:13:52.447" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you take empty sterilised bottles, they will be good for the entire day given the following conditions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;after sterilising bottles, teats and caps, close the bottles, and put the cap over the teat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;store the bottles in a clean bag&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;after feeding, store the used bottles in  a separate compartment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, they should be perfectly healthy for babies over a longer timespan than this, but taking extra care with a 4 week old is never a bad idea so stick to a one day maximum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-09-10T21:13:52.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8857" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8871" CreationDate="2013-09-11T00:17:56.797" Score="31" ViewCount="11252" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, my almost two year old has started lying. It has taken us by a surprise; we are not sure if she means to lie, or if she doesn't understand what she is talking about. I'll give some examples...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other day she was in a room by herself and I was just outside the room. No one else was around. All of a sudden I hear a thud followed by a cry. I checked on her; she had just fallen off a ball while trying to sit on it. Anyway, she wailed, &quot;[her older sister] pushed me.&quot; Holding my laughter back, I calmly corrected her, &quot;No, [daughter], you just fell off.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then again, today, after her father gave her a bath and was trying to dry her, she came wailing to me, &quot;Dada hit me. [her older sister] hit me.&quot; Nothing of the sort happened, she just wanted to run around wet instead of be dried. We both corrected her that no one hit her, that we just dried her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine that she is &quot;lying&quot; because well, at least in the first instance, she is used to only falling down because of her elder sister pushing her. So perhaps she thinks that she only falls when she is being pushed. No clue about the second one; maybe she feel that she needs a reason to cry? Not sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone run into this, if so, how did you deal with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2013-09-12T14:13:00.360" LastActivityDate="2019-08-11T08:51:42.680" Title="My toddler has started &quot;lying&quot;" Tags="|toddler|lying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8859" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-11T03:57:04.227" Score="2" ViewCount="3113" Body="&lt;p&gt;Doctor gave me some pills to increase breast milk but at the same time told me that those pills won't be effective unless the baby sucks directly from your breast since breast pumps cannot suck like a baby does.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Emptying the breast with the breast pump is not a problem for me I think.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She said it is all about the &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;signals&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; the brain gets to produce more milk when the baby sucks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I wish to know how to mimic the infant sucking actions with a &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;manual&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; breast pump?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T12:16:47.813" Title="How to mimic the infant sucking actions with a manual breast pump?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8860" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-11T05:46:23.473" Score="3" ViewCount="2699" Body="&lt;p&gt;I mean if I keep on eating food every two hours, will I produce more milk? OR If I eat less food will the milk supply decrease?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, I am a thin girlie with very low appetite (height: 5 feet 5 cm' weight: 52 KG), so I was wondering if my quantity of food intake might be one of the reasons of low milk production?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-19T16:09:58.330" LastActivityDate="2018-12-19T16:09:58.330" Title="Does a heavy diet increase milk production quantity?" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8861" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-11T11:02:32.767" Score="1" ViewCount="2887" Body="&lt;p&gt;My newborn (about 4 weeks old now) takes hours to feed - this has been the case since birth. When breastfeeding, she can feed for 3, 4 even more hours and then still be hungry when removed from the breast. We have started topping up with formula after 1 hour of breastfeeding and she can still take an hour and a half to finish the bottle making the feed take two hours or more in total. To clarify, she is constantly sucking during this time, not falling asleep or taking breaks, or sucking gently - she is constantly taking milk for the full time. Getting her undressed/skin on skin doesn't make any difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? Is there anything we can do to make her eat faster - my wife is slowly losing her mind!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4229" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T11:22:23.080" Title="My newborn is a slow eater, is that normal?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8857" CreationDate="2013-09-11T11:05:15.807" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is quite normal, as in it is a stage where the children try out how far they can get away with lying. They are testing you, and so it is important to make clear that this is not acceptable behavior. You should confront this every time you see it, and tell her that this is not true, and that she is not allowed to lie. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the first attempts, the clear reason behind lying might not be obvious, as this is quite new to the child. She may have noticed someone else telling lies, and try to do it herself without fully understanding why people do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T11:05:15.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8861" CreationDate="2013-09-11T11:22:23.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Extended periods of feeding is fairly normal at a newborn stage. &lt;strong&gt;Three-four hours of continuous feeding is not&lt;/strong&gt;. If she is going on every 15 minutes with 15 minute breaks in between -- that's a growth spurt, it's normal, it'll pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine that even though she is sucking, she is not actually taking milk -- she might be latched incorrectly. &lt;strong&gt;I would highly recommend a lactation consultant or a visit to your doctor.&lt;/strong&gt;. There might be other issues with her tongue or even the mom's breast which are preventing efficient flow of milk. Having a day's schedule of when the baby was fed and for how long would greatly help them in seeing the problem. You may also need baby's poop and pee count so that they can take comfort in knowing that the baby is actually eating enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T11:22:23.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8859" CreationDate="2013-09-11T12:16:47.813" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.p4c.philips.com/files/s/scf290_20/scf290_20_dfu_aen.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;instructions for the Avent Isis manual breastpump&lt;/a&gt; include the following information under the &quot;How to use&quot; section:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;7) Begin by pumping 5-6 times rapidly to initiate let-down. Then, hold&#xA;  the handle down for 2-3 seconds, and allow it to return to its resting&#xA;  place. These 2-3 second cycles imitate your baby’s natural suckling&#xA;  pattern and allow the milk to flow between strokes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would encourage you to read the whole of Section 8 &quot;Hints to help you succeed&quot; as well - they are general points and not specific to the particular operation of the Isis pump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T12:16:47.813" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8860" CreationDate="2013-09-11T12:19:56.127" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No. Breast milk production will increase with the amount of liquid that you're consuming. Rule of thumb: the more liquid you take, more milk you will have. However, if you reduce significantly the amount of food, the milk might have less nutrients. The key is keeping your feed balanced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4762" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T12:19:56.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8867" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-11T12:42:44.610" Score="6" ViewCount="547" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (who is turning 3) has his own potty, and is quite content to sit on it, sing his &quot;potty song&quot;, stand up, and &quot;flush&quot; (it's a plastic training potty that plays a sound when you pull the lever).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he will generally only sit on the potty fully clothed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we ask him if he'd like to take his pants off to sit on the potty, he'll politely say &quot;no thank you&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has allowed us to take his pants off for the potty a handful of times, and he apparently takes his pants off to sit on the potty at daycare (he's actually urinated in the potty properly once at daycare).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We offer him treats (M&amp;amp;M's candy), and have told him that he can have a pet fish once he's fully potty trained.  We explain to him that he can only have the treats if he actually pees or poops in the potty, and that he has to take his pants and diaper off to do that.  He also understands that the fish is a long-term goal, and won't happen until he stops wearing diapers altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been going on for 3-4 months now, with no apparent progress (aside from the single successful use of the potty at daycare, about a month ago).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've taken the approach of using treats as incentive to be consistent with what happens at daycare, because quite frankly his daycare provider has had more success than we have had.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything we should be doing differently, or that we can add to our approach, to help our son be willing to move forward?  Or should we just wait until he's ready?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T15:36:00.520" Title="How can we convince our son to take his pants off to sit on the potty?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8867" CreationDate="2013-09-11T16:46:32.043" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't know how verbal he is, but have you sat him down and quizzed him about why he doesn't want to use the potty?  I mean, as in throw out different possibilities (some serious, some silly) and see what he responds to?  He may know why he's reluctant to use the potty, but unable to sufficiently verbalize it for y'all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a different issue with our daughter: she was afraid to actually use the potty, because as it turns out she didn't know what happened to the pee and poo when they left the potty.  We were only able to figure this out after a few of those quiz sessions I mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two books REALLY helped her get over that hump: Everyone Poops (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0613685725&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Amazon&lt;/a&gt;), and Where's the Poop? (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0060530898&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;also Amazon&lt;/a&gt;).  It helped when we were able to figure out why she didn't want to go, and then these books showed her other kids using the potty (sans britches!) which helped normalize it for her more than just our words or seeing the grownups on the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that helped our DD was a reward chart.  She got a star every time she went potty, and when she saved up enough stars, she could trade them in for a trip to the prize box (which we keep stocked with stickers, small cars, like that; Oriental Trading is your friend when it comes to stocking up cheap prizes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T16:46:32.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8860" CreationDate="2013-09-11T20:35:23.193" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though total amount of food do not affect amount of milk created, yet some kinds of food increase milk production. For example: green leaves (fennel, parsley leaves, lettuce), almonds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4628" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T20:35:23.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8860" CreationDate="2013-09-11T23:31:45.923" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The single biggest factor affecting milk production is how much milk your baby drinks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, at extremes, you need to enough body hydration to be able to produce milk, but your body reacts to your baby's feeding habits. If the baby doesn't take much, your milk production will slow; if your baby takes large quantities of milk then your body will increase milk production.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So best plan: keep well hydrated, eat healthy foods with all the vitamins you may need, and your body will produce the right amount of milk for your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T23:31:45.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8857" CreationDate="2013-09-11T23:36:39.053" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lying is actually a key developmental milestone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A quick quote from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wellspringutah.com/index.php?/main/newsletters/the_truth_about_lying_how_it_all_begins/&quot;&gt;Wellspringutah&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;when a young child tells a lie, it is helpful for parents to remind themselves that it is not as much a crisis of morality as it is a signal of an important emerging developmental milestone. It might be a bit much to say that it is cause for celebration when a child tells his first lie, but it does show that the child is maturing cognitively. Lying demonstrates that a child is acquiring what child development specialists call “theory of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Research has shown that deception starts in children between two and three years of age and that there is a marked increase between three and five years of age in a child’s use and understanding of deceptive strategies&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't worry about it - in fact worry if they don't ever try this - but help them understand why lying is not a good practice through discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-09-11T23:36:39.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8872" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8873" CreationDate="2013-09-12T04:35:53.520" Score="23" ViewCount="3269" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents divorced when I was 10 and that was the last time I had a relationship with my father.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My father still lives close to me locally but he doesn't contact me, and if I see him in public I do not address him for personal reasons.  Now I am married and I have a child and he has seen me with my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child is almost five and has started asking where my daddy is.  This is a hard topic to discuss and I do not think my child would understand if I just said &quot;my father was a deadbeat dad.&quot;  I also know that I do not want to lie to my child and say my father is dead in case my father might grow up one day.  My child has asked several times now and I have dodged/changed the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you explain to a child that one of your own parents is not around?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4556" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T15:47:45.457" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T08:00:06.230" Title="How to explain to your child why a grandparent isn't around" Tags="|teaching|parents|grandparents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8872" CreationDate="2013-09-12T09:01:17.283" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel for you, I had a bad relationship with my father for a long time. Fortunately we managed to patch it up but that's not always in the cards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't sugar coat too much or lie to your child. He's asking a fair question and it deserves an answer. Life doesn't always work out how we want and he's going to have to learn that sometime. That doesn't mean you have to tell the unvarnished truth either, you may want to take the really hard edges off in places. Talk about your feeling about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would think is most important is what you say after you tell him about your father. You are about to tell him that not everyone had a father that cares about him and he may worry about him and you. Make sure he knows you care about him, and that the same thing isn't going to happen to you two. Maybe do something fun with him to reinforce that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-09-12T09:01:17.283" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8874" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8894" CreationDate="2013-09-12T11:31:03.903" Score="10" ViewCount="340" Body="&lt;p&gt;For at least a few weeks now our 17-month old daughter has enjoyed playing with teddies and dolls, especially putting them into situations which she experiences. For example she'll want to brush their teeth or change their nappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We think this is fun, so we join in with it. Sometimes we play at making the doll throw a tantrum about having her teeth cleaned, complete with our imitation wailing noises - just like our daughter throws a tantrum when having her teeth cleaned. I have to admit that part of the reason we do it is a kind of ironic revenge on our sometimes-stroppy daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What surprised us is that our daughter thinks the doll or teddy throwing a tantrum is &lt;em&gt;hilarious&lt;/em&gt;, it always gets a good laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find it hard to believe that she really understands the irony of the situation, as she seems to be of average development for her age. Is this just a kind of humour that can be enjoyed on many levels?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastEditorUserId="4031" LastEditDate="2013-09-16T10:44:20.153" LastActivityDate="2013-09-17T09:02:39.607" Title="Can a 17-month old really appreciate humour/irony?" Tags="|toddler|play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8872" CreationDate="2013-09-12T18:05:20.390" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The usual recommendation is to give an honest answer, but only answer the &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; question and don't volunteer extra information. Also, adjust your answer to the maturity of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is totally abstract and not always helpful, but what you can do is think of the ways - and the situations - in which your child might ask about the grandfather. Practising your responses helps you not panic when asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-09-12T18:05:20.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8834" CreationDate="2013-09-12T19:03:04.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Soem sites say that you can keep it freezed for as long as 6 months, as long they are in the freezer (source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/milkstorage/milkstorage/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/milkstorage/milkstorage/&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How we deal with it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;use the pumper for several days, so that the baby wouldn't be out of food while we were saving it for the future&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;separate in plastic bags (don't know their name in english, not those you would get at a supermarket, but those ones used to freeze food), in portions of 50 ml. These portions can be used as needed, without the need of unfreeze a large amount and end up trowing it away afterwards&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;take care of writing down the date when each small packet was collected, so that you don't use an old one by mistake&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2013-09-12T19:03:04.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8834" CreationDate="2013-09-13T16:58:33.007" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What we were recommended, and found incredibly useful, was to use ice cube trays. Then once the milk has frozen in cubes you can put as many as you need into bags, clean and sterilise the trays and make another set.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This meant we could easily take the amount we might need for that half-day, day, weekend or however long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-09-13T16:58:33.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8880" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-13T17:08:01.297" Score="28" ViewCount="12282" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-year-old goes to bed between 6:00 - 7:00 pm, though she doesn't go to sleep for an hour or so later.  Her teacher was &quot;very concerned&quot; about us putting her to bed so early and commented that it &quot;may be considered abusive&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't see how this would be construed as abuse.  Her teacher also said it was &quot;selfish&quot; because my wife and I want to spend time together in the evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I addressed this with my daughter's teacher very firmly and invited her to call CPS if she thought we were abusive.  The more I think about it, the madder I get.  I can't seem to find anything that would indicate abuse.  In fact, most of the material I've found on online forums indicate that a 9-year-old needs 12 hours of sleep.  Most parents (on the messages) put their 9-year-olds to bed at 8:00pm because they get up around 7:00am.  Our daughter has to get up at 5:15am, so I see nothing wrong with putting her to bed at 6:00pm to wind down before going to sleep around 7:00-7:30pm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4670" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T08:10:16.777" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T08:10:16.777" Title="Is putting a 9-year-old to bed early abusive?" Tags="|sleep|age-appropriate|bedtime|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8880" CreationDate="2013-09-13T20:47:42.047" Score="41" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a foster parent for a year.  I met parents who were unequivocally abusive.  One thing I took from that experience is that the term &quot;abusive&quot; is applied way too frequently to normal parents who at worst are making honest mistakes and at best just have a different parenting style.  It dilutes the impact of the word, and in my opinion dishonors truly abused children.  That label should never be applied to parents who are honestly and kindly trying to do what's right for the health of their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, even if it doesn't rise to the level of abuse, it's possible such an early bedtime may be a mistake.  You didn't mention how the topic came up with the teacher in the first place, or what your daughter's daily agenda is like.  If she effectively has no awake time at home, it might be worth sacrificing an hour or two of sleep in order not to deprive her of those learning and social opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing is that kids don't usually need their wind down time to be in bed.  You can just have a &quot;settle down&quot; hour where only quiet and still activities are allowed.  Don't assume it will still take an hour to wind down if you put her to bed later.  It might take a while to adjust to the new routine, but assuming no medical problems, kids generally will fall asleep within 5-10 minutes when their bodies are ready to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-09-13T20:47:42.047" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1474" CreationDate="2013-09-13T21:18:20.843" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is obviously an old question now, but I'd add vision issues to the list of possible causes. Good vision is more than just clarity of sight - I had issues with eye teaming (getting both eyes to focus on the same spot in three-dimensional space) as a kid, and have seen clumsiness as a symptom before. Doing an eye checkup with an eye doctor that does vision training with kids could shed light on whether or not this is a factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="667" LastActivityDate="2013-09-13T21:18:20.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2528" CreationDate="2013-09-14T07:24:44.647" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Smoke detector is a indispensable security system since you have babies in your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4788" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-09-14T12:19:46.330" LastActivityDate="2013-09-14T12:19:46.330" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2013-09-14T07:24:44.647" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8880" CreationDate="2013-09-14T08:24:54.190" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would add that children that don't sleep what they need tend to be physical instead of intellectual when facing problems. So sleeping too lite is often a source for frustration and small fights. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What Karl said about calming down the last hour is good. We always read a story to our children in a way to calm down and also create a routine so their body knows that that the reading moment is a &quot;call to bed&quot; and it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here in Sweden, what you describe is the standard good practice to guarantee the children would sleep what they need. And in the summer the sun is shining strong when its bed time ( because we are quite up north), so we need to keep the bedtime anyway. We explain them why we go to bed when the sun is up. I think explaining is important. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you say your daughter goes up at 5:15am, I think you are doing what's best for her. Try to make some routine around bed time procedure and calm down activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4789" LastEditorUserId="4789" LastEditDate="2013-09-14T15:18:59.040" LastActivityDate="2013-09-14T15:18:59.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4792" CreationDate="2013-09-14T16:40:25.233" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thumbs up to Kathrine's approach! I am doing something similar with my 19 month old daughter. It seems to be working. New parents: Don't let your baby sleep with you from the beginning, or you'll pay later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never went through this with my four boys because they always slept in their own bed or crib. when I had my daughter I breast fed to 14 months, so it was more convenient to keep her in the bed with us. Big mistake. It was very hard to get her to transition to sleeping alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my 6th and last baby, I'm still going to breastfeed but the baby will definitely be in her bassinet. She won't miss what she doesn't know. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There really is no difference with the door being closed in the toddler bed and when they are still in the crib, with the door closed. Either way they are confined to their sleeping space. Note: My daughter's room is right next to mine with paper thin walls. I just peek my head in when I wake up to use the bathroom,  and crack the door around sunrise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no one answer for every family; find out what works for you. For my child it's not traumatizing, she screamed much more the other way. My hubby ended up sleeping on the hard floor all night when we tried that. After she knew the door was closed, she just sort of accepted it, and went to sleep within 5 minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers just want their way. Make sure all their needs are met and routine, routine, routine!  I just put her down for a short nap, while typing this! It takes time though, don't give up parents, good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4790" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2013-09-15T13:27:38.577" LastActivityDate="2013-09-15T13:27:38.577" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8860" CreationDate="2013-09-14T18:46:06.343" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 2011 article in the journal Clinical Lactation (Mohrbacher, Nancy. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dhss.delaware.gov/dph/chs/files/resmohrbachermagicnumber2011.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Magic Number and Long-Term Milk Production&lt;/a&gt;, Vol 2-1, 15-18) explains the physiology behind breast milk production, which is dependent on breast fullness and breast storage capacity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fullness&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Full breasts make milk slower. You want to nurse (or express) before your breasts are full. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drained breasts make milk faster. Encourage baby to nurse fully, or express what's left to empty the breast more throughly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Capacity&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The amount of milk that can be stored by the breast is not related to breast size but rather to the amount of room in the milk-making glands. Capacity affects how long it takes for the breast to become full. A woman with larger capacity can go longer between feedings without cuasing milk production to slow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Magic Number&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mother needs to find the magic number of milk removals needed to keep milk production stable - an issue especially for mothers who are expressing. The number of breastfeedings per day should be fairly stable for the first 6 months, reducing as solid foods are introduced. 8 times per day is average; an individual mother's number may be more or less than this depending on her capacity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The myth of Increased Fluids&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While one should certainly avoid dehydration, studies like this one from 1985 ( Dusdieker et al, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3968608&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Effect of Supplemental Fluids on Human Milk Production&lt;/a&gt;, Journal of Pediatrics) demonstrate that increasing fluid intake does not affect breast milk production.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-09-14T18:46:06.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8889" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-16T04:53:02.353" Score="0" ViewCount="257" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently my daycare in South Carolina sent me a report regarding unattended child incident happened in another room. I am wondering is there a single resource that makes all of those reports accessible to the public? Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4794" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-09-16T19:03:02.237" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T05:57:02.870" Title="Is there a website where I can check reports on issues in a daycare in South Carolina?" Tags="|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8889" CreationDate="2013-09-16T08:33:41.727" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You haven't said where you are located, which makes a difference - there's certainly no global daycare incidence report site but different countries / regions may run their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the UK, any incidents resulting in a child being taken to A&amp;amp;E (ER) have to be reported to Ofsted, the education watchdog. However they &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/article/1166424/exclusive-concern-lack-data-nursery-deaths-injuries&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;do not collate&lt;/a&gt; or centrally record these and they are not generally made available. The nursery's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ofsted inspection report&lt;/a&gt;, a general report on standards at the nursery, would be the closest thing you would get. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-09-16T08:33:41.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8874" CreationDate="2013-09-16T18:54:50.233" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's a clear answer to your question, I think there would be several theories but nobody knows for sure. Children's brains are less developed, and some of humor is definitely learned, however the raw sense of humor that comes genetically is still there. She may be picking up her cue from you, realizing you are doing something funny because you think it is funny, or she may be thinking it's funny all on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-09-16T18:54:50.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8893" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-17T00:13:55.567" Score="6" ViewCount="13696" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first son would cry every night for my wife to come lay with him to go to sleep.  At 3 years old, it continued.....every night.  My son would be put to bed and he would start his whine - &quot;Mommy, come lay with me....Mommy, come lay with me.... &quot; (this was after we spent the time reading a good night story to him)  It was now at the point (a 1.5 years of EVERY NIGHT) where I had to get up and go to his room and tell him he needed to go to sleep and mommy was not going to come lay with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him if he did not stop his crying, I was going to close the door.  He did not stop his crying - so I closed the door.  He then got up and opened the door and started the whole &quot;good night crying program&quot; once again.  I of course went back and closed the door - he got up and started again.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I did what I could to lock the door (a friend of mine told me that he had to lock his son in his room in order to break this bad bedtime crying habit).  I did not have a door on his room that was lockable from the outside - so I tied a series of neckties from the doorknob over to another doorknob. My plan was not to leave him locked in the room all night long - but to get him into an understanding of what sleep-time is supposed to be....Sleep Training - right?  Well, my 3 year old son went out of his mind throwing books and everything he could get his hands on around the room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife felt that this was very cruel and eventually gave in. She continued to get beckoned to his room &lt;strong&gt;every night&lt;/strong&gt; so my son could twiddle her hair in one hand while he had his other hand's thumb in his mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did not think that this was cruel; however, my wife, 14 years later, is still bothered my this. Can someone kindly offer their thoughts? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4797" LastEditorUserId="479" LastEditDate="2013-09-17T14:37:08.347" LastActivityDate="2015-02-03T03:13:23.277" Title="Am I wrong in what I did? Locking a door on a screaming toddler at bed time!" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedroom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8874" CreationDate="2013-09-17T09:02:39.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, a toddler doesn't understand irony. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're right about the levels: The irony is what makes it fun for you, but it's simply the action that makes it fun for her. You're playing with her, you're playing with a doll, you're making lots of noise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To verify this, try this next time: Don't change your behavior but do change the topic (the reason for the doll's &quot;tantrum&quot;). Instead of the doll throwing a &lt;em&gt;don't want to brush teeth&lt;/em&gt; tantrum, make her laugh and squirm because the toothbrush tickles her. I'd be willing to bet that you'd get the exact same reaction from your daughter. Your theatrics simply make it hilarious, regardless of the words and meaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-09-17T09:02:39.607" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8893" CreationDate="2013-09-17T09:15:05.500" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, you're not wrong in what you did. I think your approach made sense. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the problem is rather a lack of agreement between the parents. As DA01 commented, this could be just a &lt;em&gt;symptom&lt;/em&gt; of a deeper underlying disagreement. So instead of looking at this particular issue, try to focus on what might be the root cause underneath it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your post seems to be worded bitterly, so perhaps this has festered in your mind for a good while. I can understand how that makes you feel. This makes it extra difficult to talk about, which is why some counseling is probably a good idea. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess that suggesting counseling in itself is difficult to pose to your wife... not being trained in this, I can only suggest that you accept the blame for the issue, simply to avoid having to argue over who gets the blame - that defuses things and you can focus on getting help. Being confronted with &quot;the D word&quot; can't be helpful, but try to find your old common ground and build on that - get back into the same boat. I wish you all the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-09-17T09:15:05.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8897" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-17T12:41:22.507" Score="4" ViewCount="369" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Nephew is 1.5 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;p&gt;My brother and sister-in-law do not know how to control him in public places, especially in theaters.He may start crying/shouting at his will in such places.&lt;/p&gt;What best can be done to keep children calm in public places, especially in theaters?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4802" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:18:38.970" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:18:38.970" Title="What can be done to control a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|socialization|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8893" CreationDate="2013-09-17T12:44:15.470" Score="6" Body="&lt;h2&gt;The Situation in General&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all experiment with different methods when we first begin to parent. Sometimes you play with lines that should never be crossed. Sometimes you do things in the best interest of the child's &lt;strong&gt;future&lt;/strong&gt; health and well being, even though it may not seem advantageous, helpful, or healthy in the present. While I can't speak to locking a child into a room, as I'd be more inclined to believe that to be borderline abuse, I also disagree with mama that she would give in to the child's demands to have someone present. That is &lt;em&gt;also&lt;/em&gt; abuse, but in a different form.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;A Note On Bedtime&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key to bedtime and fussiness is to diffuse the situation. Children pick up on an escalated situation and parental frustration and they can, amazingly, target those emotions until they are ultimately the winner. You have to stay calm and also be commanding at the same time. Gaining and keeping the upper hand all night, even after you have gone to bed, is key to everyone having a good night sleep. Methods may vary, but you must establish ground rules and you must be consistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife or I put our daughter to bed every night, until she goes to sleep. In the beginning we had plenty of issues. For a while she would still think it was playtime and try to bounce around on the bed. We stayed consistent, told her to lay down, and when she wouldn't, we would make her (physically). Now, several months later, we tell her to lay down and within minutes she is out like a light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We learned to not get mad. You have to put yourself in the mindset of a child. Escalating an already tense situation could:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give bedtime a negative aura&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Will&lt;/em&gt; force you to lose the control.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Your Issues&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should seek some counseling for the relationship with your wife. It's not healthy in all honesty. It's especially unhealthy when things like this situation, which you are obviously bothered about because otherwise you wouldn't bring it up in a public forum, are &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; being discussed in your household 14 years after the fact. This situation should have been water under the bridge the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should have admitted you were wrong (I believe it was, sorry just my opinion, but that's part of discovering how to parent, you have to be wrong sometimes), apologized to your son, and your son only, and that should have been that. On the same token, the enabling from mama should also have stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parenting in general is always a tough choice and unfortunately, trying to get two different people, from two different backgrounds and experiences to stay on the same page is difficult. Please, seek some sort of counseling and handle these issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-09-17T12:44:15.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8897" CreationDate="2013-09-17T12:54:34.483" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, in my opinion, get a babysitter for things like a theater outing. Or give up theater night. A theater is no place for a child, much less one of such a young age. Children at that age don't understand reasoning and logic yet, so they can't understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they need to be quiet, despite their extreme boredom and frustration. Children need attention and a place like a theater is not conducive to &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, you have to let things go for the sake of your children. If that means giving up a little afternoon show, then so be it. They are parents. It's no longer about either their entertainment or their social life. It's about a commitment to a child. They should go to the theater when they have secured a babysitter or go individually while the other stays home or takes the little one somewhere more acceptable for that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as other places. The disciplinary method they use should be up to them, but they must stay consistent with the approach, and they should never, I repeat &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; give into the screaming and crying if it's because he is not getting his way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2013-09-17T12:54:34.483" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8867" CreationDate="2013-09-17T13:06:47.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In daycare, kids see another kids using the potty. I guess that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids also started using the potty more often in daycare. We also offered M&amp;amp;M's for poops in the potty. However, our boy wasn't comfortable pooping in the potty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bought a toilet seat reducer (that we called &quot;little zero&quot; in portuguese) and after seeing that we also used the &quot;big zero&quot;, he was able to try the &quot;little zero&quot;. We told him that using the toilet was big boy stuff and we cheered a lot.  He never used the potty again since he tried the toilet seat reducer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it worths a trial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4762" LastActivityDate="2013-09-17T13:06:47.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5917" CreationDate="2013-09-17T21:42:18.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I fully agree with the post above. I have a fairly average sized baby girl, and at 4 weeks, she was getting her knees and sleepsuits scratched on the bottom of the top seat (it also has a strip of very unhelpful velcro placed there, which makes matters worse), and at 11 weeks, she doesn't fit into at all, and screams blue murder if ever I try to put her in it, as the top seat is making it impossible for her to bend her legs (any baby s natural sleeping position), as it cuts into them.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I also complained to P&amp;amp;T, and got the exact same response as the one above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to get a double pushchair (OutnAbout Nippers is good and good value), hold on with a single and a babycarrier, or if you can afford it, go for another kind of inline like the Babyjogger Cityselect. Or, buy a P&amp;amp;T, but accept you will only be able to use it once your little one is about 6 months old!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4805" LastActivityDate="2013-09-17T21:42:18.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8902" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8903" CreationDate="2013-09-17T21:45:39.083" Score="37" ViewCount="6795" Body="&lt;p&gt;I spoke on the phone to an old acquaintance, and he confessed the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His second child was born half a year ago, the first child is now three. He goes to work, while his wife stays home with the children. He loves his children deeply and wants to spend time with them. But their activity and noise overwhelms him and causes him stress. He feels he can no longer relax at home, and after a weekend with his family he feels relieved when he can go back to work on Monday. He is deeply ashamed and sad about his feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately I live too far away from him to understand what's behind this problem or how it could be solved. Of course you are in the same position, but maybe some of you have experienced something similar and witnessed a solution or at least understood the cause. I'd be happy about your feedback, as I would like to make some helpful suggestions to that poor man.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2015-11-20T12:46:54.513" LastActivityDate="2017-03-02T08:57:02.523" Title="The noise of his children playing makes a parent tired and glad to leave for work" Tags="|parents|noise|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8902" CreationDate="2013-09-17T22:52:46.537" Score="53" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Being a father of 2 kids in the same age range and having been switching from an on-site job to a home-office for the past 2 years, I can relate a little bit...&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Exhaustion Comes With the Job&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's anything wrong with your friend's state of exhaustion. It's a known issue for all parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=2013-06-07&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/IrSWl.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Blues 2013-06-07&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the time of this writing, &lt;strong&gt;I haven't had a refreshing holiday or even a week-end in more than 4 years now.&lt;/strong&gt; There weren't many occurrences of these events to begin with, and they weren't relaxing or refreshing or replaining. I'm not saying I haven't had a fun times, but they all left me even more depleted than I was prior to these supposedly &quot;relaxing&quot; times. You either are full-time parenting, or fixing things that have needed to be fixed for, well, the times before the first pregnancy (you know, that distant memory of a life you had), or you do whatever thing you &lt;strong&gt;have to&lt;/strong&gt; to do, but you don't really kick back and relax.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occasionally you manage to have both kids take a nap at the same time and you indulge in your own nap-time or maybe attempt to read 3 pages of a book before you doze off, but it's only to then feel guilt because you haven't done anything useful with that &quot;free&quot; time instead of using it to relax. It's normal, it comes with the &quot;job&quot;, and obsessing over it just makes it worse. So your friend should just embrace it and accepts it's how things are now: it makes it a lot easier once you get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Or Does It?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't have to feel that way though. It's hard to snap out of it, but it's up to you really to make things work right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's up to you to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;make time&lt;/strong&gt; for yourself, your partner, and your kids;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;enjoy&lt;/strong&gt; these times instead of suffering from them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;You Can't Really Run And You Can't Really Hide&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, while I don't think I ever experienced the desire to go to work to get away from my kids, I'admit that I did occasionally feel that way when time came to &lt;strong&gt;leave&lt;/strong&gt; the office: I'd think that staying later at the office was actually less tiresome than going home and having to deal with shopping, sorting out the mess, putting them to bed, etc... Because it honestly was less tiresome. But, it's also not a fair thing to do to my significant other who was either at home with the kid (&quot;only&quot; one at the time) or coming home from uni. You can rationalize it in a number of ways (&quot;I did that many shopping days, bed-time stories, and bla bla bla on top of my 80-hour week and this and that...&quot;), but you're in the same boat so you just get over it and go home. Maybe you procrastinate or do actual work for an extra half-hour than you'd have done if the situation was different, but you don't &quot;hide away&quot;. Ok, maybe you do it once in a while, but it's a bit like that nap you stole on a sunny Sunday afternoon: it doesn't feel quite right anyway - as your friend already experiences - and it's not something that should be a habit, as you wouldn't want your significant other to take that habit the other way around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite likely, you want your significant other to occasionally do this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=2000-11-05&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yhAXT.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Blues 2000-11-05&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, working from a home office is a slightly different situation, but it relates even more to the cause of your friend's problem: the noise. It's fairly difficuly already to work from home and take care of the kids at the same time if you don't have a caretaker and the kids don't go to nursery (for various reasons depending on country, culture, or what-have-you). If at all possible as you can imagine that handling 2 kids while working makes working a full shift a bit of challenge. But even when you are not taking care of them they do produce a, ahem, fair share of noise and distraction. And it's exhausting, like any noisy environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are all different, and some are definitely noisier than others, but you can expect most of them to drain your energy rather quickly. Actually, it's not so much that they drain it, because if you don't actually do anything they'll still exhaust you. It's more that they drown your energy with theirs. You know, while they run around every where, scream, throw up, repeat a catch-phrase 100 times and do these other things they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, back to my point... Now when I have to go back on-site, while I don't look forward to it, I surely do enjoy the trade-off and try to see the positive thing in both. When on-site, I enjoy the relative peace and quiet I get, and that I can focus more easily on work and I try to make the best of this time to get things done, even though that implies that the exhaustion comes from work instead of family over that period. And when I'm at home with the little monsters^Wones I appreciate that I can see them grow up and that before I always thought I was missing out on these things. I had to go back to work right after my first kid was born and worked long hours, and I'm sure every parent hates leaving in the morning before their kids wake up and coming back home after they've gone to bed. Sure, it's quiet, but there's something not quite right there either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's about seeing the glass half-full in both situations, and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you're friend doesn't off-load his parental duties on someone else (too often) and loves his kids, then I don't think he's got to worry about anything. Being exhausted - physically, mentally and nervously - is perfectly normal, and longing for a time off is as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Schedule and Prioritize&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another suggestion could be to try to look back at his and his family's weekly routine and try to optimize it - without obsessing over it! - and see if they can grab 10 or 20 minutes here and there of &quot;private&quot; time, or if they can't get a friend or family to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that for more than 2 years we were far from family and didn't have many friends around and it was basically one of these times where you can't offload much (and nurseries were private and too expensive where we were, and so were caretakers), so it was pretty much just us. And it's hard. But once you have friends and family who can give a hand, don't feel ashamed to ask occasionally, and be sure to respect that help in making the best of the time they give you (by making it either productive or relaxing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many &quot;mistakes&quot; we did as parents. They're more &quot;rites of passage&quot; than &quot;mistakes&quot;, really, so just look at them this way. Off the top of my head, crazy stupid things we sometimes did included:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spending too much time doing chores (cooking, dishwashing, ironing...) that weren't absolutely necessary. Once in a while, a frozen meal is OK.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not planning in advance enough. If you pick up the kids from nursery and then you run around the clock to shop and cook and put them to bed, it's going to be tiresome. There are things you can prepare ahead of time. Food, for instance, can be prepared in batches.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not knowing when to ask for help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not using time-outs effectively.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not going out to meet friends because we're afraid it's going to be too exhausting with the kids. Yes, it will be, but chit-chat and time with developed human beings is great for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not doing sports.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Letting small things pile up. That bill you've got to pay, this thank-you note you need to write (I hereby sort of apologize for the dozens of people who never got theirs, but not really. I was swamped. Get over it.) or this door hinge you need to tighten.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pattern in those is that they're all errors in prioritizing on the longer run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways, until you can work on fixing things, take a deep breath and:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Calm_and_Carry_On&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/V2i2F.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Keep Calm and Carry On. And Buy Noise-Cancelling Headphones!&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Comic strips courtesy of &lt;a href=&quot;http://babyblues.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Baby Blues&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Keep Calm and Carry On&quot; courtesy of the British Government, probably.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2013-09-20T00:45:42.160" LastActivityDate="2013-09-20T00:45:42.160" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8904" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8912" CreationDate="2013-09-18T06:10:37.010" Score="7" ViewCount="496" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a kid, 13 years old, male. He is very talented in musical instruments, especially viola.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently he was asked to perform in a wedding event, along with other kids ( his cousins). He was very enthusiastic when the event organizer communicated the desire to have him on stage for performance, and he volunteered himself to be the head of the performance group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was happy to see that he was willing to commit himself and to take a leading role. So I just let him be, let him arrange the time of practice, let him does the song selection, let him decides what to wear etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few days passed, and there was no news on his part. So I went up to ask him what preparation he did thus far. He said he hadn't prepared. I then reminded him to call his group members together and start practicing immediately, lest they didn't have enough time later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few days more passed, and there was no practice still. I was getting worried. I don't want to force him to start practicing, and I don't want to manage him by calling for meetings and setting practice sessions; for the sake of his development, it is far better if he himself can take the initiative to drive the practice sessions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kid is an optimistic chap with a tendency to overestimate his own ability. He told me not to worry as he could manage it well. But the last time I saw it, he was also this optimistic and in the end, the optimism caused him to blow his performance up, right on the stage. He was very upset over this and vowed never to let it happen again. But now, he seems to have forgotten all these embarrassing experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that he can't be held accountable for his action. What can I do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4496" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:18:01.950" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:18:01.950" Title="How to hold my kid accountable for his actions?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|development|teen|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8905" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-18T07:10:34.670" Score="2" ViewCount="202" Body="&lt;p&gt;Age: 3 months&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't wish to wait for her to cry whenever she needs food.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the signs other than crying which indicate that the infant is hungry?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T21:41:16.160" Title="What are the signs other than crying which indicate that the infant is hungry?" Tags="|infant|health|food|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8906" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8909" CreationDate="2013-09-18T07:13:40.103" Score="14" ViewCount="1932" Body="&lt;p&gt;What kind of impact (permanent or temporary) can parental quarrels have over a child on the short-term and on the long-term?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish to know if some studies have been done on the matter. Answers with references will be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2013-09-18T12:17:05.420" LastActivityDate="2017-10-23T13:41:24.140" Title="What kind of impact have parental quarrels on children?" Tags="|infant|behavior|parents|adult-child|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8908" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-18T08:45:42.043" Score="2" ViewCount="740" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother (age: 37) is least attached to our parents. At the time of his birth, our parents had left him with our grandmother. He saw our parents, for the first time, at the age of 3 years. He has lived with them after that till his high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could that be one of the reasons for detachment?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What is an ideal age duration for a permanent bonding to happen between the parents and their children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-09-18T08:58:38.060" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T16:10:23.607" Title="What is an ideal age duration for a permanent bonding to happen between parents and child?" Tags="|parents|working-parents|adult-child|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2013-10-08T11:23:07.487" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8906" CreationDate="2013-09-18T10:51:29.873" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't find a great deal of hard-data on this particular topic (impact of parental fights on children), but I do find a lot of resources on the short-term and long-term effects of parental divorce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it may be arguable that parental divorce is a &quot;petty issue&quot;, I'm sure it can be agreed that there's a link somewhere between the quarrels and the more radical (and probably also more traumatizing) step that is the divorce or the separation of the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I also find a ton of sites and blogs covering the matters of parental quarrels, fighting in front of kids, etc... But none that seem to back their hypotheses with any sufficient data, so I won't include them here. For instance, this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/parents-fighting&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; mentions &quot;new research&quot; but doesn't quote or source anything, and it tends to be often like these, so I'd dismiss most of that as without any valid claims.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;On the Impact Parental Quarrels:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0890856709653879&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Coping with Parental Quarrels&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/352145?uid=3738016&amp;amp;uid=2&amp;amp;uid=4&amp;amp;sid=21102629461651&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The effects of Parental Marital Violence on Young Adults&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;On the Impact of Parental Divorce &amp;amp; Separation&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1984-08016-001&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Impact of Parental Divorce on Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Effects of Parental Divorce on Children&lt;/em&gt; [&lt;a href=&quot;http://adc.bmj.com/content/66/8/915.full.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;PDF&lt;/a&gt;]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/fam/7/1/91/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Long-term effects of parental divorce on parent-child relationships, adjustment, and achievement in young adulthood&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2307/353132&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parental divorce and adult well-being: A meta-analysis&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2307/2657325&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Effects of parental divorce on mental health throughout the life course&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; [&lt;a href=&quot;https://jscholarship.library.jhu.edu/bitstream/handle/1774.2/911/Cherlin_1997.pdf.txt&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;TXT&lt;/a&gt;]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a more complete list of resources, see:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=impact+of+parents+fighting+on+children&amp;amp;btnG=&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=1%2C5&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=impact+of+parents+fighting+on+children&amp;amp;btnG=&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=1%2C5&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=impact+of+parental+divorce+on+children&amp;amp;btnG=&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=1%2C5&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=impact+of+parental+divorce+on+children&amp;amp;btnG=&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=1%2C5&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=2013-07-05&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Uw5J6.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Blues 2013-07-05&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Image courtesy of &lt;a href=&quot;http://babyblues.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Baby Blues&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;A Personal Witness Account&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I stress that this being personal and unsubstantiated and in no way qualifying as research or hard-data, it is to take with the same care as the blogs or sites I criticize above for lack of due process and research data. I Ain't A Psychologist, and I'm not a published scholar in this area either. Plus for all you know I may not have kids or know these people.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have, probably like anybody, a number of acquaintances in my circle who are going through difficult family times. This won't count as hard data so it is to take with a grain of salt, but in some cases I've noticed very drastic changes in a child's behavior do to parents quarrel. I assume this may change from child to child based on their previous upbringing, and on their age as well, and that it will depend on various other factors (intensity of fights, recurrence, etc...). However, what I can say is that I've noticed these children to be more sensitive and more prone to overreact to tense situations, and have a stronger tendency to be also more extreme in their expressions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose one can surmise that as they see violence or exhuberance in adult communication, they integrate it as normal and will resort to this, and that they will want to attract attention in some cases and use these parental tensions to their advantage in others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I Ain't A Psychologist or Therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2013-09-18T11:48:52.123" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T11:48:52.123" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8905" CreationDate="2013-09-18T11:24:47.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 3 months they don't actually have many ways to communicate. Crying isn't an emotional problem for babies - they cry to communicate pretty much any form of discomfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may see your baby try to nuzzle for milk if you are holding her, or she may curl up or arch her back if she has a hungry stomach, but the simplest route is to learn the different types of crying noise she makes and respond when she cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T11:24:47.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8905" CreationDate="2013-09-18T11:30:17.977" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crying's a clear sign, but also be on the lookout for your baby...:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;trying to suck on her hands,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making suction noises or opening her mouth (especially if you reach for her),&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;getting wiggly or agitated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I want to point out that at 3 mo your infant doesn't have that many abilities in terms of communication... They don't move much, they don't nuance cries, they don't talk. They basically &lt;strong&gt;feel&lt;/strong&gt; lots of things but have a very limited range of (also limited) tools to express them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about the crying: it's just the same as you calling the waiter at the restaurant and saying &quot;please&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just make sure to react accordingly, and they'll calm down quickly. If they don't, it probably wasn't the right reaction. &lt;sup&gt;(Though it's not even guaranteed as they don't always know themselves what they expect - which is another issue, but that happens - or can understandably remain upset for a little while)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2013-09-24T21:41:16.160" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T21:41:16.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8904" CreationDate="2013-09-18T11:32:05.730" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think being held accountable is not the right phrase or approach here. what you are hoping for is to encourage him to take responsibility and look ahead, but he isn't self-motivating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have obviously tried giving him freedom to self motivate, but that has not worked at this stage, so you need to now take control. One option is to tell him he won't get to play if he doesn't start practicing with the group.And be firm about this - he may say it's treating him like a child, but your response should be that until he can self motivate like an adult you will just have to keep treating him like a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an important part of learning: help them understand that it is a two sided agreement. You can give freedom and treat them like a grown-up, but they have to respect expectations and self-motivate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T11:32:05.730" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8906" CreationDate="2013-09-18T12:33:52.793" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In answering this, you are better considering a comparison between the quarrelling and the realistic alternative to it, not just the bickering in isolation. Here's how I'll define the situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parents can't stop bickering, criticizing, squabbling, and putting each other down. The children are learning that this is how relationships work. They also feel criticized if they hear squabbling over something that involved them (you shouldn't have bought that toy, taken the child to that place, been late, etc). While there's no hitting, there is a constant stream of negativity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine three cases:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;there isn't much good in the relationship, just bad, and the parents separate. The children no longer witness the fighting, which is good. However they see each parent less than they did before, and probably have less money than before. In most cases I've seen, the separation is an overall improvement for everyone, which is a measure of how unpleasant the squabbling was.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the parents get counselling and learn to speak to each other more respectfully, and to moderate the sniping and complaining in front of the children. The children learn that there is more than one way to handle a problem, and that it's possible to learn and grow. They probably also learn whatever techniques their parents have just learned. This is a great outcome but most likely cannot be done singlehandledly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the parents continue to bumble along appearing to entirely dislike each other, but not separating. Perhaps one parent says something to the children about it from time to time, perhaps not. Over time, whatever was behind the squabbling (a shortage of money, not enough time to relax, worries over someone's health) goes away and the parents end up in a better place. The children may be completely messed up about relationships, or they may learn that patience and perseverance are good qualities. They will certainly learn that things can change over time. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is, it's not &quot;stop squabbling, you're wrecking your children.&quot; Because in some ways, we're all wrecking our children, by pushing them too hard or not pushing them or giving them too much on a silver platter or not giving them enough or being a doormat or being a perfectionist or whatever.  The real question is, has this got so bad and so unfixable that I would be wrecking them less if we separated, or can we just muddle along? Or can I use worry about the children as a way to persuade my spouse to join me in making things better (for all of us) by getting counselling? Because if &quot;just don't argue so much&quot; was an option, doubtless the parents would have already chosen it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T12:33:52.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8914" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-18T14:22:00.393" Score="4" ViewCount="415" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son likes to play with other kids, but he's shy and will usually join someone else in their game and not initiate. That is fine with us, the problem is that English is his second language, and he seems to be afraid of opening his mouth and speaking it. He's much more relaxed when speaking his mother tongue, although we know he understands everything in both.&#xA;We try to encourage him to have play dates with English speaking friends, but he chooses older kids (multi age group) who don't always want to meet him outside school. We simply can't convince him to name other friends, even though he's very jealous of his older sister's play dates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4769" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:19:40.803" LastActivityDate="2018-01-13T09:06:03.640" Title="how do I help my 4.5 year old socially?" Tags="|pre-schooler|language-development|bilingual|social-development|socialization|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8867" CreationDate="2013-09-18T15:36:00.520" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried to let him walk around the house naked? That way he can see and feel when he's missing on the floor (when that happens, simply say - &quot;oh, you peed on the floor, next time you can do it in the potty&quot;, clean it and don't make a fuss), being naked at home also means he'll be naked while sitting on the potty.&#xA;I think the best time for this approach is while the weather is still nice and warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4769" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T15:36:00.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8902" CreationDate="2013-09-18T16:06:27.230" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;After I posted this question this morning I went to work and had some time to think about the problem of being exhausted by one's kids. I don't experience my fatherhood in exactly this way, and there is one thing that I do that helps me to not feel &quot;used&quot; and &quot;sucked dry&quot; by my son during the time that we spend together:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of attempting to be a good playmate to my son and make him happy, I take him along when I do what makes me happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I give my son about an hour each day on weekends and half an hour on weekdays being his devoted playmate. These 30 to 60 minutes I do and play as he wants: on my knees, pushing matchbox cars; in the sand, building roads and cities; swinging a sword and defending our castle; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rest of the time I either do household chores. Or I do what I enjoy doing. It is on purpose that I don't do household chores in the evening when my son is asleep or on days that he is away visiting his friends. I try to keep those times free for myself. When I do household chores, I ask my son if he wants to help me. Most of the time he actually helps me hang or fold the washing, cook, clean or do the shopping. From my perspective this is quality time that we spend together, and you can shape and design this time in any way that you want. Sometimes when we go shopping, we are knights, and he carries his sword to protect me. Or we talk about whatever interests us. It is not a serious and boring time, but at least half fun. And it is important to me that even at his tender age my son does not live in &quot;Hotel Mama&quot; but gets used to doing his share of the everyday chores.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I do what I enjoy, I do this in a way that my son can be part of it and take him along. I like to go jogging, so he can ride his bike and race me to the next crossroads (or stay at home and play alone). I like to go hiking, so I take some sausages and he can cut the branches on which we grill them with my knife. I like to visit my friends, so I take him along and let them entertain him (which he experiences with the same amusement as I watch it). Whatever you like to do, just downtune it so that you child can share your interest, and then don't let having a child stop you from living your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally I think we are trying much too hard to create a childish world for our children. Children grew up in the world of adults for thousands of years. I think our children are clever, adaptable and eager to learn, and will profit from the same treatment – as long, of course, they are not prevented from having their own interests and their own lives, and you take some time and go and share their lives with them. There should be some kind of balance, of course, but being a father or mother does not mean that you need to give up your life for them. In fact it seems to me that those parents that keep up their childless lifestyle even after they have a kid are the most relaxed and most happy, because they are most themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there is friction and conflict and stress in my life, too, but I never forget what my brother and many other parents with older children tell me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your children grow up so very fast, and you will be very sad, once this time when they are small (and stressful) is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my son is six, and sometimes, when I look at photos from his earlier years, I have to cry, because I realize that that person that he was and that I loved is gone forever! Yes, he is not dead, and I love him just as much today, but that incarnation of him has been changed almost beyond recognition. The first time this happened to me, I swore to myself that I would never try to get away from him, and I implemented what I told you about above. I want to savor every minute of what little time we have, and this perspective relaxes me in times of conflict: I feel angry at first, but then I look at him, and I enjoy him! Just like that! He is such a wonder, and it does not matter, that he does not want to sleep but turns the light on and off while I want to relax and read the newspaper. I just stop wanting and am so very glad that he is there. And then I turn on the light and put him to bed and allow him to be angry at me for &quot;never&quot; allowing him to stay up (when actually its two hours past his bedtime and he is so tired that he almost falls asleep while I follow-up-brush his teeth).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some rationalization for my practices (detailed above):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compared to other animals, children are born with almost no instinctual hardwiring. I believe that this enables humans to better adapt to a wide variety of living conditions. Children are born with a vast ability and hunger to learn, and instead of teaching children to adapt to parents that adapt to their children – meaning that they learn to abuse their parents – you might without any guilty conscience &lt;strong&gt;be yourself&lt;/strong&gt; and let your children &lt;em&gt;learn from and adapt to you&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Two years later.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is now eight, and his interests have developed a lot since he was six. Then, he always wanted me to play with him; now he prefers to spend his time with his friends. Then, he enjoyed doing laundry and shopping with me; now he prefers to stay at home and read comics or listen to audiobooks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, his demands on me have decreased drastically. We often sit on the sofa side by side, both reading our own books. But this also means that now, more often than not, I do what I love to do on my own, without him. When he was six, I took him climbing. Now I go climbing while he visits his friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My stress has decreased, but the amount of time that I spend with my son has decreased also. This is both wonderful and sad. As I wrote before: Try to make the most of the short phase that your child wants and needs you. It will be over before you know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2015-11-20T12:44:35.650" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T12:44:35.650" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8908" CreationDate="2013-09-18T16:10:23.607" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Research into attachment disorders like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_attachment_disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;reactive attachment disorder&lt;/a&gt; show that inattentive primary caregivers or sudden changes of primary caregivers under age 3 or so can have permanent effects on a child's ability to bond with future caregivers, no matter how stable the relationship is after that point.  It's something foster and adoptive parents are warned about and trained to handle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that doesn't mean everyone with that kind of instability ends up having attachment issues.  Nor does it mean you can't form a lasting bond with someone you met after age 3.  Nor is a relatively detached relationship necessarily a result of an attachment disorder.  It's just that age 0-3 is when the way you form attachments gets wired into your brain, and it can sometimes be hard to undo if you don't learn it then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put it another way, people with psychological attachment issues have problems bonding with &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt;, not just their parents.  If your brother has other close and lasting relationships with friends or his wife or his own children, it's unlikely the 3 years of being raised by grandparents damaged his ability to bond with your parents, and more likely his detachment is the result of ongoing factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T16:10:23.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8918" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8921" CreationDate="2013-09-18T22:10:38.023" Score="5" ViewCount="373" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old nephew is fully potty trained. However, he is poop shy and refuses to let anyone watch him go poop. Going pee is fine, he practically drags us to the bathroom to watch that show. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't have a problem with holding poop in or anything, he goes just fine all by himself. The problem is he won't tell anyone that he went poop, and then walks around with a dirty bum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we encourage him to tell us he went to the bathroom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4652" LastActivityDate="2013-09-19T09:58:48.110" Title="How to get a 3 year old to inform us he went poop?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2013-09-18T23:27:54.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in Australia, and have been researching what to do in this situation for when we have 3 carseats along the back and how to do the seat belts up on the older children. I spoke to a mum the other day about it who has 3 along the back, and she said when she called up Kidsafe (they provide up to date safety information about carseats etc) the lady told her that seatbelt extenders are unsafe, and that she should leave the seat belts done up and the kids just loosen the belts and slide underneath to get into the seats. Then she just adjusts them back accordingly. I hope that helps you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4809" LastActivityDate="2013-09-18T23:27:54.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8920" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8923" CreationDate="2013-09-19T03:24:09.450" Score="6" ViewCount="1381" Body="&lt;p&gt;OK, I am completely unsure as to where I should ask this obscure question, but there is a quite a bit of questions to help with my girlfriend's current situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, let me start of by saying that I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and I really do care for both her and her daughter. The situation is as follows. My girlfriend came out of a bad relationship of her daughter's father, current ex. The situation was quite bad that they had to rush get her and her daughter away from the ex's house hold, whom he lives with his parents. So, we are all young, around 20 years of age. His entire family, with the exception of one of the kids, are abusive physically and verbally. The ex is like a borderline pedophile because he has told my now current girlfriend that he would like to do a mother, daughter &quot;thing&quot; which I don't know what the hell that means. They left the household for good when the daughter was a little over 1 year of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, what she has to deal with. She cannot get a job because the ex has stolen her state ID and possibly her social security number, verified when she tried applying for welfare she was denied because it was already in use. She filed for fraud and the account was closed. She contacted the SSA for a way of getting a new SSN, but was unable to because there was no proof of fraud. The ex has also taken her daughter's birth certificate and SSN. So, currently she cannot do much for her daughter in regards to anything legal, as far as I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anyway my girlfriend can gain custody over her daughter. She tells me she is in fear of losing her daughter because if she were to ever be taken the police wouldn't do anything because no one person filled for custody. Something along those lines, but don't completely remember. She has tried to get a job, but she needs a state ID and she is literally has no money. She lives with her mother and is only able to get WIC checks. The mother and her family together can live pretty well off. They struggle financially, but is able to provide food and shelter. She is trying to sell her crafts and baked goods to help get some money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ex visit every now and then. He seems to be recently now have an interest in helping my girlfriend and her daughter, so it seems. Sure, he gives her some money, pays for some diapers or baby wipes, but every time he visit he focuses mainly on my girlfriend and sometimes spends time with his own daughter. My girlfriend and I think he is there to try and get back with her, but she hasn't said anything in fear he will threaten to take his daughter away saying that the house is unfit to raise a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The house is not the best or cleanest, but they do try and the recent property was owned by a hoarder and compared to how it was. It looks A LOT better. The daughter has a food everyday and is safe as I know. She has never gotten hurt due to the house not being safe, but rather her falling from rough play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some things my girlfriend can do? She doesn't know I posted this and I am doing this because I really do love her and her daughter and I want to be able to help her out however I can, but I only know so much and don't know what to do in a situation like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** If any more info is needed please say so and I will add more if need be. **&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance for anyone willing to help her out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4810" LastActivityDate="2013-09-19T17:59:26.707" Title="What can my girlfriend do for her daughter?" Tags="|single-parent|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8918" CreationDate="2013-09-19T09:58:48.110" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just had the exact same problem (the first we'd know was some brown marks on rug in the bathroom). For us, we were able resolve it with&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a reward chart with a star whenever he told us he'd been and,&#xA;importantly, told us &lt;strong&gt;before&lt;/strong&gt; he sat down somewhere! Once he'd&#xA;managed five in a row he got a small treat. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lots of praise when he did tell us and didn't sit down&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we have a small-ish house, so if he did go to the bathroom we could hear and when he didn't tell us anything, we could ask him. He wouldn't get the star then, but it'd give me an opportunity to explain about the stars again!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3904" LastActivityDate="2013-09-19T09:58:48.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8922" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8927" CreationDate="2013-09-19T14:28:29.473" Score="4" ViewCount="2226" Body="&lt;p&gt;Currently, I store my cloth diapers in a dry pail. Every two days or so, I need to wash the diapers. I put about 10-20 cloth diapers through two wash cycles: a COLD wash, then add other clothes to fill up the washer and do another COLD wash. The function of the first COLD wash is to rinse the diapers of most of the urine and poop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason that I do two washes is based on what some websites recommend, e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diaperjungle.com/washing-cloth-diapers.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to wash cloth diapers&lt;/a&gt; says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Send your diapers through two cycles - a COLD/COLD wash or a COLD rinse or soak, and a HOT/COLD wash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering if it is a good idea to just put 10-20 cloth diapers through a COLD wash of a High Efficiency washer, and to hang them up to dry. I use about 2 tablespoons of baking soda and half the regular detergent because it's such a small load of laundry. If I could put the diapers through only a single wash, this would save time and money on my part. However, would the cloth diapers be clean after just a single wash cycle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:19:09.643" LastActivityDate="2013-12-21T15:52:30.523" Title="Do I need to put cloth diapers through two wash cycles?" Tags="|hygiene|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8920" CreationDate="2013-09-19T17:59:26.707" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not an attorney so I can't give legal advice, but this is a topic near and dear to my heart and I think she can do more than she realizes and I think there are organizations that could help her and she just doesn't know it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, if he has her state ID and her SSN, he has effectively stolen her identity.  And if he's used it (like he did to get welfare) then he's committed a CRIME!  The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0277-create-identity-theft-report&quot;&gt;Federal Trade Commission&lt;/a&gt; has a whole section of their website dedicated to identity theft.  She needs to check her credit report and make sure he hasn't used her information to also make purchases and get credit in her name.  She can get a credit report from each of the three major credit reporting agencies (TransUnion, Experian, and Equifax) once a year for free (visit &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.annualcreditreport.com/cra/index.jsp&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; link).  I know this seems a little ridiculous since it doesn't actually pertain directly to the question you asked, but she does NOT want to get two years down the road from this and suddenly start getting phone calls from debt collectors for things she's never purchased.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, she needs to protect her daughter's identity.  It sounds like this guy's a scumbag and wouldn't think twice about destroying his daughter's credit once he figures out that he can't use your girlfriend's.  The FTC website I linked to above has good information on how to protect your child's identity, it also had information on SSN theft and some steps she needs to take to get a new social security number and state ID.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, has she spoken with an area battered women's shelters?  Even though they're called &quot;battered women's shelters&quot; they're really there to help women get out of abusive relationships--not all of which are physically abusive.  Even though your gf is all ready out, one of these organizations might be able to help her find out what her legal rights are in California in terms of custody.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-09-19T17:59:26.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8922" CreationDate="2013-09-19T22:19:35.553" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I tried this but found the ammonia smell wasn't washed out of the diapers when dry. I have a high efficiency washer though so it may have a different outcome if you're using a standard top loader (more water!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other variables to consider are how sensitive your kids bum is, type of detergent and how smelly their pee is... YMMV. Why not give it a shot? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4814" LastActivityDate="2013-09-19T22:19:35.553" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8928" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8932" CreationDate="2013-09-19T22:29:55.557" Score="16" ViewCount="1501" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, here's the story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My &lt;strong&gt;ex&lt;/strong&gt;-girlfriend, whom I have an 11 year old son with, had a son before ours with a man who has never seen his son past the age of one. He's now 16. He grew up a generally happy kid (ADHD, but still very bright). But, circumstances that I'm not privy to knowing in the past year, had it so that he stopped taking his medication, he got into some trouble with police, and generally his mother absolutely hates him, doesn't trust him, had the police arrest him, and had a police-assigned psychiatrist come to the conclusion, in a couple hours, that he was also a sociopath. Apparently, he shot his brother, from a distance, with a BB gun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, he went to stay with his 85 year old grandma for about 3 months. As you can well imagine, grandma wasn't equipped to raise a child in today's day and age. He stopped going to school, and was very angry all the time. Grandma had had enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my wife and I offered to take him. So that he would at least pass high school, and generally aimed toward his career choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was since January 2013. Now, September, he's doing pretty alright. However, I still have some concerns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm not able to get him to consistently call us to tell us where he is, even though I provided him the cell phone (but, he does respond 95% of the time when we txt him to ask where he is)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He frequently stays out late... 10:00pm~11:00pm on a school night, is that still late?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is seldom home for dinner, and when he does get home (late), he eats quite a bit&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;often skips a class or two at school, never the whole day, just a class. And not really the whole class... he goes on time, but tends to leave in the middle of class. Teachers mark him absent for this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is most definitely NOT a sociopath, he feels bad for things he does, apologizes for things,  does things to help around the house sometimes without being asked, and doesn't feel sour when he doesn't get what he wants. He had smoked a lot of marijuana, until I convinced him the consequences of letting this drug become a lifestyle. In absence of his ADHD medication (which he fears, because mom had over-medicated him), he says the pot helps calm his nerves. So, I permit it... never in the house, and again, don't let it become a lifestyle. Once in a while, on the weekend, sure. But Don't let it become a lifestyle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to tell myself, &quot;we just need him to graduate. once that happens, he can be on his own, do what he wants, and it's not under my jurisdiction.&quot; So I've been providing him a safe and clean place to stay, dinner and breakfast and such, and basically to live with us so he doesn't have to live with his grandma, or try to reconcile with his mother (who, by the way, won't give me guardianship because she fears it will hurt her claim on back-pay of child support from his birth father, who hadn't paid a cent since his son was born). I hadn't tried to replace any parental figure he has, but really, he has none he can trust or confide in, but us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, my question is two-fold:&#xA; - do I just keep on, not trying to be &quot;dad,&quot; but just give him a safe place to live until he graduates (with any guidance that you guys could offer?)&#xA; - or, do I need to convince him that I'm as good as Dad as he's going to get, to start treating me like one, or else there will be consequences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not very good at all at setting a structured home system. I have generally taken things as they come, and if I at least have forewarning of an opportunity for him to make the right choice, I tell him the consequence for making a wrong choice. But, I have no consistency, and certainly no structure. I know this is likely the problem. But, how do I approach this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for reading. It's a long description, which was required, because really, I don't know what my question really is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="anon" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T20:57:24.877" Title="Too many variables at play -- troubled &quot;son&quot;" Tags="|teen|step-parents|adhd|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8902" CreationDate="2013-09-19T23:15:27.213" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know from my friends and myself that this is not an uncommon situation. Kids at that age are 10% joy and 90% ordeal. I love my kids to bits and do anything for them, but I have to admit that they can really drain whatever energy I have after a day's work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went hiking by myself for 3 days during the summer, while my wife looked after the kids. I love walking and thought that the hike would relax me and make it easier to deal with the kids when  got back, because I would be so chilled out. Within an hour of my return from the 3 day hike, the kids had me more stressed than ever (they were both in a bad mood and screaming and crying about every.litle.thing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not being a troll but I don't understand how some parents want to spend all day with their kids. All-day every-day? Seems like torture to me. Remember I love them dearly but love and annoyance are not mutually exclusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to keep telling myself that it's only 2 years before they go to school. I know we'll look back on these days nostalgically, but when you've played the pirate game for the 100th time, in one hour, anything else seems like a release.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if I'm not working and looking after them for a full day, I am DONE by 12am. The repetition, the shouting, the 'wanting my own way', the screaming, the whines for TV, Snacks, visiting grandparents, the not wanting to get dressed, not wanting to walk to the store, fighting every step of the way...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of the solution is a friend his/her age to play with, that makes a BIG difference. They need interaction and this oldie can't give them the interest or patience they need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;find.a.playmate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="744" LastActivityDate="2013-09-19T23:15:27.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8928" CreationDate="2013-09-19T23:29:11.260" Score="13" Body="&lt;h1&gt;So Far, So Good&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seems to me like given the circumstances, things are already looking up and pretty great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I wouldn't recommend asking him to treat you like a father, because you just aren't his father.&lt;/strong&gt; You do, however, deserve that he treats you with respect just like he should treat other people with respect, and just like he should treat authoritarian figures and people on his side with respect. That last bit is important. You are on his side, and he knows it. It can be tricky to ask of him though, as he's been dumped before by people who were supposed to care for him, so he may try to push to see if you'll do the same and see it as a natural thing. &lt;strong&gt;Just show you won't give up on him, but that you won't be a doormat and actions have consequences.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also attempt to set slightly stricter rules on some key points and discuss them with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Specific Points of Concern&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Out Late - Cause for Concern&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;11pm on a school night is a bit late, yes, I'd say lights should be off by 10 or 11pm (most of the time). It's not just as a way of controlling his whereabouts and by fear of him wandering in dark alleys or whatnot, but I'm more concerned about that setting a pattern that will hinder his learning and prevent him from getting a familiar and regular routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow-up questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is he doing out at that time?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What time does he have to get up for school in the morning?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I'm not too fussed about it, but I'm a bit concerned if that happens way too regularly and if the whereabouts and actions are unknown. Of course you have to establish trust and not spy on him or anything, but at 16 I'd expect him to be home earlier than this. I don't know it is where you live, but where I do at 16 I had homework to do, and my after-school routine was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;getting home&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eating a scary amount of food (my father was shocked to see my brother and I actually &lt;strong&gt;cooking&lt;/strong&gt; meals for ourselves at that age because we were hungrey all the time. Normal teenager biorythm, best to stash lots of food!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;slacking, walking the dog, playing with friends outside, and (later) video games or other things delaying 4.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;homework&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dinner&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;after dinner:&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;movie on 1 or 2 days a week tops if homework is done,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or homework if it isn't done&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bedtime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age I'd occasionally go out with my parents, or on more rare occasions with friends in groups (e.g. for a concerts), but most of the time during the week I'd be home by 8pm (dinner time), except on football training nights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I may stay up late at home, but generally that was only for the occasional movie night or because I was late on my homework or preparing exams (I wasn't the smartest student, nor was I the most studious, and I was kind of slacking off before dinner).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Though, of course, back then some things were less ubiquitous: cell-phones, internet, video games... they were there, but not as much of an integral part of your life. And when they appeared, they took more and more importance on my schedule, so I guess that's another problem if he's home anyways... but that seems better than being out.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hey, I guess he's not out alone and you can tell yourself he's quite social. Not a bad thing in itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Skipping Dinners - Not OK&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seldom home for dinner isn't OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow-up questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What does he eat when he's not home?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How does he afford it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why isn't he home? Does he give a reason? Is it &lt;strong&gt;because&lt;/strong&gt; of the dinner itself (food, atmosphere, memories ...)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dinners are family time. You aren't his parents, and you aren't really his family, but your his &quot;circle&quot;. Dinner is the time to catch up, share what's on your mind, and check up on things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also a good time to bond, whether you want it or not, and a good time to stimulate other development aspects. &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6912045056/hB2546C4F/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Just don't turn it into this&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Phone Stuff - Seems Fine&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The phone-related seems pretty standard and acceptable to me. And good on you for giving him the phone. I had a very good relationship with my parents and they forced me (I have to have been the only kid who had to be forced to be GIVEN a cellphone...) to carry a cellphone when I took up to drive a motorbike. But every time they'd ask me to call when I'd arrive to a destination or something, I'd invariably forget. I don't think that was a lack of respect, just a matter of it being really easy to forget. &lt;strong&gt;As long as he writes back AND also picks up when you call, that's fine. What matters is that you can now he's safe and can trust him to call you if he needs it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Skipping Classes - Not OK&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Skipping classes isn't OK, even one per day, even one per week, even one per month. There's no reason for that, apart from being sick or helping someone else out. I wasn't really top of the class but I never skipped class except for serious medical problems or when I covered for a buddy, and that'd also be a possibly stupid reason. Your conditions are that you give him shelter and try to get him to graduate, so it's up to him to take that seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, skipping classes might have unintended consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow-up Questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why is he leaving in the middle of the class? Boredom? Restlessness? Peer-pressure? You need to find that out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have you verified with teachers that he actually does leave in the middle of classes and that you have the whole story? I suppose you did, but just in case...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have you talked with both him and his teachers about this? What's their take on it, and what consequences will that have? Is he clear on this? In my area, skipping classes would be quickly cause for a temporary exclusion, and then possibly for a more permanent radiation and obligation to be sent to another school, and that's when the real fun would begin...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a personal experience, skipping classes is most of the time a peer-pressure related thing. Others do it, and it's a matter of social status and of the crowd you want to associate with. That's the tricky part of address, as if that's the case he obviously believes he belongs (and WANTS to belong) to these groups. And it's not necessarily groups of &quot;bad-seeds&quot; (many good and relatively quiet students skip classes as well), but the repercussions are not the same for everybody.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a teenager, my parents had a strange rule on that: we don't mind if you skip classes, but we'll mind if we know about it. When I tell that story, most people interpret it as them not caring and not setting rules and giving us a free pass, but the way it was meant was more that they trusted us to be in class, trusted us to have the judgment to skip bullshit classes if we felt it was necessary (because they remembered that not all classes were valuable), but that it shouldn't be done at the expense of another thing: respecting authority. Theirs, and the school system. That it may be broken is one thing, but you won't fix it by being out of it. And, well, also that if you are going to do something, you should do it well - even slacking and not getting caught. However I never thought this was bad advice, and I didn't slack classes and neither did my brother. It was also a way of teaching a sense of responsibility indirectly: deal with YOUR problems, and don't make it OUR problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Some Recommendations&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Sports&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he do any? If not, I'd strongly recommend it takes up some. Which one doesn't matter as much, but if possible something that promotes some social values. Running and athletism will be good to teach you perseverance and other things, but not so much necessarily in lieu of respecting others. A martial art or a team sports will do better at that. On the other hand, relationships are a worry in team sports if his social interactions tend to lead to bad habits (as you mentioned drug use, possible violence and police). So, look up first how the social element plays out in your local sports clubs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in general, I'd say even the worst possible sport you could pick, even with bad instructors and bad teammates, would be a good thing for him. It'd keep him healthy, add more structure to his life, and fill up his schedule so you know where he is and he's not tempted to be anywhere else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surely there must be some sports he's interested in. It's an investment, both financially and time-wise, &lt;a href=&quot;http://pastormark.tv/2013/06/18/7-reasons-why-sports-are-good-for-kids&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;but it's a good one&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Other Extra-Curricular Activities&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything he likes to do? Writing, reading, watching movies, playing video games, etc...?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything that's a positive force in his life is a leverage for you, both because you can have an impact on them as punishment if he strays, but also (and mostly!) because you can use that to push him forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;More &quot;Family&quot; Time&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, you're not his family, but what matters is to develop a mutual bond built on trust, respect, and - hopefully - friendship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you gone on vacations together? Done week-end outings? Gone to see a ball-game, concert, festival?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Psst, Actually &quot;Family Time&quot; is a Head Fake&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have many memories of my childhood when my parents dragged me to things I wasn't particularly interested in. And nowadays, even the things I found annoying at the time are things I'm thankful for, because it gave me perspective on things, and filled my brain with tidbits of information that I found useful later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, &quot;Family Time&quot; is just an educational tool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Build His Self-Worth and Confidence&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you describe, I'd bet that kid would have reasons to have a low self-esteem. Maybe he doesn't show and he's a rugged, maybe he looks confident, but having been displaced from home by his own caretakers (I'm not sure I even want to call them parents at this stage anymore) he probably doesn't feel too good about himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Following the point above, make sure to value the things he does right. A bit like the One Minute Manager teaches you: catch people doing something right, not just doing something wrong!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try to not show that having him is just a social responsibility, a burden or a duty. Get him involved in what you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Get Him a Job&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even a small one. Even a summer job, a part-time thing, or a stupid job at your employer's. Even find him a neighbor's kid to baby-sit occasionally. Even a make-believe job, like asking a friend or neighbor to ask him if he can help with a problem with a computer problem. Surely an old lady somewhere doesn't have a Facebook account and would agree to pretend needing one, or learning to use Word, etc... &lt;sup&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Sorry for the stereotypes and the lack of better scenarios, but you get the idea.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything that gives him responsibilities will be good and relates to the previous point on building his self-worth. It teaches a lot of other things, obviously, but for him I think that's the main point. And again, it will also, as mentioned for other things above, fill his schedule and keep him - by lack of a better expression - &quot;in line&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Keep in Touch with his &quot;Real&quot; Family&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he knows you are trying to keep in touch with them, and for the right reasons. He may not seem to want you to, but he'll probably value that you do, if he doesn't get the feeling that it's to get rid of him (I can't stress that one enough: he's been jerked around and dumped, a pretty strong inner fear for him is probably for that to happen again).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, generally speaking, looks to me like you're doing alright and keeping at what you're already doing seems great. Congrats on an honorable and valuable show of kindness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-10-27T20:57:24.877" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T20:57:24.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8914" CreationDate="2013-09-20T03:03:27.853" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it would help if the kid has some toys or activities he was really proud to show off to his peers.  A really cool gun or some sort of a trampoline or a swing rope. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4827" LastActivityDate="2013-09-20T03:03:27.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8897" CreationDate="2013-09-20T03:07:41.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find iPhone to be quite indispensable with kids sometimes.  There are great picture book apps that a toddler would enjoy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4827" LastActivityDate="2013-09-20T03:07:41.573" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8936" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8937" CreationDate="2013-09-20T06:28:19.190" Score="7" ViewCount="3497" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10-year-old nephew is doing 5th standard schooling. He is normally doesn't do too much, mostly playing video games and watching movies. His education progress is also good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday, I heard about his embarrassing behavior from my sister and she's really worried about it. When I first heard about it, I laughed and then I realized the seriousness of problem. My nephew usually goes to school by school bus. In that bus, he proposed to one girl like &quot;&lt;em&gt;I Love YOU, Say, Yes or NO&lt;/em&gt;&quot;. This is not a one time occurence. He frequently did this 3 times in a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister wants me to talk to him about this. Now I'm not sure what to say to him. I don't want restrict him. I want him to be independent. I want him to be creative and self-assured. How to explain this is not love!?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4831" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-06T12:10:21.020" LastActivityDate="2019-08-06T12:10:21.020" Title="How to handle a 10-year-old boy who has fallen in love?" Tags="|discipline|communication|middle-childhood|extended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="8937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8936" CreationDate="2013-09-20T07:42:55.060" Score="14" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Parents First&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume your sister is the mother. Why isn't she (or his father) talking to him about it? Not that you can't or shouldn't, just feels like it should come from the parents first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus the perspective of a girl would probably be good as well, as she could explain why this situation would make her feel bad if she were the girl being asked like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, assuming that's been done or can't be done for some reason, moving on...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Doesn't Seem That Out of the Ordinary&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 10 years old, probably has no clue what real love is, and is just feeling attracted to a girl. It's not that bad that he's interested in her and showing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could be improved is that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he shouldn't obsess over it or fixate on it,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he should respect the girl's wishes if she turns him down,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he should not ask that as an ultimatum.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just tell him that he probably wouldn't liked to be coerced into a relationship, and that he wouldn't want someone he doesn't &quot;love&quot; to bug him every other day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Plus with so many cheesy teen - or not necessarily teen-oriented - movies out there preaching that perseverence to the extent of stalking is they to winning your dearly beloved's heart, I can imagine the kid's confusion. Maybe he just thinks that's how it's supposed to be.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastActivityDate="2013-09-20T07:42:55.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8897" CreationDate="2013-09-20T07:51:58.843" Score="3" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Toddlers Throw Tantrums and Are Just Noisy&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid's 1.5yo, of course he's noisy, even on a good day. They speak loudly, they interrupt people, and they want to share what they think at what adults would consider inappropriate moments. He doesn't know yet all the social boundaries that adults would consider &quot;normal&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus at this age, of course they'll throw tantrums &quot;at will&quot;. It's their way of showing frustration, or of finding limits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Expect Toddlers to Misbehave&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you don't always have a choice, you shouldn't take a toddler to just any place. And you should know in advance that they will misbehave. It's on the roadmap, it will happen, don't be surprised if it does. They may even behave perfectly fine 95% of the time and then suddenly make your world hell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=2011-07-24&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/RmBuR.png&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Blues - 2011-07-24&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;People are (Generally) Indulgent&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And don't worry too much about it, people are generally indulgent in this regard. Sure, we get pissed and thigh when kids get rowdy on planes or repeat the same thing 57 times, but it's not that bad. Even people who aren't parents are capable of getting on with it without too much effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for those who don't, they probably have a bad day and can't snap out of it, and feel they shouldn't have to deal with your kids. And they're right. But in the end there's just so much you can do, so they'll have to live with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Pick the Right places.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned above, you shouldn't bring kids to just any place. You don't always have a choice: you have to go shopping, have to go work or meet someone, have to go your doctor's appointment, have to go to the DMC or some other administrative office for paperwork, etc... Those are things you can't easily avoid. If you can afford it and have the time to organize it, get a sitter. If you don't, roll with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A movie theather seems like a pretty odd place for a 1.5yo to be... except if we're talking a Sunday morning kid-movie showing. But in that case, it's expected that kids will be loud. If it's not for a kid movie, then it seems like the kid shouldn't be here. You don't take a kid that age to watch movies with you, for everybody's sake: yours, the other movie-goers, and even the kid's. Nobody told you fun time was over? You'll go to the movies again in 6 years or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pro-tip:&lt;/strong&gt; Some countries have a few theaters with &quot;crying rooms&quot;. Basicallly theaters with a sound-proofed area where parents can go with toddlers, prams and be as noisy as they want. Not that great a movie experience for you, but you leave other people in peace. I've seen some at least in Australia. Look for family-friendly places.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Limits&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it doesn't mean they should get a free pass on everything, and that they shouldn't be taught what's acceptable and what's not. But you won't be able to make them just stop right away at this age. So you just need to be firm, say &quot;no&quot; and that it's rude to behave like this in public. Have them look around and notice that people are annoyed by their behavior, and that they keep quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach them that you whisper when you are in some places and when nobody else makes any noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Distractions&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you take a kid to a &lt;em&gt;quiet place&lt;/em&gt;, bring a &lt;em&gt;quiet distraction&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A picture book, a cartoon on a smartphone with muted volume &lt;sup&gt;&lt;em&gt;(works wonders at the doctors' or on trains/planes nowadays, my parents regret they didn't have that for me when I was a toddler!)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;, a etch-a-sketch, a (calm) portable video game, a coloring book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid tiny cars, action mans, or things that will get them too excited and will make them want to share or express their excitement. Bring games or distractions that favor introversion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Be Prepared&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And bring several of those distractions! They get bored fast, or may decide they don't want to play with the toy you picked that day or that they already did enough coloring before. You don't get out unprepared with kids. They'll get bored, and it's your fault if they misbehave, not theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, bring food. A hungry toddler is a fussy toddler. Make it foods that aren't too sugary and won't get them too excited, but still things that they like to it. Make them choose it before you leave, so they know you have them and can ask for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Additional Reading&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just stumbled on this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matt-walsh/dear-parents-you-need-to-control-your-kids_b_3935418.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt;, which I found fitting for this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2013-09-20T12:54:54.310" LastActivityDate="2013-09-20T12:54:54.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8897" CreationDate="2013-09-20T13:43:15.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why should a toddler remain quiet all day?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are learning to use their mouths and explore the world. They have little need/understanding of social norms to keep quiet in the theater - see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8899/18&quot;&gt;@ChristopherW&lt;/a&gt;'s answer for how to handle that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's kind of worrying when you see someone asking &quot;how can I make a child to do what I want them to do instead of what they keep doing&quot; and expecting instant or long-lasting results. There are many stages to child development when certain activities become possible or temporarily impossible - e.g. a toddler will sit in a high chair to eat dinner, but a 2.5 year old will want to run off and play instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-09-20T13:43:15.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8922" CreationDate="2013-09-20T14:20:47.013" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since first rinse is only done to wash out urine and poop, and later you wash it again more thoroughly with clothes, you don't really need any detergent for that first wash. Baking soda is enough of a detergent to do the job any way...&#xA;I used to rinse off any poop left on the diapers (what slipped off the liners) and then simply throw them in with the clothes, but that caused ammonia build up so I started giving them a rinse cycle before adding the clothes, using only baking soda - that did the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4769" LastActivityDate="2013-09-20T14:20:47.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8928" CreationDate="2013-09-20T15:31:55.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I think you're doing a great job all things considered!  Look at it this way:  before you took him in, he was skipping school altogether, getting in trouble with the police and he's not doing that anymore.  From what you say, he sounds like a sweet, bright kid.  I agree with haylem that you cannot expect to step in at this point and become his &quot;Dad&quot; although in later years he may view you as Dad (my parents essentially raised my cousin, and, even though he was EXTREMELY troubled, to this day my cousin views my dad as his father-figure).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to add a couple of things:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The cell phone issue:  If he responds to texts then I wouldn't worry too much if he's not answering when you call.  I think this is very common in teenagers now.  Most of my high school students didn't even have minutes on their cell phones because they never used it for talking on the phone, or they had very few specifically for emergencies.  But they DID have unlimited texting packages on their phone because that's how they communicate.  If there's a &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; emergency that requires him, you can always text him saying that there's an emergency and you need him to call you immediately.  He clearly receives the text messages.  If it's really important to you that he answers when you call him, then you need to have that discussion with him.  And assure him that the &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; reason you're going to call him is if you absolutely need to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's your house and your rules, but, to me, self-medicating with pot is not acceptable.  If he didn't have ADHD and he didn't have some emotional issues that seem to need dealing with, I would say allowing limited access to pot probably isn't a big deal, but there are so many people out living on the street who tried to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol when really what they needed was support and guidance.  There's a reason why kids with learning disabilities and emotional problems turn to pot (besides the fact that it's so easily accessible) because it's a depressant and it numbs them and makes it so they don't have to deal with their issues.  Now, I am &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; saying that you need to send him to rehab or start making phone calls to counselors for him.  I am saying that he is 16 years old and he needs to start learning to take responsibility for his health and well-being.  As a child with a learning disability, he needs to learn to self-advocate because, as you said, once he graduates he's on his own.  I think you need to sit him down and delicately tell him that it's time the two of you worked together to find a better way of him dealing with his ADHD.  And he's going to get scared because you're asking him to drop his current coping mechanism.  Re-medicating might be the answer for him.  There are TONS of ADHD medications out there and he doesn't have to feel like a zombie all that time.  He's completely justified being scared about taking medication.  There are also many ways to learn to cope with ADHD without being medicated, but it takes &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt; of work and a willingness to do whatever it takes.  It's especially difficult with teenagers who have not learned those coping mechanisms as a child.  My concern for him is:  what happens when he graduates, is turned loose into the real world, and, suddenly, smoking pot isn't enough to help him deal with the stresses of being an adult and being responsible for himself?  What does he turn to then?  Alcohol?  Pills?  Stronger drugs?  Finding a doctor who he really trusts and who is committed to listening to him, helping him, and finding a functional solution for him is the only way that's going to work, and that's going to be really hard.  He's been burned a lot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The fact that he's randomly leaving class is a little worrying.  Is he leaving class at the same time everyday?  I've had students do that who had standing appointments in the bathroom with their drug dealers, their friends, their boyfriends/girlfriends, etc.  Does he find the class he's leaving too difficult and he just can't cope with the class?  I'm sort of perplexed by the whole thing.  Around here, students are not allowed to leave class without permission without some kind of serious consequence.  As a teacher, if a student walked out of my class that was a sign of major disrespect.  Maybe that's not the case where you are.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Absolutely find that boy a job!  Teenagers want to earn their own money--even the ones whose parents/guardians have money and they don't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to work per se.  They are &lt;em&gt;so&lt;/em&gt; proud of themselves when they get that first job.  Give him that responsibility of having people rely on him and of having a manager or a boss tell him good job.  Let him decide what jobs he wants to apply to.  I have lots of former students who have actually made successful careers out of that first job they got in high school, or who have helped put themselves through post-secondary schooling with that high school job.  Let him do what he wants with the money, but encourage him to make good decisions with it.  Many people could make the argument that you could make him to pay for his own cell phone or whatever, but I think at this point you need to dole out the responsibility slowly--start with focusing with just getting to work on time and doing a good job while he's at work.  You want him to enjoy this job and learn from it--not make it a burden or a point of stress.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are a wonderful person.  There aren't many people who would offer to take in a troubled teenager and it sounds like things are on the upswing for him.  Teenagers can be intimidating, but they appreciate it when you speak to them bluntly and honestly.  Positive karma points for you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-09-20T15:31:55.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8928" CreationDate="2013-09-21T06:19:32.157" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seems that you didn't sign up for any of this, nor did your wife. But you're doing what you think is best for an individual that needs it. I'm not going to try to address the specific points, but to give one point of foundational advice based on what you've written:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;He has no family. Be his family.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The easy part:&lt;/strong&gt; Consider his maternal unit out of the picture. Consider his 85 yo grandmother as an 85 yo grandmother. You know, invite her for Saturday dinners, go over there on Thxgiving and Xmas day, stuff like that. Make it as family as possible. Consider that he is 16 and you've known him for &amp;quot;a while&amp;quot; . . . he may call you &amp;quot;James&amp;quot;, and you may not be the paternal unit, but you are dad as you have helped form his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The hard part:&lt;/strong&gt; Unless you see a reason to let go after graduation, I don't think that's really necessary. If you want to help him thru this part of his life, then get on with your own, nobody can fault you for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it sounds like you might be trying to follow some kind of unwritten script. Just because he graduates that doesn't mean you have to suddenly go hands-off.* As a matter of fact, socially, I think that would be about the worst time to do it. *&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;HS Graduation is a 1-time event in everyones life&lt;/strong&gt;, and there's... dude... I can't express how much rides on that time in a persons life and people don't really realize it. It's the end of innocence, of childhood, it's the beginning of adulthood. It's also a time when society expects people to stop being a child while at the same time not letting them be an adult. It's frustrating and exhilarating. And on top of everything else, he will no longer have any kind of legal responsibility or obligation from his maternal unit (after 18).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;One thing that everyone knows, but nobody says out loud: &lt;em&gt;In middle class America, there is a ONE WAY PORTAL thru which high school graduates pass.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; You are right to try to shepherd him to it. If he doesn't graduate, he'll never pass thru it. A GED is a legal equivalency that bears the legal weight, but has stigma. Employers will take a 19 yo graduate over a 19 yo + GED every time. &lt;strong&gt;He needs to know this.&lt;/strong&gt; It needs to be said out loud that even if he does get a GED that his opportunities &lt;em&gt;will be limited.&lt;/em&gt; Fair or not, that's the way it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;But the main point: &lt;strong&gt;Remember life right after your own graduation?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; Think about it. Remember it. The main thing that parents and adults forget is having been a kid, a teenager. &amp;quot;I remember all kinds of crap that happened! Oh man, this one time when I had that Pinto and 8 people...&amp;quot; Fine, but do you remember how you TRULY felt, not just the idealized memory? Do you remember the thought process behind decisions good and bad? The why's and wherefores, not just the events? Remember... and give yourself relevant perspective. It will help you deal with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Everything in his world will change.&lt;/strong&gt; For most people it's a difficult time as they seek direction. He will need someone in his life to be that rock in the ebb and flow of the swirling world around him. Without it, he will be susceptible to all manner of influences while his mush of a psyche hunts for definition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what my 2 oldest are going thru. My 22 yo is well on his way to having a complete definition of who and what he is. My 20 yo is still searching, but I think he's finding it. Regardless of where they are (physically or mentally), they know they can always come home . . . for dinner and then GTFO... But the point is that they know they always have someone to help them deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;TL;DR Summary:&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've been there with him, for him, thru the bulk of his life. He will continue to need that when he's 19, 24, 32 and beyond. You can absolutely be there for him without him living in your basement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sidebar&lt;/strong&gt;: If you have the money, I would &lt;strong&gt;definitely&lt;/strong&gt; advise trying to get that sociopathic judgement expunged from his police record. It will only hinder him in his adult life. It will forever pop out on any employment background check and potentially credit reports, and he will be incessantly reminded of how much he hates his maternal unit. It will be nothing but a distraction.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-09-21T06:19:32.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8902" CreationDate="2013-09-21T07:36:54.057" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;@haylem was spot on. I didn't +1 because I'm jealous of the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I need to add to it because as sharp as his answer is, he missed a single very important point: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How long this will last? Answer: Not very long, in the grand scheme.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A newborn is a REAL pain in the ass. Nobody can sleep, they don't know how to say what they want, there's no routine, you want to get the laundry done, just the whole thing is just UUGGHH... for about 4 months. Then they're chatty, have a daily and nightly routine, they can actually be fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 1 and 3 I'd have to say that this is as bad as it will ever get. In 1 year they will be 2 and 4 and a whole completely new world. In 2 years, the 5 will be in half-day kindergarten. At that point, friends and relatives will be on the table for babysitting... cuz no more diapers, that's why. They will have the ability to follow orders and recognize established relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line is that he can stare at the calendar and use that as motivation to make it thru today. A couple short years makes aaalll the difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-09-21T07:36:54.057" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4185" CreationDate="2013-09-21T11:23:21.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know my answer is a bit late, but I'm just about to do a small research project on how children feel about being taken out of class for additional support and came across this site.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, most children I've come across in Primary schools actually enjoy being taken out of class nowadays.  There's much less of a labelling than there used to be.  The activities or &quot;work&quot; done is usually specifically targetted within the child's ability so that s/he isnever put under pressure; the work is &quot;fun&quot; and the 1:1 attention with a lovely teacher or Speech and Language therapist, for example, is really looked forward to.  However, there are still some children for whom it is seen as failing to make the grade.  I'm not expecting my research to be conclusive but I'm interested in this area and will enjoy finding out how the children feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4835" LastActivityDate="2013-09-21T11:23:21.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8948" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-21T23:07:11.523" Score="2" ViewCount="6446" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2 month old loves to be held while we bounce on our exercise ball. It is a great technique for soothing him, but our backs are tired and sore! What are some alternative bouncing contraptions, mechanisms or techniques we could try? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have found that all baby &quot;bouncers&quot; on the market don't bounce with enough force, so the typical contraptions are out. (Don't worry, we are supporting his head and bouncing genty enough for him not to be hurt. Baby bouncers just don't do the same thing! Our babe also likes to be held while bouncing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rocking, taking him for a walk or drive, etc do not work for us. I'm looking for other ways to bounce. Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;: My babe is only reliably calmed by a smooth, rhythmic and steady bouncing that so far we can only provide by using the exercise ball. Walking, wraps, slings, car, jiggling, etc do not work (unfortunately). He has strongly preferred this method for 6 out of his 8 weeks of life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm specifically looking for ways to simulate this type of bouncing. It's nice and cheap but it's hard on our backs!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4836" LastEditorUserId="4836" LastEditDate="2013-09-23T02:39:09.897" LastActivityDate="2020-10-08T09:39:25.783" Title="What are some alternatives to bouncing on an exercise ball?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8948" CreationDate="2013-09-22T10:24:43.833" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two kids, 4yo and 7 months. For me you should not worry at all. Today your baby likes bouncing this way, tomorrow it will be another way, and the day after tomorrow the baby won't like bouncing anymore. Just don't worry, don't buy things, it will not solve anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if I had to give an advice, I would say to not let your baby &quot;decide&quot; which bouncing he or she likes. Just do what is convenient for you, you're nobody's slave after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This path might require bearing some crying for a while, and even signs of anger on the face of the little lovely thing: if you comply and do what your baby is &quot;furiously requesting&quot;, the anger goes away for a day, and comes back harder and harder. I have heard some grown-ups still can't control their anger (expecially when driving a car), which is sad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you ostentively refuse to comply to your kid's every desires, anger might temporarily turn into rage (I had one nice rage face yesterday from the cutest little girl), but if you still hold tight --all within parental love, needless to say--, the anger and rage might progressively dilute, for the benefit of everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only drawback I am aware for this method is that you might reduce from a few pc the probability for your kid to become a Big Crasy Shouting Everyone-is-fired Boss later. This is actually ok with me, but may be a matter of taste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-09-22T10:24:43.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8902" CreationDate="2013-09-22T10:32:02.967" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I parsed the answers quickly and did not see anyone suggesting to not let kids shout &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; loud. Why is it so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok, with a 6 month baby it is different, but why let a 3 years old kid shout loud enough to strain all the family? It should just be forbidden. If there are some games that are loud too, just remove the batteries. And obviously 3 years old kids should be brought once a day to place where they can run and shout freely for one hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-09-22T10:32:02.967" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8948" CreationDate="2013-09-22T13:56:35.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried wearing him while you do your usual activities?  A Moby or other wrap will have him snuggled close and bouncing to whatever activity you're doing, while letting you do something besides just sit 'n' bounce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also just do the small jiggle, as we call it.  Not a bounce, but a very small, fast jiggle while you hold him.  (Still works with my 30-mth-old and 5-yr-old, btw.)  It simulates the movement in the womb (especially that last trimester, when they're big as a house), but you can do it anywhere and not just on a bouncy ball.  (Check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000SEI6L8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Happiest Baby on the Block&lt;/a&gt; for more info about the 5 S's of soothing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-09-22T13:56:35.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8952" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-22T18:36:10.983" Score="7" ViewCount="34098" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 22 years old with little experience with young children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My family (my husband, 5 year old daughter, and myself) moved into my grandmother's house to help her with her illnesses. My husband works 13 hours every day and has little time with the family so I often feel like a single mom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is simply out of control. I ask her to do simple things like clean up after playing and she throws the biggest fit and calls me names and often physically gets in my face and yells at me and will sometimes pinch or hit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nap time is horrible --she is so active (cheer, school, playtime) I want her to be well rested so she can enjoy her self and be pleasant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She started school last week and is doing very well however when ever she is around me she completely disrespects me. However, with my husband she tries to sass him but he just tells her to stop and she does. I constantly feel defeated because I don't know what I'm doing wrong and my grandmother thinks she knows but only makes things worse. Every time I say no (which I feel is only at ridiculous requests) she throws a fit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going crazy, losing sleep and weight. I want to give up sometimes. How do I save my family!?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4839" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-09-23T14:57:18.493" LastActivityDate="2017-02-25T16:15:57.720" Title="How do I get my 5 year old under control?" Tags="|behavior|development|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8952" CreationDate="2013-09-22T19:05:43.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask her what's wrong. The change is probably extremely disrupting for her, and it sounds like she blames you for it. Also, if she is too active, this may be further stressing her system. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-09-22T19:05:43.737" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8301" CreationDate="2013-09-22T22:40:42.320" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you give your son a high fibre diet, try to have him sit on the potty and try to have him go poop on the potty and if that doesn't work, I would try suppositories at each diaper change to make sure that he has gone poop in his diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4840" LastActivityDate="2013-09-22T22:40:42.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8301" CreationDate="2013-09-23T02:37:17.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your story, it could be that poop has been tabooed in your son's little mind. Maybe it is associated too strongly with &quot;dirty&quot; or &quot;bad&quot;. I would try to lift the taboo, showing by example that it is a very ok thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, you could try to do it together. I mean show him that you too poop once a day. Let him come in when you are &quot;at work&quot;, let him see what happens to poop, and then the flush, etc. Show how &quot;big&quot; it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, when you or someone else is going to the toilet, you could underline the fact: &quot;Look, Mama is going to the toilet, there is a biiig poop waiting at the door!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same with dogs in the streets, if you happen to live in such an environment. &quot;Rooh, look, a big doggy poop right there!&quot; -- &quot;Papa, don't dog go to the toilet?&quot; -- etc, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-09-23T02:37:17.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8257" CreationDate="2013-09-23T02:40:51.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience was a little diff as far as the angel care monitor. I have a micro preemie (24 weeker). She came home on no monitors or oxy so I bought an angel care for piece of mind. After a week she came down with a cold and before we knew the AC monitor went off 3 times in one night. It would go off briefly then pick her breathing back up. I viewed her breath deeply then very shallow for about 10 minutes. When I took her to the hospital the next day the docs noticed this unusual pattern, took her pulseox and she was admitted for 8 days with breathing issues. The Angel care monitor was my indication something was wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this post was a few months ago but I wanted to share for anyone with the same dilemma as I found myself and insure if the monitor worked or was worth the purchase. And my pediatrician and attending docs all commended me on the purchase.... The pediatrician even before the episode. The long and short... They do work!! My daughter is now on a &quot;real&quot; apnea monitor and the only diff is the medical one gives specific numbers that allow medical proffesionals to monitor your baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4841" LastActivityDate="2013-09-23T02:40:51.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8905" CreationDate="2013-09-23T07:25:38.557" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants cry, it's their job. Some babies are really good at it. At 3 mos old, it's almost the only thing they know. They cant even hold their head up or make their hands do what they want them to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Your kid will cry. Don't feel bad when they cry. Just help them deal with whatever they're crying about.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;--monsto&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blockquote for emphasis because it is aaaalllways applicable... 3 mos, 3yrs, 33 yrs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-09-23T07:25:38.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8880" CreationDate="2013-09-23T07:47:35.957" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;To be perfectly honest I get a yellow flag here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In my opinion,&lt;/strong&gt; I think that 7pm is too early... but that's just my opinion. I mean, you're the one that knows your kid, not me. Right? Yeah.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I certainly wouldn't call it abusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would however call the teachers expression of 'concern for abuse' &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;a full-on threat.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; I see that statement as &quot;I don't agree with that, and I'm in a position to do something about it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could be wrong, and would be glad to be wrong. However, it's no more of a leap to that opinion than it was for the teacher to leap to the 'abusive' label. &lt;em&gt;And it hurts absolutely nothing take steps to protect yourself against such a vague threat.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you get out in front of it. That you talk to the administrator/principle of the school and the in-house child psych professional (if there is one). I would suggest that you tell them of the conversation, tell them what the teacher said, and tell them that YOU are concerned...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am concerned that there may be a misunderstanding of roles that leads to a protracted ordeal about details in our home life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which, in my opinion, is just as vaguely threatening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you do this not to head off the teacher but &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;because first strike tends to get preference.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; If the teacher hollers abuse, it's the assumption going in. If you bring this up today, then it will be assumed that you're just looking out for your child and the impact of the teachers opinion will be minimized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-09-23T07:47:35.957" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8959" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-23T19:35:47.860" Score="6" ViewCount="394" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 year old daughter recently started school in London, and started getting homework for the Weekends. We are not really happy with both the type and the quantity of work that she is supposed to do: the tasks (e.g. writing letters and drawing pictures of things that start with that letter) seem to be inadequate for her age. Continuing with this example, she can't really write the letters properly, as if she was not explained the direction, etc. She can't really name things starting with a letter either. Hence in effect the homework is more for the parents, who are supposed to do the schools job and teach their child to write letters. We don't think that kids should spend so much time learning to write at this age, because there are so many different things (also in the curriculum) to learn, like arts or social skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, we often go away for the weekends and she is supposed to hand in her homework on Mondays. Hence a couple of questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What would be the consequences if we just ignored (part of) her homework regularly?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How would you deal with this situation?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T08:53:39.747" Title="Homework in schools in England" Tags="|primary-schooler|homework|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8959" CreationDate="2013-09-23T20:14:23.147" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the homework is being assigned at the start of school, it may be that the assignments are more intended as assessments, rather than actual lessons at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Particularly at age 4, it seems unreasonable to expect every child to be able to properly form letters and identify words starting with that letter without a significant amount of practice/studying, but not unreasonable to check to see &lt;em&gt;how many&lt;/em&gt; kids can do this already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children do pick up these skills by four, particularly if they have attended pre-school programs or have parents who may have spent time going over this with them prior to entering the mainstream school system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding your specific questions... I can't answer #1, as I have no experience with London's school systems, but I can speculate that your daughter may be singled out as being behind in performance compared to others, or, more likely, you will be singled out as being uncooperative.  This may or may not be a problem overall, depending upon what you expect to get out of the system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for #2, I'd personally let it be for a while, allowing my child to do the work on their own as best they can, and seeing how the teacher(s) respond.  If you really don't believe that learning to write is a priority at this time, that's your prerogative.  If the current assignments are more intended as assessments than course-work, then you may see the homework be replaced with more agreeable materials fairly soon.  If not, then you may have a situation where your daughter will be putting focus into areas you don't believe are appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, the next step would be to contact the teacher(s) directly, and discuss your concerns.  This may be somewhat less productive if you've established yourself as &quot;uncooperative&quot; already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are unable to resolve it by discussing it with a teacher, then the options left to you are likely finding another school (either another district, or perhaps a private school, depending upon what is allowed/available), having your child conform to the teacher's expected workload, or (the least attractive, in my opinion) having your child ignore the assignments you disagree with, which risks not only creating further conflict with your teacher, but puts your child in the middle, and establishes a precedent that they can ignore any topic or assignment they don't like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-09-23T20:14:23.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8959" CreationDate="2013-09-23T22:30:26.430" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hence in effect the homework is more for the parents, who are supposed to do the schools job and teach their child to write letters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not that far off base. For young kids, homework is very much about parent/child interaction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What would be the consequences if we just ignored (part of) her homework regularly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's a question for you to ask your child's teacher. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How would you deal with this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be honest. Share our thoughts. Try to find a compromise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worse case? Escalate the issue to school management. Maybe switch classrooms. Maybe consider an alternative school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, weekend homework is not something I feel young kids should have to deal with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2013-09-23T22:30:26.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8959" CreationDate="2013-09-24T08:53:39.747" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming in this answer that she is in a state primary school rather than a private school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The purpose of the homework at this age / stage is much more about keeping the parents engaged with the child's learning - they're not expecting the child to be able to complete these tasks unassisted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason they feel the need to do this is because too many parents have this attitude that you reveal when you say &quot;Hence in effect the homework is more for the parents, who are supposed to do the schools job and teach their child to write letters.&quot; I see it the other way - it is the parents' job to teach their child whatever they want to teach them. Most (but not all) parents choose to delegate (some of) that task to the schools, but you should not expect that you can just hand your daughter over to a school, and that they will hand her back to you fully educated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another part of it is that they don't usually have time in class to go over everything as many times as is necessary (lots of repetition / practice when learning a task is good). So by passing some of that practice over into home time, they can get more ground covered at school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age and stage, if your daughter doesn't hand in homework occasionally, the teacher will probably not bat an eyelid, especially if you send in a note explaining that you were away for the weekend or whatever. (That goes double if she's doing fine with all the topics covered - if she has something mastered, there's no need for more practice. But by what you say, she &lt;em&gt;doesn't&lt;/em&gt; have these things mastered yet, so more practice is good at this stage).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's a more regular thing that she never submits homework, they're likely to want to chat to you about it (perhaps just at a regular parents' evening, you should get these at least once per academic year anyway) - in which case, you will explain your case as to why you don't think it's relevant / necessary, they explain their case as to why they think it IS, and you either see their POV and start submitting the homework or don't, as you see fit. There are no official &quot;sanctions&quot; of any sort that they can impose and they would be unlikely to do so anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T08:53:39.747" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8965" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8970" CreationDate="2013-09-24T09:15:07.720" Score="12" ViewCount="4734" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that with most infants (say, around 6 months old, give or take), when presented with an object, there are 3 main things that they'll do with it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;look at it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;put it in their mouth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hold it in their hand(s) and stiffly jerk their arm(s) up and down (banging the object on whatever's in front of them)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's this third behavior that I'm curious about. Why do they do this? (I imagine that the stiff, straight arm and jerky, banging movements come from a lack of fine motor control, but I still don't see what the ultimate goal is.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-30T13:48:25.137" LastActivityDate="2018-10-30T13:48:25.137" Title="Why do infants flail their arms?" Tags="|behavior|infant|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8966" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="8973" CreationDate="2013-09-24T09:45:10.720" Score="11" ViewCount="503" Body="&lt;p&gt;At home, our kids' lives (3 and 7 months) are fairly well-defined, in terms of when events happen. Waking up, meals, naps, bath, bedtime - except for a little slacking on the mornings on weekends (only for the 3yo! the infant still gets her milk on time), the times at which these things happen don't change much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I take the kids to visit my family, I find it hard to keep a consistent schedule - there's always something that we want to do, or someplace to go, that gets in the way. I also get the impression that they think I'm being overprotective, or anal-retentive, or something, because I try to keep to some sort of schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my question is: does anybody know of any studies that examine how much &quot;structure&quot; (for lack of a better term) a child needs in its life in order to be healthy? And what are the effects of not keeping their lives on a pretty stable rhythm?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-01T14:19:48.207" LastActivityDate="2018-11-01T14:19:48.207" Title="How structured does a child's life need to be?" Tags="|development|psychology|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8922" CreationDate="2013-09-24T10:24:20.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on Vicky's comment to just try it, and in response to Guillaume's comment/question, I did try to put the ~15 diapers through a single wash cycle, and there is some residual smell compared to diapers which are put through a single wash cycle with ~15 diapers, then washed a second time with other laundry to make a full laundry load. Using two wash cycles produces laundry that smells fresh, whereas using only a single wash cycle the laundry is a little smelly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case, I am living in an apartment complex and the laundry machines which we use are High Efficiency (HE) washers. Perhaps older washers which use more water would give cleaner cloth diapers even with a single wash cycle. But in my case, I will need to wash the diapers twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T10:24:20.387" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8965" CreationDate="2013-09-24T13:11:56.397" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;They are determining some of the properties of the object:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can I lift it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how much does it weigh?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is it soft or hard?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what kind of noise does it make when shaken, or when banged against something?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it is symmetrical, or is one end heavier than the other?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what do my parents feel about my doing this with it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The banging may be accidental - you give them something when they're sitting in a high chair, it will get banged against the tray - or part of the exploration. Babies have a limited set of &quot;tests&quot; they can run, but the three bullets in your question cover most of the senses and provide plenty of information about the new thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, babies want to learn about everything they interact with. But if some of the tests delight them - the item feels good, tastes good, makes a fun sound - then they will repeat that action with that item and we say they are now playing with it - and we generally approve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T13:11:56.397" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8966" CreationDate="2013-09-24T15:31:17.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main ill effects are a sense of stress from the routine being disrupted, and being hungry or tired from not eating or resting when their body is accustomed.  However, different children have different tolerances for variation.  One of our daughters has an extreme need for routine, but our son seems to have almost no sense of time at all.  Our other daughter is somewhere in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even with our strict daughter, we can usually move things plus or minus an hour or so.  For her, the order and manner we do things is more important than the exact time.  Kids don't watch the clock, they pay attention to their internal signals.  You should pay attention to their signals as well.  If you force your baby to eat an hour before she's hungry enough, she's not going to eat as well, even if you time it precisely by the clock every single time.  Schedules have to be based on the children's needs.  They should be a tool for planning rather than an unassailable rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not everyone knows what it's like to parent young children, and grandparents have often forgotten.  Some people have a different parenting style.  When you go on vacation, try to remember and communicate the underlying reasons for the schedule.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, most young children need a nap, but they don't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; it to be exactly at 1 p.m.  The time you chose for your schedule is based on other factors like when you woke up, when you had lunch, when you have to pick up other kids from school, etc.  With those other factors changed or removed, a nap earlier or later in the day may be more convenient for the group and meet the children's needs just as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T15:31:17.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2013-09-24T21:53:37.213" Score="5" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Resources&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Personal Pages&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.krazydad.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;KrazyDad&lt;/a&gt; (mazes and puzzles)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.guruparents.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;GuruParents&lt;/a&gt; (various tips + some numbering/counting material)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.allkidsnetwork.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AllKidsNetwork&lt;/a&gt; (writing, numbering/counting, drawing...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidzone.ws/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;KidZone&lt;/a&gt; (lots of exercise worksheets)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://engagingtoddleractivities.wordpress.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;EngagingToddlerActivities&lt;/a&gt; (arts and crafts)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.learnwithplayathome.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;LearnWithPlayAtHome&lt;/a&gt; (activities, arts and crafts, ...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://turbulus.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Turbulus&lt;/a&gt; (in French, with pretty great stuff to print)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Company-Sponsored Pages&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.crayola.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Crayola&lt;/a&gt; (crafts, coloring pages) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Make Your Own&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you can scan the picture books, comics, stories, etc... that you already have at home and remove the colors using a photo/image editing software. That way you get neatly defined coloring books with familiar characters, and tons of possibilities. You can of course do this with just about any image, but obviously picture books have neatly defined drawings and it's just the reverse of the processed they went through (they're usually inked and then colored).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pro-tip 1:&lt;/strong&gt; digitally cut out some of characters or background elements and you can then make new scenes, or even build new stories with your child. Variation: do a cartoon/picture mad-lib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pro-tip 2:&lt;/strong&gt; Buy a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00BUI5QWS&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cheap thermal laminator&lt;/a&gt; so you don't print hundreds of pages for coloring and other activities per month, and so you can reuse them multiple times. I don't do this all the time because I think it's important the kids learn to draw on paper with pencils, but sometimes using a laminated version with markers makes your life a tad easier. So for the less serious activities I find that pretty useful. Plus you can then use the laminator for other uses (posters to pin on the wall, protecting good drawings you want to keep, etc..)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2014-10-23T14:27:02.557" LastActivityDate="2014-10-23T14:27:02.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8966" CreationDate="2013-09-24T22:08:50.810" Score="5" Body="&lt;h1&gt;They Both Work&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's the wrong question: your child can be healthy with lots of structure or almost none.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;It's About Your Situation&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a bit too specific to your situation to answer, as it all depends on whether or not you do need the structure to live yourself within your conditions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise, you may need structure in some circumstances and not others (say, if you don't work for a given period, take a sabbathical, go on holidays...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; yourself always need structure? If you feel you do, then that's probably why you'd feel like you need it for your kids. But most likely, you need that structure for a personal reason, and not because of grander reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Recommendations&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, from what you wrote I'd say you need to allow a bit more flexibility in your routine, or at least in dealing with external events. For instance, you shouldn't worry if something gets in the way, especially when going about, or you'll start worrying a lot and the children will sense that as well, and it will be less enjoyable for you as well. It's important to also show that, while structure helps, adaptability is equally important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it depends what you mean that something &quot;gets in the way&quot;. If it's just &quot;family lunches take longer than planned and Mary is late for her nap&quot; or other family-related activities that &quot;delay&quot; or &quot;cancel&quot; an element of a daily routine, I'd think (but that's personal, and they're your kids, so you know best) that's overreacting. Different interactions are good, and diversity is great for young kids and infants to discover the world. So let them look at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=2000-04-20&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/TXF0r.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Blues - 2000-04-20&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Your Kids, Your Life, Your Rules&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, about being called anal-retentive and such things no parents ever want to hear...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If nobody ever said it and you didn't hear it indirectly, then you worrying about it probably means you already feel like you might need pushing it a bit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If someone ever told you, then maybe accept the criticism, all the while knowing that it's your life, your kids, and that you have to live it the way it works for you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Oh Right, &quot;Hard&quot; Data&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note: to take with a grain of salt and read thoroughly before judging based on the title or abstracts only... While you could correlate parenting techniques to behaviors and successes appearing later in life, context and environment are too hard to control to imply a strong causation. That, plus any other possible bias research studies can always have and that you need to be on the lookout for (lobbying, personal biases, quality and diversity of study samples, etc...)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Also, some of these do not answer your question directly but bear a relation to the topic and how it affects other things, so I included them.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2006.01655.x/full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Household chaos – links with parenting and child behaviour&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://weill.cornell.edu/ipr/PDF/Griffin-et-al-2000-PAB.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parenting practices as predictors of substance use, delinquency, and aggression among urban minority youth: moderating effects of family structure and gender&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1530156705000079&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Maternal depressive symptoms are adversely associated with prevention practices and parenting behaviors for preschool children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2675894/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;A Nightly Bedtime Routine: Impact on Sleep in Young Children and Maternal Mood&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1467-8624.00087/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Linking Maternal Efficacy Beliefs, Developmental Goals, Parenting Practices, and Child Competence in Rural Single‐Parent African American Families&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2013-09-24T22:37:43.420" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T22:37:43.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8948" CreationDate="2013-09-24T22:44:21.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not exactly what you ask for, but you could try substitute to the bouncing. For instance, white background noise, tv, or even a vacuum cleaner can work wonders (that last one always surprised me, but my daughter would fall asleep every time... even though it was very loud!). Unlikely as you say car rides dont work (and those usually do as there's a combination of white noise and movement), but just in case...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, well, train your muscles and instead of bouncing on a ball just shake/rock your arms. Tiresome, but kids like it. That sort of motion was relatively easy and I could sustain that for a while. Quite fortunately as our oldest would only fall asleep this way for almost a year, and it would sometimes take 3 hours to put him to sleep. So... you better get used to it for a while!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Geeky not-so-serious alternative: a variant of &lt;a href=&quot;http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/ITAPPMONROBOT.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ITAPPMONROBOT&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastActivityDate="2013-09-24T22:44:21.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8975" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-24T23:26:08.667" Score="15" ViewCount="125877" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 yo has been showing a rather annoying and obsessive behavior for the past 6 months or so, in that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he repeats himself all the time,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and won't take no for an answer in some circumstances.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe I should ask 2 different questions for this, but the 2 problems seem to go hand in hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quick examples...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Say we're having lunch and talk together, and at some point he might say something and for some reason start repeating it (e.g. &quot;It's mommy who bought that salad, OK?&quot;). He'll keep repeating for a while (it can really go on and on for 10-15 iterations), and he's starting to take too long to eat. If it's a question, like in this example, we can acknowledge it and agree with him, and it'll usually end there. However, if it's something where it's not correct (say, grand-ma bought the salad so we just tell him &quot;no, actually, grand-ma bought it for us&quot;) or where he wasn't asking a question (&quot;tomorrow we go to the school&quot; or &quot;baby is sleeping&quot;), then we can't always find a way to make him accept the &quot;correction&quot; or to understand that we understand what he's saying and to stop repeating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we might at some point tell him &quot;Sorry, but now you have to stop talking and playing. Finish your plate and then we can talk.&quot; He usually gets it, and knows he should go back to it and will do it to some extent, but will irremediably start saying the same thing again a bit later. Or, if at that time there's something he wants to say, he absolutely won't give up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In another situation, if we happen to be near the door of his baby-sister's room when she takes a nap and he wants to tell us something, we'll ask him to be quiet and to wait to tell us something until we're out of ear-shot, and we start walking away from the door (he's quite loud and has that piercing voice - a 4 yo kid, basically). He won't respect that and will keep talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if very explicitly &lt;strong&gt;forbidden&lt;/strong&gt; to (a clear &quot;Shhh, you need to be quiet now!&quot;) for instance for one of the above scenarios and he keeps talking, or if he's in a time-out or a quiet relaxation time, he'll just keep trying to talk. Usually we reach a point where we just can't get out of it and just tell him we'll talk later and walk away, or that he can't talk right now, and he'll either get upset (which I can understand) or start pulling on my arm to ask the permission to talk right away (actually rather strange, as we don't really have a &quot;ask permission to talk&quot; thing going on, but maybe that's mimicking classroom behavior).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example would be when we go shopping. He may start saying in the supermarket &quot;I like these cookies&quot;, or something like this, and you won't be able to make him stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that at 4 yo, it's hard for him to know when it's appropriate to talk, and why silence is required under some circumstances. But there are situations he's familiar with (like his sister sleeping, being quite in time-outs, talking quietly in public places, etc...), and also it's really the one thing where we can't get him to snap out of it. It either ends with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we give up and tell him &quot;ok, what do you want to say?&quot; and he'll say it (usually quite a few times), but it's troublesome that we can't make him accept a rule;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or he'll get very upset and possibly cry, let himself fall on the floor and refuse to do anything.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course at first I thought we might be doing it wrong (well, we probably do), and he might feel like we don't listen to him, or don't give him enough importance, or it's an indirect/hidden message he's trying to send us. But not really. In the case of the &quot;salad&quot; scenario, it doesn't look like he wants anything but won't hear that the corrected fact is right; in the case of waking up his sister it's often about something trivial; and in the case of the supermarket, you could buy him the cookies and assure him they're his and his only and it wouldn't make a difference in the world. So it doesn't look like it's really linked to the content of what he says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought it might be due about just wanting to be listened to, but acknowledging him and agreeing doesn't even always make him stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then it could be more about the situation than about the discussion itself (it does happen often at lunch/dinner and when going out), but then I don't know why he'd feel attached to having to repeat things that don't even seem to matter to him that much at the time.&#xA;And in general I'm perfectly OK with taking a deep breath and letting him go through it for as long as he wants, and I just say &quot;ok&quot; and agree with him or try to steer the conversation and ask follow-ups (and it goes on a while!), but when we do need to make him snap out it it's really hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a bit confused and I hope someone can make sense of it and has a similar experience. I know young kids repeat things a lot, but it really looks like a strong fixation or obsession, and it's been driving us a bit nuts, but also his grand-parents, his uncle, our friends, and some care-takers at school (I don't think it happens with the teacher that often).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:14:28.363" LastActivityDate="2020-02-02T01:48:26.210" Title="How do I get my 4yo to stop repeating himself all the time, and to respect a quiet time?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8854" CreationDate="2013-09-25T02:06:15.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Essentially I had to add some consequences to the action. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case I pulled out the big guns and said that if he picked at the scab again I would ban him from all video games until it healed. So far that has motivated him to monitor his own behaviour, even to the point where he put plasters on the wound himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The injuries healed several days later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2709" LastEditorUserId="2709" LastEditDate="2013-10-07T00:48:22.860" LastActivityDate="2013-10-07T00:48:22.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8975" CreationDate="2013-09-25T02:24:45.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the same issue with my 4yo boy, he repeated &quot;what's your name&quot; for a week or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't get angry, but I told him I thought it wasn't funny anymore, and I was mostly ignoring him when he said that. Today he started controlling himself, but still has bursts of mechanical repeating: &quot;what's your...&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My opinion: I don't think you do anything wrong, your kid has enough importance, maybe too much, and there is no hidden message. You should ignore him when he knowingly behaves in a way you don't approve. Should he cry or fall on the floor doing nothing, you should ignore him even more, ostensibly doing without him something he would very much want to do with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-09-25T02:24:45.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8978" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-25T05:42:16.287" Score="6" ViewCount="127873" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 19months old daughter, who sleeping between me and my wife, screams (for once or few times) during nighttime/sleeptime but she not waking up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;just scream..... around 2 - 4am and her normal sleep @ 1030pm and last meal (milk) around 930pm&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;i saw some questions/answers regarding the different is she does not wake up... just scream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;is it she having some nightmare, or night terrors?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if so, how to deal with it? or....?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4850" LastActivityDate="2016-08-25T13:59:13.860" Title="Toddler scream at night during sleep, but she does not wake up" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5364" CreationDate="2013-09-25T14:55:19.720" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a mother of 3 sons aged 6 and a half, 3 year old and 7 months.  Well my eldest sat at 8 and a half months, started crawling at 7 months, walked at 1 year 5 months and said his first word at 1 year 7 months (Mummy). My second son sat down at 4 months and started saying his first words at 5 months.  He never rolled, never crawled.  He was standing at 8 months and started walking before 1 year.  By 1 year he used to speak about 50 words and even in groups.by a year and a half he could hold a full conservation with people. My youngest has just started sitting by himself and does not say any words. With regards fine motor skills, i disagree that those children who skip crawling have difficulties with motor skills.  Well I used to lock certain doors so that my second son would not enter the rooms.  He could open the doors very easily while his elder brother (4 years older) could not.  The same applies to opening bottles. Also, the second one likes to write and draws without going out of the lines.  My middle son is the only left-handed in the family though.  Do not know if this has anything to do with his left-handedness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4852" LastActivityDate="2013-09-25T14:55:19.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1746" CreationDate="2013-09-25T14:59:24.933" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 3-year-old, and the way we handle leaky diapers at night is to bring her to the potty at night. For example,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8 pm Daughter goes to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10 pm Take daughter to pee at the potty, and we go to bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 am Take daughter to pee at the potty, drink some water and go back to bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7 am Wake up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using this method, our daughter is able to sleep without a diaper, while being &quot;potty-trained&quot; at night. This method is inspired by the Elimination Communication method of toilet training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you still want to use diapers, you could do something similar, e.g.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8 pm Daughter goes to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10 pm Change daughter's diaper, and we go to bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 am Change daughter's diaper, drink some water and go back to bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7 am Wake up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One might ask, &quot;How do you get good sleep if you have to wake up in the middle of the night every night?&quot; In fact the following article &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The myth of the eight-hour sleep&lt;/a&gt; suggests that before the advent of artificial lighting, it was normal for humankind to wake up after a 4-hour sleep cycle, have an hour of quiet activity, before another 4-hour sleep cycle. If we have this adjusted expectation about our own sleep and our baby's sleep, it is no longer necessary for one diaper to last through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastActivityDate="2013-09-25T14:59:24.933" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8125" CreationDate="2013-09-26T08:35:04.533" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If its only during the night, I doubt it has to do anything with physiological pain. Or it has to do with mechanical difference like laying down for a long time that her stomach acid boils up or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So assuming its not physiological, I would like to share the following with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't do so already, this might help, it certainly won't hurt:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The moment it happens is crucial to note your own feelings, especially when you enter the room. Children haven't a well established sense of language yet and so they are more sensitive to emotion than to what you say. For example. If you would say &quot;calm my dear, its all right.&quot; but you are feeling stresses/agitated, or whatever emotion that is not radiating comfort, you might not be of any help or even make it worse. So besides telling her its all right, let her feel its all right as well. Make her feel its all right whats she is going through by giving her the feeling that you do understand, but give her the feeling that its not something she should feel stressed about. The latter should make her feel she can trust you on this one, so she can try to let it go, as you are there when 'things go wrong'. When you show you understand she can't feel 'bad' about herself. Negative self-reflection like feelings of 'i'm silly' or 'it's not good what I am doing' or 'parents do not like me when I do this' should be avoided by showing that you understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Crucial:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is a individual, developing her self, and it's her responsibility to overcome this. It's a matter of INTERNAL change. Therefore, I would not recommend you visit a 'professional' so soon. As this might give here the feeling that something is wrong with her, that needs to be fixed (externally). If that idea penetrates her mind, then she has just build a mental blockage, and likely isn't able to solve the problem herself anymore. In fact there isn't anything wrong at all (probably). It most likely is just a matter of growing up and her perspective needs to be adjusted to the new things she is capable of (viewing the world, seeing certain patterns, feeling certain emotions and what not).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have faith and confidence that she is more than capable of resolving this issue by herself. Give her at least the change to do so by being supportive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastActivityDate="2013-09-26T08:35:04.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8984" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9023" CreationDate="2013-09-26T08:36:35.300" Score="17" ViewCount="7258" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Just to understand my position:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&#xA;I, as her older brother (she is without father, 13 and I'm 24), have to sometimes act like her parent, because mom just can't restrain her, when she starts yelling or doesn't want to do anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Problem:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Recently she has been having problems at school, getting bad grades, bad behavior - I understand, that she is in that pubescent age, but still, when I'm studying with her, she's not really paying attention, still on her facebook on the phone, saying 'I don't care', and when I convince her to learn, she really does it the very 'lazy way'. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She does not respect me as an authority, because I have always been nice to her, got her everything she wanted me to (just couldn't say no to her, english is not my native language - but I hope you get what I mean).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I need some way to make her do her homework, actually learn and get good or better grades.&lt;br /&gt; &#xA;How do I achieve that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every advice will be very appreciated in this matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4851" LastEditorUserId="7841" LastEditDate="2014-05-29T11:20:00.310" LastActivityDate="2023-05-24T20:38:40.420" Title="How to restrain my 13-year-old pubescent sister?" Tags="|behavior|education|school|teaching|teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8978" CreationDate="2013-09-26T13:40:45.250" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It does not sound like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_night-terrors_142.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;night terrors&lt;/a&gt; (which are different from nightmares). It sounds like a sleep cry to me. This is a good description of a sleep cry:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleep-cries are referred as such as the child is initially still asleep when it 1st occurs. The cries are initially very intense, as if the child is in pain or had a terrible nightmare. This initial intense cries often subside on it's own within 2-5mins, followed by fussy/complainy/whiny cries, and the child is in deep sleep again within 7-15mins. Hence, the importance of waiting for a few mins. If one rushes in, one risks actually waking the child and create an actual nightwaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is overtired, these sleep-cries will be more frequent (at multiples of a sleep cycle-45mins), slightly/moderately overtired-every 3hrs, moderate to severely overtired-every 1.5hr or sooner. The more overtired the child and the less practise the child has at independent sleep, the more difficulties the child will have in transitioning from 1 sleep cycle to the next and the more likely the sleep-cry will develop into a full-blown nightwaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycenter.com/post/a5417415/how_to_successfully_teach_a_baby_to_sleep_-_3rd_ed.&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I understand these cries occur on sleep cycle transitions and indicate overtiredness. Has your child been sleeping less than usual? It is well-known that at 18 months comes a very challenging &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/why-18-month-sleep-regression-can-be-hardest/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;sleep regression&lt;/a&gt; where toddlers need to sleep but have a difficult time. That can lead to overtiredness no matter what you do, leading to the sleep cries you are hearing now. Also remember that toddlers need a fairly early bedtime (6-8 p.m. is recommended by most sleep experts) and a solid nap every day to prevent overtiredness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-09-26T13:40:45.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8948" CreationDate="2013-09-26T14:28:17.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, what soothes your baby will likely change over the next few months. My girls used to love this mechanical swing thing, and then they hated it and needed to be held, and now they are way into their rainforest bouncer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which brings me to an answer to your question. Do an amazon search for bouncer and you'll see a number of little seats for you baby that do just that... they bounce 'em. All it takes is a tiny nudge with your foot. You can bounce them while you eat or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4857" LastActivityDate="2013-09-26T14:28:17.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8988" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-26T16:46:40.183" Score="9" ViewCount="2739" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am teaching mathematics for kids. Some of them are so lazy in thinking. They often answer my questions without thinking. And some of them also early decide that they will be artists, dancers, athletes, house-wives, etc so they don't need mathematics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any idea to persuade such lazy-to-think kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4046" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T11:37:07.637" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T11:37:07.637" Title="How to persuade lazy-to-think kids to learn mathematics?" Tags="|education|learning|math|motivation|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8988" CreationDate="2013-09-26T18:20:03.810" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had some success (in an unpaid, friend of the family or parent of the child's friend kind of way) with the following approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stop referring to them, even inside your own head as lazy-to-think. While that is one possible explanation for them not answering, or blurting out any old number without working it out first, there are plenty of others: they are quite likely afraid and a little bit lost, unsure where to start. Your mental model of their motivation is really important. Make an effort to change it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Look into yourself to find out why you like knowing (not learning, but where you are now knowing) the math you are trying to teach them. Is it fun? Can it prevent people from ripping them off with rent-to-buy or similar schemes? Will it help them get a job?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Share your enthusiasm with them. When it's time to teach them a technique, tell them why you are teaching it. (For example with much younger children, they learn to multiply because it's way quicker than adding over and over again.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Understand that there are many ways of learning: that some kids hate word problems (and some adults too - a grandparent helping with homework complained to me that you had to understand farming to do the problems; you didn't, but getting past &quot;if each cow needs 1/4 bale of hay and there are 12 cows how much hay do you need?&quot; was impossible for the lifelong citydweller who couldn't find the math problem in there) while others hate equations but can do fractions blazingly fast if they are presented as involving money or sharing a pile of candies among friends. Mix it up and offer a variety. Consider using tactile learning aids like piles of lego for those who prefer to work things out their way.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give them opportunities to succeed. Don't count their failures. It doesn't matter how many tries they needed to master something, it matters that they have mastered it. In martial arts classes the belt doesn't come with a little sticker on it that says &quot;failed first two evaluations for this belt&quot; and nor should whatever certificates or milestone acknowledgements you give the students.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be open to the possibility that more than one answer is right. We asked a very young child who was doing sequences at school (eg 1, 4, 7, 10, ... what is next) to try 1, 4, 9, 16 and to our surprise the formula we were given was not &quot;square of 1, 2, 3,&quot; but rather &quot;add 3, then add 5, then add 7&quot; and what's more this is in fact a completely correct answer (up to any value of i you want) which we ended up proving by drawing squares on a piece of paper. Don't force them to use your technique to solve problems.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy them. Enjoy watching their minds open to new things. Enjoy thinking of all the doors that will be open to them as adults when they are not afraid of math and they are good at it. And, I'm sure, enjoy all the new students you will have when word gets around that classes with PGFTricks are great fun.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-09-26T18:20:03.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8889" CreationDate="2013-09-27T05:57:02.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is the site you want: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scchildcare.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.scchildcare.org/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can input a city or zipcode, and it will list all of the child care providers in the area. You can click on any one to see the complaints and whether they have been resolved. Some of them are a bit cryptic to understand. From my perusal of various SC child care sites, it would appear that facilities are only inspected if people complain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naccrra.org/node/2494&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Child Care Aware&lt;/a&gt; (NACCRRA), &quot;Child care center licensing and oversight in South Carolina ranked 50th in a ranking of all states, including the District of Columbia and the Department of Defense.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://childcareaware.org/node/1402?field_categories_value_many_to_one=All&amp;amp;field_state_select_value_many_to_one=SC&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This page&lt;/a&gt; from NACCRRA has some additional links to information on child care licensing in South Carolina.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T05:57:02.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8988" CreationDate="2013-09-27T10:00:40.923" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8989/147&quot;&gt;Chrys' Answer&lt;/a&gt; covers most of the ground I was going to, but one suggestion might be gamification. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you've said, some children see &lt;strong&gt;no value in going beyond basic maths&lt;/strong&gt;, and while you might be able to convince them that those jobs they plan for require maths (good luck being a householder who can't balance a monthly budget), that's not always valid, and they can easily see counter-examples. It's even arguable that they're &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt; and that the time spent learning maths is less valuable than focusing on what they're actually interested in (although I believe maths is interesting and fulfilling and that at least basic add/sub/mult/div is essential for day-to-day living, I can't dispute that most people can and do live happily in an algebra-free environment, let alone a calculus-free one).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So what you need to do is add &quot;created&quot; value to replace the &quot;inherent&quot; value that's lacking for them, and creating a game around it is one of the best ways to do that. (Hell, that's what a game does)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;As an example, create a set of age-appropriate levels, with a set of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;SMART&lt;/a&gt; goals for those levels.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, everyone starts at a base level, and gains &quot;experience&quot; by answering questions in class, by getting above a certain grade in homework, and by being helpful in other ways such as staying behind to help clear (which gives kids who aren't as proficient a way to mitigate their struggling). The goals get more challenging as you progress (for example, XP would only be given for a 90%+ on a &quot;Craftsman's&quot; homework, whereas a &quot;Novice&quot; would get XP for &lt;em&gt;any passing grade&lt;/em&gt;, they'd just get &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; for a 90%+.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they rise in level, they get status and possibly first crack at whatever treats go on at the school (although this can backfire, see below), but you also have responsibilities to help out with other level students (&lt;strong&gt;Being seen as responsible and valued is a treat in itself for many children&lt;/strong&gt;). &lt;strong&gt;This can be layered over a normal course pretty cleanly, as all you need to do is keep track of the XP.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other benefits include being able to clearly see which children are struggling, being able to tailor for specific students in specific cases, and most importantly of all, a constant feeling of progress (normal grading being a bit prone to &quot;you're only as good as your last grade&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note that this is about competing against the tasks you need to accomplish, not against other students. Let them share their current XP/level if they want to, but don't have a &quot;league&quot;.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How other students do should not affect your XP gain for several reasons, but the most important is that that kind of competition only &quot;motivates the motivated&quot;. If you are regularly getting 10% lower grades than the more proficient students (who, for example, may have more supportive parents, private tuition, or simply a less stressful journey home, or who may actually be naturally more comfortable with maths), your reaction is more likely to be &quot;fine he can have it&quot;, especially as they progress further. By making it about &lt;strong&gt;improving on your previous achievements&lt;/strong&gt;, they've always got an achievable task, naturally tailored for them. As a bonus, this means that &lt;strong&gt;this technique can also be used even when there's only one student&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this alone takes a bit of work to manage, but if you're interested in deeper solutions, I can heartily recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0143120611&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;Reality is Broken&quot; by Jane McGonigal&lt;/a&gt; as a primer on this stuff (as well as a good read), and this video by the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/gamifying-education&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Extra Credits team&lt;/a&gt;. The video covers a lot of the stuff I did above, as well as mentioning a test case, and gives some great ideas for using the class dynamics to support and enthuse weaker students.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T11:03:35.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8993" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9041" CreationDate="2013-09-27T12:58:48.737" Score="3" ViewCount="238" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guide to using sign-language for babies recommends starting out with one single word, and repeating it frequently until the baby begins using it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm having a lot of trouble picking a good first word, though. I'd like something relatively easy for a baby to sign, something he'll actually find useful (so he'll want to use it on his own), and something that will be easy for me to explain/demonstrate to him. What is a good first word to use?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T13:08:22.567" Title="What's a good choice for a baby's first sign in sign language?" Tags="|infant|sign-language|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8994" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9002" CreationDate="2013-09-27T14:59:35.453" Score="5" ViewCount="938" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have a look at the photo below. Is it a photoshop trick or is it actually possible to make an infant sleep like this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is possible, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;how to go about this pose?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[This isn't about the camera, this is about the technique of handling the kid]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/NzQYH.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/104921346775116248789/albums/5923130107386457505/5923130106327088706?pid=5923130106327088706&amp;amp;oid=104921346775116248789&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-01-17T01:14:11.227" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T01:14:11.227" Title="How do you make an infant sleep on her stomach with her hands on her chin?" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8995" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-27T15:13:43.863" Score="2" ViewCount="3557" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13 month old baby girl is teething. Her nose is leaking, she has red cheeks and super red  bum (rear-end). With urine and feces, it gets worse, and two spots become red flesh (like road rash) so it is getting worse everyday (not that bad, but not getting healed anyway).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the question: What do you put on that to get it better? &#xA;note : zirkofax do NOTHING... photo availible on request&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2692" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-09-27T15:32:35.640" LastActivityDate="2016-01-13T13:03:23.813" Title="Treating diaper rash for a teething toddler" Tags="|toddler|teething|diaper-rash|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8994" CreationDate="2013-09-27T15:14:38.430" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answering the question at the top. You don't. Let them sleep in the most comfortable safe position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is just for taking pictures of your little puppet, follow Chrys's instruction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T15:14:38.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8995" CreationDate="2013-09-27T15:27:42.333" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem and it took a long time to go away. Firstly, consult a doctor.&#xA;Our doctor suggested the anti-fungal cream Daktarin, but a type without hydrocortisone. Secondly, we made sure her bum was always clean and dry after peeing and pooping. Thirdly, we made sure she had as much time as possible without a nappy on, even though this was risky – the risk is worth it for her comfort (and we have no carpet, so it wasn't too bad).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rash cleared up after 3 weeks of Daktarin, but there were a lot of unsuccessfully attempts to beat it before that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T15:27:42.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8993" CreationDate="2013-09-27T15:42:00.180" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The two we started with first have been 'diaper change', and 'milk'. Our thinking was, focus on those words that will let our daughter express her needs as early as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's only 9 months old though, and just hinting at signing diaper change when she needs one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4235" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T15:42:00.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="8999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8995" CreationDate="2013-09-27T15:53:03.157" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had luck with calendula cream.  Lots and lots of calendula cream.  If you're using wipes for cleaning the little bottom, maybe try just lukewarm wet washcloths for a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T15:53:03.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9000" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9016" CreationDate="2013-09-27T17:04:35.757" Score="9" ViewCount="8607" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old son is great, but when he is angry/frustrated with something we do, mainly when we punish him or do something he doesn't like (e.g. when we tell him he's had enough tv), he starts crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He expresses his frustration verbally (which is fine), but then he starts throwing things! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not talking about something he had in his hands; I am talking about him grabbing anything around him and throwing it to the ground. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his baby brother is close to him, he instead goes and hits him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, when he does that I give him a 3 minute timeout, and I explain to him afterwards that it's ok to be frustrated and to express yourself, but that what he did is wrong and he can't keep throwing things. But it's not working and he continues with that behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I approach this problem and change his behavior? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4693" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-11-13T14:53:36.620" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T04:48:54.870" Title="How do we deal with my toddler son's &quot;angry behavior&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8993" CreationDate="2013-09-27T20:35:24.113" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son signed &quot;milk&quot; yesterday-- although he hasn't done so in context.  His first word was &quot;Mam&quot;, which he used exclusively to mean he wanted milk.  So under the theory that kids talk about what they care about, milk is on the top of the list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I take it you are doing baby sign language (20-50 signs to smooth communication until they can talk).  That said, in the studies on ASL, there is a concept called &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=UeJgl9LiX0kC&amp;amp;pg=PA161&amp;amp;lpg=PA161&amp;amp;dq=unmarked%20signs%20asl&amp;amp;source=bl&amp;amp;ots=zHFGOjNxbY&amp;amp;sig=s1Qoi0Fty-I4Nf0TWAPdUGETGVQ&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=3ulFUua6CpLH4AOGs4HQCQ&amp;amp;ved=0CFoQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=unmarked%20signs%20asl&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;unmarked signs&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, which is roughly the simplest hand signs you can make. Babies learning ASL will often simplify the signs down to something that is easy enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For baby sign language, since he or she doesn't need to integrate into a language community, you can feel free to simplify the signs.  (Or you can do full on ASL with facial expressions, careful positioning, grammatical cues, etc-- I think perceptually simple and &quot;hard to make&quot; signs are just as good.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of our family used baby sign language and the baby simplified &quot;more&quot; to one finger pointing to the other palm instead of the more complex &quot;kissing&quot; of all the fingers pinched together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T20:35:24.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8994" CreationDate="2013-09-27T23:15:09.870" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;This pose is actually 100% photo-edited. You take a sleeping kid, prop them in two different ways with your hands supporting them, then merge the two different pictures. In the first shot, the photographer or an assistant holds the baby's head. In the second the arms are held. The two shots are merged so that it looks as if no one was holding the baby. But no, it is not really possible to - at least safely - acheive this pose with just a baby. You can find an example of how it is done &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.elizabethhalford.com/photography-tutorials/photographing/11-top-tips-for-newborn-photography-safety/&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. You will find that some newborn photographers hate this pose and those like it because it does not really capture how newborns actually are (and can be dangerous if not done right). An example of reasoning why not to pose infants like this is &lt;a href=&quot;http://rachelvanoven.com/blog/getting-this-off-my-chest/&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T23:15:09.870" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8993" CreationDate="2013-09-27T23:22:57.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;More is easy and handy. But then your young toddler will use it whenever it might be remotely useful, and suddenly you find yourself dealing with a constant torrent of &quot;more, more, more&quot; signed at you. For that reason I think the book that recommends &quot;please&quot; as a good first sign is very useful. That way when your child is demanding something, they are demanding it with a &quot;please.&quot; It's more pleasant for you and a good life lesson for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-09-27T23:22:57.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8993" CreationDate="2013-09-29T00:18:18.100" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first baby's first sign was &quot;eat&quot;(/&quot;food&quot;) and the second was &quot;toilet&quot;. For our next kid we're again currently totally focusing on &quot;eat&quot; as the first sign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just as for Pete in another answer, our reasoning is to enable our baby to express basic needs as soon as possible. In addition these are (for our sing language and choice of signs) motorically easy signs to do. A further advantage is that, while eating, there is a prolonged time of contact with the baby that lends itself well to signing with a very obvious connection to the current activity, which supposedly increases the baby's potential for learning. The same applies to sitting on a potty (if EC:ing) and signing &quot;toilet&quot; to the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3131" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T00:18:18.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4292" CreationDate="2013-09-29T02:37:39.140" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember being sick worried thinking why my lo wasn't eating at that age, but that was just a phase. We used to think he was the only child who doesn't like to eat, but after talking to friends and reading online, I found out many babies go through the same stage at that age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things I tried at the time and they worked were, change the timings of eating a little bit. I found out that my lo wasn't hungry at the times I was feeding him. Feeding him a little later helped. Don't force feed though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offer variety of food. I found that he loved this &lt;a href=&quot;http://recipes.thewomentalk.com/spinach-cheese-pasta-recipe&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;spinach cheese pasta&lt;/a&gt; and these &lt;a href=&quot;http://recipes.thewomentalk.com/banana-carrot-healthy-muffins-recipe&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;healthy muffins&lt;/a&gt;. Let her self feed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4867" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T02:37:39.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6383" CreationDate="2013-09-29T13:45:48.627" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter went through a stage of hair loss. She had very long hair and would wash it and tie it back in a very tight pony tail without drying it. She was also straightening it frequently and the heat was drying out the ends of her hair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took some convincing for me to persuade her to leave her hair out when she was at home and going to bed. I massaged her scalp with natural oils, in an olive oil base. I encouraged her to brush her hair with a hair brush with boar bristles, as opposed to the plastic brushes with widely separated bristles. The idea behind this was to stimulate blood flow to the scalp and loosen any dead skin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She rarely ties her hair back when it is damp. She still tends to like tight pony tails (as all her friends are doing the same), but we have managed to change her routine sufficiently, so that her hair is growing back, noticeably, to its original thickness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for malnutrition, or other medical reasons for hair loss, I wouldn't want to speculate on an online site like this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T13:45:48.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9009" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-09-29T14:43:50.583" Score="6" ViewCount="49204" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid (3.5 months old) is currently living with her grandmother since last week. This week I visited her but she didn't seem to affected by my presence. This has discouraged and disappointed me greatly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish to know at what age will she be able to recognize who's who?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2018-01-30T13:07:43.643" Title="At what age does an infant start recognizing people?" Tags="|infant|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2013-09-29T14:45:10.283" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience as a parent of three children, ranging from 12 - 19 years old, is that all children are different in how they react to boundaries being set, and the more familiar they are with the adult setting the limits, the more freely they will express their particular style of objection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also had the situation of trying to introduce a new man into my children's lives (their father died when they were little) and forming a relationship with his daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one point or another each of my children have told me they hated me (when young and being told they couldn't do/have something they wanted). I've never taken it to heart and my response would be something like, well I love you, or that's a shame and leave it at that for the time being. If their behaviour has been explosive or over the top in an attempt to get their own way, I firmly stand my ground; but it is later when things are calm, that I will sit down with them and discuss their reactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I generally tell them, that it's ok for them to feel, however they feel, in fact, it can be quite natural. However, I do point out clearly that it's not ok to launch into tirades, insults or abuse because they are not happy with the limits I've set. It's an ongoing process, as many adults have difficulty with behaviour, teenagers are on a steep learning curve. The increasing desire to be independent and &quot;grown up&quot;, mixed with the conflict of still needing the nurturing and protection of a parent. Add to this all the hormone changes and it's amazing human beings manage to mature at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key with parenting and the teenage years is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Build a solid relationship in those formative years, this is the most helpful thing you can have when the teenage years arrive.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Spend time when things are calm, using examples in their lives, as they present, to illustrate points of discipline to try and elucidate that setting limits, as a parent, is not about punishing the child, but actually caring for them. I go to great lengths to impress that, as children, they really don't know as much as they think they do, in fact their teachers and elders DO indeed know more and have been children before; regardless of the generation gaps. I use every available example of when I've set a boundary and there's been a natural consequence to use it as an illustration.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The car is one of the best places to have discussions. They are forced to listen :) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I usually become friends with some of my children's friends' parents. I have found this to be a valuable resource in realising that what is going on is the norm. If I see someone I like, who I think is a good parent, and the child is misbehaving or saying hurtful things, it's reassuring, that it's not necessarily personal. That it's a stage.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The will be an apex of maximum rebellion. This varies between individuals, though I tend to observe 14 years is a time of increasing confidence and cockiness. That's when the big guns are pulled out, to push at the boundaries. So whether you are a step parent, an adopted parent, a birth parent, some teenagers (not all) will say hurtful things. If you believe you are being reasonable, and you can validate this with feedback from peers and family discussion in calm time; view the rebellion as an indication that you are being a responsible and good parent.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I tell my children and my close friend's children ..&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You don't have to like your parents, you can even hate them, but you have to respect them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The other thing I express is this... when I get the  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You don't care about me! You don't let me do anything I like!&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I reply calmly..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If I didn't care about you, I'd let you go out with your friends to get you out of my hair, rather than enforce a curfew and have to put up with your whining. I do this, because I do care about you and want to keep you safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Last and not least forgive them. As human beings, we are all flawed and we all make mistakes. It's important to let them know that you love them no less. We don't like the behaviour, but we always love the child. It is an acquired knack to let people know that you are ok with them, even though you do not condone the behaviour.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my favourite quotes, not by a parenting expert:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Discipline is a symbol of caring to a child. He needs guidance. If there is love, there is no such thing as being too tough with a child. A parent must also not be afraid to hang himself. If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;Bette Davis&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-09-29T14:56:20.590" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T14:56:20.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9011" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9014" CreationDate="2013-09-29T15:31:26.623" Score="17" ViewCount="1566" Body="&lt;p&gt;For me, as a new parent I found it difficult to find a balance between meeting the needs of my son and my own needs. I was inclined to view my own needs as being selfish and an inadequacy within me that equated to selfishness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case, I grew up perceiving my mother to be very selfish, and as an older adult, I conclude that this was an accurate observation. This caused me to have a psychological dilemma when I felt the need to have activities or time for myself while caring for a young child. This was later exacerbated by the death of my husband, leaving me as the, truly, sole carer of three young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was many years ago and I have since found such a balance, but I felt it would be a good question to help new parents struggling with this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can a parent realistically find a healthy balance between meeting the needs of their child/ren and their own needs? How does one evaluate their own desires as being reasonable or whether it crosses over into selfishness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T18:37:15.513" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T20:34:02.910" Title="Balancing children's needs with a parent's own needs" Tags="|parents|coping|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9012" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9013" CreationDate="2013-09-29T19:30:07.847" Score="9" ViewCount="7892" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is crawling and I need to install the baby gate that we got from the baby shower.  This will be installed onto the wall but before I do that I need to determine what direction I want it to swing. The directions say I need to determine this now before I make holes in the wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will be at the top of the stairs.  I can have it swing both directions, or just one.  If I do just one direction, should it open &quot;onto the landing&quot; or out over the stairs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine that forcing it to be only open onto the landing would be a little safer but it might be more convenient to have it swing both directions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1336" LastEditorUserId="3122" LastEditDate="2013-10-01T07:19:50.737" LastActivityDate="2015-10-03T19:56:28.840" Title="What direction should baby gate swing when installed at top of stairs?" Tags="|safety|crawling|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9012" CreationDate="2013-09-29T20:19:33.857" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;We mounted ours to open onto the landing, &lt;strong&gt;away from the stairs.&lt;/strong&gt; We believe this has the following benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's &lt;strong&gt;safer&lt;/strong&gt; when it's not fully closed: if the locking mechanism hasn't really locked, so it is just leaned to, it still won't allow the child to fall down the stairs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's &lt;strong&gt;easier&lt;/strong&gt; to operate: especially when it's open, you don't have to reach into the air above the stairs to grab the gate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and the hand rail won't be in the way of the gate. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The drawback of course is that the gate swings onto the landing, so the landing must be big enough for the radius of the gate &lt;em&gt;plus&lt;/em&gt; you. And when it's open (when no kids are upstairs) it can be in the way. But that's a small price to pay for safety, and in a few years it will be gone for good anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T20:19:33.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9011" CreationDate="2013-09-29T21:15:47.033" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strike&gt;I've learned&lt;/strike&gt; I'm still learning that one of the most important differences between children and parents is that parents are generally able to recognize that they can delay meeting their own needs for a short while. Kids can't do that. Kids need their parents &lt;em&gt;now,&lt;/em&gt; or at least they think they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As parents, we must help our children to &lt;strong&gt;tell the difference&lt;/strong&gt; between which of their needs are really immediate (an open wound) and which are not (hungry). I know that a two-year old can't tell the difference. A three-year-old can, but only if it's been trained. A seven-year-old must have enough self-control to be patient for ten or even thirty minutes. It all depends on the time frame. With small kids, parents have almost no flexibility except that for instance I'll allow myself an urgent bathroom break before changing a diaper. Older kids can be kept waiting longer, and even for bigger issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's all on the &quot;micro&quot; time scale though. Zooming out some, parents also need some bigger time periods for themselves. I don't mean two weeks in the Bahamas and leaving the toddlers at home, of course, but you can't &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; but the kids first. There needs to be &lt;strong&gt;time to recharge,&lt;/strong&gt; time for renewal, for retrospection - and that can't be done in  a quick bathroom break. &lt;strong&gt;This is important and needs to be planned&lt;/strong&gt; or else it will be drowned out in the noise of everyday life. Again, when you've got small kids you can usually get away from them for an hour or three, if you got someone to cover. Bigger kids can be left in the care of extended family for a few days while the parents take a few nights at a spa resort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, the hardest part is to think coolly in a heated situation. It takes mental capacity to remember that &lt;em&gt;I can relax when he's in bed; right now his needs are more important than mine.&lt;/em&gt; Parenting is an ongoing sacrifice, and it can be hard to accept that sacrifice in the heat of the moment, despite we as adults and parents having more capacity to cope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T21:15:47.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9009" CreationDate="2013-09-29T21:32:23.193" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two issues here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At what age can an infant recognise individuals&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How does an infant show they recognise an individual&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you say she didn't seem to be affected by your presence, this does not mean when didn't recognise you. Babies of that age are more adaptable to having their needs met. It is not until closer to six months that they start showing symptoms of separation anxiety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going to answer this purely from personal experience, rather than citing scientific research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it's worth noting recognition can be made from many levels: sight, sound, touch, smell, taste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to speak from personal experience. My babies were all born premature (33, 32, 34 weeks respectively). They were all put into the NICU.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would discover my first baby crying in the humidicrib and whenever anyone handled him, except me. I spent hours sitting by the humidicrib (and became so sleep deprived it warrants discussion elsewhere! lol) with my hand in the crib and he would hold my finger and stop crying. When the nurses changed his nappy (diaper) he would cry, when I changed him, he was relaxed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time he was taken out of the humidicrib for me to hold he was swaddled. He struggled and finally got his hand free from the swaddling and held my finger. I was astounded at the time and still am, it seemed to me that he wanted to hold my finger, as that was how we'd been communicating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now whether it was my voice, or some other instinct, this baby, that was technically minus 7 weeks old in development, behave as if he knew who I was from the get go. However, how do we really know it was me he was recognising, or responding to the way I talked to him and the way I handled him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My next two babies didn't show this preference for any person until they were older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best friend had her third and I had my second at the the same time (they had the same due date, except my son was 8 weeks premature). She had to go back to work and left her three month old daughter with me. I breast fed her baby and when she returned from work (her breasts were very full), her baby was full at the moment and my son wasn't. So she fed my son (4.5 months old). Neither baby seemed to show any difference between which mother was feeding them. Does this mean they didn't recognise us. I'm sure they did know who we were. They had both spent time with each of us, but I think they would've taken the breast from any nursing mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not until babies are more expressive that we are able to know for sure (as a parent) that they are happy to see us, which is how we interpret that they recognise us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that you care enough to write about your daughter, demonstrates that you put in the required effort to form a bond with her; and I believe you can rest assured, she recognises you and it won't be too many more weeks and she will be able to show this to you more definitively.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T21:32:23.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9000" CreationDate="2013-09-29T21:52:56.160" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This behaviour sounds within the limits of normal three year old behaviour. Not all three year old have tantrums like this, but some do. My second son had severe tantrums like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always say that children don't become &quot;human&quot; until they're four (tongue in cheek of course). At four we are able to reason with them (they don't always respond to this though). They grasp the notion of consequences so you can say, if you do &lt;strong&gt;this&lt;/strong&gt;, I will do &lt;strong&gt;that&lt;/strong&gt;. When this occurs on a few occasions they start to think before they do &lt;strong&gt;this&lt;/strong&gt; again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they are three they are at the height of maximum physical ability and least reason (although this can seem debatable when we examine the behaviour of some teenagers and even some adults).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found, the only effective way to handle these tantrums is to physically remove the child from the situation into a timeout or safer area. Smacking will not usually help an already enraged toddler, except perhaps a tap on the back of the hand to admonish the offending hand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Picking the child up, saying firmly (and perhaps loudly, if they are screaming) as you do, &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt; and just remove them, as best you can from the situation, to a place where there is less objects to throw and no one is within hitting distance. Keep repeating this (ad nauseum) until they turn four and you can start to see the progress. :7)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I don't think many three year old grasp the explanations; I'd keep it really simple, and would regard this type of post mortem as an exercise in practising for when the child is more able to grasp and process consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T21:52:56.160" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8301" CreationDate="2013-09-29T21:58:44.687" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't believe some of the responses, talking about the poor child tabooed and negativity, poor parents, I'm sure they won't want to post anything again, I also have a 3 year old boy who does not like to let go of his poop and I can certainly say all he has been given is praise and I'm sure he will grow out of it, my daughter did the exact same thing at his age and was on movicol over a year, both had great diets, drank plenty of fluids etc, she eventually grew out of it, all I can say is yes it's hard going and can be frustrating as we know they know that they need to poop and hopefully in the toilet, I'm sure your little boy will grow out of it just like mine will, explain to the nursery about him on his medication, I'm sure you will find that they have dealt with the situation before, take care and I hope wish you luck and I just want to highlight that I'm sure your doing the best you can by your son, otherwise you would never of made the post in the first place. X&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4868" LastActivityDate="2013-09-29T21:58:44.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9011" CreationDate="2013-09-30T02:14:19.583" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;For me, it boils down to recognizing the difference between importance and urgency.  Things can be both important and urgent, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, or neither important nor urgent.  You should prioritize them in that order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping a screaming infant is both important and urgent.  You drop everything to help as soon as possible.  Reading a book to your 4 year-old is important, but not urgent.  A parent's need for some alone time is equally important, so it's okay to postpone the book reading for a while when you need a break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents get burned out when they treat every request their child makes as urgent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing I've found is I can often make compromises so my interests align with my children's.  For example, sometimes I &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; need some peace and quiet, but my kids want to spend time with me, so I'll condition it on them watching quietly.  We each make a small sacrifice instead of just the parent making a bigger one.  When the parents are the only ones sacrificing that makes for burned out parents and entitled kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-09-30T02:14:19.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6709" CreationDate="2013-09-30T03:52:18.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rules I would set with giving my child a phone:  (I drew inspiration from &lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/US/massachusetts-mom-son-sign-18-point-agreement-iphone/story?id=18094401&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a news story&lt;/a&gt;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't text and drive. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I call you and you don't call back, I will&#xA;worry, so you need to return my phone calls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't use the phone&#xA;when you are supposed to be doing something else (dinner, in class,&#xA;etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(If there are billing limits) Don't use the phone more than the amount I want to pay for in terms of minutes, texts or internet&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't use the phone to make, receive or view pornography or other material of which we, your parents, would disapprove&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a number of things that relate to the phone that play on rules in other areas (call if you will be out later than time x, be polite, don't gossip) which should hopefully have already been taught in those other areas and continue to be taught.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3837" LastActivityDate="2013-09-30T03:52:18.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6745" CreationDate="2013-09-30T04:57:56.173" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My father-in-law used to offer that if they tried the new food and the child didn't like it, they could spit it out in his hand.  I'm told he rarely had to make good on this offer.  But the concept of getting to do this was motivating enough that his daughters tried new things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3837" LastActivityDate="2013-09-30T04:57:56.173" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9012" CreationDate="2013-09-30T08:49:06.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is any one correct answer here, it all depends on the design of your particular gate, stairs and landing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, we don't close the gate when we're downstairs (because if the toddler did make it upstairs without us noticing, we want her to be able to get on to the landing and not be thwarted by a gate!) so the gate is only closed when we're upstairs. Given this and the design of our particular stairs and landing, it only makes sense for the gate to open &quot;outwards&quot; over the stairs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[I should add that our gate is NOT a pressure-mounted gate, and I would not use a pressure-mounted gate at the top of stairs in general. Ours is bolted into the wall.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited again to add a picture: &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Lf4ma.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Lf4ma.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;stairs and landing layout&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The top stair is large and square (like a mini landing) and then when you come round the corner you are immediately at the door to the bathroom. The green line on the picture is where there is a balustrade rail preventing anyone falling off the edge of the landing. As you can see, if we had fitted the gate to open &quot;inwards&quot; onto the landing it would have clashed with the bathroom door. However, having it open outwards over the stairs wasn't an enormous risk in this situation because of that large flat top stair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastEditorUserId="1477" LastEditDate="2015-10-03T19:56:28.840" LastActivityDate="2015-10-03T19:56:28.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8984" CreationDate="2013-09-30T18:00:31.707" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;WWooowww... Mirror image of my own situation, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6783/need-suggestions-on-how-to-deal-with-my-11yo-in-school&quot;&gt;see my post&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no answer, but I have suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I came to the conclusion that puberty, social trailblazing and the change in the properties of school all kind of combined to make this kind of &quot;what the hell is going on in my life!&quot; soup for my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing that seems to have worked to a point with my daughter is giving her a focus. She likes to draw, both digital and sketching, so we've all kinda unofficially centered around that. It has become the nexus for rewards based on school performance. She has a graphic tablet, a nice set of colored pencils, sketchbooks, markers, I even installed The Gimp (graphics program) and showed her how to use it. Each attained as an individual 'attaboy' for primarily school but general performance as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said, it seems to have worked to a point. The way I look at it is this: If I'm buying a Coke at quiktrip, and I see that the 32oz cup is now 89c instead of 99c, that's a bonus. &quot;but can I have it free?&quot; No, stupid... &lt;em&gt;shutup&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;strong&gt;Free would be perfect, but 89c is better than &lt;em&gt;NOT&lt;/em&gt; 89c.&lt;/strong&gt; Take it for what it is and work to make it better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not expecting her to cut it out all together. That would be an unattainable utopian goal and potentially damaging to my relationship. But she's doing better and that's better than NOT doing better. Beyond that we're taking it one step at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think, however, that this is working for us because it developed organically. At some point I noticed that she was developing a skill as a sketch artist. She admitted that she wanted some pencils and a good sharpener. $7 later, she was happily doodling away on anime. I suddenly realized that I had a carrot and stick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think this might work with you, do not try to force it. Notice yourself what she's into and then lightly use it as motivation. Saying &quot;if you do this in school, i'll get you a Thing.&quot; is transparent and will get you NO traction. What I've done is talk about the positive things, then when she does something positive I &quot;surprise&quot; her with a Thing. It didn't take long for her to figure it out and feel like she is one step ahead of me. &quot;If I do this, that fool will buy me a Thing! I've got him aaaalll figured out.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway this is what has had a modicum of success for me. If you try it, I hope you have some success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-09-30T18:00:31.707" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9012" CreationDate="2013-10-01T06:45:14.180" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adding a bit more to Torben's answer...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every baby gate instruction manual and resource I've read stresses that they should be installed to open &lt;strong&gt;away&lt;/strong&gt; from the stairs. In doing a bit of looking around, this is most simply put on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.evenflo.com/resource.aspx?id=148&amp;amp;rcid=45&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Evenflo&lt;/a&gt; site: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;To avoid baby pushing through a gate and falling down the stairs, a safety gate, at the top of stairs, should be hardware mounted on both ends and limited to swing open in one direction - away from stairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most baby gates, if it opens over the stairs, the only thing holding it closed and stopping it from swinging open is pressure, and a child’s body weight can easily dislodge a pressure mount gate causing both to fall down the stairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, most (possibly all?) baby gate products also have the recommendation to &quot;never leave children unsupervised&quot; around the gates - I especially recommend following this, since kids are often quicker to learn than you might think - both of ours tried to climb over gates before they were 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2013-10-01T06:45:14.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9026" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9027" CreationDate="2013-10-01T12:07:03.250" Score="3" ViewCount="86" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever you go outdoors for a stroller walk or car ride etc., you must pack some essential items, for instance:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diapers &amp;amp; towels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Extra clothing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Food &amp;amp; water&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Medicines&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Favorite toys&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finding these things and making sure they are packed could take forever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;What is the best way to minimize the time it takes to pack these things before going out?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4172" LastEditorUserId="4172" LastEditDate="2013-10-01T12:12:10.193" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T08:58:32.213" Title="Minimize time to pack child's things" Tags="|outdoor|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9026" CreationDate="2013-10-01T13:17:07.070" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a bag that is always packed with diapers, wipes, food pouches, crackers, sippy cup, a bowl, fork &amp;amp; spoon, and a couple of small toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before leaving the house we do a quick survey of the bag and make sure that it includes enough of everything for the trip we are taking which only takes a minute or 2 to replenish anything running low.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping the bag ready to go has not been a big deal for us, I haven't really put much thought into it lately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2013-10-01T13:17:07.070" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9026" CreationDate="2013-10-01T17:41:20.660" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really doesn't take much time to pack a bag, even if it is empty to begin with. What you may find as a new parent is forgetting to pack an essential item, so the two steps to maintaining a baby bag with everything you need are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep it packed, as Dave suggested. Monitor the contents and &lt;strong&gt;remember to stock up&lt;/strong&gt; when you are getting low on wipes etc&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have an inventory list. Either in the bag or on your fridge/noticeboard so you know what you need. Without a list, sometimes it can be difficult to remember some item - especially if you have been up all night with a screaming child and can't even remember your own name :-)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-10-01T17:41:20.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9030" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-01T18:37:24.863" Score="3" ViewCount="1530" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5-year-old grandson came for visitation and he's very smart.  He had a lump on his forehead and is stuttering.  He always speaks in complete sentences. Like &quot;May I have that cookie&quot;, or &quot;Pop Pop I would like bacon, dippy (fired (eggs and potatoes please&quot;.  This Friday, he was unable to ask for a cookie, and was stuttering like I I I I I or EEEEEEE.  He wanted a drink, which he usually states, &quot;Can I have apple juice&quot;, or &quot;watermamen&quot; (his way of saying watermelon).  But Saturday, he was stuttering IIII EEEEEE and he would suddenly holler cup!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mentioned to the &lt;strong&gt;mom&lt;/strong&gt;, but she said she would pay more attention, I am worried.  She went away out of state and I do not know if he is ok.  She doesn't get along with my son much. Should we be concerned?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4872" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-08-27T12:28:04.957" LastActivityDate="2019-08-27T15:23:01.157" Title="Should we be concerned about our 2.5-year-old grandson suddenly stuttering?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|speech|grandparents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9030" CreationDate="2013-10-01T21:45:00.080" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It could be a symptom of brain injury, or it could be completely benign&amp;mdash;a result of stress, being tired, or just the natural evolution of his language skills.  Sometimes kids that age start trying to imitate adults by talking just as fast, but their oral motor skills aren't developed enough yet.  They also aren't very aware yet of how their speech sounds to others.  To him, it might sound perfectly fine in his head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way to be &lt;em&gt;sure&lt;/em&gt; it's not brain injury is to go to the ER and get an MRI.  However, usually you would see the speech problems constantly, and usually there would be one or more other symptoms as well, like vomiting, falling over, spacing out, lethargy, fever, etc.  My daughter occasionally gets these attacks due to a brain injury when she was born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally would rather be safe than sorry, but in your shoes I wouldn't stay awake worrying if his mother isn't concerned.  Two year-olds talk funny sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-01T21:45:00.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9033" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-01T22:13:30.390" Score="10" ViewCount="6039" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child just entered third grade, and the homework load is much higher this year, with a lot of writing and math drills. It is all work that she can do easily, but it's causing the whole family a lot of pain, because she's have a really hard time just sitting down and doing it — asking many questions about things she clearly actually knows, and getting distracted by the smallest thing going on around her. (Setting up a special quiet area isn't helping, because the distractions could be her pencil or a sudden burst of word association based on something in the lesson.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, a page of writing and a couple of pages of math which could be done in fifteen minutes total is taking an hour and a half. She can easily explain the reasoning behind the math problems, but when it comes to &lt;em&gt;writing down&lt;/em&gt; what she just said, it's like pulling teeth. She'll slowly write a word, sounding it out in slow motion as she writes each word. And she'll say that she doesn't understand a question, but when she actually gets her mind pointed at it, she can write a great answer. And she's clearly picking up the concepts in class; I have no doubt that she actually understands, which is part of our frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife feels like she's just wanting attention, but I think it's more about our daughter's own ability to focus. We both feel that sitting down and working painfully through each question isn't really helping her. That &lt;em&gt;works&lt;/em&gt;, but my wife feels like it's just rewarding the behavior, and I feel like it's not really helping her learn any better focus on her own, which, you know, she'll need in &lt;em&gt;actual life&lt;/em&gt;. And, we're happy to spend child with our kid, this pretty much the opposite of &lt;em&gt;quality&lt;/em&gt; time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither rewards or consequences seem to have any effect, and nor do charts. All of those things basically just seem to add another layer of complication, distraction, and misery. What else can we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="178" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T20:28:10.500" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T20:28:10.500" Title="How do I help my third-grader focus on homework?" Tags="|primary-schooler|homework|attention|focus|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6745" CreationDate="2013-10-01T22:50:55.970" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had good success with a &quot;New Food Points&quot; system. This is a chart where they get half a point for &quot;tasting&quot; a new food, one point for &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; trying, and five points for eating a new food all up. Then, a certain number of points can be cashed in for an eventual reward. (We try to avoid on-the-fly bribery as a general principle, but for us at least this kind of &lt;em&gt;planned&lt;/em&gt; bribery is totally worth it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the science is pretty good on the idea that simply trying things early on is the road to a varied appreciation of foods later. We &lt;a href=&quot;http://health.usnews.com/health-news/articles/2012/06/28/childrens-cereal-healthy-start-or-junk-food&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;read once&lt;/a&gt; that it takes an average of 14 tries to learn to like a new food — I don't know if that's really a magic number, but the important thing is that it really does take a long time to adapt, and so we keep offering and making available without pushing. And after several years of this, as a family we can happily go out as a family for Indian, Thai, sushi, and more; not to mention pretty good success with vegetables from the farmer's market.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="178" LastActivityDate="2013-10-01T22:50:55.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9035" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-01T23:19:02.800" Score="2" ViewCount="246" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 1/2 coming up three in a few months and she occasionally wakes up screaming in pain saying she hurts in her private area and claws at herself, she cant seem to stay still and seems to be in a lot of pain. I've tried everything to talk her and nothing works, sometimes I'm up for hours with her. it isn't in a routine as such just every couple of weeks or months apart. anyone have any idea what it could be, I'm very worried. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4874" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T06:49:00.053" Title="why does my daughter wake up in pain clawing at herself?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9033" CreationDate="2013-10-02T03:02:34.003" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on the information in the question, there are a few approaches I would consider taking:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continue providing the &quot;quiet environment&quot; to work in, and gradually wean yourselves away from staying with her and helping the entire time.  Specifically, remove yourself from her work area for increasing amounts of time, with the idea that eventually she's working by herself for the most part, with you popping in now and then to help refocus if necessary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her feel some of the consequences of not finishing the work - either your consequences (something you'll follow through on), or school imposed consequences.  That way it can be framed in terms of a choice she made, and is given responsibility for the outcome.  Perhaps even make it a race (finish early and get some sort of token prize?), though this last part might be better for younger children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've used combinations of these on our kids (ours are younger, though they are also very easily distracted) to help them focus on tasks we want them to do (cleaning up toys, helping with chores, etc) and now with our oldest, we are applying it to schoolwork.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T03:02:34.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9035" CreationDate="2013-10-02T04:10:32.173" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should have your daughter evaluated by your doctor, as it could be any of a number of things. Start a journal where you log her symptoms by date, what time they start and when they subside, and any details you notice. The more information you have, the easier it will be for your doctor to make a diagnosis. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T04:10:32.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9030" CreationDate="2013-10-02T04:24:16.707" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my kids did this on a trip to his grandparents! Off I went to a book store to read Penelope Leach who assured me that it was probably temporary and would go away on its own if we didn't focus on it, and she was right. It resolved in a month or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stutteringhelp.org/faqs-about-stuttering&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;stutteringhelp.org&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Some 20 percent of all children go through a stage of development&#xA;  during which they encounter disfluencies severe enough to be a concern&#xA;  to their parents. Approximately 5 percent of all children go through a&#xA;  period of stuttering that lasts six months or more. Three-quarters of&#xA;  those will recover by late childhood, leaving about 1% with a&#xA;  long-term problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...If the stuttering persists beyond three to six months or is&#xA;  particularly severe, you may want to seek help from a speech-language&#xA;  pathologist who specializes in stuttering...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T04:24:16.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9035" CreationDate="2013-10-02T06:49:00.053" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Mary Jo says, &lt;strong&gt;let a doctor evaluate this.&lt;/strong&gt; This site is useful for parenting advice but your situation sounds like a medical condition and you should not blindly trust medical advice you read online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be a fungus or an inflammation; that can itch or even give a burning sensation. Not uncommon with kids, especially if she still uses a diaper. That's easily treated with an ointment, but the doctor will know how to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T06:49:00.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8993" CreationDate="2013-10-02T07:45:16.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;h1&gt;&amp;quot;More&amp;quot;&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Bunch your fingers together, on both hands, and tap em together. It's a gross motor skill which makes it 'best' in my opinion.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience with this was . . . surprising. I'm not much on ASL, but my first wife worked with disabled and was 'proficient' so i was a more than a bit familiar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day, my 2 yr old walked over to me sitting at the computer, dropped a Smarties wrapper &lt;em&gt;on my mousepad&lt;/em&gt;, GRABBED my mouse arm, then put bunched up fingers to palm... tap tap tap. Pretty clear... he wanted more Smarties. What the hell was i gonna do except get the little knucklehead more smarties?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had no idea where he learned it, hence my, well... SHOCK. Come to find out they'd been teaching ASL at his daycare. It makes sense that 2 yr olds have the mentality to communciate that is more complex than their physical capabilities will allow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yeah. . . I vote for &amp;quot;more&amp;quot;. (because of more than a little personal attachment)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T07:45:16.330" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8993" CreationDate="2013-10-02T13:08:22.567" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I disagree with your book's suggestion. Children don't learn spoken language by their parents focusing specifically on one word until that's mastered. Instead, learn a small group of simple signs and use them consistently. Just as with a child's first spoken words, the first sign can be individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The practical signs like those people have suggested:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;change&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;help&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;are great, but I really suggest adding in a few observational signs which may have no &quot;practical&quot; importance:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dog&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bird&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ball&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;car&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once when my daughter was one, before she had any spoken words, we were in the subway station. We had been near the waterfront, and she had been signing about the birds there. In the station, she suddenly started signing &quot;bird&quot; very emphatically. I laughed and said that there weren't any birds underground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She kept doing it, and I started to think that maybe she was signing &quot;milk&quot; (since she was small, her versions of the signs were kind of similar — they're both open/close motions and hand position is difficult), but she shook her head to that and signed more, and pointed at up at a light in the rafters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I laughed and said &quot;That's a light, not a bird&quot; — but then I realized that there were actually two small sparrows perched there. So I told her that she was right and that I should not have doubted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here, no needs were met or &lt;em&gt;particular&lt;/em&gt; purpose served, but yet we had a nice shared moment of communication. I don't think this would have happened (at least not so soon) if we'd just been focused on &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;milk&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="178" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T13:08:22.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9033" CreationDate="2013-10-02T16:34:06.813" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a difficult problem because you can lead a horse to water, but can't make him drink.  Every child is different, but we've found the following to help our son:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give him what he wants, but put conditions on it.  We have a quiet, distraction-free area upstairs for our son to do school work, but he &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; hates being alone.  We let him stay downstairs with the family where he can ask questions and get feedback, &lt;strong&gt;as long as&lt;/strong&gt; he stays on task and works quickly without whining about how hard it is.  It's amazing how well just the threat motivates him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Redirect his focus from something that motivates him.  For example, our son is obsessed with ninjas.  He wanted to write about ninjas, so I let him.  He wrote, &quot;Ninjas can fit.&quot;  I told him the right way to spell &quot;fight&quot; and had him practice writing that along with other -ight words.  He ended up doing something kind of boring, but didn't realize it because I had hijacked his motivation about ninjas.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes the prospect of &quot;all that homework&quot; is overwhelming.  Try allowing breaks for smaller rewards after each page, or half a page, instead of only after everything is done.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try doing the homework at a different time of day.  If you do it right before bed, she might be stretching it out to get a de facto later bedtime, or she might be too tired to concentrate.  Our son works amazingly quickly when we say he can't have dinner until he's finished.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a &quot;get the wiggles out&quot; activity before and/or in between pages of work.  We have our son do jumping jacks or laps around the house.  He acts silly, expends some energy, then has an easier time focusing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-02T16:34:06.813" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9026" CreationDate="2013-10-03T08:58:32.213" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem with a standard bag is that all items end up in a muddle and you have to dig deep to verify that something is in it. If you have many small items (such as medicines), this is really a pain. It usually results in all objects being thrown out on the floor in frustration, or that you put something in the bag that already is there -- resulting in an ever-growing bag. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For this reason, I'm considering buying a &lt;a href=&quot;http://outdoorsadvice.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Fishing-Bag-300x300.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fishing bag&lt;/a&gt; which has lots of compartments (including layers of plastic boxes for smaller items such as medicines), where you easily can store items so you quickly know where to find them. That such a bag is waterproof doesn't hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4172" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T08:58:32.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9046" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9051" CreationDate="2013-10-03T09:41:15.433" Score="33" ViewCount="3524" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three children 12, 13 and 19 and their father committed suicide 10 years ago (when they were 1, 3 and 9).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have suffered through many childhood taunts, at times, including:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Your father killed himself because he didn't want to look after you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents have prevented their children from playing with my kids, as they didn't like the association with someone who had committed suicide. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest son has finished school, but my younger two have just started and is about to start high school. This means making new friends and meeting new parents of their friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though, his death was a long time ago, we are still faced with the problem when people, naturally, ask how their Dad (my husband) died. There were times when I drilled them to lie and say he died of a heart attack. The other day I took a deep breath and told another mother, that he committed suicide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of any medical providers, schools etc, it is vital that they are aware of the nature of their father's death.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any good ideas of how to deal with this? I don't want to encourage my children to lie and feel ashamed of something that was in no way their fault; at the same time, I want to protect them from unnecessary social isolation or the stigma that suicide still has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T18:38:26.457" LastActivityDate="2013-11-12T03:53:45.380" Title="How to handle disclosing a parent's suicide to friends and their parents" Tags="|teen|social-development|death|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9047" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9062" CreationDate="2013-10-03T10:24:21.287" Score="21" ViewCount="2725" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've asked another question here:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/9046/how-to-handle-disclosing-a-parents-suicide-to-friends-and-their-parents&quot;&gt;How to handle disclosing a parent&amp;#39;s suicide to friends and their parents&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that this question here:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1050/what-are-some-strategies-for-helping-children-cope-with-divorce&quot;&gt;What are some strategies for helping children cope with divorce?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems many children can be badly affected by the perceived or real &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-many-faces-addiction/201006/understanding-the-pain-abandonment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;abandonment&lt;/a&gt; of a parent/s.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my children were 1, 3 and 9, their father committed suicide. It was sudden, one day he left home for work, then he never returned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My youngest was pre-verbal and my second child was also unable to have discussions like I could with my oldest child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As children can have a tendency to feel blame for being abandoned, as can been seen in &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/help_child_divorce.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;divorce&lt;/a&gt;, there is the added issue of my children feeling inadequate, at fault of somehow intrinsically unlovable as a result of their father taking his own life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from professional help does anybody have some sound advice or strategies to deal with children with such abandonment issues? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-24T13:00:01.443" LastActivityDate="2019-04-24T13:00:01.443" Title="How to help children cope with a parent's suicide?" Tags="|toddler|middle-childhood|single-parent|death|coping|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8169" CreationDate="2013-10-03T10:27:00.313" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually, it's 1 year. But for us when our lo turned 1, his ped recommended to keep giving him formula for another year, along with regular milk. So, he is getting mix of both currently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4867" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T10:27:00.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7545" CreationDate="2013-10-03T10:33:52.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler is also at the age where he is throwing temper tantrums once in a while. We were so nervous on how to handle him at some specific locations, like out in the public, at the malls. But we are also doing the same things explained above by many parents. Sitting down to his level, and saying in firm words, not to do certain things, helps a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Distracting him works sometimes too. I read this article on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewomentalk.com/lifestyle/5-simple-tips-dealing-toddler-tantrums&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to Handle Temper Tantrums&lt;/a&gt; and lot of it makes sense. You have to understand where your child is coming from. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4867" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T10:33:52.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9046" CreationDate="2013-10-03T11:02:35.527" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;When all else fails, they can fall back on a version of Miss Manner's timeless response, &quot;I'm sorry, that's just not possible.&quot;  In this case, something along the lines of &quot;I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about it,&quot; or &quot;This subject is still painful for me, can we talk about something else?&quot; might be useful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't expect everyone to have manners and not talk about it when your kids ask them to, but repeating this over and over, no matter what is asked, will at least teach the asker they're not going to get any other answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rude people think they're entitled to the information. They're not. A terse refusal can make them think &quot;oooh, a family secret!&quot; that they'll try to wheedled out of the kids, or make up on their own if they can't.  But a polite refusal, emphasizing the discomfort the child feels when discussing the subject, leaves them without a leg to stand on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And some kept their children from playing with yours because your childrens' father committed suicide?  Sheesh.  At least it saves you the trouble of finding out what miserable excuses for human beings those people are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T11:02:35.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9046" CreationDate="2013-10-03T11:08:21.933" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;To directly answer your question: if the topic comes up a potentially good answer would be &quot;well my father/husband passed away a long time ago&quot;. The &quot;a long time ago&quot; basically indicates that this is in the past and has no immediate bearing on the present. It also indicates that the case is closed and you don't want to discuss this further. Most people will get the message. Now if you run into some insensitive idiot who still probes &quot;Oh wow, how did that happen&quot;, you can easily deflect this with: &quot;If you don't mind I'd rather talk about something else&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A second thought: This has obviously been a horrible experience for you and your children. Given that you posted two questions here in quick succession could be an indicator that you are still deeply struggling with this. Please make sure that you and your children get all the professional help you can to get you through this traumatic experience. Best of luck! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastEditorUserId="3527" LastEditDate="2013-10-09T23:23:48.500" LastActivityDate="2013-10-09T23:23:48.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8984" CreationDate="2013-10-03T11:18:32.003" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting, I am faced with a similar situation, except I am the mother and I consult with my 19 year old son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Warning: there is no easy solution and to create a change takes consistent and extended more effort&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have three children:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Two sons, 19 and 13.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A daughter 12.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their father died 10 years ago, so no father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been going through this with both younger children, more so my 13 year old son, but as he plays up, so does his sister (case of monkey see monkey do ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly I will relate my experiences with my 13 yo son then move onto my daughter (as I have found they need to be managed differently).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;13 yo son&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 13 yo son came home with the worse school report card, ever. Even he was ashamed of it, and it's &quot;cool&quot; for his bunch of friends to do no work. He was raging at every boundary I would make. Swearing, damaging things and wouldn't listen. He wanted to be homeschooled (he hated starting high school), was on facebook chat, was playing online games and chatting to people for hours, started a youtube account and uploading videos, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Solution:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;first defence, electronic bans&lt;/strong&gt;. I installed family safety on all our electronic devices. I, temporarily, closed his facebook account, I permanently closed hi youtube account. He has no access to online gaming. This I did over some months. If he didn't do his chores, was rude, swearing, aggressive, he lost all internet privileges, except the urls needed for homework. He would earn time and url access with good behaviour.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;His behaviour has improved I am buying him more credit for his mobile phone, but paying the extra for smart controls, so I can create a blacklist and whitelist for incoming and outgoing calls.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;second defence, social bans&lt;/strong&gt;. I regard this as a more severe and less preferred punishment, as I believe my children's social networks are important for their emotional health and development. I have only banned one of my son's friends from his life.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;third defence, positive activity&lt;/strong&gt;. My oldest (19 yo) son teaches and trains martial arts for a living. He has asked me to bring his brother in 6 days a week for training, twice a day in the school holidays. This has been brilliant for filling the void created by removing counter-productive activities. It has helped instilled discipline, he has the role models of older males and it is physically active, and so tires him out and a great release of aggression.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;12 yo daughter&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my daughter is a little trickier, as her needs are not in such great accord as the two boys. However, she still craves time with and the attention and approval of her eldest brother (contrary to her transient protestations).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically I have followed the same principles with her as with my younger son. The differences being:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't do as much martial art training, as she is younger, and so unable to do the adult classes. In this time I have offered her coaching with her homework, or some mummy daughter time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I have not banned her socially, as she had a tendency to be socially isolated, except for the influence of one friend. An older girl, who had attitude, plus, plus. I noticed her attitude and behaviour deteriorating when she was in touch with this girl. She was identifying with the &quot;older&quot; girl and trying to behave &quot;grown up&quot;. I have carefully steered her away from the &quot;popular&quot; girls over the past few years and, successfully, encouraged her  to mix with a group of girls who are a little more innocent.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We will &quot;window shop&quot; online. However, I buy her clothes online, when she is not home. This way I know what she likes, but can maintain a manageable dress code, as the girls want to mimic the older girls and wear clothes, I believe, are too &quot;sexual&quot; for this age group.. (and in fact any age group). It's a hard knack at trying to sell this angle to a young teenage girl, I know, but worth the perseverance.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She gets very emotional and when she gets into a state, cannot be reasoned with. So I wait until she is calm and then chat with her. I also try to implement cause and effect consequence type punishments. Example: If her room is a disaster and such a mess, I cannot discern clean washing from dirty, and she has not put her uniform in the laundry (even though I have asked several times); she is faced with going to school on a Monday in a dirty uniform, that she has to spray with deodorant. This happened twice. She now has a tidy room.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If she gets worked  up because her hair is not &quot;perfect&quot;, I give her warnings, we are leaving in x minutes, and count it down. Ok we are leaving now. She'll scream and come in tow, but I explain to her, she needs to manage her time and sometimes accept that ripping out her hair bands and restyling her hair several times over a perceived imperfection, may not be a prudent use of time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am hoping you can use some of these. It will not be easy. It is easier than having increasingly hormonal teenagers becoming delinquent. It is important you and your mother are in accord on all matters. Do not disagree in front of your sister. My son and I discuss things privately. I keep him posted and he is calm and, luckily for us, an exceptional role model.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almost forgot. They must have completed homework to earn electronic privileges, and if they don't manage their homework, I don't bail them out, they have to wear the consequences of trouble at school. I do offer to help them, but they know they cannot ask me the night before, and if it's a project, they need to give me minimum, a weeks notice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best advice he gave me, was this:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Mum, I tell them to do things and they can't argue with me, because I'm doing it also.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T11:18:32.003" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7610" CreationDate="2013-10-03T11:23:36.247" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As somebody who was labelled as gifted from a young age, I have some advice from a different angle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I caused a lot of problems at school, right from nursery. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not let people keep telling your son how smart he is. Tell the teachers not to single him out for praise. Treat him the same as every other child. Doing so will encourage him to try harder to stand out in a positive way.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He likes the praise, who doesn't? But he doesn't like the teasing that no adult ever sees or hears. Children don't like to be called geeks, not early on anyway. Also, you may inadvertently give him a superiority complex, or may have done so already, which isn't healthy for anyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read something somewhere, that said you should not keep telling a child they are very smart, but instead give them praise &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; when they complete a task. It made a lot of sense to me, and I had a teacher who would do that for me, and she was my favourite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More likely than anything he doesn't want to stand out, he wants to fit in. Children tease each other when they're jealous of the praise that one receives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Challenge him with difficult tasks, designed for children above his age. When he completes them, &lt;strong&gt;do not do backflips&lt;/strong&gt;, just say &quot;well done&quot; and move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find him a mentor, or someone to look up to. More often than not, it will not be you that he looks up to. Additionally, it could really help for him to meet a child similar to himself, to work with them and be competitive. Together they can push each other, and whilst they're concentrating on difficult work, he won't have time to focus on being disruptive or trying to look cool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the love of God, do not place huge expectations on his shoulders, do not keep saying &quot;you could achieve great things&quot;, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;treat him like a normal child&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, maybe not yet, but in future, talk to him like an adult, but treat him like a child. He will understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not put him on a pedestal, if you do you're only setting him up for long fall if he makes mistakes.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;Challenge him&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could have been written far better, but I'm not a psychologist, I'm merely offering advice on what did or could've worked for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4877" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T11:23:36.247" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9054" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-10-03T11:43:38.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Death affects us all.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Many young children will ask the question of &quot;What happens when we die?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children, who have pets, will experience the death of a pet at some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children frequently experience the death of a grand parent, some a parent or a sibling. These all greatly impact the family unit and challenge the ability to parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The death of another child, friend or neighbour, also impacts children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are confronted with death through the media, whether it be within atrocities, war, or local news headlines. This can present issues for parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Death can create or enhance many complex emotional, mental, spiritual, cultural and social difficulties. It can be regarded as a somewhat &lt;em&gt;taboo&lt;/em&gt; subject within some societies, which can be challenging when parenting  children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-03T12:09:53.980" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T12:09:53.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9055" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-10-03T11:43:38.290" Score="0" Body="Questions dealing with death, whether it be a specific person or  pet, or a general discussion of how to broach this difficult subject with children." OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-03T12:10:01.060" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T12:10:01.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9056" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9058" CreationDate="2013-10-03T12:31:34.817" Score="9" ViewCount="650" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three-year-old son attends a small, in-home daycare.  The other kids in the daycare range from about 1 year to 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is one other boy my son's age, and the two of them are very good friends.  My son looks forward to going explicitly to play with the other boy, and when we ask him what he did at daycare on any given day, the answer is invariably a description of how the two of them played together, and what toys they played with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son frequently tells us that the other boy is his best friend, and the two of them apparently tell each other that throughout the day on a regular basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately... we recently found out that the other boy will be leaving daycare next week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've made attempts to arrange for the two of them to get together outside of daycare in the past, and the boy's mother (a single mother who is apparently having a hard time right now) has been generally unresponsive.  It seems unlikely that we'd be able to maintain any sort of contact once he leaves daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son isn't yet aware that the other boy will be leaving, but when he does, I know my son will be very upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help him through this?  Is there anything I should/can do to prepare him?  Should I tell him ahead of time, or wait until the other boy's last day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently the other boy is currently on a trip, and will return some time early next week, but then Friday is his last day.  They'll only have 3-4 days together before the other boy is gone for good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T11:10:13.577" Title="How do you prepare a pre-schooler for potentially permanent separation from a close friend?" Tags="|pre-schooler|friends|separation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9046" CreationDate="2013-10-03T13:35:11.577" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We adopted my son Michael out of foster care, which is a completely different situation, but also has a certain stigma attached.  People want to know how he ended up in foster care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we tell people is that is Michael's personal information to share or not share as he chooses, and that we will let him make that decision for himself when he is fully capable of understanding the ramifications.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, I would leave the decision to disclose or not up to the child who will have to deal with the fallout on a case by case basis.  Does that child trust the friend enough to neither use the information against him nor spread it to someone else who will?  I would tell the parent something like, &quot;That's a sensitive topic that I will leave up to my son to tell your son when he's ready.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Medical providers are a different story.  They are bound by confidentiality, trained to handle it delicately, and you never know when it may be relevant.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T13:35:11.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9056" CreationDate="2013-10-03T13:35:33.203" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;For your son:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly I would enquire with the daycare and ask if they are having a little farewell for the little boy, or, if at least, they will announce that it is his last day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would certainly mention it to your son before Friday, at least a couple of days before, but not too long, as it might just give him time to become anxious. (I'm assuming you are meaning Friday of next week, it's 11.30 pm Thurs night here, so I am not sure which Fri you are referring to.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the time that your son knows about the other boy leaving, you can use this time to make a card and a homemade present for his friend. I have found this to be therapeutic when my children are dealing with a loss of this kind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the daycare allows it, you could also buy some lollies aka candy for Friday to farewell his friend. Include your son in all these arrangements and it will help him feel a little control over the separation, as well as turning it into something that is a bit of fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would tell your son that sometimes people have to go to a different daycare, but you might see each other again. Or something to that effect, so that it doesn't have a finality about it, but also doesn't offer false promises of having plays outside daycare. Afterall, this is the truth, as it is surprising how often we can cross paths with people over a lifetime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For you: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always been pleased that my children form attachments to friends, but it is heartbreaking to see them missing someone they are close to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would look at this positively, that your son has formed such a nice attachment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, from your view point (only, and not your sons) you can think that this is an opportunity to help your son develop emotional skills to cope with this type of loss. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T13:35:33.203" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9060" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-03T17:06:59.400" Score="10" ViewCount="1680" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year-old is so stressed out about not getting enough sleep that she can't sleep. When school started, the teacher explained to them that is is important to get 10 hours of sleep a night because studies show people who sleep well live longer. Since then she has been waking up every night several times in tears because she's scared she's not getting enough sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several family members and the teacher have tried to explain to her that she's not going to die if she doesn't get 10 hours a night but she still wakes up in the middle of the night. I've tried letting her sleep in my room. I tried taking the clock out of her room but she just gets up and looks at the time in the kitchen. She used to sleep around 8-10 hours at a time and rarely woke up in the middle of the night. During the day she's cranky and emotional and will cry at the drop of a hat because she's so tired. Nothing I or anyone else says seems to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts on how I can can help her through this? Should I take her to a counsellor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4881" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-01-27T13:33:53.720" LastActivityDate="2019-01-28T21:48:27.230" Title="How to help my 8-year-old who can't sleep because she fears she doesn't get enough sleep?" Tags="|sleep|primary-schooler|fears|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9047" CreationDate="2013-10-03T17:36:59.953" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I am sorry for your loss. Even tho it was a while ago, that doesn't change the value of the loss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am an analytical parent. I ask questions and try to figure out why my kid did whatever they did. Sure they tell me they were hollering at their sibling because they did X, but the underlying reason is sometimes much stronger but goes unidentified with no effort made to understood it at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of what I'm going to say is not rocket science but it is the football in the football game and needs to be said aloud just so we're on the same page. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A personas mental foundation holds everything up. Everything. If the foundation has 'a problem' then the outward expressions, actions or verbiage, will have 'a problem'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice for coping is to make sure absolutely sure that you are a part of their core, their foundation. Not &quot;you know I'm here, you can always talk to me&quot;... that's surface. If you are part of the foundation, then that does not need to be said because it is understood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the adult, as the mother, you are the rock; you are an island of stability in whatever sea they sail. Again, that's no ancient tribal secret, but I still needs to be said aloud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been ten years, so I can't imagine you're going to hear anything here that you've not already heard or tried. However, confirmation can be comforting. I wish you luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2019-04-21T15:18:06.407" LastActivityDate="2019-04-21T15:18:06.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9047" CreationDate="2013-10-03T18:33:31.883" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no idea what any kind of &quot;best&quot; action could possibly be. What I would want to make sure of is that no matter what interaction I have with my kids about the death of their other parent I want to be clear what is happening inside me (and deal with that) from what is happening inside them (and help them deal with that). They are two different aspects of what's happening and they're easy to mix up...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would want to make sure I get lots and lots and lots of support from friends that I trust know how to listen - and I mean REALLY listen the way I like to be listened to. That means people who can sit in silence while I open my heart and who don't give me lots of advice as to how I can 'fix' myself (like they think I'm broken???) nor do they try to shut me down (you know, stuff like - &quot;there, there, I'm sure it will be OK&quot; - when of course I can't possibly see that). I want support from people who know how to listen and can help me validate what's going on in my world because that will help ground me (life for example the friend who can hear how upset I am and say to me - &quot;Shit... you must be really, really bent outta shape about this... you must be lost and confused...&quot;). After I get to talk to these kinds of people every day as long as I need it, then I'll have some kind of space to sit with my kids and offer them the same...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I sit with my kids I'd really want to offer them something they're not likely to get from the rest of their world - a space to just be themselves - whether that's really upset, really sad, really confused, or numb... And I'd want to listen and validate what's going on for them. I'd want to be super honest with them about what's going on for me (&quot;wow... when I hear you say how confused you are I get all torn up inside. I know how tough it is for me and imagining that it's going on for you it must be even tougher...&quot;). I'd sometimes get ideas about advice or things they can do to make things &quot;better&quot; - and I'd want to hold off sharing any of those things until I'm completely sure they've shared all they want to share with me. And then I'd ask if they'd like to hear of an idea I have that might help them. And if they said &quot;No&quot;, I'd respect that and bring it up again later if it was still important to me or drop it if it wasn't relevant then. And if they said &quot;Yes&quot;, I'd share my idea and ask them what they thought about it - and I'd listen again for what's going on inside of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is now 18 and he went through about 6 years that were pretty black and dark and tough for him. I found out he was really depressed and had a lot of suicidal thinking. He was living for a lot of that time in another country with his mother and when we talked on the phone and I asked how things were he didn't share with me the dark stuff. Last year he moved in with me and we began talking a lot about how things were for him. Now, after about a year with me listening to him in this way, he's a lot more open and shares a lot more of what's going on inside of him. He's faced a lot of what terrified him around other people and especially meeting new people and especially meeting young women he was attracted to. He shares these things now very openly and he seems genuinely much happier...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4883" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T18:33:31.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1050" CreationDate="2013-10-03T18:49:16.883" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;No matter what's going on for your kids the thing that is going to give them a huge help is if you don't mix up what's going on for you with what's going on for them. If you're worried about them, that is different than them being sad about their other parent suddenly being out of the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also - LISTEN... to them... as much as you can. Ask them what they think about the divorce. Ask them how they feel about it. And then listen... if they're pissed off with you - you're in luck. Listen... If you can try to validate what they're going through (&quot;Ok... I get that right now you'd really like your dad to be back here and you're upset because this is happening...&quot;). If you can DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY... because it's not about you - it's about them. If they can trust you to hear them and not take it personally they will tell you things that can be very healing and very supportive for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also want to get lots and lots and lots of support. To be heard for how incredibly rough it is for me. I'd want to have a whole handful of friends who really know how to listen. And I mean REALLY listen - the kind of listening where they don't offer advice how to fix me, or try to educate me about what a great life lesson this is, or console me that I'm better off without him, etc... But just hear what's going on for me - in my head and in my heart. And hopefully be able to just validate what's there for me - how upset I am, or how confused I am or how I just want to crush his stupid head in with a brick... Because if I can get this kind of listening support, I'll have a lot more room to listen to my kids. and if I listen to my kids, they'll get the resilience they need to find their OWN way through this confusing time...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I left my wife and two kids 10 years ago. My son is now 18 and daughter now 21. Back then I didn't know how to listen. I got really estranged from my kids because I was super worried about them and when I heard that they were depressed and suicidal I tried to help them and gave them lots of ideas what to do to be happier and... and... they stopped talking to me. After I while I started doing some lessons in how to listen (no really - it's a skill you can practice!!) and then when we talked I just listened. After a while they started to trust me and they started to share lots and lots of stuff with me. Eventually I got to the point where I could ask if they wanted advice from me. Most of the time they said &quot;No&quot;... and I respected them and dropped it until later. And if they said &quot;Yes&quot;, than I shared what I thought and asked them what they thought about the idea and listened some more. I also got good about sharing what was going on for me. That took much longer because since I'm a guy, emotional literacy took me years to figure out. But now my kids share very deeply and vulnerably with me about all the most important things that are going on for them - hopes and fears and dreams and challenges and triumphs...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your divorce can be a gateway into a deep and loving relationship with your kids... Use it...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4883" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T18:49:16.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9060" CreationDate="2013-10-03T18:57:54.193" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this sounds strange... but instead of trying to figure out what to say, I would instead listen to her - what is going on inside her, in her head and in her heart - her fears and her longings. And then validate them. It's real for her. Telling her more information isn't going to stop her from being afraid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daughter - mommy I'm terrified I'm going to die if I don't sleep enough... (tears, sniffle, sniffle)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You - aww sweetheart... I really hear that you're scared you might die! That must be incredibly rough for you... and I guess you're pretty sad, too, huh?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you wanted you could always share how it is for you (&quot;I'm confused what to do to help you sweetie... I know you're gonna be fine, but I don't know what to say to help you trust that.&quot;). But most of all I'd listen to her and really try to let her know that she is fine just the way she is - not by speaking those words to her - but by actions, by showing her that she doesn't need fixing, that you love her and don't need to make her be any different than she is...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4883" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T18:57:54.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2004" CreationDate="2013-10-03T19:03:53.253" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Clumsy Thief is a great game for 3rd-4th grade. It's a hilarious math game that kids seem to play over and over. I found it helpful for reinforcing simple double digit addition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4884" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T19:03:53.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9066" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-03T19:04:10.153" Score="10" ViewCount="336" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 18 year old son lives in another country. He's finishing up high school and he has a lot of things that go on in his personal life. It can be really hard to stay in touch. He rarely answers email I send him. Nor FaceBook messages. And it's hard to get him on skype. He does have a mobile, and he will answer it. But often I feel like I'm prying by asking him how things are and what's up...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realized my first formulation of this sounded like I was asking for concrete suggestions about what to do, and after getting a few answers I realize I'm looking more for other dads and sons to share their own experiences with what they lived through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4883" LastEditorUserId="4883" LastEditDate="2013-10-07T08:53:55.977" LastActivityDate="2022-08-03T08:12:41.393" Title="How did you maintain good contact when your child was far away?" Tags="|teen|communication|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9067" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-03T19:57:34.580" Score="6" ViewCount="5556" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the child not the parent - but it is still extremely relevant to my parents. My parents want to really think through what's the best option for my future. Me and my parents are considering home-school as an option and I think this decision is very dependant on the circumstances. The key reason for me taking home-school classes would be that I can't find any other options that allow the pace or level of learning that I'm at. I'm a senior and have a very low GPA (although I consistently get 4s on end of year tests) because I've tended to slack off at high-school since it felt so menial so I think that home-school could be advantageous because my GPA would not carry over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm currently working my way through &lt;em&gt;The Handbook of Mathematical Logic&lt;/em&gt; by John Barwise, a textbook in abstract algebra and category theory, and a graduate level textbook in theoretical physics. However my school is starting soon and I feel that in my case school is actually a massive detriment to my learning because it takes time away that I would be spending learning at a much more advanced level. I've also presented at one academic conference so far but I think without public school in the way it would give me time to do more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case what are my chances of getting into college with a home-school degree, and in what ways can I improve my chances? How will it increase chances if I get high ACT or SAT scores and how will it increase my chances if I use the extra time to submit a few papers at academic conferences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4885" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-17T12:43:51.020" LastActivityDate="2019-07-17T12:43:51.020" Title="Effect of homeschool on college chances?" Tags="|school|homeschooling|gifted|university|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9067" CreationDate="2013-10-03T20:28:51.780" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately college admission is a very confusing and opaque process which is quite different for any individual college so this is almost impossible to answer in general (assuming you are talking about college in the US).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend creating a list of colleges that you are interested, go there, view the campus, and talk directly to an admissions councilor. I'd do that as soon as possible: most students start the process in the summer break before the senior year. Admission deadlines for most private colleges are the end of the year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general high test score and low GPA can be a problem for many colleges since they sometimes interpret it as lots of talent without discipline or work ethic. Getting your GPA up is certainly useful. Conference papers could definitely be a positive differentiator but that depends on what the college is looking for what &quot;caliber&quot; the conference is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many private colleges look for a specific type of student. MIT for example is looking specifically for &quot;do-ers&quot; and &quot;risk takers&quot;. People that are not only academically good but like to try stuff, fall on their face, pick themselves up, learn from it, and try it again. They have less interest in &quot;book-worms&quot;. Other colleges have similar types of &quot;profile&quot;. The more you understand the profile, the better you can find out where a potential match could be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also the money part: Many US colleges are frightfully expensive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T20:28:51.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9066" CreationDate="2013-10-03T20:33:01.083" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've lived in a different country from my parents for many years, also while I was younger. I understand how much you want to keep in touch, be part of his life, hear what's going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is, his life is probably very different now and perhaps there's not a big spot for you. Skype isn't &quot;hip&quot; with kids these days, that's for us old people. Email is just ancient, might as well use pigeons. Facebook might be too public, depending on  how it's used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of trying to find a solution yourself, try to get his perspective. Next time you reach him, tell him that you'd like to know how much - and how - he'd like to stay in touch with you. No, you don't want to monitor him, but you want to be happy about the cool things he's got going on, but if you don't know then you can't smile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked for me was to set up a schedule, sort of a recurring date. I knew Thursday evenings at 8 was an hour of NetMeeting with my dad (yeah, it's a while ago...) and we had the deal that sometimes other commitments came in the way but as a general rule we tried to connect then (and only then). For you, once a week may not be enough :-) but it's way too much for him. Maybe &lt;em&gt;every other&lt;/em&gt; Thursday evening (or whatever weekday he prefers) could work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make this on his terms. You're at his mercy, but that doesn't mean you have to beg and grovel. It just means you might need to accept the scraps he throws at you and be grateful. If you try to be the one to state demands and set the terms, it won't work; if you can make it come from him then chances are better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T20:33:01.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6983" CreationDate="2013-10-03T20:36:53.563" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I might want to add: &lt;em&gt;Have you sat down down in calm way. How is school?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get to know him. He might shrug you off right now but I remember my parents never talking to me and can be strict which made us rebel more. Taking hockey away I understand but that is the only place that may help to cool off and help with stress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you might want to art project with him on his shirts. I think he's expressing himself though bored. My daughter has ADHD. Maybe he has problem and maybe you over looked. You are doing great as parent but sometimes we don't listen and we just get angry and lash out instead of listening. I've been having one on one with my kids for over a year now and one my boys would never tell me how he feels unless we are alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids lie a lot but they are changing because I set rules and what will happen. Someone once asked about how i parent my kids too when it came to every little think. I was punishing for tiny things that shouldn't matter as much as encouraging my kids to be the best they can be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been learning through my teen that I need to say more positive things instead always saying. why can you this? why didn't she follow through on washing her clothes. I learned we adults want them to be doing it now when they will learn but not at our pace. I know when my boys reach to teen it won't be easy with their disabilities. When was young I tried to run away as teen several times. Punishing wasn't the answer. I wish my parents asked me why? I wish they put their arms around me when I was calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4886" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-10-04T06:25:32.993" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T06:25:32.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="75" CreationDate="2013-10-03T20:55:14.803" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;kids today are different my daughter didn't even tell me she had homework. I set rules and my kids do homework when they get home. They have to do it first before play. I found giving them a cookie or treat for getting done has worked. Right now i do tick tack toe. When they complete homework when they have it and not miss more then three for her age. They get a zero. If she misses I don't put anything. The x are for if they don't turn in homework the next day. I check their backpacks because my kids don't tell me alot about imoprtant papers alot. I hope this helps. They do after after school homework help but if you have the money great if not then do something fun. The internet has alot of ideas for rewards for homework. Kids will do anything for it. even getting a scoop of ice cream. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4886" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T20:55:14.803" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9067" CreationDate="2013-10-03T21:44:25.340" Score="11" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I think that home-school could be advantageous because my GPA would not carry over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate to break it to you, but colleges will almost certainly want to consider your &lt;em&gt;entire&lt;/em&gt; high school GPA, and request a transcript from both your parents and the school you previously attended.  Homeschooling for one semester doesn't &quot;erase&quot; the rest of your academic career.  The advantages in the article you listed all come from being homeschooled for several years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also usually recommended to take your SAT and ACT toward the end of your Junior year, and often colleges have already made admissions decisions before the end of your Senior year, which means they didn't have your grades from your last semester yet.  You should have already started the process of applying by now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, colleges don't just look at GPA to assess your &quot;work ethic,&quot; they share the same ideas of what constitutes a &quot;good student&quot; as high schools do, and in their mind a GPA is a good proxy measure of that.  They are looking to see how well you will fit in with an academic environment.  Colleges aren't the bastions of self-directed and self-paced academic freedom you seem to think they are.  You get some of that freedom in graduate and post-graduate work if you earn it by slogging through your prescribed undergrad work at pretty much the same pace as everyone else and getting good grades.  Especially the first two years, most of your classes are not in your favorite subjects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might be able to get into college by homeschooling now, if you have the king of all admissions essays.  At this point, if college is really what you want, I would drop your self-studies and put all your energy into bringing your grades up.  That way when you apply to colleges after graduation, you can show you have what it takes to fit into that kind of academic environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-03T21:44:25.340" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6983" CreationDate="2013-10-04T03:53:20.327" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I disagree with removing hockey. Why? I remember being in the exact same situation and how it affected me as a person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was that age, I had one thing: music. It was my &lt;em&gt;passion&lt;/em&gt;. At 13 I was writing Manilow-like music (it was 1978) on our horrible piano and I was playing trumpet and french horn at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meantime, my grades in Civics, Math, etc, suffered. The next thing I know, the piano is locked down and I'm being held out of orchestra at the local stock theater &quot;until your grades come up.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The result was not motivation, it was &lt;strong&gt;hate&lt;/strong&gt;. I'm 48 years old now and you see how I describe it. Lasting impression? A little. As a 13 yr old, all I saw was my parents using that thing I love against me for. . . whatever. So what if it was for my own good. It doesn't change the fact that it pissed me off and irrevocably changed my relationship with my parents. That's what they call 'collateral damage'. And baggage. It's like luggage cuz they carry it around forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course that is not what they intended, but it's how a 13yo can see it in their closed off 13 yr old world and it's the lasting impression when parents forget having been 13. It's a mixed up world with everything changing and societal norms going against biological evolution. Did you know that no other mammal enforces a familial relationship with offspring beyond their ability to reproduce? So not only does family seem &quot;different&quot;, but friends are different, school is different, the world is smaller and everyone's expectations are different. The 13 yo expects to be able to make their own decisions, thanks to biology, but parents still want to tell them to &quot;take a shower&quot;, thanks to the nuclear family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, as a parent of 5, I understand what my parents goal was when telling me I couldn't be musical, but I absolutely disagree with the method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My idea? Instead of negative reinforcement, try positive reinforcement. Instead of the police state &quot;No. Not until X&quot;, I'm suggesting that you come at it from the other side. Good grades? New stick. Or gloves. Or whatever. If you're like me, you can see their grades online. With an immediate term gain, go back to hockey AND do something different/special. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You know why we went out to dinner after hockey practice? Your grades. Nice job and keep it up. There's more where &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; came from, if there's more where &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; came from.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is respecting that thing they love and allowing them to get closer to it. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8984/how-to-restrain-my-13-year-old-pubescent-sister/9023#9023&quot;&gt;It's similar to what I'm doing now with my 12 yo and have had a modicum of success.&lt;/a&gt; I'll even bet that I've had no more success than you, but I can guarantee that my daughter isn't pissed off about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last thing: It's easy to say &quot;Yeah? They just need to get over it. this is the way it's gonna be.&quot; Those words can fall out of a parents mouth easier than the corner of a chip (crisp for you euros). Don't forget how it felt when your parents said that to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T03:53:20.327" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9074" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-04T07:35:23.323" Score="3" ViewCount="825" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a three-month-old child and several long haul flights coming up (the shortest is five hours, the longest is twelve) and I'm mindful of problems with transporting expressed milk. There are restrictions in many airports on taking liquids through security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we're close to the airport we're departing from, and we have an insulated bag, I'm wondering if we could freeze the milk. I'm interested to know if doing so circumvents restrictions on liquids (since, strictly speaking, frozen breast milk is solid, not liquid), and also if I'm creating other problems down the line, when I come to defrost and use the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2013-10-05T15:07:15.583" Title="For a long flight, would freezing breast milk simplify transporting it?" Tags="|breastfeeding|travel|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9074" CreationDate="2013-10-04T09:11:23.053" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One solution is to carry the milk in the breasts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Airports we've experienced (not in the USA) have been very reasonable about breast milk. You don't need to freeze it to make it solid, you don't need to sneak it in. Just let security know you have it and they should let you through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will be happy on the flight to warm up the milk for you to a suitable temperature, though you probably need to defrost it yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realistically, though, carry and use the milk from the breasts. You will simply avoid all of the problems of carrying bottles and so forth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FYI: we did the double long haul from Europe to Australia with a little one (about 10 months old, on solids, but still breastfeeding), and didn't bring any bottles with us onto the plane. On shorted flights we have, but only to ensure that milk was available when taking off and landing – to help relieve pressure in baby's ears!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T09:11:23.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9066" CreationDate="2013-10-04T09:15:01.753" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I lived 9000 miles from my parents for a few years up until I left school at 18, and back then the Internet didn't exist, phone calls to them were over £5 a minute, and to be honest, I was having so much fun I wasn't bothered about contacting them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I spoke to them once a month on the phone, and we wrote letters and postcards. I did get to visit them twice a year and for me that was enough. I know my parents wanted more frequent communications because they worried, as all parents do, but I treated it as an opportunity to be very independent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did however occasionally need to contact them for emergencies (money, property damage etc) and one thing I really appreciated was them making it very plain that I could call at any time, so I would recommend your approach should be to make him feel very comfortable about contacting you when he has important things to talk about, but also making it plain that either party can call the other to just catch up and talk inconsequentialities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T09:15:01.753" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9060" CreationDate="2013-10-04T09:29:31.460" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recommend teaching her how to relax and meditate. Many people say that an hour of meditation is as good for you as an hour of sleep. Some even say that an hour of meditation is like two hours of sleep. If you tell her this, she will probably be willing to learn how to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people who are tired fall asleep if they try meditating lying down - and there's nothing wrong with that! But if she doesn't fall asleep, she will get some benefit - and she will believe she is getting a benefit - just from meditating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get good instructions online for how to relax, control your breathing, and calm your mind, or if she prefers printed books there are dozens of them and some are specifically aimed at children. You can also buy guided relaxation audio items - CDs, DVDs, or MP3s. She can even use the techniques for 1 minute right before a test or other stressful situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T09:29:31.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9056" CreationDate="2013-10-04T10:29:37.993" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should definitely tell your son before the last day. Probably the morning on the first day you know they will meet, in good time before you leave home. Talk to him about it, and encourage him to talk to his friend about it. It is surprising how well kids are able to handle such things in their own way, if they just have some time to process it. The 3 days may well be just enough for this to go well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also remind him each day, and ask him how things are going on. Be specific in your questions to get answers regarding the issue, and not &quot;everything else&quot;. If he seems to cope well, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; has realized the fact, then leave it. Either way, don't stress it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also ask the personnel in the daycare to keep extra attention to how and if they are talking about it (without too much interference). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1686" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T10:29:37.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9056" CreationDate="2013-10-04T11:10:13.577" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest to tell him in advance, and then just remind him the day before the other kid is actually leaving. In my experience, drawing something nice for the other kid, or drawing a cartoon on where he's going helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did some cartooning when we were moving, and my kids loved it. They wanted to see the adventure, and sometimes, they wanted to see the part where they'd be sad, and sometimes the part where they'd make new friends and remember their old friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And maybe, after the other kid has gone, it would be good to not ask about it directly, as it may remind him. He'll tell you when he's sad and then you can talk about it or look together the drawings again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4890" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T11:10:13.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9060" CreationDate="2013-10-04T11:29:06.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid was also having trouble getting to sleep because he was too nervous. This is what we've done:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More exercise, that helps with being tired and also feeling better about yourself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bath before bedtime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Back stroking or massage before going to bed. Also I talked to him very quietly to check by himself and feel how tired his legs, arms or face where. This last part seemed to help a lot, now he doesn't need it anymore.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I liked a lot the answer form Jason. Maybe in that conversation, you can make a plan with her on what to do when she awakes at night (maybe she can come to your bed when she wakes up, so you stroke her back, or maybe she can come up with her own idea on what to do). Coming up with a plan usually helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4890" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-10-05T18:59:47.367" LastActivityDate="2013-10-05T18:59:47.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6263" CreationDate="2013-10-04T11:45:47.017" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have trilingual kids (spanish from his father and me, english from living in Canada for 2 years, dutch from living in the Netherlands now). My kids are now 6 and 8 and speak the three languages (they need some immersion in english for a couple of days, then they are fine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main problem we've had was coming to the Netherlands because none of us speaks dutch. That makes it much harder for the kids to learn the language. They went to daycare in dutch, then school. However, their dutch skills are lower than the rest of the kids, and that has been a problem in self confidence and learning attitudes in the last year. Finally, we decided to bring somebody home to read/play with them in dutch, and everything has improved a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, careful with immersing with languages you don't speak! If their education happens in that language, you're mainly an analphabet parent, which does not help them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4890" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T11:45:47.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9074" CreationDate="2013-10-04T14:55:54.263" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tsa.gov/traveler-information/3-1-1-carry-ons&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;TSA Guidelines&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Declare larger liquids.&lt;/strong&gt; Medications, baby formula and food, and breast milk are allowed in reasonable quantities exceeding three ounces and are not required to be in the zip-top bag. Declare these items for inspection at the checkpoint. Officers may need to open these items to conduct additional screening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've taken extra liquids several times, meeting these requirements.  You just have to tell them before you go through security, and it helps if it's in a separate bag.  They define &quot;reasonable quantities&quot; as enough to get you through the flight, plus extra if you get stuck overnight at a layover or something.  Depending on the officer, you may or may not have a problem trying to bring an entire vacation's worth onto the plane.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So freeze it if it happens to be more convenient for you.  It won't affect screening either way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-04T14:55:54.263" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8664" CreationDate="2013-10-04T15:09:13.470" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I won't reiterates the comprehensive answers provided by Beofett and Keith,  Chrys and justkt, I'd like to add a few points.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recall when this question first appeared on SE cogsci, and I believe in it's current form, that is the better site for this question. As you are asking about the possible  and psychological damage of children viewing porn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your question stands on a parenting site I am alarmed for more than one reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;firstly, the notion that the only harm could be from the outrage of other adults &#xA;This is a rather glib interpretation of a community reaction to something that is considered harmful to children. Ok, I will accept you are philosophizing and asking is it truly harmful or an arbitrarily drawn moral line. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(but then you follow with)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is it ok if you tell the child not to tell anyone &#xA;Seriously, this disturbs me. This is the sort of  things pedophiles do when grooming children. Encouraging children to keep activities, especially of a sexual nature, from others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is one thing for a couple of teenage boys getting their hands on a soft porn magazine, like playboy, it's quite another for an adult to watch pornography with a child! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I agree with the others, porn is not a healthy or realistic introduction for sex education. Viewing &quot;kinky&quot; or adult fantasy porn is not helpful and potentially damaging. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No where is this an argument against sex education (to address monstos post) it is against porn per se being a healthy medium for children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;does one need to ask if watching r rated violence is helpful in teaching about domestic violence and playground dos and don'ts? Would encouraging children to watch r rated violence, if they don't tell anyone make it ok?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This question, essentially asks the same type of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-07T23:10:52.843" LastActivityDate="2013-10-07T23:10:52.843" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9074" CreationDate="2013-10-05T15:07:15.583" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently travelled with a 9 month old from US to Europe (4 flights total 2 in each continent). We were carrying almost all possible types of baby food (jars and pouches) and both ready made formula in liquid form and powder, as well as water for the baby. Both the TSA and European authorities were very good doing a manual inspection of the items, and giving us the option of either opening the food (not really practical) or agreeing to a pat down for one parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on that experience I do not think you would have any problem with breast milk, either frozen or just chilled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4892" LastActivityDate="2013-10-05T15:07:15.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9060" CreationDate="2013-10-05T18:31:31.267" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question is a testament to the power of words when delivered by an authority figure! What the teacher has taught your daughter is actually wrong - there are no such studies because it is impossible to establish causality between sleep and long life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Science&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/7-myths-about-sleep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Studies&lt;/a&gt; actually show an ASSOCIATION between getting 6-7 hours of sleep per night and longer life. This doesn't mean the sleep caused the longer life - perhaps people who are healthy need 6-7 hours of sleep and also live longer. The truth is that everyone's sleep needs are different, and your body tells you what it needs by feeling tired. Because they are growing, children tend to need more sleep than adults, but there is no magic number.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suggestions to help your daughter&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discuss: You probably don't want to undermine your daughter's teacher with her, so you might say to her that her teacher is right that it is important to get enough sleep, but you have read the research, and really there is no magic number of hours that anyone needs. Some people get 10 hours and some people get a lot less. What's important is to rest when your body is tired.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diffuse: To remove stress from the conversation, you might try teaching your daughter that we rest when we are tired, and if our body needs sleep, it will come. If it doesn't come till late, that's okay. Some nights we get more and some less. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prevent: One way to prevent sleeplessness is to get plenty of sunshine. &quot;When people are exposed to sunlight or very bright artificial light in the morning, their nocturnal melatonin production occurs sooner, and they enter into sleep more easily at night.&quot; (NCBI, &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2290997/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Benefits of Sunshine: A Bright Spot for Human Health&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;). You should also avoid exposure to computer or television screens near bedtime (US Dept of Health and Human Services, &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://healthfinder.gov/News/Article.aspx?id=672364&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Screen Time Near Bedtime Means Less Sleep for Kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;). Also, make sure your daughter gets an hour of exercise during the day (NIH, &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/magazine/issues/fall12/articles/fall12pg22.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The 6 &quot;Bests&quot; About Kids' Exercise&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Relax: Find relaxing things to do in the evening (bath, read, bake something, play a table game) that take her mind off of sleep. Also, find a simple phrase that expresses how you want her to think about sleep, so that you are responding the same way each time she raises a concern about her sleep at bedtime (&quot;Sleep will come when your body is ready.&quot; &quot;Some nights I sleep a lot of hours, and some nights I only sleep a few. That's okay.&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Limit: Once you have had an initial conversation to address her misconceptions about sleep, limit the amount of time you are drawn into big discussions about sleep - you may be adding energy to her worries by giving it so much attention. Stick to your chosen sleep phrase, and change the subject. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-05T18:31:31.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9046" CreationDate="2013-10-05T21:28:52.203" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an adult you may be comfortable saying, &quot;It's not something I like to talk about,&quot; but this will be a harder line for your children to say and stick to when pressed. You might suggest to them to say, &quot;He had some health issues I don't really understand.&quot; This is the truth, as someone who commits suicide has serious mental health issues and no one can fully understand. If they are pressed further, they can say their mother doesn't like to talk about the details, so they don't really ask. Then they can turn the question back on the new friend - ask about their parents and siblings. You can practice this with your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While people who ask may come across as rude or insensitive, mostly they are well-intentioned. They are asking questions to find out more about you. They may ask how he died because they think you might like to talk about it. They may ask how he died because they have their own fears of death, and hearing details allows them to put some distance between themselves and this particular instance of it - not admirable, but not intentionally malicious. People who stigmatize suicide are likely particularly fearful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children taunting children is something a bit different. While horrific for your children to experience, taunting is something children do as they learn how to navigate social circumstances. It is also fear-motivated - they taunt because making someone else stand out helps them fit in. It might help for your children to understand this, though it won't make such experiences feel any better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-11-12T03:53:45.380" LastActivityDate="2013-11-12T03:53:45.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9047" CreationDate="2013-10-05T22:09:17.397" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not an expert, but would like to supply some resources that  you might find helpful at the website of the American Association of Suicidology.&lt;br&gt;&#xA; It has:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.suicidology.org/suicide-survivors/suicide-loss-survivors&quot;&gt;Suicide Loss Survivors page&lt;/a&gt; with a lot of great resources on it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;links to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.suicidology.org/suicide-survivors/suicide-loss-survivors/suicide-support-groups&quot;&gt;support groups&lt;/a&gt; in each State (not sure if you are in the States)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a monthly newsletter (which may help you feel not so alone in this)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.suicidology.org/c/document_library/get_file?folderId=229&amp;amp;name=DLFE-73.pdf&quot;&gt;handbook&lt;/a&gt; (which covers how to talk to your children, how to process your feelings about it, how it feels to others in your position, and how to move past some of those hard feelings)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.suicidology.org/c/document_library/get_file?folderId=249&amp;amp;name=DLFE-854.pdfttp://&quot;&gt;bibliography&lt;/a&gt; of books that may help &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.suicidology.org/suicide-survivor/suicide-loss-survivors/resources&quot;&gt;other resources&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also find this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2864076/&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt; helpful (Mitchell, Ann, etal. &lt;em&gt;Effective Communication with Bereaved Child Survivors of Suicide&lt;/em&gt;). It reviews studies of children whose parents have committed suicide, discussing characteristics of these children, how bereavement works for these children, and how to talk about the issue with children. The authors have also written about the efficacy of support groups for child survivors of suicide (&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2864072/&quot;&gt;A Support Group Intervention for Children Bereaved by Parental Suicide&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-10-06T12:40:38.630" LastActivityDate="2013-10-06T12:40:38.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9088" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-06T00:51:14.470" Score="2" ViewCount="34366" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has slept through the night since she was 6 months old but suddenly, at age 5, she started waking up in the middle of the night and seems a bit scared (she started turning the lights on).  Are there any suggestions or recommendations on how to deal with this and/or figure out what is causing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-14T13:15:36.723" LastActivityDate="2019-03-14T13:15:36.723" Title="How to deal with 5-year-old who suddenly doesn't sleep through the night?" Tags="|pre-schooler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9089" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-06T01:36:29.177" Score="3" ViewCount="91946" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby is  coughing (wet) and sneezing , hence wanted to know what home remedies one can apply to her? Also I heard that there are not many general medicines for infants below 3 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastActivityDate="2017-06-16T09:08:04.827" Title="Handling coughing for 3 month old baby" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2018-07-28T19:50:34.590" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9089" CreationDate="2013-10-06T15:00:39.013" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, we had the best luck with steam.  Close the bathroom door, turn on the shower at its hottest and let the room steam up.  Sit in there with her for 10 or 15 minutes, or until the coughing eases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also had luck with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidsloveacupuncture.com/2013/01/21/pediatric-tuina-massage-for-cough/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;pediatric tunia massage&lt;/a&gt;; it hits pressure points that are connected to the cough centers in the brain.  However, before doing anything like this, always check in with your pediatrician.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-10-06T15:00:39.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9088" CreationDate="2013-10-06T19:12:05.930" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not uncommon at all, something scared her and she's now afraid of being alone in the dark. My son was a great sleeper and then one morning he came into our room screaming that something had got him, eventually he told his grandmother that it was shadows dancing, probably a moth in front of his nightlight or something like that. There's no &quot;solution&quot; to it, she's going to have to deal with the fear of being alone in her room. You can help though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's ok to have some light on in the room, if your child can see a bit it's not so scary. Get a dim, colorful bedside lamp, or put up a small string of christmas tree lights. Give your child a flashlight, it's something she can control and it is all about control. Making your child feel in control will give confidence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage your child to take some soft toys into bed, my son started to sleep with his big stuffed dog which we called his guard dog&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leave the door cracked open, it often gives children more confidence. My son told me that keeping the door open meant that the ghosts could get out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Scary TV and movies need to stop for awhile. Give ghosts and creepy crawlies a break&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be patient and non-judgemental. It is not easy at all, however if you get upset it doesn't help. Your child wants to sleep but she's going through a tough time, try to be understanding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get some anti-monster spray, which is a spray bottle filled with water. You call it monster spray and it becomes monster spray, and it works wonders. Give it to your child and tell her to spray it all over. Remember, it's all about control&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Above all ask your child what will help. Talk about it with her, and then act on it. If she says the monsters don't like red pajamas take her to the store and let her pick some out. Make her feel in control&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things not to do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I made the mistake of staying in my son's room until he went to sleep, which meant he wouldn't go to sleep without me or my wife in the room. Me being in his room was a distraction and actually kept him awake longer. It also didn't help him build confidence in going to sleep on his own&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't let your child sleep in your bed if she gets scared. If you have always let her into your bed then fine, but if you haven't before don't start now or she'll be getting into bed with you ever single night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't have extended conversations when she wakes up in the middle of the night or she may grow to like the attention. Don't talk much, just say back to bed, sleep tight, then get out of her room&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After a few days of being woken up every night you will certainly be angry, and want to pressure your child to sleep, or just have a good yell to tell her how bad she is. It's only natural but it really doesn't help&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid making it a battle of wills. Your child wants to sleep, she's probably desperate for it, but she's afraid. She doesn't want a fight, she wants to not be scared. If she wants her door open but you want it closed give keeping the door open a try. If she wants all her lights on and you want them all off compromise and try a bit of light&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can take some time but she will sleep through the night again, just hang on and try to be patient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-10-06T19:12:05.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9092" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-07T04:13:50.557" Score="0" ViewCount="530" Body="&lt;p&gt;My newborn's umbilical cord stump just fell off, we are wondering if it is necessary or even good to clean the newly exposed belly button with alcohol or hydrogen peroxide or anything else. The Doctor didn't really give much instruction other than &quot;keep the stump dry&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4896" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T12:05:31.517" Title="Should I clean the belly button of a newborn after the &quot;stump&quot; falls off" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1052" CreationDate="2013-10-07T08:07:58.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't use alcohol, hydrogen peroxide or anything like that. The recommendation your doctor gave is correct:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;at first, just keep it dry with a cotton wool swab&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;after a couple of days, you can wash it along with baby, with water on a cotton wool swab.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't pick at it or use anything harsh and it will look after itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-10-07T08:07:58.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1052" CreationDate="2013-10-07T08:16:11.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;People are divided on whether to use alcohol to clean the stump area. We didn't. We just used a bit of clean cotton wool and warm water once it had dried properly. I remember finding tiny bits of dried blood in there several weeks later, apparently not causing her any problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following links have some sensible sounding advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a127/caring-for-your-babys-umbilical-stump&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a127/caring-for-your-babys-umbilical-stump&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pampers.com/cord-care-the-ins-and-outs-of-belly-buttons&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.pampers.com/cord-care-the-ins-and-outs-of-belly-buttons&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarise:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fold down the nappy to allow air to reach the naval &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid getting any urine or faeces on it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consult a doctor if the area looks infected (eg: adjacent red skin or bad smell)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2013-10-07T08:16:11.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9011" CreationDate="2013-10-07T08:23:25.803" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Always be true to yourself. If you feel like helping your kids do it. Never do it out of responsibility or do it because you feel you have to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emergencies exempted, I always try to talk to my kids and tell them that I will tend to their needs later. I try not to feel that I &quot;sacrifice&quot; my time to tend to their needs over mine. I find that if I do that, it always results in me starting to feel resentful if they want more or just do not show the appropriate response for something that I have done. Having some time to ourselves is not selfish, it's normal and we should maintain that in order for the relationship to be healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4897" LastEditorUserId="4897" LastEditDate="2013-10-08T07:11:28.480" LastActivityDate="2013-10-08T07:11:28.480" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9096" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9100" CreationDate="2013-10-07T08:40:28.410" Score="10" ViewCount="3049" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is hard to phrase this question, as it is an psychologically oblique problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My teenage son will often ask questions or make glib observations about things, he already knows the answer to, or understand at a deeper level. He does this to get attention and to get a reaction from me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the attention part is easier to address. Obviously, he needs more of my undivided attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's the getting a reaction from me that's not so easy. As a parent, a human being, I get worn down and my reserves of patience can become emptied, and so I snap or react. In this case I react, because I know he is intelligent and provoking me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The essence of this question is not so much, how to change my behaviour (which is always a must), but &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a more sophisticated version of  knowing a small child is lying about eating the chocolate cake and their face is covered in chocolate cake, but in this case the evidence is intangible, it is the knowledge I have of his knowledge ! (that sounds wrong ! lol)     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anybody have some good techniques for handling teenagers &quot;playing dumb&quot; about things?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;How can I get the best from my son, in terms of communicating intelligently and insightfully, rather than in a potentially destructive way of asking and making inane observations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T18:41:12.113" LastActivityDate="2013-10-24T18:41:12.113" Title="Techniques for handling teenagers &quot;playing dumb&quot; about things" Tags="|development|teen|communication|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9096" CreationDate="2013-10-07T18:23:13.343" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I taught high school for years and teenagers are just notorious for this kind of thing, and you are absolutely right that it is the exact same thing as a kid getting his/her hand caught in the cookie jar and lying to your face about it even as they hold the evidence in their hand.  It never bothered me, per se (trust me, idiocy in teenagers really was the least of my concerns) as I had the policy of, &quot;You want to be treated like an adult so I'm going to expect you to behave mostly like one&quot; because, in their heart-of-hearts, teenagers &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; they want to be treated like an adult--mostly because they don't really know what being an adult really entails.  Usually when I encountered stupid statements like this, I'd just look at them for a moment and then reply with, &quot;You know the answer to that&quot; or &quot;Why don't you tell me?&quot;.  By stopping and looking at them, usually making eye contact, they have my undivided attention for a minute and by asking them the question I force them to think for themselves.  Then, if they &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; don't know the answer you'll know and you can work on it.  Or you can pause and then ask, &quot;What is this really about?&quot; which will shock any teenager because half the time they have zero idea why they do things--they just do and say stuff.  Asking one to think metacognitively about their own motivations for doing something is mind-boggling to them at first, but an important skill they need to eventually develop anyway.  It also allows you to (hopefully) get the root of the matter without having to play the constant adolescent guessing-game that teenagers like to put the adults in their lives through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-10-07T18:23:13.343" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9060" CreationDate="2013-10-07T20:46:44.983" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may also want to introduce her to the concept of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Segmented_sleep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;segmented sleep&lt;/a&gt;: patterns of sleep that involve wakeful periods in the middle of the night are now being considered the historical norm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next would be to think of relaxing and constructive things for her to do during this time to help relieve her anxiety . Meditation (of which the 'body scan' mentioned by user Patacual is one option, mantras are another format that may be helpful), reading, journaling, letter writing, arts and crafts may all be good options depending on her interests. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid activities that involve a screen (tv, computer, iphone, ebook) and ones that have a deadline (where she feels that she HAS to wake up to get them done before morning - that way if she starts sleeping straight through the night it doesn't trigger a different anxiety).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2013-10-07T20:46:44.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8952" CreationDate="2013-10-08T06:25:18.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parenting is hard work, especially if you are the main one responsible for it right now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A parenting class could be very helpful if there are any offered near where you live, especially if you the advice you are getting from others doesn't seem to be working.  These usually meet once a week for an hour or so and run over several weeks, and discipline is one of the main topics that are covered.  There are a couple big advantages of these over a book in my mind- you have the opportunity to ask questions, and you get to share/hear stories of other people experiencing exactly the same problems you are (or worse!)   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides searching online you might find out about classes available near you by calling your pediatrician's office, local hospitals, library etc.  The classes are often free or low cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1429" LastActivityDate="2013-10-08T06:25:18.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1052" CreationDate="2013-10-08T07:13:23.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our midwife wrapped what was left of the cord in some gauze soaked in alcohol. After a while (a few days) it fell off and the rest of it dried up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4897" LastActivityDate="2013-10-08T07:13:23.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9089" CreationDate="2013-10-08T13:32:49.180" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Valkyrie is right.  Steam was most definitely the best way to help alleviate coughing at that age.  There are basically NO over-the-counter medicines for children at that age.  Around 6 months some doctors feel comfortable prescribing Benadryl just to help them dry out a little bit which can help with drainage and coughing sometimes, and at 1 year you can start giving honey or honey-based elixirs to help with coughing, but at 3 months you're left to basic home remedies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've had some success with laying our infants flat across our lap on their tummies and rubbing their back somewhat forcefully or patting to help break up any congestion in their chest.  Obviously, you don't want to hurt your child by doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A cool mist humidifier is helpful for controlling coughing.  Since you're baby is 3 months old, if you're in the States you can try Vicks Vapo-Rub for Babies.  It's a different formulation than adult Vapo-Rub using lavender, rosemary, and eucalyptus instead of camphor.  Some people aren't comfortable using Vapo-Rub on their small babies.  Supposedly putting Vapo-Rub on your kid's feet and putting socks on over it is supposed to help.  It sounds ridiculous, but I have so many friends who have tried it and it swear by it.  If you don't want to put it on your child, you can also put some in a scented wax-warmer and let it diffuse through the air.  The point is that your child needs to inhale the vapors and it doesn't really matter how.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try elevating the head of her/his bed a little.  If he/she's coughing from drainage then putting a small pillow under the head of his/her bed may keep the drainage from running down the throat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's all I got!  Hope your baby feels better soon! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-10-08T13:32:49.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8164" CreationDate="2013-10-09T02:32:43.497" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my case, my mother always comments in the quality or low price of what we purchase. She thinks we should be able to buy nicer (more expensive) things. In my case, the problem is that she puts too much value into stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After many years or this, I've learn that the answer is; &quot;yes we can afford more expensive things but it makes us happier to have a healthy savings account in case something goes wrong.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, some minimalistic reading can help you have other answers.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theminimalistmom.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.theminimalistmom.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4890" LastActivityDate="2013-10-09T02:32:43.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8952" CreationDate="2013-10-09T02:59:48.167" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that you have your hands full, with a 5 year old and a grandmother to take care off. I hope you have some time for yourself as well!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've recently read &quot;How to listen so kids will talk and how to talk so kids will listen&quot;. It has helped me a lot to communicate with my kids (aged 6 and 8). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One part is just describing what you see &quot;I see that all the toys are on the floor&quot;. Surprisingly, this works much better with my kids than &quot;Clean the toys away&quot;. If that does not work, you can explain what that makes you feel &quot;I'm really exhausted and seeing all this toys in the floor makes me want to go to bed and sleep forever&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The techniques are based in respecting your child, and letting her know what you're experiencing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About napping, maybe it's not needed for her anymore. You can tell her that you need the time, so what about quiet time (drawing or reading) so mummy can have her rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4890" LastActivityDate="2013-10-09T02:59:48.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8914" CreationDate="2013-10-09T03:24:47.973" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For my kids, who are also multilingual, it helped having a Wii. Other kids that age didn't have one (actually the Wii was ours), so it was pretty cool to come and play with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a little while, everybody is happy to move on and play outside or with other toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you say, it looks like your kid is still learning english. Be patient, it takes a long time until they feel comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4890" LastActivityDate="2013-10-09T03:24:47.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8952" CreationDate="2013-10-09T04:50:01.980" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take heart, this can be fixed!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My (now 21 year old) daughter had very similar behavior patterns when she was a youngster. She was wonderful for everyone else and a terror to us.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8451/1004&quot;&gt;I answered &lt;/a&gt; a similar question at length. You can read the whole thing, but I will summarize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1414313632&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Strong Willed Child&lt;/a&gt;&quot; by Dr. James Dobson&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Establish authority by applying consequences, quickly and consistently&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Respond to BEHAVIOR, not attitude&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Act before you get angry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be consistent and predictable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will take a while to break the 5 year old habit, but it can be broken.  She will eventually learn that when she {insert bad behavior here}, she is {insert consequence here}, every time, without fail, and so will stop {insert bad behavior}.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is simple.  &lt;strong&gt;Not easy, in fact quite difficult.&lt;/strong&gt;  But simple and straight-forward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-10-09T04:50:01.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9112" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-09T07:58:57.923" Score="13" ViewCount="920" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, my prepubescent daughters have pretty much got an idea about 'where babies come from', though their curiosity so far has only got them as far as how the baby gets &lt;em&gt;out&lt;/em&gt;, not how '&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.fr/Le-Parcours-Paulo-Nicholas-Allan/dp/2877674231&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Paolo&lt;/a&gt;' gets 'in'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But explaining the mechanics is the easy bit. And we can do the 'when Daddy loves Mummy' stuff too. What worries me is reality. How do you answer - or preferably prepare your daughter in advance for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Daddy, why is that man staring at my breasts?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;'Cos sex (in our western culture/media anyway) is not just about babies, nor just about love. It is also about pure unadulterated lust; money; advertising; sustained-bad-self-image-for-corporate-profit and a whole lot of other not-so-pretty-but-ultimately-unavoidable stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or am I over-thinking things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-06T19:07:35.013" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T19:07:35.013" Title="Explaining sexual attraction" Tags="|sex-education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8952" CreationDate="2013-10-09T12:59:12.097" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really like &quot;logical consequences&quot;. This is when you choose to do something as a result of the child's behavior that is related to what they've done. It's not specifically a punishment, the way hitting them or grounding them might be, but it makes some sort of sense. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take the example of putting the toys away. When my kids were that age, toys were kept in boxes on low shelves in the living room. There were higher shelves the kids couldn't reach. I told them that I didn't always have time to put their toys away, and they should really be the ones to do it. &lt;em&gt;&quot;If I put them away,&quot;&lt;/em&gt; I said, &lt;em&gt;&quot;I will put them up high, and only bring them down on days I have time to clean them up.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; Eventually came a day when the toys were not put away and I put them up high. Later they asked to get them down. &lt;em&gt;&quot;Not right now, because I don't have time to clean them up later.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;&quot;But we'll clean them up!&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;&quot;You might, but you don't always, and I can't be sure.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; Then a short time later I got the toys down for them and reminded them &lt;em&gt;&quot;if you put them away, you can always get them back out again when you want them.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; This worked. They mostly put them away when they were done. (No-one is perfect.) They developed the habit, and they wanted to be the ones in control of that part of their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast, &lt;em&gt;&quot;do that right now because I am yelling at you&quot;&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;&quot;do that right now or else I will hit you, put you in timeout, or take something from you&quot;&lt;/em&gt; never worked for us. I hated it when I heard other parents say &lt;em&gt;&quot;I see you have chosen to go to your room for a while&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and carry them away while the child screamed &lt;strong&gt;&quot;Nooooo! Don't wanna!!! Stay heeeeere!&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;. That approach seemed to involve pretending not to care about the child's feelings. It also didn't feel like it gave the child control. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some logical consequences I have used starting as young as two:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if we can get out the door in the next five minutes there is time to stop at the park on the way, if not we will have to go straight there&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you tidy this up while I tidy that up, we will have time to play [something specific] together afterwards but if I have to do it all I will not have time to play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you can't talk to me politely right now please don't talk to me until you can&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you make your lunch you can choose what fruit goes in it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you get dressed yourself you can choose your own socks. Or if you come over here to the dresser and root around in it you can choose your own socks. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way instead of being a begging servant &lt;em&gt;&quot;ok sweetie, you hate the blue socks, no problem, would you possibly consent to wearing these lovely green socks, no of course not how foolish of me, would these be ok?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; or a tyrant &lt;em&gt;&quot;dammit this is my house and I paid for all these socks and you will wear the ones I choose&quot;&lt;/em&gt; you can instead put the control in the child's hands (you probably don't care which socks she wears as long as she wears some) and take some of the effort and burden off yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give them control, and more relaxed play time together, in exchange for taking on some of the work of their life. (You would rather play with her than argue with her, right? Playing with your kids is a major reward of being a parent.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-10-09T12:59:12.097" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9096" CreationDate="2013-10-09T18:56:52.150" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;What worked well for my Mom when I was a smart-aleck teenager was to respond with a deadpan &quot;Ha Ha Haaa.&quot;  It was her shorthand signal meaning, &quot;I acknowledge you were being clever and trying to get a reaction out of me, but I'm onto you and I'm not going to fall for it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked well for my Dad was dishing it right back, but that requires a certain personality to pull off, and you have to be careful not to take it too far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly any reaction will do as long as you don't fall for it.  When you cease to provide the reaction, the game ceases to be fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-09T18:56:52.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9000" CreationDate="2013-10-10T11:33:58.777" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children will want to please a parent and this should be reinforced by rewarding positive behaviour (this works better than punishing &quot;bad&quot; behaviour).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occasional tantrums from infants are expected as they have decided what they like doing and can't understand why they can't do it all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't specify the kinds of things he is doing to warrant the original punishment, often this is unreasonable expectations on the part of the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4910" LastActivityDate="2013-10-10T11:33:58.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9120" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-10T13:20:06.193" Score="8" ViewCount="258" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently withdrew my six year-old son from public school and began educating him at home.  There are several reasons, both for him and his sister, but a big one is that he has a lot of difficulty with verbal learning, and teachers give a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of verbal instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've read about different learning styles and incorporate them as much as possible, but everything we've read about learning styles talks about playing to the child's strengths, and nothing about developing their weaknesses.  In order for our son to succeed in college and/or a job he's going to need to get a lot better at following verbal instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What techniques can we use to help our son improve at verbal learning?  How much time should we spend on that versus playing to his strengths?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:15:15.407" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T19:03:36.597" Title="Improving verbal learning" Tags="|education|primary-schooler|language-development|learning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2013-10-10T20:59:26.333" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 25 months and only speaking some words but doesn't seem to comprehend a lot of things but is very active and intrested in everything. I just had him evaluated at early interventions he will be starting speech therapy and social intervention therapy next month and should help tremendously i would recommend getting an evaluation done i feel better already by doing so... good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4916" LastActivityDate="2013-10-10T20:59:26.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9112" CreationDate="2013-10-10T21:23:37.000" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I deem most important for my daughters to understand (and my son for that matter) is how their own actions affect the opposite sex and if that is really the effect they desire.  On average, sexual attraction is much more disconnected from emotional attraction for boys compared to girls. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The boy who doesn't wantonly stare may actually have a deeper emotional attraction and more respect than the boy who only cares about your looks.  It's important to feel attractive, but not flaunting your sexuality will make it easier to recognize the kinds of relationships you really want.  What works to attract men to a movie won't necessarily lead to the kind of relationship you want in real life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you need to go into more detail than that, and it can be brought up in the context of wanting to buy immodest clothing, or a &quot;why are boys so stupid?&quot; discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son will get the opposite discussion, that girls sometimes underestimate the effect they have on boys, so don't assume immodest dress or manner is the invitation to intimacy you think it is.  If you want a meaningful relationship, seek to look past that and build and emotional connection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-10T21:23:37.000" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9124" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-11T03:07:41.637" Score="9" ViewCount="970" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is about to turn 3 months but he is yet to sleep on his own (as in we put him to sleep, put him down on the crib then he sleeps for few hours). He only sleeps when he is carried during the day, the moment we put him down he wakes up crying. At night, he sleeps with us on the bed where he is right next to his mommy. We blame ourselves for letting this happen but now my wife can't do anything during the day but carry him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to break him out of this habit? Any pointers would be great appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4917" LastEditorUserId="4740" LastEditDate="2013-10-12T13:35:41.483" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T17:15:57.940" Title="Help With Sleep Training" Tags="|infant|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9125" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9126" CreationDate="2013-10-11T03:50:01.143" Score="9" ViewCount="4600" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it seems like infant clothes are custom designed to be difficult to put on a wiggling baby. I find the multitude of snaps to be particularly difficult to navigate, especially when you miss a snap in a long series and then need to undo all of your work to refasten the tiny contrivances in the correct pairings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine there must be a good reason for the snaps but cannot come up with one on my own. What gives?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4740" LastActivityDate="2019-08-22T16:38:05.683" Title="Why are there so many snaps on infant clothes?" Tags="|infant|clothes|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9125" CreationDate="2013-10-11T06:51:10.573" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that it can be a bother to close a onesie all the way down and find one snap left over. But it's no different than when I button up my shirt (except I wiggle less). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can think of a number of reasons why snaps are used so often: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they're not a zipper. The end of a zipper can be pointy which can irritate, and the zipper itself can add just enough stiffness to be annoying. Also, depending on which direction the zipper is sewn in, you will have to open the &lt;em&gt;entire&lt;/em&gt; zipper instead of perhaps just two or three snaps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they're not buttons. Imagine having to &lt;em&gt;button down&lt;/em&gt; all those snaps. Often enough there will be a button or two on one shoulder, to narrow the collar, and they are far more bothersome than snaps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they're flat. When the baby lies on a snap, it's not something that leaves a big mark on the skin. Buttons and zippers are thicker.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they're fun to open. When you undress the baby, you can just pull the onesie apart with a swift &lt;em&gt;plop-plop-plop&lt;/em&gt; and that's it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T06:51:10.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9124" CreationDate="2013-10-11T08:18:26.497" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Someone on another question pointed out that sleep training is to make life better for the parent, rather than the child ... I agree with this, although in the modern world, that is not such a bad thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was the same as you are describing and my son was the same.  Your son is 3 months old; of course he wants to be cuddled up to his parent, make the most of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See it from your son's point of view. He will not be able to understand why he can't sleep with his mummy, so of course he will cry.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I you are not happy with co-sleeping, the only answer is to persevere with putting him in his cot and be prepared for a long stretch of sleepless nights (remember he is a baby though)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final thought, the gina ford approach does &quot;break&quot; the habits by breaking your baby's will.  It works for some people, but not others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4910" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T08:18:26.497" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9125" CreationDate="2013-10-11T08:30:52.433" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simple answer is that there is nothing easier (with the possible exception of velcro, but one side of velcro is scratchy so a baby might not like that, and you sometimes have to pull velcro really hard)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can work snaps with one hand, even with a wriggling child. If your worst case scenario is that you missed a snap - it's only going to add a minute. In reality you very quickly get used to starting from the end that makes it easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as @Torben says, if there has been an explosion, you can very rapidly remove a onesie!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T08:30:52.433" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9129" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9131" CreationDate="2013-10-11T11:10:45.903" Score="12" ViewCount="6209" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eldest son is 6 years old. He's mentioned a few times that there are boys in the playground who &quot;know what the f-word is&quot; (his words). He knows it's a bad word and not to be said, but doesn't know the actual word itself. I'm concerned that by adding a layer of mystique and playground one-upmanship around the infamous f-word he's more likely to want to use it as and when he inevitably hears it, or hold those who use it in high esteem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the spirit of keeping an open dialogue about anything with my kids, I'm keen to talk to him about it, and tell him what the word is (perhaps not what it means), why it's not very nice and that it's no big deal whether someone knows it or not, because ultimately it's not a word that should be used in every day life (avoiding the &quot;it's a grown up word&quot; thing for fear of further adding weight to it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this approach carries risks (he tells other kids, joins the &quot;i know the word&quot; club, or even starts using it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should add that he has a very strong sense of right and wrong, and I think it's important to trust him with this kind of thing (if I don't show that trust his judgement, how will he ever learn to?), but is it too much too soon?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4919" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T08:26:49.513" Title="My eldest is aware of &quot;an f-word&quot; but doesn't know what it is, should I tell him?" Tags="|school|language|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6478" CreationDate="2013-10-11T12:37:02.893" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I asked a friend of mine who is a literacy education professor this same question. (My son just started kindergarten and tested in the middle of second grade for reading, and is moving up rapidly.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She offered this professional advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congratulations! What it amounts to is that your son already has strong skills for decoding text and has many strategies for taking apart new words. He is ready to encounter more complex text, and the skills he is working on now are reading comprehension and vocabulary building (we call these transitional readers). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he is young and not really ready for some of the more nuanced social situations he might experience in many appropriately &lt;em&gt;levelled&lt;/em&gt; texts, try focusing on non-fiction books on topics that interest him. At that level [level 18/K/lexile 200-250], there are many interesting non-fiction books with good pictures that will support his vocabulary, and they are less likely to contain situations that he might not be emotionally or developmentally ready for. The books are often in sections, so if he's not able to sustain attention for a long story, he can feel comfortable putting it down and coming back to it later. The non-fiction format will also help him with reading comprehension because it reinforces how written communication is structured to convey information, which is less obvious in fiction. And as an added benefit, he's learning about something he's interested in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you ask him questions (and model answers) that allow him to 1. demonstrate that he's understanding what he has read, 2. show that he can summarize the important information, and 3. connect the information to his world.  He's probably not quite ready to read for long periods, so you may find it is helpful to get him to think about &quot;what happened last time&quot; if he puts a book down and then comes back to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T12:37:02.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9129" CreationDate="2013-10-11T13:06:50.800" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know your kid best. I personally vote for trust every time, because it was a big deal to ME when I was a kid when my parents trusted me enough to confide something like this in me. &quot;I know you are mature enough not to use this word in your everyday language, so I'll tell you what it is and why people use it, and why we choose NOT to use it.&quot;  Also, you telling him WHY you trust him not to use it encourages him to live up to your perception of him, and not use it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just anecdata, but thanks to a military background on the part of my husband, both our kids knew that word (and several others) VERY early on.  We just call them &quot;Daddy's upset words&quot; (okay, fine, or &quot;Mommy's basketball words&quot;) and emphasize that we don't say them because they aren't nice words to say, and don't we want to be nice to the people we love?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they DO say them, they get a &quot;please don't use those words; they make me sad&quot; reaction versus a &quot;OMG! Time out! Grounding!&quot; reaction, because we don't want them to think it's a &quot;HUGE DEAL OMG THE WORLD WILL STOP SPINNING&quot; kind of thing as opposed to a &quot;ugh, yuck, who would say such words&quot; kind of thing.  Your reaction will help him determine (a) how big a deal such language is and (b) whether he can push your buttons by using such language.  Since we don't like foul language but don't freak out when they do it, the kids get a reaction to saying &quot;Mommy's basketball words&quot; that just doesn't pay off enough for them to do it again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T13:06:50.800" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8001" CreationDate="2013-10-11T13:36:29.013" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say the 'first year of school', so I'm not sure if your son is kindergarten or first grade.  Unless he has trouble answering questions about what you read to him, I wouldn't worry about comprehension yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to understand that learning to read is a process that has distinct stages. They go together something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Skills for pre-literate or preparing readers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;identifying letters  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;associating letters and sounds&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;predicting text flow (left-to-right, top-to-bottom in English)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;recognizing that words are units of letters, and that spaces separate them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Skills for beginning readers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hearing sound sequences in spoken language&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;seeing the predictability of order of letters in words &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;identifying initial sounds&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;using visual information to figure out simple words (often nouns and high frequency 'sight' words are recognized first)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;one spoken word is one written word (1:1 correspondence), often demonstrated by pointing at words while reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Skills for accelerating readers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;breaking words apart to figure them out (both with phonetics and common chunks like 'ing', 'ed', 's' that may be added to familiar words)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;using sentence structure and meaning  to figure out words (does that word make sense there?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;increasing reading fluency demonstrated by smooth reading of phrases and appropriate vocal expression in reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;recognition of the implicit meaning of punctuation (stops, pauses, speech)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;self-correcting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son won't demonstrate reading comprehension until he begins to accelerate, and it sounds like he is still working on some of his beginning skills. The best thing you can to do help him master those skills is to increase his volume of appropriately levelled texts and read with him. This will help him practice problem-solving new words, and build his confidence as he learns to see himself as a reader. He'll need to master those skills before he can really think about what he's reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, encouraging him to write (just a word or two, or let him dictate to you) will help reinforce the connection between sounds and letters, and start him down the path of using context and meaning to figure out unknown words.  (Don't worry about the spelling as long as the idea is correct.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you start to hear a difference in his reading fluency, that's when you should expect that he is beginning to retain the information he is reading. You can encourage comprehension at that point by modelling retelling, summarizing stories, and making predictions about what might happen during a story (based on the pictures or even just the title).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T13:36:29.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9133" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9142" CreationDate="2013-10-11T18:19:23.457" Score="12" ViewCount="668" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have tried taking our kids out to eat (even at a young age) in hopes that more experiences will help them understand what is appropriate behavior and what is not. My oldest son (4) has a favorite restaurant that helps to keep him grounded while we are there. My youngest (2) likes the restaurant as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They usually do alright, but tend to stand up and try to watch people, talk to people, make numerous stops to the restrooms, etc. And sometimes the more you discipline, the worse they get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So that being said, what is the best way to get kids to behave decently at a restaurant? I know the obvious answer is to simply not go. But there has to be a better way than that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-26T17:11:10.897" LastActivityDate="2018-10-26T17:11:10.897" Title="How to eat out with kids?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|discipline|public-parenting|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9134" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-10-11T18:29:11.497" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-10-11T18:29:11.497" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T18:29:11.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9135" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-10-11T18:29:11.497" Score="0" Body="Somewhere you go to eat food in public." OwnerUserId="1592" LastEditorUserId="1592" LastEditDate="2013-10-12T13:35:33.313" LastActivityDate="2013-10-12T13:35:33.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9133" CreationDate="2013-10-11T19:17:22.280" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First question: HOW do you discipline?  We have one that listens and one that is the incarnation of stubborn, and we find that One-Two-Three magic works for both, so long as we're consistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also go over our restaurant rules on the way there, or while waiting, or when we get seated (or sometimes all three), and remind them of consequences (&quot;if we get to three, we will leave and won't come back,&quot; for example).  Once a consequence has been breached, we follow through, and recidivism is pretty much at 0% for the same offense. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they LIKE going to restaurants, having to leave due to bad behaviour makes a much larger impression than just plain ol' getting in trouble and a later consequence.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for the sake of the non-small-human set out there, we try to go to places where our kids are welcome, and we go fairly early (before the sets of people without small humans in tow show up).  And because our younger child is still very messy, we leave a clean-up tip as well.  Good behaviour on the part of the kids + consistent discipline on the part of the parents + a good tip = a restaurant that's always welcoming to our family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T19:17:22.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9125" CreationDate="2013-10-11T19:21:33.430" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both @Torben and @Rory give good answers about why snaps are a popular choice. I will add that is more about bad design and cheap snaps that make the snapping experience bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The female and male parts on a good design are not all on the same side, separating the snaps in shorter independent series.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4775" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T19:21:33.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9133" CreationDate="2013-10-11T21:12:55.677" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Valkyrie starts by raising the most important point: That what qualifies as &lt;em&gt;decent&lt;/em&gt; behavior is very subjective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always eaten out with our kids (6, 3, 6mos.), since they were very little.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want them to simply NOT bother other people then the thing that works for certain is to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;focus on them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see so many parents at restaurants who are either playing on their mobile devices while their children go nuts OR parents who ardently believe that the outing is about the adults and the children are supposed to tag along.  No, having children means you are there for them, which means when you are out you need to interact with them.  Talk to them, ask them questions, play games, make every experience a learning experience.  &quot;I Spy&quot; is a fabulous game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give them something to focus on.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether this is you and the interaction or a toy, coloring book, reading book or whatever you need to give them something to focus on.  If you don't they will create their own fun, which sometimes crosses boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also think that introverts find going out with children more challenging.  Not only is the situation of being surrounded by people draining, but having to supply input for their children is draining.  I make no judgment here, but point out this dynamic to raise awareness.  If you're an introvert then you may need to make a very conscious effort to be effusive and outgoing and to create a stimulating family dynamic for your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4921" LastActivityDate="2013-10-11T21:12:55.677" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9140" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9145" CreationDate="2013-10-12T05:01:39.683" Score="4" ViewCount="13182" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question is not about head lice treatments, it's specifically about using a nit comb on a child with very curly hair, mixed ringlets and frizzy hair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem I am faced with is, getting the fine tooth comb to go through the hair without pulling some of the hair out with it. I have tried using all sorts of products, from detanglers, conditioners, oils, water and I cannot find the solution. Compared to combing other children's hair, the hair loss with the comb is significantly more and this concerns me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a usual thing for curly/frizzy hair, and if it's not a medical condition for the child, what tips are there for successfully combing this type of hair for head lice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2021-11-16T03:26:51.283" Title="Combing head lice from very curly frizzy hair" Tags="|health|lice|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9140" CreationDate="2013-10-12T20:04:29.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Success may come from a combination of keeping the hair slick and using a technique that separates the hair into small portions to be gelled (using a humectant) and combed out separately and then pinned out of the way. The technique is described &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ridlice.com/lice-egg-comb-out-gel.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, but could be performed with a non-commercial humectant (glycerin or aloe vera, for example). The advantage of the commercial product is that it has thickening and emulsifiers that might help the hair stay wet longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bayer's &lt;a href=&quot;http://labeling.bayercare.com/omr/online/RID-lice-egg-comb-out-kit.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Comb Out Gel&lt;/a&gt; contains:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Purified Water&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Glycerin (a humectant - keeps things moist)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hydroxyethylcellulose (a thickening agent - used to form a film on the hair)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;PG-Hydroxyethylcellulose Cocodimonium Chloride (an antistatic agent)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Polysorbate 20 (emulsifier - helps the chemicals stay mixed together)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;DMDM Hydantoin (a preservative)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fragrance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Iodopropynyl Butylcarbamate (a preservative)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-12T20:04:29.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9133" CreationDate="2013-10-12T20:24:14.820" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many good tips in other answers, to which I would add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bring entertainment (a restaurant meal is longer to sit through than one at home) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;treat it as a discovery experience (count the tables, find the bathroom, see how many times the word &quot;cheese&quot; is in the menu, try to guess people's names or how you think they might be related)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach and compliment their restaurant etiquette (as early as they can speak, let them order for themselves, addressing the waitstaff directly; teach that when they leave a mess, that girl over there is the one who has to clean it up, so we should try to be tidy; teach that we use quiet voices so we don't bother all the other people...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;take breaks! After ordering, take a short discovery walk, maybe find a spot to come back to later: &quot;When you finish up, we can go back and look at the fish in the aquarium by the front door.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;choose well - pick child-friendly restaurants that have features the kids enjoy going to see&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;only take well-rested kids to a restaurant. If they're tired and you have to eat out, go somewhere with an outdoor playground.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be prepared to leave - if your child is having a meltdown, just pay your tab and go home. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-12T20:24:14.820" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9124" CreationDate="2013-10-12T22:11:05.193" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sleep training is about helping your child learn to sleep independently. It's the first of many things your child will need to learn to do on his own. It's also about gaining a few moments of time for yourself in the day - you deserve to shower in peace. We did sleep training with our children at about 6 months using the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.worldcat.org/title/solve-your-childs-sleep-problems/oclc/812070076&amp;amp;referer=brief_results&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ferber method&lt;/a&gt;, though you can start earlier. Basically, it works like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put your child down for a nap, saying soothing and encouraging words. Leave the room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child will start to cry. Wait 30 seconds, then go in. &lt;strong&gt;Do not pick up the baby.&lt;/strong&gt; Just repeat your soothing and encouraging words, add a quick hug or a kiss on the head. Then leave the room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child will start to cry. Probably more vehemently. This time wait one to two minutes. Repeat the soothing routine. &lt;strong&gt;Do not pick up the baby.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continue increasing the time until the child falls asleep. Keep your self busy as the time frame increases, and keep reminding yourself that you are not inflicting tragedy on your child. Rather you are teaching your child to sleep independently.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is that your child has to learn that you will not pick him up until he has slept and that you are still there (hence the visits). The visits also help the parent not feel like such a meanie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time I tried this, the whole experience from putting the baby down to his falling asleep took about 1-1/2 hours (so lots of crying), and then he slept for 45 minutes! You have to be tough. The next nap, my encouraging visits only spanned 30 minutes and he had a proper 1-1/2 hour sleep. The third time, I put him down, said my encouraging words, and he lay down and went to sleep - no crying at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-12T22:11:05.193" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9144" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9168" CreationDate="2013-10-13T23:51:23.963" Score="11" ViewCount="739" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most elderly folks do not have an income. The children's education cost a bomb and have injured their retirement funds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In traditional Asian societies, it is a norm that children repay their parents after they start work. I am not sure if it is fine for parents to ask for allowance in other societies. Today, many Asian youngsters no longer practise it anymore and parents being parents will keep quiet about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a sensitive issue. How can parents ask for allowance from their children tactfully without embarrassing both parties?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4927" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T21:15:13.373" Title="Is it fine for parents to ask for allowance from children? How to do it tactfully?" Tags="|money|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9140" CreationDate="2013-10-14T02:43:43.937" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with all hair, combing it wet should help minimize breakage, but when using the nit comb the process is going to go VERY slowly which means the hair will dry as you go and you need to keep it wet.  Adding a product to it to help keep it wet will probably help as Mary Jo Finch suggested as well as keeping straight water right there to add to hair that has started to dry.  If I were tackling the problem, I would part the hair into very small sections and begin combing from the end of the hair, working my way up towards the root.  Hopefully, by the time you get to the root of that section of hair, the tangles in the rest of the section will be combed out all ready and you'll minimize the breakage by not clumping all the tangles together into one giant mass.  I'm pretty sure this is the approach my mom took when I had lice.  I can remember sitting in the floor for hours and hours as she combed through my hair with that nit comb.  Granted, my hair isn't &lt;em&gt;super&lt;/em&gt; curly, but it's very thick and very fine and tends to tangle really easily.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you just absolutely &lt;em&gt;cannot&lt;/em&gt; get the comb through the hair, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/lice/head/gen_info/faqs_treat.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDC&lt;/a&gt; indicates that it is not absolutely necessary to remove the nits as long as you are prepared to do two hair treatments 9 days apart probably with a strong pesticide shampoo--not a DIY hair treatment like olive oil, mayonnaise, etc (although the CDC doesn't specify).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-10-14T02:43:43.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9067" CreationDate="2013-10-14T04:28:07.613" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am writing this assuming you are in the US.  I have no idea what educational entrance requirements exist for homeschooled students elsewhere in the world.  As a public and private high school teacher, it is my understanding that even homeschool parents must submit a &quot;transcript&quot; of sorts to colleges their children are applying to.  A quick search online yields several tools for homeschool parents to use in creating these for their children, and, from what I understand, these transcripts must include not only their child's grades but also the curricula or textbooks the student used in their studies.  This way, colleges and universities know that Sally's science curriculum wasn't entirely comprised of science fiction novels and re-runs of Star Trek the Next Generation.  What this means for you is that if you are ONLY homeschooled for your senior year, you will probably still be required to submit a transcript for the previous 3 years of high school as your homeschool transcript would be incomplete.  So colleges are going to see your GPA one way or another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advice you've been given to speak with individual admission counselors is absolutely the best so far.  Every school is different and attempting to apply a definite statement to your situation is impractical.  I would assume that, at this point, you know where you are most interested in attending college and it would behoove you to schedule some on-campus visits to speak directly with their admissions counselors.  This way, you can address your specific concerns and get honest answers from them.  You should also consider that colleges have minimum GPA requirements for their in-coming freshmen.  If your GPA isn't high enough, they may not even look at your application.  Truthfully, as Karl Bielefeldt pointed out, the high school students I have taught who have gone on to college have begun the process at the end of their junior years.  If you've been attending public schools, I'm a little shocked you didn't know this all ready as this puts you significantly behind the eight-ball.  Many colleges have their in-coming freshmen all ready locked in by mid-winter.  I know I received my college acceptance letters all before Christmas of my senior year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically, students who are highly intelligent but have low grades are classified as &quot;underachieving&quot; students.  This could throw up a HUGE red flag for admissions counselors.  College drop-out rates are pretty high right now.  According to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/03/why-do-so-many-americans-drop-out-of-college/255226/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Harvard study&lt;/a&gt; released in 2011, almost half of all American college students drop out before actually receiving an undergraduate degree.  Schools might not be willing to gamble on a student they fear will only drop out or flunk out because he/she is unwilling to do the work.  It makes their bottom line look bad, and, despite the fact that this is academia we're talking about, colleges and universities are all politics and business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, your best option for colleges may be to attend a community college for a couple of years just to get your GPA up.  From my experiences, it seems that four-year colleges and universities are more willing to work with students who have accepted that maybe they didn't make the best decisions in high school and who have put in the effort and time needed to correct those decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I know that there were a few kids I went to undergrad with who were homeschooled in high school, and I believe at least a couple of them got in based on portfolios they had created of their work as well as ACT/SAT scores.  If you've been trying to present at academic conferences, you might be able to include that work into a portfolio you create of your senior year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, I don't know that it necessarily matters which way you choose to go.  Any damage your low GPA is going to do is all ready done and you probably won't be able to hide it.  If you choose to go back into public school, you really need to spend the year focusing on getting better grades.  If you choose to homeschool, there's nothing wrong with continuing your studies the way you see fit as long as you ensure that you &lt;em&gt;complete all academic requirements&lt;/em&gt; necessary to receive a high school diploma from your state.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best bet is to take this messy GPA thing and really be able to discuss with admissions counselors what you've learned from the experience and how you've changed your behavior to reflect that.  This might be as simple as taking some classes on time management and study skills.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-10-14T04:28:07.613" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9147" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-14T06:54:13.713" Score="2" ViewCount="58555" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a normal cry.   This cry &lt;em&gt;indicates&lt;/em&gt; extreme sudden pain.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example: If you were sitting peacefully somewhere and someone threw burning coals on your body, how would you scream?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is swaddled and fed, then she goes to sleep, peacefully for an hour or so. Then all of a sudden she starts screaming like I described above. This has started happening frequently now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday she was awake, happy, and gurgling merrily, and then the incident happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though after some minutes she does calm down, but I am worried.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;What could be the cause?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-10-14T18:28:21.393" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T14:35:30.933" Title="Why does my 4 month old playful infant suddenly start screaming at the top of her voice?" Tags="|infant|sleep|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9148" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-14T07:48:06.430" Score="8" ViewCount="18320" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little guy gets a bottle as the last thing before we put him to bed, it greatly helps him to wind down and relax for sleep. As the teeth start coming, we realize it's important to brush his teeth, but this wakes him up and makes it difficult to put him to bed afterward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would probably be easier to brush his teeth before giving him the milk, but I know we'd be trading dental hygiene for a bit of convenience for the parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we handle this dilemma?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2018-04-15T13:40:17.023" Title="How important is it to brush infant's teeth before vs. after the goodnight milk bottle?" Tags="|infant|bedtime|brushing-teeth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9124" CreationDate="2013-10-14T14:41:47.697" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Foreword&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, one should be aware that parenting will lead to sleepless nights and other stressful situations.  The only way to avoid that is not to make children — they are not dolls.  Of course it doesn't mean you should not try to make things go smoother, but your main focus should be &lt;strong&gt;your child's mental health&lt;/strong&gt;.  It's a question of balance, since the lack of sleep will impact your mood, which in turns will affect the child's mental health as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;On Ferber's method&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, there are a few things to know about the &lt;em&gt;Ferber method&lt;/em&gt; advertised by Mary Jo Finch.  In particular, it's recommended by specialists &lt;strong&gt;not to be used before 6 months&lt;/strong&gt; and in a few other cases (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;random link&lt;/a&gt;).  But even more, let's quote Ferber himself, as in the preface of &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.fr/books?id=soY1FV4ft8cC&amp;amp;printsec=frontcover&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the 2006 reedition of his famous book&lt;/a&gt; :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Many people thought I recommended a single method to treat all sleep problems, regardless of the nature of the problems, their causes, or the parenting styles and wishes of the family. Even worse, the particular method they refer to (only one of many approaches described in this book) has sometimes been incorrectly described as the same &quot;cry it out&quot; method that my suggested techniques were meant to counter. Simply leaving a child in a crib to cry for long periods alone until he falls asleep, no matter how long it takes, is not an approach I approve of. On the contrary, many of the approaches I recommend are designed specifically to avoid unnecessary crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Advices&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now coming to advices.  When you want to put him down make sure he's really in a &lt;strong&gt;deep sleep phase&lt;/strong&gt;.  My wife often fails at this stage because she's so eager to put our daughter down.  Wait a few (actual) minutes after you &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; he's asleep.  There may be signs which can help you.  For instance once our daughter falls asleep in our arms, she will first open her mouth after a few minutes, and it will be easier to put her down if we wait after this moment.  Then a few minutes later again she will have a kind of convulsion, and she will be even much more easier to put down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing is that a toddler won't cry without reason.  For a 3 months old it may be difficult, but for an older child it's probably worth trying to identify the reason.  Note that it doesn't mean that the reason is &lt;em&gt;reasonable&lt;/em&gt;.  But if it's not reasonable, at least you can argue against it.  And if it is, simply meet the request.  For instance, recently our almost 2 years old daughter started to become hysterical when we tried to put her in her bed.  It took us days to figure out she just wanted us to put her flat on her stomach.  The crying stopped immediately as soon as we did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we never owned one but maybe you can try putting your child in a balancing crib.  I've seen some electrically (sector or battery I couldn't tell) powered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastEditorUserId="4929" LastEditDate="2013-11-01T21:53:20.590" LastActivityDate="2013-11-01T21:53:20.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7480" CreationDate="2013-10-14T14:55:52.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try using a red LED light.  Very low energy consumption, still enough light for your child, and the red light shouldn't spoil your sleep — it might &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23182016&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;even help&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastActivityDate="2013-10-14T14:55:52.363" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9147" CreationDate="2013-10-14T17:10:04.387" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to see your pediatrician about this. Make a sound recording and bring it along. Keep a diary. The more data you collect, the easier it will be to narrow this down. Anecdotal: one of our kids did the same thing. We never quite got to the bottom of it, but we have a strong suspicion that it was some urinal tract infection so it would hurt often when he would pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-10-14T17:10:04.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7866" CreationDate="2013-10-14T19:00:22.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I went out for a walk on the 3rd day in the hospital park. As long as the kid is wrapped in properly so that it doesn't get cold, everything is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our hospital even provided the buggy and a little jacket for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4847" LastActivityDate="2013-10-14T19:00:22.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9156" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9162" CreationDate="2013-10-15T00:46:37.353" Score="4" ViewCount="9883" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have had our 2.5 year old potty trained for at least 6 months. He knows when he has to go and asks accordingly. At night he stays dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, when he is at home and he is in trouble (or gets really upset) he frequently ends up peeing his pants. This last time I saw him run into the laundry room, stand in the corner and pee himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have told him repeatedly that he needs to use the potty. This last time, my wife spanked his butt for doing this as he told me he did it on purpose. Other than these circumstances, he never has any issues going to the bathroom on time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any ways to discourage this behavior or is this just one of those phases that kids go though?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T10:06:57.060" Title="Toddler peeing pants when upset" Tags="|toddler|potty|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9148" CreationDate="2013-10-15T08:06:08.717" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;With the baby teeth, we did morning and evening brushing, whenever we could. If they had a bottle later on at night (eg 2am) we wouldn't try and wake them to brush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they would sleep for a good portion of the night we would play a game at bedtime that included brushing after their night time bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T08:06:08.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9147" CreationDate="2013-10-15T13:23:17.900" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies aren't objective about their screaming.  What to them seems like the worst thing in the world might objectively be fairly minor.  Different babies are different, and even the same baby will change as she matures.  It could be anything from thinking you left her alone to some painful gas she doesn't know how to get rid of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By all means consult a doctor if that will help ease your mind, but also ask some experienced parents you trust when it happens when they are visiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T13:23:17.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9161" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-15T15:40:33.970" Score="29" ViewCount="20802" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I teach my son the value of money and to differentiate between a need and a want?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem I am facing is that he is 19 years old, not 5 years old. He is my youngest son and to be honest I do not get along well with him due to personality differences and his stubbornness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever he sees his friends have something, he wants it also -- ranging from clothes, latest smartphones etc. Due to his exposure to friends from high school and university that come from high income families, he always tries to fit in and dress nicely like them, buying expensive clothing and accessories when my family is just a middle class family; we can occasionally pamper him a bit but his spending is just outrageous. He always pesters my wife for more money, her being too loving of a mother she always gives in to him and gives him additional pocket money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently I had another argument with him. He is in university now and he sees some people in his university driving cars to class (he takes public transport). He calls me up and asks me to buy him a car. His thinking is: If other families can buy their children cars to drive to university, if my parents can afford to get me a car, why can't I have a car?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not think that a car is necessary in a city that has a good public transport system and it is only a short ride from where he is staying to the university. I explained it to him, telling him it is spending money unnecessarily and what I have written above. He refuses to listen (showing his stubbornness), getting angry on the phone and we will not be talking to each other for a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These kind of situations have happened frequently whenever he does not get what he wants. All the times I have denied him what he wants, is because it is for his own good and it is a want and not a need. And additionally, we are not rich as his friends are so we can't be splashing cash so freely. It frustrates me because his thinking and mindset is too &quot;straightforward&quot;, he refuses to look at things in life from another angle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with him? Because I am always trying to talk some sense into him, but it seems like I am hitting a brick wall whenever I speak to him. I have four other kids and none of them caused me these problems before! I never really needed to educate them and they all know the value of money!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3766" LastEditorUserId="38325" LastEditDate="2020-02-11T16:39:36.950" LastActivityDate="2020-02-12T19:53:02.157" Title="How to deal with a teenager who wants his parents to buy him everything his friends have?" Tags="|behavior|teen|adult-child|money|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9156" CreationDate="2013-10-15T16:00:35.727" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like a fear reaction to me. Telling him to use the potty won't work, because he's not peeing in response to a bladder urge. Spanking is counter-productive, since that will only make him more fearful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When his parents are scary, he pees to remind them that he is small and helpless and doesn't know what is expected of him. Think of it as a request for help. The peeing doesn't have to do with having to go, it means he is feeling cornered and frightened. It will stop if you can find a less scary way to correct his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T16:00:35.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9161" CreationDate="2013-10-15T17:47:03.950" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 19, don't be too sure the mindset he presents to you regarding material entitlement is one he actually believes in.  He may simply being trying to manipulate you into giving him what he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he pushes for these things because it works (at least sometimes).  Even if you haven't ever given in to his requests for money, fancy clothes, or other luxuries, your wife has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I'm not sure there's anything you can say to convince him to start learning the value of money.  He's going to have to learn those lessons the hard way, sooner or later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is in his own best interest (and possibly yours, since otherwise you run the risk of him staying dependant upon you far longer than necessary) to learn this as soon as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step is to discuss this with your wife.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lay out your concerns about your son's inability to manage finances and spending responsibly.  Point out that giving in to his requests for supplemental money has done him no favors (preferably without coming across as blaming your wife!  Share ownership of this with her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the two of you agree that there is a problem, you can start strategizing on how to best approach it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal suggestion would be to cut him off from &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; non-essential expenses.  This sounds harsh, but it will force him to find a job to give him enough money to pay for incidental and entertainment expenses.  Its a harsh lesson, but at 19, it may be just what he needs to drive home just how hard it can be to get by.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want, and your finances allow it, you can soften the blow without reducing the impact of the lesson by agreeing to partially, or even fully, match any earnings he gets from a job.  Tell him to send you his paycheck stubs, and you'll send him whatever portion of it you're willing to match.  This will increase his incentive to find a real job, without forcing him to devote too much of his time towards working (and thus avoiding the excuse that working is hindering his ability to study).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternately, you can work out a full budget for him, that identifies and covers basic expenses (tuition, room &amp;amp; board, food, textbooks and other school supplies, public transportation, etc.), plus incidentals (e.g. 2 meals out at a restaurant a week, $50 a week for entertainment, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is that you stick to whatever you and your wife agree on.  I have no doubt that your son will not handle this well, but let's put it in perspective: he doesn't handle you not giving him a free car well, so either way is likely to end in him being upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T17:47:03.950" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9133" CreationDate="2013-10-15T18:15:33.443" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know the obvious answer is to simply not go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That may be &quot;obvious&quot;, but I think a better way is to go fairly regularly!  The more commonplace it seems to your children, the less likely you'll see unusual behavior.  We started taking our son to restaurants at a very early age (about 3 months old), and continue to do so 3 years later.  He generally does very well, and he's made several friends among the staff at the restaurants we frequent most often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, going often isn't really enough.  There are other considerations to keep in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the biggest ones, mentioned in several of the answers already posted, is picking a &quot;good&quot; restaurant. By &quot;good&quot;, I mean one that is at least somewhat accommodating to children (children's menu, crayons available, high chairs/booster seats/baby-seat slings are available, etc.), and also one where some degree of noise is unlikely to draw any notice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't take my son to an intimate setting, where everyone is talking quietly and soft incidental music is being played.  Instead, we go to restaurants where loud conversations are common, and the general ambient noise level is loud enough that a child joking about bodily functions is likely to go unnoticed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another important factor is the food they offer.  If there's nothing there your kids will enjoy eating, its going to be a struggle no matter how well behaved they are.  If a place doesn't offer a children's menu, or doesn't offer any of my son's favorites, we don't go (alas... this means I only rarely get to enjoy Chinese food!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also suggest bringing entertainment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen people bring portable DVD players to restaurants, set them up on the table in front of their child, and then proceed to ignore them for the duration of the meal.  I am &lt;strong&gt;NOT&lt;/strong&gt; suggesting that you do this!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, we bring a small backpack filled with supplies (diaper changing gear) and toys.  Sometimes he's content to color with the crayons and placemat the restaurant provides, but other times he picks some toys out of the bag, and happily plays with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, we have a strict &quot;no toys at the dinner table&quot; policy, but this rule is suspended at restaurants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only rules we enforce at the restaurant are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No throwing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We use our &quot;quiet&quot; voices (how quiet this is depends upon the ambient noise level in the restaurant)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No disturbing other patrons in the restaurant&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last one is sometimes the hardest, but the way we usually address it is &quot;sit facing front!&quot;.  This is usually reserved for whenever he starts to peer over the back of his seat to look at the people behind him (assuming someone is at the adjoining booth/table).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any infringement of the &quot;no throwing&quot; rule results in immediately losing whatever it is he threw, and a stern warning (we've never had a second offense in one sitting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he starts to get too loud, we remind him to use his &quot;quiet&quot; voice.  Sometimes it takes 2 or 3 reminders, but rarely more than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the (very rare!) occasion that he starts screaming/crying uncontrollably, one of us will ask him if he needs to go outside with one of us.  I think there was only one instance where that didn't immediately calm him (I did follow through by taking him outside the restaurant until he had calmed down).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T18:15:33.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9161" CreationDate="2013-10-15T18:29:16.710" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is never too late to teach your kid where money comes from and what it is worth. Since he is a student, his opportunities to earn will be somewhat restricted. Here is what I would do &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would tell him that I don't want to have to evaluate individual requests like &quot;Can I have a car?&quot; or &quot;Can I have $100 to go out for the evening?&quot; Instead I want to establish a budget, and give him that to spend as he sees fit. (This would be easier if his allowance in the past had been a fixed amount that he had to work out how to get what he wanted with, rather than something you can always ask for more of, but what's past is past.) He will not want to make a budget; it's hard work. So you and your wife have to agree that &lt;strong&gt;he gets no more money until there is a budget&lt;/strong&gt;, and you will sit with him to do one if need be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure the budget is &lt;strong&gt;generous and complete&lt;/strong&gt;. Rent, tuition, books, a transit pass, groceries, clothes, mobile phone, internet, trips home to visit you from the university city, ... make sure that you cover everything he might spend money on, even going out drinking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either pay his tuition and rent directly, or have a way to know they have been paid, such as knowing the password for his online banking so you can check. I wouldn't normally recommend that for grown children (I don't do it for mine), but I think in your case a little verification is important. Give him the money he needs each month, or perhaps every two weeks. Check in with him regularly: &quot;is the budget enough? Are you able to get everything you need?&quot; but do not comment on what he is or isn't spending. If he wants to buy clothes with this month's money and there won't be money for restaurants, or he wants to live in the clothes he has and go out drinking a lot, let him make those choices and learn how to use a limited pool of money to try to get all he needs. He should feel that &lt;strong&gt;you care, and want him to be looked after&lt;/strong&gt;, but not that you are a &quot;walking wallet&quot; or his own personal ATM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he comes back and says the budget isn't enough, that he budgeted X a month for restaurants and has spent 3X already this week, here is where it gets hard. You have to tell him that &lt;strong&gt;the budget is fixed&lt;/strong&gt;, he had a chance when making it with you to accurately estimate restaurant use, and now he will just have to &lt;strong&gt;economize elsewhere&lt;/strong&gt;. Expect pushback. But it's much easier to discuss &quot;raising a budget from A a month to B a month&quot; than &quot;giving you a car.&quot; Don't hesitate to say &quot;we can't afford that&quot; if it is the truth. Children often think their families are rich (not knowing about the costs of mortages, insurance, new furnaces, taxes etc), but if we can't afford something we can't afford it and that's that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try to help him observe the world more accurately, using the tradeoff information he is learning about his own budget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that friend who always wears the nicest clothes, whose clothes your child now wants, does that friend drive a great car? or eat in nice restaurants all the time?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that other friend with the amazing car, how are that friend's clothes?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and the one who eats at a different 5 star restaurant every night, what does that friend drive?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a little perspective your son may realize that he wants everything all his friends have, but none of his friends actually have everything &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; his friends have. The same thing happens for adults with Facebook updates: one friend is on an amazing vacation, one is at a swim meet or something where their kid is getting medals, one just got promoted, one made a beautiful pie, one lost 50 pounds, one learned another language - but nobody did &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; those things and you can't measure yourself against that aggregate. (If you have the right kind of Facebook feed, show him that to make the point.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chances are you can't have this part of the conversation until your child has been trying to live with the budget for a while and making some of the tradeoffs. And of course it will be torpedoed if he has a millionaire friend who does in fact do all of those things. Let's hope that's not the case for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look into the recent past to see if you sometimes &quot;cry wolf.&quot; Have you or your wife said no, even said something was impossible and couldn't be done, and then in the end done it? If so, you will have trained him to be persistent and keep going until you change your mind. You will need to address this with him directly. &quot;I know, usually your mother will eventually give you what you want, but we are at the absolute ceiling of what we can spend on you, there is no more.&quot; And then for heaven's sake, stick to it. You aren't doing him any favours teaching him there are no limits and whining and sulking will always get you what you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him the tools he needs to be good with money. It's part of making a grownup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-03-20T15:42:03.613" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T15:42:03.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9120" CreationDate="2013-10-15T18:52:02.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like there may be a couple different problems here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He doesn't do well with voiced instructions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He doesn't understand certain words or phrases, or has trouble turning a collection of words into a coherent message.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think improving on #2 will help with #1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Write down the steps for something and follow him through them. Have him read a step and then relay to you what he thinks it means (not repeat the words of the step verbatim), or show you what he thinks it means. If it's not what you told him, break down the sentence and see what word(s) is/are giving him trouble, or if it's the sentence as a whole that isn't making sense to him. From there, you can work on teaching him the words and the sentence structure and see if his direction-following improves. Also, try to make sure you're using small words as often as possible. While it's good to improve his vocabulary, giving directions isn't necessarily the time to do that. Once you've explained what your directions meant, have him do it. This will help reinforce the meaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From there, you can also see if his verbal-direction-following has improved. If, as he gets older, you find that he still has issues with verbal instructions, teach him good note-taking habits (perhaps even shorthand), and get a voice recorder (so he can re-listen to lectures).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do to grow the weaker learning styles. (That's not to say you can't do anything, but just keep in mind that a person's stronger way of learning is nearly always going to be superior.) It's simply how our brains are wired. The best thing you can do is teach him tools that make use of several learning styles and allow him to turn a given learning style (such as a lecture) into one that he does better with (notes), and how to leverage both (and even other learning styles) to get the most out of something. Also, teach him to not be afraid to speak up for himself. Being able to say &quot;hold on, can you repeat that while I jot it down?&quot; is at least as important as being able to remember verbal instructions, and most people are willing to accommodate such a request if asked nicely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.&lt;/em&gt; -- Confucius&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T18:52:02.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7866" CreationDate="2013-10-15T21:03:12.280" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Somebody asked the same question in a new parents support group we were in after the birth of our son.  The answer given was, &quot;You already took your baby outside when you went home from the hospital. Find something else to worry about.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being handled by random people is a different story, but merely being outside the home (assuming adequate clothing and sun protection) doesn't appear to have any good basis for avoiding it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T21:03:12.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9144" CreationDate="2013-10-15T21:15:13.373" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm so sorry to have to ask this, but we don't have enough money to live on. Can you help us out financially?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is embarrassing, chalk it up as the price to be paid for not having raised the kids to be able to talk about finances in a straightforward manner. Just as with sex, finances are a topic that you MUST educate your kids about as they are growing up, because the penalties for ignorance are very high. You need to get to the point where you can discuss the topic in a matter-of-fact, truthful, even clinical manner.  Do so in an age-appropriate way, but do so very thoroughly long before the kids must live on their own. There's no reason why there should be any taboo about parents, as they approach retirement years, having plain-spoken discussion about their finances and how they will be taken care of for their remaining years. While you're at it, discuss your medical plans and wishes as well. Some day you all will be happy that you did so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2013-10-15T21:15:13.373" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9169" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9170" CreationDate="2013-10-16T00:49:52.280" Score="4" ViewCount="131" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old's room is constantly a mess. Usually once a week, we tell him to stay in his room and clean up. He usually does a decent job of it with some help from us. But he generally lacks the interest to keep it maintained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any ideas to help encourage him to keep his room is neater? I realize he is only 4 and I am not expecting a spotless room by any means. Just a room we can at least walk into without tripping over 50 items on the floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastEditorUserId="1592" LastEditDate="2013-10-16T01:52:42.327" LastActivityDate="2013-10-17T16:08:49.697" Title="Encourage pre-schooler to keep room clean" Tags="|pre-schooler|bedroom|cleaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9169" CreationDate="2013-10-16T02:33:02.977" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instead of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/Herakles/stables.html&quot;&gt;a weekly job fit only for Hercules&lt;/a&gt;, we incorporate clean-up into our daily bedtime routine: clean up, brush teeth, shower/bath, pyjamas, bedtime story, nighty-night.  It's not negotiable, it's communal (we all help clean up), and it's supervised (he can't play anymore once clean-up starts), so it goes fairly smoothly and is usually over in minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as a priceless bonus, you get to wake up every morning and stumble bleary-eyed to the kitchen &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; stepping on Legos along the way!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T02:33:02.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9171" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-16T04:12:18.710" Score="2" ViewCount="206" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hi I have been in a relationship with a single mum for a far while now and I have began to notice a lot of things that happen that make me think about what to do as I am clueless, I am also a single parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When her child is screaming at the top of her lungs and causing a scene for no reason... There is no punishment &quot;she's only a child&quot; is what I am told.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When her child trashes the house with rubbish and I ask her to pick it up &quot; you can't expect her to clean up she's just a kid&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She runs out of the house and hides for some time and destroys a gift made by my child for me for farthers day and &quot;you can't punish her she's only 5&quot; is what I am told...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea on what to do please help... I am at my end here...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4932" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-10-16T05:44:42.127" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T17:34:19.147" Title="How to deal with the toddler when me and my partner are not on the same page?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2013-10-16T17:52:32.830" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9148" CreationDate="2013-10-16T08:55:41.553" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This might make your life simpler (or possibly more worrying, considering how long you may have been doing this wrong): You're supposed to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rdhmag.com/articles/print/volume-24/issue-2/columns/periodontics/brush-before-eating.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;brush &lt;strong&gt;before&lt;/strong&gt; meals&lt;/a&gt;. It's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/dentalhealth/Pages/Teethcleaningguide.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;technically harmful to brush immediately after&lt;/a&gt;, as it removes acid softened enamel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brushing removes plaque, not food, so you actually want to brush the plaque off before eating, as it immediately produces acid when the food hits it, so most of the damage is done to your teeth well before you brush... the softened enamel of your teeth away, increasing the damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, there you go, you simply get him to brush at the &lt;em&gt;start&lt;/em&gt; of his bedtime routine, then story, then bottle, then sleep.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sources:&lt;/strong&gt; The Dental Hygenist magazine and the NHS guidance on teeth cleaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2013-10-17T12:34:26.323" LastActivityDate="2013-10-17T12:34:26.323" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9161" CreationDate="2013-10-16T09:30:01.397" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me guess: whenever you try to talk sense, the conversation QUICKLY winds up elsewhere... either about his 'friends', or it degenerates into arguing about nothing, or any number of things, but it winds up ending on a subject other than what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; started on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, then it is willful ignorance on his part. In other words, some part of him knows that it's untenable, but he continues to reach for it anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So turn the tables of manipulation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Have a seat. We are going to talk about money. If you do not participate reasonably in the discussion, then I'm cutting you off completely.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, modify the threat to be as far as you're willing to go... but in order for it to be effective, it has to have shock value. &lt;em&gt;Even so, the point isn't the threat, the point is just to get him to the table for a conversation.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So once you have his attention, you can have a discussion. I'm not going to pretend to know what you can afford to give him or how much he needs to get his own job so I'm going to stay away from that. My main suggestion is to &lt;em&gt;be engaging, not preaching.&lt;/em&gt; It's a conversation, not a seminar. Ask him what he thinks, if he has thoughts, if he understands. He has to know that you're in it for him and his future, not just for keeping your own wallet fat. And who knows... you may learn something about his motivations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or... if he fails to participate (and here's the hardest part of this entire conversation), you must be firm with the threat that you made. You will either eventually have the conversation or he'll figure out how to swim on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T09:30:01.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9112" CreationDate="2013-10-16T10:05:40.547" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No amount of fore-thinking is too much thinking when it comes to knowing what's coming down the pike for your kids. Just want to straighten that out. I have 5 and I've been thru that quite a bit, with a lot more coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any conversation similar to &quot;why is that kid staring&quot;, we've had with our child in question well ahead of the time that they might ask. I'd say that we're highly proactive with our kids, setting up rules and imparting information before such issues come to the fore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're thinking ahead. That's good. Take advantage of it and act ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer the question about HOW do you do it, I think it starts by taking your comfort and tossing it in the bin. A lot of people avoid these conversations because it's uncomfortable. I understand it, but it's a goofy reason. It does nothing but get in the way of, as you said &quot;reality&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The wife had the &quot;feminine hygiene&quot; conversation with my oldest daughter (my eternal gratitude for that), but we both talk to her about the social aspects. It's an ongoing conversation for us and likely will be for several years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my daughter is huge for a 12 yo. She's 5'9&quot; or something, D-cup, 150# or so. I forget how it started, but we were talking about nothing one day and I felt an opportunity. So I just told her flat out &quot;You've a large chest for a girl your age.&quot; She didn't scream or cover her eyes or any nonsuch... this is the relationship I have with my kids. she just said &quot;I know, that's why I won't hug Mikey cuz he's short&quot; and then we just talked. I told her about how boys will treat her, &lt;em&gt;how men may treat her&lt;/em&gt;, and how she has my permission to knock the everloving crap out of any kid that puts his filthy mitts on her. She told me about her friends, other girls in her classes, and how she's caught boys (and girls) staring, but she just blew it off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is that I treated it as nothing special. I just flopped it out there as part of whatever the conversation was. I didn't alter my language, mood, location in the house, nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I submit that that's what you do... Just talk plainly. Don't make a big fuss about it because that will &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; it awkward. Just tell her what you know in plain words, keep the conversation simple, and listen to her (both verbal and non-verbal) as she converses with you. You may even learn something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T10:05:40.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9129" CreationDate="2013-10-16T10:32:25.103" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes. Tell him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him the word and what it means &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Also...&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Tell him who gets to use it and why it's not for 6 yr old boys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I told/tell my kids: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Look... you won't get in trouble from me if I hear it from you, but it's a bad habit for a kid your age. If you're chillin with your friends, droppin it here and there because it's funny, you're going to slip at the wrong time. And what do you think is going to happen if you slip in front of one of your grandmothers? Right, you'll have to hear it from them . . . and so will I, and since I don't want to deal with that either, just stay in the habit of NOT SAYING IT.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then my daughter dropped it while ALL the grandparents were over. The grammy's looked at her in shock, then they BOTH looked at me in disdain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;See?! Numbskull? What'd I tell you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[edit] I knew I had seen &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2985/how-do-my-wife-and-i-stop-our-son-from-learning-to-swear-from-us/&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;something like this&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; before. Similar, but I wouldn't call it duplicate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T11:23:57.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9178" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9180" CreationDate="2013-10-16T15:15:52.990" Score="14" ViewCount="169657" Body="&lt;p&gt;Newborns have such floppy necks that they need support while being held. The question I have about this is, what are we trying to protect in supporting the head/neck ? My wife and I have a few possible ideas about this but aren't sure which (if any) are accurate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You want to support the neck/head to prevent the head from moving in an uncontrolled way, which could damage the brain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Neck support could prevent the neck from being injured somehow. For example, if the neck is tilted to one side and a sudden muscle spasm pulls the head in the other direction, the baby could pull a muscle or something like that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Head/neck support might just be a way of stabilizing baby to make him easier to hold, and less prone to &quot;jumping&quot; out of one's arms.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or perhaps there is another reason entirely ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4740" LastActivityDate="2018-10-18T18:45:59.147" Title="Why is it important to support a newborn's neck?" Tags="|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4955" CreationDate="2013-10-16T16:02:47.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you don't prepare them, your children will blame themselves for having been rude sometimes.  They will blame yourself forever for not having prevented that by telling them.  They will blame you forever for having forbiden them to fully live each moment they could have with their mother.  These are just a few examples of how the situation can even worsen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you prepare them, provided they understand the situation, their behaviour is likely to change.  I would expect them to lose some of their child insouciance, to become more mature.  The relation with their mother will probably change as well.  Maybe they will sound less &quot;natural&quot; at first, but chances are that they will become more obliging with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe there are, but I can't think of any other effect which you wouldn't have if you don't prepare them (e.g. they may face school issues in both cases), so it's just a matter of timing if you can afford it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case they will have to deal with reality at some point anyway.  In some way it's your parent duty to prepare them.  You may delay the moment, but do it early enough (I'd say at least one year in advance if you can), because they will likely need to go through &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Stages_of_Grief&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the five stages of grief&lt;/a&gt; &lt;strong&gt;before&lt;/strong&gt; they're able to enjoy as much time as they can with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to how to prepare them, I would ask advice to a professional psychiatrist or someone like that.  It may be better also if &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; can be accompagnied by a psychiatrist during at least the few months after the announcement, as well as when things go wrongier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T16:02:47.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9178" CreationDate="2013-10-16T16:52:01.117" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The greatest danger, according to my pediatrician ('cause I was curious and asked the same question when my first was brand-new), is brain trauma, commonly known as Shaken Baby Syndrome.  The neck muscles are so weak that the head bobs around, and as it bobs around the brain can slosh around inside the skull (depending obviously on the force of the bob).  Also, the uncontrolled neck movements can cause whiplash and tear muscles and ligaments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T16:52:01.117" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9171" CreationDate="2013-10-16T17:34:19.147" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could always propose to try out new strategies with her, while adapting them to what the kids can or cannot do. It's always a matter of &quot;house rules&quot; adapted to what the kids are capable of understanding. For example, a 2 years old toddler can only be punished up to a certain level, as he or she won't understand the meaning of, lets say, sitting on a chair for 15 minutes instead of 2 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the mother is not willing to seek external advice or listen to your proposals, then I highly doubt that she is willing to raise her child properly. In that case, it's up to you to decide if you want your son to be raised in that context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS : From what I read, a 5 years old child can easily understand that he or she has to clean up after his/her mess, be polite and well-behaved. In my case, we started this education since our boy was 2 (as I said, up to a certain level and always adapting the rules).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4154" LastActivityDate="2013-10-16T17:34:19.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9182" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-16T20:01:32.920" Score="6" ViewCount="8204" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 5 yrs old. She is a very sweet little girl who normally is very much a people pleaser- she likes to do things that make you happy. However recently she has has issues in school- she told a little boy that her daddy was going to come to school and shoot him (which from my understanding was completely out of the blue as they were not even talking or playing near each other) and today a few weeks later she went up and punched the same boy in the nose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to her teacher she is fine with all the other kids and her &quot;behavior in class has improved greatly over the last month or so (meaning following the rules, not talking, staying on task, etc...). My first thought was that there had to be something more to what happened the fist time because that is just not like my daughter to go up and threaten someone, she is a very sweet and loving little girl but now she has punched this kid in the nose for no reason and when I asked her about it she said &quot;I didn't want too, I just did&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am 14 weeks pregnant and now freaking out that one of two things is going on, neither of which is acceptable- either I'm doing something wrong as a parent- too strict, not strict enough, too much freedom for not enough, not enough &quot;I love you&quot;s or something or I am raising a bad egg and that I refuse to believe but I'm scared &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I didn't want too , I just did&quot;.... is it because I'm pregnant? Is she not getting enough attention? Is it because she actually really likes this boy?  She is 5 years old and fixing to get herself kicked out of school.... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I swear she is not a malicious person and she knew right away that she messed up because she told the kid sorry immediately..... but she is doing things she knows are wrong and I am doing everything I can and trying to take every opportunity to point out good and bad/ right and wrong  but apparently it is not doing any good..... and I am at my wit's end on what to do or how to help this from happening again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4935" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-10-16T21:06:33.063" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T01:13:38.737" Title="frustrated and confused- my 5 yr. old is acting out and nothing we do at home seems to help" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9182" CreationDate="2013-10-17T13:30:16.667" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, you shouldn't worry too much as long as this is an &quot;isolated&quot; issue. For example, if it happens again;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) With the same boy : I think there's something going on between those two specifically and I am quite sure you have nothing to do with it, but the conflict has to be resolved with the help of the her teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) With other kids : This may be more serious than the previous case. I suggest you try to ask her about her feelings on recent changes that might have recently happened at home, at school or elsewhere. Since she is 5, she might be used to a certain amount of attention which she may have lost during the past months. It is up to you to figure it out and seek help with external resources (family, school personnel, etc.), if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the fact that you are pregnant is indeed an influence on her behavior, try to implicate her in the the whole story, making her understand that she is part of this (and not excluded or forgotten).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4154" LastActivityDate="2013-10-17T13:30:16.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9169" CreationDate="2013-10-17T16:08:49.697" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;try making it a game.... put music on, and dance.... maybe even something special at the end of the week if he keeps it clean, like going out for ice cream or whatever appeals to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4935" LastActivityDate="2013-10-17T16:08:49.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="88" CreationDate="2013-10-17T19:18:56.237" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 12 and she still wants to use a pacifier. I tell her no, but recently I've caught her sleeping with one and I also caught her buying a packet of Tesco loves baby 2 pack butterfly soothers. So I would say anytime they stop wanting to use one. I have spoken to her, but she says they are for her reborn she is getting for her Christmas, so I let her away with it but secretly I know they are for her. She never used one for 8 years. Personaly I would let them do what I did, stop them at 2-3, then if they want to start using one again at 10-12 let them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4937" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-25T17:01:45.557" LastActivityDate="2018-03-25T17:01:45.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9186" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9192" CreationDate="2013-10-17T22:26:17.463" Score="12" ViewCount="6958" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5 (nearly 6) year old son has had problems with potty training for a long time now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he sleeps at night, he wears diapers, as he is not aware of peeing during the night yet and does not wake up in time. So far that's ok, we've contacted a specialised doctor and it seems to be normal that some children take longer until they learn how to control that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;The practical problem:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though he wears diapers (slip type, which he can put on by himself) in the night, it happens very often (sometimes daily) that the bed is really wet when he awakes in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;might it be the wrong diapers?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can anything be wrong with how he puts on the diapers?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(We've tought him to make sure that the penis does not point upwards and that seems not to be the case.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;did anyone else have a similar problem and has a solution that worked for them?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Remarks:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we already try to reduce the amount of drinking during the evening meal &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we already send him to the toilet directly after the evening meal&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; a second time later before he really goes to bed. He sleeps about 11 hours.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sure we use water-proof layers to protect the mattress, but exchanging and washing this layer and the fitted sheet nearly each day is quite a lot of work. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;waking him up in the night for going to the toilet is quite difficult. He normally sleeps very soundly and when I try to wake him up for going to toilet he is kind of confused and mostly angry/grumpy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he is sleeping in a loft bed which makes both waking him up or replacing sheets quite difficult&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Important addendum: Toilet training for the night and medical aspects&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case you're having the same problem, one more remark might be important:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our problems with encopresis and enuresis, which do last for years already, we consulted a doctor, specialized in this topic and still are in regular contact with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concerning &lt;em&gt;bed wetting in the night (and not at all waking up before to go to the toilet)&lt;/em&gt; she said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Children do have to develop the hormonal processes which make them wake up if they need to urinate during their sleep.&lt;/strong&gt; Some do earlier, some do later, but &lt;strong&gt;you definitely can not &quot;teach&quot; them to wake up in the night&lt;/strong&gt;! That's why a solution with a sensor in his pants which gives an alarm to wake him up will most probably not make sense yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Hormone therapy&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;only working solution&lt;/em&gt; here at this stage would be a &lt;strong&gt;hormone therapy&lt;/strong&gt;, which&#xA;suppresses the production of urine during the night (if I am not mistaken) and therefore reduces the urge to urinate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That would be working instantly &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and could apparently also be used punctually, e. g. if the child is sleeping at a friend's house or at a school camp) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;but &lt;strong&gt;she would not recommend to use it permanently at this age (6) without urgent reasons&lt;/strong&gt; (!)   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and we also do prefer washing bed sheets over feeding our child hormones to avoid that. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(So for the given reasons we did not try that medicament yet.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;(EDIT) 2 years later&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;the situation has not changed. He is about 8.5 years now and still needs a diaper each night.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;To avoid an &quot;overload&quot; of the diaper, we wake him up and send him to the toilet once per night between midnight and 2 AM. That way, we can avoid the bed getting wet regularly and reduces the laundry dramatically.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It is still difficult to wake him up, but he has become used to it and is cooperative most times (and only rarely reacts angrily).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for sure he still goes to the bathroom again, directly before going to bed around 8 PM. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We could not find a fixed scheme, at which time in the night he urinates. Mostly, the diaper is still dry when we wake him up, but sometimes it is not. And mostly the diaper will then still be dry in the morning, but sometimes it isn't.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I think the composition of diner and what/how much he has drunk in the evening has a major effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T03:01:41.987" LastActivityDate="2019-12-03T17:57:27.230" Title="Bed gets wet nearly each night although diaper is worn" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|potty-training|diaper|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9182" CreationDate="2013-10-17T23:13:06.787" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take a deep breath! Your daughter has a lot going on in her little life. As a five-year-old, she must be in a new class, maybe a new school? And you are pregnant. And people are saying unkind thinks to her on the bus. I think she is stressed and she is acting out. While it is not the behavior you would hope for, it is an age-appropriate way to deal with stress. And when she says she doesn't know why, that may well be the truth - the area of the brain that connects actions with consequences is a long way from being developed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on finding the sources of her stress and trying to relieve them. Spend time together:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talk about the things she likes about school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;invite new school friends around to play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talk about the things at school that might be hard&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tell her stories about when you were a girl and new at school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;maybe tell her about a time you hurt someone and felt bad about it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tell her about a time someone said unkind things to you and what you&#xA;did about it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;read books about new babies, let her help you plan the baby's room (maybe she can pick out a new bedspread for herself at the same time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do some of the things you used to do together but haven't done in a while&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you stress out about this, approaching these behaviors with a lot of discipline and too much talking, you may inadvertently add to her stress. There should be consequences for the behaviors, certainly, but try not to let them become central to your relationship - they are only 2 bad behaviors amongst hundreds of good ones!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-17T23:13:06.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8164" CreationDate="2013-10-18T02:30:37.533" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know my answer is tardy but I'm going to set this out here anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We have a mother in law who always makes uncomfortable comments about things we've purchased, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then . . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;These comments especially seem to upset my wife, who has guilt issues, who had to deal with this growing up and never wants to spend money on anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... based on this, it sounds like YOUR mother-in-law (mil) which would be her mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wifes past? Your wifes mother? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yeah, I hear baggage. We all have some level of baggage with our parents. Part of that baggage for many people is that the desire to not piss the parent off in some way, is stronger than the desire to show that &quot;I'm a fucking adult with my own checking account so stop dinging me about my spending habits!!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way my wife and I deal with it, is that I let her deal with my parents, and I deal with hers. The opposite doesn't have that same desire and it's much easier for them to just outright say what needs to be said. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you, the son-in-law, would say tactfully to the MiL would come off completely differently if said by the daughter. Tell your wife that the next time it comes up, that she should just let you have the conversation and then you tell her, point blank...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This was well within our budget. We're adults and it's our money and actually, I'd appreciate it if you just let the whole thing alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the MiL can't take such a simple, tactful statement without being put off in some way, then your problems are much different than just her being nosey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2013-10-18T02:30:37.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9189" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9193" CreationDate="2013-10-18T03:03:35.387" Score="5" ViewCount="383" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I put our child through daycare. There's a child with issues, who has only been there for a few months. Lately, our daughter has been telling us what that other child has been doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know this is a child that may have an issue and we try to teach our child how to play well with others, but today my child tells me she heard that other child threatening the teacher (telling her, he was going to cut her). This isn't the first time and that other child has gotten in trouble for hitting and throwing tempers but I think a line needs to be drawn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is how do I address this issue?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I approach the daycare?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I give the daycare and ultimatum?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My child has been at the daycare awhile. Should I look into another daycare if the issue is not resolved?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4556" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-02T13:35:41.047" LastActivityDate="2019-03-02T13:35:41.047" Title="How do you address the bullying at the daycare your child tells you about?" Tags="|daycare|bullying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9189" CreationDate="2013-10-18T12:04:42.180" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is serious. It sounds like you are dealing with a seriously disturbed child. A child who threatens to cut other children is likely to have been raised in a terrible environment and needs help (or perhaps is even beyond help, if the parents are unwilling to do anything about it). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly the daycare must know about it, though I'm not sure what position you are in to give them an ultimatum. If the other child is a bully, then rally together other parents against it. Bullying should not be tolerated, but it can (apparently) be prevented if all parties involved are willing to stop it. Don't stand for any &quot;boys will be boys&quot; or &quot;they're just kids&quot; bullshit. Eventually, you'll have to confront the other child's parents, and that's where the real challenge will lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the matter persists, then changing daycare is a good idea for the safety of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-10-18T12:04:42.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9191" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9222" CreationDate="2013-10-18T12:26:41.767" Score="6" ViewCount="7317" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, my 4 year-old daughter goes to the toilet too late and sometimes soils her clothing before she can take it off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if she &lt;strong&gt;deliberately&lt;/strong&gt; postpones urinating until the last possible moment, or is not aware about it soon enough.  I think I should take her to a doctor if it's the second one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to ask her but she does not understand what I'm trying to ask. Have you encountered a similar situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2609" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2015-01-04T09:27:42.453" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T09:27:42.453" Title="How to tell if a 4 year-old child deliberately postpones urinating until the last possible moment?" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9186" CreationDate="2013-10-18T12:28:54.657" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Three ideas (one you might not like, but if it works...):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure he goes to the bathroom just before bed.  Did wonders for our daughter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try some higher-absorbency pullups.  Since he's almost 6, maybe move to GoodNights or something similar for older kids with bladder control issues.  You might just be overloading the capacity of the diaper.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you can determine WHERE the leakage is coming from, attach a maxi pad (for menstruation) or a urinary incontinence pad to that part of the diaper, sticky side towards the diaper and absorbent side towards the skin.  That will add some extra protection and hopefully help with leaks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, for the fun part of cleaning the sheets and bed, we layered everything.  Covered the mattress with a waterproof zipped liner, then placed a waterproof mattress pad on, then a waterproof liner, then fitted sheet, then top sheet &amp;amp; comforter.  That way, when we have a leak, we only replace and wash the liner + sheets (and possibly comforter) rather than the mattress pad as well.  And you can add additional layers of sheet + liner if you wanna just strip off the top soiled layer and have another beneath it to use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-10-18T12:28:54.657" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9189" CreationDate="2013-10-18T17:01:28.343" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think before anything is done, you have to talk to the teacher to learn more. You need to verify that what your child is telling you is accurate. If it is, I would recommend going to the owner/operator of the daycare and asking them what their action plan is for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At my child's daycare, there are two separate classes for each age/grade level. Perhaps you could get your child transferred to a different class?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, if you don't feel you are getting anywhere with your child's daycare, I would also suggest shopping around for other daycare providers. In our area, the wait list is long. The sooner you get your name in there the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastEditorUserId="1592" LastEditDate="2013-10-18T18:18:34.677" LastActivityDate="2013-10-18T18:18:34.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9191" CreationDate="2013-10-18T21:23:54.383" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you make a routine with your child to go to toilet more often, even if he/she says it's not needed. Often just sitting there makes it happen and creates a nice feeling of relief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way the whole subject will receive less importance which is often the source of the problem taking so long time to disappear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4789" LastEditorUserId="4789" LastEditDate="2013-10-20T20:35:10.297" LastActivityDate="2013-10-20T20:35:10.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9196" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9259" CreationDate="2013-10-19T20:55:40.723" Score="18" ViewCount="8085" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking at video baby monitors and they are not cheap!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a technologist I am having a hard time accepting that a couple of a webcams and an LCD screen cost 200+ dollars. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can get a pretty decent in home security system for that price that would give me baby monitoring capabilities in every room and increase my homes value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can also get a couple of wireless webcams and set them up to stream to the internet and use my phone for video monitoring, or set up a dedicated monitor on a raspberry pi.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are so many possibilities, but a part of me (and my wife) tells me that this isn't a good idea. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit (a year later, with a baby):&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some features that I didn't think as very important, but really they are the most important:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Handheld monitor you can take from room to room, and one that my parents can easily use&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A cam that you can pan and zoom from the monitor&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ability to take the whole system to another house, which means quick assembly and disassembly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby proof!!!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In hindsight I am glad that I shelled out 200 bucks for a crappy RF cam/monitor that does all of the above really well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The last thing I want to do right now is deal with electronics!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;Is a Do-It-Yourself baby monitor a bad idea?&lt;/code&gt; &lt;strong&gt;YES!!!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4944" LastEditorUserId="4944" LastEditDate="2015-11-26T02:14:12.483" LastActivityDate="2020-06-11T21:44:47.133" Title="Is a Do-It-Yourself baby monitor a bad idea?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9196" CreationDate="2013-10-19T21:03:33.240" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're confident in your ability to get something working, and don't wind up spending money on time only to wind up buying a pre-made solution, I'd say go for it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as what you build is reliable, and provides at least basic audio capabilities to whichever rooms you need it to work in, you should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that we made do without baby monitors until the past few decades, and I don't believe that video feed is even necessary (unless there's a specific health concern your baby has that merits extra attention).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used just an audio monitor, and it was perfectly sufficient for our needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When planning what you want to build, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1432/420&quot;&gt;here is a discussion that identifies some key features to consider&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-10-19T21:03:33.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9196" CreationDate="2013-10-20T01:18:06.220" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it a bad idea? On the face of it, I say no. I mean, I was &lt;em&gt;THIS FAR&lt;/em&gt; from doing the same thing to make a reverse-cam on my van.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, as I do around here, lets consider it from a different angle. As a technophile myself, let's think about it as if you were building a pc. I've done it I don't know how many times, so I can build a shopping list in my sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are likely plans somewhere on the interwebs about how to do it cheaply and just as good. So let's say that you get your shopping list. You build the thing, it works great, it was cheap, all that . . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then a part fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a DIY PC (lets say it was the HD), you have to thoroughly troubleshoot the part and then play circus-freak doing all the calisthenics that the manufacturer requires before they give you an RMA#. Fastest I've managed to get a part between moment of failure and moment of reboot is probably 9-10 days. On a hand built baby monitor system, I can't imagine that it would be any different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This example is meant to make a point that most people don't get: the price you pay for anything is for some kind of convenience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For bread, you can buy the parts and make it yourself for way cheaper than $1.50/loaf. The convenience is time. For some kind of warranty, it's the convenience in the case of failure. For this item, you're paying for both conveniences. For a unit with screens, cams, low power modes, quiet alarms, etc etc, the $200 price tag is for the simplicity of operation AND for the 1 year (or however long) warranty. If something blows out, you'll have another one in your non-diaper holding hand probably as fast as UPS can get it there... 2-3 days. Complete unit, whole, working, in the plastic, pristene, all that. Imagine for a moment the rigamarole of what you'll have to deal with on a DYI setup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, from one technologist to another, here's a separate idea: Try local Salvation Armory or Goodwill. Our local places have, not just baby monitors, but &lt;em&gt;10 yr old laptops&lt;/em&gt; and cheap-ass net-books for what $30-50. It will have wifi and usb, and that's all you need. a $20 webcam and a low-resource configuration (ubuntu 11.04 anyone?) and you have not only a baby monitor, but something to play night-night music and do whatever else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bad idea? Abstractly, No. But it depends on how you do it as to whether or not it's a &lt;em&gt;functionally&lt;/em&gt; bad idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2013-10-20T01:25:55.413" LastActivityDate="2013-10-20T01:25:55.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9200" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-20T08:26:11.307" Score="2" ViewCount="1979" Body="&lt;p&gt;An idea that comes to my mind to swing a baby swing automatically is using a CD drive eject - close function , I have several such Drives I dont use and I dont want to use a computer to  do the periodic control eject \ close. Can it be done without a controller or just a simple circuit?  Also, are there any other ways to make the swing automatic , what I need is just a back and forth motion to couple it with the swing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the typical swing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/xkSOs.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also we have a  rocker like one below can it also be automatized?&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/MHwzE.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Some babies wont just sleep unless they are swinged\rocked continuously hence the question. And I know automated stuff is available but we already have these non automatic stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had asked a similar question &lt;a href=&quot;https://electronics.stackexchange.com/questions/86022/automatic-swinger-from-spare-cd-drive&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:33:07.023" LastActivityDate="2013-10-22T02:46:37.963" Title="Ways to automatically swing or rock a baby" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1211" CreationDate="2013-10-20T12:16:23.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think kids should start dressing themselves at the age of 2 and half years. But parents should always teach the children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids were able  to undress themselves at the age 2. By the age of 2.5 they could put on the pants, socks, trousers, hat. I bought them Shoosey to teach them how to tie laces (but it was when they were 3)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4947" LastActivityDate="2013-10-20T12:16:23.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9191" CreationDate="2013-10-20T14:37:45.727" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/9194/2513&quot;&gt;this other answer here&lt;/a&gt; and that's exactly what we are doing with our own daugther and this is obviously helping&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the original question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How to tell if a 4 year-old child deliberately postpones urinating until the last possible moment&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From long time of observing our daughter, she has the same behavior as adults who hold their urination for long time: crossing her legs, touching her backside etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While searching I found a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.uichildrens.org/daytime-wetting-and-voiding-dysfunction-in-children/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;good article in this matter&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who have not developed brain control over their bladder may&#xA;  try to stay dry by contracting their sphincter muscles at the same&#xA;  time their bladder tries to empty. &lt;strong&gt;Sometimes a child either crosses&#xA;  the legs or squats down when trying to hold back urination&lt;/strong&gt;. In most&#xA;  children, the reason they develop the pattern of contracting their&#xA;  sphincter muscles at the same time their bladder contracts is unknown.&#xA;  Unfortunately, once children begin this pattern, it is difficult for&#xA;  them to learn to relax these muscles when they try and urinate. This&#xA;  abnormal activity of the sphincter muscles occurs in most children&#xA;  with voiding dysfunction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I tend to believe this is the reason, not deliberate holding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-10-20T14:37:45.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9204" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-20T16:51:35.837" Score="19" ViewCount="1026" Body="&lt;p&gt;4 weeks ago some weirdo shot at my balcony (probably for fun) with a gun used for practice. Anyway, the glass of my balcony door broke. At the same time my daughter of 6 was sitting just next to it, having her dinner. Of course that scared her a lot. My wife was at home at that time and took care of her immediately. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then my daughter is generally scared to be alone. She wasn't before. Almost every night (she sleeps at 9pm), she wakes up at 3 or 4am (sometimes earlier) and comes to our bed and continues her sleep. She wasn't doing this before. Whenever something is suddenly heard (like the beep sound of the oven) in the house, she is startled. In general since then she is startled very easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I must mention that her social interactions haven't been affected that much (for example at school, her friends or her teachers see no difference in her behaviour whatsoever). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we be worried? We don't know how to handle a situation like this. Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1666" LastEditorUserId="1666" LastEditDate="2013-10-22T20:24:13.020" LastActivityDate="2013-10-23T23:12:47.093" Title="How to handle post traumatic stress with my 6yr old daughter?" Tags="|behavior|fears|anxiety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9200" CreationDate="2013-10-20T17:28:37.000" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rocking a baby in a swing or rocker takes a fair bit of torque, hence it's not a trivial problem. Above all other things you want to make it absolutely safe and make sure that no curious baby fingers or toes can get trapped or squeezed in any way form or shape. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend against doing this yourself and go with a commercial product that has been properly tested and is UL (or equivalent) certified.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-10-20T17:28:37.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9204" CreationDate="2013-10-20T20:43:15.670" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Small traumas are a part of life, and learning to accept that is part of growing up. Some thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk about it.&lt;/strong&gt; When discussing the incident use calming language: &lt;em&gt;It was an accident, and sometimes accidents happen. One time I had an accident (describe briefly) and I hurt my leg (or whatever). It scared me, but then after a while I didn't really think about it any more. We're so glad no one got hurt in this accident.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure she feels safe.&lt;/strong&gt; Until she is feeling confident again, be available to her, even in the middle of the night. Six is young to process things like guns. One night she will sleep through, and the episode will begin to fade.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Separation and sleep issues may be unrelated.&lt;/strong&gt; Kids go through phases of this even when life is perfect. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Set her up for good sleep.&lt;/strong&gt; If you can help her to sleep through the night, it will probably speed up her recovery. Make sure she gets plenty of sunshine and exercise in the day. Limit screen time in the evening. Find relaxing things to do together in the evening (bathe, read,  bake, play a table game) to send her off to sleep in a comfortable mental place.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-20T20:43:15.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9186" CreationDate="2013-10-20T20:57:38.777" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To @Valkyrie's excellent suggestions, I would add that mastering toileting is your child's &quot;job,&quot; and at this age you might consider making him part of the clean-up process. If the sheets are wet in the morning, he has to help pull them, he helps wash them, he helps put them back on the bed. By making him responsible for these daytime activities, he may begin to internalize his night-time responsibilities. The more you take responsibility for his toileting, the longer it will take him to master it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Shame about the loft bed - that really makes it harder!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-20T20:57:38.777" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9204" CreationDate="2013-10-21T11:59:24.490" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think her reaction is not unusual. Her safe space was violated, and it takes a while for it to start feeling safe again. My parents had similar reactions when their home was broken into: startling at shadows and sudden sounds, fitful sleep, and some apprehension when entering the house. It goes away slowly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My gut reaction is to offer as much comfort as possible: try to be her safe beacon. Be gentle with her in daily interactions. Let her sleep with you until she's had enough of it and decides she wants to be in her own room. And just wait it out. However some people don't feel comfortable with their kids sleeping with them, so if you want to transfer her back to her room just make sure to spend some time comforting her when you do. Also, since she seems to feel fine in interactions with her friends, maybe you could invite her friends over every so often, so that she has a fun time in the place which right now feels unsafe. What you want is the good experiences at home to slowly overcome the emotional memory of the bad experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a bit unsure if it would be beneficial to talk it out with her at this point or not. It has been shown that for traumatic experiences it is better to let some time pass before talking about it, but I don't know what the suggested waiting time is (and the rules might be different for kids)! However at some point, where the talking doesn't trigger too many bad emotions, it is beneficial to talk. This is something I would play by ear if I were you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-10-21T11:59:24.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9209" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-21T16:47:53.113" Score="5" ViewCount="126" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 year old started school this September (Reception, we live in the UK). Initially everything was very good, but then she started complaining that she is afraid to leave her parents when she enters school. This got worse over the last couple of weeks, and today the school staff had to carry her into the classroom, and she was crying all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once inside the classroom, she seems to be doing rather well. The teacher is happy with her, apart from the morning tantrums of course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Previously she was attending a nursery. Initial 2 months were also really difficult, but then she adapted really well and complained that she couldn't go there every day. We are trying to talk to her, explain, try to find out what she is really afraid of, but so far we failed. What can we do to help her adapt to the school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2013-10-22T19:26:37.137" Title="What to do about anxiety when going to school?" Tags="|primary-schooler|fears|anxiety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9204" CreationDate="2013-10-22T07:43:59.607" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the key elements of a parenting course I attended was to introduce the accidents/dangers in controlled environment.  (ofcourse it was with respect to fire, sharp things etc, but could be tried here). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to understand what part of the accidents the child is remembering. The gunshot or breaking of glass with no apparent reason (to her).  If it it is the glass breaking part, big sound etc I would definitely show the child breaking some big glass.  (Not faimilar with guns, no comments there)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4943" LastActivityDate="2013-10-22T07:43:59.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9209" CreationDate="2013-10-22T10:24:45.113" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I cannot recommend this method enough, because when our change-averse 3-yr-old switched daycares, it made a HUGE difference in her leave-taking of us: have her PUSH YOU OUT THE DOOR.  She might cry anyway, but if you can get her to do it a couple of mornings consistently, maybe she can find the fun in it.  And it lets her feel some autonomy; after all, you're not leaving, she's MAKING you leave, because it's way too fun there for parents to get to stay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdata: it also works for our 30-month-old, who isn't particularly fond of his teacher at the moment and is very clingy and scream-y when Mama drops him off (since I'm usually the retriever, and Daddy is the drop-off, that change seems to REALLY hack him off).  But a little play-acting, like the push was super-strong and nearly threw me through the door, usually gets me out of there with a minimum of drama and leaves him in a good mood that translates the rest of the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we do drop-off, we do kisses &amp;amp; hugs and then say, &quot;Okay, shove me out!&quot; and turn our back to the child. We get a rather enthusiastic shove towards the door, and then play-act it a little more to make it look like OMG BIGGEST SHOVE EVER and walk on out the door. The child is left feeling like &quot;Hey, I took control. I sent Mom/Dad away so I can do my own thing.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2013-10-22T19:26:37.137" LastActivityDate="2013-10-22T19:26:37.137" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9213" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-22T15:26:06.773" Score="5" ViewCount="3956" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any advice on how to &quot;manage&quot;, &quot;gain control&quot; and get the &quot;attention&quot; from a class of 4 yr olds? This was not covered in my University course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: English is their second language, and I must only speak English to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4954" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T14:46:04.600" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T20:33:49.493" Title="How to control a class of 4 year old children?" Tags="|school|bilingual|teacher|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9213" CreationDate="2013-10-22T18:53:02.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some loose suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make sports or let them play in the playground. If they are physically tired they will be more calm in the class room. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make it fun, find out what they like &amp;amp; let them take part in decisions but still be very keen of who takes the last decision.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use their hands. 4 year olds like to create, let them use their hands to paint, build lego or some other constructive activity and include what you want to teach in the games/paining.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;read stories for them, stopping sometimes to ask them what will happen and create suspense.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sing! Children love to sing. Keep in mind children sing in a higher pitch than adults, so try to sing in their pitch or let them take the tone. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;simulate their life outside school. Make up games recreating moments from their life. A restaurant (giving different roles to them), a bus trip, train describing the landscape, food store etc. They know that situation and by simulating it they can change it with the imagination and have fun.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4789" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T17:04:03.970" LastActivityDate="2013-10-24T17:04:03.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9213" CreationDate="2013-10-23T22:16:39.303" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to Sergio's answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have frequent breaks. A four year old's concentration span is very limited.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read the situation, if the kids are getting bored then change your approach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Incorporate movement between lessons. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids who have trouble concentrating should be at the front of the class so you can engage them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to keep the class quiet when they need to concentrate, it is easy to overload a young mind.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is based upon the experience of my lad who started school at 4.5 and his noob teacher. She'd try to make them concentrate for 30~45 minutes at a time. This was not possible, even for the older kids. She reads books so slowly that the kids get bored. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many kids (like our boy) crave movement and exercise - he needs it in order to concentrate. We've taught him to do things like chair push-ups if he has trouble concentrating. This can be incorporated into the day. For birthday parties, we'll get the kids to do some light exercise before the entertainment comes on; it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-10-23T22:16:39.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9204" CreationDate="2013-10-23T22:56:59.807" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mary Jo Finch and Ana both have it right when they say, &quot;be there for her&quot; (I'm paraphrasing).  Letting her sleep with you and recognizing that she will be jumpy for awhile is a natural response to such an event.  I'm not sure by what you mean &quot;gun used for practice,&quot; but even so, that would be traumatic for almost anyone.  Having a window break - one you were sitting near - because of a gunshot is probably not a &quot;small trauma&quot; to her and shouldn't be treated as though it is.  At the same time you don't want to make it even bigger by playing up the drama either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;strong&gt;I wouldn't hesitate to talk to her about it&lt;/strong&gt; with the caveat that you speak WITH her about it, not &lt;strong&gt;At&lt;/strong&gt; her.  If she feels fearful it could happen again, and you try to simply play it off with &quot;accidents happen&quot; you aren't really &lt;strong&gt;reassuring her of her safety&lt;/strong&gt; OR &lt;strong&gt;acknowledging her fears&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;offering a coping mechanism&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a big deal for a child to confront the idea of serious &quot;accidents&quot; that cause injury or death.  Mortality just isn't usally on their radar yet at this age at this time in History, in our society.  She may be looking at this as a near-death moment depending on how she is understanding things, or she may just suddenly feel her safe space was invaded and she is lucky she wasn't scratched - or anywhere in between (I don't know) and your question doesn't indicate so I assume you may not be sure either..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I suggest &lt;strong&gt;asking her the questions&lt;/strong&gt;.  &quot;It was a scary moment and I'm so glad no one was hurt.  What is it that is still scaring you?&quot; Then respond calmly and honestly. When she answers, offer her your coping mechanism.  What do you think about to help you feel less scared?  Understand where she is at in terms of her feelings about how &quot;in danger&quot; she really was.  Acknowledge her feelings.  &quot;It is understandable to feel scared - I was a little scared at first too.&quot;  THEN address her fears.  Explain how dangerous the situation really was - the glass may have injured some one if the window shattered, but . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find a way to &lt;strong&gt;empower her&lt;/strong&gt;  Allow her to brainstorm some ideas for things that might make her feel safer.  Can she help install the new window?  Would she like to sleep in a room further away from that neighbor or change where her bed is so it isn't in line with whatever window is in her room (to help her feel safer?)  Again, if &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; offer up the ideas, it might actually scare her more - my examples are only that - I don't know all the specifics, but see if she has any ideas that are reasonable and realistic or at least simple enough to offer her a sense of power over her situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your conversations, include telling her what you have done or will be doing to lessen the chances of it happening again.  Unless you live in a war-torn area, or a city with very little police protection and a lot of violence, you can probably at least assure her that your neighbor will take his/her gun to a range, or a safer place next time for his/her practice, but only do this if it is the truth.  OR if he was using rubber bullets you can reasure her that these can bruise, but won't kill.  If the neighbor/weirdo won't be using safer gun habbits or wasn't apprehended in some way, and you haven't already done so, please report him/her and the whole incident.  Include your daughter in the reports - let her share her version of events - officially speaking to an officer can be intimidating, but she could write a letter describing the events to add to the police file.   As the daughter of a deputy, I know if a person is using proper gun safety measures, this should never have happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, consider a therapist.  Seeing a therapist still has a stigma, but having a well-trained and un-biased ear can be a great help.  Pediatric therapists are specifically trained in helping kids break through their specific barriers and a therapist might be able to get her talking about it much more quickly and easily than you (Not because you aren't an awesome, loving, super parent, but because  some times it is easier to open up to a stranger than some one you love and a therapist has the training to get her to open up on top of it too).  A Therapist might also be able to offer up ideas for coping mechanisms you do not have at your disposal.  Even a one-time conversation might make a HUGE difference for your daughter and it is worth considering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-10-23T23:12:47.093" LastActivityDate="2013-10-23T23:12:47.093" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9182" CreationDate="2013-10-23T23:40:25.813" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I voted for Mary JO Finch's answer, but just wanted to add two quick things to what she is already suggesting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might consider asking her why she did it again.  Many kids at this age will close up and not share their feelings if they see you are stressed out.  So if the initial question was posed right when you were finding out about either incident, when you were at all upset or stressed about anything, or even if you MAY have had a heightened tone of voice, I'd suggest trying again.  I know you've been talking about it ever since with her.  But talking about it with her and asking her about it are really two totally different things.  Asking needs to be calmly done and then followed by a silence for her to fill (you can even let it be silent for minutes before she might answer - she may be sorting out her feelings as well as the words to describe them and her own motivations herself, that can need a lot of time at that age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take her out for some mommy/daughter time or mommy/daddy/daughter time, get relaxed over some pizza (or whatever her favorite food is) and calmly ask her if there is something else about the incidences in question she has not already shared that might help you understand what happened better.  Re-iterate she can tell you anything because you will always love her no matter what.  Make sure your question is as general as my example, If you ask it in a leading way, &quot;did that boy do anything to make you mad?&quot;  You indicate you already have possible answers in mind and she is less likely to open up.  Give her a single question that allows for any answer.  She MAY answer, &quot;I wanted to see if it would get your attention&quot; or she might say, &quot;The boy was mean and I was mad,&quot; or any number of other things.  She might also just repeat, &quot;I don't know, I just did.&quot; Include the idea that she can think about it and tell you if she thinks of anything later too.  It is important to be genuinely caring but sort of relaxed and casual about it at the same time.  Keep your responses slow, methodical and comtemplative.  She might open up and say more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also don't know where you live, but in smaller towns where there isn't a lot of exposure to different races and mixed ethnicity kids, the comments on the bus, might be a pretty big clue to what is going on too.  Along with your time together, incorporate some geneology.  Who are her ancestors?  How is she like your favorite aunt?  What is one of the funniest stories about a relative from each side of the family?  How does she reflect her heritage and why should she be proud of it?  What kinds of stories about her anscestors will she be able to share with the baby in a few years?  Just, don't make it a lecture, make it a discussion - maybe you can even construct a photo album about it as a project together.  Along the way, give her some answers for those kids that will empower her and make her able to laugh at their naive, ill-informed remarks while demonstrating her confidence to those kids on the bus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-10-23T23:54:53.197" LastActivityDate="2013-10-23T23:54:53.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9219" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9229" CreationDate="2013-10-23T18:45:38.433" Score="11" ViewCount="1843" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it true that coming into contact with cat feces can harm the unborn baby of pregnant women, whether by a mishap handling kitty litter or gardening in an area where cats may have relieved themselves?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is true, how can pregnant women make sure that they stay safe, since content with feces is generally unwitting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T14:41:05.557" LastActivityDate="2013-10-28T21:26:44.370" Title="Can contact with cat feces be harmful for pregnant women?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|hygiene|sickness|pets|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9219" CreationDate="2013-10-23T19:00:14.253" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;The Centers for Disease Control &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/pregnant.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;report&lt;/a&gt; that there is a risk of exposure to toxoplasmosis, an infection caused by a parasite.  This parasite can be found in cat feces, though the CDC reports that exposure is more likely from undercooked meat or gardening.  (They don't say, but I assume the gardening risk is through animal droppings in general, not just cats.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The CDC gives the following advice to mitigate the risk:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you own a cat, have a non-pregnant person change the litter box every day. If there is no one else to change the litter box, wear gloves and wash hands with soap and running water after changing the litter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Risk may be reduced if the litter box is changed every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep cats indoors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Avoid adopting or handling stray cats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Feed cats only canned or dried commercial cat food, never undercooked or raw meat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not bring a new cat into your house that might have been an outdoor cat or might have been fed raw meat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more information and citations, see the linked article.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Monica Cellio" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-10-23T19:00:14.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9213" CreationDate="2013-10-24T00:14:36.793" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sergio and Dave BOTH have good answers for general activities, but if you are simply looking for a signal to get them to quite down and look at you for transitioning to the next activity there are a number of things to try depending on the specifics of the situation.  You have to teach them it will be a signal and then use it pretty often first, but there are a number of things teachers, camp counselors, parents with large broods, etc. use for this.  Again, most of these have to be taught first, especially with a group that doesn't speak english, but they are quick, simple classroom management tools to get the kids ready to listen or watch for your next instructions.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to use all of these:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sing a popular jingle, but only the first half - for example the&#xA;MacDonald's Da,da,da, da da.  Wait for them to follow with &quot;I'm&#xA;lovin' it.&quot;   The point here is to choose something with which almost&#xA;everyone will be familiar.   &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Clap a rythm and expect them to repeat it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Flip the light switch off and then on again twice. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Whisper, &quot;If you can hear me clap twice.&quot;  Then follow that&#xA;with, &quot;If you can hear me clap three times. . .  and so on.  when&#xA;you have everyone's attention, congratulate them, you only had&#xA;to clap &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt; times this time.  Lets see if it can be less next&#xA;time!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use a song you can play on your musical player (whether it be a CD, Ipod . . . ) that is a motion song like &quot;Jim along Josie&quot; or &quot;I Had a Little Bicycle.&quot;  They do the motions and when the song is over, sit down listening ready.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have a picture of what they should look like to be &quot;ready&quot; for the next activity that you simply stand and point to until most or all of them are in the &quot;ready&quot; position.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put up one hand in the air and the other in the &quot;shh&quot; symbol by your lips and wait quietly - many kids will have experienced this in other environments (yes, even at age four and in other cultures) and will simply copy you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For an idea that will only work once or twice - but requires no &quot;training time&quot; do something completely silly and random like Moo loudly (my favorite was to bray like a donkey).  They'll giggle a lot, but you'll have their attention.  You'll only have them for a few split seconds right afterward, but you will have their attention - now you just have to keep their attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T22:34:12.407" LastActivityDate="2013-10-24T22:34:12.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9191" CreationDate="2013-10-24T00:42:05.747" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is common at this age for kids to be so engaged in their play, they deliberately hold it until something more boring comes along.  Then, they forget they need to go until it is too late.  (I taught preschool, and had the class of kids that were having accidents or were &quot;in training&quot; (they called me the potty wizard I mostly had 2's and 3's but had an occasional four year old that had &quot;reverted&quot; as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since they don't fully grasp cause and effect at this age, it can be a stretch to get them to remember or explain why they waited or why they didn't go in the first place.  This would explain your daughter's inability to answer you when you ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wrote a detailed answer about how to deal with it on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5634/2876&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; that offers more detail about how to talk to her about why it is important to go so often in a way that will be meaningful to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether the reason is Partial holding (she goes potty, but then doesn't let all of it out and as a result needs to go again sooner than she otherwise might need to, or simply that your daughter is enjoying play time and doesn't want to interupt it to go potty, the response is still the same.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make it routine to have her go use the potty frequently whether she thinks she needs to go or not.  Every hour to hour and a half should generally do the trick.  I also have my current charge (three year old boy) go potty any time we change rooms or activities.  That means in order to move from inside to outside he must attempt going potty and clean up the current activity.  He goes before nap (even if wearing a pull-up - it is good to practice), he goes before we go outside AND he goes when we come back inside.  It is so much a part of the routine he rarely protests even if he has gone ten minutes prior but now we are about to go on a walk.  Again, for more details you can look at &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5634/2876&quot;&gt;my answer to this other closely related question.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the problem continues, asking your pediatrician about it at her check up just before she turns five, would be a good way to reassure yourself there is not a physical problem, or to confirm what the problem is so you know how to address it and move forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-10-24T01:01:36.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9223" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-24T08:23:41.223" Score="2" ViewCount="158" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby was born at 32 weeks. He was born without a sucking reflex, so needed to be fed through a nasogastric tube and needed to be in a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neonatal_intensive_care_unit#Incubator&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;humidicrib&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I manage to feed him exclusively on my breast milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2018-09-03T17:34:17.243" LastActivityDate="2018-09-03T17:34:17.243" Title="How can I successfully breastfeed my premature baby?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|premature|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9224" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9230" CreationDate="2013-10-24T08:27:42.373" Score="3" ViewCount="142" Body="&lt;p&gt;All my children were born premature, at 32, 33 and 34 weeks. As such they were all separated from me, and admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, in humidicribs and could not be held for very long periods to begin with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help promote my bond with my premature baby, before I can bring her home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T12:27:58.790" LastActivityDate="2013-10-24T12:27:58.790" Title="What can I do to bond with my premature baby?" Tags="|newborn|premature|attachment|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9225" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10554" CreationDate="2013-10-24T08:35:31.963" Score="5" ViewCount="473" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had never been diabetic, but failed the glucose tolerance test during my pregnancy and have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.&#xA;I am under the care of a specialist and am on insulin and testing my blood sugar levels several times throughout the day, as instructed.  It has been making me feel tired. &#xA;I am not asking for dietary advice, I am under the care of a dietician. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anybody have any good advice or tips  for Mums with gestational diabetes and managing fatigue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-11-23T23:34:04.250" LastActivityDate="2015-03-25T11:01:58.143" Title="Coping with gestational diabetes" Tags="|health|pregnancy|parents|coping|diabetes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9226" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-10-24T08:43:52.087" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;For  Type I (juvenile), Type II  and gestational diabetes. Also including impaired glucose tolerance. In children and pregnant and nursing mothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diabetes has become an increasing problem in the developed world. It can be a serious issue for children diagnosed with juvenile diabetes and can be potentially life threatening. Both hypoglycemia and hyperglycemia can become life threatening conditions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gestational diabetes can affect the health of the unborn child. Some side effects or poorly managed or untreated gestational diabetes are (abnormally) large birth weight, hypoglycemia of the newborn, respiratory distress, increased risk of premature birth, overproduction of amniotic fluid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blood sugar levels of a breast feeding mother are affected whenever she feeds the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some individuals have difficulty managing their blood sugar levels, through no fault of their own, due to their metabolism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A diagnosis of diabetes in a child or a pregnant Mum can be an overwhelming experience emotionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diabetic coma is an extreme and terrifying potential consequence of poorly managed diabetes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T12:12:10.930" LastActivityDate="2013-10-24T12:12:10.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9227" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-10-24T08:43:52.087" Score="0" Body="For coping with  Type I (juvenile), Type II  and gestational diabetes. Also including impaired glucose tolerance. In children and pregnant and nursing mothers. Not for medical advice." OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-24T12:12:20.883" LastActivityDate="2013-10-24T12:12:20.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9219" CreationDate="2013-10-24T12:00:35.023" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not entirely on topic but still relevant. My wife contracted Toxoplasmosis while she was pregnant with our 3rd child. It all ended well but it was one heck of a cliffhanger and could easily have resulted in our daughter being severely handicapped or dead. We have no idea how my wife contracted it. So a few pointers may be helpful for others:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get yourself tested before and during pregnancy. Toxoplasmosis during is pregnancy pretty rare and many doctors know next to nothing about it. We only detected it since my wife is Biology Scientist and we actually had to find a capable Ph.D. student at a local university to get the medical help we needed. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A large part of the population has been infected once and is therefore immune. They still carry the parasite, but it's  harmless for  the fetus. It's only dangerous if you contract it during pregnancy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prevention of Toxoplasmosis (e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/prevent.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/prevent.html&lt;/a&gt;) may not be very effective and/or actionable. My wife grew up deep in farm country, blatantly violating the prevention rules every single day and never contracted it. Still she got it during pregnancy when we were living in the big city and being intentionally careful and super clean.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-10-28T21:26:44.370" LastActivityDate="2013-10-28T21:26:44.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9224" CreationDate="2013-10-24T12:23:43.440" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I spent the majority of my time in NICU, when I could not hold my son, holding his little hand in the incubator.  (Probably helped me more than him,  but who knows?)  Soon as the docs will allow it, ask for some kangaroo time.  Physical contact is a great bonding facilitator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sing to them.  My son, now 30 months old and out of NICU for QUITE a while, still loves the songs I sang to him while he was in NICU the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put up pictures of their family members on the outside of the incubator, looking in.  My son is very bonded with his sister, who could never come into the NICU while he was in there, but whose picture was the only one he could see when laying down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, be kind to yourself.  The folks in the NICU are VERY dedicated to their work and VERY well-trained, and they want to see all the new humans in there go home as quickly as possible.  It's okay to be scared, and to need a good cry.  It's also okay to lean on the community of parents, like myself, who have been-there-done-that.  Probably one of my greatest sources of hope during those dark early days was a nurse who went into NICU training after her daughter was born prematurely and spent some time in NICU. That daughter is now in college.  Knowing other kids made it through that made me breathe just a bit easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Now I'm gonna go have a good cry and a prayer on your behalf, if that's okay.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-10-24T12:23:43.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9219" CreationDate="2013-10-24T12:58:08.487" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Monica Cellio's answer already mentions recommendations if you own a cat and most of all that you're &lt;strong&gt;much more likely&lt;/strong&gt; to contract toxoplasmosis through &lt;strong&gt;undercooked meat&lt;/strong&gt; (most of the contamination cases) and gardening — you may add &lt;strong&gt;insufficiently washed legums and fruits&lt;/strong&gt;.  There are much more informations &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;on the CDC website&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel it's also important to understand why the risks of being contaminated by a cat is small :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the cat can contaminate only once in his live ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it takes 2 to 5 days for the eggs to develop under good conditions (that is, feces of an infected cat cannot contaminate you the first day, hence the recommandation to clean the litter everyday) ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eggs &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; good conditions to develop (e.g. feces in litter or soil) ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the cat will be able to contaminate for only a few days to a few weeks (possibly longer if he has specific diseases like &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feline_immunodeficiency_virus&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;FIV&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feline_leukemia_virus&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;FeLV&lt;/a&gt;) ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you'd have to ingest those eggs contained in (few days old) cat feces to be contaminated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you follow basic hygiene rules, it's unlikely that the conditions are met.  It's even more unlikely if your cat never goes outdoor and only eats commercial cat food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However there is no zero risk, and indeed consequences on the baby can be quite terrible, so it's important to be particularly careful during the pregnancy.  But again, pay more attention to your food, because it's by food that you're most likely to contract toxoplasmosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Disclaimer : I'm neither a physician nor a vet, just reporting informations published on other (trustable, IMO) websites.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastEditorUserId="4929" LastEditDate="2013-10-28T11:39:22.740" LastActivityDate="2013-10-28T11:39:22.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9047" CreationDate="2013-10-25T12:50:09.053" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm so sorry for your loss Skippy. It looks like you already have some wonderful advice, and it looks as though some time has passed as well.  I do not have experience with this kind of loss, but I have known a large number of adolescents that were adopted and had feelings of abandonment and the sense of inadiquacy that goes with it for some, so I thought I'd just add this thought to the mix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I totally understand that Dad cannot be replaced.  However, I am a firm believer that every child needs close male and female role models and having this helps mitigate the pains and blows of losses (particularly during adolescence). Now, I'm not saying hurry and get remarried or anything (that would be obnoxious, insensitive and completely unrealistic as well as not at all what I mean).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am saying is, &lt;strong&gt;Is there an uncle that lives near, or a close friend you trust&lt;/strong&gt; that can be sure to spend a lot of time with each of them? Go camping, take them to &quot;the game&quot; laugh with them, cry with them? etc. in that uniquely masculine way?  The kids I've known that did suffer a loss - by accident, nature, or suicide (only one though) that had a male role-model from a source outside the home seemed significantly helped by that relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also knew a few adolescents that were adopted by a wonderful lesbian couple. These twins were having confidence issues (and one had associated behavior problems).  When, during a meeting, I suggested fostering a relationship with an adult male mentor and seeing if that could help (I knew these moms quite well) they were excited at the idea and had a couple of friends they felt would fit the job well.  The transformation in attitude by the one twin in particular (but confidence in both) over the next year and a half/two years (I had them for three years in my advisory/homeroom class) was amazing and wonderful to witness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing they are loved and accepted by you and can talk to you about anything, is, obviously THE MOST important thing.  This is just an idea that would hopefully add another element of support for your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-10-25T12:50:09.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9124" CreationDate="2013-10-25T16:25:24.667" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I lived through the same situation when my daughter was a baby. Some ideas that I found helpful were tightly swaddling her in a blanket (I think it helped minimize those jerky movements babies sometimes make when sleeping, inadvertently waking themselves up), using a fan to generate white noise in the bedroom, putting a warmed cherry-stone pillow in with her (a hot water bottle for infants also works), and waiting to put her down until she was deeply asleep - you should be able to pull his arm out from his body and let it go and it will fall limply.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also wondering if your baby will sleep by himself somewhere outside of his crib. Mine would sleep ok in the baby swing, on a blanket on the floor or reclined in the stroller. She slept the best by herself on our bed - we put bolsters around her so she couldn't fall off. Later we ditched the crib and she slept on a futon on the floor. She just hated the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more ideas about helping your baby to sleep, I liked The No Cry Sleep Solution. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-10-25T16:25:24.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9124" CreationDate="2013-10-25T22:11:02.580" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I see it, there are two ways to approach this one:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Approach Number One: Embrace your Snuggler&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;My daughter was very much like this when she was a baby.  Desperate for a break once in awhile I tried &quot;crying it out&quot; but since she also had reflux, she just got herself worked up so much she threw up all over her crib.  It took less than a week for me to look at my husband and go, &quot;this just isn't helping.&quot;  I got a baby sling and learned how to wash dishes, fold laundry and all of it with a baby attached (I'd been avoiding bumping my big ol' belly for a few months already so in reality it didn't change much anyway).  We let her fall asleep with us, and after checking she was truly all the way asleep (mouth slightly open, no fluttering eyelids, deep breaths and fully limp) we'd put her down in her crib and have a little time before she needed us (me) again.  For night-time feedings, I'd feed her, stick her back in the co-sleeper and go back to sleep.  I think I actually got MORE sleep this way while she still needed those night-time feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she was two we still had the rocking chair in her room and she would lay in her bed while one of us sat inn the chair reading or working on a lap-top till she fell asleep when we'd tip-toe out of the room.  She still shows up in our room in the middle of the night to snuggle from time-to-time at age seven, but those nights are so rare now, I'm almost glad for them when they do come.  Sometimes I miss the snuggling now that she needs so much less of it.  Most nights she sleeps really well, and she is very flexible about where she sleeps when we travel too (she can sleep pretty much anywhere).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ADVANTAGES:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These babies can sleep anywhere as long as they have a little snuggle time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You get to feel closely connected to baby and enjoy all the snuggles and so does baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you also co-sleep, mom's sleep will feel less interrupted when breast-feeding than having to get up entirely etc. for the process.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I was also able to breast feed with her in the sling (once I got used to using it) so I could double up and grade students papers or do dishes or something if I was in a real crunch for time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The sling is a much safer place for baby (when properly used) than many other places, AND the baby can sleep there as well as watch, learn and interact with you while in the sling it makes multi-tasking AND being totally tuned in to baby pretty easy to do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;DISADVANTAGES:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having time alone with each-other can be awkward and difficult as child might wander in at any time iykwim.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It takes longer to put baby down which can mean lost time for all kinds of things.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While in the stage where snuggling is required, (which lasts awhile) it also makes it difficult to go out, being celebrating and other such things when you will be away at bedtime.  Timing outings for before bedtime or only after bedtime is finished is necessary at times unless you have a family member or sitter everyone is &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; comfortable with available.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Approach Number Two: Teach Baby how to sleep with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rakuten.com/prod/the-baby-sleep-solution/202452825.html?listingId=226516553&amp;amp;s_kwcid=&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Baby Sleep Training Solution&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; (Or Perhaps, the NO-Cry Solution or other similar ones - though I have no experience with these what-so-ever)  Cry it out methods are NOT good for kids under six months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book I recommend is by Suzy Giordano and although we did not use this method with our daughter, I know a family that has used it successfully with two baby boys quite well.  The book goes over what is going on with kids at each age-level and what to do depending on the month range your child falls under.  It is respectful of baby AND parents and from what I've seen works really well.  It isn't as harsh as various &quot;cry it out&quot; methods I've seen even though there is an element of this after six months (but it really is a lot less painful with the pre-training that is offered up at the earlier ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With this method, at the stage/age you are at now, it goes over how to wake baby gently and put baby down in a settled calm way so that baby falls back to sleep again on his/her own and learns to settle him/herself so sleeping comes easier later as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ADVANTAGES&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once trained, it is SUPER EASY to put baby to sleep at night and if the routine is followed, ANYONE can do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Training steps are age appropriate and developmental steps with baby are actually considered so you can rest (or do chores or whatever while baby rests) peacefully knowing you aren't hurting baby's psyche.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;DISADVANTAGES&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby is somewhat constrained (and even toddler and pre-school aged child later on) to a very specific sleep environment and routine.  This makes it harder to travel or let various other family members take over when they visit (as well as baby-sitters that are not trained in sleep training)  Travel remains difficult even into the preschool years because they are not in their own sleep environment and have a hard time falling asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When baby is sick and extra sleep is needed, it can be difficult to stick to the suggested routines and still allow for that extra sleep (in my experience with it though the book may address this better than I think - I've only read parts of it and used training from it as it applies to when I am with the boys).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Whatever others say&lt;/strong&gt;, your baby's sleep as well as your own are closely intertwined either way you go.  Sleep matters and it IS a big deal, but doing this &quot;wrong&quot; isn't really possible unless you just chuck all efforts to let your baby sleep all together.  &lt;strong&gt;A few stalls now, won't hurt baby later.  If baby needs you to fall asleep now - it doesn't mean baby will always have a hard time on his/her own.  Likewise, a time or two of crying it out now isn't going to mean baby thinks you aren't there for him when he is older.&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These things are never as &quot;critical&quot; as various camps like to think they are for later on in life really.  For centuries moms and dads have been making it up as they go and for centuries most kids grow in to relatively well balanced and productive healthy adults - crying included or not.  It is your job to find a &lt;strong&gt;system that works for your baby AND for you&lt;/strong&gt;.  If mom and dad aren't healthy, baby won't be either &lt;strong&gt;so taking care of yourselves&lt;/strong&gt; (including considering what is convenient for you) &lt;strong&gt;Is important&lt;/strong&gt; too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-02T17:15:57.940" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T17:15:57.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9238" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-26T00:52:55.913" Score="11" ViewCount="7968" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today I went through my daughters Kik account (a messaging service) just to make sure she wasn’t getting “creepers.” From what I have seen in the past, she is very behaved on there (i.e., she refuses to engage in sexting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, however, I found a very long and graphic conversation between my daughter and another girl. I have already decided that if this dialogue were with a male she would be in huge trouble, but I am still confused as to how to handle this: in the event that she is gay, I don’t want her to be ashamed or embarrassed about it, and maybe she just isn’t ready to talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I handle this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4971" LastEditorUserId="25927" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2017-06-25T19:04:28.287" LastActivityDate="2017-06-25T19:04:28.287" Title="My 13 year old is sexting need advice" Tags="|development|teen|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9238" CreationDate="2013-10-26T13:21:20.333" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great question!  I don't have personal experience with this one, but have had a number of close friends who are gay.  I think every one of them would agree with me when I say, Handle it the same way you would if it was a boy - almost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, from the way you've worded the question, it seems you don't believe she should be having a highly sexual discourse (or relationship) with anyone at her age. You'll need to mostly focus on that fact with her.  She'll want to focus on the fact that you were snooping as a way to avoid the rest of the conversation so be prepared for that fact.  In my opinion, if there isn't already a prior understanding between you about it, own up to the fact that you snooped, apologize for it (because it is a break in trust - even if you feel it is a justified break) and then insist on moving on in the conversation to discuss the sexual content of their texts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be a joke between the two girls (teen-aged kids have a strange sense of humor) so you still shouldn't jump to any conclusions, but I would approach her and say pretty much what you'd say if it were a boy on the other end of the conversation.  The only difference is, you'll have to clarify for her that your concern is about the sexual content and NOT the gender of the person on the other end of the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she says it was all a joke, remind her that you would still love her if she were gay (in case she is just covering - and because telling them you love them no matter is always a good thing anyway - especially when you are mad or concerned) and it isn't okay to have highly sexual telephone convos even when it is a joke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure within the conversation to offer her room to speak - try to keep it a conversation and not a lecture and you will get a lot further with her, she is more likely to open up more with you and you'll come out of it with more knowledge about your daughter and hopefully a sense of trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/7190/2876&quot;&gt;question&lt;/a&gt; and its answers may offer up some helpful thoughts and does contain some discussion about the &quot;snooping&quot; aspect of things, it is a question posted by a parent upset to discover her child might be gay - so is quite different, but some of the ANSWERS are closely related.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-10-26T14:08:35.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9240" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9242" CreationDate="2013-10-26T14:20:57.707" Score="6" ViewCount="1190" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A Little Background&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was raised Christian, and still believe in God and Christ's message of love, but am estranged from most Christian Churches because I don't find them to be truly loving places (members are often quite judgmental - particularly in our area and certain platitudes are passed on in Sunday School Classes as well.  As a result, none of us attends church with any regularity).  My husband is agnostic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is seven, home schooled, and living in a heavily conservative region both politically and religiously in the US. Yet, I have friends with Jewish as well as Christian backgrounds. One set of grandparents is vehemently Atheist while the other is loosely Christian. I am Christian but like my parents very liberally so (many Christians in our area would not consider me Christian at all). We have some gay and lesbian friends as well, so our household is what I would describe as one of love and acceptance for most (KKK members, nazis and the like not allowed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, for her to have friends, it seems many of them are Christians, that in my opinion would fall into that crowd of people that are unknowingly rubbing elbows with the KKK and the Nazis in their level of judgement toward others thankfully, they are no where near as violent.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter wants to consider herself Christian despite the fact that I have told her time and again, she can't really make that choice until she understands a lot more about the faith as well as other belief systems.  Many of her friends are Christian and so is half her family and at seven, life is all about fitting in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Problem&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, because we had a pumpkin carving party, she had a couple of &quot;friends&quot; at school turn her down and claim she isn't really a Christian because she celebrates a pagan holiday (Little do they know that most of what we do at &quot;Christmas&quot; and &quot;Easter&quot; are also quite &quot;pagan&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is feeling horrible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explained that in their view we aren't true Christians because we don't believe what they think we are supposed to believe to be Christians. I talked to her about how Jesus taught us about love and forgiveness, so I don't believe their actions and words were Christian under my definition of the word either. I also told her I don't believe any of them are really old enough to truly have chosen a faith yet anyway. I reassured her that it was wonderful to be who she is with or without a faith-label and that there are plenty of good people that are not Christian (her Dad being one of them) as well as plenty of good people who are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also talked a lot about friendship and what it means to be a good friend and what kinds of friends we want in our lives anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, she is still feeling horrible, left out and judged harshly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas about how to talk to her about this one?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, any ideas about how to guide her in speaking with others about faith and belief when it comes up in a way that allows for her to &quot;save face&quot; with others while also standing true to &quot;the journey?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-10-26T14:53:17.727" LastActivityDate="2013-10-27T00:33:17.807" Title="How do you help a seven year old navigate life and friendships in a region where your beliefs vastly differ from the beliefs of the larger community" Tags="|religion|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9240" CreationDate="2013-10-26T17:36:20.080" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in Texas - much empathy! When we moved here our children were in middle school, and one of the first things my children's new friends asked was &quot;What religion are you?&quot; They had never encountered this before, but here in Texas many families, including children, identify heavily with a particular religion, most often a Christian religion. There were many invitations to join churches and youth groups. Some things we figure out:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When people invite you to their churches, they are offering to include you in something that is very dear to them. This is gracious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When people ask you what your religion is, they want to know if you are like them. While you may not be a person who embraces organized religion, you can offer them information that helps them see that even though you do not go to church, you still have values similar to them: &quot;We don't belong to any particular church, but we try to live by Jesus's example&quot; or &quot;We prefer a relationship with God that is less formal, but I am always  interested to hear about other people's churches...&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Since your community appears to be quite fundamentalist, consider that inviting someone of that belief system to carve pumpkins would be akin to them inviting you to a religious ritual. It is part of the socialization process to understand and avoid inviting people to things once you know it is counter to their beliefs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are extremists in religion and politics, but most people fall in the middle. Be aware that you may be painting your neighbors with too wide a brush. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In my experience, the people who are most vocal are often the people who are the most fearful. It may feel like judgment to you (and it is), but it is an expression of where they are at in the journey of life, and they just aren't where you are. And what would Jesus do in this situation (smile)? He would love them. Life has led you to a particular belief system, and it has led them to another. It comes across as personal, but you have to learn to de-personalize it. Counter it with kindness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So,  what to teach your daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Other people have different beliefs than we do, and that's okay.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If we know someone believes things differently than we do, we honor that by trying not to offend them. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When talking about faith, she can simply say, &quot;We believe in Jesus, but we don't go to any particular church.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you mention your daughter is home-schooled, and if her friends are also home-schoolers, you may have inadvertently limited her social circle, as many families choose home schooling for religious reasons. You might try taking her to a wider range of activities, like sport activities at the YMCA or science or reading activities at the local library. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-26T17:36:20.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9243" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9299" CreationDate="2013-10-26T20:56:14.780" Score="6" ViewCount="12795" Body="&lt;p&gt;I spend a lot of time caring for a three-year-old that is a pretty picky eater.  However, the stuff he does eat is generally fairly healthy stuff.  Lately he has started gagging on food he isn't sure about before he tries them.  Normally, I'd just continue with the &quot;you need to try it&quot; thing (as would his mother - her parenting style is actually quite similar to mine which is REALLY nice!)  However, the thing about this one is that they are honest gags followed by coughing and sometimes even a little throw-up.  I think he just gets himself so worked up in his head about how it will be awful that then when he tries the thing it really is that awful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One example is at a party he gagged on peanut butter and ritz cracker sandwiches (one of his absolute favorites) because they were made to look like spiders with two raisin eyes (he loves raisins) and eight crunchy chow mien noodles (which his mom had picked off already).  That example alone isn't a big deal, but it definitely shows how it is really in his head and not about actual taste or texture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else experienced this?  what did you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-10-28T04:41:17.390" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T12:41:41.517" Title="Three year old gags when he tries new foods" Tags="|toddler|food|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9240" CreationDate="2013-10-27T00:33:17.807" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, recognize that the refusal itself wasn't inappropriate, just the &lt;em&gt;manner&lt;/em&gt; of the refusal.  It's okay for people to not want to actively participate in activities that are contrary to their beliefs, whatever the source of those beliefs. religious or secular.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jesus actually faced similar criticism many times.  Just look for any stories mentioning Pharisees.  They frequently criticized Jesus for participating in events they considered to be beneath them.  Perhaps it would help your daughter to read some of those stories and point out that her friends were acting like the Pharisees, and Jesus would much rather hang out with her.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/02/parables-of-mercy&quot;&gt;Here's&lt;/a&gt; an article that goes into more detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-27T00:33:17.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9245" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-27T15:35:51.717" Score="10" ViewCount="965" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lately, my 5 year old daughter keeps focusing on things she doesn't have (some game that her friend has or some doll that she saw on a commercial that she &quot;needs&quot;) and although she has plenty of dolls and toys, she doesn't seem to have any appreciation for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, we took her to a show and out to get ice cream and had a very nice day.  At the end of the show, she wanted to get a doll from the show and we told her no (because it was quite expensive) and she lost it and got hysterical because &quot;she really needed and wanted&quot; that doll and liked it more than any of her existing dolls.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try very hard to show and have her participate in charity and other activities and try to remind her that she is very lucky to have a home and food and toys, and there are many other people who aren't so lucky, but she still seems like she is missing an &quot;appreciation gene&quot; both in terms of being thankful for what she has and always focusing and getting hystical if she can't get something that she doesn't have.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess a bit of this is general human nature and general 5 year old human nature but I wanted to see if anyone had suggestion for how to improve or ways to focus on this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:18:18.107" LastActivityDate="2014-11-25T00:09:19.273" Title="How do I get my 5 year old to be more appreciative and thankful for what she has?" Tags="|primary-schooler|social-development|motivation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9182" CreationDate="2013-10-27T15:42:17.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I liked Mary Jo's answer very much:  children's lives when they start going out into the big world are not stress free.  Looking at the specific behavior (saying her daddy would shoot the little boy) I would add one more thing to check:  Is it possible a babysitter recently allowed her to watch a (relatively) violent movie/TV show, perhaps as a &quot;secret&quot; between them, and this is her way of trying to deal with the scary/confusing way the characters in the show behaved?  And she feels she can't tell you because this was supposed to be a secret?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you never pinpoint the cause, however, don't beat yourself or your kid up over it.  Your child is not a bad egg.  Children misbehave, if only to find out what their parents' response will be when they do.  If you deal with it appropriately -- calm and loving but firm -- she should be reassured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more point:  If this is your oldest, and she's that good usually, be grateful.  It will make your life easier when the next one comes, especially if he/she turns out to be a spitfire!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-10-27T15:42:17.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9247" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9249" CreationDate="2013-10-27T22:13:50.510" Score="6" ViewCount="864" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Toxoplasmosis&lt;/a&gt; is a disease which seems to be, most of the time, not serious for humans (according to Wikipedia, up to a third of the world’s human population is estimated to be infected). &#xA;After being infected for the first time, humans produce antibodies which prevent further infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But Toxoplasmosis can be very serious for unborn childs if the woman gets infected &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis#Pregnancy_precautions&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;while being pregnant&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/9219/3634&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Can contact with cat feces be harmful for pregnant women?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; Hilmar &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/9229/3634&quot;&gt;answered&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you have not been infected and planning to get pregnant consider getting yourself infected on purpose. The infection has mild symptoms, if any, and afterwards you and your baby will be completely safe. Discuss with your doctor (if you can find one that knows about this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you know about this? Do (some) physicians recommend this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, it could be a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/8672/3634&quot;&gt;long-term preparation for becoming a parent&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3634" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2023-04-24T11:00:07.460" Title="Intentional infection with Toxoplasmosis before getting pregnant?" Tags="|health|sickness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9245" CreationDate="2013-10-27T22:18:47.037" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;You recognize already that this is a developmental issue. It takes time, work, and maturity to develop. In addition, I think what you are describing is more than an appreciation issue. It can also be about &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;control. A five-year-old has very little control in her life - she doesn't get to choose how the money is spent, what time she goes to bed, what she eats, or whether or not the babysitter is coming. She may be trying to exert some control over her environment by making demands and trying to get you to capitulate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;measuring personal value. Even at her young age, she may have already learned that gifts are an expression of love. She may be demanding an expression of love.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;competition. Even 5-year-olds can be aware of what the Joneses have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a lack of understanding about finances. Things cost money, and that's a bit abstract at 5.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;an inability to delay gratification. This one is not only developmental, it is also a disease of current culture!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Never buy her anything when she makes demands. Yea for you! Be firm and calm and a broken record at multiple requests, and change the subject. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach appreciation by demonstrating it often. Whenever I went anywhere with my kids, they not only heard me expressing gratitude for services to providers of service, but I would also talk to them about why I felt grateful: &quot;Wasn't that nice of him to bring us extra napkins? He must have noticed how messy this pizza looked!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach appreciation by appreciating your children's efforts: &quot;Thank you for bringing over your bowl. That saved me a trip!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your child areas of control. Whenever possible give her choices. &quot;We are having cereal this morning. Would you like Chex or Cheerios? Big spoon or little spoon?&quot; &quot;Which should we do first, bath or brush teeth?&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find ways to show her you love her that have nothing to do with material purchases. &quot;I'm so lucky to be your Mum. Can I sit by you on the couch?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach that we don't buy things just because others do. &quot;Sally is lucky to have that doll, and you are lucky to have nice toys too. Every family tries to choose the best toys for their children, but we can't choose every one.&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach finances. Consider starting her on an allowance. An allowance says to a child that you get a certain amount of money because you are a member of this family and you get to choose how we spend this amount of our money.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach delayed gratification by making her wait: &quot;I know you are ready for dessert, but we are going to eat dessert together when the table is cleared.&quot; &quot;Of course you can watch your video, but I need 10 minutes of quiet first. Thanks for helping me out!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure you are already doing many of these things! It takes time. I will say that with my children, they learned very early to express gratitude to others outside the family, but sometimes they were slower to express it to us as their parents. This is what led us to understand it wasn't just an appreciation issue - children don't usually have control issues with strangers but they have them aplenty with Mum and Dad!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-27T22:18:47.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9247" CreationDate="2013-10-27T22:56:17.260" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No! While symptoms may be mild or nonexistent at onset, the existence of antibodies may be a contributor to a whole host of psychological and nervous conditions.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Authors of an article titled &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3488815/&quot;&gt;Latent Toxoplasmosis and Humans&lt;/a&gt; (retrieved from the National Institute of Health database) review 42 studies of latent toxoplasmosis (asymptomatic), which established links between toxoplasmosis antibodies and &quot;schizophrenia and depressive disorders, obsessive–compulsive disorder, Alzheimer's diseases and Parkinson's disease, epilepsy, headache and or migraine, mental retardation and intelligence quotients...&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And this is from the abstract of another such article (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23225875&quot;&gt;Influence of latent Toxoplasma infection on human personality, physiology and morphology: pros and cons of the Toxoplasma-human model in studying the manipulation hypothesis&lt;/a&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The parasitic protozoan Toxoplasma gondii infects about one-third of&#xA;  the population of developed countries. The life-long presence of&#xA;  dormant stages of this parasite in the brain and muscular tissues of&#xA;  infected humans is usually considered asymptomatic from the clinical&#xA;  point of view. In the past 20 years, research performed mostly on&#xA;  military personnel, university students, pregnant women and blood&#xA;  donors has shown that this 'asymptomatic' disease has a large&#xA;  influence on various aspects of human life. Toxoplasma-infected&#xA;  subjects differ from uninfected controls in the personality profile&#xA;  estimated with two versions of Cattell's 16PF, Cloninger's TCI and Big&#xA;  Five questionnaires. Most of these differences increase with the&#xA;  length of time since the onset of infection, suggesting that&#xA;  Toxoplasma influences human personality rather than human personality&#xA;  influencing the probability of infection. Toxoplasmosis increases the&#xA;  reaction time of infected subjects, which can explain the increased&#xA;  probability of traffic accidents in infected subjects reported in&#xA;  three retrospective and one very large prospective case-control study.&#xA;  Latent toxoplasmosis is associated with immunosuppression, which might&#xA;  explain the increased probability of giving birth to a boy in&#xA;  Toxoplasma-infected women and also the extremely high prevalence of&#xA;  toxoplasmosis in mothers of children with Down syndrome.&#xA;  Toxoplasma-infected male students are about 3 cm taller than&#xA;  Toxoplasma-free subjects and their faces are rated by women as more&#xA;  masculine and dominant. These differences may be caused by an&#xA;  increased concentration of testosterone. Toxoplasma also appears to be&#xA;  involved in the initiation of more severe forms of schizophrenia. At&#xA;  least 40 studies confirmed an increased prevalence of toxoplasmosis&#xA;  among schizophrenic patients. Toxoplasma-infected schizophrenic&#xA;  patients differ from Toxoplasma-free schizophrenic patients by brain&#xA;  anatomy and by a higher intensity of the positive symptoms of the&#xA;  disease. Finally, five independent studies performed in blood donors,&#xA;  pregnant women and military personnel showed that RhD blood group&#xA;  positivity, especially in RhD heterozygotes, protects infected&#xA;  subjects against various effects of latent toxoplasmosis, such as the&#xA;  prolongation of reaction times, an increased risk of traffic accidents&#xA;  and excessive pregnancy weight gain. The modern human is not a natural&#xA;  host of Toxoplasma. Therefore, it can only be speculated which of the&#xA;  observed effects of latent toxoplasmosis are the result of the&#xA;  manipulation activity of the Toxoplasma aimed to increase the&#xA;  probability of its transmission from a natural intermediate to the&#xA;  definitive host by predation, and which are just side effects of&#xA;  chronic infection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-27T22:56:17.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9247" CreationDate="2013-10-28T10:42:42.630" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will add to Mary Jo Finch's excellent answer that toxoplasmosis can make you quite miserable if you get it. It is one of the three known pathogens that cause symptoms that we know as mononucleosis. And as you probably know, the older you are, the longer the immune reaction (i.e. horrible tiredness) is likely to last. From the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;wiki page&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enlarged lymph nodes will resolve within one to two months in 60% of&#xA;cases. However, &lt;strong&gt;a quarter of those affected take two to four months to&#xA;return to normal, and 8% take four to six months. A substantial number&#xA;(6%) do not return to normal until much later&lt;/strong&gt;.[12]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This refers just to those who do develop symptoms. If you happen to be one of them, it is no fun at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="35525" LastEditDate="2023-04-24T11:00:07.460" LastActivityDate="2023-04-24T11:00:07.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9253" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-29T03:34:46.060" Score="10" ViewCount="12985" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some activities that one can do whilst breastfeeding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A quick Google turned up lists that boiled down to &quot;watch TV&quot; or &quot;enjoy doing nothing&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm interested in some more creative solutions to feeling bored / limited by nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3962" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T12:09:34.670" Title="Things to do while breastfeeding, other than watch TV" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9245" CreationDate="2013-10-29T03:44:41.787" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on your circumstances this may seem like a drastic solution, but this is what I recommend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take your family on holiday to India, or some other developing nation. Make an effort to go to places where you will see some real disadvantage, where she will see little girls with dusty dreadlocks, torn dresses and no shoes (and not much food).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider sponsoring a child or family from the area you visited and use this as a reminder. &quot;Isn't that a nice dress, remember XX in India - she only has one dress, remember. Aren't we lucky!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I haven't actually tried this with a five year old, so take it with a grain of salt, but in my experience adults get a real perspective change seeing poverty first hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3962" LastActivityDate="2013-10-29T03:44:41.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9253" CreationDate="2013-10-29T09:52:48.910" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may end up getting a long list of answers, which isn't ideal on Stack Exchange, but my wife did the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;watch TV&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;read books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;listen to music&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but also, kept going with our normal active life with pauses to feed: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hiking, then feeding on hilltops to appreciate the view&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;boating, on both punts and yachts&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She found using a sling made this very easy. She could feed the baby in privacy while holding conversation at parties. She could even walk and feed at the same time, although this wasn't her preferred option. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, if you can get comfortable with feeding easily, you can do it anywhere - which gives you a lot of flexibility and freedom. Don't let it stop you going places or seeing things, or socialising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-10-29T09:52:48.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9196" CreationDate="2013-10-29T16:37:07.940" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having used a Summer video monitor for the last 10 months with our kid my answer would be &quot;no, but recognize what you are giving up.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest two things are these: (1) the &quot;just works&quot; nature of an off the shelf solution and (2) the value of a dedicated device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;just works&lt;/strong&gt; is offset a little by the fact that these things aren't the best engineered gadgets I have ever used, but consider what I get with this Summer: for $220 from Amazon I have a device that includes a pan and tilt camera with excellent IR, a battery-operated monitor (with support for multiple cameras if I wanted to buy more), both wall warts, a battery holder base for the camera to use it elsewhere, and a recharging cradle for the monitor. The camera is already in a casing with mounting no more complicated than putting a picture on the wall, and it was functioning within 5 minutes of taking it out of the box. It never needed me to debug anything or patch any of the software. I can't alter some of its annoying behavior - a non-configurable power-saving screen darkening, for example - but it never fails to do what it is supposed to or requires my involvement if, say, my wife were to have an issue with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;dedicated device&lt;/strong&gt; is a bigger plus than I would have initially realized. I don't have to stop what I am doing with my phone or a tablet or change windows on my pc to view the sleeping boy. I look to my left where I am right now and the screen is up. I don't have to worry about whether the lack of sound I hear is because he's really asleep or because the app has timed out or lost audio control to another application or whatever. It is always doing exactly what I need it to and nothing else is running down the battery (if I don't have it on its cradle) or taking focus away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those two things are, in my opinion, an excellent reason you should not do this. If your life or relationship organization is such that the time investment of making your solution work well won't be an issue and you have hardware to devote to it, maybe this is not a concern for you. But I would suggest you at the very least consider where the camera will need to go and how you'll keep it there... and keep it there once the toddler is yanking things that are accessible. In my experience the cameras you'd use to solve this problem will be more expensive than the baby devices which have their prices depressed by the fact that so many of them are sold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2013-10-29T16:37:07.940" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9147" CreationDate="2013-10-29T16:45:44.430" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/truth-dreams-nightmares-night-terrors/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Babies at that age can dream, and they can have nightmares&lt;/a&gt;. It's not uncommon and not necessarily something to worry about, all other things being equal. If she's self-soothing herself to sleep after waking, great. If she's not and you have to console her a little before putting her back down, well, there are worse things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2013-10-29T16:45:44.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2013-10-30T02:27:56.030" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start going to the gym. If I'd realised before I had my first child how quickly she'd increase in size and weight, and if I'd realised that my sedentary lifestyle was not equipping me for picking up and carrying around babies, I might have made more effort to get stronger beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not suggesting you need to be an Olympic weightlifter in order to happily wrangle your child, but you want a strong, flexible back for when you need to lean over and pick your child up, and good strong legs if you need to bounce your child to sleep. Sadly (at least in my case) it turned out the ability to run marathons didn't correlate well with the ability to bounce up and down for twenty minutes while holding a 6 kilogram weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2013-10-30T02:27:56.030" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8988" CreationDate="2013-10-30T12:34:28.030" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The solution is in your question :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;some of them also early decide that they will be artists, dancers, athletes, house-wives, etc so they don't need mathematics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Involve their goal/hobbies/interests in your teaching.&lt;/strong&gt;  There is a high level of opportunity there.  Applied mathematics are probably the key for most people having issues with formal mathematics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can start by finding problems related to each discipline :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use of the golden ratio in art ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;see James Snell's comment below for suggestions about dance ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what is the best angle to throw a javelin (physics is involved here as well, but anyway) ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;finding proportions in cooking recipes ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fibonacci series in nature ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The forementioned examples may only apply as recreational topics since they may differ from mathematical topics you &lt;em&gt;have to&lt;/em&gt; teach, but recreational topics are useful to focus the attention and trigger an interest.  You can also involved more generic (i.e. not interest-focused) mathematical games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, for each student and for each mathematical topic you have to teach, ask yourself : &quot;&lt;strong&gt;how can this topic be applied to this student's interests ?&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;.  Beware that just replacing apples and oranges by paintbrushes and javelins probably won't lead you very far.  In most cases you'll have to find something more sophisticated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, when you are happy with a mathematical problem, even if it's aimed towards a particular interest, do not hesitate to present it to students with other interests.  It's likely that they will be interested in applied mathematics even though it's not related to their favorite topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mathematics are hidden everywhere in the real world.  Therefore to make mathematics interesting is just a matter of finding the most adapted magnifying lens for each individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastEditorUserId="4929" LastEditDate="2013-11-02T19:43:13.253" LastActivityDate="2013-11-02T19:43:13.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9265" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9268" CreationDate="2013-10-30T14:20:01.243" Score="7" ViewCount="1887" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 2 weeks old (tomorrow) and I have a few questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He eats every 2 hours (not all the time, sometimes after 3, 3 and half hours),&#xA;he eats 50ml, sometimes 60ml (most of the time it is a mother milk, but at the night he eats formula), is this ok ?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He cries a lot when he is naked :) and he wants to sleep but instead of that he cries, need to worry about this ?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it normal for baby to breath fast (not all the time, just after he eats and I put him in the bed)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He sleeps much more better in transporter and on my chest then in his own bed, is something I need to change?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for your help and I appreciate your advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4991" LastEditorUserId="4454" LastEditDate="2013-11-19T21:04:13.537" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T21:04:13.537" Title="2 weeks old, sleeping, crying, eating" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9265" CreationDate="2013-10-30T14:57:21.200" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have a normal newborn just like the rest of us did at some point (or some of us are hoping to have). They all have preferences, and may be uncomfortable in some positions and not in others. Our job is to feed them, change them, and make sure that they are as comfortable as possible. Their job is to challenge us by sending mixed messages and robbing us from sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, nothing sounds out of the ordinary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-10-30T14:57:21.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9238" CreationDate="2013-10-30T20:38:23.730" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Handle it exactly how you would if it was with a guy.  Anything else is just another form of discrimination. She, being a teenager, may try to manipulate you by accusing you of overreacting because it's a girl, but you know it's not, so just reinforce that you are concerned with the behavior itself, not the gender of who it was with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2013-10-30T20:38:23.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9265" CreationDate="2013-10-30T21:51:22.380" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember that your baby just spent months in a cozy, warm, dark womb. Being out in the light and the cool, dry air is unfamiliar. And crying is the only way to express discomfort  - babies cry for hunger, for tiredness, for being too cold or too hot, for wanting to be held...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you hold him, try to snuggle him up like he was in the womb. He is not used to having his feet free or not having his head push against something. When you put him down to sleep, try swaddling him - wrapping a blanket around him an a way that keeps his legs and arms from moving too much, like being in the womb. Babies who spend too much in a transporter can develop a flat spot on the backs of their heads, so between sleeps, make sure you take him out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants can breathe between 30 and 60 times a minute - it's pretty quick, and nothing to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Dave says, it all sounds very normal!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-10-30T21:51:22.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9270" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-31T04:06:28.250" Score="4" ViewCount="583" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is an absolute master at making everything take longer than it needs to (particularly when avoiding something she doesn't want to do, or prolonging something she is enjoying).  It is a challenge we've dealt with for a long time and we've done a few things that have helped to keep her focused in the house, like setting up a musical routine for morning and bedtime routines, having a timer around and easily used in every room, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are still two areas where she frequently stalls we still haven't solved:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When leaving friends houses, Tai Kwon Do classes, the theater (drama classes and activities), school, (and she engages the other mother/father in conversation in order to avoid leaving).  She especially engages in these behaviors if she knows she is leaving and has chores, bedtime or other &quot;undesirable&quot; activities to head toward.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Anytime she has to write anything - She hates writing and always has.  I have a number of methods I use to deal with this with her at home with varying degrees of success depending on the day, but when she is at school, or with others, the result is it all winds up needing doing at home.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her methods of stalling tend to be the same ones most kids use and I have countermoves for most of them.  However, I am amazed at how she can easily trick other adults (and yes, sometimes I fall for it too - occasionally) into engaging in conversations with her that delay whatever it is she is attempting to delay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has a great vocabulary and easily impresses adults with it, gets them talking with her and makes it very difficult to move one from one thing to the next.  I can politely say, &quot;we really have to go&quot; ten times, but she can still manage to get them speaking with her again.  Her teacher at school lets her do classroom chores like clean the board instead of the writing assignment while they engage in chit-chat.  Meanwhile Alice isn't getting her work done, but the teacher figures she is so smart she gets it done quickly anyway (since writing is the hardest thing for her, the idea that she gets it done quickly is absurdly false)  Her teacher is trying to change things, but still falls prey to the conversational aspect and admits it is a problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we are out and about, or leaving a friend's house, I don't want to make a huge issue of it &quot;publicly&quot; or call a spade a spade and indicate she isn't really interested in what a business accountant does at work all day - she is just avoiding leaving (that would just make the other adult know they've been duped by a seven year old). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should add that I am suspicious she has an attention deficit problem (her Dad does and having taught adolescent kids with severe ADD, I am quite familiar with a lot of the symptoms that are NOT hyperactivity).  The ADD plays a part in this, because I think in some circumstances, she starts out stalling and then manages to forget entirely what it is she is actually supposed to be doing.  It also means reminders before-hand about what needs to happen from one location/event to the next are easily forgotten in the moment when distractions and desirables are at play.  At home, we have visual and audio cues, a minimal distraction environment. . . The problem increases in severity in other environments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-10-31T21:37:35.643" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T21:37:35.643" Title="Ideas for Dealing with a Master Staller" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9253" CreationDate="2013-10-31T05:00:05.413" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I liked to do quite a few different things while I was nursing the baby:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Listen to podcasts, meditate, draw, browse the internet or answer email, nap, call a friend, pump milk from the other side to store for later, fix a sandwich and eat it, write short notes in my journal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting comfortable nursing the baby in a sling made a world of difference for me. Once I had it down, I could use my hands to do other things while she fed and we were able to be out and about with no problems. I even took her to work with me in the sling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T05:00:05.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9272" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9281" CreationDate="2013-10-31T05:56:02.783" Score="2" ViewCount="730" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently wrote this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Halloween: the one day where we encourage children to accept candy from strangers, go to strangers' homes, and vandalize property and terrorize people if they don't get their own way.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I spend a frantic time drumming into my 13 year old son's head every Halloween, not to participate in &lt;em&gt;egging&lt;/em&gt; (throwing eggs at) houses. And how it's criminal to deface property and harass people, even if he's caught in a group, he can get into trouble, without having done anything himself; as the peer pressure can be great at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How on earth can I teach my children anything positive from the whole Halloween culture?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It feels like an anti-parenting, anti-social activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;edit&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought I should add this about the culture of Halloween here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's only newish (in Australia) and they just knock on the door and expect a hand out. I'm noticing the boys are murmuring more and more about egging houses. Not good. And now that my son is  older, they are unaccompanied, it's  the only time I let him out on a school night with a group of teenage boys.. not happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2018-08-20T14:10:15.843" LastActivityDate="2023-10-20T17:43:10.493" Title="How can allowing children to participate on Halloween be helpful in reinforcing good habits?" Tags="|discipline|teen|pre-teen|consistency|peer-pressure|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9273" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9275" CreationDate="2013-10-31T08:40:10.320" Score="15" ViewCount="5643" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three children, my younger two are a 13 year old boy and a 12 year old girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are both maturing and going through puberty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gone are the days of my little son doing little naked dances, like a cherub.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son will frequently walk through the house in underpants, but when my daughter does the same in a crop top and underpants, my son reacts and tell her to put clothes on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to encourage a sexist environment, nor do I want my children to feel that the human body is something to be ashamed of, yet I want them to have good boundaries when it comes to behavior, and in this instance appropriate &lt;em&gt;sexual&lt;/em&gt; boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There would be varying views about this, I am sure, but am interested in hearing some of them. Any suggestions on how I should manage this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2018-06-11T00:28:34.507" LastActivityDate="2022-06-28T16:35:05.803" Title="What are appropriate boundaries between siblings?" Tags="|teen|social-development|pre-teen|sex|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9272" CreationDate="2013-10-31T08:54:37.927" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK we let kids of all ages go trick or treating - when young a parent will accompany them but only to the end of driveways etc, and as they get older they will head out in groups with their peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically they need to sing, tell a joke, or otherwise entertain the householder in order to get a treat of some kind, but there is certainly no culture of vandalism or defacement here if they don't get what they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see the activity as a very useful part of growing up for the following reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a little bit of being scared is good for children. They like the fright, knowing they can run away&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;getting over stage fright and being able to speak to (or sing to) complete strangers (or at least neighbours) is useful confidence training&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it is fun and exciting, and more importantly, away from parents - even if only a few metres away&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a very social activity, and to my mind, a useful parenting experience. Especially when my kids were younger, they would go out quite early and then be back in the house to greet older kids later on - and would enjoy being scared by various monsters coming to the door. Now they are older, they like to plan their costumes in order to scare others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I do think the tired old adage, &quot;Don't talk to strangers,&quot; is very misguided. It teaches children the wrong concept of threats)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-10-31T09:09:48.010" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T09:09:48.010" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9273" CreationDate="2013-10-31T12:38:28.930" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is funny that you've posted this because my seven year old daughter freaks when her dad takes of his shirt or she sees men shirtless even though we have always had a very open policy about nudity in our house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know that this answer will work for you and we are only just beginning to think about these types of questions at our house, but we've just had a conversation with her about the society's expectations of men and women and nudity in public.  We taught her the word &quot;Taboo&quot; and simply said that for some reason in our society it is taboo for girls and women to be shirtless - in public but not for men.  Since she knows about sex and knows the differences in bodies, she understands there is a difference but still said, &quot;Well that is silly!  Men should wear shirts too!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I guess I would approach your situation with a similar reaction, have a discussion about sexual perceptions on things common in the culture around you, but that you also want them to know and understand their bodies are natural, beautiful things there is no need to feel shame in.  Talk to your daughter and Son about respect for each-other.  Your son about the double standard in his remarks that you are pointing ouut in your question, and your daughter about respecting the comfort level of others while also staying true to herself.  Then, brainstorm with each-other in a family meeting what THEY think the rules in your house should be to address the situation.  It sounds like they are old enough to offer ideas and input too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, let us know how it works out for you :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T12:38:28.930" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9276" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-10-31T12:52:59.043" Score="4" ViewCount="632" Body="&lt;p&gt;This came up because of a question about Halloween this morning and as the daughter of a US Sheriff's Deputy, the mother of a &lt;strong&gt;very friendly&lt;/strong&gt; child, a teacher of other people's children and as a citizen in this world we live in I recognize the supreme importance of this issue for parents.  The question needs to be on this site!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does one teach their children how to be &quot;safe&quot; out in the world in regard to interacting with strangers, without making them fearful of everyone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T21:58:40.097" Title="How does one teach kids about how to handle &quot;Stranger Danger?&quot;" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2013-11-01T11:20:18.190" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9270" CreationDate="2013-10-31T13:16:43.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think she is old enough for a little transparency on your part. With a toddler, I would deal with stalling over shoes and the like by saying &quot;if we get out the door quickly enough, there is time to stop at the park. If you use all that time up getting ready, there isn't.&quot; It was immediate and on-the-spot and usually worked. But your child can tell the time and can make plans a few hours in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would do something like this. Imagine TKD ends at 7 and it's a ten minute drive home. Before leaving, you tell her &quot;If we can get home from TKD by 7:15, you can [something relatively minor, not a huge treat]. If not, you'll have to get straight to that homework the minute we get in the door, and you won't be able to [something pleasant] until the homework is done.&quot; The treats might be watching tv or equivalent screen time, or playing a game, or walking the dog, or whatnot. Much like the toddler and the park, where I had to just accept that we weren't going to arrive at our destination as quickly as before children, and the toddler could choose whether my extra ten minutes was playing &quot;take the shoes off while getting my coat zipped up&quot; or going to the park. If your child knows homework will not start until 7:45, they can have that half hour at home doing [pleasant thing] or at the door of TKD pretending to care about accounting. I think it will be a pretty easy choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T13:16:43.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9272" CreationDate="2013-10-31T13:27:29.327" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess the safety issues that concern me are more age related.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As halloween is over for us this year, I'd thought I'd post an answer after our experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My daughter came home and exclaimed she wants to egg houses! She is still impressionable and I need to teach her a carry through of the consequences of this type of behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My son came home late (10pm) and says, &quot;we don't really go trick or treating, it's just an excuse to hang out with friends.&quot; He would rather not go than have a suitable adult accompany him. It concerns me, not from my son instigating, but being caught up in a group or rowdy young teenage boys, throwing caution to the wind and creating trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;@Bigmomma gave me a good link and in this they advise that Halloween should be for children under 12 and supervised by an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is a key point. This was the first Halloween one of my children has gone out unsupervised and it was this that worried me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given they will be 13 and 14 next Halloween; sorry that's the last Halloween they go on until they take their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T13:27:29.327" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9276" CreationDate="2013-10-31T14:11:44.507" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a very good question and I don't believe there can be one definitive answer. As it depends on the age of the child and the society that child lives in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that is true and applicable across all things with children is the following equation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To excessively wrap in cotton wool to protect children is damaging to a child's growth towards a well adjusted, independent adulthood.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To not provide enough protection for our children, can require far more cotton wool to dress the emotional (or physical) wounds that they may incur from lack of caution.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We need to weigh up the benefits against potential costs for both points. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When 1 = 2, we have a healthy balance&lt;/strong&gt;, if that makes sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yXfYe.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Too much freedom, too much caution, balance is the key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the purposes of this answer, I will discuss our current situation with my 12 and 13 year old children &lt;em&gt;(my 19 year old, I am confident can handle his interactions with strangers :-) )&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When there is a predator in the neighborhood.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There has been a man trying to abduct children into his car for the past two years in our area. All the schools put out alerts, it gets on the tv from time to time . As a consequence of this we are so extreme about telling the kids to run from strangers and go to a busy shop or the like. Prior to this, I was not so neurotic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This man has tried to abduct three children last year and this year and has not been caught. We have no way of knowing if he is still on the prowl in this area. Every time he goes off the radar for a while, there will be another incident. So it's not really a case of knowing if we're safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has tried to abduct two girls and one boy of varying ages (9 - 12) from neighboring suburbs. The only thing each child had in common was, they were walking alone along the street and none of the streets were deserted I may add. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in a, supposedly, nice neighborhood. The thing about nice neighborhoods is there can be a veneer of safety and goodness that is not realistic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 12 year old daughter often walks home from school, last year she and her  13 year old brother would walk together; but he has since started high school, she will join him on that walk in the new year. She hasn't walked home alone for some time, but is under strict instructions, as they both were last year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The rules.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To never split up, even if they fight, they wait for each other.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Never approach a car when an adult is sitting there and wants to speak to you, no matter how nice they may appear.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If a car pulls over and the person or people want to speak to you, go straight to a busy shop. Explain to the manager of the shop what has happened and ask  to call me, if they don't have a phone. In this case they walk along a busy route and past many shops and we have discussed where to go and what to do. The good thing about our neighborhood, is most of the shopkeepers would do this and at this time of the day there is a lot of people about including people my children would know.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they see people they know from school, approach them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are never to accept lifts from anyone (except a few set of well designated people we have discussed and identified) without my prior permission. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Trusting in increments.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have explained to them clearly, that unfortunately we cannot just trust anyone we don't know. That most people are indeed ok, but it's not something that we can discern until we get to know them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are old enough and been having safety education at school to have a concept of what a pedophile or similar predator is. My son's friend had taken my son to a neighboring house of an older man living alone, who fixes the local children's bicycles without charge. I explained to my son, the problem is, the type of person who preys on children, will frequently ingratiate themselves to children and put themselves in positions to have contact with and gain the trust of children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explained, his friend may trust him, but I have never met this man (neither have his friend's parents who I do trust). I also pointed out that his friend was getting into a bit of trouble lately and his parents weren't too happy about this (a fact his parents would freely discuss in front of my son - I don't believe in sharing confidences of other parent's with my children).  Please note I do not assume this man is dodgy, I am cautioning my son, not to enter the houses of strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given my children's father died when they were babies (1 and 3), they have had no real male figure in their lives for the vast majority of their lives. With all the research about the types of children who are vulnerable to predators, children craving for a father figure can be at risk. So I have had to be extra cautious, as my oldest son (the 19 yo), in particular would form intense attachments to men. I had to be watchful and mindful, without spoiling the relationships or his trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The balance between caution and closeting.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So this is a difficult balance. For me I err on the side of being overly cautious, as the dreadful effects of child molestation, I consider, are far worse than being cautious of strangers. I have instilled in my children it is ok to trust people, but it takes time to get to know someone. Moving into a new neighborhood and school a few years back was a great opportunity to show them how to build up trust and new friendships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son would always ask &quot;do you like ...&quot;. I would always start by saying they &quot;seem&quot; and give my opinion (I may not have had one) as I saw it then, with the conditional statement, it is hard to make a judgement without knowing more. (In this case I refer to judgement, as a commonsense choice). Gradually, as we have gotten to know people, some we remain distant from and others are in our inner circle of trust and there is a continuum, not just based on trust, but compatibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think teaching children to discern things in life as it is not always what it seems, without over analysing it or becoming unduly suspicious, it a good tool to have to cope with life,to  have healthy boundaries  form healthy relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T14:11:44.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9280" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9287" CreationDate="2013-10-31T15:00:36.657" Score="3" ViewCount="232" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby boy is 11 months old and had been breast-feeding through the night, as well as nursing to sleep in the evening. He essentially sleeps in the same bed (we took out one side of the cot bed and put it next to our bed, mattresses at the same height). Feeding intervals once widened up to 3~4 hours in the night but recently it became much more frequent, so a few days ago we decided to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One problem is that we stopped rather abruptly - he nursed to sleep in the evening but he did not get the night-time breastfeed when he woke up for the first time. He cried A LOT for about two hours. In the end, I (daddy) held him in a baby carrier and took him out of the bedroom, and he finally fell asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Four nights on, he now sleeps without wanting a feeding despite sleeping next to his mum. He whimpers from time to time, but we can usually put him back to sleep by stroking his back. I see this part as an improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is during the day time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I thought one important point was to disassociate sleep from feeding. But, after the night-time weaning, he falls asleep whenever he breastfeeds during the day. I don't know what to do with this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He sometimes acts very hysterically. He was getting clingy to mum, but it is much stronger now and he sometimes cries like never before (almost hurting his throat) when no one is quick to respond.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He seems to have less appetite. He is on solid food (breakfast is fruit/yogurt with some snack, lunch and dinner is homemade rice porridge with meat and veggies, fruits as dessert). He roughly eats 1/2 ~ 2/3 compared to before. I understand that, at 11 months, he may start needing less food, but not quite sure whether this is related to the night-time weaning.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to help him cope? Mum is very stressed, because he never reacted so extremely. She is worried whether the first &quot;shock treatment&quot; was very wrong and feels guilty. I think it may calm down after some time, but any recommendation or advice will be really appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4993" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T17:58:06.730" Title="Problems with napping and temper after night time weaning at 11 months" Tags="|behavior|eating|night-time|weaning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9272" CreationDate="2013-10-31T15:58:01.007" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids aren't old enough for this situation yet, but I like how my parents handled it.  Part of the problem is the child needs the skills to stand up to an authority figure, in this case a peer with a forceful personality.  You also have the dilemma that you want them to make good choices, but you also want them to feel free to tell you about difficult choices they faced, and the mistakes they made.  In other words, if you clamp down too hard, they end up going behind your back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a teen, I found I didn't enjoy some situations other teens put me in.  What my parents recognized, to their credit, is that what I needed most was an &lt;em&gt;escape plan&lt;/em&gt; for when I found myself in a situation that was getting out of hand.  Some parts of that escape plan were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Giving me express permission to let them be the bad guy.  &quot;I really need to leave, because my Mom will kill me if she finds out.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offering rides with no questions asked.  They promised I wouldn't get in trouble if I called them for a ride home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asking the big 3 questions, and making me call if any of them changed.  Where was I going, who was I going with, and when would I be back.  My friends got used to me calling when plans changed, so if the plan changed to something I wasn't comfortable with, it was easy to get out of.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Opening their home for alternate activities.  We lived in a tiny two-bedroom trailer, but we had some fun parties there, because my parents made it available to me.  If friends planned a night of egging, I could invite them to my house instead.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My siblings complained that I seemed to get away with a lot, but it was because I took advantage of the escape plans offered to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T15:58:01.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9265" CreationDate="2013-10-31T16:24:06.527" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer question number 4. &quot;He sleeps much more better on my chest&quot; is natural, and it's good to him. Please refer &quot;Kangaroo care (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kangaroo_care&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kangaroo_care&lt;/a&gt;)&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4994" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T16:24:06.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9283" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-10-31T16:43:23.157" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Peer pressure can be one of the biggest driving forces in a child's life; wanting to fit in, belong and gain acceptance can drive children to do all sorts of things, that, may, normally be out of character.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problem solving dilemmas involving peer pressure, creating strategies and sharing experience and expertise about this, potentially, difficult subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-31T20:05:14.310" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T20:05:14.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9284" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-10-31T16:43:23.157" Score="0" Body="Issues surrounding the effects of peer pressure on children, how to provide children with tools to cope with it and strategies to solve problems relating to this." OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-31T20:05:57.807" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T20:05:57.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9285" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-10-31T16:47:16.410" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children thrive on consistency. If they know where the boundaries are, they, tend, to feel safe. They will always rally against boundaries, but where there is inconsistency it can lead to emotional and behavior difficulties for children, as they can be unsure of what is expected of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes circumstances can create flux in consistency in parenting. Meeting the challenges that prevent consistency, problem solving and creating strategies to help provide a consistent environment for a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-31T20:05:03.640" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T20:05:03.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9286" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-10-31T16:47:16.410" Score="0" Body="Being consistent as a parent or caregiver, creating and maintaining consistency in a child's life." OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-10-31T20:04:39.747" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T20:04:39.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9280" CreationDate="2013-10-31T17:58:06.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The clinginess and lower appetite has absolutely nothing to do with night weaning, most likely. It is 100% normal at this age. Separation and stranger anxiety are very common in 11 month olds. This behavior may last, with some ebb and flow, until 18 months or even later. Also clinginess is associated with developmental leaps, and there is one around 11 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the appetite, there is a natural decrease in appetite around a year. During developmental leaps children often have a decrease in appetite as they process all their learning. Do not stress about the ebbs and flows in a child's appetite unless your pediatrician is concerned and you need to make changes. Children sense your stress about their eating and it can effect how they eat. Instead have a relaxed, happy attitude towards mealtime and let your child eat what he will eat. You chose what to offer him and when to offer it; he chooses whether or not he will eat and how much. If he doesn't eat or eats very little, there's always the next nursing session or mealtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parts of the brain which control nap sleep are different from the parts of the brain that control night sleep. That means you not only have to teach him to fall asleep without nursing at night, but you have to do it for naps to at some point, whenever you and your wife decide it is right. Nap training is harder than night training, but since your son already knows a different way of falling asleep that should help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T17:58:06.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9276" CreationDate="2013-10-31T18:08:28.567" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is a probably slightly different perspective: In a problematic situation, a &quot;stranger&quot; can be a kids best friend. Let's say they are lost or approached and/or followed by creepy person. In this there best shot is to approach the nearest &quot;stranger&quot;, preferably a uniformed one and engage them: &quot;Please ma'm, can you help me, I'm lost.&quot;. There is a big difference between a stranger that approaches them and a stranger that they choose and approach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a case of a boy that almost died: he got lost in the woods and he actually hid from the search parties since they were &quot;strangers&quot; and he had learned that you must stay away from strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T18:08:28.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9276" CreationDate="2013-10-31T20:03:38.040" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The unfortunate truth is most of the worst things that happen to children are perpetrated by people they know.  We try to teach our kids to be wary of &lt;em&gt;behaviors&lt;/em&gt; rather than people.  For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asking to keep something a secret from your parents.  (We always use the word &quot;surprise&quot; for the good kind of secrets, because surprises are always only temporary secrets.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asking you to leave with them, when a parent didn't tell you to expect it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asking to touch or see your private areas.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asking you to do something your parents told you not to do or that you otherwise know is wrong.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from those areas, most interactions with strangers in our family focus on general courtesy.  Not interrupting, not regaling them with your life story, not demanding treats or attention, that sort of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T20:03:38.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9276" CreationDate="2013-10-31T21:32:32.823" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=421008785846083942#editor/target=post;postID=3348776250879081714;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=29;src=postname&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;I wrote an article on this topic&lt;/a&gt; once upon a time, and although the answers given here are already, are wonderful answers, I thought I'd place the highlights of my research and article here as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I discovered the plan that made the most sense to me (and my Dad that has been in law enforcement) was to teach kids about &quot;Tricky People&quot; and how to identify their tricks.  As others have already pointed out, asking for help from a stranger can mean life or death, lost or found, help or fear in other situations so it is important kids know what kind of strangers are likely to be helpful people or tricky people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We read Roald Dahl's &quot;Witches&quot; recently and used it as a reason to review stranger safety rules because it ties in so nicely with the idea that you can't tell the good from the bad just by looking.  Tricky people will seem very nice on the surface so you never want them to have a chance to remove their wigs and gloves in front of you - because that is when horrible things happen.  You'll understand after you've read it if that last sentence didn't make any sense to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/9289/2876&quot;&gt;Karl Bielefeldt&lt;/a&gt; already pointed out, there is a big difference between a stranger who approaches a child and one that the child approaches just for starters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When kids need help, teach them it is good to go to the uniformed officer or safety guy first, or the person who obviously works at the location you are in (where applicable) to ask for help, but that moms with kids are also usually a pretty safe bet for help as well.  Of course, the buddy system is also a wonderful plan to have in place.  Kids simply shouldn't be alone whenever it is possible for them not to be - even teens can go in groups to the theater, bowling alley, school dance, party. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Red Flags to Teach Your Kids&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The adult asks for help and wants you (the child) to go somewhere&#xA;without asking first.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The adult wants you (the child) to do anything without taking the&#xA;time to talking to mom or dad about it first.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The adult tries to get you into a car, behind a tree or in another&#xA;room or building without giving you (the child) a chance to talk&#xA;to mom or dad first.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The adult tries to get you (the child) to keep a secret - any adult&#xA;that is trying to convince you to do, say or make anything    without&#xA;telling mom or dad about it is probably not planning    something&#xA;nice (If it is a present for mom, you should be able to    tell dad. &#xA;If it is a present for Dad you should be able to tell Mom.    If&#xA;there is only one parent, you can choose another trusted adult&lt;br&gt;&#xA;such as Grandma to be adult number two).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If an adult makes you (the child) do anything that makes you feel&#xA;uncomfortable or feels wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things your child should learn NEVER to do:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Go anywhere with ANY adult when Mom and Dad don't know about it (even&#xA;behind another car in the parking lot or to the bathroom at the&#xA;park).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Offer their identity up to anyone (in person or online) no full or even &quot;real&quot; names, addresses (including personal email as it often contains clues to the name), phone numbers or any other such information.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take candy, treats or gifts from ANY adult without Mom and Dad knowing&#xA;about it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Help any adult find anything without Mom and/or Dad present during&#xA;the helping (this would usually involve going somewhere with the&#xA;adult, but it is generally a good idea to specify it with the kids&#xA;anyway).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What a Child Should Learn TO DO:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is ever approached by a stranger, he or she should know to &lt;strong&gt;GET REALLY LOUD&lt;/strong&gt; and scream whatever needs to be said (except the word help - people tend not to engage with the word help!?!)  Something like, &quot;YOU ARE NOT MY MOM and I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU!!!&quot; will get the attention of anyone around and the perpetrator is likely to back off and go away quickly if harm was actually intended.  Fight!  If a child is in a situation where he or she is pulled away or into a car etc.  Whatever it is that will happen at the planned destination is not good so the child should bite, hit, scream, kick and be as difficult as he/she is able while also being incredibly LOUD!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child should also know that if someone they KNOW is doing something that is a red flag item - like asking the child to keep secrets or asking them to do something that makes the child feel uncomfortable, that child should TELL and tell right away - whatever it is might make mom (or dad) feel sad, but she would be even SADDER if she found out and knew her child hadn't trusted her with the truth (even if it is tough truth)  Moms and Dads are around because they love us - no matter what.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.missingkids.com/home&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children&lt;/a&gt; has tons of information about how to keep your kids safe as well as how to help keep all of our kids safer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a link to a website where you can get information about the &lt;a href=&quot;http://safelyeverafter.com/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Safely Ever After program&lt;/a&gt;.  The site has safety checklists, red flags, and links to other great resources about how to keep your kids safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also really liked &lt;a href=&quot;http://parentables.howstuffworks.com/family-matters/stranger-danger-vs-tricky-people.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; about combining the two ideas of &quot;Tricky People&quot; and &quot;Stranger Danger&quot; while educating your child about stranger safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-10-31T21:58:40.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9253" CreationDate="2013-11-01T03:49:06.990" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Really there are an amazing number of things you can do while nursing if you use a sling and get used to it - even washing dishes, vacuuming, etc.  I wouldn't suggest anything requiring vigorous and quick movements of course.  I was skeptical of that idea, but the ladies at La Leche League have some things figured out (the group I met with was extremely liberal and I felt a little like I was surrounded by hippy granola women, but I learned a lot from them and look back on the few meetings I attended fondly).  Most of the time, I graded papers, checked email, read in general. . . There was one time while I had my students out on a field experience, where I nursed and collected plant samples (with the students just around the corner with a camp counselor)  I needed the samples for the next activity and I was nearly out of time, but little one had needs too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also nice to read books TO your child.  Consider the opportunity as a chance to check on their fingernails (which grow shockingly quickly) and sort of talk to and interact with the baby some too.  I used to force myself to slow down and use the last nursing before I left for work and right after I got home to simply &quot;baby gaze.&quot;  It seems like it will be tedious, but it is actually really helpful with getting &quot;tuned in&quot; and as the baby develops more and becomes more interactive with you, you'll be glad you started the habit now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-01T03:49:06.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9292" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-01T07:12:48.813" Score="28" ViewCount="1321" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son produces &lt;strong&gt;tons of painted pictures and handicrafted things&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We like them very much, but we are not sure what to do with them, as they need a lot of space, storage and time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not easy for us or for him to decide to throw some/most of them away, as he often has put a lot of thought and effort in them, but we just can not keep all of them. Sure we can give away some of them to grandparents etc., but we also do not want to clutter &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; homes...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you handle that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:29:44.317" LastActivityDate="2017-05-16T10:05:16.777" Title="What to do with many painted pictures/ handicraft work" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9292" CreationDate="2013-11-01T08:21:12.643" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can take picture of his art and make a beautiful creative photo album with all of his painted pictures and handcrafted things, that is a nice way to keep a memento of his early art days :) but if the things that he do are very good, consider about exhibited them in the gallery or you could make an a auction for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you will make a good choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck :) and tell us what you did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4991" LastActivityDate="2013-11-01T08:21:12.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9292" CreationDate="2013-11-01T08:27:16.103" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;We take pictures or scan images to save digitally. We also have a set amount of space for saving artwork and crafts, a flat box about the size of a pizza box and a small shelf in her room. When those spaces get full, we weed some things out. I've found with my child that after she has had a little distance from her creations she is able to let go more easily; it's also easier to let go of a few items at a time instead of a big purge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We think up ways together to reuse artwork that we can't save. We have used drawings and paintings as gift wrap or to make birthday or holiday cards. Sometimes we take apart a craft project to reuse materials for other projects. She cuts up old paintings to make new collages, some little clay figures went to live under different plants in the garden. Now that she is older, she makes a memory book at least once per year and she will put in a photo or a small piece of a larger painting along with her other mementos. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-11-01T08:27:16.103" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9292" CreationDate="2013-11-01T08:49:44.290" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have put a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60075295/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;curtain wire&lt;/a&gt; from IKEA on the wall and use it to have a constantly changing exhibition of the latest works. The pictures that we take down are labeled with name and date/age and some of them go into our filing cabinet under &quot;Drawings by [name]&quot;. Some of them we will throw away. Typically in any given period there are lots of very similar drawings, so we keep some highlights from each period and loose the rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our plan is to make a scrapbook of her life for her wedding which will also feature some drawings from her childhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So basically, we have the exhibition to show her that we appreciate her work, but we - not her - make the decision about what to keep. A few weeks later she doesn't care anymore anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4995" LastEditorUserId="4995" LastEditDate="2014-03-11T13:35:15.383" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T13:35:15.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9296" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9302" CreationDate="2013-11-02T00:28:39.217" Score="4" ViewCount="177" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many questions on this site reference baby slings, but none of them really explain what they are or what the benefits of using one are (as say, compared with other carriers like the Baby Bjorn).  When we were shopping for baby stuff, baby sling was on the list (along with a lot of completely unnecessary stuff) and in all truth, I fore-went the baby sling, thinking it just another contraption for some company to make money on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would never have experienced the joys of using one, if it had not been for the fact that my grandfather's new wife bought me one.  I know I came to consider it an essential blessing, but never really studied its actual benefits/pitfalls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister, and two of my sisters-in-law fore-went using one, despite my experience with it and all three of them looked at me like I had just walked off an alien space ship when they first saw baby and I wearing it, so I thought it might be helpful to ask:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is a baby sling and why should I use one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-11T14:01:37.250" LastActivityDate="2019-01-11T14:01:37.250" Title="What is a baby sling and what advantage does it have?" Tags="|toddler|infant|transport|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9297" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9316" CreationDate="2013-11-02T00:51:11.010" Score="4" ViewCount="100" Body="&lt;p&gt;I care for a three-year-old child that is generally very well mannered and a joy to care for.  He takes after his dad in his morning attitude though (both of them need a little time to &quot;wake-up&quot; even after they are awake.  Of course, his Dad still has good manners, but is self- admitting that his son takes after him in this realm). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm okay with giving the three-year-old a little time (after-all, he is three) before he has to greet me politely - I know he will once that little brain switches on and then it is go go go with all kinds of love and good manners until about half an hour before nap-time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the boy's parents are (rightfully and I am thankful for this) very concerned that he exhibit good manners toward me as well as themselves even right at the time of waking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should he get 20-30 minutes grace period while transitioning from sleep to wake-fullness AND transitioning from mom and dad to me all at the same time?  All he does for this first thirty minutes after waking up is watch a cartoon and hug mommy and daddy good-bye (and on some mornings - though not consistently, argue with mom and dad about whether he should say good morning to any of us yet).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is important to understand - I get this kid, I set my alarm half an hour earlier than everyone else in the house, so I can have a little time to wake without having to talk to anyone as an adult (of course if someone is up, I can say good morning and still function politely, but I am also not a three-year-old boy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once it is time to have breakfast and get dressed, then of course it is down to business and I fully expect manners - I guess I see this cartoon 30 minutes as a sort of extension of his sleep and don't mind if he pretends I'm not there until the TV goes off and he is saying good-bye to mom and dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have not contradicted the parents, but I also am choosing not to join in at this point either.  I feel like it is a losing battle, and it starts the morning with a bunch of stress for everyone.  I wind up awkwardly being there waiting for the &quot;good morning&quot;  he just isn't ready to give.  Thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-03T21:18:10.630" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T21:48:19.850" Title="How much should a caretaker push for mannered greetings and farewells from a pre-schooler?" Tags="|manners|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9067" CreationDate="2013-11-02T01:22:23.687" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a proponent of Home-education and a former classroom educator and advisor, I'll chime in on advising that switching now is probably not the time (sorry). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I would focus on getting your GPA up and figuring out how to explain the earlier low GPA in an &quot;exceptions&quot; essay. Even if you started homeschooling now and got a 4.0 (With clear proof a 4.0 was appropriate), it would simply be averaged with earlier work anyway.  You need four years worth of work in your transcript - even if part of it is homeschooling work, you still need the work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As already pointed out, it really depends on the specific college and as I understand it, College admissions offices are overcoming former prejudices against home-schooled kids and even seeking them out in some cases.  However, at this late point in the game, leaving the school setting you are in and have been in for 11 years, looks more like escapism than an improvement in your situation on paper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on over-coming the challenges you have faced in the past so that you can speak about how you over-came them and are a better student now in interviews and in a short-essay response to, &quot;Is there anything else we should know about you when considering your application.&quot; Umm and get those applications started!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consider these alternative &quot;compromises&quot; with your current school:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go meet with your school district's guidance counselor/counselors.  Get the info you need for your goals and location regarding the admissions process as well as brainstorm ways to meet your needs within your district or school's systems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will your school work with you to grant an &quot;independent study&quot; so you&#xA;can work your way through &lt;em&gt;The Handbook of Mathematical Logic&lt;/em&gt; under&#xA;the supervision of a cool teacher there at the school.  Then you can&#xA;skip out on Trig or beginning Calc (typical Senior year fodder for&#xA;the college-bound) and not waste your time with it.  You may be able&#xA;to find a teacher who is willing to exchange being your mentor for a&#xA;little help grading changing bulletin boards, making copies or other&#xA;work around her/his classroom?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are in Washington State look into the Running Start Program -&#xA;which allows highschool juniors and seniors to take college level&#xA;courses (at community colleges) on the state's dime and get both&#xA;high-school and college credit at the same time (GPA applies last I&#xA;knew).  Even once you are in college there will be gen-ed&#xA;requirements you may consider to be a waste of your time.  This helps&#xA;get some of that out of the way too.  I'm sure at least SOME other&#xA;states must have similar programs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get in touch with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aegus1.org/about.htmlhttp://www.aegus1.org/about.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;AEGUS&lt;/a&gt; (you'll have to join) and see if they&#xA;have any further ideas for you and if they have representatives that&#xA;can help to advocate for you to get a superior education right where&#xA;you already are.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-02T01:50:08.500" LastActivityDate="2013-11-02T01:50:08.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9243" CreationDate="2013-11-02T06:52:55.797" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had this problem mostly with meats but also for other foods as well.  We found the following works well (suggested by occupational therapist):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First stage:  Kiss the new food.  That's all... no pressure to even put in mouth.  Do it for a few meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second stage:  &quot;Rocket it&quot; - put in mouth and immediately spit out into napkin or trashcan.  Make it fun- doesn't have to be polite.  Again repeat for a few meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third stage:  Hold in mouth 10s before spitting out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth stage: Actually eat a bite - a very small bite, again for several meals, and then gradually increase up to a &quot;normal&quot; portion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes a while but we found it does work.  Eventually once they get the process it takes fewer repetitions at each step, or you can start to leave out the earlier steps altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1429" LastActivityDate="2013-11-02T06:52:55.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9243" CreationDate="2013-11-02T13:28:07.473" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Traditionally you avoid &quot;rewarding&quot; children for trying new foods. Thus, you don't say &quot;have three spoons of broccoli and then you can have pudding&quot; because that creates bad incentives and teaches the child that the food is yucky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there's an interesting new approach where you ask the child to try a tiny bit, and reward them with a sticker.  Soon, children are eating much more than the tiny bit you asked them to, and they enjoy the new food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an article from the UK Telegraph - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/10399200/Stick-it-to-them-the-way-to-deal-with-fussy-eaters.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Stick it to them - the way to deal with fussy eaters&quot;&gt;Stick it to them, the way to deal with fussy eaters&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Cooke and her fellow psychologists have developed a carefully nuanced approach to the problem and carried out a series of studies, in primary schools and families. Every day for two weeks children were asked to take “tiny tastes” of a raw vegetable they did not care for: carrot, celery, tomato, cucumber or pepper. When rewarded with a sticker for each taste, they ate more of the veg than requested, and often ended up with a permanent taste for it. In the past, when Cooke had done similar studies, there would be a hard core of 20 per cent who point blank refused to try the food. But, once stickers were introduced, “we had 100 per cent compliance”.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(The article contains a link to where you can buy the advice.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, worries about gagging are a cause (in older children and youth!) of some eating disorders.  Luckily, this form is easy to treat with cognitive behaviour therapy, especially if caught early. (But obviously, I am not a doctor, and this is not medical advice.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2013-11-02T13:28:07.473" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9301" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9311" CreationDate="2013-11-02T13:32:03.307" Score="10" ViewCount="194" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is 3.  Sometimes he has nightmares.  What's a good technique to help him deal with these, both at the time when he wakes, and long term to help him overcome them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(He's not having night terrors!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-04T12:01:18.830" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T12:01:18.830" Title="How do you help a child with nightmares?" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|night-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9296" CreationDate="2013-11-02T18:58:17.567" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A sling is a traditional baby carrier made from a large piece of cloth and tied in a manner that secures a baby / small child to an adult.  Carriers like the baby bjorn etc are modern or more engineered versions of a sling.  They do the same job and may have some conveniences like plastic clips or may just use branding and advertising to make them seem better.  The sling has been around for centuries and slings still feature heavily as convenient ways to carry young children around in poorer regions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To use one or not is a matter of personal taste.  Some of the things I like about using a sling are:-  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Easily shoved in a bag when you don't need it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No special laundry care - just shove it in with everything else.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For very young ones it's a great way to&#xA;maintain their body temperature and they soothe more easily as they can&#xA;hear your heartbeat and breathing etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tying it different ways allows greater flexibility where an 'engineered' carrier is usually more limited.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the 1st world you do tend to get people who look at you like you've come from mars (although as a dad out with the kids I'm used to that.)  They are perceived as being a bit &quot;hippy&quot; which in some respects they are.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They can be a bit of a fiddle to learn to tie initially (for nearly a whole 5 minutes for someone who has managed to learn to tie their shoes) and you do need a bit more space to put them on and take them off, and if you're putting them on/taking them off in the wet then you can sometimes end up getting the ends wet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Detractors claim they're dangerous, but usually they have not used or tried one and don't understand how a child is secured.  So long as they're used properly they're no more or less dangerous than any other baby carrier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Caveat:-&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;there are a category of slings called 'bag slings' and the above may not apply to them, I don't know much about them and have not included them in this answer.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2013-11-02T18:58:17.567" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9304" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-02T19:43:42.923" Score="4" ViewCount="493" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am teaching mathematics for students from elementary school to senior high school. I advise the students to learn mathematics (as the language of nature) as well as English (as the international language), sciences and computer programming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The students often think they won't need the mathematics.  I tell them that mathematics will train their ways to think, to struggle, to solve the problems which are directly related to mathematics or not. IMHO, learning mathematics builds our intelligence and only consuming healthy food will not make us intelligent!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another advantage of having a good skill in math is to have a broader chance to take field of study and get a job. But how do I motivate the kids to learn mathematics in terms that will excite &lt;strong&gt;them?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4046" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T11:36:46.700" LastActivityDate="2018-12-29T18:19:06.217" Title="How do I help children who think they don't need to know math, still learn math and have fun doing it?" Tags="|learning|math|cognitive-development|motivation|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8988" CreationDate="2013-11-02T20:02:43.683" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it worth reversing the question back onto yourself... asking yourself &quot;&lt;em&gt;Why am I so lazy at teaching?&lt;/em&gt;&quot;  That's not to say you are lazy, but being good at a subject and being good at teaching it aren't even the same ballpark.  So what are your roadblocks to getting through to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At ages 12-15 they're starting to enter the adult world and in a private tuition setting you should have good opportunity to reason with them to appreciate why each one isn't motivated and what their challenges are.  Is there some tension there that they need to break.  Is the technique you're using appropriate for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're just guessing then divert the session to explore the probability of how likely they are to be correct just by guessing.  Explore with them how close their guesses are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you take a break from maths as a rote subject to concentrate on getting around the roadblocks.  For example would a project to explore how their role models use maths be valuable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2013-11-02T20:02:43.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9223" CreationDate="2013-11-02T21:03:18.283" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;WARNING!  This response may contain discussion of breastmilk that some may find 'icky'.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Yet most people are usually ok with drinking milk intended for baby cows...&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Getting milk&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably the most pressing thing is the supply issue - how do you obtain breastmilk for a premature baby.  The odds are good that you aren't producing any useful milk yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have good friends then one who breastfeeds may be able to express (pump) some to share with you.  Asking for it or discussing it may be more than a little awkward, especially when quite a few people find feeding a human child milk from a human odd to begin with.  There are 'milk banks' where some nursing mothers donate milk for babies just like yours.  If all else fails you can sometimes buy it frozen online (despite it being illegal in many places.)  That will get your baby onto breastmilk initially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Supplying your own milk&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Following on from that is securing your own milk supply.  There are ways to stimulate your supply.  Essentially the cheapest method again relies on friends and feeding their babies to stimulate your supply.  There are also some things doctors can do to trigger your milk supply, but you'll be in close contact with doctors already and should discuss it with them and even if your milk supply has 'dried up' they may still be able to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a TV programme broadcast on Channel 4 in the UK about people sharing their breastmilk called 'other peoples breastmilk' some years ago.  If you're in the UK or can access the 4OD service it is still available (last time I checked).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-11-02T21:03:18.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6657" CreationDate="2013-11-02T21:30:23.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;(I'm aware this will be too late for the OP, but you never know who it may help...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer needed is that applications should be made by early February and ideally move house in July to make a clean start in Year 3 in September.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The full procedure for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bromley.gov.uk/info/13/primary_school_admissions/72/making_a_primary_school_place_application/2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;making a primary school place application&lt;/a&gt; is detailed on the Bromley Council Website.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2013-11-02T21:30:23.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9308" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9318" CreationDate="2013-11-02T21:30:31.450" Score="3" ViewCount="1168" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 27-month-old son won't sleep during designated nap time in the afternoon. We do the same sleep preparation routine we do at night: 2 books in a rocking chair, in dim lighting, followed by tucking into bed in a dark room, and one softly sung song. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll suck his thumb and lay quietly, but a minute or two later, whether we're in the room or not, he'll start talking, about everything. What happened during the day, things he remembers, he sings songs, and just lays, sits, or stands in bed until we come to let him out if his room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Up until this week he'd been napping for 1.5 to 3 hours per day, and his night time sleep hasn't changed, or his diet. He's tired, cranky, and acts out the rest of the day, so it's not like he's ready to give it up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What's going on, and what can we do to help him get his sleep?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5006" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-08T22:51:29.343" LastActivityDate="2018-05-08T22:51:29.343" Title="How can I help my 27-month-old, who doesn't sleep at the designated nap time in the afternoon anymore?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9301" CreationDate="2013-11-03T09:48:15.753" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my nannies used a trick on me and I have used it since then and it has worked well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She put her hand in her pocket and handed me an imagined object, an invisible wish stone. And she then told me that I would always have this wish stone with me when I was dreaming. And I could wish for anything and it would happen in the dream. I could even use it to fly. I have had such an adventure with my dream worlds sins this time as I was handed some control that I could actively use in the dream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I was able to test if the thing I was experiencing was a dream by wishing for the ability to fly, and if I would fly then I would know it to be a dream and I could then relax and use my wishing power to make something fun with the dream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always given a child a part of my wish stone whenever a child talks with me about his or her dreams.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-03T16:27:24.737" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T16:27:24.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9310" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-03T15:33:45.243" Score="2" ViewCount="1238" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid is 5 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She keeps on rubbing her eyes repeatedly throughout the day. Last time I did see an eyelash in one of her eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's the way out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T19:26:30.360" Title="How to deal with the infant who has got an eyelash in the eye?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9301" CreationDate="2013-11-03T16:21:41.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It looks like Kari Gunnarsson has about half of what my answer would be in a really fun way.  Put simply - teach your child he can control his dreams once he knows it is a dream!  Best advice I was ever given as a child myself too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would Add a couple more things though too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If there is something specific in the dreams that are scary and your child can identify that scary thing, you can help him reason through why that thing isn't so scary.  For example, when I was a child I had a lot of nightmares about crocodiles for some reason.  My parents were able to establish there weren't any crocodiles living anywhere near us so the very real fear was not applicable to my bedroom or anywhere else I frequented.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Check the room for &quot;scary shadows.&quot;  Imaginations can run wild once the lights go out.  Is the monster in the corner that rears its head in his dreams really dirty laundry stacked on a chair?  Have him play with shadows a bit and make it fun.  Jewel has a great song on her children's album, The Merry Goes Round, called, &quot;Only Shadows&quot; that might apply.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he is having the same nightmare over and over again, have him draw his nightmares and then have a ceremony that helps him be &quot;rid&quot; of them.  He can draw his nightmare and then tear up the picture and throw it out, or throw it in the fireplace.  &lt;strong&gt;And/Or&lt;/strong&gt; If he is &quot;stuck&quot; in his repeating nightmare with the same problem (say he is trapped at the end of a hallway with something chasing him) have him problem solve a solution to the problem.  Perhaps he'd like to grow superperson sucker hands and suction cup climb his way up onto the cieling and back past the monster that can only run on the floor - or fly out of the situation or . . . )  Then, if he has the recurring dream again - he has a plan for his special wishing rock to get out of the dream.  Both of these techniques can help the mind to &quot;clense&quot; itself of the fearful thought at the root of the nightmare.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, for your sake, know that this too, shall pass.  Even if none of the techniques work right away, kids come out of these things and everyone will start getting their rest again soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T16:21:41.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9304" CreationDate="2013-11-03T16:48:30.453" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually assissted in a math classroom for one of my internships to become a teacher.  My lead teacher pretty much handed over the control of her &quot;resource class&quot; (those are generally the kids that have the hardest time with math, hate it, and think they don't need it)  What I did with them that worked really well, was to present them with a project that required them to research their intended career field and find the math they WOULD need to use for that career (I seriously cannot think of a single career that would require absolutley no math at all - and even IF there was one out there, there is still shopping to do which involves adding, subtracting and using percentages at least).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It simply eliminated the argument, &quot;but I won't need math.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, I talked to them about how there is an element of &quot;learning to learn&quot; involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, I did my best to make the learning fun and relevant as much as possible, games, graphing stats about the popular movie that was out, doing surveys and calculating facts and figures related to the survey outcomes . . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you are advising and not actually doing the teaching, I understand the actual classroom apporoach is probably largely out of your control - using this approach might be somewhat difficult.  However, I think the general idea still applies.  Sit down with them and talk about their career plans and which math it is they will need to use for that career.  Say all the things you are already saying.  Play a game of poker (for cookies or something) with them and talk about how understanding probablilities helps their game.  Then, if they don't take your advice - unfortunately, there probably isn't a lot more you can do for them.  They'll miss out and either learn they are missing out, or maybe it &lt;strong&gt;won't&lt;/strong&gt; be a big deal for them later (that will all depend on the individual).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-03T16:54:34.083" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T16:54:34.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9310" CreationDate="2013-11-03T19:26:30.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had one incident with a baby and an foreign object in his eyes. We solved it but sitting down with the kid in the bathtub and playing around. Whenever he would open is his eyes, I just splashed a two full hands of water in his face. He wasn't happy about this but some after distraction he would relax and play again. So we just repeated this until the object came out. The alternative would have been to go to an eyey doctor who would camp the eye open. We were trying to avoid that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T19:26:30.360" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9314" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9317" CreationDate="2013-11-03T19:41:41.280" Score="7" ViewCount="35303" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is afraid of swimming, and has been for a very long time. We first took him to baby swim classes and he never took to it like the other children in the class. I took him to swimming classes when he was three and he again was afraid and although there was progress he never gained the confidence that other children got. Now my son is 4 and we've put him in more swimming classes and he still seems terrified, some classes he cries from the beginning to the end. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not want my son to be afraid of the water, my thought was that if we kept taking him to swimming classes he would eventually get over it and learn to swim a bit, or at least not be afraid to get in. Now I am concerned that by pushing it when he's obviously so scared that I could turn this into a life-long aversion to the water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's best? Do I stop classes and wait for him to get older before trying again, or do I keep him at it until he gets over it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-04T14:24:41.703" LastActivityDate="2018-06-01T08:19:46.310" Title="If a 4 year old is afraid to swim is it better to keep trying or wait?" Tags="|pre-schooler|fears|swimming|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1703" CreationDate="2013-11-03T19:56:44.213" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I thought I was reading my own personal story, what I did is supplement with formula, twice a day, once in the evening(2 oz) and another 2 oz before sleeping, to give me a break, my milk is good and my milk supply too cause I always give the breast first as a normal feeding and then the formula so I can have time for me and for my toddlers. If he is not sleeping through the night you can help her with 2 oz after a feeding so she can sleep a little. I've been doing that since 2 weeks and doing the same now at 6 weeks old. He sleeps now 7 to 8 hours at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5010" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T19:56:44.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9297" CreationDate="2013-11-03T21:48:19.850" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, you've got it in a nutshell here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I guess I see this&#xA;  cartoon 30 minutes as a sort of extension of his sleep and don't mind&#xA;  if he pretends I'm not there until the TV goes off and he is saying&#xA;  good-bye to mom and dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also seems that part of his ignoring of you is not having to face that Mum and Dad are leaving. I'm not sure how long you've been with him, but you're a sharp reminder that Mum and Dad are leaving. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;All he does for this first thirty minutes after waking&#xA;  up is watch a cartoon and hug mommy and daddy good-bye &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems counterproductive for his parents to be pushing this issue. If he is an, otherwise, well mannered child, I would not make an issue of it. There would be better ways to deal with it. Once they have asked him to say good morning and he doesn't, they have dug themselves a bit of a pit, knowing how he typically reacts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When asking children to do something, I think it's important to set them up to succeed as much as possible, as there are just so many battles of will with children, there is no need to walk into a situation knowing it's going to be a struggle and there comes a point when one must ask, is it worth it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most important things a parent of carer can do is &lt;strong&gt;choose their battles.&lt;/strong&gt; Just because he is tired, very young, and obstinate in the mornings for 20 - 30 minutes (which may be exacerbated by his parents leaving), I wouldn't let a battle over this spoil, an otherwise, uneventful routine. As he is older and can totally grasp that he is being rude, now that is a different thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three year olds are large toddlers in many ways, they cannot grasp consequences for many things beyond immediate pavlovian type training. One cannot reason with a three year old about concepts that require empathy terribly well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can only suggest you put it to the parents in this way, as best you possibly know how. I don't mean the whole answer, but the bits and pieces that you may find useful. You sound totally like you're on the right track and his parents are anxious to raise a decent child and that's a good thing. Either way, their persisting to ask him to greet you, or by turning a blind eye to it for a short time, it's unlikely to be damaging him, developmentally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a lucky boy to have three carers who are so concerned with his development and welfare and that his parents can also show empathy towards you. These are all good role models for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good idea would be to observe which mornings he is least clingy and just once a week the parents try and prompt him to greet you. Perhaps they could pick him up and greet you, with him in the mornings, without making a huge issue of the child. If he refuses to greet you the best thing is to not make a fuss of it, either way; like &lt;em&gt;that's ok&lt;/em&gt;, just let sleeping dogs (or sleepy three year olds) lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T21:48:19.850" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2013-11-03T23:04:43.800" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember hating swim classes as a child - I never did learn to swim properly, though I can tread water and get across a pool (which I eventually taught myself). I have never enjoyed it. When my kids were 4 and 5, we moved to a townhouse with a community pool. We went down there every day, usually twice a day, just to play. My kids taught themselves to swim. I would stand in the water, and they would paddle over to me. They would tell me to move back farther, and they would paddle to me again. By the end of summer, they were jumping in the deep end and swimming the length of the pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you should try letting your son pace this. Give him plenty of opportunities in the water (daily if possible), be in the water with him, and let him gain confidence with no pressure. For people who are uncomfortable in the water, swim lessons can be horrible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T23:04:43.800" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9308" CreationDate="2013-11-03T23:28:30.993" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children change their sleep schedules all the time. According to pediatric sleep expert &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-child-stop-needing-a-nap_69843.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Jodi Mindell&lt;/a&gt;, at this age you are looking for a total of about 12-13 hours of sleep. If your child is getting that at night, he may not be tired enough for a nap in the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some possible options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep naptime just as a rest period.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he isn't napping, he may need an earlier bedtime.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you want to encourage napping, you might shorten his night sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Exposure to sunshine early in the day affects melatonin production, and exercise increases a need for rest. Try making sure he gets outside activity early in the day to help promote a need for nap.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-03T23:28:30.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9320" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9325" CreationDate="2013-11-04T10:46:58.257" Score="10" ViewCount="41633" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes my wife would hold my 2 year old daughter's hand during her bedtime to put her to sleep.&#xA;Recently when she wakes up in the middle of the night she would cry and ask for our hand so she can calm herself down to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tonight she woke up many times and is driving nuts. She would insist on holding hands even though we would sit next to the crib and reassure that we're there for her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recently brought a new baby home and I don't know if there's any insecurity contributing to the situation. Mom's been spending lots of time with the new baby because of breast feeding. However she's not calling for Mom's hand when trying to calm herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-04T12:14:04.930" LastActivityDate="2016-08-25T18:50:46.997" Title="How do I wean my 2 year old from requiring holding my hand to sleep?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9320" CreationDate="2013-11-04T11:25:14.210" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The general consensus seems to be along the lines of gradually and consistently getting tougher and leaving the child alone for longer until she learns how to sleep on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You still need to check periodically that there's nothing genuinely wrong - dirty nappy, too hot, too cold, thirsty, sick, etc. Once you've established that it's just &quot;I'm lonely and can't sleep&quot;, you can gently encourage her to sleep on her own. One popular technique is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mumsnet.com/babies/sleep-training-and-controlled-crying&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;controlled crying&lt;/a&gt;. In our experience this is hard work in the short term, but worth it in the longer term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also see:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4600/getting-a-2-year-old-back-to-sleep-in-the-middle-of-the-night&quot;&gt;Getting a 2-year-old back to sleep in the middle of the night&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T11:39:33.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2013-11-04T12:21:09.290" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the other side of the coin, I've suffered from several phobias for many years and avoiding the stressor never helped.  And in the instance of fear of water, I believe learning to swim is an essential safety skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter, now 5.5, was TERRIFIED of water.  Her first lesson, around 3, was a great way to test the soundproofing of the pool area at the YMCA.  I held her while she hollered for a good 20 minutes (and while her brother, then 6 months, cried along with her 'cause when Sissy is upset then he needs to be too).  After she cried for a while, she started trying to conquer her fears.  Took a while, and EVERY SINGLE LESSON for at least a year was prefaced with reassurances that she was not going to drown, I was not going to let her sink, her teacher was not going to let her sink.  After each lesson it was a mix of &quot;yay, I did it!&quot; and more tears.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, now she can swim a bit.  Not great, but she's getting there and building her confidence.  And it's almost time for swim lessons to start back up, and she's looking forward to them. She still gets a little nervous, and sometimes will ask again, &quot;You won't let me sink, will you, Mommy?&quot; but her all-encompassing terror of being in the water is gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T12:21:09.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9323" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9337" CreationDate="2013-11-04T13:24:17.370" Score="6" ViewCount="1781" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most pushchairs are forward facing. Recently the opinion seems to be that rearward facing ones are better as they allow the child to see your face. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering if this is yet another childcare opinion that has taken hold (perhaps to be later reversed) or if it is an &lt;strong&gt;Evidence Based&lt;/strong&gt; guideline? (And if so does the guidance change at different ages).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;USA Stroller = UK Pushchair.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5013" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-11-04T18:21:28.723" LastActivityDate="2016-02-01T18:14:50.873" Title="Evidence based guidelines for front or rearward facing pushchairs/strollers?" Tags="|stroller|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9323" CreationDate="2013-11-04T13:46:24.943" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know of an existing guideline, but I'm familiar with the evidence: there is research showing that babies facing forward have a faster heartbeat, and are less likely to nap - both during walks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to interpret this is another question. One interpretation (that I've seen, but personally I don't buy it) is that facing forwards is just stressful - and stress is bad for you - while seeing the parent is calming. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I find the leap from increased heartbeat to stress to harm to be too much of a stretch. It could just be that facing forwards is more dynamic/stimulating/exciting - and more excitement is not necessarily a bad thing. It will vary per child of course, because some babies like stimulation while others shy away from it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2013-11-04T21:30:21.513" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T21:30:21.513" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9320" CreationDate="2013-11-04T18:26:00.373" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children believe what their parents tell them. I gave my toddlers what they asked for (back rub, hand hold, music, nightlight or whatever - none of them actually needed all of that) while at the same time telling them I was absolutely sure they would not need that to fall asleep soon. I pointed out that as children get older they need less and less help for sleeping, and that when they were older - perhaps just a few days from now, whatever - they would not need this help. I said this with complete conviction and I was reminding myself as much as I was predicting for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I took to saying this about a particular kind of help that I was perhaps wishing I could stop having to give, I was always able to stop giving it within a matter of days or weeks. I also stressed much less about it myself because tired as I was, I was convinced it was just a temporary thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T18:26:00.373" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9326" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-04T20:28:42.407" Score="10" ViewCount="52820" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son constantly needs attention. He sometimes pulls his younger sister's hair to get her complain and get our attention. He talks back frequently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He repeatedly says that other kids in school bother him, which is not true. He has a hard time keeping friends, although we have set up many playdates for him. He blames others for his misbehavior i.e. he says another child bothered him that's why he hit him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has good eye contact and is a charming boy with a smile on his face. He excels academically at school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes when he is asked a question, his answer is very off task. He disobeys us a lot and does not listen.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We have tried praising him for his good behavior and having consequences for his bad behavior. It has worked out to some extent, but we think that he is aggressive at school and does not have proper social emotional skills needed to interact with his peers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does not get along with any of his classmates. Teachers say his behavior in the classroom is not appropriate. He says things that upset others ie. today he told me a few kids in my class stink, do you want me to show you who they are? Please help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5015" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-03-10T15:08:10.083" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T15:08:10.083" Title="How to deal with my 6 year old son who misbehaves at school and home?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9320" CreationDate="2013-11-04T20:59:33.430" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does your child have a comfort object?  If not, introducing a blanket or a lovie or stuffed animal might help soothe your child.   My nieces have stuffed bunnies that live in their beds.  They sleep with them and and visit them during the day when they need comfort.   It helps them sleep as well as offering calming during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5007" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T20:59:33.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9328" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9331" CreationDate="2013-11-04T21:02:56.050" Score="5" ViewCount="19332" Body="&lt;p&gt;Over the past week, my three-year-old son started talking with what I can only describe as a Southern (U.S.) accent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has started elongating his pronunciation of &quot;ah&quot; sounds, so that &quot;yeah&quot; sounds more like &quot;yea-ah&quot;, with two syllables.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, he'll say &quot;they-err&quot; instead of &quot;there&quot;, and &quot;way-er&quot; instead of &quot;where&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to have developed totally out of the blue.  Is this normal?  What can cause this?  Will he outgrow it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-11-07T05:56:49.540" Title="Why did my pre-schooler suddenly develop an odd accent?" Tags="|pre-schooler|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9320" CreationDate="2013-11-04T21:12:33.143" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I voted for @Chrys' comforting and beautifully respectful answer, but wanted to add an idea to what Chrys had to suggest.  During periods of change, kids often just need to know that &lt;strong&gt;something&lt;/strong&gt; is staying the same.  For your daughter, maybe the thing she needs to cling to right now for &quot;sameness&quot; is that she can have a hand to hold while she falls asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies change things - it is part of the deal, and learning how to cope with those changes is a good thing for kids.  However, it probably goes without saying that keeping as much of her routine as similar to the way it used to be as you possibly can for now may be a tremendous help.  I recommend that for a start, plus, let her have your finger to hold for a little while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you do decide to wean her away from this particular comfort object though, show her how she can even hold her own finger when you aren't there.  It will have a similar (albeit, smaller) feel to your own.  She may even learn to grab for her own hand in the middle of the night without really realizing what she is doing and be able to self-sooth again as a result.  Start by having her hold your finger &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; her own.  Then remove your finger but sit with her and rub her back or forehead a little while she drifts off, then spend a few nights just sitting with her (while she holds her own finger), and so on until you no longer need to be in the room at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T21:12:33.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9330" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9332" CreationDate="2013-11-04T21:24:24.847" Score="1" ViewCount="3343" Body="&lt;p&gt;The baby I care for is hitting that stage where he is almost ready to begin crawling and he is really busy looking all over the place.  Which is great and developmentally appropriate, but BOY it makes feeding time difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is like trying to put a leash on an excited puppy!  If the little guy does look at me and open his mouth, it is only for such a short period that I'll just get the spoon to his lips when he is twisting to look left, down or up (or right).  Plus the grabbing hands wanting the spoon . . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With previous babies (my own, as well as others I've cared for)  Making a funny noise, making faces and/or providing a toy on the food tray does the trick, but this little guy is far more wiggly than any baby I have EVER encountered before.  It is quite amazing really.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't mind it, (it would just mean feeding takes a little longer - no big deal) except that &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; gets frustrated because the food isn't coming fast enough.  His mom has the big brother go play in his room or hang with daddy, but when I'm there, I'm the only adult and I've got three kids to keep track of so sending the big brother (who is still only three and a bit mischievous at times) to his room alone, still doesn't really do the trick and creates separate headaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can deal and it isn't the end of the world or anything, but I thought some one out there might have a new and different trick for holding the baby's attention just a bit longer during feeding time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should add, he has a toy that attaches to his tray, and usually we give him a teether or other small toy to &quot;play&quot; with too so he has something else to hold than the spoon (I or his mom) is using.  He has just started that game where they drop things on the floor over and over again though, so if he starts grabbing for the spoon, I usually give a finger from my other hand to hold right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me reiterate - I KNOW asking him to be totally attentive right now is out of the question.  I'm just hoping for a trick or two that will help lengthen attention even just another second or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-15T20:15:39.427" LastActivityDate="2018-08-15T20:15:39.427" Title="Getting a 7-month-old baby to focus (a little) while eating?" Tags="|infant|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9328" CreationDate="2013-11-04T22:43:28.753" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids all went through stages like that, but I had always assumed it was because we live in Alabama.  My wife and I have relatively &quot;neutral&quot; American accents, having grown up in Arizona.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is it's part of his development of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phonological_awareness&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;phonological awareness&lt;/a&gt;.  Age three is when kids generally start becoming aware that words are made up of separate sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T22:43:28.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9330" CreationDate="2013-11-04T23:01:41.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, you just have to hold their chin with your other hand.  It doesn't have to be hard.  Just light pressure will usually remind them to attend to their food.  As for wanting to grab the spoon, our kids responded well to being given their own spoon.  You can also try moving to a corner or somewhere the distractions are in the direction you want him to face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T23:01:41.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2013-11-04T23:25:50.023" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something you can discuss with a good swim coach. There are various methods of starting up kids in the water: blowing bubbles, splash the teacher, swim aids, etc. A good experienced coach knows them all and may be able to figure out an approach that works for your kid. It really depends on what the stumbling block is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started early as we live on the water and being able to swim felt like a necessity. Two of the kids were fairly reluctant with one being a regular screamer. Somewhat different approaches worked: one needed a fair bit of distraction and lots of playfulness and mischief. The other one needed a person always close by until the felt safe on her own.&#xA;The moved on to be successful competitive swimmers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-11-04T23:25:50.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9334" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-05T04:25:28.607" Score="2" ViewCount="22270" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old has runny nose for 4 months. Doctor says 1 time its cold, another time its allergy, but nothing clear. Tylenol doesn't help and i really can't believe that cold can be 4 months. She can't breath and I thought its simple allergy, but ceterezin and benadril don't help also. Mucus is non stop running, not clear , like solid white color and like plastic very sticky, impossible to clean her nose. I can give her Tylenol, Benadryl, wash her nose with the whole bottle of saline and in 2 sec in will be the same runny stuffy nose. Its way too long and. I am so scared what to do?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I have never seen anything like that in my life!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5016" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:17:27.963" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T23:35:46.893" Title="2 year old has very runny stuffy nose for 4 months" Tags="|toddler|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9323" CreationDate="2013-11-05T04:34:35.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on how old your child is, it may not be able to focus on your face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A rearward facing stroller also allows the parent to see the child's face.  This means you can spot distress in your child quicker than if you're waiting to hear angry noises from a forward facing stroller. If you're walking your child around outside, it's also much easier to assess whether they're comfortable or being dazzled by sunlight if they're facing backwards. Similar for rain, dust, wind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe a better reason is that a rear-facing stroller will give better support to your child's head when (as seems inevitable) you run the stroller into a curb - similar to the reasoning behind infant car seats facing backward rather than forward.  Once your child is strong enough to hold his or her head up, I suppose that's of lesser importance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Ana's answer; a child is likely to be more stimulated by its environment when it's facing the direction of travel. Depending on whether you want your child to be excited or napping may influence your decision.  (Or depending on how exciting your face is.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T04:34:35.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9323" CreationDate="2013-11-05T12:01:20.123" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are three main areas where research informs guidance and design decisions on this type of infant transport.  To summarise, there is evidence to support the common practice of rear/inward facing for newborns and switching as they develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Visual Ability&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborn vision is limited to short distances in the order of 20-30cm.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Source: &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6508/developmental-milestones-sight#section1&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Visual Development (babycentre.co.uk, contains references)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Emotional Comfort&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They learn to recognise their parents quite early on and until they develop an awareness of &lt;a href=&quot;http://psychology.about.com/od/oindex/g/object-permanence.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;object permanence&lt;/a&gt; anything they can't see is essentially gone, which we can assume to be fairly distressing.  Object permanence was thought to take until age 2 to develop but more recent research suggests babies as young as 4 months understand it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Monitoring&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young babies are less able to regulate their temperature and a rear facing seat makes it easier for a carer to assess their comfort level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Why is it common behaviour?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Historically (as much for engineering reasons as anything else) we had Prams and Pushchairs rather than the all-in-one systems we have today.  Learned behaviour passed down through generations is equally likely to drive the common practices of today as any specific evidence or guideline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similar patterns and practices are observed in sling users, where newborns face inward and are turned to face outwards as they become more interested in the outside world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;This answer does not apply to Child Car Seats, where evidence supports use of a rear facing seat for as long as possible to minimize injury in a collision.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:11:28.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9334" CreationDate="2013-11-05T12:23:19.803" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;None of the medications you are giving to your child address the problem s/he is suffering from. All they do is help manage the symptoms, sometimes by suppressing them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your child at kindergarden? It is not uncommon for such children to &lt;em&gt;constantly&lt;/em&gt; have a runny nose. In fact, they &lt;em&gt;constantly&lt;/em&gt; pick up infections from each other, so what seems like a constant runny nose is more likely a continuous sequence of runny noses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have pets at home? Perhaps your child is allergic. Then the solution is not to pump the child full of medicine, but, unfortunately, to find another home for the pet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, really the best bet is to get your doctor to refer you to a specialist. &lt;em&gt;Insist that you be referred to a specialist.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:23:19.803" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9339" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-11-05T12:36:57.010" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Problems of great intensity and potentially grave consequence that need rapid solution or possible intervention (not urgent attention- emergencies require emergency attendance). Situations involving crisis within or out of the family. Sudden events or the accumulation of chronic situations resulting in crisis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many struggles within the family, and other environments, like school, daycare, or social situations can have events or ongoing behavioral struggles that can lead to an intense situation or crisis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T22:22:21.393" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T22:22:21.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9340" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-11-05T12:36:57.010" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-11-05T12:36:57.010" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T12:36:57.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9341" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2013-11-05T12:55:18.790" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Questions relating to a child's ability to maintain attention Or the attention seeking behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The challenges of increasing children's focus and attention span.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many problems derive from attention seeking behavior and a child seeking attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-11-06T10:53:43.453" LastActivityDate="2013-11-06T10:53:43.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9342" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2013-11-05T12:55:18.790" Score="0" Body="Questions relating to a child's ability to maintain attention Or the attention seeking behaviors. The challenges of increasing children's focus and attention span. &#xD;&#xA;Many problems derive from attention seeking behavior and a child seeking attention. " OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-11-06T10:53:35.157" LastActivityDate="2013-11-06T10:53:35.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9343" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-05T15:22:26.960" Score="4" ViewCount="423" Body="&lt;p&gt;The TV is outside my 12-year-old daughter's bedroom. She likes me to sit up until she falls asleep (which is not difficult). I pull the door to and we agree on a maximum volume that makes her feel comfortable that I am sitting up, yet not so loud as to disturb her. I generally shut the door if I am sitting up late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often, when I go to bed at a reasonable hour, she wakes up and comes into my bed. So I have tried putting the TV on a sleep timer, so it automatically switches off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not interested in why she is like this, I have a good understanding of her and the core issues need to be dealt with, but are not in the scope of this particular question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is the long term effect on my daughter needing some background noise to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there any research on this?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2019-02-08T14:59:55.037" LastActivityDate="2019-02-08T14:59:55.037" Title="What's the long-term effect on a child being accustomed to sleeping with the TV on?" Tags="|sleep|pre-teen|television|research|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8701" CreationDate="2013-11-05T15:55:46.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you have my complete sympathy,  sounds like a very difficult situation you are in.  I am sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would probably stop using spanking, since this is how he is acting out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would remove pets from the home, for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find other people who will support you.  People who will listen to your issues regarding the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pray for wisdom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try altering his diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Inquire about mood stabilizing/altering drugs that may help the boy find some measure of peace and calm.  Try them in small doses and then increase until you find the correct dosage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, keep fighting the good fight.  The boy needs you and your calming, loving influence in his live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are in my prayers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2098" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T15:55:46.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9334" CreationDate="2013-11-05T17:37:58.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have severe, year-round allergies.  The thing about allergies is you have to repeat the treatments every 12 hours at most.  Some drugs are more like 4 hours.  You're just suppressing the symptoms, not fixing the underlying cause.  As soon as you stop the treatment, the symptoms come back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, even with treatment, you still get congestion.  A decongestant will dry you out, but those are only recommended for short term, like during a cold.  The other drugs will usually make the congestion smaller and less uncomfortable, but not take it away.  You just have to get used to blowing it all out several times per day.  Two year-olds are not very good at this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, different drugs work better or worse on different kinds of allergies.  Most over-the-counter drugs work best on seasonal outdoor allergies, like pollen, where you only need them for a couple months every Spring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You really need to see an allergy specialist.  He will be able to prescribe a course of treatment that fits your daughter's individual circumstances.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T17:37:58.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9326" CreationDate="2013-11-05T19:34:13.903" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I'm glad you're focusing on praising the good behaviours as well as attaching negative consequences to the bad ones, and doing it consistently. Consistency is key, IMHO, in seeing positive outcomes from discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on your description of inconsistent discipline from one parent, and both yelling and hitting as punishment, I wonder if maybe this is his way of dealing with his home environment.  He has learned that acting out gets him attention, and that hitting or yelling is one way to deal with someone that does something that upsets you.  Maybe your husband would be willing to attend some parenting classes with you or by himself, to learn some alternative strategies to hitting and yelling as the first line of defense?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a 5.5 yr old who is currently hard at work to push EVERY SINGLE ONE of my buttons.  (I swear some were factory installed about 5.5 years ago.)  It's a mighty struggle to maintain my temper in the face of her dogged attempts to get a rise out of me, but &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; of the time I succeed.  I have to count to 10 A LOT, and make sure my immediate reaction when she really goes over the line is to use a lot of &quot;I&quot; phrases in telling her what I think of what she said/did (&quot;It hurts my feelings when you call me names,&quot; or &quot;Would you like for me to talk to you like you just did to me?  It really makes me sad.  I would not want you to be sad like that.&quot;).  And of course, there are immediate and established consequences for these actions.  First offense, second offense, and so on.  She knows what's coming when she decides to pole-vault over the line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also discovered that, after I calm down, if I sit down with her and not only explain how it made me feel and why it's not something we do/say to people we love, I can then ask her why she did it and get some surprising and enlightening answers.  Maybe she's jealous that I spent time with her brother and not her.  Maybe she's upset that we haven't had a playdate with a particular friend in a while and thinks it's my fault.  Letting her tell me what's going on in a safe space has helped more than anything else with reducing the number of &quot;let me see how much I can hurt you&quot; times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T19:34:13.903" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9225" CreationDate="2013-11-05T20:05:20.470" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The moms I have known with GD have benefited from having a lot of protein and eating every few hours,  along with moderate exercise ( walking, swimming, yoga) and enough water, like a LOT of water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, pregnancy is just hard work!  Give yourself a break and don't be afraid to ask for help.  Congratulations and good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5007" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T20:05:20.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9330" CreationDate="2013-11-05T20:10:14.420" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My distractable six month old needs me to totally focus on her while she is eating.   I open my mouth when I want her to take a bite and I wait for her to look at me before offering.   Otherwise she blows raspberries on the spoon and gets food everywhere.   Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5007" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T20:10:14.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9328" CreationDate="2013-11-05T20:41:39.073" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since it isn't really a 100% of the time kind of a deal, I think Dave Nelson has nailed it on the head.  My daughter picked up a french accent for awhile at about the same age (after seeing Rattatouille) and I mysteriously developed a southern drawl when I was three as well.  My parents talk about me getting dressed up and using the accent when I was wearing a certain dress and hat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Karl Bielefeldt points out, he is experimenting with and discovering a new part of language he hadn't previously connected with.  What is funny, is that now, since my daughter is an actress, we encourage it and age seven she has a pretty good standard British accent and can immate a Texan drawl quite well as well.  She is also attempting an Italian accent and has mentioned desiring learning an Irish accent as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have some fun with it.  Perhaps when he is using his accent, call him &quot;mater&quot; (or wherever he picked up the idea) and call him by his name when he isn't using it.  Maybe you could even try on an accent or two.  See if he'll use his funny voice when &quot;reading&quot; a character from a favorite story he has memorized - you get the idea.  I wouldn't worry about it unless he starts refusing to speak any other way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T20:41:39.073" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9350" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9357" CreationDate="2013-11-05T21:03:09.600" Score="11" ViewCount="375" Body="&lt;p&gt;My own daughter mostly refused to wear socks - unless she had shoes on - until she was about five years old.  Even now, she only wears them in the coldest months and rips them off her feet at the drop of a hat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The three-year-old I now watch is pretty much the same way.  With my own daughter, we had carpets and since the weather is pretty warm about ten months out of the year, I didn't worry about it too much and just kept her in sandals for outside.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, with the young man I am caring for, his feet are always cold - even the rest of him seems fairly warm.  I worry that his little feet are getting too cold.  Should I be concerned, or just let him be?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-06T13:16:14.737" LastActivityDate="2018-11-06T13:16:14.737" Title="To Socks or not to socks?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|clothes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9292" CreationDate="2013-11-05T22:07:51.223" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make a collage of pictures of all the art work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/childrens-artwork-collages-fro-154908&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Apartment Therapy - Get The Look: Children's Artwork Collages&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GcE5s.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;example&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2695" LastActivityDate="2013-11-05T22:07:51.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9352" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-05T23:27:57.903" Score="10" ViewCount="574" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work at home (although me being independent is almost a euphemism for being unemployed).  My wife is the primary breadwinner in our household.  My wife is also currently under a lot of stress, as her job responsibilities have increased in the lasts months, we have faced some unexpected payments, her mother died after a long deteriorating disease, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have some disagreements in how to upbring our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I rather have the kids take responsibility of their acts (v.g. if you don't make your bed you have to sleep in an undone bed; if you don't to your homework you will get a bad grade) while, on the other hand, I am pretty relaxed on enforcing behavior. Probably too much relaxed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife, on the other hand, prefers to watch them more tightly, giving orders and expecting orders to be followed, or else.  She rather prevents undesired consequences (v.g. living in a mess, getting bad grades, etc.) so if the kid does not follows an order, he or she will be punished but the chore will be made by someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This leads to some conflicts, and while I attempt not to reverse her orders or decisions in-front of the kids, she is a little less reserved in criticizing my parenting, and pointing that bad behavior from our kids (particularly from the older boy, 8) is induced by my bad example.  She also accuses my relaxing parenting as just laziness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While she might be right at some points, I do believe I am not always wrong.  When I try to point out some disagreement she usually feels attacked.  I do believe she should calm down, and having a more relaxed attitude that would even help her with her own stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But my main concern is how my kids are getting these mixed messages.  Too controlled by their mother, too relaxed by their father, and not having to deal with direct consequences of their behavior other than being grounded or having TV and gaming privileges revoked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I right in this last concern?  How can I prevent giving these mixed messages?  How can I (we) mitigate the effects or how would I prepare to the consequences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I had already read both the question and answers of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8776/how-to-deal-with-the-child-when-both-the-parents-are-not-on-the-same-page&quot;&gt;How to deal with the child when both the parents are not on the same page?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;strong&gt;before&lt;/strong&gt; posting this question; and I find that the situation is not the same, the requested advice is not the same, and the answers, while useful, are not the ones I need.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4747" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T12:20:19.730" Title="Different discipline approaches by working mommy and stay-home daddy" Tags="|behavior|discipline|conflict|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9353" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-06T00:34:56.860" Score="2" ViewCount="1559" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a child strongly resembles one of his/her parents it can create a reaction in people who meet the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can a strong physical resemblance to a parent affect relationships with both close and distant family members, where there is a strong emotional connection (positive or negative) to that parent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has there been any research into this and if so, what were the findings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-06T12:09:22.557" LastActivityDate="2019-04-06T12:09:22.557" Title="Does a child's resemblance to a parent affect attitudes of other family members?" Tags="|relationships|research|extended-family|family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="9354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9334" CreationDate="2013-11-06T00:43:25.697" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My lad always had a runny nose and trouble breathing, he seemed continuously sick. It turned out to be over-sized adenoids/tonsils. It took a long time for a doctor to mention his breathing issues. This is probably because you only take a kid to a doctor when they are sick, so the doctor assumes the tonsils are enlarged because they are inflamed. Adenoids cannot be seen by a GP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does the child snore excessively when she sleeps?&#xA;Any trouble hearing?&#xA;Is the child sleepy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-11-06T00:43:25.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9350" CreationDate="2013-11-06T11:01:40.430" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an adult who rarely wear socks without shoes I'd say either leave him and at three he'll let you know if it bothers him even if it's indirectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So long as his body temperature is fine then there's unlikely to be any cause for concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2013-11-06T11:01:40.430" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9304" CreationDate="2013-11-06T15:57:03.050" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many math teachers fall into the trap to teaching only the procedural knowledge of math--that is, they get so wrapped up in teaching the steps to successfully work the problem that they forget to teach their students the declarative knowledge of math--the WHY they need to be able to do math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As balanced mama said, the more you can incorporate real life and real math into the curriculum, the more students will see the value in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-11-06T15:57:03.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9352" CreationDate="2013-11-06T22:12:19.640" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;1) You need to discuss with her about the differing styles.  This needs to be done in a supportive, collaborative way so she doesn't feel attacked.  Find out the minimums she needs to happen, and see if you can achieve those or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) You need to stop arguing in front of children.  That needs a firm commitment from both adults to discuss that stuff out of the way of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) You don't mention the age of the children.  But 8 years old is &lt;strong&gt;too young to learn from experience&lt;/strong&gt; - a child doesn't have the same cognitive link between things they do and things that happen, especially when those events are separated over time.  Children need, and like, clear firm boundaries.  That allows them to relax and play and work without worrying about what's going to happen.  Structure is great for children.  It's great for the adults too.  Building habits when the child is young helps them learn and grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start implementing some rules.  Play is fun.  Messy play is great.  But we have a clean-up after play, and the children have to help.  With some skill this is incorporated into the play and doesn't need any &quot;discipline&quot; to enforce, but it might need techniques like &quot;no more play until we tiny up&quot;.  Have a set time for school work.  No school work that day becomes a time to revise old work, or practice things they found tricky, or to ask questions about stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Try to persuade your wife that parenting isn't about enforcing rules, and discipline isn't about applying punishments for things not done.  Punishment should be kept for times when the child does something that they know is wrong but they do anyway.  Explanation is for when they do something wrong without knowing it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apologies for the grumpy tone of this post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2013-11-06T22:12:19.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2013-11-07T13:03:56.243" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is exactly the same way - fearful even to put her face in the water.  This is despite baby swim lessons . . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I grew up on an island and we still go back there every summer, we spend a lot of time in boats and around water so the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safekids.org/watersafety&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;water safety considerations in general&lt;/a&gt; as well as those &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safekids.org/tip/boating-safety-tips&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;specific to open water&lt;/a&gt; are very real for us.  The rate of deaths in children due to drowning are quite high compared to other causes so I always pushed her to learn.  Looking back, I might have been less pushy about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always made sure that if she was around the water she had a life vest on that fit her properly, but the lessons just resulted in a lot of screaming and were miserable for everyone.  Baby lessons went alright, but she never took to it with the enthusiasm any of her cousins have had and even her first bath resulted in lots of tears and crying.  She knew to be careful around water but also knew I think water is tons of fun and that knowing how to swim can free a person to have that fun safely.  She knew all the safety rules and even at her cousin's house with the pool in the backyard, she never broke the rule that if she was around water she wore her vest and made sure an adult was with her (even if she hated the rule, she respected it). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that she is seven however, she doesn't want to have to wear a life-vest at the pool and friends were inviting her to pool parties and the like all the time last spring.  She agreed to give lessons a chance and to &quot;breathe through her fear&quot; at an indoor  and heated pool.  She loves the lessons now - she sees a self-motivating reason to participate and really give it a shot.  We're even listening to the Michael Phelps book, &quot;No Limits&quot; on CD because she is sudddenly CRAZY INTERESTED in swimming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She still only floats on her back for a few seconds before folding up, but she has only been doing lessons for about a month and a half and she is A LOT more comfortable now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I took the long way around to say, Make sure Safety is your first priority, but then let your child lead the pace on the matter after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-09T15:15:12.883" LastActivityDate="2013-11-09T15:15:12.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7888" CreationDate="2013-11-07T13:54:21.247" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you know, three year olds need a lot of attention &lt;strong&gt;especially&lt;/strong&gt; when there is a new baby in the house.  When they don't get the attention they need, they &lt;strong&gt;Demand it&lt;/strong&gt;.  Based on the fact that your guy is specifically singing loudly - I'm guessing that is his intention.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First, be glad it isn't worse:  The little guy I baby-sit (full time) is going through exactly the same thing, except he doesn't sing to get his attention, he throws temper-tantrums - and they are ROYALE tanrums.  His parents are really struggling with it, though most of the tantrums I see are at times when they are about to leave.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Second, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.  Try to have some fun with it.  Maybe you could also start singing - loudly.  Join in (when the baby isn't sleeping).  Your little guy will suddenly be getting funny and silly attention rather than annoyed attention - you might both find yourselves laughing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the baby is sleeping, there is nothing wrong with simply stating, &quot;it is too loud!&quot;  Kids have short attention spans so you *&lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; have to repeat yourself.  You also could try to have babies nap (or at least one of baby's naps) be quiet time to spend together.  Cuddle up and read a couple of good books together while baby is sleeping.  OR have your three year old help you with something that needs getting done - wash the dishes together for example.  A three year old can safely rinse most dishes.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure he gets some time with only mommy and he every week at a regular time when he knows he can expect it.  Time with Daddy is important too, but he is probably getting Daddy so that Mommy can feed baby, get some rest, etc.  &lt;strong&gt;A Lot&lt;/strong&gt;.  To a three year old, this can feel like he is being replaced.  It is tough to get away from baby during the earliest stages - with nursing an issue etc. . . but, it might be refreshing for Mommy too in the end to get a half hour to 45 minutes to go to the park or for a walk or something with only her eldest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Back to &quot;if you can't beat em, join 'em&quot;  Have a family kareoke night (sp?)  After baby is tucked in for the evening and before the older one's bed-time, make a special night of his new-found enthusiasm for singing.  have fun singing to your favorite songs at a volume level that is appropriate.  Then you are modeling for him, celebrating his passion (with-out complimenting the horrific singing) AND spending some time together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-07T13:54:21.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9363" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-08T03:43:40.603" Score="2" ViewCount="12281" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid who's 5 months old is being bottle fed since past 4 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday, a doctor warned us against various &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;diseases&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; caused by bottle feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I know about the tooth decay caused by prolonged bottle usage.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use a good quality sterilizer. So, in our case, the baby getting ill by dirty bottle is a rare possibility, IMO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Assuming the bottle is 100% sterilized, what are diseases that my kid can catch by bottle feeding and what are the ways to avoid/minimize them while continuing bottle?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2013-11-11T12:57:42.897" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T10:59:52.480" Title="What diseases are caused by bottle feeding and how can they be prevented?" Tags="|infant|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9364" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-08T03:52:18.697" Score="2" ViewCount="9521" Body="&lt;p&gt;The tea spoon holds quite a less amount of milk. The kid of 5 months old is used to bottle feeding for past 4 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was thinking of using a soup spoon instead (which is round and has depth). Will that be a bad idea?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What kind of spoon should be used such that she doesn't miss the bottle &lt;em&gt;too much&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-09T14:58:10.423" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T02:48:50.060" Title="What kind of spoon should be used to feed the infant who is used to be fed by the bottle?" Tags="|infant|feeding|bottle-feeding|weaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9365" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-08T03:56:26.683" Score="2" ViewCount="4982" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid is 5 months old. She keeps on chewing her fingers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should she be given a teether or should she be allowed to chew her fingers?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the possible disadvantages of giving an infant a teether and how should they be countered?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2019-06-03T09:28:00.193" Title="Should a teether be given to an infant? If, yes, then at what age?" Tags="|infant|teething|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9365" CreationDate="2013-11-08T04:01:06.170" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give her a teether. Just make sure it's one suitable for her age, but teethers are useful for babies who want to use them and will help her with sore gums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5029" LastActivityDate="2013-11-08T04:01:06.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2013-11-08T07:45:24.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually it is seen that kids and even adults are afraid to do certain things due to some happenings in the past. However, it is quite important to help them overcome unnecessary fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case a good practice would be for the parents themselves take first step into the water and encourage the kid to step in. But to make it happen you need to first assure him that you are with him so nothing is going to happen to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5030" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2013-11-08T13:27:08.127" LastActivityDate="2013-11-08T13:27:08.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9364" CreationDate="2013-11-08T11:59:16.087" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest a specific baby spoon. These are usually plastic or with a rubber coating. An adult metal spoon might hurt them if they flail, protest or bite down hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, what is wrong with the bottle? &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mumsnet.com/babies/weaning&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Current advice&lt;/a&gt; is to leave weaning (onto solid foods) until after 6 months and if breast milk is not an option, the bottle seems like the best way to feed until weaned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2013-11-08T11:59:16.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9364" CreationDate="2013-11-09T14:13:10.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this doesn't really address the question as asked.  However, due to a conversation in chat with the poster as well as other simultaneously asked questions, here is the best answer I can offer at this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a bit of a debate over when to wean baby entirely - in the US at least, but the standard is about one year to one and a half years here.  There are a lot of things to consider when weaning - not the least of which includes the baby's nutritional health, mental well-being &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; immune health.  Your other question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/9363/2876&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; addresses some of the concerns doctors might have regarding bottle use in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby can be eating solid foods &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; still drinking mother's milk for years if mother and baby desire it to be so.  What is best for everyone, as I said, is up for debate and quite individual.  I thought this &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.llli.org/ba/aug94.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;short article&lt;/a&gt; posted on La Leche League's website was interesting, though not very conclusive (and absolutely in keeping with La Leche League's purpose - to raise awareness about breast feeding and fully support a mother's right to do so as long as she feels is right).  Here is what the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;World Health Organization has to say about it.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As a global public health recommendation, infants should be exclusively breastfed1 for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants&#xA;  should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods&#xA;  while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most doctors in the US will disagree with the two years part and shorten that number to closer to about a year so the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/aap-press-room-media-center/Pages/Weaning-from-the-Bottle.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; recommends that 18 months &lt;strong&gt;at most&lt;/strong&gt; is the time for &lt;strong&gt;full&lt;/strong&gt; weaning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At our house, we introduced solids at about the times we would normally consider to be meal times (breakfast, lunch and dinner), but if Alice was hungry at any other time, her &quot;snacks&quot; were still mother's milk (or if we had been feeding formula, we probably would have used it).  She also still got to nurse just before I left for work, when I arrived home, and right before bed.  As she consolidated her eating habits, the frequency of nursing dropped because she no longer asked for it.  At some point, she no longer needed to nurse right when I got home (and I no longer needed her to either) It wasn't painful - no one missed anything, no difficulty at all.  Because I let her take the lead on how often she needed to &quot;snack,&quot; she actually weaned herself - and earlier than I would have personally anticipated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The spoon you choose to use is irrelevant to the bottle feeding if you are only using the spoon to introduce the new foods or, &quot;solids.&quot;  Using a baby spoon is ideal as it will be safest for baby, and easiest to use (grips for the parent, and all kinds of technologies involving the shape of the handle are available). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Continue using the bottle (or breast) for milk feedings, and just add the spoon for introducing other foods.&lt;/strong&gt; Wean away from the bottle at night first by beginning to cut down on night-time feedings through sleep training and other similar methods.  Slowly reduce her intake of milk and introduce a sippy cup as soon as you think she is ready to use one.  The infant I care for already uses one for his water with his other foods at 7 months old - simply remove the rubber piece that causes a requirement for sucking and you can &lt;strong&gt;carefully&lt;/strong&gt; pour in the milk/water/whatever if your child is unable to hold the cup or regulate outpouring of the liquid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a separate medical issue that requires letting go of the bottle entirely even at this early stage - I recommend a switch to a sippy cup rather than a switch to a spoon for this purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T02:48:50.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9373" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="9376" CreationDate="2013-11-09T15:00:41.903" Score="6" ViewCount="202" Body="&lt;p&gt;What signs can a baby show to indicate he/she is ready for weaning?  What does a parent look for to determine the right timing for this for baby, mom and family?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-09T17:39:00.417" Title="How do you know when to wean?" Tags="|infant|weaning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9374" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-09T15:01:43.047" Score="3" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;After you've determined it is time to begin the weaning process, how long should it take to finish weaning and how many steps or stages are involved?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-09T17:46:58.347" Title="How does one pace the weaning process?" Tags="|infant|weaning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9375" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-09T17:24:02.563" Score="5" ViewCount="1279" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are from Indonesia and we live in an English speaking country. I'm not sure what language we should speak to or teach our baby boy (now 8 months). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we use English, so that when he's older he won't have problems with speaking to other people here or in school? Or should we use Indonesian, because it's the language my wife and I naturally use to talk to each other? Also, our extended family (including the grandparents) are mostly in Indonesia and many of them don't speak English, obviously he has to know Indonesian in order to communicate with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we teach both languages (very likely), is there a best approach? Can we teach them simultaneously? Do we have to follow &quot;one parent, one language&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4192" LastActivityDate="2013-11-10T14:57:45.493" Title="What language should we teach our child if our native tongue is different from the local language?" Tags="|toddler|infant|bilingual|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9373" CreationDate="2013-11-09T17:39:00.417" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A wise woman once told me that weaning is a two-way process. Whenever it is not right for either one of the people involved (the woman or the baby/toddler), it is over. Some signs that it is not right for your infant or toddler any more:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your infant or toddler refuses to nurse when clearly hungry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your infant or toddler prefers another (age-appropriate) form of food. Note that until 12 months an infant should be fed primarily formula or breast milk, with solid food as a supplemental food.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mothers generally know when nursing is no longer working for them. This can be a varied and complex decision. At the end of the day I think the question of when a mother needs to wean boils down to when a mother feels that nursing brings a smaller benefit to her nursing child than the things it takes away from herself, her husband, her other children if she has them, and any other obligations she might have. That time is different for every mother. For some it is nearly instantaneous after birth. For others it is not until the late toddler years when a toddler finally self-weans. For many it is somewhere in between. No one should ever shame a mother for mother-led weaning if she takes all the factors of her life into account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-11-09T17:39:00.417" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="9377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9374" CreationDate="2013-11-09T17:46:58.347" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two important factors in the pacing of the weaning process. The first is the mother's health. A mother's body has to be told slowly enough that milk no longer needs to be made. Otherwise she is at an increased risk of engorgement, mastitis, and other unpleasant side-effects. If immediate weaning is required for some reason, a prescription for medicine which will dry up her milk supply may be needed. In the normal case of a mother weaning an infant or toddler at the end of a nursing relationship, waiting between 3 days to a week to drop another feeding is sufficient. A week is generally recommended for the mother's health, but some women find they can easily drop feedings faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other factor is the infant's comfort. Usually in weaning there are 3 big changes going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The change from mostly nursing to not nursing at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The change from breast milk to cow's milk or formula&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The change, for an infant between 12 and 18 months, from a bottle to a cup of some sort.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is wise to approach one change at a time. For example if you are weaning a 1 year old who already drinks breast milk or formula from a bottle and switching that child to cow's milk, try mixing cow's milk with breast milk or formula in a bottle and slowly increasing the amount of cow's milk over time. Once your child is comfortable with cow's milk in a bottle then begin to drop feedings, replacing them with cow's milk in a bottle instead. Once you have dropped several or all feedings you can switch to cow's milk in a cup at meal time. Switching from a bottle to a sippy cup is it's own concern. If you are switching an infant from nursing to bottles of breast milk or formula then hopefully you introduced the bottle at the appropriate age, which is 3 weeks old before bottle refusal sets in, and kept up at least 1-2 bottles weekly. If you did not then you will need to work on finding a bottle your infant will accept before weaning nursing sessions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many mothers find that their children who enjoy nursing do best with a greater-than-one-week-between-dropping-feedings spacing. For example  I know of many women who found 2 weeks at each number of feedings was best. Others even spaced it out to a month. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are looking to do child-led weaning then you can practice don't offer, don't refuse. In this weaning practice you never offer your child a nursing session. However when your child asks you either nurse right away or, if the time is not right for nursing, nurse as soon as possible after your child asks. This form of weaning can take a significant amount of time but may be right for a mother who is not set on weaning immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-11-09T17:46:58.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9375" CreationDate="2013-11-09T19:29:02.490" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience tells me &lt;strong&gt;you should both speak your native tongue at home,&lt;/strong&gt; and you can throw in some English along the way just for variety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know how you can tell Chinese from Spanish, even if you speak neither? Children up to at least 7 years of age are incredibly good at telling languages apart - even languages they don't speak. Children can learn a lot just by listening. Each language has a different melody, different intonations, different sounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't even have to &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; and your son will still figure out on his own when you're speaking Indonesian and when it's English. This is why I suggest that you just speak your own language, because you will likely be his only source of learning that. He will be hearing English all around him, and he'll hear his parents interact with others in English. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should teach him &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; English, though. Not teaching him anything at all would be a sad waste of opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-11-09T19:38:33.930" LastActivityDate="2013-11-09T19:38:33.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2013-11-09T22:55:46.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I completely agree with balanced mama (I usually do....) about making sure that SAFETY is your first priority.  There are a lot of people who delude themselves into thinking that if their child can doggie-paddle, then he/she is a perfectly fine swimmer and can be left unsupervised in a pool.  This is not the case.  Kids who can doggie paddle are barely swimming.  It is not going to harm your child to be overly-cautious with him/her until his/her swimming proficiency progresses adequately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe now isn't the time for swim lessons, but safe exposure to water is important.  Giving your son the opportunity to explore water in a safe environment will make him more comfortable and, eventually, he'll learn how to swim in his own time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom first put me in swim lessons when I was 4 or 5.  And I was a screamer.  I clung to the wall of that pool and refused to budge.  I remember it vividly.  For the duration of those swim classes, I probably ventured from the wall a total of 3 times and I'm certain I screamed more than I didn't scream.  That summer, I started daycamp and we went swimming EVERYDAY.  I didn't learn to swim that summer or the next summer, remaining safely in the shallow end of the pool where I could touch the bottom (I wasn't stupid.  I knew I couldn't swim and I knew exactly how far I could go before it was too deep for me).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, the summer I was 7, I decided that I wanted to go off the diving board.  My daycamp, understandably, would not allow anyone who couldn't swim the width of the pool to jump off the diving board into 8 feet of water.  I watched my friends and kids who were younger than me happily leaping off the end of the board and pop up smiling as they swam to the edge of the pool, and I felt stupid.  So, in the span of about an hour, with the help of some daycamp counselors, my friends, and a swim instructor who had been teaching swimming longer than I'd been alive, I learned how to swim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the years, I became a swim instructor myself, I was a lifeguard, and I'm proficient in every stroke and kick (maybe not the butterfly so much, but I could teach it if I had to...).  I can tread water for several minutes and rescue unconscious victims from the bottom of a pool.  I wouldn't win any awards for diving, but I've taught a fair number of children to dive, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before learning can begin a child really needs to be comfortable in the water and feel motivated to learn how to swim.  That motivation is different for every kid, but it needs to be an intrinsic motivation.  Begin by getting him comfortable in the water without a life jacket with you there and worry about the lessons later.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-11-09T22:55:46.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4708" CreationDate="2013-11-10T10:53:52.150" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he has transitioned to a toddler bed it is the only reason he needs to wake and get up. It is a major deal to little ones. It's different and offers a new exciting freedom. He will test the boundaries of that just like he will test the boundaries of everything else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep up the hard work! One week, while torturous, is not very long for a little one to adjust and get used to a major change. Some kids may only need a couple redirections back to bed but most will need several weeks to months. It is quite common to see a decrease in the undesired behavior and then a spike here and there. Sometimes a REALLY bad spike indicates the dance is about to end. An extinction burst happens when a child's undesired behavior has been ignored and redirected to the desired behavior and the child full heartedly resists( major spike in awakenings, tantruming, etc) Many people give up at this point but it is the most crucial time to stay consistent. Once you move through the burst, the new behavior will have replaced the old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6037" LastActivityDate="2013-11-10T10:53:52.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9375" CreationDate="2013-11-10T14:57:45.493" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents dramatically overestimate the risk of not learning the community language, especially if you are in the US. In my family alone, over 7 languages have died in the last 3 or 4 generations (German, Russian, Swedish, French, Cherokee, Dutch, Polish). There has never been a case of a child born in the US failing to learn English from the community. My entire extended family is now mono-lingual English, I know of no cases in my family where the minority language lasted even a single generation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another common policy is one-parent-one-language. That allows you to hedge your bets, but the minority language would be be &quot;harmed&quot;, i.e. your child is less likely to successfully gain a balanced fluency* in the minority language, will identify with it less and be less likely to actually ever use it.  The phenomena of kids switching permanently to their better language (the host country language) is common, the best way to fight that is to maximize the amount of the minority language they hear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*when you speak both languages equally well and don't strongly prefer one over the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ref: books on amazon, Raising a Bilingual Child (forgot the exact author &amp;amp; title, if I have time I'll look it up)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2013-11-10T14:57:45.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9363" CreationDate="2013-11-10T15:53:05.517" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;5 months old is &lt;strong&gt;far&lt;/strong&gt; from &quot;extended&quot; use of the bottle!  Now that I've seen this question, your other question also makes a lot more sense.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is evidence that indicates babies fed with breast milk are less likely to develop early childhood caries (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_caries&quot;&gt;cavities&lt;/a&gt;), as well as a number of other diseases.  Many breast-fed babies also use bottles while mom is away.  It is likely the difference is not in the use of the bottle, but in the milk served through the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, breast milk is not an option for everyone and since your child has not been on breast milk for this long already, I don't understand why your doctor would be so insensitive as to point that out &lt;strong&gt;now&lt;/strong&gt; and not give you ideas for other kinds of prevention of these issues.  Many people will talk about &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/guide/what-is-baby-bottle-tooth-decay&quot;&gt;baby bottle tooth decay&lt;/a&gt;&quot; but the problem is not really with the bottle, rather it is with oral hygiene.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also problems related to mouth shape and alignment as well as alignment of the teeth the American Academy of Pediatricians points out as possibilities when bottle use is continued &lt;strong&gt;after 18 months!!&lt;/strong&gt;  Again, why your doctor would encourage you to do away with the bottle &lt;strong&gt;at this point&lt;/strong&gt; is strange unless there is some special circumstance about your baby with which we are not aware.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I believe in listening to doctor's advice!!&lt;/strong&gt; However, &lt;strong&gt;Doctors are humans and do make mistakes too&lt;/strong&gt; Therefore, I strongly recommend, &lt;strong&gt;getting a second opinion&lt;/strong&gt;  Find a doctor with whom you are comfortable enough to &lt;strong&gt;ask questions&lt;/strong&gt; and who will then &lt;strong&gt;give you answers&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to the tooth decay issue:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pediatric dentists recommend against extra night-time feedings (including with breast milk) or unlimited access to drinks of any kind other than water because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Frequent night time bottle feeding with milk is associated with, but&#xA;  not consistently implicated in, ECC. Breastfeed- ing greater than&#xA;  seven times daily after 12 months of age is associated with increased&#xA;  risk for ECC. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Child's dentist and hygienist recommended wiping her teeth and gums with a gauze square after each feeding (even the night-time ones) to wipe away the bacteria that cause decay as well as those that cause gingivitis.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention that you use a sterilizer, but &lt;strong&gt;humans have bacteria that lives in our mouths and is just there too.  Even kissing baby introduces germs into the mouth and so since they are there, good dental hygiene will keep their over-population (and resulting maladies) at bay.&lt;/strong&gt;  The following is an excerpt from the same previously quoted article and also applies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Oral hygiene measures should be implemented no later than the time of&#xA;  eruption of the first primary tooth. Cleansing the infant’s teeth as&#xA;  soon as they erupt with a soft toothbrush will help reduce bacterial&#xA;  colonization. Tooth- brushing should be performed for children by a&#xA;  parent twice daily, using a soft toothbrush of age-appropriate size.&#xA;  Flossing should be initiated when adjacent tooth surfaces cannot be&#xA;  cleansed with a toothbrush&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because having a relationship with a &lt;strong&gt;Dental care professional&lt;/strong&gt;  can be so helpful in a child's dental health and emergence of good habits in this matter the AAPD also recommends finding a &quot;dental home&quot; by the time your child turns one.  You aren't at the stage yet, but meeting with a pediatric dentist, may help to put your mind at ease - even now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The initial visit should include thorough medical (infant) and dental&#xA;  (parent and infant) histories, a thorough oral examination,&#xA;  performance of an age- appropriate tooth brushing demonstration, and&#xA;  prophylaxis and fluoride varnish treatment if indicated. In addition,&#xA;  assessing the infant’s risk of developing caries and determining a&#xA;  prevention plan and interval for periodic re-evaluation should be&#xA;  done. Infants should be referred to the appropriate health&#xA;  professional if specialized intervention is necessary. Providing&#xA;  anticipatory guidance regarding dental and oral development, fluoride&#xA;  status, non-nutritive sucking habits, teething, injury prevention,&#xA;  oral hygiene instruction, and the effects of diet on the dentition are&#xA;  also important components of the initial visit. Oral hygiene:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The quotes above are cut from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aapd.org/media/Policies_Guidelines/G_InfantOralHealthCare.pdf#xml=http://pr-dtsearch001.americaneagle.com/service/search.asp?cmd=pdfhits&amp;amp;DocId=359&amp;amp;Index=F%3a%5CdtSearch%5Caapd.org&amp;amp;HitCount=36&amp;amp;hits=35%20af%2013a%2017b%20215%20229%202f5%20314%203dc%203dd%203ed%203ef%2041b%2044d%20480%204f1%2053e%20545%20586%205f9%20652%2067a%20727%2081b%20827%2083e%20b79%20be0%20c05%20c70%20e74%20ebf%201144%201198%2011d4%2011ec%20&amp;amp;hc=1762&amp;amp;req=recommendations%20for%20Parents%20of%20infants&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally: One can find discussion about how use of bottles and pacifiers &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; cause misaligned adult teeth, but &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; of what I can find online refers to this as a problem for kids that continue use after 18 months at the earliest. Even the AAP doesn't specify what these problems actually are though.   The most specific statement in this regard that I found was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.colgate.com/app/CP/US/EN/OC/Information/Articles/Oral-and-Dental-Health-at-Any-Age/Infants-and-Children/Infant-Care/article/Can-Pacifier-and-Baby-Bottles-Ruin-My-Babys-Teeth.cvsp&quot;&gt;on the &lt;strong&gt;Colgate Page&lt;/strong&gt;!&lt;/a&gt; and said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;During a child's first few years, sucking habits probably won't damage&#xA;  his or her mouth. But frequent and long-term sucking can cause&#xA;  problems. &lt;strong&gt;This is especially true if the habit continues after baby&#xA;  teeth start to fall out.&lt;/strong&gt; Long-term sucking can cause:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;The top front teeth to slant out&#xA;The bottom front teeth to tilt in&#xA;The upper and lower jaws to be misaligned&#xA;The roof of the mouth to be narrower side to side&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boldfacing is my addition because I wanted to highlight how late we are talking about here.  5 months is very soon to be worried about sucking habits causing alignment problems down the line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-10T23:46:44.907" LastActivityDate="2013-11-10T23:46:44.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9364" CreationDate="2013-11-10T17:08:43.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In American culture, it is unusual to wean a child from sucking at this early an age, but apparently in other cultures is is not uncommon to move to a spoon as early as 8 months as a transition to cup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/tdcpublication/52/3/52_3_143/_pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Scientistst in Japan&lt;/a&gt; looked at three different spoon shapes which they evaluated for confusion with regard to lip position, spillage and choking. While none of the spoons was better or worse for spillage or choking, one spoon shape was definitely less confusing for the infant to use:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/R8TP0.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The spoon should be supported by the lower lip, with the surface of&#xA;  the water touching the upper lip. However, if the width of the mouth&#xA;  is insufficient to accommodate the spoon, problems will ensue with&#xA;  regard to lip position and the ability to intake liquid. If no such&#xA;  problems occur, then the infant will usually sip twice from each&#xA;  spoonful...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We concluded that there are three reasons why the hemispherical spoon&#xA;  effectively prevented infants from becoming confused with regard to&#xA;  lip position. First, it was possible to drink liquid from this spoon&#xA;  from any direction, which means that a mother can assist her infant in&#xA;  feeding from any direction. Second, the width of the bowl was&#xA;  appropriate for an infant’s mouth size. (In our previous study, the&#xA;  width of the spoon bowl was approximately 2/3 the width of the&#xA;  infant’s mouth.) Third, the size of the spoon was such that the amount&#xA;  of liquid that filled the spoon was suitable for one mouthful for an&#xA;  infant. &lt;strong&gt;To sip liquid, an infant’s upper lip must touch the surface&#xA;  of the liquid.&lt;/strong&gt; For this to occur, the spoon must be filled with a&#xA;  sufficient amount of liquid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have to tilt the spoon or tip the baby's head back to dispense the liquid, the child's airway may open, creating a higher risk of aspiration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The most important consideration, of course, is to make sure the infant is getting the same amount of nutrition as he would from bottle or breast.&lt;/strong&gt; It seems like it would take a long time to feed 8 oz from a spoon, but I have never tried it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-10T17:08:43.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9363" CreationDate="2013-11-10T19:33:12.920" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is difficult to assess bottle risk as separate from formula risk, because formula is delivered by bottle, where breast milk generally is not. Therefore the results of studies on either may or may not be generalized to both. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some points to consider regarding bottles in particular:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some germs are not killed by boiling. Sterilization may not be enough protection if your water source is suspect to begin with.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most bottles are made of plastic, and many plastics contain BPA. Studies are suggesting a connection between plastic toxins and asthma, allergies, and eczema. Look for BPA-free products.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In areas of the world where infantile diarrhea is prevalent, a combination of factors, including bottle use, are cited as contributors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are considering moving from bottle-delivery of formula to spoon or cup, you may find the spoon or cup easier to sanitize, since they are not as deep as a bottle. Also plastics can scratch, making them harder to clean than other materials. Remember that it is very hard for germs to survive on a clean, dry surface, so part of the cleaning process is to ensure complete air drying.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disease that could be related to absence of breast milk, substitution of formula, or use of bottle:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a 2010 meta-analysis citing 80 sources and studies regarding infant feeding options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Formula-fed  infants are more likely to develop an infection in the&#xA;first year of life, including influenza,&#xA;Streptococci, E. Coli, cholera, giardia, rotavirus, and herpes&#xA;simplex 1.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Formula-fed infants face an increased risk (about 2.8 times) of&#xA;gastroenteritis and diarrhea.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The risk of hospitalization in developed countries for respiratory&#xA;infection is 3.6 times higher for formula-fed children, and it is&#xA;higher than that in developing countries. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not breast-feeding may also increase disease risk through exposure to&#xA;foreign antigens in the formula.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asthma rates are 1.7 times higher for formula-fed babies where a&#xA;family history exists, and 1.4 times where there is no family history&#xA;of asthma.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is a 1.7 times greater risk of atopic dermatitis.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the increased risk in many cases may be small, especially in cases where general risk is low, the cumulative risk of all these factors might be the cause of your doctor's concerns. Again, it is hard to say whether the risks are formula-related, bottle-related, related to the absence of breastmilk, or some combination of the three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Citation:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stuebe A, Schwarz E. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/719044&quot;&gt;The risks and benefits of infant feeding practices for women and their children.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;em&gt;Journal Of Perinatology: Official Journal Of The California Perinatal Association&lt;/em&gt; [serial online]. March 2010;30(3):155-162. Available from: MEDLINE, Ipswich, MA. Accessed November 10, 2013.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-10T19:33:12.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10383" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10385" CreationDate="2013-11-11T02:10:13.017" Score="6" ViewCount="1075" Body="&lt;p&gt;We lately received a (lightly) used Pack 'N Play from friends of ours, in preparation for our first baby, due 6 months from now. Pack-'N-Play-type playpen units consist mostly of fabric stretched across a collapsible metal frame. Most of the fabric isn't removable, so won't go through the washing machine. Also, this particular Pack 'N Play has been in a house with a bunch of cats &amp;amp; ex-smokers. So, we've got two problems:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do we get out the smoke and cat smells before the new addition?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What kind of regular, periodic disinfection regime should we put the non-removable fabric parts go through once the little one gets here?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6039" LastActivityDate="2013-11-11T13:01:06.347" Title="Washing and disinfecting a Pack 'N Play" Tags="|cleaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10383" CreationDate="2013-11-11T10:06:04.747" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try a quite natural method – air it in the sun for several hours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be worried, though, about really getting rid of the ingrained smoke residue (and whatever other harmful chemicals came along with it). If it's in the mattress, you'll never get it rid of it. I wouldn't even consider using the Pack-'N-Play after it has been in a house of smokers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For part 2, soap and water and a sponge is probably enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-11-11T10:06:04.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10383" CreationDate="2013-11-11T13:01:06.347" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could TRY scrubbing the non-removable fabric pieces with a mixture of 1 part bleach/4 parts water, and then letting it dry in the sun as @Dave Clarke suggested.  However, that's iffy.  There are so many toxic chemicals in cigarette smoke that I'm not sure ANYTHING short of an autoclave could get them out.  I vote for thank the friends and toss it and get one that hasn't been saturated in noxious chemicals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you want to keep it anyway, at least please toss the mattress and replace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-11T13:01:06.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10387" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-11T16:11:32.017" Score="12" ViewCount="1970" Body="&lt;p&gt;Background:&#xA;While my wife and I provide an independent, creative and supporting environment for our kids, we also work very to hard to demonstrate &quot;predictable consequences&quot; for any behavior be it positive or negative. When friends come over, we cover the golden rule and everybody is happy with the occasional reminder from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Trouble:&#xA;We have a closely related relative who lives very close to us. Their son is the same age as our boy. The troubling part is their boy is poorly behaved. He's on his second pre-school due to the fact he was expelled from the first. Throughout the years, his behavior has become worse and worse. The only thing his parent's do is undermine anybody who attempts to do anything and simple console him when he's upset. This kid's bad behavior rubs off on our son too. We spend time before and after playtime conditioning our son in order to keep him on the right track.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Complicating Factor:&#xA;When this relative's son is at our house without his parents. He behaves well, not perfect, but well. He is respectful and we have only had to review consequences a few times in the 2 years we've had him around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems clear that the parents are the issue. This son's Dad has asked us &quot;how we do it&quot; (as in keep his kid in line), and we've been candid in our response. No surprise though, nothing came of it. As we have already limited interaction as much as possible without causing family strife, I really only see two options ahead of us. 1) Cut ties altogether, 2) Confront the parents and cause strife. At any rate, it seems option 2 is just a matter of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is an option we haven't considered?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6042" LastActivityDate="2013-11-13T21:31:49.373" Title="Relatives' son is awful. What is another option?" Tags="|behavior|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10388" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10387" CreationDate="2013-11-11T17:10:20.080" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it possible/feasible for him to spend more time with your family without his parents around?  Since his parents don't seem to be particularly interested in discipline and their son's behavior, his best bet for a calm, predictable environment is your home.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more time he's around an environment where there are predictable consequences for behaviors and a supportive structure, the better.  You might be this child's only chance for a bit of structure in an otherwise unstructured upbringing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-11T17:10:20.080" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9350" CreationDate="2013-11-12T01:32:24.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it a sensory problem?  As in, do socks feel too tight to him?  Maybe a pair of slip-on slippers or jandals might help.  But as others say above, he should be able to let you know if he's cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1897" LastActivityDate="2013-11-12T01:32:24.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10387" CreationDate="2013-11-12T03:40:56.377" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would advise against cutting ties or confronting. Cutting ties punishes the child for something that is really not his fault. He needs allies in the family. Confrontation could do the same, it is unlikely to help, and it introduces a negative dynamic into the larger family that you will never be able to take back. These people aren't raising their son badly because they want to be mean. They are just clueless (and perhaps lazy) - not enough reason to write them off completely. Continue to teach by example, but don't expect much!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you have other options as well. Inviting the boy to your house without his parents, as Valkyrie suggests, is one thing you can do. You will be a positive influence, though a limited one when compared to his parents. A few other considerations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Meet in a neutral space. When my kids were small, we had friends that we always met at neither house. Sometimes it was a park, sometimes an eating place with play area. It gave me a little bit of control over the situation - we could end the get-together if it got to be too unpleasant. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to your young relative the same way as you talk to your own child. This not only benefits the boy, but it shows your own child consistency.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remember that every experience is a learning experience for your child. Your son will experience undisciplined children when he goes off to school without you. He will need to know how to talk to them, how to stand up for himself, when to tell a teacher... This is an opportunity to learn that all children will not be as nice as he is or as well-behaved as he is, and to help your child learn some phrases to say in different situations he encounters with his cousin.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Invite other children at the same time (again, a neutral spot is best). A group of children are less likely to put up with a badly behaved peer, and the boy may try harder to fit in. If his parents are there, they will see (perhaps) how their child is not fitting in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remember that the young relative may outgrow this phase, particularly if he is fortunate to have good teachers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And if he doesn't, kids do grow in their own directions, and as they age they choose their own friends. In a few years, they will be negotiating their own play dates instead of playing with friends or relatives their parents organize for them. This problem is somewhat time-limited - hang in there!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2013-11-12T15:12:33.993" LastActivityDate="2013-11-12T15:12:33.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10387" CreationDate="2013-11-12T21:52:40.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can sympathize with you because my husband and I have had similar experiences. The boy in question in our family, though, has multiple sources of discipline and he knows how to work the system. My nephew lives with my parents, but spends time each with his mom and dad. Each different household has different rules and it use to take days before my mom could get him to listen to her again after being at one of his parents houses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His actions rub off on our son. We feel, though, that it punishes both children by keeping them apart. As they get older it has been getting better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give it time and just reinforce things in your hose. If they protest to your rules, then do what another poster said and meet in neutral territory. Do the best you can do with your own child. You do have to realize that once your child goes to school that you are not going to have control over what he learns from other children. You just need to teach him the difference between what is right and wrong in hopes that he can make the distinction by himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6052" LastActivityDate="2013-11-12T21:52:40.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9353" CreationDate="2013-11-12T22:04:06.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nephew resembles his mother and has no physical features from my brother. Seeing as his mother is not in anyone's good book, it can be distracting to see that person in his face. When he is misbehaving it makes me annoyed even more that he looks like his very annoying mother. Even with the resemblance, he is a super loved little boy because love triumphs prejudices. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have red hair, but both of my boys were born with dark brown hair. People (family, friends, and strangers) feel the need to ask why they don't have red hair...or comment on how they think my youngest's hair is turning red. My husband has dark brown hair, so it annoys me when they say these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6052" LastActivityDate="2013-11-12T22:04:06.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9265" CreationDate="2013-11-12T22:28:31.257" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little guy (baby #2) is about 6 weeks old. What you have listed are qualities of a normal newborn. Babies like to be warm...so not naked. They are also used to the womb. This means warm, noisy, and cramped. When your baby lays on your chest, he can hear your heartbeat, a sound he was used to hearing in the womb. Swaddling works for some babies (my son decided after a couple weeks that he will scream if we swaddle his arms, bit still loves his legs tucked up and swaddled). We also use a womb bear. It is a stuffed bear that makes the wooshing sound of the womb. This provides some white noise for him. Babies also go through breathing stages. Sometimes it will be fast and shallow, sometimes deep and slow, and sometimes they'll have a brief pause. All normal. We learned this with our first one when he was in the nicu hooked up to all those monitors. We asked the nurse about the breathing patterns and she told us that it was normal. As to how much he is eating, it sounds about right. That is right around 2 oz and that is normal for a baby 2 weeks old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6052" LastActivityDate="2013-11-12T22:28:31.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10387" CreationDate="2013-11-13T03:27:18.010" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Boy can I empathize!  We have a very difficult situation with my in-laws in general and have run into this very problem in various incarnations ourselves.  I see your question as truly being three-fold in terms of the issues you need to deal with here: How do we keep the peace?  How do we go about confronting them without needing to cut all ties and how do we help our son sort it all out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;How do we keep the peace, or do we give up and cut ties with these family members?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ways to delay or avoid as much confrontation as possible:  The other answers here all really seem to focus on answering this one.  There are some great ideas and considerations here.  However, the idea that any of the listed solutions will help you avoidconfrontation altogether are probably simplistic.  Since I believe that at some point the extended family members are likely to see through it, I have given some ideas about how to manage the confrontation when it does occur.  Really, having the family see through these methods might be a good opening for a &quot;soft&quot; confrontation that will help improve things for everyone.  With the holidays fast approaching - the issue might come up faster than you think.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;While I don't suggest cutting ties&lt;/strong&gt; I don't think it is a good idea to just hide from confrontation when it is needed either. Avoiding confrontation at all costs, sets an example for your son that doesn't demonstrate how to stand up for yourself in a positive way.  Plus, getting kicked out of preschool is a pretty big deal - I'd imagine some of these behaviors can be a bit physical at times - your kid needs to know you've got his back.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I do suggest avoiding confrontation to a point. You don't want to host some sort of intervention meeting either.  Any confrontation that arises, is likely to be best received if it arises naturally out of an unplanned situation.  I recommend strongly, sitting down with your wife and really making sure the two of you are on the same page about where you want to draw the line about what can be let go of and what   will result in direct, but careful confrontation.  This way you avoid uneccessary confrontations, but are also not in danger of sending mixed messages either.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If confrontation is required or inevitable, how can we go about it as gracefully and lovingly as possible and avoid cutting ties altogether?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be Sensitive&lt;/strong&gt;.  This probably goes without saying, but just in case: You are family, so, if this young man is simply going through a passing phase (which, believe or not, does happen) no worries.  If not, and confrontation is required, it is important to be loving and as non-judgemental as possible.  These parents, while overly - doting and indulging, are probably doing the best they can.  There is a long list of reasons parents over-indulge from making up for the fact they are always at work, to laziness and just bribing/consoling to keep the peace, to trying to make a kid feel okay despite difficult differences (handicaps, emotional disabilities, etc. . . )  Things are bad enough he was kicked out of a preschool - his parents are aware there is a problem, they are probably lost, overwhelmed and possibly in semi-denial as a coping mechanism.  You were asked how you keep him in line at one point.  That is a good sign this isn't going on because they are clueless.  Deep down they think things need to be different too.  That is a good sign that things &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; get &lt;strong&gt;better&lt;/strong&gt; with enough time and sensitivity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There are ways to confront in the moment that are just about expressing limits and expectations&lt;/strong&gt;.  I'll just offer an example of this one.  On neutral ground - or even   at their house, a calm and collected, &quot;Excuse me, (name) I am disturbed by the fact that you just hit your cousin.  If my son did that to you the consequence would be &lt;strong&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt;, (parent's name) what are the consequences of such behavior at your house?&quot; Is a perfectly reasonable response that confronts the parents by communicating you expect a response that includes discipline, but respectfully leaves the specifics up to the parents (while also offering up an idea if they want to take it).  On the other hand, at your own house, &quot;Excuse me nephew, when _ happens at my house, the consequence is _  .&quot;  When the parent argues with you or swoops in to rescue their son, a response something like, &quot;Well, when _ happens at my house, the consequence is _.  My house, my rules.  If you won't help me uphold these basic standards in my home, I'm going to have to ask you to leave for now and we can speak about it again another time.&quot;  Then, if they do leave rather than exerting some form of discipline, make sure you tell the nephew you love him very much and hope he'll follow the rules next time he comes - having play time cut short like that &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; be a negative consequence for him and frees you up to do what you need to do to help sort things out with your own son.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try not to get emotional about it.  This is your kid, a kid you care about deeply, family and parenting - all things that easily get emotional.  However, the less emotion you show or put into it, the more likely it is to be recieved.  Demonstrate empathy, talk about how you care deeply about the well being of both boys, but try really hard to remain somewhat emotionally detached from the issue itself when discussing it - trust me, it just works better (experience speaking here!!)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use I language:  I suggest if you choose not to go to their home, or only meet on&#xA;neutral territory from here on forward, be honest when you are asked why.  &lt;strong&gt;Just use &quot;I&quot; language&lt;/strong&gt; when you are.  For example, &quot;It has been very hard for us to be at your place because our rules are so different and our son finds it confusing, while we find it worrisome that x is allowed to happen without consequence.&quot; (or whatever works   for you but that makes it &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; problem and not neccessarily theirs)  They can read between the lines, but you aren't being accusatory.  You are only doing what you need to do to do what is right for your family and requiring nothing of them beyond asking them to respect the boundaries you feel necessary for your family to function.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;How do we help our son sort all of this out too?&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This part is, perhaps the most important part in the end.  Life isn't fair and your child might just have to learn that a little earlier than most kids.  That's okay and in some ways might even give your son a leg up when it comes to conflict resolution and coping skills as he gets older - it certainly has for our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When discussing discrepencies that &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; arise with your son, try to speak about why you make the discipline decisions you make positively.  Do away with as much judgement of the others as you possibly can.  You can get the idea across without being directly disparaging - For example, when my daughter was asking about her cousin's treatment of toys and why stuff they break gets replaced while stuff she breaks doesn't,(they break things - a LOT, and often it is not an accident) my answer was, &quot;I want you to know how to care for the things you have so you don't live in a way that means you have to buy things lots of times and waste your money that way in the future.  If you break something because you weren't being careful or because you broke it on purpose you don't get a replacement so that you will learn that not all things can easily be fixed or replaced.&quot;  Notice, the answer is about what her Dad and I want for her, and not at all about her cousins or their parents.  Now, she is a smart kid and realizes the implication is that her cousin's parents aren't teaching them the lesson she is getting.  Her response was, why don't aunt &lt;strong&gt;_ and uncle _&lt;/strong&gt; want my cousins to know that?&quot;  My answer, It just isn't one of their priorities apparently honey.  I don't know, I only know what I am trying to teach you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is also important to teach your son how to speak up for himself.  We taught our daughter the same kind of &quot;I Language&quot; I mentioned earlier.  For example, we taught our daughter that she could say, &quot;I don't like it when you . . . please stop.&quot;  and &quot;I don't like that game, lets &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt; instead.&quot;  We also taught her that she was well within her rights to say, &quot;No&quot; to anything (including hugs, . . . )   AND there is no shame in asking for help if she needs it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We invited our daughter to blame us if she needed to.  For example,&#xA;when she didn't want her cousins in her room, we instated a household&#xA;rule that bedrooms are not for play-time.  Playing was to happen in a&#xA;room where there was an adult present (really not a bad rule for a&#xA;lot of reasons when there is questionable behavior involved).  She&#xA;simply had to say, &quot;I know, it stinks, but house rules and I have to&#xA;follow them. . . &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As you are probably already doing, maintain the same consequences for your son you always do where-ever you are.  If he argues, but _ doesn't have to do it.  Tell it like it is.  &quot;That is true.  _ doesn't have the same expectations you do.  Doesn't change anything though.  You know what we expect.&quot;  No more needs to be said.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Finally, some reassurance&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been consistent in our honesty, use of &quot;I&quot; messages, and seeking of a balanced approach between letting certain things lay while standing our ground on others for a few years now.  Between the kids getting a little older (and calming a little) and our efforts to be supportively respectful of the parents of our nieces and nephews we have actually seen some progress.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, they are seeing how polite and well-mannered ours is.  We can go out to restaurants without total chaos etc.  The Mom has even come to me for advice regarding a couple of things her oldest daughter has gotten into at this point.  Like you, the first time didn't really seem to have any results, but every time the see a positive interaction between you and their kid, you and your kids, or talk to you about discipline and how you go about it, you are planting seeds - Not all seeds grow, but some of them, eventually will.  You just have to give it time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also feel that our duaghter is learning valuable lessons about how to look for win-wins and how to hold her own without being judgemental and things are looking up.  Slow and steady does win the race - at least at this point it seems to be - so take heart, and good luck.  I hope between my answer and the others already posted, you find the right balance of ideas for you and the specifics of your situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-13T21:31:49.373" LastActivityDate="2013-11-13T21:31:49.373" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10387" CreationDate="2013-11-13T04:00:42.123" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;These are all great answers. Thank you everyone.&#xA;My wife and I discussed this in great detail and came up with the following options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cut all ties - (Not particularly feasible as there is a lot of&#xA;family in the area.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Half cut - Only attend the required events,&#xA;major holidays and birthdays. Also not feasible for us. (These&#xA;relatives live 2 miles away as the crow flies.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Confrontation - Confront the parents and encourage them to do something. (We are pretty sure this will make for a very unpleasant holiday season).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Immersion - Bring the child in question into our home more often and&#xA;allow him to learn consequences. (We love this idea but don't feel&#xA;the boy's mother will go for it. She is a big time coddler. Part of&#xA;the issue actually.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Passive Observation - Basically, keep doing&#xA;things as is. Except, our kids are not to be left alone with this&#xA;boy. There should always be supervision so we can intervene before&#xA;things get out of hand. And boy they have gotten out of hand! If the&#xA;boy gets out of hand, tell his parents. If he's alone at our house,&#xA;then we can do what is necessary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for anybody coming across this post in the future. I hope this aggregate helps. All the people who responded had such great ideas. I have purposefully kept this generic as we don't need to get lost in the details.&#xA;Good luck all!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6042" LastActivityDate="2013-11-13T04:00:42.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9304" CreationDate="2013-11-13T12:29:09.610" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with everyone who has posted on here. Growing up, my math teachers only cared to finish the syllabus and not really see if anyone understood anything - as long as they felt like their job was done. It's very hard to get kids to think that Math is worthwhile. What I do is have a blend of activities to keep their attention. Have some roleplaying where they keep an imaginary store and have to sell items. This will get them crunching numbers. Assign some online gaming time. There are plenty of Cool Math Games for Kids online. I use the one linked here but there are so many you can research. The third thing to do is to download worksheets, they are a great way to keep the child learning and engaged at the same time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6054" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T12:12:02.447" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T12:12:02.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10401" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10416" CreationDate="2013-11-13T18:21:48.790" Score="5" ViewCount="391" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-year-old son has been having trouble with not be able to &quot;see the forest because of the trees.&quot;  He gets caught up in insignificant details and fails to learn the main point.  For example, last night we showed him a 42-second Bible story video.  Afterward, he was able to tell us five or six details from the video, including a couple of word-for-word quotes, except for the main point that the angel Gabriel told Mary she would be the mother of Jesus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a name for this kind of learning difficulty?  Are there techniques to teach to help him overcome it?  He gets plenty of practice, but when he concentrates more, he just remembers more trivia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-01T12:19:36.077" LastActivityDate="2019-04-01T12:19:36.077" Title="How to teach a child to &quot;see the forest&quot;?" Tags="|primary-schooler|development|teaching|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4367" CreationDate="2013-11-13T18:41:04.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;During my first few days becoming a father, I was told the following 2 nuggets of information by a number of different healthcare professionals (mostly nurses/midwives).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You shouldn't wash a newborn baby with anything other than water for the first ten days.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The best solution for dry skin on newborns is oil, but you should try to avoid Johnson's baby oil in the early stages. Also instead of using Olive Oil as is often recommended, you should use high quality Sunflower oil (according to a recent study that the nurses kept mentioning). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4877" LastEditorUserId="4877" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T00:58:10.730" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T00:58:10.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10403" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10404" CreationDate="2013-11-13T18:44:55.053" Score="14" ViewCount="19892" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 3 days in to parenthood and every time I change my son he makes heart-wrenching screams that go through my skull.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have deduced that it is due to being cold; it's Winter here and really starting to get nippy. Even so, it is 21°c+ in the room but he still gets incredibly cold and therefore unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know he's cold because he shivers sometimes during, and often after nappy changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are there any ways to keep him warm during the nappy change?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are there any materials that won't be so cold and uncomfortable for him, that are used to make nappy changers?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been trying to keep his clothes on and only take off the bottom part, but sometimes things get messy and I have to redress him in new clothes. I also just tried leaving the nappy changer on the radiator which he seemed to like a little more - but still ended up shivering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4877" LastActivityDate="2018-02-24T01:20:46.290" Title="How can I keep my newborn baby warm during nappy change?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10403" CreationDate="2013-11-13T19:06:09.253" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could always put a nice thick blanket in a dryer, test the heat level, and place it at the base of the changing table to keep his back side warm. If you have a changing table they typically have a cover but make sure its 100% cotton and you could warm that up.  You can also buy some pads like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.target.com/p/munchkin-waterproof-changing-pad-liners-3-pack/-/A-14323622#prodSlot=medium_1_1&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;these&lt;/a&gt; that are pure cotton.  When also changing you could take some adult long socks and use them on his legs that will allow for his legs to stay warm while changing the diaper.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4556" LastActivityDate="2013-11-13T19:06:09.253" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10403" CreationDate="2013-11-13T20:53:23.587" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might consider keeping the baby's room warmer&amp;mdash;around 24 or 25.  Infants have a lot more difficulty regulating their temperature compared to adults.  Aside from that, you can make sure your hands are warm.  We also used a &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B001R95J2W&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wipe warmer&lt;/a&gt; for one of our more sensitive babies, and she really liked it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll soon get faster at changing him, and it won't be as big of a deal.  Try to have everything you need at hand before undressing him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-11-13T20:53:23.587" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10401" CreationDate="2013-11-13T21:12:56.670" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds like a normal six year old.  Certainly I'd expect the same from my daughter and her peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age it's quite a big task for them to follow a story, dialogue and images in enough detail to be able to recall them afterwards.  That's partly why they can quite happily watch the same TV programme/film repeatedly, it takes them a few repeats to get familiar with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have the benefit of knowing the story and what is important about it beforehand to you because you've learned it and because you've learned angels are special.  Kids get books, films and cartoons with some strange content and they take it all at face value.  It's not unreasonable to expect that to him the idea of angels is a normal occurrence (especially given the religious nature of the content on the site linked) so it would not be guaranteed to be immediately memorable or that far out of the ordinary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2013-11-13T21:12:56.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10407" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10409" CreationDate="2013-11-14T02:31:14.893" Score="9" ViewCount="11509" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my 13 year old son decides he doesn't want to go to school, it's difficult issue to negotiate, as I cannot &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; him to go to school. By this I mean, he is not a toddler and cannot be picked up and taken there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like natural consequences when disciplining my children, but in this case, it's difficult, as if he later fails a test because he has missed something, and I point this out, he shrugs it off. So a quicker consequence is being banned from his extra-curricular activities, but some of these are beneficial to his well being. For me it becomes a cyclic dilemma of how to best manage truancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope I have explained myself well enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering what some natural consequences could be, if he refuses to go to school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2017-03-19T22:09:58.647" Title="How can I deal with my son's refusal to go to school?" Tags="|discipline|school|teen|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10407" CreationDate="2013-11-14T04:53:12.550" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me an answer to this would involve sitting down and doing an inventory of all of the incentives that you have -- all the possible carrots and all the possible sticks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stick side:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- taking away an ipod or an ipad&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- taking away extracurricular activities as you mentioned (I have to say, he might lose some value from this in the short term, but keeping his butt in school would probably outweigh that)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- taking away a holiday, gift, allowance, visit... what are the things that make your son happy but are not his &quot;right&quot;?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and on the carrot side:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- Tell him in advance about a trip you can go on this summer... visiting a friend etc...&#xA;-- Tell him you miiiight get an electronic XYZ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;etc etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An inventory of all those incentives would give a bit of an arsenal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1134" LastActivityDate="2013-11-14T04:53:12.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10407" CreationDate="2013-11-14T13:57:37.803" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;If this is a new thing, I would start with trying to understand why. Refusing to go to school is not like deciding not to eat your carrots. It's a huge change in the daily routine. And what's more, it's not something he's doing sneakily, like setting off for school but not arriving and spending the day larking about, he's telling you he won't go. That's important information. Possible reasons include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he is a nasty controlling brat who wants to tell you he's in charge and only a power struggle will make him obey (I think this is the least likely but I put it first because you are looking for ways to force him which suggests this is the reason you think is most likely)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;something horrible is happening at school and he doesn't know how to tell you about it (bullying by other students, harassment by a teacher, blackmailing by a girl he dated, people accusing him of being different in some way such as being gay... it's hard being 13)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he is getting bad marks or not understanding the material and is frustrated and upset&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he has options outside of school that appeal to him more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he doesn't think about long term consequences, only short term things like being tired and not wanting to get up now&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a few days, stop trying to make him go to school and work on finding out why he doesn't want to go. Contact the school and tell them what you're doing. If your work allows for it, have him come to work with you. This will give you three things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he won't be able to do whatever might be more appealing, including sleeping, watching tv, being online or hanging with a bad crowd. You can think of coming to your boring workplace as a logical consequence of truancy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you will get a chance to talk about what is on his mind and what is going on at school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you will get a chance to (subtly!) show him where education will take him and lack of it will not&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the cause for his refusal to go, you will then do different things. But continuing to try to force him without understanding is unlikely to work. I don't think he's just an oppositional angry person who will no longer do anything you want him to, I think something else is up. Find out what.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-11-14T13:57:37.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10403" CreationDate="2013-11-14T16:53:26.067" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of German families (including mine!) use a kind of heat lamp called a Wickeltisch-Heizstrahler which translates to change table heater. I haven't experienced them outside of Germany, but it could help. They are available in models that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.de/Hartig-Helling-85966-Wickeltisch-Heizstrahler-Folienthermometer/dp/B007XK5L3Q&quot;&gt;can be bolted into the wall&lt;/a&gt; above the change table or are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.de/dp/B00378HYTW/&quot;&gt;attached to a stand&lt;/a&gt; that would go near it. They provide a nice warmth that's not too hot or harsh. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3356" LastActivityDate="2013-11-14T16:53:26.067" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10412" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-14T17:58:06.410" Score="1" ViewCount="1598" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 8 days old right now. Depending on to whom we speak (doctors and nurses and friends) there are various opinions as to when to go for a first walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long should we wait before we take our child outside?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS. can't create tag yet. Add &quot;stroll&quot; or &quot;walk&quot; please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2013-11-14T18:39:52.947" LastActivityDate="2013-11-14T19:18:56.867" Title="How long should we wait to go for the first stroll" Tags="|newborn|walking|stroller|first-time|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2013-11-14T19:54:16.673" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10407" CreationDate="2013-11-14T18:10:20.437" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes natural consequences are too long term.  In those situations, I consider a parent's job to be converting long term consequences into short term ones.  The long term natural consequence of not being educated is a diminished earning capacity.  If you want the short term consequences to match, reducing the amount of money you spend on him is a good start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I agree with Chrys that you need to find the underlying reasons.  Try to figure out ways to make school more relevant to him, or to make up for the school's deficiencies.  If he's not getting enough time to socialize with his friends, see if you can rearrange his classes, or agree to host his friends at your house as long as he attends school.  If he is bored in class, get him put into more advanced classes, or teach him ways to deal with it.  I used to read or do homework from other subjects when lectures became boring.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is struggling to keep up, see if you can transfer him to a more appropriate subject, or do some tutoring.  If he is getting bullied, there are ways to deal with that.  If the kinds of subjects he's interested aren't offered, or are very limited, try to find extracurricular ways to help him get experience with those topics.  If he likes art, for example, get him art supplies as rewards for school attendance.  I realize it's not for everyone, but my son not fitting very well with school is a major reason we homeschool him now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not everyone fits the school mold.  Figure out how to make it worth his while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-11-14T18:10:20.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10412" CreationDate="2013-11-14T19:18:56.867" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on where you are planning to go and how many people you will come into contact with.  Our pediatrician wanted us to wait three weeks with our daughter (full-term) and two months with our son (preemie &amp;amp; in NICU for a few weeks), to allow their immune systems to develop sufficiently to be able to handle most of the germs they'll come into contact with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for a stroll around the neighborhood, with no interactions with other people anticipated, you could go out sooner.  For a visit to a family reunion, wait a while.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdata: we had to take our daughter at 3 days to get formula (poor planning on our part!) so we wrapped her up so she was basically a bundle, and zoomed in and out of the store.  No interactions with people wanting to touch and kiss and hold the newbie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-14T19:18:56.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10415" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10417" CreationDate="2013-11-14T20:27:10.070" Score="6" ViewCount="925" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 day old daughter has slept about 13 hours during last 24 hours. She eats a lot, poops often and properly (at least 7 times in 24h), is breast fed and there is enough milk for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that normal? Supposedly, newborns should sleep much more. Should I be worried?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T08:21:05.330" Title="Does my newborn sleep too little?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|night-time|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10401" CreationDate="2013-11-15T05:40:09.617" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like my 5 1/2 year old, too!  And I will echo James Snell in that it seems like it's a pretty normal 5/6 year old thing.  My son could watch the same episode of Octonauts or whatever a thousand times and pick up new stuff each time he watches it.  I can remember being 6ish years old and vividly remembering certain dialogue or scenes in a movie, only to watch the same movie YEARS later and realize how little I actually understood the overall plot of the movie.  At this age, it's really up to you to help him make those bigger connections and discuss them with him at a level that is appropriate for him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I remember about being a kid and what I've observed in other children, I really feel like the late 7's/8's is when kids start making some of those bigger connections on their own, and some of those connections you've been hammering into their heads really start to sink in and click.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://children.webmd.com/piaget-stages-of-development&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Piaget&lt;/a&gt; suggested that it was around this age (7ish or so) that kids reach their concrete operational stage.  They begin to demonstrate more logical, concrete reasoning and become less egocentric.  There's been some debate about Piaget's theories recently--especially in regards to cognitive development in the pre-teen/adolescent/early-adulthood years, but his theories are still a pretty decent starting point for child cognitive development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now, I wouldn't worry about him focusing on the details--especially when it comes to things like Bible stories.  Ultimately, he's going to hear those same stories a hundred times and every time he hears them he'll remember a little more and a little more.  When he gets to the age where he can grasp that bigger picture, he'll all ready know the story and the bigger meaning will (hopefully) have that much more meaning to him because of it.  For example, my son knows the Lord's Prayer and most of the Apostle's Creed.  He recites them with us in church every Sunday, but he has zero idea what it all means right now.  That's ok.  One day he will be able to understand all the complexities, but right now I just want him to get the words down.  It's harder to memorize stuff like that when you're 12 than it is when you're 4/5/6.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T05:40:09.617" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10415" CreationDate="2013-11-15T08:21:05.330" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think Chrys' comment is correct. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it takes a while for the baby to find and settle into her own personal rhythm, and there is lots of variation between babies. You're probably right that 13 hours per day is on the low side but that doesn't automatically make it something to worry over. Give it two more weeks and you'll see a sleep pattern. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try to introduce your own schedule, for instance do the sleep/feeding/diaper-change routine on a 3- or 4-hour basis regardless of whether she's crying for it or not. With luck, this could help her into an evenly spaced rhythm that you can plan into your days and nights with reasonable precision. Some kids accept a rhythm like that, some don't. Wait and see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T08:21:05.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10418" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-15T10:31:27.823" Score="40" ViewCount="7536" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a dad and I've unexpectedly found myself raising my son effectively alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm in an atypical single-parent situation, but more general single-dad advice would probably be better for other readers. My wife received a brain injury a couple of years ago, leaving her profoundly disabled and almost entirely unable to communicate. She lives with us and we're still very much in love, but she's mostly an immobile mute observer. She understands everything that is going on and though she can laugh along with us, she can't put together sentences complex enough to critique my parenting skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything I read about being a good dad relates to the roles that a father should fulfill (typically [traditionally] being the firmer hand of discipline, engaging in more rough-and-tumble, doing father/son projects, etc). These are all things I find myself doing naturally anyway, so I guess I'm a fairly stereotypical guy being a fairly stereotypical dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I feel less aware of what the traditional motherly roles are that my son is now missing out on. I'm sure I'm going to have to make a conscious effort to give him the things that his mum would more typically provide, to ensure he turns out as emotionally and socially well-rounded as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is an only child. He's 4 years old now. We effectively lost his mum when he was just turning 2 - I've muddled through the last couple of years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6063" LastEditorUserId="6063" LastEditDate="2013-11-21T11:40:27.590" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T12:56:55.243" Title="How can a dad be both a mother and father" Tags="|parents|social-development|single-parent|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10418" CreationDate="2013-11-15T12:32:48.887" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mothers do what fathers do: love their children unconditionally and raise them to be independent, happy contributing members of society.  My husband and I have different approaches towards the kids, but those are much more based on personality and background than gender.  We both love our kids to death and show them that every day, and we both try to teach them how to live in the world and help those around them in our own way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the reading you've done is focused on traditional gender-based roles of parenting, but as I'm sure you know, every family is different.  My parents were kinda reversed; my mom was the disciplinarian, while my dad was the cuddler.  They're still that way with their grandchildren today.  So it's not a gender thing, or even a two-parent thing: it's a personality thing, I believe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son may end up with a unique upbringing, but he knows that even if Mom can't communicate like she'd like to, she loves him. And he knows you love him, and that Mom and Dad love each other.  That is the basis for a secure childhood, IMHO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your wife can't really communicate her feelings about child-rearing, try to do things from time to time as you believe she would have, especially if it might be counter to how you'd do things.  If you might be tempted to cuddle him when he gets a bump on his knee, while she might distract him by making him giggle, try that.  It'll give you a different perspective on rearing him while hopefully letting your wife know that her perspective and priorities as a parent are still vital to the family as a whole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T12:32:48.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10418" CreationDate="2013-11-15T13:25:06.907" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, just let me say, I know how devastating a brain tumor is because one of my childhood best friends has one.  It has been removed and she is still there but communication is difficult and she gets really frustrated and sad frequently.  It looks as though it is on the re-bound unfortunately too.  So, the communication abilities she has regained are likely to go completely if she lives through the next couple of years.  I know it is really hard and I feel for you.  I hope you are all seeking help and friendship in a support community for the frustrations particular to your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To Answer Your Question&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Stereotypically, the mothers provide the more nuturing side of the coin, the opportunity to practice how to treat a women later in life (chivalry and all that), while also doing the &quot;multi-tasking&quot; aspect of the parenting.  By that I mean, tracking everyone's schedules, organizing the parties and catering, checking up on every one's diets, sharing in the load of helping with homework, etc.  I think in general these days it isn't really about what moms usually do or what dad usually would do (my parents were both the opposite of their stereotypes naturally.  Mom was the disciplinarian while Dad was the nurturer/listener).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I see it, making sure a kid has both masculine and feminine influences is really about making sure they get a feminine and a masculine viewpoint when it comes to whatever challenges they face.  You know, another safe &quot;shoulder&quot; to turn to during those teen years.  Boys and their Dads tend to rub each-other the wrong way while Mom's and Daughters have trouble maintaining patience with one-another through adolescence.  Mom would normally provide support to dad while also be a calming and supportive peacemaker for the son.  Providing a calming influence over the household.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your wife can still do a lot of really good listening.  If she can communicate at all, she is providing some of that despite her ccondition.  Also more important than the &quot;stereotypes,&quot;  Are having somewhat contrasting views that help to keep each-other in balance.  Under the more standard reasons for single parenting, I'd recommend making sure there is an aunt or close female friend around that can provide that &quot;other&quot; view-point for your child to turn to.  Such a &quot;support&quot; might be good to have around, but for you, things are more complex.  So, I recommend more specifically having Mom's family around if possible.  I hope there is family around that is helping anyway.  Keep your child close to his mom and her closest relatives while doing exactly what Valkyrie suggests and you probably don't have much to worry about in terms of making sure your son gets what he generally would need from the typical &quot;mom&quot; role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-15T21:02:07.907" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T21:02:07.907" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10421" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-15T14:42:21.937" Score="13" ViewCount="1865" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three year old son has picked up some very concrete ideas of the differences between boys and girls.  Unfortunately, they're almost all based upon gender stereotypes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When asked what presents we might buy for a friend of his, a 2-and-a-half year old girl, he responded with &quot;we should buy her dolls, because she's a girl, and girls like dolls&quot;.  We've never seen this particular girl play with dolls, although the two of them have spent a fair amount of time at her house playing with her toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, my wife should get &quot;flowers, because girls like flowers&quot;, and they should be pink, because &quot;pink is mommy's favorite color&quot; (it isn't; my wife doesn't like pink at all, but according to my son, &quot;girls like pretty colors&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to tell where these stereotypes are coming from, but we're pretty sure it is either from one older boy at daycare, or television shows he watches at daycare, or a combination of the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want my son growing up to dislike certain things for no better reason than that he's a boy, and those things are &quot;for girls&quot;, but more importantly, I don't want him to make assumptions about what girls he interacts with like based solely upon their gender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried telling him that not all girls like pink, or dolls, or flowers, and that some boys like pink, or dolls, or flowers, and explained that my wife, in fact, does not like pink, but we met with a fair amount of resistance.  Now he agrees when we point that out, but I'm not sure if he understands, or is just agreeing because we kept insisting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What strategies can we use to combat these stereotypes so that my son doesn't make gross assumptions about what people like and don't like based upon their gender?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="24149" LastEditDate="2017-06-05T18:21:56.593" LastActivityDate="2017-06-12T07:18:21.107" Title="How can we counter cultural gender stereotypes?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|gender|gender-stereotypes|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10418" CreationDate="2013-11-15T15:23:12.467" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some (or even all) of these can be incredibly difficult to provide as a single dad but I would point out:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Hugs&lt;/strong&gt; - not the &lt;em&gt;love you dad - love you son&lt;/em&gt; kind of hug but the &lt;em&gt;sniff - thank you for helping me feel safe, warm and deeply loved&lt;/em&gt; kind of hugs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Not Dad&lt;/strong&gt; - someone who will sympathise with the child's frustration with the restrictions that Dad imposes but continues to support dad's decision in spite of all objections.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Different/Same sex&lt;/strong&gt; - I know this feels strange but a child's attitude towards same-sex and opposite-sex relationships are drastically influenced by their relationship with both of their parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Patience&lt;/strong&gt; - I know from personal experience (as an only dad for many years) that it is often very difficult to maintain the level of patience needed to ensure a child feels loved and needed at all times. Bringing up a family on your own - whatever your gender - stretches your capacity for patience to its breaking point.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not suggesting that dads cannot fulfil these roles - but some of them can be difficult and incredibly wearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3469" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T15:23:12.467" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10418" CreationDate="2013-11-15T16:37:25.443" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you compare two groups, the differences within one group are bigger than the differences between those groups. So there will be women who exhibit more typical male behaviour than you. In some situations you will exhibit more typical female behaviour than other women. Nothing wrong with that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be true, be honest to yourself, and don't want to be the mother. Make sure that other women are present in his life: aunts, school teachers, neighbours, etc. Show that you respect those women, and he will trust them and use them as role examples. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6065" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T16:37:25.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10418" CreationDate="2013-11-15T17:00:45.677" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 15 yr old daughter. My wife and I do not have stereotypical gender roles. We are both there for our daughter as parents. She'll go though a situation with me, seeking advice, and then go to her mother with the same story. At first, this struck me as odd, but then I understood, she needed to talk it out. Having two parents helps, but this is more about patience, to listen attentively, and make the child a priority. We both worked, but made sure that after we were home, it was family time, and after my daughter went to sleep, it was adult time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was important that she learn how to cook, not because she's a girl, but because it's a life skill. I am the cook. And now, she's pretty much 'launched' as a skilled cook as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I learned early on, the Woody Allen quote &quot;80% of success is just showing up.&quot; My wife and I started as over-achievers, trying to plan 'quality' time with our daughter. Many friends set us straight, all time with your family &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; quality time. Just be there, let him know that he's not a second choice, he's number one. But just like being good parents meant also having date night just us two, you need time to yourself or with friends. Don't give up your own life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you were asking about covering for what Mom might have given. And perhaps I really didn't answer that. But just the fact that you'd ask such a question means to me that you're such a caring parent, that you'll be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3706" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T17:00:45.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10421" CreationDate="2013-11-15T18:26:59.170" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Telling him is one thing, showing him is another.  He's very likely picking up this &quot;information&quot; from TV and other kids, but if he sees in his every day life that Mom likes the color green best, and Dad makes great bread, and his female cousin loves to play with cars and trucks, he'll figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We make a point of letting our kids see us do things that aren't gender-conforming, so they see that &quot;girls cook and boys fix things&quot; doesn't fit everywhere.  My daughter gets to help me repair household appliances and help her Dad clean the bathroom.  My son plays trucks with his sister, and dolls with the kids (male and female, but most of his class is male recently) at daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when we hear something like &quot;pink is a girl's color&quot; from one of them, we show them Dad's pink polo shirt.  When they say &quot;girls have long hair&quot; we point out that Mommy has a short pixie cut.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T18:26:59.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10426" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10428" CreationDate="2013-11-15T21:15:02.583" Score="16" ViewCount="86728" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned about the hygiene of my newborn daughter's private areas. After pooping there are rarely any poop globules located between labia, but it does sometimes happen. Moreover, the &quot;liquid&quot; poop also has a chance of getting there - and it sometimes does. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How firmly should I clean those areas? Just on the surface and delicately remove any globules, or widen the area with two fingers and clean the area around the opening of the vagina more thoroughly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-06-02T05:13:05.990" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T09:36:05.570" Title="How thoroughly should a newborn girls private areas be cleaned?" Tags="|infant|newborn|hygiene|bathing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10421" CreationDate="2013-11-15T21:16:56.770" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is actually fairly typical for kids around the time they start heading off to school (4 or 5 or so).  Your boy might be a little early on the uptake here, but that's okay.  Kids start noticing differences at this age.  First gender, then race.  I knew two kids in a fours classroom that had played together at preschool for two years that all of a sudden realized that each of them was from a different race.  The first to notice it suddenly said, &quot;Why are you brown?&quot; one day as though the other boy's skin color had just changed.  It is at least partially developmental and not something to be overly concerned about.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is fairly likely the TV and commercials in particular are playing a role, but it is also likely that he is noticing the girls at preschool are  more likely to go for the dolls while the boys head for the trucks (whether this happens because of parent stereotypes or because generally speaking we really are wired this way is still up for debate and countless studies have been done on that but it is how it works).  I suggest that in general, you live your lives as you always have, and just discuss these things as they arise.  &quot;Many girls &lt;strong&gt;Do&lt;/strong&gt; like pink, but not all of them.  Actually, Mommies favorite color is blue.&quot; Is a good example of one way to go.  Valkyrie gives a few good examples of this.  However, if he is noticing patterns, I'd be careful not to diminish that side of it (hence adding, &quot;many girls do. . .&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, make sure you have a couple of toys available to your son that are of interest to him, but also don't fit the gender stereotype all the time as well (Maybe one doll or something along those lines).  Also try to mix up which chores you each do once in awhile so he sees both mom and dad cook, help with laundry, dishes, mow the lawn etc.  That way you aren't perpetuating the limits within your household either.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-15T21:16:56.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10426" CreationDate="2013-11-15T21:36:46.543" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should check for feces between the labia and wipe any globules away as needed.  Infections can and will arise if stuff is allowed to sit there.  You can gently spread the labia to get a good look and make sure there isn't anything &quot;hiding&quot; in a fold.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soaps and other kinds of cleansers can also create problems so use a moistened cotton ball or swab instead of the wipe.  If I recall, baby pee while having mother's milk is pretty inoquous.  I remember wiping my baby on the outside for this along with a very gentle wipe between the labia, but not needing to be too concerned about being extremely thorough.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also important to wipe front to back, not back to front as the bacteria that further back can infect the ureter - when it is time for her to learn to wipe herself this will be important to teach her then too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to know about this is that you can expect things to look a little different for the first few days.  There is a white material that coats a baby's skin while in the womb called vernix.  Most of this comes off on its own before and during child birth, but the stuff in a girl's genitals often takes the longest to come off.  Leave it there because the skin will absorb it and it is a nice moistureizing protective layer in the mean-time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also expect her genitalia to be a little swollen and sometimes even see a tiny bit of blood in her diaper in those first days.  That is because she has been exposed to mom's hormones while she was still in the womb so it isn't anything to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The really nice thing to know about all of this is that you'll be in to see the pediatrician soon so if anything is amiss, the doctor can catch it and you'll be able to get confirmation that all is well if you have any haunting concerns.  Enjoy her!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a115/caring-for-your-babys-genitals&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a115/caring-for-your-babys-genitals&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-16T18:03:42.260" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T18:03:42.260" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10429" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10431" CreationDate="2013-11-16T02:37:57.740" Score="4" ViewCount="137" Body="&lt;p&gt;This little boy just won't stay put and rolls over onto his tummy within seconds of being laid down.  I'm sure you understand the consequences of this when I've just opened up a nice juicy poopy diaper but haven't quite pulled it away yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things I've tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;offering a toy I know he loves.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offering a new toy that is amazing and special just for diaper time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Using a projection mobile that engages him at other times.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making noises and goofy faces to distract him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The &quot;safety belt&quot; which really just means the mat moves with him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Simply pinning his hips down with my elbow and holding his legs up with the arm attached to that elbow while removing the diaper with the other arm/hand.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That last one is the working method at this point, but it seems - I don't know, physically harsh.  I'm has gentle as I can be, really providing a block more than putting any pressure on him, but I wondered if there were any methods out there I am missing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, just to be clear, he isn't in danger of rolling off the table as there is a lip on the table and he is sandwiched between myself and a wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thankfully, I know this too will pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-17T03:21:47.497" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T03:21:47.497" Title="Diapering a 7 month old that is almost ready to crawl" Tags="|infant|diaper|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10421" CreationDate="2013-11-16T03:43:53.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like Valkyrie's answer very much: show him counter-examples.  I also agree with balanced mama, that his having concrete ideas about the differences between boys and girls is  developmental.  I'd just add one more thing, looking at it from your son's point of view:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's noticed that girls and boys are different, and more importantly, that they are treated -- unless you're living in a very enlightened area! -- differently by the adults around them.   I'll bet someone recently and oh-so-helpfully told him what those differences &quot;are,&quot; and that this little bit of info seems to match what he sees around him, so he's incorporated it into his knowledge of the world.  Girls play with dolls, Bella at the daycare is a girl; Bella plays with dolls.  It holds up.  He may even have gone further and incorporated it into his knowledge of himself.   He is a boy; boys like trucks; he likes trucks.  Yay!  He has mastered the boy-girl difference.  It fits in with what he sees of the world, and his world behaves in a way he can predict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you are telling him that &quot;not all girls like pink, or dolls, or flowers, and that some boys like pink, or dolls, or flowers&quot; and insisting he accept that.  I bet he loves you very much and wants to believe what you are telling him, but you are contradicting what he has just learned of the world, and rejecting his newly learned categorizing skills, the ones that work!  And you not replacing them with anything!  No wonder he's resisting your insistance, and is probably more than a little confused.  Children at that age like a black-and-white world;  something either is a thing or it is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would suggest is you validate his reasoning and reinforce his sense of identity without reinforcing western cultural stereotypes.  Lots of girls do like to play with dolls, but not all, and some like to play with trucks as well.  Lots of boys like to play with trucks, but not all.  The people who make TV shows sometimes like to do it the easy way, so they show girls only doing things that most girls like, and boys only doing things that most boys like, because they don't want people who watch the show to be confused.  The problem is that sometimes the children watching TV shows haven't tried to play with both dolls and trucks and don't know how much fun both can be, so they think they only can play with the toys shown on the TV shows.  But real people like all sorts of different things, and we want to let our friends play with the types of toys they want to play with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my own child I would (and did) go further:  He is a boy because he has boy parts, just like other boys, and he will grow up to be a man like his father.  It doesn't matter whether he plays with dolls or trucks, he will always be a boy.  (I would not mention trans-gendered people to a three-year old.)  Girls are girls because they have girl parts, and will grow up to be women like his mother.  (You may want to add here that girls' and boys' parts are private, and it's rude to want to look at them.)  I recognize that not every parent wants to open this can of worms when their child is so young, but I think most kids (especially if they are around babies being changed) have already noticed these differences.  In a few years he will outgrow the need for a simple world where everything obeys rigid rules, and be open to the multitude of counter-examples you are showing him, but until then, if you base his boy-ness on his physical body, he may find it safe to play with &quot;girl&quot; toys, and to let girls play with &quot;boy&quot; toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing, if I may.  There are plenty of TV shows that do not show the sexes behaving according to strict gendered stereotypes.  (Caillou and Curious George spring to mind.)  If the daycare must have TV on, can you have any impact on what shows are shown?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T03:43:53.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10429" CreationDate="2013-11-16T04:32:21.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was the same.  The only thing that worked was offering a special toy that she only got when being diapered, so it retained its unique amazingness.  It had music and moving parts, and was unlike all her other toys.    Unfortunately it only worked for 6-7 weeks, and I never found another toy with the same level of awesomeness.  Then I was back to the all-out struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T04:32:21.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9000" CreationDate="2013-11-16T04:48:54.870" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know I'm catching this one late, however, there is a side to this that seems to be missing in the answers I see here.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this behavior is asolutely normal in a three year old, and Skippy is right that reasoning with a three year old has little chance of getting you very far, there are a few things you can say while doling out any chosen consequence for hitting or for throwing things.  &quot;I see you are angry&quot; or &quot;I see you are frustrated&quot; are two of the most important.  At this age, very few kids have a full ability to identify their feelings, let alone communicate them verbally so they go for the physical or crying etc.  By &quot;putting the words in their mouths&quot; you do two things: teach how to communicate their emotion in an appropriate way, and you let them know you understand.  As you move your child, to a safer location, I highly suggest saying, &quot;I see you are angry, but throwing things is not okay even when you are angry.&quot;  Then don't say anything else - it keeps it simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly though, &lt;strong&gt;only dealing with the symptom (the behavior itself) doesn't fully address the issue&lt;/strong&gt;.  While his behavior is normal - even expected to some degree - the problem also arises from the fact that your son is angry.  If this is new behavior and the baby is also new, I'd bet the two things are related.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;All three year olds&lt;/strong&gt; get frustrated and &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; three year olds have tantrums in some form or another.  Babies mean a lot of changes in your household and your son probably doesn't really understand why those changes have happened.  It is fairly common for three year old kids to be resentful of a new younger sibling because they had no say in the matter.  Developmentally, it is as if a baby dropped in and decided to stay and took over.  If you want to address this problem from all angles, you need to address this too(if you haven't already).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest getting some books about babies and being a big brother or sister you can read with your child, really making sure to make time for each of you to spend alone with your three year old, and giving your three year old some jobs to do (when he isn't angry) that make him feel like a big helper in caring for the baby.  These jobs can be as simple as, Its your job to hand daddy the bottle when a bottle is being prepared, or handing the diaper up during diaper changes.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/825/2876&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; might help with this part of your challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T04:48:54.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10421" CreationDate="2013-11-16T06:24:04.223" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think your son is stereotyping so much as he is learning to classify. He has noticed there is a difference between girls and boys, and he knows he's a boy and that his mother and some of his friends are girls, and in his mind he is trying to figure out what that means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than focusing on correcting his stereotypes, or trying to correct them with  ideas that suggest there are no differences between genders, you should try turning the discussion to ways that boys and girls ARE different:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Girls can grow up to be mommies and boys can grow up to be daddies.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Girls have vulvas and boys have penises.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When we go to McDonald's there is one bathroom for girls and one for boys. When boys are small they can go in the girls' bathroom if they are with their mom, because their mom is a girl. But usually boys go in the boys bathroom.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You're right, a lot of girls do like dolls. Since Karen is a girl, let's ask her if she likes dolls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You're right, a lot of girls like pink. Since Mom is a girl, let's ask her if she likes pink.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Is that person a girl or a boy? What makes you think that?&quot; (Son lists characteristics he observes). &quot;I think you're right. Usually it's boys who wear suits with ties. Plus he has whiskers!&quot; OR &quot;Hmm, yes girls usually wear longer hair than boys, but I'm not sure that is a girl. What else do you notice?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understanding finer differences will come at a later age. In fact, a 3-year-old will often find it humorous if you suggest someone is a boy that does not fit in with his brain's rule for what is a boy. I remember one of my kids coming home from pre-school at age 4 saying he wanted his friend Andrew to come to our house to play. I asked which Andrew (since there were 2 in his class), and he said, &quot;Andrew the girl!&quot; Of course, it was the Andrew with shoulder length curly hair instead of the Andrew with short hair like his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So not to worry! He's just practicing a new skill which is still a bit rough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T06:24:04.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9352" CreationDate="2013-11-16T07:22:56.607" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me you understand the general problem (you and your wife can't reconcile two different discipline styles), and that it may cause a problem for your children (but you don't know what form that may take), and the solution (stop giving mixed messages); but you're saying because of your wife's unreasonableness, you're giving up on the solution, and want to move on to mitigating the bad effects of the problem on your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I think that it's very forward-looking of you to try to do this, I agree with Dan Beale:  you and your wife can find a solution, you just need a little help to figure out how.  You feel that since you're willing to admit you are too relaxed about making your kids follow the rules you have set, she should respond by admitting it's sometimes okay to let some things slide a bit.  She will not, and this rigidity is preventing you from making the changes you know you need to make.  You want her to compromise, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Except, the way things are now, she probably can't.  Here's why I think that (and I admit I am making a fair number of assumptions here), and a suggestion on how to change this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say she is the main breadwinner, and her responsibilities have increased in the last months.  I am guessing she comes home at the end of a stressful day at work longing to spend some quality time with her kids.  I am also guessing she has what she perceives a very short time in which to interact with them before they must go to bed.  If she then finds out that you have slacked off the discipline during the day, and things aren't done that must be done (e.g., homework), or things were done that have yet to be cleaned up, and she must be the &quot;heavy&quot; for this little bit of time she has with them, and if it happens &lt;em&gt;every single night&lt;/em&gt;, she would have to be spitting mad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point it is not a difference in parenting styles to her; it is her missing out on her share of the &lt;em&gt;joy&lt;/em&gt; of being a mother because of your perceived laziness.  By the time she has fixed everything (from her point of view) and got them into bed, she probably is in no mood to concede that you might be right about anything, even that the sun will come up tomorrow.  (And advising someone to calm down is the best known way to make them even wilder, by the way.)  She probably can't see any of the good things you &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; accomplished with them, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion:  start by giving her the gift of quality time with the kids.  The next time she comes home, the house should be clean, the homework done, the supper ready, whatever.  Bring out some family game you can play, and all of you have fun.  After the kids are in bed you can talk.  Dan Beale has an excellent what/why list; I want to make three additional points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, any rule you are not enforcing is not a rule, but a suggestion.  (You may decide that making the beds could fall into this category.  Teaching a child to choose to have a clean room can be an art and a joy on its own.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, for things you do decide should be rules, natural consequences -- having the kids take the responsibility of their acts -- is a good start.  For some things it is even enough.  However, the natural consequence of &quot;not brushing your teeth at night&quot; should not be &quot;You'll get cavities!&quot;  A young child may not care about cavities, but it is still your responsiblity as a parent to take care of their teeth.  The more effective &quot;natural consequence&quot; would be, &quot;We don't have time to read a second book because I have to help you brush them.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, &quot;natural&quot; consequences don't always work.   While &quot;Next time I'd better do my homework!&quot; is the lesson some children would learn from getting a bad grade, for others the lesson would be, &quot;I got a bad grade but the world didn't end; failure is okay, too.&quot;  And that's a lesson you only want them to learn after you've forced them to learn how sweet -- and achievable -- success can be, by dint of hard work and persistence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So please don't jump yet to how to mitigate the effects of the mixed messages. The answer would certainly include telling them their parents are doing the best they can but they're not perfect, or finding a third person to be the steady rock they need; but why cede your parental authority any sooner than you have to?  Even if you have to go to counseling, the problem of how to get your wife to listen to you without feeling attacked (so that the two of you can come up with a single parenting strategy) might be a perfect opportunity to demonstrate your own hard work and persistence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2013-11-17T12:20:19.730" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T12:20:19.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6478" CreationDate="2013-11-16T15:38:43.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does your daughter like to read poems? I was just as you describe your daughter when I was that age; my mother also had to search for challenging-yet-appropriate reading material for me. Her most inspired idea was to introduce me to poetry. Poems are relatively short and easy to scan or pre-read for content but the language is vivid and the vocabulary tends to be more complex.  Imagery, metaphor, rhyme, etc., all contribute to a poem's ability to captivate a reader's imagination and attention for far longer than the time it takes to read. Reading poetry invites interpretation and reflection as well, both are useful skills that can enhance reading and thinking about all kinds of texts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T15:38:43.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10436" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10437" CreationDate="2013-11-16T20:00:36.393" Score="6" ViewCount="301" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our newborn (11 days) daughter sometimes - about once every three times - has trouble sleeping unless she is being hugged, cuddled or carried by me or my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried leaving her crying for 10 minutes, but after that time there was no sign of calming, so we took her to cuddle her to sleep eventually. She slept peacefully from then on for a few hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is: is such behavior of ours going to introduce bad habits later on, or are we allowed to do it for now, at least sometimes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the signs to watch for to avoid bad sleeping habits in the future?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T22:13:25.543" Title="Is carrying or cuddling a newborn a good way to soothe it in the long run?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10436" CreationDate="2013-11-16T20:51:42.207" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a newborn, no this is not a problem at all - it is perfectly normal. Your baby has spent the last few months held really tightly, so this new world is definitely a shock to the system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What many parents do is move to swaddling - with the arms tightly wrapped - to help baby sleep easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It actually sounds like your baby is doing quite well - many won't sleep for hours at this early stage. One of ours would manage 40 minute stints and then want his next feed - that phase lasted quite a while!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also have a read of the questions in the Related tab to the right or with the &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/sleep&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;sleep&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;sleep&lt;/a&gt; tag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T20:51:42.207" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10429" CreationDate="2013-11-16T21:18:16.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anyone who could come up with a reliable and consistent way to keep them from wriggling and keep their hands and feet out of poop could write a short book and make millions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to just keep changing what you do as you have been - use a technique for as long as it works then move onto a new thing.  After a while you can recycle and it's all new to them.  As well as toys etc, we've given ours a clean nappy while we deal with the stinky end, it has the benefit of them also holding it for you until you're ready to put it on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T21:18:16.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10418" CreationDate="2013-11-16T22:52:32.000" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a slightly different way of looking at life to many people and would like to offer you a secondary approach - not a replacement for any of the very good advice already given, but something to go with it all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very best way to look after your son is to actually &lt;strong&gt;look after yourself first.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me briefly explain. All of your words and actions will portray how you are feeling at any given moment.. be that happy/sad, positive/negative, etc. etc. How you are around your son will be teaching him how he should be himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is very easy to do when things are going well, not so easy when they are not - in those times, just try not to think of whatever it is that's bringing you down and try and find a better feeling thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son will feed off your positivity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as bringing him up correctly is concerned, just trust that he will find his way. Praise strongly the things he does well and ignore things when he doesn't. He will quickly learn that doing things right is rewarding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didnt want to write an essay in answer to your question and of course this is just an opinion anyway, but hopefully it will give you some food for thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want any of this expanded upon, let me know and will help the best I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6074" LastActivityDate="2013-11-16T22:52:32.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10429" CreationDate="2013-11-17T00:58:35.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as you're not actually causing him pain/injury, pinning him down with your arm/hand is by no means &quot;physically harsh.&quot; It's not really much different from swaddling or putting him in a baby wearing wrap. No, he can't move quite as much - that's the point. And really, there's a simple question you need to ask yourself - which is worse? A minute or so of discomfort being &quot;pinned&quot; down during changing time? Or getting busted up for rolling off of the changing surface and onto the floor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child is never too young to learn, and a baby will learn things you never thought they'd pick up on. And pretty soon, he'll start trying to assert his independence. Therefore, you have to be assertive, especially in routine things like diaper changes. Don't let him move to flip over. Move his around around (provided they're not going after the dirty diaper)? Sure. Flip over or kick? No. It's time to stop for &quot;potty time.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, to reinforce the difference between &quot;potty time&quot; and &quot;play time,&quot; when you're done, take him off of the changing table and play with him in a way that lets him wiggle and roll, even if you can only do so for a minute or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T00:58:35.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10441" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10443" CreationDate="2013-11-17T12:39:20.080" Score="14" ViewCount="102141" Body="&lt;p&gt;The bleeding from a newborn girl's vagina is completely normal, it happens due to hormones being absorbed by the baby while still in the womb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long can this bleeding last?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does it come and go, or does it occur only once for a period of time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today morning during diaper change of our 12 day old we have noticed some blood and mucus coming from her vagina, and of course have cleaned it. During next diaper change (2 hours later) there was even more blood - even more than during the first few days after her birth when she also bled. Should we be worried?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;My daughter is almost a year old now and we had no further problems. We've also then consulted with a pediatrician, she said it is rare (the blood appearing, disappearing and appearing again), but it happens. And unless there was a relatively large amount of blood (a major leak instead of a droplet) we sholdn't worry.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T07:56:06.040" LastActivityDate="2016-06-07T05:17:35.573" Title="How long can a newborn girl bleed from her vagina?" Tags="|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10442" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10445" CreationDate="2013-11-17T12:48:06.103" Score="4" ViewCount="3896" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nipples sometimes bleed, and some of that blood can be sucked by a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it harmful to the child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What effects can it have?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-27T13:17:07.940" LastActivityDate="2019-01-27T13:21:50.377" Title="Is blood from an injured nipple harmful to the child?" Tags="|newborn|safety|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10441" CreationDate="2013-11-17T13:33:05.027" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby Center says if you still see some after six weeks mention it to your doc at your post-natal check.  Even with real menstruation there can be a bit of an &quot;ebb and flow&quot; to it.  The fact that it wasn't there and then was probably doesn't mean anything.  In my experience it was only the first few days, but it probably greatly depends on how the birth occured/length of time etc.  If you see a lot of blood or if it is gone for more than a week or two and then comes back I'd mention it to doc though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a115/caring-for-your-babys-genitals&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a115/caring-for-your-babys-genitals&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-17T14:01:38.210" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T14:01:38.210" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7462" CreationDate="2013-11-17T13:52:45.197" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's the reason I upped Valkyrie's answer (for &quot;more conversation, please&quot;), when there were so many good ones:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter went through a several-month &quot;what would happen if...?&quot; stage before she entered her &quot;Why?&quot; stage.  (Silly me, I thought we were doing the first &lt;em&gt;instead&lt;/em&gt; of the second, but we ended up doing both.)  I was sort of enjoying both questions until I noticed she would ask the same question several times, and this would fairly drive me up the wall.  Finally (when she was 2-3, I don't remember, exactly)  I asked her in exasperation why she had asked me again the question she had asked me minutes earlier -- was she forgetting, not paying attention, or what?  She answered that she did remember, she just liked to hear me tell her the answer.  (Boy, did I feel like a wretch for my exasperation!)  So I asked her if she could please phrase the question that way:  &quot;Mommy, can you tell me again why...?&quot;  And she did, which made the questions much easier to re-answer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sort of...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Mommy, can you tell me again why they want to kill the old red rooster when she comes? Was he bad?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T13:52:45.197" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10442" CreationDate="2013-11-17T13:52:56.140" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In rare cases, if mom has certain types of inffectious diseases, this can be a problem because they can spread - but &lt;strong&gt;for most people not at all&lt;/strong&gt;.  In fact, it is completely normal for blood to be in the milk (especially with first-time moms) anyway (even with healthy nipples).  You just don't always see it because it is in such small amounts.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can make mom sore if the blood is there because of nipple cracking though, it can be painful for mom.  There is an art to breast-feeding so that mom doesn't have to experience much of things like cracked nipples and it takes a bit of learning but here are some things mom can do to help prevent both:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure baby's mouth is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/Latching-on.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;all the way on when latching&lt;/a&gt;.  To really get baby fully latched on, her mouth should be wide open and it will feel a bit like the breast is being shoved on her, but it helps her feed better too so don't be ginger about it.  Really press her head onto the breast when in the process of latching.  Now, if the baby seems to be having trouble breathing, you are probably pressing too hard, but most moms are too gentle about it.  Baby sucking on only the nipple will lead to cracked and painful nipples though.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a pillow or boppy to lift baby up so she is aligned with the breast properly.  If she is too low it creates extra strain on mom's nipples, breasts and back.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a moisturizer after pumping or nursing.  They make moisturizers specifically for this that are thick and will stay put even under nursing pads, but also be safe for baby, but chapsticks like you use on lips will work too in a pinch.  I really like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diapers.com/p/lansinoh-brand-lanolin-topical-treatment-1-41-oz-318612&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;lansinoh&lt;/a&gt; because it was easy to find, smooth and easy to put on and is mostly &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lanolin&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;lanolin&lt;/a&gt; and natural.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/breastfeeding-positions.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;right position&lt;/a&gt; for you &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; baby.  The standard nursing hold that is always pictured is not the only way.  I was surprised to learn how many different ways there are to hold baby while she is nursing.  To avoide putting lots of pressure on one specific spot, a different hold might work while a cracked nipple heals.  There were times when I found the football hold to be much more comfortable for me and still great for baby.  Switching hold style occasionally just for the sake of switching things up also empties things differently and more fully too (at least in my experience).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The book, &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;keywords=womanly%20art%20breastfeeding&amp;amp;tag=googhydr-20&amp;amp;index=aps&amp;amp;hvadid=35232236881&amp;amp;hvpos=1t3&amp;amp;hvexid=&amp;amp;hvnetw=s&amp;amp;hvrand=15862045451267220892&amp;amp;hvpone=&amp;amp;hvptwo=&amp;amp;hvqmt=b&amp;amp;hvdev=c&amp;amp;ref=pd_sl_5spp3wb9cj_b&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding&lt;/a&gt;&quot; was a wonderful resource for me that I have since passed on to my sister (who passed it on to another one of our sisters) so I can't go look anything up in it for you at the moment, but it was the book I referred to most in those first weeks with baby &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; for those first weeks back at work.  You might see if you can borrow it from a local library or friend if you don't want to buy it, but I really recommend your wife read through it - it will help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For further information online, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;keywords=womanly%20art%20breastfeeding&amp;amp;tag=googhydr-20&amp;amp;index=aps&amp;amp;hvadid=35232236881&amp;amp;hvpos=1t3&amp;amp;hvexid=&amp;amp;hvnetw=s&amp;amp;hvrand=15862045451267220892&amp;amp;hvpone=&amp;amp;hvptwo=&amp;amp;hvqmt=b&amp;amp;hvdev=c&amp;amp;ref=pd_sl_5spp3wb9cj_b&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; may be helpful to you as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are any further difficulties and you can hire a lactation consultant they can be super-helpful as well (our hospital provided one right after birth and for the first month free of charge so check if there is anything like that available to you as well).  If that isn't an option, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;La Leche League&lt;/a&gt; is &quot;womanned&quot; with wonderfully sweet, supportive and helpful moms that have been through it too.  They are &lt;strong&gt;fiercely&lt;/strong&gt; in support of breastfeeding and the right to breastfeed without shame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-27T13:21:50.377" LastActivityDate="2019-01-27T13:21:50.377" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10446" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10447" CreationDate="2013-11-17T18:50:09.923" Score="24" ViewCount="4520" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm writing this in the middle of the night, right after a bottle feed and a nappy change coupled with incessant wailing piercing through my ears. I've often tried to seek solace on the internet hoping that I'm not alone in this situation and that someone out there has some answers to offer or, at the very least, is able to say that I'm not alone in this trying times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter was delivered via c-section just over 3 weeks ago due to unforeseen birth complications that arose during labour. Upon seeing the amount of pain, discomfort and immobility my wife had to endure in the first few hours and days post-op, I offered to sleep on the couch with the cot by my side during the night so that I can tend to my daughter (change her nappies, bottle feed her and rock her back to sleep) without her jolting my wife up from sleep with her crying. I made it my goal to ensure that she had at least 6 - 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep before she gets up to breast feed at intervals in the day. My mother-in-law also chips in to help during the day so that my wife wouldn't have to move about too much. All I wanted for her was to have a speedier recovery so that we could look after our child to the best we can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3 weeks on, I endured with only an hour or 2 of sleep in the night before throttling off to work. I usually knock off around 5 - 6pm and get back home in less than an hour. I try to have my dinner as quickly as possible before starting my shift around 8pm by helping my wife to bathe and then tending to my baby. My mother in law is usually exhausted by then so she usually turns in early. The last breast feed my wife gives is at around 11 or 12 before she turns in and leaves everything else to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3 weeks in with the lack of sleep accumulating and work piling up, I'm beginning to feel increasingly frustrated that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Despite making such quick recovery and being able to move around without assistance (the Gynae has even remarked that she has recovered extremely well), my wife doesn't seem to be getting herself involved as much as I would like her to be. I'm still running the same night shifts and my mother in law is still doing the bulk of the work in the day. My wife does chip on a few rare occasions when neither of us are available, but that usually amounts up to 1 or 2 nappy changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) No one in the household seems to recognize that I still have a job to do in the day in order to pay for all my family's necessities. Not once has there ever been an offer to lighten my burden; somehow it has just become an expectation that I have to fulfill by default. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know how I can cope with this? I understand that it generally takes 6 weeks for c-sect mothers to fully recuperate but by the 2nd week or so, most are able to tend to basic things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does basic things constitute of just breast feeding or is there more that c-sect mothers can and should do 3 weeks in? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that fathers traditionally make up the half of parents that do not contribute enough or are unable to properly fulfill parental duties. The internet has no lack of advices on how mothers can &quot;deal&quot; with this. Is there something that fathers can do if they find themselves in a reversed situation like mine?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My night shifts are driving me nuts and it doesn't help that my daughter is showing signs of baby colic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can somebody point me in the right direction? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish I could mark all the responses I've gotten so far as an answer because every single one has so much truth in it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took the time to speak with my wife a little about my frustrations and limitations today. Although we haven't really gotten into the motion of working things out just yet, I certainly felt a lot better speaking and talking about it. I could tell that my wife appreciates the honesty as well. How things pan out at the end of the day remains to be seen, but I'm definitely a lot more optimistic than I was yesterday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A big thank you for all the support and advices that I have received thus far. I'll be accepting the first response as the answer not because it is any better or worse than the others but because I should at the very least mark this thread with an &quot;answered&quot;. I hope that I'm not stepping on any toes by doing so; please be assured that every single response I have gotten has really provided me with valuable insights and support. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6080" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T14:00:50.620" LastActivityDate="2014-09-06T19:12:47.243" Title="What can I do to get my wife to be more involved?" Tags="|newborn|working-parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10446" CreationDate="2013-11-17T19:27:44.910" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife, almost two weeks after a C-section, is able to do practically all work related to baby care. Only baths are left to me, and even then she does assist me. I'd like to think we do 50% of the work, but actually she probably does more. I am currently on a leave and soon I will go to work - and during the day she will have to take care of our baby on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does not seem like a physical problem. I'd say it's entirely psychological. And as with most psychological problems - you should try to talk it over. Try to learn what she feels, just let her talk - if she is willing. Listen carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is possible that she feels &quot;unnecessary&quot; - since you were handling the baby so well. I would try to ask her for help, even when you are perfectly capable of handling a situation on your own, so that she would feel more needed. That's just an idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Postpartum depression is a well documented and quite often happening illness. Consider seeking professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T14:04:49.857" LastActivityDate="2013-11-18T14:04:49.857" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10446" CreationDate="2013-11-17T21:15:28.207" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly it's still early days after the c-section. Childbirth is a natural process and no one I would regard as physically traumatic, but a c-section (as a surgical procedure) is physically traumatic to the body. I, have not had a c-section, but have always thought society is a little unmerciful towards it's expectations upon women after c-sections. It's a reasonably extensive surgical procedure. Cutting through skin layers, skeletal muscle and the uterus. The doctor may say that your wife is doing well, which is good, it doesn't detract in any way from the trauma her body had been through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, you cannot continue in a sleep deprived manner like this, and working and you are going to have to discuss this with your wife. You may be able to start by sharing the night shifts, alternating nights. If any discussion is not helpful, that is when you may need to talk to your mother in law (as she may not be aware of how sleep deprived you are) and investigate the possibility of post-natal depression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last thing is, this all sounds within the realm of normal and usual for having a new born in the house. Sleep deprivation is common. Whilst you are negotiating with your wife, nap whenever you can, especially on the weekends. Try not to rush your dinner. It's fabulous that you are being such an involved father, but remember to look after yourself along the way, as parents need to take care of themselves to be able to take care of their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, it makes sense that when one person needs to work, the other parent generally takes the night shift, as they can nap during the day, when the baby sleeps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T21:15:28.207" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10449" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-17T21:33:48.530" Score="7" ViewCount="2352" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 1.5 years old. I am no longer with his dad but he is an active part of my son's life and I would like his dad to help parent him half of the time and he has agreed to do so (keep him Mon-Sun every other week). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am just worried it would not be beneficial for my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6081" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-12-01T08:26:03.780" LastActivityDate="2017-01-02T17:48:59.617" Title="Sharing parenting/custody duties with an ex-partner" Tags="|parents|working-parents|custody|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10450" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-17T21:45:32.623" Score="3" ViewCount="112" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting chapped and cracked nipples can be a problem for lactating moms.  Sometimes it may be somewhat inevitable, but what are some of the things one can do to avoid the problem in the first place?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-02-22T13:40:37.650" LastActivityDate="2019-02-22T13:40:37.650" Title="How do I avoid cracked nipples?" Tags="|infant|health|breastfeeding|mother|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10450" CreationDate="2013-11-17T21:47:43.303" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is an art to breast-feeding and it takes a bit of learning but here are some things mom can do to help prevent challenges along the way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure baby's mouth is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/Latching-on.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;all the way on when latching&lt;/a&gt;.  To really get baby fully latched on, her mouth should be wide open and it will feel a bit like the breast is being shoved on her, but it helps her feed better to so don't be ginger about it.  Really press her head onto the breast when in the process of latching.  Now, if the baby seems to be having trouble breathing, you are probably pressing too hard, but most moms are too gentle about it.  Baby sucking on only the nipple will lead to cracked and painful nipples though.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a pillow or boppy to lift baby up so she is alligned with the breast properly.  If she is too low it creates extra strain on mom's nipples, breasts and back.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a moisturizer after pumping or nursing.  They make moisturizers specifically for this that are thick and will stay put even under nursing pads, but also be safe for baby, but chapsticks like you use on lips will work too in a pinch.  I really like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.diapers.com/p/lansinoh-brand-lanolin-topical-treatment-1-41-oz-318612&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;lansinoh&lt;/a&gt; because it was easy to find, smooth and easy to put on and is mostly &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lanolin&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;lanolin&lt;/a&gt; and natural.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/breastfeeding-positions.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;right position&lt;/a&gt; for you &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; baby.  The standard nursing hold that is always pictured is not the only way.  I was surprised to learn how many different ways there are to hold baby while she is nursing.  To avoide putting lots of pressure on one specific spot, a different hold might work while a cracked nipple heals.  There were times when I found the football hold to be much more comfortable for me and still great for baby.  Switching hold style occasionally just for the sake of switching things up also empties things differently and more fully too (at least in my experience).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The book, &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;keywords=womanly%20art%20breastfeeding&amp;amp;tag=googhydr-20&amp;amp;index=aps&amp;amp;hvadid=35232236881&amp;amp;hvpos=1t3&amp;amp;hvexid=&amp;amp;hvnetw=s&amp;amp;hvrand=15862045451267220892&amp;amp;hvpone=&amp;amp;hvptwo=&amp;amp;hvqmt=b&amp;amp;hvdev=c&amp;amp;ref=pd_sl_5spp3wb9cj_b&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding&lt;/a&gt;&quot; was a wonderful resource for me that I have since passed on to my sister (who passed it on to another one of our sisters) so I can't go look anything up in it for you at the moment, but it was the book I referred to most in those first weeks with baby &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; for those first weeks back at work.  You might see if you can borrow it from a local library or friend if you don't want to buy it, but I realy recommend your wife read through it - it will help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For further information online, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;keywords=womanly%20art%20breastfeeding&amp;amp;tag=googhydr-20&amp;amp;index=aps&amp;amp;hvadid=35232236881&amp;amp;hvpos=1t3&amp;amp;hvexid=&amp;amp;hvnetw=s&amp;amp;hvrand=15862045451267220892&amp;amp;hvpone=&amp;amp;hvptwo=&amp;amp;hvqmt=b&amp;amp;hvdev=c&amp;amp;ref=pd_sl_5spp3wb9cj_b&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; may be helpful to you as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are any further difficulties and you can hire a lactation consultant they can be super-helpful as well (our hospital provided one right after birth and for the first month free of charge so check if there is anything like that available to you as well).  If that isn't an option, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;La Leche League&lt;/a&gt; is &quot;womanned&quot; with wonderfully sweet, supportive and helpful moms that have been through it too.  They are &lt;strong&gt;fiercely&lt;/strong&gt; in support of breastfeeding and the right to breastfeed without shame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T21:47:43.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10452" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10454" CreationDate="2013-11-17T21:49:13.997" Score="4" ViewCount="1116" Body="&lt;p&gt;While nursing, cracked nipples can be excrutiatinly painful.  What does a mom do to help alleviate the pain while her nipples heal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T00:11:37.457" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T17:21:44.023" Title="Once a mom has developed a cracked or chapped nipple, is there anything she can do to lessen the pain?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10453" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10455" CreationDate="2013-11-17T21:51:50.620" Score="2" ViewCount="58" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mastitis is an infection that can develop in the breasts during the months while a mother lactates.  Once one has mastitis, it can interfere with breastfeeding because it becomes painful to feed the baby (although the doctor I had recommended I try to nurse as much as I could because it would help to drain the infection).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What might a mom do to help make this part of getting well again and still caring for baby a little more comfortable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-17T21:58:42.750" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T22:09:36.437" Title="What does one do to alleviate the discomfort of mastitis?" Tags="|infant|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10452" CreationDate="2013-11-17T22:04:13.010" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A simple neat trick is to use teething gel on the nipples when feeding, it numbs the nipples and will not harm the baby. This worked successfully for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paw paw ointment is also great for healing cracked skin, it is non-toxic, but I would apply it after feeding, not before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid soap on the nipples, as this can dry the skin out. Pat dry, no hard rubbing after showering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Carefully place some nursing breast pads in a comfortable maternity bra. Now is not the time to go braless, as the rubbing of nipple against clothing, can be painful. By securing the breasts, without being constrictive, the nipples are less likely to rub.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another trick is to rub a bit of breast milk on the nipple and allow it to dry, I tried this, but honestly cannot say whether it is helpful, it certainly is not harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T22:04:13.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10453" CreationDate="2013-11-17T22:09:36.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something often recommended is the leaves of a Savoy cabbage placed inside the bra.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the cabbage is in the fridge the leaves provide a &quot;nice cooling sensation&quot;.  Some people say that there are enzymes in the cabbage that help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may prefer a hot poultice, in which case you can blanche the leaves in boiling water.  Obviously care needs to be taken!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not aware of any decent trials to show that cabbage actually works.  Here's a paywalled article in New Scientist.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19426042.300-why-does-cabbage-work-as-treatment-for-mastitis-and-painful-breasts-when-breastfeeding.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19426042.300-why-does-cabbage-work-as-treatment-for-mastitis-and-painful-breasts-when-breastfeeding.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always, this is not medical advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T22:09:36.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10436" CreationDate="2013-11-17T22:13:25.543" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You shouldn't try controlled crying techniques until the child is six months old.  Before then crying is their method of telling you that they need something from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While holding them to comfort them is lovely, it doesn't help them learn how to put themselves to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, you need to work out a way to comfort them, and then put them down to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling helps.  Watch out for temperature.  Making sure baby is burped properly helps too, especially if baby is bottle fed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2013-11-17T22:13:25.543" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10446" CreationDate="2013-11-18T02:07:28.600" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow!!  I feel for you.  Being a new parent is exhausting, nerve-wracking and a little confusing = it really does take a village.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To anwer the question about what your wife can or cannot do, I'll share my experience (though everyone's is different and I don't know which complications she had etc, etc) I had a c-section and was up and moving around doing almost everything I had prior to the surgery within three weeks, but the doc remarked on me as a quick healer.  I still needed help getting in and out of the tub (but could otherwise bathe myself) and needed help on the stairs or lifting heavy things (but not the baby).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of coping - I'd say, maybe there are some ways to improve the situation rather than just cope.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, &lt;strong&gt;talk to your wife&lt;/strong&gt;.  Tell her how sleep deprived you are and ask if she is ready to adjust the night shift part of things - even if it is just slightly.  You one night, her the next, or you the 2:00 feeding, she, the 4:00 . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As @Dariusz mentions, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everydayhealth.com/health-center/postpartum-depression.aspx&quot;&gt;Post Partum Depression&lt;/a&gt; can be a really big deal and you do need to have a talk, but if it is PPD, it is more serious than just a talk and getting back on track may require more support than that.  It can last for months and make bonding between mom and baby extremely difficult and or delayed.  It is not well understood, but there is most-likely a chemical component brought on by hormonal changes that occur during and after childbirth.  Therefore, if you think it is more than just the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everydayhealth.com/health-center/baby-blues.aspx&quot;&gt;baby blues&lt;/a&gt;, this should all probably also be mentioned to her doctor as PPD is an illness.  If &lt;strong&gt;getting some help for possible depression can help jump-start her back out of apathy&lt;/strong&gt;, then, get her some help and &lt;strong&gt;it will help you too&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Understand her sadness or apathy by asking her about it&lt;/strong&gt;.  I did not personally struggle with PPD, but I did get a bit of the baby blues.  It can be common for moms (especially first-timers) to have a &quot;plan&quot; or very concrete idea about how they'd like childbirth to go.  It is a pretty important rite of passage for women after-all.  You probably have a lot of feelings about parenthood too.  The whole point of marriage is so you can be a team.  &lt;strong&gt;Let her tell you about it and listen to your concerns.  You will both feel better.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Just being cooped up can get depressing pretty quickly&lt;/strong&gt;.  Once I was finally allowed to go home, I still wasn't moving really well and so it was a little while before I could really get out of the house.  By the time we were into the second week, I was feeling fairly apathetic and definitely experiencing some cabin fever.  We started going for really slow walks (this was actually encouraged as a way to help healing take place faster at the hospital too).  If I only felt up to going 20 feet down the sidewalk - that was ok, but I'd gotten out.  By the end of that second week and into the third, we were in the park during the slower part of the day (fewer people, less exposure for baby).  Movement, activity and making an attempt to get back to a schedule helped tremendously to improve my mood and get me past it.  Going on a quiet and carefully timed outing may make a huge difference for your wife.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like you, &lt;strong&gt;she may also be feeling anxious&lt;/strong&gt;.  If you have taken over and had a few weeks to make a few mistakes and learn from those mistakes, some of your anxiety about how to do things may have passed while she hasn't had the chance to move through some of that.   You mention correcting how she was holding the baby at one point.  While you wouldn't want the baby hurt, the reality is there are tons of ways to hold a baby and still have that baby be perfectly safe.  If baby's head is supported, baby probably isn't getting hurt.  You might think about how often you are &quot;correcting&quot; or &quot;instructing&quot; and pick your battles a little - let her struggle a little more and see if it &lt;strong&gt;helps her confidence&lt;/strong&gt;.  She might be more willing to do more if some of that anxiety can go away, so let her struggle through a few imperfect diaper changes or whatever.  At least, laugh over a few fumbles you may have already had yourself to let her know you're there for her and are learning along the way too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is early in the game to have a full-fledged date night, but perhaps you could squeeze in an hour for just the two of you in the near future.  Go for a short drive, a take-home meal both of you go to pick up, or use the hour to just snuggle in a place that isn't the same four walls your wife is constantly looking at at this time.  Maybe on a blanket at the nearest park, or an easy stroll at the mall and buy a &quot;welcome to parenthood&quot; charm bracelet, or go do some cloud watching just do it together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T14:11:46.247" LastActivityDate="2013-11-18T14:11:46.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10458" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10461" CreationDate="2013-11-18T02:30:49.417" Score="5" ViewCount="585" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son always keeps something besides him while sleeping. It can be anything, not necessarily a toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does that mean he fears something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T16:20:54.330" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T21:48:49.747" Title="My 4 year old son always keeps something besides him when he sleeps. Is that normal?" Tags="|behavior|sleep|fears|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10459" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-18T02:35:13.873" Score="5" ViewCount="316" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son does not allow me to read any NEW book or magazine and always becomes cranky till I stop reading and hand over that book to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially I thought it might be temporary thing but now, it has become a ritual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-19T02:42:36.547" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T02:42:36.547" Title="My 4 year old son always takes away any new book or magazine that I read. How to deal with it?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|reading|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10459" CreationDate="2013-11-18T04:48:15.327" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Between two and five or so, kids are really testing out their impact on the world around them.  They still also need a lot of time with you.  They spend a lot of time asserting their own opinions and desires over the people around them and test the limits of what they can effect.  Without all the verbal skills you have, especially related to emotions, they often turn to other means to get what they want.  This is all done at only a sub or semi concious level, it is not as though they are thinking, &quot;how can I manipulate mom and dad this time?&quot;  but they are learning new skills related to cause and effect and what effect they can have and testing those skills.  This manifests itself in different ways and generally by the time they are four or five things are calmer than at two and three, but your child is reaching new levels of sophistication in his/her exertion of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, kids often just want what you have because you have it (you are pretty cool after-all) so when you combine this fact, with the fact that they are testing how much influence they can have, you have kids that get &quot;moody&quot; until they get what they want.  I have taught both preschool (two to four years old) and Middleschool (adolscent years) and always laughed when people asked how I could switch from one to the other so easily - its the same thing!  Older kids just have a bigger vocabulary of &quot;bad words&quot; and &quot;moody tactics&quot; (well, and the ability to deceive).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest a three-fold approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Offer up opportunities for your child to exert control in healthy ways that you aren't already.  For example, let your child choose what he will wear every morning by offering two - three options that are all weather appropriate.  Let your child choose between two or three things frequently throughout the day and when-ever possible.  Set clear boundaries for the things about which your child has no choice and stick to it on those things (for example, bedtime is hard and fast, but he can choose whether he brushes his teeth first or puts his pj's on first).  This allows your child to feel in control of some aspects so he is less likely to get &quot;moody&quot; with you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Just in case your child is simply &lt;strong&gt;wishing for more time to spend with you&lt;/strong&gt; and really wants you to stop reading and play instead, before you read your own book or magazine to yourself, read a few with your child to be sure he has had his time with you.  At the age of four, your child really does want to simply spend time with you.  Most of your adult reading will probably happen when he is asleep etc.  However, seeing you read to yourself once in awhile is a healthy thing for kids as it helps them to enjoy reading as well.  While you &lt;strong&gt;read with him&lt;/strong&gt;, model how to turn pages gently and what appropriate treatment of these tools looks like.  At four, he can learn how to use books and magazines without ruining the pages.  Then, make sure to offer your child a magazine of his own to look at while you look at yours.  There are some wonderful kids magazines out there like Ladybug and Highlighters, Ranger Rick, Zoo News. . . It doesn't have to be new everytime, but offer up something so he can read alongside you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When your child is using the tactics you refer to as &quot;moody or cranky,&quot;  state very simply, &quot;I understand you want the magazine, but you have spoiled many of my magazines and books.  When you demonstrate you know how to care for them, we will talk again.&quot;   Then, be a broken record.  Just repeat this refrain if he grabs at the book, argues with you, asks for it again, throws a tantrum, etc.  You can even repeat the refrain and add, &quot;X behavior is not the way to get what you want.&quot;  If your child's behaviors persist, offer up a consequence suitable to his behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-19T01:39:50.397" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T01:39:50.397" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10458" CreationDate="2013-11-18T04:51:55.497" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've known quite a few kids that just wanted to hold on to something while they fell asleep.  Having a cozy, or something to regularly cuddle with is also completely normal and acceptable at this age as well.  I wouldn't jump to the conclusion it means he is fearful, its just a part of how he sleeps.  Do you have a favorite pillow you always sleep better with?  Think of it as being similar.  It is just part of how he falls asleep best right now - and it is fairly common for his age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T13:43:40.477" LastActivityDate="2013-11-18T13:43:40.477" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10462" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-18T08:52:55.147" Score="6" ViewCount="14022" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11-year-old son is an intelligent and extroverted boy. He wants to neither study nor take care of his belongings. I have to continuously tell him to do his routine work like bathing, brushing teeth etc. When I sit with him for studies and he doesn't show an inclination to complete his work, I get irritated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I try to explain him the reasons why he should be doing all this work. Then afterwards, I beat him. That makes matters worse. He starts destroying the things at home. Unless I say sorry to him or allow him to hit me in the same manner I hit him, the atmosphere remains tense at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband is posted out of the city and comes home only at weekends. He blames me for my way of upbringing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kindly help me to deal with this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6084" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2018-07-02T05:49:24.170" LastActivityDate="2018-07-02T08:57:20.770" Title="How to make my stubborn 11-year-old son study and take care of himself when physical punishment doesn't work?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|pre-teen|violence|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10459" CreationDate="2013-11-18T09:30:53.757" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My immediate impression is that it's a power struggle. He wants your attention. He wants you to play with him. He sees your reading material as the thing that is keeping you from interacting with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless your new material is suitable for children (and you don't mind it being torn etc.) then &lt;em&gt;don't give him your things.&lt;/em&gt; Instead, put them away and play with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have much time for myself at home while the kids are awake either. I accept this as a phase in their lives - and in my life. Forget about computer time, books, magazines - until after bedtime. That's time for yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he grows older, he will learn to respect your time needs too. But 4 is too early for that. Accept it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Addendum:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Depending on when my kids finally fall asleep, I have anywhere between zero and two hours for myself, but this time is normally not spent reading or with TV because there's grown-up stuff to do in the household -- maintenance, planning, preparations. &lt;em&gt;Actual play time for myself&lt;/em&gt; is a rare and special treat... I'm sure that once my smallest son is old enough to be able to safely entertain himself for an hour or so, &lt;em&gt;time for myself&lt;/em&gt; becomes available again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to think of the challenging time until then as an investment... effort now pays off later. It's probably not wise to draw too strong parallels between children and investments (long-term break even?) but it helps to realize that small children grow up and I should enjoy their childhood as much as I can!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T12:34:02.267" LastActivityDate="2013-11-18T12:34:02.267" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10462" CreationDate="2013-11-18T11:01:40.303" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly we have a cultural issue. I see you are from India, I am from Australia. Where I live, it is illegal to beat children. It is illegal to hit them with any object, near the face or head and many people do not like giving toddlers a smack with an open palm on the bottom. So this presents some difficulties in addressing this issue. Being mindful of the cultural differences, I am going to answer this question, from a global viewpoint of what all children thrive on and need from their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The problem.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your partner is away much of the time, so this puts a lot of pressure on you as a parent and it is important to have support and breaks as a parent. Having a renewed sense of purpose assists any parent. When you feel your irritation begin and your anger rising, you must remove yourself from the situation. Give yourself a time out, not as a punishment, but as a breather. To give you time to calm down and gain perspective. As the current cycle of behavior is not working for you and your son.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Allowing your son to hit you to appease him is only encouraging very bad habits. It is encouraging him to disrespect you, use his fists as a way of solving his bad feelings and removes any authority you have over him as his mother.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Beating your son teaches him that violence is an acceptable response to frustration. It demeans his self worth and the respect between you both. There is no example for him to learn to deal with irritation, except to become physically violent. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is perfectly normal for children to require constant reminders and pressure to do homework and many other daily tasks. As you know this is an area of conflict, it may be better to let homework slide for a few weeks, until you can gather some more emotional energy and control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, he is not completely  in this environment effectively, he is growing bigger and stronger each day and the problem is going to become one you cannot rein in, if you don't take action. There is no point pressing a child to do homework, when there is violence in the home. Clean up the violent outbursts and then you can take stock of homework and other tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently your son  sounds angry and resentful towards you, he knows by not dong his homework, it makes you crazy and for many children this gives them a great deal of satisfaction when they are unhappy with their parents or situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So you need to ask yourself what sort of man do I want to raise?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two sons and I approach it like this: What sort of men am I raising? How are they going to treat their partners? I want to raise men, that are respectful and protective of their partners, not men that will scare their partners because of bad tempers and physical violence. How do I go about this? By teaching them that how they treat me (their mother) and their sister, sets the stage for how they will be as adults. And it all begins with me, as their parent. I am responsible for directing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also a single parent, and truly understand the pressures and how we can get to a &lt;em&gt;breaking point&lt;/em&gt;, or so it feels that way. The key is, this is a feeling and it passes, we will soon be feeling better, so it is vital to not do things in this state that will cause harm to our children or ourselves. We need to take care of ourselves to take care of our children. They see everything and we set examples for them continuously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What can you do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As I mentioned earlier, give yourself space when you feel irritated.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Change your routine. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Spend time having fun with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find out what he enjoys to do (as often parents can lose sight of this when in a rut) and do it. Go for a walk, anything, together and break that routine and take the pressure off both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change your thinking about it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By thinking your son is winning when he does not do his homework, it is helping the cycle to repeat. Change your thoughts and think, every time you do not beat him and every time you have an experience together where you both smile or laugh, you are both winning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no easy fix. These words seem so flimsy to help your situation. It is just a beginning, to help you pick up the pieces and start again. In these times of crisis, sometimes we need to shock ourselves into a change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An important issue that needs to be addressed is the type of support you have.&#xA;Seek good family or friends to help you. Spend time with people and see if there are activities that your son can do, out of the home, where he is safe and occupied physically (like sport). You both need space and some more happiness in this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;edit&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just read your profile, you have an older son. I would also be asking your older son for his help with his younger brother. This is something I have found to be invaluable. My 13 year old son spends a lot of time with his 19 year old brother. This has assisted a lot with his behavior problems and the conflict between us, as his older brother sets a good example (because he is older and through this difficult age) and my younger boy looks up to him in a way that they don't admire their mothers at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T11:07:00.713" LastActivityDate="2013-11-18T11:07:00.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10446" CreationDate="2013-11-18T16:13:39.223" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;To the other excellent answers, I would also add that many new mothers experience a lack of confidence, and sometimes this is made worse by the fact that they had to have a C-section (it is a bit irrational, but it can feel like you somehow failed at your first basic task of motherhood). As you have taken over much of the care, it may have made her feel more inept, especially as you have corrected her way of holding the baby and perhaps have given her other tips, thinking you were encouraging her involvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you step back. Trust her to take care of the baby and give her a chance to rise to the challenge, to find her own way to hold and diaper and soothe baby. Show confidence in her, but avoid adjective-laden praise as it makes the work of caring for the baby something you need to approve of. Instead, you might comment on things she does well in a more neutral way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You got her to sleep in less than an hour - it took me a lot longer than that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I think I was making her nappy too tight - she looks more comfortable the way you do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I am so glad you are feeling a bit better from the surgery. I know you are not 100%, and you are managing amazingly well. I didn't even have surgery, and I was exhausted!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need to let her do things her own way even though she will do things differently than you and perhaps initially not as well as you. She needs to grow into this role by trying things and making her own successes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many new mums get a slow start, but with experience I am sure your wife will be great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-18T16:13:39.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10458" CreationDate="2013-11-18T16:34:08.507" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (2.5) sleeps with approximately 12 trucks, four bears, a caterpillar, three pillows and Iron Man.  (I sometimes wonder how on earth he can fit in there with all those toys.)  He will get quite upset if he wakes up and a toy isn't there and should be.  It's not for protection, or fear; he does it because these toys are his lovies.  My daughter, 5.5, does the same thing (except for the quantity).  We always verify that each one is there at bedtime for her peace of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/11/a-firm-grasp-on-comfort/?ref=health&amp;amp;_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Research indicates&lt;/a&gt; that lovies are there to help kids transition from the parent to the rest of the world.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2013-11-18T19:00:11.713" LastActivityDate="2013-11-18T19:00:11.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10468" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-19T01:26:01.057" Score="7" ViewCount="1191" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an amazing 7-year-old daughter who is unbelievably empathetic.  Which, allows her to be a good friend, wonderful daughter and just a loving soul all around.  However, her emotions can also be very intense and along with the empathy a high level of sensitivity.  Really she isn't unlike me to be honest.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To demonstrate her sympathy level, I'll reference reading &lt;em&gt;The Hobbit&lt;/em&gt; together.  As a family we read the story in the last few months.  When Gollum loses his ring, Tolkien does a good job of making Gollum pathetic and sad and the reader is meant to feel for him a little, but he &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; also the bad guy.  My daughter burst into tears.  Why can't Golum and Bilbo both have the magic ring mom?  I know Golum is creepy but that doesn't mean he should have to be so sad!  A few minutes later she had taken a deep breath and was talking about how &quot;every good story has to have its story bumps, I know and I know it isn't real, but it is still so sad.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always felt that just as every rose has its thorn and every cowboy sings a sad, sad song, (sorry, song reference - had to do it)  but seriously, &lt;strong&gt;every gift brings its curse&lt;/strong&gt;.  Where the challenge lies for my little one, is helping her keep it all in balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is an excellent reader, (A few months ago, she was tested again and has a 12th grade vocabulary, 8th grade comprehension, and spells like the second grade kid she is).  So, choosing literature for her school lessons is a challenge because she isn't emotionally ready for most of the stuff written at a level that would challenge her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She gets on really well with other kids of all ages including her own, but becomes sincerely hurt at the slightest hint another child doesn't like her.  To make matters worse, this last summer, three of my daughter's best friends all moved away and for completely separate reasons we had already changed school programs before we knew this was going to happen (she is partially home-schooled, but we have a coop and she goes to regular classes once/week as well).  She is needing to make an entirely new batch of friends at school, her best friend (and only girl her age) in Taekwondo classes is one of the three that moved, and she was moved into a higher belt class as well, and the theater (another social out-let for her) is not currently doing any plays that have parts available for her age.  She still has one or two great friends from the former school program we have set play dates with and she is doing well with meeting and making new friends at the new school too, but every little slight by any of the kids at the school sends her to tears (sometimes I think they are only perceived slights too).  I think the loss of her friends is making her even more sensitive than she already was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I help her develp that thicker skin and just appreciate the friends she has made, move on and let it go?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-19T13:48:23.030" LastActivityDate="2019-02-19T13:48:23.030" Title="What are healthy ways to help my 7-year-old in developing a thicker skin?" Tags="|primary-schooler|socialization|life-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10469" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10470" CreationDate="2013-11-19T01:40:40.060" Score="5" ViewCount="62152" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a delicate question. It is not a subject that I can ask my children about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age can a parent expect this activity to start?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-11-19T08:37:55.393" LastActivityDate="2016-08-15T15:42:08.507" Title="At what age do teenagers begin to masturbate?" Tags="|development|age-appropriate|teen|pre-teen|sex|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10469" CreationDate="2013-11-19T02:35:51.227" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the kid actually.  Many kids will &quot;play&quot; even as toddlers and in elementary school and just experiment with the different sensations that happen in that area of the body.  However, most kids hit puberty and start masturbating with an actual result sometime during the Middle-School years or between 11 and 15.  Of course there are exceptions that start a little sooner, or who might hold off and not masturbate at all (for a variety of social/religous reasons, not neccessarily because they don't get the urge).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I taught Middle School Health (which includes sex-ed) and actually would suggest that if there is a concern you have or something going on you think needs some work (for example, maybe you are finding stains on sheets and would like to talk about how your son can wash up after himself or are thinking it is time he start washing his own bedding) I'd actually suggest finding a way to brooch the subject (as awkward as it may be).  If there is some other reason for not talking about it besides the usual awkwardness, of course the following paragraph need not apply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you have both a daughter and a son that fall approximately around this age category so I'll use he, but she can fit too.  If you can just be matter of fact about it, state that you don't want to impede on his privacy or make any one feel ashamed but, then state what you noticed and follow it with what you would like to see happen to remedy the problem.  If you keep it short and simple and in a non-emotional tone.  As embarassed as your kid will be, he is likely to respect you for your frankness later on and your openess will make it more likely he will feel he can talk to you about sexual matters when he has questions, concerns or experiences he needs to discuss with you later on.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T02:35:51.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10471" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10474" CreationDate="2013-11-19T03:04:59.387" Score="16" ViewCount="3001" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some background.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always been extremely careful about taking precautions to prevent my children from ever walking in on me when engaging in sexual activity. I've had a relationship with my next door neighbor (an old school friend, not just any neighbor) and he would frequently visit after my children had gone to sleep and be gone before they woke up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point my (then 11 or 12 year old) son would often come into my room in the middle of the night without knocking. I ended up explaining to him that he could not do this, as one night he may get a shock if he finds I'm not alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One obvious thing is to get a lock on the bedroom door, I did put a screen up, to hide the bed from the door. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's important to keep my sexual activities away from my children, but I thought it would be better to say something to my son, rather than have him walk in on us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is this:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;How much information is healthy to disclose to a child about a parent's sexual activities (obviously not details), is it good to discuss it, if so at what age?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-11-19T03:45:11.587" LastActivityDate="2018-04-21T23:51:45.460" Title="Some strategies for maintaining adult relationships separately from children?" Tags="|development|teen|parents|pre-teen|sex|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10468" CreationDate="2013-11-19T03:07:25.557" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the best strategies I have used to deal with this with my own daughter is telling her stories about how things were for me at her age. &quot;Did you know that my best friend moved away when I was in 3rd grade?&quot; This usually distracts her and piques her curiosity. I will then answer her questions about what that was like, how things got better, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think kids need to know that we have been through similar situations growing up and that we struggled but eventually found a way through. I know that these talks have deepened our bond and I am glad I began this practice when she was younger as it has been very beneficial during her current transition to middle school. Her dad has also adopted this tactic and finds it helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We will usually, not always, spend some time brainstorming some ways that she can help herself adjust or to feel better. We write them down for future reference and she stars the best ones. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have also had conversations with her about the nature of feelings, how we need to feel them and deal with them without holding on to them for too long or nursing them too much. I think at her age I used an analogy of an injured leg: you can't ignore it and pretend it's ok, nor should you poke at it over and over and make it hurt worse. You have to rest and take care of it until it heals. It will hurt less and less until it doesn't hurt at all anymore. Feelings are the same but it's hard for kids to project into a future time when they will feel better so we have to remind them and give them examples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently read of some research that indicated that the most resilient kids come from families with a strong narrative that tells of family members experiencing good times and also persevering through hard times. We have expanded our talks now to include other family stories that illustrate the ups and downs of life. Now, in 6th grade, she seems so much more self assured and she weathers the storms with far more grace than I did at her age. I will look up the article about that study and post it when I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok, here is the article that talks about the research into resilience: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html?_r=0&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also wanted to add that if she seems to be dwelling on old hurts I will point that out and ask her if there is something more going on. Sometimes she needs more processing, other times there is some new issue, often she is just tired or hungry or both. She's learning that it's good to take a little internal inventory and that she doesn't have to be at the mercy of her emotions because she has skills to deal with them in a healthy way. It is a process but it took me a long time to figure these things out on my own and I can see that it will be much easier for her because of this work we are doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T03:07:25.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10473" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-19T03:17:48.957" Score="3" ViewCount="4475" Body="&lt;p&gt;Background.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband died 10 years ago. My children were aged 9, 3 and 1 at the time. I was always (and still am) probably too extreme in my stance on relationships with men, since my husband's death.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had observed many single mothers (and single father's, but as I am a woman, I focused on my peers), having de facto relationships, that would fail, and then often repeating the same process with another person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although I could see my children had the need for a father figure, I was not keen to introduce them to anyone unless I was as certain as &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; could be that they would be a permanent fixture. I didn't want them to go through any more unnecessary loss due to my poor judgement (in this case, possible poor partner choice).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was also a lot of events where a &lt;em&gt;step&lt;/em&gt; (whether by marriage or de facto) parent would harm (even murder) their step child. Obviously this is rare, but it would make the news headlines here and I would get really paranoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing I didn't want, is my children to meet a string of men and as adults piece it together, oh mum must've slept with those men, how gross. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now these are my thoughts and may not be helpful, as I have raised my children alone, rather than risk introducing someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How does multiple partners being introduced to children of single parent families, affect the children?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T10:36:16.150" Title="Effects of multiple new relationships (and the single parent) upon children" Tags="|development|relationships|single-parent|attachment|consistency|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10471" CreationDate="2013-11-19T03:39:28.243" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;What an awesome question!  People always talk about &quot;The Talk&quot; but talking to kids about sexually related topics is something that happens over and over again throughout a child's upbringing if a child is being brought up in a frank atmosphere.  There is the, &quot;where do babies come from&quot; as well as the, &quot;why can't I come into your room when-ever I want&quot; and the, &quot;but mom, so and so doesn't have a curfew because its prom night!&quot; and everything in between.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am assuming the kids know you and this neighbor are in an ongoing relationship already as I answer this.  I know from previous questions there may be some complexities regarding dating etc. if they are not already aware.  Of course, if they do not already know, you'll have to address that first.  You also may want to be prepared for the talk about them having their own overnight guests and where your rules on that stand (and why things might be different for you than they are with them).  It may not come up, but teens are teens so I always figure it is just good to be prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience the more forthright and frank you are (without the details) the more willing they are to talk to you about their stuff - something you really do want them to do even if it is hard to hear.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 11/12, he should know the mechanics of sex, because his body is about ready to change with that as the biological end goal (if things haven't started already).  Since this is the case, I'd suggest you just be frank about it.  &quot;&lt;strong&gt;_  I'm not comfortable with you entering my room at night, because I am in a serious relationship with _&lt;/strong&gt;.  I feel what we do together is between us and should stay that way so my room is simply off limits without a confirmation from me that you may enter the room.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I am answering this way, not knowing why your son wishes to come in at night anyway.  If your son really wants to have some cuddle time still and that is why is coming in you may want to find a way to arrange for that too.  In my family, we liked to cuddle up and read a family book together in our pjs in the morning.  (I think my parents enjoyed their delights in the morning because we weren't allowed in before 8:00 on Saturdays and before 6:00 on School days)  Sunday was a day when Mom and Dad refrained so we could all climb in together and read a book or the news together that way we got our cuddle time too.  Of course, by the time my sister and I were about 12, we weren't so interested in that any more anyway, but Sundays we were allowed in.  You might make a similar agreement with him.  Maybe Tuesday's are for the kids if they wih to use Tuesdays and the rest of the week the bedroom is off limits or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T03:39:28.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10475" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10477" CreationDate="2013-11-19T03:46:12.967" Score="25" ViewCount="123104" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How damaging is it for children to witness their parent's sexual activity?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked this question here &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/10471/some-strategies-for-maintaining-adult-relationships-separately-from-children?noredirect=1#comment17394_10471&quot;&gt;Some strategies for maintaining adult relationships separately from children?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Which needed to be broken into two questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T18:47:46.663" Title="How damaging is it for children to witness their parent's sexual activity?" Tags="|development|parents|sex|relationships|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10476" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10543" CreationDate="2013-11-19T03:58:12.580" Score="16" ViewCount="9952" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children's father committed suicide 10 years ago, when they were aged 9, 3 and 1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the time of his death I did not want them to know how he died, but it became such public knowledge I was forced to disclose this to my oldest child, as I did not want him to find out at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Growing up, I had a friend whose father had died and it wasn't until he turned 18 that his mother disclosed to him that his father had committed suicide. This always stuck with me, as he was shocked, but also at a better age to deal with the concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prior to their father's death, my children did not know of the concept of suicide. Even though they had a paternal aunt who had suicided before they were born and later a maternal uncle's death was deemed suicide (this was the year following their father's death).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So suicide is a huge issue in our family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any research into disclosing the cause of death of a parent when it is suicide?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the pros and cons with early disclosure or waiting until children are older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I am not interested in anecdotal evidence or opinion, but expertise and any research on this subject.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked this question here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/9047/helping-children-cope-with-a-parents-suicide&quot;&gt;How to help children cope with a parent&amp;#39;s suicide?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2019-05-30T12:24:31.917" LastActivityDate="2019-05-30T12:24:31.917" Title="How and when to disclose to children a parent's suicide?" Tags="|age-appropriate|communication|research|death|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10475" CreationDate="2013-11-19T04:29:54.110" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it depends more on the attitude of the parents and the child's disposition and age than on the actual witnessing (and maybe, how kinky things were when the viewing took place).  I didn't find any online aricles with a scientific study on the matter or anything (how would you even go about a study like that really?) but I did find &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentmap.com/article/caught-in-the-act-by-your-kids-how-to-cope&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; which goes into a little more detail than I do here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents were always very open about things with me so when, on my twelth birthday a friend and I accidentally came across two adults in the act on the dock at the local swimming hole where I was about to have my party.  Mom knew just from looking at me that I'd seen something and simply said, &quot;You've just seen a matched pair haven't you?&quot;  She didn't even bat an eyelash about it, just very matter-of-fact almost as though every kid runs into such a moment eventually.  Dad went and warned the couple (who were just the other side of the trees from where the picnic tables were) that there was about to be twenty some odd pre-teen girls arriving so they might enjoy another location more while mom simply followed up her first statement with, &quot;any questions?&quot;  I think she must have called the other girl's mom during the party to let my friend's mom know what we had seen, but I don't remember her making a big deal about it at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my sister and I stumbled on some old nudie pics dad had of mom (which I'll grant you is not the same thing as seeing them in the act), I laughed about the matter.  My sister (three years younger and much shier by nature) was totally grossed out, but niether of us were traumatized and it is sort of a family joke now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, my husband's family rarely discussed sex at all.  So, when my youngest sister-in-law walked into her parent's house at the age of 20 and heard &quot;noises&quot; she dropped her bags, turned and ran from the house and spent the night at a friend's.  She is still freaked out enough by the whole thing that if her siblings bring it up she goes cherry red and pretty much clams up for the rest of the time we are together despite the fact that she didn't actually see anything and she was already sexually active herself.  My mother-in-law apparently hasn't figured out why this daughter's bags arrived before the daughter herself (yea right).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here is what I suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are walked in on and it is a kid old enough to know what is going on, that kid will probably leave (as in your case).  Don't race down the hall after him.  Instead, get your clothes back on, compose yourself and take a deep breath.  Then, walk down the hall and just say, &quot;Hey, I know you just came in and saw what we were doing.  I'm sorry you saw such a private moment, but if you would like to talk about it we can.&quot;  Then you are opening the door but not pushing anything.  With younger kids that stay and have questions for you, I'd say, &quot;we were having a private moment (insert child's name) I'd like a minute or so and then I'll come in and we can talk more about what you just saw&quot;  That way you are buying yourself a minute or two to regain composure, come down off the oxytocin high and be ready to anser questions at a develpmentally appropriate level.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell it like it is - don't lie.  Even a primary school kid can&#xA;understand.  &quot;Mommy and Daddy were having sex.  This is something&#xA;grown-ups do when they are married (or whatever limit you want to put&#xA;on it - after they are -insert age here- or when they are ready for&#xA;kids. . . )  However, it is something adults like to keep to&#xA;themselves like going potty or having a shower so I am sorry we didn't have the door locked.&quot;  It is important to not make the child feel he/she did anything wrong.  &quot;Do you have any questions about what you saw?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try not to act embarassed about it.  Sex is a natural act and you&#xA;want your kids not to feel badly about it when it is the right time&#xA;for them to engage - eventually - so treating it as a normal and&#xA;natural thing is healthy for everyone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids will be grossed out (at least a little) because it is only natural to want to think of your parents as sexless beings who just happen to be the only people who ever actually got a delivery (or deliveries) from the stork.  I just don't think it has to be traumatizing unless you treat it as if it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nbcnews.com/id/25936129/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nbcnews.com/id/25936129/&lt;/a&gt; also had some related info as did CNN: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/24/health/kerner-kids-sex/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/24/health/kerner-kids-sex/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5939/2876&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; is about how to go about having the post- &quot;whoops&quot; moment talk with a teen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T06:17:49.940" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10468" CreationDate="2013-11-19T06:27:31.677" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like a highly sensitive child. You can read more about it here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm&lt;/a&gt; and see if the description fits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6093" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T06:27:31.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10469" CreationDate="2013-11-19T08:36:24.930" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Teenagers?&lt;/em&gt; I've masturbated for as long as I can remember, probably since age 3 even though I didn't know what it was - it just felt good. As the years passed I learned what it was and just kept on going. Always in private, but at some point my awkward mom asked me to not stain the bedding. I complied and there hasn't been a word since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6094" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T08:36:24.930" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10480" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-19T10:53:58.897" Score="8" ViewCount="52256" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2-year-old son. From the time he was born, my son has never been a good sleeper, but he's never been as bad as he is now. I am really losing my patience with him. I've tried everything and nothing seems to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one stage I thought I'd started to crack it: He'd go to bed by himself, watch TV, and fall asleep. He would only wake up in the night a couple of times (if that) wanting more juice, which I didn't mind and every now and again he would sleep through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the problems started getting worse: He would wake up 7 times a night for more juice. But now he's just waking up for the sake of waking up and wants me to be there with him. I can be in his room half an hour to an hour at a time sometimes before he even drops back to sleep as he'll fight it. As soon as I go back to bed he wakes up again and gets out of bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm getting no sleep whatsoever at the minute as I have to keep getting up and put him back into bed and stand at the doorway only for him to not fall back asleep and just whinge and fidget. I've tried getting back in bed, talking to him from the bedroom, telling him I'm there, and that I'm staying in my bed so he needs to stay in his, but he just gets out and opens my door and stands there crying. I'll try ignoring him hoping he would go back in his bed when he eventually realises I'm not getting out of bed, but that's not getting him anywhere and now he's started falling asleep on my bedroom floor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm really at my wits' end and feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. Any help would be much appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6096" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-30T12:27:06.977" LastActivityDate="2019-08-30T12:28:54.323" Title="How to make my 2-year-old sleep through the night and not wake up as soon as I'm away?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10480" CreationDate="2013-11-19T11:46:03.843" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no experience in that matter yet, but here's an idea: maybe, instead of juice, which may be sour or too sugary and cause some belly/activity trouble, try &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melissa_officinalis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Lemon balm&lt;/a&gt; herbal tea - it has mild calming properties, it could help your child to sleep through the night, or at least wake up less. I personally like the taste, it's especially good with some honey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T11:46:03.843" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10480" CreationDate="2013-11-19T13:25:17.223" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids go through developmental stage changes and when they do their sleep and eating patterns often change with the child.  At two, this is very likely at least a part of what is going on.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, you did have a couple of things going on that might have been counter-productive to your child's sleep as well so even though they are no longer part of the equation, I'll mention them for future viewers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things to Get Rid of&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The TV is not your friend!  Screen time right before sleep actually makes the sleep less deep.  As Torben explains in a comment below, the light prevents the production of melatonin which helps in reaching a deeper sleep.  Depending on the type of TV show being watched, it also is not necessarily calming either. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sugary Drinks or really anything other than water are generally a bad idea except during waking hours for a lot of reasons including dental health, nutritional health and deepness of sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things to Do&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to just knowing this &lt;strong&gt;may be a passing phase due to a developmental leap that either just occured or is about to&lt;/strong&gt;, it may also be helpful to know that kids have to learn to self-sooth in order to return to sleep.  This is easier for some kids than others, but having a regular routine helps kick the reaction in gear.  It is very similar to how a basketball player will have a routine for free throws or a tennis star a routine for serves.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to help your child with developing this by having a regular night&#xA;time routine at bedtime.  The faster they get into that deeper sleep,&#xA;the less likely you are to have middle of the night wakings that get&#xA;them fully awake (after a little while of getting that internal clock&#xA;reset).  If you have a routine for bedtime, you can help them figure&#xA;out a shortened version for falling back asleep.  For example,&#xA;fluffing blankets and petting a stuffed animal at the very end of&#xA;your routine and just before sleep at bedtime might be repeatable for&#xA;a two year old in the middle of the night trying to get himself back&#xA;to sleep.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/46/how-can-i-get-my-son-to-stay-in-bed-at-bedtime/83#83&quot;&gt;This question on SE&lt;/a&gt; is very similar to yours but&#xA;focuses more on the bedtime aspect of sleep than the middle - of -&#xA;the night wakings.  The answers offer a lot of input about how to go&#xA;about a bedtime routine that helps &quot;prep&quot; kids for sleepiness and you&#xA;may find some helpful hints in the answers to it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are times when &lt;strong&gt;no matter what you did at bedtime, kids will wake up and may have a hard time falling back to sleep on their own (even if they are good self-soothers).&lt;/strong&gt;  My daughter was the same way - sleep has always just been a tough thing for her.  She sleeps well when snuggled up with me though.  Here is what we did in regard to the developmental stuff and just helping her through it.  &lt;strong&gt;Some kids just need a lot more reassurances in the night.&lt;/strong&gt;  We made the contrary to most decision to let her come in and just snuggle in our bed for a little while to help her body get rested and back into the habit of sleeping.  Then we helped her transition back into staying in her own bed by:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Setting her up with a nice big body pillow she could snuggle and hold&#xA;if she woke up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Providing her with a low-light night-light and glow in the dark stars on her cieling.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Setting a rule about when she &lt;strong&gt;could&lt;/strong&gt; come in and giving her a digital clock with a sign on top that showed what the clock would look like when she was allowed to come in.  Since she often came in at about 1:00.  We told her she had to wait till the clock said 2:00.  This way, she wasn't made to feel like she just wasn't wanted all of a sudden - it was really about learning how to fall asleep on her own.  When she was doing well and sleeping until close to two, we switched it and said 3:00.  Then we moved it to 4:00, then 5:00 (wich is generally about when we start getting up anyway).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worked really well for us.  She felt supported and loved and got the cuddle, sleep and reassurances she needed, while we did too.  She still had occasional spurts where we had to go through it all again (like at three, when she would wake up to go to the bathroom and couldn't get herself back to sleep, or when she was sick, or at five when she started schooling &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; her bedtime had changed) but it never takes very long to get our bed back - and each time she's needed a little sleep &quot;work&quot; how long it took to get back on track has gotten shorter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T12:58:08.003" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10483" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-19T14:46:42.800" Score="14" ViewCount="848" Body="&lt;p&gt;The short question is this. How can we as parents encourage our parents to be more equitable in their treatment of their grandchildren?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As background here is my situation. When my wife and I got married, we had made the decision that we weren't going to have children. This was devastating to my mother who really (read really really really) wanted to have grandchildren. Independent of her wished, a few years later we decided to try and our first son came along who is now 7. Grandma immediately bonded with him, showering him with love and attention (and stuff). Four years later our second boy came along (now 2 1/2 y.o.) and while grandma loves him, she is still very bonded to our oldest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Up until now, it hasn't been a big deal because the baby hasn't had the mental maturity to understand the differences in their relationships but his behavior of late has indicated that he is starting to notice something... or at least wanting more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example would be something like recently we had made arrangements for grandma to spend the afternoon/evening with the toddler and then when they came back she was going to take the older one home for a sleep over. On the day of, she decided that she would take both boys for the afternoon and then keep the oldest one for sleep over. Ostensibly she says it's to give my wife and I some time alone, but my observation is that she often includes the older one in the time planned with the younger, but rarely (if ever I can think) alters plans with the older one to include the younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what can I do to encourage her to spend time and develop a relationship with my younger son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I point out what I observe or how I interpret her interactions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I making too much out of nothing? Do I need to get over it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T16:23:56.173" Title="What can be done to encourage grandparents to be equitable between siblings?" Tags="|grandparents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10452" CreationDate="2013-11-19T17:21:44.023" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lanolin ointment can be soothing... we used the Lansinoh stuff, but lots of other options out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something else to bear in mind is that a possible cause of cracking/pain is oral thrush in the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was the case with our daughter.  That needs to be treated with medication, but the (safe) cream prescribed by the doc (Newmans &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&amp;amp;id=76:all-purpose-nipple-ointment-apno&amp;amp;Itemid=17&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&amp;amp;id=76:all-purpose-nipple-ointment-apno&amp;amp;Itemid=17&lt;/a&gt;) combined with Gentian Violet (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&amp;amp;id=73:using-gentian-violet&amp;amp;Itemid=17&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&amp;amp;id=73:using-gentian-violet&amp;amp;Itemid=17&lt;/a&gt;) cleared it up in a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4814" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T17:21:44.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10483" CreationDate="2013-11-19T20:38:18.000" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably the best approach is to bring up your concern about a specific individual event, rather than trying to address the pattern separately.  Also, make it about your son's feelings more than her choice.  For example, if she wants to invite your older son to an event that was originally just planned for the younger son, say, &quot;He was really looking forward to some one-on-one time with you, and was terribly disappointed the last time the plans got changed.  Are you sure?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, as long as both kids are getting time to spend with their grandmother, I wouldn't worry too much about the amount of time being equal.  You don't want to get into a situation where grandma doesn't have energy to give them both equal one-on-one time, so she decides to skip it altogether.  These things have a way of evening out over the years.  When the older son is a teenager and no longer as interested in the kinds of activities grandma likes to do with them, the younger son will be the perfect age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T20:38:18.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10483" CreationDate="2013-11-19T22:28:20.713" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;She may not realize that she is favoring one at all, but I agree with Karl Bielefeldt in terms of how to approach her about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I disagree that as long as they are both getting time. . .  She is a close family member and being slighted by grandma can be pretty painful.  If she won't give them both one on one time, then both of them should only get to see her when it includes both of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T22:28:20.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10483" CreationDate="2013-11-19T22:44:08.770" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids and grandparents are all different persons with different affinities and relationships. For a while we had three kids and three grandparents for nine total relationships and they all played out differently. That's perfectly normal and okay. Unless there are some gross inequities or it actually starts to bother someone, I would just let things play out naturally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2013-11-19T22:44:08.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10488" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-20T04:36:18.567" Score="6" ViewCount="1295" Body="&lt;p&gt;Went to the urgent care the other day because of a high temp over a few days, lots of fussiness, lack of eating and when she does eat she would vomit. They did all the normal things like checking weight, temp, looking in ears and throat. The conclusion was &quot;take fever reducers and here is a prescription for medicine to help with nausea&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife asked about any infections, specifically, UTI's, because she was playing in sand in Florida for the past few days. The doctor said they don't like to do the urine test, because, well, it means a catheter to get the urine and they only do it if there was a past UTI.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long story short we opted for the urine test and she did have an infection and it was probably the cause for the fever. And it's only by luck that we know. I, for one, am going to want a urine test no matter what but should everyone ask for that? What other tests that are &quot;optional&quot; should parents be asking for if they find themselves at the urgent care with a fussy, high temp child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="63" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-22T14:14:16.963" LastActivityDate="2017-07-07T04:04:49.503" Title="Should we always ask to have urine tested when we go to urgent care?" Tags="|health|medicine|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10488" CreationDate="2013-11-20T07:40:21.210" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming that your daughter is very young--not quite 1 yet maybe?  Older children are usually capable of giving a urine sample, so if they had to use a catheter then obviously she's not old enough to do that, yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In small children, fever, vomiting, and general crankiness can be the only signs of a UTI.  They can also be signs of gastroenteritis, which, at this time of year, is ridiculously more common in young children than UTIs are (my son had a 24-hour one last night/today, for example).  If your daughter had had gastroenteritis, the doctor's initial recommendation would have been perfectly acceptable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you think your daughter is going to be having UTIs frequently, asking for her to be catheterized whenever you need to go to urgent care might be a little extreme--especially if it's obvious she has, say, an ear infection or strep throat.  My children have never had to be catheterized for anything, but I have friends whose children &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; had to be catheterized for UTI testing, and, from what I understand, it's pretty miserable and somewhat invasive.  In other words, it's probably not something you'd want to do unless you had to.  I've had to be catheterized a few times and didn't especially enjoy it and I was an adult.  But now that your daughter has had 1 confirmed UTI, it would certainly be easier to convince a doctor to test her for one if you find their initial conclusion unsatisfying and she has the same symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter keeps presenting with UTIs, she may need to be assessed by a pediatric nephrologist as there could be an underlying medical problem causing the infections.  I've done some searching and I can't seem to find any reported connections between playing in the sand and urinary tract infections, but I'm not a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for other tests/diagnostics you &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; request anytime you go to the doctor (not necessarily urgent care):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;X-rays:  Obviously most commonly used to assess broken bones, but chest x-rays can be helpful if you/doctor suspect something like pneumonia.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Blood cultures:  For bacterial infections.  They usually only like to do blood cultures if a child is fairly ill--it does involve drawing blood which can be difficult in small children.  It also takes a couple of days to get results.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Urine cultures:  Similar to blood cultures, but for urine instead.  If there is concern that the bacteria causing a UTI could be antibiotic-resistant or simply not respond well to standard treatment, doctors will sometimes do a culture to determine the type of bacteria causing the infection.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Flu test:  If you or your doctor suspect your child has or is coming down with the flu.  This is especially helpful if you catch the illness early and your child can take Tamiflu, but you have to catch it within the first 48 hours of flu symptoms, I believe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Throat swab:  Usually to test for strep, but a throat swab can also test for Mono.  It's not practical or reasonable to perform either of these tests if your child does not have a sore/red throat or swollen lymph nodes.  They're two separate tests, but I've had both of them run on me in a single office visit and had results returned very quickly (10 minutes or less).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those are the tests I can think of that would be considered more or less &quot;standard&quot; offerings at an urgent care clinic or pediatrician's office.  Other, more non-standard diagnostics, like ultrasounds, would probably need to be performed elsewhere.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, we've recently seen an up-tick in pediatric after-hours clinics in our area which are super nice because they only see children.  Don't underestimate how awesome it is for you to go somewhere with your child that only specializes in children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T07:40:21.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10488" CreationDate="2013-11-20T10:11:10.583" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is advice based on adult experience, so take it with a grain of salt: I was catheterized once briefly (just in and out, to help me void my bladder while I was giving birth) and was told to watch out for UTI signs after, because &lt;em&gt;catheters can cause a UTI&lt;/em&gt;. So if I were you I would not ask for it routinely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T10:11:10.583" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10492" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-20T13:47:02.667" Score="5" ViewCount="3448" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid refuses to do his homework and is failing freshman biology, literature, US History and Art in high school.  I grounded him and he still won't do the work.  I've taken away as many privileges as I can.  What now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-11-20T20:58:19.597" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T20:58:19.597" Title="My teenager doesn't care about being grounded - what now?" Tags="|discipline|teen|motivation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10493" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10503" CreationDate="2013-11-20T13:54:52.407" Score="43" ViewCount="8776" Body="&lt;p&gt;The school has assigned The Hunger Games as a literature reading assignment for my 11 year old.  I read the books and enjoyed the ride, but feel the brutality is too much for this age group, in this package.  The book is better suited to at least the middle-school classroom.  While some eleven year old children may be able to handle this book, the RL for comprehension is not set to the age of the class to which the book is being assigned.  The age listed as the age the book is aimed at is age 13+.  A typical class of 11 year olds will have children in it that can comprehend at 13, but it will also have just as many kids who can only comprehend a book written at an RL of 9.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me clarify:  &lt;strong&gt;I have no problem with violence as a theme in general and do not wish to hide my child from the concept/theme in literature&lt;/strong&gt;, but I do have a problem with the brutality in combination with a book that is &lt;strong&gt;written for older kids being presented in a classroom setting&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find this book inappropriate for this age group and feel it was really chosen for a &quot;cool factor&quot; rather than because it is appropriate and a well-thought out choice.  The plan is for the kids to read the book and then watch the movie at the end of the unit in &quot;celebration&quot; of completing the unit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son didn't ask to read the book, it was assigned.  He is already an avid reader and enjoys reading so engaging him with a book that has a lot of violence, and is above his reading level and he hasn't had an interest in simply because it is &quot;cool&quot; does not interest him or me.  Now that it was assigned, he doesn't want to be singled out and I don't want to embarrass him either so what do I do about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would have just added this as a comment, but there are already so many, I thought I'd add it here instead.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/10542/2876&quot;&gt;This link&lt;/a&gt; will take the reader to a closely associated question about dealing with the same issue but where death is the concern within the book as opposed to violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to point out that &lt;strong&gt;some of the over-arching themes in the book are complex themes and much more &quot;young adult&quot; as well as political in nature than your average 11 year old will be prepared for.&lt;/strong&gt;  There is a big difference in maturity between 11 and even 13.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2020-08-11T13:32:41.737" Title="The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?" Tags="|school|pre-teen|reading|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="18" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-02-12T05:59:46.853" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10488" CreationDate="2013-11-20T14:25:27.187" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's unlikely you would have never known except by &quot;luck.&quot;  The worst case is the fever still doesn't break after a few days, so you go back in and they run more tests.  You know your child better than any doctor.  You followed your instincts and it worked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, they can't test for everything all the time.  They have to go with what is most likely under the circumstances, and often the treatment is the same.  The last time my daughter went to the hospital with a high fever, it turned out she had meningitis, but you don't want to ask for a lumbar puncture every time.  The last time I went to the hospital with a high fever, I had a rare tick-borne disease called ehrlichiosis, but it's not something to regularly test for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing that your daughter is prone to UTIs, you still don't necessarily need to get the test every time.  With the history and if the symptoms fit, you can often convince a doctor to treat it without an invasive test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T14:25:27.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10493" CreationDate="2013-11-20T14:46:38.750" Score="62" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you're not thrilled about the depiction of violence in the book, but are reluctant to have your child singled out as different, maybe you could read it with him and discuss the violence and brutality.  Use this as a teaching situation, where you can listen to his interpretation of the violent themes in the book and add in your own two cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T14:46:38.750" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10492" CreationDate="2013-11-20T15:47:41.783" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your son is already failing all those courses and not doing homework, then it is probably too late for grounding to be effective. Sometimes I question the effectivity of grounding at all in teenagers, but that is beside the point here. Your son is becoming independent, and he has reasons (however ill-founded) for deciding to not do the work. Negative motivation is not going to overcome his reasons. Without more details it is difficult to determine what might be going on, but this is definitely something that you should sit down and have an open discussion about with him. You should let him know that he is free to express his thoughts and opinions on the matter, and that you are primarily interested in knowing why &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; feels his school work has fallen by the wayside. Now that your son is getting older it is time to start treating him like an adult. He may not always be prepared to make the right decisions, but he needs to learn how to make decisions on his own and face the consequences when they arise. You can still provide him guidance at this stage, but you should always keep your communication with him open and calm. Speak to him like an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4481" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T15:47:41.783" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10493" CreationDate="2013-11-20T16:45:01.837" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember reading Lord of the Rings when I was 11. It opened my eyes to a whole world of wonderful literature that was genuinely &lt;em&gt;interesting&lt;/em&gt;. Books with war and violence evoke strong emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I agree that not every child is necessarily ready for dealing with those emotions at that age, I would say that it's up to parents and teachers to support their children and address these emotions, rather than simply procrastinate. Doing so could cause the child to fall behind their peers. Additionally, whether or not the child reads the book, they will be discussing the book with their peers and finding out what happens anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With all that said, you know your child better than I do, and he knows himself better than either of us. &lt;strong&gt;Ask him how he feels&lt;/strong&gt;. If he feels that he's ready to read and interpret books that evoke strong emotions, let him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1055" LastEditorUserId="4481" LastEditDate="2013-11-20T16:55:55.610" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T16:55:55.610" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10493" CreationDate="2013-11-20T17:56:55.503" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might consider that children are affected by violence differently than adults, especially violence in books.  Their imagination isn't as horrible as ours.  A lot of what makes the book impactful to adults will go right over a child's head, due to their inexperience and lack of maturity.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you've ever reread a book as an adult that you first read as a child, you'll know what I mean.  &lt;em&gt;1984&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn&lt;/em&gt; come to mind as books I read as a child that hit me much harder as an adult.  &lt;em&gt;The Hobbit&lt;/em&gt; is a good example of a book that went the other way for me.  As I child, I found it terrifying.  As an adult, it is light-hearted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you still feel it isn't appropriate, I would take this opportunity to teach that different isn't bad.  This isn't the last time he will have to defy the crowd in order to make a better personal choice.  It doesn't have to be a negative thing.  Let him choose an appropriate replacement.  My parents had me do that once or twice in high school.  I don't remember feeling left out as much as the other kids being somewhat jealous that I got to read something different.  Kids like the &lt;em&gt;idea&lt;/em&gt; of reading a book above their maturity level, but actually doing it is not that pleasant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T17:56:55.503" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10493" CreationDate="2013-11-20T20:39:49.413" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;(Warning: Spoilers) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whereas the Hunger Games is a violent book, it is probably one of the few that shows the consequences of that violence. The death of Rue, the moral dilemma of kill-or-be-killed and the sacrifice of Katniss taking her sister's place all offer something for a child to learn. Even the death of foxface (I forget the character's name) was a presented as tragedy. Many of the district 1 characters show good people caught in an &quot;evil&quot; society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter read this book when she was eleven and enjoyed it. I read it after her. I'd rather she read this book that watched most of the rubbish on television these days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I would consider this as an opportunity to open (continue) a dialogue with your child as to the nature and impact of violence (as suggested by Valkyrie). I think the book is a reasonable starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2013-11-20T21:19:52.770" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T21:19:52.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10492" CreationDate="2013-11-20T20:47:18.077" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are (were) a teacher, does it work if you sit down with him and assist him with his homework? It may not be a long term solution, but might be enough to get him kick-started. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The broad spread of problem subjects probably shows that it is not one subject that is difficult, rather a greater motivation issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found with our daughter (12) that there comes a point where neither punishment nor bribery works. The best thing we've come up with is working with her on her sports/school. the downside is that they don't develop the self motivation skills required later on in life. It's a balancing act.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T20:47:18.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10493" CreationDate="2013-11-20T21:11:52.497" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Violence is unfortunately a factor of life.  It does no good to hide your child from life. I am a member of both Amnesty International and the Campaign against the arms trade (CAAT). My daughter (now 13) has been on a number of demonstrations with me and has done since she was 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A much better approach is to accept the reality of life but read the book with your son. You can then discuss the issues. This will give you an excellent opportunity to educate him in the realities of life and help him grow into the best he can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6116" LastActivityDate="2013-11-20T21:11:52.497" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10493" CreationDate="2013-11-21T01:10:49.830" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously, the first decision is to determine if the individual child is ready or not for the book in any one form of reading it - alone, with a teacher and class, and/or with a parent.  That really is a personal and individual decision as the answer for any given child will depend upon that child's particular sensitivities, reading abilities and moral awareness whether the inappropriateness is about violence, sex or some other topic of concern is really irrelevant except on that personal level. One parent might make opposite decisions about the same book with two different siblings because of the individual child's abilities and personality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If the Parent Decides to Allow The Reading&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be upfront with your concerns with your child so he knows where you stand and also find out what the child in question thinks.  Also let your child know that if he starts to think it is too much for him at any point he can bow out of reading and you will stand behind that decision.  Don't expect a kid in this position to make that decision - most won't, but once in awhile, wonders do occur.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Valkyrie that one of the best ways to handle this is to read along with the child in question.  If there is an older sibling, one might even choose to make it a family reading and enlist the older sibling in discussions about the book as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It might help to find the author's reading guide.  Most Children's and YA fiction that winds up being used in the classroom has a guide from the publishers with discussion questions available online for printing or by ordering through the publishers.  You can also go online to sites such as Addlit.org or enotes.com.  You wouldn't be getting these to have your kid do extra homework on it, but to help you make sure you are as prepared with possible discussions in your own home, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; likely discussion questions the teacher might assign.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If the Parent Decides to Look for an Alternative&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be very clear with your child as to why you are making your decision.  Let him know he can blame you when his friends start asking questions on the matter and that won't bother you at all.  Don't disallow the reading altogether - ever.  Let your child know, it is only for now, at some point reading the book or not will be up to him, it just isn't time yet.  Give some idea about approximately how far away that time is.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find out what the learning objectives the teacher is approaching with the book are so you can find an alternative book through which similar learning objectives can be addressed.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you bring your concerns to the teacher/school, do so gently, non-critically and un-emotionally.  Make your concerns about your son and your family dynamics, not about the school.  When parents approach a school talking about a decision being wrong across the  board, they are creating their own resistance, but in &lt;strong&gt;most&lt;/strong&gt; cases, if you approach the school stating why something doesn't work for your child in particular, followed by an alternative option or two you think would work on your end if it works for them, the school will oblige and work with you on it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't drum up drama finding out how many parents feel as you do about it.  This approach, while making you feel supported, often stirs up a fight rather than working toward a solution.  It also leaves your son at risk of being that much more embarassed when the book gets read in the class anyway.  If you know of a friend or two that have similar feelings bring them in as a part of the solution by saying, &quot;I know of at least two other families that would be willing to have their children read another book with my son instead so maybe the whole class could be offered a choice between two books so no one child is singled out and to offer an option for the kids of parents that share my concerns (or something to that effect).  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-23T14:32:14.403" LastActivityDate="2013-11-23T14:32:14.403" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10506" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10508" CreationDate="2013-11-21T05:30:11.010" Score="5" ViewCount="681" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have returned to work after 8 weeks post-natal (I am now at 10 weeks) and although I pump with a top of the line electric pump, I am just not producing quite enough to keep up with my infant's appetite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plenty of people suggest just supplementing with formula, but others say doing so means my body won't be getting messages about how much baby really needs and the problem will just perpetuate itself and slowly get worse - because I'm not keeping up now, there is a reason my body already isn't getting the message well enough.  Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-21T13:57:38.683" LastActivityDate="2019-02-21T13:57:38.683" Title="Now that I'm working, my milk production can't keep up - What can I do to increase it?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|working-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10506" CreationDate="2013-11-21T06:28:57.613" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a few suggestions based on my own experience and the experience of friends:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stay hydrated; dehydration will negatively impact your milk supply. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sleep (safely) with your baby. Increased access to night nursing will help maintain milk supply. Even if you only keep the baby in your bed part of the night it will help. Ideally you will become so practiced at night nursing that you and your baby will accomplish feeding without fully waking so your rest won't suffer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fenugreek is an herb you can take to increase your milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to pump more often during the day when you are at work so your body knows to keep producing milk. Keeping a photo of your baby or an item if clothing that smells like your baby can also help the pumping process.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you are home, wear your baby in a sling or carrier as much as possible. This increased closeness will encourage more frequent feeding and help milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes you can do everything &quot;right&quot; but your body just won't cooperate.  Sometimes our lives are too complicated and busy, or our workplace isn't supportive or trying to pump enough milk is too stressful. That's ok; your baby needs you healthy and happy so do what is right for you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-11-21T06:28:57.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10510" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10517" CreationDate="2013-11-21T07:36:42.097" Score="2" ViewCount="248" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby boy was 3.780 kg (8.33 pounds) when he was born, and now after a month my wife and I We took him at pediatrician to weigh him and check is everything is ok.&#xA;So He is 5.500 (12.12 pounds) now, and I know it is a little more then I expect, but is it a normal for baby to gain almost 1.800 kg. What is your experience with this?&#xA;I think the reason is that he eats much more formula then his mother milk, (because the formula has much much more calories).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4991" LastEditorUserId="4991" LastEditDate="2013-11-21T07:45:42.767" LastActivityDate="2013-11-21T12:46:40.490" Title="Baby weight after 1st month" Tags="|newborn|weight|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10511" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10528" CreationDate="2013-11-21T07:45:10.013" Score="3" ViewCount="14366" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yesterday my baby boy cried a lot and he became some kind of blue, I think it's because he was crying for a 3-5 minutes (this doesn't happen before, it's because We had to wake him from sleep :) ), I just wonder is this is a normal behavior, anyway he has a normal skin color, just when he cries he is a little bit of red.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4991" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-11-22T06:33:22.080" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T09:18:51.160" Title="Skin turns blue after long crying" Tags="|newborn|health|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2013-11-22T13:01:59.397" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10511" CreationDate="2013-11-21T09:02:49.807" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The term used for this condition is 'cyanosis'. It's a bluish discoloration of the skin (and sometimes mucous membranes). The sole reason for this is lack of adequate amount of oxygen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the baby cries a lot, the breathing does not happen properly as a result of what cyanosis happen. It's utterly a normal physiological process and you need not worry about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He turn red when he cries a bit -that's because while crying the muscles are contracted and they work harder that boosts the blood circulation locally. This is also normal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2013-11-21T09:02:49.807" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10418" CreationDate="2013-11-21T11:14:33.983" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, even this (more generally useful) question doesn't exactly fit your circumstances.   Your son &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; a mother -- you do not need to be both mother and father.  What you want to know is, are there social/emotional things he would normally learn from his mother &lt;em&gt;because she is a mother&lt;/em&gt;, either explicitly or from his relationship with her, that are essential to his becoming an emotionally and socially well-rounded individual.  Or even, what benefits accrue to a child who has a mother, specifically because she is a mother, not a dad (and how can you supply them)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My short answer is, there is nothing a mother needs to do that a dad cannot also do (see Valkyrie, balanced mama, OldCurmudgeon, et al.); and your concern with his emotional growth, your understanding that you have a stereotypical masculine way of parenting and that there are other ways of doing things, and your sensitivity towards your wife, tell us that you will provide him with everything a mother &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; to supply.  And the extras -- someone to make Mother's Day cards for in school; another person in his life to love him unconditionally -- your wife can still supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My longer take on the question is, I think perhaps you are worrying if at some point &lt;em&gt;style&lt;/em&gt; can become &lt;em&gt;substance&lt;/em&gt;.  That is, maybe you kissed his toes at four weeks, but stopped when he turned three -- but you think your wife would still be doing it.  So he's missing out on that.  Or maybe one of his playmates fell on the playground last week, and you watched his mother swoop down to gather him up, all concern and kisses; while the day before you had just told your son cheerfully, &quot;You're all right, buddy,&quot; and watched while he picked himself up and, somewhat uncertainly, began playing again.  Or maybe you're wondering about all those long discussions about feelings that women are supposed to have!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, to the question of whether your son needs the things you see other kids' mothers doing, I would answer, &quot;No.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need lots of loving touch.  That can be lots of hugs and kisses; or it can be lots of wrestling matches on the living room floor, then sitting side-by-side afterwards to watch the ball game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to have their physical hurts taken care of.  Anything serious you will deal with; for minor scrapes, &lt;em&gt;everybody&lt;/em&gt; has their own style.  I know a mom who cheerfully tells her three girls, &quot;Just rub it!&quot; even after one gets hit by a pitch.  And another who says, &quot;Shake it off!&quot; and has taught her daughter to brush her hands against each other briskly, like she was shaking sand off them.  My own style was to kiss it better, but around age three I started also telling my daughter, &quot;Yup, that one will hurt for a minute, then be better,&quot; or &quot;That will hurt for five minutes.&quot;  And while we're none of us happy to see our daughters get smashed into the boards during a rough game, BTW, we certainly don't jump up and run down to the ice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to be told explicitly, &quot;I love you.&quot;  I'm sure you do that!  But also, when I come home from work, sometimes I just stand and look at my daughter, letting only my face show that I think she's the most amazing creature in the universe and I am so gratified to have her -- and after a few moments her face totally lights up and she comes and puts her arms around me.  (Even she was just about to open her mouth to scold me for being late, BTW -- true story.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to understand how feelings work, that everyone has them, that a lot of what people say and do is driven by their feelings, and that it's possible for one person to take something personally when another person didn't mean it that way.  I have long talks with my daughter at bedtime about things that happened during the day, and how she felt about something -- and how did she think another kid felt about something? -- frequently comes up.  But I know a mom of two sons who has these discussions in the car, on their way somewhere.  In fact, if either of the boys needs to talk about something, he asks to go for a ride.  I'm guessing there's something safe about the way they don't sit facing each other in these conversations that lowers the risk or the intensity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also add that you can talk to him about style; tell him that every parent wants to protect their child, but we also want them to grow up as strong, capable individuals, and we all have different ideas of how to balance the two. I'm very meta with my daughter; I tell her what I'm trying to accomplish in raising her (though I don't tell her all my tricks!), just like I show her how the world works in other ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.  I know it was long!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2013-11-21T19:40:33.470" LastActivityDate="2013-11-21T19:40:33.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10510" CreationDate="2013-11-21T12:46:40.490" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids gain three times their birth weight and grow twice their birth length in their first year.  If the pediatrician isn't concerned, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it either. Infants are VERY good at self-regulating caloric intake to coincide with growth requirements (once you hit that first big growth spurt, you KNOW 'cause the kid WILL NOT want to sleep if the possibility of eating exists, and then 48-72 hours the sleep will rule, and then the clothes don't fit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both mine were majority formula-fed due to milk supply issues; my daughter was the first child our pediatrician had seen who didn't lose even an ounce of birth weight initially (most drop a few ounces the first few days).  Now at 5.5, she's at a perfectly normal weight for her height and age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-21T12:46:40.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10520" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10521" CreationDate="2013-11-21T20:42:54.823" Score="6" ViewCount="2369" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today our two week old was (and still is) unusually agitated. She slept two hours less than her up-until-now average, requested breastfeeding for entire one hour more and was more cry-prone than ever. She has trouble going to sleep, won't sleep on her own, has to either fall asleep on a breast or be cuddled. And when she does sleep, she won't sleep for too long and will soon wake up crying, instead of usual calm looking around or fussing. And she rejects a dummy which she liked before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have followed all elements on every newborn checklist we could find. She has no fever. Her clothes seem perfectly comfortable (she wore them few days before). Everything we can think of seems to be in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do such days happen? Is there anything we can do to calm, soothe her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT: One day later.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter seems to have calmed down. She does not seem to have grown yet, but she does seem &quot;smarter&quot; and more agile. She rotates her head more quickly, follows our faces with her eyes more &quot;fluently&quot; (she used to do it, but in large &quot;jumps&quot;). She also spends more time just lying and looking around at the world. I guess she gathered enough experience points and was going through a level-up;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum up, it seems I shouldn't have worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2013-11-22T11:10:48.547" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T11:10:48.547" Title="Unusually agitated and constantly sucking two-week old" Tags="|behavior|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10520" CreationDate="2013-11-21T23:22:15.837" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like your baby has hit her first growth spurt. Expect her to feed more frequently, sleep less and be cranky for a few days, possibly longer. More info here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/ask-heidi/baby-growth-spurts.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/ask-heidi/baby-growth-spurts.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-11-21T23:22:15.837" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10523" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10524" CreationDate="2013-11-22T03:46:12.300" Score="14" ViewCount="2620" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter started middle school this year (she is 11) and tonight at dinner she told me that during an assembly some teachers had shared tragic stories about friends and family members who abused drugs and/or alcohol. One story involved a teen who drank until he passed out and then died from choking on his own vomit.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our conversation evolved into us talking about the kinds of situations she might be exposed to as she is getting older and how she might act in those situations. We talked about what she could do if she was at a party where kids were drinking and/or passing out. I wanted to emphasize ways that she can stay safe, help her friends stay safe and most importantly that she can always call her parents if she's in a dicey situation and needs help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She assured me there was nothing to worry about because she would never drink or touch drugs. I told her I think it's great that she feels that way now, but that should things change I would rather have her talk to me about it than feel that she can't because she once promised she would never do those things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of our talk, she asked me if I drank alcohol in high school and if I smoked pot before I was 18 (where we live recreational cannabis is legal for 21 &amp;amp; up). I told her that I did experiment a bit and gave her some context around that and told her I wished I had waited until I was older. She seemed satisfied with that for now, but I know these questions will come up again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My early teen years were traumatic and I was rebellious and self-destructive. My later teen years and 20's were pretty colorful as well. How do I balance honesty and open communication with keeping communications age-appropriate and constructive? Do I just edit out large parts of my life experience? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2018-07-13T19:29:00.400" Title="How much of my prior drug use should I disclose to my tween daughter?" Tags="|pre-teen|communication|drugs|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10523" CreationDate="2013-11-22T04:41:21.327" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds to me, like you and your daughter had a very healthy and honest conversation - and trust me when I say, those are the kind that work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I worked with adolescents for ten years as a health and science teacher as well as was advisor to a class of about 20 eighth grade kids each year.  Considering the fact that I had around 100 kids each year I taught, you can say I've got quite a lot of experience with this age group (not to mention training) and there is nothing they appreciate more than honesty packaged with the respect to know how it is today may be different from how it is tomorrow.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The students I had whose parents took an open &quot;I'll answer their questions, but not neccessarily volunteer every bloody detail&quot; were often the parents who really did know what was going on with their kids, struggle and strain or peace and perfection and everything in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say, just make sure your conversations stay with that same goal in mind and also always get the idea across that you made mistakes and see your choices during your teen years as self-destructive.  I'm guessing from what you've already said that she is a smart kid who will want to learn from your mistakes rather than follow them anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T04:41:21.327" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2013-11-22T04:50:22.417" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I remember from my childhood which I now think were appropriate:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dexter's laboratory&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Tsubasa&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Captain Tsubasa&lt;/a&gt; (great for promoting soccer)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Batman Beyond - a great choice for a boy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tom and Jerry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mr Bean (though not all children appreciate the humor)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ed, Edd'n'Eddy - surprisingly smart, in its own way&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;SeaQuest&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And also from modern toons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Star Wars Clone Wars&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T04:50:22.417" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2013-11-22T05:24:59.470" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We actually don't watch a lot of TV at my house (we had our cable turned off as my husband and I felt most of our favorite shows were available on netflix and we didn't mind waiting a season or two and getting stuff late - why pay when you don't have to?)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means we don't have access to all the newest stuff, but, we borrow a lot of Bill Nye from the library, watch Curious George with the little guy we watch and use netflix and youtube a lot (Netflix or Hulu might have the Andy Griffiths Show? - If not, you could probably find it on youtube or through a library).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter loves history so she has watched a lot of stuff from the BBC about various aspects of world history (I preview everything though).  She LOVES Liberty's Kids (which I didn't see anyone else mention) which is a cartoon about the American Revolution - it is historical fiction that is a little overly dramatic at times in terms of effects, but gets the idea across and introduces historical figures, events and places.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think Little House on the Prairie with Michael Landon is still in syndication - It was a great show after-all and if they've already read any of the books, it might be especially fun to watch.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've also enjoyed &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Macaulay&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;David Macaulay&lt;/a&gt; based stuff, like &quot;Castle&quot; and &quot;Cathedral,&quot; but especially the series based on &quot;The Way Things Work&quot; with the wooly mammoths (must have book for the science home library by the way).  Mechanical Advantage and various simple machines are the aim of the series.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately, we've been having fun watching the &quot;How the States Got their Shapes&quot; series for geography lessons.  That one is aimed at adults, but most of the episodes I've seen are pretty wholesome and funny with only an occasional thing thrown in that causes her to go, &quot;what?&quot;  (For example, I had to explain dry counties vs &quot;wet ones.&quot;  She asked, &quot;why do the people at the bar care if the next county gets a lot of rain or not?&quot; Obviously, when watching shows intended for adults - even if I've previewed it, we watch together so she can ask questions like that.  Also, since history is a big part of the show, war (like the civil war) and the violence that comes with it is often mentioned, and even little snippets of reenactments might be shown - but she loves history so it is just something we've addressed.  I try to be careful to be sure it isn't gratuitous though (History channel stuff often is).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-22T13:14:12.250" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T13:14:12.250" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2013-11-22T06:19:01.530" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is late in the day, but as a suggestion on top of all the other posts. This is an idea to include educational with interesting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wildlife shows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We love watching David Attenborough's documentaries about wildlife; the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.davidattenborough.co.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Life Series&lt;/a&gt;. In fact any wildlife documentary (though you may worry about animals hunting prey, in terms of upsetting your son). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/shows/deadly-60&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Deadly 60&lt;/a&gt; which is a wildlife show and rates how &lt;em&gt;deadly&lt;/em&gt; animals are, and is very interesting and entertaining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is another show out now is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.abc.net.au/abc3/shows/13189.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bindi's Bootcamp&lt;/a&gt;, the late Steve Irwin's daughter. The kids on the show have fun challenges and it's educational.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These shows are age flexible, I enjoy them, my teenage kids enjoy them and they also enjoyed these types of shows when they were younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T06:19:01.530" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10511" CreationDate="2013-11-22T06:32:49.830" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;@Maulik is correct, cyanosis is the term. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;However, cyanosis is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003215.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;not normal&lt;/a&gt;. You need to take your baby to a Pediatrician, asap.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I just wonder is this is a normal behavior,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies can have mottled skin, usually as the result of the cold (1). Even a crying baby will inhale large gulps of air, which is why some people are keen to hear a newborn cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention this occurred when you woke you baby up, it may be possible removing him from the warm environment where he slept, especially if the infant is being undressed or having a nappy change, he may have gotten cold and his skin has become a mottled blue from the cold.  However, this is pure conjecture, as I have no way of saying whether this is normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cyanosis can be the sign of a serious medical condition. I would seek prompt medical advice. Some examples: I have a nephew (now 20) who had cyanosis as a baby, as he had a serious heart condition (requiring surgery), I have had episodes of cyanosis due to a major vein to my heart being totally blocked (requiring surgery). These are just some examples of how serious the causes of cyanosis can be. I also have a condition called Raynaud's phenomenon (2) which cause peripheral cyanosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only time my babies were blue when crying was when they were first born, and that is because they required oxygen, as they were premature. A healthy baby will usually go red with a good crying bout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyanosis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Central cyanosis&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;   Central cyanosis is often due to a circulatory or ventilatory problem that leads to poor blood oxygenation in the&#xA;  lungs. It develops when arterial saturation drops to ≤85% or ≤75%.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Acute cyanosis can be a result of asphyxiation or choking, and is one&#xA;  of the surest signs that respiration is being blocked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Central cyanosis may be due to the following causes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Central Nervous System (impairing normal ventilation):&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Respiratory System:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cardiac Disorders:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Blood:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Others:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Peripheral cyanosis&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Peripheral cyanosis is the blue tint in fingers&#xA;  or extremities, due to inadequate circulation. The blood reaching the&#xA;  extremities is not oxygen rich and when viewed through the skin a&#xA;  combination of factors can lead to the appearance of a blue color. All&#xA;  factors contributing to central cyanosis can also cause peripheral&#xA;  symptoms to appear, however peripheral cyanosis can be observed&#xA;  without there being heart or lung failures. Small blood vessels may be&#xA;  restricted and can be treated by increasing the normal oxygenation&#xA;  level of the blood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Peripheral cyanosis may be due to the following causes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;All common causes of central cyanosis Reduced cardiac output (e.g.&#xA;  heart failure, hypovolaemia)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Cold exposure (1)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;   Arterial obstruction (e.g.&#xA;  peripheral vascular disease, Raynaud phenomenon (2))&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Venous obstruction&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  (e.g. deep vein thrombosis)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Now that I have frightened everybody. &lt;strong&gt;This does NOT mean there IS definitely something wrong with your baby.&lt;/strong&gt; We cannot see your baby and the color is an interpretation you are giving us.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-11-22T09:18:51.160" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T09:18:51.160" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10506" CreationDate="2013-11-22T11:00:07.207" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you currently can't keep up with demand, supplementing with formula will not change the amount of milk you produce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will still produce what you currently manage, but will also be able to top up baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did exactly this - giving all three of ours a bottle of formula as the last feed at night. Benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I got to be useful at the nice end of the baby, as opposed to just cleaning!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They slept longer through the night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They got used to being able to take a bottle, so in a few situations I could feed them during the day if my wife needed time away (sometimes mothers do need to just get time away from babies - this is a good thing)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T11:00:07.207" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10530" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10540" CreationDate="2013-11-22T12:07:38.563" Score="0" ViewCount="25603" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's only a few days old and she has been breastfeading regularly.&#xA;A rash has developed on her chin which doesn't seem to bother her too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should it be treated (or perhaps left alone)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6141" LastActivityDate="2013-11-23T05:26:36.417" Title="Newborn has a red rash on her chin" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2013-12-15T07:03:50.963" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10530" CreationDate="2013-11-22T12:55:08.453" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can try some extra baby-specific moisturizer for a few days, if the pediatrician gives you the all-clear.  Our son had ridiculously sensitive skin his first year or so, and only daily lotioning kept it under control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T12:55:08.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10418" CreationDate="2013-11-22T12:56:55.243" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer this, I am going to meander a little, this may seem irrelevant at first, but I hope you'll see it threads together. I have not focused so much on step by step solutions, but as a holistic approach to your situation and the complex nature of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Background.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly I would like to give you some details of our family history, as in your situation, I have found it helpful to have identification with people in similar situations. That feeling of being singled out, isolated and overwhelmed can be a little relieved when we know we are not alone in being so alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can really identify with your situation. We have a sort of reverse situation. My children lost their Dad a long time ago (ten years).. and about 11 years ago I was diagnosed with a disabling and life threatening illness (rapidly progressing &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000429.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;systemic sclerosis&lt;/a&gt; and severe recalcitrant recurring polymyositis).   So in some ways I have had your challenges and to a much lesser extent your wife's challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my two youngest were babies, my muscles were so wasted I could not lift them, in fact I could not roll over in bed. I was undergoing chemotherapy during this time when my husband committed suicide. Little were we to know that this was to be the beginning of seven years of chemotherapy and other immunosuppressive treatment, in excess of 130 hospitalisations, many ambulance trips, surgical procedures and close calls. I can safely say, the past decade has been a living nightmare or hell like experience, that only people who have experienced such surreal trauma like conditions can relate to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The problems.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Emotional.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dealing with such a multifaceted dynamic, you are dealing with your, your children's and your wife's grief. This is an ongoing thing, not something that has an end point. It is chronic and difficult to resolve. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Physical.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can only guess that you would be taking on much of the day to day care of your wife, as you have expressed you are in love and would probably want to do this. This can lead to exhaustion, adding to already depleted energy supplies and time constraints, as the sole provider and carer for the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Social.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Society is not well equipped to support people with chronic ongoing grief. It is a little understood area and people, frequently, expect time to heal everything, when indeed, over time, situations and distress can be exacerbated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Coping.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Changing your thinking.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying to fulfil the role of both Mum and Dad can really do your head in (I know from experience). You don't have that softer feminine person to bounce your traditional  authoritative Dad stance off. Unfortunately there is no easy way around this, and requires a lot of extra communication with your son to explain how you bounce between the roles. It's like being good cop and bad cop in one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being four, your son is old enough to start grasping simple concepts, and it doesn't hurt to start discussing these things now, as it will help him cope as he grows up and will form the basis of firm communication between you both. When I am being (what my children perceive as) harsh and strict, I have to explain to my kids that, I am the Mum and the Dad, and it's my job to protect them, as well as nurture them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am finding that I have to maintain the harder line, disciplinarian role more than the nurturing mother role. As they will push the boundaries like crazy, and being a solo pilot, I am having to fly a tighter ship so to speak. As a sole parent, and a Dad, you may also find yourself, as indicated, taking a firmer role and your son having a firmer upbringing than with both active Mum and Dad, but this is not necessarily a bad thing. This is where the communication comes in. You can stop and take stock, pat his head or scoop him up in your arms and tell him how much you love him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day children thrive on strong, clear, healthy boundaries and love. Love without the boundaries is as toxic as boundaries without love (my opinion). Having  a predominantly male parenting role is not a bad thing, just an experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is, you may well find there is less you need to change as a parent, and just some adjustments in your thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are resilient, having said that, they do grow up and carry unresolved burdens. You  are setting your son a brilliant example of how to be a loving, responsible parent and a partner. You love your wife and it shows, you love your son and it shows. These are things that are more valuable than worrying about fulfilling a certain role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Practical things.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are three practical ways to ameliorate having a  male parent as a &lt;em&gt;sole&lt;/em&gt; parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Affection.&lt;/strong&gt; Stop and remember to cuddle. Never stop telling your son that you love him. Even as a man. These are things more readily available from a Mum in a day to day setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Emotion.&lt;/strong&gt; Do not hide your feelings from your son. As parents we, naturally, tend to hide our emotional difficulties from our children. I have found it is a good thing to sometimes let our children see us cry. Especially as a man, when it gets too much and you feel despair over what has happened to the love of your life, let your son see you cry and tell him why you are sad. This is something that children are more likely to see with their Mums, it's important that you allow yourself to show some of this to your son (not every day, so it is a burden for him, he needs to feel you are strong and can cope, but that it is also ok, to break down at times and feel weak and vulnerable).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3. Female role models.&lt;/strong&gt; I have found male role models for my children, without becoming involved in relationships. This is important for you also, as your wife is still there. If there is a grandmother or aunt, neighbor or close friend of your wife's that can be this. Otherwise it is a matter of finding (not creating, it will fall into place) an appropriate person through some activity or interest that your son has. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my children's case we had a shortage of male role models (my brother died the year after their father) and  it has become Martial Arts. My oldest son now teaches it, he has his mentor (a black belt) and as a mature 19 year old, he has become a great role model for his 13 yo brother and 12 yo sister. There has not always been an appropriate role model, but I believe it is better to have no role model than a bad one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, I think that your son will be fine. With a father who cares enough to post here and the person you are, things have a way of working out. I can say this to you as someone who has travelled many dark years, and we still have our moments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to be mindful that this situation will develop over time and you may not find yourself coping so well at times and it is important to forgive yourself for being human.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you need to be mindful of is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/heart-disease-recognizing-caregiver-burnout&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;caregiver burnout&lt;/a&gt;. The following quote from WebMD is good and will also help you to identify much of what you are feeling, as normal for your circumstance. I think the point about Role Confusion also spills over to your parenting role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What Causes Caregiver Burnout?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to&#xA;  neglect their own emotional, physical, and spiritual health. The&#xA;  demands on a caregiver's body, mind, and emotions can easily seem&#xA;  overwhelming, leading to fatigue and hopelessness -- and, ultimately,&#xA;  burnout. Other factors that can lead to caregiver burnout include:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Role confusion:&lt;/strong&gt; Many people are confused when thrust into the role of&#xA;  caregiver. It can be difficult for a person to separate her role as&#xA;  caregiver from her role as spouse, lover, child, friend, etc.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unrealistic expectations:&lt;/strong&gt; Many caregivers expect their involvement to&#xA;  have a positive effect on the health and happiness of their loved one.&#xA;  This may not always be realistic.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lack of control:&lt;/strong&gt; Many caregivers&#xA;  become frustrated by a lack of money, resources, and skills to&#xA;  effectively plan, manage, and organize their loved one's care.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unreasonable demands:&lt;/strong&gt; Some caregivers place unreasonable burdens upon&#xA;  themselves, in part because they see providing care as their exclusive&#xA;  responsibility.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other factors:&lt;/strong&gt; Many caregivers cannot recognize when&#xA;  they are suffering burnout and eventually get to the point where they&#xA;  cannot function effectively. They may even become sick themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T12:56:55.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10533" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10534" CreationDate="2013-11-22T14:26:50.237" Score="19" ViewCount="771" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sleep deprivation is a major problems for parents of a newborn child. Are there methods which could help young parents cope with sleep deprivation or reduce it? Have you tried any of them? What is your personal experience?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-12-16T13:05:48.263" Title="Methods for reducing or coping with sleep deprivation" Tags="|infant|newborn|parents|sleep-deprivation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10533" CreationDate="2013-11-22T14:50:59.357" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sleep deprivation comes with being a parent of a baby, however you will cope. It isn't fun but you will get through it. Although you cannot avoid it here are some general recommendations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get your baby on a routine: Every parent I know that tried baby-led sleep patterns gave up and instituted a routine, because they really help get your child on a sleep pattern that is compatible with your life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure you keep taking care of yourself: it's easy to get so involved in your baby's day to day that you forget to look after your own well-being. Try to keep a good healthy diet and some sort of exercise. Work some time to look after yourself into your schedule&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Share responsibilities with your partner: If you plan on breast feeding then expressing some into bottles will allow both parents to feed the baby. This is good for bonding as well as allowing the mother to get some sleep &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn to nap: when your baby naps try to get some rest as well. Try not to obsess about cleaning up and being tidy, if you really need some rest take the opportunity. Keep a nap spot ready to go so you can just dive into it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep on top of the essential tasks: If you let crucial things pile up they can get overwhelming, keep a list of what really needs to be done and when so you can refer to it. When you're exhausted your memory can be like a sieve! &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T14:50:59.357" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10483" CreationDate="2013-11-22T16:23:56.173" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;She probably doesn't realize the younger boy is old enough to notice it.  You say she loves them both, but if she enjoys being with the older boy that much, she has probably been indulging herself by asking to see the older boy more, under the &quot;what the younger one doesn't know won't hurt him&quot; theory.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell her the younger is old enough to notice, and it's time she &quot;grandma up&quot; (so to speak) and take that into account.  Point out that it really is not good for &lt;em&gt;either&lt;/em&gt; child for her to favor one and slight the other.  (My theory is that children are okay if you have favorites, as long as you don't treat them differently.)  The boys are going to be together long after she is gone; a good relationship with each other now, free of resentment and contention, will help set them up to be friends all their lives.  (If necessary you can point out that when they're reminiscing at some family barbeque together forty years in the future, she'll want their memories of grandma to be good ones.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This assumes she is a reasonable, kind-hearted person, of course.  If your mother has deficits in either of these areas, you'll have to take stronger measures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; liked Karl Bielefeldt's comment about when the older son is a teenager, the younger son will still be the perfect age to enjoy spending time with her.  And, er, you might point that out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-11-22T16:23:56.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10533" CreationDate="2013-11-22T20:37:15.097" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;To reduce sleep deprivation, sleep when the baby sleeps and do not prioritize tidying or cleaning over sleeping. Work out what things you can do in the company of an awake baby and do those things then so that you can sleep. Many babies love to be in a sling while you shop, vacuum, or read something, or to be in a baby seat or swing while you cook or tidy. They are less happy to be in a sling while you type on a keyboard or talk on the phone, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To manage to function well on less sleep than you really need or most certainly less uninterrupted sleep, make sure your room is perfect for sleeping - if you need to, change your mattress, change the kind of blankets or pillows you have, get blackout curtains, a white-noise thingy if there is noise from outside, and so on. Don't use alcohol or caffeine for a while. If you have trouble falling asleep in the little time you have and then you stress anxiously &quot;I can't get asleep and now it's going to be even worse!&quot; then learn relaxation exercises or meditation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to set your life up so you can be safe and functional even if you're a little groggy. This might mean taking the bus or walking instead of driving, or outsourcing the bookkeeping for your family business. To prepare for things like losing your keys, locking yourself out of the car or house, etc, make plenty of copies of keys and hide them on the property or leave them with a neighbor. When you cook, cook a large batch and freeze some so that another time you don't need to cook. Plan your meals in advance and put the plan on the fridge where you can see it, so when you forget, you will be reminded what has defrosted or what has been bought and needs to be cooked before it spoils. Use &quot;information radiators&quot; like wall calendars, bulletin boards, written todo lists and the like to spare yourself from having to remember or from having to tell your spouse that something important is or isn't done. Sleep deprived people forget things. Technology can help to remind you. This sort of preparation can smooth over the rough patches dramatically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many families choose one parent whose sleep will get back to normal much sooner (eg Daddy is going back to work so his sleep can't be messed with) and one who handles nighttime parenting and possibly gets a nap in the daytime. Even if both parents have returned to work sometimes they make this deal, with the up-at-night parent napping in the evening when the other parent is also home, or the up-at-night parent holding a job that doesn't require a lot of mental acuity or physical dexterity. If this is what you plan to do, make sure both parents agree this is the plan. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually somewhere between 6 months and a year your sleep is close to normal, and then eventually you will forget the details of it. That's how second children come to be :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-11-26T13:44:49.683" LastActivityDate="2013-11-26T13:44:49.683" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2013-11-23T04:06:31.510" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I didn't work from home when my daughter was a baby but I did take her to work with me. I worked at a small children's boutique and a lot of my job involved working on the computer. Because the computer was on top of the cash wrap it was inaccessible to the baby; even as a toddler she had no way of climbing up there. So she played with toys on the floor and I stood and did my work and kept an eye on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So maybe a standing work staton would be useful in your situation. I found that she was always less interested in what I was doing if I was standing, be it computer work or the dishes. Standing also makes it easy to see what the little one is up to while you work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-11-23T04:06:31.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10539" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10555" CreationDate="2013-11-23T04:58:53.553" Score="7" ViewCount="3801" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year old daughter is fascinated with boys already and has 28 of them lined up to &quot;marry&quot; her.  She flirts like crazy and frankly, it is amazing to watch how she can get these boys to do just about anything she asks - and I don't think she even realizes how wrapped around her finger she has them.  I think the fact that they &quot;fall in line&quot; so easily makes her believe she can marry them if she wants that much more - maybe she will marry one of them one day (one never knows really), but for now, I wish she'd just give it a rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just the other day she also told me, &quot;I think I've got boobs coming mom.  How long til I can actually get married?&quot;  She doesn't really, but she is excited about the idea of it so believes it anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know girls are obsessed with marriage sometimes, but this is actually pretty crazy.  My husband and I have had a few laughs over it, but it also gets us a little nervous sometimes too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How common is this?  How do I chill her out a little and not be so anxious and obsessed about it?  &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; should I be worried about it getting worse in adolescence or is it just a &quot;practicing&quot; phase?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-24T23:22:52.560" Title="Boy Crazy at Seven" Tags="|relationships|primary-schooler|gender|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10530" CreationDate="2013-11-23T05:26:36.417" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My babies used to get that from moisture that collected (milk, sweat, and saliva) on the chin during breastfeeding, combined with friction. You can try patting the chin dry during breastfeeding or putting a soft cloth between chin and breast during feeds. Left alone, it will probably clear on its own, though, as baby ages and gets better at feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-23T05:26:36.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2273" CreationDate="2013-11-23T05:56:38.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I may be going out on a limb (for this crowd!) but I will say Phineas and Ferb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's on one of those blingy, commercially channels (Disney?), and you'll have to talk to your kids about the atrocious gender stereotyping, but with that exception the level of intelligence and humor is orders of magnitude higher than anything I remember from my childhood.  We don't watch much TV at my house, but my daughter discovered it while flipping channels two years ago at my mom's.  I walked in to tell her to turn it off and got hooked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't say it's exactly educational, but it's free of sexual innuendo (or everything I've seen so far is), and I have more than once pointed out to my daughter how positive and kind Phineas is, even when people are clearly trying to be mean to him.  (Kindness and cheerfulness are high on my value list.)  Most of the jokes and SF references went over my daughter's head when she first started watching it, but she liked the action and adventures.  Now that she's ten and does get some of the jokes, watching it with her is even more fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-11-23T05:56:38.097" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-30T15:38:39.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10542" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-23T06:42:49.827" Score="15" ViewCount="1259" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter understands these are characters, not real people.  She writes stories herself, mostly for school, and understands that &quot;something has to happen.&quot;  Yet the death of any character with more than half a paragraph of development will set her crying, and she'll have flashbacks for weeks.  &quot;Mommy, help me stop thinking about Frank!&quot; she'll say in a panic, referring to a throw-away character in the first chapter of one of the Harry Potter books; and I had warned her in advance what was going to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes, she is probably morally and empathically (though not physically) over-sensitive, but the real-life stuff she has a handle on.  She is resilient in dealing with slights from classmates, for example.  She is fairly good at challenging kids if she sees them being unfair to other kids.  (With the side-effect that there is virtually no bullying in her grade, which is also still free of the mean-girl phenomenon, BTW.)  It's the over-empathizing with well-drawn characters that is causing her so much distress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rumors are the kids will be assigned &lt;em&gt;Bridge to Terabithia&lt;/em&gt; at the end of the year, and even though I've already told her the nature of the tragedy at the end of the book, I am afraid she will be devastated if she has to read it.  I have read balanced mama's two related posts, and I can probably get her assigned another book if I have to, but will she have to avoid serious (and not-so-serious) literature for the rest of her life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update, 20 months later:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never found a magic bullet.  My daughter has gradually adjusted, though it has been painful for her, and her tolerance for character death remains lower than her peers'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We went back to the Harry Potter books last summer/fall and finished all of them.  At this time she was unhappy but resigned at minor &quot;good guy&quot; character deaths, and very sad about the deaths of the two major characters.  For a few weeks afterwards she would mention how sad it was that they died, and we would talk about it, but she did not seem to need major help dealing with her feelings, as she had with Frank.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She got through &lt;em&gt;Bridge to Terabithia&lt;/em&gt; with about the same amount of sadness, mainly because I told her what was coming.  She did even better with &lt;em&gt;Holes&lt;/em&gt; -- again I let her know what was coming -- and she handled &lt;em&gt;The Giver&lt;/em&gt; without any warnings (other than a long discussion about dystopias/utopias), though we did need to talk about certain scenes afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do believe reading together and deconstructing stories with her has helped.  So does comforting her when she's sad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2015-07-12T22:57:47.053" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T15:19:16.207" Title="How can I help my ten-year-old not be traumatized by the deaths of characters in books?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10476" CreationDate="2013-11-23T07:12:54.380" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Few studies have been done on this topic, and mostly the papers written on it have emphasized the destructive consequences of not telling children the whole truth promptly after death. Mostly those studies were done in the 60s and 70s, at a time when it was quite common not to tell children, and the damage done includes distorted mourning processes and developmental interference (Dunne-Maxim, Dunne, and Hauser 1987; Goldman 1996; Grollman 1971, 1990; Hammond 1980; Hewett 1980, Jewett 1982). In &quot;Children of Suicide: the Telling and the Knowing&quot; (Cain, 2002), the author suggests that this approach is not absolute, that there is a difference between being told and knowing, and that the “why” part of the explanation affects its reception in children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Points raised in the paper, with some paraphrasing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Immediately following a parent's death-and for some time thereafter-children's needs are multiple, and often urgent. The most  pressing questions can be about meeting basic needs. Who will walk me to school? Who will make our dinner?... In brief, with children-and  more so with younger children-our needs or parental needs to share   truthfully with the child the specific nature of a parent's death must not be confused with the child's current needs. At times knowing the exact nature of a parent's death is well down the list of   bereaved children's felt needs and concerns.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;For many, especially the younger children, understanding of any form    of death, indeed death itself, is clouded, bewildering,   fragmentary…Though there are a few dissenters, virtually all the    systematic empirical studies indicate that children typically do not  achieve, until the ages of 7 or 8 to 10 or 11, what we choose to call  a mature, realistic understanding of death-its finality,    irreversibility, and universality, as well as the recognition that    the dead are insensate and the cause of death not necessarily    violent. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;When children are confronted (even in distanced, artificial,    psychological test materials) with the concept of death linked to  someone effectively meaningful to them, as contrasted with the    concept of more distant victims' death, children's understanding       of death significantly deteriorates.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Delaying telling for a few months to a year permitted [parents] to    approach the initially dreaded telling in far better control of their  emotions, adapted to their new circumstances, with more perspective    and returning confidence in their parenting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;It is also the case that some parents clearly do try to tell their    child of the specific (suicide) nature of the death, only to meet    with uncompromising resistance from the child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;From a different perspective, parental not telling at times is    child-specific rather than suicide-specific. Some surviving parents   selectively tell one or more of their children, while not telling    others… Usually it is a consideration of age, but also perceived   maturity, the child’s ability to cope, the child’s overt interest in  knowing more. The child not told may have been a favorite and not    likely to handle the notion of that person having killed himself.    Telling one sibling and not others means that sibling has to keep a    secret and the other will eventually feel betrayed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Children who are not told often know.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Some children who are told do not know. They may have been too young    to cognitively understand or they may not have been ready to  understand for emotional reasons. They may know the word but not    fully compute its meaning. They may be told but not believe. Kids may  repress having been told.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;There can be substantial damage done if the “why” is not understood    as intended. For example, children told the parent didn’t want to   live may feel rejected. Told of a “brain illness”, he may worry that   he or the surviving parent will too if they get sick. Told about    severe stresses that led to the suicide, a child may come away with   the idea that suicide is a legitimate choice. Told it was God’s will,  a child may come to believe in a capricious God.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The paper’s author concludes that while few would argue that  “the surviving parent candidly inform their children in a timely fashion of the nature of that parent's death, doing so in a manner reasonably matched to the children's developmental capacities, with no more detail than necessary, and a form of explanation least likely to damage the children's positive image (if extant) of the suicidal parent,” there can be damage done in the telling just as there is in not telling. Delays in telling may be warranted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More than anything the author emphasizes that &lt;strong&gt;telling is a process that happens over years, rather than being an event&lt;/strong&gt;.  “For most the tale will need to be retold and retold, and for virtually all, understandings will be repetitively reshaped as influenced by development, life experiences, and accrual of new information about the death.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cain, A. C. (2002). Children of suicide: The telling and the knowing. &lt;em&gt;Psychiatry&lt;/em&gt;, 65(2), 124-36.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-23T07:12:54.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10542" CreationDate="2013-11-23T08:23:59.897" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a very compassionate and courageous daughter! You told her about the death in Harry Potter, and she read the book anyway - she did not avoid it, though she knew it might be painful for her. Similarly, she does not avoid standing up for kids who are being treated unfairly, though it might be painful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is not panicked about having to read &lt;em&gt;Bridge to Terabithia&lt;/em&gt;, you might follow her lead. Reading literature where a death occurs allows your daughter the opportunity to begin to process something about which she is particularly sensitive. You might read the book with her if at all possible. Hold her and cry together. Agree with her that it is sad, and that it makes sense to cry when you feel sad. If it is still making her sad two weeks later, hold her again and make her feel safe while she cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is panicked by it, consider that your own fears about her upset might be contributing. You could read it together ahead of time, so she is farther along in her processing before she reads it together with her class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being able to face sad things without fear, even though you know they will make you sad, is a trait that can eventually mature into fine parenting, nursing, hospice care, a therapeutic career, or some other compassionate endeavor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt she will avoid serious literature for life, but she will probably become very selective about what she reads, not wasting tears on formulaic tearjerkers but instead choosing the occasional rich piece of literature that is worth her tears! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-23T08:23:59.897" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10542" CreationDate="2013-11-23T13:31:04.843" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I usually just hold my daughter until she says she is ready for me to let go when she starts crying over something when I'm around.  Sometimes I even cry with her a little.  Then, we talk about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question, &quot;will she have to avoid serious literature for the rest of her life?&quot;  I'd agree with the other answer and say no.  The &lt;strong&gt;key is choosing books your child is ready for, but still engage her with difficult themes (like death)&lt;/strong&gt;.  As she matures, she will be ready for increasingly complex and difficult aspects of any given theme.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you'd like to &quot;prepare&quot; her for reading &quot;bridge to T&quot; with her class, I could find some other books that are shorter with similar themes in a simpler format.  You can use a &lt;strong&gt;subject access guide&lt;/strong&gt; to find such books.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1598844067&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This link will take you to one a posting about one I have used&lt;/a&gt;.  They are reference books that allow you to look up children's and YA books based on subject/theme.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things I told my daughter when we read the &lt;em&gt;Little Match Girl&lt;/em&gt;, which has partially helped with other stories is that the cool thing about books is, &lt;strong&gt;if you want the character to live again, all you have to do is pick the story up and read it again&lt;/strong&gt;.  My daughter, likes the idea so much that even though she hates writing stories, she has started writing her own fan fiction-like stories where characters she loved (but &quot;are no longer with us&quot;) magically come back and live again.  Or where she changes the story and finds a way to create story bumps that don't kill people off.  It really seems to help her a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Mary Jo mentions, you can pre-read the book together so she can process things with you first.  This is a great idea because just having heard it once already can make the blow a lot softer the second time around.  My daughter lost it sobbing and crying when Gollum realizes he has lost his ring in The Hobbit the first time we read it, it was no big deal, &quot;I knew what was coming mom so It's all good&quot; - of courses that was nearly two years later so it may have also just been maturation on her part too.  The teacher may have objectives regarding &quot;predicting&quot; however, so teaming up with the teacher even at this point may be helpful in terms of making sure your daughter gets the most out of her experience with the book.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there is nothing wrong with crying, or getting emotional over a particularly sad &quot;scene,&quot; doing so during class might be embarassing or awkward for your child and difficult for her whole class.  I wouldn't bring the possiblity up with her (because then you are planting a seed of doubt that may otherwise never have arisen), but if she expresses this fear (having thought of it on her own), respect it.  Even if you've done a prior read-through, this &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; be an issue if there is to be any &quot;in-class&quot; reading and it still makes your child sad enough to cry more than a quiet tear or two.  Kids can be cruel.  I'd at least give the teacher a &quot;head's up&quot; just in case.  Hopefully, when it comes time for &lt;em&gt;Bridge to Terabithia,&lt;/em&gt; with the class, &lt;strong&gt;your daughter and you will feel she is ready&lt;/strong&gt;, but &lt;strong&gt;if you don't&lt;/strong&gt; you still have options: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel your daughter simply isn't ready for the book yet.  Approach the teacher with your concerns but keep your concerns focused on your child.  You might offer up an &quot;alternative&quot; book reading as an idea.  Simply ask the teacher if there are other novels that will still meet the reading objectives for the unit your daughter can do instead of &quot;Bridge.&quot;  If you read the book, but your daughter is worried about reading in class, have her do the assignments etc. but talk to the teacher about which portions of the book will be read in class and which will be read at home - your daughter can practice with the scenes marked as &quot;in class&quot; reading, or you can see if she can opt out using the excuse she already read the book anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck to you and please let us know how it works out for your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-01T13:21:38.120" LastActivityDate="2013-12-01T13:21:38.120" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10546" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10547" CreationDate="2013-11-23T18:57:11.943" Score="6" ViewCount="29995" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is just now 10 months old and fights naps as much as possible. We try to follow a schedule of 2-3-4 as much as possible, and she's exhausted, but just will not sleep. She stands in her crib, cries inscesently, falls over and hits her head on the crib. If you're in her room with her, she tries to play with you. This will go on for hours. My wife is at her wits end about why she won't sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can even get her right to the verge of passing out, lay her down and she will immediately stand up, cry, the only way she will sleep is if my wife nurses her to sleep. But that's not helpful, and not sustainable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone suggest anything that might help us figure out how to get my daughter to sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3571" LastActivityDate="2017-03-22T20:50:41.883" Title="10 month old won't nap" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10546" CreationDate="2013-11-23T20:52:09.077" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first instinct is to ask more questions.  It is hard to know with kids this age exactly what is going on because there are so many options so a few more details might help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is, if there has been a change in her mobility.  At ten months, many kids are beginning to &quot;cruise&quot; or even walk unsteadily (though walking at this age would be fairly early when considering averages - cruising is when they start to pull themselves up and hold on to something while they &quot;walk&quot; around).  This may seem unrelated, but often developmental milestones coincide with sleep pattern changes as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may be overly tired and especially stimulated from the new physical excertions, or, she may also just be going through a &quot;consolidation&quot; stage where she is sleeping more deeply and fully at night and while she still probably needs a morning nap, it may not need to be as long as it has been in the past (making all her sleep cycles a little - off and difficult for everyone and causing her to be over-tired even though the problem stems from too much sleep).  Children's sleep patterns and they type of sleep they are getting when, changes a little around a year.  Since she is nearing this milestone, she may be experiencing some of the precursors to this change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also the distinct possibility she is teething and needing extra comfort and can't settle because of the discomfort.  I was once told, if we had to teethe as adults we would be driven insane by the intense pressure and pain - and lack of restful sleep it can cause.  Some little known indicators a new tooth is about to pop through include mild fevers and a slightly stuffed up nose.  The other usual indicators like needing to chomp and chew a lot and being fussy, of course, also apply.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The route of the problem dictates slightly different courses of action, but a good place to start might be in watching for clues to whether she is teething or not, if she is, offer her a little baby Tylenol (under the watch of a physician) at times when she needs to sleep to help her sleep be sounder, better quality sleep.  If it is either of the other two your plan of attack might be a bit more complex, but might include the introduction of a transitional sleep aid such as a &quot;lovey&quot; or stuffed animal, or a special blanket, waking her slightly earlier from her morning nap or in the morning after nightime sleep and shifting her sleep so she gets more of it during &quot;night sleep&quot; and less of it during naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is hard to know with kids this age exactly what is going on because there are so many options so a few more details might help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't read the whole thing, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scifun.org/conversations/Conversations4Teachers/Chapter%201.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; may help in better understanding your child's sleep and sleep patterns and how they are likely to change over the coming months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-22T20:50:41.883" LastActivityDate="2017-03-22T20:50:41.883" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10549" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10550" CreationDate="2013-11-24T01:53:36.743" Score="5" ViewCount="457" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 weeks old and has developed a pimple like rash on her forehead. &#xA;Is this a common problem for new babies? &#xA;What things (if any) can I do to alleviate the problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4625" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-06T13:14:02.817" LastActivityDate="2019-01-06T13:14:02.817" Title="Is it normal for a newborn to develop pimples?" Tags="|newborn|health|skin-care|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10549" CreationDate="2013-11-24T03:14:46.490" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes it is common! Just wash with water and a soft cloth. &quot;Baby acne occurs when hormonal changes in the body stimulate oil glands in the baby's skin. The condition can look worse when the baby is crying or fussy, or any other instance that increases blood flow to the skin. Baby acne is harmless and usually resolves on its own within several weeks&quot; (Medline Plus, National Institute of Health).  It lasted about 2 weeks with my firstborn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-24T03:14:46.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6885" CreationDate="2013-11-24T14:36:47.873" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I liked GdD's answer to this one if the problem was really a lack of understanding, but since it was actually the &quot;high-ball technique&quot; we wound up just giving her two things (one from us, one from &quot;santa&quot;) that we just knew she would enjoy.  She learned, we couldn't be manipulated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the Easter bunny brought the puppy ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-09T14:22:42.217" LastActivityDate="2018-11-09T14:22:42.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2013-11-24T17:07:13.870" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Arguments and logic won't work here. I think (personal opinion) that both parents need to want the baby. Otherwise the relationship between parents (and parent-child possibly) will be strained and who knows what could that cause in the long run. So you have to, literally - have to - reach a consensus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest trying to approach the problem from the other side - try to find a house for your larger family, save some money, get a larger car and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are very young - you still have time. And a large age difference (say 7 years) will mean that the eldest child can be helpful in chores and possibly take care of the other babies. Consider it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-07-01T03:55:16.263" LastActivityDate="2014-07-01T03:55:16.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9225" CreationDate="2013-11-24T20:52:33.267" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Tiredness&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tiredness and diabetes may not be very strongly connected. While rapidly changing sugar levels may introduce additional strain on your body, pregnancy puts even more stress on it on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, women often feel very tired and weak during the first trimester. My wife slept around 11 hours, lay a lot during the day and felt constantly tired even without diabetes. I have a friend who, from what she says, feels even worse. Combine all this with morning sickness, hormones, and the psychological stress (OMG I'm going to have a baby;) - and you'll get te picture. All of this is completely normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Gestational Diabetes&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gestational Diabetes has to be properly managed, otherwise it may cause undesirable effects on mother and the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately, a proper diet and some exercise is often enough. The daily amount of calories has to be set based on mother's BMI. The diet must consist of as little simple carbohydrates as possible, to avoid rapid spikes of blood sugar. Especially breakfasts must be chosen properly, because insulin resistance is highest in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moderately intense physical exercise often helps to manage GD. Personally, I'd suggest aerobics (though remember, that not all exercises are good for pregnant women!) - it keeps your heart rate reasonably high and does not introduce heavy stress on your body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always, it is very important to follow your doctors suggestions and consult him whenever you are in doubt. All advice you can find in the Internet, including mine, may be wrong or just not applicable to your specific case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2013-11-25T12:11:13.660" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T12:11:13.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10539" CreationDate="2013-11-24T23:22:52.560" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, here are some of my thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1)  I think age 7 is a pretty common age when kids (girls especially) start viewing the opposite sex as more than just a friend, and they start to realize that, eventually, those opposite-sex relationships will develop into more.  I can remember that we started having &quot;boyfriends&quot; in second grade or so.  I mean, it was stupid and it never amounted to anything (I don't know anyone who married their second-grade boyfriend).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2)  She probably has noticed some girls around her age all ready developing breasts.  I was at her age, unfortunately.  This is an obvious outward sign that some of her classmates/friends are starting to &quot;grow up&quot; and it can be exciting and intriguing for them.  OMG!  The bru-ha-ha that ensued when a girl came to school wearing a bra for the first time in elementary school!  It was practically a rite of passage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3)  The good thing is that &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; seven year olds probably have no clue what those &quot;something more&quot; relationships are going to mean (sex, marriage, etc.).  Some have a vague idea that there are people who are boyfriend/girlfriend, but there are some kids who are more worldly and can start over-sharing information that is questionable for seven-year-old ears.  It might be time to start having &quot;the talk&quot; with her or at least reinforcing things you've all ready talked about before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4)  It's probably not that she's obsessed with marriage so much as what marriage represents:  people who are married are grown ups and grown ups can do whatever they want to do.  At least, that's what kids and teenagers think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5)  She might not be aware 100% that she's able to wrap these boys around her finger--she probably doesn't even realize that she's being a little flirtatious with them.  She just thinks she's being friendly and nice.  But she is probably perfectly aware that she is able to get boys to do things for her and that can feel empowering for anyone.  If it were my daughter (who is blessedly only three right now), I would encourage her to think carefully and make sure she's not &quot;abusing her power&quot;.  Remind her that these boys are her friends and she should treat them kindly as friends--she should not ask them to do things that she wouldn't ask her other friends to do.  You and I both grew up with girls who learned early on to manipulate boys to get what they wanted and that's not how you want your daughter to be.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like she's being pretty normal and she's just using marriage as a way of expressing herself because this can all be pretty complex for a seven year old.  Encourage healthy relationships and friendships.  Maybe she's seeking a little more responsibility and freedom to be a little more &quot;grown up&quot; and maybe you can give her that.  Maybe it is time to go pick out a training bra?  I don't know--that's between you and her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-11-24T23:22:52.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10556" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-25T05:30:11.647" Score="3" ViewCount="275" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter just turned 5 years old 2 weeks ago but until now she refused to sit on a toilet bowl to poop. She only uses the toilet to urinate and we have no problem with this. She even wakes up at night to urinate in the toilet by herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, she refuses to sit on the toilet to poop. When she was 4, she promised to poop in the toilet once she turns 5 years old. Whenever we asked her when she will use the toilet to poop, she says, &quot;When I'm 5.&quot; But until now, still no progress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are very frustrated and don't know what to do. I am thinking that my next course of action is to bring her to a child psychologist to unravel the reason why she refuses to poop in the toilet. When I ask her, she tells me things like &quot;It's wrong&quot; and &quot;It's gross&quot;. I have no idea why she thinks/feels that pooping in a toilet is wrong or gross.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read a very similar &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5095/30519&quot;&gt;question&lt;/a&gt; and read the suggestions as well. I do not believe my daughter has encopresis. I also can very much relate to the problem of that question's OP. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your suggestions will be greatly appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6159" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-07T13:39:26.657" LastActivityDate="2019-02-07T13:39:26.657" Title="5 year old only wants to poop wearing a diaper but refused to poop in toilet bowl" Tags="|primary-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2013-12-05T13:11:28.800" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10557" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10559" CreationDate="2013-11-25T10:06:00.510" Score="9" ViewCount="798" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does anybody know what are the logical basic concepts that a baby could understand?&#xA;For example regarding numbers, I think until the age of 1 they cannot distinguish between the concepts of &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt;. &#xA;And until the age of two they cannot distinguish between &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;three&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, what about the logical connectives, like &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;or&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; and more...&#xA;With my daughter it seems (20 months) that there is no problem with &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt;, but she still seems to not understand the &lt;em&gt;or&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that at that age every single baby follows his own way. But, I know also that they learn according the external incentives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding logical and mathematical concepts, there are three different levels of understanding:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Knowing the difference between numbers&lt;/em&gt;,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;The ability of managing numbers&lt;/em&gt; (at different levels depending on the age).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;To be fascinated by the beauty of math&lt;/em&gt; (and in particular of numbers).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just in trying to explain the differences between these three levels, let me give one example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my family (me, my wife and my daughter) goes to an art museum, I would be the one who would enjoy it the least. Also if technically I'm better than my daughter (translating I'm better in level one and two), I'm not at all able to understand (especially with abstract art) the essence of a painting (I'm lower in level three).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Resuming three different levels of understanding means three different types of external incentives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seem to me (but I didn't already see the links) that the good answers of balanced mama and Valkyrie cover, almost completely, the first two types. But what about the last level?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some years ago I read a book of  &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Tammet&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Daniel Tammet&lt;/a&gt;. He is an &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autistic_savant&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;autistic savant&lt;/a&gt; with particular talent in remembering numbers. What is his strategy? He associates to numbers' surfaces, colours and objects. This is quite common among mathematicians: a demonstration could become a story, where the logical passages became landscapes and objects became characters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general I think that, starting with numbers, our brain  makes, for a certain point of view, completely irrational connections. Moreover I think that our brain starts to make these connections really early. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like that my daughter will appreciate mathematics from this point of view. The question now is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;what kind of external stimuli accomplish to this task? Does somebody know more about that?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6149" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-15T13:28:31.173" LastActivityDate="2019-01-15T13:28:31.173" Title="Babies and math concepts" Tags="|toddler|teaching|cognitive-development|math|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10557" CreationDate="2013-11-25T12:31:32.790" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not convinced there's an age at which kids CANNOT learn something.  You certainly need the basic building blocks before you can start constructing a tower, but at any age they seem to have the ability to learn all sorts of mathematical concepts.  Verbalizing them is something entirely different, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, to directly address your question about concepts and ages, some links to some related research:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2013/10/16/1302751110.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;National Academy of Sciences&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/40576-infant-math-ability.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;LiveScience: Infant Math Ability&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/reference/article/mathematics-infants-toddlers-learn/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Education.com: What Mathematical Concepts Do Infants and Toddlers Learn?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/hslc/tta-system/ehsnrc/Early%20Head%20Start/early-learning/curriculum/nycuearlymathlear.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;HeadStart: Supporting Early Math Learning for Infants and Toddlers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All I can offer, besides some links to research, is anecdata.  My daughter (who admittedly has a Klieg light in her head) was able to count to 70 at 17 months, and understood the differences between 1 and many several months before that, and understood the concept of 0 at the age of 31 months.  At 5.5 she's able to discuss the differences between nulls and zero with me as she watches me work (I'm a data guru and spend a lot of time architecting and implementing designs, so math is integral to my profession), and has groked negative numbers and has the basics of multiplication down pat (memorizing the multiplication tables, not so much).  In the car last Friday, we discussed the difference between 1-to-n relationships and n-to-n relationships, in the context of tornadoes (tornadoes are always spawned by a storm like a thunderstorm or a hurricane, but not all thunderstorms and hurricanes spawn tornadoes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is following a similar trajectory, except for the counting to 70 (he skipped that because he is not nearly as verbally advanced as his sister, although he's demonstrated a clear understanding of the other concepts). The hunger to learn these concepts is almost entirely within them, too; we have made a point to demonstrate how math is everywhere in our lives, but never pushed them to chase down topics and consume them with the vigor they've displayed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the OP's update, I've found some links to research about how to encourage mathematical visualization in small children, and the data behind these theories:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=12519&amp;amp;page=59&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mathematics Learning In Early Childhood&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://nrich.maths.org/2477&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Number Sense Series&lt;/a&gt; (a site for STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) teachers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2013-11-26T18:55:22.613" LastActivityDate="2013-11-26T18:55:22.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10557" CreationDate="2013-11-25T13:34:36.620" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Because you care about mathematical concepts and your daughter learning them, most likely she &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; learn them.  You will point them out and talk about them.  &quot;see honey, you had one slice of banana, now, you have more slices of banana.&quot;  You will be drawn to stories that contain math concepts (yes, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naeyc.org/files/tyc/file/MathbookslistSchickedanzexcerpt.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;they are out there&lt;/a&gt;) and games that teach mathematical concepts.  When your daughter picks up a new concept well enough to apply it, you will notice and celebrate her accomplishment with her.  All of these things are huge factors in helping her learn, but &lt;strong&gt;they happen more naturally than you might realize&lt;/strong&gt; when exposure is occuring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby's learning will be very concrete in orientation, as opposed to abstract as she is unlikely to be developmentally ready for abstraction yet.  &quot;and&quot; is much more concrete than &quot;or&quot; so she is following standard patterns of growth in understanding well so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To help your baby learn the multitude of things she can start learning now&lt;/strong&gt;, I suggest &lt;strong&gt;exposure without pressure&lt;/strong&gt;  Think of it this way, learning takes place because a child is exposed to stimuli, recognizes predictable patterns in that stimuli and responds accordingly.  Babies are doing a lot of experimenting. &quot;Last time I dropped this cup, mommy came over and picked it up.  Will that happen again?&quot;  Now, it isn't quite that conscious in their little brains, but that is essentially how it works and why the do so many things over and over and over again.  The key is to expose and then be okay with just letting the experience/idea/concept marinate in her brain and wait it out.  Exposure allows her to use the concept and/or vocabulary as soon as she is developmentally ready for it, rather than being ready for it and then having to gain the exposure.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ways you can support your child's learning in your home include&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;having things to count, talking about &quot;a little&quot; and &quot;a lot/many&quot; choosing story books to read that contain mathematical concepts, noticing sequences and patterns and pointing those out, comparing sizes (play games like lining up cups of assorted sizes in order from biggest to smallest) doing a lot of &quot;sorting&quot; (by shape, color, or size) and working with cause and effect - &quot;Oh did you hear the loud noise the plate made when you dropped it?  Will the same thing happen if you drop the plate again?&quot; and generally encouraging experimentation and manipulation of objects.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read &lt;em&gt;Born on a Blue Day&lt;/em&gt; by the way!  In regard to how your daughter's brain percieves numbers and whether or not she develops a passion for it and sees beauty in those numbers the way Daniel Tammet describes - I think that is one of those parts of the equation that is more nature than nurture or at least, unknown.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, the brain is elastic and mold-able - especially during these younger days (where your daughter is).  Studies have shown that the structure of the brain of a child who learns music before five, is quite different than that of a child who does not (I'm sorry, I don't remember the reference to cite).  This info is important to you because kids that learn to read and play music, also tend to do better in math and languages.  Likewise, kids with tons of early exposure to written language and tons of stories at an early age, seem to be better wired for academic learning in general and tend to live more enriched lives down the road (partially because they have higher income - causality is difficult here).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I taught kids like Daniel Tammet would have been during his younger years if he had been diagnosed more accurately sooner.  The school where I taught did a lot of in-house training and brought in researchers to do presentations etc.  In my experience, we simply don't know a lot about the brain yet - let alone how learning takes place.  What we have in knowledge in these two areas is increasing in leaps and bounds in the last twenty/thirty years or so, but the science is in its infancy so anything that one could do is still really in earliest theory stages (meaning they are little more than hypotheses at this point.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My suggestion&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continue to love and be passionate about math and logic yourself - passions of the parents often rub off on the kids even when the parent tries hard not to push.  That first paragraph in this incredibly long answer still applies here.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help your daughter explore everything you can allow her to explore - include music and storytelling as a component of every single day.  Mathematic concepts show themselves in the most un-expected places sometimes so if she is getting exposure to a wide variety of things, she has more opportunities to make more connections logical or not between mathematics and the tangible world.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about how you see numbers and their relationships with her - some of it will rub off on her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't be disappointed if your daughter doesn't see math and its language the way you do, she has a loving father and she &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; find beauty and passion - even if it isn't in numbers.  Isn't the most important thing that &lt;strong&gt;she&lt;/strong&gt; feel fulfilled?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ponce.inter.edu/cai/tesis/lmrivera/cap2.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://ponce.inter.edu/cai/tesis/lmrivera/cap2.htm&lt;/a&gt; goes over learning stages of cognitive development as represented by Piaget's theory (called constuctivism) and the psychological elements used within the process of learning.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.assessingmathconcepts.com/criticallearningphases.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.assessingmathconcepts.com/criticallearningphases.html&lt;/a&gt; has a downloadable page that lists a lot of the skills teachers are looking at and measuring in Kindergarten upon a child's arrival at school - while I understand this is not the right &quot;age&quot; for this question, it will offer insight into what level is generally aimed for to be successful once it is time to start attending school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/magazine/article/preschool-math/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.education.com/magazine/article/preschool-math/&lt;/a&gt; gives ideas on continuing to support the growth of mathematcal learning and conceptualization in your home as your baby moves from infancy into toddler-hood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.minitex.umn.edu/Events/Conferences/Highlights/2013/Stem/BookshelfHandout1.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;List of books for early elementary ages that present mathematical concepts and themes&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-26T15:51:24.280" LastActivityDate="2013-11-26T15:51:24.280" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6320" CreationDate="2013-11-25T14:19:41.433" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is an excellent reader, but at this beginning stage of the game, she too didn't always remember a word from one page to the next - especially while she was still &quot;sounding out.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have helped a lot of kids through this beginning reading stage so it may help you to know, it is fairly typical for kids not to recognize repeated words from one moment to the next.  At this stage, It is a matter of not seeing the forest for the trees.  She is focused on the individual letters and still seeing words as a series of individual letters rather than as a complete unit unto itself - perfectly normal and a good step forward even if it doesn't feel like it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest continuing to work on &quot;sounding out&quot; as Meg and Kit recommend, but also introduce &quot;sight words.&quot;  Work with her on words that are extremely common by seing them as words and &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; sounding them out. &quot;In,&quot; &quot;and,&quot; and &quot;the&quot; are all great choices for this.  Have her trace the shapes of the words (ie - think about each letter as possible taking up the space of three blocks stacked on one another.  a only takes up the middle block, t takes up the upper two blocks and g takes up the bottom two).  &quot;The&quot;, would then be a four square box with a one-box tail.  This exercise will help her brain begin to see the word as a word and not just a series of letters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a great resource for finding sight words:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mes-english.com/phonics/dolch.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dolch sight words&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aplusgamer.com/index.jhtml?partner=%5EAF4%5Exdm002&amp;amp;gclid=CPy-ttaPgLsCFQbl7AodUUoArQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;game site&lt;/a&gt; has some games to help with that if you wish to use them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T14:19:41.433" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10561" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10565" CreationDate="2013-11-25T15:52:22.957" Score="5" ViewCount="889" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a horrible cold going around so I have a couple of rough noses that need blowing and wiping that are attached to children for whom this has been pure torture.  We have used moisturizers and jellies to soften little noses and I found some boogie wipes also, but even with the skin improving I now have kids that assume it will hurt and are screaming and fighting before blowing can even get started (three and five).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I talk to the kids about blowing their noses to make it less frightful?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any nose blowing techniques that would also help in the future to avoide dry skin in the first place, and/or reduce the rubbing and friction within the process preventatively and now?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T22:20:46.197" Title="Rough Nose is Painful to wipe - what to do?" Tags="|toddler|health|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10561" CreationDate="2013-11-25T16:13:41.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try the product &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.boogiewipes.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Boogie Wipes&lt;/a&gt;. These wipes have a saline solution so they break up snot and make it easier to wipe. They also have moisturizers to help prevent chaffing and chaping. Alternatively you could make your own using &lt;a href=&quot;http://alittlesomethinglovely.com/2012/11/14/homemade-boogie-wipes/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this tutorial&lt;/a&gt;. You can gently heat a wipe in the microwave so it is like a warm towel (make sure to test the temperature first). The novelty of it may make the kids interested in having their noses blown.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T16:13:41.643" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10561" CreationDate="2013-11-25T22:03:46.810" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the nose is already chafed, a tiny dab of cortisone cream stings at first but takes care of it in a hurry.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6163" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T22:03:46.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10561" CreationDate="2013-11-25T22:20:46.197" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In between colds, you might be able to use this method to teach your kids to blow effectively and reduce the amount of wiping &amp;amp; chafing overall.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/06/05/how-to-teach-a-toddler-to-blow-her-nose/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/06/05/how-to-teach-a-toddler-to-blow-her-nose/&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a children's reference librarian can recommend more books like the one I linked below, to help kids learn about nose blowing in a fun way. &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1931636583&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Am-Booger-Treat-With-Respect/dp/1931636583&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your local library doesn't have a children's reference department or they have no recommendations for you, you can ask the same question of the reference folks at IPL dot org.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lanolin works better than anything to heal up chafed skin (nose, bottom, whatever). Find it online or in the breastfeeding section of a pharmacy. Vaseline is a less effective alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Little baby washcloths make great cheap hankies. Tuck one per kid in your pockets, purse or bra and they will be soft on noses to prevent chafing problems. Cloth is generally gentler than paper kleenex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6164" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T22:20:46.197" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10557" CreationDate="2013-11-25T22:33:49.247" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may seem counterintuitive, but babies and small children will do the best at math if they are told stories and learn to tell stories themselves. O'Neille et al. (below) found that storytelling is an essential precursor for the development of logical thinking. This makes sense when you think about the fact that storytelling is ingrained in centuries of human neuro-development and oral tradition. Exposure to storytelling helps young kids' brains learn to abstract information and think sequentially, which is an essential basis for counting and logical operations. In general, many behaviors which look like play (such as pretending and making up stories) are actually part of laying essential ground-blocks for academic skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See O'Neill, D., M. Pearce, and J. Pick. (2004). &quot;Predictive Relations Between Aspects of Preschool Children's Narratives and Performance on the Peabody Individualized Achievement Test-Revised: Evidence of a Relation Between Early Narrative and Later Mathematical Ability.&quot; First Language 24 (June): 149-183.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6164" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T22:33:49.247" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7937" CreationDate="2013-11-25T23:02:28.280" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you will suffer much less if you find a way to change your child's sleep association as soon as possible. You deserve to be well-rested, and it will help your relationship to your child too. Kids brains are incredibly flexible because of all the neurons. Right now she has a habit that is working very well for her to get back to sleep and not well at all for you. If you trust her and use a gentle, firm, consistent method, she will learn a new habit and you will feel so much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest the book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, by Dr. Ferber. I found his writing very well-reasoned, and his method very detailed so I knew what to do. It worked to change my son from his association with rocking and nursing back to sleep, and it took three days before I went from getting 1-2 hours of sleep in a row at night to getting 7-8 hours. Afterward, my son's schedule was going to bed at 7:30 or 8pm and getting up at 7am. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it is hard to do any project when you are tired, but it is so worthwhile to have the results. I suggest you read the book through and take some notes, and plan your strategy. Pick a time when you can either bear to be extra tired for 3-5 days or else have some help around the house, or both. Ask a friend or parent to do this with you if you can, ask your partner to take some sick/vacation days if you can so he can help out, and/or ask a relative to take the other little one so at least someone is getting good sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After I read the book and made my plan, I did Ferber's method with my mom in shifts, while my son's more soft-hearted dad was out of town. We wrote down &quot;the rules&quot; we wanted to follow for sleep training and kept a log about how it was going, because it is very hard to stick to it, but also very important. When it was my mom's shift I slept for four hours in a row with earplugs in, and even though I was upset about sleep training and hearing my son cry, the extra sleep felt like heaven because I was so exhausted from waking up every hour or two to rock my son back to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first night is the hardest, and it gets a little better each night after that. I love my son and can't bear to hear him cry, and I toughened myself and sleep trained him because I knew it would give our family the best life together over the long term. It helps while you are doing it to remember that if it isn't better after 5 days, you can always try something else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6164" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T23:02:28.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10549" CreationDate="2013-11-25T23:06:00.660" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Newborns are exposed to all the intense hormones of labor that flooded through the mother's system and made birth possible. It gives the baby acne that can last for a while. Talk to your pediatrician if you're worried, but it's pretty standard for the acne to show up within a week or two of birth. My son had it all over his chest. You don't need to do anything to their delicate baby skin, just give it time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6164" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T23:06:00.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9326" CreationDate="2013-11-25T23:36:11.583" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to agree with Valkyrie that part of your son's deal is probably a response to inconsistencies in parenting style that can be confusing to kids as well as a way to cry out for attention (to kids it is often the case that, negative attention is better than no attention).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of the statement: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;however my husband frequently yells at him or hits him when he gets&#xA;  angry with my son. He pushes our buttons often. I get angry with him&#xA;  and sometimes yell, but don't get physical unless I am really pushed&#xA;  to the limit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going to add an element that may be a newer idea to many parents (and is counter to the pediatrician recommended star chart), but I have seen this work with toddlers and teens (and everyone in between).  I've seen it work oppositional disorder kids as well as &quot;at-risk&quot; adolescents and teens &lt;strong&gt;And&lt;/strong&gt; I use it with my own daughter &lt;strong&gt;most&lt;/strong&gt; of the time and so far, so good.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To Understand First&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Some kids fight rules and a sense of &quot;being controlled&quot; by seeking out ways to feel &quot;in control&quot; of their parents.  This is especially true in children that experience physical punishment and the negative feelings and sense of shame that comes with being hit by their parents (at least, in cultures where being hit is no longer the standard).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention your son's behavior at school is &quot;inappropriate&quot; and he has trouble keeping friends.  Is he exhibiting bully-like behavior?  Pulling on his sister's hair is another red-flag warning you have a kid struggling with the difference between influence and control.  Bully behaviors can arise for a number of reasons, but kids that are punished physically are at greater risk for becoming kids that attempt to exert control over others in inappropriate ways.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These kids specifically act out in ways that will stress their parents out - it is as if the child gains a sense of power and control by pushing you past your limits to where you are no longer in control.  I have a feeling this is a part of what may be happening in your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What to do about it&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;See if you can find a way to take a weekend off.  Take a little break from one-another.  Can grandma or an aunt or uncle come and stay with the kids for two nights?  Get a little down time somewhere quiet and restful for just you and his Dad (or just you if you are no longer together).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Both you and your husband must stop using any physical punishments entirely right now.  I don't care if it is a beating or a simple and &quot;harmless&quot; little slap.  It has to stop or the problem is likely to escalate and continue to get worse.  Even proponents of physical discipline still say that it needs to be metered out in a controlled and un-emotional way.  It does not sound as though this is the way things are happening at your house.  Every time you get physical with your son he wins, because he is pushing you past a breaking point and he knows you have lost control of yourself.  You can't expect him to control himself, if you can't control yourself.  If you are frustrated enough you are tempted to get physical, tell him you need a time out so both of you are &quot;going to your corners&quot; so to speak.  He can spend the time in his room cooling off while you take a few deep breaths and chill out a little too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This will seem counter-intuitive, but hand your son some control on purpose.  Have a meeting with him.  Sit down with him and start by telling him he needs to listen for a minute and then he will have a turn.  State what your problems/concerns are.  &quot;It is hurtful to your sister when you pull your hair, things at school aren'g going well in terms of friends and behavioral reports according to your teachers, you talk back to us and that makes us feel disrespected. . . &quot;  I'd suggest you pick your three (or fewer) biggest concerns for now and let the rest go for a little while at first.  If he interupts, stop talking, let him say whatever it was till he stops and then say, &quot;You need to listen first and then you will have your turn&quot;  Be prepared to say this a thousand times, but say it calmly.  Finish by saying, &quot;Dad and I feel some changes need to be made by you and by us.&quot;  Then ask him, what he thinks needs to happen to &quot;fix it.&quot;  His first responses are likely to be disrespectful and even trite, but if you say something like, &quot;it probably makes you feel bad when we hit you or yell at you, so we will. . . &quot; and then make a promise to stop getting physical in your punishments with him, he is likely to get more serious with you.  &lt;strong&gt;Paraphrase everything he says&lt;/strong&gt; even if you disagree with it - this will help rebuild trust.  Write down a bulleted list that notes what he would like to see happen and what you would like to see happen - even write down the things that aren't reasonable.  Then, go over the list together.  Agree to the reasonable things, look for win-win compromises on the things that are less reasonable and then have everyone sign it.  Then, you have to uphold your end of the bargain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instead of praising positive behavior (this often backfires later on), observe the positive behavior.  i.e. &quot;I noticed you didn't pull your sister's hair today.&quot;  Your son will take it as a compliment if it was hard for him to do that today - if it wasn't an accomplishment for him, he still knows you noticed.  &quot;Hey, your teacher said you and (so and so) played nicely together during break today.&quot;  No &quot;I'm proud of yous&quot; or &quot;way to go,&quot; just notice the behavior.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instead of &quot;correcting&quot; behavior not in keeping with what you don't want, observe it - unemotionally, &quot;That statement could be made in a more respectful manner.&quot;  or &quot;I saw you pull your sister's hair.&quot;  Follow these observations with a corrective question or request.  &quot;I would like you to try that statement again in a more respectful manner.&quot;  or &quot;Instead of pulling your sister's hair, I would like you to state what you wanted or state that you needed some attention instead.  Now that you have hurt her you need to go apologize.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use consequences that fit the &quot;crime.&quot;  If a kid in my care throws a plate and gets food all over guess who cleans it up.  If a kid speaks disrespectfully to me, guess who isn't going to get what it is he/she wants.  &quot;You won't ask more respectfully?  Well then you aren't getting X.&quot; or if it is really bad &quot;Wow, I find that language unexceptable for my poor ears.  You are banished to your room until you prove you are able to use more appropriate language&quot; - part of prooving this involves using a dictionary and finding ten different ways to express the emotion that was being expressed without using foul language.  A kid who doesn't clean his or her room, isn't getting his/her work done and therefore isn't taking care of the business of life that means no &quot;extras.&quot;  Someone that can't pay the bills (because he or she isn't doing his/her job), doesn't go to parties, out with friends, or to the movies because the bills can't be covered. . . Likewise, a child that his not doing his/her job by getting school work completed, and chores (like cleanign the bedroom) done, doesn't go to parties, out with friends, or to the movies either.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get some help if you need to.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a family therapist.  Plenty of families seek out therapy simply to keep things running smoothly, but it can also help a family that is struggling (for whatever reason) get back on track.  You could also try a stress or anger management class (take it together with your son, if you think it would help him too) . . .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do something fun together or at least, hit the reset button.  Try to do something every one can enjoy together.  No-stakes kind of activity that will create some laughter so you can begin to heal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly suggest reading &quot;Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families&quot; by Stephen Covey and trying to live your lives by this book.  I think you will find it incredibly helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-25T23:41:54.373" LastActivityDate="2013-11-25T23:41:54.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10570" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-26T00:12:01.067" Score="4" ViewCount="281" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter's favorite director at the theater we work with (she is an amateur actress) is directing Romeo and Juliette in January.  I got a call last night and was asked to play a part where the previous actor was no longer able to play the part and the director said she needed people to fill the party and market-place scenes.  So now we are involved.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I homeschool my daughter, I thought a unit &quot;An introduction to Shakespeare&quot; would be a compelling way to take advantage of the opportunity and work with her with this classic playwright's work.  Obviously, we will be taking a look at Romeo and Juliette (Seussification of, a children's version, West Side Story and the actual play) but I wondered if there was a good comedy for a younger audience by Shakespeare.  I am not terribly familiar with most of his comedy's (most of my exposure was to the tragedies for some reason).  So my question is two-fold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any suggestions out there for great activities to do with kids to help them better understand the poetic breakdown of Shakespeare's writing - as well as its meaning - how sonnets work, the intracacies of iambic pentameter . . . **And which of his comedies is likely to be best-suited as a good read-through for a seven-year-old with advanced reading capabilities and vocabulary?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-27T22:41:44.420" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T22:41:44.420" Title="Introducing Shakespeare" Tags="|education|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10572" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-26T13:17:22.063" Score="7" ViewCount="279" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a result of my baby being diagnosed with infant's Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, I am following doctor's orders regarding my own diet so my milk is as easy on baby's tummy as possible and we have raised one side of her mattress slightly. This worked for a few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, since my baby is now pulling, rolling and moving herself around more her head doesn't always stay on the &quot;up&quot; end of the crib so we had to remove the board that was raising the one end. Since she is old enough (7 mo), we are also very slowly and very carefully adding solids (mashed) into her diet. Now the GERD is on the rebound and she is having a lot of spitting up episodes again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctor doesn't seem to have a lot of options for us other than to watch both baby's and my diets carefully. Has any one else dealt with this problem and what did you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="4904" LastEditDate="2013-12-21T00:10:16.003" LastActivityDate="2018-05-10T14:58:16.570" Title="How to cope with GERD in an infant" Tags="|infant|health|diet|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10570" CreationDate="2013-11-26T14:05:20.443" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would do Shakespeare first as just entertainment - good stories, good language play. Later, you can revisit it to talk about poem structure or the names for particular rhymes or rhythms. It is really cool to experience a recognition when you come across a piece of information. Consider this poster I took a picture of in The Globe Theatre earlier this century:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/677Nn.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may need to do some translating but just reading the plays together as fun will put you in a good place later to analyze them. You can find lists of companion books and strategies: &lt;a href=&quot;http://jimmie.squidoo.com/shakespeareforchildren&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;one&lt;/a&gt; recommends the Charles and Mary Lamb book, which we have, though I was mortally offended by the preface suggesting older brothers should be careful about which stories to read to a younger sister. The prose in that book is now almost as old fashioned as Shakespeare's, which tells you how long this has been something parents cared about. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nosweatshakespeare.com/shakespeare-for-kids/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Another resource&lt;/a&gt; suggests their own $15 PDFs, but give you extracts so you can see if you like their style. They start with Julius Caesar which I think is crazy. I would go with Dream. It's dirty as anything, but kids may not catch the wordplay since it doesn't use modern words for sex acts, and if you can read it with a straight face it may appear more platonic than it is. I also found a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.torontopubliclibrary.ca/programs-and-classes/shakespeare-for-kids/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;library program&lt;/a&gt; whose curriculum may give you some ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get a Complete Works you can do comedies first and work your way up to tragedies. You can also skip scenes you think might be a bit much for your child. Just summarize those without the gory details or heart rending misery or whatnot. Eventually &quot;To be or not to be&quot; will be a real sentence that makes sense to them, but at this age &quot;he is very upset and trying to decide what to do&quot; might be better. Actually, most of Hamlet and MacBeth are kind of hard to explain to a child - patricide and so on - maybe leave those for a while. The ones with magic like Dream and Tempest are probably good starts if you're ok with that. The ones with abiding social issues like Merchant give you plenty to talk about. But the mechanics of how power transitioned in royal families and who murdered who, or what wars are like when fought by hand, you might want to wait a while for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-11-26T14:05:20.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10570" CreationDate="2013-11-26T14:05:34.350" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, some suggestions for some of Shakespeare's comedies:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Much Ado About Nothing&lt;/em&gt; is one of my personal favorites, and would be my primary recommendation.  The plot is about as straightforward as any Shakespeare has penned, the adult themes aren't quite in the spotlight as much as many of his other works, and the banter between the two main couples is wonderfully funny.  The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107616/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_36&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;1993 movie adaptation&lt;/a&gt; by Kenneth Branagh is quite good, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A Midsummer Night's Dream&lt;/em&gt; is another one of my favorites.  Some of the humor and references are a bit more &quot;adult&quot;, but no more so than &lt;em&gt;Romeo and Juliet&lt;/em&gt;. Michael Hoffman's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0140379/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_10&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;1999 movie adaptation&lt;/a&gt; is also quite good.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for teaching suggestions....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For starters, I'd recommend reading the works first, before watching them performed.  There are quite a few annotated guides, that provide explanations for the archaic terms and more convoluted phrasings.  Some of them also do a good job of pointing out the many double entendres.  I like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&amp;amp;field-keywords=shakespeare+signet+classic&amp;amp;rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Ashakespeare+signet+classic&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Signet Classics&lt;/a&gt; line of books for an introduction, but there are probably others that would serve as well, or better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding iambic pentameter, I believe the only way to truly appreciate Shakespeare's use of it is to try writing your own.  Start by writing a few basic paragraphs in standard iambic pentameter.  Then start comparing them to lines from Shakespeare, looking for the variations and inversions commonly used.  Short video clips of performances can be used to highlight how these sound on stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2013-11-26T14:05:34.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10575" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-27T02:49:47.907" Score="2" ViewCount="12731" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 13 and my place in the classroom was changed today because I was talking in the class. But the teacher made me sit next to a girl. While she was thinking about change of seat, she was muttering &quot;hmm, I need a concentrating student to sit next to him...&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she asked to move, she said to the girl, &quot;Don't worry, your friends are still here around you&quot;. She also changed the seat of my best friend and made him sit with a girl behind me so that I can feel okay, but I don't want to sit next to a girl. Only two of us are sitting with a girl in the WHOLE class! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is just very boring but she scores good marks. Other children ask me to enjoy it as she is the sexiest girl in the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please tell me what to do now? Everyone and every teacher is now thinking that she is my GIRLFRIEND. (All teachers know that I am not interested in sex and love but now they are thinking negative.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom teaches in the same school, and my sister is also one class below mine. Should I tell the matter to my mom? I am afraid to tell her as our WHOLE FAMILY does not think about this sex and love and girls!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6168" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-11-28T20:01:25.063" LastActivityDate="2017-03-13T12:10:20.373" Title="I'm not happy about the new seating order in my class" Tags="|friends|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2017-03-20T14:36:38.817" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10575" CreationDate="2013-11-27T03:38:27.907" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure this is the right forum for this question, but I'll give you the advice I would have given my former students.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Putting you sitting next to a girl does not mean the teacher or other adults around will think you are dating and, honestly, even if there are some kids giving you a hard time about it - they don't actually think it means you are dating or having sex either.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The more upset you get about this, the more likely it is the other kids will give you a hard time&lt;/strong&gt;/tease you about it, or continue to tease you about it (since it sounds like they already are).  If instead, you respond with, &quot;yeah, yeah, ha ha&quot; in a really dull tone, they are likely to back off and stop bugging you about it pretty quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your teacher is hoping this girl will have a good influence and help to prevent chatter.  Maybe sitting with a girl that is &quot;boring&quot; in your estimation, but gets good marks &lt;strong&gt;could be good for you&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If this girl is so sexy it is distracting you from getting your work done, as embarrasing as it is, you should share this with your teacher (when the other kids are not around).  &lt;strong&gt;Your teacher put you in a seat next to this girl to help you concentrate.  If it is doing the opposite, I'm guessing your teacher would like to know.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I understand social activities and social standings are really important to you in life right now, but that isn't how the adults around you see things so telling your mom about the fact that you got moved probably won't make her suspicious that anything about who you are and what your priorities are has changed.  &lt;strong&gt;Your mom is more likely to be concerned about the fact that you were talking out of turn during class&lt;/strong&gt; (at least, that is how most adults I know would react - unless there is something about this you have not shared here).  I almost always recommend honesty when it comes to parents-they are the people in the world that care about you most afterall.  I just don't think she will think it as big a deal as you are concerned she will.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to you and let us know how it goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-28T18:08:26.690" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T18:08:26.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10575" CreationDate="2013-11-27T05:03:12.467" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be reasonable. You were moved because of a good reason. Accept your punishment, behave better and make sure to apologize to the teacher (approach her after a lesson, when noone's looking). After a week or so ask nicely if you could go back to your seat. Promise not to talk again. &lt;strong&gt;And keep the promise&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-11-27T05:03:12.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10533" CreationDate="2013-11-27T05:58:15.943" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two thoughts on the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;While money might be tight, consider hiring someone to clean your house once a week or so. I wish that my wife and I had done that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take turns caring for the baby if you're not breastfeeding or have bottles available to heat up. It sometimes means sleeping in another room, but even getting one night of good solid rest can help a lot. My daughter is a horrible sleeper as of late, and we generally alternate nights getting up with her in the middle of the night. Or alternatively, I generally get up with her between 12 and 5 AM.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3571" LastActivityDate="2013-11-27T05:58:15.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10557" CreationDate="2013-11-27T07:03:23.830" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think teachers and some homeschoolers are now starting to teach math earlier and earlier because when the kids are younger, they have a tremendous and almost instinctual ability to pick up concepts. My kids started showing signs of understanding rather early and I helped them (without overwhelming them with too much information) by allowing them to download math apps for kids or letting them play cool math games (son calls them cool). There are tonnes of resources online that you would find helpful. Since you know your daughter best, you will be best able to gauge what is best for her depending on her learning style.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6054" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T12:11:38.150" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T12:11:38.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10570" CreationDate="2013-11-27T10:55:31.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mother took my seven-year-old daughter to see a production of A Winter's Tale recently. It was aimed at children so included some extra explanation, but apparently they didn't dumb it down or change the language, yet she was able to follow along fine. So that one could be good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="973" LastActivityDate="2013-11-27T10:55:31.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3681" CreationDate="2013-11-27T16:47:50.487" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I encountered a similar, almost parallel, situation with my child. I first tried: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Computer Memory games (Learning Rx, Webkinz, Luminosity)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The Board games mentioned above (12-17-2011) are excellent&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I had a Eureka moment.  I ultimately treated the Whole Child with the following intervention techniques, which yielded vast improvement.  What helped the most was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change to a Nitrate-free diet&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change to organic fruits and vegetables to detoxify&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check all blood levels: cholesterol, Vitamin D, gluten sensitivity, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;De-stress life (don't overbook child or parent)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Listen&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; to child 20-30 minutes each night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch funny-TV together for only 30 minutes each night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Treadmill or other physical activity for 30 minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When possible, let child choose activities, electives, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No electronics or TV, other than the therapies mentioned, on school nights, and limit to 1 hour twice on weekend.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cut out all fast food and drastically reduce sugars, including soft drinks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In less than 6 months, memory, executive function, math scores and social abilities increased.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Steering a child toward positive relationships with friends, family members and teachers also will help quality of life and boost memory function.  Yelling, or other negative interactions, can potentially shrink the hippocampus and raise cortisol levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6173" LastEditorDisplayName="user6176" LastEditDate="2013-11-28T17:07:04.133" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T17:07:04.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10582" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-27T18:24:50.830" Score="4" ViewCount="11357" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was doing really well up through 3months with sleeping. We would put him down at 8 and he would not wake up until 3am for his first feeding, then 6am for second and then be up for the day around 8am.  Each feeding he'd go right back to bed.  When our pediatrician told us at our 3month visit to start training him to self soothe and fall asleep on his own, things have changed and I want to know if it's normal or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are my questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it normal that at 4.5 months, his naps are still only 30 minutes long? Sometimes he wakes up happy, other times crying. We wait 10 minutes when he wakes but he won't fall back asleep. His wake time is only 1.5 hours between naps.  He still takes 4-5 naps a day and I'm concerned that these short naps are what's causing the frequent nightwakings (see question 2). are these short naps normal and will they naturally consolidate and become longer?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He knows how to self soothe back to sleep because he does it on his own for naps and bedtime. Even when he stirs in the middle of the night after a short period of time, he's usually able to go back on his own. The question is, he now wakes up every 2 hours and since we have the baby monitor near us, we also wake up every 2 hours and lay there listening to him fuss!  We moved his bedtime up to 730 in hopes that it would solve the issue but even then he's still waking every two hours! Is this normal? We do not have to go in to get him to sleep usually (except every now and again in rare instances) so I think we've successfully trained him to self soothe but is it normal that he wakes up so often?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please tell me that this will end? Is it the 4 month sleep regression and if so when does it end?&#xA;Thank you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6174" LastActivityDate="2013-11-27T19:53:15.230" Title="What is normal for 4.5 month old sleep patterns?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10582" CreationDate="2013-11-27T19:53:15.230" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Four to five naps a day is a LOT of cat naps.  If you can keep him awake through a nap or two and shrink that down to 2 daytime naps that should help him sleep longer at night AND during his daytime naps.  We went from 3 to 2 naps at 2 months, and from 2 to 1 around one with both kids.  And as with all children, YMMV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0761143114&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program&lt;/a&gt; talks about using the 90-minute basic human rest and activity cycle to help regulate your child's nap patterns.  Wake him after he's been asleep 90 minutes, or a multiple thereof, and he should wake easier and transition to play/eat/whatever easier, and get naturally sleepy about 90 minutes after waking.  Keep him up about 5-10 minutes after he gets sleepy and he should shrug it off and be ready for another 90 minutes of eat/play/tummy time. We used it to great effect when our eldest was young.  (I still tell people she didn't sleep for two years; she was definitely not a champ at snoozing! But having this info and applying it salvaged at least a remnant of our sanity.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The waking frequently through the night usually happens as part of the period sleep regressions as well as any time he's on the verge of a breakthrough (teething! crawling! pulling up!) or a growth spurt.  I do think your instinct that fewer day naps will lead to more sleeping at night is a sound one to start with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Ahhh, the four-month sleep regression!  Best friend to contraception ever.  &lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-11-27T19:53:15.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10584" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-27T20:30:50.977" Score="7" ViewCount="7751" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 4yo and a 1yo. The 4yo has been playing with Lego Duplo for a long time and it's safe for our 1yo because Duplo blocks are specifically made to be &quot;too large to eat.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's clear that the 4yo is ready to move on to &quot;real&quot; Lego. These pieces are smaller, and that's a problem because suddenly it's no longer safe to have Lego lying around in the home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's realistic to tell a 4yo to keep his Lego only on the dining table where the baby can't reach it. Lego is meant to be played on the floor, and no room is safe from both kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't want to keep the baby out of the 4yo's room just because of the Lego (which would then only be allowed in that room). We feel it would be unreasonable to the 4yo to forbid Lego in the rest of the house, and unreasonable to the baby to forbid access to his brother's room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there a better solution that I am not seeing?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T09:33:55.837" Title="How can we keep our infant safe from small Lego pieces?" Tags="|infant|pre-schooler|safety|toys|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10584" CreationDate="2013-11-27T21:25:59.130" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't discount the restricting Lego to only one area! You really only have two options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;keep the baby away from the Lego&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;keep the Lego away from the baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your 4 year old should understand the concept of tidying up, so if you let him play with small kits (which is probably best at first) then the pieces should all end up as part of the finished toy, which he can then put on a table, mantelpiece or somewhere out of reach of the baby. Your riskiest times are at the start when all the pieces are laid out, so use a tray for this stage (it keeps them together) and ideally get him to play with it somewhere the baby doesn't go, and at the end, when you need to make sure the baby doesn't just try and eat the finished article.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll have the odd moment where the baby eats a piece of Lego, but generally you can just accept that that piece is gone for good, unless you fancy trying to retrieve it later...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-11-27T21:25:59.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10584" CreationDate="2013-11-27T22:36:38.093" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you have a kid's sized table?  Something the four year old CAN do the legos on, but stand at so reaching higher towers and the like is possible.  It works really well for the kids I baby sit.  Small toys are played with only when an adult is watching and they are played with on the craft table.  Then little brother can scoot around on the floor all he wants, but there are adult eyes watching just in case something gets dropped, or the baby starts to pull himself up or anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-27T22:36:38.093" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3404" CreationDate="2013-11-28T02:07:49.883" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me, your concern is more about consumerism and too much &quot;stuff&quot; more than it is about gifts and gift giving itself.  I have to say, I've seen kids get piles and piles of gifts on special occasions to the point that they still don't appreciate the gifts they've been given.  On the other side of the coin, there are times you see something that would be perfect for someone you love but there is no special occasion coming anytime soon and surprising someone you love with a gift &quot;just because&quot; is a loving thing to do and can show you were thinking of them - so I don't think discouraging those moments is a bad thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, consider focusing on the &quot;stuff&quot; being minimized rather than the idea of gifts themselves being minimized.  Here are the things we do in my immediate family to help reduce the consumerism here.  Teaching a lack of greediness also means teaching appreciation for what you do have.  We approach this life lesson from a multitude of angles and so far it is working quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about it, talk about it again, share your ideas.  Demonstrate appreciation and consideration for what you have and gratitude for gifts you are given.  &lt;strong&gt;In other words, be a good role-model.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At around four, we started &lt;strong&gt;giving&lt;/strong&gt; Alice &lt;strong&gt;a little spending money&lt;/strong&gt; now and again.  Particularly for when we are attending something like a carnival, fair, or taking a trip so she can get a souvenier.  She makes her own decisions how to spend that money and we let her make mistakes with it.  In other words, we have let her buy C*@p with it that we knew she'd be unhappy with in an hour.  &lt;strong&gt;Then, when she wants the next thing, but no longer has the spending money, she learns why she needs to think through purchases more fully.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We don't watch a lot of TV and when we do watch, we &lt;strong&gt;minimize commercial viewing&lt;/strong&gt; - a lot of what they want is only wanted because commercials tell them they want it.  Once she was five, I started her with Radio commercials - particularly one about Disneyland discussing how the advert was designed to make her think she'd be happy if she got to go there.  We talked about how she hadn't even thought about it before she heard the ad. . . We analyze increasingly complex advertisements this way as she gets older.  Sometimes, we decide the thing being advertise would be a good thing to save up for, most of the time, she realizes it probably would just be more stuff.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We only do birthday parties with a group on the &quot;odd years.&quot;  On the &quot;even years&quot; - two, four, six . . . she chooses a fun experience and invites one friend to join us and gives that friend a cool experience (at age six we attended a &quot;children's theater&quot; in the park where we hunted for fairies and trolls through the public park and forest land near the city).  This teachers that often, &lt;strong&gt;it is the memory of how we spend time that is longer lasting than things&lt;/strong&gt; usually are and she gets less &quot;stuff&quot; as gifts from friends along the way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At Christmas she gets one gift from Santa and one gift from Mom and Dad together.  Other gifts also come from extended family members, but that is all she gets directly from us.  Although it is a special occasion, it is supposed to be about the giving not the getting. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We &lt;strong&gt;make sure she is involved in picking out gifts for us for special occasions&lt;/strong&gt;.  She makes the cards, wraps the gifts etc.  While shopping for gifts with her, we have helped guide her choices by asking things like, &quot;Now why would that be a good gift for Daddy?&quot; or &quot;What makes you think Daddy would enjoy that? - Because dolls are cool?  Yes, they are cool, but does Daddy enjoy playing with them or would that be a better gift for you someday?&quot;  (You get the idea).  Sometimes we even help her to &lt;strong&gt;make a gift rather than buy one.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We participate by &lt;strong&gt;volunteering and giving to those in need&lt;/strong&gt; - which helps remind her there are others that have less or are less fortunate than we are.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When her drawers and shelves are full - we are full up, &lt;strong&gt;bringing in new items means having to get rid of something else by giving it to someone else&lt;/strong&gt; (which can include donating to good will -etc.)  Rarely are things in such bad shape they just have to be tossed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taking care of what she already has is of utmost importance.  &lt;strong&gt;No gifts for any reason are offered to people that don't apprciate and care for what they already have.&lt;/strong&gt;  Items broken due to carelessness (within reason developmentally of course) are not replaced without a lot of &quot;earning it back&quot; on her part first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Rarely do we buy anything on a whim&lt;/strong&gt;.  We might see something and say, &quot;that would be nice to have&quot; but I insist she waits a week or so to decide 95% of the time.  Most of the time she decides she doesn't need the thing - sometimes she figures out a way to save up for it - and sometimes, if she's been being really great, we'll go halvsies with her for something we know will be really special and be something she will enjoy for awhile.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We have discussed the environmental importance of not just recycling and re-using, but also the most important concept of &quot;reducing.&quot; in the first place.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When comparing to other families, my attitude has been, &quot;Daddy and I feel less is often more.  Stuff weighs us down often and is just more stuff to store and take care of.  We feel it is more important to give you the gift of appreciating quality experiences and a few quality things rather than heaping a mountain of toys on you that will break and be done soon anyway.  It is our job to teach you what we feel is right - even through gifts.  Their parents don't have the same priority we do so their experience is different and that is okay.  Think about all the things we do together instead.&quot;  That has worked with Alice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she ever demanded anything, that automatically meant an emphatic &quot;NO!.&quot;  Even if she said she wanted some sort of food in a demanding way, she got a &quot;No&quot; but was given her least favorite kind of food (that was available) just a few minutes later just in case she was hungry.  &lt;strong&gt;Bad manners should absolutely mean you do not get what you want.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these things have worked so well, that often she'll even tell people at fast food places, &quot;no.  I really don't want the kids meal - I don't need the toy and I won't play with it.  I'd rather have, (whatever it is) and I'll share a lemonade with mom.&quot;  Additionally, last Christmas (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6885/2876&quot;&gt;although she was playing a little game with us&lt;/a&gt; for that one), last Easter and her most recent birthday her list of wants has been fairly short and quite reasonable (well, again - except last Christmas when her wish list was dog and a younger sibling).  I asked her about her wish list for this Christmas and so far I've gotten, &quot;I don't know mom.  I'm pretty happy with things - I'll have to think about it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2013-11-30T15:16:17.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3681" CreationDate="2013-11-28T02:53:41.017" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A small adjunct to the answers, which all offer good advice. This is a voice of caution and balance, only. I would recommend making whatever you do &lt;em&gt;fun&lt;/em&gt;. As the moment it becomes a chore, 90% of your efforts to improve learning capacity are gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pushing children can be very counterproductive. It is important to discern which areas children need to be pushed and in which areas encouraged. Yes, push them to brush their teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it's an arbitrary test, I wouldn't put too much heed in an IQ test on a 9 year old. Success in life has little to do with the results of an IQ test. In a child whom you regarded as &lt;em&gt;normal&lt;/em&gt; until this test, I wouldn't be in a panic to try and rectify a problem that isn't really there. Being mindful that psychological tests come and go,  in and out of fashion. People have managed to get by without them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T02:53:41.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10589" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10635" CreationDate="2013-11-28T13:32:12.217" Score="4" ViewCount="463" Body="&lt;p&gt;My youngest sister was adopted by my parents when she was 13.  She is Lakota.  She knows she is Lakota and is proud of her heritage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alice's (seven years old) Aunt has talked about her heritage and shared some of the myths and traditions of the Lakota with Alice, yet I overheard Alice tell someone she had never seen a, &quot;real Indian before&quot; Within the context of the conversation it was clear, she was referring to American Indians, not people from India (which she has also met and befriended btw).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When asked why she said that despite knowing her aunt, Alice said, &quot;Well, she doesn't dress like one.&quot;  We've done lessons for Social studies that included watching that included clips of modern Native Americans from a variety of tribes living their lives today.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is this stereotype so seared into my child's head despite personal counter-examples as well as lessons about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T16:34:49.347" Title="My daughter just told someone the other day she doesn't know any Native Americans how do I get rid of the stereotype?" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10590" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-28T13:33:23.943" Score="3" ViewCount="216" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5.5 years old. It is hard for us to make him respond to questions, tell short stories that are in his syllabus, even a statement in English. We speak in our mother tongue only at home. Even in his mother tongue, he is unable to tell about an event fluently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing his writing works perfectly, he understands it well. But making him read and do extra writing practice is a hard task for us. He is never listening, at all. He is doing whatever he thinks is right. If I read stories loudly in front of him, he is not listening. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make him take an interest in reading and talking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6175" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-10T14:57:22.463" LastActivityDate="2018-05-10T14:57:22.463" Title="How to help my 5.5-year-old, who doesn't speak fluently and never listens, take an interest in reading and talking?" Tags="|primary-schooler|development|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10589" CreationDate="2013-11-28T14:57:49.187" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think she is stereotyping so much as learning to classify, which is appropriate for her age. As children engage with the world, they are constantly looking for how they fit in. They look for the differences in others in order to sort out who they are in contrast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We continue to do this throughout our lives, with increasing levels of sophistication. It is one of the huge benefits (and trials) of relationships, and marriage in particular. It is within our relationships to others that we continue to hone our understanding of ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try reinforcing her classification scheme while also extending it to be more inclusive. &quot;I can see why you would think that. A lot of times when we see pictures of Native Americans they are in traditional garments, and your aunt does not wear traditional garments. In fact, remember when we watched those videos? A lot of modern Native Americans don't ever wear traditional garments. So dress is only one way to tell if someone is a Native American. What are some other clues that tell you a person might be a Native American? (Discuss genetics, tribal connection, naming traditions)... Of course, the only way to tell for sure is to ask them!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T14:57:49.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10584" CreationDate="2013-11-28T15:07:59.213" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;They make playzones (like baby gates but connected into a loop) that are designed to keep baby in. You could do this in reverse - use it to keep baby out - and make it a Lego zone. That way your older child can choose what room he wants to be in while he builds, baby can watch but not touch, and baby is free to explore the rest of the house. You could even post a cute sign on it, like &quot;Construction Zone&quot; or &quot;No babies allowed,&quot; so it feels like a grown up space instead of a baby space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine used to put her Christmas tree in one every year while she had small children!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T15:07:59.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10575" CreationDate="2013-11-28T15:21:18.503" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a tough predicament, to be sure. Some thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your teacher moved you there so you would pay attention and get your work done. So prove to her you can pay attention and get your work done, then ask to me moved.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids tease. That is part of life. Unless they are being &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; mean about it, try to ignore it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This won't last forever. Either your teacher will eventually move you again, or your friends will get bored with teasing you about it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider this cute but boring girl could actually be quite nice. You might find you enjoy sitting next to her, but you don't have to let anyone know that!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting through tough times like this is what helps us to become adults. Consider this is a test of your toughness, and tell yourself you WILL survive it!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T15:21:18.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10590" CreationDate="2013-11-28T15:42:24.653" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very common at this age even when there is only one language being spoken! Developing the skill of relating an event takes practice, and as you have discovered, kids often are reluctant. I would suggest a trip to the library to find materials your son actually enjoys. Some possibilities:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Non-fiction.&lt;/strong&gt; Boys often prefer this to fiction stories. He can pick books about robots or sharks or dinosaurs or race cars - whatever interests him!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Magazines.&lt;/strong&gt; There are lost of them geared toward kids, and the articles are short, which helps in this situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Comics or graphic novels.&lt;/strong&gt; Comics are in strip form (like Garfield or Snoopy), where graphic novels look like comics but tell a longer story.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fiction of his choice.&lt;/strong&gt; Perhaps he would like a particular type of story. Ask the librarian for suggestions. He or she is trained to help discover your child's interests.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key to getting kids interested and comprehending is often by tying the activity to a desire for information. If your child wants a dog, get some books about dogs and read together to figure out what kind to get. If he shows an interest in construction vehicles, get a book to see how they work. If he sees an animal at the zoo, say to him, &quot;I wonder why giraffes do that?&quot; and then get a book about giraffes to find out together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also remember that kids come to this when they are ready, and some kids aren't ready for reading until closer to 7 years at which point they often catch up to their peersquite quickly. Keep exposing him to reading and talking to him about what you are reading. He will get there!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T15:42:24.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10572" CreationDate="2013-11-28T16:05:56.427" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had reflux with one of our babies! We confined him to the living room for play and we covered the rug with a king-size sheet, so we could easily wash it. He outgrew the reflux as he eventually spent more time vertically than horizontally, so you are almost at the end - maybe a few more months! That valve just has to mature, and the constant irritation of reflux seems to slow that process. As he sits and stands more, it should begin to improve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you could do is make sure he is not overfed - maybe feed more often but less food each time. Make sure you burp the baby after eating. I would continue with soft foods as they are quicker to digest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T16:05:56.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9353" CreationDate="2013-11-28T19:56:41.557" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't speak to your questions about studies done out there, but I have personal experience with this matter.  I actually look a lot like my mom, but as a kid, people usually saw my resemblance to my Father first.  I was told how much I looked like Dad so much and so often that my two-year-old brain actually started to believe that somehow, mom wasn't my mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This line of thought was discovered by my father one day when, at the mall, we went to go get the car and come back around to pick up Mom.  I said, &quot;let's not get her.&quot;  Dad was shocked at the suggestion and asked, &quot;don't you think that would scare mommy first and then also hurt her feelings if we did that?&quot;  I said, &quot;She isn't My MOm anyway.  We can just leave her here.&quot;  You can probably imagine how the rest of that conversation went.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister, doesn't look like any of the rest of us. She is a platinum blond with blue eyes (like my Dad's Dad), while the rest of us have dark hair and eyes.  and before we started fostering, people often commented on her &quot;odd-ball-ness&quot; with the rest the three of us with Darker features.  In the end, I don't believe she has ever felt that she was treated differently by any family members.  She has certainly never remarked on anything to that effect.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe because of the earlier experience with me and a concern my sister might begin to believe these yahoos and think she didn't belong, maybe because this is just Dad for you, he did something that has resulted in one of those stories that now gets told over and over again.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A little before my younger sister turned three, he had had enough of perfect strangers glibly asking, &quot;So where'd you get the blond&quot; and when a little old lady asked the question at the grocery store he said, &quot;The Mailman&quot; and walked away leaving Mom standing there with the two of us girls and a shopping cart full of groceries with a look of shock on her face.  The little old lady scurried away in the opposite direction with an appropriate amount of shame on her face.  I was still too young to even understand what had just happened, but Dad came back seconds later and it was the first kiss between the two I personally remember seeing.  Dad was splitting a gut trying not to laugh at the look on the women's face when he walked away, but still . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom and my sister have always clicked quite nicely, whereas Mom and I never have - still don't really.  My sister, clicks great with Mom though and I really think &quot;clicking&quot; has a lot more to do with our personalities, interests, etc. than looks, but maybe there is something there.  Dad and I totally click - always have.  I like helping with the outdoor chores, I like the music he listens to, we have similar taste in movies and books, and we both enjoy a good debate just for the sake of debating, but we do, also look a lot alike and I've always known that.  So which came first the chicken? or the egg? (well, the egg, because chickens weren't the first to lay them but still . . .) it is hard to determine causality without a wider range of experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was with family members that it was never an issue.  They saw resemblances to family where strangers couldn't see any and they loved both of us girls.  Then too, the family has always been inclusive and loving towards the children that were fostered in our home as well as my adopted older brother and adopted younger sister (both of which came to us after they were ten years of age).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However we looked, however we clicked, I have always known my parents loved me no matter what (except, apparently, for a few moments when I must have been angry about something when I was two).  Likewise, my siblings know they are loved too and that was - and is - the important thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-29T22:17:37.140" LastActivityDate="2013-11-29T22:17:37.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8524" CreationDate="2013-11-28T21:23:05.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Color blindness usually makes it hard for those that have it to tell apart Red and Orange or Blue, Green, Black and Purple, but rarely does it mean the color blind person can't tell a warm color (red) and a cool color (blue) apart.  So I'm guessing no to the color blindness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, he is probably just mis-speaking or getting his &quot;wires crossed&quot; as it were.  If he still does this in another year or two, I'd be concerned, but at this point, kids often have these sorts of confusions from time to time.  My daughter used to have frequent trouble with Mom and Dad, Cow and Donkey, 9 and 7, and Purple and Yellow, at about your son's age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the latter half of three, early fours, she'd still confuse them, but stop herself shake her head and laugh and correct her own mistake.  She knew better, things just still came out wrong some of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-11-28T21:23:05.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10590" CreationDate="2013-11-29T00:33:51.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have his hearing tested. Our son had hearing problems until age 4.5 and we did not even realise it. He behaved in the same way that your child seems to be behaving. Surgery fixed his hearing, but it still took over a year for him to catch up. I'm not sure where you're from. In Australia, this is a free test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the problem persists, you may consider a figure-ground assessment. Some children cannot filter out background noise from conversation. Unfortunately, our lad has this too. This seriously affects how they handle a class environment which is pretty much constant noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-11-29T00:33:51.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10600" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-29T12:29:20.243" Score="1" ViewCount="18072" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife had quite a tough time during pregnancy. She had morning sickness all the way through, vomiting regularly, although not enough to put her in hospital or require treatment. She also had severe heartburn. As the baby was breach with the cord around her neck, she had an elective caesarian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They both seem to be in good health now, except that my wife is especially prone to stomach bugs/food poisoning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time this happened was 6-8 months after birth. My wife came down with a norovirus-like bug, lasting a day or two, recovered, then came down with something similar 2 weeks later, and again a week after that. My daughter was fine and I was only sick for one day. The local hospital did an abdominal ultrasound, but found nothing unusual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, a year later she's had another bout and still feels a bit nauseous ten days later. I'm fine, despite being in close proximity and eating the same things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously we're not looking for medical advice, but I'm wondering whether she might have been made more susceptible to this kind of thing as a result of pregnancy or the caesarian operation? Has anyone heard of that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2017-11-29T12:53:56.247" Title="Stomach damage/sickness long after pregnancy?" Tags="|pregnancy|parents|sickness|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2017-11-29T16:28:45.027" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10600" CreationDate="2013-11-29T13:35:51.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had a similar experience, but been told I was crazy for connecting the pregnancy to my post-pregnancy stomach problems (8.5 months of sever nausea to the point I did need help getting re-hydrated, ceasarian heartburn etc during pregnancy and then easily made naseausous after).  So, even though I've never heard of it - I too, have experienced it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seven years later I've figured a few things out that help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stay hydrated!!  Hangovers and their symptoms are actually caused largely by the dehydration alcohol causes.  Considering this, since I am so suceptable to nausea, I figure it best to stay overly-hydrated so I can do everything possible to avoid the nausea.  It really does seem to help too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever the cause - I have found that keeping light quick snacks around helps.  My stomach is less likely to become upset, or for heartburn or reflux to set in if I eat 4-6 times per day rather than the usual three.  Of course, these have to be much smaller meals.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also don't drink (even water) &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; my meals, but drink water in small sips throughout the day and I drink other liquids (like cofee, milk, juices, teas and alcohol) only after I've had a light snack that included something like crackers or toast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend to avoid really cold beverages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I get overly tired, I am more prone to stomach bugs/nausea than if I am well rested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course eating healthier food choices and getting regular exercise also makes a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-29T23:10:28.477" LastActivityDate="2013-11-29T23:10:28.477" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10602" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-11-29T15:36:11.110" Score="5" ViewCount="480" Body="&lt;p&gt;Puppies do a lot of &quot;mouthing&quot; including, often, on their owners and care-givers if allowed, and when they get excited they jump up on kids a lot.  for anyone around 5 or younger, this is probably quite intimidating even from relatively small dogs.  I want to be sure my child and the children I care for are safe from being bitten by an over-excited puppy and/or knocked over.  I also want to be sure the dog is fairly safe from pulled hair, ears and tail, poked eyes and other unpleasant things for the dog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some rules and procedures I can instill to be sure to keep everyone &quot;safe?&quot; or at least, &quot;safer?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-02T21:26:01.103" LastActivityDate="2017-09-12T16:28:02.787" Title="How to make sure my dog and daughter have a safe relationship" Tags="|toddler|primary-schooler|pets|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10602" CreationDate="2013-11-29T19:12:29.880" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Balanced Mama! There are lots of ways to make sure your kids and your dog are safe from one another.  A lot of websites and books exhort you to &quot;always watch your dog and child together,&quot; but they don't always tell you what to look for.  You want to watch for your dog's very first signs of discomfort, and depending on your dog, these can be very subtle:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;averted eyes or &quot;whale eye&quot; in which you can see the whites of your dog's eyes. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;moving away, or leaning away from the child,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lip licking &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ears pinned back (depends on dog's ear shape)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sweaty foot pads (leaving little pad prints as they walk)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you see your dog exhibiting these stress signals, make sure he gets some space from the child immediately. Dogs tolerate a LOT from us humans, but they shouldn't have to.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure your dog has a safe place to go where your toddler cannot pursue him.  For older children teach them to never disturb a sleeping dog, or a dog who's in his special place.  For younger children, don't risk it, just make sure they can't even get to that place.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never punish your dog for growling at your child.  Growling is a WAY better warning signal than a snap at your child's body or face.  If a dog growls at you, your first instinct can be to react with anger or to try to stop it, but instead you should say (something like) &quot;Thank you for the clear warning.  I'm going to give you the space you need right now before this gets scarier for you or worse for me.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're too tired or overwhelmed, or don't have the capacity to focus on the interactions between your dog and your child, just keep them separated--with ex-pens or doors or a crate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!  I think you can do this!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6179" LastActivityDate="2013-11-29T19:12:29.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10604" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10651" CreationDate="2013-11-29T20:02:21.133" Score="6" ViewCount="667" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year old can read books for thirteen year olds and understand what she is reading.  She has good fluency even while reading books for eleven year olds.  Her vocabulary is that of a 16 or 17 year old according to testing we've just done.  She is an incredible reader!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of a sudden, she is shy about reading out loud during family reading time, because she is worried about not reading quickly and smoothly.  We are re-reading The Hobbit at the moment and she reads it almost as well as her Dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a conversation about how fluency comes from practice and how even the best adult readers will have pauses occasionally when they weren't intendended when reading something out loud for the first time - especially when what they are reading has complex sentence structures and new vocabulary (and especially when the reader is trying to do voices and such - which she likes to do.  She's got an awesome Standard British accent - according to a couple of Brits I know and her director).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This conversation helped her a lot and she is willing to read to me, but is still shy about reading with all of us or to others outside the family.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, there are times, when her father gets a bit impatient - he has a hard time listening to others reading to begin with as he has adult ADD and looses focus easily.  What can I do to help my daughter regain her confidence as well as help my husband understand why it is important to maintain his patience when she does run into a new word or trips up a little?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just an update:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Between a combination of talking to Alice about her Dad's idosyncracies and speaking with her Dad about finding more patience for longer and why that was so important for his daughter, we have worked through matters on this front and she is back to herself again and reading like a fiend.  Actually, now we have the new problem of helping her have more patience with her Dad's reading of Shakespeare.  By continuing to practice and not worry about being &quot;perfect&quot; (and the fact that she can pick-apart her Dad's Elizabethan Accent and he is no longer seen as perfect either . . .).  We've been able to move on - plus, the next book pick is his  :-) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-04T04:21:38.383" LastActivityDate="2014-02-04T17:42:59.253" Title="All of a sudden my daughter thinks she isn't reading well, because sometimes her fluency slows" Tags="|primary-schooler|reading|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10602" CreationDate="2013-11-29T20:57:43.843" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a recent owner of Corgi pup, I have also thought and sought advice for this particular aspect. &#xA;What I can tell from my experience and recommendations from other owners/trainers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) how to avoid jumping on people - when a pup jumps, simply put your hands in front and block the way with words 'down' or 'no'. if the dog keeps jumping, push the dog with your hands down, but not too hard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) playing without mouthing - use dog toys for plays (especially when running in the backyard) , so that the pup bites the toys but not the hands. some dog owners also grab the dog's mouth to shut it with the strict 'no'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) explain the kid that dogs are not toys and ask the kid how would he feel if someone pulled his hair/poked his eyes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;always praise the dog for good behavior! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6180" LastActivityDate="2013-11-29T20:57:43.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9343" CreationDate="2013-11-29T22:50:33.447" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many fully-grown adults require a certain amount of noise to sleep (hence the sleep function on your TV and on many alarm clocks that include a radio function as well).  I did find &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11239666&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;one study (and admittedly only read the abstract&lt;/a&gt;) that showed that background &lt;strong&gt;music&lt;/strong&gt; can result in delayed sleep and sleep with less depth.  However, the study was more focused on whether music helped the listeners to stay awake after sleep deprivation.  It also had a very small study group, so the findings may not be all that reliable anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many sleep training books actually suggest using white noise for babies and toddlers (which I realize, your daughter is not, but I know of adults that also use such devices) that are learning to self-soothe to help prevent waking, but white noise is quite different from the talking, sound effects and musical combinations one might hear while the TV is on.  Perhaps adding a fan for its noise, a musical device that can play recordings of waves, or rain or whatever into her room, or a white noise device could help a little as a way of transitioning from needing to hear the TV to just to needing a little background noise that is soothing to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Counter-intuitive, but. . . I gather from the statement:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Often, when I go to bed at a reasonable hour, she wakes up and comes&#xA;  into my bed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That it isn't really about the noise as much as it is about knowing where you are or what you are doing.  If that is the case, maybe going in and giving one light kiss on your way to your own bed would be a nice way of communicating that information to her.  &quot;I'm going to bed now, but I'll just be in my bedroom after this point.&quot;  If she isn't awake, she might still pick up on the cue sub-consciously and feel more secure.  If she is awake, she is getting the info she needs to feel more comfortable and fall asleep anyway?  Might be worth asking her what she thinks of the idea at least.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've asked another question that makes me think you are already getting the kids to work on staying out of your room (or that this question is retro-active) so I'll leave that part of the equation to that other question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-11-29T23:06:36.193" LastActivityDate="2013-11-29T23:06:36.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10607" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10614" CreationDate="2013-11-29T22:59:29.427" Score="8" ViewCount="14291" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since my heritage includes a few of the more hairy ethnicities from Europe, my family is quite hairy and always has been, (you should see my hobbit feet in winter when I haven't shaved them for example - at least they aren't as bad as my father's but still. . . )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was young, I had hairy legs before my legs became truly hairy because of adolescence.  Early in fourth grade, a then-girlfriend of mine &quot;dumped me&quot; because I had hairy legs and wasn't shaving yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has my genes and though she, thankfully, has a lighter hair color than I, she too already has quite a bit of hair on her legs.  I don't plan on pointing it out or anything - I figure she'll let me know when she has noticed and wants to do something about it.  However, I was wondering approximately when I am likely to recieve this information/request from her, as most of the kids I have dealt with were students and I didn't pay much attention to whether their legs were shaved or not, or they were way too young.  Is there an average age young girls start this practice?  It does seem to me, it is fairly likely a lot of girls begin before sixth grade - am I correct on that count?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2015-08-10T13:39:10.337" Title="When do girls usually start shaving?" Tags="|hygiene|girls|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10600" CreationDate="2013-11-29T23:17:31.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always had an &quot;iron stomach,&quot; until I became a mother. In the first  two years of my daughter's life I was sick 5 times with norovirus or something similar, once I had to go to the ER for IV fluids and twice I got sick, recovered and then relapsed. Besidss that, I was frequently sick with URI's. This is what I learned from my MD and my Naturopath:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During pregnancy, hormonal changes occur that impact the mother's immune system, possibly making her more succeptible to viral or bacterial infections. Postpartum, both breast feeding, which suppresses estrogen production, and lack of sleep can weaken mom's immune response. Stress is yet another risk factor for weakened immune response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nutritional deficiencies will also negatively effect disease resistance. Vitamin D deficiency, especially prevalent in the northern hemisphere during fall and winter can lower immune response, as can anemia. Bouts of food poisoning or gastroenteritis can damage cells lining the intestine and deplete healthy intestinal flora, making it more difficult to digest food and absorb nutrients; exacerbating and perpetuating the problem. Antibiotics also kill off intestinal flora.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What really helped me the most was taking high-quality probiotics and a course of vitamin d at a very high dose prescribed by my doctor. Those two things, plus learning some easy stress reduction techniques made a world of difference in my health and energy. Adequate rest and exercise are beneficial too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope your wife is feeling better soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-11-29T23:17:31.270" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10610" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10724" CreationDate="2013-11-30T14:30:23.513" Score="13" ViewCount="1576" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kid's age is currently 6 months.&#xA;Country: India&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can write English well but am not fluent when it comes to speaking. I don;t have any native English speakers around me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are my other options of making the kid learn English &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;at home&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2013-12-03T00:48:06.027" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T13:31:19.677" Title="How to teach a child a foreign language at home when both parents aren't native speakers of a different language?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10610" CreationDate="2013-11-30T15:47:17.190" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to teach your child English is to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; speak it at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a friend who works with non-native kids in a school, helping them catch up. She says the typical profile of the children coming to her are kids whose parents tried to speak the local language with them... badly. The parents have good intentions, but by the time the kids would start school, the only language they would know is an ungrammatical, nonfluent, broken variant of the local language. Kids whose parents use their native language at home are in a much better position: they are competent speakers of at least one language, they have the natural fluency that comes with speaking well, and their brains are used to automatic use of proper grammar. For them, learning a new language is a simple process of learning new words and some new rules. These kids typically stay in my friend's remedial class much shorter, and go on to have better grades in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was born, in a country which is foreign to us, several pediatricians gave us the same advice: use only your native language. And since my son is learning two different languages at home at once, I have come to observe the fact that learning that a concept can have a name is very different (and much more difficult) than learning that the concept has another name in another language. For example, he might not understand colors at all, but once something clicks and he learns the name of a color for the first time, he'll be able to learn it in his other two languages in no time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the best way to teach your child English &lt;em&gt;at home&lt;/em&gt; is to get an English-speaking babysitter. :) You can also turn on the radio, spend time with people who are native speakers, or enroll your child in daycare. Over time, your child will very likely learn English much better than your native tongue anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-11-30T15:47:17.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9326" CreationDate="2013-12-01T03:24:42.183" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience the following can contribute to the behavior you described:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;negative, stressful environment at home&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;exposure to violent content in TV and movies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;frustration with inability to communicate ones feelings&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;etc.&#xA;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest to try the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid shouting and do not use any physical violence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Limit TV time and avoid movies with inappropriate content&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find time to ask the child why he/she behave certain way. Constant communication is important because it allows child to know you care about them and they have say.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find what your child interests are and involve them in team sports such as soccer and individual activities like swimming lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have regular lunch/dinner together. Some of the benefits:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Family meals allow parents an opportunity to be aware of and monitor their children’s moods, behaviors and activities with friends. This kind of parental monitoring is important&#xA;for parents to be able to know what their kids are doing, who they are with, and where and when their activities are taking place.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Family meals give regular structure and routine to a child’s day. If a child knows that he or she can expect a reliable schedule, it increases his or her sense of security and improves well-being.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Family meals make a positive impact on young children’s language acquisition and literacy development. Family meals furnish a daily opportunity for a parent or sibling to speak to an infant or toddler, and help them learn words, understand language and build conversation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finally, a striking number of studies give specific and wide-ranging evidence that family meals are an important “protective factor” in the lives of children and teenagers. Family meals are associated with a variety of positive outcomes that improve child well-being. These include a decreased risk of substance use or delinquency, heightened personal and social well-being, and better academic performance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(reference: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ag.ndsu.edu/eatsmart/eat-smart.-play-hard.-magazines-1/2009-eat-smart-play-hard-magazine/test-item&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ag.ndsu.edu/eatsmart/eat-smart.-play-hard.-magazines-1/2009-eat-smart-play-hard-magazine/test-item&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6185" LastActivityDate="2013-12-01T03:24:42.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10449" CreationDate="2013-12-01T03:40:13.440" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as the dad is responsible parent that takes well being and security of your son seriously then your son will benefit from having both parents in his life. They both can teach the child about life from different perspective and provide relationship that helps with emotional development. Also the dad has the right to have his son as part of his life given that he can fulfill his basic parenting responsibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you have basic communication with your former partner about the needs of your child? Is he honest, trustworthy and reliable? Is he emotionally stable and provides safe environment for your child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think these are the important questions to ask and think about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6185" LastEditorUserId="6185" LastEditDate="2017-01-02T17:48:59.617" LastActivityDate="2017-01-02T17:48:59.617" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10607" CreationDate="2013-12-01T08:22:21.500" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my 11 year old daughter's class, none are even close to this stage. Of my wider group of friends, only one has a daughter that has started shaving her legs, but she had to start at about 8 - very early puberty for that one...has her mother's genes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the UK's National Health Service guidance, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Most girls will begin puberty at 8-14 years of age, with the average age being 11. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but hair growth beyond the genitals isn't expected until the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Puberty/Pages/Symptoms.aspx&quot;&gt;Tanner Stage 5, which is usually just over 14 years old.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So your daughter is well ahead of the curve in this area - the key thing to do is to make sure she doesn't think it's weird or wrong, but just to accept that it is happening; that you had to deal with the same thing; and that it shouldn't be a major problem. She can decide whether she wants to do something about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-12-01T08:22:21.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10610" CreationDate="2013-12-01T10:31:13.367" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My situation is as follows I am English but for a number of years worked for a large engineering company in Thailand.  Here there were a few English families and Japanese families together with the local Thai population.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While living in Thailand I married a local girl and we had our daughter. At the time my wife spoke little English and my Thai was less than ideal but I was able to a conversation on most subjects without too much difficulty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially at least we decided that I should speak English at home to our daughter but as my wife's English was poor I had to have the majority of conversations with her in Thai.  We rapidly decided this was a bad idea as she was confusing the two languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children do not seam to have much problem learning more than one language at the same time providing the context was clear so we spoke only Thai at home and when with Thai friends but English when with our English and Japanese friends.  My daughter was then more able to keep these separate in her head and now speaks both fluently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have since moved back to England and I am divorced though I still keep in contact with my ex wife and I have custody of my daughter.  Today my daughter only speaks English with me and with her friends here but is happy to continue to speak Thai to her extended family and friends in Thailand both on the phone and when I take her on holiday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's essential to learn a language from people who speak it fluently otherwise you will teach your child how to speak the language badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6116" LastEditorUserId="6116" LastEditDate="2013-12-01T11:46:31.697" LastActivityDate="2013-12-01T11:46:31.697" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3855" CreationDate="2013-12-01T14:16:50.320" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Intrauterine sound levels have been measured to run between 72dB and 88dB. For us, things start to sound loud at about 75db. Hearing damage will result from continued exposure to sound over 85dB. This makes it sound like babies are shielded, somehow, from sound levels that would bother or damage us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, inside the womb (unlike outside it) the middle ear is fluid-filled; the hearing mechanism is mostly through bone conduction and this results in large attenuation of higher frequency sounds -- 20-30dB. Fetuses are cushioned; babies are not. White noise is distinguished by having equal power at all frequencies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without further careful analysis of fetal hearing mechanics as compared with those of young babies, we should be wary of exposing babies to high noise levels. We're playing with fire here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;References&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/hearing/pages/noise.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Noise levels and hearing loss&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2222618&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Intrauterine sound levels&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intrauterine hearing mechanisms: same as previous but with final number = 8899910&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;White noise: see Wikipedia article.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6186" LastEditorUserId="3133" LastEditDate="2013-12-02T12:49:01.150" LastActivityDate="2013-12-02T12:49:01.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10617" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10624" CreationDate="2013-12-01T17:28:53.393" Score="4" ViewCount="2128" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven-year-old daughter only ever wants to wear skirts, dresses, or sweat pants.  Most of the time, this is just fine, but there are occasions when jeans or slacks are really the most appropriate item to wear (particularly field experiences and times when we will be doing activities where we get down on our hands and knees in the dirt).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those of you who may have a more urban life-style or live in a place with a more forgiving ecosystems nearby, there are outdoor activities we do that because of the type of activity, and/or the type of brush and habitat we are working in, having clothing that covers the entire leg really is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides, she is growing up, looks good in jeans and slacks and it is just time for her wardrobe to expand in this direction.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make sure she is as comfortabe as possible so she can enjoy these other types of clothes for when she does need to wear them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-06T13:19:08.620" LastActivityDate="2018-11-06T13:19:08.620" Title="My daughter hates all pants other than her sweats?" Tags="|primary-schooler|clothes|outdoor|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8316" CreationDate="2013-12-02T15:29:48.977" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds a bit extreme, but I can identify not because I have kids of my own, but because I shared some of your daughter's behaviours when I was a child, and my mother is a therapist: so I can share the way she helped me through them (from what little I can remember!) Her attitude is that both aggression and threats, and also hoarding are to do with trying to create personal boundaries. I think your daughter is trying to tell you to respect her sensitivity and boundaries, and punishing her is not going to make it better. It may even make it worse. Of course, if she is already in therapy, I am sure it will make improvements in the long run: but I believe you could help by investigating how you can reinforce your daughter's personal boundaries. These could include something as simple as letting her have a 'do not disturb' sign for her door and respecting it. Perhaps you could discuss ways you can reinforce her personal space with her therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6189" LastActivityDate="2013-12-02T15:29:48.977" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10602" CreationDate="2013-12-02T19:54:40.660" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the other end of the spectrum, teaching your child how to interact with the dog is just as important as training the dog out of behaviors like mouthing (fwiw, we had great luck with a spritzer filled with Bitter Apple; one squirt and the dog was all &quot;Blech! Not mouthing any more EVAH.&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a huge fur rug that some people call a Newfoundland. He's a great dog for kids 'cause he's extraordinarily patient with them, but we still spend a lot of time training them in interactions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With large dogs, we (personally) find that pack behavior leads to happier dogs and humans.  For the kids specifically,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ignore him when they see him and he goes NUTS (he might be an old campaigner but he's a puppy around his humans) until he calms down;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Walk through him if he's in their way (alpha never gives way to other members of the pack). IOW, walk as if he's not there, and don't look at him or acknowledge him;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give commands with backup from parents (they tell him to Sit and Recover for his dinner, tell him to Settle on his bed when he comes in, etc.).  With us standing behind them, he takes it more seriously.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And like @sleepyowl says, teaching the kids how to treat the dog and how to recognize when the dog has had ENOUGH are key.  I spent a lot of time reminding mine that the dog is a living creature and can feel pain just like they can.  They're very gentle with him now.  And with the cats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-12-02T19:54:40.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10620" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10627" CreationDate="2013-12-02T20:40:26.647" Score="5" ViewCount="172" Body="&lt;p&gt;With a seven month old on a plane, it can be pretty hard to feed the baby without making a mess, but we have a long flight ahead of us in coach as part of holiday travels.  He is old enough to be wishing to feed himself, can do so with puffs and baby crackers and the like, but still eats pretty soft and juicy kinds of things otherwise, so he often winds up fairly sticky (&lt;strong&gt;and so do those that are nearby&lt;/strong&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T06:56:35.417" Title="Feeding Baby while Traveling" Tags="|infant|food|travel|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10617" CreationDate="2013-12-02T20:42:17.907" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It could be the rough feel of the fabric or a tight fit in some parts that she finds uncomfortable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she doesn't like the tight waist, she may like bib-overalls. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have also seen jeans lined with sweatpants type of material that she may find more comfortable, although it is significantly warmer and probably only appropriate in winter. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In summer you could just let her use a skirt and let her knees get muddy. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have also noticed that the fit of girls jeans tends to be extremely &quot;skinny&quot;. She may want to shop for boys jeans with a looser fit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the only reason for her to wear slacks is fashion (you think she looks good in them), then let her win this part of the argument. I can't think of an occasion where they would be necessary, where a skirt couldn't be just as appropriate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2013-12-02T20:42:17.907" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10600" CreationDate="2013-12-02T21:06:30.940" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;After my pregnancy, I figured out that my intermittent stomach issues were related to fructose malabsorption. This would be something to look into if the vomiting is connected to excess gas/burping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There isn't really a treatment for it other than to avoid the worst offenders (apples and pears). Some people even have problems with a wider range of foods including tomatoes, dried fruits, and foods containing frucans (whole wheat, onions, garlic).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could be why she is affected when no one else in the family gets the &quot;bug&quot;. It is also intermittent because I only got a reaction when I overloaded my system with too much of the offending foods. I could tolerate them in small amounts, so it wasn't as obvious as an allergic reaction every time I ate them. I think my tolerance was reduced after the pregnancy, so I got sick more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some references include:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fructose_malabsorption&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fructose_malabsorption&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://theceliacmd.com/fructose-malabsorption-is-is-the-cause-of-my-tummy-troubles/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://theceliacmd.com/fructose-malabsorption-is-is-the-cause-of-my-tummy-troubles/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2013-12-02T21:06:30.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10584" CreationDate="2013-12-02T21:57:20.997" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the reluctance to keeping the infant out of the 4 year old's room? I could see the problem if the house is such that they have to share a room, but it sounds like they already have separate rooms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a place to go to get away from their sibling may become a benefit as they get older. You can start to develop the habit of these boundaries at a young age for safety reasons, but keep them in place as they age (i.e. siblings ask permission before entering the other's room).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2013-12-02T21:57:20.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10617" CreationDate="2013-12-02T23:38:05.613" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's super common for parents and children to disagree about what a child will need to be wearing in the immediate future (eg, when we get outside.) Anyone who lives in a place with a cold winter has had this argument about coats, hats, gloves, scarves, boots and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My approach: say once that I think you should wear this. Take your word for it when say you you don't want to wear it. Bring it with us when we go. When you say that you are cold, or that your leg got scratched, or that you're getting muddy, offer the item that was previously spurned. DO NOT use a phrasing like &quot;Oh, so I was right was I? Does this mean you wish you were wearing [item] after all? Ha! Ha!&quot; but more like &quot;Would these pants help?&quot; or &quot;I brought you a hat&quot; and that's all. (In your case you might also need to bring something to help deal with the scenario that made pants appealing, like a damp cloth to clean up with.) The key is that what you happened to wear when you first got up or as you were leaving the house is not a binding commitment. You can change. There are often good reasons to do so. This eliminates any aspect of stubbornness or digging-the-heels-in from the decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over time, you might change your initial offer from &quot;I think you should wear [item]&quot; to &quot;remember yesterday when you didn't want to wear [item] but wanted it later?&quot; but you might not need to. Over time, you might get fed up of being the one who is carrying [item] and possibly also the removed [original] but that is a milder problem to address. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-12-02T23:38:05.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10620" CreationDate="2013-12-03T00:27:04.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Flights are a brief disruption to routine, so you can and should adjust your routines to accommodate them as well.  In other words, if baby can't eat soft and juicy things cleanly yet, then either serve only non-soft/juicy foods he can eat well, or feed him with a spoon.  Skipping one day of &quot;learning how to eat&quot; won't do any harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And oh, some unsolicited advice spoken with the gravelly voice of experience: keep one eye on the baby's hands while you're eating your own food as well, so his sticky little fingers don't upend a tray of pasta into your lap...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T00:27:04.583" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10626" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10631" CreationDate="2013-12-03T06:32:54.800" Score="8" ViewCount="222" Body="&lt;p&gt;In some states, fostering is not necessarily the same as adopting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the state you are in there are at least two (though sometimes more) different types of foster care licenses.  The most well-known of course, being the adoptive license where you take a child into your care with the intention of adopting  that child permanently eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, where I am at, what is really needed most are family's that will do emergency care.  These are the homes that take in the children while a court decides whether the parents should be given another opportunity to make better parenting decisions or be stripped of their parenting rights.  Sometimes this might mean a child arrives in the middle of the night, with fresh bruises etc.  Emergency placement homes require a separate license and are not allowed to have the same children in their home for more than a set number of months (again, depending on the state one is in, this can work differently from place to place, so I am not specifying numbers here - where I am, it is less than a year).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the &quot;new sibling&quot; effect, I'd imagine this complex situation would have even more ramifications for our biological child.  Some good, others less pleasant.  Has anyone had experience with this or read any studies about it that can share some of the possible outcomes for our child while we help other children in need in a very personal way.  What considerations should be made for our daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T01:19:36.610" Title="Considering Fostering - How would this effect the child I already have?" Tags="|foster-parenting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10620" CreationDate="2013-12-03T06:56:35.417" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you seen those silicone squeeze pouches for infant feeding? They are sized for baby hands and you can fill them with soft foods like applesauce or other purees or yogurt. They're basically a reusable alternative to the disposable squeeze pouches you can get at the grocery store and I like that you can fill it with homemade food and control the amount of sugar and eliminate preservatives &amp;amp; other additives. The one I'm thinking of (Silli Squeeze), baby has to squeeze the bottle/pouch while biting/gumming the spout to get the food out, so it is pretty spill proof. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend letting your baby practice with it a bit before the flight though so you don't end up with a hungry and frustrated baby on the plane :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T06:56:35.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10628" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-03T09:44:10.730" Score="10" ViewCount="767" Body="&lt;p&gt;A kid in my neighborhood was born on the 24th of December. As long as he was a toddler, this didn't matter but he’s starting to notice that other kids have separate birthdays from Christmas and get gifts twice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No later than next year, the parents are going to want a solution for this little dilemma and we've been discussing it but I don't have really good ideas. What’s a good way to handle this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-09-17T12:13:37.967" Title="Birthday and Christmas on the same date" Tags="|pre-schooler|birthday|christmas|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10628" CreationDate="2013-12-03T10:21:52.377" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;My birthday is Christmas Eve and it's never been a problem for me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was little, my parents made sure that all the Christmas preparations were done by 23rd Dec, so the celebrations could start on 24th Dec and they weren't using Christmas Eve as last minute panic rush buying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also used to give me a kind of &quot;half birthday&quot; in the summer - no party or anything, but I would sometimes get an outdoor toy like a swingball set or whatever that would not have worked in the middle of winter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I often used to get a trip to the pantomime for my birthday and the panto stars would read out my birthday along with any others in the audience. And when I had bigger (whole-class or similar) birthday parties my friends' parents were always really glad to get their kids out of the house for a few hours on Christmas Eve :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few people used to give me &quot;joint presents&quot; but it never bothered me. My parents always made sure I had separate presents from them, birthday presents wrapped in birthday paper and Christmas wrapped in Christmas paper; and I always had a separate birthday cake not just &quot;Oh, we've got lots of Christmas cake already so we won't bother with a separate one&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long story short - I think kids like their birthday to be special for them and it's perfectly possible to do that on Christmas Eve, just maybe takes a tiny bit more forward planning! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[Aside, my daughter was born on New Years Eve and I think between us we've got the best two birthday dates in the whole year! She'll always have a party on her birthday! Much better to have a birthday right &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; a big general celebration when everyone is in celebratory anticipatory mood, rather than right &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; when everyone is hung over and fed up and on the down slope after the big bash!]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T10:21:52.377" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10584" CreationDate="2013-12-03T14:08:40.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is building a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=lego+table&amp;amp;espv=210&amp;amp;es_sm=122&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;tbo=u&amp;amp;source=univ&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=oeOdUpy2M6a2sAT_4IDYAg&amp;amp;ved=0CHgQsAQ&amp;amp;biw=1416&amp;amp;bih=865&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;lego table&lt;/a&gt;. They do sell these commercially, but if you are up to the task it wouldn't be that difficult to build your own to your specifications. This way you could make sure it was baby proof, and your four-year-old will most likely think it is awesome!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would sand down a sheet of plywood and add four legs (to be sturdy enough that it won't topple easily) and make sure the legs are tall enough that the baby can't reach the edge of the table. Then I would buy some large, flat lego baseplates and glue these to the plywood with super glue. From there it is really an open concept that you can do whatever you want with. There are lots of neat ideas online. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4481" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T14:08:40.097" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10626" CreationDate="2013-12-03T14:30:15.490" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our state, the license is the same.  We started fostering with the intention to adopt, but once we were licensed, the social workers asked us to take some temporary placements, and we agreed for a year.  We stopped after we adopted our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main negative was the exposure to bad habits.  Our biological daughter started hitting others after we fostered a two year-old boy that hit her.  She started screaming after fostering a four year-old that screamed.  Those habits mostly went away after working on them for a month or two, and I'm not sure she wouldn't have gone through that anyway as a normal stage, or from exposure at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The normal sibling effect is also somewhat stronger than usual, because the foster children's problems require more attention than normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, our permanent kids still miss the foster kids sometimes, even after a few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The licensing process is designed to prepare you for the experience, and answer all your questions.  Our state requires a 40-hour class where they cover basic parenting and also the unique parenting challenges of fostered and adopted children.  They address the horror stories and you talk to actual foster parents.  If your state has such a class, I highly recommend you take it, even if you're not sure about your decision.  At the end of the class, you can always opt out.  The social workers are used to people not being committed yet when they start the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time we started the process, we knew we weren't really ready because we kept putting off things like the home study.  The second time, we followed all the way through.  You'll never know if you're truly prepared unless you take a leap of faith with the first steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T14:30:15.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10628" CreationDate="2013-12-03T14:34:31.443" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My own mother deals with her early January birthday by having a &quot;birthday - observed&quot; party much as royalty celebrate their birthday on entirely different days that happen to be convenient. She typically moved it to March. This might not work for a small child where the date has some magic to it. The neighbor child I know did half birthdays in the summer for a long time, and then eventually epic teen birthday parties on the 24th or 26th, when many teens were thrilled with a chance to escape Family Celebration Time for a few hours and listen to loud music in a basement. It's also a great time of year to do tobogganing or skating parties if your weather supports it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are giving both birthday and Christmas presents, wrap them differently, and have a traditional birthday cake even though you're surrounded by so much Christmas feast. If there's something that is always done on the other kids' birthdays, do it on this one too, perhaps one day early or late. (Eg some families allow the birthday child to choose dinner that day, or to have no chores.) Don't dilute these benefits because of what day the birthday happens to be on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T14:34:31.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10617" CreationDate="2013-12-03T15:00:27.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter also refused to wear jeans, until the kids were told they had to as part of their fifth-grade nature's classroom field trip.  (Actually they were told they had to wear long pants -- no shorts allowed -- but thinking of all the hiking through the rocks and woods they would be doing that fall week, I insisted it had to be jeans.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After winning that battle, however, I let her win all the &quot;arguments&quot; as to what type of jeans.  I told her I wanted her to wear girl's jeans -- she insisted it had to be boy's jeans, because they were less restrictive.  I said the light blue were pretty -- she said regular blue.  I said a pair of black jeans would be handy in the future -- she told me she hated black jeans.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ended up with three pair of boy's blue jeans, including a carpenter pair that she loves because of the pockets and tool strap, and she's now choosing to wear them to school instead of shorts... at least when it's below forty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T15:00:27.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10589" CreationDate="2013-12-03T16:34:49.347" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sort of thing is common. One of my children (at that same age as it happens) once claimed not to know any gay people. Ignoring celebrities etc, I said &quot;What about [Bob] and [Steve]?&quot; The reply: &quot;what about them, are you saying they are gay?&quot; &quot;Well, they are married, they live in the same house, you've seen their house, you've been to parties, ...&quot; &quot;Oh.&quot; ....think.... &quot;OK, then.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be a challenge for kids to reconcile stereotypes others have told them with people they actually know. It is also hard to put two things in the same category. We've all seen a 3 or 4 year saying &quot;You're not [Alice], I'm the [Alice.]&quot; Or &quot;you're not a twin because I am a twin.&quot; So to put a real Lakota person who wears the same clothes and talks the same way into a category with &quot;tv Indians&quot; is hard. All you need to do is help. Don't worry about contradicting the stereotype. Her aunt does that everyday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T16:34:49.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10628" CreationDate="2013-12-03T17:19:28.280" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother was born on the 23rd December, so he had similar issues. As our culture does celebrate &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Name_day&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Name day&quot;&gt;Name Day&lt;/a&gt;, which is usually a lesser celebration as either Christmas or a birthday, it was common for him to have a larger party at his Name Day, which was at the other half of the year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6191" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T17:19:28.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10637" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-03T17:24:11.657" Score="10" ViewCount="579" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently adopted a couple of kittens (both males and currently over 3 month old).  My daughter (will be 6 in January) keeps picking any of them up, hugging him, treating him as a doll, and insisting not to loose him despite any advice or signs from her parents or the cat himself.  One of the cats already scratched her on the neck when trying to escape, and yesterday I heard the other one meowing in pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A little context:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We adopted the kittens a couple of months ago, soon after my mother-in-law died.  The kittens were born, almost feral, in the backyard of the nursing home where she spent her last months.  Before, she lived with us and she was close to her grandchildren.  My daughter seemed to deal with her grandmother's death quite fine at the beginning, but I've noticed she has become more irritable and sensitive.  We had already discussed in adopting a pet earlier, before my m-o-l's disease (and me and my wife are cat people, and my kids had also shown predilection to cats), so from my point of view adopting these kittens were rather an opportunity than a replacement.  But now I am worried that my daughter's inability to let the cats free might be related.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to keep this question related to the relationship between my daughter and the cats, rather than on mourning.  I just don't know if the context has to do with the issue or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4747" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T22:45:38.793" Title="Teaching my daughter her pets are not toys" Tags="|behavior|pets|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10637" CreationDate="2013-12-03T22:45:38.793" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was the same way with her kitten when we first got it (no mouring issues at the same time).  Rather than thinking it was about her considering the cat her toy, it was more like an over-exuberance of love for the cat and wanting to have it near all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We spoke with her about how true love is shown with respect for the needs and wishes of the thing you love.  Then I showed her how it felt for the cat (and told her that was what I was doing).  I hugged her long and tight (without hurting her) and when she wanted to move a squeezed her a little.  We talked afterward, how it felt like love at first but then how she needed to move and it started to feel uncomforable.  Then I explained to her that for the cat, it might actually hurt or be really scarry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We taught her how to &quot;speak cat&quot; - i.e. ways cats say they are welcoming your attention, vs. ways cat say, &quot;get away.&quot;  We also taught her the 90/10 rule.  She can go 90% of the way, but then she has to let the cat do the other 10% and come to her (Thanks Will Smith).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, we set up some hard and fast rules.  The cat had a couple of spots that were designated as &quot;his&quot; and if he was in those spots she was not allowed to touch him.  She also was never allowed to pick him up.  All four of the cats feet had to be on the floor (or where he wanted them) at all times.  If she broke those rules, she had to play in her room so the cat could roam the house freely without fear of her for at least ten minutes (this felt like a hugely negative consequence to her).  If the cat hissed, scratched at or bit her, I took care of things (some neosporin and a band-aid if needed), but she didn't get sympathy.  &quot;He tried to warn you he wanted his space and you didn't listen - it is the only way he has to protect himself.  I'm sorry you are hurting, but maybe next time you will remember he is also a living thing with needs and feelings too.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just like with anything, it took some repetition, and she did get scratched pretty well twice.  Then they figured things out and all is well (except now we have a different cat that is a little less predictable).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T22:45:38.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10639" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-03T23:05:19.273" Score="9" ViewCount="815" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I am not asking if it is okay to perpetuate the Santa Myth here.&lt;/strong&gt;  There is another question about that &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6208/2876&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.  I am also not asking &lt;strong&gt;when&lt;/strong&gt; this is likely to happen.  That is answered &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/608/2876&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am asking how to help a child that has believed in Santa to move through the moment of realization when Santa suddenly is no longer real whether they figured it out for themselves or because some other child let the cat out of the bag is irrelevent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is really two-fold because often, when they find out, they share their knowledge with their &quot;friends&quot; and pass the grief on as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do you help them move through the grief and enjoy the holiday anyway?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do you help make sure your kid isn't the one letting the cat out of the bag for everyone else?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T06:23:45.510" Title="What to tell the child that says, &quot;Mom, is Santa really real?&quot;" Tags="|primary-schooler|daycare|holidays|santa|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10639" CreationDate="2013-12-03T23:34:10.243" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;For us, we explain that Santa is all of us. That Santa is in fact still real, but not as a tangible human, more as an emotion or a motivation in us all. So parents fill the stockings - but not exclusively, since I fill my mother's stocking and she adds things to the ones I helped to fill. And we send &quot;stocking extras&quot; in parcels to be added to stockings when they're being filled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We insisted from Day 1 that no wrapped or labeled present could be &quot;from Santa&quot;. Everything wrapped was from someone. Santa never happens to have Nana's or Grampa's handwriting, or to use the same paper as Auntie Jane. Some large things (toboggans and other hard to wrap) were just put, unwrapped, near stockings. This reduced the level of deception and out and out lying that the kids would need to reconcile later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In effect, we are all Santa's helpers, and if you're old enough to be in on it, you're a Santa's helper too - and that includes using the name Santa to refer to the collective generosity of a family and a community, using terminology small people can understand. Worked for us, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-12-03T23:34:10.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10641" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10654" CreationDate="2013-12-04T00:13:04.183" Score="5" ViewCount="276" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nephew has two older sisters.  One is heavily active in soccer and gymnastics, while the other is in Karate, basketball and dance.  Both girls have tried other activities as well and always do well at the things they try.  For whatever reason, things don't come quite as easily for their little brother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he is five years younger than the middle sister, he really looks up to both of them and has tried all five of the activities they are in, but seems to always be in their shadow.  He has recently started asking his mom for an activity of his own but between scheduling, searching his intersests and just finding an activity one or the other of the girls hasn't tried has proven difficult for his mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else had this experience and what did you do about it to help the third sibling be encouraged to keep trying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2018-03-30T13:46:29.330" Title="How does one help the third child have activities of &quot;his own?&quot;" Tags="|activities|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10642" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-04T00:49:18.013" Score="12" ViewCount="4289" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I disagree about this. I think it's a bit selfish and neglectful to leave her alone, especially when for the first 20 minutes she just cried and screamed. After that she was pretending her doll was her baby and feeding it and burping it. This indicates she feels a little abandoned and is looking for something to love her, even just an inanimate doll. Am I reading too much into this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6193" LastEditorDisplayName="user4784" LastEditDate="2013-12-04T05:24:59.813" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T00:33:21.220" Title="Is it okay to leave a 3 year old alone to nap for 1 hour and 45 minutes if she isn't napping?" Tags="|pre-schooler|safety|parents|supervision|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10642" CreationDate="2013-12-04T01:22:22.473" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are reading too much into it. Your three-your-old calmed herself down and contented herself with quiet play instead of napping. She is playing with dolls because that's what many three-year-olds do. And while she wasn't napping, she was having quiet play which is a restful alternative. The ability to entertain oneself is an important life skill!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T01:22:22.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10639" CreationDate="2013-12-04T01:30:55.613" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Creating Santa is about making magic. When kids finally figure out there is no Santa, you can explain that they are right, Mum and Dad were just making magic for them, and now that they have figured it out, they get to be like the grown-ups and help make magic for younger children. While saddened by the realization that there is no Santa, they will be relieved to realize they still get presents, and they will enjoy being part of the magic game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The feeling kids experience here is more akin to disappointment than actual grief. This is a small introduction into how to process your thinking when something turns out to be not what you thought it was. It is a right of passage for many children the world over. In its own different way, it as as rich an experience as the magic of Santa was before it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to note - once they figure out Santa, all the other magic beings fall like dominoes - tooth fairy, Easter Bunny...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T01:30:55.613" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10607" CreationDate="2013-12-04T03:15:35.220" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started shaving in 6th grade when the girl who sat next to me in gym pointed out to me my legs were hairy.  My leg hair wasn't dark--it was quite blond, actually, but it was mortifying that a classmate had to point this out to me.  It quickly dawned on me that I was probably one of the last girls in my substantial 6th grade class to start shaving my legs.  My mom also assumed, I suppose, that I would mention to her when I needed to shave my legs.  I wish she'd paid more attention and encouraged me to shave sooner so I could have avoided the embarrassment.  I asked my mom that night if I could shave my legs and she, of course, said yes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T03:15:35.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10604" CreationDate="2013-12-04T03:58:49.127" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is not unusual for a smart child to want to stay inside their comfort zone. One of the big traps of success is that it can lead a smart child to a fear of failure. This would be especially true of public failure, such as reading out loud. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advice I've seem most often in response to this is to encourage the effort, not the result. We've pushed the line that failure is fine as that is how you build experiences to learn from - that is the whole point of school (and life). Hitting a word you don't know is great since it's a chance to learn something new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have applied this to my daughter and it seems to have helped her put in effort in areas where success is not guaranteed for her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T03:58:49.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10642" CreationDate="2013-12-04T05:40:19.223" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In agreement with Mary Jo's answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children will play with their toys, pretending to feed and burp a doll does not mean a sign of neglect or abandonment, it has been a tradition of girls for generations and plays a part of role play, conditioning and preparation for a particular role as a parent (much as lion cubs play fight and hunt each other in preparation for hunting as adult lions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many mother's crave sleep (as do father's) and provided the child is safe, there should be no harm in a parent napping. Given the scarcity of details it would be hard to comment on much further on the situation. As to where your child is while your wife is napping. I would nap on the couch while my son was playing beside me (if he wasn't napping), that way he was supervised, as I would not go into a deep sleep when napping like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So with the issue of safety and neglect out of the way, I think we need to look at the more important issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Disclaimer: Please I stress, it is good to come here with questions, I am making an observation of what may be a deeper cause.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not a good sign to be bringing a he said she said type of post into a public forum. There are many ways to cloak a question without it being a direct reference to such a source of conflict within a relationship. As internet strangers cannot adjudicate between the two of you and decide what is right or wrong here, as we do not really have the full picture. My way of thinking this indicates that the issue that needs to be addressed is the communication between you and your wife. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parenting puts strain on both parents, it tests a relationship and totally changes the dynamics and expectations between couples. It's a huge adjustment and can remain so for some time. For some couples it is not until the children are at school that they work out some harmony and synchronization with child raising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The real issue here is for you and your wife to be able to communicate, her needs and feelings of fatigue and how these can be addressed, without recrimination over parenting. When my son was a baby, an old friend would say to me, for a happy child make a happy mother. I think there is a lot of wisdom in this; except of course this extends to fathers and all care givers. The primary care giver, is the one who spends the most time with a child (&lt;em&gt;obviously, by definition&lt;/em&gt;), and as such, it pays dividends to look after this person, in the overall picture of caring for a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21179" LastEditorDisplayName="user21179" LastEditDate="2013-12-04T11:19:33.653" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T11:19:33.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10639" CreationDate="2013-12-04T06:23:45.510" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually believe he does exist in a way similar to that depicted in the article, &quot;Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.&quot;  So, when my daughter asked about it at five I said, &quot;what do you think&quot; she said, &quot;I think he is real.&quot;  Two weeks ago when she asked at six and said, &quot;I don't know Mom&quot; I responded by telling her the story of St. Nicholas and fessing up to the fact that Mommy and Daddy fill her stocking.  We also watched the movie, &quot;yes Virginia&quot; and talked about the fact that St. Nick represents the spirit of the season - selfless giving and that in that he exists, just not as a sleigh-driving, elf enslaving fat man at the top of the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/who-is-st-nicholas/&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; will tell you about the origin of St. Nicholas including the story I told Alice, he gave gold to young girls in need of a dowry for marriage so they could be matched well and he did it in secret.  He has since been known as &quot;The Children's Saint.&quot;  The article gives a lot more detail about his life and the miracle of manna at his grave for which he was named a saint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; will allow you to read the original text written as an editorial in the New York Sun in answer to an eight year old's question about whether Santa was indeed Real or Not.  If you aren't familiar, the answer includes this sentiment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my parents answered me in this way, I never felt lied to, just loved.  It seems my own daughter has responded the same way.  A minor sense of disappointment at the loss of the magic and a sense of responsibility for keeping the magic alive for others who haven't figured things out yet along with a hope in the spirit of the season and an appreciation for anonymous giving for the joy and benefit of others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T06:23:45.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10642" CreationDate="2013-12-04T10:21:21.230" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me provide a few separate comments:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Nap time&quot; is often also called &quot;quiet time&quot; because sleep is not mandatory, but the point is being quiet (and calm) for a while. So it's not a problem in my view that she doesn't actually sleep in that time. Many children of that age have outgrown the noon nap anyway. But it's good to still practice a bit of &quot;quiet time.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I would personally not let a child &lt;em&gt;&quot;cry and scream&quot;&lt;/em&gt; for 20 minutes, but that is a matter of parenting style. There's an approach called &quot;cry it out&quot; that basically says to let the child scream for as long as it takes. Another approach would be to stop by every few minutes with a few soothing words, then leave again. It seems to me that you have different opinions on what approach to use. &lt;strong&gt;Consistency is important&lt;/strong&gt; so you should discuss this and agree on a method.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To reiterate my previous sentence, it sounds like the parents don't agree on details in the parenting style. You should discuss any such disagreements &lt;em&gt;as objectively as possible&lt;/em&gt; - try not to get emotional because that is rarely conducive to an agreement. Talk about what &quot;your&quot; preferred style is and &quot;why&quot; that is - and also how &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; interpret the situation in your question (abandonment) because I suspect that your wife has a completely opposite interpretation (self-development, perhaps?). &lt;strong&gt;Don't assume&lt;/strong&gt; -- neither about a situation, nor about the spouse's reasoning. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;When you assume, you make an ASS of U and ME...&quot;&lt;/em&gt; &amp;lt;-- I'm just saying that assumptions are often misleading, and discussions help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T10:21:21.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10604" CreationDate="2013-12-04T12:05:56.747" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it would help to draw a distinction between reading aloud to inform (clearly and pleasantly, so that others can understand) and reading aloud to entertain (to keep others in stitches, or at the edge of their seats), and to say that your daughter is very good at the first, but at the second, she isn't, yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading aloud to entertain is something of an art, and requires a lot of life experience (though it can be second-hand, via movies or television).   Reading aloud well enough that another adult would prefer to listen, instead of reading the book themselves, requires more than &quot;fluency and expression&quot; (the qualities teachers are looking for).  Besides the normal adult experience of human emotions, reactions, and accents, one also needs... drama, a sense of timing, attitude.  It does not always require reading quickly; you need to know when to slow down, or even draw out a pause. If a reader has these things, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;it doesn't matter&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; if she stumbles over words occasionally, or has to go back once in a while to reread something with a better choice of emotion/pauses/tone of voice; her listener is so wrapped up in the story he doesn't care. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be very surprised if your daughter reads at that level; most &lt;em&gt;adults&lt;/em&gt; I know do not, though they can generally keep their children entertained.  It sounds like she reads well enough to keep &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; entertained; but you are her mother, and do not have ADD.  I'm guessing that in the past either her amazing precociousness (they're so &lt;em&gt;cute&lt;/em&gt; when they're small, aren't they?) was enough to hold your husband's attention, or perhaps he was bored then, too, but she didn't notice.  Whatever...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter has gotten old enough to notice and care about boring her audience, I'd say you can applaud this milestone in maturity.  Seriously.  Young children are self-centered and oblivious; adults -- or those adults we enjoy being with -- are more sensitive.  So don't work too hard on trying to get your husband to listen with a convincing air of raptness; it seems your daughter is old enough to not be patronized.  Instead, take the focus off ability and put it on learning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you tell her she's very good at casual reading aloud; now you guys want to step it up and try to become awesome story readers.  Make the family read-aloud time a fun &lt;em&gt;practice&lt;/em&gt; time to improve everyone's read aloud skills.  (Find new and interesting books, to help your husband not be bored.)  She can try out new tricks -- odd pauses, funny voices, scary whispers -- to see what works on her audience.  All of you can be doing this.  Make mistakes.  Show her no one is expected to be perfect, but to have fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T12:05:56.747" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10641" CreationDate="2013-12-04T14:31:14.560" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe he needs to try something less &quot;sportsy&quot; and more &quot;artsy&quot;.  Maybe he would enjoy getting involved in theater or taking some art classes or joining a children's choir or piano lessons?  If his sisters excel in athletics then finding something completely different might be the push he needs to distinguish himself.  If athletics is a priority in his family, then many cities and municipalities offer intramural leagues which might give him an opportunity to try out some sports his sisters might not have (I know our town offers flag football as well as t-ball/baseball and lacrosse in addition to soccer).  At age five, swimming lessons could be considered an activity that could turn into his involvement in a swim team.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is not the most athletically inclined child either, but he is involved in martial arts.  He isn't the most graceful student in his class, but we do encourage practice and celebrate improvement.  Plus, five year olds are just awkward--they're going through growth spurts and they're not going to have the fine motor skills of an 8 or 9 year old.  If I expected my 5-year-old to throw a punch like a 10 year old, I'd be disappointed.  Helping him to realize that his sisters probably weren't as good at their activities when they started out as they are now might make him feel better (and if they were then he doesn't have to know all those gory details), and his seeing their improvement as they've practiced and grown might be the encouragement he needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, and this is completely out of your control, it might be time for his mom to encourage his sisters to look at dropping an activity if scheduling is a real problem.  You hate to do that, but if none of the children are old enough to drive themselves to practices and games and mom is the only current mode of transportation, then it's not fair to the youngest to say, &quot;Oh, I know you're really interested in that, but sister X has this on Monday and sister Y has this on Wednesday&quot;.  What you're really saying is &quot;You're interests aren't as important as your sisters interests&quot;.  Or maybe it's time for his sisters to start carpooling to practices with friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2013-12-04T14:31:14.560" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10655" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10668" CreationDate="2013-12-04T21:42:01.557" Score="3" ViewCount="456" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other morning, the parent's of the three year old I watch most days awoke to a spooky scratching sound in their room.  They couldn't place from whence the sound came but apparently it was as though some one had dropped them right into the middle of a thriller.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they were awake enough to get past the goosebumps and bristled neck hairs, they figured it was probably their three year old so (who wakes up very early and usually goes into their room and just wakes them up - something they've been working on for awhile now), but there have been a few instances when he has wandered down stairs and turned on the TV for himself, gone out in the garage to play, or even hung out in the back or front yards.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, when he was not in his room the two parents started looking.  They looked everywhere for him - including their garage and front and back lawns and it didn't take long before they were in an absolute panic to find him - until they heard laughter from their bedroom.  He had crawled under their bed and was the culprit behind the scratching sounds as well as the panic to find the missing child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this was the mother's last straw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things they have already done:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put a bolt on all doors out of the child's reacy so he at least can't&#xA;escape the house (he can work baby gates, the bolts and other locks,&#xA;the garage door opener button . . . )&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has a digital clock that changes color to show him when he is allowed to get up vs. when he is supposed to stay in bed.  They've talked to him about how everyone needs their sleep.  Then they have given him time outs when he disobeys this rule (which have not worked at all).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Made sure he has access to water, the bathroom and books so if he is awake in the middle of the night and can't sleep he can take care of a few basics and have something quiet to do until he does fall back asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The are considering putting a lock on the outside of the bedroom door and just locking him into his room at night.  He uses a pull-up for sleeping and they would put a training potty in the room just in case.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any other alternatives to try before going to this extreme?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T23:02:31.483" Title="Three year old gets up hours before it is time - what do we do?" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|night-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10628" CreationDate="2013-12-05T00:12:35.367" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mother's birthday was near Christmas (though, admitedly not on Christmas Eve) so her family always waited until her birthday to decorate.  It made her feel like all  the decorations were really for her - we still decorate on her birthday to this day!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, we also try not to give her one present for both (unless it is &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; special) and her parents made sure she always got birthday gifts &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; Christmas gifts from themselves and her siblings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think she likes having a Dec. birthday, except for the fact that often friends are traveling and busy so Birthday Parties were always difficult.  Her parents usually did an &quot;experience&quot; for her instead - something she offered to my sister and I as alternatives to birthday parties when we were kids (Our birthdays were in the summer - another time when friends were often traveling).  Instead of a party we could choose something, cool, fun and special to do with ONE friend and our family members like attending a Ballet, going to an amusement park, taking in a game at an actual stadium (all three of which meant a pretty significant trip for us to get into the city. . . ) The &quot;experience&quot; could happen at a convient time, and really, was way better than a typical birthday party anyway - my sister and I often chose this option over birthday's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T00:12:35.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10626" CreationDate="2013-12-05T01:19:36.610" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was one of two biological children to parents who, over the years, took in at least 100 emergency placement kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are different kinds of kids one encounters and they will each have their own level of impact on the whole family:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some of the kids really only needed a bed to sleep in overnight -&#xA;these were often run-aways that had managed to get pretty far from&#xA;home, or kids of parents that had too much to drink and maybe had a&#xA;bar fight or something and had to &quot;sleep it off&quot; under the&#xA;supervision of a police officer.  While these parents weren't&#xA;necessarily great ones, they weren't having their parental rights&#xA;stripped so the presence of these kids was usually so short it had little impact.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Twice we had kids whose parents were in the hospital with terminal injuries and the kids needed a loving shelter/environment until other close family members could arrive.  These were also short stays, but the impact was more significant for me to imagine a &lt;strong&gt;real-life&lt;/strong&gt; child on the verge of becoming an orphan.  All of sudden the concept wasn't just one I read about in books.  Many people might see this as a bad thing, but while it was hard, I think in the long run it taught me some important lessons about appreciating the loved ones I have while I have them as well as how to cope with letting go and grief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Seeing the evidence of violence on kids that had been freshly pulled from violent homes really taught me empathy.  Some of these kids were short stays, but a few very memorable ones were with us for nearly a year.  Often, it was really hard to be patient with these kids.  They struggled to understand how discipline worked because they were used to being ruled by fear so there were a lot of habbits that needed breaking and especially the ones that stayed for awhile were pretty disruptive to our schedule and our lives.  As a kid, I hated that.  As an adult, I look back and realize how much more patient, tolerant, and empathetic a human being I am, and I think it is at least in part because of experiences with these kids.  Some of them, we have been able to keep in touch with over the years, and I still find myself wondering how things turned out in the end for the others.  I still miss many of them from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;All in all, I think the experience of growing up in this way had more benefits than draw-backs.  In addition to the things I've already mentioned, I learned how to cope with change and how to see both sides of an argument without feeling like it is more personal (at least most of the time) than it actually is.&lt;/strong&gt;  I do feel there are a couple of things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My parents did take in kids that were our same age and older at times.  In a couple of cases, I think they (and my sister and I) were lucky we didn't get hurt.  One boy wound up in prison for having raped a girl in whose home he was living and he did frequently want to be in my room with me (which was against house rules - our bedrooms were our spaces to go for alone time and no one was allowed in them but the parents and the resident of the room).  Older kids need homes too, but I don't want to put my daughter in the same kind of risk - filling out quesstionaires about what kinds of background the kids you are comfortable having in your home thoughtfully and honestly and then doing your best to insure the state lives up to their end of that bargain is really important here.  We had more, older boys and girls that didn't create any sort of &quot;hazard&quot; than the ones who did, but also considering putting preventative measures into play (such as my parent's rule about bedrooms) is also an important part of the equation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be ready for tears, sweat and some real mind-benders for all of you.  Some of the issues that may come up, might be hard for adults to reconcile, let alone kids.  Just make sure thinking through how to talk to your child about these things while also respecting the privacy of your foster child is a priority &lt;strong&gt;at all times&lt;/strong&gt; if you are prepared for anything, then, when the unexpected comes, you can still function.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finances to be that much more stretched.  Of course, this would be true if siblings were added the biological way too.  However, some people out there have a mistaken conception that there is money to be made in fostering - if that is why you are considering it - don't.  First of all, it will be hurtful to the kids, instead of loving (which is what they really need) and, your expectations will not be met anyway.  While many states pay a &quot;reembursement&quot; to their foster parents, this reembursement is actually quite small and won't cover the cost of new clothes, enrichment classes and extracurriculars, travel, gifts and all the things you will likely want to do for these children you will come to love.  Of course this affects your biological child because it does mean there is less &quot;extra&quot; to spend on him or her.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Karl Bielefeldt mentioned how time would be stretched similarly to your dollar in his answer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Karl Bielefeldt said, classes are available.  This is ture in the state I grew up in, the state where my sister lives and the state where I live now and unless he lives in one of those three states, there is the fourth state where KB is as well.  I certainly hope it is true anywhere.  &lt;strong&gt;Take advantage of these classes&lt;/strong&gt; I know a family that did not take the offered classes and the whole thing was an abyssmal failure for everyone that left a whole family disheartened and scarred, not to mention the repercussions for the child they had taken in (Their expectations were that she would be eternally grateful and therefore, a more perfect child than the five they already had - she wasn't.  She was a normal kid with normal kid issues at each age during the time they had her &lt;strong&gt;on top of&lt;/strong&gt; having a really hard time with some psychological issues because of the kind of abuse she had suffered at her biological father's hands.  &lt;strong&gt;Take the Classes!!!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, there were a couple of kids even Mom and Dad never really did let go of, so I actually have an older brother and another younger sister, mom and dad never expected to give us.  Special exceptions were made for the brother that allowed him to stay a little over a year before he entered the military and then he was just ours anyway and my parents reapplied for a different license for the youngest sister that was also their last kid in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T01:19:36.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10642" CreationDate="2013-12-05T01:48:40.163" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all: playing with a doll pretending to burp it mother it in any way is normal three year old behavior and is perfectly healthy.  It by no means indicates your daughter is feeling abandoned.  Hopefully knowing that can help you to relax that your child is not/has not recieved long term damage from your wife.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as the child is in a safe environment free of access to dangerous tools and the like, it is considered pretty healthy for a kid of your daughter's age to be required to have some alone time (while a guardian can still hear if there is trouble).  This is time for a child to decompress, learn how to self entertain &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; drift off to sleep if he/she is particularly tired that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At three, she finds hanging out with mommy more interesting than sleeping.  Since she is also at an age where she may suddenly be needing a little less sleep, but might still need the nap on some days while not on others, she may be contending with learning how to play by herself/soothe herself, etc so she is protesting loudly - another normal three-year-old behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going to a screaming child and letting it get its way is a good way to encourage the screaming and yelling to continue.  Your wife is probably trying to make the point to your daughter that her naptime is supposed to be alone time, and she needs to accept it.  Going and discussing the idea with your daughter, probably only makes the time of protestation last longer in the long run (at the age of three - I would speak differently of a child that is younger).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, there are some preventative measure you can take so things start off well instead of with screaming.  If you or your wife, aren't already, I suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;recognizing your daughter may be moving away from needing a nap.  Start referring to what was her nap time as quiet time and shorten it a little.  Spend a little time teaching her what this means and treating it as a huge positive step toward growing up big and healthy.  If it really is quiet time and she needs the sleep, she'll fall asleep on the days she needs it - on those days an hour and fourty five minutes is perfectly acceptable in terms of time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;most people I know go for about an hour when it comes to quiet time, a few for only a half hour. At an hour and 45 minutes, you are verging on two hours, which, for a three year old is a really long time to keep herself appropriately entertained, if she doesn't fall asleep.  The kids that are only required 30 minutes quiet time I know fall asleep less often than the kids with the longer time so, I suggest an hour.  Set aside up to two hours without other activities that might impede upon the time, so on days she does fall asleep she can be allowed to stay asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go over some ideas with your daughter for things she can do during her quiet&#xA;time that are special quiet time things she can do that she can't&#xA;often do at other times during the day.  Maybe you could get your daughter some special quiet time items - perhaps a new bed for her doll and she can put dolly down for a nap during her quiet time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make it expected and predictable.  Warn her at five minute intervals starting at about fifteen minutes before quiet time is going to begin.  Then, make sure she knows exactly how long quiet time will be by deciding whether you expect her to partake in this activity for an hour, or half hour etc.  Set up a clock in her room with a picture showing her what the clock looks like when she can come out of her quiet time space again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Selfishness can also be referred to as &quot;self care&quot; when in balance, and requiring your daughter to have some quiet time and/or a nap (which is also healthy for your daughter) seems perfectly in balance to me - people who have a job, &quot;at the office&quot; get a coffee break, the ability to use the restroom without a little one staring at them or banging on the door AND a break for lunch - your wife doesn't get any of those things.  Even the best, most devoted moms need a little time to themselves - something most three year olds are extremely reluctant to give for more than about sixty seconds (and even that is if mom is lucky) without mom forcing the issue a bit.  To help your wife get her personal needs met too, you need to consider her needs just as important as yours and the needs of your daughter's.  If your daughter is dropping her naps, your wife is probably getting even less down time than she was previously getting.  Perhaps, if you aren't already, you could step in and take over on an afternoon every other week or weekend so your wife can have some girl time with friends or some down time of her own too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-06T00:33:21.220" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T00:33:21.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10655" CreationDate="2013-12-05T11:39:46.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds like an absolute NIGHTMARE. If he's not a fan of loud noises, they could also add door alarms so that if he opens off-limits doors, the alarm goes off (doesn't have to be a full security system, and I know there are door alarm systems where you can turn the alert on and off).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I honestly don't believe a simple lock on the bedroom door for a child that age is a horrible thing.  Our son is also a wanderer (he's 32 mths old) so to keep him where he needs to be and us from losing our minds with listening for him trying to break out of the house, we reversed the simple push-button doorknob on his door so that we lock it when he goes to bed.  No effort is required to open it from our side (just pull the handle (it's a French door lever-style doorknob) and it unlocks).  We also have an IP camera in the room that's out of his reach and allows us to see most of what goes on in there (can't see through the closet door but we can see if they're open or closed).  The question in my mind comes down to &quot;is he less safe wandering the house alone  or locked in his room? Which will cause more immediate damage?  Which will cause longer-term damage?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At three he's not the most sound reasoner (my son woke up twice just last night and ripped his bed apart looking for his bear, and then flipped out when he couldn't find him and cried that &quot;Bruin was gone!&quot;  The logic of &quot;if it was there when I went to bed, and nothing left and the door is still closed, he's probably still in here&quot; is still a bit beyond him).  As he gets older his parents should have more luck explaining to him why we stay in our rooms at night when we should be sleeping, even when we are not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I see that timeouts aren't working.  If they don't follow the 'crime' pretty quickly, they don't work for us either.  What DOES work is giving his toys a time-out.  If he acts up, the toy (usually a truck; those are his favorites) goes into our closet for a time-out.  It has to be something he will miss, obviously, but we leave lovies off limits except for the really bad offenses (hitting his sister or running into the street or something huge like that gets Bruin a time-out in the closet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T11:39:46.590" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10660" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10665" CreationDate="2013-12-05T16:09:13.503" Score="5" ViewCount="414" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child I know is diagnosed with &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sensory Processing Disorder&lt;/a&gt; (SPD). I have searched around the internet and kind-of understand what it is. However, when I try to find the possible cures/therapies, I get various disagreeing information, both online and from people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wanted to know about possible approaches ( Sensory integration, coaching) and how well they work. To be specific, the concern is about running around and jumping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6201" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2013-12-05T17:03:11.550" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T23:02:43.650" Title="Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) in toddlers: What approach should be taken to treat it?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|special-needs|special-education|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10662" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10664" CreationDate="2013-12-05T17:36:30.913" Score="13" ViewCount="104415" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1500/why-does-my-infant-wake-crying-the-instant-we-put-him-in-his-bed&quot;&gt;&quot;why do children wake up and cry immediately after being put to bed&quot;&lt;/a&gt;  already on this site, which has answers partly covering my question. But only partly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I put my newborn (or, later on, infant) to bed without waking her? Can anyone recommend moves or other techniques which will give us a better chance of preserving her sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T13:54:41.043" Title="How to put a newborn/infant to sleep to bed without waking her?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10662" CreationDate="2013-12-05T18:01:49.127" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to maintain whatever posture or position she's in as you pick her up and put her down.  Pay extra special attention to the head and neck -- our most sensitive orientation and motion sensors are in our ears.  I've found that for the lighter sleeping sessions it's less likely to wake my own children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, ultimately it depends on the child.  My oldest is such a deep sleeper that I could just grab her and throw her into her bed from across the room and she wouldn't twitch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T18:01:49.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10662" CreationDate="2013-12-05T20:00:59.613" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a newborn falls asleep, he or she falls first into a light sleep. If you wait 15-30 minutes (20 minutes is a good guess usually), your newborn will transition to deep sleep. A good test to see if your newborn is in a deep sleep is the floppy arm test. Pick up an arm and see how floppy it is when you gently let go. The arm of a newborn in light sleep is stiffer. The arm of a newborn in deep sleep is floppy. I used this on my daughter into toddlerhood on the occasions when she needed helping to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once in deep sleep you can fairly easily transition even the lightest sleeping newborn. Now once that deep sleep phase ends and the newborn transitions back to light sleep, it might be game over. To handle the sleep cycle transition have you tried swaddling and incline sleep (a Fisher Price Rock 'n' Play, for example)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Around 3-4 months infants fall into deep sleep first, usually over the course of 5-10 minutes. However along with this change comes many other changes to sleep and memory which can cause the process of &quot;helping a child to fall asleep, then placing that child in a crib&quot; to backfire for many kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T20:00:59.613" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10660" CreationDate="2013-12-05T23:02:43.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, there still isn't a lot of understanding ab out the causes of SPD.  which is probably why you are getting conflicting information about it.  Having only been defined in the (70's I think), not a lot of testing has happened (studies in behavior psychology just take longer.  There are limitations to what this science can do - particularly when working with children and with a disorder that is not extremely common).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The children with whom I have worked that had this disorder were of the SMD (Sensory Modulation) type and had a hard time with responding well to different types of sensations in an appropriate way.  One of the kids was a toddler and two - the others were all Middle School Students (adolescents).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At two (the age of the toddler I worked with), kids aren't expected to jump or run well anyway, so did not have a lot to do with helping this child with these skills (so I don't know if the rest of this will apply).  However, he was working with a coach and she came into the classroom with him often.  She really appreciated every &quot;sensory&quot; experience I could offer the child because he had a hard time with over-reacting to just about any new sensation.  Finger painting, running his hands through shaving cream, using playdough, playing with leaves, feathers, fabric scraps (with a huge variety of fabric types - cotton, polyester, silk, rayon, linen, hemp, etc).  Once he started getting used to participating in these activities he also found many of them relaxing - though his first reaction was often to be violently reluctant.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If for no other reason, I'd recommend working with a sensory integration coach simply because they are experienced and knowledgable about working with these kids and whatever help they can offer is better than none.  They also offer parents and other care-workers help and support with ideas about how to help the child and help the adult carer in coping with the particulars in working with a child with SPD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-05T23:02:43.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8914" CreationDate="2013-12-06T09:00:50.500" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;We simply can't convince him to name other friends&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age it's common for them to just play with whoever is doing what they are doing at playground/kindy. I suggest you quietly check in with their teacher/carer and ask them who they think your child gets on well with. Also make friends with other parents in your childs class, generally parents that you get on well with who have nice kids will make good play dates. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make your garden into an adventure space, trampoline, sandpit, logs to step across, even an old boat all make for good adventure space. Get kids outside exploring together and they'll sort it out themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="749" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T09:00:50.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10662" CreationDate="2013-12-06T09:46:38.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not really a methodology but more of a &quot;move&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your mileage may vary on this, but I found it best to move along with the newborn. When my baby was still less than a month old, I let her sleep on my left shoulder while carrying her. Once she falls into the &quot;lull&quot; period of her early sleep, I slowly bend over and shift my left forearm under her back and parallel to her spine before straightening myself up again. Basically, my palm is almost at her bottom while her head rests on my upper arm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next is the real trick: while my daughter is resting on my forearm, I will smoothly ease into a sitting position on the bed and lie slowly with my left hand palm-down on the bed. My baby usually ends a bit raised on her left side now while a bit squished into my left rib area. I then smoothly and slowly slide my hand outward on the surface of the bed, emulating a sweeping motion, which slowly puts her into the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might seem like a weird move and a bit difficult to execute, but it's actually pretty easy and can be done in a total of 2-3 seconds. The difficult part is trying to not jerk your arms while moving that quickly. Also, it preserves her posture from her original position when she fell asleep on my shoulder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found that my baby reacted to this better than putting her slowly to bed. It's so effective that she's turning two years in a couple of months but she still reacts best to it every single time (she hates being put into bed the &quot;traditional&quot; way, as she always give a quasi-myoclonic jerk as if she was falling).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6207" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T09:46:38.053" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10655" CreationDate="2013-12-06T11:53:58.787" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh, the joys of the night-waking toddler. My daughter was a terrible sleeper and woke at all kinds of random, crazy times. Rarely did she ever sleep for more than three hours at a time and she often woke us, wandered the house or turned on the tv by herself. She never went outside though, thankfully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, if they haven't already done so, I would recommend consulting with their family doctor. There are quite a few reasons why kids don't sleep well or long enough; some of them need to be addressed medically. Our doctor concluded that our daughter's insomnia was likely biological and related to adhd (which her dad also has). We didn't want to medicate her so we had to come up with some other strategies to get her to stay asleep longer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things we tried with varying success were: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eliminating her afternoon nap (this did actually help quite a bit after the initial adjustment).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made a concerted effort to really wear her out: walking, running, swimming, bouncing on a trampoline. She had energy to burn so we burned it. This caused a noticeable improvement in her sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got her a bigger bed - she moves around a lot when asleep and was falling off the bed and waking up. Who knew? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making sure she was dressed warmly enough for bed and that her room was warm but not stuffy helped eliminate the problem of her kicking off all her blankets (see above) and then getting cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adjusting the lighting in our house to be brighter early in the day and dimmer in the evenings. We also started taking the reading lamp out of her room at bedtime and leaving her with a small night light. Seems that she would wake up, switch on the bright light and it would wake her up faster than a cup of coffee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started giving her a snack before bed. We also made sure she had access to food if she woke up hungry, string cheese &amp;amp; crackers or apple slices; something not too messy that she could get for herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Progressive relaxation exercises really helped and she still does them today at age 11; we also had some CD's that were guided visualizations for kids that would help her calm down and relax, this was most helpful during times when she was waking up from dreams or nightmares.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually we got her to sleeping for 8 hours and then she would come into our room and get into our bed and sleep for an hour or so more. Still less than ideal, but so much better and no more night wandering or waking us up at an unholy early time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T11:53:58.787" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10669" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-06T13:32:12.717" Score="0" ViewCount="217" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last night we were dining and my wife accidentally knocked over a bottle of wine. In trying to keep the bottle, the wine finished over her skin. Teresa (our 21 month old daughter) started suddenly to cry pointing at the wine on the arms of her mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is really strange because apparently she wasn't scared from the tumble and she clearly confused the wine with blood. Moreover her experience with blood is really low: she has only bled a few times and we don't watch TV, only cartoons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the fear of blood an innate knowledge?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6149" LastEditorUserId="6149" LastEditDate="2013-12-06T14:06:22.387" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T15:06:51.853" Title="Babies and blood. A innate knowledge?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10662" CreationDate="2013-12-06T13:39:07.463" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest one hand around the back of the neck/head and the other under the bum. Keep her close to your body until she's already laid in the cot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plan ahead and be sure there's nothing between you and the cot/basket that might get in your way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also make sure that the temperature of her bed is fairly warm so she doesn't miss your body heat so much. Sometimes keeping your hand on her a little while after you've put her down may help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T13:39:07.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10662" CreationDate="2013-12-06T13:49:57.807" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For us there were two key factors:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As mentioned in some other answers, keeping them in the position they were in is very handy if they have fallen asleep on you; so cardling them, supporting their head and moving your body down with them helps them fail to notice what is happening.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;An even better solution if you can plan it, is to swaddle them quite tightly before they fall asleep, with arms inside the blanket. This then means you can move them anywhere and just concentrate on keeping their head in position. This works really well for newborns - it does become less useful as they get older, but newborns really like that comforting pressure all round them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T13:49:57.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10669" CreationDate="2013-12-06T13:55:00.730" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you describe is not a fear of blood - in fact studies show any fear of blood is learned, not innate - but instead your baby will have picked up on a couple of things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wine on the skin will look like a mess, and babies understand when something is different or messy or spilt&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You and your wife will have reacted to the fall. Whatever the response, your baby will have picked up on this. Pointing at the wine as one sign of the fall is quite reasonable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of the two, I think the 2nd is most likely. As @Beofett comments:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...kids that age are incredibly keen observers of their parents. They get most of their behavioral cues from watching how we react&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2013-12-06T15:06:51.853" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T15:06:51.853" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10673" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10676" CreationDate="2013-12-06T14:22:10.623" Score="3" ViewCount="282" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started homeschooling this year, and my four year-old daughter has been comparing herself to her six year-old brother, then acting afraid to do anything when she doesn't measure up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, she will ask to write, which she doesn't know how to do yet.  Note this isn't an assignment we give her, it's always at her own request.  I say something like, &quot;Okay, let's learn to write,&quot; and give her something at her level, but a little challenging, like practicing writing an 'A'.  Sometimes she does it happily, but just as often she balks away and whimpers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure the exact reason, but I think it's because it's not the kind of writing her brother does.  Her brother did his first year at public school, so she didn't see his beginning steps of learning to write.  To her view, when we started &quot;doing school,&quot; her brother already knew how to write and she didn't.  She doesn't understand why he can do it and she can't, even though she is far ahead of where her brother was at her age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we help her understand and be happy with the level she is, and not be afraid to struggle with something she sees is now easy for her brother?  Why does she ask to do something, then not want to do it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-12-07T01:22:41.737" Title="How to help a child not be afraid to struggle with things that are easy for her older brother?" Tags="|education|homeschooling|motivation|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2013-12-06T22:45:04.410" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;try throwing the toys out onto the yard, when she asks where the toy is, tell her she has to go get it. Once she has retrieved her toy, and asks why it is outside, tell her that you put it outside because she didn't put it away, and that you will throw every toy you find that has not been put away outside. She will hopefully get tired of having to go outside to retrieve her toys and learn to put them away (I know this may seem a little harsh, but it's how my mom did taught me to put away my toys, and boy did it ever work)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6214" LastActivityDate="2013-12-06T22:45:04.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10673" CreationDate="2013-12-06T22:48:20.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a common problem for younger siblings and although, I have an only child (at the moment) I've worked quite a bit with a number of different ages etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would address this one in a combination of ways and figure on it being a process to &quot;fix.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Show her how her brother has had to practice to learn things&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you still have any samples of her older brother's work from about&#xA;the same age - or at least when he got started?  Maybe you have a&#xA;Father's Day card, HOliday card, or something along those&#xA;lines that he made for you tucked away somewhere?  If you do, pull it out and show it to her.  Also show her any such samples you have from your own childhood.  She must also have some friends about her same age - how is their writing?  Can she think about the writing she has seen her friends do and realize none of her friends having writing that looks as wonderful as her older brother's who has had more time (2 years) to practice?  Then, does big brother still have some improving to do?  Show her (without being crazy critical) that he is still working on it too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Will older brother be a mentor and talk to her about his process?  He must remember some of what it took to learn to write.  Maybe he can even be the one to show her (with a little prior coaching from you to remind him to take it slow etc. etc.) the proper movements for each letter.  Have him share a story with her about the letter that was hardest for him to learn. . . ?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Point out something her older brother is learning now and how he is going about learning it (pick something where she can actually watch his practicing) Why does he keep trying and working at it?  Help her understand the process by seeing her brother engaged in it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Show her times in the past when she has had to practice something but successfully mastered the thing over time.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remind her she wasn't even born already knowing how to eat food.  Walk her down the baby aisle and talk about the process a baby goes through - start with milk, then soft foods in small chunks (many babies even have mashed and pureed everything first. . .) etc.  Point out she had to learn to use the potty . . . Point out something more recent that she needed to practice before she had it mastered and talk about it - ask her lots of questions about what that was like.  How did it feel when it was hard?  How does it feel now that she's got the skill down? . . .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Show her favorite famous role-models and how they became good at their &quot;thing&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You are a role-model so get out old photos or videos of you learning new skills - the classic first time riding a bike without training wheels is a great one if you remember how it felt well.  Talk about your own failures (that eventually led to success because you kept at it).  Do the same with mom.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pick a family favorite celebrity (I like edison and the light bulb, my husband likes Babe Ruth) and talk about a story that required lots of practice before success was achieved.  For every hole-in one, birdie and eagle Tiger Woods ever got, he has an equal number or higher slices in his entire golfing history I'm sure (especially if you go way back to beginning when he was four).  Find out for your family favorite and talk about that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let her be the judge&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When she is practicing writing a new letter, don't compliment or critique the letters themselves.  Comment on her efforts.  &quot;Wow, I noticed you really took your time with that letter A.  Were you trying really hard?&quot;  Your Daughter: &quot;yes.&quot;  You: &quot;Oh, That is fabulous honey.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask her to pick out her two favorite examples of each letter and put a sticker on them (or write a star or smiley face or whatever above them).  Ask her why she picked the two letters she chose as her best.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask her if she thinks there is something specific she can do to improve her writing of the letter she is working on.  Usually, kids are right on this count, they do have sample letters to compare theirs to.  If you think her circles (like in o, a, g, etc. are even and round enough and she says they could be rounder or something), respond honestly but don't discount her statement - something like, &quot;Hmm.  You think they could be rounder and more even?  Wow, I think it looks pretty good.  You must be working really hard to make your letters the best they can b.&quot;  If you agree with her assessment, let her know you agree, but find something that did go well with the letter to comment on, &quot;Yes, it could be a little rounder there, but look how the bottom touches the bottom line&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you are probably already doing this, but &lt;strong&gt;ALWAYS!!  ALWAYS, ALWAYS focus on the journey and her efforts more than the actual result at this stage of the game&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-07T01:22:41.737" LastActivityDate="2013-12-07T01:22:41.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9326" CreationDate="2013-12-07T13:29:03.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have a child with low &quot;social&quot; intelligence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People with low social intelligence have trouble figuring out and valuing social rules.  Like your son, they can be academically very smart (have a high verbal/mathematical intelligence), but that doesn't help them understand why other people put value on behaving in certain -- sometimes arbitrary-seeming -- ways.  (E.g., in most U.S. cultures, when you meet someone you're supposed to say, &quot;Hi, how are you?&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They don't grasp instinctively what most people do, that social communication is not just about information but also about emotion.  (E.g., when people in the U.S. say, &quot;Hi, how are you?&quot; they are not looking for detailed health information, but to &quot;connect&quot; with the other person, to indicate positive feelings towards him.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes -- but not always -- people with low social intelligence have trouble reading people's faces, or understanding their emotional cues.  This is common in children diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, BTW, but (I think) one doesn't have to have Asperger's to have low social intelligence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Social rules are what allow people to live/work together without friction.  Without knowing the social rules of the society you're in (Japan has different social rules from the U.S.; upper class British society differs from working class, etc.) you would inadvertently give all sorts of false signals.  Worse, if you don't understand that people are reacting to you -- often negatively! -- based on signals you don't realize you have sent, the world becomes a (scary) unpredictable place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Children with low social intelligence require instruction&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.  Without it, they will give offense without meaning to, and will have life-long difficulty getting along with others/making friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step is to &lt;em&gt;listen to what your son is telling you&lt;/em&gt;.  Ask questions.  If the answers indicate he doesn't seem to understand a situation he was in, explain it to him.  If he doesn't know how to deal with something, help him figure it out.  Tell him the rules.  (This may be hard for you because you may not ever have had to think consciously about them before.)  Tell him if learns the rules he can get other people to stop bothering him without hitting them and getting in trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son says another child stinks, it's possible he means that literally, not judgmentally, and is commenting on the phenomenon.  Ask him what he means: do they smell like laundry detergent?  Like onions?  Explain that people sometimes do smell differently, and come up with some reasons why.  Ask him if he can think of any.  Then say while it's &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; okay to ask you or his dad for information, in our society it is not polite to comment &lt;em&gt;to other people&lt;/em&gt; on other people's smells.  If he wants to know why he has to be polite, explain to him that politeness is how we get along with each other without making other people mad, so people are happy to be with each other.  (If he persists, explain to him about social rules.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he says children are bothering him, find out how.  Six-and seven-year olds, even well-meaning, well-behaved ones, do bother each other.  They don't yet have the empathy to understand how the other child feels in all but obvious situations (they pretty much know not to hit, or take toys away, but maybe not to refrain from saying, &quot;Ha, ha, I won!&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some things (maybe another child likes to touch your son's cool bear hat), you may be able offer a suggestion of how to fix the problem, or better, ask him if he can think of a way of fixing it.  However, it's also possible that things another child has no control over are bothering your son.  Maybe someone stands too close, or laughs too much, or has an unpleasant sounding voice.  Tell him that you sympathize, but that children cannot help the way they laugh, or talk, or smell, or look; we are polite and kind to everybody, unless they are deliberately doing mean things to us.  Tell him that not everybody is bothered by the same things.  It's possible there are things about him that might bother another child, but he would still want that kid to be polite and kind to him, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to him about being a good friend.  Together, come up with a list of things good friends do.  Ask which kids in his class might be good friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, also tell him that &lt;em&gt;we don't have to like everybody, but we are polite and kind to everybody&lt;/em&gt;.  I told my daughter that there were a couple of her friends' parents that I didn't like, and who didn't like me, but that she would never be able to guess who they were because we are polite and kind to each other.  I think this almost blew her mind, BTW, she kept asking who they were, but it really got the concept across.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; asking for help/information (the inappropriate things he says) and you are responding with dismay and disapproval, it would be natural for him to talk back and otherwise act out.  Try to listen to him more.  If he does things you don't understand, ask him his reasons.  (Yes, all children need to be listened to, but whenever your child has a different temperament than you, it is even more important.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistency between your husband and your self would be ideal, and I agree with Valkyrie that it is &lt;em&gt;necessary&lt;/em&gt; for discipline purposes.  See both her and balanced mama on what to do when he does misbehave.  However, if he is acting out because he is a bright child not getting the answers he needs, he will be helped enormously by even one parent paying attention and explaining things.  I find it dismaying that he seems to be confiding in his teacher (&quot;a few kids in my class stink&quot;) when he should be confiding in you.  I think, however, that if you start trying to understand what's happening with him, if you become his ally in figuring out how to behave and why others behave as they do, he will start confiding in you again.  In fact, he will probably return to the common pattern of behaving well at school and acting out at home; but I think his misbehavior at home should decrease substantially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-12-07T13:29:03.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7427" CreationDate="2013-12-07T21:27:20.500" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was raised in a solely Spanish speaking home in the U.S. and have friends that come from English and Spanish speaking homes watching their sibling that only responded in English to their parents Spanish commands really hindered their ability and comfort speaking the language as they got older. I highly suggest insisting your child respond to you in Danish so that she becomes fully proficient and comfortable speaking the language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6224" LastActivityDate="2013-12-07T21:27:20.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10680" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-07T21:28:11.373" Score="6" ViewCount="212" Body="&lt;p&gt;MY 4 yrs,11mths old boy sleeps too much but mostly at school. He has just changed schools, but there was no report of similar behaviour from his previous school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is getting worrisome as this is beginning to affect his school works. He is a very active and intelligent boy, but he sleeps so deeply that it takes effort to wake him up when he sleeps in school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His bed time is between 7 and 8 pm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6223" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-12-19T20:34:09.150" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T21:38:38.090" Title="My son sleeps too much" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10682" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-08T00:43:05.353" Score="10" ViewCount="637" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year old opperates well amongst groups of all ages as she has had a lot of exposure to a variety of age groups.  However, all this exposure sometimes means she is a little too bold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, she spends a good amount of time amongst teens and twenty-somethings because of her involvement in theater.  However, when she pipes up, &quot;Jon, Sarah would be a &lt;strong&gt;great&lt;/strong&gt; girlfriend for you - you should ask her out.&quot; it is a little over-the top (Nevermind if John was already dating Jack).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, she has also inserted herself into an adult conversation in which she said, &quot;Really Bert, reading is so much fun.  I just don't know how you live without it&quot; when Bert was talking about why he never learned, &quot;I'd be happy to teach you.&quot;  So sweet in terms of intentions but really not what Bert wants to hear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of the people she interacts with are pretty cool and &quot;get it&quot; for the most part, but her social circles are expanding and what was cute at 4, and 5 is less so at 7.  When I over-hear these things, I have a convo with her about why it may not have been received the way she meant it to be by the other party when we are away from the &quot;crowd&quot; so to speak, but how do I move her into that next level where she can start discerning some of these subtleties for herself a little better?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-09T16:11:49.643" Title="How to help a precocsious child understand her opinion was not requested" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10683" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11280" CreationDate="2013-12-08T04:58:26.253" Score="1" ViewCount="765" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 22 months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's dream is to enroll our only son to one of the finest schools in Bangalore like Bishop Cotton, Frank  Anthony, St. Joseph, Baldwin Boys et. al. My understanding is, all these schools start taking admission from LKG/Nursery, which means I have to wait until he is 4+.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, most schools in Bangalore apart from the Salesian schools in Bangalore start from pre-school which means I have to admit my Kid from 2.5+.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means if I am able to secure an admission to one of the schools like NPS (National Public School), Presidency and similar schools where you have to pay a hefty donation among other fees which actually admit kids from 2.5+, it would be fruitless if I plan to shift my kid the next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if I wait until my son is 4+, it would be a risky proposition in case I am not able to secure admission to one of the a good catholic mission schools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the right approach I should take in this situation if I plan to admit my son to a christian missionary school? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1954" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-01-29T12:51:04.207" LastActivityDate="2018-03-11T11:47:05.680" Title="I plan to send my child to mission school at 4+, should I send them somewhere else before then?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2018-03-15T09:25:32.213" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10682" CreationDate="2013-12-08T06:44:19.370" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would tell her that just because we’re interested in someone and mean them well, we don’t have a right to invade their privacy, or involve ourselves in their sensitive affairs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The three exceptions I can think of would be &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if the other person is a close friend.  (Your daughter can’t be &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;close to Jon or she would know about Jack.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if doing so would prevent a serious or immediate harm, one the other person cannot know about.  (E.g., she could warn an acquaintance if she saw her about to get into a car driven by her new boyfriend who unbeknownst to her had just downed three shots of whiskey, but not if she&#xA;sees the same acquaintance smoking a cigarette.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if they’ve already invited us in by offering confidences or asking our advice.  (If Bert had said something to her -- or confided to a group of which she was a part -- about how he wished&#xA;he had learned to read, I think her offer – though perhaps not the&#xA;remark that preceded it – would have been perfectly&#xA;acceptable.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also need to let her know which sorts of topics are likely to be private or sensitive.  (You’ve probably been so straightforward with her in discussing these topics that she doesn’t understand stigma, or embarrassment, or other...  ramifications.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she does find herself in one of the above situations where it would be okay to make a suggestion -– and I bet there will be times when she does have a good idea that might be appreciated by the object of  her concern -- tell her that her tone should be one of diffidence, not confidence, or at least take the form of a question (&quot;Do you think that...&quot;).  Or that she should run her idea by you first.  Tell her that it is generally true that when people’s problems are easy to solve, they solve them.  What’s left are the difficult problems.  So something that seems like it has a straightforward solution probably has layers and difficulties she cannot know about.  …And therefore she should first ask you before she suggests that Joe, who just got kicked out of his apartment, could move in with his ex-girlfriend Clara and her husband, since they have a spare room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2013-12-09T16:11:49.643" LastActivityDate="2013-12-09T16:11:49.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10685" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10687" CreationDate="2013-12-08T10:34:42.690" Score="1" ViewCount="862" Body="&lt;p&gt;During pregnancy, what would be the great foods that I could make for my wife? *(does not matter if it is morning, afternoon or dinner)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to choose and prepare the food. This is not my specialization and I would like to have some diversity in foods i make. She is undoubtedly a smarter person in the kitchen, but she can not answer a simple question : &quot;What do you want to eat?&quot;, instead I have to ask : &quot;Do you want to eat X&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in Europe, but my wife has Russian/Asian roots and and tends to eat somewhat spicier foods. I have found, that atm she likes soups and oven cooked foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have guidelines like :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not use any citrus *(orange, mandarin, lemon) - she is hyper allergic&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not use any nuts - she is hyper allergic to some &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not use fatty, fried, and greasy foods - she avoids them &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not use any unpasteurized milk products - they may cause Listeria infection&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not use fish - &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ex 1: she likes tuna, but where i live it contain high level of mercury&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ex 2: she eats white fish, but not at the moment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not under cook foods *(or over cook)&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ex 1: baby can get salmonella from under cooked eggs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6226" LastEditorUserId="6226" LastEditDate="2013-12-08T12:13:16.687" LastActivityDate="2013-12-08T12:13:16.687" Title="What should my wife eat and drink during pregnancy?" Tags="|health|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2013-12-11T14:06:14.887" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10685" CreationDate="2013-12-08T11:51:39.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;What shouldn't she eat?&quot; is actually a much easier question, as the vast majority of foods are just fine during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The guidelines you have (no unpasteurized products, cook everything thoroughly) are the standard ones, but aside from that, let yourself be guided by her tastes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Senses such as taste can dramatically change during pregnancy, becoming hypersensitive or losing sensitivity altogether. The tales of pregnant women eating odd items are pretty common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife, for example, went right off spicy or smelly foods in the 2nd trimester, preferring to eat relatively bland, simple foods; but I have a friend who developed a craving for hot spicy foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-12-08T11:51:39.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10685" CreationDate="2013-12-08T11:52:37.107" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously your wife's health is paramount and giving her things that &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; is allergic to is a bad idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Equally, I'm sure the advice to avoid (or severely limit) alcohol intake and not to smoke during pregnancy should be well publicised enough to be taken as read, but just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The NHS (UK National Health Service) publishes a lot of advice online now and offers a balanced article which answers the question directly.  It is regularly reviewed and also acts as an excellent starting point to explore further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/foods-to-avoid-pregnant.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NHS: Foods that can harm you or your baby&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Some types of cheese&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Pâté&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Raw or partially cooked eggs&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Raw or undercooked meat&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Cold cured meats&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Liver&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Supplements containing vitamin A&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Some types of fish&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Raw shellfish&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Sushi&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Peanuts&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Unpasteurised milk&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Foods with soil on them&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  * Caffeine&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is not a list of foods to avoid, merely subjects covered in the article and you should read it in full to understand what the actual advice is.  Many of them are not a blanket 'avoid this' but explains when/why that food may or may not be safe.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nuts is a good example - they are listed because advice to avoid them entirely during pregnancy was widely and actively publicised a few years ago, but research did not support that advice and the article has been amended to reflect that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from specific risks outlined changes to your diet should be minor.  Making major changes to the fat content of your dishes (for example) is particularly unwarranted unless advised by a health professional taking into account your current circumstances, it may even be advised to increase the fat content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally: I can say the official advice you may get can be changeable and sometimes is based on flimsy evidence or is overblowing a risk which is so exceptionally slight that taking action to avoid it may bring about unforeseen risks.  Overall the best advice is eat a HEALTHY BALANCED DIET, if you need a really simple rule of thumb then make sure you always eat five colours of fruit/veg every day, particularly foods which are rich in Iron.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2013-12-08T11:52:37.107" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10688" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-08T20:57:14.740" Score="7" ViewCount="3753" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is 2.5 years old. He understands two step instructions and expresses himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he does not answers questions. For example: if I ask &lt;em&gt;where is your mom?&lt;/em&gt; he will not answer that &lt;em&gt;she is in the kitchen&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When do kids start answering questions like these?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6227" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2013-12-09T11:56:11.947" LastActivityDate="2013-12-09T11:56:11.947" Title="when do children start answering questions ?" Tags="|language-development|language|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10688" CreationDate="2013-12-08T23:30:30.040" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on the information &lt;a href=&quot;http://teachmetotalk.com/2008/02/26/techniques-to-work-on-answering-questions-with-language-delayed-toddlers/&quot;&gt;from this site&lt;/a&gt; children are usually able to answer simple questions (like the example you have given) by the time they reach 3. At 2.5 years most children are able to answer most yes/no questions. You can also find hints how to improve your child's answering skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that each child is different. One may start doing something earlier than other, but start doing something else later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there is no reason to worry yet. But if you are in doubt or already worried, do not hesitate to consult your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-12-08T23:30:30.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10680" CreationDate="2013-12-09T07:03:15.877" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;How well does he sleep? My boy had sleep apnea so, even though he got a lot of sleep, he was always tired and would often lie down on the floor. His was caused by excessively large tonsils and adenoids which would restrict his breathing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An oximetry test was performed to check his oxygen levels throughout the night - his would fall below 80% - not a good sign. This was free where we live (Australia). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our GP did not pick up on his breathing issues because we only take him to the GP when he's sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be worth getting your son checked out and specifically asking about breathing issues and sleep apnea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-12-09T07:03:15.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2013-12-09T12:53:37.180" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have always allowed swearing, openly and uncensored, in our household, with the exception of racial slurs or sexual choice words (&quot;gay&quot;). Those are taboo. We also don't allow swear words to be used to hurt or demean others (I.e. In an argumentative context). Beyond that, used as expletives or emphasis, we have always allowed our kids to use them freely, as do we.  We temper this with a healthy dose of education about when certain swear words are permitted and when they aren't (&quot;always at our house, never at the grandparents' house&quot;).  It has always worked like a charm and our kids are happy and well-adjusted kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6232" LastActivityDate="2013-12-09T12:53:37.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10694" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-09T14:50:49.100" Score="6" ViewCount="643" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 4 in a month, and he is very aggressive toward his brothers. He hits, kicks, bites them and takes their toys. He screams at my 1-year-old constantly when he touches anything or sometimes for no reason. He screams at my 7-year-old until he gives up a toy he didn't want until someone else was playing with it. He often even screams and points his finger at me with a mean look on his face. When he's not screaming at us he constantly whines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried so many things to stop this angry behavior including taking him to a psychologist and therapy but nothing has worked. I tried to get a behavioral therapist but for a year now I've been getting turned down for any services. He runs our house and causes fights with everyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I stop his mean, aggressive and whiny behavior so we can have a happy home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6233" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-13T12:35:35.837" LastActivityDate="2019-06-13T12:35:35.837" Title="How do I deal with my out of control 3-year-old?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|siblings|tantrums|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10694" CreationDate="2013-12-09T15:51:59.843" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mention therapy - what did the therapist say?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know of a similar case with a 4yo, and it was all based on jealousy toward the new baby. No longer was he the little one who got priority attention. He now had to compete on unequal terms and felt powerless against this inequality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The recommended solution was to give lots of &lt;strong&gt;positive&lt;/strong&gt; attention to the 4yo. The natural reaction on the screaming and kicking is to scream back, to meet force with force -- but meeting it with empathy and love was a lot more effective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In practical terms, this meant that whenever there was a situation, &lt;strong&gt;bear hugs and kisses&lt;/strong&gt; were administered. Didn't always work, but it helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-12-09T15:51:59.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2013-12-09T18:29:31.917" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;When&lt;/em&gt; is not actually a good question, because it is ambiguous. It could refer to either the child's age or a situation in which the swearing would be allowed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To address both parts of the question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Age&lt;/strong&gt;: I believe a child below 10 years should be prohibited to swear at all. All swear words shoud be punished, however you see fit - but the child should have no doubts to what he is punished for. Later, gradually, I would lower the &quot;threshold&quot; for punishing: a cut finger, destroyed favourite toy, a loss in an important online match should be allowed a single &quot;f***&quot;. The choice of allowed situations should suit parents. If you do not swear at all - then do not allow it at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Situations&lt;/strong&gt;: I personally hate people who put swear words into every sentence. It is very common here in Poland, to use &quot;fu**&quot; practically as a comma. I can not stand that and I would focus my efforts to get rid of such behavior if my child developed such habit. However, I would be pretty comfortable with my 16 year old used a swear word if he broke a mug or hurt himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Gender&lt;/strong&gt;: it may not be politically correct, but I think that women should swear less than men, preferably not swear at all. Whenever I hear a girl/woman swear, especially when it is unnecessary, it really grinds my gears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some more thoughts: I would never encourage swearing. If your kid does not catch the bad habit at school, don't ever introduce it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To sum up&lt;/strong&gt; - as always, try to use common sense. Choose your reaction based on all factors you deem important: age, sex, situation, present people, wherabouts, and so on. Try to be consistent with your punishments and their situations. Make sure you are comfortable with the type and amount of swearing your kid does. React if that threshold is exceeded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-12-09T18:29:31.917" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10698" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-10T12:10:02.513" Score="7" ViewCount="959" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a fireplace and we're trying to get her to stay away from it but she's infatuated with closing the glass doors which is dangerous for not only her but the rest of us since they have to remain open. We first had a gate around it which worked but we felt as if instead of teaching her about the dangers we were hiding her from them which might work here but not at the other houses she goes to so we'd rather teach her to stay away from fire. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, like most toddlers she thinks us yelling and picking her up when she goes near it is a game so she continues to do it so much so she'll slowly walk over to it, peak over her shoulder to see if you're watching and continue. We think she knows what she's doing but we don't know if she understands timeout. Is there a better way to approach this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6239" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T12:30:08.500" Title="How to keep our 15 month away from the fireplace when she thinks it's a game?" Tags="|time-out|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10698" CreationDate="2013-12-10T12:47:54.830" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 15 months she's probably too young to really grasp &quot;fire hurts&quot; without directly interacting with the fire, and you REALLY don't want that, so you'll need to attenuate the dangers and teach as if the gate weren't there. Put the gate back up and sternly tell her 'NO' when she gets near it.  Use the short attention span of the toddler to your advantage; try combining 'NO' with a distraction such as playing with a different toy. Make sure that the 'NO' part is plain and boring, and the distraction is fun and intriguing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are at a home where there's a fireplace and no baby gate, station yourself or another adult near the fireplace where she can be easily intercepted and redirected.  Make the interception as boring as possible: no picking up and swinging, no 'happy' redirection like tickles or giggles, just a boring 'NO' and a turn-around to point her in the direction you want her to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like she's getting the reaction she wants: attention.  Since she's 15 months old, and timeouts might not really work yet (at least, they didn't kick in for either of my two until they were closer to 30 months), you'll probably need to go back to prevention until she can really grok what you're telling her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdata: my son (now 32 months) was fascinated by the oven and stove and always wanted to touch it.  We handled it by saying &quot;HOT! NO!&quot; when he'd get near it, and mimicking pain (wincing, shaking the 'burnt' hand, etc).  He quickly grasped that we didn't want him to get near the stove or oven when it was working, and would back up and say 'hot! hot!'.  This was around 20 or so months, IIRC.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-12-10T12:47:54.830" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10700" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27510" CreationDate="2013-12-11T02:28:38.287" Score="15" ViewCount="12006" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read that the AAP says that TV is bad for children under 2, but is video chatting (e.g., Skype or Google Hangouts)?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife &amp;amp; I both have family that is out of state.  The grandparents love being able to see our son, and we thought it would be a good way to get to know their voices &amp;amp; faces.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4375" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-09-05T02:05:21.580" LastActivityDate="2020-09-05T14:08:19.030" Title="Is Video Chatting Bad for Newborns?" Tags="|infant|screen-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10700" CreationDate="2013-12-11T11:50:10.973" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;The arguments against television are based on providing too much stimulus to a young mind, so putting a toddler in front of a blinking, flashing, huge screen for an hour is not recommended. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A ten-minute Skype call on a laptop screen is different because the image doesn't change very much. I think that this is similar to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/2714/109&quot;&gt;watching a person work at a computer&lt;/a&gt;. So &lt;strong&gt;I think video chatting is just fine,&lt;/strong&gt; within limits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also do Skype video calls with the grandparents that live in other countries. The kids (age 1-4) are generally disinterested most of the time, or they participate for a few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-12-11T11:50:10.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10702" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10703" CreationDate="2013-12-11T16:25:32.300" Score="17" ViewCount="4536" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old son has an issue with following rules a little too closely. He gets upset if rules and/or routine are broken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, last night he was upset because a classmate was singing during &quot;the Quiet Game&quot; when they were supposed to see who could be the quietest. He reminded her that it was a quiet time and she responded that she was practicing the song for the concert. He again stated that it was quiet time and she should be quiet so their class could win the game. She insisted she should be practicing the song. He &quot;shushed&quot; her with his fingers against his lips. She hit him in the back, upsetting him BUT he wouldn't say anything to his teacher because it was quiet time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He didn't want his teacher told of the incident because he didn't want to be singled out or embarrassed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been other instances where he gets upset (can't ask to go to the bathroom because it's not between classes, doesn't feel comfortable speaking up, afraid of doing anything that isn't spelled out as a predefined rule so he has trouble adjusting to new situations) and his Mom and I are trying to get him to be more bold and confident, to think for himself and be sensible about rules as guidelines in some situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there methods or approaches to aid in achieving this? We fear he'll grow up to be afraid to take chances and fail, or be taken advantage of by other people who know he won't stand up for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4750" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T12:09:13.147" Title="How to Teach That Following Rules is Not Always Good?" Tags="|behavior|fears|rules|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10702" CreationDate="2013-12-11T20:23:08.170" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This might sound like a total cliche, but have you tried to get him to participate in extracurricular activities?  Our daughter, a bit younger than your son, has really started to show more confidence in herself since she started tae kwon do.  It sounds like he could use the balance a different atmosphere and environment, not to mention a different set of peers, could bring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, are you modeling failure for him?  Speaking as a perfectionist (reformed) that's the parent of a perfectionist, that fear of failure that leads to a failure to try can be crippling if left alone. I've had a lot of luck with failing so that my kids can see.  I completely blew the routine for car pickup on my daughter's first day of kindergarten, and she saw the WHOLE THING. She also saw me laugh at myself, and blow it off as something learned.  Just this week I dumped too much pepper into a crockpot and spoiled the soup I was cooking; the kids got to see me deal with the consequences and laugh as I did so.  I can screw up plenty of times without even trying, but I do try to make sure that when I do screw up (either intentionally or as an object lesson) I make sure the kids see how I handle it, and how I get up, dust myself off and keep on trying.  And it IS making a difference.  She's much more willing to try new things (i.e., tae kwon do) and fail and then keep on trying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-12-11T20:23:08.170" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10702" CreationDate="2013-12-11T22:14:14.020" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has fewer qualms about breaking the rules, but a similar misunderstanding of when it's okay or not to make an exception to a rule.  There are rules about when it's okay to make an exception to a rule, and some kids just plain have a hard time learning those compared to other children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son gets upset because he sees someone else getting away with something that he previously didn't get away with, and he doesn't understand the subtle differences in the situation, or doesn't have all the information.  Part of that is because he doesn't pay very good attention to what's going on around him.  I don't know if that's the case with your son or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking your singing example as an illustration, it's possible your son was not privy to a conversation where the teacher explicitly gave his classmate permission to practice her singing.  Perhaps he has gotten in trouble for making noise during quiet time, and is trying to enforce fairness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that situation, my son has a very difficult time guessing what exceptions are okay to make.  He would typically see the girl singing, see the teacher not telling her off for it, decide it's okay to sing his own different song, then get very confused when the teacher tells him off.  Adults often don't explain the reason for the exception, but my son needs to be explicitly told in order to learn it, unlike a lot of children who are better at inferring it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the bathroom thing, perhaps your son noticed someone not being allowed to go to the bathroom, but didn't notice it was because the child made excessive requests in an attempt to avoid work.  Perhaps that person was himself.  When you get in trouble often enough for breaking a rule you don't really understand, you tend to want to stick to a strict interpretation of the rule.  Likewise, when adults have a hard time explaining subtleties of exceptions to rules, or they see a child make more attempts than normal to define the boundaries of a rule through experimentation, they tend to enforce strict interpretations of a simpler rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The result of my son's difficulty inferring exceptions to rules is that it becomes our habit to give him more clear, but more strict boundaries, even in situations when we give his siblings more leeway.  It's a difficult tendency to notice in the moment, and perhaps you or your son's teacher do it as well.  What we &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; to do when we notice ourselves is to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain the reason for the exceptions we've made for others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain other possible exceptions he might qualify for that he might not have thought of.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of, &quot;You can only use the bathroom between classes,&quot; the rule is really, &quot;It's always okay to use the bathroom between classes, but if you need to go badly, you can ask me.  However, if I think you're just trying to get out of working, you will have to wait.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adults don't always do a good job of explaining things like that, so you can teach your son to think of the exceptions for himself, and ask an adult for clarification.  Ask him questions like, &quot;When do you think it would be okay to use the bathroom during class time?&quot;  &quot;When does the teacher let other kids use the bathroom during class time and when does she not?&quot;  &quot;Why do you think she says no sometimes?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you practice that often enough, he will start to be able to make the connections better for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2013-12-11T22:14:14.020" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10702" CreationDate="2013-12-11T23:54:06.593" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of stumbling blocks you &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; be encountering, but first, I'd just like to say, many children have to be taught how to either reign in their over-developed sense of everyone bowing to their needs and whims, or they need to be taught how to speak up for themselves.  When these two extremes are balanced, it can be referred to as self-advocacy.  Eight is a great year for learning about self-advocacy and your child will need continued support in learning how to self-advocate appropriately right through to adulthood so consider any answer, only the beginning to a journey and a process.  I hope you will find at least part of this answer helpful in some way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Developmental Concern About Fairness&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At your son's age, an expectation of &quot;fairness&quot; is fairly standard and something that is &lt;strong&gt;highly&lt;/strong&gt; important to many kids.  My guess is he is under the impression that fair means &quot;equal&quot; and &quot;same&quot; (as many kids are) and needs to learn this is not really the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My attitude with my daughter has always been that life isn't fair.  We are all dealt different cards and have different talents and foibles - this means each of us also needs slightly different things.  I then draw from real-life examples to show her this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One example I have used with her is I was blessed with a better sense of keeping track of the &quot;to-do&quot; list and managing priorities than my husband was.  This means he keeps a running list in his phone (He is also a realtor) - I don't have to because I can usually remember better, so he gets the latest and greatest when it comes to phones - I don't because I don't need it.  That means more of our budget goes toward his phone than towards mine and she knows that.  She also sees me being completely okay with that.  When I need it, I grab a piece of paper or my planner to write my lists.  I only need my phone to text, make calls, and occasionally snap a picture (I prefer my camera for that last one).  At the same time, I am the family record-keeper, so I have the computer with more memory, a better photo program, and the better camera.  She knows that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A more solid &quot;in&quot; conversation example for a child might be, You like to practice Tae Kwon Do, but you don't like dance classes.  Would it be fair if everyone had to take Tae Kwon Do?  Would it be fair if everybody had to take Dance?  Do you need the same things for both kinds of classes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will take many examples before the lesson really sinks in, but he &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; most likely get it eventually.  Some of the other answers here offer you more, great examples of this even in the possible explanations for the examples you gave in your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Another developmental step that may be a block for your child&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention not just rules, but also breaks in routine, some children have trouble with transitioning from one activity to another smoothly if it feels unexpected or out of control to them.  We commonly see this in toddlers, but the challenge can linger longer in older children as well.  My little sister had such a hard time with routine breaks that even into her teens she'd get a little constipated during travel, particularly busy months (like Dec. with its holidays, tests and everything), or just if things were out of kilter for her.  Even now, change is definitely not seen as a friend by her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kid may be one of these that just struggles with transition and change and needs a little extra support on this front.  When a routine change is predictable and forseeable - talk with him about it in advance.  Mention what will change, why it will change, and what the duration of the change will be.  Remind him of the change as it approaches and then reassure him there will be a return to the routine in X number of days, minutes, etc.  Give him an opportunity to practice self advocacy by asking him if there is one part of the routine he thinks &lt;strong&gt;could&lt;/strong&gt; be retained for the duration of the break in routine that would help him, what would that be?  Then do your best to give him that one thing if you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the momentary breaks in routine - especially those that were unpredictable, there isn't a lot you can do except explain what happened to change things, reassure him when you will be back on track and expect everyone to move on (with a little empathy however that might look for your circumstance - a hug and &quot;sorry&quot;, a pat on the shoulder with a look that says, &quot;I know this is hard&quot; - whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teaching Self-Advocacy&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A great way to go about this is to start with teaching your child about win-wins or compromise.  The whole point of many rules (once you get past the ones designed simply for safety) is to help find a middle ground that provides the greatest good for the greatest number of people.  That means if a rule isn't meeting the needs of some individual or minority group, that person or persons has a right to speak up with an alternative that still meets the needs of the other but also accounts for the minority needs - this is how negotiations can begin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How this translates in the life of a child is again, to use examples and be for the parent to be willing to work with the child to find win-wins.  You can use the quiet game instance as a wonderful example about this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He reminded her that it was a quiet time and she responded that she&#xA;  was practicing the song for the concert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him how he reminded her - there are ways to remind someone that are bossy and there are ways that are self-advocacy.  &quot;so and so, we're playing the quiet game now and I'd really like to be on the winning team, can you practice singing later?&quot; would be a perfectly appropriate way to approach the singer in this situation that is exhibiting self-advocacy.  If she were to respond with &quot;I'm practicing for the concert and got permission.&quot; then he is made aware her singing won't count against him and all is well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You then have to teach a child to go get help from an adult when they encounter a child that is simply unreasonable and won't budge (as it sounds the singing girl in the example may have been doing), but it is a place to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also want to make it clear to him that many of your rules are about safety but sometimes there is flexibility too.  &lt;strong&gt;Invite&lt;/strong&gt; him to self-advocate with you about things like bedtime, order of things in his bedtime or morning routines, which extra-curriculars he is doing . . .  This will likely be a novel idea, so you might want to invite him to speak with you about a rule you already know he might enjoy a slight shift in to get things started.  For example, I have made it clear to my daughter that her extra curriculars must include something physical (a sport or dance, something that moves her body and teaches her how to stay fit) &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; something musical.  She can advocate for how to meet those requirements rather than me just insisting on a specific activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good frame to teach kids to help them self-advocate constructively when approaching you or others is,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I understand you want. . . but I would also like. . . can we try.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Great Resource for Teaching Self-advocacy and good habbits to kids&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My favorite resource for teaching self-advocacy to my own daughter and a few of my students has been &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0743574672&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The 7 Habits of Happy Kids&lt;/a&gt;&quot; and &quot;The 7 Habits of Effective Teens&quot; both by Sean Covey.  The three rules of self advocacy in the books are, &quot;seek first to understand, then to be understood,&quot;  &quot;Think Win win&quot; and &quot;Play well with others.&quot;  Each book talks about these rules (and four other helpful &quot;rules for life&quot;) in an age-appropriate way and we've read the one for kids over and over again at our house.  The 7 Habits of highly effective families is by the late Stephen Covey (Sean's father) and can shed some light on the ideas behind the seven habits or rules in an adult-centered way if you'd like to read it as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In extreme cases or if the problem continues into adolescence&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me preface this by saying, I worked in a school for highly gifted children with emotional, behavioral and learning disorders for a number of years.  I cannot quote online studies at the moment, but have some background training that causes me to add this last bit on just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to say, this is one of those struggles I know &lt;strong&gt;can be fairly common&lt;/strong&gt; so I don't want to alarm you with the next part, you know your kid.  This particular challenge &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; also be symptomatic of emotional disabilities I have encountered.  When this is the case, over concern for sticking to routine and/or an over-inflated sense of self-assurance in knowing what is fair or not carries on later in life and in a more extreme form with &lt;strong&gt;highly emotive&lt;/strong&gt; responses when the child sees something as not being part of the routine or as unfair.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know the extremity to which you are struggling with this one, but when I say &lt;strong&gt;highly emotive&lt;/strong&gt; I really do mean extreme.  This would be exhibited with jaw dropping behavior or ear-splitting yells, not just a sense of dissappointment and/or confusion.  If there is an emotional disability present of which you are already aware, you may want to mention the struggle to your child's therapist or get an opinion from one on whether this is symptomatic of the issue at hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are not already aware of such a disability in your child, but the problem really does seem extreme, you may want to visit with a child psychologist and discuss it with a professional and see what he/she thinks.  Again, this is if you think the problem is profound and extreme - remember this is fairly common in its milder form.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Expect to take the opportunity to give your child feedback about how he approaches negotiations for exceptions for himself and in how he tries to &quot;enforce the rules&quot; by pointing out shifts he can make in his approach that are softer and more respectful of difference for a long time forward.&lt;/strong&gt; but I hope these first pointers give a good place to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="3122" LastEditDate="2013-12-15T13:07:29.963" LastActivityDate="2013-12-15T13:07:29.963" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10702" CreationDate="2013-12-12T10:24:06.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting question. The general solution is to make a differences between principles and rules. For example, as a rule we follow rules on the road and don't drive on the wrong side. But the principle behind is to not endanger others life. If one day you are driving someone to the hospital for some urgent matter, driving on the wrong side maybe be the right thing to do, if it is not too dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this difference can and should be understood by kids, and the best way would be to show the example, because explaining is never as powerful as showing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case maybe (my hypothesis) you are following rules very closely yourself. You could grab an occasion to break rules innocently in front of the kid and make a game out of it. For instance, if you usually don't eat anything before dinner, one day you could &quot;steal&quot; a piece of ham in the plate and share with the kid, and say &quot;it is too good to resist&quot;, with a blink. But maybe not allow to eat all of them, or put disorder in a well-prepared plate, because the principle behind is to not disrupt a nice family dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-12-12T10:24:06.580" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10700" CreationDate="2013-12-12T10:30:01.147" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I remember well, I read in a book in French called &quot;L’enfant et les écrans&quot; that what is actually discouraged is to let kids below 3 face a screen &lt;strong&gt;alone&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It ok to watch TV, play tablet or phone games together for a reasonable amount of time, as long as it is done together. Obviously a Skype session fit very well with this advice, so it is 100% ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-12-12T10:30:01.147" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10709" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10718" CreationDate="2013-12-12T16:02:07.017" Score="15" ViewCount="2278" Body="&lt;p&gt;Should I start my toddler off with a Qwerty or &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dvorak_Simplified_Keyboard&quot;&gt;Dvorak&lt;/a&gt; keyboard?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use Qwerty myself. I have tried to learn Dvorak but I failed. The Qwerty key strokes are so hardwired in me that it would take a monumental effort to change. But I am persuaded that Dvorak is a better layout, at least for typical users. So if I was starting from scratch I would learn Dvorak - and I'm wondering whether I should encourage my toddler to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can see she'd have some problems, particularly on school computers that inevitably use Qwerty. But these problems can be dealt with; all modern OS support Dvorak. Does anyone have practical experience of this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would it be worth talking to the school, to see if they'll teach the whole year group Dvorak?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6255" LastActivityDate="2019-08-12T01:52:44.427" Title="First keyboard: Qwerty or Dvorak?" Tags="|computer|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10709" CreationDate="2013-12-12T16:40:14.603" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know Dvorak is faster, but I would say Qwerty.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My logic is that 99% of the keyboards she'll run across in her life will be Qwerty.  It's not worth the trouble to type amazingly fast on 1% of the keyboards, but have to sit and painfully peck on remaining 99% keyboards.  Even if she could always carry a keyboard with her, it still will limit her (think laptops.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what would help is to train her to type correctly (typing tutors, etc.)  Most never take the time to learn, and wind up hunting-and-pecking which limits the upper speed limit regardless of the keyboard layout &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt the school would go with Dvorak, for the same reasons.  Installed base is a very, very powerful force to counter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6246" LastActivityDate="2013-12-12T16:40:14.603" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10709" CreationDate="2013-12-12T18:12:44.827" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I daresay that the keyboard layout is not an issue for typing speed for 99% of population. Correct typing on a qwerty is fast enough, trust me - I know, since I work in IT and don't type properly, and it is fast enough (&gt;400 characters per minute).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use the standard qwerty layout, but make sure your child learns to type properly&lt;/strong&gt;. There are lots of applications which aid in such learning. Some of them are online, some of them are even fun:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-12-12T18:12:44.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10712" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-12T20:25:30.007" Score="10" ViewCount="33791" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the last few months I have been observing some disturbing sexual behavior from my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is rubbing his penis on  the bed or pillow. Sometimes he would get naked and rub very tightly and make some sounds of pleasure! Previously, I thought he was playing... but later I understood. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His father doesn't want me to scold him, but one day I was really surprised and shocked by one incident... when I was in deep sleep in the afternoon, I suddenly woke up and saw he had pulled up my skirt and trying to mount me! I was really shocked!  I'm really upset.  What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6257" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-12-13T13:54:56.407" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:57:48.263" Title="5 yr old son behaving sexually" Tags="|pre-schooler|sex|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10712" CreationDate="2013-12-13T00:32:16.240" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;While each child is unique, there are some commonly observed sexual behaviors typical for a 5 year old child (so called Normative Behavior) and some behavior that is of a concern (Symptomatic Behavior). The following wikipedia article describes some of these behaviors:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexuality#Normative_and_non-normative_behaviors&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexuality#Normative_and_non-normative_behaviors&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The attempt for a sexual contact that you described seems unusual and of concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you consider the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;when you have a problem, using appropriate words and context for 5 year old chid, ask your son in a calm way for reasons for his behavior (at the time it happens). Explain to your son that such touching is not appropriate behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;let your son sleep in his own room. It will give you more privacy and prevents any unintended surprises. Sleeping separately will also teach your son that parents and children need their own privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;ensure that your son does not have unrestricted / unsupervised access to the Internet (computer, tablet, smart phone) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;also carefully check that he is not exposed to inappropriate sexual content through his peers, siblings, father or someone else around him (care taker)?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;communicate with your son on regular basis about anything that bothers him, scares him or wants to share with you&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6185" LastEditorUserId="6185" LastEditDate="2013-12-13T00:50:02.523" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T00:50:02.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10714" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-13T03:55:27.430" Score="6" ViewCount="606" Body="&lt;p&gt;The relationship I am in is the first with someone that has a kid of her own (I have 2). Her son is 7 years old and I've been his life since he was 4. I noticed then that his mother let him talk to her in a way I believe to be disrespectful. But in her eyes, it wasn't and even thought of it as harmless. Even when she takes him over to her parents' house, they override her actions and let him do as he pleases which makes his mother mad at times. But she thinks he needs this because he's also the only grandchild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, with me, I show no favoritism and I treat him like I treat my own two kids. I expect kids to be kids and respect adults and not talk back and say, &quot;What are you gonna do?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that's our problem: She thinks I'm too strict but I can't just let anyone disrespect her in my face. She gets mad at me for this. They'll be playing ten minutes later but she's still mad at me even three hours later. I don't know what to do! I love them both but I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Help me, anyone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6260" LastEditorUserId="6207" LastEditDate="2013-12-13T10:11:16.297" LastActivityDate="2013-12-20T21:02:46.643" Title="Trying to be the best stepdad I can be." Tags="|step-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4792" CreationDate="2013-12-13T03:57:26.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it traumatic?  No.  You're doing the right thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some important points.  First, make bedtime a ritual.  At the same time each night, put him in bed, tuck him in, read him a story, say your nightly prayers, and kiss him goodnight.  Then turn out the lights and shut the door and leave it shut.  This teaches him that play time is over, it's now sleepy time.  Be as consistent as possible.  I would wait until he falls asleep, then open the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, it is a test of wills.  You two have to be firm, loving, but united. If children see a crack between you and your wife, they will exploit it.  Consistency and unity works wonders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, you're the adults.  You know better than he does.  DO NOT YIELD and do not give in.  If he cries and you give in, you've taught him that crying is what it takes to get what he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember that the battles get harder not easier.  Wills become stronger not weaker.  Consequences get progressively worse.  Winning the battles now saves everyone pain later.  Giving in to your children hurts them.  It doesn't help them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6246" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T03:57:26.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10702" CreationDate="2013-12-13T04:28:48.383" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two reasons for a child to want to follow the rules:  so he knows what to do (i.e., so he doesn't look stupid in front of others), and so he doesn't get into trouble.  Don't laugh at the first: when doing the right thing is important to you but you have difficulty figuring out what that is, it is very reassuring to have rules that tell you what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son must have been very upset when his classmate was supposed to be quiet but she was not.  How can it be fair for her to not follow the rule and he has to?  He naturally does not want to accept the implicit inference that she has more privileges than he.  He sees that he can reclaim his equality by either stopping her from singing, or by singing himself.  He doesn't particularly want to sing, and he is afraid of getting into trouble, so he tries to stop her by telling her the rule, but that doesn't work.  Now he is even more upset because he has demonstrated his powerlessness in front of everyone.  He tries to reclaim some dignity by being even more strict in his adherence to the rule -- to show her that the rule is so important he won't even tell on her when she hit him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are right to try to help him get beyond this.  However, before you take away his respect for/adherence to the rules and fear of getting into trouble -- you don't want him to go too much in the other direction! -- give him some rules he should always follow (Guillaume used the word principles).  The main one is the Golden Rule (&quot;Behave towards others as you would have them behave towards you&quot;).  Show him (again as Guillaume suggests) how the specific rules we follow derive from this, and tell him that the degree to which these specific rules should be adhered to depends on how much someone will be hurt if we break them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him that the rules in school are there to help keep kids from getting hurt and to keep the classrooms organized so everybody can learn easily.  In general rules are meant to keep the greatest number of people happy and safe, which is why we shouldn't break them;  but that sometimes there are bad rules that should be broken; that sometimes good rules should be broken in certain circumstances; and that sometimes good rules should not be broken (but if once in a while you break these rules, people will still respect you if no one gets hurt and you take your punishment without complaining).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to him about Rosa Parks.  Ask him if he can tell you what made the rule about Negroes sitting in the back of the bus a bad one?  (Hopefully he will be able to relate this to the Golden Rule.)  Talk to him about how brave she must have been to do what she did, and say how much you admire her.  (Later you can maybe bring home a book about her from the library and read it together.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then ask him if he can think of a situation in which it would be okay to speed (as Guillaume points out). Or to ask to go to the bathroom during class time (as Karl Bielefeldt suggests).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then ask him if he sometimes admires kids who break the rules.  Are there certain kids who seem not afraid to break the rules but are never mean when they do it?  Is there a different set of kids who break the rules and everybody resents them for it?  What is the difference in the way these two groups of kids break the rules?  Ask him, when they get sent to the principal's office (or whatever the punishment is in his school), do they seem to be okay afterwards?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him most kids get sent to the principal's office at least once in their lives.  Sometimes because the teacher made a mistake and thought they did something bad when they didn't.  Tell him it's okay if it happens to him.  Tell him it won't be particularly pleasant but he's tough enough to handle it.  Tell him about some time you broke the rules, took your punishment/learned your lesson, and moved beyond it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find a book in which good kids break the rules -- or are accused of doing so -- and are punished by the adults around them, but they don't seem to be devastated by it.  My daughter and I have been listening to &lt;em&gt;Bud, Not Buddy&lt;/em&gt; on CD -- we admire how hard the resilient Bud tries to &quot;Have a Funner Life and Make a Better Liar Out of [Him]self&quot;.   There's also lots to think about in Barbara Robinson's &lt;em&gt;The Best Christmas Pageant Ever&lt;/em&gt; and its sequels, books where bad kids (the Herdmans) break the rules, but it's okay (it's hilarious actually), and the world doesn't end, and maybe they're not all of them as bad as you think at the beginning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, help him relax about other people breaking the rules, help him take it less personally, by telling him that even if they seem to get away with it, frequently they are not really getting off without consequences.  Ask him what does he think his other classmates thought of the girl who thought she was so special that she could break the Quiet Game rule?  Does he think they all maybe resented her?  Will people want to be friends with someone who cuts people in line all the time or leaves his trash on the lunch table for other kids to clean up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2013-12-13T04:34:13.220" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T04:34:13.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10709" CreationDate="2013-12-13T10:47:22.540" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer: &lt;strong&gt;use Qwerty.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long answer: &lt;strong&gt;it depends:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do you want to introduce Dvorak? Hear me out -- I think Dvorak is great but the mere fact that it's not the universal default makes for a difficult reality. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First: &lt;strong&gt;The difference lies in typing &lt;em&gt;comfort,&lt;/em&gt; not speed.&lt;/strong&gt; There is no noticeable speed difference between Qwerty and Dvorak, provided that the test subjects are well trained in their chosen layout. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I have no hope at all that Dvorak will slowly become the dominant layout - ever.&lt;/strong&gt; It's been around nearly as long as the Qwerty layout, and even in this millennium its usage is limited to those experts/geeks who care about this - but they are less than 0.001% of the workforce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, using Dvorak would be recommended if you're J.K. Rowling or Stephen King (or an average office worker) just because you'll be typing a lot. But if you won't be using a keyboard most of your career, then Qwerty is probably the wiser choice simply because it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; the universal default.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using Dvorak is neat. It's comfortable. &lt;em&gt;Learning&lt;/em&gt; it is a horrible pain for those who were already proficient in Qwerty before they started with Dvorak. If you're a hunt-and-peck typist then you won't even notice the different layout :-) and if you're just starting with typing then both would be learned equally well. This is of course what you're thinking of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But realize that for someone who is proficient &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; in Dvorak will have a hard time when he/she is not at his own keyboard. (I use a Danish layout but live in Austria, that little bit of layout difference is enough of a challenge!) There will be plenty of situations where you'll be facing a Qwerty layout, and you &lt;em&gt;won't&lt;/em&gt; have the luxury to simply install Dvorak before you start typing. Many businesses restrict the software permissions, and many times in life you'll be borrowing someone else's workplace for a limited time. Also: shared home computer?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are countless situations where this is going to be bothersome, and you'll feel like an outsider, and you'll be dealing with questions about why you're weird. This is reality, unless you practically never use anything but your own computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do the benefits in comfort outweigh the trouble it brings? That's an individual assessment, and you can't know what your child will do in the future. Your idea is commendable, but I think there are bigger battles to fight, more important issues in life to spend your energy on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Source: I've been proficient on Qwerty for 25+ years and started using Dvorak a few years ago - but still haven't made the switch full-time, in part because of workplace difficulties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T10:47:22.540" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10714" CreationDate="2013-12-13T16:21:03.833" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;While your situation is complicated and difficult, it is great to see how far you have come with your and your partner kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the following suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Consistent Response to Child's Action&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child should always receive the same message of approval or disapproval for a given action/behavior from all care takers. For example, if a child wants to eat a bag of candies, both parents should agree on whether that will be allowed or not. The child should not be able to 'test' his/her mother and if mother says 'no', then try to ask separately his/her father and receive 'yes' answer. If you allow this to happen, the child will learn that rules don't matter and it will actively try to break them by asking the right person for permission.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if it happens that the father didn't know about what the mother said because e.g. he was in a different room in the house then you need to immediately explain to the child that he/she cannot go to the other parent if the first parent says 'no'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore it is important to agree with your partner and her parents that you all will be consistent in terms of allowing or disallowing certain behavior and if one of you says 'no' then other care takers cannot override that decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Child Respect of an Adults (Talking Back)&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What seems like a disrespect is basically a child's need to communicate and learn more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compared to the past, today's kids are exposed to and have access to lots of information from the Internet, games and subsequently from their peers. They are becoming more mature in the sense of understanding the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result, the dynamics between parents and children are dramatically changing. Kids can now better understand the world around them, including what parents are doing and why (to some degree). However, with more knowledge also comes more responsiblity and parents need to let kids to be more independent, more curious and have its own opinions and reasons within certain boundaries appropriate for kids age and surroundings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However we always need to ensure that kids are safe both physically and mentally from interating with the Internet and continue to have basic rules of behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore we, parents, need to adjust to this information age and understand that having more communication between us and our kids ('talking back') is a good thing as it lowers the chance of misunderstanding and allow kids to better cope with the information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Child Asking &amp;quot;What are you gonna do?&amp;quot;&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider the question &amp;quot;What are you gonna do?&amp;quot; as a part of regular communication between you and your partner's son. Calmly explain him why do you consider his behavior to be incorrect. Then you can outline what the consequences will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This assumes that you already had a good conversation with your partner and her parents and have an agreement on being consistent and agree on what consequences are appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the first step would be to find a time when you and your partner (her parents) can privately discuss this subject and further clarify your concerns&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6185" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T18:43:42.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6617" CreationDate="2013-12-13T16:30:05.437" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everyone types differently, yes there are general guidelines for touch typing, but they are not hard and fast, and if you were concerned about typing speed you might as well start them on Dvorak keyboards from the off - I wouldn't advise that at all!  Studies recently showed that most 75wpm typists cannot actually place the letters of a keyboard onto a blank template in the correct places, it becomes a subconscious effort that you are best left to develop naturally, rather than try to teach - especially at a young age with no specific requirement to be good.  Better to just give them plenty of time and varied activities on a keyboard and allow them to develop naturally.  Hunt and peck is fine, I still do it for some of the non alphanumeric characters, and it will develop into 4 finger, then 6 etc as their co-ordination and motor skills improve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the subject of handwriting, I don't feel I can add much to what has been said, other than to say/confirm/repeat that learning to write well by hand proffers many advantages over and above simply writing, in terms of fine motor skills that can translate into all sorts of activities, who knows if in future years they won't be wielding a soldering iron/paintbrush/surgeons scalpel/craft knife etc etc and building on these skills, and so shouldn't be considered less useful than typing might be in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2199" LastActivityDate="2013-12-13T16:30:05.437" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8880" CreationDate="2013-12-14T09:46:57.863" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do not think putting your child to bed at 6pm abusive. I remember as a child my brother (who was 2 years younger than me) and I were always bathed and in our pajamas by 6pm. Bedtime was usually between 6-30pm - 7pm. We would then have to be up by 7am the following morning and get ready to go to school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our Mother always liked us to have at least 12hrs sleep each night. I think this continued till I was about 12yrs old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6268" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-10-15T09:34:22.880" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T09:34:22.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8880" CreationDate="2013-12-14T13:49:52.063" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former teacher, and a child that was raised alongside children that had been removed from their homes for actual abuse, I'm angry for you reading the details of your question!!!  This teacher, from the information you included, has stepped way &quot;out of bounds&quot; and you need not worry about her statement having any truth to it.  I agree whole-heartedly with KarlBielefeldt's sentiments about dilution of the word abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are right that kids need their sleep and if she has to get up early, her bedtime should be adjusted to an earlier time as well.  Getting enough sleep is crazy important - far more important than most of us think it is and effects a lot of things about our daily lives we don't realize.  I struggle with Restless Legs Syndrome and often lose sleep over it.  The realities of being &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/excessive-sleepiness-10/10-results-sleep-loss&quot;&gt;sleep-deprived for adults&lt;/a&gt; are bad enough with they way it effects weight, mood, and memory (among other things), but when you consider the detriment to a young growing body, it is even more serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know a lack of sleep affects the ability of the brain to learn, remember and focus as well as the child's mood (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthline.com/health/ahd/sleep-problems#2&quot;&gt;In fact, there is at least one hypothesis connecting sleep deprivation and ADHD&lt;/a&gt;).  We also know that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-connection-between-sleep-and-growth_3658990.bc#undefined&quot;&gt;much of a child's growth happens during their sleep&lt;/a&gt; - or at least, that is when the highest most intense part of Human Growth Hormone release happens.  You are doing the right thing by prioritizing sleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I taught, I frequently told parents to prioritize sleep over even homework more.  If they didn't get it done, Saturday morning could be used to catch up.  Parents were often surprised to have a teacher tell them this, but kids really do need their sleep, and it needs to come first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I think a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/parents/sleep_matters/&quot;&gt;9 year old falls into the category&lt;/a&gt; of kids that need between 10 and 12 hours of sleep, so she &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; not need the full 12 hours to be healthy.  If you are sacrificing family time, or she is complaining none of her friends go to bed that early or something, you might experiment with slightly less sleep and see if she still seems herself.  If she does, you know you can move that bed-time up by half an hour (or more depending on your child) without risking her well-being.  If your schedule isn't bothering anybody except her teacher, than stick with it and WAY TO GO!!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-14T13:49:52.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10610" CreationDate="2013-12-14T17:14:57.503" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in the &lt;em&gt;exact&lt;/em&gt; same situation a couple of years ago. I took it as a challenge. Today, my son is 4 and we both speak English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When people ask:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So, you're teaching him English?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Nope. We are actually learning it together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here're some tips off the top of my head:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use learner's dictionary; have it always with you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;watch videos, listen to podcasts, read books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use Wikipedia as often as you can&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be consistent day and night, no exceptions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, it's been an amazing journey!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6269" LastEditorUserId="6269" LastEditDate="2016-02-11T13:31:19.677" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T13:31:19.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10725" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10730" CreationDate="2013-12-14T19:12:27.647" Score="9" ViewCount="455" Body="&lt;p&gt;I baby sit a three year old regularly.  When I leave he is asked to choose between a hug and kiss, a high five, or a fist bump as a way to see me off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the other morning, when his Dad was leaving for work, the three year old told his Dad he needed to be as nice to me as to mommy and give me a hug and kiss so I didn't feel left out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is super cute and the three year old's intentions are loving.  The Dad was a little freaked.  While I didn't mind a hug, a kiss (even on the cheek) would have been over-the top in our culture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-15T12:54:07.247" Title="When the three year old tells two unmarried, unrelated adults to hug and kiss goodbye - What then?" Tags="|daycare|relationships|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5080" CreationDate="2013-12-14T22:52:34.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've raised three highly successful adults from infancy.   In theory, this current &quot;concern about future hearing and cognitive ability being compromised by exposure to tv&quot;  makes sense, especially when backed by studies about decibel levels. etc.  But my sense of logic tells me there are many other factors to consider.  I wonder what the effect high-pitched screaming has on the numerous sleeping infants who are constantly exposed to such sounds at childcare facilities.  Barking dogs, the irratic playful screams &amp;amp; squeals of children playing certainly reach decibel levels equal to whatever conscientious parents would ever expose their babies to as &quot;background tv sounds&quot;.  Even the sound of a tea kettle reaching the boiling point each time it is used throughout the day, honking car horns, police sirens, train whistles, screeching birds, or car breaks, sneezing, snoring (for Goodness sakes, this may reach the highest decibel level of all these things combined in some cases) .....Are we to somehow eliminate all these sounds from our infants' lives because they are a potential cause for delay in speech and word recognition?  Yikes !  Good luck with that, new parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If however, the effort is made to avoid using tv as a babysitter, or in place of talking with or reading to, or simply playing with your baby, then the point is well made.  It is nothing new to the goal new parents have of doing the very best they can, in all ways regarding their new babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see tv as just one of many sources of amusement (from the Latin &quot;away from thinking&quot;) which can certainly be a wonderfully relaxing way for new parents to avoid obsessing about their babies and allow themselves the healthy choice to spend time while Baby is sleeping , simply &quot;chilling&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6271" LastActivityDate="2013-12-14T22:52:34.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10727" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10746" CreationDate="2013-12-14T23:41:54.250" Score="6" ViewCount="1419" Body="&lt;p&gt;How fast does the swimming reflex of an infant disappear and how can I keep it active without going to the pool in the first 6 months of its life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6270" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2013-12-17T13:36:05.183" LastActivityDate="2013-12-17T22:45:18.767" Title="How fast does the prenatal swimming reflex disappear?" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10729" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10731" CreationDate="2013-12-15T08:28:36.243" Score="18" ViewCount="1826" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is 6 years old and often quite &quot;bullheaded&quot;. If something does not go the way he wants, he is very frustrated and quickly shows a tantrum, cries, screams and insults us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We then send him to his room (mostly I have to bring him there as he refuses to go), the door gets closed and he can come out if he has calmed down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that I'd expect him to apologize for his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my understanding and feeling apologizing would be needed to make up with each other again.&#xA;On the one hand I think that he must say &quot;sorry&quot; deliberately and that he also must mean it honestly, not just say it because we expect it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I think it is necessary to say sorry after such behavior and I can not stay him doing as if nothing had happened ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I tend to be reserved or &quot;cold&quot; as long as he has not apologized, but I feel bad with that as bearing a grudge is also no behavior I want to teach him...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;So should I insist on apologies and what should I do in the meantime before he apologizes?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastActivityDate="2013-12-15T16:59:09.847" Title="Does a child need to apologize and how should I react while it does not?" Tags="|primary-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10725" CreationDate="2013-12-15T12:54:07.247" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;The boy is clearly trying to figure out adult relationships, and maybe even adult boy-girl relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the dad standing right there, I would smile at the boy and say, “That’s not something your dad and I feel comfortable doing.”  If  he asks why, or says, “But Daddy kisses Mommy&quot; or &quot;You kiss me,” I would explain that (in our culture) hugs and kisses are for really close friends or family, and then only if they like to do them – emphasizing the “only” since it is never too young to start letting him know that he has a right to say no to unwanted touching, and adding the “in our culture” part only if you think he’s ready for a discussion about how behavior differs in different cultures.  (I think three was when I started explaining culture to my kid, but she’s always been socially gifted.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would see nothing wrong with letting him know that you and he are closer friends that you and his dad, in case that comes up, BTW.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2013-12-15T12:54:07.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10729" CreationDate="2013-12-15T14:54:00.620" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a wonderful set of conflicting goals here that I'm sure many parents have grappled with - I know I have.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your question really has three parts to it (so my answer is quite long - sorry, but I really hope it helps), the most obvious question is, should I make him apologize? but there are two other key ingredients here too:  Will my coldness when he doesn't apologize be harmful to him ultimately? and How do I get the tantrums to stop without being cold with or without a forced apology?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll start with the coldness part of things.  You are absolutley right, being cold teaches your son that your love is conditional.  This is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; a healthy thing for him at all, nor is it teaching him a better way to express his frustrations.  You may find &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health/15mind.html?_r=0&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; from the New York Times interesting, helpful and informative as it summarizes what the consequences for teaching children conditional love are likely to be.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quote from the article:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It turned out that children who received conditional approval were&#xA;  indeed somewhat more likely to act as the parent wanted. But&#xA;  compliance came at a steep price. First, these children tended to&#xA;  resent and dislike their parents. Second, they were apt to say that&#xA;  the way they acted was often due more to a “strong internal pressure”&#xA;  than to “a real sense of choice.” Moreover, their happiness after&#xA;  succeeding at something was usually short-lived, and they often felt&#xA;  guilty or ashamed. . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In practice, according to an impressive collection of data by Dr. Deci&#xA;  and others, unconditional acceptance by parents as well as teachers&#xA;  should be accompanied by “autonomy support”: explaining reasons for&#xA;  requests, maximizing opportunities for the child to participate in&#xA;  making decisions, being encouraging without manipulating, and actively&#xA;  imagining how things look from the child’s point of view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The last of these features is important with respect to unconditional&#xA;  parenting itself. Most of us would protest that of course we love our&#xA;  children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things&#xA;  look from the perspective of the children — whether they feel just as&#xA;  loved when they mess up or fall short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The jist, &quot;don't use your affections as a reward, or your removal of them as a punishment.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In regard to the other two questions&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest &quot;starting over.&quot; for a little while.  &lt;strong&gt;Often, when kids express themselves through tantrums it is because they haven't learned an alternative way to express themselves constructively&lt;/strong&gt;.  Although a tantrum isn't getting your son what he wants, it &lt;strong&gt;does&lt;/strong&gt; allow him to be &lt;strong&gt;certain&lt;/strong&gt; you know he is unahppy with you and the limits or decisions you made.  Therefore, it is working for him on some level.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surpise him next time he starts in on a tantrum and give him a hug along with an alternative way to express himself.  &quot;I know you feel angry right now, I love you.&quot;  along with a hug, is likely to shock him back out of his tantrum given the history of things and will signal something is changing.  You can then talk to him about &quot;constructive&quot; ways to express what he wants vs. inappropriate ways and how one might lead to win-wins while the other does not.  Of course this also means he needs to understand the idea behind compromise is that everyone gets &lt;strong&gt;something&lt;/strong&gt; but not necessarily exactly what was initially wanted.  Then, state what it is he is wanting and that he is feeling frusted back to him.  In doing this, you do two things: Let him know you heard and understand him and still love him even though you disagree, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; you model constructive ways to express his emotions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After this first experience, don't give him a hug every time, but if he starts in on a tantrum you might try, &quot;I know you are frustrated that you can't have (said thing).&quot;  When used in combo with the &quot;win-win&quot; approach I am about to describe, you will teach your son the alternative way of communicating he needs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do modeling seeking out win-win solutions yourself with he, any siblings and with your significant other (if present), but you can also further your child's understanding through ongoing conversation and/or stories in which compromises are contained.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The frame to use with him - verbatum at first so he starts hearing it as a pattern is: &quot;I understand that you want (said thing), what I want (know you need) is (thing he needs), I'd like to try (a workable solution that also aknowledgges what he wants.&quot;  Start out offering up a solution that you are happy with and aknowledges his wishes too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A real-world example of this might be: &quot;I know you are in the middle of a game right now, but dinner is ready for us to eat.  How about I give you two minutes to get to a good stopping place in your game and then we'll eat?  I can do that.&quot;  You've let him know you've heard his wishes.  You've stated yours.  You've offered up something that shows you are giving a little if he gives a little (&lt;strong&gt;do not do this in response to tantrums though - at first, you'll need to do it pre-tantrum so it requires a little prophesy on your part&lt;/strong&gt;).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you've done that for awhile give him the chance to come up with the mutually agreeable solution with &quot;I understand that you want (said thing), but I want (know you need) for (what you want/think he needs), so can you think of something that meets both our goals?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example of a real life situation:  &quot;Son, I know you want a snack right now, but dinner is only 30 minutes away.  I need you to have a healthy meal and not be too full of snacks for dinner time.  Can you think of a solution that meets both our wishes/needs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;of course there are times when as the parent, there is no compromise because you are concerned about safety, health or values you hold dear and are trying to teach&lt;/strong&gt; but if you compromise on some of the other things, you can honestly say you do, and this is just one of those times you have to pull the parent card because, &quot;I love you son and know and want what is best for you.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A related set of resources which my husband and I refer to frequently are the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.summary.com/aw/srcovey?gclid=CLaFh5O_srsCFcTm7Aod2ToA5w&quot;&gt;Seven Habits books&lt;/a&gt;.  In particular, we use &quot;The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families&quot; and &quot;The Seven Habits of Happy Kids.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In regard to apologies&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that my own daughter is seven, here is how I've generally approached it with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She understands that I feel, when a person makes a mistake that causes some one else a problem or hurt, we have to do our best to make up for it or some how make it right.  Often, the first step in doing this, is communicating to that other person who was affected that you would like to make it right.  This can come out as an, &quot;I'm sorry&quot; but there are other ways to communicate the feeling too.  &quot;I wish I had not acted that way,&quot; or &quot;I regret my actions made you feel. . . &quot; are two others.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also understands through conversations about it, my modeling and enforced consequences, that the apology is only the first step.  An apology without congruent follow-up actions becomes meaningless, just like promises broken multiple times makes future promises meaningless.  It is up to her in a given situation to figure out what the follow up action would be.  As an example, she once dropped my camera and it broke.  It was completely an accident, but she offered to buy me a new one - that is a congruent follow up action.  Of course I thanked her for her offer and didn't take any money from her since it was purely an accident but the thought was there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dealing with the Tantrums Themselves if they continue after introducing all of the above&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have aknowledged his wishes and then stated yours and he throws a tantrum in response, I would respond with, &quot;I love you, but I do not discuss win-win solutions with someone that speaks to me that way.  Would you like to try again?&quot; At that point he may very well surprise you with a completely reasonable and rational win-win suggestion.  If not, then, don't bend.  Calmly and simply interupt anything he says with a raised voice or that contains an insult with, &quot;That is not going to get you anything.&quot;  Again, don't bend, he doesn't get what he wants, no win-win is discussed further &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; if he really gets out of control, he needs to go calm down in his room until he is ready to be reasonable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, I wouldn't require the apology for coming out.  I'd give him a hug or some loving remark about being glad he decided to rejoin you.  Be glad to see him now that he is calm.  At the same time, whatever it is he misses out on while he was calming down - he misses out on.  If he is in his room while you are eating and misses dinner, he goes hungry for the evening.  Don't pause favorite shows or games, just calmly move on with life.  When he does come back out, you can say, &quot;I'm so glad you've rejoined us, we are. . . &quot;  The key is that you &lt;strong&gt;cannot&lt;/strong&gt; get emotional about it.  When he finds you've turned off the game, or allowed the show he was watching to play through or that he has missed dinner or whatever, &quot;I know, it is so sad your choices meant you had to miss out on &lt;em&gt;_&lt;/em&gt;, maybe next time you'll find a constructive way to express your frustration.&quot;  If you respond with emotion it is working for him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the tantrums don't stop after you've set the &quot;refresh button&quot; and started again with the focus on searching for &quot;win-win&quot; solutions, I'd take it to the next level with him in terms of lost activities.  In adult life as well as his friendships, if he were to throw a tantrum every time he didn't get his way, people would stop inviting him places so:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has he thrown any of these tantrums when it was time to leave a friend's?  At the park?  etc. etc.?  Start not going to those places.  &quot;I'm so sorry son, I wish I could take you, but when you act unreasonably and throw a tantrum it makes me feel embarassed and I can't trust you not to do that.  As sad as we all feel for you that you can't go out and enjoy (said thing), we have to learn we can trust you first.&quot;  Here is where he starts figuring out there are real-life consequences for behavior that is out of hand, but you are being loving and warm about it, just matter - of fact and not saving him from his own actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same thing at home.  Is there a pattern to the tantrums?  Is it usually over not getting to play a certain game? turning the TV off at bed time or meal time? sharing appropriately?  &quot;I know it is really a bummer that you can no longer watch TV after school, but you've shown us you aren't ready to handle turning it off when it is time to do homework, have dinner and get ready for bed, so, until we can trust you to make better decisions, we just aren't going to have it on at all.  I know, its really a bummer we can't trust you not to have tantrums about it, but there it is.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, allow him to put two and two together and offer up the apology completely of his own volition.  When he does, reward him with a little renewed trust and have a talk about how he can win back the rest of your trust.  Good Luck and let us know how it goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-15T16:59:09.847" LastActivityDate="2013-12-15T16:59:09.847" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10736" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-16T19:28:41.413" Score="4" ViewCount="653" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel incredibly stupid and awful about this, but a while ago I jokingly referred to my daughters' poo (in her nappy, not in the toilet) as a monster (because it was so big).  I think I have now given her a fear of pooping and having her diaper changed. I need to start toilet training but think I have really set her back now.  She now only poos every 2-3 days and tries to avoid diaper changes. I am going to start talking about how nice her poos are and praise her but has anyone else found something useful in this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6281" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2015-01-04T09:27:23.060" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T09:27:23.060" Title="How can I alleviate my 34 month old little girl's fear of poo?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2013-12-17T13:22:12.567" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9326" CreationDate="2013-12-16T20:28:11.693" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sounds alot like me when I was a child. I'm not going to even attempt to provide &quot;scientific&quot; or &quot;researched&quot; meaning or methodology, but I will give you a taste of what transformed me from the problem child to the man I am today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Questions. Ask them. When he talks back ask &quot;Well, how do we make this right?&quot; or &quot;How do you think it should be?&quot; &lt;strong&gt;Don't dumb down your responses&lt;/strong&gt;. Talk to him like he is an &lt;strong&gt;adult&lt;/strong&gt;. Use large multi-syllable words. His mind is one that needs constant challenge. Provide the challenges. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be &lt;strong&gt;sporadic&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;random&lt;/strong&gt;. Catch him off guard with a &quot;Hey, look at this...&quot; or a new coloring book and some crayons. Ask him to read something for you. Stop reading right now and walk over and kiss him on the head. Don't grab him or hug him, just a quick kiss &lt;strong&gt;without bothering him&lt;/strong&gt;. Let him stay in the zone he is in; he'll recognize it and it will warm him. Have your husband ask him to &lt;strong&gt;help&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You say he is excelling academically; &lt;strong&gt;he's probably bored at school&lt;/strong&gt;. The work isn't challenging enough. His answers are off-base because he is trying to see them in a different light. He's in his own world. We're all just visitors to it. He's going to &lt;strong&gt;AMAZE&lt;/strong&gt; you in the coming years.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He may be getting teased/pick on for being intelligent (it happens - I lived it). I can't think of a polite/nice way to put this: &lt;strong&gt;Don't ever say/think that social incompatibility isn't true.&lt;/strong&gt; He is smarter than his peers and has trouble dealing with people that aren't as smart as he. he may be intellectually developed far higher than his peers and that may be why he is &quot;bothered&quot; by them. Ask him why they bother him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The lack of friends: he doesn't want them. His friends are likely to be found on a shelf. Books. Get him more. Take him to the library. Don't worry about the reading level or what &lt;strong&gt;YOU&lt;/strong&gt; or his teachers &lt;strong&gt;THINK&lt;/strong&gt; he should have, &lt;strong&gt;let him pick&lt;/strong&gt;. Give him control of his education. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;His questioning and disregard of authority is an exploration of the world surrounding him. He wants to know what is acceptable, what isn't, and what he can get away with. Again, &lt;strong&gt;let him help determine what is right or wrong.&lt;/strong&gt; With him, rules aren't going to be black and white, he wants to see the process behind the creation of the rule. Don't try reasoning with him, it won't work. Instead &lt;strong&gt;guide him&lt;/strong&gt; through the reasoning by helping direct his mind. When you tell him to do something and he says no, ask him why? If he answers with &quot;because I don't wanna&quot; or similar ask him what he wants to do. Don't leave something too open ended, force the behavior through thought process manipulation. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NO PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE. EVER.&lt;/strong&gt; This doesn't get to the root of the problem. It simply puts lipstick on a pig. His father can be a disciplinary, but yelling and physical punishment is not needed. That is one of the reasons he is acting up. If he is in trouble, explain why. If he isn't supposed to be doing something, explain why. I don't want to belittle or criticize harshly, but:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He blames others for his misbehavior i.e. he says another child bothered him that's why he hit him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and later you say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...my husband frequently yells at him or hits him when he gets angry with my son. He pushes our buttons often. I get angry with him and sometimes yell, but don't get physical unless I am really pushed to the limit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds a bit similar to me...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I think he just imagines that everybody is bothering him and he uses that as an excuse for his misbehavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if his parents are simply imagining misbehavior and using that as an excuse for disciplinary actions? &lt;strong&gt;I want to repeat, I am not trying to be disrespectful, I'm viewing this as he does.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What draws out that awesome smile you describe? Figure that out and figure out a way to praise him with that. &lt;strong&gt;Don't provide general &quot;attaboys&quot; or high-fives.&lt;/strong&gt; Those are for normal kids. You have a gifted one, he needs a gifted praise system. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, &lt;strong&gt;enroll the assistance of the school&lt;/strong&gt;. Talk to the principal about putting him into a gifted program. Ask them to challenge him more. Ask them to get work from the second and third grade classes and give it to him. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm telling you, this kid sounds so much like me. I feel like I know him. I wonder... did he develop quickly? Was he walking/talking at a young age? Is his vocabulary somewhat large for a 6-year-old? Does he do seemingly simple tasks in complex ways? The simple description you provided just makes me think he is a very bright, intelligent young man that needs more challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6282" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-01T13:24:11.553" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T13:24:11.553" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2013-12-16T20:35:48.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make it a game! &quot;Yo Gabba Gabba&quot; has a great song that we sang with our oldest boy that really got him to clean up. Don't ask, don't tell, don't suggest - announce that it is time to start cleaning up, then break out the song. Start singing (huge smiles and dancing are an added boost to motivation) pick up something, hand it to her, pick up something else and put it up where it goes. When it's all picked up, end with a &quot;YAAAAAAAY!!! We cleaned it up!&quot; and reward her a quarter, a special &quot;all-cleaned-up&quot; snack, or another &lt;strong&gt;special&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;all-cleaned-up&quot; reward. Make sure the reward is unique to getting everything cleaned up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Link to &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nickjr.com/kids-videos/yo-gabba-clean-it-up.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Clean It Up&lt;/a&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6282" LastActivityDate="2013-12-16T20:35:48.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10739" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10744" CreationDate="2013-12-17T07:02:19.050" Score="6" ViewCount="4608" Body="&lt;p&gt;The milk is part of her bedtime routine...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should she still be using a bottle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't need the milk, it has just been a staple in her bedtime routine. I know that this is potentially bad for her teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I try to get her to use a sippy cup with water as part of the bedtime routine?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2013-12-17T20:22:46.943" Title="Two year old still takes a bottle of milk before bedtime, should I wean her from the bottle and the milk?" Tags="|bedtime|milk|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9326" CreationDate="2013-12-17T07:47:14.430" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This answer is ment to confront you. It will give you an unpleasent feeling. But hey, unpleasent feelings are there to indicate that something must change. If you do not wish to read a confronting answer, if you do not wish to feel uncomfortable for the sake of your child, then simply don't read it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only base this on the following quote (which seems to be removed from the initial question).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;however my husband frequently yells at him or hits him when he gets angry with my son. He pushes our buttons often. I get angry with him and sometimes yell, but don't get physical unless I am really pushed to the limit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be kept very short: You need to love your child unconditally. Oh, you say you love your child unconditionally, no matter what? WRONG!!! How is being angry, yelling and hitting a form of love? Do you think your child needs to &lt;em&gt;earn&lt;/em&gt; your love? WRONG!!!! That is totally not the concept of unconditionally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are part of the problem and you need to work on yourselves (that is, you and your husband need NOT to work on your behaviour, but on how you are). You will do that for your child? Look at the bright side, if you are part of the problem you are logically a part of a possible solution as well. Doesn't that feel empowerin, that you are actually able to do anthing about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to love your child unconditionally. Getting angry with him is the first sign that you don't, the second sign is yelling and the third worst sign of all is physically hurting him, which results in mental scars that last way longer than the bruces he might obtain by it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And what if your child is traumatized by something horrible as a child molester which made him the way he is, and you totally are not the root cause of the problem? Then being angry with him, yelling at him and hitting him excludes you directly from being anywhere close to being part of the healing process of this trauma, or anything that is related to guide him towards better behavior. So stop searching for external factors (school, friends, his intellectual intelligence or absense of emotional intellegence, whatever...) and become a part of the solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contemplate the meaning of unconditional love, and just try it out for a week. Its hard work hard to do so in the beginning I am sure (it requires you to get over your ego and conquer your fears), it gets more natural as you go, but its your duty as a parent do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, no, no, no, no.... The child won't abuse you, he won't abuse you for your goodness... Loving unconditionally doesn't mean accepting whatever he does and say and be ok with it. This is your fear and ego talking... Get rid of those, you do not need them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now start loving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. Of course I can elaborate on this more, and of course I want to help you any further with more kindly phrased guidance. But you needed the &lt;em&gt;slap in the face&lt;/em&gt; to wake up. If you do not like what I say or want other resources? Just Google around with keywords like &quot;unconditional parenting&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. I got children of my own. I experienced the effects of loving unconditionally. He says &quot;thank you&quot; when I give him something, I never taught him that. He comes at me spontaneously, giving me a kiss once a while, or a hug, I do not need to ask for that. Of course he messes around with his food, chases the cat sometimes, takes away a toy from his younger brother, of course he lays screaming on the ground when he doesn't want to put on his coat... Well, that's just part of his learning path, of his path growing up. I understand his behavior, I tell/show him whats right, I do no get emotionally upset when he screams and runs around the house not willing to put his shoes on. I do not get personally involved in that. It isn't personal either. We just continue with what he needs, the learning experience. I do not teach him behavior, I allow him and guide him to have experience to develop himself to become a loving being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What matters in the end? A loving home? Or ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4705" LastEditDate="2013-12-17T08:34:00.233" LastActivityDate="2013-12-17T08:34:00.233" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10739" CreationDate="2013-12-17T08:28:28.830" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have also a two-year-old child, and before bed-time she always take a glass of water, also if she doesn't really need it. In general I think that to respect a routine during bed-time is really important. I'm not sure if my suggestion will be right, but maybe you could try to introduce only little changes. For example taking the bottle of milk with you, and putting the milk in two glasses: one for you and one for your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6149" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-17T13:04:33.327" LastActivityDate="2013-12-17T13:04:33.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10736" CreationDate="2013-12-17T09:06:44.657" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did the same with my boy once. We have a Mickey Mouse phone with a &lt;em&gt;demo&lt;/em&gt; button and it starts moving and making sounds. I was holding my boy and made a jerking movement, to surprise him or so with a mind set of  &quot;oh geez, what is this all the sudden&quot;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What was I thinking, so stupid... I instantly made him afraid. And it didn't go away by just putting the think in front of him, forcing him to face it, to make him see there is nothing to fear. That totally didn't work at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What did work was, holding him on my arm and walking by the Mickey Mouse, not giving it attention as we passed. Or just randomly turning it on, not looking at it anymore. Or all sorts of stuff like that, repeatedly until he decided for himself, that it wasn't anything to be afraid of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is, do not put to much focus on it. It is not something we as adults have to &lt;em&gt;deal&lt;/em&gt; with, it is just something we do. Try to see/feel it like that and she will notice your feelings. That is what she did in the first place that made her fear her poo now. The reverse works the same, albeit it takes a bit longer when the fear was already set first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not potty train her for few days until she poos on her normal regular intervals. Then just start over again, not giving it to much attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't do it on purpose, and you learned from it (otherwise you wouldn't be knowing what caused it). She will get over it faster then you think. The more she can trust your feelings in it, the faster it is over. I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Goodluck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastActivityDate="2013-12-17T09:06:44.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10739" CreationDate="2013-12-17T13:23:19.800" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two reasons such a habit is bad for baby's teeth.  I, as well as others, elaborate further on both problems in response to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/9363/2876&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;.  The first is that prolonged use of a bottle can impact mouth shape and tooth position.  The second has to do with the chemical contents of the milk and the propensity for tooth decay as well as gum disease.  Each of these items has a different solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tooth decay aspect of a pre-bedtime bottle feeding can be assuaged if the milk portion of the routine is simply moved so that it is prior to brushing your daughter's teeth, but there are other aspects to &lt;a href=&quot;http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/dangers-drinking-baby-bottle-long-6148.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;baby-bottle tooth&lt;/a&gt; decay such as a possible connection to childhood obesity (which makes a few other diseases such as diabetes more likely) as well.  For this reason, you are right when you suggest switching to water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mouth shape and tooth placement aspect is most likely due to prolonged sucking action and is also related to frequency of use as well as how long the baby uses the method.  Problems that arise alongside prolonged bottle use also arise with use of a pacifier so when it is time to rid baby of the bottle, it is also time to do away with the binky/paci.  Concerns about this are why there is such a debate over when baby should be weaned and how early/late is too early/late.  This is the reason to switch away from the bottle entirely and most recommendations are that it is time once the child is well into her twos (AAPD, UNICEF and others).  Again, see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/9363/2876&quot;&gt;the related question&lt;/a&gt; for more information as well as citations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I suggest making one change at a time.  Perhaps moving the milk into a sippy cup first is the easiest switch and then move it to earlier in the routine is the routine shortly there-after would be the easiest way to go.  Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-12-17T20:22:46.943" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10572" CreationDate="2013-12-17T17:30:48.267" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another cause of GERD can be a lip-tie or tongue-tie.  Check with your physician or a dental surgeon.  The extra skin can cause poor swallowing and lead to more GERD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fact sheet on &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.kiddsteeth.com/assets/pdfs/articles/ttfactssheet.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The significance of the tongue and lip ties and why you should consider correcting them February 2013&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5002" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-10T14:58:16.570" LastActivityDate="2018-05-10T14:58:16.570" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10727" CreationDate="2013-12-17T22:45:18.767" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since the reflex naturally fades as the baby approaches six months, and it is a reflex, there is nothing one can do to maintain the reflex.  It is not a learned behavior or even a consciously controlled behavior.  Additionally, the reflex alone does not keep kids safe, it is a reflex only and they can tire easily etc.  The dive reflex can keep them from choking if dipped underwater in brief stints, but if done for too long, or too quickly between dips, choking can still occur.  You also must be careful about baby not swallowing too much water while in the pool which can put their salt balance out of wack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, the American Academy of Pediatricians recommends against swimming lessons (for the purpose of learning to swim) until a child is age four, and suggests instead, parent &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; child water safety programs.  In these, a child is taught general pool/water safety, a few techniques to help keep them afloat long enough to get help if needed and just makes having fun &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; a trusted adult in and around the water so the child is comfortable with the water the goal. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/fun/activities/outdoor/teach-your-child-to-swim/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;(Ages and stages guide to pool play and safety by parent's magazine)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working with baby so that he or she will graduate from simple and primitive reflex to helping that child get to the edge of a pool, or float well enough to get help if needed, is possible.  Unfortunately, outside of having a pool, pond or other large body of water in which to practice (or at least very large bath-tub) availabe in order to work on these skills, I am aware of no way to teach your child swimming without actually exposing the child to opportunities to swim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please always keep safety around water and children your highest priority!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some resources you &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; find useful (I did not personally use some of these - we've done &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ymca.net/mommy-and-me-classes-have-lots-of-benefits&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;lessons at the YMCA&lt;/a&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.infantswim.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Infant Self Rescue - Surrvival swimming for babies&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://teachbabytoswim.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How to Teach a Child to Swim&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-true-that-babies-are-born-with-the-ability-to-swim-and_10313062.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;A brief summary of the swim and dive reflexes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-17T22:45:18.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10747" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-18T03:08:57.523" Score="3" ViewCount="253" Body="&lt;p&gt;I dont know how to say this but, well, I dont even know if I am asking this on the right website but, I am Jessica and I am 27 years old, and i got a son, Carl. He is only 6 years old and he is very innocent, but his father is teaching him how to use a gun! I dont even know how my husband has that gun but i love Carl and i cant let he know those things!! Well, my husband is aggressive, he already punched me and throwed me on the wall. Of course I ''fought'' back but he is too strong. He has been using drugs lately, that is an absurd! I try to protect my child but hell, I even went to the police to make an occurrence but they said they would do something about it but they DIDNT!!! Im desesperated please I love my son so much and i have this growing hatred in me that wants to kill my husband but I still love him! What should I do??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6290" LastActivityDate="2013-12-18T03:08:57.523" Title="What do I do with my husband?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2013-12-18T13:12:51.957" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10748" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-18T05:26:50.883" Score="23" ViewCount="2836" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's ten and mostly plays with the boys, fitting in well due to her easy-going nature, outstanding athleticism, strong sense of fair play, and wild and crazy sense of humor.  She's super competitive, one of the leaders of the pack in terms of ability, while still stopping to help the kids who need rules/strategies explained.  The problem is, from her point of view there's nothing on the other side of puberty to look forward to. The boys will be getting stronger; she will be getting breasts.  Not fair!  She's miserable about this and it hasn't even started yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since a large part of the community are also members of StackOverflow, I’ll try translating this question to mathematics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Say you are ten and you are good at math.  You're always looking things up on Khan Academy, you’re very competitive (Math Olympiad, anyone?), but you still help the non-math kids with their math homework.  You and your math friends go to math camp, are learning to program, have Raspberry Pi on your Christmas lists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently you found out that over the next four years, most of your friends’ math intelligence is going to get a four-fold boost.  Even some of the kids you help with math will get this boost.  You, on the other hand, will get a two-fold boost.  Plus, you are going to have a French accent whenever you talk about math.  Not an ugly French accent – it will be pleasant, but it will be noticeable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, how happy would you be if someone said to you, “That’s okay, you don’t have to be any less mathematical, just because everyone else is going to be better!  It’s not &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; about being the best.  While other kids are doing calculus or even multivariable calculus in a few  years, you can still have fun with trigonometry!  Or, why don’t you learn to cook?  You get to use math to measure things in cooking, right? Besides, don’t a lot of cooks have a French accent?”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can you say that is comforting but not patronizing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT, seven years later:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What happened:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter found the reality of being a girl wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be.  She remains better than 98% of the boys at her chosen sport, and she finds it hard enough to compete with the girls at the National level that competing with the boys is no longer a goal she worries about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL;DR:&#xA;Things continued fine until seventh grade.  Seventh and eighth grade were not great.  At lunch, she had always sat with the boys at the “baseball/soccer table,” but in seventh grade they started looking at pron on their phones during lunch.  They didn’t exclude her, but she was uncomfortable, so she found some boring girls to sit with (“boring” because they weren’t interested in sports, but at least this group wasn’t obsessing about boys and clothes and make-up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school part of her middle school experience remained enjoyable, but things got worse in the sports area.  Several of the boys got better than her at baseball, and the middle school baseball coach preferred giving playing time to the boys, even when they weren’t nearly as good as she, because “the boys are going to be the future of baseball at this school.” This naturally became a self-fulfilling prophecy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She switched schools for ninth grade and decided to try dressing like a girl.  Here’s where things got interesting, because in doing this, my competitive kid found a whole new area to be competitive in.  She found she enjoyed dressing to look good.  At least a third of the girls at the new school were as competitive at sports as she, so she made good female friends; the boys were more mature that those at her previous school, so she made good male friends. Breasts were not as problematic as she’d expected, partly because she’s so athletic that hers didn’t get too big.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, it worked out.  It’s still doesn't seem fair that guys can build muscle so much more easily than girls, but there are enough other things going on in her life that she really only notices that when she’s in the gym.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2020-09-19T17:05:10.410" LastActivityDate="2020-09-19T17:05:10.410" Title="How to help a tomboy not dread puberty" Tags="|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10748" CreationDate="2013-12-18T11:37:46.830" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why would becoming a woman mean that she can be any less athletic or outstanding? OK, boys will be getting physically stronger on average, that's nature. Challenge her to find new strengths rather than pure physical grunt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-12-18T11:37:46.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10748" CreationDate="2013-12-18T12:49:56.717" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, puberty and all the emotions that go with it, include trepidation for even the &quot;girly-girls.&quot;  The arrival of breasts is also highly troublesome for girls that do a lot of dancing (changes center of gravity and REALLY messes with spins and turns).  The whole thing has a lot of negatives for anyone that is choosing to look at it that way.  It might help her to know that even though she may be unique, her feelings aren't all that different from what some others are feeling too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, being an athletic girl, &lt;strong&gt;no longer really qualifies as being a &quot;tom boy&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;  There are plenty of very &quot;feminine women&quot; as well that are &lt;strong&gt;highly athletic&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;strong&gt;Instead of labels, start seeing your daughter as just being her wonderful, amazing and unique self.&lt;/strong&gt;  It is the very best way you can help her do the same for herself.  Your attitude and thoughts about such &quot;labels&quot; will come through in how you speak with her about things as well as your actions, even if you never use the label directly with her.  Labels like &quot;tom-boy&quot; are highly limiting because they tend to psychologically put the person that believes they are the label into a &quot;box.&quot;  Try thinking of her as a human being with a set of qualities - she is athletic as well as a few other things:  Highly intelligent?  Empathetic toward others?  Just and Fair?  Humerous?  I culled some of these qualities from your own question, so I understand you recognize them - but does your daughter?  Adolescents tend to put themselves in boxes where they think of themselves as &quot;fitting in&quot; and they need our help to be free of stereotypes and limitations.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;None of the qualities you listed in your question are strictly &quot;male.&quot;  Honor them as qualities rather than part of a label.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the next best things you can probably do for your daughter is to look for adult role models she can look to as examples of women that took their femininity and embraced it while also succeeding athletically (&lt;a href=&quot;http://espn.go.com/blog/high-school/girl/post/_/id/2471/40-greatest-female-athletes-mia-hamm&quot;&gt;ESPN's Top 40 female athletes&lt;/a&gt;).  What about the likes of Mia Hamm, Misty May Treanor, and Bonnie Blair?  Their breasts (and all that comes along with them) didn't get in their way - why should your daughters?  Start talking about them, watching biographical sketches and interviews, reading biographies . . . How did each of them use their femaleness to be better athletes and public figures at the same time.  She certainly isn't the first &quot;tomboy&quot; (if she must be labeled that way) to go through this and she won't be the last.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I seriously would like to stress taking a look at these women as feminists as well as athletes.  Try to look at the advancements women have and &lt;strong&gt;are&lt;/strong&gt; making in the world of sports. For example, check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://espn.go.com/espnw/news/article/6514843/women-pro-sports-women-knocking-baseball-door&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; about baseball and women in it today - in professional baseball.  &lt;strong&gt;Puberty does not mean the end and she needs reassurance that it doesn't mean the end for her&lt;/strong&gt;.  Yes, it is a fight, but check out this &lt;a href=&quot;http://w.espn.go.com/espnw/news/article/6514110/women-pro-sports-famous-female-firsts&quot;&gt;list of women's firsts in sports&lt;/a&gt; - everyone of them was up against nay-sayers that thought women weren't strong enough or focused enough, or (whatever) enough because they were women.  Don't teach her to buy into it!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Grandmother desperately wanted to play baseball and wasn't allowed to at all.  Instead of a ball and bat for her tenth birthday (what she wanted) she got a doll.  She tore its head off and used it as a ball and used the body for the bat so she could practice in secret.  In fact, you might even take a look at history and see how far we've come in general - let alone sports.  It used to be standard belief that men had mental advantages in terms of their workforce abilities and that was why women should be kept at home - bah!!  Make sure she knows who Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Sojourner Truth are (among others) and what they were up against (especially Sojourner Truth!).  &lt;strong&gt;Yes, there are biological advantages for the boys in terms of musculature - so what!  Maybe she is smarter and more driven - that matters too&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to friends - she can still hang with the guys (I did) there &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; a lot less drama with them.   While I wasn't passionate about sports, all my friends were guys (I think I had one girlfriend) and I can say from first experience that doesn't have to end either.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an exciting time for women in sports - get her excited about the prospects of being a part of it**!  Maybe she'll make a little history of her own while making things even better for all the girls to come after her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-20T13:15:49.237" LastActivityDate="2013-12-20T13:15:49.237" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10752" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-18T15:44:17.073" Score="1" ViewCount="49" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mom bought some toys from a woman with a very sick son. They had yet to find out what was wrong with him. The toys have sat in an unheated detached garage for more than 2 months. Will they be safe for an infant to play with? Some are electronic, so it is hard to get them completely sanitized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6293" LastEditorUserId="4069" LastEditDate="2013-12-18T20:06:06.600" LastActivityDate="2013-12-18T20:06:06.600" Title="How do you disinfect toys?" Tags="|toddler|toys|sickness|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2013-12-18T20:06:48.947" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10753" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10756" CreationDate="2013-12-18T17:54:13.223" Score="5" ViewCount="620" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8 year old son who is unbelievably shy and/or scared in new situations.  When he is at home, he is loud, confident and, yes, even a little out of control.  However, once he is presented with anything new, he becomes a small mute statue, even if the new situation is something he will enjoy (such as his first time at an amusement park).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, helping him gain confidence is going to be a long term process, so I'm wondering if there are any good activities or ideas that I can use to help him gain confidence in new situations as he grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4069" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T21:18:05.567" Title="What can I do to help my child have confidence when in new situations?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10753" CreationDate="2013-12-18T19:50:20.123" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to start small, and build up his confidence. Praise him for being brave, and don't punish him for being shy. Make sure you don't reward him for shyness. Talk to him, ask him what bothers him about new situations and ask him how he thinks he could gain confidence. Maybe he's thought about it. You could spend a great deal of time trying different things when a 10 minute conversation would give you a lot of insight. If he doesn't want to talk to you about it maybe he'll talk to another family member. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for activities there's no list of examples I would give, it depends on what he is confident in and what he is not. I'd start with activities which are just a bit out of his comfort zone, but have elements which he's used to. If he likes sports, do something related to the sports he plays or likes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-12-18T19:50:20.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10755" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10761" CreationDate="2013-12-18T20:23:26.070" Score="11" ViewCount="20602" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-year-old is starting to get chapped cheeks as winter approaches. Last year, his cheeks were red and seemed sore, so I tried rubbing lip balm (chap stick) on the cheeks to help him out. However, I recently read that lip balm will not provide much benefit for chapped cheeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's the best way to prevent or heal a toddler's chapped cheeks in winter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I live on the west coast of British Columbia, North America, in a temperate rain forest area, so although it's not very cold for most of the year, it can dip below freezing for weeks at a time in January and February, which is when the chapping seems to occur.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6294" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-12-19T20:48:00.187" LastActivityDate="2015-01-31T06:12:16.690" Title="How to prevent or heal chapped cheeks in a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10753" CreationDate="2013-12-18T20:47:47.213" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child doesn't see this as a problem, I actually don't see this as a problem at all.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may not be a confidence problem so much as he is a &quot;watcher.&quot;  I've known plenty of kids that need to have a couple of exposures to new people, places, or kinds of events before they seem comfortable.  These kids, just need a chance to get the lay of the land by watching what others do.  Once they know the expectations and &quot;rules&quot; of the new person, place or thing, they warm right up and know what they need to do to get along in the new environment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are advantages to opperating this way that include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;not facing the risks associated with rushing head-long into new&#xA;situations in a way that creates a dangerous situation for the child&#xA;or others.  Not as likely to walk off with a stranger ready to go looking for that strangers' dog, Dive into the pond where there are dangerous rocks just under the water. .  . its the risk takers that do these things - observers are generally not a kid that takes &lt;strong&gt;these types&lt;/strong&gt; of risks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These kids are less likely to get over-tired, over-filled with candy and other treats- or generally make themselves sick with too much excitement (at least in my experience).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whether child, or adult, someone that observes first, is better able to &quot;do what the Romans do - when in Rome.&quot;  They won't make as many social faux pas in new situations and might be more apt to ask questions and learn more about the new situation rather than just &quot;experimenting.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child who opperates as &quot;watcher&quot; or &quot;observer&quot; first, is also ready to be a good listener to family members/ significant others etc. when older because he/she has the skill to hold back and wait to hear/see/learn what the other person is really getting at before reacting (not directly related, but very similar skills and there does seem to be a relationship - again, in my experience).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said all that, there are things you can do to help the &quot;warming up period&quot; be a little shorter for him as he gets older.  Just be really careful to avoid pressuring or cajoling.  I highly suggest to any parent offering up your opinion about choices once, and then letting them make the choice (unless it is a safety or values thing that you must insist upon - if he isn't into going wild at the amusement park, introducing himself to a specific potential friend, and other similar events - I really think letting it go is the best bet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to be an observer yourself when you are with your child in a new situation together.  By this, I mean, Observe your child.  Don't compliment or suggest, but simply&#xA;notice things and ask about them afterward.  &quot;I noticed you and that&#xA;other boy smiling at each-other from across the field.  Would you&#xA;like me to see if I can help you get introduced?&quot;  If the answer is&#xA;no, accept it, if the answer is yes, go model how to introduce&#xA;oneself to a new person . . . Then you are helping with the social&#xA;skills needed, but allowing your child to be himself at the same&#xA;time.  Another example might be after you get home, &quot;Hey, I noticed&#xA;you tried some bigger roller coasters this time.  How did that feel?&quot;  By noticing, if he feels proud of having overcome a fear about something, he'll take it as a compliment.  If he feels like he could use a little help getting even further with something you've opened up the road for a conversation about it -he'll ask.  Or, if he didn't notice his own accomplishment you are calling his attention to it - without making such a big deal that it feels like it is too much or emmbarassing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can also &quot;preview&quot; predicatable new situations through books&lt;br&gt;&#xA;about said situation and role-play before hand.  If he knows the&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;rules&quot; a little better before, he may not need to observe for as&lt;br&gt;&#xA;long before he starts feeling more comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You said something in a convo in chat, about not wanting him to miss out on cool stuff over this and indicated you felt you had missed out on cool stuff because of a shier nature.  Tell him about it - not necessarily in a moment of decision (that just feels like pressure) but as a part of your family memory and story sharing.  Talk about cool experiences you &lt;strong&gt;did&lt;/strong&gt; have successfully despite being nervous and how you gathered the courage to go try it out.  Share with him about opportunities you had, didn't take, and wished you &lt;strong&gt;had&lt;/strong&gt; taken later.  Sharing stories about overcoming adversity and challenges with your kids is actually really good for them as it creates a unifying &quot;story&quot; of the family.  According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html?_r=1&amp;amp;&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;, such collections of family stories told and retold helps in building a family (and children) with a resiliant outlook (which actually helps confidence too - having a resiliant outlook) on life.  It also lets your child know you understand him and support him (as long as it isn't used to pressure him to do things he is uncomfortable doing) and gives him examples of what to do and what not to do in his own life if he decides to accept the lessons from your own challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2013-12-19T22:07:58.040" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T22:07:58.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10758" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-19T10:36:51.053" Score="2" ViewCount="199" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is it about lullabies that sooth a child to sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What characteristics in music should I look for when trying to find new lullabies to sing to my newborn?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2013-12-19T20:34:42.463" LastActivityDate="2017-07-02T08:20:57.323" Title="How can I find good lullabies for my child?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10758" CreationDate="2013-12-19T11:14:37.897" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;For mine, it wasn't the song, it was that I was the singer.  I chose from my favorites, so my kids got lots of Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday, but honestly, I could have sung Black Sabbath and they could've cared less, so long as it was sung in a quiet, soothing fashion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you need some specifics, there were several threads at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.metafilter.com/contribute/search.mefi?site=ask&amp;amp;q=lullabies&quot;&gt;HiveMind&lt;/a&gt; that I perused while looking for new things to sing to my kids at naps and bedtimes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T11:14:37.897" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10755" CreationDate="2013-12-19T13:27:13.577" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have the same issue. Our doctor told us to apply some fatty face cream, like vaseline. She insisted on the fatty part. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We normally do it in the morning and evening and the problem is much reduced, but it didn't go away completely. My kid still drools a fair amount in his sleep and I have the impression that this makes the problem worse. However if we miss even one application I'll notice that his cheeks get worse, so it is clearly helping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T13:27:13.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10758" CreationDate="2013-12-19T13:36:45.810" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pete Seeger says &quot;a lullaby is a work song, and should be sung by the luller.&quot; A &lt;em&gt;work song&lt;/em&gt; is a folk song whose rhythm helps people do a job, whether that's a bunch of people pulling up an anchor, or one person putting a baby to sleep. So the most important aspect of a lullaby is that you be willing to sing it. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.ca/Abiyoyo-Other-Story-Songs-Fo/dp/B000001DM6/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1387459967&amp;amp;sr=1-1&amp;amp;keywords=abiyoyo&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Abiyoyo&lt;/a&gt; is a great record with some lovely lullabies on it, but I can't sing them because I'm not that good. (In contrast, any child who asked Where Are My Pajamas? would find themselves in a song right quick.) We also had a Woody Guthrie album of children's songs that I can't find online that my kids loved to listen to as a way of exhausting themselves before bed, so they acted as lullabies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I enjoyed a record of mostly lullabies called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.ca/Lullaby-Berceuse-Warm-Prairie-Night/dp/B000FEA5O2&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Lullaby Berceuse&lt;/a&gt;, and sang many of those songs (by request) for years to my children. I also sang them Hobo's Lullaby, which I learned from an Arlo Guthrie record (I skipped the police verse) and Under African Skies from a Paul Simon record. Insipid &quot;go to sleep&quot; songs will make you mental. Songs with lines like &quot;things go right, things go wrong, ... you will grow up big and strong&quot; are less annoying to repeat a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find songs you like, especially if they're a little slow. You can always slow them down, I sing Hobo's Lullaby much slower than Arlo does. Enjoy singing them. If you're holding the baby, let the rhythm of the song guide your walking or rocking too. If you have a recording of the song, start by playing it, then singing along, then singing it alone. Later you may be able to just play it for the baby who will associate it with your singing. But you may find that an appreciative audience keeps you singing (happily) for a long time to come.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T13:36:45.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10753" CreationDate="2013-12-19T14:07:12.237" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children respond more to your attitude (your feelings) than you might be aware of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Obviously, helping him gain confidence is going to be a long term process,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't something you should be thinking of. You are pushing the &lt;em&gt;chance&lt;/em&gt; it is going to be a long term process towards that outcome. Focus on the &lt;em&gt;chance&lt;/em&gt; things change quickly for the better and have &lt;strong&gt;confidence&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But make sure that YOU (yourself, your ego and your drama) are not involved in deciding what is for the better. By that I mean: if this is his &lt;em&gt;process&lt;/em&gt; of growing up (building his own confidence), and there is nothing extraordinary for a child to be shy, and your case might not be extraordinary either, and he will get &lt;em&gt;there&lt;/em&gt; on his own, let him do this himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The less you are involved in the outcome, the more he did things himself, the more confidence he &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; have in himself, as he did it himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Literally, self-confidence is having confidence in yourself. If you guide him through things, you take away his chance of doing things himself. The part of him in the process lessens, and the possible self-confidence built up by him as a result lessens as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he requires it to be a long term process, because he needs to decide whether he can have confidence or not, than so it is. You can only help by showing him that you are confident in things yourself, so he can use that to conclude himself, that he can have confidence in whatever it is he is going to be confident of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4069" LastEditDate="2013-12-19T14:56:47.707" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T14:56:47.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10753" CreationDate="2013-12-19T15:24:52.993" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A phrase I used a lot was&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Being brave isn't about not being scared or nervous. It's about feeling like that but doing it anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many children (and adults) believe that people who act differently feel differently. That they are the only ones who feel a little nervous or self conscious. Telling them that others feel that way too but decide to act may unlock a door. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, do not tell children to ignore fear or try to force them to do something when they are really afraid. Eg the child at the top of the slide who wants to come back down the ladder. That fear may save their life in 15 or 20 years when they are afraid to get in a car with a friend who has had a few drinks. It's sometimes good to be afraid to go home to the apartment of a guy they just met in a bar, or afraid to go along with a scheme to cheat or steal being dreamed up by a colleague. Do you want them to hear you saying &quot;Don't be such a baby! Everyone's doing it!&quot; or &quot;You have good judgment. You'll do this when you're ready, I'm sure.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A pleasant side effect of letting him choose what to do and when to do it is that he should freeze less and do more. If it's up to him it's less pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T15:24:52.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10680" CreationDate="2013-12-19T21:38:38.090" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young children typically sleep longer than adults e.g. 12 hours of sleep is normal. Determine whether he has enough sleep e.g. he wakes up by himself in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check that your son is not awaken regularly awake by noise in your household or from outside. Also talk to your son about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others mentioned, health problems can also affect his sleeping. You might need to consult pediatrician or family doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6185" LastActivityDate="2013-12-19T21:38:38.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10769" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10770" CreationDate="2013-12-20T00:45:26.357" Score="11" ViewCount="433" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have little twins that aren't two years old. One of them I have no problem washing his hair; he even laughts when I dry it with the towel. His brother screams his lungs out every single day, every time I start washing his hair. And when the bath is over, drying the wet hair is another ...quest (he fights!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing the same thing for both, I don't know what I might be doing wrong, and as far as I recall it's always been a drama (reminds of very first bath at hospital... yeah, always been a drama). Any clues?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They both enjoy the water, they play with their toys in the bath; when it's over I grab the &quot;easy&quot; one first and while I put his diaper &amp;amp; PJ's on, the &quot;screamer&quot; is all angel-like, picks up the toys, drains them and puts them where they belong, and then he even pulls the plug and calmly waits for his turn... and when I pick him up and the fight for dry hair begins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I possibly do to stop fighting? &lt;em&gt;Not washing the hair&lt;/em&gt; is not an option...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6242" LastEditorUserId="6242" LastEditDate="2013-12-20T00:52:35.497" LastActivityDate="2014-03-04T03:50:52.763" Title="Don't touch my hair!" Tags="|bathing|hair|fighting|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10769" CreationDate="2013-12-20T02:27:11.493" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it drying by towel?  As a kid I hated having someone else wiping my face clean, it felt so invasive, demeaning and uncomfortable (and to be honest I think I just got used to fighting it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The washing... I don't know.  Maybe give him the option to do it himself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The towel might be a bit too vigorous for his taste (not an accusation! I'm sure you're gentle). Here are some thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I've seen head band towels, like an oversized cotton headband with loose elastic.  Would he be willing to just wear that like a hat for ten minutes?  Explain that it's an alternative, and he gets to choose the lesser evil. (I think it's a woman's beauty product, but don't tell him!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buzz cut the hair and let the drying situation subside, maybe in a few months he'll feel more comfortable with it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try patting the hair instead of rubbing it (if that's not already what you're doing).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;See a doctor if maybe he has a scalp condition that might be making the washing and hair drying process somewhat painful.  Is brushing the hair okay?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2013-12-26T02:59:16.420" LastActivityDate="2013-12-26T02:59:16.420" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10748" CreationDate="2013-12-20T12:14:27.410" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to be a bit like her. I was one of the fastest runners in my class, good at soccer, I liked to play with boys, hated dresses, dolls, makeup... I agree with you, she's up for a tough truth: that boys will often be able to outstip her in sports due to difference in muscle power. I think it's good that you recognize this as an important thing. I certainly remember feeling that it's unfair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot of course change this, but you can use it as a life lesson about looking for personal stregths. Another potential lesson in there is how to derive pleasure from competing with yourself, i.e. just seeing that your own potential is developing, regardless of what others are doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also possible to start her on some sport that values skill over strength, perhaps some martial art?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if she gets unhappy when her breasts start growing, I wouldnt force the gender issue much, but would instead insist how it's a sign that she's growing - getting more mature, which means she is also getting smarter, is able to be trusted with new things, soon to not need a babysitter anymore when at home, etc etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2013-12-20T12:14:27.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10769" CreationDate="2013-12-20T17:04:40.310" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our two-year-old has been the same way for the last year and a half. :-/  She likes splashing in the tub and washing the rest of herself, but really, really does not like having her hair washed (drying used to be almost as bad, but has gotten better since we started patting it gently instead of doing it the quicker normal/adult way).  I wish I had an answer for this myself, but just thought I'd share with you that it's not just something wrong with your child or something you're doing wrong.   Also, take it or leave it, but health-wise it's probably better to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; wash hair every single day.  It removes the natural oils and is generally not recommended.  For reference, we only wash our daughter's hair 1-2 times per week (the other night she still takes a bath but doesn't get her hair wet).  Just my two cents. :-)    Good luck (to us all)! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2419" LastActivityDate="2013-12-20T17:04:40.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10777" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10853" CreationDate="2013-12-21T01:08:00.700" Score="7" ViewCount="2307" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son refuses to blow his nose. Goo streams down his top lip, and he sniffs it up again if we don't catch it in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's a good way to encourage a two-year-old to blow their nose into a tissue or handkerchief?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6294" LastEditorUserId="6294" LastEditDate="2013-12-22T17:05:11.947" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T17:05:21.130" Title="What's a good way to encourage a toddler to blow their nose?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10778" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-21T01:41:12.907" Score="12" ViewCount="95135" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 3 years old and doesn't tell me when he needs to use the bathroom. It has been 5 months now that I took his diaper off him. I just do not know what I should do.  Should I put a diaper on him again?  I mean, is this normal? Please help. I get frustrated sometimes.  He doesn't want to potty at all! I did train him before but now that he understands, he doesn't want to go to potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6311" LastEditorUserId="1969" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T13:18:33.687" LastActivityDate="2020-05-03T16:54:31.987" Title="My 3 years old doesn't tell me when he needs to use the bathroom" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10778" CreationDate="2013-12-21T07:43:08.200" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing is that you let go of frustration. Let go of your expectations. It puts performance anxiety on your boy, and that will lessen the likelihood that he will notify you when its time to go to the bathroom/potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you take his diaper of, put him every now and then on the potty. Make it a routine, before going to bed, after he woke up, after he ate, before you will shower him, and a lot of other moments. And when he wets his pants, make sure you do not feel any frustration, and just put him on potty, though he might not have to pee/poo anymore. Just do that to make the anchor/link that those things are done at the potty. You do not have to particularly tell him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example. When I show you a blue card, and the moment you look at it I pinch you. The next time I will show you the blue card, its very likely you will expect me to pinch you. The more often I do that, the more integrated it becomes in your mind that that is just the chain of events. It works the same with potty training. He is learning to notice when he needs to go, and the next thing is that his mind reminds him of will become the potty, as that always comes next.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he does come at you, and has already wet his pants, make sure you feel natural or even pleased that he comes at you. If he would notice that you are frustrated or so, it becomes a barrier for him to come at you when he has already wet his pants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is easier than you might think. Be patient and have confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastActivityDate="2013-12-21T07:43:08.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8922" CreationDate="2013-12-21T15:52:30.523" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;What if you tried washing them on one HOT cycle instead? Perhaps with some baking soda or oxiclean with the detergent. It might solve all your problems! Never tried it, just a suggestion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6314" LastActivityDate="2013-12-21T15:52:30.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10778" CreationDate="2013-12-21T19:41:05.623" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to begin by welcoming you to the community and reassuring you that, yes, this is normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people are under the assumption that potty-training is something you do once and then it is done, but with most kids it doesn't really work that way.  They have to learn the basics about &lt;strong&gt;how&lt;/strong&gt; to use the potty.  Then they have to learn their body signals, along with a certain amount of &quot;planning ahead.&quot;  At some point, they go through it all again when it is time to be night-time potty trained.  &lt;strong&gt;Then&lt;/strong&gt; just when you think they've got it all down, they revert and need reminders because they are constantly distracted with play and other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your boy &lt;strong&gt;was&lt;/strong&gt; doing well before, but has suddenly reverted, chances are pretty good, he still knows what he is doing but is so distracted with a different new skill (like imaginary play, for example) that he forgets to pay attention to his body's signals when it is time to go.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10779/2876&quot;&gt;Mike de Klerk&lt;/a&gt; makes a wonderful suggestion when he says to &quot;make it routine.&quot; If you make stopping to attempt going potty every hour or so as well as anytime you transition from one activity to another, there will be few accidents and your son will start having success again - this is important for his confidence and security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make it fun, you can sing songs or tell stories while he is on the potty, have a few toys specifically for use while washing his hands afterward and make it special so it isn't such a drag to interupt his play for the potty.  Little boys have fun &quot;aiming&quot; at cheerios floating in the toilet - it makes it a bit of a game and helps them aim properly too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he does have accidents (because they will happen occasionally) I know it is hard not to be frustrated (so be frustrated, take a deep breath, count to ten - whatever you need to do for yourself), but again Mke de Klerk is right that &lt;strong&gt;if you let your son know how frustrated you are, your son might develop negative feelings with going potty&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do your best to help your son clean up but do ask that he be a part of the process with you.  You can be cheerful, &quot;oh darn, an accident - well, they do happen.&quot;  Make sure he stands in front of the toilet (or sits on it) so he has the opportunity to finish peeing.  Then say, &quot;Okay lets get you cleaned up.&quot;  Asking him to help with cleaning up is not about punishing him, it is just part of life and when we make a mess, the mess needs cleaning up, He can help use a towel to mop up any puddles, rinse the towel and his pants and then wash his hands thoroughly.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;IF&lt;/strong&gt; your son's accident happened because he refused to stop and go potty when you asked him to, I &lt;strong&gt;would&lt;/strong&gt; suggest taking your sweet time about getting him cleaned up.  Make it a LOOOOOOONG and BORRRRRRING process and point out that he could be back to playing again if he had taken a potty stop when you asked.  Enough times of this and he will make the connection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barring some physical disability, kids don't head off to highschool or college unable to use the potty, so remind yourself that this too, will pass.  Appreciate the journey you and your son are on together, and try to have some fun with it instead of allowing frustrations to build.  Make the bathroom a fun place to be (as best you can anyway) and use lots of reminders in order to prevent accidents from happening in the first place.  Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2013-12-21T19:41:05.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10782" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10792" CreationDate="2013-12-21T22:17:07.210" Score="6" ViewCount="427" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven-year old is tall, lean, looking and speaking like someone who is a few years her senior.  This means people (even those that know her actual age) often have higher expectations of her than they would if she looked and spoke her own age&amp;nbsp;— in terms of ability to sit still, and to move with awareness and grace.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, this is probably one of those areas where she may be a little &quot;behind the curve.&quot;  I think if she had to be in a &quot;regular&quot; classroom, I'd be getting suggestions to have her evaluated for ADHD.  She is constantly on the move, wiggles like crazy, and flits from one location to another (unless she is reading great fantasy fiction or historical fiction or non-fiction).  She even moves a lot in her sleep!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her ability to focus on many things at once (even her reading) is amazing, but her inability to zero in and focus on one specific thing as directed is questionable.  Her need to be on the move is also often more pronounced the later into the day it has gotten so things like award dinners etc. are troublesome (I call it shark mode&amp;nbsp;— you know, just keep moving and you won't succumb to sleep).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course we are working on awareness of her movements relative to the movements (or location) of others around her, she does attend classes where she works cooperatively and is expected to sit for short stints of time &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; there is a lot of &quot;stillness&quot; required at the theater where we work&amp;nbsp;— so she does get practice&amp;nbsp;— it is not as though I'm making excuses.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, today she broke some glass decorations because she was flitting about through the house.  Two days ago (it was late at night), while we gathered for hot cocoa after caroling, she decided it would be fun to crawl around under the table while the adults chit-chatted, and yesterday at her Tae Kwon Do end-of-year awards and honors ceremony, she thought it would be fun to run around while food was being served.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel I am constantly reminding her what type of movement is appropriate where and when.  To others, she often looks like the oldest member of the &quot;running around group&quot; and is sometimes reprimanded more harshly as though she should know better.  Since she is particularly sensitve as well, she has noticed this added harshness and that while other kids her age (and sometimes even older) are given a little bit more of a &quot;pass.&quot;  I am convinced the difference is because she looks so much older than she actually is.  Unless she is crazy tired (which I do my best to avoid), she is rarely the only child needing reminders.  If anyone had hints or suggestions to make reminders be required a little less often- &lt;strong&gt;especially in large group situations&lt;/strong&gt;—, I'd be much appreciative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-09T16:50:00.280" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T20:40:13.607" Title="Helping my Whirling Dervish to slow down" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10783" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10790" CreationDate="2013-12-22T02:04:51.427" Score="15" ViewCount="23265" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-year-old loves trains. He &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; loves trains, especially steam engines, like Thomas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many other parents have said that their boys love (or loved) trains, and I can remember being enamoured with &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivor_the_Engine&quot;&gt;Ivor the Engine&lt;/a&gt; as a boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do boys love trains and cars so much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6294" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2013-12-22T07:56:57.990" LastActivityDate="2018-10-29T12:48:00.700" Title="Why do toddler boys love trains and cars so much?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10783" CreationDate="2013-12-22T11:14:24.717" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way your question is worded implies that you see boys liking these toys but not girls. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Modern culture is the reason. There is absolutely no reason for kids not to like trains, and where cultural biases are not too strong, girls love trains and cars just as much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, children should enjoy toys that they can build multiple things from (eg Lego, Meccano, K-Nex etc) but also toys that move. These are all good stimulants for the brain, hand-eye coordination, planning etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My middle daughter loved trains, but all my kids love cars. To be fair, I do a lot of motor racing, and they probably got the bug from me, especially when they got their cadet karting licences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-12-22T11:14:24.717" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10785" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10786" CreationDate="2013-12-22T12:52:36.057" Score="3" ViewCount="10223" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 month old is having a horrible time with a cold currently.  He's been progressively producing a large amount of phlegm - now to the point that he's coughing almost continuously and having a hard time eating and sometimes breathing.  My spouse and I have tried steaming the bathroom with hot showers, as well as using humidifiers but it's not breaking up the mucus enough for him to effectively cough it up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a proper way to suction a baby's mouth with a bulb syringe?  Everything that I've searched for and read states that a baby can be suctioned via mouth or nose with a bulb syringe but all examples only show descriptions and steps of suctioning the nose, not the mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6256" LastActivityDate="2013-12-22T13:20:17.870" Title="Properly suctioning mouth of infant with bulb syringe" Tags="|infant|sickness|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10785" CreationDate="2013-12-22T13:20:17.870" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your description, suctioning the mouth is not what you need, in fact there are only a very few cases where it useful to suction the mouth at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Loosening the phlegm from the lungs/throat can be relatively straightforward. Steaming a room as you have been doing should help, but what worked for us was to have our baby lying gave down across my knees, head a little lower, and clapping or tapping her back. It doesn't need to be hard, but five minutes of this in the morning really makes a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the problem really persists, you could speak to your GP about the use of a nebulizer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-12-22T13:20:17.870" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10783" CreationDate="2013-12-22T19:43:03.180" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things you can move are more fun than things that don't move. Wheeled things are unpredictable, wheeled things on tracks somewhat less so. So young children like these things. And parents can encourage it, which makes them like it even more. And anything that is a miniature of the real world things they see (people, vehicles, scenery) or that is on TV also appeals to them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the gender aspect, here is a story my sister truly observed. There was some sort of playgroup / playdate / neighbourhood get together with a large pool of toys, some of which were new to some of the kids. She saw a boy giving a doll a ride in the back of a dump truck, and a parent of that boy commented to the air:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Only way you'll see &lt;strong&gt;my boy&lt;/strong&gt; with a doll! Drive it around in the truck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A short time later she saw a girl giving a doll a ride in the same truck, and another parent, who hadn't witnessed the first incident, remarked:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No matter how many toys there are in a place, &lt;strong&gt;my girl&lt;/strong&gt; goes for the dolls!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, why is it that boys like trucks and girls like dolls? Hm? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2013-12-22T19:43:03.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2013-12-22T20:04:03.517" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;i loved this book it worked great for all of our kids.  I must say, I was raised with forceful speech accompanying all request for compliance so it was difficult in the beginning for me to keep and even tone without emotion.  I realized that some kids misbehave to get an emotional  reaction from the parent.  When my daughter would scream while in time out, I just left the room or turned on the sweeper or turned up the radio, she really learned quickly that she was not going to get my goat by throwing fits because I just made myself scarce.  It took some getting use to but as I told my husband yelling or puffing up your chest to scare kids in to compliance will only work while they are smaller than you and if that's all you got, as soon as they're mid teens they would passed us up in stature, and we would be out of ammo, but luckily we had put 123 magic in place and size didn't come into the equation.  Once released from time out/buzzer rang, they would ask to get up and I soon taught them that they need not ask me, if they served their time they could get up and ran along. sometimes we would have a discussion about the offense, but most of the time we didn't or did at a later time they needed to know that I was doing my thing and they learned that their bad behavior was not going to take me off task, or away from enjoying the other children who were complying. Today I have 3 grown children, I can still raise one finger and they laugh that it still works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6320" LastActivityDate="2013-12-22T20:04:03.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10782" CreationDate="2013-12-23T00:43:18.473" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She may be craving sensory input. Our son has similar issues, his brain was just not wired to handle sensory input correctly. He would get overloaded by excessive noise (normal for a classroom) and seek sensory input to self-regulate himself - initially rolling on the floor, chewing things and walking around the class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started with an OT with lots of experience in sensory children and have spend over a year now following her recommendations to retrain his brain to be able to correctly handle his sensory requirements. In practice, this involves an exercise regime or heavy lifting, core body strength building, medium impact exercise (trampoline).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has taken a year and he is now able to control himself in class; he is like a different child. Every day, we spend about 20 minutes doing his exercises. He then gets chewing gum which he is allowed to use in class. During classes, the teacher gives him movement breaks to help his maintain concentration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've had an OT and a psychologist both say that he has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). However, developmental pediatrician saying there is no such thing as SPD and he simply has ADHD. That being said, the OT's course of action works for him and his symptoms don't square with ADHD so we're continuing with what works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I understand, you can't turn off ADHD. If you daughter can concentrate for extended periods by reading, ADHD may not be a good diagnosis. There is a dozen things with similar symptoms for example: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/28/opinion/sunday/diagnosing-the-wrong-deficit.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sleeping problems&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/adhd/50-conditions-that-mimic-adhd&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a whole bunch more&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be worth a google to see if the symptoms match your daughter's behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2013-12-23T00:43:18.473" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10783" CreationDate="2013-12-23T01:51:08.170" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids are hardwired to figure out who they are and how they fit in, and by an early age they have figured out gender and what that means - it's one of the first layers of identity. Studies have shown that even when the parents have very liberal gender views, kids still see past that to the wider societal view. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not convinced, personally, that this is a huge problem. Children conceptualize very broadly when they are young, and as they mature, they begin to see individual differences. As long as parents are very open to individual differences as their child develops, that early understanding should not be prescriptive of how they &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; behave, while it will alert them to areas of difficulty they will encounter if they don't conform to norms. This may help them protect themselves from ridicule as they explore identity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A recent study about gender and toy preference determined that even when parents thought they were not influencing their children's toy choices, the children identified toys by &quot;gender&quot; as ones their parents would approve of or not. Here's an excerpt from the study:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Young Children’s Construction of Gender&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children construct their understandings of gender at an early age. By&#xA;  about 24 months they begin to define themselves as ‘‘girls’’ or&#xA;  ‘‘boys’’ (Kohlberg, 1966; Kohlberg &amp;amp; Ullian, 1974; Sandnabba &amp;amp;&#xA;  Ahlberg, 1999). And they are apt to have rigid definitions of how&#xA;  girls and boys should behave by the age of five (Martin &amp;amp; Ruble,&#xA;  2004). The acquisition of these gender stereotypes demonstrates that&#xA;  children are very effective students of culture. They quickly learn to&#xA;  categorize ‘‘girl toys’’ and ‘‘boy toys’’ in socially acceptable ways&#xA;  and to behave as they think they ‘‘should’’ (Raag &amp;amp; Rackliff, 1998;&#xA;  Powlishta, Serbin, &amp;amp; Moller, 1993). Preschoolers have been shown, for&#xA;  example, to reliably apply gender stereotypes when responding to&#xA;  questions about how their parents, teachers or babysitters, peers, and&#xA;  siblings would want them to play. Girls know they are expected to play&#xA;  with dish sets and baby dolls and boys know tools, trucks, and cars&#xA;  are for them (Raag &amp;amp; Rackliff, 1998).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The authors of some studies have noted that society’s definition of&#xA;  what is feminine has expanded since the launch of the women’s movement&#xA;  in the early 1970s, but the definition of masculinity has not been&#xA;  similarly revised (Fagot &amp;amp; Littman, 1975). This line of inquiry has&#xA;  documented that while the current generation of girls is more likely&#xA;  to be encouraged to do things that were once considered masculine than&#xA;  were their mothers, the past 20 years has seen both children and&#xA;  adults narrow their definitions of appropriate behavior for boys&#xA;  (Burge, 1981; Cahill &amp;amp; Adams, 1997; Fisher-Thompson, 1990; Martin,&#xA;  1990; Moulton &amp;amp; Adams-Price, 1997; Turner &amp;amp; Gervai, 1995). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How are Children’s Cross-Gender Behaviors Perceived?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Researchers who describe adults’ and children’s typical responses to&#xA;  cross-gender play consistently report that boys who engage in ‘‘girls’&#xA;  games’’ are more likely to be criticized by parents, teachers and&#xA;  peers than are girls who enjoy activities and materials labeled as&#xA;  ‘‘for boys’’ (Cahill &amp;amp; Adams, 1997; Martin, 1990; Martin, 1995;&#xA;  Martin, Wood, &amp;amp; Little, 1990). These results have been interpreted as&#xA;  evidence that adults share concerns that boys who exhibit cross-gender&#xA;  behaviors will become increasingly feminine, but believe that girls&#xA;  will outgrow their ‘‘tomboyishness’’ and will become as feminine as&#xA;  their ‘‘typical’’ female peers (Sandnabba &amp;amp; Ahlberg, 1999). It has&#xA;  been documented, moreover, that fathers often more rigidly impose sex&#xA;  role expectations on their sons than on their daughters, and that they&#xA;  are less flexible in their definitions of gender appropriate behaviors&#xA;  than are boys’ mothers (Burge, 1981).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Freeman, Nancy. &quot;Preschoolers’ Perceptions Of Gender Appropriate Toys And Their Parents’ Beliefs About Genderized Behaviors: Miscommunication, Mixed Messages, Or Hidden Truths?&quot; &lt;em&gt;Early Childhood Education Journal&lt;/em&gt; 34.5 (2007): 357-366. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Dec. 2013.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-12-23T01:51:08.170" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10791" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-23T03:18:13.890" Score="8" ViewCount="1028" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most kids my son's age (six) seem to have a degree of natural self-consciousness that helps them regulate their behavior.  By this, I mean when they are in an unfamiliar situation, they tend to hang back and observe, taking their cues from other people to determine how to behave.  It's sort of a mild fear of not blending with the crowd.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has absolutely none of that fear.  You might consider that to be a good thing, but the fear serves an adaptive purpose, and one extreme is as bad as another.  It makes him frequently do crazy things in inappropriate situations (he's the kid who yells &quot;Hi&quot; to his parents from the stage then starts entertaining himself with a loud game), which makes other kids tend to shun him out of fear of getting in trouble, and makes other parents wary of letting their kids spend time with him.  In other words, it's affecting him socially, which is very hard for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also means we are constantly correcting him, because it plain doesn't occur to him that something like making repeated loud funny noises with your chair when your sunday school class is about to perform a song would be inappropriate.  I try to explicitly tell him the social rules for a new situation, which helps, but only for a short while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything we can do to help him learn to respond appropriately in these situations, without explicitly being told then constantly corrected?  The only thing I can think of is more practice, but honestly, it's getting to the point where his behavior makes me not want to let him participate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-01-08T08:11:51.467" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T08:11:51.467" Title="How can self-consciousness be taught?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10782" CreationDate="2013-12-23T12:23:32.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try adding more sports to her day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is also high energy.  Can read for hours, build Legos or draw for long periods of time; but when she's not doing these engaging things, she has to MOVE.  If she has not done enough sports that day she will literally bounce off the walls (run to one wall, bounce herself off it, run to the counter, etc.).  Telling her to stop works for 30 seconds, but then she starts again.  She fiddles with things constantly.  (Sitting at the table, she'll unconsciously pick up a pen and start running it along the seam of the table.  Or absentmindedly start flipping the milk cap, until it goes spinning off the cereal box onto the floor.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is Tai Kwon Do your daughter's only sport?  I would suggest it is not enough -- if she's as high energy as mine, she could do more.   At seven mine could go from two hours of soccer (game followed by skills practice), to a hockey game, to a baseball game without even slowing down.  (No -- I correct myself: when we got the baseball field that day, she actually sat calmly on the bench for the first ten minutes, instead of bouncing off her buddies and climbing the chain link fence.  She then pitched an almost perfect inning.)  If you add a running sport (soccer, lacrosse, hockey, running) -- or maybe even two running sports -- this will help your daughter with her &quot;need to be on the move,&quot; the &quot;gross motor energy,&quot; if you will.  It really will &quot;get it out of her system.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what I call &quot;the fiddling&quot; you could get a couple of those plastic balls kids use to develop hand strength.  My daughter has one at school and one in the kitchen -- when she starts absentmindedly poking with a knife at the table, I'll take the knife away and hand her the ball.  Or teach her to knit (though you might have to wait until she's eight for this not to be too frustrating) or to use gimp, so she can be doing that while she has to sit quietly -- which you should &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; expect her to be able to do if she's had her sports already that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;New&lt;/strong&gt;:  Since you've added more detail (about the large groups), I take it that it happened again, so...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing you can try is bring a pack of Uno and/or Skip-bo with you everywhere and hand them to her whenever she's with a group of kids with no organized activities.  The first time my kid's hockey team went out to dinner together after a game, they ended up chasing each other around the restaurant (they were 6, 7, and 8 years old).  The second time I brought both games, and they all stayed at the table, happy and involved, until the food came over an hour later.  After that, I made sure I always had at least one pack in my purse or car, for &quot;emergencies&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2014-01-09T17:40:03.300" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T17:40:03.300" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10791" CreationDate="2013-12-23T17:20:25.383" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say, Don’t try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it’s great that he has no fear of &lt;em&gt;what other people think of him&lt;/em&gt;.  Inconvenient right now, but great for later.  You want him to behave considerately because it's the right thing to do, not because others will judge him poorly if he doesn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(It's partly the difference between raising a follower and raising a leader. A kid who worries about what the other kids think/always tries to do what the other kids are doing may stand in line quietly when waiting to go on stage; but when a group of his friends start to taunt a new kid because he has a weird name, do you want a kid who joins in, or one who says, &quot;Knock it off! How would you like if it you had a name like that and everyone made fun of you?&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the problem is he needs to learn to take into consideration how his behavior will make &lt;em&gt;other people feel&lt;/em&gt;.  Knowing  the social rules is a good start -- I am a strong believer in explicitly telling kids these -- but he also needs to know how people will feel if he breaks them.  And, since he might not always have you to explain the rules, he needs to learn to consider beforehand what effect(s) a particular behavior will have on others and for himself.  (E.g., tell him it  would be unkind to others to makes noises on stage -- the other kids and their parents and the teacher will feel sad.  And that will make them not want to play with him in the future).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, he’s a little young to be able to do this well.    So you’re going to have to compensate.  For now try to sign him up for things where he will be less bored (who wouldn’t be, waiting for their turn to sing?), so he doesn’t have to exhibit so much self-control.  Where you still want him signed up for things that will be problematical, arrange beforehand what to do when he causes a problem.  Have someone ready to whisk him off the stage.  Be matter-of-fact; don’t treat it like a punishment (for now, anyway – when he’s older, you’ll need to expect more of him), but you need to be fair to the other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help with his empathy, if you can find places where disruption causes him to be disappointed, point them out.  If he’s watching a DVD and the picture goes fuzzy, point out that his disappointment is just like that of the parents watching their kids on stage when he disprupts things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk about what kind of behavior makes a good friend.  (A good friend is kind, a good friend shares, a good friend takes turns, a good friend says &quot;That's too bad!&quot; when something sad happens to you...) Point it out when someone does something kind (or mean!), and ask him how it made him feel; and how he would have felt if the child had said/done &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; instead.  And ask if he thought kids would like to be friends with a kid like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was three, she had a friend who would say with joy, &quot;Hey, 'Jane' won!&quot; when she won a game they were playing.  (Jane is not her real name.)  I pointed this out to my daughter, asking how she felt when he said that, and saying how much I admired this boy's generous spirit.  (I had to define generous.)  My daughter is extremely competitive, so it took her several weeks to process this, but finally she figured that this boy was &lt;em&gt;her friend&lt;/em&gt;, and she should feel happy when &lt;em&gt;her friend&lt;/em&gt; won a game.  And now she does.  She's happier when she wins, of course, but she always displays good sportsmanship, and the other kids enjoy playing with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And help your son learn to apologize when he makes a mistake.  Adult will forgive a lot from a kid when they can tell the kid is learning.  Kids are less forgiving, but have shorter memories.  If he can replace a bad experience with a good one, he can still redeem himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2014-01-07T03:30:12.253" LastActivityDate="2014-01-07T03:30:12.253" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10794" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-23T20:35:26.570" Score="2" ViewCount="1022" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid turned 6 months old on 17th Decemeber 2013.&#xA;I have failed to make her eat any solid foods properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't want to eat with spoon.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She doesn't like plain lentils.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She doesn't like &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aaramshop.com/product-detail/nestle-cerelac-wheat-stage-1?gclid=CJa01P2Xx7sCFbBV4godUCcA4g&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Cerelac&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She likes to suck from the bottle and she happily sucks formula.&#xA;Cerelac is sweet so she should like that too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Where am I going wrong? Is there any particular method of making the infant eat?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;How much should I expect the infant to eat throughout the day?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T00:16:22.223" Title="How to successfully start the infant on semi solid foods?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10794" CreationDate="2013-12-24T00:16:22.223" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Plain lentils sounds pretty boring.&#xA;We tried fresh fruit: mango, watermelon, kiwi fruit and banana – cut into pieces that she could hold in her hand. We allowed her to taste the food, but never required that she actually ate any. We had a constant watch on her, just in case she choked, and she sometimes did, but eventually she got the hang of eating. We never fed our girl mush, just proper food, and she ate what she wanted. This all started at 5 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The approach is called &lt;strong&gt;baby-lead weaning&lt;/strong&gt; and it works wonders. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast to what you seem to be trying to do, we never gave her mush, we gave her tasty food, and we never required her to eat it. She ate when she wanted to – she was breastfeeding the whole time to get the required nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A consequence of the whole process is that our daughter is a pretty good eater – she was really good for a while, but recently became picky, but not as bad as other kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T00:16:22.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10791" CreationDate="2013-12-24T01:21:38.207" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Attention seeker&quot; comes to mind.  Kid's that do it don't even realize they're doing it... but deep down any attention, good or bad is attention.  Sure good attention is better, but it's harder to get too.  I understand the dilemma, taking him out of Sunday school could even be perceived as a reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the sort of high confidence he seems to have, it sounds like he's taking the shotgun approach.  Just act out and see who appreciates it, in a crowd there's bound to be somebody.  The goofing around was probably funny the first time, surely a few kids laughed.  Most kids that age have little concept of &quot;don't smoke the joke&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short answer is give minimal attention to negative behavior.  If you punish, make it swift and don't let the topic continue (avoid re-telling the story in front of him, to your spouse, other family members, friends, teachers).  You can also note the long term effects; you mentioned that other kids shun him; does he notice this? does it bother him? (hopefully, it can be the spark that he actually wants to control himself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important thing that kids can learn is that there's a time and place for things.  Does he have an outlet for acting out?  School plays sound like just the place.  Gymnastics, music and any sort of performing arts help get that attention seeker the good attention.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be very very careful though... fun things will be seen as a reward, so it must NOT be in response to the poor behavior.  Rather, introduce it independently (whatever you do, don't let him know you're looking for an outlet!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Super hero movies offer good role models.  The favorite hero is usually in situations where they must control them selves; Superman wants to be a normal person so he must hide his strength and energy until it's time to use the suit.  His boss is mean to him, his colleges tease him, but he still wants to help them.  He waits for the time and place, and in the meantime tries very hard to do a good job, even though it's probably boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T01:21:38.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10797" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-24T01:30:47.970" Score="8" ViewCount="25384" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, so my daughter is 11 years old and still believes in Santa Claus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normally, I would be okay with her believing for another year or two, but the past Christmas or two her belief of Santa is causing her to look at Christmas and her father and I a different way. For Christmas in our house, my husband and I generally get a lot of good presents, but we save the big, great, expensive parents for Santa to give to her. Lately, our finances haven't been what they normally are, so we usually can only get one or two really good presents for our kids (our other daughter is 18). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last Christmas, our daughter saw the obvious lack of presents under the tree before Christmas and got very upset, and that was because we got her tickets to a Justin Bieber concert for her and 2 of her friends and of course myself to chaperone (which cost a little under 2,000 dollars). On Christmas, upon getting the tickets from &quot;Santa&quot;, she wasn't very happy, because she said she wished Santa had gotten her 3 or 4 more tickets for more of her friends.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The same thing roughly happened the year before, and it is happening again this year. I don't want her to think we are doing a bad job of being parents, and I think Christmas makes her quite selfish as &quot;Santa&quot; doesn't have to worry about money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I tell her, and how?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6327" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2013-12-24T15:21:15.567" LastActivityDate="2014-12-02T04:49:13.150" Title="Should I tell my 11-year-old daughter that Santa isn't real?" Tags="|presents|christmas|santa|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10797" CreationDate="2013-12-24T01:55:35.087" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our approach with the tooth fairy was always to explain that if the tooth fairy had a lot of kids in one night, you might get less, and sometimes you would get skipped altogether until the next night (this because we could never remember how much we gave the time before, and sometimes we would forget altogether!). You could try that approach - &quot;Some years Santa has a lot more children who are good and deserving, so that means all the children get a little less. Isn't it wonderful that Santa makes sure he never misses anyone?&quot; This could be followed by a bit of loose math showing how valuable the tickets are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is on the brink of figuring this it on her own, however, so you might approach the truth gently by asking her how she thinks that Santa gets to all the children on one night - then explain that he has parent helpers. Parents actually put the presents under the tree. When she thinks about it a little bit, she will realize that parents pay for those presents too. And from there she will extrapolate the truth that Santa is something that parents all over the world pretend about in order to make Christmas seem magical for their children. Now that she knows about Santa, she will get to be like the adults and help make Santa magic for other younger children she knows. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a rite of passage, and there is some disappointment involved as their are with all rites of passage, but post-Santa, children get to &quot;negotiate&quot; over Christmas to a degree. You can ask them their preferences and give them choices, which feels more grown up to them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T01:55:35.087" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10797" CreationDate="2013-12-24T09:25:40.607" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is unlikely that she actually believes in Santa, it's possible that she's using Santa as a way to express her feelings indirectly. By saying Santa is not giving her the presents she wants she avoids talking about it in a confrontation with you. My 11 most kids have figured out that Santa is their parents, you'll probably find the ones maintaining the fiction are you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many children want more than they actually get for Christmas, it doesn't matter if you spend twenty or twenty thousand. It's not the belief in Santa you need to tackle, it's the expectation that everything that is desired will be under the tree. You need to explain that she is not going to get everything she wants, whenever she wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how to tackle it, be honest, that's all. You don't have to bludgeon her with it, but don't sugar coat it either. Point out that her parents work in order to make money, some of which goes into buying present for her, and that there's only so much of it, so she should be grateful for what she gets. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T09:25:40.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8552" CreationDate="2013-12-24T12:20:31.320" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The mum of this child blames my son such as stating that he should learn to assert and defend himself.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  (...)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  This is why I suggested to my son that he should gently hold the girl’s hand and firmly say “NO”/“STOP”. My friend is not happy with this and has told him to stop it as this then violates her daughter’s bodily boundaries (...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then what on earth does she mean by &quot;learning to assert and defend himself&quot;? And how does getting hit respect your son's bodily boundaries?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be wrong to do so, and you should be proud of your son for not having done so, but I wonder how it would go over if you just stated that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;It is just a normal part of the development when a child is &lt;del&gt;2&lt;/del&gt; 7 to hit back when hit.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She surely can't expect your &lt;em&gt;son&lt;/em&gt; to use the Conscious and Peaceful Parenting Approach towards her daughter?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This is not peaceful, this is permissive to the point of not &lt;del&gt;giving a &lt;strong&gt;*beep*&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/del&gt; caring. No matter what approach to parenting is taken, it is a parent's duty to correct &amp;mdash; not &lt;em&gt;discipline&lt;/em&gt;, but correct &amp;mdash; their child's behaviour when necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; duty as a parent to protect your son. Take anything away from the girl that she's hitting your son with. Take measures to prevent her from getting her hands on stuff to break or hit with.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;And if even the most basic non-violent methods of correcting or restraining that girl are not permitted, give your son the option to &lt;em&gt;disengage&lt;/em&gt;. He doesn't have to play with her if he doesn't want to. Allow him to go play somewhere where she can't reach him. If you're at your friend's place, be prepared to cut the visit short and go home.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You berate your friend for not correcting her daughter, but you are doing your son a disservice as well. Your son should know that his parents &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; protect him and support him when tries to resolve a situation. You should stand up for your son and tell your friend that her daughter's behaviour is not acceptable and that you will not be visiting her again with your son, until that behaviour is corrected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-02-12T07:45:30.543" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T07:45:30.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10698" CreationDate="2013-12-24T13:55:34.767" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did something very similar, but additionally (while being right there) let our eldest reach out quite far towards the fire until he went &quot;Ow, hot hot hot.&quot; This was still a good few inches away, but he never went close to a fire again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving that element of controlled danger can embed a caution response quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T13:55:34.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10802" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10807" CreationDate="2013-12-24T15:15:49.683" Score="10" ViewCount="1602" Body="&lt;p&gt;On Thanksgiving my baby girl took her first two steps by herself. When this happened the six people that were around her at the time, including myself, flipped out and started clapping and got really excited and praised her for such a good job. This was probably at an extreme kind of level. You could tell it startled her and she has been unable to do it since. She has actually digressed backwards now in a bad kind of way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She REFUSES to try to even stand on her own&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her walking has gotten much worse and she is really wobbly now&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can tell she is afraid to walk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She trust full heartedly that someone will be there to catch her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People have mentioned that she seems scared when trying to walk now as well. She can walk pretty much fine as long as she is holding onto a finger or something else connected to us. Once we break the connection she then throws her body backwards head first like she is trying to do a backwards rainbow lol. Its adorable but obviously very dangerous and makes it very hard to even practice with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was wondering if any of you have experienced this and have any advise on how I can get her back on her feet and not so scared? We really thought she would be walking by Christmas by how well she WAS doing, but now.. it seems she is only getting worse :/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Follow up&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of commenting on each answer I'll give a general on here. First, I want to say thanks for the support and reassurance that I/we didn't damage her. As far as walking, she has a &quot;cage&quot; one of those colorful gates that go around in a circle. She spends a lot of time in there walking around in circles, at times she even stands without holding anything while she moves her hands to the next section. I also walk with her every day all around the house, she holds my finger and once she has that comfort she just about runs around the house with little assistance from my finger. It seems to really depend on what shoes she is wearing, if any at all, how well she can walk. It's like I believe she could really walk without holding anything if she would just try, but instead, like mentioned above, she immediately throws herself backwards or sits down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried having mommy in front of me with a toy she really likes to entice her to come but she will hold onto what she can stretch as far as she can but refuses to let go lol. The walker helped a lot but I also feel it kind of messed up her idea of walking as well. She is always trying to walk by pushing forward on her tippy toes which is cute but not effective when really trying to walk. We also have a large cube that she stands up and plays with while holding on but perhaps I will try one of those play tables, they sound like a good idea either way. Again, thanks for all the feedback!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Follow Up #2&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;She has started walking about 3 weeks ago. She just decided one day it was time and started getting up on her own and wobbling around. Now she is running around the house, especially when she has something she shouldn't! lol. Thanks for the support :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastEditorUserId="3393" LastEditDate="2014-03-17T19:41:46.393" LastActivityDate="2014-03-17T19:41:46.393" Title="16mo still not walking, I think it's my fault?" Tags="|toddler|walking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4032" CreationDate="2013-12-24T18:18:42.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put the kid behind the driver. That way, the person riding shotgun can easily reach it, while it is out of reach and out of sight for the driver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also be advised that they need to get out of the car as often as you do. If it's not too cold, bring a blanket for your kid to lie / crawl on when you make a stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T18:18:42.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6274" CreationDate="2013-12-24T21:18:03.330" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this probably isn't the answer you are looking for, and perhaps I should even be asking the same question. My first 2 had no mouthing issues but my current baby puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. The best way I have found to prevent this is the good old pacifier. I see her sticking something else in her mouth and I replace it with something I am more comfortable with her having there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastActivityDate="2013-12-24T21:18:03.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10802" CreationDate="2013-12-25T04:24:00.047" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may have tried this already... get some toys/games that require her to stand up in order to play with them. One example would be a &quot;music table&quot; which has different buttons to push, levers to pull and things to spin around, each causing the toy to make different sounds and/or play music. In order to access each individual gizmo, she'll have to walk around to all four sides of the table. She'll have the security of being able to hold on to the table for balance but she'll also be spending a lot of time on her feet, getting more and more comfortable as she walks around it. I believe that a table like I just described accelerated my son's development in terms of learning how to walk. He actually took his first unassisted steps while playing with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really a great toy all-around, too... lots of colors and things she can manipulate which react by making sounds/music. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what, just remember that she will eventually walk. And your reaction to those steps she took around thanksgiving was the exact same reaction that many of us have at these kinds of milestones. The first time my little boy got himself to roll over, he was surrounded by a circle of almost 10 people, all cheering him on... when he finally pulled it off, it was absolute pandemonium. You didn't do anything wrong!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6329" LastActivityDate="2013-12-25T04:24:00.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10802" CreationDate="2013-12-25T22:07:14.747" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes maybe she got scared by you guys but her determination to learn will push her to walk. When you see her trying to walk - hold her, stand her up in front of your legs and walk with her. It does take a lot of time to encourage a baby to walk. Try a walker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my kids did not like the walker so i had to use a long stick with a small branch on the side that she used to hold on to as she walked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also beware of low tables like coffee tables. I have seen many baby accidents involving coffee tables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6067" LastActivityDate="2013-12-25T22:07:14.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10797" CreationDate="2013-12-25T23:31:04.727" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;To cover your tracks...don't. Just say sorry. Or if you want to tell the trurh tell her in a way of confessing for lying or covering for Santa. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she asks again the truth about Santa: Tell her that it is a belief. And like any belief it is not meant to proven. Like going to the north pole. Just belief and get into the holiday spirit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is okay for her to believe in Santa since she is still a kid (7-13 yrs old) because pys' say that it is hard for kids to tell what is real. They will figure out what is real and what is true on their own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always told kids Santa Claus is based out of a story book and film. And that Santa is make belief. I encouraged and supported my kids about Santa as much i could with out lying to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6067" LastActivityDate="2013-12-25T23:31:04.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10813" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-26T04:20:14.510" Score="8" ViewCount="3690" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently became involved with this awesome guy who has two kids. His son who is 3 is a very sweet boy. But when we take car rides and he wakes up while in the car he is hysterical. I've heard of kids waking up scared but normally a few comforting words and the kids ok. With him he gets worse and won't go back to sleep. He will also kick and scream and hit anything nearby till we stop and take him out. It's bad. And it only happens if he wakes up in the car. Any advise??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6333" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-01-08T08:11:57.577" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T21:32:18.607" Title="Kid screaming after waking up in a car?" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10813" CreationDate="2013-12-26T08:30:33.763" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Communication is always a good step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This one seems pretty broad, but a 3 year old is old enough to explain what they don't like.  Take some time at dinner, or night time talk to discuss what happened in the car.  Was he scared, needed to pee, too hot, bad dream, didn't like where he was being taken?  If he doesn't want to talk about it, leave it alone immediately and change the subject to something fun. (come back later from a different angle).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it a hysterical with fear, or anger, or neither?  At another time, try just asking what his fears and angers might be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm suspicious of being too hot, it's winter time now.  Do you have him in lots of clothes and forget to notice that everyone else in the car has unzipped, but he was left sleeping.  And maybe having a dream that gets him worked up in a sweat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastActivityDate="2013-12-26T08:30:33.763" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10797" CreationDate="2013-12-26T21:27:33.140" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know I am probably a bit late on the uptake here - responding the day after Christmas - however, I felt I had a slightly different take on this one than the answers already offered.  I am inclined to agree with GdD in that I suspect your daughter either knows and is using St. Nick as a way to manipulate - or at least she is suspicious and is saying the things you are concerned about to test you (and Santa) by judging the reactions you offer.  I also agree that speaking with your daughter head-on about her feelings about the smaller pile of gifts under the tree is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I don't believe your problem is really one about Santa Claus.  It seems to me, when you say things like, &quot;Last Christmas, our daughter saw the obvious lack of presents under the tree before Christmas and got very upset&quot;  and, &quot;I think Christmas makes her quite selfish.&quot;  It sounds as if your true concern is about pleasing your daughter in the area of gifts and balancing that with her desire for more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether your daughter believes the gifts come from Santa, or from you is truly irrelevant here.  Instead, you may find it helpful to focus on appreciation for what one has/is given both for you and for your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child really does still believe in Santa, It might be more helpful to say something like, &quot;Part of being a kid that stays on the 'good' list includes being grateful for what one is given.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of her beliefs about Santa, maybe doing some charity work this year as a way to lead up to next year, will help make next year one taken with more perspective on the part of your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a list of &lt;a href=&quot;http://becomingaradiologist.org/100-charitable-activities-you-can-do-with-your-family/&quot;&gt;100 Charitable Activities you can do with your family&lt;/a&gt; in case you need to find something you can go do together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2013-12-26T21:27:33.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10816" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-26T21:46:44.887" Score="0" ViewCount="237" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a parent, how do we best control the content of the ENTIRE household's Internet in a &lt;strong&gt;centralized&lt;/strong&gt; manner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This settings of parent controls for individual network-based devices is &lt;strong&gt;maddening&lt;/strong&gt; and often incomplete in terms of time-limit and content-limit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6337" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T00:09:14.703" Title="Parental Control for Internet?" Tags="|safety|age-appropriate|video-games|play-time|computer|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2013-12-27T10:17:30.900" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10813" CreationDate="2013-12-26T21:57:34.220" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A key thing I note: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He does get mad if he's touched by any other kids when he is in this&#xA;  wake up stage and will hit them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So touch and waking up are triggers.  Does he have sensory issues with clothes in general?  If touch and waking up are a bad combination, I can see how being strapped in a car seat can be nightmarish for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How is he when he wakes up in a crib or his toddler bed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as what to do about it, I would try lots of encouragement with the best distraction you can come up with.  A favorite toy or I'd even resort to TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1431" LastEditorUserId="1431" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T19:23:35.343" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T19:23:35.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10769" CreationDate="2013-12-26T23:40:28.637" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter initially didn't like getting her hair washed. It &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; rather invasive, like Michael said, but washing your hair is just a necessity of social standards. What I started to do was warn her. I'd let her know beforehand &quot;I'm going to wash your head soon&quot;. At the same time I'd show her the shampoo and prep a wet washcloth just in case soap got into her eyes. Eventually she got used to it, stopped fighting. You can still tell she doesn't like it but when all is said and done in the bath, she usually comes out giggling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to remember is try not to let the screaming get to you. Remain positive about bathtime. It's a pain to sit there and listen to this irrational baby scream about something so basic, but that's how we think of it in our mind. To them, it's an evil hand of poisonous bubbles trying to melt their head down. Do something funny, smile, talk them through it, they'll feed off of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as towel drying, that was always a no go. Besides the fact that she just hated it, she takes her bath at night, right before bed, so her hair needs to be completely dry before she gets into bed. Mold is common where I live so if a mattress, bed sheets, or a pillow case gets wet, it's going to get mold. Immediately after she gets out, we pat her hair down as best we can and then we use a blow dryer. That may sound harsh but we use the low setting. We also don't use the extremely hot setting, common sense would dictate that. It takes a little time to get everything dry but she enjoys it and the warm air helps her relax after the shower. As long as you use your hand as the buffer between dryer and scalp, it should be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2013-12-26T23:40:28.637" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10816" CreationDate="2013-12-27T00:09:14.703" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you really want centralised control, get yourself a content filtering firewall in longer with your broadband router (or a broadband router with content filtering, which a lot have now)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively signing up to the content filtering service from your ISP will make it simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I'd recommend going the route of not censoring, but instead using the internet together with your children, education and awareness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T00:09:14.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2013-12-27T11:25:18.173" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tell them you love them and (possibly) hug them&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was surprised that noone suggested that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't do it too late in the ritual, because of the &lt;em&gt;no stimulai&lt;/em&gt; rule. A good place would be probably after &lt;em&gt;tell me about your day&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T11:25:18.173" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2013-12-27T11:25:18.173" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10802" CreationDate="2013-12-27T12:28:27.807" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing to do is to stop trying to help, and stop anyone else who may be around from trying to help too.  That doesn't mean don't engage with them or play with them but that they just don't need the distraction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also fixating on it can become a problem.  Stop being there to catch them, they're probably picking up from a parent that falling down is bad.  Make a quick joke of it if they fall down and they'll let you know if they're really hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the note that's added I'd say this child can walk but doesn't want to practice right now.  At some point it will become more efficient for them to walk around than to crawl and they'll work it out soon enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T12:28:27.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4" CreationDate="2013-12-27T17:09:03.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Noone mentioned &lt;strong&gt;breast pads&lt;/strong&gt; - which may be useful if you're breastfeeding. My wife uses about 2 pairs per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A few blankets&lt;/strong&gt; scattered around the house really helps making sure the baby has a clean and comfortable place to lay. We have 4 of those, but I guess 3 would be sufficient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2013-12-27T17:09:03.393" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2013-12-27T17:09:03.393" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10823" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-28T21:27:44.303" Score="4" ViewCount="306" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12 month old has been waking at 4-4:30 am for quite some time. He usually doesn't require anything to go back to sleep but just wakes crying and grizzly. Sometimes I go in and give him his dummy other times he still has his dummy so I just lay him back down and he goes back to sleep until about 7am. I cannot work out why he is waking at this time and how to get him to just sleep through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6340" LastActivityDate="2013-12-30T00:04:38.200" Title="How do I get my toddler to stop waking at 4am?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2013-12-30T13:25:43.780" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10824" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-29T11:28:17.857" Score="9" ViewCount="13359" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems our 6 month baby wants to take everything in her mouth, it would be nice if we were able to give her some natural food-based teethers, but which edible substances can be used as teethers? Do they require any processing and what kind?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-09T18:16:27.727" LastActivityDate="2019-04-11T13:34:46.157" Title="What are some good natural teethers?" Tags="|infant|food|teething|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10825" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-29T11:35:46.190" Score="9" ViewCount="36404" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 6 month baby screams at top of her throat to get attention , as soon as we resume playing with her she smiles and plays and she wants to play all day along which is not possible , so how to deal with such loud screams which are even heard on all other floors of our apartment. Her mother gets terrified hearing such a loud scream and thinks that such  a loud scream can be fatal for her as it may damage her internal organs? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T17:20:59.413" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T17:20:59.413" Title="Loud Screaming to attract attention" Tags="|infant|parents|play|attention|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10824" CreationDate="2013-12-29T18:14:25.200" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of people recommend cold carrots, but the problem with carrots is that the baby can break a piece off that is just the right size to choke him. If you try carrots, you should watch carefully, and preferably only allow him to gnaw on the fat end where he is only likely to get scrapings rather than chunks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is difficult to come up with a &quot;natural&quot; possibility, but what you are ideally looking for is something that dissolves and is unlikely to cause a choking hazard which can be frozen to be hard and cold for relief. You might try frozen waffles (make your own and freeze if you are concerned about the ingredients). Cut them into strips so that as one thaws and gets mushy, it can be replaced with a fresh one. Pancakes or biscuits might also be possibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-12-29T18:14:25.200" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10823" CreationDate="2013-12-30T00:04:38.200" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He may be going through a growth spurt and waking hungry, or he may wake, and sensing separation from you, need to be reassured you are there. What you will find with babies, and indeed children as they grow throughout the time they are with you, is that their sleep patterns keep evolving and changing. What is troubling you now, in a few months time will be replaced by something new. I think you are doing exactly the right things! Until he is verbal, you cannot know for sure, so comforting him for a few moments and helping him back to sleep seems exactly right. His waking pattern is certainly not abnormal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2013-12-30T00:04:38.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10755" CreationDate="2013-12-30T18:52:46.413" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may want to see or call a dermatologist to see what they recommend for dry or chapped skin. They will most likely recommend an over the counter remedy or even something that can be prescribed. I also believe vaseline that has already been suggested may be a good place to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6350" LastActivityDate="2013-12-30T18:52:46.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2013-12-31T03:34:01.507" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think monitoring kids is a good idea. What he is interested in on the internet is determined by his daily habit, so cultivating his good interests and hobbies is useful than monitoring him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user6354" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T03:34:01.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10825" CreationDate="2013-12-31T09:38:36.197" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had similar experience. There are three good reasons for a baby to scream: hunger, dirty diapers and sickness. You already have confirmed none of these apply, because the kid stop screaming when you are with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So she is just playing arm wrestling with your nerves. Better not let her win...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I had this kind of manifestation with our first, I forced his mother and grand-mother (both crying) to go away from home for at least 20 mn, I closed the door and sat there doing nothing, starring blankly at the floor. Waited 10 minutes, which seemed like hours. Then the kid stopped screaming. Then I sneaked in his room, he was playing alone and smiled to me behind the tears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't say kid never screamed again, but at least I know I can endure it, and the kid knows it too, and the mother, and the grand-mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T09:38:36.197" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10825" CreationDate="2013-12-31T12:12:30.010" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;A baby's screaming to get your attention is not going to hurt her at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What she is doing is training you with the behaviour she wants: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;she screams -&gt; you play with her&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do is talk to her. At this point it doesn't matter that she can't understand everything you say, but giving a response along the lines of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Just a moment - I'll finish this and then come and play&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without getting stressed or panicking can really help. Look across at her, give eye contact, and once you have finished what you were doing go and play. This will begin to teach her that she can wait a minute and the screaming loses its effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T12:12:30.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10825" CreationDate="2013-12-31T12:14:57.677" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Damage to ears/internal organs&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I &lt;a href=&quot;http://condor.admin.ccny.cuny.edu/~ms6785/page4.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;read recently&lt;/a&gt; that a baby crying/screaming reaches anywhere between 110 dB to 115 dB. Continuous noise at 90 dB has a potential to cause ear damage, but that's 90 dB at a continual rate. Screams are typically just burst noise, not enough to cause eardrum damage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as internal organs, screaming really won't damage anything internally, unless continued, at a constant rate for potentially years. Screamers in metal bands may or may not have issues if they scream incorrectly, but that is typically after years of peformance. In terms of damage to her body, I don't think that should be a concern. If babies weren't meant to scream, they wouldn't be able to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Coping/Dealing&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I can't attest to the cry it out method simply because my wife wouldn't have any of that, eventually my first stopped screaming at play time. It took a couple months, but eventually she learned how to play by herself. Every now and then she wants attention, but she doesn't scream about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Now&lt;/em&gt;...that's not to say she got her way every single time, she didn't and still doesn't. There is a fine line between indulging and simply realizing that a child of that age &lt;strong&gt;needs&lt;/strong&gt; parental attention. In those moments we would redirect her attention elsewhere, like to a different toy that we hadn't been playing with or to a book, as those usually keep her very well occupied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have heard both sides of the cry it out methodology. Some swear by it while some believe it's barbaric. You have to determine what you will be comfortable with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T12:14:57.677" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10698" CreationDate="2013-12-31T12:30:08.500" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used food. Early on, after cooking a meal and setting the plate in front of our daughter, we would tell her not too touch it because &quot;It's hot&quot;. Eventually she would get curious and touch the still hot food. It would be hot enough for her to let it go and understand &quot;Holy moley, that hurt&quot;, but not hot enough to burn her and scar. We would then reiterate &quot;It's hot&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would also practice this too. If my wife or I accidentally burned myself in front of her, I would say &quot;Ouch! It's hot&quot;. She finally picked up on the &lt;em&gt;words&lt;/em&gt; we were saying and now every time we say &quot;Don't touch. It's hot&quot; she looks back at it, points at whatever the hot thing is, and says &quot;It's hot&quot; and she doesn't touch it. Begin establishing a vocabulary now and use food or something else that's hot but not fireplace hot to explain that if you touch it, you will be in pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T12:30:08.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2013-12-31T15:15:35.757" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had two sons who were defiant.  About the time the oldest turned 12, I went to someone for help and they introduced me to this program.  It worked almost immediately, and on my children who were 12, 11, 10, 9 and 7.  The middle child is autistic and it even worked for him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We stuck with the plan and sometimes, when I was not doing what I promised (I'll make supper at 5) they'd say &quot;Mom, that's 1&quot;.  One thing I did is allow my children to ask what they were getting a 1 for.  Usually, though, they'd know what they were doing was wrong. I am eternally grateful for this program and have reminded the children of how well it works so they'll remember to use it on their children when they have them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6355" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-01T14:37:45.680" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T14:37:45.680" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10837" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-31T16:51:47.063" Score="2" ViewCount="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our six month old daughter cant sleep on her own , a loud scream is an indicator that she wants to sleep , if all other things are ruled out.We need to take her to the swing and sing to make her sleep or at times if this does not work then we need to take her on the chest and roam around in the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hence my question is how to train an infant(&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4214/teaching-a-almost-3-year-old-she-can-fall-asleep-on-her-own&quot;&gt;not a toddler&lt;/a&gt;) to sleep on her own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T16:51:47.063" Title="Baby does not sleep on her own" Tags="|infant|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2013-12-31T17:14:14.370" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2013-12-31T17:09:29.320" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's pretty simple to filter your home internet by setting OpenDNS as your DNS server on your router. You can then have &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.opendns.com/index.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;OpenDNS&lt;/a&gt; block or allow specific sites or classes of sites, as you wish. You can also have all internet use logged if you choose. As long as you keep control of your router, they are unlikely to be able to change this, and if they do, you'll know. You'll also know your kid is being sneaky, and this behavior is likely in other areas of his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my own home, I've set up OpenDNS to limit what they might accidentally stumble across, I've taught them about personal safety and security as well as appropriate behavior while using the Internet, and I loosely monitor the time they spend on the computer. I do not log anything. I feel like education with a bit of a safety net is the way to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T17:09:29.320" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10840" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10856" CreationDate="2013-12-31T17:29:53.317" Score="3" ViewCount="3973" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 2 months old. As of right now, we have a pretty well working routine of putting the baby to sleep. Bath, lights out, long feeding, then falling asleep on our hands, then falling asleep on us when we sit/lay, then being put to bed. It all takes about 2 hours, which is acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that this routine involves a lot - about ~20 minutes - of carrying and another 20 minutes laying on us falling into deep sleep. It will become more difficult and tiresome as the baby grows, so we would like to change the routine and eliminate those two parts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When should we start trying to lull her to sleep in her bed?&lt;/strong&gt; Is it already time to start sleep training? On one hand, we would like to start it as soon as possible, but on the other - the current routine is working well and we wouldn't like to rid ourselves of a few hours of sleep per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Up till now, she has managed to fall asleep on her own only three times - two of them in the last week. Is it some kind of hint that we should start trying to let her fall asleep on her own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-01-01T19:16:40.790" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T07:06:18.950" Title="When to transition to letting the baby fall asleep on its own? Is my baby ready for sleep training?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10841" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2013-12-31T17:56:48.170" Score="8" ViewCount="1645" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six year-old son gets very excited about Lego Chima and Ninjago, and when we go to the library, he specifically asks me to find books about them.  I want to indulge his enthusiasm for reading.  The problem is, the books are targeted for around ages 8-9+, which puts it beyond his ability both in terms of vocabulary and length.  I insist he also get books appropriate to his level, but he is completely unable to focus on them when he knows a Chima book is available in his backpack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What he does is read aloud for 10 minutes or so, glossing over the many words he doesn't know, which we fill in for him or make him sound out.  Then he declares he is going to read silently, so he won't &quot;bother us,&quot; which is a lie that we know means he will just stare at the pictures and pretend to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On one hand, he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; stretching his reading ability, albeit in small intervals, and he is enthusiastic about books, which we don't want to squelch.  On the other hand, the lying about pretending to read and the neglect of ability-appropriate reading material concerns us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any ideas for channeling his enthusiasm into more ability-appropriate reading?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T13:18:08.390" Title="When a child only gets enthused about books above his reading level" Tags="|reading|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10842" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10854" CreationDate="2013-12-31T20:43:11.727" Score="2" ViewCount="158" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our little girl, who is 21 months old, has been sleeping really well pretty much from the beginning. We established a good routine sleeping through the night, no problem.&#xA;Since Christmas however she hasn't gone to bed well, making bedtime a 3-8 hour process!&#xA;Even though we haven't changed the routine at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is a very active girl, so she should be tired, and I can see her yawning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that she's too excited because I (Dad) am home all the time.&#xA;When I just do the routine, put her down and say goodnight, she comes right out screaming, even if I keep putting her back to bed. (I've spent an hour doing that, back and forth.)&#xA;If I stay and hold her hand, she works herself up and gets all excited that I'm still there and after half an hour, she's jumping up and down in bed, thinking it's playtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's driving us crazy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to describe the complexity of the situation in just a couple of paragraphs, but maybe someone has had a similar experience, or even just a few tips / tricks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing: I asked her grandma to put her to bed one night, with us out of the house: no problem at all. (of course)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6356" LastEditorUserId="1969" LastEditDate="2014-01-01T17:38:08.570" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T17:38:08.570" Title="Toddler started to not fall asleep anymore" Tags="|toddler|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10842" CreationDate="2013-12-31T20:59:56.317" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't give up, and stick to a schedule. My two kids did great, with only minor glitches like you're going through, because we worked out a schedule for them. Wake-up time, snack time, nap time, lunch time, nap time, snack time, dinner time, story time, bed time. Always, every day, no matter what else was happening. Of course, we altered their schedule as they grew, but we never discarded it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To this day, they sleep well and long enough. My oldest is 18 and at college most of the year, and she still gets up at a decent hour and chooses to go to bed early enough to get a good night's sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T20:59:56.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10844" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10841" CreationDate="2013-12-31T23:51:48.527" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe there are 2 things at play here and both can be used for your son's advantage:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) He has a desire for something currently beyond his immediate level &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; is willing to put &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; effort into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By embracing his desire, you can harness it for his betterment.  You might try activities taken from the book, such as&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;i) Drawing pictures about a particular page or chapter (if his attention will handle an entire chapter) which are not also drawn in the book;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ii) Choosing 1 or 2 &quot;Words of the Day&quot; from the book and exploring their meaning, even using them in other sentences;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;iii) Letting him act out (if safe and age-appropriate) a scene (maybe using toys?) as a presentation to you;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;iv) Taking a somewhat-tough sentence and working as a team to rewrite it into something he'll better grasp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing those things won't allow him to fully grasp the entire book, but it will use the book as a basis from which he can grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Some kids (like my own) are a bit too conscientious about how what they're doing affects their parents and try to hide it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter takes such an attitude with a particular &quot;thing&quot;, I will &quot;beg&quot; her to do something else (in your son's case, read a different book?) and then schedule specific time with me to do the particular thing as a team.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By dedicating a specific period of time and showing a passionate interest in what she's interested in, it no longer becomes a perceived bother or embarrassment, but a looked-forward-to activity.  It may even be worthwhile to have him look at the book for 15-30 minutes beforehand (depending on attention span) so that he can ask you any questions he has when you're working on it together -- he will either formulate the questions or spend his time just looking at the pictures, but he won't feel that anything needs to be hidden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T23:51:48.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10777" CreationDate="2013-12-31T23:59:26.377" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids at that age love affection and other &quot;treats&quot;... putting out a realistic consequence as a result of the undesired behavior can be quite productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Daddy, I want a hug.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Oh, but you don't blow your nose properly.  Go wash your hands first.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be consistent in your implementation and always make it a realistic consequence for the undesired behavior and they will adapt to get what they want faster -- e.g. he wants the hug more than he doesn't want to blow his nose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2013-12-31T23:59:26.377" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10841" CreationDate="2014-01-01T01:53:54.443" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, don't worry too much about his &quot;lying&quot; about whether he is really reading.  I think at that age, looking at the pictures is part of reading, though for us it is not so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, BTW, I think it's great that your son, who sounds like he's still in that phase where lack of fluency makes reading a frustrating and unpleasant experience, is &lt;em&gt;choosing&lt;/em&gt; to try reading this difficult book for ten minutes!  Of course his brain gets exhausted -- even if it were not too hard for him, reading before the pathways have formed (i.e., &lt;em&gt;forming&lt;/em&gt; those pathways), is mentally exhausting.  My daughter also went through this stage when she was six, and I was treated to lots of frustrated yelling how she &lt;em&gt;hated&lt;/em&gt; reading and was &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; going to read books when she was an adult, etc.... her knowing full well that reading was one of my favorite things, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I would suggest about the Chima books is:  Can you re-write them?  Make your own simpler version of the story to go with the pictures, print it out and tape it (with removable tape!) over the text, so he can be reading that instead?  Because you're right, he needs to be reading &quot;ability appropriate&quot; books (my daughter's school calls them &quot;just right&quot; books), and BTW he will get more benefit out of these things (the way they're written now) from your reading them to him, than in struggling through them himself -- if you can find something else ability appropriate for him to read himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, I'd say keep going to the library and persist in trying different things.  Something else will eventually click.  It took my daughter trying many, many different  &quot;just right&quot; books before she found something interesting enough that she actually enjoyed reading it (and then several of its sequels, which were not so clever, sigh).  Though, of course,  part of her success was in being forced to read &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; for fifteen minutes every school night for several months, which meant she got good enough at reading to not find it frustrating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(What worked for her?  In the altruistic desire to be helpful to my fellow sloggers in the parental trenches -- and the knowledge that I can post completely anonymously -- I will mention, in case you want to try it, that the perfect, &quot;just right&quot; book that was my daughter's first love, the book that opened her eyes to the delights of reading a book to herself -- as opposed to being read to -- that amazing book she adored and started a series that she had to be forcibly pulled away from every time we had to go somewhere ... was &lt;em&gt;Captain Underpants&lt;/em&gt;.  YMMV.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T01:53:54.443" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10849" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-01T09:12:52.047" Score="6" ViewCount="5020" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been trying to explain New Year to our 4-year-old but since he doesn't yet have a good understanding of the calendar, time references are meaningless to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you explain this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;This is a &lt;em&gt;seed question.&lt;/em&gt; I know at least one good answer myself but I'd like to hear others' ideas too. It's a bit late to ask this now (1 January) but it will be relevant every year. &lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2017-03-07T09:31:53.223" Title="How can I explain New Year to a preschooler?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10849" CreationDate="2014-01-01T09:19:23.000" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;After many fruitless attempts, my wife finally had this idea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We're celebrating the birthday of the year.&lt;/strong&gt; Just like people have a birthday once a year, the year also has a birthday. And because the year can't celebrate itself, people do it instead. And they do that with fireworks and parties. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T09:19:23.000" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10849" CreationDate="2014-01-01T10:24:59.283" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The term &quot;toddler&quot; can refer to a significant range of developmental ability.  In raising my child, I have always tried to explain as much of the truth as she can sucessfully process.  With very young children, often visuals are better than vocal explanations, so an activity where one of you stands in the middle and the other walks around the other as a demonstration of Earth's path around the sun and the identification of a full circle implying a new year might resonate with the toddle as well as provide an instructional opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T10:24:59.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10473" CreationDate="2014-01-01T10:36:16.150" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the most effective ways of learning, especially about life, is by doing it and making the mistake ourselves or by learning from the mistakes of others.  In relationships where the partners are together for the duration of the childrens' growth, there is still relationship conflict which needs to be addressed -- and the children will learn from those conflicts and how they are resolved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is the very rare person who has one and only one relationship during their entire lifetime.  Once you know someone well enough that you feel your children are safe around that person, I see no problem in introducing that person to your children.  Outside of that person's presence, I would talk with the children to identify that that is who you are dating and explain that dating is a process of getting to know the person better, not necessarily a lifelong commitment, and emphasize that you want their feedback on your relationship.  Should the relationship not work out, explaining that you found that you weren't a good match with that person, so you decided to move on, will help them to see an example of making proper relationship choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO, by keeping all relationships from their view one inadvertently teaches something else... what that is depends on the perspective of the child: &quot;relationships are scary&quot;, &quot;you only get married once&quot;, etc.  And because those &quot;lessons&quot; are quietly learned, they are hard to address until they crop up directly later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have actually lived by this philosophy: my daughter knows who my partners have been (I had even re-married), but in keeping an open line of communication with her, I hope that I have shown her effective means of working in relationships to try and resolve conflicts and when it is time to simply say goodbye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T10:36:16.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10777" CreationDate="2014-01-01T14:30:24.893" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have three boys who all learned to blow their nose probably around 1 year old. They mostly learned from watching their mom who blows her nose around them very visibly and loudly. When they had snot in their nose, she'd hold a tissue to their nose and encourage then saying, &quot;blow your nose.&quot; At first they'd do nothing or just make a noise and we'd mostly pinch the snot out. But they all eventually started to actually blow their nose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6364" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T14:30:24.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10842" CreationDate="2014-01-01T15:46:15.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've got a number of things going on that could be causing this little back-slide.  In general, I wouldn't worry about it.  Stick to your schedule and when everything else gets back to normal, your child will too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Things to Keep in Mind:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter isn't far from turning two.  You are in range of some      developmental changes and when big developmental leaps occur.  In my     experience, a child's sleep patterns are often affected by a need for    a little more sleep, over-stimulated brain that has a hard time       shifting into sleep mode, or sometimes less of a sleep requirement.      As I stated above, I recommend doing your best to stick to the       schedule and simply ride the &quot;wave.&quot;  However, watch for big       developmental leaps and if you think she is needing a change in how      much sleep she gets, or her &quot;downshift time,&quot; respond accordingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The holidays just mess with kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As much as you feel her routine hasn't changed, simply having extra&#xA;people around changes things - energy level, noise and amount of&#xA;movement in the house around her just to name a few.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is the time of year for feasting and lots of &lt;strong&gt;special foods,&#xA;candies, extra sugar&lt;/strong&gt; (which isn't as impactfull as a lot of people&#xA;think, but remains a factor).  We all know what we eat in the hours&#xA;before bed makes an impact on how we sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are also a lot of holiday lights which can make it harder to&#xA;sleep.  Is her room brighter because of lighted decorations the&#xA;neighbors have put up?  Perhaps a blanket over the window will help&#xA;block out that extra light?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most importantly for kids though, is the excitement of the season. &#xA;Even &lt;em&gt;The Night Before Christmas&lt;/em&gt; refers to the children's sleep when&#xA;it says, &quot;sugar plums danced in their heads.&quot;  When a child is extra&#xA;excited it is difficult for him/her to slow down and shift into rest&#xA;mode because there is just so much to think about.  It keeps the&#xA;brain firing and more awake - longer.  Often, this time of year, it&#xA;can be helpful to add a little &quot;downshift time&quot; by reading one extra&#xA;book before bed, or making sure to have a quiet family activity for&#xA;half an hour to an hour before the child's bedtime - such as a fairly&#xA;calm game session (go fish or candyland. .. ) or everyone snuggling&#xA;on the couch to read together.  It can really help that brain to stop&#xA;over-firing a little sooner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I think knowing that at around two, one of the &quot;stages&quot; many kids go through is a bit of a clingy phase may be super helpful for you based on the items you state in your question.  This is one of those developmental things I refer to above, but I felt a focus on the &quot;clingy&quot; aspect of this age change might be beneficial.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an age where kids can become &quot;attached&quot; again to a specific person - usually mom, but not always.  When this happens it can be exhibited by the child only wanting the one person to help with dressing, eating, going potty, &lt;strong&gt;going to bed&lt;/strong&gt;, and etc.  Most commonly, it shows up at times when that person/parent is leaving (for a night out, or work or whatever).  Often, with the kids I cared for, once the parent to whom the child is &quot;attached&quot; is no longer available, all is well and the child does just fine without the attached adult, but while the child knows that adult can see or hear the child will make a huge fuss wanting that person only.  All I can say, is reassure her that you love her &lt;strong&gt;and know she loves you&lt;/strong&gt;, tell her why you can't be the one to put her down for bed (when you can't be) and then remind her she can look forward to the next night when you &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; be the one putting her down for bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and let us know how it works out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T15:46:15.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10841" CreationDate="2014-01-01T16:14:09.853" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My homeschooled daughter and I have encountered a similar problem.  The books she chooses for reading are often a little too challenging for her to successfully read out loud (and include every word - especially if it means correct pronunciation), but even without pictures, she still does very well on comprehension tests (of texts generally leveled for Middle School Students) even while I know she is dropping some words exactly as your son is doing.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Something to think about in regard to beginning reading&lt;/strong&gt;:  Stopping to sound out every word really does mess with fluency &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; comprehension.  The more focused on each individual word he has to be, the less likely he is to understand the entire sentence, paragraph etc.  In pure text, if they understand 85% of the words, they'll get the gist of the text.  Add pictures, and they need even fewer words to attain understanding.  The reality is that he has pictures there to fill in the meaning so he can still comprehend the story - and his brain is still &quot;seeing&quot; the word and getting experience with it (which, overtime, expands his vocabulary naturally).  Even we adults, when reading silently, often don't really &quot;read&quot; every word.  Good readers do drop superfluous words frequently.  I understand he isn't dropping words because they are &quot;extra,&quot; in terms of the adult experience, but in &lt;strong&gt;his context&lt;/strong&gt;, they &lt;strong&gt;are extra&lt;/strong&gt; gibberish he doesn't need because he does have the info from the pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those who are not homeschooling,kids gets reading assigned at school that forces the issue in terms of practice with sounding out and getting reading that is &quot;at level.&quot;  For these kids, the answer is simple, if you aren't forcing them to read the words they don't know, they won't feel the need to lie to you.  Allow for skipped words, if that is what the child wants to do.  Don't put him in the position where he feels the need to &quot;lie&quot; to you about what he is doing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Now, I am not saying&lt;/strong&gt; this means you should forget about it and &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; insist on reading that includes sounding out every word- that is also important!  Since you homeschool, you must also provide this experience for your child.  What I &lt;strong&gt;am&lt;/strong&gt; suggesting, is finding a way to strike a balance and do both.  So, here is how I think about and talk about reading with my daughter and it has generally worked &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; well to this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It is important to understand that we read for a variety of reasons&lt;/strong&gt;.  Even adults, read for pleasure, for information (news, street signs etc.) &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; for learning.  Some of the reading we do &quot;for school&quot; is to expand vocabulary, some is to learn new information about a topic or how to do something.  Some reading lessons are for the purposes of practicing the skill of reading - sounding out, gathering meaning from context, and increasing fluency. . . &lt;strong&gt;We need different kinds of books for different purposes&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son can know the learning objectives you have for his lessons (in fact, it often helps them meet those objectives sooner if they know what the objectives are) and he can help choose some of his lesson books if he keeps your objectives in mind while choosing them.  By offering him understanding about why choosing leveled books while still allowing a measured amount of choice is likely to improve his outlook at least somewhat.  It'd probably feel like a very nice compromise to him and engage him further in his responsibility for his education than most kids have the opportunity to be engaged.  Perhaps he'd like to choose books related to a topic that interests him and do most of his &quot;lesson reading&quot; in non-fiction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll know that when he is done reading the &quot;other&quot; book you &quot;assigned&quot; for him (or chose together with the purpose of reading practice in mind), he can go read his &quot;interest&quot; books his way.  This eliminates his feeling that a lie will help him, because his lesson books will be chosen at an appropriate level and he knows ahead of time he needs to work through every word.  Of course, &lt;strong&gt;this applies to lesson objectives that necessitate his reading every word&lt;/strong&gt;. With subjects like science, maybe you can choose books one level up and take turns and have him do some of the reading while you do most of the reading.  There are also a certain number of &quot;classics&quot; you may feel he needs to be familiar with, but that you can read to him and he can do comprehension activities about without actually having to physically do the reading.  He'll also know that he can &quot;read for pleasure&quot; as part of his day when he can read out loud to you his way - no pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For kids who attend a mortar and brick school, the teachers will generally assign the &quot;lesson books.&quot;  Parents then should only force a reading of every word and total comprehension for homework/schoolwork - but not for &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; reading.  Over Holiday breaks (Winter or Summer) you can still incorporate a &quot;reading for practice&quot; session in the day, in addition to &quot;reading choice&quot; time if you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because I also homeschool my daughter, ideas offered by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10844/2876&quot;&gt;Jeremy Miller&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10847/2876&quot;&gt;Ossum's Mom&lt;/a&gt; are &lt;strong&gt;great&lt;/strong&gt; ones.  Jeremy Millers list includes activities I use frequently and agree they are also a wonderful set of resources for you too.  Your son could choose a Chima book for &lt;strong&gt;some&lt;/strong&gt; learning objectives with these activities in mind and still not have to read absolutely &lt;strong&gt;every&lt;/strong&gt; word.  In fact choosing &quot;words of the day&quot; from books that are above his reading level is a &lt;strong&gt;fabulous way&lt;/strong&gt; to expand his vocabulary and honor his favorite books at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ideas offered by Jeremy were ideas I also used with students when I taught in a classroom, and they would certainly be appropriate over the summer break for any kid at home with mom or dad.  In fact, it will help in preventing a &quot;summer (back)slide.&quot;  But I can also say, &lt;strong&gt;for kids who attend mortar and brick schools&lt;/strong&gt;, they get &lt;strong&gt;A LOT&lt;/strong&gt; of reading in school and the activities that go with it.  The school day is filled with it, so activities like re-writing a story, or choosing &quot;words of the day&quot; at home too can become an exhausting chore for both child and parent since they are already doing that at school as well.  Therefore, &lt;strong&gt;while school is in session, I recommend against them&lt;/strong&gt;, and I certainly recommend against using them for &lt;strong&gt;everything&lt;/strong&gt; your child reads - homeschooling or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also like to recommend a few websites that are wonderful resources for finding book suggestions and sorting through the many books available out there in the world with/without your son while you search:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lexile.com/fab/results/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Lexile&lt;/a&gt; - while many kids haven't done the testing to have an assigned and up-to-date lexile score, you &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; approximate a score by age and grade-level if your child is of pretty average ability for his grade level.  Then you can up the score a bit if the books listed seem too easy, or bump the score down just a bit if they seem too hard.  This resource is wonderful for finding good books to read in topical interest areas &lt;strong&gt;or&lt;/strong&gt; specific genres he takes a liking to, or you wish to use in your son's education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whatshouldireadnext.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;What should I read Next?&lt;/a&gt; which helps find books your son might like based on the books you already know he likes - though it isn't &quot;leveled&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://bookadventure.com/Home.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Book Adventure&lt;/a&gt; This website helps you create &quot;reading challenges&quot; for your son.  It has a catalog of books from which to choose that also have comprehension quizzes that go with them.  You can also create your own quizzes - there are all kinds of helpful items.  Often, there are reading contests in which you can participate as well, we did one to read &quot;winter stories&quot; when Alice was 4, and she earned Snowmen at Night as her reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T16:10:30.297" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10840" CreationDate="2014-01-01T16:51:05.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, I would log the fact that she has fallen asleep on her own twice as important and &lt;strong&gt;possibly&lt;/strong&gt; a sign she is ready, &lt;strong&gt;IF&lt;/strong&gt; she wasn't just responding to being extra tired because of the holidays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is quite a bit of debate about when babies should learn to fall asleep on their own - my daughter took forever to learn to fall asleep completely of her own accord.  Most sleep training methods I know, recommend against &quot;crying it out&quot; until after the sixth month of life, but there are a lot of in-between ways to handle things.  Some people say they should &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; fall asleep when it isn't on their own and that you should get them to the point where the are &lt;strong&gt;almost&lt;/strong&gt; asleep and then lay them down.  There are tons of books all with their own ideas, and there are a number of sleep studies that conflict with one-another as well.  As a result, there is quite a debate about how to &quot;sleep train&quot; and this can be one of those hot-button issues with parents too.  So, I don't know that there is one ultimately awesome answer to your question &lt;strong&gt;When should we start trying to lull her to sleep in her bed?&lt;/strong&gt; other than, when it seems right to do so for your family with your specific situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my daughter, we didn't have her fall asleep on her own until much later. We still had to sit in her room with her while she fell asleep at two years old - which wasn't ideal.  However, once asleep (which took hardly any time at all) she was asleep all the way, slept well and deeply for longer than most of her other two year old friends and we &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; had fights about nap time or bed time -  but that was what worked well for us.  My sister-in-law hastled us and said we should have had her sleeping on her own much sooner - she scoffed about it actually and acted as though I was a lesser mother because I hadn't properly &quot;sleep trained&quot; my child.  Her advantage was she could simply close the door and expect her two-year-old to go to sleep at the end of their sleep routine.  It did require less of her time in her child's room, but his naps weren't nearly as long, and they did have more debate when it was time for bed, more &quot;stalling&quot; techniques happened later on in life - but that was what they felt worked well for them.  All in all, both sets of kids slept and got the proper number of hours, we both probably spent an equal amount of time working with our kids toward sleep, it was just spent in different ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I will say, that if she is falling asleep &quot;on her own&quot; right now, why not try putting her down just before she falls asleep from here forward?  If it doesn't work, you can go back to the old way and no harm done.  The way to tell they are &quot;almost asleep&quot; but not quite is by watching for a point when they go pretty limp and have what I can only describe as a &quot;blank stare.&quot;  Gently place her in her crib at that point in her preferred sleep position and see if she is willing to drift the rest of the way into sleep on her own.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will also refer you to these questions that may have helpful information for you right here on SE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/9124/2876&quot;&gt;Help with Sleep Training&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/8428/2876&quot;&gt;My 14 week old is waking frequently, can we sleep train yet?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also like to refer you to this wonderful blarticle &lt;a href=&quot;http://scienceofmom.com/2012/04/03/6-little-secrets-of-a-sleeping-baby/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;6 Little Secrets of a Sleeping baby&lt;/a&gt; that is enlightening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It re-iterates the fact that crying is a natural thing, being emotionally attuned and available helps baby sleep longer and more deeply even if crying has to be part of the journey, that communication is critical and that it encamping oneself in one side or the other on any parenting issue is probably not healthy for anyone among other things.  It gives tips and advice that are super general, but soothing for parent and if it soothes parent, it probably helps in soothing baby too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T17:18:48.393" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10777" CreationDate="2014-01-01T17:05:21.130" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used the snot bulb to suction our kid's snot-filled nose when she was a baby, and just never stopped.  She hated it, learned to blow her nose in self-defense before she was 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastActivityDate="2014-01-01T17:05:21.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10825" CreationDate="2014-01-01T18:52:18.643" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child of six months really does need a lot of attention.  Too little would be of far more concern than any possible damage she could do to herself through screamig (not likely, as established by others already).  Giving a child of this age enough attention while still having some: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;time for yourself,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Time to get regular household chores done&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Time for others in your life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;can be extremely challenging.  However, I found the best way to handle this for me was to go ahead and give my daughter the attention she &lt;strong&gt;needed&lt;/strong&gt; as a preventative - &lt;strong&gt;an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are not mentally capable of purposeful and willful manipulation at this age (&lt;a href=&quot;http://fas-philosophy.rutgers.edu/goldman/Theory%20of%20Mind%20_Oxford%20Handbook_.pdf.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Theory of mind&lt;/a&gt; to this point of understanding happens sometime &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/documents/Astington-EdwardANGxp.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;between age three and age five&lt;/a&gt; for most children based on current cognitive psychological studies and understanding) - so her screaming is simply a communication to you that she is in need of something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By including my daughter in what it was I was doing I was preventing her from &lt;strong&gt;needing&lt;/strong&gt; to scream for attention.  If I was washing dishes, I could set her on the floor at my feet with a dish she couldn't break and a dish towel and enlist her as &quot;mommy's helper&quot; in drying the dish.  While we both did dishes, I would talk to her about what I was doing.  Inevitably, she lost interest and went back to playing with whatever toys I had also placed near her.  High chairs are also a good place (for short periods of time) for such &quot;mother's helper&quot; tasks, and I could still put her in the sling for short bits of time at this age as well.  I  used similar methods while getting laundry folded, homework (I was a teacher) graded, Dinner made etc.  Often, it was enough just to be near me and know I was talking to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speak to her as though you fully believe she understands everything you say (they usually understand far more than they can express back, and even when they don't, it is engaging their little brains and helping them learn language along the way).  As you do things around the house and talk about them (whether it is changing her diaper, or chopping carrots) she is getting the time and attention she needs while you are still getting your daily tasks done.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also try 10 minutes of &quot;play&quot; together alternating with 5 -10 minutes of chores.  For this method, (which I suggest using in conjunction with the other method) You engage single-mindedly with your baby in play for about ten minutes, leave your child while she is further engaged with whatever toy she has at the moment (but still always in sight) and spend five to minutes doing the chore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally in terms of prevention, kids at this age have almost no attention span.  So, in order to keep her engaged in independent play for as long as possible, I used to rotate toys a lot.  My daughter may have always had about five to six toys around her, to choose from while playing independently, but every so often I'd switch out three of four of the toys.  Then, when she was playing independently I often had a lot longer (five extra minutes perhaps?) before she needed help re-engaging in something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In regard to how to stop the screaming&lt;/strong&gt; when it is happening despite your best efforts at prevention, doing something like ignoring the child, or leaving it alone completely while it screams is just not appropriate at such a young age.   I would do essentially as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10833/2876&quot;&gt;Rory Alsop&lt;/a&gt; suggests.  &quot;I hear you want to play with me, I'll be there just a moment.&quot;  As your daughter gets older (and more able to communicate with language), if she screams for something, saying something like - &quot;I hear you need something.  Is there another way to tell me about it?&quot; will become increasingly appropriate - but hopefully, the screaming will go away on its own anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T03:48:29.107" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6687" CreationDate="2014-01-01T19:00:48.657" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't teach reading, I teach eighth grade algebra, but I've run across many reluctant readers during our SSR period. I don't think there's much to be done by 13 years old beyond hoping they stumble across the series that catches them. It does happen, but you can't make it happen, so starting younger is vital.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my own kids, the single biggest factor in making them enthusiastic readers was eliminating TV. Starting when the oldest hit kindergarten, we never turned on the TV on a school night. We would record a couple of favorite shows for everyone, but no TV during the week. Reading became more attractive. We also read. We read a lot. The whole family would gather on our bed and read. At first, the adults read to the kids. Then we moved on to passing the book around, everyone reading a page. (Shel Silverstein is a great way to try this out.) Then we read books to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost 19, just home from college, and she reads on the same bed with me or my wife or both. My youngest is almost 15, and has a Nook. She buys what she wants within reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, though, you have to kill the TV. Use a brick if you have to. If you can't do this, and it takes the whole family to do it, you lose the time to read, and you lose the motivation to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-01-02T02:29:48.713" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T02:29:48.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10860" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-02T03:06:59.090" Score="16" ViewCount="11836" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter thinks she has an equal say in any of our decisions.  She only does the things we tell her to do if she thinks they make sense, otherwise we have to threaten her, which makes her threaten us right back.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time this isn't a problem -- she takes arguments about going to bed, brushing her teeth, eating vegetables, doing homework, practicing the guitar the way we want her to, but the other day she was going to take a bucket of water and clean some shelves downstairs and I told her NO and she said Why not and I said I didn't want her to.  She picked up the bucket and said that isn't a reason and started to walk out of the bathroom.  I told her I would punish her if she continued and she said SHE would punish ME if I did.  She means it, too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you probably guessed, yelling doesn't work, she yells right back, and we don't believe in smacking kids.  She finally stopped when I promised her I would let her clean those shelves with me over the weekend, but how to I get her to do what I want her to do because &lt;strong&gt;I said so&lt;/strong&gt;?  Her dad isn't home much but she's not much better with him, except if he yells really loud, which isn't dignified, and that doesn't always work either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I say threaten her, I mean I say &quot;If you take that bucket out of the bathroom I will take away your DS&quot;, and she says &quot;If you do that I'll hide your credit card&quot;.  Anything we think we have a right to do to her she thinks she has a right to do to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-03-22T09:01:20.300" LastActivityDate="2017-03-22T09:01:20.300" Title="How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10860" CreationDate="2014-01-02T06:09:34.727" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you read &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1451663889&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to Talk So Kids Will Listen &amp;amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk&lt;/a&gt;? It is full of useful hints. Basically, it boils down to &lt;em&gt;treating your daughter with respect&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;giving them the feeling that they have control over the situation&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;building their confidence&lt;/em&gt;, and a number of other essentials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T06:09:34.727" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10860" CreationDate="2014-01-02T07:30:11.903" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems your daughter has developed a strong will. And while I understand that not listening to the parents is be a problem, the situation you are describing does not seem to be very worrying. Perhaps an example of her behavior where she puts herself in danger or which can have bad side effects would help understand your problem better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a strong-minded child may have its advantages in the future. I daresay it is a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But to the point: I say, &lt;strong&gt;give her more freedom.&lt;/strong&gt; If she wants to do something which doesn't collide severely with your plans (play games when you were supposed to go on a trip, etc), let her do it. Clean the shelves instead of bathing? Well ok, but you have to bath after that. Draw some boundaries: which tasks she has to do, which she can do whenever she wishes (but not later than ...) and which are optional. Make sure you praise her for doing the optional and quickly doing the non-urgent. Also make sure you use different tone when making a request and making a command.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing would be to trick your daughter into doing the things you want her to do. A simple way would be to ask her to do it with as little reward as possible, like &quot;mom would be very happy if you ...&quot;. Yes, mom's happiness is the reward. Some free time, permission to stay late one day, perhaps small material presents (sweets?). The important thing is to make the reward small. And try the mom's happines once in a while anyway. If she does what you ask her to with only that, you're good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think &lt;strong&gt;you should let her make &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; decisions&lt;/strong&gt;. With luck, that amount of freedom will make her obey your other, more important commands. Try to talk with her and make a deal, possibly write it on a sheet of paper and hang it in her room, where you state what she has to do and what &quot;freedoms&quot; she has. Make sure you are comfortable respecting that deal, because she may and will try to go to the limit. If you want, post the deal made in another question - some experienced parents here may find gaps you didn't even imagine;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is more important are &lt;strong&gt;the consequences of her actions - let her suffer them&lt;/strong&gt;. And make them stronger and more inconveniant if possible. Not doing her homework? She'll get bad grades AND will have her favourite toy/laptop taken away for a day. No guitar practice? Tell the teacher and see how she handles his reprimand. Spilt the water from the bucket all over the stairs? Make her clean it thoroughly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am more worried about the threatening part. If she threatens you with something really bad/evil/dangerous, you should take that seriously. Talk to her about it. If necessary, seek professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T07:30:11.903" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10860" CreationDate="2014-01-02T12:06:17.957" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are some things a child MUST do - wear seatbelts in a car, for example.  There are other things a child SHOULD do, but which they can chose.  Wearing a coat in cold weather, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a parent will see the cold weather, and know that their child must be kept warm, and then say &quot;This means that a coat must be worn, and that means the coat must be put on before we leave the house&quot;.  This pushes a lot of pressure onto a situation where the child can refuse.  And the child's refusal is reasonable - &quot;I am warm enough now, why do I need to put my coat on now?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One approach would  be to spend time pushing the child to wearing the coat before leaving the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The easier approach would be to let the child know that it's cold outside, and ask if they want a coat.  When the child says &quot;No!&quot; don't force it, just take the coat with you, and keep asking.  Then, when the child says that they're cold and would like a coat just hand it over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving a child small amounts of freedom over these small things should help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then for the less reasonable things you just explain that this thing must happen for anything else to happen.  &quot;We're in the car.  What do we all need to do first?&quot;  Then quietly explain that wearing a seat belt is the law, and that there's not a choice here, and that it has to happen before the car moves.  Offering choice about other things - &quot;What drink would you like in the car?&quot; might help.  But keep coming back to the fact that for seat belts there's no options.  Everyone must do it, including the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes allowing a child to learn by experience is fine.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T12:06:17.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10840" CreationDate="2014-01-02T12:18:38.647" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should stop letting the child fall asleep on you as soon as possible!  That is forming a bad habit which will be hard to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Sleep training&quot; techniques tend to be for children who are at least 6 months old.  Any technique that requires you to allow a child to cry (even for a minute) are not for children under six months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend that you continue with your routine, but instead of allowing the child to fall asleep on you that you put the child to bed so that they can fall asleep by themselves.  During this time you need to be available to comfort the child if they need it.  Lots of hugs and cuddles when the child cries, but then put them back to bed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will be some transition time, but it should only last a week.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T12:18:38.647" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10797" CreationDate="2014-01-02T17:52:43.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you don't have to tell her, just work on the greed part.  I have heard from a lot of other people that their kids still believe in Santa even up though 11 or older, which is way different from when we were kids.  One friend said she thinks it's because of Polar Express -- in that movie, not believing is presented as a choice, and because believing is what makes Santa come, they can choose to believe.  So of course when they hear that someone doesn't believe, they think &quot;Loser!&quot; and are happy that they still believe.  When we were kids, when we heard someone doesn't believe, it was like &quot;Oh!  There is no Santa?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T17:52:43.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10860" CreationDate="2014-01-02T20:32:21.000" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a good idea to give her as much choice as feasible, but it sounds like you're already doing that, perhaps too much, and it seems you're mostly concerned with the exception cases where it's not okay to give her the decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a good idea to make your reasons as specific as possible.  If you &lt;strong&gt;know&lt;/strong&gt; she will make a mess beyond her capacity to clean on her own, then you have precedent for that knowledge.  Don't just say, &quot;because you'll make a mess I have to clean.&quot;  Say, &quot;Remember when you tried to bathe the cat in the aquarium?  Carrying a bucket downstairs could make the same kind of mess.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't know for sure, you can give her a chance to prove it with a smaller scale test.  For example, successfully mopping the patio might be a good test to prove she's able to mop up a spill inside.  And she &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; be cleaning her own messes if she is physically capable of doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another approach is to find a way to modify the conditions to make it okay to say yes.  &quot;Cleaning the shelves using a bucket has too much risk of spilling, but you can clean them with a damp rag.  I'll show you how to rinse it and squeeze it out in the sink so you don't make a mess.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that it takes two people to argue.  Being a parent doesn't automatically make kids do what you say.  People who are truly in charge act like it.  It's easier said than done, but if it's your decision you don't argue it back and forth like you require your daughter's consensus.  You listen to valid counterarguments, then state your decision and your reasons, and leave it at that.  If there's a history of wearing you down, or at least stretching a decision out, your child will expect that possibility all the time.  After listening reasonably, make your decision final and ignore any further argument.  If she still presses the point, send her to another room or leave yourself so argument is impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That might sound a little harsh, but if you give your daughter plenty of opportunities to decide other matters for herself, it's actually less cruel to make it clear up front when something is open for negotiation and when it isn't.  The longer it takes to assert a final decision, the more emotional investment you create in the outcome.  If she knows you won't back down, eventually she will stop putting energy into getting you to back down.  If she's less stubborn for her father, her teacher, or other adults, that's why.  She knows when it's a waste of effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-02T20:32:21.000" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10867" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-02T20:52:36.287" Score="8" ViewCount="951" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three-year-old son really enjoyed Christmas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is still talking about how Santa came to our house to fill our stockings &lt;strong&gt;two&lt;/strong&gt; times (my wife put treats in one night, and I put some in two days later), and loves to tell everyone about all the presents he got.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't really pushed the whole &quot;Santa only gives presents to good girls and boys&quot; thing (I'm not a fan of using threats of withholding rewards as a motivation).  However, he's watched a lot of Christmas movies, and definitely knows the theme.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, this has led to him telling his mother or I that we're &quot;on Santa's Naughty List, and aren't going to get any presents&quot;, usually when we're enforcing common rules that he has broken (e.g. &quot;don't leave the dinner table until everyone has eaten&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm mostly concerned with explaining that enforcing the rules isn't &quot;naughty&quot;, but I'm not certain that, at three, he's developmentally ready to really understand this.  Is he?&#xA;What is the best way to respond to this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T20:28:54.603" Title="How do you respond to your pre-schooler when they tell you that you're on Santa's Naughty List?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|santa|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10867" CreationDate="2014-01-03T00:04:56.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the fact that he's talking about it means he's ready for it.  I would try saying what you just wrote, that &quot;Enforcing the rules is never naughty&quot; (in the firm tone of &quot;If you push over the cup, the milk will spill&quot;), and see if you can get away with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T00:04:56.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10869" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-03T00:06:25.903" Score="5" ViewCount="367" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to start by saying, I've seen the question, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3031/2876&quot;&gt;How can we prepare our child for the arrival of adopted siblings&lt;/a&gt; and although I have not looked at every linked resource thoroughly, it looks like a wonderful resource, but my question is a little more specific.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is seven and has wanted a younger sibling for ages, so all of the links on that other question will be relevant and helpful in regard to the part where my daughter thinks this sibling is explicitly for her - and she will definitely need to learn about space (I imagine her thinking she gets to direct everything the other child does and being disappointed when her new sibling isn't interested in the same things she likes) so I am glad to see the question at least partially already here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For this question, I am referring more to the &quot;fostering&quot; portion of what we are doing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concern number 1:  There is a very good chance we will have children in our home who simply need short-term care and who are not available to be adopted, while the child we eventually will adopt is being matched up with us.  How do I help both children when it comes time for &quot;good-bye,&quot; and how do I help my daughter understand good-byes will likely be part of the process?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concern number 2:  Helping my child fully understand why the children who need fostering, need fostering while respecting the foster child's privacy and rights while also helping our biological child develop empathy and tact.  She'll know, at least on some level, that these children are in our home for what are often likely nefarious behavior on the part of a birth parent (or both).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would love to hear from parents that have had personal experience with this, psychiatrists or social workers.  Thanks so much in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2020-12-09T22:37:45.550" Title="We are beginning the process to foster and adopt a second child, how do we temper our first child's expectations?" Tags="|primary-schooler|adoption|foster-parenting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10870" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10875" CreationDate="2014-01-03T01:25:45.987" Score="3" ViewCount="67" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15-month old has 2 long sleeps during the day. From 10am to 12 or 1pm and the second sleep from 3.30pm to 6pm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read around that at this age he should be sleeping around 2 hrs during the day, which means my little one is sleeping up to 3x more!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this bad? Should we wake him up? Anyone with similar experience?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6370" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T08:04:35.513" Title="Sleeping duration for a toddler" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-01-03T13:25:35.957" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10870" CreationDate="2014-01-03T04:33:30.587" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't worry about it&lt;/strong&gt;.  Toddler sleep patterns vary widely, and if he's sleeping OK during the night plus happy when he's awake, all is good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I have a sneaky suspicion that waking up at 6pm means he's still up and bouncing away late into the night?  If yes, for your own sanity, you might try your luck at keeping him up in the morning and merging the two naps into one longer post-lunch nap, which is the usual pattern expected by most child care places etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T04:33:30.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10872" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-03T04:47:55.907" Score="4" ViewCount="36511" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 9 month old, and our rental apartment has an electric baseboard heater, similar to this &lt;a href=&quot;http://cadetheat.com/show_product.php?prodid=1004&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://cadetheat.com/show_product.php?prodid=1004&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/JnWXm.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure it's very dangerous to touch it when it's hot/turned on, but it is attached to the wall very low (the website does say it must be placed lower than the window), and I'm afraid even if we never turn it on, he might get hurt anyway since there's a lot of metal edges. Any idea how to baby-proof this? [bonus] Is there any chance that I can baby-proof and still use it for heat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4192" LastEditorUserId="4192" LastEditDate="2014-01-10T23:12:11.370" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T03:09:06.883" Title="How do I babyproof an electrical baseboard heater?" Tags="|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5480" CreationDate="2014-01-03T07:05:37.413" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 month old son has same problem my dr told me 2 ounces of water mixed with 2 ounces of gerber apple juice works like a charm &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6373" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T07:05:37.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10872" CreationDate="2014-01-03T07:07:06.573" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know the layout of your apartment, but won't some kind of baby fence do the trick?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/sdtny.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;baby fence&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise it'll be difficult to baby proof it, since there has to be a distance between the proofing and the device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on how hot it gets you may be able to use corner or edge softeners with a little help of duct tape (but not the paper/transparent one, a proper thick electrical tape!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/9w7Zk.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;edge proofing&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-01-03T09:31:10.393" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T09:31:10.393" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10870" CreationDate="2014-01-03T07:26:29.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/5356/6061&quot;&gt;Consult this answer&lt;/a&gt;. There's a &lt;a href=&quot;https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/edit?hl=en&amp;amp;authkey=CPXE1bsO&amp;amp;pli=1#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;great chart&lt;/a&gt; linked which contains information about suggested sleep patterns for children of different ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that each child is different. If he is healthy and you are comfortable with his sleep pattern, perhaps there is no need to change anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd consider waking him up earlier, his nap should be finished by 4 PM so that he can more easily fall sleep in the evening. He has trouble with that, hasn't he?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T08:04:35.513" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10876" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-03T12:54:29.613" Score="12" ViewCount="1521" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter sometimes hurts me.  When it's physical, it's pretty much almost always accidental. But sometimes when she's mad, she says mean things that are meant to hurt.  If I say &quot;Ow!&quot; or &quot;That hurt my feelings&quot;, she will automatically say &quot;sorry&quot;, but if she is mad at me that &quot;sorry&quot; will be in an angry &quot;I'm mad at you and you're mean and it's your fault&quot; voice.  If I say that didn't sound sorry, it will just start a long verbal fight between us and things only get worse and I never hear a nice voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastEditorUserId="275" LastEditDate="2014-01-03T16:04:27.823" LastActivityDate="2014-02-25T23:53:08.183" Title="What to do when an eight-year old says &quot;sorry&quot; in a not sorry voice" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10876" CreationDate="2014-01-03T13:11:56.263" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;We demand from my 5yo son he doesn't just say &quot;sorry&quot;, but explicitly explains what he is apologizing for, e.g. &quot;I'm sorry I broke that cup&quot;, &quot;I'm sorry I hurt your leg&quot;. We don't tell him what to apologize for, we simply reject &quot;hollow&quot; apologies until he gets it right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our experience, this helps in a few ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We can easily distinguish between situations where he wasn't at fault due to ignorance; He is unlikely to apologize for hurting my feelings by calling me fat, simply because for him that's just an observation, not an insult.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It forces him to imagine how others experience his behavior. This self reflection is a valuable skill in life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The moment is no longer about him; it is about his victimn, making bad behavior a ineffective way to seek attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="613" LastEditorUserId="613" LastEditDate="2014-01-03T13:26:30.570" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T13:26:30.570" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10869" CreationDate="2014-01-03T16:40:23.307" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the first point, unfortunately there isn't a good way to soften the blow ahead of time.  Children that age live day to day.  You can tell your daughter it's probably temporary, but it won't really hit her until it actually happens.  What they told us in our class is that it's better to try to form an attachment even knowing you'll lose it, than to be afraid to form an attachment at all, which leads to a cold and distant relationship.  Our kids still ask to visit foster kids who haven't lived with us in years, and I don't think that's a bad thing.  They miss them, but it's not a painful loss anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the second point, our permanent children were too young to care.  Curious children we met around your daughter's age would be satisfied with, &quot;They're living with us while their parents learn to be better parents.&quot;  Honestly, you don't have to worry about young kids.  They are naturally open and accepting.  It's &lt;em&gt;adults&lt;/em&gt; who are persistent about that question.  What we tell adults about why our son was in foster care is, &quot;That's his personal business, and we will let him be the one to decide to share it or not with whomever he wants, when he is old enough to understand the ramifications of his choice.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are specific behavior issues to explain, the great thing about children is they're usually satisfied with simple, somewhat vague explanations, like &quot;She's scared of knives because someone tried to hurt her with one before, so she came to live with us so she could be safe.&quot;  Don't act like you're trying to hide something, just be matter of fact about whatever you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T16:40:23.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10879" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-03T18:28:44.250" Score="14" ViewCount="36734" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of recent posts (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/10867/4975&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; one in particular)  reminded me of this question, which I haven't seen asked.  (I searched, too.)  I've dealt with it a few different ways myself, which I'm not happy about, because I think one of the keys to dealing with it properly is to deal with it the same way every time, thereby making this kid's tactic uninteresting and not useful, so they don't keep doing it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would love to see a few really good answers... By preference, things that &lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt; worked (as opposed to theoretical advice) to get &lt;strong&gt;your child&lt;/strong&gt; (or children &lt;strong&gt;you have taught&lt;/strong&gt; or &lt;strong&gt;looked after&lt;/strong&gt;) to either stop saying this (because they find it doesn't get them what they want) or to take the sting out of it for both of you (it hurts both parent and child when the child says mean things to the parent).  And it would be interesting to know the age at which your kid started saying it and the age at which they stopped (or if they stopped), partly because different ages call for different responses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2017-08-07T21:34:24.197" Title="What do you say when your child says &quot;You're mean!&quot;" Tags="|behavior|development|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10879" CreationDate="2014-01-03T18:41:01.870" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I &lt;strong&gt;corrected&lt;/strong&gt; the accusation &quot;you're mean!&quot;, because it's not an accurate statement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It would be mean to stop you doing that just to upset you. You know that isn't my reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other times, I provided a form of agreement and support, typically to something like &quot;that's not fair!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know, you want to X. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then the hardest thing, not adding &quot;but you can't because Y.&quot; Just sharing their disappointment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I pretty much never heard this from my own kids. I never used any of the forms of discipline that encourage parents to act as though they don't care when the kids are upset, or tell the kids that they have chosen a timeout or the like. My kids didn't always agree with the rules or the decisions made by the adults, but they knew and know that they weren't made without thinking of their feelings or in deliberate opposition to their feelings, which is what I think &quot;you're mean!&quot; is all about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T18:15:17.003" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T18:15:17.003" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10867" CreationDate="2014-01-03T18:49:57.373" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I got pushback for corrections at a little older than 3, typically something like &quot;isn't it rude to point out when someone is doing something wrong?&quot; and in fact, it is. If you're at a work event and a random coworker uses the wrong fork or puts their elbows on the table, you are not allowed (by the rules of politeness) to tell them so and certainly not to issue them some sort of command to change their behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I acknowledged the overall rule and then pointed out that parents have an exemption from it, especially at home where no-one else would hear. I sometimes also reminded them that while it hurts a little to be reminded that you've done something wrong, it would be much worse to get all the way to being a grownup without knowing that was wrong, and it's part of my job to teach them these things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a three-year old it's a little tougher, but I might say something like &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Naughty is when you do something wrong on purpose because you don't care. Nobody gets on the naughty list for making a mistake, like [forgetting to X or whatever he just did], or for helping their child remember the rules. Right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-01-03T18:49:57.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10882" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10893" CreationDate="2014-01-03T19:54:52.893" Score="1" ViewCount="2333" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just out of curiosity: at what age is a child ready to play with its first bricks? The light, large, colored wooden ones, like these below?&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/NoweI.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;bricks&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By playing I mean actually creating something of of them: a structure of sorts, animals, corridors, or whatever the imagination suggests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-01-04T08:24:58.257" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T15:48:03.970" Title="When is a child ready to start playing with bricks?" Tags="|development|play-time|motor-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10879" CreationDate="2014-01-04T02:53:53.560" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had my own daughter tell me this as well as a few of the kids I have either cared for or taught in a classroom over the years.  While it is rude of them to say, and could be hurtful to the adult, the first thing is to remind oneself from whence the comment is coming - a disgruntled child angry at being corrected or not getting his or her way.  They rarely really feel that way over-all (even the adolescents who usually use stronger language to essentially say the same thing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I dealt with it was to say, in the moment, &quot;You have a right to think that and I understand you are frustrated.  It is my job to teach you . . . &quot; fill in the end with whatever is most appropriate for the situation  . . . &quot;to pick up your messes - so, you still need to pick up the blocks before we can get out the sand table&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Later, after the anger had passed&lt;/strong&gt;, I would say, &quot;you know it hurt my feelings a little when you said I was mean.  Do you still think I was mean?&quot;  Then, I allow the child to say whatever they need to, paraphrase it and then say, &quot;Since my job is to teach you the right things to do and how to. . .  I don't think I was mean.  But I do understand you were frustrated and didn't like that you had to . . . Is there another way you can tell me you are frustrated about something next time you are feeling that way?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worked pretty well - I've only ever had one toddler tell me I was mean more than once - come to think of it, I never had to have that particular conversation with an adolescent (in more grown-up terms) more than once (surprising though that is - even to me).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T16:11:54.783" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T16:11:54.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10876" CreationDate="2014-01-04T03:20:23.383" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter went through a phase where sorry was very automatic - particularly when it came to forgetting to do something she had clearly been instructed to do or had agreed to do when asked.  The sorries became so automatic they were no longer meaningful at all.  I'll admit that at the time she was five almost six or just barely six, but I spoke to her about the idea that sorry means, &quot;I really didn't mean it and I feel bad that I did and I will do my best not to make the same mistake again.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I talked to her about how using a word too quickly, to easily or too often, actually makes the word less meaningful.  &lt;strong&gt;I made it clear that &quot;sorry&quot; had an implicit promise not to do X thing again&lt;/strong&gt;, and that when she said it and then made the same mistake again, she was now breaking a promise and hurting my sense of trust in her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest having a conversation like this - but &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; during the heat of a fight.  &lt;strong&gt;If you find yourself going back and forth with your daughter, she isn't going to hear and retain any lesson you might offer&lt;/strong&gt; as she is too intently wrapped up in her emotions to do so.  Instead, I suggest each of you &quot;going to your corners.&quot;  Saying something like, &quot;I am feeling very frustrated right now and need a little time to calm down and gather my thoughts&quot; to your child is modeling good emotive communication (and is probably honest).  Both of you can take a &quot;time out&quot; and come back to the conversation when cooler heads have prevailed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, after a discussion like that, she still doesn't apologize in a sincere way - next time it comes up, &lt;strong&gt;she'll have to suffer the consequences of lost trust&lt;/strong&gt;.  Sorry, when you really mean it, can actually be really hard for a lot of people to say (one of the reasons &lt;strong&gt;I am not a proponent of forced apologies or eye-contact&lt;/strong&gt;).  She'll have to answer the question, &quot;how do I get my parent's trust back?&quot; and she may find offering up a meaningful apology is the quickest and easiest way to do that, but she also might surprise you with an interesting alternative.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After I'd spoken about the promise part of an apology with my daughter, if she offered up a trite apology she clearly didn't mean or hadn't thought too much about, I said, &quot;&lt;strong&gt;Should I believe you right now?  What are you actually apologizing for and what promise are you making right now?&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;  This, in essence, created a situation where she had to answer in the way &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10877/2876&quot;&gt;Koert&lt;/a&gt; describes without actually forcing an apology.  Once in awhile she just shrugged at my question (which to me, meant, she wasn't feeling sorry yet, was mad or whatever and needed some more time to mull things over more).  &lt;strong&gt;Either way, I always made sure to say, &quot;I love you&quot; somewhere in the mix whether I was upset or not&lt;/strong&gt;.  She had to hear that question for awhile before she earned back my trust in her apologies (by showing me she meant them).  Now that she has it, she does occasionally still has need to apologize for one thing or another, but &lt;strong&gt;a simple sorry suffices because her history shows me that she means it&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you end your question with: &quot;If I say that didn't sound sorry, it will just start a long verbal fight between us and things only get worse and I never hear a nice voice.&quot; I'm going to assume fights are a problem and recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0380570009&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;How to talk so Kids will Listen, and Listen so They'll Talk&lt;/a&gt;  It really does offer up some good examples and good advice as well as explain a little about why arguing just doesn't get anybody anywhere.  Plus, it is funny.  I'm sure the book has influenced how I've listened to and spoken with my students as well as my daughter, and it has helped the parents of many an adolescent I have known.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also a huge fan of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/7-habits-of-highly-effective-families-stephen-r-covey/1000479490?ean=9780307440853&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families&lt;/a&gt; and find the advice it offers up to the heads of household to be effective in helping parents plot their family's course and deal with the day to day stuff that happens in the trenches in a pretty simple way.  Here is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stephencovey.com/blog/?tag=the-7-habits-of-highly-effective-families&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;blog about the basic concepts outlined in the book.&lt;/a&gt;  We've also used &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0743574672&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Seven Habits of Happy Kids&lt;/a&gt; with my daughter and will probably eventually use the ones for teens with her too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T15:50:07.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10824" CreationDate="2014-01-04T04:09:06.970" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As per the recommendation of the other answer by Mary , we tried crackers(biscuit) as teethers and it worked quite well since if some piece broke while gnawing then it instantly disintegrated with the infant saliva. Also carrots worked well but we had to monitor it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also our baby loves to gnaw a ripe jackfruit bulb. It seems to be the closest  teether alternative which feels like the artificial ones, ofcourse you need to deseed it before giving the infant a large bulb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-04-03T06:43:30.267" LastActivityDate="2014-04-03T06:43:30.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10887" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-04T04:28:22.407" Score="6" ViewCount="1189" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a new mummy and my four-month-old son doesn't get enough breast milk. I weigh him before and after breastfeeding, and found out that he gets only 1-2 oz every 4 hours. He didn't gain that much weight this month as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I spoke to lactation specialist, and she told me to give him a bottle, but he didn't take it. I've been trying it for 2 weeks already. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anybody have the same problem? Could anyone help me out, please?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6378" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-07-26T15:07:55.790" LastActivityDate="2021-10-25T13:46:35.817" Title="What can I do if my 4-month-old baby didn't get enough milk while breastfeeding?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10879" CreationDate="2014-01-04T07:20:02.970" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child will turn 3 in April and hasn't said this exactly yet to me but she will have an emotional outburst out of anger and will shout, &quot;I'm angry!&quot; or &quot;I'm frustrated&quot; when she is frustrated. This is a result of us defining our emotions when the parents feel it themselves. When I feel frustrated, I say aloud, &quot;I'm feeling frustrated&quot; to get me to calm down and to define the feeling for her so she knows what it can look like and what might provoke a person to feel that way. We also define positive emotions (proud, happy, excited).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always taken the approach of talking about our feelings so I ask her why she feels angry to learn her reason or a recap to dig further. I do not disagree and say, &quot;that shouldn't make you angry&quot; or &quot;I don't think I'm mean.&quot; I think that is invalidating their feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter watched Disney's Brave and the daughter says to the mom, &quot;You're a beast!&quot; so she was saying that to me for a bit. I knew it was in jest and knew where it came from. But I would still respond with, &quot;Oh yes Merida said that to her mom because she was angry with her. It really hurt the Queen to hear that. Merida should have talked to her mom about it instead of running away.&quot; She stopped saying it when she forgot about it and we haven't seen the movie for a long time now to remind her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have a zero tolerance for tantrums. We do not entertain any requests if she is throwing a tantrum. We ask her to calm down and to ask again. When she is calm we listen. There is of course the difference of noticing when a child feels slighted and a tantrum from being spoiled from something. Absolutely consistency is key. Many times they do something repetitively to see if they get the same response (just like dropping things from the high chair) :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Also, I had read something before about not bothering to reason with children under 7 but I always gave a reason. Since she was a baby I would say that the #1 rule was she was safe and #2 was she was having fun. So when she cried (and was not yet expressing her emotion at that point to add feeling to the crying), I would just ask, &quot;what's number one?&quot; and she would say &quot;Sydney's safe.&quot; So she knew it was out of love and not me trying to spoil her fun. This has worked very well for us to shorten crying bouts. And I followed with a reason as well, &quot;it's dangerous&quot; or &quot;when your legs get longer, that will be something to try&quot;. Now she is becoming a stiff negotiator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="68" LastEditDate="2014-01-04T07:29:11.063" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T07:29:11.063" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10889" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10892" CreationDate="2014-01-04T07:44:27.070" Score="3" ViewCount="182" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now one and half year old and still refuses to eat anything. She seem to be satisfied by mother's milk itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it okay to remain on breastfeed alone this long, or should we try avoid/stop breastfeeding so that she tries/takes other food? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4866" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T08:43:37.700" Title="How long is it okay for a baby to remain on just breastfeed?" Tags="|food|breastfeeding|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2014-01-07T02:38:02.123" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10867" CreationDate="2014-01-04T07:51:53.147" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a delicate one. Many rules that were followed could be seen as immoral (i.e. Hitler, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Milgram Experiment&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strip_search_prank_call_scam&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Strip Search Call Scam&lt;/a&gt;). The &quot;Strip Search Call Scam&quot; really bothered me as a teenager was one of the victims and when asked why they allowed it to happen they responded (paraphrased by me), &quot;I was always taught to listen to adults.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think we should raise obedient children but children who follow their instincts and are encouraged to fight for what they believe in. I think we get caught up with preparing a child for school and telling them to &quot;always listen to the teacher&quot; but I think there are other ways of handling that like, &quot;Pay attention to the lesson. I can't wait to hear what you learned today.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We teach our daughter (will be 3 in April) that &quot;Santa&quot; is the spirit of giving and anybody can be Santa. So we tell her that Mommy Santa got her this gift and Nana Santa got her that gift. When she gave gifts to her cousins, she was being Santa. I also showed her the Christmas cards we got showing different Santa's and that it is just a costume. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would personally diffuse the image of this one person judging little kids first and in a different setting, not when he is calling you naughty. If he continues to call you naughty, I would say in response something along the lines of,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dinner is when we get together to catch up with everybody and have a little quieter time together without distractions (said this recently when my daughter threw a tantrum when dinner interrupted her watching a show)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We don't throw our Legos because that's how we lose the pieces and we won't have them to play with anymore&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We put our things away so we know where to find them tomorrow&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read that it is not worth reasoning with children under 7 because their emotions are not stable but I disagree. I even reversed a rule on my daughter yesterday which was, &quot;when the paper is white you can use a marker&quot; to avoid bleeding on the next page. I started to feel that this might be inhibiting her creativity so I said, &quot;you can use a marker if you are okay with it bleeding.&quot; Sometimes she uses the marker and sometimes she doesn't. I like giving a reason because it points out cause and effect. Consistency is key so it will take some persistence for a child to adjust to the new rules. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T07:51:53.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10887" CreationDate="2014-01-04T08:06:08.123" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;How are the growth charts? Exclusively breastfed babies have their own growth chart but I never did bother to chart my daughter's on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I exclusively breastfed (save maybe 4x when I tried the bottle because of your exact same situation - feeling the baby wasn't getting enough) until just last December. My daughter will be 3 in April. She used to nurse for 30-60 minutes as an infant so I guess my flow was slow or she wasn't sucking hard enough yet. And she has always been in the single digit percentile for weight but always 75%+ for height. &quot;Tall and thin&quot; is just how she is was what the pediatrician always said. I didn't have an oversupply issue and I was definitely eating a lot to compensate for breastfeeding calories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So long as they are peeing and pooping what they are supposed to at their age, I would not be concerned (in hindsight). I was like you too when I was going through it! You could try squeezing the boob while they are latched to get faster flow. Also you could express a little first before they feed so they get the hind milk (the fattier milk sooner). That is what my lactation consultant suggested to me, not a bottle. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T08:06:08.123" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10889" CreationDate="2014-01-04T08:43:37.700" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The World Health Organization suggests:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;As a global public health recommendation, infants should be&#xA;exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life to achieve&#xA;optimal growth, development and health. Thereafter, to meet their&#xA;evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive&#xA;nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond.&lt;a href=&quot;http://apps.who.int/gb/archive/pdf_files/WHA55/ea5515.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;['Global strategy on infant and young child feeding']&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And goes on to say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants are particularly vulnerable during the transition period when&#xA;complementary feeding begins. Ensuring that their nutritional needs&#xA;are met thus requires that complementary foods be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;timely – meaning&#xA;that they are introduced when the need for energy and nutrients&#xA;exceeds what can be provided through exclusive and frequent&#xA;breastfeeding;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;adequate – meaning that they provide sufficient&#xA;energy, protein and micronutrients to meet a growing child’s&#xA;nutritional needs;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;safe – meaning that they are hygienically stored&#xA;and prepared, and fed with clean hands using clean utensils and not&#xA;bottles and teats;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;properly fed – meaning that they are given&#xA;consistent with a child’s signals of appetite and satiety, and that&#xA;meal frequency and feeding method – actively encouraging the child,&#xA;even during illness to consume sufficient food using fingers, spoon&#xA;or self-feeding – are suitable for age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your breastmilk adjusts to the growing nutritional demands of your child but pediatricians recommend solid food introduction by age 1 (if not 6 months) and aren't expect children to be replacing whole meals when they are 6 months - 12 months. I would introduce solids first before the feeding so that she is a little hungry but not starving and demand the breastmilk. She might take the solids better then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child has increased their feeding frequency, the milk might not be adequate anymore so they try to get more to compensate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she must have lots of teeth so I wonder if she will want to chew. Whereas at 6 months, they just learned swallowing without gagging. When my daughter got more teeth, she preferred more texture. I think the period when they are putting everything in their mouth is a natural way to introduce what we actually should put in our mouth like food and that is probably why solids is suggested at 6 months. She is probably ready as well - has a pincer grasp and all that. She just needs a little stronger nudge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T08:43:37.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10882" CreationDate="2014-01-04T14:17:46.877" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When they can grasp them is the short answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are various stages of play but as a first starting point as soon as they have the coordination to pick them up one by one to begin exploring colour, shape texture and (of course) taste!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Creating structures requires the ability to do imaginative play and is a considerably later developmental stage so I wouldn't expect to see that until much later around 3 years or so based on articles from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lego.com/en-gb/duplo/about&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;LEGO® DUPLO® page&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T14:17:46.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10882" CreationDate="2014-01-04T15:42:53.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on exposure and interest. I buy a lot of building toys because I feel they are really great for imaginative play. I did not start with wooden blocks because I wasn't sure if she would be chucking it at me. We have wooden blocks (passed down from my husband's grandmother who was really into architecture) but I think they must be for adults, the edges/corners are pretty sharp. So I waited until my daughter wasn't putting toys in her mouth anymore to show her those (I didn't want bite marks on them). She was not as interested in those as her other builders but perhaps if that was our only building toy, she would have been. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her first builder toy was a Lego Duplo set around 1 year and 8 months as a Christmas gift. She played with that a bunch but the set didn't have much pieces. Then she saw her friends (who were 3-5 years old) playing with the &quot;normal&quot; Lego's. By 2.5 she was connecting her own Lego's that size and building stuff on her own. We never had to buy another Duplo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I bought a set of Straws and Connectors by Royolco when she was 2 years and 1 month. It is amazing and was an incredible hit. She would put them in but I had to help make sure it was fully engaged. Eventually she was able to put them all the way in. She was building her own stuff by this point - nothing fancy, a &quot;T&quot; or &quot;L&quot; shape to make a steering wheel for whatever I had built but she knew what she was building.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Npo5M.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Royolco&amp;#39;s Straws and Connectors&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My cousin had the Melissa &amp;amp; Doug play bricks (the ones you can step on) at her 2 year old's party and they were building roads with them. I really think it depends on how often they play with these kinds of toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="68" LastEditDate="2014-01-04T15:48:03.970" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T15:48:03.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10895" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11110" CreationDate="2014-01-04T17:56:14.380" Score="11" ViewCount="115350" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is suffering from gas pains. We have taken steps to reduce them, which were moderately successfull. Still, I'd like to know when will baby's gas pains go away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When will the baby stop feeling pain during bowel movements and passing gas? What are your experiences? When did your children stop fussing/crying because of that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T19:22:44.480" LastActivityDate="2019-04-30T14:21:31.623" Title="When do baby's gas pains usually go away?" Tags="|infant|newborn|development|gas|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10896" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-04T18:23:56.743" Score="0" ViewCount="5644" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does any device exist to automatically feed the baby milk, like how a IV (glucose line) continously drips glucose water? I have in fact seen a similar apparatus (not like how I want) in breast pump manuals as additional gear. I don't know what it is called, but it was connected to the breast for mothers who could not get the milk out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally I feel these milk bottles are very old technology and I would like to see a device emanating a pipe which the infant can hold with her hands and suck as and when required, so has anyone tried such devices or are there any similar devices to replace the plain old feeding bottles?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-14T13:43:28.860" LastActivityDate="2018-12-14T13:43:28.860" Title="Are there automatic dripping milk feeders?" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10897" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10899" CreationDate="2014-01-04T19:23:24.817" Score="5" ViewCount="481" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daugther is nearly 6 years old and my son just turned 2. How can I make my son stop hitting and biting and throwing things at my daughter? Should I let her deal with him on her own or step in? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6384" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-13T12:13:31.580" LastActivityDate="2019-08-14T11:51:37.720" Title="How to make my 2-year-old son stop being violent towards his older sister?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|primary-schooler|siblings|violence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10896" CreationDate="2014-01-04T19:33:35.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer your question: I can't imagine for a moment that anyone sells anything like that. I'm no doctor, but from my personal experience, an automatic drip milk dispenser doesn't approximate any biological function.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottles are old technology yes. But that doesn't mean it's outdated or can be made 'more efficient'. Millions of years of trial and error have lead to a human machine that you know and love. And the whole purpose for a bottle to begin with is to be a reasonable facsimile of the breast. The mother is then free to reset the bear traps or change the blade on the bandsaw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="1649" LastEditDate="2014-01-04T19:45:21.827" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T19:45:21.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10897" CreationDate="2014-01-04T20:17:31.053" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For your first question, the best way to deal with your 2-year-old's behavior when he harms his older sister is probably to move him away and gently tell him that we don't hit/bite/kick/throw things, etc.  Then move him to an alternative activity away from his sister.  If you want, you could start trying time-outs with him (generally 1 minute for every year of age is the recommendation so he would get a 2 minute time out).  I say this with a warning:  I tend to think that most 2-year-olds don't really &quot;get&quot; the whole time out thing until they're closer to age 3ish and sometimes even later.  So for the first little while whenever you put him in time out, you'll probably need to be prepared to sit with him in time out or be prepared to continuously send him back to time out because he'll get up.  And he will probably continue attempting to attack his sister for awhile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The root of the behavior is probably not malicious.  He's probably angry because his language skills aren't sophisticated enough to express what he really wants to do and that's frustrating.  You can help this some by encouraging his language skills and talking to him about feeling angry and sad and upset.  For example, you might say, &quot;I know you're angry because your sister is playing with the toy that you want to play with right now, but we do not hit people.&quot; Or something along those lines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your elder child, it's probably a little outside the abilities for most 6-year-olds to deal with their younger sibling's behavior like this on their own on a regular basis.  Instead, I would teach her (and I've been trying to teach my almost-6-year-old this as well...it's a process) that whenever her sibling harms her she needs to move away from him and go do something else.  This helps to reinforce to her brother (even though he doesn't know it) that if he treats her badly then they can't play together or sit together or whatever.  She can even say to him &quot;I'm not going to sit with you anymore because you hit me&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The difficulty in this approach is that it can be hard for a 6-year-old to stop playing with something and move to another room or something.  They don't see the benefit of moving themselves out of the situation--only that they have to stop playing with the toy.  If you can get her to use this, though, it could mean that you don't always have to step in every time something happens.  The consequence for hitting was immediate (your daughter went away) and your son no longer gets to interact with her for awhile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, I have found that my daughter (my younger child who is 3 1/2) is much more physically aggressive with her brother than my son was in general (he will turn 6 in a month).  He was NEVER a biter/hitter/kicker/etc., but she has been known to smack, hit, throw things, etc.  I know this sounds crazy, but I think a lot of her frustration comes from the fact that she thinks that her brother is the best thing in the whole wide world and she doesn't always understand why he doesn't want to play with her ALL THE TIME.  Or why his toys aren't always appropriate for her to play with.  Or why he gets upset when he spends a lot of time building an elaborate Lego construction which she promptly tears apart.  I just try to encourage him to be patient with her and to take a time out from her from time to time if he needs it (go to his room and play with toys there, read a book, play with the iPad, watch an episode of something on TV, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T20:17:31.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8357" CreationDate="2014-01-04T20:19:03.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hasn't been a lot of posts in this thread... my opinion on that is because I think people see it as a lost cause. To answer your question, I think the situation is beyond fixing it yourself. I would suggest getting a professional involved, child psych.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me put this out here based on my own experience with my own kids: At this point with my 10, I'm working on personal motivation and responsibility, helping him discover &lt;em&gt;himself&lt;/em&gt; what makes him tick, external interpersonal relationships (read: dealing with bullies and cute girls) and a number of other specifics. All of these topics are based on the foundational aspects of general respect, following rules and personal responsibility. By 10 years old, a parent/child relationship should be &lt;em&gt;well beyond&lt;/em&gt; these foundations. You are not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's some tough love: If you're trying to talk sense to him and he's of the opinion that it's acceptable to &lt;em&gt;turn and walk away, then your relationship with him is already damaged.&lt;/em&gt; He is 10 years old, he's not respecting you as a parent, he's not respecting your thoughts or opinions (let alone attempts at discipline), and he's selfishly putting his current sense of self (where he's experienced zero of the world) above your knowledge and experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore anything you say to him, at any time, could lead to him walking away. If you think for a moment that you're making progress and happen to push a button the right way, he will likely turn and walk away rather than admit to anyone, especially himself, that a person he doesn't respect is right and he wasn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your relationship is damaged, but not irrevocable. He's only 10 and he's still learning about the world. The goal here is to help him understand that you're there to help him with it. That he can learn from your experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time I write this, you've already selected an answer. However, I urge you to seek a pro, someone that deals with teens and families. You'll sit there for an hour, boxed in, no walking away, dealing face to face and working things out with a neutral 3rd party. And I mean neutral... they're not on your side, they're there to &lt;em&gt;help you&lt;/em&gt; fix your relationship and that will take work on both your parts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T20:19:03.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10896" CreationDate="2014-01-04T20:19:03.737" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean but this is what it made me think of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/wRsLy.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While googling for that image, I came across this one which looks like the thing I think you're requesting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/uYx68.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didni't think such a thing &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; existed, but hey, &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00A26VGPA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;you can buy &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; on Amazon!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;$6.99 &amp;amp; FREE Shipping on orders over $35.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm surprised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T20:19:03.737" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10867" CreationDate="2014-01-04T20:28:54.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is basic reasoning:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;&lt;strong&gt;I'm&lt;/strong&gt; on Santa's naughty list? I asked you to pick up your toys and you're the one that wouldn't do it, not me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Now stop the noise and pick up your toys.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This kinda thing worked for me. Absolute must: firm restatement of the original enforcement. It basically says &quot;your attempt at deflection won't work here&quot; and that regardless of what he thinks or says he's going to have to do what you said anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T20:28:54.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10896" CreationDate="2014-01-04T21:02:17.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Ap1jb.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After some search I got this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.makesfunofstuff.com/2011/04/the-bottles-that-were-supposed-to-change-my-life/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;podee bottle feeder&lt;/a&gt; which seems to be something similar to what I was searching for. Also the picture I saw on in the manuals was this , and is called &lt;a href=&quot;http://watanabe.fastmail.jp/sns.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;SNS&lt;/a&gt; generally used by adoptive mothers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/cWGHM.gif&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000GLKA9Y&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;podee bottle feeder&lt;/a&gt; seems to be an interesting invention going by the reviews on amazon. Unfortunately this is not available in our country , hence still searching for DIY solutions for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another one which appears to work well as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bebebottlesling.com/video/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;shown in their videos&lt;/a&gt;, probably this can be done DIY:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/66ciP.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-01-04T21:23:55.450" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T21:23:55.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8357" CreationDate="2014-01-04T23:01:00.067" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's easy enough to shut off his computer. &lt;strong&gt;Remain calm&lt;/strong&gt;, and take the power cord or the keyboard. He may scream, shout, curse, lock himself in his room, but if you can't take that for a couple of days, he's already won. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And about him locking himself away . . . it's really easy to remove a door. Just &lt;strong&gt;remain calm&lt;/strong&gt;. Whatever you do, &lt;strong&gt;remain calm&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for him respecting your authority, he won't because you don't have any. You need to forget &quot;authority&quot; and move on towards addressing his behavior. &lt;strong&gt;Remain calm&lt;/strong&gt; yourself, and consider you and he may very well need professional help. I know of kids* who behaved like this, and turned out to have serious emotional problems. Of course, I know others that didn't, but it's an important question to ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Remain calm&lt;/strong&gt; yourself. Two angry, screaming people is a lot worse than one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*I've been teaching eighth grade for 28 years. I've seen thousands of kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-01-04T23:06:06.307" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T23:06:06.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10887" CreationDate="2014-01-04T23:13:22.520" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your pediatrician is happy with the rate he's gaining weight, relax. If you pediatrician is not happy, she may suggest putting him on some sort of supplementary nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-01-04T23:13:22.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10825" CreationDate="2014-01-05T02:39:29.270" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I've always done is talk to my kids like they're just another person. I don't talk cute or baby, I talk words and I have appropriate expectation that they can deal with what I say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a situation that is not only about who's runnin the joint -- @RoryAlsop's point -- but also about general interaction with a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What are you crazy? You can't talk to a 6 mo old!&quot; Wrong. You can absolutely talk to a 6 mo old, what you can't do is have much expectation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a known fact that reading to a baby that age is absolutely a positive thing for their mental development. Telling a baby &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Just a moment - I'll finish this and then come and play&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And being adamant about it with physical signals&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Dude... just a moment!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is far less complex than Red Fish Blue Fish. With repetition &amp;amp; consistency, the baby will understand &quot;just a moment&quot; long before they say their first word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Immediate term, saying &quot;Just a moment&quot; to a 6 mo old means that you'll probably have a 7 mo old that comes to see what you're doing, a 2 yr old that knows that &quot;Just a moment&quot; means there are boundaries to your relationship, and an 8 yr old that knows how to wait patiently and respect other peoples space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last thing is a reminder to new parents: Patience. The baby is 6 mos old. You only have about 2 years of this to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you know what else? If that one chore doesn't get done, the baby is not gonna care. Lighten up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T02:39:29.270" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10907" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-05T11:46:08.940" Score="3" ViewCount="2094" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is 2 years and 8 months old. From last 2 weeks he has totally lost his interest in eating. In a day he hardly eats anything, for example 3-4 strawberries, few nuts and just a bite from some other snack. His milk intake is almost the same which is 500-600ml a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have already consulted a doctor and she doesn't see anything wrong with him.&#xA;I am extremely worried about his appetite loss; if somehow we convince him to take a bite of what used to be his favorite eatables (like banana, cashew etc.) he just spit it out. He has also lost more than 1 kg of weight. He is already under weight and now only weighs 11.2 kg . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I deal with this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6386" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-12T12:08:06.797" LastActivityDate="2019-06-12T12:08:06.797" Title="How to make my 32-month-old regain his interest in eating when he starts to lose weight?" Tags="|toddler|health|eating|weight|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10907" CreationDate="2014-01-05T13:05:09.107" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thoughts based on experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have taken him to the doctor and been told they found nothing wrong, but if this persists, do not be afraid to take him back to the doctor, especially with your concerns of additional weight loss.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you do not have faith that your doctor is correct for whatever reason, you perhaps can see another doctor for a second opinion. Doctors diagnose, in part, based on the history of patients they have seen before. A different doctor may see things that the first one does not recognize.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children do go through phases of eating and not eating, usually before or after growth  spurts. Each child has his own pattern here. So your doctor may be right that there is nothing to be concerned about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep a journal of any symptoms you observe. Additional information may shed light on the cause. In particular, keep an eye on his output - bowel movements and urination. If he is having unusual bowel movements (particularly small volume, runny in consistency), he could have a blockage (so only little bits of excrement are managing to get past the blockage). A common side effect of blockage is reduced appetite.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure your child does not become dehydrated. It is good that he is still taking milk. If he is becoming dehydrated, you will notice a decrease in urination and also possibly sunken eyes. Perhaps offer sips of water throughout the day to make up for any shortage of fluid in his diet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Another thing to watch is his energy and concentration level. If he is playing normally and seems able to concentrate at normal levels, then it is more likely that this is a normal developmental phase.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2014-01-05T14:49:27.027" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T14:49:27.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10896" CreationDate="2014-01-05T14:01:16.493" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd strongly discourage using such devices. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, it introduces bad feeding habits. Your baby will learn that it can feed whenever it wishes. Once it grows out of the crib you're going to have a very hard time attempting to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; feed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, and this is just an opinion, I think that the parent-to-child contact while feeding is very important. The very act of feeding should not be reduced to an automated task, it should be a process in which the baby bonds with parents. A bottle still requires closeness and reasurring touch. Baby should not only feel fed, it should feel safe and loved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, when I see such devices I can't stop imagining farms and thousands of animals just being born, fed, growing, and then being slaughtered. A baby definitely does not fit this picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T14:01:16.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10879" CreationDate="2014-01-05T14:05:14.967" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard that one! My response was always, &quot;Mmm.&quot; In one small sound I conveyed that I had heard them, I wasn't going to argue with them (they are entitled to their opinion after all), and I was not changing my mind about whatever it was they were unhappy about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;You're mean!&quot; is a child telling you he is angry and that he disagrees with you. He is using inflammatory language that is designed to upset you, to engage you in defense, to divert you, or to get you to change your mind. If you engage (even by explaining your reasons), the tactic has worked and he will continue to employ it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-01-05T14:05:14.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10907" CreationDate="2014-01-06T02:57:43.390" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This kind of problem actually was one of the problem that I was afraid of that this will happened to my first son. Especially when our kid get sick, they tend to have a low interest in eating. But thankfully, I already anticipated earlier since my wife was breastfeeding my first son. The key to this problem only related to these two foods : honey and dates.&#xA;Since my wife having pregnancy for the first time, I always asked my wife to eat honey and dates twice a day. And keep doing it when my son is entering breastfeeding phase.&#xA;Now the result is my wife and I having trouble in handling his high appetite even when he got sicks.&#xA;From this experience, I suggest you to start giving your kid to eat honey/dates. If he/she didn't want also, when he/she is sleeping, I suggest you to apply the honey to his/her lips. I hope this could give you another solutions to your problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T02:57:43.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10907" CreationDate="2014-01-06T03:37:48.887" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids went through cycles of constant hunger followed by reduced appetites. As long as liquid goes in and liquid comes out, there's unlikely to be anything wrong. You could weigh him once a week and see that he's not really getting smaller, and you'd feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T03:37:48.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10916" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-06T03:42:43.750" Score="7" ViewCount="328" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been co-sleeping since my daughter was a newborn until last month when we finally converted a small room to be her room. She is 32 months old. She has her own Twin bed now. The problem is: I can't sleep without being next to her. I have always been a terrible sleeper - taking an hour or two laying there to fall asleep. When we had the baby, I couldn't sleep when we put her in the crib because I was paranoid not hearing her breathe even though she was in the same room. So we co-slept and my mind was at ease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result I have become an incredibly light sleeper. I was never a deep sleeper to start but because of co-sleeping, the tiniest movements or sounds could wake me. Now when I try to sleep in the next room, I feel like I am just waiting for her to call me in the middle of the night and I go and sleep with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wanted to go on an overnight with a girlfriend but I am afraid I won't be able to sleep and it will be a miserable trip. I feel like I need to get over this before I do that so I don't waste my money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things to note: I am the primary person doing the bedtime routine but my husband does participate more on the weekends when he is home earlier to read her books. I am also pregnant so I won't take sleeping pills or the like. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am training her to stay in her room for bedtime without me laying there now. But the problem is how will &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; sleep? Anybody else go through this? What did you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T12:34:57.017" Title="How to wean a parent from co-sleeping?" Tags="|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10917" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-06T04:29:57.250" Score="6" ViewCount="418" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old niece is very sensitive to the tone of your voice and hates confrontation. She cries &lt;strong&gt;all out&lt;/strong&gt; if she is scolded or if your tone is even remotely unhappy. I think she figured out that if she does this, a punishment if any gets thrown away and she gets coddled by a grandparent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it too young to have her try to handle her own social situations? These are situations with her younger brother who is 2 years old and her cousin (my daughter) 2.75 years old and at home. So I figure this is good practice for the playground? She does not go to day-care/school yet. When she asks me for help, I tell her that she and the other kid need to figure out a solution together (not in those exact words). Sometimes they do come up with a solution. If she doesn't get the compromise she wants, she gets another adult to help. I am in the same room to hear what they come up with but not obviously observing just listening in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I ease up and just intervene when she asks me to because of her age? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Could she have problems coping with not getting her way (maybe from the 2 years spent on giving in to her younger brother's needs)? Is this a personality trait or an exposure issue? Or is this what being 4 years old is like?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-01-08T08:11:54.733" LastActivityDate="2014-11-02T15:50:09.773" Title="Is 4 years old too young to expect them to try to handle their own social situations during play at home?" Tags="|pre-schooler|social-development|problem-solving-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10824" CreationDate="2014-01-06T04:46:18.427" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could blend a fruit puree into an ice cube tray, freeze them, then put them in the fruit mesh bags like these. &#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/WOvu2.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You would have control over the recipe and the mesh bag would prevent the baby from getting more than they can handle. This would be messier especially now that it's not a whole fruit and actually a dripping ice cube. Strawberries/cherries/blueberries stain clothes very easily. So maybe stick with apples/pears. You could swap out the ice cube for a fresh one when it got too liquefied. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did cold carrots for my daughter like Mary Jo said, giving her the fat end. She never chewed too much of it but of course she was monitored when she had the carrot. We also used the plastic teethers that you put in the fridge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="68" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T07:04:58.837" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T07:04:58.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2014-01-06T04:58:01.547" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Skin Care&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child has eczema so we also have a lotion routine we do as part of our bedtime routine. I have her apply it now as part of her taking care of her body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="68" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T07:06:54.173" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T07:06:54.173" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-01-06T04:58:01.547" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2014-01-06T04:59:45.460" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Changing into Pajamas&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just like a costume, pajamas vs. play clothes let them know they are switching roles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T04:59:45.460" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-01-06T04:59:45.460" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10916" CreationDate="2014-01-06T06:55:14.177" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will offer thoughts on my plan:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just like my daughter, I think it just takes getting used to and I just need to practice. Also I think adults could benefit from a bedtime routine as well which I don't have. I also don't have a set wake up time so I would implement that as well as being conscious of other factors:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eating 3 hours before bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;doing a non-stimulating activity to wind down such as reading or yoga/meditation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;setting a time restriction for the computer/phone&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;adding more exercise to my day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T06:55:14.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10922" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-06T07:16:46.313" Score="6" ViewCount="43729" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 6 month old infant does not seem to understand that the breast milk feeding bottle is for sucking and not chewing or soothing. She does not suck it but chews it instead, despite having no teeth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes her mother has difficulty breast feeding as she sometimes tries to chew her mothers nipple, though she sucks well if she is sleeping. She is correctly latched on to her mother's breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I train my infant baby to suck instead of chewing the teat of her feeding bottle? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also tried applying pressure to the bottle to generate a steady stream of milk, which she enjoys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4877" LastEditDate="2014-05-02T05:51:20.650" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T17:14:30.913" Title="How can I teach my infant to start sucking bottle teats instead of chewing them?" Tags="|infant|feeding|bottle-feeding|teething|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10923" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-06T07:27:35.647" Score="2" ViewCount="381" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a mother gets pregnant within 2 months of a newborn, and wants to continue breastfeeding then what precautions she should take during the later trimesters? Will the newborn or the foetus be affected? And is it safe to breastfeed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-22T13:39:13.197" LastActivityDate="2019-02-22T13:39:13.197" Title="Is it safe to breastfeed an infant while being pregnant?" Tags="|infant|safety|breastfeeding|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10922" CreationDate="2014-01-06T07:28:49.050" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some suggestions you could explore:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try another brand until you find one that works. A lot of people I know who breastfed and did bottle feeding had success with the Playtex bottles that have a disposable bag you put the milk in. I think the suction to the bag simulated the breast better perhaps?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There are corresponding ages for the flow speed so perhaps double check you have the right artificial nipple first. Maybe hers is a flow for newborns?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mom should unlatch and withdraw the breast from their mouth fully when baby bites so baby associates biting with the breast being taken away. She should definitely not endure the pain while nursing as the nipple can get bruised making it even more pain to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-17T12:56:33.417" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T12:56:33.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10923" CreationDate="2014-01-06T07:39:36.620" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Typically it is not the later trimesters you are worried about but the first trimester to be sure her body has had enough time to recover from the first pregnancy to carry a new child. The risk for miscarriage drastically decrease after the first trimester but I have heard of a 20-week miscarriage and it was a woman whose pregnancies were close together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For breastfeeding, the body is already used to the hormones if she was breastfeeding before getting pregnant (vs. started when she conceived new baby) so it is safe to breastfeed during a pregnancy. However, since the new pregnancy is so close to the prior, I would definitely consult with a medical professional for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="68" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T07:39:36.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7966" CreationDate="2014-01-06T07:54:03.927" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My step dad is a very good. I respect him to the fullest.  Everything can work out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am 13. I trust he has my back; no matter what, I love him  a lot.  I have only known him for  six months, but it feels like I have known him for my whole life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6397" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T13:15:54.577" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T13:15:54.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10916" CreationDate="2014-01-06T12:34:57.017" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;To add to Rhea's answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are special excersises for preagnant women. They are designed to be safe for both future mommy and her baby, are beneficial for your health (and therefore for your baby's health) and,  which is why I'm writing this here, &lt;strong&gt;being moderately physically tired will help you go to sleep&lt;/strong&gt;. You must watch out not to over exercise during first few sessions, at least until you know your capabilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try some herbal teas. &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melissa_officinalis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Melissa&lt;/a&gt; is safe when drunk in reasonable amounts. If in doubt, ask your doctor if you can drink one cup in the evening. It should help you soothe your mind and let you fall asleep more easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T12:34:57.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10907" CreationDate="2014-01-06T13:38:33.937" Score="4" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Disclaimer: I Am Not A Doctor&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recommendations regarding &quot;see another doctor&quot; are spot-on. Given the weight loss I suggest having him evaluated by an allergy specialist, particularly looking for an allergy to gluten. Our daughter (now 12) was having a great deal of difficulty with digestive issues and stopped growing at age 3. Once we found she was allergic to gluten (part of wheat, barley, and rye) we eliminated it from her diet and she's been fine since. This may not be the problem with your son but since it's often overlooked it might be good have the blood test performed. In our case the blood test indicated that she had the allergy; the doctor then wanted to do an intestinal biopsy, which required general anesthesia, which we declined to do - we didn't feel that it was appropriate to subject a four-year-old to general anesthesia, and since eliminating gluten from her diet produced immediate improvements in behavior, food intake, and  growth we decided the more invasive procedure was not needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And yes, I'm aware that in recent years gluten has gotten a bad name, and eliminating gluten from the diet has become something of a fad. For those who are not allergic getting rid of gluten will do no harm but probably won't do any good. However, for those who &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; allergic to it, such as my daughter, eliminating gluten can only be beneficial).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6398" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T13:38:33.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10917" CreationDate="2014-01-06T16:05:41.910" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being four is really different between kids and your guesses as to the cause of your niece's sensitivity are probably &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; accurate to some degree some of the time.  The main thing is that she have people around her to guide her (with principles like Karl Bielfeldt offers) and with love.  Her sesnitive side just means she will receive your corrections and guidance better when you use an even tone, low emotive posturing and present her with a lot of questions instead of directives.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other point, asking a four-year-old to deal with two, two year olds effectively, is probably not fair to the four-year-old.  However, I wouldn't say your idea of asking her to see if she can figure it out is all wrong either.  Practice at independent action is how one eventually gains independence.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two year old (even the one who is almost three) children are not reasonable yet (usually).  This means that even if the four year old is using perfectly reasonable language and aiming for a very nice compromise, she is likely to face frustrating and unreasonable responses from her younger cousins.  She needs some help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, even a four year old is not going to consistently be reasonable, but offering the opportunity for &quot;figuring it out yourselves&quot; while you watch the exchange to this age group &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; a lot more appropriate when adults are around to help.  It also sets her at a better advantage to practice with kids as close to her own age (or older kids you trust to set a good example and act as mentors).  I'd watch, and when intervention or feedback is needed, be there to offer it (act as moderator, but don't negotiate &lt;strong&gt;for&lt;/strong&gt; them as often as possible).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I &lt;strong&gt;do&lt;/strong&gt; also suggest offering suggestions about coping with two-year-olds to your niece.  For example, if &lt;strong&gt;she&lt;/strong&gt; is wanting to play with something like blocks and the two year old keeps knocking over &lt;strong&gt;her&lt;/strong&gt; tower, I'd help her re-locate to a table top where the two-year-old will have a harder time reaching the blocks.  When my daughter was four and we had younger children around, I taught her about &quot;redirecting&quot; where she could try to trade with a two year old (or younger) that had just taken a toy she wanted to play with.  This prevented her from just snatching and is a negotiation technique that often works well with younger children.  By showing her some of these kinds of techniques I taught her how to help herself at least some of the time, but never expected her to be able to employ them successfully and on her own with any sort of regularity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-06T23:18:05.107" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T23:18:05.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2014-01-06T16:07:08.013" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give them choices!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We follow the &quot;Love and Logic&quot; parenting technique (www.loveandlogic.com, and LOVE it) which speaks about giving kids a much control as possible so that parents can take control when needed…i.e. I have given you many choices and now it is my turn to make a choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along these lines, one of the things that has worked well with our three year-old is to give her choices of how they want their room…like &quot;would you like your light on or off when I leave?&quot;, &quot;would you like me to leave the door open or closed?&quot;. Even silly things like asking which pillows she wants in her crib have become part of our ritual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately keep to a routine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6401" LastEditorUserId="11897" LastEditDate="2015-10-26T01:56:23.127" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T01:56:23.127" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-01-06T16:07:08.013" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10935" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-06T19:00:16.470" Score="14" ViewCount="3273" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apparently, I'm doing something wrong or I don't know how to connect with my child properly... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a lovely 5,5 years old daughter, who is an absolutely cute and non-problematic girl at a kindergarten, with my boyfriend, with my parents, but not with me. &#xA;As soon as I appear, she becomes very whiny, ego-centric and defiant. She wants something, she wants it now, and she keeps repeating it constantly. She can't accept that something is not like SHE wants it to be. No matter what form we choose to deliver our decision, doesn't accept it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I ask her to do something or remind her that soon it's time to do something, she refuses. &#xA;I have tried everything:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;listening and mirroring her feelings -&gt; she just keeps saying &quot;but I want this&quot; or refuses to do what she's asked (&quot;No, I won't clean my toys)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;removing the privileges and explaining why they are removed and how she can get them back -&gt; she calms down, does what she is asked, promises not to do so and after some time misbehaves again&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;give her warnings and timeout -&gt; she throws a tantrum, hits the door, yells, then does the same as in 'removing the privileges' point&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;spanking -&gt; I guess, no additional commentary on the efficiency of this method is needed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;asking how she would feel if I behaved the same way -&gt; she says she wouldn't like it and it's not good to behave that way but still does it after some time passes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;giving her choices -&gt; she simply chooses what is not listed, e.g. I ask &quot;will you clean your toys before lunch or after?&quot; and the answer is &quot;I won't clean them, I don't want to&quot;. And if I say that such an answer wasn't among the offered options, she will respond something like &quot;But I don't want to do it anyway&quot;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;explaining the consequences in various situations, even the consequences of her own choices (and letting those consequences become real) -&gt; no effect whatsoever&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a feeling that she simply doesn't listen to me and literally doesn't hear me (though her hearing is ok, because unwrapping the candy or chips pack gets her attention even from another room). If I ask her what did I just say, she can't answer to me, she stares silently or says she doesn't remember or says something completely different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also likes to be in control of everything, when we are doing something together and I try to correct her even in a very mild manner or simply say that this should be done differently, she acts very emotionally and wants that we do it her way. Same goes with role-playing or any games that have certain rules, she doesn't want to follow those rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are not able to go out with her anywhere, because every time it's a horrible experience for everyone - she doesn't listen, she keeps repeating what she wants and it drives me nuts. &#xA;I am seriously thinking if I need to be checked, because I get very angry with this behavior. Sometimes I even don't want to come home from work, it feels like battlefield for simple routine things like eating, cleaning her room, going out, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that I am a control freak myself and I have worked on that to be softer with her and not to demand so much, to lower my expectations but is it too much to expect if I say &quot;Please walk slower, you're running and the dog gets too aroused&quot; or &quot;I can't play with you now, I'm busy, we'll play when I finish&quot; and want her to understand that I really mean it and I need this behavior at this particular moment? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6180" LastActivityDate="2019-07-29T18:44:58.637" Title="Ego-centric kid or control-freaked mum?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10917" CreationDate="2014-01-06T19:06:26.307" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Different children naturally handle conflict differently, even those with the same parents.  I don't think you can draw any conclusions about discipline by watching a child's reaction.  Also, for better or worse, a lot of (maybe even most) parents go easier on their children when company is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The general principle of expecting children to solve their own problems is a good one, but it's not something children can handle alone overnight.  They need to be taught how the principles of fairness, sharing, and atoning for your mistakes apply in different situations, and they need the guidance of an adult for that, for quite a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without adult guidance, the advantage skews to the child who is more aggressive or the child who is more adept at manipulating the rules to their favor.  For example, my son will say things like, &quot;Mom and Dad want us to share, so you need to let me play with your new birthday present right now.&quot;  If the other child acquiesces, technically they have solved their own problem, but not in a fair way.  It sounds like some of that is going on with cousins using the rules you gave your daughter to avoid sharing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So rather than just telling them to fix it themselves, try to give them the guiding principle to apply in that situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;You broke my tower after I asked you not to.  What do you think you should do to make it better?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;How do you think you would feel if you had a brand new birthday toy?  What's another way you could have something to play with, without taking a new toy from someone else?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the principles you give should focus on things the child you're instructing can change, which is her own behavior.  Yes, you're intervening, but intervening to force one child to do what another child wants should be rare, such as when correcting an injustice like one child hitting another to take his toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a tricky balance to strike.  You want your child to be comfortable coming to you with problems, and know you have her back, but you also want her to have the tools to deal with those situations when you're not around.  Fortunately, you have plenty of time to prepare her for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how much intervention is appropriate with your niece versus your own child, I agree with @balancedmama that it's really a separate question, but in a nutshell, I think if the child is specifically coming to you, you should treat it the same as a request from your own child, unless her parents have asked you differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T19:06:26.307" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10860" CreationDate="2014-01-06T20:23:09.127" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;As you probably guessed, yelling doesn't work, she yells right back, and we don't beleive in smacking kids. &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe this is your problem.  You've ruled out a disciplining tactic that has worked for thousands of years, and I'm not sure why.  You have to be the parent in this situation and be the one in charge.  You're not her friend, you're not her therapist, you're not her cheerleader... you're her parent.  By the way, if she wants to clean shelves (she WANTS to do chores?) why on Earth would you stop her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6403" LastActivityDate="2014-01-06T20:23:09.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10935" CreationDate="2014-01-07T00:44:03.120" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me begin by reassuring you that you are far from alone.  Many kids are far better behaved for their teachers, day care workers, other family members etc. etc.  They test the ones that are with them most, love them the dearest etc (they know your buttons better than anyone's after all).  At five and a half, your daughter is also experiencing a big year (if in the states) starting K at 5 can be quite a change in academic expectation and exhausting on top of everything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, for whatever reason, it is reasonably common (at least in my experience) for mothers and daughters to rub each-other the wrong way while the father of the same daughter will make everyone that sees them, sick with envy at how well behaved the daughter is (and vice versa for mothers and sons).  I think in reality, the problem is really that we have the hardest time with the kids that are most like ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, give yourself a break and don't compare her behavior with you to her behavior with others.  It isn't just you that is different, but the combination of the two of you with your own unique relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that: you start out by questioning how connected you are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure you haven't lost your sense of humor&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moms get chained in as the main disciplinarian quite often these days.  We keep everyone (including husbands/boyfriends) on schedule, healthy, clean, the house cleaned, fed. . .  and it can be easy to get too serious.  However, kids need us to laugh and have fun with them too - often, the best way to win over a difficult kid is to start laughing with them again.  I wrote this blarticle, &lt;a href=&quot;http://pinchxeverything.blogspot.com/2012/05/how-to-be-coolest-parent-in-town-five.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;How to Be the Coolest Parent in Town&lt;/a&gt;, a long time ago (I'm not even keeping the blog anymore) but maybe the &quot;Silly Things&quot; part of the article will have an inspiring idea for you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take a Day To Reconnect&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Since it also appears you've made an attempt at just about anything that would normally be suggested I suggest a &quot;clean slate day.&quot;  Take some time out to go have some fun, just the two of you to get re-connected.  Spend all day together, starting with a breakfast out.  Do some silly things during your day as well as some serious.  Take a walk in the park, go to a matinee or your daughter's favorite sporting event, go have a spa experience together (even just get both of you a shampoo and trim, but make it feel like a big-girl spa experience) or whatever seems it would suit your fancy as well as hers.  While you are out, at a relaxed moment, talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;honey, I've been feeling like we've lost our connection and I want to get it back because I love you so much and want everything that is best for you.  What do you think about that?&quot;  (or something like it)  See what she says - you may need to be quiet for some time.  She is probably feeling the frustration too so when she &lt;strong&gt;does&lt;/strong&gt; share, just listen and paraphrase.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When You Get Back To Reality&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;It is time to be consistent.  Pick one method to use with her (or an appropriate combination of methods) and then stick with it.  Getting used to a new type of discipline often takes time, so switching from one to another abruptly or too often can actually be confusing.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Giving Choices&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I recommend combining choices (as in the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.loveandlogic.com/c-11-ages-7-12.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Love and Logic Method&lt;/a&gt;) with natural consequences.  I know you've already tried each of these, but both can be a bit tricky - especially to do consistently - and tough to switch to.  If you  give it time - especially with the support of others around you though, I think you will find it will work wonders.  Spend some time really getting to know the Love and Logic Method.  You can probably find these books at the library if you don't want to buy them but there are some commonly made mistakes (like giving one choice and a threat that isn't really a choice) and things to avoid that can undermine your efforts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did offer my daughter one additional layer after she hit five and started to do the same thing as yours for a little while - &quot;but I don't like either choice.&quot;  I felt it was a good transition and everyone should know how to compromise so I taught my daughter about &quot;win-win solutions.&quot;  You can point out that if she doesn't like the choices you have offered, she can offer another win-win solution, choose the option she can tolerate most, or continue to whine and let you choose for her (which officially would fall into that &quot;threat&quot; category, but it worked for us).  With my daughter, if she simply whined about her choices, I just said, in a matter-of-fact tone, not with any frustration or anger, &quot;well, what would you offer then?&quot;  At first her ideas were often she wins, I lose ideas, but I'll give you an example of how an exchange like this went:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;But mom, I don't like either of those outfits.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Well, what would you choose?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;this shirt (short-sleeved), A skirt and my flip flops&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;That would be really cute if it was going to be an 80 degree day, but&#xA;  as it might snow today, I can't be on board with that choice.  Can you&#xA;  find a win-win solution?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;What if I wear leggings under the skirt, and a hoodie?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;That sounds alright by me if you also add warmer shoes and keep the&#xA;  hoodie on.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;another example&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;but mom, I was in the middle of a game and don't want to set the&#xA;  table, or feed the dog.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I understand you are in the middle of a game.  You choose which chore&#xA;  you want to do (set the table, or feed the dog) and I'll give you two&#xA;  more minutes to play before you have to actually do the chore - that&#xA;  way you can get to a good stopping place.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;but mo-o-ommmmmmmm.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I've offered a win-win solution so at this point, you can offer up an&#xA;  equally good compromise, take my suggestion, or I'll choose one of the&#xA;  original options for you.  You may not continue to argue and whine.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she forced me to make the choice, I always chose what I knew would be her least favorite option.  Once she learned that she probably wouldn't like my choices, she had motivation to choose something more of a compromise.  Eventually, I was able to say, &quot;What's your win-win solution?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, you can't &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; allow for choice - in those moments, if you have honestly offered plenty of opportunities for her to choose things at other times and be in control at other times, you can pull the parent card, &quot;honey, I let you choose a lot, you're just going to have to trust me on this one.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I see the love and logic method as more of a preventative than a total discipline solution.  By offering your daughter ample opportunities to be in control (respectfully and with her developmental status in consideration), you diminish the number of arguments and fights over-time, but there are still times when kids make mistakes, are outwardly disrespectful, or need a lesson.  This is where the natural consequences come in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Natural Consequences&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With natural consequences it is critical not to warn!!!  Commonly parents warn their kids about the inevitable consequence of their actions.  Then, when the consequence is apparent, the child sees it as a punishment offered up by the parent rather than as a consequence of the child's own choices.  It may seem cold to simply allow a child to suffer X consequence when you saw it coming and might have saved them the trouble, but it really is a form of love to allow them to reasonably learn from their own mistakes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, with teens, parents frequently warn their kids, &quot;If you don't get your report done during the week, you won't be able to go to that party Saturday Night.&quot; (or something akin to it anyway).  Instead, something like, &quot;How is your report coming?&quot;  followed by, &quot;Oh you haven't gotten started yet?  Hmm. I hope that works out for you&quot; will remind your child kindly of what it is that needs doing, without making any threats.  Then, when Saturday comes and the project isn't yet finished and the child misses out you can honestly just say, &quot;Bummer - I wish you could go too, I know you were looking forward to that party.  I'm so sad that you didn't get the project done.&quot;  And honestly know you are sad with your child but standing by the value of getting first things done first and allowing your child to suffer the consequences of their own choices.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along with Love and Logic, I also almost always recommend &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.franklincovey.com/tc/solutions/home-and-family-solutions/the-7-habits-of-successful-families&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families&lt;/a&gt;&quot; for situations like this - not because it outlines a specific discipline plan, but because it offers a really helpful outlook on running the business of a family - including discipline and structures the whole thing around seven habits critical to success (like working well with others through seeking out win-win solutions).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to dealing with the tantrums - she will throw them for awhile even after swtiching tactics with her.  Kids are resistent to changes, and despite the fact that they crave and need structure - they resist it too - it is part of the  job of being a kid it would seem.  In terms of dealing with the tantrums, there a number of great resources right here on parenting so let me refer you to these question and answer sets:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6533/how-to-deal-with-tantrums-in-an-older-child&quot;&gt;Dealing with Tantrums in the Older Child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6545/2876&quot;&gt;How do we get our five year old to control his temper and behave?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8674/12-year-old-with-major-tantrums-that-i-have-no-idea-how-to-control-help-needed&quot;&gt;12 year old with temper tantrums - help needed&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/10860/2876&quot;&gt;How do you Teach a Stubborn Eight Year Old, Mum and Dad are in Charge&lt;/a&gt;  This one is less about tantrums and more about how to speak with your kid - I'll grant it is for an older child, but again, may offer some more helpful ideas as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10731/2876&quot;&gt;last one&lt;/a&gt; is on a different topic and refers you to my answer to the question, but it directly addresses tantrums in the child in the question and may also have some useful info on apply natural consequences to tantrums when they arise as well as a small amount of prevention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Seeking Help from a Professional&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last but not least, &lt;strong&gt;there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help&lt;/strong&gt; family counselors can be an amazing resource and whether you use your sessions to reconnect or to get to the bottom of behavioral issues (or both) it certainly won't hurt to go see some one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you well, and please let us know how it goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry this answer is so long, but I hope it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T17:49:06.097" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10813" CreationDate="2014-01-07T13:49:00.827" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does he sleep for a shorter time in the car than at home? My daughter can only take a 1 sleep cycle (about 30 minutes) nap in the car. At home her naps are almost always at least 2 sleep cycles and usually longer. So when she wakes up in the car she is overtired. She cries her &quot;overtired&quot; cry, which is loud and &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; upset. But then she does calm down, though it usually takes time and, for her &lt;em&gt;leaving her alone&lt;/em&gt; rather than trying to comfort her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2146" LastActivityDate="2014-01-07T13:49:00.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10791" CreationDate="2014-01-07T20:05:05.617" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't behave appropriately in different settings, you could try discussing the upcoming event or venue in advance, and come to an understanding of what kinds of behaviors will be appropriate and what kinds will not. The soccer field is not the same as the sideline of the field, which is not the same as Sunday School which is not the same as the dinner table, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's lots to learn, and if he's not picking it up on his own, try giving him some help before he's embarrassed you and forced you to respond in a way and a place that's uncomfortable for you and unlikely to stick with him. Just try teaching him what you want him to learn!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is always the possibility that he may have some kind if attention difficulty, but that's a medical diagnosis, and if that were the case, you'd begin by addressing it the same way anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-01-07T20:05:05.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10935" CreationDate="2014-01-07T21:46:41.883" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can be certain she's getting something out of this behavior with you that she doesn't get or she doesn't want from others, because she continues to do it to you and not to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also be sure she's not thought out her actions and her reward, it's just a pattern of behavior that she's fallen into that works for her. That's what you've got to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would implore you to &lt;strong&gt;remain calm&lt;/strong&gt;. It's likely that setting you off is part of her reward. It's also likely that you don't see what's happening as clearly when you get emotional, so you can't judge what works and what doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about what you'll do the next time an issue comes up. Run through it in your head so you're not flying by the seat of you pants. I find that lower level punishment usually works better. Try simply removing the child from the situation and placing her in a state of boredom. Tough to do at first, because she will not cooperate, so you'll have to remove yourself with her. Take a book, so you can very pointedly be involved in something that is not her or anything related to her while you enforce a good, long 15 minutes of boredom. Be consistent, and do it every time, but don't hold a grudge. Close the event with the punishment and move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, think about what you'll do when she's behaving appropriately. Time with her, smiles and hugs, maybe take turns brushing each other's hair while you watch &quot;My Little Pony&quot;, whatever works between you, do that as often as you can. The more good times you have, the easier it will be to deal with and solve the bad time problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-01-07T21:46:41.883" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10791" CreationDate="2014-01-07T22:15:40.617" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a certain number of kids who just take longer to develop certain skills than others, but upon my first read I became aware that my &quot;Asperber's alarms&quot; were ringing.  I am offering this, less as an answer and more as a, &quot;be aware of just in case&quot; response.  I am very familiar with working with kids with the disorder, but not familiar with its diagnosis so I want to say right up front that &lt;strong&gt;I am not a doctor and I am not offering medical advice.&lt;/strong&gt;  Sometimes we just see what we are familiar with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many kids at six years have the skills to which you refer in your question, but can &quot;forget&quot; themselves when they get super excited, anxious, or whatever. . . they then might act like they can't ascertain proper behavior expectations socially simply because they are excited.  Most likely that is the case with your son and time (with loving parental feedback) will help mellow him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/mental-health-aspergers-syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Asperger's Syndrome&lt;/a&gt; was one of the PDD's I dealt with &lt;strong&gt;A lOt&lt;/strong&gt; at the school for twice-exceptional kids where I taught, and a complete lack of awareness of social mores or even how to observe them was &lt;strong&gt;the big symptom&lt;/strong&gt;.  To give you an idea, what Asperger's might look like, I'll have you watch some of the earlier episodes of &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fox.com/bones/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bones&lt;/a&gt;.&quot;  I believe the fictitious character of Temperance Brennan, must be based at least loosely on someone with undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome.  It was a favorite show of most of my former students that shared the syndrome as a matter of fact and the school psychologist that taught their &quot;social skills&quot; class often used clips from the show in his class for the highschool kids as a jumping off point for teaching them about social cueing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't recommend jumping to any conclusions, but suggest continuing to work with your son as you are already doing patiently.  Encourage him to sit back and watch how others act first when in a new situation.  You can even prep for some situations by watching movies that portray the same sort of social situation you expect to be encountering first if you'd like to.  Sometimes it is fun to watch kids movies where there is a child that doesn't follow common social practices and you guys can pause and analyze; what is the consequence of that choice - good and bad included while you watch.  See how much your son can predict the reactions of others to social situations in which the unwritten &quot;rules&quot; are followed and contrast those with the same situation and what might have happened if the &quot;rules&quot; were broken.  You can practice observing actions, gestures, tone of speech, facial expressions - anything that helps cue one member of a group into the responses of another member of the group. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you are doing these exercises, you can better assess how talented at this skill your child really is or is not.  If it is a matter of knowing how, but just getting over-excited and forgetting himself some times, I wouldn't worry about it, just chalk it up to, kids being kids (and keep in mind, that a lack in fear of acceptance, can, when in balance, help ensure a certain buffer against peer pressure too).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think there is a severe deficiency that is hurting his social standing with friends, likely to hurt his success in relating with others and forging strong bonds and friendships he can trust, and/or you think the deficiency is negatively impacting his over-all confidence, then take it up with a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.simplypsychology.org/developmental-psychology.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;developmental psychologist&lt;/a&gt; for further evaluation and support. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other symptoms can include perseverative behavior (he get's &quot;stuck&quot; and obsesses over certain things at times.  With a child that perseverates, as the parent you often find yourself thinking, &quot;didn't we already settle this?&quot;)  Asperger's Kids also often are kinesthetically awkward, sometimes come across as a little obsessive about routines, or rituals and might also have fewer specific interests than many other children would have - but when it comes to that interest area or passion, they are often exceedingly knowledgeable and highly talented.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-01-07T22:15:40.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10945" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-07T22:58:59.450" Score="3" ViewCount="289" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been trying to count our 20 month old's vocabulary and are trying to decide if words which she has learned incorrectly (words which are said correctly but may require further context for a listener) count to a professional?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, a 7 year old sibling introduced some 20p coins ( as twenty pees ) and now pee is used to mean money.  She's correct that a coin would be something 'pee' but would you count it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-01-08T08:11:52.733" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T08:11:52.733" Title="Counting out of context words?" Tags="|toddler|development|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2844" CreationDate="2014-01-07T23:22:30.230" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beyond the short term answers given as requested) above, it is worth noting that language development is a long term processes. As noted in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2013/09/children_s_language_development_talk_and_listen_to_them_from_birth.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Slate&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/07/nyregion/for-poor-schoolchildren-a-poverty-of-words.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NY Times&lt;/a&gt;, ongoing conversation with your child adds greatly to their intellect. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://tmw.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Thirty Million Words Project&lt;/a&gt; exists specifically to address the issue of children's language development by encouraging greater interaction, especially in the poorer communities where the word gap is greatest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-01-07T23:22:30.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10945" CreationDate="2014-01-07T23:28:19.993" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A professional might count it separately, but it's very common for children that age to use specific words in a general context or vice versa.  For example, my kids used the word &quot;Daddy&quot; to mean &quot;any man&quot; for a while.  &quot;Ball&quot; might mean &quot;any toy&quot; or &quot;something you throw.&quot;  That's just a natural part of having a limited vocabulary.  As your vocabulary grows, you are able to make more precise distinctions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-07T23:28:19.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2844" CreationDate="2014-01-08T00:50:50.417" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speak. Speak to others when he's in the room. Speak to him when you're alone with him. monologue about what you're doing, how you make soup, which sock belongs to which family member. Talk in the car about which way you're going, where, and why. Every chance you get, read books to him. Talk about the pictures. Everything else is detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Leave the TV off. He'd rather watch and listen to you anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T00:50:50.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10860" CreationDate="2014-01-08T02:25:45.670" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Shouting at kids -does- work, as long as the tactic is not over used.  Likewise a slap on the bottom can be an effective short sharp shock, if it's an incredibly rare occurrence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The simplest tactic is to emphasise the fact that you genuinely -are- in charge by limiting your child's access to the things they enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they like watching TV, you curtail their TV time.  If there are toys they regularly play with, they go on a shelf.  That sort of thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can do this calmly and rationally, without losing your temper, children understand that it's a simply a consequence, rather than a punishment.  &quot;If I'm good, I get to watch TV.  If I'm bad, I don't&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;p.s.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a lad, my dear old mum would discipline me with a clip round the ear.  (Describing it as a slap on the head makes it sound worse than it was).  It didn't take long for me to realise that it didn't really hurt and wasn't that big a deal.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even to a young 'un, it was obvious that the balance of power shifted dramatically at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T02:25:45.670" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6119" CreationDate="2014-01-08T06:18:38.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you if you want to stop your son or kids &#xA;to take the longest shower ever...&#xA; I have a hot water shut off system that &#xA;I design and install...&#xA;And how it works is that when your kids are &#xA;in the shower you Control the hot water by a switch ... But it doesn't turn the water off it leaves the cold water on so they get a cold hit of cold shower ... And you'll get that high pitch screams coming from the bathroom every time... lol&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing with this system &#xA;the kids will hate you for it :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;DJ &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6413" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T06:18:38.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10872" CreationDate="2014-01-08T16:27:49.637" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have this same issue, I built a prototype baseboard tape and have it at quirky.com. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now, you could build the prototype as I did. Go to Lowes/Home Depot and get some mesh drywall tape with only one sticky side, and get some rolls of magnetic tape. Put the drywall mesh tape together so that it is wide enough to cover the opening in the heater. Then use the magnetic tapes to secure the mesh to the heater. It has worked at my apartment so far with the heat on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6416" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-08T16:30:27.303" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T16:30:27.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2924" CreationDate="2014-01-08T17:30:00.537" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My entertainment center is huge with cabinets and drawers and 4 lower shelf openings. The cabinets and drawers are easy to baby proof. For the open shelves that house the DVD and cords and power strips, this is what I plan on doing. I went to Michaels and told them I need a picture frame 12&quot; by 22&quot;. I picked maple because it matched the entertainment center the best and they have an acrylic instead of glass that is shatter resistant that I'm going to have put in it. then I'm going to Home Depot and get those furniture clips. I can only describe the as they keep armoire doors closed and are quite resistant to easily opened. They come in 2 parts a male and female piece I guess you would call it. I'm getting 8. I think they cost  less than a dollar. I'll attach the female parts to the entertainment center and the male parts to the cover I've made, that way I can push the cover on and my remotes will work. Anyway that's my idea I'll let you guys know if it works. Any suggestions on an idea improvement is appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6417" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T17:30:00.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2924" CreationDate="2014-01-08T21:11:19.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer when this situation came up was to attach the TV to the wall and get an HP Microserver, all set up as a media centre.  I've tucked it away where it can't be reached easily and the TV is attached to the ceiling (a wall would do.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if they can reach it since it's a server it's just a black box and doesn't have any interesting lights to speak of - that means the little monsters don't have any interest in it.  Everything is ducted in (not that there's much anyway.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only accessible point is the power button, which is disabled so to power the machine off you either have to go through the software or hold for 10 seconds.  Even opening the drive tray is done via software.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've copied all our media onto it and got rid of all the other boxes.  As a bonus it also shares out media that I can pick up from phones, or raspberry pi's set up as adapters for the rest of the house.  All the other boxes (set top box, games console, dvd and the like) are gone which makes cabling a lot less fuss.  If you wanted to a box like a raspberry pi can be put in behind the main TV and even have the server elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest risk now is a toy hitting the screen, juice in the wireless keyboard or biscuits in the Blu-ray drive and none of that is a big deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in it probably cost about the same as a decent Blu-ray player but is a bazillion times more flexible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2014-01-08T21:11:19.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10955" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10986" CreationDate="2014-01-09T03:11:12.310" Score="5" ViewCount="2673" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a step-mother to two children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They obviously come from a split family. This past year that the Father and I have been together, and court proceedings for custody continue, we have noticed huge attitude changes in both children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our eldest is a female aged 5. It came to our attention that in Feb '13 the mother's partner was abusing her.  Then, more recently, we found out that it was all lies started by the mother and fed through this poor little girl. She has had ups and downs regularly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since such a change in their lifestyle their behaviour is horrible. She has been regularly, hitting her brother, swearing, back chatting, pulling our cats tails, drawing on walls, using rubbish from our household rubbish bin as a toy, hiding food in her room, being disruptive and breaking things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is really abnormal behaviour for her. At the beginning of the year, she was a gorgeous little girl who was not like this. I know where the changes are stemming from, the majority of which are routine changes and the mother's lifestyle. She will have the children up to 11pm and later and her house is a mess. The children get shoved to the side and chooses to not spend the time with them. Our girl has picked up on these bad habits, especially the lying. The mother will say to the daughter &quot;Daddy doesn't even love you&quot; &quot;Daddy is nasty&quot;. We know this because the Mother says these things at her Kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our boy had developmental issues. He didn't talk until not long after he turned 3, and he has extremely flexible hands making the use of his hands difficult. As the Occupational Therapist stated, it is like he is double-jointed in his hands, but is not. Our boy has anger issues, which stems from these development issues. If we cannot understand him, he will break things, if something wont work, cars will get thrown around his room. Toilet training has been very difficult, and we are still suffering it. And sometimes he just does not think. He is very much a copy cat of his sister, destroys things, pulls the animals tails, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a bedtime for them of 7 o'clock so they get the rest they need. They get to do loving activities with us, like I have taught our girl to write, Taught our boy to use scissors, do puzzles, play with toys, and they get fed well here. I have even come to the point of seeking advice from a dietitian as our boy was coming home with either severe constipation or diarrhea. And in 2013 our boy returned home with salmonella poisoning, which the mother had not bothered to acknowledge and take him to the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at loss with how to show this love, yet still discipline accordingly so they will grow up to be the beautiful children that I know they are. Our current discipline (naughty chair for 5mins) is not working anymore. They sit there and tolerate it, they will tell us what they did that was naughty, yet 5mins after the naughty chair they will do it again. I even had them sit down with me and the father and write down the house rules, so I know what they consider to be naughty but that didn't even work. The children are starting to cry themselves to sleep, so something in the back of their minds is not happy, and they wake up at early hours of the morning asking my partner to talk about Mummy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need new tactics, can someone please help me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6421" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-09T16:23:39.627" LastActivityDate="2016-07-24T00:04:51.387" Title="Discipline for a 3 and 5 year old" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2844" CreationDate="2014-01-09T03:23:47.790" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keep is simple. All I can say, is children &quot;accidentally learn things&quot; so make it fun. Make animal noises, say the simple sounds that are similar to aahhhh like Maaaaaa Daaaaa Baaaa or even ta for thank-you. Read him books, he will most likely cackle himself, but point out the words, if he loves talking, you never know he might love words, and books and reading. Just don't push it, and enjoy your child while they are still young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6421" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T03:23:47.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3950" CreationDate="2014-01-09T04:49:49.697" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Also, ask her HOW she wants to be corrected.  (Maybe you have a bad tone or your words are irritating.)  Say, &quot;What would you like me to do or to say to you when I see that you have made a mistake on your worksheet?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T04:49:49.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8215" CreationDate="2014-01-09T05:26:44.473" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it that he doesn't want to leave his friends or he doesn't want to leave his friends having fun?  SOMETIMES if you are at the playground and need to leave, the other parents need to leave soon, too.  If that is true, ask if you can ALL tell your children, its time to go in five minutes.  Or if you are at their house, tell your kids that the other kids are going to have to take a bath/have supper/clean their rooms now anyway, so the fun is going to stop.  Also, I used to tell mine that we can't come back for a play date unless we leave this one without any problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or maybe you can say &quot;We need to go home now, and when we get home you can draw a picture of you and your friends having fun.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastEditorUserId="6365" LastEditDate="2014-01-15T14:06:29.743" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T14:06:29.743" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10955" CreationDate="2014-01-09T08:26:21.357" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no direct advise for you but I can say that attending a parenting class with other parents can be really really valuable. Just having a safe space to chat with other parents and share your pain and your joy can make a big difference. Teachers you know or admire might be able to help in letting you know where to find a good course otherwise noticeboards at relevant places can also be good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck in your journey. The fact you are seeking answers to make things better shows you care very much. All the best to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="749" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T08:26:21.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10907" CreationDate="2014-01-09T09:31:08.990" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A very specific cause that we found when our sons didn't want to eat, were &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphthous_stomatitis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;canker sores&lt;/a&gt;. They make it really painful to chew and to eat, while drinking is still pretty much painfree.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Ask your kid if it hurts when eating, if so, where. Your doctor can prescribe lidocaine, to be applied to the sore before eating. Also smoothies or a drinkable porridge will provide nutrition while not hurting as much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T09:31:08.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10907" CreationDate="2014-01-09T10:41:07.563" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds really harsh, but both of my step-children have these stages... It is normal. Biggest thing we got told by the doctor and other mothers from my mothers group, keep serving up food. Have your daily meals and plate it up. If they choose not to eat then they choose not to. In their eyes playing is more important. So when they do eat praise them. Get your child involved in the preparation, make a veggie patch, and trust me, eventually they will give up and just eat. They learn their lesson quick smart. Just a fact of life and you can't really force them to eat. But if it does persist to more than two weeks, head back and see your doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6421" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T10:41:07.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6786" CreationDate="2014-01-09T10:55:17.960" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;With this story it needs to be reported. The infections that the children are having are a bacterial infection which isn't good. I know this as my step-son is in the same area with the way his mother looks after him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending how old your neighbour is, they will do something called kinship care if she is deemed suitable for it. But generally (depending on the severity of a case) children are placed in relatives care first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she chooses not to do this, the neighbour should gather enough information as she can, and seek legal advise and custody of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But even in court, it is a much more expensive battle and the judge will still ask &quot;why didn't you contact the authorities if your that concerned&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These kids need the help, or something more sinister could happen. If your neighbour is concerned enough, then she would know exactly what to do. My recommendation is to definitely contact authorities. Whether it's Police for a welfare check, which they will have to report to human services, or just ring human services straight off of the bat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those kids NEED love, care, routine and an appropriate diet. That won't happen if they stay where they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6421" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T10:55:17.960" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2014-01-09T12:32:47.057" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy was much like that. But NEVER move back steps as that is basically telling him it's okay to give up. As the &quot;wait&quot; can be a bit boring, give him a book or have a poster up in the toilet for him to stare at while he does his biz. Even a really cool printed toilet paper. Provide a reward. Not sure if you condone Chocolate, but if you don't then use cars or planes etc. Small things he is interested in. And put a chart up on the wall for his progress. Once he has done his first poo and gets a treat he will be think &quot;poo = reward, Imma milk this for what it's worth.&quot; Hopefully that helps you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6421" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T12:32:47.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9243" CreationDate="2014-01-09T12:41:41.517" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get him involved in the prep of food. Even if it's something as simple as tearing a lettuce apart into shreds with their hands. Maybe try growing some herbs in a pot, and strawberries. Make some healthy pizza's and show them that yucky foods and yummy foods together don't taste bad. Like chicken wrapped in lettuce with a cheese, and broccoli sauce in the middle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids always love being involved, and that how sometimes it gets them interested in the not so appetising foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6421" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T12:41:41.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9120" CreationDate="2014-01-09T12:51:22.857" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One huge things that a lot of parents I have in my mother group don't realise is that children have multiple phrases, sentences and words that are new to them every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes this may be a little confusing and sometimes instructions can be confused with others as they may be smart, yes, but their IQ does not determine their processing rate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My tip would be to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stick with the simple tasks before introducing the new ones - &quot;clean up your bedroom&quot; and &quot;walk forward two steps&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use game play to your advantage - Print out photo's of different animal, pursue with playing a game, if he stands on the right one on each instruction then he gets a point. Once he hits 5 he will get a reward, and increase the reward mark bit by bit each round. Be persistent. An example of this question is &quot;stand on the cow&quot; &quot;hop 2 times on the sheep&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be creative - involve heaps of different methods of game play that incorporate thing building technique. Like colouring, craft activities etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But just remember, he is only 6. You will only need to work on it little by little. Don't push it, but be persistent. His brain is still developing, so there is still room for improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6421" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T12:51:22.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10969" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-09T20:52:58.963" Score="12" ViewCount="993" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six year-old son has recently started lying almost constantly.  This is somewhat puzzling to us, because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He almost &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; gets away with it.  Fortunately for us, he isn't very good at it yet, but he is getting better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It causes him to lose the activity or object he was lying to obtain, and then some.  This is the consequence we use most often, because it is the closest to the natural consequence.  For example, if he lies about being done eating, so he can go play, the consequence is not only does he not get to play now, he has to wait longer to play than it would have taken him just to finish eating.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He lies even when it hurts his case.  For example, he will lie to try to get a cookie, in situations where he could have gotten one just for asking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His untrustworthiness causes us to check up on him more, which ironically makes it harder for him to get away with stuff.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's gotten to the point where he is constantly lying to try to stay out of trouble, but the biggest reason he's getting in trouble is because of the lying.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3925/644&quot;&gt;My answer to this related question&lt;/a&gt; isn't working anymore, partially because he tells the truth so infrequently now that there are no opportunities to reward him for it, and partially because he has started taking advantage of the rare leniency to try getting away with even more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is different from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3907/644&quot;&gt;What are appropriate methods for disciplining a primary schooler for lying?&lt;/a&gt; because typical rewards and consequences both seem to be setting up a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;perverse incentive&lt;/a&gt; in his case.  How can I break this behavior spiral so normal occasional discipline will work again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-10T12:09:13.087" LastActivityDate="2019-07-10T12:09:13.087" Title="How to break the cycle of lies?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|lying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10753" CreationDate="2014-01-09T21:18:05.567" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are some great answers here and I want to add to them by bringing up one thing that we have discovered works wonders with my son: &lt;strong&gt;team activities&lt;/strong&gt;.  Primarily we have used sports, but I don't see why the points I bring up can't be applied to any group or team activity (such as theatre or choir).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The confidence building benefits of a team or group activity are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They often involve a frightening situation for children - performing in front of others.  However, that situation is shared among the group.  They are all in it together, and it is easy to face your fears when others (especially those that are your peers) are going through the exact same thing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Team activities often provide a safe learning ground, such as practices, where the child can gain confidence prior to being required to perform in a scarier situation, such as in front of all of the parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It allows the more shy children to play a supporting role (not everyone needs to be quarterback or the soloist) while still participating and gaining confidence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4069" LastActivityDate="2014-01-09T21:18:05.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10971" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-09T23:06:06.993" Score="10" ViewCount="1177" Body="&lt;p&gt;Martin Luther King Day is coming up, and I want to teach my children about him, especially since the civil rights movement is such a huge part of our local history here in Alabama.  My dilemma is that my children (ages 4, 6, and 9) are currently completely oblivious to racism.  They treat everyone the same and it doesn't even occur to them that anyone would do otherwise.  Is there a way to teach them about the positive things that came out of the civil rights movement, while still maintaining their innocence about racism?  Or is this a subject best left until they're more mature?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-24T12:17:04.427" LastActivityDate="2019-04-24T12:17:04.427" Title="How to teach civil rights to children who don't know about racism?" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|teaching|middle-childhood|history|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7835" CreationDate="2014-01-10T00:10:00.150" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My immediate thought is that it often helps to start out by acknowledging the wanted thing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you want to go outside right now.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By acknowledging the wish, you are also acknowledging their feelings which is often the first step in moving past whatever it is they are stuck on - knowing they were understood.  Then observe or question about the thing getting in the way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Do you see how dark it is outside?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It often works to present this observation as a question that causes them to observe as well.  Another example might be: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;but aren't you hungry?  I think it makes sense to have dinner first&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finish by asking about an alternative and then follow through on the&#xA;alternative:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;In the morning, we will make sure you get some time to play outside&#xA;  right after you have eaten your breakfast.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you make &quot;deals&quot; like this, it is important to follow through or they will not continue to work - because your kids will eventually stop trusting you to follow through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is likely that if your child is perseverating, this won't end the conversation (especially at first) and you will need to answer the question again.  However, by setting things up this way, you set yourself up to successfully become a broken record,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Do you remember what I said last time you asked?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Do you remember what the deal we made was last time you asked?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;What did you tell me we agreed on the last time you asked that&#xA;  question?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This prevents arguing about it at least and puts the responsibility on the shoulders of the child to start to remember the limitation, rather than on you having to restate the bummer thing over and over again - preventing fights and tantrums at least to some degree about things.  You can also restate an acknowledgement of the child's wish before your question such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you really want to go outside.  That sounds like fun to me too&#xA;  - but do you see how dark it is out there?  What did we say could happen last time we talked about this?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you get tired of the whole broken record thing, you can also try impartial observation of your own recollections and feelings:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I seem to remember answering this question before. . . Hmm what&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;was&lt;/strong&gt; my answer?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or the frank and completely honest observation (which works well once they've reached attaining the theory of mind developmental step (you know they've broken through this barrier when they start trying to &quot;trick&quot; you, have attempted bald-faced lying, or are starting to fully understand jokes based on words with double meanings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I am starting to think you are (stuck on, perseverating about, . . .&#xA;  said issue) this starts to be frustrating for me after awhile, what&#xA;  can we do to move you past this (want, desire, wish, thing. . . )?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people will recommend redirection - which is another useful way to go - but with kids with a neurological reason to perseverate on things, I have found it can actually make them go after the thing they want that much more insistently and intensely.  I really find that first step of acknowledging feelings to be incredibly helpful and the big key so that if you take that first step and then try re-direction you are more likely to have better luck with the redirection aspect of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the problem is that your daughter is upset with a role-change in your routine, you can use the same procedure, but involve the other parent and go through the procedure preventatively. i.e.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You:  &quot;I know you are used to mommy doing this part of your routine.&quot;&#xA;  Mommy: &quot;I'm sorry I can't do that tonight, I am . . . tonight and&#xA;  can't, but I love you and will look forward to getting back to our&#xA;  usual way tomorrow night.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, when she brings it up in the moment, your question is, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;What did mommy say about why she can't do this with you right now?&quot;&#xA;  and  &quot;When will mommy get back to the usual routine with you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids that struggle with this kind of behavior in the extreme are really a challenge, but they are a challenge because routine means security to them in a way we can't relate to.  When Dustin Hoffman got ready for his role in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKC3W0awjm0&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rainman&lt;/a&gt;, he spent quite a bit of time at the ICA (Illinois Center for Autism) studying to prepare (and donated quite a sum of money to the center to boot).  So, you can be sure his acting here isn't far from reality (plus I've worked with these kids and while he depicts a fairly extreme case of a high-functioning sevant autistic, It is fairly true to life in my experience as well).  There is a reason for the movie's success and it has a lot to do with the heart and care Dustin Hoffman put into his role as far as I am concerned.  Point is, as hard as it is, patience and empathy with low emotive tonality and action is the key in getting your message across.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, as she gets older and hits some of those developmental milestones that are more emotionally related, things will get a little easier in this regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T00:10:00.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10969" CreationDate="2014-01-10T00:55:53.300" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say you've inadvertently let him develop a pattern.   He's found he can lie and the world doesn't end, it's comfortable, and now it's what he does... plus he's got a challenge, because he can see if he keeps trying, he may get good enough to fool you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't keep increasing the punishment.  You'll either run out of stuff in your arsenal or the punishments will get too painful for both of you.  Instead:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing I'd do is break the pattern.  Try as much as possible to avoid the trigger: any question to which he can lie.  So, don't ask questions to which you know the answer to; don't ask questions when you can go check what the answer is, instead; and if you have to ask such a question, and you're pretty sure he's lying about the answer, &lt;strong&gt;don't let him dig himself in deeper&lt;/strong&gt;.  You're just challenging him by doing that.  Literally. (Go read over what you've written.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he does lie, and these instances should be rare since you're not giving him opportunity, just sigh in disappointment/make a disappointed face (whatever; let him know you're not impressed), and tell him to do the thing he said he didn't do, or whatever.  Don't punish him, or make it a nominal punishment, since it's not working anyway.  Or raise your eyebrows:  &quot;Really?  Was that smart to say that to get a cookie?  How about may I please have a cookie?&quot;  You're not impressed.  Move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time I would shift the emphasis to telling the truth.  Ask the librarians for books (picture books &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; harder ones) you can read to him where telling the truth saves the day.  Where people relying on each other and trusting each other saves the day.  Make up stories where amazing things happen when a child tells the truth.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told my daughter about the Boy Who Cried Wolf, but she really loved to hear The Girl Who Saved The Sheep, which I told her after we'd done the other a few times.  (It had all sorts of details, how she got up early and made herself a lunch, called the dogs, got the sheep out of the barn, took them up the mountainside... and when she ran to the village to get help from the wolves, everyone came right away, one man had a frying pan, a lady had a bull cutter (my kid's favorite outdoor tool)... and only one sheep was killed, but two dogs were hurt but they carried them back to the village and tied big ribbons on them because they were heroes, and they got well... etc.)  I had to tell this story over and over again.   I'm guessing that it was given extra savor by the existence of The Boy Who Cried Wolf; so I would make the truth-telling kid like him somehow, and the boy who cried wolf, not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start conversations about these stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Gee, that kid did something really brave in that situation.  He knew he was going to get in trouble for being out of the house, but he had to save the kitten... Do you think it occurred to him that someone else might come along and find her?...  I hope I would be that brave, and not just hope someone else would do it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Wasn't it amazing how well the mom knew her kid?  She knew not to believe the teenager about who really painted the car.   I bet the teenager was surprised!  I bet he got away with that stuff all the time with other little kids!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And talk about white lies.  Start a discussion about how you never know what to do when an adult has broccoli in their teeth.  (My daughter was very intrigued with that one!)  Ask what would he do.  How about if it was a stranger?  Or what if they'd just been onstage in front of a lot of people?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how subtle you need to be with this stuff;  I started telling stories like this to my kid when she was much younger.  At this point (ten  years old) she has a very high personal integrity; the fact that she doesn't lie is a point of honor.  &lt;strong&gt;And&lt;/strong&gt; she's adept at the white lie, too; no one is more pleased than she when she opens a gift, no matter what it contains (unless the gift is from me, since she knows I need there to be truth between us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2014-01-10T11:43:21.800" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T11:43:21.800" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3563" CreationDate="2014-01-10T02:09:37.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had the appliance put on by the dentist. It cost quite a bit and broke apart within a month. The second appliance lasted less than 24 hours. We are going to try some less expensive methods to encourage her to stop sucking her thumb. Mittens, nail polish etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6432" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T02:09:37.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10955" CreationDate="2014-01-10T02:19:50.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before around age 8 children live in a world of creativity. Sounds like things are getting very serious. Forget all this logic adult thinking, recreate your view as a the world being a fun joyous place.  Just think how can you bring more joy. Rewatch 'Mary Poppins' and 'A Beautiful Life (1997)' for yourself. I'm not wanting to discount all the seriousness and complexity of what is going on around the children and Im sure others will have practical advise there, my feedback is to focus on creating joy. Ease off a little for now and focus on relationship, do more fun things and just bring a bit more happiness for the kids. Also get them out of the house and away from  any screen time and do stuff outdoors, walks, explore, museums, libraries.. take em on adventures. It's the old if nothings working try something else. Get the kids as much as possible deep into feeling with all their senses, get them away from all this head driven anguish. Focus on being active and connecting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="749" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T02:19:50.307" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4646" CreationDate="2014-01-10T05:07:45.317" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like he doesn't much care that you're tired and don't have the energy to play with him, and he has a point. If he isn't getting the attention from you that he wants and needs, he'll keep trying until he succeeds. There is really no punishment that will fix this. And really, if you have to spend time with him dealing with problems, you might as we try preemptively dealing with him in a positive way to avoid the problems. It might be as simple as spending twenty minutes with him and a box of crayons in the evening. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T05:07:45.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3563" CreationDate="2014-01-10T05:21:11.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've known kids, including a very good friend of my 19 year old daughter who was still sucking her thumb in my eighth grade algebra class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, you want her to stop, and she wants to stop, but in the grand scheme of things, this isn't that big a problem, and she will stop eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't stress too much about it because stressing children rarely accomplishes anything good, and it might make her more likely to suck her thumb as a way to handle stress! &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Laugh with her and never at her&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, realize this might take a while, and be OK with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T05:21:11.993" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10971" CreationDate="2014-01-10T05:45:20.307" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I'd hold off on the younger two, but you can read &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/044022800X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Watsons Go to Birmingham—1963&lt;/a&gt; by by Christopher Paul Curtis with the oldest. (Kids like being read to, even older kids.) Reading it with your child will allow you to discuss the difficult topics with him or her as they are introduced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-01-10T16:01:42.543" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T16:01:42.543" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8857" CreationDate="2014-01-10T06:57:56.507" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Discovering how to be deceptive is common in the preschool child as this is often the point when they develop &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aspergers-diary/200805/empathy-mindblindness-and-theory-mind&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Theory of Mind&lt;/a&gt; (an understanding that different people can have a different understanding of the same event - the link has an article about the development of this in Asperger's kids, but I thought the cartoons contained within are some of the best for demonstrating &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aspergers-diary/200805/empathy-mindblindness-and-theory-mind&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;how Theory of Mind works&lt;/a&gt;).  I think it is unlikely your child is truly lying with a full understanding of what it is she is doing.  She may be transferring another experience and just mimicking tha t other experience in a confusing to you and inappropriate way, who knows really.  You might try out the &quot;test&quot; offered in the cartoon on the Theory of Mind Link to reassure yourself whether your child is likely lying or somehow being confusing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most kids don't really fully obtain the capacity to lie until well into their third of fourth year, but since it is a developmental milestone and not an age marker - it really depends upon the child when this truly begins.  Since they aren't fully logical yet, it is really difficult for a preschooler to understand long - term consequences and benefits of anything let alone when it is something that seems beneficial in the short term which makes it pretty difficult to discipline for lying.  If you decide it is possible your child is purposefully lying to you and it continues to come up or be a problem, I have included some additional ideas for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Preschoolers and other young children (Toddler - Early Elementary) don't typically have a lot of experience with the contrast between trust or lack-of-trust.  Hopefully, most of the people they encounter are pretty trustworthy most of the time.  The idea of trustworthiness as compared to a lack of trust is usually novel to them.  This was something we really struggled with Alice (my daughter) on for awhile between the ages of three and four - and although she is honest most of the time, there are still times she is certainly tempted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly an average eight-year-old, should be able to understand the basic concepts of deception and trustworthiness.  However, at the age of two if they are purposefully grasping exactly what they are doing, they probably do not understand the real-life consequences of their choice and are really experiementing with a new skill - which is part of how they learn about it.  I often find it best when there is a &quot;new problem&quot; with kids at these earlier ages to talk about the concept through characters in stories in order to remove it from being too personally close and get at the heart of why the behavior is a problem before linking directly to the child's own choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a child that is an auditory learner and relates well to stories, two classics to take a look at are: &quot;The Boy Who Cried Wolf&quot; and &quot;Pinnochio&quot;.  My own little one was still unable to explain why other characters in a variety of modern takes on a &quot;Boy Who Cried Wolf&quot; as well as the original did not go to the boy's aid at the end of the story right up until around age five.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to teach the concept of &quot;trustworthiness&quot; and how easy it is to lose the status of being trustworthy, I found a suggestion where family members take one another for &quot;trust walks&quot; online and laughed at myself for not having thought of it on my own because it was something I did almost every year with my middle-schoolers.  You know, you pair up and one member is blindfolded and then you trade. Go through the exercise and be trustworthy, but then ask of the child (children), &quot;how would you have felt if I had . . . &quot; and then fill in with an untrustworthy action.  You &lt;strong&gt;could&lt;/strong&gt; trying throwing in one untrustworthy action during a second round with the activity if you think they really need the point driven home hard.  When we finally did this activity a few years ago, the difference between before the trust walk and after was dramatic.  It really sent the message home in regard to what her daddy and I had tried to express to her so many times before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the concepts of trustworthiness and honesty are understood fully in a more personal way, many families, including ours, use the &quot;second consequence&quot; tact.  The idea is that there is a second consequence added onto any original consequence that would have existed without the lie.  When children know this is coming it can be a good deterrent to lying.  We also continue to discuss how important trust is and remind about the natural consequence of &quot;loss of trust&quot; whenever this &quot;second consequence&quot; must be used.  As often as is possible, there is a third &quot;consequence&quot; that drives this point home soon after a situation where a lie has been used.  For example, &quot;no, you can't go to your friend's house because I can't trust you to clean up your messes without me watching over you.  That means I can't trust you to help clean up your messes while at your friend's house where I can't check on you as much.&quot; (when a child has claimed to have cleaned something up that didn't really get cleaned)  &quot;I guess you'll have to work on earning back more trust by being more honest&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel the more ways the discussion can be had and the topic can be addressed, the sooner and more fully the importance of trustworthiness and how to maintain it will be understood.  I do know this will be an &quot;on going&quot; discussion in any household as the temptations simply become greater as they continue to get older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we were having all the trouble with lying, we have also worked with a book titled, &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B003STCKLM&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;E Is for Ethics&lt;/a&gt;&quot; by Ian James Corlett. It is a wonderful book with many more subjects than honesty and trust (but these two subjects are addressed as individual subjects as well)  Each chapter begins with a story that is basically a kid- sized conundrum about what the right thing to do is.  The book sets up the story and then gives guides for how to go about discussing the best outcome with your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember,  lying is a natural thing for kids to try out a few times.  The fact that they've lied a few times, doesn't make them a bad kid - its just an opportunity to learn and practice better choices and habits.  What will help your kid most is if you stay calm, don't worry about it too much but apply appropriate consequences and apply them consistently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-10T14:42:24.850" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T14:42:24.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10980" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-10T07:51:56.650" Score="4" ViewCount="22570" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 1-year-old has been weaned off breast milk for a little over a week now, which was completely her doing. My wife has been dealing with the engorgement since then, which she says has subsided. However she noticed a hard lump in her breast. We think it's a blocked milk duct and not mastitis. From reading about mastitis, she thinks it should be much more painful, and she isn't presenting with a fever or chills or anything like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the treatment for blocked ducts or mastitis involves making sure you continue to breastfeed in order to drain. Of course, our problem is our daughter is weaned. My wife doesn't want to express her milk, as this will set her back as far as stopping milk production... we think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we should do? If it is just a blocked duct, will it simply clear on its own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3791" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-22T13:20:20.540" LastActivityDate="2019-01-30T05:35:01.743" Title="How to resolve blocked milk ducts after weaning" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|weaning|mother|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10980" CreationDate="2014-01-10T12:55:16.593" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try a warm compress on the knot for a few days, several times a day. She can also try to GENTLY massage the knot towards the nipple; if it's a blocked duct, the warm compress should loosen it up, and then she can massage it out of the nipple. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she presents with a fever or pain, or anything that seems like it could be an infection, make sure she heads to the doctor post-haste. Mastitis is SUCH a pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T12:55:16.593" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10982" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-10T16:26:57.183" Score="1" ViewCount="970" Body="&lt;p&gt;My step-daughter is heading to school this year. Her pre-school hours last year were 9.30 until 2.30 and her school hours this year will be 9.00 until 3.30.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be quite a sudden change in routine for little miss, but as I haven't dealt with having a child in school before, what sort of routine should I start for her? I'm not really sure how long it will take to get ready as well as I will be preparing out boy for Kindergarten. Idea's for routine and an appropriate bedtime?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6421" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T17:20:20.357" Title="Good routine for a 5 year old" Tags="|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10982" CreationDate="2014-01-10T17:20:20.357" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter started kindergarten this year and has to get up earlier so she and her brother can both get to their respective schools (he's in preschool) on time.  We gamed out the routine for a couple of weeks prior to school, to work out bugs as well as determine about how long it will take to get them both ready to leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, we started her on her new schedule (for waking up) so she had time to adjust.  To help her get up on time every day, we got her a daylight simulator alarm clock, which helps her wake up on time without a loud alarm (she's highly sensitive to loud noises).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also set up a routine for clothes/teeth/breakfast.  Every Sunday she and I put out all her clothes for the week by day, so all she has to do when she wakes up is grab today's clothes and take them downstairs.  As soon as she gets downstairs, she has breakfast ('cause she's super cranky until she eats).  After she eats, she gets dressed, brushes her hair and teeth, and then gets some down time until it's time to go to school.  Knowing her routine ahead of time, as well as about how long each step will take, seems to really help her proceed through the morning and get ready for school without a lot of drama.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every night we choose (and pack, if appropriate) her lunch for the following day, and write it up on the whiteboard for easy reference.  She bathes at night, and goes to bed in time to get a full 10 hours of sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make things easier when she hits a wall (she IS 5, after all), we have a set of incentives and consequences in place.  If she goes through her routine without complaint, she gets puffballs in her jar (when the jar is full, she gets a special prize, like a trip to the zoo).  If she drags around or stonewalls, she loses privileges (TV, internet, etc.).  We delineated these clearly at the beginning of the school year, and regularly go over them to (a) make sure she remembers what the incentives and consequences are and (b) see if anything needs to be addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, it's worked pretty well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T17:20:20.357" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10985" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="10987" CreationDate="2014-01-10T17:53:59.160" Score="6" ViewCount="55745" Body="&lt;p&gt;How old must a baby be to be lifted under its arms? Is there any required age? Is this kind of baby lifting safe for a newborn or toddler?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T17:18:03.933" Title="How old must a baby be to be lifted under its arms?" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10955" CreationDate="2014-01-10T18:09:00.780" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the little girl is acting out because she is insecure about her relationship with her parents, and that insecurity is being fed by her mother, both through poor physical care and through emotional manipulation. It's a special case of helping a child feel loved and secure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There isn't anything you can do about the time they spend with their mother, but you can let them know that things are different when they share time with you and their father. &#xA;Some of this you are doing already, by keeping a routine and caring for them and loving them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So draw a clear line with your discipline (it sounds like you are doing this). These are your house rules. They may be different elsewhere, but in your house, the expectations are clear and discipline is consistent. To ease the issue with their mother trash-talking their father, make a house rule that no trash-talking is allowed about anybody. Make sure you and their father follow this rule too. They don't understand the situation from your perspective, and negativity about the other parent will make them feel conflicted and possibly ashamed of their love for that parent. You can also use it to deflect &quot;Well, but &lt;em&gt;Mommy&lt;/em&gt; says...&quot; in a less negative way: &quot;In Mommy's house, the rules are different. In our house, these are the rules.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also make sure that you are inviting them to talk to you about how they feel. If you don't express disapproval of their mother, they may be more willing to open up to you about how they feel when they are there and when they are with you. If they sense you don't like her, they may not share the good parts of being there for fear that you will disapprove of them as well. So invite them to talk to you about the good parts, help them feel positive about their time with their mother, and then use that information to help them develop positive coping strategies for the other, less pleasant parts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also consider a therapist or counselor who specializes in working with children in blended families. This person can help a child open up and talk about their parents and the situation in ways that an adult who is directly involved in the situation cannot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T18:09:00.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10985" CreationDate="2014-01-10T18:17:39.173" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key thing about lifting under the arms is that it's harder to support the head and neck, you'd have to use your hands as support, rather than the crook of your arm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's less about age, and more about head control. &lt;strong&gt;If your baby is able to hold her head up to look around, then it's fine to pick her up under her arms. If the minute you try it, her head slumps to one side, not fine.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, you'd be able to tell immediately that her head is not coming up with the rest of the baby; if nothing else, she'll be getting upset by this shabby treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2014-01-10T18:17:39.173" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10988" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-10T19:30:05.120" Score="6" ViewCount="748" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got one child in kindergarten and another one that will begin there next year. The way it works is that the youngest ones have a group for themselves, with ages from 2½ to around 3½. From 3½ until school age, they're all in mixed groups, what they call &lt;strong&gt;&quot;family groups&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your second child starts kindergarten, he'll go into a young group first, but then we are facing a choice between letting him stay in the young group until he is the oldest, or putting him into a family group sooner than that. Based on the experiences with the first child, it's not fun to be the oldest in a young group, so &quot;graduating&quot; sooner to a family group seems preferable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Now, the question:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;There is more than one family group. &lt;strong&gt;Should we put our second child into the same group where his older brother already is, or should we put him into a separate group?&lt;/strong&gt; What are the pros and cons of each alternative?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T14:11:34.880" Title="Should we put siblings in the same kindergarten group?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10988" CreationDate="2014-01-11T05:38:24.083" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say it depends on what kind of relationship your children have with each other, and how well they get along with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my four year-old daughter is extremely introverted.  My six year-old son is extremely extroverted, yet socially awkward.  This makes them a great pair in a group of other kids.  My daughter has someone to help her not be afraid to participate, and my son has someone to be his friend when his attention-seeking doesn't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other children might play fine with their siblings at home, but really need the time apart when in a larger group.  The only way to really tell is to try them out at a few larger social gatherings and see how they react.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A case could be made that it's character-building to force them to be apart and find other friends, but there's going to be plenty of time for that, and sooner than you think.  Go for whatever arrangement they are most comfortable with now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T05:38:24.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8441" CreationDate="2014-01-11T14:48:55.293" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's perfectly normal for your baby to poop once in three to four days as most of the breast milk is easily digested and theres little left to dump out. The digestive system of babies develop only after birth, so don't get petrified by no poop for 3-4 days at a stretch. Ensure that after such a gap, the poop is profound though. The baby has to pee a minimum of six times per day though, which is a sign of good feeding and no dehydration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6435" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T14:48:55.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10872" CreationDate="2014-01-11T15:30:56.093" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why not teach your toddler that it is a bad idea to touch the heater? Take your toddler near it when it is off and say &quot;ouch!&quot; and stress that touching it is a bad idea. When it is on and hot, bring your toddler near it -- close enough to feel the heat, but not to burn the little bugger -- and say &quot;hot! ouch! don't touch!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do this over and over. Reinforce the idea. And if your toddler does experience hot first hand, reinforce &quot;hot! ouch!&quot; so that the connection can be made in the toddler's brain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This worked very well with our little girl, though she learned &quot;ouch&quot; with a new heater after we moved house. We also applied the same ideas to picking berries: blueberries and raspberries are good. Lily-of-the-valley berries are &quot;bleah! yuck!!&quot; (and poisonous).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'd be amazed at what they can learn if you give them a chance, rather than putting up barriers, even though the barriers are meant to protect them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T15:30:56.093" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10971" CreationDate="2014-01-11T17:08:45.727" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay (takes a deep breath), I'll share...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no data for when kids are old enough to talk to them about racism, slavery, and the Jim Crow laws that were in effect for so many decades afterwards.  I can tell you what I wanted for my child, which was that she be old enough not only to understand why these things were wrong, but also to understand the particular stupidity that allowed them to come about in the first place.  I would think your three year old is too young, but your six your old might be close.  Either way, however, you can start by preparing the ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Re: your dilemma:  I am white.  I also was oblivious to skin color as a child; I expect that that's more common than not.  I definitely remember how uncomfortable it made me to learn about slavery; it made my reactions to people of color feel very unnatural.   For a long time I wished I had been left in a state of innocence.  It took me until adulthood to understand that &quot;innocence&quot; (in this case) was ignorance.  People of color were still experiencing blatant racism at the time.  My ability to grow up oblivious of skin color was due to white privilege;  the majority of colored children growing up in the United States at that time had no such luxury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One wants one's child to grow up free from prejudice, and it's easy to think that the best way is to let their natural tendency to take people at face value lead the way...  i.e., if you don't teach them about prejudice they won't learn to be prejudiced.  Unfortunately, that also means they won't learn how to &lt;em&gt;combat&lt;/em&gt; prejudice; and in their ignorance they might easily be led to perpetuate the problem.  &lt;strong&gt;In order to help stamp out racism&lt;/strong&gt;, or at the very least not to make it worse, &lt;strong&gt;children have to learn about it&lt;/strong&gt;; learn how to recognize it in its myriad forms; and learn how to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I decided to do was to leave my child to enjoy her &quot;innocence&quot; for as long as possible (which was until they covered civil rights in first grade), but to give her a framework in which the concepts of slavery and prejudice -- when she encountered them --  would have their shameful place, and not cause her whole understanding of the world to crash.  The way I did this was to talk about how people tend to be afraid of things that are different just because they are different, and how that is silly.  Being different is okay, was my message, and sometimes it is very interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time she complained about someone who did something different than we do (&quot;Ben doesn't have a sippy cup of milk before he goes to bed!&quot; or whatever it was) I said, &quot;Yes, people are different! I bet he has his milk right after supper!&quot; in a &quot;they do it that way, we do it our way, and that's okay!&quot; tone of voice.  And so on for most differences she pointed out, including those we discovered between her and me (e.g., I love marinara sauce and spicy food, she hates them).   &quot;Isn't that interesting!&quot; I would say.  &quot;&lt;strong&gt;People are different!&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;  (And sometimes go on about it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she got older, I would point out that sometimes some people are uneasy when something is different than what they have known, and that it is natural to prefer what you are familiar with; but you never know if you might like something until you try it.  I said that sometimes people who do not like things that are different also don't like people who are different, which is silly, but not everyone has been taught to how to think smart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she first experienced someone making fun of someone else, I would say, &quot;Yes, so-and-so is upset and being mean because he is uncomfortable because that person is different.&quot;  I told her being different is okay (as long as the different person is not mean), but being mean is never okay.  When she was older (five or six) I told her that she should tell the person, &quot;That's not nice!  How would you like it if...&quot;  I told her that she didn't have to physically stop the meanness, but she had to speak up about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somewhere around age five or six I started to give the important examples:  &quot;Do you know there are even people who think our friends Frank and Joe should not be married because they are both men!  Some people think that just because &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; want to be married to a person of the opposite sex, and because they can see that most people are like &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt;, that being different must be bad.  But just because most people like chocolate ice cream, does that mean strawberry ice cream is bad?&quot;  Although I'm sure I did an example for skin color, I decided to leave slavery, etc. for the school.  But with this framework in place, I found it easy to deal with her (few) questions when she came home talking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm suggesting this approach because I think that with it, you can bring up slavery and racism without causing your children to start looking at certain of their friends differently.  They can maintain their innocence and yet lose their ignorance.  Because in this framework, it is possible for some silly people to be prejudiced against people with long hair, or people who don't play sports, or people with darker skin; and &lt;em&gt;it's all the same type of silliness&lt;/em&gt;.  The difference is one particular silliness got embedded in American culture and law for historical reasons, with very horrible results, and we have to work to get it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...I will let someone else make recommendations for how you go forward from here -- what materials you can use, etc.  As I said, I let her school do this part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2014-01-13T11:49:08.723" LastActivityDate="2014-01-13T11:49:08.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10985" CreationDate="2014-01-11T17:18:03.933" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While @deworde's answer is mostly true, there is another aspect:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is fine to pick your baby up under the arms at any age &lt;strong&gt;as long as you support their head.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know any of my friends who haven't held their baby up this way many times. It can be a handy way to bring them close - it just requires a little technique, like @Dariusz mentioned. When they are small their armpits fit easily in the crook between your thumbs and first fingers, which leaves the other fingers available to cradle the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T17:18:03.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10994" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-11T18:18:24.877" Score="11" ViewCount="1607" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife leaves pretty early in the morning and she showed me how to do my daughter's hair so it stays out of her face, but my fingers are longer and thicker than my wifes so I'm having a harder time with the ties than I thought I would.  What have other Dad's done to solve this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6436" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-01-15T09:10:22.203" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T03:58:06.477" Title="How do I do my daughter's hair?" Tags="|primary-schooler|hair|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10995" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-11T19:49:57.520" Score="2" ViewCount="237" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kid spends so much time avoiding homework and chores, that it is time for bed before either thing is finished.  My wife and I find ourselves standing over her and spending all our time refocusing her and it is not fun for any of us.  It is creating strife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Punishments for not getting things done have not worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd love some fresh ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6436" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T22:53:00.417" Title="What do you do when a kid finds every excuse imaginable to avoid doing homework and chores?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|motivation|homework|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2014-01-12T00:38:04.833" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10995" CreationDate="2014-01-11T22:53:00.417" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If punishments are not working, switch things around and offer rewards for doing the right thing.  If she completes the task, she gets X reward.  If she completes it quickly, she gets something better.  If it's not done at all, then the standard punishments will be applied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you tidy your room, you can stay up a little later tonight.  If you tidy it within half an hour, you can choose something for us all to watch.  If you don't do it, you go to bed early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is to make the system transactional and predictable, so it's not seen as a series of punishments and rewards.  She will (hopefully) soon realise that if she does X, she gets Y.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing I'd say is to not stand over her.  If you're there, paying attention to her, she's more likely to misbehave.  Send her to do a job, then leave her alone to do it (or not do it).  Then let her reap the consequences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's been good, be happy and affectionate.  If not, don't get cross, just tell her what's going to happen now.  No discussion, no argument and no compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether she likes it or not, you &lt;strong&gt;are&lt;/strong&gt; in charge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T22:53:00.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10997" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-11T23:07:34.480" Score="-1" ViewCount="1493" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend has a 2-year-old child from a past ex. The ex rarely visits his daughter, but the majority of the time he is there to sort of flirt a bit with my girlfriend. He does not know she is seeing someone, because she is mainly afraid he will do something crazy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend is a little into debt with her college, she never finished it because she got pregnant. It really is not that much, but it will grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her ex is pretty much an ass. He stole her and their daughter's birth certificate and stole my girlfriend's ID card. He also used her SSN, we are trying to get social securities to change it, but they said they need concrete physical evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend currently lives with her parents. She does &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; the chores, cooking, cleaning, washing, etc. and has to take care of her daughter. Everyone else pretty much works. There is one person who doesn't, but that isn't important right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend really does need a job. &lt;strong&gt;Now&lt;/strong&gt; a concern of mine is that I am afraid her pay check is going to all go straight to a babysitter. The girl who doesn't work wants to be paid to watch her daughter and &lt;strong&gt;she&lt;/strong&gt; lives in the same house. Personally, she is the type to want to get paid for doing nothing type of person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am unsure what to do. She has tried making accessories here and there and does sell them, but it is not enough to really support her and her daughter as well as other expenses that will arise for her. The entire family is living paycheck-to-paycheck, my girlfriend also needs to use her WIC check to help feed the entire family as well, but most goes towards her daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now me, I live 50 min away. I help her out as much as possible. I pay for everything we do and help her with some of the bills. I am a student, so I don't really mind for now. I got a part time job, which is simple and I get money for it. So, I help her out. The majority of the money is leftover money I have gotten from the government for school. I cannot keep doing this forever or else I will get into debt myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am unsure how to help her. She has no transportation herself, but I am sure she can ride the bus or walk, it is just if she does get a job I don't know who can watch the daughter.&#xA;We were hoping when she does go to school, put her into some after school programs so her mother could work more and not pay anyone to watch her since most after school programs are free, but she is only 2. She won't be in school for a while. Being a college student myself, I am helping her daughter with the learning development her age demands and she is a bright little girl too. Talks, sings well and identifies a lot of objects for only being 2 and a half.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just, my girlfriend does need a job and quick. Her family makes her do all the chores, but she said she feels she doesn't contribute enough so she is willing to do them. At this pace she can't really get far with her life. She will be stuck there and I want to help her flourish into a better life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4810" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-24T12:25:55.327" LastActivityDate="2018-10-24T12:25:55.327" Title="I am not sure how I can help my girlfriend. Looking for some guidance" Tags="|toddler|money|single-parent|babysitting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-01-12T18:58:08.510" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="10998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10971" CreationDate="2014-01-11T23:20:03.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are they aware of other kinds of discrimination? If so, you can tell them that there was a time when just about everyone treated people badly because of their skin colour, the way today some people treat [whatever group they're aware of] badly because of [difference.] Even today, you could go on, there are still some people who are racist, but things have changed a lot in the last 50 or 60 years, and this day is to honour one of the people who worked to create that change in the country. You can then either focus on how to be a person who stands up for change, or teaching them more about what things were like in MLK's time, or go further back in your history should you need to. I don't think I would teach a small child about the specifics of the civil rights movement beyond &quot;treated badly.&quot; The details are likely to upset them and they're pretty young for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are utterly unaware of any kind of institutionalized and widely accepted or supported discrimination, perhaps you could start to point some out to them. Like a doctor assuming someone in a wheelchair can't speak for themselves, or a deaf person being treated as though they're unintelligent, or a same sex couple you know who aren't married or don't have children because they're not allowed to, or a teacher who makes a comment about how strange it is to have a lot of children. Prejudice and discrimination is all around all of us even if we don't practice it ourselves. Then next year when MLK Day comes around, you'll have lots of examples to relate it to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T23:20:03.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="10999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10997" CreationDate="2014-01-11T23:31:10.110" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing to do is to take a deep breath.  This is a situation with a lot of emotional ties pulling your girlfriend in many different directions.  There are a lot of relationships involved so at some point, so tread lightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider where you want you, your girlfriend and her daughter to be in two year's time.  That's your short term goal.  What needs to happen to get there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you're saying, financial security and personal independence are crucial.  To achieve this, your girlfriend will likely need to get a job to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a) Get some money coming in and &#xA;b) Get onto the employment ladder&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a bit of luck, one job leads to another, better job but you can't do that when stuck at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next question, and one that's horrible to ask...  can you trust the babysitter with the wee girl?  You describe the babysitter in quite negative terms but if she'll take care for the little girl, she may be your best short term option.  Professional child care can be very expensive and hard to maintain on an entry level salary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, define your goals and work backwards to determine what needs to happen.  Take positive steps to achieve it and try not to compromise too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The boyfriend is a different matter.  My advice for this is easy to give from where I sit but much harder to implement in real life.  The guy is a bully, who's exploiting a young woman and her child.  ... and this is the bit I'm loathe to type...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your girlfriend needs to step up to protect her child.  She's a mother now and needs to grow some fangs.  The guy needs to return what was taken, stop taking advantage and either start helping or step back.  Your girlfriend is not alone.  She'll have direct support from you and her family plus much wider support from people she doesn't even know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she contact the Authorities, through Social Services, Citizen's Advice or even the police, there are support networks in place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, of course, you could publish his details on the web and we'll set the cyber goons on him :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether this has been helpful or not, I wish you all the best.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-01-11T23:31:10.110" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10971" CreationDate="2014-01-12T02:46:53.983" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I think kids knowing that life isn't always fair and hasn't always been fair for all is actually a good thing (in my experience, it helps keep us reminded of why we should be grateful - so I &lt;strong&gt;would&lt;/strong&gt; introduce this as a concept even to the littlest one.  However, young kids &lt;strong&gt;need&lt;/strong&gt; to be left with a sense of hope in order for these kinds of lessons to build understanding and gratitude rather than create fear.  I think that is pretty easy to do when Martin Luther King Jr. is at the core of the story - build hope - since the impact he made goes far beyond just the US south.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are already showing that you are considering how to be considerate of what each child's developmental stage is - You know what each of your kids can handle in terms of &quot;details.&quot;  &lt;strong&gt;You don't have to go into the really horrible stuff to make the point.&lt;/strong&gt;  Explaining that &quot;colored&quot; bathrooms and water fountains were dirtier, often didn't work and that there were fewer of them than those for &quot;whites&quot; shows how one group was treated unfairly without getting into a lot of detail about violence.  &lt;strong&gt;Be vague with the youngest and increase specificty with age and maturity level.  If they ask for more specifics and you carefully offer it in increments&lt;/strong&gt; - they are leading the way and showing you what they are ready for and what you should probably hold off on for now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0394800893&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Sneetches&lt;/a&gt; by Dr. Seuss can be a non-reality way of introducing the concept of discrimination and opening up discussion about the topic in general.  Before the star-on machine, questions like:  &quot;Are the sneetches with stars treating the other sneetches fairly?  Does having a star reflect the type of friend you might be or how much fun you can actually have?  What might the sneetches with stars learn from the sneetches without?  What could the sneetches without stars do about how they are treated?&quot; are great discussion starters - I'm sure you'll have plenty of further ideas as you read on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, move them into the real world.  My &lt;strong&gt;Favorite&lt;/strong&gt; book discussing the general idea- in particular to Civil Rights of Persons with African Descent, at the moment is actually a fairly new one and is called, &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1423119541&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;We Shall Overcome the Story of a Song&lt;/a&gt;.  Written by Debbie Levy, it is really the describes the history of the song, &quot;we Shall Overcome&quot; and discusses why the song was important to slave communities, groups of people fighting during the Civil Rights Movement in the US, and even how it was picked up by people in South Africa and other locales as an anthem for freedom.  The book's tone is hopeful and uplifting.  The illustrations are also not racist in nature because they include other races also helping in the fight for freedom and don't treat the issue as divided solely by color like some books do (Many whites also fought in the abolitionist movement, for civil rights and so on).  It may be quite long (as there is a lot of text for a picutre book) so you might read it in chunks, but otherwise, I highly suggest checking it out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some other books - including a couple of Caldecott winners (an honor given for amazing and vivid work in children's texts (mostly focuses on illustrations).  One of my favorite Caldecott Winners on the subject is &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/043977733X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Henry's Freedom Box&lt;/a&gt; because it is straight forward and clear and based on a true story from the Underground Railroad.  I also love &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.readingrockets.org/books/interviews/mckissack&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Patricia and Frederick McKissack&lt;/a&gt; for the African American Story in US History (and just good - old- fashioned clever story telling (Have you ever read, &lt;a href=&quot;http://online.redwoods.edu/instruct/tmatsumoto/CMCBooks/lessonplans.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Flossie and the Fox&lt;/a&gt;?).  In particular, by the McKissacks, for teaching a glimpse of what slavery life was sometimes like, I like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/christmas-in-the-big-house-patricia-c-mckissack/1102476529?ean=9780590430272&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Christmas in the Big House, Christmas in the Quarters&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically regarding Martin Luther King Jr. there are a ton of sensitively created books out there that tell his story for a variety of ages.  There is &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0824941446&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Story of Martin Luther King Jr.&lt;/a&gt; by Johnny Ray Moore that is a board book,  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0439782244&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Happy Birthday Martin Luther King Jr.&lt;/a&gt; that is a picture book, and even &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0448447231&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Who Was Martin Luther King Jr.&lt;/a&gt;&quot; by Penguin that is an early chapter book (Penguin also has &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0448454424&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Who was Rosa Parks&lt;/a&gt;&quot; and &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/044842889X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Who was Harriet Tubman&lt;/a&gt; &quot; btw), just to name a few.  Right now is a great time to drop by your bookstore and find a display with all the newest books or Classic MLK books out there so you can go through the choices, and many public libraries have a children's librarian that can help you find some of the quality older ones too.  If a librarian is unable to help, find a reference book like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_8?url=search-alias=stripbooks&amp;amp;field-keywords=a%20to%20zoo%20subject%20access%20to%20children%27s%20picture%20books&amp;amp;sprefix=A%20to%20Zoo,stripbooks,262&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;A to Zoo&lt;/a&gt; which is a subject Access Guide and can help you find more books on almost any subject and will include a short synopsis of many of the books listed within it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not personally familiar with &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/article/collateral_resources/pdf/k/kids_homework_pdfs_Watsons.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Watsons Go to Birmingham&lt;/a&gt;,&quot; not having read the book cover to cover, but it is written with 12-14 year olds in mind and may be a good compliment to &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0140348921&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Let the Circle Be Unbroken&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/book/roll-thunder-hear-my-cry#cart/cleanup&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry&lt;/a&gt; both by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gradesaver.com/author/mildred-taylor/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mildred Taylor&lt;/a&gt;, which might work well for your nine year old depending on Reading Ability (Roll of Thunder is intended for Grades 4-6 and Let the Circle is its sequel both take place during the depression and elucidate how Jim Crow Laws and the Depression affected families of color).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said all of that.  I hope you won't end their civil rights education with an annual quick study of Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Civil rights really address a much broader spectrum of people and issues than just black/white relations.  &lt;strong&gt;Why not introduce the fight for civil rights through your history lessons by addressing a variety of people that have fought for freedoms across the spectrum of genders, colors, cultures, religions etc as they arise in your history study?&lt;/strong&gt;  I think by introducing civil rights over and over again throughout history, rather than just making a special day/month for the fight for civil rights for African Americans in the US will make the fight that much more profound to your kids over time as well as more relatable to your kids.  Using Martin Luther King and Martin Luther King Day is a great jumping off point but definitely not an ending to the possible lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, Helen Keller is known for being deaf and blind, but did you know she worked hard to fight for the rights of persons with a handicap as well as women's rights?  Or what about the multitude of Native Americans that have fought for their rights?  Or Caesar Chavez and his fight for the rights of Migrant Workers?  Poncho Barnes was an aviator and contemporary of Amelia Earhart that fought for women's rights and started a Union for stunt pilots to fight for workers rights against Howard Hughes.  While on the subject of Rights for Workers, what about the Newsies?  They impacted rights of children in the workplace tremendously and their work was a watershed in favor of rights for children in textiles and other industries as well.  The Women's Suffrage movements as well as anti-slavery often went hand in hand with each other and some of the earliest leaders in each movement were active in both movements (Including Susan B. Anthony).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, even the same issue can be interesting presented at a time in history when it is not usually focused on.  Laurie Halse-Anderson's &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1416905863&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Chains&lt;/a&gt; (written for kids about ten or older) was a very interesting read and is set in Revolutionary New York, but told from the perspective of a slave girl.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1416971394&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Slave Dancer&lt;/a&gt;, takes place on a slaving ship after importation of slaves was no longer legal but before the civil war and is told from the perspective of a kidnapped boy pressed into service to play music for the slaves to exercise them on the ship.  It is written with with Middleschool students in mind and shows how slavery even made slaves of others that were neither officially slaves, nor free.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, there are moments in world history as well.  I don't need to remind anybody (I hope) about all the people that fought with and for Jewish people, handicapped people, and homosexuals during the second world war - In order to escape persecution or at least help others escape it (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0547577095&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Number the Stars&lt;/a&gt; by Louis Lowrey).  What about Nelson Mandela (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/034541005X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Power of One&lt;/a&gt; is wonderful for Highschool - RL sixth grade, but considering challenge reading) or Ghandi and their causes? Remember Yugoslavia?  but I'll let you take it from there :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In whatever case and whatever lesson you do regarding Civil Rights, &lt;strong&gt;leave them seeing the power people have when they join together for the common good&lt;/strong&gt; (rather than death or defeat).  &lt;strong&gt;This empowering lesson of overcoming helps them to create resilience in themselves, a sense of empowerment, and to see how &lt;em&gt;people&lt;/em&gt; of any ethnicity, race or credo can come together to do what is right.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T02:59:42.460" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T02:59:42.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11003" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11010" CreationDate="2014-01-12T05:25:09.620" Score="8" ViewCount="4129" Body="&lt;p&gt;What toys are better for 1.5 years old toddler - natural, simple, wooden, unpainted bricks or very colourful ones? Natural were recommended by Rudolf Steiner (and are used in schools teaching with his methods) and they orjust feel right, but most of today's toys are very colorful - any specific reason?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6440" LastActivityDate="2017-12-21T05:05:56.643" Title="Simple, wooden, not painted or colourful toys, bricks?" Tags="|toddler|toys|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11005" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-12T12:04:30.073" Score="10" ViewCount="4598" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10-year-old daughter is going through a difficult time at the moment thinking that she is overweight and that nobody loves her. She has cut her own &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/fringe&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;fringe&lt;/a&gt; off twice and has now got hold of my razor and shaved her eyebrows off. I am so worried that her behavior is a warning sign of self harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6442" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-10T14:58:05.163" LastActivityDate="2021-07-12T15:42:19.733" Title="Is my 10-year-old just playing up or is it a warning sign that self harm is starting?" Tags="|behavior|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10997" CreationDate="2014-01-12T13:12:46.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can she find another woman in the same situations who she TRUSTS?  Through some church group maybe?  One of them can watch the kids, one can work and pay her half?  Two kids are really easier to take care of at that age than only one, they keep each other entertained.  Or they can both get part-time jobs and watch the others kids when they're not working?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastActivityDate="2014-01-12T13:12:46.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11003" CreationDate="2014-01-12T15:27:52.233" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bricks are going to be used to build something, whether they are colored or not. I'd say get colorful ones, because they will allow the built things to have more details - a blue brick may be a window in a house, a black one may be a chimney, green can be grass, and so on. It gives more possibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One might say that the colors will leave less to the imagination. But since the building process requires imagination anyway, I'd say this is a flawed argument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-12T15:27:52.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11003" CreationDate="2014-01-12T16:48:08.253" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Colours give more opportunity for language - &quot;pass the blue block please!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bright colours are appealing to some children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's available tends to be good enough. There comes a point where further optimization is wasteful compared to other things you could be doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Variety is probably good too.  So a plain set might be fun as well as all the other colourful stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose some children might feel overwhelmed by all the different colours, or might want to concentrate on just on colour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be interested to hear if there is any real science behind bright colours for all toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-01-12T16:48:08.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11003" CreationDate="2014-01-12T17:14:18.863" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is actually some science behind those bright colors!  Babies develop eyes, but not full sight in the womb - there isn't a lot to see in there.  There is quite a series of steps in their &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_developmental-milestones-sight_6508.bc?page=1&quot;&gt;visual development in the first year of baby's life&lt;/a&gt;.  While baby can see color from birth, distinguishing between different tones of color is pretty difficult so colors that contrast with each-other and their background are great for young kids.  This is way primary colors - red, blue and yellow are seen so much in BABY toys, as well as why you see patterns with black and white.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By 1.5, kids have pretty well established vision, but as Dan Beale shares, it is all about language development and learning sorting skills.  Blocks with colors and letters/numbers are GREAT for developing a child's ability to distinguish between different groups of things, label and describe what they are after, and connect skills involved with use of symbols (an important precursor to reading).  That is why alphabet blocks are such a classic standard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, paints from the past have been hazardous, so be mindful of the quality of your purchase.  I don't know what kind of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.toyassociation.org/TIA/Priorities_Policy/safety/Priorities___Policy/Industry_Priorities/Product_Safety/Standards.aspx#.UtLMFfaeGWg&quot;&gt;safety standards&lt;/a&gt; coorporations in your area are held to, but you'll want to be sure that in the case of painted blocks, the paints used are safe for children (no lead based paints etc.)  Non-toxic and products made with environmental considerations are generally going to cross-over, but you'll also want to consider size of blocks etc. especially if your child is still mouthing toys so be sure whatever you buy meets high quality CHILD safety standards.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like mostly plain wooden blocks personally - they do have a nice feel to them, so if you are introducing colors and symbols in other aspects of the child's life it really is just a personal choice, and no paint (or sealer) is going to be the absolute safest way to go.  At the same time, safety standards in most European countries are pretty well established (based on the little I've heard about it - I'll admit) and with research you can find good quality blocks which are painted and also perfectly safe.  We had a mixture of both in our house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-12T22:33:20.430" LastActivityDate="2014-01-12T22:33:20.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11003" CreationDate="2014-01-12T17:34:25.757" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Steiner (or Waldorf) education emphasizes imaginative play. The idea with simple toys, in this case uncolored blocks, is that it requires more from the imagination. This is right brain development. The goal is to develop creativity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have pointed out, colors allow you the opportunity to use words to describe, to sort, and to build using patterns. These concepts are mostly left brain concepts (creating patterns is more of a left brain activity, while recognizing them may be right brain). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally would probably choose colored blocks, because I think it is quite possible for a child to build a garage or castle without really &quot;seeing&quot; the colors, and having colored blocks allows you to engage the left side of the brain as well with color recognition, sorting, and patterning. However, the Steiner schools have been very successful with developing creative thinkers, so there may be something to the purist approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-01-12T17:34:25.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11005" CreationDate="2014-01-12T20:51:09.107" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you've listed are 3 symptoms of excessive obsession with self-image... thinking she's overweight, nobody loves her (probably b/c of her perceived appearance), and then being actively destructive to her visible appearance.  Because you have identified these symptoms as unrealistic, it is definitely best to seek the advice of a psychiatrist as only they can evaluate the entirety of your child's state and recommend a balanced approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As some background: my child had some issues which I found concerning and upon taking her to a therapist, she was diagnosed with some issues which the Dr recommended some treatments for, including dietary and sleeping changes, therapy, and medication.  My daughter is now doing much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two additional points: 1) If the Dr wants to &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; throw meds at your child, seek a second opinion; and 2) in the &quot;worst&quot; case scenario, seeking professional advice which results in a &quot;don't worry&quot; diagnosis causes no harm but will give you comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you and your daughter all the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-12T20:51:09.107" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11014" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-13T00:23:26.660" Score="14" ViewCount="3237" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well - I am not entirely sure if this is the right forum, but if you know any, I would really appreciate if you could recommend me some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is about parenting... from the son's perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am 28 and my parents are pushing me to marry someone. Since they are Asian and belong to a somewhat more traditional society, they have even made semi-arrangements with daughters of their friends and colleagues - who are now contacting me asking for dates!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the main problem is that I am already &quot;engaged&quot; to someone. We are in a relationship since 5 years, but we don't want to officially marry until we are established in our careers. I am becoming a lawyer and she is becoming a math professor. It would just seem wrong to marry now. We cannot afford it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But... my parents don't approve of her as she is &quot;Western&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6445" LastActivityDate="2014-08-31T09:42:22.020" Title="How to stop parents from interfering with my love life?" Tags="|relationships|adult-child|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11014" CreationDate="2014-01-13T00:35:04.670" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a very challenging situation: your parents hold beliefs that you do not share.  You're not going to change them and they're not going to change you (most likely anyway.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's most likely that you will simply have to deal with the situation, kindly explaining to the women they send your way your true situation.  They, in turn, will have to deal with your take on life.  They may not like it and depending on how rigid they are in their beliefs, may develop some strong emotions about it, but in the end they cannot force you to do what you don't want to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest that, if you have not already, you politely explain your view of things.  Once will be enough and don't expect immediate acceptance (unless you're lucky).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish I could give you more comforting advice, but I hope it is in some form helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final thought: never hold a grudge against them as this is how they were raised and part of their core beliefs.  They may change at some point in the future and then you definitely want them an active part of your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-13T00:35:04.670" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8125" CreationDate="2014-01-13T06:40:18.657" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has the same thing just to a lesser degree, I am definitely no expert, but the few items that I feel aggravate the situations are: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Our toddler is too tired or spent when she goes to bed. The frequency that she wakes up crying normally will be higher if she is tired going to bed. We try to encourage her to go to bed before she hits the &quot;too tired&quot; stage by spending time reading / singing with her in bed about 30 minutes before her bed time. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Overly mentally stimulating activities tend to cause her to wake up crying too. I am just guessing this could be vivid dreams that she experiences during the night because of her day time activities. There is not much usually I can do about this, but I find that an afternoon nap does help to a certain degree to lessen the edge of night dreaming.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4897" LastActivityDate="2014-01-13T06:40:18.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11017" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-13T15:43:39.950" Score="2" ViewCount="372" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have started giving Nestle Cerelac Rice (12 spoons per day) + 360ml infant formula per day to our 6 month old baby (at the gap of 3 hours). The baby has started producing hard stools for past few days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to fill her stomach with water instead of food. How much water should be given to the baby to reduce constipation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answers with references will be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T15:34:12.383" Title="How much water should be given to an infant producing hard stools?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11017" CreationDate="2014-01-13T17:19:21.723" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, the first answer is the common &quot;ask the doctor&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We asked our, and he said that our girl (10mo) should get about 800ml of liquids daily. Since we can't be sure how much she is getting (my wife is breastfeeding), we do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;adjust the level of water, teas, juices as we observe her diapers;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;we provide her something to drink after 30 min of her last meal. She stops or gives signs she wants more, and we deal with that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure you'll find some specific recommendation, since it varies with lots of factors: his/her age, his/her weight, how much he/she wastes in her diapers, how's the weather or temperature inside your house, if he/she is sweating or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorUserId="2679" LastEditDate="2014-01-14T10:45:40.280" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T10:45:40.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11020" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11194" CreationDate="2014-01-13T18:48:25.623" Score="3" ViewCount="1258" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two days ago our 9 - almost 10 - week old breastfeeding daughter started fussing during evening nursing. Yesterday it was better, there was little screaming (though there was some), but today we're back to really loud and intensive fussing. It's almost crying. And she seems really angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a few minutes she feeds OK - then fusses - then, sometimes, feeds well for some more time. It does not seem to be connected to whether the milk is actually flowing from the breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's nothing that we can think of that had changed in us, our home, the way we feed her or hold her. What could be the reason of her fussiness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T08:34:42.757" Title="9 week old started fussing during evening nursing" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11020" CreationDate="2014-01-13T21:57:15.000" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son behaved in the same way, it turned out to be a candida infection in his mouth. This is very common in babies. I'm sure other people will have plenty of other ideas, but I just wanted to mention this possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-01-13T21:57:15.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11022" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-14T06:10:54.617" Score="1" ViewCount="513" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old daughter wakes up at night crying and fighting. Sometimes I rock her back to sleep and she falls back into a calm sleep. Other times she pushes herself to get away from me or starts yelling and crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anybody give me some advice on what I should do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6444" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-13T12:11:01.247" LastActivityDate="2019-08-13T12:11:01.247" Title="How to help a 2-year-old waking at night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11014" CreationDate="2014-01-14T09:38:50.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask each of them separately &quot;what would you have done and told your parents if they said didn't want you to be with dad/mom&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have little confidence in this to actually change their views, but hopefully that should at least make it clear that your mind is set.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T09:38:50.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11022" CreationDate="2014-01-14T13:47:34.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may be that when she wakes up, she's disoriented and therefore scared.  Put a night light in her room so that it's not dark when she wakes up.  Then, have an extended story time for a few nights. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sit in the room with her, lit only by the night light (if you can manage it) and tell her stories.  Get her used to the look of the room when it's dark, get her used to the idea that she's safe and protected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This kind of behaviour isn't unusual and will pass over time.  I know it's distressing but don't worry about it too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing.. our youngest son would wake up, upset and crying in the middle of the night.  If I tried to comfort him, it would often just make him worse.  It became obvious that even though his eyes were open, he really wasn't awake enough to be coherent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, I learned to go in, let him know I was there and he was safe, then leave the room.  He'd grumble and cry for a minute, then would fall back asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T13:47:34.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11025" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-14T14:16:25.127" Score="45" ViewCount="15213" Body="&lt;p&gt;Alright, I guess a little back story would help. I am a single mother and an only child, I will be 21 in a few months. I've graduated high school with honors and have been raising my daughter on my own since her birth. We do live with my parents still, but I blame the economy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter will be 4 in less than 2 weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We rarely had problems when she was little... But as soon as 3 got close, it became a battle ground. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do it all, I work from home, provide her with her wants and needs, etc, Dad does NOTHING. I feel horrible for admitting this, but I feel like her and I are starting to grow apart. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We fight non stop, time outs aren't allowed because my parents think they are ridiculous, she back talks, hits, harasses people, she acts out on a whim, she throws tantrums all the time, I can't get her to eat any form of real food... I am at my wits end. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She goes to my mom and dad if I yell at her or if I say &quot;No.&quot; Then I get in trouble. But that's not the point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone sees her as being some sweet and darling child, unless I am with her. Then she becomes a rude and obnoxious little brat. I didn't used to be this way... I am considering therapy because I have reached the point where I am angry and frustrated all the time. Oh yeah, she's spoiled... by EVERYONE. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound like a jumbled up mess, but I haven't slept. She has night terrors and has had them since a newborn. She co sleeps with my mom now because I used to work 3rd shift and I'm still on a night life schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had to make one statement to explain how I feel, it would be &quot;I feel unloved and rejected. I wouldn't go back and erase her by any means, but I wish we could grow up as sisters. They're supposed to fight and harass one another until they both run screaming to their rooms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friends have seen this, counselors have spent days with us. Everyone suggests we move out. But with what money? Bills and the car and school eat it all. I look for dance lessons and stuff for her to take to get her out of the house. Preschool is when this started... I don't want to lose her, but I don't think this can be repaired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at a loss and I am wondering if any of this is normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know living with my parents doesn't help, but trust me, we are trying. I pay rent and cover our expenses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please give me some advice, I don't want her to hate me like my mother and I hate one another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6460" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-27T14:22:47.117" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T23:37:10.137" Title="My pre-schooler is out of control, and I feel like my parents are undermining my relationship and authority with her" Tags="|pre-schooler|adult-child|relationships|grandparents|fighting|" AnswerCount="30" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T14:41:09.590" Score="61" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She goes to my mom and dad if I yell at her or if I say &quot;No.&quot; Then I get in trouble. But that's not the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, that &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially considering:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't want her to hate me like my mother and I hate one another&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your parents aren't letting you be your daughter's parent.  This is a major problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to sit down and talk with your parents, and establish what your various roles are.  Explain that you are your daughter's mother, and that their actions are preventing you from having any sort of authority with your own daughter, and that it is causing problems with the relationship between the two of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Describe the behavior issues you're seeing, and tell them that you feel like whenever you do anything to improve the situation, your daughter goes to your parents, and they take her side, effectively preventing you from acting like a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may or may not be a productive conversation, depending on your parents' perspective, but the calmer you are, and the more you can avoid sounding accusatory, the better your chances of getting a positive discussion going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it doesn't go well, ask them if they'd be willing to go to family therapy &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before this conversation, you may want to crunch some numbers.  Look at rent costs for cheap housing, come up with some budgets, and look for alternatives for preschool or daycare (since your daughter is not yet 4, I'm assuming she isn't in mandatory public schooling yet).  The goal is to see if you can set an ultimatum of moving into an alternative situation, if the conversation with your parents is ultimately not productive.  Don't mention this unless it is clear that they are absolutely unwilling to compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting yourself and your daughter into a different living situation, even if you have to sacrifice a LOT, may be your best alternative, if your parents are dead-set on ignoring your role as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your relationship with your daughter, it may be hard to find the time, but try to set aside an hour a day to do whatever your daughter wants (within reason) as &quot;Mommy-Daughter time&quot;.  If you let her have general control of these play sessions (again, within reason), it may eliminate her feeling the need to create conflict with you. Ideally, the two of you will actually have fun.  However, it sounds like &quot;just not fighting&quot; would be an improvement, and may help you feel like you're not constantly fighting and harassing each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may not sound like much, but it can be a start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-14T14:46:56.540" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T14:46:56.540" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T16:09:15.890" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what you describe, it sounds like you're making a huge and sensible effort to be a good parent. I think you would do well in a situation where you are not overruled. &#xA;But it's clear from your description that &lt;strong&gt;your parents are overruling your parenting decisions,&lt;/strong&gt; and this is the thing that causes you the most grief. This is what you should work on -- your parents must respect your decisions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it sounds like your daughter is spoiled, but that is neither her fault nor yours. &lt;strong&gt;Her being spoiled is merely a consequence&lt;/strong&gt; and it would be futile to fight this without changing the reason first. This consequence is the result of how your parents treat her, and how they treat you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must first understand the situation before you can begin to change the situation. &#xA;By living with your parents, &lt;strong&gt;you implicitly accept to live by the rules of the house,&lt;/strong&gt; and that puts you in a tight spot. Here is my &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3551/109&quot;&gt;response to a related situation&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When legally adult children continue to live with their parents, they implicitly accept to live by the rules of the house because they are legally free to choose to move out and live by their own rules. [...] You need to understand what your parents' reasoning is. Once you understand their point of view and their concerns, you can prepare a case for yourself. So: first talk to them but don't argue, and then at another time talk to them again and make your case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't change everything at once, but you can either take one small victory at a time, or go for just one bigger issue to begin with. Figure out for yourself what specific things cause the most grief and discuss that single issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beofett's suggestion to aim for positive recreational time with your daughter is very important too! Don't neglect that, because it has nothing to do with your parents and lets you take positive actions as a mental balance to confrontational ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T16:09:15.890" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T17:00:53.720" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, your daughter's behavior is perfectly normal for her age.  I don't know if that thought is terrifying or comforting.  They are basically hardwired to seek out the adult of least resistance.  The usual way for households to survive that stage is by all adults getting on the same page, which is sometimes easier said than done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your parents don't see you fully as a parent and an adult.  This is common even in situations where people have moved out and gotten married before having children.  You are looking for a way to change their mind with a minimum of conflict, but that is essentially impossible to do without their cooperation and support.  The only behavior and attitude you can reliably change is your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to assert your authority.  Doing so will make things worse before it gets better, but it will eventually get better.  You are fully justified in overriding their decisions where your daughter is concerned, and you should do so.  Your daughter flees to your parents because it works.  If it stops working, she will eventually stop trying.  Your parents should be the ones &quot;getting in trouble&quot; for overriding your parenting decisions, not the other way around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take back some of the positive things for yourself as well, like the cosleeping, even if it's a sacrifice for you to adjust your schedule.  Try to get to a point where you don't depend on your parents at all for help parenting your daughter, so any help is a bonus, not a necessity.  That will show them (and yourself) that you are capable of handling parenting on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your friends are right that you need to move out, but there are intermediate stages between living with your parents and living completely on your own.  If you are paying rent, you should be able to demand some private space that your parents must leave you and your daughter alone in, just as if they were boarding a stranger.  If they refuse to honor that, then you should save your rent for a deposit on your own place.  Rental agreements go both ways.  If they insist on treating you like a child, insist on the concomitant rent-free benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is to get a roommate, either another single mother or a friend or maybe one of your own siblings if you have any.  There are a lot of people in similar financial situations to yours who are looking for more independence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T17:00:53.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T19:00:17.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;How much time per day are you actively parenting your child?  How much time are your parents actively parenting your child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason everyone suggests you move out is to force you to actively parent your child for more hours per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt your parents are actively trying to undermine your authority.  Your authority is being undermined as a symptom of your lack of time with your child.  It may be that most of her waking hours are spent with other caregivers - in which case she is very likely to having a stronger relationship with them than with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take back your time if you want to take back your authority.  Change your schedule so she spends the most time with you and not others, and most of the problems described will be better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this comes at a very high cost for you in terms of your own convenience and comfort, but in addition to setting rules with your parents and the other suggestions here, the change that will make the biggest impact is simply the amount of time you spend with your daughter every single day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T19:00:17.020" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T19:14:43.343" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The whole point is your mother and father seem to be trying to control how you raise the child. They are grandparents and as tough as it may be, maybe getting space from them will help you and your little girl. Mom seems to be undermining you. If this is so, then you do not need to take it lying down. You are the only child. That is their only granddaughter. Time to get to ultimatums if your &quot;NO&quot; is undermined. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Mom, I do not think it is helpful if you tell her yes when I say &quot;no.&quot; Is it?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Mom, would you like it if I went to dad behind your back and he said &quot;yes&quot; when you said &quot;no&quot;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is fixable. Control is about that. And this is a big issue in this household.  Do not put up with it. It WILL harm the learning curve of your little girl.  Move out is my advice. Do not ask for help from anyone but your mates. Do not leave a forwarding address. It is called tough love. You need to apply to both your girl and your parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom and Dad no doubt helped you lots and see it as their house their rules.  But not when it conflicts with what YOU want for YOUR daughter.  Get a roommate who is sensible. Get help vetting them from a trusted mate, aunt, grandmother.  They need to talk to you as to why they do this. Maybe they are disappointed, maybe as above &quot;their house their rules.&quot; Easy answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6465" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-01-14T19:21:49.143" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T19:21:49.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T19:56:39.400" Score="37" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, your interaction with your toddler is totally common (I would say it's borderline universal, actually). Toddlers that age love to push boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say two things - the first is, don't sweat it so much. If your kid only eats crap, let it happen. They're seriously not going to be a 20 year old who only eats chicken nuggets. Hitting and being mean to others is bad, so I would focus my energy there. If you're fighting all the time, then try to find things that you can let slide (and really let them slide in your &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; mind - don't just ignore them and let them fester internally). You'll feel better by fighting less and really, your kid is going to be fine if you let minor things go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thing is that the biggest problem here is your parents. I think a lot of grandparents don't like to say &quot;no&quot;, which is fine if the kid only sees them every once in a while. But when it's every day like with you, that's a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest telling your parents that under no circumstances can they undermine you. And if they're not comfortable telling the kid &quot;no&quot;, that they should just give the &quot;ask mommy&quot; response. That way they get off without needing to confront the kid - which they're obviously uncomfortable doing - and you get to be the authority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A quick story to (hopefully) make you feel better - my wife and I are almost always on the same page with our daughter (who's about your daughter's age). But my daughter &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; asks both of us when she wants to do something and she gets an answer she doesn't like from one. It has basically never worked for her but she does it anyway on the off chance that one of us slips up. Now that's a kid who's been getting essentially &lt;em&gt;non&lt;/em&gt;-conflicting answers from authority figures. Imagine what a kid does when &quot;shopping around&quot; for an answer works to her advantage? Your parents need to stop that nonsense ASAP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6466" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T19:56:39.400" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10994" CreationDate="2014-01-14T20:26:33.147" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=topsy%20tail%20tool&quot;&gt;topsy tail tool&lt;/a&gt; can be used to help make a plain ponytail if you find your fingers are too cumbersome to manage the hair tie.  However, even with thick or long fingers you'll find that using hair ties simply takes time and practice.  At first it'll be difficult, time consuming, and the results won't be great, but like tying shoes, after doing it hundreds of times you'll find you can use one without even thinking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there's no shame in using tools to get those seemingly tiny bands onto someone's hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also ask your wife for other methods.  She may be using the bands because she thinks it'll be easy for you, but there are a number of creative ways to use clips, hairpins, and barrettes to accomplish the same goal.  Who knows, with some creative practice you may find your daughter preferring your hairstyling to the simple ponytail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T20:26:33.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10872" CreationDate="2014-01-14T20:33:53.050" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can purchase &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=baseboard%20heater%20covers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baseboard heater covers&lt;/a&gt; that will replace or go over the existing covering and has holes too small for children to put their fingers in, preventing most burns.  The cover will still get hot, but as long as you allow normal convection airflow and keep the area immediately around the heater open, the covers should never get hot enough to burn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are simple enough that you could even make one yourself using punched, decorative sheetmetal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T20:33:53.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10782" CreationDate="2014-01-14T20:40:13.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consider making a &quot;calm down jar&quot; for her.  It's essentially a homemade snowglobe where you shake it up and watch the glitter fall.  While they are often used to calm down angry or frustrated children, you can certainly use one to help calm an energetic child be redirecting her attention to something complex and interesting.  There are instructions for making one here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.instructables.com/id/DIY-Calming-Glitter-Jars/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.instructables.com/id/DIY-Calming-Glitter-Jars/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It won't solve all your issues, but it'll be one more tool you may find yourself using more than you might think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T20:40:13.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T20:43:27.263" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If this is how things are, accept that you're going to be living with your mum and dad for quite a bit longer and make the best of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Organise something fun out of the house to do with the entire family. A little walk in the park, anything, nothing stressful or fancy, the simpler the better. At a time when everybody can join without being stressed, say for an hour or so in the weekend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think very carefully ahead about the trip. Make it as likely as possible to succeed. So make sure she's had her nap if she still needs it, that you've got something with you that she likes to eat and drink, that you have wet wipes or some cloth in case of smudgy accidents. Bring the buggy if it's a bit far for her to toddle all the way. Etc etc. Maybe bring a favorite toy along, or a coloring book if you're going to have a drink at the end. Maybe bring a little present for her to unwrap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about your mum too, try to think of something she too will enjoy. Maybe you can think of something she likes that you can bring along. Piece of chocolate for all to share but that she especially likes, I don't know. Again something simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't tell them ahead of time where you're going, the trip's likely to get taken over by mum then. Just ask if they can keep the time free to join you. Cause the point is, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;'ll be planning the trip, and &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;'re bringing the stuff. If your child throws a tantrum, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;'ll try and fix it and &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;'ll have brought the goods to do so.&#xA;Don't try to do too fancy a job of parenting exactly then, it's supposed to be fun. But if she's going to get spoiled, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;'re going to do the spoiling. In short, everybody is happy, and you're in the role where you'd like to be, the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh and try not to get into arguments with your mum. If she's being impossible, handle it just like you would the little girl: distract, bribe, apply a sense of humor. And just smile and count to ten. ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3721" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T20:43:27.263" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T21:09:30.283" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience... children learn from their parents, this also means they do things like copy our mannerisms, behaviour, attitudes, expressions and so on.  If you hate your mom, it may be wise to observe, pay attention, and become aware of your thoughts, actions, expression and behaviour.   Your daughter is probably copying your behaviour, attitude and how you treat your mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6473" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T21:09:30.283" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10813" CreationDate="2014-01-14T21:22:06.333" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of my kids went through this as a stage in their life.  There's little we could do, beyond stopping and getting them out, or letting them cry it out.  Occasionally distraction would work (for trips longer than 45 minutes we may have a movie running), other times making sure they wake up &lt;em&gt;completely&lt;/em&gt; helps, as they seemed to be in the state where they were awake, didn't want to be awake, and in a normal bed they would merely shift positions and go back to sleep. We try to keep a few things with us that they really like, which they rarely get to play with.  If their unhappiness is lengthy, I might let him play with my cell phone, for instance.  Getting to do something rare and fun often wakes them up enough to settle down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They never wanted to talk to us about why they were unhappy, and if distraction didn't work and we couldn't stop, then letting them go through their little fit was what we did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is likely this is a stage and it will pass as they grow. It may be distressing for you, but if it's distracting for the driver you should stop and get them settled down before continuing the trip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T21:22:06.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T21:27:13.020" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of good answers here. I just want to add one thing that you can do straight away that might make your situation a tiny bit more bearable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before entering the house when coming home from work, or before getting up in the morning, anytime just before you will position yourself in a situation that likely will result in tantrums and/or fighting, take a couple of slow breaths and remind yourself to really try to stay calm and positive. It might make it much easier for you not to lose your own temper, and that in turn will result in more positive reactions back to you from both your daughter and your parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3728" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T21:27:13.020" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-14T21:52:36.047" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Back when I was a student teacher, my supervising teacher taught me a valuable thing about child psychology: kids (these were elementary-school kids) tend to focus on one person as &lt;em&gt;the&lt;/em&gt; authority figure. If I was teaching a lesson at the front of the room but my supervising teacher was still watching in the back, as far as the kids were concerned, &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; was still The Teacher; I couldn’t be The Teacher until I taught a lesson with him out of the room entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And very young children have an extremely black-and-white view of the world. There is Good and there is Evil and there is no middle ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on what you’ve written, it seems like you’re in a dynamic where your daughter sees your mother as the actual authority in the house, but a Good authority that dispenses whatever goodies she wants... and you are the Evil intermediary that tries to keep her away from the goodies.  And when you and your mother fight over how to raise your daughter, your daughter sees an epic struggle between Good and Evil, and she cheers when Good triumphs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(All this, by the way, is entirely within the range of normal four-year-old behavior. She can be a first-class beeeyotch at age 4 and still go on to win the Nobel Peace Prize at age 44.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have said here, I think the real key is ironing out your relationship with your own mother.  Are there any limits that she is willing to set with your daughter, for the sake of all the adults in the house being on the same page discipline-wise?  If she’s against time-outs, what behavior management methods does she accept, and can you stand to use them?  Does she think it’s cute when your daughter sasses you?  Are there things that your mother wants from &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can use as leverage to influence &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; behavior? Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The prudent course may just be to let your mother take point on raising your daughter until you have the means to move out.  Which sucks rocks, but sometimes you need to choose your battles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6471" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T21:52:36.047" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10994" CreationDate="2014-01-14T23:19:14.543" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If her hair is long enough, you could try French plaits - these give the hair a lot of friction, so when you put the hair band on the end it stays together quite well, usually for a couple of days before you need to remove it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do just want to stick with a pony tail or bunches, my technique is to give the hair a bit of a twist to hold it together and then for fine hair (like my youngest daughter has) use two hair bands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-01-14T23:19:14.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T00:20:37.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to existing good answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget that to manage these multiple situations you have to think straight, so find a way to relax and clear your mind. As they instruct you on the airplanes, in case of oxygen loss, first put the breather mask on yourself, only then on your child. Because if you lose consciousness, your child might not be able to put the mask on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About &quot;time-outs&quot;. If it works, why not? Unless &quot;why not&quot; is considerable. Be sensible about tricks and roundabout ways to make your daughter behave. Aggressive parenting can lead to serious psychological traumas, but so can &quot;white lies&quot; and other such seemingly harmless things cause your daughter to lose your trust in future. Personally, I recommend honesty and thorough explanations to not telling everything or keeping something from your daughter. If you expect her to grow into a fully developed adult, ask yourself why you would hide some things from her. One way or another she will eventually find out what was kept from her, but better to gain her trust early by telling. Maybe try explaining the parents trying to overrule your authority. Why other people spoil her so much, and why you can't afford (financially and for other reasons) to do so. Explain why it is improper and why she shouldn't expect such behavior from everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being on bad terms with your parents can be bad influence on your children. Consider living separately. Evaluate your possible new conditions and see if you'd be better off living away from your own parents. It might be best for your daughter too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6483" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T00:20:37.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4059" CreationDate="2014-01-15T01:42:17.337" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something is scaring or upsetting him. Change the routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think 9 months is old enough for showers. Maybe try that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just hold him, sit on the floor and be very careful (to not drop him, splash too much water in his face, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6487" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T01:42:17.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T02:04:35.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds exactly like my 5 year old and my family. Don't worry about what anyone says, you need to be strict. Your parents and anyone else spectating should get something else to do when you are helping YOUR child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be mad at them for trying to help but ONE authority is all your child needs. Don't worry you will NEVER lose the battle ... your child will always be YOUR child and she will love you just the same reprimanded or not. DON'T GIVE UP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to your parents what you want their role to be. IF they don't agree it is their problem ... be firm hold your ground. Time outs are simply a way to get the child to sit down and think of what they are doing. Sometimes I sit and stare at my child and ask what is wrong to get his side... this often lets him get his way without actually getting his way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6490" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-06T23:37:10.137" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T23:37:10.137" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T05:53:00.587" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a father of a young girl only slightly older than yours, I can assure you, all the behavior you've described is perfectly normal. She is doing exactly what a child of her age should be doing. It's a very challenging age. She is a little person with her own personality, her own will, and her own opinions, and this is just how she is attempting to express that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to lose the idea that things are supposed to be easier, or that your relationship with her should be a particular way. Being a parent is just hard work, and it's certainly not always enjoyable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a couple of things that I will say. Don't be in too big of a hurry to move out. You may think it will make things easier, but I can guarantee that it won't. Your parents are probably doing a hundred little things every day to help out, that you may not even be aware of. However hard it is being a parent, it's going to be a thousand times harder doing it on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nature of your relationship with your parents is very normal for this stage in your life. Everyone goes through this. It's just that much more challenging because you're trying to deal with it at the same time as raising a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something that might be worth remembering. Your parents aren't completely clueless when it comes to child raising. They actually have a lot more experience with this than you do. Their opinions are worth listening to. You are the way you are because of how they raised you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't hate your mum. Really, you don't...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the following statement ... &quot;I don't want to lose her, but I don't think this can be repaired&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What??? This statement makes no sense when you're talking about your child. This is for keeps. You can be a good mother, or a bad mother, but you can't stop being her mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to clarify this bit...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I used to work 3rd shift and I'm still on a night life schedule&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you aren't still working late shift? You've just got into a bad habit of staying up late? If so, be a bit disciplined, and try to fix this. If anyone is co-sleeping with your daughter, it should be you. Co-sleeping can help tremendously to build intimacy and trust with a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This statement I find very sad...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Then she becomes a rude and obnoxious little brat&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't disrespect your child... Just don't...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's not rude, obnoxious, or a brat. She's just being a 3 year old, and you love her with every fiber of your being. She is the reason you exist... Just keep telling yourself this, and you'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6496" LastEditorUserId="6496" LastEditDate="2014-01-15T05:59:38.253" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T05:59:38.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11050" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-15T06:18:16.590" Score="5" ViewCount="701" Body="&lt;p&gt;As working parents, sometimes my wife and I resort to lying to our children when we are going to work, going out or leaving them behind in the house. If I have time I normally try to talk to my daughter, giving her reasons why I need to leave the house. This generally works if I have the time. If I don't I sometimes take the easy way out and tell the maid to take her upstairs a while or out for a little while, then proceed to sneak out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, will this kind of &quot;lying&quot; to her have any long lasting psychological effects of her when she grows up ? What would be a better way ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4897" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T18:50:24.723" Title="Are there any effects from lying to your children?" Tags="|toddler|working-parents|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T08:04:22.303" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You sound like you are in a very bad situation right now and I want you to know that you are taking a courageous and important first step by seeking objective feedback about your situation. As a therapist,I will echo what many have said previously...your relationship with your mother is the root of many of the issues you are having with your child. A good policy when approaching a potentially contentious subject with someone is to use &quot;I&quot; statements. For example, you might find yourself saying something like &quot;Mom,you are turning Mary into a spoiled brat by not telling her no when she behaves inappropriately.&quot; When phrased that way, your mom is going to be on the defensive from the very beginning and conflict will usually ensue. Try changing your statement to &quot;Mom,I feel overwhelmed and a bit desperate when Mary misbehaves and you do not correct her.&quot; Phrased this way, what your mother hears first is what's going on with you...not an attack (or perceived attack) on her. Practice reframing your statements to the &quot;I feel (fill in the blank) when you (fill in the blank).&quot; If you and your mother can get to where you each feel respected by one another,perhaps y'all can have more productive discussions and less destructive arguments.&#xA;Secondly, as you might imagine,a therapist is going to encourage you to get counseling. I understand that your mother definitely made it clear that she was not interested. Even if she and your dad do not go, you can still gain a lot of useful information and learn new strategies for dealing with your situation by visiting a therapist alone. I also realize that finances are a concern. There are low cost options available,however. If you attend a church/synagogue/etc.,many times someone there will have the training necessary to help you. Another option is that if there is a university where you live, there might possibly be a counseling center where you could get free/low-cost counseling from a student therapist near the end of training. Your city might also provide other affordable options...just a Google search away.  I can imagine that you might be thinking &quot;Wait,I am not the problem here. It's my mom...why should I be the one getting counseling?&quot; Don't think of it as you being the problem, think of it as you being the one who is willing to get help with a difficult situation.&#xA;I wish you, your daughter, and your parents the very best. There is a way out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6500" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T08:04:22.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11050" CreationDate="2014-01-15T09:18:49.013" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't see that you're lying to her when you send her to her room and then sneak out - that sounds more like &lt;em&gt;tricking her.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My question is, will this kind of &quot;lying&quot; to her have any long lasting psychological effects of her when she grows up ? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not a psychologist but I don't think this will give her &lt;em&gt;permanent&lt;/em&gt; problems. But it can very well give her problems during her early childhood! Tricking her that often (and not occasionally, with the purpose of entertainment) will make her not trust you because she will never know whether you'll be downstairs or not, and uncertainty makes her uncomfortable. We all fear the unknown.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What would be a better way ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Neither lying nor tricking should be necessary for the purpose of going to work.&lt;/strong&gt; I would suggest that you tell her plainly that you are going to leave for work, and of course promise that you will return before it gets dark (use some time reference that she can understand). She will have to learn that you must be away for a while most days, but she must also learn to trust that you always return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T09:18:49.013" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11050" CreationDate="2014-01-15T09:24:54.527" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lying or tricking her now doesn't really seem like a harmful thing at the moment but it will soon become a habit.&#xA;And when this occurs your child will gradually stop believing what you say or worse still think its okay to do the same to you as they grow older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possible Solution:&#xA;Since this is an everyday thing and you have no choice but to go to work I would suggest sitting your kid down and talking to her about. Also plan fun activities for when you come back - like a trip to get some icecream or some family gametime/tea party etc so that they have something to look forward to throughout the day.&#xA;This will also shift the focus from the time that you leave to the time that you come home!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T09:24:54.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2014-01-15T09:37:30.190" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think if you're only 25 years old you have a good 10-15 years for some babymaking.&#xA;All your points sound valid and I agree completely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should ask your wife for some time. Set a date. Perhaps a year or two from now when you'll can open this discussion up again. Maybe one of you will change your minds by then. At the moment I'm guessing shes at home looking after the kids all the time so she thinks its her call whether to have another one or not. Explain calmly and rationally all your reasons for putting having a fourth kid on hold for now. Make sure that you say 'on hold' and not 'never ever'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now if definitely not the time to have another child. But make sure you hear her out and get her to understand that, not just tell her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T09:37:30.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10994" CreationDate="2014-01-15T09:51:20.280" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about two pigtails or two plaits. I'm sure theres a YouTube video out there that shows you how. Divide and conquer?&#xA;Also if you can tie her hair in a lose ponytail theres a style called the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AQLoOIBNJ0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;French Twist&lt;/a&gt; which is really simple to do and looks very pretty. Not to mention it doesn't come loose easily. And you'll score major points for being the only dad who knows how to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T09:51:20.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2014-01-15T09:59:53.613" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why don't you take her with you and get her to select a nice colorful cloth elastic head band? In my experience it keeps the hair out of the eyes and gradually conditions it to grow or set in the other direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T09:59:53.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T10:04:37.453" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I would have acted like that, my parents would have given me a good spanking. Children may seem to be uncontrollable, but if their tantrums cause them pain they will learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realise this will kill the love at first, but it will come back later when the kid learns how nice you are when it's well-behaved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, to the commenter who said that you should indulge in its eating habits: don't. Contrary to what that commenter says, people mostly stick with the eating habits from their youth. There are a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of reasons why you want to cultivate a varied diet in your kid, like: better health, people with varied diets tend to enjoy food more, they will be less of a pain in the ass when they grow up and they get in social situations where they have to cook together with others. Actually, in the last situation isn't good for the person self either: I know people like that and they themselves too really hate having to argue over food all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And don't let your parents spoil your kid. Go to the gym, bulk up, and just (threaten to) use violence to get them to comply. Kids and grandparents naturally conspire, so this is an excellent example of why you shouldn't get kids when you cannot stand on your own, but what's done is done. Can't get your parents to comply? &lt;strong&gt;Move out.&lt;/strong&gt; If you cannot afford it any more, drop out of school and get some stupid job. Your kid is more important than you, for it will be around long after you're dead and buried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6505" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T10:04:37.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11014" CreationDate="2014-01-15T10:08:28.803" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think with Asian parents, theres no changing there minds. Its up to you to decide if you're serious about the girl you are with currently and if so let it be known. &lt;strong&gt;Loud and Clear.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Introduce her to them. To others in your family too. If you have open minded relatives whom you are close to bring them into the picture. See if they cant try and get your parents to let up a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Openly tell their daughters friends that you're not interested as your already committed to someone else. Once word spreads hopefully you'll get approached by future suitors less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T10:08:28.803" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T10:55:32.953" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of sensible advice has already been given here. Here are some additional two cents from me: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You need to move out, or confront your own parents. Put &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; in therapy if need be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trouble with parents is that their children never grow up in their eyes, and the parents always think to be smarter and wiser. They also love to keep the same authority over you that they enjoyed when you were a toddler. So my own experience with my parents is that they need a good dose of tough &quot;childing&quot; (the inverse of tough &quot;parenting&quot;): they need to understand that you've grown up, live your own life, and make your own decisions (good or bad). Parents have a tough time adjusting to their children growing up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, you need to ramp up your authority wrt to your parents. This is a useful fight that you could pick.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your child needs (more) limits. The trouble with kids (and humans, more generally) is that they love to push boundaries. And kids are excellent (intuitively, of course, but still excellent) at power play. They will emotionally blackmail you out of anything they desire. In this sense imposing children with artificial boundaries from earliest possible age is useful. Otherwise they can quickly get spoiled, and assume that they're entitled to much more than they actually are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But as others noted, pick your fights wisely: decide for yourself what is (1) &lt;code&gt;absolutely unacceptable&lt;/code&gt; and (2) oh well, &lt;code&gt;who cares?&lt;/code&gt;. Regarding (2), kids do need a space where they can do stupid things; this will eat up their energy, and they will be less interested in doing (1).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also important to clearly separate punishments from day-to-day business as usual. In the sense that you shouldn't keep grudges from punishments and perpetuate them in day-to-day routine. But punishments for &lt;em&gt;absolutely unacceptable&lt;/em&gt; incidents should be swift and automatic; kids need to associate the incident with the punishment, and have a hearty desire to avoid the punishment. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6506" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T10:55:32.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11061" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-15T12:02:41.627" Score="6" ViewCount="2521" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a little bit confused about the &lt;strong&gt;feelings&lt;/strong&gt; I have toward my parents. Since my parents started to have some problems with money, the peace in my family was gone. They started to blame their children (at that time I was just 16 years-old, now I am 22) because they were never able to find a solution for that. So the easiest thing is to blame the children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically after all those problems, my mother lied to my father and hid from him that she requested money from his best friend (in that time). She lies very very often in order to ask for money (unfortunately is difficult to believe her). So she has some problems with her business, I think it's not profitable anymore and to hide all those financial problems she continues to ask money inventing some lies (included me and my siblings). But in the end I love her, because she always gave to their children what she could and what she couldn't. She is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; selfish person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, my father always paid the bills (he had luck to find nice job, then he got fired, and my mother was covering him for 10 years until he retired) but now he always thinks that he is the boss in the family, basically he does nothing, as for e.g. cleaning the dishes or helping with the house. He only pays. I feel I have worst relationship with my father because he has hurt me in the past. He never put on hand on me, but he told me things that one father should never tell to his son. The example that I have always in my memory is when I was 18 years-old, he came to my place of work, drunk and he told me &quot;I will kill you&quot;. Since then I have a lot of negative emotions towards him. However, I know he paid for a lot of things for me. I have studied and 6 months ago finished my bachelor. I am thankful to him for that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically I see my father as the one who pays but also as the one who will tell you and remind you all the time that he pays. However he is very selfish, for example he will buy some expensive stuff for him, and then blame us to save money on the energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I couldn't continue in that bad environment I moved away from the house and country. However I feel bad some times because I see they aren't helping me that much as I expected. I will go back now for a visit to home, but I have so many things to be solved. I need to know which feelings I have towards them. I love them but I have so many negative emotions when seeing their figure in my mind. What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks and sorry for long post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6507" LastEditorUserId="28295" LastEditDate="2017-11-24T05:21:10.800" LastActivityDate="2017-11-24T08:06:53.247" Title="Don't know what I feel toward my parents" Tags="|parents|money|adult-child|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T12:21:37.407" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your Mom thinks she loves you but &lt;strong&gt;she needs to win&lt;/strong&gt;!  She treats it like a contest.  She has many hidden ways of manipulating you and she is hitting you, too.  Now she is winning the contest of being a parent to your daughter.  All in the name of love, because she doesn't see that the goal of raising a child is to raise &lt;strong&gt;an independent strong person&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You think this is a safe environment for your daughter but it is NOT!  Your Mom has already manipulated you into saying that you wish your daughter could be your sister.  This is horrible.  You &lt;strong&gt;need to get out of the house&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is most important here.  Hit up a friend for a loan &lt;strong&gt;if you can't do it any other way&lt;/strong&gt; and you need the money.  &lt;strong&gt;Be that horrible person who does that.  Your daughter is most important here.&lt;/strong&gt;  That your Mom not turn you into a crippled bitter helpless person is next.  But promise that in turn you will follow all the advice on this website to raise your daughter lovingly to be an independent strong person.  This is the time to make sacrifices to start this process&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you have been out of the house for a while your mother will learn to think of you differently.  Then you can be friends.  So don't be mean to her or burn your bridges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that you love your daughter but raising a kid is hard.  You can't &quot;react naturally&quot; like you would to friend because she is a child.  You have to think first.  And you train yourself to react differently, not to get mad when she does things wrong, because she doesn't have the brain yet to do them right.  But the joys are amazing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T12:21:37.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10994" CreationDate="2014-01-15T13:37:37.680" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I rarely have time for doing elaborate styles, I've never found pony tails especially difficult. This is perhaps because I have two younger sisters, and perhaps also because I myself wore a pony tail for a number of years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I spend a few minutes brushing her hair first. (Somehow it's always a complete bird's nest in the morning — yet when my hair was long, it rarely needed brushing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I grab it into an approximate pony tail with my left hand. This is a &quot;low&quot; pony tail, heading downwards at about 30° from the vertical. I then use the hair brush in my right hand to brush her hair from front to back, to get all the remaining strands into the pony tail, and make it look a little tighter and neater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I then put down the brush and use my right hand to wrap a non-decorative elasticated hair tie around the pony tail. How many times it will need to be wrapped depends on how much hair there is, and the size and elasticity of the tie. Three of four times usually seems about right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can then be supplemented with a more decorative tie or ribbon if desired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I get her to face me, and I secure the front with clips, usually around four of them. This is because the front strands, being furthest from the hair tie, are most likely to become loose, and if they do become loose, are most likely to get in her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because I am often asked to show her what her hair looks like, and because arranging the mirrors just so is a chore, I have an unusually large number of photos of the back of my daughter's head on my phone. &lt;a href=&quot;http://buzzword.org.uk/2014/IMAG0266.jpeg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;So I shall share one with you.&lt;/a&gt; It's not as neat as I would have liked, but perfectly functional. It may look off centre, but that's just her head being crooked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can also do plaits and buns, and am available for hire. ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T13:37:37.680" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11061" CreationDate="2014-01-15T13:42:39.400" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, your parents are the only parents you have, and they will always be your parents.  It can be easy at times to forget this, particularly while you are angry at them, but underneath it all, they're your family, and you (almost certainly) love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being angry/disappointed/frustrated with someone is not mutually exclusive with loving them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone has flaws.  As children, it is usually much harder for us to see the flaws in our parents.  This makes it somewhat disconcerting when you suddenly reach the point in your life where you're able to start noticing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step I'd suggest for you to find a way to reconcile your relationship with your parents is one you've already taken: move out, and get some distance (both literal and figurative) between you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you're not dealing with the problems at &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; home, it becomes easier to let go of the anger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thing I'd suggest is... talk to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pick &lt;strong&gt;one&lt;/strong&gt; thing you'd like to address, with either your mother or your father.  My suggestion would be the comment from your father about killing you.  He was drunk, and it clearly bothers you a lot.  Tell him that you remember that, and that it still upsets you.  Don't bring up the subject in front of your mother or anyone else, by the way... this should just be between you and your father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to use &quot;I&quot; language.  It sounds less accusatory.  By &quot;I&quot; language, focus on what you felt, and how you perceived things.  Say things like &quot;it really scared me&quot; or &quot;I was really upset&quot; or even &quot;I don't know if you meant it&quot;, rather than &quot;&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; really scared me,&quot; &quot;&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; really upset me,&quot; or &quot;did &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; mean it?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've opened the subject on one of the things that's bothering you... give it time.  Don't bring up the next issue the next time you go and visit, or possibly even the time after that.  Be sure to try and have several visits where there is no confrontation or stress (or, if that can't be avoided, try to ensure that you aren't the one initiating it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Situations like this take time to heal.  Years, in my experience.  Have patience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T13:42:39.400" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11050" CreationDate="2014-01-15T13:44:03.967" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not aware of any unusual long term psychological effects this may cause. But from an educational point of view this of course contributes to your kids development, depending on how often you lie to them and how severe the lies are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always remember that children will assume their parents behaviour as the prototypical human behaviour, when learning patterns. If you lie a lot they will learn that lying is a valid (or even &lt;em&gt;the&lt;/em&gt;) way of doing things or accomplishing effects. Means, they will start lying a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As initially stated, this is not an unusual effect. Neither is it rare, irreversible or will cause psychological conditions. It just means you are not just &quot;lying&quot; or &quot;tricking&quot; your kids, you are actually teaching them how to lie and trick. This maybe an unwanted effect, but needn't result into mental conditions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4104" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T13:44:03.967" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11050" CreationDate="2014-01-15T14:07:42.397" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't lie to my children out of principle, but I also think that lying to them will eventually teach them not to trust you (as much). As a parent, this is not a situation I want to be in. When I say, &quot;Don't come into the kitchen while I'm frying hamburgers, you could get hurt,&quot; I want the child to believe me. This is not a lesson that must be learned the hard way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child as having separation anxiety about a parent leaving the house, I suggest that the child has some (even temporary) needs that aren't being met with regards to the amount of time you spend with her. There are children who are naturally confident and self-reliant, but most aren't, so it's up to the parent to build the child's confidence that mom and dad will always come home eventually and spend time with her, because it's time with you that she really, really wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lying probably won't cause &lt;em&gt;psychological&lt;/em&gt; problems, but it may put a strain on your relationship with her, and whether a psych diagnoses her with an ailment or not, strained relationships with parents are a real source of problems for children, especially when they get older (10-12 and up, in American culture).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6514" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T14:07:42.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11050" CreationDate="2014-01-15T14:15:50.243" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents often try to keep their children from ever having to be uncomfortable.  It's a laudable goal, but not only is it unattainable, it often backfires to make it worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The least traumatic &lt;em&gt;in the long term&lt;/em&gt; way to leave the house is to have a going away ritual and a coming home ritual.  Say, &quot;I'm going to work,&quot; give them a hug, be happy, and leave quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; cry for a while, but it will become shorter and shorter, and eventually they won't cry at all and will look forward to the ritual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you try to sneak away, that teaches them their fears are founded, that going away &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a scary thing that even brave adults try to avoid.  She'll not only be traumatized when you leave for work, but when you go into another room, because she has no guarantee of how long you will be gone.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same goes when you prolong a goodbye ritual.  In trying to spare them some trauma, you inadvertently prolong it.  Most kids stop crying a minute or so after you leave.  The most sensitive might go for 10-15 minutes.  If you spend 10 minutes saying goodbye, usually that just means 10 extra minutes of crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T14:15:50.243" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11050" CreationDate="2014-01-15T15:28:50.063" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should explain things to your kids. The rule is that stop speaking as soon as they change the subject and follow their lead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;White lies will always come up now and again (eg. Father Christmas) but you should credit the children with more ability to understand than you appear to be giving them right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example:&#xA;I have a daughter, nearly three, who plays everything out. Whatever happens she will incorporate it into her narrative with her favourite doll. This could be about sleeping difficulties, missing her mother or me during the working day; or even working through the pain of seeing her brothers arguing with each other or us. A recent brief trip to the US for me produced a huge and repetitive narrative that we worked through patiently and thoroughly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children use their imagination constructively and as a means of integrating events and experiences from the world around them. Do not deny them this, be more honest with yourselves and them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally find short stories/picture books that relate to the situation you have and read them with the child. This will help the process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have staff.. if the maid is the de-facto childminder then you may as well work on making the ritual one of waving mum/dad goodbye. Then work through the resulting narrative later and with good humour, dramatise it for your toddler, they love allegory and a good laugh with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy the toddler time, it doesn't last long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6519" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T15:28:50.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T17:00:48.127" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get her out of the bad pre-school NOW! My grandson spent 3 years,(very part time) in a daycare -pre-school with bad supervision, bad, bad bad. He's been in a great pre school since September and the change has been amazing. He's confident. The bad language has almost&#xA;disappeared, he's a better boy all around. Beyond that, your daughter is aware of and reflecting the problems between you and your mom. Kids are like little wax plates, they pick up the impression of what's around them. If you don't feel like you can move out now, move your daughter out of her grandmother's bed and into a big girl bed. Take her out to the park and play with her. Establish a strong relationship with her away from your parents and their house. So much with kids is a matter of maturation. Your mother loves her and needs help to see how much your daughter needs a strong and healthy relationship with you to be and do well. It's hard working things out between the generations. As a very involved mother of 1 and grandmother of 2, I know. But she needs her mom to be her mom. Take a deep breath. Don't take the bait. Respect and love her and take a time out when you need one. Wishing you the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6523" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T17:00:48.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4059" CreationDate="2014-01-15T17:14:00.210" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;8 1/2 months is close to one of the &quot;wonder weeks&quot;, so it's not unlikely that something changed mentally.  It's possible the sensory feeling of the water is a problem for him; while my older son never hated baths, he was always the kid at daycare that hated playing with mud/snow/yogurt/jello with his hands, and never finger painted - he just didn't like the 'icky' feeling on his hands.  He might feel the same way about water; after all, being immersed in water is a lot of sensory information at once.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Showers as suggested elsewhere are a good idea, though that might be just as bad.  Wash cloth baths aren't a bad idea either, at least in the short term.  This is something that probably will go away over time, so I wouldn't worry too much about short-term fixes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also try other forms of water play.  My sons both really enjoy/ed playing with water in their high chair trays; just pour a cup of water in the tray and let him fool around in it, splashing and whatnot.  Might be a good way to get him used to water in a positive, safe environment - and then move to a water table or something else with more water in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T17:14:00.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11022" CreationDate="2014-01-15T17:34:34.537" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have same experience with my 3 year old girl. She woke up at night and cried after i twice left her for business trips over a month in length.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first thought was if she was sleep walking to check if I am going away again or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since she has been waking at night, after going on business trips, I sleep with her for a week, and when she wakes up at night, i hold her until she falls asleep. &#xA;After one week, it is back to normal, and she sleeps well until morning.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6461" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-01-15T18:08:43.927" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T18:08:43.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11022" CreationDate="2014-01-15T18:18:04.720" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;While it could be very bad dreams, in general, waking from dreams can be caused by almost anything that causes you to be more wakeful - any dream can be scary, as others have noted on other questions.  Some things to pay attention to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clothing and bedding.  Did anything change with the pajamas?  Did you change detergents or get a new kind of pajama that might cause it to be itchy?  Are the pajamas or blankets the wrong temperature for the house now?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Noises.  Is there something that happens at around the same time each night, like a dishwasher going on, or a garbage truck or airplane flying overhead that might wake her?  For my son, sometimes the furnace turns on and wakes him up, making him think a helicopter (his fear of choice) is near, for example.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Food.  Does this happen frequently after certain kinds of food are eaten, and/or food at certain times?  It could be acid reflux or gastrointestinal issues, or even just digestion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bedtime.  If she is overtired, she may not sleep as well, and wake up more easily from dreams.  Also, if she is not sleeping well over a longer period of time, this can occur (making it somewhat self-sustaining).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Screen time.  Is she watching TV or an iPad or similar shortly before bed?  Screens, particularly close up ones like tablets or phones, put out a lot of light that tells your brain it is daytime (both the kind of light they produce, and the quantity).  They also engage the brain heavily, in particular if it is something interactive.  Both can cause a child to have difficulty going to sleep, and/or cause issues once asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T18:18:04.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11074" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11169" CreationDate="2014-01-15T18:38:31.667" Score="3" ViewCount="518" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2.5 year old who is not much of a sleeper - as in, he sleeps on normal days from 10pm to 6am, plus a 2 hour nap on weekdays and sometimes on weekends.  We have a fairly good bedtime ritual, although the times aren't always exact (we have a 10 month old, and both work, so we can't be perfect with times unfortunately).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8:30 to 9: go upstairs, change diaper and into pajamas.  Take one or two toys - not much of a stuffed animal guy, more into trains/trucks/cars.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brush teeth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read 3-4 books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turn off lights&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turn on 'nightlight' (either a truck light or a turtle that shines on the ceiling)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sing songs for about 10 minutes ('wheels on the bus' type things, whatever he asks for)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sit quietly next to his bed in a rocking chair while he lies down and falls asleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This works well 95% of the time.  He might argue some, but usually goes to bed nicely.  However, occasionally (I think when he is either overtired or had a modification to his time schedule so that he's not tired yet) we have extremely difficult times getting him to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, he will do the usual yell/run around/jump around, and even get somewhat aggressive with us - biting, hitting, etc., which is very unusual for him.  We try to deal with this with standard &quot;strong willed child&quot; techniques, such as time out (which he normally does okay with now, even though he's a bit young for it), but they simply don't work - he is too excited and wound up to calm down enough to do a time out.  Sometimes giving him some lights-off play time works in this case, but usually it doesn't, because he's not capable of being calm enough for it to work - and it seems like it is rewarding him for bad behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that has worked before was locking him in a room (not his room, as that doesn't have a door currently, either the guest bedroom or a bathroom) until he calms down, but we're not sure that's a good idea from a mental point of view - and it tends to be destructive to the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for how we can either effectively enforce our limits here, or blow off the excess steam?  We can't usually tell ahead of time if it's going to be an issue, unfortunately; sometimes we can guess but then he goes to sleep perfectly - the line between 'exhausted' and 'overtired' is not always easy to spot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T22:03:44.643" Title="Strategies for difficult bedtime routine for young toddler" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11050" CreationDate="2014-01-15T18:50:24.723" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't make the mistake of confusing your child's comfort with your own.  You think you are trying to make your child feel better about you leaving, but really you're trying to make yourself feel better about leaving.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children go through multiple stages where they have separation anxiety; that's normal.  Addressing them properly helps their development; having a good routine, talking to them about the separation, reminding them that it will be temporary.  Children don't have a good understanding of temporary versus permanent until they are fairly old, so that's often the hardest part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not addressing the separation anxiety simply prolongs it.  Staying longer because they want you not to leave is counterproductive - it teaches them that if they cry, you won't go.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lying to them won't work very well over time, because you're just avoiding the separation anxiety, not addressing it.  It's like ignoring your creditor's phone calls - sure, you can avoid the difficult conversation about not paying your bills, but it doesn't make the bills go away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T18:50:24.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8215" CreationDate="2014-01-15T18:56:59.553" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For any sort of leaving, I find that timers are highly effective.  Whether an egg timer, or a timer on your smartphone or watch, having something that creates an audible sound after time is up is very effective for setting time-based boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, you might tell your son, &quot;Johnny, you have five more minutes until we have to go home.  I'm setting the timer for five minutes.&quot;  Then do so.  When it goes off, remind him that the timer has gone off, and tell him to start packing up immediately - and enforce it, with time outs or whatever your normal discipline is, strictly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This worked really well after the first couple of times with our 2.5 year old, and our daycare uses it with all ages and finds that it works wonders.  He now often moves directly to do whatever he's supposed to when the timer goes off without me saying a word, just from hearing the beep from my phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T18:56:59.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11074" CreationDate="2014-01-15T19:14:09.357" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Really feel for you, know exactly what that's like! Generally seen this to be short term if you can get an early handle on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 'locked room' method is absolutely ok - seriously, as long as he cant hurt himself, its fine. If at all possible try to remove the things that will get damaged or put them out of reach. He will soon understand that causing a fuss won't get him attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Might also suggest shortening or rearranging times to make it a more definite &quot;sleep time &lt;strong&gt;now&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; as it kinda sounds like a stop and start with the toys, reading and songs. Maybe read a couple books or sing songs before going upstairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a thought...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6529" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T19:14:09.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9033" CreationDate="2014-01-15T21:33:50.793" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a child (2nd-3rd grade), I had similar issues (was a huge procrastinator and would often avoid doing my homework however I could even though it was easy and could be done quickly).  The solution my parents came to was a reward program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, my parents printed off from the computer fake money (they called it &quot;Michael Dollars&quot; - as that's my name).  When I completed my homework, I was 'paid' a given amount of dollars.  The amount was based on how quickly I completed the work and how correctly I did it.  The faster and more correct, the more money.  I could then spend these on various rewards.  $20 let me choose dinner for the night, $50 let me go do some special activity that I enjoyed, $200 let me do a more expensive activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nice thing about this system is it has multiple positive effects.  It instilled a desire to do the work and do it right without having to be told.  At the same time, I learned to manage money (saving up for things I wanted, spending frugally, etc).  I also learned the actual value of money (you have to work to earn it) and so led to more responsibility with my money later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should point out that I was allowed to do the homework at the Kitchen table (my parents would be there doing their own thing) and could ask questions, get distracted etc.  But if I let myself get distracted for long, my parents would remind me that I would earn less 'money' and I'd get back on task.  I wasn't ever forced to do the work in a 'quiet' area - though I certainly could if I decided I couldn't focus (and sometimes I would ask to do it in a different room). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6535" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T21:33:50.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T21:54:45.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter doesn't see you as an authority figure.  You're not mom, you're like a big sister.  Your parents are the boss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you're staying with your parents because your financial situation doesnt allow you to do any better.  Screw the therapy.  Your parents are going to do what they're going to do because it's THEIR home.  You can't change that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You CAN go apply for some welfare and get out.  Or get some job training.  And I promise you, the longer you wait to get the heck out of there, the worse it will be for your relationship with your child.  It will become even worse when your child starts to get her own friends and maybe you approve of some but your parents disapprove (or vice versa).  Or you have rules for homework and your parents wish to do the opposite.  In short, the more structure that you try to place for raising your kids, the more opportunities there will be for your parents to try to do the opposite, just out of their own preference.  It will confuse the heck out of your child in the long run.  You will argue much.  And maybe, if you're not careful, your child won't respect YOU or THEM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 21 year old daughter is in this situation RIGHT NOW with a mother who never decided to leave the nest, and her big bad boss of a grandmother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep it movin'!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6536" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T21:54:45.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="176" CreationDate="2014-01-15T22:08:09.867" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another option is online communities. There are many parental/school-related local communities on FaceBook/G+ etc... (I know our locality - which is a small town - has a couple, &lt;strong&gt;some very specifically centered around specific shared-value communities&lt;/strong&gt;). You can try searching community names for &quot;locale+school&quot; or &quot;locale+parents&quot; or &quot;locale+families&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find out if such a community exists; if it does - talk to its members, may be even ask to join and read the posts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T22:08:09.867" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="176" CreationDate="2014-01-15T22:18:53.803" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possible consideration, to be used in combination with person-to-person investigation of course, are rating sites like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.greatschools.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;GreatSchools&lt;/a&gt;, which contains information about test scores for local schools as well as parent reviews.  Several real estate websites, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redfin.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Redfin&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.zillow.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Zillow&lt;/a&gt;,  will allow you to view Greatschools scores for local schools near any given house/condo, which made it much easier for us to feel comfortable when we bought our first home in the suburbs (of Chicago in my case).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-15T22:18:53.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T23:38:00.783" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I TOTALLY agree with&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She goes to my mom and dad if I yell at her or if I say &quot;No.&quot; Then&#xA;  I get in trouble. But that's not the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Actually, that is the point.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your parents may well be crippling you; get an independent 3rd party to come along (any wise person you can trust) to secretly observe the dynamic and confirm to you that you are indeed getting shafted. However, be prepared to hear that maybe you are screwing up! But even if so, it's your responsibility to make the rules and not anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remind your parents that you only learned your parenting skills from them. If you are a screw-up parent, then they are indicted too. Of course, this could end up as a fight that doesn't go anywhere...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do they feel guilty of being a bad parent to you, so now they are being totally sooky with your girl? Let them know it's ok for them to be tough with grand-daughter. Tell them you forgive them; they'd probably love to hear &quot;you were right after all&quot;. Anything to stop them feeling guilty and weak if that's the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, the goal is for you to get primary management of your child, and everyone else in her world must follow your lead. To win this one, you may have to be prepared to find your own place. In fact, start saving, and planning it in your head. Sooner or later, you have to leave home. Having a grand-daughter is a privilege, not a right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user6543" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T00:11:31.647" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T00:11:31.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-15T23:53:10.653" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that moving out isn't realistic (though that would be your best lever), nor is relying on the father of the child (You didn't mention, does he pay child support?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You need to have a long long talk with your father&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless your dad has an objective reason to be afraid (he's penniless and jobless and your mom would divorce him for speaking up; or he just cheated on her and afraid of divorce), he BETTER get his brain into the right place and stand up to her on this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show him this whole post and answers and comments, it may help him see the light. Bring HIM to therapy with you without your weird mother. &lt;strong&gt;Explain to him that you're in serious risk RIGHT NOW&lt;/strong&gt; (being a mom with depression isn't a safe thing, for a mother OR a child). Beg. Cajole. Praise. Remind him that you love him and need him as the only real parent you have. He needs to understand just how bad the situation is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has access to family money. He can threaten your mother that he will pay for your moving out. He can do a LOT of other things to help you gain leverage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, while it MAY be a bad idea, getting into serious confrontation with your mother may be an option. ONLY if you are 100% sure that she really - underneath that whole thing - ultimately truly cares about your and your daughter's wellbeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Flat out tell her: you can't afford good place to live. But if she doesn't stop, you WILL leave the house, and if need be live in dangerous projects or on the street. If need be you will take up dangerous sources of income. She needs to choose whether she wants that as opposed to backing off. Of course, as with any blackmail, you have to be prepared to call her bluff if she does bluff. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a separate note, find a friend. Someone you can talk to. Online. Better yet, realtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;May be someone with a small kid, ideally, so you can visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T00:02:04.450" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T00:02:04.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-16T00:34:34.293" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Small piece of practical advice - fix the heater in your room if it's stopping your daughter sleeping in there with you.  If it's a central heating system, you probably just need to bleed the radiator or get rid of an airlock by turning all other radiators off, then turning the boiler and room thermostats on full blast to vent it out of the system.  Whatever the type of heater, there's a solution anyway because they are not supposed to make moose-like noises. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, rather than thinking of massive changes you could give your room a new look.  It might sound silly, but little positive changes add up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, on the note of adding up... think about a cheaper car/cell phone plan/computer etc.  Perhaps negotiate a drop in rent with your Dad on the basis that you'll save it up.  Maybe do a few extra hours to get money in the kitty too.  You might find that when you have the money saved up to move out, the sense of freedom that possibility affords you will be enough to allow you find enough positives in your current situation that you can focus on moving forward in other ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6541" LastEditorUserId="6541" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T03:03:36.237" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T03:03:36.237" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-16T01:11:38.150" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You come across as someone who is trying very much to do your best. You have the instincts of a good parent, I think. I suspect that your fears about your relationship with your daughter will subside once you are both able to move away from the difficult situation you find yourself in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until you are able to move out, however, you need coping strategies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Others have written good advice:&#xA;- Your daughter's pushing the boundaries is normal,&#xA;- Plan time with just your daughter and you, away from the home environment,&#xA;- Don't sweat the small stuff, focus on behavour and not attitude,&#xA;- Unless your daughter is losing weight or nobviously not growing properly don't get too stressed about her diet. I have a friend whose 13 yo daughter eats mostly white bread, chicken, pasta and supplements: she's approaching 5ft 10&quot; and has already got a fine figure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also want to add:&#xA;- Use positive re-enforcement (praise) as much or more than negative,&#xA;- Pick your battles and work on your daughter's most important behaviours first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone mentioned reframing. You can use re-framing strategies with your daughter too, in the context of the behaviours you find really difficult. When she does something good, praise her, and when she does something you find challenging, make it your first response to say what she actually did that was a problem (avoid making an issue of her attitude) - explain how it makes you feel and why her behaviour is not appropriate - this before you escalate to time-outs or the naughty step etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect you could usefully do with some space and time of your own. You need to look after yourself (put on your own oxygen mask first, someone said) because otherwise you will become totally drained. Make sure you eat, excercise and sleep as well as you possibly can, and seek sources of emotional support outside your home - whether this be friends (true friends would never seriously describe your daughter as a 'cock block' - this may be one of those times in life you find out who your true friends really are) other relatives, or someone else you can open up to such as a pastor, or councillor - but first make sure they will listen to you without judgement and not preach to you. Here in the UK we have an organisation called the Samaritans - you can phone them for free and they will listen to you and use questioning skills to help you draw out your own answers. Even if there is no-one local do you have frinds who live away you could skype? I would also suggest learning how to meditate - whatever faith or otherwise you have. It's very useful for de-stressing and letting both your real feelings and fresh insights come to the surface. I'm agnostic and I find meditation very useful. If you are a Christian and thus inclined to dismiss meditation, be assured that there is a Christian tradition (see The Cloud of Unknowing and The Practise of the Presence of God). In the context of your situation, meditation has practical value - you need to find some strength, some objectivity and some clarity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are three key relationships here: you and your daughter, you and your mother and your mother and your daughter. You can only affect the third relationship if you first sort out the two relationships involving you. From what you describe, your mother is very much the dominant figure in your household and it seems to me that it is your relationship with her that needs the most work. If your relationship with your Mom was a good one, I suspect the other issues would get fixed, so here is where you need to put in most work. Now, you are only responsible for 50% of this relationship, so you can't solve it on your own - you can only be consistent. The person who wrote about the way you frame potentially confrontational conversations with your Mom gave good advice. Say what you need to say, but do it in a way that seeks to turn down the emotional temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to take some time to work out your relationship with your mom. Do you really hate her? (ignore the 'relationship police' that say that you shouldn't btw - your feelings are not 'wrong': it is only how we behave that our peers can judge us by, not how we feel). If you hate her, do you love her at the same time? Do you understand what leads her to treat you the way she does? Can you empathise with her at all? Sometimes I find understanding another persons' journey / motivation helps me in managing my own emotional response when in conflict with them. In any case this reflection may help you deal more constructively with your Mom and may create the situation where you can get you own perspective across without incurring her anger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems you may have a potential ally with your Dad - have you tried to have a private conversation with him about the two situations - you and your Mom and you and your daughter - I would start by asking him how he feels - try and get his perspective, then you can get yours across. You may need to do more listening than talking. You might find he's willing to co-operate once he understands your perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realise that the above advice is easy to give, but difficult to live out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final question - is your daughter's father around at all? I'm assuming not since you haven't mentioned him. He should bear some financial responsibility for her upbringing, if nothing else...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do hope you break through and can change your situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my very best wishes...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6545" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T01:11:38.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="176" CreationDate="2014-01-16T05:12:07.107" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are considering moving you may want to talk to a real estate agent.  A good real estate agent should be able to tell you which town is best for what you want and which area of town and maybe even which school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6365" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T05:12:07.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-16T05:56:16.463" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thanks for sharing, it shows great courage, and it is always conforting for me to see I am not the only one having such a hard time with my girls.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I am going a bit in reverse here, but if your kid is fine when you are not around, then you're doing a fine job as a mother.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;As you are describing things, you are the only one setting the rules, and when you are not around she sticks to them. Congratulations ! She knows you are the one in charge.&#xA;One can always expect to have their children behave more poorly when they are around. At least that's what we say from where I'm from.&#xA;That poorly may not be common, but you are not in a common situation either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I quote &quot;but I wish we could grow up as &lt;strong&gt;sisters&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot; &#xA;As for me, I am the mother and the mom. However, I am not the sister. Maybe we can be friends when they grow up.&#xA;I do have my issues with my parents, and I still unsuccessfully try to teach them I am an adult and that my girls are my kids and not my sisters and that I do not want them to redeem the terrible education I had on them. &#xA;Maybe you can see some common grounds here. I've spent some years in therapy, and for me, it is rather important that generations stick to their role (which can change depending on your culture...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the diet, what she eats seems actually pretty healthy. I mean, all by herself she is not eating only the candies, chocolates, gums.... I am sure your mother would generously provide. Good job on your part !&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you well.&#xA;My 5 year old steak-and-pasta-calamity is now slowly transitioning into a child. The Kindergarten effect ? I hope it will turn out the same for you.&#xA;And I will laugh very loud when she turns vegetarian at 15.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take care&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6551" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T05:56:16.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11089" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11091" CreationDate="2014-01-16T06:44:24.757" Score="11" ViewCount="373" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are so many kinds out there.  What is the most important thing to consider?&#xA;That it would be easy to close it or that the child will be facing toward you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6553" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T17:48:40.397" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T09:01:29.520" Title="How to decide which stroller to buy?" Tags="|stroller|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11017" CreationDate="2014-01-16T07:23:12.743" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The assumption regarding water as the solution may or may not be correct.  You asked for references and I'd like to suggest 2: 1) Your doctor -- s/he is best suited to evaluate the entirety of your child's health, and 2) Your doctor ( if you read this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/baby-constipation&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WebMD Link&lt;/a&gt;, you'll see that some things are natural and others may need treatment -- who's best to decide?  &lt;strong&gt;Your doctor&lt;/strong&gt; .)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply put, the human body is so complex that not even doctors fully understand it... but their training makes them best-suited to assist us.  Listing a few characteristics on a forum about your child's diet is by no means sufficient information for us non-MD people to begin to competently comment, no matter how desperately we want to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope your child is well and if sick, heals quickly!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T07:23:12.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11089" CreationDate="2014-01-16T07:56:09.113" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bet there are books on &quot;how to choose a stroller&quot;;) A short list of important things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;size and type of wheels - a stroller with bike-like large wheels will handle better than a stroller with small plastic wheels. It will also behave better in difficult terrain. Also, the inner tube should be replaceable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;brake - it should have one. It should be impossible to move the stroller with the brake on. Are they easy to operate?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stability/construction - try to shake the stroller when the brakes are on. It should tilt only slightly to the sides and hardly to front and back&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;modularity - some strollers can be interchanged with car seats or prams. &lt;em&gt;Travel Systems&lt;/em&gt; are quite handy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;weight - if you have to go to places not adapted for strollers or disabled people, the weight will be an issue&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;space it takes - can the stroller be easily disassembled (folded? sorry, struggling with English here) for transport?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;rocking - some strollers allow for some degree of rocking in vertical direction - it can be useful. It'd be good if such rocking can be easily enabled or disable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, I would suggest choosing the stroller in two pahases. First, go to the shop and find those you (and your partner) find acceptable. Then come with your baby and let it have some influence on your decision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And lastly: take it for a test drive:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T07:56:09.113" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11089" CreationDate="2014-01-16T08:00:30.493" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on your usage.  When my child was born, I didn't have a car and was going to college, so something sturdy that collapsed to being small and had a detachable section so that I could put her in a friend's car was important.  For going around to class, I had a sling I held around me that kept her close to me and allowed me to sit in a desk.  Also, because I would spend hours out and about with her in it, it needed to have plenty of storage space for her diapers, change of clothes (never know when something will happen), and other sundries (like a small med kit -- I'm a bit obsessive about planning for everything [though I didn't plan for her throwing up on me twice on the bus on one trip home!]).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, ask yourself, what is &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; usage?  Make a detailed list and search online for various strollers so that you can find one that meets your needs... then research complaints from owners by searching for &quot;review stroller_name&quot; or &quot;complaint stroller_name&quot;.  Finally, go to the store and check it out yourself.  You'll be well-armed to make a good decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, don't settle for price over quality -- they're not one and the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T08:00:30.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11093" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11099" CreationDate="2014-01-16T11:39:01.713" Score="10" ViewCount="455" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, I'm struggling to read to the little'un. She &lt;em&gt;loves&lt;/em&gt; books, in that throughout the day she will go and fetch books, and sit with them and turn the pages. The book might be upside down, but hey. Big colourful books with pictures in, great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when I read to her&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) If I read her a picture book with her sitting on my knee sort of thing, she is desperate to turn the pages before I get to the end of the page. Even if its just 4 lines of text.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Should I be pointing at the words (I try) as I say them, or isn't this helpful. I try when I get to the end to point out other things in the pictures, and play the 'can you point at the owl' type thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) I (and she) often get exasperated after a book of this, and then read to her from another book, like a proper story book (we're reading prince Caspian. It isn't age appropriate, and its being heavily edited by me as we go, and all the dwarfs come out with west-country-accents). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I doing this right? She's only little (21 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6558" LastActivityDate="2021-01-20T20:21:02.587" Title="Toddler and Reading" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|reading|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-16T11:44:43.053" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a four year old daughter (4 and 1/4), and I am separated from her mother. I have my daughter almost 50%.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The behaviour you describe sounds like normal pre-schooler behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing to keep in mind is, she doesn't realise they anxiety she is causing you, she's an innocent little thing... to her it's just play. There's no malice in what she is doing. It will be not until much later that she will be able to develop proper adult empathy. She is incapable of intending to harm you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has tantrums not infrequently... especially when she has been come from her mother's place to stay with me. Her mother is much stricter with her and controlling. When my daughter first arrives at my place, it is like she has forgotten how to relate to me... she will act out and push the boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the way I respond is an attitude of &quot;I don't care if you cry and carry on. It's bad for you if you do that, but it's not bad for me.&quot; But all the while I smile and talk in a calm voice. I am careful not to withhold love just because of my child's behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often, behind the tantrum, there is something reasonable that she wants, something that is reasonable for her to ask of me. And she is frustrated because she believes herself to be reasonable, a good girl, and finds that I am simply refusing to understand her. You must understand that this is frustrating for children. I try to represent to my child that I'm willing to cooperate and find a good solution... I'm willing to listen, but she has to help herself by calming down. &quot;Listen to my voice... my voice is calm...&quot; Sometimes they perceive that you are simply trying to control them for the sake of it... they resent that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Four years old is a really interesting time... they are really developing their personality.... it's good to give them the sense that whatever they do, they will be loved. This does not mean that they get whatever they want. But often, what they want is not what they say they want.... and if you guide them towards what they really want they will appreciate it. It's good to show your own positive personality, it really helps them when you show that you'll stay positive and loving even difficult things are happening. Show her how you can assert yourself in a positive way. In one sense, she is play fighting. This is how you teach your child positive self assertion... by play fighting in a positive way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your parents... yes, you need to move out. The fact is, you are living in their house on their terms. You can't control what they say and do... From their point of view, having you live there with your child somewhat obligates them to be involved. It really is impossible for you to live there and not have them being involved as they are. Of course, stay on good terms with them and visit them often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of feeling angry all the time. I would suggest that nothing can make you angry. It is only your perception of the situation that frustrates you. You are old enough now to observe your own thoughts and to adjust them... change your attitude to suit how you want to feel. When someone is in a good mood, tickling will inspire laughter, but if they are in a bad mood, tickling will cause them to guard their body.... this is how a person's frame of mind affect the perception of a situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have developed a habit of feeling angry and frustrated, understand that it will take you a long time to change your habit. Perhaps not long time, but it certainly won't be instantaneous. Don't spend your whole life being angry! It's worth developing the habit of seeing the positive side of things... you will begin to see opportunities everywhere!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by being kind to yourself as a parent. You've done an amazing job, becoming a mother at 16 is extremely hard. You graduated with honours, that's an achievement. If you get angry at your child or feel like you can't cope, don't be hard on yourself. Be patient with yourself, congratulate yourself on your efforts thus far. Understand that each passing moment is only temporary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't feel angry if others are spoiling your child. Instead be happy. If people are spoiling her, that's bad for them. Trust in the power of your own positive attitude. You will begin to see the small steps of improvement that you can take. Do not concern yourself with things that you cannot change, be happy to change what you can. Believe in yourself... look after yourself and be the person who you really are. You won't be like anyone else, but that's ok. By giving all of yourself, it will make you the ideal mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soon your child will be in school. Make the most of the next year, enjoy the pleasure of being a mother... sometimes it feels like hell, but those are just feelings!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6559" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T11:44:43.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11095" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11097" CreationDate="2014-01-16T11:50:14.173" Score="2" ViewCount="115" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is a question about 'how does this work'. We live in Norfolk, UK, and my toddler is coming up to 2. We understand that she should start attending some kind of nursery / preschool thing. But it seems that the preschools lead into primary schools - is this normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do we get a choice on what primary school she goes to, or is that already decided? Someone told us we should be looking to get on a list? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a little concerned about the little'uns social skill development. She goes to a couple of things, but doesn't really get much time to interact with other toddlers, and spends the rest of the day running round the house causing chaos. She seems to be a bright young thing, but doesn't talk really, just ... chaos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6558" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-20T12:12:05.713" LastActivityDate="2019-09-20T16:12:57.983" Title="Nursery &amp; Preschool and Schools" Tags="|toddler|school|daycare|united-kingdom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11089" CreationDate="2014-01-16T11:57:28.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to say, this caused me a near nervous breakdown because there is just so much choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I looked at the practical element, and really struggled because it was nearly impossible to compare, but the key things for us were (in this order):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) how easy was it to put up or down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Would it fit into the boot of the car (and/or would there be space for shopping if it did)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) How heavy was it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Storage &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HEavyness isn't always a bad thing, a bit of weight gives stability, but too heavy was a no-no, and storage isn't the everything because you can always carry a bag - you did before you had kids right? So for us, the ability to manuver it around when the kid wasn't in it was quite key. Imagine trying to get in or off a bus or in a carpark with the little one screaming. If it took more then 1 minute to collapse, that's a no no. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, we bought a pram for the first year and a half, and swapped to a stroller, after that: for the pram we bought a moderately expensive one, to give protection when she was so small, but for the stroller we opted for a quite cheap, lightweight one that collapses really well. Its easy to push around when collapsed, so we can go into town and she can run but I have this for when she gets tired and we havn't finished shopping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is a perfect 'this stroller is the one everyone should buy', you've got to work out your priorities. You can rule off a bunch of strollers quickly, and narrow it down. Just don't do what I did and have a nervous breakdown over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6558" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T11:57:28.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11095" CreationDate="2014-01-16T12:36:02.923" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no requirement to send your child to pre-school, that's a choice that's left up to you.  Obviously, there are pros and cons for whether or not you send them, which can be discussed elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for picking schools... you supply a list of three preferences to your local authority the year before your child is due to start school.  Then, based on a series of criteria, your child will be allocated to a school.  If you're not happy with the options provided, you can appeal and try to get the local authority to make an amendment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the broad overview but there's a lot of devil in the detail.  Each local authority has its own rules and guidelines that you should be aware of before starting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Norfolk schools admission guidelines for reception places are here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.norfolk.gov.uk/view/NCC112259&quot;&gt;http://www.norfolk.gov.uk/view/NCC112259&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;.. and it quotes: Distance, Siblings, Special Needs and Feeder Schools as defining factors, before your child hits the &quot;Random Allocation&quot; phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T12:36:02.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11093" CreationDate="2014-01-16T12:44:23.267" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's obviously interested enough in the picture books to want to know what happens next. Don't point at the words (she's too young to understand what those squiggly marks are), but talk to her about the pictures as you read. Make it fun - don't necessarily stick to the text!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely don't try to read anything with no pictures at this stage. When she's old enough to be interested in the story rather than just the pictures, you can start reading longer books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3443" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T12:44:23.267" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11093" CreationDate="2014-01-16T12:47:19.870" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, you need to relax.  Honestly, you're worrying far too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've accomplished your first task, which is to get her interested in books.  It's now just a case of building up her familiarity with the concept of &quot;squiggles = sounds&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would definitely point at the words as you read them to emphasise that &quot;This squiggle means this object&quot;.  It'll not be a quick process but it will work in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now, if she's not interested in the stories (and I'm not surprised, given her age) focus on simple picture books, where you can look at things one page at a time.  I've found that picture books that have lots of images on a single page, such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/Animal-My-First-Board-Book/dp/1405359412&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.co.uk/Animal-My-First-Board-Book/dp/1405359412&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;.. were very helpful.  There's a lot to look at and talk about but if the child wants to skip backwards and forwards, they can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't panic!  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastEditorUserId="3443" LastEditDate="2014-01-17T13:04:25.433" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T13:04:25.433" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10879" CreationDate="2014-01-16T14:33:33.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids have this great intuition for finding their parents’ exposed nerves and deliberately prodding them.  If a child is chronically telling parents “you’re mean” I would take that as a sign that he or she has learned that it’s an easy way to get an emotional reaction from them, even if it’s an angry one.  (“I can’t get the second scoop of ice cream that I want and deserve, but at least I can feel powerful by pissing off this person who is twice my size.”)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My preferred response to this kind of taunt is to calmly say “Yes, when you grow up, you can tell your therapist all about what awful parents you had” and then move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6471" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T14:33:33.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11093" CreationDate="2014-01-16T15:16:56.063" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's not dissimilar to my now 30 month old when he was around 18 months.  I definitely recommend picture-only books for that age almost exclusively; ie, the books that have a page with all the different fruits, and the next page is the different colors, the next page is different clothing items, etc.  That would tend to catch his interest, because I could turn it into a 'find' game (ie, &quot;Where's the banana?&quot;  &quot;I see a yellow fruit&quot; etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The interaction with you, really, is what she craves at this age; hence whatever you can do to make it more interactive will keep her attention longer. Right now, turning the page very interactive, so that's what she enjoys.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of longer story reading, I made the same mistake.  I tried to read a chapter book to him around a year old or so.  That didn't work at all, for numerous reasons - but at the end of the day, the main reason is that kids can't process complex narratives at that age.  Their minds are still forming and they're still learning not only how to imagine, but learning social concepts that are automatic to us and are built into books.  So I guess, if it's working for you, keep doing it (she probably enjoys hearing your voice and getting your attention), but I wouldn't worry about it for a year or two if not; like me, you undoubtedly have fond memories of your mother/father reading to you as a kid - but I doubt it was at 2 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T15:16:56.063" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11017" CreationDate="2014-01-16T15:34:12.383" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;After agreeing with 'ask the doctor', I'd also suggest perhaps stopping the rice+formula and seeing if that fixes things.  Adding cereal to formula is almost entirely pointless; if you're trying to get into solid foods, go another route - 6 months for most babies is old enough to eat regular food (ie, carrots or whatnot).  The rice cereal in the bottle (I assume that's how you're giving it given the description) may be interfering with her eating her formula, and thus getting properly hydrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The old recommendations to start off with cereal in the bottles are very outdated, and even the recommendations to start with cereal at all are largely outdated - our pediatrician for both of ours recommended starting with vegetables, not cereal, and strongly discouraged cereal in bottles (we were breastfeeding, so it's a bit different, but not that much).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T15:34:12.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11103" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11117" CreationDate="2014-01-16T17:47:45.730" Score="8" ViewCount="7818" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a medically recommended age when it's safe for a child to start hitting a punching bag (in terms of avoiding damage to his hands)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I'm looking for something backed up by medical research, not just opinion.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are interested to try, but I am wary about damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T18:55:27.613" LastActivityDate="2022-12-09T09:09:46.283" Title="When is it safe for a child to start boxing against a bag?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11089" CreationDate="2014-01-16T17:55:33.937" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You almost certainly will need more than one stroller.  Don't try to get just one that is perfect; consider getting two imperfect ones that complement each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, portability is important; but you can get an umbrella stroller (a super-lightweight one that cost around $20-$30) for the times when you get on the bus or train and want very little space, and then buy a larger stroller that isn't as portable but has better features (big wheels, cup holders, etc.) for times when you don't need the portability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T17:55:33.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11105" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11124" CreationDate="2014-01-16T18:33:25.973" Score="5" ViewCount="2751" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have short stairs in the house, between ground floor (where the kitchen and kid's game room are) and 2d floor (where their bedrooms/bathroom is).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For safety reasons, they aren't allowed to run up/down stairs because their preferred shoes make it too easy to trip on the stairs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kids are perfectly well aware of the rules (they are 6/7 YO) and generally follow them well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when they play together downstairs and get rambunctious, they get into the &quot;run around mindlessly&quot; mode; and if they need to get upstairs, they run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there some good approaches for fixing this issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that standard approaches don't work at all (carrots don't help - they know perfectly well what the rules are on rational level, just forget them when being boisterous; sticks don't help either - for example not permitting to play downstairs after runnnig up the stairs).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T16:46:13.847" Title="How do I make sure kids don't run on the stairs?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7537" CreationDate="2014-01-16T18:34:44.363" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of mine were born with tongue-ties, neither severe but in the smaller/earlier born one enough to interfere with nursing.  Both had them cut within a week or two of birth, with very little pain or bleeding.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what the second surgeon explained (the second was a bit less severe so we had more conversation about whether to do it or not), tongue tie is something that in an infant is very easy to correct (scissors) but as they age, more blood vessels form which mean it is harder to do and requires general anesthesia eventually.  You'd want to talk to the doctor about specifically where in this range a 22 month old fell; there are very different risks between the former and the latter process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T18:34:44.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-16T18:35:31.653" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;All of the above are good answers and have a lot of helpful suggestions.  Just wanted to mention one thing that often gets neglected by parents (I forgot about it until I mentioned your story to my wife):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children often act up in order to get time and attention from their parents.  If a child feels he/she is not getting enough &quot;good&quot; attention, they will settle for &quot;bad&quot; attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying this is your case, but it is possible that your child doesn't feel like she's getting enough time with you.  This could be the case if you're working a lot or simply are too distracted with other big issues (easily understandable in your situation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The TV &quot;Super Nanny&quot; often mentioned this, with her suggestion being to &quot;schedule&quot; an amount of guaranteed &quot;you and her only&quot; time with your child.  Simply spending more time overall might help, but she suggested telling your child, &quot;Every day at X o'clock will be an hour for only you and me, no one else.&quot; and of course following through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this is your situation or if it will help, but putting it out there just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you're doing the best you can with a bad situation.  Do hang in there, get help where you can, keep working hard and don't get discouraged.   As mentioned by the other folks above, 3 is a tough age and it does get easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6544" LastEditorUserId="6544" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T17:57:46.947" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T17:57:46.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11105" CreationDate="2014-01-16T18:40:01.657" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it's primarily going up that they're at risk, and your stairs are 'short' as you describe, I'd just let them fall and learn the hard way.  Falling up the stairs isn't very dangerous in a child; it hurts, but it doesn't usually do any permanent damage from what I've read (too short to get concussions easily from the fall) and falling 'up' is even safer from the permanent point of view since you're going a shorter distance and can usually catch yourself.  They might eventually break a wrist or somesuch, but if they're that boisterous they probably will at some point anyway - that's part of growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T18:40:01.657" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10895" CreationDate="2014-01-16T19:32:43.773" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little girl had some hard times from 0 to 3 months. After 3 months and few days, it disappeared. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There weren't much we could do to really stop it. We did some things to help, but somedays she would cry for one whole hour. The things that worked best were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a warmed-up towel, etc, over her stomach&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;doing some massage by    stretching her legs, then pulling it back over her stomach (slowly,   of course)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;giving her a little bit more breastmilk (more times each    day, smaller quantities each time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;giving her a warm hug and walking,    slowly, across the house, while speaking very low and very near her head, with a more grave voice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;give her some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mylicon.com/&quot;&gt;Simethicone - Mylicon or similar - &lt;/a&gt; drops, after authorized by our doctor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, specially, keeping calm. Hear her crying kind of urged us to do something, but as time passed by we learnt that it was something natural to her, so all we could do was comfort her. And wait for the magical 3 months, more or less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorUserId="2679" LastEditDate="2014-01-16T19:59:59.427" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T19:59:59.427" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11105" CreationDate="2014-01-16T19:38:43.397" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the key is to put some obstacle that will require them to get out of the  &quot;run around mindlessly&quot; mode. For example, put some kind of gate in front of the stairs, the will close by itself, and only will open if some &lt;em&gt;complex&lt;/em&gt; action is performed, like turning some digits to the correct position, or entering the correct sum... (no that I've seen any of this to sell before, it would be more like something you would need to do yourself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way there would be something to interrupt the mind state, and it would be a bit easier to remember to go upstairs more slowly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T19:38:43.397" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10895" CreationDate="2014-01-16T21:43:19.293" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two both had intermittent gas pains for the first three months or so, but worst was the first 6 weeks - from 6 to 12 weeks it wasn't nearly as bad, and after 16 it was fairly rare as we started solids around that time (had a brief bad period right after the first solids, and then no real problems after that).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It definitely depends on breastfed versus formula babies; the former have more constipation, the latter have more trouble with air-induced gas from bottles, from what I've seen from other parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T21:43:19.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10994" CreationDate="2014-01-16T22:34:31.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Solution 1: Solve the problem a completely different way&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps &lt;strong&gt;another hairstyle&lt;/strong&gt; might effectively keep the hair out of her eyes without the hairband headaches. I would suggest a &lt;strong&gt;headband&lt;/strong&gt; would be an easier way to keep the hair out of her eyes. Headbands can either be a flexible hard band that just goes over the top of their head, which is very easy to put on her, or a continuous elastic band that goes all the way around the head. While both styles are effective, a wide elastic headband keeps hair out of the eyes slightly better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/QRHRw.png&quot; alt=&quot;headband&quot;&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Q0jRx.png&quot; alt=&quot;headband&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Solution 2: Practice &amp;amp; Technique&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or you could practice with the hairbands more and it may become easier over time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pick the right elastic&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Hair elastics come in several sizes. Here is a picture of a few of the most common sizes available:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/b5u03.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&#xA;Often, elastics sold for kids are similar in size to the smaller black one in this picture, and while they look nice in thin/fine hair like children often have, they are more difficult to work with than a larger elastic with a thicker cord (eg: the one on the right in the picture). The thicker elastic has a wider rubber band in it, meaning it will compress more on it's own and require less twists than a similar band of thinner cord and be easier for larger fingers to handle. If you don't have the larger broader hair-elastics, you may wish to get a small package of them to see if they are easier for your large fingers to handle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as putting the elastic band on the hair, put it over the thumb and index fingers of your non-dominant hand and push it all the way down toward your palm. Use your dominant hand to brush, and then make a fist with your non-dominant hand around the hair. At this point, you should be able to use your dominant hand to pull one side of the elastic over the hair. I would suggest using the pointer and middle fingers for this, with the palm of your hand facing down, and your fingers curled around the elastic at the top knuckle. Then you can rotate your dominant arm so your palm faces up, causing the hairband to twist into a figure eight. Then take the thumb on the same hand and add it to the other fingers inside the hairband, and use the remaining fingers to make a fist around the hair and repeat in the opposite direction until the hairband is sufficiently tight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastEditorUserId="1387" LastEditDate="2014-01-17T03:58:06.477" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T03:58:06.477" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8629" CreationDate="2014-01-16T22:36:08.433" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids at three like to feel they have some control even though they really aren't ready for a lot of control yet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I suggest having a schedule or routine everyday that is predictable and even posted for your child (using pictures).  Having it be predictable for your child when getting dressed will be required actually helps him feel &quot;in control.&quot;  If he needs a reason for getting dressed, have an &quot;outside time&quot; set sometime mid-morning (before you would normally go out) that he must get dressed for and then keep him dressed from that point on in the day.  Perhaps you just go for a quick 5-10 minute walk, maybe you kick a ball around the yard, but going outside is a reason to get dressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, use warnings - i.e. Getting dressed time is in 10 minutes.  Now there are only five minutes to dressing.  In two minutes you need to get dressed, I'm going to set the time for you and when the buzzer dings it is time! . . . Knowing it is coming helps him transition from his favorite nakedness to his less favorite, wearing of clothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, if you don't already, allow him some choice in what he has to wear.  At this age giving him all the choice will just be overwhelming and work against you, but if you set out two shirts and ask, &quot;which one do you want to wear.&quot;  You are offering him a sense of control even while he really has no say in anything important about what he is wearing, when etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, make a game of it.  &quot;(child's name),&quot; put the pants on your head like a hat, &quot;Is this how you wear pants?&quot; . . . &quot;no?  Oh well, show me wear they go.&quot;  You can also put socks on your ears, start to encourage him to put a foot in a sleeve. . . You get the idea.  Laughter often gets them going. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T22:36:08.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11105" CreationDate="2014-01-16T23:16:46.990" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think the problem is the stairs. I think the problem is the uncontrollable rambunctiousness. Sure, falling on (up or down) the stairs is a concern, but they're certainly of the age where they are both willing and able to be safe on them. The fact that they're disregarding their safety when they get all riled up isn't limited to the stairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're forgetting their safety about the stairs, they're forgetting their safety about their toys, their aggression, etc. They're also probably forgetting things like their manners, their respect for property, resource consumption, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we know exactly why they get all riled up: they're 6 and 7. This isn't going to exactly change, and I'm not suggesting you cut off their supply of fun. But I would focus less on the stairs and more on their ability to recognize when they have &quot;turned their safety switch off&quot; and get them to come back down to Earth on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds small, but this is the exact same kind of behavior that leads to gaming addiction in teens, excessive partying in university, and poor financial planning in adulthood. (Yes, I specifically separate university from adulthood!) This isn't to say that kids playing in a basement at 6 will turn them into alcoholics at 22, but it is saying that the habit of being so wrapped up in their entertainment that they forget the rules by which they live and operate is a bad habit to have, and a hard habit to break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2014-01-16T23:16:46.990" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-17T00:21:13.143" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe stop defying your parents and your child will stop following your actions. Children develop on what they see happening around them. If you are defying your parents and fighting in front of your child then this behaviour can be expected. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you treat your mother is exactly how your child will learn to treat you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6565" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T00:21:13.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11103" CreationDate="2014-01-17T04:21:19.163" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110302101746.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Science Daily&lt;/a&gt;, March 2011 regarding a study done by The Center for Injury Research:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;During the 19-year study period, an average of 8,700 boxing injuries&#xA;  were treated in United States emergency departments each year, and&#xA;  approximately 2,500 of those injuries were to children and adolescents&#xA;  6 to 17 years of age. The number of boxing injuries each year&#xA;  increased 211 percent during the study, climbing from 5,361 injuries&#xA;  in 1990 to nearly 17,000 injuries in 2008.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most frequent injury was a fracture (28%) and the most common injury site was the hand (33%). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Injuries from boxing bags apparently happen when the bag is too heavy (there are child-size bags, but they are still about 35-40 lbs, so your child should weigh at least twice that as a beginner), when the boxer has bad technique (the bag swings instead of &quot;pops&quot; because the boxer is pushing instead of jabbing), when the wrist isn't kept straight, when balance is off, when hands are not wrapped and gloved... There are reports of hand, wrist, elbow, and shoulder injuries as well as injuries from being batted by the bag as it swings. Bottom line, this probably should not be attempted without proper training. I have found gyms that will start training as young as 8, but they generally suggest that children younger start with a different type of martial art in order to develop some punching skills before hitting a bag (or person).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T04:21:19.163" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11105" CreationDate="2014-01-17T05:22:51.070" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why don't you try putting a gate across the stairs when they're playing. Make it compulsory that before they start the gate is closed and at other times it can be open.&#xA;This will make it harder for them to run up or down or at least slow them down if they try.&#xA;Eventually it'll get ingrained not run up the stairs and you wont need the gate anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T05:22:51.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11093" CreationDate="2014-01-17T05:28:54.280" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why don't you try ABC books or charts. &#xA;Since shes good with pictures she might like to say 'A for Apple', 'B for ..' gradually getting to the end of the page.&#xA;Shes probably not interested in the words because she cant make anything of them yet. They don't make sense to her but the pictures do hence her interest lies there.&#xA;Also identifying the letters correctly might get her a head start on reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T05:28:54.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7638" CreationDate="2014-01-17T06:42:14.730" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter's 4 and we've been using &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.allinonehomeschool.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;easy peasy&lt;/a&gt;.  It's not secular but it's easy to change for my purposes and it's free.  Other than reading to her, playing games, and answering questions we didn't do anything until 3.  Then she started piano. A little later she started practising her letters.  Now we're doing sight reading words and she's learning to sound them out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also like to add a tip... we shop at thift stores and consignment sales and have been accumulating materials, work books, art supplies, etc at discount prices since before she was born.  It distributes the expenses over more time and reduces the cost of the materials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6570" LastEditorUserId="6570" LastEditDate="2014-01-17T18:46:51.920" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T18:46:51.920" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-17T08:05:32.157" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have read a lot of the replies, and I haven't seen anyone be in a similar situation with the parents.  I hopefully will be able to shed some light on that part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very long story as short as I can make it: Before we met, my wife had always lived with her parents due to her parents health issues.  We moved back in with them in April 2008 due to my mother-in-laws declining health so we could help with the daily home healthcare / primary caregiver regiment (I was 39 at the time, my wife was 34 at the time).  We were blessed with our daughter being born in December 2009 (both families have a history of fertility issues, so we thought we wouldn't be able to have children).  My mother-in-laws health continued to decline until her passing in August 2011, at which time my father-in-law moved out of state (to get away from the memories).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The living situation with our in-laws and my daughter lasted from her birth until she was slightly more than 1.5 years old.  My in-laws wouldn't let our daughter cry anything out, or if she acted out they wouldn't correct her or want anyone else to correct her.  At the time, I can definitely tell you that I felt that the way that you describe: like it was undermining my relationship with my daughter.  I realize that my daughter at the time was younger than your daughter is now, but I would bet that it is the same kind of feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just like you, I was trying to find a financial solution that would let us move out but in our case it was to be able to afford our own place and still be able to pay for my in-laws housing (as both were too sick to work) and provide home healthcare.  Unfortunately, my wife and I never could find that solution.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As other parents have stated, your daughter's behavior sounds spot-on from our experience (our daughter turned 4 in December 2013).  I am not trying to excuse away your parent's behavior or your daughter's behavior.  I know how frustrating both sets can be; you probably feel like you are getting it from all sides and you don't have any &quot;escape&quot; as you all live in the same house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In time, especially this past holiday season I have come to realize that my in-laws were doing the best they could try to balance the way they parented their kids with my and my wife's style.  Sometimes that didn't work and we were all frustrated, sometimes it did work but we were too tired to realize that it was working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that reading the experiences of someone else who lived with parents/in-laws helps you understand that you are not alone in feeling the way you are feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6571" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T08:05:32.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10584" CreationDate="2014-01-17T09:33:55.837" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid, I had a Lego sack, a round piece of jeans cloth, about a meter in diameter, with a drawstring along the edge. When spread out, it was a round playing rug, when drawn closed, it was a sack holding the Lego. Mine was an official Lego&lt;sup&gt;&amp;reg;&lt;/sup&gt; one, but I found &lt;a href=&quot;http://tonicoward.blogspot.nl/2010/09/lego-sack-tutorial.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;a tutorial&lt;/a&gt; to make your own, in your preferred size, depending on the amount of Lego.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this, in itself, doesn't keep the baby away from the Lego, it does provide a simple and quick way to put it out of reach &amp;ndash; just draw the string to close it. And you can pick it up easily and move it to an area where the baby isn't.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also, you can teach your eldest to not play with Lego outside of the rug. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also put the sack down in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10592/5026&quot;&gt;Mary Jo Finch's playzone&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T09:33:55.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3010" CreationDate="2014-01-17T10:10:58.190" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A way I found to help reduce clutter is to reduce the number of &lt;em&gt;types&lt;/em&gt; of toys.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do your kids like dinosaurs? Let people know that they do, so that most gifts are dinosaur related and can go into the dinosaur bin. Do they like cars? Dolls? Trains? Same thing.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Especially Lego and Playmobil are great in this respect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't address all aspects of your question, but it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; help reduce clutter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T10:10:58.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11105" CreationDate="2014-01-17T10:48:04.553" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;May I suggest that if the issue is &quot;their preferred shoes make it too easy to trip on the stairs&quot; you fix it by making them wear something else for indoor running around?  I don't know what their preferred shoes are -- there are plenty of articles saying flip flops are not safe (just google &quot;flip flops dangerous&quot;) -- but running is natural to kids and stopping at a few steps is not.  Can they just have bare feet?  Wear snug sneakers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the issue is they crowd the stairs and someone always ends up getting pushed and falling, of course, that's a different story.  You need to ban the indoor running around -- or enforce that it stay on one level -- until they can be more considerate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternately... Have a rule that the first person you catch running on the stairs has to spend the next half hour standing by the stairs reminding everyone else to walk up and down them.  She cannot leave to go play with the other kids until the half hour is up or she catches someone else running on the stairs -- at which point that child replaces the first child as Guardian of the Stairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(But I really think they should be allowed to run on the stairs, if it can be made safe.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T10:48:04.553" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-17T11:34:49.217" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Read&lt;/strong&gt; picture books to her and &lt;strong&gt;sing&lt;/strong&gt; whenever you get the opportunity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sing together&lt;/strong&gt; if you can. Children don't care if you you're tone deaf or can't really sing...they just like the sound of your voice, maybe seeing you make a fool of your self, or they might &lt;strong&gt;sing with you&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will come to &lt;strong&gt;LOVE&lt;/strong&gt; the sound of your voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when she rests her head on your chest to hear ther source of that voice, she will know and &lt;strong&gt;LOVE&lt;/strong&gt; your heartbeat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will soon be out of your mums bed and into yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6574" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T11:34:49.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11126" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-17T11:58:33.937" Score="3" ViewCount="3434" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler is 1 year and two months old; he's no longer breastfeeding, and the only time he drinks formula is when he wakes up in the middle of the night (usually, he wakes up once a night, takes a small bottle, and goes right back to sleep). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the past several weeks, he's been suffering diarrhea, which seems a direct response to the formula. (It started when we once gave him an off-brand formula, but then continued with our regular brand and we also tried a non-dairy variety. Whenever we managed to get him through a night or two without, the diarrhea would stop. Besides the diarrhea he's been absolutely fine and cheerful.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, we don't know what to do when he wakes up in the middle of the night. He's used to getting a bottle, and cries hysterically until he gets it. He doesn't want water or sweetened herbal tea; as soon as he sees it isn't white, he bats it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'd like to know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there some other drink I could be giving him?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alternatively, &lt;strong&gt;should I try to wean him off midnight snacks entirely, and if so, how?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="53" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T17:03:57.010" Title="Alternatives and/or weaning for late-night milk formula" Tags="|toddler|formula|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11127" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-17T12:44:02.290" Score="2" ViewCount="1362" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find it very distressing to witness the disfiguring of my grandaughter while my daughter says it is ok for her to cut her own her hair, from beautiful long curly hair to a hacked haircut. What can I do about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6575" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-01-17T16:26:07.613" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T17:41:56.293" Title="As a grandma what can I say if my daughter sits and watches her 4 year old hack at her hair" Tags="|pre-schooler|adult-child|grandparents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11127" CreationDate="2014-01-17T13:11:02.850" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, unless your daughter gave her a large sharp knife to cut her hair with, it's not abuse or anything. It sounds like your daughter is letting her daughter take some control over her own appearance.  If, once she's done, your granddaughter is displeased with her haircut, take her to a hairdresser for a repair.  If your granddaughter likes her hair, LET IT ALONE.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Else, if you find it distressing, I recommend you remove yourself from the situation (either physically, or by reading a book or otherwise distracting yourself).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T13:11:02.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11127" CreationDate="2014-01-17T13:23:21.427" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming you're not your granddaughters legal guardian, remember that &lt;em&gt;your granddaughter is not your daughter&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a parent (read: any legal guardian) is present, knows what is going on and has okayed it, you are not to interfere. The only exceptions are when she is (in danger of) hurting herself, or hurting you or something of yours.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If those exceptions do not apply, leave it be, &lt;em&gt;how hard that may be&lt;/em&gt;, and take it up with your daughter instead, &lt;em&gt;in private&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-01-17T13:55:09.877" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T13:55:09.877" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6377" CreationDate="2014-01-17T13:53:48.387" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a Dutch board game that's great for learning the concept of counting. Unfortunately, I don't know if there's an English version as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's called &quot;Hondje Waf&quot;, which translates to &quot;Doggy Woof&quot;. The idea of the game is simple. A (mother) dog barks 1, 2 or 3 times and that replaces the die. The players have to count the number of barks and move their pieces (little dogs) accordingly. This makes the counting less abstract; they're listening to mother dog telling them how many steps to take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you can find a similar game, or if you &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; want one, order one from The Netherlands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T13:53:48.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11127" CreationDate="2014-01-17T14:03:37.220" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answers provided so far are a bit brusque, but I'd suggest that's because, as you most likely know, we all want to be free to raise our children in our own way -- sometimes quite different from how our parents raised us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember telling my mother when I was rather young that I wasn't going to learn from all of her mistakes: I would sometimes make my own mistakes and learn from those and that is OK. (I've always been rather precocious, lol.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, parenting isn't about controlling your child, but teaching them to think about choices, considering the positive and negative consquences and then letting them (where it isn't dangerous) make their own decisions.  To that end, when my daughter at 12 wanted to dye her hair, I talked with her about the consequences to ensure she understood them, but ultimately let her make the decision to dye her hair... she now regrets it and &quot;never&quot; wants to dye her hair again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned in one of the comments, a private conversation with your daughter to understand her rationale may be all that's needed for you to accept the parenting decision she has made.  If her decision seems illogical, then it may behoove you to kindly offer a consideration of all the facts at hand for your daughter to re-evaluate her parenting methodology, but ultimately provided she doesn't allow or cause harm to her daughter, her choice of parenting is in her hands -- we don't always like or approve of the decisions our children make, but did our parents always approve of our decisions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T14:03:37.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11132" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-17T14:38:52.647" Score="35" ViewCount="12435" Body="&lt;p&gt;My friend recently shared this experience, and I thought it would be a good question for our site:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, [my son] got in trouble in school today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that the kids were lined up in the hallway, listening to an announcement. Some of the kids were ignoring it in order to talk loudly amongst themselves. [My son] told them to be quiet and listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To which a nearby teacher told him to quit being a tattletale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He came home humiliated and embarrassed, and assured my wife that he won’t make that mistake again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almost ten years of teaching him to not be one of those &lt;strong&gt;censored&lt;/strong&gt; people who looks the other way and pretends not to notice when he sees someone who needs help or someone doing something wrong; undone in an instant by one of those same &lt;strong&gt;censored&lt;/strong&gt; people who somehow managed to get a job influencing small children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way for my friend to approach this situation, both with his son, and with the school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2021-02-05T05:13:27.673" Title="How do I address a teacher humiliating my son by calling him a &quot;tattletale&quot;?" Tags="|middle-childhood|conflict|teacher|morals|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-17T15:48:51.713" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the school: start with the teacher. Explain why what the teacher did was WRONG and let him/her know what you expect him/her to do going forward.  If a satisfactory response is not received, ESCALATE.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the son: geez, that's rough. He was doing the right thing, as you've taught him, and is at that age where peer regard is starting to be SO important.  However, even if he was embarrassed by this teacher singling him out (grrrr, what a jerk), he's not likely to throw away everything you've taught him all at once.  Keep on modelling what you believe to be appropriate behavior in this and other instances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's still processing things, maybe try some more discussions and role-play with him: put him in the teacher's shoes, the other kids' shoes, and his own, and see how each one feels and what he believes the right (not comfortable) thing for each party to do would have been.  Let him figure out how he would have behaved in that situation if the teacher had not said that, if the teacher had tried to single him out even more, if the other kids were supportive of him, if they were derisive of him.  Help him figure out what he wants to do next time, and what he feels comfortable with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T15:48:51.713" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-17T15:52:52.673" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids are very good at putting their own spin on the situation and I feel there are a few things that seem out of place...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things children need to learn is when it is appropriate to help and what help is appropriate.  As someone who deals with a large group of children regularly myself I can tell you the noise of one or more children trying to 'be the adult' and asking others to be quiet contributes as much to the problem as the original noisy kids do.  And since the teachers were clearly close by enough to know who was talking that they really didn't need the help.  That is something to discuss with the son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The use of such a phrase also seems out of place for what they boy was doing, since it was quite incorrect usage of the term which makes me suspect there could be more to the situation than you've heard.  Since he felt belittled in front of his friends/peers, that may be a concern that should be discussed with their teacher/school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When approaching the school / teachers keep an open mind, explain what the situation/problem is and take up an 'ask, don't tell' position.  That way you will get a better understanding of the situation and ultimately a better resolution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T15:52:52.673" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-17T15:54:18.633" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would address the accuracy of the name calling first. Was he shushing the noisy people, or announcing loudly that they should shush in order to get a teacher's attention? What was his true motivation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it was simply to tell them what is right, I would say something like &quot;the teacher was mistaken (it happens) and thought you were trying to get them in trouble. You weren't. Don't worry about the name calling.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it was in fact aimed at reporting, I would talk about whether reporting talkers (by talking) is a good behavior or not, and why a teacher might want to stop that while still supporting reporting rule breakers in general. This would be done mostly by asking questions and letting the child work it out for himself. I might also do this even in the wasn't-trying-to-report case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally I would talk about the difference between &quot;John, there's no need to tell me what I can see for myself, please stay out of it&quot; and &quot;John, don't be a tattletale&quot; - the second is rude and doesn't have enough explanation in it. In my experience teachers quite often leave out important information that some children are not able to infer from context. I could also compare &quot;John, correcting behavior within the school is my job, not yours&quot; with &quot;John, don't be a tattletale.&quot; After dealing with &quot;sometimes grownups don't do the best thing&quot; you could then talk a bit about which of those two sentences the teacher meant, and then take the actual lesson on board.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T15:54:18.633" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-17T16:39:34.190" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will answer this from the point of view of, once upon a time, the child in this situation.  I don't know if any of this applies to your friend's child as I don't know him, but perhaps it will for others in a similar situation if nothing else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was the 'perfect' student as a child; always the teacher's pet, always the top of the class, always wanting everyone else to follow the rules.  As such, I was very frequently the child in the OP: telling the kids in the class to shush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never was called a tattle tale by a teacher (certainly frequently by the students), but to some extent I wish I had been - not in that way, mind you, it sounds like (unless the child is leaving out details) the teacher didn't handle it in a very mature way - but at some point in my late elementary school or early middle school career, it would've been nice for someone to explain to me exactly what I was doing: putting myself above my classmates, and as such ensuring I would not have any friends until high school, at which point an older student who I had made friends with explained all of this to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue for me was primarily that I believed I was smarter/better/etc. than everyone else, largely because I was told that I was by my parents and my teachers - not necessarily in a bad way, I'd note; I was probably analytically smarter than the other kids, and they wanted to encourage me to keep learning, and I in many ways did act more mature than the other kids - and not really taught humility sufficiently (as hard as that is to do).  When I was hushing them, I was reminding them that I was smarter/more mature than they were, and putting them in their place.  That led to social issues, and led to me continuing to believe I was better than the other kids up until I ran into the brick wall of puberty - and even after, in many ways, until the lessons from my friend in high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what I'd do in this case, is ascertain to what extent the child was taking the appropriate action for the situation.  If he was shushing the other kids, it's almost certainly &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; the right action - whether it is &quot;playing adult&quot;, or contributing to noise, or whatever, I've very rarely seen a situation where one kid telling other kids to be quiet was productive.  If he couldn't hear the announcement, he should either raise his hand and tell his teacher that he can't hear politely - not addressing the cause of the noise, simply addressing the specific problem at hand - or after it was over, ask the teacher politely what the announcement was about, as he couldn't hear.  If that is exactly what the student did, and it wasn't very well received, then perhaps let the student know that the teacher may have been having a difficult time (stress etc.) and to not let one bad experience throw him off; and then spend a little time reinforcing the correct ways to deal with the problem to give him some good tools in his toolbox.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is of course a separate problem here, that the teacher may not be doing enough to control the class; that's impossible for any of us to really answer without being there.  I've worked in schools where the teachers cared very little, and noise there was a constant; I've worked in schools where they cared very much, and controlled it effectively; and plenty of places in between.  If this is a long term issue, your friend may want to go to the principal with her/his concerns, or even consider changing schools if the school is run poorly in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T16:39:34.190" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6377" CreationDate="2014-01-17T16:53:40.457" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I've noticed with my 2.5 year old is that, while he can count-in-sequence to 20 only missing a teen or two, he can count items only up to 3 reliably.  That's because there are two ways you count items; one is where you actually iterate through the items one by one until you hit the total, and one is simply instantly recognizing a known quantity.  Your brain is able to see 3 jelly beans and realize it is 3, but seeing 8 jellybeans, unless they're in a nice pattern, you probably have to count to verify.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if that progresses over time (ie, if a kid has a smaller number of 'recognized' counts than an adult), but it's very obvious with my son: he accurately identifies 1, 2, or 3 items instantly, while 4 he can't identify instantly, and only sometimes is willing to count them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of difficulty counting, what can be very hard is counting &lt;em&gt;without replacement&lt;/em&gt;, to borrow a survey research term.  In other words, there are 4 dogs red/blue/green/yellow, so you count, red, then blue, then green, then red, ... no, wait, we counted that one already!  For a child that's extremely difficult, both because they haven't trained their short term memories well enough to actually remember which ones they've counted, and because they haven't learned pathing and sorting tricks to help (ie, count clockwise, etc.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're ever in a cell biology lab, try counting red blood cells on a slide.  It's nearly impossible the first time, because they're randomly distributed about the slide - pathing tricks don't work very well, and sorting is pretty hard unless you have a grid over your slide to help you out.  Younger kids are basically at that level of difficulty just counting 5 or 6 dots on a die.  Teaching them sorting/pathing should help a lot, but ultimately, time and practice is mostly what will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T16:53:40.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11126" CreationDate="2014-01-17T17:03:57.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For us, the only way we could wean our first son (and will soon with our second!) is to &lt;strong&gt;stop doing middle of the night feedings&lt;/strong&gt;.  Our 10 month old is mostly weaned off of them, but still sometimes will wake up and ask for some; how we got even this far was simply to stop feeding and rock him to bed.  That led to a couple of rough nights, but it doesn't take that long really; after a few nights of no food, he goes back to sleep and doesn't expect it any more.  If he's just doing it for comfort, this will work fairly well; if he's actually hungry, that needs to be addressed separately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main limitation on this is that if he's sick, it's probably a bad time to do this, as he may need the extra food and/or comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some strategies to help make this easier:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feed him solid food that lasts (ie, meats, cheeses, fatty/proteiny things, fibrous green vegetables, etc.), in as large a quantity as he'll take.  The more solid food he eats that stays in the tummy, the longer he'll sleep.  Starchy or sugary foods, formula, etc. won't help here as they go away too fast.  He may be hungry, so address this need.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work on getting him to sleep without feeding immediately before bed.  You don't say if you're doing this right now, but it's easier to get them back to sleep without feeding if they know how to fall asleep without feeding.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider changing the sleep schedule.  Maybe he's waking up at 3am for food because it's 8 hours after he went to bed, and he's a shorter sleeper.  If he goes to bed at 7pm and wakes at 3am, consider moving him to a 9pm-5am schedule, or removing/adjusting his naps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also consider his meal schedule.  Perhaps he should be eating closer to bedtime, or further from it (more likely closer, but every baby is different).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider whether there are other potential issues, such as night noise that is waking him up.  Perhaps a white noise machine (ie, play sounds of the rain forest etc.) would help him stay asleep (nothing with words).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T17:03:57.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11127" CreationDate="2014-01-17T17:13:40.953" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I happen to believe a parent's responsibility doesn't end when her children are grown, it just changes somewhat.  Does it bother me when my Mom offers unsolicited advice about my own children?  Sometimes yes, but I understand there are things I can and do still learn from her, that it's still part of her role, and that I am free to take what she says under advisement and still do it my way.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is kind and wise enough to not undermine me in front of my children, to use a degree of tact in bringing things up, and to leave it alone after she's given her input.  It sounds like you are extending that same courtesy to your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understand there are things everyone likes and doesn't like about their own upbringing, and often parenting style is deliberately chosen to be different in certain areas from one's own parents.  I'm sure you can think of things your mother did that you didn't want to continue to the next generation.  Who knows, maybe one of those those things was even that your Mom never stopped you from making mistakes like hacking your hair!  That's not necessarily a sign of disrespect.  It's a sign that your daughter wants to learn both from your strengths and perceived weaknesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would go with the Stephen Covey approach of &quot;Seek first to understand, then to be understood.&quot;  Have a conversation with your daughter about why she feels it is important to her to let her daughter cut her own hair.  Listen completely before making any judgements.  Once you &lt;em&gt;fully&lt;/em&gt; understand her reasons, you might be surprised to find you actually agree.  If you still disagree, you will have a better understanding of how to share that in a way she will understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of parents are permissive because they don't want to stifle their child's creativity, but sometimes it's hard to recognize there is a middle ground where children can be creative without being destructive, or to recognize the difference between stifling and providing supportive structure and guidance.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is middle ground between letting a four year-old cut her own hair and preventing a four year-old from having any say at all about her own body.  A good compromise would be to let the daughter choose her own style, but get it cut by a professional so it turns out how she intended.  I think it's a great role for a grandparent to suggest alternatives your daughter might not have considered, while taking her unique parenting style into account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T17:13:40.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11074" CreationDate="2014-01-17T17:16:05.490" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find a time for him to blow off the excess steam earlier in the day.  Maybe he's not getting enough running around at his daycare.  You can't do it once you've put him to bed, though, that will just wind him up further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you find a calming book on tape for toddlers?  Or music?  Just for these crazy nights, once it has started to happen?  Put him in bed, turn it on and sit next to his door reading.  My thought is, the story should attract his attention, so he won't be interested in running around, and sitting calmly to listen will help calm his mind.  But the rule is, he can only listen if he stays in bed and doesn't try to talk to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it also seems a little like &quot;rewarding him for bad behavior&quot; except it seems clear he's not doing this because he wants to but because he can't help himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T17:16:05.490" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-17T17:32:23.723" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Listen and sympathize with the child.  &quot;Oh dear. That doesn't sound good. I bet you felt bad afterwards&quot;.  Then discuss the situation.  Ask why the child thinks the teacher did that, what the child can do in future. This is supportive and encouraging the child to develp their own strategies. You can mention the fact that sometimes people make mistakes.  You can mention that sometimes it is easiest to let a person struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you have a quiet word with the teacher.  You ask them what happened and what the situation was.  You then compare what the teacher says against what the child said.  You then document this, and keep it for future use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T17:32:23.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9213" CreationDate="2014-01-17T20:33:49.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Praise and ignore, praise and ignore, praise and ignore.  Works miracles with everyone from young children to full adults.  Despite my ardent belief in this, I am still shocked every time it works.  &quot;Thank you Beth for sitting quietly and listening!  I see Ronnie is quiet and ready to learn; great job Ronnie!&quot;  They'll fall in line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Seriously, this is how I get my partner to do the dishes and other household chores.  Please don't tell him.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user6589" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T20:33:49.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4294" CreationDate="2014-01-17T20:37:59.540" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd just point out (as a former teacher) that the 'best' teacher can vary from child to child (I had students I know I worked wonders with, and others that I couldn't reach but other teachers could, and vice versa).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, although first grade may be young for this, learning how to deal with a difficult person in authority may be the most valuable lesson a student can learn in the classroom.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, experience is certainly important (I'd be wary of first-year teachers--we're all terrible) but an experienced teacher is not always better.  Just like everyone else, we're individuals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user6589" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T20:37:59.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-17T20:54:27.490" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few things going on here, and a lot of it has to do with rules and intention.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If no one was being hurt by the activities of the other children, then the idea that he will learn to &quot;pretend not to notice when he sees someone who needs help&quot; simply by being called a tattletale is absurd.  Further, if the teacher is right there, giving instruction, then there is already one person of authority who can evaluate the situation and manage the students.  If she needs help shushing the students, she will ask for that help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the teacher has a rule about other children talking while she's talking, then him shushing the other students is also a violation of the rule he's telling them to obey.  This isn't tattling.  Perhaps he was trying to help the other students not get in trouble.  Perhaps he was having a hard time paying attention and was trying to make it easier for himself.  Perhaps he was trying to get them into trouble.  Regardless, he may have been breaking the rule as well.  Telling him not to do this is fine.  Again, he will learn over time to be able to recognize when it's appropriate and not appropriate to speak up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, assuming that he's actually tattling, that his intention isn't to help the students but to get them into trouble, then the teacher is right - our society does not appreciate people who speak up if their intention is &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; to get another person into trouble, or cause a problem between two other people.  This isn't polite or appropriate behavior.  IF this is what he's doing, and you as a parent want him to get into other people's business and cause such problems, you should consider home schooling, because this isn't acceptable in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children, however, are clearly able to learn, over time, the difference between turning a blind eye to something that should be tended to, and actively hurting people by sharing information that would have and should have been kept private.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to the teacher and discuss your concerns.  Then talk to your child and explain when it's appropriate to speak up, and when it's not.  Then reinforce that over time by your own actions and example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T20:54:27.490" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4294" CreationDate="2014-01-17T21:27:21.020" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some teachers are clearly better at teaching than others. But it's more important to know that some teachers are a better fit for your particular child than others. For example, a strict disciplinarian is great if your child doesn't need much disciplining anyway, because noise and chaos from other students will be minimized, but for another child that teacher might turn the classroom into a battlefield and poison the joy of learning. So you want to learn &lt;strong&gt;which teacher is the best fit&lt;/strong&gt;, not which teacher is the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This turns out to be a good thing, because it means that the people settling the classes can please everyone, instead of just the fraction of parents who want Mrs X because they've heard she's the best. It does mean more work for the class-settlers (typically the principal) and possibly the parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should you do? First, &lt;strong&gt;gather information&lt;/strong&gt;. This is hard to do when your child doesn't attend the school yet, but simpler once you're there. Come to every parent-teacher night, volunteer appreciation barbeque, concert, sports event, fundraising bake sale etc etc. If you can, volunteer at the school (milk lady, headlice checker, reading to the Grade 1s, whatever your school wants of the parents.) And when you're there, surrounded by other parents, &lt;strong&gt;talk to them&lt;/strong&gt;. Many have a child older than yours and can tell you about the teachers - their styles, their strengths and weaknesses, etc. You will probably also get a chance to &lt;strong&gt;see the teachers in action&lt;/strong&gt;, even if it's just watching them on yard duty or in the hallways. Field trips really show a teacher's personality as well. If you can, join non-school activities like skating, scouts, gymnastics etc that pull kids from the area - those parents who are watching along with you (or volunteering along with you) probably know the teachers too. Talk to every parent you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, once you know that Mrs X would be a great fit for your kid &lt;strong&gt;do not&lt;/strong&gt; contact the school and ask for Mrs X to be your kid's teacher. If you feel that Mrs Y would be terrible, do not ask for &quot;anyone except Mrs Y.&quot; Instead, do three things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;list out to yourself what you think is vital for your kid to have a great year. The kind of teacher it is, whether their best friend X is in the classroom, being a split class (eg Grade 2/3 in the same room) or not being one, you liking the teacher (my kids loved teachers I hated and vice versa) and so on&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;decide what the top two or three things are&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;write a letter explaining about those things and asking them to be taken into account when settling the classes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why not just say &quot;I want Mrs X&quot; or &quot;I don't want Mrs Y&quot; ? Because the principal can then tut to themselves about how naïve parents are and they don't know all the stuff the poor overworked principal has to take into account when mixing classrooms. Which is true: you don't want all the kids with involved caring parents in one class; who will volunteer in the others? You don't want all the rambunctious loud kids in one class, or all the timid and shy ones either - it needs to be mixed up on a lot of axes. So you are not telling the principal what to choose. You're providing some information that might not otherwise be available, about your child fitting well with a strong disciplinarian or a soft soothing type, or an outdoorsy nature focused type. But you're doing so know that there is only one &quot;outdoorsy nature focused&quot; teacher in your child's grade, and that you like everything else about that teacher and want that teacher for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone I know who does this has got the teacher they wanted every time. Ten or more years in a row per kid. But &lt;strong&gt;one more thing&lt;/strong&gt;: nothing will help your child in school more than you being involved in the school. Coming on field trips, coming to events, knowing the teachers and the other kids by name and them knowing you. Your kid will get the benefit of the doubt in a lot of circumstances if the adults involved all feel good about you. Your letter asking for something is more likely to succeed. And you will know what is happening and what the issues are if things start to go badly for your child. Be there as much as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-01-17T21:34:19.573" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T21:34:19.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4294" CreationDate="2014-01-17T21:39:08.190" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say the most important thing you can do is get your child into a good &lt;strong&gt;school&lt;/strong&gt;, with a solid principal and staff.  Once you've done that (either by living somewhere with a good school, or by going to a good private school, or otherwise), you're already putting your child in a good position to succeed; you probably won't have a lot of control over &lt;em&gt;which&lt;/em&gt; teachers your child gets, but if you have 8 years of primary education, and are in a school staffed with mostly very good teachers, odds are you'll get enough good teachers to make a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, just keep an eye on things, and if you have a particularly poor fit, see if you can get your child transferred; and of course, stay heavily involved in his/her education so you can make up for the gaps that do occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T21:39:08.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11127" CreationDate="2014-01-17T21:57:44.040" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The perspective we have taken with our kids is that while we would love them to have great hair all the time, it is fun for them to mess with it, and it can help get it out of their systems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd rather they did it now than when they are going to job interviews as adults, so we encourage them to do what they like - and this has included a bit of self haircutting, mohawks, colours etc. It's fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents maybe wouldn't have liked it, but it's only hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest relaxing and realising it won't make your granddaughter a bad/ugly/crazy person, it doesn't make your daughter a bad person, and it definitely is not your business unless either of them wants to make it your business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-01-17T21:57:44.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-17T23:43:15.573" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something Alice (who is quite a bit younger), as well as a number of students (who were also, mostly middle school students) I have had have struggled with.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me preface this by saying, I know Beofett is asking with a friend in mind, I am going to write this as if I am speaking directly to the parent just for the sake of simplicity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids do have to learn how to figure out when to intervene in certain things and when not to and this can take some time.  It is still difficult even for some high school kids, and frankly, even for adults in particularly complex situtations.  Kids with parents that offer guidance, support and loving feedback along the way, probably often &quot;get it&quot; more quickly or better in the end (but I don't have specific research to back that up).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For The Adolescent In the Question&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During your conversations about this, make sure your child knows that seeking quiet while trying to learn is not wrong.  Sticking up for his/her needs is not wrong (it is called being a self-advocate). Trying to help a friend stay out of trouble is not wrong either and that you are proud of your child for making decisions with these things in mind.  However, you may also find it helpful to point out to your kid that there are ways to do the above three things that are more likely to result in resistance/argument and other ways to do these three things that are more likely to &quot;work.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking some questions and finding out exactly what and how the child spoke to the other kids (in a calm, loving tone) may help a parent find ways to guide a child to a &quot;better&quot; way to get what they want.  For example, with Alice, she often &quot;corrects&quot; others because she sees it as a helpful thing to do - she is trying to help them &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; get into trouble.  Young kids might word something like this as, &quot;You guys need to be quiet or you'll get into trouble.&quot; and really mean it at the face value of what they said.  Meanwhile the child/children at the receiving end of the &quot;correction&quot; hear a threat and an intervening teacher in a bad mood, with too much to do who is tired of interruptions might also react unprofessionally and poorly without even giving it a moment's thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I might offer up the following concept (though maybe not this specific wording) for discussion with your kid as well - especially if you think shades of the idea might be applicable in this situation, but over time all kids should have the following &quot;idea&quot; conveyed to them in some way or another:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, being a &quot;tattle tale&quot; is absolutely the right thing to do. &#xA;Lets consider an adult situation - coming to the aid of someone in the middle of a burglery at gun-point may not be the safest way to get help.  At the same time, it isn't right to simply walk away and do nothing either.  In this circumstance, being a tattle-tale and calling the police for help is most likely the best way to get help for the victim without getting yourself hurt.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my former teen students came to me to report her friend was likely to attempt suicide over the weekend (This girl's friend had even already obtained the means with which to do it and had a plan worked out) - thank God that child was a &quot;tattle tale.&quot;  At the same time, going to a teacher to say, &quot;so and so called so and so a jerk.&quot;  Probably isn't really helping anyone and kids need to learn to stick up for themselves and/or problem solve for themselves a little bit too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, contrast the idea with examples where &quot;telling&quot; is really just about getting someone in trouble or exacting revenge - something that is definitely &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; helpful.  There is also a range of in-betweens that could be discussed.  Discovering or creating some differing examples and debating whether to &quot;tell&quot; or not to &quot;tell&quot; and what to do if &quot;telling&quot; isn't appropriate can be a really good exercise for kids.  Having these kinds of discussions in an impersonal way over dinner is also a great way to show your adolescent how much you recognize about his/her growth.  By discussing more difficult issues and asking them for their thoughts, they get exercise with tougher situations &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; see an example of you seeing them as more than a &quot;kid.&quot;  Plus, you still have the window of opportunity to offer your own thoughts and feedback too.  I actually did this kind of thing with my eighth grade guidance groups and sometimes helped them &quot;role play&quot; situations with each other in a supportive environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With Alice (who is only seven), I've worked a lot on teaching &quot;I messages&quot; for the times when she really needs someone else to be quiet or follow a rule for her own reasons.  &quot;So and so, I'm really trying to understand this and I can't hear what the teacher is saying.  Can you please be a little quieter&quot; might mean she comes across as a total nerd, but she definitely won't come across as a &quot;tattle-tale&quot; or &quot;goodie two-shoes.&quot;  A confident nerd, can be proud of her nerdiness after-all &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; you do catch more flies with honey . . . i.e. &quot;I&quot; messages often just work better in these types of situations than anything else.  I also taught this technique to my &quot;homeroom, advisory group or guidance group&quot; depending on the school and in particular taught to kids that needed to self-advocate with other kids, their parents, or other teachers for one reason or another.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For situations where Alice is trying to help out a friend or acquantance, there are some subtler nuances, we haven't quite figured out how to help her with yet, but for the most part, teaching her to lead with, &quot;hey, maybe you don't know about the _____ rule.  Would you like me to explain it to you?&quot; (or something like it) comes off as much more &quot;helpful&quot; in intention.  For older kids, that can get more of the nuance, I'd recommend a more sophisticated wording, but that is how we've talked about it with Alice up until now.  If the child doesn't want the help, she has been taught not to offer it - let the kid get themselves into trouble, they are knowingly breaking a rule and choosing to break it at that point.  We are still working on how to help her figure out when to just not say anything and it may be that she just needs time and experience for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;With the Teacher&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The moment may have been so meaningless to the teacher (trust me, there are some &quot;choice&quot; people that have managed to get into the profession as well as some that truly are grade-A top sirloin), that he/she may not even remember it.  At the same time, the comment may have come because the child in question is often trying to &quot;help&quot; others by reminding them of the rules and there &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; actually be a latent irritation even by the teacher over the matter.  For this reason, I &lt;strong&gt;do&lt;/strong&gt; suggest bringing the topic up with the teacher.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11135/2876&quot;&gt;Chrys&lt;/a&gt; points out, there is likely more to the story than we realize, so approaching the teacher with questions as opposed to accusations is a tact that will leave you much more informed (this likely includes feedback you can give your child in a much more loving way than the teacher did) &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11133/2876&quot;&gt;James Snell&lt;/a&gt; points out, approaching this with an &quot;ask&quot; attitude rather than a &quot;tell&quot; one means you are more likely get you better results because you do catch more flies with honey. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've heard the teacher's side of things, you can react accordingly using the same kind of &quot;I&quot; messages I suggest teaching to your child, just instead they'd be &quot;we&quot; messages - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;for example, &quot;I was just concerned about the encounter because Johnny seemed really taken aback by your statement about being a tattle-tale.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I feel Johnny did not understand what it was he did wrong in the situation, and from what he has told, me I can't figure it out to help him understand either - could you tell me more about it?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I am concerned that because you confronted him in front of the whole class and so quickly he was left feeling confused and unable to ask questions of you.  In the future, could you find a way to correct him more privately or, if you don't have the time for that, email me about things rather than confronting him in this way so that I might be able to take more time to explain things?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As someone else mentions, it is always smart to make a record of the date and time of your conversation and at the very least, the topic you discussed and the concensus you came out of the conversation with.  Just in case further problems crop up, it never hurts to have a record with dates and at least the &quot;jist&quot; of what was discussed if not a transcript (which can be hard to get without seeming too &quot;official&quot; about it.  &lt;strong&gt;Keep all emails though&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For the Parent&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't stress too much about one teacher.  Yes, they spend a lot of time with your kid, but only for one year.  Over the long-term, the parents are still &lt;strong&gt;the most influential&lt;/strong&gt; people in the life of a growing child, and often in the resulting adult as well.  One flippant remark made by a teacher in an unprofessional (no matter how justified the statement may actually have been, name-calling your students is definitely something there is &lt;strong&gt;no excuse&lt;/strong&gt; for) moment will not determine the type of child your kid will become.  This does not undo all your work, it is simply a temporary set-back.  Just the fact that your son shared this experience with you means he gets the teacher was wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T01:31:24.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6055" CreationDate="2014-01-18T05:34:03.880" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are good suggestions in the other answers, but I think one other way you can encourage your son and still enjoy the time is to offer to take turns with him.  This might satisfy his need for a little bit of independence, and at the same time you can help him understand what it is he's looking at.  You could let him go first (set a number of pages, paragraphs, or pictures - some measure he can understand and anticipate) and then take your turn for the same interval, and so on. That way you both are enjoying your time together, without either of you getting frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6596" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T05:34:03.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-18T05:49:51.393" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Call your local news station,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;snitches wind up in ditches&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;is just plain bad for society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son should be taught the difference between crying wolf and snitching and be taught that informing &quot;the authorities&quot; of an infraction in any case, micro-culture etc. is his civic duty. If necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but seriously get that teacher and their comments on your local news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6597" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T05:49:51.393" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-18T16:36:50.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The parents need to get the most honest story out of the kid as possible. (It sounds like we might be getting dad's version of mom's version of kid's version of what happened.) What was described wasn't tattling; it was dealing with his peers. It's possible the teacher just spoke wrong (and really meant, &quot;Calm down&quot; or &quot;Mind your own business&quot;), but it's also possible the kid was tattling and it wasn't clear from the way he told the story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It matters because the namecalling can be dealt with slightly differently depending on whether it's accurate or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first priority is to try to sooth the kid's hurt feelings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he really wasn't tattling, but just telling some people to shush, then it's important to reinforce, &quot;You're not a tattletale, you know that.&quot; Insults that aren't accurrate tend to sting less. Either way, help him to blow off some steam in whatever way he prefers. If he's a typical middle school boy, he might be interested in jokes about it. If he's a more sensitive soul, a favorite meal or some ice cream might do more for his mood. Despite the fact that he's referred to as a small child, middle schoolers tend to cope in very similar ways to adults, and meeting him half way is apt to help cheer him up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to proceed depends largely on how the kid wants to deal with it. This was unfortunate, but it alone does not automatically necessitate parent-school interaction. Respond to what the child needs in terms of resolution. Simply losing this battle and dropping it is an option. Him, if he's fully calmed down, directly telling the teacher she(?) hurt his feelings is an option. You providing moral support is an option. You approaching the school is an option. This should be about helping the kid to resolution. These last options are the riskiest and likely will end with a disappointing lack of concrete response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found the last paragraph a bit disconcerting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We need to teach our kids to be people of character. This involves doing what is necessary when someone needs help, including going to the authorities (and for that matter, including disobeying the authorities.) If the lessons that go into have strong character are learned, they are not easily undone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's NOT the same thing as tattling! When a kid (or an adult) goes to the authorities, it needs to be to get someone &lt;em&gt;out&lt;/em&gt; of trouble, not to get someone &lt;em&gt;into&lt;/em&gt; trouble. It sounds like the parents might have confused &quot;noticing when he sees someone who needs help&quot; with having an overgrown superego. Talking in the hallway simply isn't one of these situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would share a lot of indignation--the teacher did act wrong--but I'm afraid the parents might not have their heads screwed in quite right at the moment and could do more harm than good if they try to act without calming down and taking a step back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6607" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T16:36:50.570" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-18T16:45:33.733" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Taking the whole account with a grain of salt, that is, assuming what you have related to be generally accurate, I have an opinion which is only that, an opinion from experience raising wonderfully successful children. here are the relevant factors:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A child's responsibility while in school is to learn what he's taught and to interact with others according to an established set of rules including obedience to teachers' directions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Every child (and adult) breaks a rule at times - whether aware or not. Some more than others. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children are especially given to doing so because of the nature of youth. If you try to take that away from a child, you'll harm them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents have the responsibility of a) preventing unacceptable behavior through training. (Good for you - soundslike you are one of the few who actually do this!)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;parents also have the responsibility to discipline their children. NOTE: root language translations of the English word 'discipline' relate more toward discussion and teaching after the fact than attaching a physical response.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We all have an innate right to choose right or wrong in everything we do. This includes our children.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Part of learning is to discover and remember that there are potential consequences to every decision one makes. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ignoring wrongdoing, while not the same as perpetrating the error, runs a close second and can attach a degree responsibility for the acts of others on the one choosing to ignore such acts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Any individual, when witnessing wrongdoing first hand, (intentional or otherwise) must act on what he sees quickly IF the actions place himself or others in imminent or direct danger.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Petty little things happen constantly with us and around us. most of them pose no immediate threat to life or limb. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, teach your son to recognize real issues. Make sure he knows he also makes mistakes (which talking in line is- a minor thing) but that he is learning as he matures, how to minimize them. He needs to know that while he wasn't breaking any rules during that event, what if he was? How would he would have liked it to be handled? While he's thinking of the right answers, you can explain that this is why the kids at school aren't supposed to discipline each other, and that the teacher is best equipped to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The term 'tolerance' is overused today. We tend to tolerate the wrong things - many of which are harmful, yet we turn around and pick on small human imperfections - because there are no societal implications involved with doing so in such cases.&#xA;Tolerance is specifically well suited to putting up with the minor imperfections of others, which I think applies here perfectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son had the right to choose to react or not, and if so how. If your child really couldn't put up with such a small thing - the likes of which happen in schools regularly - he needs to be taught how to do so. He needs to have realistic expectations of self and others, or he will grow up thinking he is superior - and may be harmed for the rest of his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our children need to know that these are important decisions, which will, later in life separate them from the Enron perpetrators and socially awkward people in society. Often these behaviors start with small amounts of off-course thinking which is permitted to continue and grow. the memories of how our parents handled small situations set us up to justify our misguided actions for the rest of our adult lives. (Before disagreeing, think honestly and deeply of your own experiences and you are sure to find a few instances of your own.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;so, unless your child sees someone about to do real harm to someone, he's probably better off learning to be quiet and pay attention to how well he's following the rules. You want to be sure his motivation at such times is to help others, rather than to build himself up. There are numerous reasons he might do the latter, that's up to you as the parent to discern and correct if needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, your own values come into play with how you respond, but you should double-check yourself to be sure your family pride and emotions are not influencing your response. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you done the exercise where you play out all the possible scenarios with him? What if you did this, what might they do, what might the teacher have done, how would you have felt, they have felt, etc. - from the perspectives of all those involved, including the view and feeling of whoever it is you teach your child to supplicate in times of need. better yet, have you done so yourself? Our children need to make this a regular practice in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son may have made a better decision that day. Teach him these principles and he'll have a better chance of learning to make better decisions in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6608" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T16:45:33.733" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11105" CreationDate="2014-01-18T16:46:13.847" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You aren't going to win this one. They're energetic kids, and they're going to keep on running where they shouldn't when they're all wound up. You'd have to get VERY heavy-handed to have any hope, and there comes a point when the punishment is worse than the crime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They might even fall now and then. It does happen, and it's very rare that you'd get really hurt from falling on the stairs at that age, especially going up. As a parent, it's really easy to imagine the worst case scenario, but sometimes you just need to step back and realize that the benefits of letting your kid do some of these low-risk things outweigh the risks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6607" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T16:46:13.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6533" CreationDate="2014-01-18T17:08:16.637" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Eight is way too old to regularly be throwing tantrums. The fact that it goes beyond his dealings with you, but at school, etc. is particularly concerning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he very sensitive overall? Is he good at expressing his feelings rationally? If he is angry at someone, is he prone to going off on them or physically attacking them? If he's really happy, can he contain himself? All kids can benefit from learning to rationally thing and talk about their feelings, but especially very sensitive kids can. If it's a containment problem overall, double your effort in talking about feelings, talking about what you do with them, etc. A therapist might help no matter what.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two directly-contrasting approaches jump out:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he might be chafing some, considering thrusting more responsibility on him. A lot of people rise to the occasion when they are trusted. This is risky, because you need to give him real trust that he can really misuse if you go with it. It's the best path to take if you are seeing hints that he's chafing under the restrictiveness of life.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain to him that if he's going to act like a little kid, you'll have to treat him like one, and treat him more like his little brother than his big brother. (Be careful not to instill undue shame.) After some of this treatment, he might be begging you to show you he's a big boy and act like it. Otherwise, it might turn out he really needs this for a while and he can transition back as he grows up. This only works if he can help himself, and you need to be sure what he lacks is resolve.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you don't mention if he has any outlets: scouts, martial arts, team sports, clubs, etc. Sometimes these teach focus and maturity in ways that family and school can't, and also motivate kids to have something to behave for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, and this is a mistake I've seen parents make: do what you can to avert meltdowns. Some parents, often for fairness's sake, won't give kids the extra help they need. That's foolish and doesn't help anyone. If you can see it coming and can stop it, you're helping him, his brothers, and yourself. You may by doing so teach him to recognize in advance when he's about to lose it and help him to remember what it feels like to de-escalate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6607" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T17:08:16.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10523" CreationDate="2014-01-18T17:18:26.087" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer largely depends on your daughter. How do you think she'd react?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Full honesty is fine, and the approach my spouse and I took. At times my kids held it over my head a bit, but they knew us better for it  and it worked out well for us. I think it might have helped them get a good idea of how the world worked and not to make bad assumptions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main big fear with honesty is that they'll follow in your footsteps. I just don't buy it. Some kids might tell themselves, &quot;Mom did this so why can't I?&quot;, but this is just a rationalization. The kid could come up with one of a hundred others if they didn't have that one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of hiding and even lying is also fine. It's not going to hurt anything to polish it up a bit. If it's a big lie, just understand what that means about what you think of your kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6607" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T17:18:26.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10469" CreationDate="2014-01-18T17:25:52.067" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This varies dramatically from kid to kid. Some discover it as toddlers and never forget, others not until well into their teens. Because the libido spikes around puberty, this is the most common time to start regular masturbation (usually as a tween), especially for boys. A lot of young women don't start masturbating regularly until a bit later due to a variety of social and physical reasons, but many/most are around this same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, varies dramatically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately, as parents, our childrens' masturbation should affect our lives about the same amount our masturbation affects theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6607" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T17:25:52.067" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9273" CreationDate="2014-01-18T17:37:41.167" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I winced before clicking and was extremely relieved to learn that the problem is sartorial, not sexual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to let your son know that it's none of his darn business what clothes his sister wears. Call him on his hypocrisy and emphasize that he doesn't get to control his sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different households have different standards of modesty. If your son was clearly a very shy, modest boy I'd consider suggesting adjusting yours for the time being, but it sounds like he's not so shy and is just a bit bossy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6607" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T17:37:41.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11127" CreationDate="2014-01-18T17:41:56.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you talked to your daughter about it? Do you understand why she's allowing it? It's a bit weird.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's insistent, that's that. This is odd enough, I can't imagine anyone being surprised to be asked what's going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6607" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T17:41:56.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11163" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11166" CreationDate="2014-01-18T17:53:07.110" Score="13" ViewCount="6613" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is going to be leaving her job shortly to stay at home with our two children (2.5 and 10 months), which of course is a really big step.  She's a Ph.d. in immunology, and is a very gifted researcher; so she plans to spend a lot of time searching for fun activities and strategies for working with our children to keep them active and learning while having fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we're both relatively asocial people who do very little with others outside of the workplace (or school).  We don't go to parties or have nights out with other people, and don't really even know our neighbors very well (they're all very nice, but we're just not chatty people).  We're naturally worried about our childrens' social development as it is; our 2.5 year old, who's been in daycare since he was 4 months old, is not exactly a loner but certainly tends to play on his own more than the other kids, and doesn't talk to other kids very much.  We live in the suburbs of a major city, so we have a lot of events we can potentially attend (story times and such), but the one time we tried story time, the then-2 year old did not enjoy it at all (although of course we're going to try again).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some strategies for not-very-social people can take to ensure their children receive a sufficient education in the social side of things?  How can we help them (particularly the 2.5 year old) start to make friends in our area?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T16:52:05.453" Title="Socialization strategies for a new stay-at-home Mom" Tags="|toddler|infant|socialization|stay-at-home|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-18T18:00:45.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the teacher makes a habit of using name calling with your child, I'd be concerned.  If this is a one-time thing, use it as a learning experience .... your child is going to get a lot worse in the future and being humiliated for more than a few minutes over an offhand, slightly rude remark is not healthy. By escalating this into something that involves a discussion with the teacher is counterproductive- your child will get the idea that being embarrassed by offhand, slightly inappropriate remarks by a superior is properly handled by going over the superiors head-- a strategy that will serve him poorly in life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6610" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T18:00:45.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11165" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11168" CreationDate="2014-01-18T18:07:59.870" Score="6" ViewCount="23344" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-year-old is a great sleeper. It can take him a while to get to sleep after we put him to bed (what with all the singing and bear conversations that go on after we've left the room), but he will often sleep until eight o'clock in the morning: eleven or twelve hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only minor issue with letting him sleep is that it interferes with naps: come nap time, he's not tired, so we often just power through the day and have him fall sleep really quickly in the evening. We're at the point now where letting him sleep longer and skip his nap is fine for everyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But this week, he's sick with a cough and cold. It's ten o'clock in the morning, and he's been in bed for more than fourteen hours. I know they say to never wake a sleeping baby, and he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; sick, so my inclination is to let him sleep as much as he wants — but is there any good reason to wake him up and not let him sleep the day away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6294" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-19T00:04:25.713" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T15:12:24.693" Title="Should I let my toddler sleep late when he is ill?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11163" CreationDate="2014-01-18T18:14:35.847" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The following portions of this answer are aimed at helping mom get some social time too(this helps to set a good example, plus even homebody's such as myself need time away from time to time anyway):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try determining a night or two each month for her to endeavor in an area she would like to &quot;try.&quot;  She has her career in hand, but has there ever been a hobby she'd like to try but never got around to? or an avocation she'd love to take a class about?  Maybe she'd like a book club.  This kind of activity will get her out of the house and away from the tedium of small children (something everyone needs) &lt;strong&gt;AND&lt;/strong&gt; might offer her the opportunity to meet some new people with similar interests (she'd have to get out of her comfort zone and introduce herself and chat a little for this second advantage though).  For these kinds of activities, the local library and community college or university are good places to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along the same lines, if she is athletic, the YMCA or parks and recreation organization in you area msy offer adult team-sport leagues she could become involved in.  Of course, there are also various &quot;club sports&quot; in different locales.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Now for ideas that might help mom and kids&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many mother's join &quot;mom's groups&quot; or &quot;play groups&quot; and meet once a month with other stay-at-home mom's.  Its a chance for all the kids to interact and the mom's to network and socialize with other mom's.  A site like mommeetmom.com or meetup.com (&lt;a href=&quot;http://moms-looking-for-mom-friends.meetup.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;specifically here&lt;/a&gt;) might be helpful if that looks interesting to your wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;mommy and me&quot; classes are a good way to meet other moms and their kids (and create some early kid socialization and friendships with moms of kids of the same age as yours - this might lead to cool friendships for the kids later on).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is there a place she and the toddler can take a class while the baby is cared for that would be of interest to them both?  Again, athletic activities like swimming are offered at the YMCA.  Some private schools also have such programs in the after-school hours as additional income for the school and I've known of boutique baby stores that offer such classes at the store site as well - a simple search online for your area should yield something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ideas for the Kids:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get the kids involved (as soon as they are old enough) in interest-area classes at least once/week.  Parks and Rec in our area offers some crafts lessons, but of course there are ballet and tap classes, various sports to try, and any number of other kinds of activities - again depending on the specifics of your location.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throughout the summers our library offers far more than storytime with puppet theaters and magicians coming in once/week for special summer programs - Even Home Depot offers occasional classes for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, at age 2 and younger, most kids really only engage in parallel play anyway so specific socialization with other kids of the same age doesn't begin in earnest for kids until about age three or four when they begin to develop the ability to &quot;pretend&quot; and starting actually playing with, instead of next to, others.  For this reason, I encourage you not to stress over the matter too much, but keep it mind and also know that any outing (even to the grocery store) as well as moments they have about learning &quot;manners&quot; interacting with you and other family members and especially in relation to relating to and empathizing with one another are also moments when they are learning social skills.  Especially as they move into ages three and four, the more you can sit down together to eat dinner together, the better off they will be even if it is just the four of you in terms of many social skills and in building a conversive relationship with you - the most important people in their socialization - mom and dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-25T16:52:05.453" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T16:52:05.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11165" CreationDate="2014-01-18T19:53:25.443" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of mine gave up naps at around 18 months old. This is earlier than most people I know, but that transition comes to them all eventually. You can resist it for a while, but not indefinitely. When it happens, they seem to extend their main sleep by an hour or two, and for the first couple of weeks they'll act a little ratty in the afternoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly while he's sick, I'd be inclined to let him sleep as much as he likes. I'm sick; I'd bloody love a fourteen hour sleep; chance would be a fine thing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T19:53:25.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11165" CreationDate="2014-01-18T19:57:06.830" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's usually best to go with the flow, rather than trying to be strategic to make what doesn't come natural when it comes to these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I was in your shoes, I'd let him keep sleeping. If &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; was sick and you woke me up for no good reason, I wouldn't be particularly happy--would you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope he feels better soon!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6607" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T19:57:06.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11074" CreationDate="2014-01-18T22:03:44.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, your child's behavior is perfectly sound... 95% of the time going to bed on time is great. Doesn't it happen to everyone, that every now and then, we go to sleep somewhat later than the usual?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point being - &lt;strong&gt;your limits are well respected by your child&lt;/strong&gt; (and you can be proud of it). As @Ossum'sMom mentioned, the child certainly doesn't do it out of bad intentions, neither tries to get some reward for that behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I definitely reject timeouts, or any other sort of punishment, for this kind of behavior. Your child &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; respect your limits. You say for yourself that it might happen because he's too tired. In such a condition, he won't be able to understand why do you punish him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell you what, it's actually the other way around. Because of the unstable condition of the child when he's overtired, &lt;strong&gt;this is when your affection is needed most&lt;/strong&gt;. Moreover, it's a chance for your relationship to get stronger since you're there for him when needed most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, Take a deep breath, knowing this time you should give the child an extra mile. Read with him another book, run and jump around with him without hard feelings - be happy with him. It's OK! His feelings should go: &quot;hey! my parent understands me&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; you suspect it becomes a habit (which you consider not desirable) - you should handle it otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just another thought, sometimes the child might be in tension since he knows your expectation of him to go to sleep, of which he knows he's currently incapable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6615" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T22:03:44.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-18T22:18:25.887" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that the matter should be forgotten, if we keep looking back at the past we get worried. In my more helpful matter you should address  the teacher as what your son calls him. For example 'Mrs Hollows.' &#xA;Besides, we can't change the past. However, I do agree that teacher was really unfair and humiliating. Perhaps it would help for your son to stay away from that teacher.&#xA;My teacher has humiliated lots of children who were in my class but we found forgetting it very easy, no matter how humiliating it was at the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6618" LastActivityDate="2014-01-18T22:18:25.887" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11171" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11175" CreationDate="2014-01-19T00:16:03.813" Score="4" ViewCount="1758" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of kids recently moved into the neighborhood and they are great kids that my daughter is having a really good time with.  Rules at their house are pretty lax - they can go all over the neighborhood (as far as three blocks) on their bikes and even visit other houses while mom doesn't actually know where they are at.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am absolutely comfortable with having them at my house and with my daughter bicycling with these kids when I am in earshot, but as we are in a neighborhood where there have been wild dog attacks not too far away, I prefer that my daughter stay in view of the house and that she report to me whenever changing households (going inside) just so I know which house she is visiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My inclination is to do what I can to encourage the kids to play at our place and insist my safety rules be followed even if she does visit the other's houses.  When she is visiting elsewhere though, &lt;strong&gt;how do I politely&lt;/strong&gt; (to the other parents, I don't really care about being polite on this front with my daughter) &lt;strong&gt;insist on things like checking in with me say - before lunchtime, at 2:30ish and before dinner or before switching houses as well as staying within view of my house&lt;/strong&gt; - there is also a third friend they all like to go &quot;visit.&quot; (both parents live within a few blocks from here, but are separated so the other kids go back and forth quite a bit - all houses in question are in view of each-other except the father's house.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A part of this question is also, how reasonable is it for me to expect my seven year old to be able to express what my rules are for her, remember them and follow them?  The kids are all six, seven and eight (two eight year olds), mine is currently seven.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the past, she hasn't been allowed to be on her own - usually I'm working on the garden, or in the garage (with the door open) and at least hearing things if not seeing them. I get concerned when things suddenly become quiet (which is why I insist she tell me before going inside to any of the other houses). However, she is starting to want to go visit the others at other times too (when I am inside) so I'm trying to figure out where to draw the line (the dog thing is truly of concern to me - a woman was killed here not long ago, I keep mace near always etc etc. but is not of concern to the other parents)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-20T04:05:06.223" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T12:46:40.517" Title="The rules at a friend's house are a lot more lax than at mine - how do I enforce basic safety?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|independence|friends|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11171" CreationDate="2014-01-19T01:02:34.850" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seems to me that it mostly should be up to your daughter to follow these rules on her own, if she can.  Unless one of the other parents is explicitly tasked with watching the group (as opposed to all of you watching sporadically from indoors), it doesn't sound like you're really &quot;passing the baton&quot; so to speak.  Keeping in view of your house is certainly something that she should be able to remember to do (most of the time), as well as periodic check-ins.  If she's mature enough to be playing on her own outside, seems to me she should be able to remember to check in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the other parents go, since your rules are not particularly cumbersome, it seems like it should be a fairly easy conversation.  &quot;Could you remind my daughter to check in with me if she comes over, or if the girls are heading over to  house?&quot; seems like a pretty reasonable request, and something another parent should understand.  You're not placing expectations on them to monitor or limit their children, after all, nor criticizing their parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T01:02:34.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11171" CreationDate="2014-01-19T03:51:54.173" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your rules are not too difficult for a 7-year-old to remember and follow on her own.  When I was that age, I was allowed to go visit my friend who lived down the road, but my mom's rules were explicit.  You have permission to go to X person's house.  You are NOT to be anywhere else and you are to be home by X time.  If I find out otherwise, you are in serious trouble and it will be a long time before you are allowed to visit X on your own again.  Comparatively, your rules are lax (I would never have been allowed to leave X's house and walk to Y's house even if I called to tell my mom I was going there first!).  Just from what you've posted about Alice, she seems more than capable of handling this kind of thing on her own as long as she has the right tools to do so and you've made your expectations clear, and this is an excellent growth and development opportunity for her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your expectations are for her to check in with you on a regular basis, I think you need to define what is ok as far as checking in goes.  Is a phone call acceptable or does she need to make a physical appearance?  Otherwise, break it up:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Before she moves from one house to another, she must ALWAYS check in with you.  Period.  No questions asked.  If that is what makes you comfortable, then that should be the rule.  If she violates it then you will deal with the situation accordingly.  You have a perfectly logical reason for your expectations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you expect her to check in on a regular basis, like if she's playing with her friends for most of the afternoon, I would remind her at her previous check-in.  So, when she leaves the house for the first time in the morning (say, 1030 or so), tell her that you expect her to check in at noon.  Then when she checks in at noon tell her that you expect to hear from her again at 230 or something.  If she has a cell phone or something that she carries with her, she might need to set an alarm so she remembers.  Kids get busy playing and won't pay attention to the time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about explaining anything to the other parents.  If Alice knows the rules, then the other parents don't necessarily &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to be involved.  If you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to explain your rules to the others, there's no reason why you shouldn't and it might be nice to know they'd help remind her if she comes over to play, but I guess I was always raised with the expectation that if I was mature enough to visit a friend's house on my own, then I better be mature enough to check in when my mom told me to whether an adult reminded me or not.  If a phone call is acceptable but she doesn't have a cell phone, the other parents might appreciate knowing that she'll need to use their phone from time to time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you choose to address the situation with the other parents, I'd simply say, &quot;Alice knows she needs to check in with me from time to time.  I'd appreciate it if you'd make sure she checks in like she's supposed to.&quot;  If they ask questions, just answer simply.  &lt;strong&gt;BUT&lt;/strong&gt; if you expect Alice to check in multiple times during a play session, I would not make that their responsibility.  Give her the tools to keep track of the time on her own (a watch with an alarm, a cell phone, even an ipod) and expect her to be responsible enough to check in with you at appropriate times.  Parents are parents and I think we all understand that every parent loves their child(ren) as much as we love our own children.  We all want our kids to be safe, and most parents I know understand that we all kind of go about keeping our kids safe in different ways.  They might go about it differently, but I can't imagine them taking issue with your request, and there is no reason why they shouldn't be able to let Alice use their phone to call you or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T03:51:54.173" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11176" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-19T04:19:30.663" Score="4" ViewCount="4961" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest is in kindergarten this year, and in our public schools here in the US stick-and-ball (ie. traditional manuscript) is the primary form of handwriting that is initially taught.  More and more, cursive handwriting is being dropped from the curricula altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no issue with traditional manuscript handwriting, but it is cumbersome and somewhat time-consuming.  I'd like to work with Andrew on cursive handwriting over the summer.  Once he gets it, I think he will be able to write more quickly and more fluidly--right now he gets a little frustrated with traditional manuscript because he can't express his ideas on paper as quickly as they come to his head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Andrew, however, is definitely a lefty.  Occasionally he will write with his right hand because his left hand gets tired, and his handwriting with his right hand is almost as good as his handwriting with his left hand.  But his preference is obviously his left hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I should know about how to teach cursive to a lefty so we aren't both frustrated and screaming at each other or is it basically the same as teaching a righty?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:  I would like to clarify:  There is no issue with the school or his teacher. &lt;em&gt;Most&lt;/em&gt; of his handwriting practice is here at home.  His teacher does not currently &quot;grade&quot; his papers for neatness when it comes to handwriting mechanics.  She is more concerned with whether or not his handwriting is legible.  I don't care how he forms his letters as long as an &quot;e&quot; looks like an &quot;e&quot;, an &quot;x&quot; looks like an &quot;x&quot; and so on.  Even as a righty, I don't hold my pencil correctly or form my letters in a textbook fashion.  I don't expect him to, either.  The only time I make him re-form a letter is if it is extremely messy or if he has written the wrong letter (a b instead of a d, for example), and he is now getting to the point where he self-edits his own handwriting pretty well.  The decision to teach him cursive is 100% my own and I really don't care if the school likes it or not.  Manuscript handwriting is simply more time-consuming from a logical standpoint--you pick your pencil up after every letter and sometimes more than that.  Almost all cursive letters are one continuous motion and even if you only connect two letters together at a time, you're cutting down on the amount of time it takes to write a word.  I think, for him, this would help him feel more productive and enable him to complete his schoolwork in a more timely manner.  Additionally, if I don't teach him cursive he most definitely will not learn it at school because it is no longer being taught.  This is not a school issue.  This is 100% me seeking advice on how best to teach my son cursive so that he can be successful at it.  It has nothing to do with learning modalities or preferences, his own innate skills, or whether I should encourage his ambidextrous nature (which I do).  I am specifically looking for resources (websites, handwriting curricula, etc.) that deal with the pitfalls people teaching lefties to write left-handed encounter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2014-01-20T03:14:32.167" LastActivityDate="2014-11-17T06:37:20.127" Title="Cursive Handwriting for Lefties" Tags="|primary-schooler|education|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11176" CreationDate="2014-01-19T05:36:11.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The issues he is likely to face are mostly physical. In a standard setup lefties end up pushing the pen which can get tiring, make it harder to write and can lead to awkward hand position/holds which can cause cramping etc. This will become exaggerated with cursive since the pen is in contact with the page for longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way I know to deal with these is to turn the paper clockwise to the two o'clock position (something short of 45&amp;deg;) so that he will be pulling the pen rather than pushing it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well as being easier on the hands it will also stop him dragging the side of his hand over what he has just written, preventing smudging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3270" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T05:36:11.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11176" CreationDate="2014-01-19T14:45:53.977" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The issues with left-handed writing can be organised in 3 categories:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Posture&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Physics (pulling versus pushing)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Miscellaneous&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Posture&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://handedness.org/action/leftwrite.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;handedness.org/action/leftwrite.html&lt;/a&gt; explains the posture quite well. As a left-hander, I was never taught this and as a result I kept changing my posture for most of my life (with the obvious negative effect on the quality of my writing). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The variety of left-handed writing is demonstrated quite well on &lt;a href=&quot;http://musanim.com/mam/lefthand.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;musanim.com/mam/lefthand.htm&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://nibs.com/Left-hand%20writers.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;nibs.com/Left-hand%20writers.htm&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Creating a stable writing style for a left-handed person starts by mirroring the posture, page orientation and pencil grip of the right-handers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Physics&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, we would mirror the physics of right-handed writing too, but this would result in left-handed people writing right-to-left: mirror writing. As a consequence of writing left-to-right, left-handed people will (A) push much more than they will pull; and (B) use more radial abduction than ulnar adduction. &lt;strong&gt;This means we have to be more careful about our writing instruments than right-handed people.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a kid, I was given the option of getting a left-handed fountain pen, but since I already felt awkward in a society dominated by right-handers and not knowing the difference between those fountain pens, I decided to feel normal and chose the right-handed fountain pen. That was a mistake. The increased pulling action changed the amount of ink the fountain pen released, making the problem of smudging even worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also consistently received poorer grades because of the smudges (which I didn't know how to prevent) and the non-traditional shapes of my letters. I basically was punished for being left-handed and not knowing how to write beautiful. Unfortunately, I'm not the only one as &lt;a href=&quot;http://anythinglefthanded.co.uk/children/teaching/writing.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;anythinglefthanded.co.uk/children/teaching/writing.html&lt;/a&gt; suggests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was when I became fed up with it all and switched to ballpoint pens (despite that the school didn't allow it) that my writing improved: almost no smudging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Miscellaneous&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole point about cursive handwriting is that the pen never leaves the paper. This makes sense for right-handed people. However, since left-handed people mirror the posture but cannot mirror the physics, we actually have a very different cost-benefit analysis. &lt;strong&gt;For a left-handed person, taking the pen off the paper is much more beneficial than keeping the pen on the paper and push it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So why should we write in cursive? Maybe we want to demonstrate to the world we can write beautifully, or maybe we just want to prove to ourself that we can write beautifully. As a left-handed person there comes a point in your life when you start to feel proud about the fact that you're left-handed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that we don't really have a left-handed style of writing which means every left-hander invents his/her own. As &lt;a href=&quot;http://iampeth.com/lefties_01.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;iampeth.com/lefties_01.php&lt;/a&gt; explains in its section about letter formation, left-handers form their letter differently. &lt;strong&gt;We draw the crossbars on our letters in right-to-left direction&lt;/strong&gt; because the pulling action is easier than the pushing action. I personally draw the number '5' in a similar way as I draw the letter 's': in one stroke, just more angular. I draw the letter 'x' in cursive also in one stroke, because it's easier to leave the pen on the paper and pull the pen to a new position, then to take the pen of the paper. And so on...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarise, don't correct a left-handed person on the way he forms his letters (unless it's something like drawing the crossbar from right-to-left) and only correct on the end-result (but ignore the slant of the letters).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6625" LastEditorUserId="6625" LastEditDate="2014-01-20T16:20:24.280" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T16:20:24.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9334" CreationDate="2014-01-19T15:01:35.173" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any 'cold' that doesn't clear up in a short time usually means an allergic reaction to something..Go to your doctor and ask for a referral to an allergy specialist For peace of mind for you, the parent,write down clearly, what your child presents with and when and the frequency..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6627" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T15:01:35.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11171" CreationDate="2014-01-19T16:06:28.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly: politely requesting help and a oiding misunderstanding with other parents.  Your request is totally reasonable, but sometimes people are hyperaware where children are concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One approach is to tell the other parents how happy you are that the children are friends. Then say that you're trying to get your child to follow some rules which are X, Y, Z but that the child might be a bit forgetful and that you'd be really grateful if the parent could help remind the child if she forgets. Then finish up with some more happy positive stuff about how great their kids are.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By requesting help for your own child you are focussing on what is important to you - your child's safety, and not on things that could cause distracting discussion or argument - the other parents lack of rules. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By sandwiching the request in two positive bits of feedback you further avoid the potential for misunderstanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allowing growing children to have more freedom is scary.  I think that setting some rules early helps the child learn that you knowing where they are is not punitive or preventative. You are not trying to recuce the child's freedom. You are in fact helping the child develop sensible boundaries.  With luck this will hold into the teenage years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2014-01-19T16:23:32.723" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T16:23:32.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11176" CreationDate="2014-01-19T17:12:08.203" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find three major differences between my left-handed writing and that of a right-hander.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In pushing the pen or pencil across the page rather than pulling it,&#xA;a sharp instrument can dig into the paper, especially cheap newsprint&#xA;paper, or with a fountain pen because so much more ink flows onto and&#xA;into the paper. Get good paper. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In pushing the pen or pencil across the page rather than pulling it,&#xA;the hand holding the pencil would hide the line of text I'm writing were I to hold pencil and paper as a right-hander does. This is why most lefties tilt the paper or bend the wrist in a way that appears awkward to righties. It moves the left hand out of the way so we can see what we're doing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In pushing the pen or pencil across the page rather than pulling it,&#xA;the left arm drags across the fresh text, smearing ink or pencil in a&#xA;way right-handers don't experience, and right-handed teachers may not&#xA;understand. If your child gets dinged for sloppy handwriting, you&#xA;might have to explain to the teacher why this is the case. They may&#xA;try to teach the child to write &quot;correctly&quot; like a right-hander&#xA;should. If they do, you will have to teach explain why this is&#xA;inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't do cursive. I takes longer and looks horrible. The combination of pushing the tool and bending the wrist make a flowing motion too much trouble for no reward. I was lucky enough to take a drafting class in seventh grade, and I learned to write in a neat block alphabet that I've used for forty years, twenty-eight of them as a middle school teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T17:12:08.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11176" CreationDate="2014-01-19T18:01:14.657" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Number one: do not &quot;hook&quot; the hand the way right handed people do. A left handed person can easily hold their hand below the ink and will not smear it. If need be, turn the paper a little. You can see an amazing collection of hand positions at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nibs.com/Left-hand%20writers.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a fountain pen site&lt;/a&gt; I have no affiliation with. Teaching an underwriting style is generally better in terms of ink smearing, so teach it while the child is still using pencils.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Number two, while you can certainly offer to teach mechanics, if the child uses different mechanics to get the job done, don't worry about it. (For example, whether the &quot;ball&quot; part of a letter is drawn clockwise or anticlockwise.) Many teachers seem to have forgotten that the correction was to be something like &quot;If you do it in this direction, things will flow more smoothly when you are writing several letters in a row&quot; and instead say &quot;that is not an e, do it over in the correct direction&quot;. This is disheartening and if at all possible, get the teacher to stop. If you can't, tell your child later in private that the teacher is wrong, and that the window of time in which anyone watches the mechanics of you making marks on paper is very small. After that window all that matters is what is on the paper. My handwriting is beautiful, and I take quick notes in a combination of printing and cursive as fast as I can speak, almost as fast as I can think, and it's perfectly readable later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Number three, encourage the child to mouse with the right hand. It's wonderful to be able to mouse with one hand and write with the other - I feel sorry for those who have to put down the pen to pick up the mouse or vice versa. It will also let them walk up to any workstation and use it. In the same vein, if the preference for one hand over another is very mild, then learning to knit, sew, throw balls, catch balls, hit balls, and so on as right-handed people do will make getting equipment and lessons much easier in the years to come. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, not related to cursive, many of those who can use the left or right hand for almost anything lack the knowledge of left or right that others have. And tricks like &quot;which of these make a letter L&quot; are pointless if you can read upside down and write mirror writing. &lt;em&gt;They both look like an L, thanks.&lt;/em&gt; If we're facing each other, I might be fuddled over your left and my left, too. Should this be your child, emphasize the benefits of this brain wiring. I can read things on other people's desks (eg the notes an interviewer is taking) and I can read a children's book to someone facing me, with the words right side up for them and upside down for me. I can read signs on see through surfaces from the back, and so on. What's more, when painting, sawing, hammering etc if one hand gets tired I can just use the other for a while. These are all cool capabilities. But if you suddenly yell an instruction at me that requires me to know left and right, I will probably freeze, and if I move there is only a 50-50 chance I will move the in direction you said. I managed not to think this was a shortcoming until well into adulthood (my family de-emphasized sports for other reasons) and I hate to think of a small child feeling bad for not having an ability everyone seems to feel is innate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T18:01:14.657" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11020" CreationDate="2014-01-19T22:06:04.133" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried giving her some &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;gripe water&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;  ? It is an excellent old remedy for colic, better known as wind.&#xA;Sometimes babies have to be patted on the back for over half an hour ,gently to bring up wind because if it doesn't all come up the colic sits like a bubble in their belly and causes pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some babies are blessed with little or none whilst others are different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Believe me it doesn't affect how they grow.&#xA;Do you have Baby Health Clinics where you live ? If so ask the nurse when you take your daughter for a check up...She would be able to advise other solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One or two teaspoons of Gripe Water over a 24 hour period is usually sufficient to fix the problem currently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a extra measure you may find that you have to give her some every second night to help her expel the wind. It is not a medicine that has to be bought on a script. It is available over the counter from most pharmacies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6627" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T22:06:04.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11176" CreationDate="2014-01-19T22:22:27.593" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well Chrys, I can very well relate to you, even later into life  but for the question at hand..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meg Coates... why not try a gentle approach, make the learning fun... and in the meantime go see the school counsellor and discuss your concerns and what you've discovered whilst working  with your son. No counsellor ? Then ask the principal..and don't apologise ! be polite and positive.&#xA;Ask for a  meeting in their office with your son's teacher , yourself and them... virtually 'hash it out',  for surely other parents would have this problem and schools have to adapt, otherwise parents would take their children to another school where the learning is less about rules and more about interaction. &#xA;I hope sincerely that you find a solution because ultimately it is your son who will benefit the most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6627" LastActivityDate="2014-01-19T22:22:27.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11192" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11196" CreationDate="2014-01-20T07:13:59.153" Score="20" ViewCount="1294" Body="&lt;p&gt;On Friday my daughter was hit by a car while crossing the crosswalk to school.  (Side note: she was released from the hospital and appears to be doing OK, but taking her to a Dr for a full eval tomorrow.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, this is obviously very traumatic!  The thing is that she comes to work with me in the morning and hangs out for about 30 minutes before walking the 2 blocks to school (and only one street with a light to cross).  She is 14yo and is reasonably fearful of having to cross that crosswalk again.  Also, I am unable to take time off of work everyday to take her fully to school.  It is a fear she must overcome in time and since she sees a therapist every 2 months (for ADHD, OCD, and a couple of other things I don't recall right now), she'll discuss this with the therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is how do I as a parent (her pseudo-therapist) help her to cope and conquer this fear?  I know it will take time and that there is no substitute for that and the experience of the therapist should prove invaluable, but none of that substitutes for my responsibility as a loving father to help her.  What are your suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be clear, I am not asking for medical, therapeutical, or any other form of professional advice -- only your suggestions as to what a loving parent can and should do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since this is clearly a matter of opinion and we are in a question-answer format, I'll be sure to choose someone whose advice seems most contributive in my subjective decision as the &quot;answer&quot;, though I will value everyone's contribution!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-07-14T08:08:53.300" Title="Coping and overcoming a rational fear" Tags="|teen|fears|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11192" CreationDate="2014-01-20T07:27:13.730" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does she fear crossing the street, or is it panic? Does she do it, but does it carefully and slowly, or does she dread the thought of crossing a street?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is capable of crossing the street on her own, I'd suggest to simply talk to her about being careful being a good thing and that she pays more attention to her surroundings, even if she is crossing the street on a green light or has priority when driving, etc. Being extra careful in such situations is always good. Perhaps this accident will save her life one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she panics and does not cross the street - or you are seriously worried about her - seek professional help. You have a chance of making things worse for her. And logic (&quot;won't you cross a street, ever?&quot;) on your side won't be much of a help. Going to see a professional will also probably ease your mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-01-20T07:45:53.690" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T07:45:53.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11020" CreationDate="2014-01-20T08:34:42.757" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It turns out that she was in the middle of a growth spurt and it (with a bit of overtiredness, she didn't nap too well around that time) seems to have been the cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three days later she mastered grabbing and holding toys and since the feeding problem has gone away on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, thank you for your answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T08:34:42.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11176" CreationDate="2014-01-20T12:07:26.477" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a lefty and the only writing style I was taught is cursive. However I still found writing frustratingly slow and quickly developed an aversion for it. This lead to problems down the line concerning note-taking. The subsequent lack of practice also gave me a horrendous handwriting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing I have found even closely matching the speed I want is typing. But I doubt that your school will let him turn in homework that is not handwritten. You can of course always ask the teachers whether work can be typed out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6635" LastEditorUserId="6635" LastEditDate="2014-01-20T16:56:06.910" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T16:56:06.910" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11192" CreationDate="2014-01-20T13:48:59.387" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;All fears are rational, but the reactions to those fears are more or less extreme.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she expresses fear about the crosswalk you acknowledge her fear. Listen to her.  When you comment you accept her fear as real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her: &quot;Cars were zooming through that crossing today!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You good: &quot;It is annoying isn't it.  They don't realise what it is like for pedestrians&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You not so useful: &quot;sure, but they're on the road and most drivers are careful, right&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've acknowledged her fear she'll probably do the rest.  &quot;I have to take a bt longer to cross the road.  I wish drivers were more considerate. I wish crossings were better.&quot;  You agree, and guide her to better thinking about roads.  (ie they are dangerous, and care needs to be taken, and maybe they could be safer, but they're everywhere so we need to be able to use them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If her fear increases to the point where she is unable to cross that road you can investigate cognitive bhavioural therapy.  These techniques can be used by anyone and this kind of situation should respond well.  There's a free australian website called moodgym that helps apply the techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T13:48:59.387" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2014-01-20T14:32:32.400" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler isn't too fond of eggs either.  One thing we do for him is make french toast since toast is often served when we have eggs for breakfast it really isn't that much extra work to make.  Another thing we do is finely scramble them and add them to his oatmeal.  It sounds weird but you can't taste it at all and the texture is very similar to the oats.  Sometimes I make rice pudding for him or vanilla custard using eggs, milk and sugar and vanilla for a dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my pre-teen was little, he preferred his eggs scrambled or in omelettes.  He'll also eat them hard-boiled now but any other way and he won't eat the yolks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6637" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T14:32:32.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11192" CreationDate="2014-01-20T15:21:14.993" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At about that age I fell from a horse that had been scared by a car. There is a saying that you have to &quot;get back on the horse&quot; and to that end my parents made me ride again immediately, while I was still full of adrenaline and sore (and the horse wasn't in the best mood either.) I was very scared to get back on but since I did not immediately fall off, the fear left me and I continued to ride happily for some years after that. In the same spirit, I know a woman who hosted a full family turkey dinner with the good china etc the day after her mother's funeral - it was not a turkey holiday at all - so that she wouldn't be all &quot;this is the first time I've used this gravy boat since mom died&quot; when the next holiday rolled around. Facing the hard thing and doing it sooner rather than later actually makes it easier to cope with compared to giving the fear time to build up and giving an inanimate object or place power over you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously when a person has to be rushed to hospital you can't stop on the way to cross some streets, but my point is she must cross streets early and often. Cross the same one ten times if need be. With you, then with you there watching, then alone if that's what she needs. You can't take every day off to walk a 14 year old to school from now on, but you can do it one morning for an hour or two, yes? Or after work. If she's very scared you might want to start with a neutral street and work up to the street where she was hit. The only real cure for the fear is going to be doing it and not getting hit. And the longer she waits before she crosses any street, the longer she waits before she crosses that street, the scarier it will be when she finally does it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T15:21:14.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11163" CreationDate="2014-01-20T17:53:11.520" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had great success taking my kids to the local park. As regular visitors to the park, we would see some families repeatedly. I watched for kids who had a similar temperament to my children, and as our kids played together or side-by-side, I would chat with the mother. There was no commitment to make - unlike with a mothers' group - or expense involved. Over time, I made friends that I was comfortable arranging play-dates with, where we would meet up at the kids' museum or a different park or the library storytime or at one another's houses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of these friendships faded over time, as our kids grew and people moved, but they were invaluable at the time. They allowed me adult conversation, and in particular, conversation about parenting questions. The friendships also meant we each had a babysitter in a pinch, or that one of us could run to the restroom without packing up the kids since the other could watch the group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do try story time again - every few months your child is more mature. Also, consider different story times. Most libraries offer multiple programs for different ages and some libraries have programs that either have fewer rules or maybe are a little calmer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T17:53:11.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11192" CreationDate="2014-01-20T18:55:44.757" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dealing with fears or anxieties is all about learning strategies to gain a sense of control over the situation.  For your daughter, her fear of crossing the road is a reasonable one, given her past experience; what she needs are strategies to be safer crossing the road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, beyond the obvious - look both ways, give yourself more time between cars to cross, etc. - she can try a few things to make herself more obvious to drivers.  Wear contrasting clothing (bright orange, at any time of day; white/light colors at night; etc.) to catch the eye of the drivers.  Walk in groups (three people are easier to spot than one).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also might consider volunteering at a hospital.  Her fear of being hit by a car is really a fear of being hurt by the car, after all; for some people, working at a hospital can help that kind of fear because it allows them some sense of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a similar note (sense of control), you and she also might consider writing a letter to the city/town/whatnot asking for more safety features to be installed on the street where she was hit.  What this entails depends on the kind of crossing/street (was this at a streetlight with a car turning - if so, &quot;turning vehicles must yield to pedestrians&quot; or &quot;no right turn on red&quot; might help; or was this a somewhat residential street, in which case perhaps speed bumps, additional speed enforcement, or a crossing guard might help).  This not only makes the crossing actually safer, but it also gives you and her some sense of control, and a sense that something good has come out of this ordeal (making it less likely a more serious injury will occur in the future).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T18:55:44.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11201" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-20T20:25:01.437" Score="10" ViewCount="11831" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5 year old daughter and she has a real struggle to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sit in the middle of her chair&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay there without fidgetting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of #1, she often falls off her chair as she sits on the edge.  Even after constant reminders, etc. it doesn't seem to be getting better and in particular she often falls off her chair given the imbalance and i am afraid she will get hurt.  When i move her into the middle within  a few mins she ends up on the edge as she isn't comfortable.  She constantly wants to stand up or play with her chair and basically struggles to sit still. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She does have some sensory issues so I am guessing this is related but not 100% sure. I sometimes feel like she needs to go back to a booster seat to force her to sit in the middle of the seat and not move but obviously think that seems like a backwards approach given her age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for things to attempt?  From googling I see different types of chairs, etc but not sure if anyone of them actually will make a difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-22T13:22:32.317" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T01:32:56.780" Title="Suggestions for a 5 year old who can't sit still in her chair?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|sensory|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10813" CreationDate="2014-01-20T20:39:04.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds almost like night terrors, rather than difficulty waking up. Could it be that the terrors are triggered by a different sleeping position? (I personally usually get nightmares when I sleep on my back, so I am guessing it is a possibility.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that is the case, then simply avoiding sleeping while sitting up may be the one solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T20:39:04.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11203" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-01-20T21:27:00.417" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sensations are a fundamental part of life and adapting to them by accepting them, understanding them, and adjusting to their impairment or loss can be a challenge for parents to help their children in adapting and accepting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-01-20T23:18:28.963" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T23:18:28.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11204" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-01-20T21:27:00.417" Score="0" Body="touch, taste, sight, smell -- our childrens' senses and how they learn to accept them, work with them, or cope with their impairment/loss" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-01-20T23:18:41.243" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T23:18:41.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11192" CreationDate="2014-01-20T21:46:05.877" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While all fears have a rational basis, our response to them is highly emotional as DanBeale pointed out.  I know that my fear of the dark is ridiculous and I know why I'm afraid of the dark, but that doesn't stop my heart from racing when I'm in a dark place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To an adolescent girl, I would focus on letting her talk through her fears and just listening to her.  There's nothing wrong with encouraging her to think through her fear rationally, but if she feels like you're not listening to her concerns and worries, it could delay her recovery from the experience.  It's not much of a leap in the teenage mind from &quot;my dad wants me to think through my fears rationally&quot; to &quot;my dad is sick of hearing me talk about this and wants me to shut up about it because he doesn't care&quot;.  I know it sounds extreme, but I've sat in enough meetings with teenagers and their parents to know how quickly they can take things to that extreme.  I mean, adolescent girls who &lt;em&gt;haven't&lt;/em&gt; been through such a traumatic experience frequently feel like their parents aren't listening to them.  Voicing her fears is not an excuse to avoid working through the problem, but, for now, she needs to feel safe and protected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a reason why you couldn't call her therapist and reschedule her appointment for sooner rather than later?  This would seem like a situation that would warrant professional help (I don't know...maybe she all ready has an appointment for next week, but if her appointment isn't for another month or so it might be worth checking in to).  Especially if she's all ready being treated for OCD.  Some OCD patients will create rituals when they experience traumatic situations and that could set her treatment back dramatically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, here are some other thoughts that might be somewhat helpful since it's not practical to expect you to walk her to school everyday for the rest of the school year:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she have a friend who could walk to school with her?  Someone in the neighborhood who could ride with you to work then walk the rest of the way with her to school in the morning?  It's not perfect (if her friend is sick from school she's stuck with no one to walk with), but it could provide her with the security she needs to be able to cross the street alone again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As Chrys mentioned, getting back on the proverbial horse is half the battle.  Perhaps visiting the particular corner she's afraid of at a less-busy time of day would make her feel more comfortable.  It might take several visits, but it might help her process her emotions about the incident which probably extend beyond just fear.  Or she might only know that she's afraid, but be unable to pinpoint exactly what she's afraid of (Is she afraid of being hurt again?  Afraid of being out of control of the situation?  Afraid of just crossing the street?).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there an alternate route she can take to school that would allow her to avoid that particular corner for awhile?  It might take her a little longer to get to school, but it might be an option for a little while until she feels more comfortable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want to re-iterate something I have to remind my husband of from time-to-time:  Sometimes women just want to talk without you trying to fix anything.  Sometimes being there and being supportive is the best thing you can do for a little while.  A lot of times if I'm talking about things like that, it's because I'm trying to figure something out about it.  If, after a couple of weeks she's not improving with just you listening, you might very gently tell her, &quot;Sweetie, I love you and I will always be here to listen if you need to talk.  I want to help you work through this so you can feel comfortable crossing streets and parking lots again.  What can I do to help you?&quot;  You don't even have to mention that you won't be around to hold her hand forever because she can fill in the blank on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bless all your hearts!  I cannot imagine getting that kind of phone call about either of my kids.  I'm glad she's physically safe and I'm going to hope she gets through this (relatively) psychologically unscathed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-01-20T21:46:05.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11201" CreationDate="2014-01-20T22:28:12.220" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;She may be sensory seeking. Some kids (my 5yo son) need sensory feedback in order to calm themselves down. If so, the answer is probably to address the sensory needs rather than constrain or negotiated her into the chair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she squirm under other circumstances, such as when concentrating or reading? &#xA;Can she sit still under other circumstances?&#xA;Can she concentrate for extended periods of time?&#xA;Does she show other signs of sensory seeking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: this is was has worked for our son:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was found to have sensory issues by an OT and a psychologist. A developmental pediatrician totally discounted the existence of sensory issues, so keep in mind that it is still a contentious diagnosis. That being said, this followed worked for him:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;exercise. Before he goes to school, he will do 15~20 minutes of exercise targeting heavy lifting, chair push-ups, yoga posses and core body strength work (this was also found lacking). Depending upon his needs, he will do a few minutes in a trampoline. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;top-ups. We try to top up his exercises every couple of hours. A few minutes of exercise keeps him on track.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;chewing gum. This helps his concentration a lot. He teacher allows him to keep his gum while at school. Without it, he just ends up fidgety and starts chewing something else.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;movement. When he needs to move, we let him. So does his teacher. If he is required to sit, then we may do a few frog jumps or chair push-ups to help him settle down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sensory seeking. He will still squirm when concentrating. For example: he may knead me with his toes when doing his readers. That's just what he needs so I let him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After about a year of following this, he has gotten a lot better and does not need anywhere near as much attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T00:26:45.970" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T00:26:45.970" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11207" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-20T22:48:25.747" Score="6" ViewCount="395" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a nanny, working with a 16-month-old girl. Since she was 11 months old she started with some activities, French class and play classes. Now she is really busy, with classes every weekday, each day in a different time (Monday 4 to 4:45pm, Tuesday 10:45 to 11:20, Wednesday 3:30 to 4:15, and so on). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried because there is no way to put her in a routine, she has no right time to wake up in the morning (if her mother has to go to work earlier, she can wake up at 7h, if she wants to sleep a bit more, she will wake the child near 8h), and with her new agenda, she just sleeps when she is too tired. And her parents want to put her in even more activities...  How can I help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6642" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-13T12:09:34.030" LastActivityDate="2019-08-13T12:09:34.030" Title="How to help an overscheduled toddler as a nanny?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|activities|babysitting|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11207" CreationDate="2014-01-21T00:47:23.713" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;While routine may have benefits, the most important thing is to make sure the child gets plenty of sleep. A lot of children who have older siblings end up with no routine because their &quot;schedule&quot; is arranged around those of their older brothers and sisters. My older child had a routine at this age, but when the second one came along, the kids would not always nap at the same time, or the older one might have preschool or a playdate which meant we were out and about and the younger child was along for the ride. Also, if Dad worked late, the kids might stay up a bit late to see him before they went to bed, and then they would sleep late the next morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could speak to the parents about it, but usually parents who hire a nanny prefer the nanny to follow their lead rather than the other way around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help the girl you are caring for then, continue to pay attention to signs of tiredness and make sure she gets the naps she needs. There is probably nothing you can do about when the parents put her to bed and when they wake her up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T00:47:23.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11209" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-01-21T06:11:47.337" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A daycare center is a facility for younger children to receive care and supervision, generally during the daytime hours, though some will provide after-hours services, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For children attending a daycare, this is often their first significant social interaction and exposure to non-parental adult figures.  This new time in a child's life raises many questions and concerns for parents about when it's appropriate to enroll a child, how to help a child adapt to the new environment, and many other areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T12:10:01.410" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T12:10:01.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11210" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-01-21T06:11:47.337" Score="0" Body="Social interactions, subject matter addressed, safety at daycare centers, choosing a daycare center, staff behavior, and other issues related to daycare centers." OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T12:10:08.723" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T12:10:08.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11211" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-01-21T06:20:40.677" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keeping our children hygienic starts from birth and continues through young adulthood.  New parents may have never experienced a need to keep another person hygienic and will have questions about best practices.  As children grow up from the infant stage, teaching them the skills to perform their own hygiene turns into questions of &quot;how&quot;, &quot;when&quot;, and &quot;how to teach and maintain a regimen.&quot;  As children progress into the pre-teen and teenage years, new hygienic tasks are added which will continue through adulthood and many children experience fears, embarrasment, or a general feeling of ineptness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each stage of growth provides new areas for new and experienced parents to seek the advice and wisdom of others to help their child(ren) develop strong lifelong hygeinic habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T12:09:34.160" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T12:09:34.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11212" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-01-21T06:20:40.677" Score="0" Body="Issues of personal cleanliness such as showering/bathing, brushing teeth, finger/toe-nail maintenance, shaving, etc." OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-01-21T12:09:48.770" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T12:09:48.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11207" CreationDate="2014-01-21T06:51:50.463" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, a nanny's task is to &quot;&lt;strong&gt;Help the parents&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;by helping the child(ren)&lt;/em&gt; in the manner by which the parents want to raise the child(ren).&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also make one more presumption: When the parents interviewed you for the position, they expressed some of their desires on how to raise their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being the case and with the information you've exposed in your question, I think it's safe to make some assumptions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These parents clearly care about their child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These parents clearly care about their child's development and success&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I definitely can't assume is if you are aware of their frustrations (we don't always share those upfront).  Perhaps the mother feels like she works too much and can't -- as much as she wants to -- establish a complete schedule for her child.  In this area, could you help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on what you've written, it may behoove you to sit down with the parents and ask what else they would like for their daughter.  Ask what they would like to see for her and wish they had more time or opportunity for.  By getting them to tell you what they want, you may be able to find that what &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt;'re hoping for is the same thing &lt;strong&gt;they&lt;/strong&gt; are hoping for and then you will have an opportunity to offer assistance.  Having such a chatty conversation may also allow you to drop in informational comments about regularity of schedule or any other things you see can best help the child.  Since they love their daughter and clearly want the best for her, they very well may adopt the idea -- and, an idea we feel is our own is one we feel we own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the parents &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; that you are helping them in helping their child in the way they want their child to be raised, then they will feel that you are truly fulfilling the role they hoped for, even if it wasn't the role they were able to best-express initially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T06:51:50.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11163" CreationDate="2014-01-21T12:38:53.777" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the extremely asocial mom of the most socially capable ten year old in town, I will expand on one particular part of what balanced mama said:  &lt;strong&gt;join a local playgroup&lt;/strong&gt;, preferably one that meets once a week.  See if your town has a &lt;strong&gt;family association&lt;/strong&gt; that sponsors one; ask at the library; ask moms you see at the playground.  Having a once a week play date already arranged cuts down on the stress of trying to set them up yourself (unless you won't take it personally when you end up waiting days for a call back/email response that never comes because the other parent was too swamped to get to it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents at playgroups are the source of valuable information on local pre-schools, town-sponsored sports and activities, and local art/dance/music studios with classes for children of various ages.  And having your kid familiar with the kids they will meet in pre-school and kindergarten takes the anxiety out of these new situations, enabling them to be confident from the beginning, just as starting them in swimming and soccer at the starting age (in our town it was four) lets them be confident in these situations earlier.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But do pay attention to your how kid socializes; as balanced mama said, at this age parallel play is the rule, but as they get older they begin to differentiate.  Some will naturally jump in, others will hang out on the sidelines and watch until they are comfortable.  The latter may be not truly bloom until you start setting up one-on-ones with the playgroup kids he seems most interested in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea, one no one has mentioned, is &lt;strong&gt;find the local soccer fields&lt;/strong&gt;.  As a part-time working mom I would take my kid to the local playground on Saturdays and wonder why there were no kids there.  It wasn't until she started soccer and I noticed all the different aged kids racing around on the sidelines that I realized they were all being dragged along to their older siblings' games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2014-01-22T00:32:01.057" LastActivityDate="2014-01-22T00:32:01.057" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11025" CreationDate="2014-01-21T19:42:51.633" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went thru the something with my parents. It did started when my son was 3. He is 6 now. And now he knows Dad is the boss. Not because I lay down my authority but because he knows that no one will love him like I do. Just keep her safe and love her. She knows you are her MOM! Nobody will take that away from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When ONE is little, ONE always seeks for safety. So dont get caught up into the &quot;do this &amp;amp; dont do that&quot;. It is just to-ma-o or to-ma-toe. She wont even remember. I mean I stated remembering when I was in 5th grade. I do remember if I was safe and who provided a safe heaven for me. So just TEACH what you know about love. Help her to learn school stuff. Have lots and lots of patience. Welcome to the parenthood club.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See if your parents have good intentions. When they dont, tell them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6067" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T19:42:51.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1866" CreationDate="2014-01-21T21:17:37.027" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put Cheerios on the back of the toilet.&#xA;When my son had to pee he would throw a handful  in the toilet and pee on them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6650" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T21:17:37.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11132" CreationDate="2014-01-21T22:40:34.220" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's so hard to know where to begin, because the account is so sketchy (and has passed through both a child and a 3rd party before getting to us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's impossible to know from the original post whether or not this child is a &lt;em&gt;constant&lt;/em&gt; busybody and thorn in the teacher's side. I know kids like that, and they're insufferable. The teacher may have been rude, and without excusing it (assuming the language the kid reported is fully accurate to begin with), let's just say that it's easy to imagine it came from a place of exasperation rather than malice. Is the teacher habitually demeaning to students, or is the teacher good overall and this is more likely some combination of misunderstanding, misreporting, and just a bad day on the teacher's part?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as &quot;those censored people who look the other way&quot; -- it's an important social skill to learn to distinguish between issues of justice or safety that can't be overlooked, versus injecting yourself into every little perceived minor infraction and causing more of a disruption by doing so than if you'd let it slide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2014-01-21T22:40:34.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11163" CreationDate="2014-01-22T08:13:11.443" Score="1" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Play dates and church activities are one way to go. Both parents and children get to mix and play dates are good if you'll aren't very social in groups.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Enrolling them in a regular activity like sports or drama or a craft class might be a good idea too and fun for your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Organizing a carpool would also be useful. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally when you have kids its easy to make friends. You find one set of parents that you're comfortable with and they will introduce you to loads more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2014-01-22T08:13:11.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11207" CreationDate="2014-01-22T17:23:29.990" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sleep and Naps are very important. That is how we retain informaion - all the information they are giving her. How much it depends on the child. Since you are the nanny that is the report you give back to the parents. Is she tired, does she need more naps, more sleep time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the teaching, two things:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;1) As long as the kid cooperates I see no harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) A person must TEACH the kid.&#xA;There is really no sense of learning if you just put a child in front of a TV or Ipad to learn. This is what you call self-learning and not a class. If this is happening dont worry the kid will grab what she wants. Babies and Kids love to learn from people - to imitate. If this is happening just keep an eye on her safety and if she really wants to learn from that teacher. If not report and replace the teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6067" LastActivityDate="2014-01-22T17:23:29.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3035" CreationDate="2014-01-22T21:53:02.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For some, it's all about motivation.  Give him a reason to want to poop in the potty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We potty-trained our son, and he knew when he had to go, but could care less.  We tried everything!  We tried to reward him, bribe him, we tried putting him in big boy underwear, letting him sit in his mess, but despite all efforts, nothing worked.  He just didn't want to be bothered with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a little girl at church around his age that he was 'in love' with.  When she told him that he couldn't be her boyfriend as long as he wore pullups, he came home and announced he wanted underwear.  In less than a week, he was potty trained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6246" LastActivityDate="2014-01-22T21:53:02.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2642" CreationDate="2014-01-23T05:43:16.223" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others mention, going to bed on time and waking up early is important. What's made a huge difference for us is using an app called KidToDo. We use it for the morning routine, as well as checklists when our kids back from school. My kids are slightly older (6 and 9) but it is designed for pre-readers too. The app lets a parent take photos of all the things your kid needs to do. The kid then checks the items off and gets a sticker at the end. Works like a charm!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is currently only available for the iPad though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6655" LastActivityDate="2014-01-23T05:43:16.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11225" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23508" CreationDate="2014-01-23T15:13:47.380" Score="7" ViewCount="304" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it safe to put a front-facing car seat at the front passenger seat? Do I have to disable the airbag first?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2015-12-30T11:27:52.847" Title="Car seats at the front" Tags="|travel|car-seat|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11225" CreationDate="2014-01-23T16:13:05.833" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes it should be safe, and no, you don't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to disable the airbag in most countries, although you'd have to check the laws in the country where you live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/auto/vraag-en-antwoord/wat-zijn-de-regels-voor-het-vervoer-van-kinderen-in-de-auto.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;official Dutch source&lt;/a&gt; (in Dutch), children under 18 and smaller than 1,35m. have to use an appropriate car seat. &lt;em&gt;Rear-facing&lt;/em&gt; car seats are only allowed on seats (front or rear) without an active airbag (so it should either be deactivated or absent altogether), but front-facing car seats have no such restrictions. This applies more or less to the entire EU, although some countries use different height or age restrictions, as evidenced by this &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.gov.uk/rules-drivers-motorcyclists-89-to-102/seat-belts-and-child-restraints-99-to-102&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;official UK source&lt;/a&gt;, that puts the age limit at 14. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I expect these laws to be based on safety, I assume it's safe enough to use a front-facing car seat in the front seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-01-24T08:12:23.693" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T08:12:23.693" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11225" CreationDate="2014-01-23T16:19:42.587" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, this is not medical or legal advice, and no answer from a site like this should be relied upon; ask your pediatrician for the best advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; safer for a child to sit in the front seat.  (Similarly, it is never safer for an adult; the rear seat is simply safer in general.)  The recommendations of child safety organizations are generally they should be in the back at least until 13, if not longer (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-can-my-child-safely-ride-in-the-front-seat-of-a-car_1388678.bc&quot;&gt;this page&lt;/a&gt; for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if your child must ride in the front seat, disabling the passenger airbags is certainly a must.  You may be able to switch them off, and if not your car dealer or mechanic may be able to install a switch to turn them off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some additional information, from the American Academy of Pediatrics, who published updated &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/127/4/e1050.full?sid=bd9574fb-4575-4d35-a46e-a63394e68331&quot;&gt;recommendations for car safety for children&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Studies showed a 40% to 70% reduction in fatalities from children under 13 riding in the rear seat.  Over 13 it didn't seem to make much difference.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even of side collisions, the rear seat still provided a 62% reduction in serious injuries compared to the front seat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a number of studies mentioned in the article, some fairly recent, backing those numbers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-01-23T16:57:31.727" LastActivityDate="2014-01-23T16:57:31.727" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11228" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-24T00:46:35.990" Score="5" ViewCount="1101" Body="&lt;p&gt;So I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there that knows of any discipline suggestions that maybe I haven't tried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm waiting for mental health to get back to me but I need something in the meantime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 5 years old. His dad and I have been apart for 2 years now and he sees his dad when he's out of camp work and talks to him when he can. His teachers have expressed that he has been violent at school. I've tried taking things away, time-outs, and taking special dates away(play dates and shopping trips). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's not overly spoiled. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His dad has mental health issues as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any ideas please let me know I'm in need of some help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6661" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-24T01:15:35.180" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T11:36:56.263" Title="Suggestions for helping a 5 year old boy with horrible behavior" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11228" CreationDate="2014-01-24T05:56:54.440" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As @Joe commented, there could really be lots of reasons for that behavior. It could be a combination of reasons. And in order to handle it the right way (as opposed to achieving a temporary deceiving quiet), the root causes are better be exposed. There &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; some root causes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let's try to narrow it down.&lt;/strong&gt; Does your child have no discipline whatsoever? You said &quot;His teachers have expressed that he has been violent at school.&quot; It sounds like his behavior is bad only at school. Is it only violence? How about paying attention to the teachers? Doing homework? If it's only violence, is it aimed toward specific (irritating?) children or does it occur on specific days of the week? (like longest school days, or the day after he meets his dad because he misses him etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my &lt;strong&gt;first suggestion&lt;/strong&gt; is try to understand your child. Try your best effort by yourself before any mental health help arrives or not. Don't be dependent on that. Just do it (as you've started by posting here) because you love your child. BTW, you know him best so you can most probably help him best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(You might already been doing it, but) My &lt;strong&gt;second suggestion&lt;/strong&gt; is talk to him. Or more accurate: make &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; talk to you. Let &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; describe his day at school. Let &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; explain his ups and downs, his violence, the teachers' reactions etc.. Make him comfortable talking to you. Just try to hear him without criticizing his behavior. Since you're his most &lt;strong&gt;meaningful adult&lt;/strong&gt; in his life, you're his solid rock on which he relay upon. If he's criticized at school, then comes back home and get criticized all over again, where would he go? With whom would he share his thoughts and feelings? Open communication and trust are key properties for healthy relationships and parenting. Moreover, if you succeed in that, you might also come to understand your child's behavior (the first suggestion).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Third suggestion&lt;/strong&gt;, a non-direct suggestion. Don't blame anyone... Not yourself, not the child, not the father, not the school. Don't look for someone to blame and don't jump to conclusions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW, you mentioned that his dad has mental issues &quot;as well&quot;. What do you mean by &quot;as well&quot;? In addition to your child? He wasn't diagnosed yet. Let him enjoy being mentally healthy while he can :). Jumping to conclusion might introduce new problems instead of solving the existing ones (&quot;oh! You're just like ---&quot; and stuff like that might cause children actually think that they &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; start behaving like ---).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last note, you say that the punishments you used were to no avail. Typically I discourage punishments, certainly at such an age, but even for those that believe in it, in this case, either your child simply isn't afraid of them (not probable for such an age), or he doesn't perceive them good enough, or that the things you use to threat aren't important enough for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am no psychologist or education expert or anything... Just suggestion for your own judgement of course. And I hope it'll help you in your journey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6615" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T05:56:54.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11232" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11244" CreationDate="2014-01-24T09:44:41.257" Score="12" ViewCount="94768" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am subscribed to a newsletter from babycenter.com.&#xA;Just now I received a letter containing the following content:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sleep solutions:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;   Once she reaches the age of six months or so, your&#xA;  baby will not need to feed so often at night and if you can manage to&#xA;  persuade her to drop those night-time feeds, it can be a real boost to&#xA;  you all as a family. Unfortunately, this is not always easy. One&#xA;  method that many parents use is &quot;controlled crying&quot;, also called sleep&#xA;  training. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;The idea behind it is that a baby of this age is waking for&#xA;  a feed out of habit rather than need,&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; and the aim is to break that&#xA;  habit. At the same time, the method aims to reassure both you and your&#xA;  baby that she is still all right but that nights are definitely for&#xA;  sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to identify whether a 7 months old baby is waking for a feed out of habit rather than need? Can she not be actually hungry? How would I know?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T20:06:22.053" Title="How to identify whether a 7 months old baby is waking for a feed out of habit or need?" Tags="|infant|food|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6481" CreationDate="2014-01-24T10:53:50.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a child, the only way i could fall asleep was to have my head and face completely covered with a blanket. Even if the rest of my body remained oncovered, my head and face had to be completely covered. Now as adult, that is still the only way i can sleep. I would suggest buying her a sheet with her favorite cartoon, animal or character on it. Also a thicker sheet might feel more like a blanket. Allowing her to feel more comfortable using it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6664" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T10:53:50.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10702" CreationDate="2014-01-24T12:09:13.147" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The fact that your child is following the rules and not breaking them is great. That being said, your 8 year old is way to uptight. You could tell him if following a rule might cause him or others harm. That rule could be placed on the BR list. Broken Rule list. Showing him that things are not always just right or wrong. Or just black and white. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6664" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T12:09:13.147" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11171" CreationDate="2014-01-24T12:46:40.517" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you first should try and understand is that this matter is with your daughter, your rules and your household. So the rules and an agreement need to be met between you and your daughter ( only) explain to her that SHE is your daughter, SHE is your responsiblilty and how much you love her. Than let her know if your rules are broken. She and only she will be responsible.  If any rules are broken visits with friends are over, for a reasonable amount of time or until further notice. Remember be consistant when grounding or discipling. Meaning if you say a week, make sure to inforce it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6664" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T12:46:40.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10988" CreationDate="2014-01-24T14:11:34.880" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As always, a specific case calls for a specific answer. You would have to say more about your children for us to make some prudent suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, for kindergarden, I'd say: put them in the same group. Especially if there are &quot;family&quot; groups. It will make the experience much easier for the younger one, to have a sibling already there. Less stress and crying, faster adjusting to the new environment, and a friend to go to in case of problems. Besides, if you split them, and all other siblings stay together, your kids may feel badly because of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might consider switching groups after some time, if there are groups better adjusted for the younger one's age. Once he's adjusted (but before he had made good friends?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T14:11:34.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8268" CreationDate="2014-01-24T22:24:34.887" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem when our daughter moved to a proper bed. The things that helped us were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gro Clock. I know you've said this in the update but yes this worked a treat for us too. Worked so well that we started the reading the story to our our 7m old every night to drill it in ready for when he's in a bed :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Without fail putting them back in bed when they get up saying &quot;Don't get up until the sun&quot;, pointing at the gro clock. That may take 20 times or so the first morning but persistence pays off. Is a battle of wills at the start but took us only a few days (mornings) for it to sink in&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NB: After potty training need to make sure they don't need the toilet before putting them back in bed :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6669" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T22:24:34.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10758" CreationDate="2014-01-24T22:37:10.247" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience the content is irrelevant. The best lullaby is the parent's voice singing anything in a soft, melodic fashion.  If you need a starting point then you can't go wrong with twinkle twinkle little star.  After singing it 200 times it can get boring (for you) so keeping the same tune and replace the words with anything which comes to mind.  Perhaps a shopping list of what you need from the supermarket. Really, all that matters is the tone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're looking for something to leave them with whilst you leave the room then perhaps record yourself singing something?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6669" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T22:37:10.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10758" CreationDate="2014-01-24T22:43:32.107" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For newborns, I agree with the other answers - you singing is what's important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For toddlers, one important thing to keep in mind for 'sleep music' is that you should choose music &lt;em&gt;with no words&lt;/em&gt;.  Music with words will keep their brain engaged more than music without, and will not help them fall asleep as quickly.  I typically sing whatever song my two year old asks for for about 10 minutes, and then after that it's wordless tunes until he falls asleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T22:43:32.107" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10655" CreationDate="2014-01-24T23:02:31.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;OMG They must be going insane.  I can sympathise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting a lock on the door sounds pretty extreme.  Even considering it must mean they are at the end of their tethers.  My only thoughts are..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like the toddler is turning this into a game rather than it being a sleep issue. Games are &lt;em&gt;sometimes&lt;/em&gt; there to get attention so are they getting enough positive time with the parents during the day?  (not making any judgements there, just exploring that there may be other non-sleep related issues)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding stopping them from leaving the room is it just in the mornings or throughout the night?  If they regularly get up early and wander then the mother will need to get up earlier. If they're getting up at 5 then set your alarm for 4:30 and camp outside their room. Even sleep on the floor. Then when they get up put them back into bed &amp;amp; repeat.  Might take 5/20/100 times over 3/5/10 nights but eventually they'll get the idea that this is a game they wont win.   I wouldn't recommend sleeping actually in their room as they could get used to that. Just in a position where it would be impossible for them to leave the room without waking you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6669" LastActivityDate="2014-01-24T23:02:31.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11232" CreationDate="2014-01-25T02:38:20.393" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that I'm qualified to be answering -- it's been over a decade since my child was that age -- but, for what it's worth, I'm going to give my 2&amp;cent;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child is waking b/c they are hungry, then &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; is the only thing which will comfort them.  If the child is waking for any other reason -- dirty diaper, bad dream, etc -- then curing that issue is the only thing that will comfort them.  Knowing the specific needs of our children is a constant challenge and always changing. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All children want, need, and long for love.  Waking in the night when one is that young can be rather scary... they've only had 7 months to know that it's dark and even then the first few months the eyes were developing.  Holding them, comforting them, and putting them back to bed may very well be helpful (feeding may not be the issue, but the symptom).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each child, however, is unique in darn near every regard.  Some more &quot;needy&quot; (i.e. desire more attention and affection) and some more independent.  I see nothing inherently wrong with acceding to their reasonable needs. A child afraid of the dark at 7 months may be a night owl at 17 years, and so on and so forth.  At less than a year of age, one would, imo, be prudent to ask if certain behaviors are worthy of trying to rectify or if nuturing is the best course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, just my 2&amp;cent;, but I hope it is in some way helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T02:38:20.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11232" CreationDate="2014-01-25T03:33:04.510" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't really know, but you can make some educated guesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is your daughter eating a reasonable amount during the day?  Does how much she eats during the day affect how often she wakes up?  Keep track for a few days, and try varying it a bit.  If you find a maximum - ie, an amount either that she's unwilling to eat more than, or that doesn't have any impact on her waking - then you're feeding her enough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is she waking for some other reason?  Is her diaper wet (have you moved to &quot;night diapers&quot; yet?), is she cold, etc.  Eliminate those reasons.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you get her back to sleep &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; feeding?  Even if it takes ten or twenty minutes of rocking, petting, etc.?  If so, and she actually stays asleep, then she's not (too) hungry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much does she eat when she night-feeds?  You probably can tell by now how hungry she is during a feeding.  If she's snacking, then she doesn't need to eat.  If she's starving and eating all that she can get her hands on, then she might still be hungry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say if you're breastfeeding or if you're bottle feeding, and this is one of those places where it makes a difference.  Breastfeeding at night is extremely comforting to the baby, and can make it a much harder habit to break for both mommy and baby - it was definitely hard for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do suggest some version of 'cry it out', although not as extreme necessarily as some.  What worked for us was to comfort our son but not get him out of bed, initially; then move on to letting him cry for a few minutes, but not very long.  We never needed to let him cry for a lengthy period of time; he figured out pretty quickly that he wasn't getting a midnight feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T03:33:04.510" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11246" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-25T06:03:42.127" Score="4" ViewCount="181" Body="&lt;p&gt;my nephew's one year old drinks and eats very little, what could be the problem?  He seems hungry, and tries to eat, but he would keep it in his mouth for a long while then spits it out.  We give him mashed potato, yogurt and baby food, but he would only eat the most 3 teaspoonfuls, then refuses to eat more.  He is a year old and he is only 16 pounds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6670" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T16:06:19.903" Title="one year old eating and drinking very little" Tags="|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11232" CreationDate="2014-01-25T06:05:52.023" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we stopped the night feeds (at 6 months or so), what reassured us was the fact that our baby would sleep for another good four hours after falling back asleep. Essentially his total amount of sleep stayed the same during the night. We knew from previous experience that he would have woken up and cried earlier if he was really hungry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took us about five nights with ~45 minutes of crying at 4AM before he realized that he should just roll over and go back to sleep. These five nights, his dad would hold and cuddle him the whole time. I wouldn't go near, because my smell would make him go crazy since it indicated that milk was near.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T06:05:52.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10860" CreationDate="2014-01-25T15:54:44.320" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8 year old I hope you find this helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doe not like brushing his teeth. But, he knows he has 2 bad examples. His cousins (also 8, separate families) lost most of their teeth for not brushing.&#xA;So, I tell him, &quot;It is not a punishment, just look at your cousins, it is embarrassing not having teeth&quot;. It is not easy but, seems like I always have to be there&#xA;to supervise him brushing his teeth. I have been there since day one. 3 times per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is pretty much like this in all areas. Yes he is very proud (like stubborn, but nicer word). &#xA;But I notice that he is driven by love and society. I think that is why he does not just wants to do something that I say.&#xA;If it's not for something bigger or for a better cause he wont do it. Like thinking he can easy defy me or defeat me.&#xA;To me it does not matter, as long as he does what he needs to do in school and learns to be a good man. &#xA;After all we raise kids to better society not us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the boss, My wife is older than me and she is the boss (to say the least). So I spend a lot of time with the kids.&#xA;If I do anything wrong, the kids complain to her and I deal with her. To me is fine because the kids learn to complain. &#xA;Which is something we can't teach. Like love. So dont hinder the love that your girl has for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the account of My Son and I&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loves to talk back&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Seems like he only does what he likes or wants&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he asks a lot of questions to get out of trouble&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;rules and consequences does not seem to work&#xA;he cries if he does not like the consequences&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he gets scare very easily, specially watching movies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he is doing bad in reading and writing, but good in math&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if i tell him an answer, he will take it if he likes it. So homework takes a long time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he does not like to brush his teeth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what I found is that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loves me very much&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he is very talkative&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loves candy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loves a schedule, and check things off to know when he will have time to play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loves to think and reason&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he is very real, he has never believed in santa claus&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he likes the company of others&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loves to work for the better of society, volunteering, etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loves to save money&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;even tho we have been thru a lot, after the ordeal we play like if nothing happened&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he has a sweet heart, he prays every night that doesn't want anybody to die, and that all go to heaven&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loves piano, creating stuff with hands, drawing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;very shy but likes drama class, love to play with others&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is very proud so I have to work around that to get him to do what he needs to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6067" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T15:54:44.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11246" CreationDate="2014-01-25T16:06:19.903" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, your nephew's parents need to be discussing this with their pediatrician.  Your nephew's weight is extremely low for his age; 16 pounds would be below the first percentile.  18.5 pounds is the 3rd percentile for that age according to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/data/set1/chart01.pdf&quot;&gt;CDC growth charts&lt;/a&gt;.  There may be particulars affecting this child (was he premature?), but regardless, this should be primarily a call to the pediatrician.  He may also have some persistent medical issue, such as GERD/acid reflux, that makes it hard for him to eat, or an enlarged thyroid or other issue in his throat making it hard to swallow, or any number of other issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the general case of your question - what do I do about a child who doesn't eat - there are a lot of potential solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First thing I'd address is texture.  The child may be unhappy with the textures he's being provided.  My first son was a huge fan of cereals and blended vegetables, and ate 'baby cereal' from 4 months to 8 months happily, then transitioning to more solid foods at that point.  My second son hated cereal or blended vegetables, and was eating finger foods at five months exclusively (plus breast milk of course).  All of the foods I see above are soft texture; perhaps this child prefers crunchier or tougher textures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second thing I'd address is taste.  Some children like stronger tasting foods, some blander tasting foods.  Try making your own food, rather than baby food in jars; Gerber-type foods don't really taste very good.  Steam the vegetables and then use a food processor if needed (though by one, he's probably fine with steamed vegetables).  Hamburger is excellent for that age also as it's easily eatable as a finger food.  Fish is also good - poach it in broth, steam it, grill it, or bake it, depending on the fish, either way it'll be nice and flaky and easily eaten as finger food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, consider feeding more often small meals.  Three spoonfuls every hour would get enough food in him.  Work his way up, don't stress too much about quantity and he won't be to stressed out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-25T16:06:19.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11251" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-26T02:07:21.187" Score="6" ViewCount="209" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is only 10 months old. I know that seems a bit premature.  We live in an area that people have told us is difficult to find a good school. So we thought that if we plan ahead and find 2-3 schools ahead of time, we can buy a house in that area, and take our kid there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started looking at greatschools.org and the education department website, and is really difficult to compare schools and to know the profile of students once they finish. So we started thinking about private schools, however, we don't know if we want to bring our kid to a private school, since we were both brought up in the public system. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not the only father out there trying to figure this out, so I was hoping to see if someone has a process to select a good school that worked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought that if I put local information the question might be less relevant, but here it is. The city is Orlando, the state is Florida in the US. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2078" LastEditorUserId="2078" LastEditDate="2014-01-26T02:29:56.337" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T04:17:20.933" Title="What's the process to select a School?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11251" CreationDate="2014-01-26T02:41:46.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if there's really an entirely generic answer to this, but here's how I did this (with a 2.5yo and a 10 month old currently).  This answer will apply primarily to those living in suburbs of major cities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We lived in a major city in the urban center prior to having children, and once we had our first and were considering home ownership, we asked our coworkers and a realtor what suburbs would be good for high schools (grades 9-12 in our area).  Once we found out where the good high schools were, we narrowed locations down to those with good ratings on greatschools for the elementary schools, plus some basic logic.  That plus our desire not to be too far out, and our desired price range for houses, gave us our potential neighborhoods to purchase in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few factors beyond ratings we considered:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Property taxes.  Higher taxes = better schools, in most areas.  This obviously is not always true, but suburbs with higher taxes typically are where parents with kids who want their kids to do well in school live, while lower taxes tend to be where people who will go to private schools or who do not have kids - or who don't care as much about education - will go.  In my area, this is even more relevant for elementary schools - as sometimes high schools will span multiple towns, but you want to be in the elementary school district of the region paying more of the taxes as their elementary schools are often better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Education levels of the adults in the town.  More educated parents tend to pay more attention to the education of their children, which means not only better schools due to more interest in paying for them and seeing results, but also higher level of education for your child's peers.  Our town is very educated compared to other similar suburbs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breadth of classes and activities at the high school.  Our local high school has a huge amount of activities, from drama club and forensics to astronomy club and a SF/F club - over 50 clubs and activities, plus athletics.  It also offers classes in Latin, Japanese, and Chinese languages (plus the usual western european set), has a variety of vocational classes, over a dozen science classes, etc.  I have no concern that my children will lack for choice - and a high school that offers such a breadth of classes is probably better (at least better funded, if not actually higher in quality).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parks and other recreational activities in the area.  At a young age these are as important or more so than school.  I'd be happy with a mediocre first grade class but an excellent park system that allows my child to learn motor skills and social skills.  Fortunately we have both in our town - we are a block away from a large park and within two miles of five very different parks, plus two large public pools, ice skating, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend asking around, as well; if you don't have coworkers to ask or family or friends with experience in the metropolitan area, then pick a few candidates and go there - see if you can find someone that seems reasonably reliable, like a pastor of a local church or a librarian.  You might also ask your realtor which neighborhoods are considered to have good schools.  Combine that with research and logic, and you can come up with some good candidates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, remember that you can't necessarily pick the perfect neighborhood right now; your child will grow up to be his/her own person, and may prefer or need a different environment than you'd expect.  Just pick somewhere that seems like it has good elements and will give your son/daughter as much room to grow as possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-26T02:41:46.887" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11251" CreationDate="2014-01-26T02:54:42.023" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;(must say I'm a &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; bad example as I currently &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeschooling&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;homeschool&lt;/a&gt;, but I &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; go through the whole process and eventually let my children spent a few years in one of those institutions)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, &lt;strong&gt;define your expectations from school&lt;/strong&gt;. Could be one of improve social skills, excel in actual studies, close to home, price, social properties of school's population, no violence, springboard to higher schools, nature caring, religion - whatever. Just know what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are looking for. Try to focus, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, &lt;strong&gt;prioritize them&lt;/strong&gt;, as well as you can (3 different priorities should do). Having 3-4 &lt;em&gt;really important&lt;/em&gt; expectations is enough. Remember no school is perfect (even not homeschool :P).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, &lt;strong&gt;filter the unlikely candidiates&lt;/strong&gt;. Hopefully, the prioritized list obviously filters many candidate schools. If it doesn't, then there are probably many schools that have more or less the same properties. Almost duplicate schools. Pick the closer to home. But, hopefully, your list is firm enough to filter many in the first place. You should have no more than 5 schools at hand. Otherwise, either your list doesn't reflect your expectations good enough, or you don't have too much expectations (that was my case :D).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth, &lt;strong&gt;thoroughly examine the final candidates&lt;/strong&gt;. Go there, see the place when it's opened, during recess, during class time. Also, find people in your vicinity, with children a bit older than yours. There are probably some children at the preschool (or kindergarten) that have older siblings. Ask their parents about these schools. If you have friends in your neighborhood with older children, that you know to have more or less the same expectations - ask them also. &lt;strong&gt;Nothing beats first hand feedback from other parents&lt;/strong&gt;. But you've got to have more than one (unless it's someone you really count on to not exaggerate a bit). Then, have an appointment with the principal, have your list of expectations with you. If other parents said things that worry you, ask about it in that appointment. OK, I think you got the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, when was in this process, my first and foremost expectation was &quot;not do any harm to the child&quot;. It implied the further expectations to be as close to home as possible and have as little school hours as possible, relying upon ourselves for fixing any lack of education, supposed there was to be one. So I sent my children to the block's public school, watching them from my apartment's window, crossing no roads, till they're into the schoolyard. Made me happy (for a few years).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though I understand you're from the US (now I see that you're from Orlando), this attempts to describe a general process that may apply for many countries (I'm not from the US).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6615" LastActivityDate="2014-01-26T02:54:42.023" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11251" CreationDate="2014-01-26T04:13:50.197" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The two answers already posted give some great advice about choosing a district to land in, but there are specifics about each school you can also choose to take a look at - part of that, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11253/2876&quot;&gt;&quot;Thoroughly examine the final candidates&quot; step mentioned by yair&lt;/a&gt;  (Great synopsis of the process btw) Some of the items I've listed here, might be a bit nit-picky, but they are the kinds of things a lot of people don't know they can even inquire about and can make a huge difference for you just in knowing about them (you can decide if something is a deal-breaker or not, or if you don't like it, but are willing to live with it, you can figure out your plan for &quot;dealing.&quot;)  Most of these items are helpful to know whether you Go Private or Public but a few may be more applicable to one or the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know and understand what the &lt;strong&gt;school's mission statement&lt;/strong&gt; says. Part of accreditation of private schools in the US includes having a mission statement, many public schools also have one. This expresses the general beliefs about what the goal of education is within that school community.  Not all schools pay much attention to their mission statement, but you should have a general idea of what the school publicizes as its goal for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Know homework standards&lt;/strong&gt;. Some of the specifics will be dependent on specifically which class your child is in. However, Principles - especially at the upper grades but increasingly even in Kindergarten - often give minimum amounts of homework that should be assigned to kids - even when the teacher feels the class has fully understood a lesson they are mandated to assign a certain amount of &quot;practice work&quot;. Know how much you can expect for an average week and an average night&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know the &lt;strong&gt;school schedule and attendance policy&lt;/strong&gt;. This may seem as though it is an obvious one, but which holidays the school decides to offer time for, how often there will be half days and when there will be additional Fridays or Mondays off can be revealing about what a school expects from parents and community in terms of time and commitment. For example, if you take a family vacation during school sessions can your child expect to get make-up work in advance? Is there a difference between kids leaving because of bereavement vs. family holiday? etc. For each day missed, how many days are allowed time to make-up the work for full credit? Is there a difference between an absence for illness and an absence for other reasons? What about Tardiness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know and understand &lt;strong&gt;discipline policies&lt;/strong&gt;. Even if your child never misbehaves they can be affected by these policies. For example, how likely is it another child will be able to push, hit or otherwise demean your child and get away with it? At one school where I worked &quot;redirection&quot; was the standard policy for discipline. This means, when a child misbehaved in some way he or she was to just be distracted with a new activity to do. While this works most of the time (in Preschools it is an especially common standard) the result when it was strictly adhered to was that children were simply redirected even when they were physically aggressive toward other children repeatedly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of stock is put in ratios. &lt;strong&gt;Ratio of adults to children&lt;/strong&gt; DOES matter a lot. The optimum ratio (for all grades really) is about 15-30 kids (although at the elementary level anything higher than 25 is too much). If you go much lower than 15 school-aged children, the energy in the rooms is draining, much higher and you can't truly get to know each individual and their learning styles, strengths and weakness. However, ratios are often misrepresentative of what is actually true in a given school. It is an average schools produce for the information of the families looking into them. Ratios in the standard classroom can be higher than what is published because enrichment classrooms which may have a ratio of one to eight are also averaged in. Other times, a ratio might be given as an over-all. These ratios are purely the number of staff (including support staff that is not &lt;strong&gt;in&lt;/strong&gt; the classroom such as the receptionists), faculty and administrators. Sometimes staff is left out of this ratio, but administration almost never is. Almost every school I have interned or worked at has had ratios that paint a picture that is very different from the actuality. Since this is true overall, when comparing a ratio at one school to another school it is still valuable information for you, just make sure you know that in most schools, a ratio of 20 to one does not actually mean your child will be in a class with no more than 20 kids per adult within the classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know policies for special needs - you may have a child who is academically gifted and will need a more challenging or specialized curriculum - you just don't know it yet, or you may have a child that is really smart but his/her as-yet undiagnosed dyslexia or dysgraphia makes it very difficult to read so your child will need extra reading supports. What is the process for determining a child may need extra supports and how long does it usually take? Are there in-classroom adjustments that are made for fast or slow readers? What is the school's policy on holding back or skipping children? I have a niece that is particularly advanced in a couple of subjects, but rather than skip her she is given work about the same topics the other kids are studying that is deeper - or more challenging. She is NOT given EXTRA work but work that is appropriately challenging for her. What a healthy and advantageous policy for her in her educational journey and one we couldn't get in our region for our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know about &lt;strong&gt;additional fees and incidentals&lt;/strong&gt;. If your child attends a private school there are often book fees, uniforms, activities fees (for field trips etc.) that are not considered part of the tuition. Even at public schools there are additional supplies the school does not supply, field trip costs and fees for extracurricular activities.  Get a look at the required supplies list no matter whether you are at a public or private school.  I've heard complaints from families that spent hundreds of dollars on supplies because they needed particular type of notebook, calculator etc. etc. While the specifics of a list are likely to change before you are at the point of shopping for these supplies, the size and scope as well as required specificity can be an indicator to you of what to expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also look at &lt;strong&gt;sample report cards&lt;/strong&gt; to know what will be considered important in terms of grading at different grade levels and to know what the gist of formal evaluation is aimed at in your school community. Some schools put a lot of emphasis on effort while others focus more on scores on homework and tests. Many really don't emphasize any of the subjects except math and reading until much later grades while others give scores for all subjects studied no matter student age and level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Know ratings scores&lt;/strong&gt;. The public and private schools (in the US) all administer standardized tests for the purpose of evaluating the success of the school itself. Too much stock is often put into these scores in terms of evaluating teachers and administrators as these tests usually only focus on reading and math at the elementary level (science is added in 4th grade at public schools in our state) and they don't consider factors that the school has no control over such as how many kids are in the school that don't have a computer at home, whose parents don't read to and with their children, or how many of their students come to school hungry every morning. However, ratings scores for schools factor in test scores as well as other elements like extra-curricular options that are available, drop out rates (in upper grades), building maintenance and care, etc.  When you compare the school's current score to its scores from previous years you can see whether the school is improving and growing or whether it is faltering. It also gives you an idea of how one school preforms compared to another when you are able to choose between two ore more school options. At this time, schools are expected to show a rise in performance each year or their scores do go down slightly so a consistent score does not demonstrate stagnation. In the public schools, a score of 800 is considered acceptable performance by the state in which I live, you may need to do a little more research for your state.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know policies about what is or is not allowed at school. I've known of more than one story of a child getting in trouble for the butter knife that was packed in a lunch pail by the mother. Many schools (especially in the upper grades) also have policies about cell phones and other electronic gadgets&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to ask about &lt;strong&gt;environmental and safety standards&lt;/strong&gt; as well. Pesticides and Herbicides are often used extensively on school grounds and athletic fields. What are the safety standards? How long does it usually take for a needed repair to take place? What hazard exist for your region to consider? What are the fire procedures? tornado procedures? Earthquake procedures?. . . Even if the answers aren't make or break for you, asking these questions lets the school know you care and are conscientious. It may even lead to improvements in school standards if enough parents start asking these questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don’t forget to check out the &lt;strong&gt;cafeteria&lt;/strong&gt; and make sure you are satisfied with the &quot;hot lunch&quot; offerings and their &lt;strong&gt;nutritional value&lt;/strong&gt;. Look up Jamie Oliver for more information about evaluating school foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an added comment, you don't bring it up in your question, but I'll share that we had a really hard time finding a school for our kid as none of the schools in our area are all that great.  Even the private schools didn't seem to match our needs or intentions so we wound up going with &quot;virtual schooling&quot; which offers a combination of public schooling with classrooms and the whole nine yards once/week, online classes she does at home but who have a teacher other than myself and homeschooling.  It is just another option you might consider if you do truly have a hard time finding and getting your child into the &quot;right&quot; school for you.  I have &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5593/2876&quot;&gt;asked a question here&lt;/a&gt; about what to think about when considering whether homeschooling (or any form of it) is right for you that if you are open to the idea may also be enlightening in regard to both the downsides of choosing this route and the advantages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T21:35:35.923" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11255" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-26T19:07:42.540" Score="3" ViewCount="390" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child (7, nearly 8 and going on 16 - yes, all one child) is involved in Theater, Children's Choir, takes piano lessons, and has Tae Kwon Do (TKD) 4 days a week (she is in the black belt club and working hard at moving through the advanced belts) &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; takes 30 minutes of swimming two nights per week.  She also does 45 minutes of playing tennis with her Dad at least once/week and sometimes twice per week.  She loves all of these activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we home school, having such a full schedule isn't as bad as it would be if she also had to do homework in the evenings and is, at this point do-able.  However, she would like to add &lt;strong&gt;more&lt;/strong&gt; theater &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; participate in beauty pageants.  She is also interested in trying soccer.  The idea of adding soccer to her agenda intrigues me as she does not currently have a team sport and I'm sure there is a lot to be gained from participating in one.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Theater really requires a lot of team effort though too so I'm not sure how critical it is to add a team sport since our plate is already so full of activities.  I've already told her she can't do pageants, choir &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; theater though and would have to choose one to let go in order to add in pageants. (Piano actually counts as a music class for her schooling.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TKD is already paid for in full for the entire next two years.  She is in the &quot;Black Belt Club which means she has set a goal to attain Black Belt status within the next two years and can start doing weapons classes which she is really excited about.  Giving up TKD at this point is simply not a realistic option.  The swimming is important to me so that she can safely swim and float if ever in a situation around water where these skills are needed (I grew up on an island and my parents still live there so we are on boats and around the water a lot).  The Tennis is important time with Daddy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been putting off starting soccer until I am comfortable allowing her to drop the swimming lessons, but she still can't float confidently on her own or swim across the pool without assistance.  At the same time, I am concerned that if we wait too long, it may be hard for her to get on a team as a beginner with the other kids having had years of practice she will have missed out on.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How important is it for her to have the opportunity to play specifically in a team sport?  She is obviously getting a lot of athletic activity as well as opportunities to practice working well with others.  Even things like learning to pass the ball (in the sense of sharing the spotlight, not the actual physical skill) are addressed in theater as who gets the focus or spotlight shifts and changes throughout a scene and has some parallel skills and thinking that is required.  Should I make her choose between theater and soccer?  Should we choose to drop something else to make room for soccer because there are things she can get from being a member of an athletic team she is not getting elsewhere?  Or should I continue as I am and hope she gets to a satisfactory skill level with Swimming this year before the soccer season begins in full?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-03T21:28:11.747" LastActivityDate="2018-11-03T21:28:11.747" Title="Should we add a team sport (soccer) specifically to an already pretty full schedule?" Tags="|primary-schooler|activities|sports|socialization|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4600" CreationDate="2014-01-27T04:21:40.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps this answer isn't relevant to the original poster but here's my two cents: my youngest ( of three boys) has never been a good sleeper. Ever. He still wakes up frequently now that he's twenty two months old, but most nights he goes back to sleep after a minute or two of fussing and rolling around in his crib. The nights he wakes up every hour or two and needs my attention to get back to sleep are a warning sign to me now that he has an ear infection. 9 times out of ten he has one after two nights of waking up like that. It's the only symptom he has. No fever, nothing. Except waking up. His ears show signs of scarring from a bunch of ear infections we never knew he had when he was an infant and we attributed the crying to &quot;fussy baby stuff&quot;. So. Take your kid to the doctor if he's not himself. Could be nothing, or, it could be the answer to your (and the baby's) problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T04:21:40.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4181" CreationDate="2014-01-27T14:18:17.403" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Biological detergent has enzymes in to help clean.  A few people are sensitive to those, so you might want to avoid biological powders or wash hotter. (Washing with bio powder at over 40c destroys the enzymes.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fabric softeners stop fabrics from being absorbant.  So you don't want to ise them on towels.  A bit of &quot;rustling&quot; before use softens towels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child still has skin problems I'd get a doctor's advice.  If a child has ecxzma you can apply to your water supplier for a discount to cover cost of extra washing you need to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T14:18:17.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6481" CreationDate="2014-01-27T14:25:32.033" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see a lot of people on here talking about &quot;compromising&quot; with a two year old...do you guys have toddlers? I don't mean to be rude but I have have an almost two yr old and a three yr old and there is NO negotiating with these two. They are unreasonable and inclined to argue no matter what. It's the age. I live in a place where it's cold at night and my two yr old sleeps in a blanket sleeper, with wool &quot;longies&quot; (diaper cover leggings) and no blanket. He's plenty warm enough. My three yr old used to like to cover his head. The hotter the better-like your child he wasn't happy unless he was sweating like a pig. My husband was so worried about SIDS he used to get up and check on him frequently, but, we used to give him a knit blanket that was quite breathable. Did he like it? Not at first but it was that or nothing so he learned to deal. So, my advice is this: stop trying to negotiate with someone who is totally unreasonable and incapable of deciding what is in her best interest. You are the parent. Suck it up and listen to her whine and cry and tantrum for a few nights. She'll get over it. Cats love anti-freeze but that doesn't mean they should be allowed to drink it. Your child likes to do something that is potentially dangerous (smothering herself in non-breathable fabrics). That doesn't mean she should do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T14:25:32.033" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11255" CreationDate="2014-01-27T14:27:14.640" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My inclination is &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt;.  Her schedule seems extremely busy and it makes me wonder: Does she have any free time to play? Does she have any time to be a kid? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Team sports are incredibly important for social skills, as you indicate, but something would gave to be dropped. I must say that dropping swimming before she can swim doesn't seem all that smart – I come from a place where everyone learned to swim and now live in a place where there's a lake every 100 meters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T14:27:14.640" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11255" CreationDate="2014-01-27T16:03:26.430" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Life's most difficult choices aren't between something good and something bad, but between something good and something better.  Being able to decide which good activities to say no to is a useful skill to impart to your daughter.  There are always good reasons to add one more thing to your plate.  The trick is to look at the big picture and recognize when the accumulation of good things is starting to get in the way of something better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like you are starting to recognize that something is giving way in order to make room for your daughter's activities, or else you wouldn't be asking the question.  Sit down with your family and enumerate precisely what those things are, then make a conscious decision between those concrete things and the new activity.  Maybe your daughter isn't making sacrifices, but you are.  Your needs are important too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you know exactly what you would be giving up, you will have enough information to make a decision.  I would involve your daughter in making the decision.  Give her the constraints and let her make the decision within those constraints.  Perhaps being aware that she must swim at a certain level before starting something new will motivate her to work harder at her swimming.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a hypothetical example, if one of the reasons you don't want to add something is that you need more time at home to complete essential chores, maybe your daughter would be willing to take on some of those chores in exchange for getting another activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T16:03:26.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11262" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-27T19:04:41.293" Score="2" ViewCount="1796" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12-week-old daughter has practically refused to nap during last two days. She is unusually agitated and wants to suck almost all the time. Is something wrong with her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-21T13:56:09.170" LastActivityDate="2019-02-21T13:56:09.170" Title="Extremely fussy and refusing to sleep 12-week-old" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|naps|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11262" CreationDate="2014-01-27T19:04:41.293" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;11-13 weeks is when a growth spurt may take place. 11-13 weeks is also the time when yet another wonder week may occur. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The slightly-fussier period of a wonder week may last for a few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The extremely-fussy, constantly sucking no-sleep growth spurt period usually lasts only 2 or 3 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are really worried or seeing another worrysome symptom, don't hesitate to consult your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T19:04:41.293" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11264" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-01-27T19:45:27.867" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-01-27T19:45:27.867" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T19:45:27.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11265" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-01-27T19:45:27.867" Score="0" Body="Questions about helping children improve their problem solving skills.  This tag should not be used to indicate you have a problem about a child that needs to be solved." OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-01-27T19:45:27.867" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T19:45:27.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11266" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-27T20:45:23.717" Score="4" ViewCount="13745" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mom bought my 2 year old son a &lt;a href=&quot;http://shop.leapfrog.com/leapfrog/jump/LeapPad2-Learning-Tablet-and-Bundles/category/cat1020008&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;LeapPad2&quot;&gt;LeapPad2&lt;/a&gt;, which is fun but also a big, big challenge for him at this stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tablet is definitely helping him develop his fine motor coordination, but at the expense of being frustrating.  He tends to visit the same apps over and over and not understand the goal of various activities.  Normal I suppose for a 2 year old -- but I can easily imagine an app existing which he could use and enjoy at his skill level.  For example he is good at feeding his LeapPad &quot;pet&quot;, giving it a bath, and taking it out for exercise.  He can't &quot;teach&quot; the pet very well yet, because that requires very specific drawing of letters which is more frustrating than its worth to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do you find apps that a 2 year old can use and enjoy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6630" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-01-28T13:10:10.430" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T12:58:09.253" Title="How do you find apps that a 2 year old can use and enjoy?" Tags="|toddler|development|education|age-appropriate|activities|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4181" CreationDate="2014-01-27T23:27:42.870" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh, how I laugh at myself now because I bought that special baby detergent and separated all my baby's laundry from mine when my first son was young! You live and you learn. As others have said, it depends on the baby. Some babies need gentle detergents and others don't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throw a few items in your usual wash and see if baby reacts. If not, ditch the &quot; special&quot; detergent! You have better things to spend your money on!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Here's an exception: cloth diapers made from anything other than cotton should only be washed in perfume and dye free detergents. Synthetics hold onto the fragrances especially and it'll react with baby's urine and cause stink-ironically-(best case scenario) or will burn your baby's bottom (worst case scenario).  Always defer to the diaper manufacturer's recommendation, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-01-27T23:27:42.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11251" CreationDate="2014-01-28T01:23:14.813" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;All of the answers above are pretty great, I will add a couple of things that I have experienced personally:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you plunk down money on a house in a school district that you think you like, dig into the school district's website.  Some school districts have zero districting lines meaning that if you can get your child to a school, you can take them there.  I have taught in this type of district so they do legitimately exist, though they are few and far between.  The downside of this district is that everyone wants to send their kids to the highest-performing school(s) and those schools quickly become overcrowded.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check to see how flexible it is to transfer your child within the school district in case you don't like the school you wind up at.  Since your child is only 10 months old, it's going to be 4-5 years before he/she starts school.  In the interim, new schools could be built within your district which could change the districting lines and place you into a school you didn't sign up for when you bought your home.  Every year, our school district lists schools that are &quot;open&quot; for transfer (meaning you can transfer your child into them) or &quot;closed&quot; for transfer (usually meaning that the school is all ready at or exceeding their capacity).  Additionally, our local smaller city school district runs a lottery every year, but parents whose kids are accepted into the school are expected to pay tuition which runs about $2000 per year--which is roughly the equivalent of sending your kid to a decent K-8 private school in my area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, look for other educational options within your school district such as charter schools--some of which can be excellent if you can get your child into them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When looking at elementary schools, check out their PTAs (a lot of them will have websites or a Facebook account at least).  By the time kids get to middle and high school, PTAs either don't exist or have such low participation they may as well not exist, but elementary schools are a totally different story.  My son's PTA is awesome--we're constantly sponsoring events (donuts for dad, muffins with mom, father-daughter dances, etc.) and raising money for the school.  Even the best schools in a good district are subject to the same financial constraints as the lower-performing ones.  But a good PTA can go a long way toward finding other ways to pump money into their schools (our PTA raised $35,000 this year with just one of our fundraisers).  This extra money has allowed us to buy new playground equipment, computers, keep our library up-to-date with books, smartboards, and now we're putting money into creating an outdoor classroom.  Schools lacking a strong PTA have to find other ways to pay for these things or wait until their school district finds the extra funds to pay for it (which they probably never will).  Also, getting involved with the PTA allows you to build some bridges with teachers, administrators, and other parents in the school which might come in handy sometime.  I all ready know which teacher I want my son to have next year for first grade, and that first grade teacher all ready knows who I am. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, once you've sort of settled on a school district, look carefully at the schools within the district as this will sort of help you decide where you buy.  The difference between the schools in the south end of our school district and those in the north end of our district (which is where we live) are almost like night and day so be selective even within your preferred district.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T01:23:14.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11255" CreationDate="2014-01-28T05:07:34.063" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to the world of the older child, where the available activities far exceed the hours in the day, or even week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a general answer, I very much like Karl Bielefeldt's -- he made good points about &quot;good vs. bad&quot; vs. &quot;good vs. better;&quot; your time commitment (not just your daughter's); and her improving her swimming or taking on chores in order to add an activity.  However, for &lt;em&gt;your particular situation&lt;/em&gt;, I like the idea of adding soccer, for the following reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At your daughter's age the time commitment is only 2-3 hours a week (at least it is in our area of the country), and town soccer is restricted to spring (primary) and fall (secondary/optional).  If you put the swimming on hold for the spring, you may find she progresses faster when she gets back to it in the summer: cross-training is good for every sport, and the running required for soccer may increase her wind and stamina.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't worry about it being &quot;hard for her to get on a team as a beginner with the other kids having had years of practice she will have missed out on.&quot;  Town soccer will generally take everybody, and they will always have a less skilled team for her.  &lt;strong&gt;However&lt;/strong&gt;, look at her personality for how important it is to her to be skilled at what she does.  Some kids don't care how bad they are at something they like; if they like the game, they like to play even if they're the worst kid on their team. OTOH, if she's the type of kid who needs to be good at what she's doing -- if she would hate to be the kid who always loses the ball or never masters dribbling the ball down the field at top speed -- start her now.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning how to be a team player is useful, as you say.  Some kids find this suits their personality more than others, but there are lessons (about getting along with others) to be learned here even if she finds she prefers individual sports.  (It seems to me your daughter does not have a lot of peer-only activities (?), that most of her activities are leavened by adults or older kids or kids who also do unusual things.  On a team of average kids her own age she'll need to learn how to remain friendly with: the kid who never passes the ball; the kid who always loses the ball; and the kid who can dribble rings around her. All annoyances in their own way!)  She'll get the high of being part of a winning effort with her friends, as well as the chance to develop a healthy attitude towards losing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In previous posts you've indicated that you have a high energy kid.  I'm not sure how much aerobic exercise she's getting in swimming at her present level, but adding soccer can help enormously with managing her energy during her more sedate activities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you decide to postpone adding an activity until she's mastered swimming, I would definitely urge you to let her try soccer at some point in the next year or two.  Even if she finds she doesn't like it after all, just having played it for a season (now or later) will expand her boundaries and allow her to make connections and be comfortable with the &quot;team sport&quot; kids.  And who knows, maybe she'll find a new favorite thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T05:07:34.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7137" CreationDate="2014-01-28T05:44:40.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My now 20 year old pulled up to walk at just under 6 months and spoke early as well.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Being early at one doesn't mean the child will be late at the other.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;My friend's child didn't speak until he was two and then full sentences flew out of his mouth with ease.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6682" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T05:44:40.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11266" CreationDate="2014-01-28T12:32:32.827" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're at a similar point: 32-month-old with a LeapPad2, who can wash a dog like a champ but gets hacked when he can't yet write a letter with the stylus.  (Sigh.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you talked to the folks at LeapFrog directly?  They rank their apps for appropriate ages, and we've found their customer service folks to be very approachable and knowledgeable about which groups get the most use out of which apps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, they don't often have free trials of apps, but keep an eye out; when they do, download it and try it out.  You'll know pretty quick if it is a hit or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-01-28T12:32:32.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11272" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11273" CreationDate="2014-01-28T22:33:42.000" Score="10" ViewCount="213" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have two children - a three-year-old and a 20-month old, and are expecting a third one soon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither of us drive and we have never owned a car. We rely much on public transport. We are wondering, however, whether it would be manageable after the arrival of our third child. Would really like to hear from those who have been or are in similar situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastEditorUserId="2829" LastEditDate="2014-01-30T15:47:33.707" LastActivityDate="2014-01-30T15:47:33.707" Title="Travelling with three little ones without a car" Tags="|transport|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11272" CreationDate="2014-01-28T23:14:08.513" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did this for a while. It highly depends on the public infrastructure that you have available. Easier in Europe than most US cities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somethings that worked&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Twin stroller, we had one with front and rear seats&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bicycle trailer (pulled by hand, not by bike). Groceries in the trailer, kids riding on top, sometimes tied to the handle. They can take turns.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Steps are the enemy. Anything that has wheelchair accommodations works great. Any public transportation with &quot;level access&quot; is good. In our case subway &amp;amp; trains was level access. Busses were not (urgh)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One adult can wheel two kids, number 3 will have to walk, although they can take turns. Plan your trips accordingly. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We looked at the &quot;leash&quot; but it just felt too weird. You need to make sure that the &quot;walker&quot; can follow emergency commands. Practice this in the non-emergency case !!!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Network. Friends with a mini-van are good friends :-). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Zip-car, rental, taxi are fallback position. Budget for it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accept and expect the occasional melt down and getting stuck. Don't hesitate to call in spouse, friends, or neighbors if there is one with a bloody knee, one with a poopy diaper and one who just screams on principal at the same time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Routine and repetition helps. When the kids know what's going to happen and what's expected of them, things work out pretty well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's all entirely doable: We actually managed a trip to Africa with a 1.5 a 2.5 year old in tow. As it turns out number three was already on the way, we just didn't know it a the time :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastEditorUserId="3527" LastEditDate="2014-01-29T11:38:02.973" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T11:38:02.973" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="146" CreationDate="2014-01-29T09:54:08.703" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think &lt;em&gt;spoiling&lt;/em&gt; is the correct word because a normal child is well aware &lt;em&gt;who&lt;/em&gt; it is who is allowing things or giving presents etc.  A normal child will sooner or later notice that there is a difference in the way various people treat it and what kind of reactive behaviour is accepted and what kind is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is also a lesson to be learned in life, so I won't call it spoiling.  It is more an exposure to a normal life situation a child will and should be able to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only dangerous things (careless crossing of streets in cities, touching ovens, fiddling power sockets, etc.) and unhealthy ones (smoking, drinking, maybe even staying up late) should be avoided of course.  In these cases treat your parents with the same consequence as you should treat your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6687" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T09:54:08.703" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11266" CreationDate="2014-01-29T11:42:51.710" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not related to leap pad, but I have downloaded some apps from google play store into my Android phone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I give my twins aged 2 years the phone after selecting one of the apps to play in the morning. These may not be as advanced as the ones in Leap pad but they do enjoy these. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are animal sounds with pictures, click on alphabet and see an animated animal with some music, a paint application where you can pick and color etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I selected these by searching for &quot;toddlers&quot; in the play store&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3625" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T11:42:51.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2888" CreationDate="2014-01-29T12:01:48.923" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to zoom out and look at the bigger picture. First decide &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; you (as a family) want to accomplish, and &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;, and then figure out &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt;. Then do the same on a lower level to determine the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Goal&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What:&lt;/strong&gt; We want the members of our family to be safe.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Why:&lt;/strong&gt; Because we love each other and don't want any harm to come to us.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;How:&lt;/strong&gt; Therefore, we will need some rules to guard our safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Rule&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What:&lt;/strong&gt; We want to know where you are and where you're going to.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Why:&lt;/strong&gt; So we know where to reach you in case of an emergency, or where to look if something happens to you.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;How:&lt;/strong&gt; Therefore, let us know where you're going, don't go somewhere else without letting us know, and take the emergency cellphone (assuming they're too young for their own cellphone) if needed (for instance, when trick-or-treating).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you could make 'communication' the goal and arrive at a similar rule, but from a different viewpoint ('so we know where to reach you if plans change / when diner is ready').&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is that rules by themselves can seem arbitrary and be subject to rules-lawyering, while this way, they're part of a bigger whole. (For instance, 'safety' can lead to not just rules but measures as well, like smoke detectors and fire blankets).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the parents will have final say, the children can be involved in setting up the rules. That way, they should feel they co-own the rules; if they break a rule, they not just broke &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; rule, they broke their &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't be afraid to accept rules the children may come up with. The goal 'hapiness' can lead to a rule that 'the family should play a game for at least an hour each saturday'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T12:01:48.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10683" CreationDate="2014-01-29T13:21:51.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem here for me is that I lack context regarding Bangalore, so my advice is going to be pretty generic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, this is less critical than you might think. Between 2 and 4 is no more a critical time when your child needs to be at school than between 7 and 9. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1053324/is-my-child-ready-for-school&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;In countries like Britain, 4 to 5 is the norm.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nfer.ac.uk/nfer/index.cfm?9B1C0068-C29E-AD4D-0AEC-8B4F43F54A28&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;In Scandinavian countries, 6 to 7&lt;/a&gt; is. If they miss out on some schooling from 2 till 4, they would still be able to catch up, and if you're supporting their learning at home by working on their reading and maths skills, they'll probably be fine in their class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, you have a risk here, and you need to understand and control it. I don't understand Bangalore's education system well enough to comment on the consequences of missing NPS from 2.5 to 4 and then not getting into Mission School, but &lt;strong&gt;you should&lt;/strong&gt;. Will they still get educated? What quality will that education be? &lt;strong&gt;Make contact with parents who've sent their children to the Mission schools and to NPS, and talk to them about that. Do the research into what happens if your child waits and then doesn't get in.&lt;/strong&gt; This should be something that the mission school should be able to help you with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also important to aim for what you want. When talking to the Mission School parents, make sure they leave the conversation thinking of you and your child as someone they'd like to be a part of their child's school. When talking to the Mission School, make sure that they know that they're your first choice, you just want to shield your child from any consequences of your decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps, and good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T13:21:51.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11272" CreationDate="2014-01-29T13:23:51.777" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This would be one of those situations where I'd suggest the use of a wraparound sling (like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kari-me.com&quot;&gt;Kari-Me&lt;/a&gt;) as an addition to your existing double-buggy.  That way you can carry the youngest one comfortably initially and later when the eldest is walking more and further it is small and light enough to keep with you for when they get tired (or just need strapping in) and you can carry the youngest while the big one goes in the buggy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you only use it for 18 months (and it's good for up to 3yr olds) the eldest will be heading for 5 and be quite happy either walking or with a buggy-board and means you don't have to buy a new buggy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T13:23:51.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11282" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-29T15:01:18.447" Score="11" ViewCount="569" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents were divorced and separated by the time I was in school.  My mother worked full time, and didn't get home until several hours after school ended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result, I was what is known as a &quot;latchkey kid&quot;, meaning that I had a key to the house, and after school, I would return home to an empty house, and be on my own for several hours each day (if I recall correctly, from about 3 p.m. until roughly 6 p.m.).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was roughly 30 years ago, though, and a lot has changed since then (at least in attitudes about child safety, research, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this practice still considered acceptable?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T18:18:36.667" Title="Is it okay for my child to be a &quot;latchkey kid&quot;?" Tags="|primary-schooler|safety|middle-childhood|supervision|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11283" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-29T15:53:57.320" Score="14" ViewCount="3617" Body="&lt;p&gt;Playing favorites with one's children is clearly a moral grey area at best...so why do we do it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a personality psychologist by training, and particularly well-exposed to &lt;a href=&quot;https://mctfr.psych.umn.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;heritability research through my alma mater&lt;/a&gt;, so I can appreciate the power of genetic variation and individual experience on personality. Sex of the parent may determine the favored sex, and I'd bet that the rarer sex among more than two siblings of different sexes would see some special treatment more often than not too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the primary factors that can contribute towards parental favoritism towards their children, and how can it be avoided and overcome?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it ever okay? Even if not, are there relatively good reasons that are particularly worthy of sympathy or difficult to avoid as a parent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA; &#xA; &#xA; &#xA;&lt;p&gt;This post is inspired by the question &lt;a href=&quot;https://cogsci.stackexchange.com/q/5543/4012&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Why do some parents prefer some children more than others?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;Also, on &lt;em&gt;a personal note&lt;/em&gt;, I'm not a parent yet myself, but I plan to be, and am leaning toward fathering more than one. I'm an only child, so I have no direct familial experience myself, and limited access to the intimate details of my friends' experiences with their parents and siblings. We're all just reaching the parenting age ourselves, so no one I know personally has had to grapple with favoritism toward their own children either, as far as I know.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6389" LastEditorUserId="6389" LastEditDate="2022-10-27T05:54:39.613" LastActivityDate="2022-10-28T19:34:57.580" Title="Why do some parents have a favorite (or least favorite) child? How can this be avoided?" Tags="|social-development|siblings|psychology|personality|favoritism|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11283" CreationDate="2014-01-29T16:20:13.503" Score="7" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Why do some parents have a favorite (or least favorite) child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One possible answer would be that there are parents who want to see a version of themselves in their children - or what they would like to have been. The children that match that view are favored, those who don't are less favored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine a major league football player who has a son who goes into art school. If the parent is one of those I am writing about, he will dislike the child, since he did not go into his footsteps. However, the situation may be opposite if the parent was a painter or a sculptor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Such approach is wrong. We should love our children unconditionally and let them become - professionally - whatever they want to become. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important thing is what kind of person they will become. Our role is to teach them to be good, to respect other people, to be tolerant. And not to force them to becoming mirror images of us. In such cases the mirror turns out to be heavily distorting... And the children end up unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T16:20:13.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11282" CreationDate="2014-01-29T17:52:35.087" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had no real problem with our two eldest having keys at 9 and 11 respectively - but they had strict instructions as to what they could do (homework, a bit of TV or a book) and couldn't (cook, leave the house etc) and we knew that in the worst case we could probably call on a neighbour to pop round and get them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of our approach is that we were like you, and would head home sometimes to an empty house and back 30 years ago that was fine. I like to treat my family the same way, as in real terms the risks have reduced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will depend on your kids though - are they the responsible type?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ours know that one slip up would remove a lot of their perks, so they behave pretty well :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T17:52:35.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11282" CreationDate="2014-01-29T17:53:08.543" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect the answer depends on circumstances - not only specific age, but the kid, the local laws, the school regulations, the neighborhood, etc.  Elementary schools may not allow a child to go home on his/her own; and local laws may prohibit it for certain age ranges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I don't worry about the safety side of this, so long as you're in a reasonably good neighborhood and don't live too far away (no crossing major streets, etc.), and the child is 7 or 8 and reasonably mature.  Child abductions by strangers are extremely rare, and even at that age a mature child should understand not to take candy from strangers or go with someone they don't know.  This is conditional on the neighborhood being reasonably safe, however; the larger danger in an unsafe neighborhood is from other children (gangs, bullying, etc.), especially as they get into middle school and high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Supervision is probably more relevant, to me - is the child someone who you can trust to come home when he/she is told, to do his/her homework without being prompted, etc.?  I certainly could and did; my brother would've had more trouble especially by high school.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids may or may not be latchkey kids, depending on when my wife goes back to work full time; but we live a block from the elementary school and in a very good neighborhood.  I'm sure we'll allow them to walk to/from school as soon as they're allowed.  We'll see how mature they are at that point - I'd like to hope they're quite mature for their ages, but only so much we can do on that part :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T17:53:08.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11282" CreationDate="2014-01-29T18:18:36.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had a key since I was 10. I don't recall thinking about it being a good or bad thing. I could go out and play outside, I could stay at home and play some console games, read or do my homework. Sure, I broke some things while experimenting, I even set a ping-pong ball on fire (it burns AND bounces around when you drop it, not a good combination). It didn't stop my parents from trusting me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my child is reasonably responsible by the time she reaches the &quot;law allows her to be left alone&quot; age (there wasn't such law when I was little, as far as I'm aware of) I'll give her a key. Especially that nowadays there are mush less dangers at home than there used to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T18:18:36.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11288" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11294" CreationDate="2014-01-29T18:28:58.753" Score="17" ViewCount="41281" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before our girls were born, I told my husband that I didn't want to go through &quot;crying it out&quot; because I knew I wouldn't be comfortable with it. At the time he agreed with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, after close to 8 months of sleep deprivation, and friends of my husband telling us about sleep training, my husband wants us to let one of the girls cry out.&#xA;He claims that she NEEDS to learn how to fall asleep by herself and that she won't learn if we don't help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought that babies/kids would learn at some point to fall asleep on their own, even if parents have been helping them the whole time (picking them up when they really cry).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I wrong thinking that with time, she'll learn? And is it something that can last for YEARS or is it more a matter of MONTHS?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;I'm mostly talking about the part where they fall asleep without crying at the beginning of the night, not so much about night wakings. My husband thinks that one of the girls can't learn by herself since she doesn't calm down with patting/singing/rocking, but only with nursing, which means we always have to pick her up (otherwise she'll wake her sister up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Context:&#xA;We have 2 baby girls of almost 8 months old, one of them sleeps ok(ish) during the night, the other one started refusing sleeping in her own crib about a month ago. We've been co-sleeping with this one, allowing her to nurse back to sleep more easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a bedtime routine such as: I come home and nurse them, we play/sing/read, daddy comes home and we give a bath, then pjs, some solid food (usually fruit+oat cereal), then we go to their bedroom, I nurse them again while we put some rain sound, we dim the lights and we read &quot;Goodnight moon&quot;, we give a kiss/cuddle/say &quot;goodnight, we love you&quot; and put them down.&#xA;When we put them down, they are unfortunately sleeping and not drowsy (it hasn't worked AT ALL for us), and the bad sleeper just starts screaming as soon as she lands!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Quick note: only nursing usually calms her down, when she starts crying and we pick her up, she's escalate even in our arms to a raging point that is pretty impressive :().&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did ask my parents, my brother, close friends how they got their babies to sleep and if they ever let their babies cry to sleep ; all of them said they would just pick up the baby and rock/cuddle/sing ... and that they didn't let their baby cry more than 5-10 minutes. However, all these babies were sleeping in their cribs / through the night (or at least a good chunk of the night) before they reached 6 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really would like to show my husband that she'll learn at some point to fall asleep by herself (I mean, teenagers don't have to be rocked to sleep, right? :)), and that letting her cry it out is not the only solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3539" LastEditorUserId="3539" LastEditDate="2014-01-30T19:33:45.207" LastActivityDate="2019-09-23T11:50:54.447" Title="Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?" Tags="|sleep|parents|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11288" CreationDate="2014-01-29T19:32:36.990" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a wide variety of &quot;cry it out&quot; techniques. I am vigorously opposed to most of them.  Some of the 'gentler' techniques are valuable for sleep training.  They work within two weeks, they do not allow the child to get too distressed, and they support the parent and child through a short but difficult transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Cry it out&quot; is the term used for the more unpleasant methods.  &quot;Controlled crying&quot; is a term used in the UK for gentler methods.  And there's &quot;no tears&quot; techniques.  Here's some information about no tears techniques - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-no-tears-methods_1497581.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-no-tears-methods_1497581.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to try to use cry it out techniques there is some information here - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc?page=1&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc?page=1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They get some important points wrong. You must wait until the child is at least 6 months old.  The Ferber method has wait times that are too long.  You should increase the time out by one minute each time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T19:32:36.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11288" CreationDate="2014-01-29T21:03:39.667" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies are unique individuals.  Some babies certainly do learn to fall asleep on their own very quickly.  Others don't.  My first one still doesn't fall asleep very well - at 2.5 years old.  My second one goes to sleep very well - not perfect, but probably average or above average.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of age-related steps, the biggest one is solid foods.  Once the baby starts eating a lot of solid foods - particularly, starts eating proteins and fatty foods that will fill him/her up for several hours - it becomes much easier to both fall asleep and to not wake up hungry.  Both of mine became much easier to deal with once they started eating solid foods for the majority of their caloric needs (both by 8 months, though mine were both pretty big and physically mature fairly early).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of psychology, one of the biggest questions is, is the baby waking because s/he is hungry, or because of psychological need for comfort?  That's pretty hard to tell, but typically for us we find that we can tell the difference if we try to put our little one back to sleep.  If he goes back to sleep reasonably quickly, he's fine; if he cries through it and refuses to go back to sleep, and has a particular sort of cry, he's hungry.  Usually we know in advance it's likely, because he didn't eat very well that day for dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how to start it off, you don't have to 'cry it out' to sleep train.  Cry it out, to me, implies letting the child cry for 30 minutes, an hour, whatever - and that to me is a bad idea as well.  It's possible your child has a need, after all, that you are ignoring.&#xA;The way that worked for us, was two things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, stop cosleeping; that's a crutch for both of you, and nothing will change if you don't go back to the crib.  (Nothing wrong with cosleeping, but if your goal is to get her to sleep on her own, it hinders that.)  Set your routine up so you feed her before bed, but don't allow her to go to sleep eating; feed her in the living room or somewhere else, and then take her into the bedroom 10-15 minutes later.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, when you get her down, sooth her with touch and sound.  Petting the tummy works well for us, soft strokes vertically up and down.  Then I sing a soft, easy song, something highly repetitive and easy to remember for me - Frere Jacques, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, that sort of thing.  I adapt the song to the child's name sometimes, which at least amuses me if not the baby :)  She may cry some during this time, but you're there comforting her (but not lying down); she's not going to feel abandoned, and you can fix anything that actually is wrong.  Some kids just can't do 'no tears', but the limited cries that you get in this sort of method are more complaints than truly being upset - this is the only way they can communicate, after all, at this age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're going to do something like this, make it as likely to succeed as possible.  Start on a night where you wear her out - not overtired, but ready to sleep for sure.  Start doing it close to feedings and move it a bit further out each night.  Make sure she ate a lot that day and has a good night diaper on to keep that from causing trouble.  And don't worry too much about being perfect; you'll have some reversions undoubtedly but if you keep trying your baby will get there eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T21:03:39.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11288" CreationDate="2014-01-29T22:23:00.397" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, you don't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to do anything, but the sooner you can comfortably get your family to a regular sleep routine that both you and your kids can count on, the happier you'll all be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got both of our kids to where they could be in bed, (quiet and seemingly happy) by the time they were about five months old.  It was hard, especially for my wife, but today, our kids (2.5y and 9 mo) spend 11-12 hours asleep or in bed quietly (well, the older one sings some nights, but I like that), and they look forward to their bedtime routine and don't fight it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are the two most important pieces advice I can give you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Strategic Advice:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stop thinking of sleep training as something you're doing to make &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; life easier, and remember that you're doing this &lt;em&gt;for your baby.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;  They need can get the rest and security that come from getting a good nights sleep at the same time every day.  Helping your baby learn how to sleep is hard, and it'll eat you up if you lose sight of the fact that it's more for them than you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pick a plan with your spouse, and agree that you'll both stick with it&lt;/strong&gt;. It's okay if it's not the one I recommend below, but &lt;em&gt;you have to both agree very specifically to the plan.&lt;/em&gt; Agree that no changes will be made to the plan at night - you &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; convince yourself that every night is special, and exceptions should be made, but your goal is to give your child a routine they can trust and count on as a safe, consistent part of their life.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tactical Advice:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd buy this book and give it a try - we found it to be an incredibly effective approach that didn't eat us up too much, because there's a known time limit you'll let crying go for, and it's easier to stick with than some, because it lays our very specific rules: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0525949593&quot;&gt;Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old: A Step-by-Step Plan for Baby Sleep Success&lt;/a&gt; (It used to be called &quot;The Baby Sleep Solution.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's short, practical, and was extremely effective for us.  (We didn't do it quite as early as they suggest - we started between 12 and 16 weeks.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to read the book to use it, but the key components are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start with the feeding routine: do what's needed to be sure your baby won't be hungry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Establish a regular routine&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't do things that reinforce nighttime crying (picking the baby up out of the crib, lots of talking, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Slowly wean off nightime feedings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Established fixed, limited periods of crying - we did 5 minutes -  after which you can go in and soothe the baby without picking them up (rub their belly, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once they calm, you leave, and reset the clock if they start again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing we liked was that it's very focused on a quick path to self-soothing, but with the minimal stress possible, and &lt;em&gt;limited stress periods.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the hardest part of sleep training is the stress over &quot;how long you can endure the crying&quot;.  So a five minute max was very helpful for us.  You know you both (you and the baby) can go that long, so it's a lot easier to stick with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sleep training is really worth it.  You'll have happier kids, and they'll have more engaged parents.  You can do it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="2829" LastEditDate="2014-01-29T22:31:40.817" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T22:31:40.817" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11283" CreationDate="2014-01-29T23:41:26.893" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, recognize there is a difference between &lt;em&gt;having&lt;/em&gt; a favorite, and engaging in &lt;em&gt;favoritism&lt;/em&gt;.  I think having a favorite is somewhat unavoidable, unless your children all happen to have personalities that mesh equally well with yours.  When having a favorite becomes problematic is when you let it affect your words and actions toward your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The distinction between having a favorite and engaging in favoritism can be seen in some of the contradictory results from &lt;a href=&quot;https://cogsci.stackexchange.com/a/5556&quot;&gt;this related cogsci answer&lt;/a&gt;.  75% of children felt they were the &lt;em&gt;favorite&lt;/em&gt;, but only 10% felt they were &lt;em&gt;favored&lt;/em&gt;.  In my opinion, most conscientious parents (in Western cultures at least) are aware of their bias, but actively work to overcome it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reasons for having a favorite child are similar to reasons for having a favorite friend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your personalities mesh better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They cause you less grief.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They don't get on your nerves.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They respond better to your natural parenting style.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They listen to you more.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They actively seek ways to help you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They have similar interests.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are more naturally affectionate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They aren't as needy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, your favorite can change over time, as your and your children's personalities develop.  I think this is one reason why eldest and youngest children are more likely to be favorites than the middle child.  The eldest has more maturity first and the youngest enters behavioral phases last, after parents already have experience dealing with those phases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some might argue that many of these reasons are a result of favoritism, not a cause, but in my opinion these attributes are primarily nature, not nurture.  Otherwise, why wouldn't &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; your kids be nurtured to be like your favorite?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way to avoid favoritism is to be aware you have a risk of it, and basically constantly evaluate yourself.  Make it a point to spend time with each child in equal measure.  Young kids especially are keenly aware of any appearance of unfairness and this is actually very useful in learning to overcome your bias.  If you've done too much with one child, the others usually have &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt; problem reminding you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find yourself disciplining one child more than another, make a point to frequently evaluate if you are doing it because he truly needs it more, or because you are engaging in favoritism.  Make rules and consequences as consistent as possible between children, taking into account their individual ages and ability levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:56:18.177" LastActivityDate="2014-01-29T23:41:26.893" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11288" CreationDate="2014-01-30T00:00:01.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We didn't use the cry it out technique, and finally she sleeps through the night (mostly), after nearly 2 years. These days there is generally crying when putting her to sleep, though sometimes she just isn't tired when we want her to go to sleep, so there'll be some protesting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We never left her to cry alone. If she ever cried, we laid next to her. It never worked to put her down to fall asleep on her own, as she simply wouldn't. Some days she will be asleep within 10 minutes, some days it will take an hour. We co-sleep with her. Some nights she sleeps like a log, some nights she is clingy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in theory, you don't need to employ the cry it out method. But beware of the consequences. It may take a long time to regain your evenings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-01-30T00:00:01.137" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11288" CreationDate="2014-01-30T00:05:47.910" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did not &quot;sleep train&quot; in the sense your husband is referring to and our daughter is now a fabulous sleeper (at seven). Idon't think it is required (nor do I think it means automatically happier kids or more engaged parents).  However, as with all things there are trade-offs to be considered on either side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience if you sleep train through snuggling and cuddling (like we did) until they're ready for more independent sleep without a lot of tears, it just might be years before bedtime is a quick 10-20 minute process for you.  At the same time, my kid was a very happy connected kid that got all the cuddling and comfort she needed for as long as she needed it at bed-time and once asleep, she slept very well once she was past nursing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11290/2876&quot;&gt;Joe&lt;/a&gt; points out, at about 8-9 months they typically really do start having foods that are much more filling - long term and start waking up during the night a lot less.  That means you are likely to start getting more sleep either way than you are now (except when your child is ill, or teething, or going through a growth spurt. . . )  I don't really believe the parents of sleep trained babies ever got that much more sleep than I did (I have nannied for families that use this method so have more ability to compare than most who do only one or the other method), so until some one shows me an un-biased study that proves it equals more sleep, I'll probably remain skeptical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I do think I gave up in order to avoid any sort of &quot;crying it out&quot; or &quot;no tears,&quot; is quiet time with my husband between when she was about 2 and 2 1/2 in the evenings for TV viewing and whatever in that 8:00 to 10:00 time period because it took a long time for her to fall asleep when we were transitioning her to falling asleep without cuddling.  We did the whole sit with her, rub her back, stay in the room until she was asleep thing for a month or so, then we had a chair we sat in that moved further and further from the bed and closer and closer to the door of her room and finally into the hall. . . (you get the idea).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also had a baby that was easy to transfer so we could snuggle with her, transfer her to her bed (when needed) and then be on our merry way before the transition described above.  This actually hardly took any time at all and everyone still slept really well (and had their own space) by the time she was just past 18 months, but some babies are a lot harder to transfer than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I don't personally think one way is actually healthier in the long run - I know there are a lot of people out there that will disagree with me, but think about it, for centuries everyone slept in the same room in most households and it is still this way in many parts of the world.  The whole idea of a nursery only came about in the late 1800's and even then it was only in the wealthiest households at first.  The idea that your child will be psychologically injured and unable to sleep on her own for life if you don't sleep train is absurd.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Having said that&lt;/strong&gt; it is extremely easy to put a sleep trained baby down for bed or down for a nap and takes minutes throughout those first two years as opposed to the somewhat longer process we had in my house.  Your baby is more independent in sleep sooner, which affords you more independence as well.  That is a pretty huge advantage.  Sleep trained babies can still get their cuddles and affection at other times of the day, and once the training process is over, you'll be back to getting more sleep again.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you both read the book related to whichever methods you'd like to look into.  Also check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/31-ways-get-your-baby-sleep-and-stay-asleep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dr. Sears&lt;/a&gt; who, while controversial, offers up the opposing viewpoint and its benefits and the specific &quot;how to's&quot; and then have a candid conversation about the sacrifices each of you wants to make or not in regard to your choice here.  Dr. Sears also outlines some &quot;in between&quot; ideas btw.  Come up with a plan you think will work for the both of you and then stick to it for at least a few weeks (changing plans frequently is a good way to undermine the work you do in any direction).  Then, re-evaluate if you need to and keep your communication on the matter open and loving.  &lt;strong&gt;Whatever you do, it will work best if you both use the same plan and support each-other in it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just as a heads-up if you aren't already aware: It is also possible she is teething and that this stage may pass as quickly as it has come.  I also thought that although maybe you have seen these, maybe not.  Perhaps some of these different but related questions and their answers might have some helpful information, tips or ideas within them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3827/2876&quot;&gt;Are there techniques for actually teaching a child how to sooth itself?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/10840/2876&quot;&gt;When should we start lulling our baby back to sleep in her own bed?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/9124/2876&quot;&gt;Help with Sleep Training&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also found &lt;a href=&quot;http://scienceofmom.com/2012/04/03/6-little-secrets-of-a-sleeping-baby/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;6 little secrets of sleeping baby&lt;/a&gt; to be interesting and helpful in soothing parental nerves regarding the matter of sleep and babies very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, it seems you and your husband have a decision to make together regarding bed and sleep, but it sounds as though your real concern is in how to sooth your little girl &lt;strong&gt;without&lt;/strong&gt; nursing - a tough question in your case.  We do not already have a question (that I found on a cursory glimpse) &quot;How do I stop being a human pacifier?&quot; but perhaps &lt;strong&gt;also&lt;/strong&gt; asking that separate question will garner some additional ideas and advice from parents that had a similar problem at other points in the day than just at bedtime.  Even so, some of it could still be applicable to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T13:43:07.290" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8995" CreationDate="2014-01-30T02:32:31.387" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow, you are almost literally in the same situation my wife and I were in about a week ago. Over five days we&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;applied Desitin Maximum Strength to the butt rash each diaper change, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gave her an hour of diaper-free time in the morning, and &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gave her a bath at night with Aveeno Baby Soothing Baby Bath&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took a few more days after for the rash to go away completely. We switched the zinc cream back to regular Penaten cream (good for less severe rashes) for those days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rosy cheeks bit we're just trying a moisturizer for now, because if it is related to teething it sounds like there's not much that can be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6691" LastActivityDate="2014-01-30T02:32:31.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11297" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11303" CreationDate="2014-01-30T08:35:06.227" Score="11" ViewCount="546" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our oldest daughter is now in fourth grade. Since school start, she has been part of a group of four girls, which have spent a lot of time together and having a lot of fun. Either all four, three of them or just two by two. Nothing has previously made them feel uncomfortable being around each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they turned 10, things changed. It seems like they have grown apart from each other where the growing distance between them has put them all in a position where they try to prove to each other that their way is the right way. That what they think is correct and everybody else is wrong. Sometimes this leads to harsh language and on rare occasions violent behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are playing with the idea of maybe moving to another area of the town where our daughter belongs to another school district and will get new friends. However, we might be thinking wrong, since this behavior may be normal, and a change of school would not solve the problem. So;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does a group of girls naturally split at the age of 10-11?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user6693" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-10T12:18:38.327" LastActivityDate="2019-07-10T12:18:38.327" Title="Does a group of girls naturally split at the age of 10-11?" Tags="|behavior|middle-childhood|friends|girls|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11298" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-30T13:47:42.280" Score="9" ViewCount="248" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six year-old son got a Lego&amp;reg; set for Christmas, his first because we finally don't have choking hazard age children in the house, but we've always had blocks and other building toys around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've always heard that children are naturally creative, and all you have to do is give them the tools and get out of their way.  However, although my son loves the Legos, he only makes the same thing over and over:  cars.  And it's not like he makes lots of different kinds of cars.  He makes nearly identical cars, and gets excited about extremely minor variations, like adding a single brick to the back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm unsure how to respond to his excitement.  On one hand, I want to encourage creativity.  On the other hand, what he is doing isn't exactly creative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we encourage him to make something else, he insists this Lego set is only for cars (it's what was pictured on the box).  When we play with him and make something else, he says something like, &quot;Cool house Dad!  I'm going to make a car!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I respond to his excitement over repetitive creations?  Should I even be concerned about them at this point?  Should we force him to try something else?  He almost certainly has ADHD, and possibly also something like Asperger's, if that affects the answer.  We are working on getting a diagnosis and professional advice.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-02-01T16:56:01.883" Title="How to inspire more creativity in play?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11266" CreationDate="2014-01-30T15:53:50.907" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter loves the painting/drawing apps on android and iOS. She also likes the animal sound apps. I have not found many that are truly educational.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6694" LastActivityDate="2014-01-30T15:53:50.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11298" CreationDate="2014-01-30T17:27:22.313" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6yr old. He does not like Legos. I dont think he likes to be creative. He will draw only when I tell him. Every since he was baby people did not like his attitude and would say &quot;what is wrong with him?&quot;. I'd just say &quot;Can you be a little less bias and subjective?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just got to know my son and worked with that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has sensitive feelings. Yet strong confidence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He loves when people read to him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He likes to read and write.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He loves cars and skateboards.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He loves movies and understands the plot. Even at 4yrs old.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He likes to help around the house with chores.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He gets things done. Not idle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is bold and courageous - if it's fun, he will throw himself into it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He wants to be a cop to meet Batman&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically what I'm saying is that every kid is creative in his own way. Just find out how.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6067" LastActivityDate="2014-01-30T17:27:22.313" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11298" CreationDate="2014-01-30T18:59:53.840" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;They also sell boxes of bricks.  Try getting him one of these and tell him it's for building wild and crazy things.  See what happens.  If he's totally stuck, give him suggestions, and (as AaronKorn suggests) don't worry about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you can respond to his excitement by asking questions?  Ask him why he's so excited, or why does that extra brick make it a better car?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to pursue the creativity aspect, and he's car-obsessed, try giving him something it would be a little harder to make cars out of, pasta shapes and paper and glue, for example, or sofa cushions and throw pillows, and see if he can come up with something.  See if he can make a car with recycled materials.  The concept of re-purposing (if you haven't played with it already) stuff may strike a response.  Ask him if he can draw a comic strip with cars talking to each other.  (You may have to show him how to draw a basic car first.)  Basically, try different media, and see if the theme inspires him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people have their own inner vision of stuff that they are eager to implement in the real world, and others (like myself) need a goal or suggestion.  My daughter is never at a loss when someone asks her to make or draw or build something.  She used to build Lego cars, too:  multi-story, fantastical structures with windows and balconies.  It never would have occurred to me to make anything like that.  Give me something to draw/build/code and I'll draw/build/code it.  Tell me to draw/build/code &quot;something&quot; and I'm stuck.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2014-01-31T17:17:41.513" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T17:17:41.513" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11298" CreationDate="2014-01-30T19:35:10.977" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think that building lots of cars with minor variations &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; creative.  That's how an engineer works most of the time; takes a known design and fiddles with it oh-so-slightly to make it just slightly better.  Obviously your son likes the car design he's come up with and just tinkers with it slightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, he could well be exploring his creativity in other ways - playing with the cars, imagining things, etc.  Creativity comes in many different flavors.  As long as you're providing the tools, he'll work things out in his own way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-01-30T19:35:10.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11297" CreationDate="2014-01-30T20:34:40.983" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is an element of this that is a natural part of growing up.  Kids mature at different ages and when they start maturing socially and a different rate from friends it can create strain.  What one girl considers fun, the other will no longer think is fun because it is something &quot;younger kids&quot; do.  The more mature one, may be more interested in boys and conversation than pretend play and the like.  The troublesome part is that it never happens so clearly and distinctly as to make a parent able to just blame that.  They can be wanting the &quot;grown up stuff&quot; one day and good old-fashioned play they used to do the next.  Fights never look like they are over these issues on the surface, but may stem from this anyway if you look more closely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, just as a woman not quite old enough for menopause, but past the age of having children might have symptoms of being &quot;peri-menopausal&quot; girls who aren't actually having their period yet, can still have hormonal fluctuations that make them moody, super-sensitive etc. etc. (This happens with boys too btw).  At this age, many kids start developing that sense of being mis-uderstood.  This happens with friends and parents and stems from the fact that most of us are not really very good listeners.  This is another part of the emotional state (of anyone at any age really) that can create even further misunderstanding and fights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adolescence can begin as early as fourth grade, but even if that isn't the exact cause here, drifting apart from friends as well as having drag out fights with friends are both likely things in your daughter's future.  Rather than moving  and trying to help her avoid the situation (or fix it), I'd suggest helping her learn some coping skills as well as conflict resolution skills (paraphrasing, summarizing, use of &quot;I statements&quot;, being able to ask clarifying questions . . .)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, don't try to &quot;fix&quot; stuff for her but be there for her by just listening to what she is going through and supporting her as the loving parent you are.  Ask her what she thinks might &quot;fix&quot; the problem and then ask her what she thinks the ultimate consequence of any of her &quot;fix&quot; ideas might be.  Start asking her to analyze her ideas for solutions.  This will help her learn some of those conflict resolution skills as well as coping skills I mention above, but it will also ensure she knows you love, support and respect her and that you are there for her, but that you &lt;strong&gt;can't&lt;/strong&gt; just fix everything either - another lesson that needs to come along with growing up.  As she gets older, it will also help prevent her from feeling misunderstood by you as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also share stories from your own childhood about fights with friends and overcoming those, and start reading some, &quot;coming of age&quot; books together that also introduce characters that have to deal with similar conflicts.  Anne of Green Gables and Berverly Cleary books come to mind as great classics for this purpose, but there are a ton of them out there and I'm sure a children's librarian in your area can help you find just the right thing for your daughter, her interests and circumstances as well as reading level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-01-30T20:42:33.810" LastActivityDate="2014-01-30T20:42:33.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11298" CreationDate="2014-01-30T20:58:54.913" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried asking him if he can figure out how to make a car that seats seven lego people instead of one or two?  Have you asked him if he can figure out how to make a bus, truck? . . . It might still fit in his &quot;rules&quot; for the set as well as push him further and yet seem encouraging. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter went through something similar when her uncle bought her a kit for making buzz lightyear.  It was fun to learn to follow the directions, but frustrating for her because she was so young.  After enough times of building other things with the legos and her seeing that as well as questions similar to the ones I ask above, we did add a &quot;generic&quot; set of bricks and she started incorporating the buzz kit blocks in with other creations.  It seemed to open her mind a bit more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside of that, I'd suggest just giving him some time.  It is a new toy, he is exploring it his way and having fun with it for now, but eventually he will get bored with the same old thing too.  At that point, he'll have seen you and maybe his siblings build other things too and may try doing so for himself out of the need for something new alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-01-30T20:58:54.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11228" CreationDate="2014-01-30T21:45:31.227" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Prior to my response to your question, it is worth noting that you started with question #2. The order should be: 1. Are the behaviors a discipline issue, and 2. what do I do about them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To those who suggested talking to the child, etc. It is worth considering that 5 years old is far too early for reasoning with a child, the child does not have the required reasoning skills (for more in depth, see: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piaget%27s_theory_of_cognitive_development&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Piaget's theory of cognitive development&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children, especially in early developmental stages, are typically yet to develop a true sense of self, they consider their environment (parents, etc.) an extension of themselves, and as a result tend to feel responsible for anything (good or bad) that happens. You mention the separation of the child's father and yourself, is there a possible relationship between that separation and the Childs behavior. It is not unfeasible that the child is expressing anxiety. Remember, children at this age do not have the tools of expression that us adults have (or should have).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Has the child been in therapy since the separation? Regardless of age, separation of parents severs a child between two conflicting entities, a situation which in itself, can cause significant anxiety to a child. This is always true! Even when a separation is for legitimate reasons, from the child’s perspective it is still his/her parent. If the answer is no, then you will do the child (and yourself) a huge service by making that happen. If you cannot afford it, federal, state, and local agencies have myriads of free support and counseling services, especially for children.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is worth observing if these behaviors are worse prior to, or after the child speaks to, or spends time with his father. Possibly the most emotionally difficult aspect for children of divorce is what professionals call 'Transition' between parents. Google it, you will find lots of material on the topic, and how to best facilitate the process to the benefit of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be sure to never alienate the child’s father or speak negatively about the father in the presence of the child. That in itself puts the child between two adults, which frightens the child, and can cause high anxiety levels. Again, google 'Parental Alienation' and you will find lots of info on the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You discuss discipline, while I'm a fan of discipline, it must be applied:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the problem is truly a discipline issue (see points 1-4)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in the appropriate way (both age, and child appropriate)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At the appropriate time (don't discipline a child for something they did yesterday).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;for the correct reasons (not because our boss yelled at us and we are on edge).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The discipline measures you described are negative in nature, have your tried positive discipline? For instance, instead of you will lose xyz because you did ABC, how about if you don't do ABC for the next day or two, I will treat you to something.. The timespans cannot be that large, since children of this age do not have that level of patience, so you end up setting them up for failure.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In general, discipline should be forewarned. How would you feel if your boss said &quot;I'm deducting 400 from your compensation, because you could have spoken nicer to the client&quot;, you would have expected a warning, and even then, taking something away, breeds resentment, and (in most cases) does not match the crime. Which brings me to the next point:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I would be very careful (even for yourself) before labeling a child as having mental issues. Feeling that way (even if you do not verbalize it) comes across in your attitude to the child, and can have a negative effect. I would exhaust other measures before making that call.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My final suggestion, and summary of prior suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get the kid into therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shower the kid with positive love, even if you feel like ... and are not in the mood..&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Observe patterns and times of behavior, and identify if it is related to 'Transition'&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid parental alienation, at all costs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try positive discipline.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider your child to be the 'best thing since sliced bread', avoid thinking of your child as a mental case, but as a gift which you will nurture, and cherish. The kid will feel it!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My final suggestion: Every kid, even one with high anxiety levels can benefit from TRUE and HEALTHY discipline, my suggestion to you, is to pick up a copy of &quot;1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2–12&quot; by Dr. Thomas Phelan, it is a classic, and really works (but only if you follow it to the T).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.123magic.com/All-Products/1-2-3-Magic-Parenting/1-2-3-Magic-Book-4th-Edition&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.123magic.com/All-Products/1-2-3-Magic-Parenting/1-2-3-Magic-Book-4th-Edition&lt;/a&gt; (also sold on Amazon, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6697" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-01-31T11:36:56.263" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T11:36:56.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10824" CreationDate="2014-01-31T03:17:25.220" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know you said you wanted something edible but how about a frozen, clean washcloth? My kids LOVED this. I'd wet it, tie it in a knot, and freeze it. Not totally, just until it was stiff. They'd gnaw on it for hours. The thought of fabric in my mouth gives me the willies, truthfully, but as long as they r happy (and safe) I'm happy. I also used to give them whole, peeled apples. Since it's so big it's tough for them to get it into their mouth, thereby reducing the likelihood that they'll bite a piece off. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T03:17:25.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11232" CreationDate="2014-01-31T04:25:55.257" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just coached my best friend through this same situation. I have three children; ages 9, almost 4, and 22 months. I breast fed two of them, bottle fed one. Someone already mentioned that this makes a difference: it does. My bottle fed boy had no trouble sleeping through the night by the time he started polishing off an 8 oz bottle at bedtime (around 20 weeks old ). He woke occasionally, but it was never hunger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other two, breast fed, well...they were both tough to get to sleep through the night. And by &quot;through the night&quot; i mean a solid 6 hours. I don't know why, but breast babies just love to eat (ok, maybe I do know why (-;  )...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned that your baby might be hungry- stuff her to the gills before bed. So, say she goes down around 7:30 and you go to bed at 9; feed her at 9. She'll be sleepy, but do your best to get at least a few minutes in without fully rousing her.  Change the diap if you can get away with it (my boys were easily roused so I only made this mistake once).  This way, you know she has had enough to eat (logically).  If she's waking up at 3 or 4 am, she might be hungry, or, an early riser. My second baby got up at 4 with the birds. He'd have his &quot;breakfast&quot; and then sleep till 9.  This only lasted a few weeks till he just hung out in his crib without needing to eat. More proof that they won't starve to death over night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, if your baby is waking between 11 and 3 am, let her cry for 10 min. It's agonizing (and for us , this meant risking waking the other child(ren)) but listen carefully: is the intensity increasing? Or are there moments of quiet (they stop crying I think to listen &quot; is mommy coming??&quot;) If she seems to be petering out, go a little longer and see if she settles. Sometimes they'll cry off and on for an hour, but as long as it's not desperate, all out wailing, let her be.  If she's ramping it up, have daddy go in and try to comfort her. Nothing extreme. Just a pat, quick hug...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the hug/pat &quot;daddy treatment &quot; doesn't help, try a diaper change. In the crib. In the dark (if daddy can manage). Then repeat the hug/pat procedure. Make sure she's not too hit it cold. Walk away and let her cry again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she settles , awesome. If not, now you can try a quick feeding.  If it lasts for less than 5 minutes, baby wasn't hungry. She MIGHT have been thirsty. Try a humidifier if you're in a very warm climate (and she might be sweating) or if it's cold and dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FYI- i did all of this stuff and still was woken every three hours by my  &quot;Besty best pesty pest&quot;.  I thought my youngest would NEVER sleep through the night, until one night I desperately put him down in my room in a pile of laundry ( whilst i arranged myself for a feeding) and he passed out instantly. Apparently, my scent was enough. I scooped him up, dirty t shirt and all, deposited him very unceremoniously in his crib and he slept like -well, like a baby! - for 5 more hours. Try sleeping with your baby's clean sheets for a couple nights before you put them in the crib and see if she sleeps better when her crib smells just like mommy.  This was kryptonite for my youngest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you get her to quit waking up in the wee hours, adjust the last night feeding to as late as you can stand it at first, then gradually move it closer to the baby's bedtime. This sometimes means she'll wake up earlier. My breast fed kids never went more than 7 hours. I adjusted that window to suit my needs. I wanted to sleep in so I let baby stay up later. You do what suits you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friend just did this with her first baby (always toughest with the first!) and despite her disbelief, and her husband's insistence that the boy was hungry, her baby only cried for ten minutes the first night and then settled on his own, and cried once more two days later for 5 minutes, and now sleeps 8 hours! She has to wake him now because she can't stand the morning engorgement! And he's certainly not losing weight, so, this proves it had nothing to do with a NEED to eat at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, should you let your baby cry it out? I think so. It's really really awful to listen to, but, in the long run, it's worth it to FINALLY get a good nights rest.  An added benefit is that they often sleep better during the day because they know how to drift in and out of sleep on their own.  Someone here mentioned ~45 min of crying...nerves of steel! I've had nights where it lasted a half hour (when my baby was a little older and I KNEW he wasn't hungry-just a pest) and he survived, as did the baby who cried for close to an hour ( persistent little fella!) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Btw : if you think it's hard now - try to imagine getting a two year old to break a bad habit. Not gonna happen. Do it now ! 7 mo olds are MUCH easier to train!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T04:25:55.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11298" CreationDate="2014-01-31T07:38:19.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, I'd say that &lt;em&gt;this is&lt;/em&gt; how he's developing and expressing his creativity. So don't worry about it. But if &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; want to build something else...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cars drive, don't they? So build something for the cars to drive to/on/through. Build a tunnel. A bridge. A garage. A petrolstation. That way, you can introduce other elements while still having cars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;New interests don't (have to) pop up out of nowhere. It's much more natural for them to be related to a current interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T07:38:19.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2014-01-31T15:23:50.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've tried EVERYTHING! I have found 1 WAY to get my toddler to eat eggs. I take two eggs and blend it with one banana and plenty of cinnamon. I then pour and fry (on medium) like a pancake in coconut oil. I began making them when we went grain free for a pancake substitute and they've stuck ever since. I also add some grass-fed butter and OCCASIONALLY raw honey for a treat.  :) Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6702" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T15:23:50.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11288" CreationDate="2014-01-31T16:38:27.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I co-slept with mine, so I don't have any tried and true solutions, but having read your post and the comments you made in response to others' answers, I do have a few suggestions that might help, within your narrowly defined limits... and an observation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The observation is that she seems to know exactly what she's doing.  She wants you to sleep with her and nurse, and she doesn't see why she should settle for anything else.  She seems pretty strong-willed, and she's learned that she can prevail in a battle of wills, so as long as you are unwilling to make her unhappy, this is not likely to change.  Note that I'm not &lt;em&gt;advocating&lt;/em&gt; you do the extreme CIO -- I co-slept, in &lt;em&gt;part&lt;/em&gt; because I &lt;em&gt;wasn't&lt;/em&gt; willing to use the CIO -- just saying that I suspect it's the only thing that will solve the problem in the short term.  (Going forward, BTW, if you stop losing the (sleep) battles with her, by either conceding before a battle starts or winning the next battle, she will eventually forget that she can prevail against you, so things can get better... just not soon.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a twin mattress and put it directly on the floor.  If she can fall asleep with you there, you should be able to leave her there at some point.  Just try not to train her to sleep lightly in response:  make sure she is deeply asleep when you get up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to transfer her need for you to a &quot;lovey&quot;.  Find a stuffed toy (and get a spare in case it works, so you can alternate/wash it without her knowing).  Hold it when you hold her, offer it, cuddle it -- see if you can get her to attach to it.  When you lie down with her on the twin mattress, try to get her to hold it when she is done with the breast.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After she has attached to the lovey, try to get her to accept it in other situations where she needs soothing.  When you are ready to ramp up your efforts to get her to fall asleep by herself, her having her lovey will help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are like me, and get very distressed when you hear your child screaming, consider using earplugs when you do decide to re-engage in this battle.  Moms are hardwired to find it upsetting to hear their kids cry.  My heart rate goes up, small muscles on my face and in my arms tighten.  Babies can sense your distress and this can distress them further.  I found ear plugs negate my body's involuntary response to the sound of my child crying.  I could still hear and see her crying, but it didn't go straight to my nervous system, which allowed me to stay calm, and this helped her calm down much faster than otherwise.  (Note: the ear plugs are only for when you are right there, holding her.  I'm not saying use them to ignore your child, just to tone down your body's involuntary response.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2014-01-31T17:13:43.857" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T17:13:43.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11315" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-31T19:23:05.247" Score="4" ViewCount="3683" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 14 month old girl wakes up about 3 a.m. sometimes screaming bloody murder or just all of a sudden sitting up in bed and watching the ceiling like she sees something. It's spooky. Cats do that sometimes. She is such a lovely baby and a happy baby. This has been going on for a couple of weeks. One time she was screaming eyes wide open and holding her arms straight up. It freaks me out.  Is this normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6704" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2014-02-01T17:29:21.007" LastActivityDate="2014-02-01T17:29:21.007" Title="A 14 month often old waking up in terror for weeks" Tags="|toddler|night-time|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11315" CreationDate="2014-01-31T20:21:50.080" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given your description, it is not paranormal, it is &lt;strong&gt;NORMAL&lt;/strong&gt; :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are called night terrors, which children in that age have, and they are perfectly normal. You may still want to check this out with your pediatrician, since the normal age for night terrors to develop is 3 years old+ (though children as young as 6 mos. can also have them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to understand more about night terrors, google it. Here are some samples I found:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://voices.yahoo.com/what-know-infant-toddler-night-4836284.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://voices.yahoo.com/what-know-infant-toddler-night-4836284.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/night-terrors&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/night-terrors&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_why-is-my-toddler-suddenly-waking-up-hysterical-at-night_1292621.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/404_why-is-my-toddler-suddenly-waking-up-hysterical-at-night_1292621.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6697" LastActivityDate="2014-01-31T20:21:50.080" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11318" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-01-31T23:50:06.913" Score="1" ViewCount="212" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2-year-old. He does not play with toys for more than the first 30mins. What toys to start with at that age? So what solutions are there? How many unique toy sets are needed usually? What are proven toys that allow him problem solving?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6707" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-25T13:25:05.600" LastActivityDate="2019-03-25T13:25:05.600" Title="What toys to start with for a 2-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|education|toys|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11319" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-01T00:23:45.957" Score="10" ViewCount="15702" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, this question is inspired somewhat by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/11288/2876&quot;&gt;Do we Need to help a baby learn to soothe itself?&lt;/a&gt; as well as my own experience with other people's children and my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many mothers are reluctant to let their children cry at all, but there are times when a child just isn't consolable, there is sleep training that includes letting them cry and a host of times when a parent might just need to take a deep breath and a minute or two in order to regain patience for listening to a baby cry such as a colicky baby and step away for a bit to calm themselves.  I generally felt that it was my job to teach my baby I was there for her and that meant responding in some way when she cried - even if my response didn't always stop the crying, but I don't remember reading anything that made me &quot;know&quot; that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me there are a lot of beliefs around how much crying a baby should be allowed to do, or not.  While I don't buy into this line specifically (considering it an old wife's tale), I've even heard, &quot;let her cry, it'll help her lungs develop&quot; from my mother in law.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is actually &lt;strong&gt;known&lt;/strong&gt; about when babies should be allowed to cry without consoling (I know sleep training methods all pretty much agree never before six months - but why six months and not seven?  What is the developmental sign they are ready to cry a little without consoling?).  Even then, for how long should they be allowed to cry?  Are there &lt;strong&gt;scientific studies&lt;/strong&gt; that show certain lengths of time at certain ages to either be helpful or harmful?  What can a mother of a child that just can't be soothed be told in regard to how much crying is okay and how much is too much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2017-06-14T16:44:10.203" Title="When and for how long should a baby and one-year-olds be allowed to cry?" Tags="|infant|behavior|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11319" CreationDate="2014-02-01T07:56:11.537" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before the age of about 6 months a child cries to communicate a need.  It is important to address that need rather than let the child cry.  Most, but not all, children have a need that can be sorted.  Maybe the child is too hot or hungry or uncomfortable or has wind.  Parents learn a variety of techniques to cope with these, such as &quot;tiger in the tree&quot; holds or swaddling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the age of about 6 months children start to learn that crying brings a response, so if a parent is going to try any controlled crying technique it is important that they must wait until after this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that over-fussy parents can be psychologically harmful to children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that good bond is pretty important and that is hindered by not addressing crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm stop here because I have strong opinions but you haven't asked for that.  I will post links later - im on mobile and it's weirdly hard to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-02-01T07:56:11.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11323" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-01T13:35:49.490" Score="0" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is just over three years old.  He has had glue ear, sometimes in both ears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some evidence-based speech therapy techniques and games that can be applied by parents in the home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-03-12T10:36:00.073" LastActivityDate="2014-05-11T11:33:34.887" Title="What are some evidence-based techniques for speech therapy?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11298" CreationDate="2014-02-01T16:56:01.883" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you might follow his passion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check out books about cars. Try &lt;em&gt;How To Design Cars Like a Pro&lt;/em&gt; (9780760336953 ) or &lt;em&gt;Cool Cars and Trucks&lt;/em&gt; (a Lego book, 9781250031105) or &lt;em&gt;DK Eyewitness Books: Car&lt;/em&gt; (978-0756613846). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The forward to the design book is written by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caranddriver.com/features/ian-callum-what-id-do-differently-feature&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ian Callum&lt;/a&gt; who submitted his first car design to Jaguar at the age of 14, and has been a designer for Ford, TWR, Aston Martin, and is currently the Director of Design for Jaguar Cars. You might look up information about him together on the Internet. He is quite proud of how certain elements of the modern Jaguar take their inspiration from the animal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could take your son on a tour of a car factory if one is near enough. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take him to a car sales yard to look at and notice different things about cars - different body shapes and shapes of wings, exhausts, headlights, windscreens, rearview mirrors etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The Discovery Channel ran a series last year called &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.discovery.ca/showpage.aspx?sid=53958&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How It's Made: Dream Cars&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; - the first few episodes are available on DVD, but I think the series is still going. This might interest him in using other materials, like clay, to design cars.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show interest in every minor change he makes. Ask him why he decided to make that change. As @Joe mentions in his answer, design creativity is incremental. Matisse used to have his paintings photographed in progress. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thejewishmuseum.org/site/pages/uploaded_media/cone/matisse/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Each iteration&lt;/a&gt; was slightly different than the prior image, each change significant to the artist who was eventually satisfied with the painting. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of my children have always been fascinated with cars. One is now working for a race team and finishing a degree in engineering that is focused on race cars. The other is working on a marketing degree and works part-time doing automotive events. Both of them grew up on Lego cars. We used to design workshops together for them to build their cars in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-02-01T16:56:01.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11325" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-01T16:59:59.537" Score="7" ViewCount="2288" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is highly curious and has become a bit of a &lt;a href=&quot;http://bewitched.wikia.com/wiki/Gladys_Kravitz&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mrs. Kravitz&lt;/a&gt; around our house.  Since her Dad and I know this and she is our daughter, we are generally careful if we need to be to just not be &quot;interesting&quot; unless we know she is sound asleep - or know that what we are talking about should either involve her or it doesn't matter if she hears it all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I'm wondering about how to go about teaching her how rude this is without giving her the impression we are hiding anything (we aren't) or that there are things her grandparents, aunts and uncles, or others we spend time with might be hiding things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is seven and not yet really in a place in life where she cares deeply about privacy for her own self so the idea of others wanting privacy from her is foreign.  She is definitely a heart-on-her-sleeve/tell-it-like-it-is kind of girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-04T16:34:56.433" LastActivityDate="2018-04-25T22:50:45.440" Title="How to teach a child about eavesdropping" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|socialization|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11326" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11329" CreationDate="2014-02-01T17:41:28.133" Score="15" ViewCount="4908" Body="&lt;p&gt;My in-laws have tried to give our baby who is only just beginning to eat solid foods, candy, soda, and other adult foods because they think it is funny to &quot;irritate daddy and mommy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has a lot of reflux so we have to be careful about introducing one food at a time - just like anyone would normally be careful, but we have to be hyper-aware in order to figure out what it is she is sensitive to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have also known of them to ignore a screaming child for at least half-an-hour so they could &quot;finish a show&quot; and all the kid really wants is attention anyway - it can wait - &quot;The baby's lungs are developing.&quot;  In any case, we are done with trusting them to baby sit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've simply avoided asking them to sit for us, but now they are offering (frequently) and are starting to understand (I think) they aren't wanted as baby-sitters.  Both my husband and I have tried to be clear that it isn't a matter of &quot;irritation&quot; but that there are certain things we want for our baby (like not choking on candy that is too big for her, starting with non-sugary foods for nutritional taste development, tracking what she is eating so we can figure out what she is sensitive to and having her needs met in a reasonable amount of time - including needs for attention).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They (particularly the father) continue to act like it is all a big joke and if they're sitting, they can do it however they want - &quot;After-all, we've already raised six kids successfully.&quot;  However, the mother actually came into my husband's life when he was already a teen and all the kids were at least in preschool.  While the father &lt;strong&gt;has&lt;/strong&gt; parented six kids genetically, it was the grandparents (now, great-grandparents) that did a lot of the raising (until the step-mother came into the picture) So we can't even justify things as, &quot;well, my husband came out of it alright&quot; - the way these two would like us to believe we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we go about a conversation regarding this situation without creating a familial rift for my husband, daughter and even myself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-01T17:51:53.217" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T21:58:37.617" Title="Parent's in law who can't be trusted to baby-sit want to - how do we figure this one out without hurting them?" Tags="|infant|relationships|grandparents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2014-02-02T01:44:38.970" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a buick lacrosse and were able to fit 3 car seats across the backseat.  Now that our granddaughters are old enough for booster seats, we're having a hassle trying to buckle the seatbelt.  Seat belt extenders were recommended but the cars owner manual says not to use them..they're only for adult usage.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6718" LastActivityDate="2014-02-02T01:44:38.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11326" CreationDate="2014-02-02T14:16:35.693" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is tricky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll have modern books and advice around.  This will include safe sleeping positions.  Dr Spock was a well respected baby care expert, but his suggestion was to put babies down on their front.  So, as we get more scietific evidence we change how things are done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one way intothe conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they offer you can say something like &quot;I know you joke around with this stuff and that we're maybe a bit uptight, but the reason we don't say 'yes!' Right away is because we want to know you're doing what is current best practice.  Things are different now.  We don't just get this stuff from thin air.  Everything has been recommended by paediatricians or doctors or good quality research.  The children love you, and we'd love to let you spend time with them, but we'd need to know that you're going to do things our way.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't ideal but it includes a few things.  You start by making it sound a problem with you not them.  You then explain what the problem is, again not by poking them but by providing reasonings for your behaviours.  Then you let them know that it is just this one little thig that's causing problems.  You also cram a few compliments in there too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be better so I hope people leave comments about improving it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-02-02T14:16:35.693" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11326" CreationDate="2014-02-02T16:26:01.137" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something I needed to deal with. If they are starting to ask why they can't babysit, I would say something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As you know, we disagree on a few things that would be relevant while you were babysitting, like what kinds of food are ok or how quickly a crying baby needs to be picked up. I know that you think these differences are no big deal, and that they won't affect a baby in any bad way. &lt;strong&gt;I know that.&lt;/strong&gt; You're not the kind of people who would neglect or harm a baby and you love BabyName. Those things, though, they are huge deals to me - rightly or wrongly - and I can't set aside how I feel about them. I feel I must do the best for my baby and that includes not having her fed certain things, and not having her left crying. I understand we disagree, and that's just something that happens between adults. Here's how that disagreement gets settled: HusbandName and I are the parents, and we won't leave BabyName with anyone who can't support what to us are big deals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then go on to explain how important it is for BabyName to get lots of grandparent time, and even how you're looking forward to a time when BabyName is older and in a stage where you and the grandparents are more in sync on big deal stuff so that they can babysit. After all, you're going to need sitters for a decade, decade and a half - they might not be eligible for the first few years, but don't say never.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key for us was to stick firm on two points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;this is what we feel is right for our family. (Appeal to authorities like books or doctors if you want, or not, but the key is you have decided.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we get to decide what is right for our family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not spend effort trying to get them to agree that how they did it is wrong, or even that what they want to do is wrong. They don't get a vote. There is no need to try to defeat them on the facts. Let them keep their beliefs that their way was ok for their times and their kids. Just don't let them take care of the baby right now, and reassure them that this has nothing to do with who loves whom or who is objectively right and wrong. It's just how it's going to be for now. I recommend this position primarily because it cannot be argued with. &lt;strong&gt;The arguments stop.&lt;/strong&gt; And that lets you focus on finding the good parts about being an extended family, even if at the moment they don't include free babysitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-02-03T21:58:37.617" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T21:58:37.617" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11330" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11331" CreationDate="2014-02-02T16:50:43.810" Score="3" ViewCount="4365" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3-year-old son likes cars, and he likes to arrange his toy cars in a line. Is this normal for toddler boys? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastActivityDate="2014-08-08T09:57:35.053" Title="Our toddler boy likes to arrange his toy cars in a line. Is this normal?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11330" CreationDate="2014-02-02T17:07:03.883" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a friend whose son did the exact same thing.  He played constantly with toy cars, and all he did was carefully line them up end-to-end.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if you had a specific concern, but I'd say it's not only &quot;normal&quot;, but it's also fairly common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-02-02T17:07:03.883" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11330" CreationDate="2014-02-02T18:07:23.060" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a fairly normal thing, I'd say. My daughter spends ages every night ensuring that all her cuddly toys are in exactly the right position. Some kids simply like things to be just so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="973" LastActivityDate="2014-02-02T18:07:23.060" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11333" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-02T19:53:55.363" Score="3" ViewCount="298" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our three month old daughter has recently started to have trouble falling asleep. Not even falling - she has trouble starting to fall asleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have learned and accepted her way of falling asleep. Rocked on my arms she would fuss/cry for several minutes, pass some gas during that, and then just close her eyes and peacefully go to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, since a few days ago when she had yet another level-up, she started to find everything so interesting that she doesn't even start falling asleep. She curiously looks around, smiles broadly, grabs blanket or my sleeping robe, generally has fun. We do not share her positive attitute towards evening fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same applies to falling asleep for the third time at night (around 4AM, she seems to want to stop sleeping at all then) and for her naps. It's very difficult to put her to her afternoon nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she enters her (previously mentioned) falling asleep state, she does go to sleep as usual, or even better. But reaching that point is the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-03T11:08:49.047" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T11:57:14.930" Title="How can a three month old go to sleep - everything's so interesting!" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11334" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-02T19:58:58.167" Score="11" ViewCount="64436" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter started babbling a lot. She used to throw gu and ga around once in a while, but now she seems to be babbling all the time. She talks to us, to all the chandeliers, her toys, she also fusses babbling instead of soft crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how talkative should a three month old be? Is her behavior normal? Should it be discouraged (and how) or should we encourage it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;// almost 3 years later her mouth still doesn't seem to close at all...&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;// an update another 3 years later: she did stop chattering around her 6th birthday //&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2020-04-26T20:19:39.140" LastActivityDate="2020-07-18T01:29:33.183" Title="How talkative should a three month old be?" Tags="|infant|language-development|activities|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11333" CreationDate="2014-02-02T20:02:57.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have a dark calm sleeping area? If she's happy lying there looking around but not sleeping I don't think it's a problem.  You might find that she adjusts and learns to settle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she crying after a time when you put her down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-02-02T20:02:57.073" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11326" CreationDate="2014-02-02T20:08:14.190" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hurt feelings or hurt child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of our parents has Alzheimer's, but he and wife still think driving is just fine. We don't leave kids there because we can't trust him not to take a run to the store, the park, etc. with the kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hurt feelings or hurt child - - we chose hurt feelings. We've been as polite as possible, but we just can't leave youngest daughter with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-02T20:08:14.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11326" CreationDate="2014-02-02T20:53:07.647" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Marc summarizes well: &lt;strong&gt;prioritize the health of your child&lt;/strong&gt; over the feelings of the grandparents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seeing that your father-in-law apparently didn't &lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt; raise his kids, his claims of being a good parent carries no weight, and he flat-out disqualifies himself from getting &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; responsibility regarding your child by continuing to make a joke of this even after hearing your (very reasonable!) arguments. Look at it this way: if you let him babysit and something goes wrong, you're going to accept (some of) the blame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, &lt;strong&gt;don't let him babysit.&lt;/strong&gt; Period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, that will have social consequences - but these are matters between adults, and you should be able to handle it as adults. I've had a vaguely similar experience concerning disagreement with grandparents. In this case, the grandparent was used to having their own way and did not respect the parents' wishes despite being reminded several times. In the end the parents needed to break family protocol and put the foot down hard: &lt;em&gt;&quot;Follow our rules in the car, or walk home!&quot;&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was jarring, and it left a permanent impression -- but overall not in a bad way because it demonstrated that the parents were serious and that their child was more important than the grandparent. This sounds harsh, and it is, but it's the truth. Besides, provided the grandparents are interested in the relationship, they &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; bow to your rules if you make that demand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-02-02T20:53:07.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="46" CreationDate="2014-02-02T21:14:10.613" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you ever heard of / tried the &lt;a href=&quot;http://prudentbaby.com/2010/12/baby-kid/the-tape-trick-2/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;tape method&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't actually tried this yet (my oldest is still in a crib), but I know quite a few parents who swear by it. The interesting thing about it is that you get the child to view it as a sort of cause-and-effect - it's not that you're a nasty mom/dad forcing them to stay in bed, there are just consequences to their actions and if they choose to face them they can come on out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic idea in short (read the link for more detail):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put 3 pieces of tape outside the child's door - one at the door-almost-closed position, one at the door-wide-open position, and one in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to your child that they're big now, and big kids use the tape system. Rules:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The door starts off wide open at the outermost piece of tape.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The first time the child comes out (for anything other than a legitimate bathroom trip), they are sent back to bed and the door is moved to the middle piece of tape (half open).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The second time, they are sent back to bed and the door is  moved to the next piece of tape, so that it is just left open a crack. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The third time, the door is closed completely for the night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Of course, this will only work if you're ok with the door being open at night... But it's probably better than a closed door with a kid refusing to stay inside :) )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastActivityDate="2014-02-02T21:14:10.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11334" CreationDate="2014-02-03T00:21:36.940" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's early compared to my children - both of mine were more like 6 months old before they were really babbling a lot.  But it's not unusual, and it's certainly nothing to discourage.  She's developing her verbal skills, and learning to express herself.  Encourage away - babble back at her, make conversation, and start paying attention to the different babbles that begin to have meaning.  Eventually the babble she does when she wants milk/formula will be discernible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T00:21:36.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11340" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-03T03:53:56.720" Score="11" ViewCount="12009" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago, we took our 6-month-old on the plane for the first time.  Five hours into a ten-hour flight, with no warning at all, he vomited (and spectacularly, not a little milk burp).  A week later on the way back, despite being careful not to overfeed him etc, he did it again.  On both occasions, it happened after the plane hit a tiny bit of turbulence and we were instructed to lift him out of the bassinet where he'd been sleeping happily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're fairly sure this is specifically about planes, since he's never vomited before, between the flights, or since, nor do we have any reason to suspect ear infections, gastro, etc.  He had his 6-mo checkup shortly after we returned and passed with flying colors.  He's also completely OK with boats and cars, including twisty mountain roads, and he's eating solids happily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately we've got the same pair of flights coming up again 3 months' time, and this time one of them is a daytime flight, which is likely to be even worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, without further ado, &lt;strong&gt;how do we stop him from throwing up next time he's on a plane&lt;/strong&gt;?  I'd definitely be open to (real) medication, but no homeopathic hoo-ha or anything lacking actual evidence of effectiveness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;: In the almost a year since I posted this, the baby has been on ~8 flights and thrown up precisely zero times, with no particular precautions.  So it was (take your pick) a phase, some random latent stomach bug, or just random coincidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastEditorUserId="3248" LastEditDate="2014-11-16T10:33:31.363" LastActivityDate="2018-03-16T11:21:12.113" Title="Preventing motion sickness in a baby on a plane" Tags="|infant|travel|vomiting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11334" CreationDate="2014-02-03T06:00:33.650" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's normal, but don't freak out when it goes away! Babies go through an early babbling stage which then stops, and then takes up again in earnest later on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know the exact average timeline, but with my son it was around three months old as well. My parents told me to film him because we'll be sorry when it stops, and indeed, a month or two later he went silent for a few months. He would also chat with any available object, but he would especially begin to blabber to me when I would come back from work. It was incredibly sweet :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T06:00:33.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11330" CreationDate="2014-02-03T07:38:29.027" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Datapoint: mine do that too. It may be a symptom of toomanycaritis :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seems pretty normal to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T07:38:29.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11343" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-03T08:56:01.530" Score="11" ViewCount="4678" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read that babies generally recognize and respond to their own name at around 5 months of age. How is this different for twins (particularly identical)? Being as they often (almost always!) hear their names mentioned together, when can they recognize which is their own name and which is their twin's...? Will they respond to both names? If so, for how long?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(My twins are nearly a year old, and I still can't tell if they know their own names or just respond to both. I was curious if there is any official data available.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T05:46:53.920" Title="When do twins know their own names?" Tags="|development|twins|names|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11333" CreationDate="2014-02-03T10:36:02.913" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We do not share her positive attitute towards evening fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why not? She's not upset, she's not making a ruckus, she's just busy discovering the world. If she doesn't cry, but just happily explores her surroundings, just let her do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids will sleep when they need to. Try adjusting the schedule, perhaps eliminating a daytime nap. Sleep schedules are based on the average baby. Yours may not be average in this regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-02-03T11:57:14.930" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T11:57:14.930" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11343" CreationDate="2014-02-03T12:09:34.023" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: &lt;strong&gt;No different from single children.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There ought to be ample opportunity to address twins individually. They don't (always) do their misdeeds in sync - sometimes only one of them does it, or at least one does it &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt; and the other one follows. Also when you're feeding them, or changing them, or doing any number of similar things - you will inevitably deal with just one of them at a given instant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These instants are certainly enough for each of them to hear their own name without the other one, so I am sure that the self-identification works just as well with twins, if not even better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sidenote:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://twins.g-b.dk/&quot;&gt;I'm a twin&lt;/a&gt; myself, and obviously I don't have any accurate recollection of my earliest childhood. I know my own name but I &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; pay attention when somebody addresses my clone. It might be a habit borne from the fact that often people mixed us up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-02-03T12:09:34.023" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11348" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11349" CreationDate="2014-02-03T19:03:22.260" Score="9" ViewCount="5595" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to determine when it is possible that a baby is aware that they are one of the people in the mirror, and whether it's the same time that they realize that the other person is a reflection, not just an extremely similar looking person to the one who's holding them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know all babies are different, but assume there are studies that indicate the approximate median age and/or ranges when this skill is developed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2014-02-07T10:54:32.130" Title="At what age does a baby recognize themself in a mirror?" Tags="|cognitive-development|milestones|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11348" CreationDate="2014-02-03T20:05:06.920" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most studies I've found indicates that toddlers will realize that the cute little person in the mirror is them around months 16 - 18, give or take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Free cites:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3351035/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;“So Big”: The Development of Body Self-awareness in Toddlers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyzone.com/toddler/toddler-week-by-week/clever-toddler-week-85_72501&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Your Clever Toddler in Week 85: Mirror Recognition&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/toddler-growth-and-development/self-recognition.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Self-Recognition — When Toddlers Know Who That Kid in the Mirror Is&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Scholarly cites (these are scholarly abstracts and most are not free to read unless you are a student or faculty):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01650250500147485&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parenting styles and the development of the categorical self: A longitudinal study on mirror self-recognition in Cameroonian Nso and German families&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0273229784800064&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The development of early visual self-recognition&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/dev/29/1/88/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Self-awareness and other-awareness: Mirror self-recognition and synchronic imitation among unfamiliar peers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2014-02-07T10:54:32.130" LastActivityDate="2014-02-07T10:54:32.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11350" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-04T03:31:59.633" Score="9" ViewCount="508" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question was inspired by one posed on the &lt;a href=&quot;https://scifi.stackexchange.com/q/49033/10926&quot;&gt;Science Fiction Stack Exchange&lt;/a&gt; by a parent wondering about The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.  Through some commentary and discussion, he did clarify that his main concern was figuring out whether his son would &lt;strong&gt;UNDERSTAND&lt;/strong&gt; much of the book and not whether the content of the book was appropriate for his son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a former middle-school teacher and tutor to remedial readers in elementary schools while I got my teaching license, I've had plenty of experience with parents posing this question of me.  As a parent of an avid and accomplished young reader, I also have had to struggle through figuring out which books will make for challenging reading for my own child without offering her books she will find so challenging as to be incomprehensible.  So, knowing it is a common problem faced by parents and teachers alike, I thought the question would be a good one here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:43:40.743" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T04:05:51.323" Title="How does one go about determining if a child, adolescent or teen is capable of understanding a given book?" Tags="|primary-schooler|education|reading|middle-childhood|books|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11350" CreationDate="2014-02-04T04:06:35.693" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Emergent Readers&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is actually fairly easy for emergent readers because there are plenty of &quot;leveled&quot; books for them such as &lt;em&gt;Frog and Toad&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;Owl at Home&lt;/em&gt;.  Early readers are labeled by the publishing company as being part of a series of steps clearly explained somewhere on the book.  The &quot;I Can Read&quot; system, for example, has books labeled as &quot;My First&quot; which are suggested as books good for &quot;shared Reading&quot; and then has four more reading levels with more and more advanced vocabulary, word complexity, and sentence structure.  Often, the highest &quot;level&quot; in these types of systems are early chapter books.  They have a contents and are divided into chapter sections, but are still fairly short stories with illustrations at least every few pages.  Each major publishing house that produces these types of books offers its own leveled system, but they are all clearly labeled and explained right on the books and they are also all fairly similar.  After your child moves into &quot;chapter books&quot; that are no longer considered &quot;beginner chapter books&quot;  however, it can get a bit more complex to find reading for a child that is at just the right level.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Readers Past &quot;Beginner Books&quot; but still needing to read Children's or Young Adult Books&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there is not a good system for rating the &quot;content&quot; of a book for children, there is a &quot;rating system&quot; for reading level or difficulty of books written for children and young adults. This system at least helps to determine what a child is likely to be capable of understanding even if it can't guide a parent in knowing fully whether any particular book is just right for that parent's own child in terms of potential interest as well as maturity of the content.  Many books are registered with an &quot;RL&quot; on them that can be found near the bar-code or on the copyright page.  If not there, you can often look it up online through the publisher.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/book/hitchhikers-guide-galaxy#cart/cleanup&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;In the case of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the RL is 8.3 (Scholastic)&lt;/a&gt;.  Again, I remind all that an RL is an indication of what average grade level (in the US) will &lt;strong&gt;understand&lt;/strong&gt; at least 80% of what is being read - and in no way reflects the content covered in any given book.  For a book with an RL of 8.3, an eighth grader about three tenths the way through his/her eighth grade year would be expected to understand at least about 80% of what he/she reads.  It also may not be helpful as grade level is different in other countries, but there is a more internationally minded answer to the question as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lexile measures are another way to gauge the difficulty level of reading in a book and measure approximately the same thing - they just go about it a different way.  HHGTTG is measured at 1000L.  For the sake of comparison, The Hobbit is also measured at 1000L.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are other systems for choosing reading levels as well, but I am less familiar with most of them as I find them as having ranges that are a little wider than I'd like and I have just found Lexile and its website so easy to use I use it almost exclusively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In terms of determining specifically whether any individual child is ready for any particular book or not&lt;/strong&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Readiness will depend much on how an individual's reading level compares with that of the book.  If you &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lexile.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;look up the Lexiles for other books&lt;/a&gt; the child/adolescent has read and understood successfully, you can determine if his/her score would most likely be above or below the Lexile measure for any given book.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to use these numbers though, it is important to understand one key caveat - content matters too and the numbers don't figure it in.  So first, I'll explain &lt;em&gt;How these numbers are determined&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the Flesh Kincaid Reading Level system (RL's) it is a simple calculation considering length of words and number of words in a sentence and then compared against an average based on a set standard using abilities of children at each grade level.  A book with short words and short sentences will have a low RL but a book with longer words and more words per sentence will have a higher RL.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Lexile scores are slightly different because it also considers the repetition of words as making a text easier to read.  For this reason, the reappearance of the same words is also calculated into the score.  So books with shorter words, used more often and in shorter sentences will have a lower lexile while books with long sentences, long words and few words repeated will have a much higher lexile measure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering all of this, for many kids an RL will often be listed as higher than what many kids can handle at that grade level and in the case of Lexile, you should consider your child as existing with in a score &quot;range&quot;, so unless your child is considered a &quot;remedial reader&quot; you are likely to find the numbers a little on the high side because they are averages.  Giving a fourth grader a book with an RL of 5 is probably not going to mean the book is out of his or her comprehension reach.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, if the book is about a subject that is brand-new to your child, it may be harder to read than the numbers indicate so for a first foray into a new genre (or topic if it is non-fiction), I suggest choosing books with a score lower than your child's reading level as an introduction.  Also, books that are highly sarcastic in nature (Such as the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) might be a little trickier in terms of the understanding of the jokes themselves.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reasons of content it is also important to know the child who is doing the reading and that child's available background knowledge when offering a book for reading that is of a &lt;strong&gt;higher&lt;/strong&gt; number than the child's reading level.  Books with higher scores than that of the child, should be pushing reading ability but not content knowledge.  I frequently give my child books above her reading level, but only ones in genres she is already familiar and about subject matter with which she is also already familiar.  Otherwise the exercise of reading the book becomes a matter of frustration for her rather than a fun read.  Scholastic's &quot;interest levels&quot; can be helpful in determining this aspect of books, but not all publishers offer such a number and it is not as scientifically measured (or measurable) so I feel reading the summary and giving a book that you have questions about a good skim-through is the best way to help use the Reading Level score you have most effectively when in question about a book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Advanced Readers Delving into Adult Literature&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can still find an RL or Lexile score for much of the published adult literature if it might be used in classrooms or is considered a &quot;classic.&quot;  In these cases you can use the same methods in finding appropriate &quot;RL's&quot; as listed in the section above.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, Jane Austin's Sense and Sensibility is listed as having an RL of 10 and an 1180L or The Grapes of Wrath is listed as RL 4.9 and 680L (However, the content is more challenging so its &quot;interest level as determined by Scholastic is 9-12).  Hamlet, Macbeth and King Lear by William Shakespeare are listed in a book together with an RL of 11 - however, a Lexile score is not currently available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In those cases where an RL or Lexile measure (or your preferred system for determining Reading Level) is not easily available, you can take a look at reviews of the book and check out the publisher's description of the book.  However, since most persons at this reading level are nearly adults, I might also consider just trusting that the teen can come to you and ask about confusing aspects of the book (if you have a close relationship) or figure if it matters to him/her your teen &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are choosing books for educational purposes, you can also search the book title and &quot;book club&quot; and often come up with a great summary, sometimes a vocabulary list and often great supplementary information and discussion questions before you go ahead and do your pre-reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;As a suggestion for when you still aren't sure&lt;/strong&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I am unsure if my child is ready or not for a book (but I think she is close), and she doesn't want to wait, or the content of the book is relevant to something she is studying now (so waiting doesn't make as much sense), we read it together.  It is a fun way to bond, we can discuss what we are reading if she gets stuck or doesn't understand something. Plus, generally, they understand what they hear better than what they read, so you can read the portions that contain passages that are more difficult, and it allows me to remember all the details of the book and enjoy it a second (or third, or fourth . . .) time around.  This method is one I use both for when I am unsure of the reading level/complexity of a book for my daughter as well as for when I am unsure about the content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In order to round out this answer, I thought I'd offer a few other examples for the Sake of Comparison:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Anne of Green Gables&lt;/em&gt; has an RL of 5.9, but in terms of content might be most interesting for someone in grades 6-8, or ages 11 to 13/14 or so (it is a coming of age story, so adolescence is generally a good time for reading it).  It also has a Lexile measure of 990.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone&lt;/em&gt; is considered to have an interest level for most kids around fourth grade and up through middle school (about 9years old to 13 or 14).  The RL is 6 and the Lexile is 880 (in fact a couple of the books share this number, 880).  &lt;em&gt;Deathly Hallows&lt;/em&gt; tops the Lexile score for this series at 980 and an RL of 7.4. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Number the Stars&lt;/em&gt; by Lois Lowry has an interest level listed by the publisher as grades 3 to 5 (age 8-10) and an RL of 5.1 with a Lexile measure of 670L.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe&lt;/em&gt; is also listed with an interest level of 3-5 or ages 8 - 10, but has an RL of 6.1 and a Lexile of 940L.  &lt;em&gt;Prince Caspian&lt;/em&gt; comes in with RL 5.6 and 870L while &lt;em&gt;The Last Battle&lt;/em&gt; is RL 5.8 and 890L.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A Wrinkle in Time&lt;/em&gt; has an interest level at 6-8th grade, an RL of 4.7 and 740L, &lt;em&gt;A Wind in the Door&lt;/em&gt; comes in at Rl 5.3 and 790L.  &lt;em&gt;A Swiftly Tilting Planet&lt;/em&gt; is RL 6.4 and 850L.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-05T16:05:31.647" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T16:05:31.647" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11353" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-04T15:45:28.627" Score="11" ViewCount="32377" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question was inspired by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/11348/2876&quot;&gt;At What age does a baby recognize themself in a mirror?&lt;/a&gt; and the memory it brought up for me of the day we were on a family &quot;hike&quot; at a local botanical garden and my daughter (age two?) looked down and started flapping her arms.  You could see that she was testing if the gray thing at her feet would also flap and when it did, she giggled with glee and started &quot;running&quot; in that cute almost falling way kids do while flapping her arms and giggling at the fact that her shadow was also flapping away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously my daughter was walking at this point, but I have video of her discovering her reflection at an age when she was &quot;almost&quot; walking but not quite.  I wondered if the discovery generally happens in the same range of time or if they are two distinct &quot;discoveries&quot; in terms of cognitive development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2018-02-24T23:27:58.517" Title="At What age does a child generally recognize their shadow is their shadow and will do what they do?" Tags="|toddler|infant|development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11319" CreationDate="2014-02-04T15:49:42.310" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a grandmother. When I had my babies, my pediatrician was a wonderful, Dr. Welby-type doctor who was in his fifties. He was extremely helpful and very responsive to all of my children's issues, and every bit of his advice was right on the money. For each and every problem that I had, he had specific suggestions for dealing with it and they worked like a charm. He said that after about six months old, if your baby is not sleeping through the night or finds it difficult to fall asleep at nap time, he said that the first thing you should do is rule out any issues, such as, soiled diaper, hunger, pain, etc, etc. After all else is ruled out and baby is still crying, lay baby down in the crib and gently rub it's back. If that doesn't work, then let baby cry for a bit, but no longer than 10 minutes before going in and picking him up and cuddling him for a few minutes. Then immediately lay him back down. If he continues to cry, then wait another 10 minutes and then go back in and pick him up again and cuddle for a few minutes, and then lay him back down. Usually, a baby who is just sleepy and having a difficult time settling itself down will fall asleep after about 10 or 15 minutes of crying because he wears himself out. He said that crying does not harm a baby. Crying is what babies do. He said that sometimes crying helps clear airways. But don't let them cry for more than 10 minutes without comforting him. I followed his advice precisely and it always worked for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not recommend this for everyone else because so much has changed since I was having babies. But I it worked wonderfully for my children. If this is something that you would like to try, be sure to talk it over with your pediatrician first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6735" LastActivityDate="2014-02-04T15:49:42.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10604" CreationDate="2014-02-04T17:42:59.253" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possible problem that my kids had: they read everything. My youngest has read &lt;em&gt;New Scientist&lt;/em&gt; at the breakfast table for years. That's left her with a large vocabulary of words she knows but has never heard or said. It's kind of funny from time to time. I don't think there's much of a prevention for this when I child reads above her age. Read with her, correct her in a gentle way, laugh together at every opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We read &lt;em&gt;The Hobbit&lt;/em&gt; together, alternating pages. That was a challenge for both of us, what with the voices, the Nordic names, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-04T17:42:59.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2014-02-04T19:52:05.633" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;yes,magic 123 works. you have to be totally monotoned when saying 1.2.3.,and consistent with the discipline. I never thought ignoring a tantrum would be so effective. I don't argue with my kids. I find that making my 9 yr old boy write sentences about his offense works for discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6737" LastActivityDate="2014-02-04T19:52:05.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2014-02-04T22:30:40.193" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 13 and have selective mutism.&#xA;when I am pressured into doing things that I do not want to do in school I freeze up and do not move.  Other times I get incredibly angry but as I do not talk in school I end up getting over whelmed and 'freezing' or breaking down crying. kids with selective mutism do not like to seem different from others and may not like special measures being taken just for them if it draws attention. &#xA;hope this helps  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6739" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-05T20:43:38.483" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T20:43:38.483" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11334" CreationDate="2014-02-05T01:57:43.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babbling is good! Don't discourage it! :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my daughter, my wife told me to babble back but always make it a point to slide to normal words. This way the baby eventually 'babbles with sense'. She hated baby talk as it dumbs down the baby. Basically, we encouraged babbling but tried to substitute real words when we have a chance, ie. Da becomes dada becomes daddy, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The effects paid off wonderfully: the first word she completely comprehends was 'mik' at 3 months, and she was well into the whole daddy-mommy-ate(elder sister) vocab by around 4 months. Our angel is turning 2 years old next week and already knows how to sing, read, and write the alphabet and numbers, and she can sing a LOT of nursery rhymes, and even sing Let It Go! :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every influence counts, I think, even if seemingly irritating or inconsequential in the beginning. Though I must admit: the patience needed during early morning babbling with her mobile and pillows at 3-4 months is absolutely titanic!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6207" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T01:57:43.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11343" CreationDate="2014-02-05T05:46:53.920" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I dont know from which month it might have started, but my twins who are aged 2 know their names which sounds very similar. I believe they started to respond to names correctly sometime in last 6 months&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3625" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T05:46:53.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11360" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-05T13:38:05.703" Score="3" ViewCount="72" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a native English speaker. What I would like to understand is - if a non native speaker who’s got a fairly decent command on the language (in this case say English) speaks to his or her kid in English, would it increase their kids grasp on English and the ability to comprehend the language better. In essence, does interacting with kids in a foreign language increase the kid’s grasp on a foreign language? I understand accent, pronunciation, modulation, intonation all these aspects play an important role but my question is primarily about the usage, and by that I mean the usage of words, grammar, phrases, idioms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to add one more parameter, If the family is not resident in a native English speaking country, and in future if the kid travels to an English speaking country would they be able to seamlessly integrate into the English speaking community (nothing to do with cultural values, in this context), and would their ability to comprehend, read, write and speak be as good OR nearly as good as the native speakers. Have you come across such cases wherein someone mastered a foreign language even without staying in the country to which the language is native?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6740" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T13:38:05.703" Title="Mastering a foreign language without staying in a country to which the language is native" Tags="|language|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-02-05T15:23:55.177" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11350" CreationDate="2014-02-05T17:19:10.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My shorter answer - there is no generic way to know what a child will get from reading a generic book. There is no formula for literature, and no age for literature. You have to know the child, the book, and how carefully they read it. And some books are deeper than others, which makes your question more difficult (and important).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holes_%28novel%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Holes&lt;/em&gt; by &lt;em&gt;Louis Sachar&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; - the book has follows two timelines a century apart, with two casts of characters. On a simple level, most third or fourth grades will follow the story. But the two timelines with their two plots are intertwined, they come together at the end of the book in a truly wonderful way. Most third graders (and many middle schoolers) will not grasp all the subtly and meaning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you didn't know the book and the kid, and you didn't talk with the kid about the book, you could never know what they brought away from it. If you don't know the child and the book, there's no way to know in advance if the book is right for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T04:05:51.323" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T04:05:51.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2014-02-05T18:32:22.133" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year-old daughter is like this, although I didn't realize there was a term for it until just now.  Some things we have found to help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't assume that being afraid to talk is the same as not being good at talking.  My daughter has a very good vocabulary for her age, probably because she spends so much time listening.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her answer in whichever way is most comfortable for her.  Try adapting questions to be yes or no, so she can nod.  Older children might be more comfortable writing or whispering.  In a classroom setting, provide a nonverbal way to do things like ask permission to leave for the restroom.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her sit with a close friend or sibling who can be her &quot;voice.&quot;  Our son is quite the extrovert and is very helpful to our daughter in social situations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't pressure.  Our daughter is also scared of trying new things, not just social situations.  Often if she freezes up about trying something, we just say something encouraging like, &quot;You can do it.&quot;  Then after we turn our attention elsewhere, she will do it on her own, and proudly come show us the results.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She has a hard time answering if she's not 100% sure of herself.  That means she has an easier time answering a question like, &quot;What's your name?&quot; than the answer to an academic question a teacher just asked.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unlike most other kids, she doesn't like getting praised in front of a group.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't try to make everyone be her friend.  Work on cultivating one or two close friendships, with kids who won't pressure her to open up.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T18:32:22.133" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11340" CreationDate="2014-02-05T19:02:18.057" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, first of all, probably nobody will give you advices about &lt;em&gt;real medicine&lt;/em&gt; here. It's kind of easy to do some googling about it, and no one is willing to take the risk of advising you about some medicine and it having side effects. Asking your pediatrician is the best advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More on, your baby doesn't even have 2 years old, and almost all drugs aren't recommended for such age. In general they're only given under prescription, since the side-effects can be worst in babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you'll get (at least from me) as an answer are the alternatives: green apples. The same that are used in cruise ships to prevent &lt;em&gt;mal de mer&lt;/em&gt;. But I'm not sure whether your baby could eat them. My little one has only eaten some sweet, non acid apples, and I'm not sure how she would react to green apples. So I don't know about your baby, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T19:02:18.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11325" CreationDate="2014-02-05T23:20:30.657" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to make clear that teaching, or educating, a child that something is bad / rude, is different from making the child stop that bad behaviour. And your question is specifically about how to &lt;strong&gt;educate&lt;/strong&gt; the child: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;how to make her understand eavesdropping is rude without getting the impression that you, or other dear people, hide things from her and each other&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I repeated your question, with some minor changes, in order to be sure I understand it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First thing that comes up to my mind is &lt;em&gt;why not&lt;/em&gt;? Let her get that impression. Is it bad? You said you've got nothing to hide from her. On the other hand you also said that you're careful not to be &quot;interesting&quot; unless she's sound asleep. So there &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; things for which we wish neither her intervention nor her knowing. What's wrong with that? &lt;strong&gt;it's totally legitimate to have secrets.&lt;/strong&gt; We all have secrets and it's fine. Secrets aren't necessarily bad ones, they are not necessarily against the others or against someone at all. On the contrary. There are matters that are &lt;em&gt;better not&lt;/em&gt; be shared with children of too early an age, things that they still cannot digest, things that might harm them. So &lt;strong&gt;it's not only legitimate, it's a necessity&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, with time, there will probably be some &quot;secrets&quot; that &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; shared between you and your child and you'd ask &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; to hide it from someone, say a neighbour. Since you aim to be a well-behaving person (according to whatever morals you follow), you'd have a good / legitimate reason for hiding it. That's actually great, since this way your child will learn &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to use the power of secrets for the &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt; purposes. It's the natural way children, and we all, learn (guess you know that).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; would fear of, is that she might be insulted. She'll understand you want her not to listen, but she won't understand why. And then she might interpret it as &quot;my parents don't love me&quot; and the such (not ultimately don't love, just this-very-moment-don't-love).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my suggestion is to be natural about it. If you want privacy that your child doesn't yet naturally give - explicitly and &lt;em&gt;kindly&lt;/em&gt; ask for it. Try to avoid this situation, though, as much as possible, in order not to insult her. She'll mature, regarding this aspect, and grow to understand this important social skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6615" LastActivityDate="2014-02-05T23:20:30.657" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11318" CreationDate="2014-02-06T04:21:35.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The number of unique toys your child needs is determined by the amount of time you are willing to spend picking up these toys and their associated parts. The above post mentions pots, pans... &quot;household items&quot;. This is truth. I have a drawer full of kid safe &quot;sacrificial&quot; cooking stuff In the kitchen in a bottom cupboard for this reason. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Empty , washed out orange juice or milk cartons can be blocks, garages, projectiles, towers, musical instruments...the possibilities are endless!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My almost two year old loves bingo markers right now. It combines his interest in colors, making a mess, and &quot;slamming&quot; stuff.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two year olds also like to pretend, dress up, and &quot;help&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quantity is not so important if you can duplicate the &quot;newness&quot; of a toy over and over. I have a locked toy cupboard where I stash stuff that is on it's way out of favor. I replace those &quot;same old&quot; items on their toy shelves that they have access to with stuff that has been &quot;out of sight, out of mind&quot; from the cupboard. It's like Christmas every few weeks! (In fact, I confiscate quite a few of the new toys right away at holidays/birthdays because there are always too many new things all at once-I stagger them into the rotation.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's time to donate a toy if it doesn't even move off the shelf after it disappeared for a while. It means my kids are done with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;secret toy cupboard&quot; method also keeps the kid-clutter to a minimum. And, kids are easily overwhelmed by too many choices anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a great toy site: &lt;a href=&quot;http://m.melissaanddoug.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://m.melissaanddoug.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can shop by age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T04:21:35.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11340" CreationDate="2014-02-06T04:42:01.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do a search for &quot;Pericardium 6&quot; on the internet. My littlest one had awful motion sickness from birth until he was about a year old in the car. He would cry, vomit, etc etc...this is the only thing that would calm him. I would apply very firm pressure to his wrist and within a few minutes, he would calm down and usually fall asleep, as babies are supposed to do in the car. I had to do this EVERY time we went out. No matter how short the ride. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you said &quot;no homeopathy hoohaa&quot; ( your description, not mine) but isn't this worth a shot? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much less invasive on your little person than drugs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're still determined to drug your child for the comfort of yourself and travel companions, please consult a doctor, not a bunch of strangers on the internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T22:29:23.550" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T22:29:23.550" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11340" CreationDate="2014-02-06T07:32:15.957" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest a reminder that &quot;correlation does not imply causation.&quot;  When my daughter was around that age, I didn't have a car and it was a 30 minute bus ride to-and-from home.  One day, she woke up in my arms, smiled at me, and promptly threw up all over my chest.  It was A LOT!!!!  I got off at the next stop and unprepared to have to change my clothes (I always had stuff for whatever she would need), I winged it.  Got on the next bus and continued the trip.  De ja vu is a polite term for what happened next.  I got off the bus and walked home at that point b/c I was just too embarrassed to be that messy and smelly on a public bus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very young children are sensitive to things beyond quite a bit of &quot;logic&quot;... it's a logic nature understands, but as much as we try, it's beyond our understanding.  Your child was not hurt; you were not hurt; and from what you indicate there are no medical issues at bay.  All that taken into account, the best anyone can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. (Trust me, it sucks to be vomited on in a place where there's little-to-nothing you can do about it!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Medication can work wonders, but as pointed out by woliveirajr, at such a young age few doctors will prescribe medications without sufficient cause -- for good reason.  So, preparation on your part, abidance by your doctor's recommendations, and loving care by you is most likely the best you will be able to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be frustrating, I'll admit, but sometimes the solution we want for our child(ren) -- that everything will be OK -- is not the solution offered to us by reality.  In those cases, we can just give it our best and make sure that our child(ren) know we love them and care for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that said, I sincerely hope you don't have a repeat experience!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T07:32:15.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11369" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11372" CreationDate="2014-02-06T08:58:13.823" Score="5" ViewCount="1093" Body="&lt;p&gt;During discussions with friends about our children (2 years and 16 months old) I discovered that some parents give their children &quot;normal&quot; (and thus breakable) plates and glasses. The reason is because in this way they learn that dropping them to the ground is bad (since they break).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know also that some parents simply do not return objects if their children drop them down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my family, generally we use plastic plates and we return everything, trying to explain that is not good to knock these objects off the table. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have some doubts regarding these three different approaches. I know that children have to respect some rules (and not dropping items off the table is one of these), but sometime they have to test their parents' reactions (both of them have to agree and to be consistent). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So on the one hand you have an efficient method in which the child plays a small role; on the other you have a less efficient method, but that constitutes many &quot;tests&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are  some differences between what is the best and what we really do, and so the two questions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is the best method in your opinion (also, do you have an alternative)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What do you do usually?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6149" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T13:11:34.763" LastActivityDate="2014-02-08T00:15:02.627" Title="What is the best approach for teaching toddlers not to drop items off the table at meals?" Tags="|toddler|infant|behavior|eating|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11369" CreationDate="2014-02-06T14:32:23.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found returning things to be like bouncing a ball to the kids, so we didn't do that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My youngest used a sweep of the arm across the high chair tray to signal that she was done with her meal, so we got pretty good at anticipating it, making sure there wasn't much left to fly towards the end of the meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the child can talk, however, you can address it like you would hitting ... consistently and instantly removing her to a place of boredom worked for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T14:32:23.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11369" CreationDate="2014-02-06T15:33:07.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that works well for us is explaining the correct purpose and usage of, well, everything. Rather than saying, &quot;No, that's not a toy!&quot; or &quot;No, don't drop the plate on the floor!&quot;, explain that a plate is for eating food of, that a spoon is for scooping food into your mouth, and so forth. Then you can say that the spoon is not for hitting the place with and so forth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one time when our daughter did actually break one of the plates was when she dropped a glass onto it, after balancing it on her face to get the last drops out and then letting go. The broken plate was a clear indicator that something had gone wrong, so I didn't need to yell at her, though I did express disapproval. I explained to her (briefly) what she should have done. She then re-enacted the whole scenario doing the correct thing, namely holding the glass while she got the last drops out of it. It was amazing to see. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I see it, she now knows what she is supposed to do, and feels happier now that she has obtained a small piece of information about how to navigate through the otherwise uncertain world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reference, our daughter is nearly 2. The technique of explaining the proper purpose of things has been working (with quite some success) since she was 18 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T15:33:07.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11369" CreationDate="2014-02-06T15:36:05.817" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Meal times involve a bunch of different approaches.  Some people use baby led weaning and give the child real food; others will give a carefuly graduated set of foods.  Some people give small portions on plates, with the child wearing a bib and having hands and face wiped after every spoonful and others will be alllowed to grab handfuls of food and smush it around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the answer depends on the child and the parents.  Some children may find the sudden noise of smashing plates to be distressing.  Others might enjoy it.  Be aware that dropping items is a developmental milestone so they're not doing it for attention or to be naughty - it is a part of growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Following items out of sight - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyzone.com/baby/baby-week-by-week/week-28-baby_65866&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babyzone.com/baby/baby-week-by-week/week-28-baby_65866&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do babies drop stuff? - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyzone.com/baby/why-babies-drop-stuff_224786&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babyzone.com/baby/why-babies-drop-stuff_224786&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seeing the above two links makes me think that not returning items is a sub-optimal approach.  But I understand the frustration with this dropping behaviour and I inderstand the desire to avoid turning it into a game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About breakable vs not breakable: I don't have the time nor patience to clean broken crockery (ensuring I have found all splinters to avoid injuries) and then cleaning all the food and then getting and preparing more food.  So non breaking items are good and can be attractive, and a lot of food for replacement of spillage is handy too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T15:36:05.817" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11373" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-06T17:14:00.343" Score="18" ViewCount="124252" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old daughter is crying every time she is told no.  It doesn't matter if it is a little thing or a big thing she is asking for--she cries.  We don't give in to her crying.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We have tried several things to change the behavior.  We have had her go sit in her room and cry it out, talked to her about making a better choice and thinking &quot;no big deal, maybe I can next time&quot;, modeled better behavior, and asking her what she thought her friends would do in her situation.  Nothing seems to work.  Any Ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6745" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T06:59:39.920" Title="5 year old cries every time she is told &quot;no&quot;" Tags="|discipline|crying|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2014-02-06T19:45:48.707" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she continues to cry every time she's told 'No,' despite apparently not getting what she wants, then I'd argue that there's some value in it for her and she IS getting at least some of what she wants out of it.  Examine your behavior when she starts to cry: are you cuddling her? Cajoling her? Giving in in other ways?  It could be that you do none of that, but she can tell that you're getting flustered or frustrated, and she keeps doing it to demonstrate to herself that she has the power to upset you by crying.  (It certainly affects my husband that way!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When one of ours tries tears to get what he/she wants, we remind them of our saying about these things: &quot;You get what you get, and you don't get upset.&quot;  (Or, &quot;you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit.&quot;)  Kind of silly to have a mantra for tantrums, but it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tl;dr: find out what she's gaining by crying and then adjust your strategy accordingly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T19:45:48.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2014-02-06T21:04:00.410" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There may be some value in letting her cry it out in front of you, while you continue going by with your routine.  Sending her to her room to cry it out may be sending her a message of &quot;you're being punished for the crying&quot; but not that &quot;crying won't get you what you want&quot; because eventually you will have to go to her room anyway to do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she gets upset with you, you should probably let her be upset because it will force her to learn to deal with your &quot;NO&quot; in a different way, negotiating, pleading, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we would like to believe that we can talk our way out of the situation that our kids show amazing self control at that age they really don't care yet about what we have to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2195" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T21:04:00.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17" CreationDate="2014-02-06T21:20:42.127" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It used to be common for schools to insist twins be separated in school, regardless of the parent's views. Thankfully, this seems to be less common these days. My school district has never pushed to override a parent's preference. After all, they know the kids best, and they have to live with the results. I don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I've had twins together, twins with me but different periods, and twins separated to different teams of teachers. I have a set of triplets in the same room this year. My anecdotally supported opinion is that there can be no general advice. Kids are different. Somebody's got to know the kids as individuals and make a decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T21:20:42.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11377" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-02-06T21:56:43.923" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T21:56:43.923" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T21:56:43.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11378" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-02-06T21:56:43.923" Score="0" Body="Questions regarding immunizing children" OwnerUserId="2195" LastEditorUserId="2195" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T22:24:42.123" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T22:24:42.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11379" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-02-06T21:58:11.150" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T21:58:11.150" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T21:58:11.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11380" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-02-06T21:58:11.150" Score="0" Body="Questions regarding dealing with child's injuries." OwnerUserId="2195" LastEditorUserId="2195" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T22:24:25.903" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T22:24:25.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11381" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-02-06T21:59:05.593" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T21:59:05.593" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T21:59:05.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11382" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-02-06T21:59:05.593" Score="0" Body="Questions regarding dealing with expected arrival of a child." OwnerUserId="2195" LastEditorUserId="2195" LastEditDate="2014-02-06T22:24:52.297" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T22:24:52.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2014-02-06T22:14:24.593" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, to kids that age it's all &quot;big stuff.&quot;  It makes them sad to not get their way, and crying is how they express their sadness.  If I suddenly discovered a way to make my children not &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to cry in the first place, I don't think I would use it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, at best crying forces everyone around you to give excessive attention to you and your feelings, and at worst bullies people into giving in, and so is basically antisocial.  What I try to do is validate the feeling, but correct its expression with an explanation.  &quot;You're sad because you wanted a cookie, but it's not nice to make everyone listen to you cry.  If you want to cry, please go to your room.&quot;  Sometimes they choose to stop crying, and sometimes they choose to go to their room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, that's easier said than done when they do it all the time.  In reality, I'm nice about it the first time or two every day, then get progressively terser as I get progressively more annoyed, but the nice way tends to work the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-02-06T22:14:24.593" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2014-02-06T22:46:30.247" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have said, it's important to make sure she is getting absolutely nothing from you ( a reaction, attention, whatever). Carefully guard yourself. You must very matter-of-factly ignore it. Speak to her exactly as you would if she weren't crying.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the behavior finally begins to extinguish itself (she handles a &quot;no&quot; appropriately) make sure you let her know you noticed. You could say something like &quot;hey, I know that you are disappointed, but you're doing a great job being a big girl. I'm very proud of you.&quot; Kids at this age want to please you, and want you to be proud of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-02T15:47:07.737" LastActivityDate="2015-08-02T15:47:07.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2014-02-07T00:57:00.813" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just want to share a slightly different perspective on this one.  I totally agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11383/2876&quot;&gt;Karl&lt;/a&gt; that its &quot;all big stuff&quot; &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; that handling things &quot;the nice way&quot; is usually going to work best for you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I want to offer a perspective I don't already see here:  For any social human (which is really all of us) a big part of our psychological validation is just feeling understood - it is actually a &lt;strong&gt;need&lt;/strong&gt; once the physical needs like food and shelter are met.  It is why children that don't get touched fail to thrive and why humans constantly search for love and validation.  A cold hard no, that doesn't acknowledge in any way the wish of the child is likely to leave a kid feeling that their wishes don't matter or not understood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Please don't take this to mean I think you shouldn't say &quot;no&quot; far from it!&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am saying is that it is important to find a way of letting your child know you understand and empathize while you say &quot;no&quot; - at least some of the time.  I suggest the following steps be taken while using an even, loving, but not patronizing voice.  A voice that expresses empathy but remains very down to business and isn't concerned over prevention or stoppage of crying:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;first express back to your child what it is she is after.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Honey, I know you would like a cookie.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Follow your acknowledgement with what your ultimate goal is:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I want you to be healthy and that means eating things other than&#xA;  cookies too.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then, Offer up a Win-Win solution &lt;strong&gt;whenever possible&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;After you have had five bites of all the things I am serving for&#xA;  dinner, you can have a cookie.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I also understand there will be times when a win-win solution is not possible.  However, there is often a workable, &quot;winning solution&quot; anyway&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Honey, I know you want a cookie right now.  I want you to be healthy.&#xA;  You have already had five cookies today so you've used up your sweets&#xA;  rations for today.  What healthy treat would you like to have instead?&#xA;  I have grapes, raisins or strawberries available for you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I know the vocab I'm using here may be a little high-brow for a five year old.  Obviously, put it into your own words)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, for those times when a win-win or winning alternative are not available of course you can pull the parent card - but this is something that should only be needed in increasingly rarer and rarer circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Since your daughter is five, You can even begin to enlist her in helping figure out the win-win solution&lt;/strong&gt; which will help her learn a certain amount of independence and gain some problem solving skills and practice as she searches for a workable answer that takes your wants/needs/wishes/objectives into account as well as her own (don't expect miracles here, modeling and guidance is needed at first, but you are setting yourself up for a much more agreeable time with her when she is a teen if you start training her in this art now - of course, even then I wouldn't expect miracles).  The way you put this to your daughter might sound something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you would like a cookie right now.  I want you to be healthy&#xA;  and it is my job to teach you how to make healthy choices.  I am&#xA;  concerned you have already had too many sweets today.  Can you come up&#xA;  with an alternative solution that meets both our needs?  You get a&#xA;  yummy snack, that is &lt;em&gt;also&lt;/em&gt; healthy?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You may find that she still cries (especially at first), but in my experience, if you stick with it long enough, the crying will abate and be replaced with attempts at finding win-win solutions with you most of the time&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You haven't hurt &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; by prepping your child with an acknowledgement and a request for a win-win instead of a flat out &quot;no.&quot;  Respond with the same emotionally neutral but loving tone you've already been using.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Wow, I see that you feel really sad about this.  I offered up the&#xA;  best compromise I could think of and unfortunately, crying won't&#xA;  actually help you at this point.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, If I think there is a chance I am missing something in regard to what is upsetting the child, I might add at the end of that, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Try a deep breath.  Can you tell me what need you have, I haven't&#xA;  met?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That last one can be dangerous to use because it can result in a heightening of the crying/emotive outburst so use it with caution.  However, I do find it helpful in those situations where I really am having trouble figuring out what it is that is wanted or wrong.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For kids that just can't get a hold of themselves:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You look like you could use some time to yourself to work through&#xA;  your disappointment.  Would you like a quick hug before you go?  We'll&#xA;  see you back here again when you are ready.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to the &quot;your child shouldn't get anything for this behavior&quot; sentiment, &lt;strong&gt;I agree&lt;/strong&gt; - If, it truly is a matter of a child honestly and &lt;strong&gt;with intention&lt;/strong&gt; attempting to manipulate you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, after your efforts toward understanding, your child simply won't budge (and consistently) - then yes, your child is behaving stubbornly and should be dealt with accordingly.  At this point, on the occasions when a child has cried and then come back at me with the exact same request and is crying, begging, pleading, or throwing a tantrum about it, that is when I simply say.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Negotiation time over.  Your decisions are not geared for a win-win.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and then the child does not get what he or she wanted or any sort of compromised &quot;half way&quot;, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; gets some time alone in whatever place is most appropriate for the age (Room, time-out spot, etc etc).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The &quot;Sales Pitch&quot; (so to speak)&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;If you think about it, this is much more true-to-life way to handle agreements/disagreements anyway.  When an adult makes a request that keeps both party's goals in mind, that adult is a lot more likely to make the sale, get the bargain, figure out the compromise, maintain healthy, happy friendships/relationships, etc. than someone that just throws their weight around trying to get what they want no matter the expense to everyone else.  It solves a problem for you &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; teaches your kid an important life skill through modeling and practice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend two great books you may find helpful and from whence much of this answer is inspired:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0307440850&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families&lt;/a&gt; (and its child oriented compliment &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=The%20Seven%20Habits%20of%20Effective%20Families&amp;amp;ie=utf-8&amp;amp;oe=utf-8&amp;amp;aq=t&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;amp;client=firefox-a#q=The%20Seven%20Habits%20of%20Happy%20Kids&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;amp;tbm=shop&amp;amp;spd=8757978581361126525&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Seven Habits of Happy Kids&lt;/a&gt; as well as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stephencovey.com/blog/?tag=the-7-habits-of-highly-effective-families&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Seven Habits Blog&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1451663889&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know that you are far from alone in the battle, we are all cheering you on, and that in the end, you have your child's health and well-being at heart - eventually, your child will come to a place in life where she will come to understand that - even if it is 30-40 years from now :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-02-07T01:30:02.350" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11387" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11428" CreationDate="2014-02-07T16:48:31.607" Score="6" ViewCount="456" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an idea that may or may not be a good one, so I am looking for a little advice.  I have a daughter and son, 5 and 1 respectively.  I have this pipe dream to save some money to take them on a special travel trip just before they become teenagers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose what I want is some time with them away from home, where they can experience some of world with a little more freedom than normal, but not too much.  I hope (again, this is my pipe dream) that these experiences give us the opportunity to talk about what is out there in the world, both good and bad.  I dream that this would be both a bonding time between they and I, and also a time for them to take a small step into the adult world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Travel always leaves me feeling a sense of wonder about the world.  Sometimes, I've felt maybe a bit threatened too - after all, it's not the home I know so much about.  But when I think about the confidence I've gained from travel, and the enrichment it's provided towards my understanding of the world, I can hardly think of anything more worthwhile to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would obviously cost a lot of money.  So I am thinking like 7-11 years in advance here...  What do you think?  If this is a good idea, at what age would such an experience be best for a young woman?  How about a young man?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last, I'd even be open to letting them pick where we'd go and what we'd do.  I have my heart on El Camino De Santiago because hey, a dad can dream!  But I know if I force my choice on them, it'll backfire on me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6695" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T02:14:37.573" Title="Daddy daughter travel trip?" Tags="|teen|travel|pre-teen|social-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11388" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-07T22:18:07.400" Score="23" ViewCount="1515" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm an active member of &lt;a href=&quot;https://android.stackexchange.com/&quot;&gt;Android Enthusiasts Stack Exchange&lt;/a&gt; and recently came across &lt;a href=&quot;https://android.stackexchange.com/questions/62967/track-republic-wireless-texts-over-wifi&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; by a parent, asking for advice on spying on his teenage (I'm assuming) son's texts without getting caught. I suggested a few services which claim to do what he's asking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it made me think. I'm not a parent, but I'm engaged and excited about parenthood in my future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing that came to my mind is that if I distrusted my teenage son to that extent, I wouldn't let him &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; a phone in the first place. And if I made the choice to entrust him with a cell phone, I wouldn't want to undermine &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; trust by discreetly reading his private conversations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally support the ideas of open communication and privacy, and I'm thus &lt;em&gt;against&lt;/em&gt; censorship and invasion of that privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would want my son to see me as a trusting and trustworthy authority - and I feel that reading private communications could disrupt that effort on two fronts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he finds out that I'm spying on him, I could lose some of his trust .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I find out too much of his personal life, it could affect my judgment and demeanor toward him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I suspected my son was into something dangerous or illegal, wouldn't it be best to be open with him and try to be a source of support, rather than an antagonist?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I being unrealistic here? Is my pre-parenthood naivete combining with my open-source mindset?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6759" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2017-10-01T07:49:23.983" LastActivityDate="2017-10-01T07:49:23.983" Title="When (if ever) is it appropriate to spy on your teenager's texts?" Tags="|discipline|teen|privacy|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11389" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-07T22:23:25.297" Score="1" ViewCount="334" Body="&lt;p&gt;Scenario: I have absolutely no experience with infants or very young childs. In fact, I never had closer contact with them yet. But now …&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I’m becoming an uncle/aunt/godparent/close family friend, and I want to give presents to the child (and I may &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/7004/3634&quot;&gt;not often be able to see the child&lt;/a&gt;). But, oh help, &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; am I supposed to gift? I guess it would become easier for me when the child grows older, but I have no ideas for those early years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I’m not looking for specific product recommendations, but for an outline of appropriate &lt;strong&gt;product categories&lt;/strong&gt; for each child’s year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, when can I start to consider &lt;strong&gt;picture-books&lt;/strong&gt;? &lt;strong&gt;Cuddly toys&lt;/strong&gt; right from birth on? What else is possible for a newly born child? When to start with &lt;strong&gt;wooden toys&lt;/strong&gt; like toy trains? &lt;em&gt;(… I hope you get the idea.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3634" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2017-12-02T20:43:08.740" Title="What kinds of presents for 0-6 year old children?" Tags="|toys|presents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11389" CreationDate="2014-02-07T23:15:38.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The easiest way is to look at the recommended ages on the boxes.  Although different kids are different, those recommended ages work for the majority of children, and take both safety and development into account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, after age two or so you also really need to ask the parents.  Kids very quickly develop strong likes and dislikes where toys are concerned.  My nine year-old daughter gets tons of stuffed animals as gifts, and she has never liked them since she was a baby, so we end up giving them to her little sister.  She spends a lot of time in the hospital, and we have to keep a stuffed animal on her bed or else people will keep giving her more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-02-07T23:15:38.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11369" CreationDate="2014-02-08T00:15:02.627" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used plastic cups, plates, etc. until our kiddos were old enough not to drop them on purpose (testing). When they were in that phase and they dropped something we would say, &quot;uh oh, that is sad. We keep our things on the table.&quot; Return it once and if they did it again, say &quot;looks like you are all done&quot;. Then we would clear their spot, get them cleaned up and get them down. It didn't take long for them to decide that wasn't a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="254" LastActivityDate="2014-02-08T00:15:02.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6577" CreationDate="2014-02-08T04:26:43.127" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 5 and I was letting her hit her own snooze button and turn off her alarm clock, but it got worse, she then started getting in my bed in the morning before school and we overslept together unfortunately.  I became more nagging and I hated myself for it. So I changed it all up and tried this approach: her alarm goes off, she turns it off then wakes me. If I DO NOT spring up out of my bed basically and with some sort of motivation or reward or just something little for her to look forward to and it keeps her positive instead of miserable basically. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like her to have happy kindergarten memories unlike my childhood! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6763" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2015-06-13T14:08:14.343" LastActivityDate="2015-06-13T14:08:14.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11394" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-08T05:39:17.597" Score="13" ViewCount="5231" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three year old boy (the middle of three boys; older brother is 9, younger brother is almost 2) is smoldering with anger pretty often. He flies off the handle at little things. I've dealt with a good share of tantruming with my oldest, who had a speech delay and sensory issues, but this is something else. At the least, he's nasty - he glowers, talks through his teeth, and says very rude things. At his worst, he goes into fits of rage: eyes wide, red face, sweat, teeth and fists clenched, screaming, kicking, biting (if you come near), throwing things, knocking over furniture, breaking toys, shredding books... I have tried letting him &quot;work it out&quot;, but after 45 min of this my other children are terrified, and, my tantruming child's asthma starts to rear its ugly head and he starts to gasp for air. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried attempting to teach him &quot;healthy&quot; outlets for his anger - such as bouncing on an exercise ball (which worked for my oldest), counting, deep breathing, and using his wonderful vocabulary to just tell me he's mad. So far, nothing has worked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, as is typical for this age, this starts because he is being unreasonable (I want to be naked at school!), or misbehaving (stealing chocolates from mommy's special candy dish). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I firmly believe he is transforming shame, disappointment and sadness into anger. I bought a book that illustrates feelings (designed for pre-schoolers) and he furiously, adamantly, skips the two pages that talk about &quot;sad&quot; and &quot;embarrassed.&quot;  That's when the &quot;mad face&quot; shows up... how can I teach him to feel sad, shame, etc., in a healthy way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am hoping someone can offer some advice on how to help me help him calm down before he even gets to that point.  He needs help that I am apparently not capable of.  I know he is in hell when he feels that mad, and I am prepared to accept I am doing something wrong so I can fix this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He never hurts himself on purpose (thankfully).  But I am concerned he will accidentally. And, now that he shares a room with his baby brother, I am concerned for him and his belongings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My last resort method is to put him in the shower - fully clothed - to snap him out of his rage. He often forgets what he was initially mad about and so is suddenly mad about the wet clothes, which I immediately help him with, and then he begins to calm. It takes several minutes for his breathing to return to normal, and then, he sleeps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he need professional help perhaps? Nothing traumatic had happened... he's just got a really short fuse. It all boils down to this: it is probably an aspect of his personality (being quick tempered) and we want to channel it now before it has a devastating effect on his life. We all know how repressed anger can destroy someone and how equally destructive it is if allowed to be expressed freely as well (it's difficult to have friends, relationships, jobs, if one is flying off the handle frequently).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have looked at our own behavior and are doing our best to &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; stay calm, and to acknowledge and talk about the times when we aren't (we're only two humans working full time and trying to raise three boys after all!). No matter how calm and even we are though, his temper is as strong as ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We discipline using the three warning system and time outs. The time outs are less and less effective because they turn into tantrums. We started using more positive reinforcement for good behavior (less emphasis on bad behavior) and this has only given him the idea now that he is invincible and can torture his brothers and get away with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are totally stressed out by him, and feel really sad that our happy go lucky baby has gotten such a mean streak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-29T12:19:56.030" LastActivityDate="2019-05-29T12:19:56.030" Title="How to help a 3-year-old with vicious temper to express his emotions in a healthy way?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|communication|tantrums|anger|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11388" CreationDate="2014-02-08T09:27:36.720" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my children, I find spying on them not really being an issue at all. My children love to talk to me about their life. Children, like most people, seem to love talking about themselves quite often. If there's information about my children I need to know about, and don't, usually the failure is with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developing a healthy relationship with a child doesn't mean trusting them implicitly, but it does mean they should trust you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I learn far more about my children by spending time with them and listening to them than I think I ever could by spying on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that being said, there are some great security and safety features now available on many cell phones. For example, my location is tracked and my wife has access to that information 24/7 as I do hers. But this isn't due to a lack of trust. It's because we trust each other that we want to share all of our information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6747" LastActivityDate="2014-02-08T09:27:36.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2014-02-08T10:01:21.673" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is one of the hardest things to get right. I find myself saying &quot;no&quot; and not really meaning it. This type of &quot;no&quot; conveys &quot;not right now, but maybe if you keep carrying on about it, it'll be yes.&quot; Most of the time these types of &quot;no's&quot; function well. The child knows when to carry on and when not to under normal circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But every once in awhile, they don't quite get the message and a more forceful response is needed. This is when a &quot;no&quot; takes on the meaning &quot;No, absolutely not. I don't care how hard you cry or what you think on the subject, The answer is no.&quot; I do this in a way that is abundantly clear and unmistakable to understand. I look them in the eye, I say &quot;no&quot; in a deeper tone of voice, all while signing the word &quot;no&quot; (in American sign language). I metaphorically draw the line clearly in the sand which they know they cannot cross.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once doing this, the hardest part is being consistent. I try not to give an absolute &quot;no&quot; unless I have no other option, as I know I will have to enforce it 100% of the time or it will lose its power (or at least enforce it 98% of the time). If the child whines and carries on about the issue, I give them the option of crying in their room. If they continue crying, I then take them to their room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Testing behavioral boundaries and limits is a normal part of life. When boundaries are clearly expressed to children, they will be much more likely to stay within them (and, of course, test them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also check on the other children she hangs around. One of the children in our daughter's class had a few bad habits my daughter picked up. Once we found the source, we were able to treat the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6747" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-04T01:33:57.783" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T01:33:57.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11397" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11407" CreationDate="2014-02-08T10:23:08.083" Score="5" ViewCount="15140" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 19-month-old baby while playing had a deep cut in her left hand index finger. Her pediatrician dressed her finger now and didn't administer any tetanus injection, as she had already been given Diphtheria-Pertussis-Tetanus vaccine some months back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the problem is that she doesn't allow us to re-bandage her finger. If we try to do it forcefully, she cries and shouts so much that she finds hard to breathe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-15T14:22:53.720" LastActivityDate="2018-08-15T14:22:53.720" Title="Deep cut in index finger of 19 months old baby - how to re-bandage?" Tags="|toddler|injury|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11388" CreationDate="2014-02-08T15:33:24.083" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've never read our daughters' texts. When they first got phones, we went through the bills with them, looking for calls and texts at times they should not have been making calls or texts, teaching them how to use them responsibly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're 15 and 19 now, but at no time did we feel like we needed to invade their privacy in such a way. We've always had good, open relationships with them. Spying sounds like a good way to lose a lot of communication in a search for a few mere facts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it helps that I was one of their middle school teachers, so I knew all their other teachers. I knew all the teachers at their elementary school long before we had kids, and I was those those elementary teachers' kids' teacher. Same with high school. We were active in their school from the first day of K, so we know their friends. We know everyone our kids know, and they know everyone we know, at least we did until eldest daughter left for college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-02-08T15:53:21.943" LastActivityDate="2014-02-08T15:53:21.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="566" CreationDate="2014-02-08T15:46:58.470" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well if they don't do what I want or they won't stop a certain behavior I say &quot;you're on timeout 1&quot;. Usually it stops the behavior right there. But if not I say &quot;that's 2&quot;.   Then at timeout three they are in timeout chair according to their age.They need to write why they put themselves there and what they will do in that situation next time. It's really to help them think about their actions and the consequences.What it comes down to is they need to be able to think. Sometimes if they are arguing with each other, I say &quot;You are both on TO 1.&quot; Usually they stop but if they don't I will count them out. They know timeout one and two are just warning. I don't mind giving them a warning to turn their behavior sround but if they don't do  the right thing and they make in wrong choice, they will be on timeout. Also, if they dare to physically put their hands on one another or get out out of control that is an automatic timeout.Yes, they would find themselves on  TO 3 automatically without a warning. That is not acceptable and I won't tolerate it.  If they say something to me th thats two because I want them to just stop think and don't say anything.Answering back and them not thinking about their actions will result in me counting to three :). I don't argue because i'll just keep counting. Take a timeout.If they want to keep going they will pay for it in timeout. Until y hey van control themselves. If they can't relax and know when to take a timeout and calm down I will help them. I will give them a timeout. Every hour I start over and they can then be placed on TO 1 again. When they choose to continue what they are doing and I say &quot; Now you're on TO two. Are you going to stop?&quot; They choose what they want to do. It works outside too because if I say that's three they are on timeout as soon as we get in the house.It really works. I find it effective because on some occasions we get to two but we really don't get to timeout 3 very often. Actually there are many days when we don't even get to 1. It works for my family. I see nothing wrong with a reminder to stop. Some days all I need to tell them is &quot;that's unacceptable behavior and if you do it again you'll be on 1 and if necessary  I will start counting you.&quot; They seem to know it's three strikes and you're out. In real life they won't even get that many chances. So it's extremely important to take a deep breath, listen to a warning and think about what you do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6764" LastEditorUserId="6764" LastEditDate="2014-02-09T16:59:23.957" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T16:59:23.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11397" CreationDate="2014-02-08T15:49:07.177" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It hurts and she's scared, both by the impending pain and the memory of the injury. At eighteen months, my youngest fell against a brick planter and cut her face just across her eyebrow. In order to stitch her, the pediatrician had to wrap her to a board to hold her still and keep her hands down. That was a traumatic event - for years she was claustrophobic, and she remembers it today, thirteen years later. But what could we have done differently? It was traumatic for &lt;strong&gt;me&lt;/strong&gt;, but looking back, it had to be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're in a similar position. An index finger on a toddler or baby is so important, so easy to get infected, that you have to know it's healing. You have to do what needs to be done. You can try to distract her, but she's a baby, a learning machine, and that won't work twice if it works once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parenting isn't about the fun stuff. It's about handling the problems, and I feel for you. It's gut-wrenching for me to remember. I wish I has something good and helpful to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-02-08T17:46:25.003" LastActivityDate="2014-02-08T17:46:25.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11402" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-08T17:05:54.033" Score="2" ViewCount="899" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's the question.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What should be looked for in a walker before purchasing one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid will turn 8 months old on 17 Feb 2014. She keeps on standing with wall support most of the time and stands without support for nearly 5 seconds. She does walk bit by bit while holding the wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T20:21:57.417" Title="What kind of walkers are available and what are the pros and cons of each?" Tags="|infant|walking|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11402" CreationDate="2014-02-08T17:44:11.933" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, make sure it can't fit through the door that leads to the basement stairs. That would be very bad. While you have safety in mind, look over the entire house, and see what she could reach from a walker that she might not be able to reach otherwise. You should do this anyway, as she's pulling upright now. Think like a monkey, smart enough to get into trouble, but not smart enough to avoid it. Cords in reach can be used to pull appliances onto the head, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, does she really need a walker if she's moving toward walking without one? I doubt it matters in any important, or even trivial way, but I think she'd walk sooner without the a device keeping her upright despite her lack of strength and balance needed to stay upright.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-08T17:44:11.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11402" CreationDate="2014-02-08T20:27:26.773" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please consult you paediatrician before buying one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was 6 months he was already trying to stand up. We loved to play with him holding him up and helping him  &quot;walk&quot;. I've taken him to an orthopaedist due to an unrelated problem and told him about it. He told us &lt;strong&gt;not to do it&lt;/strong&gt;. That when the child tried to stand up supporting somewhere, we should take him far from the support and make him crawl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The explanation was sensible. They are developing their back muscles. The best way to do it is to let them crawl. The walking will come naturally. We stopped helping him walk. He walked alone with 1 year and 1 month. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="156" LastEditorUserId="156" LastEditDate="2014-02-09T20:21:57.417" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T20:21:57.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11334" CreationDate="2014-02-09T00:32:15.590" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would never discourage babbling, it's how she learns to communicate.  My (now 4 month old) daughter is the same about babbling to everything, and babbling sadly instead of crying, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also: Talk back to her!  Babies love that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6768" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T00:32:15.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11397" CreationDate="2014-02-09T02:24:45.997" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was about 15 mos old he had an incident with a treadmill (on my in-law's watch, a still sore subject presently) where his hand got stuck in it and a good portion of his palm's skin was burned off. It was grotesque, and VERY painful. My in laws did not seek treatment right away, and didn't clean the wound (there were bits of treadmill still stuck in it two days later when I came back from my business trip.)  So, when I brought him to the ER, they had to remove the layer of infected skin, remove dirt &amp;amp; debris, and then apply a burn treatment. It was horrific, and as @Marc experienced, he had to be restrained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had to change the dressing once a week, or, as often as it got dirty, wet, or removed by a baby who doesn't want a bandage getting in the way of putting Legos in his mouth ( ;-p ) which ended up being every day. He had NO SKIN on his entire hand. Here's our method:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a helper. Someone with nerves of steel. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prepare your bandage/dressing and have ALL necessary objects within reach. Here are the two essential objects that you haven't been using: a baby sized stretchy knit winter glove with all but the index finger cut off, and a baby crew sock (long enough to go to AT LEAST  her elbow) with. 5 little slits cut in the toe for her fingers to slip through. This will cover your sterile gauze bandage and prevent it from getting ripped off and keeps it somewhat cleaner/thereby reducing how often you have to do this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a really, really, super-awesome reward ready, and visible, but out of reach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Begin a &quot;countdown to all done&quot; count as slowly as you need to, but not too slow that she loses you between numbers. Count to ten beginning the moment she will first feel something, and ten should come the exact second you let her up. This is a GREAT method to use now, and any time she'll experience something painful.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To clean the finger use just soap and water. It's mild and doesn't hurt so much. (Maybe she'll even play in the sink in soapy water? Mine had to keep his dry, but I've used this trick on other occasions.) If she fights, have your helper hold her arm over the sink and use a squirt bottle to shoot a steady stream of saline on her finger. Use clean gauze to dry. (Soapy water would need a rinse, with saline you can skip it) She might already be screaming. Sorry dear, that's life. Speak softly and soothingly. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Slather that finger with ointment. Whatever the doctor recommends. I use A&amp;amp;D, or bacitracin. Neither one hurts. I do mean slather! &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get your sterile gauze on there. I used the roll kind. It's thin so you can wrap around the tiny finger. Those squares they sell are no good for baby hands. Wrap it around MANY times, going all the way down the finger and back up until the finger is like a Q-tip. Secure with a piece of water proof tape. If you want it to stay dry, wrap the whole thing in tape. It doesn't have to look good! &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get the glove on. It's kinda tricky to not rip the glove since it's been cut. Have backups ready.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put the sock over the glove and all the way down the arm. This, paired with long sleeves, keeps the kid from getting it off.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;IMMEDIATELY ADMINISTER THE SUPER-AWESOME REWARD, and lots and lots of praise.  Just don't coddle too much. You want her to learn that she was not in danger, and &quot;it's no big deal.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can keep your cool, she will eventually take your cues and will relax, somewhat. Kids trust their parents, if you trust in yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did this on my kitchen table, baby laying on a towel, helper using appropriate amount of body weight to hold down torso, legs, and unaffected arm. Helper usually held baby's hand between his chest and helper's, to give him something to squeeze. We made sure his face was not covered, and he could see what was happening. I think it's better for them to see what's being done.  It teaches them to deal with pain in a healthy way, and to trust you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In between dressings, try to gently, nonchalantly touch and handle the injured hand. This desensitizes her so she won't associate you touching her hand with pain. Encourage her to use her hand (now that she's all bandaged up and well protected!)  This was especially important for us, since our baby's mobility was at risk, but it's good advice anyway-to help her forget the trauma. If you get to a point where she doesn't fight so much, try touching her palm and talking to her while you are bandaging to get her to realize you aren't hurting her. She may calm down. Practice getting closer and closer to the cut. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all: Don't worry. She won't remember this on her wedding day.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(FYI: my boy's palm is totally, 100% recovered and fully functional, and now sits calmly for immunizations as a result of the trust we now have, and the &quot;countdown to all done&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T13:13:46.957" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T13:13:46.957" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11402" CreationDate="2014-02-09T03:12:13.197" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two types of walkers: the roam free kind ( baby on the loose!)  and the &quot;stationary&quot; kind where the baby can only go around a center post.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, we'll look at the &quot;roam free&quot; breed. &#xA;Pro's: 1) babies LOVE these walkers! 2) They are pretty easy to transport from one room to another (in fact, baby will usually just follow you), 3) these are usually cheaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons: These walkers are dangerous. 1) Although they have special rubber blocks on them that will catch on the floor if the walker isn't level (as in, on its way down a flight of stairs) it isn't fool proof. You MUST MUST MUST be positive the baby cannot access a staircase. In a split level home, this is especially challenging.  2) kids can now reach stuff they couldn't before. If you think your home is kid proofed-think again now that walker is here. Kids can now reach table cloths, towels hanging off the oven handle (read: kid can open the oven if you don't have a lock), door handles, TV/stereo components, etc. You get my drift. All that stuff was out of reach when the kid was horizontal. 3) Some kids get used to being able zip around and will be SUPER frustrated at their lack of ability sans &quot;suicide cart &quot; as they are sometimes called (catchy knickname isn't it?)  and some people think the walker can actually impede baby's progress towards independent bipedal locomotion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot; going nowhere fast&quot; center post style:&#xA;Pro's: Safer than the &quot;suicide cart&quot; since baby can only go in circles, and therefore can't get near the stairs, door knobs, table cloths, floor lamps, etc. UNLESS you don't carefully consider the circumference of the walker's route AND your baby's &quot;wingspan&quot; Caution: it's bigger than you think. &#xA;Con's: 1) these are usually more expensive, because they come with all kinds of toys attached to them.   2) because of the design, they take up a lot of space (as in, your entire living room) and they are not typically easy to store, and are, well, stationary, so you can't take them to grandma's house.  3) Babies usually get bored fast. They want to GO places once they start to stand and &quot; cruise&quot; (walking holding onto stuff, and then going solo for short trips between furniture.) they get pretty upset about going around in circles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is to skip them both at this point. Your daughter is well on her way to walking on her own. Neither of these is going to help her (if that's what you were thinking) walk faster or with less falling down. She WILL fall pretty frequently, but believe me, most of the time she won't care at all.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally had the &quot;suicide cart&quot; variety, but I mainly used it for those times when I needed to have my &quot;cruising&quot; baby in the kitchen while I was cooking/cleaning and didn't want him pulling up on the kitchen chairs with no where to go. It got about a month of use, then he figured out how to climb out of it by hanging on to a door knob, or whatever, and pulling himself up until the center of gravity was high enough that when he leaned over he'd fall over and be free. Then , he'd shove the empty thing at his older brother'a block tower and make him cry. Be on the look out for that. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2014-02-09T07:27:41.803" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T07:27:41.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7770" CreationDate="2014-02-09T04:08:07.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've cloth diapered two of my three kids. No one way, one type of diaper/cover arrangement is best. It changes with the age of he child, your child's &quot;build&quot; (long and lean vs chubby) and the situation (night vs day, car rides vs playing outside). Sorry, but it's not as simple as 'sposies (disposable diapers). But, it is worth the effort, both physical and mental.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My go-to resource (both for advice, and for products) is www.greenmountaindiapers.com&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess if I had to sum up my experiences, I'd offer you this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stay away from synthetics of any kind for your diapers themselves. Synthetic=Stinkies (and rashes!) Cotton is the best. I wish I had never spent even 10 cents on anything other than cotton.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wool is freakin' awesome. Super super super. I love wool. And I'm not a granola girl or anything like that. It's just easy, and effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a secret no one will tell you: old receiving blankets (the flannel ones you got a million if at your baby shower) are super cloth diapers. They are called &quot;flats&quot; in the cloth diaper lingo. There are tons of videos on line that show how to fold em. I love using these when I need a &quot;trim&quot; fit, which is tough to get with cloth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for &quot;thickness&quot; it boils down to this:  Slim fit=change every two hours. Thick &amp;amp; bulky = 4 hours or more. Add wool as a liner and a cover and you can go all night, no wet sheets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Polythene (PUL) covers are the norm. You can use wool too, but either way, yes, you need a cover. Exposed PUL is good for little babies who have liquid bm's every couple of hours, because you can wipe out the liner the same way you wipe baby's bum. Otherwise you need at least 10 &quot;lined&quot; covers per day because you have to launder the poopie out.  Did I say this already? Wool is awesome. You just wipe poop off wool too. Wool covers repel stink. You only wash them once a week AT THE MOST unless you had a &quot;blow out&quot;. (I wash mine twice a month now that my baby is almost toilet trained! )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd wish you luck, but more than luck you need patience and perseverance.  Happy diapering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T04:08:07.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11388" CreationDate="2014-02-09T04:35:13.867" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Spying is a slippery slope.  It's so much easier for me as a parent to spy on my daughter (with things like txts, emails, phone logs, etc) than it would have been for my parents to spy on me.  That doesn't make it more right.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have chosen to never do this.  I am quite sure she will make mistakes and stupid choices at some point, we all do, I just hope she makes mostly good choices, and can trust me to help her if she screws up.  I imagine if I was to spy she'd just be smart enough to delete her communications, and then she would in turn trust me less when she actually needs help... What is gained by that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6768" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T04:35:13.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11397" CreationDate="2014-02-09T05:01:35.550" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have to do some pretty painful things to my nine year-old daughter with cerebral palsy fairly regularly.  It's just part of being a parent, and unfortunately, there isn't a good way to make it pleasant for your child.  The best you can do is get it over with as fast as possible.  Some things to keep in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You need to remain calm yourself.  If parents flip out when their kids flip out, it just makes it worse.  Speak in calm, soothing tones, even if your child is screaming.  It won't make her stop screaming during, but it might help her not scream so loud, and it will usually help her calm herself faster afterward.  It also helps keep &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; calm so you can get it done faster, and it speeds communication and makes the job of nurses or other helpers easier when they don't have to calm you down in addition to soothing the child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have one person hold her down while the other changes the dressing.  It's really hard to do both at the same time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't be hesitant.  If you try five times to remove a bandage, but flinch when the baby flinches, you're just prolonging her agony.  Make sure and steady movements, and finish what you start.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These next two are more for children who can talk well, but don't lie to her about it.  Tell her it will hurt, but you will be done as soon as you can.  If you lie to her, she won't trust what you say about similar procedures in the future.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to accommodate her requests as much as possible, but not if it will unduly prolong the procedure.  For example, my daughter asks doctors and nurses to sit down.  I don't know exactly why, but it helps her feel more comfortable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T05:01:35.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11402" CreationDate="2014-02-09T07:29:57.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby walkers are dangerous and harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are dangerous because the child suddenly has a lot more access to dangerous items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are harmful because the child is using an unnatural foot position which risks damaging the Achilles tendon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T07:29:57.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6288" CreationDate="2014-02-09T15:05:49.423" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a cradle swing that our 4 month old often sleeps in.  It lets us strap her in so she dosent roll. She sleeps well in it, and we can add motion to help her fall asleep, or turn it off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps an &quot;in bed sleeper&quot; will keep her on her back.  I'm not sure how large her cot is, but if it's large, narrowing it may stop her flipping.  Google &quot;The First Years Close and Secure Sleeper&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6768" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T15:05:49.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11388" CreationDate="2014-02-09T18:00:31.523" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;We really, really want to be able to trust our children, but trust is earned, and some children earn it very slowly, if at all.  You say you wouldn't let your son own a phone if you distrusted him.  If we didn't let our son do things we didn't trust him with, we'd pretty much have to strap him to his bed all day.  Kids need freedom to make mistakes.  A parent's job is basically to make sure those mistakes are corrected and don't have permanent consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I think secretly spying is a mistake.  That's why when my kids have a phone, the monitoring will be overt, and will be part of their &lt;a href=&quot;http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/tweenculture/a/Parent-Child-Cell-Phone-Contracts.htm&quot;&gt;contract&lt;/a&gt;.  Overt monitoring has the following benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has a ready made excuse for avoiding peer pressure.  &quot;Don't send me stuff like that.  My Dad reads my texts sometimes.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He knows when he has earned your trust, because you check up on him less frequently.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It encourages them to preemptively explain any problems and how they handled them, which engenders trust.  &quot;Dad, in case you saw that picture someone forwarded to me, I deleted it and told the sender it wasn't cool.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The previous is a good habit for adults handling private communications, because anything committed to digital form and transmitted is never 100% private.  It lasts forever, and it can be forwarded or leaked, or seen by accident when someone borrows your phone when their battery dies.  For example, one time a female facebook friend was starting to get a little too intimate in chats, which I promptly stopped, but I also told my wife so the transcript would be impossible to take out of context and use against me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The permanence of consequences put it squarely into the realm of parental responsibility.  Something the child says by mouth will be forgotten, and can be dismissed as rumor by anyone not physically present.  Something they put in digital form can be repeated ad infinitum and spread widely, and is very difficult to refute.  Kids often do not consider the long term consequences, and this is where an adult needs to be involved.  Just telling a trusted friend is not enough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this also creates a certain responsibility to be judicious about how you use what you read.  Your child needs to feel safe that you will use the monitoring only to keep him and his friends safe, and that what you read will remain confidential.  If it's not a safety or long-term-consequences concern, don't make him talk about things you read if he doesn't bring it up.  That will be on the parent responsibilities side of our contract.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T18:00:31.523" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10824" CreationDate="2014-02-09T18:04:55.627" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What about something like &quot;Baby Mum-Mum&quot; that makes an organic teething biscuit.  I had good luck with the biscuits with my older kids.  This time around we aren't quite to the teething point yet!  We do have some wood teething toys ready, it's not food but its something she can chew on.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6768" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T18:04:55.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2014-02-09T18:08:17.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my little one was kicking off her blanket I sewed a strip of velcro to the blanket and the sheet.  It keeps her from accidentally kicking it off, but is easy enough to get off when she needs to.  Its a little extra work, and might ruin the sheet/blanket for other people, but it might be worth a try :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6768" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T18:08:17.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11394" CreationDate="2014-02-09T18:52:04.760" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; tough one as it seems you have tried many of the standard methods to help a child work through his tougher emotions already.  On first glance at the title, I actually thought, &quot;how do we not already have some answers addressing this question?&quot; but on reading further, I see your unique challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First and foremost I would like to offer the idea of getting professional help.  You ask if you should, and my answer is an &lt;strong&gt;emphatic yes&lt;/strong&gt;.  Specifically, find a specialist in children and child-hood emotional/social pathologies.  Such a person will be much better equipped to help you because they can meet with your son, observe him (as well as you and he together) and get a much better idea about what might possibly be behind your son's strong emotions.  What you are describing here is beyond what I would consider normative behavior based on the many experiences I've had with tons of children and reminds me more of some of the kid's I worked with social/emotional challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There can be many causes behind challenging behavior including traumatic incidents, but sometimes challenging behavior arises for other reasons too.  According to studies by Shonkoff and Phillips in 2000, &quot;the question of nature vs. nurture is obsolete&quot; as both are tied up in the resulting adult through the numerous factors that play into that adult's &quot;raising&quot; and biology.  What this means is that there are &quot;risk factors&quot; that come together to result in children that exhibit challenging behaviors (whether toward themselves or others) and that usually, more than one of these factors must come together to result in a violent adult, or at least abnormally aggressive.  Your job then, is to tease out as many of the risk factors impacting your son as you can and eliminate those that can be eliminated while moderating or diminishing those that can be moderated and developing coping mechanisms in yourself and your son for those factors that are out of your control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the other kinds of things (other than a traumatic incident) that can play a role are: certain complications during pregnancy and birth, parenting style, being in an impoverished situation, a depressed mother during pregnancy or just after birth, exposure to certain substances during pregnancy as well as after birth, as well as the possible existence of a plethora of verbal and non-verbal social - emotional disorders (such as sensory integration disorders) which it sounds like he may have an increased risk for since we know his older brother has had sensory integration difficulties.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, there are genes associated with more aggressive tendencies in some people - it is possible there is a genetic component to your son's anger (Holden, 1996, Reiss and Roth 1993 and Frick 1991).  If you can figure out what is behind his anger it will be easier to nurture him effectively - a professional is the best person to enlist in that endeavor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thing I'd recommend is making sure you and your other family members are &lt;strong&gt;also&lt;/strong&gt; getting breaks and assistance.  If your son is as angry as you describe', and often, it is stressing everyone out and all of you will need coping skills as well as help with dealing with the emotional fall-out of whatever challenge it is your son is facing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-10T04:47:09.953" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T04:47:09.953" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11420" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-09T19:36:40.033" Score="0" ViewCount="223" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 14 months old and her appetite has not been any better since she turned almost 11 months old i want to say. Its been an on going struggle at home. She will drink her bottle more often than she will eat. In addition when she's with her babysitter she will eat whatever the lady makes her (ex.: cheerios with milk, pieces of chicken, soup, rice, mashed potatoes etc.) I've tries giving her the same and she just won't eat…its a constant fight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However if it's not a cracker or a couple cheerios for her to eat with her hands she will not eat. If she sees me eating a bag of chips she will ask for some - but I simply cannot give her something that does not benefit her health as a growing baby. And what she does eat isn't enough - at most it will be two or three bites of her food or mine. Other than that I am unable to get her to take anymore bites or mouthfuls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she's 14 months and the struggle continues. Even if she sees me eat - she will look, smack her lips but when I offer her food she turns away. If I attempt to feed her she tightens her jaw shut and presses her lips closed. Or she'll press her lips and make a spitting sound to show me she refuses to eat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried different things from finger foods to changing her food to making the same food her babysitter feeds her. Moreover she has lost weight but still seems very energetic and playful as usual. At this point I have no clue what else to do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry but the solutions to a similar questions simply do not work for me. Therefore I need a BETTER solution. Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6772" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-02-09T23:53:36.237" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T23:53:36.237" Title="My Fussy 14 month old REFUSES to eat any type of food at home EXCEPT her baby bottle!" Tags="|toddler|food|eating|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2014-02-09T20:58:39.277" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11422" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-09T23:05:37.493" Score="8" ViewCount="34382" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age can children be left to fend for themselves as far as breakfast, lunch, and dinner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6774" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T10:35:34.757" LastActivityDate="2023-01-20T19:48:20.110" Title="At what age can children prepare their own meals?" Tags="|food|age-appropriate|cooking|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11283" CreationDate="2014-02-09T23:23:45.100" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the possible reasons is fear. You are a psychologist, I am probably telling you nothing new with this sentence :) but here is an example of how it can work: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My aunt has two children younger than me. The boy is two years older than the girl. My aunt and uncle were always afraid that the older boy might start bullying his defenseless little sister. As a result, they always solved conflict in her interest. When the two children started screaming, the parents came, reprimanded them for fighting. Both children were trying to explain their viewpoint, but the adults were not listening. They just said &quot;Stop fighting and screaming, you should be civilized children and not wild beasts, so hush. And [son's name], I don't want you bothering your sister! I don't want to hear any excuses. &quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even to my teenage self, this seemed unfair to both children, especially to my male cousin. I don't even know if they &lt;em&gt;liked&lt;/em&gt; the girl more, it was an automatic wish to protect her from the stronger child where no such protection was needed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now both my cousins are young adults. They both have some nice character features, but my female cousin is also a spoiled brat and my male cousin is always doing what others tell him, afraid to speak his mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fear is a great blinder. So, don't let your fears as a parent to blind you into favoritism... or maybe your fear of being a favorising parent to blind you to some other kind of mistake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6775" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T23:23:45.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11422" CreationDate="2014-02-09T23:25:02.583" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends on the child, at 6 my daughter could easily make a peanut butter sandwitch or a bowl of cereal... But at 8 my son didn't do either.  Now they are 13 and 11, and cook one full family meal a week!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's bad to have a child make some of their own meals, it's how they learn.  I don't mean you should stick them with a microwave meal 3x a day so you never cook... But making some is good for them, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6768" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T23:25:02.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11422" CreationDate="2014-02-09T23:55:41.927" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends on what you consider a meal. Peanut-butter and Jelly sandwiches? 5 or 6, I expect. Something hot or that requires a knife? You'd have to spend time cooking with them to know when it would be ok. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids could make batter from scratch and cook pancakes on an electric griddle by themselves at eight, but I wouldn't let them do it without an adult close at hand until maybe 10, spaghetti at about the same age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes a lot of time working with them to make sure they are safe . . . keep hot surfaces clear, pot handles back, don't leave knives hanging off the edge of the counter . . . safety is the important part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-09T23:55:41.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11426" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-10T00:13:32.933" Score="5" ViewCount="368" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am concerned that my 25 month old son's speech may not be on par. Most of his sentences consists of a noun and a verb. For example: &lt;em&gt;Daddy eat&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;mommy swim&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also mispronounces certain words while others come out perfectly clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal at that age? I know another couple with a 23 month old who is forming very clear sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6776" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-10T10:37:53.733" LastActivityDate="2014-02-20T13:04:02.790" Title="Is my 2 year old's speech on-par?" Tags="|toddler|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11353" CreationDate="2014-02-10T01:41:12.790" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My &quot;educated&quot; guess (based on experience) is that a child will generally recognize their shadow is their own during the younger half of age three (36-42 months) My son is almost four, and we have been playing &quot;shadow games&quot; since the summer, when we traced our shadows with chalk in the driveway. On the other hand, my almost two year old doesn't quite grasp it yet.  He is aware of the cause and effect though, so he's well on his way. That's the closest I can narrow it to. I hope that helps! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh,and by the way, according to my baby journal, my little one was able to communicate that he recognized his reflection at age 17 months. ( Me: who's that? Baby: &quot;baby! &quot; and points to self. It changed to &quot;Me&quot; at age 21 mos.) although, it's arguable that that's not exactly the same as when he was able to recognize himself. How would one know though without reliable communication, which doesn't come until later?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-02-10T12:33:59.793" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T12:33:59.793" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11387" CreationDate="2014-02-10T02:14:37.573" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think age ten is perfect. Before the middle school drama sets in. I travelled to Arizona (from New England) alone to meet my grandfather there when I was 11, and it was wonderful. I mean, I had a flight attendant chaperone, but I felt so grown up without my little brother and parents. And then, it was super to have the one on one time with my grandpa. Pretty soon after that trip, things started to get difficult, but it was just that usual teen hormone roller coaster stuff. This is a little different that your &quot;dream trip&quot; but it gets to my point about the age and also supports your opinion that traveling can inspire confidence and will provide that &quot;grown up&quot; feeling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do it. Don't go crazy with the spending though! As others commented, it doesn't have to be expensive, fancy, or far. My AZ trip was a bit far, but some of the best memories (playing Rummy tiles and eating a whole box of Fruit Loops with gramps) could have been formed one state over and still retained their impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T02:14:37.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11429" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-10T02:29:26.873" Score="12" ViewCount="3722" Body="&lt;p&gt;My granddaughter is having trouble in school and at home, but more at school. She is 5 1/2 years old and in kindergarten.  She is having trouble not being still, moving hands or feet, and humming or singing.  If the teacher explains how to do a picture she does it her way instead of how the teacher wants it done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have already put her by herself at a desk away from the other kids, and given her two one hour detentions and now a three hour one also.  She is having a really hard time because she wants friends, but isn't allowed to interact with any.  She loves people and does want to talk and sing all of the time, but when she comes out of school she is real quiet.  What can I do to help her? I think the school is overly strict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6778" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-02-11T16:42:56.657" LastActivityDate="2017-05-23T09:48:43.963" Title="Is it normal for a five year-old to be put in detention repeatedly for not being able to sit still and be quiet?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11426" CreationDate="2014-02-10T04:11:16.677" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, it's normal.&lt;/strong&gt;  The speed of speech development varies widely, but all that's expected from a two-to-three year-old is that they form two-word phrases and speak sufficiently comprehensibly to be understood by their parents, which your son seems to be doing just fine.  Boys also tend to be slower to pick up speech than girls.  Here's a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/pages/speechandlanguage.aspx&quot;&gt;handy milestone chart&lt;/a&gt; from the US Dept of Health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T04:11:16.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11429" CreationDate="2014-02-10T04:36:41.243" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds a lot like my son's experience with school.  It got worse, until in first grade he was crying most of the day, and we decided to withdraw him from school and educate him at home.  Some kids just don't fit very well in the traditional classroom model.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The symptoms are suggestive of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/index.shtml&quot;&gt;ADHD&lt;/a&gt;, but only a professional can make that determination, or rule out other possibilities.  If you decide to continue with her current school, your next step would be to get an official diagnosis from a child psychiatrist, then initiate an &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individualized_Education_Program&quot;&gt;IEP&lt;/a&gt; process or 504 plan, or whatever the equivalent is in your jurisdiction.  That will ensure the school is giving your grandchild the appropriate accommodations for her specific individual needs.  The psychiatrist will also give you strategies for how to help at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T04:36:41.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11429" CreationDate="2014-02-10T05:07:07.450" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;She may have an attention deficit, but as Karl says, that's a medical diagnosis, and not one that's easy to make in a single visit to a pediatrician. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has she been to pre-school? Most kids have, and they have had a year or two of classroom-style interactions your daughter may have missed. She might just have to learn how we do things in a classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the detentions . . . I teach fourteen-year-old kids, and I wouldn't give a two hour detention. It's pointless. Fifteen minutes of lunch is usually quite enough, especially if it's a consistent &quot;reward&quot; for a given behavior. Two hours? When could they do that? You'd have to pick her up at 5:00pm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like time for some personal observation. A parent should sit in class for a day and see what's expected of all the kids, and how your granddaughter is doing. Don't be confrontational - - you need information you don't have in order to address this, but something needs to be done or she'll learn she's stupid and she hates school. That's a lesson that's hard to un-teach!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T05:07:07.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11429" CreationDate="2014-02-10T06:03:24.613" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are any number of conditions that might describe your granddaughter's behaviour but none that would be helped by the school's actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is seems quite common for children to have low level issues that remain hidden until they reach school. These can be managed if diagnosed correctly, even if the diagnosis is simply that the child is a bit young and immature. We had troubles with our son at a similar age; he has sensory and hearing problems that he is now dealing successfully with (described &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11201/suggestions-for-a-5-year-old-who-cant-sit-still-in-her-chair/11206#11206&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;) . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also had issues getting the school to give him the help he needed. We learned very quickly not to trust the school's assessment (teacher, head teacher and principal were all wrong) and found ourselves educating them with the correct course of action. It sounds like everything the school is doing is counter-productive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T06:03:24.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11429" CreationDate="2014-02-10T10:05:37.463" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, helping her may require medical consultation. See a doctor in order to determine whether she has ADHD or other similar condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does she say when you ask her why does she do those things? Perhaps she is capable of stopping on her own. I remember I used to have some weird tics (? non- or partly-intentional movements). For a while my parents did nothing, but after they pointed out to me that I am doing it I started controlling myself and they disappeared completely. It wasn't that It was involuntary movement, I think just started doing it &quot;because&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest some relaxing exercises. Have you tried doing some yoga with her? Or pilates/zumba/aerobics? If you have never done any of these yourself, you are in the best position to start right now and try to &quot;drag&quot; her along with you. If she likes it, I think doing it may help her. Such excercises will keep her focused on her body, all her moves will have to be controlled. This is my intuition only, I have no experience in this matter. I can't think of any negative consequences of trying it, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T10:05:37.463" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11422" CreationDate="2014-02-10T10:34:22.657" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say about the age of 6-7 is a good time to start learning making sandwitches and heating milk/pre-made meals in microwave. It may come in handy once the kids go to school instead of kindergarden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working with tosters, induction plates, other things that get hot but are otherwise safe - some time after they have mastered making sandwitches. 8-9 yo I guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Operating gas stoves, grills, things there's reall flame, or handling really sharp meat knives - again, later. 12-13 I think would be a good time to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All those things have to be started under supervision, then, as the kids understand how everything works and become more proficient and accustomed to the dangers, the supervision may be dropped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T10:34:22.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11422" CreationDate="2014-02-10T13:06:23.113" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a child can do is not the same as what a parent should allow them to do or what a parent should force them to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If one left whole-grain crackers and cereal on the counter and stocked the fridge with milk, cheese cubes, hummus, fruit, and cut-up veggies, a three-year-old could certainly feed herself whenever she was hungry and satisfy every nutritional need.  We don't do this because children have emotional needs as well as physical ones.  Children need to be nurtured/cared for by human beings for their brains to develop properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to know that their parents are taking care of them and will defend them and protect them and keep them safe.  Children need to be smiled at and hugged and talked to and responded to.   Offering food is part of nurturing.  Children learn that they are cared for, and that their parents want them to be healthy and happy and are willing to work -- and argue with them -- to make that happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The age a child should be made to take responsibility for feeding themselves varies from child to child and culture to culture.  A twenty-two-year old living in your house is old enough; you may negotiate an arrangement in which you provide the meals, but it is not required.  A six-year-old should not be made to do this.  They still need nurturing from their parents; their brains are still developing.  There might be a situation where it is necessary occasionally, or even for 1-2 meals each day -- e.g., if a single parent has to work long hours -- but that is in the context of necessity, and you make it clear that it's not by your choice.  You don't do this because you decide it's too much bother to feed your kids when you could be playing video games.  (Though letting your kids get their own cereal on Saturday morning, thereby allowing you to sleep in, will not hurt them, and teaches them that they can do things on their own.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond this... if you are doing a good job as a parent, making your kids feel loved and secure and teaching them how to take care of themselves and to do some chores around the house, at some point they start to feel ready to take on the responsibility of feeding themselves.  At this point, encourage it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let your five-year old make her own PBJ, let your seven-year-old heat soup in the microwave.  Teach your twelve-year-old to make a pot roast for the family dinner.  If you are in the kitchen, ready to eat with them when they are done, wonderful; this is part of helping them grow up.  If you need to be gone or sleeping when they do this, all right, it's necessary.  If it's the weekend/vacation and your kids are independent and comfortable with fixing themselves a nutritious meal for their lunch, you can let that be the plan for the day.  But until they are eighteen (on average, and in most U.S. cultures; children mature at different rates, and cultures vary), you should provide at least one sit-down meal daily (home-cooked by preference, but a healthy breakfast of cereal, fruit and yogurt works if it has to), during which you take the time to demonstrate that you are an engaged, caring parent -- no matter how pressed for time you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2014-02-10T17:30:22.767" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T17:30:22.767" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11437" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11439" CreationDate="2014-02-10T17:29:06.310" Score="3" ViewCount="525" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has Paronychia, a swelling around his nail quite possibly where he sucks his fingers a lot from teething. Online websites suggest &quot;warm soaks&quot; for 15 mins, 3-4 times a day using 50% water and 50% antibacterial soap mixture.  Unfortunately, the idea that a 7month old will allow us to soak his hands for an hour a day is... well, unlikely to be agreed to by the young lad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this and had any tricks up their sleeves for keeping a 7 month old's hands in the water/soap mix for this or similar treatments?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6756" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-02-11T13:14:39.047" LastActivityDate="2014-02-11T13:14:39.047" Title="How do you get a 7 month old to keep their hands soaking to treat Paronychia?" Tags="|infant|medicine|water|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11438" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-10T18:56:01.293" Score="1" ViewCount="17811" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3-year-old grandson. It doesn't matter where he is, ice cold tile floor or on his bed, he lays down to play. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read that in some children this can be a sign of a learning/sensory disability but he is a very precocious boy. One item I did read about that related to him is he doesn't like to be held upside down.  He does seem to have a type A personality where everything must be perfect or he has a serious fit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be concerned?  If so, what should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6780" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-05T12:20:23.260" LastActivityDate="2020-07-05T05:51:28.360" Title="Is it normal for a 3-year-old to always lay down when playing?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|development|grandparents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11437" CreationDate="2014-02-10T21:09:12.597" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A warm soak doesn't have to be sitting around with hands in a bowl. Try filling a sink, or, even the high chair tray (you will need to refill often probably, and, need several towels or a mop to clean spills) with the warm soapy water and a few toys and see if the baby will play. I don't know too many kids that don't like playing in soapy water. The biggest challenge in this case will be to make sure he doesn't eat/drink it. Perhaps a natural/non toxic antibiotic soap is best? I can't think of a specific product but I'm sure something exists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-10T21:09:12.597" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11438" CreationDate="2014-02-11T02:38:10.657" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't like to be held upside down either. I wouldn't read anything into that. As to playing on the floor, I teach eighth grade, and when I let my 14 year olf students move around the classroom to work with friends, a third will end up laying on the floor, working on their math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the fits, he may be frustrated with his wants outpacing his abilities. If he talks, walks, eats, and is generally age appropriate, I wouldn't worrying too much about frustration just yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-11T02:38:10.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11443" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-11T03:01:59.637" Score="3" ViewCount="194" Body="&lt;p&gt;Up until 6 months, we didn't try to train our child to sleep to any particular routine; fed her on demand through the night.  At about 6 months we started to cry it out, and after one unpleasant night of howling, she quickly adjusted to sleeping around 6 hours at one go. Lucky us, I thought, having heard many stories of people taking weeks to train their child to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in the last two weeks she's begun to crawl, sit up and stand, and this has coincided with her struggling to go to sleep; whereas she'd been going to sleep in ten minute or less, without crying much, she's now back to bawling for up to 45 minutes.  She'll sit up, lean back, bang her head on the side of the crib, then crawl around, sit up, bang her head again, ad infinitum, while continuing to howl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? Should we adjust our approach now that she's more mobile?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T13:37:14.367" Title="Regression in sleeping for a seven month old - is that normal?" Tags="|infant|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11444" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-11T07:36:21.947" Score="5" ViewCount="1720" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old son eats his boogers. I think most kids do. But it is not socially acceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked him to stop and he asked me why - and told me that he liked how they taste. So I told him that I did not like to watch it and many people did not want to see him do it, and that he should at least do it in private until one day, most likely, he will grow out of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I presume that, like me, most kids do this and grow out of it. Is this accurate? Is there a more rational, healthy (in terms of not shameing) approach to this issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although this question is similar to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/212/how-do-i-get-my-child-to-stop-picking-his-nose&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/212/how-do-i-get-my-child-to-stop-picking-his-nose&lt;/a&gt;, it does not start with the presumption that the act itself is 'bad'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1500" LastActivityDate="2014-02-13T00:33:17.210" Title="Is eating boogers a problem? (and how can I respond?)" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|habits|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11444" CreationDate="2014-02-11T15:58:16.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The health factor is that mucus (a.k.a. boogers) is a primary vector for many infectious diseases, including the ever-popular colds and flus.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using your fingers to remove mucus means that your fingers are then coated in contagious pathogens (&quot;germs&quot;).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You use your fingers to touch everything from food to toys, and also for direct person-to-person contact like hand-shaking.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything you touch then potentially carries those germs, and transfers them to the next person to touch them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By eating them, he's merely adding his own saliva (another primary vector) to the mix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there absolutely is a health issue involved.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using a tissue helps reduce contact with his fingers.  At the very least, you should tell him that he needs to wash his hands each and every time he does this, immediately after.  Either it will teach him rigorous hygiene habits, or the hassle of having to wash his hands so frequently may teach him to use a tissue :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-02-11T15:58:16.700" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11446" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11449" CreationDate="2014-02-11T21:05:29.877" Score="6" ViewCount="1887" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a newborn that's a couple days old, still on colostrum, and we're struggling to get the baby to breastfeed on the 1-3 hour cadence that our doctor recommends. The complication is that our baby has a bit of jaundice which makes her tired such that she falls asleep promptly after latching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the recommended ways to keep baby awake and feeding without getting her angry/frustrated and unable to continue feeding?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6789" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-02-11T22:19:33.717" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T04:35:21.417" Title="How to keep jaundiced two-day-old awake during breastfeedings?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11447" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-12T00:56:34.647" Score="4" ViewCount="2101" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is bright, able, and enthusiastic about learning, but has a really hard time initiating a variety of tasks - even those she enjoys.  Admitedly, I am not unlike her.  It is almost as if a &quot;warm-up&quot; is needed before the task can happen.  As an adult I can understand what I am doing and sort of give myself a pep-talk and I can plow forward and get the job done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter on the other hand. . . As a seven-year old on her way to eight, I understand that some of this is developmental, but whether the task is going to read a book she loves, or writing a paragraph for school, she often gets distracted with other things along the way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, when told to get dressed and ready to go to Tai Kwon Do, she might get her pants and a tank-top on, but forget to put on the shirt because she can't find it (even though it is hanging in the closet right where it belongs) and in forgetting she might start re-packing her gear bag (even though it is unnecessary for the forms class she is headed to).  Then, she might also need to be reminded to fill her water bottle and pack it as well (despite the checklist I've made up and attached to the bag for her to use so she doesn't forget anything that she used to use successfully).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This kind of stuff is especially a problem when it comes to getting school work done.  She'll sharpen her pencils, realize she needs an eraser and take 10 minutes to find one (even though there are about twenty in the spot in the desk drawer right where they belong), and then follow that up with some other &quot;need&quot; like going potty or grabbing a drink of water, &quot;because I'm thirsty mom&quot; - &quot;but what about the bottle of water you already have on your desk?&quot;. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the longest time, I've approached the problem as though it were simply either a forgetfulness or a behavioral issue, but I'm realizing that although it doesn't affect me when she struggles with this even during activities she enjoys, she does in fact, have trouble even when it is an activity she enjoys.  For example, she might have trouble finding the book she wants to read, forget she was going to read and start playing with dolls instead (of course, this is of no consequence unless she is specifically supposed to be reading because it is &quot;quiet time before bed or something). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize, this is an executive function skill, and is one of those symptoms often associated with ADD/ADHD.  I am suspicious she has this challenge and am working on getting her evaluated, but in the mean-time we still have to limp along and get through school work as well as the logistics of any given day.  I think it is beginning to affect her confidence, and my patience is beginning to wear on the thin side on this one.  Since I don't really feel it is a problem related to motivation any more, I'm wondering if others have found an answer that was successful for them with their Elementary-School-aged-child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-02-20T03:52:14.143" Title="How do I help a child overcome Severe difficulty with Task Initiation?" Tags="|primary-schooler|adhd|focus|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11448" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-12T01:04:08.940" Score="8" ViewCount="19389" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year old daughter has been bathing by herself for some time now, but I find I have to send her back in for another &quot;rinse&quot; quite frequently as I can still see suds and bubbles in her hair from her shampoo.  I think the problem is two-fold in that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She is using too much soap despite didactic suggestion about how to &quot;measure out&quot; the right amount.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She simply doesn't rinse well enough.  On this count, the background knowledge that she has been fearful of getting water in her face since she was a baby/toddler and that while she has mostly moved past this fear, I think she may still be a bit trepidatious about it, is probably important.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I make sure she gets all the soap out while still honoring her privacy and without having to have her come to me and get &quot;checked&quot; before she can get dressed all the time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2015-05-10T16:06:27.500" LastActivityDate="2015-05-10T16:06:27.500" Title="How to teach my daughter to get the shampoo rinsed out of her hair throughly?" Tags="|hygiene|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11446" CreationDate="2014-02-12T01:09:32.007" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should definitely call the lactation counselor if you haven't already. They will give individualized advice that no one here can. In addition, they will also provide some reassurance that your baby IS getting enough to eat, that you are doing ok, and that your baby is going to be ok. Call them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Tickle the baby's feet&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2) Change the baby's diaper (you probably need to anyway)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;3) Lower the lights. (Babies are used to total darkness and will close their eyes in bright lights, which obviously encourages sleep)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;4) Undress a bit of baby here and there. The jostling disturbs them as well as the cold air. Don't &lt;em&gt;completely&lt;/em&gt; undress, just expose an arm here and then a little chest there.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;5) Try an &quot;unfamiliar hold&quot; such as the football hold if you've been doing crossover, or vice versa.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;6) if your baby favors one breast over the other, offer the less favorite one first- she might stay awake for a &quot;second course&quot; from her favorite.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those worked for my sleepy babies. That being said, newborns only nurse for a few minutes tops anyway, so make sure your expectations are realistic. AND, as your lactation counselor most likely mentioned, they only NEED a few minutes anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-02-12T04:35:21.417" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T04:35:21.417" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11447" CreationDate="2014-02-12T01:35:45.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a very interesting question, I know those issues quite well from our 6-year-old son and I often see parallels to my own behavior..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that this kind of &quot;absent-minded-ness&quot;, &quot;daydreams&quot; and &quot;getting lost in details&quot; might to a large extent be normal for children and exactly what makes the difference between their way to approach things and our &quot;adult&quot; way: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a solution for you, but one hint that might help finding information: many of those issues you describe sound very similar to me to a phenomenon called &lt;strong&gt;procrastination&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definition of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrastination&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;procrastination&lt;/a&gt; from Wikipedia: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Procrastination is the practice of carrying out less urgent tasks in&#xA;  preference to more urgent ones, or doing more pleasurable things in&#xA;  place of less pleasurable ones, and thus putting off impending tasks&#xA;  to a later time, sometimes to the &quot;last minute&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not exactly the same, as for our children I have the impression that they're just easily distracted and quickly loose/forget the focus on something they just had.&#xA;As you also state, for the children it is not only to &quot;avoid&quot; things they did not like to do, but also prevents them from things they would like to do (we suppose).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless I think that there might be some parallels where it makes sense to have a look at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also think that &lt;em&gt;getting lost in details&lt;/em&gt; like we observe it here might go together with &lt;strong&gt;perfectionism&lt;/strong&gt; (see also at wikipedia: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrastination#Perfectionism&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrastination#Perfectionism&lt;/a&gt; )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/procrastination&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Psychology Today&lt;/a&gt; says about procrastination:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Everyone procrastinates sometimes, but 20 percent of people&#xA;  chronically avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for&#xA;  distractions—which, unfortunately, are increasingly available.&#xA;  Procrastination in large part reflects our perennial struggle with&#xA;  self-control as well as our inability to accurately predict how we'll&#xA;  feel tomorrow, or the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crosslink: The topic of procrastination is also often discussed in &quot;Personal Productivity Stack Exchange&quot;:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://productivity.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/procrastination&quot;&gt;https://productivity.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/procrastination&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:52:18.723" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T01:35:45.513" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11438" CreationDate="2014-02-12T02:11:46.283" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son still does this occasionally (he's nearly 6). He is a very sensory child and we have been address this (described &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11201/suggestions-for-a-5-year-old-who-cant-sit-still-in-her-chair/11206#11206&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;) for the past year. If your grandson is craving sensory input, they it is not a bad thing. Are there any other signs of him sensory seeking? Such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;chewing toys, pencils, etc... &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bumping into things and people &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;rolling on the floor if stressed or overloaded&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If&lt;/em&gt; he is sensory seeking, you need to work with him. He is already self-medicating, you (and the parents) need to support that process and help him get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possible cause is that the child may lack core body strength. Many children these days do not have a strong core so it is hard for them to sit straight. This can be seen, for example, in the way they write/draw. A weak child may hold their breath while drawing to help keep their body rigid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or it could be something else but keep in mind that children rarely do things for no reason. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T02:11:46.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11448" CreationDate="2014-02-12T04:09:06.777" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nine year old boy constantly had soap in his hair after showering, despite being in there long enough to rinse Chewbacca (of Star Wars fame) thoroughly.  We installed a hand held shower head (so he could get it right up close to his head,) and it solved the problem. This might work for you too, since your daughter will be able have enough control to rinse well and not get any water in her face.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's another bit to think about: If her hair is pretty clean to begin with, the shampoo will suds too much even if she IS using the right amount.  If her hair isn't greasy, sweaty, or have any &quot;debris&quot; in it, I would suggest that maybe every other day shampooing might help. It won't suds up so much, so she won't have as much to rinse.  At the very least, it will minimize her exposure to the soap preventing dandruff/dry skin/rashes that may develop from residue left behind.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My last suggestion is that if you think she's just not doing it long enough maybe a song is the answer. Such as, decide how long you think she should be rinsing, then find a song she can sing that takes about that long (or multiple repetitions of a shorter song, etc) and have her sing it out loud. This way, you can be outside the bathroom &quot;listening&quot; to her rinse (respecting her privacy), and it will provide her with a  &quot;timer&quot; she can take in the tub. I found that my son, who is easily distracted, is less so if he has something to keep his mind busy while he needs to do something with his hands, and vice versa (he has something to do with his hands when he needs to mentally focus).  A song might make it fun too, and anything fun is more likely to get done!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-02-15T00:39:33.793" LastActivityDate="2014-02-15T00:39:33.793" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11453" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-12T05:55:47.120" Score="9" ViewCount="1704" Body="&lt;p&gt;During the last few months, I've been having a lot of concerns about my 5 year old son's behavior. I was a single mom and have been his main influence up until a little over a year ago. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was born naturally and healthy. We had to get involved with Early Intervention &quot;Birth to Three&quot; program when he was about 6 months old. He was diagnosed with &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torticollis&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;torticollis&lt;/a&gt;, the tightening of the muscles in his neck. He mainly stayed on his right side in the birth canal which caused him to have to go through physical therapy. They did some tests and we've worked with a therapist every week who would come in do stretches and exercises to loosen up his neck muscles so it made it easier for him to start crawling, sitting up, and rolling over. From 6 months of age to 3 years I worked with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is developmentally delayed. He was referred to attend preschool at a school for children with delays and other disabilities. Before we stopped meeting with the physical therapists she gave me information on Sensory Integration Dysfunction for children with sensory issues, which falls on the Autism spectrum. He's never been formally diagnosed and does really well in school. He has worked with the same preschool teacher since he started there. She has more concerns with his learning abilities than his behavior - but I am experiencing problems with him at home. I had to go meet with her and explain to her some of the behaviors I have been dealing with along with hyperactivity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the hyperactivity, she sees that may be a problem when he goes into Kindergarten next year, because he will have 1 teacher and no teacher's assistants. It will be all day, and not just  afternoon classes and the morning and afternoon will be all in one class next year. I informed her that my son has gone through a lot of changes at home, like the loss of our pet cat, which he is randomly bringing up and saying he misses her because she ran away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have a dog that we have to watch him with, because he gets too rough with her. One morning I heard the dog yelp and found that he had bit the dog. He couldn't give a reason as to why. Having to move twice in the past year I'm sure has confused him, because we had lived in the same place since he was born. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A male authority figure stepped in last year. He doesn't like my boyfriend because he sets down rules which I also try to be consistent with. His father hasn't been in the picture for the past few years due to being incarcerated, and my son is scared of law enforcement. He worries when he sees them that he may lose me too. I just recently got him into counseling where the counselor is going to do a parenting style counseling with me and my son because of his age, and so he can get to know him. It's too soon for him to see anything with my son because he's only seen him once, and I need some advice soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation has been very stressful to my family. I try to talk to my son with direct eye contact, and all I get in return is disrespect, yelling, asking me &quot;what?&quot; and looking away because he doesn't want me looking at him. He requires a lot of my attention and I don't ever get a break. But it seems like he is always doing something repeatedly that he has been told not to do and for which he knows that there will be a consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried reward systems such as sticker charts, and now the teacher and I exchange journals back and forth. He gets marks in the journal at school and a prize. But if he gets a bad note from home he doesn't get the mark at school, and the teacher talks to him about the problems.  I alert her of what he is lying about and repeatedly doing at home. When he's been bad and knows it he says &quot;Mom you going to write me a good note&quot; I tell him &quot;No&quot; because I'm not going to lie to his teacher, and I explain to him why that's wrong, but he asks me that almost every time he knows he's getting a bad note. I praise him and reward him for positive behavior then after he's been rewarded he turns negative all a sudden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6791" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-02-12T14:10:48.020" LastActivityDate="2015-01-31T17:11:16.190" Title="What can I do to get my 5 year old to have respect and self control?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|autism|sensory|hyperactiveness|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11453" CreationDate="2014-02-12T07:31:17.703" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dear Amanda,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should seek professional help for your son. However great suggestions here may be, you &lt;em&gt;have to&lt;/em&gt; get in touch with a good child psychologist and work with him and your son. You will be working for his and your own future and well being and mental health. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem very stressed and worried. Try to catch a break. Just one day of rest, of your son staying at your parents' will let you look at the whole situation from a different perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And don't give up. All three of you are going to make through this. There'll come a day when you look back at all this, remember all the hard work you've done, and smile with satisfaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, remember that this site is not a place to get medical advice. Internet is, in general, a poor source of medical information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-12T14:36:42.023" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T14:36:42.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11429" CreationDate="2014-02-12T09:02:41.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No,  this is not normal.   In fact I find it disgusting. The detentions are bad enough,  but from what you have said,   you granddaughter has been completely segregated from the rest of the class during lessons as well? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this was one of my children I would arrange a meeting with the principle and class teacher to fully understand what is going on. Perhaps it isn't as bad as the image I now have in my head and it is only reasonable to hear their side. I can't imagine many scenarios where I would end up happy though,  so would be fully prepared to consider other options than that school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a completely separate issue it does sound like your granddaughter might be having some particular difficulties that need further investigation,  so would agree with others about consulting the appropriate specialists. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="910" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T09:02:41.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11447" CreationDate="2014-02-12T10:34:09.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recognize this problem, both in myself and in my eldest son. Both of us have been found by one of our parents, a sock on one foot, the other sock in our hands, hovering near the other foot, reading a (comic) book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you said, it's not a problem of motivation. And although your patience is beginning to wear thin, what I found that &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; help is a constant reminder, up to the point of sounding like a broken record.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep reminding her of the task at hand, or, at a higher level, keep reminding her of the checklist to follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And go ahead with that ADD/ADHD evaluation. That may very well be the cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you could also look into, is &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pomodoro&lt;/a&gt; or a variant. The idea is that you timebox tasks, breaking them up into smaller tasks of about 25 minutes worth, with 5 minute breaks inbetween and longer breaks after a couple of cycles. Of course 25 minutes is too long for tasks such as getting dressed, but the important part is breaking it down in parts you can grasp &amp;mdash; not necessarily task-wise, but time-wise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you have an hour and a half to get up, wash, get dressed, eat, play a little, gather your stuff, and get ready for school, it seems as if you have forever. You (well, I) tend to underestimate the time each task takes. Dividing it into little slots adds a sense of urgency, just the right amount needed to get started &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; instead of &quot;in a minute&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I think it's important to keep all pomodori the same size. If the task is too big for a single one, break it up, if it's too small, add another small task. But having them the same size helps you get a feel of how long something takes.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Another benefit is getting little senses of acomplishment, each time a pomodoro is completed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are all kinds of Pomodoro timers available, physical or as an &lt;a href=&quot;https://productivity.stackexchange.com/questions/717/which-computer-based-pomodoro-timers-exist-and-what-are-their-features&quot;&gt;app for a smartphone or tablet&lt;/a&gt;, but a simle stopwatch will suffice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:52:18.723" LastActivityDate="2014-02-13T15:48:22.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11443" CreationDate="2014-02-12T13:37:14.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds totally normal. I assume you mean that she repeats the &quot;head bonk&quot; cycle for 45 mins then goes to sleep. Basically, she's now got the ability to move, and this corresponds with a heightened brain activity (if for no other reason than she's excited to move).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6288/how-do-we-stop-our-daughter-rolling-over-and-waking-herself-up&quot;&gt;The answers to this question cover most of the same ground&lt;/a&gt; about what to do, but the main victim of just ignoring her till she sleeps (which, as she was fine with it before, shouldn't be a problem) will be your nerves as she howls. Turn on the TV or stick in some headphones. Assuming the cot's correctly set to the deepest setting possible (once they can crawl, they can climb), she's not going to hurt herself, and nothing you can do is going to make her go to sleep that won't wear off the second you try and leave the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the crying's constant, going in at regular intervals as in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6291/147&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; helps a lot, but if every leaving just leads to louder crying (and that crying stops immediately once you enter, so it's not &quot;I need food&quot; or &quot;I have nappy rash&quot;), not going in at all is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing worth confirming, is she teething at all? If so, a small dose of Calpol or teething gel just before bed makes a huge, &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt; difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps, and remember, it gets better!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T13:37:14.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11453" CreationDate="2014-02-12T14:39:35.100" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't speak to much of your post, but I have a step-nephews (8 and 11 now) who have sensory integration issues and I want to offer what little I know that might be helpful there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is good to make eye contact when you are speaking, but it makes your son uncomfortable. The reason you want to make eye contact is to make sure he is listening to you. You can check this in other ways that might be easier for him to manage. This is how my sister-in-law does it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, stand or sit alongside of him instead of in front of him. Scootch down to his level if necessary. For her boys, they self-soothe by twisting or rolling things in their hands, so she lets them do this while she talks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, set out very clear expectations or say what you need to say in short, logically ordered sentences. Glance at him if you like, but don't force him to look at you. When you are done, ask him if he understands and then ask him to tell you in his own words what you just discussed. Make sure he gets it, particularly that he is following your logic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She thinks that her boys tend to break rules because they have difficulty remembering them since they seem arbitrary, but she can gauge how well they will behave by how well they process the logic behind the rules she has explained. She still spends a lot of time reining in their impulsivity, but they do &lt;em&gt;get&lt;/em&gt; it and can be reminded to think it through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T14:39:35.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11447" CreationDate="2014-02-12T14:51:16.550" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try drilling: repeatedly doing the same sequence of steps in a task as fast as possible. The repetitions don't have to be back to back, but pick a couple of rote daily tasks and do it every day or every other day for a few days or as long as it might be enjoyable/acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do this with my eldest (as a fun game) to see how fast he can get ready for school. We use the same order every day. Timing it seems to help him stay focused on what he's doing, and it seems to have helped his focus in general. We also started doing this for my youngest for eating too—not to rush him, but just to remind him without having to say &quot;eat your dinner&quot; eight hundred times in twenty minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T14:51:16.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11444" CreationDate="2014-02-12T16:19:58.657" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Current studies actually show that nose-picking has positive health effects, by introducing weakened pathogens in a way that the immune system can develop a response without getting sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nose-picking&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nose-picking&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T16:19:58.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11448" CreationDate="2014-02-12T16:34:26.117" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps cleaning her hair without shampoo is a better match for her. There are many resources detailing methods to go &quot;shampoo-free&quot;. Some involve water only, others involve a small amount of baking soda or other ingredients. In general, it takes about 2-6 weeks to make the transition, so good to make the change over a school break or other time period where there is less worry about appearance for a while. Once she makes the transition, then she won't need to worry about getting shampoo in her eyes while washing her hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had found it nearly impossible to get the shampoo lather completely out of my hair when I was washing with soft water. I made the change to shampoo-free during my maternity leave 4 years ago and haven't used shampoo since. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4538" LastActivityDate="2014-02-12T16:34:26.117" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11444" CreationDate="2014-02-13T00:33:17.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why not try to eliminate the supply?  If there are no boogers to eat, there is no problem right? You could try using saline spray/drops and having him blow his nose frequently to get rid of the mucous.  If he's got the dry type try a humidifier. Eventually, if there's nothing up there to eat, he'll stop digging. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another suggestion is to ignore it altogether. I know it's gross and embarrassing but sometimes the more you try to stop a behavior the more you enforce it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-13T00:33:17.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11448" CreationDate="2014-02-13T06:03:12.973" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't have her wash her hair in the shower. Wash it at the sink or using a bowl instead, like at the hairdresser's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way, your daughter can be fully clothed, or at least enough to respect her privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could even make it a game, playing hairdresser, washing each others hair. By washing yours, she can see how much and how thorough she needs to rinse to get rid of all the suds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, you could try having her take a shower while wearing her bathing suit or something similar, just a couple of times, to see what goes wrong without invading her privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-02-14T09:24:31.350" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T09:24:31.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1992" CreationDate="2014-02-13T14:37:16.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do not use training wheels. Ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get your child a balance bicycle (aka a run bike). That way, they'll get a feel for the balance. Let them learn how to pedal on a tricycle if needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When using training wheels, it's easy to learn things they need to unlearn when losing the training wheels, like pulling or pushing on the handles too much, or leaning in one direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids could ride a bike when barely three, and four, respectively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2014-02-13T14:37:16.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7858" CreationDate="2014-02-13T15:35:57.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make them eat apples. I found this to be the best way to make my teeth fall out (especially the front ones). Good strong apples are both good for health and powerful enough to cause a lose tooth to get lodged in them. If a tooth is not loose enough to be pulled out by an apple then it shouldn't be pulled at all.&#xA;Additionally losing a tooth while eating an apple is completely painless and most of the time you do not even realize that the tooth came out until much later. So the kids will not be even terrified.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So do not rush and just give them an apple a day :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2231" LastActivityDate="2014-02-13T15:35:57.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5467" CreationDate="2014-02-13T18:38:13.287" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Milk bought in stores undergoes a process called &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homogenization_%28chemistry%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;homogenisation&lt;/a&gt; which ensures that globules of different sizes, which naturally exist in milk, are split into smaller pieces, which in turn allows the fluid to not separate when left on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breast milk is not homogenised, so larger fats will separate from smaller fats, all fats will separate from proteins and proteins will separate from water. In time, a gradient of heavier-larger molecules on the bottom and smaller-lighter molecules on the top will appear. &lt;strong&gt;This is completely normal&lt;/strong&gt;. In fact, it would be very strange if it didn't happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can just swirl the bottle a few times and the milk will be good as new:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are rules to how long can a milk be stored where:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the fridge (~4 degrees Celsius) - 2 to 5 days (varies depending on the source, 2 days will be safe for sure); it also depends on temperature, the lower it is, the longer the milk will remain fresh. Also, you shouldn't keep the milk on the fridge door, since it's the hottest there. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It can lay up to 12 hours in room temperature.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It can be stored in the freezer for up to 3 months.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-14T12:31:44.800" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T12:31:44.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11471" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11472" CreationDate="2014-02-14T07:13:30.393" Score="9" ViewCount="2837" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my kids were starting on solid food, at a certain point they started being fed bread, for instance a jam&lt;sup&gt;&amp;Dagger;&lt;/sup&gt; sandwich. Of course, that needed to be cut into tiny little pieces. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using a fork and knife, however, wasn't a great way to do it. The bread would often tear and the pieces would stick to the knife, making a mess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Isn't there any better way to do this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;Dagger; Aka jelly, depending on where you live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2016-10-29T20:35:31.607" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T20:35:31.607" Title="What's a good way to cut bread into tiny pieces?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11471" CreationDate="2014-02-14T07:13:30.393" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a matter of fact, there is. Use a pair of scissors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you take a large pair of scissors, you'll be able to cut it as fine as possible. And this method isn't limited to just bread, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T07:13:30.393" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11471" CreationDate="2014-02-14T09:14:36.360" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are certain kinds of baker's goods that can be cut into small enough slices (or even pieces) with a sharp knife - like baguettes or various breadrolls. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example the breadroll below - don't cut it exactly in half, cut it into small slices and you will have several sandwiches with sizes perfectly matching the size of your kid's hands and mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/af3s0.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Baguettes&quot;&gt;, &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ps4xW.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;breadrolls&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T09:14:36.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11471" CreationDate="2014-02-14T09:32:44.950" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Freeze it first... then cut it up. By the time you are done, it will probably be thawed out for eating!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6806" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T09:32:44.950" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11471" CreationDate="2014-02-14T13:52:35.650" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did &quot;open face&quot; sandwiches - one piece of bread with something spread on it - and cut them into &quot;sticks&quot;. They can pick up the stick and bite off a piece. I probably cut 4 or 5 sticks from each slice of bread (just like &quot;soldiers&quot; for eggs.) It's easier to cut them when it's open face, because you're not squeezing out the filling as you cut through the top slice, plus the child knows what they're getting and the amount of bread is lessened so we were less worried about choking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The favourite thing for my kids to have on that bread wasn't jam or peanut butter, but the pureed meat you get in jars. YKMV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T13:52:35.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11471" CreationDate="2014-02-14T14:04:05.330" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use a chopping board.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use a bread knife - these have scalloped serrations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Place the sandwich on the chopping board.  Place the knife, blade edge down, on the sandwich.  Place one hand over the blade back and the sandwich, thus holding the sandwich safely. Or place the blade on the sandwich and place your other hand on the sandwich next to the knife - curl your fingers (fingertips touching the bread) with your knuckles resting against the edge of the blade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Draw the knife back and forth with a steady pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wash the knife with hot soapy water, rinse with hot water, dry and put away.  Do not ever leave knifes in bowls of dishwater - this is very dangerous and can lead to permanent loss of function of fingers from accidental cuts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All knives should be sharp.  Counter intuitively a sharp knife is a safer knife.  But obviously sharp blades must be kept out of reach of children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T14:04:05.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11479" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-14T15:28:54.197" Score="0" ViewCount="1777" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used our Phil&amp;amp;Teds Sport buggy for our first two kids, and it got rather filthy in the process, and now there is the third one on the way! What is the best way to wash the buggy? The fabric parts don't seem to be detachable by design...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2014-02-15T21:13:54.003" Title="How to wash Phil and Teds sports buggy?" Tags="|cleaning|stroller|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11388" CreationDate="2014-02-14T20:29:52.700" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, until they are no longer living in your house or are 18 and paying their own bill. Certain actions (sexting) could create a legal matter and if they are under 18, you would sure be involved in it. I think the most important thing is being able to have a relationship to trust your children, unfortunately there are far too many parents that aren't involved with their children enough so this is a problem in some cases. But - If you don't trust your children, why even give them a cell phone to begin with. At least one that's not locked to only call specified numbers in case of an emergency or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6812" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T20:29:52.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11482" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-14T20:51:54.250" Score="4" ViewCount="28084" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3YO takes about an hour to get to sleep every night. We start the nighttime ritual at around 8pm (brush teeth, kiss goodnight, read story, lights out, go to sleep). She requires us to be in the room (otherwise, she'll get up or call for us). She'll usually fidget with some part of her body until she passes out. She generally falls asleep between 9 and 9:30.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, every night sometime around 2 (give or take) she'll come into our room and crawl into bed with us. This isn't too big of a deal, except that she also starts fidgeting, sometimes as early as 5:30, and gets up sometime between 6:30 and 7. (Although I should note that, for perhaps 90% or more of her first 3 years, her average wake-up time was 6-6:30.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember when she was a baby, often times I remarked that it was difficult to get her to sleep, but if something made her cry for a minute or two, afterwards she'd be out pretty quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like her to fall asleep more quickly, and learn to stay in her own room at night. What can I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastActivityDate="2017-07-24T12:46:18.460" Title="3-year-old sleep issues" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|focus|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11482" CreationDate="2014-02-14T20:59:58.287" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you're doing everything. (I know people who'd love to have your problem!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd only wonder if the rest of her day is pretty structured. Does she some days nap, others not, some days nap long and late, others short and early? Meals pretty regular as well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A pretty strict schedule always worked well for my daughters. The oldest sleeps well and has a regular bedtime at nineteen years old, 1,200 miles away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T20:59:58.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11471" CreationDate="2014-02-14T22:34:53.870" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that, at the age of the child that jam sandwiches are appropriate, cutting into truly small pieces is not necessary for most breads.  I gave my then-7 month old long strips of basic store bought sandwich bread (wheat, but not crunchy-wheat), perhaps 1-2cm wide by 8cm long or so, and he dealt with it fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Younger than that I probably wouldn't give bread except as tiny bites (and even at 7mo, it was rare - he's 11mo now and has had perhaps 1 jam sandwich); bread is not very nutritious, and at that age nutrition per weight of food intake is very important.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T22:34:53.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11482" CreationDate="2014-02-14T22:49:05.463" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;sounds like you've got my almost-3yo's long lost twin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off: there's no perfect solution.  It seems to be common for some kids to have this problem.  It's a combination of wanting to make sure parents are there (I bet she often runs a distance away to see if you chase her - that's the same thing), boredom (this at least is what caused my similar issues before I had kids - happily I'm too tired now to have trouble!), and lack of self control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time will help to some degree, from what I've been told; how long depends on the child but a few years from now this will not be happening.  For now, of course, that doesn't help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the short run, you might try not starting the bedtime ritual until she's tired.  That's the biggest thing that's helped us.  Our son now starts going to bed around 9:30 or 10 many nights, but it leads to having a shorter bedtime routine and less frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-14T22:49:05.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11479" CreationDate="2014-02-15T02:33:44.707" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not familiar with this type of stroller, or, &quot;buggy&quot; as you call it, but a google search quickly brought me to the manufacturer's website where I found a &quot;support&quot; link. Here, you can search for your specific product's washing instructions (in case there are special considerations based on fabric type, etc). I'm my experience it is never apparent how to get the fabric off- you must consult the user manual, which I imagine is long gone. The website should have a downloadable version for you as long as you know the model #.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you want some non- product specific advice from a mother of three boys it is this: hose it down.  Choose a nice, warm, dry spell (it takes a few days to dry depending on the fabric).  I used to fill a small bucket with a few drops of dish soap and warm water and then use a rag to gently spot clean the really nasty stains before the general hosing. I suggest doing this on a hard surface, such as asphalt, concrete, or the like so you don't get it even dirtier in a mud puddle (I made this mistake once- you don't need to make it also.) I would then wipe down the frame and soak up as much water as I could with some towels. If you don't have agreeable weather for a hosing, the spot clean alone should do the trick. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to focus on the straps-they tend to get the dirtiest, and kids can get them in their mouth, so they need to be petrified-jelly free. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;UPDATE&lt;/em&gt; I recently started using oxygen bleach on my stroller straps because dishsoap was no longer adequate.  I spray it on then lightly agitate with an old toothbrush.  You can purchase it, or, you can make your own: in a plastic spray bottle mix 1/2 cup of baking soda with 1 cup of warm distilled water (you don't want any minerals contaminating your formula), shake to dissolve, than add 1/2 cup of 3% hydrogen peroxide (the kind you use for first aid).  I'm sorry, I don't know how to convert this to metric measurements. Please do a test to determine colorfastness before you start spraying this all over your stroller. It will need a rinse when you are done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-02-15T21:13:54.003" LastActivityDate="2014-02-15T21:13:54.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11471" CreationDate="2014-02-15T04:37:17.153" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pizza cutter.  It's also great for pancakes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user6816" LastActivityDate="2014-02-15T04:37:17.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11492" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-15T16:06:59.960" Score="20" ViewCount="1167" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know it is recommended that kids not watch TV till they are at least two years old, and even then that TV viewing be pretty minimal.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I wonder what are the actual detriments to kids older than two?  I know too much TV impedes children's time to engage in other important activities, but What &lt;strong&gt;are&lt;/strong&gt; the scientifically backed detriments?  There are actually a number of questions that inspire this question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is looking at a computer monitor the same as viewing the TV?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What about Participating in games on the computer or on a gaming system? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How about watching an older sibling participate in these activities (supposing the content being viewed is age appropriate. . . &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does the detriment still apply when they are teens?  Adulthood?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't expect answers to specifically address all of my example questions, I'm just trying to make the line of thinking clear here - I'm not asking about content and anecdotal reasoning, but real, scientifically backed evidence about what the harm really is for toddlers, school-aged kids and on up the ages and is really &quot;screen time&quot; in general that should be of concern or only TV?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please realize there is a question that addresses concerns that apply to infants &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3769/is-tv-harmful-to-my-infants-development&quot;&gt;Is TV Harmful to My Infant's Development&lt;/a&gt; and one that addresses &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6239/2876&quot;&gt;eyesight concerns of toddlers that watch and sit too close&lt;/a&gt; where I feel these questions are already answered sufficiently.  I understand and see that there are concerns regarding social interaction and language development that &lt;strong&gt;do&lt;/strong&gt; specifically apply to the youngest of us.  I'm wondering about other types of impacts and impacts for the older age groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-12T15:18:07.373" LastActivityDate="2020-08-12T15:18:07.373" Title="What exactly is the problem with the Television?" Tags="|age-appropriate|television|screen-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11493" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-15T16:31:34.330" Score="3" ViewCount="702" Body="&lt;p&gt;In what order do children learn moves? What comes first - rolling from back to side, or from belly to side? When does the baby learn to sit, when to crawl, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am most interested in the order, but information about when particular moves are learned would be nice too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-02-17T13:24:07.630" Title="Typical order of learning movements for a baby" Tags="|infant|learning|moving|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11493" CreationDate="2014-02-15T19:52:21.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you will find the month by month outline on &lt;a href=&quot;http://americanpregnancy.org/firstyearoflife/firstyeardevelopment.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Pregnancy&lt;/a&gt; Helpful because it goes over the major developments you can expect in a very clear and precise way for the first year.  The list includes motor skills as well as others (such as social) but since the most noticeable and &quot;measured&quot; developments that occur during the first year are generally motor developments, of course these are included clearly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically in regard to rolling over, it lists back to side as beginning to happen around month four, then stomach to back in month five and back to stomach at month six.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you'll be aware that these are averages and all babies do exhibit differences from one to the next.  As an example, I currently take care of an infant (eleven months) and his older brother (of three years).  The infant can crawl but mostly chooses to &quot;worm&quot; his way around preferring an army crawl to one on his hands and knees.  His brother was already walking at the same age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For an even fuller description of motor development babies, the history of the study of motor development in babies, and some thought about the mental development accompanying the motor developments (and/or) why things happen in the order in which they do, you could also read &lt;a href=&quot;http://gnowledge.org/~sanjay/Advanced_Cogsci_Course/Week8/Extra/Thelen/thelan.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; (I have yet to read the whole thing myself though) which is extremely detailed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-02-15T19:52:21.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11482" CreationDate="2014-02-15T20:58:59.707" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I don't think fidgeting is a symptom of anything other than being 3. It seems to me like it's her version of self soothing. I agree that it's wicked annoying especially when she's in bed with you, but it is most likely a good thing, because you would have to teach her to do it if she wasn't already doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I think that @Joe may be onto something. Try adjusting her bedtime a little later or, earlier. My boy has a harder time drifting off once he's gone into overdrive from being too tired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, have you tried a bath before bed? (Or a shower if you don't have a tub.) Taking a bath about an hour before bed will cause your child's body temp to rise and then drop quickly which triggers the brain to go into sleep mode.  I swear by the bath. My kids go directly from the bath to bed, and are asleep within an hour, usually less.  A bath can also be a great way to deliver aromatherapy, which I also highly recommend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth, do not let her sleep with you when she comes in (unless you want her to, which I don't think you do since you are asking for help with it here). Bring her back to bed. Keep doing it.  Here's the good news about this though: if you can get her to learn to fall asleep with out you being in the room, this will go away on its own. She is coming in at 2 because she can't fall asleep without you being there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;@balanced mama's question about TV brings me to my fifth suggestion, which is to not allow TV/iPad/computer/video games within 2 hours of bed time. In our house, we try to enforce none after dinner. (We got rid of cable to make TV less enticing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sixth, schedule some physical activity right after lunch or early afternoon at the latest. I think swimming works best at wringing every last drop of energy out of kids, but just do what fits in your lifestyle/routine. Obviously, the more tired they are, the easier they fall asleep.  Avoid activity late in the day though, since it will most likely wind her up even more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, although I said I don't think the fidgeting is something to worry about, it &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be restlessness. If so, a little massage can do wonders to help her little muscles relax. There are videos online you can watch to learn how, or you can just ask your daughter what she would like. One of my kids loves to have his calves rubbed. He would be asleep in minutes after I figured out what he liked/needed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can get my three yr old and two yr old down simultaneously in about an hour, including a 20 min bath, teethbrushing, and two books. (Most nights- there are evenings here and there that go awry and we've got kids running around still at 10 pm. We aren't perfect!)  It took me about 6 months to get it down to a science though.  You are right that it's taking too long, and too much effort, but don't give up! You can get your evening back with a few little routine changes. You really are almost there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-15T20:58:59.707" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11482" CreationDate="2014-02-15T23:06:25.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found that making our children's bedtime in their room mandatory, the most effective solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not wanting to go to sleep is pretty normal for a 3 year old. While abiding by rigid schedules could certainly help with this problem, it most definitely is not needed. My wife and children have rarely done anything on a schedule. After my children's night routine, I put my kids to sleep, and don't let them out of their room. If they are having a problem, I come to them, comfort them in their room, and then put them back to bed. This has not always been easy to do, but because this has been done consistently, our children know they will be staying in their room until they fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the problem with waking up early, my wife and I are still working on that. One of my kids gets up at 5 a.m. while the other one wants to get up at noon. Sleep depravation is becoming a way of life for us ;) . So long as they sleep for six hours, we let them stay up. But we don't allow them to come into our bedroom (at least while I am around). That is mom and dad's special place for privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think fidgeting has anything to do with this sleep problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6747" LastActivityDate="2014-02-15T23:06:25.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11471" CreationDate="2014-02-16T07:14:34.150" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I asked my 95+ year old grandmother your question.  (She raised 9 kids and the bread and jam typically was something she'd made herself.)  Her initial response?  &quot;A child's teeth always seemed to work best, though nowadays I suppose you'd wait for a giant company to come out with some ridiculous new product of ready-made bite-sized things and tout them as &lt;em&gt;safer&lt;/em&gt; or 'what &lt;em&gt;smart&lt;/em&gt; moms or &lt;em&gt;busy&lt;/em&gt; moms give their kids'&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When pressed, however, she did admit that there were times when she cut open-faced slices of jam bread into quarters, and she recalls times using both a non-serrated knife and swift strokes or the pizza slicer method, also with swift strokes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6826" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-02-17T10:58:54.657" LastActivityDate="2014-02-17T10:58:54.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11499" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-16T11:41:00.083" Score="-1" ViewCount="149" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old daughter takes 3 melatonin just to be able to sleep,&#xA;goes to bed at 830, reads till ten,wakes at 6. what to do? she seems well rested,&#xA;but is getting two hours less than regulation, at 8 instead of 10.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6827" LastActivityDate="2014-02-17T14:17:19.440" Title="8 year old sleep" Tags="|sleep|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2018-04-15T17:30:24.933" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11448" CreationDate="2014-02-16T13:39:10.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy mirror.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mount mirror on wall near shower.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After next shower, point to mirror. Point to hair. Point to bubbles in said hair.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this doesn't work, schedule an appointment with an optician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-02-16T13:39:10.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11499" CreationDate="2014-02-16T14:35:06.420" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regulations are based on averages. And all children are different. Some are, in some aspects, significantly different than the average.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know your daughter well, she's probably been sleeping like that for some time now. Does she seem tired? Does she seem sleepy during the day? If not, there's probably nothing to worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of trying to enfrce the early hour, try to tire her a bit more in the evening. Send her to some sport activities - dancing, karate, etc. There's lots of choices. She should go to sleep more easily then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, I'm fairly sure that I've slept less than 10 hours when I was a primary-schooler. 10PM to 6:30AM is 8,5h.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-17T09:13:14.270" LastActivityDate="2014-02-17T09:13:14.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9186" CreationDate="2014-02-16T15:32:00.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;At the request of the OP I have added this as an answer and deleted the comment.&lt;/em&gt;  I would like offer an alternative to the maxi pad suggestion: try wool long underwear. I have a heavy wetter (not toilet trained yet, but still...) and I had the same laundry issue as you. And it isn't easy changing crib sheets either, so I feel your pain. Anyway, you can find wool &quot;longies&quot; online and they are the ONLY thing that has worked. You lanolize the wool and it acts as a water &lt;em&gt;resistant&lt;/em&gt; barrier. (The wool will initially repel the water, but once the inside layer is saturated, the wool starts to absorb-up to 40% of its weight.) Plus, they just look like pants, and may give his self esteem a boost. I think a wool mattress pad may be a good idea too, and will further protect the sheets/bedding. It should go on top of the fitted sheet. Trust me, I was skeptical about the wool, but it has been a life saver! I used to face wet stinky diapers, covers, pajamas, sheets, blankets and mattress pads daily, and I've swapped all that for a dry baby and washing/lanolizing the wool every two weeks, and changing sheets once a week like normal people do. Try wool! IMHO, for every situation where a synthetic fabric fails, there is a natural fiber solution. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-16T15:32:00.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11482" CreationDate="2014-02-16T20:52:08.197" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main thing I would add is &lt;strong&gt;lavender oil&lt;/strong&gt; - on the pillow in the bed. I promise you it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also try to start your routine an hour earlier too and a give her a hot bath if you can. I also play some soft background music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6829" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-18T08:50:48.157" LastActivityDate="2014-02-18T08:50:48.157" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2014-02-16T21:07:56.263" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This made me laugh as my daughter has ALWAYS been like this... I think you have had enough &quot;in depth &quot; answers on this so I shall just tell you what I found works for me... If I'm saying a 100% no...... For example she asked to cross a busy rd alone.. I will answer with &quot;no way Lauren &quot; putting emphasis on the way part seemed to help and she just accepts it!? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6829" LastActivityDate="2014-02-16T21:07:56.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11499" CreationDate="2014-02-17T04:00:25.290" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What does her doctor say? My 9 year old only gets 8 hours too- and not because he doesn't have the opportunity for more. He's always been a good sleeper. He never gives me any trouble about bedtime (8 pm) he just doesn't fall asleep until 9:30. He gets up at 7 am, on his own, and does well in school. My pediatrician says that as long as children have the opportunity to get enough rest (which is his way of saying that I need to make sure he gets to bed at an appropriate time) they will &quot;take what they need.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are really concerned about it, I would try more exercise during the day (early, not within 4 hours of bedtime) and perhaps a careful examination of her diet. Caffeine and sugar lurk in the strangest places, and sugar especially has many names and forms. It certainly won't do her any harm to cut out or reduce either one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, have you tried any sleep hygiene methods? Such as, limiting TV/screen time before bed, keeping the lights dim around bedtime, eliminating distractions in her room (such as the books she reads), or a bath? She might benefit from some progressive muscle relaxation too- it's a great way for the mind and body to work together to wind down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-02-17T04:07:09.490" LastActivityDate="2014-02-17T04:07:09.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11492" CreationDate="2014-02-17T04:32:47.830" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is my revised answer to your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without conducting a study of my own or writing a post-graduate level research paper on the topic, it is hard to answer the questions you have asked.  As a parent who got fed up with her children's heroin-like addiction to the zombifying effects of television and promptly cancelled our cable TV subscription, I am very interested in the &quot;scientific&quot; proof that television, computer/video games, and other screen related activities are indeed as harmful as my instincts tell me they are.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've scoured the web, and developed a hunch that the harm lies in the suppression of the DMN (Default Mode Network), or, the &quot;resting state&quot; of the brain.  This is where your mind &quot;goes&quot; when it wanders. &lt;a href=&quot;http://tinyurl.com/pc8ug4d&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;A link here&lt;/a&gt;. It's an article about the default mode network with references worth exploring. I haven't found a direct link between watching tv and the DMN &lt;em&gt;in children&lt;/em&gt; but there is a recent study done on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/12/19/1214804110.full.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;adults&lt;/a&gt; that illustrates how blinking momentarily activates the DMN, and that people adjust the rate of blinking based on content (they don't want to miss anything).  Interestingly, even young children are capable of this too, as evidenced in a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/12/19/1214804110.full.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; that examined the differences in blink patterns of autistic and &quot;normal&quot; toddlers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be clear, the brain is not doing nothing while in default mode...it is engaged in internalizing experiences into memories, social cognition, and making plans for the future. Some of our most creative, profound thoughts occur during default mode thinking.  Most importantly, the DMN is thought to be responsible for making us the social creatures that we are- which, if suppressed too often, could contribute to a lack of feeling &quot;connected,&quot; at the least, with the world, which may be why studies show that the more TV people watch, the sadder they are prone to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for computer screens (where one might be surfing the web, reading articles, etc...) - Dr. Larry Rosen's article &quot;How Much Technology Should You Let Your Child Use&quot; in the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-larry-rosen/how-much-technology-shoul_b_3142227.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Huffington Post&lt;/a&gt; points to studies that show that the mind is overstimulated by constantly switching between multiple screens/tasks.  It could be argued that computer and video games would have the same effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that this at the very least provides a few good rabbit holes to fall into on your quest to determine the &lt;em&gt;exact&lt;/em&gt; detriment that TV/Screens time has on children, and, humanity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-19T05:47:12.800" LastActivityDate="2014-02-19T05:47:12.800" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11511" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11513" CreationDate="2014-02-17T07:42:52.650" Score="11" ViewCount="2512" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age could your kids reliably tell you about what went on in your absence? And how did you know it's reliable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have an almost three year old, and although he is quite talkative, it's still difficult to find out what he did when we weren't around. We prompt him with questions, but partly he might answer yes if he likes the answer (&quot;Did you go on the swing?&quot;), and partly he doesn't understand the concept of today (he'll tell me he had eggs for lunch, but that was last week). I'm curious at what point we'll be able to ask him what went on in daycare, and know that he's telling us accurate and recent stuff. I know that each child is different, but I'm curious about children in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-02-17T17:24:14.850" Title="When will my boy be able to tell me about his day?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11493" CreationDate="2014-02-17T09:31:29.027" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on balanced mama's link, here are the estimated times of learning movements:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;turn head left and right when lying on the back - 1st month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lift head when lying on stomach - 2nd month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;holding objects - 3rd month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pull blankets - 3rd month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;clutch own hands - 3rd month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;roll from back to side - 4th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;reach for things - 4th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;roll from stomach to back - 5th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;put feet to mouth on its back - 5th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;plays with toes - 5th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;roll from back to stomach - 6th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;turn head both left-right and top-down - 6th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sit without support - 7th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sit without support &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; falling - 8th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pull to standing position - 9th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;begin crawling - 9th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;go from stomach to sitting position - 10th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;wave &quot;bye&quot; - 10th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;walk holding to furniture or with parents help - 11th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;walk alone or with one hand held - 12th month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-17T13:24:07.630" LastActivityDate="2014-02-17T13:24:07.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11511" CreationDate="2014-02-17T15:38:17.480" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you point out, this is different for different kids, but the fact that you are asking regularly improves the chances that the result you are wishing for will be sooner rather than later, because you are helping to set him up with the expectation that you will ask.  Developmentally, most kids can do this by the time they are five and it happens sometime during the third or fourth year (usually about the same time when they develop theory of mind).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Theory of mind is the ability to understand that your experience is different from the child's experience (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aspergers-diary/200805/empathy-mindblindness-and-theory-mind&quot;&gt;Psychology today describes it quite nicely along with a wonderful cartoon showing a typical test for theory of mind&lt;/a&gt;).  Right now, your son thinks you already know everything he knows.  So, in his mind, even though you weren't there, you already know what happened during his day.  For that reason alone the question is confusing.  It seems perfectly obvious to him what he did in a given day so why isn't it to you?  To better understand this, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hLubgpY2_w&quot;&gt;check out the &quot;false belief test video&quot; here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;abstraction&quot; your child is currently developing in regard to understanding time, is referred to as &quot;Symbolic function&quot; and is a part of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piaget%27s_theory_of_cognitive_development&quot;&gt;Piaget's theory&lt;/a&gt; regarding cognitive development.  Symbolic Function and Theory of Mind are very closely intermingled, but there is a very slight difference in that Theory of Mind is specifically about what the child knows compared to others.  The idea of Theory of Mind is more recent than Piaget's work, but, as I understand it (though I am not an expert here) it could be considered a &lt;strong&gt;part&lt;/strong&gt; of symbolic function.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bhcmhmr.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&amp;amp;id=12758&amp;amp;cn=462&quot;&gt;The Betty Hardwick Center describes symbolic function quite nicely here&lt;/a&gt;.  Basically, it is the ability to understand that when a cat leaves the room, it is still a cat in existence, just in another room (Schrodinger's Cat excluded). For children without at least the beginnings of symbolic function &lt;strong&gt;remembering&lt;/strong&gt; what did happen today and sorting it from other memories is very difficult).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is most likely, not yet in the &quot;pre-operational stage&quot; of cognitive development.  What this means is that he does not yet understand that if he can't see it, it is still there or that things happen to others when he isn't there.  However, obviously there are stages involved in getting there.  Piaget (a forerunner in studying and understanding cognitive development) argued that developments toward symbolic function (The &quot;pre-operational stage) happen during the preschool years.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M244b2aDcz8&quot;&gt;This video&lt;/a&gt; clarifies this really well and show examples of early play that demonstrate the beginnings of development toward symbolic function - for example, imaginative play.  The video does a nice job of showing a lack of understanding to have entered the pre-operational stage by showing a child playing &quot;hide and seek&quot; by simply covering its eyes.  During the beginnings of the &quot;pre-operational stage&quot; a child might hide as well - but always in the same place.  If you watch the whole thing it will show more &quot;false belief&quot; tests like those in the other video above but for for determining if your child has completed this stage of development and gained &quot;symbolic function&quot; or not.  Most kids cannot &quot;pass&quot; all of these tests until sometime between five and seven.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few things that might help improve your chances of a more reliable answer even now though.  Asking, &quot;what did you do today?&quot; is a pretty abstract question. You might try asking him the question and then following it with more specific and &quot;leading&quot; kinds of questions that will help focus his answers a little better.  Of course, knowing a little about the day first from observations you make at pick up time and from speaking with the teacher a little will also help you here:  For example,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I saw you guys made butterfly paintings for your art project today. &#xA;  Did you also read about them during story time?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Yes&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Oh!  What do you remember about butterflies?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also helps to know what his regular favorite activities are (perhaps he usually climbs or plays in the sandbox):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I know you had some outside play today.  Did you play in the sandbox,&#xA;  climb on the jungle gym or do something else?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Something else&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Oh!  Really?  cool what was it?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I made a road with Dylan.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Oh with the tractors in the sandbox?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Yeah&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Okay, glad you had fun.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;btw: in this example, you see the beginnings of the pre-operational stage because he is using the tractors and sand to symbolically make a road.  At the same time, he isn't generalizing this as sand-box play with you and understanding that he is just being more specific.  This kind of thing is typical in this age group and to this stage of development - try not to worry about correcting and explaining.  Instead, accept and know he'll get there eventually.  &lt;strong&gt;The really important thing is just that you keep asking.&lt;/strong&gt;  Since you are asking, his brain is working to figure out how to answer satisfactorily as you ask every day.  Eventually he will get it - especially if you can help to guide him to answers that are satisfactory without frustration and stress being part of the equation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a &quot;bonus,&quot; something I started doing with my daughter at dinner at around this age was something a friend introduced to me as &quot;highlights, lowlights&quot;  She asked her kids about the best parts and worst parts of their day every day at bedtime.  I don't think focusing on the worst part is really a productive thing to do at this age (though I would recommend it for Middle School) so I only asked for the highlights (and I asked at dinner instead of bed but that part isn't really important).  Choosing a &quot;favorite&quot; is also abstract, but identifying your favorite to your son and then asking him his, is a good exercise in communication and connection between you later on and a good habit to get into now.  He is likely to pick your favorite as his favorite at first, but eventually when you ask &quot;What was your favorite part of your day today?&quot;  you'll start getting real answers and once in awhile, he might even say, &quot;Right now with you.&quot; and that is &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; a nice thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-17T17:24:14.850" LastActivityDate="2014-02-17T17:24:14.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11515" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11520" CreationDate="2014-02-17T19:35:54.213" Score="10" ViewCount="103330" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 &amp;frac12; year old daughter has come down with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001955/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;croup&lt;/a&gt;. She has been prescribed &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMHT0001486/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;prednisolone&lt;/a&gt; which from previous experience is a bitter tasting and therefore difficult medicine to get children to take. Typically our twins take medicine easily but this is not the case with prednisolone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I discussed this with the pharmacist who indicated the medicine could be &quot;hidden&quot; in juice etc. Unfortunately, the flavor of the prednisolone is overpowering the taste of the apple juice I mixed it with. She is slowly getting through it, but I hope someone might have a better idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I ensure my daughter takes her medication? Is there something I can hide it in that might cover its bitter flavor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1483" LastEditorUserId="1483" LastEditDate="2016-04-04T17:58:40.657" LastActivityDate="2018-03-27T02:16:13.737" Title="How to get a 2-year old to take prednisolone" Tags="|toddler|medicine|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11516" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-17T20:25:55.800" Score="11" ViewCount="2096" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, currently three-and-a-half, has taken to making constant references to his &quot;brother,&quot; who is apparently a wealthy businessman and property owner (he apparently owns several stores that sell whatever my son might imagine we need, such as a &quot;remote control space station that flies up and down&quot;).  He also sometimes talks about his &quot;other grandmother&quot; (not my mother nor my wife's mother, both of whom my son sees on a regular basis).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we're not really concerned about &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2432/should-imaginary-friends-be-accepted-or-discouraged&quot;&gt;discouraging this imaginative play&lt;/a&gt;, I do find myself wondering &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; imaginary friends like this are created.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What developmental purpose does this serve?  Are there expert papers or research on this that explain what role imaginary friends fill?  My son doesn't seem to be creating them to fill a hole in his social life; he has several friends he sees during the week at daycare, and several others he sees outside of daycare, and is very extroverted in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T15:49:25.867" Title="What role do imaginary friends play in a child's development?" Tags="|behavior|social-development|cognitive-development|imaginative-play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4070" CreationDate="2014-02-17T20:28:57.837" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course, your ideal solution would be for your wife to see the error of her ways and agree with you that homoeopathy is just expensive water. But then again, your wife would prefer for &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; to come around to &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; point of view. Neither is very likely to happen, from what I gather from your story. I assume you've reasoned this six ways from Sunday with her already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the next best solution would be a reasonable compromise. What I offer as an example of that, would be to treat homoeopathic remedies as medicine, be it very weak medicine. Sort of a low impact, low yield medicine. On par with an aspirin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This solves the two problems you stated in your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This leaves your wife free to use a homoeopathic remedy for the less serious ailments, while justifying breaking out the 'big guns' if anything serious happens.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This treats both as medicine, not as sweets that can be taken at will. While this elevates homoeopathic remedies to the level of medicine &amp;ndash; something you don't agree with &amp;ndash; at least it doesn't bring medicine down to something that can be taken freely without any consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-02-25T07:38:11.380" LastActivityDate="2014-02-25T07:38:11.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11515" CreationDate="2014-02-17T21:40:16.753" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can suggest this course of steps to you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give your daughter something sweet just before taking a medicine - Something like chocolate would be an example option.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that if she takes the medicine fast, the medicine will be in her mouth for a shorter time and will not be so terrible.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Immediately, after swallowing the medicine follow it with with juice to remove the taste.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;finally you give an extra portion of sweet candy you started with or something similar (Marshmallow)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there are fewer taste receptors on the back of the tongue, so if you can use a syringe to administer the medications on the inner half of the tongue there will be less of any taste experience for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6830" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-18T06:37:31.913" LastActivityDate="2014-02-18T06:37:31.913" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11492" CreationDate="2014-02-18T02:53:33.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is looking at a computer monitor the same as viewing the TV?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depends on what is on the computer monitor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What about Participating in games on the computer or on a gaming system?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is more active than the passive act of watching TV, so marginally better for the gray matter--though note that plenty of games are 'barely' active. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How about watching an older sibling participate in these activities (supposing the content being viewed is age appropriate. . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're back to passive entertainment again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Does the detriment still apply when they are teens? Adulthood?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The difference is in brain development. A still developing brain can benefit a whole lot from active engagement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, it's not that passive content on  screens are BAD for you, but rather that take time away from many more things that are GOOD for the brain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some thoughts from the Mayo Clinic:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/baby-einstein/expert-answers/faq-20058099&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mayoclinic.org/baby-einstein/expert-answers/faq-20058099&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2014-02-18T02:53:33.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11515" CreationDate="2014-02-18T04:49:17.093" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son has to take prednisolone I sandwich the dose between teaspoons of honey and graham crackers. It is supposed to be taken with food anyway, and I find that the honey + cracker makes a coating on his tongue so that he can't taste the medicine as much. You know what they say...&quot;a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honey is also good for cough suppression, by the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-18T04:49:17.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11492" CreationDate="2014-02-18T07:38:43.687" Score="8" Body="&lt;h2&gt;TV overuse kills imagination&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Television provides an almost complete experience for us and our children. It provides images and sounds, which are probably the source of 90% of stimulai. When we watch tv we are fully immersed in it, but we are only the receivers. We do not add anything of our own to the experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child watches TV, it is actually not necessary for him to think. There is no place left for imagination. No space to invent something, to make things up, to plot a story, to actually play. TV is what it is - it's an easy time consumer. And it's not specifically easy for our children, since they engage in tv-less activities as happily, but for us. It's easy to let our children watch tv and be rid of them for some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the main problem with television? That it is overused. A little of everything is hardly ever bad. But a child spending 3-5-7 ? hours a day watching TV - that's pathology. A 20 minute evening cartoon won't kill an imagination of a boy who plays for hours with his toys, who builds castles or a girl who becomes a princess of her dolls' kingdom. Not doing those things and letting 90% of &quot;activity&quot; be watching TV - will most likely kill imagination and destroy creativity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Should we let our children watch TV?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that children below, say, 3 years old, should not be allowed to watch TV for extended periods of time, perhaps even not at all. As far as I know, children are capable of playing on their own for some time, even my 3 month old daughter can sometimes spend 30 minutes playing with her toys on an educational mat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After we decide we want to let our children watch TV, we still shouldn't them watch TV(!). We should turn the TV only for movies and cartoons of our own choice and turn it off after they're finished. There's plenty of titles available on DVD/BR or even on the Internet. We can and &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; choose what our children watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, perhaps most importantly, to make watching TV an important and beneficial experience, we should talk to our children after the show or movie and see what they have understood and learned of it. I think that one can have a really &quot;decent&quot; converstation with one's kid after watching Lion King or Cinderella or any proper fable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Are Computer games any better than TV?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also like to mention computer games as an alternative to TV. I think that it's similar and may have similar effects. Out of those two, however, I'd choose computer games any time. While they also provide a complete experience and leave little place for imagination, they always require interaction and sometimes even require creativity and thought. They is research that shows that computer games boost some skills, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bcs.rochester.edu/courses/crsinf/208/ARCHIVES/S11/ModelProjectReport.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;improve reaction times&lt;/a&gt;, support planning-ahead or even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ijbnpa.org/content/5/1/8/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;introduce more physical activity&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case of computer games it is as important for us, parents, to choose the games our children play as it is important for us to choose what they watch. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I am no expert on the matter. I have shared my thoughts since as @RobertCartaino wrote I apparently can't do that in comments.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-19T04:54:15.887" LastActivityDate="2014-02-19T04:54:15.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11453" CreationDate="2014-02-18T14:58:44.090" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of the behavior you describe sounds like normal 5-year-old boy behavior.  It is similar to the behavior I was concerned about with my son until I discovered that pretty much every mom I knew with a 5-year-old boy had the exact same issues.  Things like having to repeat/remind your child practically everyday to do/not do something.  It can be maddening!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you've hit the nail on the head.  He's had A LOT of changes in his life in the past year (moving, loss of a pet, etc.).  These things can be stressful for an adult and young children have a very difficult time expressing those fears and concerns simply because they lack the vocabulary.  I think you've gotten on the right track by finding him a professional counselor and getting him (and you) help.  In the meantime, if he brings up the cat who ran away then give him the opportunity to talk about how he feels about the cat running away.  Maybe he feels like he did something to cause the cat to run away, when, in reality, sometimes cats just run away.  Or get a little confused when the family moves.  Most importantly, he needs to feel like its safe to talk to you about those kinds of things, and he needs you to help him develop the words he needs to express his sadness and fear and concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to your boyfriend, if he doesn't like your boyfriend it's going to be hard for him to respect or trust him.  Especially if your boyfriend is stepping in and laying down rules.  For now, it might be better if all rules and consequences/rewards come from you and keep the boyfriend out of it.  Instead, your son needs to have the opportunity to learn to trust your boyfriend so giving them the chance to bond would put some positive karma into the bucket.  As the trust and relationship grows, then your boyfriend might be able to take on more of a parenting role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to starting school next year, perhaps you should consider holding him back a year and starting him as a 6-year-old.  It will give you and his counselor an extra year to work with him on whatever issues need to be worked on, and I can tell you from experience that there is a big leap in maturity between 5 and 6.  People, I think, tend to underestimate the maturity factor in stuff like this.  You can certainly discuss this more with his teacher and his counselor.  The transition from pre-k to kindergarten was MUCH harder on my son than I expected it to be, and if I had to do it all over again I probably would have held him back an extra year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, when it comes to hyperactivity...we have had a lot of success getting our son involved in martial arts.  It helps to reinforce respect (for oneself and others) and self-control as well as being a physical activity that works out some energy.  It also has helped our son with goal-setting (he's always working toward his next belt.  And anytime he doesn't want to work or whines about leaving his toys and going to class, I can remind him he wants to be a black belt--and it's my job as his mom to help him achieve his goals in whatever way I can).  We've also zeroed in on other activities that our son enjoys recently (rock climbing anyone?) and we're trying to encourage that.  Boys (well, kids in general) need something that they feel like they're good at.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, I have been very fortunate to meet a lot of other moms of boys around my son's age through his martial arts class and they have been a wonderful network to have.  Sometimes when you're going through something like this, you feel like you're the only mom in the world having these same struggles and I promise you, you're not.  Whatever you decide to do, find a supportive group of other moms.  YOU need support, too.  It doesn't have to be the women at a class your son takes, it can just be a group of moms in a Saturday play group you attend.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-02-18T14:58:44.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4633" CreationDate="2014-02-19T00:48:01.950" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had my daughter suck on a tum for a few seconds and it seemed to help. I just tossed the tums in the trash. Only had her suck on it until she seemed to calm down. I wouldn't give her or him a whole gum but I don't see the problem haing them suck on it for a little bit just to get some help with the reflux. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6848" LastActivityDate="2014-02-19T00:48:01.950" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11447" CreationDate="2014-02-19T02:42:55.090" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is a fascinating question because I know I do it and my 6-year-old does it as well.  I think we all do this to some extent.  But, you're right, the difference is that, as an adult, you can identify the problem and deal with it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The guidance counselor at my son's school recently did a talk on this topic geared more for older elementary students, but I did get some very useful information from it for my son who is only in kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it is VERY normal for kids at this age to have this exact problem.  Especially with the whole, &quot;Oh, I need a drink of water&quot; &quot;I can't find my pencil&quot; &quot;Now this pencil needs to be sharpened&quot; etc. issue.  They also have a problem of becoming distracted in the middle of a task or an assignment.  Here are some solutions she recommends which may or may not help when it comes to school work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting down to business.  Since I know you homeschool, you probably this, but she keeps one of those rolling plastic 3-drawer deals wherever her kids do homework (near the kitchen table, dining room table, whatever) loaded down with every school supply her kids could need.  Colored pencils, extra glue sticks, scissors, extra paper, etc.  If one of her kids needs something, there's no need for them to go tracking down their backpack or wandering around the house looking for something because it's all right there.  Granted, you and I both know how much stuff a kid can get in to in the span of a walk across the kitchen, but it at least keeps them contained and limits their interaction with other stuff in the house (toys, TV, video games, etc.).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it's time to work, it's time to work.  No parent likes to do this, but sometimes you have to step back to a level of supervision you haven't had to do in awhile.  It's hard because it's a step backwards, but sometimes kids (and parents) become too comfortable and relax a bit much.  Kids need to be reminded.  So, you might have to become her checklist for awhile.  Before it's time to sit down to work, just ask, &quot;Do you need to potty?  Do you have water?  Do you have all your materials?  Because once we start, we are not stopping for anything until we're finished.&quot;  It stinks, but I find that my son HATES it when I have to supervise him doing something that I haven't had to supervises in awhile.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Distraction during work--especially work she doesn't really care for:  Your mind is going to wander.  It's normal--especially when you're doing work that you don't really like.  Our guidance counselor stresses that it's ok.  The key is learning to recognize when you're mind is wandering and pull it back into focus.  It's ok to wander for 10 or 15 seconds periodically, but some kids need a little reminder to refocus.  She will place little red round stickers on desks (or some teachers have other things) which she calls &quot;reminder dots&quot;.  Basically, the job of the dot is to remind the child that when their mind wanders they need to bring their focus back to the task at hand.  She also stresses that kids DO need breaks much more frequently than we tend to give them.  She suggested that if your child has three worksheets to do then they really need a 5 minute break in between each worksheet.  Set a timer and stick to it so kids don't try to sneak off and do something else.  Also if your daughter says, &quot;Mom, I need to potty&quot; in the middle of her work, you can say, &quot;Finish up that sheet and you can have your 5 minute break like usual.&quot;  When I say it like that it almost sounds prison-like, but I don't mean it to sound like you should make her sit there in agony to finish a worksheet when she REALLY needs to go to the bathroom.  But I am saying that she's capable of holding a little tinkle for five minutes while she finishes up something she's working on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finally, I have found that, for me, the times I procrastinate the most are when I'm facing a project or a task that seems so big to me or complicated that I almost don't know where to start--even if I'm excited about the project.  This might be a problem for your daughter for &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; tasks.  I wish that someone had recognized this in me when I was younger (because I certainly couldn't have articulated it to you then) and taught me how to work through it.  How to make a plan to tackle the job step-by-step and follow through on it.  Usually what happened though is if I had a project to do my mom did all the planning and I was just a long for the ride.  Thus, I had zero insight into how the planning process worked.  It would have made my life SOOOOO much easier sooooo much earlier if I had!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-02-19T02:42:55.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4633" CreationDate="2014-02-19T12:53:29.667" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps a slippery elm lozenge could be crushed and mixed with a little water to make a paste.  My husband takes slippery elm before bed for mild heartburn. Remaining upright will help as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Slippery elm is traditionally prepared as a slimy, gross liquid- if you can find it that way, great. I can only find it in a lozenge at my health food store.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-19T12:53:29.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11516" CreationDate="2014-02-19T16:31:32.727" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;In psychology we were taught that imaginary friends are very common from ages 3 through 7, and they occur in ~65% cases (both for boys and girls), so that is nothing extraordinary that one should worry about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we were also taught it is important for the child to distinguish between the reality and their imaginary friends. It is healthy if those friends go away approx. at age 7, if they persist for longer then it could be either a malfunctioning defense mechanism, which would imply that the child cannot cope with their surroundings and stress, or either those are hallucinations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, by analyzing what your child tells about the imaginary friend, it is possible to understand what's going on in your relationship with him/her. As far as I remember those friends can be classified in &lt;em&gt;4 categories&lt;/em&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a friend that does everything he's not supposed to do, everything that's forbidden, it symbolizes the unaccepted side of child's personality. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a friend who's weak and needs to be cared for - this one's actually the worst possible, because the child is compensating his feelings of worthlessness. Basically he feels unwanted, unloved and has made an imaginary friend that would fill this empty hole in his heart. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the extra-caring one, that tends to the every need of your child, this means you are being overprotective and your child has no space for development, no sense of competence, basically you need to step back a little. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the self-confident, competent and independent friend - it symbolizes the perfection of child's ego.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6854" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2014-02-22T04:47:26.023" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T04:47:26.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11447" CreationDate="2014-02-20T03:52:14.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is an iPad app called KidToDo (kidtodo.com) that might help. It is a photo  based todo list for kids. You can take photos to create visual lists of the routine things that she needs to do to get ready for school or sports or bed. Each time she needs to execute on any of those she can refer to the app. The kid receives a well done message and a sticker once complete. My kids too are absentminded professors and we found that this worked like a charm.  It has helped them get organized without the app too. My son loves creating his own todos when he needs to tidy his room. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6655" LastActivityDate="2014-02-20T03:52:14.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="165" CreationDate="2014-02-20T07:25:14.500" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While you have sign language, have you tried &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simultaneous_communication&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sign supported speech&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest son is hard of hearing. For his first couple of years of school, he went to a special school for children with severe speech and language difficulties. He was one of the few children there with a 'technical' hearing problem; most had problems somewhere on the autistic spectrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An important part of the teaching method there, was the use of a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manually_coded_language&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;manually coded language&lt;/a&gt;, underlining the speech with signs. This is known as &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simultaneous_communication&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;simultaneous communication&lt;/a&gt;, or sign supported speech.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This approach has two benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instead of one, you're now offering &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; modes of communication &lt;em&gt;simultaneously&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having to sign while talking, slows your speech down, which in itself can help a great deal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Manually coded languages should not be confused with actual sign languages like &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Sign_Language&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ASL&lt;/a&gt;, which use no speech and have a completely different syntax.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-02-20T08:05:58.297" LastActivityDate="2014-02-20T08:05:58.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11426" CreationDate="2014-02-20T13:04:02.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The literature on grammar acquisition distinguishes the following three stages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One-word stage (e.g., &quot;mama&quot;, &quot;papa&quot; &quot;water&quot;, &quot;poop&quot;...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Two-word stage (e.g., &quot;want cookie&quot;, &quot;flower blue&quot;,...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For everyday purposes, adult-like grammatical competence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, the big jump is transitioning from the one-word stage to the two-word stage. One your kid reaches the two-word stage, the move to full sentences might take some time to start, but once it starts, it will happen surprisingly quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6861" LastActivityDate="2014-02-20T13:04:02.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4165" CreationDate="2014-02-21T15:06:25.633" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Animal jam is a safe place for children. My daughter  has a lovley experience from it. Also you unfortantly have to pay for memberships now but half of the money you pay goes to national geographic to save big cats. On animal jam you have something called the journal where there are things to look for and when you find it it tells you what it is and what it does so it is very educational   hope this helps&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6867" LastActivityDate="2014-02-21T15:06:25.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11535" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-21T19:50:29.803" Score="3" ViewCount="311" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has been going to a small, in-home daycare since he was less than a year old.  He enjoys it, but currently there are only 3 boys that are about the same age as him (ranging from about 6 months younger to about 1 year older), and none of three attend 5 days a week consistently (they seem to average about 3 days a week).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other children are all younger (from about 8 months to 14 months of age) and not yet verbal, so my son (age 3-and-a-half) has little-to-no interest in them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son gets along well with others, and has some friends outside of daycare.  He is not at &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; shy, and loves to strike up conversations with anyone we meet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of months ago, we put him on a waiting list for a more formal pre-school-through-kindergarten program.  We're expecting a spot to become available late this year or possibly early next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than wait until the last minute, I'm looking for tactics and strategies for making the transition as positive for him as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I get him excited about it?  How can I keep him from getting upset about leaving his familiar setting?  How can I best prepare him for going from having 2-5 other kids with him each day to having 10 or more classmates?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T02:11:15.507" Title="How should I prepare my son for preschool?" Tags="|pre-schooler|school|daycare|transition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11535" CreationDate="2014-02-21T20:18:26.737" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest difference I see between 'formal' daycare with large classes of similar age kids and informal at-home daycare is being able to behave well in large groups with relatively little attention paid per child.  I'm going to see this first hand to some extent; my first child is getting close to 3, and is leaving daycare to stay at home with mom (but likely will go to preschool next year).  My second is almost a year, and so won't really have had any of this preparation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to prepare for that, from what I've seen, is to go to storytimes and other 'large group' activities (gymnastics, for example).  That will get the child used to being in large groups with one or a small number of adults 'in charge' while still allowing you to help teach him the control and self discipline necessary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also note, from what I've seen in other children, behaving in groups is something that's not too hard for them to pick up, even when thrown to the wolves; humans have a bit of herd mentality in them after all.  When mommy and daddy are gone, my son behaves incredibly well in a group setting - while he acts out considerably when we're there.  So don't be too worried if it seems like he's not handling things well when you're around - it's when you leave that you need to be more concerned with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-21T20:18:26.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11535" CreationDate="2014-02-22T01:21:29.753" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The transition will probably be harder for you than it will be for him.  Joe's answer above was spot-on in getting him comfortable with being able to behave with limited supervision would be a good starting point.  Enrolling him in a sport (gymnastics is pretty good depending on how full his class is, tee ball, soccer) that requires short periods of waiting also helps him build his patience.  There will be times when his teacher physically can't get to him as quickly as he's accustomed to and he will have to wait a moment or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is not yet potty trained or it's something you're working on, he should be prepared to be fairly independent in the bathroom when it comes to wiping, washing hands, etc.  especially if he won't be starting until closer to age 4.  Different preschools have different rules for this particular thing (my SIL's daycare would not let her daughter advance to the 3's class until she was potty trained.  My daycare did not have this requirement, but it's not the first place I've heard of), but educate yourself about it so you can work towards it if you need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once your son is accepted, take him in to visit BEFORE his first day.  Meet his teacher, visit his classroom, meet the director and assistant director of the school.  Spend some time learning where things are in the classroom.  When we enrolled my son in his preschool, he suddenly started having potty accidents even though he hadn't had an accident in MONTHS.  Come to find out, he wasn't sure where the bathroom was and he was too shy to ask.  Once I showed him where the bathroom was, it wasn't a problem anymore.  So take the time to show him the bathroom, the water fountain, the sink where he'll wash his hands (a lot of times their bathroom and sink are in their classrooms--if not, ask his teacher so you can show him).  Show him the playground and the different centers in his class.  You can talk about his daily schedule so he'll kind of know what to expect when he goes in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the big thing is to accept that he will probably be sad and maybe a little angry when the time comes to leave his in-home daycare, and that's perfectly normal and expected.  Maybe driving by the new school and saying, &quot;This is where you're going to be going for big boy school&quot; would be a good starting point.  If he's sad or angry that's ok, and he needs to know that, and it's ok to be scared and excited and everything all at once (even if you're outgoing, it can still be tough to be the new kid).  The goal is to make sure to channel those emotions in a positive way.  Maybe you and he could go pick-out a good-bye present for his old teacher (a little picture frame with his picture in it maybe?) and a hello present for his new teacher.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T01:21:29.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11535" CreationDate="2014-02-22T02:01:45.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm guessing your son will do very well right off the bat.  I'll start this by saying a lot of times - especially with the outgoing personalities, the parents are way more freaked about changes like this than the kids are.  If you don't treat like a big deal (but also don't surprise him with it - go ahead and talk to him about it) he probably won't think it is that big a deal either.  It is a good idea to start addressing the change now and just continue to bring it up somewhat casually and with a bit of an &quot;oh this is going to be so fun and exciting&quot; kind of tone occasionally throughout the next (stretch of time) so it doesn't come as a shock, but also don't expect him to be upset by the change either (sometimes we create our own problems with our own negative expectations and outlooks - they are far better at reading our tone and knowing when we are stressing about something than we like to think).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is joining the school at a time when many of the kids are new to the school I wouldn't worry about any of these first two categories (except the bathroom skills), but if he joins when most of the kids in his class have already been at the school for awhile you may find these first two categories helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Essential Skills to Have in Order to Attend Confidently (At most schools)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Caveat - no preschool child is perfect at any of these yet, and teachers expect to continue working on these.  However, children should generally have some of these skills and exhibit them more often than not in order to not be &quot;in trouble&quot; all the time.  These are the kinds of skills that if problematic will be brought to your attention to deal with right away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Going Potty and Bathroom Skills:  This varies slightly from school to school (even classroom to classroom depending on the age of the kids within it) but at many more formally organized preschools, children are expected to handle their bathroom skills supervised but without a lot of assistance.  Things such as wiping, washing hands, pulling pants back up. . . are all things the teachers will help with when a child is having trouble, but they expect not to have to help with these things regularly.  When I was in a three's classroom (where they were expected to already be potty trained) I had a student that had never even tried to wipe for himself upon arrival to the school - it wasn't a big deal, but the first thing we did, was talk to the mom about how to help him learn to do it for himself (that same day) and we started him on a plan to achieve self-wiping within two weeks of arriving at school (who-ever does the laundry at your house, might want to prepare for seeing some skid marks from time to time).  If the school does potty training, they are less likely to be as strict about this in classrooms where there are children who are not yet potty trained, but independence in this area is just a good thing as soon as possible anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Social Skills: Things like sharing, taking turns, waiting for the teacher and listening will be practiced and there will be goals toward improvement in areas where a child is weak, but while teachers will expect to need to prompt kids, help with conflict resolution and the like, they will expect any child to have had &lt;strong&gt;Some&lt;/strong&gt; experience in these areas before attending.  As your child has already attended a day care, (for parents of children who have not attended daycare, don't worry, play-groups, siblings, time with extended family. . . all count!) you probably don't need to worry about any of this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Circle Time: We had a loose expectation that at two, a child should be able to participate in circle time (sitting quietly ready to listen, raise hands etc.) for about five minutes, by four the expectations was closer to fifteen (at the beginning of the school year, closer to ten and twenty respectively in spring).  Again, this will vary from school to school and no sane teacher will expect perfection (especially at first) but some sense of being able to sit and listen to a &lt;strong&gt;short&lt;/strong&gt; story/ participate in a calendar talk and other such activities will be something he will do on a daily basis at least once per day right away.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Skills that Are Helpful to Have (but most are not necessary)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Dressing Skills:  In the US, I believe most states regulate there can never be more than 10 kids/carer present in the classroom until children are at least five.  Your state may be different, but I believe that is still generally the standard.  Because of this, preschool teachers can help with getting shoes emptied of sand after outdoor play, buttoning coats and other general dressing difficulties for kids this age, but if your son can confidently handle whatever clothes he is wearing, he won't have to wait his turn for help as much - a big plus when you are three/four.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Name recognition: Since everything from his cubby to his artwork will be labled with his name, it is great if your son can pick his name out of the crowd (first name and last initial) and even better if he can write it too.  Again, this is not necessary - the teachers will work with him on both skills if he doesn't have them already, but they will be some of the first to be worked on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Recognition of Certain Symbols: many classrooms do weather, how am I today and calendar talks daily.  In these circumstances, the teacher will introduce the symbols and again, it isn't a big deal if he doesn't already know these things, but it can be helpful to your son if he has at least seen some of these things before.  Things like what the days of the week are, what a calendar looks like, how a sunny day vs a rainy day might be depicted in a picture and finally (but less commonly) how emotions are depicted on &quot;faces&quot; made with a circle and a few simple lines (happy would be a smiley face, angry might have eyebrows pointing in) can help with the &quot;how am I feeling today&quot; can come up on a daily basis and feeling confident with at least some of this material will help him feel more a part of the group right off the bat.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your son to be most comfortable and ready for the change, it is good for him to feel in control of the situation and not be surprised by it.  Most kids that are outgoing don't need a lot of preparation for starting preschool other than just helping with an understanding of what to expect - and there are a lot of resources to help with that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The first resource is the school itself:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schools often have a system for inducting their new students into the school culture and expectations.  As a spot opens up, you are likely to get a memo addressing this very question from your school with specifics your school has found helpful for its particular community.  In any case, take their suggestions to heart - they come from experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Once you know a spot is opening up and have a time-frame with which&#xA;to work, see if you can have your son visit the school (if you&#xA;haven't already).  Let him &quot;tour&quot; the school with you, ask questions&#xA;of the director or teacher that heads the tour, meet the teacher in&#xA;whose class he will be in and maybe even spend a half hour or so in&#xA;class with the other kids (if possible).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get to know the daily schedule.  Let him know what will happen when&lt;br&gt;&#xA;he arrives in the morning, approximately when snack will be (relative&#xA;to other things in the schedule like outside play, circle time, drop &#xA;off. . . )  He doesn't need to know every detail, but if he has some&#xA;sense of the types of activities he will do, when snack, lunch, nap&#xA;and pick up are he is likely to feel more comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Books and Videos To Introduce Formal Classroom &quot;Basics&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While your son isn't starting elementary, there are a lot of things a formal preschool program (especially one that also has a K level classroom) shares with an elementary school.  So, using books and videos intended for teaching about or addressing this milestone can be tremendously helpful in building confidence.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Od62QhNC8A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;LeapFrog's Let's go to School&lt;/a&gt; is an example you could check out if you'd like.  I know it is available on Netflix Streaming.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0060539690&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Little Critter's First Day of School&lt;/a&gt; is another good example from books.  These are just two quick references with which I am familiar - there are a plethora of these, so please don't think these are the only, or even the best options out there.  Your local children's librarian will be a great resource on this one.  One of my favorites for &quot;first timers&quot; to being away from Mom and Dad is &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1933718005&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Kissing Hand&lt;/a&gt;.&quot; though it is a little long for a three year old - you may want to pre-read and &quot;cut&quot; if he has a short attention span.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just introducing a few books and or videos like this into the mix over the next few months will allow your son to work through any general questions or concerns he might have in this &quot;fictional&quot; kind of way.  It can help to open up conversation between you if he &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; worried at all too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How you are a Resource&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You probably already have a &quot;drop off&quot; routine as well as a &quot;pick-up&quot; routine.  As much as possible, don't change these.  If you've always given him a &quot;monster kiss&quot; and a hug before you left him at drop off, do the same thing at the new school and reassure him ahead of time that you will continue to do the same thing at the new school (unless he asks for a change - then of course, if its reasonable, go with it).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He may be concerned about missing old friends - where possible, set up some play dates and let your son see you exchanging phone numbers and email addresses with the parents of his friends.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Trust the Teachers&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With small teacher/child ratios, preschool teachers are generally pretty able to get to know their kids pretty well.  Build a rapport with your child's teacher as soon as you know who that will be, ask questions and be interested, but also know they are there to help your child and will be aware that he is new to the community.  They'll help guide him through challenges in those first days and alert you to any problems if they crop up.  You've chosen this school for good reasons and I'm sure you've done due diligence to be sure it will be a warm, welcoming and appropriate environment for your child.  Relax in knowing that even if he has none of the skills I listed in the first two sections - he'll get there and not only will he have your help in doing so, but also a host of educators from the school as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-22T02:11:15.507" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T02:11:15.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11516" CreationDate="2014-02-22T02:53:12.417" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know you are not concerned, but for the sake of other viewers that may be:  The first thing to know is that in most cases, imaginary friends do not denote a problem with which a person should be concerned.  As &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11527/2876&quot;&gt;metacore&lt;/a&gt; points out, there are a couple of &quot;types&quot; of imaginary friends that can be cause for concern, but 65% of children seem to develop an imaginary friend at some point or another so if your child does have one, it is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; the cause for concern some people believe it to be.  It is also important to know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Myth: Introverts are more apt to have imaginary friends. &#xA;  Reality: Nope, extroverts are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Okay, this myth was busted prior to the 2004 study. But it's worth&#xA;  noting. In 1990, the authors of &quot;The House of Make-Believe&quot; — Yale's&#xA;  Dorothy G. Singer, now a senior research scientist, and Jerome L.&#xA;  Singer, now a professor emeritus of psychology — reported that their&#xA;  research did not support the old axiom that imaginary friends are&#xA;  linked to shyness or maladjustment. As Taylor puts it: &quot;The kids who&#xA;  are choosing to create imaginary friends tend to be more sociable and&#xA;  to have more friends than other children.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is interesting to know as well that most kids also know their friends aren't &quot;real&quot; but somehow manage to treat their friends with a very real sincerity.  When I was about three I was very concerned because we left my &quot;friend&quot; Becky at my Dad's shop when we went to see him at his lunch time one day.  Apparently, I through a fit because I expected my very pregnant mother to walk me back down to the shop to pick her up.  Because I had clever parents, mom called the shop and my Dad devised a &quot;fun field experience&quot; day for Becky where she learned how to make whatever it was he was working on that day and I got past it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My take?  Sometimes it is just fun to imagine a world where your imaginary friend can swim to China and bring back a Panda for you to pet all in the span of a few minutes, or that your best friend is Disney Royalty and has invited you to attend the ball, or that your best friend keeps a tiger in his garage.  I'll admit I do speak from experience here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I had many more imaginary friends than just Becky btw she is just the one that got left behind most often - probably my excuse to get back out of the house again on occasion knowing me) . . . In my case, and the case of my daughter when she had such a friend - it was someone to play school with - someone who could sit and read books as long as I could and who &lt;strong&gt;wanted&lt;/strong&gt; to explore the woods while wearing a princess dress (because the boys are a lot of fun, but sometimes you have to have a girl along too) and from whom I could learn some things.  My imaginary friend (Robyn) was much better at building forts in the woods than any of the boys I played with, my sister, myself or my real girl-friends Kirsten and Jess - I &quot;learned&quot; a lot about thatching and structural integrity from her :-)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all imaginary friends are human either.  Another girl-friend of mine (this was around second grade I think), made her pencils into people by drawing faces on them and dressing them.  She spoke to them and asked their advice on her school work (she now has a doctorate in astro physics).  One of my imaginary friends was a pegasus that could hide in the clouds but allow me to hear whatever I wanted (I spied on politicians, teachers, anyone I thought might have something interesting or funny to say).  Oh, and I met the Sandman too and &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; could help me travel to the land of fairy tales where I could go play in the woods with Red, blow over pig's houses with the wolf and even go on my own quests like St George or Robin Hood.  (No, I'm not insane - just imaginative).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems my own hypotheses aren't all that far fetched according to recent studies&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Myth: Imaginary friends are the ones who make mistakes, the ones&#xA;  blamed for knocking over that vase. &#xA;  Reality: They're often more likerole models — even idols.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Kids are thinking about issues around competence — what they can and&#xA;  can't do — and mulling that over in the context of interaction with&#xA;  their imaginary friend,&quot; says Taylor. &quot;Who can do somersaults? Who can&#xA;  read? Who can tie their shoes? Who is riding a bike without training&#xA;  wheels? A lot of times the friend will be the one who can do it all.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your son's imaginary friend fits into this &quot;role-model&quot; category as his &quot;brother&quot; sounds highly successful.  A healthy imaginary friend is like the characters we love the most in our favorite stories - they do things we might not be willing to do right away.  We learn from their brave examples.  They live in our imaginations when we need them for whatever reason - entertainment, living out our wildest dreams (whether they can eventually be lived out in real life or not) and yes, having the friend that will do the thing maybe even the real child isn't so sure he/she wants to do (a form of the child encouraging him or herself to take a healthy risk).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Myth: Big kids don't have imaginary companions. It's a little-kid&#xA;  thing. Reality: Children can hang on to them long past preschool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The assumption was that imaginary friends scram by the time their&#xA;  conjurers turn 4. Wrong again. Taylor says one of the more startling&#xA;  things to come out of her study is the stats on longevity. Older kids&#xA;  (post-preschool, that is) continue to consort with imaginary friends&#xA;  as they age. It's possible for made-up friends to stay a long time —&#xA;  years, even. In fact, Taylor cites several famous adults who openly&#xA;  admitted still having imaginary friends. Paul Taylor, a cultural icon&#xA;  in the world of dance, attributed some of his work to his imaginary&#xA;  friend, who he said was named George H. Tacet, Ph.D. (we're not&#xA;  kidding). Call him the ultimate guest artist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often, it is simply one facet of imagination and one part of really coming to grips with fact vs. fiction and how far that &quot;boundary&quot; can be pushed - at least, that's my opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might find &lt;a href=&quot;http://family.go.com/parenting/pkg-preschool/article-826297-the-real-reasons-kid-create-imaginary-friends-t/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; (from which the quotes come) interesting as well as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/growing-friendships/201301/imaginary-friends&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this one which was originally linked in a comment&lt;/a&gt;.  They are both about the same study, but interesting none-the-less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://auburnpub.com/lifestyles/why-do-children-create-imaginary-friends/article_c06feaa9-501b-53d0-8512-03f1e6fc5455.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Bob Trapani&lt;/a&gt;, owner of Thrive by Five and chair of the New York State Occupational Therapist's Association, you might want to not only &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; discourage, but even &lt;strong&gt;encourage&lt;/strong&gt; this imaginary play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So instead of worrying about an imaginary relationship your child has,&#xA;  think of the rewards they are getting from it and help them reap the&#xA;  benefits by welcoming their friend into your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example, invite her (or him, or it) to join you for meals, outings&#xA;  or other family activities, and follow your child's lead. If they want&#xA;  their &quot;friend&quot; to have a place at the table, help them set one, if&#xA;  asked. But don't use your child's friend to try to “change” your&#xA;  child’s behavior (&quot;Look how 'Scooter' ate all of their lunch! Why&#xA;  don't you?&quot;). In addition, don’t let your child use their friend to&#xA;  escape consequences (“'Scooter' didn’t break the lamp, you did&quot;).&#xA;  Lastly, remember to provide your child with plenty of other real-life&#xA;  companions and opportunities for other kinds of imaginative play. To&#xA;  quote noted author and artist Barbara Goldstein, “An imaginary friend&#xA;  is often what the child needs it to be.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T14:02:50.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11540" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11541" CreationDate="2014-02-22T14:02:24.020" Score="6" ViewCount="852" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is natural to have an &quot;image&quot; of what we want our child to become in future. Our education is directly related to this imagination, but when and how should we allow a child to develop his/her own preferences and attractions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;i.e. all my childhood, at any free minute I've played basketball, but my parents thought I should learn music. Today I have not even one friend interested in classic music that I learnt for 7 years, but I have a lot of friends that like basketball and I even play in our job basketball team. I had a very bitter experience considering opportunities I missed because my parents absolutely ignored my inspiration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I don't want to make a similar mistake with my child, but how do I avoid such a mistake is the question... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6830" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-02-24T13:30:29.307" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T17:31:14.983" Title="How do we balance our expectations for our children with allowing them freedom to pursue their own interests?" Tags="|education|teaching|activities|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11540" CreationDate="2014-02-22T15:06:33.230" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think parents have to know they have experience that helps guide them in knowing what is good for their kids &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; in helping the parents to decide upon particular values they have and want to instill in their child.  However, they have to also know their child will have differences of opinion and allow room for that and the exploration every child needs to find their talents and passions.  For me, it is helpful always to come back to the following couple of questions and try to answer them honestly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Am I pushing this for my child's health?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Am I pushing this for my child's education and later career success in whatever career she may have?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Am I pushing this because it fits my image of my child or because it will help her with her own goals?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I'm pushing something because it fits with &lt;strong&gt;my image&lt;/strong&gt; of her as a success, I'm probably in need of some reflective time and I probably need to let it go.  If I'm pushing something for my child's own health (like, eat the green stuff instead of the neon colored corn product coated in sugar) then I am doing what I need to as a parent.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It is question number two that gets a little trickier and needs the most thought.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example: I doubt if studying classical music for seven years hurt you at all and though it may not fit with your current interests or the interests of your friends, it may have introduced you to some listening skills that give you a better understanding of how music works in general.  It is completely possible your parents could have answered question number two with a resounding yes to this question (though they may also have needed to answer yes to number three - which would have meant letting you quit).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think wanting to expose your child to a wide variety of healthy experiences is a good thing.  Wanting to narrow them into one activity alone and over-focusing on one thing runs the risk of pushing a child in an area that is not their interest at the exclusion of things that are their interests.  Including even, some that do not interest you that much.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to write about how I address this in my own household as an example and hope you find it helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My Goals&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I want my child to be healthy, successful academically in a general way, find a passion, have athletic ability and activity to fall back on for health, be able to swim (for her safety on boats, docks and around pools), and have some sort of musical ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My Child's Goals&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;My daughter just wants to have fun, do something that allows for her to &quot;hang with friends,&quot; and &quot;Keep the water off my face.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What I Ask of Her&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;In order to attain my goals for her while respecting &lt;strong&gt;most&lt;/strong&gt; of her wishes, she is currently (at age seven) required to take swimming lessons until she proves she can move around in the water independently enough to get from one side of the pool to the other and know basic open water safety rules, take a class that teachers her a musical skill, and participate in a sport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By handling things this way, I feel I am attempting to give her skills that are important for her future well being both physically and in possible career fields (As an example, learning how to work collaboratively and as part of a team is a good general skill that a child might learn while playing a team sport.  It is also well established that there is a relationship between a child's activity levels and success in school).  At the same time, I am not specifying exactly the activity itself - she gets to choose that.  I played the piano for eleven years as well as the flute for about five - if she chose drums, or the guitar, or the saxophone, or stuck with the vocal lessons, she would still be meeting my goals while exploring her interest).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the sport, swimming would count, but she chooses to also do Tai Kwon Do and is considering trying Soccer.  For music, she has taken voice classes in the past, but recently chose to switch to piano.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I have to be careful about&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;It easy to get a plate that is too full, so I often have to ask my daughter to give something up in order to try the next new thing.  It is a constant balancing act.  It also sometimes comes into contradiction with teaching commitment, tenacity and perseverence.  When she wants to quit because something is hard, I won't let her.  When she wants to quit something because it just isn't a passion for her - then, I don't see the point in forcing her to continue (unless it is something required for school like writing, or something I am requiring because the skill is important, like swimming).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case of swimming, I have been absolutely up front about why she needs to be able to swim and given her an &quot;out&quot; or a goal to shoot for, that when reached, the choice becomes hers whether to stay or quit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think if you approach things with this kind of a philosophy (but pointed at the things that are most important to you) you also have to have a good relationship with your child where your child is comfortable discussing his/her hopes, dreams, desires and goals with you.  That is also a &lt;strong&gt;very good thing.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A Great Resource to Help Families Communicate as well as think through things like this&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;We have used the methods covered in &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0307440850&quot;&gt;The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families&lt;/a&gt;&quot; and &quot;The Seven Habits of Happy Kids&quot; both to identify what our goals are and to communicate about those goals while keep everything in balance.  We refer back to these two books a lot and even have a family mission statement to help guide us in our decision making.  It probably appears that it only loosely relates, but I highly recommend this book and the ideas in it as a way to give yourself a guide for checking in with yourself and your own goals for your child as well as how to teach your child about achieving goals and being disciplined about it, how to communicate effectively and just attain success in each thing he/she tries.  It will relate much more closely than I can express here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T15:06:33.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11542" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11570" CreationDate="2014-02-22T18:43:31.823" Score="11" ViewCount="255" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes one or both of our kids (boys, 4 and 7) eat very little at dinner, stating that they've had enough. We do not want to force them to overeat, so usually they have to eat at last half of it and can leave the rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But sometimes we just &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; they will be hungry later. If they are, they can get some bread. If there were any leftovers they'll get that. The thing is that we saw it coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we have encouraged or even forced them to eat more at dinner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we not give them something when they're hungry later, to make them feel the consequences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-02-22T21:26:16.180" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T17:10:43.443" Title="Finishing their plates vs eating later" Tags="|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10570" CreationDate="2014-02-22T22:13:28.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, I'm answering my own question as a number of things happened that sort-of solved the problem for me, I stumbled on some great resources &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; wound up combining the answers that were given here too (both from answers and comments really).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10574/2876&quot;&gt;Beofett&lt;/a&gt; even down to preferring the Signet Classics over many of the other options we encountered - even the &quot;No Fear&quot; translations that make it possible to read it in a &quot;modern interpretation&quot; are not all that helpful because a lot of the nuance gets lost and it is too tempting for her to just read the &quot;modern take.&quot;  The Folger versions are also very good - but include a little &lt;strong&gt;too&lt;/strong&gt; much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Touch of Greatness was a wonderful film about a man that was clearly a spectacular and inspiring teacher - I do recommend it.  However, Alice found it a bit boring and &quot;old fashioned&quot; so I didn't make her watch it.  The main point of the movie within the context of what I was looking for though, was that actually acting out the parts makes all the difference in the world for kids and that they really can understand Shakespeare in a very deep way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best resource I found to help guide us was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.howtoteachyourchildrenshakespeare.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;How to Teach Your Children Shakespeare&lt;/a&gt; which goes over a few of the plays in detail and breaks down a few key scenes as well as contains biographical information.  The online resources have printable quotes pages that are designed to help with visualization of lines the kids will memorize (that are explained in depth within the book) and audio clips of professionals reading the lines with proper pausing and pronunciation as well as nice emphasis and emotion.  Like Beofett, the book starts kids off with a Midsummer Night's Dream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are quiet a surprising number of &quot;kid's versions&quot; of even the darker plays like Macbeth, both in books and other media.  We enjoyed &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.greathall.com/products/shakespeare.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Jim Weiss' tellings&lt;/a&gt; of Romeo and Juliet, Midsummer Night's Dream and Taming of the Shrew.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another actor in the play with us is a Literary professor and suggested to really focus (from an &quot;appreciate the writing&quot; standpoint on finding the antitheses in whatever we are reading.  The suggestion was that it would push vocabulary while also setting Alice up for a good understanding in symbolic/metaphorical language.  We did this and also analyzed the prologue to Romeo and Juliet considering it one large antithesis.  Since the prologue is a sonnet (generally considered a poem for expressing love) it is interesting that there are some twenty words in it like mutiny, enmity, brawl (or other words that demonstrate actions that stem from hate or are violent) &quot;Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10573/2876&quot;&gt;Chrys&lt;/a&gt;' image made me think to look up modern tales inspired by Shakespeare as well as music that references Shakespeare.  When I pointed out that the song in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban the toad and kid's choir sings at the beginning had lyrics from Macbeth, Alice was stoked.  We had no trouble finding all kinds of things that reference Romeo and Juliet.  Then, since Valentine's Day was part of the time span that passed between posting the question and now, her teacher had the kids play the &quot;Great Couples&quot; game where you have to figure out who you are (based on a card on your forehead, or taped to your back) and then find your proper match - coincidentally she was Juliet - which we got a good laugh out of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We wound up actually acting in Romeo and Juliet, so my daughter learned a lot about that play in particular.  She had a line (as potpan, the serving person) and a couple of other unspoken parts, but in the process can now say the lines of Lord Capulet when he is angry and Juliet, the lines of both Romeo and Juliet for the first half of the balcony scene and the love sonnet from when they first meet, as well as a few other bits here and there - It wound up being a truly wonderful experience for her &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; the woman that played the Nurse is director of the local Shakespeare repertory theater and invited her to join.  Alice will actually be acting as one of the witches in Macbeth in a single scene rendition for a festival coming up and is in charge of presenting a two minute biographical speech on Shakespeare himself.  Now, my biggest problem will be in avoiding over-exposure as Chrys warned against.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I appreciate all the postings and the help they offered so thanks to all of you, our studies have been rewarding so far and I am sure will continue to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T22:13:28.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11542" CreationDate="2014-02-22T23:24:28.743" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If they are getting the same food later, it's not like they are holding out for something better.  In my opinion, I wouldn't force them to eat more than they want to.  What we do with my son (who would rather play than eat) is make him sit at the table until everyone is done eating.  That way if he's not hungry, fine, he doesn't have to eat.  But he doesn't get to play either.  He still ends up snacking later, but I feel like he eats more than if we didn't make him sit there.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6768" LastActivityDate="2014-02-22T23:24:28.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11545" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11556" CreationDate="2014-02-23T06:27:24.580" Score="5" ViewCount="1052" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know I am beautiful and slim and trim, but still I always had and still have a low self esteem probably because I wasn't &quot;good&quot; at anything like sports, dancing, cooking etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always kept on &quot;telling&quot; people that I am not good enough. I even told my ex boyfriend several times that he was making a mistake in choosing me since I am not more worthy than mud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I even told my first interviewer several times that I don't know anything, he kept on telling me that you are answering everything correctly and I kept on repeating that that's just a fluke! Yes, I did that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what went wrong in my childhood, but I do NOT want my child to undergo what I went through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents were very protective of me throughout my childhood and still are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have always told me what to do and what not to. When I was in 6th grade I decided that doing anything without asking them how is useless because then they'll be telling me that I have done it wrong and should have been done it in some other way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents are strict and I have to do what they tell me to do like eating food even when I am not hungry, going somewhere even when I don't want to, wearing what they want me to wear rather than what I want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to raise a child such that she has high self esteem throughout her life?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Her age: 8 months.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;My age: 31 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-18T06:34:46.607" LastActivityDate="2017-01-18T13:15:07.957" Title="How to raise a child such that she has high self esteem throughout her life?" Tags="|infant|age-appropriate|self-esteem|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11547" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11552" CreationDate="2014-02-23T06:44:17.310" Score="2" ViewCount="876" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is really a problem for me to feed the child with the spoon. For me it is quite hectic since the child isn't very cooperative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I give the same semi solid diluted food to her from the bottle which she drinks peacefully. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;The food does  NOT contain any sugar or any salt.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; I wish to continue the same till she reaches the age when she will be able to eat comfortably with a spoon which I guess is the age of 1 year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's the harm if I let my infant drink all her semi solid food through her bottle til she turns &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;one year old&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age: 8 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2014-02-23T15:46:57.987" Title="What's the harm if I let my infant drink all her semi solid food through her bottle til she turns one year old?" Tags="|infant|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11548" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-23T08:17:21.040" Score="3" ViewCount="20790" Body="&lt;p&gt;After feeds and burping sessions, my newborn hiccups quite a lot. Are there any tried and tested positions that help alleviate the hiccups?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6874" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T12:35:40.250" Title="What is the best way to stop your newborn hiccuping?" Tags="|newborn|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11545" CreationDate="2014-02-23T10:35:00.530" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When your child does something find a specfic detail and comment positively about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I love they way you used colour for this picture!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;This play dough creature has such a cheeky face, you did a good job doing that&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This let's the child know what they are doing right and is more effective than just praising the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow the child to access suitable risk.  Allow the child to develop autonomy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-02-23T10:35:00.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11547" CreationDate="2014-02-23T12:38:44.797" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children need to learn to eat and it is slow and difficult work. At 6 months or so the food they get by spoon or hand may or may not serve any nutritional purpose, but is part of that learning process for them (and for the adults trying to get it into them.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As time goes past between that first mouthful and say the one-year mark so much happens:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby learns how to open for the spoon, take in a mouthful, and swallow it instead of spitting it out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby learns how to manipulate soft food (move it around inside the mouth with the tongue) so it can be chewed, to chew it, and to swallow it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby learns how to communicate &quot;I like that! more!&quot; and &quot;I don't like that!&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby learns how to get across to you that they don't want something in the future, or that something is their favourite&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby takes some control by picking up certain kinds of foods (a cooked pea, a little cereal piece, a little cube of a soft fruit) and feeding it to themselves&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby learns that different food have different textures and tastes and is exposed to a variety of them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the baby starts to develop preferences and realize she can choose some of what happens to her such as what she eats or at least what she swallows&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you learn how to spoonfeed (it's a skill) and how to interpret those early attempts at communication&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you teach the baby how to be part of the team effort of getting food into them; you will use these skills when they need to co-operate with getting dressed, brushing long hair, and thousands of other activities&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you teach the baby your values, for better or worse: I remember a grandparent who said after every spoonful that went into my oldest some sort of value judgement like &quot;mmm! yummy! sweet! good girl!&quot; or &quot;strong taste to make you strong!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast if you thicken milk with cereal or pureed vegetables the only need you are meeting is nutritional. 50 years ago doctors would suggest this for babies that weren't sleeping well. That might have some value, but it's not a long term strategy to stick with till one year of age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Accept that this is one of those hard things babies and their parents are going to learn. Don't try to start it too early - that makes it even harder - but don't try to skip it entirely. Perhaps you want to minimize the length of the &quot;spooning mush into the mouth&quot; phases, but do so by getting the baby self-feeding (not with a spoon, with things she can pick up) not by sticking with the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-02-23T15:46:57.987" LastActivityDate="2014-02-23T15:46:57.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11545" CreationDate="2014-02-23T15:19:42.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;They have to do their own stuff.  Make lots of options available, lots of stuff they could use within their reach, supervised for safety, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they're toddlers, keep their TV time limited. There's no success in watching others. Let them get their stories from the books you read to them and they learn to read to themselves. (Their reading starts with them telling you what's happening in the pictures.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blocks, crayons, paints, active toys are best. Keep art supplies on hand, and don't mind the mess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At age four and beyond, my daughter wouldn't let us throw anything away. Every box, piece of packing Styrofoam, plastic jug was &quot;useful&quot;. She made stuffed animal zoos and leprechaun traps, automatic door closers and catapults. Among the best toys we ever bought were a few pieces of brightly colored fabric sold as &quot;sarongs&quot; in the local grocery store. They were clothes, blankets, tents, capes, invisibility cloaks (they picked that up in pre-school) and a thousand other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Active, active, active! They should move. Read, read read! They should hear you read, they should read with you. Talk, talk, talk! You should talk with them about everything you're doing and everything they're doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-02-23T21:06:23.147" LastActivityDate="2014-02-23T21:06:23.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11545" CreationDate="2014-02-23T15:24:59.380" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, self-esteem is a complicated component of our personalities and building a good self-esteem in a child is not entirely up to the parents.  Your child will have a certain amount of &quot;innate&quot; personality that will play a part in who she is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, Parents probably are the most significant influence there is on a child (and her self-esteem) so obviously, there are some things parents can do (or not do) that play a role in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be there For her&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first and most important thing is to be there.  Hold her when she needs a hug, read to her, play with her, etc. etc.  Spending time with, on and for your daughter communicates to her that she is important to you - a &lt;strong&gt;big±&lt;/strong&gt; part of self-esteem is in feeling important and loved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Care about What she Cares About&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you care about what she cares about you further communicate she is important, but you also let her know that her interests and talents (whatever they are) are interesting.  Perhaps you were good at something, but your parents didn't encourage it because they didn't see value in it when you were small.  Relish in her accomplishments with her by celebrating with her (when she is older and the time comes), but also let her teach you.  When she is first exploring a new subject or talent, ask her questions about it - don't be fake about it, but even if your questions are about finding out about what she knows or thinks - you can ask questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I care for a young man on a regular basis that is obsessed with construction sites.  I've learned far more about tractors than I ever thought possible, but beyond that I also ask questions like, &quot;what do you think if feels like to use a jackhammer?&quot; or &quot;Do you think the loud noises would hurt your ears?&quot;  and when he is making a &quot;construction site&quot; in his sandbox, I'll say, &quot;What is being built today?&quot; and he might tell me &quot;its a hospital&quot; to which I can reply with things like, &quot;ooH!  where will the emergency bay be?  Oh and how many stories tall will it be?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Love her Non-Judgementally&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, you want to avoid being overly critical, but (and this might be surprising) you also want to avoid over-complimenting too.  Many people will tell you it is critical to compliment your children frequently, but there is actually significant evidence that such a tact can backfire (unfortunately, I have so much experience with this concept, I no longer remember exactly where I learned it.  However, I've run into Middle school kids, or adolescents with the resulting problems of too many compliments countless times and fully by into the concept because of an education in child psychology and development theory as well as experience.  I will link a couple of books at the bottom of this section that are all books that at least give nod to this concept).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some Examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids who are constantly told, &quot;You are so beautiful&quot; can actually become overly worried when their looks change and become overly critical of themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids that are constantly told, &quot;Wow you are so smart&quot; can often find themselves fearful of letting the whole world see they aren't smart by answering something with a &quot;wrong&quot; answer.  They then won't try things for fear of failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids who have their physical attributes (such as strength, speed, coordination) commented on frequently, &quot;Wow you are so strong, that is amazing&quot; can have similar responses too - they stop trying athletic activities out of concern they won't be the best at whatever it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids that get used to constant compliments also start to take the absence of a compliment as a failure.  Which puts you in a position where just because you didn't notice your child picked up two toys without a reminder, you are sending a &quot;bad&quot; message by not commenting on this good act.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means that instead of giving compliments, your default should be to talk to the child about what &lt;strong&gt;they&lt;/strong&gt; think.  In a small child, that might be something like, &quot;wow, it looks like wearing that dress makes you feel really good.&quot; or, &quot;How did throwing the ball that far make you feel?&quot;  Of course, mixing in an actual compliment here and there won't hurt, just be careful not to overdo it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://mindsetonline.com/&quot;&gt;Mindset&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/769016.How_To_Talk_So_Kids_Will_Listen_Listen_So_Kids_Will_Talk&quot;&gt;How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so they will Talk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0307440850&quot;&gt;Seven Habits&lt;/a&gt; You will find the relevant information in the &quot;Seek First to Understand&quot; chapter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Focus on the Journey&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along the same lines as the complimenting thing, focus on the efforts made, rather than the result and your child is also likely to fair better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I see you've really been practicing at kicking the soccer ball.  It seems like you are really trying hard to get that skill down.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the child that really is trying hard, this will &lt;strong&gt;feel&lt;/strong&gt; the same way as getting a genuine compliment, but all you are really doing is noticing a strong effort that is being made.  When the child is able to kick the ball a, &quot;Wow!  all that practice seems to have really paid off&quot;  helps to also compliment the efforts of the child, celebrate the success, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; instill a mindset that knows practice and effort yield good results (an attitude many of the most successful people (who also have a decent self-esteem) seem to have (&lt;a href=&quot;http://mindsetonline.com/&quot;&gt;Mindset, Carol Dweck&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give them jobs to Do&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I almost forgot this one - as she grows, give her a role to play in the family, and eventually, the community.  Contributing is an important part of being a social creature and is linked in to our psyche as well.  Make sure she knows her contributions are important and appreciated - chores (as much as they complain about them) are a significant part of this.  When she is old enough, volunteerism can play a role (as well as offer her some great experiences).  Make sure she knows what her contributions are - these are the places where genuine compliments can be meaningful:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Honey, I love how you provide us with colorful art pieces regularly.  It really helps to brighten my day.&quot;  or &quot;Darling, your suggestions often solve problems for us in creative ways.  I'm so glad you choose to share your ideas with us.&quot; or, &quot;The way you choose to be quiet and thoughtful in the afternoons really brings a calming energy to the family when everyone else is wound up - thanks.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a long process and journey to raise a child, and all of us want nothing but the best for our kids.  Keep learning, working at it and showing your child your kind, loving attention and you will have done the best you can for her.  After that, her self-esteem is up to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-23T15:31:10.127" LastActivityDate="2014-02-23T15:31:10.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11548" CreationDate="2014-02-23T17:07:46.117" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby had reflux so hiccuping was especially problematic for her as it churned things up EVEN More.  So we had to work hard at getting all the gas out for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found the traditional burping position didn't actually do this.  It was easier to burp her by placing her in a seated position on the adult's knee, with her legs dangling inward.  Since I am right-handed I'll describe it to you from my perspective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby on my right knee facing to my left and held by my left arm. &#xA;While her head still need support, I used my forearm for her to&#xA;&quot;lean on&quot; and cradled her chin in the palm of my left hand.  When&#xA;she no longer needed the head support I simply let her lean with my&#xA;arm across her chest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Using my right hand I would then gently pat starting at her lower&#xA;back in a quick repetative upward motion to her upper back.  Then, I&#xA;would move my hand back down to her lower back and on the second&#xA;pass rub in an upward motion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After completing step two, two or three times, I would then cause&#xA;her to lean forward a little more by moving my left arm accordingly.&#xA;This usually caused a &lt;strong&gt;huge&lt;/strong&gt; burp.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we got a nice big burp, there were fewer hiccups, or at least the ones she had were more mild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the mom, I also watched what I ate very closely (kept a journal of my foods, how often she nursed and how much &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; journaled her symptoms as well as her foods when she started eating.  It was important to have the baby sitter help with the food/symptom journal, but it really proved helpful in looking for patterns.  I found that cruciferous foods (such as onions) often seemed to relate to more severe problems about a day later as did oily foods so I avoided those until she was no longer nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally though, hiccups are more annoying for us to listen to (when we aren't giggling over how cute they are) than they are troublesome for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-02-23T17:07:46.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11548" CreationDate="2014-02-23T19:35:32.903" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Supposedly, a sudden change in temperature or just being cold can cause hiccups in children. When you move your baby away from your body you may be exposing its front side to some loss of temperature which in turn may cause hiccups. Is your baby swaddled and dressed appropriately to your home temperature?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-02-23T19:35:32.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11559" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11569" CreationDate="2014-02-23T22:21:35.400" Score="5" ViewCount="107" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son can string together some quite complicated sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he still say &quot;my is&quot; rather than &quot;I am&quot;.  So, &quot;my is ready!&quot; rather than &quot;I am ready!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When do children learn this bit of language?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm avoiding ages because all children are different.  But I assume language development is similar so what has to be in place for children to move to &quot;I am&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T16:46:54.637" Title="I am vs my is - when do children develop this bit of language?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11561" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11655" CreationDate="2014-02-24T05:45:27.937" Score="8" ViewCount="594" Body="&lt;p&gt;From: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11545/how-to-raise-a-child-such-that-she-has-high-self-esteem-throughout-her-life#comment19090_11545&quot;&gt;How to raise a child such that she has high self esteem throughout her life?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Love unconditionally, allow her to make mistakes, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;allow her to disagree with you (This is not the same as letting her get her way)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, and avoid movies where the man rescues the princess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found the quote enlightening but I can't make out how to differentiate between allowing the child to disagree with you, and letting her get her way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T03:12:45.887" Title="How do you differentiate between allowing the child to disagree with you and letting her get her way?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11562" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11566" CreationDate="2014-02-24T06:06:32.490" Score="17" ViewCount="5582" Body="&lt;p&gt;This site is flooded with the questions about parents concerned about their children who try to sleep with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish to know why exactly are western country people so obsessed about not letting their children sleep with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know about SIDS, but around at the age past 1 year there isn't said to be any risk of SIDS so why do parents &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; their kids to sleep in a separate room always?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mentioned western country people because here in India if the parents don't let the child sleep with them, then it is a concern for everyone because that would mean that it is a foster child or the parents are foster or the parents are cruel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We let the child sleep in her room when she's grown up enough to take care of herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2014-07-02T03:58:34.173" Title="Why are parents so concerned about not letting the babies sleep with them?" Tags="|behavior|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11562" CreationDate="2014-02-24T07:11:17.070" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, if the child is sleeping with us, we can't engage in any other bed-suitable activities than sleeping. At least I think that sex is out of the question if our child sleeps with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, it may be difficult for the child to learn to sleep without parents later on. At one time or another it will have to happen and the transition may be painful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides - what if the kid goes to sleep at a different time than parents? What if the parents have to wake up early? Sleeping in a separate bed (most and likely a separate room) gives the parents much more freedom. And we do strive for as much freedom as possible, since the kids take so much of our time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I - personally - have nothing against co-sleeping. I think that both children and parents can take pleasure from it. I do, however, enjoy the freedom more. Two hours of free time in the evening and a low chance the child will wake is priceless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-24T11:12:42.263" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T11:12:42.263" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11561" CreationDate="2014-02-24T11:17:36.127" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this one may be a bit of an judgement call for each example, but mine would be this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your 4 year-old daughter is not bad for disagreeing with you about whether she's able to handle a bread-knife safely, and it's good to allow her to sulk or to challenge that boundary, as long as she's polite about it. &lt;strong&gt;But you don't let her pick up the knife.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing is, &lt;em&gt;it is not wrong for them to be annoyed at restrictions.&lt;/em&gt; You don't get angry at being challenged and demand that they be silent and &quot;respect your authority&quot;. You simply exert that authority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Critically, it is okay for her to ask &quot;Why?&quot; If you don't have an proper answer, you can still say &quot;Because it doesn't feel right to me, and I have to be the parent&quot;, but you should never be annoyed that she wants to engage with you rather than just ignoring or yelling at you. (Note that if there's a point where she's just trying to wear you down by persistent argument, that's not the same thing as genuinely asking. You have to judge this by your child). As Doc said in the comment, she may even be able to convince you, and that doesn't undercut your authority at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, it's the difference between saying &quot;the way you are feeling is wrong&quot; (bad), and &quot;the way you are behaving is wrong&quot;(good). Everyone's seen (and to at least some extent been) the parent who gets angry at the fact that their child is obeying the rule in a sulky way. It's a challenge, and it's easy to respond to that challenge in kind. Good parenting is about &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; indulging in whatever behaviour your child is indulging in. As long as they're still doing the right thing, you can accept that they're annoyed about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Respecting their thoughts and opinions is right, the same way you do with everyone you disagree with. But it's possible to respect them and still be the one in charge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-03-04T15:23:16.590" LastActivityDate="2014-03-04T15:23:16.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11562" CreationDate="2014-02-24T15:03:04.297" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dariusz gave a great answer. I only want to add that in reference to smaller (&amp;lt; 1 years old) children, some parents are heavy sleepers, in the event that a parent rolls over on the child, and smothers that child so that they cannot breathe, and the parent sleeping too heavy to know, then tragedy can result. The child may also decide at that moment to start their milestones and roll over, only not being able to roll back to the other side and suffocate themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On that same vein, kids that small can roll off of the bed, the bed being at a height that can damage to a kids skull and/or neck. Now, if the child sleeps between the parents or pillows, then they can still suffer from the above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T15:03:04.297" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11562" CreationDate="2014-02-24T16:13:25.467" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR Version&lt;/strong&gt;: Having a separate room for a child is generally a luxury that not everyone has, and the options that it opens up for those who have the opportunity to try it can be attractive.  Bed sharing is generally not recommended for health/safety reasons, so room sharing while avoiding bed sharing may be problematic or completely impractical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I'd like to distinguish between two variations on co-sleeping: &lt;strong&gt;bed sharing&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;room sharing&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Room sharing&lt;/strong&gt; is generally considered to be a best practice, as it allows easy monitoring of the child to facilitate feeding and comforting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bed sharing&lt;/strong&gt;, on the other hand, is considered a significant risk for SIDS and other infant death issues such as suffocation, and should be avoided, particularly under the following circumstances:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the infant is under the age of 3 months, regardless of other factors&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bed-sharing with a current smoker, or if the mother smoked during pregnancy, regardless of other factors&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bed-sharing with someone who is excessively tired, or using medications or substances that could impair their alertness or ability to wake up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;more than one child should not share the bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;soft surfaces, such as waterbeds, old mattresses, sofas, couches, armchairs, heavy blankets, quilts, comforters, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These come from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/AAP-Expands-Guidelines-for-Infant-Sleep-Safety-and-SIDS-Risk-Reduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;2011 recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics' task force on SIDS&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is, I think, unfair to paint this as a &quot;western thing&quot; or an &quot;obsession&quot;, as many, &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt; parents in western countries are strong advocates of co-sleeping.  Sleep training (as opposed to co-sleeping) may be unusual, or even unheard of, in many eastern cultures, but I'm not certain that all eastern cultures stigmatize it to the degree you portray India as doing.  It may simply be that having a &quot;spare bedroom&quot; that can be dedicated for an infant or child (or, for multi-children households, &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; child!) is generally considered a luxury (even in western countries).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the average household size in the U.S. has been &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.marketingcharts.com/wp/topics/demographics/american-households-are-getting-smaller-and-headed-by-older-adults-24981/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;steadily declining&lt;/a&gt;, and is now down to 2.59 people per household (with an &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-14.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;average family size of 3.14&lt;/a&gt; people).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compare this to India, which appears to have an &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_states_ranking_by_household_size&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;average household size of 4.8&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The desire for sleep training as an alternative to co-sleeping is, in my opinion, largely a function of &lt;em&gt;opportunity&lt;/em&gt;, rather than culture (it has admittedly become embedded as part of the American culture in the past, although, as I mentioned, that has changed in recent decades).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, now that that's out of the way, let's get to the question: why do some parents want their children to sleep in other rooms?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11563/420&quot;&gt;Dariusz's answer&lt;/a&gt; covers the basics quite well.  In addition to hampering intimacy, facilitating future transitions, and allowing divergent sleep schedules, giving an infant or toddler their own room allows a few other options that might not be available otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to letting the parents have some hours of &quot;adult time&quot; after the child goes to sleep, it can make it easier for parents to split up night time &quot;baby duty.&quot;  When my son was born, my wife and I alternated periods where one of us would be responsible for getting up in the middle of the night to respond to calls for comfort/feeding/changing.  Typically this responsibility would fall on whichever of us was not working the next morning (we alternated our vacation/maternity/paternity time so we could have one of us stay home all day with our son longer before we had to send him to daycare).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This arrangement wouldn't work nearly as well if the baby was in the room with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea that I recall seeing before is that of giving a baby their own &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1830/420&quot;&gt;safe room&lt;/a&gt;&quot; to explore on their own, filled with comfortable, safe, and age-appropriate toys.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a more practical side, since bed-sharing is considered a safety issue in many situations (as I described above), having the child sleep in another room may actually be a more practical alternative than finding ways to share the same room, whether due to living restrictions (e.g. there simply isn't enough room to place a safe crib or cot within the existing bedroom) or financial considerations (e.g. the family can't afford a crib &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; a small cot, or they were gifted/handed down a crib that is too big to fit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T17:33:53.073" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11567" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12138" CreationDate="2014-02-24T16:27:03.910" Score="6" ViewCount="7281" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember coming across many suggestions that we add a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_11?url=search-alias%3Dbaby-products&amp;amp;field-keywords=crib%20mobile&amp;amp;sprefix=crib+mobile%2Ctoys-and-games%2C206&quot;&gt;crib mobile&lt;/a&gt; to our crib for our baby.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that they were cited as &quot;providing stimulation&quot;, and I recall seeing something about bright, strongly-contrasting colors being &quot;better&quot; for the infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also seen suggestions that mobiles may provide overstimulation, or hinder sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any reputable studies on crib mobiles?  Do they say if they are helpful, harmful, or both?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T12:15:14.227" Title="Are crib mobiles helpful to infants?" Tags="|infant|toys|crib|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11562" CreationDate="2014-02-24T16:40:36.150" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would add that there are significant cultural differences between the US and to some extent other western countries (particularly British-origin cultures) and eastern countries (and even some 'western' countries) that make this a very different issue for the two cultures.  I'm going to use 'Americans' here as that is my experience, but I believe some of these points apply to other British-origin cultures as well (ie, Canada, Australia, and of course the UK).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, independence is very valued.  Independence from the government, independence from your family, independence of your children are all valued much more highly than in other cultures.  In the US, it's very common nowadays to have relatively little contact with your parents and siblings as an adult (ie, contact once a month or less), for heaven's sake.  Americans also value having large amounts of space in their home; in part this is due to availability of space, since it would be hard to imagine a 200m^2 home in India for a family of 4 - but in the US that's pretty normal.  It's also due to valuing property ownership (due to historic/cultural reasons) and owning a large enough property to have some space between oneself and one's neighbors (again, possible in the US).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Americans value having children in their own space as early as possible for similar cultural reasons.  Having a large enough house that you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; have each child in their own room is a status symbol (or was, now that it's fairly easy to do with smaller families).  Giving each child a separate area to call their own, and to feel ownership of, makes sense to Americans in a way that it doesn't really to others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, Americans aren't as comfortable with physical closeness - even with family members - as many other cultures.  A common issue Americans have travelling abroad in Europe or Asia is being uncomfortable with how close people stand to them when talking.  That might contribute to being less interested in having children sleep in the bed for some people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T16:40:36.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11559" CreationDate="2014-02-24T16:46:54.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this depends on the child to some extent.  My older son never went through that stage at all; he went straight from using the verb alone (&quot;go park&quot;) to using I (&quot;I want to go to the park&quot;).  He (and his friends at daycare) did go through the you/I confusion as is common; it's possible 'my' is simply a variant of that.  It's also possible &quot;my&quot; is really intended to be &quot;I&quot; - they are the same sound root, just with 'm' in front.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of not conjugating the verb properly, that I did see in my child for a little while.  &quot;Is&quot; is a common issue with children, particularly if their parents primarily talk to them in the third person (&quot;David is doing well!&quot; rather than &quot;You are doing well!&quot; / &quot;Mommy is going to the store&quot;).  Avoiding talking in the third person can help (certainly did for us); it's not going to fix things immediately, but the child isn't going to learn conjugations from a book - he's going to learn them from listening to Mommy and Daddy use the vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my son, he learned to use I/you properly and am/are shortly (a few months perhaps, though they seem closer to me) after he began using &quot;complete sentences&quot;.  Ie, he went from &quot;you go school&quot; to &quot;I am going to school&quot; more or less in one step; both the you/I and conjugation happened together along with adding other helper words like participles and adverbs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T16:46:54.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11542" CreationDate="2014-02-24T17:10:43.443" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is the sort of thing that depends on the degree.  My older son (2.5) usually is an incredible eater - he can eat 8oz of meat in one sitting, and is equally likely to eat 8oz or more of broccoli - but occasionally (maybe 1x/week) doesn't want to eat much at dinner.  As such, we don't worry much about these spells; either he really isn't hungry, or he has something else interfering (desire to play, etc.), but he's clearly eating enough overall (he's quite tall and of appropriate weight).  So we simply require him to stay for the meal and do not permit dessert on these days if it is available.  If he is hungry later, he may have his uneaten food - we save it in the fridge for the night, still on his plate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also say that as the children get older, this should be more 'up to them' so long as the consequences are understood (they may have leftovers, for example, but no new food - for example, no PB&amp;amp;J sandwich or cheese or similar food they may prefer to dinner) and it's not too frequent.  While a 2 year old might need some parental intervention to make sure she eats enough, a 4 to 7 year old should be competent at judging hunger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if this is an issue most days, then more significant action may be required.  With children old enough to discuss their reasons, do so - find out why they aren't eating with the family.  Let them know that it's necessary to eat with you, if you decide it is - and if they have good reasons, adjust for those.  They may not feel hungry at the time in which you serve the meal - if they have after-school snack at 4:30 then a 5:30 dinner time may be too early, for example.  If they don't like the food you prepare, perhaps involve them in meal planning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they simply don't feel like eating as a family, and it is important to you as parents to do so, then step up the consequences - stick with logically related ones, where possible; for example, start by prohibiting eating after dinner, and then perhaps extend to prohibiting gaming or TV watching after dinner if they don't participate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T17:10:43.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11540" CreationDate="2014-02-24T17:13:03.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The image I like to use is gardening.  Are you trying to help your apple tree grow into the healthiest, most fruitful apple tree it can be, or are you trying to make it into an orange tree, because that is what you would rather have?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One is healthy, the other is not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching your kid the value of hard work and consistent practice is a good thing.  Forcing them to play the violin and practice 8 hours a day when they hate the violin and would rather be writing poetry or playing tennis is not a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T17:13:03.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11540" CreationDate="2014-02-24T17:31:14.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the gardening metaphor is very interesting - but perhaps in a slightly different way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When growing an apple tree, do you prune it or let it grow wildly?  A pruned apple tree grows better fruit, after all; but it stays small and limited, particularly if you over-prune.  Do you fertilize the tree with nutrients you know would help it grow in a certain way?  I would think so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Guiding your children is sort of like pruning and fertilizing.  Do it too little, and you will harm your children's growth by failing to provide them the tools they need to grow and develop.  Do it too much, and you have a very frustrated child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finding the right balance is difficult, but so is parenting.  As a parent, you should ensure your child has some physical activities (sports/etc.), both to develop their physical bodies and to develop the concepts of 'teamwork' and 'leadership'.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Music is also good to learn, not only to actually perform the music, but to teach some logic and math concepts, and some think it helps develop the brain at the lower level in useful ways (such as in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/02/130212112017.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;).  While you may not play the violin anymore, it may have contributed to your cognitive processes in ways that are not easily seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly the balance is not doing everything the child would prefer; nowadays that often would be playing video games for hours at a time, after all, and that's almost certainly harmful in many ways - socially, physically, and cognitively.  Not that &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; video gaming is harmful, but playing with 'every free minute' is.  Basketball may have been good as well, for some time; but playing 'every free minute' probably wouldn't have been as cognitively beneficial as learning music.  Children are not as capable of understanding long term consequences, which is why they're called &quot;children&quot; and not &quot;younger people&quot;.  Parental guidance is absolutely necessary to some degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, childhood is both a time to develop the child and to have fun.  There is a difference between learning musical skills and spending &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; free time on them; I would think a child should be able to learn the violin and play basketball as well.  As long as there is a balance between 'development' and 'fun', it seems like you're in the right ballpark.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-24T17:31:14.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11448" CreationDate="2014-02-25T06:02:56.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another option:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wash her hair yourself one more time.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Calculate the amount of water you required to get the shampoo out of her hair throughly.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Next time, give her the pre-calculated amount of water and tell her to rinse her hair with that water till that bucket is empty.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach her to put most of the water on the back of her head since the water, while going down, will flow through rest of her head/hair and will take away the shampoo remains from the remaining parts of the head and hair.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2014-02-25T06:02:56.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4886" CreationDate="2014-02-25T08:37:14.747" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our daughter was in second grade and faced with a situation such as the one your daughter is/was in, her immediate response was always &quot;&lt;strong&gt;Why&lt;/strong&gt; would I want to be friends with someone like that?&quot; Our daughter is friendly to everyone, but naturally chooses &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; to be friends with kids who talk negatively about others and who are exclusive. She instinctively values kindness above everything and chooses to be with people who show kindness to others as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your daughter, instead of trying to be accepted by either of the &quot;teams&quot; and possibly worried about what they could say about her, she might want to focus on what &lt;strong&gt;she&lt;/strong&gt; thinks about them and ask herself if a friendship with any of these girls would be a high quality friendship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6895" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-17T13:14:09.543" LastActivityDate="2019-02-17T13:14:09.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11580" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-25T08:56:51.527" Score="1" ViewCount="433" Body="&lt;p&gt;In India, unfortunately, the English language is given a much higher preference over the native one. The people who speak English are &quot;looked up&quot; as compared to those who can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, on TV, I saw an advertisement of an English tuition class where it was shown that a 5th grader was grumbling at her mother (a housewife) saying that she had made her feel insulted in the school in front of her English speaking friend's parents (during parent teacher meet up) since she couldn't speak English (and was talking in Hindi) and everyone else present there could (and was talking in English). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was shown in advertisement that this incident made the mother think about taking English tuition classes to prevent her child from further embarrassments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What should a parent's reaction be in such cases?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2014-02-25T14:05:05.703" Title="How to deal with the child who is embrassed to see her parent in her school because the parent can't speak English?" Tags="|language|adult-child|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11580" CreationDate="2014-02-25T14:05:05.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any answer would only be an opinion, Learning English would be a good skill to have and would make it easier for her daughter on such occasions. But i don't see why it should make any difference, Speaking English does not make them any better than someone who cant speak English and her mother shouldn't have to learn another language just so her daughter will be more comfortable at parent teacher days. Every parent is embarrassing to there child at some point in there life, that's just how things are. Just my opinion, many will have different views.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6900" LastActivityDate="2014-02-25T14:05:05.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11582" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-25T22:17:28.807" Score="1" ViewCount="13354" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know you're not supposed to feed 6 month olds fresh strawberries. But, are cooked processed foods like strawberry flavor yogurt melts ok? What are the rules on introducing strawberries and strawberry flavored items?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T22:09:47.173" Title="Strawberry flavor yogurt melts for a 6 month old?" Tags="|solids|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11583" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-02-25T22:21:03.703" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-02-25T22:21:03.703" LastActivityDate="2014-02-25T22:21:03.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11584" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-02-25T22:21:03.703" Score="0" Body="Questions about solid foods (baby food and/or solid foods babies and younger toddlers eat)" OwnerUserId="1387" LastEditorUserId="1387" LastEditDate="2014-02-25T23:59:06.467" LastActivityDate="2014-02-25T23:59:06.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11582" CreationDate="2014-02-26T03:13:09.320" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my girl was a baby, berries were on the &quot;avoid&quot; list because at the time, there were fears that early exposure would lead to allergies.  More recent thought on the matter though, is that a lack of exposures might contribute to allergies so strawberries have actually been removed from the &quot;no no list&quot; and because they are so nutritious added back into the mix of wonderful foods baby can and should eat (with a few precautions).  You'll now find pre-made infant purees with apples and strawberry, blueberry, strawberry and pears, and I even saw one that was a food pouch with spinach, strawberries and rice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a family history of trouble with allergies, particularly to strawberries, or a family history of atopic dermatitis, you will want to consult the child's pediatrician about specific foods to use extra caution with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing you do need to be careful about berries with is their skins, as they &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; be a choking hazard so babies six months and up should be introduced to strawberries carefully and watchfully.  Make sure berries are pureed or only given in &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; small chunks.  Since you are asking about yogurt melts that is unlikely to be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since strawberries also contain a lot of acid (very high in vitamin C) they can also irritate a baby's sensitive and still young digestive system.  It &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; recommended that strawberries be later on the introduction list than rice, oats, and some of the extremely easy to digest foods (like pears and sweet potato).  It is also better to serve them with something else &lt;strong&gt;such as yogurt&lt;/strong&gt; or oatmeal (Most dairy &lt;strong&gt;should&lt;/strong&gt; be avoided until they are about a year old.  However, lactose is broken down in yogurt and some cheeses in the process of turning it into these other foods, so these can often be introduced sooner than one year making yogurt melts an especially easy snack for a baby).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything I've found online regarding avoiding strawberries for baby has dates from 2011 and earlier.  My information about allergies comes from the pediatrician of the infant I care for and I highly recommend you discuss your solid foods introduction order and methods with your child's pediatrician in order to get the most accurate and up-to-date information &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will find one comprehensive article about babies and all the details about introducing them to their first solids on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/baby-food-nutrition-9/starting-solid-food?page=4&quot;&gt;WebMD here&lt;/a&gt; and allergy information on the same site &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/allergies/tc/food-allergies-prevention&quot;&gt;WebMD here&lt;/a&gt;.  It has tidbits such as the following and is incredibly thorough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Each time you introduce a new solid food, wait about three days to see&#xA;  if it causes an allergic reaction. Don’t introduce anything new during&#xA;  that time; this way, if your baby develops hives, a rash, or a more&#xA;  serious reaction, you’ll know which food caused it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the yogurt melts themselves.  Gerber Graduates has a system for labeling foods in terms of baby &quot;readiness&quot; and the experts at Gerber have deemed this particular food as a good one for the &quot;crawler&quot; stage which is the third stage after introducing baby to solids.  If your baby has been eating solids for a couple of months already, chews food and is crawling than he/she is probably ready and able for this food.  However, it is definitely not a good starter food and comes in fairly large chunks - they are intended to help a baby begin to self feed so baby needs to have pincer grasp skills started in addition to be ready digestively.  Though the chunks melt in the baby's mouth, they really are intended for the slightly more experienced eater so if your baby has only just started on solid foods, you might want to wait just a bit longer.  Really, if you can keep things as fresh and unprocessed as possible for as long as possible, you are helping your baby have the best nutrition possible anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For all the information from Gerber, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.gerber.com/crawler&quot;&gt;check here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-26T03:18:51.587" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T03:18:51.587" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11587" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-26T03:32:04.460" Score="3" ViewCount="198" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 14 month old usually sits at the table to eat (in a booster seat). Last night she freaked out when we tried to put her in her seat for dinner. She tensed up and screamed and didn't stop even after we stopped trying to put her in her seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her tantrum was among the worst she's ever had; flailing, screaming, etc. Doing anything to calm her down seemed to make it worse (pick her up, put her down, give her a toy, etc.). We thought she may have hurt herself or something, but she calmed down and began to eat while sitting in my wife's lap, and was fine/normal the rest of the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It happened again today during lunch. As soon as we tried to put her in her chair, she freaked out. Not as bad, just screaming and not wanting anything (not held, no toys, etc.), and calmed herself down within 5 mins or so. We moved the chair to a different spot at the table and she sat there and ate lunch a little while later, but freaked out again at dinner time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried removing the booster seat, and that didn't seem to make a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whats the deal? What could the problem be and how should we respond?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6910" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T21:58:41.853" Title="What to do when 14mo suddenly hates sitting at the table?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11582" CreationDate="2014-02-26T03:58:21.150" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;@balanced mama's answer covers everything I was going say, but, I would add that any time you add a new food, you should aim for the purest form of the food. As in, it should be by itself, or, at least have very few other ingredients. Strawberry Yogurt melts typically have several ingredients, many of them processed, and so IF your baby has a reaction to it, how would you know if it was the strawberry, or, one of the other ten ingredients? Additionally, I don't even see 'strawberries' in any form specifically listed on the ingredient list (of the Gerber brand), which means the strawberry flavor comes from the 'natural flavors'- which, could be anything.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would stay away from processed, flavored, multi- ingredient foods at this stage and stick to whole, natural (real natural, not &quot;natural&quot; labeled), single or &lt;em&gt;maybe&lt;/em&gt; two-ingredient foods. That way, if something does happen, you can be sure of the real culprit.  If you've never read labels before, you should start now, at least for your child's foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last point- I suggest that you keep a diary or a journal of which foods you introduce, and watch for fussiness, gas, bouts of crying, etc. and record any of the above.  Unless the food causes a severe reaction, in which case you would avoid it altogether, wait a day or two to try it again, even if there was some unpleasantness the first time. Sometimes it's a coincidence, and other times it's just due to the fact that babies sometimes need to try a food more than once before they decide they like it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T03:58:21.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11589" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12204" CreationDate="2014-02-26T13:25:45.873" Score="1" ViewCount="1147" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have an almost 7-year-old son, a 4-year-old daughter and our oldest daughter is mentally 3 years old because of cerebral palsy. Almost every day we show a two-minute children's video to all three children, then ask a question about it.  The question is usually relatively simple as it involves recall of a fact, and does not require analysis or even comprehension.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday we ask our son the question, and he gives a completely irrelevant answer from a completely different part of the video.  We tell him that's incorrect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ask his little sister the exact same question.  Sometimes she knows, sometimes she doesn't know, and sometimes we suspect she pretends to not know because she finds it cute and fun.  However, she is four years old, so this is a learning experience for her, not something we expect her to already be able to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ask his big sister the exact same question.  Sometimes she surprises us by knowing.  This time she thinks it's a game to not know because of her siblings' responses.  I whisper the answer to her and she gives it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask the little sister the question again and she answers correctly this time, having heard her sister give the correct answer after I whispered it to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask our son the question again, who was quiet and looking directly at his sisters when they each gave the correct answer to the exact same question.  He gives the exact same off-the-wall answer he tried to give before!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know from previous experience that he will usually get stuck on that answer.  We can repeat the cycle a few more times and he will give the same answer, so now we just give up and try it again tomorrow.  We think he is so focused on trying to give the right answer that he is thinking about his best guess for it, and forgets to listen to what's going on around him, even though outwardly he appears to be paying close attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This happens two or three times per week, and what also has us concerned is that sometimes he may not really understand a correct answer he gives, but just got lucky at guessing which random phrase we will ask about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we tell when he is really paying attention and when he is just making lucky guesses or copying others, and how can we help him snap out of these inward cycles?  Is there a name for this kind of behavior that I can use to research it further?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-28T13:17:03.210" LastActivityDate="2019-03-28T13:17:03.210" Title="How to help a 7-year-old who is stuck on the wrong answer?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|teaching|homeschooling|attention|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11587" CreationDate="2014-02-26T13:26:38.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you've eliminated the possibility of pain from the seat, it could be she's showing you in a rather emphatic manner that she's ready for some control and some options.  Maybe try giving her a choice:  would you rather have the booster seat here, or put the booster seat over there?  Would you rather use your booster seat, or a cushion?  (Depending on seating options, ymmv.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on how structured you prefer dinner to be in your home, you could also allow her to sit with you for part of the meal, and then get down and graze a bit.  We did that with both of ours, but dinners are notoriously unstructured affairs at my house.  They'd eat the things that are better eaten sitting, and then could get up and carry around a cracker to graze on (or come back for a small bite and then go play some more).  If you prefer more structured dinners, though, this might not be optimal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, offering a binary choice (too many options and sometimes they don't want to choose at all, or are overwhelmed by the options) is a great way to redirect a tantrum and give a child some control over her environment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T13:26:38.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11591" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-26T13:32:16.983" Score="2" ViewCount="658" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question has the same background as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/11589/644&quot;&gt;Getting stuck on the wrong answer&lt;/a&gt;, but I thought it merited a separate question.  Our four year-old daughter quite frequently knows the answer, or could know if she paid better attention, but because of the way her siblings respond, she either thinks their response is normal or more fun, which causes her to not get as much out of the exercise as she could.  How can we help her be her own person and work to her potential instead of copying her siblings' abnormal behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-04-27T18:18:51.780" Title="How to help a child not copy her older sibling's behavior" Tags="|behavior|peer-pressure|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11589" CreationDate="2014-02-26T16:26:39.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The easy answer would be to suggest to show the video to each child separately without the others in the room to attempt to gauge their true level of understanding. From there you can then decide whether to continue do this exercise separately or together.  Without more details about your son's medical history, the second question is more difficult to answer.  It could mean he requires more specific cognitive training or a consult with his physician to explore options.  I've found in my experience with physicians, you need to be specific about the information you're looking for otherwise you just get general answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6913" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T16:26:39.323" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11591" CreationDate="2014-02-26T17:15:26.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why do you ask all of them the same question at the same time? That seems to naturally lead to a copying situation. If quizzing them is an important part of your teaching technique, I would suggest asking 3 different questions on the same video so that each child answers independently. Alternatively, ask a simple factual did-you-see-what-happened question to one child, and a more elaborate question to the next: &lt;em&gt;why? what might come next? what else could it be?&lt;/em&gt; Encourage them to cue or tip each other, too, so if someone can't remember what colour something was, the others can give clues or otherwise be helpful. If it's a co-operative effort, there's less pressure to be &quot;better than&quot; or &quot;as good at it&quot; compared to the siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T17:15:26.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11587" CreationDate="2014-02-26T21:51:51.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd consider the possibility that something happened emotionally (not in terms of 'a harmful experience' but just some change to her emotional makeup) that caused her to feel more in need of comfort in relation to meals.  My oldest son went through a stage not dissimilar to this at a similar age (a little older).  He stopped wanting to come to meals entirely and threw huge tantrums, and while some of it was certainly a desire to keep playing, some of it was not.  In particular, breakfast was hard, probably due to him not being very awake or very hungry first thing (like my wife).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we never really found the root cause, what did help was to treat it matter-of-factly, as if it was a legitimate problem, but one with a solution.  We gave him lots of love and hugs and such, but told him it was dinner time and he needed to eat.  Then we gave him some choices - what chair he wants to sit in, what bowl he wants to use, what spoon, etc.  Between the two, the issue mostly went away.  Now (2.5) he still complains about going to the dinner table, but clearly in the mild &quot;I want to keep playing&quot; style.  I still sometimes allow him to sit on my lap during meals, particularly during breakfast, if he's having a hard day, as it seems to help him eat better and feel better about eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T21:51:51.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11587" CreationDate="2014-02-26T21:53:12.430" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Valkyrie is so right about binary choices often being of help.  This is the answer I would go with &lt;strong&gt;after checking&lt;/strong&gt; on a few other possibilities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is possible she did get hurt by a pinch in the buckles of the booster seat (if it has a lap belt) on a different occasion and is remembering that moment of pain now.  Memory is a strange beast in small children and sometimes something that happened the day before will seem forgotten until a month or more later when suddenly the child remembers it as if it &lt;strong&gt;were&lt;/strong&gt; the day before.  She could also be associating the pain with both the booster seat and the position of the chair at the table and responding to these associations independently but inconsistently enough to make the matter extremely confusing for you.  I'd double check on how tight the straps are and ect.  Try to make things super comfortable for her and then entice her a little or distract her with some fun playing next time you go to put her in the seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also completely possible she is resenting the seat and how it impacts her mobility.  Many kids start really moving at around 14 months and resent anything that prevents them from practicing their new skill.  Mommy's lap is a nice enough place to over-look the matter there, but perhaps the booster seat is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; a nice enough place to cause her to want to over-look the lack of mobility when strapped in.  If you think this is a possibility, I'd make a deal with her.  Don't buckle the straps at first.  If she gets up, buckle the straps, not as a punishment but calmly and as &quot;a reminder that while we are eating, we stay in our seats.&quot; Start fresh without the buckles at every meal and be consistent that getting up means, &quot;I guess you still need the straps to remind you to stay in your seat.&quot; You really don't want her running around with food in her mouth.  Make sure she has a toy or two at the table she can engage with and know that it is a temporary developmental thing and that the distractions of toys and being engaged with you in some way while eating will help alleviate her desire to get out of her seat in the mean-time.  Try to keep the time she has to sit to a minimum.  At this age, about fifteen minutes max (unless she is happily eating) and then offer what she didn't eat as a &quot;snack&quot; again about half an hour later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is not strapped into her booster seat, both of these possiblities become irrelevant, in which case, as I said, I'd go with Valkyrie's suggestion.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="2876" LastEditDate="2014-02-26T21:58:41.853" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T21:58:41.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11582" CreationDate="2014-02-26T22:03:39.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only thing I'd add is that yogurt is great for kids, yogurt melts less so because they are usually very sweet.  Why are you wanting to give these?  If it's because they're good for teething, I'd say that is okay, although odds are you can come up with something better - plain crushed or smaller cube ice is excellent, for example, or any of several (chilled) fruits and vegetables, perhaps in a cheesecloth or similar &quot;fruit baggie&quot;.  If it's to get used to a certain texture, then that's okay also, as long as they are occasional after the first few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if it's as a common treat, I don't recommend it.  Sweets early on lead to 'sweet tooth' later in life - we were better with our first than our second, and it shows in their diets and preferences.  Yogurt melts are no better than a cupcake for an infant, and should be given as rarely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, for strawberries specifically, expect significant redness in the face.  As long as it's in areas likely covered by external strawberry, that's not a sign of allergy, just a sign of an acidic food irritating the skin in a harmless (and painless) way, as long as you wash it off afterwards.  Tomatoes are similar; I've yet to see a baby that doesn't get some redness around his/her face after eating a tomato.  However, if the redness/blotchiness occurs in further away areas, or gets worse over time (ie, 3rd time he/she eats, 4th time, etc., it is worse than before), it may be a sign of allergy (my oldest had/perhaps has a mild eggplant allergy, which we only noticed late because his forehead was getting red, which was certainly out of the splash zone).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-02-26T22:09:47.173" LastActivityDate="2014-02-26T22:09:47.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11492" CreationDate="2014-02-27T04:03:51.743" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even if I weren't concerned with what's on the TV, I'd worry about what a child is not doing while watching TV. There is a lot to do, a lot to learn, and a lot socialization a child needs to pick up. There are reading skills and writing, drawing and creative play a child needs, none of which happen in front of a TV. Computer games? Bah. Limited, scripted scenarios in most cases. Counting rolly-pollies and lady bugs in the yard is a better use of a child's time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T04:03:51.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11599" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11604" CreationDate="2014-02-27T07:04:28.927" Score="11" ViewCount="2797" Body="&lt;p&gt;Out of curiosity: At what age does one hand gain &quot;advantage&quot; over the other? When do motor skills start differentiating for arms?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-02-27T07:11:28.693" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T13:50:50.970" Title="When will we know if our child is left- or right-handed?" Tags="|motor-development|handedness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5909" CreationDate="2014-02-27T08:26:50.390" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 4 months old, your baby is simply experimenting with their voice and sounds and trying to make different vocalizations. This is not permanent so I wouldn't worry about correcting any behaviors. Maybe if you are talking about a 2 year old screeching, then some of the answers provided here are relevant. Otherwise for an infant, it's just another developmental milestone and I would just let them learn and explore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6916" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T08:26:50.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11601" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-27T09:42:07.373" Score="6" ViewCount="4801" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent but I have considered children for the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was having a conversation with my partner about adoption / birth. Let's say we were to (choosing my words carefully not wishing to offend anyone) adopt a child and have one we made? Assuming the adopted child was old enough to understand it was being adopted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which would be easier on the child? To already have one we made? Or to adopt, then have one we made? It's common for children to feel like they are not getting as much attention when a new baby comes and would that be worse for an adopted child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would like to know what people have to say, especially if anyone has any experience in this matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6917" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-22T17:44:46.393" LastActivityDate="2018-10-22T17:44:46.393" Title="Adopt before giving birth, or give birth before adopting?" Tags="|emotional-well-being|adoption|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10769" CreationDate="2014-02-27T10:08:47.943" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If his hair is kinda long or thick then this might be the problem. Or, some people just hate wet hair on specific spots of their head; I know this from experience.&#xA;Cut his hair short and try again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&#xA;I will talk from my personal view and feel so it might be rare issue.&#xA;The problem is that when the hair gets watered, it forms another volume and thickness, it's adding kinda of pressure to the scalp. Especialy when you put any object on top of the head, while the hair is wet, it is absolutely awfull feel.&#xA;I have specific spots right behind my ears, the skin there. When the hair is half-wet and it has only few hairsprings, that are touching the skin, this must not happend at all cost !&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, when you shower him, don't move alot his hair, try to wash the it without displacing his hair from the previous spots, before the bath. He had no problem with his hair in this way, so don't move it too much from it's original position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his bangs(fringe) is kinda long, move it backwards, like a gentleman's hairstyle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After bath, also try not to leave few hairsrpings touchig his hair, the allmost-dryed hairsrpings adds crazy feeling to the skin, I'm usualy very carefull but I have expirience and I do it fast, without much displacement of my hair. Then with the hairdryer is easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short:&#xA;In the shower try not to move his hair too much from the original position, especialy the area around the ears.&#xA;Move his bangs backwards.&#xA;Dont let your hand stay on the same head spot for more than half a second, it adds up weight to the hair and thus the feeling.&#xA;After bath, again try not to displace too much when trying with the towel, the half-wet hairsprings must not touch the ears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yeah xD&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6918" LastEditorUserId="6918" LastEditDate="2014-03-02T03:27:18.540" LastActivityDate="2014-03-02T03:27:18.540" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="443" CreationDate="2014-02-27T10:40:47.870" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is a very challenging and interesting problem.  If it were my 12-year-old special autistic child, I would try with salted water. Take a mouthful of water and demonstrate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6919" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-06-11T12:51:54.343" LastActivityDate="2019-06-11T12:51:54.343" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11599" CreationDate="2014-02-27T13:24:23.970" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I preschool teacher I had a couple of students that it was not clear at the beginning of their year as two-year-olds but who were decidedly &quot;handed&quot; by the time they were three.  However, most of my kids had established &quot;handedness&quot; before arriving in the &quot;two's&quot; classroom.  My guess is that for most it happens sometime in the latter half of the second year of life (or when they are one), but that it can take as long as until age three for some.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd imagine (but again, this is a bit of a guess based on anecdote) it takes a little longer for some kids with more &quot;flexibility&quot; in use or have handedness contrary to their main care taker.  Kids that are left-handed have been associated with cognitive differences more commonly than those with right-handedness (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2831280/&quot;&gt;See here&lt;/a&gt;) and a lot of those differences mean atypical development anyway.  (don't take this to mean left-handers are behind.  I honestly do mean &lt;strong&gt;different&lt;/strong&gt;  Many of the kids I had who were labeled as twice exceptional had a challenge &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; IQ's that put them in the genius category).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The real reason I guess this though is that both kids that didn't have an established hand when entering my class, had right-handed parents but turned out to be left-handers.  My father was ambidextrous, but grew up in Alaska before it was a state so teaching standards weren't regulated at all and he had a teacher that beat him every time she saw him pick up the pencil with his left hand (She thought she was beating the devil out of him).  Because he is a bit contrarian anyway.  The behavior of his teacher, made him practice more with his left hand. so his &quot;handedness&quot; as a lefty- was established when he was in second grade.  Before that he could right equally well with both hands, throws better with his right, but golfs and plays tennis better as a &quot;lefty.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-i-know-whether-my-baby-is-a-righty-or-a-lefty_6716.bc&quot;&gt;Baby center&lt;/a&gt; says this develops over time so signs may start showing up around 6-9 months but true handedness won't be concretely known for sure until the child is three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T13:24:23.970" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11599" CreationDate="2014-02-27T13:50:50.970" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Years ago I discussed this with someone who was doing neurological research around handedness. She told me they have all these categories for people: right handed for everything, left handed for everything, ambidextrous, right-handed left-footed, different hands for different tasks, and so on, but what her research showed time and again was there were really only two groups: firmly right handed, and everyone else. (This &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handedness_and_sexual_orientation&quot;&gt;Wikipedia article on sexuality and handedness&lt;/a&gt; is an example of work that only considers those two groups.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's more, she had this 20+ question questionnaire that she used to put people into the detailed categories, but she usually knew after just one question. If you ask a firmly right handed person what hand they use for something (brushing teeth, brushing hair, writing, using the mouse, ...) or what foot they step up or down a staircase with, they immediately know. They usually say &quot;right&quot; but even if they say &quot;left&quot; they know. And by and large the not-right-handed people have to think about it, or actually mime the activity and then report the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I think this means for young children is that if you are firmly right handed, by the age you are allowed to do things yourself (put food in your mouth, brush your teeth, swipe on a tablet or phone) you will have a preferred hand, probably the right, and if you were asked you would know what it was. But if you are one of &quot;the rest&quot; it will not be so clear. You may use different hands for different tasks or even subtasks - some letters are much easier to make with one hand than the other, for example - and may not understand a question like &quot;What hand do you hold your toothbrush in?&quot; To me that question is like &quot;what foot do you walk with?&quot; or &quot;what eye do you read with?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you observe that your child is willing to do things with either hand, all you need to do is refrain from telling them what hand to use. This is easy enough for toothbrushing, picking up Cheerios, and tablet swiping. You'll need the practice in case you also need to support ambidextrous or left handed baseball playing, crocheting, guitar playing etc. You can't make someone right handed who isn't (my mother had her left arm tied behind her back in convent school) and not imposing it on them won't make someone less firmly right handed than their brain wiring has done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T13:50:50.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11601" CreationDate="2014-02-27T14:12:37.887" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We adopted our middle child and his older and younger sisters are biological.  Out of the three, our son craves attention the most, by a factor of five.  We were told in our fostering and adoption classes that is fairly typical.  He doesn't remember the first year of his life when he didn't live with us, but it still subconsciously affects him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, sibling rivalry is likely to be worse for an adopted child, and since it's usually sparked by a change, always having an older sibling is likely to be less stressful than always being an only child then suddenly having a baby brother or sister.  Is it going to be a life-defining, insurmountable problem if you adopt first?  Probably not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you should examine your reasons why you want to adopt one and birth one.  We looked into adoption because of fertility issues, and my wife struggled with it feeling like she was &quot;giving up&quot; on getting pregnant.  It would be very painful to put off getting pregnant only to find out you are no longer able to, or never were able to.  These are very primal, instinctual emotions for a woman, and they need to be addressed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That may not show up until you are well into the adoption process, so what I usually tell people is to go into it expecting you might change your mind.  We looked into adoption for our first child, and decided partway through to do fertility treatments instead.  The agency told us that was very common and understandable.  Don't think you have to plan out your entire family before it starts.  Frankly, you don't have enough information about adoption, parenting, or even yourselves to make all those decisions now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T14:12:37.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11608" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-27T18:27:32.077" Score="9" ViewCount="1454" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has said many times that our son is so cute and adorable that she wants to gobble him up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do mothers sometimes feel an urge to bite (or tightly hug) their children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6294" LastEditorUserId="6294" LastEditDate="2014-02-28T19:50:42.683" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T21:11:14.617" Title="Why does my wife say our son is so cute that she wants to eat him?" Tags="|toddler|infant|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11610" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11612" CreationDate="2014-02-27T19:18:29.663" Score="4" ViewCount="641" Body="&lt;p&gt;A follow up question to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11599/when-will-we-know-if-our-child-is-left-or-right-handed&quot;&gt;When will we know if our child is left- or right-handed?&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is handedness predetermined genetically? Or is it something the baby somehow learns, or maybe it is a result of some kind of activities it does?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And can ambidexterity be learned or is it a quality one has to be born with?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T22:25:03.490" Title="Is handedness predetermined genetically?" Tags="|fine-motor-skills|motor-development|handedness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11610" CreationDate="2014-02-27T22:21:47.617" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Handedness is definitely an inherited thing.  My Dad taught me to write, to tie my shoelaces, and any of the sporty things I might do (like playing catch).  He is left-handed, I am not.  My handwriting was known for being atrocious when I was a kid and writing by hand was always very difficult for me until some right-handed teachers started to help.  My shoelaces still wind up tied upside down.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn24200-genes-linked-to-lefthandedness-identified.html#.Uw-6OF7rSWg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;There is a gene for left-handedness that has been discovered&lt;/a&gt; and links in with how people seem to use their brains/how their brains are wired (which relates to the next part of your question).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brain imaging has shown certain connections between certain emotions and functions in the brain and where the brain is &quot;on&quot; or firing while completing certain tasks of feeling a particular emotion.  While things are &lt;strong&gt;far more complex&lt;/strong&gt; than outlined in &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/08/070801-left-gene.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article by National Geographic&lt;/a&gt; on the matter, the article simplifies things to say that, for example, emotions are felt in the right side of the brain and speech and language are controlled by the left in right handers.  A left-hander's brain is reversed from the right-handed so the structure of the brain is definitely different.  How this all boils down to answering your question is, &lt;strong&gt;No left-handedness, or ambidexterity cannot be learned in the whole and purest sense of things&lt;/strong&gt;.  It isn't just about what hand you use for writing, but about the way the brain is wired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that: I injured my right hand badly when I was in college.  The skin over it got shredded and a a few ligaments were severed.  It was expected to heal, but I was told I would never be able to use it for fine-motor skills again and that I should learn to write, paint, etc. with my left hand.  This was before laptops were affordable and when only the wealthiest had them so I was stuck taking notes in class etc. to the best of my ability with my left hand (I also got a mini tape-recorder, but listening to the tapes over and over again to find a note was cumbersome).  I learned to write left-handed and I learned fast.  My left-handed writing was certainly as good as my right-handed writing had been in third or fourth grade.  I'm sure if I had continued writing with my left hand, it would have continued to improve further.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My hand has actually healed and I have much more complete use of it than expected&#xA;and as soon as I could hold a pencil with my right hand - even though it was painful, I went right back to using it instead of the left because it was easier.  I'd imagine any skill could be like that - if someone really wanted to be able to bat left-handed, with &lt;strong&gt;tons&lt;/strong&gt; of practice, they could probably learn even if they are right-handed.  They may not ever be quite as good left handed as right handed, but they could learn.  The question is, is it worth the time and effort?  In most cases, probably not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T22:21:47.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11610" CreationDate="2014-02-27T22:25:03.490" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, No, Both, and Debatable are all valid answers to the question.&#xA;I suggest reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handedness&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the Wikipedia article&lt;/a&gt; about handedness.  It goes through several different theories about what the primary reason for handedness is, and links several pieces of research for those theories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether handedness is genetic or not is debated and there isn't (as far as I know) any definite solid answer.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/266093.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Some research&lt;/a&gt; has shown that it might be related to a specific gene and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/267047.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;other research&lt;/a&gt; has shown that the link isn't there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Factors other than genetic could range from conditions pre-birth to early development after birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know of many people who were left handed, and due to social stigma against left handedness (much more common in the past) 'trained' themselves to use their right hand for everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother is ambidextrous, though due to his early schooling he made a strong shift to using is right hand for most tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other people I know were right handed but taught themselves to use their left hand to write, throw, or bat (in baseball, a left handed pitcher and hitter can give a distinct advantage).  That said, I would not consider these people to be ambidextrous, but rather to have become competent at certain specific tasks with their left hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, someone who strongly desired to use both their right and left hand to perform competently at most tasks could probably train themselves to do so.  Most likely, they would perform &lt;strong&gt;better&lt;/strong&gt; using their dominant hand, but can perform competently with their off-hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6535" LastActivityDate="2014-02-27T22:25:03.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2014-02-28T00:40:27.970" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We struggled through a good half dozen haircuts with our son on our own. We always had to stop early* when he cried too much for us to bear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His most recent haircut (21 months) was by far the best yet. We actually used a Flowbee (yes, the as seen on tv product from the '90s!) He sat in front of the tv, we cut his hair with the Flowbee, and the vacuum took care of the trimmings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those unfamiliar, it's a shaver attachment that connects to a vacuum cleaner. It has various tubes that keeps the cutting blades a certain distance away from the scalp. The vacuum sucks the hair straight and into the blade, gobbling up all the cut hair as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally no more cries of &lt;em&gt;&quot;eyes itchy!&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Flowbee is more expensive than we expected. It was about $130 on Amazon. But I'll probably get my own haircuts with it too, so it'll save money in the long run. And hundreds of reviews gave it 4.5 stars!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest complaint we have is how &lt;strong&gt;loud&lt;/strong&gt; the bugger is. We had to do a lot of coaxing to ease him into the thing. Letting him flip the switch to turn it on helped. We also never got too close to the ears, due to the volume. But it's definitely a lot louder than we anticipated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; having given him his second haircut with it, we tried a few solutions to the noise:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Headphones help with masking the sound, but don't block enough to make it much less scary&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Earplugs didn't seem very effective, and seemed to be uncomfortable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The best solution turned out to be my wife plugging his ears while I cut. The human touch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;* I had to try really hard not to use the pun &quot;cut it short&quot; here&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6927" LastEditorUserId="6927" LastEditDate="2014-03-29T17:44:04.213" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T17:44:04.213" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11608" CreationDate="2014-02-28T07:00:28.490" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's just a phrase used to stress how much she loves her! She's not going to do her any harm:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sometimes have a tiny urge to bite my LO's ear when she's on my arms being cute and sweet. I never do it though. So perhaps there is something literal to this phrase, as we tend to kiss and hug and cuddle with our kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The topic's been mentioned here and there on the Internet, see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.collegenet.com/elect/app/app?service=external/Forum&amp;amp;sp=48323#338821&quot;&gt;this forum discussion&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/26452-why-we-go-crazy-for-cuteness.html&quot;&gt;this study report&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-02-28T07:00:28.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1801" CreationDate="2014-02-28T10:16:24.723" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are safety gates that can be rolled up. A quick search revealed that Lascal&lt;sup&gt;&amp;Dagger;&lt;/sup&gt; makes one, perhaps other companies do too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A gate like that could be mounted in spaces where no other safety gate may fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;&amp;Dagger; It's called the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lascal.net/products/kiddyguard&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;KiddyGuard&amp;reg;&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2014-02-28T10:16:24.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11616" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-02-28T13:56:21.097" Score="4" ViewCount="175" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5-year-old seems to be relatively indifferent to our dog. I want him to learn to care for him and help him learn empathy and respect through having a dog. Any thoughts on tactics I can use to help the process?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6931" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-10T12:04:58.273" LastActivityDate="2019-04-10T12:04:58.273" Title="How can I help my 2.5-year-old better love his dog?" Tags="|toddler|pets|animal-interaction|empathy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11616" CreationDate="2014-02-28T15:16:03.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking as a parent with a dog, three cats, some fish and snails, and a 5-yr-old and a 34-month-old, time will be your best friend here.  For our kids, we focus more on treating the animals gently (no chasing the cats, no pulling the dog's ears, remember the pet is a living creature, etc) and less on caring for the pets.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best bet is to model the behavior you want to see.  As your son sees you petting the dog, and interacting with him, and training him, he will see that this loving, gentle behavior is the default for how to treat pets in your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As ours have grown, they are showing more empathy and interest in caring for the pets, but it's a slow process.  The younger child wants to help feed the dog, but that's because he loves scooping the food.  He rarely pets any of the animals, and we usually just focus on making sure he's gentle when he does approach them.  The older child completely ignored the pets until about a year ago, and now has decided the cats rock and the dog is not a pest but someone to snuggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-02-28T15:16:03.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11618" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11619" CreationDate="2014-02-28T15:54:13.057" Score="10" ViewCount="35454" Body="&lt;p&gt;A co-worker of mine is pregnant, and was commenting that she was going to be visiting a friend of hers that smokes &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electronic_cigarette&quot;&gt;e-cigarettes&lt;/a&gt;&quot; (sometimes known as &quot;vaping&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was concerned that her friend might not consider it to be the same thing as &quot;regular smoking&quot;, and therefore she might have to have a potentially awkward conversation about not &quot;vaping&quot; around her while she was pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a couple of people who are really into the whole e-cigarette thing as a &quot;safe alternative to smoking&quot;.  Some of them really believe that it is not only 100% safe, but that it generates nothing that anyone else would have cause to complain about (one person went so far as to try and convince her supervisors at work that it wouldn't be against policy for her to use it &lt;em&gt;in&lt;/em&gt; the office).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there evidence are data that can be cited as sufficient cause for a pregnant woman to request that e-cigarettes not be used around her (aside from the obvious of it simply being courteous to agree to a request like that)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-12-28T18:45:29.850" Title="Is it safe for a pregnant woman to be around someone smoking &quot;e-cigarettes&quot;?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11618" CreationDate="2014-02-28T17:30:54.313" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;We don't know it's safe. Hence, &lt;strong&gt;it's not safe&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I know &lt;strong&gt;there is no conclusive and trustworthy research which determines whether e-cigarettes are safe or not&lt;/strong&gt;. E-cigarettes are quite new and there is relatively few people using them. I daresay no research in the upcoming ten years will have statistically significant results, the time span is simply too short. Even if there were some research which claimed one way or another, I would disbelieve it. The only conclusion, as of right now, is that e-smoking &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what should we do? I would not hesitate to &lt;strong&gt;ask someone to stop e-smoking near my wife if she was pregnant, just as I would do with normal cigarettes&lt;/strong&gt;. Moreover, I would consider it bad manners to e-smoke without permission of the person one is with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check your country's laws - it is possible that e-smoking is already regulated. In Poland e-smoking is banned from public transport and public places just as old-fashioned cigarettes. It is not as strictly enforced though, probably simply because we don't know if e-cigarettes are safe or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, a small amount of e-smoke won't probably hurt. Even with cigarettes we're dealing with relatively small probabilities. So don't panic if your pregnant wife has been exposed to e-smoke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum up, don't take any chances. Next time, ask the person to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-11-06T18:24:48.913" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T18:24:48.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11601" CreationDate="2014-02-28T18:23:18.710" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have personal experience as a parent of an adopted child, and I am not an adopted child, but, one of my best friends is adopted, and I feel as though sharing her situation/circumstances will give you the perspective that you are looking for.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was adopted by her parents when she was 4, and does have some memory of her life (with her mother) before she was adopted. She became a big sister to a brother when she was 6, and LOVED her brother. They were always very close.  Her parents truly felt as though she was &lt;em&gt;theirs&lt;/em&gt;, no matter how that came to pass, and felt there was no difference between their children, and so the issue of the siblings not being biologically related was not discussed.  My friend and her parents didn't maliciously or even purposely keep the fact that she was adopted a secret from her brother, it was just not relevant, they felt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, when my friend was in her 20's, her biological father, who she had NEVER known, contacted her and wanted to establish a relationship.  She agreed, with her parent's blessing, and embarked on an emotionally difficult path where she eventually discovered the circumstances that led to her birth, and ultimately to her adoption.  She discovered she had three other siblings, two half brothers on her dad's side and a half sister on her mom's side.  It was difficult for her, understandably, but she got counseling, and did the best she could.  However. Her brother, with whom she was raised, was totally blindsided by this.  Not only was it very difficult for him to deal with the fact that he had been &quot;lied to&quot; by his family, he also felt left out once my friend began developing relationships with her newly discovered families (bio mom and dad were not married to each other-she was the product of an affair between married people.)  Ultimately, she gained three new siblings, but lost her brother.  Her brother is also  estranged from his parents now too.  Ten years later, things are finally starting to get better for my friend and her family (immediate family, we'll say).  But her biggest regret, and her parents', is not discussing the impact her decision to explore her past would have on her then teenage brother.  Her parents had mentally prepared HER for the difficulty, but never thought how it would affect him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess the moral of this story is that whatever you choose to do-adopt first or second- the important thing is to be honest with yourself and with your children, and be prepared to navigate through some difficult waters.  I hope that sharing this experience helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-28T18:23:18.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2014-02-28T20:48:31.967" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always sucked it up and paid for the expensive child salon with my first child, but when two and three came along there was no way I was dropping $65 every six weeks for crappy haircuts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am by no means a barber, but I manage to give my boys reasonably decent looking cuts. It's nothing fancy, but it's off their ears, and out of their eyes.  My kids are 3 1/2 and 2, and have been cutting their hair since they were about 16 months old. I have learned to cut a moving target. I minimize the movement by confining both of us in the tub, with the doors shut. The boy sits on a step stool and holds my iPhone to watch a video. In order to avoid injury, I sharpened a pair of children's scissors-the kind with the rounded tip- so that nobody gets poked. I focus on the most important areas (bangs, sideburns, over the ears, and the back) first, that way if worse comes to worse and the boy won't sit, we can go a few more weeks and try again.  Clean up is easy in the tub. I use a vacuum to suck up most of the hairs, then I remove the stool and phone, and turn on the shower to rinse the hairs off the boy and the tub. All done!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids hair is too coarse for the clippers, and all three of them are terrified of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-02-28T20:48:31.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11624" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-01T15:58:59.570" Score="6" ViewCount="2356" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question was inspired by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/11618/2876&quot;&gt;a question about pregnancy and exposure to the second hand products of the smoking device known as e cigarettes&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child has a &quot;friend&quot; we work with at the theater that is a teenager (17) who has taken up smoking e-cigarettes.  He does it because he considers them safe, he can practice blowing smoke rings (like Gandalf) and its the &quot;latest and greatest&quot; in being cool and new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His mom cares, but figures the boy is too old to be able to make an issue of it since he is almost officially an adult, but he does live with her still.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, while it isn't currently an &quot;issue&quot; for my household, I am curious what others would do.  What persuasive information is there one way or the other that could be used with a teen and would it be wise to &quot;lay down the law&quot; about something like this in such a case as this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2018-07-15T22:42:28.213" Title="What should one do when their teen thinks smoking e-cigarettes is cool and safe?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|teen|adult-child|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11625" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-01T16:14:15.797" Score="5" ViewCount="289" Body="&lt;p&gt;So I have never been one of those women that gets super dramatic or excited about seeing people (except for when my brother came home from the Gulf War).  If I see the person regularly, I'm glad to see them but feel no urge to go running and screaming into a hug with excitement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; one of those girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, it isn't &lt;strong&gt;just&lt;/strong&gt; the running and hugging thing - its just that this is the best, clearest, easiest example to offer in regard to beginning to pose my question.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also loves going to the bathroom in a crowd and has to gather a few friends to go with her when in a public place (in addition to myself or another trusted adult), basically she is a &quot;girls, girl&quot; in this regard.  She's totally into wanting to wear makeup (I still only wear it when I must for a job, an interview . . . )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, it makes me completely batty mostly because I don't understand the value in it.  As the adult, of course I'm able to see that she experiences value in it (as do many girls), but the squealing is over the top and unnecessary, the crowd to the bathroom is typical, but makes the whole process take twice as long. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm fine and all, but I know it is a common problem between parents and their kids just like &quot;mood matching&quot; can be a problem for a married or otherwise committed-and-living-together couple.  So how does one make sure the mis-matched dispositions don't create strife where there needn't be any.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-03-01T19:46:41.150" Title="How does a parent cope with an opposing disposition to his/her own?" Tags="|behavior|social-development|relationships|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11626" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11624" CreationDate="2014-03-01T19:02:26.503" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Contrary to what your kid's friend says, e-cigarettes are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; safe. You are still inhaling nicotine, meaning that you are still susceptible to many of the adverse effects of regular cigarettes, i.e., addiction, cardiovascular problems, increased risk of cancer, increased risk of birth defects if you use them while pregnant, and so on. In fact, liquid nicotine, the active component of e-cigarettes, has been historically used as poison in assassinations: if you coat the blade of a small knife in liquid nicotine, even a small cut can be lethal, as a mere 60mg (about .002 ounces, about the amount you can fit in a couple of drops) are enough to kill an average human being. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, 17 year-old kids think they are invincible, but it won't hurt to make sure your kid knows about this. If your kid is male, you can also drop the fact that nicotine is known to cause erectile disfunction. I don't know if this still true, but when I was 17, impotence was &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; more worrying than other, actually more serious health problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wong HP, Yu L, Lam EK, Tai EK, Wu WK, Cho CH (June 2007). &quot;Nicotine promotes colon tumor growth and angiogenesis through beta-adrenergic activation&quot;. Toxicol. Sci. 97 (2): 279–87 – Koldito Mar 12 '14 at 8:32&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Natori T, Sata M, Washida M, Hirata Y, Nagai R, Makuuchi M (October 2003). &quot;Nicotine enhances neovascularization and promotes tumor growth&quot;. Mol. Cells 16 (2): 143–6. – Koldito Mar 12 '14 at 8:33&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Davis R, Rizwani W, Banerjee S, et al. (2009). &quot;Nicotine promotes tumor growth and metastasis in mouse models of lung cancer&quot;. In Pao, William. PLoS ONE 4 (10): e7524. And many more like these – Koldito Mar 12 '14 at 8:35&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6861" LastEditorUserId="7312" LastEditDate="2018-07-15T22:42:28.213" LastActivityDate="2018-07-15T22:42:28.213" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11625" CreationDate="2014-03-01T19:46:41.150" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It has been pointed out to me that I am possibly the most laid back parent ever, so this guidance may not work for you, but my take on it is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone is different. If your daughter is happy being a 'girly girl' then I can't imagine there is anything wrong with that. Let her enjoy that aspect of her personality. It's not like it will impact you or others. She may well change as she gets older, or she may not (I have colleagues in both camps so who knows)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is that she is happy and well balanced - giggling/squealing etc are pretty irrelevant in the bigger picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-03-01T19:46:41.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11628" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-02T00:24:11.697" Score="1" ViewCount="358" Body="&lt;p&gt;In what ways can we encourage musical aptitude in a two-year old? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastActivityDate="2014-03-02T16:10:38.997" Title="How do we encourage musical aptitude in a two-year old?" Tags="|toddler|music|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2014-03-03T05:44:30.090" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11629" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-02T07:20:05.477" Score="5" ViewCount="4398" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are currently in the US (California) and my son is soon going to turn three. He's somewhat grasping the idea of getting older, and I also think he's old enough to really enjoy having a party. We're planning on inviting some friends with small kids (6 in total, 7 months - 4 years old) to our place. Birthday practices vary widely across the globe and we are new to this continent, so I'd like to have some idea of what is typical here. Just imagine you received an invitation to a three-year-old's birthday party and you have to make a best guess at what time of day it will start, how long it will last, what activities are going to take place...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, I'd like to know the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there a time of day that is most typical of birthday parties for this age? For us 11 AM works best (the little guy has a long nap after lunch) but I'm thinking this might be strange. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should we put an ending time for the party in the invitation? This is not an issue if people typically arrive around the invited beginning time, but maybe they don't? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How long does a typical birthday party last?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is store-bought cake considered OK for such young kids? Or should we be looking for something special? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What sort of drinks are normally served? For the kids as well as adults.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do guests get something from us? (e.g. a bag with a small toy per kid)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I know that candles and a birthday song are customary. Anything else? Hats?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it understood that we will have a plan for entertaining the kids, or is free play more standard? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do presents get opened in front of everybody? Do they get opened all at once? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any other detail you might think of.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just for clarity, we're not trying to mimic the all-American party, I just want to avoid big surprises :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edit: Maybe I should note that in my country of origin a (1st) birthday involves bbq, alcohol and cigarette smoke in a restaurant, and opening presents - which are mostly envelopes with money - when everyone has left. Later birthdays involve cooking a feast. I know not to do something similar here, but I'm still wary of making really big blunders and was hoping to get some quick advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2014-03-02T20:51:06.737" LastActivityDate="2014-03-03T05:35:24.033" Title="what's typical for birthday parties in the USA?" Tags="|birthday|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11628" CreationDate="2014-03-02T09:43:34.110" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know whether you can encourage aptitude, as this is built in, but you can encourage interest. Here are some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy the child a couple of different instruments. Have no expectations, except for noise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play &quot;band&quot; with your child, where you play along with her in a little band, ideally guided by her. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage the child to sing and sing songs with her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play music in the house.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to your child about music, pointing out things of interest in songs etc, and emotions they invoke. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask her questions about music. Simple ones, such as &quot;Do you like this song? Do you like the sound of this instrument? What instrument is that playing?&quot; etc. Also, pretend that you don't know – &quot;Is that a drum?&quot; &quot;No mum, that's a trumpet.&quot; This will allow her to feel some accomplishment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Naturally, a 2 year old is not going to grasp the complexity of something like music, but creating awareness, interest, and enjoyment are the first steps to something greater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2014-03-02T09:54:27.030" LastActivityDate="2014-03-02T09:54:27.030" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11631" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-02T10:12:09.530" Score="5" ViewCount="2586" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 20 months old. She recently decided she didn't want to sit down in the bath anymore. We have no idea what triggered it, and she still loves baths and gets excited by the prospect of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll happily kneel so her bum is in the water but refuses to sit. Does anyone have any ideas how to encourage sitting? We've tried a bath pillow and bath mat as a cushion. Tried making the bath a bit different using bubbles (which she was terrified of). If we try to put her into the sitting position she just screams &quot;out, out out&quot; and tries climbing out the bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's often kneeling for so long that when she eventually stands up she bursts into tears - we assume because her knees are sore from kneeling on the hard surface / pins and needles or the like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6939" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-23T14:29:46.217" LastActivityDate="2018-10-23T14:29:46.217" Title="How to make our 20-month-old sit in the bath instead of kneeling?" Tags="|toddler|bathing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11632" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-02T15:25:33.770" Score="3" ViewCount="109" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I put my 5 month old son to sleep, I turn on the white noise player and give him a security blankie with a teddy bear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is playing with the teddy bear and / or sucking it and falling asleep 10-15-20 minutes later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm happy with it, but I'm wondering if I'm creating a bad habit. Maybe later when he becomes more mobile it may become difficult for him to fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6877" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-03-03T13:37:27.613" LastActivityDate="2014-03-03T13:37:27.613" Title="Can I let my 5 month old fall asleep after playing in his crib?" Tags="|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11628" CreationDate="2014-03-02T16:10:38.997" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sing to her. If you play an instrument, play to her. Play &quot;follow the leader&quot; with rhythms on the coffee table. Nothing you &lt;strong&gt;do with her&lt;/strong&gt; will is ever wasted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she's older, say five, consider piano lessons. My daughters did well in a music class setting, where they met once a week with the same group of kids. The social aspect seemed to help more than private lessons, but your mileage may vary. Piano is a great place to start, because it tries in so well to reading music and music theory as they grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-03-02T16:10:38.997" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11631" CreationDate="2014-03-02T20:05:35.910" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been showering (rather than bathing) our daughter since she was about 24 months. If she wants to stand, let her stand, as long as you can get her properly clean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is that I can't think of any particular reason to make her sit in the name of hygiene. Perhaps for safety, if she doesn't stand steadily on her own, but then I am usually holding her hand or shoulder so I can clean her properly anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, on the off-chance that this may be some attention seeking behaviour (not necessarily the case, but not exactly unlikely), I gerneally find that ignoring it works best. This leads us to the same conclusion though, let her stand if she wants to, and use the shower head to get her nice and clean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2014-03-02T20:05:35.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11629" CreationDate="2014-03-02T23:59:11.153" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One rule of thumb I've heard is &quot;No more guests than their age.&quot; That would mean three friends plus him. Of course, that would be assuming it's a &lt;strong&gt;kid&lt;/strong&gt; party. After all, how many kids can a four year old actually play with at the same time? To much action, noise, etc., and the party-with-little-buddies gets lost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's a &quot;family&quot; celebration with aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, neighbors, etc., all celebrating the family milestone, that's different but also worthy event. Still, you might try to set aside some space and time for the little guy and his best buddies from preschool, away from the crowd of olders and youngers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What happens at an birthday party depends on lots of things, including your wealth, the wealth of your guests, what's become &quot;traditional&quot; in your neighborhood. Asking other parents might give you a few ideas, as will their parties when you take your son to them. Seems that cake and a party bag of worthless choking hazards from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.partycity.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Party City&lt;/a&gt; (blech) for each guest was common when my kids were younger. I've seen present opening in front of the crowd and after the crowd leaves. I prefer the second method, as I hate to see a friend feel shamed when the gift they could afford was far smaller than others'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Later birthdays involve cooking a feast. I know not to do something similar here . . .&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really? I don't know why you wouldn't want to do something similar if it's a larger family-and-neighbors celebration rather than a party just for the kids. Doesn't sound strange to me, and I don't see why your kid should grow up and leave his heritage behind. Toning down the alcohol and cigarettes would be a concession to American tastes, bit otherwise, host your own party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-03-02T23:59:11.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11631" CreationDate="2014-03-03T00:50:07.053" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found that my 2 year old won't sit when he has gas or has recently had a diaper rash-even a mild one.   He doesn't like the way the bubbles feel (in the case of gas). I think it's obvious that it hurts to sit with a diaper rash.  Since he gets diaper rash pretty frequently (he has super sensitive skin) and we have a &quot;sit or get out&quot; rule, we have to sometimes get him to lay in the tub (with less than the usual amount of water). He won't kneel, otherwise we'd do that. My kid is already swimming, though, so I feel comfortable letting him &quot; practice&quot; floating on his back (a huge milestone for little swimmers, by the way).  Perhaps this is not the case with your daughter, in which case this solution might not work for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thought to consider is your daughter's build. I remember when I was little being very thin, and not being comfortable sitting on my rear- anywhere. Even with a cushion. I always sat on my feet, my hands, or knelt. If this is the case with your girl, there's nothing you can do, except encourage her to change positions periodically until she learns to do it automatically on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-03-03T00:50:07.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3834" CreationDate="2014-03-03T02:25:31.220" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Safety first. What she is doing is as unsafe as, say, changing into her pjs at night in front of an open window with the lights on. She can attract attention from the wrong people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I run my own mail server. I set up my daughters' email addresses when&#xA;I thought they were ready to have them. I had every email forwarded&#xA;to my email.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I blocked Facebook and all social media for them until they were old&#xA;enough to have an account. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.opendns.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;OpenDNS.com&lt;/a&gt; is great for this.&#xA;Entering ninth grade is when I felt they were old enough. They had to&#xA;friend me on Facebook.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All our computers run Linux, so when I set theirs up, I made sure&#xA;their user accounts did not allow them to change system settings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was very open with them about what they could do, why, and what information would come to me. I quit forwarding their email pretty quickly. I really wanted to teach safety, not snoop. I've never checked their browser history. Perhaps I should have, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.opendns.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;opendns&lt;/a&gt; filters out what I don't want them to see and blocks what I want blocked. Sure, they could always cheat at a friend's house, but their opportunities to do so are limited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-03-03T02:25:31.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11629" CreationDate="2014-03-03T03:59:54.650" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;All &quot;keeping up with the Joneses&quot; considerations aside, it really depends on your individual children.  My daughter would be thrilled with her two friends from church playing princesses, and more than that would overwhelm her.  My son could have a superbowl-sized event just for him and still ask for more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make it a nice event for your child, and don't try to impress other parents.  There's nothing worse than spending a bunch of money only for your child to be overwhelmed or shy or ungrateful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chances are the time that works best for your child will work best for other kids his age.  Same for duration.  You know how long he can go without winding himself into a death spiral of hyperness.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as food and decorations, just do what you can afford comfortably.  The only cake I remember from when I was a child was a homemade superman cake.  It doesn't have to be custom professional or store bought, unless that's easier for you.  The important thing to me was it fit my interests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For opening presents, it depends on how gracious your son is able to be.  If he has a hard time showing gratitude, or a hard time sharing, you might want to open presents after the guests leave.  Make sure to send thank you notes in those cases, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Entertainment again is what you can afford.  It's almost a cliche to hire a professional entertainer like a clown that the kids end up hating.  Some of the most memorable parties have a simple theme that the kids can mostly play for themselves.  My mom made simple capes for the guests of that Superman party, which I'm sure was time-consuming, but not elaborate.  That's the party I still remember, not the ones where I got a goody bag of toys that lasted a day.  For another example, my nephew had a &quot;pirates and princesses&quot; theme, where the girls got cheap tiaras and the boys got bandanas and wooden swords, and they had a few running-around games related to the theme.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, don't worry about doing what everyone else does.  If you make a party you and your son will enjoy, that enthusiasm will spread to the guests.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-03-03T03:59:54.650" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11629" CreationDate="2014-03-03T05:35:24.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Southern California is a bit of a different beast entirely to the other two states I have lived in as well as to where my sister lives and her experience now as a parent.  While the other advice already offered is generally great advice I will add these two items which I have found to apply specifically to California (particularly if the party isn't just your very closest friends):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bounce house seems standard and depending upon how far south you are, and your circle of friends a pinata might also be fairly standard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't put a time the party ends on the invitation, people will come &lt;strong&gt;very late&lt;/strong&gt; and stay Way past the standard two-three hour party I experienced in other parts of the country (frankly, sometimes this will happen even if you &lt;strong&gt;do&lt;/strong&gt; put an ending time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Having Said That&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;We have successfully never done what the &quot;traditional standards&quot; for Cali are, and thrown what many have later communicated to be the &quot;best&quot; parties because they are creative and unique.  &lt;strong&gt;So&lt;/strong&gt; if you do something that works for you and that your child will enjoy, it might take a few people by surprise at first, but if your party is thoughtfully planned, that thoughtfulness will come through and your guests will appreciate it.  I suggest for this age group something that encourages play that can be fairly free and mobile (a bounce house does this simply because they can come and go from it as they please but it isn't the same thing they have access to all teh time and every day (Which is probably why it is so popular).  Maybe a couple of play &quot;stations&quot; or games but don't be too organized about it - three year old kids really just want to run around together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding timing the party.  I really do recommend against trying to squeeze it in before nap time.  Nap is likely to be difficult no matter how you slice it for a party honoree of this age.  Trying to have the nap after the festivities will be difficult because there are likely to be straggle guests anyway.  I'd plan on some &quot;quiet time&quot; a little earlier than when nap usually happens and hope he sleeps, and then also plan on an earlier-than-usual bedtime.  But then, I have a kid that has always been able to push through even when she was tired  and not get too grumpy (except in the area of homework and chores - but you aren't there yet anyway wink, wink) so that advice may not apply if you have a child (like the one I babysit and love very much) that is monster when tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-03-03T05:35:24.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11632" CreationDate="2014-03-03T11:21:35.857" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having a comfort object that helps fall asleep is not a bad thing for a child.  While it's certainly possible that he/she will play with that object more as he/she grows, for most children that's not a huge problem; in fact, the ability to quietly play while going to sleep is very helpful, as it helps the child calm down sufficiently to fall asleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first never really learned to fall asleep with anything, and still has problems calming himself down at sleep time (almost 3 now).  My second (almost 1) did learn to sleep with a blankie/teddie and will calm himself down most of the time without difficulty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-03T11:21:35.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11644" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-03T19:49:44.363" Score="7" ViewCount="1848" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you had a choice to stay with your single baby at home as long as you want to, would you still send him to a daycare to communicate with other babies? What age is recommended for starting a daycare, partial time / full time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would put a baby in daycare at 12 months. But many people think that it's too early..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6877" LastEditorUserId="6877" LastEditDate="2016-09-23T13:41:04.433" LastActivityDate="2016-09-23T13:41:04.433" Title="best age to start a daycare" Tags="|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11644" CreationDate="2014-03-03T21:01:43.897" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a big question with a lot of opinions . . . the current push for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/preschool-is-important-but-its-more-important-for-poor-children/2014/02/09/79ff4ab4-8e96-11e3-b227-12a45d109e03_story.html&quot;&gt;&quot;High Quality Preschool&quot;&lt;/a&gt; vs. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wallstreetdaily.com/2013/06/18/homeschooling/&quot;&gt;homeschooling&lt;/a&gt; and everything in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I both have multiple degrees in different fields, but we didn't feel qualified to teach our kids everything they need to know. I feel the same about anyone who home schools. I wouldn't push that decision on you, do what you think best for your kids, but that's where I come from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I think a kid who will be attending a traditional elementary school would be at a disadvantage compared to a kid who went to preschool. It's not any academic skills I'd worry about, it's the social aspects . . . taking turns, sharing supplies, cleaning up after yourself, going to the bathroom at the right time. All those skills that make the academic life in a classroom smother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about daycare (unless you need it to work) until they're preschool age, but a year of half-day preschool is a definite plus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-03-03T21:01:43.897" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11648" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-03T23:55:03.667" Score="12" ViewCount="88456" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to be sure that I am giving my son the best experience that I can at this critically developmental stage.  He was with a sitter for the first 14 months, who did not stimulate him much past tv.  He only knows 3 words and I want to do the best that I can now that I am home taking care of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6949" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-03-04T12:53:54.433" LastActivityDate="2017-02-01T02:24:14.153" Title="What should I be teaching my 18 month old?" Tags="|toddler|teaching|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11649" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-04T00:51:17.147" Score="3" ViewCount="3144" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for a video monitor for an infant. If possible, I want to have multiple receivers for one camera, so it isn't necessary to carry the receiver around everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summer Infant offers the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.summerinfant.com/babytouchwifi&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Touch Wifi&lt;/a&gt;; it comes with a receiver, but the camera can also be viewed on an iOS device using the &lt;a href=&quot;https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/summer-link/id732316361?mt=8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SummerLink app&lt;/a&gt;. This solution is not acceptable to me because I find the app unusably bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summer Infant also makes the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.summerinfant.com/dualcoverage&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dual Coverage&lt;/a&gt;, which is the only dual-receiver video monitor I have seen. Given my unsatisfying prior experience with another of Summer's products (and many hours of experience with their customer service), I am hesitant to try this monitor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any other video baby monitors that can be used with multiple receivers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6950" LastActivityDate="2019-10-25T03:21:05.960" Title="Any video baby monitors with multiple receivers?" Tags="|infant|newborn|gadgets|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11648" CreationDate="2014-03-04T02:15:32.757" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;18 months isn't an age to be worried about &quot;teaching&quot; so much; it's an age to be giving interesting experiences and allowing him to grow into his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take him outside, let him play on the playground regularly.  Take him out to see other kids.  Talk to other adults around him, so he can learn words from you.  Keep the TV off - entirely if necessary.  Read to him, interact with him, give him plenty of attention - the rest will come.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll pick up language best by listening to people talk to him and around him, most likely (although consult your pediatrician if you're concerned about the language side of things; 3 words at 18 months is certainly on the late side, and while I'd say it's not worrisome, I'm also not a pediatrician nor do I have experience with your child).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-04T02:15:32.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11644" CreationDate="2014-03-04T02:36:46.927" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We put our first in at 8 weeks and our second in at 6 weeks (in a preschool-quality daycare).  For our first, I think he would've been better off at home - and 2 years later, he's going to get that (my wife is staying at home with them now).  He'll go to part-day preschool in a year or two, but mostly will be with mommy.  He's very independent, and even in a large daycare didn't really do much with the other kids - he played wherever he wanted, and the other kids either joined or didn't, but he didn't care much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our second, about a year old when we took him out of daycare, probably would've been better staying.  He is much  more social, and even at 8-10 months was playing with other kids more than his older brother was at the same time.  He certainly did fine at 6 weeks old and still has a strong bond with his parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect in the end it doesn't make a big difference; a good daycare versus a well-organized parent will provide different experiences and different benefits, and one might be better for a particular child, but you can't really go wrong overall as long as you have a good situation  with attentive caregivers, and aren't just putting the kids in front of the television.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-04T02:36:46.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10769" CreationDate="2014-03-04T03:50:52.763" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that one other possibility is the shampoo-in-eyes issue.  For my oldest, that's a big issue; he is not a 'texture' child to begin with (so the soaping isn't interesting) and getting the foamy suds on his skin is annoying, plus the whole eyes-burning bit, even no tears soap has some pain.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach, which largely has worked: keep a towel handy, and offer it right after rinsing.  It allows him to quickly clear his eyes and forehead, and feel like he's in control of the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-04T03:50:52.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11649" CreationDate="2014-03-04T11:04:01.847" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you looked into putting in an IP camera instead?  We have two of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://foscam.us/foscam-fi8910w-wireless-ip-camera.html?gclid=CPDEvrbd-LwCFeRi7AodpV4AHQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Foscam FI8910W cameras&lt;/a&gt;, one in each child's room.  We hooked them up to the wireless and then use any number of free or cheap apps to see the cameras on our phones, as well as just using the IP address assigned to the camera to view them on our laptops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had one bad camera, which was constantly losing its IP address, but Foscam's customer service was great and replaced it without a lot of fanfare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-04T11:04:01.847" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10825" CreationDate="2014-03-04T15:28:45.710" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sharing what worked for us to stop the high amplitude screaming:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recorded a lullaby in our own voice  on our phone and played it to her, this causes her to think that someone is around and she attentively listened to the lullaby , this also helped her to fall asleep. At times this did not work and the only thing which always worked was lifting her and strolling her around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using other kinds of Music etc did not help at all though only our voice worked. It seems she loves to be talked with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastActivityDate="2014-03-04T15:28:45.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11655" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11561" CreationDate="2014-03-05T02:08:10.463" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question caught my attention when you first posted it and then I've been so crazed with stuff needing doing I totally didn't get around to it so I'm really glad you drew attention to it again with the bounty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11564/2876&quot;&gt;Deword&lt;/a&gt; makes a number of great points about the fact that kids need boundaries and that ultimately it isn't going to hurt their self-esteem if they don't get their way all the time so I consider this answer really an add-on, but an elaborate one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that one of the key things to remember is that allowing a child to disagree is not the same thing as allowing that child to always get her way.  It &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; a bit of a tight-rope walk and a balance that must be struck between exposing your child to absolutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way this has worked so far in our home is to allow for seeking compromises or win-wins, but to be absolutely uncompromising about not allowing argument for the sake of argument.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, if I say, &quot;no you can't have a cookie right now.&quot;  My daughter is expected to either accept the no or respond with a response that disagrees but seeks a compromised solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unacceptable: &#xA;&quot;But I WAAAaaaaant one&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Acceptable:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Okay, mom, are you worried I have had too many sweets today?  Would an apple work?  I really am hungry?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer to the second might still be no - perhaps she is guessing at the wrong reason, maybe dinner is just minutes away or something, but then, it is just a discussion.  In the case of the first answer the discussion is over.  At this point in life, all I really need to do to respond to this kind of a response is raise an eyebrow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By itself, this method will not result in a high self-esteem, but it certainly won't prevent a child from having a high self-esteem and even encourages the kinds of skills that make for good conflict resolutions with all kinds of people in life, the kind of thinking that leads to being the kind of person others want to be friends with, and is conducive to a child with a high self-esteem because it is a method that communicates:  &quot;your wants and needs matter too, and should be heard, but they happen in a context that must also consider the wants and needs of others as well as your health and long-term goals and happiness as well as your immediate satisfaction in balance.&quot; to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doc's comment on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11564/2876&quot;&gt;deworde's answer&lt;/a&gt; is another fabulous example of the kind of discussion you can eventually expect from a child that practices seeking win-win solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your daughter wants to go to a party, you say no, because you don't&#xA;  think it's safe. They counter with a suggestion that makes it safe&#xA;  (you can be there, another trusted adult is there, whatever). You&#xA;  agree that this allays your concern and she can go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to make it happen:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to introduce the idea of compromise in some way.  There are a ton of ways to do this, but I like &quot;The Seven Habits of Happy Kids&quot; best as a direct way to approach the topic with a child.  There are &lt;strong&gt;tons&lt;/strong&gt; of kids books that include good examples of the characters in the book needing to come to a compromise.  If you are Christian, there are Sunday-School materials about compromise.  You can exemplify someone that looks for compromise both in your interactions with your child and in your interactions with other adults your child sees you with (you probably already do).  The larger the variety of ways you broach the subject with your child and the more frequently, the sooner your child will start to get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The example I gave above is something I expect of my seven-year-old child.  Expectations must match both the developmental abilities of the child as well as the fact that this is a &lt;strong&gt;skill that must be learned&lt;/strong&gt;.  You can't just set forth a rule and expect a kid to follow it immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After introducing the concept and beginning to discuss why compromise is a good thing to try, you'll want to begin to ask the child to put the concept into action.  At the beginning, the parent can only model how to seek a compromise (or win-win) for the child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Honey, I understand you want a treat.  However, you've already had four cookies.  I'm worried you've had too many already.  Are you actually hungry?  Would something like a few apple slices get you what you want while still considering your health?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is basically how I talk to any child when there is a disagreement - even infants get this kind of an attitude from me.  &quot;I know you want out of the highchair my darling seven month old, but I really do need to get the sticky syrup off your hands first, then I'll put you down.&quot;  It may be a little silly-sounding to many, but it has always worked well for me.  When they do start talking, they already have a ton of examples regarding how to express what they want and hear what others want. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Over time, when an unacceptable answer is given you can ask questions like:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I understand you really want the cookie.  You aren't talking to me in a way that is going to help you get it though.  Why do you want the cookie so badly?  Is there a way you can have the cookie at another time or is there another food that will work to help you feel less hungry?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OR Eventually,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Hmmmm. . . That doesn't sound like someone trying to figure out a compromise - do you want to try again?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over time, even that will shorten to, &quot;You'd better try again&quot; and the eventual, eyebrow raise that says it all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps somewhat as cursory an answer it is.  I could write a book if I included every age and stage and possible example, but if there is something more specific that would be of help, please ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I need to make it clear though, the parent is still owner of the house, money giver, and adult with experience beyond that of the child's.  Being open to discussion, doesn't mean you always agree to a compromise and there will be, and should be times when you pull the &quot;parent card&quot; because you can and need to.&lt;/strong&gt;  There are some things that are simply non-negotiable, hopefully these usually relate to safety, health and morals.  When you find a compromise, you are allowing her to get &lt;strong&gt;some&lt;/strong&gt; of what she wants.  When you pull the parent card, you get your way.  On occasion, its okay to relinquish and decide to let the child have her way too (but this should be far less common than compromise and either equally common or, better, less common than the pulling of the parent card and only when the child is being reasonable about it and can be &quot;rewarded&quot; for good behavior of late, above and beyond performance on chores, school or something else that took a great effort. . . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-03-06T02:34:26.460" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11656" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11657" CreationDate="2014-03-05T12:37:05.673" Score="0" ViewCount="89" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an ISN number for an international school that claims it is UK accredited, and I would like to reach the UK ministry of education's website made for verifying the accreditation of international schools.&#xA;By the way, the school is an elementary school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6306" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-24T12:05:08.160" LastActivityDate="2019-09-24T12:05:08.160" Title="How to reach the UK ministry of education's website for verifying an international school's accreditation?" Tags="|school|united-kingdom|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11656" CreationDate="2014-03-05T13:36:55.163" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We don't have a ministry of education - there is a Department for Education, but they do have an list of international schools registered:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://orderline.education.gov.uk/international/Public/schools.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://orderline.education.gov.uk/international/Public/schools.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have an email address that you may find useful &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;internationalschools@education.gov.uk&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-03-05T13:36:55.163" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11561" CreationDate="2014-03-05T17:10:11.690" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One simple line: Safety issues are non-negotiable. She gets no opinion on seat belts, crossing the street without looking, giving out contact information over the internet, playing with power tools, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other issues, you can listen to her, and you can go with her choices at times. There will also be times where her choice places an undue burden on the rest of the family, and she'll learn to understand that the sun does not rise when she opens her eyes. &lt;em&gt;&quot;There's nothing wrong with going to the movie with your friends, honey, but right now, we need that $15 to pay for your brother's soccer cleats.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; She may not like it, she may argue, but she needs to be part of a family as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-03-05T17:10:11.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11561" CreationDate="2014-03-05T18:06:52.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's the general rule in our house:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You must follow the instructions of your caregiver - be it mom, dad,&#xA;  grandma, grandpa, baby sitter, etc. &lt;strong&gt;UNLESS&lt;/strong&gt; their instruction is&#xA;  to do something illegal, immoral, dangerous, or abusive. And mom and&#xA;  dad will support the caregiver in their decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You don't have to like it. You can disagree. You can think I'm being&#xA;  stupid or unfair. You may ask questions, suggest alternatives, negotiate &#xA;  or ask for help. But, you must not disobey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Now if that caregiver is being unreasonable, the parents may have a discussion with them outside of the earshot of the child, or may choose not to use that caregiver again, but that's another story).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seems harsh? It depends on how reasonable you are as a parent/caregiver. The rule is clear and kids thrive on clear rules; and it has a built in escape clause for a caregiver who is off their rocker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When does it shift from a child disagreeing with you and letting them get their way? When you let them get their way. If you give them an instruction, and the choose not to follow it (i.e., they have the knowledge, resources, and capabilities of following it); if you do not bring in the corrective action (i.e., discussion, time out, grounding, privilege loss, etc.) when they fail to perform, then you have let them get their way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In practice, as a caregiver you might take protests into account (&quot;Why do I have to clear the table, John isn't doing anything?&quot; &quot;John, help Jane clear the table&quot;); but that's your decision, not Jane's - the answer might be &quot;John set the table, your task is to clear it.&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course if they don't know how to do/understand what the task is or don't have the tools/time to do the task, or don't have the physical/mental abilities to perform the task; that's your fault as the caregiver for giving them the wrong task. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g., you could never tell a 3 year old in the middle of a meltdown (mental abilities) to clear the table (a task they've never been shown how to do) when they can't even reach the counter and don't have a stool to climb up on (lack of tools). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6957" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2014-03-06T12:04:06.990" LastActivityDate="2014-03-06T12:04:06.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11648" CreationDate="2014-03-05T23:23:28.980" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to them. A lot. The is a well &lt;a href=&quot;http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/10/the-power-of-talking-to-your-baby/&quot;&gt;documented&lt;/a&gt; link between conversation and vocabulary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read to them. A lot. Several books a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both play with them as well as fostering self play. We found Lego Duplo worked very well with our son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provide social interaction with other children similarly aged. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-03-05T23:23:28.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11662" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-06T15:19:04.850" Score="12" ViewCount="531" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/800/how-should-i-talk-to-my-child-about-death&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; specifically addresses how to talk to a 5 year old, but I'm curious about younger kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; talking about situations where death has become an important event in a child's life and &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; must be said (like the death of a parent or close relative).    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But my toddler occasionally gets into a conversation where I can probably escape the topic, but the only honest answer involves death:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Where's &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; grandpa, mommy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How come we never visit Uncle David?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my question is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are there recommended ages before which the idea of death (or levels of it - animals, people in abstract, people you know, etc.) should be avoided?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, all kids are different in their intellectual and emotional progress, but I'm trying to get a sense for what average ages, if any, are appropriate for different levels of discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2018-04-01T17:02:25.120" Title="Is there an age before which you should avoid the concept of death or dying?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11663" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-06T20:42:26.607" Score="14" ViewCount="14124" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've gotten the technique of changing a diaper in a public restroom down fairly well if there's a counter or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.koalabear.com/baby-changing-stations&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;changing station&lt;/a&gt;.  But recently we took a flight and I discovered I have no idea how to change a diaper on a plane.  There are, I believe, three options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the lavatory and struggle with the impossibly tiny space,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change the diaper from your seat (ideally a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/912/4521&quot;&gt;bulkhead row&lt;/a&gt;), or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wait until you reach the ground to deal with dirty diapers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were fortunate that option #3 was available because our children waited until final approach.  But I wondered (and worried) about what would happen if that were not the case. Would it have been better to tie up a lavatory for the extra time needed to do the job with a squirming infant?  Or does the obvious necessity make stripping a child naked in public and exposing seatmates to the smell acceptable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a few hours a flight manifest becomes a sort of &lt;em&gt;ad hoc&lt;/em&gt; community.  How can a parent change a diaper with maximum efficiency and minimal embarrassment for all involved?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T11:03:10.843" Title="What's the cleanest way to change a diaper on an airline flight?" Tags="|infant|travel|diaper|flying|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11663" CreationDate="2014-03-06T20:59:02.037" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I opted for the lavatory when we took my son on a plane.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should mention that I'm a pretty big guy: 6'3&quot; or roughly 190cm.  Standing in that lavatory, hunched over the rudimentary changing table... let's just say it wasn't fun.  Or comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet I'm not convinced in the seat would be any better, even if you ignore the issue of consideration for your fellow travelers (and I feel that's a pretty big issue, especially if you don't have the luxury of having the entire set of seats in your section of the row for just your family members).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even more important, accidents happen, especially on a plane experiencing some degree of turbulence.  In the event of something going somewhere it shouldn't go, you really want that sink to be close.  It may be only an airplane sink, but its a source of running water, and that could be a critical component in a &quot;worst case scenario&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do have to change in the lavatory, bring everything you need, &lt;em&gt;and nothing more&lt;/em&gt;.  Don't bring the whole diaper bag.  Just bring the diaper (and perhaps a spare, just in case), wipes, disposal baggie, etc..  Only the bare minimum for the changing.  The amount of space you'll be dealing with makes extra items like the diaper bag more of a liability than an asset.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tying up the lavatory is not something I'd worry too much about.  Many commercial planes have multiple lavatories, anyway.  Those that don't are (in my experience, anyway) usually planes that are either for short trips, or the sign that you're on a &quot;bargain&quot; class airline (if I recall correctly, Ryanair, for example, saved some money by stripping out one of the standard lavatories on their planes in order to fit in an extra seat).  Regardless, changing a diaper is a perfectly legitimate use of a lavatory, so if you're tying it up, at least you're tying it up for the right reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best bet, for short flights at least, is, of course, to change the diaper before the flight, as close to boarding time as is feasible, and hope that you can avoid having to deal with changing the diaper on the plane altogether.  That's not always possible, of course, but one can hope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-03-06T20:59:02.037" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11663" CreationDate="2014-03-06T20:59:22.637" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take option 1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, let the other passengers waiting know what are doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that both parents go to the bathroom. One parent stands outside supplying wipes, a bag for the poopy nappy, etc etc, the other does the dirty work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you have plenty of wipes, a plastic bag for the nappy, a bag for any clothes that get soiled, a fresh change of clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Embarrassment? Learn to not worry about what others are thinking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-03-06T20:59:22.637" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11662" CreationDate="2014-03-06T23:59:14.603" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It wasn't so long ago that pretty much everyone was faced with the death of someone they knew by the time they were five.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will be dead pets, friends will have pets that die, friends will have grandmas and grandpas that die. I'd say discuss it whenever it comes up in a way appropriate to how it came up. Why wait until an unsettling event happens, and you have to deal with the event and the unsettled child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-03-07T00:05:31.330" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T00:05:31.330" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11663" CreationDate="2014-03-07T01:16:01.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have not changed a diaper on a plane, but have changed a diaper in the front seat of a sports car, which I would guess has the same amount of space (and room for error(-; ) I didn't even have the luxury of a sink, and I'm a cloth-diaperer. Here's how I managed with my 7 mo old:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Make sure diaper is arranged (not an issue with disposables, but, the point is to have it ready. ) and tucked under your chin. Place wipes and wet bag (not an issue with 'sposies) at your feet, preferably on the side of your dominant hand.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2) drape a towel, cloth, changing pad, or something waterproof over your lap (those large plastic drop-cloth type products marketed for protecting the floor around a high chair works great for an instant, clean, waterproof, disposable surface.)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;3) lay baby with his head towards you and his feet at or past your knees,  on his back, obviously... His head will be essentially tucked in your waist.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;4) undress completely below the waist. Throw bottoms over your shoulder in the case of separates, if it's a onesie or one piece suit, tuck it way up around armpits. You don't want any clothing in the &quot;line of fire.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;5) undo diaper, but don't remove yet.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;6) grab baby's ankles in one hand and bring feet towards you while leaning back. (Essentially bending baby in half, knees to nose). The goal is to get the bum up in the air, off your lap. Scoot the clean diaper under the dirty one, opened with front part hanging down by your knees.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;7) reach around baby's legs and grab the front of the dirty diaper from between baby's legs and pull the dirty diaper out, wiping the bum along the way- try to get as much poo as you can with the diaper itself (this is standard procedure for me, but I make no assumptions) so you don't need a million wipes. Place it on floor next to wipes, grab wipe(s) while down there.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;8) clean bum. Do the best you can since you aren't on the business end of things and can't see.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;9) reach between baby's legs and grab front of diaper, pulling it up. You can let go of baby's legs now, letting them dangle while you fasten the diaper. (In my case, legs were up on the dash, on a plane, they might be on the back of the lav door.)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;10) redress baby, stow dirty diaper in wetbag or trash, toss/stow wipes, gather supplies, wash hands, done!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found this to be better than trying to fit baby on an un-level bucket seat (a light colored fabric seat, btw) while I crammed on the floor. I can't imagine trying to fit a baby on the back of a plane's toilet lid (even if it was by some miracle sanitized), or the little tiny sink-encumbered counter, especially during turbulence. At least with the baby on your lap you are holding on.  I hope this adapted version of my &quot;tiny space diaper change&quot; solution is helpful&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you want to practice in a chair at home first? Practice makes perfect!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-03-07T01:53:15.770" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T01:53:15.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5666" CreationDate="2014-03-07T03:27:18.067" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the sense that both methods' outcome is a happy, healthy mom and baby, the difference is none.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies who are born vaginally receive crucial beneficial bacteria from their mother's birth canal that are necessary to populate the gut.  This &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; explain why there is growing evidence that babies born via c-section are more likely to develop asthma and allergies.  Here is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/264473.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; to an article that describes research on the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A C-section I suppose is easier in the delivery room, but you pay the price during recovery.  So, a child who is born vaginally has the advantage of a mother who will be on her feet sooner (not to say c-section mom's are lazy or neglectful or anything like that, please don't infer that meaning! Its a MAJOR surgery-&lt;em&gt;anyone&lt;/em&gt; would need time to recover, even tough-as-nails females of our species.)  Pain medication is also required after a major surgery like that, and they all have side effects on the baby (if a mother is nursing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T03:27:18.067" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11663" CreationDate="2014-03-07T04:42:46.093" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first answer post is right on the money. Definitely use the in plane lavatory if your baby #2s during the flight. I found it helpful that I had an extra swaddling blaket to lay down on the changing surface. One of my flights did not have a fold down changing table which made it a little more difficult, but all parents learn to improvise. My advice is to just take your time and keep your cool because your baby will feel it otherwise. Most people on your plane will sympathize with you for having to travel with an infant, so I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about bothering them. Just as long as your courteous and attentive to your child you will be fine. Changing a poopy diaper in your seat is not courteous! Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6968" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T04:42:46.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11663" CreationDate="2014-03-07T09:02:07.853" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From personal experience, the airline toilet isn't impossibly small, although this appears to vary by both aircraft and size of parents (international flights only so far, parents are no more than six feet tall, child is fairly quiescent as she's no older than 6 months on all flights so far).  My wife and I manage the process together:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;she carries the baby in, I squeeze in behind her.  Then I reach around and either distract or contain our daughter on the changing shelf, so she doesn't wriggle around and fall off. That gives my wife two free hands to actually remove the diaper, wipe and add a fresh one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't had people complaining yet - I guess somebody might think two adults entering the toilet together are intent on joining the Mile High Club, but then the presence of an infant will usually make them reevaluate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T09:02:07.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11672" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-07T09:36:10.973" Score="3" ViewCount="14353" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 year old daughter talks so fast, it's sometimes hard to follow what she says without concentrating. It's not the enunciation as such (although it could be better) and I don't think she needs to see a speech therapist. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to explain that it is important make oneself understood, for her life to come (with friends, at work etc..), she even follows acting classes, but nothing has changed. Personally I keep telling her to &quot;speak slowly&quot; or &quot;sorry, that was too fast, what did you say?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of her friends are also very fast speakers (so I am but, not as bad) so it doesn't help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically I could do with some tips to improve her speech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1894" LastEditorUserId="1894" LastEditDate="2014-03-07T10:14:15.763" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T08:23:43.013" Title="10 year old child talks way too fast. How can I slow her down?" Tags="|language-development|language|speech|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11672" CreationDate="2014-03-07T13:41:47.437" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, you are already doing most of what can be done about it, and even this tip isn't likely to make things a whole lot better.  This is a common problem with this age group and up through the teen years.  The best answer I found was to do what you are doing really - but consistently and refuse to understand when she doesn't slow down.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since she takes theater, I'm sure it is a real problem for her drama teacher and/or acting coach.  Enlist the help of that/those people and become a team regarding the matter.  Discuss it with each-other so you can use the same language about it to remind her to slow down - it usually helps to have multiple people putting the same message out there together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find that discussing &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoneme&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;phonemes&lt;/a&gt; might help a little.  Ask that she be sure to pronounce the last phoneme in every word (around you).  Often, in order to speak quickly a lot of those last phonemes get dropped (or lessened to the point of incomprehension).  Of course, you'll have to set a good example too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;di' you go to the mall today?  Dillar' was havin' a sale.  I bought&#xA;  a pai' of jea's, two t's and two skir' for only twel' dolla'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll still speak way to quickly around you and others - especially her friends.  She'll need constant and consistent reminders.  However, you've armed her with helpful information and eventually, when it really matters (an important role or an audition for a part she really wants, an interview, or a convo with someone she cares about that honestly can't understand) she'll know what to do and do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T13:41:47.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11674" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-07T16:23:44.677" Score="5" ViewCount="168" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can recall the first five or six years of my life being glorious, well, what I can remember of them anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I recall, to me, the world was &lt;em&gt;all about me&lt;/em&gt;. I was the center of it and I knew it, especially since the adults around me tended to reinforce that. Being an only child is something I'm certain contributed to my prolonged sense of entitlement as being more important than anything I saw. It diminished, rather quickly, around the age of 10 from what I can remember and conversations with my parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there an age where complete self-involvement begin to subside, as a child naturally begins to think of others &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; themselves and their needs? At some point, a child's idle conversation should strive to be more engaging of others, rather than self-narrative, right around the point that a child realizes that stating their immediate needs or desires might not be appropriate due to the circumstances at hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that being an only child has quite a bit to do with this. When you're the oldest, and a new sibling comes into your life, you get less attention and that's just something you have to deal with. Being born already &lt;em&gt;having&lt;/em&gt; a sibling makes this just something that's always been the way it is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, at what age (only child or not, though I suspect it might differ) should I be concerned that a child is still excessively self-involved and indulgent, and what can I do as a parent to help them to a healthier level of it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T22:03:29.040" Title="At what age should a child's self-involvement begin to decrease?" Tags="|social-development|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11675" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-07T17:29:40.857" Score="6" ViewCount="397" Body="&lt;p&gt;This year my son tested into our district's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.burbankusd.org/District/6070-Untitled.html&quot;&gt;Math Field Day competition&lt;/a&gt;.  He was very excited to show us the results and we all agreed to commit to the weekly practice sessions after school.  He enjoys playing games with our family, loves math, and enjoys making new friends.  So this seemed a perfect fit.  Indeed, he comes out of practice feeling energetic and enthusiastic about what they did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, as the competition day approaches, he's been more and more reluctant to go to practice.  It's like a magnetic repulsion; the closer he gets in time and space to the classroom where they meet, the more agitated he gets.  Yesterday, my wife finally asked the right questions and we discovered he's very worried about competing in the tournament.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I can tell, the anxiety comes entirely from within; we aren't putting pressure on him to perform and I don't think the teachers are either.  From what I know now, he thinks math is really important, he knows he should do very well, and he doesn't want to let himself down.  He doesn't mind losing at board games because they aren't so important.  (As an aside, I see a lot of myself in him at that same age.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we talk him through this worry so that he will be able to deal with other competitions later in life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T00:36:39.807" Title="How can I talk my son through his competition anxiety?" Tags="|middle-childhood|anxiety|competitiveness|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11672" CreationDate="2014-03-07T17:50:42.620" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One technique we were taught, that has helped me (but still has a long way to go, as I always talk too fast when presenting - just look at any of the videos of me online) is to treat full stops as breaths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time you hit a full stop, breathe. A full breath. This forces you to slow down, and it helps your thought processes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It works for kids - since I was given this advice in a professional presenting skills course, I have tried to encourage my children to do the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T17:50:42.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11675" CreationDate="2014-03-07T17:52:51.950" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I was a very competitive child (and thus didn't have this sort of anxiety), one of the reasons was that I enjoyed finding out the areas I was more skilled in, and the areas I could focus on learning more about.  I would suggest portraying the competition as an opportunity for him to find out how he compares to other students, and which areas he needs to work on improving.  Thus, take the focus off of &quot;winning&quot;, and turn it to &quot;learning&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also might try to find out whether he has any social pressures - such as if he feels that if he fails to win he will lose some social standing.  That was more of an issue with me (as I was the &quot;smart kid&quot; but not very social, so most of what social standing I had rested in my ability to keep up with the upperclassmen).  If he feels that he may fail and lose friends or otherwise lose something socially, this might be more stressful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, you might point out that math competitions, particularly as you get to high school, are excellent ways to make friends - even if you're not the #1 student, you can join a team and have a lot of fun experiences (in &quot;mathlympics&quot; or whatever your area has that is similar - academic decathalon, Math Counts [which is middle school, even!], etc.) which can be a great way to make friends, whether at your school or at others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you might consider role-playing.  Hopefully the teachers are running practice runs of the entire competition (either straight through, or at least all of the parts exactly as they will be done); if not, encourage them to, or even hold your own with some of his friends.  Further, you might role-play his reactions to certain things - say, &quot;Okay, imagine that your team just lost.  How do you feel?  Now, imagine you had the last question of the event, and if you got it right you win, if you got it wrong you lose.  How do you feel in each case?&quot;  Help him to think about the reasons why it makes him feel bad (and what kind of 'bad' it makes him feel) and how he can turn that into a positive, without telling him &quot;Don't feel that way&quot; (as the feeling is legitimate and valuable in itself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-03-07T18:07:21.897" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T18:07:21.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11672" CreationDate="2014-03-07T18:09:38.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once she is old enough (depending on where you are, this is likely between 7th and 9th grades), enroll her in Speech and Debate.  In Debate, talking fast is a big plus - but talking fast AND being understandable is absolutely crucial; and in other variants of speech, clarity and enunciation is very important.  On top of that, it can be pretty fun, especially if she enjoys talking (like I did at that age!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T18:09:38.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11663" CreationDate="2014-03-07T18:18:48.350" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've done it all three ways (#1 and #2 a few times, and fortunately usually #3). In the lavatory is best if it has a table - but make sure you ask which one does, as often only one does from our experience on 737s.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the seat works if you're a fast changer (which I am) with a small baby - but not with a toddler. If it's still breast-milk-only, you are fine since it doesn't smell terribly much, but if the baby is old enough for a substantial amount of solid poop, use the lavatory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T18:18:48.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11675" CreationDate="2014-03-07T22:35:55.353" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask him what emotion he feels most about the event - fear? Shame? Guilt? Anxiety?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him what thought is attached to that emotion - &quot;i will fail&quot;; &quot;people will laugh at me&quot;; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him what evidence he has for those thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow him to feel those emotions.  They are real for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then talk to him.  Ask him to think about alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Well, I am pretty good at math.  And I have been practicing.  So all I can do is try my best.  So what if I don't win?  I'll just try harder next time&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discuss the concept of failure, and that failure is not only allowed but welcome.  Talk about people who play music.  They need to practice and that doesn't mean they fail each time they practice. It just means they get better over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's important to acknowledge his fears and not to start to try to reduce them until he's had a chance to talk about them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-03-07T22:35:55.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11681" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-08T02:29:29.510" Score="8" ViewCount="2064" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child has always had behavioral problems; I even had a lot of behavior problems as a child so he gets it honestly. I thought that after he was deemed gifted and placed in a gifted program I would see his behavior change. There has been no improvement and he has actually started falling behind in class due to his behavior. The school is now calling his behavior hyperactive and I no longer know what to do besides turning to medicine, and the school seems to be all for me going the medical route. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it just me? I feel that all kids until about 6th grade are a little hyper and in the US lately we seem to turn to medicine too quickly. My child is only 8 and is a 3rd grader. I'm really lost and this being my first child I have no idea where to even begin to try to tame his behavior. It seems like every week he is on punishment and my life is becoming one of always being stuck in the house on weekends due to his misbehaving at school during the week. Please give me any suggestions you have on what I should do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6974" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-03-08T15:34:06.113" LastActivityDate="2017-10-14T10:05:25.090" Title="Gifted child at gifted school still dealing with behavior problems" Tags="|discipline|school|gifted|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11681" CreationDate="2014-03-08T04:09:37.070" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, don't discount the medical option, but it ought to be down the list, after you've investigated other options. In any case, that's a medical diagnosis only a doctor can make.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how your son was labeled &quot;gifted&quot; or what that means in your locale, but it means &lt;strong&gt;nothing&lt;/strong&gt; with respect to maturity, attention span, social skills, or any ADHD diagnosis. A really smart eight-year old is still an eight-year old. As for most kids being &quot;a little hyper&quot;, he's in a class with other eight-year olds, and apparently he stands out from the crowd, so you have to believe there is an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what your work situation is, but if you can swing it, you should be the mom who volunteers in the room a few times a week, often enough that his behavior will revert to what it is when you are not there, and observe him. He's not perfect; no child is. Be prepared to see him do things you'd rather he didn't, but don't jump in to redirect him. That's the teacher's job, and his reaction to her is part of what you want to see. Be open  to talking with his doctor. Above all, don't make excuses for him. If he has a problem (and every kid has a problem), you need to help him overcome it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen good kids go south because their parents couldn't admit they had a problem on their hands, and I've seen kids with real problems succeed because their parents were there to help them through their difficulties. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do this!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T04:09:37.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11683" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11684" CreationDate="2014-03-08T04:14:22.967" Score="26" ViewCount="11607" Body="&lt;p&gt;My well behaved, bright, popular, naive 9 year old son brought a plastic toy revolver (the kind with the bright orange barrel to indicate that it's a toy) to school yesterday. He snuck it into his back pack because he wanted to show the girl across the street while they rode the bus to school. He had to sneak it because he &lt;em&gt;knows&lt;/em&gt; that toys are not allowed at school.  I know he knows this because he was scolded two days before when I found toys in his bag, which I confiscated.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, he got caught with it. Another child saw him showing some friends and told their classroom teacher about it once they got to class. This child is probably the only one in my sons class that doesn't get along with my boy. I am not excusing my son's behavior at all, but the dynamic between these two boys is important to this situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has trouble understanding that he should stay away from this boy. He is, in my opinion, a liar, a back-stabber, and an emotional bully. My boy wants everyone to be friends, and so he continues to hang around this kid despite my warnings and having experienced multiple betrayals. Until now. He is, for the first time, very angry at one of his 'friends' and is struggling with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Per school regulation, my son was suspended for the rest of the school day, the &quot;weapon&quot; was confiscated, and he was interviewed by the principal, school psychologist, and a police officer. The school chose not to press charges, thankfully. His intentions were not even remotely malicious, so they were lenient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am struggling with how to punish him appropriately for this. On one hand, his principal told him today when we met for his reinstatement that &quot;it's over now, and we 're moving on. Let's put this behind us now and learn from our mistakes&quot; and so perhaps I should echo the tone and be forgiving and lenient, chalking this up to at worst a big mistake? On the other hand, my son is not exhibiting any real signs of remorse or appreciation for the seriousness of bringing a weapon to school (even though it's fake) and being suspended, or the sneakiness, or the fact that he deliberately disobeyed me and that makes me think I should come down pretty hard on him to drive the point home.  After all, isn't his lack of awareness (or respect for) the rules the reason we are in this mess?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have told him that he is to be on his best behavior for now, and I've removed his electronic privileges while we think what his punishment should be. He's already shocked that there could be any more punishment besides losing the iPad and the 'ordeal' (his words!) at school. This is more evidence that he doesn't get it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's where the other kid comes in: when I can get him to talk about this, without rolling his eyes or making jokes, his biggest problem with all of this is that it's &quot;not even my fault!&quot; Since the other kid told on him, after he touched the toy gun and praised my son for being so &quot;bad ass&quot; for bringing it in and then pretended to be an innocent, frightened witness, my son completely, thoroughly, blames this other kid. I secretly partially blame him too; for being such a two face I really can't stand him, but I bury it and correct my son; it's my sons fault alone that he is in trouble because when you do bad things you get caught and you get punished. He won't stop obsessing about the &quot;tattle-tail&quot; and I really think it's blocking him from seeing the truth here. I suspect he's blinded by the anger and hurt he feels by this kid's betrayal (although they never had any trust, my son falsely believed it was there.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help him to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accept full responsibility for his actions. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nip the &quot;blame game&quot; in the bud. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay away from this other kid &lt;em&gt;for good&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Punish him with the right balance of harshness for the seriousness of the offense and leniency for the lack of ill intent.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone is on eggshells here at my house, any advice would be appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, this is the &lt;em&gt;ONLY&lt;/em&gt; toy weapon we've ever had, it was purchased by my mother, and it is long gone. We are not that sort of family where violence of any kind is tolerated, witnessed, or promoted. We don't even have local network television in the house, or violent video games. He wanted the cap gun because he likes the smell of the caps. Honestly. He's that naive to guns and what they mean. We've got real guns in the house, he knows this, and has no interest in them whatsoever. This event really came out of the blue. It is very unsettling however. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;UPDATE&lt;/em&gt;  We ended up taking a middle ground approach in regards to punishment. Our first instinct, before I even put this question out for answers, was to remove the biggest distraction/infatuation of the moment so that he would be forced to focus on this. Minecraft went bye-bye. I did take DanBeale's advice though, and he got the iPad back almost immediately (sans Minecraft of course). We allowed him to reinstall the game &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; he wrote 2 letters of apology and thanks to his teacher for vouching for him and also for claiming he had a &quot;dentist appointment&quot; in an effort to shut down the rumor mill, and also to the principal for leniency.  He also had to purchase the game with his own money this time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, we let the issue of the gun rest (at home) but I did request the school psychologist speak to him about WHY everyone freaked out about the gun. I went this route because my husband kept veering towards making jokes about all this and I just wasn't confident the message would be delivered in such a way so that it would hit home.  That's an issue for another forum I suppose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has finally accepted that this other boy is not trustworthy, and is therefore not a good friend. I think he finally understands that relationships come in many shades of gray, not just super BFF's forever on one side and sworn enemies on the other. He has decided he'll still be nice to the boy, but won't purposely sit next to him at lunch- a shade of grey closer to the enemy end of the spectrum in 9 year old social circles from what I can tell. I never realized how difficult it is to explain trust and how important it is to a child until now. I think he gets it, but only time will tell. Thanks for the great answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="20761" LastEditDate="2016-03-11T16:04:14.817" LastActivityDate="2018-08-07T15:54:21.043" Title="9 year old son brought a toy gun to school – how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|friends|maturity|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="22" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11683" CreationDate="2014-03-08T11:45:45.280" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;1) The other kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your son.  Make sure you listen to what he says and acknowledge it.  His feelings of hurt, anger, and confusion are real.  The aim here is to allow your son to come to the realization that he doesn't want to spend time with this other boy because the other boy causes upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Removing an iPad for 25 minutes is just as effective as removing it for a week.  Seriously, if it's done carefully the child realizes the mistake and that there are consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) The gun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to him about the gun.  Why does he think the police were called?  Why does he think he had to see a counselor?  Can he see a difference in the level of reaction between this situation - taking a gun to school - and the last situation - taking general toys to school?  Each time he mentions the other child just calmly state &quot;we are talking about what you did now.  We are not talking about things that other people did.  We can talk about that later (and remember we talked about him earlier) but now we are talking about what you did.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The aim here is for him to realize that some rules are more serious than others, and that things involving violence to other people are really serious.  I'm not sure if wording like &quot;sometimes bad guys have guns, and so when you take a toy gun to school people have to make sure that you're not a bad guy.&quot; is acceptable to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think punishment now is counter productive.  He's had a range of measures taken against him.  I'd concentrate on getting him to understand what was wrong; and on getting reassurance that he's not going to do similar. Then give clear, firm warnings about future behavior.  &quot;Taking toys to school is against the rules.  You will be punished with X if you do it again.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="388" LastEditDate="2016-05-19T17:36:03.087" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T17:36:03.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11685" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11687" CreationDate="2014-03-08T13:19:12.263" Score="11" ViewCount="3745" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six-months-old son is in the habit of reaching and grabbing his own penis, as soon as I open the diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This becomes a problem about twice a day, when his diaper gets really filled up and his penis and scrotum are dirty with feces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trivial solution is to hold both his hands with one of mine, but that ties up one of my hands, and I really need them both to do the cleanup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have a solution?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6975" LastEditorUserId="17701" LastEditDate="2022-11-27T07:37:44.660" LastActivityDate="2022-11-27T07:37:44.660" Title="Keep 6 months old son from touching his dirty genitals" Tags="|hygiene|diaper|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11683" CreationDate="2014-03-08T14:46:46.210" Score="10" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Punishment&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with the school that he has had enough punishment and it&#xA;    should be time to move on at least in regard to punishing consequences - If he describes his experience with this at the school as an &quot;ordeal&quot; then, the interviews with the police, psychologist etc. were dramatic and disturbing to him and he has definitely got the message that the adults were upset by it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Learning from the Mistake&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with you that to truly &quot;learn from his mistake&quot; he cannot remain naive about why it was such a big deal either.  I think &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11684/2876&quot;&gt;DanBeale's&lt;/a&gt; answer contains &lt;strong&gt;very good advice&lt;/strong&gt; and offers a great place to start, but, I'd consider taking it one step further if it seems your son still isn't getting it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know he is nine, and that may make you reluctant to discuss school shootings etc. with him, but perhaps this is the best time to bring up some of the history about why schools are so stringent about guns (even toy ones) at schools.  There are ways to go about introducing this bit of history to induce empathy rather than fear, but you will need to be careful as it is a fine line.  Here are some pieces to the equation you could consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Online Resources Regarding Talking to Your Kids About School Violence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are larggely about discussing things with kids that have learned about a shooting that was currently in the news, but I think the information is still important in your considerations.  You'll want to focus on what is being done to prevent such a thing happening again (and rules about even toy weapons at school are a part of that)  These should be stories he learns about people overcoming a tragedy, moving on and learning about how to do better in the future - an attitude he'll need to have about his own mistake too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/14/resources-talking-and-teaching-about-the-shooting-in-newtown-connecticut/?_php=true&amp;amp;_type=blogs&amp;amp;_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The New York Times&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/teaching-tolerance/school-shootings-the-conversation-you-need-to-have-with-your-kids/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parents Magazine&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Visual Media&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Visual media requires a special level of caution.  It may be more helpful for you to watch some of this so you are well informed and not show it to him.  &lt;strong&gt;OR&lt;/strong&gt; just pick out a choice clip or two to show.  Visual media can provide images that will then be burned into a person's brain for years and you want to avoid doing this to your son.  I don't know that showing him this kind of media will be necessary, but I simply offer it here for your consideration: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the Newtown incident, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/about/news/archive/2013/after-newtown-programming/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;PBS made sure to cover the topic&lt;/a&gt; and although, nine is not the target audience here, You may find something from PBS helpful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have not seen any of the documentaries listed on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/genres-movies/documentary/5-best-columbine-documentaries/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Screen Junkies&lt;/a&gt; about Columbine and highly doubt any of them are specifically designed with a 9-year-old in mind, but perhaps some of the info here might be helpful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://acolumbinesite.com/films.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;A Columbine site&lt;/a&gt;, also lists movies, documentaries and plays inspired by various school shootings.  Again, I have not seen any of them and doubt if watching in a complete way is the right way to go, I do recommend previewing some of the ones that look like the most likely candidates for good info for your son and picking some choice bits that are informative without being graphic, or scary.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1212451/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;April Showers&lt;/a&gt; looks like it might have some potential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I don't think you Want to delve into the history here too much, but reading a couple of clippings from the news at the time of each of these shootings together and talking about how the school's response to his toy is because of this history and a big part of why it was taken so seriously will be a good way to help him answer the question, &quot;Why was the response to the toy gun different from the response to just toys?&quot; if you find him unable to answer it satisfactorily otherwise.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Other Boy and Responsibility&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;You say you &quot;secretly partially blame&quot; the other kid too - but I didn't need that statement to know you felt that way because of some of the other things you offer in the question earlier on.  Your own &quot;secret&quot; here may not be as secret as you think, and may be feeding your son's own blockage.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming there is evidence and you can be sure this other kid, is in fact, the one that &quot;tattled&quot; - his involvement, as you know is irrelevant other than the way the blame game is preventing your son from taking responsibility for his own actions that got him here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend taking DanBeale's Tact here too.  but first, you need to address your own feelings on the matter.  Obviously, this other kid has some issues he is going to need to address at some point in his life in order to be a healthy, happy, connected to others adult.  Listening to your son about &lt;strong&gt;his&lt;/strong&gt; feelings on the matter is a great idea, but accidentally doing anything to amp up his anger at this other boy (like pushing an agenda that requires him to stay away from the other boy) will only help him to continue to blame the other boy and be blind to his own responsibilities here.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, if there isn't direct evidence that it &lt;strong&gt;was&lt;/strong&gt; the other boy, an honest, &quot;I think it was probably (other boy's name) that tattled on you too.  We really don't know that for sure though.  It is possible it was even one of the other kids on the bus that isn't in your class and doesn't know you.  Let's just pretend it wasn't (other boy's name) for a moment.  Can you think of reasons why some one might have told that weren't just about being mean to you?&quot;  would be helpful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking a tact such as this helps to build empathy for those who could have been around him who may have not even understood the toy gun, or who might be scared - not because they existed in this instance, but because it will help your son to know they &lt;strong&gt;could have&lt;/strong&gt; existed and understand why taking a toy gun to school isn't a great idea in the first place.  It might be good for him to know there are times when telling an adult is about &lt;strong&gt;helping&lt;/strong&gt; and not about hurting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T14:46:46.210" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11685" CreationDate="2014-03-08T14:56:03.670" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do a body block by leaning across the baby's belly (without any weight being put on the baby) until I've got things cleaned up, up front.  It also prevents the child rolling over and escaping the area where I am doing the changing.  I can then move to a better angle for being certain I've got the back end fully cleaned up while knowing that at least the penis is fairly sanitary while the baby grabs at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T14:56:03.670" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11681" CreationDate="2014-03-08T15:01:53.877" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even good gifted programs (which are relatively rare in the US) still typically put kids in desks and expect them to sit and work in a fairly traditional way (except that they are allowed discussion with their peers a little more).  This style of learning may not be a match for your child.  A certain part of the population needs movement to process information coming in.  If this sounds like it fits your son, you may need to have a discussion with his teacher about learning styles and how your son's kinestetic or tactile needs are or are not being met.  In order to be sure you've got your son's learning profile as straight and worked out as possible, you will need to see a specialist regarding kids and education.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantage to doing this now, is you can get all the facts, be sure your son is getting what he needs first and rule out all other options before applying medicine.  Then, if your child &lt;strong&gt;does&lt;/strong&gt; need help for hyperactivity you will also already have a trusted professional that can guide that process too.  Just be clear when looking for the right person that it isn't someone that pushes the drugs a lot but can provide them if they are needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2876" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T15:01:53.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11662" CreationDate="2014-03-08T15:28:08.897" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We never skirted around the concept or avoided discussions. Kids tend to be very matter of fact about these things precisely because they don't know what they mean. If you don't see Uncle David because he lives in India now, nobody will go on to say &quot;does everyone move to India some day?&quot; That question only comes from actual understanding of what living and dying are. Once they're old enough to ask that, they need true answers. But you can hide behind &quot;usually&quot; and &quot;normally&quot; for a while longer. &quot;Yes, everyone does die eventually, usually when they are very old, like [aged relative who died recently.]&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did find it helped, with preschoolers, to say &quot;he died&quot; rather than &quot;he is dead.&quot; I think it's hard for small ones to deal with permanent states, like &quot;he is black&quot; and more mutable ones, like &quot;he is in a bad mood&quot; with the same grammar. So using verbs whenever possible seems to make things clearer for them. And of course avoid euphemisms like &quot;passed on&quot;, &quot;went over&quot;, or &quot;lives with Jesus now.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my kids had a hamster that died (this is an actual feature of hamsters, they are very short-lived) and was very very upset. In the middle of all the crying out came this bit of meta observation: &quot;If I'm this upset about [the hamster] what will it be like when - &quot; and the sentence couldn't even be finished, it was so upsetting. (At that point they still had all their grandparents, and they have lost three in the years since.) But accepting that you will never see your hamster again, and observing that life eventually returns to a new hamsterless normal does make it slightly less bleak and awful in the early days after you lose a person. You know this is something that happens, and changes you, but that you will be yourself again after a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T15:28:08.897" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11675" CreationDate="2014-03-08T16:10:30.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That kind of anxiety usually stems from a fear of making mistakes in front of other people.  He is likely imagining an unrealistic reaction of the spectators, where they focus on his mistakes out of proportion to his successes.  Mostly he just needs to experience a few successful meets in order to get over his anxiety, but there are a few things that help a little:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look at some successful athletes and point out how they are still considered very good players even though they occasionally miss baskets, strike out, or throw interceptions.  Ask him about his own reaction to their mistakes.  Does he dwell on them, or does he hope they will do better on the next one?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Point out even if he misses every single question, he still beat out people that didn't make the team.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Point out previous events that scared him until he tried them.  Assure him he will feel the same way about this after it's over.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T16:10:30.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5680" CreationDate="2014-03-08T19:43:41.083" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought a hard cushion cut out of a mattress to use as a booster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since his butt is much narrower than the standard booster seat, this made lots of sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3147" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-30T10:55:08.657" LastActivityDate="2015-09-30T10:55:08.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11674" CreationDate="2014-03-08T22:03:29.040" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stages of Development&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children begin to explore the perspectives of others through pretend play in the ages of 2-6. This is still very egocentric  - when a girl pretends to be mother to her doll, it is still about her and not about her mother - it is an early exploration of relationship, and it is the start of the journey toward empathy. (Piaget - pre-operational stage, Erikson - play age)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Awareness of the perspectives of others begins to grow during the ages of 6-12. This is when children typically go to school and are surrounded by others their own age, which makes empathy easier as they are related to their school friends on so many levels (physical development, intellectual development, social development). Even without the school experience, though, children's brains develop during this period to begin considering more than one point of view. Their ability to connect actions to consequences is growing, though it won't be fully developed until their early 20s. (Piaget - concrete stage, Erikson - school age)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Abstract reasoning does not begin to develop until adolescence. At this point, young people develop hypothetical and critical thinking (Piaget) and begin to have a sense of the complexity of life and their small part in it (Erikson). This is when identity development begins in earnest - we begin to learn who we are in relationship to others. An understanding of the complexity of relationships happens in early adulthood (20s), and true caritas begins to develop in the late 20s and onward (Erikson).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Promoting development&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People develop at their own speeds, and they develop in relationship to others. You cannot teach development so much as you can provide opportunities for it to happen. Some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Exposure to others&lt;/em&gt;  We learn about ourselves through our relationships. When a friend does something that makes us angry, for example, we learn something about our own beliefs. We also learn how to stand up for ourselves and to negotiate boundaries. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Exposure to individuals outside of groups&lt;/em&gt;  Often children are only exposed to others at school or in teams, where groupthink may prevail. Kids make choices in order to fit in that they might not away from the group. Group experience is important for social development, but it is not where empathy is likely to develop best. Give your child exposure to individuals. Maybe there is a grandparent they can spend a few hours a month with one-on-one. When you are out with your child in public, don't interact with others for him - make your child order his own food, ask the librarian for the book he needs, answer the doctor's questions, say thank you to people who provide any sort of service.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Notice the perspective of others out loud whenever you are together&lt;/em&gt; Make it a habit when you are out with your child to comment on the experiences of others that you cross paths with: &quot;That saleswoman was really helpful.&quot; &quot;That customer is very grumpy - I wonder if he is having a bad day or if he is always like that.&quot;  &quot;Cleaning up after people all day would be really hard work.&quot; &quot;I wonder what it feels like to be the only black person in an office full of white people.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Model&lt;/em&gt;  Model the behaviors you would like your child to develop by the time he reaches maturity. If you lapse, talk about your lapse and how it made you feel.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Talk about behaviors you think are inappropriate&lt;/em&gt;  When your child does something that reflects a lack of maturity as compared to others his age, talk to him about it. Show him another way to view the same situation. &quot;When someone does something that makes you angry, instead of yelling at her, sometimes it helps to take a few minutes to think about why she did it - she might have had good intentions.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Don't over-talk&lt;/em&gt; Kids are observant, and the desire to fit in is great. They will learn far more from learning to observe wellnthan they will from adults preaching at them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When to worry&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should consider getting outside help if&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your child's maturity seems to be far behind others his age&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your child shows signs of sociopathy - a disregard for the right of others or lack of conscience&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.intropsych.com/ch11_personality/eriksons_psychosocial_stages.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Erikson's Psychosocial Stages&lt;/a&gt;  (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.intropsych.com/ch11_personality/erikson.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Erik Erikson&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/children/piaget-stages-of-development&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Piaget Stages of Development&lt;/a&gt;  (&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychology.about.com/od/profilesofmajorthinkers/p/piaget.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Jean Paiget&lt;/a&gt; )   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T22:03:29.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11694" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-08T22:34:36.497" Score="9" ViewCount="192" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in an under-military-coup-too-much-corrupted-country. There is a big gap between values and reality. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, policeman or military soldier should be a model for kids; They -normally- love him or -at least- feel safe while he is around. In my country, it is the inverse, stay away of them as much as you can. So the kids learn from school or TV that 'ask the policeman for help' and learn from us 'never ever talk to a policeman'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just one example  of conflict between values and what happens in reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question: What shall I tell me kids? The reality or the values?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6980" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T04:22:29.580" Title="Raising children in corrupted country" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11685" CreationDate="2014-03-08T22:59:58.803" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had similar problems, however not that regularly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What worked for us was &lt;strong&gt;saying&lt;/strong&gt; something like &lt;strong&gt;&quot;please keep your hands up until you are cleaned&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;, but honestly I'm not sure at what age this worked.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In case the baby still tries to move his hands into the dirty area, you could block them just for a short moment with your back of the hand or with your arm like wiping them away to underline your talking. Maybe that's enough to stop him for the moment. If not, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/11687/1092&quot;&gt;Balanced Mamas advice&lt;/a&gt; fits better.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My other idea would be to &lt;strong&gt;give the child a toy or another object in his hands to play with&lt;/strong&gt; (something that can be &lt;strong&gt;cleaned/washed easily&lt;/strong&gt; in case it should fall in the dirty area...) which might keep him/her busy and avoid him/her touching the (still) dirty parts of his body.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-03-08T22:59:58.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11697" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-09T05:20:40.600" Score="22" ViewCount="48230" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I and are the parents of three wonderful children, but we've been having some issues lately with our 15 year old, our middle child. She continues to wear skirts that are much too short for her, including to school (where these kinds of things should be dealt with, but aren't) and when out with her friends. We both have to leave for work early in the morning and rely on our kids to get ready to go to school by themselves in the mornings, and we are unable to verify our children's attire; in fact, we first found out our daughter was wearing miniskirts was when the school called to tell us. When we get home from work in the evenings, our daughter is usually wearing miniskirts and occasionally other short clothing inappropriate for her age. We don't know where we gets them and suspects she borrows them from friends or buys them at malls when she's out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was very rebellious and rude the last time we discussed this with her. We told her that we as parents require that her skirts be knee length or longer and meet school dress code, to which she replied that we were being &quot;old-fashioned&quot; and &quot;too conservative&quot;, and that short skirts are &quot;what every other girl is wearing&quot;. We threatened then, perhaps too brazenly, to throw out all of her skirts, even her okay ones, and buy her ones that were full length (I.e that reached her ankles), knowing that she'd know that she'll have to wear them to school and would not like it, thus giving her an appropriate incentive to start dressing more modestly. After she continued being rude and not wanting to follow our requirements, we followed through, and while she was at school we threw out all of her old skirts and anything that we found inappropriate and ordered some full length skirts for her to wear, like something similar to &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00ANQJFWK&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last night she complained that other kids thought that she was &quot;uncool&quot; because her parents made her wear ankle-length &quot;maxi&quot; skirts, even though they were to demonstrate a purpose, and further complained to us about how we &quot;don't get it&quot; and how girls wear skirts that are short. I explained to her that when I was growing up, we were in a strict religious community where modesty was a &lt;em&gt;big deal&lt;/em&gt; and we were expected to wear skirts that were almost ankle length, and so I therefore understand her wanting to express herself by wearing clothing that shows more skin. What I can't seem to get across is that while she has the right to express herself she needs to care about how she looks and dress appropriately. We feel that she accepted wearing the ankle-length skirt when she decided to not to follow our rules, yet she makes us out to be the enemy who won't let her be her own definition of &lt;em&gt;cool&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though we are still adamant about enforcing it, I am wondering if we were perhaps a bit too brazen and hasty when it comes to handling this. Do you feel like this was handled appropriately? I'd like feedback on how you feel we did in terms of handling the situation and what perhaps we should of done differently. Also, on a more general scale, what is the recommended way to deal with children who don't dress appropriately and you have limited time to deal with discipline due to a hectic work schedule&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6983" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T11:18:24.053" LastActivityDate="2017-09-15T02:52:53.997" Title="How to deal with a teenage daughter who refuses to dress modestly" Tags="|discipline|school|teen|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-09T08:47:28.590" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would have been incandescant with rage if my patents had removed and destroyed my property.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a difference between a short skirt and alcohol, or drugs, which are items that could legitimately be removed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) School Uniform.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that she must wear clothing that conforms to the school uniform.  Does the school allow above the knee skirts? If so you may need to compromise and allow those for school too.  Otherwise she'll just break the rules and she'll wear things that you find totally unacceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) her friends&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the scheme of things short skirts is a ridiculously trivial thing to worry about.  Your daughter could be drinking alcohol; taking drug; shoplifting; stealing cars; having sex; etc etc.  praise her for her good behaviour.  Set some firm rules about minimum length and work out some kind of compromise for what is acceptable.  Tell her that this is a considerable effort from you and that in return you need to see something in return from her - volunteering at a good cause charity or increased willing participation in household chores, and also some more modest clothing at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emphasise that you love her and trust her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-03-09T08:47:28.590" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11699" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-09T09:00:58.400" Score="4" ViewCount="902" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our girl/boy twins are a little over a year old. One of the surprising things we've learned is that they are intensely jealous of each other at feeding time.  It starts first thing in the morning: whichever twin thinks the other is going mommy first starts putting up a fuss.  By contrast, they stay fairly relaxed after naps which aren't usually followed by feeding. When my wife breastfeeds both at the same time, they slap each other's hands and face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that they are into solid food, they are intensely frustrated if it takes any amount of time to prepare their meal.  Our older son never got as impatient as these two are nearly every day.  Not even dividing the job between my wife and I works if each can see the other.  We use the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4227/4521&quot;&gt;alternating spoonful method&lt;/a&gt; and the moment one twin finishes a bite, he or she will immediately start begging for more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't bother too much if it were just a matter of the crying.  But the jealousy seems to feed on itself.  From the perspective of the twins, crying seems to work.  How can we break out of the cycle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T09:51:32.040" Title="How can I reduce feeding jealousy with my twins?" Tags="|infant|food|twins|jealousy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-09T14:25:49.800" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There may be a lot more going on than you know. If she doesn't follow dress-code rules she disagrees with, it's &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; unlikely she follows other rules she doesn't like, and she has unsupervised time in which to do so. She's proven that she's susceptible to peer pressure, that impressing her friends is more important than anything you think, and she's already lied to you many times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on what you've written, I would be very worried. It's possible that the only misbehavior involves wearing short skirts, but that's not realistic, is it? Unlike Dan, I wouldn't trust her, but you don't have to say that. Too much is at stake - this is not a dispute about community standards among rational adults!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's fifteen, and will be driving soon &lt;em&gt;if you allow it&lt;/em&gt;. What will she do then, when school is one direction, the mall is another, her boyfriend is horny and the house is empty? Am I concerned? Yeah. Am I being overly alarmist? I don't know. Do you? If I'm wrong, you need to know it, not hope it. I've taught over 5,000 14 year old kids in 29 years, including both my daughters and most of their friends, and I've seen this same story have a bad ending.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's at all possible, you and your husband should shift your work hours so that one of you can be there when she leaves and one is there when she returns. If you can't, get as close to it as you can. Her unsupervised time is a problem. Supervising her is the solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last thought: When I was in high school, my friends with the cool parents became the first parents, except the one who died driving drunk. Teens look, and for short periods, can seem like rational young adults. Don't you believe it! We weren't, they're not. They're emotional creatures, living for today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-03-09T14:36:08.933" LastActivityDate="2014-03-09T14:36:08.933" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11701" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-09T14:46:21.020" Score="3" ViewCount="196" Body="&lt;p&gt;By &quot;doing the air plane&quot;, I mean holding one arm and one leg of my daughter and then let her fly by circling around. I'm wondering when I can safely start doing that without dislocating her joints.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&#xA;I'm very certain it's not called &quot;doing the air plane&quot;. So please feel free to edit this with the proper expression.&#xA;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6985" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T13:45:53.010" Title="When can I start &quot;doing the air plane&quot;?" Tags="|development|play-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11702" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11703" CreationDate="2014-03-09T15:31:42.127" Score="2" ViewCount="221" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our three-year-old son has always been interested in minibeasts, such as worms, ants, spiders, woodlice, snails, and slugs, but he now seems to be even more interested in them than ever. Whenever we bring him outside the house, he would ask to find some minibeasts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We think that it is good to encourage this interest. What we have done so far is to visit nearby parks, fields, and woods, and find some minibeasts there to observe. We would mainly turn the rocks over to find worms and other small creatures underneath. But I would really like to hear new ideas for activities that we can do together with him, to encourage this interest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastActivityDate="2014-03-09T19:00:07.200" Title="Encouraging a 3-year-old's interest in minibeasts" Tags="|toddler|activities|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11702" CreationDate="2014-03-09T17:58:34.760" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get him his own magnifying glass. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also find small plastic collecting jars with a lens built into the top for observing the contents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/YwzrW.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;  &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ckX5j.gif&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;  &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GXOII.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using a babyfood jar, and plastic tubing, and the toe of a women's stocking you can make a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.show.me.uk/site/make/Natural-World/ACT59.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;great bug catcher&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets older, spend your family TV time watching something worthwhile. My kids grew up watching &quot;Uncle Dave&quot; (David Attenborough) nature videos rather than reality/Disney/stupid TV. They're mostly on NetFlix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-03-09T19:00:07.200" LastActivityDate="2014-03-09T19:00:07.200" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11704" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11706" CreationDate="2014-03-09T22:16:20.757" Score="9" ViewCount="5290" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler doesn't like to drink water.&#xA;She doesn't seem to notice that she is thirsty, even if her pee is a dark yellow.&#xA;How do I help her to recognize that her body is thirsty and that drinking enough water is wonderful?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastActivityDate="2018-03-22T05:21:13.533" Title="How can I get my toddler to drink more water?" Tags="|toddler|water|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4135" CreationDate="2014-03-10T00:39:15.753" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am writing this because when I first found out my son needed a cranial band (helmet) I was very hesitant and leery about him needing one.  I looked for different online resources for help in making a decision.  I hope this post helps some of you in the same situation I was in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son had torticolis and was going to PT to strengthen his neck muscles.  We were told he had a flat spot on the back of his head and his head was asymmetrical.  We were told with a helmet, his head could be corrected in three months.  After a lot of debate, we decided to get him the helmet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to tell you that it was one of the best decisions I ever made.  When we first put it on, he tried to grab out it, but after that, he was totally fine with it for the entire 3 months.  We saw a lot of improvement in the first few weeks and it worked great throughout the three months.  It didn’t bother him at all.  It was just like another piece of clothing to him.  He would wear it all night, take it off in the morning for a half hour to get ready, wear it all day until about 5:00.  We would take it off to play, take a bath, and get ready for bed and then would put it on for his sleep.  The first week his head sweated a lot, but then got used to it.  He wore it from November until February. (He wore it from 6 to 9 months)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were only a few people who asked about it in public and we just said he had a flat spot which the helmet will correct in a few months.  We were open with our friends and family and everyone agreed it was the best decision.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is now 10 months old and his head is practically normal.  The best thing is that we never need to worry about it again.  I am so happy I did it. I never wanted him to come home from school one day and ask me why other kids are making fun of his head.  I never wanted him to ask why we didn’t have him wear a helmet that he would never remember.  We never have to worry about it again I would recommend it to anyone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6989" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T00:39:15.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11704" CreationDate="2014-03-10T00:53:01.930" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hate to drink water too. I am not a toddler, but I know how she feels. I hate the way it sits in my stomach. Here are my suggestions (including a few from my mother that worked on toddler-me):  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;adjust the temp. She may not like cold water because it hurts her teeth, or some other reason. Try room temp instead. I actually can stand to drink an 8 oz glass of water that has been left out overnight (my husband refers to this as &quot;stale water&quot; but I think it tastes &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; pure after a day of resting) Or, perhaps it's not cold enough. Very cold water will hide any mineral or other 'flavors' the water may have.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try ice chips if she doesn't mind the cold. My kids love &quot;ice-slushies.&quot;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't force a whole glass or even a half. A sip here and there, repeated enough times, should suffice to keep her hydrated.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;forget water altogether. There are plenty of other sources of hydration. Fruits and veggies with a high water content, soups, decaffeinated teas, and milk are all good, healthy sources of fluid.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting around this age, they figure out they have control over what actually makes it into their mouth. They won't starve themselves or die of self inflicted thirst though, so just do the best you can. Start perfecting those compromising skills; you're going to need them ;)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case you are wondering, according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.in/x1016988/how-much-water-should-my-toddler-drink-every-day&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;babycenter&lt;/a&gt; you only need to get 1.3 liters (or about 4 cups) on average into her per day, and this includes intake from foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="7033" LastEditDate="2014-03-13T11:22:09.237" LastActivityDate="2014-03-13T11:22:09.237" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11707" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11717" CreationDate="2014-03-10T00:56:03.903" Score="23" ViewCount="23523" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps I am rushing a bit but I'd rather ask and get feedback rather than just let it slide. I've recently been working on teaching colors to my 2 year old daughter. She can say the common colors if repeating after me, but when I ask her to identify the color of an object, she always defaults to &quot;green&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? Is she perhaps confused about what I am asking her at this moment in time and I will see positive results later? When she gets one wrong, it's not like I get on to her or anything crazy like that. I just tell her the actual color, she repeats and we move on...and the next object is green too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I doing something wrong? Am I expecting too much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-11T23:57:48.740" LastActivityDate="2020-03-05T16:31:03.290" Title="How to teach a toddler to identify colors correctly?" Tags="|toddler|learning|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-10T01:08:07.063" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Color is a difficult thing to teach . . . they don't know that you're talking about a quality rather than an object. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kid: &quot;Hey, just a moment ago, they told me that was an elephant, and&#xA;now it's a grey. I'm so confused.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter got it all at once when we were driving at night. The traffic lights had no visible structure beyond a circle of light. When I asked her the colors as we crossed through town, she made the connection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kesley (as I imagine it in her mind): &quot;Ah! Red! Green! That's what&#xA;they mean!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll get it, and soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T01:08:07.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11561" CreationDate="2014-03-10T03:12:45.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First let me say that no response here is wrong.  In fact, they are all true and helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was young, I was always the outsider -- to family and friends.  It's part of my nature for various reasons.  So, I analyzed them all (again, part of my nature).  Parents, I saw, wanted largely to either 1) teach their children, or 2) control them.  Children, I saw, wanted largely to do what they wanted.  When children were forced with the choice of &lt;strong&gt;obey&lt;/strong&gt; or &lt;strong&gt;pay the consequences&lt;/strong&gt;, they all too often would choose to accept the consequences.  The flaw in the child's logic was that the consequences were those imposed by the parent (i.e. when a child heard, &quot;No&quot;, they interpreted it to be, &quot;Don't let me find out when you do.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took this analysis to heart and determined that I would have a different philosophy as a parent: I would think of my child not as a child, but as a future adult.  That necessarily implied that I would be responsible for training my child to think -- of the consequences, both positive and negative.  And, then, to make up their own mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my just-about-teen years, I distinctly recall telling my mother than I would &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; learn from her mistakes in all cases, but sometimes I would make my own mistakes and learn from them.  I understood even at such a young age that experience has no substitute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that blathering taken into account and many years since all that analytical thinking was formulated, I actually do parent with that philosophy.  My child is free to provide her thinking on things and I help her in considering the positive and negative consequences of the choice she is pondering (both in executing the choice and in not executing the choice).  Then she makes up her own mind.  The result?  I have never had to make the choice for her.  When she sees more of the full picture, she comes to a decision which imo reflects reasonability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, sometimes she has ventured out thinking that she is fit to make a decision without consultation.  Sometimes it succeeds and sometimes it doesn't.  But in both cases she always feels comfortable in coming to me and asking for help and additional guidance for the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Force &lt;em&gt;in an appropriate form&lt;/em&gt; is sometimes necessary, but imo our goal as parents is to raise a future adult who can think for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantages are numerous, but think of this as one scenario:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mid-teen wants to go to a party.  Is told no (perhaps with reasoning).  Decides to go anyway by sneaking out.  Is faced with the choice of coming home with someone drunk or by calling home and admitting the choice was bad.  That very scary and yet very real scenario stays in the back of my mind constantly -- I want her to feel perfectly comfortable in calling home b/c that is the right choice to make at the end of a bad series of choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether 4 years old or 14 years old, children are all future adults.  May we all raise them to be phenomenal!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And remember the saying from Dale Carnegie in &quot;How to Win Friends &amp;amp; Influence People&quot;: There's only one reason why any of us have done anything in our lives -- we wanted to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T03:12:45.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-10T03:40:14.817" Score="76" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are at least 2 sides to every issue.  There are also at least 2 sides in every war.  By destroying what she considers hers b/c she did not comply with your orders, in her eyes, the &quot;issue&quot; has become a &quot;war&quot; and you launched the first nuclear weapon, but it was a dud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you change her mind? No.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you adjust her clothing style? No. (She &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; find a way around draconian methods of control.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you achieve anything you wanted? No.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what can be answered with &quot;Yes&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she now pitted against you? Yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she now know to hide &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; she does from you? Yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will she trust the most stupid person in the world instead of you? Yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is not a toddler -- she's a young adult.  She violated no laws and was conforming to what she perceived as the standards for her generation.  You distanced yourself from her and, in her eyes, from her generation.  The chasm has been declared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is all lost?  I am grateful to say resolutely, &quot;No.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughters are and will always be our babies... whether they're 4 months, 4 years, or even 44 years... we'll remember every nuance (as we ought).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They clearly change over time, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but as parents we must always be there for them -- in the good and bad.  So you disagree with her choice of clothing -- does it &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; matter?  So you disagree with her hair style -- does it &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; matter?  So you disagree with her choice in _ _ _ issue -- does it &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; matter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At her age you can give advice, suggest alternatives, help with her thought process, and support her growth, but control, dictatorship, supremacy is no longer yours to be had.  She is a free-willed spirit now, beyond your control in anything but the minor issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Women voting?  Non-whites speaking as free people?  Indentured persons being treated as equals?  Just decades ago, the answer to those questions would be, &quot;Are you crazy!?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had made a mistake as significant as yours, I would sit down with her, apologize, tell her the reasons, accept my error, and correct it... and then make damn sure she knows that I am willing to do so because I care about her so much (and for that very same reason I took the initial actions.)  It will show what a true adult will do: admit their mistakes and take responsibility for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't (as is your choice), then you are choosing to accept the consequences of a daughter who will no longer be with you in spirit, but still serve as your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your actions serve no constructive end, please ask yourself this: Did I raise a slave?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the answer is &quot;No&quot; (it is a firm &quot;No&quot; to her!), then your choice has been laid out before you to make.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4745&lt;/strong&gt; Greater than the number of days she will be under your control and a timer to when her control over her life without any non-legal interference begins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you were reading this, that number got smaller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-03-10T20:40:47.543" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T20:40:47.543" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11681" CreationDate="2014-03-10T04:15:22.873" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really like balanced mama's response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider is that it could be both.  I, for example, have ADHD and am Bipolar and yet graduated with a degree in Mathematics Magna Cum Laude (before I was diagnosed with the other stuff).  Gifted programs don't mean &quot;targeted-at-my-child's-needs programs&quot;  Perhaps it's too little?  Using myself as an example again, I used to read through all the books, do some additional research, and complete a course in the first few months b/c I was too bored with the stuff they were presenting &lt;em&gt;at the rate&lt;/em&gt; they were presenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, how to figure out the right combo of education, therapy, or attribution-to-natural-causes is something I'm not sure of, but it's most likely a combination of 2 or 3 of them.  Medication where it's not appropriate is just as bad as non-medication when appropriate.  I know my psychiatrist, for example, is addamant about proper regular-life attributes (sleeping, tv-watching, eating, etc.) being correct before any medication can even be considered.  Finding such a therapist would be ideal in terms of precluding one of those 3 elements.  It took me a long time to find the right combo of things for me, though, so patience and diligence will be key characteristics in obtaining the correct solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish your family the best in finding what's right for your son!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T04:15:22.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11694" CreationDate="2014-03-10T04:22:29.580" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In such a country what you say must be said very cautiously in consideration of the fact that it may be repeated and repeated incorrectly.  There are much-less-serious conditions where I live so I cannot say that I can fully address nor appropriately address your concerns, but here is what I &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; may be useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;People in charge have a lot of things to do and what we need is not always what they can focus on, so it is best to come to your parents for help because we love you and our job is to focus on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Such a statement imo says nothing overtly or indirectly negative about the police force, addresses the need to inform the child of how to handle things, does not lie, and keeps things simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sincerely hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T04:22:29.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2014-03-10T04:27:48.287" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pack carefully. Preferably with a cabin bag that has lots of separate, easily-accessible compartments. Don't try to do anything for yourself when the baby is asleep, apart from sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience is (so far) mostly with a younger child (3-6 months) and while at that age they're less mobile (and therefore generally easier to travel with) one of the biggest (and most avoidable) problems we had was that all the toys, feeding equipment and changing paraphernalia were distributed across three different bags, stuffed into the overhead locker. Inevitably, whatever you need to placate / clean / feed the child will be stuck behind somebody else's bag, if you can even get up to the locker to open it (as typically the seatbelt light will come on / the drink cart will block the aisle / something else inconvenient will happen five minutes before your child needs something).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore if you can minimise the amount of stuff you need to pack so it will fit into one bag (ideally something that will fit under the seat in front of you) you'll find travel less stressful. We ended up with no possessions of our own in the bag that we had in the cabin, after several trips where I'd over-optimistically packed reading material, a laptop to work on while the baby was asleep, and so on, none of which were any use until after we'd disembarked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T04:27:48.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11675" CreationDate="2014-03-10T04:44:31.990" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am &lt;em&gt;so&lt;/em&gt; glad I found your question!  I have been in 3 mathematics competitions in my life (I have a BA in Mathematics, Magna Cum Laude).  Additionally, I have competed in other competitions from computer programming to spelling... &lt;em&gt;none&lt;/em&gt; of them are like any others and they all cause a different type of anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more one knows about mathematics, the more one knows that they will never be a Leonard Euler (he disproved one of Fermat's theorems while blind, invented the symbol &lt;em&gt;i&lt;/em&gt; for the square root of negative one and... well, just name it!)  We hear people talk about the previous events, know a bit about math, and the more our knowledge grows, the more we fear that Euler will be there (in his next form, ofc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The chance of him winning is too small (at least in his view).  However, that should only be a secondary goal.  During 2 of the 3 competitions (the last one I won b/c I was the only person who showed up!), I received questions about things I'd never heard of... and I remembered those to help me grow.  His point at attending should be 3 fold:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Meet other people like him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn what he can&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have fun&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do his best (and, ofc, win if possible)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can comfort him most, imo, by letting him know that you're proud he's able to go and are excited that he'll meet people who enjoy the same things as he does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes anxiety isn't well-placed.  In this case it is.  Accepting that to him and encouraging him to enjoy the experience and get the most from it is the best way to go because that's how he'll get the best benefit from the event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Competing in a competition doesn't necessarily provide the solution we were looking for, but may provide an unsought solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, it can't hurt to share with him what one of the best math professors I ever had the chance to chat with told our class: &lt;strong&gt;Mathematicians do not solve hard problems.  They re-write them as easy problems and solve those. (Dr. Charles Biles)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T04:44:31.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-10T04:50:55.453" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's normal, and you're expecting too much.  &lt;strong&gt;Colors are hard&lt;/strong&gt;, for a variety of reasons explained in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-johnny-name-colors/&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Colors are not a thing like a &quot;ball&quot; or a &quot;dog&quot;, but a property of a thing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Colors are societal construct interpreted differently in different languages, with lots of &lt;em&gt;gray&lt;/em&gt; areas even within a language (is that particular shade red or orange?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;English has the unhelpful feature of placing adjectives before nouns, which makes them even harder for kids to understand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All told, your kid's doing OK if she can reliably recognize one (1) color by the time they're three, and it's not unusual for six-year-olds to still have trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T04:50:55.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-10T05:15:39.160" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should also consider that 2-year-olds often don't react as expected when quizzed.  My son (almost 3) is pretty intelligent for his age, but if I ask him what he did today, no matter what we did, he &quot;played cars and trains&quot;.  If I ask him what he had for lunch, it was &quot;macaroni and cheese&quot;.  He seems to find an answer that is a valid answer &lt;em&gt;sometimes&lt;/em&gt;, and uses it every time that question is asked, because he doesn't really understand the concepts being discussed (in particular, he doesn't really understand 'past' and 'future', as most kids don't at that age).  He knows what he did, but he doesn't know how to discuss it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So your daughter may know the colors, but not know to correlate the idea of a green thing being green to being asked 'what color is this?'.  To help that along, I would recommend having multiple identical objects of different colors - for my son, it was colorful wooden alphabet blocks with pictures on one side of animals along with alphabet/numbers - and then just talk about how this is the 'green' block and this is the 'blue' block, etc.  Differentiating objects by their color helps to explain the concept that objects 'have' colors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T05:15:39.160" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11662" CreationDate="2014-03-10T08:15:10.020" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old has an unusually strong attachment to her great grandfather -- her mother's grandpa. I call it unusual because she never met the man. Nor did I. He passed away several years before her mother and I ever met. Yet she hears stories about him from her mother, and specifically asked &amp;quot;Nana&amp;quot; for a picture of her &amp;quot;great-grandfather who has wings now.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her mother dutifully explained that great-grandpa lives in Heaven, and he has wings now. My daughter asked if she missed him, and she responded &amp;quot;Yes, I miss him very much,&amp;quot; to which my daughter asked why she doesn't go see him? &amp;quot;Heaven is &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; far away,&amp;quot; she replied, to which my daughter heart-wrenchingly replied matter-of-factly&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's okay Mommy, you can go to Heaven and see him if you miss him. Daddy will take good care of me while you're gone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't understand -- as no child would understand when using such soft language. Months later, when she was looking at a picture of great-grandpa and great-grandma, she turned to me (her mother was at work) and asked if I could tell her a story about them. I told her &amp;quot;I'm sorry honey, I never met your great-grandparents before they died.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;THEY DIED?!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot; she screeched at the top of her lungs and bawled for an hour. She was inconsolable. She knew he was in heaven, and had his wings, and that he was very old, but no one had ever told her that these things meant that he was dead. She understood death as a concept (if perhaps not as a permanent state -- &amp;quot;permanency&amp;quot; remains a difficult concept to grasp for children), but had no reason to equate the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was sniffley about it for a week, and I finally confronted her as she was abnormally quiet. I pulled her in close and asked her to tell me what was making her so sad lately. She told me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried about what will happen when I die, daddy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told her she didn't have to worry about that for a long long long time, and that great-grandpa was &lt;strong&gt;much&lt;/strong&gt; older even than mommy and daddy and even than &amp;quot;Nana&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;Papa&amp;quot; are when they died. She sniffled a little and confessed &amp;quot;But my toys will be so sad when I die and leave them all alone!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Conclusion:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Death is a natural thing. It &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; happen to someone your child is close to. If not a family member, then a friend of the family, a pet, or even a favorite character from a book or TV show. Kids are capable of handling this. Don't be afraid to have a frank discussion with your child, even if it's difficult to explain the details. At the end of the day, your job as a parent is to prepare your child for the hard things they'll have to face, and one of those things is the death of a loved one. I can't imagine a reason to let them get hit by the truck rather than teaching them what may be coming down the road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6992" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-04-01T16:26:22.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11662" CreationDate="2014-03-10T12:27:44.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Technically about the age of 9-10, but that - as always - depends on the kid. But sometimes you are faced with it and can't avoid it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general ignoring the concept of death is a protective mechanism so kids don't think about their greatest horror: the death of their parents. When faced with death, it is ok to tell them what happened and to mention that this is something normal (and peaceful) that everyone eventually faces. But always include that you, as parents, of course won't die for a long long time, as if it was something you are able to choose to do at a moment where everything is done. You basically promise them to not die.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When faced with traumatic situations like the death of one of the parents or a very close friend, kids tend to try to protect others (parents, friends) from death and can get really crazy about this. In some really traumatic cases psychological help is needed, in others the protective ignorance kicks in and they get over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T12:27:44.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-10T12:31:48.773" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The difficulty for the child to understand is that colors are something abstract, so something they cannot take into their hands and play with. But at this age touching something is an important factor in learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An idea would be to get colored plastic sheets (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subtractive_color&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;yellow, magenta, cyan&lt;/a&gt;) and show them what happens when you look through them. This allows your child to actually play with something in his/her hands, and makes the abstract concept graspable, so to speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T12:31:48.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-10T12:48:31.370" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;There was an age where mini-skirts as in the image you posted were considered outrageous, and those who wore it would for sure go to hell. It turned out that it wasn't that dramatic, and nowadays parents even consider those a standard. Times change and so do clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to have a look at the other girls in her class to check for yourself how they dress. Maybe you do that together with your daughter, so she can comment on it and you can openly and on a fair basis discuss that with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it turns out that she is right, and everyone dresses like she said, then maybe you should ask yourself what is the greater harm: her wearing clothes that do not comply with &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; idea of dressing, or her being mobbed by her classmates for dressing &quot;like in the 60'ies&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it turns out she just wants to walk around &quot;half-naked&quot; to impress boys, and the other girls don't dress as she told you, then this would be a point to discuss as well: how to impress boys using the mind and not the body. In this case you should maybe address her fears to be left out from those who find &quot;the one they truly love forever and ever&quot;. And how unrealistic that idea is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end you maybe find a compromise if you discuss that with your daughter on a fair and open basis, once she knows you took her serious and took interest in her version of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T12:48:31.370" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11704" CreationDate="2014-03-10T12:52:59.713" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general toddlers do drink and eat enough for them to survive as long as something is available, so unless there is some very unrealistic and rare disease, there is no need to worry about that. However survive and optimal are different things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids usually love everything sweet, so instead of pure water, you might want to add something to it that changes the taste enough for her to no longer consider it water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T12:52:59.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11675" CreationDate="2014-03-10T13:06:24.383" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The general concept is to teach your son that failing is not a problem, but something everyone does every day, and in the end it is only a variation of learning. Technically you should try to associate that potential failure with something positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is: what is your son afraid of? Failing in front of others or failing you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is the first, you should tell your son a story from your life, when you were in a similar situation and then everything went as horrible as you feared in your worst nightmares. But then out of that failure something really good emerged, like you found your best friend, a girl, won a competition out of surprise. Anything goes where out of failure something positive emerged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is afraid of failing you, then you should talk to him and explain why you as parents have an unconditional love for him and no matter what happens, you'll still love him as before. And to &quot;proof&quot; that, promise your son to do something great if he wins, and something even better if he looses. Like waterpark on win and Disney World on loose. Just don't do this too often. You want to teach your son that loosing a test is like loosing a board game, and not that loosing in general is something desirable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T13:06:24.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11724" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-10T14:22:43.593" Score="2" ViewCount="2399" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to figure out when it makes sense to transition my son (and daughter, eventually) from Lego to Duplo (or the equivalent generic blocks).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I'm focused on the age at which children have the manual dexterity, fine motor strength, and focus to work with the smaller pieces.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; concerned about choking risk, which is why the recommended ages on the boxes are of little help - they're almost always driven by the unsupervised &quot;put it in your mouth&quot; risk, and I'm interested in situations with a high degree of supervision &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; a child who no longer puts non-food items in his mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T02:24:24.290" Title="What's the right (average) age to transition from Duplo to Lego?" Tags="|development|toys|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-10T14:32:43.693" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read about a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.people.vcu.edu/~djbromle/color04/melissa/evolcolterm.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; that seems to imply that certain colors are easier to understand than others. They tracked primitive cultures' names for colors and found a natural sequence:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/TgmxP.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;color progression&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though I haven't seen this applied specifically to parenting, it does seem to imply that a child would be best served by learning light-dark distinction first, then learn to distinguish red, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6999" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T14:32:43.693" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-10T16:05:45.707" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pick the colors you want to teach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get some magnetic fridge magnets in that color.  Let's say they are dog shaped&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put them on the Fridge&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him to go get the 'Red dog'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he comes back with the red one, praise him, throw him up in the air, hug em.  Say &quot;Yes, this one is Red!.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Now go get me the blue Dog&quot;...&#xA;Rinse repeat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he comes back with the wrong one, point out that it is a dog, but it is a green one&#xA;instead of the pink one.   Can you find me the pink one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Positive feedback on a find.&#xA;Good feedback with correction on a miss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is how my daughter learned her colors and numbers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was fun too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7001" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T16:05:45.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11681" CreationDate="2014-03-10T16:33:47.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;ADHD is difficult to diagnose, so before going that way make sure to consult a real expert beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the transition to puberty, many male kids become hyperactive and slightly more aggressive, which is usually part of a hormone change and can be considered all fine. Of course you still need to teach them to behave properly, but that's on a different page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son doesn't behave on a gifted school, it might be his way of expressing that he doesn't like it. It might be a good idea to speak with your son about that school, what he likes and what he doesn't like. Maybe its just a simple thing, like he is missing his friends, or doesn't like a specific teacher. Maybe he feels pushed too much or you are not commending him enough or make him feel like you are not taking enough interest in what he is doing. Children at that age don't do things because they plan their future career, they do things to get their parents to be proud of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there are many reasons for the behavior of your son which are difficult to determine from your text, sometimes if children are diagnosed to be hyperactive in reality are perfectly fine kids who just need a few more honest hugs every now and then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T16:33:47.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11648" CreationDate="2014-03-10T18:29:38.200" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing to teach a child at this age is your true and unconditional love towards him. Even if he doesn't understand the words you're saying, he will understand your expression, sound and actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this might sound a bit esoteric at first, children in their first years base everything on whether or not they receive love from their parents for an action or not. Even later (teen an upward) it makes a huge difference between a strong and motivated child or one that is depressed and unmotivated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that you should follow the usual things suitable for children at that age, they are usually developed by experts who know what is suitable for a child at a certain age. Children learn best if all senses are included while doing so. Seeing a picture of a dog is one thing, having a book with those pictures on buttons that when pressed will play the sound of a barking dog (see, touch, hear) is better, letting him play with a real dog is best (with an appropriate dog for his age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to overstimulate him. It is often hard to understand that children at that age can get easily confused if to many things are presented to him. While a single, calm dog in an otherwise empty room is great, putting him together with 20 barking and running dogs might scare him. Use your empathy to understand what your son is able to take and don't get over-zealous. Should he - for some reason - in the end not be the next Nobel-prize winner, remember the most important thing: &lt;em&gt;unconditional&lt;/em&gt; love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T18:29:38.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11730" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-10T18:41:39.677" Score="1" ViewCount="257" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are trying to figure out when to start our child in regards to kindergarten and would like feedback.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our concerns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;he is a couple weeks ahead of cutoff so if we start him as normal he will probably be the youngest kid in his class&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;in our area it is normal for parents to keep their children back even when meeting the cut-off be a couple months.  So not only could he be the youngest but several kids will be over a year older.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;per Obama's leave no child behind mandate, no matter what we as parent's think or how our child performs, he will assuredly be passed to 1st grade by the school.  He would be in a good school district that basically won't hold anyone back (even if wanted).  So we fear that it is a long-term decision.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;he will be learning another language which will not be supported by the school.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;he will be active in sports and other activities.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have concerns about him being the youngest in his class and my wife has concerns that he will be though of as &quot;dumb&quot; if he is one of the oldest.  Also I have read that there are issues through 3-4th grade with kids learning two languages when one is not supported by the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7004" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T19:59:05.337" Title="When should my multi-lingual child start kindergarten?" Tags="|pre-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11681" CreationDate="2014-03-10T18:55:25.473" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in gifted programs all through out school.  My principal also had a large book filled up with all of our &quot;meetings&quot;.  He sent the book and I to the middle school on the last Monday of school, and told the principal I was his problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem was really easy.  I was bored.  So I found ways of amusing myself.  Most of the time this was at the expense of other students.  Some of the time the teacher said I was hyper or had ADD - before this was common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was really easy.  I became more active.  I physically wore myself out and therefore was less of a nuisance to others when I finished my work faster or was bored.  I ran a lot, got involved in lots of sports, I was doing something all the time...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prescribed the same medicine to my kids before turning to doctors for drugs - when they are not even sure about the drug or diagnosis.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My teachers helped too.  They had me start doing special projects and programming.  If your son runs a couple miles, has to do his work, and special projects, come back and ask the same question after he worn out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent you might think this is awfully hard on the kid.  Maybe at first but he will grow to like/love the routine.  His brain needs it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7004" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T18:55:25.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11733" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11741" CreationDate="2014-03-10T22:27:19.773" Score="14" ViewCount="1038" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have had success with a form of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc?showAll=true&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;cry it out&quot; strategy&lt;/a&gt; with our three children.  I know it's &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3584/is-the-cry-it-out-approach-harmful&quot;&gt;not for everyone&lt;/a&gt;, but our household has gotten into some healthy sleep patterns without long periods of crying.  If it's possible for anyone to be successful with the technique, we have been.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we have children that generally sleep through the night and a bedtime routine that works well for us.  But occasionally &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr1VCT2ntmc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;relatives come&lt;/a&gt; or we visit them, which inevitably disrupts the routine.  As a result, our infant twins have difficulty falling asleep and cry more than usual. For one particular relative, even a few minutes of fussing is beyond endurance and she will want to comfort our babies until they (or she) falls asleep.  That would be fine with us if it didn't mean another 2 or 3 nights of readjustment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of our visitors are understanding; our babies cry a little more than usual when we have company.  But other people assume our children cry &lt;em&gt;much longer&lt;/em&gt; than they normally do as a result of something akin to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_effect_(physics)&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;observer effect&lt;/a&gt;. How can we explain our technique to people who believe it is wrong or cruel to even temporarily withhold comfort from a crying baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2017-10-02T04:47:53.860" Title="How can we explain our &quot;cry it out&quot; strategy to people who oppose it?" Tags="|infant|bedtime|crying|extended-family|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-10T22:46:52.670" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are the parent and you do have the final say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, it's always good to pick your battles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she an otherwise good daughter? Good student? Then perhaps you are a bit too hung up on this one issue. I'd suggest that this is a battle that you find a truce on. She needs to add a few inches, but perhaps you can give up a few inches. That way both sides are sacrificing a bit to come to a happy middle ground. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if this is indicative of other behavior problems, maybe there's much more to this than just arguing about skirt lengths. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T22:46:52.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11681" CreationDate="2014-03-10T22:52:12.333" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child has ADD, a gifted program can actually exasperate the problem. It depends on the program, of course, but many focus heavily on 'book learning'. So lots of reading, lots of writing papers, lots of 'sitting still and pondering' type of work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be a nightmare for anyone with ADD (I can personally attest to that. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many teachers are well versed in ADD and if they are hinting at it, it may very well be something you want to look into further. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Medication is certainly a viable option. But not the only option. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ADD isn't a necessarily a problem--but certainly can be if the ADD mind isn't put into an environment that can allow it to do what it does best. So one option may be to consider a different learning environment. Curriculums that are more flexible, hands on, activity based, and/or project based can accommodate the ADD brain a bit better than the 'read this and do your homework' model. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the first step is to go down the path of figuring out what might be the issue. Get some ADD screening and go from there. Talk to a few professionals that can explain both medicine and non-medicine adaptive options that you can begin to consider. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T22:52:12.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11730" CreationDate="2014-03-10T22:58:03.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the kid. And, frustratingly, it depends on the kid 5 years from now. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put ours in early. He's one of the youngest in his class. At the time, he needed it. As a pre-teenager, though, we do see why some hold kids back. It's tough at puberty when everyone else is maturing slightly ahead of you. It can be awkward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have we damaged him for life? No. I don't think so. But in hindsight...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, though...we can't say. It really does come down to your own take on the child. Worse case, you can always hold him back a year if he's not excelling through kindergarten. Better to hold back now than later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for being multi-lingual, I wouldn't worry too much about that at all. The fact that he is multi-lingual at this age means he's figured it out. The young brain is surprisingly open to languages at this age (hence why language emersion programs start at this age). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T22:58:03.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-10T23:05:36.857" Score="8" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Here's the good things:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, you set a standard to maintain. That's great. The child has concrete and clear lines of what is expected of her. Straying beyond these requirements is a sign that she does not trust your wisdom. That is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; an excuse to act out beyond the requirements though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, you enforced the standard. You told her what is expected, she didn't follow it, thus the consequences were brought forth. Perhaps your methodology could be perceived as &quot;brazen and hasty&quot; by some, but in the end, you have the final say. You're the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Here's the bad things:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've all heard the classic &quot;if they all jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?&quot; The articles of clothing her friends' parents allow are non of yours' or your daughter's concern. You are the provider for her. She is dependent upon you for survival until, at least, to the age of 18 (if you are States dwellers). The &quot;my house, my rules&quot; still applies unless she would prefer to chip in on room and board. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While making her wear ankle length skirts could make her a social pariah, perhaps she should have listened to your guidance from the very beginning. I was friends with a girl in high school who wore ankle-length denim or cotton skirts every single day. She was one of the most popular girls in school because she didn't draw attention to the fact that she had to wear those items. If she would stop making a big deal of it, the attention would be drawn away from it, and she may have a better time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I don't think length of skirt is the issue here. She's seeking to test you; to test what measures you will take to ensure enforcement. Don't give in. Stay steadfast in your guidance. She may not like it now, hell, she may not like it in the future, but at least you'll show her that people should expect something of her rather than just giving her the world at the first complaint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-10T23:12:51.407" LastActivityDate="2014-03-10T23:12:51.407" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11724" CreationDate="2014-03-11T02:24:24.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started moving our son from Duplo to Lego at age 4. There was a significant overlap and he will still play with Duplo now (he is almost 6). We tend to concentrate on buildings since you tend to get the car kits for birthdays (he got two helicopters last birthday). He was able to do a Lego house kit at 4.5 with assistance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next transition is from Lego to Technics - I'm guessing this is at least another year or more away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T02:24:24.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11730" CreationDate="2014-03-11T04:31:11.203" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was born on the school year cusp, but I started her when she was just about the age for kindergarten.  At 14 now, she's doing just fine, though most everyone is older than her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid, they offered skipping a grade to me.  I refused b/c I did not want to be the smallest, nerdiest kid in class.  I got through it all, earned my BA and was teased all along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what you do, kids will have issues during schooling.  We all have &quot;issues&quot;, tbh, no matter our age.  &lt;em&gt;That&lt;/em&gt; we have them is not as relevant as &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; we handle them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; be prepared for what is to come.  That, too, is irrelevant.  Why?  Because they are &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; child and you are as prepared as can be to help them in viewing and handling things in a constructive manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the time I was a child, I did not respect age.  I respected intelligence and wisdom.  If you feel your child is ready for kindergarten based on all you know about your child, then your child is ready, with you at the stead to help, guide, and strengthen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, Bush's NCLB act doesn't make kids get passed on to the next grade.  Its performance penalty for well-performing schools to pass them on, sends on those who aren't ready.  Its performance bonus for non-performing schools also sends those on who aren't ready.  &lt;em&gt;But&lt;/em&gt;, with your guidance neither of these two scenarios need be the case... it's like I've told all of my daugther's teachers: I'm her penultimate teacher and you help me out along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, whether he speaks one language or 100 languages does not matter in the choice of beginning kindergarten (though will be quite helpful later on.)  And, knowing more than one language generally makes it easier to acquire other languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T04:31:11.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11733" CreationDate="2014-03-11T04:39:41.970" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you are not withholding comfort.  You are allowing them to express themselves in a way which requires them to handle the issue without forming a dependency.  Being comforting is not the same thing for every child and every situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For relatives, they likely have children.  That being the case, I'd ask them if any 2 of the children were able to be raised in exactly the same way.  Undoubtedly the ultimate answer (all BS aside) will be that each child is unique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once that admission has been gained, you can then point out that each parenting technique is different.  For you and your parnter, allowing your children to work through their expressions  is something you have found to be productive and effective (I wouldn't call it the &quot;cry it out&quot; &lt;em&gt;strategy&lt;/em&gt; -- that just alludes to &quot;I don't care&quot; strategy in my view, making your explanation harder for them to accept).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, what's above is the kind way of putting it to them.  Another way is this: They are my children, I am not hurting them, and in my opinion I am helping them in the near or far term, so accept it or you are welcome to leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I take my family's advice and opinions in raising my daughter, but I don't allow them to interfere with my decisions.  I do, however, prefer a kind attitude before becoming brusque where (very rarely!) necessary. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T04:39:41.970" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11701" CreationDate="2014-03-11T04:50:56.747" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever you hold a human being by an appendage or 2 and then whirl them around, you create substantial force on their body, proportional to the rotational velocity at which you are spinning them.  While this can be done at various ages, declaring it as &quot;safe&quot; is a non-starter.  Any number of odd events could happen causing you to lose sufficient focus on the task at hand and jeopardize her safety (I'm &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; saying you would willingly do that b/c if you're like me, I'd hurt myself well before allowing my daughter to be hurt!), but &quot;accident&quot; isn't about the planned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, all that security warning ahead, I'd say you can kind-of get away with it at a year or so, but the real question is at what age you shouldn't do it (wouldn't want someone doing that to you now, right? lol!)  I used to let my daughter climb up the front of me and flip over backwards (best description I can think of for it, so hope you have an idea of what I mean).  That stopped when she got big enough that I wasn't 100% sure of my balance (and hence her safety).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Final comment from a hyper-cautious parent: Don't forget that angular motion moves everything in the body outward, so the brain gets pushed out against the skull (depending on the strength of rotational force), too.  Just be very, very, very careful if you find you &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T04:50:56.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11743" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-11T11:22:47.353" Score="5" ViewCount="784" Body="&lt;p&gt;Five-year-old fever: that's what her teacher calls it.  I'm calling it (IN MY HEAD) the &quot;F*** You Fives.&quot;  Apparently this is something that almost all of her peers are going through; if I had a nickel for every time I've run into another parent who exclaims &quot;OMG I thought I was the only one!&quot; when they relate their horror stories and I commiserate...  Apologies for the wall o' text below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;tl;dr: how do I get my 5-yr-old past these daily tantrums?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So she's having daily tantrums.  Usually at night, but not always.  And they are full-blown &quot;I hate you! I want to punch you in the face! I wish you were dead&quot; scream fits.  This is not language we use in our house, btw, and the kids never watch anything other than toddler pablum like Thomas and other cartoons, so this stuff comes from another environment (school, most likely).  The one thing that's in common for every tantrum is not getting her way: if her cousin can't come over, tantrum.  If her brother doesn't want to share his favorite truck, tantrum. If we refuse to allow her to eat candy before dinner, tantrum.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we've tried: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We've taken away all electronic media and toys indefinitely, for both kids (and are definitely seeing an improvement in the 3-yr-old; going TV-free has been a boon for him, regardless of how this turns out).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She gets between 11-12 hours of sleep a night and we TRY to ensure she has a good diet (she's very picky and we're vegan, but last visit to the pediatrician (about two months ago) her blood tests were just fine, even for B12).  So yes, the doc says physically she's fine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We've cut out extra-curricular activities other than piano lessons, so she doesn't get too exhausted (we noticed an uptick in tantrums on the nights after tae kwon do, even though we were home 90 minutes before bedtime).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When this happens, I do my DAMNEDEST to remain calm and unemotional, and try to talk her through this. &quot;So where would you go if you didn't live here?  Oh really?  How would you buy a house? Where would you find food?&quot; etc.  If she's mad because someone didn't do something she thinks they should have (or vice versa) I try to ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed (this discussion happens after the screaming has dwindled down).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I will take her to her room if she's just out to scream, but that rarely works well; she pounds at me and kicks the whole way, and either comes blasting out of her room the moment I close the door, or trashes her room to the extent she's able/willing to (last time she threw her pillows on the floor, and some rocks she's collected).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do have a (to my eyes, at least) rather tight schedule; the kids have to get up in time for one of us to take them to separate schools (no bus comes here, since she's in a magnet school), and she has homework (even in Kindergarten) most nights.  We try to do a big chunk on the weekends, when she has time to focus, and she sails through it.  She also has to read every night, and she balks at both those strenuously.  (She doesn't like reading very much at all yet, unless she's in my lap at night, and for several reasons that doesn't always happen.  Especially not THESE nights.)   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either I'm missing something, or I just need to find my own peace with this stage.  Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2014-03-11T13:35:40.853" LastActivityDate="2019-02-05T20:13:14.520" Title="Five-year-old fever: what's the cure?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-11T12:43:34.970" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do like my stepfather did with my stepbrother:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Requirements:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 bag of M &amp;amp; M's or similar colored treats.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A little patience&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, tell your child they will get the M&amp;amp;M's they correctly identify the color of. In your case, it will turn out like this: &quot;Green, green, green, green....... Red? Yellow? Blue? Blue, blue, blue, blue...... Red? Yellow? Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow.&quot; Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Rewards can be powerful.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7011" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T12:43:34.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11743" CreationDate="2014-03-11T12:50:01.947" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question is: is there something that really bothers your daughter enough to throw these tantrums, or is it just a phase thats over next month? You should try to figure that out. Sometimes there are very well hidden issues that are hard to find and even harder to find for the parents, so if this gets worse you might want to check with a psychologist. They often - thanks to their distant point of view - are able to point out issues very precisely and very fast. But don't get crazy on this, it might in fact just be a phase that happens for no real reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I can see from here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your different style in raising your children might cause your daughter to feel left outside. Maybe she has troubles to find friends or play with other kids because of those differences. You might want to talk to her about how she gets along with others.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You need to have the authority (and the willpower) to make clear rules. If what she does is not acceptable to you, then don't discuss with her about it, instead state your facts. If she &quot;threatens&quot; to leave your home, just shake your head say &quot;Stop talking nonsense&quot;. Don't open up for her to attack in any way. Your daughter is still in an age where she moves mentally only in the space you give her. Make sure that you are very precise on where she is allowed to &quot;move&quot; and where not.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is angry for some reason and that anger needs a vent to come out. You should make sure that there is one outside of what you currently experience. You already said its better on days when she has her tae kwon do lessons, maybe she needs more activities where she can convert her rage into something else. You might want to look together with her for other activities that she likes. Maybe painting so she can express her anger visually? Or jogging so she can run-out her rage?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T12:50:01.947" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11701" CreationDate="2014-03-11T12:52:04.910" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think I'd recommend doing this at all. I've seen that move go awry before and all the screaming and bruising kind of turned me off to ever trying it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Might I recommend an alternative?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At around 1 years old you can try this and they will have just as much fun. Instead of by the arm and leg, you just grab the child underneath the armpits firmly and spin them around like you would in an office chair. This ensures a firmer grip and this also ensures that their head is closer to the center of the spin rather than further out. It should go without saying but make sure you have the room to do it. This will ensure that you don't spend 15 minutes pretending you are playing doctor and fixing their little boo-boos (for lack of a better word).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T12:52:04.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11730" CreationDate="2014-03-11T13:03:14.587" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids adapt very fast to their surroundings, so the most common thing would be that your kid has some trouble the first one or two month, but then will be on about the same level. Just make sure you're there for him during that time and keep an extra open ear out for any issues so you can support him properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids also learn languages at that age very well, and it would be a surprise if your child has troubles learning two languages at the same time. You might have to do some training with him so he gets the differences right (not confusing vocabulary), but in general this shouldn't be an issue at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T13:03:14.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11743" CreationDate="2014-03-11T14:17:56.557" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people swear by the &quot;1-2-3 Magic&quot; method (search on Amazon for the book) as a tantrum antidote.  Good luck to you, although it sounds like you're doing lots of things right, and this too shall pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2419" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T14:17:56.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11749" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-11T14:41:13.113" Score="5" ViewCount="551" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously, depending on what your specific needs and concerns are, you'll need to tailor your questions to that situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, in my experience interviewing candidates for different types of jobs, I've learned there are a number of questions that are &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more effective in assessing candidates for a given role:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For any job requiring initiative, I ask the candidate to tell me about something they get passionate about outside of work.  (If you can't get passionate about something you love at home, you won't likely muster it at work).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For any job requiring self-organization, I ask candidates for &lt;em&gt;examples&lt;/em&gt; of things they've done in the past to stay organized.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I care about how much someone will prepare for a given work situation, I ask them their strengths and weaknesses (which are crap ways to learn someone's strengths and weaknesses, but anyone &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; a well-thought out answer has done roughly nothing to prepare for typical interview questions).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you're considering a surgeon to work on you, the key question is generally believed to be &quot;how many times have you done this specific procedure?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the key questions that one should ask a nanny or full-time babysitter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-04T13:12:36.920" LastActivityDate="2019-03-04T15:58:07.130" Title="What standard questions should one ask when interviewing a nanny?" Tags="|babysitting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11733" CreationDate="2014-03-11T15:09:30.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is to not refer to it as a &quot;cry it out&quot; technique.  The phrase has some significant negative connotations, and the implication that children are just left to cry until they pass out is not an accurate description of many (most) of the variations that fall under that umbrella.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you refer to it as &quot;sleep training&quot;, or avoid labeling it at all by simply saying &quot;this is how we have decided to do it&quot;, it may be more palatable for relatives or visitors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That won't help much for the one relative who insists on going in and picking up the babies as soon as they start to cry, though.  This may possibly be more a function of her wanting to hold the babies than any implicit criticism of your decisions.  In any case, your best bet for this may simply be to say &quot;no, you relax; we've got this,&quot; and then either you or your partner then goes into the room where the babies are sleeping, closes the door, and employ a variation of your preferred method that doesn't involve you actually leaving the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may not be ideal, but it should be less disruptive than having your relative actually hold the babies until they fall asleep.  It also politely, but firmly, establishes that you will take care of it, while removing the relative from the situation enough that she should be less able to criticise your choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T15:09:30.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11733" CreationDate="2014-03-11T15:59:44.453" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did not use &quot;cry it out&quot; but we followed other strategies that some relatives didn't. Frankly, it's impossible not to: between how long the child nurses for, cloth vs disposable, using a walker or not, how they go to sleep, how often they have a bath, what solid food you introduce first and so on it is simply a statistical impossibility that you did everything the same as every relative. Even for the &quot;important&quot; choices it is not possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So. My approach is NOT to convince these people that your way is right, or even that it is right for your children. I know this sounds counter-intuitive. After all, you're doing it because it's right, and they're interfering because they think it isn't right, so if you just fix their misconception, they'll stop interfering, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But no. They are interfering because &lt;strong&gt;they think their opinion is relevant&lt;/strong&gt;. It is actually easier to convince even very close relatives that their opinion is not relevant than to get them to change that opinion. It's more pleasant, too. Instead of barraging them with arguments about why they are wrong (and possibly even were wrong when raising one of you) you simply remind them that &lt;strong&gt;you are the parents and this is what you are doing&lt;/strong&gt;. You thank them for their advice if advice is being offered. You reassure them of the baby's health and happiness if they seem to be worried about that. And you stick firmly to the position of &quot;this is what we have decided to do in our family.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This worked wonders with a relative who felt that four months was the longest a baby should get any breastmilk at all and was seriously perturbed that weaning wasn't even started yet, much less completed, as each of my children reached that age. We didn't tell her any facts, studies, or doctor opinions. We didn't rebut her facts and studies and decades earlier doctor opinions. We just said things like &quot;I know&quot; and &quot;I remember you telling me that&quot; and just kept right on raising our own children. When asked &quot;aren't you going to wean soon?&quot; we said either &quot;no&quot; or something similarly simple, including &quot;we'll let you know!&quot; When prompted to do something at bedtime that wasn't a bedtime thing for us, we said &quot;we've tried that, and this is what we do now.&quot; Had someone offered (or flat out just tried to go and do) to do something that wasn't part of our routine, we would have stopped them in the same polite way you stop relatives from cleaning your bathtub or other too-intrusive helping. &quot;Mom, please, no! Really! I can't let you do that!&quot; We didn't include any right-and-wrong arguments (in your case &quot;it will take days for them to get the routine back if you disrupt it&quot; or the like) because (and this is the key) &lt;strong&gt;she didn't get a vote&lt;/strong&gt; so she didn't need to be convinced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may feel the first time you play the &quot;we're the parents&quot; card without using any facts to back it up that you will crumble beneath the knowledge and experience of Aunt Alice or your mother or your father in law. But my experience (and that of many of my friends) is that you get your way and the arguments stop. There's nothing to argue with. You're not saying your way is better or right. You're just doing it your way and that's that. You're the parents. Try it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T15:59:44.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11752" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-11T17:30:40.627" Score="2" ViewCount="231" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently noticed that our 4 month old LO likes to sit on our lap at the table. We talked about it with some friends and they confirm it, their LOs also liked that. My wife recalls reading a blog entry which also said something like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have similar experiences? Why do you think infants like to sit at a table?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-03-25T20:19:22.410" Title="Why do infants like stitting at the table?" Tags="|infant|behavior|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11753" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11768" CreationDate="2014-03-11T18:08:59.293" Score="6" ViewCount="12069" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the past few months, my children, 2 and 3, have been asking me &quot;Are you happy with me?&quot; Of course, I respond with &quot;I am very happy with you! The most happy!&quot; But they still ask on a daily basis!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tell them I love them every chance I get. I am happy with them no matter what -- is it normal for the kids to ask for constant validation? Should I be doing something to make them feel secure?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually they'll ask the question randomly, but lately I have noticed that they'll ask this when they have done something wrong. i.e. hitting each other, etc. When they do that, I'll usually respond with &quot;Hey! You shouldn't do that, that's not right. It really hurts XYZ.&quot; They sense me being upset with what they did and will immediately ask, &quot;Are you happy with me?&quot; I have started to respond with, &quot;Yes, I am happy with you. But I am not happy with what you did.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wanted to know if other parents have this happening to them too or if there is something I am doing wrong with my parenting which is leading them to wonder if I am happy with them. I don't want my kids thinking I am not happy with them (or do I?). I am very proud of them!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T15:08:35.943" Title="Why do my children ask &quot;Are you happy with me?&quot;" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-11T18:36:50.107" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like to play the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_spy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;I-spy game&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I spy is a guessing game. One player chooses an object that is visible to all the players and says, &quot;I spy with my little eye something beginning with ...&quot;, naming the letter the chosen object starts with (e.g. &quot;I spy with my little eye something beginning with C&quot; if the chosen object is a car). Other players have to guess the chosen object.[1] &lt;strong&gt;An alternative version is played where the colour is given rather than the initial letter (e.g. &quot;I spy with my little eye something blue&quot;)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can play it anywhere and also train general observation skills. In my experience, kids can play it from about 18-24 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7016" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T18:36:50.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11548" CreationDate="2014-03-11T18:53:42.653" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We offer the pacifier to help regulate his hiccups. Focusing on the sucking motion usually helps him get rid of his hiccups in a matter of minutes. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7015" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T18:53:42.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11752" CreationDate="2014-03-11T22:11:09.333" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Several reasons.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Social - they like participating in the meal as everyone else does.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Comfort - sitting on your lap is very comfortable, and on top of that is essentially snuggling, which is very natural and enjoyable for the infant.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Food - even at 4 months infants are often interested in a theoretical sense in solid food, since Mommy/Daddy/Big Sibling(s) if present spend so much time with it.  I suspect this is why my younger son started eating finger food from the table absurdly early - before 5 months, before he had any teeth - because he saw big brother eating it, and wanted 'in'.  Food also smells good, and at the table is much more interesting smell-wise than away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We always had our babies at the table in highchairs as soon as they could hold their heads up and use a highchair; while that's not quite as nice as sitting in mommy's lap, it does let mommy eat, and fulfills some of the above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T22:11:09.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11749" CreationDate="2014-03-11T23:16:15.750" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few years ago, we interviewed for a nanny for our (then) 2 yo. We read probably 100 resumes and interviewed a couple of dozen. Firstly, my observations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most that we saw were young women either in uni or just left. They see it as a temporary position until they get another job.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many had only had baby sitting experience before.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Few were interested in food prep or light housework&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I do not think any were particularly useful in terms of education of our child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some did not like the parents being around&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some did not have a car, so going to playgroup is difficult&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One that we hired had no idea how to play with a child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, work out what you the nanny's responsibilities are going to be, for example (all or some of the following):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;childcare&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;taking your child to playgroups, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;food prep for the child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;food prep for the family&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cleaning up the child's mess&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cleaning up the family mess&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dealing with siblings, such as school drop-off/pick-up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So your questions should be based around what you want the nanny to do, their experience with a child of the appropriate age. Dealing with babies is very different to dealing with a 3 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The interview will be more of a conversation than a check list. It is handy to have the child there at the time to see how the nanny interacts with the kid. In the end, most of it comes down to your comfort level with the person. We have a couple of great nannies - one of a 30+ yo mother whose kids were at school and one was a 18 yo uni student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, in Australia a nanny should have a &quot;Working With Children&quot; check - it is a government issued card stating the person has passed a basic police check.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had some bad experiences, listed &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1718/what-do-we-do-if-our-children-dont-like-the-nanny/1737#1737&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-03-11T23:16:15.750" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11753" CreationDate="2014-03-12T00:23:53.580" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As some initial background:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child (14yo girl) has some issues being treated by medication, a psychiatrist, and my love and support, so she is highly-unlikely to be representative of your children.  She does, however, ask me in the few instances where she does something incorrect, &quot;Are you mad at me?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, in her case, I take the question as something she wants to avoid: me being mad at her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case, they are asking the opposite -- something they want to have: you being happy with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it may seem a trivial thing to point out, I find it actually wonderful they are seeking a &lt;strong&gt;good&lt;/strong&gt; thing as opposed to avoiding a &lt;strong&gt;bad&lt;/strong&gt; thing -- that's a positive fundamental mindset!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now on to the heart of your question.  They want something.  Want it desperately.  And they fear they may have denied themselves something they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You, too, want something -- well behaved people who integrate well into &quot;society&quot; (i.e. work well with others).  You are simply doing what you ought in that regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the question comes about, &quot;How can this be balanced?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always been a fan of the truth expressed in terms the other person is most likely to &quot;accept&quot; and that's what I'd advise here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give the good first.  You &lt;strong&gt;are&lt;/strong&gt; happy with them, the person.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give the constructive feedback second.  They can be happy with themselves if they treat everyone &quot;right&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To that end, I suggest something along these lines:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Happy with you?  I love you very much and am so happy that I &lt;em&gt;get&lt;/em&gt; to be your parent.  We all have things to learn and remember to be better people and I know you want to do that too, right?  So let's place nice, be friendly, and then we can all be happy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(NOTE: I expressly did not use the word &quot;but&quot; in that phrasing b/c it is perceived as a negation of anything prior.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, after such an approach, if you still find they are intriguingly seeking an answer to this question, I would talk to the child outside of a contentious issue in a chatty manner.  Then I would point out that they ask that a lot and that because I care would like to know if there is something they are worried about and would like to ask me about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing that will take the issue out of the immediate and open the door for them to communicate with you about whatever (possibly-unrelated) issues they have been considering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, they simply may not be aware of the fact that they repeat the question (like someone who uses &quot;like&quot; every other word in their speech.)  The only way to know is to ask when nothing else is part of the conversation (like that mini-battle with Timmy!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-03-12T06:48:30.730" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T06:48:30.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11624" CreationDate="2014-03-12T04:00:12.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a particularly tough problem because it has not been conclusively proven whether or not e-cigarettes are safe or not. It's possible that consuming just nicotine is an acceptable level of health risk like occasional drinking and not an immediate chunk off your life like cigarettes. It's too new a product for the evidence to be conclusive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking as a college kid, not a parent, I would use it to teach rational thinking and measured assessment of risk, as well as good financial practices. Do research with your kid (actual research, not health-scare-of-the-week dreck) and talk to them about how much it costs and ask them if they would rather spend their money on something else. Don't immediately ban it, talk them through figuring out whether something is safe and desirable for them or not. Emphasize the unpleasant lack of control that is addiction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More pointedly, e-cigarette cartridges come in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.primevapor.com/flavor-e-cigarette-cartridges-1/zero-nicotine-10/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;zero nicotine&lt;/a&gt;. If her primary motivation is protecting her son from health risks, she could push for or subsidize him switching to no-nicotine, and he could still practice blowing smoke rings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7018" LastEditorUserId="7018" LastEditDate="2014-03-12T04:10:36.543" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T04:10:36.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11323" CreationDate="2014-03-12T04:20:31.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;balanced mama has a great suggestion, but given that &quot;glue ear&quot; affects children based on a number of factors (e.g. duration and recurrence) and that how it affects is also highly variable, this question doesn't lead to the ability to answer or provide a suggestion specific to your child's needs or more abstractly to &quot;any 'ole child who has had glue ear&quot;'s needs.  In fact, given the high degree of variability, this question is best-suited for a professional's analysis of the total effect and how you ought to proceed forward and, I suggest, would require the monitoring of your professional over time to ensure treatment is appropriate at all levels of development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T04:20:31.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11761" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-12T06:51:33.113" Score="1" ViewCount="39107" Body="&lt;p&gt;Starting about a month ago (2 years and a few months old), she is constantly putting her finger or fingers in her mouth. She is not teething. I'm not sure why she's doing it. Trying to discipline her by giving her time outs did not work. Reasoning with her by telling her that she &quot;can get sick if she puts her dirty hands in her mouth&quot; didn't work. Physically removing her hand from her mouth constantly didn't work. Telling her that if she has the urge to put her hands in her mouth she should put her hands on her lap didn't work...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T12:33:52.680" Title="My daughter (2 1/2 years old) started to put her hand in her mouth about a month ago. How do I try to wean her from this behavior?" Tags="|mouthing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11762" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-12T10:41:34.033" Score="3" ViewCount="9601" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son has Encopresis since many years (the history is described here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/2209/1092&quot;&gt;How can we potty-train our pre-schooler outside the home?&lt;/a&gt; ). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is now 6 years old and in some phases (which often last 2..3 weeks), it happens 2..3 times a day nearly each day that he has stains of poo in his underwear, sometimes even a large amount of poo.&#xA;It is already difficult in the Kindergarten to get the different kindergarten teachers on our (and his!) side to support him and help him with understanding ... he &lt;strong&gt;just is not able to really clean himself alone&lt;/strong&gt; in such a situation.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He sometimes/often tries to avoid getting cleaned by the kindergarten teachers and hides until he gets picked up by his parents, so it is even more difficult to clean him if it's dry already and he has been running around smelling strongly for some time...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, &lt;strong&gt;soon he'll go to school&lt;/strong&gt; and the situation there will be even more difficult:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that nobody there feels responsible for such a child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the kindergarten teachers have asked the school teachers what they would do in school, if he poo'd in his pants: they would call the parents to come and clean him.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This would be very difficult, as we are both working some kilometeres away and can not get easily and quickly to school at each time. &#xA;Also if I imagine how it would be if that happens 2 or 3 times a day... it's impossible to deal with... &#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;school seems to have proposed that he wears a diaper... that only avoids underwear getting dirty, but cleaning himself will still be a problem (as the bowels are often very loose and nearly fluid in such situation) - he won't be able to do that alone - and he also can not sit in a dirty and stinking diaper in classes for hours ...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the other children will probably josh him &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that this is a really difficult question and maybe there is not &quot;the&quot; answer, but I'd like to know if anybody else has similar experience and found a way to get support and help from school or somewhere else to avoid that the parents have to be available all the time in case of such an &quot;accident&quot; or that the child is left alone with his problem and the dirt and misses his classes waiting for someone to come and help him...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, encopresis is an illness.. shouldn't there be some help for such children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2017-08-03T14:26:58.120" Title="How to deal with Encopresis in primary school?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|encopresis|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2014-03-12T12:07:19.947" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently read a scientific study that indicated that English-speaking kids had a harder time with colors than other kids, because the English language typically places the color before the name of the object (&quot;The blue ball&quot;) rather than after (&quot;The ball that is blue&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the latter construct, the kid sees the ball, then hears the name of the color, so it can be associated as a characteristic of that object. When the researchers used slightly artificial constructs (&quot;Look at that nice car. It's blue!&quot; rather than &quot;Oh, look at that nice blue car&quot;), kids learned their colors much faster. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-johnny-name-colors/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-johnny-name-colors/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But really, technicalities aside, it's not a race... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7022" LastEditorUserId="7022" LastEditDate="2014-03-12T12:42:33.600" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T12:42:33.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11762" CreationDate="2014-03-12T12:30:45.320" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not sure where you are but have you escalated this up to the school's governing body?  Gotten his physician involved?  And if nothing else works, can you get the local media involved to shame the school into doing the right thing?  &quot;Local school refuses to help adorable kindergartner with illness&quot; can be the headline that most schools will do anything to avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Wish I were in your area; I'd be glad to stand on someone's desk if it were required.  Just the thought of someone not helping your kid is making my mama bear instincts kick in...&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T12:30:45.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11761" CreationDate="2014-03-12T12:33:52.680" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's not quite three and still exploring her environment; this is part of that.  If it really bothers you, you can gently remove her hand when you catch her with her hand in her mouth, but I wouldn't fret too much.  Most kids won't continue this for very long (for example, my nearly  3-yr-old son just got out of this stage about 3-4 weeks ago).  If it continues and you are concerned she's going to be sucking on her fingers or thumb and possibly malforming her teeth, then you might want to circle up with a pediatrician or pediatric dentist for strategies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're looking for alternative strategies, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/9-ways-to-wean-a-child-off-thumb-sucking?page=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt; has a pretty good list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Full disclosure: I sucked my thumb until I was 11 years old.  Messed up my upper palate something fierce, but my teeth were correctable with a few years of braces.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T12:33:52.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11766" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11769" CreationDate="2014-03-12T14:22:15.000" Score="15" ViewCount="1548" Body="&lt;p&gt;Because we parents spend so much time &lt;strike&gt; complaining to each other&lt;/strike&gt;   sharing best practices, we often find ourselves in situations where another parent is sharing an approach or technique that we have learned or read enough to know is less than optimal:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Hot dogs are your two-year-old's favorite food, you say? And he only eats them whole?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Vaccinations?  Who even knows if those work?  We &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; know they gave a number of celebrity's kids Autism.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And those are the easier ones - often it's more like the parents who don't want to &quot;stress&quot; their children with any pressure to establish regular sleep routines, but describe a house full of parents and kids who haven't had more than two hours sleep in row for &lt;em&gt;years.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The challenge, and the question I have, is this.  In those rare instances where you feel you really have something important or useful to share:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can offer people you care about suggestions without either making your friends defensive, or by coming off as someone who considers themselves a parenting expert?&lt;/strong&gt;  (I am &lt;em&gt;all too aware&lt;/em&gt; that the most important job I've ever had is also the one I'm least prepared to handle.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My instinct is always to start soft, so as not to seem too pushy &quot;I think I read that hot dogs might be a bit of a choking issue for kids that age,&quot; but that seems to go badly, because the softening on my part makes it easy for them to brush it off (&quot;My pediatrician told me what to worry about, and didn't mention that - it's fine&quot;).  And at that point, pushing harder is starting to feel like an unwanted intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I know I can &quot;mind my business,&quot; but I see that as a last resort; I'm talking about cases where I care about both the parents and kids, and respect the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="2829" LastEditDate="2014-03-12T17:08:56.397" LastActivityDate="2014-03-13T02:20:15.313" Title="How can you offer other parents suggestions without making them defensive?" Tags="|communication|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11766" CreationDate="2014-03-12T14:59:46.370" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is not your job to correct other people's parenting, nor do you have to do that from a moral perspective or any other reason. If someone else does something with his/her kids that you would not do, then this is his/her decision and his/her responsibility. You are allowed to comment on how you see things, but if the other doesn't agree, then thats it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On that basis you are usually able to communicate well with other parents: &quot;Hot dog? I wouldn't do that with my son, I think he would choke on it.&quot; Note how in this sentence the other one is not judged for his actions, while you still give a statement on your perspective. If the other one now agrees that this might be an issue, you can continue that discussion, if not, then it is perfectly his or her matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T14:59:46.370" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11753" CreationDate="2014-03-12T15:08:35.943" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids base every action on whether or not their parents love them. They want their parents to be proud of them and learn and change based on their feedback. They usually don't express it that openly, but then it's nothing to worry about either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your kid is just confusing words here. Maybe it helps to explain the difference between the unconditional love parents feel towards their children, proud and happiness. It also is a good idea to express those feelings very openly to your children so they receive the proper feedback for their actions. They might not understand the words fully, but they will always understand an obvious emotional reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T15:08:35.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11766" CreationDate="2014-03-12T15:40:58.353" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let's divide the advice you want to give into categories:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child is in immediate danger to the extent you would call Child Protective Services or the police.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child is, in the long term, at increased risk (your two examples relating to choking on hotdogs or being unvaccinated) but you can't &quot;report&quot; them, though you strongly feel you want to educate them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child isn't in any danger, but you think the child or the parent could be much happier if they did something differently (your sleep example)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you're irritated by something and wish it would change even if it has no real effect on the child or the parent (how I feel when random strangers in the mall play endlessly-repeat-the-same-phrase games with their kids - I hate repeating!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the immediate danger case, speak as bluntly as you like - whatever you say will be milder than the steps you'll take if they don't accept your advice or if you chicken out and say nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the longterm increased risk, you have to decide if this is someone who listens to other parents or not. If you think they might, you can focus on questions, and on describing what you do. For example &quot;Yes, my kids love hotdogs too. It takes almost no time to quarter them lengthwise to make them safe, but I can't wait until they're 3 and we can stop doing that.&quot; Or &quot;how did you decide it was safe to stop quartering them lengthwise? I thought I had to do that until they were 3?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the happiness things, I would mostly wait until I was asked. Of course, there are things you can say that might prompt asking. Stuff like &quot;Oh yes, I remember the sleep deprivation phase of parenting, you totally have my sympathy. It does pass. For us it was only till about 18 months, but that's partly because we took a different approach than many people.&quot; And then you don't say anything unless they ask about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the last one (which to be honest is most of the situations I want to offer advice) I do absolutely nothing when it's a stranger I'll never see again. For friends, it's going to vary with the child's age and the closeness of the friendship, but being honest with yourself about your motivations will probably guide you to the right wording.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T15:40:58.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-12T18:00:28.283" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a young adult who grew up with parents dictating to me what I could and could not wear, I'm begging you to go to your daughter, apologize for not respecting her as the adult that she is, and tell her that no matter what she wears you love her and you're so incredibly grateful and proud of the woman that she is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents forced me into wearing what they wanted me to wear while I was living at home and so it appeared that they had won. Really, they won the battle on skirts and lost the war on maintaining a relationship with me. They were so concerned with how I looked and that I fit the model of how they wanted people to perceive their daughter, that they put that as more important than the relationship they had with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is autonomous and while she is still a minor, the age for commanding obedience to orders like that is long gone. Now is the time when you have to let your daughter make her own decisions with your knowledge, otherwise she'll make her own decisions and see you as the enemy of who she is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is more than her clothes, and her feeling loved and accepted by you is more important than you being comfortable with everything she wears. Your daughter desperately needs acceptance and love, not control. If she doesn't get that acceptance from you, she WILL go find it somewhere else, and it will probably be from someone much less good for her than you. Please, let her wear the sorts of skirts and pants she wants and avoid criticizing her clothing as much as possible -- she needs love and grace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7024" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T18:00:28.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11771" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-12T19:33:01.867" Score="5" ViewCount="455" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently I saw an article passed around that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/give-childhood-back-to-children-if-we-want-our-offspring-to-have-happy-productive-and-moral-lives-we-must-allow-more-time-for-play-not-less-are-you-listening-gove-9054433.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;advocated for more free playtime&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We went to school, but it wasn't the big deal it is today. School days were six hours long, but (in primary school) we had half-hour recesses in the morning and afternoon, and an hour at lunch. Teachers may or may not have watched us, from a distance, but if they did, they rarely intervened. We wrestled on the school grounds, climbed trees in the adjacent woods, played with knives and had snowball wars in winter&amp;mdash;none of which would be allowed today at any state-run school I know of. Out of school, we had some chores and some of us had part-time jobs such as paper rounds (which gave us a sense of maturity and money of our own); but, for the most part, we were free&amp;mdash;free to play for hours each day after school, all day on weekends, and all summer long. Homework was non-existent in primary school and minimal in secondary school. There seemed to be an implicit understanding, then, that children need lots of time and freedom to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this (with the possible exception of the time spent in recess) rings true for my childhood.  The article draws a direct line between decreasing free play and increasing mental disorders (among other consequences). I had no problem connecting the dots between my 5&lt;sup&gt;th&lt;/sup&gt; grader's homework load and the possibility he will have various problems when he grows up.  But then I noticed something odd:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I’m lucky. I grew up in the United States in the 1950s, at the tail end of what the historian Howard Chudacoff refers to as the “golden age” of children’s free play. The need for child labour had declined greatly, decades earlier, and adults had not yet begun to take away the freedom that children had gained. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The author is actually in my parent's generation and I was raised well after the &quot;golden age&quot;.  So my own childhood, according the the argument made by the author, shouldn't be the model to strive for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not asking if children should have more free play (they probably should) or suggesting that the author's argument is wrong (I don't really know).  What I'm asking about is how parents can make decisions about how to raise their children without being biased by nostalgia from their own childhood. How can we avoid the temptation to revive &quot;the good old days&quot; that just happen to have occurred (of all possible epochs) when we were our children's age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-09T12:23:16.813" LastActivityDate="2018-10-09T12:23:16.813" Title="How can parents avoid making decisions based on nostalgia?" Tags="|parents|social-development|research|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11772" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11789" CreationDate="2014-03-12T22:36:50.710" Score="7" ViewCount="461" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question is based on my personal feelings, so is probably biased and subjective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I frequently see parents (and remember my own) encouraging their children on every trivial or regular achievement by saying a big &quot;WOW&quot; (and making huge eyes) for example, if child of 4 years old remembers their grandma's name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, it looks like they don't even believe the child can perform such easy tasks and this is why their child is so special.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally remember my deep frustration when I realised that my performance was a regular one and frequently even less successful then of other children, but my parents were so &quot;wow&quot;-impressed, that I believed &quot;I'm on top&quot; and stopped developing my ideas and skills in some areas, whereas other children continued their development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the question is how does one give a child the correct feeling about his/her skills but not an overestimation, which actually can have negative impact on their self-image and development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6830" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-13T00:04:33.767" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T16:47:29.850" Title="Parental &quot;Wow&quot; as a reaction to trivial child achievements" Tags="|teaching|life-skills|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11704" CreationDate="2014-03-12T22:56:35.173" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;IMHO the human body is quite good at regulating such important things as water and salt balance. Kids will drink if they need to. For the same reason I am not worried when my toddler shakes some salt in his hand and licks that off. It'll even out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6533" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T22:56:35.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11772" CreationDate="2014-03-12T23:27:23.127" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is important to give positive feedback to what children do, even if the &quot;reward&quot; seems to be much too much for the actual task. For once this is important in the development of a child (receive positive feedback develops motivation) and for second you need to see the difficulty from the eyes of a 3-year old. Even walking is a challenge at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With growing age the rewards should of course be adjusted appropriately, so rewarding a 16-year old for every step he manages to walk is kind of overkill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-03-12T23:27:23.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11766" CreationDate="2014-03-13T02:20:15.313" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm someone who would really, really like to be the &quot;parenting expert&quot; who tells everyone what they're doing wrong.  Not quite Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, but that direction.  So, I am sensitive to this, and have to watch myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming it isn't something dramatically or imminently harmful (no, hot dogs wouldn't count here), I see if it passes the 'smell' test:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is this someone I'm close enough to (at work, as a friend, etc.) that I would tell them if they smelled bad?  Would they take it as friendly advice?  Even if I'm close to them, are they of the kind of personality who would appreciate being told, or not?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If so, the degree of discretion in communicating the issue is similar: inform them casually, and then let it go.  Give them what information I have if they ask, talk further if they want to, but unless they continue the conversation, just a short, casual mention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If not, then I let it go entirely.  Tens of millions of parents each year in this country manage to raise children successfully without my advice, undoubtedly this family will also.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only time I might take exception to this is if the person is actively proselytizing for something (most commonly, anti-vaccines), particularly with factually incorrect information.  I think if someone is trying to convince &lt;em&gt;others&lt;/em&gt; of their point of view, then they're fair game to whatever I can toss at them.  But if it's just a casual comment related to their own kids, the mouth stays shut unless it passes the smell test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-13T02:20:15.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-13T04:47:52.977" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up with parents like you. Fundamentalists, right? &quot;Modesty&quot; culture? All you're doing is teaching your daughter that her body is something to be ashamed of. I guarantee you you're going to lose her, because you've screwed this up and there's nothing you can do about it now. My parents screwed it up and I was glad when they kicked me out at 16 years old (they were angry that I got on the internet and started learning about the real world). They had me wearing ankle-length skirts, quarter-sleeve-or-longer shirts, collared and stuffy and buttoned all the way to the top. I grew up in that kind of fundamentalist culture, and all I got out of it was a slew of emotional scars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more you try to shelter her because of your own fears, the more you're hurting her - you're instilling your own fears in her and she'll carry that fear with her for the rest of her life, but not in the way you think. She'll have panic attacks years from now, flashing back to all the things you put her through - just like I do with my parents. She'll cry herself to sleep at night and wonder why she hates herself when she looks in the mirror - and it will be because you taught her that her body was sinful. She'll have years of trouble trying to find a loving relationship, and it will be because she was taught that men are rapists and we women all have to be on guard and wear modest clothes, OR ELSE. If she's like many ex-fundies, she'll struggle with suicidal thoughts. You've forced her into a culture of control, fear, indoctrination and often emotional abuse. I don't even want to think of what else you must be trying to control in her life if you're fundamentalists...it's never a pretty picture!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All you're doing is damaging her by teaching her all of this nonsense. I'm glad she's standing up to you. I'm glad I stood up to my mother too. That gives me a little bit of hope that she can escape and find herself someday; maybe when she turns 18 she can find her own life and never have to hear this shaming stuff again! She doesn't need that. She needs support, real support. She needs unconditional love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a cake shop puts their cakes on display, do you blame the owners when their cakes are stolen, and say &quot;Well you just put those delicious cakes right out on display, it's your fault&quot;? If you get robbed, do you blame yourself, or do you put the robber in prison? If someone gets murdered, do you say &quot;Yeah well apparently the person really made the murderer angry - shouldn't have done that!&quot; NO! Men's thoughts are their own responsibility; if they can't control themselves, that's not your daughter's fault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give this girl some jeans, shorts, and a few classy short skirts - let her be free or I guarantee she'll take off the moment she hits 18 and leave you in the dust (I certainly hope!). Hopefully then she can find healing from the damage done to her heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7031" LastActivityDate="2014-03-13T04:47:52.977" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8597" CreationDate="2014-03-13T05:06:44.127" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm very sorry this happens to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not clear from your question exactly what you are saying when you respond to them, but one approach that I read about once somewhere and really liked is this: when someone does something you find hurtful, say, very calmly and straightforwardly, &quot;I feel demeaned&quot; or &quot;I feel mocked&quot; or &quot;I feel hurt&quot; and possibly, &quot;Please stop&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two keys to this: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is important that you try to focus on only talking about how &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; feel and limit as much as possible what claims you make about &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt;. When it comes to how you feel, they can't really tell you you're wrong without sounding absurd. Who can disagree with a person who makes a statement like &quot;I feel demeaned&quot;? Only you know how you feel and that is obvious. On the other hand, if you say something like, &quot;you're being hurtful,&quot; they can argue that you just misinterpreted them. If you try to argue about the particulars of what they are saying, they can easily disagree and say you're wrong, and a fight will ensue.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stay calm so as to appear to be the most rational one. If they try to tell you to lighten up or get mad at you for not taking a joke, just stay calm and stick with your story, &quot;I feel demeaned and I would like it if you would stop&quot;. Don't lash out. If you become angry or upset, or try to insult them in defense, they will get defensive and angry in return, and a fight will ensue.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By sticking strictly to only speaking about your own feelings and remaining calm, the hope is that this will ultimately make them feel embarrassed by their behavior and they will stop in order to stop feeling embarrassed. I've tried this on acquaintances who are often hurtful and they have stopped and apologized (and are overall less mean since then), so it seems effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200910/disarming-your-buttons-how-not-get-provoked-part-3-4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here is an article series about how not to get your buttons pushed&lt;/a&gt;. It's not the article I mentioned above, because I can't find that one. I think I found it when searching for phrases like &quot;how to deal with invalidation&quot; and &quot;how to set boundaries&quot; so maybe you will stumble across it too. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; I just realized I didn't really answer the question. It's very hard to say why they do this without knowing more about your parents and your history. There could be many reasons: they feel threatened by you, they think they are just having fun, they are trying to force you to be a certain way (e.g., more self-deprecating), etc. Perhaps you should talk to a family therapist about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7030" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-10T11:55:05.270" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T11:55:05.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11781" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-13T05:49:11.830" Score="10" ViewCount="21918" Body="&lt;p&gt;This past weekend, my wife went on a retreat while I stayed home with our 1-year-old twins.  Since they were sleeping when she left, there was no separation anxiety.  The next morning, I changed them as usual, but instead of taking them to our bedroom where my wife normally feeds them, I took them downstairs for milk in their highchairs.  After that a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11699/how-can-i-reduce-feeding-jealousy-with-my-twins&quot;&gt;brief moment of agitation&lt;/a&gt;, they went through the rest of the day without seeming to notice my wife was missing.   In fact, they didn't much notice anything different unless there was some change to their schedule; who was taking care of them didn't seem to have any noticeable impact on their behavior or attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my wife returned home, they obviously recognized that she was gone.  When we take them to nursery at church, they notice when we leave.  But as far as I can tell, they don't &lt;strong&gt;miss us&lt;/strong&gt; when we are gone.  It got me thinking: when do children first become aware of the absence of someone important to them?  Are there any studies on when children might start missing a parent who is no longer around?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-09T12:25:38.283" LastActivityDate="2021-02-02T08:16:20.777" Title="At what age do children notice the absence of a parent?" Tags="|separation|attachment|research|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11782" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-13T07:23:47.447" Score="3" ViewCount="250" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents have always tried to shelter me from trauma (divorces, illnesses and deaths in the family, and so on) which makes it difficult to broach the subject of death with them. This is more of an issue as they grow older and others in their generation grow ill or die.  What are good ways to persuade them that they can talk to me about these events, rather than continue to try to 'protect' me from them by not mentioning them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For added difficulty, I live about 7,000 miles and 8 time zones away from my parents, so starting a casual conversation probably isn't as easy as if we were in the same town - anything in particular that can be recommended to overcome this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2014-03-13T15:25:40.130" Title="How to talk to parents about death?" Tags="|death|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11782" CreationDate="2014-03-13T15:25:40.130" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If this is just about you being notified about extended family events, try (when you find out) saying something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I didn't know that Uncle Eddie had died. I wish someone had told me at the time so I could have sent a card. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the response this is getting, you could go on&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know I'm far away, but not being told when things happen make me feel even further away. I want to stay connected, and be told the news, even if it's bad news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is more about wanting to know their wishes when they die, that is a lot harder. The only way these conversations started in our family is when someone died unexpectedly and everyone had a great deal of difficulty making arrangements, finding bank account information and so on. Seeing us struggle with that inspired a lot of people to talk to their adult children about where the paperwork was, that sort of thing. If someone where you live now has just been through that, you could share the story with you parents in the hope of inspiring them to make your task easier later (we all hope much later, of course.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-03-13T15:25:40.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11784" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-13T16:14:38.467" Score="4" ViewCount="183" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started introducing solids to my baby at 4.5 months (by our ped's advice). Here we are, 1 month later, and my baby developed a local rash after 3 out of 5 foods (rice, barley and sweet potato). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How can I be sure its a food allergy, and not another kind of rash? 2 of them appeared 40 minutes after the meal, and disappeared several hours later. One of them appeared in the end of the day and there are still some minor signs 1 week later (maybe its not a food allergy?)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If a baby is allergic to cereal, when should I try introducing the cereal again? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7037" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-03-14T16:14:10.393" LastActivityDate="2020-06-01T22:27:04.707" Title="First solids and food allergies" Tags="|allergies|solids|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11785" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-13T20:58:19.180" Score="10" ViewCount="48808" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 8 years old and in second grade. As the school year progresses, his attitude and behavior is declining rapidly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It started out that he was a class clown, always talking and making jokes. Then he claimed that he was being bullied. We found out that this wasn't true, that he was actually having emotional outbursts during class, like crying hysterically and yelling trying to get his point across. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a very smart kid, but his grades are suffering, because he either rushes through his work, or flat out refuses to do it. I, as well as his teacher, am tired of having the same conversation everyday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has just been suspended from school, for unacceptable school behavior: He was refusing to do his work, and was shaking the table, which was causing other kids to not be able to do their work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at my wits end. I have tried everything. Grounding him. No tv. No video games. Spanking him.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He is now having wild emotional meltdowns at his classmates as well as his teacher. I dont know what to do. Rarely does he have an outburst at home, so I cant figure out what is triggering his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7041" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-12-21T19:24:16.060" LastActivityDate="2016-10-08T03:14:15.157" Title="8 year old son, misbehaving at school. help!" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11772" CreationDate="2014-03-14T03:40:14.657" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We always did it by describing behaviors rather than overtly praising them. This left the child to ascribe pride to the accomplishment on his own. For example, we would say, &quot;You climbed all the way to the top!&quot; -  without any overstated objectives. Sometimes we might comment on the effort it took, like: &quot;You tied your shoes. That's a hard thing to learn.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T03:40:14.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11771" CreationDate="2014-03-14T04:18:31.397" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think freedom to play in childhood persisted well after the 1950s in the US. I was raised in the 60s and I had siblings raised in the 70s, and we had a lot of free time. I taught elementary school in the 80s, and the homework and activity load was increasing at that point.  My children were small in the 90s in New Zealand, and children there still have abundant free play time - so this is not a universal issue. We moved back to the States when they were middle school aged, and it was a shock! 3-4 hours of homework every night, weekend projects, expectations to be involved in multiple sports or music lessons and also find time to volunteer. Parents' lives in my community revolve around their children's activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think nostalgia is appropriate in this case! Still, we must temper nostalgia by also acknowledging the advantages our children may have that we did not. They are born into an age where hierarchy is beginning to crumble. Leadership books today are pointing to changes in the workplace that will allow newcomers a greater say in how things are done, which their parents would not have had without &quot;paying their dues&quot; for decades. Today's children also have incredibly easy access to so much information which aids decision-making, providing opportunities that their parents would have been ignorant of. And of course, marginalized populations are better off today than they were years ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond this, there is a degree of acceptance required. Perhaps you should take the view that you were born in the time you were meant to be born, and your children were born in the time they were meant to be born. And they were born to you. Maybe you allow them to be children of their time, but when you see that they are stressed, bring your own knowledge to the situation to help them cope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T04:18:31.397" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11784" CreationDate="2014-03-14T16:13:11.187" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This goes without saying, but for 1), talk to your pediatrician right away - don't wait for the next regular appointment.  Take a food log, take pictures, keep notes on times, and then go in and show them what you have.  Your pediatrician should be experienced at dealing with food allergies and be able to tell you if this is something to be concerned about or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For 2), I would move on to other foods entirely for now (assuming the pediatrician agrees).  AAP no longer recommends starting with cereal for several reasons; there's no reason you can't start with broccoli, peas, green beans, carrots, etc.  For my first child, we did cereal for a bit, but then moved quickly to sweet potatoes and carrots, both roasted in the oven with a tiny amount of oil, and to peas and green beans and broccoli, all steamed, and then in all cases food processed with some breast milk for consistency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If those foods cause rashes also, of course, talk to your pediatrician - there may be a bigger issue here, or an unrelated issue.  This winter has been hard on babies since it's so dry, so rashes aren't totally surprising - my one year old has had rashes on and off for a long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T16:13:11.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11772" CreationDate="2014-03-14T16:47:29.850" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, you should be praising effort rather than results.  A child that has difficulty remembering Grandma's name, and thinks hard and remembers, should be praised for the effort to try and remember.  A child that has a hard time walking should be praised for the effort to try and walk, whether or not it is successful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, the &quot;Wow&quot; is sort-of-good and sort-of-bad.  If it is 'Wow, you did it!&quot;, it can be good if it's clear it's referring to the difficult struggle to accomplish X.  If it's just &quot;Wow, you did something easy&quot;, it's not particularly helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praising effort rather than results is discussed at length on the internet; for example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/praise-and-intelligence.html&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; goes into a good survey of the arguments.  In short, praising results encourages children to do 'easy' things to get rewards (praise) while praising effort encourages children to do 'hard' things to get rewards, and further helps them deal with failure (ie, praising results means kids are sad about failure and have a harder time dealing with it, while praising effort means kids are okay with failures, as long as they gave a good effort).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't intended to be some sort of 'liberal hogwash' or whatnot, where we give everyone a trophy for participating; yes, results do matter, but in large part achieving results is its own reward.  The addition of the praise is not needed to encourage success.  This also is a separation between the parent and outsiders (coaches, teachers, etc.); the parent should lean towards praise for effort while the outsiders will mix some of each, particularly as the children get older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T16:47:29.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11790" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11795" CreationDate="2014-03-14T16:57:56.060" Score="2" ViewCount="1056" Body="&lt;p&gt;We converted our 2 year old toddler's crib into an an accessible bed a few weeks ago.  He's doing well on it, so we want to replace his crib with the brand new single bed we bought for the spare room. It is a high quality mattress and Box Spring including a high quality 2&quot; thick memory foam topper from Costco.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it generally safe for his body, spine, etc and ok to transition a toddler from a firm crib mattress to a memory foam top mattress, or is it advised to just stick with the firmer mattress top for now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2273" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-03-15T02:56:21.990" LastActivityDate="2022-06-24T12:20:29.710" Title="Memory foam top covers and mattresses" Tags="|toddler|safety|bedtime|bedroom|crib|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11785" CreationDate="2014-03-14T18:20:02.630" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was having similar issues, but in his case they were pretty much from his very first day in school.  The fact that your son started after changing schools is hopeful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rushing through and the clowning around are often signs of boredom.  Perhaps his previous school already covered certain topics.  Perhaps they are moving at too slow of a pace.  Perhaps the work is not tailored enough individually.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid I nearly failed spelling class the year I won the school spelling bee, largely due to boredom.  I adapted to the boredom by taking on extracurricular activities, getting placed in more advanced classes, and during the lecture of one class I would do homework from the previous class.  If you can identify when your son is getting bored, the teacher might be able to help with those sorts of activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Refusing to do work can also be a sign that your son doesn't understand the work.  That was mostly the case with my son.  He wasn't paying attention to directions and therefore didn't know how to do the work.  Maybe he missed some prerequisites from his other school.  Maybe they are moving at too fast a pace for him.  Maybe he is so bored that he isn't paying enough attention to know when something new is being taught.  In this case, individual tutoring is the way to keep him from falling behind his classmates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note the contradiction of work perhaps being too easy and perhaps being too hard, but having the same effect.  It's quite possible your son is experiencing both, maybe in different subjects.  That can make it difficult for the teacher to adjust.  Maybe his previous teachers were better at teaching to your son's learning style.  Maybe he had friends at his previous school that helped keep him in line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention your son does much better at home, does that include with homework?  Our son was completing more work in an hour at home than all day at school, so we decided we may as well be homeschooling him.  That has worked out pretty well for us, but I realize it's not feasible for everyone.  It's something to consider, though.  We can move at his individual pace, and move on before he gets bored, or spend more time if he's having trouble grasping something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you don't decide to try homeschooling, your son's going to need a lot more individual customization than he is getting now.  You might look into starting a 504 plan or your jurisdiction's equivalent, perhaps getting a child psychologist involved to suggest some specific accommodations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T18:20:02.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11781" CreationDate="2014-03-14T18:50:19.483" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say a certain amount depends on how much time the parent spends in the same room as the child, and how much the other parent helps out.  The absence of a single mother who cosleeps in a studio apartment would be noticed a lot earlier than a couple in a large house who shares child care responsibilities relatively fairly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My children each have their own bedrooms.  My wife is a stay at home mom, but I help out roughly 50-50 with the kids after work and on weekends.  My kids started noticed a parent's extended absence somewhere between ages 3 and 4. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our four year-old feels the loss of absence deeply.  Her mother and sister had to spend quite a bit of time in the hospital over the last several months.  When she was two, she really only was sad when seeing us leave, and as you mentioned, when her routine was disrupted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter who is 9, but approximately 3 years old mentally due to her cerebral palsy, doesn't grasp the concept.  She thinks mom is in her room, even if she's been gone for a few days.  Likewise, she thinks I'm at work and will be home at dinner time, although even during work hours she calls out for me on the off chance I might be in the next room.  Partly with her, though, it's because people are often in parts of the house where her wheelchair can't go, so she has more trouble keeping track of people's comings and goings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T18:50:19.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11793" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-14T21:18:44.033" Score="10" ViewCount="410" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're currently trying to avoid punishment, with the exception of very &quot;natural&quot; consequences (refusing to eat lunch may result in no snack, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But for a while, we were using &quot;time outs&quot; for those situations where there wasn't a natural consequence, and we felt that behavior needed to be negatively reinforced.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, at one point, our son started asking for them (not necessarily when he'd done anything wrong - just as an interesting activity to pursue.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do you handle a child who seems to want time outs, in situations where you don't have natural consequences, and aren't open to physical or more traumatic punishment?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: I&quot;m not looking for the argument for why punishment in general might be inadvisable; we're currently trying to function that way, but if we (or others) do decide on time outs, I'm not sure how to address the deliberate requests for 'em.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T21:39:26.713" Title="If you are using time outs, how do you deal with a toddler asking for them" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11793" CreationDate="2014-03-14T21:39:26.713" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best approach I have found is to accede.  My daughter sometimes asks to go in time out when she wants to throw a fit.  I think she sees it&amp;mdash;rightly so&amp;mdash;as the place you go to calm down, so I let her.  That seems natural to me.  After all, that's pretty much what adults do when they are angry with someone and want to calm down.  It hasn't seemed to diminish the disciplinary quality, because she still doesn't like it when it's not her idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it stops being effective, and it will eventually, the next stage is usually removal of toys or privileges.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-03-14T21:39:26.713" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11790" CreationDate="2014-03-15T02:53:56.697" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not medical advice, but from what I've seen, there's nothing explicitly wrong with a toddler sleeping on memory foam or similar.  They're past the risk of SIDS, and while some people may be better off sleeping on hard mattresses for back support, it's not true that it is strictly better - it depends on the person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main concern I'd have with memory foam is offgassing questionable organic compounds.  Most of that offgassing happens early on (the first day or two if you air it out thoroughly), but some offgassing occurs all the time, and you do spend 1/3 of your life on your bed, potentially breathing in dangerous chemicals.  I don't know enough to be an expert, and I use a memory foam mattress, so I certainly don't think it's that dangerous; but it's a risk some people prefer to avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would find out what your kid likes, and do that.  If your kid likes the softer mattress, go for it.  If not, stick with firmer.  My oldest sleeps on a hardwood floor half the time because he really likes firm; my youngest just turned 1 and looks forward to sleeping on softer mattresses I'm fairly sure (given how much better he sleeps on our bed).  Each kid is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-15T02:53:56.697" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11796" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11797" CreationDate="2014-03-15T08:29:22.270" Score="10" ViewCount="579" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talking of story books:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ebooks are much cheaper than the paperbacks of the same title.&#xA;I am not rich so I am considering buying ebooks for the child and let her read on the laptop rather than the paperbacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there &lt;strong&gt;serious&lt;/strong&gt; drawbacks with regards to children reading from ebooks verses paperbacks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is some age factor involved here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My infant can't read right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-15T12:17:44.637" LastActivityDate="2014-03-31T14:53:22.993" Title="Are there drawbacks between reading stories from ebooks rather than paper books?" Tags="|age-appropriate|books|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11796" CreationDate="2014-03-15T12:23:39.810" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The only thing that really matters is that you read with her regularly as part of a bedtime or playtime routine&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find a way to make the laptop work for you so that you both can read it together comfortably before bed, that is &lt;em&gt;excellent&lt;/em&gt;. Books themselves are so much less important than enjoying reading that it doesn't even compare. &lt;strong&gt;There is no harm at all in using the laptop and if it doesn't work, trying something else.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, for learning to read at the infant level, books are probably better (see below), and there are cheaper options than buying new that you can easily take advantage of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't have much money, my recommendation is to &lt;strong&gt;seek out local public libraries, charities, and parent's groups&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Public libraries are free except for the time cost (and the children's section is a great place to take your child, just as a meeting area), and local charity stores (at least in the UK) normally have a books section where the books are going for literal pennies. If that's below your threshold (and even if it's not), you probably qualify for a free book scheme like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.booktrust.org.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Booktrust&lt;/a&gt; (if you're in the US, &lt;a href=&quot;http://bookriot.com/2012/11/21/10-literary-charities-for-the-holidays/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;I found this list of potential charities that do the same stuff&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for parent's groups, if someone in our children's group was looking for books, we'd be happy to offload a library's worth of books we no longer need for our daughter (besides promoting reading, we could use the &lt;em&gt;space&lt;/em&gt;). Ask around. Anyone who's moving or whose child has grown out of their baby books will jump at the chance to do something positive with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of your original question, there are several issues with replacing &lt;em&gt;children's&lt;/em&gt; books with ebooks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;One is that for the very young or those who are just learning to read, the tactile sensation of turning pages makes books attractive.&lt;/strong&gt; This is probably the least relevant in some ways, as kids also love buttons for the interactivity, but it matters. You can trace words on a page in a way that you don't really on a computer screen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The second is that children's books are generally big, bright, bold pictures and small amounts of text per page.&lt;/strong&gt; This isn't what dedicated e-readers are designed to do, and the ebook market reflects that. Books for the very young or early readers simply don't come out on Kindle etc. The only device that successfully compares is the iPad, and that's just too expensive. (Although the Reading Rainbow app is apparently excellent).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And unless you're using a dedicated e-reader like a Kindle or a Nook, &lt;strong&gt;the light coming out of a computer screen makes it hard to read for long periods&lt;/strong&gt;. Couple that with the low resolution of most computer screens, which has a far greater relative effect on text than on pictures, and you get a very poor reading experience. &lt;strong&gt;That could well have an effect on how comfortable they are with reading, and how much they look forward to/avoid it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a laptop isn't a great reading experience anyway. I can curl up in a chair with a Kindle quite happily, but my laptop really requires me to be sitting at a desk. I can't carry my laptop around like I do a book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another issue is that &lt;strong&gt;the computer will never be &quot;hers&quot;, and a book can be&lt;/strong&gt;. I've come in to find my daughter leafing through one of her books saying &quot;Readingreadingreading&quot;. That's wonderful. If I came in to find her punching the buttons on my laptop saying the same, not so much. The books can stay in her room, they can be available when I need to work on the laptop, they are in essence her books which I read to her until she's ready to read. That has an effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the most critical is that &lt;strong&gt;laptops do more interesting things&lt;/strong&gt;. If you're using the same device for videos and for reading, you may well find that your child doesn't want to read when the computer could be showing Spongebob instead. And she &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; want to press the keys, which is far more interruptive than when she tries to turn the pages of a book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, in terms of expense, my daughter has trashed at least one e-Reader already and has changed settings on my laptop I didn't even know existed (who knew Vista could turn the screen sideways if you hit the correct key sequence?), but her best attempts to destroy books have been easily countered with some tape, and nothing significantly damages a cardboard baby book, not even drowning it in the bath. I've returned children's books to the library with pages taped back in and they've been fine with it, it's budgeted for. &lt;strong&gt;Your savings on books may be replaced by a catastrophic expense when she pulls your laptop off the table for &quot;stories&quot;.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding age, the tactile stuff is less relevant to a child that's already happy and comfortable with reading, although &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/reading-paper-screens/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;some studies suggest paper-based information is more easily retained&lt;/a&gt;. A 10-year old is likely to be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-22540408&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;as happy with a screen as with a printed page&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But as I said at the start, &lt;strong&gt;the important thing is to make regular reading something your child is comfortable and happy with, and that they associate reading with that experience&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;em&gt;What&lt;/em&gt; they read is far less relevant, and what they read it even less. And the best way to do that is to read with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-03-31T14:53:22.993" LastActivityDate="2014-03-31T14:53:22.993" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-15T19:25:16.647" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;At her age, your daughter is learning to make decisions for herself. She needs to know that you will listen to her thoughts and that you are not afraid to change your mind or moderate your stance on an issue if she can give you a good reason to. If you were to discuss the situation and the current punishment with her, investigate for yourselves what's actually being worn by her peers, and then consider adjusting the punishment based on what you find, you'll go a long way toward gaining her respect AND teaching her how adults make wise decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as having time to check her attire in the morning, if that's just not a possibility for you, what about having her lay out her clothing the night before so that you can check that it meets your standards? That doesn't eliminate the chance that she'll lay out one thing and wear something else, of course, but then you'd know if this was just an issue of modesty, or if there's a deeper issue that needs to be addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 15, she does need to obey your rules, but she should also be gaining more and more independence. Can you talk to her about cooperation and trust being reasons for you to give her more independence, and rebellion and dishonesty making it harder for you to do so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7044" LastActivityDate="2014-03-15T19:25:16.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11799" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11828" CreationDate="2014-03-15T23:45:13.920" Score="10" ViewCount="512" Body="&lt;p&gt;On Saturday mornings, I visit a nearby county jail.  Most of the men I talk to are fathers.  Some are serving short sentences and others are awaiting trials that will likely result in lengthy separations from their families. (Longer terms are served in state prisons.) Since I represent a spiritual tradition that many of these men respect, they often ask for my advice on their parenting situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One situation that occasionally comes up is whether it's good for the children of inmates to be told the truth of their parent's situation.  For those facing long terms, I feel the answer is simple: tell the truth.  If the father does end up in prison for many years, children will certainly need to know and might resent the deception. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what about men who are going to get out of jail shortly? Are children significantly harmed by the harsh reality that their father has been punished for misdeeds against the community? Does the nature of the crime and the age of the children alter the equation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-05T12:17:12.437" LastActivityDate="2019-05-05T12:20:00.250" Title="Should children of incarcerated parents be told the truth?" Tags="|emotional-well-being|separation|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11800" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-15T23:52:30.570" Score="6" ViewCount="3740" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having boy/girl twins, I find it interesting to compare their development over time.  Recently my son started standing on his own and has learned to throw things.  His favorite toys are balls that he can grip easily in one hand and toss across the room.  Being able to stand means that he can throw two balls to great effect. But my daughter is indifferent to balls.  (She prefers fabric toys.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; any of us biased the twins toward these sort of stereotypical toy preferences. Is there any evidence that boys and girls are drawn toward specific types of objects based on gender?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T11:07:50.097" Title="Are boys naturally drawn to balls more than girls?" Tags="|toddler|toys|gender|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9186" CreationDate="2014-03-16T03:00:49.860" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My younger son struggled with night-time wetting until he was 14. In his younger years, we weren't too worried about it; I had several friends who assured me he would grow out of it. He was a VERY heavy sleeper, and even if I went in to wake him for a bathroom break in the middle of the night, he didn't really wake up. I actually stopped doing that after I watched him bounce off the walls walking to the bathroom one night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, we had &quot;night-time undies&quot; (Good Nights pull-up type) that he changed into at bedtime every night. We put a waterproof cover on his mattress and used an extra-large rubber mat over his bottom sheet. Taught him to change his own pajamas and wet linens, and (as he got older) how to put them in the washer ... all the practical clean-up stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he turned 11, though, he joined Boy Scouts ... and then the wetting was a problem. It's embarrassing and a real problem if you're on a camping trip with 20 of your peers and you wet your sleeping bag. And by the time you get that bag home, there's no keeping the secret, because it REEKS. Not to mention finding a discreet way to change into his night-time undies without his peers finding out about his problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we went to his pediatrician and explained the problem. Here's what I learned:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Boys have this problem more frequently and to a later age than girls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;By age 18, apx. 3% of boys will still be night-wetting on a frequent or regular basis.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it lasts past the onset of puberty, it's likely to be a hormone issue. Especially in &quot;late-bloomers.&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pediatrician prescribed desmopressin, and we had immediate improvement. He took the hormonal replacement supplement for three years, periodically taking a night or two off to see if he still needed it. With the onset of puberty at age 14, suddenly, he no longer needed it to stay dry at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7044" LastActivityDate="2014-03-16T03:00:49.860" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11800" CreationDate="2014-03-16T06:49:43.267" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found quite a few scholarly, peer reviewed articles about play and gender-stereotyped toys through my university's library. For example, I found one article about child play assessment with male, female, neutral based toys. In the content of the study, work was drawn in that noted &quot;female&quot; toys exhibited traits such as being attractive, creative, or nurturing while &quot;male&quot; toys were reality-based, aggressive and competitive. The study of 30 children showed that males were most attracted to masculine rated toys (trucks, cars, farm sets). Despite this, the study showed that females were more attracted to neutral based &lt;strong&gt;and male based toys&lt;/strong&gt;. Another interesting note was that children's play had more complexity when children played with female-stereotyped toys &lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.andrews.edu/~rbailey/Chapter%20one/9040385.pdf&quot;&gt;[1]&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I believe there is a certain stigma surrounding boys playing with female-stereotypes toys. When girls play with male-stereotyped toys, the level of acceptance is much higher. I can only hypothesize as to the reasons why that is. In the case of my daughter, she loves to play with toy balls. She likes to throw a bouncy ball around the house and then chase it to do it over again. She enjoys pushing around my wife's balance ball. She also has a basketball hoop attached to the side of her toy rack that she enjoys. I think it's personal preference from the beginning. I believe pressure from peers and parents are the key factors that force a certain gender to a certain type of toy. Children will play, no matter what, as long as the toy is interesting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1]: Cherney, Isabelle D., et al. &quot;The Effects Of Stereotyped Toys And Gender On Play Assessment In Children Aged 18-47 Months.&quot; &lt;em&gt;Educational Psychology&lt;/em&gt; 23.1 (2003): 95-105. &lt;em&gt;PsycINFO&lt;/em&gt;. Web. 16 Mar. 2014.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-03-16T06:49:43.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11803" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11826" CreationDate="2014-03-16T13:41:22.730" Score="3" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;We play with our kids. We roll around on the floor and play with blocks and draw pictures. At the same time we nurture, feed, clothe, and educate them. So while we are playing and goofing off and having fun, in that split second that they do something that goes against what you have taught them, like throwing something across the room, slapping, or any other thing that children shouldn't do, how do you flip the switch between playmate to parent to educate them that what they did was wrong but then be able to transition back to playmate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T12:32:01.523" Title="How does one separate parent from playmate?" Tags="|play-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11800" CreationDate="2014-03-16T16:17:12.883" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The overwhelming experience of parents is that individual children have &lt;em&gt;strong&lt;/em&gt; preferences for certain kinds of toys, and that aside from a certain amount of overlap, these preferences tend to fall along gender stereotypes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not a politically correct idea, so people have spent time studying the idea, sure there must be some parental bias involved, and in some cases have found it.   They've also found ample evidence of certain children that don't meet the stereotypes.  However, it would be very difficult to find evidence that were children to grow up completely devoid of parental and peer influence on toy choice, that they wouldn't &lt;em&gt;tend&lt;/em&gt; to develop toy preferences along gender stereotypes.  In fact, there are a lot of stories of parents who &lt;em&gt;actively&lt;/em&gt; promoted cross-gender toys, and who were frustrated when their children nevertheless developed strong preferences for gender-typical toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my own children, my eldest daughter was showered with &quot;girly&quot; gifts and plays with none of them.  She likes toys that make funny noises and music, and have blinky lights.  She has cerebral palsy and some autistic characteristics, so that may be a factor in her toy preferences.  When she spends time in the hospital, people give her more dolls and stuffed toys.  Aside from a brief stint with a Barbie doll she called &quot;Darby,&quot; she hasn't liked any of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So our second child, a son, comes along.  Since our first child did not like gender-typical toys, we assumed he would be the same.  Not so.  Despite living in a house full of girly toys, he too didn't like any of them.  He gravitated to the few cars we had in the mix, and turned duplo blocks into guns, swords, robots, and cars.  He was strongly influenced by his cousins, whom he sees around once per month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our third child, a daughter, came along, we had forgotten about how many girly toys we still had lying around the house, but she took to those like a moth to a flame.  There are toys she plays with her brother:  building toys, games, and balls.  But when she plays by herself, she uses the stereotypical female toys.  Her brother occasionally will play dolls with his sister, but when he plays by himself, it's with stereotypical male toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if a sociologist came into our house and studied toy preferences, she would see a parental bias.  They would say our boy plays with cars because that's what we buy for him, and our youngest plays with dolls because that's what we buy for her.  However, we know that we buy that way because that is their preference, not the other way around.  The preferences came first and we only support them.  Many parents who started out priding themselves on their political correctness uncomfortably find themselves in that position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-03-16T16:17:12.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11805" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-16T16:33:42.943" Score="3" ViewCount="8428" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a particular young person with whom I have have regular interactions that appears to take every interaction as an attack. Thus if one were say &quot;I do not wish for you to shove your things in there&quot; they would &quot;defend&quot; themselves and say &quot;I did not shove them there I placed them there&quot; and conflict could soon escalate due to the smart arsed answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise if approached about her behaviour she would say &quot;for example?&quot; Which is leads to drawn out debates in which she &quot;defends&quot; the individual points of example. She honestly does not see that what she is doing is passively aggressive and unhelpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that this particular young person has had a bad history and has her own mental health issues so I can see why such behaviour has developed. For example she is emotionally very immature and prone to taking things far too personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What strategies and approaches can I use to speak with her about behaviours that are unacceptable or to tackle topics that might otherwise trigger this defensive behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3905" LastActivityDate="2014-03-16T22:45:28.893" Title="Talking to a highly defensive young person" Tags="|teen|communication|conflict|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11805" CreationDate="2014-03-16T17:33:09.887" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had my share of those kinds of interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One approach is to adjust your language to something that cannot be argued with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your things can't be in there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's nothing about shoving vs placing, or even who put them, just statements. This is really hard work and not my first choice. Sometimes if I get your sort of response I might adjust, so I would start with &amp;quot;you can't just shove your stuff in there&amp;quot; and when I get &amp;quot;I didn't shove...&amp;quot; I could say &amp;quot;that's not the point, your things can't be in there.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other approach, for someone whose age and mental capabilities make it appropriate, is to talk (at first) the way you would with anyone else, and then when you get this pushback, go meta by discussing the conversation and word use rather than the stuff and where it can be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Come on. You're twelve years old. Do you think that &lt;strong&gt;placing&lt;/strong&gt; them there makes it ok? Place, shove, your stuff can't be in there. Move it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Come on. You're twelve years old. Your stuff is crumpled and hanging out like it was shoved in. Put it away properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you want examples because you intend to lawyer at me and prove you've done nothing wrong, or because you want to understand the situation better?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially be prepared to lift yourself up a level from the conversation to get to the real point, rather than staying at the level of the original plan for the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had two kids in my life who used to do this to me. The first, who I loved (and still do) I would say &amp;quot;you're going to be a great lawyer some day!&amp;quot; and stay mostly in the first mode to minimize the arguing in my life. The second, who I liked at first and grew to detest, eventually banning her from my home (she was a friend of one of the children's) I went mostly in the second mode with. Everyone else in her life backed down when she did that sort of thing, her intentions weren't generally good (she's the most selfish person I have ever met) and she could find a sticking point in any sentence no matter how neutral. So I generally called her on it. Oddly, she liked me (for her definition of like) for far longer than I liked her, so calling her on it doesn't seem to have been a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have my sympathies because this can be exhausting. I raised my kids that they can ask for a reason on a decision so they understand it. When this kid was around, &amp;quot;why?&amp;quot; was always so they could argue, generally by contradicting: &amp;quot;but we won't!&amp;quot; &amp;quot;no it isn't!&amp;quot; and so on. So tiring. I had a set phrase for her which is &amp;quot;I've explained my reasoning to you and I'm not open to changing it.&amp;quot; I don't think I would have done that to my own kids, but they didn't drag me down with lawyering every chance they got.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thought. Once conversation between the two of you is relatively normal, do take a look at how you talk. Some people (and I have no information to know that this applies to you) put unnecessary &amp;quot;color&amp;quot; into their conversations that can offend other people. For example, if A doesn't belong in B but was put there nicely, saying &amp;quot;Don't just shove your A sloppily and lazily into the B and think you can pull it over on me&amp;quot; (to exaggerate.) If you think this might be you, luckily the  advice is the same: focus on simply stated facts like &amp;quot;your things can't be in there.&amp;quot; I only mention it to alert you to the possibility that a conversational habit that triggers defensiveness, argument and pushback from this child could be having an effect on others who don't react to it but still don't like it. There's an opportunity for you to think about how you talk to everyone hidden in this hard-to-deal-with child. That said, I don't think the majority of such situations arise from the wording choices of the person getting all the pushback; I just wanted to mention it as a minority possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-03-16T22:45:28.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11807" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11808" CreationDate="2014-03-16T17:54:08.317" Score="7" ViewCount="1314" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand my 9 year old  is at the age where children are beginning to assert their independence and are about to begin cutting the apron strings. From my experience with his big brother, I understand that, apparently, boys really don't want their moms to volunteer at middle school, for one.. fathers are a different matter: you can be called a mama's boy, but not a daddy's boy, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, this is not middle school yet. This is a gifted student program (where everybody is a geek and a mama's boy to a degree and there are no bullies), in a district where parents are known to volunteer a lot and keep a close eye on the kids at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, as a single(ish) mother, what is my role then?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are at the phase where my son is very affectionate in private, wants to sleep in my bed, can't tell me enough times how much he loves me; he is still OK with me volunteering. However, should I do something that does not meet his strict expectations at school (such as sit where other people apparently don't sit), he has tears running down his cheeks, he shows me his fist, and, worst of all, he is very public about admonishing me and publicly yells at me for &quot;embarrassing him&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On some level, I understand what's going on; but, in our culture especially, family comes first and respect for parents is non-negotiable. I don't think this behavior would be OK in any culture though.. he would not think about treating his teacher or principal this way, wherever he happened to sit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am certainly going to have a talk with him. What are your opinions about how to navigate this stage?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7048" LastEditorUserId="7048" LastEditDate="2014-03-16T17:59:46.150" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T16:16:46.590" Title="My 9 year feels I publicly embarrass him" Tags="|school|independence|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11807" CreationDate="2014-03-16T18:47:21.270" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The next time he does that, remove him from the situation (eg leave the classroom and go into the hall; leave the hall and go outside; whatever.) As a parent, nobody will challenge you doing this; just say &quot;Excuse us for a moment,&quot; and to the child say &quot;Come out here with me for a moment.&quot; When you get out of earshot of everyone, stay calm and say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;That is not how you let me know I am doing the wrong thing. No matter how much it upsets you when I do something that embarrasses you I am sure you can find a way to tell me politely, just as I tell you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then clarify, if you need to, where he wants you to sit or whatever, and go back into the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, at home, when things are calm, you can suggest some sort of secret signal between the two of you that he can use for those situations. You can also emphasize that yelling and fist showing are simply unacceptable and you expect him to speak to you with respect even if he is upset. (And of course, you are modelling this to him yourself the whole time.) Plenty of &quot;we&quot; sentences like &quot;we don't yell,&quot; &quot;we don't hit each other or threaten to,&quot; and so on will emphasize both the symmetry of your rules (there's no double standard) and your confidence that he can and will comport himself this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not suggest the secret signal first. Doing so skips the part where you tell him &quot;what you are doing right now is unacceptable.&quot; For a nine-year old, &quot;what you did earlier this morning (or worse, yesterday or last week) is unacceptable&quot; is a bit of a challenge. So wait for it to happen again so that you can be clear that it's not ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, consider the possibility that someone has teased him about liking you and perhaps about &quot;letting you get away with&quot; the sorts of sins 9 year olds care about, like sitting in the wrong place. His over-reaction and intense emotion may be due to conflict related to this teasing. If this could be so, you might (during that calm time when you're talking about the secret signal) acknowledge that unwritten rules are important and powerful, and that you know in many groups they are enforced by being mean to those who break them or allow others to break them. See what you hear in response to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-03-16T18:47:21.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11810" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11819" CreationDate="2014-03-17T04:01:27.613" Score="15" ViewCount="1678" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a pretty point blank question. In case you don't know what selective deafness is, here's an example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Hey Timmy, help me carry the laundry?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timmy: &amp;quot;...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Hey Timmy, I really could use your help; there is a lot to carry&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timmy:&amp;quot;...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Hey Timmy, I just saw the ice cream truck stop outside&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timmy: &amp;quot;What?! Can we go!? Can we go!?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have any children named Timmy but you get the idea. What do you do in those situations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T20:32:08.147" Title="How should you deal with (deliberate) selective deafness?" Tags="|behavior|communication|listening|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11811" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11824" CreationDate="2014-03-17T04:10:52.900" Score="1" ViewCount="195" Body="&lt;p&gt;If parents don't use Facebook, how will their children know how to use Facebook or other social media technology in healthy ways?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should parents be utilizing these technologies so at least their children will have an example?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm talking about infants/toddlers, those who are new to life and technology. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7050" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2014-03-18T04:26:20.953" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T01:25:01.970" Title="Should parents of young children set an example of socializing by using Facebook?" Tags="|toddler|infant|social-media|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11811" CreationDate="2014-03-17T11:53:19.773" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think it is necessary to use all the technology that your children are using to help them understand how to use it safely. There are way too many apps and other things that they can use and will use in the future for you to be able to use all of them and then teach them proper usage. I feel that if you explain basic concepts like don't give out information on where you live, don't meet up with someone you only know from online, don't spend more than an hour a day catching up with friends, etc. and why these guidelines are important, those same ideas will work in twitter, snapchat, instagram, and such without you needing to be on each one. I do suggest you learn one or 2 of these &quot;social media&quot; technology to see what happens and what might happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they know why certain behaviors are important they will better be able to decide on their own what they should and shouldn't do in most situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2943" LastActivityDate="2014-03-17T11:53:19.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11813" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-17T14:10:39.203" Score="4" ViewCount="8788" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old girl has never slept through the night. She used to wake 3 times a night for a bottle and then 5 times a night for a bottle now she is so bad she wakes up 10-15 times a night and won't go back to sleep without drinking her bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm getting little to no sleep in the evenings. I don't know why she wakes up so many times.&#xA;But what I do know is that she won't stop crying and go back to sleep without a bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need help on getting her to sleep through all the way through the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read her books, nice warm bath, settling time. she is not hot or cold, thirsty or hungry.&#xA;It's just a bad habit and I don't know how to break it. Why does she wake so many times?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7053" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-04-06T00:43:23.937" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T10:35:56.767" Title="My 2-year-old doesn't want to sleep through the night and drinks 5-7 bottles per night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11810" CreationDate="2014-03-17T14:37:16.317" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One idea is to ask the child a question to check whether they have heard or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pappa: Timmy, Can you take out the trash?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Timmy: ...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Pappa: Timmy, Can you take out the trash?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Timmy: ...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Pappa: Timmy, Did you hear what I said?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Timmy (in a perfect world): You said to take out the trash.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-03-17T14:37:16.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11815" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11833" CreationDate="2014-03-17T15:25:05.597" Score="9" ViewCount="4514" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old son has started using words like 'kill', 'murder' and 'stab' when he's playing with me or other kids. He's not angry or violent about it. For example we might be playing/pretending to be ninjas and he'll say &quot;I'm going to murder you&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His school teacher emailed his mother and I and said that his use of these words had upset some of the other students. I can't help but think it was more upsetting to the teachers than the students since, again, he uses these words in the context of play and has no history of violence. Indeed, he's an extremely sensitive boy and will get weepy when I do nothing more than raise my voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His mother is very concerned about this and wants to get him into counseling. I'm less concerned and am more willing to chalk it up to behavior befitting a 7 yr old boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be more concerned than I am? Is his mother overreacting? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7054" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T02:47:32.323" Title="7 Yr Old Using Violent Language During Play" Tags="|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11816" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-17T17:56:54.020" Score="2" ViewCount="76" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been using motorola's monitor system for some time, which comes with both monitors and cameras, and can be expanded with their proprietary devices.  (You can add another camera and see both on the same monitor, etc.) We're trying alternatives because that line has a crazy-high failure rate for the speaker in the monitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're considering systems like Dropcam, where it's just a camera, and you use your existing devices (iPad, iPhone, etc. as the screen/speakers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting aside brand-specific features, my question is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are the pros and cons of a setup with a dedicated monitoring screen vs. a one that uses your mobile devices?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assume that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We use it for both audio and video monitoring&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We need it on all night, and to let us hear any noises when we're in bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We also run it while we're up and about in other rooms in the evening or at nap time, when the kids are up, but we're not.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ease of initial setup is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a consideration, as I'd be using a system I'm confident I can get set up over wi-fi or whatever in any case.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T10:33:36.193" Title="What are the tradeoffs to consider between monitor systems with dedicated screens and mobile-based ones (iPhone, android, etc.)" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11810" CreationDate="2014-03-17T19:37:59.257" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get their attention &lt;strong&gt;first&lt;/strong&gt; before you say anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timmy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timmy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until you get through to them, say nothing else. Try not to give away whether this is an icecream moment or a laundry moment. Surprise them by sometimes getting their attention with a laundry basket in your arms and saying &amp;quot;when I've got this laundry put away, do you want to have icecream together?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't get through to them with just their name, use a louder or sharper tone, or touch them. If they don't appear to fully engage (the grunt or yeah they learn a few years before puberty) don't start talking. Keep working on engaging them. Now if you never have anything fun on offer they will never engage, so be worth hearing at least once in a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally once you have them engaged (&amp;quot;look at my face!&amp;quot; I used to say to the kids) you can ask for help or offer the fun activity or whatever else. And make them say &amp;quot;no thankyou&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;I'd rather not&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;I need to finish this first&amp;quot; or whatever is an appropriate way to demur. (If there is no appropriate way to demur, then don't ask, &lt;strong&gt;tell&lt;/strong&gt;.) You will know they heard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-03-17T19:37:59.257" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11820" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-17T20:45:31.363" Score="16" ViewCount="12492" Body="&lt;p&gt;For my son's 10th birthday we told him he could invite 3 friends over for a sleepover.  The party was a ton of fun until the next day, ( for me that is!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I received a text message from the mother of one of my son's friends ( whom was not invited to the party.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She texted &quot; so are you going to make me ask or a are you going to tell me?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I responded with a &quot; what!?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She replied, &quot; why wasn't (my son) invited? &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told her that I hope his feelings aren't hurt and that we left the decision up to (my son) and the other reason was her son wouldn't  like having to sleep in the basement and watch a scary movie.( all of which were big problems in the past) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mother of the boy who wasn't invited told her son that he wasn't invited to the party. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She made the comment that she was more hurt than her son.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The relationship between her and I has been... eventfull.  She wants us to be &quot;BFF&quot;.  I mean I like her and all but I'm not the type of person who wants to hang out with them every weekend and go grocery shopping together.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son and her son don't really have much in common.  My son is big into sports whereas he doesn't like sports.  Her son plays video games daily whereas mine is only allowed to play on Saturdays.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any input on this would help as I'm now upset with her for making this into a big deal and being yet again, more drama into my life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7056" LastEditorUserId="2679" LastEditDate="2014-03-18T13:50:41.933" LastActivityDate="2014-11-20T20:14:26.513" Title="How should I respond to a parent who's upset their child wasn't invited to a (small) birthday party?" Tags="|party|birthday|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11810" CreationDate="2014-03-17T20:47:16.903" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have their hearing tested? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was accused of selective deafness by his kindergarten teacher. Guess what, a doctor found that he was partially deaf. Blocked Eustachian tubes had filled his inner ears with liquid reducing his hearing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After surgery, and grommets and 6 months recovery, there were still some issues. In a noisy environment, he had a hard time hearing. We had another test done (a figure-ground discrimination test) and found that his brain had a hard time processing sound when the background sound was raised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have eliminated a medical reason, then you can look for a behavioural one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-03-17T20:47:16.903" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11820" CreationDate="2014-03-17T22:33:23.127" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this situation, I think you responded in the best possible way. You deferred to your son's choice, since ultimately it was his birthday; his choice of friends. You referenced historical evidence that it would have been a problem for her son due to the activities scheduled. You've also recognized the quality of relationship your son has with his friends, which parents don't always notice. Kudos to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now here is the hard part: Everything else is her problem. Her apprehensions and hurt are issues that &lt;strong&gt;she&lt;/strong&gt; has to deal with. You can't do anything to change them. Don't feel bad and move on. If she is unwilling to get over it, then allow the sons to remain friends but distance yourself from the drama. You are already a parent and probably have a ton more responsibilities. Don't let someone else's insecurities distract you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-18T00:39:01.170" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T00:39:01.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11811" CreationDate="2014-03-18T08:09:42.897" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants and toddlers don't yet have the information to understand normal, basic, face to face social interactions. They cannot understand the point of social media, publishing, and broadcasting. Lay the basics first, then layer on the advanced stuff. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7058" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T08:09:42.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11816" CreationDate="2014-03-18T10:33:36.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking as one who's used both, cost and cross-brand compatibility are key to me.  We use Foscams, and a couple of different iOS apps to monitor the kids' rooms via our iThings (and a standard browser on our Macbooks).  Compared to the Samsung and Motorola systems we used in the past (and the audio-only ones we used early on) we have much fewer failures and lost connections using the IP cameras.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We set up one on each side of the bed at night, tuned to each individual kid, and have no issues hearing and seeing each one.  We can also adjust the iThing we're using so that the monitor brightness doesn't affect our ability to sleep, while still allowing us to keep an eye and ear open for anything going on with the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I honestly cannot think of a single pro for a proprietary monitoring system (not one of the ones we used) that gives it any sort of advantage over using the IP cameras + free apps that we use today.  The IP cameras are cheaper and more reliable than any of the other systems we've used (one camera did have a tendency to lose its IP address, but the manufacturer replaced it quickly and kept us happy as consumers), the audio and video quality are quite adequate to our needs, and they have those little perks (like being able to record audio and video for giggle purposes later (for example, last night at bedtime my nearly 3-yr-old son dismantled his potty; we shared the video with his grandparents so we could all chortle a bit at his inventiveness in avoiding sleep)) that make these things not just essential but fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T10:33:36.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11803" CreationDate="2014-03-18T10:53:15.613" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, first of all i don't think its we that need to flip a switch, play-time is just as important in parenting as feeding your child, its food for their soul.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But to answer the question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;how do you flip the switch between playmate to parent to educate them that what they did was wrong but then be able to transition back to playmate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't. Its upon how your child reacts to your response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE: &quot;Merel&quot; is the name of our 4 year old daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our home when playtime goes bad we first give her a warning:&quot;Merel, i don't want to see that! [name the situation you don't want to see]&quot;. Make sure you make eye-contact. Usually she said:&quot;Ok, sorry.&quot; and we can continue as we were.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that fails, we add a consequence:&quot;Merel, i don't want to see that again! or else we cant play with [insert whatever we were doing]!&quot;. Make sure you make eye-contact again. But usually when she is acting out like that for a second time its because she is bored, or looking for borders(to cross).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if a third time happens, we execute the consequence. IF it happens, cause after the 2nd warning, we usually try to hand her alternatives of what we are doing or get her to focus on what we were doing again. Although this does not remove conflict entirely, cause sometimes they are just looking to see how far they can go, which is good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some extra tips:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its important to be consistent, sit down with your wife/girlfriend and make a rule for yourself on how you are going to discipline your child, and do not break this rule, ever. Its very important that we make things predictable for them, and in not doing so you will just end up adding fuel to the fire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never just take/copy advise from peers, just because it works for our family does not mean it could work for you, every kid is unique. Adapt where needed, keeping consistency in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make eye contact when explaining, and get on the same level, physically. Presenting yourself as large as possible only adds to his/her feeling of unfairness and can even intimidate them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7059" LastEditorUserId="7059" LastEditDate="2014-03-18T11:25:22.153" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T11:25:22.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11803" CreationDate="2014-03-18T12:32:01.523" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One interesting approach is the one championed by Teacher Tom (&lt;a href=&quot;http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;teachertomsblog.blogspot.com&lt;/a&gt;). Basically, make informative statements about your child's actions and their effects on the world (&quot;You're hurting me.&quot; or &quot;You said thank you to the lady at the store, and, see, it made her smile.&quot;, &quot;I can't let you do this, it's dangerous&quot;) and model the behavior you'd like to see. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our family, in terms of play, it means stopping tickling when our daughter asks us to (in our house, &quot;no&quot; always means &quot;no&quot;). It means being respectful in our interventions with her (saying please and thank you when we ask her to help with something), explaining unpleasant but essential physical procedures beforehand (like administrating medicine by force, or holding her for a vaccine, if she's not willing to do it on her own), giving her options whenever possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That attitude does not change whether we're playing or &quot;parenting&quot; - we're always attempting to treat her the way we'd like to be treated if we turned into not fully capable and slightly demented adults (something that might happen someday after all).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7022" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T12:32:01.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11799" CreationDate="2014-03-18T13:40:09.370" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer: Tell the the truth&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long answer: My father went to jail... twice for the same offence, one time for a short period, 6 months, in which my mom told us nothing, and one time for 2 years, and my mother spoke openly about it towards me and my older sister, we also visited regularly and my dad always had writings to give to us or nice drawings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those 6 months were more hell for me than those 2 years, pure for the fact that I was missing my dad, and not knowing where he went or if he would come back caused me to act out, badly, towards everybody in my surrounding. School grades dropped significant and I alienated all of my friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In those 2 years we visited every month, and he asked how school was (and how my grades were going), how home was, if I helped my mother. It helped me a lot, instead of acting out, I did my utmost to ensure that when we came to visit him, he would be proud of me. It was still tough as hell but it brought me, my sister and my mother, and eventually my dad, closer together, we came out stronger as a whole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But what about men who are going to get out of jail shortly? Are children significantly harmed by the harsh reality that their father has been punished for misdeeds against the community?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always saw my father as my father, if that's what you mean, he was and still is my superhero.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Does the nature of the crime and the age of the children alter the equation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well it's difficult, the fact is that sooner or later, they will be confronted with their parents' past, so I think honesty is still the best way to move forward, you don't want this situation to cause more problems than it already had. If the child is old enough, I think it's best to let them decide if they want to see him. If it's too young to comprehend the situation just bring it to visits, it would strengthen the father and gives him motivation to stay on track, prison life changes a man.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7059" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-05T12:20:00.250" LastActivityDate="2019-05-05T12:20:00.250" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11829" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-18T14:24:56.233" Score="18" ViewCount="45058" Body="&lt;p&gt;Giving citrus fruit to a baby that is just starting on solids is discouraged on several places online, however i cannot find any solid reasoning behind this advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has there been any scientific research on this, or is it an (often repeated) old wives tale? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask because my 6 month old son loves mandarines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7062" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-24T18:48:03.287" LastActivityDate="2016-06-26T18:00:40.530" Title="Is citrus fruit safe for babies?" Tags="|infant|food|solids|weaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11820" CreationDate="2014-03-18T16:09:23.850" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would focus on two aspects here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;three is a very small party; she probably assumed something like one-per-year and was therefore concluding her son is your son's 11th-favorite friend. Ouch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she didn't know in advance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There comes an age where one-per-year hang-at-my-house-cake-and-balloons morphs into a much smaller thing. Often this has to do with car capacity or the cost of the special activity. There's no fault in you not being willing to supervise a large sleepover. However this other mother had no idea. If you want to make her (and people like her) somewhat happier, once you've decided on something like this you could mention in passing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;End of an era for me this year. [Son] doesn't want a big party, just two or three kids for a sleepover. By the way, I think [your son] isn't going to be one of them - scary movies in the basement aren't his thing anyway, right? I hope it doesn't disappoint him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you see them regularly you could continue with a reference to something you're already planning to do together. If you see them so rarely that you wouldn't speak to her in person between the decision and the party you could do a FB update (or whatever your group uses) that runs more like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;End of an era for me this year. [Son] doesn't want a big party, just two or three kids for a sleepover. Means some of his close friends won't be included, but I'll just have to make sure he gets a variety of friend time this month. It's his choice how to celebrate, after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This one is a little more passive aggressive I suppose (if it's truly only aimed at your sensitive friend) but heck, there could be others wondering why their boys are not in the in-list and not realizing how small the party was. You can probably still do a variant of this if you have a party picture to post. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your sensitive friend, if she brings it up again you can apologize &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt; for not letting her know in advance and for her feelings of surprise and confusion. But don't apologize for your son's choices -- if you support his power to choose his own party, stick to that position. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T16:09:23.850" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11829" CreationDate="2014-03-18T20:00:25.110" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics no longer recommends avoiding citrus fruit explicitly; see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/feeding-nutrition/pages/Switching-To-Solid-Foods.aspx&quot;&gt;this resource&lt;/a&gt; for more detail as to what they do recommend.  (Largely, any food.)  The primary concerns now are honey (botulism) and nitrates in food (spinach, beets, green beans, squash, and carrots are specifically called out as potentially containing higher nitrate levels, and to be avoided early on if home-prepared).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prior to the last few years, the AAP recommended avoiding them because of the acidity; some pediatricians still refer to this advice.  This can both cause diaper rash and facial rashes; my children (1 and 2.5) both love tomatoes, and can give themselves diaper rash by eating a large quantity of them.  The AAP no longer refers to this advice; similar to the one-time prohibition of strawberries and eggs due to allergy concerns which were found to be scientifically unfounded (the idea of avoiding allergens early on to avoid allergies later), that advice seems to be no longer applicable.  Of course, if your child is specifically sensitive, use caution, as with any food item.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The primary concern I'd have with mandarins at 6 months is the high sugar content.  Similar to fruit juice, mandarins should be occasional treats, not regular food items.  A six month old will not be able to chew them, likely, so is simply sucking on the pieces - thus not consuming the fiber of the fruit, only the juice; further, if you are using canned mandarins, those are in highly sweet syrup as well.  While it's true that avoiding sweets entirely isn't necessary, and consuming sweets won't necessarily cause a later desire for sweets, you don't want to be replacing too many 'good' calories with sugar.  Carrot and celery sticks, cucumber sticks, and numerous other options that are lower in sugar are available for babies who like to chew or suck on food items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, be very careful with whole fruit at this age due to the choking risk.  While my children periodically did have pieces of mandarin-sized oranges (&quot;cuties&quot;), it was always well supervised and in very limited quantities so any choking risk could be mitigated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T20:00:25.110" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11813" CreationDate="2014-03-18T21:27:08.490" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to your doctor about her nighttime habbits. Also I would think that it is probibly time to say bye bye to the bottle. Again, double check with the doctor but they need to get all their nutrition during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We stopped night time bottles with my son around 8 months if I remember correctly. It was hard for all of us. He would wake up and cry for a long time, but after 2 or three nights he started sleeping a lot better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7064" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T21:27:08.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11815" CreationDate="2014-03-18T22:09:57.053" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Michael Thompson (child psychologist and author of several great books on raising boys and their emotional development) likes to say (I'm paraphrasing), kids know the difference between real violence and play, and we lose credibility with them when we act like we cannot tell the difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're playing a game where you're pretending to be assassins (that's what Ninjas are), it seems perfectly appropriate to act out what they'd say and do. In fact, as the father of a 7 year old boy, I'd think it weird not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, it's important that he understand that (a) he must distinguish between people who are willing participants &quot;in the game&quot; with whom he's engaging in play violence, and those who are not and might find the play unwelcome; and (b) that there are specific times and places where play violence is not appropriate (his school may be one of those places, if they are humorless about it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Google &quot;Michael Thompson&quot; and you'll find lots of references about play violence in boys, and how we are not doing them a service by overreacting to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2014-03-18T22:09:57.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11835" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-18T23:59:25.103" Score="10" ViewCount="673" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's clear that children growing up with the internet the same way that my generation grew up with television: it's ubiquitous. Just like my parents worried that too much TV would harm me, it's not difficult to worry about my children being harmed by the 'net. This last week, dana boyd wrote a thoughtful &lt;a href=&quot;http://time.com/23031/danah-boyd-let-kids-run-wild-online/&quot;&gt;opinion piece&lt;/a&gt; for Time Magazine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What makes the digital street safe is when teens and adults collectively agree to open their eyes and pay attention, communicate and collaboratively negotiate difficult situations. Teens need the freedom to wander the digital street, but they also need to know that caring adults are behind them and supporting them wherever they go. The first step is to turn off the tracking software. Then ask your kids what they're doing when they're online&amp;mdash;and why it’s so important to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is great advice and I wholeheartedly intend to follow it. My 10-year-old son certainly is growing up with the internet and we talk a lot about the things he does online. (Mostly he plays Minecraft and watches instructional videos...about Minecraft.) Checking in on his activities (by asking, not snooping) has been reassuring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he managed to install a ton of adware on our family computer. (I suspect he followed some link claiming to make our computer run faster.) Thankfully, I caught the problem early. When I asked him about it the next day, he was evasive. He seemed relieved, actually, when I mentioned that I had turned on password protection for administrator tasks to prevent problems in the future. I suspect he knew he'd screwed up and was worried about how I'd react.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to believe that communication between children and parents will make his online interactions safer, but what can be done when communication breaks down? When shame prevents a child from coming to the parent for help, doesn't that make boyd's advice somewhat risky?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="4521" LastEditDate="2014-03-19T19:37:09.690" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T15:38:18.017" Title="How can we help children learn to handle online freedom?" Tags="|middle-childhood|internet|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11675" CreationDate="2014-03-19T00:36:39.807" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife came up with a good solution, as usual. She arranged a meeting between our son and the coordinator of the event. After one of the practice sessions, the three of them talked about the competition and what it would feel like. She used an illustration of how people naturally fold their hands:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chironomia&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/gpRh6.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Folded hands&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether the fingers are crossed or clasped, everyone feels having either the left or the right hand above the other is more comfortable. The teacher explained that practice is like that; it's about getting comfortable with the math. But the competition is like reversing the order of your hands.  Now you don't feel so comfortable.  But you can still do it. Having heard that explanation, my son instantly felt better about the competition. It's still a few weeks away, but much of the anxiety has dropped away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several things occurred to me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I doubt he would have taken the same advice from me. We'd talked through my anxiety as a boy his age with similar competitions and he wasn't convinced. I'm a lot more confident in uncomfortable situations now than I was even a few years ago, so I don't think he believed I could be as worried as he was.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The illustration is probably too simple to cover &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of his fears. But it honed in on the critical one. Once that was settled, it was a lot easier for him to think through the rest of his concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It was a team effort: all three adults and my son needed to work together. If the coordinator hadn't been sympathetic, there's a good chance we would have needed to let my son quit. Thankfully, she has many years of experience both as a teacher and principal and knew just how to approach the matter. He wouldn't have talked to her if my wife hadn't taken the lead.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Thinking about my own experience, the only way to gain confidence in unfamiliar situations is dive into them and prove to yourself that you can make it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T00:36:39.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11815" CreationDate="2014-03-19T02:47:32.323" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think your boy needs counseling based on my observations of my boys and their interactions with the other kids on the block. They are always &quot;killing&quot; something. Not literally. Not so much my oldest, but even he is oblivious to it, which supports your theory that it's the &lt;em&gt;teachers&lt;/em&gt; that are upset by it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I had an incident last year where my boy and his friends (all aged 7) made a &quot; butt&quot; by carving a &quot;crack&quot; in an apple in the lunch room. This was big time funny stuff and it attracted the attention of the lunch attendant, who promptly reported it to the principal. My son and the other boys were reprimanded, and me and the other parents got the dreaded email (like you), where we were instructed to get our boys on track &lt;em&gt;or else&lt;/em&gt;.   The school acted like someone was sexually assaulted, but c'mon, making an apple into a butt IS funny, not to mention pretty normal for 7 year old boys, and relatively harmless. I suspect the lunch lady was offended, not the children. However, the school's reaction to it forced us to deal with it seriously, lest our boy be charged with a sex crime before he learned cursive.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This is why, to a certain extent, I agree with your wife that the behavior needs to stop...at school at least.  They just have zero tolerance for violence (or apple- butts), so you need to make sure he understands that even though &lt;em&gt;he's&lt;/em&gt; not serious, &lt;em&gt;it&lt;/em&gt; is a serious matter, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11683/9-year-old-son-brought-a-toy-gun-to-school-how-can-we-get-him-to-understand-thi&quot;&gt;believe me!&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Counseling, no. A serious chat regarding &quot;a time and a place for everything,&quot; yes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T02:47:32.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11839" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-19T03:12:17.560" Score="5" ViewCount="810" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're a bilingual household in a country that speaks a third language.  I speak Finnish to the kids, my wife speaks Japanese, and I speak Japanese with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our older son recently started going to preschool, so he's picking up English at an expected-but-still-astonishing rate.  He occasionally tries to speak it with me, in which case I pretend not to understand until he switches to Finnish, and my wife does the same for Japanese.  So far so good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But now he's also started speaking English to his younger brother, who's not yet verbal but will be soon enough.  Uh-oh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I realize that English will be their primary language (as long as we stay here), and I'm totally OK with that, it's my strongest language as well.  However, I would like them both to have a decent grasp of their parents' languages, so I'm not too keen on 'unnecessary' English in the house; unlike &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4190/how-do-we-raise-our-child-with-three-languages&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;, my wife and I never speak it at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: &lt;strong&gt;should we enforce a &quot;no English at home&quot; rule?&lt;/strong&gt;  If yes, how and to what extent (eg. at dinner table, when talking with both of us, even when it's only the two of them), and if no, why not?  Extra points for links to actual research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update&lt;/em&gt;: To expand on this a bit, our children have three passports, and it's entirely possible that we'll move to another country (with a fourth language!) at some point.  Our short-term goal is to make them fluent enough to talk with their grandparents; and longer term, that they can realistically study/work in any of those three countries when they're old enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-07-21T18:02:08.753" Title="Enforcing minority languages at home" Tags="|discipline|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11840" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-19T08:20:53.230" Score="1" ViewCount="2014" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm preparing for a long airplane flight with my family. I've been filling and freezing some refillable baby food pouches with chicken/veggie soup, etc. I'd like to also bring a couple of pouches with a baby cereal (probably oatmeal) + water + applesauce combination so that I have an easy ready breakfast-on-the-go. Is it ok to prepare this the night before the flight and put the pouch in the fridge?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1131" LastActivityDate="2014-04-19T00:45:22.060" Title="Can I prepare baby cereal in advance?" Tags="|food|travel|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11813" CreationDate="2014-03-19T09:41:48.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution was for us was to put a leakage-proof water bottle into her bed. She would wake up at night, take a sip, lie down again and continue sleeping. The bottle would just lie beside her ( It was a NUK Easy Learning Cup ). That gave her the comfort she would need at nightly sleep interruptions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After we got a bigger bed for her with 2 1/2 years we converted the bottle to an open plastic glass with water that stands beside the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As soon as we felt she was self-aware enough to go go the bathroom alone at night we stopped the glass of water beside the bed because it was a bit prone to be knocked over accidentally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7066" LastEditorUserId="7066" LastEditDate="2018-04-06T09:23:14.683" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T09:23:14.683" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11842" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11843" CreationDate="2014-03-19T12:35:21.783" Score="6" ViewCount="455" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old son is biting to defend himself. I received a call from the daycare today asking what they should do. My son doesn't bite at home at all, he is only biting at school. For some reason the teacher only sees when my son bites the other kids but not when the other kids bite my son. If I don't tell them about the bite marks they wouldn't know about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The time when my son did bite at home was always when another child was bullying/hurting or biting him, so he resolves in biting back. My son doesn't cry when another child bites him and he won't tell on the other child when he is bitten/hurt or bullied. Neither does he want to point out which child it is. He was moved from one class to another to see if that helps, but on the playground they are still together with all the kids. He tends to only bite the one kid... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I go about this? I don't want to teach him to not stand up for himself, but to rather resolve it in another manner. But what can I do if he doesn't want to say anything?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4023" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-05T13:38:40.290" LastActivityDate="2019-01-05T13:38:40.290" Title="Son bites to defend himself. What can I do?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|bullying|biting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11842" CreationDate="2014-03-19T13:38:34.047" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Biting is tough; my oldest went through a stage at just over a year and it was very difficult to train him out of it.  It took around four months to get him to stop; he just didn't understand it was wrong, even with books, 'Ouch, Biting Hurts', giving more attention to the bitee, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Biting at three is a bit different, though.  A three year old has some (limited) understanding that what they're doing is wrong.  However, the three year old also has some understanding of his or her situation; it's possible that the child who your child bites (and bites your child) is indeed a bully, and your child doesn't see any good way to solve the problem except by retaliating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would put this primarily in the teachers' laps.  In particular, if it's just one other child, it should be up to them to watch these two (watch your son until they figure out which other child it is) and ensure they don't get too close (or, whatever seems to set it off doesn't come to pass; perhaps they play together reasonably until one of them wants a toy the other has, or similar.)  This probably won't be forever; it might just be a few weeks or a month or two, until both children learn it is not going to work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They should have enough teachers to watch like this; even if it's multiple classes together on the playground, at least in the US there are minimum standards for numbers of teachers per student (where I live, no more than 15 kids together and at least 1/7 ratio at that age if it's all 3+).  If they aren't willing to do this, then it's time to consider another daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, at home it sounds like you're doing the right thing.  Talk to him about it, find out what's going on (to the extent you can).  Teach him coping strategies for dealing with bullies.  Roleplay the situation; imagine the other child bit him, now, what's the right solution?  Not biting, but going to the teacher, or if he doesn't feel comfortable with that, walking away.  We struggle with this right now with our oldest, as our youngest just turned one and is still very hard for him to get along with (destructive play primarily); roleplaying helped some, at least, although walking away from his favorite toy can be hard to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider books.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1575421283&quot;&gt;This book&lt;/a&gt; is what we use; it's fairly young-aimed (often used at 1 year old level) but is still quite appropriate for 3 and helps with the role-playing and alternative strategies elements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T13:38:34.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11845" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-19T15:32:25.297" Score="7" ViewCount="688" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been trying a number of techniques (videos, naked time, etc.) to help our almost-3yo to use the potty consistently, with some progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of our techniques have fallen into the &quot;entourage, but don't pressure&quot; category.  No shame for using diaper, almost all voluntary potty time, but a lot of &quot;Let's try the potty!&quot; from us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the components we've been using includes rewards - our son got a lollipop for peeing in the potty, and we've been dangling bigger rewards (10 minutes with a comically large lollipop, &lt;em&gt;plus&lt;/em&gt; a special Thomas train he gets if he poops.  My question is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are direct rewards like snacks or toys generally thought to be helpful or harmful as incentives?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm less concerned about whether they work in the short term (most incentives do) than whether they might be undesirable in that they move motivation from intrinsic (I'm proud of what I can do because I'm growing up) to extrinsic (I do this to get stuff).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T21:01:25.173" Title="Are incentives (toys, candy) a good idea to help facilitate potty training?" Tags="|potty-training|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11845" CreationDate="2014-03-19T16:59:05.033" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, I believe intrinsic motivation is always stronger and more lasting than extrinsic, and entails fewer risks (e.g. feeling entitled to rewards for routine tasks).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation is touched upon in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5287/420&quot;&gt;Why should children be rewarded for good behaviour?&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1541/420&quot;&gt;How do I deal with a child that refuses to do a chore or task?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that intrinsic motivation can be hard to provide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been taking a similar approach to what you've described, although up until now, our extrinsic incentives have been limited to a couple of m&amp;amp;m candies when my son (now 3 and a half) pees on the potty, and the promise of an aquarium for when he's completely potty trained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has been... slow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son will happily try the potty most times if you suggest it, and will go through phases where he'll ask to go to the potty once or twice a day (especially if we're at a restaurant), but many times he doesn't actually have to go, and we've only had success with one bowel movement on the toilet (very early on, and likely an accident, as he seemed very surprised).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We discussed it with our pediatrician, and she cited lack of incentive.  My son is happy to get the m&amp;amp;m's, but that's just a minor treat.  He's excited by the idea of an aquarium, and keeps asking for it, but our pediatrician feels it isn't &quot;real enough&quot; for him, as it is just an abstract concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her suggestion was to take him to pick out the fish and aquarium, and then make a chart with concrete goals to work towards (e.g. &quot;Pee on the potty three days in a row and you get a guppy; go a full day without going in your diaper, and instead going on the potty each and every time, and you earn the aquarium; etc.&quot;).  Once he's achieved the final goal (full potty training), he gets all the rewards he's earned.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the professional advice we've gotten has been pretty firmly in favor of providing &lt;strong&gt;more&lt;/strong&gt; extrinsic motivation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're currently working on developing the goals and the chart, so we haven't yet started that (although we did take him to pick out the fish and aquarium ornaments he wants).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My perception is that my son's peers who have older siblings tend to go through potty training a lot faster than my son.  I'm not sure if that is simply due to the parents already having experience, or the intrinsic motivation of being able to be more like the older siblings, but I suspect that peer pressure from older siblings is one of the more effective intrinsic motivations out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard mixed results on some other methods of providing intrinsic motivation, like &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/4680/420&quot;&gt;potty parties&lt;/a&gt;&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T16:59:05.033" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2052" CreationDate="2014-03-19T17:28:16.950" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read the book, however, my kido took almost a fortnight to get used to it.&#xA; &quot;HOW TO&quot; books do not consider the individual personality types. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7068" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T17:28:16.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11848" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-19T17:28:20.047" Score="16" ViewCount="2562" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our twins are just starting to stand on their own, which is making getting them dressed a bit harder than they used to be.  For one thing, my son especially would prefer to stand rather than lie back and let me work. If I let him stand, he takes that as a signal to practice walking. Both of them tend to freak out when I start putting the neck hole of their shirt over their head. Instead of making a fist, they like to splay their fingers as I slide the sleeves on. When there are things to go on the feet (socks, shoes, footed pajamas, etc.), they curl their toes in an awkward manner. You get the picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step one is to find a way to make the changing process work better for now.  But looking forward to the future, are there habits we can get into now that will make self-dressing work better when the time comes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T05:39:24.777" Title="What's the most efficient way to dress a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|clothes|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11849" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="212" CreationDate="2014-03-19T18:33:14.200" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the picking is specifically related to the nostrils feeling dry + itchy, I would recommend trying to apply Aquaphor or other moisturizer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will both help the condition and make the idea of picking less appealing (getting sticky ointment on the picker's finger).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This simple emphasis has helped break cycles of picking -&gt; nosebleed -&gt; scabbing -&gt; re-picking with my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7070" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T18:33:14.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11845" CreationDate="2014-03-19T19:02:41.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3rd child was really stubborn, I ended up getting a large shoe box and filling it with dollar store toys as a reward treasure box.  It did work eventually!  All kids are different as far as their response to rewards.  if your child suffers from anxiety, then rewards can be a trigger for anxiety.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7071" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T19:02:41.640" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11848" CreationDate="2014-03-19T19:46:50.617" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, we had stages roughly like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;12 months: Put arms through sleeves.  Prior to this I began by puting shirt over neck, then positioned the hand in the arm hole, and then getting him to move his arm through the sleeve.  That moved into him finding the arm holes mostly on his own by 12-15 months.  That's probably the single biggest time saver.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;15-18 months: Begin allowing to pick out own clothes.  This was an important step, as it transitioned from being annoyed about dressing to being interested.  He went back and forth (and from this point on I talk only about our elder son, as our younger son is 12 months old currently); sometimes he'd pick them out, sometimes he'd ask us to choose (&quot;Daddy pick&quot;).  But either way, once he started having a choice, his complaints about dressing dropped dramatically.  It also gives you another carrot/stick to help move things along; &quot;You need to start picking before I count to 3 or I'm going to pick&quot; works wonders.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;18 months: put shoes on.  Around 18 months we were to get him to put on his shoes from 'unbuckled' stage.  This was really helpful, because he enjoyed buckling - so once he could do this a little, he quickly wanted to learn how to do it better, in particular since he knew it was something that was a precursor to playing outside.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;24 months: put on pants.  This began around 18 months with letting me put a leg in the beginning and pushing the rest of the way through; by 24 months he was coordinated enough to put his leg through himself.  I still (32 months) do most of this, but that's just for speed; he could do it if he wanted to, and does on his own sometimes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;24 months: Put on coat.  This is another one where he was excited to do it.  This came from daycare, in the concept of 'Flippy Coat'.  A bit over 24 months (based on his summer birthday, of course) they taught the 2 year old class to do this, where you lay out the coat on the ground, back down, head facing the child, open.  The child puts his arms through the sleeves (apparently backwards at this point - facing the coat) and then 'flips' the coat over his head, getting it into position correctly.  This is a lot of fun, and also is something where if your child likes to go out in the snow or cold, encourages them to learn it, similar to a dog grabbing his leash; the child puts on his coat to encourage you to go outside (or understands it's a necessary step).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of how to physically do it, the main thing is to be firm.  It's sort of like pulling off a bandaid; as long as you do it in one smooth, firm motion, there's a minimum of crying, and the child will get used to it.  Shirts are pretty easy for me; once you get the head through, the child will usually want to help out with the arms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of legs, if standing doesn't work (it mostly does for us), hold them on your lap with one arm while putting the leg through with the other, having the holding-arm hand available to help hold part as needed, or to help hold the leg straight (grasp the calf, slide the pants up to that point, then usually it is easy from there).  Get one leg on all the way before moving to the other.  Also, soft pants are much easier than jeans (and that could be an issue - my sons both dislike denim and will struggle far more with denim than with soft pants, so we gave up on denim entirely).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T19:46:50.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11839" CreationDate="2014-03-19T20:21:00.877" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;No research (sorry!) but personal experience:&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'd like to suggest that you take into account whether they are likely to need your languages (Fin/Jap) outside of your home? For instance, if you're in Britain, then knowing Finnish is a neat gimmick but hardly useful - unless you frequently visit (or have visitors from) Finland. Same for Japanese, of course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My situation is similar: I'm Danish but live in Austria. I speak exclusively Danish with my family although I am fluent in German. I accept that my kids speak German to me. I'd love if they'd speak Danish to me but at least I am certain that they understand everything I say, so it's half a victory. I think they would be able to make themselves understood in Danish if they really need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's not &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; important that your kids learn to actively &lt;em&gt;speak&lt;/em&gt; Jap/Fin then accept that they'll learn it passively. I don't think you will be successful at forbidding English at home. &lt;strong&gt;Embrace all languages.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T20:21:00.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11848" CreationDate="2014-03-19T20:28:20.283" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;The words &quot;efficient&quot; and &quot;toddler&quot; don't really go together.  Mostly, you just have to accept that things like getting dressed will take a lot longer while they are learning, and plan time in your schedule for it*.  There are a few tricks that can make it a &lt;em&gt;little&lt;/em&gt; easier, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have one parent hold the child still and assist while the other does the dressing.  You probably do a lot of &quot;divide and conquer&quot; with twins, but this approach can save you aggravation, if not time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're the only parent around, and the child wants to stand, try sitting on a chair and holding him between your legs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's a little hard to explain in words, but for a shirt, scrunch up with both hands around the neck hole so there's just a couple inches thickness to pop over his head all at once.  There's no freaking out when you start, because you're done pretty much as soon as you start.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can scrunch socks or footy pajamas in the same way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For arms, it's much easier to put your own hand through from the outside, grab his hand, and pull it through, than to try to push his hand and arm through from the inside.  He will want to do it himself eventually, but that works very well in the mean time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;* Even after they are experts at completely dressing themselves, you still have to plan extra time in your schedule, because when you think they are getting dressed while you're showering, they're actually doing something like peanut buttering the cat.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T20:28:20.283" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11842" CreationDate="2014-03-19T20:45:42.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son also received some serious bite marks as a toddler, and he learned to do the same. We made sure to tell him at every given situation that biting is wrong and he must speak up when it happens (daytime caregivers did the same). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thankfully he learned that biting and hitting is &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; okay, even in defense, and &lt;strong&gt;it always works to speak up,&lt;/strong&gt; to move away from the bully, and get support from adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're not teaching him to be a tattle-tale. He doesn't request adult help unless he has already tried unsuccessfully dealing with it alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T20:45:42.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11845" CreationDate="2014-03-19T21:01:25.173" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my understanding (also in progress!), the point of the extrinsic motivations, whatever they are, is to help get past the initial difficulties - for a chemist, think &quot;activation energy&quot;.  You want getting on the potty to be a comfortable, familiar experience, with positive associations.  So you provide an M&amp;amp;M or a sticker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That allows the child to get past the initial fear/discomfort, and start having successes.  Once that is past, the motivation likely will be unnecessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see charts as slightly different.  They are not exactly extrinsic motivation; they are a way of understanding the process in a way that allows you to see positive steps, which allows you to build intrinsic motivation.  It's sort of like being at work; if you work on some huge project and have no idea of how close you are to finishing, it can be hard to try and work and build up your intrinsic motivation; but if you see you just went from 25% to 30% complete, you are able to motivate yourself to get to 35%.  It is a sort of extrinsic motivation, but it's really geared towards allowing intrinsic motivation to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T21:01:25.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="212" CreationDate="2014-03-19T21:21:55.897" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What worked with my daughter...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) In no uncertain terms, I was very disgusted by the eating. Repeatedly and consistently. Nothing about the person, but the act itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Every chance I get, I offer her a nose picking to eat. Ask her why she won't eat everyone's nose pickings. If that seems gross then keep offering until that decision sticks and gets applied to her own pickings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what I would have done if she accepted other's pickings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7073" LastActivityDate="2014-03-19T21:21:55.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11840" CreationDate="2014-03-20T00:10:41.363" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never had any success pre-mixing cereal for my kids. They usually &lt;em&gt;hated&lt;/em&gt; the consistency when it was anything other than fresh. Honestly, if you are just using water and applesauce, it seems like just bringing the dry cereal + a pouch of applesauce+ a bottle of water and mixing it in an empty cup (which you should have no trouble procuring on the plane) isn't such a hassle. I used to do this in the car, at restaurants, at relatives houses, the park...it's worth a &lt;em&gt;little&lt;/em&gt; extra effort to avoid having cereal spit back in your face (or another passenger's!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are asking because you want to use the pouches (I don't blame you! Mess free!) for feeding convenience, I would at least suggest warming the mixture a bit; this seems to help the texture. You could ask the flight attendant for warm water in a cup and just float the pouch for a minute and then give it a few squeezes to break up the lumps.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best luck attempting a long flight with a young child. You are braver than me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T00:10:41.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2014-03-20T01:26:23.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Caution: This is only for non-prude parents¹&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you can just have sex in front of a toddler. If he/she is busy playing or reading or whatever, he wont notice. And if he sees you, you show him a smile to show him, that everything is ok. Even better would be to &lt;strong&gt;talk to her/him and say, that you want to be left alone/not be disturbed for some minutes.&lt;/strong&gt; You can explain her/him, that &lt;strong&gt;you are doing love.&lt;/strong&gt; Explaining is always good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with this method is, that there may arise a conflict between him and his siblings or anything else (hungry, thirsty, has to go to the toilet, …) where you have to intervene or respond. Or, if the toddler is still breastfed, the toddler could become attracted by the swinging bare milky breasts of his lovely mother (of course breastfeeding and having sex are not mutually exclusive, just a bit more complicated, and if for the first time for the parents, somewhat new and a little distracting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So waiting for the children to be asleep or out of the house clearly is the easiest solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;¹) By “non-prude” I mean parents, that have no problem to be naked in front of their children. That are able and willing to explain even a very small child, what sex is (not only the biological way, but emotional reasons).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4024" LastEditorUserId="4024" LastEditDate="2015-09-28T19:04:07.150" LastActivityDate="2015-09-28T19:04:07.150" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11839" CreationDate="2014-03-20T05:39:02.480" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a variant of the &quot;both parents speak the minority language&quot; model of bilingual childrearing, except with two minority languages, one for each parent. My sister and I grew up in the bilingual version, and I think its success definitely depended on the strict No Majority Language In The House rule that our parents enforced. Our friends from similarly bilingual homes whose parents were less strict -- most of them had televisions, gasp! -- were not nearly as fluent in the minority language, and some of them barely speak it now as adults. Others have become fully fluent, however, with spouses or jobs that depend on their knowledge of both languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how my parents handled things once my sister and I started learning English, but I think it helped that we're twins -- it meant that we were both learning the same things at the same time, and it also emphasized the &quot;private language&quot; aspect of bilingualism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what you decide about enforcing a &quot;No English&quot; rule, do keep in mind that language in children is easy come, easy go -- anything they don't use, they forget. You must reinforce your minority languages every chance you get, with reading, writing, music, and every type of popular entertainment you can lay your hands on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1883" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T05:39:02.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11848" CreationDate="2014-03-20T05:57:46.513" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddler? One word: Smartphone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is some great advice above, but in an emergency popping Elmo or a basketball game on a phone and handing it to the toddler can be a bailout when they are frustrated. Somewhat counterintuitively it even helps them focus on the hand that's going through a sleeve by having a big phone clenched in the other hand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're not a TV house and not particularly heavy on media in general, but this situation (even moreso the famous Poopy Diaper-Handsy Toddler Scenario) can sometimes call for a hack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7077" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T05:57:46.513" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5939" CreationDate="2014-03-20T06:51:35.800" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask the child to excuse your for a minute. Then, dress up quickly and attend to the child's needs, if any. If he/she brings up the topic, then you might have to discuss about sex. If he did not see much, you could probably pass it off as cuddling. If he saw too much, then you will have to explain everything to him, obviously in a way that he can understand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorUserId="7078" LastEditDate="2014-03-20T06:58:26.690" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T06:58:26.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11863" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11905" CreationDate="2014-03-20T07:09:30.060" Score="1" ViewCount="2884" Body="&lt;p&gt;Say you know that your son watches pornography and you may or may not have caught him in the act. How do you react to this ? Do you ban him from using the internet/monitor his activities or overlook if you think he watches a little bit once in a while ? Assume that he is not a addict and has a life beyond the internet. Please share your thoughts and/or experiences with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-03-21T12:36:47.983" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T14:26:13.727" Title="Dealing with teens and pornography?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9161" CreationDate="2014-03-20T07:26:13.173" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;19 years old ! This &quot;kid&quot; needs a reality check asap. Some suggestions - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to find out why he needs more. To impress girls, to fit in with the rich crowd etc. ? If those are the reasons behind his behavior, then explain why he should not spend money on those things.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell him to &lt;strong&gt;get a job&lt;/strong&gt; as short-term experiment and see how money does not literally grow on trees. Teach him the importance of living within his means. &lt;strong&gt;EDIT -&lt;/strong&gt; Make this point 1. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give examples of how poor people live and remind him to be grateful for what he has. At the same time, tell him that if he wants more in life, then he HAS to work for it. Make it clear that you can provide him the means to attain financial independence, but you can't be his ATM forever. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have these discussions when you both are calm. Otherwise, the discussion could turn bitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorUserId="7078" LastEditDate="2020-02-12T19:53:02.157" LastActivityDate="2020-02-12T19:53:02.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11848" CreationDate="2014-03-20T17:25:28.697" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll often sit with my legs crossed, set them in my lap, plop the head through the neck hole, then reach through the sleeves, grab their hands, and pull them through.  Then I put their legs in the pants, stand them up while I'm still sitting and pull their pants up the rest of the way, and their shirt down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they grow I work on having them lift their legs at the appropriate times, and putting their arms through the sleeves themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if it needs to get done quickly regardless of their current attitude, this works pretty well. If they're grumpy I can usually play a little with them getting up and me grabbing them and sitting them back down, &quot;Hey, get back here!&quot; a few times to get them laughing, then dress them suddenly and keep playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the process I'll also tell them what I'm doing.  After a few times of, &quot;Head in the shirt... arms in the shirt... legs in the pants...&quot; they pick up on it and know what to expect, and get a little advance warning for each step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T17:25:28.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11866" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-20T18:37:26.767" Score="5" ViewCount="212" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to teach both my kids to be the kind of people who will willingly insert themselves into situations where they can do some good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope to raise them to take pride in their ability to speak up for weaker kids, offer help or advice where they have it, and view the world as a place they can potentially change for the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is how to teach them to find the right balance - there's a fine line between being known as the the person who jumps in to help moderate an escalating situation, and the person who thinks they know better than everyone else, or who is regularly lecturing others on the rules, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What approach can teach the value of being a voluntary force for good without pushing in in places where you're likely to be viewed as a consistently unwelcome bossypants?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T02:06:24.307" Title="How can I teach my children to intervene in situations where they can help, without risking becoming busybodies, know-it-alls, etc" Tags="|teaching|morals|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11839" CreationDate="2014-03-20T18:45:13.283" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would definitely try to enforce the 'No English' rule at home, although realistically, I'm not sure you will be able to keep it for very long. I'll also second what JPmiaou wrote about using every chance to expose them to the minority languages, and taking comfort in the idea that they won't forget what they learn, even if they one day decide not to use the minority languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this website might help you further: &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.francoisgrosjean.ch/myths_en.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.francoisgrosjean.ch/myths_en.html&lt;/a&gt; &#xA;(also check out the links at the bottom of the page)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've still been thinking about this. In the last paragraph, Prof Grosjean wrote &quot;It is important though that the situation be  truly monolingual (and not a &quot;pretend situation&quot; in which a bilingual parent pretends  not to know the other language); children will make an effort to speak only one language if they feel it is vital for communication.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand this as meaning that yes, you can set a 'No English' rule at home, it''s just that once they're older, they might not have the motivation to answer you in Finnish or Japanese, and you'll probably have to accept that. However, when you address them, you are free to keep speaking your language as long as you feel that makes sense. In any case, I would not try to enforce the 'No English' rule for when the two kids are talking to one another, as you'll only make them resent the minority language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastEditorUserId="7088" LastEditDate="2014-03-20T21:11:17.953" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T21:11:17.953" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11868" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-20T20:42:49.350" Score="11" ViewCount="569" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is a freshman in college and was sexually assaulted/raped on campus about 7 months ago. I noticed some cuts on her wrist when she was home last weekend and she admitted that she is cutting her wrists. She is not a very open girl and I am not sure what is going on in her head and why she is doing this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7090" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-03-30T23:41:35.923" LastActivityDate="2018-03-30T23:41:35.923" Title="How can I help my daughter's depression?" Tags="|abuse|mental-health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11869" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-20T21:27:02.403" Score="2" ViewCount="2087" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our three-year-old son is quite picky when it comes to food. He has not been interested in eating fruits and vegetables, but recently he started to dislike certain meats as well. He would munch the food in his mouth, but not swallow it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything we can do to encourage him to swallow his food? Or is it something that will pass after some time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His daily food consumption is something like the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;07:30 chocolate bread, cheese, 1 milk &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10:30 1 yoghurt, 2 biscuits&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;12:30 rice, pork or chicken soup, eats a lot&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;16:00 1 milk, 2 biscuits&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;18:00 rice, pork or chicken soup, eats a little&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been following the above routine for some time, but I wonder why only recently did he develop this habit of not swallowing his food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-12-26T19:56:32.670" LastActivityDate="2014-12-26T19:56:32.670" Title="How to encourage a toddler to swallow his food?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11870" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-20T21:42:09.833" Score="6" ViewCount="290" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's that time of year again: &lt;a href=&quot;http://boyslife.org/section/hobbies-projects/pinewood-derby/&quot;&gt;Pinewood Derby&lt;/a&gt;! The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scouting.org/About/FactSheets/OverviewofBSA.aspx&quot;&gt;Cub Scout motto&lt;/a&gt; is &quot;Do Your Best&quot;. But it's also important to recognize true excellence. Our pack does a good job of balancing those values by giving trophies to every participant, but &lt;em&gt;bigger&lt;/em&gt; trophies instead for cars that win for speed or craftsmanship. Even boys with slow cars and no particular skill in woodworking stand a chance of getting an award for &quot;Most Creative&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a Cub Scout, my father showed me how to use the tools and more or less turned me loose on a block of wood. I can't say my efforts were very good and I was always amazed that other cars came out so much nicer than my own. It wasn't until much later that I discovered the truth: other fathers had a much more &quot;hands-on&quot; attitude than my own did. I can't know for sure, but it's hard to shake a suspicion that beautifully carved, sanded, painted, and polished cars have far more to do with the work of the fathers than anything their sons did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the one hand, it's frustrating to see children discouraged by losing to (basically) an adult. But on the other hand, some fathers and sons just enjoy working together on a task like making a great-looking car. My son and I prefer to spend time doing other things, like playing board games. Seems like sour grapes to complain that other families enjoy spending more time on Pinewood Derby than we do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does it make any sense to explain all of this when we notice boys who are disappointed when their cars perform poorly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T12:57:02.050" Title="How to deal with children succeeding because of their parent's efforts rather than their own?" Tags="|activities|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11870" CreationDate="2014-03-20T22:23:48.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seems like a really good opportunity for an excellent conversation with your son about what he derives enjoyment from.  We had a question not too long ago about 'competition anxiety' that had some really good answers dealing with the fact that winning is one goal, but not the only goal.  Does your son primarily enjoy the competition for winning?  Or for the effort it takes to get there?  If he's old enough to be in cub scouts, then he's old enough to have some basic understanding of these concepts - but young enough to still be moldable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him what he enjoys.  Does he enjoy designing a car and painting it nicely?  Does he enjoy learning woodworking?  Does he enjoy racing the car and doing the engineering side of things (making it aerodynamic)?  Or does he do it solely for the social aspect - his friends like doing it, so he wants to participate, but if it were up to him (and nobody else cared) he wouldn't do it at all?  Each of those are different goals, and suggest a different level of involvement on your part as well as a different level of effort on his part.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's just doing it so that he doesn't look like a non-participater, then he shouldn't worry too much about how it compares - make something that's good enough and be happy for your friends who enjoy it more.  If he does enjoy one aspect of creation, then give him the tools and understanding of how to improve that aspect.  In particular, assuming he's a Wolf or Bear, he'll still have a few years to grow and develop better cars - so tell him that he should track his progress over years, and each year learn from the previous years and improve the car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, as a parent, we're supposed to encourage effort, not achievement, except insomuch as the one leads to the other.  Encouraging effort encourages our children to try difficult tasks; encouraging achievement (alone) encourages them to try easy tasks.  Focusing on why he's doing this helps you focus on encouraging those aspects of effort that he's interested in; at the end of the day, the actual race isn't really all that important.  Who wins or loses, what other people do, isn't what it's about; it's about making the car.  If this was something he truly aspired to, then he should make the effort to learn it; and if he has a disadvantage in that (from parental involvement), well, that's how life will be - unless you're Bill Gates or similar, he's going to have a disadvantage in every aspect of life to others with more well off families.  Learning to do the best with what you have, and then learning to be happy with that and not envious of others who have it easier/better, is a pretty important life lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-20T22:23:48.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11872" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-20T23:04:44.097" Score="8" ViewCount="14443" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two kids (almost 5yo and 20 months). Both are very picky eaters, eating &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; carbs(noodles, pasta, or bread, all plain; no potatoes/rice!), and fruit of all kinds, but nothing or very little else. We as parents enjoy a varied diet (including fish, veg, meat, all home cooked) and we give whatever we are eating to the kids at dinner time. If the dish is spicy, we will prepare an plain version for them, but otherwise we would like them to eat what we eat (within reason).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless the meal has some of the preferred carbs (noodles, pasta, or bread), the kids will eat very little, even a forkful. So for example, lasagna or stir-fry is out, as the pasta or noodle are 'tainted' with sauces. We usually end up feeding them 'properly' with fruit for dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So while we would like them to have a varied diet,the never ending struggle at mealtimes to get them to eat what's put in front of them is starting(understatement!) to wear on the already overworked parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After several years of trying to do the right thing (the 5yo has seen green beans on his plate at least 100 times), we are about to give in. What is the worst that will happen if they ate pasta/noodles and fruit everyday?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it relevant; the kids eat porridge for breakfast, with a little honey OR dried dates. The 5yo will always have a second bowl (wheatabix or cornflakes), I assume because he hasn't had a proper dinner the night before. We've tried not serving the 2nd bowl of cereal, but it hasn't led to better dinnertime habits and has led to tears all around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also relevant is that we have tried all kinds of persuasion (with the older one); bribes, cajoling, timeouts, shouting, pleading, so if you can come to  my house and get him to eat a bite of lasagne within 15 minutes I'll give you $100, except you are not allowed to use new toys as a lever!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also possibly relevant; both will eat somewhat more readily at their grandmothers house(food we have prepared at home!!!) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="744" LastEditorUserId="744" LastEditDate="2014-03-20T23:17:57.300" LastActivityDate="2018-06-13T12:41:43.990" Title="Is it OK for my children to eat solely carbs and fruit, which is what they want" Tags="|food|diet|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11872" CreationDate="2014-03-20T23:40:00.703" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, their diet is not reasonable.&#xA;They are building bodies so need a significant amount of protein, calcium, iron, and vitamins (that's before you even look at trace minerals, omega group of fatty oils and such). Even though our children eat almost everything (and lots of it), a blood test showed our son was short on iron and vitamin D.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is critical for brain and body growth to have a balanced diet. It is critical that a 5yo learns to eat a variety of food as they are about to (or just have) start school and you lose control over halt their food intake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Poor diet will also have other side effects such as behavioural and learning deficits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short term actions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;target the 5yo, the toddler is probably following his lead, plus they have their own dietary restrictions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;start the 5yo on vitamins (I'm not sure about the toddler). You may want to consider getting a blood test done before this to establish a baseline, but it is not pleasant for a child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;feed them the healthy food that they like (sounds like they might go for steak and&#xA;3    veg for dinner). If the 5yo is hungry in the morning, try eggs on toast for breakfast - there's lots of protein in that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;change to fortified, high-fibre breads so they get as much as possible out of that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look at the food you are preparing. Perhaps you really need to be more child oriented. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other issue (how to get them to eat) is probably best dealt with in a separate question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2014-03-24T22:17:22.350" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T22:17:22.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10610" CreationDate="2014-03-21T00:22:39.813" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seek help in older relatives of child. Maybe a private lessons?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise you have to learn that language, team up with other parents and try to teach by yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To complete my answer that's what my parents did. They invested what they could (time, money in books, computer software, private lessons, introducing me to natives) in me to later make me responsible for teaching brother and sister; I was (am) in charge of translating and resarching things in second language for family now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you just want to make your child pass a class team up with other parents with homework and shared lessons - that's usually enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another aspect is that children learn things fast. But if not stimulated by need to actually use their new skills they will quickly forget it in favor of other, more needed matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7093" LastEditorUserId="7093" LastEditDate="2014-03-21T17:56:15.420" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T17:56:15.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11848" CreationDate="2014-03-21T05:39:24.777" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just plop the t-shirt over their head and let them have fun finding the arm-holes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For pants and shoes, I just lift one of their feet, causing them to instinctively reach for the nearest hand-hold to keep their balance--usually my ear or hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7094" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T05:39:24.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11868" CreationDate="2014-03-21T10:02:57.397" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is in pain and is expressing that pain the best she can, but usually that's not enough.  Sexual assault has psychological repercussions that can last much, much longer than the physical repercussions.  Help her contact &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rainn.org&quot;&gt;RAINN&lt;/a&gt; or her local rape crisis center, a psychotherapist who specializes in trauma issues, or both.  And do it FAST.  Do not delay on this.  Her mental health depends on swift, thorough action. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a more personal note, do whatever you can to support her.  Offer an ear, a hug, or just leave her alone if that's what she needs.  Just make sure you let her know you love her, and will support her through her healing as much as she requires.  And then follow through.  Don't let her down, and help her to not let herself down.  She can recover from this (many of us have).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T10:02:57.397" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2014-03-21T10:08:35.560" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a procedure we apply (works also for activities other than sex):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure toddler is asleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Turn on your wireless baby monitor&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do whatever you need in any room (except bedroom), break and check when you hear some noise from monitor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7096" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T10:08:35.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11866" CreationDate="2014-03-21T10:09:33.537" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use the world as your classroom.  Model the behaviour you want your children to emulate.  When you see someone who needs help, and the kids are with you, help the person and then explain to your kids what you saw and why you decided to help.  When you see a situation where intervening might be more negative than not stepping in, explain that to your kids.   Engage your children in discussions about these situations. &quot;How do you think this person felt, when someone pushed them down?  How do you think the person who pushed them felt?  What would you have wanted someone else to do for you, in either position?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if they're not with you, when you are sharing your day with your kids at the end of the day, add these stories and lessons to the mix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, catch them in the act of doing things you want them to do.  Your child stood up for a bullied friend?  Praise them to the ROOF.  Don't be afraid to bring it up later, either. &quot;Remember when Brian called James a name, and you stood up for James to Brian? You showed both friends that you love them. You showed James you have his back, and Brian that you love him so much you won't tolerate him putting down others.&quot;  (That's an example (names changed) from my own daughter's preschool class.  We still talk about it every once in a while, while discussing other situations.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T10:09:33.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11872" CreationDate="2014-03-21T10:31:32.550" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't improve on Dave's answer but I can add some advice about picky eaters.  Our 5-yr-old is so picky she was bordering on malnutrition.  After a visit to the doc to get her checked, he recommended protein and nutritional drinks to supplement her diet. (We use a protein powder that's essentially a meal replacement; took trying a LOT of different ones to find one she liked).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, see if you can get the 5-yr-old engaged in some discussions about trying new foods or eating what you provide.  There might be something underlying there that you won't get to without a good deal of digging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;(Anecdata follows.) I talked with the 5-yr-old about food a LOT while trying to find out what was going on with her (why do you not want to try this? does it look funny? taste weird? sound weird?) and finally she fessed up that she was afraid a new food would make her vomit (thank you SO much, random string bean two years ago).  I took her to a hypnotherapist who helped me get past MY emetophobia when I was pregnant with her (can't really be running from a barfing child when you're the parent).  She's not all the way there, but she IS getting better about trying new foods.  It's definitely a work in process.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T10:31:32.550" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11872" CreationDate="2014-03-21T11:06:10.877" Score="5" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Give them a nudge&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is a picky eater, it's your job as a parent to give them a little bit of a nudge. They will be less healthy and it won't serve them in later life. My middle child who is a picky eater has noticeably less stamina than the other two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Find out what motivates them&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to find out what motivates your child. You can use this to encourage him / her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my my middle child wants to be a super hero, so if the spoon is a crashing aircraft with people on board, he will, reluctantly 'save' them by letting them land in his 'emergency airport' (this really works).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest is motivated by money, so a pound will encourage him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Things that work&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things that worked for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set limits on your expectations and stand by them. Don't push two hard - two spoonfuls is enough. Encourage trust. If you say two spoonfuls, stick to it and don't push for a third.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find out what motivates your child. e.g destroying the aliens, saving Mummy, rescuing the people, etc. Use that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch for different foods touching each other on the plate. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch for bits. Bits are a big no-no. If I can assure my child there are no bits he'll often have a go.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taking a zooming run up to the spoon from the other side of the room. Unorthodox, but it worked!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck with it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2014-03-21T19:29:35.663" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T19:29:35.663" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11869" CreationDate="2014-03-21T12:06:56.173" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on your edit, it sounds to me like he's just not hungry at 1800.  Having a large snack at 1600 might be too close to dinner to be hungry.  Try either moving the 1600 snack up to 1500, or the 1800 dinner to 1900.  My almost-three year old occasionally eats poorly at dinner but is hungry an hour or so later, and will eat his dinner then (we have a rule, he may not eat anything &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; than his dinner if he didn't eat well, but if he didn't eat well we save the dinner in the fridge for the night.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also add that it seems like he's eating enough, so perhaps he just never will want much dinner. Some people have schedules like that - their bigger meal is lunch, not dinner.  That's not terrible, and as long as the nutrition is balanced across ALL meals, they grow perfectly fine.  That's been a challenge for me to remember; my children are both very tall for their ages (especially considering my wife and I are not tall) and of appropriate weight for their height, but sometimes just don't want dinner.  I struggle with remembering not to give them too much trouble for that, since clearly they're eating enough on balance, and all I'll do by urging them to eat when they're not hungry is cause them to have weight troubles later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T12:06:56.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11868" CreationDate="2014-03-21T12:07:54.963" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Significant Other was raped at the age of 14 and did years of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;self-mutilation&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't until we became sexual active that I found out and she admitted the rape. Then we told her parents and found a good Psychiatrist. I would suggest finding her a Psychiatrist right away (if you did not find already), and make the subject talkable at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I read this, you said it happened 7 months ago, so I take it the already has a psychiatrist, RIGHT!?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7059" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2014-07-17T07:37:55.370" LastActivityDate="2014-07-17T07:37:55.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11872" CreationDate="2014-03-21T12:18:21.520" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely not.  Dave covered that well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you deal with it?  Well, for one, stop giving them fruit for dessert.  They're both old enough to understand hunger.  If they don't eat their dinner, no additional food is available; dinner is in the fridge and can be brought out an hour later.  Otherwise, sorry.  Going to bed hungry one or two nights won't hurt them in the long run; eating fruit for dinner will.  They'll learn to eat dinner once that stops, although it may take some time to really sink in - they will want to test your limits first and see if they can force you to give them the fruit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, consider moving the meal schedule around some.  They may not be very hungry at dinner if it is too close to a snack or just wrong for their internal clock.  Eat an hour later.  Eat an hour earlier and skip the snack.  Whatever you're able to do (within reason based on YOUR schedule of course) to see what works.  Stick to what changes you do make for at least a week to give it a chance to set in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, particularly for the five year old, give them some control.  Don't let them pick &quot;Carb Dinner Night&quot; all the time, but bring them in on the meal planning.  Get some cookbooks with pictures, and give them a selection of 10 things, say, to pick from; let the 5 year old pick 2 dinners and the almost-2 year old 1 dinner per week or something like that.  Once they've done this several times, they'll have a list of things they will want to pick from that they know from memory; make the ground rules that they have to be meat/veggie/whatever containing, but otherwise can pick anything that's reasonable.  Giving them some control over their meals means two things - not only do they feel in control, which is a big issue for a young child (or an adult!) but they can also show you what they like to eat, helping you to adapt your cooking habits over time towards what kinds of food they enjoy that are still nutritious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T12:18:21.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11870" CreationDate="2014-03-21T12:57:02.050" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's important to tell the boys who made their own.  I remember feeling the same way my first pinewood derby, and my own parents and one or two leaders took me aside and explained the situation.  Mostly what I couldn't understand is if everyone knew about it, why was it allowed to continue without those cars being disqualified?  Be prepared to answer that question.  Some other parents, apparently feeling bad for me as my dad seemingly abandoned me to my own devices, took me aside and gave me tips which I used to improve cars in subsequent years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The result was in subsequent derbies I considered boy-made cars and dad-made cars to be two completely distinct categories, which helped me feel vindicated.  I don't know why packs don't just own up to this and let dads enter their own cars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took the challenge and learned and improved with each one, until I won my final derby.  Actually, I'm not 100% sure I did win, because I might have considered dad-made cars not to count, but I at least placed highly and beat most of the dad-made cars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What surprised me was even on years I lost, some of my friends who beat me but whose dads made their cars expressed jealousy at me being able to make my own.  Perhaps that unpleasant memory for them is why the tradition is allowed to continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who I really feel bad for is the truly-talented boys, who do a great job carving, but you can never be 100% sure their dads didn't help too much.  I had a friend who I was pretty sure fit into this category, but the corruption forever tainted his achievement in the eyes of other competitors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was really my first exposure to the idea that the system is sometimes stacked against the ethical, that you should do the right thing, even if it takes a while longer to get ahead.  That's an important lesson to learn, albeit uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T12:57:02.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11872" CreationDate="2014-03-21T14:04:44.540" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children accept or reject foods based on different reasons than adults do. Often the exact same food (to you) will be accepted if you change some trivial aspect of it. Some tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;texture really matters. Many kids reject meat for texture reasons. There's a reason why burgers are such a popular kid food. Burgers, meatballs, meatloaf, sausages, any time the meat is ground up and easier to chew (and presented in smaller pieces) you'll get better acceptance. When we served large sausages the kids got theirs in &quot;circles or sticks?&quot; to make eating them easier and to give them some choices.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sliminess rejection is a safety reflex (anaerobic decomposition makes things slimy) that can give some greens, soft eggs, and fish the thumbs down even though we know these things are fine. Try offering the beans and spinach raw, the eggs hardcooked, and the fish overcooked to get past that reflex.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;toddlers and preschoolers seem to come in two camps: &quot;none of my food can touch and I hate sauces&quot; or &quot;just let me stir it all together into homogenous mush.&quot; For years (well into school age) we  served spaghetti by putting noodles on the plate and pausing with the sauce saying &quot;next to or on?&quot; Visiting children responded very positively to this and apparently we were the only parents who gave a choice. The &quot;next to&quot; camp often eat the sauce (or some components of it, such as all the mushrooms) if it isn't all tangled up in their noodles. Try to bring components to the table and put it together on each serving rather than in advance like lasagna. And don't rebuke the child who stirs your beautifully layered shepherds pie into meat-speckled potato paste.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;learn some tricks from vegetarians. Can you grate cheese onto their pasta? That's a complete protein if there's enough cheese. Can you put butter on the pasta and they'll eat raw green beans? Complete protein and fat right there. Will they eat a bowl of cooked green peas and corn (both available frozen)? Complete protein again. Will they eat a peanut butter sandwich at lunch? If so you don't need to worry so much about dinner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;please don't be those parents who put grated carrots into the meatloaf or zucchini into the cake - this just trains children that vegetables are horrible and not something we eat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a five year old is quite capable of understanding they need to eat protein, and learning what foods contain it, so that when they ask for a snack you can say &quot;what would you like that has protein?&quot; This might include some of those protein drinks if you like, but cheese, egg, slice of ham, peanut butter, handful of cashews etc are all pretty kid friendly for random eating during the day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, stop cajoling, pleading, begging and generally making it into a thing. I have some experience with more extreme versions of this watching close relatives deal with an extremely picky eater (she was 5 before she ate so much as a mouthful of any food prepared at my house - they brought their own for her - and a teen before she ate pizza or pasta at all, even one bite) and you can miss out on a lot of nice family time because you're trying to make someone eat a bean. Once you know they are getting what they need each day, try to let them decide how much they eat (including none) of what is on offer, and get them to take their own power. If they only have power from not eating, not eating is what you'll get. If they have power when they eat, that opens the door to eating freely, subject of course to how hungry they are and whether or not they like what you're offering. (Hence the tips to increase the chances they'll like what you're offering.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-03-22T14:47:40.387" LastActivityDate="2014-03-22T14:47:40.387" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11868" CreationDate="2014-03-21T14:33:04.890" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a peer crisis counselor in high school.  I would suggest talking to a crisis counselor or psychologist and getting feedback from them on how to help.  She should see a counselor herself because of the cutting, but you will want to be careful in how you approach it to make sure it is clear you are supportive and not judging the behavior.  (This is where a crisis counselor will be able to help you.)  The amount of emotional pain associated with a rape is easy to under-estimate by most people and the way it shows can vary greatly from one individual to another.  Key points that are generally helpful is reinforcing a) that the event doesn't change how you view her, b) that she isn't alone in it (that many others have been through similar experiences), c) depending on how has taken it, that it isn't her fault, d) ask about how she is feeling, listen to the answers and as far as you can, ask questions rather than offering advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of pain to let out and the best thing you can do is help provide support and an outlet for that pain.  If you can work her towards speaking with a counselor without making her feel like you aren't accepting her, that would be good as well as cutting is a step towards escalating things.  If she just started, then it likely isn't an immediate concern, but self-destructive behavior does has the potential to escalate if not addressed.  (I'd add, that it is a warning sign towards the potential for early suicidal thoughts, though it isn't linked in all cases, but that's why it is good to get her talking openly with someone, whether a trusted friend, you, or a therapist.  Take everything she says at face value rather than thinking she is being melodramatic.  She may be, but even melodrama has a basis in what someone is actually feeling.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6411" LastEditorUserId="6411" LastEditDate="2014-03-21T14:42:41.643" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T14:42:41.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11888" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-21T15:20:09.703" Score="14" ViewCount="1043" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know how silly it sounds, but it makes me feel better: I'm asking for a friend.  (We've decided we don't need one, as our nanny appears to be far more capable than we - it might make more sense for her to film us.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not interested in legal concerns - we know our friend has the right to record video in his home without disclosure (at least in areas without an expectation of privacy for a visitor, like bathrooms, obviously).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like videotaping someone trusted to care for your kids is reasonable in some circumstances - you want to be in a position with enough trust that you don't need to (and we are lucky to be), but realistically, can everyone expect to get enough in an interview and from references to be sure of what happens when they're away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is this:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do you deal with the notion of creating a video, essentially to test trustworthiness, without risking violating reasonable expectations of trust/privacy yourself?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like taping a room without disclosing it means that you might capture things that really shouldn't be exposed. Someone changing clothes, after your kid pukes on them, a private phone call during a nap, etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are best practices here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: I'm well aware that we have a philosophy site, but this particular question would seem to have much more personal experience in a parenting community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-04T13:11:22.333" LastActivityDate="2019-03-07T21:08:31.827" Title="What is a healthy, ethical way to deal with a nanny cam?" Tags="|babysitting|privacy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2014-03-21T17:28:09.970" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why do you want her to wear skirts of a certain length? That's very important for you to examine in this. You need to explain it to her (probably yet again) and then ask her what she thinks of your reasons and discuss why she feel they're not valid. She's 15, not 5 and should be able to articulate her thoughts or at least should start practicing doing so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she explains her opinion, push her beyond the surface. Talk about other ways she can win the approval of her peers and how she can positively deflect attention to her longer-than-average hemline, so it'll be harder for her to resist to protect herself against peer criticism (that's what she's doing, don't demonize her for it, you wouldn't want to work in a place where your coworkers picked on you all day). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't condemn her peers. They're not all jumping off a bridge for no reason. That doesn't mean that they're making good choices, just they have reasons for making bad decisions. If your reasons are very good and sound, surely some of her friends are suffering consequences your rules were devised to spare her (have any of them gotten in trouble for violating the dress code? are they cat-called by creepers? etc? I'm not much help with this as I'm not sure why miniskirts are such a big deal). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Steer the conversation so your daughter is the one to talk about her friends' negative experiences and coax her to elaborate about how much they suck. Teens embrace things that are their own ideas. They crave ways to test our their judgement. Make it so that she wants to judge longer skirts as better for her by guiding her about how well they fit with things she values (focus on her values, not yours - although you'll probably find they have a lot in common).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind most people I know went through an unfortunate fashion phase as a teenager (I wore all black until I realized I looked horrible in it, then I went back to dressing normally), and came out just fine for it. A certain amount of experimentation is healthy, as this is the phase of their life where society is very forgiving. When she gets to college, if she leaves your house (which she will have the legal ability to do), you can't monitor what she wears and she may act-out to compensate for what she felt was oppressive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is important is to at least act like you take her side seriously and are taking into consideration her side. Try to revert it from being a &quot;us versus you&quot; thing to being a &quot;we all agree this is best&quot; thing. Yes it takes more time and is kind of annoying, but nobody likes to listen to someone who is a brick wall. You wouldn't like it if a boss made you do a particular task a certain way if you saw a better way and wouldn't even hear you out. She may feel like she is in that position and it's silly as you all have the same goal: that she should become a healthy independent adult in a few years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news for you is that parents who fight with their parents over issues like this tend to be better at standing up to peer pressure. They have a strong sense of what they think is right and wrong. You don't get to dictate it anymore, but the good news is that it's unlikely their peers have 100% say in it either, she is likely more her own person than some of her peers. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201201/arguing-mom-may-help-teens-resist-peer-pressure&quot;&gt;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201201/arguing-mom-may-help-teens-resist-peer-pressure&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7102" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T17:28:09.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11863" CreationDate="2014-03-21T17:47:15.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You gotta talk to him. You won't be able to just outright block it - he'll find a way around it. The dangers of pornography on the teenage mind(and any mind for that matter) are well-documented. Pornography addiction is going to be a big issue for kids growing up now with the internet. Like you said, your son &lt;em&gt;isn't&lt;/em&gt; addicted, but being aware of how addictive it is may help him in making a good decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's gotta be able to make his own decisions about it - you can't just control him forever - so the best you can do is guide him to make smart decisions. Checkout &lt;a href=&quot;http://yourbrainonporn.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;yourbrainonporn.com&lt;/a&gt; to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4751" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T17:47:15.567" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11888" CreationDate="2014-03-21T19:18:39.913" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think, legal issues aside, that you should tell the nanny.  Not because of privacy issues, but because it is more effective as a deterrent of undesired activities if it's in the open than if it's secret.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't necessarily have to state it upfront as 'We want to watch you', however; you can put it as &quot;We want to be able to see our kids from time to time and see what they are up to&quot;.  That's reasonable - a lot of daycares have 'cribcams' for their cribs so parents can watch their infants sleep, after all - and still has some deterrent effect.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also depends somewhat on the nanny herself/himself.  If you have a nanny who is very young, this is not only a good idea but unlikely to be too big of a deal, as long as she/he has some idea that such a thing is possible and not that uncommon.  However, if you have a very experienced nanny, it may strike her/him as insulting or demeaning - particularly in cases like your own example, where the nanny is clearly more experienced than the parent.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also should consider the reason you want this.  Is this to make sure the nanny is engaging your children and getting along?  Is it to make sure she's not harming them physically?  Are you worried about her having excessive phone/TV/whatever time?  Some of these are reasonably controllable; some are not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a camera in the living room, say, where the kids spend most of their time, you can see them playing and doing learning activities/etc.  You might see how much TV they're watching if that's in view.  You can't, however, reasonably expect to be able to prevent intentional child abuse; that's too easy to take off camera, whether it's known or not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would expect it to be helpful in some ways, primarily to watch to see how the kids get along with the nanny, and less helpful in truly supervisory aspects as those will be easier to avoid oversight.  Realistically you can find out most of this through other means - spending the occasional day working from home or taking off to relax but being around the nanny and the kids, talking to your kids, etc.  A friend of mine who is a nanny regularly posts on facebook (at the parent's request and permission) what they're doing and pictures so they can follow along and know their daughter is getting the most out of her day.  These sorts of things will be more helpful, in the long term, than a camera; but of course if it is necessary to comfort the parent, that's up to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-21T19:18:39.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11888" CreationDate="2014-03-22T06:23:14.910" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would inform said nanny first. Like Joe said, it would act as a deterrent. Deterring or attempting to prevent a bad action by the nanny is much better than having to clean up any mess she might make with the children or the house, be it emotional distress on the children's part or an actual filthy mess in the house. While people desire everyone to have integrity, most people will always do right when they &lt;strong&gt;know&lt;/strong&gt; they are being watched.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If perhaps they are uncomfortable with informing the nanny, they could reverse the reasoning for the recording. Tell the nanny that the camera is there to ensure the children are being on their best behavior. Tell the nanny that it is in her best interest so if the children do get out of control, your friends can correct the issue so the nanny would no longer have discipline problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-03-22T06:23:14.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11863" CreationDate="2014-03-24T01:17:53.667" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to talk to him, not just once, about the importance of respecting his own intimacy and other´s.&#xA;Also, take some practical actions like not allowing computers or TVs in the bedrooms. Computers at home should be in places where everybody can watch over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7113" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T01:17:53.667" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11811" CreationDate="2014-03-24T01:25:01.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Social networks are just another way to relate to others. Educating children into relationships is part of parent´s duties. You should use FB to experience its full capabilities and risks. Mainly you should educate your children to show respect to others, be it in a social network or any other social relation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7113" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T01:25:01.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11902" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11906" CreationDate="2014-03-24T07:44:48.450" Score="2" ViewCount="154" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question is similar to this &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/825/how-do-i-cope-with-my-toddlers-jealousy-towards-her-newborn-brother-and-sister&quot;&gt;question&lt;/a&gt; but not exactly the same. We are having our second child very soon. We have a 2 year old daughter and she is already beginning to understand that change is coming. I have read/heard nightmare stories about the jealousy of the first child against newborns. While we still have a chance, how can we potentially prevent or at least decrease any high levels of jealousy and resentment towards the new child by my daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T14:13:22.593" Title="Preventing jealousy from starting?" Tags="|toddler|newborn|jealousy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11904" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-24T14:09:12.777" Score="4" ViewCount="13215" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11-month-old son has been sleeping in his crib since he was two months old. He is a happy baby during the day. He has a great appetite and I breastfeed about 4 times a day and when he wakes in the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently he has been waking in the night. I breastfeed and burp him, then put him back down like normal. Now he starts to scream and cry. I go in every half hour, pick him up, calm him and put him back, but he continues to cry. It lasts for hours. At this point, I just don't know what to do. I have a three-year-old trying to sleep in the next room. We are all sleep deprived. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I put him down to bed/naps awake and he knows how to self-soothe. I don't understand why he cannot fall back to sleep in the middle of the night. He is not hungry as I feed him plenty of breastmilk at night, I burp him, make sure his diaper is not soiled. I am out of ideas as to why he is crying so much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7117" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-10T14:56:33.533" LastActivityDate="2018-05-10T14:56:33.533" Title="How to help my 11-month-old fall asleep again after waking?" Tags="|infant|sleep|crying|night-time|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11863" CreationDate="2014-03-24T14:11:34.457" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is only year old these days, but I can't deny I think about &quot;those discussions&quot; I'll have to make with him at some point, in the years to come. So here is what I would probably do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First of all, in the beginning of his puberty I will have &quot;that discussion&quot; with him, explaining about many things and probably mention porn as well. I don't think that telling something like &quot;never watch porn&quot; is going to work so rather advice him to stay discreet about it and not let it reflect on real life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If I will catch him watching porn, I will just repeat what  I said before. Again, I don't think I will yell at him or punish. Of course that it also depends on the type of porn (there are things that will &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; be tolerated) but generally speaking, I must face that it's part of becoming adult.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing, if we ban something and press the child into a corner, he might retaliate in unexpected ways and in the end of the day, banning porn might only lead to him watching more. So better have it under some sort of control. Plus, we all do it, or at least did it at young age so totally forbidding it would be hypocrite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T14:11:34.457" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11902" CreationDate="2014-03-24T14:13:22.593" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Spend one-on-one time with your daughter, as much as you can.  Important now, while the sibling is still on his/her way, but critical once he/she gets here.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, find ways to include her in the day-to-day care of her new sibling.  Can she fetch wipes/diapers/bibs?  Would she want to help feed, when bottles are appropriate?  Maybe she can  do some coloring for the baby?  My daughter, who was a little less than three when her brother arrived, loved drawing pictures to put into his crib in NICU, and when he was home, we posted them on his walls. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T14:13:22.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11863" CreationDate="2014-03-24T20:41:28.593" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Shadow Wizard that talking is important. I think it is also important to let your boy know that porn, even in its more harmless variants, is not what making love looks like (and explain how it differs). Even I as a female accept that watching at porn is something what some people do, and (in my opinion) it's not necessarily bad, as long as certain boundaries aren't crossed (ie no violence, etc.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a young man watching porn, I would assume that he might be trying to learn more about sex and personal relations. This may be related to learning how to navigate the minefield of dating and all that follows, or it might be related to learning how to handle the roller coaster of hormones he is probably subject to. Either way, I think he deserves understanding and guidance, not prohibition (or worse, punishment).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T20:41:28.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11835" CreationDate="2014-03-24T20:54:47.020" Score="1" Body="&lt;h2&gt;How can we help children learn to handle free access to media?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing to realize is that this is not a new problem. The ubiquity of the Internet, its breadth of information, and its connectivity to such a vast userbase is new, but the base problem is not new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the earliest media of communication is storytelling. Still today we find ourselves questioning the best way to handle our child's access to stories:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/10493/the-school-has-assigned-reading-i-feel-is-inappropriate-for-my-son-to-read-how&quot;&gt;The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The invention of writing brought information out of the oral realm into something that could be preserved across time and space without having to be transmitted directly from the source of the information. As more people gained access to writing, our ancestors had to ask themselves&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we help children learn to handle access to reading and writing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today there are various approaches to this problem. We naturally teach our children to take care in what, how, and to whom they write. We concern ourselves with what our children read and have open discussions with them about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The invention of printing didn't really change any of this. All it did was increase the access to information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Television did seem to bring a new set of problems: it presented information in audio/visual form, it broadcast it over large distances, and it didn't immediately open up access for everyone to broadcast. The latter two are really nothing new. Access to information increased again, and like most new things the more powerful had greater control initially. Today we are still dealing with the repercussions of the audio/visual format:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3/at-what-age-should-a-child-be-introduced-to-the-television&quot;&gt;At what age should a child be introduced to the Television?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;How is the Internet different?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Internet is everywhere and it is for everybody, but how is it &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; different? It is &lt;strong&gt;instantaneous&lt;/strong&gt;. Once given access to an unrestricted device connected to the Internet, our children can immediately gain access to whatever they want &lt;em&gt;and more&lt;/em&gt;. Even &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; you restricted your home devices, Internet-connected devices are practically ubiquitous today. It is not difficult for your child to visit the neighbors and be on the Internet before you even know they've left the house (depending on their age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;What's the point?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think the instantaneous nature of the Internet changes much except that it makes it all the more important that we establish open communication with our kids. If we form the habit of sharing what &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; (parents and children) experience early on, then we will be prepared (with an understanding of our child's experience) to handle their issues and they will be prepared to share their issues when they occur because they will know we're ready to listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Case 1: Gory Flash Game&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Open Communication Outcome 1&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child: I want to play some flash games.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Parent: All right, what were you thinking of playing?&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Child: Oh, I was going to try out this fighting game on Freshdirt.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Parent: I think that game's pretty gory.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Child: Hm, I didn't know that. Maybe I'll try something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Alternate ending:&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;Child: I saw that it might be a little gory, but I think it's just comic violence.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Parent: Well, if you're sure it won't bother you, why don't we check it out together and see why it's so gory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If the game covers mature themes like &amp;quot;Kill Your Boss&amp;quot;, it might be a good time for a discussion about how that kind of thinking isn't healthy.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Open Communication Outcome 2&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child: I just clicked on a flash game, and it was pretty scary.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Parent: Well, what happened?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Parent and Child can discuss what was disturbing. Parent will probably look at the game too to know more specifically what occurred.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Open Communication Outcome 3&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parent: What did you do for fun today?&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Child: I played some Internet games.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Parent: Did you find anything interesting?&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Child: Well, I did play this one game. It was kind of gory though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Further discussion, as above.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Notes&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on age, this much freedom does not have to be given. As this may be particularly relevant to the title question, see &amp;quot;Easing in access&amp;quot; section.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Case 2: Pornography&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parent: I've noticed you've been spending a lot of time in your room on the computer lately.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Child: Well, I'm just surfing the web.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Parent: With your door closed?&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Child: To be honest, I'm exploring a little bit of those things we talked about.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Parent: There's a lot of scams and malware out there, and sometimes you may stumble into more than you bargained for. Can I give you some advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Parent explains to their satisfaction what the best practices regarding Internet porn are.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Case 3: Talking with Strangers&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child: I met somebody cool on the Internet.&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Parent: What do you talk about?&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;...&#xA;Parent: Don't forget to be careful with how much information you give out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Alternate ending:&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;Child: They want to meet me.&#xA;Parent: Well, I think we need to get to know them a little better first, and we should probably meet them together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Easing in access&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your child gets older, there will naturally be less direct supervision of their online activity, but how exactly should this happen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regards to mature content like violence, sex, and drugs, it is probably a good idea to have a safe list of sites to visit with your children. As they get older, you give them more freedom to visit the safe list with less direct supervision. For things not on the safe list, you may view them with them the first time or preview them in advance. By making the safe list a social device that you both refer to rather than a technical restriction, this shows that you trust them to make decisions about their own safety as they learn from you how to manage it. You may start out using the Internet with them at all times at a young age, then when they are older they may use it solo in the same room as you. Eventually, they graduate to using it on their own terms but with time restrictions, and then finally they start to learn how to make their own time management decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regards to communication with strangers, you should be clear with your children early on about what kind of information is dangerous to share with people--and who you can share what with. When they start talking with people online, you should probably be with them at first. As they get older, you may ask to be introduced to their online friends but not have to be present for the whole conversation. If they ever want to meet someone in person, you should be clear that you want to go with them--at least at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is this my opinion?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, but I tried to make it as grounded in the prevailing views of experts as I could, as far as I see it, and also open to many different applications. I am open to criticism and may choose to adopt views of others into my post as I see fit. Leave a comment if something sticks out to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think by the age of 15 (at the latest) you should have your child ready for unlimited access to the Internet alone whether you like it or not, because they most likely will find their ways to get it no matter what the consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer assumes a knowledgeable parent--that is, a parent who knows about the Internet themselves and its risks and how to protect yourself. I don't think that is a problem with my post. A parent should become knowledgeable about anything before they set themselves as the point of contact for that issue with their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4481" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-03-24T21:08:05.137" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11909" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-24T23:29:14.340" Score="4" ViewCount="2033" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will be going on a road trip with my almost 3-year-old. He was born prematurely so he is not necessarily at the same level of other 3-year-old children yet. How can I keep him settled down and get him to cooperate on the trip from Indiana to Florida?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7120" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-25T03:38:46.817" LastActivityDate="2023-03-25T11:13:52.103" Title="Road trip with a 3-year-old" Tags="|toddler|travel|games|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11909" CreationDate="2014-03-25T00:47:27.403" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Suggestions based on my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Drive at night.  We did several similar length trips (Chicago-DC, Chicago-west of Denver) with a 2.5 year old, and the best luck we had was driving overnight.  Leave at 3pm, arrive at 9am, or whatever, kids sleep 80% of the trip.  They're happy, you're tired but hopefully have someone to help at the destination.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he's imaginative, then a couple of trains or cars or whatnot may be enough for a good portion of the trip.  Mine was fine for a large portion of the awake part that way, and the one leg that he didn't cooperate in sleeping he was pretty good for most of it with it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;iPad or similar (tablet/ipod/video player).  Mine has figured out how to do basic things with it, and is amused by all sorts of games - even ones he doesn't truly understand.  Fisher Price and other kids manufacturers have free games, and lots of apps that are just basically picture books (things like 'Airplanes' or 'Trains' with just pictures of airplanes or trains) are really interesting and easy enough to use even at that age.  Audio books are also good on iPad/ipod/etc., especially if they're the familiar books.  Audible.com and other outlets have good selections of childrens' audio books.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Books, especially interactive ones (the big ones with buttons on the side for sounds, ones that read to you as you open them, etc.)   As long as it is light, they can read them easily, and if they're books you've memorized, you can probably &quot;read&quot; them to them as well.  Goodnight Moon for example I can read from memory, so I would just listen for page turns and hope I was in sync.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;ABC keyboards also work pretty well in cars- the kind that have a button for each letter and a switch that have them do different things, like play songs or say the letters or whatnot.  That even works for much younger.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-25T00:47:27.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11904" CreationDate="2014-03-25T00:56:47.760" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of possibilities, but a few to check.  Definitely talk to your pediatrician as soon as you can, both because it's possible there could be an underlying medical issue, and your doctor will know your child better than random strangers on the internet and have good advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Acid reflux.  Is it worst when he's lying down?  Try &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; feeding him one night before bed (feed him an hour before).  Acid reflux is worsened by eating and then lying down shortly thereafter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Night terrors.  Not a lot you can do about those; cosleeping can help in the short term (and he's old enough for that not to be much of a risk) but that's only a short term fix.  Those go away eventually (hopefully).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teething.  This would probably be all day thing, though, but it's possible he has some teething symptoms that happen to be worse at night.  Does acetaminophen or ibuprofen (Tylenol or Advil) help?  This is not a good long term solution, both because it's not good to take these for a long time, but it could help if it's a short term teething thing.  Definitely see your doctor if you go this route.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mental changes leading to fear of abandonment.  This happens periodically for some children; they go through a 'wonder week' or whatnot and suddenly are no longer comfortable in situations they used to be.  My oldest does this every few months (almost 3 now); goes through a week or so where he's waking up and walking into our room every night because he's scared that he doesn't know where Daddy is.  We just muscle through it and a week later he's fine again- just needed to know we were there when he needed us.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-25T00:56:47.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11909" CreationDate="2014-03-25T13:27:21.640" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like Joe's answer, but will contribute a few more, also based on extended empirical studies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Stuff to Bring&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lots of Paper and Crayons&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Buy a few coloring books, connect-the-dots templates, mazes, etc and a lot of spare paper and crayons. If that's one thing to remember, remember that one. May vary from kid to kid though. Also, read this thread with lots of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3373/free-printable-materials-for-children&quot;&gt;links for free printable materials&lt;/a&gt; to prepare beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;His Own Travel Kit&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A specific &quot;travel kit&quot; / &quot;travel bag&quot; where your kid decides what to take. Gets him involved and all happy to have his own &quot;suitcase&quot;, to decide what to take, and to decide when to play with what.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Favorite Stuffed Pet, Blankie, Pacifier/Dummy, etc...&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never, ever forget one of these, obviously.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Kiddy Tunes and Stories on CDs.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll want to drive a knife through your eyeball after the 42th re-telling of any &quot;whoever and the whatever&quot; story, but he'll like it and be quiet. Except if he likes telling the story as well. In that case you're pretty screwed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prefer the ones that come with a book as well, so they can follow the story. Pro-tip: prefer rather long stories. I have a CD with 3 stories that are about 4 minutes each. After 2hours of listening to it, the knife alternative sounds entertaining. But if you have a 30 or 40 minute story, then it's not as repetitive and unnerving. You'll still have nervous twitches everytime they'll break into song even long after the road trip is over though. It stays with you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Smartphone, tablets, etc...&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fine for playing videos as well, so if you have digitalized a few cartoons, you might want to transfer them to the phone, if he's old enough to not pause the video by mistake every 5 seconds (in which case the screaming reaction is probably counter-productive...).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Portable video players&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are actually fairly cheap nowadays. I never thought I'd buy into that sort of stuff and thought this was kind of a luxury for self-entitled kids and parents who can't figure out how to keep their kids busy, but... it does buy definitely you some quiet time, and makes them happy. Make them pick their DVDs before you leave (you don't want 15minutes of crying because you forgot the one they want).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Toy Cameras&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also relatively cheap now. They can be fun to have the kid take pictures of the scenery and feel like a road adventurer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Toy Computers&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And similar things with lots of buttons and make lots of noise, and have lots of games. 3yo is a bit early, but that one is kind of a long-term investment you won't regret. We bought a cheap &quot;notebook&quot; for our kid when he was 1.5yo. Couldn't play the game, but liked to copy us and hear the sounds. Now at 4, and as the thing survived (surprisingly...) until now, he can play the games and still likes to take it with him. I'm not talking anything to technical or fancy, I mean a rather basic &quot;computer&quot;-like toy here. Something that just helps to learn the alphabet, has the kid count asteroids or find a number or letter, etc... Might be to advanced for him yet, but just the noise and copying you if you have computers at home will help.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nourishments and Comfort Food&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to pack proper food, some snacks, some drinks, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Stuff To Do&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few additional recommendations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Breaks&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breaks are mandatory. Unfortunately, breaks with kids always take way longer than you'd like to and they very significantly increase your travel time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=1998-07-02&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yQjQ6.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Blues - 1998-07-02&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;But&lt;/em&gt; they're worth it for your peace of mind and everybody's mood. Use the occasion to exercise, play with the kids, bathroom breaks, buy a super cheap toy so the novelty keeps them busy an extra hour or so (pro-tip: avoid toys that have red or blue lights... did that once during a night trip, and thought a police car was trailing me every time he'd turn it on... bad, BAD idea). Possibly even reload on cheap cartoon DVDs as well while you're there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, scheduling breaks is kind of dark art that requires a voodoo priest or something. It just never works right for everybody.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=1998-06-30&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/YygeO.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Blues - 1998-06-30&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make it Comfortable&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adjust the seat, bring a blanket, window shades, etc... Basically anything to make sure they're comfortable (especially if you adjust the air con for yourself in the front seats, which may feel very different in the back seats). Remember: a comfortable kid is a kid who has a greater chance of falling asleep :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Novelty is on Your Side&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So keep it alive. If you buy more than one new toy/book/movie, before or during the trip, don't show them all at once. Release them as you go. Keep the novelty effect on your side.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Play along&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not exactly ideal while driving, so keep it safe. But just counting (or pointing at, if he doesn't count yet) colored cars, trees, cows or whatever can keep him busy a while.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Drive at Night&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like Joe said, there are perks. Maybe not the whole trip though (it's difficult, and you have less service in rest stops if needed, and it's potentially more dangerous), but at least a part of it. There's kind of a difficult spot with some kids though, when they get tired and cranky but before they fall asleep. That, and also they might not be the only ones feeling sleepy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=1996-05-25&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/iEB5o.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Baby Blues - 1996-05-25&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, I don't think I've ever gone on a road trip where my significant other didn't nose dive during the first hour and then for a good portion of the trip. But usually so do the kids. :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Check Your Car&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not exactly directly relevant to your question, but just as a cautious reminder. Because think of being stranded on the side of the road waiting for help to arrive. Now think of that same situation with kids who are bored, hungry, and when you run out of nappies, spare clothes, and it gets cold.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Drive smoothly.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again: &lt;em&gt;a comfortable kid is a kid who falls asleep!&lt;/em&gt; :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if you have another person who can sit in the back and play with the kid, your life gets considerably easier (theirs, however, that's a different story... I remember the mommy crying more than the kid, on occasion :)) and you don't have to resort to attention-grabbing things like DVDs/smartphones that much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-03-25T14:24:02.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11913" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11936" CreationDate="2014-03-25T14:56:21.557" Score="14" ViewCount="33639" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 53 years old and my wife is 47 years old and we have a 22-year-old son. We have huge problems with him. He has changed universities three times and now he is in a college. He drops his courses, he is not interested in working, and he makes a lot of stress for us every day. We have offered him the opportunity to see a consultant and psychologist, but he has refused. We want to ask him to leave our home. Kindly help us and let me know how we can ask him? We tried one time previously but he broke some glasses and made a big problem for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7124" LastEditorUserId="6535" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T15:31:10.737" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T17:46:10.640" Title="How can we ask our 22-year-old son to leave?" Tags="|adult-child|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11914" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-25T16:59:49.920" Score="4" ViewCount="29257" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hi I have a 5 year old son and he's having problems focusing in school, he does his homework well and most times without supervision, but his teacher says he's not focusing in school and therefore all the work done in school is being sent for him to do at home. When he's in a quiet environment he's fine but when he's among his peers he forgets what he's suppose to be doing and studies what his peers are doing. He went from being in an &quot;A&quot; group in his class to a &quot;C&quot; group. I'm really hoping I get some ideas on how to deal with this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7125" LastActivityDate="2014-07-20T22:24:33.113" Title="How do I get my 5 year old to focus in school" Tags="|focus|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11915" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-25T17:09:18.537" Score="6" ViewCount="313" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 years 9 months old. He has a classmate of roughly the same age. The class is for kids under 3 and over 2. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That classmate bites or attempts to bite my son. My son is his only target in class for some reason. He does this when the teacher is not around. My son doesn't bite back or complain to the teacher. There are bite marks on his hand, which I have shown to the teacher. The teacher said that this behavior was common among children of that age. The only defense my son has is a weak attempt to push the other kid away from him. So far this has happened 3 times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since this is happening in preschool, what steps should I take?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6155" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-12T12:15:01.173" LastActivityDate="2019-06-12T12:47:16.817" Title="What steps to take when a classmate of my 33-month-old bites him?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|biting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11916" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-25T18:34:13.747" Score="5" ViewCount="242" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not talking about discussions of how different cultures have different traditions, and holidays, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm more interested in the idea of white, black or Asian people, which are obviously highly integrated concepts in most (American) adults, but which don't seem to come up much as a concept these days for young kids (probably a good sign).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not so naive as to think we live in a &quot;post racial&quot; society, but I'm lucky enough to live somewhere with a highly diverse, very integrated population.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to ensure my kids get exposed to healthy perspectives on predudice, diversity, etc.  And I've been told that even today, kids eventually all generally become aware of historically relevant distinctions, and it's a good idea to expose them in an environment where you have the chance ensure the focus is on the &lt;em&gt;benefits&lt;/em&gt; of difference in background, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I sort of feel like the idea of &quot;white people,&quot; &quot;Asain people,&quot; etc. is one it's silly to teach or emphasize before it comes up an issue. But I'm hesitant to wait until after it potentially comes up in a negative context outside of the home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any studies or best practices that are recent enough to be relevant in today's increasingly integrated world?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T06:52:29.153" Title="Is there any upside to talking to young children about racial or ethnic groups?" Tags="|morals|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11752" CreationDate="2014-03-25T20:19:22.410" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another reason: a higher vantage point than they're used to. It's hard for us to realize how limited kiddo's perspective can be from down low. Sitting on our laps puts them up at a similar eye level to us that's still a notable novelty. My bored son can suddenly find his unchange environment enthralling for another five minutes just by virtue of being lifted up onto my lap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2014-03-25T20:19:22.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11914" CreationDate="2014-03-25T21:23:51.383" Score="4" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Sleep and/or Nutrition Issue?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to check that your son isn't tired and eating well. It could be that he's simply not feeling in shape to stay alert long enough, and that could be due to his sleep routine or eating habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying it's necessarily a huge problem (though that could be a sign of a disorder or lack of a particular nutrient) and it's more likely a minor thing, but just make sure he's not lacking anything in his diet. Even more so if you have a specific diet (e.g. vegetarian).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Rewards?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe your son simply didn't get what the general objectives are and where the reward lies for him. Basically, maybe he's not aware that he should be paying attention and doing these things, and he has no clue that he is doing it wrong (or probably knows something is wrong, but does not know what).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it may help to tell him that if he gets home with all his school done he'll be rewarded in kind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, maybe use the family time - dinner, bed time story... - to discuss what he's been doing during the day a bit more. Try to be excited about it and to relate to it (&quot;Oh yeah I remember doing THIS! Did you also do THAT? Maybe we can do that some more together or with daddy/mommy tomorrow after school, or this week-end!&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose you already do these things, but sometimes you may not realize if you have lots to do at work that you don't give them enough attention (or not the one they want).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2014-03-25T21:29:54.747" LastActivityDate="2014-03-25T21:29:54.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11914" CreationDate="2014-03-25T22:31:52.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can you spend a day or two in the classroom? This will enable you to evaluate whether the distraction level is very high (teacher can't control the room) or your child is more sensitive to it than the other children. You may also be able to observe some patterns and then suggest some strategies (later, when you're home) for your child to employ.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also gather information to make your conversations with him more fruitful. Say they are given a task to draw a shoe, and one or two children you can tell he is friends with start drawing shoes, and another child takes his shoe off and causes a distraction with it, while another child draws an apple and still another wanders away from the table and starts playing with the lego... these are now example children you can use in discussions about staying on task. You can even introduce this concept of being &quot;on task&quot; at home, and then later review who was on task and who wasn't during particular activities. This gives you vocabulary to be able to say &quot;you have all this homework tonight because you weren't on task when this activity was happening in class&quot; and generally to translate for your child. Children more than double your child's age still don't always understand the unwritten rules of the classroom, and teachers don't always explain them, so you can, using concrete examples drawn from your time observing the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also be able to spend a short amount of time looking at the older classrooms to see if this is a temporary situation that will simply be easier for him next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-03-25T23:00:33.367" LastActivityDate="2014-03-25T23:00:33.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11914" CreationDate="2014-03-25T22:38:41.857" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two issues that we have come across:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Audiological processing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some people, when the background noise rises they lose the ability to discern specific voices. This has to do with how the brain processes the audio signal. This can be scientifically diagnosed using a figure-ground discrimination test by an audiologist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is an issues, there are several ways around it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A quieter classroom - this tends to be almost impossible for a 5yo's&#xA;class. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sit the child at the front so they can hear better &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Train them by playing music (no words, we use classical) while they play at home&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work with the teacher, sometimes they might need to touch the child&#xA;on the shoulder before talking to ensure they have the child's full&#xA;attention. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wearing headphones - we have several children at our school who wear headphones to reduce the ambient noise levels.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Visual processing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children who have good eyes can benefit from a mild prescription glasses to aid the visual processing in the brain. Our lad (5yo) was diagnosed by a behavioural optometrist who found that, although he could see well enough, he required a lot of brain effort to process the signal. This would show up as him losing concentration during class. We now have him wearing glasses in class and when we do his homework, this seems to have help his concentration. He will now read 30~45 minutes at a time without getting tired. The validity of behavioural optometry is discussed &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/14/magazine/14vision-t.html?pagewanted=all&amp;amp;_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. It works for us, but YMMV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or it could be a lot simpler:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;work is too easy, he's getting bored&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;work is too hard, he's getting frustrated&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;lack of sleep&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a teacher not well suited to young children. My 5yo's teacher makes the kids to 15 minutes of exercise before starting work - it makes a world of difference to their concentration.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2014-03-25T23:36:58.703" LastActivityDate="2014-03-25T23:36:58.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11921" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-26T00:42:16.150" Score="7" ViewCount="2420" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 14-month twins who are just starting to learn to walk. Our house is a split level townhouse with three short flights of stairs. We have several gates to keep them safe. They're pretty competent at climbing &lt;em&gt;up&lt;/em&gt; steps when supervised, but getting &lt;em&gt;down&lt;/em&gt; them is a huge worry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, we don't want to let them loose on the stairs until we are certain they will be safe. How can we help them learn to climb and descend stairs on their own? What are the signals that they are ready to be alone on the stairs without too much danger?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2015-02-04T04:54:19.660" Title="Can toddlers be taught to safely navigate stairs?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11921" CreationDate="2014-03-26T03:37:57.317" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stairs were a hard thing on our end too. Your twins are still pretty young. You have to take in account of how long they've been walking. I wouldn't put a beginner skier on a double black diamond until I was sure they wouldn't hit a tree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach was to continually hold our toddler's hand while we walked down, insisting that she hold the rail. If she tripped, she wasn't ready so we watched until there were 0 errors in her step for an unset number of times (you'll know when they are comfortable). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also helped to, for lack of a better term, &quot;actively walk&quot; down the steps. We would keep her engaged on the task at hand, usually by getting her to count the stairs with us. It taught her counting and focus all at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll know when they are ready. They will look comfortable traversing the stairs and may even pull away from you to do it on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-03-26T03:37:57.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11921" CreationDate="2014-03-26T09:31:21.757" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 14 months, most kids can only crawl on the stairs. They will learn &lt;em&gt;walking up&lt;/em&gt; much sooner than &lt;em&gt;walking down.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do/did is to teach the toddler to crawl down with the feet first and belly down - just like you'd climb up, only in reverse. The same technique works for getting off the couch or bed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers might want to face forward but that direction is more difficult. If you can train them to crawl in reverse they'll be safe until they become better at walking in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-03-26T09:31:21.757" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11915" CreationDate="2014-03-26T09:35:47.297" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teach your child to protest loudly. A loud &lt;em&gt;&quot;no! don't bite me!&quot;&lt;/em&gt; should be enough, and if it isn't, it should get the teacher's attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pushing away is also good, but why is he only doing it &quot;weakly&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What did the teacher say when you addressed this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-03-26T09:35:47.297" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-03-26T09:52:56.423" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can understand that you want your son to leave, because he is not contributing to his own life or to your household. It sounds like he needs to grow up and accept some responsibilities!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I also think that your wanting him to leave seems to be only the tip of the iceberg. If he behaves as poorly as you suggest then I would guess that there are other behavioral problems that started a long, long time ago. This means that I would not expect any &quot;quick fix&quot; to work. There are deep(er) problems you must address first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following might be my wrong assumptions, but perhaps it can help you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he have any responsibilities in your household? Do you expect &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; from him, and does he fulfill those expectations? Think about this from the smallest scale first, the smallest tasks, the smallest expectations. If he already fails on the smallest scale then you can't expect success on higher levels, and each level builds on the one before it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is of course what &lt;em&gt;raising responsible children&lt;/em&gt; is all about, and it starts at a very early age, even at age 1 for the smallest things. Have you neglected some of this &lt;em&gt;raising&lt;/em&gt; in the past? How many years worked &quot;well&quot; and at what age did things start to go &quot;bad&quot;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &quot;mental age&quot; is what you should focus on for now: if he acts like a 14-year-old, then &lt;em&gt;treat him like one!&lt;/em&gt; Make it clear to him that he can only demand things on the same level as his maturity. If he wants higher-level things then he must first show that he can behave himself on that level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-03-26T09:52:56.423" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11921" CreationDate="2014-03-26T11:44:11.660" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This definitely depends on the kid.  My youngest can go up and down stairs with no problem, and he has been able to since 11 months.  He learned how to go down stairs (backwards as otherwise noted here) very quickly - over christmas at Grandma's house, who has a single step up to the raised dining room.  Nice short drop to practice on, he went up and down that repeatedly.  We still have the gate up and accompany him up the stairs, but he's never fallen.  He is part-crawling part-walking up the stairs (he's been walking for a month or so).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest took longer to figure out going down, but he had it down by 15-16 months.  We moved into a house with stairs at around this point.  We gated the top, but not the bottom; he seemed to have a good handle of things.  It also helped that we have a short landing with 2 stairs, then 9 stairs, then 3 stairs, at right angles, so there's never a long distance to fall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Around 21 months, he had his only fall so far of more than just into the stairs, falling down about 4-5 stairs as a result of getting a bit too excited.  He wasn't seriously hurt, just cried for a minute or two and then wanted to go back up.  Stairs, fortunately, aren't all that dangerous in most circumstances to kids; they're not falling far enough due to their height to have major injuries.  Not to say you don't need to be careful, but it's not the horrible demon a lot of people see it as; letting your kids have their head once in a while isn't likely to cause serious injury, as long as they know to be safe (and he definitely does, now).  From our point of view, it was safer to let him practice on relatively safe stairs at home and risk a fall or two than to worry that he might run off while out somewhere and have a more serious fall on stairs that are unfamiliar and perhaps much longer, or concrete, or something else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is to let them practice on the stairs to their hearts' content.  Make sure they practice going down backwards, but in general let them have controlled access to the stairs as much as you can until they are totally comfortable with them - and by controlled I don't mean handholding, I mean standing a few stairs down from them but otherwise giving them their head.  This is the first of many things that you have to let them do to some extent even when there is some risk - in the next few months, if they're like my oldest, they'll be wanting to climb all over the park, and perhaps even the &quot;big kids'&quot; play equipment, which is clearly far superior to the little kids'.  That will be much scarier than this, but it's all a part of growing up - learning to make mistakes while they don't cost you too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of learning to descend, my youngest's method was pretty good for learning if you have it - a one or two stair descent that you can leave ungated.  We left our bottom landing (2 stairs) ungated plus grandma's dining room, and between the two he learned on his own.  If not, then the method we used with our oldest should work; take them to some stairs that you feel comfortable with, let them go up with you behind them, but instead of carrying them down, tell them they have to go down on their 'own'.  Then, if they try to descent forwards, turn them around (so they reverse-crawl down the stairs).  Keep turning them around until they figure it out.  It might take a while - it took a few weeks with my oldest - but eventually they'll figure it out.  The reward of getting to go back up the stairs is a pretty significant reward, after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-26T11:44:11.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-03-26T22:06:19.423" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like a difficult situation, and indeed getting a psychologist (or similar) on board would help. However, I would suggest that you go yourself, instead of sending your son - and ask them the same question you asked here. A lot of counselling centers around how to assertively state your wishes and stay by them in a situation of disrupted family dynamics.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-03-26T22:06:19.423" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11930" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-27T01:40:32.287" Score="2" ViewCount="137" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of my friends with preschool and early-elementary children routinely give their children a snack shortly before bed to help them sleep better. On the other hand, we have generally limited post-dinner eating to a light snack or dessert. We don't particularly notice a problem with our children being too hungry to sleep. (Although they &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; seem &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/11699/4521&quot;&gt;particularly hungry in the morning&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It occurs to me that some children could be genetically predisposed to needing a full stomach in order to sleep. But it seems more likely that bedtime snack has become a ritual needed that helps relax a child. Some families brush teeth, read a story, or turn on music while others eat some cheese and crackers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any evidence that food helps children fall asleep and stay asleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-09T12:41:26.783" LastActivityDate="2018-10-09T12:41:26.783" Title="Does a late evening snack improve the odds that a child will sleep well?" Tags="|sleep|food|bedtime|research|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="850" CreationDate="2014-03-27T03:06:57.983" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is this free app on the App Store called &quot;Text To Speech&quot; and how it works is you type down what you want to say and the app will speak what you typed. It is extremely helpful at school for me, because I sometimes can't actually speak to people because my throat closes up. I recommend it, as she will be able to communicate without being forced to speak. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7135" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-27T12:57:22.307" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T12:57:22.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11916" CreationDate="2014-03-27T09:22:19.173" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the contrary to popular belief, our kids are more influenced by their surrounding companies as compared to their parents. Nevertheless, it depends on the parents to make them understand &lt;strong&gt;how much to take from what all they listen&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are living in a neutral society/area, that's the best thing. The only thing you can do is teach your kids to treat &lt;strong&gt;everybody equal as humans&lt;/strong&gt; and not by their nationality. I'm an Indian and have visited a foreign country. I've observed such things there. But I teach my daughter neutral thing and make her understand that she has to respect everyone as a human. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how would others treat your kids, it's not in your control. Should every parent start thinking like you, the world would be a close family with no racism/ethnicity issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO, we should (and that's what I do) teach our kids about different cultures, their rituals and way of living than talking about the tone of the skin! To my daughter, I explain that it's just a matter of genes that someone is with fair skin and someone is not. No matter what skin color you have, until you keep yourself neutral, amiable, knowledgeable and trustworthy, there's no one in this world who'll ever point at you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T09:22:19.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11699" CreationDate="2014-03-27T09:51:32.040" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Jealousy is natural tendency we find among infants and babies. You simply cannot help it and it &lt;strong&gt;goes with the time&lt;/strong&gt;. Have you ever seen two grown up twins fighting over a morsel to eat first? Don't worry, this will go as they grow. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As of now, if alternating spoon-feeding &lt;strong&gt;has not worked,&lt;/strong&gt; for a period being, you can treat/feed them separately. You take one of them somewhere else while your wife feeding the other and then vice versa. Once they grow a bit more, help them &lt;strong&gt;coming close to each other&lt;/strong&gt; by teaching &lt;strong&gt;sharing&lt;/strong&gt;. In fact, this I am sure will happen in their schools and they'll probably learn from there. It won't be a problem anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are twins and it's not mandatory to feed them simultaneously. A 10-15 minute gap is okay and affordable to the jealously growing by leaps and bounds! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T09:51:32.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11930" CreationDate="2014-03-27T09:59:30.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a healthcare provider (holistic healing, per se). I advise &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; to eat just before you go to bed! In fact, your last meal and your hitting sack should have at least the gap of two hours for better digestion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a layperson's language, while the body is asleep, all the systems calm down and undergo maintenance. Allotting a work to any system during &lt;em&gt;this maintenance period&lt;/em&gt; is bothering them at unwanted time (Imagine your boss asking for a work at 2 AM!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Munching just before sleeping may grow up as a habit which will be then difficult to get rid of. Yes, having a little fat-free milk (with no cream) before going to bed is okay as milk (compared to (oily?) snacks) is nutritious and easy on stomach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as having a sleep is concern, it depends on various factors. If your kid has done a lot of activities (for instance playing, jumping, working hard), it's obvious that they'll fall asleep very soon. On the other hand, if the day is leisure time and no work is done, it's quite likely that the kid won't feel sleepy until late in the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a kid has a habit of sleeping early, there's no problem and you don't need to work hard for it. Remember, anything that comes natural is the best thing and will last long without creating any problem or habit. Any aid to bring sleep will ultimately become habit and in coming years may turn big. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastEditorUserId="6101" LastEditDate="2014-03-27T10:05:47.197" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T10:05:47.197" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-03-27T10:55:37.593" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I consider that he is not an abnormal child and understands everything. He goes to college and does whatever he wants. I also consider that you have already tried zillions of ways to make him understand and responsible. &lt;strong&gt;And&lt;/strong&gt; I consider that all has ended in vain. Am I right? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, if I'm right, there's only one way - separate him legally. Give him some amount of money and buy him a place asking to live on his own. That's the way he'll understand how it takes to take on responsibilities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your wife are at tender age where you &lt;strong&gt;need care&lt;/strong&gt; and not &lt;strong&gt;tension&lt;/strong&gt;. Many progeny unfortunately don't understand that. The only thing bring them 'on track' is when they start living alone and there's no one to help them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't suggest to be harsh but rather separate him politely offering him money, place or whatever he wants. Remember, if you can &lt;strong&gt;buy peace&lt;/strong&gt; it's worth spending any amount! That's what both you need to do. Ask for some legal settlement and tell them that you are still his parents and he can come visit you anytime. Your feelings are always there but just, you want your life to be peaceful and worry free. I hope, one day he'll realize and things will settle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastEditorUserId="6101" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T05:54:16.477" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T05:54:16.477" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11937" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-27T11:17:44.120" Score="1" ViewCount="809" Body="&lt;p&gt;While indoor games have several benefits &lt;em&gt;(no effects of weather, the kid is right in front of you, many intellectual mobile/video games that are rather impossible as an outdoor game, and so on...)&lt;/em&gt;, outdoor games are essential to stay physically fit, to be social and above all, to be &lt;em&gt;close to Mother Nature&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At times, I'm confused which type of game I should encourage Rhyme, my 8-year-old daughter to play? She gets very little time from her daily routine to play. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2016-06-04T15:02:46.483" Title="What should be encouraged? Indoor games or Outdoor?" Tags="|play-time|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11939" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-27T15:55:11.333" Score="8" ViewCount="19712" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 12-years old, and he has never been into traditional competitive sports.  I'm fine with this - not all kids are.  He played baseball for a short period when he was 8, but he didn't really care to continue.  He's into things like comic books, reading, drawing, video games (...Minecraft), and recently, computer programming!  Total nerd over here ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He isn't overweight, and has always been a skinny child, but recently I noticed he is getting a little chubby around his waist and he actually referred to himself as getting 'man boobs and a muffin top' the other day.  I am getting concerned with the onset of puberty and him possibly beginning to gain weight when his body starts to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He wanted to learn how to skateboard, so I bought him a very nice skateboard and gear from a local skateshop (not the cheap Walmart kind, but a really nice deck around $200) - it lasted about a week.  He's actually pretty good, or doesn't fall at least ;), but I'm struggling to get him out there and riding the thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I feel like he doesn't really have any motivation to try something new.  Would it be pretty much impossible to try to get him into a sport like baseball or soccer if he were willing?  I mean, in his age group, all the other kids will know all of the rules and be pretty good, while he would be a beginner.  If that isn't really possible, I would love suggestions on other things that he can do that are physically active, that he might be interested in as a nerdy kid - karate?  Fencing?  Those are the only 2 things that I can think of.  I thought about maybe just getting a gym membership and taking him with me and see if he likes any of the kids' activities there.  Boy scouts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What kinds of things does your sort of nerdy, different kid like to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7138" LastActivityDate="2019-01-26T00:39:07.347" Title="How can I get my 12-year old physically active or into sports when he's never been?" Tags="|pre-teen|sports|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2014-03-27T16:54:36.253" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even if he's a beginner, you should be able to find him a way to ramp up his skills and learn the sport.  Maybe check with your local gym to see if there's a coach that can get him started on the basics before the upcoming season.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, this isn't a DIRECT answer to your question, but giving his proclivities it popped in my head: what if you game-ify his physical activity?  Since he's a gamer and budding nerd (nerds FTW!), find ways for him to earn achievements and awards for doing physical activity.  Skateboarded for 20 min?  You just earned the &quot;Skate N00b&quot; award.  Add another 20 min onto that and you can get the &quot;No wipeouts&quot; award.  Tie an award to certain levels that will keep him motivated, and find a place in the house to post his current achievements in different areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely do get him involved in this process.  Have him come up with award levels, achievement titles, and suggestions for prizes after attaining a level.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T16:54:36.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11941" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-27T18:54:52.063" Score="3" ViewCount="3981" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little girl is 3 years old (she will be 4 in July). She is fully potty trained when it comes to peeing on the potty. However pooping is a different story. When we were first starting the potty training, she started holding in her poop making it hard for her to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We took her to her to the Dr they put her on Miralax said, &quot;this will help&quot; for 1.5 years she was on Miralax, we took her off because she was pooping in pants, with ease, but not on the potty, it was as if she didn't know she had to go, it would slip right out. So we took her off the Miralax and put her on Fiber Gummies, it seemed to work, she was pooping on the potty! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4-5 months go by, doing well, then all of a sudden she starts having troubles pooping again. We will have to start the Miralax all over again. She starts pooping with ease in her panties so once again we take her off Miralax &amp;amp; she is once again pooping on potty with gummies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One month later, we are having troubles AGAIN. The thing about this ordeal is that her poop is NOT hard and she is pooping just a bit in her butt cheeks but enough to soil her panties. I have tried everything I know! I don't know what to do any more. I have tried talking to her, asking her if she feels if she has to go potty, she won't tell you. We've tried rewards, making her clean her own panties and even taken things away, nothing seems to help. It's not that she is scared to go to the potty, because she will go, has done it before... but when we are having pooping issues, we got through 4-5 pairs of panties in a day for 1-2 weeks then she will start pooping on the potty again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have taken her to the doctors over this several times, even to the point where we did a CT to see if she had a tethered spinal cord. All was clear on that. Her doctors do not seemed overly concerned by this, however as the parents of our DD we are and do not think this is normal almost 4 year old behavior! Before she moves up in her pre-school she must be FULLY potty trained!! We are at our last wits end. Has anyone else gone through this? What was done to correct this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice would be much appreciated! Thank you in advanced!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7139" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T00:19:53.943" Title="Toddler Pooping Problems" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|potty|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2014-03-27T19:20:42.077" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former nerdy kid, I'd say that group sports, with their tendency to be full of cliques and popularity contests, were very hard for me. I've always been more at ease with biking, hiking and cross-country skiing - activities that did not depend so much on skill, that were pretty much individual in nature, and that weren't overly competitive. Many geeks I know are also avid rock climbers, or enjoy geo-caching (a way of incorporating electronics in the great outdoors). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, is it possible that he was teased in some way because of his attempt at learning skateboarding? If he mentioned it at school, and was laughed at for &quot;attempting to be cool&quot; or something like that, it might have cooled down his enthusiasm. (I'm not saying this is the case, but this is the sort of things that can happen at that age, especially if you're a nerdy kid. It's worth opening the discussion about it, before assuming he's just bored or lazy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7022" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T19:20:42.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11937" CreationDate="2014-03-27T19:24:02.217" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;To be honest, it sounds like the concern should be that there is very little time in the routine to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play is essential for children - both physical (running, jumping, dancing, etc) and mental play (board games, computer games, I-Spy etc) so if your difficulty is in fitting that into her routine I would suggest trying to change the routine or all too soon you will find the time for play is gone and you have an adult who has not really had enough childhood - which by all accounts has negative psychological effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about what type of play - if it is sunny it makes it easier to make the decision to play outside, but it shouldn't matter - just get her playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T19:24:02.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11944" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11946" CreationDate="2014-03-27T22:02:30.880" Score="66" ViewCount="16776" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son loves &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Giving_Tree&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Giving Tree&lt;/a&gt;,&quot; by Shel Silverstein.  And I also remember it being a favorite of mine as a kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I vaguely remember it from childhood as having some mildly sad themes, and most people I ask (who haven't read it lately) think of it as something along the lines of &quot;how relationships shift as people grow up or change.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, reading it as an adult, its lesson seems profoundly disturbing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It seems to be a book about a (metaphorically) abusive relationship.&lt;/strong&gt; It's the story of a tree who gives literally everything she has - and is - to a man who takes and takes, giving nothing in return, not even appreciation. Until she is literally nothing but a trunk.   &lt;em&gt;And then she's still happy because this unrepentant, selfish boy can get pleasure from sitting on the remaining, broken bits of her.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's obviously one good lesson in here, that I already embrace and try to highlight: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There's often nothing that can bring more joy than trying to make someone else happy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But has anyone found a way to explain or position the relationship in a way that doesn't seem to imply:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;... and even if someone never gives back, and never seems to care for you, you should keep on doing what makes them happy, no matter how imbalanced the relationship is?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-24T13:50:33.967" LastActivityDate="2019-02-24T13:50:33.967" Title="Can &quot;The Giving Tree&quot; be explained in a way that isn't an unhealthy lesson?" Tags="|teaching|emotional-well-being|books|morals|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11944" CreationDate="2014-03-27T22:41:11.617" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;The lesson in &lt;em&gt;The Giving Tree&lt;/em&gt; is not from the tree's point of view.  It is from the boy's.  The reader will more immediately identify with the boy, after all (if a child, in particular) - and so the lesson is to be aware of people giving to you, and be grateful for it, rather than continually demanding.  The boy doesn't feel happy, after all, until the end - which is the closure the poem intends, I feel; he was never happy taking taking taking, until he realized what he was doing and was able to feel grateful rather than wanting more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, I don't think it's solely a lesson per se.  Children (and adults!) need ways to understand social relationships, and a simplified relationship like this makes that easier.  &lt;em&gt;The Giving Tree&lt;/em&gt; helps children understand their relationship to their parents - they are the boy, their parents are the tree - and each episode can be seen as exemplifying an interaction where the parents give selflessly for their children's advancement, and are happy.  The child, however, is never happy with what they're given, and always wants more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, you as a parent will pay for your children to go to school, buy them food, buy them toys, perhaps even give them funding to start a business.  You will do that because it makes you happy to see your children happy and successful.  Seeing this extremely simplified equivalent in &lt;em&gt;The Giving Tree&lt;/em&gt; can help your children understand why you do what you do, and how it makes you feel; and rather than to keep saying &quot;More!  More!&quot; to be grateful for what you do and how it helps them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might annotate it by asking questions, such as &quot;How do you think the boy might have given back to the tree?  What might he have done to help himself feel better?  Why do you think he was unhappy after the tree gave him these things?&quot;  That would both help your child(ren) understand the lesson better, and perhaps analyze their own feelings in that light as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-27T22:41:11.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11944" CreationDate="2014-03-28T00:38:01.487" Score="79" Body="&lt;p&gt;This book works differently for people at different stages of their lives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lesson for young children reading this book, I believe, is about unconditional love. Children need to know and trust that their parents will always be there for them, loving them without question, even if they need them their whole lives. You could say to your young child, &quot;I'm like that tree. I will always be here for you, no matter what you need.&quot; (&lt;em&gt;I'll Love You Forever&lt;/em&gt; by Munsch has a similar theme.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lesson for an older child is to become more aware of the gifts given to them. A school age child will begin to see the unfairness inherent in the relationship and also begin to see things from a parent's perspective. With an older child, you could say, &quot;Sometimes when I read this book, I feel like there is something missing in the relationship of the boy and the tree&quot; or &quot;Sometimes when I read this book it makes me happy, and sometimes it makes me sad.&quot; Then let your child talk. Gratitude is such an important lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lesson for parents is to not expect gratitude, but to give freely, because that's what it means to truly love your child. To myself, I would ask, &quot;Are there times when I should be more like the tree with my kids?&quot; It's a call to be your most loving, giving self, not because you are being thanked, but because that's what it means to love. If you are religious, this is akin to being the Buddha or being like Jesus (two examples).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The wonder of this book, though, is that it works subconsciously. You don't actually have to talk about it at all to benefit from what it has to teach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T00:38:01.487" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2014-03-28T00:51:24.247" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As your goal is physical activity and he seems averse to sport, perhaps you should consider non-sport things that you could do together. Doing things as a family activity takes away the competitive element and also the need to excel or get better at something. Go camping or fishing. Go hiking. Go to nerdy conventions and scour the exhibit hall (miles of walking). Work on the car together. Build something together. Bowl. Row. Get an active dog. Play in a swimming pool. Variety may be your friend here. Are there activities you enjoy that you could share with him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, note that many children do put on extra weight ahead of puberty because their bodies need a lot of fuel for the growth spurt ahead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T00:51:24.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2014-03-28T05:06:02.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are noticing those changes in his chest, first you should check out for something called 'gynecomastia' and make sure that it is NOT that. That's to rule out something which is very necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the 'activeness' problem. Well, if a kid &lt;strong&gt;does not like&lt;/strong&gt; any sport, they won't play it for sure. If you force, it'll make no sense. Also, remember that not all kids who play outdoors are physically fit and on the other hand not all who don't like sports are dull and unhealthy. Not all who play games are slim and trim and not all who sit in house are bulky! It depends on &lt;strong&gt;many other factors&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, if a kid is &lt;strong&gt;active&lt;/strong&gt; in doing work (though household) is fine. Don't force the kid for any sport. If he likes, he'll surely go for it. Kids are highly influenced by surrounding and if his friends are playing and getting a lot of fun, maybe, one day, he'll also join the sport. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Liking sport is something that comes by birth and it cannot be developed. You are doing good by making the kid understand about the sports and buying him some stuff to try on. Educate him about the importance of outdoor games and probably get him into it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing is if nothing works, at least you start acting. Take him for a jog. This is beneficial for both of you. If not jogging, try something else but involve yourself. Some kids tend to participate in action if their parents are involved -again, this is a try. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 12-year-old kid is not a small kid and he must have seen almost all games. He still hasn't shown any interest in any game which means he's actually not interested. At school or at home, he'll see people playing some game and it comes from &lt;em&gt;within&lt;/em&gt; to try the sport. If he likes it, you don't need to motivate him - he'll go for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, try to involve yourself (or some family member) for jogging, brisk walking or the like. Don't force for any sport if he does not like it. Many friends of mine have never tried any sport still they are fit and fine. You need not worry until he's active enough in his routine work. About preventing his obesity, it's an all different issue! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T05:06:02.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11949" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12009" CreationDate="2014-03-28T05:16:47.940" Score="14" ViewCount="6273" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you read news and are aware of international affairs, you'll be aware that something cruel had happened in &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_Delhi_gang_rape&quot;&gt;India in December 2012&lt;/a&gt; that shook the whole nation. For months, this was the headlines of all the newspapers, media channels and even a part of local plays, events and many other things to make girls aware. In fact, schools had several 'self-defense' programs for girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During this period, my 8-year-old daughter asked me several times about what all this is going on? In fact, whenever we advise her to be cautious (Indian newspapers, almost daily, have child molestation's news) with an unknown fellow, the first thing she asks is &lt;strong&gt;what they do to girls?&lt;/strong&gt; The same thing she asked for that case of December 2012. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being in catch-22, I manipulate my answer and tell her that bad people take girls and &lt;em&gt;beat&lt;/em&gt; them but you and I know, that's not the answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way to express what exactly it has to do with girls to this little girl? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2017-08-14T12:10:10.433" Title="How do I define 'rape' to an 8-year-old girl?" Tags="|abuse|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11950" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11957" CreationDate="2014-03-28T08:38:21.363" Score="4" ViewCount="784" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4-year-old daughter. Yesterday, when I was changing my daughter in her PJ's to get ready for bed she started crying out of nowhere. This was very surprising because we don't get that very often with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I asked what was wrong she answered: &quot;I don't know what to be when I am older!&quot;, and the crying intensified. I picked her up and cuddled her, telling here it's going to be fine, and there is no shame in the fact that she doesn't know that, that in time it will come to her, and it's more important to be happy than to be anything else. It took me a hour to get her to calm down! She seemed scared of the fact of growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, our daughter is not your typical daughter, she was making 2~3 word sentences when she was 1 year of age, and adding and subtracting about the time she turned 2 years old (already talking with full sentences by then). Now, her intellect is about 6~7 years of age, but her emotional needs are still those of a 4-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we make it clear to her there is no shame in not knowing what you want to be? Can we give her options to trigger her imagination so she will not be afraid of it. Could making her visualizing it (something she likes to do, like taking care of animals on a farm) take the fright out of the situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7059" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-05T12:34:57.010" LastActivityDate="2019-05-05T12:34:57.010" Title="How to help a 4-year-old who is afraid because she doesn't know yet what she will do when she's grown up?" Tags="|pre-schooler|communication|anxiety|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="11951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11950" CreationDate="2014-03-28T09:04:50.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she's blessed with advanced intellect, she'll be also blessed with wits to deal with any issue! That's what I think. Many kids are advanced but then over the period of time, they become otherwise okay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's intelligent and mature as you say and thus I believe that she will take it positively if you make her understand the system that everything happens &lt;strong&gt;as its time comes&lt;/strong&gt; and you'll become what you want for sure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Now her intellect is about 6~7 years of age, but her emotional needs are still those of a 4 year old&lt;/em&gt; - this clearly means that she has advanced brain but little heart! So, adding a little emotion, you can convey the truth - something like she's an apple of your eye and whatever she becomes, she'll be the best. Stop worrying about the future thing and start living today. That's what great people have preached and taught to us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she develops even greater intellect, it's good. Take it as a positive sign and let her take giant leaps and bounds in her career right from that tender age. These days, things move much faster than how they were 20 years back. To become a billionaire, it took ages then, and today, Mark Zuckerberg, Justin and others are ruling the world. Maybe, your kid is one of those gems-to-be in the future!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T09:04:50.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4653" CreationDate="2014-03-28T10:28:52.963" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Investigate Vernal Allergic Conjunctivitis. It is more common among boys than girls. I know a lot about it as I spent years arguing with my doctor about my sons eyes. It was stressful for me and debilitating for him! He is now 14 and after suffering for approx 12 years seems to have grown out of it. (Touch wood)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These things will help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;oral antihistamines daily (clarentyne is non drowsy)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Zaditen eyes drops on mild days (no prescription required)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;steroid eye drops for bad days ( this is where your fight comes in with regular GPs doctors! Most state &quot;one eye bacterial, two allergy&quot;. No!!! This is wrong! You CAN have only one eye at a time affected and also sometimes both eyes. They will also say discharge means bacterial infection. No!! Vernal Allergic Conjunctivitis has a white string like discharge. You will know it when you see it. Fight for the drops for your sons comfort)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cold compresses - (we used to wet a face washer/flannel and wrap a ice pack inside it. My sons used these daily for years!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if there is white stringy discharge you can clean the eye with soft muslin and saline solution. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like someone not to have to go through what we went through so if I can help in any way please email me kaylambert@hotmail.com&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7147" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-03-28T11:51:55.663" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T11:51:55.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11949" CreationDate="2014-03-28T11:11:21.530" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two questions here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to protect your daughter against sexual molestation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to explain the concept of rape&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are quite distinct, as most cases of sexual molestation don't take the form of violent rape, and in fact most are not committed by &quot;unknown fellows&quot;, but by friends and family members. To prevent that, the best method is to teach children to be self-confident and willing to defend their own boundaries instead of always doing what they're told. Tell your daughter something like &quot;If anyone tries to make you do something you don't like or makes you feel uncomfortable, tell them 'no', go away and tell me about it&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this may prompt questions of &quot;what kind of thing&quot;, and that overlaps with the second question. Defining rape as &quot;forcing someone to do sexual things against their will&quot; should be easy enough for an 8 year old to understand - if they know what &quot;sexual things&quot; mean, and your questions sounds like that may not be the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if so, this is the first thing you need to do (or have done by her mother or another female family member): at 8 years, it's &lt;em&gt;high time&lt;/em&gt; for her to get the &quot;facts of life&quot; talk (see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/707/&quot;&gt;this question for more info&lt;/a&gt;) because she'll soon enough get that information from somewhere else (e.g. friends at school), probably quite a lot of it wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1939" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T12:32:52.243" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11949" CreationDate="2014-03-28T12:02:39.527" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;To be honest, if you're not ready to talk about sex, your current answer is the best available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to many sources, Rape is considered to be more related to violent crime than to sex crime in terms of its impact and its aims (power fantasies fed by the victim's humiliation &amp;amp; fear). There's no reason to go beyond &quot;they hurt them because they think it's fun&quot; until you're ready to have a talk about sex. Although I actually agree with Michael that you should be comfortable talking about that sooner rather than later, I understand you may not be ready to take that step, and cultures vary on when the &quot;right time&quot; is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's not satisfied, you can talk to her about the fact that they're generally picking girls who are weaker than them and that it's a kind of really bad bullying (again, same impact and aims).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing I don't know how you'd personally approach is society's attitude towards rape victims, this varies wildly between cultures, but one thing your daughter may be confused about is the reaction of &quot;Well, nice girls don't go to those areas/she must have been looking for it/she'll never find a husband now&quot;. This is utterly dependent on your own values, and far easier for me, as I just treat it with an angry contempt, and say that &quot;some people need to believe that bad things only happen when you do something wrong.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-03-28T12:10:25.100" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T12:10:25.100" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11950" CreationDate="2014-03-28T14:23:50.120" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start by explaining to her that who she &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; and what she &lt;strong&gt;does&lt;/strong&gt; are not the same thing.  Just because two people are fire fighters, for example, does not mean they are the same people.  They can think and act very differently, like very different things, and generally behave very differently when they aren't working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the concepts of &quot;who you are&quot; and &quot;what you do&quot; are clarified as being distinct, explain that many, many adults change &quot;what they do&quot; as they get older.  Some people change this several times.  If you or your spouse have changed careers (even if it was just part-time jobs while working your way through school), mention that.  If not, perhaps there are family members or friends that have changed careers that you could cite as examples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no hurry to pick what you want to do, and no one expects a 4 year old to know what they want to do (and even if a 4 year old does pick something that they want to do, it's perfectly okay for them to change their mind!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then tell her that you have a secret to share with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The secret is this: there's something that is far more important to know than &quot;what you want to do&quot;, and that is &quot;what you &lt;em&gt;like&lt;/em&gt; to do&quot;.  The people who are most successful in life are generally those who figure out what they like to do, and then find a way to keep doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that's what growing up is really about: figuring out what you like to do, and then figuring out ways to do what you like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remind her that there's so many things to do, and she hasn't had a chance to try them all yet, so there are probably lots of things that she likes to do that she doesn't know about yet.  Maybe her favorite thing in the world will be flying a plane, or traveling to distant places, or scuba diving, or solving complex math problems...  it could be anything!  But she won't know most of the things that she likes until she has a chance to try them, and that takes time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T14:23:50.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11937" CreationDate="2014-03-28T16:15:38.857" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Whatever she wants to do.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously - get her outside, and &lt;em&gt;ask&lt;/em&gt; her. She can do whatever she wants, so long as it's outside. (And if she wants you to play with her, you should make the time - she'll only be eight once, after all!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that means leaving the schedule a bit open-ended. Maybe she'll doodle with chalk on the sidewalk. Maybe she'll run around the lawn chasing butterflies. Maybe she'll just sit on the grass and watch the clouds and daydream. It's her time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If her schedule/routine is so regimented that there's &quot;little time&quot; to play, she'll probably be thrilled to make her own choices (once she gets past the OMG-I-have-to-think-for-myself shock!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7157" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T16:15:38.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11672" CreationDate="2014-03-28T16:15:52.310" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a very, very fast speaker as a child, and continued to be so until I was 15 yo or so. While everyone pointed it out, no one really made me feel bad about it, which probably helped a lot. Also my Dad was of the opinion I spoke so fast because I thought too fast which made me feel really good!! But I was constantly advised to speak slower, and I always kept that in mind. I needed reminding, initially, but after a while (especially after I had some experience in public speaking), it became second nature to automatically slow down. It helps to emphasise the need for eye contact while talking- slows you down automatically!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7160" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T16:15:52.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-03-28T16:21:41.187" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Failing all of the other good advice listed above, that there are always the time-honored passive aggressive methods. You could take up the habit of being around the house completely naked, playing music you love that he hates loudly, instituting internet black-out hours via taking the modem with you to work (make sure you have an excuse for this &quot;a coworker wanted to borrow it during his lunch break&quot;), kissing your wife a little too passionately with him around, etc. It is your house, you don't need to always make it operate a way he likes it. If he feels too uncomfortable he'll be motivated to change something. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7102" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T16:21:41.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11949" CreationDate="2014-03-28T16:42:30.873" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on what you are interested in explaining and avoiding.  You may first explain that not everyone has good intentions as you're her dad. And you may say some people may want to kill, hurt, or try to force her to do thinks she doesn't want even people that may seem to be nice to you and other but you will always believe her and not blame her for things she tells you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7161" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-29T02:24:13.303" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T02:24:13.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2014-03-28T16:42:44.507" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking as a former teen-aged geek, here's a few things that have worked for (and on me - thanks Mom and Dad! :) )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Organized sports are kinda hit-and-miss for a geek (esp. if it's not their interest). Teen years are rough to start with. And some people don't get &quot;runner's high&quot;, so they lose the reinforcement that keeps some of those solo sports going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What did work for me was &quot;non-exercise&quot; exercise. If he's got a skateboard but isn't interested in the sports angle, what about as means of transportation? He's still outdoors, he's still &quot;exercising&quot;, but it serves a practical purpose (which tends to be a thing geeks like). Riding bikes works as well, even walking. And depending on your specifics of geography and neighborhood, that can be as simple as saying &quot;nope, I'm not giving you a ride in the car. You've got wheels, take the 'board&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chores is another angle - need a quart o'milk? Send him to the store. Sure, it'll take longer for him to walk, but you probably want the exercise more than the groceries anyway. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barring that, just get him out of the house. The classic &quot;go outside and play&quot; gambit still works today. Maybe they won't go play tag, but if they go for a walk that's a win too. Look for opportunities - if he's stuck on a problem, tell him to go for a walk around the neighborhood and think about it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of these tricks still work for me today as a grownup. I have no interest in sports, but I'll walk around town (or hills or whatnot) for hours mulling a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7157" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T16:42:44.507" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-03-28T18:12:37.033" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guess the core issue is you are unwilling to accept him failing. This allows him to manipulate you into taking over his responsibility to make healthy choices. However since they were your choices, not his, he feels no obligation to fulfill these choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not recommend an abrupt change*, since I suspect the son does not have the life skills right now to make good choices. Put together a plan to transfer responsibility to the son -- it should have specific goals &amp;amp; specific deadlines. I suggest starting with a minimum GPA &amp;amp; course load at school, and specific chores at home -- and his access to his favorite toys (typically car &amp;amp; phone) will be forfeit if not done. Review the plan with an outside adviser to ensure your plan has a good balance between increasing his responsibility level at a pace he can learn at and which has a minimum of coddling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will fail along the way. This needs to be acceptable to you! When it does happen give him emotional support, but let he must deal with the consequences. Along the way he'll learn to make good choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you all the best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;* &lt;em&gt;The exception is violence of any sort will not be tolerated. Any further incidents means he moves out, immediately (as in same day). You will give him a few months rent, and beyond that there will be no money provided.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7165" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T18:12:37.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11950" CreationDate="2014-03-28T18:33:14.637" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your daughter is simply working incomplete information -- she has analytical ability beyond her age, but the insufficient information to base her analysis on. Ask her questions -- a lot. &quot;Why do people need to pick a career&quot;, &quot;How long does it take to learn&quot;. This will help you understand where the knowledge gaps are so you can fill them in. Use information to help guide her analysis, when you can avoid challenging the analysis itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it is quite common for highly gifted children to be intensely self-critical, to the point where they will perform more poorly at a given task than an average child due to their self-image of a &quot;failure&quot;. It seems your daughter may have this trait also, and if so, I encourage you to frame her actions in a context of what effort did she give, regardless of the end result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7165" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T18:33:14.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4124" CreationDate="2014-03-28T20:12:10.057" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If one's younger sibling asks you to cheat, then your responsibility as an older sibling is to tell them no, and explain why cheating is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the older sibling is aiding the younger sibling in cheating, then the older is responsible for aiding the younger in avoiding consequences for not studying in classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older sibling's role would end when they said no, and informed their parents that the younger sibling probably needs help in his/her classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7169" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T20:12:10.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11967" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-28T20:33:20.397" Score="9" ViewCount="2288" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently changed medical insurance plans and switched to a new pediatrician. My wife is in nursing school and one of the things that's drilled into students is the importance of handwashing to avoid the spread of pathogens. Not surprisingly, she noticed that even though the examination room has a sink and hand-sanitizer dispensers, our new pediatrician doesn't use them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I pointed out to my wife that the doctor &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; wash his hands before coming into the room for some reason. He also comes highly recommended from friends and we like just about everything else about his office. But we really can't afford to risk our children getting exposed to more diseases than they already are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there some non-insulting way to ask a pediatrician to wash his hands just before examining our children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2018-03-11T17:22:43.473" Title="How can we confront our pediatrician about not washing his hands?" Tags="|health|hygiene|doctor|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-03-28T20:40:00.990" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Right now, your son doesn't have the life skills to succeed in the world, and you know that. That's why you can't tell him to leave. You know he'll be homeless on a street corner in a week, so what you need to do is get him ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cancel his credit card&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make him get his own prepay cell phone plan&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not pay for anything he wants&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drop him off at the psychologist, and return in an hour to pick him up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is leeching off of you, and he thinks he can just keep doing that for the rest of his life. You need to shut off the money flow. He'll feel the pressure, and try to get a job or aquire a way of getting funds. Also, you know he needs help, and as his parent, it's your responsibility to make sure he gets it, so drop him off at the psychologist, and pick him up in an hour. You can have the psychologist contact you if he doesn't go into the office, and express your disappointment. If he does go in, get dinner someplace you all like to incentivize him to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you implement these, you can start charging him for internet, rent, and anything else he can afford, and you can deny him. Eventually, it'll be cheaper and easier for him to live in an apartment, and he'll leave, with the skills to stay out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I recommend seeing a psychologist yourself. This can't be easy on you or your wife, and psychologists aren't just for people who have disorders. They're a great way to work through stress, and figure out positive ways to communicate with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7169" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T20:40:00.990" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2014-03-28T20:48:21.103" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main reason she's on Facebook and Tumblr is to interact with her friends. How often do you have people over, or take her to visit her friends? Have you started teaching her to drive? Does she have any extracurricular activities where she gets to see friends?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, complaining isn't going to improve her grades. Just make her associate you with annoying discussions about grades. Instead, talk to her about going to the tutoring center, or helping her with her homework every night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents used to ask me and my sister every night if we'd done our homework. Little things like showing you care in a non-criticizing way can help encourage her to do homework, even if she won't show it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7169" LastEditorUserId="7169" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T14:38:59.563" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T14:38:59.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11916" CreationDate="2014-03-28T20:59:17.787" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't seen any studies or research reports, but I can tell you that if you don't broach the subject fairly early and expose your child to different races and ethnicities from a young age, you may end up in a very embarrassing situation, as I did. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sons were about 3 and 2 when I divorced, got a job, and hired a maid service. On the first day of the maid service, I arranged to be home so that I could let them in, see if I felt comfortable with them, and see if their work was acceptable. We live in an ethnically diverse part of town, but there were not (at that time) very many African-Americans in our neighbourhood. So my sons had never seen very dark-skinned people before. One of the ladies who came to clean had very dark skin — that beautiful deep black that almost looks blue. My sons had also never seen me allow strangers into our home. So my oldest was very nervous and kept following the ladies around. Eventually, he comes to me and says in a typically loud 3-year-old's &quot;whisper&quot; (you know, the kind that can be heard a mile away?), &quot;Mommy! That blue lady went in your room! Mommy, what is she DOING in your bedroom?!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was MORTIFIED. It was at that moment that I realized that, while I have lots of friends of other races, my kids had never really met any of them because, hey, when I go out with the girls, I get a babysitter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I apologized profusely to the lady, who was very gracious about it and actually seemed to find it funny. But it was at that point that I started talking with my boys about people — all kinds of people — and trying to expose them to a more diverse sampling of society. I also started teaching them that we don't make personal comments about other people's appearances. No point in teaching them about other races and cultures if we don't also teach them to be polite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7044" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T20:59:17.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11967" CreationDate="2014-03-28T21:08:08.343" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would ask in a curious, not attacking way something like : &quot;Don't you need to use these?&quot; (pointing at the sanitizer) &quot;I always thought doctors offices were really picky about those...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6533" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T21:08:08.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11972" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="11973" CreationDate="2014-03-28T22:11:10.093" Score="6" ViewCount="2002" Body="&lt;p&gt;This isn't a question about what general incentives or methods of discipline work best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for techniques specific to transitions, like when it's time to stop playing and go somewhere, etc. The reason these seem like a bit of a special case is that the tantrum is reflecting a strong status quo bias - you can't really just gently reflect back the toddlers emotions and then ignore the tantrum, or give time, because that's exactly what they're tantruming to get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2021-09-01T23:56:52.910" LastActivityDate="2021-09-01T23:56:52.910" Title="What's an effective way to deal with toddler transition tantrums (&quot;I don't want to stop yet?&quot;)" Tags="|toddler|discipline|tantrums|transition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11972" CreationDate="2014-03-28T22:23:00.613" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key for us is using a timer.  We have a 'strong willed' almost-three year old, and he &lt;em&gt;hates&lt;/em&gt; transitions (unless there's a big reward or somesuch).  Big tantrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we began around 2 using a timer.  &quot;Okay, son, we're about done with X activity.  I'm setting a timer for 2 minutes; when it goes off, we're going to go [eat|sleep|do something boring].&quot;  Then, when the timer goes off, we show him the timer and point out the audible sound, and tell him it's now time to do [other thing] or stop doing [current fun thing].  He may still object, but he typically makes only a brief complaint at this point, and then does the next thing, even if it's something he doesn't care for, like bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It isn't a panacea, but it works most of the time, to the point that we no longer get tantrums much of the time when we do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; use the timer - instead, we get &quot;Timer please&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also try to offer some element of choice in [next thing], if it's available; for example, if the transition is to go to eat dinner, the choice might be the chair or the plate/bowl type.  In addition to that working in general for getting kids involved in things, it specifically is useful in transitions as it moves their focus from the previous activity to the new one in a positive/empowering way; it's sort of like saying to an adult reading a book, &quot;Hi, now that you're done with that chapter, would you like to eat at Subway or Wendy's?&quot;  You're presuming the shift and offering them a choice &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; the shift, which takes away much of the argument against the shift.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T22:23:00.613" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11967" CreationDate="2014-03-28T22:38:00.877" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, the doctor must wash his/her hands &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; entering the room, period.  The doctor opened the door with his hand, right?  That's a (major) point of contagion right there.  Unless you're in some futuristic practice with automatic doors, I would never excuse the doctor from not washing post-entering the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, unfortunately, doctor handwashing is a &lt;em&gt;major&lt;/em&gt; problem.  Major studies have repeatedly found very low wash rates (This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/eid/vol7no2/pittet.htmhttp://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/7/2/70-0234_article.htm&quot;&gt;Study&lt;/a&gt; found a 40%-50% rate, for example), and the problem is very difficult to address from a management perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a parent's perspective, the odds are you can't really effect change here.  That's not to say you shouldn't try; but I wouldn't presume it's likely to work.  Doctors are creatures of habit, and if they're not in the habit of hand washing, they probably won't easily become in that habit - especially if only a few patients mention it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can you do?  First, you should certainly mention it to the doctor the next time he comes in.  &quot;Hi, would you mind washing your hands before you examine my child?&quot;  Polite but matter of fact seems reasonable here.  It's a reasonable request, given it's your child's health, and as long as you're not critical or condescending about it, the doctor shouldn't take it wrong.  If that goes reasonably well (ie, the doctor doesn't object and does wash his hands), then continue that - each time.  It may simply be that the doctor isn't in the habit and appreciates the reminder.  If the doctor does take it badly, you may need to choose between a doctor with good hygiene and that doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also could wash &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; hands after the doctor comes in.  That might serve as a subtle reminder, after all.  If your child/children are old enough, you might encourage &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; to take an interest in this; doctors (particularly pediatricians) often are familiar with children who are a bit pushy about things around them (ie, most children) and could take it better from the child.  This particularly works if you have a child like mine who enjoys washing and hates being dirty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I would &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; address this with the practice administration or anyone other than the doctor.  While it's possible some volume of complaints might initiate a change this way, it's more likely to irritate the doctor, and doesn't seem likely to be successful if the more direct method wasn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-28T22:38:00.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11944" CreationDate="2014-03-28T23:02:46.230" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, imbalanced relationships do exist. The trick is to learn from the experience of those who have been there - which is the point of many children books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Some people keep on doing what makes others happy, no matter how much it is harmful. Others feel they do not like it. A person is always free to choose whether ending up spoiled and unappreciated is acceptable for him/her.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This both incentives self-determination (which is at the opposite of being at the &quot;weak side&quot; of an unbalanced relationship, and thus actively works against it) and judgement, which is a precious lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides that, my personal opinion is that offering unasked advice, not connected to a real-life episode, about how s/he should live his/her life, could be less effective in the long term, given that s/he's learning way more from the parent's character (a random example: the decision to accept openly or to minimize a patently sad story that the parent has come to know) - or be harmful, by teaching that his/her key figures have the right to tell him/her how s/he should live life - but that is besides the scope of question. I'm referring to an unbalanced relationship in a later period of the life; I do not mean to disrespect the OP or anyone in the world that identifies as a &quot;key figure&quot; in any way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7170" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-08-27T00:54:30.400" LastActivityDate="2014-08-27T00:54:30.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11950" CreationDate="2014-03-29T00:03:28.003" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would first try to find out what brought this on. It could be something trivial, like the teacher telling kids they'll talk about what they want to be, and other kids immediately chiming in with: &quot;a firefighter! a doctor! an astronaut!&quot; In other words, try to find out if the fear is really a deep anxiety about life in general, or a small anxiety about not knowing an answer to a question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question about a future occupation is a complex one, and you can help her come up with an answer. I would ask her what her friends want to be, and then I'd try to see if she likes some of those things better than others. If you compare alternatives two by two  (&quot;do you like doctor better than ballerina?&quot;), it's not so difficult for her to assess the options, and you can get a sense of an emerging pattern of her likes and dislikes. Then you can say something like: &quot;Well, it looks like you like being active, you like to create art and to read. Can you think of any professions where you would get to do some of this stuff?&quot; You can guide her to a pool of potential answers, until she picks a few she might like. But you can finish the conversation by saying that some people get to be what they wanted at age 4, but a lot of them change their mind while growing up. That way, she'll know that her choice isn't binding, i.e. that it's just a way to express current preferences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, at the end of all this, she still doesn't have a preference, then tell her this is also OK. It means she likes to be exactly what she is right now: a little girl! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2014-03-29T04:09:37.557" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T04:09:37.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11977" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-29T00:58:01.980" Score="5" ViewCount="561" Body="&lt;p&gt;We don't tend to drink much alcohol in our household; I occasionally drink a beer in the evening after the children are in bed or when my wife and I have a date night. So my preteen son doesn't have a ton of exposure to adult beverages besides the commercials on TV sporting events. My goal is to help my children form moderate attitudes toward drinking. To me, that means:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having a healthy respect for the potent dangers of drinking&amp;mdash;especially before reaching physical and mental maturity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having a non-judgmental attitude toward people who drink.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Judging from my own childhood, threading the needle between these two points of view is tricky. If you have managed to accomplish that feat, what did you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2014-07-29T15:40:00.823" Title="How can I explain &quot;adult beverages&quot; to my preteen?" Tags="|health|pre-teen|alcohol|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8257" CreationDate="2014-03-29T03:37:01.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The angel care monitor saved my coworkers babies life. I bought it for our daughter when she was born upon my friends advice. I highly recommend the monitor. We've had the warning beep go off about 3 times in 7 months and a full alarm once. The full alarm went off when my daughter was sleeping jammed up on the side of the the bed. She was perfectly fine but the monitor wasn't picking her movements up because of her position. The false alarms have been infrequent and not at all bothersome. The piece of mind is great. I think my daughter gets a better sleep because we aren't constantly bothering her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friend recommended the monitor after it saved his daughter's life. When she was a week old she came down with a cold. My friend and his wife were making dinner, his daughter was napping, it was early evening. The alarm went off. When he checked on her she was turning blue and completely unconscious. He started CPR. She had become overwhelmed with phlegm and stopped breathing. His baby made a full recovery and is now a bubbly 1.5 yr old. He says she would have died as she was napping at a normal nap time with in breathing issues at the time despite the cold. They wouldn't have known there was a problem without the monitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7175" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-03-29T04:31:29.043" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T04:31:29.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11977" CreationDate="2014-03-29T05:32:09.027" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a good question. Well, what I think is you should present 'drink' as a 'drink' and not addiction. A thick line should be drawn between what is drinking as a custom/fun and drinking as a habit. The difference between 'drinking' and 'binge drinking' &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may show both the sides of drinking - drinking as a custom that brings people together in any celebration or parties and binge drinking that makes a person toper resulting into weird behavior, isolation and top of all deadly health issues those are irreversible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only key making the preteen understand this is the difference between drinking as a part of culture/ritual/custom and drinking as a habit as a result of craving. Having this conveyed, he'll understand the nuance which actually makes a big difference in one's life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T05:32:09.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11967" CreationDate="2014-03-29T05:41:36.570" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Doctors certainly feel dejected if they are being drawn attention for their hygiene. Being a healthcare provider, I know this. That's because advising something about their profession (how to examine a baby &lt;strong&gt;does include&lt;/strong&gt; washing hands with sanitizer and that's what is &lt;strong&gt;taught&lt;/strong&gt; to all child specialists) is nothing less than advising fish how to swim. It's overreacting but it's the truth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, how you do that? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is one good way which won't put anyone (a doc and you) in humiliation. There should be a feedback/suggestion box. Write it down (anonymously) and just drop your suggestion. If the management is active enough (I hope it is!), it'll be conveyed in a very straightforward way. You &lt;strong&gt;asking&lt;/strong&gt; something to do and the management &lt;strong&gt;advising&lt;/strong&gt; to do it makes a lot of difference. Alternatively, you can also put an anonymous mail to the organization with polite words (no offense at all) starting with &lt;em&gt;In the interest of patients and organizations, we'd like to draw your attention to a trivial matter which could turn out to be a major health risk...&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and so on...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastEditorUserId="6101" LastEditDate="2014-03-29T06:18:48.080" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T06:18:48.080" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2014-03-29T14:17:45.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are lots of great answers here about alternative activities and I agree that those should be explored.  Just to provide a different perspective, I'm definitely a nerd and I love team sports, mostly because I get great exercise without thinking about all the running I'm doing :)  I can also geek out on basketball because I know it from all the angles and feed my inner math nerd with advanced stats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Team sports are still an option if he's willing, but it will require a little leg work on your part to find a team/coach where beginners are welcome.  I've coached a few &quot;everyone plays&quot; teams for the Y and other rec centers.  I had a 17-18 team with talent ranging from a future junior college player down to the kid who was terrified someone might pass to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience is that it's very disheartening at first to be the worst player on a team.  It's usually so bad that first week that you want to quit and never play again.  But if you can stick with it (I've heard a lot about grit lately), then it's very rewarding to transition from zero to hero.  On a team where you have to work harder to keep up, the transformation can be amazing.  I'd love for all my kids to have that experience, if only to teach the self-confidence that one needs when they're dropped in an overwhelming situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finding a coach and team where that can happen can be difficult.  I think interviewing prospective coaches is quite reasonable for a parent.  You also want to include your son in the conversation, the coach may wish him to commit to extra work, which might be more than he wants to sign up for.  Also keep in mind that many coaches are already sacrificing their time to coach the team and may not be willing or able to do more for your child - better to know that up front.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm against forcing kids into sports, but I also find that some are afraid to try without knowing why.  On my less competitive teams, I actively try to find the players that are withdrawn and see if I can get them engaged.  I'll freely admit that a few of my players didn't have fun playing for me and I'm not sure what else I could have done.  But when it works, it's pretty amazing to see a kid open up and take pride in their skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T14:17:45.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11984" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12047" CreationDate="2014-03-29T14:53:54.180" Score="5" ViewCount="659" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 6-years-old boy is very bright, intelligent and clever, but on the other hand he's very strong-minded and often like an absent-minded professor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problems:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he does not like other people to teach or &quot;instruct&quot; him something, he often seems to block if someone tries to explain and teach him something, especially if he is not able to do it himself instantly&lt;br&gt;&#xA;so he does want to master things, but does not want to learn something with an effort&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he gets easily distracted from what he originally wanted to do - he stumbles upon other things and tends to &quot;dawdling&quot;, even if he should prepare for something he absolutely wants (like visiting his favorite friend/playmate)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;finally, if he does not want to do something (or does want to do it differently), he starts and endless discussion, blocks everything and this is very tiring and annoying for other people - often those who want to show/teach him something, see point 1. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He wears people off with this behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can his parents help him to understand, that those behaviors tend to push off other people - even those who like him and want to help him - and risk to isolate him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-11-25T19:52:21.127" LastActivityDate="2015-11-25T19:52:21.127" Title="6yo wears down people by dawdling and endless discussions - how can parents help?" Tags="|behavior|communication|focus|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11967" CreationDate="2014-03-29T19:37:25.447" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say, in a clear firm tone &quot;please can you wash your hands before continuing?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I wanted to be delicate I would say &quot;Sorry, but I didn't see you wash your hands.  Would you mind doing so before you continue? Thanks.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In England it is always acceptable to remind clinicians about hand hygiene and patients are encouraged to do so.  I would raise a complaint about anyone reacting negatively to my request for hand hygiene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had to mention this to a few clinicians but they have always been fine with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T19:37:25.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11944" CreationDate="2014-03-29T20:24:14.670" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The Giving Tree, like any creative fiction, is open to interpretation. That's the beauty of it. People have interpreted it as you did, and even as satire--not a children's book at all. Some think the tree is God. You see what I mean?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your son enjoys it, but you're looking for someone to refute your own adult interpretation of it. The problem with that is--there is no &quot;correct&quot; interpretation. Let your son (and your younger self) enjoy the book, and let it be the subjective, experiental thing it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T20:24:14.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11972" CreationDate="2014-03-29T20:30:05.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For us with an almost-four-year-old, giving a time limit helps. &quot;We can do this for two more minutes, then we're going to do x. Okay?&quot; And get them to acknowledge that, if possible. Then, a &quot;one minute&quot; warning. Then, we ask &quot;Okay, time to do x. What do we have to do to do that?&quot; And encourage them to explain the steps )&quot;Put our shoes on?&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly, we just try to be patient but firm. Transitions are tough, and they're learning. There aren't any global solutions, because each child is so different. The best techniques (for us) involve making the transition as least surprising as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastEditorUserId="7182" LastEditDate="2014-03-30T16:05:42.233" LastActivityDate="2014-03-30T16:05:42.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2014-03-29T21:01:44.117" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use the clippers (buy a fairly good set - like Wahl - as dull clippers hurt!) and have since my kids were ~12 months (both boys).  It's pretty easy to do, and pretty quick, and it looks decent as long as you pay some attention to leaving some parts shorter/longer appropriately (I follow the directions that came with the clippers).  They sit quietly for me more so than for a professional (as I found out the one time I used one).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To keep the kids happy, I give them something like a cheese stick or a piece of fruit to hold and eat while I am doing it, and I let them play with the clippers (they're fairly safe if you are right there - just keep the guards on).  Both of them had also played with my (electric) facial razor before, so that helped them be familiar with the noise and vibrations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T21:01:44.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11944" CreationDate="2014-03-29T21:17:59.203" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I felt the same way as you did on reading it.  My children loved 'Where the Sidewalk Ends' and Silverstein's other books, but I was appalled by The Giving Tree.  I honestly cannot see how you can teach that the child should just continue to take and disregard the other person completely.  This is diametrically opposed to what I tried to teach my children, even when they were very young.  Don't we teach them to thank their grandparents for gifts, and encourage them to reciprocate, even as toddlers? I never read it to my children.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7183" LastActivityDate="2014-03-29T21:17:59.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11972" CreationDate="2014-03-30T06:24:50.960" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We try to approach our transitions as intentionally and with as much advanced planning as possible, because they are tough, as you mentioned.  We start with the following strategy:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make our child aware there will be an upcoming transition to do something else (eat, sleep, get in the car, etc), and explain why the next thing is important and what will be going on there&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We ask our child to choose to do a &quot;last thing&quot; -- one more puzzle, one more slide, one more game, etc, so they feel like they have &quot;completed&quot; the thing they are currently doing&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As we are leaving we ask our child to say goodbye and see you later (if appropriate) to the friend, playground, toy, etc, as a parting ritual. This also involves hugs, kisses, etc, if friends or family.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our overall strategy is to be very explicit and help make the transition with understanding and practices/activities that help with separation and expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7177" LastActivityDate="2014-03-30T06:24:50.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4980" CreationDate="2014-03-30T08:22:54.273" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents let me taste in front of them once and I did not like the taste. So, I never stole alcohol from an easily accessible and always open cabinet. I never really felt the need for it. Moreover, I like to be alert and in control of my senses all the time. But that is just me. Many kids end up liking it and some get into serious problems because of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you allow the kids to taste it in front of you when they are like 16, even if your religion does not permit it. Hopefully, they won't satisfy their curiosity in a situation where you cannot guide them and there is a great chance of things going bad - frat houses for example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show them (especially to girls) plenty of examples of the effects of over indulgence, alcohol abuse and lack of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try to raise them to be strong and resistant to peer pressure. Sometimes kids just drink to &quot;fit in&quot;. With the right parenting, they all can turn out okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorUserId="7381" LastEditDate="2014-04-19T17:02:36.637" LastActivityDate="2014-04-19T17:02:36.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11944" CreationDate="2014-03-30T13:04:55.350" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this book describes the relationship &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;between mother nature and humans&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, and quite accurately too.  We use the earth in exactly that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We mine oil, harvest lumber, drive cars, just use, use, use, often without giving the source a second thought.  And the earth simply allows us to take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not think it models &lt;strong&gt;human-human&lt;/strong&gt; relationships at all, and if you look at it that way, you will see a very unhealthy/parasitic relationship indeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7186" LastActivityDate="2014-03-30T13:04:55.350" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2026" CreationDate="2014-03-30T22:25:17.473" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did it this way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;once done with bath/shower, we used to put her sitting on the washing machine (where we usually change her). One of us would talk to her, non-stop, and the other one would go about the business of cutting her hair telling her to be still: she was 16 to 24 months old at the time. We used to use very small and non-pointy scissors, to reduce risks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has produced some very funny looks, but also great results and she used to be (still is) quite proud of her dad being her hairdresser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately we just ask her (she's 3) if she wants her hair trimmed and if &quot;yes&quot; I do that, quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some times we found the need to have another bath or simply a quick shower to remove hair (usually short) that we didn't catch when cutting. Not to say: wasn't funny for us, but surely two baths for our daughter (albeit the second being very quick) was cause of great joy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3939" LastActivityDate="2014-03-30T22:25:17.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11984" CreationDate="2014-03-30T23:55:17.813" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The primary motivator for many children is attention. If the behaviors he is exhibiting are getting attention from you and others, you might try removing that incentive. This will take much discipline on your part, but if you can stick to your guns, you might be able to shift his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He wants to learn something but doesn't want to put in the effort to listen to instruction: As soon as he blocks you, say (in a kind voice), &quot;You aren't listening; you must not need my help.&quot; Then walk away - remove your attention. He may persist in trying to figure it out on his own, he may get angry with frustration, he may yell at you from the other room - just ignore. If he wants your help to learn, he must ask: &quot;Will you help me figure this out?&quot; If he asks, you happily assist until he starts behaving objectionably, at which point you say, &quot;You aren't listening; you must not need my help.&quot; Then walk away. Do this enough times and he will learn.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He dawdles and fails to get ready for something: If you are trailing after him, urging him to get ready, you are rewarding bad behavior with your attention. Let him face the consequences of not getting ready - Tell him that if he isn't ready when the timer goes, he can't go see his friend today. The first few times you do this, he will probably tantrum - you must stay calm. Just keep repeating, &quot;If you are ready when the timer goes, we can go and see your friend.&quot; This is a bit trickier for things like school, but a good teacher will work with you on this, letting him face the consequences of being late to school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He wears you down with conversation designed to avoid:  don't engage! Learn the broken record technique of repeating the same thing no matter what he says. Maybe you say something like, &quot;I have made my decision already.&quot; He says, &quot;But blah-blah-blah,&quot; and you repeat, &quot;I have made my decision already.&quot;  Don't be worn down by his attempts, and try to stay calm. Kids will not keep arguing with a broken record that always repeats the same thing. They have nothing to gain.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given his short attention span, talking to your son about how his behaviors make people feel will probably not have much affect. You might try telling him how &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; feel at some point after the bad behavior has ceased: &quot;This afternoon when I was trying to help you and you kept interrupting, it hurt my feelings. I liked it much better when you came and asked for help and then listened.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes HUGE determination on the parent's part to stay calm and not be worn down by behaviors that are designed to do just that, but it is SO worth the effort. Not only will you have a more pleasant relationship with your child, you will teach him an important social skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-03-30T23:55:17.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11984" CreationDate="2014-03-31T02:10:09.210" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How can his parents help him to understand, that those behaviors tend to push off other people...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you want him to understand, on an intellectual level, that these behaviors push off other people? Or do you want him to stop those behaviors?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The former is a challenge for six-year-olds, and does not reliably lead to the latter. (Think of all the &lt;em&gt;adults&lt;/em&gt; who do things that they know, intellectually, harm themselves or other people.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6471" LastActivityDate="2014-03-31T02:10:09.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11977" CreationDate="2014-03-31T08:18:38.107" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about it until it comes up. Lots of people, especially people who don't drink or who don't drink much, feel they have to 'normalize' alcohol to their children. But many, many people don't drink. Although some aspects of adult society make us think we have to justify the decision not to drink. in fact there is no justification needed for not doing something, only for doing something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is perfectly fine for your child to grow up assuming that not drinking is a norm, just the same as vegetarian children don't need to be 'exposed' to meat. I guarantee that before your child is of an age to drink, they will have witnessed at least one occasion of adults drinking in a 'normal', social way, and at least one occasion of dangerous, reckless or irresponsible drinking. When these happen, they will ask you, and you can tell them about alcohol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5000" LastActivityDate="2014-03-31T08:18:38.107" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="11999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1409" CreationDate="2014-03-31T09:16:12.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's important to distinguish lactose intolerance from dairy allergy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lactose intolerance occurs when the body loses the ability to digest lactose.  Someone with lactose intolerance can consume lactose-free dairy products (including hard cheeses) without trouble; lactose-containing dairy products will cause gastrointestinal upset, but no other problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, a person with dairy allergy will be unable to consume dairy products at all.  The symptoms of dairy allergy are typical allergy symptoms, ranging from rash or itchy mouth to anaphylactic shock.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lactose intolerance in young children is rare.  Among populations where lactose intolerance is normal, it develops around the ages of five to seven years; among Europeans and other groups where dairy products are historically a large part of the diet, it develops in adulthood if at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6912" LastActivityDate="2014-03-31T09:16:12.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-03-31T15:17:15.560" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of these are slightly tongue-in-cheek but I suspect the essence of your problem is that he just doesn't want to leave because he is comfortable at home. So - obviously - you must make staying less attractive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pick any or all of the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stop feeding him - let him get his own meals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy food he doesn't like - in case he decides not to buy his own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stop cleaning house - he will very quickly stop bringing friends home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not wash his clothes or dishes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prop your bedroom door open at night - this one worked like a charm for us. :)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wander around the house naked - almost as good as the bedroom door trick.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take a holiday without him - leave almost no food in the fridge/larder and definitely leave no alcohol.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that this must not be allowed to break your friendships. You are aiming for him to leave but to still remain friends. You must be kind, considerate and supportive of all of his ideas but you must remain firm in your conviction to run your own life in your own way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he makes demands such as that you clean-house, explain that this is how you want your house to be right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3469" LastEditorUserId="3469" LastEditDate="2014-03-31T15:23:21.857" LastActivityDate="2014-03-31T15:23:21.857" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12002" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12003" CreationDate="2014-03-31T15:32:30.143" Score="4" ViewCount="1214" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm due later this year and after I return to work from maternity leave I will get a nanny.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to watch nanny and baby while at work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I shall certainly tell the nanny before hire that she and the baby are being watched, but I am puzzled about whether the camera should be in plain site, or if it should be hidden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the camera is in plain site isn't it possible for nanny to be hiding something away from the camera?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I would like to know the best places to keep this camera.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suddenly became a single mother. This is my first child, so all this is new to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only moral support I have is my elderly father who I live with and my aunt who lives in a different state but has a busy family of her own, and of course the Hand of God.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6914" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-04-01T12:08:21.207" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T18:21:04.117" Title="How to tell prospective nanny about camera monitoring" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12002" CreationDate="2014-03-31T16:06:12.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main issue here is one of trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you can trust the nanny, the camera is a tool for you &lt;strong&gt;and for her&lt;/strong&gt;. It allows you to still be in contact and be reassured, and it gives her a way to contact you and keep you up to date throughout the day. It's basically a hi-tech version of the &quot;photo diaries&quot; our childminder keeps. Note that if she doesn't feel comfortable with a camera, even with this explanation, &lt;strong&gt;you cannot use it&lt;/strong&gt;. I'm not sure if it's actually a criminal offence to video someone when they've specifically said no, but it's at the very least incredibly unethical.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you can't trust the nanny, &lt;strong&gt;either don't tell her about the camera, or don't use the camera&lt;/strong&gt;. As you've said, a monitoring device is of no use if you know exactly where it is. All it will tell you is if she's struggling. I'd say &quot;don't leave your child with her&quot;, but you have to leave your kids with &lt;em&gt;someone&lt;/em&gt;, so I'd suggest just monitoring how happy they are, what information they bring home etc. (UK law requires that any childminder now produce weekly reports on what your kids did and have specific policies on stuff like food, trips, bullying, etc; but even a couple of digital photos a month of your child playing go a long way to reassuring you)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Informing someone you're expecting to give your child their full attention that they're being covertly watched at all times is counter-productive. Rather than focusing on what your child needs, they'll focus on what you'll think of what you're seeing, which is not the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the truth: &lt;strong&gt;What they do with your child while you are not there is not in your control&lt;/strong&gt;. As an example, if your child falls over and scrapes their knee, that is a thing that happens. Having them immediately panic about whether the camera picked it up and how you reacted rather than taking care of the boo-boo is counter-productive. What you can control is whether your child is in their care, and what you can check is how your child is around the nanny, and &lt;strong&gt;whether both the child and the nanny are content or not when you come home&lt;/strong&gt; (stressed nanny is as much a warning sign as stressed baby, if not more). That's the most important thing, and it's far more useful to observe that than using a webcam.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-03-31T20:34:23.283" LastActivityDate="2014-03-31T20:34:23.283" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12004" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-03-31T21:35:46.910" Score="6" ViewCount="333" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old son was having some trouble concentrating in class and it was recommended that we see a behavioural optometrist. A standard optical test showed his eyes were not perfect but within normal range for his age. The optometrist then ran some further tests with some special glasses that showed his brain was struggling to process the visual signal - thus causing tiredness and lack of concentration. To aid this, we got a pair of mild prescription glasses that he now wears in class and when doing his homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My feeling is that this has helped. He now reads longer and more accurately at home. However, since then I've come across articles &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/14/magazine/14vision-t.html?pagewanted=all&amp;amp;_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; and I'm wondering if this is just wishful thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone had any practical experience with behavioural optometry and has it helped in your case? I understand that there is a dearth of peer reviewed scientific research, so I'm happy with personal experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Extra information:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took my other child to a normal optometrist today just for a routine check-up. During the tests, I noticed her running the same tests as the behavioural optometrist; she said she was testing for eye divergence. I then related the story of my son and asked for the validity of the assessment. She said that mild prescription glasses is a valid course of action and would his reduce eye strain since they so not have to work so hard to counter his eye divergence. In the short chat we had she supported behavioural optometry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2014-04-11T01:01:13.787" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T01:01:13.787" Title="Is behavioural optometry a real thing?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11944" CreationDate="2014-04-01T02:27:18.963" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there's an exceptionally healthy way to interpret it if you frame it as there being many ways you can appreciate something and many very different ways you can help. The tree serves very different purposes for the boy depending on each of their life stages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly the eventual complete harvesting can be viewed problematically, but that doesn't have to be your focus and I'm comfortable with some books portraying characters not making the best possible choices. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, for example - Alexander is kind of a pain and causes a lot of his own problems. Sometimes we may focus with our kiddos on the &quot;everyone has a bad day sometimes&quot; message and gloss over Alexander's misdeeds. Maybe other times - and other developmental stages - we might bring up whether maybe Alexander is causing his own problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Giving Tree has that same opportunity, I think. Maybe kiddo will sometimes be in a position to hear that perhaps the man could have found other materials so other people could keep enjoying those apples. Other times the many ways to help might be the message. While the tree is eventually completely consumed, this is a fable with a sentient tree that views its purpose as to serve mankind in everything. If we can give stories a pass for maybe implying that kids should make out with hopping amphibians I think we have to allow for a tree that can be happy it was cut down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T02:27:18.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11949" CreationDate="2014-04-01T06:08:50.573" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you educate your daughter about &lt;em&gt;good touch&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;bad touch&lt;/em&gt;. For example, if someone touches her on her private areas (explaining what her private areas consist of), then it's &lt;em&gt;bad touch&lt;/em&gt; and she needs to inform her mom or dad asap, no matter who the person is. You can tell her that rape is a very, very bad touch in which people get hurt. This can happen to boys as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2017-08-05T21:14:39.280" LastActivityDate="2017-08-05T21:14:39.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12010" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12013" CreationDate="2014-04-01T12:13:37.960" Score="3" ViewCount="5819" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our apartment has 2 floors and a wooden staircase between the floors and we are planning to install a gate to prevent the baby to fall down the stairs in an unobserved moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it however also necessary to install a gate downstairs? Is it realistic to assume that a baby might climb up several stairs and hurt itself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7212" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T13:19:07.357" Title="Preventing toddler from climbing up the stairs?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12010" CreationDate="2014-04-01T12:16:45.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did.  We have 15 oak stairs and our adventurous son had no compunctions about climbing all the way to the gate at the top and bouncing up and down on it. Save yourself the gray hairs and throw a gate at the bottom.  As he gets older and more conversant with his motor skills you can remove it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T12:16:45.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12010" CreationDate="2014-04-01T14:19:39.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1y little girl began climbing the stair when she learnt to crawl. When she learnt to walk, she began going upstairs in a mix of crawling/walking. She can goes all the way up, about 16 steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When taught her to just climb the first and then sit on it, be it to eat, drink or play with something. She only tries to climb further when someone goes upstairs in front of her. So far it has worked, so we're not planning to put a gate there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T14:19:39.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12010" CreationDate="2014-04-01T15:41:09.773" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're worried your baby might fall on the stairs, then yes--definitely. Our daughter began climbing things (stairs, bookcases, etc.) at around eight months; we installed a gate at both ends of the stairs, to block them when we were on either floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each baby's different, but eventually they &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; climb. It's all part of learning to walk. It's good to let them try, though, while you're there to catch them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T15:41:09.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12002" CreationDate="2014-04-01T15:45:22.373" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want a camera, just be honest with the nanny, and put the camera wherever it seems appropriate. If you feel you can't trust the nanny with a visible camera, however, then think carefully about whether you're able to trust a nanny at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help with your fears, get a qualified nanny that comes with some references (call them), a background check, and talk frankly and openly with them when you meet. It's a relationship, and an important one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I disagree with the commenter above when they say &quot;If you can't trust the nanny, either don't tell her about the camera, or don't use the camera.&quot; It's common sense that &lt;strong&gt;if you can't trust the nanny, DO NOT hire them&lt;/strong&gt;. Why would you hire someone you don't trust to care for your children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastEditorUserId="7182" LastEditDate="2014-04-01T18:21:04.117" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T18:21:04.117" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12015" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-01T18:47:55.973" Score="3" ViewCount="165" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it normal for an Eight month infant female to not yet control her body and fall over if no support is given? She can sit for few seconds(10-20) but it seems she does not like sitting much and just falls over purposely. And hence cant leave her in the sitting position without supervision. She gets stiff and prefers to stand with full support rather then sit with the partial support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-04-02T07:07:43.890" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T18:09:22.177" Title="Eight month infant not sitting on her own in full control" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12017" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-01T21:17:47.753" Score="27" ViewCount="1404" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love my children very much, but I sometimes I have to teach them a lesson. I'm afraid if I always allow them to win them, they'll turn out to be spoiled and rotten and have a sense of entitlement when they grow up. But if I beat them too often, I'm afraid they'll have low self-esteem and not very much self-confidence. Ultimately, I feel that beating them is very important and that it teaches character. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a similar question, this &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4122/7036&quot;&gt;answer&lt;/a&gt; suggests:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;If you're playing a game where you win more than 50% of the time, it's not actually a fair game. You have every advantage, because he's FOUR. Effectively, you should be handicapping yourself down to the level where you're struggling to win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I like the idea of handicapping myself, I'm still concerned about the win/loss ratio. If I start losing too much, they will miss out on learning about good sportsmanship and may fall victim to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dunning-Kruger effect&lt;/a&gt; later in life. If I win too much, they won't want to play anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is a good ratio for winning and losing games? Or am I thinking about all of this the wrong way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7036" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T15:09:54.723" Title="How often should I defeat my children in games?" Tags="|development|education|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2014-04-01T23:22:46.200" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have dealt with this fear as a babysitter and this always works. Kids never cry when I wash their hair. First get or make some bath puppets. Puppets make a great distraction and kids would rather have the puppets washing a rinsing their hair. Buy a unbreakable mirror. At lunch or anytime way before bathtime show your son the puppets have them talk to him about having fun in the tub and allow him to play with them a bit. Tell your son you understand why he doesn't like to wash his hair. Tell him you know a way to keep soap and water out of his face that is fun. Tell him that you will use a puppet to wet his hair. He gets to make coyote calls. Demonstrate how. Tell him this will make all the water and soap stay out of his face. Also tell him you will be making him soapy animal ears and have him pick out what kind he wants eg cat, dog,. Tell him you can looka at them in the mirror. Have fun! You can do animal ears, puppets, coyote calls, and toys in 20 minutes or less and no screams&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7215" LastActivityDate="2014-04-01T23:22:46.200" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12017" CreationDate="2014-04-02T02:37:12.957" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe this question, the related question, and all the answers I have read are missing the point a game ought to have.  Where the game is not almost exclusively chance (those that are, are irrelevant to the question at hand), the point really is not if one wins or loses -- the point is to learn strategies.  The type of strategy is dependent upon the nature of the game, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 14 now.  I have not once in her entire life &lt;strong&gt;let&lt;/strong&gt; her win a single game.  I have, however, tried to educate her about the nature of performing better at each particular game.  Sometimes it was in the form of questions (e.g. &quot;Oh, why did you do that?&quot; ... &quot;Hmm... I can see why that seems good, but did you notice...?&quot;) while other times it was in the form of laying my cards on the table (e.g. &quot;So, I am thinking that if I do ... then it'll be harder for anyone [importantly, not naming her] to do ... and will help me.)  My personal preference is to make any educational component indirect or else the game will seem less game like and more like a classroom, defeating the &quot;point from her perspective.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the other answers which show a balance in being a good winner and a good non-winner, this method serves to educate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To my supreme delight, her creative mind has very often come up with quite ingenious alternative methods... some of which do very well and others demonstrate why they are not the best choice.  The consequence of such thinking is that &quot;the box&quot; is not her confinement -- her imagination is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider also, as appropriate, online games where you and your child can form a team against AI opponents.  This allows you to brainstorm strategies and see how well they perform without competition between you and your child.  My daughter prefers this over her-vs-I at this time in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Win or lose, did we learn anything useful?  Is that not what the conclusion to any game of strategy should be... a question about personal growth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side Note: Since the game is about learning, imo, I &lt;strong&gt;have&lt;/strong&gt; let her change a move after chatting with her about it... enforcing the game rules is not the point.  If she understands the consequences and chooses an alternative, why not let her make a change?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Final Side Note: Yes, she has won games with me on her own merit and was elated, chatting about it for days -- she trusted that I didn't let her win, but that she earned it, and that made the &quot;win&quot; all that much better.  Not only was she elated, but I was proud to see her do so well!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T02:37:12.957" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12004" CreationDate="2014-04-02T02:56:35.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A standard optical test showed his eyes were not perfect but within normal range for his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;special glasses that showed his brain was struggling&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I am most definitely &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; a doctor, I believe a little logic is apropos in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can glasses see the brain?  See that it is &quot;struggling&quot;?  If you peer into the eye, go beyond the back of it, you find a cord that moves on out from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reverse the case and show someone something an average person would be able to interpret and find that they don't interpret it the same without any glasses, and I can see an argument for visual impairment -- it's essentially the definition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting &quot;special glasses&quot; on for the second scenario... how does that help?  If I augment or impair your vision, how can I tell anything about your brain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, moving on.  My daughter has glasses.  I do not.  I was quite shocked to learn during her last eye appointment (her first with me as her mother and I are no longer together), that her glasses do not make her see the same as me.  Glasses, apparently, do not restore perfect vision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, all that blathering aside, I see really that you have 3 choices:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I question a doctor's advice, I seek the advice of a different doctor.  Two of them say the same, then I assume that even if a third said something different, 2/3 are saying the same thing, lol.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If there is not sufficient research into a new area and you are willing to accept any potential consequences, then go with your educated gut.  I'd advise, though, to be willing to change your view at any time and if you have the slightest concern whatsoever, that you seek an evaluation for your child -- I deplore taking risks with my daughter's life as I am sure you do, too, for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If glasses at the level you are providing help and you see no need to pursue additional alternatives, then you can accept that (maybe they &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; help) and go with what works.  Just know that you should still consult with an optometrist regarding this method because wearing glasses you really shouldn't can also damage your eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final note: No doctor in my opinion will ever be able to replace the same care you have for your child because yours stems from a love which is beyond words.  Do what you know &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; feel is right, knowing you have only one goal in mind: your child's long term success and health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T02:56:35.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12010" CreationDate="2014-04-02T13:19:07.357" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One anecdote. A good friend of mine was brain surgeon on Boston Children's Hospital. He would go ballistic every time he saw gates at the top of the stairs. The number one reason for brain surgery on small kids that he saw was kids climbing the gate at the top and then falling down the stairs from a high vantage point head first. This was much much more of a problem than kids falling down un-gated stairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach: no gates. As baby and toddler they were often lying on a futon in the living room and whenever they got to the edge the would simply plob down to the carpet (maybe an 6&quot;-8&quot; fall). The quickly learned how this works and even as very young toddlers would automatically turn around and go butt first for any stairs or steps they see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On our stairs we had some carpet on the steps and a big fluffy rug at the bottom. I'm quite sure they all fell or slipped at some point but it was completely harmless. For a while one of there favorite game was to slide down on the stairs on their bums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T13:19:07.357" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12017" CreationDate="2014-04-02T16:28:35.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Games are for &lt;em&gt;fun&lt;/em&gt;, first and foremost. Kids don't need more lessons, they need more of your love and time. Let the lessons arise naturally. If you're most concerned about the winning and losing, then perhaps you've got a lesson to learn first, before trying to teach your children one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at different ages, games can be played different ways. For a small child--say, younger than seven or eight--just have fun. Stop trying to make everything a &quot;character&quot; lesson, because you'll fail, and miss the point entirely. For older kids, just play, and let the outcome happen! But: if the group isn't having fun, &lt;em&gt;stop playing the game&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T16:28:35.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4108" CreationDate="2014-04-02T16:30:27.350" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stop focusing on winning and losing. Help him to do that, too. If that's your (and his) focus, then you're both missing the point of the game, which is to have fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T16:30:27.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12015" CreationDate="2014-04-02T18:09:22.177" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's what I know for sure: every child progresses through physical development differently. Our daughter didn't walk until 15 months; some kids are walking unassisted at 9 months. Some kids skip cruising altogether and go from crawling to walking. There are many factors in development, and most of them are not &quot;problems&quot;, just differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help you feel less worried, I recommend you call/visit your pediatrician, and tell them your concern. They're used to these sorts of questions, and see hundreds of kids each year. It'll help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T18:09:22.177" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12026" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-02T18:19:05.977" Score="2" ViewCount="156" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there some instructions which help in making nutritive homemade baby food for infant in the 8 months to 1 year range? Also such a preparation should ideally be easy to store and feed the infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-20T15:38:39.043" LastActivityDate="2018-10-20T15:38:39.043" Title="Best homemade nutritional babyfood for an infant in the 8 months to 1 year range?" Tags="|infant|nutrition|babyfood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12026" CreationDate="2014-04-02T19:53:48.557" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to boil a week's worth of various fruits and vegetables (no added salt), puree them individually, set a bit aside for the weekend, pour them in ice cube trays and put them in the freezer. Then we'd take them out as needed every weekday morning and add some oil, put it in a jar to defrost by lunchtime at daycare where they'd warm it up and feed it to the kid. One tray was designated for new kinds of food, so we could follow how much of those he's getting in case of allergic reactions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also fed him fresh food, such as spoonfuls of soft avocado or banana, or bits of bread, mashed potatoes, baby cereals, mashed beans, eggs, pureed meat. We were following the pediatrician's suggestions in not adding salt but adding a bit of oil to the veggies. But oil doesn't freeze well, hence the addition only after defrosting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age, we only ever gave him store-bought baby food once, when travelling. He promptly spit it out and then continued to rub his tongue on every surface he could find until it was all gone. Lots of the surface was my shoulder and hair. Never again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2014-04-02T20:00:04.367" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T20:00:04.367" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11672" CreationDate="2014-04-02T21:50:46.383" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a fast speaker growing up (still am) and was constantly reminded to slow down. It never really helped.  Then at some point I was given the advice to remember to breathe. That did the trick. I found that focusing on remembering to breathe forces you to take pauses which naturally regulates your pace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7218" LastActivityDate="2014-04-02T21:50:46.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12030" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12031" CreationDate="2014-04-03T01:47:23.943" Score="11" ViewCount="45133" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter choked on mango one month into baby-led weaning (and yes, I do mean choked: reddening, wide-eyed, silent).  We banged the mango out and she was fine.  I however, am far from fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been sliding back into purees since.  She feeds herself (pincer or spoon), but the food is still chunky, over-the-counter puree; soft lumps like rice or grits; or baby fingernail size bits like cheese.  I have been unable to get passed this fear of a choking encore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am frustrated trying to find support for my particular case.  The &quot;official&quot; BLW sites go on at length about the difference between choking and gagging, so it's hard to separate good information on &quot;how to prevent choking by appropriate sizing&quot; from all the noise of &quot;that's NOT choking&quot;.  Seriously people, &lt;em&gt;if you can hear it, don't fear it&lt;/em&gt;.  You will &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; choke face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here's the deal. 11 month old, who has choked once, who &lt;em&gt;still has &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt; teeth&lt;/em&gt;, who shoves as much as she can in at once.  Exactly what shape and consistency should &quot;sticks&quot; or &quot;pieces&quot; be?  Can I get concrete examples of banana, avocado, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_gourds_and_squashes&quot;&gt;gourds&lt;/a&gt;, chicken, and any other foods you think would be good?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7219" LastEditorUserId="7219" LastEditDate="2014-04-03T16:10:25.293" LastActivityDate="2021-04-29T19:47:18.967" Title="Restarting baby-led weaning after an actual choking" Tags="|baby-led-weaning|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12030" CreationDate="2014-04-03T04:01:02.850" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds like my one year old.  He has a few teeth - 4 of them - but really doesn't make much use of them; incisors aren't that helpful at proper chewing (and he only got the bottom two a month or two ago).  He's been shoving food into his face since he was 4 months old, never liked purees.  Definitely have had a bunch of choking incidents, although all but one were quickly handled by him (undoubtedly some were 'gagging', but some were definitely choking).  The one that we had to help with wasn't too bad, I think a piece of chicken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking to the psychological factor, I don't really have a good suggestion; you may have to just figure it out yourself with some time.  You're a good parent, you were watching very carefully, and you took care of business.  If it happens again, you'll do the same.  Your baby will learn how to handle solid foods, but the only way she'll learn is by having them and working it out.  On the other hand, if you delay things a few weeks, she's not going to be any worse for the wear (as long as it's not several months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of strategies for the baby, I recommend limiting the amount of food on her plate/tray.  Sometimes our youngest does the same thing - overstuffs his face - and we generally remove his food from his tray at that point until he slows down, and then add a bit back at a time.  You also could introduce the fork, if you haven't yet; our 12 month old can use a fork more-or-less, and really enjoys it.  It serves the dual purpose of taking food to the mouth AND limiting how much can go up at once - especially if you let her feed herself with it rather than helping too much.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Foodwise, the foods you listed sound good (except for gourd, I don't know that I know what that is like).  Banana and avocado are excellent, good sources of nutrition both (particularly avocado).  I would give relatively large pieces of either; as long as the banana is pretty ripe, she can probably have that whole, and treat it like a lollipop; or if it's easier, cut it in half lengthwise.  Avocado we usually slice in thin strips, sort of the size of sliced chicken breast on a chicken caesar salad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meats we try to cook in a way that they end up moist and fall apart tender.  Braised beef or chicken is probably best, or a pot roast cooked in its juice.  Chicken also can be poached at length.  In any of those dishes, the meat should end up so tender that you can cut it with a fork, and it turns stringy.  Cut it into one inch or so lengths, and use the fork to break it up some.  Hamburger works very well - cut it up finely with a fork, make sure it's not overcooked.  Crumble is what your'e aiming for.  Lunchmeats also work pretty well (she's old enough now not to worry too much about listeria); one inch squares are probably about right if it's thin-sliced or shaved, just don't let it get too piled up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breads are also good options.  Slice them with no crust if the crust is hard (otherwise don't worry) into long strips.  If needed, give one at a time.  Bread is very easily gummed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things that might work if supervised, and might especially work when she does teethe, are vegetables, whole or in large slices.  Cucumber for example, if you can get a mini-cucumber like Costco around us carries, are great - they are teething helpers AND they eventually fall apart into mush rather than being a chocking risk.  Whole carrots or whole celery, same.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-03T04:01:02.850" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12026" CreationDate="2014-04-03T04:24:49.360" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;By 8 months to 1 year, we were feeding both of our children what we ate - no difference.  Obviously if you haven't gone through very many foods yet (and thus have allergy concerns), limit this to what you've tried already; we started solids around 4 months so by 8 months had hit all of the high notes there.  What's nutritious for you is also nutritious for the baby.  Make sure the baby is getting enough iron and vitamin D; perhaps consider supplements if you're not sure.  Check with your pediatrician for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the baby doesn't have teeth, you can use the food processor to partially puree complex foods (say, a lasagna).  Otherwise small pieces should be okay of softer foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-03T04:24:49.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12033" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12184" CreationDate="2014-04-03T06:54:11.213" Score="7" ViewCount="57856" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many visual stimulation videos on youtube which most infants would love to stare at. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this help in cognitive development?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read in some journals that, on the contrary, for young children visual games etc.  may be responsible for cognitive impairment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how safe it is to show these high contrast weird videos to infants? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any studies on this topic?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-09-14T04:16:28.673" LastActivityDate="2021-12-27T16:56:40.153" Title="Visual stimulation videos for infants - good or bad?" Tags="|infant|research|screen-time|cognitive-development|computer|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12030" CreationDate="2014-04-03T15:44:42.100" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think Joe has answered the bulk or your question so I won't repeat his answers, but I think it's worth mentioning that choking can happen irrelevant of your chosen weaning method. So even if you decided to revert to spoon feeding pureé you're not going to completely cut out any risk. If baby is unbothered by what happened, you just have to get on with it. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of recommended foods... for me the advantage of going down the BLW route was basically feeding baby what I eat: so curries, spaghetti bolognese, pies, puddings, the full works. The only thing you need to avoid is whole nuts and honey. If you stick to strips and sticks you're just limiting yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7221" LastActivityDate="2014-04-03T15:44:42.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11941" CreationDate="2014-04-03T15:58:22.757" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the parent to a withholder (from 6 months to 2.5 years!) you have my sympathy, but I must stress to you that it's vital that you completely back off the pressure right now. She absolutely has to be 100% comfortable pooing first and foremost - and as inconvenient as it is if that is in her pants, THAT is where she needs to poo. Holding poo in can cause serious health issues and I don't know about you, but I'd rather my kid was pooping in her pants than in hospital dealing with a bowel obstruction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not familiar with American medications but over here we Lactulose and Movicol as the most common prescribed meds to deal with constipation and withholding. Whatever the med though, you need to wean the kid off slowly. So for us we had to first give a dose high enough for the poos to come out completely - totally runny - so it was not possible to hold them in. We had to maintain this for over a week. After this we slowly dropped the dose until we found our 'maintenance' dose - enough for the poos to come out nice and soft, but not so soft that they were running everywhere. Gradually (very gradually) we were able to reduce that down until the dose was so low as to probably not providing any relief, but at the slightest hint of a held poo or problem we upped the dose right back up. This process took months - in fact over a year I think - but we did eventually get to the point where we were off the meds completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though this hasn't been an issue for nearly 2 years now we have to CONSTANTLY talk about poo, what foods make poo soft, why its important we poo every day. My daughter is 4.5 and we have to remind her to poo every day so we don't get back in the withholding cycle. I imagine this will remain a constant for the next few years or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Few things to bear in mind: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Soiling the underwear but not doing 'full' poos can be the sign of a backup and what you're getting in the underpants is overflow - this needs checking out because it can progress to an obstruction.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If activity and diet are not maintained and your daughter feels in the slightest bit bloated this can bring back memories of bad poos that hurt or caused her whatever psychological issues are preventing her from going and you're back to the beginning again - fruit is great for poos.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Relax! this will not happen forever.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7221" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2014-04-07T00:19:53.943" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T00:19:53.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12030" CreationDate="2014-04-03T20:27:53.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started our little one with baby-lead weaning when she was about 6 months old. We gave her soft fruit (kiwi, mango, watermelon) cut into pieces she could hold in her hand. Sometimes the mango had skin on it, sometimes it didn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She had the kinds of problems you'd expect, some gagging, choking a couple of times, but she just loved eating proper food, so we never stopped. We just made sure we were watching her at all times when she was eating and that we knew what to do when she was choking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, this is how she learned to eat properly. Now 2 years old, she'll still do something silly like put too much ham in her mouth, and she'll almost choke, but magically she'll manage to spit the whole mouthful out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my advice is to persist, and keep an eye on your little one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-04-03T20:27:53.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12033" CreationDate="2014-04-03T23:14:19.400" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby Einstein, which used to hold 90% of the &amp;quot;Educational&amp;quot; video market, was forced to offer refunds (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/24/education/24baby.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;nytimes link&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.reuters.com/article/us-baby-einstein/baby-einstein-dvd-fails-to-boost-language-idUSTRE6233U020100304&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;reuters link&lt;/a&gt;) and change their advertising to reflect that their products do nothing. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/16/opinion/16guernsey.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; article cites The Journal of Pediatrics when stating that &amp;quot;for every hour of baby-video viewing per day, children ages 8 to 16 months knew six to eight fewer words than those who watched no videos.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based upon that, I would assume the Youtube videos are similarly useless. The big difference is that Baby Einstein was owned by Disney, so was easy to sue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="42246" LastEditDate="2021-12-27T16:56:40.153" LastActivityDate="2021-12-27T16:56:40.153" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12038" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12039" CreationDate="2014-04-04T00:36:53.043" Score="9" ViewCount="707" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven-month-old son has started to bite his mother's breast nipple when she's breastfeeding him. Any ideas on how to make it stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6975" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-05T13:23:14.027" LastActivityDate="2019-02-05T13:23:14.027" Title="How to make an infant stop biting the nipple when breastfeeding?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|biting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12038" CreationDate="2014-04-04T04:06:56.750" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main way that worked for us was any time he bites, take him away and don't let him feed for a few minutes.  If he continues, actually put him down on the floor for a few minutes.  Say something while you're doing it so he knows what's going on - don't get mad or yell, just tell him &quot;No thank you, biting hurts.  Mommy doesn't like that.&quot;  They usually catch on after a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also might consider keeping a teether nearby and inserting that whenever he bites; odds are he's teething and will appreciate the teether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-04T04:06:56.750" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12033" CreationDate="2014-04-04T07:15:14.173" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Certainly, the visual stimulation videos help in cognitive development and there are plenty of researches on this. Nevertheless, we often try to look so far that we ignore a puddle that's very near! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The visual things (videos, games or the like) help in cognitive development. However, in the question, &lt;strong&gt;OP's confused&lt;/strong&gt; about videos for &lt;strong&gt;infants&lt;/strong&gt; or for &lt;strong&gt;kids&lt;/strong&gt;. As the title reads &lt;strong&gt;infants&lt;/strong&gt; (and that's why I answered that way) and in question body 'kids' cognitive development is mentioned!' Certainly, infants' eyes are more delicate and sensitive as compared to kids. Anyway, Ali asked me about the research and &lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/11/26/video-games-help-boost-social-memory-cognitive-skills/62537.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here it is.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally believe that babies should be kept &lt;strong&gt;away&lt;/strong&gt; from LED, LCDs or for that sake, any monitor emitting rays. No matter how great claims are made by the manufacturers, babies' eyes are delicate, too delicate and sensitive. I personally would avoid this. Cognitive development over weakened eyes is not any parents would want, do they? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now about cognitive development -this can happen in number of ways not necessarily in the monitors! There are toys and games available that help them learn better things. The children in ancient days too were witty without any electronic gadget. The cognitive development does come through observation, inherent capability of grasping things and above all, the way the thing is taught or represented.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I &lt;strong&gt;DO NOT DENY&lt;/strong&gt; that such videos are not useful. The method is very useful but the medium is not suitable at that tender age. Let them grow a bit, their sight become stronger and their eyes' development mature enough to catch the rays. And hardly, it'll take a year or two. In addition, at that age too, I'd recommend the monitors to be kept as far as possible. First eyes then intellect! (I have had -5 number glasses since my childhood and I know how poor sight makes our lives). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastEditorUserId="6101" LastEditDate="2014-04-10T07:55:17.447" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T07:55:17.447" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12017" CreationDate="2014-04-04T07:51:34.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very practical question. +1 of course!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can relate myself very well to this. My 8-yr-old daughter is very possessive &lt;em&gt;winning&lt;/em&gt; all the time and gets upset if she loses. I tackle this my way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll let her win &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; at times, will beat her in games. But then, there's a trick. I always teach her how to play that game. And, in the beginning, when she's learning, I let her win. But then in between, I help her to beat me in the game by showing her the tricks/moves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she gets a good grasp on the game, I start beating her in a game &lt;strong&gt;telling the reason of the wrong move she made&lt;/strong&gt;. At first, she resists but then she understands and then on, takes care of that. I often tell her that see, you lost this game &lt;strong&gt;as you moved this wrong&lt;/strong&gt; and if you want to win, you have to take care of this now on and trust me, she takes care! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot give &lt;strong&gt;a specific number/ratio&lt;/strong&gt; to this but then it depends on her maturity, her maturity &lt;strong&gt;in game&lt;/strong&gt; and not age! If she's is getting mature, I become tough to get beaten. Two things happen - she learns more and masters the game and I will play my natural game than concentrating on making smart mistakes that she'd not understand and that would let her win! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-04-04T07:51:34.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12038" CreationDate="2014-04-04T12:54:54.877" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 7 months, the various responses are unlikely to have that much affect, so while your wife could try removal from the breast / firm no / etc the problem will have probably fixed itself before they work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to pay attention to the change in latch which usually signifies baby is going to bite (babies can't bite while latched properly - the tongue covers the lower teeth) and then swiftly remove the baby from the breast, and either re-attach baby or offer a distraction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend against shouting at or deliberately startling baby, because this can cause a nursing strike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7221" LastActivityDate="2014-04-04T12:54:54.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11977" CreationDate="2014-04-04T18:20:42.143" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;personally. I would be upfront and honest, too much alcohol is bad. Occasionally it's good for adults to drink. My daughter and I also share a love for the Historic aspects of why something was invented and why something is important. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't spoke to her about alcohol yet, but i will be sure to mention that it was created 1000's of years ago, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/history/did-a-thirst-for-beer-spark-civilization-1869187.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;and it is seemingly the most important human invention&lt;/a&gt; ... &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/opinion/sunday/how-beer-gave-us-civilization.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;(Article 2)&lt;/a&gt; ... &lt;a href=&quot;http://www2.potsdam.edu/alcohol/Controversies/1114796842.html#.Uz73o_ldV1A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;(article 3)&lt;/a&gt; (as long as it's not overdone).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife nor i drink alcohol much either ~ but it is something i don't want to demonize, i don't want her to think it's something worse than it is, and i don't want her to think it's something spectacular. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When in doubt; go with the truth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6926" LastActivityDate="2014-04-04T18:20:42.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12045" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-04T23:43:33.007" Score="6" ViewCount="2096" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is in Kindergarten, and we have been having problems with him misbehaving in school since the beginning of the year. They're saying that he is excessively talking, moving (dancing, moving, etc.) and distracting other students during work time to the point where other students ask to be moved away from him. Then, when his teacher confronts him about his behavior, he throws a temper-tantrum, which disrupts the entire class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a conference concerning his behavior at the beginning of the school year. We came up with an idea to constantly remind him before he went to school every day to behave his best and teach him the proper times to talk and play. We had a calm talk with him after the conference explaining why he cannot act that way in school and what will happen if he continues to act that way, especially going into 1st grade where it will not be tolerated. She also told me that he is excelling in every subject and is extremely smart for his age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The plan seemed to have worked with the mark of &quot;improved study/work habits&quot; on his report card, though the teacher would not grant me anymore conferences when I requested them due to the weather for the past 2 report card periods. I received a note 2 weeks ago stating that this had been continuing off and on all year since our last conference with it being worse in the past month even though our son had been coming home every day saying he was good at school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have drawn up a disciplinary plan to where we have taken away electronic devices, made an early bed-time for him, and no sweets for lying to us and continuing the behavior. We also have resorted to the teacher sending him home with a daily report on his behavior to which on the good day he had this week we rewarded him with going to the park and to his favorite restaurant for dinner as well as praising him only to find out the next day that he acted even worse in school. He doesn't act like this at home and we don't understand what we are doing wrong and at a loss of what more we can do to help him understand and improve his behavior. He is a great child and so smart! I don't want to see him get in worse trouble. Please help us!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7225" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-04-05T16:00:21.677" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T00:21:55.447" Title="6-year-old son's behavior differs from school and home" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12045" CreationDate="2014-04-05T01:29:08.407" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;So far your well-meaning efforts have been directed towards the symptom: his misbehaving.  Addressing the symptom, however, will not resolve the underlying cause.  From this rather short narrative (in terms of a psychoanalysis), it is simply not possible to determine the underlying cause.  However, consider these points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You said that your child is doing exceptionally well in terms of academic performance.  It is known that children placed in a learning situation which is not on par with their particular set of skills very often act out -- the manner varies, but if I were to sit you, the parent, down and teach you how to add and subtract and you had the patience of a child, what would you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, then working with the school staff to find the appropriate educational classroom will be a large step in helping your child now and in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Social dynamics vary from location to location and person to person. If he feels out of place due to cliques in the classroom, he could be acting in a way that psychologically distinguishes himself from them in an &lt;em&gt;unintentional&lt;/em&gt; effort to establish himself as unique and that superior standing makes him beyond their cliques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, it would be helpful to spend some time and observe your child in the classroom and on the playground.  Seeing how he interacts with others will provide cues to you to help educate him in areas where improvement is appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;ADHD is better understood than ever before and a psychiatrist can tell you, after an appropriate evaluation, if your son is affected by this.  Not all treatments are purely by medication, but treatment where and how it is appropriate can be very beneficial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;From what you've written&lt;/strong&gt;, it seems to me that this is the least-likely scenario as you have not made observations of behavior at home which cause concern.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The last thing which comes to mind is the teacher him/her self.  Most teachers devote themselves to their job, accepting a lower pay to do what they love.  We are all, however, human.  Preconceptions or other beliefs about how things are done can color one's method of teaching and class management, the result being that in some circumstances, the difference from what is done at home and what is done at school is so substantial that adjusting becomes a challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, observing your child in the classroom setting will, again, be very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope the above helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my favorite books talks about a famous person who made some serious mistakes.  That man said, &quot;I don't see how I could have done any differently.&quot;   The point of the chapter is that if people at that level can come to that conclusion, what about the person next to you?  I bring this up only to suggest that your son may not necessarily be aware of what he could be doing any differently, not that he is acting out of his own direct volition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deeper investigation with an open mind to all of the potentialities is definitely warranted to get to the root cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-05T01:29:08.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11984" CreationDate="2014-04-05T01:57:03.913" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, your child is not at odds with you or anyone else -- not in his view.  I hated when people would try to teach me things.  At a very young age I even declared openly to my mother that I would not learn from her mistakes; that sometimes learning from my own mistakes was the best way to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said, &quot;especially if he is not able to do it himself instantly.&quot;  So what?  It's perfectly acceptable to fail on your first try.  Thomas Edison didn't have anyone around demanding to show him how to invent something when he failed the first time.  Who wants to feel creative and have some other person come in and crash on their creativity?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your bullet point number 2 is typical of highly creative people (and those with ADHD [yes, I am both.])  When I would get nagged about something where I was perceived as not complying with someone else's timeframe or wishes, I would just give up -- &quot;I don't want to go!&quot;, ... and I would stick to my guns.  It was my terms or not at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, for #3... If I came to your house to teach you about programming in Java for Android devices, how would you react?  And, if you're a programmer, then if I came to your house to discuss the nature of Ayn Rand's philosophical writings, Graham Hancock's Fingerprints of the Gods, etc... and presented my way as &lt;strong&gt;the&lt;/strong&gt; way, how would you react?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you see how other people are wearing on him?  It is easy to see our children from our own eyes, but let's walk in their shoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that we've taken a look through what are similar eyes to his...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When others try to teach or instruct, I'd tell them to let him keep working it out &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; tell him that if he would like a hint or some help, to let you know.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When he's distracted, ask him if there is something you can do to help him prepare.  Coming across as helping him achieve his goal will allow him to &quot;make it his own&quot; and by offering a hand, will likely focus his energies since assistance is something he doesn't want.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;He starts an endless discussion&quot; is not possible.  It takes two to have a discussion.  And only questions, explicit or implied, keep it going in such a type of discussion.  First, if it's something you as the parent are requiring him to do, then state it that way and clearly state that you are not willing to discuss it further (he won't like it, but he will have no other choice since none have been presented as acceptable).  Second, if it's about showing/teaching, then why can't he engage is such a conversation?  Is the point not for him to learn?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to learn.  He &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to learn on his own.  Grant him that.  What will it really hurt?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those who are set out to show/teach him things, have them back off.  He knows how to go to the bathroom, take a shower, brush teeth, etc., so leave the rest of the Universe open to exploration... I am sure he will amaze you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-05T01:57:03.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11672" CreationDate="2014-04-05T02:50:24.157" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing inherently wrong with speaking rapidly.  The truth is, is that the speaker is understood more often than they are not when enunciation is not an issue.  Take, for instance, reading... If you were to occlude the bottom half of every letter in English, one would generally still be able to read.  I remember reading somewhere that that's how the eyes scan text in interpreting it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can speak rapidly (and do).  I can also, ofc, speak in a very punctuated manner.  So why do I not do one or the other consistently?  Delivery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timing is everything. (Read fast)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timing... is... &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;. (Read with emphasis and pausing)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Less dramatically, but more colloquially, one could play with various timings and emphasis on, &quot;Oh&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In drama class in High School, we had to do an entire skit with 2 words: &lt;em&gt;Why&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;Because&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was very informative on how the pace of speaking and the emphasis on syllables could imply so very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With some background conversation and exercises based on the above, one could then draw the following conclusion: Just like we deplore sitting through 60 seconds of a monotone speaker, one who speaks in a very rapid manner continuously is a similar bore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of trying to follow any kind of strict breathing/speaking regimen, perhaps encouraging playing with her speech patterns to make them more interesting and powerful to those listening would be of interest and benefit to her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-05T02:50:24.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12054" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-06T05:35:54.163" Score="1" ViewCount="2314" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is sun bathing still recommended option to get natural vitamin D for infants or one should prefer the medications like Vit D3, calcitrol etc.&#xA;Also which sunlight morning time or afternoon time is most beneficial?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastActivityDate="2014-04-06T06:15:28.663" Title="Sun Bathing to get Vitamin D for infants" Tags="|infant|sunlight|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12054" CreationDate="2014-04-06T06:07:12.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;While getting Vitamin D is important, remember that how you get it is important, too.  Sunlight has other characteristics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, I am not a Dr, so let me share a pretty comprehensive site that covers this in detail: &lt;a href=&quot;http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/VitaminD-HealthProfessional/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/VitaminD-HealthProfessional/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading that, you will most likely know more than you ever wanted. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Importantly, the sun section concludes with this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Assessment of vitamin D requirements cannot address the level of sun&#xA;  exposure because of these public health concerns about skin cancer,&#xA;  and there are no studies to determine whether UVB-induced synthesis of&#xA;  vitamin D can occur without increased risk of skin cancer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-04-06T06:15:28.663" LastActivityDate="2014-04-06T06:15:28.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8936" CreationDate="2014-04-06T19:19:04.190" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young boys at that age are actually discovering attraction, it seems normal, but the child does need male advice. If there is no father around, a sensible uncle, teacher or close friend of the family can help.  The most important issue is to point out the difference in LIKING a girl and LOVING her. Secondly, explain the fact that we will have many rejections in life, and that this is also normal.  Once you understand you will have to deal with it. Last but not least; the child with that attitude needs a lot of love and support from his family, he needs to KNOW he is loved and therefore will have more self esteem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7232" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-04-17T20:12:34.623" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T20:12:34.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12045" CreationDate="2014-04-07T00:21:55.447" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This seems very similar to our experience with our son. The behaviour showed up in kindergarten (age 4) and continued in first year of school (prep). In short, the issues diagnosed and dealt with so far are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tiredness due to sleep apnea (surgury)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;partial deafness due to blocked Eustachian tubes (grommets)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sensory seeking (OT, chewing-gum)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sensory processing issues (OT, exercise regime)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Audit processing issues (working with teacher)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Possibly visual processing issues (glasses)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being &quot;bad&quot; was never an issue, he was just dealing with a difficult set of circumstances that he has afflicted with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a more details, have a look at my (and other) answers here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11429/is-it-normal-for-a-five-year-old-to-be-put-in-detention-repeatedly-for-not-being/11433#11433&quot;&gt;Is it normal for a five year-old to be put in detention repeatedly for not being able to sit still and be quiet?&lt;/a&gt;, here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11201/suggestions-for-a-5-year-old-who-cant-sit-still-in-her-chair/11206#11206&quot;&gt;Suggestions for a 5 year old who can't sit still in her chair?&lt;/a&gt; and here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11914/how-do-i-get-my-5-year-old-to-focus-in-school/11920#11920&quot;&gt;How do I get my 5 year old to focus in school&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T00:21:55.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10709" CreationDate="2014-04-07T02:09:19.670" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two cents: I would teach QWERTY.  That's what they'll be expected to use in school.  Making her learn a different layout at home is just going to confuse the issue, more than likely, and make school more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unlike languages, keyboard layouts are incredibly easy to learn at an older age, if the student is interested.  I learned Dvorak in a few weeks, as in was up to near my normal QWERTY speed after a few weeks.  If your child is interested, she can learn on her own later on without much difficulty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T02:09:19.670" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10709" CreationDate="2014-04-07T02:15:15.517" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answer: &lt;strong&gt;QWERTY&lt;/strong&gt;.  For better or worse, it's the standard that she'll have to deal with everywhere outside your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also a bit surprised by various answers that seem to accept Dvorak's claims of being faster as undisputed fact.  This claim is actually &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dvorak_Simplified_Keyboard#Controversies_and_criticism&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;quite controversial&lt;/a&gt;: the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.utdallas.edu/~liebowit/keys1.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;oft-cited early studies are problematic, and modern studies are generally inconclusive at best&lt;/a&gt;.  And as Wikipedia points out, even though keyboards can be remapped, keyboard &lt;em&gt;shortcuts&lt;/em&gt; like Ctrl-C/V are designed with QWERTY in mind (they're conveniently next to each other), which handicaps Dvorak in real life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T02:15:15.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11835" CreationDate="2014-04-07T04:01:04.260" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You'll forgive me, Jon, I'm sure, for answering your question by ignoring your SO reputation... few adults are tech nerds like us. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents frequently ask me which child monitoring/protection software I use.  I reply, &quot;Me.&quot;  I then elaborate by telling them that there isn't any software which can think and analyze like a human being can.  The best monitoring software is you, the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find that all too often children are left in front of a computer like they have been previously left in front of a television... without any serious oversight from the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping that in mind, let's ask ourselves a few questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Who &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; a virus?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Who &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; some weirdo contacting them?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Who &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to see something they weren't looking for?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Who &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to view SPAM or other (semi-)malicious content?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer in all cases (I sincerely hope) is neither adults &lt;em&gt;nor&lt;/em&gt; our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she was quite young, my daughter was chatting on barbie.com.  During my regular check on her activity, I asked her what she was doing.  She was elated!  She was chatting with BARBIE!!!  I, however, looked at the chat.  It wasn't what she thought.  When I pointed out that she was chatting with real people from all over the world, she got disappointed, offended, and closed the window.  I didn't have to do anything other than inform her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three months ago she got a virus on her computer (yes, I do have her account on Windows as a restricted, child account, but she found my password to install something [long story... let's not go there.])  I repaired the machine and explained what the consquences could have been.  She had to change all of her passwords, of course (and mine is now different, too!)  Now, whenever she wants to install an addon for a game, she doesn't even feign to get my password... she just asks to make sure she is safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, directly addressing you, Jon: How many adults have we met that are as risky with their online behavior as our children can be? (No one at my office is allowed to install, upgrade, or respond to dialogs on software.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer to your question is that we educate them as to the threats which exist and do our best to protect them from exposure to such threats -- that is what &lt;strong&gt;both&lt;/strong&gt; we and they want, so there really isn't a debate to be had when presented in a helpful manner.  My daughter isn't upset that her account is limited since she has seen the effects interfere with her ability to play games and do other stuff... it's nice that daddy will just take care of it for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if the concern is one's child nefariously doing things, then that is a whole 'nother question probably best suited for another forum on SE b/c those who want to do things behind our backs are quite creative and no matter how well-trained we are, will find some way we have yet to have heard of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the adware installation issue is oftentime by pure accident... a dialog mimicking a regular dialog which causes side effects -- the untrained person is just not prepared for all the hack attempts we are regularly exposed to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, it was some addon to Minecraft she installed which had a virus, so watch your booty there!  That thing took me 3 hours to remove!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T04:01:04.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11916" CreationDate="2014-04-07T04:25:31.020" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I will answer you direct question: No, there is no upside to talking to young children about racial or ethnic groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, why do I say such a thing?  Because I believe the question is flawed by its very nature.  Let me elaborate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have blue yes.  You have brown.  Should I talk to a young child about differences in eye color?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have red hair.  You have black.  Should I talk to a young child about differences in hair color?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No.  Addressing &lt;em&gt;one-and-only one set of differences&lt;/em&gt; has the direct effect of &lt;em&gt;emphasizing&lt;/em&gt; that characteristic.  Addressing all differences, as opposed to any one set, though, is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some times and cultures, white people were thought to be heirs of gods.  In other times, red haired people were thought to be heirs of gods.  The list really does go on.  And it has the converse... certain characteristics of people were used to marginalize or murder them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my view, our goal should be to educate our children on the wonderful differences we all have.  Some of those differences are minor.  Some of them are significant (think of the great leaders, artists, philosophers, thinkers throughout time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we discuss the wide variety of differences between people in different regions, religions, and cultures?  Absolutely!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we explore the wide variety of ways the people interact, think, and view the world with our children, we help them to see beyond the mini-universe in which they have been brought up and open the possibilities to endless opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am fond of saying, &quot;It is not what you do, but how you do it which defines your success.&quot;  Broach the subject, yes, but only in the context of the full context of humanity so that you are providing your child with an open perspective on all the issues, not just one hot-button issue.  When it is taken in its entirety (over the course of a few chats, I'm sure), not one thing will stand out -- just the overreaching principle: We are all free to be ourselves and should not ever be treated differently for anything beyond our control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you different that me?  Yes.  Do I care? No.  Can I learn from you?  I most certainly hope so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him. - Ralph Waldo Emerson&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-04-07T15:44:28.763" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T15:44:28.763" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12064" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-07T12:22:08.997" Score="5" ViewCount="6914" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it necessary to boil bottled water before giving it to a 8 month old? Surely bottled water that has a shelf life of a year can't have any bacteria in it, else it would not last a year at room temperature. So, is there any reason why it would need to be boiled before giving it to a baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4229" LastActivityDate="2019-09-14T06:35:44.197" Title="Do you need to boil bottled water" Tags="|water|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12064" CreationDate="2014-04-07T13:43:56.090" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't imagine you need to boil any water before giving to a normal 8 month old; by six months the baby's immune system is functioning very well. I can't say I've ever boiled water before giving to a child, though we didn't ever give water under six months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, bottled water unless 'distilled' can and does contain some bacteria. For example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7763038/Bottled-water-contains-more-bacteria-than-tap-water.html&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt; showed higher bacteria levels in two thirds of bottled water brands than tap water in Canada, and similar US studies show one third to one half do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bacteria in the water don't grow much due to the lack of nutrients and oxygen; but as most bottled water are just filtered like tap water is (not distilled or boiled), they can still contain bacteria. They are subjected to similar tests as tap water in the US, although some argue that they are not as well regulated in many countries, and even the best regulated water contains some bacteria. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is primarily a concern with the inmunocompromised, such as very young infants (&amp;lt; 3 mo in particular), and people undergoing some treatments for cancer in particular as they can kill off the immune system (why I initially learned this caring for a sick relative).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T13:43:56.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12067" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-07T16:30:40.313" Score="1" ViewCount="609" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've promised my 3 year old son an aquarium for when he completes potty training.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Progress has not been as good as we'd like (he pees on the potty almost every day, but has only pooped once).  Our pediatrician suggested a chart, with specific goals he could work for, to make it more &quot;real&quot; than a nebulous promise of an aquarium when he's done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We took him to the pet store, and had him pick out the tank, inhabitants, and ornaments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're planning on placing pictures of each of the items he picked out on a board, with specific goals associated with each item that he can work towards, and see progress with stars under each item. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, to get the aquarium itself, he'd need to complete all other goals, plus go &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; number of days in &quot;big boy underwear&quot; without an accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've got between 10 and 14 different rewards to incorporate.  He picked out 14 things, but I felt that that might be too many (plus I'm not sure we can fit all of that in one aquarium).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want to start him right off the bat with feeling like he's making progress (so maybe something really easy for the first reward?), and we want to ensure that he continues to be motivated to continually make progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What goals should we set for each reward?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T01:23:37.083" Title="What potty training goals should I use for my son's reward chart?" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|reward|star-chart|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12069" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12071" CreationDate="2014-04-07T20:43:03.533" Score="1" ViewCount="3332" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can food feeders be used as first steps to baby lead weaning (6-7 m.o baby)? Or there is really no connection?&#xA;If not, is there any benefit in food feeders over puréed foods? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mean food feeders like &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B005KWL0OI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Kidsme Feeder&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000GK5XY2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Munchkin Fresh food feeder&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/KCqM7.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Fresh Food Feeders&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This award-winning product allows your baby to enjoy lots of delicious foods without the choking risk. Simply put a piece of fruit, vegetables or meat into the mesh bag and snap shut. Your baby can chew, suck and enjoy all the whole food goodness and taste, with only the tiniest, digestible pieces coming through. Your baby gets great flavor and you get great peace of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6877" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-04-07T22:35:36.933" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T03:03:41.517" Title="food feeders can be used for baby lead weaning?" Tags="|feeding|solids|baby-led-weaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11868" CreationDate="2014-04-07T21:18:23.273" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is quite the medical issue; however, since you asked what you, a parent, can specifically do....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Recognize the gravity of the crime&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of people miss this part. Recognize and believe that what happened to her was a serious crime; a violation of her being. There is no &quot;getting over it.&quot; There is only accepting it and managing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Understand why she is doing this&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's difficult to understand, but cutting yourself is a great pain reliever. It's a way of releasing the pain they are feeling on the &quot;inside.&quot; For sexual assault victims, it's also a way of re-asserting control back on their body -- something that is taken away from them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Baby Steps&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cutting is fairly serious and it should be dealt with. However, baby steps. Asking her to stop cutting herself will result in lashing out -- you are taking away her right to her own body. You have to lead her to the desired behaviour; not demand it. This can be something like talking about cutting; asking her what kind of tools she is using. You can talk about the safety of it -- remind her to use clean tools. You can ask that she give you a call after she is cutting, since you are concerned if she is OK or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal is to make her talk about what she is feeling. Make her realize that there are alternatives (such as talking, therapy, etc.). Make sure that she knows when she is ready, she can go to therapy. Help her find a psychiatrist -- they are not all equal. You want someone who she will be comfortable talking to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, love. TLC is not just for babies. It's for adults too. Touch, love, and care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T21:18:23.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12069" CreationDate="2014-04-07T21:30:06.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not an expert (we did BLW but not in a terribly organized manner), but I would tend to say, not very much.  Baby-led weaning, from what I know, is mostly about teaching the baby to learn how to eat; and while feeders are nice to use for teething (which is what we used them for), they don't really teach the baby how to eat very well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the extent that they do help with baby led weaning, they probably are most useful early on when the baby is first learning how to move the gums/jaw to chew as an alternative to soft foods.  Once that has been learned, they don't really offer very much in terms of help in that regard.  In addition, it would be better to learn to chew on bananas or other soft foods so that the baby can get used to swallowing chewed food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-07T21:30:06.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12072" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-07T23:14:44.867" Score="1" ViewCount="946" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old daughter has been great up until now. She continues to pretend she isn't capable of going to the restroom and is peeing everywhere for some reason. She keeps saying &quot;I can't do it&quot; when we tell her to do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She all started acted out when her father(ex to my girlfriends) came over. At first she got in a bad mood when getting the news of him coming over and was being bad. I don't know if his coming over is causing a bad affect to her. This ex has left a bad impression on them both I think which is why they left because the situation was bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what the heck is going on. She was a sweet heart and would listen, now it just all backwards. The daughter really loves me and always asks for me. I wonder if it could be she is acting our because I am not there, but I am unsure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4810" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2014-06-18T14:32:57.387" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T03:21:28.757" Title="3 year old child acting out for some reason" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12067" CreationDate="2014-04-08T02:45:21.763" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I got lucky when it came to potty training.  All I had to do was ask her and she did it.  Wow!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other tasks weren't so easy, though.  I don't recall what it was I was try to teach her, but this is what I did and what I hope will help you by my sharing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I would recommend not calling it &quot;an accident&quot;.  The reason being is that we all naturally want to avoid accidents, but I find the &quot;stick&quot; not as effective as the &quot;carrot&quot; and mixing the two to be less effective.  Another natural trait of human beings is the desire to be great, so why not try renaming it as &quot;14 days of success&quot;?  It's far more encouraging, in my opinion, to be able to say, &quot;I did it!&quot; as opposed to &quot;I didn't do something incorrect.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, for what I did with her.  She loved certain dolls and characters at the time.  So I bought a bunch of stickers that she was extremely in love with.  Then, we sat down together and crafted a success map (with her largely defining goals she felt she could meet), drawing circles along the way.  I posted that on the wall and whenever she was successful, she got to choose a sticker to put in the next circle and she got to place the sticker in the circle (or, roughly in the circle given her age at the time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were bonus markers along the way where she got something.  Perhaps for your son, going out and getting that part of the aquarium?  Those mini-bonuses &quot;keep it real&quot; when they are that young... it is so easy to think (at that age) that you'll never get to the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping the positive re-inforcement in mind, I would occassionally whisper to her (there was no one listening, but it gave the impression of super-secret coolness) that because she had &lt;strong&gt;_&lt;/strong&gt; (insert something about the successes which is relevant and showing a pattern), I was going to let her cheat and have TWO stickers!  She ate it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The essence of the activity is that it was changed into a continuous, active, rewarding game engineered around her particular interests... the task she was to complete became secondary to &quot;winning the game&quot; and that resulted in my desired goal: the task completed well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Years later, I have that chart in her baby book.  She thinks that it's so cute and wants to know what she was working toward.  While I wrote the date on the back, silly me didn't write the goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-08T02:45:21.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12064" CreationDate="2014-04-08T04:48:48.497" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, everything has bacteria. It's pretty impossible to remove &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; bacteria unless you work in a highly sterilized environment. In this case, however, bottled water is mass-filtered and mass-bottled in bottling plants that undoubtedly contain bacteria. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, you don't need to boil bottled water. Boiling water is necessary when you don't know the source of the water, the amount of bacteria, or the types of impurities within the water, i.e. stream water, which nowadays, depending on the stream, I wouldn't recommend drinking from (nevertheless giving it to an 8-month-old). Bottled water manufacturers submit their water to be tested just like any other food, usually vetted through their country's equivalent of the FDA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sidenote about water and small children&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't give your child distilled water, ever. Also, don't give your child too much water. While drinking water is relatively benign for older children all the way up to adults, we usually take in a lot more salts than infants and toddlers. Drinking too much water can cause infants and toddlers to rapidly lose electrolytes which ensure that are intra/extracellular fluids stay conductive. An electrolyte imbalance in the body can have serious side effects including death if not treated quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned about your child's level of hydration, give them something like Pedialyte or heavily water-dilated low-sugar sports drinks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-04-08T04:48:48.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12075" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12082" CreationDate="2014-04-08T07:35:53.973" Score="9" ViewCount="2147" Body="&lt;p&gt;The infant is 9 months old. She started walking (without support) when she was 8 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents are pressurizing me to force her to wear shoes. They say she should get a habit of wearing shoes otherwise when she is outside she won't wear them. Also they say that if she doesn't wear the shoes her feet will grow up big.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What is a good age for the child to start wearing shoes and why (assuming she already walks - comfortably)?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Authoritative answers requested.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2016-08-27T19:37:18.970" Title="My infant has started walking -- when should I start making her wear shoes?" Tags="|infant|walking|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12076" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12105" CreationDate="2014-04-08T07:41:23.737" Score="1" ViewCount="137" Body="&lt;p&gt;Age: 9 months.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What are the indicators that the infant needs a test for stomach worms?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2014-04-16T07:55:20.790" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T07:55:20.790" Title="What things would possibly indicate I should see a doctor about stomach worms?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2014-05-01T10:45:40.647" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12079" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-08T08:30:29.833" Score="-6" ViewCount="21809" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've taken everything except for three outfits, a bed cover, and her pillow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is my next step?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I rarely whoop my girls, but my 13 yr old has pushed me 4 times in 3 months to have to spank her! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I give her ways to get her stuff back, but as of today she has lost the chance to earn anything back until she can respect me, and lose that smart mouth!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She repeats every problem behavior my oldest had done, just 50 times worse! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I raised my kids kind of strictly. They have morals, and know right from wrong. They know their manners and know how to say &quot;yes ma'am,&quot; &quot;no ma'am,&quot; when to be quiet, and when to speak, but it seems like both my girls have to learn things the hard way. They do seem to learn from it, though! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 13 year old thinks she's always right and knows everything. I don't know the reason she thinks she can tell me &quot;No,&quot; or smart-mouth me, but she is sadly mistaken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: what do you think my next move should be?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a strict upbringing as a child, and probably got spanked, but I think it helped make me into a good person, so I am not opposed to the idea of spanking, if it will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7239" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-04-08T18:57:05.500" LastActivityDate="2022-04-26T08:18:26.250" Title="I've taken all of my 13 year old daughter's possessions, and she's still disrespectful" Tags="|behavior|discipline|teen|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12075" CreationDate="2014-04-08T14:06:40.043" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it depends on your situation and what you feel comfortable with. We have wood floors so we started with shoes immediately because we did not want her feet getting cold. Socks were too slippery on the floor so shoes were the next best thing. Shoes will also help your baby walk better as they help by giving the baby a solid footing and if they have high sides it will help support and balance as well. If you have carpet it may not be as necessary to get shoes on as quick but I would say once the baby is walking or even attempting to walk shoes are not a bad thing to get them started with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My authority? 3 kids.. lol :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastActivityDate="2014-04-08T14:06:40.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12075" CreationDate="2014-04-08T16:40:08.640" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless she needs them to protect her feet, never. In the words of the AAP: &quot;&lt;em&gt;Style is the only reason for a baby to wear shoes at all until the child begins walking outdoors or is taken out in cold weather.&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, the idea that her feet will get too big is somewhere between ignorant and harmful. Wearing correctly-sized shoes will not prevent foot growth. Wearing shoes that are too small WILL retard foot growth in entirely bad ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Association of Pediatrics states &lt;a href=&quot;http://patiented.aap.org/content2.aspx?aid=6900&amp;amp;refURL&quot;&gt;there's no need to wear shoes other than for protection and that walking without them allows your child to use her toes for gripping and balance&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as altering foot growth, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.pediatriccareonline.org/pco/ub/view/AAP-Textbook-of-Pediatric-Care/394183/2/chapter_183%3a_foot_and_leg_problems?amod=aapea&amp;amp;login=true&amp;amp;nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a%20No%20local%20token&quot;&gt;here's the AAP article warning of improper shoe use.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The foot takes the shape of the shoe, not vice versa. Improperly fitted or manufactured shoes may be the primary cause of acquired foot deformities and problems. Shoes that do not fit properly can deform an otherwise-normal foot, resulting in hammertoes, hallux valgus, bunionettes, corns, and, ultimately, the need for surgery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make note: other studies have indicated that even putting your child in used shoes can be problematic, as the shoe will have become deformed to varying extents by the previous wearer. That alteration can then be passed on to your child's feet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the habit of wearing shoes, I'm not sure I believe it's likely to make a difference. Some kids can be acclimated to things they dislike, some will fight you to the end. However, in the interest of grandparent harmony, why not let them buy her some shoes? You will surely take her places where she needs footwear to walk around so having some won't be harmful. Just make sure they are properly fitted and you move on to the next size as needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2014-04-08T16:40:08.640" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12075" CreationDate="2014-04-08T18:31:17.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Addressing your parent's comments:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;They must get into the habit&quot;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is some truth to this. A rule of &quot;you must always wear shoes&quot; is generally easier for kids to stick with than &quot;you must wear shoes in the front yard&quot;. This is really about having managable rules (ones you can enforce &amp;amp; the child can follow).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;feet must have shoes&quot;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is patently false. The general conclusion of recent research is that feet do just fine on their own. Unless there is a specific medical issue that require corrective footwear, kids do not &quot;need&quot; shoes to give them support or to ensure they grow &quot;correctly&quot;. If you do get shoes, look for ones that are very flexible, and allow for the most natural walking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shoes do provide some protection -- notably from sharp objects. Our kids usually go barefoot in the back yard, and we've had 2-3 scrapes &amp;amp; 1 severe splinter in 27 kid-years of running around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The soles of your feet have built-in thermal protection, which if the kids commonly go barefoot will be thick enough to handle temperatures (based on my experience) from 45F up to 95F.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7165" LastEditorUserId="7165" LastEditDate="2014-04-09T00:37:46.130" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T00:37:46.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12075" CreationDate="2014-04-08T19:09:58.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you wear shoes indoors? If so, perhaps the baby should too. I would choose very soft shoes, moccasins or slippers. Nothing hard-soled or stiff sided. Whatever &quot;support&quot; a foot or ankle needs should come from a child's own muscles and ligaments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, like me, you don't wear shoes inside your home, then get the baby some shoes and keep them by the front door with yours. When it's time to go out, everyone puts their shoes on, baby too. If you will mostly be carrying the baby (or using a stroller, pram, sling, or baby backpack), or you're headed to an indoor destination before the baby will touch the ground, then the same sort of lightweight soft shoes are a good choice. (It is no fun to be kicked with a hard baby shoe.) If the baby will be walking on rough ground or where sharp things might be, a harder shoe is a good idea, just to protect their feet outdoors. And if it's muddy or snowy, look at boots. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children really despise shoes and get very good at taking them off. I have never seen any correlation between that hatred of shoes and whether or not they were made to wear them early. I would focus on showing the baby that everyone is wearing shoes and the baby is going to wear them too. (Though for some toddlers, I know that doesn't always work.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-04-08T19:09:58.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12079" CreationDate="2014-04-09T00:14:49.743" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Raising a child is not a game of chess.  There is not a &quot;next move.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was 12 was the last time I was spanked. It was by my mother.  I couldn't help but laugh at her attempt.  My very strong timber-faller stepdad then assaulted me by kicking and punching me.  Do you know what lesson I learned? Despise him.  25 years later, that is the sum of my memory of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was younger, I was (along with my siblings) routinely beat by my father and watched my mother get beat when she tried to protect us from his abuse.  I've always been a &quot;thinker&quot;, so I reasoned at the time that since they could take everything away from me, I would hold on to the one thing they never could -- my mind.  The result was that years later my mother complained to a therapist that she couldn't find a way to discipline (proper ways being tried at that time), because everything she came up with, I found some way to enjoy.  With all of my stuff taken from me except for a bed and the clothes on my back, I entertained myself by imagining great armies of light and dark in the light coming through my windows and the shade in the corner and visualized them battling it out.  Consequences: Nothing learned from the punishment, but a great imagination developed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Isaac Asimov wrote in one of his books, &quot;violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 14.  I have spanked her, but not since she was 3 or 4 (and then for justifications I have since learned were not the best means of achieving my end goals).  She has rules.  She has structure.  And, quite importantly, she follows the rules most of the time and where she breaks them unintentionally, I remind her of the rules, but where she breaks them on purpose, there are consequences catered both to what she desires (the punishment being restricting or taking them away) and ensuring such behavior does not recur (in that future punishments will be greater in whichever way is most appropriate for her particular thing about which she cares.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your goal as a parent ought not be one of controlling and forcing your child -- it will serve zero purpose in helping them in their future lives and seriously damage their perception of you for years to come.  Your goal ought to be to help them be critically-thinking, well-balanced adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To that end, I suggest getting to know your child better by spending time with them in activities they enjoy, chatting about their day-to-day lives, playing various games (either digital or real-world), and even asking their opinion about various things such as philosophy, politics, religion, sports, etc.  If you get to know them better, you will understand them better.  When you understand where someone is coming from; when you can see something through their eyes; when &lt;em&gt;they feel&lt;/em&gt; you have walked a mile in their shoes, you will be granted respect (respect is something earned, not the result of a demand acceded to.)  With that respect your child(ren) will not suddenly become perfect angels, but will be more receptive to your guidance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The guidance and instruction you provide, however, must be in a form suitable for the situation.  Remember the old saying, &quot;a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, you are a leader.  Lead by example and remember there are 2 types of leaders (in a summary fashion): those who are followed because others are forced and those who follow because others love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The choice you make as to which type of leader you are will define all of your choices from there on out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T00:14:49.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12079" CreationDate="2014-04-09T00:49:51.147" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whatever you are doing is clearly not working. Doing more of the same will give more of the same result. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have already taken everything from your daughter then she now has nothing to lose; this puts you in a position of weakness and makes the situation even more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps what you need to a &quot;reset&quot; in your relationship with your daughters. I've had to do this a couple of times with my willful daughter to clear the air so we can move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Firstly, forget everything that has happening before, you all need to start from a clean slate. Keep in mind your daughters have probably built up a lot of mistrust and resentment. The reset needs to go both ways.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work out just what you want from your kids. Fear is not respect. Are your expectations reasonable?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sit down with your daughters tell them that you want to start again. Return all of their possessions without condition - you must establish trust. Discuss with them what your expectations are (chores, courtesy, etc).  Listen to what they have to say. Remember, it is the long term gains you are after even it is means you let a few things slide is the short-term.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be patient and work with them. This may take a while. Offer them incentives to get them to comply rather than fear of punishment. Every time you show anger, you lose ground. An incentive is not a bribe. It might be as simple as do your chores and I'll help you with your homework. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You should enjoy your relationship with your children. If it is not enjoyable (both ways) then something is wrong and should be addressed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spanking (in my experience) does not work. When a child is spanked, it relieves them of guilt and prevents them from having to look at what they did wrong. It all becomes about the spanking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T00:49:51.147" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12079" CreationDate="2014-04-09T01:08:34.370" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It appears there has been a complete erosion of respect, on both sides of this relationship. I highly recommend seeking outside, trained (be it pastoral care or professional) assistance in rebuilding a foundation of trust &amp;amp; respect. 13 is tough age to start this process, but it is doable. It will take time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also suggest learning collaborative negotiation. Right now I doubt your daughter has any respect for your authority, and will just perceive any consequences you dole out to be unjust. This means there will not be any learning or real behavior modification -- just increasing resentment. Negotiation on the other hand will let you guide her toward healthy behavior. It may not directly alter her choices, but at least you can get your wisdom communicated. If you're really lucky she may share with you her core motivations, which gives you the opportunity to provide further guidance (e.g. you can still party when your 25, but now is the best time to earn scholarships).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7165" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T01:08:34.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12067" CreationDate="2014-04-09T01:23:37.083" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The initial goal should be simply using the potty. This creates a strong positive connection to the desired behavior, that is easy for the child to comprehend. I'd also recommend the reward be some sort of short, focused time with the parent - can be a game of patty cake, reading them a very short book. It's both relatively &quot;free&quot; and they can never eat too many! Depending on the child's level, you can also engage them with picking the next activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you get some reasonable consistency, you can work on linking behaviors together -- namely going potty twice in a row. Reduce the reward for just going once down to a hug, high five, etc. and save the &quot;bigger&quot; rewards for consecutive potty use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Negative consequences for potty &quot;mistakes&quot; should be avoided at all costs. Their actual control is limited, and any added anxiety will only make it more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7165" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T01:23:37.083" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11866" CreationDate="2014-04-09T02:06:24.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The approach that can maintain this balance is to &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; have &lt;strong&gt;absolute&lt;/strong&gt; respect for all those involved. Your question speaks directly to the issue of trampling the boundaries of others, and being grounded respect will allow them to act with confidence in themselves without become a &quot;bossypants&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7165" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T02:06:24.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12090" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12113" CreationDate="2014-04-09T02:11:45.493" Score="6" ViewCount="2034" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the lucky father of an adorable 5-year-old girl. I understand she has her own process to learn how to deal with frustration and I think it's quite normal for a 5-year-old girl to start crying many times when she's frustrated (because I don't understand her question, or because she wants something right now, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to stay calm and to be patient and understanding and I'd like to teach her some ways to solve her problems and deal with her frustration in other ways than crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What techniques do you recommend? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7244" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-04-09T07:01:00.923" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T02:42:07.680" Title="How do I help my 5-year-old daughter solve problems instead of crying" Tags="|pre-schooler|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12091" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12092" CreationDate="2014-04-09T02:20:18.867" Score="8" ViewCount="542" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my education, my parents never asked me such a thing. My wife, on the other hand, understands you can ask a child to stop crying (she had a tougher childhood I guess).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I have mixed feelings when she asks our 4 yr daughter to stop crying for any reason. Is that a reasonable request?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7244" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T21:23:12.657" Title="Is it fair (or adequate) to ask a 4 yr old to stop crying for some reason?" Tags="|pre-schooler|crying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12091" CreationDate="2014-04-09T03:02:45.707" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;We mostly only ask one of our children to stop crying, and that's because he will literally keep going for hours if we don't.  Most children get it out of their systems in a couple minutes and move on, at least for crying about something that happened in the past and is done, not an ongoing condition like being tired or sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At a certain point, crying ceases to be cathartic and the child is just continuing crying because they don't know what else to do.  Preschool age is when you start teaching them what to do instead so they can deal with their feelings instead of just helplessly expressing them.  It has nothing to do with &quot;being tough.&quot;  It's about learning to use words to express your feelings like a thinking human being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any doubts about whether it was appropriate to ask a child to stop crying, look at her reaction to the request.  95% of the time, most kids will stop immediately and perk right up.  The other times, you can let her keep going and console her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T03:02:45.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12069" CreationDate="2014-04-09T03:03:41.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always considered a spoon to be the only &quot;food feeder&quot; a baby needs. Why have her learn to use a mesh bag unless that's what she'll use as a grown up? It doesn't make any sense to teach her to use one gadget (which is gross and really hard to clean, BTW) only to have to teach her to use another later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most effective &quot;food feeders&quot; for babies are the ones they come equipped with at birth: fingers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, in terms of teaching a baby to chew and swallow food, these mesh bags will not help at ALL. They encourage sucking, which babies know how to do already, and, which is not how they should be processing solid (or semi solid) foods. In order to learn to chew and swallow they must be able get the food in their mouth and move it around with the tongue. This is impossible if the food is incarcerated in the mesh bag. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, the only thing these &quot;feeders&quot; are good for is to allow your baby to have foods she is probably not ready to eat yet, such as apples, for the purpose of teething (as mentioned in another answer), not for eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T03:03:41.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12095" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12096" CreationDate="2014-04-09T10:17:01.120" Score="2" ViewCount="196" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sister has shifted to our city recently after losing her husband in an accident. We were not that close earlier. Last time when we met her kid was about 8 years old and going to school and all was well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he has grown up and is around 20 years of age. He does not behave properly. He does not give respect to elders. He was poor in studies and dropped out of school before finishing high school. He does not like to be corrected. I believe this could be the reason for dropping out of school. He does what he thinks is right. Recently his aggression has increased and is out of control and resorts to thrashing his mother as well. When he was young he was not hanging out with any of his mates. As of now he just eats and sleeps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot answer for why this was not corrected in earlier stages. I am looking for answers on what could be done to correct at this stage. Or is it too late? Just hate the fact that she has to cope up with this kid all alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7245" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2014-04-09T11:13:29.923" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T13:15:46.187" Title="Could it be ADHD?" Tags="|behavior|adhd|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12095" CreationDate="2014-04-09T13:15:46.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is unlikely it is ADHD, but the only one to diagnose that is a trained therapist (which I am not).  It is extremely rare that ADHD is diagnosed first in adults, but it does happen (as it did with me, for example.)  ADHD, however, isn't the only mental &quot;illness&quot; out there, as I am sure you know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therapy is unlikely to hurt, so why not try it?  Something is clearly awry, so getting outside help is the best thing I can recommend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T13:15:46.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12091" CreationDate="2014-04-09T13:55:55.867" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You ask the child to say in words how they feel and what's wrong.  You let them know that it is fine to feel like that and that their emotions are valid.  Then you talk about how to overcome the problem, and maybe how to avoid it in future.  Then you give them a hug (hopefully when the crying has stopped) and help them start what ever they're doing next.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T13:55:55.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12098" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12104" CreationDate="2014-04-09T14:12:02.773" Score="4" ViewCount="8853" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/childgrowth/en/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;WHO growth standards&lt;/a&gt; are applicable worldwide and designed to suit all ethnic groups, but given that genetics play an important part in stature, can parents of Asian children rely on different growth charts that are specific to the growth patterns of Asian kids? In particular, does anyone know of existing growth standards (with percentiles) for Chinese or Japanese children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7246" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T06:48:15.073" Title="Asian growth charts" Tags="|growth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12091" CreationDate="2014-04-09T15:51:43.937" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crying generally involves a lot of noise.  So in situations where the noise is not acceptable due to time, place, etc, it's certainly reasonable to tell the child that they need to stop crying, or you might have to take them to a place where it would be acceptable for them to cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course one should recognize that there are injuries and hurts that are overwhelming for a child, and while you could ask them to stop they may simply be unable to. In this case I recommend understanding and taking care of their needs rather than worrying about the crying itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that children learn cause and effect in regards to crying.  If crying always works to get your attention, but other things don't, then crying will become the method they choose to use to get your attention.  As such, if crying bothers you, become attentive to their other attempts to communicate distress or need for attention, and try to tend to them before they turn to crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my family there's a big difference between a cry of sincere distress or pain, and a cry for attention or unhappiness. For the latter, how we respond depends a lot on the situation, but we teach them that crying isn't an acceptable way to get attention unless they are hurt,  and while crying itself is fine and an acceptable emotion, we suggest they seek ways to resolve the problem, rather than simply crying about it. If they are using crying as a method to get their way, we indicate they will need to do it elsewhere.  For us, crying isn't allowed to be used to manipulate others into getting your way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking them to share their feelings and then to think of ways to resolve the problem often resolves simple crying, and give them the tools to deal with it themselves as they grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, yes - there are times when crying is an inappropriate response (or less effective response) to a situation, and being told to stop crying is reasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-04-09T15:51:43.937" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12101" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12108" CreationDate="2014-04-10T00:45:48.540" Score="25" ViewCount="66287" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard all my life that walking barefoot on a cold floor would make me (when I was a child) more susceptible to catching a cold and things like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife keeps saying that to our child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any evidence (scientific is better) that this is true or false?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this some sort of urban legend?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE (Apr 10th) - I am specifically interested in the correlation between getting a cold and stepping barefoot on a clean, cold floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7244" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-15T00:41:39.630" LastActivityDate="2017-01-05T22:47:28.947" Title="Is walking barefoot bad for my child's health?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12101" CreationDate="2014-04-10T04:33:42.517" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer: No&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diseases like flu or cold are caused by viruses or bacteria, not walking barefoot. Disallowing shoes from being on the floor contributes to disease prevention. Our shoes track in everything that we stepped in while we were out and about (think of that dirty public restroom). Studies vary on barefoot benefits and drawbacks so you'll have to do some research in terms of that. I found no journal entries or books about being barefoot causing illness in my university's library. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T04:33:42.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12090" CreationDate="2014-04-10T06:35:26.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;+1 as the same problem I had! You spoke my words ;) But here, my daughter is 8 (and this problem still persists though it has become less frequent now!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, the problem of crying. Young ones often get disappointed or frustrated if the things don't work their way. On the other hand, it's not possible for parents to fulfill every wish they wish! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first issue you told in your question is you don't understand her question. There, the solution is try to ask her and understand what she wants. &lt;strong&gt;If possible,&lt;/strong&gt; give her what she wants and that's the only thing to deal with child's psychology. They are not mature enough to understand the finer nuance what we try to explain them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thing you said is because she wants something &lt;em&gt;right now&lt;/em&gt;. The only thing that works there is &lt;strong&gt;distract her mind&lt;/strong&gt; (that's what I practiced!) by taking her out or asking to play some game or whatever she likes the most (we know what our kids like...right?). Meanwhile, ask someone in your house (say your wife) to arrange for that thing that she wants &lt;strong&gt;right now&lt;/strong&gt;. Again, do this if &lt;strong&gt;that thing is possible.&lt;/strong&gt; If she asks for the moon, we are just helpless ;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tendency of crying frequently is seen in many kids (and I'm a healthcare provider with experience in pediatrics). And the only solution there is &lt;strong&gt;the time, the maturity&lt;/strong&gt; that comes naturally. When they grow older, this tendency goes. However, if the frequency is getting increased, we shouldn't take it lightly as in some rare cases, this tendency grows as stubbornness and from there, it takes the victim to the next level of depression. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What has worked in my case is whenever Rhyme (my daughter) cried for a trivial thing, I distracted her mind showing something that'll surprise her. At the age of five, they certainly understand our language and I'd always tell her that okay, what she wants will happen now...but see this....and then distraction. If they cry hard, on the other hand they forget soon (Thank God!). After that surprise element, the thing that she was crying for, in most of the cases, is forgotten. We can then tackle them the way we want. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she grows, tell her the &lt;strong&gt;value of crying&lt;/strong&gt; and inform her that frequent crying will lose its value (this has worked as surefire in my case). &lt;em&gt;&quot;If you cry seldom, everybody'll be bothered that something &lt;strong&gt;big&lt;/strong&gt; must have happened to you but then if you cry on trivial matters, how would we know that it's something very serious you are crying for.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; But of course, this matter she'll understand when she is nearly 8. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best and I hope she's back to her happiness and does not cry frequently. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A very good read is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_my-childs-teacher-says-he-cries-a-lot-over-minor-things-at-s_70234.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T06:35:26.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12098" CreationDate="2014-04-10T06:48:15.073" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Certainly. The genes matter. If I compare my kid's growth with American's I'll never consider my kid as a normal kid in weight and height! There is where the role of &lt;strong&gt;local government&lt;/strong&gt; comes. And, we should follow this because when they prepare such charts, they take utmost care and derive data from a lot of research and zillions of evidences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd rather recommend going for a regional kid's growth charge i.e. country-wise as compared to the growth chart for continents. That's because Asia is too big! The growth that you see in India is certainly different than in China/Japan. This includes the life expectancy, weight, height or things the like. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found it for you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Z9UCI.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/xosK7.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Very useful &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.iccg.ie/documents/uploaded/FCC%20Growth%20Charts.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;PDF download here.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure about Japanese growth chart as I could not find it. However, I recommend asking this on any local government website (or local search engine for that sake? Say Baidu?) and you'll get the Japanese one also. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T06:48:15.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12076" CreationDate="2014-04-10T06:59:24.707" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I upvoted Jeremy's comment and I strongly believe you should see some neonatologist for the same. No risk should be taken if it's the problem of a baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies cannot express the pain or indications the like. The commonest thing they do is crying. Also, if the baby is infested with worms, we &lt;strong&gt;may&lt;/strong&gt; see them in their stools. But smart little devil worms stick to the intestines and don't come out every time. Itchy bum is common but a 9-month-old may not express it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unusual crying, putting hands on stomach/abdomen and in some cases, increased appetite (because worms eat everything they eat!) &lt;strong&gt;may be&lt;/strong&gt; the symptom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found this and think is useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If your baby has a mild infection of threadworms, she may not show any symptoms. Check your baby’s bottom at night, after she has gone to bed. Gently part her buttocks and shine a torch around the opening of her bottom. If she has threadworms, you may be able to see one or more crawling out or around her pyjamas and bed sheets. You may also see threadworms in your baby’s stool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ever after all this, remember, see your pediatrician and don't rely on the Internet sources especially for the diagnosis and line of treatment. Internet may help you increase your knowledge about it and it should be used as a signaling tool than a doctor! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T06:59:24.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12101" CreationDate="2014-04-10T07:14:09.690" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;Walking barefoot is bad for a kid, really? Being a healthcare provider, I don't think so. But &lt;strong&gt;yes&lt;/strong&gt;, you have to take care that your kid does not touch its foot so as to avoid infection spreading from there to any other site on its body. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me get you some good references. The first one is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naturalnews.com/029433_children_barefoot.html#ixzz2ySsg7RP4&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Tracy Byrne, a podiatrist specializing in podopediatrics, explained in a recent Guardian article that walking barefoot helps children to build muscles and ligaments in their feet. It is also necessary for developing good posture, increasing strength, and improving children's awareness of the things around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A little precaution to be taken as mentioned here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;All things considered, it’s no wonder that you voted for barefoot walking as one of your top ten things to do before you’re 11 ¾.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;a) Take a towel with you to clean your feet before you put your socks back on. &lt;br/&gt;  b) &#xA;      Did you know that there are 700 different types of soil in England and Wales alone? That’s a lot of different things to feel under your feet &lt;br/&gt;  c) Keep your eyes open for glass or other things that might poke you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.chirohealthclinic.com.au/articles/articles/barefoot-benefits-for-kids-of-aall-ages&quot;&gt;Chiropractic health&lt;/a&gt; also recommends barefoot walking for kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from the health benefits, there's something interesting about your &lt;strong&gt;kid's growth of feet as body part/organs.&lt;/strong&gt; The research is here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Research published in podiatry journal The Foot in 2007 suggests that structural and functional changes can result from the foot having to conform to the shape and constriction of a shoe, rather than being allowed to develop naturally. And the younger the foot, the greater the potential for damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T07:14:09.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12090" CreationDate="2014-04-10T12:20:24.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's tricky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine the child wants a toy that is in a different, unacessible, location.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try saying &quot;Oh dear!  Do you want TOYNAME?  Is that why you are unhappy?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child might stop crying for long enough to say &quot;yes, that's what I want.&quot;  Often just acknowledging the problem is enough to stop crying.  But if it doesn't stop you can say things like &quot;you really like TOYNAME, don't you?&quot; And then &quot;what does TOYNAME do that you like so much?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You then use this conversation to provide distraction techniques or offer reassurance.  &quot;It is such a shame that we cannot get TOYNAME now.  Let's write a list so that we never forget it again!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T12:20:24.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12101" CreationDate="2014-04-10T13:46:06.643" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason being barefoot is linked to sickness is two things: people link being cold to getting a cold; and people see kids in developing countries and more rural locations in their own country barefoot and more often sick. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the former case,  while being VERY cold for a prolonged time can lead to weakening your immune system, but the reason we get colds in the winter is primarily the dry air, not being cold.  In the latter case, it's the lack of nutrition and medical care that results in the sickness - not walking barefoot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T13:46:06.643" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11730" CreationDate="2014-04-10T19:59:05.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing to consider, in addition to the other points of view here, is that children &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; perform better if they're older relative to other children in their grade, on average.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The UK for example did &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/182664/DFE-RR017.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a study&lt;/a&gt; on students' attainment of key goals by birth month, and found that at age 5, there was a 2.6% gap between fall-born children and summer-born children (ie, fall born = after the cutoff so the eldest children, summer born = the youngest).  That narrows as they age, but is still not insignificant (~1.3% by age 14).  That is the percent of students who reached key goals, so it's not intended to show magnitude of intelligence, just whether they hit a goal or not.  The basic ideas behind this is that an older child will have an easier time understanding material as his/her brain is more developed and he/she has learned how to learn better by that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, in athletics and other physical activities, there is a significant difference as well; this is fairly obvious, children who are nearly a year older will perform physical activities better than children nearly a year younger.  This is a mild concern because, while it does not necessarily drive academic achievement, it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; drive how a child fits into his/her peer group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, in your specific case, I'd be concerned that the 5yo gap is significant, since the child will be dealing with multiple languages and having to learn more than other 5yo children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-10T19:59:05.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11785" CreationDate="2014-04-11T02:34:09.023" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Karl Bielefeldt's answer is fantastic, but I would also consider the possibility that perhaps your boy is engaging in attention-getting behavior.  You mentioned that he is fantastic at home with a special needs and two-year-old sibling. You also said he has previously been getting good grades and judging by your post I'm assuming he's been well behaved up until now. I can relate to your situation both as a parent and as a person who grew up with a special needs sibling.  My own 9 year old boy has been having some behavioral issues lately (not as severe as you, but just as out of character.)  My brother has severe ADHD and is also brilliant and was, to put it mildly, all-consuming of my parents' time, energy, and focus.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;From all of this I have learned that it is easy to take a well-behaved, helpful, smart kid for granted. I felt taken for granted when I was young (actually, I felt invisible and less-loved, but therapy helped me have a more healthy perspective- eventually.) Then, I made the same mistake with my own child, to a lesser degree, but in both cases the result was the same: bad behavior to get the perceived &quot;fair share&quot; of attention.  I failed classes on purpose, skipped school, and was an emotional train wreck, having outbursts and tantrums for no reason.  A generation later, my boy was acting just like yours, where he's recently developed a bad attitude (talks back, disobeys on purpose, doesn't do his homework, lies about stuff at school) with the difference being he's worse at home. Try talking to your child and see if maybe he feels like nobody is paying attention to him. The fact that he is crying wolf (for instance, he claimed a bully was picking on him) sounds to me like a child who just wants someone to listen and feels as though he has to shout.  It may not be the case, but, it's important to get his perspective on this. I may be totally wrong, but it can't hurt to find out.  Even though I should've known better, it took my kid getting suspended and a few other deviant incidents for me to hear him &quot;shouting.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Another possibility is that it's not &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; attention he's seeking. He just experienced a shake up of his social circle. According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.eec.state.ma.us/docs1/forms_techasst/technical_assistance/child_guid_sa_3.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; document, children will act aggressively and take risks in order to establish their place in a group.  And, they don't necessarily know how to identify or deal with emotions. Your boy may be behaving erratically in response to the new crew at school, which is also likely stressing him out. He may not even know why he's doing what he's doing or feeling what he's feeling.  Again, you need to talk to him to find out. Helping him identify his emotions is first step towards learning to deal with them. Then you can work on what triggers them and work on better coping strategies.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your boy sounds so much like mine...my 9 year old is great great great with his younger brothers, he helps out around the house, is smart, funny, and generally easy going. His brothers are a handful! We were treating him like he was much older than 9, based on his responsible behavior, but he still has the emotional needs of, well, a 9 year old. An 8 (or 9) year old child values respect and acceptance by adults. So, to a certain extent, we were helping him by giving him responsibility, but were hurting him by not rewarding him for his grown up behavior.  Praise is very important, so easy to do, so easy to overlook, and, it's free.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fairness is also high on their priority list.  Kids this age are almost obsessive about fairness. They count fruit snacks, turns, and keep track of how many minutes so-and-so got to play on the swings. It might not be conscious counting, but it's there in their subconscious.  The lesson he needs to learn is that fair does not mean equal.  He's probably smart enough to understand that from a vocabulary angle, but you may need to provide examples. My boy gets upset sometimes that my husband and I spend about an hour getting the little ones to bed, and he gets a 5 min tuck in. We had to point out that he gets a full hour of us to himself every morning before school before the kids get up. Then, it was a non-issue.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what motivation your child has for acting out, it needs to stop.  I see that you have already gone down the punishment road.  Now, I would suggest you try to give your boy appropriate rewards for &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; behavior.  This will most likely be more effective than punishment for &lt;em&gt;bad&lt;/em&gt; behavior.  Discuss the rewards (whether they are good or bad) for certain behaviors with him. It will help him feel included and respected, and will also make it &quot;fair&quot; since he will have had some input and can anticipate a definite consequence for an action.  Let him know that you and the teacher are working together. Good behavior at school means rewards at home, just like bad behavior at school has led to punishment at home.  I had to get daily reports from my son's teacher for months. It eventually became weekly reports, and then nothing at all.  Each week where he earned good reports every day (good, not necessarily exceptional) he got to stay up an extra hour to watch a movie on Friday night. A single bad day was punished immediately, and, Friday night was off the table. This way, he had a much bigger incentive to behave than misbehave. This is just an example of what worked for us, your house/situation  will require your own unique formula.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I would also suggest that you allow him some alone time each day, and schedule one on one time with him too.  We were overlooking this with our son, and it turned out to be something he didn't even realize he needed. If school is troubling him lately, he will need some quality down time after school to collect himself and transition to the home environment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as Karl mentioned, it may just be a personality incompatibility between your son and the teacher. My son has had two teachers so far that he did NOT do well with. He was a &quot;troublemaker &quot; to both of these teachers, and went from bad to worse pretty quickly, until we all started working together. At the ripe old age of 9, he's pretty much figured out that sometimes people just don't like each other, but you have to get along anyway.  If this ends up being all or part of the problem, using the rewards system will &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; work. &#xA;Some folks disagree with the reward system, you can check it out &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5287/why-should-children-be-rewarded-for-good-behaviour&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and admittedly, I find the arguments against it logical, but, like any tool it's all about how you wield it. In some cases, like yours, it can get you &quot;out of the woods&quot; and back on course. It will build confidence at best, and will be a crutch until the school year ends at worst. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T02:34:09.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12090" CreationDate="2014-04-11T02:42:07.680" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, leading by example is still very effective.  We all experience her emotions and when thing seem hopeless, even adults cry.  The only real difference is the ability to think critically about a situation and ask ourselves how it can be appropriately addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the academic analysis aside, here's what I did with my daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I identified her emotion(s) and sympathsized with them (e.g. &quot;Oh, that is so frustrating, isn't it?&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I then validated her emotion(s) (thereby validating &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; in her perspective). (e.g. &quot;I can see why you feel that way.  I would, too.&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Next, I began by trying to change the view of the problem by getting her to begin thinking about it. (e.g. &quot;Do you think there is something &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; can do?  That way it isn't so frustrating.&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(a) If she said, &quot;&lt;em&gt;cry&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;cry&lt;/em&gt;, Yes.&quot; I either prompted for a reason or if it was readily provided, complimented her on the suggestion, validated it as an understandable way to see things, and then asked her questions about her proposal to help her better understand it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(b) If she said, &quot;&lt;em&gt;cry&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;cry&lt;/em&gt;, No!&quot;, then I'd ask her questions which led her into finding a solution which I felt was best.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did it work perfectly every time?  Of course not.  Sometimes it just concluded in a hug and a statement that I love her.  Over time, however, by showing her critical thinking (in how I addressed her) and teaching her critical thinking (in how I helped her to solve problems), crying as the primary means of initial problem handling was largely eliminated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the key things were validating her in both her feelings and thinking, converting her frustration into &lt;em&gt;our frustration&lt;/em&gt;, and asking questions which led her to her own conclusions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps you in helping her!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T02:42:07.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12114" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-11T06:55:23.190" Score="10" ViewCount="6034" Body="&lt;p&gt;After kindergarten class my son started first grade this fall in a new class, which was a mixup of children from the previous kindergarten classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are 15 boys and 10 girls in the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;10 of the boys are heavily into soccer as are most of their parents. My wife and I as well as the parents of the other 4 boys were a bit worried about this when we started out, and we brought it up at the first parents meeting. There we agreed to make sure that everybody prioritized class events in order to do our best to get a good class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has not worked out completely without problems. In the fall, a previously arranged class-event was moved by a soccer-parent to avoid clashing with a soccer-arrangement (and then it clashed with our sons sport instead), but we did not make an issue out of it. Also, most of the conflict in the class is initiated by the &quot;soccer-boys&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my sons 8 year birthday is coming up, and we just sent out invitations to the class. We agreed in the class, that birthdays can be for all the girls, all the boys or everybody, so we invited the boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today we started to get messages from the &quot;soccer-boys&quot; parents that they could not come to the birthday. Some did not give a reason, but one explained that there was a soccer tournament this weekend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are now anticipating cancellations from 10 out of 14 of the invited boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we are discussing whether we should just move the date or if we need to make an issue out of it now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is fairly popular in the class (despite not playing soccer), so it is not a popularity issue. But we are of course worried how this will affect him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do anyone have some good advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7255" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T22:28:59.367" Title="Classmates choosing soccer tournament over my sons birthday party" Tags="|school|sports|birthday|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12115" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-11T10:31:05.923" Score="-2" ViewCount="874" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there any natural home made equivalent recipes for baby formula milk . Is it possible to make natural formula milk at home itself containing all nutrients found in breast milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also  what other natural foodstuff can for a 1 year(9 month) old with the goal to gain weight? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Already we are giving breast milk and her mother is again 7 month pregnant and we forsee that breast milk would stop due to nearing the labour but that is not helping to gain weight as per the Indian standards and the pediatrician &lt;strong&gt;did not recommend lactogen&lt;/strong&gt; or any supplementation except Vit D and calcium but was worried about weight gain for which she asked to take natural food stuffs like mashed potatoes , egg yolk,etc  but this is not helping to gain the weight due to fussiness and &lt;strong&gt;we dont want to fall upon lactogen or any commercial feed&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-04-12T08:26:55.943" LastActivityDate="2014-04-12T09:33:56.930" Title="How to gain weight for one year infant" Tags="|infant|bottle-feeding|formula|babyfood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2014-05-01T10:46:03.117" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12114" CreationDate="2014-04-11T10:51:06.973" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Which notice came first? Did parents know about the tournament before the birthday party or vice-versa?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the tournament was known about first, it should have priority. If the opposite, then it's iffy. If you do make a big deal about it and the kids are, in a sense, forced to give up watching soccer, a sport they enjoy, they may end up resenting your son. With that in mind, you should readdress the previous conversation as it seems to be a lingering problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whoa whoa whoa. Hold the phone. If you are talking about that group &lt;strong&gt;playing&lt;/strong&gt; in a tournament, too bad, so sad. You can't viably request an entire event like a soccer tournament be cancelled for a birthday party. Now, if it's watching, which I had originally assumed, then the original answer stands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-04-12T02:32:10.523" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12114" CreationDate="2014-04-11T11:12:42.040" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you DO make an issue out of it, what will be the result?  Will the other 10 families start to consider everyone else in their priorities and scheduling, or will they apologize and keep right on with what they're doing?  It's apparent they feel that having their children participate in soccer is a higher priority than having their children participate in events with their classmates.  And it could be these families feel that, with 2/3 of the males in the class participating in this sport, they're getting both at once.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is still friends with these boys, so his participation in a different sport isn't hurting him with his peers.  And there are still 10 other children (the girls!) who have not been invited who might be able to come and will boost the numbers so he doesn't feel like his party is not well attended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're worried about repercussions within the peer group, ask your son what he would like to do.  My kids are slightly younger than 8, but rescheduling due to a conflict is certainly something that's much higher on MY radar than theirs.  See how he feels about it and get his  input.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure I'd choose this particular hill to die on, though.  If your end result isn't likely to be the one you'd want, you're likely tilting at windmills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T11:12:42.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12114" CreationDate="2014-04-11T13:30:08.023" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A possible option, if you can manage to get it going on such short notice, is having the birthday party as an afterparty to the tournament. I don't know if you can find a place near the tournament grounds that can handle so many kids on such short notice though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7257" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T13:30:08.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12114" CreationDate="2014-04-11T13:52:06.673" Score="37" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me, this sounds like much ado about nothing.  Your son needs to learn how to socialize and how to make friends; sounds like he's done that already, so that's not your problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what is your problem?  The fact that some kids aren't coming to a birthday party?  Sounds like a good opportunity for a conversation with your son about the real world.  People have priorities, and sometimes they choose differently from you.  That's life.  His friends need to decide between going to soccer and going to his party, and he needs to choose between holding his party on that day or having it another day.  That's life, and it's the sort of life lesson you actually &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; learn at 8 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You talk a lot about yourself in the question, but you didn't talk at all about how he feels about this.  Does he care?  Does he want a birthday party with all of his friends?  Find out, and give him the choice.  If it's expensive to move it (like, you booked something expensive that's non-refundable), tell him that, and he can either have his nicer party with four people or Chuck E Cheese's [or equivalent cheaper party] with the whole group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By eight years old, he's old enough that the parents shouldn't be the primary drivers of socialization between him and his friends.  Let him decide what he wants to do and go with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T13:52:06.673" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12120" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-11T14:35:27.873" Score="1" ViewCount="7951" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 5 months old next week and since about 3 months old (when he entered the ‘wakeful’ period) has gotten into the bad habit of snacking and catnapping, as well as feeding to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He’ll only eat a few ounces at a time, and then has to be fed in order to go to sleep (feeding seems to be the only way to even make him drowsy). He will typically only nap for 40-45 minutes and then can only stay awake for an hour and a half or so, which is very frustrating as his naps always seem to coincide with his feeding!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like I mentioned, he’s gotten into the habit of snacking – he eats a few ounces when first up and then has a few more before going down for a nap. I feel like I spend ALL day either feeding him or putting him down for a nap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bedtime isn’t as bad – he usually goes to sleep between 6:30-7:30pm and has gotten better at going down ‘drowsy but awake’, although we’re still having several night wakings in which he is awake (we always check to make sure he’s not just fussing in his sleep) and requires a quick sip of a bottle to go back to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I’d like to get him on some sort of routine/schedule, but I have no idea where to even begin. I’m about to just put him down wide awake and let him CIO, but I wondered if anyone had any advice to put an end to the snacking and the short naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7258" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-04-11T16:26:20.473" LastActivityDate="2014-04-14T11:51:07.240" Title="Need help with snacking/catnapping 5 month old!" Tags="|infant|sleep|feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12120" CreationDate="2014-04-11T16:29:45.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few things are going to happen if they haven't already with your infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, you're going to start feeding him solid foods.  That will change some of his dependence on breastfeeding to 'feel full'.  It won't happen immediately, but it will change as you feed him more.  It also will allow you to ease him into a schedule, if you are careful; you can feed him solids at particular regular time points (8am breakfast, 12pm lunch, 6pm dinner, sort of thing) which will help get him used to sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second off, as he grows, his stomach should expand and be ready to eat more at once.  You should by now be able to modify his eating schedule simply by holding out on food for a little while - ie, don't just feed him when he asks.   Feed him when he asks &lt;em&gt;plus 30 minutes&lt;/em&gt;.  Start moving him towards a bottle feeding schedule, where he eats every 3 or so hours (this 'or so' depends on the infant).  This will encourage him to eat until he is full, which is going to be a larger amount of food, and help with some of the sleep issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, make sure you don't have health issues that are making this worse.  Make sure he doesn't have acid reflux, for example.  Check with your pediatrician regularly about this, and see what they think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-04-11T17:12:15.830" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T17:12:15.830" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12122" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-04-11T18:55:54.787" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-04-11T18:55:54.787" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T18:55:54.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12123" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-04-11T18:55:54.787" Score="0" Body="Formula as in formula milk which is a composite nutritional supplement in the form of milk powder for infants and toddlers." OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-04-11T19:14:02.883" LastActivityDate="2014-04-11T19:14:02.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12124" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12128" CreationDate="2014-04-12T00:18:36.957" Score="4" ViewCount="1059" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 14 weeks pregnant and I am seriously considering homeschooling for my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I learn more about homeschooling in general, and specifically for single moms who have to work? Are any of you single parents who have successfully homeschooled your children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6914" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-04-12T16:06:59.043" LastActivityDate="2018-06-20T11:50:59.200" Title="Single Working Mom Wishes to Homeschool Child" Tags="|homeschooling|single-parent|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12115" CreationDate="2014-04-12T09:33:56.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's the problem. Your doctor has recommended a particular solution. Anything we recommend would be a second opinion &lt;em&gt;against their recommendation&lt;/em&gt;, and taking our advice over a doctor's would be... not good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing to do is to &lt;strong&gt;overcome the fussiness&lt;/strong&gt;. Either mix something you know your child likes into the mash, or instead of egg-yolks, make an omlette. Experiment with other high-carb/fat foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eat with them so that they feel like an adult by eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at one year, you're able to switch to full-fat cow's milk, so I'd start with that and proper food, and watch for any signs of nutritional deficiencies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2014-04-12T09:33:56.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12114" CreationDate="2014-04-12T10:54:37.260" Score="7" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There we agreed to make sure that everybody prioritized class events in order to do our best to get a good class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, you didn't agree. It is possible that no one spoke out against this suggestion when it was made, but that is probably mostly due to an intense social pressure in the situation. Can you imagine someone in the situation saying: &quot;I don't think we should prioritize class events over soccer.&quot; without branding themselves as egoistical?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately there is realistically no way of making such an agreement. There are always going to be things that have greater priority, but there is no way to make a consensus about what those things are. You wouldn't want the other parents to decide what is and isn't important enough for you and your child to miss a birthday party either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forget that &quot;agreement&quot;, you can't enforce it, trying to do so will only create strife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look at it pragmatically, next time if you consult one of the soccer parents before deciding on the date you can deal with a lot of potential calendar conflicts in an efficient manner. This time, reschedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7268" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-04-12T11:56:51.130" LastActivityDate="2014-04-12T11:56:51.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12127" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12131" CreationDate="2014-04-12T15:41:57.160" Score="2" ViewCount="1049" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby started to sleep only 30 minutes in a stroller. The rest of the time he looks around or just looks at me. It doesn't matter if a stroller is moving or standing in place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can I help him sleep longer? I'm wondering if he doesn't sleep because he is not comfortable in the stroller (it doesn't fully recline - uppa baby vista)? Or he is just too curious about the singing birds, cars and other outside noises?&#xA;(At home he sleeps from 45 minutes, up to 1.5 hours)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;thank you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6877" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-04-12T22:38:53.413" LastActivityDate="2014-04-12T22:38:53.413" Title="6 month old baby sleeps 30 minutes in a stroller" Tags="|sleep|stroller|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12124" CreationDate="2014-04-12T16:05:53.257" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing you need to homeschool your child is an adult who can spend the hours of 9am-3pm with the child. This is also the requirement with the longest lead time. Some of the ways people are able to arrange this include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be a 2-adult family, one works for income and the other homeschools the children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be a 2-adult family, one works days and does childcare in the evening, the other homeschools in the days and works in the evening (this is a VERY hard way to live)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be independently wealthy so you don't need to work and can concentrate on your child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be on social assistance so you don't need to work and can concentrate on your child (many feel the disadvantages of living on such a low income would outweigh the benefits of home schooling)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;home school your child in the daytime, and send them to a daycare in the evenings or overnight while you work (also a VERY hard way to live, and such daycare is likely to be hard to find and expensive)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;work at something your child can accompany you to, such as driving a school bus morning and afternoon, working in a small retail establishment that allows quiet school age children to spend all day there reading or doing worksheets etc, and actively teach them when you're not at work (days or evenings according to your work schedule.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;work from home on something very interruptable so you can get 8 hours of work in during a 16 hour period of being awake, and teach your children the other half of the time. Again for some of your work time they might be doing schoolwork, but they will need active teaching every day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of these require a LOT of advance planning. For most, the benefits of homeschooling are unlikely to outweigh the costs (primarily a lost salary) unless you know the benefit to your specific child is far more than it would be to most other children. It's hard to imagine you would know this now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The actual mechanics of schooling the child - getting curriculum, getting materials, working out a schedule, obtaining permission from the local authorities, and the like - probably take only a matter of weeks or months. You can wait until your child is nearing school age to make this decision and get the wheels in motion. But being free during the day to spend the time to homeschool? That's a much bigger problem to tackle, and one it does make sense to think about now. You might start looking for a specific job, take some specific training (only certain jobs can be done as shift work), or start looking for a friend with whom you could form a 2-adult household (eg two single mothers as room-mates) in order to have more options. You might also start your own business - if the store, restaurant, or home office belongs to you, then allowing your children to be in it may or may not be practical but at least it will be your decision, not something you have to ask a boss for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We homeschooled one of our children afternoons only in response to issues the school was not helping with. The prepping for that (Grade 7 and 8) took less than a day. Being able to change our schedules so one of us could be at the school at noon to pick up our child, collect assignments and such from teachers, and then between us put in 4 hours of teaching and supervision every day - that took about 20 years, but luckily we had already started :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-04-14T13:47:59.243" LastActivityDate="2014-04-14T13:47:59.243" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12129" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-12T16:20:55.187" Score="2" ViewCount="206" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a very stubborn, strong headed 3 year old. How do I teach him about earning privileges? I hope I do a good job explaining myself...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I don't want to give him a treat (present, tv show, etc..) unless he has been behaving (cleanup his toys, not yell when frustrated).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how to communicate to him that his good behavior over a period of time is what counts. Not just his immediate current state.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if I deny him his tv show because he has been a terror he will pout &quot;I will behave&quot;, but he doesn't understand that that means good behavior over a period of time starting now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when he sees he doesn't get his tv show immediately on his &quot;I will behave statement&quot; he goes ballistic. I can't explain to him that he is not behaving anymore by throwing a tantrum. I can see in his little mind this being a catch-22, &quot;I am presently behaved &amp;amp;&#xA;not getting my reward&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6222" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-04-13T14:34:22.017" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T22:12:20.917" Title="How do I teach a younger child to wait, or earn, future reward?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|reward|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2014-04-12T18:01:44.867" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a single father with a work from home business I spend plently of time working and &quot;babysitting&quot; at the same time. Originally I did have the problem of having my little monster jumping all over my laptop and screaming for his turn to play which made it very hard for me to concentrate. As I started to think about a solution I had to understand what the key problem was... which was as long as he couldn't reach my laptop he may scream for a moment but then give up and turn to something else. So how do you keep it out of reach and still use it?.... simple two words... Laptop Desk. &#xA;From around £12 on ebay these desks are 80cm tall and are perfect for use on sofas just like dinner desks used by the elderly.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It worked for me so give it a try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7273" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-04-12T22:52:08.033" LastActivityDate="2014-04-12T22:52:08.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12127" CreationDate="2014-04-12T21:49:37.540" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;By six months you should not be using the stroller for sleep, at least by design. It's not a problem if the child does sleep in it, but don't focus on the length and don't use them for primary naps. Half an hour is plenty for a catnap; if you are looking for a full nap, put the child in his or her crib. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By that age, most children are large enough that the stroller is not very comfortable to sleep in.  Many children like to roll some during sleep, which is not possible in an upright stroller. Further, the neck position is not ideal upright. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, yes, your child is interested in things outside more and more. That undoubtedly contributes to the child wanting to look around and not sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-12T21:49:37.540" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12132" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12145" CreationDate="2014-04-13T00:35:52.047" Score="4" ViewCount="364" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl is just about to turn one month.  I'm looking to get some deeper understanding of what she's feeling and what's frustrating her when she's unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She fusses, and sometimes screams furiously, when she is put down, whether on her back or stomach, or in a swing.  She's generally less fussy when in the Baby Bjorn, especially if I'm moving, and likes to be rocked or bounced when held.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, often even rocking or bouncing her won't work, and she seems to be very uncomfortable and frustrated, kicking her legs and waving her arms.  At these times two methods calm her without fail: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Holding her under the armpits and lifting her slowly up and down, using my fingers to balance her head from the back.  The problem is I can't keep this up long, as it quickly tires my shoulders and arms.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Putting her in a warm bath.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to know if these preferences might indicate something more general that I could do to keep her comfortable and less fussy -- something that doesn't involve a continuous bath or weightlifing with a 10lb baby for hours :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried swaddling and shushing, but these generally don't help in her case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should also add that all of the above is referring to times where she's already been recently fed and changed, so those aren't what's causing her discomfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks so much for any advice!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7275" LastEditorUserId="7275" LastEditDate="2014-04-14T15:45:31.630" LastActivityDate="2017-05-15T06:50:25.530" Title="Understanding why my baby is fussing" Tags="|behavior|newborn|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12132" CreationDate="2014-04-13T11:21:07.757" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;All those things would calm down my toddler too,  they like to be warm and near you, baby bjorn was my daughter preffered place to nap. Sometimes they are fussy just because they want to do something or reach something and they can't do it or they have tooth ache or stomach ache... you can not keep them happy 100 % of the time but another thing that every child love and especially babies is music, it doesn't have to be a lullaby,  try different generes and you will see her reactions, I love listening to music and dancing with my daughter and so she does since she was born.&#xA;Another thing that my daughter loves is tickles and some massages after bath when you put some body cream on her. But you surely will know all this things already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for not being more concrete or give you a real answer but i think that you are already putting all your effort in trying to understand and please your baby and this is the most important in my opinion,  they need to be listen and feel loved as everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4099" LastEditorUserId="4099" LastEditDate="2014-04-13T11:33:54.870" LastActivityDate="2014-04-13T11:33:54.870" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12132" CreationDate="2014-04-13T13:24:14.807" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a tough one. Newborn babies generally only cry for three reasons (this is an oversimplification at best): hungry, wet, or hot/cold. Since you mentioned this can happen after being fed or after a changing, that rules two out. You also mentioned swaddling. What do you swaddle with? Is it a warm blanket or just a regular thin blanket? Perhaps she is cold? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my daughter, as a newborn, got like this we would put her in a warm bath and afterwards we would lather her up with some Baby Bedtime Lotion (this isn't a promotion for Johnson and Johnson, we used the store brand). If you haven't tried that, give it a go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;11 hours later&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started writing this answer as soon as the question came up, but I wasn't quite ready to post yet. I wanted a little more time to think. Two thoughts have come up in my mind since then:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are you stressed? Babies feed off of our emotions. If we are happy, generally, they are too. If we are stressed or anxious, so are they. I remember when my daughter was an infant and I had to put her to bed because mama had other plans on certain nights. My daughter would fuss for hours and hours on end and I would get even more anxious as time grew on. Eventually someone told me that she probably sensed I was nervous and thus it made her nervous. What do you know; when I calmed down and dealt with the fussiness calmly, she calmed down too. Are you remaining calm while she is fussy? Are there external factors that are affecting your stress level (above the norm of being a mom)? Are you anxious about something? Nervous? If this is the case, perhaps you should slow down with your baby, sit on the couch, put your feet up and relax. Maybe this will help her relax too. There is &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; harm in taking a break every now and then.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Breast-fed, formula-fed, or combined? How is her diet? If you are relying solely on formula, could that be causing her some gastrointestinal issues? Is she gassy? Does she spit up more than what you have seen with other children? If so, this could be indicative of incompatibility with the formula brand. If you are breast-feeding, what is &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; diet? If you are eating unhealthy or even healthy foods that are potentially spicy or have very potent flavors (garlic, onion, peppers), this may be affecting her stomach also. What about your caffeine intake? Caffeine has the potential to have the same effects on her as it does you. If you find yourself at greater than 2 cups of coffee, more than one soda, or even caffeinated tea, she may be getting some of that, assuming you are breastfeeding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are just some thoughts that came up in my head. I know a fussy baby can be stressful. I think everyone who participates on this website has been in that situation (otherwise we wouldn't be here asking for help).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-04-13T13:24:14.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12129" CreationDate="2014-04-13T14:47:48.043" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is as much a problem with adults as children.  Think of your work situation.  You start the year, your boss (implicitly or explicitly) says &quot;Do a good job this year and you will get a raise&quot;.  Twelve months later, you're told you didn't do a good enough job and don't get a raise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternately, your boss has a list of goals, and periodically discusses with you your progress towards those goals.  Every six weeks you sit down and see where you are.  By the end of the period, it's not a surprise whether you get that raise or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which one would you prefer?  Pretty much everyone prefers the latter, and your child should also.  Obvious, visual representations of the goals and progress towards them are key.  Star charts are a very good option; each time he does something towards the goal, he gets a star, and he knows how many stars are needed to get to the reward.  Color meters are good for behavior issues; start the day on green, positive things move it up (to more-green?) while negative things move it down (towards red).  &quot;If you end the day on green, you can watch TV.  If you end on red, you can't.  On yellow, you get half the normal TV time.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, use SMART goals (this is another business-world term): Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound.  Make sure your goals are specific (not &quot;behave at the store&quot;, but specific elements like &quot;Stay within arms reach of me at the store, keep your voice to a normal level, and do not grab anything off the shelf we didn't ask you to take&quot;.)  Make sure they are measurable - either clear binaries (do not do X specific thing) or countable limits (&quot;Have fewer than 3 accidents&quot;).  Achievable - things he actually could accomplish, specific to his personality.  Relevant - as much as possible the goal should be somehow related to the reward (&quot;Eat at least 1/2 of your dinner and you can have dessert&quot;).  Time-bound: the goal should be limited in time and explicitly stated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's pretty important for kids, because they need to be able to achieve their goals most of the time.  If you're setting too difficult goals (either expecting perfection when perhaps 95% performance would do, or goals that are just too complicated or inappropriate to their personality) they will fail repeatedly, and will start thinking that they are failures and/or are going to fail before they've tried - and thus won't try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep SMART goals and visual representations and he will have a much easier time understanding - and will over time learn some understanding of long-term goal to reward relationships as well.  Expecting a child to understand that relationship without explicit progress signals is a mistake, as it's not something adults do well with either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-13T14:47:48.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12114" CreationDate="2014-04-13T14:51:48.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would think it much better to plan for a birthday party on a weekend when there isn't a big tournament to play in or watch.  Does it really matter if the birthday is celebrated on the exact day?  Give the kid a choice.  Perhaps he would rather have four of his closest friends and some family at a time when it is good for all than be responsible for inviting a whole class of resentful kids who would perhaps rather be somewhere else and would leave early anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only had two birthdays in my long life.  One when I was 13 and had three girlfriends in to dinner that my mother prepared where everything matched the table cloth.  (even green mashed potatoes) then a movie and when I was 65 and was eligible for the Old Age Pension.  A party I almost missed.  Now parties for kids are so common that many have to give up a lot to please the host parents.  Heaven help them if they can't make it to one of the parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7279" LastActivityDate="2014-04-13T14:51:48.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12137" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12139" CreationDate="2014-04-13T17:37:31.473" Score="4" ViewCount="1921" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11-months toddler drinks around 1 liter of water a day. He likes to drink and drinking also calms him down sometimes. He is breast-fed one time a day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can too much water lower the level of an important minerals? For 11 months toddler? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ps. I have seen many questions about drinking water and none of them address my concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4370" LastActivityDate="2014-04-13T18:56:31.740" Title="Can too much water lower the level of an important minerals? In 11 months toddler?" Tags="|toddler|water|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11567" CreationDate="2014-04-13T18:00:20.583" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There have been studies done with healthy infants whose ankles were tied to a mobile with a ribbon (the earliest of these is cited below; it has been oft-repeated with additional variables). The reward of the mobile moving produced more leg-kicking. This confirms not only that  infants watch mobiles, but also that they attempt to interact with mobiles and that they remember simple cause and effect. Infants tested 1-3 days after their first training with a mobile remembered the mobile and immediately interacted with it. A 3-minute reminder session would alleviate forgetting after a 4-week interval of not being with the mobile. Researchers also found that if you introduce a new element to a 5-element mobile or moved the mobile to a different environment (new background, different smells or lighting), memory is reduced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So beyond providing stimulation, mobiles appear to aid in the development of memory and the understanding of cause and effect!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rovee-Collier CK, Gekoski MJ. The economics&#xA;of infancy: a review of conjugate&#xA;reinforcement. In: Reese HW, Lipsitt LP,&#xA;eds. &lt;em&gt;Advances in Child Development&#xA;and Behavior&lt;/em&gt;, Vol 13. New York, NY:&#xA;Academic Press; 1979:195–255. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-04-13T18:00:20.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12137" CreationDate="2014-04-13T18:56:31.740" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe what you are asking about is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stlouischildrens.org/articles/wellness/water-intoxication-in-infants&quot;&gt;water intoxication&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;To answer your question simply, yes, too much water, especially in a very short amount of time, can lower sodium levels for an 11 month old, an 11 year old, or pretty much anyone at any age. Babies younger than 6 months and athletes are the most vulnerable.  Symptoms of water intoxication are (to name a few) drowsiness, confusion, weakness, fluttering eyelids, and, seizures.  Besides age and activity level (in the case of athletes) the other factor that increases risk is a recent bout of diarrhea or any other illness that causes dehydration.  Since your child is older than 6 months, is not a marathon runner, and (I assume) has not had a recent illness, he is therefore highly unlikely to be at risk for water intoxication, which very rarely affects &quot;normal&quot; people.&#xA;Based on your statement that your child is drinking 1 liter a day and the recommendation of 1.3 liters of total fluid intake for a child his age (which includes the water that is in food and other sources) I doubt your baby is drinking enough to put him at risk.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The only thing that &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be an issue is the loss of appetite that can result from a belly full of water which would &lt;em&gt;perhaps&lt;/em&gt; prevent your child from getting enough vitamins and minerals because he's not eating as much, but honestly, this seems to be a stretch.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I would say that if your baby is otherwise healthy, gaining weight, and happy, his water consumption probably isn't anything to be worried about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-04-13T18:56:31.740" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12140" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12141" CreationDate="2014-04-13T21:30:03.747" Score="4" ViewCount="442" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am having some trouble to get my daughter of 2 months to go to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until now, it was very easy to get her to sleep, and she slept most of the day and night. However, a week ago, it began to be increasingly difficult. Now she barely sleeps during the day, and at night, putting her to sleep can last until 2 am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we are doing : we feed her, then we cuddle for a while. Trouble begins when we put her in bed, where she begins to cry, going crescendo.&#xA;Lullabies no longer work, neither does reassuring. Taking her seems to be the only option, and she does calm down (along with some burping she probably got from crying). She can even fall asleep in our arms ! But as soon as we put her back, she wakes up and cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything we can do ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:57:15.973" Title="How to get a new born to sleep?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12140" CreationDate="2014-04-14T06:18:09.597" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are as many answers to your question as there are children - even my two were entirely different.  Look at the various questions we have had on the subject to get some ideas, certainly; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4791/how-can-we-get-our-newborn-to-sleep-at-night-as-soundly-as-he-does-in-the-day?rq=1&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7116/my-3-month-old-gets-up-10-15-times-a-night?rq=1&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;, etc.  The &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/sleep&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;sleep&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;sleep&lt;/a&gt; tag is full of good answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your specific case, I would look at a couple of possibilities.  Has something physically changed?  Maybe she's outgrown her current pajamas and they're too tight?  Maybe she is getting too warm in the swaddling blanket, or as Dan noted in the comments, needs swaddling?  Maybe she's a very early teether, or has some low grade infection (does she have a fever?).  Lots of small possibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also possible that it's none of the above; she's just in a stage.  Sorry about that, but we all have gone through them - my almost three year old is going through one now, he wakes up most nights with a nightmare.  Thanks, growing imagination and mental capacities.  It happens, and sometimes you just can't fix it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's too much for you, consider working things out with your SO where one of you sleeps all night somewhere else - downstairs, at a friend's or relative's house, etc. - alternate nights, or even better, swap after 2 or 3 nights (one night often isn't enough).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider a sleep specialist.  A friend of mine had great success with one; she came over, helped teach the parents how to get their baby to sleep, and also helped teach the baby how to go to sleep - and largely their problems went away after a few more days, although who knows if this was a placebo effect or not.  Still, they were a big fan, and if nothing else they had someone to take care of the overnights for a few nights.  You could even hire a babysitter for the night as needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do pay attention to your needs, though, as it's likely to spill over to the baby (especially if she's nursing - stress hormones seem to go through).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-04-14T06:18:09.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12140" CreationDate="2014-04-14T09:06:32.667" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies do sleep a lot in the first 6 weeks - anything else expends too much energy. In fact, my first didn't even bother to wake to feed most of the time, she would just feed as she slept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that your baby is only tiny still, barely fresh from the womb. She is not designed to be put down and left - consider young monkeys, so attached to their mums that they literally cling to their fur as mum wanders about and feeds herself. Your baby is as yet unaware of the social pressures put upon babies to go to bed at a set time and sleep for a predefined length of time. Her little body will only recently be starting to settle into an appropriate biological cycle (circadian rhythm) - that is, she is only just learning the difference between night and day. You can help this along by regular feedings in the day, opening the curtains and ensuring she can see that is bright/light outside and then winding down gradually in the evening, but it is far too early to expect her to just lie down and go to sleep at X time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If holding your baby helps her sleep then the logical answer is to hold your baby. Take it in turns with each parent if necessary, but at this stage of parenting the priority should be on keeping everyone rested and trying to shush baby to sleep til 2am rests nobody. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7221" LastActivityDate="2014-04-14T09:06:32.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12144" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-14T17:03:39.977" Score="6" ViewCount="113" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com.br/search?q=rubber+duck&amp;amp;tbm=isch&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;these ducks&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My little one loves her ducks, some ducks friends, a small manual portable shower, and so on: all they go to her bathtub and we play a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, although I squeeze, shake, dry using a hair-blower, there's always some water left inside. And no matter how I clean using hot water, put them in the boiling water on my stove, after some time I can notice that something (algae?) is developing inside. So I go and try everything again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I clean them after every bath ? Or how can I clean them every x days? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edit&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those cheaper ducks could be thrown away, but some of the others are hard to find/expensive. And the mini-shower wouldn't have any fun without splashing real water (that we use to bath the ducks during the bath).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reference: an almost duplicate question but with different answers: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3599/cleaning-bathtub-toys-that-squirt-water?rq=1&quot;&gt;Cleaning bathtub toys that squirt water&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:52:29.873" Title="How to properly clean the ducks and his friends?" Tags="|toys|cleaning|bathing|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-04-21T19:03:29.423" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12132" CreationDate="2014-04-14T17:12:24.520" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few more possibilities to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A cranky tummy, particularly when recently fed. Young babies gastrointestinal system may not be moving things along smoothly. You can try and figure this out by seeing how baby responds to different positions. One good test to differentiate &quot;tummy&quot; from lonely / bored is to lie down on your back, with baby on your tummy in the &quot;problem&quot; positions. If they were just wanting attention they'll be happy. Note the timing can vary -- shortly after feeding is most common, however some babies will have trouble a few hours later.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lonely - All babies want to be close to their caregivers. The amount can very greatly for any kid, but most every kid will fuss when they want more attention. You can separate this need out from others by giving baby light interaction, and see if that makes them happy. Bear in mind if they are hurting their happiness will improve with the interaction, but they will still be prone to fussiness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bored - I want to play with something fun! This can seem like &quot;lonely&quot; as well (since playing with a caregiver is usually fun) but a neat toy will make them happy as well. Note this is frequently something that goes along with &quot;sleepy&quot; for babies that fight sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your baby, my guess is cranky tummy. If so, a bouncy with a strong vibrator may do wonders -- the vibrations help things move along in the digestive system, without needing a caregiver to hold / bounce them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7165" LastActivityDate="2014-04-14T17:12:24.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3599" CreationDate="2014-04-14T23:53:31.847" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have three solutions to this, depending on the toy:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the toy is a must-have: A solution of Milton, or other mild sterilising solution&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If we can modify it a bit: drill more holes in it to get a proper cleaning flow through&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it is unloved enough: ditch it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In saying that, though - most of our ducks are owned by the parents, not the kids (it started with me getting a signed Christopher Brookmyre duck...and I seem to keep getting celebrity ducks...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-04-14T23:53:31.847" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12147" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12169" CreationDate="2014-04-15T03:38:28.163" Score="12" ViewCount="3692" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife stays at home with our 4yo and I work full time. We moved to our current city a year ago and do not have many friends or family in the area. She feels isolated and depressed, and also guilty for not having the energy to give our son the amount of positive attention he deserves. I try to do everything I can to help. Basically, I take over all parenting responsibilities as soon I get home from work so that she can have at least a couple of hours alone to work on her writing career or just to relax. But she is getting more and more worn down as time goes on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our financial situation is such that additional daycare or paid activities are not really an option. What else can I do to help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7285" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T12:48:44.143" Title="How to help my wife cope w/ being a stay-at-home mom" Tags="|parents|stay-at-home|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12147" CreationDate="2014-04-15T03:52:14.803" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are in the US, you might suggest she check out your local public library. Most have many free programs for children. It's also a great way to connect with other mothers. Even if your wife doesn't go to the programs with your child, it's an outing to a safe place, educational for both her and your child. She will see friendly people, and she can check out books or magazines or DVDs. Some libraries have play areas for children. Most libraries are not the quiet places they used to be. And they are all free!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T03:52:14.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12132" CreationDate="2014-04-15T05:29:17.693" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you checked her for the symptoms of reflux/silent reflux? Dr Sears' book had a good set of symptoms that were a help for us when we were trying to find the problem. Google it for more info through &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com.au/a567208/reflux&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com.au/a567208/reflux&lt;/a&gt; was a good overview. She might need some help with managing it if she does have it. It went away by 10 months for my first (no reflux in my second). We managed it by raising her cot so she slept inclined, keeping her upright for 30 mins after a feed. Check with your doc first but infant Gaviscon really helped her. If it is really bad they might prescribe something stronger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7287" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T05:29:17.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12150" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12165" CreationDate="2014-04-15T05:39:06.733" Score="17" ViewCount="11562" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought and installed an electrical outlet with USB chargers. Then, I childproof the power outlet and wondered if the USB ports needed to be childproof too? What if my two-year-old toddler put a flat screw driver in to it? Would it be problematic? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I've emailed the manufacturer and they gave a similar answer to what you guys give -- There is no harm to the child but in the case of short circuit we have to rely on the fuse and the breaker. So Thanks every one for the answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7286" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-30T00:17:53.623" LastActivityDate="2018-07-30T00:17:53.623" Title="If and how to childproof USB outlet for a 2-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12147" CreationDate="2014-04-15T10:20:08.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you found any colleagues at work with kids? Ask them for suggestions. While they might not have kids of the right age for playdates, they may know of other families through their daycare, church, neighbors, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also ask about free opportunities in the city for families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4060" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T10:20:08.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3599" CreationDate="2014-04-15T11:28:45.163" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;To piggy-back just a bit on what Rory said, we regularly fill a sink with 4 parts water to 1 part bleach, drop the ducks in there, squeeze them a couple of times to fill them with the solution, and let them sit for a while (usually overnight). In the a.m., we empty the solution, squeeze the water out of them, fill the sink again with clean water, repeat the squeeze-to-fill routine, and let them sit for a while longer.  Then we empty the water from the basin, squeeze as much water out of the ducks as possible, and they can go back into the tub for playtime for another week or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T11:28:45.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12156" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12166" CreationDate="2014-04-15T12:25:50.750" Score="10" ViewCount="32157" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've started potty-training our 20 months old girl, during a 10 day vacation (from work and daycare). At first she would not sit on the potty, but that improved after the first few hours and now she mostly has no problems with the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that she doesn't seem to know when she is about to urinate - she will go around the house or play and suddenly start peeing. When she notices this she would start saying &quot;pee pee&quot;, but we are pretty sure it's from seeing the pee come out or feeling it run down her legs, and not from knowing that she is peeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried various suggestion we've read on-line - having her in underwear or naked, praising (and rewarding) every attempt to use the potty (and the few successful hits), playing with a doll that also goes potty, asking her if she needs potty (the answer is always &quot;no&quot;, even if she would then pee 30 seconds later), sitting her on the potty for a 10-15 minutes, etc. We are careful to have a positive atmosphere, never scolding her about the accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can go for an hour or more without peeing, both when with a diaper and without one. She also seems to be able hold peeing - sometimes she would pee, notice it and stop. Then pee a little again after 5 minutes. This might go on a few more times, until she lets go a lot of pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're worried that she is just getting frustrated - she seems to understand that peeing is in the potty, but doesn't know when she needs to pee. Is this something that is developed during the potty-training? Or is this something that just has to come with time and we can't really do anything about? Since toddlers (and babies) have been (and still are in various other cultures) potty trained this young and younger, apparently without a problem, we hope that she will soon learn to recognize when she needs to pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7290" LastActivityDate="2018-10-15T20:19:14.663" Title="Potty training 20 months old, doesn't know when she needs to go" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12156" CreationDate="2014-04-15T12:37:23.453" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's not quite ready. Keep her in a nappy for the next few months. Do keep the potty around and encourage her to sit on it, and get used to it, but keep the nappies on for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My toddler was the same. We were convinced that by some trick we'd make her understand the peeing thing. She didn't... then one day she just got it. I don't think it was anything we did really, she was just ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure younger children are routinely potty trained. And if they are, perhaps it is more the parent who is potty trained - they're constantly watching for signs, then sitting the child on the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6255" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T12:37:23.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12147" CreationDate="2014-04-15T12:45:47.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How is your son's behaviour? And specifically, when he's just with your wife? Perhaps he is so demanding because of behavioural issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your wife fit? Starting an exercise program may make her feel much better. Running is free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest going to as many parent/child groups as she can. In the UK there are lots of these groups and they're cheap. Even if money is tight, I would make a couple of these a week a priority. I don't know about other countries though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6255" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T12:45:47.770" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11784" CreationDate="2014-04-15T13:33:42.063" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If by &quot;local rash&quot; you mean a red patch on the chin or something, odds are very high it's got nothing to do with the foods you are feeding him, particularly if it's something like rice that virtually nobody is allergic to.  Most babies start drooling at the same age as they start eating solids (in fact, it's considered a sign of readiness), and most often it's this saliva plus random vegetable smears that briefly but harmlessly irritate the skin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actual food allergies do not usually manifest as skin rashes, but as hives (mosquito bite-type bumps on the limbs), swelling lips, stomach pain, diarrhea, etc.  There's &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1557974/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;so much hysteria about food allergies these days&lt;/a&gt; that parents have an understandable tendency to overreact, but at the end of day, severe food allergies are actually very rare: there are over 300 million people in the US, of whom around &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peanut_allergy#Prevalence&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;2,000 were hospitalized&lt;/a&gt; due to &lt;em&gt;all food allergies combined&lt;/em&gt; in an average year, putting the risk at -- literally -- less than one in a million.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to play it safe, lay off the suspect food for a few days, then give it another shot and see if it recurs.  But personally, I wouldn't bother your doctor unless you're &lt;em&gt;sure&lt;/em&gt; there's a pattern or you're seeing more severe symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T13:33:42.063" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12156" CreationDate="2014-04-15T14:07:35.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Potty training is a different thing for every child.  Some train at 18 or 20 months, but most train in the range of 2.5 to 3.5 years old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to train, you need two things:  the awareness of when you need to go, and the ability and willingness to go on the toilet.  The first of these is largely a physical trait; at some point, children learn when they need to go.  If they haven't learned yet, then they won't be able to train, and it's not something easily taught at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do (and may have?) is get her comfortable with using the toilet.  Until she's got some idea of when she needs to go, just have her, a few times a day, sit on the potty with a book or something to keep her occupied, and try to go for a few minutes.  Otherwise, keep with the diapers but ask her to tell you when she needs to go - and have some reward for telling you and being right, and having a dry diaper when she does.  This might not happen for weeks at a time - but once it starts happening multiple times in a day, then you know it's time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T14:07:35.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12162" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-15T14:11:39.983" Score="7" ViewCount="14683" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old son pretty much doesn't play. I mean, he will usually when he has another child to play with but overall, throughout the week he doesn't play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's driving me crazy because he seems 'bored' and he pesters me constantly.  He spends most of the day bouncing between our two sofas. This seems to be what he does for fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't have any special needs, he just doesn't seem to know how to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7292" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-04-15T14:19:19.040" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T17:27:38.400" Title="Four year old does not play with toys" Tags="|pre-schooler|toys|play|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12162" CreationDate="2014-04-15T14:18:12.533" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like he's a social kid with a lot of energy.  How often does he go out to see other kids?  How often does he get outside?  My almost-three year old does play with toys, but he's honestly happier 'bouncing around' or outdoors.  Kids are unique, and some tend more towards imaginative play with toys, while some tend towards social play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, it sounds like your particular child needs more social attention, whether it's from you or from others.  Get him into playgroups, have friends over, etc, when you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During times when he's required to be alone in the house, like when you need to cook/clean/whatever, consider getting him to do activities that he can do with you.  If you're loading the dishwasher, he can probably help - my oldest has been loading the dishwasher since he was 2 (with all glass/porcelain dishes).  If you're cooking, he can help mix the dough or sauce.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're doing something he can't participate in, consider activities that allow him to be near you and allow you to talk to him.  Maybe he can do play-doh or color at the kitchen table; you can talk to him while you work about what he's doing.  You may have to work with him more directly at first - get him to think of the activity as a social activity.  By four, he probably can &quot;read&quot; books to you, at least ones that he's memorized; ask him to do that out loud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T14:18:12.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12150" CreationDate="2014-04-15T14:57:35.297" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would be problematic in the sense that short circuiting the pins may damage the USB charger. There are no health risks. At worst, the child will be subjected to 5 volts. The resulting 'shock' is not only harmless, it is not even noticable, roughly equivalent to replacing the batteries from the tv remote with your bare hands. If instead of poking the device with a screwdriver, your toddler licks the USB socket, he may notice a mild sensation which I assume to be unpleasant, but not painful or dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7294" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T14:57:35.297" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12156" CreationDate="2014-04-15T17:35:33.950" Score="11" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Since toddlers (and babies) have been (and still are in various other&#xA;  cultures) potty trained this young and younger, apparently without a&#xA;  problem,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The missing word here is &lt;strong&gt;some&lt;/strong&gt; - &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; toddlers have been potty trained this young. Every child is different. Potty training combines two completely different developmental aspects: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Physiological - Holding your urine &lt;em&gt;on demand&lt;/em&gt; requires specific muscular growth and development. Until both their muscles grow and they gain the ability to contract them to &quot;hold&quot; their urine, they will remain incontinent no matter how cognitively ready they are to potty train. This is the same reason many elderly people are incontinent - they no longer have the muscular development to &quot;hold it&quot; anymore. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Signs your child is physiologically ready&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;: actively holding their crotch, showing interest in their diapers, telling you they went potty, having dry diapers during naps / on long car rides&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cognitive - Almost all toddlers &quot;know&quot; when they have to pee. What they don't &quot;know&quot; is that you want them to do something about it. To you, all this behaviorial modification training is to achieve an end - a child peeing on the potty and getting rid of diapers. You already understand the means - cause and effect, rewards encourage behavior, etc. &lt;em&gt;Many toddlers do not understand the means.&lt;/em&gt; They don't understand basic things like cause and effect (&quot;When I go potty, I get a sticker&quot;) and instead see them as two totally separate events (&quot;I went potty. I got a sticker.&quot;) &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Signs your child is cognitively ready&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;: Understands basic systems of rewards and punishment, actively seeks rewards for behaviors, can answer rudimentary &quot;Why&quot; questions (&quot;Why is Babar sad?&quot; &quot;Why did you get a sticker?&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until a child has mastered at least the elementary tenets of these developmental skills, potty training is pointless (not totally, but enough so that I don't recommend it) and potentially harmful, since you can create a lot of anxiety in the child - because there is one skill that she mastered at a much young age, which is to take cues from you for her own mental and emotional state. I would personally argue that very few 20 months are cognitively developed enough to understand the cause and effect of &quot;I feel like I have to pee, therefore I need to go sit on the potty.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your question indicates, your daughter is practicing (and almost mastering) the physiological part but is not really ready for the cognitive part. What you're doing is the classic unready for potty training parent behavior: you do the cause and effect for her! &quot;She looks like she has to pee, therefore I will sit her on the potty.&quot; How do you expect her to learn the relationship between the cause and the effect when you short circuit it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is you can help her with the cognitive part:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start explaining cause and effect. Explicitly tell her why you are rewarding her. Explicitly explain to her cause and effect she reads in books, sees on television, or in real life. &quot;Rabbit is mad at Tigger because Tigger bounced on Rabbit and hurt him.&quot; &quot;You got a sticker because you held your pee pee for 5 minutes.&quot; Ask her rudimentary &quot;Why?&quot; questions to get her to explain to you cause and effect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Develop a system of consistent rewards and punishments for other behaviors. This is good practice anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Model, model, model. Ask yourself out loud for her to hear, &quot;Hmm, I wonder if I have to go potty?&quot; (Be sure to sometimes answer, &quot;No, I don't need to go potty.&quot;) When you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; have to go the bathroom, say, &quot;Yes, I have to go potty. I should go to the bathroom. Will you help me go to the bathroom?&quot; When you're done, show her the results (even poop - remember, it's for science!) and then reward her for helping. You can even have your spouse reward you ostentatiously with candy or a fun song. This will also reduce her anxiety about expectations, since she can see you need help, too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, without going total Freudian on you, you might be projecting a little bit when you say &quot;she&quot; is getting frustrated. Most 20 month old children are perfectly happy to keep peeing and pooping in their diaper forever - they've never known any other way. If anything, her frustration is rooted in (to a toddler) a completely inexplicable change in expected behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6542" LastEditorUserId="6542" LastEditDate="2014-04-15T19:47:12.273" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T19:47:12.273" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5480" CreationDate="2014-04-15T19:38:53.477" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;1) hold her over the toilet in a squatting position with the knees against the stomach - when she has a poopy face. The pressure against the stomach helps empty the bowels&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Massage stomach in clockwise direction, or point pressing right beneath the ribs when baby breathes out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) If nothing else helps, you can give a Microlax enema, which renders an unpoopable baby very poopy. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7299" LastEditorUserId="2303" LastEditDate="2017-05-10T17:55:39.873" LastActivityDate="2017-05-10T17:55:39.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12147" CreationDate="2014-04-15T20:49:08.983" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a stay at home mom (of an almost 4 year old) who left the workforce due to relocating for my husband's job I can relate to your wife's situation. Being around other women in a similar life situation can be encouraging. Her feelings of isolation and being worn down are quite common, especially when one has a weak social support network in their life. It is great that you realize she needs some support and are attempting to share some of the responsibilities to help out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else could you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask other parents at the office whether they have any suggestions about what there is to do in the area, and how she could get out and meet other moms and kids for her son to play with. Many of the best things she could be getting out to do to break the isolation bubble are specific to the area where you live and what opportunities are out there. Some areas the thing to do might be hang out at the library. Or maybe there's a museum or zoo with an affordable annual membership. Or a playground that other stay at home moms frequent. Maybe there's a moms club or church group or other support group that already exists in your area. Pass along any suggestions that may interest your wife. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is unclear from your post whether or not your son is in preschool or part-time daycare. If he is not (or sometimes even if he is, if he has high social needs!), he may be really hurting for social opportunities himself, and acting out when his needs aren't getting met, which is very exhausting as a parent to deal with. Making sure your child is getting ample social opportunities, exercise, and time outdoors can do wonders for reducing exhausting behavior issues. This doesn't have to be expensive classes. Taking him to the playground counts. Even better would be enrolling him in a preschool if he is not eligible for public schools, or joining or starting a preschool co-op. A friend of mine does a preschool co-op with 5 other parents, and the expenses are minimal (they purchased a ready-made curriculum) since they meet at each other's houses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are kids your son plays with well at the park, encourage your wife to talk to them and try to set up a playdate in the future. If she's shy or having trouble reaching out at the park, perhaps go to the park together with your child on the weekend, and help your wife break the ice in talking to other parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throw a casual event, such as a potluck or bbq lunch. Invite coworkers with stay at home spouses to attend with their families. Ask your wife to invite some acquaintances she's met in the last year. They don't have to be close friends (yet!). The idea is to reach out to other people she'd like to get to know better and create opportunities to connect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggest your wife join a professional group, such as a group for writers that meets in the evening once a month, or a book club, or bunko group, or some other group where she might have some grown up time out of the house. Be sure to support making attendance possible by taking over child-care duties that evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage your wife to find a mom's group in your area. Personally I prefer the kind that have regularly scheduled weekly playgroups. Then you don't have to worry about &quot;dead weeks&quot; when you're too frazzled to set up playdates. And these are often held at parks or people's houses so they are not expensive. There are national organizations like Mom's international or MOPS that may have a branch in your area. Or there may be a local group. Or a meetup group that does the same purpose. Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pick up local publications for parents. Often these are distributed for free at places of interest to families, grocery stores, the lobby of gymnastics centers, etc. These local publications may have event calendars and ads that give you ideas for stuff to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And lastly, spend time talking to your wife. She may just need an ear to listen to. Encourage her to call an old friend who's not local--it may just revive her spirit and give her some fresh energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T20:49:08.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12150" CreationDate="2014-04-15T21:48:19.577" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could always try something like these &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000AA2OWM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;USB Covers [Amazon]&quot;&gt;USB Covers [Amazon]&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2695" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T21:48:19.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12114" CreationDate="2014-04-15T22:02:51.643" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;An obvious solution is to move the date or time of the party to not conflict with an event that is very important to a large portion of invitees (and which they do NOT have the option to reschedule).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want to change the party time, then perhaps you should consider whether it's a priority for your son's party guest list to exactly coincide with his school class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say your child has another sport he participates in, which presumably contains kids he is friendly with. Are there also not kids he socializes with from the neighborhood, from other classes at the school, among family friends, or kids he knows from other activities that are not in soccer? Is there a reason why the birthday party must be ONLY kids from his class, the majority of whom are wrapped up in a sport your son doesn't play? Surely you can scare up a dozen kids for a good party, which include some kids from his class who can attend, and other kids from elsewhere (that he knows and likes) who do not have a schedule conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I must say that I am confused by this passage: &quot;There we agreed to make sure that everybody prioritized class events in order to do our best to get a good class.&quot; I don't know what this means, but your son's birthday party is not a &quot;class event&quot; if it happens outside of the school, and it seems a little creepy to pressure other parents into agreeing to prioritizing certain out-of-school events over others. If soccer is important to those kids, that's their prerogative. Not. Your. Business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nowhere in the original question did I detect anything about what you son wants out of any of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2014-04-15T22:02:51.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12173" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-16T12:26:50.553" Score="54" ViewCount="129626" Body="&lt;p&gt;A little background- my daughter has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend or relationship and is in 8th grade. She has always been young for her age and had a tough time identifying with other girls and kids at her school (we had issues of bullying- mostly to her being shy) in which we switched her schools in 3rd grade. She was always the sweet, shy one, and so paranoid of her acne, which she has had from a young age. Well, she has blossomed now into a gorgeous, tall bombshell (I hate to say it) but since she joined Performing Arts, and gotten lead roles, it has really boosted her self esteem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyhow, my daughter has finally found her &quot;soul mate&quot; friends (she says) that really understand her and has been texting them (2 in particular) at all hours. One is 14 and the other is 17, both girls. I am very close with my daughter and started seeing something &quot;more&quot; going with her feelings wise for the 17 year old who played her opposite as the lead in the past play, where they also shared a kissing scene, multiple times. I asked her one night outright if she liked the 17 year old and she teared up and asked how I knew. I told her I was her mama and that I just knew and that I would love her unconditionally. She said she still liked both guys and girls, but she definitely liked the 17 year old and she couldn't help her feelings. I hugged her and that is how she came out to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward two weeks- we've told dad which was hard but he is supportive (ish) it's still new. We had to tell her that there is absolutely no way she can have sleepovers with the 13 year old and 17 old (which they were planning). We've never fought with her in our life (she has always been so easy until now!) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She told me that her and the 17yo were &quot;seeing each other&quot; and that the 17yo has an &quot;open&quot; relationship with a boy as well, which means they can see other people. Well, I met with the 17yo, (who insisted they were friends) explained they were not allowed to see each other anymore, and thank goodness the 17yo obliged. I don't think she realized the level of the relationship my daughter was thinking. We also told her we were pulling her out of the class she is teaching for Performing Arts that our daughter just started. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I explained the situation to my daughter and she is devastated and angry. Well, that's an understatement. She is embarrassed for having more feelings for someone than they had for her (and someone much older), having her other friends find out about this crush, and furious at us-- especially since she confided in us her feelings. We always told her she could tell us anything, and now she says she trusted us and we took away her best friend in life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried to explain that it was an age thing, that if the 17yo was a boy, we would have done the SAME thing. We explained we did it to protect her, we explained how 13yo and 17yo have different emotions and all the rest, but of course she didn't want to hear it. Anyhow, my heart as a mom hurts so much right now. She just lays in her room in the dark not talking to anyone. We have always been so close. I know it is not my job to be her friend right now, but to be her mom, but any advice would be appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7283" LastEditorUserId="7283" LastEditDate="2014-04-16T12:53:51.670" LastActivityDate="2017-04-25T14:58:58.533" Title="Just found out my 13 year old girl is Bi and dating a 17 year old girl in an &quot;open&quot; relationship. Huh? Now what?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-16T12:57:22.460" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh, the pain of first heartbreak!  Bless you for being there for your daughter through all of this. The maturity level between 13 and 17 is so vast and I'm very glad the other girl agreed to back off rather than messing with your daughter's emotions; she sounds like she'll be a good friend down the road, once the dust has a chance to settle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't listen to Dan Savage's podcast, I'd recommend it, for your own sanity if nothing else.  He has dealt with several parents' questions recently along the same lines (how do I support my kid while she/he goes through this growing-up-and-exploring-love mess), and his advice falls along the lines of &quot;love your child, support your child, stick up for your child, and let them know you have their back.&quot;  You're doing all these things.  (So give yourself a bit of a hug.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be that she needs to talk to someone about this; does she have an aunt/older cousin/older sibling/someone who's close and trustworthy but not a parent that she can confide in?  Someone who can help her find her way through this morass?  We've all been there but it's SOOOO hard for a teen to see that, especially when it's a parent saying it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also recommend trying to spend some 'normal' time with her, if you can.  Go do one-on-one normal things and let her process this at her own speed.  Let her know you're there to talk if she needs you, but that you're not going to insist she open her own thought processes to you if she's not ready to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T12:57:22.460" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-16T18:49:19.247" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to tell you flat-out: Your daughter's been &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=turn%20out&amp;amp;defid=1425596&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;turned out&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know your parenting style, some parents try to be their kids friend instead of their parent. That's not me, and I know you mentioned that you're aware that's not your job right now anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you approach this will either drive your daughter closer to you, or to her lover. The actions you take largely depend on how you feel about teen dating and homosexuality in general. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't trust what the 17yo says in regards to seeing your daughter anymore. It may be true, but when I was 17 I would have told you that to get you out of my face, and still texted (tweeting wasn't around then so..) and snuck around to do whatever. If you are really concerned with them seeing each other you should take extra steps to ensure they are not communicating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter will probably be angry with you for a little while for putting her feelings in public, she might get over it, she might not. Chilling in a dark room as a teen might not &lt;em&gt;necessarily&lt;/em&gt; be a terrible thing, however I would monitor that and fix it if it becomes excessive. Since &lt;em&gt;Excessive&lt;/em&gt; is a relative term, if you feel she is spending too much alone time in her room than it's up to you and espcially her father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also explain to her that her body isn't loyal to her emotions/feelings. That means that, since her (either first or one of the) first sexual encounter was with a girl, she's going to feel like she's attracted to girls. This is because If someone touches you a certain way, your body is going to respond a certain way, and it doesn't matter if that came from the opposite sex or not. She has likely liked boys naturally since a young age, but now this encounter with a female has made her question that and believe that's the way she was 'born'. This is analogous to the feeling experienced when being straight baited*.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone has their own beliefs in the area of homosexuality, personally as a Christian I disagree with that way of life. I say that clearly so you will know where my conviction and guidance comes from. That being said, It's very much possible to love someone and &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; approve of that lifestyle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, In a nutshell, kids are going to things you tell them not to. In some cases they are going to do it behind your back, and there's little you can do about it. However, that does not mean you should just lay down and put up with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*There are situations such as straight men and women being tricked into having a homosexual experience. This could happen via blindfolding, handcuffing, etc., but it happens, and it happens among young people as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T18:49:19.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12177" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-16T21:26:56.087" Score="1" ViewCount="532" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 years and 3 months old. Ever since ever she has had very unpredictable bowel movements - some days none, some days lots and lots; some hard and firm and some very loose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she was still exclusively breastfed they were all typical &quot;BF poo&quot; (very loose) but still unpredictable in quantity and frequency. Since she started on solid food they have been utterly unpredictable in all ways. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possibly relevant facts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she is still breastfed at bed time and during the night and drinks&#xA;whole cow's milk and water during the day  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she eats a wide variety of food and I have not been able to tie down any relationship between &quot;input&quot; and &quot;output&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she never seems to have any stomach discomfort or wind and is generally very cheerful and active&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The combination of sometimes very big / very loose bowel movements makes us worry about having to go out with her at times when she seems to be &quot;storing it up&quot; - she can make the most gigantic mess. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also concerned that when we start thinking about potty training (which we already are &lt;em&gt;thinking&lt;/em&gt; about but haven't &lt;em&gt;done&lt;/em&gt; anything about yet as she isn't really showing any signs of being ready) it might be hard for her to hold in these very large / loose poos until she can make it to a toilet / potty, and it will definitely be very hard indeed for her to learn to clean herself up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is my second child and although my older son had some variation in daily output (not like some children - or adults - you hear about who are utterly regular), she is in a different league.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[To avoid any worries that this is a medical question and should be addressed to a doctor - I'm currently keeping a diary noting input and output and intend to take her to the doctor once I have completed a month of logging. I'm asking here for likely possible diagnoses / further tests that the doctor might consider.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T22:18:34.273" Title="What are some reasons for a toddler to have very inconsistent (frequency and texture) bowel movements?" Tags="|toddler|food|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-16T21:39:39.127" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not really understanding why you had to tear them apart. As far as I can read from your text they never did anything &quot;bad&quot; to each other, so one could expect the 17 year old to not suddenly do something to your daughter just because she is older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I totally understand that you need to assist your daughter here, the difference between 13 and 17 is too extreme to just let her experience that on her own. But I wonder why you did not just clear the thing up with the older girl and tell her to keep the relationship on a friendship level and to understand that she can't do certain things with such a young girl, she probably would have understood. Eventually that love would have died out naturally giving your daughter the chance to learn something about relationships from someone a bit older. That would have given your daughter some insight, while now she is just angry and probably will take a very long time to understand what you did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of cutting the line between them (if you even can do that), you could alternatively now, after some time, tell your daughter that you did that to get her to cool down a bit and allow her to see her friend again, but on a friendship level and nothing more. That might fix some of the trust she obviously lost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastEditorUserId="6997" LastEditDate="2014-04-16T22:14:14.970" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T22:14:14.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12162" CreationDate="2014-04-16T21:51:45.017" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is hard to tell from the little information. There can be several reasons for this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your son did not have enough chances to experience social interaction to learn the fun or had several rather traumatic (from the perspective of a child) experiences. You might want to talk to him and try to figure out what really bothers him. If he just doesn't value it, or if there is something he is afraid of.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he constantly repeats the same trivial action, this could be a hint for a minor autism. Kids who have this &quot;alternate point of view&quot; focus much more on a few things while ignoring other common things you would expect a child at that age to find entertaining. You can check with a doctor to test him. If this is really the cause, then there is no need to worry about, because if you haven't noticed that on your own, then the autism is so minor, that it will only have minor effects on the development of your child. However it is good to know, so you can support him properly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Too much TV (no clue if this has any relation to your case). Watching too much TV dulls out the mind and fails to stimulate that part of the brain that is required to generate ideas on how to entertain yourself (aka creativity). A kid that spends too much time in front of the TV will learn that entertainment is served and he/she just has to sit and wait for it and will eventually just do that and nothing else beside some very trivial things like bouncing back and force.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T21:51:45.017" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12129" CreationDate="2014-04-16T22:12:20.917" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem here is the concept of positive reinforcement, but what you do here is to accidentally &quot;punish&quot; your son with your rewards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The concept of &quot;You may only watch TV after you cleaned up your toys&quot; does not present watching TV as a reward, but cleaning up as a punishment and lowers watching TV to a regular activity. You are basically saying &quot;You have been bad, so you must clean your room.&quot; afterwards he regularly proceeds with watching TV. So you not only associate cleaning with bad, but also TV with &quot;nothing special&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To &quot;fix&quot; that, you first need to understand what your kids expected regular daily activity is. Then you can use that against him in punishments: &quot;You have been bad, you may not watch TV today.&quot; And no excuse will change that. While that sounds kind of harsh, you need to understand that a punishment only helps in learning, if it actually is one. If you accept an excuse you only teach him that any bad behavior can be corrected by saying three words (that's why he goes ballistic: from his POV he did what you taught him). It however is a good idea to teach him when these words should be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The positive aspect should be things which are outside of his regular activity. You could for example tell him that if he properly cleans up, you are going to buy him some ice cream. You can as well turn this in a regular thing and tell him that if he cleans up on Fridays, there will be ice cream on Saturdays, or something similar. But again: if he does not clean up, then no excuse will change that there will be no ice cream, not even if it is not his fault. Because otherwise having ice cream on Saturdays suddenly becomes a regular activity again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T22:12:20.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12150" CreationDate="2014-04-16T22:15:46.813" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer - Don't. USB sockets only output 5 volts and up to 3 amps (usually 1 amp or less), well below the threshold for if it could hurt anyone, including toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There really isn't a need to spend more money on covers which aren't needed, the only concern would be if somehow your child worked out how to short the current on the charger, although this would usually require taking the charger apart, which requires a screwdriver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7316" LastEditorUserId="7409" LastEditDate="2014-04-21T18:29:34.747" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T18:29:34.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12177" CreationDate="2014-04-16T22:18:34.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might look into a food intolerance (inability to digest), the most common being lactose intolerance. At this age (over 2) the digestive system is usually running fairly smoothly, as the child has had enough time to build a sufficient population of healthy bacteria. They are not &quot;allergic&quot;, since there is no histamine reaction, and so is typically not a risk, other than the wacky digestive system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most straightforward method to identify this is to run 3-5 day periods where you do not feed them certain foods. Start with diary (be mindful of the lowered calcium intake), and next look at wheat gluten (which is also very common, and can be quite challenging to avoid).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7165" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T22:18:34.273" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11784" CreationDate="2014-04-16T22:25:09.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as you can not see any obvious health issues (coughing, scratching, pain or worse) it is unlikely to be an allergy. If you want to be absolutely sure, you need to see a doctor, however I doubt your little one will love to get about 20-30 needles into his arms for the test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively you can try small doses of what you think might cause an allergic reaction. If your kid already ate a bowl of cereals and only got a rash from it, it is highly unlikely that there is any lethal allergy from that. But just to be safe, try a single spoon of it and wait for any reaction. If there is none, try two spoons the next day and so on and watch for any repeating signs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it actually turns out to be an allergy against something as common as cereals, I would recommend to a) see a doctor and discuss with him how to proceed and b) try allergen-desensitising (your doc can give you more details on this), which is usually very effective at early ages and should be helpful for something as common as that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-04-16T22:25:09.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12033" CreationDate="2014-04-17T00:41:26.360" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several reasons not to do that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Infants have very simple minds that can easily be overloaded by too much information. A psychedelic, high-contrast video can do more harm than good.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Infants develop best, if more/all senses are used together. That is why those famous toys you hang over their beds look funny, play music and are in range for the toddler to touch. A simple video is a very poor choice for stimulation and learning.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A video is 2D and will not help (or might even hinder) 3D recognition.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Under normal circumstances an hour in a park (or nature if you happen have some around) is one of the best things to do if you want to stimulate your infant's senses. Let him see the scene, touch things, listen to the sound of nature, smell flowers and taste (some ;)) things. Then grant him/her time to sleep so his/her brain can process the information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T00:41:26.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11567" CreationDate="2014-04-17T00:55:56.840" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A crib mobile &lt;a href=&quot;http://bernard.pitzer.edu/~dmoore/psych199s03articles/r-collier_memory.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;can be helpful&lt;/a&gt; for an infant to develop his senses. He/she can see, touch and hear it, while the motion will help with 3D recognition. It is not going to turn your toddler into the next Einstein, but it helps. You however might need to try a few of them till you find one that your child finds appealing. At that age this is basically random guesswork. Usually a more subtle one might assist on sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition you can actually use it to train your toddler to sleep. If you always put on the mobile when he/she is supposed to take a nap, you might get lucky and he/she will automatically fall asleep once you switch it on or it will at least support the nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T00:55:56.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-17T02:49:12.770" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the 17-year-old is in fact OK with ending - or at least cooling - the relationship, she might be the person your daughter needs to talk to.  Lift the ban, let them talk it out (and tell your daughter that this is what you're doing: you're letting her handle it).  With any luck, at the end of the day, it will be over without your being the bad guy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from the same-sex issue, this sounds like your basic pre-teen crush - it's not the end of the world.  On the bright side, it's less hazardous than her messing around with a 17-year-old boy.    (As a former 17-year-old boy, I know whereof I speak...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7322" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T02:49:12.770" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-17T07:45:10.010" Score="94" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way these events unfolded is an unfortunate one, and I feel rather sorry for your current predicament as a family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By forbidding your daughter from seeing her 17-year-old friend, it seems to me that you possibly accomplished several things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You showed your daughter that you fundamentally don't trust her judgment about herself and her own feelings&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You and/or your husband may have made her feel that despite your joint assurances regarding her possible homosexual orientation, you're unable to accept her as she is&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You destroyed a friendship with this girl that your daughter highly valued&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That same action also meant destroying your daughter's involvement in a Performing Arts class that she greatly enjoyed, and which had contributed substantially to her improved self-confidence. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You crystallized an asymmetrical definition of your daughter's relationship with her friend that might (or might not) have evolved into one on more equal terms. You also defined it as a fundamentally sexual relationship when its most important feature may have been the sense of friendship and guidance your daughter was getting from a somewhat more worldly-wise teenager who, from your description, was not actually intent on maliciously exploiting your daughter's inexperience. (I think your daughter would probably have been capable of dealing with the issue of her 17-year-old friend’s boyfriend on her own; or if not, I think it would have been better for you to let &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; come to &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; for advice rather than intervening the way you did)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Because you have, until now, evidently had an open and affectionate relationship with your daughter, this sudden drastic interference on your part may have considerably shaken your daughter's confidence in your and your husband's perception of what is good for her, at least for the time being.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You closed off an avenue for your daughter's exploration of her identity that was based on her own sense of her evolving personality rather than on parentally-imposed norms. (I think that by the age of 13, most children are ready to start gradually drawing away from their parents and defining who &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; want to be for themselves, with the benefit of supportive guidance from the parents rather than having the law laid down for them; but I know that this can be a tricky balance to strike.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, it is of course quite possible that I've missed the mark in some of my analysis. (There are a couple of points I would have liked a little clarification on: for instance, the wording of your description about how your husband was informed about your daughter's lesbian crush made me wonder if you are actually divorced and living in separate households, which would presumably make it more difficult to coordinate the way you handle some of the issues that are liable to arise in connection with your daughter’s upbringing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, it does seem clear that there was a considerable failure (or several failures) of communication along the way. It seems important for healthy communication channels between all the members of your family to be reestablished as soon as is reasonably possible in order to restore a more normal atmosphere, and of course to improve the frayed relations between your daughter and yourselves. This may possibly involve giving her a sincere apology for breaching her trust or overreaching in your response to her relationship with her friend. (Showing that you can be fallible in your parental judgment when your daughter is 13 [and is probably savvier than one might suspect] would be the honest thing to do, and I'm sure she would appreciate the gesture of your openness if you can convince her that your action is genuine.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also invite you to consider your own motivations for acting the way you did more deeply. Were they mostly about you and your prejudices, or were they truly mostly focused on your daughter's well-being? You do sound like a deeply caring parent, but it may be the case that you and your husband would benefit from at least a degree of professional help to come to terms with the possibility that your daughter will turn out to be gay, as well as getting some guidance regarding the best way to deal with some of the issues connected with that possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you haven't discussed very much in your account is your daughter's relationship with her other friend (the one who is aged 13 or 14). I'm not sure what your attitude is towards &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; friendship, but unless some obvious red flags are apparent there, I'd be inclined to avoid doing anything that might give your daughter (who is currently very sensitive about the interference of her parents in her relationships with her peers) any additional cause for resentment. Apart from anything else, for as long as she is upset about your interference in her relationships with her friends, her ability to concentrate on her schoolwork is likely to be at least somewhat impaired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the other people who responded to your question raised the issue of the age of consent. I’m assuming you are based in the USA, in which case you might like to check out Wikipedia’s page concerning the age of consent in whichever of the 50 states you reside in:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope my comments have been at least somewhat useful. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7324" LastEditorUserId="7324" LastEditDate="2014-04-17T09:27:57.340" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T09:27:57.340" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2014-04-17T08:37:02.337" Score="-7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should instantly tell everyone everything.  Tell her friends, your parents, other siblings, tell distant relatives - tell them all straight away as soon as you read this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(If you're concerned your sister will &quot;be mad&quot; because you &quot;tattled&quot; or something .. well, that's how literally 4 or 5 year olds think.  If you actually think that - which is hard to believe - set that aside and tell everyone everything straight away. if she's mad at you that will last a couple hours.  Just walk straight up to the parents and say &quot;Shit, what's this about XYZ with ecstasy in her room?&quot;  Just forget the issue that &quot;you're telling about it&quot; and just immediately, instantly, get everyone talking about it. Especially call her friends, all of them, and talk to them about it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding &quot;are drugs dangerous&quot; it's totally irrelevant. If I'm not mistaken pot is legal in most US states now right?  So forget that question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is not that she's suddenly going to die of a pot overdose, the problem is that (almost always) &lt;strong&gt;casual drug users at that age become &quot;losers&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; - i.e., people with low income, bad education, rubbish or no jobs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Sure there are a handful of exceptions - billionaire pop stars etc.  Fantastic.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding heavier drug use, I recommend the book &lt;em&gt;Million Little Pieces&lt;/em&gt; by James Frey. Have her read it and see what she thinks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So again (if you're asking about) the issue &quot;Should I Tell!?&quot; - that's just puerile, absurd.  Of course just immediately talk to EVERYONE about it. Get EVERYONE talking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the issue &quot;will she become a slacker / loser&quot; the answer is &quot;almost certainly yes.&quot;  If you want to, just do everything you can to see that that doesn't happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Inevitably, there will be a chorus of &quot;I know A Person who took Recreational Drugs heavily and she went on to be a Brain Surgeon.&quot;  That's fantastic.  In the vast majority of cases they become beavis and butthead.  Your sister is en route to being beavis and butthead.  it's just that simple.  If there's something you can do to stop that path ()and you want to), go for it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And again, regarding the slim chance she becomes a crackhead or alcoholic, just read &lt;em&gt;Million Little Pieces&lt;/em&gt; which will fix that up. (If that doesn't nothing will.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7188" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T08:37:02.337" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-17T10:51:48.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;17 is way too old for a 13 year old to be dating, and 13 is far to young for a 17 year old - the rule of thumb is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;min_age = (your_age / 2) + 7 where your_age &amp;gt; min_age&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;so for a 17yo that's 8.5 + 7 = 15.5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reversing the formula for a 13yo gives a smaller result (&amp;lt;13), so max_age for 13 is 13. Far too young to be dating older kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7328" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T10:51:48.217" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11567" CreationDate="2014-04-17T12:14:15.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am against putting any toys to bed with a child, except maybe a teddy bear to cuddle with. I think that &lt;strong&gt;a child needs to associate its crib with sleeping&lt;/strong&gt;. Me and my wife have decided that we will not play with our daughter when she's in the crib, we won't talk to her and perform no activities not related to sleeping. Shushing and stroking, gentle patting or other sleep-encouraging soothening gestures are allowed, but we avoid them if we can. So far this has been working. When she is put to her bed she seems to know we want her to sleep. She doesn't always comply, though;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T12:14:15.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-17T16:45:09.917" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the 17yo didn't want more than friendship, then why are you banning them from being friends? This young woman could help your daughter, as long as you establish with them there are &quot;rules of engagement&quot; (ie, no dating someone 4 years older than you) I'm not sure what you hope to accomplish in essentially breaking trust with your daughter by undermining her judgement and taking away one of her best friends, ESPECIALLY after a back story involving your daughter having trouble making friends. Had my mother banned me from seeing someone when I was that age, it would have just pushed me to seek them out even more out of spite of what that represented: tacit disapproval of my judgement and implications that I am still just a child who needs to be told what to do, who I can talk to, etc. I'm also not sure I buy that you only did this because the person was older - I think had the fact your daughter had a crush on this person not come into play, as well as the fact that there was any possibility of reciprocation, you would never have banned them from being friends. You need to take a long, hard look at your true motivations and then sit down with your daughter again, possibly with a 3rd party mediator, to work out these trust issues. 13 is a really fragile age, and not a good time to suddenly lose 1/2 of your non-parental support system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7343" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T16:45:09.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12156" CreationDate="2014-04-17T18:07:50.447" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I do not have any helpful advice for your current situation, but I will shamelessly use your question to &quot;advertise&quot; a bit for the diaper-free method. You can read about it on the Internet and there a few good books about it. My baby is now six months old (I started when he was two months) and I need less than one diaper a day! It's true that it is actually reversed potty training, as I'm the one watching for clues, but the baby is not trained to use his pants as a toilet, which is what happens when they are always in diapers, so you also don't have to &quot;untrain&quot; this behavior, which is what conventional potty training actually does. I can highly recommend this method, as I think it is great for the baby, great for parent-baby bonding, great for the environment, and actually fun once you get the hang of it. You could try it with your next baby :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7344" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T18:07:50.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2338" CreationDate="2014-04-17T18:40:23.693" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course this is very personal, but honestly I have to say I think we have spent less than $200 on our baby so far - he is six months old now. Here are the main things that save money:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;breastfeeding: not only saves money but is an incredibly beautiful experience for mommy &amp;amp; baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diaper-free method (elimination communication): We bought some cotton diapers to practice with, but now we need less than 1 diaper a day &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Co-sleeping: It is wonderful to go to sleep with your baby next to you and it means you don't have to move to a bigger house/appartment - not yet anyway, gives you time to save up. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buying used stuff/receiving from friends or family: Some might loathe the idea of having used stuff for their precious little one, but I love used stuff for many reasons. For me, there are some exceptions though, like cotton diapers, underwear, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this was helpful and I really hope you will not worry too much about the money, because there is nothing you can buy that will give you the amazing, wonderful, deeply fulfilling experience of caring for your own little one. Good luck and all the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7344" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T18:40:23.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-17T20:02:22.517" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow, you really screwed up, sorry to say, it pains me to read what you did, i had to stop a few times, hopefully I didn't miss anything important, I believe I read it all.&#xA;Big issues:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pulling her out of performing arts. &lt;em&gt;bad decision&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Telling her she's not allowed to see her &quot;friend&quot;/partner/whatever. &lt;em&gt;worse decision&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first will mess up her entire life worse, as it will make her think less of academics and school in general, since she now has no faith that anything she works hard on won't be ripped away from her in the future. -- &lt;em&gt;This is from first hand experience&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second will just make her rebel against you more, and only help to weaken your relationship with her. -- &lt;em&gt;Common sense to everyone except the parents&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I understand not allowing sleepovers because of potential liability, all girls experiment during sleepovers, regardless of their &quot;preferences&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, not allowing her sleepovers because you don't want her to experience any sexual contact, well see how well that train goes...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You really need to let her figure things out on her own, and step in if there becomes a problem. Really it seems like you 'pretended' to accept her, but then in fear, destroyed her life, with no good reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, I know I am not offering much advice, but hopefully you can understand the effect your actions will have a bit better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's much harder to see things clearly when you're the actual parent of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7347" LastEditorUserId="3854" LastEditDate="2014-04-18T19:53:10.573" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T19:53:10.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12197" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12210" CreationDate="2014-04-17T21:48:23.833" Score="38" ViewCount="7512" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very soon my mother's brother will be released from prison. He is a pedophile.  He was caught, plead guilty, etc etc...he is not someone I'd want around any child, certainly not my own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother, for reasons that make NO sense to me whatsoever, refuses to acknowledge his wrongdoing, nor the danger he poses to the public and my family.  Pre-trial, she initially hid the reason for his legal trouble to me (I ended up finding out via local news) and we ended up not speaking for two years because even after I insisted he not have any contact with my children (he moved in with her during the trial/sentencing which meant they couldn't go to her house,) she would bring him with her to my house, or, she would take them home with her when they were supposed to be out shopping/etc.  I ended up having to cut off all contact with her since she couldn't be trusted.  Then, my oldest was in pre-school and although he missed his Nana, he has young enough where he was easily distracted.  I should add that my oldest is VERY close to my mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, with his impending release, I am concerned that it will go very much like it did before...I know via family members that she is making plans to have him move into the cottage next door to hers (which is too close for comfort, in my opinion).  I anticipate that she will ignore my requests to prohibit my children's contact with him, and that I will have to a) explain to my oldest son, and perhaps my middle child, why my uncle is not welcome (at the least) and dangerous, and b) why Nana is not welcome either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, how do I explain the danger of my uncle, without getting into gory details, so that he understands WHY all this is (potentially) happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am planning for the worst while hoping for the best.  I appreciate any advice folks may have for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I have read the questions relating to &quot;Stranger Danger&quot; on this site already; I am more specifically focused on the impact of estrangement from family members on a child.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additional info (added for clarity): my uncle then and now sees no deviance in his behavior. He plead guilty, but, from letters I've received from him since he was imprisoned where he defended his &quot;preferences and tendencies&quot; as &quot;natural&quot; and &quot;unavoidable&quot; and &quot;merely taboo&quot;, I am not convinced he feels any actual guilt. This leads me to believe he has zero intention of avoiding said &quot;tendencies.&quot; He is obviously ill. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother (pre-trial) lost her ability to see my kids at all only after incremental losses over the course of a year. I made the conditions perfectly clear and she blatantly ignored them. I just couldn't convince her that ultimately they are my kids, and my husband and I are the ones who have the final say in regards to who they see and where they go. It concerned both of us that she was so determined to be right that she was willing to risk her grandchildren's safety.  She was also willing to destroy my marriage in the process, as this whole thing was obviously a strain between my husband and I, and she would lie and tell him I &quot;said ____ was ok&quot; when in fact I had not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="7324" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T04:42:13.313" LastActivityDate="2018-12-17T02:11:02.280" Title="How to explain to a 9-year-old why a relative is not welcome" Tags="|primary-schooler|safety|extended-family|grandparents|separation|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12197" CreationDate="2014-04-17T22:06:40.363" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me, the most complicated part of this is explaining a) why you don't want to forgive, or trust (or both) your uncle, and b) why you don't trust your mother's judgement on the matter enough to allow her to see your son.  (Not that I'm questioning either element - you know the situation - but explaining the above to your child.)  Presumably your child has an understanding of wrongdoing, and an understanding of forgiveness; but he doesn't have necessarily the tools to comprehend why you might not trust someone even if you did forgive them.  He also doesn't necessarily have the ability to understand why you and your mother (his Nana) might have cause to disagree so fundamentally as to not see each other - particularly as he may 'trust' her as much as he trusts you (I suspect my oldest trusts his grandmother more than us, and I don't doubt we'll have hopefully-much-smaller versions of this issue as he ages.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the first part, I would be as frank as possible.  Explain that your uncle did something wrong, that hurt some children, and that you want to make sure your son isn't hurt, so he's not allowed to see his uncle or be around him.  If he asks what, tell him in as much detail as you're comfortable giving.  Kids are smart, and more detail is usually better - if they see you're holding out, they'll wonder more and be more curious.  Invite him to ask you any questions he has on the subject, but make it clear that it is not safe for him to be around your uncle, no matter what, and that if Nana does bring your uncle over, he should tell you right away the next time he can (but nothing beyond that, don't put him in a position of choosing between you and her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the second part - there's no good way to deal with it.  You can explain to him that your mother isn't sticking to her word with you, and that because of that, you can't allow her to see him.  This won't fix everything, and won't make him happy, but that's life - unfair and frustrating to most of us.  There's no truly good way to resolve something like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can, consider allowing your mother to remain in his life, but only in highly controlled circumstances.  She can come over while you're around (but has no key), and she can come to events or outings, as long as her brother isn't there - and if he is, the understanding is that you will leave immediately.  No one-on-one outings, no going over to her house, no her coming over to yours.  She's already broken your trust on this once; don't let it get to the point of not talking to her again if you can avoid it.  Make sure she has a clear understanding of the rules, and also that she may not try to convince your son that you're wrong in this, or you will have to reduce her participation further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-17T22:06:40.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-18T06:41:04.473" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think Robs answer hit the nail on the head.  There are some other issues that I'm surprised no one said anything about:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sounds completely innocent.  To your knowledge, nothing has happened (besides kissing scenes for a play?)  She texts her friends, so what.  You never had crushes on people when you were that age?  Never had a thing for your teacher?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter confided in you.. so what do you do?  You over react and talked to the 17 y/o girl who probably had no clue your daughter had a crush on her. You going to go have talks to anyone your daughter has a thing for now?  When she enrolls in another drama class, god forbid there is a kissing scene, you going to lay down the law as well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to back off.  Your daughter sounds like she just started making friends and you go and embarrass her.  It would be one thing if the 17 year old girl was manipulative and trying to take advantage of her, but from what you said, that was not what was going on at all.  In fact, I doubt the 17 year old would have any reason to be hanging out with a 13 year old.  I don't even really understand how they're in the same class together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must have had some different experiences, but t's pretty common for girls to &quot;experiment&quot; with their friends.  Back off and don't screw up your daughters teenage years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, it's not unusual to develop feelings for someone after kissing them.  She's 13, she has no clue whether she likes boys or girls.  And if she does turn out to be a lesbian, &lt;strong&gt;be grateful you don't have to worry about her getting pregnant.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7354" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T06:41:04.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-18T10:21:08.730" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before reconnecting with your daughter, I think it's important for you and your husband to reflect upon your own views of sexuality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder if your reaction to your daughter would REALLY have been the same if she'd confessed to dating a 17yo boy in an open relationship?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up in a conservative but progressive family and church, so I had a traditional view of sex. My wife and I played by the rules and were virgins when we got married.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, she came out to me as Bi. This explains some of the challenges we've had connecting physically throughout our marriage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is fortunate to be living in a time that she is simply embarrassed, not actively harassed, for her orientation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife did not grow up with this same opportunity to explore her feelings openly and honestly. We are committed to working through this challenge together, but it's not ideal. We would be in a much better place if she'd been able to admit her orientation to herself when she was a teen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would humbly suggest that you reconsider your reaction. The worst thing you can do right now is leave your daughter feeling ashamed. That will lead to deeper difficulties in any serious relationships she pursues in the future, and it could permanently damage your relationship with her, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given what I know now, I would suggest the following steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Ask your husband how he would feel if you came out to him as Bi today. His reaction to this possibility may give you the chance to discuss how to be more compassionate to your daughter. Tell him some random dude on the internet is going through this right now!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Apologize to your daughter. Admit that you should have discussed things together, as a family, with her 17yo girlfriend; not go around her and confront the girlfriend directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Clarify your expectations surrounding dating and intimacy in gender-neutral terms. How old should your daughter be before she dates? Before she has sex with a partner? This may be a time for you and your husband to come clean and discuss the decisions you both made when you were your daughter's age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Focus on healthy, mutually-respectful relationship building. Intimacy is a natural result of years of friendship and physical attraction. It's what you and your husband experienced as you drew closer together and decided to commit to each other for life. I'm sure you want the same thing for your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck as you navigate these waters! Parenting is tough, but creating healthy intimacy is even tougher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7358" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T10:21:08.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11589" CreationDate="2014-04-18T13:38:23.717" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't see the point to such a regular exercise except to influence them to bond more as group in opposition with the parents. Three very different children, different ages, different sexes, different capabilities... it seems designed to get them to act together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that makes me wonder what the problem is. It seems that the described behavior is what is intended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no good way to do this kind of thing without first creating some motivation in all participating children. There needs to be a reason for the children &lt;strong&gt;to want&lt;/strong&gt; to do the exercises according to how you describe what you want to see. And it can't be something like direct reward/punishment for individuals. It has to be praise (or whatever) for &lt;em&gt;all as a group&lt;/em&gt; when behaviors are appropriate. They have to want to do well together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The simple act of a regular 'quiz' is likely to generate tiny resentments and frictions from the start. It's an interruption to whatever is on their minds in the minutes before. But then, if one ever makes an error when another gets it correct, there will be a tiny lessening of any desire to go along with it. One is shown to be &quot;better&quot; than the other, and it happens in front of the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By itself, that becomes reward and punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that being unavoidable, it has to be determined how to balance competition and cooperation while avoiding conflict. Those are three powerful forces in human interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As it is, the children can begin to see how they can cooperate for their amusement and also compete with parents for control of an activity that they didn't choose for themselves. At the same time, they can avoid conflicts within their group of children by adopting behaviors of the others. For them, all of the human motivations are already on their side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the only way out that I can see is to present them with an explanation. Something maybe along the lines of your wanting to see how they might improve as a group. Then there might be a group reward if some measured progress is shown. Everybody gets to go to the next Disney movie when it comes around if the group achieves some limited goal. Let them know that family groups can be important, and this is a way to feel a sense of accomplishment in mastering the skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get any of that done, you have to examine yourself. You need to know why you're doing this in the first place. You need to know it well enough that you can explain it to children. If you can't do it in a way that they can understand and accept, then maybe you don't have good enough reason to begin with. It can't just be a vague &quot;Because it's good for the kids.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what exactly are your reasons? How can you state them at the level of children? What is the goal? What do you really want to see and what do you want to discourage? (Why?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think you can get those answers across to the children, they should actually become willing to participate and to do well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7361" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T13:38:23.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12197" CreationDate="2014-04-18T14:08:31.963" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The clear answer is illness. Even a 9 yr old understands sickness. This sickness is one that can cause harm to others because ability for self-control is damaged. Until the illness can be cured, it's simply too dangerous for the person to be around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea of illness in others can be very important in these circumstances. It's especially important as something a child can understand and accept while simultaneously avoiding giving any indication that the child has done anything wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7361" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T14:08:31.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11589" CreationDate="2014-04-18T14:41:17.673" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can speak from personal experience rather than parental experience. I used to do this with my teachers rather than parents. Daily quizzing wasn't part of the home routine. However, at school, sometimes I would get an answer stuck in my head to a point where that was the correct answer, always, no matter what. When the correct answer was eventually given, I would get so focused on being correct, that I completely ignored my surroundings, losing out on the real answer. Other issues also occurred in school that had my teachers worried but my parents didn't want to have me checked out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now before I continue to the next part, this is just my personal experience and is just a thought about what your son may be going through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I developed my own methods of coping with getting an education. Those self-taught skills of &quot;snapping myself out of it&quot; to pay attention to my surroundings lasted me all the way up until graduation. After that, I joined the military and was away from formal education for a bit, so some of these issues I had been having were forgotten. After leaving the military and beginning college, these issues resurfaced and I began to struggle with assignments because I would get hyper-focused on different topics very rapidly. So 17 years after grade school, I took the initiative to go see someone about these issues I was having in school and I was diagnosed with ADD. Since then, my counselor and I have been working in sessions on how I can improve my abilities as a student and how to relax in an educational environment, so I don't hyper-focus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, just personal experience. If it becomes a problem, see someone about it. Avoid medication or at least avoid stimulants and he should be able to get the skills he needs, assuming this is the same issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was asked to expound upon the skills I had to learn by myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Move, do something, be in a state of motion constantly, when attention is needed. For some reason people find this more annoying than a skill, but I found it useful. Whenever I tapped or wiggled my leg, or if standing, shifted my weight constantly, I found that I stayed engaged. When I say state of motion, I don't mean pacing or doing jumping jacks, even small things would work. Unfortunately now, I have a bad habit of tapping. Some people find that annoying but in my alone time, I find it to be quite useful. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Remind yourself to stay engaged. This was tough. I always &lt;em&gt;knew&lt;/em&gt; when I needed to stay on topic, I just had a tendency to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; do it. I had to actively remind myself to stay on focus, whether it was a mental poke or something more audible like asking myself &quot;Ok, what am I doing right now and what should I be doing.&quot; It's only crazy if you respond to yourself :-).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Limiting projects and self-requirements. Don't allow your son to put a lot on his plate. The more he has on it, the easier it is to get distracted and not &quot;be in the now&quot;. I found that when I slimmed down the projects I was working on, or the responsibilities I was giving myself, I kept my head in the game more often. When I do have a lot on my plate, I get distracted by &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of the projects and when thinking about something outside of those projects (these exercises would be something outside of my scope of importance), I would spend minimal time thinking about it, make up my mind about what I was going to do about it (in this case, choosing an answer), and never look back (sticking with the answer).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this isn't making you more confused. What I can tell you is that a big factor in my performance was how stressed I was. With just the right amount of stress, I found that I was more productive, worked faster, and generally did better work. However, my stress level has a tipping point. If it ever goes over that edge, I shut down mentally as well as physically. This was one of the reasons I sought help due to a culmination of events that shut me down for about a week. Honestly, ever since seeking treatment, I feel very good about my progress. Again, this may not be what your son is going through. It's just a thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-04-18T16:26:47.590" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T16:26:47.590" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12205" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12206" CreationDate="2014-04-18T14:52:13.347" Score="3" ViewCount="197" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are near the middle point of age 2 with our first born. At this point, she has learned a few words, which we are excited about since we are a bilingual home. One of her favorites is &quot;no&quot;. I realize this is most likely just a phase and everyone talks about how toddlers are becoming independent, testing their parents every move. The reason I am concerned is because it has gotten worse. Ever since our second was born, she has said &quot;no&quot; constantly and is just generally defiant. I realize she is most likely jealous of the perceived attention drawn away from her and put on to him, but I don't know how to let her know that 1, we still care about her and love her deeply and 2, at the same time, let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. Has anyone dealt with a situation similar to this? If so, how did you approach it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T20:02:06.227" Title="How to deal with &quot;no&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12205" CreationDate="2014-04-18T20:02:06.227" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give is to make sure she understands the times when 'No!' or defiance is acceptable and when it's not.  Sometimes, &quot;No&quot; is totally okay - &quot;Do you want ice cream?&quot;.  Sometimes it's not what you want to hear, but it's probably acceptable: &quot;Do you want green beans?&quot;.  Sometimes it's not acceptable, but you can accept the answer and work with her (&quot;I don't want to eat anything&quot;, my son's favorite).  And finally, sometimes it's unacceptable and you can't brook any discussion (&quot;I don't want to get off the bus at our stop&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For 1 and 2, allow the no - but make sure they know the consequences of the no.  If she says &quot;No&quot; to ice cream, okay - and that means no ice cream that day (and stick to it).  If she says &quot;No&quot; to green beans, assuming you've decided not to make this a 'must', say okay - and that means no dessert, or it means no additional food later in the evening if she's still hungry.  Meaningful &quot;No&quot; allows your daughter control over her environment, and it also introduces the concept of consequences.  Let her own her &quot;No&quot;, but also own the consequences, and stick to them.  &quot;I don't want ice cream, I want a toy car&quot; happens a lot for us; he gets his toy car, and then has to watch Mommy and Daddy eat their ice cream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For 3, explain to her why she needs to follow the instruction.  &quot;You need to eat dinner, because you will be hungry if you don't.&quot;  If you can give her an option that's acceptable, do so (make this a #2) - odds are she'll take it.  &quot;You don't have to eat anything if you're not hungry, but you need to sit at the table.&quot;  or &quot;You don't have to eat the meatloaf I made, but you have to eat either that or one of the leftovers we have,&quot; for example.  If that doesn't work, then this converts to a #4 situation.  Key here, though, is explain - do not let her argue.  If you're going to offer options, that should be the first thing out of your mouth.  A lot of &quot;No&quot; is trying to figure out if she can move you off your point - if you don't want to be moved, don't get into the discussion of it being optional.  Explain why it's not optional and then make it clear you expect compliance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For 4, enforce the required activity as immediately as is needed.  If you're getting off a bus, pick her up and move her off the bus like a baby.  If you don't need quite so immediate action, but this is a 'definite yes' situation, tell her calmly that she needs to do whatever it is, right now.  Make sure it's clear, timebound, and specific.  &quot;You need to go to the table right now.&quot;  If she doesn't, it might be time to start doing short (1-2 minute) time outs.  Some people like to count (If you don't ... by the time I get to 3, ...).  Others don't find that effective as the kid won't do it until you start counting, so you spend half your life counting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever the rule, make sure you are specific and consistent, and most importantly don't get mad or yell.  Keep a level tone no matter what.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T20:02:06.227" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12208" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12219" CreationDate="2014-04-18T22:05:26.207" Score="5" ViewCount="12365" Body="&lt;p&gt;For example, our 3-year-old son would cry when&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;his younger sister was standing when she was supposed to be sitting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a door was closed when it was supposed to be open&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we had not put his socks on before he went to bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;his pram was left outside the house, when it was supposed to be inside&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he noticed his pillow case is changed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried to explain to him that he didn't have to cry, but it didn't seem to work. How do we help him not to cry over these things? Is this something that will soon pass as he gets a bit older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastEditorUserId="6561" LastEditDate="2014-05-11T12:06:54.247" LastActivityDate="2014-05-11T12:06:54.247" Title="Is it common for a toddler to cry when things are not in order?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12208" CreationDate="2014-04-18T23:54:42.610" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers cry for the strangest of reasons. My favorite of many stories I heard is &quot;He cried because he wasn't allowed to lick the dog.&quot; So I wouldn't take this too serious for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His crying might either be just random, or it might be an indication that you are enforcing rules to strictly (can't tell from your question). If you think that might be the case, you can ease the rules a bit or even allow him to do something very chaotic (jump through the dirt, paint something, throw around food), while you show him that this isn't the end of the world but just fun. Of course don't do this more than a few times, you just want to loosen the belt not remove all the work you've put into getting him to behave. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his behavior doesn't change within a few month or gets even worse, you might want to check with a doctor. There are some rare illnesses that cause a neurotic behavior. It is difficult to detect and often curable at this age, so better check with a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-04-18T23:54:42.610" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12197" CreationDate="2014-04-19T00:41:43.917" Score="51" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would provide much less information to your children than you have listed here. It would go something like this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Uncle Joe has a problem in his head and he hurts people on purpose. Not just people, but children like you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I won't allow him near you in case he decides to hurt you. (Optionally: it's a very small chance, but even a small chance is too much.) I will protect you from him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nana loves Uncle Joe so much, and wants him to be happy, so much that she will break my rules for him. If I leave you with Nana, she might let Uncle Joe near you. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until Nana agrees to help me protect you from Uncle Joe, I can't leave you at her house or let her take you places. It's really sad; I'm sad about it and I want you to have Nana time. I'm telling you about Uncle Joe so you understand I'm not being mean, and I'm not mad at Nana. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-04-19T00:41:43.917" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7293" CreationDate="2014-04-19T02:53:26.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was crawling and learning to pull herself up to look at what was on the coffee table or on anything she could explore, I worked on teaching the meaning of &quot;No!&quot; It takes repetition together with consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the last things that helped drive the meaning home was our stereo system. She'd pulled herself up to lean against the entertainment center and play with buttons on the receiver/amplifier. I saw her turn the large volume knob way up, and then she had a finger out to push the on/off switch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that moment, I gave a fairly sharp &quot;No!&quot; She somewhat froze and turned her head to look at me. She actually had a grin, probably pleased at getting a funny reaction out of me. As I repeated &quot;No!&quot; she turned back and pushed on/off. The stereo immediately belted out whatever was on the radio, and startled her to drop back on her behind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went over to turn it down and &quot;rescue&quot; her, still saying &quot;no&quot; but in a more conversational tone. I placed her farther away and let the music play at it's quieter volume.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By watching for opportunities to let the child experience consequences, your &quot;No&quot; is changed from a meaningless sound into something understood, a trustworthy warning. &quot;When mom/dad say that sound, I need to heed it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants don't understand 'talking' until a series of semantic connections are formed. One of your responsibilities is to help form those connections. &quot;No&quot; is one of the earliest needed, and it should create an automatic response. Creating trust in your words should be a prime objective as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And one thing that that means is that you can't be regularly saying 'no' if it doesn't have consequential meaning to the infant. (You can, but it won't reinforce trust in your words.) You might want to create situations such as making bad tasting foods available. Not harmful, but unpleasant for the infant. Trouble with that is that it's hard to tell what an infant will choose to like. Pureed radishes can give a harmless mouth burn, but might also be truly liked. Infant food can be pretty boring, and new tastes are often chosen for who knows what reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's something rejected by an infant, it can be useful, though. Keep it handy as a choice. Put some on a saucer next to pureed bananas. Say &quot;good&quot; when banana is grabbed and &quot;no&quot; for the radishes. It won't take long to get the meaning across if the choices have meaning to the infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the semantic meaning is both understood and trusted, it's far easier to use &quot;no&quot; in a general way to discourage other behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7361" LastActivityDate="2014-04-19T02:53:26.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12208" CreationDate="2014-04-19T04:51:08.147" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a young infant, my daughter tried to throw a kind of tantrum over some little thing in a restaurant. There was nothing that could be done to make it better. I calmly picked her up and took her out to sit by ourselves in the car while my wife finished her meal. My daughter was getting old enough to understand simple conversation, so I explained that we couldn't be messing with the quiet that others were wanting while eating. I told her it was okay to cry all she wanted, but it would be done privately. We stayed until 'mom' finished, and we all went home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was the last and only time we had to deal with such a situation in public. I didn't have a great time stuck in the car with a crying, frustrated little girl; but I knew it needed doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, the rule was that crying for no good reason was allowed; but it had to be done in the child's personal room. Not out in the common, shared areas. It's a rule of life to have consideration for others. Tantrums happened from time to time; but they seldom lasted long, and they completely stopped after only a few.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crying can be most common as a way to determine if desired results can be achieved or not. The more often things go well, the more often it'll be used. We learn to do what works. &quot;When I cry, things go my way.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An unfortunate aspect is that parents must respond to cries of any kind from an infant. However, parents can also learn. Many cries are from true discomfort and the discomfort should be addressed. Diaper trouble? Fix it. Significant hunger/thirst? Feed the infant. Infant startled and run over by the family dog that was playing and running around the front room? Check the infant for harm fairly quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if there is no real need for extended comforting and attention, do not continually extend the attention time unnecessarily. Infants will fall over, they'll bump their heads and feel some pains. They'll be startled and momentarily scared by any number of things. Well, sorry it happened, kid; but all of life will be that way. Learn to deal with the little things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time for bonding and affection should be set aside often. Human contact and interaction is needed, especially between parent and child. Make sure that such times are not neglected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But believe it or not and like it or not, one of your parental obligations is to teach your offspring to deal with the little stuff on their own. It can be done in small doses for infants so that larger instances are handled by them as children. Later as adults, it'll be automatic and a valuable skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be one of the hardest things for a parent to do to ignore their infant or toddler when it's crying. But you should learn to tell when it's a true need or when it's only an attempt to manipulate. Always check for anything that must be handled so the infant learns how reliable you are for those times when actually needed, and handle it. But walk away when it's determined that it's just some minor frustration that you're merely expected to fix. If a Fisher-Price toy has a square peg that will not fit through the round hole, you can't fix it; and you need to teach that it's not going to be fixed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go back to finish mowing the lawn. Finish vacuuming the floor. Finish doing the laundry or preparing a meal or whatever actually requires your presence. Leave the infant to cry until it learns that it's not effective as a way simply to sooth any little frustration. Teaching a degree of self-reliance and ability to deal with minor obstacles alone is just as much of a responsibility and obligation as all other elements of parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Accept the responsibility, and it'll be a little easier to withstand the crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7361" LastEditorUserId="7361" LastEditDate="2014-04-19T04:56:29.670" LastActivityDate="2014-04-19T04:56:29.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12208" CreationDate="2014-04-19T05:59:09.173" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the crying is not so much about things not being just-so, as it is about the toddler not having control over the world. Being able to control things is a new feature of a toddler's life, and, as with all skills just acquired, toddlers (and babies) tend to practice them to degrees that are unusual for us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son who just turned three is the same. In fact, there is a whole website dedicated to silly reasons kids cry! It's called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.reasonsmysoniscrying.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;reasons my son is crying&lt;/a&gt;. There you can find a whole range of unreasonable reasons that make toddlers miserable - but it will make you feel better! :) Some guy started putting up photos of his crying toddler and listing reasons why he's crying (my favorite: &quot;We helped him put on the boots that he loves&quot;), and it became a hit, with parents sending their own pictures and listing the reasons their own toddlers cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have different approaches to this controlling behavior. My husband thinks the requests of our son are silly, and should be treated as silly, i.e. not indulged. I think the requests are silly, and as such, are often unimportant enough (to me) to be indulged. But since I play along with these silly rules our kid imposes, I can also use them to my advantage. He wants three of everything? [Because he's three years old.] Then he should also take three spoonfuls of the veggies he was planning to ignore. He really really wants me to wear my blue shoes? Then I'll threaten to wear the red ones (the horror!) if he's too distracted to get ready when it's time to go out. You get the idea. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastEditorUserId="2229" LastEditDate="2014-04-19T18:59:22.083" LastActivityDate="2014-04-19T18:59:22.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3599" CreationDate="2014-04-19T11:02:38.607" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bleach is a powerful biocide. I suggest you abandon your current algae prevention methods and instead just squirt a little diluted bleach (perhaps a couple of ml.) every few weeks  through the hole by which the water gets into the ducks, using a syringe. I can guarantee nothing will grow inside them if you do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7324" LastActivityDate="2014-04-19T11:02:38.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12208" CreationDate="2014-04-19T12:05:36.167" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can try the following but I'm not sure how well it works for this kind of situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You acknowledge that the child is crying and that to them they have a valid reason for doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You tell them to use words.  You tell them that you cannot understand them when they are crying and that to help them you need to hear them.  You ask them what the problem is, and why it is a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it something that can be fixed?  You either show them how to fix it themselves, or you say &quot;thank you for using your words to tell me!  Next time what do you think you will say?&quot;; then try to get them to say it; then reply &quot;of course I can, when you ask so nicely&quot;. Give them a bit of reassurance and talk about frustration and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's something that can't be fixed you still acknowledge the emotion and the want, but you say calmly and firmly that it can't happen and then distract the child.  (Indon't find this particularly effective, but it's what's been recommended to me).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-04-19T12:05:36.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12216" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-20T04:39:29.300" Score="6" ViewCount="1763" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3 year old daughter and a 9 year old girl in the neighborhood always comes around wanting to play with her.  Is it appropriate?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not think so… but my wife says it is all right as long as she is present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7392" LastEditorUserId="17226" LastEditDate="2022-05-21T09:09:45.653" LastActivityDate="2022-05-21T09:09:45.653" Title="Can it be appropriate for a 3 year old to play with a 9 year old?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12197" CreationDate="2014-04-20T05:00:51.563" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a horrible dilemma!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I see it, your problem comprises three distinct elements:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your mother has little or no sense of what reasonable boundaries consist of. She also lies when it suits her purposes, and for some reason has prioritized her relationship with her son over the safety of her grandchildren&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your uncle has even less sense of boundaries than your mother, and there is a strong risk that he will attempt to prey on your children if he ever gets the chance&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At least one of your children wants a relationship with their grandmother, and &lt;em&gt;vice versa&lt;/em&gt; (and therein lies the complication)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The welfare and safety of your children must clearly come first, as you yourself have been at pains to emphasize. So any family visitations must a) completely exclude your uncle; b) even when these only involve your mother, must be fully supervised; c) cannot be allowed to take place at her house while your uncle is living next door or somewhere else close by; and d) will have to be terminated forthwith if your mother ever invites your uncle to be present, or brings him along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the course you have been following sounds very reasonable and appropriate for the circumstances. It's a great shame that your mother's fecklessness has made her part of the problem surrounding your uncle rather than part of the solution; but your description of every aspect of her handling of the situation makes it obvious that she cannot be made to see your point of view or be trusted to behave responsibly without close supervision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because your eldest child is the one who is keenest to spend time with his grandmother, he is also the one who will need to be given the most detailed reason for not being able to see her as much as he would like. Maybe one way to explain it to him is to compare his grandmother's behaviour with that of some naughty and disobedient child he knows who keeps getting into trouble even after her parents have asked her to behave herself. At the same time, you could compare your uncle to a bully who likes to physically hurt people and who for that reason must be kept away from him and your other children -- the same reason that he was put in prison. Then leave it to your son to ask for more details if he still feels he needs them. And I would definitely avoid debating any of this with your mother in front of the children, in order to minimize the risk of it causing them to feel that they are being forced to choose between you and her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, before you get to the stage of discussing the situation with your son, you might consider asking the school psychologist (or other professional with pastoral responsibilities for the children attending your son's school) what they think would be the best way to explain the reason for your uncle's exclusion from the life of your family. That will have the additional benefit of making your son's school aware of a potential problem in the event that (for instance) your uncle turns up at the school one day on the pretext of giving your son a ride home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, pay no attention to the criticisms you are getting from your mom's sisters or others about the restrictions on your children's interactions with their grandmother. They're not the ones who have to take the responsibility for your children's welfare. If, given the circumstances you have outlined, your mom's sisters are unable to understand and accept your perspective on the safety of your children, then I'd also question &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; fitness to be around your kids without supervision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7324" LastEditorUserId="7324" LastEditDate="2014-04-20T20:23:07.137" LastActivityDate="2014-04-20T20:23:07.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2014-04-20T14:17:11.990" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;So far the answers have been mainly about medical issues, physiological issues, and whether or not the child is spoiled (which are all valid). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you and or your husband yell at each other in front of her or scream at her? Do you find yourself thinking that she acts &quot;just like her father&quot; ? If the answer is yes, I would consider that she acts this way because it is how you have taught her it is normal to behave. I'm not implying that you DO these things, just that if you do, you and your husband may be culpable for this issue. You can't expect a child (or teen) to handle everyday disappointments with maturity and reasonableness if they are constantly offered screaming and irrationality as the solution to trivial problems. You say that &quot;everything sets her off&quot;. &lt;em&gt;I ask you, does everything also set off you or your husband?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can think of many example of people I've known that as children or teens acted this way. But the reasons are so varied there is no one box they can all be placed in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a friend who had a dad that used to beat him - low and behold my friend had an explosive temper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife had a horrible hormone imbalance that cause her to act this way that we didn't figure out until she went on birth control pills and her temper was magnified ten fold. The hormone imbalance went away after having our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine has a son (13) who acts this way but he has Asperger's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I acted this way because my mother was a detached suicidal Schizophrenic and my father was a drill Sargent. I literally knew no other way to deal with my emotions about all the bad things I had seen, which manifest in outbursts for trivial problems.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An ex-girlfriend of mine (and especially her sister) both acted like this (screaming constantly, arguing with everything, fighting multiple times a day) because their parents never punished them in anyway for bad behavior. The were entitled spoiled rotten and really unintelligent. I truly believe that simply being so unintelligent can cause this as it is such a primal way to act. If someone isn't smart enough to comprehend right/wrong in a way that takes others feeling into account, and they have never seen a punishment for acting this way, how could they possibly be any other way? I know this sounds harsh, but my ex-girlfriend hated reading, openly disliked everything about knowledge, and her parents just always told her she was an intelligent, smart, and strong young woman. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Fifteen years later, guess what? She is still like this. Can't keep a relationship, is always angry. Her sister grew out of it though. He sister also went to college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Human tends to learn to do &lt;em&gt;what works&lt;/em&gt;. I suggest, that she only has a problem if she has consistently not gained anything from acting like this. If she (the majority of the time) has gotten what she wants from acting like this, she doesn't have a problem, you do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you find some solution for everyone's sake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7397" LastActivityDate="2014-04-20T14:17:11.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12208" CreationDate="2014-04-20T14:27:42.027" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is common for toddlers to cry when things are not in order.  Why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, at that age, kids like consistency because it &lt;a href=&quot;http://spock.fcs.uga.edu/ext/bbb/consistElements.php&quot;&gt;offers a sense of security&lt;/a&gt;.  Knowing things are always in their place means that other, more important things will also always be in their place - like mommy and daddy will always come home, food will always be on the table, etc.  They cry when they think it should be one way and it isn't, because their sense of security is lessened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, because they are constantly learning new things, it is easier on them if things they've already 'learned' are constant.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/why-toddlers-love-repetition/&quot;&gt;Parenting Magazine&lt;/a&gt; has a good article on the subject of repetition, and things being in their place is a form of (long-term) repetition.  When things are not constant, it stresses them out, as something they thought they'd learned proved to be false - something still a problem for adults often. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, in a related element, things being always the same is how they learn how things 'should' be - whether it is learning that mommy loves them, that &quot;B&quot; says &quot;Buh&quot;, or that a table always has four chairs.  It's in particular how they learn behavior and social protocols; mommy always does something, so they learn that is what they should do.  Hence crying when, for example, sister doesn't sit down when she should - because they think that's the rule and don't understand why it isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth, toddlers haven't learned about gradients yet.  Everything is black or white - you should do something or you shouldn't.  The concept of &quot;pick your battles&quot; is alien to them.  More, though, this means that even very minor things can be 'huge problems', which leads to crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, toddlers like to have a sense of control over their environment.  They're small, and mostly have to do what they're told, so they like to exert control over what they can.  Some of the crying over things being out of place is trying to exert this control.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach with our soon to be three year old son is that every time he has a 'problem' to discuss whether it is a 'big problem' or a 'little problem'.  His little brother not doing something he should is a 'little problem', unless he's biting or hurting him, in which case it is a 'big problem'.  Spilling his milk or even breaking a cup on accident is a 'little problem'.  Running towards the street is a 'big problem'. Etc.  Making it clear that things that truly threaten safety are big problems, and most other things are little problems, has helped him learn not to sweat small things - he still has to help clean up the milk, but he's not in trouble and there aren't serious consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things, like using the proper bowls or sitting in the right spot, we largely deal with by asking him what he wants.  It gives him a sense of control, and also avoids some of the complaints over things being out of place or incorrect, since he can tell us what the right rule is.  Some of these rules are undoubtedly patterns that he noticed that we don't - so we let him figure it out and tell us when it doesn't make much real difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, though, we just talk to him about what's bothering him and try to explain the right way to go about telling us something's out of place.  Door should be closed?  Okay, go close it.  Mommy not doing something right?  Ask her politely to do it the other way.  Also, accept 'no' - which doesn't go terribly well still, but it's a (long) work in progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-20T14:27:42.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12216" CreationDate="2014-04-20T16:29:11.293" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would agree with your wife as long as there aren't any circumstances/details that you haven't mentioned that would change this situation from two normal children playing together to...something else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, the key here is &lt;em&gt;supervision&lt;/em&gt;. If your wife is willing to supervise, there is no opportunity for the 9 year old to expose your 3 year old to &quot;typical&quot; 9 year old stuff that by age difference alone might be inappropriate, but mostly harmless. By this I mean talk of &quot;boyfriends&quot; (believe me, even at 9, this may come up- thanks Disney Channel :-/ ) which has a very benign meaning at that age but still might be a topic you'd rather avoid at 3. Or, perhaps more likely with boys than girls, is the potty talk that 9 year olds LOVE. (It's actually pretty hard to deny that human beings of all ages and genders find toilet humor to be at least somewhat amusing, isn't it?). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, 9 year olds are at a stage where they are starting to take on more responsibilities  and often crave a &quot;regression&quot; now and then as a &quot;break&quot; from all that.  This 9 year old may not have any siblings at home to share that time with and is seeking it with your daughter.  If you are worried about what kinds of activities they would be able to both enjoy, don't, if I'm right the 9 year old will be very happy to do whatever your daughter would want to do on her own.  I see this with my 9 year old and his brothers (who are 2 and 4) and with our neighbor across the street who is 9 as well. She frequently plays with the 4 year old girl two houses down.  My son also used to play (supervised) with a 2 year old girl in our old neighborhood where he had tons of other kids his age (6 at the time) to play with- I too thought it was weird, but when I asked him about it he always used to say he enjoyed the &quot;quiet baby play&quot; and &quot;taking care of her.&quot;  The girl's dad always welcomed my son and appreciated the socialization since the girl's siblings were much older and uninterested.  They were never unsupervised, and it was a good experience for both of them.  When we moved the girl's dad was disappointed that my son wouldn't be around anymore-he told us that his daughter's language skills and desire to potty train had improved and he attributed it to time spent with an older kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking of siblings...as I mentioned, my own household puts a 9 year old and a 4 year old together to play almost everyday and of course the obvious difference is that there's inherent trust between siblings (or not! There's a lot of wrestling at my house-not all of it friendly!). However, from my day to day observation of these two ages interacting I can tell you that when the activity does skew more towards the 9 year old level, it is a fantastic opportunity for the little one to have new experiences explained at a more relatable level.  My 9 year old is still a child himself so he can explain things in a way that I can't as an adult.  He has way more patience at times too. For instance, my son is teaching my 4 year old to ride a bike. He can still remember being frustrated by his failures at bike riding and gives my LO genuine heartfelt encouragement.  And he also shares techniques that anyone who's been riding for years takes for granted. To sum up, the big kid experiences the 9 year old brings to the table are positive ones and mostly ones your daughter will have eventually on her own anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This leads me to my final point:  allowing this friendship now, under supervision, can very possibly lead to a more long term relationship not only with your daughter but also with you and your wife.  Depending on your circumstances and feelings about childcare, you could be paving the way towards a reliable, trusted baby sitter.  Or, if not all out totally unsupervised babysitting, perhaps a &quot;mother's helper&quot; situation at least which also has value.  You may be dead- set against &quot;strangers&quot; watching your kids (my husband is- and it's really hard since we have very very few family members to rely on). Nobody needs a 5 year old's help painting a hallway right?  A &quot;mother's helper&quot; is such an asset at times where you just need someone to keep your child occupied but not necessarily away from home.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on these personal experiences, and barring anything you haven't mentioned, I tend to think this relationship has more pros than cons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-04-20T16:29:11.293" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12221" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-20T23:37:04.977" Score="5" ViewCount="577" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of things that people are told in relation to bike helmets. I am concerned with the third.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;first&lt;/strong&gt; is that everyone should wear a helmet whenever riding a bicycle (not: kids have it placed as a safety expectation, but one that clearly doesn't apply to parents).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;second&lt;/strong&gt; is that if you get in an accident and fall on your helmet, &lt;em&gt;congratulations&lt;/em&gt;! You've destroyed completely the value of a perfectly good helmet, instead of the person suffering possible brain injury. &lt;em&gt;Throw it away and buy a new one that will protect for the next accident.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the &lt;strong&gt;third&lt;/strong&gt; is that there is a right way and a wrong way to put on a helmet, and the wrong way has a majority share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The right way is illustrated in the first picture, and the wrong, more common way, is in the second picture:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;RIGHT WAY:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/2opvj.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;WRONG WAY:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/t8tSo.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The difference, beside the fact that the right way looks dorky, uncool and way too far forward, is that if the person portrayed in the first picture were to faceplant hard, the helmet will take a good chunk of the impact; it may not directly protect the whole face but in a sizable portion of bicycle crashes the helmet will significantly mitigate the force of the impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second way that seems obvious and looks right will leave plenty of possibility for the helmet to be pushed out of the way, or not need to be pushed out of the way, so that if the person faceplants the helmet may have little effect beyond the ornamental. Having a helmet worn this way is a bit like wearing a seatbelt that is halfway to being pushed far in enough to click, and I have seen this way of wearing a good helmet on the picture on the front of a medical group's safety brochure explaining to parents why children should wear helmets for certain activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what is the best response when I see parents using helmets in some sense but not in a way that will really help in an accident. Mostly I've kept quiet when this happens, and I originally looked for a manners or communication StackExchange site to post this in, but I'm wondering what is an appropriate response when they think buying a helmet is enough, and do not seem to recognize that there is more to getting serious benefit from a helmet than somehow having the helmet touching a child's head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what kinds of responses are helpful when parents have paid for a helmet but aren't using it nearly as helpfully as it could be used?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7404" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T03:43:03.017" Title="What's the best way to respond when parents have kids put a helmet on a kid's head in a way that doesn't help that much?" Tags="|safety|communication|manners|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12221" CreationDate="2014-04-21T02:51:41.547" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say the answer depends on the role of the person asking the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you a bike shop owner or employee?  Then you should point it out to your customers, preferably while selling them a helmet.  Point it out to the parents who put helmets on their kids heads in your store.  You're basically an acknowledged public expert in the matter; this is roughly equivalent to Eric Lippert looking over my shoulder and pointing out my improper use of semicolons, or Phil Jackson walking by the gym and telling me my free-throw technique needs improvement.  Use that role to your advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you a biker seeing people on the road?  I'd keep your mouth shut then unless it's somebody you know.  You wouldn't want someone walking up to you on the street telling you that your shirt doesn't match your pants, either, and most people don't like being told how to parent by strangers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you a friend of the parents?  Then it's probably okay, if you are close enough to otherwise discuss parenting with them, or if you're the generally accepted expert on biking of your friend group; see #1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you a school teacher, pastor, or other esteemed member of the community with a mentor type role with the parents or children?  Then it's probably appropriate to mention it once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone else is similar to the biker on the road - it's not your business to directly confront anyone.  If you want to change peoples' minds, then do it via advocacy.  Write a blog post, go to online communities.  (I suppose perhaps you're doing that here.)  (If that is what you're doing here- or want to - post a question, &quot;What is the right way to put my child's helmet on?&quot; and answer it, with pictures as you did (but perhaps with a kid??).)  See if you can get your local news to do a story on it.  Especially if there's been a recent bike fatality, odds are they'll do it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-04-21T03:43:03.017" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T03:43:03.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12223" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-21T06:48:58.697" Score="4" ViewCount="390" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there any studies analyzing the benefits or harm done by interactive tablet games for infants as available on android \ios . The games involve hitting baloons, tapping screen, etc. How useful are they for development of infants?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:00:08.147" Title="Interactive tablet games for infants" Tags="|infant|games|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12224" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12227" CreationDate="2014-04-21T07:21:06.263" Score="41" ViewCount="9387" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a two and a half year old daughter. Recently she's been acting up generally, and ignoring &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time-out_%28parenting%29&quot;&gt;timeouts&lt;/a&gt; by getting up and walking away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would pick her up and plant her down again, but I know from experience that she'll see that as a game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(The behavior is intermittent - she doesn't do this every time she has a time out.)&#xA;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="2829" LastEditDate="2014-04-21T21:46:38.760" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T00:29:19.677" Title="My child is ignoring my timeouts and walking away from them. What are some options for handling this?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12225" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-21T07:27:37.060" Score="11" ViewCount="545" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently on a visit to our friend's place, my daughter witnessed my friend's 9-year-old son smack/punch a male adult. (They were playing rough and the adult pushed a little too hard and the boy fell down. He was a little hurt and probably also embarrassed. When the male adult when over to see if he was okay, the boy wheeled around and smacked/punched the adult.)&#xA;The adult was really angry and proceeded to yell at the boy. Eventually the mother came in and verbally disciplined the child and told him why that was the wrong thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, on a few occasions, my daughter smacked my wife. We think that it was because she witnessed that event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Immediately after the behavior, we gave her a timeout and explained to her that hitting is not good. We also reminded her that what she saw (boy hitting adult) was not right and not acceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I handle this going forward? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2014-04-25T23:11:54.090" Title="Child has been copying aggressive behavior...hitting adults. What should I do?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12173" CreationDate="2014-04-21T14:31:48.313" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everyone has different standards about what kind of relationships are appropriate and inappropriate. In general this hits enough hot buttons (especially the age disparity and the &quot;open relationship&quot;) that you are not in some strange minority by thinking it's inappropriate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forbidding sleepovers with anyone who there may be a romantic relationship with is entirely prudent and I would question the parenting of anyone who wouldn't do that. If my daughter wanted to have boys over for &quot;sleepovers&quot; the answer would be an age/intent appropriately explained version of &quot;Absolutely not.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking to the 17 year old was probably OK - it's unclear from the question whether you told her she couldn't see the 17 year old clearly first, and then followed up with the 17 year old just to make sure the (much more mature, and potentially at legal risk) older party understood what was up. That's not wrong to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pulling her out of the class is a little more drastic, but as the person closest to the action you have to evaluate whether you believe the class, and the people involved, will likely lead to inappropriate behavior or not. There's a continuum of &quot;it's a class supervised by adult teachers in a public place, and the 17 year old is straight and had no idea this was all going on&quot; to &quot;it's a child supervised class held informally and the 17 year old was sexting the 13 year old merrily before you cracked down.&quot; Obviously pulling her is appropriate on one extreme and less so on the other extreme; judgement is required. You can't pull a kid from every activity where they find someone sexually attractive - if you had a 13 year old boy that would be &quot;every single activity ever.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 13 year old girl is going to &quot;hate you&quot; for something, some of the time, regardless of what you do.  It's the nature of that age's riotous emotions and the enforcement you have to provide as part of parenting. It's one of the burdens you have to bear as a parent to raise your child right and safely in the world. It hurts, but as long as you continue to show them your love and support but consistently enforce rules and boundaries, it'll pay off in the end. Continue to love and support her in the usual ways and she'll get over it. Every new experience seems like it's the MOST DRAMATIC THING EVER to a child (and it is, from their limited experience!). Tell her you're sorry she's upset, and that you are trying to do what's best for her, and that you want to listen to her thoughts and feelings about it - and then go make dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one thing that you may have done poorly, and this is reading between the lines, is in having these discussions and setting expectations with your daughter in the first place. Is it a surprise to her that you disapprove of a much older *-friend, or an &quot;open relationship,&quot; or a homosexual relationship, or a sexual relationship as a minor at all, or whatever your set of morals are? (Sounds like you're OK with some of those but not others, just including all the buttons pressed in the situation - it's a poor use of this SE for people to debate whose morals are right, and has nothing to do with parenting per se.) If this is a surprise to her, why?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent you have a responsibility to &lt;em&gt;proactively&lt;/em&gt; explain the boundaries and explain why you hold to them. It's a lot harder for a child to take, and it seems a lot more arbitrary, when enforcement suddenly appears &quot;out of the blue.&quot;  The culture that kids get in school and from the Internet nowadays is extremely permissive (as some of these answers show) and tend towards &quot;everything is permitted.&quot; It's your responsibility to instill resistance to the harmful parts of that so that she knows, for example, that a much older person is taking advantage of them whether they intend to or not, or that because you have sudden strong feelings for another person at 13 doesn't really make you &quot;gay&quot; or &quot;bi&quot; (I had strong feelings for my bicycle seat, at 13), or whatever other wisdom you hold to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T14:31:48.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12224" CreationDate="2014-04-21T14:36:28.057" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put the child back in timeout and reset the time. Without exception.  Like most other parenting duties this is all about consistency. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ignore laughing or other such - the child is trying that behavior out to elicit a reaction from you. Stay calm and firm. Don't interact beyond enforcement (that downtime's the point of the time-out, and they may be trying to pass the time in a more entertaining manner with you!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age, timeouts don't work unsupervised, you have to be right there. It can be a hassle, but that's parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastEditorUserId="1750" LastEditDate="2014-04-21T15:48:28.083" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:48:28.083" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12224" CreationDate="2014-04-21T14:38:47.957" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a son the same age, and I can tell you that timeouts are pretty hard at that age.  Many don't recommend timeouts until 3, for several reasons - this included.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we have managed to get our son (after nine months of effort!) to do time outs fairly effectively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, we try to make sure to not have them in anger or to make them punishments.  This might be obvious - but worth stating.  Time outs are emotionless, just temporary breaks while you and the child cool off - both of you.  As such, one useful thing to do particularly at this age is to &lt;em&gt;yourself&lt;/em&gt; take the timeout.  Go somewhere away from the child - not so far that she's unsafe of course, but put some barrier between the two of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, we give our son a book during his time outs.  One we choose - and if he's biting, for example, he's getting the &quot;Biting Hurts!&quot; book - but still, a book.  Time out is to distract him from his course of misbehavior and reset him to normal - sitting down with a book is good for that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put him in a calm and quiet part of the house - on his bed, on the landing of the stairs before the gate, etc. - sit him down with the book, and set a timer, the same one we use for non-time-out things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he gets up, and moves more than a reasonable amount, then the time out starts over and we re-place him there.  This goes three times.  If it happens more than three times, he goes into the high chair for the timeout (a safe highchair, as he/she may well rock it or try to get out - not against a wall for sure).  This actually works pretty well, as he's used to being in the high chair in the relatively calm environment of lunch.  We also found that usually, that's not needed - simply sitting down with the book is usually enough.  We don't even necessarily take away toys, if they're not related to the misbehavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, be prepared to have a few (dozen) bad experiences - and then one good one.  Praise the good one.  It takes time and effort, but it will eventually work - even if it seems like a game for a while.  The game may well work, in and of itself - the point, after all, is to get your child to redirect from the misbehavior to something else.  So what if that something else is a sit down/stand up game?  Be consistent, but don't focus too much on exactly the form of what's happening.  If it works to get her to stop misbehaving, then that's a plus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T14:38:47.957" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12225" CreationDate="2014-04-21T14:39:08.080" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are doing the right thing - just keep doing it without exception. Don't let her get away with it at a friend's house, public venue, etc. Consistency in discipline is what makes it work (it always takes an unreasonable amount of time from the parent's perspective, but it does work).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have some friends whose kids got into a stage where they get tossed out of day care for hitting. Kids try out behaviors, and since they know parents aren't always 100% consistent, they can try them out for a while as they internalize all the different ramifications of the behavior. You just have to keep on top of it firmly, doing what you describe in the question, and it will pass (if it doesn't, then you need to get additional help, but that's quite rare and this is a very common experience).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastEditorUserId="1750" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T15:31:44.327" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T15:31:44.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12223" CreationDate="2014-04-21T15:00:08.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the contrary, these games while &lt;em&gt;seeming&lt;/em&gt; to help children learn, are on a problematic medium for them to digest them on. Hand-eye co-ordination is better learnt outside, and with three dimensional games, and eye muscles are still developing and gaining strength.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cris-rowan/10-reasons-why-handheld-devices-should-be-banned_b_4899218.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cris-rowan/10-reasons-why-handheld-devices-should-be-banned_b_4899218.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some useful excerpts include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stimulation to a developing brain caused by overexposure to technologies (cell phones, internet, iPads, TV), has been shown to be associated with executive functioning and attention deficit, cognitive delays, impaired learning, increased impulsivity and decreased ability to self-regulate, e.g. tantrums (Small 2008, Pagini 2010).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use of technology under the age of 12 years is detrimental to child development and learning (Rowan 2010).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Technology overuse is implicated as a causal factor in rising rates of child depression, anxiety, attachment disorder, attention deficit, autism, bipolar disorder, psychosis and problematic child behavior (Bristol University 2010, Mentzoni 2011, Shin 2011, Liberatore 2011, Robinson 2008).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;High speed media content can contribute to attention deficit, as well as decreased concentration and memory, due to the brain pruning neuronal tracks to the frontal cortex (Christakis 2004, Small 2008)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;is a decent if somewhat hyperbolic article (there are many, many others that more accurately address the points made). most of the points apply to TV instead of learning games, but learning games for toddlers have no empirical evidence base, so I'd treat them as equally suspect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/236211.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/236211.php&lt;/a&gt; covers the current guidelines by the American Association of Pediatricians.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Excerpt here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The report concludes that:&#xA;Although many video programs aimed at babies and toddlers are marketed as &amp;quot;educational&amp;quot; there is no evidence that they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Programs are only educational if children understand the content and context of what is being screened: studies have shown consistently that only the over-2s have this understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unstructured play is more valuable for the young developing brain than watching electronic media.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unstructured play gives young children the opportunity to think creatively, learn how to problem solve, develop reasoning and develop motor skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Free play also helps them learn how to entertain themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young children need to interact with humans, not screens, and they learn best this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Watching TV and videos with your child may increase their understanding, but he or she will learn more from a live presentation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Watching your own program when your young child is with you is &amp;quot;background media&amp;quot; for them and it detracts from the interaction between you: it may also interfere with their learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Watching TV and videos at bedtime is not a good sleep habit: it disrupts healthy sleep which can affect mood, behavior and learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Research shows that young children who watch a lot of TV and other media have a higher risk of delayed language development when they start school, although the reasons for this are unclear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child has plenty of time to learn how to use technology, but it isn't necessary to start them on iPads and Android Tablets at three years of age. While&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A host of research studies have shown that when media content are designed with research-based knowledge of how children use and understand media, and when they are designed to incorporate systematic academic or social curricula, children benefit (Schmidt, M. E., &amp;amp; Anderson, D. R. (2007); Fisch, S. M. (2004)). (David Kleeman, Huffington Post)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;you could better enable them to learn the type of thing you seem to want to teach by using a Wii or similar. Limiting screen time to a maximum of 1-2 hours per day for under 8's seems to be the prevailing wisdom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So to directly answer your question: no studies that I'm aware of show any benefits, however Google Scholar and other journal searching resources may be able to find a one. However, you should consider why you want to use a screen as a teaching aid and whether it provides any tangible benefits for your child - mostly it is implied by journal articles that parents providing screen time for children is ultimately for reasons to do with the parent rather than the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7409" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:00:08.147" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12224" CreationDate="2014-04-21T15:14:53.693" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember that Time-Out is not a Punishment. if you believe that then make sure your behavior during/after time-out is also giving same impression to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you said if she is not doing every time, that means she knows that you have given her time out and in certain occasions she feels it is not valid. may be she has seen you doing the similar thing in house. By taking some time-out yourself check that you are giving her time-out for right reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;w/o some examples when she takes her time-out seriously and when not I can say following;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feels that she is enjoying making fun of  time-out try to calm down yourself first and find patterns in occasions when she does it and that may give hint. this will take time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile change rule a bit. Do the time out together. during time-out do some activity she likes to gather and see if that changes her behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4999" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:14:53.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12150" CreationDate="2014-04-21T15:18:47.060" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The amperage on a USB socket is typically 0.5-1.0A on a PC, sometimes less (300mA is common for a low power device). High current USB chargers are usually 2.0-2.5A, for instance the Google Nexus 7 tablet charger and some new smartphone chargers, however most mobile phone chargers are 700-1000mA, for instance a Nokia 520/525 would be 750mA and a Samsung Galaxy Nexus charger is 1.0A. As user7316 says - well below the threshold (he calls it a line) for any damage, and shorting the current would require shorting between charger pins - inserting a screwdriver into the port wouldn't do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless, Jax makes a decent point - childproofing is as much about making things like screwdrivers unavailable to children and watching their behaviour to prevent 'excursions' as it is removing places to stick them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As TechieType says - it's a 5V design - not enough volts or amps to feel it unless you use your tongue. Whatever the current is on the wall plate, only needs covering if you think it is in any way possible for your child to use leverage on it to break the plastic (probably not a problem if it's a metal cover) and expose themselves to whatever voltage your house mains electricity is. Hopefully the breaker would go - having an electrician check these are actually working correctly might be a good idea, as doing things like using 10A 'fast trip' breakers instead of 20A 'slower' breakers may be advisable with kids. All these breakers essentially melt at different speeds depending on the thickness and material involved, and the current involved when the thing breaks, so ensuring they're working as designed can be the difference between a life-saving trip and a nasty accident.*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*mild hyperbole involved, but all true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7409" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:18:47.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2338" CreationDate="2014-04-21T15:29:05.273" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just a random - if you do have a child and breast feed, you may need or want a breast pump at some point. If you do, don't waste your money with a non-'&lt;em&gt;hospital grade&lt;/em&gt; pump, and instead get a Spectra S1/S2 or Medela Swing (or similar). Buy second hand and sterilise well if you want to save money, or if you need &lt;em&gt;free&lt;/em&gt;, hand express. For supply issues, this is way more important than anything else, and in Australia you can be talking about $45/week to hire a decent one. We bought a $229-319 Spectra (S1 has a battery) and the Medela Harmony2 was returned - the Spectra was as good, and faster still. Cleared up mastitis and blocked ducts very well when in combination with baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Latching problems, sucking problems etc are all fairly common. Kids are awesome though. We adore our 6-week old, even if sleep deprivation is a bit horrific!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, remember that deciding you will try for children is no guarantee of being successful - it may take time and effort! I can only say that it's better to decide while your fertility as a couple is as close to its peak as possible, rather than gamble when you're in your later 30's or 40's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7409" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:29:05.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12197" CreationDate="2014-04-21T15:37:34.007" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some very good answers here, but I thought I had some value to add. My ex-wife's father was a serial molester and we took great care that he never interacted with our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Before talking to the kids, explain very clearly the situation to all adults involved. Make a policy and write it down.  (Understand the legal rules as well, and incorporate those.) Make sure you and your spouse are bought into the rules.  Explain the rules to your mother, sisters, Uncle Joe, school, day care, and possibly Uncle Joe's parole officer, court officer to get a restraining order, etc.  It doesn't have to be complicated, just something like (I'm just making up some facts for sake of an example):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Uncle Joe is a convicted pedophile and his writings show he believes that behavior is still OK and justified and is unlikely to stop engaging in it. The terms of his release indicate that he is not to interact with children or go near schools or [whatever]. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Uncle Joe is not allowed to be near or interact with our children in any way, regardless of what other family members are with him. Contact or communication of our children with Uncle Joe is not to be allowed by anyone. You are not to discuss Uncle Joe or the situation with our children. If you become aware of any attempt by Uncle Joe to contact our children, you must report it to us immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Any breach of these rules will result in us reporting the incident and all participants to [Joe's parole officer, the cops, CPS, whatever's appropriate in your locality and situation] and force us to not allow our children to be in your care. We love and value all our family members but the safety of our children is our highest responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Then explain to the kids along @Chrys' lines that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Uncle Joe is sick in the head and sometimes hurts children. He went to jail for a while but isn't better yet, and still might hurt kids. He's coming back to live near Nana. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The law, and Mommy and Daddy, want to keep you safe, and we say that he can't see you or talk to you, even with Nana or anyone else. You need to tell us if you ever see Uncle Joe, if he calls or writes or texts or emails you, or if anyone else talks to you about him. (Or other kid-simplified version of the policy in #1). You won't get in trouble, but if he's talking to you he's doing something wrong and we need you to tell us.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Nana loves Uncle Joe and wants to try to help him, but she doesn't understand the rules and might let Uncle Joe see you, so we can't let you go with her right now. She will still come over here and visit you. (Hopefully you can get her to agree to that).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then enlist your oldest's help.  Talk to him separately, say &quot;I need you to help watch after your brothers and sisters on this.&quot; Nine is just on the cusp of likely to understand more of what's going on - all eleven year olds nowadays totally know what a child molester is, believe me - he may or may not, but don't assume he doesn't. Answer more of his questions with more depth than the young ones. (Edit: Upon quizzing my 11 year old, she assures me that &quot;mature fourth graders, most fifth graders and all sixth graders know about that stuff.&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Observe and enforce. Your sisters might be giving you lip now, but the ramifications of getting CPS etc. up in their business because they let a pedophile visit some kids should keep them straight.  Your mom seems to be a little unclear on the concept; it's not impossible she's a little off center herself. But if you are strict, and explain &quot;you are all about Uncle Joe, so look at it this way - if he talks to our kids he's going back to jail for a parole violation, so do yourself a favor and just quit it.&quot; Don't &quot;progressively&quot; do things - that hasn't worked, you need a hard line and you need to exercise all recourses every single time the rules are violated.  Check in with the kids from time to time - more with the nine year old, but every once in a while with the rest of them.  In a happy, peaceful setting, ask &quot;hey, I just wanted to make sure you're staying safe, has anyone had any problems with Uncle Joe trying to talk to them?&quot; Don't make a big deal about it, you don't want them to start obsessing or getting night terrors over the whole thing, but do check - it also gives them an opportunity to ask more questions. &quot;Explaining&quot; isn't a one time thing with kids, it's a process, especially as they mature, cross-talk with one another, overhear things, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastEditorUserId="1750" LastEditDate="2014-04-21T23:29:20.427" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T23:29:20.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12197" CreationDate="2014-04-21T15:39:47.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, get a restraining order using the letters that covers both your own house and your mother's. These letters demonstrate risk and possibly intent, and he should be (for his own sake as well as the safety of your children) restrained from being within (say):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;500m of the children's usual residence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;500m of the children's school(s)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;500m of the location of any regularly scheduled activities of your children (e.g. swimming pool, gym etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;500m of the children's grandmother's house, unless within the boundaries of his own residence. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;500m of your children in any other location.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would aim to serve this on him before he is released, in order to prevent him living next to your mother's house. There should be established patterns of behaviour before visiting any location your children might be at (for instance, phone and confirm that your children are not visiting on the same day). Any and all breaches should be immediately reported to the police, however minor or accidental they might seem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this doesn't break privacy laws in your abode, you might talk to the owner of the cottage next to your mother about who the tenant would be on the cottage - it'd be easy for the landlord to cancel any agreement on the basis of him being an unsuitable person for tenancy given the frequent proximity of vulnerable children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7409" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:39:47.143" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3599" CreationDate="2014-04-21T15:52:29.873" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some will clean in a steam sterilizer, but an oven at 60C is often the best treatment for such things. Then drop them in a sealed bag filled with white rice for 72h.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't like chlorine bleach (e.g. Milton), Dapple and Pigeon cleansers both work well for just squeezing inside. You want to kill the mold asap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7409" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:52:29.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12140" CreationDate="2014-04-21T15:57:15.973" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure I agree with the attachment parent above. If your baby has just been fed and is sleepy, get her down in her cot straight away, swaddle her hands enough to dampen her startle reflex and stop her waking herself up all the time. You may indeed need to help her settle and let her sleep on you if it is colic or something giving her positional issues (like gut pain), but it's no reason to give up on cot-sleeping. If you fall asleep on/with your baby and roll over, it has the potential to be fatal - unlike the crying and screaming, which is &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; exhausting and upsetting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may have colic/wind, and her screaming makes her swallow air. If you're obeying all the SIDS guides, she's lying on her back and may be uncomfortable - giving her a dummy to suck while she goes off to sleep may help. Pulling any blankets tight across her and tucking firmly may also help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An iphone/android app called 'the wonder weeks' may also help you identify when growth spurts and changes in your child's brain are causing unsettled periods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember also that children don't start developing a meaningful routine until 3 months of age - at this age they should be getting around 16 hours a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you spacing feeds enough? Is your child sleeping badly because she is napping on the breast and going to sleep without feeling full enough? If so, you can express and do top-up feeds of 50ml+ 30 mins after she finishes feeding on the breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7409" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T15:57:15.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12239" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-21T18:55:26.267" Score="3" ViewCount="173" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two month old have acid reflux and is on meds, but she still spit up a lot. Is that normal? I'm breastfeeding and was told breastfed babies don't spit up as much. My three year old was breastfed as well and didn't stip up at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7416" LastActivityDate="2014-07-24T16:12:16.583" Title="Baby have acid reflux" Tags="|food|breastfeeding|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2014-07-29T10:26:53.720" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12240" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-21T20:14:04.077" Score="7" ViewCount="2673" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 26 month old has begun hitting us when he doesn't get his way. When he realizes we are upset by it, we tell him that he upset us or we give him time out, he cries and tries to hug us and kiss us and says I am sorry and I won't do again. But inevitably repeats the cycle.We also tried ignoring him when he hits. But he continues to repeat this behavior. How shoudl we address?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7421" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T03:30:21.750" Title="26 month old son keeps hitting us when he is upset." Tags="|toddler|hitting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12240" CreationDate="2014-04-21T20:21:40.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not sure if you guys have tried any sort of positive reinforcement on him? So basically you promote good behavior by rewarding him with things he usually loves to play with. For example, you give him a toy truck to play with because he's simply being a good boy. However, when he's hitting you guys, you don't acknowledge it, and you act as if it's no sweat. Next time around when he's just being himself and not hitting you, then you should &quot;reward him&quot; again by giving him with another toy or item and you make sure to state: &quot;mommy (or daddy) is giving you this because you're being such a good boy!&quot; More on positive reinforcement &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, make sure you check his environment and who is influencing him to hit. I'm not sure what you're situation is at home, but if everything is peaceful then check his day care or any sort of care provider if you're not at a stay-at-home parent. Check what tv shows he's watching as well and limit them if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7422" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T20:21:40.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12240" CreationDate="2014-04-21T20:24:56.320" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't ignore it.  Ignoring works okay for some things, but aggressive actions it doesn't tend to work well with.  26 months is old enough to understand that he's doing something wrong, and to be doing it for a reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're generally doing the right thing; correct him when it happens, give him a time out, and afterwards tell him that you still love him, but he needs to not hit.  You may need to be more consistent; the consequence should be the same every time (at least for the same level of problem).  You should make it clear that he hurt you, that you're sad - not mad or angry - and that he needs a time out to calm down so you can continue discussing whatever led to it with more calmness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 26 months, this won't work immediately.  That's okay.  Keep up the consistency, and it will change over time - probably in a few months, but it could take longer depending on the child.  Stick with one consistent approach though; don't switch back and forth, and don't have multiple different possible consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also try to figure out if there are things you can do to make him feel more comfortable with not getting his way.  Do you redirect choices, so if he has to do something, but you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; give him another choice?  For example, he has to eat dinner with the family, but he can pick which plate he gets, or his seat, or his drink?  The more he feels under control of his life, the more comfortable he will be with the times when he doesn't have control.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T20:24:56.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12239" CreationDate="2014-04-21T20:26:07.947" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your baby is too full after your breastfeeding sessions, then maybe you're just letting out too much milk (believe it or not). That can be causing reflux in the baby. You should try pumping and measuring out your feedings for a bit to see if that affects her in a positive way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7422" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T20:26:07.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12224" CreationDate="2014-04-21T21:12:44.533" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stop using timeouts, which obviously aren't working for you or your daughter, and which have &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Time-out_%28parenting%29&amp;amp;oldid=599456300#Disadvantages&quot;&gt;known disadvantages&lt;/a&gt; regardless. Instead, try alternative techniques until you find one that works for both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATED IN RESPONSE TO COMMENT:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give your kid a hug instead!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;From a child's point of view, time-out is definitely experienced as&#xA;  punishment... Children under the age of seven simply do not have the capability to&#xA;  process words in the same way that adults do. Concrete experience and&#xA;  perceptions of reality impact more strongly than language. Being&#xA;  isolated and ignored is interpreted as &quot;Nobody wants to be with me&#xA;  right now. Therefore I must be bad and unlovable,&quot; and no loving&#xA;  words, however well intended, can override this feeling of rejection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The use of time-out leads to a host of hidden problems. For one, when&#xA;  we enforce a time-out for children who are crying or raging, they get&#xA;  the message that we do not want to be around them when they are upset.&#xA;  Certain that we will not listen, they may soon stop bringing their&#xA;  problems to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Furthermore, such children may learn to suppress their feelings,&#xA;  especially if we insist on time-out in silence. Have we forgotten that&#xA;  crying and raging are healthy tension-release mechanisms that help&#xA;  relieve sadness and frustration? ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;An additional problem is that the use of time-out does not address the&#xA;  underlying cause of the &quot;inappropriate behavior.&quot; ...&#xA;  Most undesirable behavior can be explained&#xA;  by one of three factors: the child is attempting to fulfill a&#xA;  legitimate need, the child lacks information or is too young to&#xA;  understand, or the child is feeling upset (frustrated, sad, scared,&#xA;  confused, jealous, or insecure). When we try to change a behavior&#xA;  without addressing these feelings and needs, we do not help our&#xA;  children very much at all. Why? Because the underlying problem will&#xA;  still be there. Teaching children to conform to our wishes does not&#xA;  resolve the deeper issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parents have been led to believe that children will use time-out to&#xA;  think about what they did and regain some modicum of self-control. In&#xA;  reality, when children act in inappropriate, aggressive, or obnoxious&#xA;  ways, they are often harboring such strong pent-up feelings that they&#xA;  are unable to think clearly about their actions. Far more helpful than&#xA;  isolation is an attentive listener who can encourage the expression of&#xA;  honest feelings...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Holding children who hit or bite is much more effective than isolating&#xA;  them. Firm but loving holding creates safety and warmth while&#xA;  protecting other children from getting hurt. It also invites the&#xA;  expression of genuine feelings (through crying and raging) while&#xA;  reassuring the child of the indestructible parent-child bond. It is&#xA;  paradoxical, yet true: &lt;strong&gt;children are most in need of loving attention&#xA;  when they act least deserving of it&lt;/strong&gt;. Telling a violent child to sit&#xA;  quietly rarely accomplishes anything constructive and only further&#xA;  contributes to the child's pent-up anger and feelings of alienation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20130907074847/http://www.awareparenting.com/timeout.htm&quot;&gt;Aletha Solter, PhD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user606" LastEditorDisplayName="user606" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T12:29:57.507" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T12:29:57.507" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12224" CreationDate="2014-04-21T22:16:19.030" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally a timeout is due to an action or behavior the child is exhibiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Leaving the timeout is an act of disobedience, often a different misbehavior than the one that brought them into timeout.  At this time it appears you don't have a consequence for leaving the timeout.  While there may be other ways to handle the issue, one way is to define the consequence of leaving the time-out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Many parents choose to extend the timeout. &quot;You will be in time-out for at least 3 minutes.  If you get up without permission, you will be there for another three minutes.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some choose a different consequence.  &quot;Hitting your sibling results in a timeout so you can calm yourself in a place well away from the issue that causing anger.  Leaving the time-out before you are calm will result in [another consequence - sent to bed, no dessert, an additional household chore, etc]&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Others use escalation.  &quot;If you leave time-out on the stairs, you'll be sent for a longer time-out in bed.'&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be helpful for some children to have an hourglass or timer that they can see which is easy to set and reset.  Some have little concept of &quot;3 minutes&quot; and so the time may as well be forever, or for a few seconds in their mind. Being able to focus on the timer may help them stay put, knowing that it will eventually end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider the location of the timeout.  If it's in a place that provides many distractions or attractions, they may have a very hard time resisting the temptation to get up.  If you are trying to teach them something specific about sitting still even while tempted, then that may be appropriate, but if you aren't then a timeout location that is safe and has fewer distractions or attractions may help them obey your timeout rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistency is key.  Don't use timeout for things of little or no consequence, or for your personal convenience.  &quot;I'm making dinner, so go to timeout until I'm done&quot; isn't going to benefit either of you. If you use a timeout for every little thing they do wrong, what will you use when they do something that requires more significant action?  If you use it for your personal convenience, it will lose meaning as a teaching tool. Keep in mind that timeouts aren't as useful once your children pass a certain development age, so if you do use them, make them useful and effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, make sure you and your child understand the point of a timeout.  Is it a punishment? Is it meant to help them reform themselves (calm down, think through a problem, etc)? Is it to remove them from a volatile situation you know they won't be able to handle? This should be an opportunity for them to feel your love and desire for their happiness, even in their current difficulty.  Use it to teach them, and help them understand why it's important for them to manage their actions or reactions carefully. Don't use it to stop petty issues, or just to get them out of your hair.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've known some to use it as a method to control their own anger at their children's actions, giving themselves time and space to cool off prior to dealing with the child. if that's the case for you consider seeking assistance. This is a good first step, but it's only the first of many steps you may need to take to deal with your own anger issues. Again, eventually you will not be able to place them in a timeout, but if you find your anger flares very quickly you may have a very unhappy relationship with your child during their teenage years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T22:16:19.030" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12224" CreationDate="2014-04-21T22:28:45.023" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try some velcro. Some on the chair, some on the bottom of the kids diaper.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or just reprimand the child for getting up.  The purpose of timeout is punishment.  Most kids are not going to just sit there happily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7430" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T22:28:45.023" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12197" CreationDate="2014-04-21T22:44:00.573" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please forgive my posting anonymously, but I think I might be in a unique position to answer this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without going into too many gory details about my family history, my mother found out she was married to A Very Bad Man and, immediately, left him, taking my sister, her three-year-old daughter, with her. I was born later, in her second marriage, and growing up I was always aware that my sister had a different father and We Didn't Talk To Him. I didn't know why, just that he wasn't very nice, and my mother didn't want my sister or I near him. He would try to make contact now and then, send my sister birthday cards, but it wasn't until we were both a bit older that I remember my mother sitting me down to talk about what had happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, my sister must have been around fifteen and I was ten or so. My sister's aunts, whose house we visited fairly regularly, were having my sister's father around, and he wanted to see her; she wanted to see him too, and while I couldn't say exactly what my mother's feeling on it was (at a guess: no, no, God no), I believe she decided it was safer to allow a controlled visit - even one she couldn't be a part of, stuck at work - than say no and risk my sister running off to meet him alone. She decided to send us both to dinner, knowing we'd look out for each other, and that her ex-husband's sisters, who she still knew well and trusted, would always be in the room with us. But she wanted to make sure I wasn't going to blithely wander off with her ex-husband, and she decided to tell me everything a day or so before we went.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't remember exactly what she said - which might stand as proof that this won't scar your children forever - but she told me that she left her ex-husband after he'd been found in the woods with an underage girl. She told me she had worried that he would do something to my sister, then, and while my sister's aunts were good people I could trust, she didn't want me to be alone with her ex-husband in case he did anything to me. I should tell someone straight away if he did anything that made me uncomfortable, and my sister and I were to watch one another and take care of one another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She let me ask lots of questions and, believe me, I did. I can't remember quite what my mother said to me when I asked why my sister's aunts still wanted to be around their brother after what he'd done. I think it might have been along the lines of, 'Because they're still family and even though he's done bad things, they still care about him.' I remember having a hard time wrapping my head around that; I saw things quite black-and-white-ly, people were good or bad, and you didn't like the bad ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also remember being scared during that dinner. I'd never been in a situation where I couldn't trust an adult before, and as a thoroughly melodramatic child, it surprised me. I made sure to sit as far away from my mother's ex as I could, I watched him like a hawk when he talked to my sister, and when he turned to me, smiled, and asked if I wanted a glass of wine - an act which, as an adult now, I think was him awkwardly trying to endear himself as 'the cool guy' but which then set off a 'stranger danger' alarm in my head that had me shrieking no and immediately telling my sister's aunt about it - I &lt;em&gt;panicked&lt;/em&gt;. But nothing happened. I began to take cues from my sister, her aunts, their children, and while I didn't &lt;em&gt;relax&lt;/em&gt;, it certainly never became a big, traumatic experience in my life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't believe my sister nor I would have been in danger from him, but I do think my mother's decision to tell me - with far more honesty than she ever had (or, in fact, ever did after) talked to me about sex - was the right one to make. She answered my questions and while it did put me on edge for that evening, the fact she didn't act &lt;em&gt;frightened&lt;/em&gt; meant I didn't have to be frightened, or untrusting of my sister's aunts. She just told me the facts, and told me why she was telling me them; she told me she didn't think I was in danger but it was important that I knew. She told me to not get into any situation where I was alone with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that's the best way to handle things in such a horrible position as yours: be honest. Don't be afraid to talk about the details, but don't fearmonger because it will only be confusing if one trusted adult says something another trusted adult can disprove. I think sheer politeness stopped me from saying anything out-and-out to my sister's aunts, but when I burst into the kitchen and, very pointedly, cried, '&lt;em&gt;He&lt;/em&gt; tried to give me &lt;em&gt;wine&lt;/em&gt;,' I'm certain we all knew the subtext. I said I wasn't comfortable with it, and most likely mumbled something along the lines of, 'mum said, about the woods', and they 'yes well'd that, and bustled off abashedly to tell him off for offering underage children alcohol, and they didn't try to assure me he was a good guy, really. I'm quite sure if I'd said, 'My mum told me he's an abominable monster who will leap on me as soon as a grown-up's back is turned,' however, they would have jumped to his defence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're absolutely making the right decision in telling your children. I think putting trust in each of them to watch out for the other would also be a good idea, as my mother did with my sister and I. As well as adding to my highly dramatic version of events, it made me feel responsible - so I was more aware - but also looked after. My &lt;em&gt;big sister&lt;/em&gt; had been &lt;em&gt;told&lt;/em&gt; to look out for me, and she was &lt;em&gt;soooo&lt;/em&gt; going to get told off if I got kidnapped or murdered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm so sorry that you've been put in such a horrendous position, especially with your mother betraying your trust, but please believe children can understand something like this, and if you trust them with the knowledge, you'll keep them safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you all the luck in the world. I know family issues are far easier talked about than dealt with, and I can only imagine how hard this must be on you right now. It won't be an easy conversation, but the best advice I can give you is to let it be a conversation: let them ask all the questions that spring to mind, and let them know they can keep talking to you about it. Ask them to tell you if their grandmother or uncle try to talk to them when you're not there, and make sure they know they're never going to be in trouble for something their grandmother or uncle does - that you'd rather know, and not to keep any secrets. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7432" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T22:44:00.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7803" CreationDate="2014-04-21T23:02:34.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once your daughters are older, around six or seven or older, introduce them to the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan. Some of the powerful girls in the series include Annabeth Chase (a total genius, despite dyslexia), Thalia Grace (one of the most powerful demigods alive), Clarisse La rue (all the guys fear her) and many, many others. There's even a group of immortal teenage girls who swear off boys. There is some romance (in the fifth book) but all the girls can stand on their own two feet and are normally as good, if not better, than the guys at nearly everything. There's nothing rude or inappropriate about these books but they do have a lot going on (you could read these to them at a younger age though)&#xA;Also films like Disney's Brave (2012), Mulan (1998), Kung Fu Panda (2008) and St Trinians all feature strong female characters standing up and proving they are strong and independent. In future, when they are older, introduce the Hunger Games since Katniss is a strong fictional charcter.&#xA;Most strong female characters are in novels available to the teenage audience though, since younger girls are normally more interested in princesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7433" LastActivityDate="2014-04-21T23:02:34.923" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-04-21T23:02:34.923" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12254" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-21T23:48:52.383" Score="9" ViewCount="306" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in a co-parenting situation and I have the feeling our 3.5-year-old son is suffering emotionally from transferring homes too often.  He spends one night with mom, then the following night with dad, repeated almost daily, with two consecutive nights with his mom just once a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Co-parents generally switch once or twice per week. Are more frequent changes known to cause harm?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7246" LastEditorUserId="9826" LastEditDate="2014-11-08T16:55:35.187" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T16:55:35.187" Title="Custodial arrangements in co-parenting: frequency of transfers from one parent to the other" Tags="|attachment|custody|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12256" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-22T02:40:00.200" Score="3" ViewCount="5448" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10-year-old son sent a message on his iPad through a word game to a family friend that was beyond inappropriate and had cuss words in it. She told her parents, who told us. We are both upset and shocked, but disagree on what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grounded him for two weeks with no television, sent him up to his room with books only, took away the iPad forever, made him pull weeds all day, and will have him continue for the next four days with chores while he is on spring break. He also personally apologized to the girl. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband thinks he should also not get to play any more baseball for the rest of the season but I think that is too harsh. He has been caught cussing before but we just sent him to bed early or took away the iPad. His iPad, I thought, had all the messaging apps taken off it. I just don't know what to do; we are both so mad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7438" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-11T16:53:23.800" LastActivityDate="2019-05-11T16:53:23.800" Title="How to deal with cussing from our 10-year-old son?" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|profanity|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12240" CreationDate="2014-04-22T03:30:21.750" Score="4" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Normally you stop calling a kid by months once they've reached 2 years of age. Your kid is 2 years of age. Recognize that they are an infant and not a baby anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids mimic actions. Are you and the wife playing around and hitting each other? He doesn't know the difference. Is he watching shows that show hitting in them? I actually don't watch TV around my kids because of it. I wait until night when they are asleep. Once they are a little older, I'll consider it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reinforce positive behavior in specific examples. I personally got the belt as a kid, but I've been doing timeouts and they seem effective. If your kid is upset when you put them in timeout, then it sounds like it is effective. Kids take a while to learn so don't lose hope, just make them take the timeout immediately and don't endure the bad behavior until you are super stressed. Kids will test their bounds and their bounds are when you snap. If the behavior starts, immediately put them in time out. Your kid is 2 so he gets 2 minutes of timeout. I prefer to put them in a room and in a corner where they can't see me or the toys. Isolating them. I think the effect is maximized that way. I dont care how much he/she cries or whatever, dont go hug them or make up until those 2 minutes are up. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When timeout starts and ends, get down on their face level and explain, you are going to timeout because you hit mommy/daddy and that is bad behavior. The timeout is for being a bad boy. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just my .000002 cents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7439" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T03:30:21.750" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12254" CreationDate="2014-04-22T04:12:58.307" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there have been any specific studies and each situation would be different. The most important thing is that he is spending time with both of you. The next important thing is routine, if you can have some consistency between both the homes it would make it easier on him. Things such as meal times, bed times and favourite toys. &#xA;Travel time would be an issue if it is too long. If any of these things becomes an issue you can look at less frequent changovers. We used to talk to our kids on the phone every night for years, to ensure we maintained a connection. This also made the parents less anxious about being away from them for so long. We started out quite frequent with changeovers and eventually got it to once a week over a number of years. My kids turned out great.&#xA;I wish you all the best for the future, good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7441" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T04:12:58.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12256" CreationDate="2014-04-22T04:46:30.337" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;You haven't described the exact nature of your son's message, but it seems to me that the multiple punishments you have given him will certainly have transmitted YOUR message by now regarding the attitude of you and your husband to his action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point I'd suggest that you both start to switch your focus from how to punish him further to finding out what motivated his message in the first place. At the age of 10, I assume that by now he has the capacity to explain his feelings and motivations reasonably coherently. If you can get to the bottom of the &lt;em&gt;reason&lt;/em&gt; for his behaviour, you will be in a much better position to anticipate the possibility of any repetitions, and to devise strategies for helping him to deal with any frustrations or other issues in a more constructive manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, I recommend that you and your husband should first actively try to calm yourselves down from your state of heightened emotion. If you are still visibly displaying anger towards your son, any attempts on your part to open two-way communication with him so that you can gather some information about why he behaved as he did will very likely fail, because he won't want to expose himself to the possibility of further punishment and/or other recriminations. There must come a point at which you and your son have to be ready to let go of your negative feelings towards each other to enable the life of your household to return to normal, and your son probably won't be able to do that until you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also find the answer from &lt;strong&gt;balanced mama&lt;/strong&gt; to this question useful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/10729/does-a-child-need-to-apologize-and-how-should-i-react-while-it-does-not?rq=1&quot;&gt;Does a child need to apologize and how should I react while it does not?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7324" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T16:26:18.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12162" CreationDate="2014-04-22T07:32:05.733" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is perfectly normal even if your kid isn't interested in playing with toys. Bouncing on sofas is something I can relate to since my son (who is now 7 years old) does it on a daily (or sometimes even hourly) basis still! What I would suggest is that you should try and engage him elsewhere. Something I used to keep my son occupied when he was around 5 years old, was on educational websites geared towards children.  They aren't those typical online gaming sites that would eventually turn your kid into one of those gaming aficionados or those kids who get addicted to gaming but they are basically educational games with a tilt towards a bit of entertainment which would be a great way to instil a love of exploration and discovery in the kids (as they say).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7442" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T12:13:56.070" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T12:13:56.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12261" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12286" CreationDate="2014-04-22T08:42:57.073" Score="48" ViewCount="81482" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder.  I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We have always had a very close and affectionate relationship as she was a very good natured little girl growing up. We have done everything together, gone on many road trips together, done many adventures as just the two of us.  I remain to be called &quot;Daddy&quot; rather than &quot;Dad&quot; as she adores me as I do her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently though we have had troubles due to my loss of job last year and our possible eviction.  This has led to many behaviors such as lying, stealing, making up stories, acting out of control, purposely going against my rules, breaking things on purpose, among other issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I've noticed lately as in the past 2 months is that she will go as far as to do everything in her power to push my buttons and get me really angry/upset with her.  And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me.  I am not sure if anyone has ever has ever been laughed at when you are already furious, but let me tell you it just makes you even more angry.  I've never been violent or hell I've never even been in a physical fight my entire life and I sure as hell haven't hit my kid or anyone for that matter.  But when you are at your most angry and someone just starts laughing at you, it really invokes a lot of restraint on anyone's part. I can't think of a worse thing to do to someone who is angry at you than to laugh at them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I have done out of my way of dealing with it is call her a name or something and then go to my bedroom to calm down.  I later regret the name calling and she regrets the laughing bit and I apologize to her and I get the same from her.  I am pretty sure if this same thing happened with a friend that they would physically attack her for doing such a thing, male or female.  As far as I know she only has done this with me so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter.  She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help it.  To me I can hear her, but I don't understand how someone can find humor in seeing you angry/upset with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else experienced this?  And if so, how did you deal with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7380" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T11:59:39.460" LastActivityDate="2023-09-29T18:37:42.453" Title="Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?" Tags="|behavior|teen|pre-teen|single-parent|autism|" AnswerCount="26" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12262" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-22T08:44:24.150" Score="7" ViewCount="460" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 8 year old daughter has always been a picky eater - even as a baby we had a hard time convincing her to try different baby foods. We assumed she'd grow out of it, but it hasn't happened and it's becoming an increasing problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess we should be thankful that the range of foods she's willing to eat does include some healthy options like carrot and cucumber, so we're not as badly off as some. But her favourite things are pasta tossed in pesto, noodles tossed in soy sauce and various kinds of junk. Given the choice, she'd eat nothing else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're vegetarian so we're already limited - in fact we've got so desparate for her to broaden her range of foods that we've tried to get her to eat fish, but she refuses. Her mum &amp;amp; I both feel it's important to eat a meal together as a family, but at the same time we're not keen on cooking multiple different dishes for everyone. So we alternate between her pickyness being allowed to dictate the families' menu to a narrow and boring range of dishes, or serving things she dislikes which she will eat while making gagging faces and trying every trick in the book to get away from the table early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things she particularly dislikes which are particularly problematic include potato and melted cheese. This means eating out with friends is a nightmare, since other parents and establishments typically serve things popular with children like chips/fries and pizza. So she ends up not eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried being nice about it and encouraging her to try new things. We've tried being nasty about it and making her eat things she doesn't like. We've tried carrot and stick by suggesting she could eat with her friends more often if she was happy eating different things. We've tried involving her more in menu planning and food preparation, both of which she greeted with boundless enthusiasm and then refused to eat anything unfamliar, even if she'd helped plan or make it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we've made/encouraged her to repeatedly try things she doesn't like, she has had repeated exposure (yes, more than the magic 10-15 times) to a lot of the things she rejects, to no avail. Is there anything else we can try? Anything with a proven track record?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7444" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T12:17:55.143" Title="Established methods to help fussy/picky eaters at late primary age" Tags="|primary-schooler|food|eating|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12262" CreationDate="2014-04-22T09:03:25.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that to a quite high extent, food pickiness is a natural thing. I speak from my own experience, I haven't grown up from some of my food pickiness ever. Yet I'm a happy adult, healthy and stuff, and certainly I'm more unhappy of the memories of people convincing me hardly to eat non-cooked onions, than from missing such food in my childhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore I don't see why rejecting of some food is a thing that has to be suppressed. Sure you should try to convince the child, but certainly you should not force her to eat something they don't like, or punish them for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I find appropriate is offering them an unappealing yet completely ok alternative. At my family, bread and butter (I say butter, not margarine) worked well, butter is a high quality fat, giving the child enough energy to fulfill its dietary needs, certainly if it's not for every meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering her not eating things she's offered at friends', I think that the same applies: You can surely ask your friends if they have some &quot;poor/simple&quot; alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention going out: I see that this can be a bigger problem. However, somehow I feel that at the age of 8, it should be her problem, not yours. I mean, she should be able to take the responsibility for herself and find a way out of the situation. As for Brownies going to McD, I'm not sure &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; 8yo should ever eat there, but that's another story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4048" LastEditorUserId="4048" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T20:02:57.043" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T20:02:57.043" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-22T12:04:27.187" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stephen King wrote a description about this once. &quot;You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed.&quot;  I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum.  And unfortunately the only thing I know of to &quot;fix&quot; it is maturation, and learning how to suppress the giggles and smiles when they're not appropriate.  Maybe talking to her doctors about this response will help you understand that she is serious when she says it's not that it's FUNNY that you're angry, and that she can't really control the behavior. (I'd add links to autism forums that I've participated in for reference but those are (a) anecdotal and (b) usually kind of private.) King Laugh gets what he wants every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For you, I think you're doing what you can.  Yes, it is EXTRAORDINARILY enraging when you're already angry and someone laughs in your face, because it feels like your anger isn't acknowledged or respected (&quot;respected&quot; isn't quite the word I'm going for, but it will do). And when you get to that level, you remove yourself from the situation, which is absolutely what I would recommend and is sometimes the only thing that helps.  If you can, watch her eyes when she laughs in situations like this.  You'll most likely learn to tell a laugh based on genuine humor from one generated by stress.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T12:04:27.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-22T13:32:45.090" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. This is an invitation to empathy. It may not work immediately. Keep trying. If she does not respond emotionally, she may at least learn to respond cognitively. It may spark a new dialog resulting in mutual laughter, as the other responder suggested. If it happens to work out that way instead, at least you two will have found a mutually acceptable mechanism to work through these situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7453" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T13:32:45.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2014-04-22T13:43:37.497" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children's self esteem/worth is built not on empty praise but on accomplishments, and accomplishments don't always happen at random, they are the combination of expectation and opportunity. It is your job as a parent to place those expectations and provide the opportunities, as well as encouragement when the inevitable failures occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is past the age that building a snow fort or solving a jigsaw puzzle provides challenge and satisfaction. Your challenge is to find a variety of activities, mundane to spectacular, that will challenge and build your teen's abilities, self-sufficiency and self-worth. Mundane challenges might include doing all her laundry or cooking the family one 3-course meal per week. Spectacular challenges might be learning to play a favorite instrument (not one assigned by the school band), horseback riding, or whatever thrills her. Of course the latter can be used as rewards for the former, but avoid using mere experiences (going to the movies, beach, etc.) as rewards, because while fun and occasionally necessary, they don't actually provide any sense of accomplishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7453" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T13:43:37.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7427" CreationDate="2014-04-22T13:49:00.370" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being multilingual myself, I feel discomfort at speaking to someone in a language I know doesn't &quot;fit&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my dad is Italian, but my brother and I were born and lived in Argentina. We always spoke Spanish at home, but always Italian with my grandparents (his parents). We effectively learned Italian that way. In my adolescence, my dad started sometimes speaking Italian to us, maybe because he wanted to, maybe because he wanted us not to lose the proficiency, I don't know. Anyway, I almost always responded in Spanish, or felt distinctly uncomfortable responding in Italian to him. On the other hand, talking in Italian to my grandparents always felt natural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So maybe it's a question of time and patience. I'd say that the best tests would be a trip to Denmark, or watching a Danish film/performance with them: do they understand and respond in Danish? What I can assure you is that sooner or later they will be very thankful for what you are doing, if anything because learning further languages is easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7159" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T13:49:00.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12239" CreationDate="2014-04-22T14:18:02.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;None of my kids had reflux, but there were definitely differences in how &quot;urpy&quot; each one was -- since your daughter &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; have reflux, she will spit up more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/baby-spitting-up-is-it-reflux&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;useful suggestions in this article&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/healthy-baby/art-20044329&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;from the Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;. I'd personally suggest that upright positioning during and after feedings and less milk per nursing session may be useful steps to try. My &quot;spit uppy&quot; child tended to keep feedings down better when I had him tied to me in a sling. So, changes like these may help reduce how much milk she's losing when she spits up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, since she does have reflux, you may reach a limit of how much spit up you can prevent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T14:18:02.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-22T14:55:02.850" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help it. To me I can hear her, but I don't understand how someone can find humor in seeing you angry/upset with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She cannot control it the same way that you cannot control the extreme angry/upset feeling inside your body. Based on your description of what's going on, I don't think she is &quot;finding humor&quot; in your anger. I think she is feeling a lot of big feelings in response to your big feelings. It's just that her emotional response is wired differently from yours. I understand that it can feel invalidating when you are upset and she is laughing, but her laughter response indicates to me that she understands that you are upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7456" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T14:55:02.850" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12256" CreationDate="2014-04-22T15:26:23.410" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This behavior is called &quot;cyberbullying&quot; and has become very common with kids as soon as messaging begins (usually around the 4th grade) and has become a very big topic in schools. Boys tend to cyberbully by sexting and girls tend to do more gossip and exclusion. It's taken seriously; I know one high school girl who is having to do high school from home because she was involved in cyberbullying another girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've definitely done an appropriate amount of punishing, but now it's time to step back, relax, and try to educate him going forward. Kids are going to do bad things, and especially starting now, they will be looking to push boundaries. Cracking down is of limited value, you need to be proactive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an except from &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.helpguide.org/mental/cyber-bullying.htm#bully&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;If Your Child Is a Cyberbully&lt;/a&gt;&quot; with some next steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Educate your child about cyberbullying.&lt;/strong&gt; Your child may not understand how hurtful and damaging their behavior can be. Foster empathy and awareness by encouraging your child to look at their actions from the victim’s perspective. Remind your child that cyberbullying can have very serious legal consequences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Manage stress.&lt;/strong&gt; Teach your child positive ways to manage stress. Your child’s cyberbullying may be an attempt at relieving stress. Or your own stress, anxiety, or worry may be creating an unstable home environment. Exercise, spending time in nature, or playing with a pet are great ways for both kids and adults to let off steam and relieve stress.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Set limits with technology.&lt;/strong&gt; Let your child know you’ll be monitoring his or her use of computers, tablets, smartphones, email, and text messaging. If necessary, remove access to technology until behavior improves.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Establish consistent rules of behavior.&lt;/strong&gt; Make sure your child understands your rules and the punishment for breaking them. Children may not think they need discipline, but a lack of boundaries sends a signal that the child is unworthy of the parents’ time, care, and attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be seminars at school or resources your school counselor has on this topic (I know they do here in Texas, and I attended a cyberbullying seminar at a local elementary school). Most of the information is usually more tuned to how to detect if your child is cyberbullied and prevention from the victim's angle, but there's definitely some information from that point of view (it's not actually much different from traditional bullying, it's just using a new venue technology has made possible, so older works on preventing bullying in your child will apply just as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T15:26:23.410" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-22T16:11:35.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Her response is re-enforced by the outcome that generally follows when you are in this state. With a child still in the heavier parts of the developmental stage, they should only see you in this state when consequences are to follow. Otherwise, they have no &quot;potential&quot; outcome to associate your behaviour with, and will only see you as acting &quot;odd/funny&quot;; Try and conceal your frustration during times that they wont be able to fully comprehend the reason and consequences(ie. employment issues), and be sure to fully enact your frustration(appropriately for a child) during the times that they will understand the reason and consequences.  Use your words, and follow through with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: do not let her push your buttons with complete liberty, this will re-enforce the problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7458" LastEditorUserId="7458" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T16:16:57.263" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T16:16:57.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-22T16:24:37.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like what you need is a time-out when this happens.  If you're angry and she's laughing, just get in the habit of saying &quot;Okay, we need a break; let's talk about this again in ten minutes when we've had time to cool down.&quot;  Have a conversation about this with her, and tell her that she should do the same (suggest a cool off period).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking when you're both angry doesn't help anyone, and in particular it's very hard to back off of your position and compromise if you're angry.  Since you know that particular trigger (laughing) makes things worse, it's a good signal that the particular conversation you're having needs to cool off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(This also doubles as relationship advice - it's what my wife and I try to do when we're angry to the point of verbally hurting each other, and it usually works pretty well for us since we both realize we don't want to be doing that.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T16:24:37.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2014-04-22T16:35:08.720" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You should take it to your parents and explain the situation to them immediately.&lt;/strong&gt; The only exception is if your parents are particularly unhinged and are going to beat her or throw her out on the street or something for the offense; in that case talk to someone else responsible and trustworthy who can intervene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is a minor, living in your parents' house, and engaging in illegal and possibly dangerous activity (blah blah blah about the merits/risks of any specific drug notwithstanding). It is a risk to her, to your parents, your parents' property, and you. (And possibly others, if she's driving, babysitting, etc. under the influence.) It's not your place to decide what to do, it's your parent's place, as it's their house and they're her guardian. She could get busted, you could get busted, your parents could get busted and/or in CPS trouble. You don't have the right to let that happen by collusion/negligence because she might get mad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, this is my eleven year old's answer too.  &quot;Take away the drugs and tell your parents. Duh, everyone knows that.&quot; Oddly no one's actually given this simple answer to this question yet, so I'm adding it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T16:35:08.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12262" CreationDate="2014-04-22T19:01:37.677" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could it be a sensory processing issue?  You've tried every single thing I've ever heard of for picky eaters (former picky eater here and mother to one that refuses to eat anything not processed within an inch of its life) and you're not seeing any results. Maybe it's time to bring in an occupational therapist that specializes in pediatric issues; they're usually trained in detecting sensory issues and can help you resolve them as a family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;FYI, my picky eater is an emetophobe; we've done hypnosis and it helped a bit but it's definitely an uphill battle.  I wouldn't have thought to ask about that if I weren't a former emetophobe myself.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T19:01:37.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12278" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-22T20:19:19.730" Score="1" ViewCount="13227" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is going to be 3 this June. Since he's 2, he goes to a local nursery and kindergarten school. He has picked up a few skills that are necessary at his age. He can now recite the alphabet and speak in two languages (English and my native language).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His teacher at the school remarked that he has got a better than average power of narration. He's able to tell a story or narrate an event. This is our first kid and his teacher thinks that this is a rare quality in kids that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My spouse has some experience of dealing with kids in kindergarten and elementary (ages 5 - 7). She thinks sending him to a Montessori based school will advance his development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school fees at the Montessori school are almost twice as much as at the local school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this generally true as rule of the thumb? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6155" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T21:19:16.787" Title="Is it worth sending a kid to a Montessori school?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12278" CreationDate="2014-04-22T21:27:59.310" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, I say go for it, send your kid to Montessori school. Most schooling stifle's a child's natural curiosity for learning, whereas Montessori school will help your child find their &quot;niche&quot; more easily, i.e. do they like to do things with their hands, such as Julia Child (who is a product of Montessori education).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The long-term benefits outweigh any costs right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My aunt sent her kids to Montessori school and it has helped them tremendously (they were fortunate enough to live in an area with exceptional public schools, otherwise she would have continued)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope I can send my kids to Montessori school&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Some benefits I've seen, I expect to see&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;kids are more mature and articulate for their age, easier time communicating with adults, authority&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;kids realize the inner genius in all of them. A kid who may be labeled as &quot;slow&quot; by a public school system will discover his or her aptitudes (lets say Fractions) in Montessori school, and will gain even more self-confidence by helping other kids in this area, i.e. Fractions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;kids learn to think out of the box. They are given problems to solve and unique ways to solve them. Because of this type of thinking, they are more likely to innovate, such as Google and Amazon founders&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the focus is on the joy of learning, so kids have less time for bullying each other&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6914" LastEditorUserId="6914" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T23:35:06.093" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T23:35:06.093" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12262" CreationDate="2014-04-22T21:41:38.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing you might consider is giving her some choice, in two ways.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, allowing her to choose 'leftovers' to the current meal.  If yesterday's dinner made a few servings of leftovers, allow her to choose from the available leftovers if she doesn't like what you made, after trying the current dish.  This means it's not any extra work for you (I don't know if she's able to use a microwave yet, but at minimum this isn't &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; extra work) and she still is happy.  This doesn't broaden her palate any, but it's an alternative that lets you keep trying things without her going hungry and/or resenting you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, consider allowing her to prepare her own meals some of the time.  8 isn't too young to cook, at least simple foods - spaghetti, mac&amp;amp;cheese, that sort of thing.  This is more powerful than simple menu selection, because she can get to know the flavor components and adjust them - say, add spices to her spaghetti sauce, or change which oil she uses to make the mac&amp;amp;cheese, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these let her direct the eating process, and perhaps may gain some buy-in towards eventually improving things.  I think I'd be worried that dealing aggressively with the pickiness might make her feel generally negative about eating and meals in general, more so than risks of getting bored.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T21:41:38.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-22T21:43:42.703" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a parent so this isn't a complete answer, just a perspective from dealing with people.  In any interaction between two mammals, one is reactive and the other has the power.  If you want to win an argument, make the other person lose their mind with anger.  It doesn't even have to be an anger reaction.  Social power falls to the person the least affected by (reacting towards) social tension.  The person who breaks eye contact first, or blurts something out to fill a pregnant pause, loses.  This should typically give an emotionally mature adult a leg up when dealing with children, however an empathetic impairment can also be an advantage for someone less pulled by the emotional strings of an interaction (which is why in adult society power gravitates to sociopaths).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a child who has no problems interpreting emotions, sometimes the mere display of anger itself is a sufficient discipline.  This is an evolutionarily intuitive feedback loop: child breaks social norms they need to learn, this genuinely frustrates parent, child sees parent's frustration and feels discomfort, that discomfort creates a negative association to the behavior for the child who then exhibits the behavior less often.  This is all unconscious, apes and dogs do it as well as people.  But it's not perfect, and this is why terrible twos are difficult to deal with when toddlers pick up saying &quot;no&quot; as a hobby and watching their parents blow steam out of their ears.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anger is a form of engaged attention.  If she is acting out on purpose, it's not a stretch to imagine she is feeling some satisfaction to see you reacting and getting angry.  You might want to ask yourself if for some reason she is needing more attention than usual, or if you are giving her less attention than usual and she is trying to cope.  Either way you have to acknowledge that the display of anger is not working as a disciplinary tool in this context and find another way to handle the situation.  Any emotional reaction reinforces behavior, and the lack of a reaction makes a behavior boring and pointless.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe try to pre-empt the acting-out by giving her enough positive attention beforehand, and then deadface ignore her attempts to make you reactive.  If something needs a response, like stealing an item, just take it back and say &quot;we don't steal&quot;, with no emotion, and walk away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: I personally also tend to laugh when people cry in movies, because honestly emotional people make really comical faces, if you aren't empathizing with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7467" LastEditorUserId="7467" LastEditDate="2014-04-22T21:54:03.833" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T21:54:03.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-22T23:43:29.257" Score="77" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, scared or humiliated. The Three Stooges, right? America's Funniest Home Videos? Laughter is an 'alternate response' to a situation that ordinarily would trigger fear, anger or dismay. Many autistics regard the neurotypical conception of 'humor' as strong evidence that neurotypicals lack empathy: else why do you laugh when you see bad things happen to other people? But it's not lack of empathy really; it's an interrupted defense mechanism. The same is true of your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eleven is a turbulent age for all girls, but for autistic girls, it's frequently a time when all hell breaks loose due to all the weird sensory issues that go with hormonal changes, plus all the even weirder social issues that go with &lt;em&gt;sex&lt;/em&gt; becoming a 'thing' for the very first time ever. It's probably going to be difficult for you to cope emotionally with the fact that to your daughter, you're no longer just her Daddy - you're also a &lt;em&gt;man&lt;/em&gt; now; in fact you're &lt;em&gt;the&lt;/em&gt; Man, and her natural biological response to that fact is probably confusing and alarming her no end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me put it plainly: when your daughter starts laughing like that, you need to   &lt;em&gt;stand down&lt;/em&gt;, because what it means is you have overloaded her. Contrary to the opinions of a lot of ignorant people, autistic people generally have &lt;em&gt;heightened&lt;/em&gt; empathy, and have difficulty coping with the emotional battering of high-intensity neurotypical emotional displays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7472" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-20T23:12:18.257" LastActivityDate="2018-03-20T23:12:18.257" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12278" CreationDate="2014-04-22T23:48:50.843" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience with Montessori schools is all second hand. I have one friend whose kid was not doing well in a traditional school but thrived in a Montessori school. I know another person who started their kid in a Montessori and it just did not work out so transferred to a traditional school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Montessori schools are not better, just different. I know a teacher who worked at another alternative style school; from my conversations with her many kids would not work well in her school but the kids who go there could only thrive in a school like hers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It comes down to the individual child and what they need. We considered Montessori schools for our two kids (we have one local) but felt it was not in-line with their needs and personalities. Both thrive in a more structured environment (but for different reasons).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have time so keep your options open, keep an open mind and do some more research. Most schools have open days, go and check one out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-04-22T23:48:50.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-23T00:05:08.627" Score="13" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), subjected to vocal outbursts, or was being accused of actions which I never took.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But when you are at your most angry and someone just starts laughing at you, it really invokes a lot of restraint on anyone's part. I can't think of a worse thing to do to someone who is angry at you than to laugh at them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, the best action to take is to do your best to control your anger, realize that she doesn't actually mean to laugh at you, and help her understand that her reactions and provocations are &lt;strong&gt;not permissible&lt;/strong&gt;. I must reiterate that, at least in my case, the response is &lt;em&gt;involuntary&lt;/em&gt;, and I literally can't help it when it happens. However, with time and guidance, she will probably grow out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that this may not make a lot of sense. Why would someone laugh when they're being subjected to physical pain or being yelled at? I can affirm that it's a &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; strange sensation, almost as if the brain's response to pain and the brain's response to humor are linked together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7473" LastEditorUserId="7473" LastEditDate="2014-04-23T00:27:29.017" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T00:27:29.017" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12287" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12291" CreationDate="2014-04-23T00:20:11.187" Score="1" ViewCount="8597" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you know, modern hot water systems allow you to set the maximum temperature of hot water coming out, either by using less gas/electricity or by mixing the hot water with cold water to the set temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have baby (our first) arriving in 2 weeks and we probably should revise our hot water setting down from 50°C (which my husband likes to leave it at for doing dishes of all things!) All the books and anecdotal baby advice recommend utilising the temperature setting on the hot water system to avoid children, especially babies, accidentally being burned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read conflicting advice for the right, kid-safe temperature. At the low end, one book suggests 38°C, which is basically just body temperature. At the other end, my husband and I like to shower at around 44°C (which we do by turning on a cold tap and manually mixing which is probably stupid). Apparently it takes a couple of minutes for a kid to get badly burnt at 50°C but just a couple seconds for third degree burns at 60°C so some kind of tradeoff might be in order below 50°C. Would 44°C be safe? What would you set it at?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answers in °C preferred.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1637" LastActivityDate="2014-04-28T15:08:15.423" Title="What is a safe but useful temperature to set your hot water at?" Tags="|safety|water|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12278" CreationDate="2014-04-23T00:25:09.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For both questions about fees and quality, the answer is &quot;It depends...&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The better non-Montessori schools can reasonably be expected to surpass lower quality Montessori schools. Also, parents and home cultures might better complement one style or the other. It's very difficult for someone who is remote to give any certain answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A well run Montessori school will generally give better results than &quot;traditional&quot; daycare or preschool. Of course, only you will know if the results are what you want. Fees will tend to be higher because it costs more to receive Montessori credentials and to maintain their standards, much like any other profession. (I funded my daughter's attendance for a year at the Montessori International Academy in London a few years ago while earning her education degree.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll need to interview prospective schools to determine if any given school meets your needs and wants. If possible, meet other parents to gain a secondary perspective. On-line resources might give opportunities to check reviews, but it depends on how things go in your region.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7361" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T00:25:09.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-23T00:51:40.550" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;(Sorry if this is posting as two comments; having trouble with the commenting format.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where you say &lt;i&gt;&quot;we have had troubles due to my loss of job last year and our possible eviction. This has led to many behaviors such as lying, stealing...&quot;&lt;/i&gt; - this begs the question of why the child's behavior is being attributed to your adult problems. Is it not more likely that the loss of your job and possible eviction has led to 'behaviors' on your part, to which her behaviors are a reaction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps she is not trying to push your buttons. Perhaps your 'buttons' are impossible to avoid bumping into right now. Men who've lost their jobs are extremely difficult to live with, as most wives can attest, and your daughter is the only woman in your house. It's unfortunate that her puberty and your unemployment are happening at the same time; that would make it rocky for any family. But it's really not okay to &quot;get furious&quot; at your daughter like that. What sort of treatment are you teaching her to expect from men? Consider that her sensory processing may translate your 'raising your voice' into something more like the roar of a grizzly bear about to charge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The three books I recommend over and over to parents are Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn, Strong-Willed Child Or Dreamer? by  Dana Spears and Ron Braund, and Parents, Please Don't Sit On Your Kids by Clare Cherry. Lots of excellent techniques there for dealing with problems without resorting to coercion. The way to teach self-control and courtesy is to model them, even under fire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;em&gt;wry grin&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/i&gt; Think 11 is fun; just wait till 14. Hang in there; they do grow out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7472" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T00:51:40.550" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12290" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-23T01:09:57.413" Score="2" ViewCount="602" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 2.5 months old baby. Recently We have noticed unusual crying behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually after his feeding, we usually make him burp once and then he sleeps or usually will be silent in the flat lying position on his back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But since from one week he is behaving strangely. The following are the changes we have noticed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After feeding he is crying a lot unto 30 mins. He pacifies only when we start burping by giving soft kicks at back. In the flat lying position he is crying loudly. Only he feels comfortable upright or slant position. He feels comfortable and sleeps only after 3 or more burps. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the upright position he bents back suddenly. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is having mucus stools.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't understand is this problem or is this common behavior. If it is problem what is the root cause for it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T13:20:52.110" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T16:17:42.047" Title="Unusual crying behavior" Tags="|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12287" CreationDate="2014-04-23T02:12:07.147" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;48-50C (118-120F) should be fine as a max temperature, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_tips-for-safe-bathing_40.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;according to Baby Center&lt;/a&gt;. As a rule, you should always test the water on a sensitive part of your body, such as the inside of your wrist or elbow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The linked article mentions that babies generally like it cooler, but your experience may vary. My son actually preferred it warmer (to clarify - not &quot;hot&quot; per se, but a warmer temperature than what we expected at first) even when he was a young infant (he's almost 4, now, and his bath is the same temperature setting as our shower). So, also use your baby as a guide - if s/he shows signs of being cold, make the bath warmer, if s/he seems to feel like it's too hot, cool it down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastEditorUserId="1155" LastEditDate="2014-04-28T15:07:36.447" LastActivityDate="2014-04-28T15:07:36.447" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12290" CreationDate="2014-04-23T02:32:09.363" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds like it might be a food intolerance or allergy. Does Mom consume:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dairy, especially cow's milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wheat or other gluten-containing grains&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eggs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Soy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Corn&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Peanuts or tree nuts&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most common food allergen in breastfed infants is cow's milk, so if Mom's drinking it, then try eliminating it, first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If just cutting out milk doesn't work, you may want to start &quot;backwards,&quot; by cutting out the known &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/health/baby-health/food-sensitivity/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;allergens for 2-3 weeks&lt;/a&gt;, then adding them back in, one by one, one a week. That way, you can get to a base point, back to where your baby is happy and not in discomfort, then figure out what causes the reaction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Obligatory disclaimer:&lt;/em&gt; I'm not a doctor. By all means, consult your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T02:32:09.363" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7803" CreationDate="2014-04-23T02:37:35.797" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Picture books: Amazing Grace - Miss Rumphius - Outside Over There - &quot;Pish Posh&quot;, Said Heironymus Bosch - The Enchanter's Daughter - The Pirate Queen - Trouble With Trolls - Young Guinevere &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chapter books: Gwinna - The Borrowers - The Secret Garden - Caddie Woodlawn - Julie of the Wolves - The 'Little House' books - The Chronicles of Prydain - The Tombs of Atuan - The Changeling - Self-Portrait With Wings&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Movies: The Secret of Roan Inish - The Three Lives of Thomasina - Fern Gully - The Secret Garden (1993) - Tangled - Brave - Frozen - Spirited Away - Howl's Moving Castle - The Secret World of Arrietty - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7472" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T02:37:35.797" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-04-23T02:37:35.797" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12290" CreationDate="2014-04-23T03:21:28.477" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, make sure you talk to the pediatrician.  This is a medical issue and not something we can really diagnose over the internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you being careful to make sure the baby is feeding on foremilk and hindmilk evenly?  A baby eating too much foremilk can have mucousy stools and colic symptoms.  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/foremilk.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; for more details.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hindmilk/foremilk imbalance is caused by the baby having too much of the lower fat foremilk.  Foremilk has a higher lactose content as opposed to hindmilk (which is higher in fat).  The baby eats more of it faster, and ends up eating too much lactose for his/her immature digestive system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To avoid having a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, you should make sure the baby eats all of the milk from one breast (until it feels empty), and try to avoid letting the baby snack too much (where she/he eats only a little at a time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T03:21:28.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-23T08:23:03.997" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a parent, I'm just a 26 year old guy. And I only wanted to assure you that your daughter is not making fun of you, or disrespecting you as you seem to be thinking. I have the same problem too. For a long time I used to think there was something wrong with me, until I found out recently that other people (although rare) experience the same thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is difficult sometimes to maintain a serious argument in my case. I remember the last time I did this was about 6 months ago, I was debating with a war veteran based on political issues. We have very different opinions about our Government. She called the government a dictator, and I begged to differ. After some time she started to get emotional as anyone would in her situation (as had spent almost 30 years of her life working for the Gov), and had witnesses so many atrocities, and was eventually exiled from the country along with her entire family. For her, anyone taking the side of the government is a persona attack. So as she became furious, and couldn't control her emotions I was the only one in the entire room who started to laugh and smile uncontrollably. Although she was wrong about some fact, I respected the woman and her opinions. There was nothing anyone would find laughable in that situation or about what she said, but I did it anyway, and could not contain it. She got pissed of and gave me a serious warning, by saying something like &quot;don't laugh, you are boiling my blood&quot;. Thankfully, I stopped the argument right there, because it was impossible to stop myself from laughing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people know I do that. But I can't explain it to them, because no one would understand this phenomenon.  I never even understood it before a year ago. I have no a autism or any thing similar. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Possible explanation&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am convinced though, beyond any reasonable doubt ... I tend to laugh when the person with whom I am arguing seems to be debating based on the grounds of irrationality and there is no way to convince them .So, the only way I could make sense of it is by laughing. It is sort of amusement laugh. I almost never laugh, when the person is 100% right about something. I'm probably sure that your daughter is very smart, and due to the fact that you lost your job you are taking your anger on her without realizing it. She must have realized this odd behavioral pattern (which you never had in your good times) and is dealing with it with amusement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe spanking your kid is a not a horrible thing, as these crazy hyper sensitive, liberal society wants you to believe. But don't spank her for laughing at you, but please don't hesitate to do for some serious things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7481" LastEditorUserId="7481" LastEditDate="2014-04-23T08:39:23.230" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T08:39:23.230" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12287" CreationDate="2014-04-23T08:29:55.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;US CDC recommends 120F, which is 48.8 C &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/safechild/Burns/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/safechild/Burns/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hotter temperatures are not much use for killing bacteria.  Bacteria are dealt with by mechanical action or bactericides, not hot water.  Warmer water might help with removal of dirt.  Don't forget that hot water (and soap) can damage skin and that's likely to cause conditions where germs can lurk.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/show-me-the-science-handwashing.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/show-me-the-science-handwashing.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find that setting the thermostat lower allows you to run a shower at a safe temperature even with no cold water mix. Your husband can boil a kettle to wash the dishes; or could run the hot tap slower which will tend to raise the temperature of the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T08:29:55.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12299" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12303" CreationDate="2014-04-23T11:26:50.637" Score="82" ViewCount="40780" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have several friends who have two or more children, while myself and my wife only have one. Often when we visit them, it seems that the conversation always turns to, &quot;When are you having your second?&quot;, and when we suggest that we only want one, we are often met with incredulous reactions, often followed with statements like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shame! Poor child, he'll be all alone when you two are gone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shame, he won't have someone to talk to about issues at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's much easier to have two or more, they can play with each other.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He'll develop much better by learning close bonds only siblings can give.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Isn't that a bit selfish, you should think about your son, he'll be better off with a brother/sister.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our reasons for just wanting one are primarily economic ones, but we also think we can give our son a much better environment in terms of attention and support. Truth be told, we find demands of everyday life and the demands of parenting just one child to be quite demanding already, so we think having a second may impact all our lives negatively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There really does seem to be intense pressure to have a second child, and after such conversations, I do often feel guilty that we are happy with just our son, and that maybe we are being selfish. I've read a bit online about the subject, and there seems to be quite a lot of arguments to suggest having one or more siblings matters/doesn't matter, but I'm wondering what real, concrete evidence there is one way or the other? Is a child really better off with a sibling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7452" LastEditorUserId="7452" LastEditDate="2014-04-23T12:51:35.130" LastActivityDate="2018-03-18T22:43:22.417" Title="Is having a sibling better for a child?" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="20" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-23T12:12:05.867" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't say it is better, just different. A single child can have exactly the same attitude as a child with siblings, its how they are brought up that matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are arguments on both sides of the coin, it is nice for children to have siblings, but then it can put more of strain on finances and space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just as a side note, I have three children and it actually seemed easier the second and third time round so i wouldn't worry about the extra stress and work, its up to you if you want more children and you shouldn't feel pressured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7488" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T12:12:05.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-23T12:12:25.070" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Frankly, if you have economic reasons for only having one - ie, you're concerned two will be too much of a burden financially - then one sounds like a good plan to me.  Kids are really, &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; expensive.  Regardless of the evidence that may or may not exist on the matter, in your &lt;em&gt;personal&lt;/em&gt; situation it seems like one child with a happy stable family will be happier than two in a family struggling to manage financially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I don't think there can really be concrete evidence of one or the other, because every situation is so different.  Some children are undoubtedly happier with siblings, and some are undoubtedly happier alone. My first would've been happy to be an only child - very independent, happy to play by himself.  My second would've been a terrible only child.  Very social, wants to play with others.  I'm very happy we had two - it gives us two perspectives, two very different boys who amaze us in different ways, and will grow up to be entirely different people - but if we'd stopped at one I don't think either us or our child would've been unhappy.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly, if you're concerned that an only child cannot be happy, that's not true.  Some children are unhappy to be only children, and when they grow up blame their problems on being unhappy; hence the belief of many that it's necessary to have multiple.  But some people are unhappy in every scenario; that's just life.  I imagine the real reason society tends to push on multiple children is that for a long time that was necessary for the human species' continuation.  Not that long ago, a population who had only one child per couple would've died out in a few generations, due to infant and maternal mortality.  Now, one child per couple is probably good for the species in some ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'd do is answer all of those questions directly; by doing so, you give a clue to the other parents to stop putting their nose where it really doesn't belong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;By the time we're all gone, he'll have made his own friends and probably his own family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He'll have two loving and open parents to talk to about his issues, as well as his many friends.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anyone who's had two or more knows that 'easy' is not an appropriate word for it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He'll develop differently, sure; but that's okay.  He'll learn to develop close bonds with others, just as he would with siblings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I think it would be selfish to put our son's future, college, etc., at risk in order to have a second child.  We're making the right decision for our family based on our particular needs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, though, 'easy' is a very odd word for someone who's had multiple children.  Trust me, there is nothing easy about multiple children.  Beautiful and wonderful, sure, but not easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T12:12:25.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-23T12:17:29.493" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer the immediate question: It depends on the personality of your current child. If they start asking questions about or expressing a desire to have a sibling maybe (big maybe) you should revisit the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, let's talk about this unnecessary pressure from these other parents. They have no binding as to decide the number of children you and your wife want to have. It's not their choice because it's not their family. Whether you want one or one-hundred, it's none of their concern. If they offer up their hands to help take care of a new child and also provide financial support, since you mentioned economic reasons, then by all means, consider a second child. They won't provide that support though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I got this exact kind of pressure several years ago after our first was born. &quot;When are you starting on the next one?&quot; It drove us crazy. Eventually It got to a point where I avoided those people. While we have since had another child, we did it in better times for our current situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is unnecessary pressure. While it would be a little preposterous to say cut them off from your life, I would say that the next time it comes, don't beat around the bush about your ideal family size. Tell them point blank, &quot;We want one child and do not foresee having another one. This is our decision and not yours to make, so please respect that.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No one can force this decision on you&lt;/strong&gt;. It's your family. Let it be known.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T12:17:29.493" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-23T12:33:25.607" Score="105" Body="&lt;p&gt;A large part of the population can be counted on to tell you why you should do exactly what they did, and all the downsides to whatever you're doing that they didn't do. You might even have tendencies to do this yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no children? Shame you'll be all alone when you're old.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;5 children? Shame you'll never be able to give each of them the time and money they deserve.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not married? Shame you can't share the greatest bond that ever existed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Married? Shame your love isn't strong enough to keep you together without a piece of paper.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Two jobs? Shame you never get any time together, and that neither of you is a true success&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One job, one stays home? Shame you've accepted outdated gender roles (even while reversing them if you have), and that the stay home one is not a true success&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cloth diapers? Shame you don't mind risking your child's health to look trendy and be holier-than-thou&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;disposable diapers? Shame you don't mind ruining the planet and your child's health, and supporting evil conglomerates, for a little convenience&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And so on. Do not look for factual rebuttals to these claims. All important decisions have plusses and minuses. Your friends are not wrong when they mention some of the minuses of having &quot;only&quot; one child. But the existence of these minuses doesn't mean you're wrong to stop at one. If you go on to have another child later, it doesn't mean these friends can be delighted that they &quot;won the argument.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can, just laugh these comments off and say &quot;when and if we're expecting another, we'll be sure to tell you!&quot; If you can't laugh, and wish they could stop, put a serious face on and say &quot;things aren't always that simple, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't campaign for something I can't choose right now.&quot; Then don't go into details about the &quot;can't&quot;. They may conclude you're infertile, but at least they'll stop teasing you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really want advice, surely you know that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;people manage to afford more than two children on less money than you have, no matter how little money you have, and think they are doing ok&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;children can be happy or unhappy with or without siblings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;advantages and disadvantages come packaged together and you can't choose one set without the other&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;this is your decision and you don't need to defend it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T12:33:25.607" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-23T12:49:07.670" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your gut feeling is correct!  Stereotypes aside, all the actual scientific research done on this indicates that not only are only children equally well adjusted, but they tend to (slightly) outperform children with siblings, the theory being that they face more parental scrutiny and are thus helped/pressured more.  Wikipedia's &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Only_child&quot;&gt;&quot;Only child&quot; article&lt;/a&gt; goes into detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a parent's point of view, having more children is obviously more work, and entails additional costs as well.  However, as a friend of mine put it, while the transition from zero children to one child is &quot;infinite&quot; (more or less everything in your life changes), the transition from one to two is &quot;1.5x&quot; -- you've already gone through the learning curve once, so everything is easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T12:49:07.670" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-23T12:58:22.100" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Laughter, especially nervous one, is very common way for a body to release stress. Each time you become mad or angry you put your daughter in a stressful for her state. &#xA;Instead of thinking about her reaction, I suggest you start thinking how to avoid her emotions, but eliminating such behavior as anger. &#xA;It's all about you, not her reaction. &#xA;Talking everything out and speaking in a polite calm manner will help much more than you think. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7489" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T12:58:22.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12256" CreationDate="2014-04-23T13:09:41.023" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents are the one who set the example. I don't think such punishments as pulling weeds in your yards or going to bed early will make him realize why normal decent human beings do not curse. Talk to him on this matter, explain why people who express themselves such as, are not respected and are not considered to be educated or smart. Especially when the words were addressed to a female which lowers his standards of female respect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7489" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T13:09:41.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-23T13:33:19.757" Score="50" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering what real, concrete evidence there is one way or the other? Is a child really better off with a sibling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you measure this?  &amp;quot;Better off&amp;quot; is potentially subjective, and only-child vs. having siblings is likely a trade-off of some positives and some negatives for each side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Research&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Studies appear to be somewhat contradictory, likely because of the subjective nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.susannewmanphd.com/?p=40&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Susan Newmann&lt;/a&gt;, a Social Psychologist, advocates for only children being no different, on the whole, from children with siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/09/opinion/sunday/only-children-lonely-and-selfish.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This opinion piece&lt;/a&gt; cites numerous studies (unfortunately most are not specifically identified) that indicate there are no significant differences between only-children and those with siblings:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;in hundreds of studies during the past decades exploring 16 character traits — including leadership, maturity, extroversion, social participation, popularity, generosity, cooperativeness, flexibility, emotional stability, contentment — only children scored just as well as children with siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An Ohio State survey of more than 13,000 children found that only children had as many friends as anyone else&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1988-23111-001&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Some studies&lt;/a&gt; even suggest that only children may have some advantages over children with siblings:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This review combined the results of 141 studies and found that only children scored significantly better than other groups in achievement motivation and personal adjustment. The achievement motivation finding was especially reliable, persisting across several comparison groups. Overall, however, the review indicated that only children were comparable in most respects to their siblinged counterparts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, on the other side of the coin, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.the-scientist.com/?articles.view/articleNo/33940/title/Benefits-of-Siblings/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;studies&lt;/a&gt; were done to evaluate the differences between children born before and after the &amp;quot;One Child&amp;quot; policy introduced in China in 1979.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The team had the participants play simple economics games, which involve the exchange of money between anonymous participants and are designed to test a range of personality indicators. The games revealed that people born after the introduction of the policy were, not only less trusting, less trustworthy, and more pessimistic, but also less competitive, less conscientious, and more risk-averse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the article I link extolls the scientific virtues of this study, personally I am concerned that they're identifying the relationship as causal, even though the children are of different generations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes children might feel that their parents &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/11283/420&quot;&gt;favor their sibling(s) over them&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://cogsci.stackexchange.com/a/5556/864&quot;&gt;Research on favoritism&lt;/a&gt; shows this can have some negative consequences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Self-esteem in the child correlates to perceived parental favoritism (Felson &amp;amp; Zielinski, 1989; Zervas &amp;amp; Sherman, 1994). Children, whose parents had treated all children equally, rated highest in self-esteem; favored children rated lower, nonfavored lowest (Zervas &amp;amp; Sherman, 1994). Parents' supportive behavior affects the self-esteem of children but child self-esteem also affects how much support children report their parents give them; in addition, parents have a greater effect on the self-esteem of girls than of boys (Felson &amp;amp; Zielinski, 1989).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Siblings express less warmth and greater hostility toward one another when parents show favoritism (McHale et al., 1995)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;over time, being unfavored by parents produces behavior problems in children (Richmond, Stocker, &amp;amp; Rienks, 2005)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Anecdotes&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Only Children&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am an only child, as is my cousin, who is the family member I've always had the closest relationship with.  We've discussed this topic quite a bit between us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We both agreed that being an only child had disadvantages.  We both felt that not having siblings took away opportunities from us.  Opportunities to be or have role models close to our age.  Opportunities to have readily-available playmates at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've also discussed other benefits, such as saving money on hand-me-downs, and the kids entertaining themselves more readily, freeing up some &amp;quot;me&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;us&amp;quot; time for the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the negatives I listed above can also be viewed as positives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lack of readily-available playmates (I grew up in a suburban neighborhood with very few children; most of my neighbors were older, with grandchildren) made me adept at finding ways to amuse myself (including developing a love of reading).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that my being an only child has generally made me more independant&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Siblings&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also potential downsides for having siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hand-me-downs are an economic advantage for the parents, but may &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/8304/420&quot;&gt;be problematic for the ones receiving them&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And ultimately, some siblings just do not get along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is one of three daughters.  Her relationship with one of her sisters is, and always has been... well, &amp;quot;strained&amp;quot; is the most positive term I can use to describe it.  Much of their history has been outright hostile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know other people who grew up resentful because they felt that they were shouldered with the burden of being responsible for their younger sibling(s).  Of course, others had the exact opposite perception.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parents&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the mix of pros and cons for each, ultimately it should be what works best for the parents that should be the deciding factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My cousin wound up having two children, for exactly the reasons I mentioned above.  She is very happy that they have grown to be very good friends.  Sure, there is occasional strife, but generally they stick up for each other, play well with each other, and share a strong bond.  It does seem to give my cousin and her husband more time with the kids off doing their own thing, but I suspect that that benefit may be short-lived, especially if the kids start getting involved in extracurricular activities (one is school-aged, the other will be soon).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I, on the other hand, wound up deciding that we're sticking with one child, despite my previous belief that I wanted two.  There were a number of factors in our decision, ranging from space (our house isn't terribly large, so room-sharing would be a potential issue) to finance (kids, especially infants, are &lt;em&gt;expensive&lt;/em&gt;!) to time (newborns are a tremendous investment in time as well as money, and we don't want to have to start off with diapers all over again!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, though, I think what sealed the deal for us was just how happy and well-adjusted our son appears, even though he doesn't have a sibling.  He plays very well with others, has always shared exceptionally well for his age, and has a number of friends that he's made, in daycare and out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, do what &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; think is best, and ignore the opinion of others.  After all, if you do wind up having another child, eventually you'll probably start hearing people commenting on how much better only children have it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T13:33:19.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12308" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-23T17:32:37.560" Score="5" ViewCount="790" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is often recommended that the negative, behavior of children, i.e. behavior unwanted by their parents, should be met with its &quot;natural consequences&quot;. For example being cold outside in winter will teach your child to wear mittens without your interference. But there is some behavior where a natural consequence is hard for me to imagine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine there is a 6 year old child who reacts with outbursts of extreme anger whenever his parents end their special play time (i.e. the time the parents play &quot;on their knees&quot; with their child). The natural consequence seems to be not to play again with the child. But this seems extreme, contrary to the wishes of both parent and child, and leave no exit, because the child gets no future chance to display positive behavior. On the other hand, simply playing together again the next day will show the child that his behavior has no consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what would natural consequences be for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;running away&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;threatening (with gesture) to hit parents, or actually hitting them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;being angry at parents for the child's own failures&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and similar behavior from a six year old boy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2014-06-07T05:52:56.820" LastActivityDate="2014-06-07T05:52:56.820" Title="&quot;Natural consequences&quot; where they don't happen?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12262" CreationDate="2014-04-23T17:50:43.710" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had/have a picky eater and spoke to our pediatrician at around this same age, perhaps a bit earlier.  His advice was that when the child was hungry they would eat.  Now I am sure that there are some cases where this would have been terrible advice, but in rather the majority of cases it is the right answer.  With this advice I stopped forcing them to eat their food but refused to provide alternatives.  This has been successful and my picky eaters now eat a wider variety of food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother has picky eaters as well, who doesn't.  However, he and his wife cater to them and make multiple meals frequently to satisfy them.  At times they have come to visit, and we received a long list of what we needed to do to meet their needs.  We however did what we always do and served the food that was for dinner, and left it at that.  At the first threat of vomit we simply said we don't do that here, if you don't want to eat it you don't have to.  There was no vomit and the meal was eaten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the last year we made a significant change in our diet, that facilitated loosing a large amount of weight between me and my wife.  We had seen the impact our diet was starting to have on our children as well and felt it important to help them learn to eat correctly with us.  This was not met with enthusiasm as we switch from a plate predominately full of meats and starches, to one dominated by vegetables with a little meat.  There were a few refusals to eat at first, but by and large the transition now has been successful.  Our children now eat vegetables with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final thought.  Over the years I have learned that the adult palate and the childs are different, in some unfortunate ways.  It seems the more bland food is the more likely a child is to enjoy it.  As such I have had to learn that if food is spiced or seasoned to my preference, then I can expect that they will most likely reject it.  So I now prepare it and season my plate separately where possible.  That is changing now as my kids become teenagers and no longer suffer from this malefaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7477" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-09T12:17:55.143" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T12:17:55.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12308" CreationDate="2014-04-23T17:52:46.010" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find natural consequences to be my preference, since they tend to generally be more instructive than &quot;do what I say because those are the rules&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in some circumstances, natural consequences are simply not a viable option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In those instances, a substitute consequence is entirely appropriate.  Failure to tie in a &quot;natural&quot; consequence should not result in the child getting away with &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At six, loss of small (or large, depending on the severity of the infraction) privileges is usually a good substitute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, be sure to look carefully to see if an appropriate natural consequence can be found before going to a substitute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the examples you listed, I'd think that restricted ability to play outside without close supervision would be a natural consequence of a child running away (&quot;you have to stay right here by mommy and daddy until we can trust you to not run away&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child threatens to hit, or actually hits, someone, including but not limited to a parent, the natural consequence is canceling an activity involving the person hit (e.g. &quot;we're not going to the playground because you hit me, and that really hurt my feelings, so I don't feel like doing something fun with you right now&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, a child being angry with a parent because of the child failing to accomplish something has a natural consequence of hurting the parent's feelings.  In this case, though, a simple, but sincere, apology might be sufficient, if the child's anger and frustration can be redirected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T17:52:46.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-23T17:57:42.547" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer depends on how and where you live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;1&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up in a small village at a time when no one had the time or money to go on holidays more then once a year. When I came home from school, my mother sent me outside and all my friends where always there. I was never bored or alone, even during the long summers, and in the rare cases that I needed to go home, my mother, a full time housewife/homemaker was always there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own son, now six, is an only child. We live in a situation where most of his peers are away for the weekends and holidays with their well-to-do families, and busy with music school, sports and other activities in the afternoon on weekdays. Whenever they are at home, they appear to have other friends visting them, and their parents don't want more than one other child over, so my son cannot come, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The effect is that my son is alone at home (or outside) on 9 of 10 days on average. He is extremely bored and unhappy. So I spend a lot more time with him than I actually have the time and energy for. Which makes me short-tempered, impatient, and generally exhausted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had known this in advance (which I might have, by observing how families with children live nowadays), I would have had at least one other child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;2&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a brother, and therefore I always had an ally. As a child, you're not always happy with your parents, and being unhappy with them together with my brother made everything feel much less serious. If two children have to go to bed at eight, that's fun. If one child has to go to bed at eight, that's unfair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My only son has to bear every mood, stress or conflict of his parents alone. There is no way out for him when his parents are unhappy with each other. If a child does something to anger his parents, it is always him. As a child, I could sometimes relax because it wasn't me, but my brother. The pressure to please me is much greater for my son than it was for myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;3&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A large family makes for a safe haven. It is not the same sleeping in your parent's bed than sleeping in the same bed with your sibling. It is not the same being brought to kindergarten by your mother than going to kindergarten with your sibling and having him as emotional backup all day. It is not the same calling your parents from college than being visited there by your brother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;4&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has often complained about not having a brother. Although my brother and I often quarreled, I have never complained about having him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;To me, having an only child is the one biggest parenting mistake I made. I would never do it again, but it is now too late to rectify.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;B&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in circumstances where your child has playmates, where other family members like aunts, grandparents and cousins serve as allies and a large family network, then siblings are not important. Many families from a Muslim background, that live here, form large extended &amp;quot;tribal&amp;quot; families, unlike the Western nuclear families, and within those all children are communally brought up by all adults, and all children play together, so even the only children have siblings of sorts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is completely irrelevant what other people think about your family planning. All I recommend is that you carefully consider how your family will live for the next twenty years, as compared to how much trouble a second toddler would be for the next two years. A good guide for your decision may be how you feel yourself: are you happy being alone, spending much time by yourself, or do you enjoy having someone around you? Looking at myself, I can say that I don't like being at home alone. If that happens, I usually go out and sit to work in a busy place. I like to be alone, but only as an exception. Both my wife and I are extremely social and outgoing persons. I think we passed on this gene of loving company to our son. Having him grow up alone is against his nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a trained psychologist I am familiar with much of the research on children. Only children do not differ from children with siblings in their &lt;em&gt;performance&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;social adjustment&lt;/em&gt;. And of course there are many, many children who hated their siblings and have no contact to them as adults. &lt;em&gt;But these are average results.&lt;/em&gt; This does not contradict the fact that people are different and an individual child might have profited from growing up in a different situation, or that a well performing and well adjusted only child might have been more &lt;strong&gt;happy&lt;/strong&gt; having siblings. So again, look carefully at your family and try to understand what you will need for yourself as well as for your child not only over the next two years or so but in the long run. A year of sleepless nights is over quickly, but a lonely child lasts a lifetime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T09:58:10.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12312" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-23T18:25:48.047" Score="7" ViewCount="1646" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2-year-old daughter and I am currently living with a roommate who also has a 2-year-old daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My roommate's daughter is constantly bullying my daughter by pulling her hair, biting, hitting, taking toys, pushing her down and throwing things at her; It is to the point that my daughter is now scared to even be around her and cries anytime she comes close to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This behavior has been happening since we moved in about 6 months ago but comes in and goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My roommate disciplines her daughter by removing her from the room but she will just come back and do it again immediately after she walks away from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I monitor my daughter constantly when they are together to prevent this and I've spoken with my roommate about this multiple times and warned that if it continues we are moving out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides moving what other advice is there for preventing my daughter from being bullied like this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6821" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-24T12:15:19.320" LastActivityDate="2019-05-24T12:15:19.320" Title="How to prevent my 2-year-old from being bullied by our roommate's child?" Tags="|toddler|violence|bullying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5061" CreationDate="2014-04-23T20:06:06.400" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on whether it is a dangerous sitation, requiring immediate action, or immediate danger (I am assuming that all reasonable efforts to prevent danger have been taken, and that in general the least extreme measure is preferred). So all you have to do is some good old risc management (in the split of a second).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child does something that is not immediately dangerous, eg. running on the street when there is no car nearby, you only have to react immediately to make sure the child understands what you are talking about, but there is nothing special to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is about to do something dangerous, as in the examples in your question, a yell can provide the necessary interrupt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I once caught my child standing on the window sill. In this moment, yelling would have been more dangerous so I calmly walked there to lift him down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At another time, my child was running towards a swing while another kid was swinging, not listening to me shouting &quot;stop&quot;. I reached him in the last second and pulled/pushed him away. I would never do this as a punishment, but in this situation it was the only way to prevent a much worse head injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So to sum up, be careful that your actions don't increase the danger and then do whatever is necessary to remove the danger.&#xA;Instead of yelling, I sometimes speak loudly while biting my teeth together. It conveys the same sense of urgency while it is less likely to scare up the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7498" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-04-25T01:22:57.563" LastActivityDate="2014-04-25T01:22:57.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12314" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12328" CreationDate="2014-04-23T20:28:43.250" Score="10" ViewCount="994" Body="&lt;p&gt;We noticed that our 3.5 year old child begins showing signs of Asperger. Each of these signs, by itself, could be explained with age, but in sum it appears noticeable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not going to list the signs and I'm not asking for a diagnosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At which age is it even possible to diagnose Asperger (or the lack thereof) with confidence? And, assuming our suspicion doesn't fade, at which age is it worth it given that there is not much that can be done about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7498" LastEditorUserId="3849" LastEditDate="2018-04-11T10:28:09.643" LastActivityDate="2018-04-11T10:28:09.643" Title="At which age does it make sense to see a professional when suspecting Asperger?" Tags="|pre-schooler|autism|asperger|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12314" CreationDate="2014-04-23T21:36:27.503" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As soon as possible.  You can notice some of the characteristic signs as early as 12 months (e.g., no pointing or gestures) [1].  By 3.5 years there should be plenty of information for a specialist to work with, and if the child does have Asperger syndrome, an early diagnosis is very helpful.  While it's true that not much can be done about it in the sense of curing it, you can do a lot to help them enhance their communication skills, behavioural skills, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1] &lt;a href=&quot;https://apa.org/practice/guidelines/autism-screening-diagnosis.pdf&quot;&gt;https://apa.org/practice/guidelines/autism-screening-diagnosis.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7185" LastActivityDate="2014-04-23T21:36:27.503" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-04-24T00:00:32.467" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of of good, well though out answers here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In college I visited a psychologist about possibly having Asperger's, but was eventually told I was too well adapted to get a diagnosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I usually find enraged people hilarious, as long as I'm not immediately physically threatened, and even sometimes then. I'm not talking some laughter for other reason, I honestly think they're funny. Being enraged is irrational, and irrational is amusing. This has resulted in me having to drop a class and find a more easy going professor before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you describe, and seeing the other excellent answers, this probably isn't the case in your situation, but I just wanted to raise the possibility that someone who laughs at somebody yelling at them could really and truly be amused by it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7504" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T00:00:32.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11672" CreationDate="2014-04-24T06:43:44.230" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speech is not the only medium that relies on phrasing and pacing of what is being conveyed for the effectiveness of the communication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, I'm thinking of music; jazz musicians in particular are very highly attuned to these aspects of their performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how much interest your daughter (or you) have in jazz, but there are some absolutely classic performances which illustrate -- better than anything else I can think of -- the rhetorical importance of timing, space and pacing for effective communication. Examples: Miles Davis's album &lt;em&gt;Kind of Blue,&lt;/em&gt; Sonny Rollins's &lt;em&gt;Saxophone Colossus,&lt;/em&gt; and pretty much any album where Stan Getz is the leader. If you can expose her to those albums and suggest to her that she should pay attention to how the phrasing of the musicians augments the impact of their performance, she may begin to realize that her vocalization style could benefit from taking a similar approach (something that would also stand her in good stead if she participates in a drama class).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if nothing else comes out of it, she'll now be acquainted with some first-class music...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7324" LastEditorUserId="7324" LastEditDate="2014-04-24T08:23:43.013" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T08:23:43.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12312" CreationDate="2014-04-24T11:06:46.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question Joe linked has your answer.  In short, the cost of bullying needs to outweigh the benefits the other child gets.  Help your daughter come up with strategies that will make bullying not worth it for the bully to continue in her behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing that at 2 will be a bit harder, because their verbal repartee is not what it will be in a few years.  And I do worry about teaching your child it's okay to fight fire with fire, because that might be hard to unwind later.  But until you can move out, you do need to do something.  I'm assuming that when you say you &quot;monitor&quot; the children, that you actively interfere when bullying behavior occurs.  Do you also bring her mom in when it happens?  Do you both try to make clear, as a united front, that her behavior is wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, two is not known as an age of great wisdom and restraint.  If you need to keep both girls separated entirely until you guys can move out, that might be your last resort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sympathies; the economy makes roommates sometimes a requirement to get by, but you can easily get caught in situations like this.  Hang in there! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T11:06:46.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-24T15:40:01.680" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we talk about abuse - sexual, physical, or emotional - we find that siblings are a disturbingly high source of that abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Siblings are a higher source of sexual abuse than parents. Rates of sibling sexual abuse may be five times higher than parental sexual abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any decision to introduce a new child needs to be informed by the knowledge of this potential abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mosac.org.uk/downloads/sibling-abuse-leaflet.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mosac.org.uk/downloads/sibling-abuse-leaflet.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/111312p18.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/111312p18.shtml&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T15:40:01.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-24T20:30:27.613" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking as an only child I never missed having siblings. I often got the question &quot;don't you get lonely when your parents are away?&quot; and the answer is no. I usually didn't, and if I did I had friends I could play with. When I compare myself to my best childhood friends (who all had siblings, by the way) I find that I am more independent than they are, while they handle conflicts better than I do, for instance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, these things depend a lot on the personality of your child and it may be that I would have been introverted even if I had had siblings. I may have expressed a desire to have siblings as a child (I don't remember), but as an adult I feel that I never missed having siblings. The same goes for most of my only-child friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm writing this answer to give you my point of view as an only child, and not to try to convince you not to have more children, that is your choice (and not the other parent's either). It is &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; family after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7525" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T20:30:27.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12287" CreationDate="2014-04-24T20:58:18.060" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't want too low a temperature due to the possibility of legionnaires' disease.  However, the hotter the water, the more quickly a burn will occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notably, children don't have quick reaction times to pain - they don't always jerk their hands away reflexively from a heat source.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can take less than 3 seconds to sustain a 3rd degree burn from 145F (63C) water, but it can take 5 minutes or longer to sustain a 3rd degree burn from 120F (49C) water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov//PageFiles/121522/5098.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Consumer Safety Product Commision (CPSC)&lt;/a&gt; and the &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/1/202.long&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; recommends that hot water heaters in homes with children (and elderly) be set no higher than 120F (49C).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.treehugger.com/green-food/is-it-safe-to-turn-down-your-water-heater-temperature.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;At that temperature Legionnaires' disease is low risk&lt;/a&gt;, and if your water supply is pre-treated then the risk is negligible. Much lower than 120F (49C), however, and this anaerobic bacteria can multiple in the water pipes faster than they would in the cold water pipe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond the temperature setting of your hot water heater, you can install anti-scald devices which limit the temperature at the faucet.  You can also install a thermostatic mixing valve at the output of the hot water heater, and leave the heater at a higher temperature.  The heater can then be at, perhaps, 140F (60C), but the mixing valve will automatically mix cold water at the output so the water at the faucets goes no higher than 120F (49C). This can give you more apparent hot water if you find yourself running out of hot water frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, however, that the best defense against injury due to hot water is your own presence. Don't let children be unattended in areas where they have access to hot water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="1700" LastEditDate="2014-04-28T15:08:15.423" LastActivityDate="2014-04-28T15:08:15.423" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-24T21:06:12.827" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no way you can give the same amount of attention to two kids that you give to one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;also&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no way that what you do with a child will ever replace what a sibling will do for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your &quot;friends&quot; ask about you having more kids, let them know that as soon as they volunteer to come take care of your kids, they can have some input on how many you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The absolute worst decision you could make would be to have more kids because people are pressuring you to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone who is a parent, who cares about their kids, wonders if they are somehow screwing up their kids.  That's normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give you is that you should listen to other people's parenting ideas, but don't implement them unless they resonate with you.  People parent in wildly different ways, and kids do ok.  The worst stuff I see people doing is stuff they do because they feel forced to by some outside influence.  Your family is your family; the rest of society may have some influence but they should never have final say.  You need to be the barrier between your family and the world's fickle whims.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also echo what others have said--you probably can handle having more, financially and emotionally and everything.  But you should not have more unless you're sure it's what you want to do.  There is all the difference in the world between a challenge you personally chose and a challenge that you blundered into or had forced on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7526" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T21:06:12.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1181" CreationDate="2014-04-24T21:20:23.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been thinking about such a device for years now, but there are still many practical problems that prevent me from designing it.  It needs to be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;small enough to be concealed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;large enough that it isn't easily lost even when the battery is dead&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;long lasting - at least 16 hours to a single charge, but ideally 72+ hours&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;easy to recharge&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;functional indoors, inside vehicles, basements, parking garages&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;waterproof, washable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;useful and fun for the child so they don't lose it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;secure, with encryption so only the parents can track (ideally so not even the company can get the location data, nevermind attackers)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;inexpensive both in initial cost and recurring cost&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;simple to use&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now most solutions on the market fail in most of the above ways, but creating a device that meets all these objectives may not be possible. Hopefully this list provides you with some guidance on what to compare across the available devices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T21:20:23.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-24T22:58:49.780" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had one child, and without our knowledge or consent nature served us up another one 13 months after the first.  NEVER would we have made such a foolish and ill advised decision, I am an Ivy-League graduate-level degree holder in a quantitative discipline!  I know better than that!&#xA;Yet, James, our second, was the greatest gift we've ever gotten, and the most beneficial thing we EVER could have done for our cherished first born, and we never knew!  How are we so lucky that chance, fate, the universe delivered James, not to us, but to our first born son, Thomas.  We are not smart enough, not broad minded enough, to see beforehand all the benefits that James has brought into not only our lives, but THOMAS' life.  PLEASE BELIEVE US.  AS PARENTS THRUST INTO HAVING MULTIPLE CHILDREN, THERE IS NOTHING GREATER YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR CHILD.  They are so happy together, they teach each other, they depend on each other, they each make the other better and more complete.&#xA;I will go to my grave with the stongest conviction on this topic.  One is a terrible mistake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7528" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T22:58:49.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12308" CreationDate="2014-04-24T23:50:37.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the natural consequence of antisocial behaviors is that people do not want to spend time with you. When your child is misbehaving in these ways, a time out is appropriate - you withdraw your attention from the child because the child has abused your attention-giving. It is not a physical consequence in the way that cold makes a child put on mittens, it is a social consequence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond having pleasant interactions with your child, you have a longer goal here of teaching your child how to behave with others. Other children will not tolerate these behaviors and will refuse to have anything to do with a child who is unpleasant. By removing your attention for a short period, you are demonstrating to your child the consequences he will feel when he acts this way towards others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-04-24T23:50:37.637" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12314" CreationDate="2014-04-25T04:16:19.917" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what the &quot;official&quot; age is where one can be diagnosed with Aspergers with certainty.  I'm sorry I can't answer that question for you. Regarding the second aspect of your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;assuming our suspicion doesn't fade, at which age is it worth it given that there is not much that can be done about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer to that is as soon as possible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I disagree with your statement that &quot;not much that can be done about it.&quot;  True, there is no cure, but that's hardly the same as not having any options.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should trust your instincts and get your child evaluated.  The worst thing that could happen is that it turns out that your child is normal.  However, if your child is NOT normal, whether it is because of Asperger or something else, you can begin seeking treatment/support right away.  Just because there is no &quot;cure&quot; for Aspergers does not mean you should be sitting around doing nothing about it.  There are tons of resources available to help your child and your family get the most out of life no matter what.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had added this &lt;a href=&quot;http://nichcy.org/babies/overview&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; in a comment (which I deleted in order to post this answer) and I do hope its relevant; if you are in the US it should be.  I really think that Early Intervention can probably help you. The site has a lot of good information about how to navigate the various services and options that may be available, and also has lots of good links to other resources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The advantages of early intervention cannot be overemphasized&lt;/strong&gt;. Children who receive intensive therapy can make tremendous strides in their overall functioning and go on to lead productive lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The above is quoted from the Autism Society's website's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism-society.org/about-autism/diagnosis/screening-instruments/&quot;&gt;screening page&lt;/a&gt;, which also mentions that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends autism (the spectrum of which includes Aspergers) screenings at 18 months of age and again at 24 months. If your doctor hasn't already brought it up, it is NOT unreasonable for you to do so the next time you are there, if you choose to wait until your next scheduled check-up.  To prepare for the visit, you can start by keeping notes of the situations where your child's behavior concerns you.  Also, here is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://es.easterseals.com/site/PageNavigator/ntlc10_mffc_homepageasq.html&quot;&gt;questionnaire&lt;/a&gt; from the Easter Seals that you can take that may help you identify whether or not your child is on track developmentally.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if your child is too old for the EI program, your local school district may be able to help you.  See if you can find a local outreach organization (usually associated with the local school district), such as Child Find, that does screenings of pre-school aged children. These screenings evaluate children in various areas of development- social, emotional, physical, academic- and usually also for hearing and vision problems.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sorry if you are not in the US and all of this is not applicable to you.  What I'm trying to say essentially is, no matter where you are, you need to be an advocate for your child.  You don't necessarily need to rely on your doctor to get the ball rolling- that is up to &lt;em&gt;you.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not a special ed professional, nor am I social worker; I am a mother who felt strongly that her child was a little off when he was very young.  I didn't wait for someone to validate or confirm my suspicions.  I found a local outreach center and I called them up.  It was an intensive process- the evaluations, that is- but it was worth it.  My son had a speech delay.  He was my first child and I didn't even realize he was that far behind with his language, but the frustration that he felt by not being able to communicate was the source of his other symptoms.  He was 2 when he was &quot;diagnosed&quot; and by the time he was 4 he was developmentally equivalent with his peers.  I realize that what you are concerned about is a little bit more serious than a speech delay, however, the lesson learned is that the earlier you start, the sooner you see results. And, you can prevent what could be a minor problem from compounding into something much more complex and difficult to resolve/treat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-04-25T04:16:19.917" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12314" CreationDate="2014-04-25T10:41:33.130" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having just gone through the autism evaluation process with a four year old, the process does feel a little silly and inexact if your child is just &quot;showing a few signs&quot;.  Parental evaluations are weighted rather heavily when your child is young, so it feels like you're providing incriminating evidence to the prosecution every time you describe your child's behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The diagnosis isn't really that useful to me, what I want is the resources and knowledge to help my child thrive.  For instance, my child is socially awkward with his peers.  There are programs where my kid can get together with other kids that have the same difficulties and work together in a group setting.  There are classes like &quot;Teach me how to play at recess&quot; and other things that seem oddly specific yet are the exact things I don't know how to help my child with.  Child development psychologists know about all of these resources and can help you find ones that are appropriate for your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastActivityDate="2014-04-25T10:41:33.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7980" CreationDate="2014-04-25T17:27:00.787" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Others have addressed dietary issues, I'll just comment on teeth and gums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's nothing any worse for your kid's teeth and gums with chocolate (or any other sweet) than there is any other fermentable carbohydrate. It might take up residence in more places in her mouth than, say, bread would, but nothing about it will be worse than apple juice would be or the milk/formula she's already getting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which is not to give chocolate a pass from potential negative repercussions, but they are repercussions likely happening as a result of other foods you're likely giving her happily. So you need to stay on top of the oral care you should be starting already with a baby toothbrush and getting her used to the idea of brushing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2014-04-25T17:27:00.787" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-25T18:31:57.040" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When your friends say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shame! Poor child, he'll be all alone when you two are gone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is brought up in a way that allows them to form healthy relationships there is no reason why they should be 'alone'. Also, having more than one child makes no guarantees that they will be any less lonely as they may not get on or want to spend time with each other out of choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shame, he won't have someone to talk to about issues at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do your best to may sure your child is as comfortable talking to you about any topic as possible, I don't see why this should be a problem. Even if you were to have further children, if they only ever felt able to talk to each other about 'issues at home' without feeling they could come to you to do something about said issues, that would not be a good situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's much easier to have two or more, they can play with each other.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having more than one child should never be a substitute for forging a relationship with your children directly. I have heard this argument used a fair few times and having more than one child does not absolve you of any responsibility. You can't just stick them in each others company and think it takes care of itself. I know it is only my personal experience, but my sister rarely ever wanted to play with me or keep me company, resulting in me being a very lonely child despite having a sibling. If she did interact with me, it was when she was bored and she would cruelly constantly bully me throughout my childhood. Although I am an adult now, I hold a deep resentment towards her for that. How my sister treated me, which was allowed to happen because adults often left us unsupervised, has damaged me and the way I can form relationships and trust people as a result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realise this is only one person's experience and know that some siblings can get along well. All I'm saying is that there are no guarantees of good relationships between siblings and that parent/childcare supervision is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He'll develop much better by learning close bond only siblings can give.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once again, SO much depends on whether they get on and whether they even want to be in each others company, which is impossible to predict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Isn't that a bit selfish, you should think about your son, he'll be better off with a brother/sister&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once again, this is impossible to predict. People can have vastly different personalities and some children are perfectly happy as only children. It is important to let them socialise with other children often, but plenty of after school clubs and having other children round/ going to other children's houses should be plenty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your reasons for just wanting one are primarily economic, that is perfectly valid too. Being able to give him more attention and support than would otherwise be possible sounds great as well. If having a second would cause a lot more stress for the both of you, then that would be bad for your son. I am very sorry I have not given you any 'concrete evidence' one way or the other, but I don't think any study that claims with complete certainty that having a single child or having more than one is better is likely to be very reliable as there are so so so many factors at play. It's not that clear cut. Do what is best for you. Your 'friends' may criticize/judge you, but you are far better off following your own instincts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with what ChristopherW said when he said to tell your friends &quot;We want one child and do not foresee having another one. This is our decision and not yours to make, so please respect that.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best and good luck. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7547" LastActivityDate="2014-04-25T18:31:57.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12336" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12337" CreationDate="2014-04-26T15:41:49.533" Score="1" ViewCount="3323" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have taken up the habit of feeding my newborn every 4 hours during the day, since we left the maternity.&#xA;However, sometimes when the time to feed her comes, she's sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I wait until she wakes up by herself, or should I wake her up ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2014-04-27T13:30:45.013" Title="Should I let a newborn sleep when it's time for feeding?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-04-29T12:30:41.460" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12336" CreationDate="2014-04-27T00:34:28.360" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should talk to your pediatrician because the answer can depend on your baby and how well she drinks on an ad-lib diet (she gets to decide when and how much to drink).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our baby was in the hospital (due to complications related to being a preemie), they would wake him up every 3 hours initially to feed him and then later changed that to 4 hours. He was later switched to ad-lib feeding. However, they took into considerations his needs (he was underweight) and I'm not sure what is recommended in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7551" LastActivityDate="2014-04-27T00:34:28.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11743" CreationDate="2014-04-27T07:33:15.997" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be that she is just at the point where reading is frustrating.  It's hard/frustrating to wire the brain to turn squiggles on paper into sounds, and then into meaning.  And you are forcing her to do this activity that she finds frustrating.  It could be that her frustration is easily (and rightfully!) directed at you.  If so, this will pass when she masters reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't hate you.  She hates that you are making her read (or not letting her have candy, or whatever the trigger tonight is) and she has heard the &quot;I hate you&quot; from somewhere and is trying it out.  Try telling her calmly that she doesn't hate you; tell her she's mad at you, and she hates reading  (or whatever it is) because she is still learning how to do it and it is frustrating for her.  On the rare occasions when my daughter (now ten) says, &quot;I hate you!&quot; it sounds vicious, like she means it, but she is really very scared/ miserable saying these words -- it's just that she feels so bad/helpless/mad right then that she thinks saying it will make her feel better; but in actuality it makes her feel worse.  My saying, &quot;No, you don't; you're just really mad at me because you want &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt;; try telling me that... And anyway, I love you very much, even when we're arguing,&quot; is reassuring for her, without taking away her power to object to whatever it is I'm making her do/not do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she get running around time?  You say Tae Kwon Do nights are worse, but does she have some exercise, almost every day?  Especially since things are so tightly scheduled?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried asking her why she's having these tantrums?  Is there some new stress at school? Elsewhere?  When my kid was five she started saying, &quot;I wish I was dead&quot; (which she got from a movie -- I knew that much, but still...).  It was very worrying/upsetting until I finally asked her one night why she was saying that.  A little persistence got her to tell me that her new nanny was behaving in a way we both thought was very unfair;  I cleared the problem up and the &quot;I wish I was dead&quot; went away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2014-04-27T07:33:15.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12339" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-27T09:22:15.690" Score="1" ViewCount="209" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is 2.5 years. He has a high interest in cars and going outside of the house. Every day, whether it is in the morning or afternoon, he always ask us to get out of the house. If we have time, we let him play outside and accompany him. This is usually once per a day. But sometimes, we never let him play outside. I am wondering when we can start to let him play outside the house with his older friends without being accompanied by us. Is there any minimum age? Or any other qualification? Our son cannot speak properly yet and is sometimes hard to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-04-27T13:54:54.503" LastActivityDate="2014-04-27T13:54:54.503" Title="When can I start to let our son play with his friends unattended?" Tags="|toddler|play-time|play|outdoor|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12339" CreationDate="2014-04-27T12:50:09.630" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer to this depends in part on your locality.  In the US, some states have no minimum age for it to be legal to allow your minor to be unsupervised, while others do, as old as 12 in the case of my home state (Illinois).  Now, that's not necessarily an &lt;em&gt;enforced&lt;/em&gt; law, and undoubtedly is meant primarily to apply to fully unsupervised minors (ie, parents leaving for a vacation), but do be aware of the laws in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, I wouldn't say there should be a 'minimum' age globally; each child is different.  My 2.5 year old would probably be okay in the back yard without me, although he knows how to unlatch the front gate, so I certainly can't let him alone back there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How old are the children your chlid will be playing with?  How responsible are they?  How unsupervised are they (are you nearby and checking on them every few minutes)?  These are a few of the things that affect whether this is okay.  A nine year old and a seven year old might be sufficiently responsible to be allowed with him unsupervised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-27T12:50:09.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12336" CreationDate="2014-04-27T13:30:45.013" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;probably Joe has posted almost perfect link that covers answer in most cases. yet, just want to emphasis on one thing. you also need to listen to your baby. &#xA;To see if baby's growth chart is fine you will have to wait until next doctor's appointment when they do wight and height check up and let you know how his growth chart looks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;in most cases as hospital suggests, new born baby needs food  at every 2 hours during first 4 weeks and after that you can skip wake up calls during night. Because their belly is too small and i guess it can store something 25-35ml of liquid only. &#xA;But again if baby is growing fast s/he may need  feeding more frequently. mom will easily be able to tell if baby is actually eating or sleeping/playing while holding it. If baby is not hungry even by trying you can not make him/her eat more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;we just stick to 2 hour schedule in beginning and we were very happy when doctor said his chart looks perfect, no need to change anything and do what you are doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least for 1 week see if 2hour schedule works. you should wake baby up at max 3 hours. if baby is not hungry and not eating even after 3hour, then let him/her sleep again.  s/he will wake up when feels hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;slowly you get better idea what baby wants and accordingly you can adjust the feeding schedule. 1 hour plus/minus in schedule is not to worry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also another reason behind feeding at regular interval is, that controls the mom's milk production cycle. milk production will happen only if there is demand. is demand is consistent then production will be also regularly. and that why hospital also suggest that if baby skip some feeding interval mom should do the Pumping so her body doesn't stop cycle of milk production.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;hope this will relieve some of your concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4999" LastActivityDate="2014-04-27T13:30:45.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12342" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12343" CreationDate="2014-04-27T23:10:29.370" Score="17" ViewCount="650" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a full-time job, while my wife is a full-time homemaker. Our oldest has just turned three, our second is nearly two, and our third is a newborn. Not exactly three under three, but close. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am currently on paternity leave in connection with the birth of our third child. In the morning I usually take our first and second to play in the park. In the afternoon the two have their nap at home. Sometimes I take the two children out again in the late afternoon for a walk. This way, my wife could focus her attention to our newborn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will need to go back to work again when my leave ends, and this means that my wife will have to look after all three at one time on her own most of the days. This is not impossible for her to do, but I imagine it would be harder when I am not around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question to those who have been in a similar situation is this: In what ways can the father maximize his share of responsibility for the caring of the children when he has to go to work at the same time? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastActivityDate="2015-04-25T20:20:53.113" Title="Caring for three under three: In what ways can the father help?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12342" CreationDate="2014-04-28T01:54:01.797" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have not had the experience of three under three but I did have two under two plus a seven year old.  Still, I think I can offer you the advice you seek. Here are some tips:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• Try to view your wife's day the same way you would if she worked outside the home.  Caring for three young children and the home is a full time gig.  If you can, allow her a reprieve when you come home.  Even a half hour will most likely be appreciated. If you can handle more, great, but if not try to give her as much alone time as possible.  After all, you might be tired from working your 8 hour shift, but remember: your shift is over; hers is not. Being a stay at home mom is like never leaving work; breaks are essential for survival.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• Take time with your newborn when s/he is not eating (if bf) or, take over feedings if bottle fed.  This has a dual purpose: one is to allow you wife time with the older two and the other is so that you can bond with your baby.  If you do all the feedings in the evening, you and your wife are getting equal time with the baby.  If she is breast feeding, do everything else but the actual feeding. Change the diaper, burp, rock to sleep, and play when the brief but precious opportunity arises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• While the baby is still waking up frequently at night, do your best to get up at least once during the night. Of course, you need to be sharp at work, but believe me she needs to be sharp to keep an eye on two young, mobile children.  They are at an age where they are most often looking for trouble!  Talk with your wife. See which feeding she'd most like to skip. My husband was awful about waking up in the middle of the night so I had him do the early evening feeding while I hit the sack at the same time as my two year old (7:00). We breast fed, so I wasn't completely off the hook, but it was no big deal to let the baby nurse while I snoozed while daddy waited to burp, swaddle, &amp;amp; then put the baby to bed. This allowed me a 5 hour block of sleep, which any new mother will tell you is like winning the lottery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• In addition to bonding with the baby, you should try to spend one on one time with each of the other kids as well.  It's tough for the kids to have a newborn dominating all of mommy's time.  Both of your kids are at an age where they are prone to jealousy.  It will make them act out during the day (and night too, but it's three against one during the day, so it's more unpleasant then) against your wife or the baby.  Making sure everyone feels &quot;equal&quot; goes a long way towards reducing strife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• try to prepare an extra meal or two on the weekends. It will give you both a night or two off from cooking from scratch.  This frees up an hour or more which can be spent with your kids, catching up on housework, or whatever.  It's so nice on the nights when everyone is tired to not have to cook, and reheating is MUCH easier and cheaper than hauling three kiddos out to a restaurant.  Or, your wife can use these meals during the week at lunch time.  How is this helping caring for the kids? It's not. It's taking a bit of the other load (the housework) off your wife, which makes caring for the kids a little easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• If you have relatives or close friends close by, ask them to come by during the day if possible.  It's always nice to have adult company (for your wife) and if they have kids it's good too for your kids to have other kids to play with. This will help them blow off steam.  I realize that this isn't some thing a father can do directly, but the underlying theme here is to arrange for help at home when you can't be there.  I was always too stubborn to ask for help.  Maybe your wife isn't, but in case she is...that's where you come in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• baby proof the house.  Your wife will appreciate fully operational baby gates, safety locks on the drawers and cupboards, and outlets with covers.  It's one, or twenty, less things to worry about.  It's also comforting to know the kids are safe.  Happy, non-worried parents are better parents.  (This is another one of those &quot;indirect&quot; help items.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• If you need to run errands in the evenings after work, take along a kid or two.  Neither my husband or I have run errands in over 4 years without at least one kid in tow (with a few rare exceptions).  It is a nice way to accomplish some of that one on one time.  (Either her home with one, or you out with one.) My middle child and my husband go grocery shopping every Saturday like clockwork.  It's a chore, sure, but not as much because it's their special time together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• My last piece of advice (which is very general, I know,) is always remember that you love your wife, and she loves you.  Take her out to dinner, or whatever, without the kids.  You two need to have a strong partnership now that you are outnumbered!  Remembering your love for each other as individuals will help you both be better parents.  Both for you and your wife, it may not always feel like you are doing enough, or the right thing (for instance when you've followed the bedtime routine exactly and they &lt;em&gt;won't&lt;/em&gt; go to sleep) so you both need to support each other so you don't go crazy.  All parents can use this advice, but the more kids you have, the more important and harder this becomes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that my advice helps you.  I think it goes without saying that you and your wife have a few tough years ahead of you.  Some days it'll feel like you are on the road to nowhere, and other days you'll wonder where the weeks went.  Enjoy as much if it as you can.  And take lots of pictures!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-04-28T01:54:01.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12314" CreationDate="2014-04-28T09:56:45.187" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I thought I might share our experience with our son, now just gone aged 5 and mildly ASD (so more or less Aspergers as was). An astute creche worker spotted the signs when he was three and he was referred for assessment (this is in the UK). He had two visits from a health team to his nursery when he was aged three or just gone four, and from there was referred to a specialist paediatrician. She made a recommendation and an assessment team made the diagnosis when he was four - mild autism, largely focused on speech and social skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We start our kids early to school here - he started aged four and a half - and so it was crucial to get the ball rolling early. In the part of the UK we live in the National Health Service liaises with the education system with these kinds of needs, and so we were keen to have something in place for him early in the School year. As it happens, with a very helpful head teacher, a very sympathetic and skilled class teacher and good work on the part of the assessment team, we had a dedicated special needs assistant in the classroom with him by mid-Autumn. He just thinks she's a teacher and we have a sense he may not need that level of assistance after a few years, but each kid is different and who knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point being regarding your question: get moving as soon as possible, push for the help if there is resistance, and establish educational needs asap (mainstream versus dedicated schooling; assistance or simply information for teacher; exercises and help at home). And that I know of, the Aspergers diagnosis has simply been redefined as a kind of ASD now (I'm not sure about that).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, he can be cheeky as anything and is not the most articulate, but all in all we have a lovely lad on our hands with a good circle of friends that he has built himself and a great sense of humour. He is going to have it very tough, but he's no disaster. We count ourselves very lucky to have him in our lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6901" LastActivityDate="2014-04-28T09:56:45.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2014-04-28T15:48:28.027" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have just one thing to say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All my friends who are only children or didn't grow up with siblings in the house really suck at sharing. &#xA;That being said, there's nothing wrong with them as people, they just didn't grow up with someone else using their toys all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7562" LastActivityDate="2014-04-28T15:48:28.027" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12346" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12347" CreationDate="2014-04-28T19:54:15.533" Score="1" ViewCount="89" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15 months daughter passes stool 3 times a day. She started this habit last week. Before that she had passed her stool like after 2 or 3 days and that was hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is active, healthy every thing is normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could anyone tell me is it normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7564" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-04-28T21:42:12.007" LastActivityDate="2014-04-28T21:50:44.517" Title="Problem with baby stool" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12346" CreationDate="2014-04-28T21:50:44.517" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children passing stool on a variable basis is not uncommon, and not in and of itself a reason for concern normally.  Often stool changes are due to eating habits; for example, a diet high in fiber (veggies/fruit) will yield softer, more frequent stools, while a diet primarily consisting of meats and cheeses will likely yield infrequent, hard stools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two to three times a day is still well within 'normal'; both of my (13mo and 33mo) children are in that range.  Both are pretty good about veggie/whole fruit consumption, and thus have pretty soft stools.  When they eat more meat/yogurt, they become less frequent and harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, this is not a site for medical advice, so if you have some concern, you should certainly talk to your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-28T21:50:44.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12349" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12362" CreationDate="2014-04-29T05:36:46.713" Score="2" ViewCount="236" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three daughters, aged 5, 7 and 9.  I teach them to love and to respect, to be kind and to be good friends, but what they come across at school is people insulting, bullying and hurting their feelings.  Am I teaching them a wrong approach to life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7567" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T20:53:41.023" Title="How do I teach my girls to deal with disappointment in friendships" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12342" CreationDate="2014-04-29T05:42:54.967" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a mother who has been in the same situation.  My advice is be very tolerant and helpful with house routines, understand mood changes and the frustration of becoming a full time parent without practically any adult interaction.  Support your partner and try to allow her some time for herself.  Encourage her and remind her all the time that you appreciate and admire her work as a mother.  Present her every now and then with her favorite sandwich.  Moms often forget eating and this is not healthy.  Remember that she also needs to sleep at nights.  This is a beautiful and challenging time at the same time.  Enjoy it but remember that now you have two jobs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7567" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T05:42:54.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12216" CreationDate="2014-04-29T05:51:37.790" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nine year-old girls always love to play with toddlers because that makes them feel like a small mom.  In a way, it is like playing with dolls but live.  Sort of.  That's how it works with my nine year-old daughter.  I would trust her but always supervised and after washing her hands.  Remember that schools are loaded with germs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7567" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T05:51:37.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3599" CreationDate="2014-04-29T05:57:03.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The dark thing inside are algae.  It is revolting and ends up making the water yucky.  I throw them away and replace them every month for two dollars at the dollar store, or throw in some McDonalds toys.  Very eco-unfriendly but I as a mom, I am an endangered species.  So are you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7567" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T05:57:03.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12312" CreationDate="2014-04-29T06:01:04.977" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry, I would move out.  Bullies are quite distressing, but if you have them INSIDE your home, the result is you do not have a place to call home, a safe relaxing, comfortable place.  Move out as soon as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7567" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T06:01:04.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12079" CreationDate="2014-04-29T06:08:19.813" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looks like she's laughing at your restrictions.  I am not against spanking but kids this age are total aliens to me.  Mi kids are still smaller and I shake when I anticipate their teens.  One thing is clear: you need to stop the disrespect before it goes uncontrollable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is homeschooling for a couple of months a possibility for you?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7567" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T06:08:19.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12355" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-29T06:11:33.573" Score="3" ViewCount="10220" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming indoor conditions (without sun and wind), at what temperature ranges (C and F) can infants (6-12 months) be left to play without clothes or in just a diaper?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bonus points for outdoors in the shadows with light wind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4027" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-04-29T11:25:19.693" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T18:47:56.203" Title="At what temperatures can infants be naked?" Tags="|infant|health|clothes|temperatures|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12355" CreationDate="2014-04-29T06:23:19.707" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughters loved to be in the nude when they were babies.  They giggled and wiggled like crazy and it was delightful to look at them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to temperature, follow your instinct.  Put your baby always on a blanket, because objects on the grass can vary from flowers to dog poop or broken glass.  I would say, choose a really warm day, one of these days when you would be sweating on a t-shirt.  Always choose a place in the shade and never leave the baby unattended.  Touch her skin all the time to feel the temperature of her body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7567" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T06:23:19.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12357" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-29T06:51:48.430" Score="8" ViewCount="105796" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a single mom to a very good 5-year-old little boy ... 90% of the time. About once a week, give or take, he has a meltdown and becomes violent (hitting, scratching, biting, throwing things, etc.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am desperate for help and started going to a counselor. She said I need to hold him until he calms down, but he doesn't calm down. I have been using the holding technique (I sit behind him and use my legs to control his leg and my arms to restrain his arms. I have to be careful how I position or he will bite or head butt me, he often spits in my face.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I finally had to spank him tonight. He would act like he was calming down and the minute I let go he would come after me and after about the fourth time he backed down and did a 5 minute time out. Then he is sobbing and wants me to comfort him. It seemed like the spanking worked better than the restraint and either way I feel terrible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But then after he fell asleep he woke up two hours later hysterical and violent again. This time I locked myself in the room. Today at counseling I was told to get a gate of some sort because she said it is not safe to lock him in his room. Now I am locked in my room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it ok to lock him in his room to protect himself and myself until he calms down? Please any help would be greatly appreciated regarding any of it. I am so scared and trying to cope alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7568" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-28T12:46:28.370" LastActivityDate="2022-02-07T07:12:39.107" Title="How can I stop my 5-year-old's violent tantrums?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|tantrums|violence|single-parent|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12357" CreationDate="2014-04-29T08:00:49.360" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You're not alone&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son also went through a phase of intense/angry/violent tantrums. I used various ways to deal with this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take him to his room to let him yell, kick, thrash about without hurting himself or causing concern. This worked well many times as he just needed to 'let rip'. I waited outside his room until he subsided and then knocked on the door to see if he was ready to talk. Eventually, he was, and we'd cuddle while he'd cry a little and tell me what was bothering him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Went outside, to a large park, let him thrash it out there. Less private than his room, but if the tantrum was escalating while shopping, it was a good option.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Physical activity. I've observed that boys need a physical outlet, whether this be swimming, soccer, trampolining, climbing trees or just running about. He always felt a whole lot better after burning off some energy, especially if I turned this into a game - &quot;I bet you can't catch Daddy&quot;... etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Smacking does not work. If my son was frustrated and unable to express his frustration, smacking his bottom was completely pointless.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;After&lt;/strong&gt; the tantrum subsided, talking about what was upsetting him and why he had a tantrum was very productive - it was often something quite small like I'd missed his request to do something and the opportunity passed by and he was upset that we could do that thing. After talking, I found it wasn't worth it to expect any kind of apology.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is hitting and biting you, I recommend that you calmly explain that hitting and biting is unacceptable and that 'it hurts Mummy' when he does this. It's unlikely he'll be happy or proud about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any influences in his/your life that may be triggering or compounding his behaviour? How is his diet? Does he watch aggressive/violent cartoons? Is there violence in the household from other siblings/family members?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T08:00:49.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12349" CreationDate="2014-04-29T08:04:51.953" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You're not wrong&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you're teaching them is great, but you must also give them the skills to understand that other people may not be as loving, kind or respectful as they are and that they'll need to be able to interact with those people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what you teach your children, some other family somewhere is going to teach their children differently and this may clash when your children meet. You can't always be there to mediate, so all you can do is empower your children to best handle any situation they may find themselves in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a separate note, bullying is always bad and should be reported as appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T08:04:51.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12357" CreationDate="2014-04-29T08:21:53.423" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I volunteer at ADHD and Aspergers syndrome vacation camps for kids. We hold raging kids and keep a rigid consequence structure that everyone follows (organizers included).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually after 2-3 everything calms down and the kids can have fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Holding is helpful to calm down a child but it does not fix the source of his tantrums. Write a contract with your child (I'm serious) where you state ground rules for each other. There are no exceptions to the rules. You can amend the contract but your kid has to take part in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The contract also has conditions for holding a child (e.g. when it beats other children even if they mock it) and when it can be released (usually after they count up to 10 slowly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It usually lists consequences for misbehaving and not keeping simple responsibilities. We use squats and holding as consequences but sometimes it backfires at us as some kids are starved for contact and misbehave just to get someone to hold their hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't use spanking and we always have someone around to help in case of an emergency. It's hard to get other kids out of the room when you are holding one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reach out to someone that lives around and have them as backup. It's hard to keep a kid in place when you are a fit man, let alone a woman.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to spanking... all camp staff signs a contract where we explicitly state that we will not inflict any violence to the children. This is pretty much self-explanatory as we personally can be sued but the org itself cannot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also get some abused children and it's terrifying how deep scars it can leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing we do is that we ditch using negations and verbs when commanding. Some ADHD kids are distracted pretty much all the time and telling them &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Pen on table&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if far more successful than &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Could you please put down that pen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget adding some rules for fun stuff and gratification too. This is great for encouraging help around the house and keeping homework under control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, &lt;strong&gt;seek help&lt;/strong&gt;. If your counseling is not satisfactory reach out for second  opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bottom line is that your kid has to know that you are in control of everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone questions your decisions in front of him it pretty much destroys your creditability and the sense of stability. Don't argue, just delay the critique until you are sure your kid cannot overhear it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7570" LastEditorUserId="7570" LastEditDate="2014-04-30T10:24:11.787" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T10:24:11.787" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12355" CreationDate="2014-04-29T11:22:05.547" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The skin area-to-weight ratio is highest for newborns and decreseas as children grow. They lose heat faster than we do, but they also absorb external heat faster. Therefore, when the temperature's relatively high ~25C but the sun is shining brightly it may be OK to leave the baby to play naked. However, the same ~25C in shade may be much too cold for an infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Indoors, I'd say minimum between 25 and 30 degrees. It also depends on humidity - the lower it is, the faster the baby loses heat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are certain the baby'll be cold, don't let it be naked. If you're uncertain, but the temperature's decent, let the baby play for a minute and check if it's cold. Do it again after another 5 minutes. And after 15. And so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's little harm in leaving the baby for a while even if it turns out it's too cold. Arguably, it may make them ill with cold - but children sometimes get cold regardless of our attempts to &quot;protect&quot; them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So just stick to your instincts and remember to check on your LO from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T11:22:05.547" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12349" CreationDate="2014-04-29T12:09:28.673" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're teaching them how to be good people, and that always rocks (because doesn't it seem that sometimes there's a deficit of good people around?).  But you also need to make sure that they know their own worth, and that being kind and nice to others is NOT a license for others to treat them poorly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We teach our kids sympathy and empathy for others, and to stand up for those who are being mistreated.  But we also teach our kids that they do NOT have to be nice to someone who is not nice to them.  Instead, we have given our children permission to ignore or not be nice to those who mistreat them.  They don't get to ESCALATE, but they do get to say things like &quot;I don't care what you say about me, I don't care what you think,&quot; things like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid, they told us to be the bully's friend, that the bully had a bad home life and just needed a friend.  It never worked for me.  What worked for me, and so far works for my kids, is standing up to the bullies.  It is not my 5-yr-old's responsibility to fix another child's home life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;A few weeks ago, the bullies targeted my 5-yr-old and her best friend.  The best friend punched one in the stomach when he poked her in the eye, and mine mooned them in the cafeteria when they went after her.  Not the response I would've chosen, and we have since come up with some verbal retorts to use instead, but it was effective.  Those kids have not said one mean thing, or done one mean thing, to either child since.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T12:09:28.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11949" CreationDate="2014-04-29T16:42:54.370" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For my very young children who don't understand what sex is, I explain that rape is touching swimsuit areas - parts of our body typically covered by swimsuits - without permission.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T16:42:54.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12357" CreationDate="2014-04-29T17:15:25.680" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A simple swat on the butt can work quite well to get the child's attention. I have a son who suffers from ADD (not ADHD) and learning disabilities. As a child we went through more than our share of frustrating moments. I also have a teenager who is bipolar. Experience has taught me a few things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't put the child in their room. There are too many things for them to do there. Put them in time out where you can see them. Give them a minute for each year of their age. Start timing them when they settle down. They might spend ten minutes pitching a fit. Maybe put a stool in a hallway or the most boring place you can find.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids often throw fits for attention (albeit negative, they do get attention). If you can be outside, let him be on a grassy area or someplace where he can't hurt himself or you, then ignore him until he calms down. If nobody is paying any attention to his tantrums, they might not happen so often. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Calmly let him know that you are the one in charge and the you make the rules, not him. Give him some say on rewards for behaving well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set a date so you two can spend time together doing something he wants to do. If his behavior gets in the way, then it is his loss and he will learn to look forward to his fun times with Mom, even if you are just making cookies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't plead or bargain with him. There is a reason why boot camps work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Mom gave all of us kids a very wise piece of advice: &quot;Always remember that your child came to live with you, not the other way around. Children adapt very well to their surroundings, so by all means vacuum at nap time.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my bipolar son, we found that his ups and downs were affected by certain foods. We try to keep his diet as additive and sugar-free as possible. Now he is studying culinary arts. Things will work out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7577" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T11:43:00.997" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T11:43:00.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12355" CreationDate="2014-04-29T18:47:56.203" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the baby is old enough to be toddling around and there is a warm breeze, mid 70's Fahrenheit. Infant, upper 70's, shade, warm breeze. &#xA;I would always keep a receiving or other light blanket around. If the baby has goose bumps, put a t-shirt or onesie on the child unless they appear to be just a random thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7577" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T18:47:56.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11562" CreationDate="2014-04-29T19:02:25.100" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always made sure my kids knew they had their own spot for sleeping. If I put the child to bed and for some reason they did not fall asleep, they usually came in to our bed (or at least our room). Some of my kids were much better at falling asleep on their own than others.&#xA;Sometimes I would let a child fall asleep in our bed and then move them. Some kids have anxieties about something happening at night. I always enjoyed falling asleep holding my baby. They are only small once. &#xA;Sometimes it works to give the child a space in your room so they can be near you. I never forced my kids to sleep in a separate room. If they needed to be close, so be it. My kids are all well adjusted now, so I have no regrets about the way I raised them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7577" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T19:02:25.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12357" CreationDate="2014-04-29T20:12:35.317" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is the attention you are giving your child that creates problems like this. What if you had 10 children? Would you be focusing so much about some random tantrum? He is only doing it because you are reacting to it and he can exert some control over you by doing it. If you  stop reacting to the frivolous behaviors of some child, life will become much simpler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as property damage is concerned, the best bet is to move breakable things out of reach of your five year old.  Otherwise they are likely to get broken even by accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastEditorUserId="6411" LastEditDate="2014-05-01T20:20:43.267" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T20:20:43.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12314" CreationDate="2014-04-29T20:29:51.107" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pay no attention to the psychobabble about such things. Everyone has a different way of thinking and the proper thing to do is to adapt to whatever the child is capable of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mind has two basic functions: ordering and grouping. Children who are heavily focused on ordering may seem to be defective to you because they pay no attention to you. It is a mistake to think this. Just because the child does not pay attention to you, does not mean something is wrong with it. In fact, I wish I paid less attention to my parents. You should also not assume that the child does not &quot;hear&quot; you, if they do not respond. It is one thing to understand, another to respond. With a child that is a linear thinker, an orderer, they will focus on only one thing at a time. Trying to get them to do several things at once is a mistake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T20:29:51.107" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12357" CreationDate="2014-04-29T21:32:26.307" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've gone through that same issue with our 4 year old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It hasn't been any one thing, but a mixture of things that has brought the problem under control.  I'll go over what worked for us and maybe it can help you out.  It's important to note that none of these things was an overnight success, it took time for us to get us to a point where we are now (and a lot patience and a lot of time).  Going over the email proofread it, I think it comes down to consequences and rewards.  Our guy responds well to that, as long as we find the right carrots/sticks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing was to stop him from watching any tv show with violence.  Depending on your viewpoint, that can be either an &quot;are you serious?&quot; moment or &quot;duh!&quot; moment.  Our little guy was picking up on what was on the screen and on channels that were for 'kids'.  For us, the lightbulb didn't go off until he saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and starting using their moves against us when he was mad.  Also, his general style of play became more rough (he'd do all kinds of Turtle moves against his playmates). After losing that privilege (and explaining it to him why there are no more Turtles and some of the other shows he liked), that form of tantrum has almost disappeared.  He still acts out the Turtles sometimes, but only in a play setting and not nearly as rough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he'd throw his toys at us or around the house, I'd explain he had lost that toy and march him to the outside garbage can and have &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; put the toy in the garbage can.  For our guy, it has to be outside for a sense of finality, otherwise he'd try to get it out of the trashcan.  He did get selective about what he'd throw, but then I shifted the penalty to another toy I knew he'd like, explain what was going on and go through the same process.  The throwing stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We held him too when he was going through the rages and that seemed to work pretty well, but like you found out, our guy tried to fake his way out of it, so I'd keep him wrapped up until I was extremely sure he was ok and then I'd let an arm go and see what happened.  Sometimes, he'd try to hit me again, so I'd grab the arm again and start over until he was really calm.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spitting we dealt with differently.  We kept a squirt bottle of water on the counter and when he'd spit at us, I'd grab it and give him a squirt (on the forehead, mouth, chin, but not eyes or nose) and that stopped pretty quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A strict schedule helped too.  Our guys needed a framework he was familiar with, so he has a routine and knows what happens when we get home, what happens before dinner, what happens after dinner, etc  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my SO and I another important part was no arguing/yelling/etc in front of him.  He'd watch that behaviour between us, imitate it when he was mad, and say &quot;that what mommy/daddy does&quot;.  He still knows when there's disagreement, but sees us talking 'calmly' about the problem and seems to be emulating that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, we're able to tell him that if he's going to have a tantrum he's going to his room until he can calm down.  Sometimes that stops him, but sometimes not, so we put him in the room, close the door, wait for him to quiet down and then go in to talk to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To offset all of the discipline, we are very quick to praise him when he does something correctly or bring up he hasn't had a tantrum this week, so we'll go do something special that he likes.  The nice part about that is that we can use that as a goal and say that if he acts well for x days, we can go do something fun.  The flip side is important though and if he messes up, we won't do the special thing he'd like to do.  He's a lawyer-in-training, so he tries to get the reward and skip the punishment, but we're clear that no means no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7580" LastActivityDate="2014-04-29T21:32:26.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3971" CreationDate="2014-04-30T02:10:35.190" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For our guy, he had always been given a taste of our desserts, but when he got to the point of refusing everything unless it was a dessert (around the same age), we stopped the desserts cold turkey.  He was not happy about it and there were a few days with him crying, pouting, screaming, etc.  No matter what, we didn't give in, although we know it would have made him happy.  To be fair to him, we stopped having desserts in front of him, until he went to bed.  After a while, we re-introduced a dessert, but this time, it's fruit or if he's been especially good, he can have a sugar-free popcicle (we still don't have our dessert in front of him).  We try mix it up though; sometimes it's food and sometimes it's his favorite show.  The big win is the shift in mindset from an expectation to a reward.  The big thing is not to give in or the battle becomes more and more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7581" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T02:10:35.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12376" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-30T03:58:52.803" Score="3" ViewCount="2667" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15 month old has started pulling her diapers off after she goes to the bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could this be a sign that its time to start potty training??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7582" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2014-04-30T16:33:16.557" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T16:38:25.223" Title="My 15 month old has started pulling her diapers off after she goes peepee or poopoo" Tags="|potty-training|potty|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="753" CreationDate="2014-04-30T03:59:03.947" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use a timer and go every 30 minutes, take your child to the bathroom and sit then on the toilet. It helps them. Also encouragement! Don't focus on the times that there was an accident, focus on the times they used the toilet. Stickers or something special as a reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7582" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-04-30T12:50:47.657" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T12:50:47.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12378" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-30T04:37:29.093" Score="5" ViewCount="1203" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 17 months old. We've recently started potty training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was wondering from other parents, how long does it usually take to fully potty train a little boy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7582" LastEditorUserId="13162" LastEditDate="2023-05-25T22:28:23.957" LastActivityDate="2023-05-25T22:28:23.957" Title="How long does it usually take to fully potty train a little boy?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12379" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12380" CreationDate="2014-04-30T04:53:39.997" Score="11" ViewCount="981" Body="&lt;p&gt;I notice a lot of 'money for good behaviour'-type development question for kids here, and the main argument is some permutation of 'giving money for good behaviour does not help develop intrinsic motivation'.  I also noticed a lot of 'moderate( ie. limit duration ) video gaming'-type questions too.  The two led me to creating this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up on video games, RPG's mostly, and I can honestly say that my intrinsic motivations come largely from video games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'll never give up!&quot; - is a hallmark of any video game protagonist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I can do even better!&quot; - is also characteristic of protagonist and comes naturally from levelling up and what not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It all depends on the games they play; I learned a lot of math from my games and even managing funds and about saving money from RollerCoaster Tycoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's value in video games, so should it be moderated( ie. limited in duration )?  I'm leaning more towards &quot;supervised&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7583" LastEditorUserId="7583" LastEditDate="2014-05-01T03:55:46.683" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T12:39:28.870" Title="Do all video games really have to be moderated?" Tags="|video-games|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12379" CreationDate="2014-04-30T12:12:46.943" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a fellow gamer, have been since I was 6 years old. I've played shooters when I was 8 (NES), violent bloody 3D shooters like Duke or Quake when I was 10, mature-language, violent and also bloody fallout when I was 12, and hundreds of various pegi-18 games after those. I'm not a murderer, I'm not particularily violent, I've never tortured an animal, etc etc. In general - I think I turned out fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In spite of all that, I'm going to pay attention to what my children play and how they do it. In case there's a hint of excess aggression or any other game-inspired negative behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So definitely supervise&lt;/strong&gt;. Try to play with your kid and try to &quot;point&quot; him in the right direction, which is working on improving your skill in a particular game and not reacting negatively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Whenever you feel it is necessary, react&lt;/strong&gt;. And moderate. It's your right to do so and it's better to be safe than sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If by moderated you mean limited in duration, then I think that it should be done. Mainly because small children will spend all of their time playing, completely neglecting any chores, homework, playing outside with friends - virtually neglecting everything else. Some people let children play only on weekends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;personal thoughts, no real scientifical justification:&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;I'm a strong supporter of a strong distinction between computer game world and a real world. Ten or twenty years back the distinction was pretty strong with &quot;bad&quot; graphics and all, but now the border between real and game world is getting blurrier and blurrier. Make sure your child plays games which are clearly &quot;not true&quot;. The world has to be totally different, sci-fi, fantasy, cartoon-like - so that there's no confusion between reality and virtual reality. I will not permit my kids to play games like GTA, Call of Duty or Battlefield simply because they look much too realistic. Where there's a strong unrealistic setting (Quake, Skyrim, Jedi series) there's no confusion and I think these games are safer to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-04-30T16:49:42.670" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T16:49:42.670" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12290" CreationDate="2014-04-30T15:53:57.667" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The discomfort could be caused by gas. Gas can result from improper digestion. This can be due to a congenital lack of a particular enzyme or from other causes, such a failure to produce sufficient amounts of bile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try nursing the baby naturally for two weeks, without feeding the baby any man-made substances. Does the problem still occur?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, it is a probably a medical issue, as another answer has pointed out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T15:53:57.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7537" CreationDate="2014-04-30T16:27:29.007" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 in half and he had his tongue clipped today. He has been in speech therapy for 3 months before surgery.  After his surgery his tongue was still num and as we was leaving Cody was eating a red popsicle and I noticed he was bleeding so I rushed him back inside. Cody was bitting on his tongue eating it. I didn't know what to do . So I popped my boob in his mouth so he would suck and not bit down. Cody breastfeed till he was 2 so he likes it. If this happens to you. 1st thing no red or purple popsicle so you can determine if he is bleeding 2nd keep him sucking And make sure if he goes to sleep he or she is not bitting on tongue.  Hope this helps. I am taking it min by min.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7587" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T16:27:29.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12378" CreationDate="2014-04-30T16:32:58.290" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only answer you can really get is &quot;as long as it takes&quot;.  Every child is different.  I know boys who trained in a weekend, and boys who took months or even years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the difference has to do with whether you wait until the child is completely ready (physically and mentally).  17 months is early-ish, though certainly some children to train that early.  Is he able to sleep through long naps (2hr+) with a dry diaper afterwards?  How often does he have a dry diaper in the morning after sleeping through the night?  If the answer is 'yes' and 'sometimes' or more frequently, then he might be physically ready.  If you try to train a boy who's not physically ready, it's going to take much longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of it, also, depends on your approach.  Some people believe in the 'Underwear full time' method (where you just stop using diapers and let him figure it out); some don't.  It's a lot of work for you for a while, especially if you're wrong about him being physically ready, because he will have a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of accidents for a while - even the most ready children will take a few days at least.  It's also mentally stressful for the child, if he's not ready mentally and/or physically.  On the other hand, it's probably the &quot;fastest&quot; method.  The arguments pro/con are similar to the 'cry it out' method of sleep training, though much less extreme - almost always the fastest option, but more stressful if the child isn't ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, what do you define as 'fully'?  Zero accidents?  That might be years.  Able to pee reliably, but still has #2 accidents?  That's very common for a while.  Able to be okay during the day but needs pull-ups at night?  Extremely common, even to 4 or 5 years old for some children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T16:32:58.290" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12376" CreationDate="2014-04-30T16:35:55.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It could be.  It could also be a sign your 15 month old is interested in this new thing she knows how to do, or simply that she's aware the diaper is uncomfortable.  It's a good sign that she's aware she has gone, but the bigger part is the ability to hold her pee for a period of time.  If she usually has a wet diaper after naps, she's likely not ready yet.  15 months seems early to me for potty training, but every child is different, and I've heard earlier.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(For that matter, in less developed countries it's common to potty train extremely early - as early as 6 months - so who knows.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T16:35:55.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12376" CreationDate="2014-04-30T16:38:25.223" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It could be, however 15 months is quite early. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Potty training is all around the child's awareness that they are about to have a bowel or bladder movement, which takes a fair amount of learning whereas what you are describing is a dislike of the sensation after these have happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could encourage your child to come to you rather than remove the nappy themselves. This would still work, and would certainly help to minimise mess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T16:38:25.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12387" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12411" CreationDate="2014-04-30T19:02:22.703" Score="6" ViewCount="8556" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 year old son has ADHD. He has some severe issues with focus and memory. We've tried various things to help him focus and remember but they all seem to arbitrarily stick or fail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now he constantly leaves the toilet seat up. With a mother, a 1-yr younger sister and a toddler in our house it's become a somewhat serious issue. I'm wondering what the healthiest, smartest, most sensical means of teaching him to either not raise the toilet seat or to at least return it to closed would be?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6920" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-05-02T14:11:57.543" LastActivityDate="2014-05-04T15:05:55.873" Title="Teaching my 10 year old son appropriate bathroom manners" Tags="|teaching|middle-childhood|adhd|manners|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12388" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12390" CreationDate="2014-04-30T19:54:31.187" Score="9" ViewCount="3840" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 15 year old daughter who just signed up for Facebook. No, I don't plan to friend her, but my wife and I do plan to ask her to see what's going back and forth, from her and her friends. (On occasion, not often, and not making a fuss over it)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The day after she signed up, she got a friend request from a friend's mother, and asked me how to respond. I think that she should reject the request, and feel the invitation was inappropriate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question - Is it appropriate for an adult to want to friend her teen's IRL friends, or is this a bit out of line? It strikes me as a bit creepy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update - daughter agreed to put her account on a private setting, and I'll work with her to verify it's set. She reported back that multiple friends have other friend's moms following, so I'll admit it is less creepy than I originally thought. Now I just think these moms need to be less in their kid's faces. I appreciate the feedback here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3706" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-17T20:32:26.150" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T20:32:26.150" Title="Social media etiquette - adults friending child's friends" Tags="|teen|internet|social-media|etiquette|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-04-30T19:59:28.133" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are seats that come down on their own, like a slow spring, it's down a few minutes later. I would not put this kind of emotional pressure on a 10 year old, even without ADHD. But for your son, I'd choose very carefully what to make an issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3706" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T19:59:28.133" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12388" CreationDate="2014-04-30T20:09:33.153" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not everyone is familiar enough with social media to make the best educated decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may very well be that the friend's mother wants to add her daughter's friends as a way of keeping tabs on her daughter's online social activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think this an unreasonable approach, although it doesn't guarantee that she'll be able to see any inappropriate behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The privacy functions on Facebook, while crude, and far from actually providing privacy, have some flexibility.  It is not difficult to hide posts from people you have friended (of course, the counter to that is that it is not difficult to see posts from a friend who is trying to hide posts from you... or even someone who &lt;em&gt;isn't&lt;/em&gt; your friend!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I'm not sure I understand the benefit of not planning to friend your own daughter.  Is this intended to allow her some privacy, so she can feel like you trust her, or is it to spare her any potential embarrassment from having her parents listed as &quot;friends&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is to give her some space and independence, I'd suggest an alternate route: friend her, and then go over the privacy settings with her, and show her how to hide posts from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having her listed as a friend is helpful if one or both of you use the site with any frequency.  The private messaging alone might justify it, plus it &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; become a healthy outlet for you to strengthen your relationship with her (yeah, that might be a stretch with a 15 year old... but it &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; happen!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More importantly, though, it is good to discuss safety and privacy with her, so she is aware of what is and is not possible, what general best practices are, and what the risks might be.  Presenting this dialog in the context of &quot;here's how to hide stuff from me&quot; shows that level of implicit trust you may be trying to convey, plus makes the whole conversation very non-confrontational.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also use the friend's parent as a demonstration example: have your daughter accept the friend request (which will likely make a better impression on the mother than ignoring, declining, or blocking the request!), and then go through changing the settings to hide the friend's mother's posts, and hide your daughter's posts from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In either case, be sure to emphasize that none of the privacy settings in Facebook are fool-proof (I'm not sure if it still is the case, by one easy way to bypass restrictions was to send a friend request; until the other person expressly rejected it, the request would give you access to content as if the request had been accepted).  Discuss social engineering scams, the possibility of people impersonating people she actually knows, what happens if someone else gets access to her account, or one of her friends' accounts, and the possibility that she might some day have to show her account to a potential employer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you aren't aware of all of these things already, look them up and familiarize yourself with these very real risks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure she understands that the only way to keep information truly private on Facebook is to not post it there at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T20:09:33.153" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-04-30T21:22:15.743" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a person with ADD, I can tell you what helps with me. Post-it notes! Put a post-it note or a bright colored sheet on the wall reminding everyone (don't single him out) to &quot;Please close the toilet seat when you have finished your business&quot;. Bright colors! I use neon yellow post-its to remind me of things I have to do consistently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-04-30T21:22:15.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12393" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-04-30T22:36:14.840" Score="13" ViewCount="10622" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has been lying and stealing from us as well as someone she called her BFF. We give her consequences and she continues with her stealing and lying. Recently I found out that she was cutting and I am so very scared for her and don't know what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am trying to get her into a counselor but they don't take my insurance. I know she loves me but lately it seems as though it's a big struggle to keep her on the straight and narrow and she is in danger of being held back in school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now her punishment of grounding doesn't even seem to be working and she is up to 2.5 months grounding from different offenses, it's like she doesn't care!! What can my husband and I do to turn this all around?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7590" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-06-02T03:44:41.353" LastActivityDate="2018-04-01T00:32:04.283" Title="How to deal with my teen daughter who is stealing and lying?" Tags="|discipline|teen|parents|conflict|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12393" CreationDate="2014-05-01T03:08:13.170" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Therapy is the best thing to do in my opinion.  Your profile says you are in California, so there are clinics available and if she is suicidal to the point of attempting it, taking her to a hospital is actually the best way to go. (That may sound odd to those not &quot;in the know&quot;, but when I was suicidal, that's where I went and they hold you until they take you to the mental health facility to ensure you are safe.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NOTE FOR NON-UNITED STATES PERSONS:  This advice is only relevant in the United States and may vary for your locality.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grounding for 2.5 months might as well be 2.5 years... after a certain amount of time, it all seems like forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kudos for trying everything you can think of and seeking other means without trying some of the less productive methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know for myself and my daughter that going to a therapist is quite expensive and the therapist doesn't take any form of insurance, so it can be a true challenge.  Fortunately, those clinics do exist and my experience is that contacting the local authorities for advice is a good place to start because they will move you to the department best suited for your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you and your family the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T03:08:13.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-01T03:24:44.693" Score="49" Body="&lt;p&gt;Am I the only person who thinks that it's entirely trivial for the next person to use the toilet to correct the seat position for their needs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see why this is worth complaining about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just teach your kids to make sure the seat is where they need it to be so that they can do what they need to do, and leave it at that.  The whole &quot;men must be the only ones who move a toilet seat, women are incapable of doing this&quot; thing is a subtle and often overlooked gender equality issue that we as a society should stop perpetuating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7593" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T03:24:44.693" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12398" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-01T07:16:23.147" Score="16" ViewCount="1430" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been trying to teach my 3 and a half year old son to treat other children nicely and to try and resolve all conflicts without aggression, by talking. We've been talking about the issue and agreed on a couple of rules. Namely, that he should always wait for his turn to play with things and that instead of fighting his way through a conflict he should talk to the child he's arguing with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once we get to the playground, I can see him trying to follow those two rules, but he fails each and every time. Even if he waits for his turn to play, others in front of him fight over who gets to go first. If he builds something and somebody is messing up his thing, he first says that he didn't like it and then, when it doesn't help, he slaps them or hits them with a toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, the other day he was digging a large hole in the ground when some other boy came up to him and started filling the hole up with sand again. My son tried telling him to stop and that he didn't like that, but that boy ignored him and continued filling up the hole. So, my son ended up hitting him. I have always disapproved of such behavior, but I keep thinking that it is tough for him, because I cannot really think of a reliable way of resolving these types of conflicts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I'm telling my son not to fight and to try and resolve conflicts by talking, what I can I do if other children either don't listen to him or show him that fighting is perfectly normal? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I teach him to react if other children ignore his efforts to resolve conflicts peacefully?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3260" LastEditorUserId="4877" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T06:22:42.303" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T02:12:12.713" Title="How can I teach my son to behave nicely in the playground when other children make it hard?" Tags="|behavior|social-development|conflict|aggression|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-01T09:52:39.860" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While not speaking directly to this specific issue, I have found that this Reddit does a wonderful job of explaining ADHD to the non-sufferer. As an adult survivor of ADD, and having an ADHD child myself, I can say it resonates strongly with us and reflects our experiences quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Patience and acceptance go a long way, and being willing to examine and change your own habits is essential. It's a relationship. Enjoy the many glorious qualities ADD brings to a personality and make allowances, where possible, for the foibles that come along too. :D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/16joxj/people_with_adhd_what_adhd_is_like_how_does/c7wnp37&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/16joxj/people_with_adhd_what_adhd_is_like_how_does/c7wnp37&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7597" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T09:52:39.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12393" CreationDate="2014-05-01T10:27:56.960" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well this kind problems are most difficult for every parents. But i would insist you to take her out somewhere for few days &amp;amp; spend quality time with her, at the same time make her realize how important is she in your live. If she still behaves in the same manner like now then it is better to force her to see a counsellor to help her to get rid of these tendencies, where she can lead a straighter life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6509" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T10:27:56.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7235" CreationDate="2014-05-01T10:43:27.133" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well most of the kids follow tactics of not eating or chewing solid food. But with time they learn the same for which you need to take the initiative of eating some of his food by properly chewing it in front of him, through this way your kid will get inspired &amp;amp; if he still continues his old habit, then it is better to be little strict with him by not allowing him any type of food for some time. Let the kid grow craving to have food then he will automatically start chewing the food to the fullest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6509" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T10:43:27.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-01T10:50:01.247" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe one of the original points about putting the &quot;seat&quot; down (actually the entire lid) is so that it doesn't spray stuff everywhere when you flush. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you flush, polluted water vapour escapes and takes ages to settle - and there are probably things in any bathroom you don't want all those germs on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr Charles Gerba PhD did a &lt;a href=&quot;http://ag.arizona.edu/media/archives/6.11.html&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt;&#xA; on this which is often quoted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In 1975, Gerba published a scientific article describing the phenomenon of bacterial and viral aerosols due to toilet flushing. When this aerosol of contaminated water is ejected into the air, it lands on everything in the bathroom, including your toothbrush. According to Gerba, this isn’t just another scare tactic to get men to put the top down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;During the study, gauze pads were placed around the experimental bathroom. Close-up photos of the germy ejecta, according to Gerba, looked like “Baghdad at night during an air attack.” The study showed that significant quantities of microbes floated around the bathroom for at least two hours after each flush. Gerba discovered that a lot of virus fell on those gauze pads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With this in mind, I would encourage your son to put the lid down each time (and the rest of you for that matter). Maybe you could invest in a small reward scheme that your other children can take part in as well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7598" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T10:50:01.247" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12398" CreationDate="2014-05-01T12:04:07.483" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your son has learned an important lesson, you cannot resolve all conflicts without aggression.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What I can I do if other children either don't listen to him or show him that fighting is perfectly normal? And how should I tell him to react if other children ignore his efforts to resolve conflicts peacefully? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you need to tell them what to do when talking doesn't work. Since you seem to be against &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; fighting to resolve conflicts, even self defense, you need to tell your child to ask a higher authority to resolve any conflicts that he is unable to do peacefully with words. This might entail calling upon you, a teacher, or in very serious issues the state. All three of you have various powers to resolve issues, peaceful and otherwise. You can protect your child, or find the parent of the child who is behaving badly and inform them of the issue. Teachers can remove students who are causing problems on the playground. The Police and other State agents have the legal authority to resolve conflicts forcefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Whichever route you choose, no doubt your child will learn another valuable life lesson.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3054" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T12:04:07.483" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12393" CreationDate="2014-05-01T12:18:01.013" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take all of her things and throw them is storage.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, these sort of lessons work better on much younger kids. A very real way to illustrate  that people don't like their stuff taken, is to take all her stuff. You can choose to return it in 2.5 months if her stealing doesn't persist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lying is a very difficult problem to solve. The benefit of lying is that it protects you from getting punished sometimes when you have done something wrong, but the authorities cannot verify that you did it. I have never found a good solution to prevent kids from lying to their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for her cutting and possibly being held back in school, is this a sudden change in her behavior? Perhaps there is a issue that is occurring at school or at home that she isn't telling you about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3054" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T12:18:01.013" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12379" CreationDate="2014-05-01T12:39:28.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, you should limit video game time.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would assume your goal as a parent is to make your child self sufficient, and that you don't have plans to support your child forever. (&lt;strong&gt;Note&lt;/strong&gt;: If you are independently wealthy and your children are going to inherit a substantial trust fund, this advice doesn't apply.) Video games as well as other forms of amusement would dominant the majority of most people's time if all of our needs were being provided for by somebody else, which is likely the case in a parent-child relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child likes to play video games, you can encourage good behavior around the house by requiring all chores, homework, etc. are finished before they are allowed to play. Additionally, you might introduce them to &lt;a href=&quot;http://scratch.mit.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Scratch&lt;/a&gt;, Basic or Excel programming, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.raspberrypi.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Raspberry Pi&lt;/a&gt; or other programming tools that can develop a child's love of games into a useful skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3054" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T12:39:28.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12388" CreationDate="2014-05-01T17:28:29.390" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I personally only friend teens who I'm relatively close to (or would like to be closer), like my nieces and nephews, and would &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; encourage a teen to accept a stranger's friend request, I don't see a problem with accepting an adult acquaintance's friend request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think our society has suffered somewhat by keeping children mostly segregated in their age groups.  Children can learn a lot from friendships with adults, and vice versa.  How can we teach them how adults should behave in a social network if they don't have the opportunity to observe good examples?  That broadening of experience is one of the reasons we homeschool.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just keep basic safety precautions in mind.  If the interaction starts to become creepy, make sure to do something about it early.  However, all media alarmism aside, the chances of that are relatively small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, this is a good opportunity to teach her to be assertive about her own preferences.  Social networks are supposed to be fun and comfortable.  It's not rude to ignore a friend request.  If she doesn't like the idea of reading a person's updates, and doesn't like the idea of someone else reading her updates, for &lt;em&gt;whatever&lt;/em&gt; reason, she shouldn't feel obligated to accept the request, whether from an adult or another teen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, likely part of the dilemma is that due to her inexperience, she probably doesn't know if it will be a positive experience or not.  In that case, there's nothing wrong with giving it a trial to see if she likes the interaction.  There's nothing wrong with unfriending someone or hiding their updates if it turns out not to be a positive experience for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T17:28:29.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-01T17:49:06.577" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wish my parents had taught me to pee sitting down whenever possible. Only in my early 20s did I realise that it was the best way to keep the toilets clean, and also more respectful of everyone I was living with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a short piece at &lt;a href=&quot;http://mamasoncall.com/2013/03/why-boys-should-pee-sitting-down/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mamas on Call&lt;/a&gt; on the topic, and a funny comic at &lt;a href=&quot;http://theoatmeal.com/comics/peeing_sitting_down&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Oatmeal&lt;/a&gt;, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe there is still time for your son to be taught these facts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7610" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T17:49:06.577" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-01T22:47:42.057" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;To agree with several of the above non-answers, and actually answer the question, as posted:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;the healthiest, smartest, most sensical means of teaching him to either not raise the toilet seat or to at least return it to closed would be&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;...to be a good example.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the several reasons already mentioned about gender roles, health, toddler safety, etc, just follow the simple rule that the toilet seat AND LID ALWAYS stays all the way down and closed.  When you arrive, lift the amount of lid/seat that you need to, and when you are finished, close the entire lid/seat again. EVERYONE does it the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as your ADHD son, teaching a habit of putting things back where he found them in the first place will be a lifelong, useful skill. It will save him a lot of trouble by preventing lost items, school work, etc -- both his stuff and other people's, including yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7620" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-05-01T22:47:42.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12412" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-02T03:06:53.723" Score="3" ViewCount="249" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has been in a big boy bed since 14 months. He started jumping out of his crib at will and it scared us a little, so we got the big boy bed and were amazed! He loved it. He never got out at bedtime he was so proud of getting to sleep in his bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two weeks ago, when he learned how to open his bedroom door the game has changed. He will come open his door (with baby locks on them) and run out laughing. I can put him back 100 times he will keep doing it. I have held his door closed physically for 40 min and he never gave up, even when I know he is so extremely tired. Before this, he was never difficult to get to sleep for the night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is making me very frustrated, and it's starting to hurt my feelings.  Why is he doing this, and what can I do to solve this problem?  I'm not sure if it's because he knows he can get out of the room or what changed. When he does go to sleep FINALLY he sleeps all night and doesn't wake up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7623" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-05-02T14:10:29.983" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T15:17:03.987" Title="20 month old boy quit staying in his bed at bedtime" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-05-05T19:49:56.510" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10922" CreationDate="2014-05-02T05:11:06.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you may be overlooking the possibility of her beginning the teething stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most obvious way to get them sucking is to help them learn to enjoy a dummy. My almost 6 month old son has finally taken to the dummy after ~5 months of spitting it out. As a result I &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; he complains less and has gained stronger suckling power, making feeds quicker in the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've also used teething gels such as Calgel (I think) and given him various chewing toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're certain it's not related to teething, another option is to wait until your baby is truly hungry - not just &lt;em&gt;ready&lt;/em&gt; for their next feed - distract them if you need them to stop crying and they aren't hungry enough yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep attempting to give the bottle to your baby and if they refuse to take it stand up and walk around with them so it's clear you're not trying to feed them, and then after a short while go back and try again. And repeat, until she manages it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incorporate some positive reinforcement into the situation such as &amp;ldquo;Yeah&amp;rdquo; with a big smile whenever they open their mouth with intent or make a positive move towards sucking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby will easily learn, once motivated by hunger and aware that the bottle is the only option. &lt;em&gt;Unless there are some other health or development issues&lt;/em&gt;. As with anything, have a chat with your doctor about it as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4877" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T05:11:06.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12412" CreationDate="2014-05-02T10:50:17.610" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is what worked for us. We feared our rambunctious little boy would get up in the middle of the night and try to open the door to go outside to play in the yard (happened), or try to climb on something unstable (has tried that in the daytime), so we turned the door knob around on his room and lock it from the outside.  We have an IP camera in his room so we can see what he's up to, and it's a simple push-button lock so opening from the outside is not an issue (we keep one of those keys for popping that button open on the doorsill inside his room, so we can't get locked in).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first couple of nights he was a little hacked that he couldn't just get up and walk around the house at all hours of the night, but after that he settled down and chilled.  And we can sleep at night knowing he won't be going outside to swing at 3 a.m.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he's a bit older, and potty training at night (probably in the next year or so), we'll turn the doorknob back around.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T10:50:17.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-02T12:13:48.530" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm always amused in these discussions, where women take the view that men are &quot;at fault&quot; because we leave the seat up. Excuse me? &lt;em&gt;I'm&lt;/em&gt; responsible for you not watching where you're putting your butt? I never even heard of this &quot;issue&quot; until my girlfriend gave an anguished squawk one morning and &quot;accused&quot; me of leaving the seat up. My response? &quot;Yup. So?&quot;. This was &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; mentioned to me growing up. NEV-ER.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several options here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chastise son about leaving toilet seat up ad infinitum.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach son to always sit on toilet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let son pee all over toilet seat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look before you sit down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow me to suggest that option (4) is the most reasonable. You really &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; want him to do (3), you're unlikely to manage to teach (2), and (1) is totally pointless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, there are some things you want to take responsibility for, and apparently having the toilet seat in the correct position before sitting down is one of them. Guys sit down too sometimes, and y'know what? We make golly-gosh-darned sure that the seat is down! It's not rocket science! You do not need an advanced degree or special training of any sort! You look at the toilet. You note the position of the seat. You &lt;em&gt;change&lt;/em&gt; the position of the seat if it's not where you want it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look before you sit. Learn it, live it, love it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your mileage may vary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Share and enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6398" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T12:13:48.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-02T14:36:18.070" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beyond the &quot;consideration for your family&quot; angle, try taking a health approach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order for you to smell something, little particles of that something must be floating around in the air and drift into your nose, for you to detect it. That means if you can smell poop or pee, poop or pee is drifting through the air.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, a 10 year old boy is probably not going to respond to &quot;it's better for your health&quot; arguments, but he just &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; respond to &quot;You don't want to dry your face in your pee, or brush your teeth with your poop, do you?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to him how smelling works, then give him the &quot;do you want to rub poop on your teeth&quot; talk. It's all about talking on their level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7635" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T14:36:18.070" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12412" CreationDate="2014-05-02T14:38:14.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (now 33 months) was very similar.  He's only in the last two or so months really gotten 'over' this completely, but we had a very similar issue around 2 where it seemed impossible to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, no matter how careful you are and no matter how good of an approach you have, you're going to have some failures.  There will be nights when he is wild and going all over the place.  That's part of parenthood, and you have to accept those - and not take them as a comment on your parenting skills.  Sometimes kids have days where they just are impossible, and that's okay - focus on learning to accept those and learn coping methods rather than expecting miracles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our coping method on those days was, largely, taking him back downstairs to play some more.  It sounds like it's giving in, and in a sense it is; but it's also admitting that perhaps we made a mistake trying to put him to bed earlier.  Or, maybe, he just needed a push of the 'reset' switch - which I think often was the real answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We spent long enough upstairs that it wasn't an immediate reward for wildness, and if he did go downstairs it wasn't to play with us - if he wanted Quality Time, it was in a calm bedtime ritual and not in playtime - but sometimes we just gave in, and I think that's okay.  If he's running about and making everyone miserable, don't try to force it.  This is a phase and he will learn to control it, over time.  Ours took about six months to completely stop having these, but since about 27 months we haven't had anything like that, and since about 30 months he has been able to go to bed with no problems at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How we got to that point was pretty stressful at times, but it was also pretty simple. We stuck to a ritual:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change diaper/PJs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brush teeth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lie in bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turn of lights &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sing songs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these had to be done calmly - any wildness during any stage ended that stage until he calmed down.  All of these things he enjoys and wants to do (thanks, fake sugary non-fluoridated toothpaste!), except for the lie down bit of course, and so it was fairly easy to wait for calmness.  In particular, the rule with singing was always that he had to be lying down - songs stopped if he sat up or stood up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, we tried to get him to have some choice in many of these things - that increased the buy-in.  He picks his PJs, he picks his books, he gets to turn the light switch (it is over his bed), he picks the songs.  We also got from Grandma's house an old turtle light (one of those sort-of-stuffed turtles with a plastic top and holes in it, that lights up the ceiling with a bunch of stars, and plays music).  He gets to turn that on, right when the lights go off.  That helped a lot - not sure if it was coincidental with other improvements or if that was a specific help, but things improved a lot when that was introduced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, we stopped trying to deny him 'delaying tactics'.  For a while we would aggressively deny delaying tactics, such as a drink of water or similar things that from other kids I've known are generally short-term delaying tactics.  I think now that he used these as comfort/control elements.  Perhaps potty training will be complicated by the water, but now that he has a cup of water near his bed, he stands up, has a drink, and lies back down easily.  Allowing him to feel he is in control of the process really helped a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, we started paying attention to his sleep schedule more.  He no longer takes naps unless he needs them - about 1 day out of 2.  Days where he's obviously tired, he naps, other days he doesn't; that's okay, and it makes bedtime work better.  We also are careful not to put him to bed before he's ready.  10pm bedtimes are common, especially on nap days, but that's okay - he's getting enough sleep, and that's what's important.  And if he had a really wild day, we gave it an hour or so, and then went back downstairs.  Maybe we were wrong about his tiredness, or maybe he needed a reset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, at 33 months, he goes to bed most nights with zero trouble, and in fact usually asks to go to bed before we tell him he has to.  I don't know how much of that has to do with what we did above, and how much is just maturation; but I know that doing all of that helped us survive the really stressful periods.  We tried a lot of what you said in the question - holding the door, putting him back in the room over and over again - and none of it helped.  I think that holding the door probably hurt some, as it took away control from him of the situation, so he was more stressed out by the process.  When we stopped doing that, not too long after the really really crazy periods stopped.  Being more at peace with our child's behavior, and not trying to hammer him into the square hole he obviously wasn't, is what ultimately helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T14:38:14.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12412" CreationDate="2014-05-02T15:17:03.987" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to second @Joe's discussion of strict routine - it's hard to overestimate how important that is for toddlers (and how well it works!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem with getting up at insanely early hours of the morning &amp;amp; coming in to our room. The other thing that helped with us was setting limits. Our older son is now almost 5, but this started as soon as he figured out he could open his door. We got him a digital clock for his room and set some strict limits - &quot;don't open your door unless you see a 7 here on the clock&quot;. It took some time, but he has mastered it and now, on the rare occasions that I get him up a little early (usually because his little brother has started crying), he asks why we're getting up when the clock doesn't have a seven!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7206" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T15:17:03.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12419" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-02T16:08:40.597" Score="2" ViewCount="709" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old child wakes up after about 6-8 hours of sleep which I think is normal. I get up around that time to pick up the house, study for school, and then I head out to work. When he wakes up, his mom is still sleeping, so he climbs up into her bed and tries to wake her up and asks to breastfeed. She tells him:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feeding is only before you go to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's too early, go to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Raise her voice back at him irritated, and they both have this argument.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Combination of 1, 2, 3.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what to do right now. I always wake up instantly when my child wakes up. I feel horrible sleeping in. I'm always tired too. But when I started exercising, I had a lot more energy, so after I wake up now, I recover faster, and I'm quickly energized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question would be how do I approach my wife without offending her? There could be a number of factors making her so tired, but she has always slept in though. Here is what I know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breastfeeding drains all her energy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not exercising for 4 years has put a toll on her, thus her energy level declined&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's under a lot of stress from school that's why she sleeps more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She needs a break that's why she's quick to snap&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every person has a varying threshold for stress. I try to remind myself I'm going to school like her, working at our job, then after I come home, I spend the rest of the day with my child, so she can decompress. It's 12+ hours a day. I'm completely drained, but I remind myself how exciting learning from my child is to keep me going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do admit I spend less time with her, but I make sure to spend at least 1-2 hours a day with my wife. I know this helps her know that I care, and I do love her. But maybe this is one of the reasons? I make sure she and I have at least a day to ourselves most of the weeks. She always comes back home looking more energized when she does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking into different approaches, but if anyone knows of some practical advice specifically for this, please share your experience. I want to know how to talk to my wife about the situation and not offend her for not waking up early or quick to lash out at our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: I noticed one thing that helps out a lot is when she and I are reading parenting books. It always refreshes what we don't know and keeps us on our guard. I picked up another parenting book, and I am reading it and explaining to her different ways to go about the situations. I know when I do, I can see her chance dramatically. I know she wants to do the best for our son, that's why when I read about parenting and share what I learned, it reinforces what her and I should be doing and eases everything. Bottom line, I think the frustration stems from not knowing what to do in the given situation and expecting our child to be able to comprehend given his 3 years on earth what had took us over 25 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7639" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-03T12:38:28.253" LastActivityDate="2021-01-20T05:21:49.963" Title="How do I help my wife be more engaged with our child in the mornings?" Tags="|toddler|parents|communication|bedtime|mother|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12420" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-02T17:50:36.673" Score="3" ViewCount="3903" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter will be turning 8 in a few days, and I have been unsuccessful in trying to get her to stop crying when she becomes frustrated. Examples are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is currently in dance and takes 8 classes a week, which she&#xA;loves. She believes she is excelling in all classes, which she is,&#xA;however if there is a time when the teacher teaches a new step and&#xA;she can't get it within the 1st few minutes, she becomes frustrated&#xA;and cries....&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In gymnastics, she takes a semi-private class with her best friend&#xA;who has been in gymnastics for 5 years, and she cries every single&#xA;time when the teacher is showing her how to do an Arial and her&#xA;friend can. She still continues with all classes and does stop crying&#xA;and continues to work on the steps. I have explained that her friend&#xA;has taken so many more gymnastics classes than her and that she will&#xA;eventually get it if she continues to work hard at it, because she&#xA;always ends up learning anything that was hard, the more she&#xA;practices.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter seems to be a perfectionist, she stands out in her dance classes and the teachers seem to really take an interest in her, however when she cries she loses focus, but still carries on with the class and then stops crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have talked to her several times about it, not sure what else could be said to her in order to have her learn to deal with frustration in a different manner rather than tears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7640" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-05T12:28:50.237" LastActivityDate="2019-05-05T12:28:50.237" Title="How to help my 8-year-old daughter cope with being unable to execute something new other than crying?" Tags="|middle-childhood|crying|emotional-well-being|sports|coping|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12420" CreationDate="2014-05-02T18:25:21.197" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, I wouldn't be too concerned about the crying.  It may simply be her reaction to stress - the stress of trying something and having trouble with it.  It sounds like it's not carrying on and on crying, just limited-in-time crying.  Very, very successful athletes cry when they fail at something; have you seen the then-viral picture of the gymnast crying after the past (2012) Olympics?  That's extremely common for highly successful people, many of which are indeed perfectionists.  It's okay, as long as it's not interfering with their lives or activities - or their social life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in terms of what you can do, consider focusing on effort rather than, or in addition to, performance when you give her praise.  Praise that she gave a good run at something, rather than only that she actually achieved it.  If she stayed up all night studying for a test, praise that - before the test results are known.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, continue to push her to try things she's bad at.  Some kids (myself as a child included) enjoy earning praise for being good at things that they focus strongly on things they are good at.  I was terrible at sports, and wish I'd been pushed harder to spend more time doing sports as a child - because as an adult it took me a long time to learn to cope with being bad or mediocre at something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're excelling in almost everything, it is indeed hard to understand how to deal with not instantly understanding everything.  She should be encouraged to do things she's not strong in (in addition to the things she enjoys/is good at more) so she can develop that.  Encourage her to try things that are outside of her comfort zone, and praise her for trying them.  Learn a totally new sport, play chess, start running in marathons.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T18:25:21.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-02T20:08:12.320" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be consistent.  Rather than making the toilet a &quot;special case&quot;, focus on teaching your child to close things he's opened when he's done with them.  If you open the fridge, you close the door when you're done.  When you open the door to go outside, you close it when you've gone through it.  If you open a jar of pickles, you close the lid when you're done.  If you open the valve that makes water come out of the faucet, you close it when you're done using water.  And when you open the toilet, you close it when you're done - by putting the &lt;em&gt;whole lid&lt;/em&gt; down, not just the seat.  If the toilet is not in use, it's not open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach the women in your house the same thing. ;)  &quot;Open, use, close.&quot; is a pattern that can be applied to pretty much everything, and consistency is key to retention. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7644" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T20:08:12.320" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12423" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-02T21:06:38.563" Score="2" ViewCount="290" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 25 and I babysit my cousin occasionally. I like puzzles (a good deal) and I have since I was a child. My cousin is old enough (6) to know this too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My older brother sometimes looks after my cousin and will sometimes be stumped by the puzzles my cousin will present him (more like riddles, I guess, like &amp;quot;What gets wetter as it dries&amp;quot; kind of stuff), so my cousin often presents him with new puzzles every week. My brother doesn't seem to mind too much since he can answer most of them. My younger sister is not a fan of puzzles at all (she says they're too conniving, which I can't disagree with) so if he presents her with a puzzle, she actively does not solve it and encourages him to tell her the answer instead of solving it herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I've been doing mental gymnastics since I was a kid, and if he hands me any puzzle, I immediately know the answer (he's getting his puzzles from books I used to own). When he was younger, I would only solve the &amp;quot;hardest&amp;quot; puzzles, i.e. if he came at me with a puzzle rated with four stars our of five, I would solve that one, and if he came with one with one or two stars, I would encourage him to tell me the answer. That's how my dad got me into puzzles when I was young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not ever solve puzzles without walking him through the steps (unless he tells me the answer first and the answer is correct). It worked for a while, but he caught on to the ratings really quickly and now he only brings high rated ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I can't get him to do the puzzles himself (or sometimes I can't get him to work on an easier one that would help him learn to solve the hard one). For example, he came to me with a 5 star puzzle that I could water down to a 2.5 star puzzle. I changed the puzzle to be as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sophie: &amp;quot;Someone ate my cookies! I wanted that for later! Who was it?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Person A: It wasn't me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Person B: It wasn't A or D, I saw!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Person C: But I didn't eat it either!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Person D: Person C is telling the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only one person is lying. Who ate the cookies?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem I watered it down from had about ten people (and altogether is really long so there's no point in posting it). This puzzle is something he can absolutely solve on his own, but he won't do it. Instead he complains that I'm not being fun or I'm not helping him. If I solve the puzzle he gets annoyed that I'm not helping him and if I walk him through the steps he complains that I'm not letting him think. If I ask him &amp;quot;What do you think we should do first/next/now?&amp;quot; He says, &amp;quot;You already know the answer, so it doesn't matter.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the above puzzle, he knows (and has stated) that the key to solving it is that &lt;strong&gt;only one person is lying&lt;/strong&gt;. But if I ask him, &amp;quot;Which person is telling the truth?&amp;quot; He says, &amp;quot;You already know so it doesn't matter.&amp;quot; But he doesn't seem to be saying it in a happy way, like it's a joke? He seems upset. He'll happily solve puzzles with my siblings or my parents, even though my dad is more of a puzzle beast than I am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really do love my cousin and I'm glad he likes puzzles too, but I can't get him to solve them on his own if I'm around. I think it's because I know most of the puzzles in his books, but even buying him a book that I didn't once own hasn't changed this behavior. I don't want to stop solving puzzles with him, but he seems to just get more and more stubborn about not solving them with me. Is there something I can do to make him feel more comfortable solving puzzles with me? Or should I stop solving puzzles with him altogether?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I put the answer to the puzzle in a spoiler tag if you're interested in it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote class=&quot;spoiler&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt; Only one person is lying. If A is lying, then B is also lying. If D is lying, then C is lying and if C is lying, then D is lying. And if B is lying, there is more than one cookie eater. That means the liar must be Sophie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7645" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T04:23:52.747" Title="How do I help my cousin solve puzzles with me without being upset?" Tags="|problem-solving-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12423" CreationDate="2014-05-02T22:43:09.867" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I would suggest, from a parenting point of view, is to focus on the process as you have been.  It sounds like this is a classic case of &lt;strong&gt;rewarding effort&lt;/strong&gt; versus &lt;strong&gt;rewarding success&lt;/strong&gt;.  Your cousin is focused on the goal (getting a solution) but isn't sufficiently satisfied by the process.  Assuming your goal is to teach him problem solving skills, continuing to focus on the process is the right way to do it.  Maybe you're just in a rough patch and in a few months or a year he'll get over it and figure out whatever magical thing he was missing that is frustrating him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, the assumption that your goal is teaching him problem solving skills may be worth questioning.  I don't know your relationship, how often you see each other, etc., but perhaps the right role here is to treat these more like joke books.  At that age, that might simply be the more fun way for him to interact with you.  Solve the puzzle for him, going through the steps, Don't worry about being Socratic; just show your work, but do the work yourself.  Showing him logical reasoning often enough may be sufficient for him to pick it up, particularly if he's doing the easier puzzles himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, to the comment specifically that he only is this way with you - consider whether you're coming across as condescending when you do it.  Again, I don't know your relationship, and don't want to comment on that or your personality, but perhaps if you are asking it in this manner he's interpreting that not as teaching but as being condescending, and doesn't react well to it.  Kids can pick up on things like that pretty easily, and even if you're trying to teach them in a way that might work well with an older kid, or a younger kid, sometimes the maturation process brings them to a point that a different method is needed.  This was a common problem for younger-me, in particular in my 20s, and something that I still have to pay attention to: there's a fine line between helpful teaching and annoying teaching, particularly in kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-02T22:43:09.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12419" CreationDate="2014-05-03T04:23:57.960" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, props for still breastfeeding your 3-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding early wake-ups, I'm not &lt;em&gt;quite&lt;/em&gt; in that boat, yet (my wife and I have an 11-month-old daughter, and as a stay-at-home mom, she does all of the night-time duties).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're both doing your best as far as the research and coping mechanisms for difficulties such as this, but the only real way to address the issue is to have a &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;calm&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; conversation with your wife about your concerns, and what you can both do (as a couple) to address the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's going to be pretty tough to open without coming off as accusatory, but you will have to trust that your wife is open to discussion and (light) criticism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're really worried about coming off as offensive, you can simply ask her &amp;quot;What do you think we should do about [name of your child] waking up so early and bugging you? I know it's been bothersome for you, and I think we can find a way to handle it.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7649" LastEditorUserId="40076" LastEditDate="2021-01-20T05:21:49.963" LastActivityDate="2021-01-20T05:21:49.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12388" CreationDate="2014-05-03T04:33:45.793" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on the parent, and her relationship with her kid's friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a teenager, yet, but I worked for 6 years as a middle and high school music instructor, and have had students add me over the course of those years (I had created an alternate account for this, to provide separation from my &quot;professional&quot; life activity and personal life activity). For some students, their parents didn't have a Facebook account, and for others, their parent(s) added literally every one of their child's friends to their own account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One specific instance of the latter was a VERY community-involved mother who had a highly communicative relationship with her daughter, and her friends. She added everyone on Facebook as a means of keeping in touch and disseminating information about events and get-togethers (admittedly, I'm from a small town in PA. This kind of thing seems less common in more populous areas)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you aren't comfortable with it, you can tell your daughter that you aren't comfortable with it. If she came to you for guidance, then she clearly wasn't immediately comfortable, either. Ultimately, if you're leaving the control of her own social network in her hands (not even adding her as a friend to monitor activity), the best you can hope for is that she asks you for your opinion, you provide it, but make it clear that it's her decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, she seems like a pretty smart cookie. If you haven't done so, already, give her a crash course on unfriending people, blocking people, and encourage regular friend purges (every few months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7649" LastActivityDate="2014-05-03T04:33:45.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-03T05:59:28.653" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two step solution:&#xA;1) Everyone puts the seat and lid down&#xA;2) Everyone shuts the bathroom door &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OR&#xA;Get a lid lock for your toilet seat &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OR&#xA;Put a baby gate across your bathroom doorway &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7577" LastActivityDate="2014-05-03T05:59:28.653" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-05-03T05:59:28.653" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12428" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-03T14:54:05.060" Score="4" ViewCount="61408" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a three year old son who is just awesome.  He is advanced intellectually,  loving, and he seems very empathetic.  He does extremely well in daycare (it is at least an above average daycare), and most of the time at home at well.&#xA;&lt;em&gt;However&lt;/em&gt;, there are times when he becomes - for lack of a better word - unreachable.  He'll start climbing on his mothers head; run around the room; throw things; etc - and all this would be tolerable to some extent if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There was any way at all of getting him to listen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He responded to requests to stop.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His behavior was not accompanied with what sounds like maniacal laughter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A typical episode plays out something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He starts being disruptive beyond what I will tolerate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I go through various stages of firmness in disciplining him as his behavior continually worsens.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I  threaten him with the loss of something (I always keep my promises) to no avail.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eventually I take him to his room.  I stand outside holding the door as he tries to get out (he doesn't know I am holding it).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He starts throwing anything that has weight at the door or kicking the door or opening and slamming his trifold closet door.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eventually I realize that unless I intervene, his room / stuff / body will be damaged and I go in the room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Usually I still haven't lost my temper (but I'm getting close), and I go in.  I sit on his bed with him, and hold him as gently as I can while attempting to keep him somewhat still (I hate this and it seems wrong but I see no alternative) while he alternates between laughing and crying hysterically to let him go, &quot;you're hurting me&quot; (I'm not), and if I let him go, well - one time I said 'if I let you go, are you going to hit me?'  He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, 'Yes!'  (I regret to say I was not able to stop myself from laughing)...  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This all continues for a long time until he gives up sort of - and I do my very best to have him get why he was put in his room in the first place and that daddy loves him and is not mad and it is not ok to do x, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And his behavior has greatly improved in many aspects - until he becomes &lt;em&gt;unreachable&lt;/em&gt;.  Whatever happens over their with him when he is in that space seems beyond my powers to interrupt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for having this become workable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7653" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-05-03T19:56:02.493" LastActivityDate="2021-10-08T12:22:35.113" Title="Discipline hyperactive 3 year old" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12429" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-03T15:56:58.223" Score="15" ViewCount="10100" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was growing up, my mom taught me that if someone hit me, I was supposed to fight back with all I had, and there was no such thing as fighting fair. &quot;Don't stop until an adult &lt;em&gt;pulls you off of them&lt;/em&gt;,&quot; she would say. Luckily, despite being a pretty nerdy and solitary creature, I never had an encounter with the &quot;school bully&quot; outside of words exchanged. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But since I was also pretty skinny and not particularly physically adept, this actually gave me a bit of confidence about a conflict actually happening; I might not be able to get someone to stop by punching them in the nose, but damned if I wasn't going to scratch, bite, jab, and gouge as much as I could muster to even the playing field.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, I was also taught to ignore bullies in general and tell the teacher when possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that I'm older though, I'm wondering if there's a better, perhaps less violent lesson I could teach my kids one day. What are some people's opinions or personal experience about teaching children to defend themselves? I know Karate and such is a good extracurricular activity, but what about for kids that simply aren't interested?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7654" LastActivityDate="2017-03-01T15:09:18.343" Title="Teaching children how to fight back" Tags="|fighting|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12429" CreationDate="2014-05-03T17:24:47.130" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;What we have always taught our kids is the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;avoid fights where possible&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if can't avoid it, try to ensure it happens in view of an adult/teacher and make sure it is obvious you were only defending yourself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try and avoid hurting the other person too much - focus on blocking and defence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where we had problems with a bully at the kids school, after this had gone on for a while, and repeated complaints to the head had not reduced the bullying, I informed them that my child was no longer restricted to blocking, and would take the other child down hard. I pointed out that I had had my kids in Taekwon Do lessons for many years by this point, and I knew they could easily hurt others which is why I had asked them to go down the defence route first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So to summarise:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get them martial arts training - it's good for fitness and self defence, and they can roll out the attack when needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(you should see the pics I have of my daughter at 5 taking down a whole host of boys at a competition - much to their surprise)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-05-03T17:24:47.130" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12428" CreationDate="2014-05-03T17:51:46.223" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many teachers, including Special Ed teachers, are trained in a particular method of holding that is not unlike what you are describing in your step 7. When a child is unable to control himself, he may need to be firmly held until he settles. My sister, who teaches Special Ed, described to me an incident when she held a child for quite a long time until she felt his body settle, then she talked to him quietly about what behavior she expected from him when she let go. As she let go, he immediately hit her, which she understood as his way of saying he was not ready for her to let go. So she held him longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a brief decription of restraint process from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/reference/article/extreme-behavior-intervention-methods/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;education.com&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Holding an Out-of-Control Child (Restraint)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Occasionally a child may lose control so completely that she has to be&#xA;  physically restrained and removed from the scene to prevent her from&#xA;  hurting herself or others. Physical restraint and removal from the&#xA;  scene should not be viewed as punishment, but as a means of saying,&#xA;  &quot;You can't do that.&quot; An adult should hold the child with just&#xA;  sufficient strength to protect the child or other children and help&#xA;  restore calm. With the child facing away from you, wrap one arm around&#xA;  the child's arms and your legs around the child's legs to prevent the&#xA;  child from hurting you or herself. Cup one hand behind the child's&#xA;  head to protect yourself from a possible head butt to your chest or&#xA;  chin. Before you begin this action, try to notify another adult (in&#xA;  the room or in the office) that you will be forcibly holding this&#xA;  child. This second adult can provide back-up protection to you and the&#xA;  other children as well as provide a witness to your action being&#xA;  carried out appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Adults provide the control in a calm, non-punitive manner, using a&#xA;  soothing voice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Carey, I'm going to hold you close so you won't hurt yourself or&#xA;  anyone else. I will let you go when you are calm and ready to talk.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are trying to picture this, picture it with the two of you sitting on the ground. You may find the whole article a worthwhile read, as there may be ways to short circuit the behavior before it gets out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-05-03T17:51:46.223" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10922" CreationDate="2014-05-03T18:44:39.550" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the same problem and corrected it. Let me give you the insights I learned during this process and some things I tried to get the biting to stop, which it eventually did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The gums rise significantly before the teeth come out and affect the way a baby latches (to a bottle or breast).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At 6 months the baby starts eating more solids, which means they need less milk. If you wait for the baby to ask for the breast (they will nuzzle their head) there are much fewer bites.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the baby bites, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; remove the breast and say &quot;ouch&quot; loudly. They'll learn...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I also tried every kind of bottle out there. While we previously used Tommy Tipee with success, after her gums came up she wouldn't take it anymore. It turns out that MAM was the only one she really liked.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breast pumping equipment is really hard to get 100% clean - around this time I bought a new falange and hose set.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bought lots of teethers and generally were a waste of money, she liked only two: Sophie the giraffe and a teething ring with silicone textured beads.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She never really took a dummy... we bought every single last kind and all a waste of money.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As another poster said, make sure the flow is right for her age.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also, have the doctor check out her mouth to make sure she doesn't have a lip-tie, tongue-tie or other physical issue. This is when we noticed out baby had a little lip-tie.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7061" LastActivityDate="2014-05-03T18:44:39.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12428" CreationDate="2014-05-03T20:14:12.627" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, do not threaten. A three year old is just not good with &quot;if you ..., I will ....&quot; Instead, do something as soon as things are past a limit. Single word directives like &quot;no&quot; or &quot;stop&quot; or &quot;enough&quot; can work (especially when you know they know the rules,) as can more specific directives like &quot;quietly&quot; or &quot;careful&quot; or &quot;gently&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have said &quot;get down from there&quot; and the child doesn't get down, moving to &quot;if you don't get down from there, no dessert&quot; is just not going to work. Instead, get up and take them down from there. Or take the item from their hand. You can be gentle, there's no need to be grabbing, hurting, or scaring anyone, but take some action. If at all possible, redirect at the same time - you can play with this instead. Again, don't be offering the redirection as a treat or reward to get them to change what they're doing - make them change what they're doing and then if they are upset about having to stop A, offer B.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to use logical consequences and to say why you are imposing a particular consequence. &quot;You are too noisy for the library and can't get quiet. We have to go so the others can have quiet.&quot; Repeat for grocery store, front lawn, etc. &quot;You are not treating these toys properly so they are going up high.&quot; (A shelf they can't reach.) &quot;You won't stop climbing on that, so I have to take you away from it.&quot; &quot;You need some alone time to get calmed down.&quot; Then the consequence is that you take them to wherever you need to take them. Most people don't recommend the child's room as a timeout or punishment location. They can't see you, you can't tell if they are calming down, and there's generally a lot of stuff in a preschooler's room that an angry person can make a mess with or even hurt themselves with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't use timeout, but we did take kids out of situations and say &quot;stay here until you feel more in control.&quot; We were generally nearby to monitor or to say &quot;no, stay there, you are not in control of yourself yet.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An unreachable child is just that: unreachable. They dislike it as much as we do. What you really want is to prevent that from starting, or to reduce the number of times it starts. That's why I'm recommending a change from the pattern that you're using now, replacing the threats with directives, and doing something physical to enforce logical consequences much sooner in the incident, rather than waiting until there's no hope and then taking a tantrumming preschooler to their room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some kids, it's easy for an outsider to see that what the parent is doing is ratcheting the kid up to a melt down. Thing is, for another kid, an entirely different set of parent behaviors would ratchet that kid up to a meltdown, and for a third kid once they start, they go no matter what anyone says or does. So don't blame yourself. I am not saying what you're doing is making your child melt down - I can't know that. You can look back and try to establish what a trigger was, and you can certainly set your lives up to avoid those. For my kids, if they ate late, all hell broke loose just as the food was almost ready. Keeping their blood sugar up was more important than anything else. But your kid may not be like that at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-05-03T20:14:12.627" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12434" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-03T22:28:28.417" Score="3" ViewCount="240795" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has just turned 3 months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently I have observed him drooling and sucking his fingers. He usually drools more after feeding and sucks his fingers almost all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this common or abnormal behaviour? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What might be the root cause and how can we break his habits?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="4877" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T03:26:43.250" LastActivityDate="2018-04-03T17:24:56.217" Title="Is it common for a 3 month old baby to drool and suck their fingers?" Tags="|infant|behavior|newborn|habits|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12434" CreationDate="2014-05-04T09:21:02.827" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Absolutely.  What you're seeing is entirely normal in babies, particularly around 3+ months old.  Among other things, he might be beginning to teethe; both of those things are associated with teething.  Drooling is associated with basically everything for many babies, and sucking on fingers (or thumbs or other things) is also very normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the drooling is truly excessive, you may want to talk to your pediatrician to ensure it's not due to a few particular causes (low muscle tone, in particular).  Otherwise, buy a lot of bibs, and put a bib on him at all times, over his shirt, or under it if over is a problem.  Make sure it's a safe bib (that cannot choke him).  Many bibs must be removed for sleeping, although I think some are safe(r).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T03:40:29.690" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T03:40:29.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12428" CreationDate="2014-05-04T09:34:51.217" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have a clone of my almost three year old.  Congratulations, you have a  strong-willed child.  Join the club!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend stopping putting him in his room with the door held closed.  That is the biggest mistake we made, and when we stopped doing it, things improved in fairly short order.  We also don't hold him unless he's causing significant injury (which is very, very rare), and then only for a second or two until he stops (usually, biting).  Both of these things are teaching him that physical superiority and physical, extrinsic control is the way to go.  Pretty much the opposite of what you want to teach him - to control &lt;em&gt;himself&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's impossible to avoid using your superior physical strength and size in some ways, at the end of the day you have to give him the chance to learn to control himself.  Time outs can do this for many kids, mine included - who had almost the exact same problems.  Tell him he needs to calm down, and that you're going to put him in a quiet area for a bit.  Set a timer, preferably an audible or color-visible one.  1 minute per year, so 3 for you, is usually recommended, though you could start with fewer to get him in good habits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, give him a book, or something similar, that he can focus on.  Yes, this will be &quot;fun&quot;, sort of; but no, it won't be truly fun (it's not like he can't have books at other times, right?).  What it &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; do is give him something to focus his attention on, and increase the chances of him staying in the time out.  For my son it became a ritual for a while - he's basically past needing it now, and goes to time out on his own, but for three or four months it was automatic 'Can I have a book' when we'd send him to time out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it didn't work perfectly immediately, it &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; work.  Probably 95% of the time now that he has a &quot;problem&quot; - hitting younger brother, hitting/biting mommy, etc. - he goes to time out and stays for the duration either right in his spot or close enough that we count it - and comes out calmer, not repeating the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those other (now, few) times, and for the more regular issues earlier, the biggest thing we did was teach him to say &quot;calm&quot; when he was out of control.  This works both for 'hyper' out of control and crying out of control.  It's basically a chant, like &quot;Ommm&quot;, but for a two year old, &quot;calm&quot;.  He says it, and then he gets calmer.  We might still have to restrain him briefly, but then we say 'calm', and he repeats it, and we can usually stop restraining him - and we're still teaching him to fix himself rather than rely on us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if time outs are already part of your bag of tricks and they just don't work, consider trying alternate methods for giving time outs.  Google around, there are &lt;em&gt;lots&lt;/em&gt; of methods, and perhaps one works better for your child.  I particularly recommend methods involving some sort of focus object, be it a book, a magic bottle, whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-04T09:34:51.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12439" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-05-04T12:25:25.183" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-05-04T12:25:25.183" LastActivityDate="2014-05-04T12:25:25.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12440" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-05-04T12:25:25.183" Score="0" Body="Psychological studies based on infant, toddler, and adolescent behavior or parenting techniques and disciplinary action. Appropriate questions should relate to a study or finding in a psychological study or should deal with wanting information about certain behavior or using parenting techniques based on peer-reviewed, scholarly research by doctors of psychology." OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T07:24:00.177" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T07:24:00.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12441" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-05-04T12:29:38.567" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-05-04T12:29:38.567" LastActivityDate="2014-05-04T12:29:38.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12442" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-05-04T12:29:38.567" Score="0" Body="A household where one or both parents earn money through a professional job, either working out of the house or home. Questions should be about balancing work life and home life. " OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T07:22:56.593" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T07:22:56.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12443" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-04T13:12:07.500" Score="1" ViewCount="194" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our infant does not appear to be well.&#xA;Based on spots around her mouth, hands and feet,&#xA;we suspect &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand,_foot_and_mouth_disease&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hand, foot and mouth disease&lt;/a&gt;.&#xA;We also think that she has a sore throat&#xA;because suddenly she doesn't want to breastfeed or bottlefeed or drink from a spoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We brought our infant to the pediatrician.&#xA;They told us that they suspect hand, foot and mouth disease,&#xA;but because the symptoms were not typical,&#xA;they gave our infant a blood test.&#xA;Besides diagnosing a painkiller (ibuprofen)&#xA;they did not give us any medicine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While awaiting the blood test results,&#xA;what can we do in the meantime to keep our infant fed and hydrated,&#xA;if she doesn't want to eat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastEditorUserId="4718" LastEditDate="2014-05-08T10:25:07.127" LastActivityDate="2014-05-08T10:25:07.127" Title="How to keep a sick infant fed and hydrated?" Tags="|infant|eating|sickness|drinking|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-04T13:47:41.070" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if this is age appropriate, but much of the advice I've received around teaching bathroom habits has been using prominently displayed picture schedules. You could easily adapt this to be focused on the behavior you want re-enforced (putting the seat down).  These seem to help a lot of kids that have trouble focusing and memorizing multi-step processes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/G6o1t.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastActivityDate="2014-05-04T13:47:41.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12387" CreationDate="2014-05-04T15:05:55.873" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my Son was about 5 yrs old and asked why put the lid down, I replied &quot;to keep the snakes from getting out&quot;.  &quot;Really Dad?&quot;  &quot;No Son, but it is fun to think of that way&quot;.  Lid has been closed ever since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7667" LastActivityDate="2014-05-04T15:05:55.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12443" CreationDate="2014-05-04T15:24:12.070" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We discovered that in spite of a sore throat,&#xA;our infant enjoys eating ice cubes.&#xA;We thus freeze milk or water into thin ice cubes&#xA;using an ice cube tray or a small cup,&#xA;and break it into small pieces to feed the infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a quote from an adult who tried this method&#xA;(see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kianryan.co.uk/2013/02/treating-a-sore-throat/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt;)&#xA;to treat his own sore throat:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For day-time relief, ice-cubes have been a thing of the Gods. Grab a&#xA;  pint of water, stick a dozen ice cubes in. Sip the water, suck on an&#xA;  ice-cube. The coolness helps to keep the swelling under control and&#xA;  the swallowing helps lubricate the throat. To me, significantly better&#xA;  than any boiled sweet or lozenge. Make sure you go via the water, lest&#xA;  you stick the ice cube to the inside of your mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our infant also enjoys eating cold foods&#xA;such as frozen blueberries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this is helpful to other parents in similar situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastActivityDate="2014-05-04T15:24:12.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11648" CreationDate="2014-05-04T20:52:26.783" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing you can do is to &lt;em&gt;enjoy&lt;/em&gt; being with him. That way you'll naturally involve him in your activities. Toddlers &lt;strong&gt;love&lt;/strong&gt; to help and be involved with mommy or daddy. The learning at this stage will happen as you two just do life together. Talk to him, hand him things, ask him to get you things, tickle him, roll around, hide under a blanket, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To bolster that, give him dedicated &quot;slots&quot; in the day where you read a book together or play with a couple of toys, just for his sake. Your day is bound to fill up with &lt;em&gt;to-dos&lt;/em&gt;, so you need to strike a balance. But, if he's involved in your day, and helping, parenting is a lot more fun and he'll benefit from morning till evening as you two do it together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; compare him with your perfect sister/colleague/neighbour whose child was walking at 8 months and plays the violin at 2. The most important things our three get is love and prayer and they are all flourishing. All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7671" LastActivityDate="2014-05-04T20:52:26.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12449" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-04T21:23:35.017" Score="6" ViewCount="197" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently watched an old film with my 2 year old (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075016/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;One of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing&lt;/a&gt;) and was aghast at the level of racial stereotyping in it. I like to show old films but I am not sure how to explain that social attitudes have changed since a film (books as well I suppose) was made. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment he is just too young to understand but I would like to be ready with a solid explanation when he does start to understand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It isn't just old films (The lone ranger looked pretty bad to me), but is substantally worse the older media is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to expose my son to a wide range of material but don't want him to learn bad attitudes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2972" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T03:48:45.683" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T03:48:45.683" Title="How to explain racial stereotypes in classic films" Tags="|media|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12450" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12845" CreationDate="2014-05-04T23:15:11.133" Score="1" ViewCount="4942" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have an 8 month old, who after a rough first few months has been sleeping relatively well for about 4 months now.  She consistently sleeps 12 hours at night, and has a regular day time nap schedule, and bedtime schedule.  She's generally quiet/calm during the day, and only really gets upset if she is late for a nap for some reason.  She usually falls to sleep after about 5 minutes of wind-down in the crib.  She has eaten before going to sleep her entire life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately, the past 2-3 weeks, she has been crying for about 2 hours about 20-30 minutes after going to sleep.  She seems to drift to sleep and wake back up.  At first we thought teething, but the timing seems off as two bottom front teeth came through without much crying already, and now it starts after when no others seem to be starting.  She had some possible light blood in her night-drool about 3 weeks ago, which we suspected the teething, but hasn't had it in a couple weeks now.  We tried the dr's ibuprofen, which seemed to help her fall asleep immediately but she still woke crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cry is generally different than her former cry, as it very loud and screeching, like she is in pain.  If we let her cry she does eventually cry back to sleep, but it has been taking hours.  The times we've checked on her with some rocking, it didn't do much of anything for her, nor does it help her sleep if she's returned to the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Curious of any thoughts what this could be or approaches to figuring out solutions?  Evenings have been rough again here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6814" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T18:22:54.790" Title="8 month old wakes up crying for 2+ hours after 30 minutes of sleep" Tags="|sleep|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12449" CreationDate="2014-05-05T03:47:35.787" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;At such a young age, there isn't a great degree of direct teaching you can do which will be effective.  Modeling appropriate behavior is very likely your best option.  When we see bad, rude, or unsavory actions whether on television, in a movie, or in our everyday lives, we can talk to our children and say, &quot;That was so mean.  I don't like that.&quot;  The nature of the derision adjusts as the child ages, but by expressing our own distaste in terms which our children can relate with, it is our views which are more likely to be adopted than the undesirable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the comment to your question, I'd like to reply to that as well: I was 100% absolutely, positively certain to teach my daughter from the earliest of ages the difference between reality and artistic presentations (e.g. cartoons, movies, books).  That served its purpose quite well.  For example, one time she was inadvertently exposed to a violent murder scene in a movie at a friend's house.  I went to talk to her about it and she simply explained that it was all fake and they used special makeup for it, but she didn't think that was a good use of makeup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T03:47:35.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12423" CreationDate="2014-05-05T04:23:52.747" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have written a complex question (let's say 5 stars).  Let me reduce it to 2.5 stars: How do I make playing games with a 6yo fun?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very fact that I reduce it implies I have an answer and that, in-and-of itself, can sound rather irritating -- if I understand the question so well that I can completely rephrase it, then I demonstrate I know an answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the balloon just deflated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He likes interacting -- that's why he will solve them with others.  What he doesn't like is the lack of reward for his success (when he solves them alone) or feeling like he is a pawn in a game you've already beaten (when solving with you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, he has already told you the answer to your question by presenting you with a puzzle -- I'll enjoy puzzles with others, but not with you or me, &quot;can you figure out why?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Peers.  Would you like to play a game of mathematics with Leonard Euler in the room?  A game of chess with Garry Kasparov?  You get the point.  Instead of presenting yourself as the master of the question (directly or indirectly), present yourself as a fellow pawn in the puzzle -- and do it sincerely.  When the problem is solved, take credit for &lt;em&gt;his and your&lt;/em&gt; contribution... be a puzzle-solving team.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a puzzle for the both of you to begin with: Take your favorite puzzle and make it trickier, the answer the same, and only that one answer to still be true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll find that by adding elements to a puzzle, it is a delicate handling to ensure no other answers are introduced.  It's also a different take from going from 5 to 2.5 stars... it's the reverse and, hence, a continuous challenge which I'd suggest you'll both enjoy doing together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, keep in mind something else: children change interests very rapidly.  6 months ago, One Direction was the one topic around my house... now it's something totally different.  Times change, interests change, and people change... as they say, change is the only constant (though the mathematician in me disagrees).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T04:23:52.747" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12454" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-05T11:54:40.010" Score="4" ViewCount="1342" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is now going to discuss possibility of induced labour with her doctor and we might need to pick up the date for delivery of our second daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first daughter is turning 4 in couple of weeks and we were thinking about setting their birthday on the same date. Another option is to have them separated by a week or a few days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an important decision with life-time consequences, and I am not quite sure what implications I should consider first. Perhaps anyone with similar experience in the past could share their view. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are my only kids so far (two daughters) and the only reason of having them born on same date is it may somehow make them feel unusual and stand out in a crowd in future. I am quite sure this is not a very good reason. On the other hand, I definitely don't want to do it only to simplify my life and making future birthday's party planning easier for me, I think they will have them celebrated separately anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it better to have birthdays separated by only a few days ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would very much appreciate your feedback, perhaps someone with similar experience could share their thoughts.&#xA;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt; after reading answers/comments:&#xA;Thanks a lot to all of you, it gave me opportunity to look at it from different perspectives which was the reason I asked the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I and my wife are feeling more inclined now towards &lt;em&gt;separate&lt;/em&gt; dates for B-day.&#xA;One extra reason for that are in details I left out initially : &lt;br&gt;&#xA;this is the first time our 4-year daughter is consciously anticipating her birthday party. We are expats, recently moved to a new country and she is still socializing, so we feel almost obliged to have a party(actually two) with her new schoolmates as well as one with her new friends speaking her native language. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;The important part : she and we thought her mother presence at the party could be very important and I think this will drive our final decision on the new baby B-day date.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;As expressed in answers/comments : our main concern again is health condition, so we will rely on doctor's suggestions, otherwise I see it as they will be separated by a week or so (ideally having delivery before the event for 4-year old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can post an update in a month or so with the final results in case anyone interested, otherwise, thanks again to all of you. I upvoted all answers as they've been very helpful.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I have troubles picking one as accepted though as most have a point that I agree with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7675" LastEditorUserId="7675" LastEditDate="2014-05-05T18:22:36.083" LastActivityDate="2014-05-06T06:13:40.873" Title="Pros/cons of having two kids' birthdays on the same date" Tags="|pregnancy|personality|birthday|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-05-07T21:08:07.457" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12419" CreationDate="2014-05-05T12:11:26.347" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to get an au pair to assist with the childcare and household duties to give your wife a break. Either &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pay for an au-pair,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use something like workaway.info to advertise for free room and&#xA;board in exchange for duties, or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try to encourage more involvement from family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we did this it was truly a marriage saver and our child really enjoyed the experience of another (younger) carer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7676" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-03T12:40:45.323" LastActivityDate="2019-05-03T12:40:45.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12456" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-05T12:43:26.150" Score="4" ViewCount="2793" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think sort of related: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4327/how-to-handle-a-mother-who-is-becoming-unkind-to-the-adult-child&quot;&gt;How to handle a mother who is becoming unkind to the adult child?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My grandparents live out of country (We live in Indonesia), and they decided to support my brother's college studies. My mother told my brother that after he gets a job, he should help me also get to college, and my brother agreed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After four years and getting a degree, my brother is still trying to get a good job. I decided to defer my enrollment for next year. In this time my brother got someone pregnant and is now having a family. Now I do not have anyone to support me for my studies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has gotten worse because now my mother is totally ignoring me and pouring all attention to her grandchild (who lives in our house most days). This is not jealousy, but mere pragmatism. She does not do chores anymore, and spends most money for my niece (her grandchild). It has gotten to the point where we (my father, I,) out right miss dinner, because nothing is prepared... (at this times we just cook for ourselves)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can't not have her not have the money (example we budget my father's salary) because she receives still considerable money from her parents. (my grandparents told me that they are willing to help me out on college, but only at unique times and not monthly commit compared to my brother, because they were disappointed too)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very stressed and sad right now. Now my mother does not want me to go to college (She says she should just keep the money for her old age). She is always telling me to look at my brother who got a job unrelated to his degree (he is now teaching singing). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am mainly sad because it feels that my mother is not supporting me both financially and morally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have big dreams and I do believe I am a hard working. In the one year of my deferrment I tried to work and even got a job (even though I was 17 at the time.) With the money I earned and saved everything I was even planning to buy my parents a cheap car. But because of our argument (about that I should not go to college) I am having second thoughts. In fact I am feeling a bit suicidal because it seems that my dreams are crushed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother is always telling us not to have s-x with and support our family first. But with my mother's actions I am now feeling that my brother did the right thing - he now has a family, a degree, a moderately good job. &lt;strong&gt;And my mother's favor&lt;/strong&gt;. While I am left without a plan, no support (even small things like having food prepared), and my dreams/actions constantly being shoved down at me (she says- if you have such big dreams why don't you go to college without my parent's help?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not even that expensive to make me go to college  because I have a full-blown scholarship (as I've said, I have big dreams and am academic. there would have been no way I got accepted to Google Summer of Code if I was 'mediocre', and the college I got accepted at was the top university in my country. I am not taking this to my head, but still, I have dreams)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there an ideal course of action for me? What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7677" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T16:37:50.313" Title="How do I deal with my mother who is not supporting me, probably because of her grandchild?" Tags="|adult-child|relationships|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2014-05-05T14:13:16.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the same day or within a week, odds are the birthday parties are going to be complicated in any event.  How often will the nearest weekend be the same day?  And then when you add in external activities it's even more likely they may have to be on/near each other (if it's in May, Soccer/etc. will often drive when you decide to hold the party).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should not primarily concern yourself with the worrying about birthdays and parties, and concern yourself with the health of the mother and the baby.  If you're scheduling inducing, schedule it for when the baby will be healthiest.  If that's the same day, that's fine.  Don't make the baby come out earlier or later than is appropriate just to try to put some space in between, or to make them identical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you're going to significantly harm them if they have the same birthday; I think they'll find it amusing, sometimes, and they'll find it frustrating, sometimes, because kids find &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; frustrating and amusing at various stages in their lives.  If they're very close, they might appreciate it; if they're not, they might dislike it but honestly they'll probably mostly just not care.  If they get their separate parties when they want to, and if they get separate cakes and ice creams and such, they'll be fine.  (Also, the four year age gap helps there - the older one will be 7 or 8 by the time the younger one gets any real party with her own friends, so there are only a few years where it's a big deal.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T14:13:16.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12419" CreationDate="2014-05-05T15:28:20.450" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your wife seems a little over taxed and just wants to sleep past dawn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What about a baby gate on the toddler's bedroom door to keep him safely in his room until you two are awake?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also maybe at three it's a good time to start weaning. The toddler gained all nutritional benefits from breast milk at this point and it would help with your wife's energy levels. Also if your son isn't immediately concerned with nursing when he wakes up he may be more inclined to play in his room until you guys get up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-03T12:39:26.423" LastActivityDate="2019-05-03T12:39:26.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2014-05-05T15:44:15.190" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two boy's B-days are 3 days apart  and my wife's &amp;amp; daughters's are 1 day apart. I recommend not using the same day. We make a big deal out of a B-day and the kids really enjoy having their own special day just for themselves. I think they wouldn't like to share this. Even one day apart works just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As other people said: Concerns for mother &amp;amp; baby should be primary concern here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T15:44:15.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2014-05-05T16:04:33.367" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you haven't experienced a shared birthday, it's hard to reason or explain about it. Certainly having birthdays just a few days apart has most of the same problems, yet without the &quot;cachet&quot; of the exact same day. I know two pairs of children in this boat: one pair is 4 years apart and one is 7 years apart (and those two were both adopted, which makes it even more surprising.) This can be something very special that they know makes them different, but especially when they're younger, they will think it is normal. It is so funny to hear a 5 year old confusedly ask somebody &quot;how can it be your birthday if it isn't your brother's birthday too?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether the same day or the same week, you will get sick of cake, you will have trouble coordinating the parties, and so on. But you can buy connected and shared presents (as many families do at Xmas) - Pirate Lego for you, Pirate Duplo for you - and you never have to deal with someone sulking because the other one is getting all the birthday fun. Both pairs of kids I know are proud of it and like to tell other people about it. If there's no health issue, I would say go for the same day and celebrate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T16:04:33.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2014-05-05T18:33:16.173" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother and I share a birthday, 3 years apart (by coincidence, not by our parents' choice). With all due respect to those saying that neither child gets their &quot;special day,&quot; I can attest that sharing a birthday with a sibling, particularly one close in age, does not make either birthday less valuable. Both kids will grow up accepting that their shared birthday is the natural order of things. Your four year old hardly has enough birthdays to remember what having her own is like—she'll adjust to the change quickly, and the newborn will never know the difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always enjoyed our shared birthdays. There's twice the cake, twice the friends, twice the presents! Our parents always made sure we both had a party we could enjoy. They also made sure one birthday didn't overshadow the other, even on the day I was born (my brother still got his 3rd birthday party at McDonalds and, from what I hear, had such a good time that he didn't really care that he had a new brother ;P)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure it took a little adjustment for my parents to have a shared birthday, but speaking from the kids' perspective, I can say I've never wanted my birthday on any other date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7681" LastActivityDate="2014-05-05T18:33:16.173" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12463" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12467" CreationDate="2014-05-05T22:25:52.907" Score="9" ViewCount="3933" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kid has been going through some fallback in school scores recently, and as a result, I've been monitoring and helping him to do his homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, everything goes smoothly, but sometimes, when he faces an exercise he doesn't understand at first, he gets terribly frustrated and tries to evade doing it as much as possible, even if I try to help, constantly arguing that &quot;it's too difficult&quot;, or even that I'm wrong (he is also in the mood of thinking he knows everything and his parents don't know a thing, so maybe it might hurt him when he is proven otherwise?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've considered the possibility that he would be just trying to &quot;play me&quot; to stop doing his homework, but I'm not fully convinced. It really seems to me that once he gets frustrated, he gets into a blocked state and all that remains is to be stubborn and drop the homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be the best approach to go in such a situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: he is 13yo. He changed schools about 1 year ago, and yes, homework has been getting harder proggresively throughout the year, but this has been ongoing and pretty consistent. Talking by heart... maybe once every week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT May 8th: Thanks all for the answers. I really do appreciate all of them. I will take very good note of them, and try to applying in the best way possible to overcome this challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7683" LastEditorUserId="7683" LastEditDate="2014-05-08T16:58:19.003" LastActivityDate="2018-05-09T11:30:21.660" Title="How to deal with homework/studies frustration?" Tags="|discipline|teen|homework|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12464" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-06T01:37:22.373" Score="10" ViewCount="2525" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter, since she was not quite two, has been fascinated with creepy crawly things. Spiders, snakes, etc. She has always liked dinosaurs a lot too. Over the last year though, she talks more and more about... Other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I swear every other thing she says follows the pattern of &quot;if you do X then Y bad thing will happen&quot;. She talks about ghosts and a man in her room at night, and she tells us about her dreams that are kind of eerie sometimes. She asks if it will be Halloween yet and has picked up a strong fascination with tornadoes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, she does have her girly side; her other obsession is kitties and she loves to dance and listen to Katy Perry. She also speaks and comprehends incredibly well for her age and has pretty intense emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't watch scary things with her or really talk about that stuff so we are just trying to understand... Why might our daughter be so into that stuff?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="anon" LastEditorDisplayName="anon" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T00:11:06.653" Title="Why is our three year old fixated on... 'Dark' things?" Tags="|toddler|development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5889" CreationDate="2014-05-06T04:32:08.803" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off congratulations for putting some thought into all the facets of the issue. I haven't read the other comments before offering this, so I am not sure of any other similar experiences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My late father and I shared the same birthday and my two children were born a calendar day apart, two years apart (i.e. our daughter's birthday 'gift' was a day old brother). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a special circumstance, he was about 10 days overdue, and the small hospital we were going to to get induced only did them 1 day a week. Neither of us felt comfortable with the possibility of having a week longer and/or any possible complications.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact of the matter is that my ex and I tried very hard to not have the birthday close together. (I actually think we 'lost' on the initial attempt due to going on too many roller coaster rides). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the fact of my late dad and I having the same day may have helped with bonding initially, I did eventually resent the fact. Also, the story that my mom often told of 'holding on' until after midnight to give my dad a nice birthday gift didn't help my angst.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moving to the present, my kids rarely celebrate birthdays in the same week, and I don't acknowledge my birthday and have made that clear to my siblings and kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not making any suggestion, (YMMV) and hope that you and your wife are happy and have a healthy child: that is what matters the most. Enjoy, regardless of the day of birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best to you and yours!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7685" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-06T06:13:40.873" LastActivityDate="2014-05-06T06:13:40.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12463" CreationDate="2014-05-06T12:36:19.223" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamification&quot;&gt;Gamify&lt;/a&gt; it!  Work with your son to determine levels and rewards.  Since he gets stuck on the more difficult problems, maybe you could tie them to &quot;stuck it out and solved four problems for level one, six for level two,...&quot; etc.  Having him help you determine the levels and rewards will give him a lot more buy-in on the process and hopefully will give him something to help he push through the frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my daughter (younger than your son), she was struggling with some advanced math, and we came up with a reward structure where she gets a prize (she loves pens) when she advances a level.  When she gets frustrated, the reward helps her push her way through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-05-06T12:36:19.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12463" CreationDate="2014-05-06T14:32:15.140" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;What kind of homework is it? Any kind of homework, or is it math? What you wrote reminded me of this blog: &lt;a href=&quot;http://mathwithbaddrawings.com/2013/04/25/were-all-bad-at-math-1-i-feel-stupid-too/&quot;&gt;http://mathwithbaddrawings.com/2013/04/25/were-all-bad-at-math-1-i-feel-stupid-too/&lt;/a&gt; - the frustration, the procrastination, the excuses, the avoidance... though this doesn't have to be restricted to math, math is just a very typical example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Changing schools a year ago might have left him with a knowledge gap in some areas, and because he was new to school he might have been to shy to ask about them back then, and now they're showing. I'd try to find out if he has knowledge gaps, and where, and also talk to him about his frustration and his fears of not understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2014-05-06T14:32:15.140" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12463" CreationDate="2014-05-06T16:24:31.217" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may sound odd, but have you tried helping him &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt;?  When I was a kid, I had a very similar reaction to piano lessons.  I would have trouble learning something, I would get frustrated, and my parents would come over and try to help me.  Somehow, though, feeling like I was too incompetent to do it myself just made me more frustrated, which made me resist their help.  The worst was when my parents tried to encourage me by saying &quot;it's not that hard&quot;.  Well, if it's not hard and I can't do it, what does that make me?  So I would insist the task was impossible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked for me was walking away from the piano and doing something else for fifteen minutes to relax.  Once I was calm, I could go back to work and would usually figure it out on the second try.  The key for me was being left alone to work at my own pace, including taking breaks when I was frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, just because it worked for me doesn't mean it will work for your son, but it might be worth a try.  If you notice him getting frustrated, suggest taking a break (even if it's just switching subjects for a while).  Tell him you'll help him with the problem &lt;em&gt;if he wants help&lt;/em&gt;, but make sure you aren't hovering over him while he works if he doesn't want help.  The feeling of being judged by an audience can add a lot of pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7185" LastActivityDate="2014-05-06T16:24:31.217" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12464" CreationDate="2014-05-06T18:55:46.943" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seems to me pretty ordinary.  Spiders and snakes are pretty interesting things.  Dinosaurs are a staple of young kids.  Maybe that's &quot;boy normal&quot; not &quot;girl normal&quot;, but we're in the 21st century, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rest of it sounds like she's internalizing the concept of &quot;things can happen if you do X&quot;, ie, cause and effect, and perhaps with a little too much focus on &quot;bad things&quot;.  Maybe try to focus a bit more on talking about 'good' consequences, rather than the necessary 'bad' consequences (ie, you're telling her &quot;Don't touch that hot stove or you will get burned&quot;; are you also telling her &quot;Do touch that bubble and see what happens!&quot;?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry too much about the dreams; almost every kid that age has fairly vivid dreams.  My almost-three year old regularly has dreams about helicopters, where there is a helicopter landing on his bed.  A big one.  Don't ask me, I don't understand either.  Those are signs of active imaginations and a child learning about 'reality' and 'fantasy', which is what they should be doing at that age.  Talk to the child about the difference, and help her through difficult/bad dreams, but otherwise don't worry too much about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-06T18:55:46.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12471" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-07T03:00:38.603" Score="15" ViewCount="3224" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter turned 3 in March.  My wife has been her primary carer since birth.  She attended daycare very briefly for 2 days/week shortly after she turned 2, but this only lasted a month or two as we weren't particular happy with the daycare centre.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of January this year (shortly before she turned 3) she started 3YO kindergarten.  Because she is a March child, and the end of April is the year cutoff for determining what year children go into kinder/school, she is one of the youngest in her class (the age ranges from just-turned 3 to 4 1/2).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2 days into starting at kinder, the teacher told us that she was some seeing some behavioural signs which are common with children that have mild Aspergers syndrome.  She doesn't really like to socialise with the other children, preferring to keep to herself and read or paint, doesn't respond to her name very often, and sometimes repeats herself when she talks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We booked herself a consultation with a developmental pediatrician.  The first consultation was a bit of a disaster; my daughter was in a terrible mood and the only way to console her was to give her my phone to flick through photos, which she did for most of consultation.  Signs weren't positive, but we tried to end on a positive note at the recommendation of the pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the second consultation, she was a different child.  She looked at the pediatrician and didn't appear to be showing any signs that she was suffering from an ASD.  The pediatrician almost went to the point of saying that a child with an ASD wouldn't have acted the way she did at that second consultation, as she was adapting to her surroundings and appeared to be showing a level of empathy (appropriate for her age) towards him.  She even reached up to him at the end for a hug.  This allayed much of our anxiety, albeit temporarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have also been seeing a speech therapist as we are concerned about her being difficult to understand when she speaks.  After the first speech therapist consultation, and when we mentioned the &quot;A&quot; word, she recommended for her to go to her kinder with another speech therapist to observe her behaviour.  We received a report about their observations and they had many concerns, mirroring what the kinder teacher had originally told us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whilst she appears to be awkward socially, there are some circumstances where she is much better.  She has a cousin the same age who she gets on with really well (they were playing hide and seek together the other day).  She gets along very well with her grandfather on one side of the family, being very interactive with him, building blocks together, great eye contact, great 2-way communication.  At home (when she's not being defiant and having tantrums) she can be great with us, although the tantrums are getting more and more difficult to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we read reports of the way she is acting in kinder, it really concerns us and stirs up our anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When reading about aspergers and other ASDs, you often hear about &quot;red flags&quot; which are certain behaviours to watch out for which could indicate a problem.  There's no doubt that she is showing some of these red flags in certain social situations, but there are other times (in areas she is more comfortable in, or people she is more comfortable with) where she seems like she could be a typical (albeit shy and reserved) 3YO (call them &quot;green flags&quot; if you will).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this sound like the behaviour or a neurological &quot;normal&quot; (I hate to use the term) child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't originally list &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of the behaviours that the speech pathologist was concerned with, but some others that the speech therapist observed while she was at kinder were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When other children try to engage with her socially, she ignores them and walks away&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Doesn't ask for help when needed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Randomly starts doing counting from memory (rote) (she loves numbers, but does have other interests)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talks in a sing-song rhythmic voice (high-pitched)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kept engaging in a certain activity when other children had finished (head-shoulders-knees-toes dance)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoids eye contact with other children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Reads&quot; books with her finger, and will turn through every page of the book running her finger along the words&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Except for her odd voice intonation and love of numbers, I'd say some of her other behaviours can change based on the situation or circumstance, e.g. with her 3YO cousin who she seems to connect to better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7691" LastEditorUserId="6449" LastEditDate="2014-07-14T06:36:07.777" LastActivityDate="2017-03-06T14:42:44.497" Title="Worried sick about 3YO and aspergers" Tags="|toddler|behavior|development|autism|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2020-06-29T00:16:55.770" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12471" CreationDate="2014-05-07T04:49:36.777" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not so sure this is an answer, and I am not a medical practitioner, but you are drawing conclusions based on tiny bits of information, much of which is conflicting. Sometimes your daughter displays behaviors that are &lt;em&gt;possibly&lt;/em&gt; indicative of a behavioral condition, and sometimes she behaves in ways that are absolutely &quot;normal.&quot; The only real issues you describe are some problems with speech and some defiance/tantrums, both of which are not unusual in a 3-year-old. Other behaviors, like sometimes keeping to herself, repeating, sometimes not responding to her name, are not problematic at 3 years old, and are also age-appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might help to keep a journal of behaviors you consider odd so you have a realistic picture of how often these behaviors happen in order to gain perspective. You may find that she doesn't respond to her name three times in one day, but she does respond 12 other times. Maybe she keeps to herself in one environment but is social in another environment. Watch for patterns and for events that might trigger certain behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is in school for the first time, and this is stressful for someone so young. The little things you are seeing, the tantrums even, may just be her outlet. Until you can establish a pattern of behaviors or until any particular behavior becomes worrisome on its own, you might just observe and try not to worry so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep breathing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-05-07T04:49:36.777" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12463" CreationDate="2014-05-07T11:46:40.103" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kudos to you for helping him stay on track. While he may seem put off by it, it is probably actually good encouragement by itself with him knowing that you are there just in case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have already been some great suggestions in terms of rewards for advancement. I agree with that but I would also add make sure the reward meets the quality of the advancement. If he has been struggling with a concept for quite a while and then finally understands it in a major breakthrough, give him a major breakthrough reward. If it's just small achievements here and there, then make sure the reward fits those small achievements. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also like to add that I used to shutdown (still do sometimes) like this when I became extremely frustrated with learning material I didn't know or I found hard to understand. That shutdown phase when he doesn't understand something is sometimes a necessity. Allow him to take a step back from the work and maybe even join him. While pushing might help, too much may also turn him off to completing the assignment to completion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-05-07T11:46:40.103" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12471" CreationDate="2014-05-07T14:37:42.797" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not a direct answer to your question but a suggestion on how to gather more data. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't know any of the other kinder parents, enlist the teacher's help in identifying sympathetic parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Approach them and ask for a playdate (one at a time). Discuss with them the issue and that you want to see if your daughter is just overwhelmed by the number of children. You want to try to foster a relationship/friendship with one or two other children as a bridge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have the other parents prepare their children by saying that your daughter is shy and may not want to play, but we'll try. Have them bring their own toys so that your daughter doesn't feel that her stuff is being taken. Then you can encourage show-and-tell, trading, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep it relatively short, repeat if there's not a complete meltdown, and be prepared to cancel if your daughter's not in a good mood that day! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm divided on having the cousin there as well, but I think not--too distracting and too easy for them to go off by themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4060" LastActivityDate="2014-05-07T14:37:42.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12443" CreationDate="2014-05-07T14:40:01.330" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's slow, but works. Suggested by our daycare provider (home-based) and later suggested by a pediatrician: spoon-feed the infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4060" LastActivityDate="2014-05-07T14:40:01.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12463" CreationDate="2014-05-07T17:47:34.077" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;From a college teachers perspective: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be a combination of the things mentioned here. I'll add some things that haven't been mentioned though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try getting him a tutor if you can afford one. It might be that he has already decided that you can't help him. So it might be helpful for him to open up to someone else first. One thing that a tutor might have more experience with is providing positive feedback. It can be tough to constantly hear &quot;you're wrong&quot; or &quot;no&quot;. A good tutor would probably avoid this and at the same time might be able to provide some feedback to you from your son's perspective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest speaking to the teacher. Perhaps they can speak to the students mastery of the material more accurately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, if he is in the mindset that he knows everything or if he doesn't understand a particular question, have him explain what he does know. Sometimes all that's needed is a bit more of a relaxed dialogue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7544" LastActivityDate="2014-05-07T17:47:34.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12471" CreationDate="2014-05-07T20:34:07.757" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are in a similar situation, except that we haven't talked with a pediatrician yet. My related question (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/12314/at-which-age-does-it-make-sense-to-see-a-professional-when-suspecting-asperger&quot;&gt;At which age does it make sense to see a professional when suspecting Asperger?&lt;/a&gt;) was inspired by fear of exactly what has happened to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I have read so far, it is common that Aspergers symptoms are not always present, i.e., the child sometimes appears &quot;normal&quot;. Furthermore, &lt;a href=&quot;http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Aspergers_in_Girls&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Aspergers is particularly hard to diagnose in girls&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what we did is that we filled out a few tests (like the ASAS) and noted examples of behaviors both typical and untypical for ASDs, and we will have them with us when we go to see the doctor. This way we don't have to rely only on the child's behavior on that day, because, as previous experience shows, it is quite unpredictable. We'll see how this works out...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7498" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-05-07T20:34:07.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12478" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-08T04:15:49.673" Score="2" ViewCount="4014" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest child uses a booster (Maxi-Cosi Rodifix), my middle child uses a carseat (Maxi-Cosi Priori) and once my third child is born he will be in an infant carrier (Maxi-Cosi Mico).  I drive a 2011 Honda Pilot and it does fit all three carseats on one row.  From experience, what ways would you recommend to place their seats?  My first choice was to put my oldest in the middle. She can buckle her seat belt by herself and it would be easier to attach and detatch the infant seat from the side seat. I would buckle my toddler from the other side as well. Or should I use the third row and send my oldest all the way to the back (I never use that third row)?  How safe is it to have a booster on the middle seat?  All ideas welcome!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7693" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-08T07:05:59.053" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T04:22:02.010" Title="What is the smarter way to position 3 carseats on my car?" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12478" CreationDate="2014-05-08T06:27:00.563" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Because there should not be any major safety factors determining seat location (all 3 positions should be as safe as each other unless you have specific ISO-FIX fitting requirements) I think you are taking the right approach and looking at lifting, buckling and other physical constraints. Always have your youngest close to the door, as baby carriers are heavy and awkward to buckle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then pop your eldest in the middle - if they can buckle themselves then that makes life easier. With us, they had to be buckled in first though, as the middle child's seat obstructed the belt points. &#xA;The main thing is to find out what works for you though and go with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2014-05-08T09:17:02.807" LastActivityDate="2014-05-08T09:17:02.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12480" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12481" CreationDate="2014-05-08T07:26:12.767" Score="5" ViewCount="711" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age do you or can you teach a kid about fairness?  I helped my cousin watch after her 17 yr old and 11 yr old.  I had to pick up the 17 yr old from softball practice.  She hinted she wanted to get a tapioca drink so I took her to get one.  I didn't think about getting the 11 yr old a drink (stupid me) and he started having a fit when I went to pick him up from the library and he saw his sister had one but he didn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I apologized but he was still crying, stomping, kicking, etc.  I was going to tell him about about life and fairness but since it's not my kid, I didn't think it was appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This brings me to the next question.  If I have kids one day, when should I teach MY kids about fairness and that it's ok that someone can get something but they might not?  What age would they understand the concept and lesson and not miss the learning moment b/c they were so caught up over what was &quot;unfair&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4456" LastEditorUserId="4456" LastEditDate="2014-05-08T20:05:56.243" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T15:12:17.390" Title="What age to teach a child about fairness?" Tags="|development|teaching|social-development|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12480" CreationDate="2014-05-08T10:03:04.720" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Siblings usually are very jealous of each other. In my opinion it would be only fit to negotiate an action that would recompense the younger kid but only after it settles down (screaming and whining is not the way to gain anything).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You were in a car and a whining child can seriously impair your attention. Stop of you have the time and give the kid some time to settle down. Also asking the 17y old to go out of reach of hearing would make things easier as she constantly reminded the younger one about the unfairness.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Settle a firm requirement the kid has to follow before you even start listening.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;After she settles down negotiate if she followed your requirements to the letter. If not drop the subject and carry on going back home.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can teach kids about fairness early on and it goes very well with establishing a position of control. If you bend once to a kids fit you are in trouble because the next time it's possible the kid will try to leverage your weakness for screaming to his/hers advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stories about life and fairness are hard to relate to for kids. Give simple examples. But first make sure the kid is not trashing about because it will not listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking about feelings can be useful in a rage fit. If you make her tell what she feels (e.g. you being unfair makes her furious) and what you feel (bad because you forgot about her) it should make her understand you more and vice-versa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If after 3 min. you are unable to gain any control the cause is lost. Ignore until she calms down and then you can again try the feeling approach. Once that is settled dissect the situation and point the overreaction on her part. If this turns out ok promise her that next time you will remember about her but do not give gratification immediately as it will still boil down to her rage giving her profit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to your kids you will have the subject pop up probably even before the kid will be able to speak and once he/she goes to school it will pop up daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always be firm in your stance and clear about positive and negative consequences. This should in itself make you a great example of fairness :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7570" LastActivityDate="2014-05-08T10:03:04.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12482" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-08T11:13:46.560" Score="8" ViewCount="4185" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read on the internet that giving tea to infants can cause iron absorption problems, the problem is our infant of 9 months loves tea , as we gave her a sip when she demanded it and now she wants it whenever she sees a cup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it safe to give her tea?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Tea here is the typical Indian tea made from the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;tea plant&lt;/a&gt; called Camellia sinensis and milk&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-05-09T05:00:23.100" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T12:28:55.450" Title="Giving tea to infants" Tags="|infant|food|babyfood|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12482" CreationDate="2014-05-08T14:21:31.000" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not give caffeinated tea (true tea) to an infant.  Separate from the iron absorption issues (and it's not just iron; caffeine has a lot of negative effects on mineral and vitamin levels), the effect on mood is also significantly relevant to children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if she is breastfed, and Mom's having any caffeine, then so is she.  Small amounts probably aren't a problem, and a sip or two of tea might be okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did, is introduce our children to mint &quot;tea&quot;s.  No actual tea leaf, just mint.  They love it, and when Mom and Dad have tea, they get mint tea.  There are even some &quot;kid teas&quot; that have interesting flavor, like grape, along with the mint (although I prefer to stick with the plain mints, spearmint, peppermint, or combined).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-08T14:21:31.000" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12485" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-05-08T15:09:36.887" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-05-08T15:09:36.887" LastActivityDate="2014-05-08T15:09:36.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12486" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-05-08T15:09:36.887" Score="0" Body="Baby food is any soft, easily consumed food, other than breastmilk or infant formula, that is made specifically for infants, roughly between the ages of six months and two years." OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-05-08T18:14:34.597" LastActivityDate="2014-05-08T18:14:34.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12482" CreationDate="2014-05-08T15:40:55.630" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I currently live in Japan. Needless to say, tea is extremely popular. Infants (9 months+) are sometimes given a certain type of tea called 麦茶, otherwise known as roasted barley tea. It is a caffeine free tea so it didn't make her jittery or keep her up and also has a few health benefits in the realm of bacterial resistance. This is the only tea we have given our daughter since she started drinking tea and we are very careful not to give her any other types.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only peer-reviewed article I could find about tea and infants was in &lt;em&gt;The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition&lt;/em&gt; and the researchers did not recommend allowing them to drink it. For the test, the infants who's blood levels were tested and also drank tea showed higher signs of microcytic anemia and lower hemoglobin levels. It was theorized due to the tea causing iron deficiency (Merhav et. al, 1985).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Merhav, H., Amitai, Y., Palti, H., &amp;amp; Godfrey, S. (1985). Tea drinking and microcytic anemia in infants. &lt;em&gt;The American Journal Of Clinical Nutrition&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;41(6)&lt;/em&gt;, 1210-1213.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-05-08T15:40:55.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12478" CreationDate="2014-05-08T16:48:54.807" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My situation:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I've a Honda Odyssey, so have three rows. I know about Honda Pilot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I've three kids and use similar car seats (though Safety 1st brand).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Recommendation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I have the same configuration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put &lt;em&gt;the older two kids&lt;/em&gt; in the third row, on the sides, leaving the central area clear. This would benefit you when you put your older kid on the booster and put the car's seat belt into the buckle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Benefit:&lt;/em&gt; You do not have stick your hands between cars seats to find seat belt's buckle for your oldest kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Not so benefit:&lt;/em&gt; This would take some bending your back when buckling/unbuckling your older ones, but they will have more room for their stuff. You can also take advantage of the free floor area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put &lt;em&gt;the youngest one&lt;/em&gt; in the second row. Now based on your most typical travel plans, do one of these:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you have two people (adults) sitting in the second row, then you can put it in the center.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If one parent sits with the baby, then put the car seat behind the passenger seat. This way, you can keep the diaper bag on the floor in front of the car seat, as that area isn't used.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you travel alone most of the time, you can install this car seat behind the driver's seat. It will only save you some time when putting in or taking out the baby, but be extra vigilant as you will be on the same side as oncoming traffic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6409" LastActivityDate="2014-05-08T16:48:54.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12482" CreationDate="2014-05-09T00:15:06.127" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants do not have strong immune systems.  A quick perusal of an academic database yielded three articles within the first 10 hits that caused concern (search terms &lt;em&gt;tea infants&lt;/em&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stojanović, M. M., Katić, V., &amp;amp; Kuzmanović, J. (2011). Isolation of&#xA;   Cronobacter sakazakii from different herbal teas. Vojnosanitetski&#xA;   Pregled: Military Medical &amp;amp; Pharmaceutical Journal Of Serbia &amp;amp;&#xA;   Montenegro, 68(10), 837-841.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Scientists tested 150 herbal teas and found cronobacter sakazakii in 48 of them (32%). Cronobacter sakazakii is a food-borne pathogen noted for causing serious illness in infants after being &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/features/cronobacter/&quot;&gt;ingested in infant formula&lt;/a&gt; (Center for Disease Control). The conclusion of the study is that herbal teas should not be fed to infants or people with compromised immune systems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ize-Ludlow, D., Ragone, S., Bruck, I. S., Bernstein, J. N., Duchowny,&#xA;   M., &amp;amp; Garcia Peña, B. M. (2004). Neurotoxicities in Infants Seen With&#xA;   the Consumption of Star Anise Tea. Pediatrics, 114(5), 653-e656.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The title to this is self-evident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bakerink, J. A., &amp;amp; Gospe Jr., S. M. (1996). Multiple organ failure after ingestion of pennyroyal oil from herbal tea in two infants. Pediatrics, 98(5), 944.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The herbal tea in both cases cited in this article was mint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T00:15:06.127" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12478" CreationDate="2014-05-09T04:22:02.010" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard carseat techs say you should put the least protected seat in the most protected position. Typically this means you want the booster seat in the middle, and the infant seat and harnessed carseat on the sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a practical sense, buckling a booster seat in the middle between two carseats can be challenging in some vehicles, and putting some carseat(s) in the backseat may be easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T04:22:02.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12429" CreationDate="2014-05-09T11:21:43.607" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well the first &amp;amp; the foremost thing i taught my childrens, as never to hide anything which is insulting in school &amp;amp; the same if reported back to the teacher &amp;amp; no action is been taken then it is better to involve higher authorities or morale police to handle such problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6509" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T11:21:43.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1181" CreationDate="2014-05-09T11:32:28.467" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best possible device that can keep an eye on our kids is us only. We need to be very conscious about where they are moving and what they intend to do since no device in the world can take our position to know the whereabouts of our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6509" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-09T12:29:18.417" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T12:29:18.417" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12216" CreationDate="2014-05-09T11:39:10.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well from my own experiences i don't find anything wrong while playing with a elder girl. But at the same time you guys need to keep a constant watch, so that these kids doesn't hurt each other while playing. Otherwise these activities are very common among the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6509" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T11:39:10.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12482" CreationDate="2014-05-09T12:28:55.450" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Small amounts of relatively weak tea with plenty of milk to cool it down should be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each of our kids liked tea and coffee from an early age, though they seem less interested in it now, preferring hot chocolate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Caffeine is of course toxic, but the fatal dose is far higher than anybody would be likely to drink under normal circumstances. Back some time ago when I had similar worries, I calculated that the fatal dose of coffee for an average sized two year old would be around about 20 standard-sized cups of filter coffee. Once I'd done that calculation, I stopped worrying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course tea is less caffeinated than coffee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T12:28:55.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12429" CreationDate="2014-05-09T16:57:42.480" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not an easy topic in the recent political climate.  You have three concerns to balance: legal concerns, school rules, and practical considerations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Legally, in the United States, you are justified in using force until a threat is ended and no further.  That means it's okay to knock a bully down, but not to kick him when he's down, or chase after him if he's running away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School rules are much more strict now, with zero tolerance policies in most school districts that allow for no justification or administrative discretion.  Additionally, schools have asserted authority beyond school grounds, with cases of expulsions for incidents in children's own yards while waiting for the school bus.  Your child can be kicked out of school for fighting back in self defense, even if your child showed discretion in not taking it too far, previously reported threats to the school that were unheeded, and the administrators acceded to those facts.  Those consequences must be weighed into your decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practical considerations mean even if your child followed the letter of the law and school rules and is eventually cleared of all wrongdoing, the ordeal may be expensive and harrowing, and those consequences may permanently affect his social standing in the school, his ability to not have to always look over his shoulder, and the academic consequences from whatever classes he misses while the mess is being sorted out.  Take George Zimmerman for example.  Whether he was justified or not in shooting Trayvon Martin, he will never be able to lead a normal life, not because of the legal consequences, but because of the social ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, kids need to understand there are consequences beyond the immediate moment, and that adults don't always respond rationally in these circumstances.  Discuss news stories like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.startribune.com/politics/statelocal/258400451.html&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;, where a girl got expelled for forgetting a pocket knife was in her purse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jeremy made a good point that events take a while to escalate to a fight.  Take advantage of that.  There's still the matter of what to do in the moment, though, and the best way I can think of to describe it to my children is &quot;Do the minimum necessary to end a fight as quickly as possible.&quot;  If it's possible to avoid contact with a bully in the first place, do it.  If it requires running to get an adult, do it.  If it requires a few blocking moves then walking away, do it.  If it requires knocking a bully down until he stops coming after you, do it.  Kids can exercise great discretion if they're aware of the consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T16:57:42.480" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12429" CreationDate="2014-05-09T21:09:02.203" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our school system has a &quot;zero tolerance&quot; policy that suspends both students who were in a fight. A child of mine was once standing in a schoolyard when someone ran up from the side and knocked him over, then started hitting him while he was down. He did not hit back. They were both suspended. That is what &quot;zero tolerance&quot; gets us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That child was already in martial arts, and in fact &quot;not realizing someone running up to me from the side is actually attacking me&quot; became a discussion point in that week's lesson. What had already been covered in detail was how to avoid fights. &lt;em&gt;Oh, how the older children loved acting out the chest-puffing, arm-waving, you-talkin-to-ME of a young man working up to a fight!&lt;/em&gt; In general, the training did work to prevent fights, to make them shorter if they started (the only thing better than a two-punch fight is a no-punch fight), and to reduce the chances my child was hurt in anything that did start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to teaching your own child how to fight back I suggest one of these three:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;never fight back, never hit anyone even if they hit you. Run away, yell for help, cover your head, but never ever hit anyone.&quot; This may help keep a child out of trouble in a non zero tolerance school, and may fit your own philosophy better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the advice you were given - no holds barred, they started it, you finish it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;for anything more subtle, get someone who teaches fighting to make the subtle distinctions and teach the techniques, including spotting these things brewing. I think it's a very hard thing for parents to teach because we love our kids, don't want them to get hurt, don't like imagining bad situations, and either assume other kids are just like ours or other kids are all evil. Instructors of boxing, karate, kung fu, judo etc are freer to explore what-ifs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up in a time when teachers thought fighting was fine, and hated it. Today's world is better, but more complicated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-05-09T21:16:52.043" LastActivityDate="2014-05-09T21:16:52.043" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12503" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-09T21:50:40.617" Score="9" ViewCount="160" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's 2. He keeps hitting adults for fun. How do I teach him that this is wrong and should not be done? How do I teach the concept of &quot;this is good, this is bad&quot; to a 2-year-old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7706" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-10T01:43:22.793" LastActivityDate="2014-05-12T04:46:56.003" Title="How do you manage an aggressive child?" Tags="|toddler|aggression|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2014-05-10T04:46:49.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am amazed at all the different advice given on this subject of what to call a step parent or step grand parent. I was a widower who remarried a widow with three daughters. I had three sons, all were grown with children of their own. On my side of the family there was no biological grandmother, on her side there was no biological grandfather. We have been married 15 years and she is Nana to my grandchildren, and to hers, and I am grampa to my grandchildren, and to hers for this reason, the biological grandparents are not alive. They cannot hold, touch, or love these children, we can because for whatever reason known only to God, we are here. We are grandparents to all in every sense of reality. Don't make this difficult beyond what it should be. They are married to each other, therefore they are  grandparents to each son or daughters children on each side of the family. There are too many real problems in the world to make this one of them. Live life!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7707" LastActivityDate="2014-05-10T04:46:49.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12480" CreationDate="2014-05-10T05:43:29.337" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies as young as 5 months can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2011/11/21/1110306108.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;recognize prosocial behaviour&lt;/a&gt;.  By 8 months, they will even sympathize with characters who punish evildoers.  From those results, it's safe to say that babies have a sense of morality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question, then: start from birth, because babies already know about fairness. Set good examples, and they are likely to retain that instinct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2014-05-10T05:43:29.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12507" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-10T09:15:59.927" Score="1" ViewCount="256" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got a Daiichi first 7 car seat for my five month old. It is a child sized seat but has an infant insert.  the insert seems to leave a lot of space behind baby's back when sized to fit my above average height baby. The result is a fairly curved posture.  Does anyone have advice regarding sizing the seat and insert?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7709" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2014-06-18T14:33:04.223" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T16:47:19.167" Title="Sizing a convertible car seat for large infant" Tags="|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12508" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12904" CreationDate="2014-05-10T13:18:13.433" Score="4" ViewCount="1133" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have read:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/4797/4174&quot;&gt;How do I motivate my 8-year-old to practice the piano regularly?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/452/4174&quot;&gt;How do you teach a toddler rhythm and melody?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/805/4174&quot;&gt;How do you determine when to start a child on music lessons without pressuring them?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I still don't have an answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any dangers associated with starting a child to play the piano at too early of an age? My daughter is 6 years old and some friends have told my wife that learning piano before age 7 can cause problems with the child's heart, somehow relating it to finger movement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've searched elsewhere and have yet to find any reference of any health-related dangers. Are there any that I simply have not found yet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2018-05-04T05:08:28.670" Title="Any dangers associated with learning piano too young?" Tags="|health|learning|music|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2014-05-10T21:43:38.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Ontario, children who take lessons from a registered driving instructor gain two specific benefits: they can take their test after a shorter learning period, and their instructor can take them on high speed controlled access highways; parents etc cannot. In addition, our insurance provides a large discount (in many cases exceeding the cost of the lessons) to young drivers who pass a training session from a registered driving instructor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These practical details, combined with my memories of being taught by my father, meant we enrolled each child in driving lessons. However we also supplemented with plenty of parental lessons. Rarely was it &amp;quot;let's go out and parallel park&amp;quot;. The day each got their permit there was some empty parking lot &amp;quot;make it go forward, ok now make it stop, ok let's try turning&amp;quot; stuff, but once that was under control it was more like &amp;quot;we need groceries. You're driving.&amp;quot; and then the whole way they could say &amp;quot;should I signal yet?&amp;quot; or anything else they wondered about, and we could offer random coaching if needed. This also served as geography lessons for kids who never paid attention during the first 16 years when they were driven everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This ensured that they got a lot more practice than someone who only drove with an instructor, and it got us familiar with the fact that they were a capable driver. When the time came and the tests were passed, we weren't worried to let them go off alone - we knew they were good at it. But at the same time, the instructor could cover not only what it takes to be a good driver, but what it takes to pass the test, and what it takes to be a great driver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day, a passel of kids arrived at the house, which is normal enough, and were full of a bubbly story, which turned out to go like this (one of ours had gone to pick them all up from their various homes)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then suddenly I realized there was a car coming straight for us!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh yeah, man, terrifying, like what was he even doing on our side of the road?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But X, man, just [mimes] whips the car onto the shoulder, the guy goes past in our lane, then [mimes] back onto the road and keeps going like nothing happened&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know, I like screamed, but X didn't even swear!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[X, my kid] I didn't really think, I just reacted and did what I'd practiced with the instructor a bunch of times. We started at slow speeds and worked up to fast and when I saw that guy, I just did it without even thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would have all been killed for sure!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well maybe they would and maybe they wouldn't, but I never taught anyone that drill (and nor was I taught it) so I sure am glad we sent them for lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-05-10T21:43:38.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2924" CreationDate="2014-05-10T23:50:30.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out this simple but brilliant baby-proofing fence for the entertainment system. Way easier to put up and take down and far less time consuming than some of the other options presented. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just in case the site changes, buy baby gate fencing and place it around the entertainment system to prevent your little one from getting into trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kotaku.com/5893829/baby-proofing-tips-for-gamers-turn-the-gate-around&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kotaku.com/5893829/baby-proofing-tips-for-gamers-turn-the-gate-around&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7710" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-11T06:41:16.840" LastActivityDate="2014-05-11T06:41:16.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8674" CreationDate="2014-05-10T23:59:07.107" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 12 years old son who has same behavior issues. He has much of my attention but he has 200% of me. He is bossy and wants to teach me what I need to do. He doesn't like any of my questions, particularly about his home work or any his responsibilities and even the question about cleaning his teeth makes him mad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been working with a psychiatrist for 2 months (my older son, 28 years old, who is a psychologist and was watching his tantrum and anger recommended me to ask a professional for help). The doctor prescribed him some medication (one at a time): the second one makes him sleepy and he wakes up more relaxed and calm... but if you ask or tell him what he doesn't like it triggers his anger right away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today we saw a counselor. My son liked to talk with him and looked very happy going back to home but in 10 minutes being at home he was angry and screamed like crazy. Sometimes I think that he feels better when he screams because he wants to release his extra energy. When he starts screaming, I am sending him out to run - sometimes he does and it helps in a while, sometimes he doesn't want to do it. He always was stubborn but these tantrums started 4 months ago. I am a full time working mother of 2 children - him and his sister who is 10 and she is trying to copy of some his behavior. I only found 2 ways to mitigate this problem: 1. found specialists (my insurance mostly pays for it) and 2. I am taking medication which is helping me to stay calm when he screams.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7711" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-05-12T10:49:31.927" LastActivityDate="2014-05-12T10:49:31.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12513" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-11T12:02:15.977" Score="2" ViewCount="18469" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our three-year-old son has a habit of wiggling his fingers in front of his eyes/face. Is this common for a toddler? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I previously asked whether &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11330/our-toddler-boy-likes-to-arrange-his-toy-cars-in-a-line-is-this-normal&quot;&gt;arranging toy cars in a line&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/12208/is-it-common-for-a-toddler-to-cry-when-things-are-not-in-order?rq=1&quot;&gt;crying when things are not in order&lt;/a&gt; is normal, and I gathered that they are both normal and common. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering whether wiggling fingers in front of eyes is as common. To clarify, I am not asking for a diagnose, as in why my son is doing that, but would be happy just to know if people here have seen their children did the same thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2020-09-26T15:34:18.237" Title="Is it common for a toddler boy to wiggle his fingers in front of his eyes?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12515" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-11T17:32:05.547" Score="2" ViewCount="629" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is getting close to 4 years of age.  He's pretty big for his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My cousins have some extra booster seats, and we plan on taking some vacations with them next year.  Rather than lugging our own booster seat onto the plane, we were hoping to use their seats when riding in their mini-van.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is in the appropriate height range &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3276/420&quot;&gt;found in this answer&lt;/a&gt;, and he is close to the weight range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming that by the time he is four, he is both within the height and weight ranges listed for booster seats, is that all that is needed to ensure that he'll be okay in my cousins' booster seat?  They asked if I thought I'd need a seatbelt extender, but I'm not sure what that means.  Are they necessary?  If so, when?  How can I tell?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can I tell if my son fits in the booster seat safely just by looking at him?  I remember seeing a video showing something about the position of the seatbelt relative to his chest, but I can't find the video anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-05-16T14:05:07.867" Title="How can I tell if my son is big enough for a car booster seat?" Tags="|pre-schooler|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12503" CreationDate="2014-05-12T04:46:56.003" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the twos is when good/bad ok/not ok start actually making sense.  You can definitely teach your child at this age what is acceptable and not; in fact, this is how they end up leaving the 'terrible twos' and move into the 'why' stage; they start realizing things are a certain way, including good/bad, but also realize that motorcycles are parked outside in spaces not meant for cars, and that people cross the walk against the light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They get there by repetition, largely.  Their brains have to develop sufficiently to hit that black-and-white stage (where things are good or bad, right or wrong); you can't teach that, but you can put the groundwork for &lt;em&gt;which&lt;/em&gt; things are which.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until that stage is reached, a few tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Often, the child is hitting because they are out of control.  Learn strategies to let them regain control.  Some children at this age respond to time outs (real time out, as in a calm-down period, not a punishment).  Many don't, though; for those, like my oldest at first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to teach them 'calm' techniques.  My oldest learned to say &quot;calm&quot; in a low, long tone, sort of like the Buddhist 'Om'.  It works for him; he calms down after saying it a few times.  We also sometimes count to 10 or 20 (by we, I mean he and I - not '1-2-3' but actually just counting numbers to get in a calmer mindset).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child may be seeking attention.  Negative attention is still attention, so hitting gets you to talk to him.  This has to be managed carefully; at best, you would give him more attention at other times so to prevent this from being an issue, but that's often not possible.  Ignoring isn't an answer either, however.  Instead, calmly say &quot;No thank you, hitting is not nice&quot; or some variant on that, pick him up, move him away from you or the person he hit a few feet, and then return to what you were doing.  Repeat as needed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he seems to be hitting in response to a particular stimuli (for example, my oldest hits his younger brother when he interferes with his playing), calmly remind him that isn't an acceptable way to handle the situation - and provide him with a good alternative.  This even works for attention seeking, as you can remind him a good way to get attention.  This worked very well for my oldest as he would yell &quot;Don't Talk Mommy Daddy&quot; when we'd talk to each other in the car; we asked him instead to ask politely &quot;Can I talk Mommy?&quot;, which he learned to do after five or six times.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key to most of these is Don't get Mad, and Repetition.  Don't get mad, meaning don't angrily tell him things; odds are he's hitting because he's stressed, and you're making it worse (and reinforcing the anger response to stress).  Repetition is key to all of this; just like you learn the multiplication tables by doing 3x5 a half dozen times, so too does your child learn proper social behavior by repetition.  Don't be discouraged when the first 5 times don't work.  Try another 5 times.  Consistency is more important than finding the 'one true way' to help your child learn something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-12T04:46:56.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12518" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-12T10:52:41.133" Score="6" ViewCount="516" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got a preschooler that plainly refuses to sleep most evenings. He gets up around 07:15, in time for kindergarten, does not nap during the day, and is visibly tired by the evening. His usual bedtime is around 19:30 and we've had a solid bedtime routine since forever that nearly always works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately he refuses to go to sleep, even if we manage to talk him into bed. (Actually he had &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4584/how-can-i-handle-my-toddlers-bedtime-avoidance-tricks&quot;&gt;the same problem 2 years ago&lt;/a&gt;.) When this occasionally happened in the past, he was allowed to sit quietly on the livingroom sofa with his books, and after a fairly short while he would feel ready for bed. This &lt;strong&gt;usual approach doesn't work any more&lt;/strong&gt; and things get irritable very quickly as he prevents us from doing our boring grown-up tasks that can't get done while the kids are up. If he gets his way, he'll still be up past 22:00 but that means lack of sleep and a tough next day for all of us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's not playing us parents against each other, either; we make sure to align our parenting. Explaining, arguing, or enforcing consequences doesn't work either because he simply doesn't care if we take away his toys or his privileges; he's only ever cares about &quot;right now&quot;. Last night was particularly tough: My wife couldn't spend another evening that way and took him for a short drive in the car because that makes him fall asleep, and then carried him to bed. He then awoke and got up again, refusing to sleep. That's a first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not just in the evenings, though. Our last vacation trip was typical: 4-hour car drive, our toddler fell asleep, but he practically forced himself to stay awake despite our best efforts. He finally fell asleep &lt;em&gt;minutes&lt;/em&gt; before we arrived home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that &lt;strong&gt;he deliberately avoids sleeping under any circumstances, and I'm looking for options on how to handle that.&lt;/strong&gt; We're demonstrating to him how boring it is to stay awake -- we don't do stuff that would make him feel like he's missing out on anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't ever physically locked him into his room, and I don't believe that's a workable solution. I'd appreciate other suggestions as well as ideas about causes we haven't thought of yet. This is really taxing for us and we're running out of ideas, patience, arguments, and mental energy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt; some answers to comments:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's 4½ years old. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;An earlier bedtime is unthinkable, but we can try a later time, perhaps 20:00-20:30 tops. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We don't have a TV, and he sometimes requests 20 minutes of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.barbapapa.fr/barbadb/barbapapa-family.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Barbapapa&lt;/a&gt; (5-min cartoons) on mom's laptop, or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1957945/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this cute good-night film&lt;/a&gt; (7-min Pixar) on dad's pc. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dinner is typically around 18:00, so not right before bedtime. That's also pretty much the last drink. The bedtime routine includes a bathroom break, and he can (and does) go by himself in the night if he needs to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S39836495/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;bed&lt;/a&gt; is cozy, in a corner of his room, with a dim (0.8W LED) &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70194448/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;night light&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60054636/?query=60054636&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;a canopy&lt;/a&gt;. He also has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://gro.co.uk/gro-clock&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Gro clock&lt;/a&gt; that we activated when he was younger, but these days we rarely use it so it's just another night light. Windows are shuttered at night, especially in the summer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We're reasonably quiet; we don't watch action movies at full blast downstairs and expect him to fall asleep upstairs :-) but once he's deep asleep, almost nothing can wake him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's extremely rare that he has nightmares, less than 5 x per year. No phobias or common fears.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No noteworthy or chronic medical issues.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-06-27T19:42:16.737" Title="How can I help a preschooler who refuses to sleep?" Tags="|pre-schooler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7858" CreationDate="2014-05-12T16:29:27.213" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Coming from a child, you should probably let them pull it out themselves. Because they're the only ones that feel how loose it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you leave them to fall out it MAY end up hurting the child if she's eating or something like that. And also it is very common for an adult tooth to grow behind a baby one IF the baby one is still in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7719" LastActivityDate="2014-05-12T16:29:27.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12518" CreationDate="2014-05-12T18:42:01.180" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, at 4.5, he's old enough to try to verbalize what's going on in his head, but maybe not quite verbal enough to initiate such a deep discussion.  Maybe try 20 questions with him, to see why HE thinks he's avoiding sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he having nightmares and doesn't know how to deal with them?  (If so, maybe try teaching him lucid dreaming; our kindergartner went through something similar, and we practiced imagining a door that is behind you: you turn around, open it, and you're at Pawpaw's and in a different dream! Or you're a lioness, and you roar so loudly the bad dream runs away in fright.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he indeed afraid he's going to miss out on something?  (Only thing I can think of is to talk it through, or maybe let him stay up a night or two to see how frightfully dull it really is.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it his bed? Maybe he's afraid of falling out, or it has an uncomfortable spot, or he has a bad association with it (an accident, getting sick, something like that).  Speaking as a former and recovering emetophobe, I had VERY strong negative associations with clothing I wore when I got sick, the place I was at when I got sick, etc., and would avoid them like the plague.  Not that he's necessarily an emetophobe, but strong negative associations come packaged with all sorts of fears.  If that's it, maybe rearranging his room or changing out the comforter or sheets or pillow for a new one could help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it's something hurting him, that the pediatrician should check out.  (I'm thinking that's rather unlikely, but again, at 4.5 they're quite verbal but sometimes not enough to introduce this stuff themselves.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thought: does he have a visual cue in his room indicating that it's time to sleep and time to get up, like a day/night kids' clock (usually aimed towards pre-verbal children and children who cannot yet tell time)?  Maybe having something like that, that gives him assurance that it'll be time to get up VERY SOON, will help?  Maybe he fights sleep in the car because he knows that'll lead to being at home, and then in the same 'whatever is in his head' environment that he doesn't want to sleep in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;If I come up with any more 'maybe's, I'll edit this post.  Trying to put myself in a kids' head always takes me into the most unusual and distracting places. :)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-05-12T18:42:01.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4765" CreationDate="2014-05-12T20:17:51.877" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;we have used a similar method (defined where I live as &quot;self-weaning&quot;) with our daughter (now almost 3).&#xA;The basic observation is that the digestive apparatus of infants become basically &quot;mature&quot; (as in the same or very close to the &quot;adult&quot; version) around 6 months (this is also indicated here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rapleyweaning.com/assets/blwleaflet.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.rapleyweaning.com/assets/blwleaflet.pdf&lt;/a&gt;)&#xA;The other observation is that a baby is curious &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; will put everything in his/her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So our method worked like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you make sure the baby eats enough. Since babies do not speak, you can observe him/her. If it cries (and you can find no other reasonable source) or tries to undress the mother for breastmilk, well, that's a clue :)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you don't &lt;strong&gt;give&lt;/strong&gt; him/her food, but rather &lt;strong&gt;offer&lt;/strong&gt; what you are eating: this also forces the parents to eat in a balanced way. It's a good way to follow a good diet, since what you eat will also feed your kid&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;there's no limit, really: we had wonderful experiences with tomatoes (we found pieces of tomato for a few days :D) and not so fun with pasta (because it didn't look like food)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;choking is something you should worry about: you make sure the food is of the appropriate size&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;also, the size should be so that the baby can pick it up: peas proved somewhat difficult, for instance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we don't eat meat often, and in the time we were self-weaning our daughter we used to integrate her diet with mashed meat or fish&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we moved to utensils quite fast (as in &quot;look dear, there's a spoon, we can use it like this&quot;). We use colored spoons and fork (plastic). Now she uses utensils in a proper way, also the spoon for broth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other observations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's fun&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's a also a good stimulus: food doesn't have only taste, but also texture, consistency, shape, color and so on&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it puts the whole family around the table at the same time, and everybody's eating in his/her own way, which is a great plus, IMHO&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;my wife decided to breastfeed our daughter until she was a little over one year old. Over time that became more and more something like a bedtime ritual than proper feeding. This has obviously integrated self-weaning (as Shauna was mentioning)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we don't have any history of food allergies. If you do, it's worth going step by step in adding elements to the baby's diet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outcome and observations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;we never had problems (our daughter is of robust build: taller than kids older than her). Stools become solid rather suddenly, this was a surprise, mostly for her. Unrelated: we had to, after consulting with our pediatrician, integrate during the winters with Vitamin D and, but not linked to the diet, Fluoride for the teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My opinion: I will repeat the same path (second daughter arrived). It was not stress-free, but definitely a worth investment of our time. Also, our daughter sits with us during dinner now: she probably sees as &quot;natural&quot; the fact that we sit around the table eating and does not leave before we're done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3939" LastEditorUserId="3939" LastEditDate="2015-07-24T13:32:52.400" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T13:32:52.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12518" CreationDate="2014-05-12T21:31:12.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently moved and originally had a twin bed sticking out into the room, perpendicular to the wall.   Hard to get our 5 year old to sleep.  We turned the bed parallel to the wall, tucked into the corner, and that helped immensely.  Apparently the open sides of the bed led to an unsettled feeling while the bed in the corner is a secure comfortable feeling.  Maybe try that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7721" LastActivityDate="2014-05-12T21:31:12.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12526" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12528" CreationDate="2014-05-12T23:11:06.553" Score="5" ViewCount="303" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three-and-a-half year old son talks constantly.  Its pretty much a non-stop monolog from the time he wakes up until the time he falls asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're okay with this, and try not to discourage his language development or speech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately, he has gotten into the habit of interrupting others who are already talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try reminding him not to interrupt when he does so, and generally don't acknowledge what he's talking about if he's interrupted until he's waited for us to stop speaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it doesn't seem to be improving.  Additionally, the fact that he talks so much makes it hard for us to not wind up interrupting him, which makes it hard to be good role models for not interrupting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to proceed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-05-12T23:27:32.140" LastActivityDate="2017-03-06T17:25:57.610" Title="How can we teach my preschooler to not interrupt?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|manners|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12480" CreationDate="2014-05-12T23:57:19.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In &lt;em&gt;Teaching Children Fairness: Decreasing Gender Prejudice Among Children&lt;/em&gt;, Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, Volume 11, Issue 1, pages 61–81, December 2011, Britney G. Brinkman, Allison Jedinak, Lee A. Rosen, and Toni S. Zimmerman, focused on studying the feasibility of teaching fifth graders (11-13 year old) about social justice issues—addressing gender, race, and class issues specifically, at home and at school, and their study is optimistic: it can be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7553" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-05-14T17:57:56.260" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T17:57:56.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12526" CreationDate="2014-05-13T10:39:17.757" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way we deal with my almost-three year old when he interrupts is to remind him the polite way to ask for our attention, every time.  &quot;Mommy and daddy are talking right now; if you want to talk to us, wait for a pause in the conversation and then say 'Mommy, can I talk now?&quot;  Then we confirm that he understands, and go back to talking.  What I think is important about this approach is that we give him the right way to handle the general problem of (&quot;I want Mommy to talk to me&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't ignore him when he does it, for a similar reason to why we don't ignore him when he's hitting us; the interruption is a behavior we want to correct.  However, we don't allow his interruption to keep us from talking, either; we always go back to finishing our conversation (perhaps abbreviated).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is likely a sign of needing attention if it's happening regularly.  We try to acknowledge that when we correct him; we often start with &quot;We know you need our attention sometimes, but it's not okay to interrupt us while we're talking.  We sometimes have to talk to each other, too.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This largely has worked; he usually stops after one interruption now.  Some of this is probably a feature of how much attention he's getting; when we do talk, we make a conscious effort to involve him most of the time.  Some of the improvement, though, has come with his ability to play by himself and talk to himself (verbalizing play).  As that improved, he needed to interrupt  us less.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-13T10:39:17.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12529" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12534" CreationDate="2014-05-13T12:31:50.900" Score="20" ViewCount="4774" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have descended into the toddler years with our first. Along with that, she is getting that classic toddler attitude. We understand it's a growing phase and tantrums and outbursts are normal, but they still need to be addressed so she can get a beginning understanding about what is appropriate when expressing her frustration. We have always been on the same page with each other whenever we correct bad behavior or instruct her on why a type of outburst is inappropriate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So this begs the question, will she feel like we are always ganging up on her? If we are both constantly correcting and instructing in tandem, is that bad? Should one parent act as an advocate while the other is tough on the rules? Should there be a good cop and a bad cop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T20:35:42.547" Title="Does good cop/bad cop work with children?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|tantrums|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12530" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12539" CreationDate="2014-05-13T13:24:47.960" Score="2" ViewCount="308" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 10 week old breastfed daughter doesn’t nap well, or sleep particularly well. She tends to sleep from 11.30pm – 2-3am, then in very short spurts if she is held, with a slightly longer 30 minute sleep around 7am. What can we try and do so she will sleep for longer periods between awakenings at night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following information is for background, in case it impacts on a babies sleep at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She does not nap during the day unless she is in a car, sling or pram. As soon as we bring her back into the house most times she wakes up even if we leave her in her car seat or pram, presumably because she senses a change in environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the evening and night she wants to feed for long durations, in which she may close her eyes but still seems to be feeding. She doesn’t seem unwell, and her weight gain is good after a difficult start when she dropped over 10%. She had her 8 week checkup and inoculations last week with no problems found.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has a short temper and cries very quickly and very loudly if we take too long over changing, or put her down when she is awake but seemingly sleepy. She likes being bathed but by the time she is dried and changed she tends to be crying. Most of the time she needs to be fed in order to be soothed. She is quite happy lying on her back on her playmat interacting with mobiles etc. Our house is well insulated, and temperature varies between 19-21 C. She will tolerate swaddling for the first part of the night, and she seems to sleep for longer when swaddled but we don’t swaddle her during the day. A couple of nights last week we managed to swaddle her and put her into her moses basket awake, and get her to sleep on her own, with lights out and white noise. We haven’t managed this since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She seems to be developing well and gaining weight with this pattern, but it is extremely tiring as there is very little downtime where one or both of us can sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastEditorUserId="7304" LastEditDate="2014-05-14T23:19:45.467" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T23:19:45.467" Title="How to increase the durations of sleep between awakenings at night?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12529" CreationDate="2014-05-13T13:25:10.633" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;Research indicates (see below for some links) that kids actually thrive when the parents present a united front on discipline.  She'll try to test you, to see if she can play one against the other, but knowing that the rules are the rules and what one parent says the other will back up, will give her a sense of security in knowing what to expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology has a pretty good summary here on &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aacap.org/aacap/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/Facts_for_Families_Pages/Discipline_43.aspx&quot;&gt;Discipline&lt;/a&gt;.  For some other reading material, check out this article on PsychCentral, &lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/when-parents-disagree-on-discipline/0001233&quot;&gt;When Parents Disagree on Discipline&lt;/a&gt;.  There's also an article on Today that directly addresses your question: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.today.com/id/18414653/ns/today-parenting_and_family/t/parenting-showdown-moms-vs-dads/&quot;&gt;Moms vs. Dads&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-05-13T13:25:10.633" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12529" CreationDate="2014-05-13T19:57:06.177" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The good cop and bad cop don't necessarily have to be simultaneous.  My church teaches parents that after they reprove their children they should &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/121.43#43&quot;&gt;show an increase of love&lt;/a&gt;, and I've found that to work well.  Both parents can be the disciplinarian and present a stable, united front, then afterward both can be nice and show the child that just because he did a bad thing doesn't mean he is a bad person, or is unloved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, parents are humans too, and taking care of children is trying.  It's nearly impossible never to lose one's temper, but one nice benefit I've discovered about having two parents is that we rarely both lose our temper at the same time.    In those cases, I've found it useful for the calmer parent to intervene when they can see the angrier parent is about to overreact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is in the timing, though.  If you wait too long, it looks like you're &quot;rescuing&quot; the child from the other parent, which undermines their effectiveness.  It works best to either say &quot;I'll handle this,&quot; or &quot;Can you handle this?&quot; before you confront the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-05-13T19:57:06.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12515" CreationDate="2014-05-13T22:19:30.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it the right type of booster?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;First, you need more information about what the brand and model of booster seat they have. A four year old should be in a high-back booster, not a backless/seat-only booster. Also, in my experience, some boosters have a minimum requirement of 30 lb and some have a minimum requirement of 40 lb, which can make a big difference as far as whether a just turned four year old will be the right size and weight for that booster seat. So you definitely want to know what model they have so you can check whether it's appropriate for the size and weight of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Identifying the Seat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In the likely possibility they have no idea what the model is, have them take a couple pictures for you, one of the seat as a whole, and one of any stickers on the bottom/back of the seat. You can look up the model from the manufacturer's website from the info on the stickers, or do a google image search on the brand name and color(s) of the fabric.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Obtain and Read Instruction Manual&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Once you've identified the model, it should be fairly trivial to look up the suggested weights and sizes and other information about it's proper use from the instruction manual on the manufacturer's site. Often a height range is specified, but it is more an approximation than exact, since some children are tall in the torso, but other children are tall in the legs. The important part is the seat belt guide can be adjusted to the height of the child's shoulder. The specs on the carseat (check other websites if not on the manufacturer's site) should tell you the height from the base of the seat to the lowest and highest shoulder strap setting. If it doubt after doing your research, go to your favorite retail store and sit your child on a similar booster seat to double-check.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The instruction manual will have other useful information about safe use of the booster, such as making sure the seatbelt is going across their lap/hips, not their belly button, so read the whole manual to feel confident about how the booster should be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Skip the Buckle Extender&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This is a fairly typical example of a buckle extender:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/33CqQ.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Buckle Extender&quot; /&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For short term use, such as a vacation, I would not bother with obtaining a seat-belt extender. The purpose of a seat belt extender would be to make it easier to reach the buckle from the booster seat, which might be useful if, say, you had a booster seat squished between two other carseats and the buckle was difficult to reach. These are very specific to particular car make and model (and sometimes which seat position). While the  NHTSA does not have any specific information indicating they are unsafe, it does introduce one potential additional point of failure, so I would shy away from using one unless it solves a pressing problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-05-13T22:19:30.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12529" CreationDate="2014-05-13T22:22:45.160" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Classic good-cop-bad-cop is definitely wrong with a toddler because it involves a lot of lying. The bad cop threatens to beat the suspect up or otherwise do something cops are not allowed to do. The bad cop steps out and the good cop says &quot;I'm on your side dude, but that guy is out of control and I don't know what he'll do next. Listen, if you just [....] I think I can get you out of this questioning session and maybe save your skin.&quot; Everything about this is a lie. The good cop isn't on the suspect's side, isn't trying to help the suspect, and knows full well the bad cop isn't ever going to hit, torture, or whatever the threat is. None of this is appropriate with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So let's take a milder version of it. Toddler has made a mess. Last time this mess was made, Daddy yelled a little. Should Mommy say &quot;hurry, let's tidy this up before Daddy comes home and sees it?&quot; No way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK forgot trying to change their behaviors. How about Mommy puts toddler in timeout and afterwards, Daddy lets toddler out with lots of cuddles and fun things to do? Or Daddy puts toddler in timeout and Mommy is the cuddles and fun one? This really isn't any better, is it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would urge you to do is to give away any thoughts of an adversarial stance. You want your child to learn to be in control and not to tantrum. You want your child to comply with reasonable requests, whether that's putting on an item of clothing, helping to clean up, not hitting, or anything else. When your child can do those things, not only will you be happier but your child will too. You don't need to break their spirit, make them give up their resistance, force them to do what you want. You need to show them how to do the things everyone wants them to learn to do. Nobody is a bad cop in that. Nobody is a good cop. You can love your child while you're putting something out of their reach. You can smile and cuddle someone as part of letting them know they are not allowed to do a particular activity. You can be happy and cheerful while carrying a shoeless coatless child to the car (with their shoes and coat in your hands for later) and explaining there isn't time to play on the way now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever these rules are, they should be the rules FOR everybody and BY everybody. If the toddler can't eat before dinner, nor can Daddy. If feet aren't allowed on the couch then that's the rule, not just &quot;if Mommy's looking.&quot; This kind of consistency isn't cruel or ganging up. You are showing your child the &quot;laws of physics&quot; of your home. This is how things go. Trying to understand mommy rules, daddy rules, sitter rules, grandparent rules - that's complicated! Remember, abiding by these rules isn't something mean or unfair, it's how life works in your house. And the toddler is trying to learn that. Make it as smooth as you can, and that includes being consistent, and not seeing the rules as mean. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-05-13T22:22:45.160" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12535" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-14T00:22:20.163" Score="5" ViewCount="2638" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter used to go to sleep nicely. Sometimes, such as when she is overtired, she cries herself to sleep. But this week she learned how to open doors. It is wonderful in terms of development - but now she wont stay in her room to go to sleep. Last night she woke up and played for over an hour outside of our bedroom, waking me up. How do I encourage her to stay in her room?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6876" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-05-14T11:34:07.160" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T22:37:56.110" Title="my daughter learned how to open doors-now refuses to nap/stay in her room-ideas?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6793" CreationDate="2014-05-14T05:58:57.663" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The lovey is a beautiful thing...but its loss is a necessary evil. Obviously this post is IMHO- so here goes my comment&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am 32. My DH is 36. &#xA;My husband is 'Linus' from Peanuts. While many younger readers won't understand that reference I mean to say that my husband is smart and tall and handsome and well adjusted...except for his 'blankie'.&#xA;He gets weird attachments to comforters. No one ever made him put his lovey away. It never &quot;got lost&quot; or got so destroyed it needed disposal. &#xA;He is one of the rare cases in which sociocultural norms did not discourage his blankie use. Broken home + abusive father equated to low self esteem - so there were few friends and thus there was no social pressure to encourage his detachment from the rectangular poly-cotton blend of fabric.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got into a fight this evening because its night time and 60° outside and the windows are open but he was all sweaty and cranky because he was covered with a giant heavy winter duvet that he refuses to put into storage for the summer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a wonderful husband and father. I've read lots of blogs devoted to relational issues and his issues are most certainly NOT as problematic as lots of other wives encounter. He does laundry and washes dishes, he thinks I'm hot after 7 years/two kids/and the 60lbs my thyroid goiter has helped me keep.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;BUT his lovey attachment is much like one to a ratty old recliner that gets put in a man cave...except I'm on the couch while he and his giant heavy winter duvet hog the bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our culture is not designed to tolerate the perpetual use of a lovey unless that attachment is transferred to a (socially deemed) appropriate object such as a lazy boy recliner (For men). &#xA;As for me- my blankie lovey got &quot;lost&quot; when I was seven and I remember feeling the safety and security of the attachment which has only been mirrored by how I feel when my DD's ages 4 and 7 come into my room to snuggle on weekend mornings. &#xA;The point is that the 'lovey' level of  attachment is healthy and helps make social connections but it can also be a crutch and cause social development interruption if not appropriatly mitigated. &#xA;I firmly believe that the lovey's purpose is to teach the feelinng of safety and security BUT it needs to make its exit at an age or developmentally appropriate time to encourage bonding relationship building with people &#xA;Not things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7725" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T05:58:57.663" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12535" CreationDate="2014-05-14T07:44:33.017" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe thease are those situations where you just have to be consistent and patient. Escort her back to her room and her bed every time she comes out from there. Eventually she accepts that this is the way thing go is your household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7727" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T07:44:33.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12535" CreationDate="2014-05-14T09:55:54.503" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There seem to be a couple of things going on here. First off, let's look at some associated issues already answered here on Parenting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/4849/316&quot;&gt;How to handle a tot who does not want to fall asleep&lt;/a&gt; - the accepted answer covers off some key points on bedtime routine and the falling asleep process, and one of the other answers looks at timing and the 'right' amount of sleep for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/46/316&quot;&gt;How can I get my son to stay in bed at bedtime&lt;/a&gt; discusses a four year old, so some of the points aren't directly relevant, although as soon as your child understands enough words, I definitely recommend Jay Bazuzi's &amp;quot;three C's of going to sleep&amp;quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;calm - no rolling around and squirming&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;quiet - no talking, singing, clapping, or kicking the wall&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;comfortable - no standing, or holding a foot in the air, or sitting on a chair&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In another answer to that same question, cabbey makes some good points on exercise and afternoon naps, as these have an effect on how fast children get to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Torben's question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/2416/316&quot;&gt;How do we keep our child in bed&lt;/a&gt; is probably the most useful for you. There are a range of answers from gating the room, controlled crying, having a consistent routine, filling the bed with enough toys to make it a pleasant play environment so the child plays there until they fall asleep etc., but Torben's own answer about what worked for him was very simple:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did not gate the room, we did not fill the bed with toys. We kept putting him back to bed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T09:55:54.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12530" CreationDate="2014-05-14T09:59:58.040" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This seems to be perfectly normal, at least in my experience with 3 kids of my own and having babysat over 10 nieces, nephews, god-children etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything you are describing - sleeping in short spurts, waking up on a change of environment, falling asleep in vehicles or moving buggies etc is par for the course at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is gaining weight well, and her 8 week checkup was good I would not be worrying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always, you can ask your health worker for advice if you are worried, but nothing you describe seems out of the ordinary at all at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T09:59:58.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12530" CreationDate="2014-05-14T11:28:39.237" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had the same issues until around her 13th week, when everything changed for the better:) I was worried about her sleep all the time, since she slept only around 10-13 hours a day. She sleeps more than that now that she's 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the day we took her for walks in a stroller, she fell asleep in it, and we sometimes managed to not wake her up after returning home. She slept for some time in the stroller. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At night - we didn't get much sleep. She fell asleep on our hands, being carried around the house. We sometimes managed to put her to her crib without waking her - see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/10662/how-to-put-a-newborn-infant-to-sleep-to-bed-without-waking-her&quot;&gt;this question on how to do this&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To stay reasonably well-slept and... sane;)... take turns taking care of her. One of you sleeps/eats/rests and the other takes care of the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing we did and are now happy about was always putting her to sleep in her crib. Since her 4th month she has little trouble falling asleep on her own, she needed no sleep training at all. She often does not fall asleep immediately, but she stays calm in her bed and babbles or plays. And then falls asleep. We were consistent from the start and it paid off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T11:28:39.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12541" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12552" CreationDate="2014-05-14T11:52:04.580" Score="4" ViewCount="1585" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6,5 month daughter despises her tummy time. She has to be kept occupied all the time with toys while on her belly, otherwise she starts fussing and, very soon after that, crying. While playing with us, she has little need to crawl, since she's ok and busy where she is. When she's fussing or crying, she won't be trying to crawl, she just tries to roll to her back (not too good at it yet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried to put toys in front of her so that she would try to reach them, but it hardly affects her non-fussy time span. We tried putting her on various surfaces (her mat is not the best for crawling) like a carpet or panel-floor. Didn't make much difference either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-06-07T02:02:42.103" Title="How to encourage the baby to learn to crawl?" Tags="|infant|learning|crawling|motor-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12542" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-14T11:58:24.923" Score="2" ViewCount="284" Body="&lt;p&gt;I play with my daughter on a bed - we roll, tickle, &quot;fly&quot;, laugh. I also started crawling with her. I'm not certain she enjoys it - she seems more intrigued than happy when we're doing this. She does not cry though, has no bruises or any other signs of being hurt or unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this safe? Can I keep doing this? Will this help her learn to crawl?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-01T12:12:51.277" LastActivityDate="2019-04-01T12:12:51.277" Title="Is assisted crawling with an infant safe?" Tags="|infant|safety|teaching|crawling|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12541" CreationDate="2014-05-14T12:20:51.123" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know it's hard to have your daughter pitching a fit at tummy time, and all you want is to keep her happy and let her learn, but let her fuss.  The frustration of tummy time actually encouraged both of mine to start crawling.  Think of it this way; by having her do tummy time, even if she's not a fan, you're encouraging her to find a way to either make it more fun or get away from it.  Both of those can help her find the key to crawling, or cruising, or whatever she decides is her preferred method of locomotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, keep in mind that not all kids crawl, and not all do it soon.  My daughter started scooting around at 9 months but would just go backwards and then get HACKED when she found herself in a corner.  She decided then that crawling wasn't working for her so started pulling up and then walking, just before she turned one.  My son crawled at 6 months and walked at 10 months, because he saw his sister zooming around and wanted to be part of it.  My niece and nephew on my side of the family both skipped crawling entirely and went straight to pulling up, cruising and then walking.  (In other words, kids are weird and do their own thing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T12:20:51.123" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12518" CreationDate="2014-05-14T12:27:22.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He may be not tired enough. You can add more or more intense physical activities to his day. Just make sure it's not directly before sleep time ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7733" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T12:27:22.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12542" CreationDate="2014-05-14T13:28:03.570" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Safe&quot; as in not harmful? Of course. Assuming you're not hurting her, there's minimal risk of physical harm in &quot;forced crawling&quot; around (don't step on her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When babies do crawl, they &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; slam their limbs into the floor, and they very often fall down. It's good to note that your baby's kneecaps are not bone, yet. They are cartilage, so there's a much lower impact on the body when she does move around. As long as she's not resisting or otherwise identifiably unhappy, there's nothing wrong with helping her to experience some more physical movements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7649" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T13:28:03.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12546" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-14T15:02:54.620" Score="10" ViewCount="4211" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 year old son is very active, and changing his diaper is increasingly difficult. I've seen temper-tantrums from some other children we know, but they usually stay put. My son arches, flips and actively tries to crawl away. These are things my wife and I have to do to get things done:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talking to him (perhaps obvious).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;distract him with toys, books, things above him--we have a mobile in his room. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do most of the work standing up, i.e. undress him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pin him down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pinning him down is a last resort, because it aggravates the situation. But sometimes it's needed. I should say, we are gentle, and he's just upset over being restrained. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;House hold objects (&quot;forbidden things&quot;, e.g. cell phone, paper/wrappings he might eat when unsupervised) are sometimes employed too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there anything else that can be done?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son knows the word &quot;No&quot;, but he's only starting to respond to it as I intended it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4494" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T10:21:48.607" Title="How to change an active child's diaper?" Tags="|behavior|diaper|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11648" CreationDate="2014-05-14T15:53:42.227" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good for you, makin te choice to stay home with your son! I bet his language skills have already sky-rocketed!  The thing I've found, being a stay-at-home mom, is that I know my son extremely well. What I'm teaching him in our time together happens naturally from day to day. So today he is interested in dancing, so we dance to some different songs. Tomorrow, maybe we play with drums, the day after we see the garbage truck go by so we watch a couple videos of garbage trucks, and read a garbage truck book, and take out the garbage together. I've also done a few &quot;themes&quot;, especially when I know we will be going on an outing. So- I decided I wanted to get us a fish to take care of. That's a planned outing to the pet store. But first, we watched a couple aquarium videos. We bought a book with a story about a fish. We cut out fishes for the felt board. Made fish faces at meal time! Sang a couple fish songs. All this over the course of a week or so. Then: the big visit to the pet store. He went wild, absolutely lost his little 20-month old mind. And has been helping to take care of &quot;Pete&quot; ever since (that's how he says fish - peekh). We have so much fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7737" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T15:53:42.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12546" CreationDate="2014-05-14T17:15:32.130" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the challenges of the toddler stage is that things that worked one time won't work the next. The flip of that is that things that don't work one time might the next. Doing the whole change standing up worked pretty well for us. For a wet diaper this is totally the way to go. And if you discover it's a dirty diaper, you can explain - &quot;I can't clean this if you're standing, let's lie you down for a quick cleanup.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explaining with a consistent wording &quot;hold still please&quot; rather than &quot;don't wiggle&quot; in the morning, &quot;you're making this take longer&quot; in the afternoon and &quot;hold still&quot; in the evening is sometimes useful. Lots of praise for whatever they do to speed it up such as holding still, lifting their legs, etc. And sure, handing them a toy (unless its one that makes them wiggle) or asking someone else to help you (4 hands sometimes isn't enough for some combinations of mess and wiggling), singing a &quot;hold still&quot; song - whatever works, you do. And tomorrow, you try all the same things again and hope that some of them still work or start working. It will pass, really it will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T17:15:32.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12546" CreationDate="2014-05-14T17:17:00.087" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most kids go through a phase like this.  The key is to move past it.  What you're doing seems reasonable; some kids do need standing changes (especially older ones).  A toy often helps (a car or a train or something) for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things that you can do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Simplify the change.  Use clothes that are easier to work with (onesies with snaps instead of pants, or pants that are easy to put on).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play music during the change.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After the change, if he/she has been good, have some reward. For us, the reward is pushing the doorbell (which hangs up near the diaper table).  This works better at older ages, but our 14 month old has some understanding of it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start the diaper change with tickling or other positive physical stimulation, so it's not all annoyance.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Singing diaper changing songs.  We use &quot;It's diaper diaper time, it's diaper diaper time, it is time for diaper time!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T17:17:00.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12546" CreationDate="2014-05-14T17:26:04.530" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure the changing area is safe.  Floor is best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make lying down part of a game.  Introduce &quot;hide and seek&quot; games - throw thin gauzy material over the face and gently pull it off, sayig &quot;peek a boo!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try introducing music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try seperating the proces out into several distinct steps to reduce discomfort and risk.  Thus, strip clothes then have a break.  Remove nappy and have another break.  Give child a nappy to play with and place new nappy on, then have a break.  Finally re-clothe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This gives you a chance to discover which part is most traumatic for child and to modify that step to make it more acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things to think about are sensory lights - flashing led strips or a mirror ball may help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T17:26:04.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12542" CreationDate="2014-05-14T18:39:11.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't speak to safe, but it's probably not very effective at encouraging crawling.  I doubt there are any studies showing this, but intuitively it doesn't seem useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies will typically crawl when they're physically ready; strength, balance, etc. are all things that just take time.  The main thing you can do for encouraging that along is 'tummy time', to get him/her comfortable with being on tummy and to let the baby start doing some strength exercises (ie, pushing up).  You can also do similar types of strength exercises such as push/pull (where you push against the baby's hand or leg trying to get him/her to push back or similarly pull against pulling), or place objects near but not quite at the baby to encourage him/her to reach or try moving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things definitely do not help with walking/crawling.  Bouncers, for example, are net negatives if used too much, because they assist with balance too much so the baby doesn't learn to balance on his/her own.  &quot;Forced crawling&quot; is probably not a negative as long as it's not done a lot (like an hour a day or something), but similarly it doesn't help the baby actually learn how to do the actions or use his/her own strength to do them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T18:39:11.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12541" CreationDate="2014-05-14T18:51:55.517" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tummy time is not explicitly 'learn to crawl' time.  It is a combination of several things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Building strength and balance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increasing activity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting the baby used to different positions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Usually is more active than back-time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Improve head shape (avoiding 'flat head')&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly give her toys during this period.  Don't push crawling very hard; she'll do it when she's ready, and this time is part of getting ready.  Make sure she's getting plenty of tummy time (a few hours a day at this age), but other than that let her do her own thing.  That's the best thing you can do to help her learn to crawl: let her develop strength and balance, and begin to become more active.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6.5 months is very early to crawl; most babies at our daycare crawled at closer to 8 months, and many took longer than that.  Don't stress too much about it.  Relish this time now, where she stays in one place - once she starts crawling you'll never have a calm moment until college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T18:51:55.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12529" CreationDate="2014-05-14T18:55:36.920" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to go against the grain here and advocate FOR a good-cop/bad-cop approach.  Not always, and not in a cover up/lying scenario like @Chrys illustrates in his answer.  It's my opinion that conflict resolution and negotiation are important skills we have an opportunity to teach our children.  Parents can model these skills with good-cop/bad-cop.  While the roles shouldn't be absolute (switch it up), one parent can act as the disciplinarian, and the other an ally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This by no means should be taken to mean that the parents are any less than a &quot;unified front on discipline&quot;.  It is the parents coming together to negotiate a stance on &quot;dessert policy&quot; that teaches negotiation and compromise.  Sympathizing with a child who has done something wrong can lead them to open up and apologize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feelings of anger and isolation can be pretty awful to deal with, and children need to be taught at a young age what behaviors can help in those situations.  Good-cop/bad-cop can give the parents an opportunity to lend an understanding/non-judgmental ear, while still maintaining the standards that are set in the household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7739" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T18:55:36.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12546" CreationDate="2014-05-14T20:03:09.447" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5 year old son is the same way. He has been unhappy with diaper changes since day one. We tried toys, a wipe warmer, propping him up at an angle in case it was reflux, nothing really helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I eliminated most of the issues by switching to pull-on diapers. We've used Huggies Lil Movers Slip-Ons since he started standing around eight months. I usually go up behind him, strip off the old one (they unfasten like a regular diaper or you can pull them down like pants), then let him step into the fresh one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only time I have to put him on his back is for poopy changes, and he's usually pretty happy to have those cleaned! I have cleaned poos with him standing but it's harder to be sure everything is clean and the process is more finicky. But it's not impossible -- as he's gotten older he's gotten more accepting of the poopy diaper process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're very trim looking, not saggy or baggy. Fit nicely and the pound ranges are pretty accurate (watch or wedgies as a sign it's time to move up). Drawbacks are they're a bit more expensive, only seem to go up to size six, and Grandma sometimes forgets and picks up the plain Lil Movers instead of the Slip Ons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also do a lot of tickles and naming of body parts during changing time. Such a great chance to play with baby toes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7743" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T20:03:09.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12555" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-14T20:20:55.423" Score="2" ViewCount="531" Body="&lt;p&gt;I care for a 11-month-old baby who has two weeks where they arrive at 5:30am and then 2 weeks they arrive at 1pm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the 5:30 shift, the baby should be going to sleep. The mom had said it was normal for the baby to wake between 5 and 5:30 am, have a bottle, and go back to sleep, so I figured I would do same. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I change the baby's diaper and give a bottle, but when the baby is put down for nap the baby just screams his head off until I pick him up. The screams are not scared screams; they are the screams of a frustrated child waiting to get their own way.  This is very evident when I go in and he instantly stops screaming and smiles and motions to be picked up. There are never any tears with the screaming. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what I try: rubs, soft music, white noise, holding them to try to get to sleep, etc., nothing is working. As soon as I pick him up, he is all smiles and giggles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As soon as I walk into the room (yes, I have tried different rooms in the house; it doesn't matter) he stops screaming right away and smiles. There is never a tear in his eyes. I'll go in, lay down the baby, and say &quot;you are ok.  Night night!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can see how exhausted he is, and see that he needs the nap. The baby has dark circles under his eyes, is extremely tired, and yawns all the time. I am becoming seriously concerned for the child because of his lack of sleep. He sleeps fine at night, I am told, and goes to sleep at 7-7:30 pm with no issues, and, for the most part, sleeps through the night until 5-5:30 am. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He/she will lay down on the floor, but just will not sleep for a nap at all. I have spoken to the mom about it, and she says he does it at home too. He has no naps at all during day when not in my care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at wits' end. I have never had a child flat-out not sleep. I have cared for many babies and never have I run into an issue like this. I have other children in my care and it interferes with what we are doing because I constantly am trying to settle this baby in for a nap. The other children do not nap but have quiet time and the baby screams through it. I would hate to have to end care with the family, but I cannot have the other children having to play second fiddle while I am running up and down trying to get a tired baby to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I get this child to settle into sleep for a nap?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7745" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-06-11T12:46:18.757" LastActivityDate="2019-06-11T16:02:39.247" Title="How can I get an 11-month-old I care for during the day to take a nap?" Tags="|infant|sleep-training|babysitting|naps|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12529" CreationDate="2014-05-14T20:35:42.547" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good cop/Bad cop is wrong and will backfire. A united front is critical. That doesn't mean that you have to &quot;gang-up&quot;. I don't agree that rules are (or even should be) the same for adults and children. It's best a child understands early on that there are limits posed that are defined by your age and/or level of responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7746" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T20:35:42.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12558" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-14T21:25:45.750" Score="3" ViewCount="4501" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the last few days my 3yr has suddenly started saying things like &quot;&lt;em&gt;Your not my friend Daddy&lt;/em&gt;&quot; and &quot;&lt;em&gt;Your naughty&lt;/em&gt;&quot; and &quot;&lt;em&gt;I'm telling on you Daddy&lt;/em&gt;&quot;.  At the moment it's not necessarily nasty and he soon forgets he even said it after a bit of distraction etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However we have never said these things to him and I'm wondering if he picked them up from day care or if it's just a natural progression of language and communication?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's picked up from day care, it just got me worried as it means other kids are saying things like &quot;I'm not your friend&quot; to him which I worry could be hurtful to him?  Or it could just be natural playground interaction.  I'm not sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2455" LastEditorUserId="2455" LastEditDate="2014-05-14T23:40:47.997" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T09:38:18.797" Title="Child suddenly saying things like I'm not his friend" Tags="|toddler|daycare|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12542" CreationDate="2014-05-14T22:22:30.127" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Forced anything is not good for your child. Or for your spouse or colleague or anyone else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want more specific feedback, I can give you a child physiotherapeutist's opinion: Don't do it. Let him/her do what he/she feels like doing. No forced crawling, walking or anything, that creates bad movement habbits which take real hard work to fix years later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are truly amazing in doing just what they need to develop themselves without any external motivation. Please let them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7748" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T22:22:30.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12535" CreationDate="2014-05-14T22:37:56.110" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are an anchor in the world for your child. Everything else is changing and moving, which is great, that's what life is, but you are always there, a safe harbour whose plain presence is the most assuring thing in the world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then you took that small human and thrown him into a jail. Sure, there's some plushy stuff or whatever, but that's not toys, that's bullshit for adults. And the doors are locked in this fearful place, and you, that anchor, have walked away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you wonder why does your child try to get closer to you :(.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is coming back to your bedroom (or close to it?), she wants to be closer to you to feel safe. No matter how some architect designed your house. Let her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children have a need for closeness of parent, it's a developmental epoch in their life. As they grow older, they disengage, but please do not force them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's coming back and closer, she hadn't had enough of your presence. Give it to her, and when she has enough, she will disengage naturally. You will notice it by her going to 'her room' to sleep instead of prolonging the evening in order to not to have to be taken there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7748" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T22:37:56.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1500" CreationDate="2014-05-14T22:43:25.770" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are an anchor in the world for your child. Everything else is changing and moving, which is great, that's what life is, but you are always there, a safe harbour whose plain presence is the most assuring thing in the world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then you took that small human and thrown him into a jail. Sure, it looks like a children bed, but for all practical purposes it's a cage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you wonder why does your child try to get closer to you :(. He/she desperately tries to keep the contact and feel the warm of your skin. And you came to the internet to ask how to make him/her not want to be close to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children have a need for closeness of parent, it's a developmental epoch in their life. As they grow older, they disengage, but please do not force them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 1.5 yrs old daughter sleeps with us in the bed. Few months ago she didn't like the idea of sleeping in a children bed just next to the bed (it's fun place for a 5 min play, but you aren't keeping me locked here, riiight?), so we didn't force her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we tried taking off the side of her bed, and putting it side by side to ours, so it's basically one flat area where she can move freely, to her or our bed, and she responded by enthusiastically taking a camp there - that's when I knew it's the right time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she sleeps sometimes in her bed, sometimes on out part and on most nights moves close to us throughout the night :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7748" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T22:43:25.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12464" CreationDate="2014-05-14T22:56:00.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are mirrors of their parents. What is your outlook to the world? Do you worry too much and enjoy too little?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she watch TV or other media where she's confronted with 'dark things' like adults lying, bad things happening etc. (this is 80+% of all stuff on TV, maybe more)? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, that's pretty hard thing to cope with; no wonder it's consuming her and leaking through to her mind and dreams. Please help her by limiting the flow of 'dark adult' stuff (I see no reason why 3 year old should watch TV, use tablet or listen to music that talks with a psychopathic language of power). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And by listening to her about what she has seen and heard and showing her that world is actually a wonderful place!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7748" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-15T00:11:06.653" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T00:11:06.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="127" CreationDate="2014-05-14T23:16:41.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try taking off the side of her bed, and putting it side by side to yours, so it's basically one flat area where she can move freely, to her or our bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried this with out daughter and she responded by enthusiastically taking a camp there - that's when I knew it's the right time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she sleeps sometimes in her bed, sometimes on out part and on most nights moves close to us throughout the night :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7748" LastEditorUserId="105" LastEditDate="2014-05-15T10:38:22.137" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T10:38:22.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="358" CreationDate="2014-05-14T23:23:37.283" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When he wants to - when you offer him his bed (please, make it a bed, not a cage! (cage = bed from which he can't get out by himself)), and he wants to sleep there :). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there will probably be quite transitional phase of 'I like to play in this cool bed for a while, but at night I want to sleep with you in yours'. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7748" LastActivityDate="2014-05-14T23:23:37.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12558" CreationDate="2014-05-15T04:07:35.263" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As always there's a few layers to go through to understand what your boy is dealing with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these are mechanisms for defying you, which is normal and will inevitably happen.  Is this in response to not getting his 3rd cookie? (I exaggerate; children will judge their parents as being unfair no matter what, they just don't understand what is at stake).  As a parent you will have to be the bad guy at times, and he is going to resist.  As he does so you will begin to understand how he deal with his problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In more detail, what he's picking up from other kids and people are two of the many facts of life: Rejection and Discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;&quot;You're not my friend Daddy&quot;&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact is you can't be his friend, his peer.  You will have to make decisions for him because he doesn't have the maturity to make himself, which makes you his superior.  Once into the teenage years you can start taking the friendship seriously, but not until he's an Adult can you truly be peers.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're right, some kid probably said that to him.  As a separate conversation find out which kids he likes, and doesn't like; which ones are his friends, which ones he wants to be friends with, and which kids are mean.  Teach him to self reflect: maybe he didn't share a toy with another kid, and that kid responded with &quot;you're not my friend&quot;.  Teach him to compliment others, this is a powerful tool that works very well with Adults too; &quot;nice toy&quot;, &quot;good idea!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact of real life is people are not always nice to each other.  If you prevent your child from experiencing mean people, they will not learn to deal with real life.  Teach your boy to not get angry, and constructive ways of dealing with mean kids/people.  Avoidance is an option to a small extent.  You can teach your boy about empathy (don't use the word... just teach him to understand how other people might be feeling).  The mean kid might be mean because someone was mean to him.  That's not an excuse, but it diffuses anger lends some compassion and patience to help deal with kids/people like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;H3&gt;&quot;You're Naughty&quot; / &quot;I'm telling on you&quot;&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;These are quite nice ways for him to rebel.  There's plenty of more colorful phrases he could be using to show defiance :).  He needs a way to vent when he thinks things are unfair.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to clarify to him that when an adult calls him naughty or bad that it is his &lt;em&gt;actions&lt;/em&gt; that were naughty, not he &lt;em&gt;himself&lt;/em&gt;.  The important difference is that naughty is not a permanent characteristic, he has the power to control his actions and amend mistakes.  Teach him to &quot;make things right again&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;H3&gt;Reflect&lt;/H3&gt;&#xA;My boy isn't old enough to have a conversation with yet.  But once he is, I plan on making bed time a moment of reflection.  It's a nice time when they are settled and will do anything to keep you there a while longer.  After reading a story, talk about his day and how he felt, what he could have done differently and what he was happy about.  Use your wisdom and maturity to guide the conversation to touch on the lessons to be learned (ie, guide him out of thinking &quot;I should have whacked that kid when I had a chance&quot;).  Maybe even choose the story that fits recent problems he's facing, if he's ready to face them yet; you'll have to decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastEditorUserId="6299" LastEditDate="2014-05-15T09:38:18.797" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T09:38:18.797" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12555" CreationDate="2014-05-15T06:23:59.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say &quot;no matter what has been tried&quot;.  Maybe you're trying too many things.  This kid might have out-smarted you (no offense) and knows you'll come back and try something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The kid needs to be up a bit longer.  After the ride over there's been too much mental stimulation; he/she's not ready to return to sleep and trying to do it too soon results in the ongoing resistance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep close track of the time between trying something different.  Try increasing that time and letting the situation settle in a bit longer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-11T12:47:23.287" LastActivityDate="2019-06-11T12:47:23.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12570" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-15T11:23:25.177" Score="11" ViewCount="2419" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have a 5 month old son, after a rocky start he's settled into an ok routine, especially for bed time (Baby massage, bath and bottle by 7/7:30). We have a problem when visiting my sister though. She has two girls, one 'hyperactive' 5 year old and a very clingy 16 month old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we visit with our son we find that he tends to.. break. He won't settle himself to sleep, he's horribly distracted at feed times and we have to fight to find time and space for him to have any kind of downtime - for naps, feeding or solo play etc. The last time we all met up we drove 3 hrs to meet up at a family fun day at a steam railway and didn't stop moving or being surrounded by noise for a good 8 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem comes at bed time. Our bedtime routine is all about calm and relaxation, with as many 'sleep-time' cues as possible. Bedtime at my sisters is chaos, starting with splashy play in the bath and generaly ending with their youngest crying herself to sleep for between 30-45 mins (it doesn't help that when the whole family visit, they have to put their two girls in together at night and they keep each other from sleeping in the evening).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a close knit 3 generations of family who love to get everyone together but it can take several days for him to bounce back from these trips. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is this - should I expect my sister/other family to take into account my son's young age and need for routine when planning these visits? We can't do anything about the sleeping arrangements for sure but everything else is aimed squarely at the 5 year old with little obvious regard to the affect on my son. Being told to 'not worry about it' listening to my son crying/screaming in his crib because he cant get to sleep, having to feed him on the move because 'that's what I used to do with the girls and they could do it'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend to feel that as my sister has 'been there and done that' with two girls and I'm a new first time father, I can't object too much about the way things are planned but I really worry that me and my wife's hard work getting our boy into a routine is threatened everytime we see family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7751" LastActivityDate="2020-10-02T14:48:04.837" Title="How to deal with visiting a household with very different parenting techniques" Tags="|infant|daily-routine|family-activities|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12570" CreationDate="2014-05-15T14:29:27.607" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the other parents are disregarding your interests and concerns in favor of their own preferred style and interests. Your examples of their statements are &lt;strong&gt;anything but respectful or considerate.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could accept that for an afternoon visit, but I'd not be happy with that arrangement during a multi-day family get-together. It's not about your sister being a bigger expert on children than you are -- if nothing else then at least because every child is different. Just because her style works with her kids, it doesn't mean that style would work for you even if you wanted to try it (and you're implying that her style doesn't work too well either, at least according to your judgment).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your response boils down to how much of a compromise you're willing to accept. &lt;strong&gt;How important is your parenting style vs. the value of being with the family?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you feel that your sister's style is seriously affecting your son, and she isn't willing to dial back and demonstrate some consideration, then &lt;strong&gt;perhaps you should not participate&lt;/strong&gt; in this kind of family events. Instead of being torn between &quot;spending time with your extended family&quot; and &quot;caring for your own family&quot;, you might want to arrange a get-together on your own terms, only including those extended family members that fit your style. If your sister demands to participate, fine -- but only if she accepts your terms just as you accepted her terms last time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...or...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you value the family event and are willing to accept the limited impact on your son, then &lt;strong&gt;accept the way it is.&lt;/strong&gt; Don't fret, don't grit your teeth -- if you don't enjoy it, why participate? Do your best to go along with her style, and do your best to straighten things up when you get home again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I've chosen the former option on several occasions, especially with one or two very young children. Once the children are older, they won't be as affected by the change in routine. &lt;strong&gt;I do what I feel is best for my own family, and if someone doesn't agree with my decision, well, that's their problem, not mine.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time changes everything, including the value I get out of family events. That value may be low while kids are tiny, and rise again as the kids get older. Not participating for a year or three won't mean never participating again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T14:29:27.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12570" CreationDate="2014-05-15T14:39:32.463" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, what you're describing is common even for families with &lt;em&gt;similar&lt;/em&gt; attitudes.  Young children have a tough time dealing with changes, and having to sleep in an unusual bed or sleeping arrangement is hard.  Your baby will probably have trouble even if the two kids were perfectly normal: it's the change in habits that does it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I certainly would expect your sister to take your baby into account to some degree, but I also would remind you to take her children into account.  It's easy to say she should calm her kids down and make them act in a different way, but it's hard to actually do that - particularly when one is sixteen months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would do is try to make a list of things you need for your child's happiness that are reasonably under your control, and tell your sister you are going to do these things.  Not ask; tell.  If you need to massage your son or whatnot, do it.  If you need to feed him in a certain way, do so.  Consider putting a mattress or sleeping bag in his room and one or both of you sleeping there, or getting a bassinet or similar and having him sleep in your room, if you're not already doing that.  You might even consider cosleeping; he's old enough most of the dangers of that have passed, and it might help him sleep more effectively.  (If you do consider cosleeping, do read up on the dangers and benefits, so you're aware of them, if you haven't already; this is a very controversial topic.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever it is, just do it; and if your sister has a problem, remind her that you and your spouse are his parents, and you have to do what you feel is right.  It's easy for parents to say &quot;I did it this way, you can too&quot;, but it's not right for them to do so - and sometimes it takes a gentle but firm reminder.  You're in the right here, and it would be unreasonable of your sister to expect you to do differently, so long as you keep it limited to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as her children go, if they're doing things that make it harder on your son to sleep, you can ask her if there is anything she can do to help - but there may not be, whether it's unwillingness or inability.  Again, try to come up with concrete things; but don't be too pushy about this, and don't be surprised if not much changes.  This is her parenting, and unless it's so bad that you're unwilling to come over at all, you probably should let it mostly alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just make sure you realize that nothing you do is going to make him perfectly happy to sleep there.  He will be harder to get to sleep.  He will have a harder time staying asleep and putting himself back to sleep.  This will improve over time, particularly if you stay over frequently enough that he gets used to the new room; but it will take a year or more likely before that happens.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T14:39:32.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12573" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12574" CreationDate="2014-05-15T19:20:40.003" Score="6" ViewCount="774" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I live several hours away from the rest of our family and they complain that we do not visit often enough and never get to see our 20-month-old son.  He does great on long (3-5 hour) car trips.  We have noticed though that too many of these trips and he begins to freak out when we take him to the car.  We currently try to keep at least 6 weeks in between trips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any sort of guidelines for-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How many hours a month a toddler should be in a car?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How many days with normal daily routines should be in between days with abnormal routines?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After days of reading dozens of articles I am pretty sure this problem is from disrupting his routine too much.  The professionals all seem to agree that toddlers are extremely sensitive to this, and recommend some sort of travel routine to minimize this effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastEditorUserId="7756" LastEditDate="2014-05-19T13:00:16.317" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T16:29:39.417" Title="Too many car trips with toddler" Tags="|toddler|travel|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12573" CreationDate="2014-05-15T19:57:03.237" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers can be in the car for quite a long time, there's no set guideline - it depends on the child. As for routines that also depends on the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think what's happening is that your child is getting bored of long car trips. 3-5 hours is a long time for a child to be sitting without toys or entertainment. I'd suggest getting him some car friendly toys, you could also get a tablet computer and a pouch that hangs off the back of the seat in front. Put a movie on for the long trips. Also, break it up, 2 hours maximum and then you get out for a bit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your family is asking you to make a lot of long trips, maybe it's time to tell them to put their rear ends in a car for a change! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T19:57:03.237" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12570" CreationDate="2014-05-15T20:35:33.687" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind, your nieces' routines are being disrupted as well, and their behavior isn't quite normal in this situation either.  We were in similar situations when our children were younger.  What happened with us was no one was very happy with the situation, but no one wanted to admit they didn't want to fill every possible waking moment with family excitement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did was insist on a few accommodations that we and our children needed for a minimum of sanity, like waking at a later hour, going to bed on time, and having naps and mealtimes at normal times.  The rest of the day was free for family time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we found when we started being assertive and communicating our needs is that we weren't the only ones who felt that way.  Everyone was trying to keep the same schedule as before they had young children, but no one was admitting it was stressing them out and they couldn't keep up.  When we opened the communication, other family members expressed relief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your specific needs may be different, but whatever they are, the point is to communicate them and insist upon them.  Yes you'll get less family activity time, but the time you get will be much more pleasant for everyone.  Yes, your children will still experience some unavoidable disruption, but you can at least mitigate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T20:35:33.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12573" CreationDate="2014-05-15T22:39:59.937" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, car trips are fine below 12 months and above 24, but in the 12-24 range they are frustrating.  That's because the child is mobile and wants to be moving around, but not intellectually mature enough to do the sort of creative play things you can do as an older child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My almost-3 year old is fine on long car trips now (we're 7 hours from grandma), because he sings, he makes up stories, he &quot;reads&quot; his books, and he plays with the iPad.  When he was younger, in that window, he was really frustrated by the trip because he didn't want to do anything except run around and jump and climb - and you can't do that on a car.  I suspect my now-14 month old will have the same difficulties the next time we take a trip (July, probably).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would limit trips until he's a bit older, and you can realistically get a better driving experience for him then.  See if relatives can come visit you, or just let them know politely that it's best if you limit trips to two or three a year for a bit until he's happier on the trip.  I wouldn't necessarily worry about frequency together - for example, Thanksgiving and Christmas are probably fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-15T22:39:59.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12577" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12595" CreationDate="2014-05-15T22:49:54.210" Score="6" ViewCount="1329" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two children, 33 months and 14 months old.  They're both tall for their age, very physical types; climbing, running, etc.  They both like to play with vehicles of all sorts, balls, ride on trikes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That all sounds like a great recipe for kids getting along - except that the older one resists playing with his younger brother, because the younger one isn't able to play 'properly' yet, and just breaks the train tracks, throws toys, etc. - all things you expect a 14 month old to do, really, but not something a 33 month old can handle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We still want them to play together, though, and are trying to think of ways to help them play together at this age such that they can both enjoy it.  Sometimes reading books together works, although the younger one resists that some - he wants reading time to be him-only, as older brother will otherwise take over.  Playing at the park ends up in parallel play, but at least it's nearby.  Other than that, though, in terms of in-the-house stuff there doesn't seem to be much that works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What strategies can we employ to help older brother cope with the difficulties playing with younger brother can pose?  What kinds of activities might be more successful?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-18T15:40:00.273" Title="Encouraging older brother to play with younger brother" Tags="|toddler|siblings|play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12577" CreationDate="2014-05-16T02:46:15.840" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe don't push it, they might start to resent each other.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They'll surely end up doing something together, which you can note and encourage.  With age they will surely start to enjoy each other more.  I remember family games of monopoly with my younger sister by 21 months.  Not sure what the 14month can play... rock, paper scissors?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point you might take the opportunity to teach understanding, acceptance, patience... and how to deal with others that don't do what you want :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastActivityDate="2014-05-16T02:46:15.840" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12570" CreationDate="2014-05-16T12:56:05.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may sound callous, but &lt;em&gt;skip the trip&lt;/em&gt;. My wife's family likes to get together a lot, and that's cool, but our kids have a &lt;em&gt;strict&lt;/em&gt; 7:30pm bedtime, at which they must be home, in the bed. If that's not possible, then we don't participate, or one of us will go and the other stays home with the kids. As others have said, this is b/c children need those habits formed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're a little more lenient with the 2 year old than her infant sister, b/c she's been on the routine for a lot longer, but even then, if we're out and about, and it's too long past that bedtime, she starts to get fidgety, which == sleepy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With both our children they don't/won't sleep away from home for at least the first year. Partly b/c we're clingy, but again, it's all about habits. Strange environment, likely to be off a little on the routine, it all adds to that stressed. And if our kids are up, then &lt;em&gt;we're&lt;/em&gt; up, not cool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like I said, it may sound callous, but in the end &lt;em&gt;you're&lt;/em&gt; the two who have to deal with a cranky baby that can't sleep. I give my wife all the credit, after 1 month with our first child we put her on a bedtime routine, and she's been sleeping through the night ever since about 2 months old. She'd wake up to eat and go right back to sleep, and we only changed #2 diapers in the middle of the night, &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; feeding. After a year, we may have had to 'deprogram' her once or twice after spending the night at grandma's, but it wasn't a big deal, we just let her cry it out, &lt;em&gt;at 7:30&lt;/em&gt; :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastActivityDate="2014-05-16T12:56:05.590" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12515" CreationDate="2014-05-16T14:05:07.867" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do I need a seat belt extender?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No.&lt;/strong&gt; You would only really need this if your car's seat belts aren't long enough to accommodate your son in the booster seat. Otherwise, if it works fine without then do without -- it's one less failure point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Can I tell if my son fits in the booster seat safely just by looking at him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No.&lt;/strong&gt; You can check the operating instructions to see whether there are precise illustrations of where the straps should be (especially in the shoulder/neck area). But if you want to be really safe, visit your region's automobile association and have them look at your son's seated position. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In practicality, if you only need this during a vacation stay, then I'll revise my above answers to &quot;no, and yes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-05-16T14:05:07.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2388" CreationDate="2014-05-16T16:49:56.957" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The weight charts are an awful tool. They are a variant of BMI which has probably done far more harm than good in the effort to reduce obesity. Two girls (or boys) can have the same height, but if you measure across their shoulders, their skeletons are clearly different. One may be 50% wider than the other. The BMI numbers will be far different for these two kids who are the same fitness, yet the 'wide' one will measure as overweight even if she has no belly, and is all muscle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The charts used for kids are as bad as BMI,making no adjustment for body type /frame width. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3706" LastActivityDate="2014-05-16T16:49:56.957" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12585" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-17T10:25:20.153" Score="9" ViewCount="5531" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son (now nearly 6.5 years old) has problems with potty training for years now. (The long history is described here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2209/how-can-we-potty-train-our-pre-schooler-outside-the-home&quot;&gt;How can we potty-train our pre-schooler outside the home?&lt;/a&gt; ).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Remarks:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are in regular contact with a doctor specialized in such problems and her diagnosis is &quot;encopresis with obstipation&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We still have those problems, at least every second day on average he is soiling between 1 and 7 underpants. That's ok for us, but the main problem is that when it happens, he does not try to clean himself immediately or tell the kindergarten teachers or us to help him, but very often he just ignores it and continues playing/&quot;working&quot;/whatever he does and often even does not admit it if he's directly asked if he has dirty underwear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We think that this makes things even worse, as it smells for sure and other people notice it and the other kids are making fun of him for that reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But although he is very clever and comprehensible in other matters, it happens very often, that he tries to hide it and continue as if nothing had happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That makes it very frustrating for his parents and we are not sure how to handle it, as every attempt to &quot;motivate&quot; him acting on it immediately has failed - positive motivation as well as negative one (negative consequences).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that this is a very sensitive and difficult topic - more than ever as because we had a lot of arguments and hot discussions with him in the past. But it feels wrong to just let him do what he wants (and at worst run around the whole day with his smelling pants) - also as cleaning him(self) is much easier and faster as long as it is &quot;fresh&quot; ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any hints are appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In autumn, he'll go to school, which might make things even more complicated as there will be nobody any more who feels responsible for helping him clean himself...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Additional remarks:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure, why he so often refuses to tell us directly, when he soiled his pants. Some ideas (maybe it is often a mixture of several reasons or even something else...):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He does not want to interrupt his play/activity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He does not want that other people notice it&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(however we do everything to help him and to avoid that others notice it, if he tells us)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He sometimes might be so concentrated on his activity, that he really does not notice it directly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maybe he did not tell it us for some of the above mentioned reasons and then is ashamed that he did not tell it directly and tries to ignore or hide it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maybe he's trying to ignore it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Defiance - some days ago he said, the more often we remind him to &quot;tell us as soon as it has happend&quot;, the less he would do so... I decided and promised to him to not mention it again for some weeks. The months/years before, we (parents) had reminded him several times a day to tell us - especially before &quot;critical&quot; situations, where it would be especially difficult to clean him or where the &quot;damage&quot; might be significant&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked him, if there are situations, where he feels, that he must go to the toilet but would rather keep playing/crafting/doing what he currently does. He said something like &quot;not many&quot;, but maybe he just says what he knows is best for him ... I'm not sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are, however, also times when he tells us... we had one such &quot;accident&quot; in public transportation, where he directly told us that there was poo on his seat (shock), it was so much that it had even &quot;jumped&quot; out of his pants. Thanks to his quick reaction, we could clean it and search a place where to clean him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T11:34:58.577" Title="Encopresis: how can we encourage our child to clean himself or ask for help immediately instead of ignoring the dirty underwear?" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|potty-training|encopresis|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12586" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-17T21:53:48.947" Score="4" ViewCount="460" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of our peers have recommended we take our 10 week old daughter to see a Cranial Osteopath, due to some sleeping issues and general crankiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried searching the web for an unbiased scientific explanation of the benefits of this therapy, but am finding many quasi-medical shill sites which leave me skeptical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this technique 100% safe for very young babies? What is it, and why how is it supposed to help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T00:08:30.400" Title="What is cranial osteopathy?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12570" CreationDate="2014-05-17T21:59:18.533" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been at numerous family occasions where either WE were ready for bed, or our 3 year old daughter was ready for bed and yet there still screaming kids running through the house. The solution we finally came up with was to either stay in a hotel, or hit the road before bedtime. My family has never looked at us strange.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7760" LastActivityDate="2014-05-17T21:59:18.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12586" CreationDate="2014-05-17T22:06:28.767" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is what Wikipedia had to say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The evidence base for CST is sparse and a demonstrated biologically&#xA;  plausible mechanism is lacking. In the absence of rigorous,&#xA;  well-designed &lt;a href=&quot;http://guideline.gov/content.aspx?id=34414&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;randomized&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bcbst.com/mpmanual/Craniosacral_Therapy.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;controlled trials&lt;/a&gt;, it has been&#xA;  characterized as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1140750&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;pseudoscience&lt;/a&gt;, and its practice called&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.quackwatch.com/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/cranial.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;quackery&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Linked to two deaths&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Relying on CST instead of effective treatment can be dangerous.&#xA;  Moreover, its practice indicates poor judgement that may harm patients&#xA;  in other ways. At least two deaths associated with craniosacral&#xA;  therapy have been reported:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In 2003, a Pennsylvania chiropractor (Joann A. Gallagher) was convicted of insurance fraud in connection with the death of a&#xA;  30-year-old epileptic woman whom she treated with cranial therapy.&#xA;  Court documents indicated that the patient died of severe seizures&#xA;  after following the chiropractor's advice to stop taking her&#xA;  anticonvulsive medication. The fraud involved submitting insurance&#xA;  claims falsely describing Upledger's &quot;meningeal balancing&quot; as spinal&#xA;  manipulation &lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20140327022448/http://www.chirobase.org/16Victims/gallagher.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;[8]&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In 2012, a Missouri dentist (Joseph H. Kerwin) had his license revoked for contributing to the death of a 2-day-old infant who had&#xA;  been brought to him because of a high fever. Records in the case&#xA;  indicate that instead of referring the parents to a medical facility,&#xA;  he manipulated the child's skull and applied a vibrating machine to&#xA;  his sacrum. The boy died 12 hours later, and the autopsy showed that&#xA;  he died from complications of a subdual hematoma (a blood clot that&#xA;  compressed his brain). The medical examiner concluded that the&#xA;  hematoma could have been present at birth but was more likely caused&#xA;  by the skull manipulation. The dental board concluded that Kerwin had&#xA;  acted outside the scope of dentistry &lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20130202220738/http://casewatch.org/board/dent/kerwin/order_2012.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;[9]&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7760" LastEditorUserId="7760" LastEditDate="2014-05-18T16:25:07.430" LastActivityDate="2014-05-18T16:25:07.430" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12589" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-18T01:43:55.043" Score="2" ViewCount="446" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Summary:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;an older child (in school) is 99% of time OK with the fact that sometimes he gets to go to school on days the younger child stays at home. This includes 100% rational agreement from him that there are good reasons for that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes (rarely) on those days he would have a major meltdown and refuse to go to school when it's time to leave, specifically because the younger one stays home.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What's a good way to handle such meltdowns?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Details:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have 2 kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older one is in elementary school. They have only a limited amount of days allowed for absences in school year, all of which we usually use for sick days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The younger one is in preschool (meaning there's no such restriction).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, school and preschool do NOT share 100% days off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In practice, it means that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When the older kid's school is closed and younger isn't, we keep them both home (for good reason&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When older kid's school is open and younger is closed, younger one stays home but older one isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On &lt;strong&gt;some&lt;/strong&gt; of the latter days (not all), the older one has major meltdowns right when it's time to go to school, and refuses to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What's a good way to handle such meltdowns?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The meltdowns are extremely impactful, because being late for school costs him tardiness points (that detract from his available off days); AND there are health risks to leaving for school after meltdown for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Important notes:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;100% of time outside those meltdowns, the older one is 100% in agreement with us that it's correct thing to do. He knows very well all the reasons for it, can recite them back and agrees with them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He never voices any issues until it's time to dress for school on those days. As in, we would have a conversation 1 hour before about it, and he would calmly reconfirm that yes, he knows the younger one will stay home, and he's fully OK with it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He almost never has before-school meltdowns on OTHER days (when they both have to go). I'd say &quot;younger stays home&quot; account for ~80% of meltdowns before school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's not simply about &quot;we have to separate instead of play together&quot;, because he never has issues when attendance is reversed (he stays home and she goes).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He has some sibling rivalry and jealousy issues in general, but they aren't endemic. But he's very receptive to reasoned arguments over what is and isn't fair.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Footnotes&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1] We get to pay less for preschool for that; AND more importantly it saves whichever parent stays with them ~1-1.5 hours of commute time..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-05-18T01:49:47.340" LastActivityDate="2021-10-05T16:49:32.733" Title="How do I deal with acute cases of &quot;stay at home envy&quot;?" Tags="|school|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12590" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12594" CreationDate="2014-05-18T02:04:02.920" Score="7" ViewCount="300" Body="&lt;p&gt;In order to dissuade my kids from lying to cover up when they did something bad, I have long adhered to the policy (made clear to the kids) that whatever the bad thing they did, and whatever the punishment for it I consider appropriate, - if they lie to cover up the bad deed, they will get &lt;em&gt;extra&lt;/em&gt; punishment for lying, and that punishment is usually at least twice as harsh as one for the bad deed itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g. if they would ordinarily get &quot;No TV for a day&quot; for some behavior; lying about it gets them &quot;No TV for a day PLUS no TV for 2 more days for lying&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any research that addresses whether this is an effective strategy for long-term dissuasion of lying by the kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm NOT looking for personal experience anecdotes, only research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2019-01-12T07:17:01.933" Title="Is there any research on whether punishing more for lies is effective?" Tags="|discipline|lying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12591" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12592" CreationDate="2014-05-18T03:45:11.057" Score="1" ViewCount="113" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-day-old newborn constantly needs to be fed. It is affecting my girlfriend's sleep. We started pumping and bottle feeding but the baby still demands a lot. I've heard that this is common at the two week mark because of a growth phase. Since he was 1.5 weeks overdue, could he already be in that phase?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-18T04:30:45.970" LastActivityDate="2014-05-18T04:40:03.217" Title="Already in growth phase?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12591" CreationDate="2014-05-18T04:40:03.217" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies eat. Babies eat a lot. Newborn babies eat a lot more than older babies. These are just the simple truths of raising children. Right now, your child has a very small stomach. They can't store as much food as we can and thus need to eat more often. Also, breast milk digests quickly, thus contributing to the need for more food, more often. This has little to do with a current growth phase. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby will be in a consistent growth phase for the next 17 years 11 months and 27 days and even on after that. Our most recent baby is about a month and a half old already and he still requires (almost) continuous feeding. I know it is tiring but it is just part of having children. If your girlfriend is tired, find some way to help out; perhaps take over feeding with the bottle and let her catch some shut eye. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This part doesn't last long. Give it a couple of more months and you will find you have a different reason for not getting any sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-05-18T04:40:03.217" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12590" CreationDate="2014-05-18T14:18:03.320" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;A study conducted by Talwar and Lee shows that harsher punishment only teaches children to lie &quot;better&quot; to avoid punishment. But it doesn't reduce lying &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.child-psych.org/2011/11/liar-liar-pants-on-fire-how-punishment-can-affect-children%E2%80%99s-honesty.html?utm_source=feedburner&amp;amp;utm_medium=email&amp;amp;utm_campaign=Feed:%20ChildPyschologyAndParentingResearch%20%28Child%20Pyschology%20and%20Parenting%20Research%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this study 46 children of two different schools had to do a “temptation resistance paradigm” tests. It was an object guessing game, where the instructor left the room and the children had the chance to peek. Almost every child did so.&#xA;One of these schools was labeled punitive, the other non-punitive. Only half of the children from the non-punitive school lied about their actions (56%), while almost everyone from the punitive school lied (94%).&#xA;The children from the punitive school where also five times more likely to cover up their first lie with another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The researchers concluded that harsher punishment not only increases lying, but also makes children learn more advanced ways to cover up their lies and avoid punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following study fits even better what you are looking for: &lt;a href=&quot;http://nymag.com/news/features/43893/index2.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also used the temptation resistance game, but this time the researcher read the child a story. Either &lt;em&gt;The Boy Who Cried Wolf&lt;/em&gt; (punishment for lying), or &lt;em&gt;George Washington and the Cherry Tree&lt;/em&gt; (reward for telling the truth).&#xA;The question was which of the books would reduce lying more. &#xA;&lt;em&gt;The Boy Who Cried Wolf&lt;/em&gt; didn't reduce the lying at all.&#xA;&lt;em&gt;George Washington and the Cherry Tree&lt;/em&gt; on the other hand reduced it by 43%.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These studies show that it might have a much better long-term-effect to reward telling the truth. E.g. instead of doubling the punishment for lying it might be a better idea to half the punishment for telling the truth. However, I personally prefer to make children experience the natural consequences for their behaviour instead of setting up punishments that don't have to do anything with what they had done wrong. If a child lies to me, they loose my trust and have to earn it back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good guidelines for dealing with lies are also here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://childrenscenter.sa.ucsb.edu/CMSMedia/Documents/ParentSupport/LyingAndDishonesty.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1290" LastEditorUserId="1290" LastEditDate="2019-01-12T07:17:01.933" LastActivityDate="2019-01-12T07:17:01.933" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12577" CreationDate="2014-05-18T15:40:00.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try activities where the older brother's more advanced skills help younger brother do something at his skill level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have older brother build block towers for younger brother to knock over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They could play peek-a-boo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older brother could &quot;teach&quot; little brother about body parts (cheeks, chin, elbow, hand, foot, etc) by pointing at and gently touching an appendage of baby's while saying the name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Singing songs for the baby is sometimes quite entertaining for baby too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, many of the games designed for adults to play with babies can be adapted for an older sibling to play with the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I would also suggest having a safe place for older brother to play big kid things where little brother can watch but not &quot;help&quot; with trains or legos or whatever else he doesn't want knocked over. We put a superyard around the &quot;big kid&quot; play area, and everything else in the living room is fair game for little brother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-05-18T15:40:00.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12596" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-18T19:27:18.170" Score="0" ViewCount="612" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the preschool/early elementary school age, it seems that in USA most birthday parties are held at some sort of party venue (e.g. bowling, minigolf, bounce castles, build-a-bears).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, at certain age, that stops being the trend and birthday parties at home become acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there information on what age the at-home parties become the norm in USA instead of party venues? I'm assuming it's based on an age when kids can entertain themselves, but that's just a random guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-05-19T10:39:04.103" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T12:34:00.813" Title="At what age is it OK in USA to hold a birthday party at home instead of a party venue?" Tags="|birthday|party|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12586" CreationDate="2014-05-18T20:02:21.633" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The following is not a recommendation one way or the other, but a sharing of information to help you make your own decision in this matter. This is a lay interpretation of the article cited below which is a review of research into cranial osteopathy, a practice that has not been proven to be beneficial but for which there are thousands of practitioners with satisfied patients worldwide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The body has many rhythmic systems. The cranial rhythmic impulse (CRI) has a rate of  6-15 cycles per minute. It is slower than the heartbeat and asynchronous with breathing. Recent research suggests that CRI may be synchronous with the rhythms of fluctuations in arterial blood pressure (Traube-Hering-Mayer waves or THM). Currently, there is no mechanism for measuring CRI - it is done by hand. A skilled osteopath will have consistency in his own measurements, but there are variations from osteopath to osteopath which suggest some unreliability in measurement (and the need to find an experienced osteopath if you go this route).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The questions currently being asked of cranial osteopathy for which more research is needed are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can the CRI rhythms actually be measured reliably by hand?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can the CRI rhythms be altered by gentle manipulation of the cranial and sacral bones?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will such manipulation have a positive effect on the patient?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I received cranial osteopathic treatments as an adult. In the treatment I received, sometimes the osteopath would have her hands under my head as I lay on a table, and occasionally she worked in the roof of my mouth, around the occipital bones or underneath my hip bones. She applied a very gentle pressure. Her goal as I understood it was to even out this rhythm of movement of cerebrospinal fluid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found the procedure very calming, but I cannot say that it helped me medically - it may have contributed to an improvement in well-being, but other factors may have been responsible. I have met people who swear by it, especially for infants. I have not researched infant cranial osteopathy specifically. It is a common practice in some countries, and was covered by insurance where I lived at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ferguson, A. (2003) &lt;a href=&quot;http://faculty.une.edu/com/jnorton/PDFfilesCranial/CranialPhysiology.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;A review of the physiology of cranial osteopathy&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;em&gt;Journal of Osteopathic Medicine&lt;/em&gt; 6(2):74-88.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-05-18T20:02:21.633" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12596" CreationDate="2014-05-18T20:36:32.790" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, the definition of &quot;OK&quot; will vary, but I have never held my daughter's birthday parties at a venue.  She wasn't interested in it and I don't like them anyway.  Doing something at home gave us the freedom to do her party however we wanted and allowed for great creativity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There aren't any laws, of course.  And I've never heard of any &quot;rules&quot; about home vs venue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do what feels right for your family.  That would be the only rule I would care about if I were you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-05-18T20:36:32.790" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12599" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-19T01:35:39.800" Score="19" ViewCount="27644" Body="&lt;p&gt;One option for a babysitter is finding an older child (teenager) in your neighbourhood. The benefits are obvious (you get to know the family, so there's more trust).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But is it truly safe to leave children with someone who isn't considered by society at large to be mature enough for many decisions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Specifically, my question is: Are there some sort of statistics/studies on the relative safety of using a teenage schoolkid babysitter vs. a professional adult one?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, I know it depends largely on a person, and there are 16 year olds more responsible than a large set of 20 year olds. But I'm interested in the overall trend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-24T12:17:20.700" LastActivityDate="2018-10-24T12:17:20.700" Title="What is considered to be a safe age to be a babysitter?" Tags="|research|babysitting|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2014-05-19T02:11:36.403" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know that this question is really answerable, because significant injuries or deaths while in the care of babysitters are very, very rare.  There aren't enough to really compare adults to immature babysitters from what I found, and further the age will likely not be recorded in most cases where it is an accident (and nobody is charged criminally).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there have been at least two studies out of Penn State University on the preparedness of 11-13 year old babysitters, which suggests that many of them are reasonably prepared - but does point to the biggest risk, that of lack of attentiveness.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/101003081450.htm&quot;&gt;This 2010 study&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22589478&quot;&gt;This 2012 version&lt;/a&gt; both suggest that half or so of those surveyed (11-13 year old babysitters in Pennsylvania) are CPR trained, most had first aid training.  Ten percent had called 911 at some point.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say based on that, the age of your child is highly relevant.  I wouldn't necessarily let an 11 or 12 year old watch my 2 year old; but when he's 5 or so, and both able to mostly take care of himself, and able to talk to me about the experience with the babysitter, I would probably feel comfortable with someone that age.  Given attentiveness is the biggest issue, I want my children to be old enough that a half hours' inattentiveness isn't likely to cause physical harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T02:11:36.403" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12601" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12718" CreationDate="2014-05-19T02:19:08.427" Score="1" ViewCount="155" Body="&lt;p&gt;My youngest (14 months) has started showing signs of either strabismus or ambylopia (both commonly referred to as &quot;lazy eye&quot;, where one eye seems to track differently than the other when the child is tired or isn't focusing).  We're going to see an ophthalmologist once the pediatrician weighs in and recommends one, and I'm interested in suggestions for what I should look for in an ophthalmologist, and in what we should do to prepare for the visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Particularly, how important is it that we find one that specifically mentions these conditions as things they specialize in?  They're fairly common conditions (affecting over 4% of children), so I would expect most pediatric ophthalmologists to have as one of their main purposes helping to diagnose and treat lazy eyes; but many do not mention them in their list of specializations.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, in terms of preparation, do we need to keep track of time or length of lazy eye bouts?  Should we take any videos?  Our pediatrician hasn't noticed this in her periodic checks, but I suspect that he's more focused during these visits (a person he's not that used to, who is talking a lot to him).  I worry the ophthalmologist will have the same problem - not be able to diagnose because of lack of presentation during the visit.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="1290" LastEditDate="2014-05-29T11:20:06.783" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T11:20:06.783" Title="Lazy Eye in Infants, Preparations for Seeing a Specialist" Tags="|toddler|eyes|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2014-05-19T06:54:16.030" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The NSPCC (UK child protection charity) recommends that no-one under the age of 16 is used as a babysitter.  If a person under the age of 16 is used as a babysitter the parents of the child, and not the babysitter, remain responsible for any harm that happens to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.eastsussex.gov.uk/childrenandfamilies/childcare/default1.htm&quot;&gt;http://www.eastsussex.gov.uk/childrenandfamilies/childcare/default1.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an example where a mother accepted a police caution (which means she admits guilt) because she left a 14 year old to babysit his 3 year old brother for 30 minutes. (Although I think she should have got a free solicitor and not accepted the caution.  I wouldn't think that she'd have been found guilty at court). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12380329&quot;&gt;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12380329&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These links do not directly answer your question, but they suggest that older is better and they suggest that 16 is a minimum unless the babysitter is a relative and the time is short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, siblings are responsible for most abuse (more than parents, step-parents, other relatives, and strangers) and that is something that needs to be considered.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibling_abuse&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibling_abuse&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T06:54:16.030" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12596" CreationDate="2014-05-19T08:49:49.763" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't answer for USA, but in the 4 European countries I've lived in, &quot;parties at venues&quot; is a rare thing for below-teens, and typically the kids don't care as long as they have fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've certainly never heard of any &lt;em&gt;requirement&lt;/em&gt; to hold a party at a venue instead of at home. I've attended and arranged several preschool birthdays in people's apartments, living rooms, back yards, in public parks, etc. -- all great fun with no property damage or problems. It strikes me as something that businesses have invented, rather than there being a legitimate social or practical reason. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an adult, I've been go-carting etc., but as a kid -- especially toddler/preschool! -- I see no &lt;em&gt;reason&lt;/em&gt; to spend $$$ on a venue. This must be a regional thing, or perhaps related to affluence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T08:49:49.763" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2014-05-19T09:51:50.877" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Curious if this is country-specific. My 15 year old has been sitting for others for 4 years now. The duration and end times have changed, at 11, we weren't going to let her agree to sitting till midnight, for example, but an early dinner for the parents, home by 9PM or so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even now, she sits for parents of friends whose daughter is the same age, but not mature enough to watch her own younger siblings. Legality aside, maturity is what matters, before even considering a young person to babysit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note - early on, she offered 'mother's helper' services. This was for the mom who had work to do from home, or was entertaining, and wanted help, but would still be at the house. These same moms became comfortable enough that by age 12, they hired her for sitting with no adult home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3706" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T09:51:50.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12608" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-19T10:47:52.597" Score="7" ViewCount="513" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes (too frequent for my liking) when questioned &quot;Why did you do this 100% prohibited or simply boneheaded thing&quot;, my 6- and 8-year-old kids' response is &quot;he/she - pointing at the sibling - told me to do it&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that, BOTH of them fully and immediately agree that they BOTH knew at the time that they were explicitly prohibited from doing whatever was done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is this sort of behavior dangerous? To me, this projects to the future as being more susceptible to peer pressure in negative situations, AND as a major sign that parental opinion and authority is held pretty low (&quot;Didn't we discuss yesterday that when mother tells you one thing and your sister the opposite, you listen to your &lt;strong&gt;mother&lt;/strong&gt;?&quot; &quot;Yes&quot;. &quot;So, why did you do it when she asked&quot;? &quot;I donno&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What are good strategies to curb that pattern? I would estimate that they get up to no good at least 2-3 times more often when they are together than when they are alone. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The interesting thing is that it's not ALWAYS younger or older following the other's bad ideas. They both do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-20T13:25:23.263" LastActivityDate="2021-09-30T12:50:23.370" Title="How should I handle &quot;he/she told me to do it&quot; excuses from siblings?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|social-development|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2014-05-19T11:34:19.003" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends. Depends on lots of factors. How long will the babysitter be in charge? What exactly will be expected of the babysitter? How well does the babysitter handle this kind of responsibility?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe 13 is generally considered a suitable age to start babysitting where I live, but that doesn't mean every 13 year old will be a suitable babysitter. I believe our babysitter started at 12 (which my wife whispers whenever she mentions it, so I guess she really believes it's technically too young), but she is smart, mature for her age, and as far as we know, she handles responsibility well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course we started her out easy: we put our kid (2 or 3 at the time) in bed, and then we go out while the babysitter stays. When anything happens, she calls us. We are not terribly far away, and the babysitter's parents live in the same building, so experienced adults are never more than a few minutes away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she gained experience and got a bit older, they ate together and she put him in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, while we call it &quot;baby&quot; sitting, an actual 0-year old baby requires adult supervision. The better kids can handle themselves, the less the babysitter has to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7767" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T11:34:19.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12610" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12612" CreationDate="2014-05-19T12:17:30.703" Score="8" ViewCount="1430" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pennlive.com/living/index.ssf/2014/01/post_12.html&quot;&gt;Crazy sports parents&lt;/a&gt;.  How do you deal with them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard of everything from parents screaming obscenities at players on the opposing team, their own team, or even their own kids, to actual fights breaking out between parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Comments like &quot;my 4 year old could do better!&quot; or &quot;don't sub &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; in; he's terrible!&quot; seem to be becoming more common  coming from the stands during youth sport events.  Verbal, or even physical, abuse, aimed at the referees and coaches seems to be even more common?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is playing in a team event, and some other kids' parents start criticising their play, how do you respond?  What do you say to your kid?  What, if anything, do you say to the offending parent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What about if the abuse is aimed at another kid, or even a coach or referee? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-05-21T13:16:33.087" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T13:16:33.087" Title="How do you handle poor sportsmanship from other parents during your child's sports events?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|middle-childhood|sports|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2014-05-19T13:02:38.650" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My question is, is it truly safe to leave children with someone who isn't considered by society at large to be mature enough for many decisions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is: it depends (I know, I hate that answer!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of factors to consider:  How old is your child?  How prepared and educated is your babysitter?  Are there any medical concerns or other specific needs for your child?  How long will you be gone?  Is there anyone you can have stop in to check up on how things are going?  Can you call periodically for status updates, or have the babysitter text you?  How quickly can you get back in case something goes wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these can influence just how safe it is to leave a child with a babysitter, regardless of the age of the sitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be hesitant, at best, to leave an infant, or even a toddler, with a younger sitter, but if my child was old enough to be in school, I might be more comfortable with a teenage sitter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The closer I could monitor the situation, and the faster I could intervene if necessary, the more comfortable I would be with a younger sitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Red Cross provides a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/program-highlights/babysitting-caregiving&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;babysitter certification course&lt;/a&gt; that seems at least somewhat reputable (for example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/babysit.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;University of Michigan's Health System website&lt;/a&gt; recommends it).  This course is aimed for students 11 and older (note that even U of M's website recommends against having children under the age of 12 babysit), and they even offer supplemental courses (and certificates) in pediatric first aid and CPR.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22589478&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; referenced in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/12600/420&quot;&gt;Joe's answer&lt;/a&gt; concludes that while middle school-aged babysitters will likely encounter common household emergencies and therefore benefit from first aid training, very little difference in safety knowledge was found between trained and untrained babysitters.  This puts into question the effectiveness of the training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are there some sort of statistics/studies on the relative safety of using a teenage schoolkid babysitter vs. a professional adult one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was unfortunately unable to find any.  That doesn't mean such a study doesn't exist, but I imagine it would be very difficult to find relevant data from which to derive such a study.  In order to do such a study, there would need to be a way to correlate safety incidents with training.  The study mentioned above does this by issuing surveys, which the participants self-administered.  I have less faith in survey-based studies for safety issues like this than ones that rely on medical facility reporting requirements, and I would be surprised if age of babysitter would be included in many standard reports. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T13:02:38.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12610" CreationDate="2014-05-19T13:57:33.883" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have seen this twice, and did my best to get them banned from all future games. Once, successfully. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no place in children's sports for an adult who can't control themselves in an appropriate manner. If they remain, the kids will get a very bad example, so if necessary, club together with some other parents to ensure the offending parent is removed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may mean having to stay outside the venue entirely, or in some cases, their child's attendance may be dependent on the parent's behaviour. Seems harsh, but this latter method might work better, as the parent may try and behave so their child gets to stay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T13:57:33.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="156" CreationDate="2014-05-19T18:33:03.760" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;3 is the age when they start asserting themselves. They want to do everything themselves. &#xA;If they are talking back or not wanting you to do something, it usually means they want to show you they want a say in it....or do it themselves. &#xA;Talking back or outright not wanting you to do something can be a good learning time for them. &#xA;When they do start being sassy or back talking take a step back and try to think why they are doing it.&#xA;With the car seat strap for instance, if he say no or doesn't want to put his arms up, then you can say, &quot;alright, you buckle in!&quot; Most of the time they will be intrigued that they get to do it and they will try to do it themselves. When they try and don't succeed, don't tell them that's why you should do it. Wait for them to ask you to do it. While you are doing it, narrate what you are doing and then see if they decide to try again. &#xA;By asking them to solve the issue of why they don't want to do something, it will help teach them better problem solving skills and help them with the good kind of independence. &#xA;If they are older and talking back I have found that simply saying &quot;I don't like your sassy words/tone of voice,  I don't want to hear it&quot; works very well. Children ultimately want to please their parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7772" LastActivityDate="2014-05-19T18:33:03.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12586" CreationDate="2014-05-20T00:08:30.400" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Below is a link to a more recent article than the one in my other post (2009). It is a study which found a significant association between an abnormal CRI in babies at 2 weeks of age and excessive crying at the age of 6 weeks. Measurements were taken by multiple physicians who were blind to each others' readings and blind to the infant's medical records and information about crying history as measured by the Ames Cry Score. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study does not establish whether cranial osteopathic manipulation will correct abnormal CRI in infants, though it does cite other reports chronicling anecdotal evidence of reduction in crying following treatments. I have found studies of treatment efficacy in adults, but controlled studies on infants are more difficult to design.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some pertinent excerpts from the study on infants:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/7rxHN.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/jC4Fw.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yKxnR.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/vg3H9.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kotzampaltiris, P. V., Chou, K. J., Wall, S. P., &amp;amp; Crain, E. F. (2009). &lt;a href=&quot;http://eds.b.ebscohost.com/eds/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=2&amp;amp;sid=361cead9-53b5-4ee0-a94b-f2555c8c648e%40sessionmgr198&amp;amp;hid=109&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Cranial Rhythmic Impulse and Excessive Crying of Infancy&lt;/a&gt;. Journal Of Alternative &amp;amp; Complementary Medicine, 15(4), 341-345.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T00:08:30.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12610" CreationDate="2014-05-20T00:34:51.003" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Comments like &quot;my 4 year old could do better!&quot; or &quot;don't sub him in; he's terrible!&quot; seem to be becoming more common coming from the stands during youth sport events.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;    &#xA;    &lt;p&gt;If your child is playing in a team event, and some other kids' parents start criticizing their play, how do you respond? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is tricky. On one hand, this is not pro sports. On the other, it IS sports. My own judgement would depend heavily on circumstances:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If this is an activity that the kids' parents paid for the kid to participate in, the kid has a right to participate, no matter skill level. If that's the case - point that out EXACTLY as is: &quot;that kid has a place and a right as does anyone else who paid for the activity&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;OTOH, if this is an amateur team that anyone gets to play in for free, you may object to the form, but to be honest I would say you'd be wrong to object to the spirit of the comment. In a sports team, the better players should get bigger chances. Furthermore, IMHO,  showing the kids that they get to participate at the cost of edging out better players teaches them WAY wrong things in life (&quot;I deserve this&quot; instead of &quot;I earn this&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Verbal, or even physical, abuse, aimed at the referees and coaches seems to be even more common?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's simple. First offense, fore real abuse, you threaten to call the cops. Second offense, call the cops. Record on video to have proof. Ideally, rope in a couple of friendly adults to make sure the bully won't attack you for standing up (see also @Rory's answer re: &quot;club together with other parents&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, every sports activity usually has a set of rules. Make sure to find them, verify if what those parents do is against the rules. If it isn't, work with the activity organizer to fix the rules. If it is in the rules, inform the offender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;What do you say to your kid? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This answer assumes the situation of simply stating &quot;your kid sucks&quot; and not actual abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, reassure your child that YOUR opinion of them doesn't hinge on their skill at sport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, give them an honest assessment of their skill level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, teach them that stuff like this ALWAYS happens in life, and they have only 2 good choices: ignore someone else's opinion - especially someone whose opinion really doesn't matter - AND/OR, win over the naysayer by training harder and getting GOOD. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-05-20T00:47:59.670" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T00:47:59.670" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2014-05-20T03:49:49.490" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously local laws vary, and maturity of a given child is a large factor.  Here in Texas, as with many states, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/what-age-can-i-have-my-oldest-child-babysit-my-oth-569073.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;there is no actual law on how young a child can start babysitting, and 11 is an understood starting age&lt;/a&gt; (and that's when the Red Cross classes start). The laws are more usually stated about how young a child can be to be left at home unattended rather than stating it as &quot;babysitting&quot; - but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;many states don't have that either&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was talking about this with other parents, as my daughter is turning 12, enrolled in a Red Cross babysitting class, and is interested in babysitting. (She has two very young siblings and is as prepared as you can be, I reckon). General consensus from those informal discussions is 12 is fine to babysit a single child that's past potty-training age for up to 4 hours, about 14 for multiple kids, and 16 for babies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T03:49:49.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12596" CreationDate="2014-05-20T03:55:10.850" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are absolutely no USA laws or regulations about this - and expectations vary.  Many people have young child birthday parties at home.  I think you're mainly locked in to &quot;the practices of upper middle class whitebread helicopter parents,&quot; and for that set it's definitely super common to have the parties at a Chuck-E-Cheese or other venue where the little varmints can run loose without destroying someone's living room. If you are super concerned about little Timmy fitting in, then &quot;do exactly like the invitations he gets,&quot; but these things end up being driven much more by what the kid wants than the parent.  They want Chuck-E-Cheese, fine, they want a bounce house at the park, fine... The kids don't care, they get jacked up on sugar and have fun whether it's in your kid's room or at Jumbo Bounce House Indoor Playland. I might recommend considering encouraging them to do what they want instead of what everyone else does so that they're not a slave to peer pressure quite yet. Setting positive examples is an important meta-layer on all parenting decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastEditorUserId="1750" LastEditDate="2014-06-02T12:34:00.813" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T12:34:00.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2014-05-20T12:54:22.290" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This depends on what you value, as a parent, in your baby sitter.  When we looked at some we were more concerned with maturity, age is relatively irrelevant depending on how long and at what times you need a baby sitter for.  These days many babysitters take classes in CPR and such to differentiate themselves, yes marketing starts young if you are really going to &quot;make it&quot;.  Although strangely there seems to be a perspective for certain babysitters to be female and not male as I have seen noted mainly &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.freerangekids.com/is-it-normal-not-to-hire-boys-as-babysitters/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;in the Free Range Parents&lt;/a&gt; blog.  The paranoia around males with children starts young for many, but not all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I bring up this aspect because any study that you look at may very well be tainted, if you take something like this into consideration.  Especially when you look at trends.  I grew up watching some of my younger cousins, basically giving them some food, juice and playing with them a little, before my aunt or uncle came home.  My niece did some babysitting jobs locally, when she was about 15, and did them until she was a bit older and was able to add to her resume by having a summer life guard job where she learned about choking and CPR.  When you look at maturity it comes down to many kids are different, so what society deems appropriate for one would not be so for another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although it will also depend on what you need, if your kids are mature enough to listen, and the babysitter is good enough to control the children then you should be fine.  Personally I go with the ones you know and trust, especially if the kids know them, since they should already have a healthy respect for the neighbor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T12:54:22.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12621" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-20T13:26:42.833" Score="5" ViewCount="156" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my kids is extremely frightened of bugs. As in, if there's a fly/mosquito/bee in the room - far away from her - she will freeze up and refuse to move. If she's in small proximity, she gets uber-distressed and starts screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is OK with butterflies or small fruit flies though, and interestingly enough, is much more OK with spiders (she's not as spider friendly as my other kid or myself, but they don't send her into a screaming fit and she isn't scared to approach and look at an interesting spider).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of that is, IMHO, absorbed from her mother who's deathly afraid of pretty much any bugs. But she's clearly not simply aping her mom, because of aforementioned spider thing: mom is MORE afraid of spiders than any other bugs .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are good approaches/strategies to lessen fear of insects in a child?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-05T12:08:07.370" LastActivityDate="2019-05-05T12:08:07.370" Title="What are good approaches to lessen fear of insects in a child?" Tags="|fears|emotional-well-being|animal-interaction|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12622" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12639" CreationDate="2014-05-20T13:37:20.170" Score="20" ViewCount="3787" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of times I encountered situation where people had a following policy &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If a parent yells at a kid out of frustration with no meaningful reason (e.g. the kid just got on their nerves but wasn't actually doing something punishment-worthy), that parent MUST shortly apologize to the yelled-at child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that considered to be a good approach? What are the pros and cons?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Please note that the discussion of the concept of yelling at a child in general is out of scope for this question.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-20T12:24:45.113" LastActivityDate="2019-06-20T12:24:45.113" Title="Is it a good approach to have a policy of apologizing for yelling at a kid?" Tags="|communication|conflict|mental-health|anger|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12622" CreationDate="2014-05-20T13:48:07.040" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Losing your temper and yelling at a child, whether it was appropriate or not, should always be apologized for.  As a parent it's our job to keep our cool and handle whatever our children throw at us.  Sometimes that's easier than others; and sometimes we will fail to keep calm.  Regardless of what the child did, a parent should apologize for losing his/her cool and remind the child that he/she is loved, even if his/her behavior is unacceptable.  This shouldn't lessen the punishment - these are two distinct actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't particularly different from other social situations.  If you're at work, and someone screws something up such that you have to do extra work, you shouldn't yell at them, right?  You should make it clear to them that they made your job harder, and that it is unacceptable performance, but if you lose your temper and yell at them, you're going to apologize for that behavior.  You might still fire them, but you still apologize for yelling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T13:48:07.040" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12624" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12640" CreationDate="2014-05-20T15:07:15.307" Score="-1" ViewCount="193" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a niece that cries on everything, when waking up, if someone doesnt give her something, if she doesn't get what she wants, if she wants something that isn't suppose to be of her, if someone is going out.Every time she is crying. This ultimately comes to me, as i want to have kid with my wife but i hate like how and when she cries. Its annoying and irritating. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Why does a child cry so much. She is 2 1/2 years old. How do one get her crying habit change. I feel like i am going insane and don't want kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: She is raised by a nanny, both parent are working. Even i and my wife is working. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7778" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T07:54:36.720" Title="Why does childern cries all time" Tags="|discipline|working-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2014-05-21T08:18:38.760" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12621" CreationDate="2014-05-20T15:23:27.830" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two kids 4 and 2 and the 4 year old is very similar however does have arachnophobia.  I have handled it by just educating my 4yold on all insects.  We went to the library and found some great popup books (look for an insect book by Steve Jenkins, published by HMH) he does a great job illustrating the insects and creating a fun and interesting way to learn about them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 4yold even though still cautious around bugs, will see a spider and try to identify it.  Now if a bee flies around her she comments about how it's looking for a flower to pollinate.  I have found that most fears with my children, it all comes down to lack of knowledge. Giving them a way to understand the world and showing them how everything works not only helps in the phobias but also guides them in how to better understand what they don't through education and research.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This tool will become immensely powerful as they grow up and become adults.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7777" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T15:23:27.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12626" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12627" CreationDate="2014-05-20T15:53:15.810" Score="5" ViewCount="2580" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6YO daughter has a major problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She likes to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue is, that she is so addicted to reading, she will do it when she really shouldn't. Like at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More specifically, she will wake up in early AM hours to pee (which is normal for her)... but frequently, instead of heading back to bed, she will turn on the light in her room and read instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is NOT due to any sleeping disorder - she's not afraid to sleep, doesn't have any scary dreams, and if you catch her in time and take away the book and turn off the light, she will fall asleep in under 5 minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is specifically about reading in general - on one hand, it is not about a specific favorite book or some story she didn't finish. OTOH, 95%+ of the time this happens, it's reading, not playing or other activity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She's been known frequently to read instead of other things (e.g. read instead of eating; read instead of doing homework; read instead of cleanup) during the waking hours as well. The difference here is that this is middle of the night and we aren't around to catch it and take the book away.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is majorly problematic for 3 reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, her vision is already deteriorating (she'll need glasses by age 7). She's genetically predisposed to poor eyesight from reading, too. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It interferes with her rest, and next day she will NOT be as active/well behaved due to not having gotten enough sleep. Moreover, she is bound to oversleep in the morning on schooldays and delay departure to work/school for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It forms a bad pattern of behavior in her (read instead of other things; and not sleeping at night). Having suffered all my life from exact same 2 patterns stemming from pretty much the same behavior at her age, I know first hand it's a dangerous path.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried the &quot;No books in your room for the night&quot; rule. She simply quietly goes downstairs to bookcases. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried various mild punishments. Nothing dissuades her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to be clear - she fully acknowledges BEFORE going to bed that she knows it's a bad thing to do and says she won't do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What approaches can I try and solve this problem?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing I haven't done so far is locking up all the books in the house for the night; or making an Arduino to sound the alarm if her room light is on for &gt;5 minutes at certain hours. Both seem like a gross overkill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-21T12:29:16.640" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T23:09:02.167" Title="How do I deal with a child waking up at night and starting to read?" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|reading|addiction|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12626" CreationDate="2014-05-20T16:11:51.167" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gamification to the rescue!  What if you set up a reward system where she earns new levels and rewards for only reading during appropriate times?  She gets up to pee, resists opening that book and goes back to bed: new level.  Does it five times in a row: another new level.  At each level (N00b, Resister, Conqueror, Super-hero, etc.) she gets a new prize/reward that she and you together determine is appropriate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, reward the positive and give her reasons to restrict reading in the middle of the night; I know that logic is not terribly persuasive with my nearly 6-yr-old daughter, but rewards definitely are.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T16:11:51.167" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12628" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-20T16:35:59.377" Score="5" ViewCount="306" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have an 11-month-old child. She's reaching the upper limit of a baby car-seat. We rely on taxis for transportation. This means that when we go somewhere, we have to take the car-seat with us - we can't leave it in the car while it's parked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far we've managed with a baby car-seat that mounts on a folding stroller, but as our child outgrows that, I'm unclear on how we can safely transport her in cars and be able to be mobile at our destination: are there car-seats for infants / toddlers that are compatible with strollers? Or is there another approach that I'm overlooking?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-30T12:29:20.823" LastActivityDate="2018-08-30T12:29:20.823" Title="What are lightweight/mobile options for safely transporting an 11-month-old in a car?" Tags="|infant|car-seat|transport|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12628" CreationDate="2014-05-20T16:49:46.013" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may depend in some part on the region/locality you are in.  In many locations in the US, at least, car seats are not required when riding in a taxi.  Safety of course is still important, but you can generally still achieve some level of safety with a few simple things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buckle the child with the lap belt, and either bring a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B007EET50G&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;seatbelt adapter&lt;/a&gt; or put the shoulder harness behind the child.  This is still fairly safe, although not perfect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get something to convert your carseat into a stroller or otherwise gets it rolling. You mentioned a folding stroller adapter; there are also simpler carts, or even &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000JHN3AS&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;luggage adapters&lt;/a&gt; that allow you to put the seat on your rolling luggage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a booster seat. This is what you will be using eventually anyway (after about age 6-8 depending on size); this still helps at younger ages, and is much more portable than a full size toddler carseat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rental car companies will often rent carseats; in some locations, taxi companies (or perhaps more upscale limo-type companies) may do the same (allow you to reserve one with a carseat for an additional charge).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could consider forming a relationship with a particular cabbie and having him/her hold your carseat for you, and then scheduling things with him/her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, research the laws both in your home locale and in the locales that you travel to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T16:49:46.013" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12630" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12631" CreationDate="2014-05-20T16:56:41.810" Score="1" ViewCount="243" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 month old just had his blood test results back, and while his hemoglobin levels are in the normal range, they're right on the bottom of the range.  This surprised us some, because he's a voracious meat eater; last Friday he had 5 ounces of prime rib, for example, and he regularly eats plenty of almost everything we give him.  Not necessarily every day, but on balance he's a good eater, and in particular on the meat side of the spectrum.  He also does a pretty good job eating green vegetables, like green beans or broccoli.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that we could get iron drops, but we tried those for a while on our older son and he &lt;em&gt;hated&lt;/em&gt; the taste (for good reason, iron tastes terrible in solution) and it put him off of vitamins entirely for a long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there other things we can do to try and increase our toddler's iron intake?  He eats 'normal' food (whatever we're having), and mostly has fresh fruit or cheese/yogurt for snacks.  He is a good (non-picky) eater, and rarely has to be encouraged to eat more of anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit (5/27/14): Started to use the spinach smoothies, those have gone over very well - no complaints about the flavor.  One thing I've noticed as I've paid attention to some of the comments/answers below is that we have a lot of dairy with our iron containing products, so that's something to pay a lot more attention to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-05-27T15:38:13.333" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T00:35:17.400" Title="Strategies for getting toddler to eat more iron" Tags="|toddler|nutrition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12630" CreationDate="2014-05-20T17:15:08.413" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Few things you can try are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure he's getting enough vitamin C which helps with Iron absorption.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Limit dairy with meals as calcium in cow's milk inhibits absorption.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make him a smoothie out of fresh spinach and some fruit.  The spinach is high in iron and does well blended up with fruit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For finger food snacks, plain old Cheerios are a good source of iron&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T17:15:08.413" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12622" CreationDate="2014-05-20T18:22:09.567" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are teaching the child to yell when they're frustrated by modeling that behavior, then it's a good idea to teach them more valuable lessons like admitting when they were wrong and making for actions done out of frustration.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The benefit of learning contrition outweighs the loss of a pretense of infallibility that you could attempt to maintain by refusing to apologize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1645" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T18:22:09.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12630" CreationDate="2014-05-20T19:48:23.767" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Iron Sources&lt;/strong&gt; (see also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthaliciousness.com/articles/food-sources-of-iron.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dried herbs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;beans and pulses&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fortified cereals&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bran&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sun-dried tomatoes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;artichokes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;prunes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tempeh&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;vital wheat gluten&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;whole wheat bread&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dark turkey meat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;chicken leg and breast&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;thuna&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;halibut&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pork chops&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;beef and lamb&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Factors that Increase Iron Absorption&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;meat proteins: increase nonheme iron absorption&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;vitamin C and A: C increases absorption and a lack of vitamin A may result in not being able to move the iron out of the storage into the body&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Factors that Reduce or Inhibit Iron Absorption&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;calcium can reduce nonheme iron (that is iron from plants) absorption and inhibit absorption of iron supplements&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;tannins, oxalates, polyphenols, and phytates reduce absorption (mostly found in tea and coffee)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;avoid peppermint tea, cocoa, vervain, lime flower, chamomile, and most other herbal teas with polyphenols as they reduce absorption of iron &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;high fiber foods (whole grains, vegetables) can inhibit iron absorption&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1290" LastEditorUserId="1290" LastEditDate="2014-05-20T19:54:40.077" LastActivityDate="2014-05-20T19:54:40.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12622" CreationDate="2014-05-20T21:30:43.970" Score="-1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Johnny, I want you to know that Daddy is sorry he raised his voice.  Daddy was just very surprised, and people sometimes yell when they are surprised, you see? But you understand that it's not nice to do what you did, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(There are reasonable circumstances for raising one's voice, and then there are less than reasonable circumstances, in which it is just bullying of the child.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7781" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-05-21T13:56:51.780" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T13:56:51.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12635" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12658" CreationDate="2014-05-21T00:01:20.567" Score="6" ViewCount="22588" Body="&lt;p&gt;When should we as parents teach our child to use scissors for cutting a piece of paper? At what age typically can a child use scissors properly, i.e. with one hand?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastActivityDate="2016-12-19T11:50:52.143" Title="At what age can a child learn to use scissors?" Tags="|fine-motor-skills|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12635" CreationDate="2014-05-21T03:18:30.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are scissors which will cut paper, but have some protective element for reducing the likelihood of harming a person.  Training children in their use begins around 4-5yo with supervision. As their skills improve, other more serious scissors may be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally keep myself away from those super-slick ones that will cut through anything... I make mistakes too easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start with safer and progress to more-care-needed as your evaluation of the child's skills warrants a change.  There is no substitute for judgement based upon personal review.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T03:18:30.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12622" CreationDate="2014-05-21T03:42:40.663" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are human.  If you yelled at anyone not your own child, would you immediately apologize (once identifying your behavior as ineffective/poor)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you would treat anyone else in such a manner, by what rationale would you treat your own child in any lessor of a manner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are not Gods, we are Guides.  We must lead by example and where we fail, the example ought to be one of properly atoning for our mistakes... and not repeating them.  Yelling every hour and immediately apologizing will be as effective as having never apologized. Yelling once and apologizing will leave a positive, permanent impression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in short, my answer is, &quot;Do not fear being perceived as imperfect! Show the strength of your humanity.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, yes, sometimes yelling is necessary and appropriate.  When I yell, &quot;Halt!&quot;, my daughter knows there's a very good reason and stops immediately -- it's something I do only when there's an imminently dangerous situation to save her from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T03:42:40.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12622" CreationDate="2014-05-21T04:46:57.720" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids need to be shown how to apologize and who better to learn than their parents. Consider the alternative: you never apologize to your kids even though there are numerous times where you should have. Yes you will control your kids to an environment where it will be easier for you to live in, kids will fear you, they will perform, but they will not grow healthier in a fear based setting. In the end, they will repeat your same patterns. It takes greater strength to admit fault then to hide weakness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7784" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T04:46:57.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12624" CreationDate="2014-05-21T07:47:59.297" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At first crying is the only possibility for babies to communicate their discomfort. They have no other choice as they can not talk to you. The crying is a helpful indicator for parents, who wouldn't know otherwise when to take action. Often the type of crying can tell a lot about the cause (distinguishing the type is something you learn while parenting, in the meanwhile you try things on random until the crying stops). Crying out of pain sounds very different than crying because of a full diaper. So for the first 2 years, this is definitely a really helpful thing. It might be annoying, but that is an advantage for the child as it pushes you more to do something about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the child gains more abilities in communication, the crying will decrease. But it will still be used as one important instance of communication. You will also be able to distinguish crying that has important reasons (like pain) from crying e.g. out of frustration where the child just has to go through at times. It depends on your reactions and the character of the child how much she will use crying or replaces crying with other types of communication. E.g. one year olds will use their fingers to point at things they want. So did my son point at the bottle or the mug if he wanted something to drink. If you recognize this and react to it appropriately, the child will be more likely to use the finger pointing instead of crying to ask for water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the child's ability to talk increases she has even more ways of telling you what she wants. But she still doesn't know how to deal with frustration, with not having control over the whole world. The age where children throw tantrums is also known as the terrible twos. The child still needs to learn how to deal with her emotions and you can help her with that by showing her ways and by being a good role model. Don't reward this kind of crying, meaning: do not retreat to avoid tamtrums and the child will not use it as a way to get what she wants (nevertheless she still needs to learn how to deal with frustration). Temper tantrums are common in the age of 1 to 4 years and most children grow out of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides that: The ability to talk doesn't mean that the child is able to reflect on the reasons of his discomfort. Meaning: He might have the words to tell you: &quot;Dad, play with me. You are always distracted with being online and answering questions on StackExchange. That makes me upset.&quot;&#xA;But he might not be able to realize that this is the reason he is upset, so he just cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To sum it up:&lt;/strong&gt; See crying as something useful, as a way of communication. You influence how much the child has to rely on this form of communication when she gets older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1290" LastEditorUserId="1290" LastEditDate="2014-05-21T07:54:36.720" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T07:54:36.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12641" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12769" CreationDate="2014-05-21T08:08:34.410" Score="2" ViewCount="179" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our 11 week old is on her play-mat she stares at the various toys hanging down over her. It's so tempting to help her reach out to them, but is it a good idea to help, or is it something she should figure out in her own good time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T22:46:32.063" Title="Is it a good idea to move babies arms to teach them how to reach?" Tags="|newborn|development|motor-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12641" CreationDate="2014-05-21T09:29:01.503" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have tried a few times to help my LO do something, like bang toys or move something from one hand to another. She never learned from that, she got to do those things on her own some time later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that unless the child is willing to repeat what you are doing just by seeing it, it makes little sense to show her how to do it with her own limbs. She won't get it. Forcing anything isn't the best idea, I think. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also see no real harm in doing so:) Make sure you don't do it too much and do it really gently. If you feel resistance, stop. If by any chance she smiles when you do it, and she doesn't seem confused or scared, why not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T09:29:01.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12608" CreationDate="2014-05-21T09:37:37.297" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We handle it pretty much the same way we handle any other poor excuse for bad behaviour, such as &quot;because I wanted to&quot;.  We refuse to accept the excuse and they suffer the agreed on consequences of their misbehaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first few times my kids tried the &quot;but he told me to&quot; excuse I also explained to them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That they knew what was right and what was wrong.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I fully expected them to always do what was right &lt;em&gt;even if somebody told them to do something wrong&lt;/em&gt;.  Even if the person telling them to do the bad thing was me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also explained to the child who had been encouraging the other that trying to encourage somebody to do something bad was wrong.  If they encouraged their sibling to be naughty then they would suffer the same consequences as their sibling would for the actual misbehaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a couple of failed attempts at &quot;He told me to&quot; they no longer try it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it continues to be a problem with one of them - say the younger continues to misbehave if the older encourages them to do it - then you might want to talk to them about strategies to deal with the situation.  Sit down and discuss with them &quot;If your brother/sister tells you to do XYZ and you know its wrong, what do you think you should do?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7785" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T09:37:37.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3557" CreationDate="2014-05-21T11:12:44.783" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife actually managed to have full intercourse at age 8 with a boy of the same age. She says it was actually her idea, but she's never been abused and doesn't know why she thought of it at the time. I guess they had already been playing inappropriately in the shower and she had the idea to lie down and put their parts together. Though she says it was certainly sexual and they both experienced pleasure from it, she doesn't think of the experience as abusive or really all that terrible aside from the embarrassment she has about it now. She's actually still acquainted with the guy, and he's apparently turned out perfectly normal and healthy as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7787" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T11:12:44.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12626" CreationDate="2014-05-21T12:51:18.967" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't call this a &lt;em&gt;major&lt;/em&gt; problem. Teenagers who drink Mountain Dew and eat hot pockets while playing video games until 4AM every night is a &lt;em&gt;major&lt;/em&gt; problem. I would say this is mildly disruptive. She likes to read. That's awesome. I wish I could love to read like she apparently does. Maybe instead of discouraging it, you should encourage it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is she reading? What is her current reading level? Is she above her peers or right along with them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she is searching for something that will challenge her. I often find that when I am challenged by a book/article/blog it makes me more tired. &lt;a href=&quot;http://jap.physiology.org/content/106/3/857&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mental fatigue, after all, leads to physical exhaustion&lt;/a&gt;. Maybe you can gradually increase the complexity of the content she is reading. When she masters that level, upgrade the level once more. Soon enough you'll have a very strong reader.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And to address the point about poor eyesight, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/safeguarding-your-sight&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;reading in dim lighting and positioning the book too closely does not damage your eyes&lt;/a&gt;. This is a myth that has been dispelled time and time again, rating up there with crossing your eyes will cause them to get stuck and gum takes 7 years to digest. It is simply not true. My eyes started going bad at about 6 also and I didn't do much reading. This is just the age that you begin to notice that they could already be bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T12:51:18.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12646" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-21T13:14:16.783" Score="3" ViewCount="205" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there any health risks in earbuds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming moderate use (say, no more than 1-2 hours a day) of music that is not overly loud - e.g. no heavy metal but some classic rock on their MP3 players - is there any &lt;strong&gt;health&lt;/strong&gt; related reason to force children to listen to music from a speaker vs earbuds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to clarify - these are their separate personal earbuds at home; &lt;em&gt;so there's no hygienic concern&lt;/em&gt; at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Merely physical effect on the ear from the earbud being there; or effect on hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T18:46:43.787" Title="Are there any health risks in earbuds for pre-teen children?" Tags="|health|gadgets|hearing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12647" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12700" CreationDate="2014-05-21T13:55:26.020" Score="6" ViewCount="2519" Body="&lt;p&gt;He has started to engage in behavior that is clearly manipulative.  He'll do things like ask for glasses of water at bed to prolong the bedtime ritual, tell us how much he loves us when he wants something that we're balking at giving him, or point out how he skinned his knee three hours earlier while asking us to give him a treat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One time he even pretended to cry because I wouldn't interrupt my getting dressed for work to pick him up and carry him around the house.  That incident involved him going into his bedroom crying, and closing the door behind him.  He then opened the door, checked to make sure that I was looking, pouted, and closed the door again.  When I walked away, he followed me out crying.  When I asked if he was pretending to cry because he wanted me to pick him up, he admitted that he was, and immediately stopped crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll go through brief periods where he'll wake up in the middle of the night and cry until we come check on him, and tuck him back in.  Then, between 30 and 60 minutes later, he'll do it again.  This will happen 3-4 times a night, with explanations ranging from his blanket needing to be fixed, to bad dreams, to &quot;I heard a noise&quot;.  If I go in and tell him that he needs to stop waking us up, and that he needs to fix his own blankets, etc., he usually does, and the problem stops for a few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that at this age, there's a lot of &quot;pushing of boundaries&quot;, to see how much he can get away with, but the deliberate manipulation troubles me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this something I should be concerned with, and take special action to address?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-05-25T23:43:14.523" Title="Should I be concerned that my three year old son tries to manipulate us?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12648" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12671" CreationDate="2014-05-21T14:34:26.287" Score="3" ViewCount="13944" Body="&lt;p&gt;The area by my toddler's diaper pail smells like, well, poopy diapers.  I have been aggressive about changing the diaper pail liner whenever it fills up to the point of jamming the lid open.  I am keeping an odor-eating box of baking soda by the pail (the type with mesh on both long sides).  Yet whenever I enter the kid's room there's this stench of dirty diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recommendations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7790" LastActivityDate="2020-05-21T06:37:15.550" Title="Recommend an odor absorber for a diaper pail" Tags="|toddler|infant|diaper|cleaning|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12648" CreationDate="2014-05-21T14:47:30.567" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a &quot;diaper genie&quot; style diaper pail, that has two key features that help:&#xA;The bag automatically twists open and closed when you open and close the lid, and also there is a small repository of baking soda in the lid that sprinkles some into the top of the bag every time you close the bag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your diaper pail doesn't have similar features (particularly the one where the bag gets twisted open or shut), you may want to consider switching to one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternately, you can try actively sprinkling some baking soda into the bag after you deposit a diaper, and/or try placing some sort of cover over the top of the bag to provide extra &quot;odor blockage&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T14:47:30.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2014-05-21T16:07:26.383" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So now I can answer for my daughter who is 14 months old and can walk a few steps before losing balance.  What we did for her to encourage her was to buy her a baby stroller with a baby dolly.  As early as 7 months I would say, she could stand by holding onto that without danger of falling (because this stroller does not roll as a real stroller) and push that all the way across the (hardwood) floor even though she was not close to walking.  She did not try to stand up otherwise to include holding onto couches or chairs, but that allowed her to gain the sensation and the motivation for walking which was to come much later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3069" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T16:07:26.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12652" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-21T16:22:29.247" Score="12" ViewCount="15682" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everyone at one time or another hums to some tune with the song in their head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it normal when a 8 year old does it &lt;strong&gt;constantly&lt;/strong&gt;? As in, nearly every day, sometimes for hours on end (not necessarily same tune). During play. Or quiet time. Or homework. Or even food. Almost never actually sings them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="7649" LastEditDate="2014-05-21T16:47:57.697" LastActivityDate="2021-05-22T19:03:13.527" Title="Is it normal for kids to constantly hum melodies?" Tags="|music|habits|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12663" CreationDate="2014-05-21T16:37:44.230" Score="1" ViewCount="852" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our particular cast, our three year old son has developed a habit of responding &quot;uh-huh&quot; instead of &quot;yes&quot;, and &quot;uh-uh&quot; instead of &quot;no&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes it really hard to understand which he's saying at times, since they sound so very similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suspect that the strategies and answers to this issue might be more widely applicable, though, so I'd like to include slang or other grammar issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best strategy to correct this and encourage clear, grammaticaly correct speech?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T04:35:12.677" Title="How do you correct slang or other improper grammar in a pre-schooler?" Tags="|pre-schooler|language-development|language|speech|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12456" CreationDate="2014-05-21T16:37:50.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a saying &quot;once bitten, twice shy&quot;. It sounds like your family may have been disappointed that your brother's degree didn't lead to the great job he hoped it would in the time-frame expected, and right or wrong they worry that investing in your education could be an equally non-fruitful investment. That's not really fair to you in any way, but it's understandable they might feel that way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the concern about the risk of you dropping out of school or out of the workforce, should you unexpectedly find out you will be unexpectedly starting a family, is also a fair concern for them to have as far as whether the investment in school fees would pay off. I'm not saying you're the type who would go do that. But as a former teen mom once told me, &quot;The difference between the girl who would NEVER do that to the girl who just did is 45 seconds&quot;. It only takes one impulsive bad decision, ONE time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One option would be to find a way to pay your own way through school without relying on gifted money from your family. As you say it is not expensive to go to college, and you have had a job for the last year, could you use your savings from work to pay for school, and delay buying your family a car until you have a &quot;better&quot; job post-education? If that savings is not enough, could you continue to work part time while you go to school to make up the difference? Does your university have a work/study program or internship program to help you earn money to pay for school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option would be to convince your family it's a good investment. It sounds like you've already been trying to do this with little success, however. You will need to ask questions, and really understand what their concerns are, so you can come up with solutions for the specific concerns that are holding them back from supporting your plans, and demonstrate that you have a workable plan. You want to demonstrate as well that you've counted out all the costs and budgeted what it would take, mapped out a career path that your degree will open doors for, what the difference in earning potential is, vs a career that does not require said degree. In your situation, I would consider including in your proposal a plan for when you would start a family and how that would factor into your planned career. For example, &quot;after my degree I could work full time for 10 years at a salary of $50,000 per year, before 'retiring' from the workforce to start a family&quot;. Or, &quot;when I'm ready to start a family, I'll take 3 months of maternity leave, and then hire a caregiver for my child(ren) while I continue to work full time. It would cost $2000 a month for childcare, which while it'd be almost half of my income would still leave enough leftover for rent and other expenses&quot;. Obviously, you need to tailor everything to your situation, but the gist is to make sure they know you've thought everything through, done the math, and won't be left short with a plan that fell apart. Maybe you never hope to have children, but it's probably better to account for that potential &quot;what if&quot; since they seem concerned about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do decide to attempt to convince your family, you should take into account who is the moneyholder. It sounds like originally, your brother was planning to be in the position to help you out, but, with the family he now has, he may not have the spare money anymore to help you out, even if he's sympathetic. So, should you try to convince your mom or your grandparents directly? Since your grandparents live far away, giving them a live presentation about your college proposal may be impractical. But you could write them a nice letter explaining your passion and what you want to do with your life, and how much per month it would take to make that possible, and ask whether they would consider sponsoring your education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what you end up doing about your educational plans, demonstrating responsibility and mature attitudes would also be a good idea. If, say, you've been sulking around the house and having an entitled attitude about expecting meals being prepared for you, it would not help your case at all. Having a child introduces a lot of additional responsibilities. Roles will have to shift to accommodate, at least in the shorter term. You could jump in and show an attitude of &quot;I want to do what I can to help&quot; rather than the stereotypical teenage attitude &quot;I'm mad this situation exists and is RUINING MY LIFE, I hate you mom!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may or may not be able to convince your family to support you, but if you are determined, you can continue to find a way somehow. Life not going as planned happens to everyone. If it's not the money disappearing that should have been for college, it might be a big layoff from a dream job, loss of a beloved family member, unexpected divorce, etc. Somehow we have to learn to roll with the bumps in life and keep pressing forward rather than giving up and declaring life &quot;over&quot; when something doesn't work out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T16:37:50.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12655" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12653" CreationDate="2014-05-21T19:58:42.337" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The approach we took with our child was and is to just ask for clarification, or casually correct the word.  she responds to something with &quot;uh-huh&quot; and I reply either &quot;I can't understand you, can you please say yes or no?&quot; or if I was sure of her reply, &quot;How about yes?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found that making a huge big deal out of it is not especially productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2624" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T19:58:42.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12652" CreationDate="2014-05-21T19:58:56.043" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an adult who does the same thing, I don't think it's anything to worry about. If they aren't already involved in playing a musical instrument or some type of singing outlet you could find a local option to help them get the music out. I know in my case it's that I really love music and find myself thinking about songs I enjoy or sometimes am noodling a new tune for a song I'm writing. If the current behavior is distracting it's okay as well to tell them you'd rather they not hum in certain situations. That's how they'll learn when it's appropriate and when it's not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6913" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T19:58:56.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12647" CreationDate="2014-05-21T20:05:57.787" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should be concerned.  My 5 year old has continued to hone her manipulation skills, and according to what I'm told, will continue to do so until she moves out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put more succinctly, I think it's very normal child development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2624" LastActivityDate="2014-05-21T20:05:57.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12635" CreationDate="2014-05-21T20:09:06.440" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can get blades woth sprung handles and short blades. Here's one example.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00366ICX2/ref=pd_aw_sims_2/276-6568127-1578546?pi=SL500_SS115&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00366ICX2/ref=pd_aw_sims_2/276-6568127-1578546?pi=SL500_SS115&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young children will not know what handedness they are and it does make a difference.  Young children are likely to be frustrated by this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, many adults also use scissors incorrectly (some scissors need you to keep your index finger out of the loop) and pass bad cutting habits on, which again frustrates children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The correct grip requires the hand to be as if the child was about to shake hands, and not palm-down which they usually have.  It also requires stretched index finger and thumb.  These are tricky for children to achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you don't mention supervision.  When supervised cutting paper is fun and useful.  It helps develop fine motor skills.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, teach correct grip; encourage practice even when child is failing (because effort should be rewarded); manage expectations so child is not disheartened with poor results; and supervise young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a nice link: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.schoolsparks.com/blog/teaching-children-the-proper-scissors-grip&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.schoolsparks.com/blog/teaching-children-the-proper-scissors-grip&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would say when the child can hold scissors correctly, and manipulate the scissors and the paper. This is likely to be around the age of about three, but will require close supervision and special scissors. Younger children don't have the finger strength nor dexterity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2014-05-22T19:39:50.943" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T19:39:50.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12660" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12668" CreationDate="2014-05-22T01:45:43.500" Score="8" ViewCount="597" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young girls start their periods at various ages. Approximately how long does it take to be regular (i.e. roughly monthly)? If regularity does not occur, then at what point would seeking a doctor's advice be appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask this as a single father of a teen girl who is not currently regular, but had her first about 2 years ago. She's had 2 or 3 in the last year. The last was around 4 months ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-09-12T08:23:23.923" LastActivityDate="2018-09-14T22:42:12.817" Title="Regularity of teen reproductive cycle?" Tags="|teen|sexual-development|menstruation|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12653" CreationDate="2014-05-22T02:51:09.290" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Peers count for a lot. You can expect them to talk like their peers. Ref. In Raising Bebe, the author had a funny story about her toddler learning to cuss (with French toddler cuss words) from her peers at pre-school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Modeling counts, while you can not expect them to understand immediately which contexts to use whqt, they will eventually use the right register (level of formality, mix of formal and slang) in the right situation. If you accidentally speak in an informal register, (even once!) you can expect to be copied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, kids talk to communicate. They pick strategies that result in them getting what they want-- they are too young to be language purists or to think that an informal register is easier or whatever. If you act obtuse as if you don't understand uh-huh and uh-uh, they will get the message quick and stop doing it around you. No need to scold or praise, just act the way you do with any other utterance that you can't make sense of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T02:51:09.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12646" CreationDate="2014-05-22T03:56:16.350" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The rule of thumb for traditional headphones is that if you as a parent can hear the music your child is listening to, it's too loud and your child should turn the volume down before they start damaging their hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Earbuds leak less sound, though, so you have a harder time policing the volume level.  By the time it gets loud enough for you to hear, your child may already be damaging their hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6912" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T03:56:16.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12653" CreationDate="2014-05-22T04:35:12.677" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with @jeremy but with a slight adaptation.  As @jeremy suggested, start the first few times with &quot;I'm sorry, I didn't understand you.&quot;  This is good to let them know that slang or poor articulation isn't adequate to communicate.  However, at some point you have to transition your child to prompting themselves less you get stuck in a cycle of prompting them every time.  So the next step is to simply pause until they realize that you're waiting for them to use &quot;yes&quot; or &quot;no&quot;.  This can be difficult and at first because your child will be confused why you're staring at them and not responding.  If that is a difficult step then try shortening the phrase to &quot;I'm sorry?&quot;.  Then transition to acting like you didn't hear their response and wait for a proper response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use a form of this approach in therapy with children; I'm a Speech Therapist and have found the method effective with my own children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our 3 year old the problem was slightly different.  We couldn't get her to ask for things using &quot;please&quot; and &quot;thank you&quot;.  So when she would ask for something we would initially pause and occasionally we would throw in &quot;How do we ask nicely?&quot; then we would just politely ignore her question and sure enough, after a brief pause, she would realize we weren't listening and she would ask with &quot;please&quot; and follow up with &quot;thank you&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7793" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T04:35:12.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8652" CreationDate="2014-05-22T04:44:28.277" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a mother and speech-language pathologist, I understand the concerns of speech and language development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some general information to know is each sound of our language has a different range of ages in which your child should correctly produce the sound. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By age 8, your child should be able to produce all sounds of the English language, unless second language learner. Your child’s production errors are considered disordered when they continue to misarticulate sounds past the age at which most of his or her peers use the phoneme correctly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your child is only 2, I would take a wait and see stance, since the age of development for the production of the phoneme /s/ is between 3 to 8 years of age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are playing with your child you could playfully say some words similar to their current errors and playfully say “uh I said that the old way I need to say that the new way” then self correct. I would avoid terms like right and wrong to avoid a negative association with their speech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7793" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-12-14T07:22:19.230" LastActivityDate="2016-12-14T07:22:19.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12665" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-22T11:18:28.063" Score="8" ViewCount="435" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a reasonably common phenomenon that kids in bilingual families who are correctly raised tend to prefer the language of their country of residence (English, in case of USA). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if the parents teach them both English and the family birth language, and they are fluent in both equally, at some point they tend to start favoring English, unconsciously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have observed that some parents in this situation, as a way to enforce the bi-lingual development, &lt;strong&gt;refuse to respond, or do what is asked&lt;/strong&gt;, if the child speaks to them in English instead of another language, until what was said is repeated in the &quot;correct&quot; language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are there any downsides to this approach&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note: assume that the child is old enough AND fluent enough in both languages that this isn't a major hardship for them.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note: The relative benefits or downsides of the goal of forcing the children to be bilingual are outside the scope of this question (it was somewhat covered &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7431/should-i-make-my-child-respond-to-me-in-my-language&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11839/enforcing-minority-languages-at-home&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;). Only a specific method of enforcing this goal is being asked about&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-06-01T08:59:37.707" Title="What are the downsides of &quot;I don't listen to things said in language X today&quot; response used as a tactic for forcing a second language?" Tags="|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12635" CreationDate="2014-05-22T15:11:45.803" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can, and should, get fully plastic scissors that are capable of cutting paper but are completely safe (as far as any toy is), at around 2.  My almost-three year old has been using them for six months or so and not only loves using them but has become very adept at it (he can cut with one hand properly most of the time).  This was one of the milestones for the daycare we used to go to during the 2-3 year old range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One example of these is &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00756JZQ2&quot;&gt;Crayola's My First Safety Scissors&lt;/a&gt; which are officially recommended for 3 years + (&quot;choking hazard&quot;), but as with most things is fine at 2 in my experience as long as it is used under supervision (and I can't really imagine what could fall off of these to choke on).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-05-22T19:32:49.537" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T19:32:49.537" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12667" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-22T15:26:20.257" Score="3" ViewCount="220" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once a baby starts solids, do I now need to rinse the cloth wipes? Before solids, it was only breastfed poop and the cloth wipe could just be tossed in the diaper pail. Can I still just toss it in and it will rinse out in the wash or will I need to spray it off before putting it into the washing machine?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7804" LastActivityDate="2020-03-04T14:30:13.297" Title="Should I rinse cloth wipes once baby starts solids?" Tags="|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12660" CreationDate="2014-05-22T16:41:27.617" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;They could be sporadic her whole life, or she could just suddenly snap into a regular cycle; it's really different for each girl. Generally irregular periods are not a big issue unless you're older and trying to get pregnant yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The simple answer is that she should talk to her doctor. If she's old enough to be menstruating, she should have her first pap smear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be a sign that something else is off such as,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hormones (there are a lot of chemicals in our environment that can throw off hormones. Just a random example, antibiotics and or growth hormones in dairy and meat can throw them out of whack, as well as flame retardants such as those on bed sheets.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Low body weight (the body needs a certain fat content to menstruate)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Very high body weight (fat can change hormones and throws them off)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Poor diet and not enough vitamins/minerals&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lots of exercise (I knew athletes in high school that didn't menstruate while they were actively practicing for sports)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A really easy fix to this (again have her talk to her doctor) is the birth control pill because it will regulate all of her hormones and guarantee that it will come every 28 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="26750" LastEditDate="2018-09-14T22:42:12.817" LastActivityDate="2018-09-14T22:42:12.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12648" CreationDate="2014-05-22T18:06:26.453" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use those little Munchkin brand nursery freshener disks in the bottom of my pail. I have a regular pail that does not twist up the bag after each use and we are cloth diapering. The diapering area doesn't have a stink problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7804" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T18:06:26.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12670" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12822" CreationDate="2014-05-22T21:47:52.017" Score="2" ViewCount="13434" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3-year-old son has shown signs of improvement lately in using the toilet to poo. He is still wearing nappy, but he is able to take his nappy and shorts/trousers off and then climbed onto the toilet by himself to poo. (He does not want to use the toilet trainer seat, but he would instead squat on the toilet. He has never used a potty.) Normally he would tell me before if he wanted to poo, and I would supervise him until he finishes. Today, he didn't even tell me beforehand, did all by himself until he finished, when I heard him calling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to peeing, however, he has not been able to do it as good as he does pooing. So far he would only pee in the same way he poos, straight after his bath, while still naked. Other than that, he would pee in his nappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the next step I need to take so that he can pee in the toilet, just as he poos? When should I stop putting nappies on him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2014-06-01T11:20:13.530" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T20:17:50.770" Title="Three year old able to poo in the toilet but still pees in his nappy" Tags="|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12648" CreationDate="2014-05-22T21:50:27.673" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would pour baking soda directly into the bottom of the pail, as it may help absorb odors more effectively.  I would also expect that a diaper pail will never be perfect.  I have a Munchkin diaper pail, and it works pretty well unless you open it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other odor removers that can be effective include mild acids like vinegar and stronger bases such as lye.  Both will actually chemically modify the odor causing chemicals, and both should be strong enough to get into the plastic some.  Both are, however, fairly expensive solutions - vinegar in particular you need a lot of at full strength, and you need to really let it soak to do a good job.  Lye can probably be used in smaller quantities, but still isn't super cheap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might consider a non-plastic diaper pail/trash can.  Plastic inevitably picks up odors, and keeps it.  We also have a metal trash can with a lid, and that seems to behave better than the plastic ones as long as we keep the lid on.  It has to be 100% metal, or something will stick odor-wise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T21:50:27.673" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12672" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12674" CreationDate="2014-05-22T21:56:48.633" Score="4" ViewCount="217" Body="&lt;p&gt;My almost-three year old has the strangest love/hate relationship with thunder and lightning.  He will often react with fear when he sees lightning or hears thunder, and will talk about &quot;I am scared of thunder&quot;, &quot;I don't want there to be thunder&quot;, etc.; but then when we walk out into a thunderstorm, or look out the window, he will be incredibly fascinated and say &quot;I love thunder&quot;, &quot;Daddy can I see more lightning&quot; (when there is not some for a while), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will it be helpful to him overcoming his fear of thunder (which often means sleeping in our bed at night when there are bad storms) to encourage the 'love' side of things (I tried taking him outside during the last one, which included some small hail, and he loved it and was sad when the hail stopped)?  Or am I making it more likely for him to have nightmares about thunder?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intuitively it seems like it should help to give positive associations, but he also had very significant negative reactions that night (as bad or worse than before).  I realize things don't change overnight, but I don't want to be making things worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T01:41:20.407" Title="Fear/interest in thunder and lightning" Tags="|pre-schooler|fears|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12667" CreationDate="2014-05-22T22:30:33.530" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes ... having a 3 month old and a newly potty trained 2 and a half year old , I notticed how much eaiser the cloth diapers were with the breast fed baby.  Once they are on solids you need to rinse .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7807" LastActivityDate="2014-05-22T22:30:33.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12672" CreationDate="2014-05-23T01:41:20.407" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This kind of thing is pretty common, my older son has a similar love/hate-relationship with, of all things, hot air balloons.  It was triggered when he saw one float past really close, enough to see the flame and hear the &quot;pssshh&quot; sound when it was lit, and even since he's been spotting hot air balloons everywhere, both actual ones (you'd be amazed how often they'd used in advertising...) and more, um, imaginative ones.   Ball on top of a bucket?  Hot air balloon.  Ice cream cone?  No, hot air balloon.  Chandelier?  No, hot air balloon.  Jumping castle?  No, hot air balloon, and he was full-on clinging and screaming &lt;em&gt;petrified&lt;/em&gt; of these for the longest time.  You get the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get back on topic, the way phobias are treated in adults is called &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systematic_desensitization&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;systematic desensitization&lt;/a&gt;, and the basic idea works well enough in kids as well: exposure to &lt;strong&gt;increasing doses&lt;/strong&gt;, but keeping them in &lt;strong&gt;full control&lt;/strong&gt;.  So first you can read a cartoon book about hot air balloons, then you can look at some pictures of hot air balloons, then you can watch a video about hot air balloons on YouTube...  you get the idea.  If they get scared or don't want to do it, back off, let them try again later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's taken a year and half, but now he's pretty much gotten over the fear.  The fascination remains though, and we're seriously thinking of attending a hot air balloon festival later this year!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T01:41:20.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12675" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12676" CreationDate="2014-05-23T07:01:48.730" Score="6" ViewCount="3960" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several &quot;due date calculators&quot; out there, and they all pretty much seem to give the same due date ... except in France!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See a striking example: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy-due-date-calculator&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy-due-date-calculator&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;It calculates the due date to May 26.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then go to the French version of the SAME site: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.fr/t400215/calculer-votre-date-daccouchement&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.fr/t400215/calculer-votre-date-daccouchement&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;It calculates June 2nd.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same goes if you go to a French doctor vs a US doctor (or Israeli, where I am).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is science, biology, right? Why would there be a difference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7808" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T07:45:44.050" Title="Why is the due date different in France than in the US?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12675" CreationDate="2014-05-23T08:46:56.043" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason for these is around the way they estimate the date of conception. In general, the first missed period is a useful indicator, but at what point in the previous few weeks do you set the conception point? It isn't obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So although pregnancy is about 40 weeks, the start point may be guesstimated anywhere in a 2 or 3 week window, and that is obviously what has been done here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know why it is done differently in France (or if it is possibly just down to the calculators you have tried) but the thing to remember is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;odds of baby turning up on the stated due date are not that good anyway&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't worry about it - during pregnancy checks, the due date estimate can be revised based on the development of the fetus, and he/she will turn up when ready :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T08:46:56.043" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12677" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-23T09:24:46.570" Score="13" ViewCount="9620" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 21 years old and came to my home country, Azerbaijan, after studying in the US. I have changed my beliefs and built my own set of rules to live my life. The life brought me a phase where I had to live with my parents for a couple of months (thanks to them for the support), as I was getting adapted to the city, the culture etc. But now the phase is over, I can afford to be responsible, live my own life in my own apartment; but my parents still think that I am a kid and are not letting me live alone because I have made a couple of bad decisions when I was in the US (I was dumb and 17 years old). In our country, the majority of the population lives with their parents until they get married. I can support myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't even know how to explain this current situation to them. It's so time consuming and a total waste because they don't accept anything I say. It's so funny that they want me to be rich etc., yet they don't even allow me to take risks... They question every friend I have like they are using me, or interfere with my love life. And to be honest, because of all the drama they build on my friends, many of my friends don't want to deal with it. When I put myself in my friends' shoes, they are totally right. I wouldn't want to talk to someone whose parents are going to flip everything over just because I went out with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sometimes just think to go rent an apartment, and just one night just run away from the house and never look back &amp;lt;- it's the emotions talking but, I seriously can't think of anything better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really need your help on this because it has become the only problem in my life. Please help me out!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7810" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-19T15:06:22.777" LastActivityDate="2019-04-19T15:10:08.097" Title="How to make my parents stop interfering with my life in every way?" Tags="|parents|adult-child|independence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12678" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12679" CreationDate="2014-05-23T12:26:02.613" Score="6" ViewCount="989" Body="&lt;p&gt;Right now, whenever I take my daughter somewhere in the car, we listen to CD's with children's songs (The ABC Song, Twinkle Twinkle, Open Shut Them, etc). While these songs are good, the CDs have been played quite a bit and sometimes it seems like she's bored with them. When is it OK to introduce non-children's music? Does it really matter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now when I say non-children's music, I'm referring to G-rated pop, soft rock (Train), or folk music (Bob Dylan). I'm not referring to gangsta-rap or death metal (not that there is anything wrong with them, a toddler is just not the appropriate audience).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T13:30:09.033" Title="When can I introduce different music?" Tags="|toddler|music|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12678" CreationDate="2014-05-23T13:15:17.457" Score="15" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When is it OK to introduce non-children's music? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, there is absolutely no reason to &quot;ease&quot; your kids into music gradually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started our son our with everything from John Williams, to Frank Sinatra, to The Ramones, starting before he was born and continuing right up to today (he's three).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We mixed in children's music (for example, there's a duet album by David Grisman and Jerry Garcia playing a variety of children's songs that all three of us loved to sing along to), but he only really started liking more &quot;traditional&quot; children's music, and asking for it specifically, when he hears it on the radio, youtube, or during a TV show or movie (which is why I am utterly sick of any song from &lt;em&gt;Frozen&lt;/em&gt; at this point!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son, at this point, happily listens to, or even sings, a variety of music from songs from &lt;em&gt;Cars&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;Frozen&lt;/em&gt;, to silly songs like &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q&quot;&gt;The Duck Song&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHptn_3RyYE&quot;&gt;The Toast Song&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's even been some (controversial) research onto the impact of &quot;adult&quot; music on children.  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mozart_effect&quot;&gt;The Mozart Effect&lt;/a&gt; for a classic example (sorry for the pun!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you start your child off on music geared towards children, and only later introduce &quot;adult&quot; music, you may meet with some resistance.  Children (at least mine) tend to like what is familiar, unless convinced otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children's radio stations (we have XM radio, and listen to a channel that I believe is called &quot;Kids' Place Live&quot;) do a decent job of mixing in a fairly wide variety of songs, from classic standards that are kid-friendly, to current (and not-so-current) Disney soundtracks, to age-appropriate pop-songs (it was our introduction to &quot;What Does the Fox Say?&quot;, which my son finds hysterical).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T13:15:17.457" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12680" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12713" CreationDate="2014-05-23T13:25:05.523" Score="8" ViewCount="18373" Body="&lt;p&gt;Leaving aside emotional benefits (kids like to splash around in a bath and have fun) are there any health benefits or negatives to taking a bath vs. taking a shower?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for an answer based on studies, not opinions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age range is 5-10 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2016-01-30T19:23:14.210" Title="Are there any benefits to taking a bath over taking a shower for a child?" Tags="|hygiene|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12678" CreationDate="2014-05-23T13:30:09.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can try introducing whatever music you like whenever you like! You child may not like the music, though. For example, my LO doesn't like Metallica. She seemed frightened when I played Ride the Ligtning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember to moderate the volume so that the music's not too loud. Same goes, later on, for headphones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to get your LO introduced to classical music, I really recommend Raimond Lap's CDs. They're not all classical, but they're all instrumental. And they're really, really great to listen to, even for an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T13:30:09.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12682" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12684" CreationDate="2014-05-23T13:32:33.707" Score="-4" ViewCount="4329" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our house is reasonably cold (and try to keep it that way) and so I insist that aside from summer, the kids wear socks; including for sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that they &lt;strong&gt;take the socks off&lt;/strong&gt; - it seems like, in their sleep. BOTH of them. No matter what kinds of socks we get them - loose or tight. Short or longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever we tried, didn't work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talking to them is useless. They seem to be kicking the socks off either while asleep or in dreamy state, not consciously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Warming the room up isn't something we are willing to consider&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We considered footed pajamas but they don't sell those for ages above toddler (they are in preschool/elementary school age range).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;simply keep their feet covered with a blanket&amp;quot; is a fantasy land proposition for us - they are both very active sleepers and rarely stay UNDER a blanket for longer than half the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What other approaches can I try to deal with that situation?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2022-02-18T14:52:44.357" LastActivityDate="2022-02-18T14:52:44.357" Title="How can I deal with no-socks situation at night?" Tags="|sleep|clothes|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="20" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12683" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12687" CreationDate="2014-05-23T13:52:28.527" Score="5" ViewCount="1100" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to collect some opinions on this, because I'm a first time parent and most of my friends don't have kids. Basically, I'm trying to work out how much I will be needed at home during the first weeks and months of the baby being born. Don't get me wrong, I'd love stay home with the baby the entire time but its a comprise between supporting the girlfriend, raising the baby and work/money commitments. I'm trying to strike the right balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Just to outline the situation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend is due around November this year, and I am planning as much as I can in advanced. I've been talking to HR at work, trying to decide what the best arrangements to make for work are at the time of birth and directly after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be it into context, it just so happens that I am the main bread winner in the relationship and my girlfriend will be stopping work a couple months before and staying at home to look after the baby. She will then looking for a new job after a duration (6months? undecided as of yet). So my girlfriend will be the main carer for the baby (9 to 5) initially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What I'm entitled to&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am entitled to 2 weeks paternity leave, at statutory pay; which is significantly less than my usual pay and makes a huge impact to our finances. I also have flexible hours, some holiday available and the opportunity to work from home some days of the week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My current plan&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, I'm assuming everything will go ahead as expected and there will be no complications. If there are any, I'll need to change plans anyway so if it happens I'll rethink things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Roughly the week proceeding the due day (or the point where it looks like it might be any minute) I will work from home, and be able to spring into action straight away and drive her to the hospital. Its worth noting that the mother-in-law is very local, and very helpful so she'll be on standby to help throughout the birth and the months after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the baby is born, I will take a week of paternity leave and the odd couple days of holiday to bridge across the nearest weekend or if we need a extra day of so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the initial paternity leave period, I will go back to work and work from home ~2 days a week flexibly, depending on how I'm needed at work and home. I'm an engineer, so my time is split between working on a computer (anywhere) and working in a lab (in the office). I would keep working from home a couple days a week for a month or two, probably up to Xmas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the New Year, I would look to going back to work in the office full time. I have flexible hours, so I can work different times to work around baby commitments as needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'm wondering, how much will I be needed during and after the pregnancy. Is just over 1 week dedicated, plus working from home for 2 months after enough?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7811" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T16:26:21.463" Title="Paternity Leave, How much does the Father need to be home?" Tags="|working-parents|birth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12682" CreationDate="2014-05-23T13:59:52.260" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're insisting on the socks staying on no matter what, you might have to hack some footie pajamas of your own.  Sew some thick long socks to the legs of the pj's; that should do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T13:59:52.260" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12680" CreationDate="2014-05-23T14:27:00.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A bath is a set temperature that will get cooler.  You can test the temperature before you get in.  A shower (depending on the plumbing) can get sudennly much hotter.  This could cause scalding or the rapid movement away from the hot water could cause a fall and injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T14:27:00.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12682" CreationDate="2014-05-23T15:00:53.113" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What other approaches can I try to deal with that situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see five general options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/12684/420&quot;&gt;Valkyrie's approach&lt;/a&gt; of hacking your own footie pajamas.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make the children's room colder, to encourage them to want socks on.  This doesn't strike me as a great approach, since they may simply bundle up in more blankets, rather than put on socks.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make the children's room warmer, so that you feel more comfortable with them not wearing socks.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Decide that trying to enforce a sock rule is not worth the effort, and simply drop the restriction.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Come up with more comfortable footware aside from footie pajamas.  Perhaps a loosely-knit crocheted set of socks might be more comfortable for them, resulting in them being left on.  You may even be able to find some that secure with a draw-string, making it more difficult for them to be unconsciously removed.  A more breathable mesh might provide some relief from the cold, without causing the feet to become too hot, if, in fact, that's what is prompting them to keep them on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T15:12:52.927" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12683" CreationDate="2014-05-23T16:26:21.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;During the Pregnancy&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That depends entirely on your girlfriend. In my case, we bought a house about 7 weeks before my wife was due, so she couldn't do much, and I needed to do most of the homebuying myself. Fortunately for me, my wife was a researcher and was able to find support groups online (other people due the same month), so there wasn't too much that I needed to do until she was scheduled for induction (we had a big baby). If you only have 1 car, you may need to exercise the flex scheduling to ensure your girlfriend can get to her appointments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Directly after the birth&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As noted in the comments, if your wife has a C-Section, you'll need to expect to take a little bit more time to help her out. You noted that you'd move in with her parents for a while, which is a good fallback. However, depending on the house layout (she won't want to take stairs for a while), you may want to ask her mother to stay with you for a few days, instead. When my daughter was born last year, my mother stayed with us for about a week, and spent most of her time cleaning the house, preparing food, making sure my wife was comfortable, etc. (That's the most important thing family can do to support you, by the way, not try to edge in on baby time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Through the end of the year&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much time you take off is up to you and your girlfriend to determine, and unfortunately, you won't really be able to gauge how she's feeling until your baby is born. I took 4 vacation days for my daughter's birth, as she was scheduled to be induced on a Thursday, but wasn't born until Friday morning. I didn't have the option of any paternity leave, and had to go back to work the following Wednesday, but I was working from home quite a bit. That struck us as a good balance, and by then, my wife was much more comfortable and capable (she could take the stairs again!). For me, the biggest disruption to my work was needing to take my wife and daughter to the Dr. offices for checkups / follow-ups / staple removal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Conclusion&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that you're here, asking some very thoughtful questions 6 months in advance, and your girlfriend has experience working with little kids (many parents will tell you that it's much easier working with your own kid than other people's kids), I'd guess that you two will be just fine. Keep an open line of communication with your girlfriend, and be VERY thankful that you work allows you the flexibility to work remotely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cheers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7649" LastActivityDate="2014-05-23T16:26:21.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12690" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-24T08:34:15.353" Score="2" ViewCount="417" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is about 3 months old. As he's starting to become a little more alert, I notice that his right eye isn't always tracking with his left. Obviously he will have to see an optometrist eventually for a check up somewhere down the road. At the moment though, since he's so young, is this something we should be concerned about? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="1290" LastEditDate="2014-05-28T12:20:27.007" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T20:40:21.827" Title="Infant and a lazy eye: Should I be concerned?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2018-05-17T19:09:58.663" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12691" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-24T18:28:39.437" Score="2" ViewCount="1205" Body="&lt;p&gt;Situation: a child has a friend (their age); and both of them have slightly younger siblings (who are also same age). The siblings aren't really close friends; but we know each other as families and live nearby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child wants to invite their friend to his birthday party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there an established etiquette as far as inviting (or not) a sibling of that friend given the situation outlined above? If the friend's younger sibling is invited, they will be the only other child of that age at the party aside from your own second child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T20:34:13.307" Title="What's the etiquette for birthday invites for younger siblings?" Tags="|birthday|party|etiquette|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12670" CreationDate="2014-05-25T13:49:14.733" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very strange, as usually it's much easier to feel the need to urinate. So most likely it's not physical problem, but rather psychological.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some reason, your son thinks it's OK and the right thing to pee in the diaper so best course of action in my opinion is talking with him, asking about it until you find the root cause (e.g. something you or his mother told him at some point, even long ago) then act upon it, for example if he was told &quot;It's fine if you sometimes pee in diaper&quot; maybe try explain to him &quot;It's fine, but you should try first going to the toilet&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2014-05-25T13:49:14.733" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12694" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-25T13:57:51.037" Score="4" ViewCount="583" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/a/20727/1044&quot;&gt;According to studies&lt;/a&gt;, things like raw onion, scallion, or garlic are extremely beneficial for one's health (there's clear evidence of anticarcinogenic properties and inconclusive but decent evidence of cold/flu efficacy as per Cochrane).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, despite seeing a constant example (us) of people eating it, my child (5 to 8 years old) refuses to even eat a little of either of those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I encourage her to start eating onions and garlic and chives, even a little?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things we tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explanation of health benefits (that generally works with her, it got her to like tomatoes)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She does NOT have a major problem eating them in cooked form (e.g. fried onions or scallion in an omelet). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She'll eat pretty spicy pickles happily. We pointed out to her that those pickles contain garlic (as she saw by reading ingredients), but that didn't change her mind at all about eating garlic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Personal example (in case of onion/chives, even her brother eats them).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We encouraged to eat just little tiny pieces in &quot;sandwich&quot; with meat or bread so there's no bite. She tried once and refuses since then.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T12:22:29.207" Title="How can I encourage my child to eat &quot;spicier&quot; healthy food?" Tags="|health|food|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12694" CreationDate="2014-05-25T15:18:23.587" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems, from what you listed that you are currently doing, that you have all your bases covered. She's at the age where you can somewhat appeal to her logically (i.e. the tomatoes), she has been appealed to by other's good experiences with the food (her brother), she has met you halfway on trying them outside of being cooked into something (the sandwich), and she has already encountered one form of them that she likes (the pickles). I think all you can hope for now is that eventually she will start to enjoy them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say be consistent with what you are currently doing. Don't force the subject since that might make her want to reject them even more; but don't necessarily give up completely. Onions are a pretty important part of Japanese diet but our daughter didn't quite like them at first. After seeing mama and I chow down into some raw onions with our miso soup at almost every meal, she finally understands that they aren't so bad. We just had to stay consistent with only a little pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By a little pressure I am referring to asking simple questions at mealtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you try your soup? Did you like the onions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you taste the salad yet? It has some pretty good ingredients including tomato and garlic. You like tomatoes right? Garlic goes great with tomatoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first example is one we use on a regular basis. The second is a potential example for you to use as minimal pressure. It's barely pressure, more like baiting. Just stay consistent with what you are doing. We also understand how important a healthy variety of vegetables can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-05-25T15:18:23.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12696" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12698" CreationDate="2014-05-25T18:46:22.380" Score="2" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;my child was born 4 weeks early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I consider her to be 4 month old (counting age since birth), or 3 month old (regarding age-related advice, facts in books and such) ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2014-05-25T21:13:16.220" LastActivityDate="2014-05-25T22:44:46.390" Title="How old really is my child?" Tags="|premature|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3486" CreationDate="2014-05-25T20:07:02.640" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember very well how I dealt with death when I was a child. At first there was terror, because I had serious misconceptions about death. I thought I would still be concious, but unable to move and I feared the boredom and helplessness about that. I can't remember that my parents ever talked to me about that. But now that I am a parent on my own, I wish they had told me that I won't be concious and won't be feeling anymore. So the first thing I would do, is asking your daughter what she is afraid of the most. In a lot of cases you might be able to diminish her fears and remove frightening misconceptions about death.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To deal with the thought of death, I finally came up with my own beliefs that where far more pleasing than being unable to move while concious. I believed that death is just like sleep and that I will permanently live in a dream world.&#xA;I believed that every dead being lives there, that the dream world is the home for all souls. These are kind of religious believes, although my parents are not religious at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in case you are religious, it might be good to get into detail of your believes after death as most religions have pleasant views of it. If you are not religious, you can still help your child with explanations that make dead less fearable, like: After death is the same as it was before you where born. You don't remember it, you don't feel it, you don't perceive anything at all. You didn't suffer before you where born, did you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also knew as a child that old people are likely to die. I remember refusing to go to my grandmother for the weekend, although I loved her very much. I just feared she would die, while I was there. The thought hurt me a lot and it also hurt that I felt unable to visit her.&#xA;This is also something my parents never even got to know, yet I remember it so vividly. I wished someone had told me, that it is very unlikely for her to die, because she wasn't sick at all and didn't have any age related diseases. (Sidenote: She is still alive and very healthy)&#xA;So the problem was again a misconception: That all old people are highly likely to die at every given moment. This could have been resolved, if someone had talked to me about that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1290" LastEditorUserId="1290" LastEditDate="2014-05-25T20:17:20.153" LastActivityDate="2014-05-25T20:17:20.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12696" CreationDate="2014-05-25T22:44:46.390" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was born 3 weeks early, just on the line for being considered a premature birth. According to some measures, he was &quot;behind&quot; developmentally early on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say that you should evaluate what you read based on your direct experience with your child. Most books provide ranges for development in any case. If your question could be restated as &quot;Should I worry if my premature child is not hitting benchmarks based on her birth age?&quot;, the answer is an emphatic &quot;No.&quot; Regarding advice on what to do at certain ages, seek out advice that focuses less on calendar dates and more on developmental milestones already reached.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, too, that the period when this month's difference will comprise a significant percentage of your child's life is short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7822" LastActivityDate="2014-05-25T22:44:46.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12691" CreationDate="2014-05-25T23:07:56.253" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;To provide a specific answer to your question: no, there is not an established rule of etiquette for the situation you cite. The goal of etiquette, especially when throwing a party, is to put your guests at ease and allow them to have a good time. In this case, there are a few factors to consider with this specific guest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your relationship with the family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The relationship between the two younger siblings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your relationship with the other guests.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Arguments for inviting the sibling include the one you mentioned, so that there will be someone for your younger child to interact with, as well as the potential inconvenience to the primary guest's family of having to deliver their older child to the party and wait with the younger one while the younger is not invited. Especially if this is a single-parent family, which your use of the singular &quot;parent&quot; suggests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But this could be a slippery slope, since there are perhaps other guests with siblings, where you know the family and the sibling less well (or in the case of schoolmates, whether you know of a sibling's existence). Stretching your hospitality and budget to the point of stress does no favors for your guests. However, if you're friendly with this particular family as a whole, and inviting this one extra guest would both make that family's life easier by keeping them from needing to find some way to entertain/get care for the younger child, as well as making your job as a host easier because you don't have to spend as much effort worrying about or responding to your younger child, I'd say that's a very polite thing to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you discern that the two younger children are not close enough to enjoy being at the party together and/or you know that providing an alternative plan for the younger child presents no hardship to this family, then inviting the younger child and possibly putting them in the position of having to offer one yes and one no RSVP would be an imposition on them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7822" LastEditorUserId="7822" LastEditDate="2014-05-26T04:55:43.750" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T04:55:43.750" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12647" CreationDate="2014-05-25T23:43:14.523" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's absolutely normal, but that doesn't mean it's not correct to push back a bit. The child is making important connections about cause-and-effect and how to communicate. That's great news! They are also exhibiting the very standard child self-centered-ness. It's just beyond their developmental scope to grasp that their immediate needs and comfort are anything but critically important for them &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; those who love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you won't have a lot of luck at this age convincing them that their needs need to be judged against others' needs, you can have discussions about honesty, and promote your belief in honesty's importance. So when your child faux-cries to get attention and you call him out on it, go the next step and explicitly identify  his crying as not true. If an actual lie is told, say why that is bad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Children can be and often are very generous &amp;amp; considerate, but not usually in the face of their own perceived needs not being met.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7822" LastActivityDate="2014-05-25T23:43:14.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12682" CreationDate="2014-05-26T04:38:47.637" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Garters are made for the express purpose of keeping socks pulled up. Might be worth a try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, while somewhat hard to find, footed sleepers for bigger kids are totally available. My 5'4&quot; 13-year-old has a set that he still wears; they're Cherokee, one of the Target house brands, though I don't see anything on their site right now. But &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bigfeetpjs.com/pj-sleepwear/childrens-footy-pajamas-kids-juniors-footy-pjs.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Big Feet PJs&lt;/a&gt; seems to specialize in footed pajamas for warmth-seekers of all ages and sizes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7822" LastEditorUserId="7822" LastEditDate="2014-05-26T14:40:24.063" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T14:40:24.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12526" CreationDate="2014-05-26T15:11:53.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way I have heard (and that we use at home) is to give the child a sign to use. My daughter will raise her hand, because that's what she has learned in school. For a smaller child, it might be something as simple as taking your hand. Then, you need a sign to give back to him to indicate that you know he has something to say and that he can speak when you've finished. Maybe squeeze his hand gently. Then, when you reach a stopping place in your conversation, turn to the child and ask him what he wanted to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While he's learning to use this method, he will keep interrupting. My 7-year-old still interrupts, and we just say, mommy and daddy (or whoever) are talking now, you need to wait. So I think you're doing the right thing to not give in to it, but do reward him when he remembers by quickly wrapping up and letting him speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T15:11:53.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12464" CreationDate="2014-05-26T15:21:55.167" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Neither spiders, snakes, nor dinosaurs are &quot;dark&quot; things. Those are pretty normal interests for children. The if/then scenarios sound like she's working out of cause and effect - a normal and healthy thing for children to do. A lot of kids also love Halloween - they get to dress up and get free candy! Do you live in an area that is prone to tornadoes? Have you, or perhaps her school, talked about what she should do if there is one? It's also completely normal for a child to be fascinated with a new thing that they have been prepped for but not experienced. Vivid dreams, which are also eerie/scary/weird, continue into adulthood for many people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T15:21:55.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12434" CreationDate="2014-05-26T15:27:27.557" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, completely normal, and you should absolutely NOT try to &quot;break his habits!&quot; Drooling and chewing on anything that's handy is a natural response to impending teething. If you don't want him to chew on his fingers, you can give him something else for teething, but I think fingers are best, because teethers can get lost and cause unnecessary distress if he can't find them or get them into his mouth. You can also be confident that none of his fingers are going to break off and become a choking hazard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T15:27:27.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12690" CreationDate="2014-05-26T15:38:58.550" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_strabismus-and-amblyopia_10890.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_strabismus-and-amblyopia_10890.bc&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aapos.org/terms/conditions/21&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.aapos.org/terms/conditions/21&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer seems pretty clear: it's normal for newborns, but since this has continued to 3 months, you should definitely ask your doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Fortunately, these conditions can be successfully treated if detected early.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've knew a kindergarten-age kid who had a patch over one eye, and I've seen babies with the same.  It could also be an indication of other vision problems like farsightedness (in which case glasses could solve it), or it could be a problem in the tendons or muscles that could require surgery.  Or at this age it could still just go away by itself.  I personally wouldn't worry too much -- IF this is a problem, you're already ahead of the curve. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7824" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T15:38:58.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12706" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-26T17:22:03.403" Score="1" ViewCount="264" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 5/6 year old girl really doesn't like to kick the ball. Throwing is much more prefered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She would kick if a parent insists on it. But on her own volition she would always throw (so that when she plays with her brother or other kids, she may kick it with him 1 or 2 times and then insist that he keep kicking it to her bit she'll &lt;strong&gt;throw&lt;/strong&gt; it back to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She claims she has no issues physically (it doesn't hurt to kick - and she likes to kick the air in child Tae-Kwon-Do classes; she isn't afraid to fall); and she CAN kick - though not perfectly. This is pretty much the only physical activity she seems to dislike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could be the reason and how can I encourage her to kick the ball? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T23:35:11.880" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T23:35:11.880" Title="How can I encourage 5 year old to kick the ball?" Tags="|primary-schooler|sports|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12707" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-26T21:41:54.930" Score="2" ViewCount="284" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's already been discussed how to handle a nursing baby who gets distracted instead of eating: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6201/what-works-to-get-a-distracted-nurser-to-eat-during-the-day&quot;&gt;What works to get a distracted nurser to eat during the day?&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what strategies can I use to help a child of preschool or elementary school age who exibits the same pattern? Eats a bit and then gets distracted by... well, pretty much anything. Talk to whoever is around them (on any topic), think about stuff, play with utensils, look at the stuff in the room, sing/hum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems to be an issue of distraction: they exhibit the same &lt;em&gt;even when eating their favorite foods&lt;/em&gt;, but sometimes (rarely) given sufficient motivation they can breathe through exactly the same meal in 15-20 minutes instead of the usual 60. And the meal goes a lot faster if there's an adult in the room CONSTANTLY reminding them to concentrate on food (like, every minute). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T22:03:52.083" Title="What are good strategies to deal with a child getting distracted during meals?" Tags="|food|attention|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12707" CreationDate="2014-05-26T22:03:52.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes we have a deal with our son - if he feeds himself we'll read to him. If he reads to us, we'll feed him. We'll choose a book depending upon whether we want us to read or him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Upsides:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in the earlier days, it encouraged his love of reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;now (just turned 6) he gets more practice reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can get him to continue to eat by stopping reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;meals take 20 minutes instead of an hour&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it teaches him that he can efficiently feed himself (when motivated)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Downside:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take away the book and he reverts to slow grazing &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us, we're happy to have quick meals and a child who likes books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T22:03:52.083" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12694" CreationDate="2014-05-26T23:28:09.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you asked your child what does she feel when she eats those foods? Maybe she feels discomfort that is related to something else besides just flavor. From what i read you want her to consume them raw, so for instance, maybe her teeth feel discomfort. I know it is difficult to get information from children, i've worked in a kindergarten, but your child seems pretty open to trying new things. Maybe the problem is somewhere else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7827" LastActivityDate="2014-05-26T23:28:09.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12694" CreationDate="2014-05-27T04:32:24.873" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are like any other person, and we all have food likes and dislikes. Furthermore, their sense of taste and preferences change rapidly over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter went through a number of years where she didn't like tomatoes or tomato sauce or similar. She had liked it fine before, but for a while she wouldn't even eat ketchup on fries. All she could explain was that it was &quot;too spicy,&quot; which I guess was her kid-way of saying acidic? Eventually her palate changed again and she'll eat most of it except raw tomatoes. It sounds like your child just doesn't like onions and garlic. I know adults who feel the same. Heck, now that I'm getting older I get a weird bad feeling if I eat too much raw onion so I've cut back on it myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's OK to keep offering them from time to time for when and if a palate change comes, but consider that they aren't just a child, they are a person. If someone rides me day after day about eating something I just don't like, I consider them rude. It's one thing to insist on a healthy diet in general for your kid, it's another to force a very small subset of food they don't like upon them. It is rude and is teaching them to be rude when they want to get their way about something in the future. Ease off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastEditorUserId="1750" LastEditDate="2014-05-27T20:28:13.080" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T20:28:13.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12711" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-27T11:34:50.183" Score="13" ViewCount="223215" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like some help on how to deal with an 8 year old boy, who is refusing to go number 2's in the toilet and does them in his pants and then won't go and clean himself up.  I have talked to him and asked if there is anything going on at school that may have upset him and he told me no.  I have seen a doctor, no help, I finally got out of him tonight that its because he is being lazy.  I then told him that it was not on and if it happens again he will loose his privileges, and he said he didn't care.  I also made him hand wash his soiled clothes( this may have been the wrong thing to do) to which he said he didn't care.  This has been going on since he was a baby.  I'm at my wits end HELP&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7830" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T11:14:21.977" LastActivityDate="2019-07-13T15:00:11.907" Title="My son is 8 and is still soiling his pants and doesn't care" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|encopresis|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12712" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12721" CreationDate="2014-05-27T14:16:44.723" Score="14" ViewCount="44525" Body="&lt;p&gt;The overwhelming consensus online is that microwaving a babies bottle can be &quot;dangerous&quot; because microwaving formula &lt;a href=&quot;http://similac.com/feeding-nutrition/formula-feeding/making-a-baby-bottle&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;can produce hot spots&lt;/a&gt;. However, if you simply swirl the bottle you can even out the heat distribution and eliminate said hot spots. The amount of bubbles produced by swirling is minimal and heat redistributes very easily in liquid. That being the case, if I test the formula's heat and its a good temperature, and the heat is redistributed, whats the big deal about microwaving the bottle? Is it just that people can't be trusted to swirl the bottle well and test the temperature? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I don't have access to the full articles, but for what its worth, here are a few articles which discuss the nutritional effects of microwaving formula and/or breastmilk (thanks to @&lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/users/26221/bestander&quot;&gt;bestander&lt;/a&gt;);&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8889628&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8889628&lt;/a&gt; - Says there are no effects on B1/E/acids if the resulting average heat is not higher than 60 C  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11403146&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11403146&lt;/a&gt; - Reinforcement of first study results, showing no difference in B1/B6 levels if compared to stove top heating  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://m.pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/89/4/667.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://m.pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/89/4/667.short&lt;/a&gt; - E.coli bacteria grows faster in microwaved milk than control, i.e. antibacterial qualities are reduced  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/90/3/412.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/90/3/412.abstract&lt;/a&gt; - There is no significant loss of either riboflavin or vitamin C. Routine mixing resulted in formula temperatures which could safely be fed to infants. &quot;portions reached a mean temperature of 44.7 C&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2189981&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2189981&lt;/a&gt; - abstract is missing results  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6234" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2016-12-23T19:13:41.510" Title="Is it dangerous to microwave formula if I swirl the bottle and test the temperature afterwards?" Tags="|infant|feeding|formula|temperatures|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12680" CreationDate="2014-05-27T14:33:18.577" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;General problems and benefits (which apply equally to adults and children):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shower&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chance to slip and fall (causing injury)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Uneven distribution of water over body / having to step out of the water (not really a health risk, but can cause discomfort); this will depend on type of shower head, where the head points, height of the person, and size of the person.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Usually much quicker.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Little/no prep time required&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dirt and such is rinsed off and directly down the drain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bath&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chance of drowning (falling asleep, passing out, slip/fall)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dirt, soap suds, and such stay in the bath as you wash (bathing in dirty water)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Long prep time (which can be more difficult to get the 'right' temperature)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Water cools over time (this may be a detriment or benefit depending on opinion)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More relaxing (dependent on personality of bather)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Possibly beneficial for sore muscles or the like (bad backs?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For younger children, make sure they're being observed regardless of whether they take a shower or bath.  Overall, the only reason really to definitely take a shower over a bath is dependent on how dirty the bather is.  If the bather is very dirty, a shower is better due to the benefit of having all the dirt and such washed off and straight down the drain.  Otherwise it's almost completely dependent on the personality of the bather and possibly any time constraints you have.  (This is assuming that the bather is competent enough not to have an accident like slip/fall).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I looked to see if I could find research proving that either of the choices were healthier (common sense told me that a shower should be healthier due to not 'stewing in your own filth') but was unable to find any conclusive research one way or the other.  Either the topic hasn't been well researched, or the research that has been done has found no significant health benefit/risk between the two.  The only exception being the possible benefit of a hot/cold bath on sore muscles and such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6535" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T14:33:18.577" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12714" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12720" CreationDate="2014-05-27T14:39:33.823" Score="12" ViewCount="976" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last weekend, my wife took our two children (almost 3 and 14 months) to the museum.  They go there frequently (5-10 times in the last six months), and usually have no problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This time, the older one was a bit more tired than expected, and didn't do a very good job staying close to mommy.  He twice went off to do something where she couldn't see him for thirty seconds or so, and while she knew where he was generally, obviously this isn't a good idea.  The second time, she made it clear to him he would have to leave if it occurred again; which it did about a half hour later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unsurprisingly, as he was misbehaving likely due to tiredness, he threw a huge fit leaving, had to be physically restrained and hit/bit several times on the way out.  This is normally challenging, even more so given there was also a 14 month old in tow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, the first best answer for how to avoid this is simple: figure out when he's getting tired, and leave then rather than later.  However, given sometimes we're going to get that wrong, what good solutions are there for extraction?  This isn't a normal extraction, ie, leaving at closing or a designated time; this is when he's specifically crossed a line that means we have to leave now - so no &quot;two minutes&quot; or timers, which usually work very well.  We'd rather not use physical restraint - it makes things worse, as it did here - but we don't entirely know what else to do.  In quieter areas I might head towards the exit and expect him to follow (which usually works), but in a somewhat crowded museum that seems dangerous (and likely to hurt his feelings, as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T14:34:35.357" Title="How to extract child from busy place without physical restraint" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12712" CreationDate="2014-05-27T14:46:23.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's certainly not illegal, it's just ill-advised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to your child's safety, is it really worth taking the risk? I believe a better statement would be &lt;strong&gt;&quot;During the heating or feeding process, no single part of the bottle or food should ever be hotter than what you would give to your infant&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swirling the formula around to distribute the heat is explicit acknowledgment that some part of the formula will be hotter than others, and likely hotter than you'd give to your infant. Additionally, the bottle itself might be unevenly heated, and in that case, the heat will not equalize nearly as quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Piggybacking on what Joe mentioned, you're also risking breaking down the nutritive value of the formula by microwaving it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To counter your point re: microwave sanitization: When you sanitize bottles in a microwave, they're all pointing downward and draining any fluid (and chemical) buildup. When you're microwaving a bottle with formula, there's no such drainage, and any chemical buildup is absorbed by the formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Potential Solutions&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're using powder-mix formula, use warm water to mix instead of cold water.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're using full-strength formula, most don't need to be refrigerated, so they can stay at room temperature&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're using a concentrate to mix pitchers and put the rest in the refrigerator, the best way to heat it is to run the body of the bottle under warm water, swirling the formula around so it all gets heated evenly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, if you have access to a microwave, you have access to hot water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7649" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T14:46:23.430" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12690" CreationDate="2014-05-27T15:26:15.963" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;See an optometrist. Our son had a similar condition and the younger you start treating it the better. He just had to wear an eye patch for 15 minutes a day for a few months. He hated it at first, but in a couple of days he was playing as normal and didn't notice the patch at all after we put it on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2715" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T15:26:15.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12694" CreationDate="2014-05-27T15:39:52.337" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, spicy food is something that one can build up a tolerance to.  Eat one raw clove of garlic, and it's going to be overwhelming.  Eat them once a day, and within a few days, it doesn't seem nearly so strong (and yes, I've tried it; I used to use it as a means of discouraging mosquitos from biting me while spending long periods outdoors... I'm not sure if it's scientifically valid, but it &lt;em&gt;seemed&lt;/em&gt; to work).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my suggestion is to gradually build up her exposure over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you stated that she will eat the cooked forms without a major problem, I suggest starting with that.  Recognizing that the &lt;em&gt;long term&lt;/em&gt; goal is to get her to eat the foods in their raw form, for the time being just stick with meals incorporating cooked onions/garlic/scallions.  Use those cooked ingredients frequently in meals throughout the week.  You may have an easier time getting this to work if their presence isn't overly obvious.  Sauces or casseroles would probably work better than stir fries, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, after she's been consistently exposed to them for a while, start adding small amounts of the raw ingredients &lt;em&gt;with the cooked version&lt;/em&gt; (i.e. after the sauce is cooked, sprinkle some raw onion/garlic/scallions on top, then stir them in).  Gradually increase the proportion of raw to cooked, until you're at about 50% raw/cooked, and (hopefully) she's eating them without complaint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, you can ask her to try them in more &quot;obvious&quot; forms again (such as raw onion on a sandwich).  You may find that she's changed her mind, since her palate will hopefully have become acclimated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T15:39:52.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12601" CreationDate="2014-05-27T15:42:33.080" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We set up an appointment with a specialist a few days ago, and they agreed that getting pictures/videos would be helpful (that's really hard, by the way, as whenever we notice it he inevitably sees us and the eye re-focuses!).  They also asked us what direction the eye tends to go - apparently 'inside' is more common, although in our case 'outside' is - and whether the eye promptly re-focuses properly, or if it is crossed or out of focus for longer periods of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pediatrician did recommend we see one of a few specialists who specialize in this specific condition, as she felt it was important to do so particularly given the age of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T15:42:33.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12712" CreationDate="2014-05-27T16:13:52.283" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on the formula that you're using, they might have some &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Probiotic&quot;&gt;probiotics&lt;/a&gt; in their composition. For example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nestle-baby.ca/en/products/formula/starter/goodstart_probiotic.htm&quot;&gt;Nestlé&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probiotics have small tolerance to high temperatures, so preparing the formula (or heating it after it was prepared) above some temperature might kill those probiotics, reducing the nutritional value of the formula. For example, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nestlebaby.com.au/products/infant-formula/nan-pro-gold-1/&quot;&gt;this preparation guide&lt;/a&gt; advises to use water at 40 degrees Celsius (after it was boiled and let to cool down).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using the microwave might require you to have a control over this temperature (i.e., you should be sure it won't get higher than 40 degrees). If specific points of the formula over-heat, in that area those probiotics might die, but it doesn't mean that the whole formula lost it value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T16:13:52.283" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12714" CreationDate="2014-05-27T18:57:28.830" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a horrible experience having to drag a child kicking and screaming out of a place, but it's sometimes the right thing to do and unavoidable. When children get tired and overstimulated sometimes the best thing to do is get them somewhere quiet where they can calm down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 3 years old children pass the point of being able to reason with them pretty often, no amount of cajoling or rewarding is going to work and you've got to do things your way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to deal with the situation is not to get into it in the first place. Limit time in really stimulating environments and take breaks in quiet spots. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2016-05-19T14:34:35.357" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T14:34:35.357" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12712" CreationDate="2014-05-27T20:53:52.807" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Noah &amp;amp; woliveirajr are both correct that there is some risk of reducing nutritional value, I'm sure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will offer as counter point my home study (sample size=2) of children who were bottle-fed formula almost exclusively as infants; formula which was on occasion reheated in the microwave. They are now 12 and 9, healthy, and not malnourished. They definitely suffer from one side effect often linked to formula feeding, which is being extraordinarily picky, bland eaters to this day. While the formula feeding may have contributed to that problem, I'm hard pressed to think how occasional microwaving of the formula would have made it worse - does killing nutrients also mean making it blander? Fail to nourish developing taste buds? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's long enough ago that I don't have a firm recollection of just how often we did this. Certainly not all the time, but probably at least one feeding a day? But I could totally be making that up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7822" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T20:53:52.807" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12714" CreationDate="2014-05-27T21:03:52.593" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The alternative (not necessarily the better one, but worth considering) is waiting out the tantrum right there. Your wife wasn't necessarily planning to leave right then, and as long as she stays firm that the next step is leaving, and he's not allowed to do anything else in the museum, or really move from the spot, it can work, and he will probably eventually leave of his own volition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No doubt it's hard, and the severity/volume of the meltdown may be just too humiliating to wait out in a public place. If you can get them into a corner or alcove that's slightly removed, or worst-case, a restroom, it may be better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7822" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T21:03:52.593" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12723" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-27T21:39:04.050" Score="5" ViewCount="143" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there any benefits or downsides in feeding the children (around elementary school age) on the schedule of &quot;I'm hungry now&quot; as opposed to scheduled meal times?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is of course assuming that the nutritional content remains the same, e.g. it's not like they demand a piece of cake 1 hr before lunch and then don't eat soup or veggies because of that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example would be: they ask for food 1 hour before usual lunch time and get a fruit salad (that they would otherwise get at snack time) because they aren't yet hungry enough for full lunch. Then they eat lunch 1-2 hrs later. Then then demand what would have been dinner during snack (but eat less of it) and then finish the day at usual dinner time with something light like an extra Yogurt. So they get 1 extra meal, with a &lt;strong&gt;mild&lt;/strong&gt; increase in calories&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;, and no decrease in useful nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My main concern is lack of stable food schedule&lt;/strong&gt; induced by indulging such demands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that a valid concern as long as I manage the total nutritional input in a sane way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things that worry me is that during school days they obviously don't have such flexibility for the first 3 meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[1] - The specific kids in question have decent metabolism and are stably UNDER the average weight, so extra calories are NOT an issue. Confirmed with their pediatrician&lt;/sub&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-05-27T21:49:58.320" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T15:55:02.993" Title="Are there any benefits or downsides in &quot;flexible&quot; food time?" Tags="|nutrition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12665" CreationDate="2014-05-27T23:56:47.903" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming that the parent &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; understand? So the tactic features a lie as its central feature. And the lesson this is supposed to teach the kid is... what, exactly? Lie and be stubborn to get your way? I would consider imparting that lesson to be a major downside to this approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example of a more constructive approach might be to actually treat them as sentient creatures with some desire for control in their life: &quot;The advantages to being bilingual are enormous, it's a superpower most people don't have, and it's many times harder to come by as an adult than as a kid. So I think it's really important that you not squander the opportunity to become fluent in this language while you're young and have unfettered access to native speakers to practice with. So here's what we're going to do: On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, let's only speak Urdu at home. All of us. On Tuesday, Thursday, and the weekend, we'll speak only English, and you can give me tips to help improve my English.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to shoulder the burden yourself, either. Outsource so you aren't the bad guy. Enroll them in an after-school or weekend activity that involves speaking Urdu. Send them for a month to visit Urdu-only-speaking relatives during the summer. There are all sorts of ways to make picking up a language fun and interesting, and if you have to describe it as &quot;forcing&quot;, maybe you're not using the right tactic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2014-05-27T23:56:47.903" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12630" CreationDate="2014-05-28T00:35:17.400" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children's multivitamins are an option. They are chewable and more like lollies than pills. This has the advantage of topping up a wide variety of vitamins. Our son was borderline on iron and a little deficient in vitamin D so we started giving him multivitamins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, this should be done as a top-up to a healthy diet and lifestyle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T00:35:17.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12726" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12734" CreationDate="2014-05-28T02:31:43.513" Score="5" ViewCount="338" Body="&lt;p&gt;Obviously, the kids of, well, my age are suckers for reputation points and badges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the good approaches as far as rewards for kids elementary school age if you want to incentivize them via gamification?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Star stickers seem a bit too 3-year-old (though may be if I call them rep points? :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Incentivising via edible treats seems like a REALLY bad approach to me (they are humans, not puppies).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Incentivising via parental attention seems like a bad idea as well. Kids should never feel that parental attention is a thing to toy with. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Incentivising via toys stops working when they accumulate too many toys or parents run out of money. When you have 20 different matchstick cars, 21st one seems to be... meh.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what are the GOOD approaches?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-05-29T19:16:48.063" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T20:37:44.930" Title="What are the good approaches to gamify for kids of elementary school age?" Tags="|reward|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12727" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-28T02:31:52.310" Score="3" ViewCount="10151" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am asking about my stepson.  I don't have any children of my own, but to me his behavior seems bizarre.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He talks constantly and will say the same thing several times using different words.  For example: &quot;That building is really old.  Look at that old building.  That building looks really old.&quot;  This happened during a walk recently.  We acknowledge and respond to each statement, but after that third time it gets kind of redundant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, he needs specific instructions.  If you ask him to get dressed and do not tell him to take off his pajamas he will just put his clothes on over top.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He checks out mentally a lot.  You can send him into the bathroom to brush his teeth and find him standing there ten minutes later, staring into space, not yet having brushed his teeth.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also has a very poor memory.  He cannot recall what he did at school or what he ate for lunch.  Basic questions seem to confuse him.  I ask &quot;what did you do at the park?&quot;  He says &quot; what did I do?&quot;  Or he will just not answer or will make up an answer.  I guess because he can't remember.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He asks a lot of rhetorical questions, for example, when I am making coffee he will ask what I am doing.  I use to answer but now I say &quot;what does it look like I am doing?&quot; where he will respond &quot;making coffee.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other times he is super bright; good coordination.  I taught him to ride his bike at age four.  I just don't get it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it is like he is incapable of being alone or entertaining himself.  He will follow you everywhere and wants to get super close.  If you send him to his room to play he will ask to watch T.V. instead.  If he is told &quot;no, go play with your toys for a bit&quot; he usually won't go, he will just hide in the stairwell.  He would prefer to just sit on the steps and watch me wash dishes or his dad do paperwork.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7833" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-28T07:49:46.200" LastActivityDate="2016-07-11T16:05:31.263" Title="Is this strange behavior for a 5-year-old?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12714" CreationDate="2014-05-28T08:44:29.857" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on what type of physical restraint we are talking about. Obviously your wife didn't hog tie him and throw over her shoulder. I would say that if she just picked him up and carried him out, I wouldn't say it's crossing any sort of abusive line. This is a situation where somewhat immediate action is needed. Tantrums have a wide range or severity. They can be gentle crying or outright physical violence. Every tantrum has a potential to escalate to a level where it could be harmful for the child, harmful for other patrons or the parent, or harmful to the surrounding environment (angry enough to break an exhibit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried both methods already mentioned; the quick extraction or the wait it out. The one and only time I tried the wait it out, the tantrum escalated to a point of no return and I had to carry her out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe removing the child from the busy environment will quell the tantrum. I also believe that you have removed them from a comfortable zone to act out in; think about it, lots of people, big audience, more attention, and that's typically the purpose of a tantrum. When you put them in an environment where you are more comfortable, it gives you the upper hand. Removing a screaming child is not fun, especially if you are getting hit/bit/scratched but sometimes the best method isn't the easiest or most peaceful method. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T08:44:29.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12729" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-05-28T10:06:36.687" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-05-28T10:06:36.687" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T10:06:36.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12730" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-05-28T10:06:36.687" Score="0" Body="This refers to relationships between a child or group of children and other children, their siblings, or their parents. This could also refer to a relationship between parents in regards to the rearing of a child." OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-29T11:20:16.313" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T11:20:16.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12508" CreationDate="2014-05-28T10:15:12.497" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At our local music school courses start the year the kids are 6. The usual pack is 2.5h per week divided among:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Solfège&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Choir singing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning the first instrument (piano, guitar, you name it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids started last september with piano when they were 5. The first three months they &lt;strike&gt;constantly shouted&lt;/strike&gt; stated in a civil manner their opposition to music lessons. The next four months they wanted to switch to trumpet, guitar or whatever rather than piano. Now they enjoy it a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the only things in danger are your patience, family budget and eardrums. Your kids will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7834" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T10:15:12.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12727" CreationDate="2014-05-28T10:37:24.083" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perfectly normal for a child based on your descriptions and not too distant from my youngest (and he's 8 years old)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I put a lot of it down to attention and everything has to centre around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4202" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T10:37:24.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12665" CreationDate="2014-05-28T10:38:54.483" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience and opinion, the downsides to the approach of refusing to respond if the child speaks in the native tongue instead of the desired language, is the confusion of the role and abilities of the parent. The parent's job is to raise a human who can communicate effectively and directly, without relying on manipulation and subterfuge to reach his goals. By relying on manipulation and subterfuge himself, the parent is displaying this as an acceptable approach to getting what he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally the child should always have the security that, of all the confusing and hapless people in the world, he can always confide his feelings, needs, and confusions to his parent. Pretending that the parent &lt;em&gt;sometimes, depending on circumstance&lt;/em&gt; does not understand the child completely destroys this security. This could be devastating latter in life when the then-no-longer-a-child must confide that he failed an exam, crashed the car, or is gay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way that I deal with the situation is by &lt;em&gt;listening to things said in both languages&lt;/em&gt;, but only giving the wanted response in the language that I want to encourage. For instance, on the evenings that I randomly choose to encourage English:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Daughter: אפשר לקבל גלידה?‏&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Me: לא!‏&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Daughter: May I have ice cream?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Me: Sure!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This gives both &lt;strong&gt;positive reinforcement&lt;/strong&gt; to the target language and &lt;strong&gt;negative reinforcement&lt;/strong&gt; to the 'default' language. Additionally, it teaches the children that &lt;strong&gt;how they ask&lt;/strong&gt; a question is no less important that &lt;strong&gt;what they are asking for&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that I ease the girls into this routine at the beginning of the evening by speaking English to them first, so it is not a surprise when I'll only be amenable in a certain language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastEditorUserId="1419" LastEditDate="2014-06-01T08:59:37.707" LastActivityDate="2014-06-01T08:59:37.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12726" CreationDate="2014-05-28T10:46:14.907" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My favorite incentive is a good story or riddle. My children happen to love riddles and real historical stories, so if I need to encourage some behavior I will start with a teaser and let them know that the rest of the story is coming at bedtime if they do as I request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has the advantage of encouraging listening and paying attention, as well. When the story or riddle is a 'fun' activity that they've earned, children are much more apt to pay attention. And my kids know quite a bit of sciences, physics, and natural and human history!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T10:46:14.907" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12727" CreationDate="2014-05-28T10:55:12.487" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although your son's behaviour might be strange to some people, it seems perfectly fine. Some children are daydreamers and your son seems to be one too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He lives in his own world and thoughts, so he just stands there and stares into open space. He forgets about the lunch and other activities, because they are not important to him or because he dreamed while doing them in auto-mode. Maybe he was in the park not doing anything at all despite thinking, so he didn't do or see anything he could tell you about. He probably recognizes that people find it weird if he doesn't remember, so he makes something up to fit in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rhetorical questions might be a way for him trying to connect to you, if he doesn't know what else to say. He might use it as a conversation starter, in the hope you tell him more other things as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Implicit statements might be hard to understand for him or he doesn't even question the purpose or sense of your instructions, because he has other thoughts in mind in the meanwhile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children constantly saying the same things with different words don't seem unusual to me. Maybe the fact that the house is old impressed him a lot, maybe he needs to tell it several times to put emphasis on it, to let you know that this is important to him at that moment.&#xA;Or maybe he enjoys your attention, but can not come up with something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The unability to entertain himself is another thing, imho. It is something a child has to learn and watching you also seems a kind of self-entertainment for your son. Children also prefer to be close to their parents, playing in the same room if possible. If this is an option for you, allow him to play where you are. Or allow him to watch you or to participate in whatever you are doing (if possible).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly: Take him the way he is and concentrate on his strengths. People tend to misunderstand daydreamers and show disapproval for their behaviour, because it doesn't make sense to them. Let your son know, that he is perfectly fine, especially through your actions (e.g. don't raise your eyebrow in disapproval, because he did something you can not understand for the moment; don't laugh about him, unless he laughs about his behaviour too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1290" LastEditorUserId="1290" LastEditDate="2014-05-28T11:04:38.657" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T11:04:38.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12652" CreationDate="2014-05-28T14:33:30.250" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You would have to qualify the definition of normal to get an appropriate answer but I'll go ahead and assume you are asking based on the majority of other children. I would say this is normal. I used to hum all the time. Sometimes I would sing too, but mostly hum but then I started playing guitar. While sometimes I still hum, when I am feeling &quot;musical&quot; I usually go grab my acoustic and play for a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it's not uncommon for someone to get a song stuck in their head. I despise having a song stuck in my head because otherwise, once again, I'll start to hum it without even realizing it. My cure for that is to put the song on repeat until I am absolutely sick of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, either get the kid an instrument, ignore it, or find out which song is stuck in their head so they can quickly purge it and you can go back to enjoying meal time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T14:33:30.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12739" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-28T15:26:09.003" Score="3" ViewCount="164" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are multilayer games (e.g. monopoly) a good present for a child's birthday?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Assuming of course that the child is old enough to enjoy the specific game (e.g. elementary school age for monopoly).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the possible downsides?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the answer depends on siblings, assume that the child has siblings who would be interested in playing that game as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own main concern is that the child would feel that the present isn't really for &lt;strong&gt;them&lt;/strong&gt; because other people play it at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T22:57:31.983" Title="Is it a good idea to give games that are multiplayer to a younger kid as a birthday present?" Tags="|jealousy|presents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12741" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12746" CreationDate="2014-05-28T17:10:52.910" Score="12" ViewCount="30831" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a struggle every night, and every morning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We start around 7:30-8:00 PM...&quot;shower time&quot; and the struggle starts. She's got school the next morning and I'm trying to get her showered, and dressed, bed time story read, and laying down no later than 9 PM. We have to be up by 7 AM to be at school no later than 8:30 AM. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always at night she will come up with a million random excuses, and fart around, and before I know it we are 15 minutes to 9 PM! Now I'm frustrated! So then she gets out of the shower and now &quot;I'm hungry&quot;, grrrrr..... So I feel guilty about sending her to bed hungry despite the fact that she already had dinner earlier so I sit her down to eat and now it's about 9 PM! She eats S L O W L Y.......9:15, finally she's done and now she needs to brush her teeth and get in bed. By this time it's like 9:30 and she's asking me to read her a story, I have a rule that if you want me to read you a story you have to be in bed early. So now I feel guilty that we didn't get story time. I kiss her good night and walk out. Next thing I know she's up getting a glass of water, then a few mins later she's up again saying she can't sleep. By this time it's around 10 PM and she's asking if she can sleep in my bed so she can fall asleep easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm frustrated and exhausted, I have a 4 month old that I'm trying to contend with at the same time, I'm trying to put the house back in order before getting baby and I ready for bed (which I'm trying to get my infant on a decent sleep schedule too) and I still have my dinner mess to clean up, lunches to prepare, and 3 days a week I have to prep for my 12 hour work days and by this time I'm lucky to get 5 hours of sleep. So on my off days I get up at 7 AM and my 7 year old fights to wake up for school. (Sigh) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to teach my daughter punctuality, and good time management which are two things no one ever taught me and I struggle with to this very day. These are very important things to exercise in life and being that these areas aren't my strong suit how do I teach this to my daughter? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would love to hear how other parents tackle this issue:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7840" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-05-28T18:25:54.910" LastActivityDate="2020-03-03T21:21:53.143" Title="Help! My 7 year old won't go to bed early, or get up early" Tags="|sleep|discipline|primary-schooler|bedtime|working-parents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3486" CreationDate="2014-05-28T18:00:37.373" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just wanted to share, I work in a hospital and one of my co-workers is a nursing student. This student was studying one day and randomly asked me what I think my daughters biggest fears are. I responded going to the dr. He replied ok so being in pain? Yep! I asked why? It's part of their curriculum and I asked him what it said about all ages, to which he replied: infants/toddlers fear of abandonment, children it was fear of pain/ death. So I wouldn't say entirely abnormal, some kids may be more afraid than others and need a little counseling to work through it. Kids are overly sensitive and take everything literal and sometimes need to be grounded or brought back down to earth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7840" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T18:00:37.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12741" CreationDate="2014-05-28T18:25:33.580" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have a child who has a hard time falling asleep.  This was me as a kid - I didn't do all of the above, but it took me hours to fall asleep, literally.  I would lie down with the lights off at 10pm, and not fall asleep for one to two hours most nights - then still wake up around 7am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A seven year old child is old enough to have intelligent conversations about her behavior, and about the reasons for her actions as well as the reasons she may need to alter her behavior.  That should be the first thing you do: have a deep, heart to heart conversation where you clearly lay out why this is an issue, why it's important - for her - that she go to bed at a certain time and wake up by a certain time (often the latter is a driving factor for the former - it's harder to wake up when you haven't slept enough).  She needs to buy in to the idea of going to bed on time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During that conversation, though, make sure the tenor is that you want to both convince her she should want to do this, but also you want to help her find ways to manage this so it's not intolerable.  Ask her why she's having trouble going to sleep.  She's clearly using delaying tactics; these have a reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess would be that she finds it hard to fall asleep unless she's exhausted, and that she doesn't enjoy lying down for an hour or two waiting to fall asleep.  That means helping her find strategies for coping with this, and also compromising in some areas where it might be easier on you both even if you aren't getting to the 'ideal' solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some strategies include teaching her to make up stories in her head - this worked well for me, and perhaps she can even record them or write them down; playing music (if she's an intelligent child, anything to give her mind something to focus on is very helpful); planning her next day out in her head; doing multiplication tables.  Some kids will do better if you give them a flashlight and let them read a book in bed (no overhead lights); give the rule that she can do it so long as she wakes up without complaints, but a complaint in the morning about waking up means no reading in bed the next night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, recognize that some people simply have different circadian rhythms.  Some people would be happier on a later schedule (sleeping 11pm-8am, for example).  Some people, even kids, simply need less sleep.  You should see if you can adapt the schedule such that she is able to still get enough sleep.  Can she do all of the 'getting ready for tomorrow' things at night?  Shower at night, pick out clothes at night, etc., so that all she needs to do in the AM is slip on the morning's outfit and jump in the car with a hairbrush?  Maybe that extra hour of sleep in the morning would improve things.  She'd have to promise to wake up right away, of course, and stick to it - but perhaps that would help things for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T18:25:33.580" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12748" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12852" CreationDate="2014-05-29T01:15:21.697" Score="7" ViewCount="1996" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit - May 30, 2014&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Details on this question can be found below, but here is a summary of my questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I approach the parents of these children?&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What should I say to the parents?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do I work with the parents to set rules for their kids? (I've never had to do that with other parents.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I let kids play with my daughter who seem less interested in her and more in her toys?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I make it clear to these children that they are not to play at our house (ex: in the back yard) while we aren't home?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I keep the number of children within a manageable level? I know I don't feel comfortable about having 7 kids over.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Original Post&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have recently started having some strange neighbor kids come over to our house and start playing in the back yard and I'm not sure how to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day we found 2 of these kids that we don't know or recognize playing in the back yard with our daughter and her friend. We didn't say anything, but just thought it was weird. Then there were five, then there were 7. This all happened in two days (literally overnight). We've tried to discourage so many coming over and it has helped, but now these neighbor kids are starting to play with our kids outside toys when we aren't even home. I also found out that these kids have taken toys from other homes. They are all pretty young (probably 9 years old and younger) so I'm sure it isn't malicious, but I'm definitely not comfortable with it. We don't have a garage, so we cant lock things up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't know the parents, but I think I know where they live. They are of Hispanic origin, but I don't know if this is a cultural thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have experience with this? Insights from Hispanics are especially welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1794" LastEditorUserId="1794" LastEditDate="2014-05-30T14:55:51.480" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T17:55:57.977" Title="What do you do when neighbor children that you don't know start coming over to your house to play with your kids?" Tags="|friends|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12749" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-29T07:20:25.860" Score="2" ViewCount="126" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 19 months old but still need a breastfeed to soothe him before go to sleep. What are good ways to help him sleep without breastfeeding? And by the way, how bad this could be if I let him continue this habit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7844" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T15:26:05.180" Title="What are good ways to help my son sleep without breastfeeding?" Tags="|sleep|breastfeeding|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12749" CreationDate="2014-05-29T11:06:00.550" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter continued breast feeding until she was over 2. The way we stopped was to provide her with warm milk as a substitute and simply to say that &quot;Mamma's milk has stopped.&quot; She was old enough to understand what this meant, and accepted it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In don't think it is a bad habit. Plenty of studies show the benefits of breast milk (so long as you are willing and able to produce it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T11:06:00.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12751" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-27T20:05:57.667" Score="5" ViewCount="602" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know that raising kids bilingual can be a great blessing to them in the future. I am a native English speaker, but have learned a second language which is rarely used in the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My real question is, are there any benefits to being bilingual OTHER THAN simply knowing a second language? If I raised my child as bilingual, I can almost guarantee they would have no use for the second language. Is there some other benefit to being bilingual? Is it worth me raising my kids bilingual even if they never use their second language?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Humdinger" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-29T13:23:11.017" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T03:02:46.107" Title="Should I teach my child a second language?" Tags="|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12751" CreationDate="2014-05-28T23:40:07.480" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2.5 years old and is already multilingual. She can speak 4 languages and one of them is English. I am sure that extra languages are never a waste. One way or another a child has a use for them. As many already said, multilingualism has a good effect on the way kids use their brain and they can express themselves better. Just remember a golden rule: &lt;strong&gt;You must address your child in one language&lt;/strong&gt;. If you switch between languages, the child will never learn them both well. Let the other language to your partner. If you have family members that are also bilinguals, you should also tell them to speak one of the languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also find this article interesting: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/the-benefits-of-bilingualism.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/the-benefits-of-bilingualism.html?_r=0&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Midas" LastActivityDate="2014-05-28T23:40:07.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12753" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-29T14:09:21.357" Score="5" ViewCount="563" Body="&lt;p&gt;After a large (say 8+ people) birthday party, a child usually has TONS of presents (from party-attending kids; plus from parents and other relatives).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is a good approach in terms of unpacking and letting a child play with them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them open and play 100% of them the same day? Have them pick and open 1-2 a day? Prioritize the presents somehow (ones from important relatives first)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the benefits and downsides of various approaches?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ppreschool or elementary school age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T12:18:34.783" Title="How do you handle present overload?" Tags="|birthday|presents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12754" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-29T14:17:17.747" Score="5" ViewCount="277" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to handle a situation where one of the presents a child gets is either bad (broken toy); or a dangerous toy for their age (fully functional real Ninja sword); or inappropriate (adult party game, religious item from another religion). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The assumption here is that the child was present for the unwrapping and already saw the present and may get excited over the item immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the obvious grown-up advice is to return the present with the return reciept; I have almost never observed child presents having return reciepts so that's not an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age range late preschool or elementary school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question specifically pertains to handling the gifts from the perspective of your child, NOT how to handle the situation with the person who have the bad gift afterwards&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-05-29T15:02:09.277" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T19:37:31.303" Title="Best way to handle bad or inappropriate present?" Tags="|birthday|presents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12755" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-29T15:56:01.840" Score="1" ViewCount="291" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 5 year old and she likes to play baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't mean she wet their pants or actually act like a baby. I mean she likes to immitate some baby talk and things like that. Completely manageable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I feel she's requesting more attention, maybe because in her mind, people care more about babies, so if she's a baby... I think you've got my point here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I'd like to promote some more independent behavior, like eating by herself, slicing the food by herself, getting a little more responsabilities, learning to be more patient, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know some of these things are hard even for grown-ups (such as being patient) but, well, someone has to help to start it from somewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'd like to ask here: is this &quot;baby playing&quot; thing normal at this age? Should I care about it or is it part of a normal process? Do you also have experienced anything like that and how did you deal with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7244" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T20:51:29.903" Title="My 5-year daughter likes to play baby" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12753" CreationDate="2014-05-29T16:01:00.163" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have exactly the same problem here. My 5-year old daughter. Toys are cheaper today. Kids parties in Brazil look like some pretty big events.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I let her open all the gifts in the same day. She can't play with them all and most of the time she forgets what toys she has. No kid can deal with that amount of toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I've talked to her that she has a limited space to store these toys, so she must choose the ones she likes best to stay and which will be the ones that will have to leave (donate to the poor).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound cruel, but it's a fact. We pay for our space today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It works pretty well here, and this helps her to make choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7244" LastEditorUserId="3497" LastEditDate="2014-11-11T12:18:34.783" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T12:18:34.783" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12757" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12758" CreationDate="2014-05-29T16:15:26.453" Score="19" ViewCount="9217" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Problem Space:&lt;/strong&gt; My mother holds an extremely polarized political view that I do not agree with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My Specific Issue:&lt;/strong&gt; My mother has recently gotten to the point where she &lt;em&gt;literally&lt;/em&gt; personally blames Obama for everything. e.g. My sister works as a paralegal for the state, and she mentioned a recent influx of some 2,000+ cases to review, and had to spend 15 minutes to convince my mother that it wasn't Obama's fault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Question:&lt;/strong&gt; I do not wish my daughter to be subjected to such blatantly polarized political views throughout her upbringing. We visit pretty often (they live about 3 - 3.5 hours away), and often stay with my family. However, my mother always finds it necessary to bring up controversial issues or make blatantly incorrect claims at inappropriate times. My daughter is my mother's first (and only) granddaughter, and she very much loves our visits, as she can spend a few hours with my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do I deal with my mother's extreme political views and their effect on my daughter?&lt;/strong&gt; I don't want my this exposure to lead my daughter to believing that this is an acceptable mindset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking with my mother does not yield useful results, as it ends up with her making more outrageous claims, or blanket threats to all members of specific other religions. At that point, I just walk away from the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing I can really hold over her to silence her is the threat of not visiting, and I'd REALLY hate to pull visitation like that (though it would save me a pretty penny on gas).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 1&lt;/strong&gt;: My daughter is currently 1, but the issue will become increasingly critical as she continues to grow and develop&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 2&lt;/strong&gt;: Updated the &quot;Problem Space: and &quot;Question&quot; sections to be more general. Details in the &quot;Specific Issue&quot; section remain, as they're directly relevant to my personal issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 3&lt;/strong&gt;: Okay, so this has managed to draw a lot of attention and controversy, and some of the self-edited and suggested edits have prevented me from making the core of the issue clear:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not the least bit concerned about shielding my daughter from politics, or even extreme views (it's always good to at least &lt;strong&gt;attempt&lt;/strong&gt; to understand why someone believes what they do). When she's old enough to understand that different people have different views on things, I hope she'll be able to reason and make her own decisions, or at least ask me questions about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue is that my daughter is (or will be) extremely impressionable, and is beginning to mimic sounds that she hears, even now. Given that my 2.5-year-old nephew learned how to exclaim &quot;Oh fuck!&quot; when something fell off of the table within 3 hours of spending time with his other uncle, I know just how quickly kids can parrot undesirable sentiments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a similar issue to swearing around kids, except blindly repeating swear words doesn't carry the same ideological implications as blindly repeating politically-charged, anti-religion, or racially denigrating sentiments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7649" LastEditorUserId="7649" LastEditDate="2014-05-30T13:42:26.487" LastActivityDate="2016-07-07T19:37:16.090" Title="How to deal with parent's (grandparent's) extreme political views?" Tags="|parents|politics|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-05-29T16:42:35.453" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't say how old your daughter is, so this depends somewhat on age.  I'll assume she's at least 8 or 9 years old; younger than that it seems unlikely for this to matter too much (as she won't have enough understanding of politics to care about her grandmother's views).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, this is a great opportunity to teach your daughter about opposing viewpoints, and about keeping an open mind.  It's also a good opportunity to show how otherwise good people can sometimes be wrong - particularly if she's on the younger end of this age range, it can often be a big thing to learn that Respected Adults are not always right (except when it comes to toys or dessert or bedtime, anyway) - and learning this, plus learning that it doesn't take away from the respect due nor does it make them Bad People, is helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially on the older end of the spectrum, Debate is a very useful skill to acquire, and it's what helps with this the most.  Being able to argue any topic from any side - including a topic you vehemently disagree with - is not only helpful in teaching public speaking and how to convince people of things, it's also extremely helpful in teaching someone to understand all sides of an issue and come to intelligent conclusions on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you don't want her debating with grandma, as it sounds like that wouldn't end well; but you could use these topics as conversation starters for debates between you and her.  You could alternate sides, so half the time you were arguing on behalf of Fox News and half the time you were arguing against.  In both cases, take it very seriously - when you're arguing for the Fox News side, do so to the best of your ability, and not sarcastically, and expect her to do the same.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is something very, very hard to learn - imagine asking a devout Christian mother who is as pro-life as you get to argue for legalizing abortion, for example.  As such it will probably take a long time for her to learn it - and it might take you some time as well to be comfortable (if you're not already skilled at this).  But it's worth it, given the value it brings both to logical reasoning and to personal development.  And at the end of the day, your daughter will hopefully learn enough to develop her own mindset rather than parroting anyone else's.  It's not just your mother - when she goes to college there will be plenty of similar opportunities to be brainwashed in many different directions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T16:42:35.453" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-05-29T17:59:02.467" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The solution consists of several parts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First of all, you do not need to guard your daughter from extreme political &lt;strong&gt;Views&lt;/strong&gt;. Views are not facts. They are opinions. Moreover, preventing her from being able to know that there are diversity of views is more likely to turn her into one of those hyper-polarized political people who &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/07/tea-party-zombies-must-die-video-game_n_951896.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wish people death just for being a conservative&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain to your daughter that everyone has opinions. Some are more backed up by facts than others. Some are more popular than others. Give examples of opposing opinions (not necessarily political). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that she is not required to believe any specific person's opinions, even her Grandmother (or, to balance the political concern, her public school teachers who will teach her that Obama is the greatest and Romney sucks - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eugene-volokh/school-children-singing-t_b_300126.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;example from HuffPost to avoid right wing sources :)&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/politics/Romney-High-School-T-Shirt-Flap-172627871.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Another Example with Romney&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/03/teacher-reportedly-takes-political-position-in-assigning-homework/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Another example&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/school-serves-cookies-made-in-obamas-likeness.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;And another&lt;/a&gt;). Or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A8427-2005Mar28.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;college professors&lt;/a&gt;. My own kids' kindergarten teacher gave them (at age 5) a lecture on how Government is Great and Does Everything for Us.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain the difference between respecting a person and respecting their opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Second, explain that FACTS rule. If someone has an opinion, her first duty is to verify if the opinion is backed up by facts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone says that 2000+ cases are the fault of Obama, do you have clear proof that they are not? Show her the proof. BAM. The person stating the opinion lost more than if they not spoke at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, conversely, if you don't have any proof that they are NOT the fault of Obama, you should refrain from phrasing an opinion that they are not (or at least pushing that opinion as more valid than that of her grandmother). Explain that the correct answer is &quot;We don't know because there's no evidence either way&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use the political points as excellent jumping point for education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grandma says &quot;Obama is Socialist&quot;? Fine, explain to her exactly what socialism is, what communism and capitalism is. Explain WHY some people consider Obama Socialist (poor definition knowledge? Very close familiarity with Socialism AND with Obamas lifelong views? Imprecise wording/sloppy labeling? Effective political tactics?)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Apply the same to her Grandmother. Make it a rule - don't propose a political opinion without either honestly admitting it's an opinion OR backing it up with facts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-05-29T19:37:09.003" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T19:37:09.003" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-05-29T18:06:19.600" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your end goal is to have your mother NOT discuss these issues around your daughter, I'd suggest using a one-two approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Redirect the conversation. &quot;Gee, Mom, what did you think about the meatloaf we had at that restaurant? Wasn't it delicious?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leave.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have the time, go through the threads at the HiveMind (&lt;a href=&quot;http://ask.metafilter.com&quot;&gt;ask.metafilter.com&lt;/a&gt;) about dealing with toxic relatives.  You can't change their minds (usually), but you can help them moderate their behavior.  If you've tried redirecting the conversation, and it's not helping, just say, &quot;Mom, we're going to have to leave now.&quot;  You can TRY telling her why, but likely it will just devolve into another discussion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I have family very much like this, and the only thing that helps is leaving as soon as the offense begins.  I do not wish my children to be around to hear some of the nasty, bigoted things that come out of my loved one's mouths.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T18:06:19.600" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12754" CreationDate="2014-05-29T19:37:31.303" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;you're in charge of allowing or not your kid to play with that present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;accept it and say thanks, then at home, talk to your kid about why you don't think it's a good idea for him/her to play with that toy and say you're gonna save it for when he/she is old enough to play with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;end of story :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7244" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T19:37:31.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12727" CreationDate="2014-05-29T19:40:56.017" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5-yr old kid that does exactly the same (including that part that he ignores your question).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Completely normal for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you don't have to worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7244" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T19:40:56.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12690" CreationDate="2014-05-29T20:40:21.827" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone who was diagnosed at age 2, and has lived with a lazy eye her whole life, (my parents couldn't afford the treatment,) I implore you to take your son to see an optometrist. The earlier it is detected, the easier it is to treat. The doctor will be able to advise you on the best course of action and time frame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T20:40:21.827" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12278" CreationDate="2014-05-29T21:19:16.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When looking at Montessori schools, check to see if they're certified by &lt;a href=&quot;http://amshq.org/School-Resources/Find-a-School&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the American Montessori Society&lt;/a&gt;. (The website also has other useful information.)  Any school that deals in preschool-age students can call itself a Montessori, whether it has anything to do with that philosophy or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether your child would be better off in a Montessori depends on the school and on your child. My biggest suggestion would be to visit the school(s). You'll get a gut feeling. As an example, I was enthusiastic about enrolling my daughter in the nearby Waldorf school - until I visited. It just was NOT a good match. However, a nearby Montessori school seemed like a perfect environment!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last, I'll add that I have many friends who attended Montessori schools, and they all rave about the experience. I've yet to hear one negative thing from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T21:19:16.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12091" CreationDate="2014-05-29T21:23:12.657" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first steps when my (very emotional) three year old is crying - try to get to their level/make eye contact, and ask her to take a deep breath. It doesn't immediately stop the crying, but it does seem to help her calm down enough that I can try and ask what is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T21:23:12.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10813" CreationDate="2014-05-29T21:32:18.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This occasionally happens to us as well. Most of the time, our daughter (3yrs) sleeps just fine in the car, but sometimes she wakes up crying/screaming. The culprit most of the times seems to be that she can't get comfortable or she's hot, (car seats are not known for their air flow.) In our case, we try to hold her hand to comfort her, and talk in a soothing tone. During the most recent crying jag, I had to get in the backseat with her and she played with my ear, (her soothing mechanism,) the rest of the way home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that the child in question is three, you might want to check to see if he's ready for a booster seat. (I think 40lbs and 40inches tall is the recommendation.) If he's still in a regular car seat then he might have problems getting/staying comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we put a small pillow in our car for when our daughter falls asleep - it helps keep her head from lolling around too much and possibly waking her up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T21:32:18.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9133" CreationDate="2014-05-29T21:40:45.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this will not be a popular option, but when we go to my daughter's favorite place we allow her to use &quot;her phone&quot; (aka my old phone) that has age-appropriate games and videos on it IF she behaves and AFTER she finishes her meal, (and while her parents play Buzztime trivia.) For those rare times she does begin to misbehave - usually because it is too crowded or too loud - we tell her that if she can't behave properly we won't be coming back. We also try not to stay as long during these times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of those things I said I would NEVER do before I was a mom. I've found that you learn to adjust those expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T21:40:45.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12641" CreationDate="2014-05-29T22:46:32.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It shouldn't be necessary. To encourage babies to reach, you move or wiggle the object you want them to reach for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 11 weeks old, they may not want to reach at all, and just watching bright colours and shapes is ample stimulation, but you could try bringing objects really close, even touching the baby's cheek and see how they respond - either trying to grab, or turning the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies tend to get to all these sort of things when they get to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T22:46:32.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-05-29T23:29:17.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question poses a common predicament - what to do with upsetting adult behavior around your child. What are your rights and responsibilities as a parent in this specific situation and future similar interactions with extended family members? How will you respond to issues of boundaries with your parents (and other adults) when it comes to your children? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All sorts of family dynamics come in to play! If you usually try to avoid conflict, and always let your parents make the decisions, this may be a more difficult problem to resolve. On the other hand, if you are fairly assertive and used to standing on your own two feet, then things become easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having been on both sides of this parent/grandparent fence, I have some experience to bring to the subject. The boundary has to be set by you, the parent. Whether the difficulty is confrontational political or religious views, foul language, ugly gossip, loud arguments...it doesn't matter. You are there to have a nice family visit and enjoy yourselves, not subject your young children to an unpleasant situation. Making your point in a humorous way, suggesting a more pleasurable activity that everyone can get involved in or, as a last resort, simply leaving the house if your boundaries for your children are not respected, in any event, it is up to you to set the tone. and no time like the present while your child is still young! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With an older child, it's important to have a conversation later about Grandma or Grandpa's behavior or views. While we love them, we don't always agree about everything and explain why, answering any questions the child may have. People can, and do, disagree about many things. That's okay, as long as it does not cross the line - and it's up to you to draw that line where your children are concerned.                             &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7850" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T23:29:17.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-05-29T23:49:15.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since your daughter is only 1, I don't think this is much of a problem for her at this time. My actual concern is with your mother. I get the impression from your post that her political views have recently become more extreme than they were in the past, with a heavy focus on assigning blame. None of this is healthy. It sounds as if your mother is actually quite unhappy and is projecting her unhappiness upon the state of the Union. When you think about it, it's odd that politics even arises during the visit of your one-year old. Why aren't you talking about the baby? That's what normal grandmothers do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So maybe the conversation that needs to take place is about what's going on with her at the moment. Perhaps she needs to see a therapist, or simply get out more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7851" LastActivityDate="2014-05-29T23:49:15.583" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-05-30T02:50:08.967" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question ought not be be about politics or religion or... well anything else specific.  The question is fundamentally about views which are either 1) different than yours or 2) expressed in a manner which you, as the parent, find inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent I live by a one-goal rule: To teach my child to think for herself and be the best &quot;her&quot; she can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not religious (any order, sect, belief, etc.)  One day, however, she asked me if I would be mad if she read the Bible.  Not only did I tell her I would not be mad, I called my father, an elder, and arranged for her to receive whatever help she could possibly desire in investigating her interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later on she asked me why I wasn't mad and had grandpa help.  I replied that it is not my place to tell her what she can or cannot learn, nor my place to force my thinking upon her.  She is 14 now and I am not sure that she understands those words as they are stated, but through consistent parenting, she understands it intuitively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other times she has seen someone vociferously promulgating their point of view and later asked me why I didn't tell them the truth.  I answered that it would have served no useful purpose, but caused an unproductive argument and that such a conversation is not something I choose to engage in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point in sharing my own parenting is multi-fold:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Our first goal as parents ought to be to train our children to be critically-thinking, well-balanced adults.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Leading by example is fundamental.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Allowing (and sometimes even facilitating) a growth in knowledge is very important.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Our children will not always agree with us.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At some point every person is exposed to an inappropriate means of expressing a view -- knowing how to handle it appropriately is fundamental.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, there are techniques for turning your mother's expression into something you can use to promote another view -- they are unethical in my view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you can hide that expression by denying &quot;visitation&quot;, but it serves no useful purpose while simultaneously denying educational opportunities -- one day she will either agree, disagree, or a mix of agree/disagree with your mother, but perhaps the lesson learned will be to express herself without vitriole... and a lesson I have learned from the &lt;strong&gt;honor&lt;/strong&gt; of being able to meet and speak with &lt;strong&gt;2 of my great grandmothers&lt;/strong&gt; (I miss them!) is that there is so much we can learn from those who have come before us -- don't deny your child those learning opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nor is it necessary to fully explain your own views or counterarguments (during or after visits).  In time, she will ask.  Then, you, as the liker of debates, can proffer both points of view &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; encourage her to research on her own so that she can make up her own mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final thought, my music history professor in college asked us to learn only one thing from his class: We are all snobs. Whether it's politics, religion, music, or anything else, we are all to varying degree snobs about our preferences and perceive the alternative views as extreme, but they see us the same way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T02:50:08.967" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-05-30T03:03:21.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you continue to teach your daughter about the world, explaining and demonstrating good behaviour (such as humility, open-mindedness and healthy scepticism), she will be very well equipped to &lt;strong&gt;decide for herself&lt;/strong&gt; that her grandmother's blaming is nonsense. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will actually be &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; effective than anything you can do to try and directly control this situation (and has the added bonus of helping her deal with every other situation in her life).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(So don't worry too much about it. A child who is taught to think for themselves is less vulnerable to this sort of thing than you might think).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6487" LastEditorUserId="6487" LastEditDate="2014-06-02T06:27:55.557" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T06:27:55.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12774" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12810" CreationDate="2014-05-30T05:39:35.257" Score="8" ViewCount="706" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1685/604&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; on Parenting.SE, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bed-wetting/basics/definition/con-20015089&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic says that&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Generally, bed-wetting before age 6 or 7 isn't cause for concern&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What is the age when it should become a concern enough that it NEEDS to be brought up with the child's pediatrician?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is only about &lt;strong&gt;health&lt;/strong&gt; concern - assume that bedwetting itself isn't an undue problem for either the parent or the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, assume that the obvious approaches to bedwetting are already followed (no drinking right before sleep, pee right before sleep, no high-sodium/high-sugar dinner intake).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I prefer answers based on research or in-depth expert medical info, not opinions of the form &quot;well, I or my child betwetted till age X and was fine&quot;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2017-03-06T21:52:37.760" Title="What is an age when bedwetting should be referred to the doctor?" Tags="|health|development|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12723" CreationDate="2014-05-30T06:33:32.523" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you let them eat when they are hungry rather than just at the times most&#xA;people eat. After I started doing this, I rarely get indigestion. YMMV. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could establish &quot;conventional&quot; meal timings starting on any chosen weekend by giving your kids a super small meal before a major meal at a chosen time. Hopefully, they will be hungry then. IMHO, its good to have a regular rythm - meal time, sleep time, bowel time etc. I have sometimes experienced a bit of acid reflux when I sleep on full stomach. So, I keep a big gap between my meals and sleeptime (day/night) to avoid that. I also suggest that you make moderate exercise a regular part of your kid's routine because it can help your appetite and make you healthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorUserId="7078" LastEditDate="2014-05-30T06:38:57.690" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T06:38:57.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12751" CreationDate="2014-05-30T11:58:33.930" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes. Bilingualism acts as insurance policy against dementia. People who are bilingual get dementia and alzheimers less often/later  than monolinguals. As a related side note, is that in rare cases people get brain damage that spares their second language but not their first. Brain damage of that sort does happen often enough to warrant the effort. (Dementia on the other hand is depressingly common). There is a New York Times article somewhere about this benefit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the second language you choose is ASL (or what ever the sign language is in your country) you get two benefits: you can communicate with your child a whole year before they can say anything verbally. Also about 1% of people are deaf (more accurately, on a continuum of deafness) A good chunk of those are older people, who are late life deaf. And they don't know ASL. To learn ASL late in life is like learning Chinese late in life. So often these people find it easier to just be cut off from communication and resort to less efficient forms of communication, like writing everything down.  I did the baby ASL thing with my son and plan to keep it up-- it helps that I happen to live close to one of the larger deaf communities in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It occurs to me you've already assumed that all languages are economically useless, which doesn't hold-- people who actually know certain languages (and need them for their job) get paid a premium for it. It's really hard to predict what language will be profitable 18 years in advance before you kid has chosen a career. It's less of insurance and more of a lotto ticket-- Japanese, for example, pays off if you are lucky enough to work in Engineering and need to travel to Japan (which my niece does, so this isn't like unheard of)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for other benefits of languages that you don't speak, you might want to google the various reasons people of come up with to study Latin, Biblical Greek, Esperanto (people speak it, but usually not in your community), or Klingon.  Many of these reasons are particular and whimsical and would depend on your family circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T11:58:33.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12777" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12782" CreationDate="2014-05-30T14:03:48.737" Score="6" ViewCount="1416" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever we put our 12 week old on her tummy, she yelps and generally sounds uncomfortable. She looks a bit like an upturned tortoise. How can we make this more enjoyable for her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T20:59:33.877" Title="How do you do tummy time?" Tags="|newborn|development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12777" CreationDate="2014-05-30T14:12:57.050" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our case, what helped was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reassure her and calm her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure she can see your face or at least your hand all the time. Hear you encouraging her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of the problem might be that it's simply a startling new experience for her; OR that she's stressed over less visual contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also in terms of startling, make sure to put her on her tummy gently and not abruptly. Kinda obvious but I &lt;em&gt;HAVE&lt;/em&gt; seen it done like a child was a sack of flour.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Distract her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play her favorite music. Dangle her most favorite toys in front of her and let her play with them. Talk and/or sing to her.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Show her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her observe YOU having tummy time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, I think this idea is more quackery than useful. I don't think 12 weeks is old enough to benefit by making that connection, but it can't hurt. Worst case scenario, you get to relax on your tummy for a couple of minutes and play Edison by rejecting one more failed approach :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="3700" LastEditDate="2014-05-30T20:59:33.877" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T20:59:33.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12779" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12788" CreationDate="2014-05-30T14:14:17.820" Score="2" ViewCount="2394" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ever since we announced we were going to have a second and it came out it was going to be a boy, I was relentlessly told that &quot;boys are fussier than girls&quot; when they are a baby. I wasn't inclined to believe such nonsense. It was all anecdotal evidence seasoned with the classic &quot;everyone knows that...&quot; &lt;em&gt;argumentum ad populum&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our boy was born and he is definitely more fussy than our daughter was. At the same time, he is also less colicky than she was. They were/are both healthy babies, growing normally, getting fed, clothed, and changed but it seems like, while she was able to be alone by herself for periods of time while we finished up the dishes or hung the laundry, he cannot stand being putting down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping in mind that fussy, in this instance, is clearly defined as &quot;fastidious about one's needs&quot; and &quot;hard to please&quot; do studies exist that investigate the idea that boys tend to require more attention from a parent while girls require less? If they do, what was the conclusion of that study?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-05-31T01:42:30.623" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T02:25:28.737" Title="Are boys fussier than girls?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12780" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-05-30T15:00:53.577" Score="32" ViewCount="104295" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's best/better for the child in the long/short run - to have no father in his life or to have a &quot;no-good&quot; father in his life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And by &quot;no-good&quot; I mean - mentally and financially unstable, irresponsible, irrational and alcoholic (in my opinion - not professionally diagnosed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading the answer to &lt;em&gt;post &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/10449&quot;&gt;Sharing parenting/custody duties with an ex-partner&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, I can honestly answer NO to all those questions. BUT - this is my opinion. And I am sure my ex doesn't think of himself that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am struggling with the concept of my son having a right to have a relationship with his father no matter what kind of a father he is and no matter how damaging I think it might be for my son in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping my son safe and making sure he is growing up well-balanced, physically, emotionally and mentally healthy child, in a safe and stable environment - which would mean keeping him away from my ex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can I tell my son (if his father doesn't seek visitation until then) - that when he reaches 18 years old he can seek out his father and get to know him and have whatever kind of relationship he wants with him. But until then try to fight his request for visitation (if it ever happens)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is 4 years old now and doesn't have visitation with his dad now. He saw him last when he was 2.5 years old. His dad had supervised visitation when my son was 1.5, but only came once and withdrew his court petition for visitation since then. Also I have a restraining order against him because he has zero respect for me and my boundaries and has been harassing me for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I have to add that I do not talk badly about my ex to my son. My son has a right to make up his own mind about the kind of person his father is and my opinions about my ex - have nothing to do with my son's opinions about his dad and I keep those separate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, my son is starting to ask about his dad now - things like: where is he, and can we go visit him and why isn't he here. And sometimes he says things like &quot;my father doesn't want/love me&quot;. And it is heart breaking for me to hear him say things like that. So I reply with &quot;Your father loves you. Of course he wants you. And he just lives far away and is working and cannot visit&quot;. Which is partly true. I don't want to lie to my son, but I also don't want him to think that he isn't loved or wanted. And I know that my son will always be curious about his dad, and that the response I have will soon get &quot;old&quot;, and I would need to come up with a better response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another addition:&#xA;The reason this is a struggle for me is because I realize that I am not a perfect parent. That I make mistakes and that in some way I am sure some things I do - will have long term and possibly damaging effect on my son. I hope not - and I try my hardest not to make those mistakes but - I am not perfect and I can only do my best while striving towards a goal of raising a happy and healthy and stable, responsible, compassionate, etc. child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So - how can I tell if not having a father at all is better than having an unstable father in my son's life? Even if he (the ex) does things that are potentially long-term damaging - isn't the benefit of having a father still outweighs it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7857" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T06:36:43.280" Title="For the benefit of the child: what's better - no father or bad father?" Tags="|parents|single-parent|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12749" CreationDate="2014-05-30T15:26:05.180" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Create a consistent bedtime routine that will help them fall asleep. Elements of a bedtime routine might include bathing (if it calms them), changing into jammies, bedtime snack, reading stories together, listening to music (preferably calm age appropriate music at a quiet volume), turning a fan or white noise on, turning the lights down or off, being tucked into bed, holding a favorite stuffed animal, hugs and kisses, etc. Some kids adapt well to here's the new routine and just being consistent with it is enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or if you'd prefer a more gradual transition, first work on not falling asleep still nursing. Once she is past the point of drinking to quench hunger or thirst and is just comfort sucking, and is &quot;drowsy but awake&quot;, unlatch her, and continue to hold her and rock her to sleep, or lay with her while she falls asleep. After she gets comfortable with that, try rearranging the routine--we'll have our milk first and then stories and then lay down and go to sleep. Later you can decrease the time to nurse for--after five (and then three and then one) minutes if you're still hungry you can have a bottle of warm cow's milk to drink. You may wish to introduce brushing teeth as a bedtime routine element between the milk and stories or being tucked in as well. Eventually, talk up how instead of having mommy's milk we are just going to have the other milk at bedtime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it's not bad at all should you decide you are comfortable with your current routine and wish to continue nursing. Keep at it as long as it is mutually agreeable. (eg: if you got pregnant and it was painful to nurse, or your milk dries up, you might be less agreeable to the current routine). Eventually, the kid will outgrow wanting to nurse at all. Anecdotally, those I know who have chosen to do a child-led weaning typically found sometime between 3-5 years old their child chose to wean on their own, though occasionally younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T15:26:05.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12777" CreationDate="2014-05-30T15:30:39.827" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might sound harsh, but there's not much you can do to make it enjoyable; if you're on your belly and aren't strong enough to raise your head up yet, tummy time is not going to be fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you can limit the upset for your child by not putting her through an excessive amount - little and often is better than fewer long stints. (Advice on how long it should be varies - we had healthcare professionals telling us a newborn (at 1-2 weeks) should be doing 5 minutes at a time, and others telling us this was a ridiculous amount of time for a child.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long term, you want to put up with a certain amount of noise and discomfort, because your child needs to use her neck muscles to develop strength in them. Keep it consistent - try and do it at similar times in her daily routine, and prioritise lots of short bursts rather than longer ones. We'd put her on her back as soon as she'd managed to move from looking to the left to the right, and tell her how well she was doing, but beyond that and being present, there isn't much else to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T15:30:39.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12777" CreationDate="2014-05-30T16:20:36.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tummy time is complicated at that age, but it's definitely necessary.  Don't expect anything to work perfectly, but also don't do it past the point of her being frustrated; helping her enjoy it is critical to getting longer periods in later.  At 12 weeks you likely can only do a short bit at a time (10-15 minutes at most, I'd expect more like 3-5 minutes usually).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most useful things is a tummy time mat with interesting things on it.  The two we used for our two little ones had various parts that had crinkly bits, mirrors, textures, etc., on different parts, was fairly cushy, and had a mobile like part above it.   This helped our children get used to the mat on their backs, so when we flipped them over they weren't too upset.  One I got for my nephew had a piano part, where if he hit it with his hand or foot it made music - this was a huge hit.  Basically anything that gets a visual, aural, tactile response will be helpful here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lots of stimulation by you is also helpful.  Make tummy time one of the times you have a lot of mommy or daddy and baby interactions.  Don't expect tummy time to be a put baby down and do the dishes time - talk to baby, stroke and touch baby, tickle baby, etc.  The more positive stimulation, the better, as baby will then be more interested in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a few weeks or a month, maybe around 4-5 months, you can start putting toys around baby.  Probably at 3 months this won't yet really be helpful, but you can try now if you want (particularly if baby has very strong neck control).  Don't put them out of reach, but at the edge of reach; out of reach is for 6-8 months when crawling begins to be possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Change baby's position often at first.  Don't just have tummy time.  Have a minute of tummy time, then sit baby up (probably this will be assisted sitting at this age), then hold baby on your lap.  Change those positions more frequently than baby gets annoyed about any one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of all, don't give up.  Tummy time is important, and it may be one of the first times you will have to really work on something that doesn't work at first.  Stick to it; it's worth it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T16:20:36.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12677" CreationDate="2014-05-30T16:46:38.447" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really feel your pain and I think I understand the situation that you're in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't despair - you will find a way to make it work - where you can balance your need for independence and respect and still have a relationship with your parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I lived in Russia until I was 16 and in US since then.&#xA;I have went through something similar with my mom and my grandmother - both &quot;old school&quot; traditional Russian-born-and-raised people.&#xA;I think this issue is cultural.&#xA;Here in the States a lot of people (parents and children) believe that a child is an independent person from his/her parents and that his/her parents don't &quot;own&quot; the child, don't &quot;owe&quot; anything to the child and that the child doesn't &quot;owe&quot; anything to the parents for raising him/her. This is very simplified view. There is more to it that what I said - but it illustrates a point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Russia (and other countries) parents/children relationship is different.&#xA;In my experience - I was raised to &quot;always listen to my parents/grandparents/elders&quot; because they were older and more experienced and thus &quot;were always right&quot; and because if you didn't listen to them/didn't do what they wanted you to do - it meant that you are disrespecting them and not being a good/obedient son/daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had to work really hard to establish and enforce my boundaries with my family.&#xA;I haven't even known what &quot;boundaries&quot; were until a few years ago. I don't think such a concept even exists in Russia/ex-Soviet counties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a book a read, but it is somewhat Christian and I am not a Christian. So, I am sure you can find similar books on this subject that are not Christian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0310247454&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1401468038&amp;amp;sr=8-1&amp;amp;keywords=boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But - the gist of this concept is this - no one can make you feel a certain way or do something. Not your parents, friends, etc. You are in control of your thoughts, feelings, behavior, etc. Once you identify a boundary that you want to set with others - that others are not respecting - there are certain things you can do to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But - it is important to keep in mind that your parents may continue to refuse to respect your boundaries - because they don't want to or because they don't understand or whatever other reason they may have - and that is their right and choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think in some respects - it might be easier for you to enforce your boundaries while living separately - but understand that your parents love you and care about you in their own, unique cultural way, and that it will be a hard road to setup a balanced relationship with them in terms of them respecting your wishes and boundaries, but that it is something that is absolutely worth doing - for yourself, for your own peace of mind, for your own mental and physical health. And it is a good practice for the future - when and if you decide to get married and would need to contend with your husband's and his family's wishes and boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7857" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T16:46:38.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12677" CreationDate="2014-05-30T17:02:00.183" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how at 21 your parents are &quot;not letting you&quot; live in your own apartment. You are past the age required to enter into contracts on your own volition. If you are employed and have a steady income, it should not be difficult to sign a lease to rent an apartment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, it sounds like your parents are opposed to the idea, and it is quite possible that it could cause a rift in your relationship with your parents should you choose to go against their wishes. Those consequences are something you have to weigh yourself. Some parents would be upset for a little while and then forgiving once they see responsibility demonstrated, others might disown their kids and refuse to ever talk to them again or write them out of the will or the like. I don't know your parents, you do. You have choices, but you are the one who will have to deal with the consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, you may in some ways be currently dealing with the consequences of your previous bad decisions. You may have lost some of the trust of your parents. They may be questioning your judgment, whether you are likely to make additional bad choices, and so on. Trust is earned, not given. You may have to work to regain their trust, if that is important to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it is often true that it is hard for parents to come to accept that their children have grown to become adults, you may also wish to reflect upon whether your behavior contributes significantly to their perspective of you as a child vs an adult. One thing that jumps out in your post is the title of your post. It sounds a lot like the typical teenage refrain &quot;My parents are ruining my life&quot;, often accompanied by teenage temper tantrums with slamming doors, yelling at parents or calling them names, saying things you don't mean like &quot;I hate you mom&quot; and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you get older you start to appreciate that even if you don't agree in every way with your parents, they have many years of wisdom and experience and, no matter how misguided their efforts may (or may not) be, it sounds like they are really trying to look out for your well-being, not trying to harm you or destroy your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like they are trying, as best they know how, to express their loving concern and try to make sure you're headed in the right direction. I'm sure they've been around long enough to have plenty of life experience and know how the saying goes &quot;bad company corrupts good character&quot; and they're probably trying to look out for what they see as your best interest. They want to make sure you're keeping good company and not surrounding yourself with situations that are going to bring you misery or financial ruin or the like. Perhaps they are being a little over-protective in doing so, but keep in mind, it's not out of an intention to interfere with or ruin your life, it is out of their desire to help guide you to make better choices so you won't suffer the consequences poor choices might lead to. Perhaps you desire a lifestyle they don't approve of - but only through mature adult conversation can you really understand their concerns and why they do or don't want for you the things you desire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may need to step back and let some of the strong emotions about the situation cool off before discussing it further with your parents or making any decisions you might later regret. Think through your thoughts and your choices, and get things clear in your head. Erase the attitude that they're out to get you - if they were, they probably wouldn't have taken you, as an adult, back in their home and been willing to support you and feed you while you transitioned back to your home country, they would have instead said, &quot;good luck, let us know where you'll be living, hope you find a job soon and don't end up on the streets!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can choose to try to understand their perspective and concerns and how they compare to yours. You can then try to convince them their concerns are un-warranted or that you're responsible and they don't need to micromanage your friendships. Or you can ignore their advice and concern and forge your own way, for better or worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-19T15:10:08.097" LastActivityDate="2019-04-19T15:10:08.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12780" CreationDate="2014-05-30T17:24:27.470" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I won't answer everything (short version - I think you're doing the right thing on most levels).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do NOT badmouth the ex in front of the son. You made a very wise choice!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For one thing, it won't really help you long term. Second, it may cause damage to his own self-image as a man long term. For another, if you ever meet a man you want to be involved with romantically, he will find it one less worry about you (&quot;if she badmouths her ex to her son, what if we have a child together and divorce, I'd get the same treatment&quot;). Third, your son when he grows up will appreciate that you let him come up with his own conclusions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't let the ex near if he's truly a bad juju. Drugs, alcohol abuse, threats of violence. If you filed a restraining order for valid reasons, they are even more important reasons when it comes to your child's safety.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make it clear that it's not &lt;em&gt;HIS&lt;/em&gt; fault the father isn't around.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As he grows older, start explaining the real situation. Be honest about &lt;em&gt;WHY&lt;/em&gt; you made up a white lie earlier (&quot;it is hard to explain to 3 year old what a drug addict is&quot;) and apologize for any white lies.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But 3 suggestion I would make would be to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put a high priority on finding a good father figure for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does &lt;strong&gt;NOT&lt;/strong&gt; need to be your romantic partner. It can be a male family member (your side, or in some rare cases even your ex's side if he's the weird one of the family). It can be a male friend. It can be a father of your kid's playmates. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's one thing that godfathers used to be for, but that doesn't seem to be a popular institution anymore these days.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ensure the ex pays child support. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find a parenting &quot;buddy&quot;. Ideally male, it doesn't much matter (full disclosure: idea stolen from my work's parent support group), but someone who is a parent, single or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would be simply someone to listen to you. Hear out your rants. Serve as sounding board. Someone who you can tell your frustrations without bottling them up. Someone to offer advice as an outsider after hearing you out. Someone to validate the calls you make that you aren't sure about. Opposite gender works better since they will provide a different perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-06-05T13:28:03.117" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T13:28:03.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12712" CreationDate="2014-05-30T18:12:18.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would occasionally microwave a bit of formula, especially to take the chill off if we had placed an unused portion in the fridge.  (Yes, I will admit that publically... especially since I don't think my wife is on this forum... but I digress.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One accommodation I made was this: I placed the bottle in a larger container, like a Pyrex measuring cup.  I filled the cup with water a bit higher than the level of formula in the bottle.  Then I microwaved the bottle in the surrounding water.  I figured this would act to moderate the rate of increase in temperature, and help even out the &quot;hot spots&quot; (if any).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Upon removing from the microwave, I would test the water in the cup (with my fingers) for its temperature.  If IT was not too hot, I figure there was a good chance the formula was not, either. I would then &quot;swish&quot; the bottle (as the OP mentions) and test it for temperature, too, by squirting on the wrist, or -- more reliably -- just tasting it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7860" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T18:12:18.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12779" CreationDate="2014-05-30T20:02:10.483" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Shergill-Bonner, R (2010). &quot;Infantile colic: practicalities of management, including dietary aspects.&quot;. The journal of family health care 20 (6): 206–9. PMID 21319674:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Colic... occurring at the same rate in boys and in girls (cite via Wikipedia)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/home-living/homebase/do-young-boys-cry-more-than-young-girls&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Another one&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;According to a 2010 study by Miranda A. L. Van Tilburg, Marielle L. Unterberg, and Ad J. J. M. Vingerhoets, published in the British Journal of Developmental Psychology, no difference in terms of crying frequency can be noted among babies and young children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-05-30T20:34:05.300" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T20:34:05.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12755" CreationDate="2014-05-30T20:51:29.903" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's perfectly normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally, both my kids liked to play baby (and parent + baby when together :) well into kindergarten/preschool era. Here are more evidence: &lt;a href=&quot;http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/preschoolaged/pretendingbaby.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;{1}&lt;/a&gt;; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mamapedia.com/article/annoying-baby-talk-from-my-toddler&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;{2}&lt;/a&gt; or even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1203878-8-yr-old-dd-talking-in-baby-voice-driving-me-mad-any-advice/AllOnOnePage&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;10YO&lt;/a&gt; (or continues &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askamanager.org/2013/05/how-to-get-an-employee-to-stop-using-baby-talk-in-the-office.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;into adulthood&lt;/a&gt; :) Or the whole &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=preschooler%20play%20baby&amp;amp;ie=utf-8&amp;amp;oe=utf-8&amp;amp;aq=t&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla%3aen-US%3aofficial&amp;amp;client=firefox-a&amp;amp;channel=fflb#channel=fflb&amp;amp;q=preschooler%20%22talk%20like%20a%20baby%22&amp;amp;rls=org.mozilla%3aen-US%3aofficial&amp;amp;safe=off&amp;amp;start=10&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;gazillion Google links&lt;/a&gt; :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to manage this, my best advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Balance. Promise to play along with her &quot;baby&quot; stuff for every 4 hrs she does things like a more grown up child&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Offer to trade (you baby she adult) sometimes. It's MORE fun to playact to be a parent for many kids.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If it's too much then simply refuse what is being asked in baby talk &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If still persists over the limits set by you, threaten to treat her like a real baby. NO tasty food (chocolate/cookies etc...). Just milk and fruit puree. Bedtime NOW. No TV/games. (and follow up on the threat)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T20:51:29.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12780" CreationDate="2014-05-30T22:53:07.553" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no easy answer to this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No father is no father - there is no degree to which there can be no father. So for the purposes of this answer, I'm proposing that there is absolutely zero contact with any figure that could be considered a father. No adult males living in the same house, no visitation. An uncle or good friend would count, but I'd consider a long-term boyfriend who is seen an average of once a week or earlier to fill the role. So none of those. Note, I am NOT suggesting that you enter that state - by all means seek a reliable father figure (and as many other good role models as you can find!) But for purposes of analysis, that's my definition of no father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, bad father has a wide degree of depth to it. A bad father could be verbally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive. (And probably a few other ____lly abusives that I just forgot about.) In truth, all fathers do &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; kind of damage to their children at some point. Whether it's as simple as losing our temper, being a bad example, or some other trivial and not-very-often occurrence, we all do something at some point that isn't being a perfect father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now let's look at two extreme fathers: If you had a father that was literally perfect in every single way possible, except one time he picked his nose and ate it in front of the kid, maybe we call him 0.000000001% bad. And if you have a father who physically mutilates their child, they're 100% bad. Clearly, the no-father scenario is between these two. It's worse to have no-father than an almost perfect father. But it's better to have no-father than it is to have a tortured child. The no-father scenario is between these two extreme outliers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it appears the real question is, where is the break even point? At what point does a father become bad enough that it would actually be better for the child if he wasn't in the picture? And this is something that is impossible to enumerate. We can identify things that definitely push someone past the bad point. Sexual assault, physical mutilation, trafficking, etc. But once you get the obvious things out of the way, it becomes difficult to remain objective about it. How can you determine whether playing catch in the evenings outweighs being drunk and physically challenging Saturday mornings after a night of partying? There's no real way to quantify those, which means there's no real way to compare. (In case there was any doubt, the idea of X% bad father is not a real measurement, only a conceptual tool in a thought experiment.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So unfortunately, your question is truly (and demonstrably) unanswerable. You can begin to add details, and perhaps a reasoned community can make a consensus based on the facts you give, and it appears some of those facts may indeed put your particular ex-partner in the &quot;obviously past the break-even point&quot; category. But, with the exception of the alcohol (which can be managed) it would appear the major detriments to the arrangement are being directed at you, not at your child. Perhaps we don't have all the facts and your ex-partner does indeed have detrimental behavior directed toward your child, but I don't see specific evidence of that in your post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is certain is that there is not going to be, in any reasonably expected time frame, a way to objectively determine based on a set of facts or a test whether or not there is more benefit than damage to having any particular father figure in your child's life. I agree with DVK's analysis, about what you're currently doing and what steps you can do to improve. But as good advice as it is, it doesn't actually answer whether or not it's better to have no father than a bad father, and it doesn't because you simply can't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you're not supposed to put signatures or closing statements, but I do wish you and your child all the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2014-05-30T22:53:07.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12780" CreationDate="2014-05-31T03:15:39.083" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The reason this is a struggle for me is because I realize that I am not a perfect parent.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FYI: There is no such thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got teary-eyed when I read your post.  For 2 reasons: 1) I was raised in a household where my father was unbelievably violent and abusive, and 2) I, too, have had to balance a hard decision as my daughter's mother is not one who appropriately fills the role of a mother.  I was teary-eyed because as the once-child and now-parent, we want them both!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finding a man (or father figure) and/or getting child support seem enticing, but, though they may be helpful, they do not solve the problem you and your son are facing: &quot;Where's daddy?&quot;  It is truly a heart-breaking question, both to ask and to need to answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to what you have asked, there is what you have not asked: how do I handle the questions a father is meant to answer?  My mother was in that position and (genders flipped, of course), I am also in that position.  It is hard and uncomfortable for both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter came back to me when she was around 4yo and asked me what to do when mommy went into a place all night and she was outside and had to sleep in a bush, wrapped in a plastic bag.  A discussion ensued thanking her for asking, explaining that calling emergency services at 9-1-1 was free, a police report... and a court filing meant her mother would not be able to put her in such a dangerous situation again.  It is such things we all as good parents fear and hope to never experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, first, I would like to say that as you have expressed things, you are doing a &lt;em&gt;superb job&lt;/em&gt; at doing what you can given the situation.  Kudos!  Doing the &quot;right&quot; thing is not always easy in such a situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, to answer your question directly: Your question has a bit of a flaw -- it is not yes/no, but yes/no/partial.  My rephrasing suggests my answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter's mother has many issues in her life, some similar to your son's father.  When she was younger and I was asked, &quot;Where's mommy?  I want to talk to her.  Is she ok?  She doesn't call me. Does she love me?&quot;  I replied (not a white lie b/c in your and my situation it is the truth), &quot;The last time I talked to her, she was not well and needed to get help.  She loves you, but must get better first.  If you want to write her letters and save them, then I will make sure she gets them when she is feeling better.  And, yes, she does love you... even though she can't say it right now.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the questions asked that aren't your field as a female, I can only offer that I seek the advice of my mother for the questions which aren't my field as a male since her mother is not in a space to offer the proper support.  When my mother is hospitalized, I seek the advice of a female doctor.  Is it ideal? No.  But it is what I can do, so I am sharing with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I do not let my daughter live with her mother (I wrote the paperwork and it's solid from a legal perspective); however, like you I want my child to have the best possible relationship with the other parent, so when her mother calls her I do not interfere with the call.  When she was younger (she's now 14), I would have her put the call on speaker phone to ensure the call did not become inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have great, strong, wonderful principles for parenting, so you understand the principle I am espousing: namely, allow interaction where it is safe and appropriate while guiding your son to a balanced view of life and filling his needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-05-31T17:13:47.490" LastActivityDate="2014-05-31T17:13:47.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12793" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12801" CreationDate="2014-05-31T09:53:50.177" Score="5" ViewCount="1987" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are taking our 12 week old daughter to the indoor pool tomorrow. We have:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 disposable swim nappy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A splash about happy nappy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A neoprene baby warmer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Towels, change of clothes etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were just going to test putting her in her gear and hold her in the water. She was born in a birthing pool and likes baths so we think she'll enjoy this, but what else should we do/not do? Should she stay above water? Does she need to be bathed afterwards as it is a standard chlorinated UK public family pool?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastEditorUserId="7304" LastEditDate="2014-06-01T08:09:49.103" LastActivityDate="2014-12-17T18:09:36.280" Title="Taking a 12 week old baby to the swimming pool for the first time" Tags="|newborn|development|water|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8524" CreationDate="2014-05-31T13:40:08.117" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is two, she does the same thing with red and blue. I was concerned for a while. But if you think about the number of arbitrary words your child is picking up, it makes sense that they would confuse some words some of the time. The best way I can think about it is when I am learning students names, if there are two students who are always together  even if they don't look alike, I sometimes can't differentiate between them for a long time because they are always A and B together, but separate I know that they are either A or B but I don't necessarily know which. I always eventually figure it out, but it takes some time. So maybe, when our children were learning their colours they learned red and blue to close together and now have a hard time differentiating between the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7864" LastActivityDate="2014-05-31T13:40:08.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12795" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12855" CreationDate="2014-05-31T13:42:23.917" Score="3" ViewCount="317" Body="&lt;p&gt;Related: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6478/finding-great-books-at-the-right-level&quot;&gt;Finding Great Books at the Right Level&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course various books have generic maturity levels. But all children are different, and so are all books; so general guidelines aren't always useful - I frequently encounter content that children theoretically aren't ready for yet, but greatly enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are good guidelines to evaluate if your child is ready for a specific book's content?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE: I don't care about the factor of being able to read the text - first, my kids reading level is well above their age, second I can read to them if the book is worth it but they struggle with more advanced text.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I already saw &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11350/how-does-one-go-about-determining-if-a-child-adolescent-or-teen-is-capable-of-u?rq=1&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; which seems like a duplicate, but whose answer addresses the opposite problem - is the child ready for the reading level of the book, as opposed to the content; AND doesn't really deal with specific child's capabilities. What I'm looking for is a process I can use to evaluate a specific book in terms of &quot;is it too early to give to this specific child&quot;, not &quot;is there a generic guideline that an average 3rd grader would understand 80% of the book&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T02:24:07.287" Title="How do I determine if my child is ready for a specific book?" Tags="|reading|books|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12793" CreationDate="2014-05-31T18:49:15.400" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say bring some baby sunblocker. Even if you plan on being under an Umbrella. You can get burned even in the shade. Both my sons had alot of fun in the pool with me and their mommy there. They just didn't like it when everyone else was making alot of noise and splashing around.. But yes. for sure bring something for the sun! Also I wouldn't put her in a Saltwater pool. ( some pools around here are saltwater. )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7867" LastActivityDate="2014-05-31T18:49:15.400" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-06-01T02:48:14.010" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you want to avoid exposing your daughter to the worst of your mother's views, but you also want to spend time with your mother and don't want to end your visit altogether when she starts to discuss politics. Is it possible to compromise?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your mother starts discussing politics, take your daughter for a walk around the block. If she starts talking about politics when you get back, go again. This might help show your mother that you are serious about not wanting her to talk about politics, without ruining your whole visit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7868" LastActivityDate="2014-06-01T02:48:14.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12795" CreationDate="2014-06-01T15:25:42.760" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the Commonsense Media site that @ThomasTaylor mentioned is suitable for getting a general opinion based on an &lt;strong&gt;average&lt;/strong&gt; child, but in reality your best bet is going to just be to try them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Libraries and bookstores usually group them by age range, so choose the first book from a series in the general age range that matches your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If a child likes a particular book, try them with the rest of the series. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they find it too difficult, try a slightly simpler read.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it doesn't challenge them enough, try books from the next stage up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes books work on different levels at different ages, so they may be readable twice. For example, Watership Down may be a hit with really young kids as it has rabbits, as they get older it may be terrifying, and then older still it may be a very sad political allegory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just get them reading - whatever the book, it is likely to be far better for them than television (according to any number of studies I haven't personally checked, but sound convincing)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-06-01T15:25:42.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12793" CreationDate="2014-06-01T15:34:35.073" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We took our 3 along to indoor pools (in the UK) from a very early age. Useful points we learned:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;kids that age get cold really fast, so make sure the kids pool is heated, or else watch for them getting cold and shivery: be ready with a fluffy towel and cuddles&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Initially just hold them in the water, then bounce them to make splashes to help them get used to the water&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pull them around with you as you move around the pool - smiling/laughing if you get splashed helps them realise splashing is fine&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After a couple of visits, start to get them used to having their face in the water. The recommendations we got from our kids swim club was to bounce them up and down, and on the third bounce, blow on their face just before letting them go under water. This makes them close their eyes and hold their breath for a short while so they don't breathe in&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once they enjoy this, you can try gently throwing the baby from one partner to the other (stand a couple of feet apart, not either side of the pool!) - this helps them get used to splashing without being held. Ours enjoyed this at about 6 - 9 months and it stood them in good stead for becoming really strong swimmers at an early age (the eldest 2 swim in county championships at age 11 and 13, and the youngest is the youngest girl in Scotland to pass all the SwiMark disciplines - so I think our approach is valid)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-06-01T15:34:35.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12795" CreationDate="2014-06-01T15:35:06.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am inclined to say the biggest factor for determining if a child is ready for a certain book is their interest level. There is little harm in allowing them to &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; the first couple of pages of a book. If the content interests them they may wish to continue with the story. If they are disinterested, they'll know it and you'll know it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you implied, having the ability to &lt;em&gt;read&lt;/em&gt; the words written on the page is one thing, but having the ability to comprehend and enjoy what is written is completely different. I think you will have to do usability tests on individual books, especially since interests in one genre could vary widely. You will need to get a feel for the patterns of what your child reads and finds interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also inclined to say that a good tool for determining this is communication. Ask your child up front what they are interested in. From your consistent querying of what their interests are, you will begin to pick up on the type of content they favor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-06-01T15:35:06.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12774" CreationDate="2014-06-01T18:29:40.070" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, urine has 2 characteristics to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Presence of bacteria&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Acidity&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a long time the concept of urine being sterile in non-sick individuals has been well-known.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/news/20140519/sterile-urine-may-be-a-myth&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Recent research&lt;/a&gt; indicates that that may not be the case.  However, if you're sick, you won't make yourself more sick by being exposed to yourself.  So, if things are cleaned up in a timely fashion, the presence of bacteria in the urine isn't something worth worrying about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless something's seriously &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.chemcraft.net/acidph2.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;off balance with your urine's pH level&lt;/a&gt; or your skin is exposed to a non-neutral pH level for an extended period of time, concerns about acidity aren't worth worrying about either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the bladder cannot be controlled at any time (i.e. including during non-dormant periods), then the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003142.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;incontinence needs to be treated&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The act of urinating while sleeping isn't something I see there ever being a &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to see a doctor for unless there are other mitigating circumstances (either physical, as discussed above, or psychological, say from regular, recurring nightmares or shame experienced by the nocturnal urination).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, it &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; avoid &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003141.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;other side effects associated with waking frequently at night to urinate&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-06-01T18:29:40.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12805" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14227" CreationDate="2014-06-02T08:17:58.647" Score="20" ViewCount="52413" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a discussion in the family about how long of a walk can be taken with our 6-year-old daughter. We walked for 18.5 km (about 11.5 miles) and she was tired at the end, but after a 40 minute rest on the train she was full of energy again. Could this cause issues with her feet? Is there some norm for different ages? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2321" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-06-02T19:52:24.093" LastActivityDate="2023-01-23T08:01:07.587" Title="What walking distance is acceptable for a 6-year-old?" Tags="|health|walking|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12805" CreationDate="2014-06-02T09:47:42.983" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had taken a 'children camp carer` course a few years ago. They said there that while  children can often walk a long distance - and are even willing to do it, they will suffer consequences of such strain in the evening or the day after. They supposedly may experience extreme tiredness, apathy, headaches, nausea and/or diarrhea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, my friends often take their 3-7 yo kids hiking. I can't tell how many km they walk, but these are whole-day walks and the terrain is often difficult. I have not heard any stories of the mentioned consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say that 18 km is a lot for a 6 yo. However, if you walked slowly and rested from time to time, there should be no problem. I think I wouldn't plan such long walks with a daughter so young, especially if I didn't have previous experience with how long can she walk. It's just an opinion though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember to watch your child - if you see signs of tiredness, take a break. Eat a snack, rest for a while. Carry the child on your shoulders for a while, it'll be fun for her, I guarantee it. And then resume the walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T09:47:42.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1873" CreationDate="2014-06-02T11:14:21.533" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience as a proud mother of three, I believe &quot;all things in moderation&quot; is the best route; however, sugar should be avoided for babies 18-24 months then slowly introduced, starting out with small things with low fat, low sugar and not too much kj. My kids love fruit and all other healthy alternatives not because I kept them from sugar but because I didn't 'overdose' them with sugar. Kids are allowed to have sweet things, sugar, or junk food. It's part of growing up but it is definitely something that needs to be controlled. Healthy eating should always be encouraged. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the spices front, these should be avoided until about 9 months then slowly introduced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7876" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-02T12:20:01.100" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T12:20:01.100" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12805" CreationDate="2014-06-02T12:28:35.650" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming your child's shoes fit well you will not cause foot problems by occasionally going on long hikes. (If her shoes are too tight, you might worsen problems like hammertoe, bunions, and so on, but the walking alone won't cause such problems and the real cause is the shoe.) Fatigue, blisters, and sore legs are temporary issues. The permanent changes you are likely to cause are strength, determination, an appreciation of nature, and the kind of adult who says &quot;I did all kinds of things with my parents and was part of their leisure activities&quot; which, in my opinion at least, are all good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly you know how to take your child on a hike: I expect you brought food and drink for her, told her in advance she'd be walking all day, encouraged her if she was tired, stopped at lovely lookouts or other interesting places so she could enjoy them, and so on. If she wants to go on another walk, I would say you've got a good thing going on, and enjoy it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T12:28:35.650" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12774" CreationDate="2014-06-02T14:32:18.423" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the same article posted in the question, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bed-wetting/basics/symptoms/con-20015089&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;symptoms section&lt;/a&gt; identifies when to consult a doctor:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When to see a doctor&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children outgrow bed-wetting on their own — but some need a little help. In other cases, bed-wetting may be a sign of an underlying condition that needs medical attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consult your child's doctor if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your child still wets the bed after age 6 or 7&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your child starts to wet the bed after a period of being dry at night&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The bed-wetting is accompanied by painful urination, unusual thirst, pink urine or snoring&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second bullet point is of particular interest because it describes the distinction between &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/bedwetting-causes?src=.&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;primary and secondary bedwetting&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are 2 types of bedwetting: primary and secondary. Primary means bedwetting that has been ongoing since early childhood without a break. A child with primary bedwetting has never been dry at night for any significant length of time. Secondary bedwetting is bedwetting that starts up after the child has been dry at night for a significant period of time, at least 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Primary bedwetting is typically a developmental issue, although it can be tied to medical conditions, which is why you should check with your pediatrician if it continues beyond age 7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondary bedwetting seems to be more frequently a symptomatic issue:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Urinary tract infection: The resulting bladder irritation can cause pain or irritation with urination, a stronger urge to urinate (urgency), and frequent urination (frequency). Urinary tract infections in children may indicate another problem, such as an anatomical abnormality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Diabetes: People with diabetes have a high level of sugar in their blood. The body increases urine output to try to get rid of the sugar. Having to urinate frequently is a common symptom of diabetes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Structural or anatomical abnormality: An abnormality in the organs, muscles, or nerves involved in urination can cause incontinence or other urinary problems that could show up as bedwetting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Neurological problems: Abnormalities in the nervous system, or injury or disease of the nervous system, can upset the delicate neurological balance that controls urination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Emotional problems: A stressful home life, as in a home where the parents are in conflict, sometimes causes children to wet the bed. Major changes, such as starting school, a new baby, or moving to a new home, are other stresses that can also cause bedwetting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children who are being physically or sexually abused sometimes begin bedwetting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the webmd article does indicate that bedwetting has a tendency to run in the family, and that most children stop wetting the bed at around the same age as one of their parents did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T14:32:18.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12811" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12837" CreationDate="2014-06-02T15:25:14.260" Score="35" ViewCount="15086" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (3) likes to give presents.  Sometimes he asks to go shopping for presents for his friends (holidays, upcoming birthdays, etc.) using money from his allowance (we designate a small portion of his allowance for things he wants to buy for himself, and he mostly uses it for presents for other people; the remainder is for savings), and sometimes he'll just spontaneously grab one of his own toys, and decide that he wants to give it to someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We love this behavior, and want to encourage it whenever possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recently received an invitation to a cousin's 5th birthday.  The invitation says &quot;No gifts please!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This child's parents have specified &quot;no gifts&quot; for other events, as well (previous birthdays, family holiday celebrations, etc.), but the boy still received some gifts (usually from the grandparents, and a few of the mother's family members).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given this, and our desire to encourage our son's generosity, and the enjoyment he gets in giving, should we honor the &quot;no gifts please!&quot; comment on the invitation?  Is there some compromise we could aim for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T02:14:37.723" Title="My son wants to bring a present to a birthday party where &quot;no presents&quot; was specified on the invitation" Tags="|presents|party|" AnswerCount="16" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12812" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-02T15:31:22.093" Score="2" ViewCount="520" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are trying to get the kids to be as self-sufficient as they can, including mentally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for some things, we have simlpe rules, so they don't need to get our approval/permission for every detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it is extremely undermining to our goals when a child who knows the rules 100% perfectly and can tell you the answer according to the rules at a drop of a hat STILL asks you the questions that rules can answer all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples (MANY of these or similar per day): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Can I play this video game?&lt;/em&gt;&quot; &quot;What do the rules say?&quot; &quot;&lt;em&gt;Don't play before 10am and only after homework and chores are done&lt;/em&gt;&quot;. &quot;Have you done homework?&quot; &quot;&lt;em&gt;No&lt;/em&gt;&quot;. &quot;So can you play?&quot; &quot;&lt;em&gt;No&lt;/em&gt;&quot;. &quot;Correct! You know the answer then&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Is it OK to listen to music now?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; &quot;What are the rules for listening to music?&quot; &lt;em&gt;&quot;No music when someone in the family is asleep.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; &quot;Is anybody asleep&quot;?  &lt;em&gt;&quot;Yes, mom's sleeping&quot;&lt;/em&gt;. &quot;Can you listen to music?&quot; &lt;em&gt;&quot;No&quot;&lt;/em&gt;. &quot;Correct! You know the answer then&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What would be the reason for a child who 100% perfectly knows the rules and can apply them - for many years - to still ask when they know the answer clearly? And what can be done to encourage them to STOP asking in such a clear cut situation?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTES: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This does NOT appear to be a simple excuse to grab for attention. It's alwasy about a genuine want; and after asking said question, the child is perfectly content to go play/read by themselves for an hour or more with no attempt to contact the parent until the next time they genuinely want permission to do something.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;These are old, established rules. The child knows the rules for years, and was perfectly able to reason those rules years ago, never mind now.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We already try to incentivize by always praising when they reason themselves (which does happen sometimes). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child has no doubt in their knowledge of the rules. When pressed for an answer according to examples above, they never experience any hesitation or doubt as to whether their reasoning is correct (justifiably so).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T15:57:27.940" Title="How to handle unending questions that the child can answer themselves based on rules?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-02T16:00:33.463" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest handing the gift over privately before or after the party. That way you don't make other parents feel bad that they didn't bring a gift, or feel like you are sucking up, or whatever weird social dynamics can result when one person brings a present and everyone else doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't expect to be around when the cousin opens the present since it is a private, thoughtful gesture from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2715" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T16:00:33.463" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12812" CreationDate="2014-06-02T16:52:28.730" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prospective_memory&quot;&gt;prospective memory&lt;/a&gt; failure.  Prospective memory is remembering to do something in the future.  In this case, remembering to apply a rule to a future situation.  It's a very different kind of memory than retrospective memory, in this case remembering what the rules are.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People can be very good at retrospective memory and not very good at prospective memory.  I think this is particularly true of children, who are not given very many opportunities to practice prospective memory, and are generally shielded from consequences for prospective memory failures.  Adults usually remind them of their obligations at the appropriate times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like any skill, you can improve your memory through practice.  What you can do is provide prospective memory aids, and provide consequences for failing to heed them.  A prospective memory aid for your video game example might be a sign next to where the video games are kept that lists the rules.  Even though they know the rules, the sign will jog their memory of the need to apply them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A consequence might be if you ask a parent to play video games before your homework is finished, you'll have to wait an hour after homework is finished to play, instead of being able to play immediately afterward.  The consequence acts as another memory aid.  After they have experienced the consequence a few times, their brain will make the association and help jog their memory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can brainstorm with your kids about other prospective memory aids.  Ask them what they think would help them remember.  Maybe keeping their homework near the video games, putting a picture of someone sleeping near the music, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T16:52:28.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-02T18:14:19.503" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You absolutely must honor the &quot;No Gifts!&quot; request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can tell your son that he will give a gift to charity instead of to that child; or you can buy the gift and &quot;forget&quot; to take it and give it to someone else at another time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T18:14:19.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12816" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12817" CreationDate="2014-06-02T19:02:46.923" Score="4" ViewCount="20122" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby started daycare at 9 mos. It's been two weeks and she still cries when we drop off and pick up. How long did it take for your baby / toddler to like day care and at what age did they start?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7883" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-06-05T12:56:39.220" LastActivityDate="2017-02-15T02:16:16.637" Title="How long did it take your baby to like daycare?" Tags="|infant|crying|daycare|separation|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12816" CreationDate="2014-06-02T19:11:05.800" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crying at drop-off and pick-up is more of a separation anxiety issue, and it's totally normal.  It has nothing to do with whether she likes daycare.  What you really need to know is whether she cries &lt;strong&gt;throughout the day&lt;/strong&gt;, or if the crying is limited to a brief period at drop off and pick up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to sneak in to daycare at the end of the day and see my son playing happily with the other babies, but as soon as he turned around and saw me, he started to cry.  It's fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7886" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T19:11:05.800" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-02T19:14:33.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that its really lovely of your son to be so generous&#xA;definitely encourage this!, but also be respectful of the parents wish (this is a wish that they have given for the party, to disobey would be disrespectful towards them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;however I think it would be fine to drop over a a little earlier (maybe before or after to give a gift then)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;its just a courtesy to the parents and especially other guests, if they haven't the money for presents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7887" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T19:14:33.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-02T19:55:32.213" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Re: compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The gift recipient's parents are giving the gift of the party to all the attendees.  It is natural in society to reciprocate in some way for gifts received, so points to your son for showing a sense of appreciation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you could contact the parents of the child and see if there is another way you son could contribute to the party such as bring sodas, make party favors, give a pack of chewing gum to everyone, help set-up before or clean-up afterwards, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they decline, then you ought to respect their wishes.  As generous as your son is, he may need to find out why presents are not encouraged in this case.  It may not do to supply him the reason (from you), but discuss with him ways he can tactfully investigate for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that the parents don't want a bunch of junk piling up over the years and may be sensitive about reciprocating with presents-in-kind at future parties their child may attend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parents of the child having the party probably don't realize they are sending the message that any gift any of the party attendees could bring is unwanted and worthless.  Your son probably should be protected from that idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't (or your son can't) get a straight answer, see if he can understand that attending the party and behaving nicely also makes a generous gift.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7888" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T19:55:32.213" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12805" CreationDate="2014-06-02T20:10:31.013" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you're going to find a list of 'age appropriate distances', because it's so variable by kid.  My not-yet-three year old can sometimes walk two miles plus with no problem, while I suspect the average two to three year old cannot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a physical point of view, the biggest dangers are short-term (exhaustion, dehydration), and long-term (damage to feet, knees, etc.)  Kids at that age have very flexible ligaments and tendons, and generally are not susceptible to the sorts of knee damage older adults are susceptible to, but they have their own issues in repetitive stress injuries.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the RSI's to be concerned about are related to inflammations or stress fractures near the growth plates in the legs and arms.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=A00613&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; has a good explanation of many of the ones to be concerned about.  In particular, with walking I would pay attention to Sever's disease given it's more often associated with running (and being active).  Stress fractures are also something to pay attention to; if your child has a stress fracture and continues to be active on that foot without taking care of it, it could cause longer term issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From an exhaustion point of view, one thing I learned to be careful of is structuring the activity so it can be stopped midstream without too much difficulty if I don't estimate my child's exhaustion threshold.  Going on a long bike ride, for example 3 miles there and then same back, if you find that at the 3 mile point that the child is tired, you need an exit strategy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Equally important is making sure you don't let the child define the acceptable length; many will keep going until they're exhausted and &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; mention it.  Define the length of the outing ahead of time based on how your child/children have been able to perform in the past, and allow it to shorten with your exit strategy if needed - but don't allow it to lengthen unless it's still easy to exit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T20:10:31.013" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12670" CreationDate="2014-06-02T20:17:50.770" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should stop putting him in nappies immediately, or as soon as you are ready to toilet train ;-). At this point, he's probably pretty used to peeing in his diaper/nappy, it doesn't bother him...why be inconvenienced to stop playing to go walk to the bathroom when you've got a diaper? Peeing in underwear is much more uncomfortable for the child, as it leaves an unpleasant dampness in their clothing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children do not learn to recognize the sensation that they need to pee while wearing a diaper. It's easiest to learn to recognize the need to pee while undressed from the waist down (wear a large-fitting shirt), and once they are good at using the potty while undressed, move on to wearing underwear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on how anxious you are to potty train quickly, vs how much you are willing to clean up accidents may determine what pace you potty train at. Some parents only let their kids go naked (or partially naked) in the backyard, others anytime they are home, etc. The more time they spend not wearing diapers the quicker the transition to the potty will go. Drinking lots of juice or water may help to make them need to go more often to develop the association quicker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can have him sit on the toilet at times of day he would normally wet his nappy, and see if anything comes out. Or go to the toilet every hour to &quot;check&quot; if any pee pee is waiting to come out. There are a lot of different strategies on potty training, you can certainly read whole books on the matter, so I won't go into too much detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any rate, although it is less common to poop train first, it is not unusual or indicative of any problem to get the hang of using the potty/toilet to poop before using the potty to pee. the sensation felt is different, and children learn in both orders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T20:17:50.770" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-02T20:27:50.600" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the parents are generally okay with gifts, and just don't want them at the party, I would recommend telling him to give the gift at another time entirely, and not making it a 'birthday gift'.  The cousin's parents made it clear a birthday gift is not desired, so don't give one.  Instead, give it to him at another time - a week later, something like that - just as a &quot;I like my cousin&quot; gift.  That honors their wishes while also making your son happy.  I feel like &quot;earlier that day&quot; is not really honoring their desires, even if it does avoid some of the 'making other people feel bad'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This assumes the children's parents aren't saying &quot;no gifts&quot; because their house is full of useless toys and they're irritated about ever getting anything (something I can understand well).  In that case, he shouldn't get his cousin a physical gift (ie, something that takes up space).  Instead, you should suggest he give him something that doesn't take up space: sing him a song, or paint him a picture (that's at least not bought!), or offer to do a chore for him, or take him out somewhere.  This is a good time to learn that some of the best gifts are things that can't be bought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T20:27:50.600" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1851" CreationDate="2014-06-02T20:49:30.080" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I created a solution to nighttime diaper leaks no matter what brand of diaper you use. The Soaker Stopper is a diaper extension that catches diaper leaks in the front and sides of the child so you and your baby can sleep through the night uninterrupted by leaks. With 3 little boys that would all wake up in the middle of the night soaked, I had to find a solution. So I created the &lt;a href=&quot;https://babyblowoutblocker.com/soaker-stopper/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Soaker Stopper&lt;/a&gt; out of my own nighttime leak frustrations and have had great success with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7893" LastEditorUserId="16114" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-09-16T04:08:43.950" LastActivityDate="2018-09-16T04:08:43.950" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="12825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12805" CreationDate="2014-06-02T21:08:55.113" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old just completed a half marathon on Saturday, to raise money for her friend's charity, as it is one which doesn't get much attention. And this was all Lexie's idea - we just supported her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In training, she has walked between 10 and 13 miles each weekend with her mother, and on Saturday after the half marathon she then ran around a park with friends for an hour or two, then went on a trampoline for half an hour and finished the evening dancing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is a bit tired today, though, but not sore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simple requirements: enough biscuits, fruit and water to be taken at regular intervals. Kids don't have the energy reserves of an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I concur with Joe's comment about allowing exits - we set up the route in a way which meant we could cancel if we had to at any point:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/LjOqa.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(If you want more info, feel free to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.justgiving.com/LexiesLongWalk&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;click on her Justgiving site&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T21:08:55.113" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-02T21:47:04.690" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the other parents have requested 'no presents' then you should respect their wishes.  Even if you give a gift before the party it is still going to cause problems, when guests subsequently compare with each other at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your child is keen to be generous and give gifts, why not suggest that he gives a gift to a needy child via you rlocal Salvation Army, or gives a gift to the child's ward at the local hospital, give something via &lt;a href=&quot;http://oxfamamericaunwrapped.com&quot;&gt;oxfamamericaunwrapped.com&lt;/a&gt; or you can even sponsor a child via (eg) &lt;a href=&quot;http://children.org&quot;&gt;children.org&lt;/a&gt; and make a real difference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7894" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T21:47:04.690" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-02T22:32:39.757" Score="45" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Don't bring a gift; don't call and ask&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an opportunity to teach your son three very important lessons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;1. Your beliefs are not more important than their beliefs.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it may be tempting to give the gift anyway, or try to persuade them to accept the gift, that really isn't respecting their beliefs. If you give the gift, you're forcing your belief on them. If you try to persuade them, you're trying to change their beliefs. If you really want to respect their decision, you will abide by their request and let it go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;2. People are not required to explain their beliefs to you.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Calling them is only going to make them give reasons (which may or not be real reasons, but just ones they chose to advertise) that they should never have to give in the first place. They have no obligation to defend their decision to you, or to make an attempt to compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;3. Other disrespectful people don't make it okay for you to be&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other people may have brought gifts in the past and had no incident. They willingly chose to disrespect the stated beliefs and enforce their own. Now perhaps the people who did it were well respected in the family or community, or were key business people who would be incredibly offended if the gift was declined (not to mention ruin the mood for the party), so there may have been no incident, but that doesn't mean they didn't just stuff their feelings down inside for the sake of the birthday party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's put a slightly different spin on your situation. Time for some role playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine a boy (let's call him Johnny) growing up in a family of alcoholics. He decides he's going to avoid the pitfalls of his family and abstain from all alcohol. Fast forward to college, and he's going to university with your son. His status as a strict-non-drinker is known to your son. Some friends ask your son if he's coming to have a couple drinks with them. Your son and his friends are very responsible drinkers. They don't get completely smashed and go keying cars, no trouble with the cops, and have no problem getting up to go to work the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son's friend says &amp;quot;hey, is Johnny coming?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is literally the exact same scenario. Now, generally we consider giving gifts to be a &amp;quot;good thing&amp;quot; and drinking to be a &amp;quot;bad thing&amp;quot;, but we know that gifts can definitely be bad, and that drinking can be good, it all matters on how far they are taken in both regards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny has a right to not drink just as much as your son has a right to drink. Just because your son has no problem having a couple beers and staying responsible doesn't mean he has to force it on his friend who willing chooses not to. If your son wants to respect his friend, he just won't ask him to come since he already knows the answer. Putting him in a situation where he has to say no would probably be embarrassing and difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny is not required to give a reason why he declines an invitation to go drinking. He's not required to go along and DD (although many would consider it a good compromise to avoid social ostracization, he shouldn't have to feel pressured to). And if your son wants to respect his friend, he won't ask his friend to defend his decision not to go. Putting him in a situation where he has to would probably be embarrassing and difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny should not have to feel pressured just because others who chose not to drink have changed their mind and still been responsible drinkers. Not that it's any weakness on their part necessarily, but this is just a form of pressure that a friend shouldn't put on another friend. (Ultimately, that anyone should put on anyone anyway...) This is a straw-man argument to persuade Johnny to come along (a debate that shouldn't even be happening in the first place).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, in this case Johnny is like the parents who sent the &amp;quot;no-gift's&amp;quot; invitation. The reactions we would get from the Johnny situation are so obvious because they've been drilled into our heads that we need to avoid peer pressuring friends into drinking and doing drugs, and specifically that we need to learn to resist those pressures. Those principles don't change just because drinking or drugs aren't the subject matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether the belief is something as important as the existence of God, or something as trivial as light rain showers are pleasant, if we really want to respect other people's beliefs we should follow these three lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T22:32:39.757" CommentCount="27" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12739" CreationDate="2014-06-02T22:38:58.977" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the social maturity of the child, as well as with the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is very social and will likely be playing the game with a lot of -different- people, then I would say yes. If child is able to express themselves in a very unique and personal way, then again yes. But if the child is going to be playing the game with the same couple people in the same exact way, and there's no way for significant variation to occur during which the child remains the focal point, then I would lean toward no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's some examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child will be able to play monopoly with his siblings, and with his friends from school, and with his friends from soccer, and with his friends on the block, then he will constantly be experiencing something different. He will view this gift as clearly for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child will be able to play Magic the Gathering with his siblings, and can spend a lot of time building and customizing his deck to play with, he will be able to express himself creatively. His siblings will be doing the same, naturally, but generally that will be out of sight and out of mind. He will view this gift as clearly for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child will be able to play monopoly with his siblings, but you all live too far from town to really have many friends over to mix things up, this would probably be viewed as more of a family present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T22:38:58.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12829" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-02T22:49:46.103" Score="3" ViewCount="186" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest son (almost 3) is one of those transportation kids, who loves anything to do with a vehicle (car/train/airplane).  When he's inside, he does basically nothing but play with one of those three things.  (He's also an outdoors kid, so this is only half to two thirds of the day usually, but still.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this makes shopping for him easier, we're concerned he's not experiencing a diverse enough range of things to learn effectively.  He does read with us a lot, and if we specifically ask him if he'd like to do another activity (put together puzzles, color, playdough, etc.) he often will agree to participate, we can't necessarily always participate ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was in daycare, they seemed to handle this largely by defining the activity he may participate in; ie, &quot;it is dress up time now&quot;, &quot;coloring time&quot;, etc.; at any one time only one or two activities were presented as available.  This certainly got him to participate in a diverse set of activities, and he seemed to enjoy them; but it seems rather draconian to us to schedule things that aggressively at home (and he's currently at home all the time now).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're proponents of the 'you should have fun as a kid' theory of parenting; at least until he's older we don't plan to push him hard academically, and so forcing him to not do what he'd like to do is somewhat abhorrent to us - but it also seems to be the only real option for encouraging him to do things to develop his mind in different ways.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a significant benefit to ensuring he participates in a wide range of activities at this age, or are we overthinking this, and should just let him play with his cars/trains and occasionally do other things with us, but allow him to spend most of his time doing what he wants?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if we're going to largely let him play as he wants but occasionally push other things when we're going to play with him, is there a particular set of things we should &quot;supplement&quot; with - playing with vehicles is heavy on the hand-eye coordination, both fine and gross motor control to some extent (the way he plays, anyway), and creativity/story telling; he also likes to organize vehicles and sometimes even count his vehicles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T12:49:59.863" Title="Toy diversity and learning" Tags="|pre-schooler|learning|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12739" CreationDate="2014-06-02T22:57:31.983" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see no reason you can't give a game that requires multiple participants to a birthday child. Just because birthday child will have to find someone to play the game with them for it to be fun in no way takes away from the present being for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember as a kid having some games that were mine (twister) and my sister had some games that were hers (mouse-trap). We both shared with each other, but took ownership over our own games, and that worked quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games are usually something that &lt;em&gt;can be&lt;/em&gt; played with siblings, but they can also be played with friends, or with parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&#xA;Something fun to do with siblings and friends, practice sharing with siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&#xA;Can't play games when no one is available to play with, practicing sharing with siblings doesn't always go smoothly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T22:57:31.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12829" CreationDate="2014-06-02T23:15:13.307" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no reason you can't tie other activities to his interests to help him diversify but still enjoy his object of fascination. &quot;Let's draw a picture of a truck&quot;. &quot;lets build roads out of playdoh for your playdoh Diggin Rigs&quot;. &quot;Let's build a garage for your trucks out of duplos&quot;. &quot;Should we put on construction hats/costumes and pretend play we are building a city?&quot;, &quot;Lets build dirt mounds in the backyard and drive trucks on them&quot; etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To ask whether you need to diversify, ask yourself whether he's using a wide range of skills and engaged and not bored. Is he getting practice at both gross motor and fine motor skills? Enough social opportunities, etc? Sounds like he is. If you just let him play trucks all day one day, what happens? Does he get bored and spend hours asking you if he can watch bob the builder instead of playing? Does he think of some novel way to use his trucks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids go though phases. They may burn out on their interest after a while, or grow to have additional interests as they get older as well. he may decide he's into superheroes, pirates, sea creatures, dinosuars, legos, etc. Books that combine themes may help bridge some of those interests as well, for example, &quot;Gus the dinosaur bus&quot; is about a dinosaur being a school bus...vehicles and dinosaurs. So as a parent I wouldn't bother to go too out of the way only have toys that match his current theme, lest you suddenly have a closet full of toys he's over...teach him how to creatively use what he has in different ways. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How pushy you are about &quot;it's time to do xyz&quot; or &quot;Would you like to do xyz today?&quot; is kind of a different parenting issue that people have different opinions about They both have their places, but kids do like having choices, so if you can at least set it up as either A or B ...or... here are some ideas if you're bored of your own ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-06-02T23:15:13.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12812" CreationDate="2014-06-03T02:08:12.460" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't seem to be related to memory IMHO.  It sounds more like the child doesn't agree with the rules. You don't question the fact that he remembers the rules, OK that's good. But does he agree with them?  You seem to be concerned by the intellectual aspect of that only (does he understand, does he know, does he remember...), but not too much the emotional aspect of it.  Having old established rules doesn't mean that they are fair.  At least fair for your child.  Or maybe it was fair years ago and it isn't any more.  Children grow, so they should be able to question the rules now and then (not all the time, I hear you).  If you always have the same questions, maybe it is time for you and your child to sit and discuss the rule:  not you doing the talk and trying to convince him, but both you trying to find an agreement on the rule.  Also, maybe your child focus a lot on the rules and bother you all day long (can I do that...?), because &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; focus a lot on the rules. In the examples you give, it sounds like you'd always reply to their enquiry with &quot;what does the rule say?&quot;.  If you child hear you talking all day long about rule, it is understandable that it would be his main concern to satisfy you:  I will ask dad/mum about it, so (s)he sees we all agree. Of course, it isn't conscious. To break that pattern, I'd try to stop talking about the rules (but still applying them of course).  That would maybe sound like: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[child] - Mum, can I listen to music now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[me] - I don't know. Can you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[child] - Yes, I think so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So then the child would turn on his music, and then I would have to apply the consequences of a broken rule (whatever they are in your house). But the conversation would most likely be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[child] - Mum, can I listen to music now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[me] - I don't know. Can you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[child] - No, I don't think I can, dad's sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if the rule's broken and your child has to face the consequences, it would be a good opportunity for you to check if he agrees on the rule. If he starts discussing the rule, then maybe later you will have to indeed sit down with him and discuss the rule (but I wouldn't mix that discussion with the initial consequences of the broken rule).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T02:08:12.460" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12779" CreationDate="2014-06-03T02:25:28.737" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry I have no studies, only my own example...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two girls and one boy.  The boy as a baby was exhausting!  I basically carried him around everywhere for six months without putting him down (thanks baby wrap!), he would be upset for the slightest thing, he didn't like car, he didn't dark, he didn't like mummy sleeping. Let's face it, he was a pain. &gt;.&amp;lt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But now he is the nicest of all. A sweet smart cheerful boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My two girls were nice easily-contented baby, especially the last one. That last girl was a dream of a baby.  No lies, she started to sleep through the night when she was three week old.  She would be happy in anyone's arms, she didn't mind playing alone when mummy was cooking, she didn't mind the car, she didn't mind going to day care, she was a smily easy baby.  And now (she is three) she is a little monster. &gt;.&amp;lt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard, but your boy will grow fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T02:25:28.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12450" CreationDate="2014-06-03T02:33:09.310" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two things I want to say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;don't let her cry alone for two hours.  Maybe it doesn't help her falling asleep when you carry her in your arms, but at least she isn't alone facing pain or fear or whatever it is.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;possible reasons:  teething (the back teeth are very painful, the fact that she didn't complain much for the other doesn't mean that she doesn't suffer now) ; reflux (try putting her to sleep on an inclined bed -- with pillows under the mattress for instance) ; not sleepy any more (yes she was sleeping a lot, but now she is growing and maybe she sleeps too much during the day) ; too tired (she felt asleep too quickly and she panicks when she wakes up even though she is still tired) ; nightmares... Many possible reasons, really.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T02:33:09.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12711" CreationDate="2014-06-03T02:44:45.230" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toilet timing?  Would that help?  You send him to the toilet at regular times when you think he has to do a poo.  I can recognize when my daughter has to, for instance, but I can't see on my other kids, so maybe you wouldn't recognize the signs neither.  In that case, maybe first during a week or so you would have to write on a paper the times when your boy soiled his pants.  So then you know more or less when it is likely to happen next.  And so you would send him to the toilet around that time, and encourage him to stay as long as he needs to (and if that doesn't result in a poo, then you would have to send him back not too long after, etc etc). And when it is done, maybe a little reward or at least congratulate him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I personally never got much chance with toilet timing, but it apparently works very well for many people...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is nearly seven year old and regurlarly wets/soils her pants. So I hear your pain, I am sometimes very very depressed too, it has put lots of pressure on my relationship with my daughter (who is a very nice cheerful girl otherwise). All the things we can try, it makes me feel bad and useless. I hope you will find a solution soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastEditorUserId="7896" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T01:31:47.867" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T01:31:47.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12751" CreationDate="2014-06-03T03:02:46.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say YES too, even if your child don't really need it.&#xA;My chidren are all bilingual:  we live in an english-speaking country, they speak English at school and, well, everywhere ; but at home we speak French, that's the rule. If you want to teach him that other language, then really use it, giving him a lesson once a while in that language wouldn't do much, you'd have to tell him things in different contexts. Like, read him a book in that language, that can be your &quot;night time story&quot;, or sometimes tell him things in that language, it doesn't have to be a long conversation, just a few words here and there, for instance if you are cooking pasta you could say &quot;do you want pasta ?[in English] I love pasta ! [in your other language]&quot;.  (I don't agree with Midas above:  yes you can speak different languages to your children, one sentence in one language and the next one is another language, it doesn't matter! learning the language itself is very different from learning when to use it, you will see that later you will have to tell your child &quot;please speak in English, Mr Smith doesn't speak Klingon&quot;, which is really another topic than learning Klingon at all -- but indeed you shouldn't mix both languages in one sentence, because then it would be confusing, it would be like teaching another weird language, neither English or whatever-other-language-you-speak...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I can see indeed that being bilingual help you to learn other languages. My son especially, he is very good with languages, he is currently learning indonesian at school (just two hours per week or so) and he is doing very well. Because of course he has already learned that things have many names in different languages, once you get that you can call a chair a chaise, a klouk or a whatever, it really doesn't matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, you ask if it is worth doing it... Well, if you are speaking a very rare language, you probably need every possible occasions to practice, don't you? It would be good for you. It would also be a great learning experience for your child later, when you tell him why you know that language even though you can't use it a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T03:02:46.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-03T11:25:12.417" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are a couple of important points here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My son (3) likes to give presents.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  (...)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  We recently received an invitation to a cousin's 5th birthday. The invitation says &quot;No gifts please!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This child's parents have specified &quot;no gifts&quot; for other events, as well (previous birthdays, family holiday celebrations, etc.), but the boy still received some gifts (usually from the grandparents, and a few of the mother's family members).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your son is 3, his cousin is 5. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The rule isn't strictly applied.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you didn't state the reason behind the rule, I assume you don't know what it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming that there's a normal family relationship between you and the cousin's parents, I would ask them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the reason, you can gauge how your son transgressing this rule would be received. If you feel it would not be a big deal, you can explain that your son would &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; like to bring a gift, and ask if and how this is possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's really not permissible for your son to bring a gift, you now have a reason you can explain to your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps they don't want &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/12753/5026&quot;&gt;an avalanche of gifts for their kid&lt;/a&gt;, perhaps they don't have much room left for more toys, perhaps they are a bit snobbish and think that no one but they can find gifts that are good enough for their son, perhaps they've invited kids from poor families who don't have much money for gifts and who they don't want to make feeling bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the reason given, you could help your son pick a present that meets their constraints, agree to give it another time, or (as has been suggested) give something to charity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR:&lt;/strong&gt; Communication is the key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T11:25:12.417" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-03T13:09:46.270" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many other answers focus upon the assumption that the &quot;no gifts&quot; rule is to prevent public competition.  However, I would ask the parents directly and explain the situation.  There could be other reasons, any of which could provide good options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, both of my daughters have had a bad habit of leaving small pieces of toys (rubber bands, plastic bits, etc) laying around.  Besides difficulty in cleaning this presents a health hazard for our cats.  So for my elder daughter one reason I could consider requesting 'no gifts' is to avoid items with small pieces.  Asking me first would allow me to communicate that concern and allow your son to still exercise his selflessness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My younger daughter has so many clothes and toys that her room is overflowing and most of the family's storage space is dedicated to her.  I may not want any physical gifts for her.  However, especially for a younger child, a gift of something like a share of inexpensive stock would definitely be welcome.  Again, asking me first allows the situation to work out for all involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine raised her kids with very little money to spare, and they could not afford gifts for their friends' birthdays.  In their case, requesting 'no gifts' was a way to be socially responsible by not accepting what they cannot reciprocate.  This may be a less comfortable topic, but hopefully one the parent is willing to explain.  In that case it provides a great opportunity to speak with your child about respecting others' situations, beliefs, and desires, and that sometimes the nicest gift we can give someone is our own restraint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, communication is key.  Other parents understand the importance of every experience to a child, and especially the importance of cultivating generosity.  I'd be really surprised (and disappointed) if the parent didn't appreciate your concern and try to work with you for a mutually optimal resolution (or at least explain their reasoning to provide a learning experience for your child).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7735" LastEditorUserId="7735" LastEditDate="2014-06-04T12:11:43.240" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T12:11:43.240" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-03T14:48:55.630" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are few quandaries or challenges in education, they are mostly AGLO moments (AGLO = Another Great Learning Opportunity).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not a challenge, it is an opportunity to teach your child three very important principles:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Boundaries - Respect boundaries, there is no &quot;small&quot; or &quot;large&quot; when it comes to another persons boundaries, our own take is not the yardstick, the yardstick is that of the person who set the boundary. What if I love purple, and am also very generous, and I decide to pick your locks while you are on vacation, and paint your entire house in purple? After all, I'm giving you a generous paint job, free of charge, and in my favorite color.. I'm sure you can draw the analogy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Restraint - A skill no longer that popular, but rather rewarding later in life. It can help prevent addiction, and other destructive behavior. 'NO' is a forgotten word. 'NO' is not cruel, as long as it is delivered with love. If a child cries a bit, that's ok, the scar tissue of the temporary 'pain of NO', yields healthy restraint muscle that lasts a lifetime.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Giving is about the recipient, not about the giver. While a person may feel good when (or about) giving, that is not the end, nor the means, it is merely a side effect, and should not become the 'end'.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The NO should come as a straight out NO, without explanation, doing so enforces discipline, explanations can come afterwards. If you explain points 1-3 to the child, you are unlikely to discourage the child from giving in the future. Though a child cannot (typically) reason at this young age, the message will sink to the subconscious, and will benefit him later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: We often refrain from saying NO to our child, because we cannot handle the pain of our child crying (or we simply don't want to deal with it). Remember - &quot;No pain, no gain&quot;, educating a healthy and morally balanced child is not easy, its not fast food, it takes sweat and tears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6697" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T14:48:55.630" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12711" CreationDate="2014-06-03T15:02:14.577" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;With those few of my children who continued to poop in their pants rather than the toilet well after learning and generally choosing to urinate in the toilet, we eventually told them something similar to, &quot;You are capable of recognizing when you need to use the restroom, and taking care of yourself in there. We would like you to choose to keep yourself and your clothing clean, but if you want to go poop in your pants you will be responsible for cleaning yourself and your clothing.  You aren't allowed to continue to play with poop in your pants.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually there was a time or two after that where we would have to enforce the rules by making them stop playing, and making them go through the yucky process of cleaning themselves and their clothes - or staying in the bathroom until they did so.  But eventually they decided that while going to the bathroom was annoying, cleaning up was much more annoying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This won't work if there's a medical issue and they can't even tell when they need to use the restroom, and usually we would try rewards, reminders, scheduled bathroom breaks, and a few other methods first before resorting to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T15:02:14.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-03T15:03:31.900" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an opportunity to begin to teach your son about honoring the wishes of others. If your son gives a gift, he is not giving what the receiver wants (the receiver having specifically asked for &quot;no gifts&quot;), he is instead giving what HE wants. This is a little bit abstract for a 3-year-old, though, so I would try something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I love how you love to give presents to people. Today, though, we are going to your cousin's birthday party, and their family has asked that no one bring a present. So instead of taking a present, let's think of something nice we could do for your cousin. Why don't we make him a card?&quot; Your son may have other ideas of things he could do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T15:03:31.900" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12812" CreationDate="2014-06-03T15:05:30.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with user27864, this does not appear to be a memory issue, that would be overcomplicating a simple situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's likely going on is: Since children have an innate need to validate for themselves that their environment is stable and safe. As a result, they will continuously test authority to validate the safety and stability of their environment. When a child kicks and screams, we tend think they want us to 'give-in', it is quite often the reverse.. they (subconsciously) want to see how hard (or how easy it) will be to destabilize their environment, in other words the are testing the safety of their little world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note about rules, I find that it is easier (and often beneficial) to apply rules in a positive way, so rather than &quot;You cannot... until ...&quot;, I like to use &quot;you can ... after...&quot; or &quot;after you finish ... you can ...&quot;. Taking the positive approach appears (in my experience) to diffuse the 'power struggle' before it occurs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One additional point, the best way to teach children self sufficiency, is by example, i.e. by being self sufficient ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6697" LastEditorUserId="6697" LastEditDate="2014-06-03T15:34:40.947" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T15:34:40.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12812" CreationDate="2014-06-03T15:57:27.940" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For my older children it's often the case where they don't want to fall afoul of the rules (and thus get in trouble) coupled with the &amp;quot;dishwasher&amp;quot; effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;The Dishwasher Effect&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They don't like to put their dirty dishes away. If they don't, however, there will be a consequence.  So they put their dishes on the counter if there isn't a parent around. If there's a parent around, they'll ask if the dishwasher is dirty.  We usually tell them to look themselves (ie, you already have the power to answer it yourself), but there's a problem:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They can't always tell if the dishwasher is dirty or not, even if looking.  We drink mostly water in our house.  We have a large family so the dishwasher is run almost twice a day, which means that the condition of the dishwasher can't be associated with time.  We often use clean dishes directly from the dishwasher, so there may be a half full dishwasher of what appear to be clean dishes, but they might actually be dirty and without careful inspection it can be hard for a child to understand the state of the dishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what should be a simple rule: &amp;quot;Put your dirty dishes away&amp;quot; appears to be a big, difficult to solve, problem for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if it's not difficult to solve, a seemingly simple rule may have a dozen other rules attached and it can be difficult to remember them all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Requesting A Rules Check&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The conversation will sometimes go like this in our house:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Son&lt;/strong&gt;: May I play video games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parent&lt;/strong&gt;: I don't know, can you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Son&lt;/strong&gt;: I think so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now at this point I can say, &amp;quot;Well, do according to your understanding.&amp;quot; and then when I follow up with them later I will inevitably find something they failed to do. This makes both of us unhappy.  But unraveling the rules turns out to be a significant challenge.  The rules, at first glance, seem simple:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Homework must be complete&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chores muse be complete&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bedroom must be clean&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Playroom must be clean&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you dig in, there are nearly a dozen rules for each of the above, and any minor violation may result in a consequence. They can't easily determine if their homework is complete.  As an adult it seems trivial, but it's not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there math homework? Is it done?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there social studies homework? Is it done?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there English homework? Is it done?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there a long term project? Have I completed enough of it that I can consider myself up to date?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there a test coming up? Do I need to study for it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What day is today, is there something specific I need to get ready for tomorrow?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is, or should be, in theory, a stable checklist for each task.  The bedroom isn't clean until all the toys and clothes are off the floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But then there are a number of exceptions on top of these dozens and dozens of rules.  Is what the siblings are doing going to change the evaluation for the bedroom being clean? Is it fair for this child to be delayed from video games due to actions of a sibling preventing them from &amp;quot;checking off&amp;quot; all the rules (similar to sweeping the leaves off the sidewalk on a windy fall day).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Difficulty is Over Nine Thousaaaaand&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a checklist of four items, and those items don't cascade into any other items, and they are easy to evaluate, and there are no exceptions, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; you may be justified in your frustration at having them evaluate the conditions each time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, even to a tween or teenager, these are not simple questions to answer, and depending on how strict your consequences are they may choose to have you evaluate them every time, rather than run the risk of forgetting task 1.a.III.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Problem Solving&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider a different approach, when they ask you to evaluate the rules:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parent&lt;/strong&gt;: If you aren't certain, I'm glad to help. Rather than discussing it verbally, though, since that hasn't worked in the past, I'd like you to write down the rules and then come back to me so we can review them together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Child&lt;/strong&gt;: Here are the rules (hands paper)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parent&lt;/strong&gt;: Ok, this [looks right|is missing X, Y and Z]. Now which rules do you already know the answer for - put a check mark next to them.  ... Good.  Now let's talk about the ones you aren't sure about.  Sometimes it helps to break things down into smaller pieces.  So let's take clean bedroom, since you aren't sure about it.  Go ahead and write down the rules for a clean bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Child&lt;/strong&gt;: Here are the rules(hands paper)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually you will accomplish several things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They will have a list of your approved rules for a given activity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You (and they) will explicitly recognize which ones they are having trouble evaluating&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You will teach them how to solve &amp;quot;big&amp;quot; problems by breaking them up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You won't be sending the messages &amp;quot;You are all alone in this&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;I will always solve your problems for you.&amp;quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They will understand that while you are available to help them evaluate the rules, you won't actually do the work for them, and it may be less annoying for them to figure it out themselves than it will be to go through the process with you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They will see that you are consistent, and unlikely to make an exception or forget something, making it less profitable to take a chance and ask you when they already know the answer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T15:57:27.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12844" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-03T17:30:19.533" Score="2" ViewCount="1207" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's well known that small children don't understand the concept of the future or passage of time, so there is no point in applying the punishment for too long of a period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, that mental development limitation gets resolved as children grow older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there a good guideline on what length of punishment (withdrawal of privileges, or of specific items) is effective at what ages?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples: withdrawal of a specific toy that the child likes to play with nearly daily. Or withdrawal of permission to watch TV. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age bands of most interest are preschool, elementary school and middle schoold&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-06-04T15:32:27.650" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T16:54:39.843" Title="What are the effective durations of punishment at various ages?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12450" CreationDate="2014-06-03T18:22:54.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were able to solve this through a bit of trial and error guessing.  We tried adding an additional lunch baby-food feeding to her existing bottle+baby food schedule, and slightly increasing the dinner baby food intake.  She then slept without a whimper again, starting that very night. (for a few weeks now at least)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This made us feel really guilty of course not knowing to increase the food then, but it is a learning experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6814" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T18:22:54.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12706" CreationDate="2014-06-03T18:32:57.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She may just be used to doing it. If she learned to throw at an early age she might have been stuck with doing that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't really encourage her, but if you keep forcing her to do it, it may take a while so be patient&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7906" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2014-06-03T18:57:38.150" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T18:57:38.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-03T20:40:04.433" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There may be many reasons behind the no gifts rule.  Possibly the child has an allergy to something (plasticisers?) and the parents have to throw away 90% of gifts which causes them all pain.  Maybe they are afraid of cheap toys which might have poisoned paint.  As a strong rule respect their wishes unless you have their permission to do otherwise.  As a weaker rule, call your friends nd family and ask them if you don't understand something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people have suggested that they might be being rude.  That may be so;  perhaps they think your gifts are too cheap.  However I suspect not.  There's probably something serious and strong behind their wish and they aren't saying what it is in order to avoid offending.  Maybe they only want quality safe toys such as Lego Duplo and don't want to be seen as greedy by demanding you pay extra.  Perhaps if you ask, you and your son will understand and support them, which is probably the best gift you can give.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7909" LastActivityDate="2014-06-03T20:40:04.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12849" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12916" CreationDate="2014-06-03T22:29:19.727" Score="1" ViewCount="113" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 12 week old daughter has watery eyes occasionally, even when she isn't crying. She produced tears from a few days old, which has been remarked on by others as unusual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't seem to cause her any discomfort, and I guess it could be because she barely ever blinks, and is constantly staring with wide eyed wonder at this new world of hers. (Or it could be hayfever.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are going to the doctors just to get her checked out, but I suspect they will say it is nothing, unless I can provide some suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do some babies have watery eyes in absence of an allergy or medical issue? What else could cause this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2014-06-07T05:27:36.613" LastActivityDate="2014-06-07T17:08:11.210" Title="Do some baby's eyes produce water more than others?" Tags="|newborn|crying|eyes|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12711" CreationDate="2014-06-04T00:05:24.587" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he has been cleared medically by a doctor and he is okay physically and mentally, suspend  all favorite activities and have him earn them back by using the bathroom when he has to poop. You have to let him realize he is going to lose all fun by choosing to soil his pants. Make him responsible for cleaning up himself and ban playing until he finishes. He will care when he has no video games but it may take a day or do for it to sink in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7912" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T00:05:24.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12851" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-04T03:31:55.770" Score="3" ViewCount="29147" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 4 months baby.  We have recently observed some hair strands. We have noticed that he plucks hair from his hair or mother’s hair and he puts the same hand into mouth for sucking. In this process he is swallowing hair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a bit concerns us. Swallowing hair is dangerous? And how to avoid him swallowing hair?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastActivityDate="2014-08-12T03:24:30.950" Title="4 months Infant is swallowing hair" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12748" CreationDate="2014-06-04T11:54:13.857" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is always the hazard that these kids are coming over for the toys rather than friends, but this shouldn't be a concern in itself. If your kids enjoy the company and these kids behave then it can be very positive to have a bunch of children all playing together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would agree that you need to set ground rules though- any guests should have to get permission from you first, you should get to know their parents and agree how you handle issues, accidents or discipline requirements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As we have a very big garden we often find over twenty kids in it during the summer. My rules include simple safety ones such as no more than two people on the trampoline at once, agreed return times with parents, everyone either leaves at dinner time or eats with my kids etc. to try and make it more about the social aspect and less about random strangers abusing hospitality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although on SE we want a single question per post (otherwise you can end up with multiple questions all answering a single part correctly) I'll have a stab at your full list:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I approach the parents of these children?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell the kids they can't come over unless you meet their parents first. Ideally accompany them to their house, or get the parent to come over to drop their child off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What should I say to the parents?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them know your house rules, and ask them if the kids have any special requirements you should know about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do I work with the parents to set rules for their kids? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nope - your house, your rules. If they don't like it they can keep their kids away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I let kids play with my daughter who seem less interested in her and more in her toys?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they cheer your daughter up and don't abuse the privilege, yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I make it clear to these children that they are not to play at our house (ex: in the back yard) while we aren't home? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just tell them. Ban them from coming if they misbehave. This is actually pretty simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I keep the number of children within a manageable level? I know I don't feel comfortable about having 7 kids over.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again - just tell them. Your rules, so you can say, &quot;Enough&quot; and send them home whenever you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And my final rule is that I always get the biggest water cannon... very important, this one!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T17:55:57.977" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T17:55:57.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12829" CreationDate="2014-06-04T12:49:59.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're overthinking (smile). You are already supplying some diversity (reading, outside play, and daycare which will eventually be replaced with school). I am sure you have other toys and activities available in your house for him to choose from, but he is choosing what he enjoys, what interests him, what gives him comfort. Others have suggested this might be a phase - many children have fierce attachments to one mode of play for several years (dinosaurs, superheroes, horses, dress-up) and they eventually outgrow it. But I can tell you having raised two sons that sometimes cars/trains/planes are a lifelong passion that eventually leads to a career! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T12:49:59.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12795" CreationDate="2014-06-04T13:14:10.333" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out your library!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Libraries have librarians who are trained to help with reader's advisory. In a big enough library, you will find the librarians read a lot of kids' books - the will ask your child questions about what they have liked in the past and what their interests are, and they will give customized recommendations. (They do this for adults too!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Libraries also supply access to specialized databases like NoveList, where you can select all sorts of parameters in order to get reading suggestions. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Library catalogs often have reviews within their catalog which have been done by professional review sources (School Library Journal, Booklist, Kirkus, etc.) to help you with your selections.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The librarian will happily teach you how to use NoveList or the catalog or whatever other resources they have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Books from the library are free. You can take a whole stack home, and after reading a few pages, if the book is not something your child is interested, he can set it aside and pick a different one from the pile. If he finds a series or author he likes, he can bring home a bunch at once!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T13:14:10.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12856" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-04T15:24:54.850" Score="-1" ViewCount="158" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you best approach (if, at all) teaching children in the late toddler to preschool age groups about responsibility - not responsibility as in doing chores (which we have a good handle on), but as in making choices that have meaningful consequences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One example of this is that when we go out for dessert, we let our almost-three year old choose to forgo dessert for a small toy (like a car) that is the same cost as the dessert we'd have bought him.  This often works well, or at least without argument, when dessert is consumed at home or when the choice is made at the dessert place (where he often chooses the at-hand dessert).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if he chooses the toy and then after that, Mom or Dad get dessert, he often will through a tantrum if he's not allowed to eat a significant portion of said dessert.  The only solution we've found is to discard the dessert at that point, which doesn't really make anyone happy (but stops the tantrum).  Reminding him about the toy doesn't seem to make a difference; he regrets his choice at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What good solutions are there to helping him cope with his choice?  Is this even a good idea at this age (34 months)?  Are there better ways to teach meaningful choices that are more effective at learning?  Or is this just one of the many difficult things you have to do as good parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-06-04T17:21:08.237" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T18:17:28.420" Title="Responsibility, Real Choices, and Consequences" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12857" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12863" CreationDate="2014-06-04T15:38:49.833" Score="4" ViewCount="15381" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the best approaches to help an older preschooler (~5-6YO age) overcome fear of heights, like going on very high slides/monkey bars/other playground equipment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-06-04T19:07:33.153" LastActivityDate="2016-07-22T09:05:00.347" Title="How to help a child overcome fear of heights" Tags="|pre-schooler|fears|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12858" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-04T16:24:26.103" Score="-1" ViewCount="451" Body="&lt;p&gt;Past Parenting.SE questions have asked about &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2338/can-we-afford-to-have-a-baby&quot;&gt;the affordability of having a child&lt;/a&gt; but didn't provide a specific estimate of what it actually costs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/expendituresonchildrenbyfamilies.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this USDA report&lt;/a&gt;, which estimates the cost of raising a newborn child from 0 to 18 by a two-parent family to be around $250,000. But that number doesn't provide much in the way of a &lt;em&gt;range&lt;/em&gt; of estimates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, is it likely that my expenses will be between $230,000 and $270,000, or is it more like it'll be somewhere between $100,000 and $400,000? That variability is important -- there's a big difference between needing to spend $270,000 and $400,000!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the single-point estimate doesn't tell me much in terms of how expensive it really is to raise a kid. Obviously every child is different, but are there &lt;strong&gt;any citations&lt;/strong&gt; that can provide more of an expected range for whether I can responsibly afford it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7919" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T23:50:41.313" Title="Are there any concrete citations for the range of expected costs of raising a child?" Tags="|money|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="11" ClosedDate="2014-06-07T02:31:16.467" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12858" CreationDate="2014-06-04T17:12:01.993" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest you go back and read the full &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/expendituresonchildrenbyfamilies.htm&quot;&gt;report&lt;/a&gt; you cited more thoroughly, as I doubt you will find anything better than that. It is 32 pages long. You will find:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your gross income level is less than about $60K, you will spend about 25% raising a child. At $60k-$105k, you will spend about 16%. Over $105K, you will spend about 12%. These are averages based on what people are currently spending. You do have the option of being more frugal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Expenses increase slightly as the child ages, mostly in transportation costs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It breaks down, by percentages, how much of that total is spent where. Housing, for example is 30% of this, childcare is 18%, food is 16%, and transportation is 14%. If you can find savings in any of those (or other) areas, you can reduce your overall estimate. For example, you may have two children sharing a room, so no additional housing cost for the second child. You may not have childcare expense if there is a family member to watch young children. Your employer may cover health insurance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some areas of the country are more expensive than others. If you live rurally, you will spend about 2/3 of what someone in the northeast (urban) area of the country will spend.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Second children are less expensive than the first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;People who make less spend less on their kids (even though it is a greater percentage of their income). A 2-parent family making $39K manages to raise a child for a total cost of $143,000. If you make more than this, and you spend as frugally as this couple, you too could do it for $143K.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are charts at the back of the report showing cost by age of child, family income, single vs two-parent, and area of the country. Each chart is broken down by how much is spent on each area of responsibility (housing, food, etc.). If you can identify savings in any of those area, you can make adjustments for your family's estimate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These estimates are for ages 0-18. They do not include college expense.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a lot of math involved in tailoring the information to your own circumstances. Fortunately, the website even includes a handy calculator to get you started!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T17:12:01.993" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12856" CreationDate="2014-06-04T18:17:28.420" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe this to simply be a part of childhood development, which, frankly, they aren't likely to master until their twenties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a two year old and a five year old.  We've done the same sort of thing, &quot;Here's a choice, you may pick one or the other, but not both.&quot;  And often times we end up having trouble because then the five year old later wants the other thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're not familiar with it, check out the Standford Marshmallow Experiment.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2624" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T18:17:28.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12862" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-04T19:34:36.617" Score="0" ViewCount="458" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little guy has never been a great sleeper but we hand him on a pretty rough schedule up until last week. He had to go to the hospital for 3 days. He is well now but his naps are completely off. He is easy to get down, probably because I feed him to sleep (another problem I want to work on) but he has been waking up at EVERY nap after 30 mins. I try letting him cry for a few minutes (never works) going in and patting him, giving him his pacifier, sometimes I pick him up, nothing works. I finally give him a bottle and that sometimes gets him back to sleep. I have to feed him for about 10 mins and try to quickly switch out his paci for his bottle but he usually wakes up and I have to start the feeding process over again. Most days I just give up and end the &quot;nap&quot; by getting him up for a real feeding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do get him not to wake up after only 30 mins?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I get him to go back to sleep with out feeding him? He sleeps pretty well at night. We put him down around 8, wakes up at 3, asleep again until 6 so I know he is capable of going back to sleep on his own. We swaddle at naps and bedtime and his room is dark.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7921" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T03:45:33.513" Title="3.5 month old wakes up from nap after 30 mins and will only go back to sleep by feeding" Tags="|sleep|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12857" CreationDate="2014-06-04T19:57:54.633" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One general solution is to start with an &quot;easier&quot; fear to manage (e.g. start with an elevated walkway rather than the slide/monkey bars).  Stay with the child and hold their hand.  Distract them so they don't realize they're at a height, then slowly draw their attention to it.  Encourage them to step up to the railing and reassure them that you're there and will hold on to them and they wont fall, etc.  If they have trouble with this, you can start slower (go up the stairs with them and just point out that they're at the same height as the railway) but at no point should you force it (e.g. don't carry the child up to the height, and don't push them towards the edge, etc).  If they refuse to approach the edge or have a strong negative reaction, remove them from the stimuli - you don't need more negative feelings being associated with the thing they're afraid of, you need positive feelings and memories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the child acclimates to the walkway, move on to something slightly more 'difficult'.  The key is slow acclimatization to each new stimuli, always being encouraging and supporting, but never pushing the issue.  If you can get them to suggest it, all the better (this can be done by working around the issue, talking about something cool that can or will happen from being introduced to the stimuli, and making them want to see/do it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For heights (especially at a playground), a good order would be stairs -&gt; walkways/bridges/overlooks -&gt; slides -&gt; monkeybars.  For slides, try to go with shorter slides at first and you can either go down with them or stand at the bottom to &quot;catch them&quot;.  Monkeybars, you can walk along with them while they hang.  Also, for slides, they may find it easier to go down covered slides (where they can't see outside) at first.  You can later point out that an uncovered slide is the exact same thing but without a roof.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bear in mind that while you can work with a person to help them overcome their fear of something (or at least be able to manage their fear), you sometimes can't remove it completely.  If they're truly afraid of heights, and you aren't having luck, you can see a psychologist, or you can let it be.  It wont be the end of the world if they don't play on the jungle gym, and a lot of these fears are passing things that the child will naturally get over as they get a little older.  If it truly becomes an issue, and you aren't having luck, seek a professional rather than pushing it and making it worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6535" LastEditorUserId="6535" LastEditDate="2014-06-04T20:06:38.077" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T20:06:38.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12857" CreationDate="2014-06-04T19:59:06.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;(You don't say whether this is a phobia or a fear.  You don't say whether it is a problem that needs to be fixed or if it's just something that you want to fix right now.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Controlled exposure to the thing that causes the fear is one approach.  At all time the child is in control of the actions.  You start with activities that are far away from the objective (&quot;playing on high equipment&quot;) and work, in tiny steps, toward that goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by drawing and painting some pictures of a playground.  Include some monkey bars and similar.  Read or make up a story with this equipment.  Go to a playground where they have the equipment, and talk about the children playing on it, but then go do some other play activity, then approach the equipment and talk about it, maybe touch it, and then play on another piece of equipment.  Start climbing just a couple of steps off the floor, then come down and do something else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At each point listen to how the child is feeling.  Acknowledge wha they're saying.  Do not dismiss their feelings.  Then ask them what evidence they have to support their opinions, and talk to them about alternative explanations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T19:59:06.513" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12865" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12880" CreationDate="2014-06-04T20:06:11.560" Score="11" ViewCount="10543" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 4 soon, and he already enjoys playing a few educational games on my tablet or his mother's phone (he plays maybe as much as an hour a week).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a gamer, and we've tried playing a few &quot;real&quot; games together, such as Mario Kart.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't grok controls very well.  We can show him specific combinations of controls, but he has trouble putting them all together, and invariably winds up getting stuck.  Once he gets stuck, it stops being fun for him, and he decides to do something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer may simply be &quot;wait until he's old enough to figure it out on his own&quot;, but I'm not sure.  Should I be trying to teach him how to work the controls on video games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2019-05-04T13:02:25.333" Title="How should I teach my son to play video games?" Tags="|pre-schooler|video-games|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12865" CreationDate="2014-06-04T21:05:34.467" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could you get something touchscreen for him? Our daughter loves playing video games on our phones and get Surface - she's a pro at Fruit Ninja and Angry Birds. She seems interested in playing games on our XBox One, but doesn't quite have the control figured out. Starting on the touchscreen might help him get the mechanics of playing games until the manual dexterity of using a controller fleshes itself out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T21:05:34.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-04T22:32:35.983" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't understand the problem. Since when has the &quot;wants&quot; of a 3 year old guest been more important than the house rules? Take the opportunity of teaching your son the importance of respect and compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;no presents please&quot; comment should not be ignored, and the only compromise that needs to take place is on the side of the child - the party hosts should not need to make any compromise in this instance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7925" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-06-05T00:16:15.313" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T00:16:15.313" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12858" CreationDate="2014-06-04T23:50:41.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a different take on the cost of raising children from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=&amp;amp;esrc=s&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=1&amp;amp;cad=rja&amp;amp;uact=8&amp;amp;ved=0CCIQFjAA&amp;amp;url=http://www.fraserinstitute.org/uploadedFiles/fraser-ca/Content/research-news/research/publications/MeasuringCostChildren.pdf&amp;amp;ei=wqyPU7v4JJOgqAaHjoI4&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNHmd-EN7tODIlzd3mQA3DiLjPI0aA&amp;amp;sig2=Dx34oIjd5OJjJkkQGOdvvw&amp;amp;bvm=bv.68235269,d.b2k&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Fraser Institute&lt;/a&gt; (2009) in Canada which looked at numbers for Canada, the US, Great Britain, Australia and New Zealand.  They found a significant flaw in traditional methods of calculating the cost of raising children, which is that adding children to the family doesn't so much add costs as it changes the way a family allocates its money. Consider this table:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/9HvDh.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On average, couples with one child tend to earn a little more, they eat out less and buy groceries more, they buy fewer clothes for themselves in order to buy for the children, their child care costs are partially offset by a reduction in their own educational costs, they drink and smoke less, and in the end, they are only spending about $4000 more per year (which is partially offset by their making more money).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does not exactly answer your question, but it seemed significant research to add to the discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-04T23:50:41.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12508" CreationDate="2014-06-05T03:38:28.057" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It probably depends on how long and how often they play.  But as beginners I don't think they will overstretch their hands or do anything which could be harmful. Some piano teacher told me that we usually recommend children to be at least 6 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T03:38:28.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12862" CreationDate="2014-06-05T03:45:33.513" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could it be that he just doesn't want to sleep anymore?  If he has &quot;naps&quot;, I imagine it is more than one and half an hour each time sounds already good enough for me.  If he sleeps well at night, if he is happy and you too when he wakes up after his nap, why would you want to put him back to bed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And also:  there is no problem with feeding your baby to sleep (unless you leave him sleeping with the bottle of milk for instance). Everything that works and makes you and baby happy, take it. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T03:45:33.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12865" CreationDate="2014-06-05T04:08:41.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children don't have touchscreen and enjoy video games, but we don't allow them very often (maybe once a week).  I think we have started about one or two years ago, they would have been around 4 year old at that time. We have a Wii.  We let them play with Animal crossing, where there is limited need for complicate controls (you can do many things, but you don't have to, so it is still fun any how you play it).  We also let them play with Mario Kart. Initially we set up the wheels with an elastic band around the &quot;2&quot; (I think it is 2, I am not home to check, the one button that you need to press to move forward :)), because they couldn't remember to press it all the time.  Now we have removed the elastic bands, and they do it very well themselves (they are 5 and 6 now).  We also let them play with all other Mario games.  The easiest one is Mario Sunshine, because there is no quick thing to do, they can just wander around and that allows them to test and remember the buttons.  No way they would do a race or a fight or any action-reaction game, even now that they are 5 and 6, they would just freak out. :)&#xA;Since you have Mario Kart, instead of doing a race, put an elastic band around the &quot;move forward&quot; button and start a &quot;coins race&quot;, less stressful for the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if he doesn't think it is fun, then I wouldn't try and convince him.  He will soon want to play all day long, so just enjoy that time when he doesn't yet bother you every two minutes with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T04:08:41.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-05T05:49:25.777" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's good that your son is so generous.  But I would say don't bring a gift this time.  Your son can learn something new and important from this experience.  Not bringing a gift can teach him that giving material things to others is not the only way to contribute.  In fact, there are situations in which simply being a source of comfort to others is far more valuable than any material object.  Instill this now so that it remains with him later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7928" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T05:49:25.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12816" CreationDate="2014-06-05T06:10:43.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my observation, separation anxiety is age dependent. At six months of age, babies tend to be relatively happy being left with a babysitter. At nine months, they have definitely formed attachments and will protest strongly when dropped off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, there is not much to be done about crying at drop-off time, other than to say a few reassuring words and letting them cry it out. They will eventually learn that you will return every time, and be OK with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T06:10:43.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12875" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12884" CreationDate="2014-06-05T07:42:02.073" Score="1" ViewCount="149" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am thinking about buying a wifi camera like DropCam - for remote monitoring. However, I am quite worried about having to do a complete round trip to the Clound and back just to watch the live feed when I am at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any systems that would let me watch the live stream via wi-fi when I am connected to the same network as the camera, and also offer remote viewing (I don't care about lags as much there)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7929" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T16:39:30.987" Title="Wi-Fi baby monitor with local and remote viewing" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2014-06-05T19:11:56.910" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12865" CreationDate="2014-06-05T09:38:18.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience with my son is that he built up to complex commands, mostly on his own.  We started with a game like Lego Star Wars (which is great because of the co-op and drop-in/out features).  Initially he could figure out running around and blasting things (two hands, one button), but had trouble with things like &quot;using the force&quot; which required using a different button and holding it for awhile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially, we played with him and it was fun, but my wife and I got bored of playing the same levels that he enjoyed over and over again.  So he would want to play and mommy or daddy would come help when he got stuck.  Eventually he got tired of waiting for us to help him and mastered those controls.  Still, very little in that game is complicated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We moved on to Lego Batman, a game with more difficult and complex controls, and had a similar learning curve, and the pattern repeated almost exactly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently he started playing Lego Harry Potter with my wife and mastered some fairly complex controls (selecting a spell, for instance) within a few minutes rather than weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before he started playing, I re-started playing games for the first time since he was born and he enjoyed watching me play and bossing me around.  I remember trying to talk him into playing my game, but the controls were much too hard.  He had an active interest, but didn't want the frustration.  In the end, I found it pretty enjoyable to spend the time together and it seemed natural for him to join in when he was ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1729" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T09:38:18.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-05T11:17:19.547" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;@Beoftt - Since it is the relative's party, You can remove the guilt factor (if it was one of the reasons) in getting a &quot;free lunch&quot; - After all, You will have an opportunity to return the favor in one way or another, numerous times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Re: violating the stated rule, can also be considered as rude from the host's standpoint, violate their personal/religious beliefs &amp;amp; might put them and other guests (who were not prepared to bring any gift) in a fix .  So, go with what the guest had asked.  If you are still not convinced, talk to the parents, who are after all, Your relatives to understand their rationale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7932" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T11:17:19.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12865" CreationDate="2014-06-05T12:31:34.130" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a game developer, and probably guilty of over-exposing my two daughters to video games. I make an attempt to limit the amount of time they get with digital devices, but introduced them both to touch devices at a young age. (At least we don't have a TV in the house! I'm more against exposure to mass media advertising than screens per-se.) My older daughter learned to use a d-pad style controller using an ipad (with a simple platformer), and was able to learn to use a playstation controller with a little practice, once her hands were big enough to hold it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing with kids and games is to be part of the play as much as possible. Don't just leave them there to play alone. Play with them, teach them, help them. This can be hard with touch devices, which tend to isolate the player in their own world, which is why I recommend playing co-op games on a console.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Racing games are fun, but with my own kids I've noticed that they are actually somewhat harder than platform games. There is a lot of control involved, and when you fall behind, or crash, there is a high frustration level. This is why I encourage co-op play where going slow and helping your child is a defined goal of the game. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, the best and most fun game to play with kids is Little Big Planet 2. The game is visually fun and quite forgiving about controls. It is easy to find simple user-created levels online that don't require any technical platforming, with a focus on exploration, problem solving, or roleplaying. Because the game is co-op, you can guide and assist your child by grabbing onto them in-game, or having them hold on to you while you swing / grapple / swim etc. There is a creative aspect to the game as well. You can dismantle the levels and move items around. Sometimes my daughter will spend ages just dressing up, or decorating the &quot;pod&quot;. For older kids, there is a creative mode where you can create entire levels. This is a lot of fun, and you could also make special customised levels for your own child if you want to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A note on game genres: Personally, I have a strong preference for letting my children play fast paced / coordination based games than &quot;casual&quot; games. While they may often seem mentally stimulating, they are frequently engineered to produce addiction using psychological techniques originally developed for gambling machines. The mobile market is saturated with these kinds of games. Be especially wary of free-to-play casual games. I tend to think it is better to pay for a game with a pay-up-front business model, than one one that comes free but uses psychological manipulation to try to get money out of people. (Especially children.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7934" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T12:31:34.130" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12816" CreationDate="2014-06-05T12:46:48.280" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little one began at 1y1m. The first 2 weeks was a progressive routine, with assistance from one grandmother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until today (2 months later) she still cries/ lay-down some tears when she sees me leaving and has to say goodbye or something like it, even when she jumps to her room by herself. But I know that she doesn't cry during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She used to &quot;cry&quot; (some tears) when I was picking her up. Now she just smiles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To see if she likes daycare, ask her &quot;carers&quot; (don't know how to say &quot;ask the ones that take care of her at the daycare&quot;) what she does during the day, what songs they sing, etc., and do the same at home. You'll see if she likes it or have some frightened look.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T12:46:48.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12865" CreationDate="2014-06-05T13:15:23.093" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your questions are very interesting ones indeed. And I admire your effort to share one of your passions with your child so early. I am a gamer myself and I'm planning how I'm going to approach my kids so as to not force my passion upon them (I'm the kind of person that can and will play almost anything, be it electronic or not). My advice has this main core objective: &lt;strong&gt;I want my children to play video games if/because they like them, not because i like them&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some Explanation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main issues related to both of your questions are that your kid is still at an early age. Right now:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he probably can't hold a controller well because it's probably heavy for him, which makes it difficult and uncomfortable to use.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;since he is only 3 years old, his eye-hand coordination isn't completely developed enough to effectively play and watch the effects of his plays on a screen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the kid is developing some of the more simple cognitive processes (regarding to language and other stuff that seems trivial when you're a grown up) that we do when we are very young.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So be a little more patient with your kid. He will probably surprise you (I'm a firm believer that kids these days are way faster learners than we were).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Recommendations:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This activity with the tablet seems to be working well and already puts him in a situation where he has to learn how to control something using a limited part of his body. These controls are also pretty simple and make it easy to play and watch because you play at the same spot you watch. Therefore, you probably want activities that are similar to this one (not necessarily involving actual video games).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend you to &lt;strong&gt;try more activities&lt;/strong&gt; to develop his eye-hand coordination that do not involve video games as a a form of indirect training, such activities like: drawing, painting, telling stories and any other activity in which the kid has an active role will help him develop the cognitive skills and coordination to be able to play games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final piece of advice is: his &lt;strong&gt;curiosity&lt;/strong&gt; will be in your favor. Kids are curious by nature, they are very young and don't know much about the world, so things that are far boring to you (per over exposition) may be new and intriguing to them, when your kid gets to age 4-5 his cognitive skills will have reached a point that he now can express his curiosity better, that will be a better time to introduce him to a few more complex video games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7935" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T13:15:23.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12816" CreationDate="2014-06-05T14:10:46.250" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children will go through phases.   I had two children in daycare since they were 6-8 weeks old each; neither cried at first (because that's too young for separation anxiety), but both went through phases in and out where it was easier or harder.  Even after two years old, my oldest would still have weeks or months where he'd cry when we left.  He would be fine within five minutes of us leaving almost every time, but he'd still cry while we were leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More than likely, you won't be able to tell if your child actually likes daycare until they're close to two years old, but you can still look for clues younger than that.  That's when we started being able to tell with our oldest, and we saw a change over the next six months compared to the previous year - he initially liked it, but by the time he was around 30 months, he began to be frustrated more and more (due to a few circumstances changing).  We could tell by how he described his day (within the limits of how one can do that at 2) and by his attitude: he stopped wanting to stay at daycare longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For an infant I'd primarily look for him/her to be happy at pickup, but happy to play in the environment.  See if the infant starts to interact with the teachers sometimes even if you are there.  Those sorts of cues show that he/she is doing well, and a good fit at the daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T14:10:46.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12875" CreationDate="2014-06-05T16:39:30.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most any IP camera should do that; you just have to set up port forwarding, and assign an IP (if your modem (assuming DSL or Cable or Fiber connection into your home) uses a dynamic IP address, a free service using Dynamic DNS will be essential).  Any router will have a guide for setting up port forwarding, and most IP cameras will also allow you to set up security and ports so that you can see the camera's feed when you're outside your network. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;We use Foscam IP cameras in the kids' rooms, and Dynamic DNS + port forwarding have allowed us to view the cameras when we aren't home.  The setup wasn't bad, and I usually only unlock the port when we know we will be away and the kids are home, to minimize security issues.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T16:39:30.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12885" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-05T17:53:47.950" Score="-2" ViewCount="630" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are good approaches to convince an elementary school age child to tuck his shirts/tshirts into his pants?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every single time he gets dressed, the shirt/tshirt is over the pants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll tuck it in when reminded with no fuss/objections, and keep it in during the entire day and won't attempt to take it out. So the problem seems to be with the tucking process and NOT with the fact of being inside or out for wearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When asked WHY he didn't tuck in, the answer is *shrug* &quot;Don't know&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-06-05T18:59:43.537" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T13:02:29.667" Title="How do I convince an elementary schooler to always tuck his shirts/tshirts into his pants?" Tags="|primary-schooler|clothes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12885" CreationDate="2014-06-05T20:06:34.180" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the response is typical for kids that age. Even through the teen years, kids lack the ability to necessarily understand &quot;why&quot; they did something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that he does tuck it in when asked and without objections, I'd say just keep reminding him, and don't make a huge deal out of it. Eventually he might start doing it on his own, and if not, I suspect you'll have bigger battles to wage than this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-06-05T20:06:34.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12811" CreationDate="2014-06-06T02:14:37.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say no compromise and no gift.  I am myself a mother who always mentions &quot;no gift please&quot;, and I find it a bit annoying when parents do allow their child to bring in a present.  The idea is that my children receive way too many presents anyway and they don't need any more, and I don't want the invited children to compete and the invited parents to make unnecessary expenses (not everyone can afford even a very little present).  Even if you as a parent thinks it's OK and you will be discrete and you trust your child won't mention it to others etc, well you can't guarantee that it will indeed not be known + the birthday boy/girl usually gets over excited and not his usual self (three children myself, I can't recognize them on their birthdays...):  if he starts receiving presents, then he will be expecting presents. The same as with any other habit at home:  when your child can do something, then (understandably) it is a normal fair thing for him to do, then their is no harm asking for it later. Plus, personnally I tend to find this behavior (not respecting the &quot;no gift please&quot;) very unfair for very close family and friends:  these are the ones who are going to follow the rules, they know me, they understand why I ask for no gift so they won't try anyway, even though I would actually allow them to offer my child a gift another day, because they are special people to my child.  So when a classmate brings in a present, I can't help thinking of my child's grandma who didn't bring a present.  Of course I am not upset at anyone, I am telling you how I feel, I understand the reasons why some parents feel like they can trespass but I wish they just didn't. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your son's desire to offer a present, maybe you could ask him to:  create something (a card, a cardboard truck, whatever) instead of buying something (because then it is moved from &quot;gift&quot; category to &quot;shared craft activity&quot; category :)) + offer it at another occasion (not for his birthday, but one week later is fine :)).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T02:14:37.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12795" CreationDate="2014-06-06T02:24:07.287" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I sometimes put aside books which I didn't think my children should have read (like a cute &quot;middle age&quot; where-is-charlie-kind of book, with explicit torture tools... for preschooler age O_o). And then found out that anyway they would have not been shocked by the content.  Children adapt themselves, if something is out of their grasp then they are going to fill in the blanks with some OK imaginative explanations. To be shocked by middle age torture tools, they would have to understand what's wrong about torture, and children don't go around with right and wrong ideas.  I guess that's my opinion for young children's books, but I am not sure how old the children you are talking about are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T02:24:07.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12890" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-06T09:21:15.320" Score="22" ViewCount="14149" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13-year-old daughter is fascinated and obsessed with another girl. She is not able to do her normal routine things. She has not even talked to the girl yet the girl occupies her full mental space. This has led to all her friends laughing at her and calling her &quot;gay&quot; she has stopped going to school. I am very worried and concerned. She is in therapy but this issue is not getting solved or it's not even close to being resolved. She is on anti-depressant medication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7950" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T12:53:02.713" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T22:02:17.263" Title="How do I approach my 13-year-old daughter's confusion regarding her sexuality?" Tags="|teen|parents|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12857" CreationDate="2014-06-06T11:00:47.840" Score="-6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell him that his hero (maybe his father, or any game character) loves the high places and his hero will be mad if he finds out that your child is afraid of high places.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7952" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T12:59:55.130" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T12:59:55.130" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12890" CreationDate="2014-06-06T11:11:52.237" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is the psychological therapy a direct result of only this event? To an outsider without more information, that sounds like more than necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;For something this critical, don't get advice from anonymous Internet strangers. Talk to the therapist instead!&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter's therapy is private but you should take the opportunity to discuss &lt;strong&gt;your role&lt;/strong&gt; with the therapist. Get an urgent appointment with the therapist and get professional advice on how to handle the situation as an involved parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are things you can do, separately from managing the immediate crisis you are facing. Most importantly, show her that you love her and that you support her &lt;strong&gt;unconditionally.&lt;/strong&gt; Her sexuality as well as every other detail that makes her &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; does not change that you're her loving parent and you want to help her be a wonderful person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to support her in a way that she best likes (don't bulldoze over her with your own style). Give her hugs and support if she needs it. Give her space and quiet if she prefers that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we have a few &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/homosexuality&quot;&gt;related questions&lt;/a&gt; on this site, and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/3208/109&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; in particular seems useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T18:10:09.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12885" CreationDate="2014-06-06T13:02:29.667" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simple reason is because &quot;I don't know&quot; sounds better than &quot;I forgot&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I forgot&quot; implies admission and lays direct blame on the subject being asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I don't know&quot;, while somewhat implying admission, it doesn't place direct blame. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you fix it? Your remind him to tuck his shirt in every day until the one day he comes out of his room dressed with a tucked shirt. Then you say &quot;thank you for tucking in your shirt without me having to remind you&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T13:02:29.667" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12895" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="12897" CreationDate="2014-06-06T13:07:00.207" Score="3" ViewCount="1474" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son always (from age 4 to elementary school) had this weird love for being dressed in a &lt;strong&gt;dress shirt and a clip-on tie&lt;/strong&gt;. He wants to wear it very often, both to more dressy occasions (parties etc..) but ALSO randomly when playing at home - even when playing ball, not just playing at having a party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He got the idea from the costume he once wore for a preschool show.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that show wasn't his favorite and thus I don't think it's transferring good feelings from the show to the attire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does not seem to be imitation (the father never wears ties to work, nobody he knows wears ties in even party situations, no kid acquaintances/friends wear ties).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What possible cause could there be for this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T14:40:29.833" Title="Why would a child love and always attempt to wear a dress shirt an a tie?" Tags="|clothes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12890" CreationDate="2014-06-06T13:15:27.290" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing is to support your child in her self-discovery. If she is realising that she is gay, then it is fundamentally important that she is in a supportive and loving home, with a family that accepts her. You can't control the attitudes of her friends and classmates, but you can make sure you let her know that you still love her no matter what her sexuality is. You can also tell her to drop those friends that can't accept her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking her to therapy could help her with depression and anxiety, but it could also make her feel that there is something wrong with her, at a very formative time. She needs to discover her own natural sexuality without feeling pressure to be one way or another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Torben that if you are struggling with this situation yourself, perhaps &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; might benefit from speaking to a therapist..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, I don't want to sound at all like I'm accusing you of &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; being supportive. It's just that without knowing your situation, the mention of therapy does make me a little concerned. Being gay is not a sickness that needs to be treated by a doctor. (Nor is a teenage crush.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you and your daughter all the best. Love and support are the best advice I can give.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7934" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T13:15:27.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12895" CreationDate="2014-06-06T14:05:20.663" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's going to be really hard to pin down a single cause, unless he can tell you himself (I assume you asked him already).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ties represent authority and responsibility, particularly when worn in media, whether it is on the news or in a children's show.  He may have seen people wearing ties on TV and decided that that was pretty cool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may simply find them ridiculous looking (I know I do, especially when I'm the one wearing it!), and thus find it fun to wear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also may be as simple as perhaps he received a compliment or two when dressed for the preschool show, and liked it enough that he decided he likes ties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T14:05:20.663" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12711" CreationDate="2014-06-06T14:16:36.940" Score="8" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Positive Reinforcement&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't stress that enough. Everything you've mentioned to resolve the issue is a negative reinforcement. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's not supportive of shaping behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What might have happen is you've become caught up in dealing with the problem instead of focusing on the goal of toilet training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Become Nonreactive&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very act of getting upset when he spoils himself could be reinforcing the behavior. Children can develop an interest in the negative reactions of their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deal with it calmly, and without any negative emotion. Simply tell him &quot;That's okay, next time use the toilet&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This neutral response when coupled with positive reinforcement for using the toilet will make spoiling himself an unattractive option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Get Back To The Basics&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's time to get back to the basics. You need to walk the child through the process of toilet training from start to finish. Repeat this process until success. You can't just skip steps and assume he knows how it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read him books on toilet training. Most books are focused at younger children, but the key is the bound between parent and child. The child needs to have a strong feeling of trust with the parent to use the toilet while the parent is present. It's during this sharing time that the bound is created.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay with him during toilet time. Speak in encouraging ways. This is a special time between parent and child. This is the time a parent gives the child one-on-one attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take him to the bathroom. Hold his hand and walk him there. You're the parent and it's your job to say &quot;It's bathroom time&quot;. Don't say &quot;Go to the bathroom&quot; and stay behind.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set a time duration. During bathroom time my children spend about 1 minute per year of age. After that if nothing happens they are free to go play.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Model the behavior. Openingly state &quot;I have to use the bathroom&quot; when you need to go. Leave the bathroom door open, and allow him to see adults are the same as children. Allow him to enter and talk with him during your bathroom breaks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Display the end results. Before flushing bring in the child and display what you've done. For a young child this fulfils curiosity. An older child might not be interested, but allow him the opportunity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Use Positive Reinforcement To Shape Behavior&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children will do almost anything for just a little attention from their parents. You can reward bathroom time in many ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep books he finds interesting in the bathroom, and read to him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep some toys he likes (action figures are good) and play with him while he sits.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allow him to personalize the bathroom. Put his artwork on the walls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take him shopping and allow him to pick out a custom toilet seat with cartoon characters on it he likes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid delayed rewards. Don't promise gifts or treats that are given later. Don't promise something based upon conditions (i.e. if you poop you get thing X as a reward). These are complex concepts for children to associate with a behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Let Go Of The Problem&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, the child going number 2 in his pants is a huge problem. It's a big problem for you and for him when he's at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to let it go. That weight of the problem could be shaping the way you're handling the training. Don't let the problem create a negative atmosphere around the process of training. Keep the toilet training and accidents he has as separate things in your head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of starting training over is understanding that he doesn't currently use the bathroom correctly. Therefore, accidents are a perfectly natural event for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastEditorDisplayName="user2480" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T14:25:37.523" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T14:25:37.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-06-06T14:19:09.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fairly clearly, your son does not believe there will be any repercussions if he ignores you and stays. You need, therefore, to both let him know that you want him to leave, and make it clear that ignoring you will not make that go away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, you can invite a physically strong friend around (know any policemen, security guards or bouncers?), sit down with your son and explain that you cannot tolerate his behaviour, and you need him to leave by tomorrow. The friend is there to both prevent him using violence to intimidate you (like he did with smashing glasses), and to assist you if he did try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is reasonable, he will leave. If he is rational, he will talk to you about it, and you may be able to agree a sensible way for him to have a positive relationship after he leaves. If neither, then you are best placed to ask the police to remove him from your house. You must not let yourselves be intimidated by anyone who threatens violence, even if they are part of your family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point he needs to learn that actions have consequences, that you are not willing to put up with his behaviour. When he was 5 you could enforce discipline physically, but now he is too old for that, and you must make use of the physical force society makes available to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6921" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T14:19:09.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12895" CreationDate="2014-06-06T14:40:29.833" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something I've noticed with my kids is that young children are repeaters. They watch the same episodes on Netflixs over and over again. They play the same games over again and the same toys over again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They want to always wear their favorite PJs, and to always have their favorite teddy bear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For them this repeating helps define the constants in their world. The consistency helps give them a sense of stability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son has found something he likes and he wants to keep repeating it. Trying to understand why he likes it might be as difficult as an adult trying to understand Pokemon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The common factor is children like to repeat things they enjoy, and they are capable of repeating them far beyond what an adult could tolerate. For example; I could not watch my favorite movies as many times as my daughter has watched Wall-e.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what might seem like excess to you is feels perfectly normal to the child, and he does it simply because he likes it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user2480" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T14:40:29.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12890" CreationDate="2014-06-06T14:40:42.473" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;She needs your support (and the therapist's) while going through a difficult enough stage of life with the added complication of (possibly) being gay. It sounds like her peers are (like most kids) not open and supportive of her, which may quite possibly reflect the general society where you live. If she's hurting herself &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; of anti-gay taunting, that's something that her school is legally required (in most states) to try to combat. If they can't or won't, you should take her out of that school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please keep two things in mind, whether you're uncomfortable with homosexuality or it gives you no problem: 1) it's biologically determined, not a lifestyle choice. Your daughter is that way not through a choice, but through her own internal makeup. And 2) it's entirely possible that she will bounce all over the place, between out and out lesbian and perfectly straight, before she settles on her own skin that she's most comfortable with. Especially in females, sexual orientation is a rather fluid thing that doesn't settle down until her 20s. So don't feel alarmed if she's gay, or relieved if she's straight -- it could change (multiple times).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addendum: 13 years old is a little young, particularly in girls, to declare a sexual orientation once and for all. As I said above, she could change back and forth several times by her 20s. Don't let her get tattooed with a declaration of her lesbianism at 14, as by 16 she may desperately wish to remove it while she's dating a boyfriend (and at 18 may be back to a girlfriend). Don't worry about it, but give her your love and support, whatever she turns out to be -- she'll always be your daughter. And if you're not comfortable with homosexuality, it's time for &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; to come to terms with that, or at least hide your feelings so as not to give her a message that's she's bad in some way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7958" LastEditorUserId="7958" LastEditDate="2014-06-09T13:41:54.877" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T13:41:54.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9238" CreationDate="2014-06-06T15:57:34.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since she seems to be good about not sexting guys (hopefuly, for security reasons in part), one thing to strongly consider &lt;strong&gt;and teach her&lt;/strong&gt; is &lt;a href=&quot;http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThereAreNoGirlsOnTheInternet&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;There are no girls on Internet&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's kind of an abused trope, it is to a large extent true. Tons of people online pretend to be opposite gender (reasons vary, some are more malicious and some are less). Many pretend to be wrong age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can find studies (you can ask for them on Skeptics.SE using TVTropes link above as a required notable claim) that prove this, show them to her so it's not just your (clearly, unreliable and false because you're her parent :) word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T15:57:34.520" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12903" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-06T15:58:02.223" Score="2" ViewCount="1230" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 4 years old and will not sleep at night. He stopped taking naps during the day at 1 and a half. He has never slept good. He gets up at 6:30am everyday. When we get home I get him to play in the backyard, go swimming and he plays soccer just to try to get him tired. He lays down at 9:00 pm with lights off. Then as soon as we leave the room he is back up playing. If we try to lay with him till he falls asleep he will just lay there and talk all night it is 1:30 to 2:00am every night untill he actually falls asleep! I have tried many things but nothing has worked so I'm lost. Please help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7961" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T18:00:26.547" LastActivityDate="2014-06-08T12:27:35.377" Title="My 4 year old boy will not sleep!" Tags="|sleep-deprivation|hyperactiveness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12508" CreationDate="2014-06-06T16:00:40.970" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have researched and researched and researched looking for any associations between starting piano too young and heart complications. I have found nothing. While that's not dismissing the claim since I have no evidence either way, it does sounds rather unreasonable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was able to find personal stories of playing piano and problems with pain. One man I read about, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pianopractice.org/chestpain.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Chuan C. Chang&lt;/a&gt;, revealed a story about chest/heart pains after playing intensely. He ended up discovering that it was 1, due to bad warm-ups, and 2, because he wasn't relaxing while he played. This was causing him to stress his diaphragm while he played, thus causing heart attack and heart palpitation symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another lady indicated that playing the piano caused her pain because of her [fibromyalgia].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found several other sites that were more satire than anything but nothing related to heart issues and children playing the piano. The only danger I can think of is that if they are not mature enough yet to take on a musical instrument, they may develop a disdain for it and complete disregard lessons as being useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T16:00:40.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12541" CreationDate="2014-06-06T16:49:05.557" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the hardest things for me to learn when my son was your daughter's age was &quot;be less helpful.&quot; He didn't have too much need to crawl because he'd reach for things outside his grasp and we'd get them for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, he simply was not much of a crawler, ever. He was pulling himself up on things and traveling before average but didn't &quot;army crawl.&quot; He started doing a weird one-leg upright crawl-walk to get around - he'd just scoot himself forward on his butt that way, and get anywhere he wanted. Then one day he just boom, started walking. Every once in a rare while for the three months following that he'd actually properly crawl, but never before he walked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shrug&lt;/strong&gt;. Some kids are like that. Maybe yours will be. The only thing I wish I'd done different, looking back, (and I don't know that it mattered) would have been to make him spend more time developing his muscles by thrashing around on tummy time. It's nice of they enjoy or don't loathe it, but I think sometimes you just have to let them get frustrated enough to make the effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T16:49:05.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12541" CreationDate="2014-06-06T17:55:31.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crawling is a motor development skill that develops naturally on each child's own developmental time table. Barring any severe physical or neurological disabilities, there is no need whatsoever to &quot;teach&quot; or &quot;encourage&quot; a child to crawl. Other than giving them ample safe space in which to explore, respect their stage of development (whatever that is), and sit back and observe!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7963" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-07T02:02:42.103" LastActivityDate="2014-06-07T02:02:42.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12903" CreationDate="2014-06-06T18:16:38.507" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is hard to say what the root cause is (and &lt;strong&gt;without an opinion of qualified medical professional, I would NOT recommend that you rely on Internet Random Opinion on how safe it is for your kid to get so little sleep&lt;/strong&gt;. Personally, I would check with his pediatrician but if it lasted for months/years with no obvious ill effects, that doesn't seem like emergency. I'm not a doctor and don't play one on TV!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you feel (as it seems) that he's too distracted to sleep, perhaps removing the disractions may help a bit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No toys in the room overnight.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No light on overnight (except maybe a very weak nightlight for safety if you feel it's needed). Kill the fuse if you need to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No parental presence after a preset small limit (5-30 mins bedtime reading or non-exciting story... although my kids liked Star Wars at the age of 3 so who am I to judge excitingness?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No noise from him (with punishments if you hear any). If he doesn't care about his sleep, explain that it interrupts YOUR sleep. At that age he's old enough to NOT want to hurt parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he is concerned to sleep alone, make sure you have baby monitor and make sure he knows (and demonstrate) that you hear him and will come if he REALLY needs you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;With our kids, the sleeping toys were a leverage. &quot;Fall asleep in the next 10 mins and you can sleep with &lt;em&gt;$favorite_toy&lt;/em&gt;. If not, in 10 mins the toy sleeps with me!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, check if there are specific circumstances where he sleeps better or worse? White noise? absolute silence? soft music? No food 1 hr before sleep? Glass of milk before sleep (that is a popular folk remedy to help sleep, betwetting concerns nonwithstanding).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T18:16:38.507" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12908" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-06T19:10:32.450" Score="7" ViewCount="4697" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hey everyone I have a huge issue I need to talk about..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 12 year old daughter has been going around having sex with MULTIPLE guys 8 to 10 years older than her and has gotten a STD. I'm worried she might be pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7966" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-06-06T19:15:32.740" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T22:14:56.920" Title="My daughter is having sex with guys 10 years older than her; what do I do?" Tags="|pre-teen|sex|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2018-05-13T18:49:47.190" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12908" CreationDate="2014-06-06T19:48:38.213" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Call the police.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call child protective social services.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people may be confused about how the chold is getting access to these men.  A ten year old child is not within eyesight all day.  The parents may be as protective as they can be but they are no there all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grooming creates a psychologically very strong bond between the abuser and the victim.  Sometimes people do not feel they are the victim of abuse.  Sometimes it's hard to get police or child protective services involved - they may say things like &amp;quot;It's just bad parenting&amp;quot;; &amp;quot;the child is a willing child prostitute and there's nothing we can do&amp;quot;.  Attitudes like that are not acceptable.  Parents want to protect their children from harm and they may need to push to get help.  I include links from recent notorious cases in the UK where young girls told police and other services that they were being drugged and raped and the police and other services did nothing to protect those children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Caution: these links contain descriptions of violent sexual attacks on young people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-25659042&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-25659042&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-25450512&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-25450512&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;We have to remember that in most of those cases, the girls themselves did not regard themselves has victims and were not willing to make complaints and that is still the situation now,&amp;quot; he said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One father called Children's Social Care (CSC) up to 50 times, reporting his daughter's &amp;quot;uncontrollable drinking, running away and difficult behaviour&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Social workers told him she was &amp;quot;a child prostitute&amp;quot;, and he accepted this &amp;quot;because he did not know that it was wrong&amp;quot;, the review said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that this grooming is AFK (away from keyboard) - it happens in real life situations where young people play and gather.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-06-07T10:48:45.043" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12890" CreationDate="2014-06-06T20:04:15.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This kind of fixation is very common during puberty, when the developing  brain is bathed in a flood of new hormones that cause dramatic cognitive and somatic changes. Disorders occur when we fail to grow past these fixations, independent of sexual orientation and instead remain frozen in a developmental stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best solution I ever saw for this looks like the following: Talk to the parent of the other girl, and arrange a safe and non-intrusive play time for your daughter, the girl, and some mellow friends to round out a small group. It can be in some appropriate social context such as a sports activity, or a tea party or whatever the heck is most natural in your local context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we see people as people we can grow past the fixation and realize that the other person is just a person too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You daughter can move on from this through the hurt of rejection, or she can learn to express her feelings in a safe manner and experience the company of another person who also feels safe in the circumstance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7967" LastActivityDate="2014-06-06T20:04:15.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12256" CreationDate="2014-06-06T21:59:55.203" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Back when I was a kid, we had to do lines and lots of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Write out by hand 500 times (at 26 lines or so per page double spaced, this is around 20 pages):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I will not use bad language when online or anywhere else&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not painful, it's not physical, but it's intensely boring, and after doing that he won't want to repeat the lines again for quite a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until the lines are done, no going out, no sports, no T.V., no online anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, we cheated a bit by going vertically. Is then wills etc. but the message did get through, and the teachers knew it, but didn't complain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they do it again, simply repeat the punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, who knows, his handwriting might improve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7968" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-07T02:13:12.633" LastActivityDate="2014-06-07T02:13:12.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12912" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-06T22:43:02.767" Score="6" ViewCount="3157" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't had to experience this situation, but a story made me wonder what I should do in the event that someone swallows a lot of chemicals- enough to potentially be lethal, maybe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A specific example:&#xA;Someone swallows several bottles of pills. I find them and they tell me what they did, or their actions are readily apparent- somehow I know what they've done. Should I call poison control first or 911? Should I just try to get to the ER with them as fast as possible?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7970" LastEditorUserId="6535" LastEditDate="2014-06-07T05:12:41.107" LastActivityDate="2015-01-30T03:35:10.630" Title="In case of swallowed medicine, call poison control or 911?" Tags="|health|medicine|drugs|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12912" CreationDate="2014-06-07T01:34:04.503" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;How you should react will depend on what your child has gotten into and how they are currently acting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, lets clarify what each option will get you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Poison Control (U.S.: &lt;strong&gt;1-800-222-1222&lt;/strong&gt;)&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.poison.org/actFast/calling.asp&quot;&gt;This URL&lt;/a&gt; for information about who you will be talking to (medical experts in toxicology), what information they will ask you, etc.  The Poison Control Center is a hotline staffed by specialists and are registered nurses or pharmacists at the least.  Based on the information you provide, they will be able to tell you whether or not you need to worry, what symptoms to keep an eye out for, and if necessary, treatment (for example, whether or not to induce vomiting).  They may tell you that you need to go to a hospital, or they may tell you that everything's fine and you can take care of it at home (or not even worry about it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Emergency Services (U.S.: &lt;strong&gt;911&lt;/strong&gt;)&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emergency Services is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; staffed by medical specialists.  While they may have some basic knowledge of first aid and such, they will not be as knowledgeable or helpful as calling Poison Control.  That said, emergency services will be able to dispatch an ambulance to your location, which may be necessary depending on the circumstances (bear in mind, depending on distance to the hospital, availability of an ambulance, and other factors, waiting on an ambulance &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be slower than driving to the hospital yourself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if you know that they have definitely ingested a poisonous substance and are exhibiting strong symptoms, you may wish to just jump in the car and rush to the ER.  During the drive, you can have your partner or someone else call Poison Control for suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are unsure if they have ingested the poisonous substance or are unsure if it's necessarily dangerous, call Poison Control immediately.  They are very helpful and will be able to tell you what to do (they may tell you to immediately go to the ER or call 911).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you know that they have ingested a poisonous substance and are unable to drive to the hospital for any reason, or are not near your vehicle, or there is some other obstacle to prevent you from quickly making your way to the hospital yourself, you may wish to call 911 (again, assuming they're exhibiting strong symptoms or you know what they got into and what the effects are).  If possible, you can have one person call 911 while another calls Poison Control to cover your bases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/strong&gt;  I am not a doctor, nor do I work for emergency services.  The above is meant to inform to the best of my knowledge, but follow your own judgment in an emergency.  When you call 911 or Poison Control, they will be able to help you to figure out what to do.  &lt;strong&gt;The most important thing to do in any emergency is keep calm&lt;/strong&gt; - the last thing you want to do is cause even more problems by freaking out and getting in a car crash on your way to the hospital or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6535" LastEditorUserId="6535" LastEditDate="2014-06-08T10:06:30.890" LastActivityDate="2014-06-08T10:06:30.890" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12890" CreationDate="2014-06-07T02:09:53.713" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few issues you have identified:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She has some homosexual feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She is exhibiting what you identify as an unhealthy obsession over another person.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She is on antidepressants.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She is in therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She has stopped going to school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because all of those items are in one question, the natural presumption is that they are all related. From my personal experience as a gay, bipolar, ADHD person, I rather doubt everything in your question is related, but that's for your therapist to be the authority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking a step back, each issue has its own items to inspect:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Having homosexual feelings isn't always the most devastating thing in someone's life. Because of social stigma's, lack of societal support in many areas, a lack of knowledge about homosexuality, and other factors, the &quot;coming out&quot; stage varies in difficulty significantly.  It is also well accepted in the &quot;gay community&quot; and amongst many others that sexuality is on a range from completely heterosexual to completely homosexual, with very few falling at the extremes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many communities have support groups for teens identifying as homosexual and those who support them.  If your area has such a group, it may be very helpful as she will then be able to spend time with &quot;others like her&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;An unhealthy obsession over another person (regardless of gender) is something many people have to work through -- whether over a celebrity or the hottie at school.  It is important to work with your therapist to help your daughter establish healthy, balanced relationships with other people.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I will not address the antidepressants as there's only one way she's getting them and that's through the psychiatrist prescribing them, so it appears to be being addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The other posts have discussed supporting her and working with her therapist.  I will only add to be sure that she has confidence in her therapist (i.e. she relates with him/her and &lt;em&gt;feels&lt;/em&gt; that the therapist relates with her.)  Without a trust bond between patient and therapist it is unlikely the therapy will prove therapeutic to the degree desired.  There are many doctors, so find the one which will help her most effectively (if you haven't already).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not going to school is, perhaps, one of the more challenging, immediate components of your question... she is most likely in fear of ostracization and bullying.  Alternative options likely exist: a different, somewhat-nearby school? home schooling?  Chatting with the school principal could be quite helpful in resolving this.  A change of venue is often helpful.  I do, however, recommend discussing this suggestion with her therapist first in case there are other aspects of your question not written above (and, well, even if you had... I'm not there to see and I'm by no mean a therapist!)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I notice which is distinctly missing from your question is what your daughter says/feels.  While everyone is recommending talking to her therapist (a good suggestion), talk with her, too. -- And by that, I mean to just listen... she has plenty to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you say that the issue isn't &quot;solved&quot; -- it will never be solved as it is not a math problem.  Your goal should be to find a resolution to what is ailing her so that she can live a healthy, productive, balanced life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, in that goal, I wish you both the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-06-07T02:09:53.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12849" CreationDate="2014-06-07T17:08:11.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/symptoms/watery-eyes/basics/causes/sym-20050821&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;the Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Infants&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In infants, the most common cause of persistent watery eyes is a blocked or incompletely opened tear duct. The tears may dry out and appear crusty, but not necessarily due to infection. Within a few months, most blocked tear ducts in infants resolve on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though as the comments have said, talk with your pediatrician about this as it could be an infection or other medical issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-06-07T17:08:11.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12917" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-07T19:46:47.443" Score="25" ViewCount="26366" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year old daughter plays on a soccer team. She loves soccer. She is not the best player and not the worst. She is however, the team crybaby. She finds some reason to cry every single game and practice. She fakes injuries, gets frustrated and cries in front of everyone when she doesn't score a goal, and is the first one to say, &quot;We're never going to beat the other team.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I always HATED that kid on my team, and now I'm that kid's mom. She does love to play and has fun when things are going her way. She's getting too old for this babyish behavior, and quite frankly, it is embarrassing when 10 other girls and their parents are staring at us because she's being a baby about missing a shot, or because she's too hot. I mean, who cries because they are too hot? No one else's kid does. I am not a negative parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tell always encourage her and always tell her when I'm proud of her. I don't say anything to her when she is acting like a baby. I just tell her very calmly to take a deep breath, take a look at the situation, and go from there...sometimes this works and she catches herself, most of the time she doesn't. In every other aspect of her life, she is pleasant, a team player, and a leader. Just not on the soccer field....any ideas on how to stop her from being the team crybaby and to stop being the negative Nellie on the field? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7976" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-23T03:26:07.200" LastActivityDate="2021-01-17T13:29:03.843" Title="My 7 year old daughter is the team cry baby...how do I help her stop?" Tags="|social-development|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="12918" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-07T21:35:49.113" Score="4" ViewCount="1472" Body="&lt;p&gt;{Asked on behalf of a friend}.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Situation: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;2 twin boys, 10-13 age range. Previously very closely academically matched and successul. Good relationship with each other all their life.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This year, one of them tested into an advanced academic program... but another one scored a couple of points higher and tested into &quot;more advanced&quot; one (meaning they would study separately, and the second one will study harder material). The program is for one subject only, not entire school curriculum.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The first one who scored lower took it very hard. From begging parents to figure out how to get him into &quot;more advanced&quot; track (he scored 93 out of required 97, so that's impossible); to even telling his brother that he should NOT attend the more advanced class and instead go to less advanced with him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be a good approach to handle that situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T19:44:51.340" Title="How to deal with one twin's success and another jealousy?" Tags="|twins|jealousy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12918" CreationDate="2014-06-08T00:03:34.570" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a perfect chance to teach them about variation. It's important to understand that your test scores will vary based on how you're feeling on that particular day; a 93 is only about 4% lower than a 97 and it's unlikely the test is really that sensitive. There may even be the possibility of retesting if the lower-scoring twin doesn't think they did their best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, in the end, they aren't able to be in this more advanced class together, it's time to understand that everyone has their own unique skill sets or aptitudes. Let them know that it's likely their twin will feel this way about something else at some point in the future too. It's natural to be competitive, but expect to lose at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, this could be a good opportunity to branch out, study with other people, and get used to being more independent. Just be supportive and don't make them feel bad for being jealous about this. No one likes to lose and competition can be particularly fierce between twins. It will probably blow over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2014-06-09T19:44:51.340" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T19:44:51.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8674" CreationDate="2014-06-08T02:56:48.957" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay well there is a lot going on here and I'm not really sure what the question is and how to approach this answer.  But I'll start off with the behavior she exhibits.  Given your example of a typical episode:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A typical episode as an example was yesterday when I asked her in a polite tone if she was almost ready to go out as the bus that we had to take to be on time for an appointment was due. The reply I got was &quot;no, I can't find my shoe, get in my room and find it noooooooowww !! I don't care if we miss the bus, it is a doctors appointment. Go make another.&quot; Then she slammed the bathroom door and locked herself inside until she knew the bus passed outside&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay see right there you can spot the problem.  I don't think the part you are getting is that by allowing that to happen and allowing that type of attitude and behavior occur, it just reinforces in her mind that she can do it again.  It doesn't seem as if you did anything to stop it.  As soon as the word &quot;No.....&quot; came out of her mouth, you need to step in and let her know that &quot;Actually NO you aren't going to speak to me like that&quot;.  So she got all the way through that, and even slammed the door, which you allowed to happen without incident.  Now she knows that slamming doors in her mothers face is okay.  Then you allowed her to stay in the bathroom with enough time for the bus to pass, and allowed her to play little games with you.   Whether you realize it or not, you allow these things to happen without incident and it just (in her mind) makes it okay to do again.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But according to you (in your mind):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;but no matter what the reason, I will not have doors slammed in my face, objects thrown at me, or accept a child screaming at me and ordering me around and showing no respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually you do have these things happen to you.  In your mind your thinking those words but you should of actually wrote &quot;I do not want doors slammed on me, objects thrown at me, etc etc&quot;.  She probably was getting away with these type of behavior for years with you, but on a more managable level because she was younger.  Quite frankly it seems to me she is completely taking advantage of your levelheadedness  and even temper.  You seem like the type of person that doesn't like confrontation and will try to avoid it if you can.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See things like this are more than what you describe. It's a result of everyday interaction.  Take the example of Jessica a mother of a 10 year old daughter named Katie (I'm making these two people up).  Jessica comes home from work really tired and sees her daughter Katie on Facebook instead of doing her homework.  This happens every god damn day it seems. Jessica is sick of dealing with it as Katie never seems to listen.  Katie looks up and sees her mother looking at her.  Katie goes &quot;WHAT? I'll get off when I'm done, okay?&quot;.  Jessica is tired and goes &quot;I want you off in 20 mins&quot; and walks away.  Now right there Jessica may seem like she won, she gave her a time limit and feels like she put her foot down. But did she? NO!  As soon as the word &quot;WHAT?....&quot; came out of her mouth, she should of let her know &quot;YOU DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT&quot;.  That isn't an acceptable form of behavior to expect from someone like your child.  But it's commonplace in America today.  And it becomes the norm, especially in single parent relationships such as yours because there is no father around to fall back on.  In this case Jessica has already slowly over time become accustomed to this lack of respect and backtalk and doesn't feel it's worth the fight anymore to even say anything about it.   I feel you may able to relate to this a little bit if you understand what I mean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think another problem is the whole dad situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Now he moved and lives 10 minutes away, and since he moved and she goes there everyday after school to see him she has become so much worse. Yet to him she won't say a word in backchat. He asks her to do something, she does it; she is angry with him, she won't tell him... she screams at me instead&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay well without hearing his side of the story, this right here tells me a lot.  What does it tell you if she better behaves with them than with you? This may or may not be true it's only your perspective and your side of the entire story at that.  But for the sake of this comment let's say it is true.  Doesn't that tell you something right there if she is better behaved with him? Maybe he is doing something right. Maybe you should ask him for advice rather than us.  If you two simply don't get along and aren't willing to put away your differences for the sake of your daughter, then I guess that isn't an option.  But I get a sense that you are very level headed and probably a nice woman.  He probably doesn't take any shit.  She might love you both the same but she may actually respect him more because she disciplines her more effectively than you? Again not trying to be judgmental I'm just trying to help you and figure this out with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See traditionally in families where you had a mom, dad, and kids, the mother did mostly all of the parenting.  The dads had very little to do with it, not much at all really, especially with daughters.  But the one part where Dad was always known to be is the discipline.  That was the one area where Dad stepped in and restored law and order to the chaos in families.  Whatever methods or means you or I may or may not agree with is neither here nor there.  But fact remains discipline was Dad's cup of tea and Mom handled all the other stuff.  It sounds to me like you are a wonderful Mom and do a lot of great things, but really the authoritarian discipline role isn't what your good at, and it's having its toll on you with a girl entering teen years.  You did not mention the two two children anything about their father. Where is he at and how is their relationship with him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly if you take anything away from this I'd ask you to reflect upon the type of behavior you had begun to accept over the years from her as acceptable behavior, and start to make a stance.  The minute she starts all this door slamming, then you take the door off the hinges with a screwdriver and now she has no door.  The minute she starts to say &quot;NO ....&quot; to you, put a bar of soap in her mouth.  She shouldn't take to you like that and do these things you're right. So you nip it in the ass right when it happens. I just hope you have it in you to take it to those lengths because I think that is the only thing that will stop it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, hang in there Mom!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7380" LastActivityDate="2014-06-08T02:56:48.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12912" CreationDate="2014-06-08T05:05:18.580" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://poisonhelp.hrsa.gov/&quot;&gt;the US Dept. of Health and Human Services Poison Help website&lt;/a&gt; and the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/first-aid/first-aid-poisoning/basics/art-20056657&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;, you should first call Poison Control, &lt;strong&gt;unless&lt;/strong&gt; the victim is unconscious, having trouble breathing, having seizures, or is &quot;uncontrollably restless or agitated&quot; (I assume this is meant to be a proxy for high adrenaline levels, and not meant to imply simply stressed out from being possibly poisoned).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is because often Poison Control can resolve cases of potential poisoning, and is a strictly better resource than 911 for triaging many cases (which is not staffed by medical professionals).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your example is on the more serious side, but it still is highly relevant what that bottle is.  If it's something you are certain needs immediate attention (sleeping pills for example) I would call 911 first and then call poison control - but if it's something you're not sure about, call Poison Control.  They'll answer right away, and the 15-30 seconds it takes to get your answer may be worth it in terms of advising the EMTs of the specific dangers of the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-08T05:05:18.580" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12917" CreationDate="2014-06-08T09:46:48.897" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe she really doesn't like playing soccer. Would the team be ok if she missed a month of practice? Then if she wants to start playing again the ground rule would be no tears. Maybe time away from the field could provide some emotional distance. I realize we are dealing with a 7 year old here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7980" LastActivityDate="2014-06-08T09:46:48.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12917" CreationDate="2014-06-08T09:50:45.983" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem here is finding a positive non-crying reinforcement strategy. Statements like &quot;other girls don't cry&quot; or &quot;don't humiliate yourself&quot; are unlikely to work, since they're rather negative. You have to make her want not to cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried a small bribery? Keep it positive, like &quot;if you are strong and brave the whole game I'll get you the football you've always wanted&quot;. Or you can start with ice-cream, or watching a good movie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try watching some games with her and pointing out (not too strongly, so that she doesn't realize what you're trying to do) players which have done something badly, like: &quot;this shot was absolutely terrible, he must feel really bad about himself; he does try harder though, see how fast he is running now?&quot;. You can also record a game and watch it (or at least check the score) and point out players which have made something really terribly, only to later show that they have scored a magnificent goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-06-08T09:50:45.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13924" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="13926" CreationDate="2014-06-08T11:00:15.457" Score="5" ViewCount="731" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5-month old is getting bigger, and she's starting to roll over, so it's time for us to switch from a bassinet to a full-sized crib. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone here recommend things to look for in a crib? Space is at a premium (the baby is in our room for now), and we'd like something with an adjustable height. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4798" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T04:50:14.257" Title="What should I look for in a crib?" Tags="|crib|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12903" CreationDate="2014-06-08T12:27:35.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's children that do not need more sleep than yours. They aren't many, and they certainly are a minority, but there are a few. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd have him checked out by a doctor to find whether there's an issue preventing him from sleeping, but if he is up and about in the morning and doesn't even nap during the day, you might be one of the unlucky parents blessed by such a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for practical advice, I think there might apply what applies to newborns (some of which also sleep very little throughout the nights): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;consider sleeping in shifts &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when your child sleeps, you always sleep, too &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try to recruit help from relatives (granny?) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it is very hard, try to look forward to when he is older, and the extra hours will be a blessing to him, because he can learn so much more in any given time than his peers. If you help him to become a curious kid interested in learning, he might turn out a genius. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2014-06-08T12:27:35.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13924" CreationDate="2014-06-08T18:29:47.810" Score="5" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Safety details&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Slats should not be more than 2 3/8 inches apart&lt;/strong&gt; -- infants' head scan slip through smaller spaces or get stuck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Safe corner posts: no higher than 1/16 of an inch&lt;/strong&gt; -- clothes can snag snagged on corner posts and strange the baby&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure it's sturdy&lt;/strong&gt; -- some cribs are poor quality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Decent wood finish (if it's wooden)&lt;/strong&gt; Generally, you are strongly advised NOT to buy an old used crib. If you do, 100% make sure the paint doesn't have lead in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The mattress should fit the frame&lt;/strong&gt; -- the crib interior should snugly accommodate a standard crib mattress, which is usually 51 3/4 inches long by 27 3/4 inches wide. If you can fit more than two fingers between the side of the mattress and the crib, the mattress is too small or the crib is too big.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid bells and whistles&lt;/strong&gt; -- you don't want any fancy or unfancy niceties. Bumpers. Streamers. Anything else that can pose danger to a baby. The more utilitarian and fewer details, the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Features to Look For&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Adjustable mattress height&lt;/strong&gt;: If the mattress is too high, you can't use it safely once the child starts to sit up (nevermind climb). If it's too low, you will be tired and miserable from putting your newborn baby in/out of the crib. Newborns don't need the depth and they do need to be handle horizontally and they need their heads supported.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Convertability&lt;/strong&gt;   Some cribs can be converted to toddler beds. That may not be worth the extra cost upfront as the final savings aren't that big, but that's more of a personal financial decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Drop side&lt;/strong&gt; -- This one is controversial. Some safety advice says to NOT have drop side as there are risks. Some say it's OK. My own personal experience - it's not very risky BUT our drop side was the first thing to break - not in a dangerous way, but just got stuck so opening it was a hassle (closing was easy so it wasn't a safety concern).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further reading: Crib Safety Tips from U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov/Media/Documents/Safety-Education/Safety-Guides/Babies-and-Kids/Crib-Safety-Tips/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;[1]&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov//PageFiles/118686/5030.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;[2]&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T22:51:54.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13924" CreationDate="2014-06-08T19:10:06.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think even the most basic of cribs have adjustable mattress height now. Given the size constraints, you might check Ikea's cribs. Most of their cribs also have the advantage not having a specific back - that is a side that should go against a wall - making it easier to find a spot for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-06-08T19:10:06.387" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13929" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-08T20:25:18.360" Score="16" ViewCount="5378" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a mother of a brilliant 18.5 year old young man who is obsessed with video gaming. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a habit that has existed since he was 13 years old and was exacerbated when his severe chronic cystic acne began. Academically he has always been a superstar, and just finished first year of college with a perfect 4.0 average in computer science and Electrical Engineering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Due to his Ap credits he will be finishing college in 3 years. The narrative above  is not intended for bragging purposes, but rather to give you a quick profile. Socially he has only one or two friends that he sees on a rare occasion, and all his other interest surround computers, in fact he has a an elite standing on this site. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is that the majority of his free time is spent in his room playing a cyber video game called &quot;Sauerbraten&quot;. On average he plays about 25 hours a week. I feel that he is addicted. This issue has adversely affected my relationship with him, as the acne has not resolved, part of me feels extremely bad, yet I know that this type of video gaming is not healthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been dismissed by therapists and even at times by my husband as everyone says that since he is doing so well in school,does not have a drug or alcohol problem I ought to leave him alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your advice and guidance is much appreciated, as I am finding myself in a very difficult place. Looking forward to insights and replies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7984" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-05-12T05:13:30.987" LastActivityDate="2017-05-12T05:13:30.987" Title="My teenager son is addicted to video games" Tags="|teen|video-games|addiction|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13929" CreationDate="2014-06-08T21:20:43.867" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, let's talk about addiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say that you feel he is addicted, largely because he plays 25 hours a week, you &quot;know that this type of video gaming is not healthy&quot;, and because it has adversely affected your relationship with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addiction, specifically in this case a behavioral addiction, is the continued repetition of a behavior despite adverse consequences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The essential feature of behavioral addictions is the failure to resist an impulse, drive, or temptation to perform an act that is harmful to the person or to others (4). Each behavioral addiction is characterized by a recurrent pattern of behavior that has this essential feature within a specific domain. The repetitive engagement in these behaviors ultimately interferes with functioning in other domains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3164585/&quot;&gt;Introduction to Behavioral Addictions&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The DSM5 describes &quot;Internet Gaming Disorder&quot; in the section on &quot;Conditions for Further Study&quot;.  It &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychcongress.com/blogs/chris-bojrab-md/internet-gaming-disorder-and-dsm-5&quot;&gt;defines the criteria as&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;preoccupation with such games&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;withdrawal symptoms of irritability, anxiety, or sadness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the development of tolerance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;unsuccessful attempts to control the behavior&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;loss of interest in other activities&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;continued excessive use despite knowledge of psychosocial problems&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;deceiving others regarding the amount of time spent gaming&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use of this behavior to escape or relieve a negative mood&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;jeopardizing/losing a significant relationship/job/educational opportunity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the categorization under &quot;Conditions for Further Study&quot; is because not enough information exists &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/Internet%20Gaming%20Disorder%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf&quot;&gt;to warrant inclusion as a formal disorder&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all honesty, nothing you've described, with the exception of the deterioration of his relationship with you, sounds like video gaming has done substantial harm to him, or that his interest level has gone beyond healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking at the criteria above, are there more signs that you've seen that are causing concern?  Has he decided to quit, and failed?  Has he agreed with you that his playing is harmful?  Does he show signs of mood changes, particularly when other activities prevent him from playing?  Does he lie to you and others about how much time he spends playing?  Has he lost friends because of gaming?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite playing games to a degree you find worrying for more than 5 years, he is doing excellently in college.  You say he plays, on average, about 25 hours a week.  That's actually not so much when compared to what some people who are playing video games to destructive levels average.  Some people play as much as 40 or more hours a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is still a lot, and I can understand your concern,  but if he's self-conscious about his looks, introverted,  and spending a lot of his time studying,  it may not be a warning sign in and by itself.  If, has been suggested in comments, a significant portion of his time spent on video games has been involved in working with the &lt;em&gt;design&lt;/em&gt; of the game, via mods or changes to the open source code, you may actually want to look at at least &lt;strong&gt;some&lt;/strong&gt; of that time as homework, rather than play, especially given his area of studies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that there is a lot of socialization that can occur in online games.  He may have more friends online than you may be aware of, and while the idea of &quot;online friends&quot; may seem foreign to you, many people today are finding engagement in online communities to be a socially acceptable compliment to other social activities.  If he's self-conscious about his medical condition, and generally an introvert, online socialization may be a very appealing alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all honesty, if you've discussed this with therapists, and your husband, and no one except you feels that this is a problem, you need to honestly ask yourself: is the problem the video game's impact on your son, or is it your belief that video games are &quot;harmful&quot;, which, in turn, is causing you to criticize your son's behavior to the point that it is harming your relationship with him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addictive behavior is rarely subtle.  The fact that your husband does not seem to share your concerns, nor professional therapists, is not pointing to this being a problem on your son's end, especially considering his academic performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest the first thing you should do is talk to your son, and ask him why he plays so much.  What does he get out of it?  Why does he enjoy it?  Does he have friends online?  Is he playing, designing, or both?  If both, how much time on it does &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; consider &quot; work&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Open communication will be a great starting point for determining where to proceed next.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-06-10T17:27:02.527" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T17:27:02.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13931" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-08T22:20:37.053" Score="9" ViewCount="616" Body="&lt;p&gt;The stereotypical way to teach the kids about sex is to have the stereotypically dreaded &quot;the birds and the bees&quot; &quot;THE talk&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would it instead be more preferable (and why) to NOT have a single serious talk at a specific age, and instead simply sprinkle appropriate information into everyday conversation with children as they grow up, both as things come up (they ask a question or something is discussed that can segue into whatever info you wanted to impart), or simply because you feel the child is ready for the next bit of info. The important part is that there's a steady stream of small bits of information, as opposed to one big lecture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-06T19:07:07.250" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T19:07:07.250" Title="Is it preferable to have &quot;sex talks&quot; vs &quot;all the time education&quot;?" Tags="|sex-education|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13931" CreationDate="2014-06-09T00:20:58.923" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sex is part of life. Hiding it away until any specific age is unlikely to lead where you want to go. Better to make it part of life. Our kids were raised on David Attenborough's TV shows, so animal reproduction was always part of their background knowledge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is an R.N., so she discussed human reproduction in age-appropriate ways whenever the subject came up naturally, like when a teacher at school was pregnant. The American Girl series &lt;a href=&quot;http://store.americangirl.com/agshop/html/item/id/217531/uid/137&quot;&gt;The Care and Keeping of You&lt;/a&gt; &#xA;was useful as a basic primer for us, giving us an idea what a researched presentation could include as well as a reference for our girls to refer to if they didn't quite know how to ask us something or were embarrassed to ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-06-10T00:05:49.543" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T00:05:49.543" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12912" CreationDate="2014-06-09T00:39:13.253" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;911 will get you help faster, Poison Control will get you accurate information faster. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say it depends on what the medication is, how much, and how the victim is acting. If my wife and I were both home, we'd call both at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T00:39:13.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4098" CreationDate="2014-06-09T00:49:47.497" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure drinks are done an hour before bedtime and the toilet gets used every night, last thing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a waterproof mattress pad and extra sheets, and change them when you need to. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's important that you don't dump a bucket of shame on the kid. She's not doing it on purpose.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to laugh. This too shall pass.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2015-01-09T04:00:53.113" LastActivityDate="2015-01-09T04:00:53.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12917" CreationDate="2014-06-09T01:08:58.480" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Subtlety is called for. Telling her to stop won't work, trying to get her to think in the heat of an emotional moment won't work. She needs to be in a different emotional state out on the field, and that's going to take something different, something positive to focus on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter's coach has different goals each week, things other than scoring, like touches on the ball. Perhaps you could count touches one week, then reward her with frozen yogurt if she can meet or beat her previous record. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-06-09T01:57:37.053" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T01:57:37.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13929" CreationDate="2014-06-09T10:13:53.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm gonna tell you about my experience, not as a parent but as a teenager who spent a lot of time playing video games. Hope you'll find it helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During high school I spent most of my free time playing video games. And that was way more than 25h a week. Actually I could play more than that in a week-end. I don't think I was addicted, since when I had other things to do (holidays or whatever) I could stay away from a keyboard and not miss video games for a week. I just really enjoyed it and didn't have another hobby. I didn't have so many friends and wasn't particularly into hanging out with people or partying at the time. So I played video games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't that bad though. It made me interact with people, discuss topics I was really interested in. I learnt to speak English mostly by playing and chatting with players from other countries. And all that stopped when I made a lot of friends in college and spent a lot of time with them. My time playing video games became less and less important, until I didn't think about it at all anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my advice is this : don't worry too much. As long as his passion doesn't affect his college education, let him enjoy it. It might end naturally sooner than you think. And if it doesn't, if that's the way he is happy, well so be it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="8995" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T10:13:53.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13929" CreationDate="2014-06-09T13:19:43.010" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an avid gamer and software developer, I have never heard of a game called &quot;Sauerbraten.&quot; I looked it up and apparently it is a first person shooter named after a German pot roast. It isn't a widely popular game created by a major video game company. It is an open-source community-made game. It also doesn't appear to be a very &quot;good&quot; game. Something else is attracting your son to it. It could be that he has made several friends while playing it and enjoys spending time with them. I think more likely, judging by your son's field of study, it is quite possible he may be involved in the development of the game. He may be involved with the development of the open-source game engine or in the map-making and modding community. Either way it is a great start to a career in software engineering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the verbage in your question it seems that you know very little of video gaming. I would suggest that you simply need to take interest in what your son is playing and find out why he enjoys it so much. Not only will your relationship improve but you might even realize that his hobby isn't as harmful as you think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please keep in mind that video gaming is a perfectly legitimate hobby and should be respected as any other hobby would be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="8998" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T13:19:43.010" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13929" CreationDate="2014-06-09T13:24:59.793" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a 23 year old son, that also play 25h/week, i must ask you: have you tried to invite him to do something together? like bowling, or anything that he likes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask you this, because i usually play games if im bored (understand that there are only few things that i really think that is interesting..), so, whenever my mom/dad ask me to go to a place that i like, i accept :D, and we spend time together having fun! You should try this, and let me know if it worked =D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="8999" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T13:24:59.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12917" CreationDate="2014-06-09T14:17:26.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have had a simular problem with my son, not so much crying but angry outbursts. I think they came from being frustrated at something and not knowing how to change it. He used to get really angry at losing, which isn't a bad thing in itself IMO, but I managed to redirect his frustrations into trying to improve so that he doesn't lose next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if your daughter is crying about something try telling her that if she is upset crying will not change or fix whatever is upsetting her. Tell her she needs to take action for herself to change her situation, but you can help if requested, and try to give her examples where she or other people have done so in the past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T14:17:26.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13944" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-09T14:52:15.043" Score="2" ViewCount="345" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child (6), before she learned reading for real, had a habit of &quot;reading&quot; things like toy instructions, or promotional fliers, etc... - we joked that she learned to read from my T-shirts :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What puzzles me is that now, several years later, when she's a fluent and voracious reader and reading books above her grade level with ease, she STILL keeps several of these &lt;em&gt;faux&lt;/em&gt; reading things in her room and once in a while &quot;reads&quot; them as a game (they are clearly NOT a source of information - she'd use the same ones for months before I throw them out as too dirty and she gets new ones).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First guess would have been that this is emulating a parent reading a newspaper - BUT we don't have any paper newspapers/magazines in the house, only electronic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When questioned as to why she does this, she doesn't have any coherent explanation aside from &quot;it's fun&quot;. Which is good enough for me but still leaves me with a giant &quot;WHY!?!?!&quot; in my head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, why would a child exibit such a peculiar behavior? When I recall myself at that age, I never &quot;pretended&quot; to read like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T19:33:55.987" Title="What would be a reason for a child with good reading skills to &quot;pretend-read&quot; stuff?" Tags="|reading|play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13945" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-09T15:39:18.670" Score="4" ViewCount="211" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is getting excited to be playing games with my wife and I. My issue lies in the fact that growing up (some time ago) I wasn't allowed to play games very often. Things change and I get that, so my core question is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What games should I be introducing her to?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you introduce a five year old to gaming?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9004" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T15:44:21.103" Title="Gaming for Kids" Tags="|video-games|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-12-07T11:04:39.317" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13945" CreationDate="2014-06-09T15:44:21.103" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent, you should pay attention to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_game_content_rating_system&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ratings given to each game&lt;/a&gt;.  The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.esrb.org/index-js.jsp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ESRB&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pegi.info/en/index/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;PEGI&lt;/a&gt; are probably the best known.  I do not know PEGI well, but I know the ESRB allows you to search by game name and you can see detailed descriptions explaining why that games has that rating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4585" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T15:44:21.103" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6232" CreationDate="2014-06-09T15:56:52.490" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When it comes to video games, the main point to keep in mind is that they are not a baby sitter. Just like with artistic expression or physical sports, the important thing is keep engaged with them. If you don't enjoy the games themselves, just listen to the child. If they are having a hard time with a particular spot, just be there for moral support. All a video game is at that age is a toy as any other. It wont cause any more harm or help any more than watching TV or a movie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9004" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-09T17:00:15.523" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T17:00:15.523" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7750" CreationDate="2014-06-09T16:09:46.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've found that giving the kids a 5 and 2 minute warning whenever the activity is changing helps make the transition much smoother. Doesn't matter if we are talking about swimming, playing outside, games or any number of other activities they just seem to be able to let go much easier when they know the change is imminent.  For TV, we either allow them to watch a single episode or a single movie depending on what's going on and how much time we have.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately I think this is about building respect.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I respect them enough to let them know ahead of time when a change is coming and to allow them enough time to have a sense of completion for the activity.  After all, I wouldn't want to be in the middle of something and have my wife rush in and say &quot;stop doing that now, you must do this instead!&quot;  That just wouldn't fly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously you can't always do this.  Sometimes you simply have to drop everything and go now.  We've found that when we normally warn them, then making a fast transition goes much easier when it's necessary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When picking the amount of time for an activity, pay attention to what they are doing. For example, if it normally takes 45 minutes to complete a level in a game, then perhaps that is a better amount of time to allow than an arbitrary 30 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9005" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T16:09:46.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13944" CreationDate="2014-06-09T16:24:15.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As kids advance sometimes they will go back to previous behaviors because they are comfortable and make them feel good.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9005" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T16:24:15.730" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6262" CreationDate="2014-06-09T16:27:23.803" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;H,&#xA;I have a very similar situation an 8 year old diagnosed as ADHD and a 5 year old with speech delay.&#xA;We decided to NOT medicate our 8 year old and remove absolutely every artificial food colouring from his diet.&#xA;We used to punished and remove privileges to the 8 years old and be very patient and giving to the 5 year old. The 5 year old will come and ask for something with a big smile and great manners, right after that his older brother (8 year old) will come and ask for something similar in a complete opposite manner. Rude manners and a very aggressive way, of course we would say NO to the 8 year old. &#xA;We went to therapy and the therapist (which is a great one) suggested to revert the attention, and ONLY note the positive attention to the 8 year old and disregard and invalidate the negative attention. We were skeptical at the beginning, but after a few days noticed the difference it made on our 8 year old boy.&#xA;To sum-up note all positive and disregard negative. It is quite hard, specially when the older brother is being rude and annoying, bu on the long term it works. As someone else posted you have to be VERY patient, centered and consistent. &#xA;Hope this helps, it helped us a lot. &#xA;There are days that even these will not work, but it is a learning curve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy your children they are the most amazing miracle of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9009" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T16:27:23.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13952" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-09T16:29:11.933" Score="6" ViewCount="820" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you allow a child the freedom to fail and make mistakes while ensuring that they are learning from it. Just because a child refuses to conform does not make him/her a loser/problem/etc. Just because they are doing well now does not mean they will be like that for ever. You will never know when some one could blossom into a butterfly or have a humbling fall from grace. I don’t want to be a helicopter parent, but I also don’t want to be reckless and harm my child’s life and/or wash my hands of what is definitely my responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example 1: Suppose they are hanging out with the wrong crowd. Maybe this will teach them a good lesson in life because you never know when someone will come across a character who may have malicious intentions. Learning to deal with such people should be part of life. At the&#xA;same time, I don’t want my kid to turn into a criminal, getting sucked into something into/witness acts of criminality. I want my kid to know when to draw the line and I would encourage them to have diverse friends from diverse backgrounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example 2: Just because a child does not do well in studies does not mean they can't succeed (in the eyes of the society) at a later point in time. But I don’t want to ignore not doing well in studies because that might be a sign of delinquency and/or lead to criminal behavior. ( I am not saying that there are no educated criminals .. but you should get the idea).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My questions are :&#xA;Is there a good heuristic/rule of thumb I can use to ensure that my child is not becoming a delinquent/threat to society and maybe lean on being somewhat productive in the eyes of society? I don’t mean that as an act of external validation, but we are social creatures and people's opinion of you matters to a certain degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I ensure that my love/affection for the child is not letting me see the reality of what they are becoming in case it is something problematic?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Preferably I would want to train my child (because that is my job) to be a self educated person who can handle the stress and surprises life has to offer and that means learning to deal with both success and failure, learning to deal with happiness and sadness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would prefer some scientific literature or books/resources based on such literature that doesn't put meaning into every single act/incident and/or overly blames/praises either the child/parent for what they have/will become.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is only so much you can do after all right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9010" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-09T16:56:30.633" LastActivityDate="2017-06-29T07:52:21.250" Title="Non-judgmental all round parenting of a child: Any resources?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13944" CreationDate="2014-06-09T19:33:55.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't seem that peculiar to me.  My friend's 5 year old daughter loves &quot;reading&quot; from adult books (i.e. turning the pages while telling stories about princesses and mermaids).  It's fun to make up stories, and &quot;reading&quot; them just gives the imaginative play some context.  Can't that be it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7886" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T19:33:55.987" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12851" CreationDate="2014-06-09T19:54:44.570" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's fairly normal for babies to try to bite hair but they should not be allowed to swallow it. This can actually lead to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichobezoar&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;trichobezoar/hairball&lt;/a&gt; that forms in the digestive tract and may require surgery. From &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichobezoar#Clinical_significance&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A trichobezoar is a bezoar (a mass found trapped in the gastrointestinal system) formed from the ingestion of hair. Trichobezoars are often associated with trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling), are rare,[2] and can be fatal if undetected.[3][4][5][6] Surgical intervention is often required.[3][7]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further reading:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pullfreeatlast.com/child-hair-pulling/swallowing.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Eating Hair Could Lead to Emergency Surgery&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/Hair-Pulling-and-eating/show/277926&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hair Pulling and Eating - MedHelp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2014-06-09T19:54:44.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13952" CreationDate="2014-06-09T21:04:43.820" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally, you get good judgment from experience, and you get experience from bad judgment. So you want to let your child make lots of &lt;strong&gt;small&lt;/strong&gt; decisions, and see the consequences of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't feel like doing that homework? The school may impose a consequence on you, such as staying in at recess to do it. I am not going to step in to prevent that consequence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stayed up really late video gaming? You are going to be very tired at 6am tomorrow. I am going to get you up anyway. And if I can't get you up, you are going to miss that event you wanted to go to. Or if it's school, you're going to get whatever the consequences are for an unexcused absence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ate all your Halloween candy in one binge, and now you have none while your friends still have some? Both your stomachache and your jealousy of the friends' stashes come from the same decision.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, because I'm not a cruel person, I warn kids about the consequences that might come with some of their decisions. But if they make the decision anyway, I don't shelter them. This works great as long as the consequences are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pretty much immediate. The next day, perhaps the next week, no longer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;small enough that they cause no permanent damage&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;easily connected directly to the decision (which is more likely if the possible consequences of the decision were discussed when it was made)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we're heading out somewhere and you don't want to wear your coat? That's cool. (Or even downright cold, perhaps.) When you feel cold and you regret not having the coat, we'll talk about predicting what will happen when you make certain choices. Then we'll go home early, because you're cold, or maybe I made you &lt;strong&gt;bring&lt;/strong&gt; your coat even though I didn't make you &lt;strong&gt;wear&lt;/strong&gt; it and you can learn from that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to hanging around with a bad crowd and that sort of thing, the consequences are nebulous and don't start to kick in for a long time. That makes them very hard to learn from. And some of them (getting arrested or convicted, getting shot in a gang war, becoming addicted to controlled substances) will very definitely cause permanent damages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So ideally your child would have had lots of lots of opportunities to make good decisions long before the &quot;bad crowd&quot; problem started. And some bad ones too, to learn from. About all you can do once you find yourself in this situation is give them more and more opportunities to gain that good judgment you want them to learn. And keep on closing the loop for them: when you get that grumpy complaining at 6am about how tired they are, you want to remind them that this was discussed last night. (Both I-told-you-so and mocking humor are wrong here, but something gentle like &quot;I know. I was worried you would feel like this in the morning. It's unpleasant, I know&quot; gets it across. You might even add &quot;I hope you remember this feeling when you're deciding whether or not to keep playing, some other night.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, for a child over about 12, you can discuss their friends' problems a little bit. Not in a way that invites them to break confidences, of course. But kids tell you that X was suspended or B has broken up with D or Z was in a fight or Y is butting heads with the coach and was benched or even that A was arrested. You can talk about the circumstances that led up to it. You can play &quot;what could have been done earlier&quot; with those circumstances. I used to tell my kids all the time &quot;&lt;em&gt;the only thing better than learning from your mistakes is learning from somebody else's&lt;/em&gt;&quot; and it's true. You can do this as young as 4 but you run the risk the child will share the lesson with the friend in a way that makes them feel bad (&quot;my mum says it's your own fault you can't be in the play because you are the one who forgets your gym shoes all the time&quot;) so wait until your child has learned some discretion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-06-10T12:01:30.980" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T12:01:30.980" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7902" CreationDate="2014-06-10T00:15:19.433" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I don't understand parents. YOU ARE IN CONTROL!  and as soon as you let your child think they have any say in the matter you are no longer in control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 3 year old needs to be TOLD what is going on. Not bargained with. Or distracted. Or positive reinforcement, at least not when throwing a tantrum. You are obliviously letting your child do this. Adults can run huge companies, start businesses and all sorts of intelligent things. But they can't control a 3 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need guidance and boundaries. Not to feel in control. It's obvious by their behavior that it doesn't work. And distraction... when in your life are you offered a distraction when presented with something you don't like?  It's never too early to start teaching them about life. In a child friendly way of course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone one these days wants to be philosophical and friends with their kids. Well look how that's turning out. Our kids need us to be their parents. We are the only ones they have. Read the bible. Proverbs. There is some good parenting advice in there. TRAIN UP A CHILD THE WAY THEY SHOULD GO AND WHEN THEY ARE OLD THEY WILL NOT STRAY FROM IT. PROVERBS 22:6&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9016" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-17T12:28:12.097" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T12:28:12.097" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13960" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="13972" CreationDate="2014-06-10T02:58:31.920" Score="5" ViewCount="368" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our almost-three year old has taken an interest in the pool, and I'm interested in techniques to teach him swimming fundamentals.  I saw &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/711/how-and-when-should-i-teach-my-children-how-to-swim&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;, which had some good tips, but I'm specifically interested in how &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; can teach some of these things effectively.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been working on things like kicking, lying on back, floating, etc., but not having a lot of luck because he doesn't really understand what we're trying to have him do.  When we ask him to kick, he does, but he kicks straight down, for example; even when we try to show him how to kick properly to propel himself he doesn't go anywhere. (He's in a Type V life jacket much of the time, as he is most comfortable like that, but we've done it without a life jacket.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What techniques are most effective at teaching swimming to a toddler/young preschooler?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T16:53:30.183" Title="Teaching a toddler swimming fundamentals" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|teaching|swimming|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4792" CreationDate="2014-06-10T06:33:50.473" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Leaving your child alone crying with the bedroom door shut is considered trauma, abandonment.&#xA;After working for years as a Mindfulness counselor with adults who were left unattended in childhood, I see much pain and many problems. As a result of being left alone, crying unattended as children, adult clients commonly complain of intense feelings of abandonment of being left alone with intense feelings as a child. Many of them spend years trying to heal and learning to reparent themselves. PLEASE do not leave your child alone when they are crying. Yes, they will learn to stop crying overtime, but that doesn't mean that their stress hormones have quieted down; it often means that they have learned that the adults in their lives will not come when they are needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9020" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T06:33:50.473" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13962" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14011" CreationDate="2014-06-10T10:13:45.813" Score="4" ViewCount="5079" Body="&lt;p&gt;During summer, the room in which our 3 month old daughter sleeps frequently stays at around 22C (~72F) which is higher than we'd ideally like it to be. We are also swaddling her using a Summer Infant SwaddleMe cotton wrap. How can we tell if she is overheating at night without disturbing her? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T00:11:54.833" Title="What are the signs that a baby is too hot?" Tags="|infant|temperatures|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13963" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14010" CreationDate="2014-06-10T11:58:00.260" Score="10" ViewCount="2188" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old niece (actually my cousin's daughter) is really quite spoiled. Her parents constantly bribe her to get her to do what they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We sometimes take vacations together.  On these vacations, she insists on specific rewards just for going out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I refuse to participate in this behavior, and we don't want to give her any presents. Yet if we don't, she demands a present, and then pitches a fit until her parents get her one instead. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're not thrilled about exposing my 3 year old son to this behavior, but it seems unlikely we'll be able to avoid it forever (and we don't want to cut that part of our family our of our lives; my cousin and his wife are actually quite nice).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we mitigate the girl's behavior, and it's impact on my son? Is there a way to turn this into a positive lesson for him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-06-11T00:08:20.323" LastActivityDate="2017-06-14T03:18:06.840" Title="How do you deal with a spoiled niece?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13965" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-10T12:16:10.567" Score="5" ViewCount="2097" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 17 year old son who is spends a lot of time programming his computer. He does not have a girlfriend, and seems to have no interest in getting one. He rarely goes outside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am worried that he will become socially isolated. I am worried that lack of social activity will lower his resiliance, and make mental health problems more likely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help him develop a social life? How can I prevent him becoming socially isolated? Is being a virgin at 17 something odd or unusual or something to be worried about?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9014" LastEditorUserId="45170" LastEditDate="2023-10-25T08:02:38.853" LastActivityDate="2023-10-25T08:02:38.853" Title="How can I help my son develop a social life? How can I prevent him becoming socially isolated?" Tags="|teen|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13965" CreationDate="2014-06-10T12:24:48.240" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will admit, I have been there and done that. Spent years of my youth stuck behind the screen gaming or programming. I eventually around 23 started getting out making friends and having a good time. It is not to late, if he is programming totally support it (I am sure you do) as if he can land a job doing something with it, that will help with his social skills. I did not get into programming professionally till I was 25 and I regret not pursuing it earlier. He could be 23 and easily making $80k a year if he sticks to it.. and with that kinda of money with no girlfriend or kids he can live a very social life then you will be coming back here &quot;Help my son is out of control he is blowing money like it grows on trees and is out constantly partying!!&quot;, lol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All jokes aside, I totally feel where you are coming from though, I am a &quot;social&quot; but anti-social kinda guy. I can survive in a crowd but my comfort is behind the keyboard. With these crazy times it may even be safer to have him stuck inside on the computer then out being social where all these crazy shootings are going on and idiots playing the &quot;knockout&quot; game. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a feeling if they had computers like this when I was a kid this post would have been from my dad as well. My best advise is especially if he is programming, support him, giving him some space and he may when ready hatch from the cocoon into something socially beautiful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;/rant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side Note:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also had a friend in high school who refused to leave home, refused to get a job doing anything a normal teen would do. He was very anti-social in a sense to the point I could only get him to hang out in his drive way. He would complain if I wanted to go somewhere, I would pay to take him to movies, and theme parks as he was my good friend and I wanted to get him out but he just wasn't into leaving the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, he is a graphics designer for 343 studio's and worked on halo 4, I am sure he is probably working on the newer one as well. He is very social, lives in Austin, TX has a bunch of friends I always see him posting things with them. He was a virgin until I'd say 25yr old if I remember. Unfortunately for him he found one, snatched it up and hasn't left since so he is missing out on all the wonderful fruit to try out there but he seems to live a happy life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get the concern, but speaking from experience.. I believe your son is going to be just fine. There are many benefits to not being exposed to the cruel world we live in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;//rant&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastEditorUserId="3393" LastEditDate="2014-06-10T14:53:51.510" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T14:53:51.510" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13967" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="13969" CreationDate="2014-06-10T12:57:49.433" Score="2" ViewCount="1672" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 25 and have lived with my mom alone for almost 20 years (my older brother brother moved out 8 years ago.) My mom always pampered me, didn't make me work summers, etc. At the local university, I didn't really do well with the freedom (though I lived at home, I didn't get all good grades.) I didn't tell her about the bad grades because I was afraid to. I have a hard time talking to my mom when she might disapprove.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I have a girlfriend who will soon be moving to another city and I would like to follow her. I've wanted to move out from home seriously now for about 2 years, but I'm pretty sure my mother won't take it well. Two weeks ago we quarreled when I went away on a 2 day trip with my girlfriend and didn't call her every day. She also expressed that she hopes I'm not intending to move away with my girlfriend. I just gave her an evasive answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a good relationship overall, but I want to live my own life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how to tell this to my mother. I know that she loves me, but I also know that she doesn't want to be alone (my brother lives in this town, so &quot;alone&quot; means in the house). I also am afraid that she will blame my girlfriend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should speak with her, but I really don't know how.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any good approaches to share when dealing with a parent who is afraid to be alone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9023" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T20:22:17.163" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T20:22:17.163" Title="How to approach mother about moving away from home?" Tags="|adult-child|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13968" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="13970" CreationDate="2014-06-10T13:02:54.377" Score="2" ViewCount="7382" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five year old daughter is having nightmares, but she cannot remember them. When we ask what they were about (both at the time she wakes us up or the next day) she says she can't remember then tells us a story that really doesn't have anything scary in it (her words not mine.) We are at a loss of how to help her with these nightmares if we don't know what is causing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9004" LastActivityDate="2016-06-01T21:47:28.053" Title="My daugher has Nightmares but can't remember them" Tags="|night-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13967" CreationDate="2014-06-10T13:29:59.963" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Negotiating boundaries in families can be very tricky. The first time you stand up for something you believe in against a parent who you know won't be happy about is difficult. Be comforted knowing that pretty much every adult you know got through it, and so will you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are an adult, and it is time for you to make this step. Choose your words ahead of time, practice them, and stick with them like a broken record that repeats and repeats. The &quot;trick&quot; is to stay calm, to not get drawn into arguments, and to keep repeating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start with a thank you, like: &quot;Mom, you have done a great job raising me, you saw me through university and I know that was tough. You have prepared me to be an adult, and I love you for it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then state your case: &quot;Now that I am an adult, I need to start taking charge of my life. Amy has taken a job in X City, and I have decided to go there with her for work.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your mother will likely have much to say on the subject, asking you how you are going to do this and do that, and you should calmly stick to your statement, that you are an adult, and it is time for you to take charge of your own life, you will figure it out, but you appreciate how much she cares. Repeat repeat repeat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a classic book on the subject of creating new boundaries in relationships called &lt;em&gt;The Dance of Anger&lt;/em&gt;. It was written back in the 80s and it is still consistently checked out at the library where I work. The author, Harriet Lerner, takes you through example after example of how this works, so that by the end of the book, you feel ready to try it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T13:29:59.963" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13968" CreationDate="2014-06-10T14:21:37.277" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may not actually be dealing with nightmares. You may be dealing with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000809.htm&quot;&gt;night terrors&lt;/a&gt;. From the NIH website (linked), night terrors are disturbed sleep, usually waking up in a terrified state. They are common from ages 3-7, usually in boys, but not uncommon in girls. The cause is unknown, but the site indicates that stress, emotional tension, fever, or lack of sleep may play a role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2218136/&quot;&gt;informational article&lt;/a&gt; in a Canadian family physician journal, night terrors are not harmful to the children having them. They often don't remember why they were so terrified. The article also attempts to reassure parents, indicating that they will pass over time. If these problems are occurring early on, only about 1-2 hours in to bedtime, this is most likely a good indicator you are dealing with night terrors. Night terrors aren't dreams, so they don't occur during REM sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think you could be dealing with this, try to observe when she has the nightmare. If she wakes up but it is still not all there, it is probably a night terror. If she wakes up and she is completely alert and talking to you, it is most likely a nightmare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are sure it is a nightmare and she is able to write, keep a notebook and a pen beside her bed. Ask her to write down what she was feeling, seeing, or dreaming immediately before she woke up. We often forget vivid details of dreams as we progress throughout the day so if a dream needs to be studied, dream journals come in handy. Try this with your daughter. Perhaps you can isolate the details of the nightmare and figure out 1, what they are about and 2, why they are occurring. Once you understand those two things, you can move on to conquering and eliminating that fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feferman, I. (1988). Night terrors in children. &lt;em&gt;Canadian Family Physician Médecin De Famille Canadien&lt;/em&gt;, 34 2685-2686.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T14:21:37.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13968" CreationDate="2014-06-10T15:22:48.827" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two schools of thought on nightmares. One is to talk through them to help calm the child, which you are trying to do, but the other is to avoid pushing her to remember them and instead work on the more holistic view - calming the child or removing the uncertainties/stresses/pressure that may be causing her to have nightmares in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes just altering the bedtime can help, or you can look at night lights, the sounds that she will hear while going to sleep etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you in an area where external noise may disturb her (trains or trucks, for example)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as Christopher pointed out, if she is not bothered by them at all, don't worry about them - you may just have to learn to ignore them until they stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T15:22:48.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13960" CreationDate="2014-06-10T16:53:30.183" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to teach swimming lessons, and I found the easiest way to teach a young child swimming was to compare it to things. Glides weren't &quot;front glides&quot;, they were &quot;rocket ship glides&quot;, and so we'd put on our space suits and the blast off. I'd tell them the jets went behind them so they'd figure out how to kick. Back glides are spiderman glides, because you shoot off the wall the same way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One massive tip is to not progress too quickly. In swimming, they need to know how to float in the proper position before they can kick in the proper position. Otherwise you'll get kids who try to do back glides by shoving their face under water because they looked back too far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he gets a bit better, you can get him to do things like kicking a flutterboard while he's on his stomach, or get him to go through things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've always found that PFD's will actually hinder a child kicking on their front. They can float on their backs and kick fine, but when they're on their fronts they'll stay mostly upright and it makes it difficult for them to kick properly. Just a tip!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9024" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T16:53:30.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13965" CreationDate="2014-06-10T19:52:46.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Being a virgin at 17 isn't all that freakish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average age Americans lose their virginities (defined here as vaginal sexual intercourse) is 17.1 for both men and women. The CDC also reports that virgins make up 12.3 percent of females and 14.3 percent of males aged 20 to 24. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=&amp;amp;esrc=s&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=3&amp;amp;cad=rja&amp;amp;uact=8&amp;amp;ved=0CCMQFjAC&amp;amp;url=http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/on-late-in-life-virginity-loss/284412/&amp;amp;ei=CGCXU9m1J8aXuASqlIHoAw&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNGzX_4nz8-Dpr0i2WL7sPAkh6E2GQ&amp;amp;sig2=eP_U7zdu-Mr8kXC5iQ9aeg&amp;amp;bvm=bv.68693194,d.c2E&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;src&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, definitely don't make him feel bad over it - among other reasons, thinking he's a freak for not having romantic partners is very likely contributing big deal to his social isolation in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, being socially isolated IS bad, because social skills are like any other skill - they have to be learned and practiced or you don't learn them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a personal example: I let the best woman I ever met slip through my fingers, because at the age I met her I was an awkward geek with no idea of how to ask a girl out and she intimidated me (the worst part - 10 years later, she admitted that SHE was into me, and let me slip through her fingers, because being an awkward geek, she didn't know how to tell me of her interest).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, the BEST thing you can do for your son is to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A. Be supportive. Encourage him to go out, once in a while (bribe him if needed - e.g. money for new computer parts for asking a girl out on a date and going).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But do it for the right reasons - NOT because he's a freak/loser for not doing so; but because it's needed for his long term goals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that social and romantic success don't just &lt;strong&gt;happen&lt;/strong&gt; - you need to work at it. It's a numbers game. You go out with tons of people to gain the skills and confidence to do it &amp;quot;right&amp;quot; - &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; you go out with tons of people before you can find out someone you mutually click with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B. Be brutally honest about LONG term consequences. Yes right now he doesn't care about being a socially isolated loner. When he at some point meets a girl of his dreams, does he REALLY want to spend the rest of his life biting his elbow because he let her slip through his fingers due to lack of social skills that he could have been practicing now on less-high-stakes interactions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;C. Talk to him on his level. If he's a nerd, let him read Nerd Fitness blog (aside from fitness, they also had great articles on leveling up one's social skills, including why it's important AND how to do this, all aimed at the people like him FROM people like him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In #3A (explaining that it's a skill that needs practice), for a geek/nerd who plays games, explain it in &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; language - it's grinding to raise a skill, like he would a charisma in a game :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2023-10-06T14:28:24.833" LastActivityDate="2023-10-06T14:28:24.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="13975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7750" CreationDate="2014-06-10T20:15:24.523" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You shouldn't worry about what your child &lt;em&gt;says&lt;/em&gt; about games or non-electronic toys: these statements are all attempts to see if anything works to get them more of what they want. Saying that nothing else is fun is no different than saying that they weren't paying attention&amp;mdash;it's a test to see if it's an excuse that works. You say that he happily plays with non-electronics otherwise, so there is no reason to believe otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children of that age are in a phase where they are exploring their own power. They have no idea what their power is, and they want more of what power they discover. Videogames offer, by design, a sense of power via independent agency, which is a form of power that very young children crave and have the least of. The fascination with the videogames is normal at that age, as is the persistent and dramatic attempts to be allowed to enjoy that agency for longer periods. Neither should be cause for concern, especially when you're not enabling habits to form that might cement the seeking behaviour beyond the normal development period of these internal motives for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, the testing behaviour is normal. The child is exploring their social environment to find out what is and isn't possible to get people to do, and at that age they have zero internal concern for any social consequences they cause to others through their exploration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But! knowing all this is normal doesn't help when you're facing a tantruming child and you're approaching your last nerve. Knowing it's normal is only to help you not worry about it excessively, so that you can save the energy that might be spend on worrying and focus on spending your limited and fraying energy reserves on managing the inappropriate behaviour itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different children respond differently to different structures (aka &quot;discipline&quot; in the overall control and self-control sense of the word, not the punishment sense only), so I can only offer what has worked with my child around videogames and what hasn't, so that you have some ideas to work with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that have &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; worked to prevent tantrums over videogames:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Asking her to self-regulate time (and punishing lack of self-regulation):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She played as long as she liked, ignoring (at the time) hypothetical consequences of not self-regulating. The actual consequences were too far removed in time from the &quot;offense&quot; to have a meaningful effect on behaviour, which probably felt like a nasty boom-bust cycle of fun and denial.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Having unregulated &quot;fun days&quot; (with the idea that it will &quot;get out of her system&quot; somewhat):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These just resulted in &lt;em&gt;worse&lt;/em&gt; behaviour when shifting back to the regular, regulated schedule. She looked for every social means (see &quot;exploration&quot; above) of making the unregulated time the norm.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pre-emptive warnings that tantrums will result in withdrawal of videogame privileges:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pre-emptive warnings got ignored until the privilege-removal consequence was already earned, so the warnings had no preventative effect. At this age, their immediate desires are overwhelming compared to verbally-delivered hypotheticals or future events, let alone both.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; worked to prevent tantrums over videogames:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Withdrawing videogame privileges for a day or more when &quot;time up&quot; is met with a tantrum:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that this is different from the &quot;didn't work&quot; above, in that it is not &lt;em&gt;pre-emptive warnings&lt;/em&gt;, is was simply the implementation of a known and naturally-connected consequence when tantrums happened, with an reminder of why the consequence was happening only given after the fact. Skipping the lecturing about consequences and just implementing them saved my energy and didn't allow her to assign responsibility for caring about consequences to me, which is what was happening when the consequences were primarily a verbal subject. Of course, the immediate tantrum just got worse, but it paid off in reducing and then completely eliminating them later.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The inevitable passage of time and the resulting increases in maturity:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She simply got a bit older. The above point probably helped her internalise the knowledge that a poor response to &quot;time up&quot; resulted in withdrawal of videogame privileges, which not only reduced tantrums, but possibly gave her some practice with self-regulation. She's still only 6, yet notably better at accepting statements that the videogames aren't going anywhere and that there are other things to do. She also now &lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt; self-regulates sometimes, turning it off before I even ask her to; that happened without me attempting to teach the idea of self-regulation verbally.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, children are all different. Mine is very &quot;stubborn&quot;, in the sense that she is strongly motivated only when she has internalised the reason for doing something, or has independently discovered her own reasons for doing something. Showing rather than telling works very well for her, which can involve implementing consequences with what feels like &quot;too little&quot; warning, but is far more effective than giving her lots of verbal instructions that end up just being good targets for her to practice arguing techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2888" LastActivityDate="2014-06-10T20:15:24.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13977" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="13978" CreationDate="2014-06-11T01:03:33.367" Score="4" ViewCount="8276" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What should I consider when choosing a bicycle for a 5-6 year old child?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm interested in both safety facets as well as functionality/features.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child has experience with trikes and a LITTLE experience with 2-wheel bikes (like &amp;lt;5 sample rides).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T17:16:52.113" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T17:16:52.113" Title="What should I consider when choosing a bicycle for a 5-6 year old child?" Tags="|primary-schooler|toys|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13977" CreationDate="2014-06-11T05:36:24.660" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending upon the child's size, they are likely to be on the tall end for a 16&quot; bike or the short end for a 20&quot; bike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We just got a 20&quot; for our 123cm tall, 6 year old boy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from wheel size, the other factors we took into account were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Frame size. The bike had a longer frame given that our lad is likely to be tall. The handle bars can be angled forward also, to add a bit more length.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Frame style. We live next to a good bike track, so off-road capability was not that important to us. We looked for a lighter frame.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Frame constructions. His bike's frame is aluminium but I don't think it makes that much difference. From experience with my daughter's 16&quot; - the frame is not that much lighter and it's the wheels that rust, not the frame.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Suspension. He's not going off road and his bike has way fat tyres so suspension was not required.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gears. Our daughter had a bike with gears and never really used them. We saved $50 by not getting gears on the bike- we'll just move him to a 24&quot; sooner.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Quality. We once skimped on our daughter's bike and got one from k-mart. It was absolute rubbish so we took it back and got her a quality model; it makes a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Colour. After suffering for 2 years on his sister's bright pink hand-me-down bike, he was happy to get &quot;boy&quot; colours.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Quick release fittings. This only really applies to the seat. His bike requires an allen key to adjust, it's a bit annoying sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Compatibility with a car bike rack. The shape of the frame affects how easy it is to mount on a car bike rack.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Training wheels. We'd invested time in getting him used to a 16&quot; with training wheels then without training wheels. When he moved to the 20&quot;, we insisted he'd do so without training wheels.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bike is working out well. Two months later, he just completed a 14km ride along our bike track without any problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2014-06-11T12:44:29.227" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T12:44:29.227" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13977" CreationDate="2014-06-11T09:45:19.700" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion the main thing you should consider is the price you want to pay for this bike. A 6 yo will grow out of it in about two years. After that the bike'll be useless, unless you have more children. But, then again, they might want to have another bike, with different colors, or just a new one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should take your child to the store, tell him the price limit, and het him choose. Read through dave's great technical answer before shopping and take it into consideration when making a choice with your LO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important thing is that your child likes the bike and that he'll want to ride it. All bikes are similarily (un)safe. Bike's features are likely to be predetermined by gender: girls will like ping city bikes with baskets, boys will like sturdy mountain bikes with gears. Or not. Either way, make sure your LO enjoys the bike's looks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for safety: make sure that the bike is visible, that there are light reflecting elements on it, that there are lights both front and back and that your kid knows how to turn them on and off. Definitely buy a helmet and make the child wear it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-06-11T12:40:04.967" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T12:40:04.967" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13980" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-11T10:04:45.093" Score="4" ViewCount="242" Body="&lt;p&gt;We swaddle our 3 month old, and she struggles to wake herself if she has been asleep for several hours. She rocks from side to side in her cot as if she is searching for food (she sometimes does the same head movement when she is awake and hungry). She also squeaks. A couple of times she has banged her head on the side of her cot as well, though seemingly without any ill effect. Most of the time eventually she'll open her eyes and start crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've now started taking her out of her cot and feeding her when she starts to rock from side to side and squeak - is this what is known as a dream feed, or are we taking her out of her cot too early?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T19:01:30.650" Title="Should we wake our baby if she seems distressed?" Tags="|infant|sleep|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13980" CreationDate="2014-06-11T11:01:21.327" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Three months seems a good age for the baby to gradually stop being fed every few hours. I would not feed her unless she wakes and screams for food (or if I succumbed to pity;). That is, of course, if she has no digestive problems and is healthily developing and gaining mass. About that age my LO started sleeping for longer periods of time. You may be inside a transitional period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, trust your instincts. If you think your baby is happier if it is fed, do it. If you are happier and less worried if you feed it, do it. Don't mind other people babbling on the Internet. Your baby will eventually grow out of waking up every few hours and I daresay dreamfeeding will not postpone that time by much (if at all).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for banging LO's head: you can buy a padding for your cot. It may increase the probability of SIDS, but for a 3 month old I think the risk is fairly small. It looks like this:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yfIK7.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;cot padding&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and is usually attached to to cot by strings. Make sure the padding is as non-interesting as possible, a plain white one would be best. Trust me on this, later on a colorful padding will be a great niusance, since your LO will play with it when it's supposed to go to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way: the &lt;em&gt;fourth trimester&lt;/em&gt; is almost over for you. Your quality of life will soon improve drastically:) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-06-11T12:13:41.893" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T12:13:41.893" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8264" CreationDate="2014-06-11T14:59:24.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say no, at least initially.  The child is learning how to eat, and reading a story can be distracting to that (plus, it is hard to hold a book and an eating baby simultaneously).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When to read to them?  When the baby is calm but awake is a great time to read.  Awake babies have active moments, which are great for playing, and more mellow/sedate moments which are great for reading, singing, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking can be appropriate to most times the baby is awake and you want (or at least don't mind) him or her staying awake, but the talk changes.  The tone and volume of conversation will be different as you play with the baby than as you rock him/her to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I found feeding to be a great time to talk to each other, or for me to read to her. It helped her to be less bored and tired while feeding our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3837" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T14:59:24.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13984" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-11T16:04:57.167" Score="3" ViewCount="149" Body="&lt;p&gt;What would be the factors that one should consider when deciding at what age to give a child their fist cell phone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assume that the phone can (if needed) be somewhat secured, with a curated list of applications.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T03:16:15.197" Title="What are the factors for deciding at what age to give a child cell phone?" Tags="|cellphone|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2014-06-12T07:35:49.123" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12648" CreationDate="2014-06-11T16:20:25.157" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found there's two issues to combat: the inside of the bag and the inside of the pail. Even after changing the bag there's some residual stink that has settled onto the compartment walls. My go-to for wiping stuff like that down is white vinegar but that's not terribly practical on a regular basis, so I keep some of those scent-reducing hockey-puck type things in there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the bag the absolutely most effective thing I have found is to dump my old coffee grounds in there. Whenever I make new coffee (which is when I empty the old grounds) I just put the old grounds&amp;amp;filter in a small tupperware container to take upstairs at my convenience. Then I dump the whole thing in the pail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grounds seem to absorb the smell even better than my back-up method, which is to dump about a half cup of baking soda in. I use some old plastic baby food containers which I fill up from the giant bag of baking soda I use in our laundry and just keep them near the pail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone else we know helps combat the stink by dumping the poop out of the diaper and into the toilet rather than putting the full diaper in the pail. I've tried that - when the output is sufficiently solid - but my conclusion was that it's inconvenient at the absolutely least convenient time. I can change the bag and do other things when I have not just gotten myself an arm-load of toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T16:20:25.157" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12573" CreationDate="2014-06-11T16:29:39.417" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;For our 18mo son the solution we've come up with that works best is to do our driving after bedtime. Part of this is that the kid is a champion sleeper, so if yours is not then maybe this isn't so helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do is prep the car so we're as close to walk-out-and-go as possible, then do as close to the bedtime routine as we can. Winding down the evening, maybe a bath, into the pajamas. Then instead of bed we strap him into the car seat and go. We're getting to the time of year where the sun being up so long will make this problematic, but for the last few trips it's been dark when we set out. We keep the car calm and quiet - no yelling at other drivers, no matter how stupid they might be - and he dozes off. It takes longer than in his crib, partly because he's a face sleeper, but he does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The downside is that we're driving in the evening and getting there late. We had to be pretty strident with my wife's parents that the kid is going straight from the seat to his sleeping place in their house and they can see him tomorrow, but they don't want to be up all night any more than we do and play along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T16:29:39.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13984" CreationDate="2014-06-11T17:09:10.827" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It obviously varies a lot depending on the child, family, and general situation. There are three really big questions I would ask, though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;WHO:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How responsible is the child, in general? Does he/she frequently lose/forget items?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you trust him/her to carry technology around without breaking it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you trust him/her to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; use it in some situations (school, movie theater, etc.)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also consider any restrictions at school or extracurricular activities; many have strict no-electronics rules.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;WHY:&lt;/strong&gt; Is the phone for...&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;safety&lt;/em&gt; (child can call 911 or adult in case of emergency)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;socializing&lt;/em&gt; (child can call/text friends)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;organization&lt;/em&gt; (child can call/text to inform adult of schedule changes)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the child pushing for this phone? If so, what's their motivation? &quot;Everyone else has one&quot; isn't as compelling as &quot;I want to be able to let you know swim practice was cancelled,&quot; in my opinion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;WHAT:&lt;/strong&gt; Consider the &quot;level&quot; of cell phone.&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A smartphone, for example, has a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of apps which can significantly increase the distraction factor (and, potentially, expose personal information such as home address, current location, and so on).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If this is just an emergency/general use phone, an inexpensive flip phone should be all that's needed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From personal experience: We have a cell phone that &quot;belongs to&quot; our daughter, who is ten. It's got a plan that restricts contact numbers on both incoming and outgoing calls (currently she can call both parents, a close family friend, and 911), and is intended for emergency use only. She cannot use it (or carry it around) without permission, and must ask to even get access to it. She's not terribly good at self-regulating its usage, and in one instance set a &quot;walk the dog&quot; alarm for 4am which made the phone start barking. While that was pretty annoying at the time (although funny in hindsight), it did give us a chance to have conversations about what a phone is really for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she develops some more personal maturity and responsibility, I plan to let her carry and/or use it more often, and open additional numbers (e.g., to chat with her own friends in addition to being able to phone for help) -- with the warning that she'll have to chip in if talk time or texts start exceeding a set threshold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-06-11T17:17:17.353" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T17:17:17.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13989" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="13999" CreationDate="2014-06-11T18:49:20.560" Score="6" ViewCount="278" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, if left to his own devices, would eat the same meal every single time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ensure that his meals are reasonably balanced,  with fruit and vegetables at every meal, but it's a challenge to keep the meals varied&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming his meals provide adequate nutrition, how important is it that he eat a variety of meals, instead of the same things day after day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there studies that show benefits to diverse diets, or risks from not having a diverse diet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T13:04:23.510" Title="How important is a diverse diet for a pre-schooler?" Tags="|pre-schooler|eating|diet|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12648" CreationDate="2014-06-11T19:35:38.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We ended up taking a less is fresh approach and purchased a small garbage can like in the link below.  Fewer diapers at any given point means less potential smell. It fits a plastic grocery bag perfectly and can manage almost a full days worth of diapers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other tip we received which really helped was to wrap the diaper up before throwing it out.  So after removing and before you throw it away, wrap itself into a small ball. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we took these two approaches we have had no issues.  We know the lid works as well because sometimes in removing the plastic bag when full the odors are strong in the bag, before we knot it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00203PSRA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Small Trash Can&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9034" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T19:35:38.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13992" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-11T19:38:14.647" Score="9" ViewCount="443" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“Yeah!” said James enthusiastically. “I don’t mind sharing a room with Al—Teddy could have my room!”&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  “No,” said Harry firmly, “you and Al will share a room only when I want the house demolished.”&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  (&quot;&lt;em&gt;Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows&lt;/em&gt;&quot;, Epilogue)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2 kids by themselves are reasonably well behaved and mature for their ages. They can be left alone in a room/floor (while the parent is working or doing chores elsewhere in the house) for hours at a time, with rarely a misbehavior happening. Especially the older one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, like Oxygen and Hydrogen, when combined, they become a maelstrom of destruction - it's almost assured that by the end of 1 or 2 hours they would at best turn the entire house into complete mess, and at worst do literally several hundred dollars worth of damage (usually, in a way that is so quiet that the only way you KNOW something is wrong is by absence of sounds from them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, the ONLY solution that ever worked was to forbid them to play together unless someone adult is in the same room to supervise - which is not always feasible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't a solution I like, &lt;strong&gt;so I am looking for a better alternative of how to manage the issue&lt;/strong&gt; than the Harry Potter approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rewarding them for behaving well when together. That only lasts 1-3 days&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discussions over what should and shouldn't be done (which is 100% useless - they virtually NEVER do such bad stuff when alone, and know perfectly well that it's bad).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discussions with the older one over &quot;You're an older sibling, can we trust you to keep an eye out for the younger one and tell her not to do bad things&quot;? He likes the idea of that trust and responsibility as a concept... but forgets about it pretty soon.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discussions with the older one over &quot;Never do what your sibling suggests if you know it's wrong&quot; (or when &lt;em&gt;anyone&lt;/em&gt; suggests in the first place). Again, perfect agreement... up until it's 2 of them for a significant period of time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Harsh punishment for causing trouble as a pair (including being separated from each other for several days).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. No, they do NOT share a room. We do not want the house demolished, thankyouverymuch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-06-12T01:03:35.287" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T13:13:29.983" Title="What can I do to prevent two well-behaving siblings from turning into a maelstrom of destruction when combined?" Tags="|discipline|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12648" CreationDate="2014-06-11T22:24:36.100" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We also have a diaper genie, after starting with a trash can with a lid. &quot;Oh, we don't need a diaper genie,&quot; we said. &quot;That's silly!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nope, wish we'd had one from the start. It's not perfect, but it certainly helps a LOT. I also drop an Arm &amp;amp; Hammer deodorizing tab in the bottom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-06-11T22:24:36.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13994" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="13995" CreationDate="2014-06-12T01:45:48.667" Score="4" ViewCount="221" Body="&lt;p&gt;While watching the Lion King with my older toddler (almost 3), he asked me an interesting question I couldn't answer.  During the scene with Scar and the hyenas, I asked him if it was scary (as I was concerned it might be).  He said yes, and asked me &quot;Why is it scary?&quot;.  Further questioning made it clear that he did think it was scary, but he didn't understand why, and I didn't come up with a good way to explain why something would be scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you explain what &quot;scary&quot; is to a toddler or preschooler?  Not so much concerned with how to deal with being scared, that I seem to understand - but I feel like he needs to know what &quot;scary&quot; really means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T02:38:11.357" Title="Understanding the idea of &quot;fears&quot; as a young child" Tags="|toddler|fears|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13994" CreationDate="2014-06-12T02:38:11.357" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What about : something scary is something that makes you feel unconfortable and not safe (?).  There must be some kind of empathy, you should be able to relate with the character who are in that scary situation. So it would be scary if you feel like it could actually be you who are threatened, or the story is so captivating that you actually thought you were really in the story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[It is very hard for a toddler in front of a movie, to differentiate what's in the movie and what's in the real life.  It's actually very hard for an adult (I am into zombie movies and I am scared all the time :p), so imagine for a child!]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T02:38:11.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13992" CreationDate="2014-06-12T03:03:50.423" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only thing that ever worked for me is:  fixing the problem they have caused.  (that is, if beforehand you have told them they would have to fix problems... :p)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they threw away their legos all over the house, then they take a bucket each and get them all back.  (that becomes interesting when they have mixed all their puzzles together, I am telling you!  but then it also fixes my other problem = &quot;mum I am bored, there is nothing to do in that house&quot; -&gt; well, spend a few hours doing all your puzzles, that will keep you busy)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other day, my 5yo walked all over the house with his muddy socks, there were footprints everywhere. I handed him a pack of baby wipes and wish him good luck.  I hope he will remember to remove his dirty socks next time he goes playing in the mud.  It may takes another pack of baby wipes, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, they could try and fix broken stuff (they won't do it, but at least they will have seen how hard it is to fix things). If there is financial consequences, tell them how you are going to get the money back (by saving on lollipops till the end of times or whatever).  I wouldn't let them try the rules near my new computer for instance, but they would still have to be in a challenging environment anyway, so find something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And well, you basically ask:  how can I get them responsible together?  Then I'd say you have to let them try.  They will never learn how to play nicely together if they are not allowed to.  I was giving these advices above (fix problems), based on what we live in our house, but these are the results of individual behavior.  My three kids (6yo, 5yo and 2yo) sleeps in the same room and have also another room to play in.  They play nicely together, because they &lt;em&gt;have to&lt;/em&gt;, that's in their own interest.  (the same goes for sleeping at night, why would they bother each other?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T03:03:50.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13989" CreationDate="2014-06-12T03:11:29.813" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personnally think you don't have to vary meals a lot.  If the meal is balanced and give him everything he needs, then he can have it forever.  It's like the &quot;5 vegetables / 2 fruits a day&quot; rule. My!  If you buy only what's available in season and of good quality, you can't always find 5 different vegetables a day.  And how would you cook them together. 4 carrot serves + 1 bean serve, for instance, that sounds good enough for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I guess it's then really important to eat &quot;in season&quot; stuff.  There are oranges in winter, because there is not much sun.  That kind of things. So it would OK for me to have one winter menu, and then one spring menu, etc etc.  It makes sense to me at least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T03:11:29.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13984" CreationDate="2014-06-12T03:16:15.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess it really depends on your own beliefs and situation.&#xA;We don't have a mobile phone, so I am not going to buy one for my children. When they are old enough to buy their own and understand the risks, then it's OK for me.  It would be the same for sleepover, using internet, having a tattoo... :p (all depends on child maturity and house rules)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T03:16:15.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="13999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13989" CreationDate="2014-06-12T03:51:48.240" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A diverse diet is important to adequate nutrition, beyond just making sure they have enough fruits/veggies.  We need a small amount of a lot of vitamins and minerals, and a diverse diet helps make sure we get enough of the less common ones periodically.  Unless you're a trained nutritionist it can be very difficult to ensure &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; is provided for in a relatively small set of meals; having diversity helps ensure you don't miss anything important.  [This NIH paper](&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15465751&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15465751&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://jn.nutrition.org/content/138/12/2448.full&quot;&gt;this study from the Journal of Nutrition&lt;/a&gt; go into some detail.  (Of course, Madagascar nutrition levels are likely to be not as advanced as first-world levels, but the basic principle still applies.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, a less diverse diet at a young age will likely lead to being less adventurous eater as the child ages.  Spice palates are developed fairly young, and while an adult can certainly intentionally change his/her palate, as a child it seems to be less common, meaning a child who's not exposed to a diverse set of tastes may be a pickier eater as he/she ages.  From my personal experience, at least, kids who grow up on hot dogs and macaroni and cheese grow up to be teenagers who eat pizza and hot dogs.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/2011/08/08/139033757/babys-palate-and-food-memories-shaped-before-birth&quot;&gt;This NPR story&lt;/a&gt; goes into detail about how early exposure to tastes - even in utero - leads to less picky eaters as older children, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T03:51:48.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14000" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-12T04:24:28.093" Score="9" ViewCount="3414" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12-year-old son believes that I don't do anything for him - I do everything I possibly can and yes, there are things I forget to do (as I'm only human). He is sly and causes arguments between his father and myself that I am being mean. He tells me I do nothing and that I'm lazy, he lies on the couch and demands I get him this and that (which I don't, of course). He never speaks to me like this when his father is around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm at the point at the moment that I'm going to make him do his own washing, pack his own lunch box etc. (do all my daily jobs), because I think he might learn to appreciate the things I do for him to make his life easier. Yet I feel bad, as he is only a child still. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I dealing with it like a parent should or not? Any other advice would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9036" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-11T08:13:34.937" LastActivityDate="2018-05-11T08:13:34.937" Title="How to deal with my 12-year-old son's calling me lazy and ordering me around?" Tags="|behavior|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13989" CreationDate="2014-06-12T12:34:05.123" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess it depends on what you mean by varied.  My boys can have quite a short menu of foods that they will eat, but they do encompass Hot Dogs, Pizza, as well as Sushi, Pasta, and Chinese Dumplings.  Overall it's more important you get nutrition, your Pediatrician should be able to guide you on what the needs are as they change over time.  If you feel like they are really lacking you can always try and supplement foods with PediaSure or those other types of nutrition drinks, my 4 year old LOVES those and many times wakes up at night and won't go to sleep without one.  Although we buy the cheaper, wholesale club version of those drinks and he doesn't really notice, but my wallet does.  In general we try to offer them a wide variety of foods, my wife is Chinese so we do have a wide variety of foods that they do eat even if it's only a few from American and Chinese cooking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We push fruits in our house, we always try to have in season fruit and eat it all the time.  I made a big deal of it when the kids were younger &quot;it's natures candy!&quot; I always said.  Eventually they picked up on it.  We don't keep many sweets in the house, so my kids have very little desire for chocolates and such - at most they get their candy fix from ice cream.  Chips and sodas are for outside the house, so we keep that sort of foods out of the cupboard and they don't miss it.  Same for cookies, when we do have them we make them at home, and it gives them something to do.  I don't limit snacks exclusively, as I find that makes the kids want them more, but I preach moderation.  A little is fine, but we aren't buying huge amounts of snacks like that for our house, and often by limiting snacks to more healthy options, and limiting it altogether on some days, we find they eat dinners better and more food.  No drinks during the beginning of dinner, so they eat more and don't fill up on juices and water, they usually get a drink when they are halfway done.  I find most of this gets them to eat and by not catering to their specific meal whims (home is not a restaurant) they learn to eat foods you like and sometimes widen their options more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't agree that picky eaters end up as picky adults, I was an extremely picky eater when I was younger (as were some of my friends) but we grew up fine and not partake in stuff we'd never have though of having when we were kids.  While this may be true for some people it's not everyone, it's more of a sense of adventure and willingness to try new things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always check out the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=kids%20healthy%20diets&amp;amp;oq=kids%20healthy%20diets&amp;amp;aqs=chrome..69i57.2952j0j8&amp;amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;amp;es_sm=93&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8#q=food%20pyramid%202014&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Food Pyramid&lt;/a&gt; through Google, as well as looking for Healthy options for kids.  Overall nutrition studies get updated and amended every few years, so I am not sure what you would get from a study other than knowing a balanced diet is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="503" LastEditorUserId="503" LastEditDate="2014-06-12T13:04:23.510" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T13:04:23.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13992" CreationDate="2014-06-12T13:13:29.983" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids get excited when they are together, and may forget rules, especially if it turns to be a special event (it seems that you don't allow them to play together that often). I have a big family and most of my cousins are individually well-behaved but, there is nothing much to do, during family gathering, it always finishes with a horde of kids running everywhere. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why don't you play quietly with them a couple of times (for example, board games). And when you have something else to do, you can propose them this activity. They will know how to play and have seen a model (you) on how to behave. They don't need to have this kind of quiet activities every time they play together, and may choose their own games, but at least, when things get messy, you will have an alternative to separation and harsh punishment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9028" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T13:13:29.983" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14003" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-12T14:08:58.250" Score="58" ViewCount="12304" Body="&lt;p&gt;How should I handle an 8 year old lawyering and quibbling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g., anytime he has a rule, or a task, or is told what to do, his FIRST impulse is nearly 100% to find some fault with the technicality or wording and either start arguing based on that, or simply not do and then when asked explain &quot;Well you said it THIS way&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to be clear - this is on topics where he knows 100% certainty what the &lt;em&gt;spirit&lt;/em&gt; of what's being told to him is... he literally does what in adult would be called &quot;Lawyering&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't even limited to things he doesn't like or objects to - he simply enjoys the process of finding loopholes. Which would be fine if he was a law student and not an 8YO child who actually needs to do things he's told to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my problems is that I don't want to clamp down TOO hard - first, because it shows he has good brains and lets him exercise them; and second because later in life it IS a very valuable skill to have, even to a non-lawyer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But at this point this create actual practical problems - critical things not done, or tons of my times wasted on close supervision of things that he's perfectly capable of doing on his own since age of 3 (e.g. brushing teeth or dressing or eating or cleanup etc...). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My main concern isn't stopping the behavior completely, but limiting it to things that aren't critical/important or time-sensitive situations. He doesn't seem to care when it's appropriate to quibble and laywer and when not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Examples&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm Done with breakfast&quot;. &quot;Did you finish eating?&quot;. &quot;Yes&quot;. &quot;OK, get ready for school&quot;. Then I walk up to where he ate and notice he didn't drink his juice milk. &quot;Why didn't you drink, and why did you say you finish&quot;? &quot;Well, you asked about EATING. I finished EATING, but not drinking&quot;. Just to be clear, he knows perfectly well (and confirmed it) that what he was being asked was whether he finished his entire breakfast, liquids included.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Please take all the books you were reading that are now strewn around your room to the bookshelf?&quot; &quot;OK&quot;. 15 mins later, find a bunch of books still in the room. &quot;Why didn't you take these?&quot; &quot;They aren't books I was reading, they are activity books&quot;. Again, he very happily confirms that he knows full well activity books are included in &quot;books&quot;, or that the goal of the excercise was to make his room tidy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Please clean up your toys from the floor of the room&quot;. 10 mins later ... &quot;Why are these 5 things still on the floor&quot;? &quot;Well, my sister played with them, so they aren't 'MINE'&quot;. &quot;Didn't you play with them TOGETHER&quot;? &quot;Yes&quot;. &quot;So do you think I meant to include them in the cleanup&quot;? &quot;Yes, you did&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Why did you hit your sister when throwing that thing? Didn't I tell you to NOT throw it when she's standing in front of you and tell her to move away so you won't hit her?&quot; &quot;Well, she wasn't standing. She was sitting&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-06-12T14:50:29.380" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T01:43:04.417" Title="How should I handle an 8 year old lawyering and quibbling?" Tags="|discipline|arguments|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="18" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-12T17:07:28.347" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you're dealing with matters of discipline or anything else are you a stickler for the letter of the law yourself? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you make a promise to your child do you fall back on the letter or the spirit if they accuse you of not meeting it? &#xA;eg: &quot;But you said we could go to McDonalds!&quot; &quot;I said we could &lt;em&gt;go&lt;/em&gt; to McDonalds if you did your homework, we did, we walked in and out again, then we went to to VegRUs and actually got something to eat.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children can be frustratingly good at copying bad habits their parents don't notice in themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the child is 8 and reasonable bright have you tried reasoning with them as you would an adult rather than getting frustrated in an amusing manner? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you can simply not accept unreasonable appeals to the letter rather than the spirit. Focus on what they &quot;knew were supposed to do&quot; rather than what they were told to do.&#xA;If it &lt;em&gt;works&lt;/em&gt; without consequence then they'll do it more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9011" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T17:07:28.347" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-12T18:14:09.743" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would have a discussion about &quot;spirit of the law&quot; vs &quot;letter of the law&quot; as well as figures of speech.  I would then follow it up with a discussion about the golden rule.  Does he want someone to do this to him every time he says something using a figure of speech?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T18:14:09.743" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-12T18:53:10.463" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was in college and I wanted a professor to regrade my test, they would regrade the whole thing, not just the one thing I was concerned about.  It rarely paid off for me to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've adapted that tactic with my children who look for and attempt to exploit loopholes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Please take all the books you were reading that are now strewn around your room to the bookshelf?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;OK&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;15 mins later, find a bunch of books still in the room.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Why didn't you complete the task?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;They aren't books I was reading, they are activity books&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Do you need me to make a more difficult, specific rule for you to follow, or do you want to try completing the original task to my standard?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally they will choose to finish the task.  Sometimes they turn it into a game and see how many loopholes they can find, but inevitably I will continue to give them definitions and rules that actually make their job much harder than it would have been otherwise.  I have to be careful to avoid contradictions, but I treat it as a game once in awhile, and when it's not appropriate I tell them, &quot;I'm not in a position to help you understand the instructions better. I believe you understand my standards and instructions, though, and if you choose not to do the work correctly you will lose a privilege or have more work to do later.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T18:53:10.463" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-12T20:17:19.783" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing you can do is avoid providing opportunities for lawyering by keeping your own wording simple.  Use short, concise statements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid asking open-ended questions like &quot;Why did you do X?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain what he is required to do briefly, and the consequences of failure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of saying &quot;Please take all the books you were reading that are now strewn around your room to the bookshelf&quot; simply say &quot;Put away your books&quot; or better yet, &quot;Clean your room.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of saying &quot;Why did you hit your sister when throwing that thing? Didn't I tell you to NOT throw it when she's standing in front of you and tell her to move away so you won't hit her?&quot; you say &quot;I told you not to hit your sister, but you did it anyway. Now you must [insert consequences here].&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't engage in arguments or debates. If you're sure he knew what you really meant, call him on it. &quot;You knew what I wanted you to do and you didn't do it. I'm disappointed.&quot; Then walk away. Disengage. End the conversation on your terms, not his.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also important to explain the consequences for failing to follow instructions, and follow through with those consequences consistently. This is one of the hardest parts of parenting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9039" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T20:17:19.783" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2014-06-12T21:53:34.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well I created a strap for my baby's pacifier and it works great. It's loose enough that she can spit it out when she really doesn't want it while still being snug enough for her to use her little fist to pop it back in if it slips out a little by accident. I never use it at night though and I'm a very vigilant mommy anyway, so she is always in front of me during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wear her half of the time anyway. She is 5 weeks old. Before the strap she kept crying because the pacifier kept popping out her mouth every couple of sucks, and yes, she wanted it because when it would fall out, she would go bananas until she got it back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9041" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-13T12:14:49.397" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T12:14:49.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-12T22:07:05.793" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is incredibly brilliant. He is trying to help you become a better communicator. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I must commend you for taking the time to clarify that he does indeed understand the spirit of your words, and that he does in fact know what it is you would like for him to do. This is a testament to his brilliance and his confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each time he lawyers, consider thanking him for pointing out that what you said was ambiguous (guaranteed he know what ambiguous means) and, given that he understands the spirit of what you were trying to tell him, ask him how you could have better spoken your words to be less likely to be potentially misunderstood. Chances are, if the way you talk to your son is blatantly open to interpretation, so is the way you talk to everyone else. This can wreak havoc on your professional career and stand in the way of advancement, and even make you more likely to be a candidate for dismissal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;English is a language in which it is incredibly easy to be misunderstood, and worse, without even knowing that you were misunderstood! Statements made at the office have the potential to be interpreted in at least as many ways as there are people in your audience -- misinterpretations which can foster ill will, disrespect, blame towards you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son has the gift of confidence. If he weren't self-confident, he would assume that his literal interpretation of what you said was incorrect, and become confused -- and as time goes on, introverted and withdrawn. His continued behaviour in this way is indicative of his self-confidence, and you should not interpret this behaviour as disrespect toward you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Embracing his viewpoint will turn you into a better communicator, which will in turn work miracles in your life both as a parent, as an employee, and as a human being!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9040" LastEditorUserId="9040" LastEditDate="2014-06-12T22:18:22.147" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T22:18:22.147" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13963" CreationDate="2014-06-12T23:48:30.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might consider communicating to her how the going out or performing a specific activity is the treat, and that not all gifts are objects, but experiences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, she's 8 and this isn't something you can change in her.  However, she is old enough to recognize that different adults will treat her differently, and react to her actions differently.  Often the cure for this type of behavior is treating her the way you treat your son, over a long period of time, so she comes to understand your relationship with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you only ever visit her once or twice a year for a few hours or days at a time, there's little you can do other than take her behavior and preferences into account in your planning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, if you spend time trying to understand her interests, you may be able to come to a middle ground where you feel ok giving a gift she's willing to accept for a given behavior.  For instance, you might read to her at night, and get her interested in a particular long book.  Then use an extra few pages/chapter of reading as a treat. Also, you might turn activities, gifts, or meals you were already planning on into a treat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-06-12T23:48:30.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13962" CreationDate="2014-06-13T00:11:54.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The following, taken together, can help indicate overheating.  None of these alone fully diagnose overheating, but taken together they can suggest whether you should take further action or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Signs of overheating in infants:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sweating, which can be felt as dampness around the neck or head&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Red face or rash on face&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rapid breathing &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feels warm to the touch (head or chest)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Restlessness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be that a temporal thermometer, with a light touch on the forehead, will not disturb your child.  If so this can also be used to understand if they are overheating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T00:11:54.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-13T00:46:35.693" Score="92" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am glad you used the term &quot;lawyering&quot;.  I have been on both sides of this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the child, I distinctly recall the fun in &quot;outsmarting&quot; my parents.  I considered them as incapable of expressing themselves well.  The more they argued for me to &quot;get the point&quot;, the more I thought they didn't &quot;get the point&quot;.  They never did succeed in their goal and since my goal was to prove they would fail, I thought for a long time that I had succeeded in my goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, the more detailed a contract, the more fun I have in finding out where it fails... where the loophole exists.  Think you can cover &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; possible scenario?  I love it when you try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As someone who develops software solutions for merchants, I frequently advise the CSR's that those asking for specific features never know what they actually want... they know what they intend.  Find out what problem they are trying to solve and solve that -- they won't care which &quot;feature&quot; solves it, just that it is solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my own child, I do not give specific instructions (except in emergencies), I state the intention.  For example, &quot;Your room needs to be clean&quot;, &quot;The kitchen needs to be clean&quot;, &quot;Select something to do over the summer related to animals and which requires you getting out of the house&quot; (yes, this one has 2 intentions being met [animals is because she wants to be a vet]).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occasionally I have made a mistake and given a specific instruction.  Being her father's daughter, she promptly &quot;lawyered up&quot;.  My response was direct, &quot;You really want to play that game with me?  I enjoy it.  Do you think you will?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's only fun if it succeeds.  However, I suggest that speaking in highly-specific terms to someone of a nature similar to mine will never succeed no matter the threats... it's an internal joy you can't take away by continuing, so perhaps the underlying point they are making without knowing it is of benefit: &quot;tell me what you intend without trying to tell me the steps.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a side effect of this, too.  &quot;How to Win Friends And Influence People&quot; has a whole chapter on &quot;Give A Dog A Good Name&quot; which concludes with the point &quot;Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to&quot;... namely, by stating your intention and allowing that to be fulfilled in whatever manner they &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; it should, they are very likely to do more than had you asked something specific in the first place. Where they fall short, giving them &quot;an out&quot; by asking, &quot;Nice job.  Did you forget _ _ _ _?  It will be perfect when that is done, too&quot; takes away any fight and gets the job done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, the lesson of speaking via intention instead of by specifics is something which has served me well in life.  I may not know &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; what I want is achieved, but I do care &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; it is achieved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T00:46:35.693" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14000" CreationDate="2014-06-13T01:07:24.950" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have provided a lot of useful information in your question, so I hope I am able to help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, he &quot;believes I don't do anything for him&quot; -- I doubt this is what he believes.  It is what he says, absolutely, but let's look at what he is saying.  He is calling you lazy (and I presume other things).  Children do not make such statements unless they have seen that behavior elsewhere and then they mimic it.  Now is the time to end it.  Yes, in some cultures women are still considered as those who serve the males, but there are various levels of &quot;serving&quot; -- we can provide various services or we can actually be servants who are beholden to those we serve.  One is demeaning, while the other is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, that he &quot;causes arguments&quot; and does these things only when your husband is not around is actually not something I suggest as directly involving your son.  Your husband needs to know &lt;strong&gt;and act&lt;/strong&gt; upon his son's behavior.  When a man is raising another future man, that man must train him to be a strong, quality man.  You will not be able to equally substitute for your husband's influence, nor should you have to.  Speak with your husband and decide on how things will be handled. A dual front in working with your son to be a great person will mean all the difference.  And in those cases where you and your husband have differing views, they should be settled outside the view of your son at this point because your son is gaining a benefit from seeing the differing views.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chores as a penalty will not serve the purpose intended.  However, at 12yo as the commenter added, chores are a part of most people's lives.  Want to watch TV?  When your chores are done.  End of story. -- etc, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of your gender, one must be taught proper respect for the other gender.  And completely independent of gender, one must be taught proper respect for all others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My biggest concern is that your question appears to be asking what you can do without the father's input.  Raising a child, though, where you are fortunate enough to be a 2-parent family &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; include both parents to be successful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T01:07:24.950" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-13T01:50:50.880" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Didn't think I would ever post on P.SE, but will give it a go none the less, I will keep it relatively self centered as I will be honest that my experience with parenting and children isn't that great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;My History &amp;amp; Why I Stopped Doing It&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did exactly this as a child and I think I drove my parents and teachers quite crazy with it.  Now, at some point - still as a child - somebody (likely my little brother) tried to use this against me and as I hated losing arguments I came up with an argument which in one big swoop invalidated years of arguing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Language is a ridiculously complex system and literal interpretations are actually &lt;strong&gt;incorrect&lt;/strong&gt;. Not only against the spirit of the original statement (which I did not care about), but actually incorrect, &lt;strong&gt;dumb&lt;/strong&gt; (the one that hit me) and short-sighted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or when I got slightly older (around 10 I believe) and started programming more actively it changed into the following form:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Humans are not computers and [fill in some language] is not a programming language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and just to put it into a more modern form as a third alternative &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Language is created to facilitate communication. Miscomprehension and/or miscommunication is a failure of one or both parties. If the communicated instructions are of a commonly accepted form, then it necessarily means the fault lies at least partially on the receiving end (and likely entirely except in the very specific case if there is an alternative commonly accepted interpretation of the same instructions). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I was essentially arguing was not about some weird &quot;spirit&quot; of a rule, law, statement or question, but the fact that language by it's very nature is a complex system rather than a rule based interpreter. So if I take an example like&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Please take all the books you were reading that are now strewn around your room to the bookshelf?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way that would have worked with me is pointing out that language works in a way where an example or over specific case can be used to give instructions where the person giving the instruction may have made likely, albeit incorrect assumptions and not understanding so is &lt;strong&gt;dumb and stupid&lt;/strong&gt;. Now, it might sound really harsh to call it dumb and the way this is communicated is up to debate, but the thing is, at least talking for myself, I considered myself smart for years due to my literal interpretations. In other words, the only way to stop behaviour like this in individuals like me is to address this core issue: &lt;em&gt;Interpreting language literally is easy: everybody is able to do that. Interpreting language in it's full scope: that's what's hard.&lt;/em&gt; Present it as such that a failure of him to comprehend this is something that shows a lack of intelligence, not an abundance of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;So, is it Actually Beneficial?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Up till this day I rarely lose an argument, so I would definitely not argue that the mindset allowing literal interpretation and being open for confrontation is not beneficial in some regards. However arguments won going down the literal route tend to be arguments won at the cost of social standing and respect, so do in every possible way dissuade him from this behaviour. Lawyers indeed do use these kind of interpretations, but in every other place in life you need actual debating skill rather than this 'fake' debating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my final advice: Act as if he needs help understanding it better anytime he pulls this act (&quot;Oh dear, was my instruction too hard to understand? I am sorry, wait, let me explain it to you better now...&quot;) and maybe grant him some victories when he starts to actually debate and for example is able to point out inconsistencies in your parenting (he sounds like the type who might be capable of that). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6902" LastEditorUserId="6902" LastEditDate="2014-06-13T02:09:20.770" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T02:09:20.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-13T02:03:30.120" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this situation I merely tell them, &quot;You knew what I meant. You may not make up excuses for not obeying and you are always responsible for obeying correctly.&quot; Their consequence is typically a menial task to perform.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9045" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T02:03:30.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6064" CreationDate="2014-06-13T10:52:55.370" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You all simply make sure your kids get a lot of physical play every single day - they will be so tired by the time night rolls around they will literally start begging to go sleep and will not ever wake up in the middle of the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9048" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T10:52:55.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14020" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-13T13:51:12.497" Score="0" ViewCount="259" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids (8-11) to participate on social online networks (age appropriate ones, not Facebook)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to be clear, I mean participation with the assumption of 100% parental control and supervision, and in moderation in terms of time consumptionm, not affecting other parts of life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What interests me is &lt;strong&gt;the effect of the actual social networking aspect of social networks&lt;/strong&gt;, positive or negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm NOT asking about:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'm well aware of and not interested in things like danger of child predators or accidental exposure to age-inappropriate material which parental supervision can eliminate or mitigate sufficiently.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'm not asking about effects of a child choosing to socialize online &lt;strong&gt;at the expense&lt;/strong&gt; of other activities including in person socialization.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2014-06-13T15:56:13.910" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T20:00:00.850" Title="Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids to participate on social online networks?" Tags="|pre-teen|socialization|social-media|research|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2014-06-13T14:41:41.307" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is possible that they don't want the pacifier. My daughter never did. We ended up using our pinky finger (pad side up, nail down) when she was fussy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7849" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T14:41:41.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-13T15:17:27.947" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child is willfully disobeying and drawing you into an energy draining exchange each time. Treat this as you would any other misbehavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house, we used the 1-2-3 behavior modification method. Any time our kids did something they were not supposed to do, we would name the behavior and say, &quot;That's 1.&quot; If the behavior repeated, they would get a &quot;That's 2&quot; and on 3 they got a time out. They knew this, and most of the time, all it took was &quot;That's 1&quot; to get them to shift behavior. So in your case, I would have said, &quot;You know what I meant. That's 1.&quot; If he argued, I would simply say, &quot;That's 2.&quot; And so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what your preferred method is for behavior modification, but you need to connect a consequence to this behavior and stop talking to him about it, because he KNOWS he's pushing buttons and he's enjoying it. Maybe it's &quot;You know what I meant. Bedtime at 8 tonight.&quot; If he argues, &quot;Bedtime at 7:45.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T15:17:27.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14023" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14031" CreationDate="2014-06-13T16:10:28.483" Score="50" ViewCount="8797" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like many young children, my 4.5 year old daughter will often stop eating her supper (6 PMish - she has breakfast and lunch at daycare) and say she's not hungry.  My instinctive initial response is to insist in some fashion because that's what my parents always did.  The assumption seems to be along the lines that they're just being picky or distracted, and will get hungry later, and that they need to learn to eat on a schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But regardless of whether she'll be hungry 3 hours later, what if she really isn't hungry now - aren't I doing her a disservice in her development by ingraining the idea that she should keep eating when she's not hungry?  What should I do, just a gentle reminder that this will be her last meal of the night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7959" LastActivityDate="2023-09-06T10:37:40.140" Title="Should I really be insisting that my daughter finish eating her meal?" Tags="|behavior|eating|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-13T17:50:24.803" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have this same problem.  My stance on it is if they take the food they should eat all of it. Now if they are truly full then they shouldn't be hungry for a &quot;meal&quot; later that night.  A bedtime snack (piece of fruit, some crackers, etc) I'm ok with but when she come to me and says I'm hungry and I ask what she wants and she asks for a second meal or I get her one of the items listed and then she asks for more that's when I stop.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I've started telling the kids (6 &amp;amp; 9) if they don't eat their supper then no snacks later, it was to a point where we would eat dinner and no kidding an hour later they would ask for more food.  That's when it became a problem to me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree I don't want my kids to think just because there is food there they need to eat it but I also don't want their eyes to be bigger than the stomach.  We eat out alot so it's hard to tell them only take what you can eat since it comes pre portioned but I will make sure they know to limit other intake like drinks which give a false sense of fullness or snacks right before dinner. Another thing I've found is they will order more than they can eat so before ordering I make sure it's a proper portion and we discuss why it's not if I don't think it's right portion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My other take on it is as long as the doctor's aren't concerned and they are getting a balanced diet it will eventually even itself out.  I don't want to start a bad habit on either side so it's one of those battles that I sometimes don't fight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2745" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T17:50:24.803" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-13T18:26:08.823" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Back in the old days most parents would have smacked their kids for being a wise ass and moved on. All these people talking about how your kid is brilliant and is trying to make you a better parent with his responses is just ridiculous. Your child is 8, he may be precocious, but he's being a smart ass. You need to put your parent pants on and teach him to follow both the letter of your instruction and the spirit of your instruction. Being a smart ass gets you no where except on the internet or in politics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9057" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T18:26:08.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-13T19:50:53.057" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's my $0.02: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I assume that &lt;strong&gt;a healthy child knows when it is hungry&lt;/strong&gt; and when it is not. Reasoning from there, it seems to me that talking kids into eating when they do not feel hungry does harm, as it would hinder this self-consideration to develop. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;However, I also assume that a healthy child at 4 is able to learn that there are meals and that &lt;strong&gt;meals come at certain times&lt;/strong&gt;. If one of the children does not want to eat at the time of a meal, then that's fine with me. I will remind them how long it takes until the next meal, and if they insist they're not hungry, then I shrug it off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, I will equally &lt;strong&gt;shrug off any complaints about them being hungry an hour later&lt;/strong&gt;. I suggest they have an apple, and then that's it. Where I live kids aren't getting hungry to the point where any harm is done. Being a bit hungry for two or three hours is no harm. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I also assume that children will have to &lt;strong&gt;learn to estimate how hungry they are&lt;/strong&gt;. Therefore, I will usually suggest an amount of food to put on the kids' plates, but very soon (beginning around the age of 2) I took input from them about it. If they insist on having more than I suggested, against my recommendation even, then they will eat that. All of it. That doesn't mean I'll tie them to the chair until they've got it down somehow, but it means that there will be no other food for them until they're done. That might mean that a child which was stubborn might choke on the cold remains from a previous meal while we enjoy a piece of cake on Sunday afternoon. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I insist that kids do not only consume proteins and carbohydrates, but &lt;strong&gt;also have a fitting amount of vitamins&lt;/strong&gt;. Again, that does not mean a child &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; to eat lots of green beans if that child hates green beans. But with a piece of meat and potatoes come some vitamins. (If a child then decides it rather eats nothing, then, again, this is fine by me.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I only cook on weekends (the kids eat cooked food in kindergarten/school during the week), and &lt;strong&gt;we all together decide what we want to eat&lt;/strong&gt; on the weekend (either at dinner on Friday or on Saturday morning, before I go shopping groceries). Being the one who cooks, I reserve the right to veto any decisions, but since the kids have very diverse opinions about what they want anyway (their ages span more than a decade), the whole idea of deciding together relies a lot on the reciprocate concern that none of the other will be too disappointed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, each of us will once in a while tell the others that, while we don't like some food, we will put up with it that day, because the others like it. Since I consider it very important that they learn to do this, I also step back sometimes and cook something I dislike. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Also, my oldest is now old enough to cook herself. Of course, if she cooks, she's got the right to veto, and I must not veto. And, of course, I will have to put up with what we agreed on and she cooks, even if I dislike it.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess at the heart of all this is my assumption that &lt;strong&gt;a child will behave responsibly when it is expected to do so&lt;/strong&gt;, given the freedom to have to decide on its own, and when it sees the others living up to such expectations. I try to retreat to the role of a consultant as much as possible as soon as possible. Of course, as every parent I do everything within my powers to prevent my children from permanent harm. However, I will not protect them from &lt;a href=&quot;http://twitter.com/tweetsbi/status/476992660520329217&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;minor injuries (to the body or the soul) that result from them disregarding counsel&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, the result of &lt;strong&gt;taking children and their opinions serious&lt;/strong&gt; at what the society around me considers a very early age for this results in them learning to seriously think about things for themselves and to listen to counsel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2016-01-03T23:21:46.623" LastActivityDate="2016-01-03T23:21:46.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-13T19:52:17.333" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very simple. Only ask &lt;em&gt;once&lt;/em&gt;. Once &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt;. If they lie, tell them they lied and then take something they like away for a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're negotiating, when you should be giving direction. You'll find you like your child much better as they start acting less stubborn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9059" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-14T12:40:59.710" LastActivityDate="2014-06-14T12:40:59.710" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14029" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-13T20:21:25.497" Score="4" ViewCount="501" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our newborn baby is 6 days old and has always been breastfed. Yesterday, my wife breastfed a 3-month-old baby of our friends. Her mother was at the hospital, so my wife breastfed the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my wife has less milk and my newborn stays hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be worried?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9062" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-15T14:23:34.953" LastActivityDate="2018-12-15T14:23:34.953" Title="Are there negative consequences to breastfeeding a baby that is older than our newborn?" Tags="|infant|newborn|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-13T20:23:28.060" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that everyone's answers are all reasonable (though very different), but I lean more towards the &quot;it depends on the child&quot; and &quot;it depends on whether he is really causing problems.&quot;  I also suspect that the best thing to do is wait it out. I agree that this type of thinking &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be helpful to an adult, but could just as likely be problematic for an adult. If you can put up with this for a year or two, I think you should, and then you should revisit how to make it less painful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best solution &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be to provide less guidance and just be outcome focused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note 1: I would not consider my answer &quot;advice.&quot; It may be helpful, it might not, but it is not guidance as to how you should respond. None of us know enough about the situation to give the right answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note 2: Once upon a time, when my child was about 4, he had trouble remembering to put on clean clothes each day. So every morning, I would ask &quot;did you put on clean underwear today?&quot; He always responded &quot;Yes.&quot; About 4 days into this, he needed a swat on the butt, and I noticed it was pretty soft. You guessed it -- he had followed the letter but not the spirit of the law. He had put on a clean pair of underwear each day -- over the dirty one -- so he was wearing 4 or 5 pairs by the time I found out. My point is that I think I can understand where you are coming from, and I sympathize. He is now in his late teens, doing fine in college, and pretty normal. Only wears one pair of boxers at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9061" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T20:23:28.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-13T20:50:51.977" Score="67" Body="&lt;p&gt;A slightly more scientific perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A study done called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0195666301904829&quot;&gt;'You Will Eat All of That! (A retrospective analysis of forced consumption episodes)'&lt;/a&gt; found that pressuring children into finishing their food may &lt;strong&gt;lower their natural appetite&lt;/strong&gt; (perhaps because they're being told when and how much to eat, rather than learning naturally).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other studies have also found that it may &lt;strong&gt;lead to over-eating&lt;/strong&gt; in adulthood (as you may be encouraging them to eat after they've stopped being hungry), and that it may actually inhibit their growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also find it helpful to know that another study named &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0195666306000195&quot;&gt;''Finish your soup’: Counterproductive effects of pressuring children to eat on intake and affect'&lt;/a&gt; found that in children who were pressured into eating certain foods (e.g. vegetables), those children were more likely to gain an aversion to those foods that lasted into adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://smartparentprogram.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/dont-force-your-child-to-eat.html&quot;&gt;This blog post&lt;/a&gt;  has an overview on the topic, but he's an excerpt from the end: (emphasis added by me)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As a parent, you naturally feel anxious if your child is doing&#xA;  something that you think is unhealthy, like not eating &quot;enough.&quot;&#xA;  Reassure yourself that in all but the rarest of cases, &lt;strong&gt;children will&#xA;  eat enough food to survive and be healthy&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Notice the times when you feel tempted to pressure your child to eat.&#xA;  Relax, take a deep breath, smile, and say to yourself &quot;Oh well. His&#xA;  brain knows how much he needs to eat.&quot; Then go do something else to&#xA;  distract yourself.&#xA;  The following behaviors are perfectly normal! Don't get scared into&#xA;  pressuring your child to eat when he does them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;refusing to eat a meal&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;eating a lot of food for a few weeks, then eating practically nothing for the next few weeks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;refusing to eat certain foods&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;eating less than a sibling, neighbor kid, or cousin&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;being so excited by toys and people that he doesn't finish his meal&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;To get your child to eat at mealtimes, try these techniques:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sit down and eat the same food as your child.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Children often need to try a food many times before they like it.  Feed your child healthy foods for each meal, and be patient in the knowledge that they will probably eventually like them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;If your child is easily distracted, you can gently call his attention back to his food. Do this only occasionally, so that he does not feel pestered, and only do it when he's first starting his meal, so that he does not eat when he is no longer hungry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't worry&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also want to consider &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; you are pressuring your child to finish. Did her supper take a lot of work, and perhaps you don't want to see it wasted? Perhaps you should prepare &lt;strong&gt;lighter&lt;/strong&gt; suppers in the future. Are you worried that they will snack later? Why not buy some &lt;strong&gt;healthy snacks&lt;/strong&gt;, like apples, breakfast bars, or healthy crisps. Or, if you're worried about a snacking habit developing, perhaps you need to move around your dinner times a bit to suit your child's appetite?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to consider these things from your child's perspective, and remember they &lt;strong&gt;aren't&lt;/strong&gt; intentionally trying to waste food or annoy you. Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9063" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T20:50:51.977" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-13T23:06:09.163" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Absolutely do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; insist on finishing a meal, especially if you're the one who determined the portion size.  Your child may be genuinely full, and you're going to feel horrible if she throws up as a result of you overstuffing her against her will.  (It can happen!  She probably won't know how to tell you if she is feeling ill.)  It's pretty difficult for children to intentionally starve themselves.  On average, they'll consume just the right amount.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exceptions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she just asked for a huge helping of seconds, against your advice to eat in moderation, then I'd give her a stern lecture about wasting food.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she is just two bites short of finishing everything, encourage her to finish.  In such cases, cleaning the plate is an issue of politeness, not of appetite.  You won't be causing eating disorders with just two more bites.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My house rules:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wrap up leftovers and set them aside.  If she's hungry later, bring out the same food again.  Otherwise, they'll say they're &quot;not hungry&quot; as a ploy to get something different to eat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Corollary: If you're not hungry enough to finish dinner, you're not hungry enough to have dessert.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there's a consistent pattern of being not hungry at standard mealtimes, adjust exercise and snacks as appropriate (including sugary drinks).  Check with the daycare about the timing and content of their afternoon snack, if dinner is a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2014-06-15T17:42:17.567" LastActivityDate="2014-06-15T17:42:17.567" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11800" CreationDate="2014-06-14T00:57:53.447" Score="5" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Yes&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2583786/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;paper published in &lt;em&gt;Hormones and Behavior&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; by Janice M. Hassett, Erin R. Siebert, and Kim Wallen (citations elided):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toy play is one of the most robust human behavioral sex differences, showing moderate to very large effect sizes. [Boys] interact more with masculine-type toys than do girls, and girls interact more with feminine-type toys than do boys. Within each sex, boys typically show strong preferences for stereotypically masculine toys, while girls often do not show a statistically greater preference for one toy type over another. Thus sex differences in toy preferences are characterized by stronger gender-specific preferences in boys than in girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Socialization &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; represent one hypothesis for this preference. If correct, it suggests that people in my twins' life influenced (perhaps incidentally) my son to chose balls, not dolls. But the study suggests another possibility:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast to the socialization perspective this view posits that toy preferences reflect preferences for specific activities, such as active manipulation or cradling, facilitated by specific features of toys and that these activity biases result from the different prenatal hormonal environments of boys and girls. According to this perspective, boys’ and girls’ toy preferences reflect differences in their preference for specific activities and they thus seek out toys that facilitate those preferred activities. The “pink” and “blue” aisles in toy stores thus reflect marked gender preferences for activities and not necessarily societal imposition of gender norms on boys and girls. The socialization and activity bias viewpoints do not resolve the sex differences in the magnitude of the preference for gender specific toys. The more marked preference in boys than girls could reflect either that boys have stronger predispositions to a more limited set of activities, or alternatively that boys’ toy choices are more strongly socially constrained than are girls’ choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study examined the activity preference hypothesis by testing the preferences of juvenile rhesus monkeys. They provided the group with the choice of one plush and one wheeled toy&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; to play with for 25 minutes. As with studies of human children, males strongly prefered &amp;quot;boy's toys&amp;quot; and females showed no strong preference. Since these primates do not have strong sexual differentiation in socialization&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;, the authors propose that masculine toys accommodate masculine activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our children, we can't eliminate social pressures, but the research suggests a biological explanation. &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgen&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Androgen&lt;/a&gt; has been shown to influence activity preferences:&#xA;boys like rough and tumble play. Therefore boys will seek objects that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affordance&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;afford&lt;/a&gt; that sort of activity. Confirming the connection, it's been shown that human girls with &amp;quot;elevated prenatal adrenal androgen secretion&amp;quot; also prefer masculine toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that my son has shown a preference for balls, my mother-in-law encourages him in his throwing activities. So, at least in my experience, socialization helps solidify preferences, but doesn't introduce them. Observations of my daughter suggest that she prefers quieter play, as a rule. We put plush toys in their cribs and invariably the boy tosses them over the edge and his sister will be clutching something (usually a blanket). So again, when socialization is removed from the equation, my twins turn out to have very stereotypical behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The seven plush toys were: Winnie-the-Pooh™, Raggedy-Ann™, a koala bear hand puppet, an armadillo, a teddy bear, Scooby-Doo™, and a turtle. The sizes ranged in length from about 14 cm to 73 cm. The six wheeled toys were: a wagon, a truck, a car, a construction vehicle, a shopping cart, and a dump truck. These ranged in length from 16 to 46 cm. Plush and wheeled toys varied considerably in shape and color as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Monkeys live in a socially complex world with substantial maternal support, but differential maternal treatment of males and females is limited to maternal retrieval in response to infant distress and physical inspection of their infant’s genitals (Wallen, 2005). Sex differences in maternal treatment do not include preventing their male or female offspring from engaging in opposite-sex typed behavior or in encouraging them to interact with specific objects (Wallen, 2005).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-06-14T00:57:53.447" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-14T01:15:02.817" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our policy has always been &quot;stop eating when you're full&quot;. Three girls, all in excellent shape (soccer and gymnastics helps). If they leave food on their plate - well, I'm not entirely thrilled, but IMO better that than forcing them to eat just for the sake of a clean plate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6398" LastEditorUserId="6398" LastEditDate="2014-06-15T02:09:06.910" LastActivityDate="2014-06-15T02:09:06.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14036" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-14T02:50:58.530" Score="2" ViewCount="445" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our child has 5 months now. He got vaccinated and got fever this evening. His temperature increased to 101.5 °F (38.6 °C). We have given him the medicine that his pediatrician suggested. But we wonder what extra care that we can take him to get down the fever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the doctor's specific instructions (the medicine), is there anything we can do to make our child comfortable and speed his recovery?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="4568" LastEditDate="2014-07-09T12:04:28.750" LastActivityDate="2014-07-09T12:07:24.077" Title="How to comfort our infant with fever?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-14T10:32:32.230" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three boys, 6 - 17 years of age. They are slim and fit, and we never make them eat. Ever. They have learned to self-regulate their intake. If hungry, they eat, if not, they don't. If they cannot finish, it's fine. They rarely take more food at the table.&#xA;In-laws would negotiate and complain about them not finishing food. I put a stop to it. Basically, wanting to stop eating implies that self-regulation is working properly. Overriding it is a mistake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9070" LastActivityDate="2014-06-14T10:32:32.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14036" CreationDate="2014-06-14T13:00:49.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you need to discuss this with a qualified medical professional, not get advice from a bunch of random strangers on Internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, 3 main things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The MAIN potential cause of problems in a young child when feverish is dehydration. So hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Milk. Or Pedialyte if you have that sold. Or even water.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fever itself is NOT considered dangerous unless above 104 °F (40 °C) (I even saw 107 °F (41.7 °C) figures in some places). So there's no great need to take special steps to specifically bring down the child's temperature, like iuprofen or other such medicine.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you wish the child to be comforted, warm water sponge bath helps. And make sure they are in well aired area, NOT swaddled in hot cloths. You want air circulation to cool them down, not hot cloths to keep the heat in.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further references:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/treat-symptoms-12/cold-flu-dehydration-child&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/treat-symptoms-12/cold-flu-dehydration-child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://umm.edu/health/medical/ency/articles/fever&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://umm.edu/health/medical/ency/articles/fever&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emedicinehealth.com/fever_in_children/page6_em.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.emedicinehealth.com/fever_in_children/page6_em.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="4568" LastEditDate="2014-07-09T12:07:24.077" LastActivityDate="2014-07-09T12:07:24.077" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14039" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14040" CreationDate="2014-06-14T13:07:19.953" Score="4" ViewCount="2097" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is a common scenario where an introverted teenage boy (14-18) would shun socializing with girls, for varying reasons. Obviously, this is a self-reinforcing cycle (you can't get more skilled and comfortable with approaching the opposite sex without practicing it {reference: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/12/20/how-to-be-awesome-at-approaching-people/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;popular &quot;Nerd Fitness&quot; blog's series of articles on leveling up your social skills by Lindsay Miller&lt;/a&gt;}).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are some practical steps that parents can take to &lt;em&gt;help&lt;/em&gt; an introverted teenager to start trying to socialize, especially with opposite sex?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advice should center specifically on overcoming the issues that cause an introvert to shy away from such an activity (to give an incomplete starter list: fear of rejection, fear of being made fun of, low self esteem, lack of awareness of HOW to approach someone, lack of conversational skills, high preference of solitary or nerdy activities, low existing social status among age peers, self perceived image issues).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assume that the teenager is &lt;strong&gt;interested&lt;/strong&gt; in socializing, but is unable to overcome his issues to act on that interest (as opposed to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/13965/how-can-i-help-my-son-develop-a-social-life-how-can-i-prevent-him-becoming-soci&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; which asks about encouraging such an interest in the first place).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;s/girls/boys/ if the teen is homosexual. But anecdotally, shy introverted teenagers are more susceptible to this than homosexual ones who are out of the closet... and clearly for the ones who aren't being shy isn't their main concern&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T02:00:19.770" Title="What are the steps parents of an introverted teenager can take to help him to socialize with girls?" Tags="|socialization|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14039" CreationDate="2014-06-14T13:51:04.570" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The fears you mention create a high-pressure situation for a teen, so your first goal should be to reduce pressure. Many young men do not socialize easily with girls until they are in their 20s. Make sure your son realizes that he will gradually get more comfortable with it in his own time. There is such a huge difference between the high school social scene and the college one - most notably that there are a lot more people in most universities, which includes a lot more girls that may be equally shy or attracted to shyness. So while he has in this instance set a goal to be more comfortable with girls, he needs to know that while he may struggle with it now, it &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; get easier as he ages. Try to stop that self-reinforcing cycle you describe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few suggestions to get started:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Join clubs or groups that include girls. Being in a group that has a common focus gives a ready topic of discussion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a job that includes customer service. Facing customers of all stripes gives you a chance to practice brief interactions with strangers (some of which will be girls).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Girls in high school struggle with the fact that often boys are interested in them in a physical way, and they really enjoy friendships with boys where a physical relationship does not seem to be the goal. Be friendly with no evidence of flirting or over-attention. Offer to help with something with no strings attached. Be nice but unobtrusive. Girls will warm to you because you are safe. Eventually a closer relationship may develop, and in the meantime, you are practicing talking to girls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you can practice talking to girls in an environment other than school (like work, church, a charity where you volunteer, a book store or library), then you can avoid some of the teasing that sometimes goes with developing this skill amongst your peers at high school.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Re-reading your question, I realize that this is not just about girls. So a final couple of suggestion:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Follow your interests. Develop fully into who you are. You will attract people of a like mind. If you love video games, go to a gaming night at the library or game store. Love to read? Hang out in a book store. Like to build things? Join a maker group of some kind. Care about the environment? Volunteer at an environmental organization. Love to hike? Join a trail taming group. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As a parent, demonstrate social skills. Take your son into social situations, and do not speak for him. Include him in conversations with others (ask him questions while in conversation with others), make sure he orders his own food when you eat out, etc. Each time he gets through an uncomfortable conversation, his confidence will grow, so giving him opportunities with the safety of you nearby may help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2014-06-14T13:57:55.720" LastActivityDate="2014-06-14T13:57:55.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14041" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-14T15:26:24.380" Score="0" ViewCount="2967" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy will be 8 in a month or so. We've been watching &quot;American Ninja Warrior&quot; and he's really impressed at watching people work out and train in gyms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a pre-teen (10-11) my parents got me a chin up bar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he is under 10 and still developing: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Should I wait to get a chin-up bar or is it safe at this age and it won't affect his physical development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastActivityDate="2014-06-15T02:15:38.213" Title="Is there a proper age for a chin up bar?" Tags="|development|growth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14042" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-14T15:49:26.450" Score="7" ViewCount="1434" Body="&lt;p&gt;I apologize for vague subject, feel free to edit a better one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our child has very severe pollen allergy leading to heavy asthma (a year ago he had to be taken to ER with major asthma attack, after mere 2 days outside).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Together with the child's pediatrician, we have developed a plan to manage the condition (he is on steroids when needed, and is restricted from going outside in spring/summer months when either the pollen count is high or his breathing volume is below pediatrician's preferred value).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;IMPORTANT: The plan is flexible. She (and us) is comfortable with him going outside if the conditions are auspicious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, the school (elementary school in USA, ages 7-11) has been very understanding and accommodating. During outdoor recess, they would allow him to be indoors when needed, and followed our daily written instructions on whether he's allowed outside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then trouble arouse. A school nurse called us and said &lt;strong&gt;she had a couple of complaints from some unnamed parent that our child wasn't allowed outside&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She apologized and said that they can get in major trouble because of that, and from that point on, they require a formal letter from pediatrician that prohibits going outside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue with that is that, AFTER such a letter was given, they are no longer allowed to let him outside AT ALL - even on days when according to pediatrician's rules he's OK to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;strong&gt;because of that anonymous parents' meddling&lt;/strong&gt;, our child was denied the opportunity to either be outside or play with his classmates during outdoor recess on those days when pollen is low.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school refused to tell us who the parent was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do we have a recourse against an anonymous parent making our child's life harder by ensuring he's 100% cooped up even on days he doesn't have to be?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only rational course (have the doctor write the detailed plan of when he's allowed outside) was no-go with the school - they said they can not take on such a flexible plan they would be responsible for; even though they were/are fine with US making such a decision before the complaint was made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9072" LastEditorUserId="9072" LastEditDate="2014-06-14T15:59:13.690" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T08:01:07.573" Title="Do we have a recourse against an anonymous parent making our child's life harder?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14042" CreationDate="2014-06-14T17:34:40.860" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child has a disability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In England they would have to make reasonable adjustments under disability discrimination laws.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what the laws are where you are.  I'd suggest that you write a letter to the school with the plan -- inside when pollen is high, outside when pollen is low (and you can tell the school each day?) and remind them of their duty to make reasonable adjustments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea why the school is listening to some other parent.  Put that in the letter too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-06-14T17:34:40.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14042" CreationDate="2014-06-14T18:21:30.617" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's bizarre that the school would pay attention to the other parent, who probably had no clue what was going on. However, your issue is not with the other parent, it's with the school. The school's behavior sounds completely unreasonable, but presumably it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; seem reasonable to them, based on their information and priorities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most likely what happened was that the other parent's actions put the situation on administrators' radar, and those administrators began to think about liability. They took the path that seemed to them to result in zero financial risk: your kid doesn't die, so they don't get sued. Your kid's unhappiness, social isolation, and lack of exercise don't enter into the equation, because the administrators don't see those as liability issues. This is just my third-hand reading of the probable situation, and it could be wrong. But if this is what's going on, the thing to do is start escalating the issue so that they can't ignore it. Send a paper letter to the school's principal requesting a meeting about this issue. If that doesn't work, you could contact your elected school board member, or talk to parents of other disabled kids in your school district; those parents will have had plenty of experience having to act as advocates for their kids, and can probably advise you on effective strategies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without being a jerk, making threats, or jumping to conclusions, plant the idea in these administrators' brains that what they're doing &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a potential liability issue. Disabled kids in public schools in the US are protected by title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Noncompliance with the ADA is serious stuff. If you have enough money to hire a lawyer, make a decision about whether that's a path you are willing to take if the school keeps being unreasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9075" LastActivityDate="2014-06-14T18:21:30.617" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-14T18:52:24.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put less effort into clarifying your expectations and more into clarifying the consequences of not living up to your expectations. So far it seems that you are providing your son with positive rather than negative reinforcement for his lawyerly behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have age-appropriate expectations. At age 8, a kid doesn't need to be forced to drink his juice; he is old enough to pour his own drink, and to understand that he shouldn't pour himself something that he doesn't intend to drink, because that's wasteful. At age 8, a kid who throws something that hits his sister is old enough to understand, without being told, that in such a situation, (1) regardless of whether it was really your fault, you apologize immediately, because that's the way nice people behave when they hurt someone else; (2) you need to figure out how to keep it from happening again in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9075" LastActivityDate="2014-06-14T18:52:24.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14046" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-14T23:22:46.360" Score="0" ViewCount="266" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I bought a present for a child and gave it to the parents before the child's birthday because my family and I were going to be out of town, then later the parents have a birthday party, do I get the child another gift?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9085" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-07T16:00:34.930" LastActivityDate="2018-11-07T16:00:34.930" Title="If I bought a present for a child, gave it to the parents and later they have a birthday party, do I get them another gift?" Tags="|presents|etiquette|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14042" CreationDate="2014-06-15T02:03:41.293" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many districts (including my own) have policies against leaving students inside a room unsupervised, but we often turn a blind eye when we know we can trust a particular student. We can't when we're forced to see it by some meddling fool. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, they may not have felt they could tell the other parent they were complying with medical directions and to butt out without violating your son's privacy, and were unwilling to tell the other parent to raise her own kids, not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I'd take the doctor's orders in to the principal's office and explain what they say, what they mean, and exactly what they will be doing for your son. If the orders are clear, and if you are clear, you should wrap this up in 15 minutes. Don't be rude, don't be loud, but do be assertive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-06-15T02:03:41.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14041" CreationDate="2014-06-15T02:15:38.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, almost by definition a chin up bar will affect his physical development -- that's the point, right?  It affects it in a positive way.  If it is set at the right height and proper supervision is given so that he doesn't try any &quot;creative&quot; means of using the chin up bar (yes, we've all been there and have found our own ways of doing things which we no longer think were such bright ideas), then what can be the harm? -- He's lifting his head above a bar using his own strength and against his own body weight.  If he were 3 foot tall and 300lbs, this would be quite a challenge and unlikely to succeed, but then I'd suggest you wouldn't be asking this particular question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-06-15T02:15:38.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14046" CreationDate="2014-06-15T03:10:22.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Only if you want to.  Both the parents and the child will know the gift has been given.  The only difference between giving it before and during the party is who knows.  If in your area of the planet everyone knowing is important, then make it known; otherwise, it is already known by those who matter, so party on!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-06-15T03:10:22.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14029" CreationDate="2014-06-15T09:18:27.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The amount of milk breasts produce depends on the demand. If demand increases, then so does production. Just give it a day or two in which you regularly let the child(ren) suck, and the amount produced will increase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-09-15T06:15:14.127" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T06:15:14.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-15T18:59:08.653" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You absolutely should not.  Obesity is epidemic in the western world.  It's less of a waste to throw food out than to overeat with it, and a middle solution is to refrigerate or freeze it.  Or give the food to the dog.  (Not surprisingly, having a dog has been linked to living longer.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was overweight from ages 27 to 40, and it not only damaged my knees, but it put me at higher risk for cancer, diabetes, and heart attacks.  It made it much harder to get a date as well.  Prof. Walter Willett at Harvard has some good layman books about what you should eat, although if you're hard-core then you can read his medschool textbook.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to save food then make sure your refrigerator has a thermometer in it (as is required for restaurants) and that the temperature is kept slightly above freezing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, on rare occasions a kid won't like some food because there is actually something wrong with it.  I remember when I was 7 going to a restaurant and being ordered by my grandparents to finish a bowl of frosted flakes.  My uncle noticed that it was very unusual for me to loose interest in frosted flakes, and so he smelled it.  The milk was sour, but I had a bad cold at the time and couldn't smell/taste very well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone ever tells your kid to eat up because of the people starving somewhere in the world then invite them to drink your bathwater: Indeed there are also people dying of thirst.  Shouldn't we all feel guilty?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9104" LastActivityDate="2014-06-15T18:59:08.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14046" CreationDate="2014-06-15T23:25:12.093" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, the family knows that you have already given the child a gift. If you feel more comfortable showing up with &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; for your own satisfaction, or so others won't think you showed up/didn't give Jr. a gift at all, there are a few options. Take a card, slip $5 in it if you'd like, get a small/inexpensive accessory or coordinating piece to be used with the original gift: say you bought a racetrack for those little cars (sorry, I have a girl!)....get a couple more little cars to go with...bought a DVD of Spider-Man..get a little SM action figure or cool SM reusable tumbler. That way, should they open the gifts at the party, you can just say something like 'I wanted to get you something to use with the 'real' (laugh) gift I gave you a few weeks ago' or 'I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying the Batman car I gave you a bit early, so when I saw this 'xyz', I couldn't resist adding to my original gift.‘ On the other hand, nobody should fault you for not bringing another gift, and probably won't even notice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9107" LastActivityDate="2014-06-15T23:25:12.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-16T00:04:16.663" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First a bit of anecdotal evidence :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was young, I remember not wanting to eat some spaghetti my mum had made. When I adamantly refused, saying I wasn't hungry, she said ok and had me stand in the corner. It wasn't long before I got hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read the answers here and I've got a different take. I know food's abundant in highly developed countries, which can give way to obesity and &quot;aversion to foods&quot; lasting until adulthood. Wow, what a luck society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what countries that cannot afford food on the table three times a day? While we throw out our vegetables, etc, these people would happily eat them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is, the reason why your daughter (and everyone else!) should finish their plate, is because we shouldn't take food for granted. There are still people who can't enjoy the privileges we have and I think that's good enough a reason to clean a plate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9108" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T00:04:16.663" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-16T02:21:41.307" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another anecdote, from an Asian background. When I was growing up, we generally wouldn't have individual portions set out for us on our plates at mealtimes. All the food would be seen as &quot;shared&quot; food - it would be set out in the middle of the table, and we'd start off with a plate of rice (often dished out by negotiation) and help ourselves and others to the food with a focus on not taking more than you can eat (and also not being selfish and depriving others at the table). If you take it, you eat it. Once you put it on your plate, it's a commitment. Not wasting was strongly emphasised. But by helping yourself incrementally to shared food, you really self-regulate and aren't in the position where you &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to eat it just because it's on your plate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It should be noted that this wasn't consciously &quot;taught&quot; or anything - it was just how it was. It was initially surprising to go over to friends' places for dinner and find that your plate came pre-loaded (in my case, often with more than I could eat. I'd eat it anyway because I didn't want to waste it. But it felt like having to go through with a commitment that I didn't make). It was only in later life that I started actually thinking about these dinner differences - I found that shared food helped me realise my own eating limit, and I'm glad that this was a practice I grew up with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9111" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T02:21:41.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14029" CreationDate="2014-06-16T02:33:50.910" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You shouldn't have anything to worry about, since milk production increases to keep up with demand. This is why it's possible for a woman to feed, say, twins. When the baby is no longer breastfeeding, the breasts stop producing milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only problems you might encounter would be extremely short-term, unless your wife has supply issues. If this is the case, a lactation consultant can be of help. (Visits with one are covered by many insurance plans.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Strategies to ensure a healthy supply include pumping while away from the baby/babies, and massaging to express milk. For more information: &lt;a href=&quot;http://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/MaxProduction.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Maximizing Milk Production with Hands On Pumping&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4798" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T02:33:50.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14060" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14061" CreationDate="2014-06-16T03:29:05.533" Score="2" ViewCount="818" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 3 weeks old. She is good at both breastfeeding and formula. However, most of the time she won't do a pacifier.  She will &lt;em&gt;sometimes&lt;/em&gt; take a pacifier (it's a matter of seconds until she quits), but generally she doesn't want to have anything to do with it at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Our motivation:&lt;/strong&gt; When she &lt;em&gt;actually does take one&lt;/em&gt;, she calms down and seems to relax. My wife and I tend to agree that breastfeeding is what we want to do, but she'll normally fall asleep only when she eats.  Therefore, our daughter has trouble falling asleep unless she's feeding from my wife or a bottle. I feel bad because my wife often has a bottle &quot;on-demand&quot; (for obvious reasons), and I've been trying to help out where I can... Any thoughts or suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6750" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-29T16:50:30.280" LastActivityDate="2018-08-30T09:58:21.890" Title="What to do when a 3-week-old newborn won't take a pacifier?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|pacifier|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14060" CreationDate="2014-06-16T03:32:17.423" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may not like to hear this, but how about not giving her a pacifier?  I grew up without ever having one.  My daughter is well beyond that age and never had one.  My mother always told me (unverified) that they increase the chances you'll need braces.  It doesn't harm her not to have one, so why worry?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T03:32:17.423" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14042" CreationDate="2014-06-16T15:22:13.570" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Government schools are in an interesting position.  On one hand, they are a near monopoly, which means they can get away with quite a bit and not lose customers.  On the other hand, they are beset with mandates and regulations and court orders, and don't get paid extra for doing a better job meeting those mandates.  This creates an environment where they are incentivized to meet the letter of the law and no further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cynic in me would not be surprised if the anonymous parent was completely made up, to cover for an aide who is annoyed at never knowing whether she will be able to go outside at recess or stay in with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your options are private school, homeschool, or threaten to sue.  Keep in mind with the latter that it can always get worse before it gets better.  At one point, our daughter with cerebral palsy was being sent home early two days or more per week, for minor things like a flushed face or being a little tired.  Of course, after the minimum time for counting as an instructional day.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had other hassles about constantly needing new doctor's orders and not being allowed to take the bus, and our son's school was utterly incapable of handling his ADHD-like behavior.  With that huge inconvenience for us, we figured we may as well be homeschooling, and we've been very happy with that decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is, think long and hard before making more waves, and try to seek alternatives.  The last thing you want is an adversarial relationship between your son and his teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T15:22:13.570" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14064" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-16T16:41:52.683" Score="50" ViewCount="16887" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sadly these are her words, not mine. Why is this posted in this QA site? Because I can't see how it is good for the children that she (when my wife is not around) shouts at me in front of them; cuts across me when I'm talking to them; and takes them away from me when I'm playing with them, and they don't say no since she generally has some sort of sweet or present nearby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She claims to be an expert on childcare so anything I say is immediately shot down. I don't know what to do. I can't see that it's healthy for the kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I discipline them and they are sat out, she cuddles them. Is this simply my total lack of understanding of what grandparents are for (as mine were distant to say the least) or what? This has been going on now for four years and includes lies to my wife (which the MIL has admitted to me). I don't want to whine to my wife as she shouldn't be in the middle of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="3700" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T17:44:06.897" LastActivityDate="2014-07-04T07:22:13.497" Title="Should I stop my mother in law visiting when she doesn't respect me as the father figure?" Tags="|discipline|social-development|communication|grandparents|" AnswerCount="16" CommentCount="19" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14065" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-16T17:01:06.353" Score="7" ViewCount="8422" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have been together for 15 years and have always considered our relationship to be a healthy one. But parenthood has taken its toll and we cannot seem to agree on a number of parenting differences when it comes to our 7 month old daughter. For one, my husband seems to think there is nothing at all wrong with listing to vulgar/violent rap music at somewhat high volumes when he is driving in the car with our daughter. (I admit I like Eminem myself but refrain from listening to it until I'm by myself.) We also disagree on a number of other related issues but the rap music issue seems to be the most obvious and logical of the issues and yet nothing I say can convince him otherwise. His response is that doing what he has always done is the best parenting style since she will encounter that type of music on her own in the world. My response is that he is should be her role model and instead of exposing her to that, we should be protecting her from it. She needs to build a solid foundation and learn right from wrong right now. What do you all think? Please help!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9123" LastActivityDate="2020-10-06T17:24:16.773" Title="Is it okay to listen to rap music with violence and swear words when you're with your 7 month old?" Tags="|infant|parents|music|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-06-16T17:42:04.577" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, your daughter should finish the meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Food must be valued because it costs money and because living beings died - their deaths should at least be usefull to us. Sending food to trash sends a wrong message of waste and negligence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mentally, to leave food in the plate is a failure, to finish the meal is a success, it is allways better to achive the goal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is to give only the amount of  food that you are sure your daughter will eat. Then if she asks for more, give it to her, she will be proud of herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9119" LastEditorUserId="9119" LastEditDate="2023-09-06T10:37:40.140" LastActivityDate="2023-09-06T10:37:40.140" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-16T18:16:19.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though I understand your concerns with telling your wife, there is a major issue with this. You're going to tell her mother to not visit your wife's husband or you and your wife's children, which is your MIL's grandchildren. That will affect your wife, and if you don't let her in on why, you'll look like a bad guy no matter what. If you don't let her in on it, it will affect YOUR relationship with your wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, these are your kids. They aren't your MIL's children, so by not doing anything, you will be allowing your MIL to negatively influence the kids as much as you want. They'll grow up thinking you're wrong if she's around them a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest filming your MIL with a nanny cam so you can show your wife that she's lying. You and your wife are a team, and you need to act like it. Otherwise your wife won't trust you or your MIL and she won't feel comfortable having the kids around either of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9024" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T18:16:19.643" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14068" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14071" CreationDate="2014-06-16T18:36:22.863" Score="5" ViewCount="755" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 11-year-old daughter has become obsessed with a TV series that we won't let her watch. We have explained the reasoning as calmly as we could (without giving her all the details of course), and are pretty frank with her about the content to which we object. She keeps asking about it anyway, and we are having to shut down the inquiries pretty harshly which seems counter productive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any strategies for redirecting the interests of pre-teens? There are alternative choices in the same vein as the prohibited show but she won't bite on those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: We're talking about BBC's &quot;Sherlock&quot; which has a pretty central character who is played as a dominatrix. And in general I don't feel it is appropriate for her. We definitely deliberated on it though as it other than that probably fine for most pre-teens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9125" LastEditorUserId="9125" LastEditDate="2014-06-16T19:30:06.537" LastActivityDate="2014-07-23T04:17:13.513" Title="How do I get my pre-teen to stop asking to watch a TV show/movie?" Tags="|pre-teen|television|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-16T18:48:37.707" Score="77" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I can't see that it's healthy for the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I absolutely agree.  This is a &lt;strong&gt;major&lt;/strong&gt; problem, as your kids need to look up to you as an authority figure, and that will be very difficult if she's constantly undercutting your authority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is this simply my total lack of understanding of what grandparents are for (as mine were distant to say the least) or what?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not at all uncommon (in my limited experience) for grandparents (or even total strangers!) to try to step into roles that really belong to you and your wife, exclusively.  There is always a risk that anyone who considers themselves an &quot;experienced&quot; parent might decide that it is appropriate to step in when they feel you're doing it &quot;wrong&quot; (note that &quot;wrong&quot; in this case is almost always just &quot;not exactly the same way I'd do it&quot;, which is by no means &lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt; wrong).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what the relationship, this is &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; appropriate (with the sole exception of if they honestly believe that harmful negligence or abuse is occurring).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't want to whine to my wife as she shouldn't be in the middle of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's where I disagree with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife &lt;strong&gt;needs&lt;/strong&gt; to be involved in this.  Not only is she your children's mother, it is also her mother that is causing the problem.  At the very least, she needs to be on board with, and supportive of, any action you take regarding interactions with your mother-in-law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to have the talk when there is some time before your mother-in-law's next visit (hopefully she isn't coming by every week!).  This will give your wife time to process it, and to have further discussions with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by focusing on how &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; feel, rather than complaining about what your mother is doing (e.g. &quot;I feel like I'm not allowed to be the father, if every time I say something I get overruled&quot; instead of &quot;she keeps undermining my authority, and she coddles the kids whenever I try to set rules&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If (when) your wife comments on how she wasn't aware that some of this was going on, you can explain that you've talked about it directly with your MIL, and that your MIL acknowledged to you that she doesn't always tell your wife the truth.  Then point out that this has been going on for a long time, but that you've been reluctant to bring it up with her out of concern that it would put your wife in the middle, and create a &quot;he said, she said&quot; situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Come up with a clear plan with your wife.  I'd suggest that, rather than banning your MIL from coming over, you propose that the three of you sit down and talk together.  You and your wife should come up with clear rules that you'd like to propose (such as that if you tell your kids that they can't do something, or hand out a punishment, your mother in law is not allowed to overrule you; or &quot;no shouting allowed&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've established your ground rules, the three of you should sit down, and discuss them.  Don't bring up any past behavior.  Just start the discussion by saying that you want to ensure that the children have the best upbringing possible, and that you'd appreciate your MIL's help by cooperating with some basic ground rules.  Point out up front that you and your wife came up with these rules together, and have put serious thought into them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the discussion goes poorly, then at least your wife will have been a direct witness to the problem (so remember to stay calm; every bit of bad behavior from your MIL during this meeting only makes your position stronger!), and the two of you can follow up privately to discuss how you want to proceed (which may involve stricter restrictions, such as ensuring that your MIL can only be over when your wife is present).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T18:48:37.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-16T18:48:58.597" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whether she realises it consciously or not, she is directly undermining and interfering with your ability to parent your children. She is not their parent, nor their legal guardian, and has no right to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you handle this depends on whether it's just you and the kids, or you and your wife with the kids, when she is present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're with your wife, how you address this needs to be a team effort or you're doomed to fail. Talk with your wife about this problem. Point her to this question, even! Her mother is crossing over the line between how she manages her relationship with her grandchildren, to managing &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; relationship with &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; children. That's not her prerogative, but you need your wife's cooperation if you're going to start saying &quot;no&quot; to Grandma, otherwise Grandma is just going to go around you and appeal to your wife to get her way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're on your own with the kids, you are absolutely within your rights to refuse your MIL's requests to visit, or to flatly tell her to go away if she stages a surprise visit. Of course, this will result in her pulling your wife into this, since someone who behaves how you've described is very unlikely to take &quot;no&quot; gracefully. So, again, you need to be a team with your wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife's relationship with her mother may be such that saying &quot;no&quot; to her will be hard for your wife. (I think this is likely, since controlling behaviour like described is not the kind of thing that just suddenly appears when grandchildren are born, so likely &quot;my way or the highway&quot; was Grandma's relationship with her daughter as well.) Because she may have a hard time saying &quot;no&quot; to her own mother, you might have a long and difficult road ahead in changing this dynamic. You will have to get a clear sense of your own boundaries, and enforce them for yourself. You will also have to respect that setting and enforcing boundaries for herself is your wife's responsibility and can't be done &quot;for&quot; her (how ironic would that be otherwise!), so you'll have to exercise patience. You will also need to set boundaries between yourself and &lt;em&gt;your wife&lt;/em&gt; should your teamwork be less than 100%, since Grandma will be putting pressure on her to convince you to stop saying &quot;no&quot; to Grandma, and if your teamwork isn't 100% that means your wife will be siding with Grandma at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set firm boundaries, enforce them calmly but without compromise, but expect that the results will not be ideal. Someone who is controlling and used to getting their way has developed lots of strategies for compliance, which will mostly involve painting you as the bad guy, guilt trips, and trying to make you miserable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Calmly and firmly enforcing boundaries is usually as simple as developing your one-sentence response and repeating it until they stop arguing or go away. &quot;Thanks for the offer, but we're not available for visiting today.&quot; Yes, repeating this (or something like it) will feel silly after a while since you're not responding to their argument points, but that is the point: you're not engaging with their attempts to turn your &quot;no&quot; into a &quot;yes&quot;. You might feel silly, but they will feel even sillier the longer they try to force the non-conversation to continue. It's even easier on the phone, as you can say, &quot;Thanks again, goodbye,&quot; and hang up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(It may also feel silly if you don't have a &quot;good reason&quot; for not being available, but that doesn't matter: you're saying &quot;no&quot;, that's all the justification you need, and repeating the silly-seeming phrase serves to make it abundantly obvious exactly how much &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; is refusing to accept your right to say &quot;no.&quot; Soothing the other person's feelings during a rejection is something you reserve for people who respect the difference between &quot;no&quot; and &quot;yes&quot;; people who ignore your right to say &quot;no&quot; have not earned the benefit of their feelings being soothed, especially when they're trying to use your urge to soothe their feelings against you to get you to capitulate.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If possible, move far away from Grandma. Drastic, but the benefit of distance is incomparable when dealing with a controlling grandparent. Don't move just to get away from Grandma, but if the opportunity presents itself, weight this on the &quot;pro&quot; side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2888" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T18:48:58.597" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14068" CreationDate="2014-06-16T19:15:42.247" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're generally taking the right tack on this - explaining your reasoning calmly.  You don't give a lot of other details, so some of these may be what you're already doing, but here's what I'd do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you might want to do as the next step, if you're not already doing this, is let your child know when, or under what conditions, she &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; be allowed to watch the show.  It might be in a year or two, it might be not until she's an adult - but having that point be known will help, because when she asks you can simply point to that.  Let's say this is something like Supernatural, which is probably not appropriate for a 10 year old but may be for a 13 year old.  After you've told her she can watch it when she's 13, if she asks again, you can simply say &quot;Dear, are you 13 yet?&quot; or variations of that - reminding her of the point at which she can watch it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another consideration is if this is a series based on a book - like Game of Thrones or True Blood - to suggest she reads the book.  Those are both series that probably aren't appropriate for a preteen, but the books are perhaps manageable for some that age (I'd have read either at that age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, think about where the source of the conflict arises.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this something you watch that she wants to watch?  If so, you may want to consider not watching it as one way to deal with the issue, or watching it with friends at their house, and not talking about it around her.  If you told me I couldn't watch something, but then talked about yourself watching it around me, I'd be annoyed too.  Alternately, you could agree to tell her what happens in each episode if she wants to know (such as to keep up with her friends), editing out the bits you don't need to tell her about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, is this something her friends watch?  That's more difficult, I imagine, since you're telling her you are making a different decision than her friends' parents.  If that's the case you might want to clarify that in the question as that kind of advice is fairly specific to that issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if she's just persistent, you might try to find other ways to redirect.  If another show in the same genre isn't helping, you might try other activities - such as games, books, or even writing about the characters or story behind the TV series.  Odds are you can find some way to tell her about the plot and/or the characters - a book, a comic book, a plot summary online, or even a personally delivered plot summary like above.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T19:15:42.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-16T19:56:06.440" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of parents and grandparents think they are experts in raising children.  If she were an expert in childcare she wouldn't do thing like use sweets or blatantly undermine you in front of the children, she would give you advice or set an example.  Talk to your wife about her mother and set boundaries, these are your children and your home and her level of involvement in their lives is up to you and your wife.  Sometimes parents become children when they get older and need boundaries as much as any child.  My MIL lives with us and it is extremely difficult to get them to follow your rules for raising your children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9128" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T19:56:06.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14065" CreationDate="2014-06-16T20:00:28.280" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, it's okay.&lt;/strong&gt; If it's any consolation, the subject matter doesn't register with your daughter -- &lt;em&gt;yet!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;But&lt;/strong&gt; this will soon change, so you're right to address it ahead of that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Becoming parents means learning how to raise a well-rounded kid, but it also means learning which of your old habits to let go of -- at least for a couple of years. There are going to be compromises, and some are easier than others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to understand what reasons and thoughts your spouse has about this issue. Where are his limits in regard to subject matter? (That comment about watching porn may be provocative, but it is meaningful because surely he will have some limits.) What kind of words would he not want his daughter to yell in the supermarket, or at Thanksgiving with the extended family?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forget about even trying to convert him to your opinion before understand his point of view. You must understand him in order to present arguments that exist in his perception. Without that, your arguments will only be from &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; point of view, and futile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T20:00:28.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14065" CreationDate="2014-06-16T20:27:51.297" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even some of the MCs known for their notorious lyrics don't feel that they are suitable for children's ears. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To quote &lt;a href=&quot;http://houstonsoreal.blogspot.com/2005/01/interview-with-willie-d-geto-boys.html&quot;&gt;Willie D&lt;/a&gt; of the Ghetto Boys (censored a bit):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Interviewer: Well that’s strange to hear coming from the guy who wrote&#xA;  “Let a Hoe Be a Hoe.” Those songs were extremely explicit and you’re&#xA;  worried about the late night porn on the TV? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Willie D: No doubt, cuz I got kids. If it was just for me it wouldn’t&#xA;  be a problem. But just like you gotta let a hoe be a hoe, you gotta&#xA;  let a kid be a kid. Even though I make explicit music, that don’t mean&#xA;  that I should be sitting up in the house writing my song and my&#xA;  daughter come in the room and I say “Hey, tell me what this sound like&#xA;  – I f****d the b**** in her a** and then I…” You know what I’m sayin’?&#xA;  That don’t mean that my kids need to be hearing that s***. See what’s&#xA;  happening today is the parents today, they lazy. They don’t want to&#xA;  take no motherf*****’ responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An opposing viewpoint comes from &lt;a href=&quot;http://m.newsbusters.org/blogs/tim-graham/2014/06/16/rapper-ice-cube-still-backs-obama-black-kid-white-school-don-t-nobody-wa&quot;&gt;Ice Cube&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;LUSCOMBE: When did you introduce your music to your kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;ICE CUBE: As young as they can sit in the car and roll with me. If I’m&#xA;  listening to my demo, they listening to my demo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;LUSCOMBE: Okay, so that’s my kids, too, and now my kids have terrible&#xA;  language. Do your kids have terrible language?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;ICE CUBE: Sometimes! [Smiling] But you know all kids got crazy&#xA;  language. They talk a different language. As long as they can get it&#xA;  together when it’s time, I’m fine with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;LUSCOMBE: So you are fine with whatever they want to say in the house,&#xA;  you don’t say –&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;ICE CUBE: Ah, no, no -- no, no. No bad language in the house. My thing&#xA;  is, I know kids cuss, they do their thing, but I tell my kids don’t do&#xA;  it in earshot of any adults or you’re in trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your specific question of &quot;is it OK?&quot; I think the answer is highly dependent on the parenting you and your husband are providing. Though two of the most famous gangster rap artists differ on opinion a bit, it appears they are both highly involved parents and, ultimately, that is probably all that matters. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T20:27:51.297" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-16T20:46:44.217" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your MIL is trying to make up for something with her effort to be a better parent than you are. Whether this is personal, linked to you or to your wife I cannot say, but there is one thing for sure: this will have severe impact on the mental health of your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your role must be the father to your children. Whether this is an authority role or something else is up to your style of parenting, but what your MIL is doing is to &quot;teach&quot; your children that you are not worthy of them. This will be reflected by your children and can result in a trauma of not having a real dad, or them considering not to be worthy as a child for you, or other severe issues. This can (depending on how it is handled) cause deeply rooted depressions your children might have to suffer from for a life-time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A reasonable course of action would be to at first make it absolutely clear to your MIL that you are the father and she can be a grandmother but nothing more. And that raising your children is your task and that of your wife. You should preferably keep your children away from all those discussions as it sounds that it is likely to run into a strong argument between you two, and it will definitely help if your wife is backing up your side in such an argument. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might help if you make clear to your MIL that this will have consequences for the children and that this is the main reason why you restrict her doing, so that she understands that what she is doing is wrong and that this is not you or someone else hating her (which she probably bring to the table as an argument). Depending on how she takes it, it might be a good idea to seek professional help on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T20:46:44.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14076" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14145" CreationDate="2014-06-16T21:58:26.947" Score="9" ViewCount="6600" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are going on holiday with our 3 month old, where it will hopefully be sunny. Given that we won't ever be leaving her in direct sunlight, is there any reason or recommendation for very young children to wear sunglasses? She already has a very nice range of sun hats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastEditorUserId="7304" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T15:55:34.187" LastActivityDate="2014-10-05T19:26:00.767" Title="Should I get sunglasses for our baby?" Tags="|infant|holidays|eyes|sunlight|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14068" CreationDate="2014-06-16T22:10:20.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this particular instance, Irene Adler only appears in two of the episodes (according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1475582/fullcredits?ref_=tt_ql_1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;imdb&lt;/a&gt;), although she is mentioned more often, and if I remember correctly, only &quot;A Scandal in Belgravia&quot; (season 2 episode 1) had a lot of objectionable content (you can review to make sure).  Personally, I would allow her to watch the other episodes, and just skip that one.  It will probably leave some plot holes, but that's better than missing out altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the pestering goes, in addition to the other suggestions you've received, I would add that if you want the pestering to stop, and the milder suggestions haven't worked, there has to be a consequence for the pestering itself.  You can decide what an appropriate consequence is, and at what level of pestering the consequence is triggered, but if there isn't one, she has nothing to lose and everything to gain by continuing to ask you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there's something to be said for learning about this stuff from you rather than her friends, although I completely support your decision to make sure the timing and circumstances are right.  However, keep in mind if her friends are being allowed to watch the show uncensored now, the topic will probably come up sooner rather than later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T22:10:20.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12589" CreationDate="2014-06-16T22:51:51.300" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would attempt to reason with the older child. Let him know that he had his times when he stayed home at that age, but now that he's getting to be a bigger kid the rules have changed. Also, that the younger child will also be on the &quot;reduced days off&quot; schedule that your oldest is on now. Our daughter has always responded well to a good explanation of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you very much for sharing this... My wife is pregnant with our second (due in 4 weeks) and our daughter just turned 5. I know I have some interesting experiences ahead of me, and this may well be one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-06-16T22:51:51.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14003" CreationDate="2014-06-17T01:34:58.420" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I get this kind of behaviour too, and found the most effective way of dealing with it is to congratulate my child on spotting the problem with my instructions (&lt;em&gt;&quot;Well played sir!&quot;&lt;/em&gt;), asking that they thought I meant (which they almost always know), and asking for them to do that.  This seems to defuse the game-playing, as I have acknowledged defeat on the language front, yet  stress that I still seek performance of the task.  We also take that opportunity to discuss the various frailties, ambiguities and nuances of our language.  Both of my kids are delighted by word play and the jokes that can come from it, and I suspect the lawyering is an extension of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also give context to instructions (&lt;em&gt;&quot;Your untidy room is making me grumpy&quot;&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;&quot;... so that your socks don't get wet walking to school&quot;&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;&quot;I don't want the other kids calling you 'Stinky McStinkypants', so...&quot;&lt;/em&gt;) which is usually motivation enough to actually perform said task.  I guess you could call the context &quot;consequences&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything with time constraints is given time calls (&lt;em&gt;&quot;10 minutes until we leave&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;&quot;four minutes&quot;&lt;/em&gt;), and if it's not life-threatening I'll let it slide and allow my child to wear the consequences, such as wet socks from not putting shoes on when asked, or wearing pyjamas to school because they weren't dressed in time (they were unaware there was a change of clothes travelling with us, and have not subsequently made this mistake). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These techniques have worked great with our eldest, who's doing the lawyering much less, and will no doubt work well with the youngest, who's doing it increasingly.  They were also very interested to hear me name the practice; I now have two children running around accusing each other of being a &quot;language lawyer&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastEditorUserId="3414" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T01:43:04.417" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T01:43:04.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14068" CreationDate="2014-06-17T02:53:33.567" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Scandal_in_Belgravia&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;particular episode of &lt;em&gt;Sherlock&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; you are concerned about also alludes to lesbian intercourse, which might raise more questions than a dominatrix, and features male and female nudity, with a central narrative of blackmail using explicit images.  I image I'd feel uncomfortable watching it with a daughter, but I've watched it with my 8yo son and he just dealt with those things as costumes and &lt;a href=&quot;http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MacGuffin&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MacGuffin&lt;/a&gt; rather than something sexually related - but 8 is very different to 11, and both parents were on hand to talk about any questions he had. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Karl Bielefeldt says, it might be best if you were to control the context in which it is viewed; your daughter clearly wants to see this and we all know how easy it would be for one's child to do so without your knowledge and supervision.  Having said that, I refuse to expose my children to the opening-of-the-ark scene in &lt;em&gt;Raiders of the Lost Ark&lt;/em&gt;, nor any of &lt;em&gt;Temple of Doom&lt;/em&gt;, but am happy for them to see &lt;em&gt;Last Crusade&lt;/em&gt;.  When I'm asked why, I tell the truth: &quot;It's way too scary, and I don't want to be dealing with your nightmares for a couple of months.  Maybe when you're fifteen.&quot;  Do you know why you don't want your daughter watching this series?  Are you able to explain it to her, in a way that she'll understand?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be grounds to object purely on the basis of the narrative. If your daughter is a fan of the books, then she may be disappointed that the series is merely inspired by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's works - my wife certainly was; having said that, the series has outstanding production values and I think is the best retelling of the detective's adventures.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Scandal_in_Belgravia#Controversy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Criticism has also been levelled at the episode from a feminist perspective&lt;/a&gt;, as well as purely puritanical concerns.  The central character is an unpleasant person, and might be modelling behaviour you don't want repeated, but has been cleaned up from the novels - no more heroin use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're looking for an excuse, rather than a reason, to delay exposure to the show, you could say that it will be more fun once there are more episodes - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jan/09/sherlock-back-fourth-series-steven-moffat&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;series four is a lock&lt;/a&gt;, given the ratings and cast's attitude, and plotting is laid out for series five.  That could buy you a year or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pestering is annoying, that's why it works.  You could say that if there's no pestering for x-period, then we'll sit down together and schedule a time to watch the series.  If there's pestering in that period, the start date will get pushed back, making the pestering counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3414" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T02:53:33.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14076" CreationDate="2014-06-17T05:13:08.310" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child is still very young and the eyes are continuing to develop.  As pointed out in the comments, keeping glasses on her can be a challenge.  Whether it's a translucent cloth that's very breathable (I don't know what they are called, but think of a sunshade type cloth), sunglasses or something else, you should absolutely protect her eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that even though the eyes and person are in the shade, looking out into a bright area can still be damaging (I have blue eyes, so know this all too well).  So, try to keep her facing away from extremely bright areas, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T05:13:08.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12917" CreationDate="2014-06-17T08:31:00.953" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;We're never going to beat the other team.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never? Absolutely never? Are you sure? Here I'd question the language she uses. The language we use out loud is often the same language we use in our thoughts. And the language we use in our thoughts tends to shape our thoughts and emotions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For advice on how to question/reframe such thoughts, I'd recommend you listen to some of the Audiobooks/videos made by Byron Katie. You should be able to find some samples of Byron Katie's work &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thework.com/watch.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;on Youtube&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want something more technical, but still interesting, you may want to read books on Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) utilizes a very similar questioning strategy to Byron Katie's method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the crying, I believe that's an emotional response that's also an outgrowth of our thoughts and beliefs. So the next time you're alone with her after such a game, it might be useful to ask her what she's thinking when she starts crying. But also, I wouldn't make too big deal out of it, because the added pressure from you might inadvertently stress her out even more the next time it happens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9092" LastEditorUserId="9092" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T08:36:04.953" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T08:36:04.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14085" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-17T08:47:33.090" Score="0" ViewCount="88" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually I am afraid of using Facebook and other social networking sites as it fears me of Cyber bullying. Many tried to make my friends reputation down and by this I am also getting afraid of using it. I really think why people do this and how to stop these things and I also checked so many site's to how to stop it but I didn't find any good solution. As I want to be sure and wanted to know more about these things and I don't want this thing to be happen to us in future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So is there any solution or any website where I can go and complain or any suggestion like what we have to do in these situations as I know at these situations person suffer a lot and I know Cyber bullying is illegal too so I just want some solution to how to prevent these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9143" LastEditorUserId="9143" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T19:15:24.023" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T19:15:24.023" Title="How can I stop Cyber Bullying and prevent this in future for my child?" Tags="|discipline|daycare|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-06-17T12:07:37.787" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-17T09:20:29.280" Score="17" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;shouts at me in front of them...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask her to leave. Don't even wait for your wife to get home. It's healthy for your children to see how you're able to handle such situations with cool and determination. And of course, you can let her stay if she apologizes and if you feel she is genuinely remorseful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I have feeling you're not telling us the entire story. Why would she even be shouting at you in the first place??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9092" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T09:20:29.280" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-17T09:39:49.763" Score="7" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;However, years ago I used to tell my wife some of what was going on&#xA;  generally after a confrontation with my MIL; but my MIL would keep on&#xA;  at my wife about the situation, creating an awful atmosphere that my&#xA;  wife would feel like she had to sort out (not to mention the fact that&#xA;  the MIL would deny any wrongdoing, therefore putting my wife exactly&#xA;  in the middle of this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This has been going on now for four years and includes lies to my wife&#xA;  (which the MIL has admitted to me).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually I don't think this is as much a parenting problem as a relationship problem. Your MIL is undermining your relationship with your wife by bullying you, and then bullying your wife into thinking that your MIL is behaving just fine and that you're the one who's lying. Even if you didn't have any kids at this moment, your relationship with your wife would be endangered by your MIL's behaviour. I think you need to see a counselor together, and with a mother so controlling and manipulative I think its possible that your wife also needs to see a counselor separately. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T09:39:49.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14117" CreationDate="2014-06-17T10:28:28.567" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately a lot of the Internet is a 'Wild West' environment - you cannot completely prevent cyber bullying. That said, there are a number of options which can help. I'm guessing you are not a parent, but this topic is likely to be of interest to parents and children alike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Facebook has a specific anti-cyber-bullying team that you can report incidents to. Every page gives you a direct link to them, and you have a link on every post to let you report or remove from your timeline. Some other social networks have similar functionality, but you have to remember that it is not always possible to identify the individuals doing the bullying. You say Cyber Bullying is illegal - that unfortunately is not always the case. Different countries have different regulations, laws and rules. So if you are being bullied from a country with no laws in this area, you are out of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess where I'm going here is that trying to prevent bullying online can only ever be partially successful. So what else can you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Limit your Internet usage to those areas which are well policed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Limit your social network 'friends'&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Understand your behaviour: does it make you more bully-able?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and if all else fails and you can't change things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ignore it: growing a thicker skin is always going to be useful&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T21:08:00.153" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T21:08:00.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-17T12:08:55.130" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's been a lot of great answers so far but I'll add my 2 cents because I'm curious to see how this is handled. Here are the things I can think of to caveat off of the other great answers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's a very dynamic situation especially since immediately family ties are involved. Be careful not to put yourself in the cross hairs. When you present your case to your wife, have clear evidence that this is going on. While you could go with a nanny cam, a simple recording of these conversations would suffice. A tone of condescension is often undeniable. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your wife sees this from your point of view, use the exact evidence you presented to her if/when you discuss the situation with your mother in law.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is common sense but it must be said. Don't backdoor the situation through your children. If a situation like you described with the toys or sweets happens again, after MIL leaves, don't pull them aside and explain why that was wrong of her. Allow them to be neutral parties as this is grown-up business.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you do sit down with MIL, even if she concedes that what she has been doing is wrong and makes amends, have a timeout period. There is some trust and respect that needs to be restored and it will not be mended in such close proximity after a conversation like this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Most of all, shower your children with love and affection. They are none the wiser. Maintain a level head, carry out the daily/weekly plans that you and your wife have established and generally continue caring about your children.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, kudos to you. This situation may be leaving you wondering if you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; a bad parent. While consciously you may reject this idea, words like that settle in deeper than we can fathom. &lt;em&gt;Do not allow it to change you&lt;/em&gt;. Everyone here already knows you are respectable father because a respectable father takes time to sit back and really ponder situations like this. If you were not worthy of respect, you would not care about this situation. So again...kudos. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-18T21:56:08.447" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T21:56:08.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14090" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14099" CreationDate="2014-06-17T12:12:58.440" Score="29" ViewCount="11319" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10-year-old son who is slightly autistic - he has an assistant with him at his school, but is intelligent enough. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are struggling to find a hobby that our son will enjoy and stick with.  We tried martial arts, but he said he didn't like it.  He seemed to like the scout movement for some time: he did beavers, then cubs, and now he has just started scouts.  We tried him on boys brigade but he said that was boring so we stopped it, leaving him just with the scouts.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the scout leader has said he is badly behaved and finds scouts boring, and is trying to encourage us to find an alternative hobby for our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son says he doesn't want to do any hobbies, he just wants to stay at home.  Unfortunately, he doesn't have any real friends; it is incredibly rare for him to socialise outside of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our concern is that if he doesn't mix outside of school, that will slow his social development and he could have problems in later life.  I am a bit more relaxed about this than my wife, who is really upset about it.  She blames the scout movement for rejecting him, whereas I believe it is more like our son doesn't enjoy the activity so he misbehaves.&#xA;Both my wife and I have had mental health problems on-and-off and I take antidepressants and the arguments about this issue are beginning to cause additional stress at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is sometimes difficult to know what our son actually wants.  I think sometimes he is just agreeing with my wife because it is what she wants to hear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is not sporty or musical.  In the past he liked building models, e.g. with lego, but all he seems to enjoy is playing on his computer. Should we force our son to have a hobby, and how do we go about finding one that interests him?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9146" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-09-02T09:39:27.500" LastActivityDate="2018-03-23T13:43:48.273" Title="Should we force our slightly-autistic son to have hobbies (other than &quot;computer usage&quot;) which will allow him to socialize more?" Tags="|autism|" AnswerCount="24" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-17T12:42:50.407" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I would act in this conflict and not let it be.&#xA;The reason is this truth: If your Mother In Law came to any other house, she would behave like a guest and not as if she owned the place.&#xA;So, she &lt;em&gt;chooses&lt;/em&gt; to behave differently with you, and it is her judgement that she has a right to behave like this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd act because I disagree with that judgement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife and your mother in law have a complex relationship - more complex than you.&#xA;But she must know that this bothers you and know what you are planning to do about it.&#xA;Then you can devise a strategy together. &#xA;It does not mean that your wife must fight this fight. Perhaps you can devise a strategy to keep her out. But if you act on this, your wife becomes a party in this conflict. Your MIL will make her a party.&#xA;If you skip this step, your mother-in-law will play you both and set you against one another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for concrete advice, you are the best judge. You have to decide what course of action suits you. Here is what I would do, in your shoes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife must be prepared. Her mother will call her and force her to take a stand.&#xA;Your wife needs to prepare her response and you need to know what your wife will do.&#xA;I suggest using a mantra.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I a mantra is some truth, like &quot;You can't shout at John in front of the children&quot;, or &quot;I am the authority in this house and anyone why disrespects that is not welcome&quot;.&#xA;Kind words, repeated endlessly.&#xA;The purpose of the mantra is to avoid - at the cost of conversational politeness - being dragged into a conversation at the MIL's terms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for me: in this case, when authority is not given, it is taken. I would mentally draw a couple of lines and have an escalated response ready when they are crossed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'd choose the place and type of a conflict.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I would try to &lt;em&gt;avoid&lt;/em&gt; my own living room as a place of conflict because I would have to be prepared to remove her physically if she really refused to go. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One option is to wait for her to misbehave in her house, so you have the option to leave abruptly with your whole family. (your family must be prepared: When you say 'we leave', there is no surprise).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alternatively you can bluntly tell her she's not welcome.&#xA;The place of conflict will then be the phone or the front door, depending on whether she calls you up first. Use a mantra again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yes, I would take the conflict on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two things I would not do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;show weakness to avoid conflict. She needs to be corrected so she will behave like she would with other people.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;act without my family. She will try to drive you apart and then you are fighting your family instead of your MIL.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9147" LastEditorUserId="738" LastEditDate="2014-06-19T13:44:04.993" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T13:44:04.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T12:52:28.570" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;A hobby is something you like. &#xA;How do you force someone to like something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, at the choice of hobbies there is an extra agenda: You want him to socialize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you have a good point. The time he has now, as a kid, will not come back. Social skills he could be picking up now, will be harder to learn when he realises he's missing something. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then again, you can't push on a string.&#xA;As you write he's mildly autistic, I simply cannot comment because I am not an expert. So do seek expert advice. &#xA;As for forcing him, that's clearly impossible. But you can force him to come up with a list of, say, 3 to 5 things he would like to try. The deal would be, and this would be clear from the beginning, that he can get out if he doesn't like it.&#xA;Pressure will work counterproductive but perhaps this will work: He'll try one thing on his list and if he doesn't like it, he can get out and try another one ... once he's added a new item to the &quot;list of things to try&quot;.&#xA;So he is not forced to stick with any particular thing but he is forced to do &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9147" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T12:52:28.570" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12917" CreationDate="2014-06-17T13:04:13.830" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of good advice already.&#xA;Perhaps you can get the team or the coach in on this.&#xA;The coach could, during one training, - tongue in cheek - 'forbid' all negativity during a training.&#xA;So it's 'forbidden' to say &quot;Oh I missed the goal&quot;; instead one can say &quot;Wow, I hit the goalpost - do you know how much &lt;em&gt;harder&lt;/em&gt; that is?&quot;. &#xA;And the team itself must come up with a punishment if anyone does show any negativity.  Something like pushups, run to the goal and back, or getting water for everyone.&#xA;Nothing too seriously and definitely for the whole team - no-one is singled out, not even the coach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only training, he stresses. Only for this training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since there is less pressure at the training it won't be so serious.&#xA;If it works, the team will take this up as their own inside joke.&#xA;And then it becomes possible that your daughter will take this attitude from training to the game, and break her pattern.&#xA;Once that happens, do reflect with her, on how well she did that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9147" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T13:04:13.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T13:18:44.023" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even with neurotypical kids, it can be challenging to find a hobby or sport that they like well enough to stick with and really develop. Some kids find their niche right away, others have to try lots of different things to figure out what works for them and what doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you have two choices: build off of the hobbies he does have or try to help him develop new interests. You mentioned that he likes Legos - that's great! Are there any &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.firstlegoleague.org/mission/support&quot;&gt;Lego clubs&lt;/a&gt; in your area? In our area, there are several Lego club options - ranging from a free club that meets and the library once a month and just builds together to a club that learns to build and program with the Mindstorm robotics kits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also mention that he has had behavioral problems in the scouts. Sufficient exercise might help. You mention that he isn't sporty, and that karate wasn't a good match. Have you tried other sports? You might have to try a variety before you find one that clicks with him. My own oldest child tried four or five sports before finding &quot;his&quot; sport. Keep in mind that different sports require different types of interactions between the kids, so while one sport may be too much for him, another may work just fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also would consider using a little bribery. I know bribery can be a bad word in parenting, but used carefully and judiciously, it can be perfect in situations like this just to get a child started on something new. It sounds like video games are a motivator for him. Perhaps he could earn a certain amount of video game time for each practice/meet that he goes to. Or he could earn points towards the purchase of a new game. When kids start a new activity, it can be frustrating until they master it enough to start having fun. Little rewards can get them over the initial discomfort until they reach that point. Once they are enjoying the activity, you can scale back the reward, or change it to encourage further mastery. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9149" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T17:43:26.580" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T17:43:26.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10471" CreationDate="2014-06-17T13:30:24.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many children are aware of sex, but are appaled at the thought of their parents doing 'it'.&#xA;Perhaps you can use this. &#xA;Check how your son feels about his parents and 'the dirty deeds'. This might be a question aimed at him together with some friends. If they react apalled, you know you've got them.&#xA;Warn him: what has been seen, can not be unseen!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9147" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T13:30:24.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9343" CreationDate="2014-06-17T13:40:51.713" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't sound too serious so do consider if you want to press the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do, try a couple of things.&#xA;Let her stay over at friends. Make sure they know beforehand not to give in on the TV-demand. &quot;Sorry dear, that's not how we do things in this house!&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;See how she fares. This will tell you if it's a physical necessity or behaviour that she can turn off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You give her a number of 'volume points' each week. She is in charge of distributing them over the days - if she chooses a higher volume on Monday, she has less 'points' left for the rest of the week.&#xA;Reward her with Grand Icecreams on Sundays when you discuss how many points you'll take away the next week. &#xA;This is easier to do during the day when the stress of getting to sleep is still far away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, she remains in charge, you reward her, and gradually you work to lessen her dependence on the TV together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9147" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T13:40:51.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T14:00:22.937" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what you're writing, you don't really want him to get &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; hobby, but a hobby where he can socialize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's slightly autistic, socializing is the hardest thing for him to do. And it will be even harder if the socializing is in a context where he has nothing to talk about or isn't interested in the things people talk about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said he likes to use the computer. So basically he already has a hobby! I'd recommend exploiting that and not view it as something negative. You can have computers, and/or some more specialized area in computers, as a hobby that is social. There are many activities involving computers. LAN parties, clubs, associations, forums; there are lots and lots of communities involving tech-interested people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try to have activities in not too large groups. At least give lots of opportunities for 1 on 1 socializing. Large groups can be intimidating and just cause him to go silent or worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be very careful trying to create an interest where there isn't any. It could create resentment and not any real interest. I'm not saying not try new things, but don't push it too much. Use what he's already interested in and focus that energy into something more social.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9151" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T14:00:22.937" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14068" CreationDate="2014-06-17T14:31:49.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Acknowledge her desire to watch it.  Talk to her about why she wants to watch it - what is it about the series that she wants to see so much.  Then tell her that it is not for her age range. In the UK it is shown &quot;after the watershed&quot; - after 9pm - which means it is for adults, with adult themes and language.  (Dr Who is shown at about 6:30pm for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You explain that you are not going to change your mind about this. Then you look for things that fill the gap.  Other programmes that Benedict Cumberbatch has appeared in, for example, that are more suitable for her age range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or you could just tell her that it is violent and has some scary scenes and unsuitable content, but that you'll watch two episodes with her.  Show jer the first two, and have the difficult discussions about murder and etc, and then see if she still wants to watch the rest.  Maybe it's just the lure of the forbidden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(She has good taste - it's a great series, but I agree that pre-teen is too young to watch it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T14:31:49.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14101" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-17T14:47:00.710" Score="5" ViewCount="12955" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our four year-old enjoys ripping things.  Mostly toilet paper or other scrap paper, but this morning we found a book in the trash with the cover and a few pages torn off.  It was an old book with a fragile cover, so it may have been an accident.  At any rate, it seems like it's turning into a habit that's a big mess at best and destructive at worst.   She mostly does it when we are asleep.  Any ideas for suppressing or redirecting this impulse?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2014-06-17T21:16:32.713" LastActivityDate="2015-02-11T01:09:40.990" Title="Four year-old likes ripping things" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T14:48:57.770" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is only slightly autistic, then it is a good idea to try to find a hobby for him and even push him a little (not forcefully, more like guidance and example). After all everyone needs some free time to relax, not only to idle, but the brain actually demands it. With autism sometimes there is a lack of understanding for the needs of others and even oneself, leading to a state where the person knows that something is missing, he just can't tell what it is. This can lead to unrest or even misbehavior, while the solution is to just simply to find a fun hobby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to what you tell, I assume that he is S-type autistic, so understanding logical and systemic things is easy, while understanding emotional things is difficult. This may cause him to feel uneasy among other people just because he doesn't know or doesn't understand how social interaction works. It would be your task then to assist him on that, like other parents need to assist their children with math homework. And if you compare your son's reaction to social interaction to how other people react to math class, you'll see that it is basically the same, just a different topic, so nothing to worry about here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching emotional things and/or communication is as easy as teaching everything else, except that literature on it isn't that commonly available, as most people &quot;just know&quot; how it works. So you might need to get some help on finding adequate literature (if you have not already done so) or find a professional teacher if that is within your financial availability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T14:48:57.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-17T14:54:46.703" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went through the same thing. None of these mumbojumbo is going to work just for the simple fact that your wife respects her parents more than you.That is the truth.What you have to do, is that when you know that she's coming over just go away. If they want you guys to visit them just stay home a few times.She'll get the idea.That's that. Simple.Now every time I go there they shake my hand and keep their mouths shut. She is a control freak.Learn how to deal with control freaks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9152" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T14:54:46.703" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14060" CreationDate="2014-06-17T14:55:27.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the suggestions that you don't use the pacifier at all. However, have you yet found the pacifiers with the little stuffed animal attached? It's there to add weight and stability to the pacifier and keeps it on the baby's chest. They look like a pacifier with a beanie baby sewed to the part that we grip.&#xA;Good luck, and probably your little one is just going through one of many short lived phases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="92" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T14:55:27.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13977" CreationDate="2014-06-17T15:00:40.507" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Choosing the wrong bike can put a kid off cycling for a long time. It's heartbreaking to see a kid pushing a bike up a slight slope because it doesn't fit, the gears don't work properly, and it weighs a ton because they (or their parents) chose a cheap imitation of a downhill mountain bike because it looks cool and has loads of &quot;features&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure it is the right size and sell it on or keep it for a younger sibling when they outgrow it. If it is the wrong size then it is harder to control and they are more likely to crash. Make sure they can reach the ground when the saddle is set properly for them, and they can still steer and control the bike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Weight makes a big difference to the fun and manoeuvrability of a child's bike. A kilo saved from the bike of a six-year-old weighing 30kg is like 2.5kg saved from an adult's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suitably sized cranks will make a big difference to a kids ability to pedal well. If the cranks are too long then the bike will need to be higher off the ground to prevent pedal strikes, which also affects handling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the size of your 6 year old they will either require 16&quot; or 20&quot; wheels. With 20&quot; wheels you can have gears - a 3 speed hub is easy to use and hard to break, but more expensive than derailleurs. No harm in getting singlespeed for a nice light and easy to maintain bike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you let the kid choose the bike, invariably they will choose one with suspension. This tends to add weight and cost money, without providing much (or any) additional comfort or benefit due to poor construction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, check that the reach of the brake levers are adjustable for smaller hands, and the brakes still function when adjusted so that they are closer to the handlebars. A back-pedal coaster brake is a good solution if your child is a bit small to operate a rear v brake (which are harder to pull).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T15:00:40.507" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T15:05:23.470" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're saying something different than you really mean. You say &quot;he needs a hobby&quot; but what you mean is &quot;he needs a different hobby&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of people without mental health issues who love nothing more than to spend their time on a computer, and plenty of people who do. It isn't a &quot;problem&quot; - instead, it's just another avenue that has its own risks and rewards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing you need to do is educate yourself. What does your son like to do on the computer? Is there common ground that you all like? Is what your son doing safe and legal? Who is he hanging out with on his computer? These are questions you would ask of any other hobby too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next thing is to educate your son. Teach him about how to be safe about who he talks to and where he goes on the internet. Teach him to treat his body right with regular breaks, exercises and stretches, eye strain, etc. Teach him that just like any community there are good people and there are bad people, safe and dangerous people. About what he can do to identify and avoid bad and dangerous people, and what he needs to do if he encounters them. Again, just like any other hobby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there are no less than 27 billion things to do on the internet. (I know that's true because, by the time you read this, that statement will be posted on the internet. And it said it was true.) There are so many social avenues, whether its online games, chat rooms, forums where he can express his art and writing if he has any, so much. If he has trouble communicating with people in person, this might just be the thing he needs to learn how to communicate with people in general. In time, he'll take the lessons he learned online and apply them in real life. (True story, I landed a job once after describing the system of 2,000 people I set up in an online game. Manager said I demonstrated true leadership skills.) Of course, if he learns &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5jnk7VS-Ko&quot;&gt;bad social habits&lt;/a&gt;, those will also be amplified in real life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thing good or bad that could happen in real life, like if he were playing basketball down at the park, could happen online. He will have positive and negative influences and you as his parent will have to monitor and step in where necessary. It's just that simple. But it sounds like you're trying to force him away from this wonderful opportunity to learn and grow. I hope you don't do that. =)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T15:05:23.470" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14076" CreationDate="2014-06-17T15:09:35.807" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should have some method of shielding your child's eyes. Sunglasses may not be the best method because they are easily removed and your child could poke themselves with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even outside of direct sunlight you should still be aware that the light level that you can handle might be too much for her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some form of shade on whatever she is carried in is probably the best method. Also make sure she is not too hot/cold and at 3 months you may want to avoid a lot of people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7903" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T15:09:35.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T15:26:31.123" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As other answers have suggested playing on the computer can be a hobby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you want him to be able interact socially. The good news is that there are a lot of social interactions to be formed online, and they can be lower pressure than being face to face. Now, you do need to worry about safety, especially since some people in the autism spectrum can be overly trusting, but I think constant communication with you is the best defense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for a great place to get started? I would check out &lt;a href=&quot;http://scratch.mit.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Scratch&lt;/a&gt; which is a programming language designed for children. The logic will appeal to his left brain, the pieces of code snap together like Legos (another great hobby, if not social) the creative nature will surely benefit him, and there is a great community which works to create some pretty amazing products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some other amazing resources online, and it is a great way to connect with people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, there is another aspect which is his physical requirements. You may need to push him slightly in order to get him to be active enough, I might recommend dropping the social part if that is too challenging and try hiking (by which I mean anything from a half a mile gentle slope to whatever he can handle). The nature is calming, so is not having to talk all the time, and he will learn a appreciation for nature. It may also help him maintain his calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, if he shows an interest then let him pick it up. You can suggest options (sometimes he might not know what is avalible) but pushing too hard will not get you anywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7903" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T15:26:31.123" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14065" CreationDate="2014-06-17T15:34:15.470" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly at this point the volume is more worrying than the content. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will be listening, and she will be storing words (or rather sounds) away, but without lots of repetition and a lot more development she will not be at the point that they can repeat them... Give them a year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even then, she will not have a grasp on what you are actually saying, she does not have experiences that line up with those words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much after that you run the risk of her repeating where someone else can hear, which is passing embarrassing. And once she starts socializing with other children you have to assume she will learn what the words mean in short order!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7903" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T15:34:15.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T15:53:09.797" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother was in the same position as your son, and my parents found a great activity that he really enjoyed: he began music therapy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically he would go and play an instrument with the instructor (he chose bass, but it could be anything) and they played together, any songs he wanted, just for half an hour a week. My parents too had to force him to get off the computer and go, but he ended up grudgingly enjoying it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that only playing on the computer without other hobbies isn't good for social development, but music is a productive activity. There's social interaction with the instructor (mostly one-on-one), and you can meet the other kids who come to play, and even play music as a group with them.  He doesn't have to be particularly musical to go.  I'd say you should &quot;force&quot; him to go to something like this, but not something like scouts--my experience makes me think your son is probably upset by the other kids there. (other kids can be rude/unfriendly to people who act different). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option would be programs designed for kids with autism. Cooking class, a program at a farm, any activity that is small and allows him to interact in a friendly environment will be beneficial to him and help him be more comfortable around other kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9158" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T15:53:09.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14060" CreationDate="2014-06-17T16:06:29.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I totally agree with not giving her one at all, we gave our son one and I wish we never did, if she does take it make sure you dont make the mistake we did and that was not taking it off him early, he is 4 now and still asks for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9159" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T16:06:29.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T16:07:55.210" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was just extremely socially awkward as a kid, not autistic, but here's what I would suggest:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Scouts (talk with the Scoutmaster and try to figure out what would be best), there are many different routes for him to take.  I had my own tent that I would bring on all outings so I didn't have to share, and knot-tying was the hobby I worked on there.  By the time I reached Eagle, I was more or less the one teaching all of the new scouts every single knot they needed to know (and then some).  Possible hobbies he may enjoy here include knot-tying, whittling, fire-building, orienteering, and many more.  I would encourage you to talk to your son and figure out which parts of Scouting he enjoys and which ones he doesn't, and see if you can't find a way to make his experience revolve more around those. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that in Scouts he is being picked on for being different than the other kids, and is acting out because of that (either that, or the Scout meetings/outings are either too structured or not structured enough).  Try to talk to him and figure out if the other kids are being jerks to him.  If they are, talk to the Scoutmaster and ask him to get the Scout leadership to intervene (in my, and many others' opinions, the adult leadership should only directly intervene in extreme cases. For something like this, the leadership should pull the SPL aside and help him choose the proper course of action.  Scouting is about teaching leadership skills, and this could be a good learning opportunity for the SPL)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My school had an after-school computer club (where we would just play games in the same room as one another), you could see if he has that available to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Model airplane/remote control stuff may interest him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he takes an interest in computer programming, see if you can't find a teacher who would be willing to tutor him in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After-school science club (or math league, or something) may be interesting to him too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he takes an interest in electronics, you can either head over to electronics.stackexchange, or try out a local makerspace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;He is not sporty&quot; -- Does he not enjoy physical activity of any sort, or is it the competitive/team sports? Competitive sports can be especially stressful for people with social problems; they require communication, teamwork, and there's the stress of letting your team down, or being let down by your team.  Jogging/biking/climbing/hiking (and in a couple of years, lifting), are all highly self-centered sports where he can focus on self-improvement rather than having to deal with a team.  Biking may be an especially good fit (if you are running and get tired, you slow down to a walk, which feels like a failure.  With biking, you can just slow down, and finish the ride without that feeling of failure)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, leverage his assistant.  The assistant may have picked up on stuff that you have missed and be able to offer valid suggestions for what your son would enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is that you don't directly force him into anything.  Want him to spend less time on the computer at home?  Impose a limit on the screen-time (e.g. 1 or 2 hours/day) he has and encourage him to do something else.  He may not put in the effort to research the types of activities he would be interested in, so having suggestions like above (and in other answers) could help him find something he enjoys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With so few details on what he enjoys, what I've suggested are just activities which may be interesting to someone without great social skills (aka what I did/wanted to do during my school days).  There may be something in there that he enjoys, there may not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9155" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T16:07:55.210" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T16:15:24.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent (also, I'm only 21). However, I was always pretty shy outside of the home when I was a kid. What I enjoyed the most was being on the computer (even at the age of 10), and learning how to program, how to design, etc. Too many people see computers as just something that's a waste of time for kids, but I'm now a (successful) front-end developer because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish that I had the opportunity to go to some sort of computer-related camp, or class/program. There are plenty that exist, or you could go to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.meetup.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.meetup.com/&lt;/a&gt; and try to start your own? I think that if your son likes playing on the computer, you should try and make that playing into something productive. Programming is a lot of fun, and he may enjoy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(also, I didn't like boyscouts either. It's not for everyone)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9160" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T16:15:24.723" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12555" CreationDate="2014-06-17T16:59:41.123" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like it might be time to try leaving the baby alone during &quot;nap time&quot;. Get them into the routine with the rest of the children you care for. From my own personal experience, getting children into a routine is the best thing for them. Eventually the child will learn that at nap time you aren't going to comfort them. We did this with our daughter at about the same age. We took a &quot;steps&quot; approach to it. We would start by letting her cry for 5 minutes before going to her, then 10 minutes, then 15, etc. This was one of the hardest things in the world for us to do, just let our daughter cry. But it worked out well for us, and nap time became a non-issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T16:59:41.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5872" CreationDate="2014-06-17T17:43:46.573" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a whole lot of worse things he could be doing.  Like drugs.  Vandalism.  Getting into trouble.  The things you've listed as things he enjoys are completely harmless.  So let him do them as he wants, and allow him to freely continue to discover who he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if your son does turn out to be gay?  Would you rather him feel judged and alone and hopeless, or would you rather him at least have one place where he can feel safe and accepted?  If you continue to try to &quot;correct&quot; his behavior, if it's more than &quot;just a phase,&quot; trying to correct this will most likely only mean he'll no longer do it in front of you, and he'll most likely stop confiding in you.  Meanwhile, he'll have to face an unforgiving and un-accepting world alone.  If it's &quot;just a phase&quot;, then he'll probably just move on eventually, regardless of anything you did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continue loving your son, and try your best to accept him for who he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9164" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T17:43:46.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T18:27:51.653" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is at an age where he should be exposed to as many things as possible, if you can at all afford it. Chess, Karate, powerlifting, legos, basketball, he may be interested in one today and another next month. That's okay. This is how he will find out what he likes to do. Like I said, as long as it's no strain on the family there's no harm. I will say, however, that playing video/computer games or watching tv is no hobby for a 10 year old. Computer &lt;em&gt;Programming&lt;/em&gt;, however, is another matter entirely and is something worth exploring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing to keep in mind is that the more constructive things he is exposed to, the better. Encourage whatever he is interested in, and &lt;em&gt;show interest&lt;/em&gt;. Did you attend the scout meetings? This is crucial, because if a child senses parents just shoot them off to a different form of daycare, and aren't encouraging them, they may lose interest even if they enjoy the activity. If the scouts rejected him (and you know this for a &lt;em&gt;fact&lt;/em&gt;), this is correctable by addressing the pack leader or finding another pack, again if your son is actually interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T18:27:51.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14117" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14119" CreationDate="2014-06-17T18:29:43.747" Score="5" ViewCount="562" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cyber bullying has been a talking point in the news for the last few years, where stories of children being 'attacked' online in social media causing them to go into depression, sometimes forcing the child to change schools, the family to move or tragically an occasional suicide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we as parents help to protect our children from cyber bullying without completely preventing the kids from participating in social media (which may ostracize them from their peers and lead to real-life bullying instead)?  While I'd rather not essentially stalk my children online, if that's the only way then are there any ways to either do so discreetly?  Or can you recommend a way to convince my children to voluntarily allow us as parents to keep a close eye on them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, assuming I am aware of cyber bullying currently taking place, what options are available to stop it from continuing (again, short of removing the children from social media entirely)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fair credit, this question came about due to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14085/how-can-i-stop-cyber-bullying-and-prevent-this-in-future&quot;&gt;another closed question&lt;/a&gt; posted earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6535" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-11-02T20:26:56.173" Title="How to protect my children from cyber-bullying" Tags="|bullying|internet|social-media|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14117" CreationDate="2014-06-17T19:11:34.630" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You use the same approach you would use for just about any other &quot;how to protect my children&quot; question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Step 1: educate yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing you have to do is educate yourself. What does your child do online, and where are the risks they're going to face? If you have a good relationship with your child, you can ask them about it directly. You can also use software to monitor the internet traffic, but that can cause honesty issues and might not be worth the investment. You then have to know who they're talking to online and why those interactions are taking place. For example, are they real-world tie-ins (like a study group that also has a chat room) or friends from another school, or just a replacement for our generation's hanging out at the mall?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of utmost importance is to educate yourself in your child. By this, I mean reading her language and body language to know when there's a problem. Most kids think they're better at hiding these things than they really are, and you need to know how your child is feeling to protect them against any threat, of which cyber bulling is one of many.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Step 2: educate your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child must be aware of a wide variety of online threats - child predators, bank scammers, &quot;Nigerian Princes&quot;. Their &quot;friends&quot; are just another avenue of real threats your child needs to be aware of to protect themselves against when they're online. And honestly, these people are in the &quot;real world&quot; too. Don't talk to strangers; don't hang around people who harass you; be confident in yourself and don't stand for destructive criticism. Do not let your child assume that because it's on the internet it isn't real: it is real. You have to protect your child not just from receiving cyber bullying, but also from dishing it out. They might not be aware that the actions they take on the internet will have real consequences on another child's fragile emotional structure. Again, no different than at school or at the park.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Step 3: build a trust stockpile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are about four hundred thousand ways for a child to disown their parents, and only a small handful of them include the internet. If you don't have a strong bond of trust with your child, you aren't going to be able to protect them from much of anything, including cyber bullying. There's no formula for doing this, as each child and parent are so different, but at the core I've found that consistency and honesty are the foundation of any trusting relationship. So start there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These three steps (educate yourself, educate your child, build a trust stockpile) are a rough outline for solving a lot of the various &quot;teenage unknowns&quot;, especially in territory where the world has changed so much since we were kids and we need to catch up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also like to leave you with a couple very strong *don't*s:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;DO NOT&lt;/em&gt; simply cut off your child's internet access for fear of cyber bullying. This will most likely just incur more social stigma, and also create a lot of resentment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;DO NOT&lt;/em&gt; interrogate your child or make them feel like a victim. You might be trying to just get information, but if you seem too controlling you will lose a lot of trust.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;DO NOT&lt;/em&gt; say one thing and do another. If you communicate directly with your child and say you won't be using monitoring software or time-limiting software, and you do anyway, you can throw the trust you might have built right out the window.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T19:11:34.630" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T19:57:31.443" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will start this off by saying I am 19, so I do remember a lot of things that I did when I was ten. Your son enjoys being on the computer which I personally do not find as a bad thing, depending on what he is doing of course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was younger I had few friends. I spent most of my time playing video games. I actually played &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massively_multiplayer_online_role-playing_game&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MMORPG's&lt;/a&gt;. I met a lot of people and I would go to school and things and always talk about &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_of_Warcraft&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;World of Warcraft&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then one day, out of the blue, someone actually knew what I was talking about in class and that lead to us actually hanging out and becoming best friends for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soon after, in junior high, &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_%28series%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Halo&lt;/a&gt; was the thing and I met a group of friends that liked playing it also, so we hung out every day and played. I still see them to this day. Eventually the whole gaming thing died out for some of my friends, but it always kept a spot in my heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It soon became my passion and I am now turning it into a career (I am currently attending &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_Institute_of_Technology&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NEIT&lt;/a&gt; and becoming a programmer specialized in video games). Since it died out for them, we started to do other things like play sports in high school and go out on crazy adventures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't knock computers and gaming out of a valid option. You just have to know when it's too much and he's actually not socializing and making friends from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also remember the importance of online gaming; teach your son to be safe while online!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9168" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-22T14:42:43.343" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T14:42:43.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-17T21:01:53.127" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Contrary to all the other answers, you most certainly should force your son into additional activities if your son won't take the initiative to become a well rounded person on their own. Times are different from just a few years ago. Video games of today are awesome and time consuming. 12 hours each day can fly by in the wink of an eye while playing them. I would say that most boys (if not the overwhelming majority of them) would be perfectly happy if you gave them a computer, an internet connection, some video game consoles with good games and left them alone for the next 20 or 30 years. That's obviously not healthy for a person's development but that's what most boys would do if left to make their own decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, parents who let their kids spend all day on computers find raising their kids to be extremely easy. So the trap is there on both sides of the fence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &quot;good&quot; parents will do whatever they can to ensure their child develops into a well-rounded and hopefully &quot;well-adjusted&quot; adult. This very well may involve FORCING your child to do activities the kid says they don't want to do. Too bad!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course if you force them to do activities that they have no talent in then it will be a losing cause. The key is for you to identify those things that your child has some talent/potential in and make them participate in those activities. It may take some time but success will breed interest and interests will turn into hobbies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cases you may have to tie-in video game/computer time with their having a &quot;good attitude&quot; at the activity. Otherwise, you'll see them moping instead of participating just to get back at you for forcing them into the activity. But the potential of losing video game/computer privileges does wonders to get them to &quot;pretend&quot; to enjoy themselves. It is remarkable how frequently &quot;pretending&quot; to enjoy yourself eventually turns into really enjoying yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="695" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T21:01:53.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14101" CreationDate="2014-06-17T21:48:04.353" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Buy a bunch of different coloured paper for colage work.  Use old paper for papier mache.  Explain that ripping up stuff for this is fine, but ripping up other things is not fine, and might be naughty and might have consequences.  Explain that she needs to ask before ripping up anything that is not in the craft bucket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T21:48:04.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5245" CreationDate="2014-06-17T21:48:52.023" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/foods-to-avoid-pregnant.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NHS advice&lt;/a&gt; is to avoid:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;soft mould ripened cheese (e.g. brie)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;soft blue cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;soft unpasteurised cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cheeses that are fine to eat:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;all hard cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;all cooked cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;soft pasteurised cheese without a white rind or blue veins&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9171" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T21:48:52.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14124" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14127" CreationDate="2014-06-17T22:46:08.307" Score="2" ViewCount="3756" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner and I are unmarried and so have different surnames. Neither of us feel particularly strongly that our (first) child should have one surname or the other. We've considered giving it a double-barrelled name, an entirely new name, one surname as a middle name or something crazy like an &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_name&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Icelandic style name&lt;/a&gt; based on our first names. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What other options are there and what downsides might each option have?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9171" LastEditorUserId="9171" LastEditDate="2014-06-18T20:20:35.613" LastActivityDate="2018-04-21T19:30:01.363" Title="Choosing a surname for child of unmarried couple" Tags="|pregnancy|names|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14124" CreationDate="2014-06-17T22:48:18.493" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do your parents feel about the surname? Do either of your parents have strong feelings about the family name being passed down? Is your child a boy or girl? I would reach out to the extended family and see what they think. Grandparents tend to get a little crazy about grandkids&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-06-17T22:48:18.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14124" CreationDate="2014-06-17T23:53:38.237" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have different surnames. I do not particularly like hyphenated surnames so we chose hers as the surname and mine as a middle name. Our children's names are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;lt;firstname&amp;gt; &amp;lt;secondname&amp;gt; &amp;lt;mysurname&amp;gt; &amp;lt;mywife'ssurname&amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You almost never have to specify the full set of names; my 6 yo is not even really aware that he has four names.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Works for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="2888" LastEditDate="2014-06-18T00:13:58.520" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T00:13:58.520" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14124" CreationDate="2014-06-18T05:42:57.167" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You do have a number of options. In my opinion, a double-barrelled name would work best but what is best is what you can both agree on (Yes I live in the real world and know that's not always easy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a side note, if you and your partner have plans to marry and she plans to take your surname, then it's a no brainer really.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9159" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-17T22:37:58.503" LastActivityDate="2018-04-17T22:37:58.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14124" CreationDate="2014-06-18T08:19:56.513" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many countries have laws that govern how surnames are given. Have you checked the laws that apply in your country?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To name a few examples I'm familiar with, a child of unmarried parents usually gets the surname of the mother but with a small amount of paperwork the father's surname can be given instead. I'm not sure whether it's even possible to give the child a combination of both parents' names, or even that Icelandic style you mention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider the implications on the feelings of identity of the child. If it's common to have the parents' name then the child might feel as an outsider if given a nonstandard name. It can be a cool detail, a conversation starter, but also a disruption and an annoyance. It can also make everyday interactions with daycare etc. complicated when the family bonds aren't obvious from the name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T08:19:56.513" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-18T08:28:14.860" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking from experience, IT is pretty much an ideal hobby for someone with ASD. It will stand him in very good stead later in life, and may spark his interest in other topics such as maths, neuroscience, robotics, physics, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an ASD person he's probably only going to enjoy socialising with people with shared interests, people he can have interesting conversations with. Could he learn programming? Perhaps get him on a code camp, or an after school code club.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T08:28:14.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-18T10:06:08.837" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to distinguish between the different things you want to achieve, and find separate strategies for each one. Vague activities with several related goals, although normally how we approach social interaction (not 'I will go to this party to look for a wife', but 'I will go out in order to have fun, and maybe make some friends, and maybe I will meet someone I want to go out with...') are the problem here. He doesn't know whether he is being instructed to do sports, or to get out of the house, or to talk to other children, or what, and so he doesn't know how to comply. This is scary in itself, before the activity has even started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your goal is to get your son to do something other than sit in his room and play computer, you can and should encourage him to find a hobby. It could even be something computer related such as programming (if you just want to make sure he isn't playing games all day), or you could enforce something physically active if you are worried about his fitness. @user132193's suggestions are useful here. You need to let him choose, while informing him about what is possible, and encouraging him to persist with the things he tries. However, it is quite possible that he will choose something that meets your requirements but doesn't involve any social interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you goal is to make sure that he develops social skills, you need to work on these with him. This could mean that you manage some social activities with other children, also that you try and help him understand how to behave in certain situations. You have to be prepared to work with him in what might seem like a 'cynical' way on improving his social skills and making friends - discussing strategies, plans and situations before and after interacting with other kids. (Think of it as like learning a language by living in a foreign country - you pick up a lot just through exposure, but you have to go home every evening and look up the new words you've heard in your dictionary.) You also have to be ready to justify to him what the point of making friends is. Again, he might fulfil your requirements, without going beyond them - doing some amount of socializing, but without wanting any more or seeming to take much pleasure in it. You can create opportunities for him to have a close friend whom he spends a lot of time with, but you can't make this happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5000" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T10:06:08.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-18T10:23:32.650" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Far be it from me to classify your son but perhaps he does not like being too social, being bored easily and slightly Autistic it sounds like he could be very intelligent. &#xA;So here are some ideas :&#xA;Outdoor:&#xA;Buy a 'flexifoil' power kite, fun, solo activity, good for fitness and strength, hours spent out in the sun and wind. At the same time he's learning about the weather, physics etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;geocaching &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geocaching&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geocaching&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;is also a good mix of tech and outdoor fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back indoors : Perhaps an electronics set, an android phone, cheap robotics etc.&#xA;seriously consider the advice given here about computer programming ( look up appinventor) &lt;a href=&quot;http://appinventor.mit.edu/explore/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://appinventor.mit.edu/explore/&lt;/a&gt;,  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might think about motivational media, ted.com is worth a look.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Passion for life comes through interest. You can not force him to be interested in something. In fact as others have said here, it will probably have the opposite effect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would have made a great musician if my parents hadn't forced it down my throat like a daily chore.&#xA;The only thing I was interested in was being a rally driver, my parents hated this idea , so I became one - one of the best in the country for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about what makes him laugh, when is he totally focussed on something.&#xA;Introversion is not a bad thing, most people suck anyway :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9184" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T10:23:32.650" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14124" CreationDate="2014-06-18T10:43:34.247" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;1) try to match the syllables&#xA;names are easy to remember when the syllables match, it's an old advertising trick&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1:1&#xA;James Black&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2:2&#xA;Mur ray Pot ter&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3:3&#xA;O sa ma  ne ver mind&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4:4&#xA;Eb in e sa  Ei sen how er&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Think about what it will sound like when you yell it down the hallway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Will people shorten it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Will it have connotations later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you put this much thought into what you will teach him/her throughout its childhood, best of luck .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9184" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T10:43:34.247" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-18T10:53:04.920" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a nephew with two great parents, and they enrolled him on a horse riding course especially for children with autism.  The kids benefit greatly from this and my nephew absolutely loved it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll know yourself if this is a viable hobby for your son, or if he might enjoy horseriding without the therapeutic setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Involve your son in the decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all martial arts classes are the same, some are very technical and some are more energetic, your son might enjoy the more energetic classes as most people can't be bothered with boring intricate katas, but enjoy hitting pads and getting fit.  Also some &quot;Sensai's&quot; have Napoleon complexes that result in them insisting that everyone calls them &quot;Sensai&quot; and behaves like a 16th Century monk while in the class. Try Tae Kwon Do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He could take a break from scouts and go back in a few months after trying something different for a while.  Any child's behaviour changes and develops over time and although he's not enjoying scouts now, he might enjoy it more in a few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9185" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T10:53:04.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14124" CreationDate="2014-06-18T12:29:27.977" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You and your partner may not feel particularly strongly about this, but depending on where you live, those around you may. They may make some assumptions about you based on this decision or they may not see it as a decision you made but as a symptom of a different route to familyhood. In North America, you would likely see people concluding:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;3 different last names: the child was born to the mother but fathered by another man, whose last name the child carries and who is involved in the child's life as a father. You are the step father.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 different last names, child has hers: as above but the bio father has been out of the picture since before the child was born&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 different last names, child has yours: she is a &quot;career woman&quot; who doesn't put family first&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;all 1 last name: &quot;normal&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;child has both parent's names, hyphenated: normal, but in some geographies (eg small towns) might be seen as stuck-up or snobbish, or that you aren't married&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;mother and child have hyphenated last names, father has one of those names: normal but again possibly stuck up or snobbish, though in this case it will be assumed you're married&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;all three have hyphenated last  names: back to just &quot;normal&quot; since it's possible that was the father's name all his life and the wife and child have taken it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are pretty sweeping assumptions to make but they do get made. (People judge very quickly and on very tiny things, and don't bother learning the actual truth most times.) You will also find that doors open to people with the same last name as a child, whether it's at the school, hospitals, etc. Further, if you have another child it's useful for the children to have the same last name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know some couples who have chosen a new last name for themselves and their children, and while their own parents may not have been happy about it, it certainly made them feel empowered and at the same time simplified dealing with the rest of their day to day existence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-06-19T14:57:45.143" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T14:57:45.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-18T12:48:44.863" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just a short answer to make an additional suggestion to the ones already given, which I'm kind of surprised hasn't come up already: board, dice, card or other tabletop games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games of this kind often go down well with people on the Autism spectrum because they offer an activity with clearly-defined, easily understood boundaries. And it's obviously a pretty short step from computer games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big difference is that they are necessarily social: the majority cannot be played without at least one other person, and many really need more than one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hobby games are a world away from well-known family games like Monopoly: they're sleek, well designed products, often with compact rules and easily accommodated play times and yet are full of thematic colour and challenging strategy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are board gaming clubs in most major cities, and you'll probably find them to be entirely welcoming of people on the autism spectrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7444" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T12:48:44.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-18T13:26:22.167" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my own experience, I remember stopping playing football (soccer) because I didn't enjoy it at the age of 13 when basically all I ever did was playing soccer. I felt like I had enough after I suffered a broken leg during a game.&#xA;I tried coming back to my level before my broken leg and gave up a few months later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that time, when I told my father I was getting sick of football, he told me &quot;Okay, what you wanna do?&quot; and I went &quot;why not try tennis instead?&quot; and he went &quot;Okay let's go then&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next day I was meeting the football coach telling him I was giving up and it was good bye. In a day or so I had just given up on approx 8 years of football.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back in the days, I felt like I was lucky my dad (who was so much into football) agreed with my decision and never second guessed me. Nowadays, I really regret he never asked me WHY I wanted to stop, why didn't I like what I did for so many years (my entire life back then).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He probably felt like &quot;okay he's not into it anymore let's not push him&quot;. But he should have. I'm not blaming him though, he had other things in his mind for sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is, don't just take your son's boredom for actual dislike of his hobby. Maybe there's something you can simply change by discussing it and he might be back into his hobby more than ever. With more wisdom and looking back at it, all I needed was some hope that I could get back to my top-level and even better. But when I, alone, started to doubt it, I got bored and the lack of second guessing you have at a young age should be brought to you by your parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything, maybe I would've still gone for tennis but maybe I'd still be playing football now and my life might have been different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm trying to say is don't let your son quit anything he does just for the sake of it being boring for some time. Try to get into his thoughts as of why it has become boring, what has changed, what is different from the time he enjoyed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, for sure, I don't have any knowledge about autism so what I'm saying might be way harder or even impossible. But it's worth a shot in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another point about computer hobby:&#xA;I've been playing computer games for pretty much 12-13 years now and met incredible people on the internet doing so. I was very comfortable talking to people over the microphone, but I really sucked in real life. Until one day, when I joined a student movement and got to know a totally different myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yeah, computer can be a good educational hobby but real life social skills are only granted to those who socialize in real life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cheers and good luck to you, hope I could help a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9186" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T13:26:22.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-18T13:31:05.540" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're having a personality clash with your mother in law. This is not necessarily a problem which you must fix. Instead, you can simply avoid it. Let her take care of the children, while you take a break, or do other things that need doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In life, you do not have to resolve differences with and achieve the respect and admiration of person X, for all X.  (Let alone for values of X equal to &quot;mother in law&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as &quot;respect as a father figure goes&quot;, it's important for the children to respect their father as a father figure. It doesn't matter if other people don't regard you as a father figure for those children, especially if their judgment is based on some personal grudge rather than objective evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9179" LastEditorUserId="9179" LastEditDate="2014-06-18T14:07:57.303" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T14:07:57.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-18T14:32:19.707" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have to let your mother-in-law come visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do your best to control your temper. You be polite. You be considerate. You don't argue. Remember: This is a temporary situation. She will leave. Maybe not soon enough for you, but she will leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parent in-laws are hard people to get along with. Once your kids grow up and get married, you'll see their spouses and won't approve. After all, your children are the best. They're princesses. They're bright and talented. Whoever they marry won't be good enough for you either. This is your Mother-in-law's world. Her princess married &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. What a disappointment when she could have married that really nice boy, Prince William III of Luxembourg.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What about the children? They will learn from your encounter. They will learn that you treat your parents (even in-laws) with respect. That you control your emotions. That you sometimes have to put up with very difficult people. (And, yes. They will see your mother-in-law as a very difficult person.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And your mother-in-law will sooner or later learn that you're not such a bad guy because no matter what she says, you treat her with kindness. Sure, you're no Prince William III of Luxembourg, but you're not as bad as she first thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a very difficult father-in-law who was not happy with me. By every one of his criteria, I was wrong for his daughter. I learned to control my temper around him. I learned not to argue with him. I kept my mouth shut. I smiled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took over a decade, but he learned to respect me. He learned that his daughter truly loves me and I love his daughter. He learned that I might not have raised my kids the way he would have, but he sees they turned out okay in the end, and that my kids love me and I love my kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking about difficult, my mom is a very difficult person, and my wife had the same issue with her as I had with my father-in-law. I gave her the same advice. Be kind. Be nice, and the relationship will improve. Remember, if my mom is combative and argumentative. It's her fault and not yours. You've been polite and kind. She's the one with the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And things did improve. We visit my mom, and my mom comes and visits us. My house isn't up to my mom's cleanliness standards. My wife's cooking isn't up to my mom's standard. My mom will occasionally role her eyes, but she gets along with my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, your wife can help too. When my mom and my wife were not getting along, I kept reminding my mom that I love my wife, and I'm not going to divorce her, and for my sake, please try to get along with her. When my mom said nasty things about my wife, I reminded her that this is my wife, I love her, and please don't say those type of things to me because it hurts me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was having problems with my father-in-law, my wife told him the same thing. I'm her husband.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish there would be an easier way. You can't demand to your wife that her mother can't visit. Your wife loves her mother. Be aware that your kids know the situation and exactly what's going on. They may like the sweets and the presents, but when your mother-in-law disrespects you, they know who's not &lt;em&gt;playing nice&lt;/em&gt;. Kids are a lot smarter than we think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a reason why there are so many mother-in-law jokes and cartoons. You're not alone. I hate to tell you that it may take years, and even after that, it will be a shaky détente. However, for your wife's sake, do your best to get along. Remember that the problem is your mother-in-law and not you. If you keep that in mind, your wife and your children will also see that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9189" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T14:32:19.707" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14000" CreationDate="2014-06-18T17:39:50.823" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Notify your husband.  He should not solve the problem for you. But he must know what's going on because you need to act on it. &#xA;If you fail to notify him, it will come as a surprise to him and you may lose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Men will naturally try to provide an immediate solution. Tell him that since this behaviour does not happen in front of him, he can't really react or discipline his son for things he's heard from you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far for your husband.&#xA;For you, I single out one line from your question:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;I feel bad, as he is only a child still&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is your problem.&#xA;Even this is true (which, at 12 years, is questionable), he certainly does not want to be a child. And he certainly does not want to be treated like one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Letting him do his own chores is an understandable reaction, but it is also power-play. You are making him do chores, because you are the Boss and he is the Child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be more productive to approach him differently. Approach him like an adult, with rights and responsibilities.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He wants to be an adult. Treat him like one!&#xA;One of the responsibilities of an adult is: Respect. Failure to show respect is failure to control oneself, so this behaviour is childish. &#xA;You can make him do chores as well, but not as punishment - but because he's a big boy now.&#xA;Give him influence, listen to him - but as soon as he wants to behave like a child, tell him you'll treat him like a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 12. He is starting to grow up - a lot. And your way of interacting with him must grow up as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9194" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T17:39:50.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10712" CreationDate="2014-06-18T18:01:45.777" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not uncommon for children to find out that there is a pleasurable feeling down there.  After all, it's not like it's switched on once they are 18 - although many parents would wish that to avoid awkward conversations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the first post goes past the innocence pretty fast and focusses on problems. &#xA;I'd not scold him for having feelings. But the behaviour is inappropriate.&#xA;Scolding shows you are upset and makes this into a bigger thing than it needs to be. He must adjust his behaviour, just like he learns to eat with his mouth closed and keep his elbows off the table. &#xA;If it reassures you, remember that kids at this age&#xA;- do have feelings&#xA;- are very curious about anything new&#xA;- but are not interested in actual sex&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is enough trust between you and your son, he will keep you informed about his knowledge about these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9194" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T18:01:45.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13931" CreationDate="2014-06-18T18:38:20.630" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dreaded? By whom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ok, to be totally honest, the first time, I was sitting in a bar, chatting and drinking coffee, and I was totally unprepared for the out-of-the-blue 'where do babies come from?' &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the question comes back, every now and then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually it is enough to give true and honest answers, at a level the child can understand. I answer the questions and follow-up questions, and then I see the interest fade again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my advice is: If you avoid it completely, it becomes an 'all or nothing' thing, and you have to have 'The Talk'.  In my case, I think our child will know everything there is to know at that age, but without being told all at once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the bottom line is: It's not a big thing for the child. You can go with the flow, or you can &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; it a big thing. It's up to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9194" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T18:38:20.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14144" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-18T19:16:33.247" Score="5" ViewCount="1106" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids at 5 tend to be more playful and active. I want to find out if there are proven ways to inculcate the habit of concentration from such a young age, which will help the kid not only at school but at any other activity he performs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Appreciate your suggestions/advice!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9195" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2014-06-18T20:21:46.897" LastActivityDate="2018-03-29T08:26:23.577" Title="How to inculcate concentration for 5 yr old kid?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14076" CreationDate="2014-06-18T19:53:04.123" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had Baby Banz too, but my baby didn't like to keep them on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Evolution has a nice way of protecting baby's eyes even without sunglasses; pupils contract in bright light, preventing excess UV exposure.  And babies can close their eyes if it's too bright for them, which they will do.  So I wouldn't worry too much about the sunglasses, especially since you will be taking other precautions about sun exposure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest danger with sunglasses is using cheap ones that do not block 100% of the UV light.  Then, the visible light will appear darker so the pupils will not contract much, and the larger pupils will allow lots more UV light to enter the eye.  That's often how eyes get damaged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7886" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T19:53:04.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14144" CreationDate="2014-06-18T20:06:56.647" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From everything I've read, getting them involved in reading goes a long way toward building concentration skills. We have read to our daughter since she was able to keep her eyes on the books. She reads to us now. Sometimes from memory, other because she has learned the words. This has also led to her being able to keep herself occupied for longer periods of time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T20:06:56.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14039" CreationDate="2014-06-18T20:34:18.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From personal experience, I'd recommend helping him find activities that involve socializing WITHOUT small talk.  Spending time in the company of girls his age without the pressure to act like an extrovert will allow your son to develop friendships, and maybe relationships, without feeling like he needs to become someone he's not.  A club with a small number of people (where cliques are less likely to be present), focused on a topic that he is willing to explore, could be the perfect scenario for him.  Maybe a photography class, or a school play, or a community service club.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also consider activities in neighboring towns, where he would meet a new group of kids and might consider it a fresh start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7886" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T20:34:18.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-18T21:14:49.887" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a parent of a 5 year old and I was diagnosed being on the scale some time ago. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me recommend two things that I would have found helpful as a kid and we're finding works well for my son (also on the scale). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First and foremost - do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; attempt to force certain hobbies on your kid. &#xA;It doesn't work and won't be a hobby. Lord knows I went through enough times of that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find things that can be both fun and useful. My son loves PS3 and computer games. We've rebuilt several of each of them together. LAN party? He helps set up. We're also tinkerers - working on small engines, etc. &lt;strong&gt;Whatever you do it needs to be something that engages critical thinking first, and then a lesser degree of creativity and socialization.&lt;/strong&gt; Doing it in the other order spells disaster. In general the smaller the group and the more focused on knowing what will be done ahead of time the better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really want him to have face time, if he gets into it look into D&amp;amp;D, pathfinder, table games, etc. Again it's critical thinking first, creativity, socialization (in that order). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1893" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T21:14:49.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-06-18T21:24:43.360" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may be bit late but I don't think anyone else has covered what I wanted to say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a similar problem to your daughter; when I am nervous or anxious I sometimes get a nearly irresistible urge to smile or even laugh. Of course I do try to stop myself, and can most of the time now I am an adult, but not always.  I have never really understood why it happens but I have some suggestions for coping:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First make sure she understands why it is a problem, especially with people who don't her, and that she needs to try and suppress it. Tell her you understand this is hard but she should be able to improve with time and practice. If she can't stop then there are still things she can do to manage it better. You leaving the room to calm down seems like a sensible idea, and you should tell her to do the same thing: if she feels the irresistible laughter coming on, she should say she needs to calm down or have a time out and then leave the room. If the laughing has started she can still just leave, if she can do this hopefully it will make it easier for you too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly it might be easier for her to shout or cry instead of laughing, rather than trying to suppress it completely. You could explain to her how 'normal' people would respond to the situation/emotion and she could try to make her reactions closer to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirdly if it just a smile then I have found it is better to put my hands over my face to hide it and act like I am upset / sickened by what is happening rather than sit there with a big grin on my face when someone is angry or upset. Also this actually gives other people a better idea of my real emotions than what my face is showing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly it is possible she also has the same reaction in other circumstances, eg when giving a presentation at school, or if she or someone else is very upset. You could ask her about this and if it's relevant explain to her teachers at school that it's not just misbehaviour. It would also be a good idea to check that she knows which other situations it is inappropriate to laugh in otherwise she could get some very confusing and bad reactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that is helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9200" LastActivityDate="2014-06-18T21:24:43.360" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-19T00:27:43.463" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mustn't play games in this situation. Passively or indirectly dealing with her will only enforce her attitude toward you that you're inferior to her... not just in parenting, but in the dominant/submissive roles the two of you seem to possess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) You need your wife on board. You and she are supposed to be a team. Explain to her how your mother makes you feel when she undermines your authority. Give her your side of the story. Your MIL quite possibly has a complete lack of trust in your parenting skills, or she mightn't just like you as a person. Either way, make it crystal clear how her actions impact you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Once she's on your side about this situation, agree to have a sit-down with your MIL to discuss how she attempts to control the situation. Don't let your wife lead the conversation, but rather lead it yourself. A good way to deal with this is to write down what you want to say, and have MIL read it. DO NOT focus on what she is doing &lt;strong&gt;wrong&lt;/strong&gt;, but rather on &lt;strong&gt;how what she does makes you feel&lt;/strong&gt;. Her method may be &quot;right&quot; in her mind; you cannot argue this. No one, however, is more qualified to define your feelings than &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Try to befriend MIL. Take her out to lunch, and talk to her. Ask her lots of questions. Ask her for advice on parenting. Be the SIL that she thinks she wants. But get her one-on-one, and attempt to win her over that way. Let her get to know you as a person. If she comes to care about you, she will most certainly be less quick to judge your parenting methods, or undermine you. &quot;Kill her with kindness.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Until you have a handle on things, you're lord of the manor. Don't let her step on you. It's time to polish off the brass set that every man has, and let her know that her negativity is unwelcome in &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dealing with FILs and MILs isn't easy, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this. But also be thankful that you're still with your wife. Dealing with an ex-MIL is 1000x worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9202" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T00:27:43.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-19T05:27:50.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on your description, I see no way to keep your wife out of this (except to roll over).  Actually I think your wife's disposition will singularly determine the outcome.  Talk to your wife without the MIL around.  Leave the house to have this conversation if necessary.  MIL cannot overhear it.  Explain everything.  Make the case that the two of you are the ultimate authority figures for your kids, and no one can be allowed to contradict you; and that the two of you must be unified and in 100% agreement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your wife does not agree with that, or does not agree to back you up when you confront the MIL with this, then you have already lost.  You can't win in that situation because the MIL will appeal to your wife and turn you against each other.  If this is your situation, and you can't change your wife's mind, your house is divided; I see no good options for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if your wife is in agreement, you can't lose.  Take the initiative.  With your wife present, do something ordinary (&quot;no dessert tonight&quot;) that you are sure your MIL will try to contradict you on.  When she does, lay down the law.  Tell her you are the authority figure and you will not be contradicted.  You tell her these things, not your wife.  Get your wife to stand beside you - literally - and to voice her agreement when MIL asks her.  Stand up straight and look MIL in the eye.  Don't look away, don't slouch, don't shift your stance or your gaze, don't bargain, and don't have a lengthy debate.  If MIL fails to comply quickly, just give her the ultimatum that she has to respect your authority over the children or leave your home immediately.  (If MIL is really that way, she may call your bluff; so don't bluff, be willing to follow through!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since this has been going on a long time, I wonder if it may be a good idea if the kids see this, especially if they are often disrespectful or defiant towards you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, just don't lose your temper or give her any excuse to report you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7736" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T05:27:50.337" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14042" CreationDate="2014-06-19T08:01:07.573" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The administrator is going for total risk avoidance. So play that game.&#xA;I would ask the pediatrician to rephrase the letter, to explicitely order the child to play outside, unless there are some specific circumstances.  The circumstances can be indicated by you or the child, since the child himself is a perfect judge on what situation he can tolerate.&#xA;I also like the discrimination-attitude. This also plays right into the risk-avoidance attitude.&#xA;Either that, or withdraw the letter altogether - followed by a letter that you hold them responsible if anything happens to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any of these three should be followed up by a meeting with the school administrators and staff. Explain that you understand the risk-avoidance but you simply want to go back to a good situation that worked well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, I'd put up a brief note on the message board for all parents to read, to let them know how a misunderstanding escalated this situation.&#xA;I'd make sure to mention they most likely meant the best for the child, but the outcome is the worst. So people know that their anonymous well-meant remarks can have unforseen consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9147" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T08:01:07.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2014-06-19T11:25:55.137" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the one and only most important thing to consider is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will have to live his entire life with this name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast-forward imagine in your mind how he will be called in school, in college, during work. Try to imagine how people will react to this name, which nicknames they might give. And if you think that your child will do fine with that name, then you got the right one. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T11:25:55.137" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-06-19T11:25:55.137" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-19T12:48:25.620" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Believe me, talking with your MIL wont help. You need to take drastic measures and your wife has to know why and stand behind them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell MIL dont interfere or she isnt allowed to visit her gran kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dale Carnegie strategies (playing nice) would work if it wasnt happening for awhile, but you said four years. Its too late to play nice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9214" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T12:48:25.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14160" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14161" CreationDate="2014-06-19T14:48:57.530" Score="9" ViewCount="705" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard of a few cases where a stepparent will adopt their spouse's child from a previous relationship.  When is this appropriate, and what are the consequences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this can be a broad topic, but specifically, I am curious as to the affect this has on the child's relationship with their other biological parent, and whether it effects the ability to collect court ordered child support payments.  Also, should this only be done if the child wants it, assuming the child is old enough to make that decision?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7351" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T15:20:18.727" Title="When to adopt a stepchild?" Tags="|adoption|step-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14160" CreationDate="2014-06-19T15:20:18.727" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.childwelfare.gov&quot;&gt;Child Welfare Information Gateway&lt;/a&gt;, adopting a stepchild is actually the most common form of adoption.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my understanding, the primary purpose of adopting a stepchild is to sever all legal ties to the absent biological parent.  According to &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_step.pdf&quot;&gt;this factsheet&lt;/a&gt;, after the stepparent adoption occurs, the noncustodial parent no longer has &lt;strong&gt;any&lt;/strong&gt; rights or responsibilities for the child, including child support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These laws vary (within the United States) from state to state, and at least some may require consent of the noncustodial parent:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Stepparent adoption is governed by State law. Most States make the adoption process a little easier for stepparents, but requirements for home studies, criminal background checks, and procedures for obtaining consent of the noncustodial parent vary widely by State. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've only ever seen this done when the relationship between the child and the noncustodial parent is bad.  Really bad.  Such as cases of outright abuse, or a complete disinterest in participating in the child's life in any capacity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that yes, this should only be done if the child wants it (assuming they are old enough).  If the child doesn't want to sever ties with the biological parent, expect a tremendous amount of resentment and anger to interfere with any attempts by the stepparent to form a close relationship.  It could also easily spill over and harm the relationship between the child and the custodial biological parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be difficult, as it takes a lot for a young child to want to disassociate with a biological parent, even in cases of abusive relationships.  Once a child is in their teens, a separation of this nature may (or may not) be a much easier transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that it should be a given that the child's relationship with the noncustodial biological parent should be either nonexistent, or irreparably negative, before stepparent adoption is even considered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T15:20:18.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14144" CreationDate="2014-06-19T15:39:57.090" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keeping your children &lt;strong&gt;physically active&lt;/strong&gt; will greatly help their ability to sit still and concentrate. This has been shown scientifically in study after study. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Regular exercise releases brain chemicals key for memory, concentration, and mental sharpness [...] exercise also stimulates brain regions that are involved in memory function to release a chemical called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). &lt;strong&gt;BDNF rewires memory circuits so they work better&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(from &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/regular-exercise-releases-brain-chemicals-key-for-memory-concentration-and-mental-sharpness&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;May 2013 Harvard Men's Health Watch&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In a 2007 report, Dr. Stewart Trost of Oregon State University links as little as 15 minutes of physical activity to improved concentration, memory and classroom behavior among elementary school students. Contrary to what may be expected, &lt;strong&gt;the improved concentration and academic performance were more pronounced among children who exercised than in those who had an additional lesson.&lt;/strong&gt; As such, eliminating breaks for physical activity to fit in additional lessons may be counterproductive when teaching children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(from &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.livestrong.com/article/457834-does-exercise-improve-concentration/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;livestrong.com&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditDate="2018-03-29T08:26:23.577" LastActivityDate="2018-03-29T08:26:23.577" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14163" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-19T16:29:48.990" Score="10" ViewCount="36048" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought some play-sand for our new sandbox on a rainy day, then left the bags unopened on our patio to dry for a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been about a week and they haven't dried, and now my wife is wondering if they're growing dangerous mold/bacteria/what-have-you and should be discarded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is this fear justified?  Should we get new sand or treat the sand we have somehow?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are wet bags of wet play-sand actually common and we should just dry them out going forward?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the sand likely to dry adequately by leaving it in a sandbox for another week with its cover on?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="942" LastActivityDate="2021-08-18T21:08:06.567" Title="Is there any health risk from play-sand that's been left wet in its bags for a week?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14164" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14167" CreationDate="2014-06-19T16:35:22.597" Score="3" ViewCount="1538" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the effects of teacher job share on pupil attainment, at UK primary school level (age approx 4 to 11)? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the UK, most pupils have a single teacher for all subjects at this age (rather than subject-specialist teachers) but flexible working practices sometimes permit two teachers to job-share, usually on a basis of 2 days one teacher / 3 days another teacher. Both teachers would still usually be teaching all core subjects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for references or studies rather than anecdotal experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2018-03-28T13:31:49.910" Title="What are the effects of teacher job share on pupil attainment?" Tags="|primary-schooler|teaching|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14163" CreationDate="2014-06-19T17:06:32.613" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;To ease your mind you can clean the play sand.  This can be by boiling it for at least ten minutes.  Yes, this is messy and needs big pots and lots of water and energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find a child safe antisceptic.  One brand name in the UK is &quot;Milton&quot;. Use the manufacterer recommendations and wash the sand, through a sieve, into another bucket.  Then wash the sand with water back into a different bucket.  Drain it, spread it on an old towel in a dry place to let it not be soaking. Then either let it dry or put it where ever it's going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T17:06:32.613" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14164" CreationDate="2014-06-19T18:46:18.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This site seems to have a relevant article but it requires registration to view it:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.usethekey.org.uk/curriculum-and-learning/developing-teacher-practice/teachers-job-sharing-how-effective-is-it-for-pupils#section-2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.usethekey.org.uk/curriculum-and-learning/developing-teacher-practice/teachers-job-sharing-how-effective-is-it-for-pupils#section-2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: here is the paper without registration:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.teachers.org.uk/files/job-sharing-nut-guidance-jan-2012.doc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.teachers.org.uk/files/job-sharing-nut-guidance-jan-2012.doc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;There is no evidence that splitting responsibility for classes in any&#xA;  way affects pupils’ education.  OFSTED concluded in a 1994 research&#xA;  report that the quality of work of part-time teachers, including job&#xA;  sharers, was “significantly above the national average”.  In its&#xA;  reports on individual schools OFSTED has commented favourably on the&#xA;  benefits of job share arrangements, including the quality of&#xA;  educational provision and the good progress made by pupils taught by&#xA;  job sharers.  In addition, employment tribunals have rejected any&#xA;  assumption that job sharing has an adverse effect on education.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9217" LastEditorUserId="9217" LastEditDate="2018-03-28T13:31:49.910" LastActivityDate="2018-03-28T13:31:49.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14144" CreationDate="2014-06-19T19:02:19.760" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This advice below found online is relevant. Bear in mind also children can usually only focus on a single activity for their age + 2 mins, so don't expect more than about 7 minutes on any one thing. Not to say they can't go longer if they are really engaged :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Children's cognitive, linguistic, and motor-skill levels also affect&#xA;  their willingness and ability to concentrate. If an activity is too&#xA;  challenging in any one of these areas, children either may choose not&#xA;  to participate or may stay with the activity only for a short time.&#xA;  For example, children who choose blocks over art tend to feel more&#xA;  confident in and comfortable with large-motor skills than small-motor&#xA;  skills. Our role as teachers is to support children in developing&#xA;  concentration for activities of their choosing (by providing ample&#xA;  time for them to choose each day). At the same time, we need to gently&#xA;  encourage children to experiment and stay with activities that&#xA;  challenge skills they're not as comfortable with (by providing&#xA;  entry-level activities that are both inviting and potentially&#xA;  successful).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As you know, children's moods also have an effect on their ability to&#xA;  focus. If a child comes to school upset, tired, or overly excited, he&#xA;  may be too distracted to concentrate on an activity, particularly a&#xA;  new or challenging one. By understanding that his lack of&#xA;  concentration is related to a mood, you can help him deal with the&#xA;  cause (the mood), not the symptom (the lack of focus). Once the cause&#xA;  has been sensitively addressed, the symptom just may improve.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scholastic.com/parents/resources/article/stages-milestones/how-kids-learn-to-concentrate&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.scholastic.com/parents/resources/article/stages-milestones/how-kids-learn-to-concentrate&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9217" LastEditorUserId="9217" LastEditDate="2018-03-28T13:31:22.677" LastActivityDate="2018-03-28T13:31:22.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14163" CreationDate="2014-06-19T20:10:24.380" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The ultra-violet component of sunlight is anti-microbial and anti-fungal. If you're worried about the wet sand, spread it out in the sandbox and the next bright sunny day will disinfect it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless the sand is very pure, and thus empty of any nutrients, you're probably right that it's a breeding ground for bacteria right now. But I doubt it's anything that could hurt your child since bacteria and fungi are vital parts of all soil that your kids walk over and play in every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2715" LastEditorUserId="2715" LastEditDate="2014-06-20T18:20:36.607" LastActivityDate="2014-06-20T18:20:36.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14170" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14172" CreationDate="2014-06-19T20:17:50.900" Score="6" ViewCount="10523" Body="&lt;p&gt;Background: two or three times a year, I travel to conferences for work.  I'm usually gone for about a week.  I can miss some of these conferences, but missing all of them would be very detrimental to my career.  Since I go all over the world, my husband usually comes with me and we turn the trip into a vacation for the two of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problem: I'm expecting my first child in September and I'm not sure how to handle the travel once the baby arrives.  I have two basic options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Travel without the baby.  Since my husband usually comes along on the trips, this would mean leaving the baby with his grandparents.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Travel with both the baby and my husband.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My main concern with 1 is that I'll be the baby's primary caregiver, and I'm not sure if he'll feel abandoned if I leave him with someone else, especially when he's very young.  With an older child I could at least explain why I'm leaving and when I'll get home.  My main concern with 2 is that I'm not sure if travelling with a young baby is safe.  For example, my last trip was to India, where mosquito-borne illnesses are an issue.  In addition, the travel can be physically exhausting -- the India trip took twenty hours of flying and a twelve hour time change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question: are there long-term psychological consequences to leaving a young baby with another caregiver for a week?  Is doing so worse than exposing the baby to the risks of travel?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7185" LastActivityDate="2018-06-17T06:58:24.683" Title="Travelling when baby is young: bring them or leave them?" Tags="|travel|working-parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14170" CreationDate="2014-06-19T21:29:37.743" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are a few separate questions in here, and I'm not sure how to unpick them. The one about leaving the child with another caregiver seems to be very easy to disprove - people have been doing this since the dawn of time, in fact many cultures leave children with grandparents as standard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We certainly have taken as many opportunities to leave our kids with grandparents in order to get away for a week or two whenever we can. The grandparents love it, and the kids get a chance to bond with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the headline question seems to be simple - you have identified risks (such as illnesses etc) that you rate as dangerous, so it appears that you should leave the baby at home. As the baby gets older this decision may change - they are able to help with protecting themselves, and they may be more able to enjoy the journey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, however, many people take their young children, and many leave them - it's entirely up to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T21:29:37.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14170" CreationDate="2014-06-19T22:17:11.547" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several complicated issues you will need to resolve, some of which may not be issues for you depending on your approach to child rearing.  This is very complicated for a young baby (let's say, under 1); after 1 it's less complicated (though certainly not 'easy').&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Challenges to leaving the child home&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, are you planning to exclusively breastfeed the infant (ie, no formula)?  If you are, then you will need to ensure you can build up a large enough 'stash' for the duration of the trip, or fedex overnight frozen bottles (which is not as crazy as it sounds).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also will need to pump regularly during the trip, as often as your infant would normally feed (or pump an equivalent amount to a normal day's feeding with at least some frequency) in order to ensure your supply does not dwindle as a result of the missed days (and to avoid the discomfort of oversupply).  This milk may need to be stored, depending on your needs (some women easily produce enough to store, some do not; further, a small percentage are unable to store their milk for more than a few days, and so cannot build up a stash).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, if you are planning to at least partially breastfeed, the infant will miss that and may be difficult to get to sleep.  This varies by infant and by mother, both due to temperament and due to your beliefs towards things like sleep training.  Your parents may have a difficult time getting the baby to sleep comfortably, at least at first, which may be something they're unwilling to put up with (potentially multiple entirely sleepless nights).  This may actually be beneficial for the baby and your sleep habits in the long run (this is hotly debated), but it may be difficult in the short run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirdly, you may have difficulty emotionally parting from your child.  Even if you don't expect this now, your feelings on this matter likely will change at least to some extent once you have the baby, due to maternal hormonal changes.  Many women find it very difficult to part with their baby even for a work day; being away for several days can be extremely difficult.  Certainly this is not an obstacle for everyone, but it's something that can be hard to overcome for some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, how comfortable will you be with your parents taking care of your son?  This is a more complicated question than you'd think; different parenting styles, plus changes over time in personality, can often lead to significant conflict between new parents and grandparents as to what's acceptable.  Some of that is differences in generations - we now realize a lot of things are dangerous that we didn't realize before (carcinogens in plastics, the value of breastfeeding over formula, even C-section versus natural birth, have all changed significantly since your parents had you).  Some of it is also simply a matter of control and 'doing it your way'; your parents may have seemingly unimportant differences in approach (when they change diapers, how they do chores while watching the baby, TV on/off, etc.) that can easily turn into major conflicts post-birth.  You need to be very comfortable with them to ask them to watch your child for several days in a row, or you will end up both being stressed out by the distance and having a higher level of interpersonal conflict that you may wish to avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Challenges to taking the child along&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The major challenge will be simply performing normal vacation activities.  Going out to dinner, seeing the sites, etc., will all take a back seat to childcare.  His schedule will to some extent dictate when you can do things - dinner will probably be earlier, lunch will be in a limited time span around naps, sightseeing will be limited to an hour or two at most at a time (or she'll overtire, unless she's really good at napping in strollers).  Vacationing with children can be exhausting, at any age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may be able to overcome this in part by taking along another caregiver(s).  Can you take your parents along with on the trip, and ask them to take care of the baby part of the time?  That might be a good compromise - you still get lunches, dinners, sightseeing in to some extent, but you still have baby nearby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there are the risks you noted of disease.  Air travel with a very young child (under 3 months) is a very bad idea, as their immune system isn't up to full strength yet.  Under six months is still somewhat risky.  Even an older child will still have a reasonably high chance of getting sick simply from air travel (many adults do as well, after all) as you are in an enclosed environment with partially recycled air and lots of people from often different environments that have diseases you've never been exposed to.  Add on somewhere like India or Brazil (or really, any other country not near your own) with significantly different diseases, as well as tropical diseases (malaria, etc.), and you have much higher risks to the baby.  Some of these can be mitigated by limiting your child's exposure to other people, not drinking water (which a 3 month old wouldn't anyway if you breastfeed), and by breastfeeding (which will give some of your immunity to the child), but they can't be entirely eliminated.  If you do go with the child, make sure you have a good strategy for what to do if he gets sick; who you are calling first (your pediatrician? local doctor?), what doctor or ER you would go to if he needed attention, and where the local pharmacy is to obtain Tylenol or similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately this is a fairly personal decision, and comparing the consequences of each situation is not something you can really do at an impersonal level.  It is unlikely that there would be significant long term consequences to the child either way (as long as they don't catch a serious disease, I suppose); the most significant would likely be the change in your and his relationship with his grandparents, for better and/or for worse.  Realistically, the best advice I'd give you is simply to not make a decision now.  Try to put off planning your next trip until after you've had the baby, and after you know how you will change psychologically and emotionally as a result of having a child.  This change is unpredictable, even if you think you know how you'll feel, odds are you will be surprised by your emotions in some way.  Evaluate how things are a few weeks or a month after birth, and then make your decision at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-19T22:17:11.547" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14101" CreationDate="2014-06-20T02:56:04.860" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids of that age usually do this kind of thing either because they simply enjoy the drama and sensations connected with the activity, or because they are trying to figure the connections between their actions and the results, or a bit of both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best approach to dealing with it is to avoid telling her off unless absolutely necessary, but simply to explain that there is some paper that it is OK for her to tear up, and some that it is not. Show her the paper or books that are off-limits. Then show her a pile of paper or old books that you have decided she &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; destroy (perhaps acquired cheaply at a thrift store or yard sale), and tell her that when she tears it up, it has to happen in a particular spot in your house. This location is  preferably one that does not contain dangerous equipment, and that you can fairly easily clean up. Then keep an eye on her during the first few ripping-up sessions until it is clear that she has settled into doing it the way you have explained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7324" LastActivityDate="2014-06-20T02:56:04.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-20T09:00:20.817" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You dont force a hobby on a kid, you try to stimulate him having a hobby. Just try to figure out what he wants to do next time and accept the possible outcome of him never having a specific hobby. His hobby is doing different things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9214" LastActivityDate="2014-06-20T09:00:20.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14064" CreationDate="2014-06-20T11:54:32.450" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of good advice earlier David, and you seem to be a caring stand-up guy. Children need good fathers desperately so be confident, and assertive in YOUR position. On top of the advice earlier, I'm afraid I see this as well beyond a personality issue. When someone presents two faces to ANY party, that is not a person you turn your back on. Not unless you are prepared to be knifed.&#xA;I only qualify this by saying a MIL is a part of your EXTENDED family. The boundary is clear but you are neglecting to clarify it. The fear may be justifiable as your MIL may already in her mind be prepared to escalate the friction to WW3 (read that as your wife moving in with her and taking the kids). But short of abuse, as mentioned earlier, no-one other than your wife can TELL you. Only your wife is on equal standing with you as long as you stay the man she and your kids can lean on. In simple terms, your EXTENDED family needs to 'butt out', and team 'parents' is the one who decides how far the MIL is willing to push it. Not the MIL. Not the children. At anytime! So be confident and do not wait until she has pushed your level of frustration and anger to where you say or do something in front of your kids you cannot take back. Because I will bet, from what you describe that this may be exactly her agenda. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9225" LastActivityDate="2014-06-20T11:54:32.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11762" CreationDate="2014-06-20T17:15:23.440" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has had the same issue since he was born basically. He never really used to the toilet as his large bowel movements were very painful. He is now 10 years old and is going into 5th grade. I can finally say that I can see progress now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We seen tons of doctors, specialists and a lot of trips to the ER and urgent care because he had not had a bowl movement is 3-4 weeks. In the end, all we did was keep him on miralax. It started with a capful a day and he was around 7 years old when they gave him the prescription. Now that he is 10…and starting to understand what the feeling have needing to use the bathroom, I am down to half a cap of miralax a day mixed with 8 oz crystal light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought he was doing great so I just took him off the miralax. That was the worst mistake EVER. It was like we started all over again... another trip to the ER and his pants were soiled a few times a day for a month or two before the medicine started working again. All I can suggest is keep with the medication... one doctor told me once it took him 8 years to get this backed up it will take him AT LEAST 8 years to be normal. He may never be off the miralax, but at least he is able to go and control it easier than before. To be honest I am the one who did all the research to see what was wrong with my son, and the doctors just agreed that he had an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to all the families out there that are going through this. As a mother who has been dealing with this for the last 8 years, I am starting to feel some relief. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9230" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-07T14:21:28.923" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T14:21:28.923" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12585" CreationDate="2014-06-21T02:27:20.940" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son had this same problem. In fact, just tonight, he had a &quot;skid mark&quot; in his undies because he held his poo and it leaked out. It was his last day of school, so, like your son, he was too busy to hear nature calling. Btw- my boy is going to be ten in the fall! Way too old for this, IMO, but, it is leaps and bounds better than it was when he was 4-6 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent who has suffered through years of stench, ruined social events, embarrassment, frustration, and so on, I am willing to endure more unpleasantness if it will help you and your boy overcome this.  Here's what we did, under the guidance of a psychologist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, she told us that ultimately, for US as parents, it was a mere laundry problem that could be solved with bleach.  This was important advice because really, we were wound pretty tight by this issue and that wasn't helping.  Our first mission was to get everyone in the house to relax. How did we do that? We &lt;em&gt;completely&lt;/em&gt; ignored it. We stopped asking him. We would do the usual &quot;last chance for potty before we go out&quot; and then we would go. (Prepared for external clean ups, but nothing more.) No more bring held hostage by a child. If he pooped, we continued on with our day. The pediatrician assured us that he would seek help before any &lt;em&gt;serious&lt;/em&gt; harm was done, and reminded us of the environment inside a diaper that the boy survived. I realize you have tried this, but it really is about attitude. You can't ignore it, and yet be a basket case. Go deep inside yourself and really really let it go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, we publicized our bathroom habits. My husband and I would announce &quot;I'm going to go poop now, and when I'm done, I will get back to ___.&quot; We enlisted relatives to do this as well. You'd be surprised how hard this is for some people. It becomes clearer why the kid is having issues once you start seeing adults struggling with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, here's the part that I think will get everyone in an uproar. We made a pin for him to wear &lt;em&gt;only at home&lt;/em&gt; when he had accidents, or, whatever they are. It was about 2 inches by 2 inches, and it had &quot;I pooped my pants&quot; written on it. Whenever he pooped at school, and got off the bus reeking of poo, we would say nothing, but the badge would go on. If he pooped while watching tv at home. I'd put the badge on. You catch my drift? The first time I put it on, he was very insulted. Why do I have to wear that? I would ask him &quot;why do you think you have to wear it?&quot; This made &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; talk about it-be the first to bring it up. As soon as he said &quot;because I pooped in my pants&quot; I took it off. The deal was he had to wear it until 1) he cleaned himself up, or 2) admitted he pooped and asked for help.  A few times, he wore it for quite some time before he took action. We told him he could wear it as long as he wanted, but obviously it couldn't leave the house. He went back to playing until a friend came by and he didn't want his friend to see it so he hurried up and cleaned up.  That incident I must admit was the turning point for him. He finally got it.  It's embarrassing to poop my pants. It's not embarrassing to go to the bathroom or ask for help. Aha! I get to play if I have fresh britches!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, look. I've already been reamed out by my friends and family. He only ever had to wear it at &lt;em&gt;home.&lt;/em&gt;. We carefully guarded him from outside eyes.  Not one person who didn't share direct DNA with him ever saw him wear it.   We very seriously considered the impact such a method could have, but, to us the benefit outweighed the risk. He, like your son, had had issues with friends at school and in the neighborhood teasing him. We knew that the social consequences of his actions would be long lasting and severe. I can still remember the name of the kid in my kindergarten class that pooped his pants regularly. I can't name one other child. I refused to have that happen to my son.  So, it was worth a try.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The reason I asked if you knew his motivation was because I am sure that this method is not broadly applicable. In fact, you might think I'm  out of my mind for doing something so drastic. My boy seemed to think that no one noticed or that no one cared about his bad habit. He thought he had everyone, including Mother Nature fooled. He assumed that since he didn't mind the smell, no one else did.  Like your boy, the more we harassed him, the more defiant, sneaky, and determined he got to NOT use the toilet. He needed a strong message.  Here's how I think it works: The combination of removing the &quot;shame&quot; from using the toilet (by us announcing our bm's and talking about it openly) and making him feel shame where he should (when he poops his pants) we broke the cycle.  He didn't like wearing the badge, sort of like we didn't like he smell. He soon associated the smell and feeling of poopie pants with being unhappy. Kids that young aren't capable of true empathy or being objective, so it has to be about them and their feelings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want to be clear: This is not potty training. Making a young, untrained child feel ashamed of having an accident while learning is a big BIG mistake. However, my older child, who btw was successfully potty trained for almost two years before this started happening, was not having accidents. He was making a choice to hold his stool so that it would eek out uncontrollably. (Actually, he admitted that sometimes he would &quot;let a little out&quot; to buy himself some time!! Evidence that this was a decision he's making, not some physiological or medical issue. We knew it wasn't anyway, after a year spent testing, evaluating, laxative experimenting-all under a doctor's and several specialists' supervision..). &#xA;So, there you have it. Perhaps the most unconventional answer on all of stack exchange. I truly feel for you and your son. It's a really tough time. But look, you will get through it. My son's incident today is the first one in over a year. He's not perfect, but vastly improved. I'm sure you can agree that any improvement is welcome. I hope you see some soon!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T11:34:58.577" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T11:34:58.577" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2014-06-21T15:15:21.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your first two points are not valid, in my opinion.&#xA;I am from a family with six kids, my youngest sibling is ten years younger than me, and we're sort of evenly spaced out over these ten years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you don't have to spend alone time with the kids so much: family games,&#xA;trips, etc. do not suffer from being more kids, rather, I enjoy having many siblings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, the other points are definitely valid;&#xA;perhaps it is a good idea to wait a year or two, and then have the discussion again, as people have pointed out, you have plenty of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I grew up in Sweden, so this perhaps makes having a lot of kids &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave#Europe&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;way easier&lt;/a&gt;. Regarding education, I have a phd degree, and my siblings either have bachelors, or are studying at the university/high-school. &#xA;My fathers pay have gradually over the years increased, so the economy has been ok, but I would rather attribute this to good economical choices; we never went on family vacations, no member of the family uses alcohol or tobacco, and we grew up in a small town where house prices are 10% of the big city houses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither me nor my siblings have needed to financially support our family/younger siblings.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3769" LastEditorUserId="3769" LastEditDate="2014-08-03T05:45:50.703" LastActivityDate="2014-08-03T05:45:50.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14163" CreationDate="2014-06-21T15:42:06.977" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say it's far cleaner now than it will be the first night you leave it open to the neighborhood cat. If I were you, I'd add a tablespoon of bleach to a couple of gallons of water, just enough that your wife can smell the &quot;disinfectant&quot; you're going to mix in with the sand, mix it in and forget it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-06-21T15:42:06.977" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-21T21:37:24.767" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he enjoys using the computer and building things, try to get him interested in RPG Maker (or other similar easy to use Game development software, if they prefer other genres).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making video games gives a WIDE variety of skill sets, including writing, programming, critical thinking and planning, at least some degree of artistic mindedness (either by making your own assests, learning to modify existing pieces, or at the least knowing what you need so you can get it from someone else). It also encourages you to read and otherwise expand your horizons to so that you can make better games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And since it also includes a license to sell commercial games made with it, you can even make money off of it eventually and learn business, advertising, managing money etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's one of those simple to learn, difficult to master things, where you can quickly throw together simple games to practice your writing and basic planning stages and as you become more familiar with the engine can do all sorts of interesting things to stand out and attract an audience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And since all game development is basically the same, the core skills learned therein can transfer to other engines (usually the only difference is programming language used and less stuff pre-loaded so it requires a bit more work to set-up your game's framework) (I made the leap to Unity without much difficulty) when/if the limitations of easier but more limited development engines become problematic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A hobby is literally something someone does for enjoyment. You can't make someone pick up a hobby. It's fine throw stuff around to see if anything sticks, but if there isn't much interest with something, don't force the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just judging from the post, I'm of a similar temperament (though I wasn't officially diagnosed with AASD till 11th grade). My hobbies include reading (prefer fantasy, but also some Sci-fi, as well as historical fiction), video games (prefer RPGs, strategy games, simulations, and builder games (like Minecraft/Space engineers), though I also occasionally like to break things up with adventure, puzzle or fighting games), building models (especially Gundam models and Warhammer 40k miniatures), Blacksmithing, and cooking. I'm also a solo game developer (working primarily with Unity now, though I still occasionally dabble in RPG Maker if it's sufficient for my purposes), as well as a writer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I first found RPG Maker around 6th grade (at the time only boot-leg copies were available in my area), and it proved an excellent creative outlet, that I had started making more complex games by the time I reached High School (including a interactive novel based on &quot;How Much Land Does A Man Need?&quot;, by Leo Tolstoy as part of an English 3 book project (it was set-up like a play and followed the book mostly on rails the first play-through, but finishing it unlocked &quot;Improv Mode&quot;, which allowed the player to change the story at certain places that resulted in different endings). I had planned to make a epic rpg (based on a book I was writing) as my senior project, but due to a rule, you couldn't do the same thing as someone in the last 4 years and a guy the year before had done video game development as his project (I ended up doing Japanese Swordsmithing and made a Katana instead).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only have a couple friends who share similar interests that we meet up usually once a month to hang out for a day or two to play video games or watch movies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9234" LastEditorUserId="9234" LastEditDate="2014-06-21T21:43:36.603" LastActivityDate="2014-06-21T21:43:36.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13931" CreationDate="2014-06-21T22:21:49.017" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just like any other subject, the answer isn't one or the other, but both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is learning to play an instrument, there's a place for normal daily practice and a place for band camp. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For sex education, there's definitely a place for ongoing collateral education, but when your child reaches certain points or when it comes up (sex ed at school, someone touched them, they start to use sexualized terms, they enter the sixth grade...), it is important to set aside time to have a longer talk. They probably have questions and/or misconceptions that they aren't bringing up with you at the grocery store or whatever. Sure, it can be a little uncomfortable and embarrassing, but a) the ongoing education should help that, since it's established it's not a taboo topic and b) man up, you're a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastActivityDate="2014-06-21T22:21:49.017" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14101" CreationDate="2014-06-21T22:32:28.923" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always had a huge shelf of books, all the way down to the room's floor. When our first child arrived, we discussed this and decided that, when the child started to be mobile enough to threaten the books, we'd designate one of the &quot;ground floor compartments&quot; of the shelf to the child and even put an old book in there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This worked out pretty well for all my kids. If the child was trying to grab a book, we took it to the designated compartment explain &quot;no, that isn't yours to take, but this here is yours, you can take everything in there&quot;. All my children learned this within about 2 weeks, with the notable exception of one, who took 8 months... Still, as a father of many, in little more than a decade I lost two book covers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same worked for the door in the cupboard behind which the pots etc. were: Designate one side fair game, and if the child is trying to get into the other, take it to the one that's been given to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the lesson behind this is: If such a small child has the urge to tear things apart, provide the means for it to do just this in a way that's OK. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always, repeat the parental mantra: &lt;em&gt;It's just a phase.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-09-14T00:57:11.653" LastActivityDate="2014-09-14T00:57:11.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12917" CreationDate="2014-06-21T22:50:19.047" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;That was my daughter as well - a crybaby in general, and at soccer games crying, malingering, being &quot;injured&quot; on the sideline. FIFA may have approved, but I sure didn't.  (Ha!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mentioned this in an answer to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8537/how-to-respond-to-shame&quot;&gt;How to respond to shame&lt;/a&gt; as well, but I'll unpack it more here. Nothing I tried worked. I tried encouragement, rewards, using other kids as examples, and I'll be honest, sometimes it made me mad and I told her off for doing it. But I tried a variety of strategies and couldn't get her through it with any of them. None of her coaches were of any help, either.  This went on for years. (It wasn't that she disliked soccer, I gave her a choice of things to do and even though she wasn't super jazzed about team sports, it's the one she picked.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually she got into a kung fu class/after school care program in fourth grade, and the master there saw it was a problem and through encouragement and discipline largely got her cured of it. I learned a lot from his technique. He encouraged them and really showed that he cared about the kids, but also was firm and uncompromising about the rules. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt; &quot;Try again.&quot; &quot;But waaaah!&quot; &quot;Ten pushups. Then you can try again after another couple kids go.&quot; All the usual &quot;hug it out&quot; parenting advice may work in some cases, but in this case tougher love was required. Over the course of the year she improved greatly. Sifu was continually giving me reports on it.  &quot;She's a great kid, but she gets discouraged easily,&quot; he said to me a couple weeks after she started - I didn't actually initiate this process, he saw she was overly nancy and told &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; it was a problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is twelve now, and a lot less tentative and more tenacious.  When she is asked to reflect on her kung fu year, even she can see the improvement that he helped her achieve.  (I sometimes bring that time up when we see him or pass by the place, just to bring the lessons to mind and hear her thoughts.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've let that inspire me to be more strict about things like that.  For example, we have the rule of &quot;no quitting.&quot; If you start a season of softball, or a week long class or camp, or whatever, if you decide you don't like it that's fine, and you don't have to sign up next time - but you will stick the season out, no discussion. I believe that's helped her focus on doing better instead of &quot;maybe I shouldn't do this.&quot; I listen to her and all, but I don't tell her things are good if they're not, and I challenge her to do better and to stick with it. Seems to be working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T15:29:18.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14189" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-22T01:36:12.643" Score="13" ViewCount="10428" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has a few toys that are so loud and piercing that they hurt my ears (emergency trucks with sirens, an aeroplane flies around in a circle on an articulated arm, and a toy musical piano). My ears have had almost forty years of abuse, and &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; find them unbearable; I hate to think of the potential for damage to my son's ears. I don't understand how toys can be made and sold with such deafening noise levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know enough about electricalness to know that I could just open up the toy and snip the wire to the speaker. But what if I don't want to mute it? I have considered covering external speaker grills with tape, but my son would probably just remove the tape. Is there something I can I do – discretely, from inside the toy – to an electronic speaker to quieten it without removing the sound entirely?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6294" LastActivityDate="2018-11-23T17:07:11.500" Title="How can I make noisy toys quieter?" Tags="|toys|noise|hearing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14144" CreationDate="2014-06-22T02:24:12.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Limit or eliminate television.&lt;/strong&gt; We banned television on school nights for the entire family when the oldest hit kindergarten, not because TV is bad, but because it takes up too much time. It was far and away the best decision we ever made. It opened up hours for every member of the family to do things together and apart. Books, music lessons, sports, catching bugs in the yard, etc., all were possible. My youngest even took up knitting at seven. Because my kids weren't entertained, they became interested. When we watched television on weekends and vacations, we were selective, and we watched together. We've seen every David Attenborough video (Netflix!) together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my kids are musicians, and both read daily. The oldest is studying wildlife biology at the University of Montana, the youngest plays two sports in high school, plays on the school jazz band as well as our local youth symphony.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One good decision, faithfully executed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T02:24:12.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14189" CreationDate="2014-06-22T03:32:09.557" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, putting some tape over the speaker hasn't caused my son to rip it off if you  use tape with edges that won't peel up. That is a valid concern though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea is maybe push some putty or wax or glue in the speaker grills. Or if you can take it apart enough you could put tape on the inside where he can't remove it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2715" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T03:32:09.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14189" CreationDate="2014-06-22T05:33:25.850" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have shoved cotton balls into speaker grills before. On one toy with an internal speaker (squeaking rabbit) I did have to open the toy to put the cotton balls in, but it was not big deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that you need to compress the cotton in there, so start with a ball of cotton about twice the size of the volume of the speaker cone and shove! Tweezers and thin chopsticks make this easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T05:33:25.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14193" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14196" CreationDate="2014-06-22T08:59:21.850" Score="18" ViewCount="237804" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am planning an hour and a half ride with my 1 month old baby girl. I heard that being in the car seat for a long time is not good for newborns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is an hour and a half too long? Should we do a stop in the middle of the trip?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9235" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-06-22T14:35:54.967" LastActivityDate="2016-11-19T22:43:24.920" Title="How long should my newborn baby be in a car seat" Tags="|newborn|car-seat|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14193" CreationDate="2014-06-22T09:56:21.643" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've done a similar car rides with my daughters at that age several times. I don't remember there ever being any incident, nor damage to the girls. They are now 5 and 7, healthy as can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The infants are in their cribs napping for far longer, in a more &quot;dangerous&quot; position (less spinal support, danger of choking on vomit - not danger in the trauma sense). If the infant burps up in the car seat, clean it to ensure that the airway is clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T09:56:21.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14195" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14197" CreationDate="2014-06-22T10:28:07.017" Score="5" ViewCount="286" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife just came up with a question so basic I have no answer for it: Why is it recommended to mix the typical grain/cereal mash an infant gets to eat with fruit? Basically the first solid food a baby ever eats after about half a year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The typical recipes are always rye + apple, banana etc. Is there a particular reason to mix these things? Is it simply something the baby will typically eat and it's largely harmless? Or are there good reasons to start babies on this because... it gives them a good basis for their development or something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9237" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-11T13:36:35.027" LastActivityDate="2020-01-13T15:23:00.590" Title="Why grain/cereal mash + fruits for infants?" Tags="|infant|babyfood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14193" CreationDate="2014-06-22T12:05:00.463" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;These seats are designed to be newborn-friendly. Any of them causing any physical damage to a child is unthinkable. Such seat should never have been made and accepted for sale. Unless you bought the cheapest seat on a flea market, you're going to be ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long trips are discouraged because your child is restricted to the same position for their duration. If a baby is placed in an unnatural, non-physiological position, it is going to stay in that position for a  certain time. You should make sure the baby is placed in the seat comfortably, that it's back and head are supported, that there are no unnaturally bent legs or hands. If something is wrong, your baby is most likely going to let you know - through crying, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're really worried, make 5 minute stops every half an hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1,5h is not that long time. I've friends who made 4h trips on a weekly basis which started when their son was about (less I think) one month old. Their LO is 2 years now and has no seat-related health problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T12:05:00.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14195" CreationDate="2014-06-22T13:24:48.283" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Much of this likely comes from two places, one linked to a health reason, one linked to convenience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it was thought for a long time that grains were the correct first food to introduce to a child, then vegetables and fruit, then much later meats.  Additionally, breastfed children need a source of iron at around six months.  As such, cereals for infants are typically iron fortified, and at least one serving must be eaten every day to get sufficient iron.  However, these cereals are pretty boring, and early on the child is likely not eating very much anyway - so if you want to introduce fruits, AND give him/her the iron he/she needs, you mix that fruit with some iron fortified cereal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, adding fruits to the cereal makes it sweeter, which makes it more likely the child will eat it.  Just like many adults would prefer oatmeal with strawberries or blueberries, so would a child prefer grains with fruit.  Again, if you're starting with grains, this is a reasonable way to encourage consumption of grains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nowadays, there is no longer a belief that grains should be the first food your child eats, so this may be less important.  They are still reasonably easy first foods, and a reasonably easy way to get the needed iron, but many parents do not start with them any more (as they don't particularly appeal to many kids).  However, there's no particular reason to have grains if your kid doesn't like them; you can get iron drops, or even introduce meat fairly early (very finely purée the meat) as we did with our second child, who hated grains.  Once you have introduced enough foods one at a time to ensure no allergies, you can give your baby complex meals similar to or identical to what you eat at meals (just make sure to reduce sodium and pointless oils).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics has some fairly good suggestions for starting out.  They generally recommend starting with whatever you want and the baby seems to like, so long as enough iron is consumed.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/feeding-nutrition/Pages/Switching-To-Solid-Foods.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This page&lt;/a&gt; does a good job of digesting their recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2020-01-13T15:23:00.590" LastActivityDate="2020-01-13T15:23:00.590" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-06-22T13:27:29.187" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have Asperger's syndrome and I have known quite a few others who also has Asperger's syndrome. I'll share with you what I know about hobbies and social life for me and those others. Keep in mind, this is me sharing my own experiences and my own perspective on things. You can pick what you think applies and forget about the rest. I can't guarantee that any of this makes sense to you and your child but I'm hoping you can use at least use some of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've compiled a short list of hobbies that I and my friends have (or have had). These might not necessarily fit your son but they will probably give you a general idea of what aspies often like (I can only assume the same goes for &quot;pure&quot; autism):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Programming&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Math&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;History&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;War&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Military&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Music/theatre&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fishing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning certain things by heart:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The digits of pi&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All the countries/capitals in the world&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All the states/capitals of USA&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The list goes on and on. As you can see, these are all things you can do alone. Generally, at least for aspies, it's not that we don't like being social, it's just hard. Certain social situations are much harder than others, though. These are things that can make it really difficult:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many people (10+)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;People I don't know&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sitting/being close to others (I love my brother to death and I hug him every time I see him but even that is hard)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Talking to&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;touching&lt;/em&gt; people I don't know&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Girls (they make me nervous because I don't know how to treat them; I don't know how many times I've stepped on their toes when that was never my intention)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small-talk (it bores me and I have a tendency to turn the conversation into something inappropriate or awkward which is even worse than small-talk)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alcohol (I feel pressured to join in on the drinking even though I don't want to)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is one more thing but this one requires a little more explanation. I don't want to feel pressured into being social. I'll be social when the time is right and I'm comfortable. Discomfort follows when someone initiates a conversation with me because that usually means I'm not ready. Also, birthday parties and other such almost obligatory arrangements usually make me feel like I have to be social, and that can ruin the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a setting where I'm always comfortable: When I'm in a &lt;em&gt;place&lt;/em&gt; I know with &lt;em&gt;people&lt;/em&gt; I know and not too many of them where I have the option to talk to people or just be if I don't feel like having an actual conversation, and the people there don't fill the whole room, if that makes sense. Some people, when you're around them you can just simply relax, and others will just drain your energy. I have no actual source for this but I have a feeling the energy draining affects us more than it does others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next on the list: develpment of social skills. I can understand that you don't want your son to left behind but to be brutally honest, he probably will. Social interaction, reading cues, expressing yourself clearly, and behaving appropriately are generally things people like us have to learn the hard way, and genreally this happens when others would probably call &quot;too late&quot;. Until the age of 14 or 15 I had little interest in others, and when school ended (9th grade, 15 or 16 years old), one of the girls in my class encouraged me to spend the next year trying to be social, and that's what I did. In 10th grade I was probably the most popular in my class, and I do have a guess as to why that is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I was smart so I could help the others with math problems&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We all liked computers, and I was better at it than they were&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In my attempt to help my classmates, I would ofte fail miserably trying to explain simple concepts and then turning them into long and complicated explanations that only I could follow. It was like a monkey trying to ride a bike. It was funny. This, in turn, gave me a pretty good idea of what people thought was funny, and I actually learned to be funny.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I tried to be somewhat impulsive&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They liked me and I liked them which made me open up more. At one point my wallet was stolen, and I was afraid someone would steal my computer as well, so I did what any unreasonable person would do: I made a screensaver which looked like the computer rebooted and crashed again and again, and you needed to input a password to close it. Nobody touched my computer after that, and I made special copies to several different people who all thought it was the most brilliant thing ever. One day, one of my classmates had bought one of those dirty magazines, and in this was a link to a website where you could vote on which of twenty girls was more hot or something like that. It was a contest of sorts. He asked me if I could make girl number 19 win, so I made a small program that would cast votes on girl number 19. In that week we probably sent some 30 million votes on that girl (only 5 million people live in my country). Needless to say, she did win, and I was even cooler than before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All I'm saying is, my hobby actually helped me later in life to gain popularity, and my hobby was computers. Another great point to make is that, since I had to learn all the social stuff the hard way, analyzing, studying, interpreting, reading between lines, I became pretty good at it. In certain situations I do better than most people because I can read &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; cues than most people can (a test I once took confirms that). Even expressing emotions non-verbally has become a great tool that I use in everyday conversations, and it really livens up the situations. I've also become pretty darn good at pretending to enjoy some forgettable conversation with a random stranger, and I feel like every time I do that, instead of deceiving people, I'm putting smiles on their faces, and I like that. Even if I won't remeber the conversation, I'm hoping they will. Being social has almost become an art form that I have to understand in order to paint a real picture, and that, I believe, gives me a few advantages that I often see &quot;normal&quot; people lacking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The gist of it all is, autism in any form has it's ups and downs but I'm sure your kid will be fine. When the time comes, even he will want to explore the social world. Maybe putting him together with other kids like him will speed up the process but I'm almost certain it will come automatically, just give him time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a few other things that I want to tell you that I wish my parents knew:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bad grades do not necessarily mean a lack of skills.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be firm, not tough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reason over authority. If he asks why, always have a reason. &quot;Because I said so&quot; is the worst thing you can say to a person with an autism sprectrum disorder. This will relieve your kid of many headaches, I'm sure.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your kid is different, and he feels different, I can assure you. I have yet to meet someone like me who did not feel different. So don't treat your kid like he's different, just affirm that he is and that he's loved.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remember, extrovert people recharge in other's company, and introvert people recharge when they are by themselves. Alone time - even in the company of others - can be a good thing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Social norms and daily/weekly planning, even if it doesn't make sense, is still important. Shower and eat regularly, have a set bedtime, brush your teeth, etc. This seems obvious to everyone else but I have met several people where eating, brushing your teeth and showering just isn't part of their routine so they forget about it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your kid is awesome. All of my friends lie on the autism spectrum because they're just that much more interesting that most other people.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9236" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T13:27:29.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14193" CreationDate="2014-06-22T14:12:56.023" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The major reason not to travel with a newborn (&amp;lt; 3 month old) is not so much the carseat, but the immune system.  A baby under three months old does not have a very well developed immune system, and so traveling to another location (particularly to be around new people) increases the risks that he/she catch an infection which is potentially much more dangerous to a very young baby than it would be over three months of age.  (Yes, location matters - you can catch things from people, OR from the environment, and even if it is a person to person disease, you're more likely to be able to control things in your own home.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you need to travel for whatever reason, one and a half hours should be fine.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/156186/6_tricks_to_road_travel&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This list&lt;/a&gt; is a good list to start from with regards to road travel; you will want to pay attention to #5 and #6 for this short of a trip.  Sun protection is a must, but at &amp;lt; 3 months old you cannot use any sort of sunscreen, so instead you need to have clothing covering as much as possible, and a sunshade on BOTH windows in the rear seat plus the rear window (the far window can still allow in a lot of sun at certain times of day, unless you live in the mountains).  A mirror is also highly recommended so you can check on baby without pulling over (as long as you're able to keep your checks to safe times and durations).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of stops, &lt;a href=&quot;http://health.cvs.com/GetContent.aspx?token=f75979d3-9c7c-4b16-af56-3e122a3f19e3&amp;amp;chunkiid=598939&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; recommends stopping every hour unless the baby is asleep, and trying to keep to his/her regular feeding schedule. I would guess 1.5 hours is still fine for going without a stop, but I wouldn't go much over that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T14:12:56.023" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7686" CreationDate="2014-06-22T21:12:19.043" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like three minutes isn't long enough. Up it to five, and make certain it's dreadfully dull. When it's over, don't hold a grudge. However, if you're anything but consistent, it won't work. Any time, any place the poor behavior occurs, the consequence must occur. You can't make exceptions for time or place or audience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are social creatures, and removing us from each other's company can be the most powerful incentive to choose otherwise, and being welcome back sends the message home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-06-22T21:12:19.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14203" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-23T07:38:45.020" Score="3" ViewCount="199" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are in disagreement over how much cheese our 10 month old should be eating. Which has caused us to try and find a list of how much protein, carbs, sugars, saturated fats etc. she should be eating each day. So far we have been unable to come across such a list. Does anyone know of a good list of this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4229" LastActivityDate="2014-06-24T16:00:04.057" Title="What is the recommended daily allowance of each food group for 10 months olds" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-06-23T14:27:14.603" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a mother of 22 years old child , very nice guy and doing more that great in school but still ignoring me little, learned the method isn't ignoring him back or making his life miserable the right thing to do, or telling him leave house, but showing love and having great conversations about what I feel, expressing I don't need him because have friends and family and work and myself but I miss him and want to spend more time with him. I believe pushing our children, walking naked or using things ( actions) to show him family don't want him or cant take him more is teaching you child when you don't like you wife or own children behave bad and the person will go away noooooooooot good. Love produce love, rejection produce bad relations&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9244" LastActivityDate="2014-06-23T14:27:14.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14203" CreationDate="2014-06-23T16:49:33.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe you will find such a list for a child that young. Babies under one year of age should be getting most of their nutrition from breast milk (or formula if you are formula feeding). Any solid food that they get is really just practice for switching over to solid foods. You should be offering your baby a wide variety of different foods at this point to get her palate used to different tastes and textures. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even once she is a toddler and is getting most of her nutrition from solid food rather than milk you'll need to think about a balanced diet differently than you would for an adult. Some days she may eat a ton of protein, some days she may refuse everything but bananas (for example). That is normal. As long as she is trying a variety of different foods over the course of a week, she'll be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9149" LastActivityDate="2014-06-23T16:49:33.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14207" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-23T18:48:30.943" Score="9" ViewCount="580" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can parents explain to young children that this is not rejection, nor lack of love? It is just that parents sometimes need time off, alone, without being contacted through any means. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9091" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-11T14:39:55.233" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T14:39:55.233" Title="Explaining to young children that a parent needs some &quot;me time&quot;" Tags="|middle-childhood|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2014-06-23T19:23:21.287" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You face a really difficult situation. None of us can solve it for you, but we can perhaps make you some suggestions. Are you familiar with a technique called &lt;strong&gt;Ask Why Five Times&lt;/strong&gt;? You start with a problem, like &quot;my son won't leave&quot; and you ask yourself &quot;why?&quot;. You talk yourself through it and conclude something like &quot;he is afraid&quot; or &quot;he doesn't know how&quot; or &quot;it's nicer here than on his own.&quot; Then, you ask why again. Why is he afraid? or Why doesn't he know how to live alone? or Why is it nicer? Whatever answer you come to from that, you ask why again. Keep going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that you will conclude something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he doesn't know how to handle many tasks of daily life, whether it's cooking, cleaning, preparing for tests at college, shopping,  or hundreds of other things&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he doesn't have a group of friends who live alone who he can learn from, or strive to be like&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you don't ask a lot of him, such as doing chores, or contributing money&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will probably be a sad process for you. You may feel regret. Pushing that regret away by kicking him out is a quick solution, but for long term happiness, face it, keep asking why, and accept the role both parents have played in getting here. He has a lot to learn and he hasn't learned it yet, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, what to do about it? You'll need to tweak this advice a little to match what you learned when you asked why. But start by asking more of him. Every day. Every hour. Constantly. While you're finishing dinner, &quot;can you set the table for us please?&quot; After dinner &quot;can you put your plate in the dishwasher please?&quot; When you see him headed to another floor of the house, &quot;can you take [thing] to where it belongs please?&quot; Constantly. If he says no or ignores you, ignore him. If he does it, thank him. If he does it wrong, show him how to do it right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he asks you to do something, like laundry or a particular food prep, offer to show him how to do it. If he declines, reply something like &quot;ok, I'll do that in an hour or so when I'm finished this.&quot; Don't connect the dots and say &quot;if you do it, you'll get it faster.&quot; He's not a toddler. And do it! Model the behavior you want to see from him, give what you want to get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep asking him to do things (nicely) and offering to teach him things (nicely) and I predict he will gain more skills and at the same time, more motivation to go somewhere where people don't ask him to do things. He may get angry. He may yell at you to leave him alone and stop asking him to do things. You can explain that everyone needs to do these things, including those who live with others. And you can just calmly keep asking more of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage him to broaden his horizons: learn new things, meet new people, try new activities. The more time he spends with people who live independently, the more likely he is to want the same thing. Sitting in the basement smoking pot and playing video games is easy, but not as rewarding as some scarier things. And when he's out with his new friends, he's not stressing up your home life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may take a lot longer than a few weeks. It may even take years. Ideally he would start to make some longer term plans, start thinking about what kind of work he likes and doesn't like, and what it takes to get that work. In the meantime your existence should get more pleasant, because he should be helping at least a little. Maybe even a lot. You might even start to work on a plan for what he will need before he can leave: a particular income level, for example. Knowing that leaving isn't about being kicked out of the nest, but about being able to fly, may make it something that all three of you can happily work towards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-06-23T19:23:21.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14207" CreationDate="2014-06-23T20:32:06.397" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Surely by now you have successfully gone to the bathroom without someone pounding on the door and asking &quot;What are you doing in there?&quot; - your solution to this situation is like that, but on a slightly larger scale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to be &quot;off duty&quot; in the early evening, now that they're staying up later, you can use just that wording. You could decree that after 9pm you won't be getting snacks, reading stories, or anything else non urgent. You'll be in your room reading or working or watching TV. They can be in their rooms or somewhere quiet but they should leave you in peace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to go away for a week or two vacation, and not even be contacted in that time, you will have to work up to it. Perhaps start with an overnight trip. (Your question is unclear about just how much alone time you need and whether both parents need it at once, or by turns.) You can establish what the norms are in your family and how frequently you need to be away from your children, and for how long. Emphasize the positives such as who will be with them instead. You don't need to tell them &quot;I need to be alone&quot; or &quot;I need time off.&quot; Instead use the same tone as you would for a business trip or &quot;family business&quot; such as visiting a sick relative. &quot;We need to go away for four days and X will be staying here with you. We won't be able to talk on the phone as much as usual but I'm looking forward to hearing all about the fun you had when we get back!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people will tell you that you don't actually need alone time, at least not much longer than it takes to use the bathroom. I'm not going to argue with you about it. I went on plenty of trips without my kids, leaving their other parent at home with them. I went on plenty with them, too. I didn't feel the need for time without them myself. That doesn't matter though: this is &lt;strong&gt;your family&lt;/strong&gt;. I will warn you that if you discuss this with your children using words like &quot;rejection&quot; and phrases like &quot;lack of love&quot; you will introduce a germ of an idea to them that probably wasn't there before. If you need to be alone, be alone. Just don't protest too much about why. I doubt you would discuss with them the details of which clients are important enough to need a visit, or why you chose to speak at a particular event, or the details of Aunt Susan's surgery, so take the same approach with your need for alone-ness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-06-23T20:32:06.397" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14189" CreationDate="2014-06-24T12:45:55.263" Score="6" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you have a solding iron and know something about electronics, you can put a resistor in series with the speaker, reducing the output power (part of the power that would be converted in sound will be converted in heat by the resistor)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It there's room inside the toy, you can try to reverse the speaker, so that it's pointing inside the toy and not outside&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;(Philip answer) You can put noise absorbent materials in front of the speaker: cotton, foam, tape...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;(Dotacohen answer) You can put some material to compress the speaker, so that it won't move freely&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can damage the speaker by making some holes / cuts on it, but it won't reduce the noise that much as it will distort the sound&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can damage the speaker by droping some glue over it. This will make the diaphragm heavier and will produce less sound.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2014-06-24T12:45:55.263" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14203" CreationDate="2014-06-24T15:54:28.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A quick search turns up &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=specialneed&amp;amp;dbid=7&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/pub/peds-nutrition/targets-for-initiation/reqstable3.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first site says 570 kcal for 0-6 months and 9.1g protein. For 6-12 months, it recommends 740 kcal and 13.5g protein.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second site says 110 kcal/kg (about 648kcal) for 0-6 months and 2.2 g/kg (about 13.2g) protein. For 6-12 months, that becomes 100 kcal/kg (about 900 kcal) and 1.5 g/kg (about 13.5g) protein.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Protein contains 4kcal/g, as does (digestible) carbohydrate. Fat contains 9 kcal/g. The first site claims that babies under one year should get at least 30g fat each day. We'll assume you're only feeding solids in earnest at 6-12 months. Then here's what you're looking at:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;calories: 740-900&#xA;protein: 13.5g&#xA;fat: 47g~56g&#xA;carbs: 74g~90g&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This assumes the overall macronutrient profile of breastsmilk, which should be about right for babies (since their primary source of calories will be from that or similarly nutritive formula).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To address the dispute: cheese is an excellent source of protein and a good source of fat. This is a great food to feed your baby, provided you pair it with carb-rich fruits &amp;amp; veggies. Go nuts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, as in the other answer, don't worry too much: just give your baby plenty of foods to try. One mark against cheese is that it's a calorie-dense solid food that isn't renowned for being a good source of iron... around 6 months, your baby will start needing more of this, so, nutritionally speaking, you might be better off with other foods (meats, legumes, veggies, etc.) Your baby will be getting plenty of dairy from milk/formula, after all!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7965" LastEditorUserId="7965" LastEditDate="2014-06-24T16:00:04.057" LastActivityDate="2014-06-24T16:00:04.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6460" CreationDate="2014-06-24T19:28:14.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am having a bit of the same issue with my daughter right now.  She is 2 and a half.  I would suggest trying to get your daughter napping a little earlier in the day, so close to supper might make it hard for her to have a good sleep, and she may just be feeling too tired by that point to get the right kind of a nap.  My daughter goes down for a nap right after lunch, this is her routine whether she has lunch at 11:30 or 1:00 it doesn't matter, immediately after it is nap time.  Generally she is quite a good napper.  She used to be great on waking as well.  But, lately, I have been finding her to be quite upset, to the point that I cannot console her.  If I try to hug her, or hold her she pushes me away, if I ask her to return to bed until she is ready to be awake she will scream about it.  Generally I put her back in bed.  I do find that sometimes all she needs is a cup of milk and a small snack.  She finds a cozy spot to curl up and fill her belly and is then ready for bed.  The challenging part is getting her to stop crying prior to bringing her out of her room.  If you are finding that supper time is the only time she will nap, perhaps you could have something little set aside ready when she wakes that she could snack on while you finish preparing supper.  I also find that on days when my little one sleeps a little later in the afternoon she is not ready to go to the table straight from bed, so I try to wait until she is awake to prepare supper and give her some milk with cheese if we are having something with cheese for supper, or some fruit or crackers or sometimes even a slice of bread.  I hope this helps.  Good luck!  Stick with your guns though, you will get through it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9253" LastActivityDate="2014-06-24T19:28:14.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14189" CreationDate="2014-06-25T11:27:57.223" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Batteries have run out, son, and these ones don't let you replace them&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Removes batteries and superglues battery compartment shut...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This and following the guidance in Jeremy Miller's comment have worked wonders for us. Well, until the kids started playing rock guitar, but that's different!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-06-25T11:27:57.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14216" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14221" CreationDate="2014-06-25T16:27:38.047" Score="11" ViewCount="8220" Body="&lt;p&gt;After some reading, I understand that dropping stuff is a natural part of baby's development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I couldn't find after some research, was whether or not I should keep giving the objects that he drops back to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I currently give it back to him 3 or 4 times to make sure he's dropping them deliberately, and then stop giving them back to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I'm talking about when he's in a highchair or other place where he can't reach toys once he's dropped them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4877" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T04:35:18.320" Title="Should I keep giving toys back to my infant when he's deliberately dropping them?" Tags="|infant|behavior|development|parents|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14216" CreationDate="2014-06-25T17:17:19.653" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If that's the game you want to play with your son, great. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if the toys he's dropping morph into bowls of applesauce and spaghetti, you might want to separate playtime from mealtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-06-25T17:17:19.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5202" CreationDate="2014-06-25T17:36:26.310" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to your doctor and get a diagnosis. If might be simple, short and easily fixed. My daughter spent nine months going to speech therapy in kindergarten, and that was it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case that your child has a learning disability that requires speech or language therapy, your local school district must provide it from age 3 through 18 or 21 at no cost to you beyond the taxes you already pay to support your schools. Federal law requires services be provided from birth through age 3, but what agency provides it may vary. Find a friendly special education teacher in your area and ask informally how the system works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-06-26T00:27:07.220" LastActivityDate="2014-06-26T00:27:07.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14219" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14223" CreationDate="2014-06-26T05:26:03.310" Score="2" ViewCount="1704" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know that a prescription for eyeglasses is good for 1 year.  When or how often do you take a teen in for an eye checkup?  I don't want to wait until she is complaining about her eyes getting worse if not appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2018-01-18T13:32:27.053" Title="How often do you take a teenager with glasses in for a vision checkup?" Tags="|teen|glasses|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12917" CreationDate="2014-06-26T09:08:40.053" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way we dealt with it was to validate the feelings and say &quot;It's ok to be cross at missing it, &quot; and then quickly focus back on the task in hand &quot;Now get back out there and have another go&quot; and no more attention. Unless they are actually hurt; we learned to tell the difference between the two forms of crying fairly quickly. In our case, it helped to let ours know that their feelings were valid but that it was important to deal with them smartly. We haven't got it completely right by any means but it's a journey. Sounds like you've tried some good ideas already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing we did was when ours cried and cried during a party and the above failed, we let him to it. Then, after it passed, we made him aware of the fact that he's just missed out on loads of fun because he didn't win. They have slightly more of an awareness of the situation now; for us it was all about actually trying to get them to be aware of stuff outside their own world. My understanding from the therapy world is that kids between 5-7/8 are actually just realizing that there's a world outside them where other people get affected by things too, and that things are still going on around them. The quickest times when our one has had a stress have been the times when we can quickly and with minimal words (otherwise it can become a long process of negative attention) get them to recognise that stuff outside them is happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may not work for you. Lots of children are different and some are crying for different reasons when they fail (fear of parental disappointment,  disappointing friends, not being the best etc) and sometimes as I'm sure you know they don't have the words to express what they are feeling so you may have to help them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-06-26T09:08:40.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14216" CreationDate="2014-06-26T13:10:43.393" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dropping things over and over again is a known phase. It's a great learning opportunity. You can choose what message to send your toddler and what you want to teach. For example, you might take them out of the highchair the minute they drop anything. Generally, parents who adopt this rule come to regret it, because the minute the child wants out of the highchair they just drop something. (We put our cat out any time he scratched the furniture; he started scratching things when he wanted to go out. Sigh.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The particular set of things I wanted to teach our kids were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can control the world around you. One minute you have a toy up here with you, then next minute it's down there. Isn't that cool? Want to repeat the experiment? Great, here's your toy again. (For best effect the toy needs to spend a little time on the floor to let the toddler &quot;soak in&quot; what has happened.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can ask me to do things for you, such as picking up things you dropped, and I will. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can share your joy in discovering things with me, and I will generally join in&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when I say &quot;all done&quot;, we're all done. (Always using the same phrase helps them to learn this, as does physically removing the object they were dropping to somewhere they can't see it.) You may prefer &quot;that's enough&quot; or &quot;game over&quot;, the point is to have a consistent phrase you can use in other circumstances once it has been learned. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;food is not for dropping, dropping food is not fun and I will take your food away if you start using it as a toy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may have a different set of things you want to teach, like &quot;mealtimes are not for playing&quot; or &quot;I am not your servant&quot; or &quot;three times is enough for anything&quot;. That's cool, this is your family, you choose what the lessons are. The mere existence of this phase gives you a wonderful opportunity to set the tone of your family life. And since you are likely to have friends with a different tone, you also get a learning opportunity of your own: how to interact with people who parent differently from you and suggest you follow their conclusions and do what they do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-06-26T13:10:43.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14219" CreationDate="2014-06-26T23:49:22.867" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I cannot give you a &quot;how often&quot; but I can recommend &quot;regular&quot; checkups even if nothing is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently took my 12yo daughter to have her eyes checked even though she seemed to have no problems. It turns out that her right eye is short sighted by her left eye is not. She has been compensating for the bad eye with the good one. Because her shorted sighted eye is not &quot;lazy&quot; she does not need glasses (yet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Australia, you can got to the optometrist once a year for free. Check what your local entitlements are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would similarly recommend having an audiological test done, just to make sure. When many audiological problems are finally diagnosed, the child has lost years of development that they may never make up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-06-26T23:49:22.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14224" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-27T04:48:10.387" Score="3" ViewCount="181" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 years 8 months old. He finds it difficult to get along with friends in his school or in our neighborhood. I have observed that he becomes angry with small mistake of his friends and part from them during play. Another fact is that when he sees his friends and deep into play, he loses control and does things which are annoying to them. I always receive complaints from his friends that he is annoying. Many times no one wants to play with him for such behaviour. This gives him even more low in confidence to make new friends.&#xA;Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9264" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2014-08-12T11:31:08.987" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T11:56:20.077" Title="Get along with other kids" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14225" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-27T05:30:25.577" Score="1" ViewCount="6699" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 4 kids, (12,7,5) are boys and an almost 3yr old girl. The oldest two were completely potty trained around 3yrs old. My biggest problem right now is my almost 5yr old son who still to this day won't poop in the toilet. I have tried candy, stickers, everything. I have tried underwear, and there's always poop in it. He is still wearing pull ups. He will 'hide' in his room, then come out smelling really bad. I would love to put him in kindergarten in the fall...I just can't do it with him pooping in his pants. Half the time when I ask him 'do you have poop in your pull up' he says 'no' and I check him and he's dirty. Please any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9265" LastActivityDate="2014-06-27T14:22:16.847" Title="My almost 5yr old son won't poop in toilet..about to start school" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-06-27T20:21:22.490" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12518" CreationDate="2014-06-27T09:04:57.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Different children need a different amount of sleep, and this level do change over time. It may be that 11 1/2 hours of sleep is simply more than he needs now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/sleep-children?page=3&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Web MD&lt;/a&gt; reports that kids in that range typically need 10 to 12 hours of sleep - but that's &quot;typical&quot; and your child may need more or less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, my 18-month-old only sleeps about 11 hours a day, ten at night plus a nap, and my almost-four-year-old is about the same, minus the nap. Boring grownup tasks are a challenge!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3034" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-06-27T14:49:08.297" LastActivityDate="2014-06-27T14:49:08.297" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12805" CreationDate="2014-06-27T09:06:48.120" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's an interesting question and one we discuss often in our home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids and I have just returned home from our longest walk here in Sydney so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been walking with the kids since they were born (actually right through both pregnancies) and before they could walk - on my back for probably thousands of kms. Now when given the option, they choose bushwalking over pretty much anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have said, we make walking interesting, lots of breaks, lots of fluids and we try to keep out of direct sun and maintain some early exits if needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result, our kids are enthusiastically involved in the 'real' world and love to identify dozens of creatures - from bull ants to &quot;frogpoles&quot; to all manner of bird calls etc. We really are spoiled here in Sydney.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today we walked a total of 16km, 14 of which was in bushland on gorgeous tracks. The terrain was moderate with some reasonably long hills and a few steeper inclines. The kids did it quite easily and cheerfully and on our way home wouldn't let me pass a play area without them running for the swings. No sign of fatigue in our eldest and a few minor complaints from the youngest right at the end (who asked if she could ride her bike when we got home!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 2 1/4 and son is 4 1/4. No doubt many would consider this outrageous but our two been walking happily since about 9mths and being red-heads, have been quite independent and insistent on doing it themselves. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have researched the possible issues and monitor our kids all the time. We are not afraid to push them a little beyond their own comfort zones (they are hardy and resilient) and they respond with incredible effort and wonder at what they can achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us, it's a great opportunity to talk about all manner of things and walking distances with the kids is also a lovely 'microcosm' of life - where we discuss longer term goals, understanding that there may be some fatigue and desire to give up but the reward for sustained effort is the rush of achievement and the knowledge that we've done what we set out to do. On reaching our goal today, our little girl raised her hands in triumph and exclaimed (to a handful of amused passers by) - &quot;I nailed this one Daddy!!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps everyone else knows something that we don't - but for us so far, we see our children as possessing unlimited capacities which are available to them with our patience, care and love and so far, we've all been rewarded in spades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So to directly answer the question from our perspective - we would say that it's totally dependent on the child and their health/fitness and genetics/profile/history. I would suggest however that there's no doubt that most kids would have the capacity per se. All being well, by 6 our kids will likely be able to do incredible distances, but they will have had 5 years of building up to that with mummy and daddy as walking role models.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe worth a note here - we have chosen not to have TV or electronic devices in our children's lives at all (yet). [Ducks and runs for cover...].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cheers,&#xA;David&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9266" LastActivityDate="2014-06-27T09:06:48.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14228" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-27T10:08:00.887" Score="3" ViewCount="250" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 years of age. When he started school he was quite calm at the beginning. But after summer holidays he has become very restless. He has become aggressive and is not listening to his teachers. He is running around untie corridors, throwing things around, tearing books, pushing other kids, not doing his school work, distracting the class, etc. I can't figure out what to do. How can I deal with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9267" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-06-27T11:10:49.920" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T18:58:20.737" Title="5 year old child causing problems at school" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10712" CreationDate="2014-06-27T11:57:24.103" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/10713/2513&quot;&gt;This other answer by zdenekca&lt;/a&gt; has covered most of the things. I would like to add couple of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess it's time to tell your son few things about private body parts. I would definitely tell him that the private body parts should not be exposed or allow to touch anybody other than very close person, like yourself (mom) and that too only when it's needed e.g. shower, potty etc. You have to tell it as nicely as possible without scarring him that it is a sin, but tell him that it is considered very bad manners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the actions you have wrote, I strongly believe he is a child abuse victim which himself is not aware of. You should be nice to him and try to extract information from him to find the culprit by asking something like &quot;did anyone ask you to show/touch yours/his/her private parts?&quot; or &quot;did you see anyone showing their private parts?&quot;. Before this make sure you explain to him about private parts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3301" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T06:35:21.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14225" CreationDate="2014-06-27T14:15:20.420" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may be a duplicate question but this seems like a time-sensitive matter (and the OP has tried some suggestions at the link) so I'll give this a shot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was 4 and we intended to put him into preschool, but he would not poop on the toilet, whereas peeing was fine. He was afraid that it would hurt because a person I shall not name would put him on the toilet when he was younger and having constipation, which is something one should never do, so he associated the toilet with agony.Then I decided to show him some toilet training videos for kids on youtube and a few were nice, then one starts off well and then the person explodes, what a funny joke to play on a parent and child - ha. ha. ha. (I was an idiot for going to youtube for this, obviously). So he was even more afraid! I will accept my parent of the year award now, please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I finally did, after trying much other positive reinforcement, worked in just a day or two. This may not be an option around two older boys and a 3yo girl, but you may be able to work it out if some kids go off to summer camp, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent with only one child, we were fine with him not wearing anything other than a shirt for this short period of time while inside the privacy of our house. I think ethically this was fine since he was used to either of us changing him all the time and clearly didn't care. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I made sure he had nothing to go in, no pullup or underwear, nothing. He either had to choose the toilet or the floor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He held it in a while (you should take steps to make sure his stool will be soft during this process, I can't remember what I did exactly it being 5 years ago), and then went and found a diaper that had fallen behind the changing table in his room and put it on and went. So I made sure there were no more diapers hidden anywhere (you'll need to hide all pullups and underwear, pants, etc). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So he held it in a while again, and then finally was pacing around and had to make a choice between the floor and the toilet. He finally ran to the toilet and the situation never came up again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told my sister this, and her current 4yo boy chose the floor (he had gone and hid in another room). So... that is the risk you take if you decide to try this. Remember, though, he may hold it in a while so you will want to make sure that his stool will be soft or you may just end up making the situation worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always feel paranoid giving my first answer on a site so if something in here is terrible parenting advice I'll be happy to delete the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9268" LastEditorUserId="9268" LastEditDate="2014-06-27T14:22:16.847" LastActivityDate="2014-06-27T14:22:16.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12518" CreationDate="2014-06-27T19:42:16.737" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Not Tired&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be that he is simply not tired. &#xA;A later bed time might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;19:30 seems very early to me, especially given he sleeps past 7. (our toddler, a little younger, sleeps much less even if still takes naps during the day).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Trying to grab control&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kid is very strong willed, and we have found a lot less bed time drama if he gets some decision power. Do you want to have your story before or after teeth brushing? which Pajama do you want to wear? It means the routine is not always routine, but he really is much more pleasant when he doesn't feel out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also actually let him choose where to sleep, his own bed, our bed (YMMW on whether you want to allow this) or the floor (yes, he wants to sleep on the floor, and will sleep on the floor...). He does not always choose the same place. Just as long as it is behind a closed door in a 'sleeping place'. If you have guest bed, maybe that would work for you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stays up to 'take part in fun stuff'&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it may not be an issue that he doesn't quiet down until he is in his bed/sleeping space.&#xA;We also allow out kid to take a toy to bed sometimes, if he is particular contrary. He just has to STAY in his room quietly. &#xA;I would advice against electronics in bed - tried that once, when adults were very, very busy. Not a success. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might not help him fall asleep, but may help you to get the adult time you need. It may also help reinforce that even if he can't sleep, by bedtime he needs to be in room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-06-27T19:42:16.737" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14232" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-27T20:48:08.247" Score="5" ViewCount="1341" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have a 3 yr old daughter and a 2 week old daughter. Unfortunately, before the baby came my wife and i failed at potty training the 3 yr old as well as detaching her from her binky (mostly used at nights and nap time). She now has zero interest in the toilet and refuses to give up the binky. Now that she sees the baby in diapers and with a binky, it seems nearly impossible to do anything about this. suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9270" LastActivityDate="2018-10-26T12:09:47.327" Title="3 year old, potty training and binky separation anxiety" Tags="|potty-training|pacifier|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14232" CreationDate="2014-06-27T23:07:25.630" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds perfectly normal! You might wait a few months before trying again, giving your daughter time to adjust to all the change she is experiencing. Give her time to grow into her role as big sister before you start toilet training again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you start again, don't try to do toilet training and binky separation at the same time. A binky, like thumb-sucking, is what a child uses to self-calm. Toilet training is stressful, and your daughter will need this valuable tool to help her through it. Binky transitioning can be accomplished later and over a longer period of time as she learns other ways to calm herself. Typically, supports like a binky are phased out over time, and it is not unusual for a child to need this at night into elementary school (I know adults who still have these special vestiges of childhood!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-27T23:07:25.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1630" CreationDate="2014-06-28T01:50:02.690" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work at a hotel and we have the option of charging for things like rollaways and pack and plays. I feel that it is EXTREMELY unethical and very discriminatory to charge extra for having an infant. I suggest not staying at hotels of that caliber. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9272" LastActivityDate="2014-06-28T01:50:02.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14237" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-28T16:17:29.850" Score="5" ViewCount="17933" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old son is very reluctant at playing with other kids and rarely even tries or shows any interest in other kids. He goes to the playschool for about a month now but it seems he still shows no interest in other kids. I want to understand if this is normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that worries me is that he has yet to develop speech. He has vocabulary of 50 words and understands almost everything but he does not show any interest in following what we speak or try to learn new words. Any advice would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9277" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-26T12:54:50.477" LastActivityDate="2019-07-08T17:16:33.137" Title="Is it normal for a 2-year-old boy to show no interest in social interaction and talking?" Tags="|toddler|social-development|speech|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14237" CreationDate="2014-06-28T18:36:22.307" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;That all sounds very normal. Children this age play side-by-side more than they play with each other. And language develops at different rates for different kids. Between 2 and 3, vocabulary usually grows to about 200 words. 50 is a good start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For further reading:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/pages/speechandlanguage.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Speech and Language Developmental Milestones&lt;/a&gt; (Department of Health and Human Services)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-06-28T18:36:22.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14237" CreationDate="2014-06-29T17:18:19.277" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little guy is about to turn 2 and is much the same way. He's generally content to do his own thing, even at the park with lots of other kids around. He seems happy and does interact when he feels like it, so we aren't too worried about his apparent introversion at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for speech, he loves talking and mimicking. But my youngest brother was 3 before he really got on the speech train, and didn't speak clearly until he was around 6. Kids just develop at different rates; it sounds like your son is still within the range of &quot;normal.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7828" LastActivityDate="2014-06-29T17:18:19.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1630" CreationDate="2014-06-29T19:20:15.597" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to declare the child so that it is &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;i: covered by insurance in the case of catastrophe&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ii: known about by fire responders in the case of fire emergency&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-06-29T19:20:15.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14237" CreationDate="2014-06-30T03:56:42.300" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's consistent with my experience as well.  If you're comparing him to the kids at preschool/daycare, if he's only been there a month he's going to have a hard time fitting in right away - that's normal.  Nonetheless, my son was at daycare since 6 weeks old and still didn't play with others much at two.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two year olds - and even many three year olds - primarily do what's called &quot;parallel play&quot; when they do play together, which means they both play cars in the same location, occasionally interacting, but primarily ignoring the other child except when necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do to encourage your son to interact more is to show him how to do so.  Play with him as if you were another two year old.  Give him tips for how others can be included.  For example, my son today (35 months old) was playing in a play area and had some boxes of 'food' he was pretending to ring up at a grocery store.  A four-or-so year old came by, and started to pick up boxes also.  I suggested my son go behind the 'register' and pretend to be a worker.  He did so and had fun (for a little while).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of what play at that age is, is learning these kinds of things.  You can let it develop naturally, or you can give a few pointers to help him out - both are fine.  Give him opportunities and he'll figure things out when he needs to.  As he gets closer to 3, he'll start playing more with others, and probably around 3 he'll start asking to play with kids at home (though that exact time varies, from my experience).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as vocabulary, fifty words sounds reasonable.  At two there's still a huge variety of vocabulary levels; my oldest probably had around 50 words at two, and I worried he was a bit behind, but by 30 months he was talking up a storm and by 35 months he's composing detailed stories.  I know a two year old who has no language almost at all - maybe ten words.  I also know two year olds who were fully vocal.  It seems to vary highly at that age, but by three mostly settles out (though we have a few people on the site who are speech experts, I believe, so they can tell you more accurately).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's a first child, and especially a mostly alone first child (not at daycare until recently?) then he's going to be less vocal.  First children are usually behind second/later children because they don't have older siblings to talk to them, and if he wasn't often with other children he'll be limited as well.  None of these things are problems - the mental development is still occurring, it's mostly just the lack of opportunities for seeing and hearing others talk.  Adults are further away (harder to see the mouth movements), tend to talk faster than other similar age kids, and don't talk to them nearly as often as other maybe slightly older kids might, so they don't get as much a chance to learn (or don't need to talk as much - adults are good at anticipating needs, other kids not so much).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T03:56:42.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4569" CreationDate="2014-06-30T04:10:55.030" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We didn't use harnesses for our kids, despite both of ours being of the sort mentioned above - running all over the place, very active, not tending to stay in one place for long.  (I guess that's just &quot;kids&quot;, but ours felt more active than others I've seen.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't avoid them out of concern for social issues (meh, I don't fit in and neither does my wife, and we don't care much).  We chose not to use harnesses because of two reasons, somewhat interrelated:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We believe in independent children who are raised to make good decisions for themselves&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We want to teach our children not to do dangerous things (run in traffic, take off at the mall or crowded areas, etc.), because we won't necessarily always have the harness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach was simply to make sure we focused on teaching from around 15-18 months what to do in these situations.  I walk with my children (15 and 35 months) to the park on a nearly nightly basis before or after dinner, about 2 blocks.  I use this as a great teaching tool: they have to follow all of the rules (hold hands for crossing street, stay on sidewalk inside me (away from the street from me), not run too far ahead); and I don't have to worry too much if they misbehave a little, because it's entirely residential, slow and quiet streets that rarely have traffic and if there is a car, I can be extra cautious - so if they don't follow the rules perfectly (like walking into the street unescorted), the consequences aren't dire and I have a buffer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result, my 35 month old behaves perfectly on the sidewalk - stopping at every street or alley, even insisting I hold his hand if I forget.  Even if he's having a &quot;wild day&quot;, that doesn't mean he runs onto the street; he is sufficiently wild on the sidewalk.  My 15 month old is learning, but since we're doing it now - when he's too slow to get in any real trouble - I'm confident he'll get there also, without serious danger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I certainly wouldn't judge anyone who felt a harness was the safest way to handle their children, any more than I judge parents who hover near their children at the playground or limit their activities out of fear of getting hurt.  I don't judge them and I don't want them to judge me for being too accepting of risk with my kids.  I don't agree with those choices, personally, but it's just that: a personal choice of how best to raise children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T04:10:55.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14244" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14263" CreationDate="2014-06-30T07:43:28.007" Score="2" ViewCount="2586" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old son seems to be bothered by distressing thoughts.  This started about 2 months ago with a “scary book” that he saw at school.  Apparently two older kids brought in a book which he found upsetting.  After discussing the book with him it sounds like a goosebumps book or something similar.  He said the front cover had a picture of a hand surrounded by fire and inside there were illustrations of ‘scary aliens and monsters’&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This caused what he describes as “his nightmares” - basically at various times throughout the day he will remember something from the book and get very upset.  When it happens he will get a far away terrified look in his eyes, like he is about to cry and say “I’m having my nightmare again”.  At night he will sometimes be afraid of going to sleep and during the day these thoughts will interrupt what he is doing.  Even though he calls the episodes ‘his nightmares’ he doesn't seem to be disturbed by actual bad dreams while sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When this started happening we spoke to him about it and explained that the book was fiction, what was shown in it wasn't real, etc.  We expected it to all blow over in a week or two, but months later its still happening.  We have spoken to the teachers to try and find out what the book was, but because the incident happened so long ago there is not much they can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently he also seems to be having other out of character behaviour.  We are not sure if this is related to ‘his nightmares’ or both the nightmares and other behaviour are caused by some other underlying cause.  We are also not sure how serious all this is - perhaps its just a normal phase he is going through and he will grow out of it in another month or two, or perhaps its something we should be looking at professional help for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7785" LastActivityDate="2014-07-03T13:25:39.997" Title="6 Year old troubled by waking nightmares and bad memories" Tags="|behavior|health|development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14244" CreationDate="2014-06-30T09:59:31.417" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should talk to kids like kids. bringing a logic of &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;that is a fiction&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;works for older kids around 10 to 13 years old. make him believe in a hero or higher power that saves and protects him [like himself, when he enters the room call his name heroically! ] and you should make him fight that fear not ignoring it and leaving it behind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9281" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T09:59:31.417" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14237" CreationDate="2014-06-30T13:10:12.957" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a totally normal behavior. Forcing the child to speak now will not do much good. Soon your child will find friends with whom it would be more exciting to talk and play, and the issue will be resolved on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9282" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T13:10:12.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4569" CreationDate="2014-06-30T16:59:58.863" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a very spirited 3.5 year old, and we have never used a harness on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe in raising independent kids, and teaching them how to act in traffic - but that doesn't I don't understand the idea of putting a safety leash on! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did do however, is to require that he holds hands when crossing the street, and when waiting on the crosswalk sign. We have also gently held on to his clothing at a heavy intersection when he was a little younger (so he didn't run off). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we are in a very busy place (like a park/fairground/mall) when he was younger we would sometimes use the stroller to make sure he stayed with us, but he loves to walk. We generally do let him roam a bit, but ask that he holds hands when there are lots of people. We usually also write our phone no on his arm with a sharpie when going to a crowded place, and ask him to tell people 'Please call my daddy' and show them the number if he gets lost. He &lt;strong&gt;hasn't&lt;/strong&gt; gotten lost yet though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my mind the advantages of a hardness is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Peace of mind. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No risk of the child getting lost&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantages of not using one are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Incentive to learn independence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Empowers the child &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourages you, as a parent to trust your child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourages the parent to teach your child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Makes it easier to trust them as they roam on their own&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lets the run faster and more than you can. (Our son has a LOT more energy than me)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourages physical activity since you are not limiting him (think walking on raised walls, jumping up and down, racing around in a park)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Less worry if you are in situation where you don't have the harness, since you don't rely on it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T16:59:58.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14244" CreationDate="2014-06-30T18:36:58.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;At a young age children are better equipped to fix problems through revisionist story telling. Have him talk about seeing the scary book and laughing at it. Or that the pictures weren't scary, but silly. Change his reaction to it rather than trying to have him reason it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a technique used with adults to 'rewrite' painful memories. You adjust the story and tell it enough times, even you begin to believe it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1607" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T18:36:58.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2014-06-30T18:44:36.237" Score="38" Body="&lt;p&gt;While you asked about pro/con of more children, I am going to take a step back and puzzle something out of the arguments you presented. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that your arguments are either very logical (bigger house, more money) or a little constructed (as someone pointed out - age gap and time to kids doesn't really work like that).&#xA;A side note: One thing you have not pointed out is that doctors recommends 2 years at least between kids to give the woman's body time to recover. While you are very young, your wife has been through 3 pregnancies already, and you may gently want to point out to her that waiting a bit might be good for her health. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife's main arguments are more emotional: She feels she is missing something, and she wants a big family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there are 2 issues here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How big a family do you want?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;not right now, but eventually. Do you never want any more kids? Do you want to wait? How big is big for her? For me 3 children is a big family, for some people it is 6 or more! &#xA;You should discuss this in general, if you can, besides any discussion on when and how. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You wife is missing &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is the MOST important thing you said in your question. Something is making your wife unhappy, and she is trying to change that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a woman, when you have a baby, a lot of hormones gets changed around. Sometimes it results in post-partum depression. Sometimes holding your new baby gives you an intense feeling of joy and happiness. Maybe your wife is missing that? Maybe she was less happy with the 3rd that the first 2, and wants to 'fix' it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may also be that after having 3 kids so young, she defines herself as a mother, more than anything else and is worried about what to do as your older kids gain independence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she is afraid of going back to work? Maybe she has doubts about her worth except having kids (this is common! And in our culture there is an emphasis on women with children FIRST being moms, then something else, whereas men with children FIRST are something else (teacher, engineer) then dads).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be something else completely, but it sounds to me that having another kid is what she sees as a solution - but neither her nor you know what the actual problem is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try to address that (maybe with help of a therapist, if it comes to that) before going to a solution. Be careful not to come off as patronizing, or superior when doing this, and maybe you shouldn't even mention it in connection with the possible family expansion. It is about hers (and yours too) happiness in broader sense of things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T18:44:36.237" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14170" CreationDate="2014-06-30T22:25:24.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually feel there are a couple of more options you could consider, along with the ones presented, as well as some  pros/cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Travel with husband and baby&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allows you to do what usually do, just with the baby. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lets you stay close to the baby without missing conferences (You will probably be emotionally attached)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Safety &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Since you on a conference, you may still need to pump even with the baby with you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;long travel time is hard with a baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Given the baby's sleep/feeding it may not be possible doing anything other than conference &amp;amp; hotel anyway. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cost (usually lap infants costs 10% of ticket price on flights, but for 20 hours you may want to get seat. In addition you may want to rent roll-away cribs etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Leave baby with caregivers&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baby will have time to bond with grandparents and vice versa&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gives you the freedom to be just with your husband&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You will be able to keep up with work conferences&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Missing the baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How will the baby be fed? Do you plan on pumping? Pumping at the conference is not fun. It is not talked about that much, but the baby is on a clock and so are you. It is a biological need, like needing to pee. You can wait, but only for so long. You have to have a good stock up front, not possible for everyone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The grandparents might not be able to take care of a baby full time. Getting up in the middle of the night to feed/hold is hard work. I don't know what age they are, but for my own parents, who are now 70, I would not think they even COULD take care of an infant full time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Logistics of getting baby to grandparents, making sure they have all equipment needed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Different parenting styles (how/when do you soothe baby?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Things have changed since the grandparents were parents, like the recommendations for how babies should sleep and many other things. How to get all that information to grandparents that you get from pediatricians and more?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Travel without baby and husband&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would add this option. If the conferences are important to your career, and they are more than just an opportunity for a holiday this would be a solution. Even if you are the primary caregiver, your husband will be too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You get to go to conferences without worrying about the baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your husband gets bonding time with the baby. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The baby is taken of by a parent, in your home. Much less worry. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your husband may have to take time off. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feeding the baby may still be an issue. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You will still miss the baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You might also miss your husband on top of it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Not going for some time&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the conferences are not that important to your career, you could not go for a little while. I personally have not felt comfortable leaving my to babies for more than 12 hours when they are less than a year old. This is very personal (and different feelings about this are not more right and wrong - we are different). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is the easiest! No worries!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You don't get to go to your conferences, possibly impacting your career. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You don't get alone time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Travelling with caregivers&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring grandparents, or a nanny along!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you are still around your baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you and your husband have time to yourself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pumping at conference still applies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cost!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;caregivers intruding on vacation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this being said, I have an acquaintance in academia, and she has been travelling to conferences far and wide with her daughter, who is now 4.5. I think she has flown more than 100k miles. She keeps a personal &lt;a href=&quot;http://flybabybook.blogspot.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;blog&lt;/a&gt;, partly about flying with her kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-06-30T22:25:24.093" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14253" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14256" CreationDate="2014-07-01T06:51:59.550" Score="2" ViewCount="437" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there any benefit of pushing your child to go to school each and every day, except only in some unavoidable circumstances?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9286" LastActivityDate="2014-07-01T19:28:04.070" Title="Is there any benefit of pushing your child to go to school each and every day?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ClosedDate="2014-07-03T14:05:38.060" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14253" CreationDate="2014-07-01T14:35:41.297" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say yes it is important because it establishes a routine that most people will have to follow for the rest of their life. But I would insert some caveats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1)If the the child doesn't want to go to school because they are being bullied. This situation needs to be resolved ASAP and depending on the severity of the bullying you may want to keep your child out of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2)Lack of intellectual stimulation, If the child is just not being challenged enough the school is failing to provide for their needs. It might not be worth keeping the child out of school for this but it is worth speaking to the principle and getting it resolved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2014-07-01T14:35:41.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14253" CreationDate="2014-07-01T15:10:44.613" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel bullets will work best here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Yes&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Establishment of routine&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting an education&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Socializing with same-aged peers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discovering social boundaries (romantic relationships, topics of discussion, trends)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discovering more of the world (geography or social studies courses)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning respect and tact (dealing with teachers)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning disrespect and indiscretion (and the consequences associated)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning to play by the rules (following is sometimes easier)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning to bend the rules (when necessary)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;MATH! SCIENCE! (These are extremely important in our global society today)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(Depending upon the school) dressing for success&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gives the parent time to either work at a job or at the home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allows the parent to have peace of mind that their child is getting a good education which will later benefit them and the family (if need be)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It might be mandatory. Some states/countries require that a child go to school for a certain amount of time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;No&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Devil's advocate time&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Schools often teach the &quot;get a job&quot; mentality, as in, grow up, go to school, get good grades, get a good job, get secure, and retire at 65. If you can escape this and actually have teachers who teach, unbiased to their pupils future endeavors, then their is no reason they shouldn't go&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child's career path is already chosen for them, i.e. they're going to be a farmer whether they like it or not. An education will definitely help them in terms of math, for calculating acreage for crop growth or proper amounts of seed to cover an area, and science, for understanding how living organisms work, especially plants. It will help, but it's not necessary.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Everything else is an unusual circumstance as you mentioned already. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-07-01T15:10:44.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14253" CreationDate="2014-07-01T18:01:12.317" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some children have serious, correct reasons to avoid school.  Perhaps a teacher (or other member of staff, or pupil) is abusing them; perhaps there is bullying; perhaps the child has a school phobia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have established that none of those are happening the answer becomes clearer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to keep a child going to school because it might be reauired where you are; the child doesn't miss any work; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But also this is a chance to teach the child techniques to build resiliance.  People have to do things they do not like and it's useful to have techniques to cope with these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus you can talk to a child to find out why they don't want to go, and then use techniques from cognitive behaviour therapy to help them overcome those reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-07-01T18:01:12.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14253" CreationDate="2014-07-01T19:28:04.070" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.johnholtgws.com/unschooling-research-and-support/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;research&lt;/a&gt; out there to support child directed learning, what the homeschooling community calls &quot;unschooling.&quot;  To summarize, children who learn at their own pace about topics they are individually excited about and ready to learn, tend to learn in more depth and retain knowledge better.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take my son, for example.  His school teacher had trouble motivating him to write at all.  At home, he will happily write for an hour or more.  The difference is, we let him write about whatever he wants.  That doesn't mean we don't challenge him.  We can introduce advanced vocabulary just as easily when writing about ninjas as when writing random sentences about a topic he doesn't care about.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son learned about Columbus by visiting replicas of his ships.  He learned about atomic energy from a museum in Oakridge, TN.  If these are the kinds of educational opportunities you're providing by occasionally (once every month or two) taking him out of school, I say go for it.  My son has flourished since we started homeschooling him with this philosophy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, schools are not set up to encourage individual pacing, because of the simple logistics of needing to teach an entire class &quot;in bulk.&quot;  Topics are introduced in specific orders, and build on each other, so that missing too much classroom time risks putting your child behind.  That's why they have attendance policies.  Other answers have covered specific benefits of a classroom approach, and I agree wholeheartedly if that's the right approach for your child, but those benefits come with the cost of requiring regular attendance to work well.  You can't have your cake and eat it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-07-01T19:28:04.070" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12628" CreationDate="2014-07-01T20:20:25.883" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you have any great options. I don't know of any convertible (toddler) car seats that easily double as a stroller. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Options, however, may include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trying to start/end your journey somewhere it can be stored, like luggage storage at public train stations. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you have set time away and use a regular company, can they store the seat for you? I know that in the US some limo companies will store a car seat if you for instance are using them to take you to the airport and using them as pickup when you return. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.britax.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Britax&lt;/a&gt; has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.britaxusa.com/store/details/accessories/advocate/car-seat-travel-cart&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;device&lt;/a&gt; that let you cart a convertible seat around, but it is probably not practical for general walks like a stroller. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://diono.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Diono&lt;/a&gt;'s car seats fold 'flat' and you can get shoulder straps, but they weigh a TON. (It also look like they may not be selling their seats in Singapore, so they may not be certified there).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you use another option than taxis? I know that in both US and some countries in Europe car shares are an option - you pay for the use of a car the days you use them. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-01T20:20:25.883" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14244" CreationDate="2014-07-02T23:25:14.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start by acknowledging the fear.  This is a real emotion for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then talk about what is causing the fear.  Discuss the &quot;nightmares&quot; and talk about what is happening to him during those events.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then ask the child to come up with strategies to help themself during those times of distress and suggest some techniques - look at a window and remember that you are in the real world, and not in that mean story world; or imagine that you are the hero in the story world and can defeat the baddies - and then talk about the people who drew the pictures, perhaps drawing some yourself but you add silly funny features.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-07-02T23:25:14.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4307" CreationDate="2014-07-03T06:27:41.230" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would put it in a sealed bag, and then put it in a plastic box and seal the edges with masking tape. making sure the entire box was filled with other plastic materials, so that no air was there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9294" LastActivityDate="2014-07-03T06:27:41.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14244" CreationDate="2014-07-03T13:20:30.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What your kid has seen was obviously a traumatic experience, and I strongly recommend that you seek professional help in your case. Even if you can 'fix' the actual problem, the trauma might otherwise remain hidden for many years, resulting in irrational fears later. There are general steps on how to deal with the situation, but it requires a good recognition of the details and some experience to apply those properly, as every person is different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids at that age are commonly afraid of &quot;monsters under their bed&quot;. While those are actually only fantasies in the mind of a child (probably an old remain of days where kids were to stay inside the cave), your son has actually &quot;seen&quot; those monsters for real, or at least that is what he believes. If your son does not accept that this was just fiction, then the next logical step is to dive into his fantasy and dismantle it from within, while ultimately focusing on the fact that those are no real threats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A possible solution - one of many, as an example - would be to remove the fear, give him something strong to hold on and to give him the feeling of safety, and then, once the trauma is over, explain that all this was just in his mind and never really existed. But again: unless you are psychological experts or feel 100% confident that you can do this on your own, I suggest to get some help on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A first step for this would be to address the obvious feelings he currently has. He most likely feels vulnerable and unprotected, something that you as the parents can counter by giving him the feeling of protection and love. This goes from cuddling to letting him sleep with you in your bed for a few days, until he accepts that he is not alone in this, but that you, as his parents, stand beside him and fend off anything that might want to harm him. While this step won't solve the general problem, it will solve the attendant symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next step would be to create something for him to believe in, something that he &quot;knows&quot; will keep the monsters away. This can be any item that your son would believe in having the power to repel any monster, maybe a teddy-bear, a dream-catcher or something exotic, you might even pretend to cast a spell if that is within your acceptable range of belief. It is mostly a question of how you present it, but the important thing is that your son actually believes in the power of said item to keep him safe. You might want to copy some situations from children's stories to make it feel real to him. The general idea behind this is to generate a safe-guard, where he can examine what he fears while feeling completely protected from any harm. So he can begin to process the trauma and transforms it from an irrational fear to something rational that can be dealt with with words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The final step is then, once the thing is over and he no longer feels in danger (when the trauma is over), to explain that it wasn't the item that kept things away, but that it was himself who kept them away by believing in his strength. The last step is important, as it transfers the confidence in the item into himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastEditorUserId="6997" LastEditDate="2014-07-03T13:25:39.997" LastActivityDate="2014-07-03T13:25:39.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14265" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14266" CreationDate="2014-07-03T16:41:58.817" Score="10" ViewCount="7366" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nephew (Alex) is turning 4 in one week, and his little brother (Ben) is 10 months old. When Ben was born, Alex loved him to death and would do anything to help us with him, bringing him toys and binkies and blankets and stuff.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But now that Ben has learned how to crawl and can get around better, he (of course) loves to play with his older brother's toys. However, when Ben gets ahold of any toy, Alex comes storming over and yanks it out of his hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are trying to teach Alex that it is not nice to steal toys from Ben, since he is little and doesn't understand. We also want to help Alex understand that if he doesn't want Ben to play with his toys, he should not leave them where Ben can reach them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However it has moved on from just not sharing his own toys. Whenever Ben does anything, Alex has to try to stop him or take things away from him. Even if Ben is playing with a baby toy that Alex hates, just the fact that Ben has it makes Alex want to take it back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't really understand his behavior and how to correct it. We have considered jealousy issues and try not to force Alex to share his toys and give Alex plenty of special time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else experienced this? Do you have any tips on how to get them to play nicely together?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4652" LastEditorUserId="4229" LastEditDate="2014-07-06T12:33:11.170" LastActivityDate="2018-12-02T18:39:40.767" Title="4 year old steals toys from baby brother" Tags="|infant|pre-schooler|siblings|jealousy|sharing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14265" CreationDate="2014-07-03T17:22:04.560" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion this is very common behavior. He probably wants to both be part of what B does, and maybe to retaliate. Our 3 year old does this quite common to his little brother, 13 months old. He still love his little brother, I and I bet A loves B a lot still. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does A share well with kids his own age? At 4, he is probably used to having some 'discussion' - I want this toy, you can't have it, etc. A baby can't do this, so my take is that he takes that as implicit consent. Crying is not the same as someone saying no. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I suggest, is to &lt;strong&gt;keep correcting&lt;/strong&gt;. Every time he does it, tell him he can't take his baby brother's toy. If he wants to play with it, he has to find another toy, give it to the baby and see if he want to trade. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest asking him why he wants a specific toy. Does he not want his brother to play with it, or does he want to play with his brother? Our oldest has a hard time understanding they can't play together. Try to find something they can do together - rolling balls is a great activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally think it is an age thing, and you just have to keep explaining the proper behavior. Toddlers brains are so immature, and they have a really hard time understanding other people have feelings and desire. Especially a baby, who have no real verbal way of expressing himself - and I know from our son that he has been taught so often that you &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to use your words - so now you have a baby which doesn't, so what are the rules for that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-03T17:22:04.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14232" CreationDate="2014-07-04T04:54:01.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;All the sudden attention the new baby is getting is likely to perturb your 3-year-old, due either to jealousy of the new interloper, or fear of your loss of interest and attention, or a bit of both. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's quite normal for older siblings to regress somewhat when there are stressful changes in their immediate environment, partly because it feels easy and comfortable to them to fall back on familiar older behaviours, and perhaps partly because they believe that behaving more like the new baby will regain them the parental attention they feel they have lost. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend following MJ6's suggestion of weaning her off the binky and diapers both slowly and gradually, and also making it a priority to set aside sufficient &lt;em&gt;undivided&lt;/em&gt; time to spend with your older daughter, so that she can be confident you haven't forgotten her emotional needs simply because you have a new baby in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7324" LastEditorUserId="7324" LastEditDate="2015-02-20T02:24:19.353" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T02:24:19.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14268" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-04T05:28:26.393" Score="2" ViewCount="898" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 20 months old and I have started potty training him. He has been interested in the toilet for a month or two. He will pee and poop whenever I sit him on there, but still won't let me  know when he goes when he isn't on the toilet.  I let him either run naked or put his big boy underwear on, but he stil won't let me know when he's soiled himself. What do I do to help him tell me? He will say &quot;pee pee&quot; after he goes in the toilet so I know he knows he's going...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9300" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-07-04T06:28:15.190" LastActivityDate="2017-04-23T17:53:35.737" Title="Potty Training my 20 month old boy" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14268" CreationDate="2014-07-04T17:24:28.490" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you should wait a bit. Ideally, your child should come to see you right after soiling his diaper to get it changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried very hard to potty-train my second daughter, but it only worked when she would come see us to get a diaper when she was naked and needed to pee. Before that moment, she wasn't ready. That was at about 30 months old, by the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2820" LastActivityDate="2014-07-04T17:24:28.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14268" CreationDate="2014-07-04T17:52:45.520" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Twenty months is quite young to expect a child to be potty trained. It will happen when he's physiologically and developmentally ready, and there's not a lot you can do to move it forward, and good reasons not to try: frustration and icky messes on your part, tears and shame on his part, and a lot of conflict between you two to no purpose. If it isn't working, he's just not ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-07-04T17:52:45.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14232" CreationDate="2014-07-04T21:08:19.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent but I know people that got their kids to stop using binkys. Let them use them, but each week cut a little snip off the tip. After two or so months there won't be any left. Most likely they'll not want it any more though before it even gets to that point.  You just gotta make sure they don't find any full ones or it ruins it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9302" LastActivityDate="2014-07-04T21:08:19.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14090" CreationDate="2014-07-05T12:30:58.803" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds to me like he wants more independence and less parental oversight. He ought to figure out for himself what he wants to do, probably something that will allow him to support himself as soon as he's old enough. Don't knock what he chooses to do unless it hurts other people or his health. Your love and care and concern could be suppressing him and making him powerless to be self-motivated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He should do what he wants, and when he needs help should feel free to come to you. If you raise him well, he shouldn't hurt anybody out in the real world when he becomes a young adult but if you don't trust him out in the real world when he reaches that point then just continue what you're doing until you all feel confident enough, because you're doing FINE for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9305" LastEditorUserId="9305" LastEditDate="2014-07-05T12:37:17.530" LastActivityDate="2014-07-05T12:37:17.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14276" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-05T17:59:36.493" Score="9" ViewCount="740" Body="&lt;p&gt;We allow our 3-year-old daughter to watch a certain amount of TV, and she has a few favorite shows: Peppa Pig, Ben &amp;amp; Holly, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a lot of satellite channels, so the TV is usually showing something she likes. We also have a few DVDs of her favorite shows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The difference of course is that TV breaks up the programmes with introductions, trailers, and adverts, while the DVD shows programmes one after another (I call it &quot;crack TV&quot;!). Another consideration is that sometimes on TV she ends up watching a show that's new to her, and likes it, which never happens with a DVD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those reasons, I'm coming to the conclusion that TV is a better choice than DVDs. Hence my question - what are the relative merits?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6255" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T19:13:57.303" Title="What are the merits of TV vs DVD?" Tags="|television|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14276" CreationDate="2014-07-05T18:37:25.750" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is of course very subjective, but one of the reasons I dislike TV is because of the advertisements. My kid starts asking for everything from snacks that she tries once and never touches again to expensive toys. I also think that finding new shows isn't necessarily an advantage, either. It starts out with just getting to watch one show a day, then she likes the look of the next show that she saw the trailer for, and before you know it, every show is a &quot;favorite,&quot; and it's always &quot;just one more!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that we do use a great deal in our house is our Netflix subscription. We do have the ability to find new shows based on what we have watched and liked, with no commercials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2014-07-05T18:37:25.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14276" CreationDate="2014-07-05T18:38:41.167" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good observations. I see things in sort of the opposite way, so let's compare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that &lt;strong&gt;commercials are the evil twin&lt;/strong&gt; of TV entertainment, &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; when they're aimed at kids, &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; when they appear between kids' shows. I don't want to indoctrinate consumerism into my kids' heads; there's plenty of opportunity elsewhere. That's one reason why I personally record almost anything I want to watch - because I can then skip the commercials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're right that TV provides a certain element of positive &lt;strong&gt;serendipity&lt;/strong&gt;, and that's absolutely a plus. On the other hand, my 4yo prefers to &lt;strong&gt;watch the same episodes again and again&lt;/strong&gt;, and you won't get that on TV. Another plus with DVD is that you can &lt;strong&gt;pause&lt;/strong&gt; it at any moment, for any reason. In either case, my 4yo can't hold his attention on the screen for more than 30 minutes or so, and he can't really keep up if a new episode or show moves forward too fast. He's not a hardcore media consumer (yet ;) ).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See also these related questions that I found in the sidebar. They touch on what I mentioned above:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7569/my-toddler-wants-to-watch-the-same-shows-over-and-over?rq=1&quot;&gt;My toddler wants to watch the same shows over and over&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11492/what-exactly-is-the-problem-with-the-television?rq=1&quot;&gt;What exactly is the problem with the Television?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I don't own an actual TV set -- we have a &quot;media center&quot; computer that records from TV and on which I also store a copy of all DVDs, so it's easy to click and pick whatever we want to watch, one show at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-07-05T18:38:41.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14219" CreationDate="2014-07-05T18:55:44.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to take her once a year. For one thing, as you point out, her prescription is only valid for one year. If her glasses were lost or damaged, you will have to get an appointment and have her eyes checked before you can replace them. Depending on the availability of your optometrist and others in your area, this could be difficult to do immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More important, however, is that she may not even realize that her eyes are getting worse until they are significantly worse. Vision changes happen so gradually that they are hard to notice until there is a real problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last, and most important, it is just as important to get yearly eye checkups as to get regular medical checkups. Many eye conditions and diseases that can be treated and fixed if caught early can cause irreparable vision damage if not caught in time. For this reason, even adults with perfect vision should regularly have their eyes checked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2014-07-05T18:55:44.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14280" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14281" CreationDate="2014-07-05T19:16:10.127" Score="1" ViewCount="6139" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm having twins. I installed two rear-faced car seats in my car. But there is no more place for me to sit near them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it necessary that an adult sit near a newborn baby in his carseat to take care of him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-17T22:36:56.557" LastActivityDate="2018-04-17T22:36:56.557" Title="Is it necessary that an adult sit near a newborn baby in his carseat?" Tags="|newborn|car-seat|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14280" CreationDate="2014-07-05T19:45:48.913" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nope. If you would be more comfortable keeping an eye on them, there are mirrors you can install that allow you to see them in your rear view mirror. However, you will be wise to watch the road instead of the sleeping babies in the back seat; every newborn I've ever met just sleeps in the car so you won't be missing much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-07-05T19:45:48.913" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14282" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-06T00:32:33.777" Score="5" ViewCount="733" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter gets sick roughly every time we drive to my parents' house.  We already time it for her nap, but it's over two hours, so she winds up awake for the last 30 minutes to an hour or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the worst part is that she &lt;em&gt;almost&lt;/em&gt; makes it (so anything that delays onset might actually work). It's brutal getting through two hours without incident, only to wind up with a car full of puke (and a sad, sad little girl) in &lt;em&gt;the last 15 minutes&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that what you can see can sometimes help, but she's under two, so I want her in a rear facing car seat, which means there's no way to let her see out the front window.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone found a way to manage this in a kid under two?  I can't easily stop taking them to their grandparents place, but you wouldn't believe how many places puke can get in a car seat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2829" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T10:08:51.363" Title="How can I help my daughter stop puking in our car?" Tags="|toddler|travel|vomiting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13931" CreationDate="2014-07-06T06:08:25.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent, rather a child, and as someone who's relatively recently (I'm nineteen, so not &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; recently, but still) been on the other side of this everlasting dilemma, I'm inclined to err on the side of keeping the conversation natural, but firm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, I consider myself fortunate that I was never sat down and talked to about the &quot;birds and the bees&quot; on some sunny afternoon before my first date as sitcoms seem to like to encourage. As you might guess, then, I'm not a particularly big fan of &quot;the talk&quot; on principle for a few main reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it's awkward for everyone. You can be as close with your child as you want, but when you sit down and make a huge deal of something like that, it'll put a whole lot of awkward in something that doesn't need it. Particularly at the age where someone might think of sitting down for such a discussion, the last thing the child probably wants is to be put on some pedestal and suddenly patronized for whatever the parent may think he/she does or doesn't know. That leads nicely to my second point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, let's say you get over that awkwardness. You've read all the books about how to have this conversation and you know how to answer any question and not seem even remotely condescending. That's frustrating for us kids as well. For how fortunate I was to not endure &quot;the talk&quot; with my parents, I was unfortunate enough to have them resolve to the very understandable and practical alternative of sending me to (dun, dun, dunnn) a class on it. This was dreadful for me, and it drew such a strong divide between us that I wouldn't have felt comfortable asking questions, even if I was willing enough to pay attention and try and develop some from the class. Instead, I spent the whole class emailing (kids these days with their texting don't know how lucky they are) my best friend about how miserable I was, meanwhile making a point to not even act interested enough to lend any satisfaction to my father, who, naturally, was seated next to me. Bringing this point back to how it began, I can only assume that the leaders of this class were very skilled in what they were doing, they were professional sex-educators after all, and yet the whole position drew me to such a defensive position that I stood nothing to gain. Furthermore, a consequence of a class like this was that I was inherently considered to know exactly the same things about sex as everyone else my age. Call this a complaint more on our education system in general than anything, but here's a little secret about children: &lt;strong&gt;they don't know everything about sex, but when you tell them things they do know and act like they wouldn't have, they'll focus at least some of their effort on how smart they must be and how unimportant talking about this is, and remove said focus from the parts that they didn't already know.&lt;/strong&gt; That will enhance the awkwardness (because they'll start thinking about the apparently uselessness) and reduce the effectiveness all 'round. It's much better, in my opinion, to get some idea of what your child does or doesn't know, then work to fill in the blanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's put it this way: from the point at which we gain consciousness of our own physical selves, we begin to learn about how our sexual organs react to the environment. That's when our sexual education starts (although I won't argue if someone argues it's sooner than that). When we're &quot;grown up&quot; (quotes because I'm still not sure at nineteen whether I'm allowed to speak on such a topic, but I guess I have to start some time and I am on a parenting forum so it might as well be now), we're still learning. We learn with our partners and through whatever unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your feelings on such things, I'm not here to judge), internet search results we come across. Sexual education is an ongoing matter and should be treated as such. It isn't something that you can sit down for an hour and transfer over to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have some other issues with the idea of setting out a formal talk, but I think you get the picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So enough of that negativity, then. Well, kinda.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So obviously, I'm not arguing that children should be left to fend for themselves in the sexual universe. That would be positively dreadful for us all. I also don't think parents should sit idly by and wait for their child to say &quot;hey, pops, sometimes my penis feels weird when I'm hugging a pretty girl and I was wondering in what scope that might relate to my body's changes and readiness for sexual conduct to occur,&quot; because that's probably not going to happen. If it does, cool, be ready for it with Oxford University on the line. And that's either the start of your life and this question becoming very easy or very, very difficult. But for the vast majority of child-parent relationships, I'd be willing to bet that such a comment, or one more age-suitable, won't come up naturally, and by the child's decision alone. Rather, as the parent, it's your position to build the environment where your child is intellectually curious (I use the term &quot;intellectually&quot; there to clarify that I'm not suggesting you promote your child's physical, sexual curiosities. I like to think that's a given but there you go.) and comfortable enough to approach you, and it's your position to drop hints and ask questions for yourself to bring the conversation out naturally. Here's something so key to what I'm saying that I'll even bold it: &lt;strong&gt;sex is natural, so there's no reason your conversations about it have to be anything less than that as well&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what does a natural conversation that you might coerce look like? That's a tricky one because it depends a lot on the circumstances. I think it's also important to note here that nothing won't be awkward at first, because it takes time for everyone involved to get used to these things. But I think great starting points to build the relationship that will allow your child to ask questions freely are things like &quot;do you like anyone at school?&quot; or even &quot;do you think anyone in your class is cute?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A quick aside on that one: I specifically chose &quot;cute&quot; here rather than pretty/handsome to avoid some negative feelings I think those words can put off in such a context, as well as to allow for gender ambiguity in their answer. That's good for a few reasons. The most obvious and concise one, to me anyway, is that your child--shocker--might not be straight, and might know it, even if he/she/they don't know the word or even the concept of homosexuality. Second, that gives your child a solid &quot;out.&quot; Whether consciously or otherwise, your child might not want to answer that question. You should respect that. By not making it a game of &quot;you should tell me who of the opposite gender you find sexually attractive so I can explain to you how you're feeling&quot; and instead building a conversation of just &quot;hey, who does cute things in your class?&quot; you can make the whole back-and-forth more natural, less one-sided, and more fun. If they're a straight male and so is their best friend, but their best friend does cute things now and then and they choose to share that with you, that's not a failed conversation by any measure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, those are pretty easy examples, sure, and I'll admit that I didn't take too kindly to such questioning when I was young (I'm not sure I would now, to be honest), but it's those sorts of questions that will do three very important things for you and your child. First, you'll be opening an ongoing conversation about the other (or the same, for that matter) gender. That's not such a bad place to be for the entirety of, well, life. Second, you'll be showing them that you're ready to talk but that you aren't desperate to, or more importantly, that you aren't going to force them into an awkward corner of it. Thirdly, and this might be the most important of them all, it will let you judge your child's reaction. You can get some really valuable information from that. If they're clearly hiding something, they might not want to have this talk right now. That's okay. Just because you think it's time doesn't necessarily mean it needs to be time, particularly if you're planning ahead. If they act earnestly uninterested, that can tell you that it isn't time to have the talk even more. Perhaps they haven't started, or even just haven't had enough time experiencing, the &quot;changes&quot; that you want to talk to them about. If that's the case, you know to hold off for when it might become a more relevant issue for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So anyway, the length of this response has truly escaped me, but that's my thoughts on it. TL;DR: I think sex is natural and conversations about it should be too, but don't let your child feel like he/she/they are left out to figure it all out for themselves. Don't teach your child that sex is a topic that should be tucked away, either through making it awkward or through ignoring it completely. Be ready for them to help you guide your way through the conversation, or at least feel like that's what they're doing. Give hints, answer questions with leading (but not uninformative or frustrating) comments, and be ready to revisit topics in the future if now just isn't the right time for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That all said, I don't disagree with the person above who said that it doesn't really matter in the long run. All that I've said is just how I think it's the most comfortable and &quot;effective,&quot; but when all is said and done, it'll work out in the long run. There's no real reason to worry about what balance of each path you choose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9307" LastEditorUserId="9307" LastEditDate="2014-07-06T07:22:25.140" LastActivityDate="2014-07-06T07:22:25.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14282" CreationDate="2014-07-06T07:53:27.437" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did a bit of searching on this one and it's particularly challenging because of the &quot;under 2yo&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most common advice I found was to stop and let her out for awhile. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/childrens-health/expert-answers/car-sickness-in-children/faq-20057876&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The MayoClinic&lt;/a&gt; seemed to have the most well-rounded advice.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other common advice that related to your particular situation was letting in some air, but I'm guessing you've tried that one already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with almost all issues related to children, a one-size-fits-all solution doesn't seem to exist, but maybe these ideas will help you and your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-07-06T07:53:27.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14286" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-06T20:22:09.403" Score="2" ViewCount="135" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are holes from which I can hang the springboard upon which my son's mattress will rest in the Graco Lauren Classic Crib we bought from Target.  I thought I remembered that you could set it on the top most hole as long as your kid isn't up and walking around, but I'm not certain and the manual that I found online for it doesn't really specify this information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1880" LastActivityDate="2014-07-17T10:05:49.357" Title="Which holes to hang the springboard from on Graco Lauren Classic Crib from Target?" Tags="|crib|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13931" CreationDate="2014-07-06T20:29:27.860" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know, I wrote that really long answer yesterday, and I stand by it, but I was thinking about this today and I've come to a more refined conclusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sex isn't something that parents or teachers can or should teach to their children. It's a whole, big, weird concept. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to, there are aspects of growing up wherein sex and sexuality is important for sure, but in seventy years when they're reflecting on their lives, I'd make the wager that they won't be thinking back to how much they learned about their bodies or sex from their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So instead of trying to teach your children &quot;everything&quot; about sex, focus more on teaching them to--this is gonna get cheesy fast so be ready--respect themselves and others. I'm definitely not arguing for abstinence here, you should definitely answer your child's questions and work to inform them as best as you can. But if your son grows up knowing everything about fallopian tubes before he starts sixth grade and nothing about building a meaningful relationship with a girl (or a boy, or neither) with mutual trust and respect, he'll suddenly be the one at a disadvantage in twenty years when their friends have been in meaningful relationships and gotten to experiment sexually and emotionally with people they adore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this sounds like it's all a little off-topic from the main question of having &quot;the talk&quot; versus dragging it all out, I think I made my views on that pretty clear in my previous answer, but it's really not unrelated at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I think an underrated aspect of sex-ed is just the social part. I know as parents you already think about that and what I'm saying probably isn't too revolutionary. But yeah. If you can teach your child that it's okay to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; know everything about sex, and that it's okay to ask you questions or learn hands-on (pun intended?) with someone they care deeply about when the age is right, I think they'll be on an excellent track to understanding the important aspects. Teach the details, but never forget the big picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So again, sorry if this doesn't really provide a strict answer to the question as posed. But I think this is still a relevant point of view given the context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9307" LastEditorUserId="9307" LastEditDate="2014-07-06T20:52:40.833" LastActivityDate="2014-07-06T20:52:40.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14290" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-07T01:05:58.333" Score="5" ViewCount="4927" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12 years old son hits, pushes, and teases his 7 years old sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was born he would constantly disturb me while feeding her and helping her.  I tried to involve him in taking care of her, but it did not help. I took him to my pediatrician and she spoke to him and he was fine for few days. As they grew older he started taking her toys and pulling away things while she was engaged in any activity. I tried to take away his privileges and he would show temporary improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At school he behaves very well and his teachers appreciate him. His grades are consistently good and he works hard to excel in academics. My husband is only concerned about his studies and says that all siblings have this type of clashes. When my daughter complains about my son, my husband shouts and threatens him. This does not have any effect and my son says that she provokes him and she should be blamed for his behavior. I am confused and frustrated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9312" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-07-09T12:06:58.000" LastActivityDate="2014-11-10T16:20:10.130" Title="Abusive behavior of 12 years old son" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|violence|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14290" CreationDate="2014-07-07T01:18:19.373" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nobody hits in my household. No spanking, no violence, ever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If violence is unacceptable always, you have to jump on that behavior &lt;strong&gt;instantly, every time&lt;/strong&gt; with a consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If violence is only sometimes unacceptable, when and where it's acceptable is a difficult thing to teach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T01:18:19.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14276" CreationDate="2014-07-07T04:21:25.470" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, my kids watch more DVDs than live TV. But they watch on-demand programming (via Netflix) way more than either of those options. So my take on the pros and cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schedule: With live TV, you have to revolve your schedule around the show you want to watch. Dinosaur train comes on at 11:30? Ok, now you have to actually be home at 11:30 to see it. That could be a pro or con depending on your perspective. On the one hand, that can used to teach lessons about time-keeping and boundaries that are beyond their (and your) control. On the other hand, that also means your schedule has to revolve around the TV schedule if you want to see a certain show. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Commercials: That's a big con to live TV in most cases. All the ads for toys and food products and other things they're bound to want. DVD to a lesser degree has advertisements for other DVDs, but not other consumer products and sometimes you can skip them. On-demand programming often has fewer commercials or leaves them out entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discovery: Live TV makes it easy to discover new shows because they come on automatically after other shows end. Which is good if your child is not excited to try new shows otherwise, but bad if your kid is discovering shows that make you cringe because they are annoying or inappropriate in some way. On demand offers discovery options sometimes as well. Netflix suggests other shows you might like because you watched this or that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Location: DVDs are more flexible about where they can be watched. You can take them in the car with a portable dvd player. You can take them to grandmas and play them on her tv. You can take them on an airplane where you don't even have wifi to play youtube, etc. In this regard DVDs are a win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Length of play: while DVDs may have many episodes back to back, if you skip &quot;auto play&quot; mode and use the main menu to select an episode it will almost always play just one episode and then stop automatically. On TV, unless you have a fancy tv with a sleep timer, there's no automatically shut off after this episode option. If you need to play continuously without intervention, TV wins. If you want shorter playback, on demand or DVD wins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T04:21:25.470" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14290" CreationDate="2014-07-07T05:50:24.600" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the spirit of SO, I'd like to ask what have you tried ? Anyway, I am assuming that you tried to explain gently and politely and that did not work. However, if I were you, I'd try to do it like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one like to be mistreated. Would you like it if someone bigger and stronger did that to you for no reason at all ? Go hug your sister and say sorry to her. Tell your daughter to be prepared for this and accept his apology and love. If this also does not work, remind him again and gently push him a bit 3-4 times to show how it feels.&#xA;Let us know how this goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorUserId="7381" LastEditDate="2014-11-09T19:47:37.790" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T19:47:37.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14294" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-07T06:21:11.573" Score="7" ViewCount="1683" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12 year son seems to be growing up way too soon.. He went from playing with his Legos one day to next texting girls the next. He goes back and forth. One day he is in the shower playing with his action figures and a few hours later acting very grown. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One problem here is that I found him &lt;a href=&quot;http://kik.com/&quot;&gt;Kiking&lt;/a&gt; (an instant message application for mobile devices) girls he has never meet before. One girl is 15, going by the last name of &quot;Sexton&quot; and showing a little too much skin. His profile says &quot;very single&quot;. This is all too new for me and nerve-racking. How do I go about this? Should I let him continue using Kik? I'm one that believed I can try to prevent it but they'll eventually find a way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want him to trust me and I want to trust him. I don't know where to start in advising him, if I should take phone iPod privileges away. He doesn't do that great in school either. He went from always on the honor roll to failing at least 2 classes every quarter. He was a very good kid, now he is always lying. What can I do? Any advice on how I can handle this situation, especially from those with a similar experience?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9314" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-07-07T12:17:27.510" LastActivityDate="2014-07-26T01:30:35.033" Title="What should I do about my pre-teen son messaging older girls he's never met?" Tags="|behavior|age-appropriate|pre-teen|communication|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14295" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14301" CreationDate="2014-07-07T07:47:44.887" Score="2" ViewCount="2266" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl is 13 months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At birth, her weight was 2.7 kg and her height was 55 cm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now at 13 months, her weight is 7.8 kg (tripled) and her height is only 71 cm. (less than doubled). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried about her height. Is it normal or should I consult a doctor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9315" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T18:07:27.177" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T18:24:42.353" Title="Is my baby short for her age?" Tags="|toddler|health|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14296" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-07T08:13:22.010" Score="9" ViewCount="717" Body="&lt;p&gt;What age do children understand magic as something that experience tells us can't be real, yet still appears to happen? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This morning I made my 11 month old daughter's stuffed giraffe disappear and I swear she was truly surprised and couldn't work out where it had gone.  Is she old enough to be amazed by magic, or are we projecting ourselves onto her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4229" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T17:43:34.127" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T18:03:41.017" Title="What age do children understand magic" Tags="|development|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7803" CreationDate="2014-07-07T13:09:41.687" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pollyanna, the leading character of a novel by Eleanor H. Porter is a great role model because she taught kids optimism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9282" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-07-08T04:22:16.533" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T04:22:16.533" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-07-07T13:09:41.687" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14298" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14312" CreationDate="2014-07-07T15:17:50.540" Score="36" ViewCount="18709" Body="&lt;p&gt;In summary: I am the daughter. My mother is being domestically abused by my father. What can I do to make him stop &lt;strong&gt;without hurting my mother in any way? - she still loves him!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Details: My father is a very abusive character. When I was a child, he used to go into 'rage' modes where he would just beat the life out of my mother. Trying to interfere would only get me enough injuries to not be able to go to school for the next week. As he got older, the rages got fewer but he would still lash out randomly. I'm not talking about the odd slap to the face kind of abuse - I am talking about the kind of abuse that lasts for up to 20 minutes, and renders my mother bloody and swollen and not able to walk for days. Growing up it was extremely painful (physically and mentally) for me and I still wake up from the nightmares. I was terrified of him - I think I've spoken about 15 words with him my entire life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I moved out when I was 18, reasoning that I could get my mother to come live with me, but she refuses to go anywhere without him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last time I went to visit, they started an argument and I interfered and told my dad to back off.  He started yelling things at my mother saying she's been training me to go against him, and I wound up backing off at the request of my mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would very much like to file a complaint against him but that would just make things worse for my mother - she wants to be with my father (and I don't understand her) and furthermore, if I do file a complaint, I am sure I will never be able to see my mother again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have thought of this so much for the past week that I am hopeless and see no way forward. I even considered paying him some cash every month, almost a bribe to not fight with my mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you think of any way I can put an end to this without hurting my father's ego so it wouldn't create any more consequences? If only I can find a way to persuade him to not physically abuse my mother...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I moved out to a different country as soon as I could (that's how much distance I wanted between us) and though I now live in a better place, my mother still lives in a third world country where help for cases like this is not readily available - certainly no helpline that I can find online, but a legal action may be a possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;During the times when &quot;arranged marriage&quot; was the only acceptable type of marriage, my parents loved each other and, naturally, their parents / family did not agree to that, so they had to do the &quot;runaway marriage&quot; - because of this, neither my mother's family nor my father's family are now in contact with any of us. So getting family members involved is not an option.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for answering, I was just hopeful that maybe there is a way.. a strategy.. or something I could to to intervene. Looks like professional help is the way to go, though I am scared of that route.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9320" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T12:00:20.640" LastActivityDate="2021-05-07T15:11:59.140" Title="How to persuade my father to stop physically abusing my mother?" Tags="|parents|violence|abuse|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14296" CreationDate="2014-07-07T16:26:47.497" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question sounds related to object permanence -- the understanding that an object should still be there even when it's out of sight.  There's been research and studies into those ages in which babies start showing an understanding of object permanence.  According to wikipedia, by the age of 8 to 12 months, babies will start showing the earliest understanding of object permanence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_permanence&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_permanence&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9164" LastEditorUserId="9164" LastEditDate="2014-07-08T21:57:04.163" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T21:57:04.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-07-07T16:28:15.117" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are no easy answers.  You need to seek professional help and encourage your mother to do the same.  A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/support-a-friend-or-family-member-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx&quot;&gt;domestic violence helpline&lt;/a&gt; is a good place to start.  Be patient and supportive, and help her get into a position where she is strong and self confident enough to do what she needs to do for herself.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T16:28:15.117" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14295" CreationDate="2014-07-07T16:37:52.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.in/a1052197/baby-girls-growth-chart&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; average height for 13 months old girl is 75.2 cm and average weight is 9.2 kg. So your baby's height seems pretty normal. However, at this age the growth trend is important. Your pediatrician should have a record of height/weight at different ages and compare it to what is considered to be normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T16:37:52.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14302" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14307" CreationDate="2014-07-07T18:04:11.797" Score="6" ViewCount="7354" Body="&lt;p&gt;OK, I know how it sounds, but this really happened today!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As is usual with boys, while changing the diaper he transformed into a fountain.&#xA;I tried to cover myself with my hand, which deflected the stream and a few drops got into his ear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was told that you should not try to wash/clean internal parts of an ear of a new-born child. OTOH, I believe that humidity inside ear, hygiene, and aesthetics provide some good reasons to clean up the mess in this case. Are the acids from child's urine dangerous for ears? What should I use to clean it up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9323" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T12:52:09.940" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T18:57:52.360" Title="What to do if my new-born child urinated into own ear?" Tags="|newborn|ear|urine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14282" CreationDate="2014-07-07T18:30:00.377" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably there is no easy solution, but as a person who gets car sick pretty often I would suggest the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try different car if possible. Car (and driver) do make a difference.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try driving her often starting from short distances and slowly&#xA;increasing the distance so she gets used to being in the car&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try feeding her bread (or bagel, if available)  - right before&#xA;leaving and/or right after she wakes up in the car. That what works for me&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also make sure there are no offensive smells in the car (e.g. air freshener, perfume, etc). And make sure there is nothing moving in front of her (like toys).&#xA;Also I think you are already doing this, but keep a lot of plastic bags easily accessible so the stuff does not get all over the place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T18:30:00.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14290" CreationDate="2014-07-07T18:43:40.487" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looks like there is a lot of jealousy going on which has not been resolved for a long time.&#xA;I suggest reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12816644-siblings-without-rivalry&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Siblings Without Rivalry&lt;/a&gt;. It addresses different scenarios and gives suggestion on what to do in different situation, including the ones you described above.&#xA;Meanwhile I suggest: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't  react to your daughter complains the way your husband does(and this is discussed in the book as well). She might have figured &#xA;out that it gets her brother in trouble and use it. If not now, then&#xA;in the future. If you did not see what happened you can't assign the&#xA;blame. If your daughter complains, tell kids to resolve the issue&#xA;themselves. If it does not get resolved both would face&#xA;consequences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to you son and spend some time alone with him. Tell him you love him. A lot. Do the same with your daughter. But not at the same time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't put kids in the roles. Older brother does not mean more responsible and protector. Younger sister does not mean weak and blameless. He does not have to love his sister (though this is something we want as parents), but he has to treat her with respect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastEditorUserId="574" LastEditDate="2014-11-10T16:20:10.130" LastActivityDate="2014-11-10T16:20:10.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14228" CreationDate="2014-07-07T18:58:20.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I noticed that my son's behavior worsens after vacation. I find that the following helps to get it better:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Schedule - get him in bed on time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No electronics and TV&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A lot of time outside to get his energy out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking to him about his behavior&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;May be get some suggestions from his teacher&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T18:58:20.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14302" CreationDate="2014-07-07T20:29:37.657" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just a few drops of urine is entirely inconsequential. You can wipe away any wetness that is on the skin and in the outer ear, but don't do anything inside the ear canal. If it's &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt; then you could wash the outer ear just like you would during bath-time, but still leave the inner ear alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fresh air often encourages a bit of peeing but &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4466/109&quot;&gt;as I mentioned here&lt;/a&gt; you can avoid &quot;rogue peeing&quot; by covering the crotch with a washcloth when you open the diaper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-07-07T20:29:37.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14265" CreationDate="2014-07-08T00:52:51.277" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is pretty normal for siblings, and there are a lot of factors in play. The toy somebody plays with always seems more interesting. There is a book Siblings without Rivalry which discusses it in details. I would suggest to do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Establish ownership. Each kid does not have to share his toy (of course, they can be asked, but don't insist).  If Alex does not want his brother to play with his toy he should play with it somewhere out of site. if he does not want to play with it out of site, then the kids have to resolve the conflict themselves or you take it from them. When Alex wants to play with Ben's toys remind him that Ben does not play with Alex's toys and suggest Alex to figure out how to exchange it for something else.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If there is a conflict because of shared toy, first let them resolve themselves. If they can't, take it away.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If this is a baby toy, but it used to be Alex's toy, it is still Alex's toy in his mind most likely. So keep it in mind.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let the kids to workout conflicts themselves as much as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="574" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T00:52:51.277" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14302" CreationDate="2014-07-08T05:44:16.400" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Urine is sterile leaving the baby's bladder, but doesn't stay that way for long; it is an ideal growth medium for bacteria. Personally, I would rinse it out, just as I would had it hit any other part of his body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with getting clean water in your baby's ears. You will not get water in the inner ear (that is the third and deepest part of the ear) or the middle ear (where ear infections occur). The outer ear ends at the tympanic membrane (aka the ear drum), which will keep everything out of the middle ear. The infant's ear canal is not deep or angled at this point, and it should be easy to rinse out. While you are washing the scalp/face/etc., just let some drops of &lt;em&gt;clean warm water&lt;/em&gt; run from the outer ear into the canal (Cool water won't hurt him, but it's uncomfortable; in fact, using cold water ellicits an attack of vertigo; the test is called &quot;cold water calorics&quot;!) When the canal is full, turn your baby's head so that the water runs out. If it's been a while since this happened, repeat once. Dry well with a towel, again turning your baby's head so that the canal drains. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Male infants do urinate on themselves. You would wash his face if he urinated on it, wouldn't you? Same applies to the ear. No biggie. He won't get &quot;swimmer's ear&quot; if that's what you're afraid of, and a middle ear infection is not possible this way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be more concerned about bacteria growing in what little urine is left in the ear canal than any harm from rinsing it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T18:57:52.360" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T18:57:52.360" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-07-08T05:45:18.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your father is an evil person. There is no hope for losers like him. Do not pay this scumbag anything. You already lost a lot because of him. As suggested, get help from a domestic helpline or even the cops. The ones in developed countries are usually helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its highly likely that your mom suffers from Stockholm syndrome - &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome&lt;/a&gt;. But you also need to find out why she wants to stick with him. &#xA;Is she deluded that she can still change him, which she obviously cannot ? Does she depend on him financially and does not want you to bear her expenses in any way ? As an aside, if you don't mind, I'd like to know if your dad is a deadbeat or alcoholic/drug abuser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its good that you got away from this mess. But you have to find a reliable way to take care of yourself emotionally and financially. Its a lot for most 18 year olds. How are you taking care of money ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T05:45:18.897" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14282" CreationDate="2014-07-08T06:32:24.933" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Drivers matter; so do the numbers of twists and turns. If she always seems to get sick at around the same time (15 minutes from your parents' house), it might be that it's a particularly winding route that's affecting her. You have a few options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that giving her crackers (high starch, low fat) and a little non-fat liquid (i.e. no milk) before the ride (and not a meal) is a good idea. First trimester nausea is often helped by crackers at the bedside. Flat (natural) ginger ale is a good idea as well, as ginger root is a known herbal anti-emetic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're usually the driver, try letting another adult drive. If the other adult drives more slowly, that will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your direct route is particularly winding, you can try a slightly longer one with fewer turns if that's possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's awake and bored, try music rather than a plaything. Anything that focuses her vision on a non-moving object in front of her will make it worse (like reading in a car does for adults.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can stop the car and take her out of her seat for a little walk before she gets sick (highly recommended). A few minutes of fresh air without swaying may be all she needs to get through that last half hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all else fails, ask her doctor about using a first generation antihistamine, such as benadryl elixir. Although it has not been extensively studied in children, it has been used in little ones (including under two) for decades. It's sedating, though, and I would definitely get her doctor's opinion before using it. The second generation (non-sedating) antihistamines don't work well for motion sickness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T06:32:24.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-07-08T07:57:13.630" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off let me applaud you loudly for taking this step. Many in similar situations are too ashamed to admit it to others. Your mother is one example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, this is a large complex problem, which we can help only minimally online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Google &amp;quot;abused women help&amp;quot; - Which resources look useful to you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the United States, many cities have shelters for abused women.  Contact the closest one. She needs to know that she has options- there is another way to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not an expert, but apparently &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lib.jjay.cuny.edu/research/spouse.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;getting the police involved lessens the risk to her sometimes.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other resources are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Join a Codependent's Anonymous group or similar.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many churches&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9330" LastEditorUserId="31886" LastEditDate="2021-05-07T15:11:59.140" LastActivityDate="2021-05-07T15:11:59.140" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14282" CreationDate="2014-07-08T10:08:51.363" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you explore some fun things she can do inside or near the car.  I tried and it worked for me. What I did,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I made her familiar with my car (SUV).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I let her participate in car wash(just for fun, not actual car wash)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I play jingles, cartoon character voices, poems, TV ads in car stereo.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I always stop car, after 1 or 2 hours ride, to get some fresh air&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I bring kids of her age in car (mostly relatives who she knows by face.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nice sparkling lights, toys etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make her familiar with other objects on road, like some small car, kids with their parents, hotels, shops etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are so many other things you can do, to make CAR ride a joyful ride, not just a means of transport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9332" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T10:08:51.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14314" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14358" CreationDate="2014-07-08T12:25:39.970" Score="2" ViewCount="283" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Elimination Communication&lt;/a&gt; was mentioned in a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14302/what-to-do-if-my-new-born-child-urinated-into-own-ear#comment25363_14302&quot;&gt;comment&lt;/a&gt; on another question, and I started looking into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems an interesting concept, but I don't understand quite how it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you determine the timing?  Once you've established the timing, how do you keep up with the changes as the baby gets older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wikipedia talks about the basics, but more details would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parents report that some babies as young as three months will appear to hold all their bowel movements until they are held in a particular squat position, as long as this is offered regularly enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is this &quot;particular squat position&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else should someone attempting Elimination Communication know?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-25T12:01:10.047" LastActivityDate="2019-07-25T12:01:10.047" Title="How does Elimination Communication work?" Tags="|toddler|infant|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14315" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-08T12:38:20.353" Score="6" ViewCount="280" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do not know what to do anymore with my 6 year old daughter's lack of appetite for learning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She does not like to read anything. She would learn all the sight words and forget most of them, or can't recognize them in a sentence. She cannot read a full sentence at her grade level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like she is not ready for first grade. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need to know what are some activities that I can do, or anything that would motivate her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9335" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-07-08T12:44:02.767" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T11:49:12.777" Title="How do I get my primary-schooler to love learning?" Tags="|primary-schooler|education|motivation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-07-08T15:17:37.973" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, which is both of the personal and professional kind, the problem lies not with your father, but with your mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;hey, ho, you're wrong&lt;/code&gt;, you scream while banging your fist in the air.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, hear me out. It isn't her fault that he is abusive, no, but the problem lies with your mother none the less. Someone mentioned the &lt;code&gt;Stockholm Syndrome&lt;/code&gt;, which is close to what your mother experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is often the case that physical abuse in a relationship comes packaged with a fair bit of emotional manipulation where the abuser bit by bit takes away the identity of the abusee by &quot;pushing them down&quot; and then &quot;pulling them up&quot; repeatedly. This emotional (and, in your case, physical) &quot;jerking&quot; effectively makes the victim associate their well-being with the abuser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case, your mother probably truly believes that without your father, she's worth nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you might have started to figure out, there's few things you can do, and what little you can do won't guarantee any quick results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, tearing them apart by force (i.e. filing a complaint) will either put distance between you and your mother or she might even go back to him, but this might be a solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step one for you, I believe, is to contact social services in your (their) area and explain to them that you are worried for the well being of your mother. If possible, bring &lt;em&gt;evidence&lt;/em&gt; such as photographs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;As Jasmine wrote in a comment, this behaviour is mostly subconscious and to clarify a bit; your father is not &quot;evil&quot; in any way. Just as your mother need help, so does your father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9337" LastEditorUserId="9337" LastEditDate="2014-07-09T13:12:42.093" LastActivityDate="2014-07-09T13:12:42.093" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5605" CreationDate="2014-07-08T16:02:31.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well I was scared of slender man then I told my mom and she explained why it was stupid made a&#xA;few jokes like if he lives in the woods why is he's suite so clean I bet its dry clean only (ect.). Then I got on youtube saw how someone can look like slender man and some cheesy fake video of slender man sightings. Now I'm fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9338" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T16:02:31.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14315" CreationDate="2014-07-08T17:02:35.633" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, keep in mind that many if not most children are not really developmentally ready for formal academics until age 7 or so.  I don't know where you're located, but here in the U.S., recent academic standards are set mostly by politicians, and don't always line up very well with early childhood research.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It used to be that schools didn't even &lt;em&gt;start&lt;/em&gt; teaching reading until first grade, and many countries with more successful school systems still delay formal academics until age 7.  In other words, chances are in a year or so it will suddenly start clicking for your daughter, without you really having to do anything.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, my son was in a similar situation.  He hated to read at school, and was falling behind, which is one reason out of many we decided to pull him out to homeschool.  What made the most difference with him is so simple it's almost stupid.  &lt;strong&gt;We let him read about things that interest him.&lt;/strong&gt;  We take him to the library every week and let him pick what he wants, with the caveat that it has to be at or just slightly above his level.  Some books he really wanted that were above his level, so we let him pick those for a parent to read to him, and now he can read them on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what if he mostly reads about ninjas and Star Wars?  We got the mechanics down first, and now he not only enjoys reading stuff he likes, he doesn't break out in tears anymore when we ask him to read the boring stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My four year-old daughter really enjoys this &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/1423169816&quot;&gt;princess reading adventures boxed set&lt;/a&gt;.  We are not actively teaching her to read yet, but with the repetition and simplicity of these books, she has learned several sight words just from having them read to her.  I highly recommend those as a starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T17:02:35.633" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-07-08T17:14:09.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young Lady: I saw the same thing when I was a child, the only difference was that I would not interfere when the old man was beating her up. He was usually drunk when the attacks would take place.  She just never knew when to shut up her big mouth. She would pervoke him to the point where he would start to beat her up. I mean the standing on her neck crap. You need to get your mother out of that situation, he may just end up killing her. Not intentionally but none the less dead.  Then you would not have your mother at all. She is not thinking clearly as she would not take the beatings like a wipped dog.  So you need to get her out. Then both of you start life again else where never going back to him.  He and you have had no relationship so no loss there.  Your mother and you both need to get professional help once out of this horrible situation.  You say that she loves him, she needs to know that this is not love but a feeling of failure.  Many people can comment on this family situation but until you take the stand to do something you may be burying her instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9340" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T17:14:09.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12513" CreationDate="2014-07-08T19:59:29.680" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;While on their own, most of the concerns you have are normal for toddlers. However, combined, they suggest he may have some form of Autism. It would probably be a good idea to consult his pediatrician and see about a screening. At 3, he's at a good age to get an accurate result, while still being early enough to have good results from any help/intervention he may need (speech therapy if he's behind, help with social skills as he gets older, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T19:59:29.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12780" CreationDate="2014-07-08T20:58:33.820" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good post, great question. As with others, I hesitate to lay down a definitive yeah or nay, but I'll tell you as a child that was in that position it was better for us to not have a father than to have a truly crappy one. My mom left my dad when I was 18 months old, taking my older sister and I and never looking back. She never really talked about him much, and did not spend time on getting us to think one way or another about him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes while growing up I thought I missed him, but mostly there was just a blank. Sometimes I blamed my mom but it was fleeting and usually just when I was mad at her. As I've always said 'you can't miss what you never had' and that's how it was and still is. Many many years later I met him, and saw for myself what a complete ass he (still) was. I turned around and apologized to my mom and thanked her for not letting us grow up with him. He had a heavy hand and a cold heart, and I'm more than grateful that she kept us away from that. Life is hard enough without having to grow up with a bad parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9343" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T20:58:33.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14294" CreationDate="2014-07-08T21:05:50.053" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ha! My son is 12 and I'm right there with you. Personally I sat him down and set some limits and boundaries. (He was totally embarrassed, it was great!) I told him I'm ok with him growing up, but there will be some boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mine is looking at xxx pron so I laid out very clearly what is and is not ok for him to look at and who its ok to talk to (as far as ages and interaction) at his age. I've let him know that his boundaries will adjust as he gets older but that I expect him to show some self-control and good choices and that I will be watching to see what he does. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It did not hurt to let him know that I'm monitoring his internet and phone uses also. He can have the tech but I have the right to look at what (and who) he's 'interfacing' with lol. Keep in mind he is still at the age where he has to have parental permish to sign up for most apps and sites, plus I pay the phone bill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edited to add - feel free to yank his chain short when needed by taking that digital privilege away. Two week without an ipod/videogame/computer changed my son's whole tune. He was singing the 'you can't tell me what to do cause I'm grown' song, but with a little loss of privileges and occasional reminders he has the 'yes ma'am' tune down pat now :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9343" LastActivityDate="2014-07-08T21:05:50.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14315" CreationDate="2014-07-09T11:28:28.783" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question is about learning but your post is about reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reading you probably want to concentrate on synthetic phonics.  Find a bunch of different books and set aside some time each day for fun reading.  Fun reading can be anything - snuggled up cozy in a pillow-fort den, or active and with lots of motions and acting and voices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get cheap books from charity shops (at least, you can in England.  I recently got books retail priced at £50 for just £5) a wide variety of styles of books give the child plenty of choice of book style (short rhyming text or more complex stories).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure to include some questions - &quot;can you see the cat?&quot; &quot;What's this letter?&quot; &quot;Look at that silly boy!&quot; &quot;Let's sound out this word&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you emphasize the reading you do in daily life.  Every time you read something say &quot;I better read the cooking instructions&quot;; &quot;i wonder what the ingredients are? i'll read the label&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feel free to stumble over the words, and just go back and re-read them.  This is demonstrating practice and effort and that it's fine to make mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading doesn't have to be about books - find a complicated toy they want and have them help you read the box and the instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relentlessly praise effort and achievement.  Model correct pronunciation without saying &quot;no that's wrong&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But be prepared for the fact that some people have a reading difficulty or are just not interested in reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dyslexia is one reading disability an getting a diagnosis can make significant help available, but concentrate on getting help even if the particular difficulty is not dyslexia. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-07-09T11:28:28.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14327" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-09T12:22:12.770" Score="2" ViewCount="107" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child (3 years 10 months) wakes every morning at 5am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is with me he has a midday nap which can last 3 hours. He is clearly tired when he wants to nap, and if he wakes too early from his nap he will return to sleep - sometimes being quite distressed that he woke early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes to nursery 4 days a week and I assume they let him nap there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will start school soon (England: we start formal school very young) and I'm not sure if they'll have napping there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question: would removing his midday nap improve his early waking?  Or would it just create an over-tired little boy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-07-10T12:08:37.353" Title="Napping and early waking?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14327" CreationDate="2014-07-09T13:04:54.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think a three hour nap (while probably wonderful for the parent) is a long period for a child his age to nap. I would start reducing his nap time by a few minutes every day, waking him with an activity he enjoys during quiet times until he's mostly fully awake, and switch over to something more exciting. He will probably go to bed sooner at night and sleep a bit longer. If my child awoke at 5 am, I would not allow that schedule to dictate the family's (I'm a tyrant). I would put a comfy pad and comforter on the floor of my bedroom (assuming your not opposed to a partial family bedroom) and ask him to camp out there, where he might actually fall asleep again. Make sure doors are shut with some sound (bells? Something newer?) to awake you if he tries to wander out of the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't cut out his nap altogether unless the school he is to attend has no quiet time for the children (hard to imagine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-07-09T13:04:54.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6288" CreationDate="2014-07-09T14:51:08.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;CIO (Cry It Out) works perfectly and all schedules are best started as early as possible. I dont have an article to quote, just experience. I swaddle my son and he doesnt roll over/and sleeps throughout the whole night and has since a surprising 2 months. He stays up 90% of the day to make up for that though (haha). About CIO hurting the baby, I firmly believe it all depends. Studies do show that it helps develop thier lungs and helps prevent asthma/related issues. I caught a glimpse of that article. Wish i could find it again, but nonetheless I know this is a &quot;bit&quot; of an old post. Hope whatever you chose helped :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9351" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-07-09T21:33:53.417" LastActivityDate="2014-07-09T21:33:53.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14327" CreationDate="2014-07-09T19:34:24.953" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some kids respond well to adjustments in their sleep schedule, some don't.  That is probably due to levels of certain hormones (Melatonin, Seratonin, etc.), but in any event it's basically inherent to the child.  My first has a hard time with adjustments; my second has a fairly easy time.  Same basic techniques used with both.  I wouldn't assume a change in nap will have a direct impact on sleeping; my oldest sleeps the same whether he naps for 2-3 hours or not at all, as long as the nap isn't right before bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When does your child go to sleep at night?  He may be a 'Ben Franklin' kid ('Early to bed/Early to rise/Makes a man healthy/Wealthy and wise', famously misattributed to Ben).  My eldest is the opposite - goes to bed around 10, would like to wake at 8 if he had a say in it.  If you can work things out with your schedule such that waking at 5am isn't a big deal, I would try to do that.  Odds are it will push back some as he gets older, but some people are just wired to get up early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-07-09T19:34:24.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-07-10T08:32:00.840" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do not allow your mother to be hit anymore.  Call 911 immediately.  Intervene if you can safely stop the abuse.  If you have a camera (smartphone) and are afraid to intervene record the incident.  Do not leave the scene because the police will arrive even if he leaves or takes her with him record his license plate.  The police will give you two options.  Your mother will be advised to press charges.  Which she will likely not and it will drop from there.  Or if the abuse is clear like you say and she is visibly hurt or crying uncontrollably.  Then the police have the right to press charges on behalf of the state.  If your father finds out you are trying to capture him he may change his behavior temporarily to avoid trouble or imprisonment or may even act like nothing happened when the police arrive.  Trying to persuading the police people can be very convincing or they can outright disregard the law because of loopholes or abuse of power.  But I know from personal experience regardless of what the media has portrayed the officers will seek an immediate arrest.  If he is manipulative you will have to abide by the law if you want him arrested for sure.  Let go of this sense of &quot;care&quot; for him.  He will be alright.  He will not be beaten by the police.  But he will spend time in jail or prison.  I have found and know police are very rational and respectful in the case of physical violence.  This is not a casual offense or matter that will resolve itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9358" LastEditorUserId="9358" LastEditDate="2014-07-10T09:30:08.433" LastActivityDate="2014-07-10T09:30:08.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-07-10T08:37:50.013" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the above advice.  You always need to protect your mother since you know this is happening.  You don't know the fear she feels because you are on the outside looking in and I feel that this happened because she stepped in to save you on several occasions from his controlling ways and anger.  You may feel immediately remorseful and scared but be vigilante.  If he has been abusing her likely when he is released from jail or prison he will be back to harming her because this type of abuse will occur again because she is afraid to call the police.  He will immediately seek revenge because his life will be ruined as it should be.  I know this is what you are the most afraid about.  A mandatory restraining order should be put into place by the court system.  But that won't scare him away if he's as bad as you say he is.  If he comes back to apologize do not allow it.  Call the Police again and he will be immediately arrested if found on the premises.  Stay away from him in public as well.  Do not allow him to persuade you or convince you that things have changed or get yourself arrested from assault (like I said earlier he may be very manipulative).  Trust your gut feeling.  You can also report anonymously to your local police department through a &quot;crime prevention&quot; or &quot;crime stoppers&quot; line.  If you need internet access go to your public library.  If you need to report anonymously and are afraid of being labeled make an excuse such as work or school and leave.  I know how fear can control you but be strong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9358" LastEditorUserId="9358" LastEditDate="2014-07-10T09:27:28.380" LastActivityDate="2014-07-10T09:27:28.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12513" CreationDate="2014-07-10T08:44:49.480" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is absolutely nothing wrong with kids lining up cars, crying when things aren't the way they expect them, or being amused/intrigued by the reality of having a physical body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously... try this experiment right now. Set your hand down on the table. Move a single finger up away from the table and concentrate on feeling how the nearby muscles pull across the surface of the back of the hand and the nearby fingers. It feels &lt;em&gt;weird&lt;/em&gt; if you stop and pay attention to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that he can appreciate this kind of experience and you cannot is not a problem with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9357" LastActivityDate="2014-07-10T08:44:49.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14327" CreationDate="2014-07-10T12:08:37.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Son (also 3 years and 10 months) started getting out of bed and going to sleep around 22:00. In the proccess he often waked his younger brother (1 year 6 months). In the morning he sleeps to around 6:45&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To solve this we reduced his nap to max 1 hour, and wake him up then. This is not ideal around dinner time he is very tired and sometimes falls asleep at the table. But at night he stays in his bed which is more important to us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not fun to go through but in the long run it's better for everyone. We discussed this with the nursery he attends, and when we explained it they also wake him up after 1 hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2178" LastActivityDate="2014-07-10T12:08:37.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14314" CreationDate="2014-07-10T19:35:15.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I've been reading about EC in preparation for my son's birth, but I haven't tried it myself.  Since nobody else has answered the question, I'll try to summarize what I've read for you.  Hopefully others with more practical experience will chime in later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic idea of EC is that babies are aware of what's going on in their body and can communicate that information.  Think about hunger: babies don't go from &quot;completely content&quot; to &quot;screaming with hunger&quot; right away.  There are intermediate stages where the child might start sucking on a fist or acting a bit fussy.  The particular signs vary by child, but a caregiver can usually pick up the signs and offer the breast/bottle before the baby reaches the screaming stage.  Timing can help as well; if you know the baby usually gets hungry every X hours, you'll start looking for the signals when close to X hours have passed since the last feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EC extends this idea to elimination: it suggests that babies can tell when their bladder or bowels are starting to get full and will indicate this somehow.  If you notice the signs, you can offer a potty.  Timing can help here too to the extent that babies often go at the same time of day, e.g. after a feeding.  Note that the baby's signals will change over time as the baby gets older and can communicate more easily.  People who are interested in baby sign language can use it to give the baby another way to signal, making EC easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the &quot;particular squat position&quot;, there's no one position.  Young babies will need to be held over the potty somehow, while older children need less or no support.  For children that need to be held, there are a variety of different positions described in EC books and websites that you can try; not all children like all positions.  The position might also vary depending on the toilet itself.  If you want to use an adult-sized public toilet when you're out of the house, you might need a different approach than if you're at home using a miniature potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I liked the book &quot;The Diaper-Free Baby&quot; by Christine Gross-Loh if you want to learn more.  Googling will also lead you to a ton of useful websites and forums like &lt;a href=&quot;http://diaperfreebaby.org/index.php?module=article&amp;amp;view=8&amp;amp;MMN_position=237:14:224&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7185" LastActivityDate="2014-07-10T19:35:15.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14265" CreationDate="2014-07-10T22:32:18.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a similar set of boys (3 and 15 months), and the way we dealt with it, in addition to largely following Ida's advice above, was to emphasize to the older boy that the younger boy needs toys, also.  Largely this comes in two flavors:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The older boy is playing with a large set of toys (cars, trains, etc.), where there are numerous individual elements.  The younger boy wants one.  We remind the older boy that he has a lot of cars/trains/etc., and that if his younger brother wants one, he needs to share.  If the specific item is particularly valuable to him, we remind him that he can offer to trade a different equivalent item with his younger brother; a 15 month old usually doesn't care &lt;em&gt;which&lt;/em&gt; car he has so long as he has one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The older boy is playing with something (say, blocks) in the middle of the floor, and the younger boy keeps pestering him and taking things.  We remind the older boy that if he wants to play with his things unmolested, he should find a more out of the way location to play.  If he is going to play in the middle of things, his younger brother is allowed to play as well with the toy.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These both work fairly well now, the first better than the second, probably due to time (we have been doing it longer).  He usually comes up with trades on his own now, although it's still challenging.  I anticipate it being challenging for another year or two, until his younger brother has better social and communication skills, but it's usually manageable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-07-10T22:32:18.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14344" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-11T13:52:11.633" Score="6" ViewCount="390" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've just moved to Germany from London. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 4 years old son, who loved going to the kindergarten in London, seems to have a lot of trouble settling in to the German kindergarten. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Language is not an issue, and he is fluent in German.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've just received a letter from a Waldorf kindergarten that they would accept him, but we are afraid that if we decide to switch him, it could be stressful for him again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it worth it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why would you strongly recommend the switch?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it helps, our boy is very active, with extra batteries attached :) He'd rather play football all day long than sit down and draw a picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would Waldorf be a good fit for this type of kid?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="132" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-07-11T14:02:16.080" LastActivityDate="2019-02-11T15:34:53.453" Title="Would switching to a Waldorf kindergarten be worth the potential stress to our active pre-schooler?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4704" CreationDate="2014-07-11T14:07:56.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use Nelsons teething sachets - they seem to be doing the trick now for the last 2-3 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically just tap the contents of the sachets in babies mouth (dont worry, they wont choke or gag - the contents will land on their tongue and gums) - baby will then chew the little &quot;crystals/granules&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They seem to do two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They distract baby from the pain by giving them something to chew and feel in their mouth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They sooth the pain (which is what you want)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These work much better for us than bonjela and other &quot;rub on&quot; ointments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9367" LastActivityDate="2014-07-11T14:07:56.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14344" CreationDate="2014-07-11T16:01:23.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure anyone other than you could really say what your son specifically would be a good fit for, but Waldorf (and similarly at this stage, Montessori) schools are likely a good fit for an active child, as they encourage that activity and the learning that comes from it.  I'll leave out the discussion of the benefits/drawbacks of Waldorf in general and the other issues some people have with the teaching method, as it seems off topic for this question - but if you haven't researched Waldorf thoroughly, you should; some people love it, some people have significant issues with elements of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't be too concerned about stress from adjustment.  Kids get better at adjusting the more they do it (up to a point!), and an adjustment at this point (fairly early on, from how you describe it) shouldn't be too much of a problem for him in the long term.  I would suggest involving him in the discussion, if you can; consider taking him to the school on a 'visit' for an hour or two, if the school will allow it, and asking him if he likes it.  At 4 he probably can't fully form or express a complete opinion, but you may be able to get some signals at least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-07-11T16:01:23.430" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14347" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14361" CreationDate="2014-07-11T23:52:27.567" Score="2" ViewCount="405" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read that it's normal for babies to go many days without doing a poo once they first start eating solids. I'm just wondering &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;at what point should a parent be concerned that their baby hasn't&#xA;gone?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are there any signs that I should look out for?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I should be doing during this time?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4625" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-09T16:23:58.493" LastActivityDate="2019-01-09T16:23:58.493" Title="Baby started solids and stopped pooing. When should I be worried?" Tags="|infant|solids|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14348" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-12T16:13:58.623" Score="15" ViewCount="59047" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have noticed that at a certain point (some) children seek solitude to poop. It seems to happen overnight- one day the child is perfectly content filling his diaper in the living room, surrounded by his brothers, while playing with his cars. The next day he's hiding under the bed or simply going into the next room to do his business. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize not all toddlers do this- one of my three boys never did this (and interestingly enough, continued to refuse to acknowledge his urge to move his bowels and continued to poop his pants until...well, when it's been 5 years without incident we'll say it's over, but that's an issue I've discussed in another post) I've also noticed that it doesn't coincide with a readiness to use the potty. Hiding to poop seems to occur at least several months before pooping on the potty is an achievable goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm interested to know what kind of cognitive milestone this behavior signals. Also, I'd like to know if my current approach- which is to attempt to intercept the disappearing acts and redirect to the potty in lieu of a lonely closet, or if reasonable, to put the potty in the preferred hiding spot- is the best method in light of whatever developmental change is occurring? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2023-06-28T22:23:26.257" Title="Why do toddlers hide while having a bowel movement?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|cognitive-development|milestones|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2014-07-12T16:16:36.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both pedaling and balancing are skills that need practice. In The Netherlands (where I live), most kids start with balancing bikes before they can pedal. They later learn to pedal on a tricycle, and eventually combine both skills. This was the case for my son, who, at 3 years and 3 months sat on a pedaling bike for the first time, and could immediately ride it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that there is no huge difference between a tricycle and training wheels, frankly. Both serve to let the kid practice pedaling without falling over. If your son has a good sense of balance, I don't think training wheels for a short while will particularly hinder him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-07-12T16:16:36.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3742" CreationDate="2014-07-12T16:34:03.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think play dates are important. I think family time is. I think kids will ask for them when they're ready whether it's 5 or 10 years old.  A loving family carries kids into emotional health and maturity.  Friends are good for an independence of sorts and sometimes great fulfillment but kids need mature role modelling. Most kids I see fight a lot during &#xA;Play dates.  Parents make bizarre requests.  Not a social more I want to get into. &#xA;My kids like playing with each other. I did one play date where the sweet boy literally &#xA;Touched and overturned my whole house.  How could I tell the mom? No thanks &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9370" LastActivityDate="2014-07-12T16:34:03.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14351" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-12T17:14:56.393" Score="1" ViewCount="1828" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lately while holding my little boy, he's been pushing his face into my chest and neck, presumably to soothe the itch of teething. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, particularly when he's tired, he moves very fast and with a lot of force. More than once he's hit his mouth or nose off of my collar bone, and somehow, I don't think it's good and I don't want it to continue, or I'd like to lessen the rough impact on my bony collar bone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm hoping for suggestions either for something practical that I can wear to make it less hard, or for ways to encourage him to change this behaviour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I lessen the danger of injury to my son when he jerks forward suddenly to bury his head in my torso? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4877" LastActivityDate="2014-07-13T00:24:13.203" Title="How can I make sure my infant doesn't get injured on my collar bone when he suddenly jerks forward?" Tags="|infant|safety|teething|moving|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14352" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-12T22:24:09.553" Score="9" ViewCount="1263" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13-year-old son had been highly athletic his entire life. About 18 months ago we noticed him losing strength in his legs. Over time it has gotten worse and he cannot run normally anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has lost muscle in his hips (his hip bones will not stay in place because of lack of muscle), the muscle that holds his knee cap in place shows signs of atrophy, etc. We have seen an ortho doctor (did MRI for tutors) nothing, went to neurologist and had testing done on his nerves, everything came back fine, went to geneticist everything came back normal, went to rheumatologist, his joints are fine.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one can tell us why he is losing muscle. We are at a loss. His arms do not seem to be affected, only his torso and thighs, and now knees. We are desperate for answers to help our son. Physical therapy seems to maintain muscle but not improve him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone ever had this with their child?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9371" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-02T14:08:02.637" LastActivityDate="2018-11-02T14:08:02.637" Title="How to help our 13-year-old whose leg muscles atrophy?" Tags="|teen|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2018-11-02T21:46:43.707" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14351" CreationDate="2014-07-13T00:24:13.203" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies have been doing this since the beginning of time. They are flexible little beings, and any discomfort will likely be minor and short-lived. But if you are concerned, keep a burp cloth (cloth diaper or nappy) over your shoulder whenever you hold him. It protects your clothes as well!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-07-13T00:24:13.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8257" CreationDate="2014-07-13T02:12:45.877" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is an extremely important detail left out of these conversations on motion sensor monitors: the care that must be taken when setting them up and adjusting the sensitivity setting knob on the back of the unit (for Angelcare monitors).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people treat these as &quot;plug-and-play&quot;, leaving them at the factory setting or setting them at the typical recommended setting of 3.  In fact, establishing the precisely correct sensitivity setting for each individual setting is crucial.  Mattress type, presence of ceiling fans, bedding, baby weight, baby age, etc. - all these require different sensitivity settings.  Further, as the baby grows and as changes are made to bedding, the sensitivity must be recalibrated.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found the Angelcare motion monitor to be extremely reliable, accurate and trustworthy, and I have no doubt that it could save baby's lives, but When correctly setup and regularly maintained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recalibration is done by moving the sensor to it lowest sensitivity and then stepwise gradually increasing the sensitivity until actual breathing movement (combined with room air movement) is detected (no more warning beeps).  Then you start at the other end with the highest sensitivity and gradually reduce the sensitivity until you lose the movement detection (the warning beep starts).  All the while, of course, you have to keep the monitor from going into full alarm after the warning beep by turning it off, then on again.  Eventually, you should end up at a sensitivity level that is somewhere between these two threshold levels.  Then you have to sit and wait and watch.  In the morning, lift the baby off the mattress and time how long it takes for the alarm to sound.  If it's much more than 20 seconds, then your setting is wrong.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do all this calibration work and still get apparent false alarms, then you have due cause to ask your pediatrician for an order to get a professional home heart and respiration monitor (with chest sensors) to gather more data and see what's really going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9373" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-01-30T10:14:42.257" LastActivityDate="2016-01-30T10:14:42.257" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14347" CreationDate="2014-07-13T05:19:35.413" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy has gone a few days without pooing once or twice in his 8 months of life. I think up to 4 days at most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've asked doctors about it, and they say it's not unusual, and everything should be fine &lt;strong&gt;as long as they are still passing liquids regularly&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think about it for a moment, look at how fast your baby is growing, that size is coming from somewhere. My son is about twice the size he was when he was born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is, consult a doctor after 3 or 4 days of not pooing, &lt;strong&gt;if they're still regularly passing liquids&lt;/strong&gt;. If they aren't, consult a doctor immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4877" LastEditorUserId="4877" LastEditDate="2017-08-28T19:19:38.630" LastActivityDate="2017-08-28T19:19:38.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14352" CreationDate="2014-07-13T06:54:01.097" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you seen an endocrinologist? It could be diabetic amyotrophy. It's a fairly rare complication of diabetes mellitus, and especially rare in people under 30 though it does happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the article &lt;em&gt;Diagnosis and management of diabetic amyotrophy&lt;/em&gt; (Geriatric Medicine (UK), 2010):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Proximal muscle weakness and wasting in quadriceps, hip adductors, and&#xA;  iliopsoas muscles is characteristic... The knee-jerk reflex is absent,&#xA;  with ankle jerks commonly preserved; however, ankle jerks also may be&#xA;  absent with underlying distal symmetrical polyneuropathy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is an article about a 16-year-old with the disease in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2448931/?page=1&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Ulster Medical Journal&lt;/a&gt;. The boy experienced increasing clumsiness, and doctors noted wasting of thighs and calves, hyper-extension of knees, inability to stand on tiptoes, and absent tendon reflexes. The boy had marked improvement with control of his diabetes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this will be helpful. Best wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Additional articles:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diabetic amyotrophy in an adolescent responsive to intravenous immunoglobulin (Jose Americo Fernandes Filho, et al.) Muscle &amp;amp; Nerve, Volume 32, Issue 6, pages 818–820, December 2005. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prevalence of Diabetes Complications in Adolescents With Type 2 Compared With Type 1 Diabetes (Maike C. Eppens, et al.) Diabetes Care June 2006 vol. 29 no. 6 1300-1306. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diabetic neuropathy in children and adolescents (Daniela Trotta, et al.) Pediatric Diabetes, Volume 5, Issue 1, pages 44–57, March 2004.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2014-07-13T18:04:48.160" LastActivityDate="2014-07-13T18:04:48.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14314" CreationDate="2014-07-13T10:02:41.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did/am doing EC with both my daughters.  One is 2 and mostly potty trained, the other is 6 months old now with some #1s and nearly all #2s in the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 'squat position' you're reading about is &lt;strong&gt;some variation of the child sitting on your hands, with a clear area in between for the pees and poos to fall down&lt;/strong&gt;.  Yes, the position does change as they grow up.  However, although I'm about to describe them in a complicated-sounding way, I never read a book about them, nor did I ever really think about the fact that the position changed until now.  It will become obvious, don't worry!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Newborn: over a basin, baby girl lies in a cradle hold, and both my hands held up her legs.  No idea what you'd do for a boy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can hold up head: standing facing a toilet (ie backwards), baby sits with one of my hands under each leg with us reclined slightly, OR me straddling a toilet forwards, baby sits with one of my arms supporting her legs and the other arm preventing her body from slipping forward.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can sit: straddling a toilet forwards, one of my hands under each leg, resting on the toilet seat (children get heavy!).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toilet training or decent core control: As above, with or without without my hands.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with what @imi said, healthy humans generally don't dribble pee and poo continuously, all day long.  As in adults, the bowels and bladders of children fill up slowly putting more pressure on the muscles to stay closed, and when they are too full the muscles release.  They're smaller and release more frequently in children is all.  EC is about learning when these muscles are feeling close to 'too full' (behaviour and communication occurs at this point), then allowing them to release in an appropriate receptacle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I don't think it's the squat position that &lt;em&gt;causes&lt;/em&gt; the child to let go, but it's a helpful and useful cue, if their muscles are about to release anyway, to remind them what to do next.  It's also not the only cue - there's the swswswsw sound (or whatever consonants you prefer to simulate a stream of water :)).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6277" LastEditorUserId="6277" LastEditDate="2014-07-13T11:02:07.013" LastActivityDate="2014-07-13T11:02:07.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2677" CreationDate="2014-07-13T11:59:54.447" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;#1, #2 and #7, three you haven't done, are what made the BIG difference for our little girl (2 years old).  #8 really depends on your definition of criticising/punishing, but certainly whatever you do, don't be angry about it.  We don't discipline for toiletting accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toiletting is now entirely her responsibility.  We assist her for aspects she cannot developmentally do yet, but she must take initiative.  This means:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We teach her individual skills such as putting on pants and how to pull tissue off the roll (one skill at a time, not all at once).  Once she knows how to do the skill, from then on we wait for her to do it completely by herself before she moves on to the next part of the process.  It's okay if it takes an extremely long time, or the floor gets wetted twice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She cleans up accidents.  If she goes in her pants, she needs to change herself. If she wets the bed, she changes herself and the bed (I lift the mattress).  If she wets the carpet, she changes herself and cleans the carpet.  She learns some great skills and wetting herself is now a huge disincentive. #2s are different but the basic principle is the same.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We make life easier without taking away her responsibility.  We use waterproof bed protectors. We have towels and spray bottles of vinegar in accessible places.  We give her absorbent pants to wear.  We have the potty seat available at all times.  It's great that she is highly verbal and can ask for help very well, which we always give in some form without actually absolving her of responsibility (cuddles, time, explanation etc).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We respect her understanding of her own body in the hope that she will respect her body cues too.  We might ask her if she is involved in a very engrossing activity or before going out but if she says no we no longer ask repeatedly or to a timed schedule.  Similarly if she gets halfway undressed and then says that she doesn't need to go, we respect that too, encourage to put her things on again and we go back to our previous activity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6277" LastActivityDate="2014-07-13T11:59:54.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14344" CreationDate="2014-07-13T13:26:40.067" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, while certain pedagogical ideas appeal to me more than others, the personality of those who implement them is at least as important as the underlying ideas. I learned most about a kindergarten by just walking up to their garden's fence on a sunny afternoon and watching the caretakers interact with the children. Do that at both kindergartens and then ask yourself: Which people would you rather entrust your child with? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to your specific situation: If your son has a hard time settling in, you should try to find out if there's something specific that's hindering the process of adjusting. Maybe he doesn't get along with one the caretakers? Maybe there's a kid he doesn't like? Maybe he could switch to another group? Or is it just that it's a new and strange surrounding? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-07-14T18:56:24.160" LastActivityDate="2014-07-14T18:56:24.160" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14347" CreationDate="2014-07-13T22:42:52.313" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Constipation in infants starting solid foods is not uncommon, and may not, in fact, be constipation. If your child is not uncomfortable (no obvious abdominal pain, crying, arching his back, attempting to pass stool without success), and is passing soft stool without difficulty every 5 days or so, it's fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, on the other hand, any of the above are occurring, or if the infant is passing hard stool, you should mention this to your doctor. You can try adding non-absorbable sugars to his diet - pear/prune juice, pureed peas and prunes, and offer extra water as well as continuing breast feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/infant-constipation/faq-20058519&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt; has good information on infant constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-07-15T21:26:40.453" LastActivityDate="2014-07-15T21:26:40.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2014-07-14T01:45:51.723" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you already have a bike you could try something like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bikekidshop.com/trailer-cycles-e-694.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;these&lt;/a&gt;. I'm not saying you should buy from this shop, or those brands I that link, but it gives you an idea of what I mean.  We have three boys and my middle child, age 4, can ride a bike pretty well now, but did initially struggle with pedaling. As such, his stamina is not very good, and when he gets tired he puts his feet down and tries to walk his bike while still on the seat. It sounds awkward right? Because it is. We got him a tandem trailer because he's too big for the &quot;baby&quot; trailer. Indeed, having him plus my youngest plus the trailer is too much for out of shape middle aged me to haul!  With the tandem trailer, he pedals himself as much as he can, at his own pace and can rest if he needs to, without slowing us down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that it's not exactly a perfect solution, since your child would be able to not be &quot;forced&quot; to pedal. Perhaps being able to watch and imitate someone pedaling, while experiencing the ride without having to concentrate on balancing, would be a good environment for him to practice?  We love our tandem trailer and nobody else suggested it so I figured I'd add my two cents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-07-14T01:45:51.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14352" CreationDate="2014-07-14T06:03:21.227" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Source:  My daughter has had several hospital stays in three metropolitan areas, due to her cerebral palsy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you ever stopped to wonder why parents have so much control over medical decisions, when they are not the experts?  Two reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Doctors' ability varies much more than they would like you to believe.  Diagnosing a rare condition is extremely difficult, and not all doctors are up to the task.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents are the only ones who get the big picture.  Specialists take a very narrow view of a problem.  We have literally had two specialists give us exact opposite advice concerning our daughter, on multiple occasions.  Only parents are equipped to reconcile those different viewpoints.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does that knowledge help you in this particular circumstance?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get second opinions from different doctors in the same specialty.  You might have to drive to a larger city to get better caliber doctors.  We live in a metro area of 400,000 and only use local doctors for routine care.  We drive two hours for anything requiring a hospital, if it's at all possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to find a cross-disciplinary clinic.  Our daughter's neurologist has a thing where we go all day, he and two or three other specialists all examine her, then they get together and decide together what to recommend.  Having all the specialists in one place helps ensure they cover all the bases.  It's possible there's something they all assume someone else has already checked.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Become an expert on your child's condition, and actively participate.  Don't just assume they have covered every possibility.  Do your own research on possible causes, and sit down with your doctors and ask if and why each possible condition was eliminated.  Then do follow up research and go back again with better questions, like &quot;You said he doesn't have X because of Y, but my research says X can happen without Y, and his other symptoms seem to fit really well.  Do you have corroborating reasons to eliminate X?&quot;  You can't replace the doctor's expertise, but by being a sounding board and double-checking you can trigger paths of investigation.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be assertive, and follow your gut.  You are in the perfect position to think outside the box, because you don't work in the box like the doctors do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Specifically ask each of your doctors who they would see next.  As part of their training they do rotations in various disciplines, so they have a pretty good idea of who is good at what.  Some doctors have a hard time admitting something is above their head, though, so you have to be assertive about asking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask nurses who they would take their child to.  Nurses bear the brunt of complaints against sub par doctors, because they have more patient contact.  They change jobs more often, and they talk to each other in the same way we might complain about our boss.  Same goes for therapists.  One time we fired our neurosurgeon and transferred to a different hospital, a decision which the nurses wholeheartedly supported, and which turned out to be one of the best medical decisions we ever made.  We wish we would have brought it up sooner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When a doctor says something is a last resort, like the biopsy, get a list of everything they would like to try first, push to get it done quickly, and hold them to the list.  If they want to add something to the list later, make sure they have a good reason for it, like a follow up to test results that weren't available when the list was first made.  Sometimes doctors kind of fish around hoping to avoid something uncomfortable, and the parent must insist in order to move forward.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Doctors have an annoying habit of scheduling one test at a time, so by the time you get the test and a follow up appointment, it's a pretty long feedback cycle.  Try to push for multiple tests in parallel, unless the doctor can give a good reason to hold off.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your son has one giant symptom, which makes it easy sometimes to neglect the smaller symptoms.  Take note of those and ask the doctors if they might be relevant.  Some symptoms are much more serious for very ill children.  For example, most parents don't think much of a mild fever, but for my daughter we often end up in the hospital for a spinal tap when she gets a fever.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring your husband or other trusted adult to important appointments, and write things down and/or ask for written handouts.  Doctors sometimes deluge you with information.  I'm amazed at how often one of us will miss something that the other catches.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-07-17T14:49:13.660" LastActivityDate="2014-07-17T14:49:13.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14364" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-14T07:24:27.330" Score="6" ViewCount="141986" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I didn't know we're pregnant and in a weekend fun with friends we smoked a bit of weed - we don't usually smoke weed or cigarettes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not something we're regulary doing as I said, but how bad to the fetus can it be ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9379" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-07-14T15:23:35.353" LastActivityDate="2015-11-25T09:21:12.917" Title="Will smoking weed during first week of being pregnant be harmful to my baby?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|drugs|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14364" CreationDate="2014-07-14T15:22:19.757" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;During the first two weeks of pregnancy there is very little exchange of substances between the mother and the embryo. And the pregnancy, by definition, actually starts at the moment the woman supposed to have her period. So one may say that the first three weeks are actually quite safe in regards to drinking or other substances use or abuse. After that, however, starts the most dangerous period for drinking, smoking, etc., with differentiation and organogenesis possibly being severely negatively influenced by harmful substances. Therefore – drinking or smoking shortly after conceiving a child is less harmful to the baby than doing it after two or three weeks. So you and your baby should be fine. Don't worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this does not mean that one should use these two weeks to drink and take drugs because one won't be able to do so for the next 9 months. The risk is always there!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have checked the pregnancy literature I have at home. There are hints that what I wrote is true, but it is not stated explicitely. Perhaps because there is no conclusive research... Or because authors feared it would make some women use drugs and drink alcohol in that time, which is still somewhat bad idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, I have found some references:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1]: (about alcohol) &lt;em&gt;In the first two weeks following fertilization, excessive alcohol consumption does not generally have a negative effect on the zygote and emerging blastocyst (pre-embryo)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[2]: (critical growth period) &lt;em&gt;In most successful pregnancies, the embryo implants 8 to 10 days after ovulation. [...] (after that) Rapid growth occurs and the embryo's main external features begin to take form. [...] During this critical period (most of the first trimester), the developing embryo is also susceptible to toxic exposures&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1: &lt;a href=&quot;http://embryo.asu.edu/pages/developmental-timeline-alcohol-induced-birth-defects&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://embryo.asu.edu/pages/developmental-timeline-alcohol-induced-birth-defects&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenatal_development#Embryonic_period&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenatal_development#Embryonic_period&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="4659" LastEditDate="2015-11-25T09:21:12.917" LastActivityDate="2015-11-25T09:21:12.917" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2014-07-14T18:43:48.300" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is how I finally got my son to ride a bike:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Found a gentle grass slope.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Started at the top with the pedals removed and the seat low enough so that he could rest his feet on the grass.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sent him down a few times and gradually raised the saddle so his feet were off the ground.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once he had his balance I put the pedals back, so he could now freewheel down with his feet on them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As he came to the bottom of the slope and the bike began to slow - shouted 'Pedal, pedal, pedal.' &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a while of doing this he had the confidence to start the bike from stationary. It was a lot of fun to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9381" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-07-14T18:51:08.567" LastActivityDate="2014-07-14T18:51:08.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14315" CreationDate="2014-07-15T05:06:34.817" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you got her checked for &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotopic_sensitivity_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Scotopic syndrome&lt;/a&gt;(Light Sensitivity)? I am reading this book &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.co.in/books/about/Teaching_Outside_the_Box.html?id=WrsO0CqAFfkC&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Teaching Outside the box&lt;/a&gt; and according to this, this is a fairly common problem which hinders people from reading. This book has 2 entire chapters on reading related problems which the author experienced in her teaching career.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://irlen.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is more info. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9384" LastEditorUserId="9384" LastEditDate="2014-07-15T11:44:19.137" LastActivityDate="2014-07-15T11:44:19.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14370" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-15T19:25:29.900" Score="2" ViewCount="326" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am going to a amusement park at the end of the month with my youth group. I will be in the car with 4 other girls and 6 boys. I need some game ideas to keep the boys busy so they won't pick on me. I'm only 14 and would need some games to play with the girls too. Thanks for your help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9389" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2014-07-15T21:32:49.610" LastActivityDate="2014-07-16T02:08:40.397" Title="Long Car rides with teenagers" Tags="|teen|socialization|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2014-07-16T13:02:25.050" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14370" CreationDate="2014-07-16T02:08:40.397" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some favorites we used to play:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_(game)&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ghost&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;License Plate Game: trying to spot plates from as many states as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alphabet Game: Everyone tries to be first to find letters of alphabet in order on signs, bumper stickers, etc. Once a word is used by someone, no one else can use that word for any other letters. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4235" LastActivityDate="2014-07-16T02:08:40.397" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14286" CreationDate="2014-07-16T11:54:15.450" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did 0-3 months on the top hole, 3-6 months on the next hole and so on moving every three months until I reached the bottom. I don't think I read that in a manual anywhere. It's just a timeline I thought was reasonable so I have no idea of it's the &quot;correct&quot; thing to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9391" LastEditorUserId="9391" LastEditDate="2014-07-16T12:12:13.510" LastActivityDate="2014-07-16T12:12:13.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14374" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-16T12:14:18.993" Score="4" ViewCount="217" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 22 months old and this is his sleeping routine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wake up around 9 AM for the morning&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take his nap around 1:30-2:00 PM&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Usually wake up from his nap around 4:00-4:30 PM&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This routine is going on for a while now. He then goes out for the night at around 9:30-10 PM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried putting him down even earlier but he does not take it, any suggestion on what I can do to try make him go to sleep earlier?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9392" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2014-07-16T12:55:08.047" LastActivityDate="2014-07-24T18:15:20.137" Title="How to get my son to sleep earlier" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14374" CreationDate="2014-07-16T18:47:41.800" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect you would like your son to sleep earlier so you have some time with your spouse, or &quot;me time&quot;, which I totally understand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child isn't going to sleep if he/she isn't tired. Your boy's getting a good amount of sleep for his age, so cutting down on his sleep isn't the way to go, but adjusting the pattern can be done. Simply wake him up earlier, and bring his nap back by an hour. If you bring his wake time back by 2 hours then you'll bring his bedtime back 2 hours and he'll still be getting the sleep he needs. I suggest you do it in increments, wake him at 8:00 for a couple of days, then 7:00, it will probably make for less grouchiness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2014-07-16T18:47:41.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1670" CreationDate="2014-07-16T18:52:19.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talking to baby and interacting is extremely important. Even though he is 2 months old, it will help him with his emotional and language development as he grows up. Speech delay is one of the common problems parents face when their kids do not start speaking by the time they are 18 months or so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lot of benefits of talking to your baby, when they are still babies. Here are some of the reasons why you should start talking to him right away!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thewomentalk.com/why-is-it-important-to-talk-to-your-baby&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Benefits of talking to babies&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9396" LastActivityDate="2014-07-16T18:52:19.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14378" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-06-13T16:44:43.030" Score="2" ViewCount="309" Body="&lt;p&gt;One time, when my wife was doing homework with my 6-year-old son, he did not want to do something so she couldn't take it and she slightly yelled at him. I sat down with him and he told me that &quot;He's no longer friends with her&quot;. Why do you think he said that? What was his intention? And in Psychology, is there a term for this trait?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6166" OwnerDisplayName="SBel" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-07-17T12:36:40.963" LastActivityDate="2014-07-17T12:36:40.963" Title="Is there a formal term for a &quot;I'm not your friend anymore&quot; trait?" Tags="|primary-schooler|arguments|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14378" CreationDate="2014-06-13T21:50:37.800" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The best defense is a good offense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a statement reflecting a trait called &lt;em&gt;self preservation&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not a psychologist, but a Family Physician, so please take everything I say as theory, not gospel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your 6 year old son is dependent on his mother (and you) for a lot of very fundamental things: food, clothing, shelter, safety, alleviation of pain/suffering, love, acceptance/maintenance of trust, belonging, instruction, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is likely that your son felt (deservedly or undeservedly) betrayed by his mother when she &quot;slightly yelled at him&quot;. Anger from someone on whom you depend upon for love, acceptance and safety is a very threatening experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son's statement was one of self-preservation, of distancing himself from his mother so that, should this breach of trust happen again, it will not hurt so much. The problem is that it doesn't really work, especially at his age. He is not old enough yet to separate emotionally from his mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not uncommon for a young child to say things like your son did. The most painful (but not uncommon) exclamation is &quot;I don't love you anymore.&quot; It's useless and counterproductive to point out to the child how untrue or painful that is; he &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; feel something that made him say it. The best response is to say (and show) that in spite of his statement, or the feelings behind it, you still love him, and will continue to do so. (Reading &lt;em&gt;The Runaway Bunny&lt;/em&gt; should impart a bit of wisdom here.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does it have a formal name? I don't know. When you withdraw from your wife after a fight, does it have a formal name? I just call it &lt;em&gt;withdrawal&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" OwnerDisplayName="anongoodnurse" LastActivityDate="2014-06-13T21:50:37.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1169" CreationDate="2014-07-17T03:49:06.267" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Linguists usually point out that amongst the accepted language learning drivers for kids  you will find &quot;input&quot; and &quot;output&quot;, as well as &quot;motivation&quot; and &quot;social interaction&quot;.&#xA;Input is what the kid hears, in terms of quantity (as you mentioned) but also quality (which also includes diversity).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid's brain is a statistical processor. If you make mistakes and they are not spotted by your kid, she will record them as proper language and use them in the future. Your accent will be used a reference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another drawback is that your kid gets much less input in the language that you are NOT talking to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not recommend that you speak in a language that is not your own native language. At the same time I would strongly encourage you to find other ways to make your kid bilingual - indeed there are obvious linguistic and non linguistic advantages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can check out www.vivaling.com/blog for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bernard&#xA;(disclaimer: I work with VivaLing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9397" LastActivityDate="2014-07-17T03:49:06.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4295" CreationDate="2014-07-17T03:55:43.797" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two things :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;firstly, do maintain and develop your child's Czech language. The ability to hear (and subsequently produce) the subtle sound contrasts correctly vanishes with the critical phonetic period... at the age of 1. So you should not miss it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;secondly, for alphabetical languages such as English and Czech, I recommend you just wait until your child has grasped alphabetical reading altogether. In other words, do not try to do it before English. But as soon as the child starts to read in English, you will be surprised to see that the child seems to pick up the two almost simultaneously. No need to wait much longer before introducing the child to Czech phonetics.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find more about critical phonetic period on www.vivaling.com/perceiving-sound-contrasts-1-year-age-never/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regards,&#xA;Bernard&#xA;(disclaimer : I work with VivaLing)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9397" LastEditorUserId="9397" LastEditDate="2014-07-18T09:09:27.147" LastActivityDate="2014-07-18T09:09:27.147" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14385" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14489" CreationDate="2014-07-17T09:41:51.333" Score="17" ViewCount="5474" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's getting in very deep very quickly with a boy who has been in social care a fair bit over his life and has anger management issues, she's not even fully part of our household yet. Please help (advice, resources, but can't really afford books atm.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Big backstory here - apologies but the context is probably relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me and partner are in north of UK and over that 'young adult' stage of our lives. We've been together since we were her age and helped raise my youngest sister who is gonna move in with us. She's already, before we've had a chance to lay the ground rules, been in town and met a few people who live close to us so is already socialising with them. It seems history repeats itself as she's babysitting (unpaid) with this guy who has very young brothers and sisters, to &lt;em&gt;help him&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad was abusive and left my mum when my sister was about six. My mum put unfair responsibility on me. I in turn roped in my partner more and more and this damaged both of us and our relationship (we're good now, but are constantly working on us). Sister has suffered a lot and lost grades etc. etc. She's with us to give her the environment that she deserves to get herself on track (with our help), college is setup and she's heading there in September and will have a heavy workload. She wasn't disciplined at mums but was at the same time treated really badly. Bad combo! Her attendance was worst in the year until her last year when I basically said enough is enough and took control with the school and mum. For the past six or seven years the relationship between me, sis and partner is of loving, casual support. Taking her places. Encouraging her. Listening to her etc. trying to create a &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=Y6fXKloDBmUC&amp;amp;pg=PA173&amp;amp;lpg=PA173&amp;amp;dq=corrective+script+social+work&amp;amp;source=bl&amp;amp;ots=XE1meazDt-&amp;amp;sig=-IV2ozvPAAPqyQvD-ghSGFQJ0Yg&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=9pfHU6_NOsnS0QXUpYCYDQ&amp;amp;ved=0CCsQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=corrective%20script%20social%20work&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;corrective script&lt;/a&gt; (see page 173 if it's still available) but now we're at a point where things could go either way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's just sod's law that before she's made that transition between mum's and our's that she's already diving deep into this guys life. She has a very bad attachment because of our terrible dad and the tough relationship between us and mum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anxious-preoccupied adults seek high levels of intimacy, approval and responsiveness from partners, becoming overly dependent. They tend to be less trusting, have less positive views about themselves and their partners, and may exhibit high levels of emotional expressiveness, worry and impulsiveness in their relationships. &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disorganized_attachment#Attachment_in_adults&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disorganized_attachment#Attachment_in_adults&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I'm just scared that after all the hard work, time and money from me and partner she's going to have the destructive relationship that I have tried to prevent her from seeking out. Knowing myself, and knowing her I worry it's too late. Also - perhaps most importantly - she used to lie to mum, so now I'm 'mum' I'm worried that there's no way I can trust her. She get's very defensive of her friends and will do, probably even more of this new guy, she reacts instinctively when she senses I'm concerned about it all (kids who are abused tend to &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to learn how to tell what adults around them are feeling etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recognise that my anxiety will in part stem from all my mistakes and being paranoid because I've been that troubled guy and I'm aware that partner has anxiety which in part stems from the time she lost and pain she felt over the years being pulled into such a complex and destructive situation. I also know that &amp;quot;just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Updates&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, so things got a lot (, lot) worse before they got better and so ten months later I'm posting a second update. The first is at the bottom and could be a trigger for people. The second (just below) is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Update 2/2:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister has moved to another college. A college with a brilliant support system (partly because it's for kids with lower grades) and she's doing a course that she loves. She lives with us again, after about six months of living back with my mum. Her and mum are mostly on talking terms but because of some drama my sister chose to keep a polite distance. My mum, for the most part, understands that and things are, relatively, OK. She is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; with the boy anymore! :D  He was an ********. The solution was actually really simple but is unfortunately not something that most people will be able to do: she went back to my mum and was therefore a train and bus journey away from him. Funnily enough after not very long he found he wasn't getting what he wanted (someone to control and have around constantly) and so &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; broke up with my sister! My sister could see, with some time and space, that he was bad news. I sucked it up and accepted that I needed to make a nest for her, and that she could do whatever she wanted. I did this. She started running and got super fit. I carried on not putting any pressure on her and she got a new job. The problem (and therefore why this worked) is because she was always given loads of independence but was too inexperienced to understand her predicament. So I had to respect that she would - and was always going to - do whatever the heck she wanted. Overtime she wanted to buy things and saw the value of getting a job, so she got one. After a while we were able to talk about why certain things that happened were bad and she's now knowledgeable about that sort of thing and relationships. Now she's got loads of friends and a new (nice) boyfriend and so we were lucky enough to put all of that behind us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Update 1/2:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;trigger warning&lt;/strong&gt; --------------------------------------------------------------------------- &lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;edit: 5 months on and she's not living with us anymore. He was unsuprisingly abusive. Self harm and suicide have been issues. She dropped out of college. She got a job. She left her job. They're off and on in cycles of ridiculous emotional abuse that with all the lies appears to not be there but with lies there is no trust so nobody has any idea. It all fell apart she barely talks to me and the stress was unbearable. The one positive is that (to some extent) the relationship with her mum improved. I think in retrospect I will consider this period of our lives as just one of those unavoidable trainwrecks. The only thing that was needed was for her mum to show her love so she wasn't so desperate to seek it from this boyfriend. Let that be a lesson to all the tough love parents who take their own stress out on their children. Love isn't a complex thing. Very sad :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9761" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T16:00:15.500" Title="Help - taken legal guardianship of 16 yr old sister who is moving in but already staying over with boys etc" Tags="|safety|teen|relationships|independence|abuse|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14286" CreationDate="2014-07-17T10:05:49.357" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a balance between your child's safety and your own convenience -- you don't want baby to fall out, but you also don't want to bend down farther than needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use the height that best matches this balance. Use the height that prevents baby from climbing out, but err on the safe side because one day you'll be greeted by your kid in the hallway even though you thought he/she was safely stowed away. That's when you know you weren't far enough ahead of the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-07-17T10:05:49.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14385" CreationDate="2014-07-18T00:03:20.743" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me see if I understand this. You're the 16 year old's big brother (didn't say how old). Mum didn't set boundaries with her, so she was doing poorly at school, but you didn't really say if she had difficulty with good relationships with guys, or mention of drugs, illegal activity or other. She's moving in with you and your partner, but you're worried because she's getting involved with a guy you don't approve of (you mention anger management issues). You didn't set any parameters (boundaries) with her before she moved in, and she's already doing something you disapprove of. And, there is a lot of worry, and projection onto your sister of your fears. Come September, will she be going away to college or living with you while she attends?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Welcome to life with a teenager. If she's going away to college, there's very little you can do in the three or fewer months that she's living with you. It's a bit late to set ground rules now, and she will doubtlessly see them as an attempt to control her relationship with the guy you disapprove of. As a legal guardian of a 16 year old, (I'm not in the UK, so it might be different), you do have a right to set reasonable parameters with her, and it might be healthy, but what are you going to do if she refuses to comply? Will you turn her out, or send her to her mother? My guess is that you didn't take her in just to hurt her by abandoning her so soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have loved and supported your sister, cared for her and been there for her. What has changed in this dynamic now that she's living with you? Did you have any control over her relationships before, that you expect to have some now? You seem to be afraid that she will not respect your advice/decisions. Honestly, she will probably respect them no more than she has before, and indeed, maybe less now that you'll be with her full time, and she may well lie to you to be able to maintain relationships that are important to &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In spite of your love and concern for her, she is her own person now, and can't be &quot;helped&quot; unless she wants to be. You can't control her, and are not responsible for who she is. You can be loving and supportive, you can be someone she can trust, and someone she can turn to in a time of trouble or need, but you can't tell her what to do unless there is a consequence you are willing to impose on her if she disobeys. If you only have three months or less, I would recommend that you continue to work on your relationship &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; her, so that it continues to be a good example to her and that you can continue to be a source of emotional support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also work on your own anxieties and expectations (which all caretakers have). She isn't responsible for the deep fears you have for her. Give good advice, but keep your fears mostly to yourself. Praise and encourage her good, responsible decisions, but don't poison your relationship with negative opinions of the behaviors you disapprove of, especially if they aren't criminal, drug related, etc (I don't know how you feel about sex.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it all feels overwhelming, get support for yourself. Since you share a number of issues (abusive dad, etc.), seeing a counselor/therapist/support group during this trying time might help you to set realistic, wise goals, and to distance yourself emotionally from the decisions she will inevitably make without you. If you think she needs one, maybe arrange for that in the vicinity of her college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Love is infinitely more powerful than anger, and hope is much better than fear. I wish you well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-07-18T00:03:20.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2014-07-18T22:20:44.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect the reason they are not available, is that a puddle jumper isn't really safe for a 1 year old; it doesn't orient their heads up automatically, like a Type I lifejacket will (which is what is recommended for a 1 year old).  I'd worry that even in a pool a 1 year old would too easily orient face down in a puddle jumper, particularly with the lack of arm and upper body control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some perhaps less frustrating suits out there; while most of the infant suits are going to be Type I and thus have the big neck piece (which is usually what is frustrating), there are also &quot;float suits&quot; and such, many of which have removable flotation pieces (so they are combo bathing suits + flotation devices).  You may want to go to an REI or similar that has a large selection and just see what is the least irritating to your tot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife also suggested that at 1 years old, it might be as much or more fun just to be in a regular bathing suit and in your arms.  That's mostly how we play with our one year old, anyway; and it's not like you would really be able to be much further away anyhow (particularly with a one year old, it wouldn't be safe for him/her to be more than a foot or so away).  I don't know if your one year old has as much body fat as mine does at 27 pounds, but he floats somewhat by himself anyway, which makes it easy to play with him in the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-07-19T12:40:10.350" LastActivityDate="2014-07-19T12:40:10.350" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14392" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-19T02:56:34.633" Score="18" ViewCount="62298" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am trying to encourage my 5 1/2 year old son to try different activities but he often simply rejects them out of hand before trying them.  Recently I saw a groupon for ten Taekwondo lessons.  He did not participate in the first 3 lessons and said he didn't like it and wanted to stop.  I told him he had to do the 10 lessons because I paid for them.  After another few lessons he started liking it and now loves going to class and is doing well.  So by forcing him to go he found that he actually did like the activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been less forceful with regard to other activities because I don't want to be an overbearing father.  I bought him a soccer ball, basketball, bicycle, scooter, motorcycle, baseball and glove, ukelele, piano etc.  He says he doesn't want to do them.  Maybe he would like them if he tried them a few more times like his Taekwondo.  I want to expose him to as many things as I can and want him to find his passion (if he has one) but it seems he just doesn't want to try new things.  I see many other boys his age advancing in these activities while he wanders aimlessly.  He is a very active boy who runs a lot and is generally happy and I don't want to squash that demeanor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I too took a long time to 'find myself' so I don't want to be too forceful but at the same time if I give up too early he might not find something he truly enjoys and might excel at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this is a somewhat open ended question with possibly no 'correct' answers but I would be happy to hear other parent's perspectives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9412" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-29T16:17:12.537" LastActivityDate="2018-03-29T16:17:12.537" Title="Should I force activities on my child?" Tags="|activities|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8975" CreationDate="2014-07-19T03:03:42.487" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had this issue to some extent with our 4 year old boy. I think this question is really covering 3-4 separate behavioral issues, though... and I would hesitate to connect them too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ours was a bit of a late talker, and was only beginning to form more complicated sentences at the time. I theorized that he was latching onto sentences that he had heard once in context, and retreating to them as a kind of &quot;safe&quot; way of &quot;talking like everyone else&quot;. I figured he mostly wanted to interact with us, so our corrections/reactions/annoyance/amusement all counted for about the same level of 'win' in his column.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Following that idea, we generally ignored the repetition, but tried to make a point to bring him into another conversation when it came up. If that doesn't work, you're back to ignoring it. For us it pretty much disappeared as his vocabulary/ability-to-construct-sentences increased over his fourth year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the &quot;talking too loud in restaurants&quot;, I generally stop him (tap my finger on his lips as &quot;shush&quot;), and then say &quot;listen to the sound in the room... how loud are they&quot;. And then literally say &quot;babble babble babble&quot; at the same or slightly higher volume, which he would join in with. &quot;That's how loud we should talk in restaurants&quot;, smile, and continue a conversation with him. This is a battle that you probably won't &lt;em&gt;win&lt;/em&gt;, to be honest, kids are pretty much all overly loud until they get hopelessly self-critical in the teenage years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(As others have mentioned... throwing himself on the floor for a little tantrum is pretty normal four-year-old behavior, as is being unwilling to accept rules he doesn't like)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9357" LastActivityDate="2014-07-19T03:03:42.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2014-07-19T12:35:31.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know that I would 'force' the activities, but perhaps incentivize them.  Kids respond well to incentives, just like adults do.  &quot;Try a sport for a season, after each game we'll go out for ice cream.&quot;  &quot;Do ten Tae Kwon Do classes, you can have that new toy you've been after.&quot;  Provide an external incentive to encourage the behavior you're interested in, and then perhaps he'll find he likes the activity anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-07-19T12:35:31.793" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8975" CreationDate="2014-07-19T21:29:34.220" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have mentioned, your 4 year old is engaging in some pretty normal 4 year old behavior. Isn't it ironic how we can't wait for their first word and then... we can't wait for them to just be quiet! My four year old talks himself to sleep every night and &lt;em&gt;in&lt;/em&gt; his sleep as well. He talks over us when we're talking. And, like your child, repeats himself, especially questions, and gets infuriated when he's wrong or he thinks your answer is wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I mentioned, he talks himself to sleep, mainly because I eventually get up and walk out, and he just keeps going. He either ignores or doesn't even hear me say, &quot;ok, it's time for na-nights, no more talking now&quot; and then &quot;your brother is sleeping, please be quiet now so we don't wake him up&quot; and then finally &quot;mommy is going now, sweet dreams...&quot; He shares a room with his younger brother and so I can relate to your situation where you want your boy to hush and not wake the baby. I agree that he should learn to be quiet when you tell him to &lt;em&gt;because you directed him to and he should obey&lt;/em&gt; (more on this later) but also keep in mind that babies do well to learn to sleep through whatever kind of background noise is typical of your home. In your case, as in mine, that includes a motor-mouthed extra loud 4 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another answer suggested placing a finger on the child's mouth and saying hush; that's one example of the idea that I suggest you try which is to use physical contact to gain your kid's attention when he's in his rut of repeating.  My boy is responding to this well. A typical scenario at our house is this (at dinner, usually): my husband and I are talking and my son is in the background saying &quot;we went by Mimi and Papa's waterfall today&quot; over and over. His brothers attempt to engage him but he just keeps saying it louder and louder and looking at us. I'll put a finger up to indicate &quot;one minute&quot; while we finish our sentence and he'll say it again. I'll verbalize &quot;one minute, Daddy and I are talking, it's not your turn&quot; and he'll say it again. At this point, I'll say &quot;excuse me,&quot; and I'll touch his shoulder and make him look at me. &quot;I want to hear what you have to say, but only when it's your turn. If you can't wait you can be excused to time out.&quot; Usually this will snap him out of it. Sometimes he gets time out. Often, once he has his turn, he'll keep repeating the &quot;waterfall&quot; statement despite having our full attention and, again, I'll touch him and make him make eye contact with me and &lt;em&gt;I'll&lt;/em&gt; repeat the waterfall statement and follow it up with a question about a totally different, but favorite topic. This has never failed to break the cycle. You might have to practice this-we stumbled into it by accident and it took a few tries to get it down. He still interrupts, but it's manageable now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regards to the inability to accept that an answer or statement is incorrect, you might try asking him why he thinks he is right. If he is hostile, you can defuse by gradually increasing the silliness. 4 year olds 1) can easy detect silliness and 2) can rarely resist it. Using your example: Ask him to explain why he thinks grandma bought the salad? If grandma bought the salad, when did she bring it? Did she bring it in a bag or did she bring it in a shoe? Are you sure that the salad fairy didn't bring it? Is grandma the salad fairy? My boy gets insulted if I jump right into silly-I think he thinks I'm making fun of him-so we get there by allowing him to feel like he's right (in your case going with the &quot;grandma bought the salad&quot; idea) and then gently suggesting that he's being &lt;em&gt;silly&lt;/em&gt;. It's easier to be silly than wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, for the volume problem. My aunt taught us this-she was a preschool teacher. Have your child count to ten, starting at a whisper, and getting louder to a low shout at ten. We had to practice this a lot before it worked, I will warn you. But, it did eventually work, and even my two year old can more or less do it (he's less compliant than less capable, but that's the age). The first few times I had to have him imitate me because his whisper was more like a scratchier version of his usual volume-he really just couldn't do it. Once he gets the hang of it, you can say &quot;lets use our&quot; ...and lower your voice... &quot;#3 voice&quot; and then count 1,2,3 to demonstrate the volume. Sometimes it helps too to let him use his #8 voice, outside or whatever, so it's not always about being quiet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To teach him to be silent, there's a game for learning the self control he'll need to be able to do it when you ask/require him to. (His ability/desire to obey you is a whole separate topic; one you can find advice on in other posts.) I have three boys,  and they actually play their own version of the quiet game together on their own, but you can play it too. The grown up/child version I play with my four year old (with the motive being so he can beat his older brother (-; ) is to get a treat-like m&amp;amp;m's or skittles, grapes or raisins or nuts if you want something healthy-anything just you can count out, and a clock with a seconds hand. Sit across from each other and put the treats in the middle. For each second that you can be quiet- no sounds at all! - you each take ONE treat. (This is why I like to use raisins-bc things get ugly if my boy is successful with skittles!) Limit it to ten seconds at first. At the end of ten seconds he gets to have his treats. Encourage him to make silly faces, etc, to see if he can get you to laugh. If you laugh, he gets your treats too. If he talks, you get his treats. If he can do ten seconds no sweat, increase the increments to ten seconds (every ten seconds he gets one treat). The goal here is to get him to learn to concentrate on being quiet as if it were an &lt;em&gt;activity&lt;/em&gt; just like playing or whatever. To kids, it's like nothingness so they don't want to do it.  Eventually, remove the treats and make the game about seeing who can go the longest without speaking (which is the version my kids play together) while making faces and whatnot in an attempt to &quot;break&quot; the other.  Some might argue that using treats is like bribery, and ok, maybe it is, but it's a temporary highly desirable incentive used to positively reinforce a desired behavior until the behavior is learned enough to substitute a less-desirable incentive until the behavior is finally mastered.  My four year old is at ten second increments now, and I can get him to play a portable version of this game, sans treats, on his own, by allowing him to take &quot;selfies&quot; of himself with an old iPhone as long as he is &lt;em&gt;quiet&lt;/em&gt;.  (The pictures are priceless, by the way, which is an unanticipated bonus!) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You had quite a few issues/questions I your post and I'm not sure I covered them all, but I think I covered everything I feel confident answering. I hope it helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="32330" LastEditDate="2018-06-18T10:46:50.543" LastActivityDate="2018-06-18T10:46:50.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14397" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14398" CreationDate="2014-07-20T10:56:58.510" Score="3" ViewCount="143" Body="&lt;p&gt;It´s summertime now where we live, and it can be pretty hot (30 degrees Celsius or 86 Fahrenheit).&#xA;So we put our daughter of 5 month to sleep on her back without blanket or sleep sack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, she sometimes turn on her tummy in her sleep. Is that a concern ? Should we turn her back on her back ? Should we put a light blanket to prevent her from turning while sleeping ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2014-07-22T07:05:35.810" Title="Infant turns in her sleep, is that a concern?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-07-22T18:09:02.957" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14397" CreationDate="2014-07-20T14:27:43.173" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main thing is to keep them cool if you can and adding blankets is definitely not a good idea as heat is a bigger contributor to SIDS than sleeping position (and last time I checked the advice on position was heavily based on evidence of correlation rather than causation.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;once your baby is about five months old she will learn to roll over as part of her normal development. By this time the risk of SIDS is lower, and it's safe to let your baby find her own comfortable sleeping position. By then she can turn her face to the side when sleeping on her stomach, which keeps her mouth and nose free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/x543064/my-baby-turns-onto-her-front-to-sleep-is-this-safe&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/x543064/my-baby-turns-onto-her-front-to-sleep-is-this-safe&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, both our daughters would &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; sleep on their tummies - no amount of just letting them cry it out worked as they just got really distressed and any attempt to turn them once they were asleep resulted in them waking up (and being very cross about it) the only exception was in the car (of course!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2014-07-22T07:05:35.810" LastActivityDate="2014-07-22T07:05:35.810" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14399" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-20T15:14:51.893" Score="3" ViewCount="225" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there studies on the correlation between the time a kid spends on studying which includes reading/writing/doing homework/using computer etc and any eyesight problems they develop?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9384" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-09-12T01:35:19.430" LastActivityDate="2022-06-10T17:14:04.657" Title="Correlation between study time and eyesight problems" Tags="|reading|screen-time|homework|computer|eyes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2014-07-20T21:06:30.347" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to find out where his interests lie and then give him the opportunities to pursue those interests. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it might be possible that he could develop a liking to other activities once he tries them enough. For these kind of activities, ask him what is his opinion on the activity. If he is not very sure if he hates it, then tell him to try it for a while and stop if he does not like it. Eg. Dad, golf sucks because its so slow. I prefer faster things. So, suggest takewondo or basketball to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to find ways to encourage him to try new activities. Eg. Show him cool martial arts movies like the matrix to possibly sow seed of interest in Takewondo, or simply tell him&#xA;that its good to know for self defence and to defend against bullies. Eg. See if he likes music and would like to be a rockstar. Then encourage him to learn drums, guitar or whatever he likes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you great success in parenting and in raising a fine child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PS:&lt;/strong&gt; Would you try a product simply because a salesman told you so and because his company spent a huge number of dollars on creating &amp;amp; advertising it ? Probably not. &#xA;You'd like some strong arguments or you'd have to be in the mood to try. To sell your&#xA;kid an idea, you have to keep this in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorUserId="7078" LastEditDate="2014-07-20T21:12:20.090" LastActivityDate="2014-07-20T21:12:20.090" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14402" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-21T00:36:25.967" Score="6" ViewCount="4079" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question was motivated by seeing a 6 or 7 year old girl jogging with her mom today. I was in slow moving traffic so I know she ran at least 2.5 miles (the distance between the lights causing said traffic). The little girl was wearing ear buds, running shoes/gear, and had what looked like a pedometer on her waist. A perfect replica of her mom. If she wasn't so young it would have been cute, but because of her apparent age it left me feeling more disturbed than anything.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get me wrong - kids need exercise. But I feel that pre-adolescence, it should be more about play, fun, team building, and sportsmanship than &quot;fitness.&quot;  Perhaps my opinion is off base? After all, Olympians are made not born right?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, with Olympians in mind, I am having trouble finding any other motivation for a lengthy jog than to be fit or to train. I actually love jogging, but wouldn't dream of encouraging my 9-year-old to do it because the benefits (besides an Olympic Medal) I'm seeking are not applicable to him - cardiovascular health, weight management, mental clarity, muscle tone... frankly, running just seems like it would be really boring for a kid. Of course, there are also risks involved, which are joint damage, getting hit by a car, sprains, etc... So why would someone allow/encourage a young child to do it? Is it healthy for a 6, 7, 8 year old to do long distance running? At what age is running a healthy form of exercise for a kid? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I crazy for thinking this scene was weird to begin with? (That's a matter of opinion and not good &quot;stack&quot; form so no one has to answer that...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want people to think I'm picking on runners - I also wonder if any of these other &quot;adult&quot; sports would be healthy/appropriate for a young child (say, more than 5, less than puberty):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;weight lifting&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;swimming (laps, not as part of a team)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cycling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do any of these sports have a benefit unique to children (as in, something kids would get that adults wouldn't - such as a development advantage) that would make them a better alternative to the usual kid sports (baseball, soccer, karate, etc.) that perhaps I am unaware of?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize there's quite a bit of opinion-orientated questions in here - but I'm leaving it so that my intent is understood. I'm really curious to know if running, etc., is harmful to kids or merely unpopular. If they are harmful, at what age do they transition into the healthy category? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2018-11-09T21:12:48.247" LastActivityDate="2018-11-09T21:12:48.247" Title="Is jogging an appropriate activity for a pre-adolescent child?" Tags="|primary-schooler|health|age-appropriate|pre-teen|sports|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14403" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-21T01:07:50.887" Score="2" ViewCount="1710" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my 6-month-old twins has decided it's fun to scream before any sleep time. To be perfectly clear: he doesn't &lt;strong&gt;cry&lt;/strong&gt; before nap time, and it's &lt;strong&gt;not a screaming cry&lt;/strong&gt;, in fact it doesn't seem like he's in any stress at all. It's more like he's got a lot of nervous energy and needs to get it out, with &lt;strong&gt;high pitched screaming&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually he settles down but this is after his brother has been trying to sleep for a half hour and is continually woken up and kinda frazzled looking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He learned to scream maybe around 4.5 months old. Since then it has been something he does once in a while when he's excited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He calms down when we hold him for a bit but even then, he sometimes screams while we're holding him. When I held him tight so he wouldn't squirm as much, it seemed to work for the screaming but he started to complain about not being able to move this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been going on for the last 3 or 4 days now and it's really disruptive to our routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried leaving him alone for a while and then coming back, picking him up and putting him back down. It's worked before and it works with his brother but he'll just go back to screaming. He loves the sound of his screaming voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6706" LastActivityDate="2014-09-14T01:08:21.720" Title="High pitched screaming before sleeping" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14402" CreationDate="2014-07-21T09:15:38.677" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sort of thing is really common. My 8 year old has been training at half marathon distance (walking, jogging and running) for 6 months now. Her idea - she's raising money for a charity helping one of her friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest two have been doing triathlons since the age of 9 or so, and again, all their own idea. They were given the option of full training but decided to have a life outside training, so only train 12 hours a week. There are a couple of their friends who train for the junior Scottish team, and they train over 35 hours a week!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point there is that 12 hours a week of training in this area is considered 'amateur' or relatively casual. At these levels the coaches don't see any health risk, and in fact only health benefits. Things like sprains can happen anywhere - and doing exercise actually reduces the likelihood. Getting hit by a car - very easy to avoid: run on paths etc., so I think this worry is not really warranted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-07-21T09:15:38.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13929" CreationDate="2014-07-21T15:47:32.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone who once played video games a lot, I wish I hadn't played them quite as much. It's not the time spent playing games that I remember or have fond memories of (despite to this day having a strong nostalgia for some of the storylines etc. just as with a good film or book - but not the &lt;em&gt;playing&lt;/em&gt; per se) Therefore now feeling like I don't have as many fond memories as I would like is a shame, but this is only something I'm able to recognise in retrospect, I had no capacity to process this abstract concept when I was your son's age. Had someone pointed that out to me, even with all the studies etc. I probably would have still ignored them for that reason. It sounds like one of those things where if you were free to start again you'd make all the same mistakes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course as others have said, the thing to find out I suggest is whether your son is finding this social enjoyment in his activities - rather than playing it in isolation (as I tended to do). Because with that social engagement (which &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; spread into the outside world with hack weekends and the like) he might find he will have those fond memories in ten years time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Video games didn't damage me, they even provided a strong comfort as books did traditionally during my difficult years 12 to 14 where I was bullied. In fact, I firmly believe that gaming from about 5 (alright, that was like Frogger... onto games like Sim City) is what got me my job as a Software Dev Manager. Something that I'm very proud of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said a couple of years ago I did learn, and I did decide that I wasn't ever going to play a game that 'had no end' after racking up thousands of hours. But I learned that in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9761" LastEditorDisplayName="user9761" LastEditDate="2014-07-22T10:25:53.653" LastActivityDate="2014-07-22T10:25:53.653" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11839" CreationDate="2014-07-21T18:02:08.753" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to not enforce it, but do 2 things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't generally speak English to him. If he speaks English, simply answer in Finnish/Japanese. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make a game out of it. When he starts learning new words, ask him what they are called in Finnish/Japanese. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think learning through playing is really useful to kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I are both Danish, and we live in the US. Our kids go to preschool/daycare, and our 3 year old is bilingual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We always speak Danish to him. When we are somewhere else, with other people we sometimes speak English - to teach him it is not respectful to speak a language other people don't know in a social setting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you can pretend to not speak the local language where you live, if you do speak it. The kids would hear it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, our oldest (3) have started to ask about 'what is this called in Danish/English' and we happily reply. He understands the concept of 2 languages, and wants to use both, and wants to learn both. We want to support his vocabulary in both. &#xA;We also read books to him in both languages, since reading to a kid really helps vocabulary and most likely they will go to school here in the US - so they need to learn all they can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He really responds well to 'And what is that call in Danish?' 'Can you count in Danish too?' Making him proud of knowing both languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-21T18:02:08.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8257" CreationDate="2014-07-21T18:23:31.197" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check the sensitivity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have used one (for our own peace of mind) and been happy with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However - once the babies started moving they could move to a corner of the crib where it didn't detect movement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you worry about sleep apnea I would talk to a pediatrician, but most likely you are getting false alarm, and the Angel Care could be adjusted differently.&#xA;Also, ours never woke up the babies (both very sound sleepers once a sleep), but if yours is giving false alarms AND waking everyone up, it might not be the best solution for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-21T18:23:31.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6944" CreationDate="2014-07-21T19:05:08.870" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the very same problem with my first child, and now again with my second. &#xA;Here is what I found that helped:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-based on No Cry Nap Solution book, go in just before 35/40min wake up time and use a method that helps 'coach' them through the wake up. I tried shushing, patting bum or back, re-soothering, or slightly bouncing mattress beside them. Each were different and just tried them all til I found what worked. It usually took 10-15min to get them through, and wouldn't always work but after a week or so it helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-once baby could roll onto belly, both definitely preferred to sleep this way. Found it was easier for them to START on belly rather than start on back (as I was always doing) because at the 35/40min mark they would each attempt to roll to belly but would wake up too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-sadly it was mostly time and a lot of coaching effort to get them into it, but totally worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9429" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-08-02T12:17:18.997" LastActivityDate="2016-08-02T12:17:18.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14412" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14414" CreationDate="2014-07-22T04:20:55.940" Score="8" ViewCount="2395" Body="&lt;p&gt;We will be going camping this weekend and plan to have our 8-month-old baby sleep next to me on the tent floor. Is this safe? Will it work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7804" LastEditorUserId="22180" LastEditDate="2016-05-17T15:59:29.407" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T15:59:29.407" Title="Is it safe to have your baby sleep next to you in a tent?" Tags="|infant|outdoor|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14412" CreationDate="2014-07-22T12:13:56.843" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been camping with a small toddler, and that worked reasonably well. The biggest problem was that he moved around &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt; while he slept, so we had to be inventive to keep something soft under him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will say that camping is generally child-safe as long as you take reasonable precautions. Here are some considerations for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids can sleep anywhere, anytime, if they're tired.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your child move around during sleep? Depending on how mobile he is, you might want to &quot;wall him in&quot; a bit. We used one of our sports bags filled with clothing as a useful barrier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He needs some sort of sleeping mat, just so he isn't lying on hard ground. Can you ensure that he'll stay on that area?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What's the weather going to be like? A fine summer night needs no special precautions, but what will you do if the night temperature drops to maybe 10-15 degrees above freezing? Also, dry summer weather is fine but if there's a lot of rain or humidity you can expect the inner tent to be very moist too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How big is your tent? If the tent is small enough for 2 parents plus one child tucked into a corner, that will be cozy and limit unwanted movement. A huge tent has a different advantage - you can make better arrangements between the child and yourself (and your luggage).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the camp site safe? Obviously I don't expect you to go camping in a bear-infested wasteland, and if you are staying at a gated camp site like the photo below then it's only a matter of whether you feel safe among the other guests.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/RYsmO.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How are you cooking meals? Where are you storing knives, foods, etc.? Just make sure that your child can't easily reach things that are dangerous or should be off-limits. Take special care while you're cooking because a gas burner with a pot of boiling water is an accident waiting to happen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How is the daily routine going to be? Outdoors you will have to adjust your routine to the whims of daylight. The child may not want to sleep if it's still (or already!) light outside.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How will you adapt your usual routine to an outdoor life? There's no cuddle sofa, no TV, almost none of the comforts and toys and sounds and smells that make your home feel like home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you go on your trip with a can-do attitude and you're prepared to improvise and laugh at potential misery, then you're already well equipped. The only thing certain about going camping with small kids is that it won't go as planned - but it might be more fun that you thought!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-07-22T17:11:28.747" LastActivityDate="2014-07-22T17:11:28.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14412" CreationDate="2014-07-22T12:55:55.667" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Where to put babies in the tent is something that varies from baby to baby and over time for the same baby. We took our kids camping (with a car parked next to the tent) at two months of age or so, and canoe camping after 11 months. That's where all your stuff is in the canoe and you paddle all day then set up camp, repeat for several days. Of all the possible dangers camping involves (lakes, open fires, sunburn, wildlife, insects, dirt, unlevel ground you might trip and fall on, distance from help and civilization, ...) sleeping in the tent next to your parents sure isn't one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming you're car camping, bring things that smell familiar. We had a &quot;moses basket&quot; for naps anywhere and that's perfect for a two month old in a tent. We also had a baby sleeping bag that we often used at home or other people's houses for a toddler, and that's what we used in the tent. If the baby can crawl, make sure an adult is between them and the door of the tent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring a variety of clothes for the baby. If the night is warm, use the lighter ones, if it's cold, use the warmer ones. You can't be sure what the temperature will be in a tent as you can in your house, and you can't count on blankets because a baby might kick them off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a number of &quot;camping with kids and babies&quot; questions on the Great Outdoors that might interest you: &lt;a href=&quot;https://outdoors.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/children&quot;&gt;https://outdoors.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/children&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:48:01.483" LastActivityDate="2014-07-22T12:55:55.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14417" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-22T17:32:59.123" Score="12" ViewCount="820" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are set to become parents within the next few months.  One thing that frightens me about the prospect of being a parent in today's world, and specifically, in Littleton, Colorado, USA, is the recent spate of reports of parents being arrested and having their children taken away because the children engage in activities on their own that would have been considered normal a few decades ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was born in 1983.  Much to the dismay of my parents, I preferred to constantly amuse myself with Nintendo games throughout my childhood.  However, I was certainly allowed and encouraged to play outside any time I wanted to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In today's United States, it appears that many people in law enforcement and the courts see it as a parent's duty to keep their children under close supervision at all times; they see anything else as criminal child endangerment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-watch/wp/2014/07/14/and-now-the-criminalization-of-parenthood/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;report&lt;/a&gt; by the Washington Post: A boy in Ohio left church one Sunday morning to go play with friends.  Someone saw him at a &quot;Family Dollar Store&quot; and reported this to the police.  The police arrived, took him home, and arrested his father for &quot;child endangerment&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Google will find you many stories like this, so I'm not going to post them all here; I believe that the above story is a good example of what I'm concerned about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are parents required by law in the United States in the year 2014 to closely supervise their children when they are out and about, or else keep them at home?  It sounds like the answer is a resounding &quot;Absolutely, yes, and you can go to jail and lose your family if you don't obey!&quot;  Are these reports typical of how the law is applied in the USA today, or are these reports outliers?  Finally, if I don't want my children to be developmentally stunted by being placed under close adult supervision at all times and &quot;house arrest&quot; when supervision isn't available, what can I do about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be particularly interested in an answer that cites the law as applied here or how the courts have interpreted the law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-11T13:20:52.817" LastActivityDate="2019-03-11T13:20:52.817" Title="In the USA in the year 2014, does the law forbid children from being out and about without close adult supervision?" Tags="|outdoor|supervision|usa|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14403" CreationDate="2014-07-22T18:05:48.853" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a whole bunch of kids and the one thing they have in common the most is that every single one of them is completely different from all the other ones. For example, for the first few months of his life this one boy would not sleep when laid down. He'd fall asleep perfectly fine on your arm, but once you carefully put him down he'd awake within about 10mins and started to cry. You'd pick him up again, he'd fall asleep pretty soon, you'd put him down, he'd wake up... We soon learned that this particular child, unlike the others, just needed to be in contact with another body in order to be able to sleep. It was either that or crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of my kids were carried around in a wrap (none of them was in a buggy/stroller/pram) and this boy would sleep perfectly fine in that. So for the first six months, either his mother or I would carry that child on the body all evening. When we went to bed, one of us would take him in the arm and, when he calmed down, try to slowly disentangle from the child and move him to the bed extension (like a small balcony) we had built. But I do remember bad nights when half the night I lay on my back with him sleeping on my belly, and the other half his mother had him in the arm, teat in his mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older he became the less a problem this would be. After a few months (probably a little less than half a year) we found out that he'd be perfectly content alone when wrapped very tightly in the carrier wrap, with his arms and legs firmly tight to his body so he couldn't pedal and struggle. So we made a little spectacle every night of wrapping him (he'd love it and giggle a lot), lay beside him for a while until he fell asleep (or, later, until he became calm), and left the sleeping room to do whatever parents do in the evening when all the kids are asleep. (Mostly this is about feeling tired, I think. &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt;) I think we slowly tapered out this practice before or around his first birthday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea whether this tight wrapping, had we tried it in the first month, might have solved the problem then already. And even if it did, as per my first sentence this wouldn't say anything about the next child. but from my experience I'd suggest you try letting this child fall asleep tightly wrapped to your body. If that helps, try wrapping him tightly without your body being involved. &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd love you to report back here what you tried and whether it helped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-09-14T01:08:21.720" LastActivityDate="2014-09-14T01:08:21.720" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8420" CreationDate="2014-07-22T18:06:28.163" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is the same way. She is 3 years old and was prescribed a -2.5 diopter pair of glasses for a -4.0 diopter evaluation. I have not been able to tell of any difference in her vision either. In fact, she used to watch the television from really close but since she got the glasses we don't let her watch as much but also enforce a certain distance; but when now she watches from that distance without the glasses too without any obvious discomfort. I do agree with Torben that they can be hard to diagnose in children just from behavior so I don't know why this is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the science though, from what I've gathered so far, in toddlers the muscles controlling the focusing of the eyes become accustomed to focusing close due to near work (or TV / iPads etc) and lack of exposure (outdoor play, sunlight). It is then not possible for this to be fixed unfortunately. In my case, enough of the preconditions were present to convince me that it was our environment that caused her issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there does not seem to be enough research around this topic. There have been experiments but not enough and not conclusive on how effective treatments are. Some people believe that the glasses in fact have the effect of 'locking' the prescription in place since this is now your eyes' focal point, the muscles have no reason to re-adjust. Apparently, in Asian communities there is a tendency to prescribe slightly less than the measured value for the glasses in order to avoid progression of myopia since the muscles do not relax at the new focal point position. Also, some people think using positive diopter lenses for near work might have the opposite effect. Again, unfortunately, there is not enough research on any of these for anything conclusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I know it's year on from when you asked the question. How is your little one doing now ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7720" LastActivityDate="2014-07-22T18:06:28.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14417" CreationDate="2014-07-23T06:29:19.330" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately the specific answer to your question is &lt;strong&gt;&quot;yes the law might forbid children from being out and about without supervision, but it depends on the state&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;. I believe the section of law most applicable to this question is &quot;child neglect&quot;, and for the most part the definitions of child neglect are left to the states. There is a very wide variety in what is considered &quot;neglect&quot; in various states.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are often specific laws involving &quot;leaving children alone at home&quot;, but they usually don't have much to say about leaving children unattended outdoors. For example, Maryland's &lt;a href=&quot;http://mgaleg.maryland.gov/webmga/frmStatutesText.aspx?article=gfl&amp;amp;section=5-801&amp;amp;ext=html&amp;amp;session=2014RS&amp;amp;tab=subject5&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;5-801&lt;/a&gt; states that children under 8 cannot be left alone (confined) under the supervision of anyone younger than 13. Note that although this statute does not technically apply to children left to &quot;run free&quot;, it is certainly not too hard to imagine a state judge interpreting it as being &quot;in the spirit of the law&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To stick with Maryland again, this is the definition of &lt;a href=&quot;http://mgaleg.maryland.gov/webmga/frmStatutesText.aspx?article=gfl&amp;amp;section=5-801&amp;amp;ext=html&amp;amp;session=2014RS&amp;amp;tab=subject5&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;neglect from 5-701&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(s)   “Neglect” means the leaving of a child unattended or other&#xA;  failure to give proper care and attention to a child by any parent or&#xA;  other person who has permanent or temporary care or custody or&#xA;  responsibility for supervision of the child under circumstances that&#xA;  indicate:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(1)   that the child’s health or welfare is harmed or placed&#xA;  at substantial risk of harm;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This definition is a bit non-specific, which could potentially cause trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The department of health and human services provides a rather nice summary of state laws as they apply to neglect (and many other crimes against children): &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/define.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/define.pdf&lt;/a&gt; . They really do run the gamut as a judge could potentially apply them to 'free range children':&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Alaska&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Neglect  Citation: Alaska Stat. § 47.17.290 ‘Neglect’ means the&#xA;  failure of the person responsible for the child’s welfare to provide&#xA;  the child necessary food, care,  clothing, shelter, or medical&#xA;  attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be a bit of stretch to get any sort of trouble out of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Arizona&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Neglect  Citation: Rev. Stat. § 8-201&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;‘Neglect’ or ‘neglected’ means:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• The inability or unwillingness of a parent, guardian, or custodian&#xA;  of a child to provide that child with &lt;strong&gt;supervision&lt;/strong&gt;,  food, clothing,&#xA;  shelter, or medical care if that inability or &lt;strong&gt;unwillingness causes&#xA;  unreasonable risk of harm to the  child’s health or welfare&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(bolded the parts that could potentially be troublesome)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Minnesota&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Neglect  Citation: Ann. Stat. § 626.556, Subd. 2&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Failure to provide necessary and appropriate supervision or child care&#xA;  arrangements for a child after considering  such factors as the&#xA;  child’s age, mental ability, physical condition, length of absence, or&#xA;  environment, when the  child is unable to care for his or her own&#xA;  basic needs or safety, or the basic needs or safety of another child&#xA;  in their  care&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly someone would be working with the definition of 'safety' here, but for the most part this is pretty reasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;California&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Neglect  Citation: Welf. &amp;amp; Inst. Code § 300&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A child may be considered dependent when:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• The child has suffered, or&#xA;  there is a substantial risk that the child will suffer, serious&#xA;  physical harm or illness as a  result of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;» The failure or inability&#xA;  of the parent or guardian to adequately supervise or protect the child&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This... could be stretched to something troublesome. Similar to Maryland in some ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Colorado&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you specifically mentioned Colorado, I'll point out that the definition of neglect there is maddeningly flexible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Neglect  Citation: Rev. Stat. §§ 19-1-103; 19-3-102&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The term ‘child abuse or neglect’ includes any case in which a child&#xA;  is in need of services because the child’s parent has  failed to&#xA;  provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or &lt;strong&gt;supervision&#xA;  that a prudent parent would take&lt;/strong&gt;. A child is ‘neglected’ or&#xA;  ‘dependent’ if:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• The child lacks &lt;strong&gt;proper parental care&lt;/strong&gt; through the actions or&#xA;  omissions of the parent, guardian, or legal custodian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• The child’s&#xA;  environment is injurious to his or her welfare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• The parent,&#xA;  guardian, or legal custodian fails or refuses to provide the child&#xA;  with proper or necessary subsistence,  education, medical care, or any&#xA;  other necessary care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I have edited the quotes from the above-linked pdf only to remove definitions irrelevant to the discussion... but please note that all of them have been edited, and should not be represented as authoritative summaries of the referenced statutes)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9357" LastEditorUserId="9357" LastEditDate="2014-08-01T05:05:18.503" LastActivityDate="2014-08-01T05:05:18.503" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14426" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14428" CreationDate="2014-07-23T18:13:34.773" Score="4" ViewCount="19275" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 25 months old. He is very active, and he plays with his brother. If he feels hungry or thirsty he just points and sometimes he brings... He still doesn't recognize his name and he never responds to my commands, like &quot;come&quot;, &quot;sit&quot;, &quot;take&quot;, etc.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He likes to watch TV. When I turn off the TV and iPad he cries and he likes some music. Sometimes, he reacts to music and sometimes he doesn't respond. He likes to play games. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried about him. That's why I went to a child psychologist, but she said he is not autistic. Now, my pediatrician said maybe he has hearing a problem, or his mental growth is slow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How is it possible that he might have a hearing problem or mental development problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9441" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-08-09T12:08:48.570" LastActivityDate="2019-08-09T12:08:48.570" Title="Why is my 2-year-old not responding to simple commands?" Tags="|toddler|communication|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6349" CreationDate="2014-07-23T21:20:07.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has the same issue. He is fine with using a pen or paint and likes school work, but refuses to use crayons. He screams and cries. After a lot of research and questioning, I found out that some people apparently have sensory issues where the feeling of a wax crayon or the feeling of a crayon against a piece of paper is intolerable for them. Also, I learned, some people have allergies to the soy, dye, or other chemicals in crayons that can make it physically uncomfortable to use them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9443" LastActivityDate="2014-07-23T21:20:07.093" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14426" CreationDate="2014-07-24T00:52:53.750" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, don't panic.  A lot of hearing issues are correctable, and you've caught it relatively early.  Even if it turns out to be a non-correctable hearing issue or a learning disability, it's not the end of the world.  As you've already noticed, his condition, whatever it is, doesn't prevent him from communicating his needs, and doesn't prevent him from enjoying TV or games.  It might require an adjustment, but you'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get his hearing checked as a next step, and look into your area's early intervention program.  Most states in the United States have programs that help you see therapists to treat his symptoms, often even before you have a diagnosis.  They test for developmental delays to determine eligibility.  I don't know where you're located, but other countries likely have something similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, many children with speech delays benefit from learning sign language.  Look into resources like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.signingtime.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;signing time&lt;/a&gt; and start teaching him some simple signs.  A lot of parents find signing beneficial even for their kids without speech delays, and it's not just for hearing problems.  My nephew with down syndrome learned several dozen signs years before he started speaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-07-24T00:52:53.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12239" CreationDate="2014-07-24T16:12:16.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;regarding the spit-up: I found it varies immensely.&#xA; My first baby spit up a little, my second a little more. My nephew spit up A LOT, really A LOT. All breastfed. I don't know about the connection between spit up and reflux though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-24T16:12:16.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14374" CreationDate="2014-07-24T16:55:53.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your going to have to shift the schedule upwards and wake him earlier, either that or cut out the nap (when he is capable of skipping naps).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My toddler goes to school only three days a week, and when she does she wakes up at 6:30am, she takes a nap anywhere from 12:30-1:30 till about 2 or 3.  On those days she falls asleep by 8pm naturally, I could not keep her up if I tried.  On days she doesn't go to school, she sleeps in till 8am, and goes to bed around 10pm those nights.  The only way to get her to go to bed earlier than that is to wake her up earlier, or to skip her nap (cranky all second half of the day).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, you want to try to keep the total number of sleeping hours consistent.  Especially if you judge that this amount of sleep is working well for your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7262" LastActivityDate="2014-07-24T16:55:53.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14374" CreationDate="2014-07-24T18:15:20.137" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's the schedule my 3 year old has been on the last year, except he wakes a bit earlier.  Removing naps doesn't help, and moving to earlier wake-up doesn't make much of a difference either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does help is going outside late in the day.  We go almost every day on a walk to the park a block away from after dinner to dark.  This is only possible in the summer, of course, but that half hour to hour of outside play gets him to the point that he's ready for bed by 9 rather than 10 or 11, and on days we don't do it (because we go out to dinner, or otherwise are too busy to go to the park) he reverts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-07-24T18:15:20.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14435" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-25T04:11:58.413" Score="2" ViewCount="45172" Body="&lt;p&gt;Me and my husband have a 3-year-old son. He always had a little bit of trouble going to sleep, but in the last 3 or 4 months it has become nightmarish. I do not like who I am when I get to the point of being so frusterated I cry. My husband's method is just to baby him for a little bit and then yell at him because he gets so frusterated too... I do not like that! I don't want to yell or scream or have to have arguements with a 3-year-old who cannot begin to comprehend what we're going through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a set bed time routine that starts at 730 with him including dinner, playing afterwards, bath, teeth, reading, potty, praying and then we both tuck him in. Within 2 or 3 minutes of us walking out of that room he will be getting right back up and stating that he wants to play or read or have us sleep with him. He gets bolder the more time we put him to bed, telling us &quot;NO&quot; when we tell him it's time for bed and sleep. I tell him he needs his sleep to grow, that I will snuggle with him after he's laid there on his own for a while, even telling him if he gets up again he will not get his toys back. He is so resistant after the 4th or 6th time that he is tired, he knows he's tired but will start to get aggressive. I sometimes swat his bottom when I am at my end of the rope, but he gets so angry as well and hits me back! I am all out of ideas. He is a very smart and bright boy and plays and is very active during the day. I just want to figure out what's going on with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How I can help to help him achieve a better nights sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9453" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-09T12:09:13.627" LastActivityDate="2019-08-14T13:50:40.633" Title="How to help a 3-year-old, who is resisting bedtime very aggressively, sleep at night?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14436" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-25T04:56:39.920" Score="2" ViewCount="562" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt; is parent of &lt;strong&gt;B&lt;/strong&gt;, let's say in primary school age. &lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt; invents fake profiles of &lt;em&gt;n&lt;/em&gt; realistic, inspiring characters and starts sending anonymous letters from each of these &lt;em&gt;n&lt;/em&gt; characters to &lt;strong&gt;B&lt;/strong&gt;, at different times, with different styles, such that each character behaves according to their own profile and each with their own story to tell; &lt;strong&gt;B&lt;/strong&gt; starts a private correspondence with some of them without realising &lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt; is behind them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt; makes use of these correspondences for genuine educational purposes (i.e. &lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt; is not a psychopath). Let us assume no actual manipulation is involved: each of the &lt;em&gt;n&lt;/em&gt; characters will actually behave independently and without any hidden goal apart that of being &lt;strong&gt;B&lt;/strong&gt;'s good friend and having some good time together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, these characters may decide to uncover their true identity, more or less gradually, more or less explicitly, entirely or just partially, perhaps maintaining the correspondence and continuing it as a &quot;game&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt;'s behaviour presents obvious ethical dilemmas (starting with children's right to privacy, their right not to be deceived/misguided). Can it be ethically acceptable or is there a way to make it ethically acceptable? Is it even legal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that worse than parents pretending to be Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt; Following answers by jker and Ines, I try to clarify my question&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the purpose of these correspondences? Expose the child to great personalities, fictitious but realistic, inspiring, able to communicate with the child and teach them something in a context that is outside what the child perceives to be &quot;family&quot; or &quot;school&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why, can't &lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt; do the same without this &lt;em&gt;bewildering&lt;/em&gt; trick? Yes, of course, &lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt; can play &lt;strong&gt;one&lt;/strong&gt; character: the parent. Unfortunately parents are not enough: all children need many good quality one-to-one interactions with as many different educators as possible, and from as many different cultural backgrounds as possible; however educators, relatives and friends are usually not able or not willing to engage, cooperatively with the families, in activities so much tailored on the needs of one single child. This &lt;em&gt;trivial&lt;/em&gt; trick would allow the child to interact with astrophysicists, musicians, artists, philosophers, mathematicians, neuroscientists, etc. - and these would not be just &quot;mum&quot; or &quot;dad&quot;, they would have an aura of magic, they would be fascinating - which parents cannot usually be. And having real pen-friends is such a great educative experience for children of that age, expanding so much their normal, little microcosms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems necessary to highlight that the purpose is cultural, not psychotherapeutic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Genuine educational purposes are perfectly compatible with having a good time as friends - I feel a bit uncomfortable having to state that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why secrecy? Because children need lots of good educators, and school educators, relatives and friends are not good enough, they are not astrophysicists, musicians, artists, philosophers, mathematicians, neuroscientists, etc. Often they don't even have time for individual children. For parents it can be much easier, they just need to get to know their child, pick some good book from the local library and write few pages per week in interaction with the child, mostly following the child's interests. If there is no secrecy or at least some degree of complicity from the child, the game cannot work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Genuine educational purposes&quot; might count as a &quot;hidden goal&quot; (?), what is important is that the parent behaves ethically and does not attempt to manipulate the child in any unethical manner. An example of the latter would be a parent trying to extort information from the child or exert psychological pressure on them: that would be very, &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; unethical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long would the &quot;deception&quot; last? It depends on the maturity of the child (weeks, I would say, perhaps few months, just the time to conquer the child, convince the child that the game is fun). The deception can be removed very easily and the game can continue with more awareness (and more fantasy/imagination on the side of the child who would try to attempt impersonating their &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; fictitious characters, great exercise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, yes, I confess I do believe that children have the right not to be deceived/misguided, at least to some extent that is not easy to define/quantify.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, Santa Claus &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; a false persona, and I can't see any educational value in it, it seems to me a triumph of conformism. Children can be distracted from falling teeth in many ways other than the Tooth Fairy tale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9452" LastEditorDisplayName="user9452" LastEditDate="2014-07-25T13:32:20.420" LastActivityDate="2014-07-28T07:12:37.587" Title="&quot;Secret&quot; correspondence with a child" Tags="|primary-schooler|education|relationships|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14435" CreationDate="2014-07-25T06:25:40.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does he take naps during the day? That was the main problem here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put him to bed in a normal manner 3 or 4 times, after that we just lay him in his bed and leave the room. All without talking or tucking him in.  In my opinion the less attention you give him the better. He knows what is expected and eventualy it will get easier (in our case the problem was solved after 3/4 weeks and not letting him sleep during the day).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2178" LastActivityDate="2014-07-25T06:25:40.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14436" CreationDate="2014-07-25T10:24:13.693" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the question needs to be asked... what is the purpose of these letters? I honestly have a hard time imagining a situation where this could be justified for such trivial purposes as you mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a psychotherapy technique that involves a similar method, but that's a different question entirely... and such things should probably involve mental health professionals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a bit of a contradiction between:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A makes use of these correspondences for genuine educational purposes (i.e. A is not a psychopath).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;without any hidden goal apart that of being B's good friend and having some good time together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As annoying as it may be, &amp;quot;genuine educational purposes&amp;quot; do count as a &amp;quot;hidden goal&amp;quot; here, and, frankly... are inadequate to justify the deception (to my mind). What educational goal is being furthered by the secrecy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second quote begs the question, &amp;quot;Why can't you be a good friend and write letters to each other... knowing who the other person is?&amp;quot;.  What is being accomplished by the deception?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A's behaviour presents obvious ethical dilemmas (starting with children's right to privacy, their right not to be deceived/misguided). Can it be ethically acceptable or is there a way to make it ethically acceptable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, it fits more in the category of &amp;quot;bewildering&amp;quot; than &amp;quot;unethical&amp;quot;. (On a side note, I think teaching children that they have some sort of &amp;quot;right&amp;quot; not to be deceived or misguided is almost as foolish.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My bigger concern is that &lt;strong&gt;systematically lying to someone over a period of years for no particular benefit does not seem like a good thing for a parent-child relationship&lt;/strong&gt;. There can be good reasons for a long-term deception, but usually they are  limited to softening emotional blows until a certain maturity level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that worse than parents pretending to be Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a different situation. Here parents are positing that a particular fantastical being exists, knowing that a child will eventually learn that they do not. This is different from actively creating and playing false personas for the parent's purposes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ruse for the Tooth Fairy is a way of distracting a child from the otherwise rather frightening experience of their teeth falling out (usually at least somewhat painfully).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Post-EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing in this edit makes me more supportive of this idea. If anything, it makes me much less supportive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expose the child to great personalities, fictitious but realistic, inspiring, able to communicate with the child and teach them something in a context that is outside what the child perceives to be &amp;quot;family&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;school&amp;quot;....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately parents are not enough: all children need many good quality one-to-one interactions with as many different educators as possible, and from as many different cultural backgrounds as possible&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the point is to give the child the idea that they're hearing a number of points of view, when in reality the world around them is being manipulated as if they were playing a tabletop RPG with mommy gamemaster who maintains absolute control over every 'different' voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;however educators, relatives and friends are usually not able or not willing to engage, cooperatively with the families, in activities so much tailored on the needs of one single child. This trivial trick would allow the child to interact with astrophysicists, musicians, artists, philosophers, mathematicians, neuroscientists, etc. - and these would not be just &amp;quot;mum&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;dad&amp;quot;, they would have an aura of magic, they would be fascinating - which parents cannot usually be. And having real pen-friends is such a great educative experience for children of that age, expanding so much their normal, little microcosms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With far less effort involved in this sort of trickery, you actually can expose your children to actual scientists, musicians and artists. (neuroscience and mathematics are... honestly... not all that fascinating for a pre-teen) This is the age of TED talks and &lt;a href=&quot;https://philosophy.stackexchange.com/&quot;&gt;stackexchange&lt;/a&gt;, youtube and the arXiv.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are underestimating the power of a child's imagination, and substituting role-play in where none is needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9357" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-07-25T13:49:57.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14294" CreationDate="2014-07-25T10:34:30.253" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he has more freedom than he needs, and he's moving in the wrong direction with that freedom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The phone is just a tool.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you want him to be able to contact you when he's not at home? An old push-button cell phone will work fine. He doesn't need a smartphone, he can call or text you from an inexpensive prepaid phone. Since he has the phone just to communicate with you, you shouldn't need to load the phone with more than $15 or $20 a month. If he wants to call or text his friends too, allow him to earn minutes or money to add minutes to his (your) account. There are phones you can purchase that are able to call only a handful of preset numbers in addition to making emergency calls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The phone is also a toy.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is his phone a &quot;toy&quot; (for him to enjoy) as well as a &quot;tool&quot; (to keep you connected)? You should have enough knowledge about the devices you're allowing him to use that you can control his access to different functions of the device. If the device doesn't have parental controls or password protected functions (ex, for downloading new apps), it may not be the right device for him at this time. When he becomes more familiar with the device than you, it's possible that he'll learn how to cover his tracks and continue the behavior without your knowledge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was his age, my sister and I began to download music from the internet illegally using peer-to-peer file sharing programs. My dad wasn't as familiar with computers as we were, but he knew what we were doing was illegal, and it was exposing both our home computer and our eyes and ears to unnecessary risk. He forbid us to download music and made us uninstall the program. When I reinstalled the program later, my dad saw it and I was punished, so this was my 12 year old solution: when I wanted to download music, I would install the program, do what I wanted, then uninstall it when I was finished. Dad was none the wiser. And He never caught me- I kept pirating music until well into my twenties, when I got a letter in the mail from a copyright holder of a file I downloaded threatening a lawsuit! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other Issues&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the phone is a toy, maybe now is the time to transition to using it as a tool alone, because of his grades. You want him to be able to contact you if he needs to. Prepaid phones are so inexpensive that you may find it acceptable to replace his smartphone if he's acting up or until he brings his grades up, and just store it somewhere when he has access to the phone he's using now. Right now, his priority is passing his classes (actually, it should be &lt;em&gt;learning&lt;/em&gt;, but I digress). The fact that he's so interested in using the phone to talk to girls could work in your favor as a reinforcement for bringing his grades up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for kiking with this girl, this could be the start of very dangerous behaviour. Of course, it's good that he's interested in romance and everything that comes with it- he's at that age. It's important though that his relationships are healthy, constructive, respectful, and most importantly for now, observed by you. Remember, it's your job to teach him about his desires and how to express them safely and effectively. You should be talking to him about his feelings for girls in general, which girls he likes, etc. You should continue to focus your discussion on his relationships with girls (Is she nice? or What do you talk about?), and not just his physical attraction to them (Is she pretty? What does she look like?). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's a boy, he'll chase what he wants, especially if she's communicating that she wants to be chased. I think at this age it's not beneficial for him to be reaching out in a sexual (or pre-sexual) way to a girl he doesn't know or doesn't see in person. To me that seems like the first step on a path toward more destructive (and distracting) behaviors. Also, depending on where you live, sending erotic messages to a minor may be illegal, even if sent by another minor. Sending erotic images most certainly is. If the phone is in your name (I can't imagine it's in his!), his actions could have serious negative consequences not just for him but for you and your whole family. Talk to your son about decency and indecency, especially among minors, and especially in regards to digital media. Maybe start the conversation by talking about the difference in age ratings for movies he likes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9455" LastActivityDate="2014-07-25T10:34:30.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14436" CreationDate="2014-07-25T11:41:30.620" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder, if &#xA;(1) A does not have any friends of his/her age, that he/she needs to fake friendships with his/her child... or&#xA;(2) B does not have any friends, and B tries to &quot;help&quot; with imaginary friends...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question: yes, I think it is worse, than pretending to be Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other question about becoming ethical acceptable... I cannot answer it, because I dont get the whole sense of lying to your child in that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9424" LastActivityDate="2014-07-25T11:41:30.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14436" CreationDate="2014-07-25T15:39:53.603" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see two major problems with this: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents shouldn't be interacting with their own children on a peer level.  Tricking your child into being &quot;just friends&quot; could lead to some very awkward situations.  Like what if your child says something to you while being tricked where you feel you need to intervene as a parent?  You'd probably break the ruse then, and then it'd add to the upset feelings of the child as well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It can end up being a major betrayal for the child.  What will happen when the child discovers they don't actually have another friend?  What if the child confides in the &quot;friend&quot; things that they would not confide in their parent -- like crushes, for instance?  That would be horribly embarrassing to the child.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Santa I see as different, because the kids don't usually form a friendship with him like that -- he's presented as an adult, not a peer -- and an acquaintance only, not as someone they talk to on a regular basis and confide in.  Parents don't typically act as Santa in person to the child either.  That is usually done by another adult, where the parent can be there and supervise as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9164" LastActivityDate="2014-07-25T15:39:53.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14436" CreationDate="2014-07-25T17:26:10.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What makes A think they could succesfully pass off as an astrophysicist, a musician, an artist, a philosopher, a mathematician, and a neuroscientist? The only things the child could get out of this are gross misconceptions about what all those people do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7953" LastActivityDate="2014-07-25T17:26:10.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14435" CreationDate="2014-07-25T17:37:38.797" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me from your question that a few things could be going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is he not tired?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is still taking naps, he may not need them any more, or his bedtime is too early. He might need less sleep than he used to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does he have any choices?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thing it sounds like could be going on is that he wants to run the show. &#xA;I find that at 3 years, their independence is really starting to show, and I love my son's independence - but he needs to know some things he cannot decide.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may help to let him ham meaningful choices, such as reading before or after brushing, which book to read, which prayer to say, which pajamas to wear - anything but what you find non-negotiable (such as bedtime). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can he be allowed to do something on his own after 'bedtime'&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the same vein as meaningful choices, sometimes it helps to let them perceive they get to do something 'special'. I don't think it undermines the parent's authority, as long as it is within the boundaries you set. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If our son wants to read another book, for instance, I tell him that I can't, and he needs to be in his bed, but he can read the book on his own. He quietly flips through it and goes to sleep. &#xA;Sometimes he is allowed to take a toy to his bed. I tell him that his head and feet need to stay on the bed, but he can drive his car around. I leave the room, and he usually stays. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this does two things: he feels in charge since he decided not to sleep, but staying in his bed helps him fall asleep - and we can get around to doing our adult things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bedsharing: A solution to endless snuggles&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last thing that stood out to me in your question was that he wants to snuggle with him. Maybe he really misses you? have you had any big changes recently? New pre-school, new house, new baby, new pet? Even things like change in parents' routine such as a new job? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The things above help us with our strong-willed 3-year-old, but only sometimes. We also lean more towards attachment parenting, and lets him sleep in our bed. We really tried not to at a point, but right now he can just choose our or his bed, and he walks to our bed at night sometimes. It lets us all get sleep, and gives him another choice while also feeling close to us (we really ended up allowing him this when we had a new baby last year).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bedsharing may not be something everyone want to do, but I am just throwing it out there as well, since that is what really helped with our sons' request for us to stay with him in his room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consider: Limit snuggling&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand your frustration, since we have been through some of the same. &#xA;One thing that happened to us before we let him sleep in our bed, was that the snuggle time got longer, and longer, and longer. We ended up doing was to say: &quot;I'm going to sit here for one lullaby&quot;, I sing, and then I leave. It had an end, so he knew we were going to leave, which is more tangible than &quot;I'm going to leave in 5 min&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2019-08-14T13:50:40.633" LastActivityDate="2019-08-14T13:50:40.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14436" CreationDate="2014-07-25T17:46:13.443" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a recent study, I saw a report of, c&lt;a href=&quot;http://time.com/2857733/study-kids-adults-lying-and-omission/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hildren were able to catch lies of omission&lt;/a&gt;. I found the study interesting, because it basically showed that if a parent or other authority figure lies to a child, the child will trust them less. It's main focus was that it was not just direct lies, but lies of omission - but I think that it tell us how children reacts to being deceived: Not well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;That would be my main concern, that this would backfire on the parent.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also think that the child has a right to know if a conversation is private - they may not have a right to privacy, as in the parent may require to read their phone text messages - but it should always be stated so they know it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this could work if the child knows the person is fictional on some level - lots of kids have 'imaginary friends'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I personally don't like the Santa deception either, or telling that babies comes with the stork or whatever. )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-25T17:46:13.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14435" CreationDate="2014-07-25T18:15:59.703" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My older son, also age 3, is afraid to be alone and has had similar difficulties going to bed.  I found that firmness and absolute consistency were the key.  Otherwise, that small amount of random attention you give him (an extra snuggle, some extra conversation, etc) ends up being as addictive as a Las Vegas slot machine, and he'll keep pushing your buttons over and over again, every day, trying to &quot;win the prize&quot; just one more time.  The only way to stop that behavior is to NEVER, EVER let him win some extra attention at bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try this: explain to him one day, before you start the bedtime routine, that you have some new rules at bedtime.  After you pray and tuck him in, he has to stay in bed.  It's important for his health, or whatever you want to say.  Then follow through: If he gets up, you'll carry him back to bed without saying a single word to him.  And over and over again.  No other consequences, no taking away toys, just put him back in bed and close the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared to carry him back to bed over and over again for literally 3 hours or more the first night, and you will probably see a complete turnaround within 3-5 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[Note: my younger son, age 1.5, is the complete opposite.  He asks to go to sleep around 8:00 (&quot;up. bed.&quot;) and his whole routine lasts about 30 seconds: give him water and a stuffed animal, then lay him down and he goes to sleep.  Nature over nurture.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7886" LastActivityDate="2014-07-25T18:15:59.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14294" CreationDate="2014-07-26T01:30:35.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is why my oldest daughter got an iPhone as a high school graduation present, not earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is why I have the home router set to use &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.opendns.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;openDNS&lt;/a&gt; (it's free) to control what my kids have access to. (You can block a variety of categories, including social media, you can exclude particular sites, you can allow a site in an otherwise blocked category.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's far better to set limits (which I used technology to impose), then give them freedom and privacy within those limits. What you've done is give him access to the world, then expect him not to access much of it because you say he shouldn't. That's not going to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-07-26T01:30:35.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2014-07-27T01:06:19.117" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I absolutely believe you should force activities on your young child, for the reason you found with the Taekwondo:  Without trying it, how can he tell if he likes it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As adults we can recognize when we don't like something because we've tried it -- or something similar -- before, vs. when we are uncomfortable just because it's something new.  If it's the latter, we can force ourselves to do it anyway, hoping we'll enjoy when we've gotten used to it.  But a five-year old has no such experience, or the self-control to act on it if he had.  It's up to the parents of such a child to lead him safely into exploring the various activities available for kids.  You don't want your child to miss opportunities for fun, for self-esteem, for a life-long addiction to healthy exercise just because he has a natural inclination to hang back from new activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are pitfalls, however, and it's great that you're concerned about them.  You definitely don't want to push him into something he doesn't want to do, or force him away from his natural interests, but the fact that you're worried about it means you probably won't be one of &lt;em&gt;those&lt;/em&gt; overbearing parents, trying to live their dreams through their kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, tell him that nobody knows what they will like until they try it, and you want him to know what things in life will be fun for him, so you're signing him up for one or two more new things.  If after the lessons are over he still doesn't like it, he won't have to do it again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, consider the following carefully, before you push ahead:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is the activity age appropriate?  Soccer at this young age is about having fun.  The coaches should be fun-loving and enthusiastic and the kids should be smiling and laughing.  At the end of each game, all of the kids should be convinced they were terrific, and the coaches should only have a vague idea (if any) of the score.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does he find it energizing to run around with other kids, or draining?  Kids who are energized by playing a team sport can probably do more than one team sport per season.  Kids who are drained by it should not play more than one team sport per season, and they may need some alone time or parent time afterwards to recuperate.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does he object to the sport or to learning it from you?  Some kids seem to get into an antagonistic relationship with a parent when the parent is trying to show them something.  They take direction/constructive criticism much better from an official coach or teacher, and want to hear only praise from their parents.  If this is the case, don't force your kid to learn the activity from you, but sign him up for something taught by others.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does he only enjoy things if he is good at them?  Some kids can be the worst kid on the team but still have as much fun as the best kid on the team.  Others need to see that they can hold their own with those around them, and are truly miserable if most kids are better than they are.  Figure out which type yours is and take it into account when you look for things to sign him up for.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Can he pick it up later anyway, and be no worse off then if he starts late?  Bike riding is something that does not need years of practice; unlike in soccer he won't be hopelessly behind his friends if he doesn't start riding a bike until he is eight or ten.  And at some point he will probably want to do this one, anyway, because it will give him some freedom and his peers will be doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is there another path that can lead him into the activity?  Baseball, like soccer, requires skill and a lot of practice, but unlike in soccer, kids are generally a mess at it until at least seven or eight, no matter how much they practice.  If he doesn't want to play catch with you, and you decide to hold off on signing him up for T-ball this year, you might try watching MLB games with him, rooting for your team.  We absorb so much about baseball by osmosis just by growing up in America that we forget that the rules of baseball -- from just what &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a strike, and how many you get before you're out -- and what does &quot;being out&quot; mean, anyway? -- to the infield fly rule -- are amazingly complicated.   If he's watched some games with you, then if he does start playing later, he'll at least know which direction to run the bases.  (Not self-evident to most five year-olds.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it a survival skill?  Most parents I know insist that their kids take swimming lessons.  (I motivated my &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; reluctant daughter by promising her the night before that if she learned to swim I would let her take surfing lessons.  She then spent the next two weeks throwing herself into the water -- she had just seen Lilo &amp;amp; Stitch and loved it -- and was the only four-year old to pass out of Level 1 at the end of the first session.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are you paying attention to the things he's interested in?  (I do see that you are, but I'm trying to make my list more generally useful to others.)  If you as parent are interested in sports, make yourself think of the other things that are out there (like ukeleles!).  They also have dance, music, and art classes for kids in most communities.  There may be a Lego club at the library.  The point is for your child to be happy, learning and mastering new and rewarding skills.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't over-schedule.  Kids need unstructured down time, to wander aimlessly, to develop an internal life, and to learn how to entertain themselves when nothing is going on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 2 - 3 of years of this, he will have tried many different types of things and he -- and you -- will have a better idea of the type of thing he likes.  Fast sports or slow sports, team sports or individual.  Dance, music, or art.  At this point you should let him have complete say as far as what activities to be involved in.  (Not counting things your family or culture insists on, for which you give him no choice, like... swimming lessons; Hebrew or Chinese lessons; a musical instrument; at least one sport, for the health benefits.)  You can urge him to change his mind, if you feel strongly about something, but he gets to choose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as motivation: I generally tell my daughter the truth: I want her to try things so she knows what she will like.  I am against bribery, but I do believe in &quot;celebrating.&quot;  When my daughter spent what I thought of as one too many skating lessons pushing a chair around, I mentioned that the first time she skated a whole lesson without the chair, the two of us would go out for ice cream to celebrate.  Needless to say, we had our celebration -- of her acquiring this amazing skill of skating up and down the ice &lt;em&gt;all by herself&lt;/em&gt;!!! -- after the very next lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2014-07-27T01:06:19.117" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14449" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14458" CreationDate="2014-07-27T18:13:59.417" Score="5" ViewCount="10161" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three children, a five year old, a three year old and a 10 month old baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the slightest thing, the three year old will get annoyed and storm off in a sulk. It could be anything from being told that he can't do something (such as take a hard toy onto the trampoline) or it could be something like his food is slightly too hot to eat. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be any particular reason, &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; will upset him, his face changes into a sulky face, then he will run off. He will often scream and slam doors on the way out. I guess you could describe it as kind of a tantrum but it's more like a sulk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other times it will manifest as a rebellious sulk in a public situation, like today in the park, he refused to slide down a big slide halfway down, for some reason - holding up the other children. I have no idea what was even the problem. I feel like in many situations he often chooses to not conform.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried various ways of dealing with it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I've tried, going to get him, being nice and carrying him back - he will just run off again.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I've tried being playful, laughing and tickling him in the room he's stormed off into - but I think he quite likes this, now if I go into the room, he goes all giggly and silly in anticipation. But it doesn't really solve the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I've tried asking him what's wrong, he just &quot;growls&quot; at me and won't say anything.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I've tried ignoring him completely. He will usually come back into the room, and maybe open and re-slam the door as if to make us notice him. This isn't always possible, e.g. in public he might be in danger if we let him walk off and we're not supervising properly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For the last two days the thing I'm trying is to bring him back and really trying to settle him by hugging/holding him very firmly, until he calms down - which does kind of seem to work, but he gets SO angry and exhibits more of a traditional tantrum in the meantime, and I'm having to hold him quite tightly. Even though it's not aggressive in any way and it's not done in anger it does feel like I'm using my size and strength to control him, and I'm not sure my wife would be able to do the same because he's very strong.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The thing that usually always works is trying some kind of happy distraction, like for example once when he stormed off about not wanting the dinner I'd made, I made a face out of the vegetables, and he came back happily and ate it then. Or today I pointed out how much his runner bean that he's brought home from pre-school had grown. But it's not always possible to do something like this, or to think of or have the means or time to do something that will get his attention.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His vocabulary is pretty good, but when he goes into this mode he seems unable or unwilling to articulate what the problem is; instead he just goes into this silent sulk and won't say anything. He will sometimes explain afterwards what the problem was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really don't know what the best thing to do is. Should we ignore him completely or should I continue with the holding method to get him to calm down? Or should I even try to punish him, by putting him on the naughty step? I'm trying to not do the naughty step (positive punishment) at all now and only use positive reinforcement instead (a star chart).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9460" LastActivityDate="2019-06-10T14:46:49.697" Title="How should I deal with a 3 year old storming off and sulking over minor incidents" Tags="|pre-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14402" CreationDate="2014-07-27T21:23:01.727" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mash up a bunch of different things in your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HEALTH.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://housecalls.djmed.net/wellness/jogging.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://housecalls.djmed.net/wellness/jogging.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Because of the increasing danger to the growing child participating in&#xA;  adult type marathon events, the American Academy of Pediatrics has&#xA;  issued an official statement against it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Several years ago the academy stated that there was reason to have&#xA;  fear of the effects of micro-trauma on the growth centers of long&#xA;  bones during children's competitive running.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;They denounced extreme forms of competitive running for children; and&#xA;  children are excluded (appropriately so) from many marathon races.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children are at particularly high risk for heat stress during&#xA;  exercise.  It is well-known that children do not dissipate heat well&#xA;  at all and are highly susceptible to hear build-up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In addition, they generate more heat for a given activity than do&#xA;  adults, as well as perspiring less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That shows there are serious health risks that are not considered by many people jogging with children. Heat regulation is a severe problem, and most people are going to push children to drink a lot of water.  (The link I provide suggests this) But more people die from hyponatremia (too much water) than from dehydration and balancing the fluid intake for a child is going to be difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You then mention some other stuff:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;However, with Olympians in mind, I am having trouble finding any other&#xA;  motivation for a lengthy jog than to be fit or to train. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plenty of children are either obese or overweight and could do with some exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;-weight lifting -swimming (laps, not as part of a team) -cycling&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Weight lifting is worse, swimming is better, cycling is probably a bit better than running  but carries other risks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-07-27T21:23:01.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14452" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19283" CreationDate="2014-07-27T21:35:02.430" Score="0" ViewCount="484" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've just purchased a brand new Tripp Trapp chair (in the UK) but the date on the chair indicates it was made in March 2013. Annoyingly the extended gliders in the baby set I purchased at the same time only fit models made after May 2013. Hopefully the retailer can get the right gliders, but should I insist on a newer model, or is the glider fitting the only real difference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastEditorUserId="7304" LastEditDate="2014-07-31T07:30:12.240" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T17:45:28.103" Title="Pre May 2013 Tripp Trapp differences?" Tags="|eating|shopping|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14449" CreationDate="2014-07-27T23:03:50.650" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like you're looking for something to make him happy when he's acting poorly. Bad move. Anything you do that rewards a behavior will encourage it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child has a tantrum or goes off on a sulk, you should leave them to sort out their feelings and come back when they can behave appropriately. When it's not possible to leave him, take him out and wait with him, ignoring him. Bring a book so you can pointedly ignore him. Boredom and isolation are a powerful incentives for members of a social species like us. Minutes will do wonders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="94" LastEditDate="2019-06-10T14:46:49.697" LastActivityDate="2019-06-10T14:46:49.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14436" CreationDate="2014-07-27T23:38:06.257" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A&lt;/strong&gt;'s behaviour presents obvious ethical dilemmas (starting with children's right to privacy, their right not to be deceived/misguided).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you genuinely believe that children have a right not to be deceived/misguided (as per the update/edit) then to follow the proposed course of action is in exact opposition to that viewpoint.  The activity outlined involves creating not one, but a number of, relatively elaborate deceptions with no reasonable justification to back it up from the child's perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Can it be ethically acceptable or is there a way to make it ethically&#xA;  acceptable? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To establish that I'd ask: Is setting an example which demonstrates that it's acceptable to lie to people without something they'd see as a good reason likely to upset them?  Probably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Equally, is establishing a behavioural pattern that says it's ok for children to converse with 'strangers' in secret going to promote healthy relationships?  Probably not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it even legal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I am not a lawyer, you should neither act, nor refrain from acting on any legal advice or opinions I may offer.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;There are members of religious cults who tell much bigger lies to their children and are allowed to keep them.  You'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is that worse than parents pretending to be Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids do recognise them as legend from a young age.  The tooth fairy is a character (Santa is real, of course!) but they will 'play the game' because it is a collective ruse shared with their peers and they gain from it.  They know it is a game more than we give them credit for, and it is fun to play along.  We are the same; when we go to a magic show we are complicit in the deception.  We know what we saw was a trick even if we don't know how it was done and if we weren't complicit then many tricks would be quite unsettling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making use of that collaborative behaviour is the only way I can see an idea like this working without risking unintended consequences.  Maybe through puppets or something like that depending on the age of the child so that it's obvious it's you behind it all?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2014-07-27T23:38:06.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14455" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-28T02:31:50.503" Score="1" ViewCount="590" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old daughter is #2 out of 4 she is the oldest of 3 girls.  Recently she has started doing things really out of character for her.  She is usually a very sweet, respectful, obedient child.  However she has started fighting a lot more with her older brother, she has cut her own hair, colored on my walls, and just today poured a bottle of water down the heating vent.  I am very confused, I don't believe she is crying out for attention, she gets plenty as well as one on one time with mommy and daddy.  Feeling Lost. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9463" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-10-09T19:17:29.723" LastActivityDate="2016-10-09T19:59:31.487" Title="Normally well behaved 5 year old is starting to act out" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14436" CreationDate="2014-07-28T06:38:29.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your idea of a parent building a small world of &quot;magical&quot; but credible and educational characters to introduce their primary school child to richer cultural environments is valid. And, as you openly acknowledge, the parent’s gamemaster role has the potential for ethical dilemmas which should be wisely considered and planned for before embarking in the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some hints to make the idea both ethically and educationally OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When a character sends a letter to the child, the parent should deliver it or announce it to the child. The child should not have secret friends/contacts, especially among adults.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The parent should offer to assist the child in replying to each character. Young children should not be left alone texting with strangers. The parent should seek the child's consent, of course; in the unlikely event they could not obtain it, they should be clear about children not being allowed to communicate with strangers alone.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The parent should not openly deceive the child, just allow them the time and clues to realise that the letters come from the parent who has started a challenging game with them: it will happen naturally and the gradual discovery can be made pleasant, intriguing, funny. My primary school teacher used to do this all the time, ages ago: she would very theatrically open an imaginary letter from some witty character and engage us in magical quests: unforgettable, exhilarating, enthralling.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Characters should not become too intimate with the child and should avoid encouraging the exchange of confidences. The characters should be friends with the child, the parent should not.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The parent should make sure that the child has access to library resources in order to allow them to explore the worlds disclosing before them. The parent should adequately research before creating a character.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The basic goals of this game should be to enlighten and amuse the child, make the child enthusiastic and knowledgeable about fascinating worlds. The parent should make sure that, when the child realises that the parent is behind these characters, the fascination for the real side of the story remains vivid: this depends on the quality of the cultural experiences and of the relationship itself between child and characters (the child should not feel teased or deceived, just part of a game where she has an active role).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A parent should never expose young children to the risk of a real correspondence with unknown people online - &lt;em&gt;no matter what unknown people online say&lt;/em&gt;. It is not safe and almost never enriching/inspirational: in the unlikely event they are not predators, chances are they can’t even read a simple text. Unknown people online are as uneducated and disrespectful as the people you meet offline, there is no way around it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a couple of references to children's right to privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 16&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;No child shall be subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy, family, or correspondence, nor to unlawful attacks on his or her honour and reputation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ncac.acecqa.gov.au/educator-resources/pcf-articles/Recognising_chns_right_to_privacy_Sept10.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Anne Stonehouse&lt;/a&gt;, A matter of respect: Recognising young children's right to privacy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The importance of respecful relationships between educators and children is a cornerstone of the EYLF and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, on which the EYLF is based. Respect includes taking into account a child's right to privacy, which may be undermined when adults, including educators and families, do not understand or recognise these rights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9464" LastEditorUserId="9464" LastEditDate="2014-07-28T07:12:37.587" LastActivityDate="2014-07-28T07:12:37.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14457" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-28T12:59:51.187" Score="4" ViewCount="1749" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the pros and cons of planning babies in a quick succession and then stopping it altogether. e.g: planing one baby per year and then stopping at number three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus Is it a wise thing to get babies quickly without leaving much gaps? The reason I ask this is that the first year of the infant requires constant attention which means all time goes in the infant grooming which makes us to think to utilize this time for another pregnancy thus parallely saving precious time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-08-03T14:45:06.767" LastActivityDate="2014-08-03T14:45:06.767" Title="planning babies in a quick succession?" Tags="|infant|pregnancy|family-planning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14449" CreationDate="2014-07-28T13:01:18.733" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see two main components here to address.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is that he's getting upset easily.  This doesn't seem too unusual for a three year old, especially if getting upset like this sometimes results in his getting one-on-one attention some of the time.  With a 10 month old in the house, it is possible some of this is jealousy, and deliberately attention-seeking behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to consider setting aside some special time just for him each day (if you aren't already doing so)... but &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; in response to one of these sulks.  Perhaps a story time, or time for you or your wife to take a walk with him, or some other activity to show that he still gets undivided attention even with the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other component you've described is how he chooses to express himself when he's upset.  The deliberately disruptive things he does when he us upset (e.g. the slamming of doors... and re-slamming them if he's ignored, causing a disruption on the slide by blocking the other kids, etc.) makes it seem even more likely that he's looking for attention.  However, I'd address these things a bit differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deliberately disruptive behavior like that should not be tolerated, and you should work towards putting a stop to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest that you combine &quot;time-outs&quot; with calm verbal explanations as to why those behaviors are not okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that by &quot;time-out&quot;, I'm not talking about punishment.  Rather, these time-outs should be clearly identified as time for your son to calm down.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to him that you understand he's upset.  If you know why he's upset (e.g. because he couldn't bring a hard toy on the trampoline), explain why it had to be that way (e.g. &quot;I know you're upset you couldn't bring your tractor onto the trampoline, but it is hard, and if you jumped and fell on it, you could get hurt.&quot;)  If you're not clear why, ask him to explain.  If he can't explain, you can try guessing, but you may have to just say &quot;I don't really understand why you're so upset, but I see that something is really bothering you.  Why don't you sit here until you're feeling a bit better, and then you can come tell me what made you so upset.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've gotten him calmed down a bit, point out that it is okay to get upset, but that it isn't okay to make poor decisions just because you're upset.  Slamming doors isn't okay.  Preventing other kids from being able to use the slide isn't okay.  Deciding to do those things because you're upset isn't okay.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making bad decisions like that could have consequences, and you can describe some of these possible consequences in ways he can understand.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Slamming doors and screaming is loud and disruptive, and could wake the baby, or damage the doors, and if it keeps up, you may have to put something on the door to keep it from closing so he can't slam it anymore (there are stoppers that can be hung over the top of the door to prevent it from closing all the way).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blocking the slide could make the other kids at the playground upset, and they might not want to play with him anymore.  If it happens enough, it may wind up that he might not get to go to the playground as often, or at all, until he learns to make better decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-07-28T13:01:18.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14457" CreationDate="2014-07-28T14:58:56.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had our two children four years apart, and that has proven ideal for us, though each was much later what we originally wanted. They are separated enough to not compete, but close enough to be best friends (now 15 and 19).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plan to be flexible. Many people plan on having children at a particular time, and it just doesn't work out. Sometimes it just takes longer, sometimes it takes medical intervention, sometimes it takes adoption. This can have consequences for a relationship. I'm not saying don't have a plan, I'm saying leave room in your plans and your relationship for the unexpected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-07-28T14:58:56.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14455" CreationDate="2014-07-28T15:00:15.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Did you try and ask her why she does it ? If you ask her each time she done something without too much trying to making it feel like an interrogation, maybe you'll get somewhat of a similar answer between the acts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you let her know that what she did was wrong, but that you are also trying to help her and be on her side. If you are 100% sure she is not trying to get more attention, maybe that's her own way of calling for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try to know if there has been any noticeable change (at school, at home, with her friends, etc.) in her life that she might be responding to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4154" LastActivityDate="2014-07-28T15:00:15.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14457" CreationDate="2014-07-28T16:03:55.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beofett linked to a great answer above. Let me add a few observations of my own:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, what you &lt;em&gt;plan&lt;/em&gt; is different from what you &lt;em&gt;get.&lt;/em&gt; Many biological reasons can cause it to take a long time, even years, for the first baby to arrive. And there's no guarantee against such difficulties for the following babies, either. Or you might get two or three all at once! So whatever your plans are, be aware that Nature might have a very different idea of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One obvious &quot;pro&quot; about quick succession to me is to get those dirty, noisy baby years behind you as quickly as possible. But that also means that this precious, special time will pass very soon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When kids are spaced a couple of years apart, the younger can inherit things which the older no longer uses - toys, clothing, even furniture! This saves money but may require some storage space. It might also cause some unhappiness in the younger child that never gets anything new. If they're spaced close together, there is bound to be some overlap in age groups that prevent this inheritance scheme.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quick succession gives you less time for each child in the early years. As you mention, babies require more attention, and it's much easier to attend to a 1yo when the elder sibling is 4 rather than 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quick succession is a mental and physical and financial strain on you because so much happens at once. Spreading it out more distributes the load and the stress. But you'd then have to deal with it longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quick succession may make holiday planning easier because the kids will be in the same schools longer, so there are fewer external organizations to coordinate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quick succession lets the children have a closer relationship because they have more in common, but their relative age difference evens out after 10-15 years anyway, unless they're many years apart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-07-28T16:03:55.353" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14464" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14468" CreationDate="2014-07-28T21:40:49.060" Score="-3" ViewCount="21563" Body="&lt;p&gt;How active are you online? How much do you browse the internet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was surprised to see that many teens ask the same question regarding what is called &lt;strong&gt;Dry Humping&lt;/strong&gt;, which, in definition is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;dry humping is the process of two people repeatedly moving up and down and back and forth on top of each other fully clothed( or missing various pieces, but the penis must not come in contact with the vagina with out some sort of fabric seperating them ex: boxers,panties, or even sheets!!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all know that the basic rule for impregnation is that the sperm must come in contact with the egg, and even be able to fertilize it. While sperm can get through clothes, semen (but this is yet been proven or disproved) gets stuck, thus the sperm dies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is your opinion about this? If two people are on top of each other, fully clothed, and the male comes to ejaculation, is there any chance that pregnancy can happen, in the &lt;strong&gt;realistic&lt;/strong&gt; look at it (and not some probability or statistical way)? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would love to see the feedback of such a great community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9467" LastActivityDate="2014-07-30T15:19:40.553" Title="Teens concerned about impregnation through clothes" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2014-08-11T18:28:00.227" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14449" CreationDate="2014-07-28T21:55:07.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is pretty common at that age, although to different degrees with different children.  The basic approach to take is &lt;strong&gt;validate the emotion and correct the behavior&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Validating the emotion means to communicate that their feelings are being heard and acknowledged.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201204/understanding-validation-way-communicate-acceptance&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; explains many different ways to do that.  Usually with a small child, it takes the form of, &quot;You feel ______ because of ______.&quot;  For example, &quot;You are sad because you couldn't take the toy on the trampoline.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The validation step is important because children that age often feel they will not be understood unless they make a big scene.  You need to teach them that they will be understood even without the tantrum.  Remember, it may be a minor incident to you, but to children that age, everything is major.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure to give your full attention during the validation part.  Children won't feel understood if most of your attention is on your smartphone or something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second part is to correct the behavior.  This is saying the emotion is okay, but the way you expressed it is not.  Don't just say what not to do, make sure to teach what to do instead.  For example, instead of saying, &quot;Don't stop in the middle of the slide,&quot; say, &quot;You're upset because you don't want to come down the rest of the way, but you need to come the rest of the way so the other kids can have a turn, then you can come talk to me about why you stopped, if you want.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the child is way too emotional to stop a tantrum, and you need to wait until they've calmed down in order to do the explanation part.  In those situations, I usually say something like, &quot;I know you're sad, but it's not okay to make other people be around your tantrum.  If you want to sulk, you need to do it in your room, then you can come out when you're ready to be friendly.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since that takes away the attention part, it's often enough incentive to stop the tantrum right away, but I was surprised how often my children choose to go to their rooms to calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-07-28T21:55:07.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14464" CreationDate="2014-07-29T10:16:32.503" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as I remember, in Poland it takes couples, on average, three months to get pregnant. It means that having sex several times during the fertile part of the cycle, having the full amount of ejaculated sperm inside the vagina/uterus still gives about one-in-three chance of getting pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While &lt;em&gt;dry humping&lt;/em&gt; could somehow possibly maybe get the couple pregnant, I think that if it happens, the two can simply go and take part in a national lottery, win it, and they're good for life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-07-29T10:16:32.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14464" CreationDate="2014-07-29T10:28:54.347" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Chance: yes. Realistic: no where in hell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Semen don't have any form of intelligence when trying to reach the egg to fertilize, so every movement is basically random. The semen in question would need to penetrate the fabric of whatever they are wearing, find and enter the vagina, survive the long way and very hostile environment and still hit the egg. Chances of this to happen are abysmally low. I would have to calculate it, but I think chances for the semen to accidentally quantum-teleport to their destination might be higher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-07-29T10:28:54.347" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="443" CreationDate="2014-07-29T16:21:39.213" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to practicing with water, what helped us was to use a 'big kid' or 'adult' toothpaste - one that tasted of mint. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found that the little kids bubble gum ones he wanted to eat, but the minty stuff he wanted to spit out. &#xA;If you check, you can see that the kids toothpaste actually have the same fluoride content as adult ones - at least the ones we were using.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ended up using &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tomsofmainestore.com/product/35694&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tom's wicked cool children's toothpaste&lt;/a&gt;. It is not overly strong, but it doesn't taste like candy (makes his breath fresher too). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also helped explaining that there was stuff in toothpaste that was good for your teeth, but not your tummy, so he had to spit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(If worried about the fluoride content of the toothpaste, talk to your doctor or dentist about a good one to use)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-29T16:21:39.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14464" CreationDate="2014-07-30T15:19:40.553" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming this is all that happens, the chance of pregnancy is minuscule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, when two teens are together, partially undressed and going at it, there is a very real risk of those panties coming off in the heat of the moment. That's the where the risk of pregnancy is, and it's a real risk indeed, as anyone who was once half of a pair of teens in a car should well realize. The closer kids are to &quot;real&quot; sex, the closer they are to real sex!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-07-30T15:19:40.553" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14473" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14475" CreationDate="2014-07-30T22:42:10.163" Score="6" ViewCount="4018" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm having an argument with a relative who believes that it is actually dangerous to take my child to see their great-grandmother who is living in the nursing section of an old folks home.  She's not sick (as in diseased), she's just really old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can understand not taking the kid in the back with the rest of the people in the nursing section, but shouldn't I be able to take my grandmother outside the nursing section to see my son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1880" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-23T12:57:28.303" LastActivityDate="2018-08-23T12:57:28.303" Title="Is it safe to take a baby under 6 months old to an old folks home?" Tags="|infant|health|safety|grandparents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2014-07-30T23:33:29.160" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is an excellent question and your son reminds me a little bit of my own son who is not quite 6 1/2.  We started him in Choi Kwong Do (a variation of Taekwondo) when he was about 4 1/2.  My son is not an assertive child and he's also fairly introverted.  Getting him to try new activities is sometimes a challenge.  He'll be starting first grade next week and he's a little anxious about that because it means he won't know everyone in his class (even though he'll know several).  For him, the hesitancy to try something new is about the fact that he doesn't know anyone in the class, and he doesn't know what he's doing.  I can sympathize with him--I have similar reservations about trying new things.  It is something I have had to work on as an adult and it still keeps me from trying some new things even if I think I might enjoy them.  Frequently, though, once I actually &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; try that something new (a class, an organization, etc.) I find &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm no worse at it than anyone else in the room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most of the people are really nice and friendly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I really do enjoy doing it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I counted once and discovered that I had tried about 10 different types of lessons (ranging from gymnastics and ballet to violin and piano) and didn't stick with any of them when I was a kid.  Because my mom didn't make me (as background, my mom was raised very poor and never got to do anything like that so she considered it a big deal that I was even given the opportunity).  Now, as an adult, I wish that my mom had been more assertive and had MADE me practice or had said, &quot;No, you're going to finish this&quot; instead of always giving me an easy out.  As a result, I take a different approach with my kids.  I'm pushier.  There are times when my son doesn't want to stop playing with his Legos and go to his Choi class, but I remind him that he has set his goal to become a black belt and that my job as his mom is to help him achieve that goal.  I have a friend of mine who is very different.  Her opinion is that if her son really wants to do something, he needs to take the responsibility upon himself to practice.  I contend that most 6-year-olds do not have the self-awareness to be able to monitor that kind of thing, but it's all in your child's personality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I have learned a few tricks that make getting my son to try new activities a little easier:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We will sign him up for activities with a friend.  For example, this summer was swim lesson summer.  He wasn't especially excited about learning how to swim, but it needed to be done.  We signed him up with another little boy that he knows from Choi.  Having a friend there who was as unskilled in swimming as he was helped him become more confident about attending the first few swim lessons.  By the end of the second class, he LOVED it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We float ideas to him about potential new activities a few weeks in advance.  We told him about swim lessons way before school let out just so he could sort of process the idea.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Now that he's 6, we let him have more of a say in what activities he participates in.  We had been toying with the idea of adding an activity.  We gave him the option of trying fall soccer or Boy Scouts, explaining that he could only choose one because there wasn't time in the week to do both.  He has chosen Boy Scouts (which, for him, is the better option).  We are intentionally joining a Pack that includes several boys he knows so that he'll be more comfortable (plus, we know the parents which is a bonus for us!).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We are fairly intentional about who we pick for our instructors/teachers.  Andrew is pretty sensitive about some things and does not respond well to people who yell or who shame.  There are a surprising number of adult instructors who do these things and who probably have no business teaching children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned above, there is always the threat of over-doing it and being &quot;that&quot; parent who tries to live vicariously through their child, but it doesn't sound like you're in any danger of doing that.  How else is a kid going to know what interests them unless they're given the opportunity to try it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-07-30T23:33:29.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14473" CreationDate="2014-07-31T00:23:27.417" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may fall under medical advice, and I am not a doctor or health professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On WebMD, under the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/cold-guide/colds-risk&quot;&gt;flu &amp;amp; cold section&lt;/a&gt;, they mention newborns younger than 6 weeks are at higher risk for colds because their immune systems are immature. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They list a number of precautions, and the following might be applicable to your situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Keep newborns away from anyone who is sick.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;If possible, avoid crowds and using public transportation with newborns&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think that a nursing home is crowded place, especially if you only go visit one person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, I would:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ask anyone who holds the baby to wash hands first. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make sure the baby (&amp;amp; you!) is up to date on vaccinations (for that matter, so should any elderly be)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the baby is older than 6 weeks, the risk is probably lower, but you can still follow those guidelines of course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that in the US, most daycares (nurseries) allow babies as young as 6 weeks. The baby will be exposed to a lot of germs here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the baby has any health issues or was premature, I would definitely check with a doctor before going anywhere. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-07-31T00:30:29.647" LastActivityDate="2014-07-31T00:30:29.647" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14457" CreationDate="2014-07-31T15:47:23.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Recovery from the first birth&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having back to back babies can take a hard &lt;strong&gt;toll on the mom's body&lt;/strong&gt;. A few months post-partum her body has not had time to fully physically recover:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“Studies show that there is a higher incidence of low birth-weight and&#xA;  premature birth when conception takes places within six months of a&#xA;  previous delivery,” Dr. Debra Wickman, OB/GYN and a doctor with SHE,&#xA;  Sexual Health Experts in Arizona told SheKnows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“This is likely due to depletion of nutrients and vitamins that have&#xA;  not had time to become replenished and full physical and psychological&#xA;  recovery may not have occurred by six months postpartum,” &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/991291/family-planning-back-to-back-babies&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;(1)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Effects on Breastfeeding&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another aspect to consider is &lt;strong&gt;how long the mother would like to breastfeed&lt;/strong&gt;. Babies can benefit from extended breastfeeding up to 2+ years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Breastmilk still contains immunologic factors that help protect the child even if he is 2 or older. In fact, some immune factors in breastmilk that protect the baby against infection are present in greater amounts in the second year of life than in the first. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=doc-BT&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;(2)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many women find when they get pregnant that their nipples become very sensitive and breastfeeding may be painful or uncomfortable. Some women also find their milk supply dries up or is severely reduced by pregnancy. So, very closely spaced children has the potential to interfere with other goals like breastfeeding until 1 or 2 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider, relating to breastfeeding, is that frequent breastfeeding throughout the day and night can cause a &lt;strong&gt;delay to the return to fertility&lt;/strong&gt;. Many women do not start having regular cycles until they night-wean or wean entirely. Certainly, there are exceptions, but it's something to keep in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-07-31T15:47:23.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14477" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14478" CreationDate="2014-07-31T15:54:22.493" Score="3" ViewCount="555" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year-old son has a lot of difficulty making logical connections on his own.  His inability to make logical connections is his biggest obstacle to academics and social functioning.  How can we help him improve at it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, one of his teeth fell out last night, but he left it in the van.  We took him out to the van this morning to see if the tooth fairy came.  He looked straight at the money a few times, but didn't notice it, because he was looking for his tooth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We asked him what he was looking for, and he answered his tooth.  So we asked why he was looking for his tooth, and he answered because he left it in there last night.  So we asked him what the tooth fairy does, and he answered correctly and promptly.  But it still didn't dawn on him.  So we asked him what he should be looking for.  Only then did he get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know this isn't age-typical behavior, because his four year-old sister sometimes makes similar mistakes starting out, but she almost always makes the connection when she first sees hints like the money, and on the rare occasions she doesn't, she doesn't need more than one verbal hint.  Our son almost never makes those connections without our input.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He easily remembers the pieces of the puzzle one at a time when prompted, and once the pieces are all there he can easily put them together.  He does very well on logic games like robot turtles.  It's just like it doesn't occur to his brain to ask the right questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This affects him academically.  Math has a lot of deductive reasoning, and in reading new words he often gets stuck on his first pronunciation, and it doesn't occur to him to try an 's' sound for the 'c', for example.  He is actually a grade level or more ahead in reading, according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://a2zhomeschooling.com/all_time_favorites/reading_level_assessment/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;these tests&lt;/a&gt;, but it's like he remembers a huge number of sight words rather than possessing good decoding ability.   In other words, he is severely hampered in learning new things independently, but probably above average in recalling facts he learned previously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've probably said things like &quot;What other sounds does a 'c' make?&quot; thousands of times, but it doesn't occur to him to ask those questions of himself. Obviously modeling the behavior isn't working.  We could make prospective memory aids for specific situations like reading new words, but that won't help him in other new situations, especially social ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try to give him as small of hints as possible, in order to help him exercise that skill, but it hasn't seemed to make a difference.  What else can we do to help him develop this skill?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-07-31T17:01:05.373" Title="Helping a child independently make logical connections" Tags="|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14477" CreationDate="2014-07-31T17:01:05.373" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, while I certainly don't suggest giving up on training this ability, it's worth considering that this may simply be how his brain works to some extent.  That means tailoring his education to accommodate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if he memorizes words rather than figuring out how to sound them out, that's fine: have him read a dictionary, or give him an iPod or laptop with dictionary.com or similar set up, where he can loop up words and push 'play' to hear them spoken.  My wife has this exact problem in regards to turning words into sounds; she hasn't a clue how to pronounce many words that she learned from reading.  Education that focuses on taking advantage of his skills can be very beneficial in the long run (and the short run), while still working on the weaknesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as trying to help this along, a few suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encyclopedia Brown, or similar, books.  These are effectively kid-level Sherlock Holmes stories, where there is a kid detective solving mysteries using deductive reasoning.  You're encouraged by the structure of the story to 'guess along at home', and then at the end the reasoning is shown and explained in detail.  I &lt;em&gt;loved&lt;/em&gt; these as a kid, in part because deductive reasoning came naturally to me - but they're well written and interesting, so perhaps useful for training that side of things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Math has a lot of examples of 'making connections' that can be treated like a memorization problem.  Teach the transitive property of addition, for example. &lt;code&gt;if 1+2 = 3 and 3+5=8 then 1+2+5=8.&lt;/code&gt;, or the transitive property of equality more generally, &lt;code&gt;if a=b and b=c then a=c&lt;/code&gt;.  That's the connection you're asking him to make, right?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach him to play chess, and play it often.  Chess is a strategy game, and that includes a lot of deductive reasoning . &quot;If I do this, then he will do this, meaning this will happen.&quot;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing to consider is that this sort of thing often comes from being overly focused, or overly disfocused.  Being very focused means you don't see the forest for the trees - ie, you see one thing, so you try to see what it does, but you don't see the other things affecting it.  Being disfocused means you have too many inputs, such that your brain can't really collapse them to useful information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, training yourself to focus broadly, but not too broadly, can be very helpful.  Training yourself to iteratively expand your focus, for example, so starting with the central element, then expanding to the things potentially affecting the central element, then expanding to the things potentially affecting those second tier elements, etc.  This can be hard for someone at seven to handle, I imagine, but it's a good approach; it's how I deal with being overly focused in chess games, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-07-31T17:01:05.373" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4190" CreationDate="2014-07-31T17:21:49.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I speak Portuguese, my husband speaks French and we live in the US. The only language we have in common is English. Since we both can speak a tiny bit of each other's language( I more so than him), and since I am staying home mom, I try to speak all 3 of them to my son. It happens naturally depending on what I am talking about with my son. If I am trying to say something to my son that I want dad to listen, then I will speak in French or English if I dont have all the vocabulary. Dad does the same way. For instance, if he wants to say &quot;go to mommy&quot; than he would say it in portuguese...things like that. I am also in the process of introducing sign language to my son, so that he can express more of his desires. He is only 4 months now. But we are still in the process of learning what works and what doesn't for us. We know for sure that we want our children to learn the 3 languages even if that requires some delay in speech. Good luck to all of us brave multilingual parents!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9478" LastActivityDate="2014-07-31T17:21:49.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4190" CreationDate="2014-07-31T18:19:56.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For any bi- or more lingual discussions, I always like to point to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this great TED talk&lt;/a&gt; on how babies aquire languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, they filter which sounds are important or not, so an English 'speaking' baby will develop ability to distinguish between 'l' and 'r', whereas a Japanese 'speaking' baby will not. Or as she says - will loose that ability! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also says that the younger you are, the more easy you learn languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The takeaway I have is that &lt;strong&gt;speak as many languages as possible around the baby&lt;/strong&gt;. He/She may not learn all of them, but being able to differentiate between different sounds will make it easier later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a couple of anecdotes to share:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Friend of mine is Chinese-Canadian married to a Japanese wife. He speaks English to the kids, wife speaks Japanese. Kids are fluent in both, have both English and Japanese books and so forth. Their paternal grandparents speak Cantonese to them, but the kids don't speak it. The idea is that it would be hard to maintain 3 languages in the household (and my friend does not feel comfortable enough in Cantonese himself), but at least they learn the sounds of the language - which is very different from both Japanese and English. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As another example of how early exposure helps, I met a guy with a Danish mom, but grew up in the US. He was eager to speak Danish to me. His vocabulary was limited and he spoke slowly, but remarkably he had very little accent. OTOH my grand mother, who is German, moved to Denmark as an adult, and despite living there for 30 years or more had a few words that she could not say without a heavy accent - sounds not present in German. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think that speaking some Japanese to the baby is great! And then you can make up your mind when/if to formally teach Japanese. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-31T18:19:56.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2014-07-31T19:49:10.253" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Specific personal experiences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother and I are 8 years apart (we are half siblings). &#xA;We never had any 'issues', but we also did not have anything much in common until we both had children. At this point my brother was more than 40! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and his sister are 3 years apart. They have a great relationships (as adults), and share many experiences. I am somewhat jealous at my husband and his relationship, and I think it comes from simply having more in common with respect to what you are dealing with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Growing up, I never played with my brother (except when a baby, apparently he 'kidnapped' me from my mom for ransom). My husband and his sister definitely had times they didn't get along, but the good outweighed the bad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My father &amp;amp; my uncle are 3 year apart. They played a lot together growing up, especially as teenagers. They are not as close as adults, for many reasons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom her brothers are 2, 5 years apart (2 &amp;amp; 3 years spacing). My mom has a great relationship with her brothers through adulthood, more antagonized when they were little. Due to various circumstances my uncles were in a boarding school, and my grandmother was a single mom, so the family dynamics might be a little different than other families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine's 2 eldest kids are 19 months apart. It was very hard for the parents, but the 2 kids at 8 &amp;amp; 9 are like pseudo twins - they do everything together. They are opposite gender, so who know what will happen when they are teens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids are  2 years, 4 months apart. They now 3 and 1, and our 3 year old handled the baby great. A friend of mine has the exact same spacing, and her oldest handled it less well. Who knows what will happen when they grow up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, from my &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; experiences, I would say that it really depends on the family dynamics, but I would personally rather have them closer together than farther apart, and give them a &lt;em&gt;chance&lt;/em&gt; at a great relationship by them being able to relate to the same things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-07-31T19:49:10.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14482" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-07-31T20:42:07.700" Score="1" ViewCount="511" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two sons. My older son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes. This friend is a good kid. My older son is upset that his friend is playing with his younger brother. My younger son really enjoys this friends company and they get along great. Is this okay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9479" LastActivityDate="2014-08-01T11:37:56.403" Title="My 13 year old son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes" Tags="|behavior|social-development|pre-teen|activities|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2014-08-01T02:03:35.920" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always ask my children to finish the term when they start something.  My five year old wanted to do gymnastics and suddenly didn't want any more.  Well, too bad, he is in for ten weeks anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I wouldn't force an activity on him or his sisters, if they didn't express an interest in it at all.  There are way too many things to try in life, and sports is really not important at all.  Decades ago we didn't have that many options, but we still managed to try many things.  If he isn't good at following a weekly class or whatever organised activity you could find, he could be very good at chasing snails in the backyard or building cubby houses out of scrap or inventing stories, and these skills will be much more useful to him. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I mean is that you can't possibly get him to try everything which would worthwhile, so how could you convince yourself/him that trying that one class is important?  Expose him to different things, bring him to sport events, show him videos on YouTube (that's how I got my son into capoeira ;)), and let him drop and try something different. You can't possibly ask a 5 year old (or a 10 year old for that matter) to enroll for a year, like I sometimes hear it happens in some families.  I wouldn't do it, so how could I ask it from a child?  But a bit of perseverance (depending on child's age and skills) can't hurt, as getting them responsible for their choice (it costs a lot, it requires organisation, etc etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-04T17:30:28.770" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T17:30:28.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14435" CreationDate="2014-08-01T02:35:49.187" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good ideas from Ida above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would add that maybe your child don't need to sleep as much as you think.  If he doesn't have a nap any more, then maybe it is still too early for him when you put in to bed.  When my kids were about that age, there has been a year or so when we had to put them to bed around 10 or 11pm. It sounds awful, but we couldn't do anything else.  I am talking about my two eldest children who were 15 months apart, so they always had quite a similar sleep pattern.  So we would try to put them to bed at 8 or 8.30pm (like in the books :p), and they would stand up, sing, call, cry, get us upset and every possible things, until it was about 10pm - at which time they would nicely fall asleep on their own!  So we decided that, well if it doesn't make a difference whether or not we spend two hours asking/singing/demanding, we may as well skip that awful time and just put them to bed at 10pm.  It worked greatly, we were all much more happy, we didn't feel bad, the kids have always been happy healthy good sleepers.  Before that weird 3-4yo, they were great sleepers and after that they became good sleepers again.  Now they go to bed nicely at 8.30pm and we never fight for these things. Of course, when they were indeed awake from 8 to 10pm, they would have only quiet activities, no screen, no music, no food, dim lights and mummy-daddy doing their own things. Sometimes I would even say &quot;OK I am going to bed now&quot;, both children still playing in the lounge room and they would look at me like that O_o and go to bed because they didn't want to be left alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It prevented us from watching movies for a while :), but that was worth it anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few things that you could think about too:  what does your child do before bedtime?  does he have time to finish what he was doing?  isn't he too excited anyway?  Things that I do in my house:&#xA;- no screen after 6pm (and limited screen anyway - like 20 minutes 3-4 times a week!)&#xA;- diner not too late (I'd say at least an hour before bedtime, possibly two hours, 7.30 diner as you mention would be very late for a 8.30 bedtime...)&#xA;- warnings (you finish your drawing and then...)&#xA;- bedtime chores regular but no rushing : we read books, brush our teeth, put on our PJs (no stress but strict enough about it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-08-01T02:35:49.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14417" CreationDate="2014-08-01T02:45:59.630" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may not quite answer your question, but I think it is related. Although I am not from the US, I feel like YES there you would be in trouble for whatever society believes is child-neglect.  And I think it is scary, I think people should be really worried now, are we really ready for that?  It sounds crazy. So at the end you would have to go on a trial or whatever legal stuff happens after child neglect and JUSTIFY, prove that you are not such a bad parent, that this and that were taken into account etc. So I would say, yes I am ready for that, I am ready for that fight and putting people in front of their stupidity is my biggest pleasure in life. And at the end it is not about law only, as you become parent you realise that you will have to prove all of that to everyone: the mother in law, the teacher, the neighbours, the complete stranger at the mall, every bloody people on Earth will feel like telling you what you should or shouldn't do.  So are you ready for that?  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7896" LastActivityDate="2014-08-01T02:45:59.630" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14482" CreationDate="2014-08-01T11:37:56.403" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think your older son really has a choice in being okay with it or not. If the friend and the younger child want to be friends, hang out, and do stuff together, your son can either tag along and be cool with it or find another friend. Your older son is not in possession of this friend. He's not a toy that he can refuse to let his younger brother borrow. Ultimately it's not up to either your older son or younger son, it's up to the friend. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went through the same thing with one of my siblings in dealing with a friend. I was in the same position as your older son. Initially, I pouted and made myself feel miserable while they were out and having a grand time. Eventually I realized that the only person who was mad was me. Finally I chose to hang out with them when they let me and all three of us had some pretty awesome times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastActivityDate="2014-08-01T11:37:56.403" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14488" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-01T13:19:37.263" Score="4" ViewCount="117" Body="&lt;p&gt;We currently have a 3-year-old daughter and twin 2-year-old boys.  We are both 32 years old and have decent jobs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have many reservations on having another child, but my wife does not seem to want to listen to the reasons I have these reservations, she only says she doesn't feel like she is done yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of my concerns are as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cost of Daycare (already pay $23,000/year)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;New house we built last year would not be big enough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Need different vehicles to fit 4 kids&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When they are older we will have to choose who's events we can go to and who to disappoint&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cost of school when they are older&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not having enough time with each of the kids to make them feel special&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not having any adult time &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Very hard to find baby sitter for 3 under three, it would be worse for 4.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My personal sanity (I have 2 jobs and no time to myself already)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Strain on our relationship (feel like roommates sometime instead of husband/wife)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could add quite a few more but I think you get the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please any advise will be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9483" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-08-01T14:19:42.237" LastActivityDate="2014-08-01T14:19:42.237" Title="My wife wants a 4th child but I don't" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2014-08-01T14:42:48.810" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14385" CreationDate="2014-08-01T17:54:56.467" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree very strongly with anongoodnurse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you're overreacting to your concern for this guy she's hanging around.  She didn't learn healthy relationships growing up, and even teenagers who have grown up observing healthy relationships have a tendency to fall into unhealthy, co-dependent, and abusive relationships once they go out and begin experimenting on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the relationship you've had with her up to this point has been open and honest and (overall) positive, I would think it would be in her and your best interest to keep it that way.  That means that you can't allow her to move in and suddenly jump on the &quot;parent&quot; band wagon.  Boundaries are necessary and should be expected, but &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can't be the one to make all of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience with teaching teenagers (and I always wound up with the troubled ones), I have found you need to convince them that the right course is what is best for them.  My rule always was:  If a teenager comes to talk to you about their relationship (in any capacity) then they probably want your advice but they don't want to ask for it.  So, having said that, make a list of the topics that need to be addressed before she moves in and have a meeting with her.  And be tactfully honest with her.  Tell her that there are some ground rules that need to be set before she moves in with you so that she is given the best opportunity to move forward in a positive way with her life and to put to rest some of your biggest concerns (take her out to dinner and discuss this over dinner.  People rarely make scenes in public).  Tell her that you know she lied to your mom and you can't have the same thing going on when she lives with you.  Discuss EVERYTHING with her from her responsibilities around the house, school attendance and school work, friends, and boyfriends.  You may as well put it out in the open.  She's 16.  She's going to have boyfriends.  I wouldn't explicitly say, &quot;We don't want you seeing this boy&quot; because, like you said, she'll get defensive and shut down.  So you might say, &quot;When you start seeing someone, we want to see him around our house, too.  You can't just go running off to his house all the time.  If he's important to you then we want to know him, too.  If you don't feel like you can bring him around here, then maybe you need to re-think your relationship.  And if we see evidence that he's abusing you in any way, we will press charges against him (can you do that in the UK?) because our primary concern is you and your safety.&quot;  She's a member of your household now and her input should be valued and taken seriously.  Plus, if he's at your house (and it sounds like he's has some problems of his own), then it gives you an opportunity to model appropriate behaviors around him and you could wind up being a positive role model for them both! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teenagers think they're adults and they want to be treated like an adult.  Sometimes they make bad decisions and sometimes that means that they wind up having to live with the consequences of their bad decisions.  But you will be surprised at how many teenagers will make the better decision.  Allowing her to be a part of setting up the rules will serve a two-fold purpose:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You'll all be calm and rational and not trying to set up these rules after something has happened and everyone is angry and emotional.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Because she has a say in the rule, she automatically has a stake in it.  If she breaks it, then all you can say is &quot;You agreed to this rule.  If it's no longer acceptable then let's plan a meeting and revise the rule.&quot;  But that still means she has to be held accountable for breaking the rule that time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help her understand that the rules are to help her make the most of this &quot;new start&quot; she's been given.  You're not trying to keep her away from her friends or anything like that, but you all have to acknowledge that her past has been rough and probably not as structured as it should have been.  Above all you want her to feel safe and loved while not squelching her freedom or making her think she's a &quot;bad&quot; kid because nothing you've said about her makes her sound like she's a trouble-maker.  The boundaries are as much for her benefit to keep her safe as it is to put your minds at ease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastEditorUserId="2272" LastEditDate="2014-08-01T22:00:08.997" LastActivityDate="2014-08-01T22:00:08.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14491" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-02T03:10:03.050" Score="-9" ViewCount="2371" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were informed yesterday by our 5 year old granddaughter that mommy and this other woman were naked and kissing on the lips. This is the first we have ever heard or known about this. She has always had boyfriends and has never shown lesbian behavior. Not only that but this woman about 50 and my granddaughter is about 30, is homeless, bald head with a swastika on the back, big drug addict. Should we call CPS?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9490" LastActivityDate="2017-05-08T01:19:54.423" Title="30 year old granddaugter in lesbian relationship and I was told about this by her 5 year old child" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2014-10-04T23:08:54.530" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14491" CreationDate="2014-08-02T04:06:02.717" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Who is homeless, your daughter or her girlfriend? Is your granddaughter homeless?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any reason to assume you granddaughter is in any danger other than your personal distaste of her choice of her mother's companion? Because if you don't have any reason to suspect abuse, all you'll be doing is saddling your daughter with a false accusation and cutting off any influence you have and likely never see your granddaughter again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-08-05T02:41:41.243" LastActivityDate="2014-08-05T02:41:41.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14491" CreationDate="2014-08-02T12:44:25.340" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;No. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, from your post, there is no indication of abuse occurring, assuming the child seeing the naked kissing was on accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, your granddaughter is allowed to date anyone at any age or of any gender, race, or creed she wants. She's 30 which is 12 years past being a legal adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lack of evidence of abuse won't fly for CPS. A lesbian relationship is also irrelevant in the context of child rearing. It's not contagious; it's not a disease. Don't treat it like one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4348" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2017-05-08T01:19:54.423" LastActivityDate="2017-05-08T01:19:54.423" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14491" CreationDate="2014-08-02T16:22:04.130" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question needs some clarification but here's my answer. What is the reason that you think you need to call CPS? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention finding out that your daughter is gay from her daughter. Is the issue that she is gay? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also imply that she is a neo-nazi, homeless and a drug addict. She was these things before and you didn't feel the need to intercede. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only things that would raise a flag to me is if she was having sex (what I assume you imply by &quot;naked and kissing&quot;) in front of her daughter. Gay or straight that's not appropriate. Of course she wouldn't be the first kid to walk in on 2 adults being intimate. Not something that requires CPS. Maybe something that needs some honest communication. Expressing concern that your daughter wasn't being discreet and that her daughter saw them being intimate wouldn't be out of line. If she didn't know that your grand-daughter witnessed them that's resolves that issue. If she did, and explained what she and her partner were doing, and told her daughter to knock on the door first, again problem solved. If she was having sex blatantly in front of her kid, then that's something else entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if your only objection is that she is gay, and somehow that means her child is in danger, then you are wrong. There are a number of other things that you imply with your question that might be risk factors, but suddenly finding out that she is gay does not make her a bad parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2014-08-02T16:22:04.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2014-08-02T23:21:14.367" Score="-8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Old post, but I'll still add if this could help someone. I am surprised to see that you did not even discuss children before getting married. Anyway, that stage has gone. You should have stopped at 2 itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to put your foot down. Ask her how does having 3 kids make the family small and 4 make it big, i.e big enough to be satisfactory ? If logic does not help, then go for marriage counselling. If that is too expensive, then put your foot down and tell her that she needs to be realistic. You have dreams too. If you have too many kids, then how will you get the time to pursue those dreams ? Tell her that she needs to consider your needs and aspirations too (i.e she is being selfish). Period. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I am not saying that your wife will do this, but it is a possibility. Some women will use sabotage to get pregnant and later expect you to not abort the pregnancy. A skipped birth control pill, poking holes in a condom, picking up a freshly discarded condom, getting you to have sex when you are drunk etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Video evidence:&lt;/strong&gt; Ask Wendy show. I want another baby - &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CNHwhHWPoQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CNHwhHWPoQ&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also listen to &lt;code&gt;Tom Leykis&lt;/code&gt;. He has a free internet radio show. &lt;strong&gt;Although I don't agree with all his &quot;teachings&quot; about women&lt;/strong&gt;, he has just the advice to deal with the kind of woman you have for a wife. That is, the women who are selfish, unrealistic and do not respect the man they are with. Do not judge him by his looks. Listen to him and decide if his advice would be useful to you. Call him if you want. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider getting a &lt;code&gt;vasectomy&lt;/code&gt; sometime in the future so that you are safe from such irrational demands. If you do, then ensure that your sperm count is zero some time after&#xA;the procedure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/BmWST.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7078" LastEditorUserId="7078" LastEditDate="2014-08-02T23:59:04.667" LastActivityDate="2014-08-02T23:59:04.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14497" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-03T12:28:40.770" Score="1" ViewCount="282" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is 13 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We give her a combination of healthy but bland foods. We do not add any spice and have stopped adding sugar since we noticed that it doesn't matter to her. We add salt &lt;em&gt;sometimes&lt;/em&gt; in her food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that the toddler isn't least bothered even if the same bland food is repeatedly given to her throughout the day as long as the food is warm and is fed through a bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She spends around 5 hours in the daycare is fed non-bland food by a spoon there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I be bothered?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T16:37:54.820" Title="The toddler isn't bothered with the bland food. Should I be bothered?" Tags="|toddler|diet|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14498" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-03T12:46:27.993" Score="5" ViewCount="814" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that the fear of dark, once sets in, doesn't leave easily.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toddler is 13 months old. She starts crying if left alone when the light goes off at night. She clings to me as long as the light doesn't come back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if the other rooms are properly lit and she's not alone in the house, she doesn't dare to enter the kitchen if its dark. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mentioned kitchen because it is attached to our living room. Last time when she was playing with a toy, the toy ran in the kitchen accidentally. I was sitting besides her and I told her to go in the kitchen and bring the toy. Instead, she just sat near the kitchen door and started crying while pointing towards the toy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I lit the kitchen she went and brought the toy out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This toddler can run and climb on the sofas, beds, and the window grills, and neither she's  afraid of heights and fast swings etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW, I am 31 years old and quite afraid of the dark.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2017-01-10T15:56:37.717" LastActivityDate="2017-07-02T09:18:10.723" Title="How to encourage the toddler to not to be frightened of the dark?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|fears|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14499" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14705" CreationDate="2014-08-03T12:54:24.617" Score="5" ViewCount="6625" Body="&lt;p&gt;We weened our 7 month old daughter off using a pacifier at night about 2-3 weeks ago. When using the pacifier, she sleep well (once she was asleep). Since getting rid of it, she sleeps through the night on some nights, but most nights, she is waking up every 1-2 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the nights when she is waking up frequently, if &lt;em&gt;my wife&lt;/em&gt; picks her up, she won't calm down until she is breastfed (although this seems to be for comfort, not need). If &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; pick her up, she falls asleep in my arms &lt;em&gt;almost instantly&lt;/em&gt;. If I can put her back down without waking her up, she'll stay asleep for another 1-2 hours. If I do wake her up putting her back down, picking her up causes her to fall back to sleep immediately again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she wakes up, it usually starts with a whine, then turns into crying. My wife is opposed to letting her cry it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have tips on avoiding this situation continue or determining why she is waking up? Obviously this is not a habit that we want to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited: To clarify that this was a change in behavior since being weened off pacifiers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9494" LastEditorUserId="9494" LastEditDate="2014-08-03T15:01:37.100" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T06:18:25.490" Title="7 month old is waking up frequently to be picked up" Tags="|sleep|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14500" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-03T14:59:01.270" Score="2" ViewCount="257" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does a newborn infant of 2 wk get enough nutrition from the breast milk which is also fed to a older child of one year in tandem nursing?&#xA;Our pediatrician said that the better quality milk made for newborn is unnecessarily taken up by the older child, which may cause the newborn to not get the sufficient  nutrition. But the local La leche representative did not object to tandem nursing and allowed it. So what are the evidence based guidelines , pros and cons of tandem nursing infants of different ages?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also the older child is now  even more interested in breastfeeding then ever before on seeing her sibling feed , this inspite of the older child getting enough external foods. The older child feeds more frequently and for longer duration clearly showing  competing behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4058" LastEditorUserId="4058" LastEditDate="2014-08-06T12:56:32.387" LastActivityDate="2014-08-06T12:56:32.387" Title="Tandem nursing infants of different ages" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14497" CreationDate="2014-08-03T22:10:45.437" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why would you expect your toddler to be bothered?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies tastes develop over time - at first the are focused on sweet flavours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What commonly happens is that the child starts to be less interested in their food, so you add in new flavours and textures over time. Doing this helps build their acceptance of tastes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But for now, as long as your baby is getting the right balance of nutrients, you should not worry about what it tastes like. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You really &lt;strong&gt;should not&lt;/strong&gt; add salt to children's meals though - this point is strongly emphasised by medical professionals. Even a small amount of salt can cause problems,  so unless you live somewhere incredibly hot and local custom is to add salt to replace those lost by sweating, children just don't need it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some references (thanks Ida and Greg):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some references: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/nutrition/Pages/Feeding-and-Nutrition-Your-One-Year-Old.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;AAP&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Also, don’t give him foods that are heavily spiced, salted, buttered, or sweetened. These additions prevent your child from experiencing the natural taste of foods, and they may be harmful to his long-term good health &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/what-and-how-much-to-feed-your-toddler?page=3&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children should become accustomed at a young age to the natural flavors of food rather than to a salty taste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, UK NHS say &amp;lt;1g salt per day for under 1s: &lt;a href=&quot;http://nhs.uk/chq/Pages/824.aspx?CategoryID=51&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;nhs.uk/chq/Pages/824.aspx?CategoryID=51&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2014-08-12T15:52:47.093" LastActivityDate="2014-08-12T15:52:47.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14502" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14503" CreationDate="2014-08-04T06:22:44.010" Score="4" ViewCount="16460" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought milk powder for my 2-year-old boy and forgot it in the car for a day. Usually the car is locked and parked outside. The car becomes hot inside as the temperature in my area is nearly 40 degrees (Celsius) during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will this effect the milk? Can I use that milk powder for my baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9497" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-08-04T12:02:39.200" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T12:43:06.783" Title="Is milk powder left in a hot car going to go bad?" Tags="|formula|milk|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14502" CreationDate="2014-08-04T08:10:23.337" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;So long as it's only powder and not made up then that's fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can say that pretty confidently as when it is manufactured it is turned from a liquid product into powder using a process called spray drying and that even a 'cool' process will be quite a bit hotter than 40 deg!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a walkthrough of the facilities used to produce infant formula, GEA Process Engineering have a an article on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.niroinc.com/drying_dairy_food/production_powdered_baby_food.asp&quot;&gt;Production of powdered baby food&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your biggest concern with infant formula is bacteria and they need food, moisture, warmth and time to grow.  The drying process stops bacterial growth by removing the moisture so while the powdered milk remains a powder (and uncontaminated by water) it can be subjected to extreme conditions without becoming a health risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2014-08-04T12:43:06.783" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T12:43:06.783" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2385" CreationDate="2014-08-04T09:58:01.977" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am old school. I am also involved in special education. It is my opinion, that Babies need nutrition for brain development, learning &amp;amp; motor skills. If the baby is in the low percentile weight wise I would feed the baby and not let the baby go more than 7-8 hrs &quot;at night&quot; without a feeding. Infants need to be fed during the day, they need to learn days vs nights. I would wake a baby to feed them. Feed Infants 3- 4 hrs. Babies can eat with their eyes closed, you do not have to talk to them or disturb their sleep, they will naturally feed if given the opportunity. Some babies fall asleep while eating, we used to rub the bottom of our child's feet and they would start sucking again. I believe, nutrition is important for infants, not because they are hungry but because of development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9499" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T09:58:01.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7618" CreationDate="2014-08-04T12:51:16.923" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went through this in my early 20s. I ended up breaking it to my parents when my non-Christian boyfriend proposed to me and I said yes. It was very hard to disappoint them but it does get easier with time. It basically ended my emotional relationship with my parents, though they are still in my life. I'm 35 now and have 2 children of my own. It does get easier with time, as you become more established in who you are as your own person and feel ok about the path you have chosen (or that has chosen you). It's still an ongoing issue. They don't witness to me quite as much as they used to but they still try once a year or so. I know they are in continual anguish over the state of my soul, but it has become somewhat amusing to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9501" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T12:51:16.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14506" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14511" CreationDate="2014-08-04T17:31:47.997" Score="0" ViewCount="127" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old daughter is over 42&quot; tall and was 36 lbs. when last weighed.  I am hoping to find a booster seat for children under 40 lbs., since I have a need for one that could be moved easily between cars, especially short-term rentals.  My state (California) does not have a minimum weight for using booster seats, so my concern is the minimum weight specified by manufacturers.  All of the booster seats I've found so far have had a minimum weight of 40 lbs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2426" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T16:15:48.480" Title="Are there any car seats recommended for tall children under 40 lbs" Tags="|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14499" CreationDate="2014-08-04T17:37:19.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most simple answer would be to restore the pacifier. Pacifier use up until &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/408_when-should-my-baby-stop-using-a-pacifier_1368496.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;12 months or longer isn't any issue&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the only thing that has changed is the pacifier let them keep using it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with most things in life you have to make a choice. Is sleeping through the night, for you, your wife and you child more important than the reason you decided to ween them off the pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's hard to go back, all the work and effort to getting rid of it, but in the long run there may be less impact from letting them have it and more upside to better sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T17:37:19.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14499" CreationDate="2014-08-04T17:50:21.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know a lot of people say 'by so and so age, a baby should be able to sleep through the night'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, almost every parent I know have reported their babies wake up at least one time a night until 12 months, many longer. (What I suspect is that they don't NEED food at night from a medical standpoint, which tiny babies does).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your wife picks up the baby, the baby smells food, and will be hungry. She doesn't know it is the middle of the night, so she will be hungry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go back to pacifier&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stick it out a little longer with picking up and calming. If she was sleeping with the pacifier, she was soothing herself with it, and now she doesn't know how. I would think she would be able to learn it. I would let her cry maybe 2-3 min, then go pick her up. (I am opposed to crying it out too, like your wife, but sometimes they need a little time to go back to sleep on their own). I would see if you could comfort her without picking her up too (pat on back etc - never worked with my kids, works great with some). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T17:50:21.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14506" CreationDate="2014-08-04T17:56:21.150" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you looked at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.britaxusa.com/car-seats&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Britax Combination Harness to Booster&lt;/a&gt; (scroll down to see). They can be used from 25 lbs as a 5-point seat, and as a shoulder belt booster later. &#xA;This means they are pretty tall. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.britaxusa.com/car-seats/pinnacle-90&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This one&lt;/a&gt;, for instance, say it can be used from 30-56 inches &amp;amp; 25-90 lbs as a harness seat, and from 45-62 inches &amp;amp; 40-125 lbs as shoulder belt booster. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that you have looked at backless boosters only, since you wanted to move it easily between cars. However, if the car's LATCH/ISOFIX anchors are easily accessible, they this seat is VERY fast to install. We have travelled with it, and it was no big deal to install it in the rental. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-09-22T16:15:48.480" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T16:15:48.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14498" CreationDate="2014-08-04T18:28:25.693" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;13 months is not that old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 14 month old cries if left alone in a room too long, period! (aka more than 5 min unless he is deeply engrossed in stacking something)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;have you considered:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When she is in her room in the dark, it is separation anxiety and not fear of the dark? Does she cry when if the light is still on?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How does she react to low light, like a night lamp? That is quite common for babies, and kids, to have, and doesn't mean they will fear the dark when older.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are you afraid when sitting with her in the dark? She probably picks up on your non-verbal clues. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For going and picking up toys: She probably hasn't walked for very long, maybe she is worried about falling?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is she maybe afraid of going in there alone? What if you goes with her in the dark?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;lastly, have you considered an eyesight issue? Maybe she just doesn't see as well in the dark as she should? Some people have very bad night vision/&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that most 13 months old are afraid of being alone, and see what happens if you look at it from that angle. Not being afraid of climbing and jumping off things has more to do with in-ability to understand the consequences - I have not personally seen caution as a trait in kids until 2 years of age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T18:28:25.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14500" CreationDate="2014-08-04T18:51:13.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbtandem.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;La Leche League&lt;/a&gt; has a lot of info on tandem nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/tandem.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tandem Nursing FAQ&lt;/a&gt; states: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Some mothers express concern that their toddler may be taking milk meant to nourish their baby. These mothers may take comfort in the fact that breasts are marvelous things that can adjust their production to meet the demands placed upon them--if they are asked to produce enough milk for two, they usually can! Also, most toddlers breastfeed considerably less frequently than an infant, and get most of their nutrition from other foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I have not done tandem nursing, I can't speak to the specific pros and cons, but I don't think you should worry about your infants nutrition. In addition, while I couldn't find a good source, I believe you only produce colostrum for the first 2-3 days, and you mention the baby is 2 weeks already. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-08-04T19:23:49.643" LastActivityDate="2014-08-04T19:23:49.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14514" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-04T19:14:01.727" Score="13" ViewCount="4890" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son turned seven two months ago, and will begin his second year in elementary school after this summer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday he received a love letter by one of his class mates, a girl of the same age. She wrote that she is in love with him and asked if they could meet in secret. She also asked him not to tell their class mates or parents. I learned of the letter, because I was sitting at the table with my son when we opened the day's mail, but I suspect he would have told me anyway, because he was clearly out of his depth with that declaration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might think the whole matter cute, but the problem is that my son vaguely dislikes this girl and at the same time is the kind of person who strongly feels the pain of others and does not want to hurt her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The girl lives two houses away from us and visited the same kindergarten as my son. When we moved here, four years ago, we tried to get the two kids to befriend each other and went to the playground, swimming and elsewhere a couple of times with the other family. The girl very much liked and wanted to spend time with my son right from the beginning. But my son soon lost interest in her as he made other friends, and his initial openness slowly turned into a mild form of dislike as he realized a basic incompatibility between them, yet she kept attempting to connect with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is quite popular with his peers, and he has a score of close and favourite friends, about a third of which are girls. The girl in question, on the other hand, appears to have only a few, exclusively female, friends. My son and his friends are of course interested in each other's physical differences and show their private parts to each other when they believe no adults are watching, but as yet none of them have shown any signs of attempts at romantic love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Against this background the love letter is doubly incongruous: because my son is not yet interested in girls in this way, and because he is not interested in this girl even as a friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since my son did not know how to deal with this letter, I helped him compose a reply. I thought and told him a reply is a necessary courtesy and that he should make his disinterest in a romantic relationship unmistakeably clear. I'm the kind of person who immediately gets cured of an infatuation upon being refused, so I try to quickly set those free who are unlucky enough to fall in love with me and not encounter a corresponding feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To my surprise my son also said he would be willing (not interested!) to go swimming with the girl. So he added that offer to the reply. He went and put his letter in the girl's mailbox this morning. Her reply promptly arrived around lunch: she asks if he wants to go swimming tomorrow, which is fine, but covered the letter in lipstick kisses, which clearly shows that she did not understand (or believe) my son's refusal and that she lives in a fantasy world quite unlike that of my son, in which love letters covered in kisses don't yet exist. He knows of love, of course, but in his conception it is something that adults do and he is interested in it in the same way that he is interested in where money comes from or what cancer is: as something that does not directly affect him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is gone for two weeks now and won't receive the girl's second letter before he returns. I have called the girl's mother and told her that my son won't be able to go swimming with her daughter tomorrow (and nothing else).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the question remains how he (and I) should deal with this matter. I am worried that the girl will keep pressing for my son's affection and make both herself and him unhappy with her dependence. But should I interfere? Should I tell the girl's parents and hope they will be able to help her accept my son's disinterest and turn her desire for, I guess, friendship to more likely candidates? What kind of advice can I give him, who is not only not interested in this girl, but also not even interested in the problem of love, and now has to deal with emotions that are not part of his current stage of development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was so unsure about this that I did not do anything at all at that time. The summer holidays and a lengthy trip came on between the two kids going swimming together, and then I forgot about it all until, a few weeks ago, a second letter arrived. I hesitated to deliver it and put it among my paperwork, where it remains unopened and unread. I felt and still feel that the letters take this all to a different level and put more pressure on my son than he deserves. The two kids are in the same class, so they meet and interact almost daily, and twice in the intervening time my son came home telling me that that girl is in love with him, and after a short pause, but he not with her. Then he proceeded to tell me that another boy from his class is in love with another girl, but she not with him either. And then he turned to other, more immediate matters. So I feel that it is not such a big issue after all, neither for him nor the girl, and I do not interfere as long as it remains so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2018-04-01T22:00:15.780" LastActivityDate="2018-04-01T22:00:15.780" Title="How to help a seven year old with unrequited love?" Tags="|primary-schooler|relationships|friends|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14517" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-04T21:50:22.227" Score="5" ViewCount="2252" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: Question title. (What is a fair way to punish a sibling who unintentionally erases another's Saved Game?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;del&gt;So this question could (should?) perhaps be posted on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/&quot;&gt;Parenting&lt;/a&gt;, but I thought users here might have some personal experience with this.&lt;/del&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recall two incidents from my childhood where I erased my younger brother's saved games, both times unintentionally (in my mind).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time was when I somehow deleted all the files for &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SimTown&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;SimTown&lt;/a&gt;.  Game files, saved games, and all.  We re-installed the game, but no saves to be found.  My brother was devastated and demanded my &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roller_Coaster_Tycoon&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Roller Coaster Tycoon&lt;/a&gt; files be erased in retribution.  My parents did not think that erasing save files for a game I'd played many more hours on was fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward a couple years and we're at daycare beefing up the kids starting lineups with the 3 starter Pokemon for &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pokemon_Red&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Red and Blue&lt;/a&gt;.  I was the cool kid with the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00AYQRGFW&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;link cable&lt;/a&gt; that let us trade, and I volunteered to get everyone set.  Not even considering that there is only one save file and that to make a trade you need to save, I overwrote my brother's 100+ Pokedex to trade a Charmander for a Rattata.  This horrific act again resulted in no punishment for me, but I did offer to help my brother with a new game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking back, I got off easy.  I would have been pretty vengeful if I had been my little brother, and maybe that's why we aren't close today (or because he lives a couple hundred miles away) and he's not the gamer type.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, that leaves me wondering what an appropriate punishment would have been?  Is erasing the saves of the offending sibling really making things &quot;fair?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be an appropriate punishment these days?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Just to clarify, both of these cases were unintentional.  The first one due to not understanding how to properly use a computer at the age of 8, the second time just forgetting (and not reading the warning message) that you have to erase the saved game to do the trade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9514" OwnerDisplayName="Krjax" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2021-08-07T15:28:10.957" Title="What is a fair way to punish a sibling who unintentionally erases another's Saved Game?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14517" CreationDate="2014-08-05T08:34:40.040" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd ask the erasee how much time will it take him to reach the same progress in that game, multiply it by 1,5 and make that amount of time his exclusive, solo play time. The child which erased the saves should not be able to play until that time passed, unless the other kid allowed him to play coop - but still never allow solo play even if the other kid allowed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The punishment should also depend on the &quot;value&quot; of those saves. I mean, there are some games in which progress is extremely difficult and frustrating and it requires a lot of patience and skill. If the child required a lot of self-motivation to reach the particular place in a game, the punishment for the other one should be severe. If the game was a sandbox (like Sim City you mentioned) and the cities got deleted, the harm done is probably smaller (but it really depends on the child's reaction).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to play Captain Tsubasa on a NES clone. It was in japanese, I had to learn the characters by heart - which does what, I mean, I never learned the language. To keep my progress, I had to copy like 50 characters to a sheet of paper and input them after turning on the console again. Losing (or improper character copying) that save was really, really, really frustrating. Had my brother destroyed it on purpose I would've been furious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-08-05T08:34:40.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14514" CreationDate="2014-08-05T08:48:00.753" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that your son and the girl are incapable of understanding love as we understand it - and we adults are just as incapable of understanding of what is going on in their heads and hearts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not tell the parents immediately. They may overreact. See how the situation evolves. Also, they may already know (though the lipstick kisses on the letter make it seem improbable).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is willing, I would allow them to spend some time together, get to know each other better. It will most probably not be a start of a romance, but it could be the beginning of a great friendship. But be near and supervise, so they don't do anything stupid (even such young kids can, supposedly).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son strongly dislikes the girl... I have no idea what to do;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell your son that he doesn't have to love her back, but he should be &quot;adult&quot; about it and not push her away. Take advantage of the situation and explain that real relationships often begin with one person being more interested than the other - they grow to really like each other, and then they fall in love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-08-05T11:13:59.167" LastActivityDate="2014-08-05T11:13:59.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14517" CreationDate="2014-08-05T13:20:00.310" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's always important to make sure that discipline and punishment don't become tools that the kids use against each other. Having a punishment of one child shouldn't be a reward to the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing that raises a red flag here is the fact that you state it was unintentional. I'm not sure that punishing someone for an accident is a proper precedent to set. Accidents should be opportunities to learn lessons and safety, being careful and taking responsibility not a place for punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean that it shouldn't go un-addressed. Making sure that the &quot;victim&quot; understands that it was an accident and the the &quot;perp&quot; understands that there was still a loss involved should be the goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, from my experience with my 2 boys (3 &amp;amp; 8) I would want to stress that it is just a game. Not that it isn't irritating to lose your game history and saved data, but it's hardly a tragedy of Shakespearean proportion. And I think it is good to teach kids that somethings are important and something aren't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my family upgraded from our Wii to our Wii-U last fall, I didn't move all the game data from the old one to the new one. The first time my oldest went to play a game he didn't have his saved data. He flew off the handle. I apologized, and explained what happened but made sure that he understood that it's just a game. It's supposed to be fun, and like they say, sometimes sh*t happens. He thought about it for a little bit and then said &quot;That's OK, now I can try and do better on all the levels&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I'd suggest don't punish for an accident, but help learn about the consequences of our actions despite out intentions, and in this case, stress that it's just a game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2014-08-05T13:20:00.310" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14517" CreationDate="2014-08-05T15:40:51.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In most situations, if the act is unintentional and there aren't dangerous consequences, I think the appropriate punishment is to make the kid apologize for what they did.  In this case, it's just a game, so that seems like an appropriate punishment to me.  It's also reinforcing the proper way to handle a situation when you unintentionally do something that would upset someone else, so hopefully in the future, they naturally apologize when such a thing happens.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In situations where the kid did something unintentionally, but their act could have resulted in greater harm, especially in those cases where the kid was being careless and should have known better, I might consider a harsher punishment.  For instance, kids forgetting and leaving their toys lying on the stairs where someone could have tripped and fell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9164" LastActivityDate="2014-08-05T15:40:51.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14517" CreationDate="2014-08-05T15:48:12.647" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, a saved game might seem like a trivial loss to an adult.  In fact, I purposely destroy mine after a certain point, because I enjoy the challenge of having limited resources again.  However, kids use the trivial things to learn how to handle the big things.  Saved games also represent a significant investment of time, so treating them as valuable validates the child's feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Accidents happen, and are usually not cause for punishment (unless it was reckless), but for &lt;em&gt;restitution&lt;/em&gt;.  Think of how you handle accidents as an adult and apply the same principles to encourage the child to make it right.  Additionally, you want children to think about ways to prevent it from happening again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the context of a saved game, I would require the offender to do as much as possible to help the victim get back to the point they were before the loss.  For different games that means different things.  It might be as simple as a trade, or it might mean playing on the other person's account instead of their own until they get back to a certain point.  That's assuming the victim doesn't want the fun of starting over from scratch for themselves.  Then talk about ways to keep it from happening again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my seven year-old son just started playing Minecraft with me a month or two ago.  It's his first real video game and he isn't very good at it yet.  If you play Minecraft you probably know what accident I'm talking about:  a creeper explosion.  They happen even to experienced adult players, and my son was blowing holes in other people's builds quite a bit.  It's not the same as losing an entire saved game, but it's still a loss for another player.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So first of all, I require him to make it right.  That means filling the hole and repairing the damage as best he can.  Then we talked about ways to keep it from happening again.  He is supposed to sleep at night, or stay far away from buildings. I built him an obsidian &quot;danger room&quot; to help him get better at fighting without endangering structures.  I also gave him some better armor than he could get on his own, so he won't usually die and is therefore in a better position to make restitution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now I am obviously giving him a lot of help, which might seem like a reward, but mostly I'm equipping him to be a more socially responsible player.  When he gets older and more capable, I will require him to take these sorts of steps on his own and sacrifice more of his own resources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-08-05T15:48:12.647" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14348" CreationDate="2014-08-05T18:32:26.737" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have any real 'evidence' for this, but my nephew used to do the same thing. When he was being potty trained, he would go hide in a corner and poop his pants instead of in the toilet, which baffled us completely. He used to hide when wearing a diaper too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day though, he walked in on his grandma in the bathroom and asked what she was doing, so she replied that she was pooping. He was shocked and said &quot;Grandma no poop. Only me poop&quot;.  From this, we learned that he was embarrassed and ashamed of his poop because he thought he was the only one doing it. This caused him to hide.  Once we convinced him that we all do it and it's okay, he stopped hiding and used the toilet properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think toddlers are very familiar with the concept of going pee, but poop tends to confuse them. On a different answer somewhere around here, someone mentioned that their daughter was afraid to poop in the toilet because she was worried about &quot;where the poop went&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We as adults tend to hide this part of ourselves, even though it is completely natural. Maybe remembering to tell toddlers that it is natural will calm them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, pooping requires a bit of focus. Infants can't really crawl away and hide, so they do it wherever they happen to be. Toddlers might just want to find a corner where they can poop in peace without distraction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4652" LastActivityDate="2014-08-05T18:32:26.737" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14524" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-05T21:18:26.590" Score="3" ViewCount="151" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old is quite happy to sit on potty or toilet but won't go. He will go in his training pants and hides when doing a poo. How do we get him to go?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9516" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-25T20:33:34.323" LastActivityDate="2018-10-25T20:33:34.323" Title="How to potty train my 3-year-old, who likes to sit on the potty but doesn't go?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14524" CreationDate="2014-08-06T10:51:07.200" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Potty training is all about rewards, not punishment or pressure. Your child needs to want to use the potty, so you need to think about what will motivate him to do it. The reward needs to be immediate, not long term. I've found TV or using apps on a tablet to be the best motivators, when my children did a pee in the potty they got to watch a short program like Octonauts, Dora the Explorer, and the like. If they did a poo they got a movie or a longer TV program. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once that was working I would gradually move the goalposts. At first if any pee went into the potty they got TV, eventually it was only if they did a pee in the potty with none in their underpants did they get TV. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another great reward is a star chart, a pee gets a silver star while a poo gets a gold. Many children do really well with star charts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course praise is the best motivator of all. The first time he does a pee in the potty make a really big deal out of it. Tell him what a big boy he is, call his grandparents and tell them about it, get them to tell them what a big boy he is and how proud they are of him. Let him pour the contents into the toilet and flush it, because that's what big boys do, that sort of thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever happens be patient, and don't get angry when he doesn't do it. You want everything around the potty to be positive, and non-pressured. Don't get in a battle of wills, and don't lose your cool. It's easier said than done I know! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2014-08-06T10:51:07.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14528" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-06T12:45:50.110" Score="2" ViewCount="68471" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3-month-old child. My pediatrician told me that you shouldn't let a baby sleep through the night until she/he is at least 4 months old. Even if they are gaining weight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But my little one from day one had a different opinion. I turn on my alarm clock to make sure I get up to feed him. But every once and a while I don't hear my alarm clock and I wake up feeling like the worst mother for letting him sleep 8 hours! He has been gaining weight perfectly, weighing about 13 lbs now. He takes just a few quick naps during the day and eats almost every hour-two during the day until his bedtime at 8-9pm. I feed him at 9pm and again at 1-2am and then at 5-6am. But last night I didn't wake at 2am but at 5:30, and this has happened a few times. I also have a 20-month-old who would sleep through the night from the first month. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could it just be that my kids like to sleep during the night? And why can't we let them sleep that long? I grew up always hearing &quot;Never wake a sleeping baby!&quot; Did they just mean during their nap?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9521" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-19T13:54:20.923" LastActivityDate="2019-02-19T13:54:20.923" Title="Is it ok to let my 3-month-old sleep through the night?" Tags="|infant|sleep|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2014-08-08T12:46:38.820" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14531" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14576" CreationDate="2014-08-06T15:21:53.880" Score="9" ViewCount="410" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't get nearly as much one on one time with my daughter as I would like or nearly as much as my wife has with her since my wife is a SAHM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I knew it was only a matter of time before my 2 yo started doing &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; before I left for work. But I had always assumed it would be tears or something....&quot;big&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, when I ask her for a hug and a kiss before I leave for work in the morning, she simply disengages and lies on her tummy and hides her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It breaks my heart to watch and it's unclear to me what exactly is going on or how to handle this in a healthy way. I don't know if I should follow her and maybe tickle her to make her laugh - because that could be denying her the space to have her honest reaction. Or if I should leave her be and let her mope a bit - because that might be too cold/calloused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that if she were crying, I could simply hold her and let her cry and when she calmed down a bit I could tell her about how we'll be able to play when I get home but have a responsibility to my coworkers and boss at work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but this is...less tangible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice here would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE &#xA;This seems worth adding:&#xA;&quot;I'm not trying to keep her from being sad, no. What I want is for her to fully experience her sadness and see that the world isn't ending. But I feel that she's already trying to hide from what's happening by hiding her face the way she is.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2077" LastEditorUserId="2077" LastEditDate="2014-08-08T08:21:32.360" LastActivityDate="2014-08-17T02:52:43.960" Title="2 yo sad when I leave for work in the mornings" Tags="|working-parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14514" CreationDate="2014-08-06T18:30:35.157" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is one of those situations where the saying, &quot;Girls mature faster than boys&quot; really comes into play.  Your son has zero interest in girls beyond that of friendship right now, which is exactly what I would expect out of a seven-year-old boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, the little girl has obviously hit the stage where she's starting to become more interested in boys.  I can remember having my first crush on a boy at around that same age (he was older--8--and his name was Shane Pinture.  And I just thought he hung the moon...) so what she's experiencing isn't &lt;em&gt;abnormal&lt;/em&gt; for girls her age, either.  It took a lot of guts for her to write that love letter as evidenced by her request that he not tell their classmates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly, the little girl has not understood the message that your son is not interested in her.  I appreciate your encouraging him to respond to her, but those first crushes are tough and it's easy for young girls to cling to any shred of evidence that their crush is really interested in them and simply too shy to admit it (I know, this sounds really dumb).  It sounds like this is what you've got on your hands now.  Letting people down easy is great in adult relationships, but childhood crushes aren't quite as nuanced.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think, if it were my son, I would do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has all ready committed to going swimming with her, and he should keep that commitment.  Why?  Because when we make commitments, we keep them.  Monitor them closely so that if it becomes apparent that the little girl is &quot;fawning&quot; over your son and embarrassing him, you can swoop in and give him an out.  You're the parent; that's what you do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain to your son (if you haven't done so all ready) that it took a lot of courage for this girl to write this letter, not knowing how he would respond to her.  He should absolutely not tell his classmates about the letter.  Since he's not interested in girls yet, he probably has zero interest in doing so anyway.  One of these days, the situation will be reversed and it will be him espousing his love to someone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the little girl continues to write him letters after the swimming play-date, I would simply ignore them.  Any response (even if it's just to say &quot;Let's just be friends&quot;) is likely to just lead her on.  A lack of response will eventually be met with realization and acceptance on her part.  She might wind up thinking your son is mean, but if he doesn't like her anyway then there's really no harm done is there?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reinforce to your son that it is never appropriate for anyone to ask him to meet them in secret.  I'm sure the little girl meant no harm, has seen it on a show or movie, and just thought it sounded romantic so she threw it in there, but once your son gets older and does start expressing an interest in relationships you'll probably want to be able to monitor him more closely.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the letters continue after the play-date, you should probably tell her parents.  They might be able to make her understand when you or your son can't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-08-06T18:30:35.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14533" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14549" CreationDate="2014-08-06T18:59:36.323" Score="7" ViewCount="1649" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our six-year-old daughter is the eldest of 3 girls: her sisters are 3 years, and 3 months respectively. At varying points during the day she will flare up with rage; the triggers can be play-related (sharing, something not going as expected); conversation-related (us not understanding her, or making decisions she doesn't like); or sibling-related (annoyed by her middle sister). They're strong outbursts: screaming, throwing herself around and lashing out verbally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Between the outbursts she's loving, humorous and good-natured. She's always affectionate towards her baby sister, but this anger does seem to have surfaced since around the time the baby was born, suggesting a possible link. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stuff we've tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Conversations about it when she's not angry (reasons why, and tactics&#xA;for helping, namely taking herself away, breathing deeply): she&#xA;doesn't engage, or if it does register it doesn't seem to help her&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Time outs: used consistently (&quot;you need to calm down before we can&#xA;carry on&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consequences: used very rarely (denied a story, or play opportunity)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Holding her and talking calmly: tried occasionally - she &lt;em&gt;hates&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;this, and can't wait to get away (she's normally tactile)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Time spent with her alone: not often (1-2 times/week? siblings' needs&#xA;make this hard). Those times generally pass without incident and&#xA;happily.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd like to be consistent, but with greater confidence that we've chosen the best tactic. I'm certainly starting to doubt the wisdom of the time outs, but don't have any ideas about alternatives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9524" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-08-07T11:08:20.407" LastActivityDate="2018-03-14T01:46:24.767" Title="My 6-year-old has angry outbursts, possibly related to a newborn sibling. How can we help her?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|siblings|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14528" CreationDate="2014-08-06T19:02:52.490" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your pediatrician has &lt;em&gt;explicitly&lt;/em&gt; told you to wake your baby up, I think you should do that. However, the pediatrician should give you the exact amount of time your baby should have between feedings if that is the case, in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I often hear is that you can't &lt;em&gt;expect&lt;/em&gt; a baby to sleep through the night with no feedings before a certain age, and that you shouldn't try and make them give up feedings until a certain age. That is different that being asked to wake up a baby sleeping on its own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my own experience, my first was 4 weeks early, and on the small side. We were told specifically that we needed to wake him up every 3 hours to feed, and that we could not expect him to wake by himself as he may not be able to get his body to react appropriately on being hungry. I can't remember when, but I think it was the 1 month checkup, we were told we did not have to wake him anymore - at this point he also woke up by himself when hungry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our second baby, who was full term, we were not told anything like that, only to 'wait with sleep training if doing it' until 4 months of age. (Of course, he woke up by himself lots!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If would personally feed your baby when he wants to, and not wake him up. Especially since he seems to be eating lots during the day. I would then check his weight yourself (height is a very unreliable indicator of baby growth - it comes in spurts and is hard to do exact measurements). I would feed him whenever he wakes naturally, and I would guess he might still do that some nights. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your pediatrician has nurse line, you can also call them and ask if it is OK to let him sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-08-06T19:02:52.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14528" CreationDate="2014-08-06T20:09:33.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child was very premature so I spent every single day for 5 months in a NICU and never heard a single doctor say you should wake your child during the night for any reason.  They did say if your child sleeps a long time you should slip a bottle in their mouth  at around 4-5 hours and let them eat in their sleep.  The NICU doctors all said that sleep cycles are extremely important for babies and since you have no way of knowing where they are in their cycle you should avoid waking them if at all possible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would find and print a good article from a reputable hospital about infants sleep patterns, ask your pediatrician for the explicit reasons for wanting to wake your child up in the night, and if what they say contradicts the article, present them with the article and ask why they disagree with it.  I have used this technique several times and always get very good responses from the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a document from OHSU(Oregon Health and Science University), one of the leading children hospitals in the United States.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:9wtSLRiavugJ:https://www.ohsu.edu/xd/health/services/doernbecher/research-education/education/residency/upload/Infant-ToddlerSleep.doc+&amp;amp;cd=2&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;ct=clnk&amp;amp;gl=us&amp;amp;client=firefox-a&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sleep, Baby, Sleep&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastEditorUserId="7756" LastEditDate="2014-08-07T21:40:05.520" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T21:40:05.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14536" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14541" CreationDate="2014-08-06T20:22:34.517" Score="2" ViewCount="3173" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-month old baby now prefers to sleep on her tummy or her side, but she has some strange behavior prior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She buries her face on the mattress, moves her buttocks up and down (a bit like a caterpillar) with her face still on the mattress, breathing heavily. After a while, she just turns her head, lays down, sucks on her thumb and goes to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it a known behavior ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T09:01:01.190" Title="My baby buries her face on the mattress before sleep" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-08-06T23:56:21.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What your mum is experiencing is domestic violence,Often the person being abused can not see a life without there attacker and become immobilized to take any action, such as leaving the abuser but with counselling and help they can slowly gain the courage they need to leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They lack self confidence and often tell themselves the attack was there own fault or make excuses for the other persons behavior .This is very similar to Stockholm syndrome and it is now being recognised in many more different forms of abuse because of the way the victim relates to there aggressor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you can help your mum I would suggest reading up on victim mentality because she needs help in this area which may give her things to identify her situation.It takes a lot of building up her self esteem and you will need help to be able to do that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if you read the case studies or even go to a counselor yourself you might find way to get through to her but doing this without help will be extremely difficult due to the fact you are trying to break ingrained conditioning that has been formed over a lengthy time that she has been abused for, so the best advice i can give is speak to a counselor who deals with victims of domestic violence &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The things you father says to her when you stand up to him is about control.For a person that is in this situation it is not so easy to just leave because they have been mentally conditioned and feel no self worth and normally can not imagine life any other way.Of course what i am saying is just a few types of case studies this is a very complex situation and you most definitely do need help to get through to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sat many years ago learning about this same subject with women who were trying to learn so they could leave there husbands and no longer suffer at there hands.It is difficult and comes with a lot of worry so I can relate to how worried this makes you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that the advice helps even a little but it is the best advice i can give you.I also think the counseling will help you because you are also a victim in this as a child growing up and watching it happen so i do think counseling will help you as well&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9526" LastActivityDate="2014-08-06T23:56:21.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2385" CreationDate="2014-08-07T02:36:34.740" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child is on the small side, you were probably told to feed him often. Ours were both under 6 pounds, and our pediatrician wanted them fed every two hours until they hit 10 pounds. Man, that was a long 4 months or so for my wife! After that, we fed them on an their schedule, and that was still at least once a night until maybe seven or eight months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are so lucky! If he's growing and your pediatrician is happy with his progress through the growth charts, enjoy your sleep. If you're thinking of having another one, don't expect the same luck twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T02:36:34.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2385" CreationDate="2014-08-07T08:42:15.980" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Besides the other excellent answers on your question: there is a &quot;feature&quot; in our bodies that allows us to ignore hunger and thirst (to some extend) for the first few hours after waking up, presumably so we can go and hunt our breakfast without our stomach interfering. So the behavior of your child seems to be perfectly normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T08:42:15.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14536" CreationDate="2014-08-07T09:01:01.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many babies like tactile sensations on their body when going to sleep, I personally think this is why so many children like a stuffed animal in the bed with them. There's nothing wrong with your baby doing that, maybe its a sign that your baby is seeking comforting sensations. A baby-safe stuffed animal (one that has no buttons or pieces that could be pulled off and eaten) in the bed may be just the thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T09:01:01.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7618" CreationDate="2014-08-07T09:03:36.173" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you tell your parents, they will still love you afterwards. The might be upset and ask questions like &quot;What did we do wrong?!&quot; but if they do, this just means they still care for you the same way the did before, just in their world if you don't believe you'll go to hell, and they want to protect you from that misery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to spent some time actually understanding the religion you abandoned, as obviously even your parents don't fully understand it and therefore told you some &quot;stories&quot; about it. You should not judge religion from what others tell you about it, there is just too much emotion in this topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think the job is good for you, and can be done without truly believing, then do it. It will grant you experience in a world you are about to live the major time of your life without the usual sharp edges. If you don't think you can do it without truly believing, then tell your parents now. Because it won't get easier if you're neck-deep into that job already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6997" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-23T20:49:49.250" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T20:49:49.250" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14531" CreationDate="2014-08-07T15:07:11.680" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every parent tries to figure out how to keep their first child from being sad when they leave, and I don't know a single one who succeeded.  It's just something kids have to go through, and they will grow out of it when they are mature enough to realize you are coming back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until that time, any cheering up you try to do just prolongs the agony.  If she sees you having a difficult time leaving that makes it worse.  Just give a quick hug and kiss, reassure her you'll be back later, then leave.  She should be fine 5 or 10 minutes after you leave. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether she screams or just mopes, your reaction should be the same.  The person leaving does it cheerfully and quickly, and the person staying behind does the comforting and distracting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's easier said than done, I know.  I found it less hard for me to leave when I saw my first daughter calming down after a few minutes when my wife would go somewhere alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T15:07:11.680" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14544" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14546" CreationDate="2014-08-07T17:40:29.210" Score="2" ViewCount="1117" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had my 7mo old on pureed foods for about a month now (she had a week off while she was sick). Prior to this she was exclusively breastfed and continues to be breastfed for at least a year. She doesn't open her mouth for me to feed her. She will take the spoon (knocking off most of the food in the process) and bring it to her mouth, but she doesn't open her mouth to put the spoon in it. She sticks her tongue out just a little to taste it, she'll kindof lick/eat the food slowly off her hands and the spoon and then mostly smears it all over her face. (It's actually quite an adorable mess!) I can sometimes sneak the spoon in her mouth if she opens it to smile, but I don't want to startle her or cause her to choke if she's not ready for the bite. When she gets food in her mouth she sticks her tongue out a little. It looks like she's moving around in her mouth, but I can't tell. I don't think it's a taste preference because she does this for all food we feed her, not just certain ones. I can't tell if this is normal and she's just experimenting with this solid food thing... or if she's not ready for solids?? I know she doesn't NEED the food because the breastmilk is enough to satisfy her nutritional needs. Thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2014-08-08T21:41:04.267" Title="Is my 7mo ready for solids?" Tags="|feeding|solids|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13980" CreationDate="2014-08-07T17:52:25.900" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think she may be hungry when this happens, but it's not enough to fully wake her because she's swaddled. The swaddle helps babies sleep longer because it suppresses the startle reflex. Without the swaddle she probably would wake crying for food. Not to mention, a 3mo definitely should still be waking for night feedings especially if she's breastfed. Breastmilk is digested quicker than formula. Formula takes longer to digest so baby can normally go longer between feedings. My breastfed baby went 3hrs between feedings during the day when she was 3mo and every 4hrs at night. It's very normal. I don't think you're taking her out too early at all. If you are able to feed her well during the day, the frequency of night feedings will decrease slowly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T17:52:25.900" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14544" CreationDate="2014-08-07T18:01:59.587" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In general:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first baby loved food. Spoon fed from 5 months, devoured anything. &#xA;My second baby was not really interested in food until 11-12 months old. He is mostly interested when he can feed himself. &#xA;In the end, babies are different, and start eating at different times, and there is no one 'right' approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Not opening mouth:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she maybe not know there is food on the spoon? I found it helpful to put a little food on the lips to let my baby know I had food for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Taking the spoon:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider she may be like my kid, and really want to feed herself. There are different type of spoons or dippers that help with this - I have yet to find one that is super successful. &#xA;She may also want to be 'part' of it - have you tried giving her her own spoon to hold while you feed her? That really helped for both our kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sticking out tongue with food&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when sucking, babies push their tongue against the nipple to suck. She is mimicking this behavior, so she knows it is food. In this case, you need to keep trying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Experimenting/Not Ready&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she is experimenting with foods, and I would always continue to try. But do not get frustrated if she doesn't eat much - my second baby is now eating well, even if he started later really consuming food. Letting her experiment and taste stuff, even if she doesn't eat it, is good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Type of food&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had success for baby 1 to start with breastmilk mixed with rice cereal on a spoon - the breast milk taste made him realize it was food. &#xA;For baby 2, he really didn't want bland food. Pureed peas? no. Pureed peas &amp;amp; sautéed onions? yes. Some babies are the opposite, they only want bland food. &#xA;Does she want to self feed? At 7 months she may be ready for baby 'puffs' - the little rice puffs that basically melt in your mouth or cheerios. Very soft cooked carrot pieces may work well too. Some babies don't really want to be spoon fed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T18:01:59.587" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13980" CreationDate="2014-08-07T19:01:30.650" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would talk to your pediatrician about this.  At around 2 months my son would not sleep for more than an hour at a time if he was swaddled.  The pediatrician said some babies are like that and if we can maintain a good room temperature through the night then we should stop swaddling.  If the rocking is a full body rock she might not like the swaddle, if it is just her head rocking it might be that she is hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T19:01:30.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14544" CreationDate="2014-08-07T19:16:38.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she is ready for something more substantial/textural than just purees.  With my son the nutrition specialist had us switch from purees to pastes, from pastes to disolvables, and then from disolvables to soft chewables.  The specialist also said until a baby is on to chewables the progression is development based and nutrition should still come from milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2014-08-07T19:16:38.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14533" CreationDate="2014-08-07T19:57:59.997" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say you've tried time outs. I wonder if you've employed a systematic approach to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1-2-3 Magic is one of (if not the) most effective approaches to behavioral (self-) correction I've ever encountered. When applied correctly and consistently, it allows time outs to be applied without the parent losing their cool (very important, especially if younger siblings are observing) while it gives your daughter an opportunity to correct herself if she is able to before the time out, gaining some experience in self control and earning high praise for doing so. It was given to me (free back then) by our pediatrician, and I recommended it to all new parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I agree with spending more time with your daughter to some degree, I think the behavior must improve first lest she make the connection that if she throws enough tantrums, she gets rewarded with more one-on-one time. Rather, I would use a star/sticker chart and keep significant chunks of one-on-one time (a trip to the frozen yoghurt shop, a movie, etc) as rewards for self-control. You can use other rewards as well - some of the things she values highly (others should be allowed regardless). But the star/sticker chart will give her something to reflect on when she both controls herself (and gains a star) and when she questions why she has not gotten something she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she might have been acting out at school as well? You don't state this explicitly. In any case, it does sound like a reaction to a new sibling. My oldest started biting when his brother was born, never before. It's common for kids to regress to some inappropriate behavior when a sibling arrives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-09-19T17:07:12.280" LastActivityDate="2014-09-19T17:07:12.280" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2014-08-08T21:36:29.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 13 Year old girl with extreme ADHD, and OCD. About every other day I have a fit when I don't want to do something! But I am slowing learning to control it. When she is out of controll tell her to take a break go outside on a walk or scream in her room. When I get out of control (tantrum) And I notice it I turn on spa music close my eyes and meditate. (Lol I'm Christian) (has nothing to do with religion just a relaxation tequnique I use) Hope it works:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9534" LastActivityDate="2014-08-08T21:36:29.097" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14544" CreationDate="2014-08-08T21:41:04.267" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;On balance I'd say one of two things apply: either she's not really ready, or she hates purées and wants solids.  It's hard to say without trying the latter, though.  The fact that her tongue is still coming out and she's not really opening much is a developmental stage that she needs to get over, which is part of the point of solids at this age; but it's possible she just doesn't care much for the food, either.  My first son loved purées while my second son hated them, and by six months we were already doing solid chunks (of things he could gum).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-08T21:41:04.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14554" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14564" CreationDate="2014-08-09T02:51:51.363" Score="9" ViewCount="30771" Body="&lt;p&gt;For teens, in this case a rising Junior in High School, is it appropriate to set a bedtime for him of 10PM? How does this compare with the majority of teens?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9536" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:43:43.830" Title="Is a Set Bedtime Appropriate for Teens?" Tags="|bedtime|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14554" CreationDate="2014-08-09T03:17:30.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids had a 10:00 pm bedtime through middle school on school nights. It worked well. In high school, there's no way we could stick to a fixed bedtime because the workload is too great and varies night to night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-08-09T03:17:30.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14557" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14558" CreationDate="2014-08-09T17:39:05.353" Score="2" ViewCount="3546" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 month old baby only seems to quiet down when I vigorously rock her (while I carefully hold her head). Can I cause her some (brain?) damage if I rock her too hard?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9416" LastActivityDate="2014-08-09T19:49:37.837" Title="How strongly can a 1mo be rocked?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14557" CreationDate="2014-08-09T19:49:37.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This really depends on what you mean by &lt;em&gt;vigorously&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shaken baby syndrome typically occurs with an unsupported head which is whipped back and forth. The damage is done by the brain being jostled in it's cranium.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are traveling at a specific velocity and reverse directions quickly, the brain will get jostled regardless of if it's held carefully or not. With repetition, yes, you can injure your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infantile colic begins at ~2 weeks of age and lasts for about 3 months. Talk to your pediatrician (or the nurse) to see if this might be the problem, and what you can do. Colic is common and extremely hard on the parents. You need some back up and some plans, perhaps even prescription probiotics to help the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's true that &quot;babies don't break easily&quot; but there is also a reason that infants are treated gently. There are lots of gentler ways to soothe a baby without risking her health. Though my first didn't have colic, I remember sometimes the only thing that would get him to stop fussing and go to sleep was to strap him into the car seat and drive aimlessly around. Bliss!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-08-09T19:49:37.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4463" CreationDate="2014-08-10T04:00:04.960" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never wake my newborn to change a diaper. Poop or pee. If she has diaper rash that would be a different story. Sleep is so precious in the early days.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9543" LastActivityDate="2014-08-10T04:00:04.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14554" CreationDate="2014-08-10T12:27:20.093" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;High school is a much better time to learn &quot;how to go to bed on time&quot; and &quot;how much sleep you need&quot; than your first year of college, university, or work. Therefore I recommend letting the teen work out when they want to go to sleep and get up. They will get this wrong a few times, and go to school groggy and exhausted, or miss a day of school, or not finish something that they wanted to finish. You can't and shouldn't protect them from these consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do is suggest a time for them to go to bed, 10 or 11 depending on when school starts and how they get there (the high school bus arrived at our driveway shortly before 7am, meaning a 6am wakeup to have time for shower, breakfast, packing a backpack etc.) Maybe even 9 if they are not getting enough sleep otherwise. When they stay up past it you can remind them what time it is. More importantly, in the morning, when they're feeling the consequences (they're tired, or rushed, or whatever) you can connect it to their choices the night before. And next time they're doing something late into the evening you can remind them about &quot;last week when you played past midnight and felt so awful the next day.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is, some things are way more important to teens than we know. Sure, homework is important, but band practice, gaming, and socializing are important too.  Letting them set their priorities now gives them a chance for small failures with minor consequences. Making these choices for them throughout high school will mean the consequences are a lot larger once they start doing it themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, you should not be kept awake by TV, video games, or music, and you shouldn't be leaving a 15 or 16 year old to talk to strangers on the internet all night. There is nothing wrong with mandated quiet time starting at 9pm, or an internet-off time of midnight. Just don't tell the teen when they have to sleep, or they won't get a chance to work out the learning process themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-08-10T12:27:20.093" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6409" CreationDate="2014-08-10T21:50:53.107" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the younger children can tell and its been proven by my youngest 4 yr old who was shaking my belly wks before I knew anything. Children are smarter than we are.......their spirits so loving and kind and brand new They are born blessed .....God does not make mistakes n we need to hang on their every word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9547" LastActivityDate="2014-08-10T21:50:53.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14567" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14571" CreationDate="2014-08-11T07:36:35.553" Score="4" ViewCount="1524" Body="&lt;p&gt;I though it was just a phase, but it's been two or three weeks already and doesn't stop. My 9 month old has an imperative to sit. She absolutely has to sit. When put to bed, even if extremely sleepy, she will try to roll to her belly and push herself up to sit. When laid down again, she will sit again. The process will repeat until she is tired and sleepy enough to fall asleep when on her belly, still half trying to sit, but failing to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes at night she wakes. And then she sits. After a few seconds she either starts complaining or falls asleep again. If she falls asleep - she is in some really weirdly bent positions (she once fell asleep with her head between her legs - she was sitting then she just laid her torso and head). I am fairly certain I once found her sleeping while sitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also hardly lays when awake. She only does it when we give her something to eat, and we do it only to make her lay for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Advice I could use is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;did your children behave the same way?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can we somehow encourage more laying on her back or belly time?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how to effectively lay her down to bed?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is so much sitting (95% of awake time, 10-11h per day) safe for her spine?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T19:15:22.917" Title="9 month old with an imperative to sit" Tags="|infant|behavior|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14567" CreationDate="2014-08-11T11:09:55.833" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well a good tip is to almost force you child not to. I do not mean to harm your child but for example lie down with the child and put you arm lightly over her stomach so she can't sit-up. Do it very lightly. Eventually if you continue to do that she will adapt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9552" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T11:09:55.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14569" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-11T11:19:05.960" Score="1" ViewCount="604" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question is country/cultural based. When a Turkish baby starts on solids, what kind of foods do the parents introduce to the child? E.g. mashed banana, baby food, etc.. I need to know if there re different types of food the parents in Turkey give their children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9553" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-08-12T18:36:10.747" LastActivityDate="2017-01-12T09:05:58.353" Title="When do parents in Turkey typically introduce food to their babies, and what kind of foods do they typically start with?" Tags="|weaning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14567" CreationDate="2014-08-11T15:55:55.947" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, when a baby learns something new (sitting, crawling, standing, walking) they want to do it ALL the time. They can even wake themselves up to do it at night, it is that exciting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;did your children behave the same way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when sleeping, my babies would never just lay down when tired. They would cry, and when they could sit/stand do that. We had to hold them until about 18 months for our first (still holding/rocking no 2). At that time he was old enough to understand when I told him to lay down in bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As soon as my kids learned something, like sitting or pulling up and standing, that was what they wanted to do. During the day, if they could sit they would. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;can we somehow encourage more laying on her back or belly time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think I know of anything for a 9 month old. Most of engaging toys are equally or more engaging when sitting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;how to effectively lay her down to bed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't have a good answer here, as I said, we rocked our babies to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;is so much sitting (95% of awake time, 10-11h per day) safe for her spine?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have any references handy, but I do not think so. At 9 months she should be soon trying to crawl and pull up soon (Does she do that?). Most of her interaction will be looking at the world and toys. Both my kids were sitting about 5-6 month (with support in the beginning) and they absolutely preferred that. They don't have any spine issues! I don't think laying down is that 'natural' for a curious baby. I never felt it was necessary to encourage my babies to lay down - I encouraged them to sit and crawl and stand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T15:55:55.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="215" CreationDate="2014-08-11T16:00:04.740" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When their privileges dictate a need for one.  I would say when you feel your children are mature enough to be allowed to do certain events without adult supervision, or events a substantial distance from you, get them a phone to use during those events.  These events could be hanging out at the mall or participating in after school events, either way this gives the initial impression that a phone is a tool and not a toy.  Then from that point progress to full time phone possession as you see fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T16:00:04.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14554" CreationDate="2014-08-11T17:12:20.150" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 16-17 I had no bedtime so long as I was home before legal curfew(where I lived curfew was 12 AM for anyone under 18 unless work related), went to school, passed my classes, and did my chores.  This seemed to be pretty common because everyone I knew had the same rules.  I think it works pretty good and is a more of a &quot;real life&quot; approach than having bed times.  If they follow the laws and complete their obligations they get to choose their own schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastEditorUserId="7756" LastEditDate="2017-04-03T16:03:41.693" LastActivityDate="2017-04-03T16:03:41.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2667" CreationDate="2014-08-11T17:24:26.583" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say keep doing it as long as you can find stories that you both like.  Aside from just bonding time it is great for vocabulary and communication skills.  I'm 30 and my wife and I take turns reading before bed.  My dad read to me when I was little, and my brother and I took turns reading out loud up until high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T17:24:26.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14399" CreationDate="2014-08-11T19:08:45.787" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes and no.  I'm not going to link the study because I can't find it right now, but the general consensus I've found when looking into this matter is that there can be some &lt;em&gt;temporary&lt;/em&gt; strain, especially associated with computer usage (14+ hours a day) or reading in low light, but that in general it all sorts itself out after a night's sleep.  I have seen no evidence to demonstrate any long term ramifications of time spent studying on eyesight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9556" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T19:08:45.787" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14531" CreationDate="2014-08-11T20:29:45.417" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your daughter is expressing her sadness in her own way. Every child varies in how they express emotions, and not every child will cry. Maybe by turning her face away from you, she is coping with your absence by giving herself some control over your leaving. In other words, she will stop seeing you at the moment SHE chooses; she will not be at the mercy of someone else's schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should trust your daughter to know how best to deal with her own feelings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just give her an affectionate, but quick! goodbye and then leave. Not only will this be compassionate--because you won't prolong the agony--but it will be reassuring. You will communicate through your behavior that your absence is not a tragedy, and that you know she will survive unscathed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9557" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T20:29:45.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12224" CreationDate="2014-08-11T20:53:46.280" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe you could try alternatives to time-out. I'm the parent of a toddler and I'm having a hard time figuring out what I would put my child in time-out for at this age. Most things she does that are &quot;wrong&quot; (against the rules) are also developmentally appropriate, i.e. she is curious or frustrated or whatever, not disobedient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some strategies that work for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Watch her and keep interfering with the &quot;no&quot; activity. For example, if she tries to climb on something she shouldn't, I stop her, then watch. If she tries again, I say no again, and stop her. Pretty soon she gives up. Yes, this takes time, but it is also taking time to keep returning your daughter to time-out. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put the toy (or whatever it is) in time-out. My daughter was given a toy that is a bit too advanced for her; she gets very frustrated trying to play with it. So we put the toy in time-out to give her a break.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Natural consequences. If she deliberately throws her food on the floor to be &quot;funny,&quot; then she doesn't get more food, at least not right away. If she empties her laundry hamper, she has to help put the laundry back.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Corral her in a time-out area. We put up a baby gate and confine her to a place where she can be observed, even play with toys, but she can't keep doing the unwanted behavior. You'd think that she'd be perfectly happy to be stuck in a room with her toys, but she knows that she is being kept from elsewhere and she doesn't like it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When there's a waiting period, we try to connect it to something she can observe, e.g., &quot;When the clock says 'gong,' you can do X.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to reserve the biggest consequences for the most dangerous activities (chewing on electrical cord, unscrewing furniture parts and putting them in her mouth, wandering too near a hot grill or the water's edge), and I give her as few opportunities as possible to do anything dangerous. That way, when she hears a thunderous NO!!! and is yanked away from something, she knows it is exceptionally serious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are endlessly interesting. As soon as you figure out how to manage the time-out issue, something else will come up. :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9557" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T20:53:46.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14567" CreationDate="2014-08-11T21:24:13.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think sitting up at this age is good for her - even if she's going to some extremes.  One of the things that babies work on with sitting is their balance, and that's a precursor to walking (and crawling to some extent).  It both helps them have a sense of balance, and helps strengthen their abdominal muscles, not dissimilar from an adult doing sit-ups.  Those abdominal muscles are what will enable walking and many of the other physical activities babies do around a year or so old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's likely to be dangerous for the spine at that age; remember that kids have very malleable bones for the first several years of their lives, and so a lot of the bone-related problems we have later in life just aren't problems for them.  I'm in my mid-30s and I'm learning now that a lot of habits I had as a kid aren't a good idea now (like sitting for long periods of time!), but as a kid that's not a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as my kids go, they didn't go to this extreme, but my older one really liked pulling himself up on tables, and did that probably 80% of the day for a month or two (around the same age, right before crawling/walking).  Some of this is probably related to the other babies/adults around her; my older started crawling when a new baby came into the daycare that was a crawler, almost right away, because he was physically developed for it but prior to that had only older (walking) toddlers to play out with - hence the preference for pulling himself up.  If the other adults around her are sitting on the floor to play with her, for example, she may just be copying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-11T21:24:13.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12851" CreationDate="2014-08-12T03:24:30.950" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like he's trying to self soothe and needs help finding a healthy way to calm himself down. The hair pulling is likely a form of comfort and sensory stimulation. If you can't replace the habit with something safe, it's worth talking with your pediatrician about, since bezoars are dangerous. Maybe give him something else to chew on that is safer than hair, help him find his hand, or help him soothe himself some other way (music, going outside, interacting with him). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2014-08-12T03:24:30.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14497" CreationDate="2014-08-12T03:34:05.643" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as she gets a health variety, the flavors don't matter. It's better to feed her with a spoon or cup than with a bottle so that she can get used to using the front part of her mouth to handle pureed food and liquids. If she always gets a bottle, she'll miss out on the experience of eating. The food goes right past her tongue into the back of her mouth. You shouldn't have to add any salt or sugar to her food if you're feeding her vegetables, beans, peas, legumes, fruit, grains, and other &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_food&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby food&lt;/a&gt;. You can even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-make-your-own-baby-food_1401482.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;make your own&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course avoid choking &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_foods-that-can-be-unsafe-for-your-child_1491465.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hazards&lt;/a&gt; like peanuts and grapes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2014-08-12T03:34:05.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14224" CreationDate="2014-08-12T03:45:15.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as reacting to little mistakes: It may be important for you to show him by example how to respond when someone makes a small mistake. Next time you observe someone making a small mistake respond with an acceptable reaction, such as ignoring it, acknowledging it an moving on, directing your reaction to action of the mistake rather than the person who made it. Also, when you see someone else showing the kind of response to little mistakes that you would like your son to make, praise that person and point out how great the reaction was, in a way that your son can hear and see your approval.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as losing control. That's a separate issue, and a very important one. It is important for both you and your son to learn to recognize the thoughts and feelings that lead up to and precede the loss of control. It is very important to distinguish the thoughts from the feelings-- because he can learn to control his thoughts, but controlling feelings is too difficult for children (and adults). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try reading about &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CBT-- cognitive behavioral therapy&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last point is probably the most important.&#xA;Confidence. Your son will gain confidence by you praising him for things that matter to you and to him. Think about what matters, and when he does something worthy (eg creates something, helps someone, controls his actions, makes you smile, tries hard at something)-- praise him and tell him how proud you are of him! Find a ways to reward him and show and tell him you love him every day, and his confidence will grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2014-08-12T03:45:15.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14224" CreationDate="2014-08-12T05:21:30.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some lack of social skills is to be expected at your son's age. But this is concerning to parent and child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say that your son&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;becomes angry with small mistake of his friends and part from them during play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he's got an &quot;entitlement&quot; thing going: he expects things to go his way, and if they don't, he's upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't often point to parents for children's behaviors, but in this case, I think you need to look at what goes on in the home. This behavior doesn't usually exist in isolation, i.e. if this is the case, I would expect he does this at home to some degree as well. Is he an only child? Does he have a low tolerance for other causes of frustration? How is it handled at home? Do you anticipate his needs before expresses them, or fulfill them quickly to avoid any unpleasantness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also say &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;when he sees his friends and deep into play, he loosed his control and does things which are annoying to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is attention-seeking behavior. The thought behind this is that negative attention is better than none. Unfortunately it will reinforce bad behavior (he learns that he gets attention by behaving badly) and poor self-esteem (because it will make him an even less desirable playmate.) The answer is not to shower him with attention at home. It is to build up his ability to tolerate frustration of his wishes. It is important for the child to learn how to deal with failure or frustration without losing self-esteem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the above sounds right to you, it might be time for some help. All the potential causes for his behavior can't really be discussed here, nor can all the behavioral issues be addressed simply. I would suggest you make an appointment with his doctor and discuss the issues; if your doctor feels it is appropriate, he can refer you to a pediatric counselor. While you wait, keep a little diary of behaviors that are problematic so you can discuss specific behaviors as well as general ones with your doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an issue which is appropriate to take to his doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-08-12T05:21:30.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14583" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14587" CreationDate="2014-08-12T16:12:12.003" Score="4" ViewCount="25852" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 9 months old and just won't be still while feeding. It's to the point where I can barely get him to stay latched, he keeps turning his head to look at other things, and I can't tell if he's had enough milk or not. I wanted to wait until one year to stop breastfeeding but I don't know how much longer I can continue like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7804" LastActivityDate="2017-11-26T21:07:53.210" Title="Baby doing flips and flopping around constantly while breastfeeding, is he ready to be weaned?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|weaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14584" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14588" CreationDate="2014-08-12T19:28:41.860" Score="6" ViewCount="1004" Body="&lt;p&gt;When outside, our 2-year-old son always runs away from us and, when called back, thinks this is a catch game. No amount of explaining, in any tone of voice, helps him understand this is not a game and can be dangerous. This ranges from nice explanations and asking him not to do that very nicely and calmly to stern talking and raised voice. No physical violence, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way to make him stop running far away when outside?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9560" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-12T13:15:04.153" LastActivityDate="2018-11-12T13:15:04.153" Title="What to do about our 2-year-old always running off?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|safety|outdoor|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14583" CreationDate="2014-08-13T06:55:11.170" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Weaning is a personal choice for you and him. There is no magical date, but if you feel like he's ready and you're ready, then congratulations: you've done a great job. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned about how much he's getting, you could give him known quantities of expressed milk in a cup or bottle-- but since you've been feeding him for so long, you can probably feel how much he's gotten. He may be looking around because he needs more interaction and sensory stimulation as he's growing up. You may find that talking to him or singing to him makes it more fun for him. Sounds like it may be time for a slow wean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3495" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T06:55:11.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14583" CreationDate="2014-08-13T13:02:35.267" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's going to eat enough, barring substantial physiological problems that it doesn't sound like apply here.  This was true at one month old, is true now, and will be true at 3 or 4.  Kids don't starve themselves, whatever their difficulties with appearing to eat a normal meal are.  As long as you're not replacing those calories with candy or potato chips, so all of his food options are nutritive ones, don't worry about the nutrition side of things.  Kids (like adults) have physical cues that tell them when they should be eating more or less, that make sure they get a sufficient minimum quantity of food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, if you want to wean him, go ahead; if you don't want to, don't.  A lot of it depends on your preference, and whether you can handle him being so squirmy.  Health-wise, it is probably better for him to continue nursing for a portion of his calories until at least one (and even 1.5-2), due to the other benefits of breastfeeding, but it's not a dramatic difference; so if the squirming is getting to the point that it's stressing you out quite a lot, let it go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a pretty normal stage right around 9 months give or take a few months, because babies start being able to move more (crawl, walk, etc.) around then, and their mental development also hits a higher gear around 9-12 months - so they're more interested in what is around them.  As was alluded to in comments, a less stimulating environment may be necessary to help keep this under control; but to some extent you may just have a happy, active baby who likes to move and see what's going on around him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things you can do include talking to him to keep his attention - singing, telling him stories, etc.; stopping nursing when he reaches a certain point of squirminess, hoping to make it clear to him that squirming leads to stopping nursing; putting a blanket on him to keep him warm; and adjusting your nursing times.  By 9-10 months, my wife was primarily nursing in the early morning (upon waking up) and right before bed, both times when our babies were sleepy and less likely to squirm about, for example.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T13:02:35.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14584" CreationDate="2014-08-13T13:19:32.567" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This isn't a terribly surprising thing for a two year old to do.  After all, catch games are fun, aren't they?  And in the appropriate environment at the appropriate time, there's nothing better to do than simply play along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, obviously many times this isn't acceptable.  The best way I've found to deal with this was to clearly explain to my son what the appropriate times/places were, and what they weren't; then when he (of course) forgot, to be consistent with appropriate discipline: tell him that he needs to come, now, or we're [going home from the play area|putting him in a shopping cart with a seatbelt|having a time out in the car].  Maybe count 1-2-3 at a reasonable pace.  This will be necessary a few times, including leaving places you might prefer not to leave, but by 2 they are capable of understanding reason to some extent. Making sure the punishment is relevant (taking them out of the dangerous situation) and timely (happens right now, not &quot;we will never come here again&quot; which is pointless) is crucial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't under-state the value of explaining the reasoning to them, in addition to the relevant, timely punishment.  If you are planning to raise a reasonably independent child, making sure they understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; it is important to not run off is key, because just punishing them without telling them why won't work for many children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son just turned three, is one of the wilder children you've ever seen in many situations, yet I feel entirely comfortable going to the museum with him, or walking down a sidewalk on a fairly busy street, without holding his hand except to cross streets, because he learned not only that there were consequences to running off, but &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; it is dangerous to run off.  He knows that staying in sight and within the same area is important, because he could get lost or hurt.  We talk about it with him periodically, and have had pretty intelligent and complex conversations with him since he was two or thereabouts - including reinforcing the lessons by asking him why he thinks it's dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do still end up sometimes having to play chase, especially in more dangerous situations where it's not okay to give them a bit of time to comply, and having to use those consequences, even after they've learned better, mostly; that's fine.  Kids are kids, and sometimes lose control.  It should be rare, though, and rare enough that when it does happen it's a noticeable thing for them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I do not recommend is raising your voice for the purpose of showing anger.  Beyond the fact that it's generally not effective, in this particular situation you want to use raising your voice to indicate alarm (ie, concern for immediate safety).  If you don't usually yell, but loudly yell their names in situations where they are, for example, about to run into a busy street, it's more effective than if they're used to you raising your voice to call them back, and they've established a pattern of sometimes complying, sometimes not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T13:19:32.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14589" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-13T13:51:38.127" Score="4" ViewCount="374" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5 year old that is very very very sociable.  I am being a generous here.  I have tried to explain to him in simple terms that not everyone is good and that he can't go up to everyone he sees and start a conversation like he is a little adult, but it confuses him.  He think that everyone is good and no one is bad or can do bad things.  So when I explain to him about strangers, he usually doesn't listen to me, but if he does, he does a complete 360 and now everyone is a stranger and I don't want him to feel that he either has to say talk to trust/talk to everyone or trust in no one.  How can I better explain to him about strangers and how to be more careful.  As a parent, I have my eagle eyes on him all the time because I know how he is, but I also want him to be aware of these things even if it is start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9563" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2014-08-13T14:24:02.907" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T14:37:37.910" Title="How do you explain to a very sociable 5 year old about strangers?" Tags="|primary-schooler|socialization|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2014-08-13T15:16:19.003" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14589" CreationDate="2014-08-13T14:25:16.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is a tricky balance at 5, or 30 for that matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is about that age I would start by saying that he should not approach people that he has not been introduced to by you and should immediately come get you if someone he has never seen before starts talking to him. You don't have to get too detailed, just explain that you want to make sure you know people he talks to first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets older it will get easier for him to understand and navigate, teach him to use his common sense (which shows that you trust him) and that most people are good but never to put himself in a situation where he is no longer in control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is scary, but it is the best that you can do. You do not want to give him either a false sense of security or a false sense that people are out to get him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is any help, problems stemming from malicious adults are very rare, that does not mean that it does not happen or that it is not terrible when it does, but the likelihood of running into trouble, especially while using common sense is very low. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7903" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T14:25:16.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14589" CreationDate="2014-08-13T14:37:37.910" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The thing to do is not teach him to be wary of people, but of &lt;em&gt;behaviors&lt;/em&gt;.  Most of the bad things that happen to children are perpetrated by people they know.  Children and adults both benefit from interactions with each other.  It's a shame that this rich source of learning is so often stifled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we teach our children to watch out for is adults who:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Want to touch your private parts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell you to keep a secret from your parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell you to do things your parents said not to do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask you to go somewhere without telling your parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This includes adults you know.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With those rules in mind, we actually encourage our children to interact with strangers, and they are more adept at it than most children.  I think that will help them more easily recognize the bad types of encounters compared to children who have no experience interacting with strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T14:37:37.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14592" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-13T14:52:10.157" Score="5" ViewCount="50817" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was learning to write, the teacher insisted all the strokes begin at the top-left.  My son did a little over a year at public school and came home starting his strokes from the bottom.  I don't know if he just wasn't paying attention to that part, if teachers don't care anymore, if teachers just let them learn any way at first and correct it later, or if they expect kids to just naturally adopt a more efficient writing style as they get better at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do know that starting strokes at the top makes it easier to write with a fountain pen, but are there other benefits?  We are homeschooling now, so I'm wondering if I should bother correcting it, or just let it develop naturally, focusing more on form when we get to cursive.  I know for myself that my print writing changed after I learned cursive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2019-01-29T06:24:16.560" Title="Writing from the bottom up" Tags="|education|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14592" CreationDate="2014-08-13T15:47:18.563" Score="-3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was learning to write, the teacher insisted all the strokes begin at the top-left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I was in school, the decision was made to stop teaching handwriting, starting with cursive, and then moving on to any instruction at all as I went through grades.  It's fairly likely I'm between you and your child in age, so I'm guessing I experienced the paradigm shift you are concerned with directly.  If the writing isn't causing performance problems in class, hand-writing methodology is and should be irrelevant, as it will certainly not be utilized anywhere outside of class in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;focusing more on form when we get to cursive.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've compiled a brief list of reasons to learn to write cursive:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually let's do the converse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a brief list of reasons not to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's a colossal waste of time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's 2014.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fewer people can read it every year.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It is a very normative view that there is a correct way to form letters, and enforcing normative views in education is incredibly dangerous.  Cursive is an extension of this.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, for a direct answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;...are there other benefits?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, absolutely not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extension question:  &amp;quot;...are there costs?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, absolutely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9556" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T17:36:42.497" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14497" CreationDate="2014-08-13T16:37:54.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, you should be bothered by enforced blandness as well as the fact that your child treats bland food as a preference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From personal experience - our older kid was raised as a baby/toddler on VERY bland food (both due to our inexperience, family influence and allergy issues) while our younger one was not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result, the older one (now in early school years) refuses to eat or even try ANY food that's even remotely spicy-ish at all - and in general is extremely conservative about food and hates trying new ones; while the younger one is a lot more adventurous when it comes to trying new foods and is measurably more spice-friendly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notice that being used to non-bland foods is a lot better for a person than vice-versa: you can always spice up bland food if you're forced to eat one; but being faced with spicy food when you're unable to eat anything but bland will severely hamper you both nutritionally and socially (having witnessed coworkers who couldn't eat any even remotely non-standard non-bland food).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T16:37:54.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7085" CreationDate="2014-08-13T18:20:30.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The information I've seen all shows that intellectual curiosity isn't something you develop.  It's something all children are born with.  The problem is more accurately phrased as how can you keep from unintentionally &lt;em&gt;squelching&lt;/em&gt; that innate curiosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly that involves not making learning a &quot;chore,&quot; giving a child intellectual freedom to explore the things he finds interesting, and exposing him to lots of new things to learn about.  Do a search for &quot;unschooling&quot; and you will find a ton of examples of people who are really good at doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing to realize is playing is serious business.  Don't stifle a child's interests even if he's interested in stuff that isn't &quot;academic,&quot; because he will learn much more effectively if it stems from his own interests.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, in less than a year my son went from hating reading to reading above grade level, mostly because his school teacher made him read boring stuff and we let him read about Star Wars and ninjas.  If we had continued to force him to read only serious academic writing, he probably still wouldn't like reading at all.  Instead, because we nurtured the subjects that interest him, he incidentally developed the skills that enable him to do more serious work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll also add that it's important for a child to know how to fail gracefully.  Intellectual curiosity requires taking risks in areas you are not already familiar with.  If you are afraid to fail, you won't take those risks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-08-13T19:48:02.503" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T19:48:02.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14498" CreationDate="2014-08-13T18:21:09.203" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The ways we handled this issue: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;gradually let the get used to the dark by employing low-power nightlights&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;when the child is a little older (3-4) explain about night vision in low light and demonstrate how it works. SOMETIMES the fear of the dark is simply about fear of not seeing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T18:21:09.203" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14597" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14600" CreationDate="2014-08-13T18:31:46.113" Score="3" ViewCount="4052" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have seen varying opinions from 12 weeks to 20 weeks.  At what point in the gestation will the Doctor be able to ascertain the sex of the child, assuming there are no developmental complications.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Question was previously related to Gender, I modified the question to reflect my intent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9517" LastEditorUserId="9517" LastEditDate="2014-08-14T20:52:43.687" LastActivityDate="2015-01-28T04:19:11.180" Title="At what week will the doctor be able to determine my Baby's Sex" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14567" CreationDate="2014-08-13T19:15:22.917" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;did your children behave the same way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of ours did. Heck, her preferred sleeping position ranged from sleeping on her KNEES - with legs folded, head down, and butt up - to completely unnatural and painful looking something which resembled letter Z for lack of a better description, since well before 1YO&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;can we somehow encourage more laying on her back or belly time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as sleep - the only thing that I'm aware of that works is heavy blankets (or better yet sleeping bag). Not quite reliable (and not safe for under 2 YO for sleeping bag due to suffocation concerns), but nothing else works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as belly time - first I would investigate scientific research on whether belly time is even necessary vs sitting (my understanting was that it was only necessary for neck/torso muscle development for kids who spend too much time laying on their &lt;strong&gt;back&lt;/strong&gt; specifically).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;how to effectively lay her down to bed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Show by example&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gently push her towards lying position. But frankly I would suggest not fighting that battle - you are unlikely to win unless you monitor her every night all night.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;is so much sitting (95% of awake time, 10-11h per day) safe for her spine?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not aware of any studies, but intuitively, if she isn't getting tired from it, she's ready for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T19:15:22.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14597" CreationDate="2014-08-13T19:58:24.910" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;EDIT:  The original question has been edited from being about gender to being about sex (as many comments and this answer reference).  While my answer is no longer relevant, I believe it is fair to preserve it here for purposes of incidental education&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;==========================================================================&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, in general, gender identity tends to coalesce toward the end of puberty.  While many individuals have an idea what gender they will identify with before then, many, especially those raised in conservative households, will have to pass through puberty and sometimes even live away from home for a while before coming to terms with their own gender identity.  This isn't really something a doctor can tell with any reasonable degree of granularity, as neuroscience has not yet developed any accurate methods of determining gender, but this should be an ongoing dialogue with your child through upbringing.  In some ways, there will never really be any absolute certainty in gender identity, but I would expect within the first few years away from home it will be unlikely to be further refined, especially as our society becomes more accepting of non-cis-identifying individuals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9556" LastEditorUserId="9556" LastEditDate="2014-08-14T16:49:07.413" LastActivityDate="2014-08-14T16:49:07.413" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14597" CreationDate="2014-08-13T20:28:14.740" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;While Calvin's answer is awesome, you may be able to identify the baby's genitalia at an ultra sound. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, OB/GYNs don't usually do ultra sounds between 12 and 20 weeks, and in most cases the genitalia will not be seen at 12 weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 20 weeks you will be able to see it in most babies, however, some babies are in a position where you cannot see it. Depending on doctor they may not want to spend too long time finding out about it - I believe at 20 weeks you also look for 4 chambers of the heart, kidneys and 2 brain halves, things like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cases, the doctor (or, in fact, ultra sound technician) think they saw the genitalia, but it was interpreted wrong. You don't know for sure until the baby is born. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-08-13T20:28:14.740" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14601" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-14T01:45:20.547" Score="3" ViewCount="122" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 4 months pregnant and wondering in which week of the pregnancy does my baby start to listen ? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9564" LastActivityDate="2014-08-14T05:37:25.190" Title="What week does baby start listening?" Tags="|hearing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14601" CreationDate="2014-08-14T05:37:25.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Supposedly a fetus is capable of hearing, depending on the source, as early as at around 16th week of pregnancy &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/your-baby/week-16/ear.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;[1]&lt;/a&gt; or 20th week&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_developmental-milestones-hearing_6509.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;[2]&lt;/a&gt;, or 24th week &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/articles/945349/fetal-development-what-does-baby-really-hear-in-utero&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;[3]&lt;/a&gt;. Apparently, people are not sure:) But what is important is that the baby really does listen quite a long time before it is born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-08-14T05:37:25.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14364" CreationDate="2014-08-14T09:39:33.337" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a general rule it is probably best to avoid cannabis smoking in pregnancy, but the primary evidence for this is based on the smoking aspect - many of the same compounds that make smoking tobacco in pregnancy potentially unhealthy are also present in weed. We have very little evidence either way as to whether THC itself has any effect on pregnancy - it's a drug that can remain in the body for some weeks post ingestion, but none of the documented biological effects are such as would be likely to have an adverse impact on pregnancy. The raw birth defects data doesn't show any correlation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regard to your situation specifically, one-time use in very early pregnancy is extremely unlikely to have any adverse effects whatsoever. It happened and you can't change it, so if you intend to continue the pregnancy then rather than dwell on it I would advise you to concentrate on positive healthy behaviours going forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Source for drug and birth defects info: my job as a data analyst for exactly that.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9568" LastActivityDate="2014-08-14T09:39:33.337" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14597" CreationDate="2014-08-14T14:40:36.333" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can do a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.prenatalgeneticscenter.com/services/prenatal-dna-gender-test/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;prenatal DNA&lt;/a&gt; test at 10 weeks that will determine the sex of the baby. My wife and I did this and it costs us $150 in the U.S., although our OB-GYN said that this test will soon become part of the standard of care since it also identifies genetic defects. So I would assume most insurances would cover it when that happens and the price would come down even further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They just draw some of the mother's blood, and then sequence the baby's DNA out of it. Fascinating :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2715" LastActivityDate="2014-08-14T14:40:36.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14517" CreationDate="2014-08-17T02:05:45.203" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guideline in raising kids is that consequences must feel a &quot;natural&quot; consequence. That is, the kid must not feel punished, but feel like that whatever hits it after it had done something &quot;wrong&quot; is a natural, physically deterministic consequence of what it did. Retribution has no place in this. If you cannot undelete what you have deleted by having something else precious be destroyed, then why destroy something precious at all? (Of course, that's the ideal, and I openly admit that sometimes I do fall short of this. But still, it is how I try to do things.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case you mentioned, where the destruction was done accidentally, the first consequence I can think of is a very &quot;naturally&quot; feeling consequence: &quot;If you are not yet experienced enough to avoid such fatal mistakes, you cannot use the machine on your own. Someone has to be there and supervise your interaction, and that someone has to find the time to do so.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That will seriously limit the amount of time the kid can use the machine, and thus be a punishing which teaches a lesson. Yet it will feel &quot;natural&quot;, if explained as such. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-09-14T01:09:44.763" LastActivityDate="2014-09-14T01:09:44.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14499" CreationDate="2014-08-17T02:39:20.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost: When a child of that age cries, then that means the child is distressed. The reason we usually cannot let a baby cry is that, over millions of years, crying has become a statement of &quot;something isn't right!&quot; and hearing a baby cry has become a reminder that &quot;something needs to be made right!&quot; It's &lt;em&gt;built-in&lt;/em&gt; – both into the baby and the parents. So do not let others talk you into &quot;some crying isn't bad, wait it out.&quot; A baby cries when something is wrong, and our natural reaction is to try to remove whatever makes the baby feel bad. What worked fine millions of years shouldn't be easily dismissed for some cultural habits gained a few dozen years ago. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working from that, the question becomes &lt;em&gt;&quot;What is wrong and what can we do about it?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is wrong I could only speculate. One thing immediately coming to my mind is that, for millions of years, a child that didn't feel contact with a familiar adult had been lost in the forest and needed to draw attention so the parents can pick it up. This, too, is built-in. IME, some babies need more physical contact and others do less. But physical contact usually helps make the baby feel safe and peaceful again. That is, why we feel the urge to pick up a crying baby, after all – this was the right thing to do for millions of years, and it still works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my suggestion is to make it easier for you and the baby's mother to make the child feel good, so that the two of you will also get enough sleep to get through that period. (Always remember the parent's mantra: &quot;It's just a phase. It will pass.&quot;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing we have done was to build a small extension to our bed where a child can easily be put to sleep alone, but just as easy be picked up from when it cries. It was about an inch lower than our mattress, so that the children would not roll into our bed by themselves. (Some children &quot;travel&quot; a lot during sleep.) Putting it on my side of the bed somewhat lowered the lure of wanting to be fed in the middle of the night. I would lie on my back, the baby on my belly until the baby was quiet and comfortable. Then I'd slowly roll to the side and let the baby slip to its &quot;balcony&quot;. If the baby starts to cry, I'd pick it up again. After a few nights this could become routine for the two of you and the child might be more relaxed about lying alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you also might want to try is &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14418/7982&quot;&gt;tight-wrapping&lt;/a&gt; the child, which helped with one of my kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T06:18:25.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14531" CreationDate="2014-08-17T02:52:43.960" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It takes a while for a child to become confident that a parent leaving will come back. Give her time to learn this. Younger children only have a vague understanding of time and have great difficulties looking ahead for longer than a few minutes, but eventually they will learn that absence is only temporarily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to ease the path to this perception, give her opportunity to learn it by employing shorter absences. Tell the child that you leave for a moment and will be back when you need to walk outside to the car to pick up something you forgot, or when you leave for an hour to buy something. Shorter absences, combined with the prediction that you will be back will make the child more confident that you will return at some point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do this, always honestly tell the time you expect to be away: &quot;for a few minutes&quot;, &quot;for an hour or two&quot;. This is not because a child of that age understands the times you indicate, but because you will employ different subconscious signals (voice accentuation, mimic, gestures etc) from which a child might get clues as to what to expect. (That sometimes such predictions are way off is just another lesson a child will have to learn: &quot;Honey, I had to make a detour and it took way longer than I expected.&quot;)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2014-08-17T02:52:43.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14611" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14615" CreationDate="2014-08-17T15:33:17.447" Score="5" ViewCount="2016" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5yo daughter is getting so jealous of her 2yo sister that she grabs everything that the other picks up (it can be anything from worthless plastic bag to newspaper) and throws a fit. Now her sister is getting very scared and throws a thing that she picks up to her sister and runs away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always been showing them the same respect and providing same care, same ownership and same love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm extremely worried that they will eventually become enemies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9575" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-08-18T04:29:04.700" LastActivityDate="2014-08-20T07:31:21.150" Title="Older sister grabs whatever her younger sister holds" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|siblings|jealousy|fighting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14592" CreationDate="2014-08-18T02:31:27.667" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you that I have experienced the same thing with my 6 1/2 year old son.  I assumed a lot of it was because he's a lefty, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe not so much?  I, too, recall having a much more stringent handwriting regimen when I was in elementary school--at least up until about second grade.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked several of my friends (of varying ages) who had taught elementary education whether or not I should be concerned about this, and the response was somewhat mixed.  Older teachers (aged 50+ I would say) overwhelmingly said it was problematic and I should correct it in my son as soon as possible.  This was especially true of teachers who were over 50 and retired.  Younger teachers and those who were still teaching in the elementary grades, generally told me it wasn't such a problem.  The bigger question was:  Is his handwriting legible?  Once my son started kindergarten, I found that the focus wasn't on letter formation at all because they're too busy teaching other stuff.  He just started 1st grade and some of that is fading away.  He still makes his lowercase e's starting from the bottom and a few other letters, but I can tell that his overall handwriting is improving and fewer and fewer letters are being written from the bottom up.  A friend of mine whose son is also 6 1/2 had a different kindergarten teacher and she was absolutely crazy about proper letter formation.  She would mark off points if a letter was formed incorrectly.  She seems to be one of a few holdouts of the &quot;old ways&quot; in modern education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know that inefficiencies in handwriting ever really get corrected now, but I don't think that's any different than teachers not correcting the way some lefties curled their arms around their papers to write when I was a kid, or the fact that no teacher ever tried to correct the way I held my pencil even though it was wrong.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you concerned about it from an efficiency standpoint?  I think if efficiency is your primary concern, you can't get more efficient than typing.  In terms of handwriting, as long as he is writing legibly for his age, and his handwriting is progressing it's probably not something to worry too much about.  If you're 100% certain you're going to teach your son cursive, I would focus on teaching form when you teach cursive because, in cursive, it sort of matters.  I say sort of because my cursive handwriting in no way resembles the cursive that I was taught in elementary school, and that will probably eventually be true for your son as it is for most of us.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-08-18T02:31:27.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14611" CreationDate="2014-08-18T04:28:43.387" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds pretty normal to me, at least up to a point.  3 and 17 months here, and not that different; except the 17 month old stands up to himself a bit better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We handle it in a very straightforward manner.  Any toy grabbing means immediate removal of that toy from play for the day, unless that would excessively harm the wronged party if there is a clear wronged party.  In that case, an equivalent toy is gone for the day that belongs to the party in the wrong.  However, we tend towards removing the toy that is the proximate cause of conflict, because it often defuses the conflict more effectively (they will just go back to fighting over the same toy otherwise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not always perfectly effective, but it does tend to work fairly well on balance.  We also try to work with the older child on empathy: explaining to him how his younger brother feels, and reminding him how he feels when his brother takes things from him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also help by training your older daughter to have positive interactions with her younger sibling.  Train her to give her younger sister toys, rather than take them away.  When our older boy wants a toy the younger one has, we reinforce that he should offer a trade.  We point out when his younger brother is sad and what he can do to help - offer a toy, pick up a fallen item, etc.  This all reinforces, positively, things he can do that make his brother happy, without too much negative reinforcement.  Negative reinforcement is the biggest problem here, I would suggest: if all the older one knows is negative things related to the younger one, well, that has an obvious outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-18T04:28:43.387" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14592" CreationDate="2014-08-18T04:50:43.343" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest benefit I see is in causing him to think about his letter formation.  Good handwriting tends to arise from people who think about the writing of the letters; bad handwriting arises from people just scrawling without making much effort to think about the letters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, my parents tried teaching me calligraphy with the intent of curing my poor penmanship as a child, and that failed miserably, because my mind just moved too quickly for my hand to keep up if I thought about what I was writing.  Thus, I would suggest that you consider the child's tendencies and whether it's likely to pay off or not to teach him in a way that slows him down some rather than writing however comes naturally.  I know from your past questions that you have specific challenges with teaching your son that you have to keep in mind; it's possible this is one worth focusing on, but it's equally possible it's not (and particularly given the increase in computer/etc. use in learning, which is not irrelevant to this, though perhaps not quite relevant to the extent of the other answer on that subject).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-18T04:50:43.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14618" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14620" CreationDate="2014-08-18T19:55:08.703" Score="5" ViewCount="5768" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5 month old currently sleeps in her cot in our bedroom. We've taken one of the sides off, and the cot is right next to the the bed to make it easier for nighttime feeds, which my wife does lying on her side so the baby isn't picked up and doesn't even open her eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always struggled to get her to sleep - only managing it by nursing her to sleep. We're going to begin sleep training in the next month or so. The end objective for us is to help her learn to get to sleep without her needing to be fed to sleep, and to transfer her into her own room. Should we:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep her in our room for the training so that she is in the environment she is used to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OR:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Move her into her own room at the same time as sleep training her, rather than prolonging the process. We currently start her bedtime routine in her room before moving into ours, so she wouldn't be completely discombobulated.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2014-09-03T18:00:09.490" Title="Move into own room at the same time as sleep training?" Tags="|infant|sleep|bedtime|sleep-training|bedroom|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14619" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-18T20:06:22.030" Score="3" ViewCount="19955" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has a cold, and is struggling to clear her nose. We have tried (deep breath) Olbas Oil, a Nasal Aspirator, Sea water Nasal Spray, and Vapour rub, but nothing is as effective as when she sneezes. Other than tickling her under her nose are there any other tricks for getting her to sneeze on demand?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastEditorUserId="7304" LastEditDate="2014-08-19T13:45:37.847" LastActivityDate="2014-08-19T13:45:37.847" Title="What safe ways are there to get a baby to sneeze?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14618" CreationDate="2014-08-18T21:06:21.083" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our experience, it's very hard to get an infant to sleep without nursing if he/she is in the same room as Mommy, as the infant knows where the milk comes from.  We didn't sleep train, but certainly when we needed to share a room (such as during hotel stays) it was much harder to get our sons to sleep as babies than when they were in a separate room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will certainly be difficult, and I would suggest that every single baby is different here - so you should try different things to see what works (but try each thing for a while, of course).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-18T21:06:21.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14619" CreationDate="2014-08-19T10:03:44.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Expose your child to bright light (like a clouded sky). Not too long, of course. A large percentage of people will sneeze when exposed to bright light. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photic_sneeze_reflex#Photic_sneezing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;photic sneezing&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9582" LastActivityDate="2014-08-19T10:03:44.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14623" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-19T10:12:22.917" Score="5" ViewCount="326" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to install life hammers on the rear doors of my car. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lifehammerproducts.com/en/product/safety-hammer-evolution.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;These life hammers&lt;/a&gt; are supposedly easy to use by children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked the manufacturer for a minimum age for using this life hammer. They told me that while using it in an emergency wouldn't be the problem, using it when there is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; an emergency would be! Therefore they recommend I install the life hammer only when the child can tell when it should be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I know whether my child can do so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9582" LastEditorUserId="9582" LastEditDate="2014-08-19T19:19:15.530" LastActivityDate="2014-08-23T22:59:42.830" Title="From what age is it safe to install a life hammer in my car?" Tags="|pre-schooler|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14623" CreationDate="2014-08-19T10:53:35.263" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does your kid listen to your commands? If you say &quot;don't touch it&quot; does he touch the thing? What does he do when he gets bored - does he look around for anything to do? Does he then respect your firm &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breaking a window while driving at high speed would be extremely dangerous. Glass fragments could cause serious wounds, possibly to eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why not keep the hammer only on your side, unreachable to the kid? It's better than having none at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-08-19T10:53:35.263" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14611" CreationDate="2014-08-20T07:31:21.150" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Joe's approach is exactly what I'd do, too. I'd like to contribute an answer but essentially I'd be repeating what Joe said. Instead I can elaborate a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Negative behavior has negative consequences. Always. That will probably mean that when you first start to use Joe's tactic, pretty soon &lt;strong&gt;there will be no toys left in the room&lt;/strong&gt; and the kids will be unhappy. Well, it's not your fault, you're just enforcing the rules. Know that it will take some time for the kids to understand and accept that they themselves are responsible for the punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they have separate rooms, offer to &lt;strong&gt;put one toy in their own room&lt;/strong&gt; which they can play with, but only as long as they stay out of the sister's room and don't grab the sister's toy.&#xA;This might train them (especially the older girl) to respect both personal property and personal space. They are going to have to learn that someday, might as well be now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be fair, you should also try to be consistent about age-specific toys:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The older girl should not play with &quot;baby toys&quot; (she only does that to annoy her sister),&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and the younger should not play with &quot;older toys&quot; (you probably have some &quot;common toys&quot; that are just as suitable for the younger).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-08-20T07:31:21.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2014-08-20T12:26:22.613" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do not know how old your kid is, but I had to travel 12 hours with my 2 year old and his mother, and this worked well:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Travel during the night, so the baby is tired and willing to sleep&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Make enough activities before the flight to ensure that the baby get tired enough to sleep well&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Sometimes you can have sits where there is an extra place to attach a baby sleeping chest, so you might ask your airline if they have this as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastActivityDate="2014-08-20T12:26:22.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12254" CreationDate="2014-08-20T13:05:09.113" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a father and also a co-parent and my boy is two years 3 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I take him from the kindergarten Wednesdays and Thursdays, and on those days the caregiver of the kindergarten is putting my son into the mood that &quot;Papa will take you today&quot;. On the days that she forgot it, my kid was crying when he saw I was there to take him. Otherwise it was all good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that &lt;strong&gt;using the end of the school day as a switch point&lt;/strong&gt; is good, because it saves the kid the distress from from separating from the mother to go to father and vice-versa. They are just coming from a neutral environment (the school), and you dont break them in the middle of an attachment (to the other parent).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About changing weekly or daily, I dont have experience on that, just theory. In both cases, I believe it will take the kid some time to get along well with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastActivityDate="2014-08-20T13:05:09.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14631" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-20T13:27:43.253" Score="3" ViewCount="412" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 month old has been waking 3 times per night for several weeks now. I do not want to reestablish the habit of night feedings but that seems to be the only way to soothe him back to sleep. I have tried letting him soothe himself but that isn't working. Why could he be waking and what can I do to make it stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7804" LastActivityDate="2014-09-09T21:08:23.713" Title="9 month old waking several times a night." Tags="|infant|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14632" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-20T18:51:40.287" Score="5" ViewCount="2697" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been having trouble with my seven year-old son when he is unattended at naptime and bedtime.  When he can't sleep, he gets bored, and when he gets bored, he gets destructive.  The latest was crayon drawing on the wall.  He didn't have any paper to draw on, because he ripped that up previously.  He has done things like rip books, tear the stuffing out of pillows and mattresses, eat a month's worth of candy, wake up his sister, cause a flood in the bathroom, peel paint off the walls, etc.  I even caught him playing with matches once, which he got from our bedroom that is always locked (now with a better lock).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't need as much sleep as the rest of the family, which gives him one or two hours every day where this problem might happen.  We don't really care if he doesn't sleep while we are.  We have only two requirements:  be quiet enough not to wake others, and don't be destructive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, what we've found ourselves doing is placing more and more restrictions in support of the primary ones.  No crayons, paper, getting out of your room, etc.  As his options get more limited, it exacerbates his boredom, and he finds more creative ways to be destructive.  We would really like to expand his options, but every time we do, he finds a way to make it destructive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, aside from locking him in a padded cell (before we need one ourselves), what can we do to break this cycle?  We know that &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; needs to change about quiet time, we just can't figure out what.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-08-22T21:37:15.670" Title="Destructive when unattended" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14633" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14638" CreationDate="2014-08-21T09:36:03.150" Score="3" ViewCount="233" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have twin boys who are 6 weeks old. They breastfeed each 3 hours as an average. However this is making me tired especially during the night. Till what age will they keep waking each 3 hours?&#xA;Is there anything I could do to make them sleep longer durations during nights?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastActivityDate="2014-08-21T18:00:47.147" Title="Till what age will an infant keep waking to nurse each 3 hours?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14634" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-21T11:12:59.630" Score="1" ViewCount="261" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I handle my 6 weeks old baby who is always crying and needs to be held and walk while holding him. knowing that they are twins and I can't keep holding him since I have his brother to take care of him too. &#xA;N.B.: This baby was born underweight (1380 g) and was kept in the NICU for about 18 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T18:42:36.400" Title="How to handle a fussy baby?" Tags="|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14634" CreationDate="2014-08-21T11:57:41.890" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can you wear him?  My preemie LOVED being worn, and it freed up my hands to do the other things that needed doing.  Try a Moby wrap or something similar; there are oodles of how-to videos online that show you how to properly tie is so he's safe and secure and able to breathe freely, and you get your hands back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-08-21T11:57:41.890" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14631" CreationDate="2014-08-21T12:21:11.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have twins that are still waking several times per night and they are 18 months now. We've spoke with different pediatricians and there are several causes (besides being hungry) like growing teeth, bad dreams, feeling the need to be close to the parents, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't do too much besides waiting for this period to finish. It's pretty hard to predict when this will be as babies are very different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9595" LastActivityDate="2014-08-21T12:21:11.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14632" CreationDate="2014-08-21T15:07:44.383" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the reasons for needed reduced sleep and excessive boredom could be failure to find proper challenges during the day.  Valkyrie mentioned wearing him out before bedtime (I'm not really a fan of sports for a number of reasons, but this is exactly what they are for), but both physical and mental exhausting can be effective.  Some things I would try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bed time stories.  But pick books (or improvise) with serious content, complexities, compelling character and depth.  I've seen fantastic results from doing Tolkien before bed - it's a lot to think about, a fun read for parents to, and provides a great opportunity for moral instruction or discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Minecraft.  I'm not really an advocate of this particular game, but I know a number of other parents that have had fantastic results entertaining their children with this great opportunity for creative development.  Minecraft with access to Legos has also been highly praised (I'm an enormous Lego advocate myself) but I have some reservations about leaving a tablet or Legos with a potentially destructive child (not that either are particularly easy to break, but nevertheless).  Possibly the introduction of either in a controlled setting and then access at nighttime may provide the distraction needed, while potentially having some very positive effects as well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teaching calculus before bed.  Calculus is great in that, though it doesn't seem to actually be used very much in very many fields, is not exactly how people think but makes a lot of sense.  Wrestling with the complexity of abstract mathematics can paralyze minds and, if broken up well, is approachable from a fairly young age (I've heard of beginning calculus at I believe 4 years old and set theory a little bit before that).  The research on this method is somewhat lacking at present and I haven't had any experience with it but it may serve as an inspiration for other solutions if nothing else.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Staggered sleep schedules.  Obviously this would be a non-trivial commitment, but may be reasonable for short-term training periods (such as introduction of Minecraft or alternative) or as a measure of last resort.  Hopefully this is clear:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Assumptions:  Parents need 10 hours of sleep.  Child needs 8 hours of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/dmHAa.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I would target either complete mental or physical exhaustion at least a half hour or so before bed.  A glut of energy should, if possible, be channeled into development of some sort (for which I primarily advocate STEM, though sports is another great example) and barring that, well, good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9556" LastActivityDate="2014-08-21T15:07:44.383" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14633" CreationDate="2014-08-21T18:00:47.147" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's not just one answer to that question, because it varies by the child and the situation.  Could be 2-3 months, could be much longer (easily could be 6mo+).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also a second issue with your question: 'waking up to nurse' versus 'waking up hungry'.   If they're waking up actually hungry, then you need to feed them (or find a solution to feeding them in some other fashion).  If they're not actually hungry, they may just want to nurse because they like the feeling and the attention.  Kids will very often do that for quite a long time, and you need to learn to differentiate waking from real hunger and waking just because they want mommy - and deal with them differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most general answer to your question is that for kids that are 'bad' at waking up, often when they start consuming a significant quantity of solid foods (usually around 5-6 months), they begin to sleep better at night.  That's not a suggestion to start solids early, as that's not necessarily good for their development, but more of a 'this is when it may happen'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to consider pumping if you're not already doing so, and having your husband or another caretaker responsible for some middle of the night feedings, perhaps every few days so you're able to get more regular sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-21T18:00:47.147" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14639" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14642" CreationDate="2014-08-21T18:10:16.500" Score="3" ViewCount="1897" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three year old is 100% pee trained, even at night, but as with many little guys is not poop trained.  We started him in underwear, partly because preschool encouraged it and partly because he pee trained better - and we hoped poop would come faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nope.  He's now in full resistance mode, ie, mommy sees him squatting, takes him into potty, he screams and stops pooping and then goes right afterwards in his underwear.  (Yes, we know this wasn't the right thing to do.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're considering, as part of the process, asking him to clean up his own underwear when he has an accident.  What are the benefits and/or downsides of such a process?  How much should we expect him to clean up? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I saw in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8301/what-to-do-when-my-3-year-old-holds-poop-in-and-wont-go-in-diaper-or-on-potty&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; that 'first rinse' was recommended by some, but didn't see any explanation in the linked article what that entailed or why that was a good idea. Would that include him pulling down his pants/underwear, or is this more something we'd do for him and then say 'okay, rinse it in the sink now'?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2018-10-02T05:36:38.597" Title="Poop-training and cleaning up" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14632" CreationDate="2014-08-21T20:31:48.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll do a quick read across from my examples and see what helps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has always needed 4-6 hours sleep a day. My middle daughter won't fall asleep until late (and gets up late) and my youngest can fall asleep at any time, but is an early riser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for my middle daughter, she was already into 1.5 to 2 hours training every evening after school, whether it was swimming, taekwon do or more general exercise with the Brownies. She'd usually have dinner after this, and then read a chapter of a book before bed. That's her out cold until morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my eldest, he would also do about the same amount of physical training, but as he would get up really early we got him into reading in a big way, so he would quietly read to himself until he heard me get up. The reading was his distraction - and he has kept that going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My youngest is actually easy. She does the same sort of exercise, will sleep 8 hours and bounce out of bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest using reading as a pre-bed calming process, rather than TV. TV led to some unsettled sleeps for us, and reading gets positive support from scientific research that it helps the brain relax more effectively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-08-21T20:31:48.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14639" CreationDate="2014-08-22T14:04:02.850" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally think that having a three year-old clean up his own feces would not be a good idea; too much opportunity to make a mess or create an association that the potty is negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a great deal of luck following the &lt;a href=&quot;http://incredibleyears.com/about/incredible-years-series/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Incredible Years&lt;/a&gt; theories when potty training my two boys. I participated in several parent groups through Head Start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I found to be helpful with my kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;I see you pooped in your unders, poop goes in the potty. Let's clean up now.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;I see you pooping, let's get it in the potty!&amp;quot; said excitedly like a game&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did naked time, so I had less mess to clean up (easier to wipe down a floor than clean underwear); scheduled potty breaks; and a simple, achievable reward chart (stickers each time with a hot wheel for three).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9603" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:44:06.370" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14643" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14644" CreationDate="2014-08-22T17:55:09.157" Score="10" ViewCount="1740" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents are moving to Florida soon and have asked for my help moving their car.  I thought it would be nice to take my pre-teen daughter (almost 12 yo) with me on the ride down for a short visit.  However, we would need to fly home, and she appears to have developed a fear of flying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not know the source or nature of the fear.  She has never flown.  Three years ago when I flew to Mexico she was jealous that I got to fly and loved the pictures from the plane.  Over the past few years she seemed to develop a minor concern that has now turned into a sizable fear, though I wouldn't call it a phobia at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's got decent math skills so we sat down and looked at the accident statistics together to address any ration fears.  Over the past year I've always tried to speak positively of flying, and about how cool it is to be up there and see the world from above the clouds, to create a positive association with it.  I've asked her directly what she's afraid of but she's unable to articulate it, which isn't unusual at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a feeling she's going to agree to go either way.  However, I would like to make the process as easy as possible on her, avoid her worrying about the flight home all trip, and most of all get to experience the positives of flying.  Leading to the title question: How can I assuage her fears about flying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7735" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-08-24T07:22:14.017" LastActivityDate="2014-08-24T07:22:14.017" Title="How can I assuage my pre-teen's fear of flying" Tags="|pre-teen|travel|fears|flying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14643" CreationDate="2014-08-22T18:21:14.783" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Has she ever flown before (post-toddler years)?  If not, then that's the first step: fly.  I probably fell into the category she falls into for years; I flew only twice as a child that I can remember, at 6 and 10, and so when I went off to college (far enough to have to fly each semester back and forth), I had a mild fear of flying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It only went away when I'd flown several times, and just got used to it.  It never was enough to make me not fly, but I still choose driving over flying when it's remotely logical to do so, undoubtedly illogically at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me at least, the problem is that I tend to not be able to accept things I don't completely comprehend.  Add to that the fact that I don't have the ability to visualize systems very well, and despite my strong math/science background and good understanding of the various concepts that underly manned flight, for years I didn't completely, at the lowest level, believe flying really would work.  That meant that little turbulences and such would make me think the whole sham was breaking up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I dealt with that by remembering statistics, by remembering that it really does work despite my lack of core belief in the mechanics, but most of all by seeing all of the people around me not worried.  That wasn't perfect, sometimes bad turbulence would occur and worry some of the other passengers or there would be a more-phobic person on the plane, but in general I was able to convince myself that the other 200 people on the plane were rational people also, and their lack of fear meant I didn't need to worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-22T18:21:14.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14643" CreationDate="2014-08-22T18:24:31.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Typically, the more you know about something, the less you are afraid by it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter how much math, theory and statistics you throw at it, nothing beats actually living the experience of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EAA Young Eagle Program allows youngster to actually fly in an aircraft with a qualified pilot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.eaa.org/en/eaa/aviation-education-and-resources/eaa-youth-education/eaa-young-eagles-program&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.eaa.org/en/eaa/aviation-education-and-resources/eaa-youth-education/eaa-young-eagles-program&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This program is free of charge, althrough if she loves it, you might be in to pay for some flying lessons by the time she is 16th.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9600" LastActivityDate="2014-08-22T18:24:31.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14632" CreationDate="2014-08-22T21:37:15.670" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son and your son are about the same age (mine is 6 1/2--he'll be 7 in February), and with school, Choi Kwong Do, and Cub Scouts, he goes to bed pretty exhausted every night.  There is no time for naptime during the school year and he doesn't seem to want a nap.  But every so often if he's been up extremely late the night before (like, at a sleepover) or he's obviously exhausted, I'll send him to his room and tell him he has to lay down for half an hour and then I'll come check on him.  If he's awake after 30 minutes, he can get up, but I can tell you that it never happens that way.  Generally after 10 minutes he's asleep.  However that doesn't even happen often--maybe once every few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were me, I'd drop the nap altogether.  If he's in a room destroying stuff, he's obviously &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; sleeping or even on the path to sleeping.  I can understand a necessary &quot;quiet&quot; time during the day, but since you all ready know that leaving him in a room unattended is only going to result in destruction, I would move him out of his room, into a public place, and encourage activities that work the brain.  He could quietly play with Legos (which are pretty tough to destroy), Lincoln logs (my son LOVES his!), work puzzles, read, a destructo-bin (my son loves to take stuff apart just to see how it works.  So make a bin that has stuff in it that is ok for him to take apart.  Old electronics, for example.  Trust me, a 7-year-old can handle a screwdriver).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, and this might not be a popular sentiment, but if he's not involved in some kind of physical activity every day, he needs to be.  I'm not saying you need to sign him up for soccer or football or anything at all like that, but it really sounds like he could use the opportunity to really work off some energy.  All kids are big balls of energy that needs to be expended in some physical way.  I was reading an article a few weeks ago (which, God help me, I can't find now) that suggests that children's body and spatial awareness have declined significantly over the past 30 years or so because children simply aren't spending time outdoors.  I want to say that the study recommended that children have something like 5 hours of unrestrained outdoor play a day--a difficult task for my family to fulfill, but 30 or 40 years ago would have been entirely do-able.  Anyway, so children are less coordinated and less aware of their bodies in space.  My point to this is that,  besides wearing him out, getting him physically active has other benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found, recently, that &lt;em&gt;punishing&lt;/em&gt; my son for stuff is counterproductive and winds up with both of us being miserable, and I've just accepted that, for me, I'd rather encourage positive behavior when I can.  Your son is 7.  He knows that tearing up mattresses and pillows or books is unacceptable, but he does it anyway.  I would sit down and talk to him about it.  The conversation might go something like this:&#xA;Dad:  So, we need to talk about your destroying things when mommy and I aren't around.  You know that's naughty--right?&#xA;Son:  Yeah (or maybe he'll say no.  But let's pretend that he says yes.)&#xA;Dad:  And you know it makes mom and I really sad when we see that you've torn up a book that we know you really like or drawn on the walls of your room (or insert whatever most egregious thing he's done most recently might be).&#xA;Son:  Yeah...&#xA;Dad:  And you understand that it's important that you have some kind of quiet time during the day.  So sister can nap and mommy can empty the dishwasher and refill it again--right?&#xA;Son:  Yeah...&#xA;Dad:  You're a big boy and mommy and I need to trust that we can leave you alone in a room for a little while and you won't destroy it while we're away.  That's a big responsibility, but we know that you can do it.  So instead of taking things away when you destroy them, we're going to make a chart and every time you are left alone for a little while without destroying stuff you get a sticker.  And when you get 10 stickers, we'll do something special (insert whatever special thing you think he would like or have him help you decide what it is). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And let the conversation go from there.  He might say No, he doesn't understand that it's naughty and that's the window to have a more in-depth discussion with him about it.  If he does understand that it's naughty, then you can move forward from there to correct the issue.  You could ask him why he does it, but I'm going to ask that his answer will be &quot;I don't know&quot; which I've decided is kid lingo for &quot;I was bored and just wanted something to do&quot;.  Although, he could say &quot;The zombies in my closet told me to do it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, you do have to provide him with something to do during that quiet time that he's unsupervised until he can be trusted to be left alone with nothing to do and make a good decision about what to do with his time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2014-08-22T21:37:15.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14643" CreationDate="2014-08-23T14:29:38.757" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an airline captain and licensed therapist I have specialized in treating flight phobia for 30 years. The average age of onset is 27 when, as an adult, one faces the fact of being vulnerable and - on ones own - cannot control every threat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child develops this problem precousiously it is a clear indication that what Winnicut called &quot;the holding environment&quot; provided is nor secure enough. This points to the need to work with a therapist to find and remedy the relationship problems that are not providing emotional security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9606" LastActivityDate="2014-08-23T14:29:38.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14623" CreationDate="2014-08-23T22:59:42.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking at the design of the product it looks remarkably like an automatic punch with a blade recessed into the handle.  The kinds of situation it's meant for seem to be serious car accidents where the seatbelt has become jammed or the occupant is trapped, so we're not addressing minor shunts and the forces involved before the hammer is required will be significant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd ask a few questions to determine risks and benefits...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can they be trusted not to touch it?&lt;/strong&gt;  If you press it to your head or other body parts (as kids often do) the autopunch part of this device will definitely hurt them.  So if they're young enough for you to ask the question at all then they are too young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can they actually use it in an emergency?&lt;/strong&gt;  As much as it is purported to be easy to use by the manufacturers, in the confusion following an accident will they actually be able to use it to escape the vehicle?  Do you have some spare seats around that you can use to train them?  Even if you try will they even be strong enough to use it or have the dexterity to use it in that situation?  If there is a question mark there again then the answer would be that they are still too young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are they going to do when they get out?&lt;/strong&gt;  As distressing as it may be to think a child might be stuck; what is even a young teenager going to do while dazed or shocked following an accident?  In that state even adults have problems acting rationally and are going to be better off &lt;em&gt;in&lt;/em&gt; the car where emergency services can find them and give help.  So unless they're very mature and can cope under extreme pressure again it's probably not a good idea to install one for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the risks, by the time a child gets to the level of capability and maturity needed for this kind of product to protect them they will be almost adult.  So maybe if you really are sold on having one of these then the better thing to do is install one in the front of the car by the centre console where adults can get to it (or an older child can direct another adult to it) and in all other circumstances the risks will outweigh any benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2014-08-23T22:59:42.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14650" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-24T11:55:58.033" Score="2" ViewCount="3095" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four years old daughter asked for a pillow - something we didn't really think about until she asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can't see any reason to deny her request of course but question is, what is the best type of pillow for children this age? Should we avoid certain types or look for specific type? (e.g. soft, synthetic , etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2014-08-25T15:32:52.160" Title="What type of pillow is best for a pre schooler?" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14650" CreationDate="2014-08-24T15:51:45.670" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I often used to accompany my Mom when she used to go shopping to buy things for me. This is something I learnt from my Mom when she used to select my pillows when I was a little girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should press the pillow before you buy. It shouldn't be too hard or too soft. Children's posture and spine gets damaged if the pillow is too hard or too soft. An ideal pillow should regain shape as soon as you lift your hand after pressing it. Hypoallergenic foam pillows are very good for toddlers for their posture and prevents their skin from allergic reactions as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Posture is very important for your daughter, especially if she decides to opt for sports or dance in future, a good strong spine will help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9614" LastEditorDisplayName="user9614" LastEditDate="2014-08-24T16:05:08.863" LastActivityDate="2014-08-24T16:05:08.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14655" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-24T22:10:33.380" Score="2" ViewCount="147" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was wondering if hospitals let you take pictures of any ultrasound home? Also if so how large or small are they-what are the sizes of the prints? ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9619" LastActivityDate="2014-08-26T11:57:09.450" Title="How are pregnancy ultrasounds administered?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14655" CreationDate="2014-08-24T23:57:06.380" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For both of ours, we took home a DVD recording and some hard copy prints, roughly 10cm x 10cm. This was a while ago, so there might be new stuff now. I know you can get 3D ultrasounds, I not think it serves any diagnostic purpose - they just look pretty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-08-24T23:57:06.380" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14655" CreationDate="2014-08-25T00:43:59.913" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every hospital has different equipment, so call ahead and ask them.  I had to bring a VCR tape (that was 15 years ago, so I'm sure it's something else now).  The last thing you want is to &lt;em&gt;guess&lt;/em&gt;, get there, and find you were wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-08-25T00:43:59.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="879" CreationDate="2014-08-25T03:35:19.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stickers. A giant sticker book. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone gave me this tip for our first flight when my son was 21 months after they had flown international with their son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9620" LastActivityDate="2014-08-25T03:35:19.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14655" CreationDate="2014-08-25T15:16:11.130" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It definitely varies by hospital.  We went to a ultra-modern Chicago downtown hospital, and didn't receive any sort of video recording (nor did we have the option of such).  What we received was printouts on tape (very high resolution version of cash register tape, the kind that is printed on with heat imagery).  Black and white pictures (which is consistent with a regular ultrasound), nice looking, but not video.  10cm square sounds about right.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did two ultrasounds (as do most people nowadays), one at 12 weeks to confirm it wasn't ectopic, and one at 20 weeks for various diagnostic purposes.  We got some pictures during both appointments.  During the second one they take quite a few pictures, and if you have a friendly tech you should get several good looking pictures there (including the 'boy or girl' picture at that appointment).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend asking your OB/GYN during your 8 week appointment about what you should bring, if anything; if you don't have another appointment prior to your ultrasound, call your OB/GYN's receptionist, she/he can likely tell you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-08-25T15:26:06.467" LastActivityDate="2014-08-25T15:26:06.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14650" CreationDate="2014-08-25T15:32:52.160" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest at least initially offering a variety of pillows.  Different people have different pillow preferences based on how they sleep; a back sleeper wants a firmer, thinner pillow, a side sleeper wants a firmer, thicker pillow, and a front sleeper wants a softer, middle-thickness pillow, most commonly, but even there you see a huge range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a toddler probably doesn't yet have a good idea of what sort of pillow she/he will prefer over the long term (and I'm sure it will change several times over the years), the best thing to do is to let her/him figure it out by trial and error.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my three year old, he has two or three pillows to choose from; a smallish Thomas shaped pillow that's pretty thick, a homemade pillow from sewing class that's thinner but wider, and sometimes a third very large thick pillow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as materials go, I imagine it depends on allergies (ie, if you need a 'hypoallergenic' pillow; my feeling is those don't do much, but your mileage may vary), but otherwise you should just go with whatever feels best to her.  I wouldn't buy anything terribly expensive at first, at least until she figures out what she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-25T15:32:52.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14655" CreationDate="2014-08-26T01:56:03.427" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have said, the printouts are small black and white squares. Most places will let you take a few home. Once, I only got three, another time, I got close to a dozen. 5&quot; square (if you aren't into cm's) approximately. Here's a warning (which is is probably common sense but I'll make no assumptions): these need to be protected from heat and light. I had a few that got ruined within an hour in the car on a &lt;em&gt;warm&lt;/em&gt; spring day (heat) And another has not stood the test of time -a decade- on my mom's fridge under normal conditions (light being the culprit here. Or, the noxious fumes from her cooking... ;-P )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hey, if the tech turns out to be ultra stingy, you might try snapping some photos with your mobile phone's camera (paparazzi style). The quality will be about the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-08-26T01:56:03.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14618" CreationDate="2014-08-26T02:39:34.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience 5 months is a little early to even start trying to get a breastfed baby to sleep without the boob. That works better around 9 or ten months, if at all. (The nighttime feeding being the last my kids gave up, at age 13 months for my middle child and at 15 months for my youngest.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I do sympathize with your desire to help establish a healthy  bedtime routine.  even if your baby continues to breastfeed herself to sleep, getting her to do it in her own room, and then settle herself post-tuck in (and more importantly when she wakes up periodically at night like all babies do) is a great idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you start her routine in her room. That's great. All you have to do is work on staying there. I found it worked best for me to sit and feed the baby right next to the crib, then I'd hand the baby over to daddy, he'd burp and then tuck in. If I did the tuck in, the boys would wake and want to nurse again. Daddy sometimes had to deal with a little fussiness. Daddy's do well to flex the patience and persistence muscles at times like these. It's easy to give a fussy baby back to mommy, but it'll set you back. Resist on all but the toughest nights, when she's overtired or not feeling well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not going to get into elaborate sleep training detail-there are plenty of other good answers on parenting se to questions about that specifically, but, to get you headed down the right path and answer your question, option 2 is my recommendation, based on your stated goal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And, BTW, if the baby is used to sleeping with you guys, you can make her feel more &quot;at home&quot; in her crib if you toss her clean crib sheet in between your sheet and blanket for a few days before making her bed with it. That way, it smells like your bed. She'll appreciate that more than the smell of whatever detergent you use.  Scent has a powerful effect on babies, and grown ups too. Use it to your advantage!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-08-26T02:39:34.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14664" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-26T06:34:09.370" Score="2" ViewCount="275" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are going on a vacation with our 9 month old. As we love hiking, we have decided to try to hike with our little one. We chose mountains with rather easy paths and at most 1000 meters above sea level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would like to be as prepared as possible. We have decent experience hiking on our own, but it's the first time we're going with our child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What things should we take, consider, prepare before the vacation and before each trip?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;some useful hints can be found in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2105/what-should-we-pack-when-going-camping-with-an-infant&quot;&gt;What should we pack when going camping with an infant?&lt;/a&gt; but that question is about entirely different destination&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-09-02T18:28:20.570" Title="Going hiking with an infant - how to prepare?" Tags="|infant|health|safety|travel|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14655" CreationDate="2014-08-26T09:36:15.507" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our gyn gave us printouts. Our hospital gave us printouts as well as a CD with JPG images. At no cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The printouts were roughly postcard-sized, and I scanned them into the computer when we got home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-08-26T09:36:15.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14655" CreationDate="2014-08-26T11:57:09.450" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our gave us printouts in an A4 page, with all the evaluation for each exam (done almost monthly). And we could have the whole exam recorded in a DVD for $10. The 3d one was a must have!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2014-08-26T11:57:09.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14667" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-26T13:24:26.083" Score="2" ViewCount="1479" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1-year-old eats solid food and has been since about 9 months. However he just makes a chewing motion mainly chewing his tongue and then swallows the food whole. &#xA;I am not eating at the same time as him. I do make the motions and show him with his food though. I do make most food softer than I'd like to. Any suggestions on how to help me would be greatly appreciated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9623" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-15T12:43:03.163" LastActivityDate="2019-04-15T12:43:03.163" Title="How to make my 1-year-old really chew food and not just for a second and then swallowing it whole?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14667" CreationDate="2014-08-26T14:54:08.010" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Eating is a skill like anything else.  It takes practice.  The vast majority of kids figure it out all on their own, and your son is still too young to be worried about it.  Just give him softer food in small portions until he gets the hang of it.  When you feed him, try to place the food on his teeth instead of on his tongue.  If he's still having trouble in six months or so, consult your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-08-26T14:54:08.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8518" CreationDate="2014-08-27T04:27:10.863" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I heard recently about one strategy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the child want to talk to a parent who is talking, the child places his/her hand on the parent's arm. The parent then places his/her hand on the child's to let the child know that he/she has been heard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This avoids the interruption, and validates the child's right to speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-08-27T04:27:10.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14671" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-08-27T20:23:05.097" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Weaning is the process of withdrawing mother's milk and introducing an adult diet&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9634" LastEditorUserId="9634" LastEditDate="2014-08-28T13:14:31.683" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T13:14:31.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14672" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-08-27T20:23:05.097" Score="0" Body="Process of withdrawing mother's milk and introducing an adult diet" OwnerUserId="9634" LastEditorUserId="9634" LastEditDate="2014-08-28T13:14:00.510" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T13:14:00.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14664" CreationDate="2014-08-27T21:10:21.963" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took my 12 month old on a short (but uneven / rocky) hike near Tahoe last year. If I were to do any sort of hiking again, I would definitely recommend the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wearable Baby Carrier with some sort of waist harness - I used the Baby Bjorn Mesh Baby Carrier Active for the hike. With the baby carrier properly adjusted I felt like my little one's weight was close to my core and off my shoulders. This made it easier for me to hike for a longer period of time and equipped to deal with uneven terrain. He was in front of me so I could avoid brush and branches from hitting him in the face which was a plus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Walking stick - I didn't have one at the beginning of the hike, but found a solid stick along the way and I felt like it was very helpful. Even though the carrier kept my little one's weight in the right place, every now and then when I was extending for a foothold or navigating through rocks, that walking stick kept me balanced, confident, and safe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps and that you enjoy your trip!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9627" LastActivityDate="2014-08-27T21:10:21.963" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14674" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14689" CreationDate="2014-08-27T22:42:41.610" Score="7" ViewCount="789" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 12-month old girl.  She &lt;em&gt;understands&lt;/em&gt; a few words (like mommy, daddy) and maybe a few words (claps when we say &quot;clap&quot;, waves when people say &quot;hi&quot; or &quot;bye&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell if she's talking or not.  When family members are around or babysitting they will say &quot;she said hi, and ball, and daddy&quot;.  But I have never heard her say any of those things.  She says &quot;da&quot; a lot, but rarely exactly twice (sometimes &quot;Da&quot; other times &quot;dadadadada&quot;).  Sometimes she says it when she sees her daddy, and sometimes when she sees her mommy, and plenty of times for no particular reason.   A few weeks ago she said something like &quot;book&quot; while we were reading, but she hasn't said it since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is.... how do I know when she is actually talking?  Since &quot;da&quot; has been her favorite syllable for months, how will I know when she says &quot;dada&quot;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4901" LastEditorUserId="4901" LastEditDate="2014-08-27T22:48:09.823" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T19:53:45.383" Title="How to know if 12 month old is talking" Tags="|toddler|language-development|speech|first-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14674" CreationDate="2014-08-27T23:57:32.793" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you say &lt;em&gt;dadadadada&lt;/em&gt; and she repeats it, she is parroting. If she sees her &lt;em&gt;dada&lt;/em&gt; and says &lt;em&gt;&quot;dada&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, then she is talking. Basically, talking is saying something that reflects a shared reality. Children parrot before they talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her first word will be when she says something  appropriate (usually a noun) &lt;em&gt;spontaneously&lt;/em&gt;. Bye (if she's leaving someone), dada when she reaches for her daddy, baba for her bottle, etc. Because it's spontaneous and not parroting, you will notice it. You won't miss her first word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much to my surprise, my son's first word was &quot;moo&quot;, on seeing a cow in a book. I was surprised because usually I said it first while reading to him. Just to make sure, I read a few more pages and turned back to the cow, and he said it again, before me: &quot;moo&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may not be the one to hear her first true word, but she will repeat it, likely a few times before she says her second word. If you are her primary caretaker, it's likely that you'll hear it first, because you are the one who most consistently speaks these words to her (teaching her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about it, and enjoy her cooing and babbling. Her first word will come soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-08-27T23:57:32.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2047" CreationDate="2014-08-28T00:55:33.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Immediate consequences are important. I stop right where we are. Sit on the floor and tell them my lap is your time out chair. You may have to move to the side of the aisle in the store. so people don't trip over you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9636" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T00:55:33.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14678" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14679" CreationDate="2014-08-28T09:39:16.720" Score="9" ViewCount="7233" Body="&lt;p&gt;My godson is soon having his first birthday. I think that's too young to start putting him in front of the TV to watch films (although he does appear to enjoy toddler TV like Bumba with healthy amounts of laughter), but I'm interested to know what would be an appropriate age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a related topic: I've discussed this abit on the SciFi SE chat, and some people said that there are certain Disney films that were made during a time of different morals that would give a wrong impression to a developing child. An example is the racism displayed against the Native American tribe in Peter Pan. How should you handle the films with that kind of content?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7257" LastActivityDate="2021-03-16T15:22:13.907" Title="Disney, Dreamworks and Pixar: What is the appropriate age to start showing their films to a child?" Tags="|age-appropriate|entertainment|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14678" CreationDate="2014-08-28T12:06:50.473" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: whenever they're ready, and when you do let them view it, watch it with them and help them find different ways to think about and address the more qustionable/uncomfortable themes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Longer, more nuanced answer: Honestly, the age when they're ready for it depends on the child.  My daughter wasn't able to grok anything other than 10-15 minutes of a movie at a time until 4, and my son (who is in the middle of the Terrorist Three's) isn't there yet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We (my husband and I) view any media consumption as an opportunity to communicate our thoughts and values with our kids, and hear what they think about what they see. So, we watch these things together with them, so we can explore the themes that are displayed and how we feel and think about it, and why they think the writer/author/director/company/whatever thought it was important to say or show or do.  This is one of the things we feel as parents that is vital to their maturation: the ability to think critically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the questionable themes, I look at them as an opportunity to discuss what we're seeing, why I disagree with what we're seeing and hearing, and ask them what THEY think and then how they'd handle the situation differently/how they'd treat that person/etc.  For example, my son right now is all about the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (for which I hold a debt of gratitude, since MM got him over the potty-training hump).  My daughter and I often discuss the roles the different characters play in the show.  We talk about the active vs. passive roles the characters take on (why is Daisy waiting with the sheep while Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Pluto do the searching and rescuing?), why she thinks things are like that, why I think things are like that, and what she'd do differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, I do skip some of the more loaded Disney movies (not sure I'm ready to discuss Stockholm syndrome with a first grader), but as they age we will explore them both for cultural reference (when every other kid is talking about this princess or that, I'd at least like her to know what they're talking about, even if ours are NOT princess-loving children) and to talk about the more questionable themes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T12:06:50.473" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14678" CreationDate="2014-08-28T15:22:58.883" Score="3" Body="&lt;h3&gt;A couple quick things to get out of the way&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just like every &amp;quot;what is the appropriate age&amp;quot; question, there isn't one. Age is a pretty decent approximation of the physical and emotional maturity of people, but its margin of error is very high. While some things have laws that put lower bounds on them (drinking, violent movies, staying home alone) the truth is that many people below that threshold are ready, and many people above the threshold are not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the notion of what &lt;em&gt;age&lt;/em&gt; do you need to be to watch Disney films is a very misguided premise. Instead, we should be focusing on the physical and emotional attributes of the child to make the determination of if they're ready. Age is just one of these attributes, and isn't nearly as important as it might seem. I would also like to say that as the child's godparent, it's possible you don't have enough exposure to the child to really make the determination, and regardless of what criteria we come up with here, it remains the parent's decision. That's not to say you shouldn't care, because you totally should and clearly do - just remember to &lt;em&gt;be patient and kind if the parents disagree and/or you're overruled&lt;/em&gt;. After all, being a good role model for disagreeing respectfully (a form of conflict resolution) is one of the best things you can teach a child!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Attention span&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, with those more abstract topics out of the way, let's talk about movies. The first criteria I would mention is attention span - is the child able to watch it for an entire hour and a half? My first child couldn't. Not with the distraction of toys, the outdoors, her sister, etc. It took her until she was about 3 before she could actually watch an entire movie. Once she was able to watch a movie in a room with distractions, we took her to see a movie in the theaters. She had been watching movies before, but only if she were being cuddled the whole time. But, that doesn't mean we didn't have movies - it just means she wandered around not always paying attention to the movies we had on. My second, however, was able to sit through a movie much earlier, probably around 18 months. I don't think it's so much that she has a higher emotional maturity than my eldest, just that she seems to enjoy them more and is less distracted by things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Comprehension&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next criteria is comprehension - is the child able to actually know what's going on? If the child can't at least parrot/mimic some of the things they see in the show, it's probably not sinking in. At 1, I would not expect them to be able to do this, but that doesn't mean it can't happen. However, my children have been watching TV since long, long before they hit their first birthday. We've gone through enough Baby Einstein DVDs that we should have invested in their company! We also had a few DVDs of nursery rhymes which have a number of useful benefits (and just maybe we're prepping our children to play music with us some day and exposure to basic chord patterns at an early age is part of a grand master plan. Maybe.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, so far we have.. are they able to physically watch it for that long? And if they are, are they reasonably expected to gain anything from it? And I would say this applies to any film, not just Disney films. A big hit in my family is nature shows, and I would say the same criteria applies there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Disney specifically&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically with regard to Disney films, if we are to truly love our children we must be willing to filter the content they see. Whether it's film, books, friends, we have a duty to protect them. One of my wife's favorite movies as a kid was Cinderella, and as wonderful of a movie as that is, there are some concerns with it that my daughters just aren't ready to handle but they certainly need to someday. Should Cinderella's measure of happiness be that she gets married to a prince? Is it expected that someone who remarries is going to hate her step-children? Why are the mice saying &amp;quot;leave the sewing to the women&amp;quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are not simple questions, and they do not have simple answers. My two year old doesn't even have the necessary vocabulary to try to tackle these questions. My four year old probably does, but doesn't have a broad enough life context for it to make any sense. And she's at such an impressionable age any conversation we did have with her is likely to simply impress upon her my wife's and my views as opposed to her reaching her own conclusions, which is something we can't avoid entirely but would like to at least try to not make her a cookie-cutter version of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Conclusion&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make a long story short, you need to make sure you know why the child is watching the movie. It's really not much different than introducing anything else to a child through the years, whether it's brussel sprouts, swimming lessons, stand-up comedy, or beer. Once you've identified your objectives (which could be as simple as getting him acclimated to movies!) find an appropriate movie and try it. When you're done, see if you met your objectives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T15:22:58.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14682" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-28T15:27:11.543" Score="7" ViewCount="31527" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-year-old child has very aggressive behavior. He is very sweet and caring when he is in a great mood, but he loses his temper in few seconds. For example, when my 10-year-old son touches his things or even looks at his things, he becomes angry and starts screaming and abusing. He spits all the time, scratches with his nails, and uses abusive language all the time. I speak with him making him understand, but then he comes to hit me. He has had this behavior for the past two years. In school most of the time he is fine, but once in a while I do get complaints about his aggressive behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also started doing family meetings where we sit down every night to discuss and write about any unhappy or inappropriate behavior by any one of us and then everyone receives happy face if we did good deed and sad face if we hurt someone. And the rule is if we all get happy faces then is the time we can go eat food in a restaurant. But that doesn't seem to work either. My husband and I have done lots of talking with him about not using his hands and mouth to spit and saying dirty words, but he doesn't care about anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Physically he is very petite as per his age. He looks like a 4-year-old child. He has very bad eating habits as when he was young he had some issues with constipation and that's why he learned to hold his bowel movements. Because he started holding them he became less energetic, so I used to forcefully make him sit on the toilet, as I knew once he is on toilet he will pass his bowel right away. But sitting on the toilet was a big struggle. I used to also force him for food as he would not eat much until his movements are clear. We did lots of tests on him, but nothing could be found and doctors told me he would grow at a slower pace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So now I don't force him for anything, understanding that he will use his own skill to understand his body and there won't be any struggles between us. So now he goes to toilet every 4-5 days and sometimes he eats great. The other times he doesn't eat for like 12-15 hours. I want to force him to eat, but at the same time I don't want to struggle with him. I think his aggressive behavior could also be due to our struggles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can be done to help him and me to change his behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9643" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2019-05-18T13:09:29.670" LastActivityDate="2019-05-18T13:09:29.670" Title="How to stop my 6-year-old from his aggressive behavior of spitting, biting, abusive language, and scratching?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|violence|profanity|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14678" CreationDate="2014-08-28T15:30:18.747" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on the movie. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 3 year old loved Cars since he was 2, and was happily watching Planes at 3. He was not interested in Horton Hears a Who - too much dialogue even if the content is age appropriate in my opinion. &#xA;I would wait a bit with letting him watch The Lion King (too scary) and Bambi (VERY scary).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend the site &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.commonsensemedia.org/&quot;&gt;commonSenseMedia.org&lt;/a&gt;, they have age recommendations and detailed reviews with what sort of language, questionable content, scary stuff etc. you can expect for the movie. &#xA;Each category also has a rating, such as positive messages, violence, consumerism and so forth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find it much more detailed and useful than MPAA (or BBFC) ratings. Even if you don't agree with the age rating, you can usually find something +/- a couple of years and determine if it is appropriate for your family and your child based on their descriptions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, they rate Cars for 5 years olds, and their review reads:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parents need to know that the car characters do some pretty raucous racing, careening off walls, trees, and each other. A group of The Fast and the Furious-style vehicles briefly threaten another car. Cars argue with one another, lose their tempers, and look sad or lonely. There's some innocent flirtation between boy and girl cars. Some mild language -- at least one use of &quot;hell.&quot; At 116 minutes, it's on the long side for animation and may be too much for some really little kids. But stick around for the closing credits!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, there are parents comments, that can lend you insight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The site also reviews games, apps, websites, books, tv and music. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: I really love the detail of this site, for while optimally you should watch everything you let your child see first, realistically it is just not possible. This helps a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-08-28T18:34:26.363" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T18:34:26.363" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14682" CreationDate="2014-08-28T15:50:25.470" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It looks like you have 2 issues:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Food&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Behavior&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it might be helpful for you to separate the 2 issues in your mind and in you actions. Maybe you can work on one at a time? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) For the food issue, does his pediatrician say he is not growing as he needs to? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, then every recommendation I have heard says to let kids be in charge of how much they eat. For us, it works great to ask that a) you sit down with the family for dinner and b) you take one bite. You also have to wait a little to be excused (usually looking at the food makes you want to eat, if hungry). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is not growing as he needs to you obviously needs to talk to a pediatrician about how to get calories in him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) I don't have any great answers for the behavior issues. I hope you get some good ones answers.&#xA;I would say, though, that it sounds like that by writing down 'bad deed' you focus on the negative (rather than  - what was the good things we did today? Or maybe even: what was the best thing, what was the worst thing?). It may also make you son feel singled out, if the rest of you mostly get happy faces, and he gets sad faces. He might not know how to control his behavior, and feel he is singled out? I also wonder if the reward is too abstract because it is time wise removed from the behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T15:50:25.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5924" CreationDate="2014-08-28T16:00:06.293" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is still getting views, so I thought I would post my own follow-up answer.  In retrospect, it was quite obvious that his behavior issues were much more frequent than most children.  Rather than adjusting to the rules and eventually settling in like his classmates, our son's behavior issues at school increased in severity and frequency.  A year later, he was still attempting only about 15% of his assigned in-class work, and was crying or disrupting others for most of the rest of the day, pretty much every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We and his teachers tried several different approaches across the spectrum.  Nothing helped.  Every single morning he would go to school enthusiastic and optimistic that, &quot;I'm going to be good today!&quot;  Every single afternoon he would leave school crying and feeling like his own behavior was completely outside his control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We eventually determined that trying to change him to fit the school's model of behavior wasn't going to work.  Like Paul Cline's comment said, sitting still and paying attention all day is the unusual behavior for his age, and that seems to go quadruple for our son.  We decided to pull him out last year to homeschool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been hugely beneficial for our son in the following ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He gets breaks when he needs them instead of on the schedule of the &quot;average&quot; child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He gets a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; more physical activity, both during breaks and during instructional activities.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We don't move on until he has individually mastered a topic, so he never feels like he doesn't even need to try.  He knows he's not going to get left behind in order to keep the pace of the &quot;average&quot; student, a pace that keeps getting faster with higher standards to meet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We can tailor activities to his interests, which helps him stay focused longer.  For example, he was highly motivated to increase his reading level in order to be able to understand comic books.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not like he has suddenly become a perfect child, as my other recent questions like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14632/destructive-when-unattended&quot;&gt;Destructive when unattended&lt;/a&gt; can attest.  The difference now is his behavior isn't interfering with his education.  He is actually a grade level ahead in reading now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For future readers who find themselves in a similar situation, I wouldn't necessarily recommend homeschooling specifically, but to find &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; way to change your child's environment to match his disposition and learning style, rather than the other way around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T16:00:06.293" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14682" CreationDate="2014-08-28T18:34:34.987" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's great that you are discussing behavior and offering rewards, but at his age, the consequence for his actions needs to be immediate or he will not adjust his behavior. Have you ever heard of &quot;Love and Logic&quot;? It is a parenting program that I've found very useful with my own temper-prone child. Here are the basics:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Understand that children learn how to behave by making mistakes and misbehaving. This can really help put you in the mindset to respond appropriately when they do things that madden you. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When your child misbehaves, it's your job to help them see the natural consequence of that behavior. Have a little phrase that you say when you notice him start to misbehave (&quot;Uh-oh&quot; &quot;Oh-no&quot;). Like Pavlov's bell, this will eventually become a reminder that he needs to get himself in check before the consequence is applied. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You should always respond with empathy, so your child makes the connection between the consequence and his actions, instead of focusing his anger on you. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in your example of attacking someone violently, I think the best consequence is to remove him from other people. That is really the only option for keeping everyone safe. When I noticed that he was starting to lose control, I would say &quot;Uh-oh. looks like we need to cool down. Do you want to go to your room on your own or should I carry you?&quot; Of course, depending on how quickly he's angered, there might not be time for all that - you may just need to say &quot;Uh-oh&quot;, pick him up, and put him in his room. Once he is in his room, do not give him any attention until he has calmed down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house we turned the door knob on my son's door around so we could lock the door. While he was locked in, we sat outside in the hallway just to keep an ear and make sure he was safe, but we did not respond to him as he yelled and cried. Once he was quiet, he was welcome to come back. If you go with the lock option, I hope it goes without saying that you can't just abandon the child there - you really need to monitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your son is calm, it would be a great idea to start working on skills for managing his anger. Start by talking to him about how he feels when he gets angry. My son would describe it as feeling like a stomach ache and feeling like he couldn't see. Understanding what anger feels like before your temper takes over is the first step for being able to control it yourself. Next, we talked about what he can do to calm down. Teaching slow, deep breathing (&quot;Smell the flowers, blow out the candle&quot;) can be helpful for little ones. The book &quot;Moody Cow Meditates&quot; is a great one for kids, and teaches them how to use a snow globe to calm down. You can also teach your child to put himself in a time out. This is what worked best for our son. I told him that sometimes I need to give myself a time out when I feel angry, and then I showed him how I step away. I let him know that he could do the same thing. We found a safe place for him to go to in order to calm down (this is important - we didn't do this at first, and he would run to get away before he lost his temper - once he ran right into the street!). Now he is 7 and much better at managing. He still gives himself a time out when he is angry. I can't remember the last time I had to put him into a time out unwillingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that the food struggles need to be separated out from the violence, and will leave others to comment there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9149" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T18:34:34.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14682" CreationDate="2014-08-28T19:09:43.337" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The entire family is suffering here; you have my sympathy. Raising a temperamental child is difficult, but you can change things. This has been going on for a long time now, and it will be very difficult to correct the dynamics without a lot of help and support. I have a few recommendations, but you might need professional help from a family therapist if you don't see results from whatever you decide to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Food: No one without severe psychiatric issues starves in the presence of food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't try to control his eating or bowel movements, except for sensible rules he needs to follow. This is a battle you don't need to fight right now. He needs a daily children's multivitamin &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; iron (iron constipates.) He needs to sit at the table while you eat - it's family time. He doesn't have to eat, but he should sit there. Maybe he can even do a quiet activity - color, draw, build something small with legos, etc. - but he needs to accept that much. Keep healthful foods around so that when he is hungry, he has nutritious options. Don't keep any junk food or foods very high in sugar in the house. If you don't want to deprive your older son of sweets, perhaps you can let him eat some at lunch in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stool: Encourage plenty of fluids, and a daily non-laxative stool softener will help in at least two ways: 1. it will make his stool a bit bulkier so he will have the urge to go more often, and 2. it will be less painful to pass, removing a potential reason he might be holding it in. If he doesn't have a bowel disorder (such as Hirschsprung's), let nature take it's course. It's not likely you can increase his dietary fiber right now. If he doesn't go for a week or more, or is soiling his pants, or has abdominal pain, call his doctor. Read about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/encopresis/basics/definition/con-20029758&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Encopresis&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son sounds like he has a hard time dealing with frustration. It is important for your child to learn how to deal with failure or frustration without losing self-esteem. I agree with @michelle's answer (that he needs a warning word which signals an impending time-out when he starts misbehaving.) I would also recommend a short book called &lt;em&gt;1-2-3 Magic&lt;/em&gt; which outlines a way of giving time outs without argument and with sufficient time for your son to learn to control himself (build up his tolerance to frustration). A sticker chart for the times he does respond by controlling himself and a non-food reward for a certain number of stickers (I used to keep small toys my kids liked in the house to give out immediately once the number of stickers was reached) is a positive reinforcement for good behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; ok for your son to express himself violently or by spitting. This deserves a warning-free immediate time out. Every single time, no matter where he is when he does this. The more consistent you are in your handling of this, the sooner your son learns that his behavior will indeed have consequences, every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is being sweet, clip his nails. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend that the nightly family sit-downs be replaced by weekly sit-downs (since they don't seem to be working well anyway) where the focus is on self-expression, acceptance, and problem-solving for everyone. No stickers need be involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best; it's obvious you love him very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T19:09:43.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14682" CreationDate="2014-08-28T19:17:51.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I exhibited similar behaviour at around the same age and my mum discovered the problem was related to food additives which at the time were in everything imaginable (and quite a lot of stuff you didn't expect like peas).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have the E-Numbers system here (UK) which classifies food additives and labelling laws which state they must be listed where used.  Every additive has a number including naturally derived additives/colourings.  We also have specific legislation covering colourings which have been found to relate to hyperactivity; the label must include the text 'may have an adverse effect on activity and attention in children'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The colours include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sunset yellow (E110)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;quinoline yellow (E104)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;carmoisine (E122)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;allura red (E129)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tartrazine (E102)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ponceau 4R (E124)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/food-additive-intolerance/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NHS Choices - Food Colours and Hyperactivity&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The FDA have, as yet, commissioned no studies and just maintain that such colours are 'safe'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A study published 3 November 2007 in The Lancet suggests that the preservative sodium benzoate and commonly used artificial food colourings in fact may exacerbate hyperactive behaviour in young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2137120/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Diet &amp;amp; Nutrition: Hyperactive Ingredients?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell you it will help for sure and it will take you &lt;em&gt;ages&lt;/em&gt; to get round the supermarket reading every label like a paranoid lunatic - but it's worth researching and trying (if you do it by half-measure it won't work) for a couple of weeks.  Assuming those additives are labelled, which they may or may not be.  Then after a couple of weeks find something that's choc-full of the stuff (a nice bright coloured drink should do it) and if the additives are a problem then sit back and wait for the fireworks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T19:17:51.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14674" CreationDate="2014-08-28T19:53:45.383" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anongoodnurse's answer is spot on, but I wanted to add a couple of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, don't forget we as humans are amazing at pattern recognition, to the point that we see it where it doesn't belong.  You'll hear her 'say' lots of things that seem like perfect words, once, but not again - because she didn't really say it, she just made a sound that your brain converted to a proper word.  (This is why we can understand people talking, much of the time - you probably only really get half to two-thirds of what's said, but your brain figures out the rest.  This is why Telephone is a fun game.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, don't get too hung up on exactly what the word sounds like.  It's very common for a child to be able to understand the concept of a word before being able to pronounce the sounds for that word.  Especially at 12 months, which is still fairly early in the 'talking' spectrum, she may well understand there is a word 'mom', but not be able to say 'm' - so she says 'da' instead.  Or, she uses 'da' to mean 'parent'.  My seventeen month old can say a lot of words (15-20), but still often defaults to 'da' (his first real one) for things he can't pronounce - he points to them and says 'da', or sometimes he uses it for verbs he doesn't know.  But it's clearly an attempt to communicate, and it often works. To me that's the more important aspect of things: the attempt to communicate, not whether it actually sounds remotely close to the word. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally; I wouldn't worry too much about defining 'talking' in any meaningful sense, unless she's over two and still not clearly talking.  A lot of these things we as parents want to check off a box for 'does my child do X', but it's not that simple, and it's not really that important, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-08-28T19:53:45.383" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14691" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-29T11:36:59.670" Score="28" ViewCount="29218" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 11 and confused.  She recently read a book which at the end the character found himself to be gay.  She said that she now has thoughts of girls kissing and it makes her sick, she sometimes gets butterflies in her tummy when she sees girls. She is terrified to being lesbian. She asked me if she might be. I said that those feelings would not make her feel bad if she were.  I believe that those feelings would make her feel good. We are tolerant to gay and lesbian community, but we don't know anyone who is. She said she has feelings like this with boys also.  She is so anxious about being gay that she keeps asking for my reasurance several times a day.  When I said to her that she may feel that these feelings are normal, she is terrified that she will change and like the thoughts about girls.  I just want to help my daughter.  Are these feelings normal? Or is this her bodies way of telling her she is gay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9648" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2014-08-29T18:01:26.727" LastActivityDate="2014-09-02T21:49:10.743" Title="Daughter is 11 and really upset that she may be lesbian" Tags="|anxiety|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-08-29T11:49:33.923" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple answer - these feelings are normal and not necessarily an indication of her sexuality, just a child's confusion and anxiety over physical intimacy.  There is nothing to be concerned about, nothing special you or your daughter needs to do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just let time reveal her sexuality.  When it happens, she'll know it and if she believes that there's nothing wrong with whatever choice she makes, she'll be better prepared to handle it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T11:49:33.923" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-08-29T14:52:34.157" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My daughter is 11 and confused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That sounds like a normal combination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will be a rather different person when she graduates high school. Just be supportive but clear that absolutely nothing she does at 11 will matter all that much later in life. Except failing math - that &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FYI, my almost-daughter dated girls when she was 15. Wasn't shy about it either. Now she's married, has a one-year-old and is expecting a second child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9653" LastEditorUserId="4658" LastEditDate="2014-08-29T18:01:20.627" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T18:01:20.627" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-08-29T15:41:58.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell her, if she doesn't want to be, then she's not. This is the most validating thing you can tell her. Keep telling her that. And keep telling her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;well what about how I feel thinking about girls kissing?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Don't worry about it. If you don't want that, that's not you&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;doing anything else is pressuring her to diverge from what she personally wants. The anxiety is from the cognitive dissonance being shoved upon her. Apparently she cares way more about not being lesbian than about going with her desires. She won't be ready for the latter until she's comfortable making decisions herself and trusting them, such as &amp;quot;this isn't what I want&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of the biggest reasons I'm against making little children read stories about these things or pushing them into sex ed-- I wasn't ready for that until I was 16-17. Thankful I lived 5 years of blissful, normal, sheltered, happy childhood. Children are so fragile, new to the world, questioning everything, doubting everything about themselves. Why can't we just let them have a normal, happy childhood? Why do we have to spoil it with solutions to problems that don't even exist? Her response makes it clear she wasn't ready for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;We have to condition them young to believe the way we want them to believe about sexuality&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of a few reasons why private school attendance is growing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people will never understand &amp;quot;why&amp;quot;, or will but wish to assert their own beliefs, just like the bigots they shake their fist at with these legislations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9656" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T18:01:05.910" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-08-29T16:09:24.750" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask her why she is afraid of turning out to be lesbian, and address that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9658" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T16:09:24.750" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9161" CreationDate="2014-08-29T17:10:12.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think many answers here are good, but take a different approach than I would.  They all presume that spending money to impress girls or fit in is necessarily, and fundamentally, wrong, and there are valid arguments against that.  I think the issue to be addressed here is more one of agency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Situation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you do not necessarily need your child to not spend money on these things, but you need your child to understand that you will not spend your money on these things.  That is establishing your agency.  This is what I would call the most important, and most fundamental, financial lesson.  That in a capitalistic society agency is often tied to money (whether that's right or not is another question).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is over a year into adulthood and, unless we are missing information, fully capable of supporting his own basic needs if necessary.  Many college students work part (or even full) time to put themselves through school, so your support is not a matter of survival.  I think this is important to discuss with your partner.  As is the fact that loving someone involves doing what is best for them and not what is most comfortable, though I agree with previous answers that this discussion should be non-confrontational and without blame (or with shared blame).  You must both be on the same page or nothing you do will be successful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Conversation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sit your son down together and present a united front at all times.  Explain that you are happy to help him with some of his necessities.  Lay out what you are currently willing to pay for and establish a budget.  In this phase I would recommend that you have a budget of necessities only (rent, tuition, groceries, maybe basic clothing).  Explain that he is welcome to spend any money he earns on his own any way he wants.  Be supportive and offer to help him every step of the way in finding a job.  I especially like an earlier suggestion of offering earnings-match.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During that first phase be explicit about agency.  If he is using your money then you get to decide how it is spent.  If he is using his money then he gets to decide how it is spent (on anything he wants, without any nagging or negative comments from parents...which is something you must be willing to do).  This is an important point.  We began using this with our pre-teen daughters and it worked very well to help them see money as a positive thing (something that gives agency) instead of a negative thing (something that limits).  Your situation is a little different as your son has already established certain associations with money in the latter sense, but I think this could still help to provide a positive counter-point.  Everyone wants control over their own life; help him see this as a way to gain something he doesn't have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a second part of this conversation, explain that the amount that you provide to him will decrease by 30% per year (or whatever number you feel is tenable).  Explain why you are doing this.  He must learn to support himself.  You're willing to help by providing assistance as he slowly weans off of your support.  Depending on his point of view, and your relationship, you could make a point that any support you give is no longer required of you and is, in fact, a favor.  Were my 19 year old to act like any money I gave them was anything other than a treasured gift, they would not receive it, but every parent/child relationship is different.  If you want to continue to support him through school, then instead tell him that your support will decrease by 10% per month beginning the third month after he graduates, or something similar.  Whatever your plan is, make sure it is clearly communicated so he has expectations and can plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son will be angry.  Your son will likely yell and likely storm off.  Prepare for this.  Do not show anger; maintain a position of love and support, as if you were forcing a baby to swallow a pill they needed but did not want.  If he storms off let him cool down a bit, but in your very next interaction pick up the conversation exactly where you left off.  If he asks good questions (as opposed to rhetorical ones out of anger) answer them, but immediately return to the topic.  Don't get sidetracked into a tangential point.  Most importantly, if he refuses to have the conversation go through with the plan exactly as you would have otherwise.  The conversation is not to hammer out an agreement, but rather notification to him of what you have already decided to do.  He will come back to get that explanation eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, never disagree with your partner during this conversation.  The moment you show the slightest crack in that united front he will find a way to drive a chisel in there and pry it into a chasm.  It's just what kids are good at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other Points&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeling guilty, or like you're failing him, or like your bad parents, or like you're putting him in danger are all normal feelings.  They will not be comfortable.  But you are doing no favors by teaching him to be financially reliant on you for the rest of his life.  Uncomfortable as it is, teaching him self-sufficiency is the only real option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All children are different.  All parents are different.  All parent/child relationships are different.  How you handle this will have serious repercussions both in his life and in your relationship with him.  Don't try to follow any advice given in any answer word for word; take it an modify it to fit your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent I know how easy it is to always see our children as our 'little kids'.  But he is an adult now and clearly has not yet learned to act like one in terms of finances.  This puts him at a disadvantage, and if he is going to compete and succeed in the world he needs to not just start doing as well as his peers, but going above and beyond so that he can catch up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7735" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T17:10:12.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-08-29T17:43:09.687" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two important messages:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) She's thinking about it because she's thinking about it. It's like trying not to think of an elephant. If she just stops worrying about it her mind will move to something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) But I agree that if it really &quot;makes her sick&quot;, the thing to do is to help her deal with her feelings, not with the thoughts. If it just isn't something she wants to do, that's fine -- she isn't required to kiss anyone she doesn't want to, of any gender (except maybe Great-Aunt Murgatroyd). If she can't deal with the idea that other people kiss (at that age, &quot;it's yucchy!&quot; covers a lot of adult behavior), just tell her that's OK for now but she may feel differently when she's older. If her problem is specifically two girls kissing, that's a combination of these two points: if it isn't right for her, that's OK, but others can feel differently and that's OK too, and people change as they grow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the problem is that YOU can't deal with the concept and are afraid of her discovering that she's homosexual -- or sexual at all -- you need to take the same advice. Making a big deal out of it is harmful. &quot;Yeah, some people feel that way, some don't, for some it depends on the specific individual and situation... there's nothing to worry about; you will do what makes sense for you, and you should let others do what makes sense for them, as long as nobody's being hurt.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6977" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T17:43:09.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-08-29T19:23:34.157" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before anyone misinterprets what I say here, I have no desire to dismiss or diminish issues of sexual orientation. This is just a possibility. The validity of her orientation is not in question; her suffering is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is suffering, regardless of her true/ultimate sexual orientation. If she is having thoughts that cause her such dismay, there may be something else going on here: she may be having obsessive, intrusive thoughts, which may be a sign of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With all the exposure to sexuality that people have in the media today (including social media), she may have been exposed to an idea that is both fascinating and frightening to her, and has latched on to it. (Obsessive thoughts are often illogical.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read a bit about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ocd/basics/definition/con-20027827&quot;&gt;Obsessive Compulsive Disorder&lt;/a&gt;. Though it is only an overview, this sounds a bit like your daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;With OCD, you may or may not realize that your obsessions aren't reasonable, and you may try to ignore them or stop them. But that only increases your distress and anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not share this diagnostic possibility with her. I would try comforting her first, but if she continues for weeks to have deep fears or obsessive thoughts, I think an appointment with her Pediatrician is in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might explain to her that she is young yet to be struggling with this issue and that her thoughts are showing curiosity, but not indicative of her true sexual preferences. As someone else mentioned, it's hard to force yourself not to think about things that frighten you. Reassure her that her thoughts can't control her. As I mentioned, if these thoughts continue to distress her, or you see other evidence of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ocd/basics/definition/con-20027827&quot;&gt;OCD&lt;/a&gt;, a visit with her primary care provider may be in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T19:23:34.157" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14682" CreationDate="2014-08-29T20:20:29.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Poor growth, constipation and irritability could point to Celiac disease.  It sometimes takes years to reach a level of advancement where it can be detected in blood tests.  Even if he has tested negative in the past, it may be worth requesting at each yearly check up.  It took over a decade for my diagnosis, because my doctors were busy trying to treat each individual symptom as it occurred, not realizing it had a single underlying cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9665" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T20:20:29.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-08-29T20:43:44.210" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is obviously confused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could ask her why feelings of revulsion for boys and girls, makes her afraid of being gay, but not afraid of being straight?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she thinks feelings of revulsion are what she might feel if she finds out she is a lesbian.  But of course it doesn't work like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also one can develop sexual feelings and still dislike kissing. But it isn't a good idea to mention that. Otherwise she'll start having thoughts of sex, and the feelings associated with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really if it repulses her then she should learn not to think about it. And when she is older she is likely to develop sexual feelings, then she may feel elation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's quite normal for a thought of something sexual towards somebody you are not sexually attracted to, causes you to feel repulsed.  So one wouldn't think about it(unless they were worried about something and her worry makes no sense and is based on confusion). If she changes and becomes attracted, then she won't feel repulsed.  I think her confusion might be not realising that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So she doesn't have to worry that she'll &quot;find out&quot; she's a lesbian (or straight) and do something that repulses her.  You could ask her why she isn't afraid of finding out she is straight and kissing boys - when she feels repulsed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not intolerant to feel repulsed by these things. Toleration is how you treat people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6622" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T20:43:44.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14678" CreationDate="2014-08-29T21:10:45.200" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with a lot of what has already been said but I wanted to add a piece that I think is missing.  When dealing with very young children, be aware that just because something is incomprehensible to them (they can't follow the dialog, don't realize the actions they see are &quot;bad&quot; or &quot;dangerous&quot;) it is still very easy for them to be frightened by certain imagery.  This can be particularly hard for adults to &quot;guess&quot; correctly for some things that don't look very scary to us at all may frighten them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two examples, my under 2 toddler really enjoys Sesame Street and loves songs and music.  So my wife started showing him Fraggle Rock episodes which also use Jim Henson &quot;Muppets&quot; and have lots of songs (and are shorter than full Sesame Street episodes).  He liked most of the show but was scared by the large &quot;monster&quot; puppets on the show.  I am not sure why (they don't seem that different from Big Bird or Snuffleupagus) but they are &quot;the bad guys&quot; in the show and have more confrontations with the &quot;fraggles&quot; than you see on Sesame Street.  We no longer watch Fraggle Rock with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A second example, my 3 year old niece watched Despicable Me 2 at her daycare.  She came home saying that she did not like the movie because of the &quot;scary man&quot;.  I think she was referring to &quot;Gru&quot; the main character, who is supposed to be the good guy in the story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my point is just because young kids may not understand the themes or objectionable content of some shows/movies, keep in mind for really your kids find some things scary that we (as adults) don't consider scary (it may not even occur to us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When reading a book about sleep issues in children (&lt;em&gt;Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep&lt;/em&gt;) written by pediatrician Dr. William Sears, he argued that seeing these &quot;scary&quot; images in various media puts these images in their mind and can lead to nightmares at earlier ages.  When they are left to use their own imagination they basically don't imagine something so scary it actually frightens them.  Sure they may talk about monsters or something but just imagining monsters does not stick in their mind in a scary was as much as seeing the scary image a Hollywood makeup artists makes for a &quot;monster&quot;.  Not sure there is much hard data or science behind this, but the book has written by a doctor (FWIW).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1336" LastEditorUserId="1336" LastEditDate="2014-08-29T21:17:42.887" LastActivityDate="2014-08-29T21:17:42.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10542" CreationDate="2014-08-30T03:35:34.783" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just throwing this out, but I wonder if &lt;em&gt;imagination&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;humor&lt;/em&gt; could possibly help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you and she can agree to work on a &lt;strong&gt;&quot;Fictional Character Heaven&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; where all characters go when they die in fiction, and then you can get a little silly with it, put a light touch on it. She can work with you on what Frank is doing there, happy and whole, maybe playing badminton with someone else who died in another book.  This way she can replace the scary/sad images that she is obsessing about with new imagery, and perhaps that will greatly mute her suffering and obsessing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest this because often the way something &lt;strong&gt;ends&lt;/strong&gt; is the way it is generally remembered and overall perceived (for more, see &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak%E2%80%93end_rule&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Peak-end Rule&lt;/a&gt;), and there is no clearer end than a death...unless there is an afterlife for the character. So your daughter is &quot;frozen&quot; on Frank's death/suffering, which is the entirety of the experience of Frank for her, but if you together can add a &lt;em&gt;new&lt;/em&gt; ending, that may be how she generally accesses thinking about Frank, or whichever character. And that might really help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6547" LastActivityDate="2014-08-30T03:35:34.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10476" CreationDate="2014-08-30T06:07:04.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No studies here. Personal experience and science-based observation. My mother is and always has been a brilliant and disturbed person. I knew my grandfather, her dad, was brilliant and died when I was three. Mom's only sibling died of cancer at age 18 a year before. I skip an abundance of paragraphs and notes here... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the age of thirty-four, mother tells me that grandpa did not die of diabetes, as proffered, but of a gruesome suicide. To this day decades later I am still sorting the events and confusion that misinformation has placed in my life choices. And whatever of it I have passed on to my offspring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9671" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-18T06:28:07.517" LastActivityDate="2017-01-18T06:28:07.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14499" CreationDate="2014-08-30T15:20:50.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found that the best way to troubleshoot this problem was to closely examine her routines--specifically when she was getting up, when she was taking naps, and what she was doing before bedtime. After reviewing this, a few things became clear:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She did not have a consistent wake and nap schedule, waking between 9-11:30 AM and going to bed around 10 PM (but not sleeping much until about 3 AM)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She was taking naps on-demand, at random times&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her naps were averaging 30-40 minutes, not enough for quality REM sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Due to the short naps and frequent wakings, she was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycareadvice.com/babycare/general_help/article.php?id=31&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;over tired&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overtiredness was the root of the problem.&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; Over the course of several weeks, it had gotten so bad that most methods of calming her (holding, rocking, nursing, etc) stopped working altogether. In a desperate attempt to get sleep for all of us, we attempted to re-introduce the pacifier, but she completely rejected it. The &quot;cry it out&quot; method (specifically the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferberization&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ferberization method&lt;/a&gt;) was not effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution that ultimately reversed her overtiredness involved the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Strict wake time (8 AM)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Strict nap times (10:00-noon, 3:00-5:00)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A bed time routine starting at exactly 7:00 PM, that included a bath, nursing, story time, nursing (with lights out) and bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting her down slightly awake, rather than asleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;White noise CD, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00009TXZL&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of these things, the strict sleep schedule was by far the most effective. She also woke much less frequently with white noise in the background.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once on a consistent schedule, she began to get more sleep, and the fussiness subsided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One technique that I found very successful to get her from arms to crib without annoying her was to hum, which offered her a consistent distraction during the process. She particularly enjoys Aerith's theme from Final Fantasy 7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;hr/&gt;&#xA;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; Several friends and co-workers wanted to blame teething too. I was inclinded to believe that at first too, but it was more of a phantom than anything else. Proof of this would be that about 2 weeks after we got her back to sleeping, she cut 3 teeth at the same time. This had a negligible affect on the quality of her sleep. I think blaming teething for unexplained problems can be a bit dangerous, because solutions for that problem include giving medications such as topical gels and acetaminophen. Many of the topical medications include benzocaine, but do not have clear warnings that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/melanie-parentingcom/fda-issues-warning-about-drug-teething-medication&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;they can be fatal&lt;/a&gt; to small babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9494" LastActivityDate="2014-08-30T15:20:50.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-08-30T18:35:08.027" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not a sexual orientation issue. It is an anxiety problem that happens to have sexual orientation as its focus. The issue here is that she is having intense anxiety about this idea, and it is interrupting her ability to cope with life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While reassurance often works as a first line treatment, it can also make things worse. If she's having to be reassured extremely often, that may be the wrong approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Counterintuitively, sometimes the correct approach is to stop reassuring, stop trying to make it better. Stop trying to prove to her that she isn't gay or reassure her that it's okay if she is. Don't act like &quot;turning gay&quot; would be something to be afraid of. Don't act like not knowing is something to be afraid of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to realize the problem is not that she thinks she might be gay. The problem is that she is distressed about the idea of possibly being gay. By reassuring her, you are inadvertently telling her brain that her distress is legitimate. You don't need reassurance about something that isn't scary, after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, of course, if you need it, get help from outside sources. This is just one of many things that a professional therapist or psychologist would suggest for these symptoms. The goal is not to make the thought go away (whether by proving it wrong or seeking reassurance or just ignoring it), but to stop being distressed by it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, the thought will also go away once it is no longer distressing, but, if it doesn't, it doesn't matter. It's no longer a distressing thought, so having it doesn't cause problems anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9674" LastEditorUserId="9674" LastEditDate="2014-09-02T21:49:10.743" LastActivityDate="2014-09-02T21:49:10.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14678" CreationDate="2014-08-31T08:09:24.870" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the child, the film, and quite a bit of pure chance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son, who is now nearly four, although he loves Disney films, still finds aspects of many of them scary. Until a few months ago he found the climax of &lt;em&gt;Frozen&lt;/em&gt; very scary, but enjoyed the rest of the film. &lt;em&gt;Tangled&lt;/em&gt;, which I'd personally rate roughly equally with &lt;em&gt;Frozen&lt;/em&gt; on the scariness scale, he never had much of a problem with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conversely both kids really love the Wallace and Gromit films, especially &lt;em&gt;A Matter of Loaf and Death&lt;/em&gt;, howling with laughter during the &lt;strong&gt;murder scene&lt;/strong&gt; at the beginning. (Though I don't think they quite understand the character is supposed to have died - as far as they know he was just knocked on the head with a rolling pin and landed face down in some dough.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just make sure you're sitting with them to reassure them over anything they find scary, and explain anything they're confused about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regards to worrying about the morality of and attitudes displayed in older Disney films, it's probably a matter of watching them first on your own to pick out any potential issues, and then deciding on their appropriateness. I re-watched &lt;em&gt;Peter Pan&lt;/em&gt; a couple of months ago for the first time since I was a child and was, like you, struck by the way the Native Americans were portrayed. I was also surprised by the sexual overtones in the way Wendy, Tiger Lily, and Tinker Bell compete for Peter's attention. Rewatching &lt;em&gt;The Little Mermaid&lt;/em&gt; as an adult I was struck by how Ariel gave up her family, her life, and literally her voice, to impress some guy she's never even met. Overall I'd suggest that anything from this century ought to be fine, and from the 20th century &lt;em&gt;Beauty and the Beast&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;The Lion King&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;Mulan&lt;/em&gt;, are reasonably progressive (there may be others I've missed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, a year old seems to young to watch any feature-length film regardless of the content. Most toddlers will not have the attention span to sit though 90 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-08-31T08:09:24.870" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11014" CreationDate="2014-08-31T09:42:22.020" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bit late to the party, but as no one else mentioned it....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A very effective way to deal with &quot;arrangements&quot; is to be a bad date. Your parents appear to be conservative, their friends likely are the same, so meet the set-up acting as unsuitable as possible. Biker jacket, jeans, don't shower, cheap restaurant (strip clubs work great here. Or breastaurants like Hooters) and tell the server when you both sit down that it's separate cheques. Keep the dinner conversation at a construction worker level (ogling the waitress at least half the time) and it's highly unlikely you will ever hear from the girl again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Assuming you're not really a complete jerk, give the server a big tip. Like $50)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9653" LastActivityDate="2014-08-31T09:42:22.020" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14711" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-08-31T20:42:25.280" Score="0" ViewCount="430" Body="&lt;p&gt;It used to be she wouldn't sleep in her room but slept in the living room. Now she wants to sleep in our room and we don't believe in that. I am ok with naps but not at night - she moves a lot in her sleep and I am a light sleeper - as is my husband. Her communication skills aren't great so I don't know what the next step should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6876" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-18T23:43:55.647" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:43:55.647" Title="My 3 year old daughter no longer wants to sleep in her room, wants to sleep ours and I don't know why" Tags="|sleep|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-09-01T08:11:18.447" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she's 11 then its unlikely she's gone through puberty yet and if she has then she'll be ahead of most of her peers (with whom she probably discusses such matters).  What 11 year old boy or girl doesn't go through such a phase of uncertainty and come through it OK as puberty passes and hormones eventually settle?  Its perfectly normal IMHO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/sexual_orientation.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/sexual_orientation.html&lt;/a&gt; &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/201-lessons&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/201-lessons&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9688" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-02T16:00:37.077" LastActivityDate="2014-09-02T16:00:37.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14691" CreationDate="2014-09-01T09:53:18.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a nutshell, she appears revulsed at not being revulsed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not really as much about her sexual identity (at 11, her hormonal balance is not established to a degree that would make attaching labels anything but ridiculous) as about defining her personal acceptance levels in a way compatible with that of others and with social expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people are capable of developing in a number of directions.  Having one direction prescribed by social pressure may simplify matters for them greatly and lead them into a fulfilled life where they are convinced of having done the right thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fixating on a sexual orientation in order to blend in well is like choosing a pimp in order to reduce the number of people likely to beat you up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter may not be at such a time in her life where figuring out whether she may end up in a lesbian lifestyle makes a lot of sense.  But she is at an age where she can figure out whether she wants to be a bigot, and that's what you should focus about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can choose friends that would not drop her like a hot potato if she turned out to be either lesbian or hetero.  You can teach her that that is a shallow way to look at people, and that it is not the way you look at people and want her to look at people.  And I hope it isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not being homosexual will keep more doors open in life for you than otherwise.  It is a matter of self-respect not to use them.  While being a particular person results in a lot of variation in your opportunities and that's something you have only limited influence on, there are clearly labelled doors based on social branding.  And it is a matter of self-respect as a civilized person not to make use of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not like the world is in short supply of bigotry.  No need to contribute here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9690" LastActivityDate="2014-09-01T09:53:18.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14718" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14736" CreationDate="2014-09-01T13:26:30.033" Score="17" ViewCount="42282" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have an almost 2-year-old daughter, whom since the age of about 6 months, cries when we laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the first approximately 6-9 months, this was pretty much every time we laughed. Since then it's usually only when she's sensitive (i.e. overtired, hungry, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The scenario is usually:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;all sitting at a dining table&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;wife and I discussing something&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;one of us laughs or starts chuckling (we aren't loud!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;daughter looks at the person that started laughing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;her face goes bright red, mouth open, expression of &quot;horrified&quot;, starts crying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when she's able to speak, says things like &quot;mummy/daddy not laugh&quot; but can't tell us much else about what's happening for her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From about 14 months she's developed a lot of language, and seems to understand intellectually when we explain &quot;laughing makes me happy&quot;, &quot;it's OK to laugh&quot;, etc. with vigorous head nods. This can also help to calm her down. However another laugh causes the emotions to override all logic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It feels to us like she thinks we are laughing at her, but who knows. It rarely happens when other people laugh. She can laugh and that's OK but sometimes when we laugh back she gets upset again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from this behaviour, she seems to behave like a &quot;normal&quot; child of her age. We have seen her develop phobias when something has really scared her but so far they've never lasted longer than a few months. Maybe repeated laughing is repeated exposure so she can't get over it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As this has been going on for so long (not to say we'd like to be able to freely laugh in our own home!), we're not sure if there is something more serious going on that we should pay attention to. Or if there's something more we can do to help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="361" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-03T12:42:56.410" LastActivityDate="2019-05-03T12:42:56.410" Title="Why does my child cry when her parents laugh?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14719" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-02T02:46:48.933" Score="6" ViewCount="24517" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 20 weeks pregnant. I want to know if excessive laughing can cause any harm to my baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9564" LastEditorUserId="9285" LastEditDate="2014-09-04T12:11:01.207" LastActivityDate="2014-10-04T15:44:30.353" Title="Does excessive laughing while pregnant cause any harm to my baby?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14711" CreationDate="2014-09-02T08:12:01.470" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent from opposite side of allowing childern to sleep in same bed, I can tell you info from same feeling group of parents:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The kid is communicating that something bad happened to them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be something trivial (like having issues with friend in kindergarten) or something serious (feeling sick, feeling threatened...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try to change going to bed ritual. Like &quot;catch all ghosts&quot; or something like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9700" LastActivityDate="2014-09-02T08:12:01.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14719" CreationDate="2014-09-02T09:00:33.927" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a doctor, but I would be fairly confident in saying that laughing will not harm your unborn child, as long as it does not harm you. There are extremely rare cases of non-pregnant &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_from_laughter&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;adults dying from laughter&lt;/a&gt;, but not enough to worry about. I'd guess that in the long run, not laughing is worse for your health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The effects you might be concerned about may be the feeling of breathlessness you experience when laughing and the vigorous shaking of your abdomen. I would suggest that both of these are comparable with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/exercise-during-pregnancy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;moderate exercise, which is recommended during pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you were physically active before your pregnancy, you should be&#xA;  able to continue your activity in moderation. Don't try to exercise at&#xA;  your former level; instead, do what's most comfortable for you now.&#xA;  Low impact aerobics are encouraged versus high impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't find a reference for it, but I heard that a woman's body is careful to prioritise oxygen for the foetus during exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some studies have suggested that a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/science/2007/may/31/childrensservices.medicineandhealth&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;mother's stress can have a negative impact on the unborn child&lt;/a&gt;, so perhaps laughter may even do them good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastEditorUserId="4031" LastEditDate="2014-10-04T15:44:30.353" LastActivityDate="2014-10-04T15:44:30.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14723" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-02T14:26:40.993" Score="5" ViewCount="767" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 years old. I do not know who his father is, however I know a person it could potentially be.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am in a deep struggle about whether to get a DNA test or not. When I got pregnant with my son I was on drugs and the persons it could potentially be were also doing drugs. I have totally changed my life around: been sober for 2 years, involved in church, work full time and go to school.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have since talked to this man and can tell he is not into drugs like he used to be and even has a daughter of his own and seems to be a good father.  I struggle because with everything I have changed in the last 2 years to protect my son (people I have let go, the fact that I &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; leave my son unless it's for work or school) well it really scares me the possibilities that could come up from this situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I will say that I don't know what this man is into or for that matter if he's into anything at all. It just scares me what could possibly happen. My son is my whole life and he is loved by many and can feel that love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: does a child have the right to know who their father is whether or not he is a good or a bad person?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9703" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-12T17:01:00.153" LastActivityDate="2018-05-13T05:31:52.030" Title="I struggle with paternity testing the potential father of my 2-year-old son. Does a child have a right to know who their father is?" Tags="|toddler|parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14664" CreationDate="2014-09-02T18:28:20.570" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having the experience behind, here's a list of things to remember when preparing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;General trip preparations&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a sufficient supply of diapers, unless shops are certain to be available&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a set of clothes 1.5x times larger than the minimum for the amount of days you will be spending on the trip (feel free to modify the multiplier if you feel your baby is cleaner/dirtier than the usual baby)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a choice of clothes suitable for the expected weather &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a few smaller packages of wet wipes - sufficient for the whole trip (larger ones may be heavy to carry in a bag/bagpack)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a portable travel bed to which the baby is used to (or at least accustomed with a few days before, in a comfortable and safe environment)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;food for the baby for at least a few days into the trip; make sure you have enough or a shop available at your destination&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a supply of plastic bags or other dirty-diaper smell-hazard-protection equipment for a few days&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a portable changing mat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a baby bath tub (unless one is available where you are staying)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a supply of baby skin/health care products&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;an electronic thermometer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;at least a small supply fever reducing medicine for the baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bandages (bandaid?), sterile cloth, skin disinfectant spray (antiseptics)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a large, comfortable car is strongly suggested&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a baby carriage/stroller&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;blankets, tetra diapers, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Hiking&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a comfortable baby carrier; make sure the hips are in a natural, spread position&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the weather changes rapidly in the mountains - get a raincoat and make sure the carrier is rain-ready&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;good, comfortable, pre-worn hiking boots for both parents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a comfortable bagpack for other baby stuff&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;at least one meal more than you expect will be needed for the baby to eat on the way&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a change of clothes/additional clothes in case it gets colder&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dress yourselves and the baby in layers; add or remove when necessary&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-09-02T18:28:20.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14725" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-03T01:51:07.233" Score="2" ViewCount="913" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is four and he has a really bad temper. He'll get up and go to school and when he gets home there'll be a note stating whether he was good or bad. Most day's are good but he gets into moods where he wants to act up and kick his class mates. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he gets home, he'll watch some TV but right after that he'll start to play with his younger brother, who is almost eleven months old. He starts to push him, hit him, he even pushed him off the couch and he hit his head on the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried time out, no TV, number of things and it just doesn't seem to work, please.... I need some help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9704" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-03T16:40:40.000" LastActivityDate="2014-09-03T16:40:40.000" Title="My four year old is out of control" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14726" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14730" CreationDate="2014-09-03T12:19:16.140" Score="14" ViewCount="9558" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old son has a bit of cash. Not much, like around 10 €.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't give him pocket money yet, and he got this money by 'chance', for example he can receive the money when we empty the pocket of a pant before washing it, or if he returns back the supermarket trolley.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that money is still very virtual to him, and he does not have too much way of spending it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He started one month ago to give away his money to friends and relatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We think that he wants to give his money as a poof of love, but we don't know how to make him feel that this is his money, and that he should not distribute it to people that don't need to receive any money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we explain to him that he should keep his money ? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;we don't want to break his generosity will, but a drawing or a letter is more suited as a gift for his relatives. I won't say no if he wants to give money to a person in need.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For us coins are not marbles: it is a special thing and we just want our kid to have a  clear mind about it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We don't want him to worhship money, but we want him to respect the value of it (and the work behind).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also don't want to give money for chore: we think that helping at home is part of the life and does not merit a reward... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Following your advices&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, we won't give him any more money to him until we decide that he can have pocket money. &#xA;He will have access to his current money to buy his own stuff in yard-sale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9584" LastEditorUserId="9584" LastEditDate="2014-09-08T07:37:03.097" LastActivityDate="2014-09-09T12:11:45.370" Title="6 year old son gives money away (to parent, relatives, friends)" Tags="|money|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14725" CreationDate="2014-09-03T15:38:03.610" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A great way to proceed here is to try and discover the source of your child's frustration.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some common sources of frustration:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has your child's routine recently changed?&#xA;Is your child feeling jealous of the time you spend with his younger brother?&#xA;Does he feel that he's unable to communicate his thoughts?&#xA;Is your child getting enough rest during the night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At four years old your child should be able to answer these questions if asked calmly in conversation.  Try asking how he feels about school, his brother, as you may find many more details through a calm conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9707" LastActivityDate="2014-09-03T15:38:03.610" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14723" CreationDate="2014-09-03T15:38:47.593" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My son is my whole life and he is loved by many and can feel that love but my question is does a child have the right to know who their father is whether or not he is a good or bad person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's not enough information available about the person you suspect may be the father, nor about how likely you feel it is that this person is the father.  Nor do we know anything about whether the man would even be willing to participate in the paternity test, or if you've discussed it with him at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether or not you try to get a DNA test is up to you, and any advice you get here will just be opinions.  There's just not enough information to go by to even give you an informed opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, to address the question I quoted above, about whether a child has the right to know who their father is...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not a matter of the child's &quot;right&quot;.  Many children grow up never knowing who one or both of their parents are.  Talking about it as his &quot;right&quot; is probably not the best way to look at the situation, especially since you don't even know (yet) if this person is the father.  What if he isn't?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What matters is: will it be good for your son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's almost impossible to say, especially given that you don't know much about this guy, or how he'd react.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So instead, look at it the other way: will it be bad for your son if he doesn't know who his father is?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, the answer is a qualified &quot;no&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, he'll wonder.  He may even be sad about not knowing at some points in his life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the important thing is that he has people &lt;em&gt;in his life&lt;/em&gt; who love him and support him.  Knowing the name of the man who fathered him doesn't provide that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For that matter, being the biological father doesn't equate to being an &lt;em&gt;actual&lt;/em&gt; father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone who is involved in his life, whether a grandparent, aunt or uncle, cousin, or even just a good friend of the family, who can be a supportive and nurturing resource is worth far, far more than whoever may have contributed some DNA &lt;em&gt;if that person isn't involved in their life&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Realistically, if you don't have any expectation of rekindling a relationship (romantic or platonic), &lt;strong&gt;the biggest benefit to finding out who the father might be is for purposes of establishing a medical history of the family, so that doctors can help identify potential risk factors&lt;/strong&gt;.  Even that doesn't count as a benefit if you don't think you could have that dialog with the guy at some point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-05T12:13:16.010" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T12:13:16.010" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14726" CreationDate="2014-09-03T16:29:37.000" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like it may be an issue of not understanding the value of money. Does he understand that his toys, television, outings, etc. cost money? Maybe go through the steps of going to work to earn money, then paying bills, buying groceries, then the leftovers for savings/fun money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're working on the same thing with our daughter (5 years old). She always wants to go out for lunch on Sunday afternoons after church. It turned into a bit of a habit (totally our fault) and now we're trying to break that habit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-09-03T16:29:37.000" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14726" CreationDate="2014-09-03T16:30:21.347" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;The value of money is a pretty abstract concept, and difficult for young children (and many adults!) to grok.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your son gives money to friends and relatives, he's likely learning a different lesson about the value of money: when he gives it to people, they say nice things to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As was mentioned in a comment above, that's not necessarily a bad lesson, but it does make learning the real value and purpose of money a bit harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your intention behind letting him have these &quot;chance&quot; sources of money is to let him learn about how to spend money, then it's going to be hard when his sole source of income is that he's randomly given it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If money is just something that randomly &quot;happens&quot;, then teaching him the value of it may be an uphill battle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to consider giving him a small, but regular, allowance.  If he knows he will get money next Friday, then he also knows that if he runs out, he won't get any more until next Friday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make this effective, though, you'll also need to give him things to spend his money on, instead of just giving it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order for this to work you may have to change how you handle buying things for your son.  If your son is used to you buying candy or trinkets for him when out at the store, you'll have to start having him buy his own.  If he wants a new baseball glove, he'll have to save up for it.  If he wants to try and win a toy out of the crane-game at the store, he'll have to use his own money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-09T12:11:45.370" LastActivityDate="2014-09-09T12:11:45.370" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14618" CreationDate="2014-09-03T18:00:09.490" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went through this recently with my now 8mo. When she was about 6.5-7mo (see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14499/7-month-old-is-waking-up-frequently-to-be-picked-up&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; posted by my husband on this site), she fell into a sleep regression after being weaned off the pacifier. She was sleeping in a pack &amp;amp; play in our bedroom and when the regression showed its ugly face and we were forced to change &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; to help her sleep, we decided to also move her into her own room. To smooth this transition as well as implementing a new sleep schedule/routine, we temporarily (for about a week) slept in her room on a futon mattress on the floor. We did this to help reassure her that we were not abandoning her during this change. We implemented our changes to her sleep routine and our behavior in terms of how we responded to crying, when to feed her, when to pick her up and when to keep her in the crib, etc... and all the while not leaving her side. As far as the method we used, it was kindof a mix of different things mostly from two books, one by &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1593155581&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Sleep Lady&lt;/a&gt; and one by &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0062113321&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dr. Harvey Karp&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We limited our stay in her room to one week so as not to confuse her by letting her believe we were ALL moving to a new room. After the week, she was sleeping MUCH better and longer and we didn't want her to always rely on us being 5ft away for comfort so we packed up the futon, pillows, and blankets and moved back to our room. We continued monitoring her using a video monitor. We always respond to her crying; we do not let her cry it out. This helped with keeping her trust so she will know if she needs us, even though we are no longer 5ft away, we acknowledge her crying and are here for her whether it be by feeding her, picking her up and rocking her, or just a quick pop into the room for a little rub on the back and a goodnight kiss. She sleeps longer and better since making the changes we did and moving her to her room and I believe temporarily sleeping in her room during the process was very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-09-03T18:00:09.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14726" CreationDate="2014-09-03T18:05:09.140" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Doing a chore and getting an immediate reward like candy is an easy and natural association and can be learned quickly.  The further you seperate the reward in time the harder it is to associate.  If you give them money and a week later they can buy something with it, it isn't a natural concept, so can take longer to master. They are dependent on you to provide opportunities to spend the money.  You need to show them what to do with their money.  You could purchase a fun piggy bank that makes noises or moves as they put their money into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is to give them concrete opportunities to earn money:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pay them consistent fixed amounts for fixed chores, such as mowing the lawn.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Or pay them a fixed weekly amount on the same day, but make it contingent on doing chores.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get them a special place to store their money and teach them to use it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistency is important to teaching associations.  This will help give a strong connection from work, like chores, to making money.  If you're at the store and they ask for money, don't just say, &quot;Oh yeah, you did do your chores this week, so yeah here is the money&quot; because that in part associates money with asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provide concrete opportunities to spend money with lots of prompting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you go to the store remind them to get their money.  Remind them again at the checkout counter or if they ask for anything specific while at the store&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Considering selling treats to them directly, like individual oreos for a nickle, this helps give them more control so they don't have to wait until you take them to the store.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9709" LastActivityDate="2014-09-03T18:05:09.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14726" CreationDate="2014-09-03T20:09:27.783" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I tell my kids that cash is a very special thing that needs very special handling. They are not allowed to engage in cash transactions without prior approval - neither giving no receiving. They are explicitly allowed to buy items in shops and from food vendors, while everything else requires a review.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem I see is that kids, without realizing it, start betting money, get into debt, older kids take advantage of smaller ones and try to sell them things at inflated price (or simply cheating them out of their money) - possibilities are endless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving to charity is a good thing, but it needs discussion about why each particular act of giving is good - or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on what your priorities are, you need to encourage saving or spending - or both, provide enough opportunities for it, and make sure that all those transactions are supervised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9711" LastActivityDate="2014-09-03T20:09:27.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14734" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-04T01:55:01.240" Score="3" ViewCount="693" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-year-old son is misbehaving a lot. He doesn't care about punishments. He even would say so I don't care if I don't get this or that. Even if I whoop him, which I try not to at all, it does not faze him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I sit down and talk to him and ask him &quot;Why?&quot;, he laughs and say he doesn't know and that he tried not to do it. That he can't help it. Recently I asked him if it makes him sad that he makes me sad, he said no. One time I cried because I'm so stressed with the situation and he laughed. He's only six! He shows no sign of regret or anything of the sort for his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what else to do! I have tried everything except doctors. I'm scared he is going to be something really bad when he gets older. I have 4 kids and he's the only one that acts like this. I spend lots of time with them all, especially him. What am I doing wrong? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9718" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-12T15:48:28.903" LastActivityDate="2018-11-12T15:48:28.903" Title="What to do about my 6-year-old who misbehaves regularly and doesn't pay attention to punishments?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14718" CreationDate="2014-09-04T07:01:07.850" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say your daughter seems to behave like a normal child of her age (and of course this is comforting), however, this reaction to your laughing isn't entirely normal; then again, a lot of parents are not quite so sensitive to their child, so the fact that you're asking about this is really commendable, and may say something about your (very appropriate) sensitivity as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short term phobias are normal in little ones of ~8 months on, so that's not a major concern; on the other hand, these phobias usually last weeks, not months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering if your daughter might be a &quot;highly sensitive child&quot; or an &quot;anxious child&quot;. You might want to read about these conditions on reputable sites, and see if some of her unnoticed behaviors click with what you're reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have a two-year doctor visit coming up soon. Please bring this up on that visit, and make sure your doctor takes your concern seriously (they should, but some are more cavalier than others.) She can be screened for these conditions, and, &lt;em&gt;if present&lt;/em&gt;, early intervention helps both parents and children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now, since this reaction is so pronounced (her face goes bright red, mouth open, expression of &quot;horrified&quot;, starts crying - pretty pronounced reaction, indicative of a sympathetic nervous system response), although it seems like an overreaction, I would try to avoid laughing in her presence, especially when she's stressed*, cultivating a more &quot;quiet appreciation&quot; of humor in deference to your daughter's strong response to your laughter. Smile generously, especially at her (though I can hardly believe anyone can get by without soft chuckling). Respecting your daughter's anxiety in this situation is not the same as coddling her. Even (maybe especially) at this age, respecting and accepting her feelings is a positive, formative experience for her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many sensitive children often do cry when their parents laugh at things they do, but clearly this is not the only setting for her dismay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Stress may exacerbate a negative reaction that she may be able to handle better when well-rested, etc. But your laughter may be a stressful situation for her even when she's not tired, etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-04T07:01:07.850" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14734" CreationDate="2014-09-04T09:27:58.923" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, don't panic!  Children are notoriously fickle and given to bad moods and they develop empathy at different rates, so this is most likely a phase he's going through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I obviously don't know what will work for you but I went through a similar problem (with a slightly younger child) and I know what worked for me.   Nothing I did could reach my son, who was consistently disobedient and distant.  He was immune to any form of discipline and grew angry and confused when he didn't get his own way.  Everything became a battle of wills and even though I won those battles, I felt like I was losing my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In retrospect, the answer seems obvious but it's hard to have perspective when everything is going wrong.  Thinking it through, I realised that I was treating my young son as if he were a tiny adult.  I was over-estimating his maturity and ability to respond to reason, so what did that leave?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply, I treated him like the little child he was and smothered him in affection.  I let him set the tone of our talks and played his games.  I stopped trying to get him to be &quot;good&quot; and instead tried to understand what he was doing and (most importantly) why he was doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the course of a week or so, trust was re-established between us and things became easier.  He's always going to be stubborn and strong willed but now our relationship is based on love, which sounds twee but I can think of no better way to describe it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this works for you.  Try to maintain your perspective, don't panic and don't lose heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-09-04T09:27:58.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14711" CreationDate="2014-09-04T12:21:29.210" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although Pavel may be entirely right for your situation several other possibilities exist.&#xA;A. His answer from one extreme, the child has been abused at night &amp;amp; desires to feel safer at night.&#xA;(unlikely given some of the other context clues)  If it's the case, she'll need to know it's safe to tell you even if the abuser threatened her if she tattled.  But ask her if anything bad has happened anyway to rule it out.  If it's the case, she'll need to know it's safe to tell you even if the abuser threatened her if she tattled.  In the United States, child abuse is actually quite common &amp;amp; typically committed by someone known to &amp;amp; trusted by the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B. Your daughter simply wants to be close to you.  Perhaps discussions in the evening &amp;amp; towards bedtime that she will be safe at night and you look forward to seeing her again in the morning?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;C. Be aware that in some countries or cultures children sleeping in the same bedroom as the parents is quite normal.  Of course the fact you prefer not to is something she needs to learn to respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;D. Many other possible reasons for her behavior.  Try to find out why she's doing this, and you'll have a better idea how to proceed...?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some context: I must admit I'm more familiar with older children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, look for related answers&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7506/why-wont-my-toddler-sleep-when-her-mother-tries-to-put-her-in-bed?rq=1&quot;&gt;Why won&amp;#39;t my toddler sleep when her mother tries to put her in bed?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;and can you give us some more information, any recent changes, pattern to this, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9330" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-09-04T12:21:29.210" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7618" CreationDate="2014-09-04T15:59:21.093" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There has been plenty of play on this, but I will try to help. As a Catholic myself, we are always confronted with the question &quot;If someone accused you of being Catholic, would they have enough evidence to convict you?&quot; This goes back to all the stories you hear of people being persecuted simply based on their faith, often times ending up in being a martyr. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could be your chance to demonstrate your faith as a Deist. As others before me have said, it all needs to be conducted in as calm a manner as possible. Give them the story of faith with no works and works with no faith. This could be your opportunity to show a work of faith.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you all the best in your journey. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-09-04T15:59:21.093" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14726" CreationDate="2014-09-04T17:51:46.953" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends a lot on your culture, but rather than trying to raise the value of money in his mind and thereby encourage him to deny it to others, giving it special status, I'd suggest helping him understand what one-way monetary transactions mean in your culture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, in one culture, giving money without exchanging it for anything else may make the recipient feel as though they owe you something.  Money in some cultures is never &quot;given&quot; but either exchanged for something else, or loaned temporarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain how giving money to someone not expecting an exchange or a loan may negatively affect his relationship with that person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are cultures where there are specific times or events that gifting money might be acceptable.  Marriages, graduations, funerals, certain religious events or services may provide opportunities to gift money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A monetary gift may have more meaning to it than a simple open-ended gift.  Help him understand that giving money is rarely without strings, and if he wants to engage in gifting money he should at minimum understand what the other person's reasonable expectations or reaction might be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the most part as a child adults will simply humor him, and praise his generosity.  But in the long run he needs to learn what monetary transactions symbolize so that he doesn't grow up with ill-conceived expectations, or an undue attachment to money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest worry I'd have is coupling happiness and praise to being able to give money.  This may lead to the unconscious feeling that if poor one cannot expect happiness or praise, which isn't a practical association to have if one wants to succeed in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-09-04T17:51:46.953" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14742" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-04T22:51:15.353" Score="6" ViewCount="1425" Body="&lt;p&gt;I plan to get my child (&lt;strong&gt;7-8 YO&lt;/strong&gt;) introduced to Harry Potter books (specifically, the first one - &lt;em&gt;&quot;Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone&quot;&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is definitely within the language level that is comfortable for the child, and likely he will be able to read large parts of it himself, although I may read parts aloud as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I think that the books is intended for a slightly older age (protagonist is 11YO) and is in an environment that is somewhat alien (I'm talking about boarding school, not magic :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the main things that I should be aware of/prepared when the child reads the book or has it read to him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What topics/points/themes would it be helpful to discuss, either in advance of reading the book, or as we read?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T20:15:39.650" Title="What should I be aware of when introducing 7-8 year old to Harry Potter book?" Tags="|books|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14742" CreationDate="2014-09-04T23:24:51.487" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's actually a fantastic article about this the NYTimes, though for a 5 year old so some themes might not apply, but I'd encourage you to take a look:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/child-proofing-harry-potter/?_php=true&amp;amp;_type=blogs&amp;amp;_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/child-proofing-harry-potter/?_php=true&amp;amp;_type=blogs&amp;amp;_r=0&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Harry Potter deals with death, directly, and quite a bit.  I don't know if or how you've introduced the permanence of death to your child, but remember the point of the entire seven book series is that Harry and Voldemort are going to kill each other because Voldemort kills people.  I'd imagine there should be some sort of discussion around this depending on background.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of impact of prejudice in the book.  Over at fantasy.SE every once in a while some asks &quot;Why do the Dursleys do X to Harry?&quot; when the answer is generally just blind hatred.  And then of course there's the whole born of wizards versus non-wizards issue.  Fortunately, there's a pretty clear stance that prejudice is bad (a stance not quite taken with murder as above) but you might want to bring this up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As you get into latter books, hormones start coming up.  Just keep an eye out for that.  I think they weren't really a big deal until the fourth book (Goblet of Fire).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Harry Potter just happens to be, well, rich.  There's certain actions Harry can take with regard to finances that aren't necessarily the most responsible for other people.  Of course, outside the wizarding world he isn't particularly wealthy, so he tends to model good behaviors here, but depending on your stances on the value and purpose of money and generosity this might bare discussion as well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Harry Potter exists in nearly a binary good/evil universe that lacks many of the complexities of real life.  While not all the characters are immediately clear as good or evil, they all end up to be pretty much one way or another in the end.  If you aren't teaching absolute morality, or, even more likely, absolute morality of the exact same ilk as wizards, you might run into some problems here.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Every once in a while some decided to try and get the books banned for whatever reason.  Make sure you're aware of the reasons and issues affecting this ban.  I'm just going to throw Huffington Post at this and walk away since I'm nowhere near as informed or eloquent as professional journalists:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deji-olukotun/the-banning-of-harry-pott_b_1864502.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deji-olukotun/the-banning-of-harry-pott_b_1864502.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9556" LastActivityDate="2014-09-04T23:24:51.487" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3520" CreationDate="2014-09-05T00:48:08.503" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask your pediatrition. Those words are often used by teachers to tell you they suspect ADD. Teachers are not medical professionals so are not supposed to suggest your child might have a particular medical problem. So a teacher is not supposed to say, &quot;I think your child may have ADD.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9729" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T00:48:08.503" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14747" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-05T06:05:57.333" Score="1" ViewCount="2438" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter ate about everything we gave her, in different quantities depending on how she finds the taste. But suddenly, one fine nite, she woke up, vomited nothing but some cough, and next day on, she ate nothing at all, means nothing at all. All the solids, semi solid foods she ate with ease and taste, she spits out as soon as we keep in her mouth( whenever we can manage that) &#xA;We have tried so many tastes, dishes and recipes, she is not ready to eat anything, she spits out everything with her tongue out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All she has is Milk, throughout the day. She is basically hungry all  the time. &#xA;I dont know what to do. &#xA;Doctors say change the taste but she takes in nothing, tried everything.  Please suggest&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9731" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T08:37:44.440" Title="My 1 year old daughter suddenly stopped eating food" Tags="|food|eating|milk|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2014-09-05T06:14:45.557" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Read about parenting. All of the practical techniques are relatively easy to pick up, but techniques for raising a decent, well-adjusted human being are often unintuitive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some books I'd recommend are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;It's OK not to share&lt;/em&gt; by Heather Shumaker&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Teach your children well&lt;/em&gt; by Madeline Levine&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;How to talk so kids will listen and listen so that kids will talk&lt;/em&gt; by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;The happiest toddler on the block&lt;/em&gt; by Harvey Karp&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These books are actually aimed at parents of children from various different age groups, so they won't be appropriate for dealing with a baby. That said, a child is a baby for only a small fraction of its life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it hasn't already been said, you probably want to find your position on &quot;the cry it out method&quot; and other approaches to getting a baby to sleep through the night. Some sound brutally primitive and cruel, whereas others take 2 years of not sleeping well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T06:14:45.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14747" CreationDate="2014-09-05T08:37:44.440" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;She should be coming up on her 15 month visit in a few. See if she has fallen off her growth curve at that visit. You'll probably be surprised that she will not have done so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, lots of kids show variability in their eating. Keep offering her baby foods (try some fruits), cereals, or pureed table foods (introduce with care; she's still young). She won't starve. If you're breastfeeding and are worried she isn't getting enough milk, you can supplement with a bottle of formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she acts like she's in any distress, call your doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T08:37:44.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14723" CreationDate="2014-09-05T18:32:26.343" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me tell you a (true) story about my uncle. One day he ran into an ex of his at a place he went to all the time. They had both changed their lives a lot since the days they had been together. They caught up over coffee, and later she called him and asked him to visit or spend time with her in some non dating way (I forget the details, maybe can you give me a ride to X or would you like to come to this sporting event I have an extra ticket for). Just as friends. (I think they were both dating other people at the time.) After 4 or 5 times seeing each other like this she mentioned she was a single parent and her kid really needed father figures in his life. Then she invited him to the zoo with her and the child. He liked the kid a lot and they got on well so these sorts of visit continued for almost a year. Again, they were not dating, they were friends, and he was being a male figure in the kid's life just as a friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day she said to him &quot;Are you ever going to ask me?&quot; And he was like &quot;huh? what?&quot; and she went on to remind him the child's age. Nothing. Date of birth. Nothing. Reminded him when they broke up. &quot;Ohhhhh.&quot; It had apparently not occurred to him. A test was done, nobody was surprised at the result, and presto - I had a new cousin, who by this time was 8 or 9 years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some variation on this plan might allow you to evaluate what kind of person this possible father is, and whether he would even like to be in your lives. If he turns out to be a great guy, you won't be risking anything by letting him know your belief he may be the father. If he wants nothing to do with you, well then you know that he wants nothing to do with you, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T18:32:26.343" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2014-09-05T20:07:37.703" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk with your significant other about things that involve the child. Will she breastfeed or use formula? Cloth or disposable diapers? How much paternity and maternity leave will you both take? Will she go back to work at all? Will you find out the sex of the baby while she's pregnant? Those are things you can do &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; that will help work you towards the rest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working out those particulars will help you prepare for the rest. The &lt;em&gt;stuff&lt;/em&gt; is easy. Hopefully you're a little bit adaptive. Every child is different. Sure, there are generalizations that can be made but children develop at different rates and in different ways. You'll have to learn to roll with the punches as they come. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps. Good luck and future congrats!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T20:07:37.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14742" CreationDate="2014-09-05T20:15:39.650" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember that the books were meant to go along at a one year pace. Harry was 11 in the first book as a first year student. Each of the following books represents another year at school and another year older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try to follow that pace with your child if possible to help with the growing pains and learning curves. By the third book Harry is a teenager so there may be some concepts that your 7-8 year old may not be ready for&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-09-05T20:15:39.650" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14754" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-06T15:02:33.093" Score="2" ViewCount="52516" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 month old son screams (high pitch and loud) when:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;older sister takes away his toy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when he wants our attention&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when he doesn't get his way&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when we've taken away something that we don't want him to have&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when we put him in his crib and he wants out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when we're holding him and he wants us to put him down so he can crawl/walk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like that some times this is warranted, like when his sister takes away his toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I let him know that screaming is not the right thing to do in certain situations? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried to actually whisper to him when he starts his high pitched squealing so that he would stop so that he can hear me. However that doesn't always work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="1922" LastEditDate="2017-07-09T09:41:11.680" LastActivityDate="2017-07-09T09:41:11.680" Title="My 10 month old uses high pitched screaming to get what he wants...how do I change this behavior?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14754" CreationDate="2014-09-06T18:13:28.417" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's important to remember that there are two intelligent human beings in this transaction, each trying to train the other. He's trying to train you to jump into action when he screeches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to reinforce this behavior, reward it by giving him what he's screaming for. If you want to extinguish it, you'll have to ignore it and reward other, less annoying ways of getting your attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to give him alternatives, and that means a quick response when he uses some acceptable method in order to move him to that new method. Since he's so young, you can't actually give him instruction, you'll have to watch for something he does that would work for you. He has to have something that works to replace the screeching, and the screeching can't ever work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-09-06T18:13:28.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3520" CreationDate="2014-09-06T19:05:49.913" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pick a good book and read with her.  Alternate chapters, one a night. If she has a short attention span under those conditions, you'll see it and you can make further inquiries in that direction with your pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if she can pay attention for 30  minutes reading to you and being read to, she might just need to learn to focus her attention, and there's no better way to do that than extended reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-09-06T19:05:49.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14754" CreationDate="2014-09-06T19:18:45.657" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that there are two intelligent beings here tying to &lt;em&gt;influence&lt;/em&gt; the other. The problem is that one of them doesn't have the vocabulary yet to voice the transgression and frustration he feels. He is not being a manipulative little dictator at this stage; he's just expressing what he feels in a way that comes naturally to him. There is a double concern here: to respond to his needs in an appropriate way so that trust is maintained, and to teach him how to express his needs in a more socially acceptable manner. A real and important goal is to teach him to start managing his frustration. (I confess right now that I am not of the school advocating ignoring his screams; I think trust is too important.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In one of these examples, the need is to train his sister to stop taking his toys. (If someone walked up to you and calmly took your iPhone and started walking away, would you not feel like yelling?) He can't &quot;share&quot; at this age. You choose the method you do that; depending on her age, one thing that might work is substituting a good toy, but if he still objects, then no trade. To try to silence him in this situation is to tell him, in effect, that his feelings are invalid. (Remember the iPhone.) They aren't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At all times, you can try to teach him words. Say &quot;down&quot; every time you put him down, whether he's crying or not. Say &quot;up&quot; every time you pick him up, including out of his crib. Say &quot;not now&quot; (or, if never, &quot;no&quot;) if he screams for something he's not going to get (e.g. at nap time), &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; allow him to scream or offer him things to distract him. You can explain &quot;later&quot;, but follow through (his memory isn't long-lasting yet). When he is actually using words, then hold him to a higher level of accountability to use his words instead of screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm truly sorry if this sounds preachy. At this age, this is relatively normal. Help him to learn words and gestures, and respond to those with attention. Only when he can express himself otherwise should you take on training him not to scream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-09-06T19:26:02.333" LastActivityDate="2014-09-06T19:26:02.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14760" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-07T09:08:24.317" Score="2" ViewCount="963" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 35 year old stepdaughter thinks she doesn't have to be accountable for anything. She asks her father for money to solve her problems and they are like a secret society.&#xA;She asked him to mind her 12 year old (which means that I ultimately do), so she could go out for a couple of hours... which is fine, but she doesn't come home until the next day. No call, No nothing...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She feels that we have no right to call her out on that and I tried to talk to her but I get angry because she just shuts down and plays the victim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband gets upset and said he was going to talk to her but it's always just the two of them... Help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9740" LastEditorUserId="9654" LastEditDate="2014-09-08T13:02:49.380" LastActivityDate="2014-09-08T13:02:49.380" Title="Stepdaughter trouble" Tags="|step-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7618" CreationDate="2014-09-07T11:52:35.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a Christian myself, who considers knowing Christ essential to my life, this is a vexing question if I put myself in your parents' shoes.  Mature Christians give other people freedom of choice.  Faith which is forced or coerced is no faith at all.&#xA;&quot;Control, manipulation, removal of freedom, threats and withholding love are all tools of powerlessness.  Their goal is to introduce pain in order to teach someone a lesson.&quot;&#xA;--Danny Silk &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.facebook.com/121990546910/photos/a.126441966910.116720.121990546910/10152406710426911/?type=1&amp;amp;relevant_count=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.facebook.com/121990546910/photos/a.126441966910.116720.121990546910/10152406710426911/?type=1&amp;amp;relevant_count=1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Authentic Christianity is not about control at all, but empowering others to walk in grace &amp;amp; freedom.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If need be, remind them what Christ famously spoke to doubting Thomas.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+20%3A24-29&amp;amp;version=NIV&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+20%3A24-29&amp;amp;version=NIV&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Christ himself honored Thomas's doubt, did not doubt criticize or manipulate Thomas, but demonstrated the truth to Thomas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, consider the parable of the Prodigal son.  The son asked for his inheritance, which was extremely rude.  Not only did the father give him his inheritance.  Certainly this is the opposite of this the description of your parents.  He waited for his son to return, then rejoiced.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2015:11-32&amp;amp;version=NIV&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2015:11-32&amp;amp;version=NIV&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would you do me a favor, read or watch at least one of the following-&#xA;The new movie, fully funded through Kickstarter, available entitled &quot;Holy Ghost&quot;, premiering this weekend.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bethel.tv/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.bethel.tv/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;or the book, &quot;So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore&quot;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jakecolsen.com/JakeStory.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.jakecolsen.com/JakeStory.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the question of financial dependence- do you know for sure they would withdraw their financial support?&#xA;If it's true, &amp;amp; you do ultimately decide to leave your parent's religion, please keep in mind, it's entirely possible you're merely rejecting their misunderstanding or misuse of Christ's name instead of Christ himself.  So if they go that route, from what I can tell, their choice would certainly be far removed from what Christ actually taught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the sake of the camp, please don't pretend to be a committed Christian simply for money.  Do you desire to start your new Deist faith by living a lie?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this being said, 20 years old is a time when many start to support themselves.  As a college instructor, I usually recommend students live with their parents until the degree is finished because funding college is hard enough.  Sounds like their are some difficult choices in your future.  I wish you success whichever you choose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9330" LastActivityDate="2014-09-07T11:52:35.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14762" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14764" CreationDate="2014-09-07T14:44:53.270" Score="5" ViewCount="2064" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is in her early 20's. She has proven to be &quot;overly honest&quot; time and again. She has pretty much remained at an even level since around 10 years old, though, in terms of this issue. While this personality trait has been a joy in many regards and has allowed extremely high levels of trust and even a loving relationship that I think would not be possible otherwise, it has caused a lot of social pain within and without the family.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has just now become something that I feel like I must address as it is causing a lot of relationship issues that reach outside of our personal sphere of influence. She has expressed her desire to change if she could understand what to change and feels that no one has been able to explain to her, with enough precision, the problem so that she can actually pursue a change and still feels others should be the ones doing the changing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tendency to think that she's always right is compounded by the fact that she very nearly is always correct.  This then has caused her to approach things in a &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;slightly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; less than socially acceptable way, especially with those who are (perhaps overly) sensitive.  Usually she is cognizant enough to not be outright mean, but tone has been her particular downfall.  It is easily perceived by the recipient of her suggestions that she is harsh, angry, uncaring, insensitive, or otherwise harbors negative will in her (generally accurate) assessment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this amazingly insightful input well surpasses her years and personal experiences, it has gotten to the point where correctness and insight no longer matter since it is breaking down and poisoning relationships both within and without of the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wanted to get a little more foundation on my approach to the situation, so I suggested that she take a personality test.  I was little surprised when she came back with an INTJ personality (even though women of this personality type are especially rare, forming just 0.8% of the population).  Interestingly she was about at a 1 on the T aspect and so she could have nearly fallen into the F category there and thus is quite balanced between these two aspects in her personality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a very lengthy (elevated) dialogue recently with her wherein we reached quite the impasse.  The only thing that I could suggest for her was to try to build an allegorical comparison of how her communication is more like a person who is standing in front of someone and shouting at them to &quot;look over there at this thing!&quot; vs standing beside the person with her arm around them while saying, &quot;look over there at that thing.&quot;  I tried to explain that it is not about changing her message, but rather to simply change the way the message is conveyed and / or its frame of reference.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately she expects (more than several) other people in our family, and out of our family, to try to change to match her communicative needs vs attempting to understand how to modify her own output and, possibly, expectations.  I fear that this is about to cause an overwhelming emotional explosion or implosion for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our debate ended with my suggesting that she read &quot;How to Win Friends and Influence People&quot; by Dale Carnegie.  This was countered with a severe questioning of how a book can change the situation and cause others to change their minds and negative reactionary response to her input to them.  I could only really tell her that it will do so by helping her to understand other people's communicative wants / needs on a different level that will help her to change her approach.  This was not very palatable for her and she has little to no confidence that this can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What suggestions (&lt;em&gt;especially in the realm of self help&lt;/em&gt;) might you have regarding dealing with such a particular situation in terms of helping a loved one, like this, to understand their own personal need to change in order to effectively participate in familial and societal relationships?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am, obviously, particularly interested in actionable material that would help one to change their personal frame of reference and help them to understand how to properly frame their output for others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are there any other books or training material (video, audio, etc.) that you think could help that go above and beyond Dale Carnegie's book?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am desperate to help her to move through this and I know that if she can simply discover the solution herself by consuming proper information and insight (vs my trying to ram it down her throat), she'll be absolutely one of the most remarkable people with whom to associate for others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4380" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-10T12:12:14.053" LastActivityDate="2022-03-16T15:11:47.260" Title="How to teach tact and empathic understanding based communication to an INTJ (overly honest) child?" Tags="|relationships|teaching|adult-child|empathy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14762" CreationDate="2014-09-08T01:24:20.913" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Her problem was very much my problem when I was younger and it still comes out a bit today when I am not careful.  Carnegie's book was a fundamental assist for me - I studied it, memorized much of it, and lived it.  Coupling that knowledge with some anaylsis of humans helped me reach a much more balanced view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had become so bent on humans not wanting to accept the truth meerly because their emotional perception of my delivery clouded their judgement that for years I had a saying on my desktop background: The ability to see the truth does not imply the obligation to share it.  It was hard to see why their emotions should be allowed to play such a controlling force -- I never cared &lt;em&gt;who&lt;/em&gt; was right, only &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; was right and it is a fallacy to judge information based on the speaker or delivery instead of the content of the message.  If they could not get over that, of what import was it to me?  It was just as easy to watch them fail as they accepted their emotions before truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth, though, is that people such as ourselves &lt;em&gt;do care&lt;/em&gt; or else we would not try to help.  I believe it is this fact which you've hit on and want to help facilitate the delivery in a way which she will be comfortable with and those hearing will be comfortable with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the following tips/ideas/concepts are necessarily derived from Carnegie's book, but coupled with my own take on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Success is not as much a factor of &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; you do, but &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; you do it.  The challenge is not in getting the &quot;what&quot;, but in mastering the &quot;how&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Humans &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; emotional beings -- even those of us who disclaim such limitation.  Communication which ignores this fact is most often doomed to fail in its intended aim.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When telling someone something they do not know or believed an alternative to be correct, the delivery can change them from wanting to defend themselves to accepting the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Carnegie shares an important quote here, &quot;Men must be taught as if you taught them not. Things unknown proposed as things forgot.&quot;  Trite, yes. Powerful, absolutely.  What do we care if the person receiving the message thinks it is their own?  Our purpose is to help, not to gain glorification for being right (which would actually expose an error of ego).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The truth if unaccepted serves zero or one purpose: it is totally ignored or the one speaking it loses standing due to delivery.  It is better to say nothing than to say the right thing in the wrong way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even the best master of &quot;what&quot; and &quot;how&quot; will sometimes be cast aside due to the emotional attachments some have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We must never get attached to the information we share.  People will make up their own damn minds and may have to suffer the consequences accordingly... it is what it is.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The information, experience, wisdom, and advice we have gained were not random, but the result of much work, study, and analysis.  But the appeal to authority in the argument will almost never help.  If we turn our attention back to those from whom we have gained our knowledge and study how they delivered it... the words they chose, the venues &amp;amp; mediums, and their timing... then we can better grasp how we can be more effective at sharing that information.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the truth cannot be told so that it is heard, then it will not be believed. (A torque on a quote from Terence McKenna, ;) )&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you share with her this data, it will hopefully stimulate deeper thought.  For myself it was necessary to challenge the premise that the data should suffice; that the receptiveness of the recipient was irrelevant; that I needed to meld the two.  On further analysis it became apparent that speaking to &lt;code&gt;/dev/null&lt;/code&gt; would be more useful if I did not develop my skills in the realm of delivery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be patient, though.  Us types tend to take awhile to fully analyze, digest, and act upon the information we receive -- and that's part of why we become so confident when it is reiterated in various forms to help other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-09-08T01:24:20.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14760" CreationDate="2014-09-08T10:16:47.280" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given the intertwined natures and dependencies of the people involved in this, I doubt there is a definitive answer to this one.  There are a number of complicated relationships exposed here, so I'll try to be as objective as I can.  Please excuse me if I cause any offence with what I write, it's not my intent but it is necessary to understand the problem before it can be addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, are you the only one who has a problem with this arrangement?  It's possible her father may like being the guy that she calls on and may enjoy caring for this grandchild. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I ask is that if he's happy with it, then the problem lies between you and him.  You're uncomfortable with the demands being made on you and you both need a find a way to make things better.  If &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; is genuinely uncomfortable with things, then the issue is between him and his daughter, which is a much harder knot to unravel.  After all, few men would be willing to tell their daughter that they're not 100% willing to look after their grandchild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's unlikely to ever stop supporting her but he has a responsibility to you as well, so make him remember that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to have any success, you need to understand his perspective on this.  You're asking him to provide less care and attention to someone that he's looked after for the last 35 years.  That's not something you can easily change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Absentee parent&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before tackling the hard stuff, there is a quick and simple thing that can be done to mitigate the problem a little.  It's indisputable that a child may worry when their parent is missing.  As such, your daughter in law has a real responsibility to keep you informed of her plans and update you when they change.  That way, should her child ask, you don't have to say that you don't know where the mother is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a reasonable request and I don't think your daughter in law would be able to evade that responsibility without losing whatever moral high ground she thinks she has.  This neatly uses the parent-child dynamic on her, as she's using it on her father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now at least, you should be able to have a line of communication to her when she's out and can gently remind her of her responsibilities.  &quot;Your son/daughter needs to get up for school in the morning, don't be too late home.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Financial issues&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, I know nothing about your financial situation, so I'll just wade in ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids sometimes lean on their parents for money.  (I say this more in hope than in knowledge, as we've recently had to borrow money from my wife's parents.  All paid back now, in my defence)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I've said above, I don't think you could stop your husband from wanting to help his daughter.  There're just too many emotions tangled up in that relationship.  What you -can- do is to make your daughter-in-law aware of the consequences.  The money doesn't just appear out of thin air, it comes from a finite resource.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start tracking (or pretend to start tracking) your finances on a monthly basis and ask that your daughter help out.  If she thinks she's going to need money, could she please ask for it at the beginning of the month?  Say that it'd really help your financial tracking.  It's not likely to make her stop asking but again, the awareness that someone is actually paying attention is often deterrent enough.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If getting money is too easy, people will ask for it without thinking. This is, after all, how credit companies work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Finally&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't try and fix this overnight, or in one push.  You need to gently control this issue over a period of time.  If you try and force the issue, something is likely to break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as a last point, remember that the key to this is your grandchild.  Both your husband and his daughter will want what's best for the child, so if you need any leverage, it's there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That sounds more callous than I had intended.  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and I hope it works out for you all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-09-08T10:16:47.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14023" CreationDate="2014-09-08T14:23:11.603" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as food is cheap and plentiful then there is no reason IMO to force a child to finish a meal. It just turns into a battle of wills and there isn't even a good reason for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents used to force me to finish all the food on the plate before i could leave the table, I remember sitting there for hours and there are types of food that I do not eat to this day, such as fish, because it just put me off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's mother did the same to her and she has struggled with eating disorders because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my house the rules are you can stop eating when you are full and you don't have to eat anything you don't like, but only if you properly try it first. We also keep a fruit bowl on the table in case of hunger between meals so they can help themselves to an apple or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2014-09-08T14:23:11.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14767" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14770" CreationDate="2014-09-08T17:05:23.043" Score="11" ViewCount="359" Body="&lt;p&gt;My friend has twins and they are about to start at the kindergarden. However teachers suggest to put them into two different groups. I know it's a common practice in many countries, but does anyone know what's actually the best for twins in that situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that matters they are currently 2 years old, a boy and a girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9745" LastActivityDate="2014-09-09T08:22:22.780" Title="Is it better to separate twins in the kindergarden?" Tags="|toddler|twins|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14769" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14780" CreationDate="2014-09-08T19:48:51.243" Score="3" ViewCount="843" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there any overarching guides, strategies, or &quot;best practices&quot; in throwing birthday parties for teenagers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is something that I will have to do soon, and I have a few concerns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Their friends procuring alcohol somewhere and bringing it to the party, thus making their potentially irresponsible drinking my problem. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Same as the above, but with drugs? To be clear, I don't believe that my kids have this problem, but I can't be 100% certain about their friends.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not having my house wrecked (a la the stereotype parties depicted in teenager movies where there are a bunch of kids going crazy). How do I ensure that someone isn't showing up uninvited?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Generally speaking guaranteeing safety: some of these kids are old enough to get into trouble, occasionally there are stories in the newspapers about horrible things that happened to some teenager at a party. I want to make sure that none of that happens on my watch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone offer any advice or things to look out for? I have a decent amount of faith in my kids to self-manage things to an extent, but the above still has me worried. When I was their age, my parents adopted a very hands-off attitude, which just happened to work out fine, but I'm not sure that that is the best way to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7284" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T22:43:52.393" Title="Throwing parties for teenagers" Tags="|teen|party|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14767" CreationDate="2014-09-09T08:22:22.780" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have twins myself, but a few friends of mine do. I live in Germany and I'm French, just to give you a cultural context. My observation and my experience talking to parents of twins is that there is no &quot;good recipe&quot; when it come to keeping twins together or separating them. There are many different dynamics in twin brothers and sisters. What I have gathered is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the twins are really close to one another and somewhat dependant on each other, in a balanced way, you probably don't want to have them separated, because you don't want to break that balance and you want to give them as much comfort as possible. Being together for a while longer might be beneficial to their development. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If on the contrary, the balance is that one or the other is completely dependant on the other one, and that one &quot;rules&quot; the life of the other, separating them might be a good way to restore independance and make sure one of the twins does not dictate the life of the other. Breaking them apart can be a beneficial thing as it allows them to grow independantly, have their own set of friends and experiences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they form a block, ie. are very close to one another, but at the expense of other kids (they won't mingle with other kids because they have each other), you might want to separate them in order to socialize better, but then they might have a hard time on their own. This will depend on kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If both are very independant to start with, you can choose to separate them or to leave them together, it probably does not matter, they'll do well either way. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, your friend is the best judge of what her twins interact with each other and with other people, and I think she probably can go with her guts of what she thinks is best for them both. She should feel comfortable asking the kindergarten to keep them together or separate them, depending on what she has observed so far in the way they act between themselves and with other kids. If she's not sure, she can maybe tell the peole at the kindergarten to try one thing or the other and observe how that plays out, and maybe change groups along the way if she realizes that separating them was a mistake. We all make mistakes, the important thing is to observe and learn and be able to change course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1236" LastActivityDate="2014-09-09T08:22:22.780" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14771" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-09T17:56:05.430" Score="2" ViewCount="414" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last year I went to the cryogenic sperm bank and I got a few ampules of my sperm frozen. I did this for the reason that if I die anytime in the near future, and since I do not currently have offsprings/children/cubs, so if I die, my parents or girlfriend can use my frozen sperm to make my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I basically feel a little bit safer now because even if I die, I still have that small chance of still having kids in the future because my sperm is still alive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, it costs about $40 a month to store it. I can buy one year of storage for about $360 so it saves some money if I buy a whole year (or more years, it would cost even less).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering if I am throwing my money away, and is this even worth the money?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does frozen sperm go &quot;stale&quot; over time (like soda) and what does this mean for my case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice/recommendations appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering if I should just cancel the service, or pay for a year to get the discount.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9751" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-13T16:23:22.767" LastActivityDate="2024-01-22T14:35:33.517" Title="Is cryopreservation of sperm worth it for non-emergency “personal backup” purpose?" Tags="|health|money|father|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14772" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-09T18:48:26.973" Score="6" ViewCount="12699" Body="&lt;p&gt;I spent three days this weekend (took a day off work) potty training my 2.5 year old daughter. She has been showing signs of being ready for a while - telling me when she wets her diaper, talking about the potty etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used a more relaxed version of the Nathan Azrin method, basically practicing with a doll first, and then giving her an m&amp;amp;m for &quot;dry checks&quot; (she checks to see if she's dry), and 2 m&amp;amp;ms and a &quot;prize&quot; from a prize box everytime she went in the potty. I didn't train for naptime or bedtime, and used a pullup for sleeping for now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first two days went really well, and she only had one accident the second day. She even pooped in the potty the first day. The second day, she seemed to be doing well with the pee, but was holding her poo in, and eventually ended up pooping in the bath in the evening of the second day :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The third day, she was just unhappy and seemed to be regressing, not wanting to sit on the potty and holding her pee in. She didn't have any accidents the third day, but was holding her pee (she seems to have great bladder control!) and would go to pee only if i insisted she try sitting on the potty. She didn't poop at all the third day, and was way constipated by the evening. We gave her prune juice, which helped her poo in her diaper while in her bed the morning of the fourth day (which is today). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm trying not to be negative, or frustrated, but she just seems to be scared of the potty now, and I'm not sure what I did wrong, or what I can be doing to fix this problem. Help! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7815" LastActivityDate="2017-08-07T13:34:03.807" Title="Potty Training 2.5 year old - Regression?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14772" CreationDate="2014-09-09T20:51:56.417" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think every child is different and every home is different.  Having a method to follow as a guide is good, but ultimately you need to adjust the method based on your child and your own busy life style.  When I potty trained my daughter (who is now 3 and has been potty trained since ~2.5) I too read these &quot;methods&quot; online that promise you can train your kid in a few days of intense work.  Don't believe it.  Your child just spent their whole entire existence peeing and pooping in a diaper.  Changing behavior like that and forming new habits and new mental and emotional connections takes time.  I think many parents also claim that they trained their kids in a few days.  Also, do not believe them.  Their definition of a &quot;successful&quot; potty training may not be yours, and often those are parents with older kids who do not remember their kids timelines correctly.  The only parent I know that trained in three days is a woman who was training a 4 year old!  Most parents I know struggle with training their kids, and among my daughters classmates, several are still not fully trained at 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can only relate to you what I have done with my daughter.  Potty training at this age is one of the most important things you can teach your child.  They cannot move on to many new things developmentally and socially until they are trained.  It takes time for them to learn how to:&#xA;1) Be able to &quot;hold it in&quot; for periods of time instead of constant wetting&#xA;2) Be able to control releasing it&#xA;3) Release it into a potty and not a diaper&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though potty training is a very important developmental step, you still should not push too hard on the child, since that will create anxiety about going potty and will actually make the whole process more complicated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since my daughter was ~2yo and showed signs of being able to hold it in, we practiced going to the potty.  Every weekend and evening when I was home with her, we would work on this.  I would let her drink lots of juice and milk, and when about 1.5 hours to 2 hours passed without her going pee in her diaper or in the potty I would then get her to sit on the potty and we would wait for it to come.  I would read to her, watch TV with her, play a board game, or with a doll house.  Usually after ~20 mins should would go.  You know your child best; so if she cannot hold it in that long, or can hold it in longer, you can adjust (this is an art not a science).  After she was successful with it, I would explain to her in toddler terms why what she did was great and healthy.  Sometimes I would give her a treat, sometimes she would get a parade around the house.  Sometimes because of our busy life or because she was stressed by it, we would take a break for a few days.  In the end, this was fine and did not harm the process in my opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few weeks of this she was able to develop the ability to go on her own most of the time.  It was a slow process, with some regression, but mostly we always moved forward.  Going #2 was much more difficult.  She had many accidents and I was very exasperated, but her teacher at Nursery school told me that all kids have difficulty with potty training #2, and that I should take my time with her.  So for awhile I just tried different methods I invented on my own till I felt we were making progress again.  I did this: I watched my daughter very closely for signs of her having to go #2, and put her on the potty at the last possible moment. There were many accidents, but I did not get mad at her.  I would just explain to her that that was not what we were aiming for.  She eventually one day just seemed to connect all the dots in her head and stopped having accidents.  Over time, your child will prefer the potty for everything and will tell you that &quot;diapers are for babies.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider the behavioral change that must occur with potty training, the new brain connections that must be made as a new skill is learned.  It is a new thing to go to the bathroom while seated on a chair, because in order to release the bowels easily, a person must feel comfortable.  To put yourself in your child's shoes, imagine if you had to learn to go potty in a completely new stance (lying down for instance).  It would take months before it felt natural.  Think of these three days you just spent as a good big step in the right direction, but with all engrained human behaviors, this will take a lot more time to master.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7262" LastActivityDate="2014-09-09T20:51:56.417" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14774" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-09T21:01:12.670" Score="3" ViewCount="4050" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 9 years old. I would describe him as emotionally immature for his age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gets upset easier than other kids and tends to pout when he is especially upset about not getting his way. I do not cater to this or comfort him, but I do sometimes get mad. I realize that pouting will go away on its own if it gets ignored (something I'm working on). But what really gets to me is when he tries to create physical distance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an example - We're sitting at a parade and he and his sister get into an argument. I tell him to stop what he's doing and then out comes the lip and the smooshed up eyebrows. I could handle ignoring that if that's all that it was. But he has to take it further by moving his chair far away from everyone, despite me telling him to leave his chair where it is. He also accomplishes this distance gain by walking at snail pace and dragging his feet, and sometimes even crawling on the floor, again super slow. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I treat this all the same and ignore it altogether? What do I do when he's about to make me late, etc. because I have to wait for him to slowly crawl to the door, slowly put his shoes on, and finally stand up to leave? It drives me MAD!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9752" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-10T12:16:39.797" LastActivityDate="2019-07-10T12:16:39.797" Title="How to react to my 9-year-old excessively pouting and trying to get away?" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|tantrums|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14631" CreationDate="2014-09-09T21:08:23.713" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son had the same problem and my doctor said once you cave in and feed him, he's now learned that he can get fed at all hours of the night. She said he does NOT need food during the night, and that letting him self-soothe is the best option. It will work eventually. But you will likely say it &quot;doesn't work&quot; if you have a low personal tolerance for crying and only wait a short time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9752" LastActivityDate="2014-09-09T21:08:23.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14776" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-09T21:12:26.877" Score="6" ViewCount="416" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a one month old now and I'm just wondering how important it is that his routine is settled/repeatable at this stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the most part his routine is Eat-Poop-Sleep repeat, about 7 times a day as he sleeps slightly longer at night. During the day he'll sleep in a downstairs cot, and at night, in a moses basket in our room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However every now and again, mammy will have to run an errand, go to the shops, or attend a class during the day, and so his sleep/feed cycle might be slightly off as he's asleep in the car seat or in a travel cot on wheels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed on the days where he's been out and about, he's far more unsettled at night-time and seems to witch far more, and be less likely to settle between 8pm and midnight. &#xA;[DISCLAIMER] totally non-scientific observation, just seems to be the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how important is a settled/repeatable routine for a baby that young. Is it even perceptable to them at that age ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9540" LastActivityDate="2014-09-12T18:17:51.933" Title="How important is a settled/repeatable routine for a 1 month old" Tags="|sleep|newborn|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14776" CreationDate="2014-09-10T02:19:45.160" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are asking, &quot;Is a disrupted sleep schedule harmful to my 1 month old?&quot;, the answer is no. Sleep is important to newborns, and they will sleep when it's necessary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies in utero are attuned to a mother's circadian rhythms, due in part to maternal hormones (cortisol and melatonin both pass through the placenta), maternal activity and other factors.&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt; However, this circadian rhythym matching the mother's is broken at birth, leading to a light-independant sleep cycle (to the frustration of countless new parents). It takes months for the infant to develop a melatonin- and cortisol-based circadian rhythm. Babies do this at different rates, which is why there is no single expected pattern of sleep for infants.&lt;sup&gt;[2]&lt;/sup&gt;The lack of settling that you think you might be seeing may be due to some amount of extra fatigue or some amount of stimulation being processed in his early sleep (Infants spend more time in initial REM sleep than adults.)&lt;sup&gt;[2]&lt;/sup&gt; As long as the infant is getting enough sleep (which is important in brain development), he will be fine.&lt;sup&gt;[3]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is more important than exactly where and when he sleeps is that he feeds when he is hungry. In a large European cohort study, following newborns fed on demand vs. those fed on a schedule (at 4 weeks of age) through to the age of 14, and controlling for a wide range of confounders, it was found that schedule-fed babies performed around 17% of a standard deviation below demand-fed babies in standardized tests at all ages (5, 7, 11 and 14 years), and 4 points lower in IQ tests at age 8 years. Doesn't sound like much, but the conclusions was that feeding infants to a schedule is associated with higher levels of &lt;em&gt;maternal wellbeing&lt;/em&gt;, but with &lt;em&gt;poorer cognitive and academic outcomes for children.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[4]&lt;/sup&gt; (This is further supported &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-feeding-schedule.html&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, do what you need to (and want to) do. Babies will sleep adaptively (of course, you might not want to push this too far.) But consider feeding whenever the baby is hungry. If you're breastfeeding, this is very easy to do today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[1] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14505599&quot;&gt;Development of fetal and neonatal sleep and circadian rhythms&lt;/a&gt; Mirmiran M, Maas YG, Ariagno RL, Sleep Med Rev. 2003 Aug;7(4):321-34.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[2] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14505599&quot;&gt;Sleep in brain development&lt;/a&gt; Peirano P, Algarin, C R., Sleep Med Rev. 2003 Aug;7(4):321-34.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[3] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8670641&quot;&gt;The hippocampo-neocortical dialogue&lt;/a&gt; Buzsáki G., Cereb Cortex. 1996 Mar-Apr;6(2):81-92.&lt;/sub&gt; &#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[4] &lt;a href=&quot;http://eurpub.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2012/03/13/eurpub.cks012.full&quot;&gt;Infant feeding: the effects of scheduled vs. on-demand feeding on mothers’ wellbeing and children’s cognitive development&lt;/a&gt; Iacovou M, Sevilla A, Eur J Public Health (2012)&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-10T02:19:45.160" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14776" CreationDate="2014-09-10T05:54:31.920" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost: Children are the product of what they themselves bring to the table and what the environment does to them. The former is important, because essentially it says: &lt;strong&gt;Every single child is different.&lt;/strong&gt; What works with one child might fail with the next one. Keep this in mind and remember that you will have to find out for yourself. _For each of your children.: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, in my experience &lt;strong&gt;repeated routines make it much easier for parents&lt;/strong&gt;. Within a few months, the child will develop a certain rhythm that you can (somewhat) depend on. It is a very good thing when you &quot;know&quot; that your child will fall asleep about an hour after breakfast and sleep about until 11:30am. This gives a world back some of the sanity you took for granted before you became a parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, &lt;strong&gt;repeated routines make your child&lt;/strong&gt; (and yourselves) &lt;strong&gt;inflexible&lt;/strong&gt;. That is, it will be hard to go visiting someone (or even just have someone visiting), because the child will be overexcited by the changed routine/environment, spoiling the visit. If you find yourself trying to function like a clockwork, you might raise a child that only &quot;functions&quot; in a clockwork-like environment. Most parents, however, &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; their children to be able to stay over at the grandparents', to be able to stay up a bit longer when they're at their best friend's birthday part, to sleep half an hour longer the next morning, to move their cycle to a later schedule during a vacation, and move it back afterwards. A child that has been put to bed at 7pm for 27 months in a row will usually react badly to any such events. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What the balance is depends on your child and on its parents. How much can this child take? How much energy do you as a parent have to deal with a tired child? Are you someone who, when you collapse beside your child at 10:30, regrets the whole idea of going to that birthday party or will you inwardly smile and consider the nice evening well worth the trouble? The more you can do the latter, the easier it will be for the child. (&quot;A child won't feel well if its parents don't.&quot;) So here's my rule of thumb: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do as much routine as you find necessary for the child's and your own wellbeing. Do as little routine as the child and you can deal with.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If in doubt, err to the side of less routine. Your child can deal with it (our ancestors didn't roam the African Savannah with a clock in their hands and had different excitements every day), and you will likely appreciate the resulting higher flexibility later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-09-12T18:17:51.933" LastActivityDate="2014-09-12T18:17:51.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14772" CreationDate="2014-09-10T06:35:19.323" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First: In times of frustration about your child, always remember the &lt;em&gt;parental mantra&lt;/em&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;It's just a phase. It will pass.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;(And be replaced by the next &quot;phase&quot;...)&lt;/em&gt; &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't despair, don't become impatient. You still have more than 80% of the time necessary for raising this child ahead of you. In a few years you will look back at the current phase and smile in the knowledge of the much bigger issues that are now still ahead of you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always find that a very helpful thing to remember. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you say, the most important thing to me seems to be &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;she just seems to be scared of the potty now&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This, as you thought for yourself, hinders progress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what I did wrong, or what I can be doing to fix this problem&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you did anything wrong. The two of you tried, and it worked well initially. Then the child realized that this is hard work, and that it is now required to do this all the time, and so she withdrew. That is a very common pattern that I have seen a lot – with my own children and with friends' children. (A friend's son, after an incredibly well-going first week of kindergarten, plainly stated that this was all fun and nice for a week, but could they please go back to routine now.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this is all empirics and statistics. It could also have been that what you did would have work out just fine and your child would be through with potty-training after two or three days. You never know. You will have to try and find out. And you will experience setbacks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the most important thing in my opinion would be to take away whatever pressure the child (or you – &quot;I even took a day off!&quot;) might feel, and turn the potty back into something exciting that she &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to do. Remember: &lt;em&gt;All children desperately want to grow up&lt;/em&gt;. They &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to do things the way adults do. Material incentives (like your M&amp;amp;Ms) often work embarrassingly well with children, but, actually, underneath all this, is a much stronger and wholly immaterial incentive to grow up and be as cool as your own parents. The easiest way to raise a child is to find ways to tap into this urge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has your daughter noticed you're not using diapers? Nor anyone else older than she is? Have you talked about this? How important a part this is in growing up? Have you explained to her that being able to get along without a diaper is an important step for being (even more) welcome at her grandparent's and friends' houses? How your mother told you how you had to learn this, too? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a practical hint: Many parents I know have found that getting rid of diapers worked best during a summer vacation, when there was no pressure &quot;to get it over with&quot; and when the child ran around naked and actually &lt;em&gt;experienced&lt;/em&gt; what happens in the plumbing down there. And for some, it took two such summers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also: One of my sons &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; used a potty. He just refused, pointing out that all the other members of the family were using the toilet. So he used the toilet seat addition we had for his older siblings, rather than a potty. Of course, initially this was much harder for him (and, thus, for us as well), but in the end it all worked out well and of course simplified things for us, too. (He was also the one who never ate baby pap. He either wanted what we ate, or his mother's breast. That, too, worked out surprisingly well.) On the other end of the spectrum, one of my children would occasionally wet the bed at the age of seven. And there's nothing I could do about it except for being patient and fiercely loving the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put it into one paragraph: Don't despair. Be patient. Keep trying to find a way. Relieve the pressure, from your child and from you. Instead employ your child's urge to grow up. Be patient. Remember how you love her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And did I mention you need to be patient? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-09-26T14:43:43.133" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T14:43:43.133" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14769" CreationDate="2014-09-10T06:55:18.500" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you talked to your child about these fears you have? Why don't you as a family sit down and try to find out what each one's expectations for this party are? Wouldn't your child understand that her/his first party as a teenager is as new to you as it is to her/him? What does she/he want? What do you want? (Don't forget to mention: You do want your child to have a great party!) Then sit together and make a plan for how to achieve that. Come up with rules that are supported by all of you. Something like &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no alcohol, no drugs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a maximum number of kids invited, no uninvited guests.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no parental interruption except for a brief look every two hours. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;whatever else child and parents find important&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure this list isn't all about what you want to prevent, but also what the child wants! Make sure your child feels OK about enforcing these rules. For example, allow to put all the blame for &quot;uncool&quot; rules on you. Or give the child the means to invoke you to clear up a situation she/he feels unfit to handle without her/his friends knowing it's their friend's fault you happened to drop in right at the worst possible moment and spoiled the &quot;fun&quot; they were about to have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good way to prevent bad things to happen is to provide good things for the kids to do (be that movies, games or them making their own pizza). Keep them busy doing things which they enjoy and remember well when they look back at the party – but make sure you're not overriding your child's wishes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also remember: When your child is 15, it's just a few more years until she/he will leave the house and throw her/his own parties. In that light, I'd rather see my children do some &quot;experimenting&quot; &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; they leave, rather than afterwards. (That doesn't mean I encourage them to use drugs. But from a certain age I offer a glass of wine for the Sunday meal, or a beer for a BBQ. And I did get serious about contraception when my oldest had her first boyfriend.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-09-10T17:37:13.277" LastActivityDate="2014-09-10T17:37:13.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14782" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14790" CreationDate="2014-09-10T14:58:00.087" Score="14" ViewCount="1950" Body="&lt;p&gt;Me and my wife have a two year old son and he is amazing and I love him wholeheartedly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately the relationship between my wife and I has frayed to the point where I no longer see a good outcome. Some of the issues are old, before him, and have been brought back up because of added responsibility and my unforgiving work schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot imagine not seeing or hugging my son regularly, when I am away for work he always asks about me and misses me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I am worried about the effects his mom and I splitting will have on him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I am worried that if we do stay together in a fairly functional but basically loveless marriage, it will teach him the wrong lessons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a benefit to him to stay or go? Are there any resources for parents who would not be getting full custody on dealing with that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9754" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-09-11T05:50:26.343" LastActivityDate="2020-04-09T20:11:33.067" Title="Effects on children and parents of marriage breaking up" Tags="|parents|divorce|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14771" CreationDate="2014-09-10T16:08:48.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I would cancel it, but I am super cheap :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with @anongoodnurse here, put that money into life insurance instead (or invest it for retirement).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question of sperm &quot;going stale&quot; seems like it is more appropriate to ask the sperm bank, that is sort of their thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I would not keep my sperm around so my wife could have a child after I die; however, having this sperm &quot;backup&quot; may be helpful if you have an accident that causes trauma to your body that does not kill you but would otherwise prevent you from having children.  Having this in storage might prove very valuable to you in a situation like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess there may be some medical condition or disease that would also make your plan make sense.  Though I would think with most medical conditions of this sort you would have a little bit of warning and could go store some before it is too late. Specifically I am thinking if you get testicular cancer and the treatment would prevent you from having kids in the future, you usually have time to store sperm before treatment so there is no need to store ahead of even the diagnosis like you are doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1336" LastEditorUserId="1336" LastEditDate="2014-09-11T16:11:48.820" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T16:11:48.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14774" CreationDate="2014-09-10T16:39:15.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something my wife and I are working on with our 5 year old daughter. She is EXTREMELY emotional about.. well everything. You and I have something in common though, I get mad. I know this isn't the way to react to things, and my wife tells me frequently to chill out (eventually I'll get it through my head that she's right). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's how we approach things with her. Instead of reacting to her reactions, we set her aside and put things in perspective for her. When we go through toys that she doesn't play with and we want to get rid of but she doesn't, we say &quot;There are other children who don't have as many toys as you do.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she flies of the hinges about something, its time in her room to cry it out. Then we sit down with her and evaluate what happened. We try to show her how her behavior is inappropriate. The key thing here is to show her what the appropriate behavior is. Trying to get her to think about things first instead of reacting. So maybe the next time you and your son are in the car after he &quot;slow plays&quot; you try and talk to him about the effects his behavior has on you. Put it into perspective for him. &quot;What would happen if I moved super slow while we were on the way to (insert his favorite activity here)? How would that make you feel?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is no easy task for me. I know where she gets it from :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-09-10T16:39:15.517" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14786" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-10T17:47:35.680" Score="2" ViewCount="363" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5-year-old has started hoarding food in her mouth, and won't chew, until her mouth is just full of food. Most of the time it seems like it's because she's distracted with something or doesn't especially feel like eating something (right now, the only things she really likes are her M&amp;amp;M's and mac and cheese). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone else faced this? What did you do to get around it? I'm assuming it's just a phase - should I just wait it out? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7815" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-04-18T23:42:48.077" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:42:48.077" Title="Hoarding food in mouth" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14782" CreationDate="2014-09-10T18:21:08.360" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm so sorry about your marriage. I can tell you, from experience of having my parents be in a loveless and very very volatile marriage, in which they stayed for my and my sibling's sake, that it is better if you separate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will be happier with separated parents who are happier themselves, and are cordial and civil to one another, than with married parents who are bitter and angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up in a conservative culture, and divorce wasn't really an option for them, but they fought all the time, and it really traumatized me, and affects my relationships to this day.I'm in a happy marriage and love my husband dearly, but everytime he gets upset with me, I overreact because I am so insecure and have a deep rooted distrust for the institution of marriage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7815" LastActivityDate="2014-09-10T18:21:08.360" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14789" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14801" CreationDate="2014-09-10T19:59:14.857" Score="2" ViewCount="1231" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 yr old son just started Kindergarten last month. His class uses the Red, Yellow, Green color methods to record his behavior for the day and he has had 90% Red - which is bad. He is being very disrespectful to his teacher, not making eye contact when she speaks to him (when he is in trouble), hiding his face or turning his face away from her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also has lied to her a few times when in trouble. He denies doing things like kicking a little girl and taking a toy from a boy -- the teacher saw him do these things but he lies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then today he pushed a little boy down on the playground and got sent to the principals office and written up. They told me if he does this again he will get suspended. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have already started a incentive/reward system for good behavior at home and when he acts bad at school he loses privileges such as time on his tablet, TV time, Computer time, ect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both at school and at home I don't think the incentives/rewards are working. I also don't think he cares about the consequences. I don't know what to do next. I've taken  every singel toy away from him before and it didn't phase him. I have yelled, I have talked calmly, I have spanked I have timed him out.  He is a very smart boy and a very sweet boy. He just occasionally gets very stubborn and defiant and there is no changing his mind. I hope I get a response quickly as I don't know how I should even act picking him up today - I've never dealt with this and don't know how to make sure he understands that pushing someone today and the possibility of getting suspended is BAD!!  I just don't know how to scare him or make him understand this is a big deal. HELP!!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9757" LastEditorUserId="9757" LastEditDate="2014-09-10T20:44:10.633" LastActivityDate="2014-09-12T05:54:36.933" Title="Need suggestions on how to deal with my 5 yr olds defiance and aggressiveness" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14782" CreationDate="2014-09-10T22:16:04.317" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am divorced with several kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Twice.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My €0.02 (or should I be allowed to add €0.04?) essentially boil down to this: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's hard work. It's hard for you. It's hard for the children. But.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO, the most important issues to consider are these: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried marriage counsel? Sometimes this works out.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(I won't be saying anything else about salvaging your relationship. Still, it might be worth a try.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You have a child together and &lt;strong&gt;you will be your child's parents for the rest of your lives&lt;/strong&gt;. No matter what happens to the two of you, there is no going back to wholly separated lives. Never ever. If you both manage to remember this, then it might not be all that bad for the child. Breaking up will very likely still hurt, and you might fight. Then remember that the both of you are one set of parents and will be forever. Be forgiving to each other. Help each other. Try to be friends, even if it's hard. Because your child needs cooperative parents, even if they aren't lovers anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A child has a mother and a father, and &lt;strong&gt;a child is better off with both a mother &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; a father&lt;/strong&gt;. That's actually a very simple fact. No matter if you dislike or even hate each other, whether we're talking about next year or in 15 years, your child needs both of you to be self-assured. (&quot;Where do I come from? Do my parents even care about me? Am I loved?&quot;) And it needs to learn from both, because both of you (voluntarily or involuntarily) teach different things. You need to work out a schedule where your child &lt;em&gt;regularly&lt;/em&gt; spends time with both of you. When the child is a little bit older, slowly start to consider its own wishes regarding the schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Never speak badly about the other parent&lt;/strong&gt; in front of a child. Never. Ever. Even if the other parent sues you, tries to take the child away, ruins you financially, or kills someone in cold blood: It's still the other parent of your child, and thus one of the two most important people in the world for your child. For children, parents are gods. If you take this believe from your child too early, you damage it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is things where a child of separated parents will have an advantage over its peers: A child might be allowed to do something when staying with one parent, while the other forbids it. For something else, it will be the opposite. One household might be vegetarian, or religious, while the other isn't, one parent might emphasize nature, the other worships technology... In essence, your child will not only live in two households, but in two families, with different values, ethics, and morale concepts. Don't worry about the mental gymnastics required to do this: This happens all the time when kids visit their grandparents and they can easily deal with it. However, the result of a more diverse upbringing is that a child might be more flexible, more understanding, can more easily adapt, isn't as limited in its believes how a family &quot;works&quot;. That can be very handy later in life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, here's wishing you the best, whatever that might be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T12:25:10.663" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T12:25:10.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14786" CreationDate="2014-09-11T03:29:08.740" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 and half daughter did, and sometimes still does, the same thing. I just ask/tell her to &quot;chew chew chew&quot;.  Thank goodness she hasn't hurt herself.  I just keep an eye out is all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9736" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T03:29:08.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14792" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-09-11T05:59:27.103" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Divorce is a multifaceted event impacting children in many ways.  This tag is for questions related to these impacts such as how to tell the children, how it will affect their lives, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-09-11T13:44:05.777" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T13:44:05.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14793" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-09-11T05:59:27.103" Score="0" Body="Questions related to impact of divorcing parents on their child(ren)." OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-09-11T13:43:57.577" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T13:43:57.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14782" CreationDate="2014-09-11T06:18:11.990" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As alluded to in the answers and comments here, there are many takes on the answer to this question.  The answer as to why is direct: each child is different and so the impact on each child will vary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I dare say that no matter how &quot;strong&quot; your child is, should you divorce, you &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; be asked why you don't get back with mommy.  When I was asked, I heard the question as, &quot;This hurts, daddy.  Help make it go away.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I heard a statistic a long time ago that every person annoys you in something like 7 ways and that when you change partners, you simply change the 7 ways, so you need to decide if you really just will not deal with what is annoying you now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the answer is, &quot;Yes, I will not deal with this.&quot; And with children, we come to your question, &quot;But I will suffer it if it will be best for my child, so what do I do now?&quot; -- we'll do &lt;strong&gt;anything&lt;/strong&gt; for our children!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not see the question as one to be answered by studies or anecdotes, but rather your personal ethos.  &lt;strong&gt;The path you choose is an example you choose to teach your child(ren)&lt;/strong&gt;, and in the matter of divorce it is an example set for a lifetime.  Now as parents, we know that there does not exist a path without challenge and that it is not whether or not we experience a challenge which matters, but how we choose to address it. (e.g. Staying or leaving are both paths with their unique challenges, neither easy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that philosophical analysis as context, one may rephrase the question and I will be so bold as to state it through my eyes which may not correlate with your own (but will hopefully allow you to come to your own restatement):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do I raise my child to learn how to get through life or to pursue happiness even when the choices seem formidable along the way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again that is my restatement of the question in the context of the above which exposes &lt;em&gt;my own ethos&lt;/em&gt;, but to reiterate, the answer to your question is one only you may provide -- I hope my commentary helps you to find in yourself your path forward while being true to yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-09-11T06:29:04.813" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T06:29:04.813" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14771" CreationDate="2014-09-11T06:34:53.183" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will start with a question. What do we have money for? What is the purpose of money?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I see it, spending money to feel safer is as good goal as any other. So by saying &quot;I basically feel a little bit safer now&quot; you actually answered your own question: yes, it's worth the money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;$40 a month doesn't sound like deal breaker, and unless you are really short in money, I think that spending it on such thing is a good reason, kind of mental insurance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the good thing is, that when you will have your own children you can cancel the subscription. So assuming you plan to have kids in 5 years, buy 5 years storage in advance. If possible, refresh the stored sperm once a year or so, just to be safe. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T06:34:53.183" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14789" CreationDate="2014-09-11T13:08:50.090" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was in a very similar situation &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5924/644&quot;&gt;two years ago&lt;/a&gt;.  In addition to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14685/644&quot;&gt;my follow up answer&lt;/a&gt;, I would like to add that the main thing we discovered is there was almost nothing we could do at home about his behavior at school.  We offered everything from spectacular rewards down to harsh punishments for a year, to little avail.  He stopped taking his frustration out on other children, but became more miserable himself.  Ultimately, something has to change about his learning environment.  In our case, we started homeschooling, but you may be able to figure out how to change his environment at the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The weakness of the stoplight behavior system is they report &quot;what,&quot; but not &quot;why.&quot;  Try to find out the reasons behind his behavior, via a visit to observe his classroom if you must.  Sometimes reasons are obvious to parents when they're not obvious to the teacher.  Some things we discovered about how my son learns, and how we adapted for him:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has trouble with spoken directions, and often needs them repeated several times in order to understand them.  Now that he can read, we provide written directions or interactive, like computer or video.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has a greater need for intrinsic motivation than other kids.  He absolutely hated reading until we started letting him read books of his own choosing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He needs to wiggle.  A lot.  Sometimes we have to look away in order to not get annoyed, but it helps him think.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He needs instant feedback on difficult topics.  Getting homework graded and handed back a week later is too slow for him.  He has done a lot better on math since we started him doing it on the computer, where he gets a right or wrong mark immediately after an answer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son will have his own unique set of educational needs.  I wish you the best of luck in finding them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T13:08:50.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14797" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14798" CreationDate="2014-09-11T14:22:14.890" Score="5" ViewCount="4112" Body="&lt;p&gt;My father is a very demanding person, to the point of being unreasonable a lot of the time IMO. But lately it has been getting worse and I feel like i just don't have the energy to deal with it because it all seems so petty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am married with two children, a 4 year old and a 3 month old We live about 2 hours away from him. Most of the disagreements we have are about him being able to see our children, basically he can see them whenever he wants but he demands that we take them down there to see him, which is difficult because of the distance. He is divorced from my mother, who sees the children more often because she lives closer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some specific examples of his behavior I have a problem with are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;when our youngest son was born he had a serious heart condition that needed several risky operations. We choose to stay in hospital with him in case anything went wrong, so we could say good bye. During this time my eldest son was being looked after by my mother because it was the easiest and most convenient option at the time. My father took this as some sort of personal insult that we didn't let him look after our eldest son and actually phoned me to discuss it with me which I thought was very selfish and inconsiderate of him considering what we were going through at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;when we came out of hospital my father wanted my eldest son to go and spend a couple of days with him. We didn't think it was a good idea because he had already been away from us for two weeks and we didn't want him to be insecure or feel pushed out by the new baby. It might have felt like we were sending him away. So we told my father that he would be able to visit only after a couple of months had passed when he was on summer holiday from school. In response to this my father wrote me a letter accusing me of wanting to punish him by stopping him from seeing his grandson. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He asks us to go down there at short notice, this causes two problems. The drive down there causes my significant neck and back pain and usually triggers a migraine which will stay with me all weekend. I have a very stressful job and I need to relax to be in any fit state to go to work the following week, taking a 4 year old and a newborn away for the weekend i find very stressful and does not allow me the time I need to decompress. So when i refuse to go he asks me why I don't want to go and see him, I do not know how to respond to that because it isn't that I don't want to see him just that we have other things that have to be the priority.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He instant messages me at work and if i don't respond almost immediately he will ask me why I am obviously ignoring him. I answer him when I can, but my main responsibility is to do my work and I cannot always answer him right away.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I being unreasonable? If not, how can I get him to see that his behavior is inappropriate and to back off?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-16T14:50:43.533" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T11:26:30.973" Title="How do I get my father to stop making everything about him" Tags="|parents|grandparents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14797" CreationDate="2014-09-11T16:43:10.917" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, you are not unreasonable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your father is overstepping his bounds. He may be lonely, he may be a control freak. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) &amp;amp; 2). Did you explain your reasoning to him? But don't mention this again. It is in the past. If your dad brings it up, simply say that it was NOT an insult, and what was best for your son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Make a schedule. Tell him how often you will go down and stick to it. Tell him when he can come up. Say you love to see him, but your life is busy with little children. Figure out how often you are comfortable making the drive, and tell him that is the way it is. Also, TELL him about your back pain, the migraines, the stressful job. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) I have noticed that many older generations don't understand email, IMs and texts - thinking it is more like a phone. You have to 'train' him. Never answer right away on emails, text and IMs. Tell him it is not a synchronous medium, and that you don't answer anyone right away. If he doesn't get it, you may have to set your IM to be 'away', or block him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) Consider video chatting with the kids and grandfather. My parents &amp;amp; in-laws are on a different continent, and they love to chat on video. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;basically, like with kids, sometimes parents needs boundaries. Since parents are adults, you should be able to spell it out. Sometimes you have to very direct: It hurts me when you think I don't want to see you. I really do, but the drive is too far to doo too often. Please don't pressure me to come down more often than we agreed on, it makes me upset that you think we keep your grandchildren from you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-09-11T16:43:10.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14782" CreationDate="2014-09-11T18:33:17.520" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I separated from the mother from my child, he was 1 year and 10 months old. I was also thinking of staying together &quot;for the sake of the kid&quot;, and she too, so nobody had courage to break up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had this on my head for a long time, and this single moment decided everything in my head:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was absorved in my thoughts about how unhappy I was, and that I should stay on it because of the kid... While I was having those thoughts, my son was in front of me playing on his sand box and offering me in a very lovely way his toys, so that I could play with him together... He was offering it to me, but my mind was not there... I think I didnt even see that my kid existed, because I was so deep on those unhappy thoughts. At this exact moment, I got aware of my son, and I thought: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Oh my god! He has been trying to play with me since a long time, and I cant play with him because I am always stuck on those thoughts. He will grow up thinking its completely normal to be unhappy in life, and in 30 years from now on, when he is stuck with a woman and completely unhappy, I will ask him:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;-If you are so unhappy, why are you still with her?!?!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I knew that his answer would be:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;-Because I learned it from YOU&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this moment, I got a shock and saw that this would be the most terrible thing to teach him in life: that unhappines is just OK. It is NOT OK to be unhappy, and I decided I would never teach him that. For me, happyness is the most important thing in life!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also thought its better to happen now, than to wait some years.. It would be a waste of life, and it would be much harder for him, because he would already be fixed on the current family routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I just separated from the mother, I live just 300 meters far away from my kid I see him a lot now: Every Wed, Thru, and every two weeks also Friday, Sat and Sun. I have ALL THE ENERGY OF THE WORLD for him now (before I had almost nothing). I have never loved my son so much before! Now I can enjoy him and be myself, without being bossed around by the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you need some book on the topic, I enjoyed the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The guide for separated parents, from Karen &amp;amp; Nick Woodall. This book has a very beautiful atmosphere, and if in the future you are feeling very bad about your decision, you can refer to this book to get strength.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Two homes, from Claire Masurel. This book will be for your kid: its a very beautiful book with drawing for kids, with a story of a kid who has a home with his father and mother, and showing the nice ways that their parents love him, wherever they are&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The family book from Todd Parr. Its an illustration book like the above. You dont really need it, but its fun, talking about many ways a family can live.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you just look the book from Claire on Amazon, you will probably find reccomendations about other books that you will like too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just some stuff that I didnt take into consideration at the time, and that maybe you should are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;End the relationshp in peace: Go to couples therapy, and certify that the feelings around you are healed and that they will not come back to &lt;strong&gt;haunt you&lt;/strong&gt; in the future, because you will never be able to stop seeing your ex completely.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be aware that after you brake up, maybe your spouse will find another guy who will spend time with your son too. Maybe you will get jealous/lack of trust about the guy, and maybe you cannot control too much what is going on... This will make you quite anxious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider if the mother will be likely to move out of the city (and how far) after you break up... then it will make visitation a difficult topic, and this might cause you great psychological strain on you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is your job flexible enough that will allow you to see your kid? Can you find a flexible job to help you?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to people who experienced that first hand. Dont read too much. Talking to people feels more real and certain than reading books or asking on internet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope I helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-07-22T19:22:15.007" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T19:22:15.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14789" CreationDate="2014-09-12T05:54:36.933" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please look into buying a book called 123 Magic. I can't praise this book highly enough. One of the things it allows for is to provide consequences &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; engaging in any arguments with the child - basically allowing you to disengage in useless debate/discussions about bad behavior. Please see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14533&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt; for more details on the method and it's advantages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children go through defiant stages. This, though, is a bit more than a stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is exhibiting &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; of the more concerning signs of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20024559&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Oppositional Defiant Disorder&lt;/a&gt;. Some of the behaviors seen in ODD are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;temper tantrums, &lt;strong&gt;argumentative with adults&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;refusal to comply with adult requests or rules&lt;/strong&gt;, annoying other people deliberately, blaming others for mistakes, difficulty maintaining friendships, and academic problems among others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These problems are persistent, must have lasted at least six months, and are clearly disruptive to the family and home or school environment. The problems can manifested as early as three years of age, but almost always before the age of 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most cases of ODD go undiagnosed. It is estimated that up to 15% (high, in my opinion) of boys have ODD. It is more common in boys than in girls. Regardless of what you read, it's not caused by parental neglect (Psychiatry and Psychology have a long tradition of blaming the parents - usually the mother - for problems in children. However, with genetics coming under ever more scrutiny, a large number of mental disorders are being found to have a genetic component if not basis. Many psychodynamic theories, for example, posited that the individual's early upbringing was a major force in the development of schizophrenia, going so far as to blame &quot;schizophrenogenic&quot; mothers as the primary disorganizing force leading to a psychotic break. The genetics of schizophrenia are now widely understood.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can read about ODD in the links below. If it seems to ring a bell with you, please find a qualified therapist (I would recommend a good child Psychiatrist, or a child Psychologist specializing in ODD); the sooner it's diagnoses and treated, the better the outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it doesn't ring a bell, that's a relief. 123 Magic works in either case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and because of the inherent conflict with authority figures, homeschool is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; recommended for children with ODD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aacap.org/aacap/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/Facts_for_Families_Pages/Children_With_Oppositional_Defiant_Disorder_72.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry on ODD&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20024559&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mayo clinic on ODD&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/disorders/oppositional-defiant-disorder-symptoms/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;PsychCentral Oppositional Defiant Disorder Symptoms&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childmind.org/en/health/disorder-guide/oppositional-defiant-disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Child Mind Institute on ODD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-09-12T05:54:36.933" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14803" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-12T15:11:54.613" Score="2" ViewCount="5203" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 1/2 years old, 6 weeks ago we went cold turkey and stopped him wearing nappies and put proper pants on him. He wet the bed the first night and that was the only accident he had! However the last week he has started to wet the bed every night! I'm unsure what to do now...have tried waking him up and putting him on the potty that's next to his bed but he still wets. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9768" LastEditorUserId="326" LastEditDate="2014-09-16T17:36:54.013" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T01:49:12.050" Title="potty trained 2 1/2 year old wetting the bed again" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14803" CreationDate="2014-09-12T17:54:26.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While this may seem stressful and worrying to you, your son will grow out of it. Waking him to go potty is a good idea, but you can't determine when/how often he'll need to. Some children are just heavy sleepers and don't wake from the urge to go to the bathroom. My daughter had the same issue (my son did not). We looked into bed wetting alarm systems etc., but at the end of the day, a waterproof mattress pad and a change of clothes/sheets nearby was our solution for quick clean up and getting her (and us) back to bed quickly. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="590" LastActivityDate="2014-09-12T17:54:26.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14762" CreationDate="2014-09-12T19:28:07.490" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Until 22 or 24 years old I was also acting as if truth was the most important thing in life, and the way I was acting it also cost me friendships. As a results, I got depressed, had to go to psychoanalysis to feel better, and suddently I got very happy and social. I have learned this the hard way, but I think the following might help your child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Visit some hostels and spend some nights there. This may sound weird, but it was after meeting the hostels way of life (full of people backpacking around the world for very low precises) that my life had suddently a meaning... I just wanted to be around those people, and even today, 6 years after that, I use the inspiration from this environment to foster new friendships, and it ALWAYS work. People there are so cheerful, open, communicative and friendly, I bet your daugher will automatically get inspired by them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Make a theather course, specially improvisation. On this environment, you can EXPERIMENT any behaviour you want, and nobody will judge you for that. It means you will learn a lot quick quickly, and on this environment everything is also fun, and people are quite open minded, so I bet it could be helpful. It was helpful for me because of the lack of punishment for bad behaviour and the constant support from the teachers to just have fun and enjoy people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Take part in some group activites that she enjoys, like some sports, painting, learning how to cook, etc... She will be around people who are doing a pleasant task together, and at some point she might just realize that sometimes creating a good atmosphere brings more to life than seeking the truth about every thing&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Introduce her to CouchSurfing. This is a group of people who helps people travelling around the world by providing free housing in exchange of people being nice back to you. This also improved my life a lot, and I bet it would help your kid too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Let her talk to international people. It is also a very rewarding experience, and it always something which makes me remember how good it is to be around people than are pleasant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those 5 tips above are the ones which keeps me happy and wanting to have good relationships with people. Maybe some of them are usefu for your kid!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastActivityDate="2014-09-12T19:28:07.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14803" CreationDate="2014-09-13T00:18:49.660" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the physiological maturity as Danny suggests, it's possible that something's changed in his body: anything from an illness causing him to retain water slightly differently to a growth spurt.  He might even just be a bit thirstier close to bedtime than usual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also possible that he's a bit stressed out from something, or wants more attention (after all, he's lost a lot of diaper changing mommy and me time!), or something else psychological.  Those largely will just go away in time, especially if there is a specific proximal cause that itself goes away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-09-13T00:18:49.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14771" CreationDate="2014-09-13T00:26:39.593" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sort of thing is mostly useful for people in highly dangerous industries that involve radiation exposure, or other serious injuries that are nonfatal but prevent you from fathering children.  So, if you're a tech at a nuclear power plant, I suggest you look into this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, if you have cancer in an area near your testes, and require radiation therapy, this would be a good solution that allowed you to safely father children post-therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you're simply keeping it there in case of a fatal accident, I don't imagine this is a good idea.  Unless you're in a very few industries, the odds of a nonfatal accident leaving you able to not have children is very low, and those accidents would mostly leave you as highly dependent on your spouse - not a good idea to bring a child into that environment.  Save your money and put it into something useful - life insurance like others stated, or a university fund.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-09-13T00:26:39.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14808" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14815" CreationDate="2014-09-13T11:39:03.980" Score="8" ViewCount="25399" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 yrs 4 months and for the last few months if I try to sing to her she gets very cross and tells me to stop. Sometimes it's because she wants to sing herself, but more often she just doesn't want me to.&#xA;Do other parents experience this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9773" LastActivityDate="2019-01-10T13:36:13.227" Title="Why does my toddler refuse to let me sing to her" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2014-09-13T13:38:25.017" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was almost appalled when I seen the question how to stop your 8 year old from playing with a neighbor child.first of all your child is 8.not 18.at this age you are the parent and he is a child.I also seeing if you try to stop them they will sneak around and play behind your back.at 8 years old he should not have the opportunity to be playing anywhere where you do not know where he is.I also wouldn't care what the other parents said or thought if that job was talking about killing is so the teachers at school and all the friends.so in other words you have no clue what his parents are like at all.when I choose my childs friends,you may believe he's choosing them,its called giving them options,but also knowing that if something is inappropriate you take it away.you also spoke of no TV in your home.they do make   controls for your TV nowadays.there is not one job that I know of that doesn't have a television and watch TV in my neighborhood.all that my son is supervised on what he watches.please find the courage and the backbone.to stand up to your 8 year old.I don't mean it in a bad way what I'm saying is.you cannot let an 8 year old run your life.it seems to me as he has picked his friend.the child is not appropriate. To be pla making comments like that.and if I were you I would take it one step further and let his parents know what he is saying.as if he does this in school he will be arrested.I know of an 8 year old girl who just got arrested for saying she was going to get hurt with a knife.it was a butter knife and they were innocently trying to break open a box a day that was filled with jewels start setting the rules and boundaries,I hope you do not take offense by this,but an 8 year old should not be in control you should be .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9774" LastEditorUserId="9774" LastEditDate="2014-09-13T13:47:20.180" LastActivityDate="2014-09-13T13:47:20.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14808" CreationDate="2014-09-13T23:05:43.290" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This must be a fairly painful thing to hear your beloved toddler say, and you have my sympathy. I have to admit I've never heard of this before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please look for other clues that she's easily disturbed by &lt;em&gt;bodily sensations&lt;/em&gt;, such as certain kinds of shirts, labels on her shirts, a reluctance to try or eat new foods, and, among other things, a strong (if charming) desire for strict-ish routines. If she shows any of these signs, please read about the &quot;highly sensitive child&quot;. If she fits none of these, don't bother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What to do? That depends on your parenting philosophy. I'm a strong believer in respecting a child's feelings, but not in letting a child run things that adults should. Because she finds your singing distressing for some reason (can she put it into words yet?), give her choices. Ask her if she wants a song or a story at bedtime, or if she'd like to sing, or if she'd like to learn a new song with you. Or if she'd like to sing one together. You can't &quot;make&quot; her like your singing. But you can prevent her from telling you to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's an attention thing (she wants to be the center of attention and thinks her singing or controlling things accomplishes that), it should be apparent from other areas as well. That's a different problem, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Respecting a child's true and valid feelings is a trust- and- relationship building experience. This is different from coddling her. It's your job to draw the line on unreasonable demands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please forgive me if this sounds preachy or harsh. I really do empathise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-13T23:05:43.290" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14808" CreationDate="2014-09-14T00:55:22.937" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do other parents experience this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my children went through a phase where it didn't want its mother to sing to it. As with everything regarding children, though, this was &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14779/7982&quot;&gt;just a phase&lt;/a&gt;. It came and went. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I fully agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14810/7982&quot;&gt;anongoodnurse' parenting philosophy&lt;/a&gt;. You should not force your child to listen to you. But your child (or anyone else, for that matter) should not force you to stop singing either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I'd like to add one thought to the other answer: When are you singing? Is it only to her? You haven't said anything about your family. Is it just the two of you? If not, does the rest of the family enjoy singing – be it theirs or yours? Do you often sing together? I ask this not so you would answer me, but to make you ask this yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the rest of the family often enjoys singing and obviously has a good time doing so, then your child, when told that she doesn't need to listen to (you or anyone else) singing, and seeing that the others enjoy it, is very likely to grow to like it, too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-09-14T00:55:22.937" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14517" CreationDate="2014-09-14T02:43:41.440" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to point out what I think (perhaps wrongly) should be the distinction between &lt;em&gt;punishment&lt;/em&gt; and simply taking steps to repair the damage you have done. Punishment should punish bad behavior (however the parent defines it). It seems to me that doing something involuntarily is by any reasonable definition not bad behavior, so is outside the realm of punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather, you should have the child acknowledge that his involuntary action caused damage to his sibling, and understand that the proper thing to do when you cause damage, even involuntarily, is to take steps to repair it. Make him understand that he didn't do anything wrong, that he is not a bad person, that you are not mad at him, etc., &lt;em&gt;but&lt;/em&gt; that when you cause damage to someone, taking steps to repair it is simply the right thing to do. For example, when you bump into someone who has his hands full of stuff at the supermarket, causing them to drop it all over the floor, you will take a bit of your time to help them gather it back. Not because you are a bad person for doing this and need to be punished, but simply because it's the proper thing to do. So here it would be appropriate for the child to give up some of his gaming time so that the sibling is able to rebuild their saved game to how it was before. Again, not as a punishment, simply because it's the proper thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7953" LastActivityDate="2014-09-14T02:43:41.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14813" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14814" CreationDate="2014-09-14T06:44:59.280" Score="6" ViewCount="7640" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it a bassinet really necessary for a newborn? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are expecting our first in a bit less than half a year. We have been asked if we want to use the family heirloom bassinet, and we really can't decide what to do, and lack of experience doesn't help. The problem is that my sister-in-law is expecting her second one only three months before us, and will use the bassinet for at least the first three months, depending on whether or not we want it too. It feels like snatching it from her, even though she kindly offered it to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were originally thinking about going straight to a full-sized baby bed, partly because we don't have much space and we'd like to cut back on anything that isn't essential; however, my mother-in-law told me that a bassinet would be more suitable for a newborn as it fits snugly around the baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this true, does a newborn really sleep better in a bassinet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing we're wondering about is where the baby would sleep, and this might also influence the question if we need the bassinet, as our bedroom is so small that a baby bed won't fit, but a bassinet will. Our bedroom is one floor above the rest of the apartment incl. baby room, and the spiral stairs are pretty narrow. This makes me anxious about having to go downstairs 3x or more every night for feeding. If the baby room had been right next to ours, I would probably let the baby sleep in the baby room pretty quickly, but as it is with the stairs, I am strongly considering keeping it in our room for at least the first few months. On the other hand, I know that many baby sleep experts do not recommend this, and I'm really hoping we can get our baby to sleep well once it's a few months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are your experiences, will keeping the baby in our bedroom for the first few months affect it's sleeping pattern beyond a few days/weeks? In a scenario as ours, will keeping the baby in our bedroom vs going downstairs be a big difference?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2022-06-10T02:04:19.857" Title="Letting a newborn sleep - bassinet or full-sized baby bed?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14813" CreationDate="2014-09-14T10:29:59.977" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your description of your living space, I would recommend keeping the baby in the bassinet in your room, at least for the first couple of months. Newborns, especially breast fed ones, wake every 2-3 hours to feed. Having the baby close is convenient (no stairs) and lets you respond before the real hungry-angry crying starts. It's much easier to feed a calm baby!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you notice that your baby is sleeping for longer stretches at night, you will be able to start the transition to sleeping in a different room if you want to. Keep in mind that there are many factors beyond the location of the crib or bassinet that effect infant sleep patterns: temperament, growth spurts, feeding, teething, the phase of the moon. Some babies/parents sleep well in close quarters; others need more space, and needs change over time. You will figure out what works best for your family at each stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4967" LastActivityDate="2014-09-14T10:29:59.977" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14808" CreationDate="2014-09-14T12:24:53.707" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is almost 3 and he does the same. We use to enjoy singing a lot together when he started talking. Now he just does not want to sing with me anymore, and when I do he either tells me &quot;don't sing mama&quot; or he changes the lyrics to &quot;crazy&quot; words. I think is just a call for independence, but nothing to worry about, I don't think is worth fighting a battle about it. He sings on his own when he is playing alone making up his own songs or putting new lyrics to the tunes he knows. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9776" LastActivityDate="2014-09-14T12:24:53.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14816" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-14T18:02:32.513" Score="2" ViewCount="870" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-year-old daughter is constantly being distracted and we are struggling to distinguish if she is not listening due to defiant behavior versus something that she is struggling with that she doesn't have full control over around focus and her mind wandering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I feel like it may be more than just not wanting to listen to us is that she plays sports and exhibits the same behavior where sometimes it looks like she doesn't realize there is a game going on around her and it looks like her mind is in another place.  I know kids get distracted sometimes but this seems like the default behavior versus an exception.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions or things to look for to help understand how to deal with this type of behavior and help with focus and attention?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="408" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-20T17:59:11.130" LastActivityDate="2018-11-20T17:59:11.130" Title="What are suggested ways to deal with a &quot;distracted&quot; 6-year-old?" Tags="|primary-schooler|focus|listening|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14818" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-14T19:08:10.763" Score="3" ViewCount="930" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is almost 3 and speaks decent Spanish (my language) and French (father's language)  for his age. We have been using one person one language. But at childcare he practically does not speak the third local language (German). He has been in German childcare for 2 years and as they tell me is clear that he understands, and makes himself understand (but mostly not using language). According to the person in charge of language development at childcare he does say some words but only in a one-to-one conversation and very softly. Outside he engages to play with other kids but only using non verbal communication. When language comes into play he might retreat to play on his own. I believe it affects his social skills. He will be starting kindergarden soon and I would like to encourage him to be more confident about him speaking German, to ease integration in kindergarden. Any ideas?&#xA;I have tried role playing where one character speaks the third language (German), but if I get a word he purposely modifies vowels (ex: schnill instead of schnell), besides I am not fluent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9776" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T05:27:58.253" Title="Trilingual child: How to make toddler more confident to speak third/local language?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|social-development|daycare|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14819" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-14T23:51:04.153" Score="1" ViewCount="508" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is mostly about my contacts to my in-laws rather than about my child (apologies if not the right forum).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a fraught relationship with my brother-in-law and generally would try to avoid contact as much as possible. The problem is that my spouse is very much attached to him and invites him every weekend for a lunch. My spouse knows that we are not on good terms (the feelings are mutual) but thinks that since she co-owns our house she can invite him whenever she finds it suitable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation annoys me a lot. I love my wife and I have respect for the close bond that she has to her brother but I am not happy with him coming over so often. Furthermore, I think that I should be able to say &quot;no&quot; to a visit to our home by someone whom I am not on good terms with. I don't mean that he should stop coming. Rather, I don't want him to come &lt;em&gt;every weekend&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel a bit uncertain about this situation. I don't want to be the bad guy who ruins the bond between siblings. At the same time, I feel disrespected by my spouse and annoyed by the frequent presence of her brother. Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9780" LastActivityDate="2014-09-16T17:05:37.523" Title="Frequency of visits of in-laws" Tags="|extended-family|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2014-09-18T08:51:21.020" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14818" CreationDate="2014-09-15T00:06:03.627" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tree years of age is early yet, but it is clear that your child is suffering to some extent because of your desire that he be trilingual in the manner that &lt;em&gt;you have chosen&lt;/em&gt;. Two years in German daycare, and he gestures or speaks softly to be heard; he removes himself from social situations where language is relied upon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your husband fluent in German, or does he speak French at his workplace?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your husband is fluent in German, then I propose that you pick a time when &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt; speaks only German in the home, for example, at the supper (evening meal) table. You might suffer (little in comparison to what he goes through every day at daycare) and you will benefit by becoming fluent in German as well. (This is how my parents kept my siblings and I fluent in their native language.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your husband is not fluent in German, then please consider hiring a German tutor to come in for both you and your child several times a week (he has a lot to catch up on before kindergarten.) That way, you can speak German to him at home, increasing his skill, and keep French and Spanish at the supper table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, it will be important for him to have friends, and this looks bleak for German speaking friends at the moment. If you spoke German more fluently, you could invite German speaking playmates over to the house - he might become more comfortable in one-on-one conversations that way, especially if you could translate if the need arises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the age when children with linguistic problems tend to develop &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/stuttering&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;stuttering&lt;/a&gt;. That would be a sad thing to  have happen to any child with the linguistic pressures your son is facing. Help him in any way you can to relieve this pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(With my children, we spoke only Spanish whenever we were in the car. That worked quite well. They were older, however, and each had a Spanish-English dictionary in the seat pocket in front of them. Though this rule is no longer in effect, they have retained their Spanish.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T00:06:03.627" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14816" CreationDate="2014-09-15T06:13:45.590" Score="4" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Here's a story:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my children behaved very differently than all the other ones at the same age. He would simply ignore something you said, as if he hadn't heard it. When we had his ears examined, the doctor said that the ears are OK, but the behavior she sees isn't, and encouraged us to have other tests made. The child was diagnosed with &amp;quot;partial sensorical dysfunctions&amp;quot; and a &amp;quot;partial sensorical integration dysfunction&amp;quot; (whatever that would be in English, this is translated from the German terms). In the end these symptoms placed him somewhere between slightly autistic, distinctly ADHS, and a &amp;quot;normal&amp;quot; child. It was prophesied that between his 4th and 7th birthday he might develop more in the direction of either of those three categories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For several years we had 6-monthly checks (or more often, if we wanted it) with a team of doctors and psychologists specialized in dealing with such kids. They were regularly conferring with his kindergarten teachers and his doctor. Tests done on him helped us tremendously to understand his strengths and limitations and pedagogical counsel helped us dealing with the effects of those on our daily lives. After several consultations with his kindergarten, he was transfered to a group that was smaller because it integrated several handicapped kids, and had two teachers trained in dealing with them. This was a great improvement over his previous group. Everybody involved suggested therapy rather than medication. An &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_therapy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;occupational therapy&lt;/a&gt; was proscribed with a weekly 45min appointment, which he visited several years. (We had asked around a lot before we chose a practice for the therapy and thought they were very good.) Everybody involved agreed that he made noticeable improvements every year. This was a very important reason for deciding to delay his switch from kindergarten to school by one year, which gave him one more year to catch up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nowadays (he's a preteen) when teachers ask why he's a year older than his peers and we explain the trouble he had, they just wonder, and say that he is one of their best pupils, and regularly describe him as highly concentrated(!), enduring, intelligent, and well embedded in his group. And we have yet to meet someone who has worked with him and did not marvel at his creativity. Many agree that his social competence might be achieved through explicit intellectual effort more than through actual social competence, but the results, while not above average, are good enough to give him a very good standing among his peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As all of my children, he is totally different from all the others. Of course, his differences show in some areas that fit his earlier diagnosis, and his mother and I see some of that diagnosis still shining though. He is old enough now to know and understand his problems. I tell him that everybody else around him has their problems and limitations, too, and that everybody has to work harder in their problematic areas. With this justification I demand he tries harder when his limitations hinder him, but I try to avoid to chastise him for being who he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea whether he would have turned out as well as he did without the therapy and the other support he got. It might well be, but since you can never go back and try something else, I am glad we did everything we were able to do in order to help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just as all my children, he is the most special of my children. And of course I love him most of all – just as I do with all my children. &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;My conclusion:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea if there's a problem with your daughter, let alone &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; it is, if there really is one. But I suggest you do not take this lightly. If you feel that this is areas where your daughter compares inferior to her peers, have your daughter checked. Put as much effort as you can into finding someone who understands what you think seems wrong with her, and someone who can help her to catch up in those areas. Try to get help (counseling) in dealing with her, if you feel overburdened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And never forget: You have the best child in the world (don't we all?) and love her more than anything else. This is the foundation everything you do for her builds on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T13:00:55.890" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14813" CreationDate="2014-09-15T06:27:26.913" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, newborns sleep best when firmly attached to a parent. &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt; The second-best is some sleeping place that is small enough that they feel limitations to all sides, especially around their heads. However, this could just as well be between their parents or in a bigger bed of their own that is downsized by a few cushions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another experience I have is that most newborns require regular attention during the nights. They might be hungry, need their diaper changed (after being fed, usually), or fell bad for no apparent reason. If you want your child to be as happy as possible, and still want to catch a few hours of sleep once in a while, then make it as easy as possible to get to the child when it wakes up, and to get the child to you. That is, you either want your child in your bed, or want the child's bed as close as possible to yours. (If the latter results in two of you not being able to sleep rather than one of you, consider taking shifts with one of you to sleep in the child's room.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14609/7982&quot;&gt;another answer of mine&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;One thing we have done was to build a small extension to our bed where a child can easily be put to sleep alone, but just as easy be picked up from when it cries. It was about an inch lower than our mattress, so that the children would not roll into our bed by themselves. (Some children &quot;travel&quot; a lot during sleep.) Putting it on my side of the bed somewhat lowered the lure of wanting to be fed in the middle of the night. I would lie on my back, the baby on my belly until the baby was quiet and comfortable. Then I'd slowly roll to the side and let the baby slip to its &quot;balcony&quot;. If the baby starts to cry, I'd pick it up again. After a few nights this could become routine for the two of you and the child might be more relaxed about lying alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was so practical a solution that in hindsight I feel bad about not having done this for the first children already. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14418/7982&quot;&gt;every child is different&lt;/a&gt; from all the others, and so your child could be the opposite of what my experience is. You never know until you've tried. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T06:27:26.913" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14823" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19081" CreationDate="2014-09-15T08:04:12.260" Score="3" ViewCount="7965" Body="&lt;p&gt;My twin boys are 10 weeks old. One of them has his legs as the frog legs position. Till what age must I consider this a normal issue?  or is it abnormal already? I thought it was normal that I hadn't asked his ped yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T20:38:26.700" Title="Till what age are frog feet a normal issue?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14818" CreationDate="2014-09-15T09:54:36.660" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I wouldn't worry too much. Learning languages takes some time. It is often said that speech in bilingual kids can be delayed. Even if he is already fluent in his first and even his second language, he might just need some time to process a third one. It's a good sign that he understands German; give him some time, and the rest will follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think more one-on-one interaction might be good for him, as he will easier develop the confidence to speak; this could be with adults or with kids. Perhaps this is also something the childcare could encourage? And I don't see why you shouldn't be able to invite German speaking playmates over to your house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're really worried about his social skills, I would also consider trying to find Spanish or French speaking kids his age with whom he can play. Playing with them will boost his confidence and his social skills, which in turn he can then apply when playing with German speaking kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing to remember is not to put any pressure on him. He's learning a lot at the moment (three languages in three years! and that on top of all the other stuff toddlers need to learn!) and feeling that he has to meet any specific standard made for monolingual kids will only set you and him up for failure. Relax!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T09:54:36.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14819" CreationDate="2014-09-15T10:30:12.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simple answer is simple.  He comes over once every two weeks and you grin and bear it.  A compromise where no-one is totally happy.  After all, compromise is the essence of any relationship between two equals, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the short answer (which may well turn out to be the right one).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there's a wrinkle to this that has to be considered.  Your wife probably isn't doing this just to spite you.  Two of the most important men in her life can't stand one another and she's stuck in the middle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What she'll want is for you to get along, or preferably to become friends, to see in each other what she sees in you both.  Your dislike for each other will be upsetting (and perhaps confusing) for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her solution to this is to keep throwing you together in the hope that familiarity will breed something other than contempt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a husband, your primary job is to care for your wife.  Therefore, you need to take steps to make her life better, sitting idle and hoping the situation will resolve itself is not a good option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whilst you may never warm to the guy, your part in this compromise is to try to make it work.  Don't just sit in the room with him without hitting him with a stick, work at it.  Try to find some common ground, some way that you can have a civilised conversation with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;tldr:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speak to your wife.  Tell her that you don't want him coming around so often.  After all, the two of you deserve time alone with each other.  Balance this by saying that, when he is around, you're going to do your best to get along and ask her to help you find some common ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T10:30:12.830" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14819" CreationDate="2014-09-15T10:38:42.353" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[she] thinks that since she co-owns our house she can invite him whenever&#xA;  she finds it suitable&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's an example of a very selfish behavior. I think you should have really long and sincere talk with your wife with a lot of &quot;I feel&quot;s, &quot;partnership&quot;s and &quot;compromise&quot;s. I think that no one should use such argument at all, not to mention somebody's life partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-09-15T10:38:42.353" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14819" CreationDate="2014-09-15T18:36:10.077" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: You need a therapist for this, preferably for the two of you, or, if she refuses to go, for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He basically insults people without meaning it. The problem is that he doesn't realise it and have difficulties acknowledging it and apologising for it. It's not just me who has a problem with him - he gets routinely fired from jobs for getting people mad at him. As far as I know, he hasn't been able to stay in a job for more than 3 or 4 months. My wife says &quot;he is just like that&quot; and has accepted it - as have other members of her family. I have difficulties having such person around. –  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes the answer a bit more difficult, because your brother-in-law is not merely insensitive but he is dysfunctionally so (for anyone to be unable to hold a job because of boorishness makes it dysfunctional.) And like so many dysfunctional people, the family has tolerated this behavior, making excuses for it (&quot;he's just like that&quot;.) Of course you have difficulties being around him; so would anyone but his family. Unless he is mentally handicapped/had a mental illness, it isn't possible for him to repeatedly insult people without knowing that what he's saying is insulting. How many jobs does someone need to lose? The hints are there. He either can't (because of a personality disorder) or won't (because of insufficient incentive) change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You presumably knew the brother before proposing to your wife, so you made a commitment of sorts to the family. Now you have to work it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you don't want him over every Saturday, and, yes, you have good reason to be hurt, as your wife is not being a very sensitive spouse, especially with the attitude that because she co-owns the house, she can do whatever she pleases, even though she knows how you (and a number of others) feel about him. You are feeling hurt, disrespected, invalidated, coerced, and probably (at times) unloved. It's understandable. And it's not acceptable to be dismissed by your wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume you've talked with your wife 'til you're blue in the face, and the problem is still there. And you're reminded of it every Saturday. It's time to negotiate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife's cultural background might regard weekly time together the norm. If so, she can meet him away from the house, sometimes on weekends, but why not on weeknights as well, to allow the two of you to have whole, peaceful weekends together? This is not at all unreasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key issue here is that reasonable, healthy boundaries need to be set, and your wife/wife's family probably has no experience with healthy boundary setting. This is so much more common than you'd expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your wife need to take this to a therapist. I assume a separation of your sister from her brother is not the outcome you desire. The therapist needs to help the two of you negotiate an amicable (and healthy) solution. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I empathize, and I wish you both the best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-09-16T17:05:37.523" LastActivityDate="2014-09-16T17:05:37.523" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2014-09-16T08:52:09.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We roll a soft blanket and lay it along side of her. She sleeps with her head turned sideways so this allows the soother to stay propped but if she needs to push it out of her mouth she still can. Doesn't always work but buys us time. Hate constantly getting up to put it back in! She is 2 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9787" LastActivityDate="2014-09-16T08:52:09.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14835" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-16T17:03:10.550" Score="0" ViewCount="172" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do home day care, but this could also apply to people with mixed age kids. I have twin girls aged 18 months who I think need to nap in the morning and also later in the afternoon. My 10 month old boy isn't having this morning nap so I am trying to get them to sleep while he is screaming in the pack n play in the other room. Anyone have advice on how to juggle mixed ages who aren't on the same page? I'm also adding a 2 year old boy to the mix in a month as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7804" LastActivityDate="2014-09-16T17:31:06.270" Title="How do you do nap time if some kids want to be rowdy and others need to sleep?" Tags="|sleep|daycare|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14835" CreationDate="2014-09-16T17:31:06.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you what the daycare my children goes to does:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies up to 12 months are in the same room. They have 2 teachers, and usually one is playing with the kids that are awake, and one is putting down or feeding someone.&#xA;The awake kids are engaged in play so they don't cry, or being picked up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you are only one person, you need to teach the 10 month old to play with toys on his own if he can. Do you have maybe a bigger play yard he can sit in?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For kids over 12 months, they all get their naps synchronized. Everyone goes down for a nap after lunch, and sleeps maximum 2 hours. If they wake up earlier they have to be quiet (quiet time). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that moving forward, you should try and synchronize the naps. Especially once you get a 2 year old. You don't really want to leave the 2 year old alone (especially not alone with babies) while you put the others down to sleep, in my opinion. A 2 year old will probably not be happy if he was confined to a play yard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-09-16T17:31:06.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14803" CreationDate="2014-09-16T18:56:04.113" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard that adults can learn Kegels and this article mentions them for kids. Perhaps read up if you want other ideas.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.essentialkids.com.au/younger-kids/kids-development/a-guide-to-bedwetting--why-it-happens-and-how-to-deal-with-it-20110901-1jnga.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.essentialkids.com.au/younger-kids/kids-development/a-guide-to-bedwetting--why-it-happens-and-how-to-deal-with-it-20110901-1jnga.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: My assumption was that you know what Kegels are! I'm recommending to teach your child how to stop the flow of urine while peeing in the potty, so that they can strengthen the non-voluntary muscles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9790" LastEditorUserId="9790" LastEditDate="2016-09-15T01:49:12.050" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T01:49:12.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14838" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-16T19:57:42.407" Score="5" ViewCount="453" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand that what children are supposed to eat is a bone of contention between parents and grandparents &#xA;in many families. However this is not the main point of my question. I would like to describe a bizarre stalemate&#xA;situation remotely related to the &quot;proper food&quot; question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Due to a medical condition my son had (sort of an eccema on a finger) that did not improve my wife suggested to&#xA;try a cow milk-free diet, or at least keeping cow milk to a minimum. We went ahead with this and things seemed&#xA;to improve, but then it was Christmas eve and big showers of milk chocolate were to be expected from all sides.&#xA;So my wife called my parents in advance and kindly asked them not to send milk chocolate this time.&#xA;My parents seemed to be a bit puzzled by that request, but did not object. Yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was not until a week later that my father called my wife. That's where things are getting complicated. The&#xA;content of said phone call is being recalled fundamentally differently by both parties. My dad says he just &#xA;stated his concerns about the measure we took. My wife says, the call was one long stream of accusations, culminating&#xA;in the claim that not allowing milk was &quot;neurotic&quot;. My dad denies to have said that, saying that he stated that&#xA;the measure &quot;would make our son neurotic&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I talked to my dad, but we could not find a consensus on this issue. He asked me if I had a suggestion on how to proceed.&#xA;After quite some thinking I suggested to him to call my wife - telling him that I only had second-hand information and&#xA;apparently could not contribute anything meaningful to this conflict. I asked him twice, but to no avail. He claims not&#xA;to have done anything wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is not really motivated to approach my dad herself, since I asked her to do this in previous conflicts already,&#xA;where my dad's response was something along the lines of &quot;gee, what conflict? do we have a conflict here?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone had similar experiences where family communication got totally stuck? I'd be happy to learn what your solution&#xA;was, if any. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9791" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2014-10-20T05:51:16.623" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T05:51:16.623" Title="Getting grandparents to accept parents' choices" Tags="|food|communication|grandparents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14838" CreationDate="2014-09-16T20:47:44.627" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;So what's your actual question? How to make peace between your father and your wife? Or how to proceed with your son's diet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That phone conversation in itself doesn't sound too mysterious - it's very well possible that he honestly thought that he was just stating his concerns, but that he did so in a tone that sounded very accusing to your wife. It doesn't matter whether or not one of them is 'right' or 'wrong' about what was said; it does matter that your wife feels hurt. So get him to apologize to her; surely he must understand that he hurt her feelings even if he didn't intend to do so? Do not ask her to approach your father - if my husband asked me to do that, I'd feel he chose his father's side, not mine. Your father has been told that he was misunderstood, so it's for him to take action. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding your son's diet: it's your son, so you and your wife get to decide, especially since this is a medical issue. Your parents don't have a say in this matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way (can't believe I didn't notice this earlier): do you mean Christmas Eve 2013? Has this really gone on for nearly a year!?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastEditorUserId="7088" LastEditDate="2014-09-16T22:15:51.837" LastActivityDate="2014-09-16T22:15:51.837" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14840" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-16T21:46:38.013" Score="7" ViewCount="11324" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is nearly 5, and damn clever but unfortunately he lacks empathy and social skills. Among other things, he does not understand that when a parent gives an order, that order is to be followed -- or conversely, when he gives a parent an order in precisely the same way, that order may very well be ignored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is generally well-behaved among strangers and among caretakers (sitters, kindergarten staff, etc.). At home with his parents is where he tests his limits and our patience -- he is also very strong-willed, stubborn, hyperactive, destructive, and absolutely tireless. Looking at other posts here (like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14801/109&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14796/109&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14632/destructive-when-unattended&quot;&gt;3&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1925/how-can-we-discipline-a-strong-willed-misbehaving-5-year-old&quot;&gt;4&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4860/109&quot;&gt;5&lt;/a&gt;) seems to suggest &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20024559&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;ODD&lt;/a&gt; but I am not jumping to conclusions, just trying to describe him (although that ODD page is eerily accurate). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want him to understand what authority means and how it works. As you can see from earlier questions, I first addressed this problem &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2417/how-can-we-discipline-our-toddler&quot;&gt;three years ago&lt;/a&gt;! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We have always tried to use reason and natural consequences as disciplinary action, and when he's completely unreasonable and unreachable occasionally &lt;em&gt;physically carrying him&lt;/em&gt; to his room and keeping him there for a short while.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Time-outs and losing privileges and toys doesn't work because he usually ignores it and continues his thing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We've done &quot;123-Magic&quot; since age 2 and it is mostly effective in the specific situation but there has been zero improvement in the long term. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm also trying to use elements from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.at/books/about/How_to_Talk_So_Kids_Will_Listen_Listen_S.html?id=LG69eA4wvKoC&amp;amp;redir_esc=y&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;classic book&lt;/a&gt; &lt;em&gt;How to Talk So Kids Will Listen &amp;amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk&lt;/em&gt; but it's just not getting through to him; he doesn't listen and he doesn't want to talk...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I teach my son that we as parents have authority over him;&lt;/strong&gt; that this is not to open to discussion; and that it is not a two-way street?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2019-10-29T08:17:10.637" Title="How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14838" CreationDate="2014-09-17T01:16:23.237" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me parse this out a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your wife (or, at least, your wife with your support) decided to cut milk out of your son's diet. It seems to have helped him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your father felt free to criticize her decision, instead of asking you about it. He told your wife, the mother of your son, that her (and your, by the way) actions will make your son neurotic. He thinks he did nothing wrong and is not interested in repairing the relationship between himself and the person the closest to you in the world. This might well affect him, you, your wife, your mother (?), and your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet you asked your wife to approach the person who accused her of potentially making your son neurotic, even though you are aware it will likely do no good, am I correct? What do you expect this call to achieve besides possibly feelings of humiliation for your wife?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a no-brainer to me. Your father needs to stay out of your marriage when it comes to money, childrearing, the number of children you have, which sides of the bed you sleep on and other personal matters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has questions, he should &lt;em&gt;ask you&lt;/em&gt; about them, not her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is your job. He's your father. She's your &lt;em&gt;wife&lt;/em&gt;. She did nothing wrong, if the story is correct. She made a simple request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what I would do. Meet with your father, and gently tell him he hurt your wife's feelings. She is only doing what you both think best for the child you all love. Ask him what neurosis he thinks your son might develop if he doesn't drink milk or eat milk products. (Maybe he will see that he overreacted.) He can argue that he didn't do anything, but he &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; argue that she doesn't feel hurt, because she does. Don't let him blame it on her for being too sensitive or misunderstanding. Let him know you agree with your wife, that it was wrong of him to tell her this, and that you object to the way he disrespected her and your decision. What he does with this information will tell you how much he respects the feelings of the two of you. Then you can take it from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he chooses to do nothing, tell him he is not to call your wife with any questions about parenting or other personal matters. Then tell your wife you did everything you could, and have a talk about how you might protect her in the future from your father (or if she wants you to.) At least she will know you are supporting her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People have problems like this &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt;. Sometimes they're worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People have a hard time setting healthy boundaries with their parents, especially if raised in a culture that places a lot of emphasis on honoring one's parents. But I think part of loving one's child is by loving the person they choose to marry. I have four married children, so I do have some experience in this. I also have a husband who is very close to his very large family, and who had a hard time saying &quot;no&quot; to his mother when she would tell him I was doing something wrong with our children. I'm glad he's close to his family, and I wouldn't want anything to come between him and them. You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand. Consequently we had a lot of discussions about what was right for us, and how to set appropriate boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below are some articles on setting boundaries. It's daunting but important and straightforward. I hope it helps all of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/0007498&quot;&gt;10 Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/Boundaries.html&quot;&gt;Boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/setting-boundaries-parents-after-married-25471.html&quot;&gt;Setting Boundaries With Parents After You Get Married&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-17T01:16:23.237" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14840" CreationDate="2014-09-17T06:47:54.883" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: &lt;em&gt;1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2–12&lt;/em&gt; by Thomas W. Phelan&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ah, the joys of parenting. You haven't said anything about if he has siblings, and if so, where is he in birth order, and how he treats them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please allow me to go on a bit about ODD since it sounds like a possibility. ODD kids &lt;strong&gt;often&lt;/strong&gt;: are very bright, get angry, argue with adults, refuse to obey requests/rules, deliberately annoy others, accuse others of their own mistakes or bad behavior (trust me on this one: they &lt;em&gt;lie&lt;/em&gt; and are good at it), are susceptible to/easily annoyed by others, are resentful, are often rancorous/revengeful, don't think that they act in an oppositional way, but rather they believe it is a &lt;em&gt;problem of others&lt;/em&gt; and that others make unreasonable demands of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frequently, the parents say these children appear to be: insensitive to punishment, unimpressionable, difficult to deal with, risks takers, daring, &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; insensitive to punishments and physical harm. They appear to be exceptionally tough as though pain does not affect them. The possession of these character traits from the early years of their lives is significant because of the experiences which they produce and the reactions which they provoke in others. It is very likely that these children &lt;em&gt;cause more conflicts and problems than the majority of children but, because they are so recalcitrant to punishment, they also receive more than would be needed to control the majority of children of the same age&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oppositional Defiant Disorder usually makes its appearance before the age of 8...  The negative symptoms usually flourish in the family environment but, with the passage of time, they may occur in other situations. Their beginning is typically gradual and usually lasts for months or years. ...[M]any children who suffer from this affliction never have serious problems as [adults]. Oppositional children openly show their unease and tension and use them both to annoy others and also to seek attention and care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, kids with ODD drive their parents crazy, and it gets worse as they get older. But the disorder is named primarily for the opposition, and that they do very well. If you think he might have ODD, it's really good to know before they continue for years in this path. Though many kids with ODD become fine, stable adults, some do not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there is a biological component (not always obvious.) Did you or your wife have a sibling or a cousin that drove their parents crazy, was always late for school, got kicked out of high school or was always getting detention, etc., or landed in jail?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's enough scary stuff. I'll try to answer your question now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a short but miraculous book called &lt;em&gt;1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2–12&lt;/em&gt; by Thomas W. Phelan (the book I used was the earliest edition)  which outlines a way of giving time outs &lt;strong&gt;without argument&lt;/strong&gt;. You said he doesn't respond to time-outs, &lt;strong&gt;but...&lt;/strong&gt; if you and your wife do this &lt;em&gt;each and every time&lt;/em&gt; he disobeys/acts out/needs discipline, it will eventually work, and it will help him as well, to learn to build up his tolerance to frustration/not getting his way. But one of the reasons I recommend this especially for the oppositional child is that once the method is explained and discussed with your son, you don't ever have to argue with him, raise your voice, or lose your cool again, you simply have to say, calmly, &amp;quot;Goeffrey, that's a &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;, to which he will howl and ask you what he's doing wrong (trying to get out of it; if he really doesn't know, you might need to explain, but nothing more), etc., whereupon you say, &amp;quot;Goeffrey, that's a &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;, and if he continues, you say, &amp;quot;That's a &lt;em&gt;three&lt;/em&gt;. Time out.&amp;quot; and he goes to his time out spot, whether you have to carry him or not. The wonder of it is that you do not engage with him in (what will often become an) argument at all. There are lots of suggestions for time outs, positive reinforcement and things like sticker charts for the times he does respond by controlling himself. (I used to keep small toys my kids loved in the house to give out immediately once a pre-determined and explained number of stickers was reached.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, when he gives you an order, once you've explained that people don't ask like that (and he is expected to accept your answer and discuss it calmly if at all), all you have to say is, &amp;quot;Geoffrey, that's a &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;. If it sounds blissful, that's because it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ADHD is often a co-mormid condition with ODD. It used to be that kids were not diagnosed with ADHD before the age of six, but that's no longer true. If in doubt, get him tested by a reputable child psychiatrist (my personal preference) or, a child psychologist who specializes in ODD and ADHD. It's been my experience that the psychiatrists are much more proactive (and not necessarily with drugs.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm truly sorry this is so long and so negative. I really empathize with parents who have oppositional children. I know there are things that help. I know life can be much more joyful in the home. And, once he starts behaving (and he will), you will be able to talk more, and enjoy more, give more, respect more, listen more, and struggle less. You will have asserted your authority without anger or being physical, and he will learn that there are consequences &lt;em&gt;every time&lt;/em&gt; he misbehaves. You will have modeled calm parenting, which will become his default position as a parent himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nepes.eu/?q=node/440&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;GIFTEDNESS AND ASSOCIATED DISORDERS: OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-09-17T06:55:32.483" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14844" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-17T11:59:25.193" Score="10" ViewCount="6528" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sure everyone's aware of the scenario: the kid is exhausted, but instead of laying down and going to sleep, she won't sit still, won't stop asking questions, won't stop thinking of things to do instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's going on inside the child's body/brain that makes them want to do anything other than get the rest that they need at the moment? (Assuming no extenuating circumstances - i.e. in their own bed, with people they know and trust, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T06:15:48.700" Title="Why do children become active when tired?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8880" CreationDate="2014-09-17T12:18:48.523" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thats not at all abusive, making children go to bed early by 7 is too good . they get adequate amount of sleep and that helps the kid to be more active all the day long.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9795" LastActivityDate="2014-09-17T12:18:48.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14813" CreationDate="2014-09-18T12:47:50.637" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had slept in her bed (120/60 cm) from the start and had no trouble moving to another room from our bedroom. At first she almost always stayed in the position we laid her in, but later she seemed to make a good use of all the extra space by rolling around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you make a decision which makes the baby sleep a long way from you, you will change the decision after a few days. You will wake up several times per night for the first dozen weeks, and particularly walking up and down the stairs really should be out of the question. With the typical sleep deprivation and a bit of bad luck you'll fall down those stairs pretty quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you had room for the bed, I'd suggest bed. Some children respond badly to change, and you'll want to move the baby our of your bedroom at some point. Changing both the basinet to bed and the room may be harder than just changing the room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really can't fit the bed in your bedroom - use the basinet. I don't know how large it really is, but if your little one turns out to grow out of it quickly, you may have a problem. But for the crucial, difficult and taxing first weeks you really have to have the baby close during the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also consider two other things: co-sleeping (here's &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/197/is-there-any-scientific-evidence-in-favor-of-co-sleeping-with-children&quot;&gt;one&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11562/why-are-parents-so-concerned-about-not-letting-the-babies-sleep-with-them/11563&quot;&gt;two&lt;/a&gt; good questions and answers about it) and ... moving one parent to the baby's room. That way one of you could get a good nights sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-09-18T12:47:50.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14813" CreationDate="2014-09-18T15:03:44.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely agree that you should not have the baby far from your room, unless you're not breastfeeding and don't mind putting a second adult bed or couch in the baby room for the first few months.  There are plenty of options for what to sleep the infant in, however:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Moses basket for the first month or two&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bassinet - doesn't have to be an expensive one, plenty of $50 range bassinets&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cosleeper - a specific kind of bassinet that attaches to your bed to make breastfeeding easier&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cosleeping in your bed - this is somewhat controversial and may have some risks, but many believe strongly in cosleeping; do your research.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Crib in your own room - if it fits (even in a complicated manner), this is perfectly acceptable, as long as the crib has a 'high' setting that you can easily get the child out when you're tired.  If you're very short and/or the crib doesn't have an infant setting, this may be too difficult.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; use a regular child bed, as the mattress will not be firm enough.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-09-18T15:03:44.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14844" CreationDate="2014-09-18T16:51:45.313" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem kids have winding down is being able to focus.  Think about yourself; as you get tired, you lose some of your ability to focus, right?  If you work long hours, the more hours you work the less you can focus on your tasks and the more distracted you get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids work the same way, but to a much higher degree because they have less skill at intentionally focusing their attention.  A kid that's a little tired will still be able to focus on going to sleep; a kid that's very tired will become more distracted, will see more things to play with and want to play with all of them.  They'll lose their self control, which is something kids have to work very hard to develop.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're not so tired that they fall asleep directly due to tiredness, as at least for my kids they &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; do that if they get very tired.  They're in that middle zone, like when I'm up at 11pm after putting them to bed and know I should go to bed but instead grab a PB&amp;amp;J and watch Big Bang Theory reruns for an hour.  That's basically what they're doing, just the toddler version.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-09-18T16:51:45.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14813" CreationDate="2014-09-18T18:57:17.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the US, the American Academy of Pediatrics have a number of recommendations for reducing SIDS. For their site &lt;a href=&quot;http://healtychildren.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;healtychildren.org&lt;/a&gt;, the page on newborn sleep and SIDS has number of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/sleep/Pages/Preventing-SIDS.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;recommendations&lt;/a&gt;, including:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Place your baby to sleep in the same room where you sleep but not the same bed&lt;/strong&gt;. Keep the crib or bassinet within an arm’s reach of your bed. You can easily watch or breastfeed your baby by having your baby nearby. Babies who sleep in the same bed as their parents are at risk of SIDS, suffocation, or strangulation. Parents can roll onto babies during sleep or babies can get tangled in the sheets or blankets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note that in other countries co-sleeping is practiced and not dis-recommended, as is the use of covers for your baby. In Denmark, where I lived before having a baby, it is common to sleep with the baby the first few months, and it is common to use baby comforters.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience, you do not want to be far away from your baby at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my first baby, it was very hard for me to sleep, I had to listen to him breathing to feel calm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborns usually eat every 3rd hour, so you don't want to run around the house that often, regardless of breast or bottle feeding. You need to get back to sleep easily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did not use a bassinet, but a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=miyo%20hammock&amp;amp;qpvt=miyo%20hammock&amp;amp;FORM=IGRE&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby hammock&lt;/a&gt; (there are several brands out there, if you choose to go that way be sure to find one suitable for sleep and not just naps), and we also had the changing table in our room the first few months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;strong&gt;I see no reason why you cannot have any type of suitable bed for a baby in your room. A bassinet, co-sleeper, hammock or crib all would work.&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;The baby will look tiny in the crib at first, but I don't think there is anything wrong with using it, and I don't think a bassinet will be 'cozier' for the baby (the way a hammock is). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-09-18T22:52:03.523" LastActivityDate="2014-09-18T22:52:03.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14857" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14860" CreationDate="2014-09-18T19:33:25.107" Score="4" ViewCount="1090" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3.5 month healthy baby girl and my wife and I seem to manage very well. I do not rely on other people and I am quite aware what others are able to do and how much effort goes into something. My wife has been truly wonderful throughout the entire pregnancy process, and I would like to show my appreciation of all that she has gone through and all that she has done. My problem is that I do not want my wife to think I'm rewarding her, instead of showing my honest and heartfelt appreciation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I should mention she quite a smart person and besides physics she has a degree in behavioral sciences.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6226" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-19T17:10:04.207" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T21:14:39.333" Title="How can I show my appreciation for my wife?" Tags="|pregnancy|relationships|motivation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2014-09-19T09:23:30.060" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even my kid love to color a lot, he loves super heroes like spider man, pokemon etc.,  i regularly download from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/printable-pokemon-coloring-pages-your-toddler-will-love_0081987/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MomJunction&lt;/a&gt; , even they have many cartoons , animals, alphabet etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9795" LastActivityDate="2014-09-19T09:23:30.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14857" CreationDate="2014-09-19T18:19:13.940" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations! The first thing that comes to my mind is to treat her to something nice that you know she will appreciate. Massages, dinners, whatever it might be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, in the extent that breastfeeding allows, give her as much time off (away from the baby) as you can manage. By definition she will be spending a lot of time with your daughter and she will be wanting some breaks from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even small things count. You can change all diapers whenever you're home, and you can take your daughter for a walk (in a pram) for an hour or two while your wife can relax at home. Don't just arrange for somebody else to take care of your baby -- it's important that it's &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; doing these things instead of her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea I want to convey is that you could try to show her that you want to to reduce her burden because that shows you're aware that she &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; a burden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-09-19T18:19:13.940" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14861" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14873" CreationDate="2014-09-19T18:53:22.357" Score="4" ViewCount="2659" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am wondering if it is good idea to have both of our children study together in primary school instead of being 1 year apart. They have almost exactly 1 year difference so it assumes that the younger one would be admitted one year before the standard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can think of few advantages but I would like to know all the disadvantages of doing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1803" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T13:17:28.397" Title="Disadvantages of having 2 children (1 year apart) in same school class" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14862" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-19T22:05:39.987" Score="9" ViewCount="2509" Body="&lt;p&gt;So my son is seeing a girl as of a couple weeks ago. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They go out salsa dancing a lot, which both like, and take salsa classes together. He told me he made it clear to her that a relationship is not possible for him. He just came out of one and just knows that he does not want a long-term relationship now. Friends with benefits is fine though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The girl, on the other hand, was telling him that he must tell her as soon as he has something with someone else, and then she'll end it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you see the problem with interests here? The relation they have between each other is not right from the start. From experience I would say, it is rarely the case that boys and girls want the same thing. So, this is not a such a big surprise is it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son wants other girls. So sooner or later this is bound to fail anyways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So his question was actually:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Should I try to make clear to her, all the time, that we are not together, so when I actually meet someone else the final punch in her face will be less brutal &lt;em&gt;or&lt;/em&gt; should I say/act not related to this and one day surprise her with the news that I was with someone else?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, he asked me this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I really like her, so if I have something like a one night stand with another girl I don't want to lose her for that. What if I just keep it to myself?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I felt a bit lost. What kind of advice would you give to your son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9803" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T20:59:34.923" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T13:35:02.917" Title="Son 22 asks me how to deal with a friend with benefits, so that she does not get hurt" Tags="|relationships|adult-child|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2015-04-10T23:07:33.723" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14864" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-19T23:54:01.173" Score="6" ViewCount="8871" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 month old son has started burying his face into his stuffed animals while he plays with them. Is there a reason for this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9805" LastActivityDate="2022-01-03T03:45:52.380" Title="baby burying his face into stuffed animals" Tags="|play-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12147" CreationDate="2014-09-20T01:58:28.177" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a stay at home of a very active three year old, and a 3 month old. My husband accepted a job offer and we moved across country. We love our new home area. And we do have some family here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, it's so lonely. True relationships take years to develop and can take even longer to find. Since moving I have joined a few groups to network and made a huge effort to meet moms with in the neighborhood. My son will be joining preschool part time (if finances allow) come next term. His age is what makes it especially tough. Pre k needs CONSTANT interaction and supervision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good days are rare. It's hard enough on a mom with a strong support system let alone one that doesn't have a support system at all. Being alone in a strange city thousands of miles from home and having to protect, care for and entertain a young one is incredibly challenging, and some days down right scary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me just having a compassionate listening ear at the end of the day is rewarding enough. Hugs, snuggles, dates after bedtime that doesn't involve shaving my legs because quite frankly I'm too tired! Bring home dinner from that restaurant you both wanted to try and surprise her. Weekends spent together as a family exploring makes getting out and hunting down a grocery store much easier. Source out cool places she can go during the week with the kiddo and go over the weekend with her. You don't have to make a big deal just say, &lt;em&gt;hey let's pack some snacks and take a drive, thought we could check out a few places&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The friends will come once she gets on a path of joy. Sometimes we just need someone to light the way for us. :) it sounds like you are already helping in a big way just by taking over as soon as you get home. And that is so appreciated. Having a quiet moment just to hear oneself think is therapy! Good luck and best wishes to your wife! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9807" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T12:48:44.143" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T12:48:44.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14862" CreationDate="2014-09-20T16:09:25.020" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Did it ever occur to him not to sleep with her? He sounds like he wants it all. At everyone else's expense. I'm more floored that you found it hard to respond to him. Would you react the same way if it were your daughter. I don't think so. Tell him to leave her alone. There is no such thing as a friend with benefits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9809" LastActivityDate="2014-09-20T16:09:25.020" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14867" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14878" CreationDate="2014-09-20T19:58:10.523" Score="16" ViewCount="223153" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've seen some parents blowing on their baby's face when crying. The baby suddenly stops crying but he looked very surprised. I wonder if this could harm the baby in some way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9416" LastActivityDate="2016-04-28T04:59:21.207" Title="Is it safe to blow on a baby's face?" Tags="|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14867" CreationDate="2014-09-20T21:25:33.337" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are blowing softly, it could hardly harm the child. Anything under &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; knots should be fine, where &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; is a reasonable value determined by humourless scientists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2014-09-23T04:55:40.263" LastActivityDate="2014-09-23T04:55:40.263" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14869" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14871" CreationDate="2014-09-21T06:55:06.797" Score="12" ViewCount="39861" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 month old daughter seems to be drawn to wires. What can she eat instead that won't electrocute her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2023-01-26T14:16:32.320" Title="Why does my baby like wires, and what can I give her instead?" Tags="|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14803" CreationDate="2014-09-21T08:12:23.037" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;No drinks an hour before bed (or very little sips only), mandatory potty before bed, and keep the faith (calmly!).  I skipped the potty and bought a child toilet seat - works wonders for kids who feel more grown up. Lots of praise when he gets it right. And remember, boys are slower than girls - it took my boy until 3 to really get it right, just don't give up!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9810" LastActivityDate="2014-09-21T08:12:23.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14869" CreationDate="2014-09-21T08:13:06.823" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 7 months, she may enjoy the challenge of the dexterity required to pick them up successfully, as her motor skills are becoming finer somewhere around now. Why does she try to eat them? Because, first, that's one way 7 month old babies experience the world they live in (after all, putting food in her mouth is pretty rewarding; she wants to see what else is!) and second, it might be soothing to her gums if she's teething.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly this chewing on cords can't continue; childproofing is important. If she's teething, since she seems to like rubber anyway, a rubber teething ring might be welcome. Some people also give teething crackers. You can read a bit about it &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_teething-your-babys-first-teeth_11243.bc?page=2&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;also: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1050142/your-childs-teething-timeline&quot;&gt;teething timeline&lt;/a&gt;; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_childproofing-around-the-house_460.bc&quot;&gt;childproofing&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-21T08:13:06.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14872" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-21T13:29:50.193" Score="3" ViewCount="258" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is almost 3 years old now. Compared to my neighbour's son who is only a month older, my son seems to have slow development. The neighbour's son is able to speak just like the parent. He can do counting, logical thinking (if a then b will happen.) It seems that my neighbour's son has advanced cognitive development. On the other side, my son is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Still having trouble in communicating. If there is a three syllables word, he usually only can say the last syllable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A very sensitive person, it seems that he is a moody person&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Still often use his left hand rather than his right hand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The one I like is he likes to play kind a lego toys. He likes to build anything, but used to get angry by himself if he fails to build it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He likes music very much, when he hears music, then he will dance automatically&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I worry about my son development?&#xA;I read an article that described Roger Speery's findings about right and left brain. Perhaps my son is right brain dominant?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is true, based on this article, he might face problems following along in common school which is dominantly for left brain kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I right to be concerned, and is there something I should be doing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1122" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2014-09-21T19:40:50.457" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T15:57:12.910" Title="Should I worried about my son's development? Or maybe my son's right brain is dominant?" Tags="|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14861" CreationDate="2014-09-21T15:52:02.607" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless there are special considerations that you neglected to mention, this sounds like a bad idea. You're essentially making the younger sibling skip a grade with no good reason. Furthermore, the younger sibling's work will be forevermore implicitly compared against the older sibling's work, no matter how hard you try to avoid making those judgements. The two effects would combine to make an awkward situation, especially for the younger one, who has to live up to higher expectations despite a younger age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2014-09-21T15:52:02.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7299" CreationDate="2014-09-21T19:49:04.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gluten absolutely passes through breast milk. Many doctors and the medical community at large are not up on what gluten is and how it affects us all. After thousands of dollars and allergists and gastroenterologists in a 60mi radius from our house a naturopath suggested gluten and dairy free for my mom diet to help my 8 mo old. It worked like a charm. And although the diet is complicated it didn't mirror the anguish I felt as a mom trying to help a helpless child that could not communicate how she felt. I had to just watch the list of ailments and try and self diagnose. Gluten free was a miracle in our house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9812" LastActivityDate="2014-09-21T19:49:04.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14875" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-21T22:19:16.947" Score="1" ViewCount="14991" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little one just turned 2 months old. When swinging in the swing or when I am rocking him he likes to be swinging fast and rocking fast...I don't mean normal fast he likes to go FAST! Is this normal and why do you think he might like this? He cries until I go fast and then settles right down. I am not sure why. He does seem to have colic and cries more than the average baby. Any one have this happen with their child??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9813" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T22:57:58.767" Title="Fast swinging or rocking" Tags="|infant|behavior|development|crying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2014-09-28T20:07:42.847" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4728" CreationDate="2014-09-22T00:14:09.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter picked her belly button until it bled and we use band aids. Pretty sure it won't cause body image issues. Everyone seems to be insane on this topic. It's one thing to discover it but if it's irritated and raw from that yes you should stop them from messing with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9814" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T00:14:09.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14838" CreationDate="2014-09-22T02:35:40.430" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't push your wife to call your dad. Apologize to your wife for not doing it earlier, and do it now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you speak to your father, don't hash over the past, but tell him in a way that does not invite discussion why you have decided to do what you've done, how it's helped, and that you will be following this plan in the future. Then switch to conversation to something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your father isn't entitled to this explanation, but you can use it as a way to close out this dispute with a firmness that will avoid future problems of this kind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T02:35:40.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14867" CreationDate="2014-09-22T07:10:28.853" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Blowing on the face is a common trick. It triggers a reflex to hold the breath for a short moment. That stops the crying, and can also be used when washing the child's face etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not aware of any consequences of this, neither positive nor negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T07:10:28.853" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14861" CreationDate="2014-09-22T13:17:28.397" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in the same geometry class with one of my sisters when I was 15 and she was 14.  I was in the same band class with my other sister when I was 17 and she was 14.  At those ages, it was neither an advantage nor a disadvantage for me.  We didn't sit together in class, and if we did, we wouldn't have been allowed to talk in class anyway, the same as any other pair of kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the geometry class was extra stressful for my sister, because that subject came so much easier for me.  It's easier to brush something like that off if a stranger is outperforming you.  I was able to tutor her sometimes, but I think if you ask her honestly, she wouldn't care to repeat the experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We homeschool our children (ages 4, 7, and 10), and teach them together quite a bit, despite them being 3 years apart.  It works very well for some subjects, like art, music, science, and history, and not quite as well for subjects like reading and math, although even there they can do mutually beneficial activities like my son reading aloud to his younger sister who doesn't read yet.  They have a great rapport, and it's truly wonderful to observe them learning together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine you are envisioning those sorts of cooperative opportunities for your children in your list of advantages.  You're imagining them sitting together, working together on assignments, bouncing ideas off of each other, helping each other.  You didn't mention their ages, but perhaps they already work this way together at home, which is why the idea appeals to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not trying to rag on traditional classrooms, which have their own set of advantages, but traditional classrooms provide shockingly few opportunities for cooperative work.  Everyone is expected to earn their own grade separately.  We did a little over a year of public school for my son, who is extremely social, and it was very difficult for him to sit right next to other kids and yet be expected to work independently.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his sister had been in the classroom, it would have been even more difficult, and I imagine the result would be the teacher separating them.  In a situation where the kids are academically mismatched, that separation would be even more likely.  That lack of opportunity for social, cooperative work is a major reason we pulled him out of public school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, the advantages of having your kids learn together far outweigh the disadvantages, but classrooms are not typically structured to enable those advantages very well.  Before you do it, you would have to make sure your children's teacher and the administration are fully on board with your reasons for doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T13:17:28.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14867" CreationDate="2014-09-22T15:18:16.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From some googling around, yes, it is safe &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.circleofmoms.com/after-pregnancy-babies-and-infants/blowing-in-baby-s-face-to-stop-crying-739076&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;[1]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycenter.com/post/a22978615/blow_in_babys_face&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;[2]&lt;/a&gt;. BUT there is a caveat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever you blow air (either through the mouth or the nose), some particles from these cavities are carried by the exiting air.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always some flakes of dry nose secretion are expelled when you breathe through the nose, more if you breathe heavily or sneezes. (that is why some jurisdictions require cooks to wear surgical masks covering both nose and mouth).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always some saliva droplets are expelled when you blow air through the mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when you blow air at the baby's face, you will always have some saliva being sprayed on the child. &lt;strong&gt;And this saliva will carry samples of whatever is in your mouth microflora, bacteria or food particles.&lt;/strong&gt; (that should be avoided, but is not all bad - because having contact with the bacteria will stimulate the baby's immune system; just make sure baby is healthy and well-fed AND parent is not currently diseased). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drying your mouth before that will reducetthe amount of droplets, but your saliva glands will produce more instantly because the dry mouth triggers the gland's activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking &lt;strong&gt;REALLY&lt;/strong&gt; good care of you oral hygiene is paramount for the child's safety and health. That applies to kissing too. Also its a very nice habit for the child to acquire by example. Let the baby see that you are brushing your teeth (and enjoying doing that). - And keep the dental hygiene stuff away from his reach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do not do this if parent is currently under a respiratory or airborne/saliva carried disease. &lt;strong&gt;Absolutely no infecting babies for the sake of making them stop crying.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9819" LastEditorUserId="9819" LastEditDate="2014-09-22T17:06:00.550" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T17:06:00.550" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14872" CreationDate="2014-09-22T15:57:12.910" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You got some good answers in the comments, so I am summing that up here and adding a few comments of my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Torben nailed it in the comment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Without going into the details you describe, keep in mind that all children are different. The other kid may be ahead right now but in half a year it can be other way round. Don't compare with others; there are a million factors that contribute to differences. Just look at each child separately. If your son is happy and healthy, that's great&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your specific issues:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have you considered his hearing? A friend of mine had a 4 year old who had such a hard time communicating. They figured out she had reduced hearing (enough to react to loud noises and stuff, so they didn't discover it when she was a baby). It made it hard for her to hear how words were pronounced, so she had a hard time speaking. Some work with a speech therapist and hearing aid helped that - she has no issues now. You might want to check your son's hearing. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some people are moody, and I also noticed that my 3.5 year old who generally has a sunny disposition is getting moody and whiney a lot more recently. I think it is a phase - he is discovering he can get moods, and how different things make him feel.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handedness&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;, 10% of the population is left handed. From everyone I know who is left handed, do not force your son to use right hand, he is better of using his naturally dominant hand. Once he starts using scissors, be sure to get a left-handed one. Many other things comes in 'handedness', such as baseball gloves and more. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This seems totally normal to me. In fact, wanting to build different things is definitely a step ahead of my 3.5 year old, who hasn't totally understood the freedom of Lego yet. Getting angry when things don't go your way is very normal, I see this in all toddlers I have met :). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Seems normal. Some kids enjoy music more than others. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son may be right brain dominant, or he may not. He may just be developing differently than the neighbor's kid. As Torben said, don't compare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he gets old enough to go to school, you can consider if there are other options than traditional 'sit at your desk' schools if you feel that wouldn't work for him. Homeschooling, Montessori, Waldorf, small classroom size schools might all be options, but I don't think you can rule out that he will do fine in a traditional school yet :). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T15:57:12.910" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4639" CreationDate="2014-09-22T17:14:07.897" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This seat should not be used - Period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Car seats are designed to do two things, restrain the occupant by not deforming and absorb/transfer energy by deforming in a controlled way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seat is structurally compromised and will not perform correctly under load.  The area below the break will not deform correctly and will absorb less energy than designed (the remainder transferred to the occupant) and the area above the break will perform no function at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may have already been compromised and that's how it got broken but there is no way to know that for sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2014-09-22T17:14:07.897" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14883" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14884" CreationDate="2014-09-23T02:49:15.083" Score="3" ViewCount="720" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have gotten into a bad habit with our 3-year-old.  When he misbehaves, sometimes he bites or otherwise physically assaults one of us in frustration, particularly when we are telling him he cannot do something he wants to do.  We will then tell him he shouldn't bite, that it hurts, and then he'll laugh at us and act as if it's a hilarious game.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These aren't little bites or hits, mind you; they're very painful, and they often make the recipient quite stressed out.  Further stressful of course is the laughing and gamboling about.  This usually happens when he's a bit tired (and thus hyper).  We will then make some effort to take him to a time out, but it won't work; it will devolve to that parent having to physically restrain him to keep him from running around and ignoring us, which just leads to another biting or hitting incident, and the cycle repeats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're well aware that essentially none of this works, but we haven't been able to come up with something that does, and is reasonably doable during these times.  Our son is pretty mature and able to be talked to when he's not over tired, and normally behaves quite well; our discipline usually only has to be occasional time outs, and the worst thing he does on a normal day is complain too much that his screen time is over.  But when these incidents occur - probably 2 times a week - it's a completely different story.  Once we do get him calmed down - often after getting him to go elsewhere - he's able to understand that he shouldn't lash out in frustration and talk about it, but getting &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; that point is what we can't seem to do in a calm manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've discussed all sorts of options, and don't really like any of them.  We don't like having nonimmediate penalties (i. e., removing privileges), as he's just barely three - from what we've read (and seen) he isn't old enough to understand them.  We're considering star charts, but we don't have a lot of confidence there; the core of the issue is that he gets tired, either because he misses his nap (which he does fairly often, as he's not a good napper) or just because it's 7 or 8 pm.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should we consider to deal with these outbursts?  What works well with otherwise well behaved children who have lost control over their behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-28T12:29:28.580" LastActivityDate="2019-05-28T12:29:28.580" Title="How do we break the cycle of misbehavior when trying to discipline our 3-year-old?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|biting|hitting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14883" CreationDate="2014-09-23T04:32:21.630" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers this age (and younger) bite. That's just a fact. Most of them outgrow it fairly unceremoniously. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They bite for a number of reasons, three of which are 1) reaction, 2) attention, and 3) frustration. Usually this frustration stems from not being able to &quot;use their words&quot; to adequately express their frustration. To combat this, show him all the time how to use words (especially when he's well rested and receptive). Phrases like &lt;em&gt;I want...&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;You're too close&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;I'm angry...&lt;/em&gt;, etc. might help him; you can refine these as his vocabulary increases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, easier said than done, try to anticipate when he might bite, and distract.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that you should make the consequences immediate, and clearly understood. This might be over the top for some people, but when my 2.5 yr old son started to bite, I would try to startle him with a very firm and loud &lt;strong&gt;No bite!! Biting hurts!!&lt;/strong&gt; I would then sit him down on the sofa without toys while I made a fuss over taking care of my 'wound&quot;, giving him no attention, and making sure only that he sat on the boring couch. If it's someone else bitten, shower that person with an amount of attention. After things calm down, you might ask your child to bite himself in a clam way just to know how much it hurts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I vividly remember the last time my child bit. (none of my other children did it.) He wanted something and bit his playmate. I jumped up, took my child under my arm (carrying him on my hip like he was a roll of carpet) and marched him home without saying a word. I put him on the couch and said, &lt;strong&gt;NO MORE BITING!!!&lt;/strong&gt; and left him there until I had calmed down. Then we had the nth nite talk, but he stopped that day. I guess that was dramatic enough that he got the message.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a firm believer in time outs, and recommend the book &lt;em&gt;1,2,3, Magic&lt;/em&gt; to anyone who'll listen. It teaches the are of non-conflictual time outs, and rewards for good behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. This is usually just a phase. This too shall pass. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/challenging-behavior/chew-on-this-resources-on-biting.html#Why&quot;&gt;Zero to three: Why Do Toddlers Bite? Finding the Right Response&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/bothersome-behaviors/biting-and-hitting-16-ways-stop-it&quot;&gt;Biting and Hitting: 16 Ways to Stop it&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/aap-press-room-media-center/Pages/Children-Who-Bite.aspx&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-23T04:32:21.630" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14885" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-23T11:02:12.513" Score="61" ViewCount="17136" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler is about the right age to start enjoying Dr Seuss books, and I don't see anything wrong with them (I had one as a child which I loved). But my own mother (despite this) hates them, and so does my partner's mother (who's a speech therapist).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what's wrong with Dr Seuss? Is there a concern that these books inhibit speech or language development? Or are they just seen as too silly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9773" LastActivityDate="2021-01-03T01:00:19.480" Title="What's wrong with Dr Seuss?" Tags="|toddler|reading|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-23T11:36:37.837" Score="58" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I always saw them as actually helping the development of speech and language, in the same way practicing tongue twisters helps you improve. I have never heard of them being disliked or hated, and in fact a google search for any papers calling their usefulness into question returns nothing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's just my opinion though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Seuss&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt; has this interesting snippet:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In May 1954, Life magazine published a report on illiteracy among school children, which concluded that children were not learning to read because their books were boring. Accordingly, William Ellsworth Spaulding, the director of the education division at Houghton Mifflin who later became its chairman, compiled a list of 348 words he felt were important for first-graders to recognize and asked Geisel to cut the list to 250 words and write a book using only those words. Spaulding challenged Geisel to &quot;bring back a book children can't put down.&quot; Nine months later, Geisel, using 236 of the words given to him, completed The Cat in the Hat. It retained the drawing style, verse rhythms, and all the imaginative power of Geisel's earlier works, but because of its simplified vocabulary, it could be read by beginning readers. The Cat in the Hat and subsequent books written for young children achieved significant international success and they remain very popular today. In 2009, Green Eggs and Ham sold 540,366 copies, The Cat in the Hat sold 452,258 copies, and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish (1960) sold 409,068 copies—outselling the majority of newly published children's books.[47]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And some other numbers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has sold over 600 million books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has been translated into more than 20 languages&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr Seuss is pretty much a staple in the western world, and has been since the 1960s. I'd be pretty confident you're in a good place reading them with your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-09-23T11:36:37.837" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14887" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-23T12:40:49.203" Score="2" ViewCount="2210" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 6 years old and she loves to tell stories. However, she finds writing to be tedious. She does practice writing each letter and she can write words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am most interested in, is there any consensus about what is the most appropriate age for a child to start writing creative stories?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it is not about age but I should look for other milestones. I am curious what those might be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-09-23T18:38:44.230" LastActivityDate="2017-04-28T03:30:38.870" Title="How old should a child be to start creative writing?" Tags="|education|handwriting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14883" CreationDate="2014-09-23T13:08:46.793" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I mostly agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14884/7982&quot;&gt;anongoodnurse's answer&lt;/a&gt; (&lt;code&gt;+1&lt;/code&gt; from me), and would add: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Between 2 and 4 is the phase where children learn to deal with the frustration of not getting something they want, and where they can be very demanding, impulsive, and sometimes violent. However, that doesn't mean they are evil or mean. They just have to learn how to do that thing called &quot;society&quot;. For that reason, I wouldn't assume your son is laughing at you mockingly – he might just as well not know how to deal with the situation he caused and then tries to be friendly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially during this time it is very important to consistently encourage good behavior (e.g., being sad about not getting something is fine, comfort your child) and discourage bad behavior (e.g. throwing a tantrum is not fine, don't pay attention). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about the good and the stressful situations your family has gone through recently and try to find ways to deal with them in that light. And the next time you get into such a situation try to apply what you thought of. Remember that, in the long run, encouraging good behavior is more important than discouraging bad behavior. Give it a few weeks/months and then compare your son's behavior with his current behavior. If there's no improvement by then, consider seeking help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until then, remember the parental mantra: &lt;em&gt;It's just a phase.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T14:39:16.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-23T16:29:00.687" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Without any further input from your mother or mother-in-law, it's most likely that this is a case of opinion, rather than fact.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are certaily a few things to dislike about Doctor Seuss books - they are very silly, surreal, and disconformist.  If your two critics are very by-the-book rule-sticklers, then it may simply be a matter of opposing philosophies.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd compare the Seuss books with books that they &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; recommend to confirm this theory - it's possible there's some other unknown factor by which they are opposed to Doctor Seuss, but it sounds to me like whatever factor it is, it's of an opinion-based preference, rather than any problems with the material itself.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2014-09-23T16:29:00.687" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14890" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14909" CreationDate="2014-09-23T17:11:47.873" Score="7" ViewCount="836" Body="&lt;p&gt;This morning, I dropped my son off at pre-school, and he introduced me to one of his new friends.  He then, loudly, and right in front of this friend, proceeded to explain how this child &quot;gets upset all the time about everything&quot; and &quot;constantly complains&quot;.  While I don't know if this is true or not (my son has a tendency to fixate onto negative behavior in others to a sometimes obsessive degree), I don't believe it matters.  I simply want my son to understand that saying things like that are rude, and potentially hurtful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried telling him, on the spot, to stop saying those things, because they weren't nice, and he kept interrupting me to explain that it was true (&quot;but he does!&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that &quot;tact&quot; is a subject some people never fully master, so I don't expect my 4 year old to fully understand it immediately, but I would like to see what can be done to improve his basic understanding of the concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How normal is this behavior?  Is there anything I can do to curtail it, or, better yet, avoid it altogether?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T19:11:59.727" Title="How do I address lack of tact in a 4 year old?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14890" CreationDate="2014-09-23T19:05:12.107" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like fairly normal behavior to me, but I think you're doing the right thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At an early age, children might not yet understand when certain things aren't okay to say (That age is anywhere between 1 and 100, incidentally).  The best way to address this is on a case-by-case basis, letting them know why it's rude to say what they've said, and to remind them to be considerate of how others feel.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might take awhile, but it is important to be patient and remind him each time this happens.  The best way to teach a child good behavior is with consistency.  It may take years before these lessons sink in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and I almost forgot - when explaining this, use simple words and ideas.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2014-09-23T19:05:12.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-23T20:53:57.067" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure why the grandmothers would find them to be distasteful--You would probably be better off asking them directly for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do, however, discourage my own child's grandmothers from reading Dr. Seuss to my child. The reason has nothing to do with speech development or mental acuity, but because I find a number of the Doctor's characters to be poor models:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book 'The Cat in the Hat' runs through a rather detailed scenario in which the parent's rules are ignored, overridden, and pushed aside, only to have a magical &quot;hide it from Mom&quot; button pressed. I don't want my children behaving like that; If I have created a home rule, it was for a reason. If the child chooses to break that rule, I need them to be able to explain to me why they chose to break that rule, not to hide it. (They may have a very good reason to break it, I may need to change the rule, or perhaps the child needs to face consequence for his choices).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book 'Green Eggs and Ham' (a book I've learned much from!) has a character who refuses to try new foods by essentially plugging his ears and screaming. Again, I don't want this behavior modeled. A second character refuses to respect the dissenting character's desire. And again, I don't want this behavior modeled. If I choose to read this book to my child (and I do!) I want to be able to explain to him why Sam-I-Am or... Mr. NO (whatever his name is) is behaving like this, and how to handle one's self and others in similar situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(There are MANY more Dr. Seuss books, some of which I leave on my son's shelf, others which I don't find the benefit in keeping, at least not at his current age, nor at mine.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In short&lt;/strong&gt;, I find the education in some of the Dr. Seuss books to be a negative education, rather than a positive one. And there are so many positive educational books out there (even silly and/or surreal ones!) that I we don't have time for The Cat in the Hat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder if the Grandmas aren't responding to that fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9832" LastActivityDate="2014-09-23T20:53:57.067" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8824" CreationDate="2014-09-23T22:32:37.090" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;He apparently knew how to go potty from the beginning and if he is looking at you and intentionally peeing in his pants when he knows he is not to then its time for more then just a time out. I know your not supposed to be negative about every accident but this is kind of different . Maybe you should try swatting him a few times. It doesn't even have to be that hard just enough to get his attention. With that being said we all are peeing and pooing in the toilet. He will learn don't worry &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9835" LastActivityDate="2014-09-23T22:32:37.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-23T22:45:19.647" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few of his later books showed more of his liberal leanings and that irked conservatives.&#xA;I'm not saying it was bad, just that it shown through more in the end.&#xA;&quot;The Butter Battle Book&quot; is probably the best known - and with an ambiguous 'ending'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW - I was a well behaved kid as is my child and we both grew up on Dr. S.&#xA;At that age, the words are more important than the characters' behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9836" LastActivityDate="2014-09-23T22:45:19.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-24T01:45:48.240" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that neither Seuss hater offered any reason why and you might just ask them to be specific, especially the therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seuss was my favorite, and I recall having the full set as a toddler. By the second grade I was at a measured 8th grade reading level. Not implying cause and effect, of course, I just would say that these books didn't ruin me. The made up words were funny, and the rhymes made the books easy to read. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With so much cartoon violence out there, I'm not too concerned about the bad lessons one might pull from these books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, the key thing, in my opinion, is to offer a variety of books, and read with your children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3706" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T01:45:48.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14898" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-24T02:19:36.137" Score="1" ViewCount="59" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I are planning on conceiving a child in the next year and were wondering what types of things women should do to prepare their bodies for pregnancy?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are wondering about vitamins, foods, activities, books, and any other resources that could help.  I am 31 years old, in average shape, and am in a secure job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9838" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T02:19:36.137" Title="How does a woman prepare her body before becoming pregnant?" Tags="|health|food|activities|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2014-09-24T15:46:37.843" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-24T03:04:24.207" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As previously cited, a lot of people around the world enjoy the works of Dr. Seuss, including you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But then there are those two outliers who have a different opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, when you asked, &quot;What's wrong with Dr. Seuss?&quot; you centered yourself with the outliers.  You abandoned your own opinion of his work in favor of theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is: &lt;em&gt;Nothing&lt;/em&gt; is wrong with Dr. Seuss.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I think your real question is, &quot;What's wrong with my mother and my partner's mother for not liking the works of Dr. Seuss?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do you suppose you sided with them and avoided centering the question around them?  I'll leave that for you to ponder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting in-laws to agree on anything is indeed a conundrum.  That they both agree on something as (relatively) benign as Dr. Seuss is perplexing.  After all, there is so much more in the world that directly causes permanent damage to young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps their issue has nothing at all to do with Dr. Seuss.  He may just be convenient.  Maybe they blame him for their unrealized dreams?  If my younger daughter grows up to be a bookworm who never sees the light of day and spends her whole life casting spells, riding brooms and never brushing her teeth, J.K. Rowling will have earned her share of the blame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You sound like a young parent, so I'll let you in on a little secret: parents lie.  You might ask them - but keep in mind that the cat in the hat could just be a red herring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As for teaching reading: use your laptop or a tablet, make a bunch of&#xA;  slides (PowerPoint, or images) - white slides, red letters, Arial&#xA;  Rounded font, LARGE type - as large as you can make it - fill the screen.  One word per&#xA;  slide.  Use common words - words the child hears every day (cat, dog,&#xA;  banana, whatever - no pictures, just words).  Sit with the child and&#xA;  go through the slides, encouraging the child to say the word loudly,&#xA;  as loudly as the kid wants to.  Point at the first letter and move&#xA;  your finger across the word, slowly enunciating it.  Back and forth&#xA;  through the slides, then forward, back up one or two, forward again,&#xA;  etc.  Then randomly.  Add a word or two every day.  Within a week or&#xA;  two, your child will be reading anything and everything.  My girls&#xA;  could read at 3.  By the time they got to kindergarten, they were&#xA;  reading at the 5th grade level.  By the 5th grade they were untestable&#xA;  by the school system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9839" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T03:04:24.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14818" CreationDate="2014-09-24T05:27:58.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guess is that your child will do fine.  It takes effort to lean to speak, and up to now, understanding German has been enough.  Daycare for the first three years does not exactly make a lot of linguistic demands on a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a son who largely refused to speak his (only, native) language until well after the age his older brothers had.  There was simply no need--he had three brothers, very close in age, that could anticipate/interpret anything he needed to communicate.  When it got to the point that he wanted to express more complex things, he started talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know of plenty of people who learned the language of their guest country by simply being sent to school starting at kindergarten.  Your child will be well ahead of that due to the huge advantage of all the immersion you're providing him by putting him in German daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has learned to speak two languages and understand a third, I think it incredibly unlikely that he will have trouble learning to speak the third, when it actually becomes necessary to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is not yet confident speaking German.  Therefore, he only speaks it softly, and doesn't do it in front of groups.  Nothing surprising there.  As long as no one is doing anything to cause him unnecessary anxiety about it, my guess is that he will at some point just start talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7526" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T05:27:58.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14902" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14910" CreationDate="2014-09-24T05:32:32.160" Score="3" ViewCount="8197" Body="&lt;p&gt;Considering:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8027/in-what-way-does-reading-story-books-to-babies-help-them-besides-falling-sleep&quot;&gt;In what way does reading story books to babies help them (besides falling sleep), and at what age should it be started?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8050/how-to-motivate-yourself-to-read-stories-to-a-kid-whom-you-know-cannot-understan&quot;&gt;How to motivate yourself to read stories to a kid whom you know cannot understand and respond accordingly?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid is 15 months old.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The kid is hyperactive - always keeps on running around, picking things and throwing them down, and constantly babbling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that I have bought story books with lots of text and no pictures for her. Intension is to let her &quot;hear&quot; the story and thus get her language improved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to get rid of the child is to start talking to her or start telling her stories. The moment I start, she turns away and starts minding her own business. She is not least interested in hearing when I talk about my day at office etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I bought big story books with big pictures and little text. The kid was definitely interested - in grabbing the book and tearing it off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to deal with the toddler who is not least interested in listening to the stories I read or listening to my talks?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T15:45:20.750" Title="How to deal with the toddler who is not least interested in listening to the stories I read or listening to my talks?" Tags="|toddler|books|habits|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14903" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14905" CreationDate="2014-09-24T07:38:57.960" Score="5" ViewCount="4474" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, age 4 (in two weeks) went to kindergarten this year. Not even a month has passed, and he's been ill twice. The first week was fine, the second - he was coughing a lot and had a runny nose. A barking type of cough. He stayed home for a week and then went back on the third week. And on Saturday he began coughing again, so is staying at home this week too. Now, I know that children in kindergarten catch colds more often, but &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; often? We have friends with kids who go to kindergartens and our son gets ill more often than the others, hands down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I guess, my question is: is that normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3260" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-24T15:46:05.320" LastActivityDate="2017-01-21T16:18:48.957" Title="How often is it okay for a kid to become ill in kindergarten?" Tags="|pre-schooler|sickness|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14902" CreationDate="2014-09-24T08:05:19.893" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like pretty normal 15 month old &quot;GOOD LORD I CAN MOVE MYSELF THIS IS AWESOME&quot;, but if it's truly looking out of control, you might want to consider talking to your paediatrician, just as a check. I think we do have a few questions on hyperactivity on the site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the reading goes, children generally want to mimic their parents. My daughter's seen me and her mother read, so she wants to read. If reading is only a thing you can or want to do with her, make it a &lt;em&gt;special&lt;/em&gt; thing. One thing to try is to pick your moments. Read when she's tired and looking to settle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd definitely recommend the proper &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=baby%20board%20books&amp;amp;safe=active&amp;amp;hl=en-GB&amp;amp;biw=1006&amp;amp;bih=685&amp;amp;source=lnms&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=BuUiVMyGPIHR7Qb6qIGADA&amp;amp;ved=0CAcQ_AUoAg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;baby board books&lt;/a&gt;&quot; (aka &quot;every page is a cardboard slab&quot;) books while she's still in the &quot;crush kill destroy&quot; phase that all our precious little angels go through, if nothing else because books are expensive items. Also, tape. &lt;strong&gt;Few children's books are so damaged that clear tape can't reassemble them.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/4539/147&quot;&gt;We do have another question regarding exactly this issue&lt;/a&gt;, but it sounds like your daughter's still at the &quot;meh, broken, NEXT&quot; stage. I would keep the books around though, my daughter is now aware she broke some of her books when she was little, and is more careful as a result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, make sure the books are short, and try and find ones that have pictures of the stuff your child is already interested in. My daughter's dinosaur obsession has allowed us our choice of reading material, and she'll happily sit for ages if we're allowing her to roar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T15:45:20.750" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14903" CreationDate="2014-09-24T08:28:35.263" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I've heard from friends and acquaintances, it's pretty normal that a kid going to some kind of organized childcare (kindergarten, school, whatever) for the first time will get ill more often than usual; the reasoning behind this is that due to the many kids in one place, it's also easier to get viruses transmitted. The immune system of a kid who hasn't been exposed to such surroundings before will need to play catch up to build a defense against the most common viruses, and that often means getting a cold first. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about him having caught two colds, but if you are worried, I would of course consult a doctor, but also inquire at the kindergarten what their experience is with new kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T08:28:35.263" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-24T10:29:38.560" Score="193" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's wrong with Dr Seuss he asked?&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;To find an answer, I've been tasked.&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;His books on cats are widely read,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In libraries, schools, or just in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it because he writes such blubber&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;that turns a child's tongue into rubber?&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;Nonsense words and silly rhymes&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;Confusing children at bedtimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or maybe it's the politics&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;Of chicks on blocks and clocks on bricks?&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;Perhaps they're reading too much in&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;To books designed to make kids grin?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe they didn't have enough&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;Of Seuss' funny childrens' stuff?&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;It gave them hurty-wurty brains&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;To read that book &lt;b&gt;&quot;again, again&quot;&lt;/b&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr Seuss, the politician?&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;The silly rhymes? The repetition?&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;I've always thought these books were fun.&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;I don't know why; go ask your mum!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastEditorUserId="6511" LastEditDate="2014-09-24T19:40:27.990" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T19:40:27.990" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14869" CreationDate="2014-09-24T10:56:42.333" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Spaghetti, linguine, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fruit-bowl.com/peelers/&quot;&gt;fruit peelers&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/String_cheese&quot;&gt;string cheese&lt;/a&gt;, chives, and noodles all seem like reasonable substitutes for wires.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T10:56:42.333" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14902" CreationDate="2014-09-24T13:34:44.473" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 15 month old not only cannot read, but doesn't yet know that those black marks on the paper are words, or that what you are saying is somehow controlled by what is on the paper. This is something they need to learn, and they learn it in modern society through picture-only, no-text books. These are typically heavy cardboard so the toddler doesn't wreck them on first touch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You open the book, show a picture of something the toddler knows (a toy, a car, whatever) and say its name, usually in a very excited or demonstrative tone. You let the toddler take the book and turn to another page. You say what is on that page. It can take a long time for the toddler to understand this super abstract concept - see a representation of something I know, say the name of the thing - and this stage, as you're seeing, really can't be skipped. When the toddler says what's on the page (even if they're just copying what you said 2 seconds ago) you get all excited and say &quot;yes, cat! It's a cat! Good! Cat!&quot; and then turn the page or encourage them to turn the page. You might get less than a minute at a time before the toddler throws it or just gets up and runs off, which is cool, it will last longer as it becomes more predictable (and interesting on a different level) for the toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can continue to tell stories, sing songs and so on, but you won't get to &quot;let's sit down together so I can read you a story&quot; stage by starting there. You have to teach the toddler what a book is and how it works. This will take patience, but try to stay positive. Don't say &quot;a story is a great way to get rid of this kid&quot; - instead, try &quot;I need to find something simpler to share so that the kid will care&quot; - no 15 month old ever has wanted to hear about your day at the office. But &quot;oooh! ice cream!&quot; (or whatever you know excites the toddler in real life) while pointing at a picture of it might be a little more riveting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T13:34:44.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14890" CreationDate="2014-09-24T14:09:37.470" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;When your child rebuts you that his statement is true, you simply need to point out that's not all that's required. The usual guideline for adults is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gossip about a classmate fails the second two tests. Tattling can be considered ok under certain circumstances (are you telling me to get someone into trouble, or out of trouble?) which you can look at as the second and third tests again, since it's kind to save someone from doing something truly awful by getting an adult involved, even if the someone in question may get in a little trouble as part of getting saved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child may be a little too young to know all the cases where &quot;necessary&quot; comes in to play, but can certainly understand some cases where idle gossip is completely unnecessary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well as addressing the immediate concern (why what is being said is rude, and how to know when to refrain from saying rude things) you might want to tell your child he is welcome to still tell you those sorts of things later, in private. You can learn a lot about your child's worries and concerns by what they report about other children. But I agree with you that the announcement in front of the child in question was rude, and your child can learn not to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T14:09:37.470" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14902" CreationDate="2014-09-24T14:45:42.850" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fifteen months is early even for 100% picture books.  It's far too early for understanding a storyline - it's too early for the level of imagination capable of understanding that there &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be such a thing as a story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most fifteen month olds aren't interested in books except as a very short and quick interaction with daddy/mommy.  They probably aren't capable of saying words on the page yet - that's possible, but most do that closer to 18-20 months.  My eighteen month old just started going through his book phase, and my older son did the same at that age.  But even then, it takes months to learn to read the book in order and not just flip around.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They haven't even really learned to identify pictures on the page with real objects yet, after all.  It's not much before fifteen months that they learn that the baby in the mirror is themselves, after all; how should one expect them to learn a picture of a car is a real car?  Hence the lack of interest in even picture books - they're just not 'real' to them until they hit that stage of development, usually around 18 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At fifteen months I'd be happy with just getting comfortable with sitting on my lap and holding a book, and anything beyond that is a bonus.  It sounds like you're really focusing on education, which is good, but fifteen months isn't the time for this sort of education.  Social interactions and gross motor skills are mostly what's needed at this point; she will pick up language just from your talking to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I recommend you pay attention to your child's wants and tendencies more.  Rather than having some idea and asking why she won't do something, see what she does like and does do, and do that.  Responsive parenting is key, especially in the first few years; when I stopped pushing an agenda with my older son and started rolling with what he enjoyed, my life got a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; easier, and it's worked very well with my younger child.  I'm still making sure he has lots of opportunities to learn - but I'm going to the science and industry museum instead of the aquarium, because that's what he enjoys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-09-24T14:50:56.270" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T14:50:56.270" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14911" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14913" CreationDate="2014-09-24T18:59:54.063" Score="3" ViewCount="4961" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are currently debating whether or not we should move out of our large 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment (1050 square feet/98 m&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;) and into a house.  We do not want to move because we live in such a great area and houses in our area are out of our price range.  What are the major challenges that we should consider before we try to raise 2 children in our apartment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9849" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-09-25T11:29:14.343" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T23:20:07.763" Title="What challenges exist in raising a child in an apartment?" Tags="|safety|parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14862" CreationDate="2014-09-24T19:02:01.630" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems like your son wants to have sex with women without committing to them emotionally, socially, or exclusively. Basically he wants to have his cake and eat it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore it seems like he hasn't gone to you to see if this is something right or wrong, but to see how he can continue doing it without suffering any negative consequences. You should tell him that, even if he doesn't mean to hurt anyone through his actions, sex is a powerfully connecting thing for at least 1 person involved and a revolving door of sexual partners will almost certainly result in emotional scars and heartbreak, either for him or the women.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Friendship is also a two way street. Even if your son is totally honest, tactful, gentle, and kind to this girl she may still feel hurt by staying in the &quot;friends with benefits zone&quot; while he's having sex with other women. But maybe she won't and it'll be your son that's hurt. That's the risk that friends with benefits take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What kind of advice would you give to your son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;~~~~Opinion Alert~~~~&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm different than you, so I don't see how knowing what I would tell me own children could help you if you have a fundamentally different view of the world, morality, sin, and God. If it were my son, I'd tell him that I love him so much and that I will always want the best for him, and that this idol of sex will eventually disappoint him and may even leave him permanently scarred.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; would tell &lt;strong&gt;my son&lt;/strong&gt; that &lt;strong&gt;my view&lt;/strong&gt; of truth is that sex was something that was &lt;em&gt;designed&lt;/em&gt; to happen between a man a woman that are exclusively, totally, emotionally, physically, financially, and lovingly committed to one another for the rest of their lives. Any kind of sex outside of that committed relationship is ultimately damaging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T19:02:01.630" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14911" CreationDate="2014-09-24T19:26:04.837" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are the major challenges that we should consider before we try to raise 2 children in our apartment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I had our 1st child while living in a 750sq. ft. 2 bedroom apartment and our 2nd child while living in a rather large 3 bedroom house. We &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt; adapted to both. If you love your kids, you'll find a way to make it work in a 500sq. ft. studio--though you may need to get rid of some luxuries (big TV, big couch, etc...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, here are the things I considered most important:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ease of Access&lt;/strong&gt;: Getting your kids in and out of your home/vehicle can be the most stressful activity of the day. Living on the 6th floor can make this &lt;em&gt;absolutely miserable&lt;/em&gt;. Private entry is a God-send.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sound&lt;/strong&gt;: Will the neighbors keep your kids up? You will scream bloody murder if you can't get your kids to sleep/eat because of someone else's noise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Space&lt;/strong&gt;: Crib, Pack'n'play, changing table, toys--and that's just &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; stuff.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Environment&lt;/strong&gt;: Kids need to run outside. You need to be able to stores quickly. Is that an option?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Is it worth it to upgrade to a house?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That depends on your tolerance level. No matter what, you &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; make it work out, it's just a matter of what you're willing to spend your money on. Your best bet is to find some friends who are in each situation (apartment and house) and see what suits you and if it's something you're willing to do. Gritting it out in an apartment now to get more cash may pay off later--but if your apartment sucks it might be worth the financial hit for some peace of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T19:26:04.837" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14914" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-24T23:20:31.277" Score="4" ViewCount="122" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to learn how to help my kid with school. I don't know how to motivate him to learn. He says he wants to make things (just like his Dad). I would like to start with basic skills, like ABC's and Math. What materials do I use? How do I learn how to teach?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9854" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T17:44:33.110" Title="What is good way for me to learn how to suppliment my child's education? is almost 5" Tags="|education|special-education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14911" CreationDate="2014-09-24T23:45:11.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something to consider in either situation-house or apartment-is lead. Lead can be found in paint, pipes, and bathroom fixtures (like the tub, for instance).  If you live in a newer apartment complex, or purchase a new home, this is not an issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you currently reside in an apartment, and lead is present (there are lead test kits available in most hardware stores) there may not be much you can do about it. Landlords are not required to remove it, and since encapsulation can be expensive, most won't do it.  Since it's not your property, you can't take measures into your own hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if you decide to purchase a home, and it ends up having lead paint, as a homeowner, you have the ability to remove or contain the lead hazard, but, for the same reason a landlord won't do it most homeowners won't either: because it is quite costly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that you aren't specifically asking about safety issues.  The other answer really covers everything else quite thoroughly, but I thought i'd add this bit since it doesn't occur to most folks until they have children, which you didn't when you chose your apartment.  I didn't have kids when I chose my 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath victorian double parlor apartment with an enclosed porch either, and ultimately it was the combination of the chipping lead paint around the beautiful original stained glass windows (which are made with lead came, by the way) and noisy neighbors (mentioned above) that drove me to purchase my own home. Believe me, it was tough, it was home to us for many years, but I'm glad I did it. Kids give you enough to worry about-your home should be a haven, not a hazard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-09-24T23:45:11.590" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14862" CreationDate="2014-09-25T02:19:21.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it were me I would tell him to be completely open and honest from the start about what he wants from the relationship and not to lead her on. As long as he does that then as an adult the woman involved is perfectly capable of making up her own mind about how she wants to take things forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may sound cynical but women, in my experience, are not delicate flowers that need to be protected from themselves and their own feelings. Also you cannot be responsible for someone else's happiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T02:19:21.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-25T04:25:18.630" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There should be some clarification. Do these people hate the &lt;em&gt;books&lt;/em&gt; that were written by Dr. Seuss, or books that were written &lt;em&gt;by Dr. Seuss&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they dislike the books as an extension of their dislike of Dr. Seuss, and/or some of the political views in the books, then the issue may be somewhat intractable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also the general political view taken in almost all his books, that of inclusivity, equality, and environmentalism that make many modern-day republicans object to them with varying degrees of vociferousness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one point, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_K._Mooney_Will_You_Please_Go_Now!#In_political_culture&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;he modified a copy&lt;/a&gt; of his &amp;quot;Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!&amp;quot; book replaing all instances of &amp;quot;Marvin K. Mooney&amp;quot; with &amp;quot;Richard M. Nixon&amp;quot;, which was then reprinted in a newspaper column.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://mediamatters.org/blog/2012/02/21/more-indoctrination-paranoia-fox-attacks-dr-seu/185141&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Fox News actually ran a piece&lt;/a&gt; objecting to the recent movie rendition of The Lorax because it was &amp;quot;trying to indoctrinate our children&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The wikipedia article on &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_messages_of_Dr._Seuss&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Political messages of Dr. Seuss&lt;/a&gt; is fascinating, if nothing else. The section on &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Seuss#Political_views&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;political views&lt;/a&gt; of his biography page is also quite interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's nothing I personally find objective, after all, we're all human, but I'm certain the more... &lt;em&gt;extreme&lt;/em&gt; end of religious fundamentalism would object quite vociferously, and that may potentially be the source of some of the dislike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I loved the books when I was a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9859" LastEditorDisplayName="user32345" LastEditDate="2021-01-03T01:00:19.480" LastActivityDate="2021-01-03T01:00:19.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14844" CreationDate="2014-09-25T05:57:57.537" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When your child is tired, h/she becomes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;grumpy,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;irritable, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;short tempered, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;argumentative, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cries more, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hits and/or grabs more, &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;whines&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;An important addition to this list is hyperactivity.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems counterintuitive, but the body has a neurohormonal stress response in order to adapt and stay awake. This physiologic response increases levels of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.child-works.com/documents/whythefussoversleep.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine&lt;/a&gt; .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is why children must have a consistent sleep schedule as much as possible. This will produce less of those stress hormones and stop him/her from being little monsters during their awake hours. For example, when we go to a weekly Thursday night gathering, our son becomes a handful for the next three days even if we put him back on the same sleep schedule the rest of the week for sleep between 7:30pm - 8:00pm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9753" LastEditorUserId="9753" LastEditDate="2014-09-25T06:15:48.700" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T06:15:48.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14914" CreationDate="2014-09-25T06:21:59.323" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not a full answer for an overall educational process. Just a single idea you might like to try...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get yourself &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hawkin.com/make-your-own-clock?CAWELAID=1919981573&amp;amp;CAGPSPN=pla&amp;amp;gclid=CLHJmrrb-8ACFVGWtAodjFcA3Q&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;one of these&lt;/a&gt; and build it together. (Don't buy it from that link though, you can probably find cheaper.) Lots of interesting things you can explain about gear ratios and pendulum length, and springs, and (for the bell mechanism) gravity. You can teach him to tell the time, and maybe do some simple modulo arithmetic (what time is it two hours after eleven o'clock?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or bake a cake together. Reading words from the recipe, and measuring things are useful skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure if you look around, there are plenty of other similar things you can do together to appeal to his interests (making things) while providing an educational experience along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T06:21:59.323" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2014-09-25T08:14:59.493" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personaly think we should loosen up. Kids shoud not be forbidden to use any words or da anything that they know (or don't know) that adults can do. I am shocked to think that this should be age specific. Don;t you think it could encourage it? You should be honest with your kids about swearing and everything as soon as if comes up. That way they are less likey to go wild with it later. Some kids, especially teenagers, like to rebell, and to be told NO is basically opening up an opportuntiy for them to do so. And if we don;t like hearing it, then why ask for it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you just remind me, what harm comes to a kid who swears within reason at no one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cami.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9864" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T08:14:59.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9129" CreationDate="2014-09-25T08:26:49.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh come on. If you don't tell him, you will never hear the end of it. What bad could happen? Yes. It is a bad word. Not appropriate for a 6 year old kid. Does it hurt them? No. Chose your battles, or you will have more...that's what I always think with my kids. I have 3 year old triplet girls, and all of them have asked about the f word, blame pre school, I suppose. But not one of them has said it once, never! I told them what the word was, I wrote it down for them, just like I do with any word, good or bad. I did say what it meant (call me a bad parent!) and they took it on board, no offense. And I said that it's not a nice word to say publicly, just like you wouldn;t do it publickly...huh? And I think that if I hadn't explained then, it would still be a n issue in the household. And it's not. &#xA;Just my two cents.&#xA;Cami :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9864" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T08:26:49.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14862" CreationDate="2014-09-25T13:27:01.603" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Disclaimer: I'll use the word 'relationship' in the general sense, encompassing any kind of relationship; I'll use the term 'exclusive relationship' to refer to, well, an exclusive, mutually agreed to relationship.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, let me recap. He told her he doesn't want to be in an exclusive relationship; he wants them to be friends, and he want to have sex with her occasionally, but also wants to be free to have sex with other women. So far so good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In return, she told him &lt;em&gt;&quot;that he must tell her as soon as he has something with someone else, and then she'll end it.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; This does not sound like she agreed to have a friendship with benefits; it doesn't even sound like she fully understood what he was trying to tell her. It sounds like she thinks they will have an exclusive relationship which will end the moment &lt;em&gt;&quot;he has something with someone else&quot;&lt;/em&gt; (and I'm not even sure what exactly she means with this term - the moment he has an interest in someone else? The moment he has sex with someone else? Does your son know?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he has asked for your advice, he clearly understands that there is a misunderstanding between the two of them, and from this misunderstanding springs his insecurity about how to proceed further. So obviously, &lt;strong&gt;the first step would be to go back to her and try to clear up this misunderstanding.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he succeeds in clearing up this misunderstanding, she will probably make the decision herself whether or not she wants to continue the friendship, and under which terms. If so, the case is solved and he can move on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the misunderstanding persists, or even if she says that she has understood but then continues to contradict this by other things she says (like what you quoted above), then your son needs to decide how he wants to proceed, and I'll try to describe the consequences that I think will be most likely to occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;should I try to make clear to her all the time, that we are not together, so when I actually meet someone else, the final punch in her face will be less brutal or should I say/act not related to this and one day surprise her with the news that I was with someone else?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;strong&gt;once your son did his utmost best to clear up the misunderstanding, her decisions are obviously her responsibility&lt;/strong&gt;. But as you have written above, your son actually cares for her, and doesn't want her to get hurt. &lt;strong&gt;Of course he's not responsible for her possibly making wrong decisions, but his actions will affect her, which in turn will determine the course of their friendship.&lt;/strong&gt; If she continues to send mixed signals and he continues to suspect that his and her interests aren't aligned, he needs to decide what is more important to him. His options in that case would very likely be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have sex with her, have sex with other women, and risk her getting hurt and end the friendship&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;decide that he values their friendship (without benefits) more than he values having sex with her, and seek out other women&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;agree to an exclusive relationship (which he's probably not interested in doing, and that's fine) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't actually think that it makes a difference whether or not he tries &lt;em&gt;&quot;to make clear to her &lt;strong&gt;all the time&lt;/strong&gt;, that we are not together&quot;&lt;/em&gt; - he needs to make sure he did his best to clear up the misunderstanding, but if she doesn't understand then, telling her every day won't make a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I really like her, if I have something like a one night stand with another girl, I don't want to lose her for that. What if I just keep it to myself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, this isn't that hard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him to imagine he has one night stands with other girls, and keeps it to himself. He might be able to hide it for a few times, but sooner or later he might have to lie about it. Does he want to be that kind of person? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as it stands now, she agreed to the (possibly not well understood) relationship between them under the condition &lt;em&gt;&quot;that he must tell her as soon as he has something with someone else, and then she'll end it&quot;&lt;/em&gt;. If he has a one night stand with another girl and keeps it to himself, despite her specific request, it means he's disregarding the terms under which they agreed to this relationship, and she has every right to feel betrayed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastEditorUserId="7088" LastEditDate="2014-09-26T10:56:52.903" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T10:56:52.903" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-25T15:37:35.527" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may seem like a detour but, firstly, let me start by saying that we taught our son to read using Dr. Seuss' books.  We first learned the alphabet.  Then we sat down for about half an hour each day with &quot;The Cat in the Hat&quot;, incidentally, and started spelling out each letter of each word.  I would then explain how each letter was pronounced using the phonetic rules (yes, the English language indeed has those!) I recalled from my English Grammar days; English is a second language to me so I had to memorize those when I was learning it which helped.  The first few days it took us half an hour to go through a couple of lines.  Within a week we could go through a whole verse with my son sounding out the words correctly and within a month, he was reading, slowly but surely.  Within a couple of more months he had moved on from Dr. Seuss' books and only needed to ask how the really tough words that recognize no phonetic rules are pronounced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, honestly, I have no idea how anyone would fathom that Dr. Seuss' books could impede learning how to read.  In fact, I would wager that the imaginative flourish they encourage far outweighs the perceived negative consequences that invented words may cause.  Life is not an exact science.  I don't see why literature should be different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the original question, I'd like to remind the OP that YOU ARE THE PARENT.  The grandparents are only accessories to the fact, if they so wish.  YOU are the one who should make decisions about your child's upbringing.  Grandparents may provide input that you are free to consider or discard at your own discretion.  Make no mistake, unless you completely relinquish parenting to the grandparents, it is YOU who bears the responsibility in raising your child in the manner you see fit and it is YOU who has the latitude to make decisions about their well-being.  It is YOU who will also likely carry the guilt or pride with the outcomes that are perceived to flow from that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point I am trying to make is to make an effort to divorce yourself from the grandparents viewpoints and really see them as input from the outside world, as welcome or unwelcome as you may consider them to be.  In the end, YOU make the call on what your child should read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, do appreciate the fact that grandparents are to be viewed as volunteers in aiding the raising of your child.  The do have a right to refuse to go along with your directions when the child is in their care.  By the same token, however, you do have a right to refuse to leave the child in their care.  Again, YOU ARE THE PARENT!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for anyone who would somehow deduce that Dr. Seuss' books may be damaging to young children, I would wager there are many other influences from the real world which would cause much more harm that you have very little to no control over whatsoever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are indeed scanning your child's environment that carefully for potential dangers, I would also suggest that you may be micromanaging their world and may be raising a &quot;hothouse&quot; child which would have a rough time adjusting to the realities of the outside world when the time comes for them to face it.  That moment will most certainly come, sooner or later, whether you like it or not, barring any calamity that I would not wish on any parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, the degree of control one has over their child's upbringing is often highly exaggerated.  Recall families that have more than one child where the children turn out quite differently, regardless of the fact that they are raised by the same parents even if the parents are quite consistent with their parenting approach across siblings.  The best you can do is try, to the best of your knowledge and abilities, not ignoring the fact that, at some point, children will start making their own choices in ways that may agree or, to your dismay, disagree with a lot of things you have taught them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get your panties in a knot and tell that to the grandparents, too!  There is hardly any certainty in this world and parenting is by far no exception.  Follow YOUR heart and don't let too many people muddy the water for you.  Otherwise, you will be attempting to live someone else's life and that has rarely worked out well for anyone I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9869" LastEditorUserId="9869" LastEditDate="2014-09-26T03:37:15.703" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T03:37:15.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14925" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14934" CreationDate="2014-09-25T16:16:03.853" Score="4" ViewCount="4921" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is reluctant to participate in a family meeting, before day one. While I will ask her, what kinds of objections do you anticipate she has? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has no background from me as to what this meeting is. Perhaps she has heard something objectionable about such meetings from friends or a school counselor. I will ask her, but it will help to anticipate some of her objections. She is 13 and sharp as a tack. She is my step daughter. With a less than stellar natural father. I know I need to get her to buy in. I am just looking for further ideas about what objections she might possibly have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect that part of it is the word &lt;em&gt;family&lt;/em&gt;. I think she is secretly reluctant to define us with the word family. She would of course not raise this objection openly. I suspect she also thinks that it will be a &quot;family lecture&quot; which is entirely different than my plan for such an activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems she has an objection to the term &quot;family meeting&quot; itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9870" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-29T12:17:08.103" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T18:49:58.910" Title="Daughter is reluctant to participate in proposed family meeting. What kinds of objections do you anticipate she has?" Tags="|teen|family-activities|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14887" CreationDate="2014-09-25T16:44:41.280" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start by having her tell you the stories and have you write them down. Leave space on each page for him/her to illustrate the book. Make it a multi day project. when there is any resistance, suggest you can continue another day. When you reach a point where there is enough pages to read bring it back to the child at bed time and suggest it as a bed time story to read. My daughters elementary school used to publish books by pasting completed pages into a notebook to try to give the finished product a sense of accomplishment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did not do any of this, by my daughter spends every day writing for about an hour (she is now 13). We did not directly encourage this but I have looked back and realized that I used to write my daughter stories when she was 5 and read them to her. I also made stories up at bed time, when I wanted to send her to bed with a story without the light on. I feel that she started writing (in part) because she saw me doing it. (It was also apart of the school curriculum.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school emphasized event order in stories at the age of 6 through 8 or so. That it was important to remember, or practice remembering the order of events in stories as a part of learning and development at that age. So, when the child is receptive, try confusing things a bit on purpose in regards to the time line of their stories to get them to be clear on event order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;** edit *&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After having just spent an evening with my own daughter who is 5, I must say... relax and be careful not to push too hard. I recommend my second idea of leading by example above and beyond my first idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9870" LastEditorUserId="9870" LastEditDate="2014-09-26T12:42:03.940" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T12:42:03.940" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14925" CreationDate="2014-09-25T17:22:06.323" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the sounds of it you have kind of set her up to not see &quot;family meetings&quot; in a positive light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it sounds like family meetings aren't a common occurrence at you house.  In your daughters mind this might translate into thoughts of &quot;Ok, something serious is coming.&quot;  Serious means something she will have to deal with, usually because it will be hard / involve change / be unpleasant / etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, like you mentioned in your question, she might see it as &quot;family lecture incoming.&quot;  Since she doesn't know what it is about, only that it is coming, this is a valid possibility for her.  Lectures are never fun.  No surprise this might put her off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, she doesn't know what it is about.  This means it could be about any one of a million things, from we are moving, to your mom is pregnant, to where do we want to go on vacation.  Going back to the previous two points, she probably isn't expecting anything good.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is to be about something good, she can't possibly be prepared for the meeting.  Suppose the meeting is about where should we go on vacation.  She either hasn't thought about where she wants to go, meaning the meeting will look like a waste of time (&quot;I haven't thought about it.  I don't know what I want.&quot; will lead to a meeting that amounts to &quot;Well think about it and come back later.&quot; and thus a waste.)  Even if she has thought about it (&quot;I want to go to Cancun&quot;) she may not have any research on what you could do there / how this could work / etc.  She also may not have any cohesive, well-prepared arguments about why you should go to Cancun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately this is a new experience for her and she doesn't know much about it going in.  This leads to fear of the unknown which means she probably feels safer by turtle-ing up and preparing her defenses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T17:22:06.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14914" CreationDate="2014-09-25T17:44:33.110" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;All kids that age are motivated to learn.  It's a hardwired part of being a human.  What they aren't necessarily motivated about is learning what adults want them to learn.  He will have plenty of time for formal academics like math and reading.  Schools cover that in depth and they start too early as it is.  The best thing you can do for your child is to help him explore his own interests, so he doesn't lose the motivation for learning he already has.  That's the part schools aren't set up to do very well.  At least not as well as a parent can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He wants to learn how to make things, so make things with him.  You're probably thinking he needs a whole lot of theoretical background in order to be able to start making things, but with a mentor, it's just as easy to do it the other way around.  You can gain a theoretical background by seeking to better understand a practical project you're building.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids were interested in making robots, but the kind of robots I could make were obviously out of their reach.  That doesn't mean we can't do other things that will lead them toward that point, yet still feel relevant to them.  Some of the things we've done that the kids loved:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://courseweb.stthomas.edu/apthomas/SquishyCircuits/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Squishy Circuits&lt;/a&gt;.  You probably already have some battery holders and LEDs in your junk drawer, and the ingredients in your kitchen.  The kids think they are playing with playdough, but they're learning the basics of circuits, resistance, and diodes.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sparkfun.com/categories/204&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;E-textiles&lt;/a&gt;.  These are great to learn about around Halloween time, for costumes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sparkfun.com/categories/226&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;EL wire&lt;/a&gt;.  Another great Halloween time project.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B00ECWSL0I&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;A littleBits Kit&lt;/a&gt;.  These have components you can combine with crafts to make interactive toys.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hexbug.com/nano&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;HexBug nano&lt;/a&gt;.  You don't build the robots, but you build a track for them.  They also have more advanced kits for older kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B00HN2BXUY&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Robot turtles board game&lt;/a&gt;.  The kids are programming a robot without the hardware.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let them observe and help me with a more complex project.  Kids that age can learn a lot just from being around you and asking questions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To you, these kinds of projects might seem like a poor substitute for what you're making, but they are right on your son's level.  You will be amazed at the kinds of intelligent questions he asks when he is excited about what he is learning.  You can also sneak in the subjects you want him to improve on.  My son has difficulties with math, but I can make him do math forever if he thinks it's important to a fun project we're working on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T17:44:33.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14925" CreationDate="2014-09-25T18:49:15.220" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you don't have family meetings very often, my guess is the previous two were announcing the divorce and the remarriage, even if they weren't called a family meeting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that, it's probably mostly a result of her not enjoying the anticipation, which is much more fun for the person in the know than it is for others.  Next time, it's probably better either to be up front about the agenda, or to just call the meeting for right then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to imagine the worst.  Her annoyance is pretty common for kids her age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T18:49:15.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14925" CreationDate="2014-09-25T21:38:54.570" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your comment &quot;define &lt;em&gt;us&lt;/em&gt; with the word family&quot; may be one of valid reasons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't fully define you with the word 'family', then even the symbolic act of explicitly structuring and naming various things as '&lt;em&gt;family&lt;/em&gt; something' is confrontational - it can easily be emotionally felt as pushing her to openly accept the definition you want (contradicting the current inner feelings) or requiring her to justify her opinion, which can also cause a natural defensive reaction.  Any nudging (even if not intended that way) her to analyze and define things that she might want to avoid thinking about is likely to feel as an unpleasant pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6818" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T21:38:54.570" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14925" CreationDate="2014-09-25T22:42:26.847" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem isn't &quot;family&quot;, it's &quot;meeting&quot;. Meetings without an announced agenda are generally a Bad Thing in business, and not much better in a family. And anything called a &quot;meeting&quot; is an immediate turn-off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heck, I don't know what you think a &quot;family meeting&quot; is, so &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; would be nervous about attending!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6977" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T22:42:26.847" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14875" CreationDate="2014-09-25T22:49:15.777" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's safe to say that ALL kids enjoy swinging and rocking.  Certainly it's a time tested way to help infants get calmed down and get to sleep.  In fact it's a recommended technique by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.happiestbaby.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Happiest Baby on the Block Book&lt;/a&gt; (which my the way has an extensive discussion on colicky babies - highly recommend this book for you).  The author says that swinging switches on a baby's &quot;calming reflex&quot;.  It's one of several techniques he advocates, so if you feel you're doing it too much, you might want to look at those.  Swaddling and lower back massages were my &quot;daddy tricks&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My two kids certainly enjoyed fast swinging and rocking when they were infants.  My daughter in particular loved fast swinging and spinning and rocking... like to an abnormal extreme; my son was more into being bounced and walked.  They both enjoyed being in a mechanical rocker, as well as more intense manual rocking.  The important thing to keep in mind with very young infants is that their brain, inner ear, neck muscles, and stomach valves are still under development, so if you're too aggressive or do it for too long of a period I suppose it could risk things like fainting, vertigo, vomiting, etc.  But I think so long as you're supporting their neck and don't tip them upside down, the baby should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen mixed opinions from doctors and other parents on whether the motion is helpful in developing the child's sense of balance.  I'm convinced it does, and felt with my own kids that it helped them be more active sooner, and walk earlier than average.  But who knows; every kid is unique and has unique needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now 3 years old, and after returning from Disneyland we asked what rides she liked the best:  &quot;I like the train that goes on the hills!&quot;  (The rollercoaster in Toon Town - the only rollercoaster she's tall enough to go on.  Once she learned such a thing existed, that's all she wanted to do, over and over again, like 15-20 times.)  Prior to that her favorite was the spinning tea cups.  So perhaps you and your son have this joy to look forward to!  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastEditorUserId="2849" LastEditDate="2014-09-25T22:57:58.767" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T22:57:58.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14911" CreationDate="2014-09-25T23:20:07.763" Score="1" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Sharing a Bathroom&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a two bedroom one bathroom apartment, you will have to share your bathtub and toilet with the kids. This may mean having to clean up bath toys diligently daily so you can shower. This may mean having to wipe down the toilet seat every single time you need to use it because a kids potty ring leaks on the seat. Child flushes a toy down the toilet? Now you have no working toilet until you get the toilet unclogged. These are all just minor inconveniences you might have to live with if you remain in a one bathroom apartment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Outdoor Play&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids need fresh air and playtime outside. Where will your kids play outside? With a house you usually get a private backyard that can (as your kids get older) be supervised from in the house. With an apartment, often you only get a tiny balcony. If you have a climber, you can't leave them on the balcony without careful supervision. If you have a 4 year old who doesn't follow directions and likes to lean over the edge of the railing, likewise. Not being able to go outside to play during his younger brother's nap was one of the hardest things for my 4 year old about apartment living. If kids play outside the front door or downstairs, you may not be able to see them to know they are playing safely, and depending on where you live, you may worry about your neighbors calling CPS to report unsupervised kids ;-). So there's usually less autonomy about being able to play outside. On the plus side, sometimes apartment complexes have kid-friendly amenities like pools, basketball courts, or play structures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Going in and Going Out&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bane of my existence. Getting the heavy groceries, a one year old who knows how to climb up stairs but not down, and the four year old all in the upstairs apartment without an assistant. Where to store your strollers and similar baby gear is another consideration. We had to pay extra to rent a garage to store our bikes and bike trailer so we wouldn't have to clutter our tiny balcony with them. We had to store our strollers in the trunk of the car at all times. Does your car have space for that? And should you have twins, bigger strollers! You may have to select different baby gear than you would otherwise to make apartment living more bearable. Like we opted for a 7lb baby bucket carseat instead of the 12lb model that would have lasted until 1 year instead of 8 months. Or selecting strollers based on weight instead of other convenience criterion like reclines and snack tray.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Square Footage&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Small apartment? Well, babies come with a lot of stuff. No, they don't have to, but you will find yourself constantly compromising between what you'd love to have and what you have room for. Child #1? Lets just skip the baby bathtub and put the baby in our lap for baths in the big bathtub. Child #2? There is no way I want to get undressed every time one of the kids barfs on himself to get in the tub. The other child will get in too much trouble. This sling seat for the big tub looks way more compact than a baby bathtub. So much bending and leaning though. Lets just get the baby bathtub that goes on the kitchen sink and sacrifice all of the counter space to store it... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But all things said, if the apartment enables you to be in a better location, or live within your means easier, maybe it's a better choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T23:20:07.763" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14925" CreationDate="2014-09-25T23:49:42.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first guess is she is expecting the worst. When people have good news they tend to tell it to you immediately. When they have bad news they call family meetings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second guess is that she thinks you want something from her. If you didn't she wouldn't need to be there. Now no matter how trivial you think your request is you have to remember she is 13. She probably doesn't like being told what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember when I was 13 (and honestly even now) the thought of someone telling me we were going to have a &quot;family meeting&quot; would make me cringe. I don't want to tell you what to do, but 13 is older than you think. It's around this age that kids start feeling like adults. Sometimes it's best to indulge them; how would you like it if your mother or father phoned you every week asking for a family meeting (Not trying to attack you, just trying to put you in her shoes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly as a step child myself, don't try to force family. I know it's tough when you want a relationship with another person and they just don't respond. I don't know if this is the case, but trying to force something is directly self-defeating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9882" LastActivityDate="2014-09-25T23:49:42.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-26T00:08:43.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I read Dr. Seuss as a kid.  We have them now for our kids.  But I generally try to avoid him in favor of other authors.  My Mom didn't like Dr. Seuss and I'm not a big fan either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's why.  First, his books aren't representative of the real world - nor do they even closely approximate it.  The very young children who his books are aimed at really need something more realistic.  I won't try to prove that thesis here; you can find plenty of discussion online.  Suffice it to say, children go through various developmental stages and when they really need to understand the real world more than anything, that's when adults tend to give them Dr. Seuss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, it disfigures reality.  When Dr. Seuss isn't making up pure nonsense, he misrepresents reality.  More than one of my children actually thought bees stung with their noses thanks to his absurd drawings.  While a little of his art is okay for me, after a while it makes me sick looking at it.  Too weird, and just not very good art - as you might find in books by Robert McCloskey for example.  MUCH better writing there too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The made-up words just make things worse.  Dr. Seuss seems to have resorted to fake words very often to make a rhyme, seemingly because he couldn't think of a rhyme with real words.  When we want our children to expand their vocabulary, wasting their minds on fake words is unfortunate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I don't hate Dr. Seuss, but I find plenty to object to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In response to another comment, I tend to lean rather conservative, and have never objected to Dr. Seuss politically or morally.  However, others' interpretations of him may be objectionable.  (I do agree with another poster, though, that some of the characters, such as the Cat in the Hat, are poor role models.)  I really love Dr. Seuss' line &quot;A person's a person, no matter how small.&quot;  How beautiful, and right in line with loving and appreciating others!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I tolerate some Dr. Seuss, I am much happier reading my children something like &quot;Make Way for Ducklings&quot; or &quot;One Morning in Maine&quot;.  (Yes, I realize &quot;Make Way for Ducklings&quot; anthropomorphizes ducks, but only somewhat, and the art is fantastic!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that answers your question regarding what someone might find &quot;wrong&quot; with Dr. Seuss!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9883" LastEditorUserId="9883" LastEditDate="2014-09-26T00:26:14.407" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T00:26:14.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14925" CreationDate="2014-09-26T04:03:14.623" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I were in her shoes, I would probably be wondering why do we have to have a &quot;meeting&quot;?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I find it hard to reconcile the two words together: &quot;family&quot; and &quot;meeting&quot;.  I am not commenting on your particular family, just expanding on the concept of the &quot;family meeting&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Families are supposed to have some cohesion and togetherness by default in whatever configuration they may be.  The need for a &quot;meeting&quot;, on the other hand underscores a separateness and formalized structure common in the business world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you need to get together and talk, just say so.  Calling it a &quot;meeting&quot; already puts a strain on the situation.  The term frames the event with formality in a space which is supposed to be at least somewhat free from the decorum requirements of the outside world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me also point out that decorum is usually a requirement in situations in which there is potential for power clashes - it simply sets up ground rules for conflict.  So, by calling it a &quot;meeting&quot;, you are, possibly unwittingly, communicating the possibility for conflict which you require to be resolved in a civilized manner.  Yikes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I would drop the &quot;meeting&quot; word altogether from your family vocabulary.  Families are where we are supposed to grow as persons, forming personal bonds with parents, siblings, etc. and &quot;meetings&quot; are hardly the vehicle to allow that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9869" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T04:03:14.623" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14937" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-26T04:06:19.270" Score="-3" ViewCount="433" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife wants another child. We have 9 already between us. Our oldest is 23 and youngest just turned 2. Our oldest made us grandparents in April and just found out that she's expecting again. I am going to be 63 when the youngest graduates high school. We each had 3 when we met and have 3 between us. Ages for all kids are 23, 22, 20,19, 17, 16, 7, 4, and 2.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9887" LastEditorUserId="9901" LastEditDate="2014-09-27T09:42:51.573" LastActivityDate="2014-09-27T09:42:51.573" Title="My wife wants another baby but we are already grandparents! Help!" Tags="|communication|family-planning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2014-10-02T12:41:43.230" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14937" CreationDate="2014-09-26T05:54:15.737" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having or not having children is an individual decision which should not be forced on another person; that is, you have a right (and likely many good reasons) to refuse to have any more children, and your wife has a right to continue having children - but not with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly that's a drastic solution that I do not recommend. You have children and grandchildren between you, and to separate would be tragic for so many people. But your wife cannot &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; you to have more children, any more than you should be able to force her to have children against her will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't imagine that you haven't talked about this. If you cannot work this out between yourselves, you should seek counseling to try to discover why it is so important for your wife to continue childbearing and child rearing, and what can be done about it. There is something driving your wife's desire, and it should be dealt with straightforwardly (with help).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T05:54:15.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14940" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14944" CreationDate="2014-09-26T10:36:38.620" Score="3" ViewCount="563" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why does TV/video aimed at young kids, say between 0-5 years, contain so much songs and music?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both the intro och the credits almost always contains a song and more often then not the characters sing a song or two as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do kids differ from us adults in that they appreciate songs more, or can they more easily understand/grasp a message that is singed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9892" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-26T18:24:29.210" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T18:24:29.210" Title="Why does TV/video aimed at young kids contain so much songs and music?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|television|music|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4797" CreationDate="2014-09-26T11:24:37.170" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I motivated my daughter to practice clarinet by playing with her. We got some duets and played together. Even now (20 years later) when she comes home we'll go in the cellar and do those duets again, loving every minute. &#xA;I suppose this is a bit tricky with a piano, but... there are tunes for four hands, right? And maybe he could accompany you (or his mates) singing some popular song?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T11:24:37.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14885" CreationDate="2014-09-26T14:10:04.760" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just to take an example&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Lorax depicts a lot of publicly owned land, unwittingly incorporating the tragedy of the commons, to which it misses the mark and ultimately blames what is tacitly implied as a Bourgeois Sycophant of Capital; igniting a class struggle narrative between him and a proletarian Lorax, when the real issue came down to homesteading property rights which did not exist in that universe, and to which would have given land owners an economic incentive to maintain the value of their land instead of strip mining it before someone else was able to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So unless you are keen on raising a child well versed in the epistemological folly that is dialectical materialism, instilling the fallacy of polylogism on your child, then I would say it is best to stick to a non-fiction work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is probably why your mother was against teaching your son Dr. Seuss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9898" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T14:10:04.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4797" CreationDate="2014-09-26T15:43:31.080" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a music teacher, I give the following hints:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that your ideas about what and how he/she should practice are in line with your teacher's.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if the child is younger than 8, he/she may just not be old enough to be deeply engaged. Ease up, until about 8 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you push too hard (how much that is is decided by the child, sorry) the child will resist, even if he/she likes practice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The real key is the habit of practice. Your job is just to get the child to sit at the piano and start. Not to monitor how long (or short). If the instrument and the lessons are engaging, the child will practice enough. The child's job is to practice the material that is being assigned in the lessons to the teacher's satisfaction. You can not really decide that for the teacher. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A great way to engage with the child and encourage practice is to assign the child to teach you how to play. Even if you know how, let them tell you. even if you think the child is wrong, be their student. Nothing teaches better than teaching.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have fun with your child every once and a while (bang on the keys with him and have fun).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you practice what he/she teaches you, he/she will become jealous of your time on the piano and want to/ ask to play. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a child will not take to it. It is not the end of the world. I wanted to play guitar and piano lessons seemed too rigid. Maybe a new teacher with a different style, or a different instrument, is called for instead.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9870" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-03T00:04:46.203" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T00:04:46.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14940" CreationDate="2014-09-26T18:22:56.747" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers and pre-schoolers do not have terribly long attention spans, generally speaking.  21 minutes (roughly the time of a half-hour show, minus commercial breaks) can be a long time for a kid to sit and follow uninterrupted dialog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to appeal to parents, shows targeting that age range will frequently try to work some sort of &quot;edutainment&quot; (entertainment that attempts to teach) elements into the storyline.  Most of these elements are presented in a way intended to be interactive: the characters in the show will ask the children to &quot;participate&quot; by providing advice (&quot;which animal hops?&quot;), physical &quot;assistance&quot; (&quot;put your arms out like wings and flap, so I can fly!&quot;), or repetition:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/CcxJI.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Bloom County&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short, easy-to-follow songs are another popular way of getting kids to &quot;participate&quot;.  They also are frequently used as mnemonic devices to help children remember mult-step tasks (&lt;a href=&quot;http://pbskids.org/daniel/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; is a good example of this, with songs about everything from potty hygiene to mechanisms for coping with frustration).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Theme music during opening and closing credits for a show is hardly limited to children's programming, but it is probably more important for children's shows than adult shows, simply because it makes it easier to grab a child's attention.  Kids that age usually don't tell time particularly well, so you are unlikely to be able to expect a child to remember that at 2pm &lt;em&gt;Dinosaur Train&lt;/em&gt; comes on, but as soon as that theme song starts playing, the child will recognize it even if they weren't paying immediate attention to the TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that children seem to enjoy singing the theme songs of their favorite shows, too, and can be surprisingly adept at memorizing the lyrics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I frequently sang some of the catchier songs from my son's favorite shows with him when he was younger, and he still likes to sing along with the songs for the shows he watches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some shows even go so far as to make the music available for purchase, so a good set of songs can increase the marketing potential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-09-26T18:22:56.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14946" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14974" CreationDate="2014-09-27T00:29:40.087" Score="4" ViewCount="629" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 3 y/o daughter. A few months ago her and I thought it would be best to try and work out our differences by moving into separates homes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then my daughter, now 3 who has always been a really good kid, has started acting out in ways than seems like regression. She is peeing on the floor, yet been potty trained for quite some time, hitting kids at day car, and throwing sand at other babies. It seems like an obvious sign of her stress with our separation, but I don't really know how to handle it. My wife I am brainstormed for ideas and came up with a few, but I wanted to reach out to the parenting community also and and for any thoughts, insights, ideas or suggestions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its not a problem about lack of discipline or she would always act like this. From my perspective this is a transitional problem and an overwhelming inability for her to cope with so many changes using regular methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some ideas we came up with:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set firmer boundaries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Connect with her more individually, when she is only with one parent, lots of one on one time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be attentive as she needs, give here extra guidance and support right now. Undistracted time and attention. (i.e. no tv, or work while we are with her)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can we prevent this?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help remind her of our expectations. be close when she is around the cat or people to help her do the right thing and physically stop her from hitting if need be. No kid wants to keep hitting or feel out of control. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;remind her to pee often or offer diaper if necessary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lots of patience, love, and empathy. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talk openly about changes to house and routine and how it's a hard transition. let her know she can feel sad, mad, scared and she is always safe with mom or dad and we love her unconditionally.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Verbalize what she can expect for the day (i.e. we will be together until after your nap, then you will go see mom.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;self care for myself and my wife to prevent added anger and frustration. She needs us to be as calm and loving as possible in order to feel safe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More time outside to get fresh air, sunshine, and play in the dirt.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to have more fun with her. laugh, play, lighten up a bit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any other ideas or suggestions? Thanks everyone in advance for taking the time to read this!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9593" LastEditorUserId="9593" LastEditDate="2014-10-06T10:04:54.337" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T21:34:21.737" Title="How do I help our 3/yo go through stress" Tags="|behavior|potty-training|toilet-training|transition|divorce|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14947" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15003" CreationDate="2014-09-27T01:53:40.360" Score="5" ViewCount="560" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some health risks specifically for children that an adult might not be so concerned with? I am looking for things I may have forgotten or never even known about that are much more harmful to young people than adults. Such as lead abatement which, according to the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/2502/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Department of Health&lt;/a&gt;, is an acceptable risk for an OSHA compliant worker but it is detrimental to the development of children to even be in the building during it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sprung from this question, &lt;a href=&quot;https://diy.stackexchange.com/questions/49094/how-can-i-get-rid-of-mosquitoes&quot;&gt;How can I get rid of mosquitoes?&lt;/a&gt; concerning the possible harm to children by the indoor use of a CO&lt;sub&gt;2&lt;/sub&gt; emitting device. Having no parenting knowledge myself, and many nieces and nephews who visit, I am wondering what other types of household risks I might be overlooking. I know they're more apt to scald themselves, the tank is set to a proper temperature. Ultimately, what things might be fine for us adults that we take for granted, but not children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9910" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-11T13:14:29.407" LastActivityDate="2019-03-11T13:14:29.407" Title="Dangers for children that adults might reasonably ignore themselves" Tags="|development|health|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14951" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14955" CreationDate="2014-09-27T15:15:06.547" Score="11" ViewCount="490" Body="&lt;p&gt;Growing up my parents had a system where harder chores like mowing the lawn, shoveling the driveway, and vacuuming meant that you got more money in your allowance every week.  It worked great for our family because my sisters didn't mind that I made more allowance since I was always outside on the weekend doing chores, and it taught me the value of hard work.  If my sisters were trying to save up for something they would jump at the opportunity to vacuum the entire house.  I think this system prepared me for the working world where those who work hard are rewarded for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But after reading &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1/is-bribing-children-with-cash-incentives-a-good-idea&quot;&gt;Is bribing children with cash incentives a good idea?&lt;/a&gt; it seems like there is an overwhelming amount of people discouraging this.  Am I missing something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9849" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T12:48:17.480" Title="Is rewarding hard work for chores with money necessarily a bad idea?" Tags="|money|reward|chores|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14952" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-27T17:09:13.987" Score="1" ViewCount="590" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10-year-old daughter. Apparently, one of her friends can go to heaven and talked with angels. Out of curiosity, she found out 'how' to be like her. It has been a year now, only now I realized that she has been going to heaven and talked with angels. Recently, there is a demon who wants to make friends with her. She is still thinking about it. I am concerned and wanted to get a pastor to talk to her. She said that her friend said that it is no point as 'only those who experienced it will understand'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I bring her back to reality?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9922" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-23T15:41:56.767" LastActivityDate="2019-02-23T15:41:56.767" Title="How to bring my 10-year-old, who is convinced that she can go to heaven, back to reality?" Tags="|development|teaching|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="14953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14952" CreationDate="2014-09-27T21:19:12.497" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems like this situation is really about your daughters relationship with her friend. Her friend has this game she plays, and your daughter plays the game with her and tries to be like her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she talks to angels or demons, does she say they tell her to do things she doesn't want to do? Does her friend try to get her to do things that they both know they shouldn't do? Is she engaging in anti-social behavior or suffering at school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, I wouldn't worry too much about the situation, but monitor the situation and be sure to keep a safe dialogue open with your daughter so that you'll know if the situation is devolving. The demon is a bit of a disturbing development in the game and I would be concerned that the children might begin to act out in negative ways, but that isn't certain. Maybe the narrative turns out to to be that the demon isn't really evil, just misunderstood and in need of the girls' help (you know, the old &quot;bad boy turns good&quot; story). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were my daughter, I would monitor her other behavior, keep her talking about the angels and demons, and see if she grows out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2014-09-27T21:19:12.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14951" CreationDate="2014-09-28T02:54:54.127" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that the question you linked (I haven't read all the answers) is about things which should be considered normal (sleeping in her own bed). Maybe the main objection (&quot;the child will become reluctant to do things if there are no rewards&quot;) can be mitigated by clearly defining what chores the child is expected to do normally (tidying her room, washing the dishes when it's her turn, whatever). For those, no reward when they are done (and possibly punishment when they aren't). The rewards would be for things above and beyond that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7953" LastActivityDate="2014-09-28T02:54:54.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6320" CreationDate="2014-09-28T15:03:15.647" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children learn to read by writing. Stop trying to teach her to read and instead teach her to write. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maria Montessori, &quot;The Secret of Childhood&quot; (1963): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“This was the greatest event to take place in the first Children’s&#xA;  Home.  The child who first made the discovery was so astonished that&#xA;  he shouted out loud: ’I’ve written, I’ve written!’ ... It was only&#xA;  after some six months that they began to understand what it is to&#xA;  read, and they did this only by associating reading with writing. &#xA;  They watched my hand as I traced letters on a piece of white paper and&#xA;  came to realize that I was communicating my thoughts as if I were&#xA;  speaking.  As soon as this was clear to them, they began to take the&#xA;  pieces of paper on which I had written something and carry them off to&#xA;  a corner and try to read them.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="356" LastEditorUserId="356" LastEditDate="2014-10-01T11:40:39.840" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T11:40:39.840" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2014-09-28T15:16:50.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even good kids are attracted to dangerous types. If you try to control him, you will just drive him toward the other kid. Rather, play along: &quot;so you played with Bad Bill today? How many hours of r-rated TV did you watch? Any violence in it? Sex? Drugs? What did you think of it? Was it pleasant to watch? How do you think the victims felt?&quot; That way you can show him respect rather than disdain, and turn the experience into a conversation about the things you think are wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="356" LastActivityDate="2014-09-28T15:16:50.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14947" CreationDate="2014-09-29T04:45:55.393" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are mostly at greater risk than adults because they are ignorant of dangers adults are aware of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adults know (or should know) not to run into the street, stick metal objects into electrical outlets, or poke badgers with sticks. They know not to eat paint chips, chew electrical cords, or wrap blind pulls around their necks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also true that adults' greater size may allow them to better survive any particular injury, but I think this is less important than knowledge. I'd support my hypothesis by looking at what happens when older children enter a new and different world where they don't fully understand the dangers: Driving. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/motorvehiclesafety/teen_drivers/teendrivers_factsheet.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Teens are injured at a much greater rate than are adults.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-10-01T17:55:23.013" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T17:55:23.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14962" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-29T05:34:48.213" Score="3" ViewCount="226" Body="&lt;p&gt;She can usually fall asleep but awakens in the night afraid. She says she doesnt feel safe in her house.  She also says she worries about school because sometimes she cant get her work done &quot;fast enough&quot;.  She can do all the things she is suppost  to do but has little self confidence and fears the teacher will &quot;yell at her&quot;.  I dont know what to tell her or how to make her feel better.  It is breaking my heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9942" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T10:49:51.597" Title="My Granddaughter is 8 and is having trouble sleeping. She seems to have a lot of unfounded fears and I am worried about her" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14864" CreationDate="2014-09-29T07:03:33.860" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do not wish to frighten anyone unnecessarily, but I know that seeking out &quot;smothering&quot; tactile sensations on the body, and essentially cutting off some sensory input (i.e., the eyes--and even the nose, if the surface of the object is not heavily scented) is a little known habit for some Mosaic Down Syndrome children. However, do not panic. Accompanied with that behavior is also often a desire to find quiet, tight spaces, such as nestling tightly against a wall if the bed is touching it, wrapping the body tightly in blankets or sheets, or snuggling deeply into the crevice at the back of a couch. This behavior has been shown to be a defense mechanism for these types of children. What these actions do is essentially to overwhelm the brain with tactile sensations of being immobile (in the case of the wrapping and wedging behaviors), which gives the children a feeling of being safe and secure, and when it is coupled with a quiet location or a sensory deprivation technique of hiding or covering the face, it also adds comfort by cutting off a large amount of incoming sensory data, which can be overwhelming to Mosaic Down Syndrome children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9940" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2014-09-29T09:42:43.077" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T09:42:43.077" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14864" CreationDate="2014-09-29T07:27:11.200" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is perfectly normal behaviour for most children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cuddly toys feel nice - which is why there is a large industry in making things such as Taggies specifically for kids to rub on their face or put in their mouth. I have one child who absolutely loves rubbing her face against a sheepskin rug.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sort of behaviour even remains into adulthood for some people, but in any case it is a normal healthy reflex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T07:27:11.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14967" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14971" CreationDate="2014-09-29T09:10:40.840" Score="16" ViewCount="3824" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our eight year old daughter writes well for her age, and has produced some really spectacular pieces in class. She's not terribly interested in writing for fun at home, though. When she does, what she puts down is often pretty awful, even by the standards of an 8 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the weekend she spent some time putting a poem together and she's really pleased with it, and proud of what she's done. Today she wanted to take it into class and show her peers and teacher, but honestly, a lot of it is drivel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I put her off by saying that some of it is very good (which is true) but other bits could use some more work. She's not going to let it drop, though: she wants to know which bits need work, and why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth is that most of it would benefit from rewriting, but I don't feel I can tell her that, nor would I want to squash her enthusiasm. She's very easily deflated and prone to taking even gentle criticism very harshly. But it's terribly frustrating: we know she can write so well for her age, but she has no concept of self-criticism, so often doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I've given a specific example here, this is a topic I've started to struggle with as my kids have grown up. With little ones we've offered unreserved praise for all their efforts. But at what age is it reasonable to expect children to start to take critical comments constructively, and to start being a little self-critical about what they produce? How can parents, generally, encourage this process, especially with kids who don't tend to take it well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7444" LastActivityDate="2014-10-06T20:18:31.977" Title="How to encourage a child to self-edit and take criticism positively?" Tags="|primary-schooler|learning|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14967" CreationDate="2014-09-29T12:17:10.387" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think perhaps you should re-assess what your expectations should be for an 8 year old both in writing quality and in capacity for taking criticism. I know few, if any 8 year olds who can take criticism in the way some adults can, and fewer still who have any self-criticism at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There can be a significant difference in quality between what kids produce in a structured environment compared to when they are on their own, especially when they are just learning creative writing. On their own 8 year olds are going to produce drivel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Strong criticism can be very discouraging for a young person, so make it mild, and encourage her to write more if she enjoys it no matter what you think about it. Find something positive to say about it, and find a constructive and light-handed way of talking about what you don't. Practice makes perfect, and good writing does take practice. Encourage her to share her writing with her friends - remember it may be drivel to you but they could love it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for self-editing this will come in time as she practices. Foster an environment of constructive criticism that goes both ways. Self-critique yourself and ask her to critique you. Work on developing a rapport, a trust so she has confidence that she can come to you. If you go in guns blazing you could discourage her from writing and/or make sure she never shows you what she's written ever again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2014-09-29T12:23:24.580" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T12:23:24.580" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14969" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-29T13:30:27.473" Score="3" ViewCount="408" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10-year-old boy loves to play a lot. Although he is smart and was in the TAG (Talented and Gifted) program, I have now discovered that the play is getting over him and distracting him. He is no longer in TAG and his present teacher referred to him as an average student. This made me sad. What can I do to reinstate him in the TAG program? I work evening shift daily except weekends. His dad picks him from school, but can't help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9946" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-09-29T13:40:55.560" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T17:26:19.860" Title="How should I help my 9years old son to get back on TAG program" Tags="|education|school|middle-childhood|gifted|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14970" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-29T13:46:56.470" Score="6" ViewCount="4065" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5yo doesn't seem to have a problem with mosquito bites but the 3yo has severe reactions. This keeps him up at night scratching at the bites and crying a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The obvious answer is don't let him get bitten and we do everything possible to avoid that. However, once he's bitten what can you suggest to ease his discomfort until the bites naturally recede?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1337" LastEditorUserId="9954" LastEditDate="2014-09-30T14:14:11.930" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T14:14:11.930" Title="My 3yo is extremely susceptible to mosquito bites" Tags="|health|insects|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14967" CreationDate="2014-09-29T15:57:53.160" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she's asking you which bits need work and why, that's a sign she's open to criticism, and that she trusts you to provide it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing about criticizing creative work is you want to be as specific as possible.  &quot;This part needs rewriting&quot; is a completely useless criticism.  If she knew how to rewrite it better, chances are she would have already done it.  Be specific.  &quot;This part doesn't seem to fit very well with the rest of the poem.  Were you having trouble coming up with a rhyme that fit the story?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other benefit to being specific is by taking it one small part at a time, you can tell when it is getting to be too much for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want to ask questions that lead her to see the problems for herself, rather than handing down pronouncements of error.  &quot;Tell me about this part.  What's different about it compared to this other part?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ability to self-criticize comes with lots and lots of &lt;em&gt;reading&lt;/em&gt; other people's work.  Your daughter simply doesn't have that experience yet.  One way to help her get it faster would be to steer her in the direction of great writing that's similar in style to what she wrote.  &quot;Your poem's style reminds me a little of Edgar Allen Poe's &lt;em&gt;The Bells&lt;/em&gt;.  I have a book of his poems around here somewhere if you want to read it.&quot;  She will feel flattered by the comparison, but also will be able to see better for herself how her own writing is lacking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that people engage in creative endeavors for a variety of reasons.  Ask your daughter why she wrote this poem.  The ability to express herself without being confined by the rules is likely a big part of her motivation.  People need that sometimes in order to handle the rules.  Schools do plenty of formal criticism.  You don't need to worry about if you're doing that enough at home.  Occasionally writing something creative but messy won't hurt her ability to write more formally and cleanly.  In fact, quite the opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T15:57:53.160" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14970" CreationDate="2014-09-29T16:04:49.063" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are in the states there are several spray on remedies which seem to work pretty well and you can find them in most drugstores. If you want something more natural my family remedy is used tea bags, fresh but cooled. You press them against the bite for 5 minutes or so. I don't know why but it seems to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really though if your kid is a skeeter magnet (been there when I was young) tea bags just won't do, get the spray or he'll be head to toe in tea bags. Or just let him get bitten a lot, I got bit so much I developed an immunity to it, although it was pretty unpleasant for awhile! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T16:04:49.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14970" CreationDate="2014-09-29T16:22:24.847" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you get to the bite quickly enough, AfterBite can work miracles. After the fact, our family uses Solarcaine which includes a mild anesthetic and also cools the skin. In terms of preventing bleeding and scabbing, preventing scratching is key, so anything that reduces the itch at the beginning will help. Also, once a bite is scratched, the healing damage from the scratch will itch again tomorrow. You may also consider an antihistamine cream or a system antihistamine (eg Benedryl) at bedtime, in a child appropriate dose, both to ensure a good night's sleep tonight and to reduce tomorrow's itching and misery caused by scratching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After some camping trips in which I got covered in bites, I discovered that even the mildest scratching slows healing. Bites I couldn't reach (between my shoulder blades) drove me insane but healed in a day or two. Bites I couldn't reach in public (say, on my stomach) healed in a week or two. Bites I could absent-mindedly scratch (on my wrist) lasted for over a month and were uncomfortable the whole time. I now put a bandaid over any bite simply to prevent myself from scratching it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents swear that patting a bug bite - reasonably firmly but not a slap - brings all the same relief of scratching but without causing damage. A toddler can be taught to pat instead of to scratch, they say, and I have seen kids who do this. We didn't try it ourselves, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One major advantage of a small child is suggestibility. The magical parental medical treatments in our house included &quot;a warm cloth&quot; to be held against a bruise or other sore spot and &quot;a cold cloth&quot; for fever and the like. It is amazing what these items, offered by someone who loves you and says they will help, can in fact help with. For one of my children, who swelled up visibly not only from bug bites but also from Solarcaine, I once said &quot;tell your hand not to swell up like that.&quot; With some encouragement, the toddler faced the offending hand and delivered a stern verbal order. Within half an hour the swelling was down, and every time a bug bite started to swell, a quick order (from the owner of the hand, not me) took care of it. I can't say the same is guaranteed to work for you, but it can't hurt to try, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T16:22:24.847" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14946" CreationDate="2014-09-29T17:31:11.347" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's my attempt:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You messed up your relationship (I'm not criticizing it, BTW, I'm just stating a fact) and that obviously troubles your daughter. If you feel like you cannot fix your relationship, all you can do is to try to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14790/7982&quot;&gt;minimize the negative effects&lt;/a&gt; this has on your daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I was in your place, I'd start out by asking myself why she behaves the way she does. Obviously, there's a temporal correlation between what you consider bad behavior and the breakup, so there's very likely a cause-effect relationship. What's troubling her so much about the two of you splitting up? Have you fought? Was that before you decided to break up or afterwards? (That is: Is the breakup the problem or might it be part of the solution for her.) Has either of you talked bad about the other? Do both of you see her regularly? Is she insecure whether your love to her might someday wither, too? How's her parents' mood? What practical constraints and limitations does she experience due to your split? etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The items you list seem to make sense to me. Here's a few thoughts they triggered in me: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to her about the your breakup. Explain how the love between two adults (fragile) is different than the love between parents and their children (nearly indestructible), or between siblings. Make sure she feels secure in the knowledge that the two of you will always love her, no matter what. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At that age, children have a hard time envisioning anything more than a few days ahead. Anything &quot;next week&quot; is so far in the future it might just as well never come to pass. Switching her between the two of you every few days might be preferable to her than staying for a week with either parent. A schedule she can tick off (&quot;three more nights until I go back to daddy/mummy&quot;, &quot;two more nights&quot;...) might be helpful.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She is helplessly in a situation she has no control over. So involve her. Let her have a minimal say in the things to decide. How long she will be with whom. Which room will be hers in which apartment. There's practical limitations to all this which she will have to accept as well as you do. But explaining these might make it easier for her to understand what's going on. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The two of you are the most important people in your child's universe. Parents are their children's gods and need to be. Do not befoul her universe by talking bad about each other. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You are her parents and will be for the rest of your lives. You can split as lovers, but you can never quit being a set of parents. Always remember that. Try to make it easier to keep being mother and father. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking to a 3 year old about love and relationships certainly is very challenging. IMO the golden rule about how to deal with a child's questions is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Always truthfully answer all the questions you child asks. Answer exactly the questions your child asks, and only those&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; (and not the ones you think you heard or the child should have asked). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, most children rarely ever ask a question where they cannot deal with the answer. Many parents, when asked a question they consider hard (&lt;em&gt;&quot;Where do babies come from?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;), do either skip over details the child asked for (&lt;em&gt;&quot;How do they got out of mums belly?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;) or answer way more than the children even asked (&lt;em&gt;&quot;It, er, takes two people, ah, a man and a woman, um, to make a baby, and...&quot;&lt;/em&gt;) or (very often) both at the same time. Concentrate on answering the exact question the child asked (&lt;em&gt;&quot;Babies grow in their mum's belly until they're grown enough to live outside.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;) and stop it right there. Do not trouble your child with answers to questions it didn't ask (&lt;em&gt;how babies get in there and how they get out&lt;/em&gt;), unless your child follows up with such a question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T20:34:38.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14970" CreationDate="2014-09-29T17:40:48.763" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;IME the susceptibility to mosquito bites is different from child to child and is greater in smaller children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell your child that it's best to ignore those bites. (It can't right now, but it's still the right thing to teach.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wait. (It will get better the oder he becomes.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you can apply a lot of pastes and other stuff, but IMO this just makes the issue bigger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T17:40:48.763" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14970" CreationDate="2014-09-29T18:36:15.173" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child had some rashes where mosquitoes bit him - and his pediatrician told us to not use repellant all the time, so we had to mosquito-proof his bedroom. I made fine mesh panels with neodymium magnets along the wooden rim (the window frame was made of iron, so the magnets had a strong grip, and were easy to remove.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also bought two of those electrical mosquito tennis rackets (they break easy), and would hunt down the eventual mosquito that entered the bedroom from another room every night (it is rather empowering to be able to hunt those suckers, instead of being just a huge milkshake).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I learned, the bugs like to hide between the clothes in the wardrobe / closet. A quick beating on the hanging clothes and they go flying, then its zapping time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9819" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T18:36:15.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14967" CreationDate="2014-09-29T18:41:20.207" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe you should ask her teacher how she takes criticism in the classroom, if you can find a teacher that gives the student feedback these days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I like to ask questions: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Do you think it would sound better if you did ........ &quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What if we put that sentence over here, read that do you like how that sounds? &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also try to get her asking the questions, &quot;Do you think you could something better in this part?&quot; Get the critical thinking parts going. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing, probably better yet, you could write something with her, something small and very very fun, favorite topic. And have her critique your writing, make some elementary errors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try putting the ball in their court, your not always going to get an answer you like but you may learn about how your child thinks and perceives things, and if you get a childish answer, remember shes still just a child! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for what age to really hammer down? Middle School age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9951" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T18:41:20.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14962" CreationDate="2014-09-29T18:46:27.977" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk a lot to her. I know you already do that, but she needs to put her feelings into words. This way she will begin to self-diagnosis for the roots of those confidence issues. Everyone, specially girls, need to be able to talk their worries out of their chests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get everyone in the house involved. If she has siblings, constant teasing won't do much good. Her parents should be supportive also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show her what she already accomplished. Does she procrastinate when doing her work? If she broadens her view and see that she is capable, she will be more confident and lose less time worrying before tackling the workload.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you need to get acquainted to the behavior of that teacher, and assess their relationship. Is your granddaughter's teacher stern, friendly? Do her fears have any foundation? How does he treat her classmates? Be warned that teachers (specially the abusive ones) are masters at hiding their stuff under scrutiny.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9819" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T18:46:27.977" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14962" CreationDate="2014-09-29T19:57:48.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should absolutely probe deeper into why she feels unsafe at home, as that's very disconcerting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding her relationship with her teacher and academics - I had a first grade teacher who was honestly the most negative and critical person I've ever met.  For example, she would call her first grade students 'failures' for not coloring in their drawings 'properly', and she would yell unprovoked.  It really made me miserable and messed with my entire world view for a month or two.  Thankfully I had very supportive parents who I knew I could talk to.  They immediately had me transferred to another class with a great teacher.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible that one or both of these issues are the cause of her anxiety.  I will certainly say that you are in a great position to get her to confide in you to determine the root cause.  As she seems very concerned about disappointing others or not 'measuring up', you should be especially clear in letter her know that you will love and support her no matter what and that you want to help make things better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9665" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T19:57:48.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14970" CreationDate="2014-09-29T20:05:19.253" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Where I live we have two seasons, Winter and Mosquito, so based on decades of experience the best thing is to avoid getting bitten (ounce of prevention = pound of cure) so try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wearing long-sleeved shirts, long pants etc. You can put mosquito repellent onto the clothes if you are worried about your child's skin reacting to DEET. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid going out in the dusk/dawn or shortly after a rain. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid walking through grass, or keep the grass in your yard cut short (the mosquitos will hide in moist grass &amp;amp; will get stirred up if you move through).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remove standing water on your property.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use citronella candles or mosquito coils spaced judiciously around your child's play area.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understanding that you can't avoid mosquitoes 100% of the time, if bitten you can treat the bite with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A product like Afterbite&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dry soap&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Vinegar&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest the best long-term solution for me was to get so badly bitten by mosquitoes one summer that I developed an immunity. They still annoy me when they fly into my nose/ears/eyes but I don't react to the bites themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9955" LastActivityDate="2014-09-29T20:05:19.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14981" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14986" CreationDate="2014-09-30T00:36:14.550" Score="6" ViewCount="1743" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a son that just recently turned 11. He still periodically calls for me or his father at night because of things like &quot;hearing noises&quot; or just &quot;being scared&quot;&#xA;He also has a small fear of the dark, as in he won't go in a dark room alone for a prolonged period of time because of apparent 'ghosts'.&#xA;Is this normal behavior and what should I do to encourage him to stop this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9961" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T07:25:22.830" Title="My 11 yr old has some irrational fears" Tags="|teen|fears|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14970" CreationDate="2014-09-30T02:52:36.463" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B002ECFV5G&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;these citronella bracelets&lt;/a&gt; and (for us at least) they work great. As long as they don't get too wet you can even take them off, stow them in a plastic bag, and use them again for a day or two (our rule of thumb is when you stop smelling the citronella, replace it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once our 3 year old gets bitten (he reacts pretty badly, too), we make a big deal about &quot;removing the itch&quot; with cold water and bandaids. For the kids, it's more about the emotional aspects and receiving proper attention to their injuries. We also have some made-up songs we sing about not scratching, it seems to work in that I hear him singing it to himself when he's got a big old bite on his elbow or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6542" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T02:52:36.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14981" CreationDate="2014-09-30T04:11:01.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Eleven is not really all that old. I can remember being unnerved when I was alone in a dark room around that age and later. When she's home from college, my oldest daughter won't take the trash out after dark. I don't know how she gets around campus. I guess she travels with friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to go back very far, a few hundred years some places, a few thousand years other places, and there really were monsters out in the dark, and a child alone wouldn't live to see the sunrise. I think he's got the remains of what was a healthy instinct for survival.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T04:11:01.020" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14967" CreationDate="2014-09-30T11:11:51.637" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with all the answers above, and I just wanted to amplify the point that this issue has almost nothing with your daughter, or poetry, or writing or even children in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;All&lt;/em&gt; people of &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; ages when they are in the &lt;strong&gt;early&lt;/strong&gt; stages of attempting to master some new task are looking - nay, craving - positive reinforcement, and they don't really care if it's genuine or not. They want to be told, repeatedly, that yes, they are on the right track.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most process-based tasks, the core skills and mastery can be objectively assessed and they don't need a lot of outside reinforcement. You don't have to tell a kid they've figured out how to ride a bike; trust me, they know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But for tasks with a large component of subjectivity, such as writing or dancing - or to choose an adult-oriented topic, leadership - the need for outside reinforcement in the early stages of development is extremely high. This is of course problematic because the person doing the task has already made up their mind about the outcome - they don't want criticism, they want praise and affirmation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The recommended solution for these sorts of tasks like leadership (and writing and art) is to &lt;strong&gt;focus on the process and not the outcome.&lt;/strong&gt; I won't give a whole seminar on leadership, and there are lots of formal process methodologies out there for all kinds of tasks, but here are some high-level &quot;process-y&quot; things to look at with your daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Acquiring Information i.e. reading poetry, new vocabulary, learning about poetry (meter, slant rhymes, metaphors, etc.), learning how other poets wrote&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Considering Alternatives i.e. pick out a line you don't like and ask her to try to come up with 5 different lines to replace it, ask her how would the poem change if she couldn't use verbs, what if it was told in third person, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Internal Consistency i.e. diction, tone, emotional content&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why/Why Not i.e. questions about the decisions she made in the poem, for her particularly words and rhymes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best artists and leaders have tried and true, battle-tested processes and rubrics they use to produce great works and great decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6542" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T11:11:51.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14981" CreationDate="2014-09-30T14:03:10.433" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is perfectly normal. I am over 30 and still have some chills walking at home alone in the dark of night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children have problem separating fantasy and reality. By 11 this is almost gone, but the mileage is different for each person. &lt;strong&gt;Do not diminish those fears&lt;/strong&gt;. Empathy is the keyword here. Tell him that it is ok to have fears, but we need to be brave and face them. Tell some firsthand experience with some fear you had conquererd. You have to help him cope with those fears. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/nighttime-fears.html&quot;&gt;Parenting Science says&lt;/a&gt; (emphasis mine):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;To deal successfully with nighttime fears and separation anxiety, a child needs&lt;br&gt;&#xA;   - A well-developed sense of time (“when will I see Mommy again?”)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;   - The ability to &lt;strong&gt;control&lt;/strong&gt; emotional &lt;strong&gt;impulses&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;   - The ability to distinguish appearances from reality&lt;br&gt;&#xA;   - The ability to &lt;strong&gt;reason consciously&lt;/strong&gt; and trust rational conclusions over misleading sensory information (“that shadowy bump on the floor might look like a monster, but I know it’s really a pile of clothes”)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So he needs to be able to think over his fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One good trick is to &lt;strong&gt;give him a keychain lantern&lt;/strong&gt; to keep with himself during nighttime. When you give him the lantern, tell him:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Anytime you see something &lt;strong&gt;suspicious&lt;/strong&gt;, use the lantern to &lt;strong&gt;see what it really is&lt;/strong&gt;. If you are scared of turning it on, call (me/us/your parents) and we will use the lantern &lt;strong&gt;together&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is crucial during the first week that someone stands ready to answer his call. He will call very often during this first week, just to test if the promise of being there to use the lantern together is a solid one. Hold his hand and turn the lantern on together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he begins to trust the lantern, he will begin to see that his fears are unfounded, and call in the cavalry less and less. It brings us now to not reinforce the fears, and not to give them (fears) more importance than these fears deserve (and that is zero. The important thing now is the buildup of the child's confidence).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has siblings (specially older, teen siblings), set up a strict no-prank rule for the first few weeks. Pranks can help lighten up, but right now we need to build confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After he is confident with the lantern, you can set up a &quot;bravery test&quot;, and halloween is coming, a very good opportunity. Decorate the house with his help, and then set a night near halloween to play ghost detective with the whole family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9819" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T14:03:10.433" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14946" CreationDate="2014-09-30T15:37:19.563" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to some of the great advice offered here, I would recommend: &lt;strong&gt;don't change her home.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Separating parents will often play ping pong with their kids - pass the kids back and forth between Mom and Dad's home. This can be very frustrating for a child because &lt;strong&gt;they&lt;/strong&gt; don't have a place to call home anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen parents who treat the home where they family was living together pre-separation as the kids' home. The parents then take turns (instead of the kid) living in the home with the kid. It's an added expense (three homes instead of two) but it can make a huge difference to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="479" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T15:37:19.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14969" CreationDate="2014-09-30T15:49:54.250" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you need to do one or more of the following:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get the father involved. I am sure he can spare at least 45 minutes to his child every day.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every person that is around the children is partially responsible for its education (not instruction, different things). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put the child on a daily schedule. Have a set time for everything. Bath, meals, playtime, school, grooming, household chores. &lt;strong&gt;Stick to the schedule&lt;/strong&gt; at all costs!!! &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A schedule item that involves someone else (&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;playtime with daddy is mandatory&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;) must be followed by all. I think you should set some time (maybe 30 minutes) aside in the morning schedule before school to you and the child do something together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise his efforts, not his smarts (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/praise-and-intelligence.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;read me&lt;/a&gt;) - (&lt;a href=&quot;http://lifehacker.com/praise-kids-efforts-instead-of-abilities-and-make-it-s-1510981461&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;read me too&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praise must be honest. Do not exagerate. State exactly what he did right. Do not criticize much. The other side of the coin is that you have to talk to him of his shortfalls too. Show exactly where he did wrong, and what he should've done instead. At all costs avoid the &quot;dental hygienist&quot; guilt trip (nobody deserves that kind of treatment).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to the teacher a lot. Talk to the &lt;em&gt;school counselor&lt;/em&gt; or the &lt;em&gt;TAG program supervisor&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;pedagogic advisor&lt;/em&gt; (or whomever fill a similar role). Maybe TAG is not for him, and that is totally OK. Since you have time in the morning, try to schedule visits the school.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If possible, check how the other kids in TAG are, and their activities. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;This is absolutely not supposed to become a comparison&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Your goal is to get more acquainted to the program.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to the children about his former experience in TAG (and now you already know more about the program). Ask him what he liked and what he disliked, and if he misses it or not. &lt;em&gt;Do not project any expectations during this talk&lt;/em&gt;. He will be reading your body language for signs of what to say (and there is no right or wrong in this talk). This is supposed to be an honest talk, not a scalding or anything.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only by talking to everyone involved back and forth is that you will get to the root of this problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Boys be boys is dead. Do not let him run loose. Talk to him a lot. Set boundaries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9819" LastEditorUserId="9819" LastEditDate="2014-09-30T17:26:19.860" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T17:26:19.860" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14989" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-09-30T16:01:35.927" Score="3" ViewCount="5329" Body="&lt;p&gt;Due to some insurance changes we switched our children (ages 9 and 16) to a different dentist last year.  The new dentist is a pediatric dentist who only sees children.  Our prior dentist was a general family dentist who saw the whole family.  Our prior dentist is a bit old-school:  he does everything himself and seems very thorough, with routine cleanings typically taking 45 minutes to an hour for everything including X-rays if needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was pretty surprised that the pediatric dental cleaning appointments seemed very short.  I timed our last one.  The hygienist spent a total of 9 minutes polishing and flossing my daughter's teeth, followed by less than 5 minutes with the dentist who did an inspection and applied fluoride.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it fair to judge the new dentist based on the duration of the cleaning?  My initial reaction is that it can't possibly be as high quality or effective as our old dentist.  But then again, our old dentist is certainly outside of the normal curve of typical dentists, maybe we are just accustomed to his lengthy and perhaps over-the-top thoroughness.  Maybe he is more thorough than he needs to be and is pushing the cleaning past the point of diminishing returns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is fair to judge based on the duration of the basic cleaning procedures, how long should it take?  If 9 minutes is too short, what is appropriate...15?  30?  Are there accepted standards of practice for what constitutes &quot;good enough&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand each situation is different and calls for different degrees of cleaning.  But this is a pretty &quot;normal&quot; case where the child has good brushing/flossing habits and is going in for cleanings every 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="987" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-05T14:34:59.573" LastActivityDate="2019-07-05T14:34:59.573" Title="How long should a pediatric dental cleaning take?" Tags="|health|teeth|doctor|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14969" CreationDate="2014-09-30T16:13:26.213" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The purpose of Talented and Gifted programs is to provide extra opportunities to students with high levels of ability, talent, or potential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is important to keep in mind, because the fact that your son was referred to as an &quot;average student&quot; is irrelevant to whether or not he would benefit from a TAG program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many gifted children wind up being average, or even poor, students.  This is due to a wide variety of reasons, ranging from boredom with the standard curriculum to poor study habits/discipline, peer pressure, or uncooperative or even hostile school faculty.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think your son belongs in the TAG program, then you should do a couple of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is to review why and how he was selected for the TAG program in the first place.  Was it academic performance?  Was it performance on standardized tests?  Was it something you initiated?  Was it due to an evaluation performed independently of the school?  Whatever the reason(s), you should start by seeing if it is possible that the reasons your son was placed in the TAG program no longer apply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they still apply, then your second step is to determine what goals you and your son want to achieve by being a part of this program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son's participation in this step is pretty important.  If he doesn't know why he wants to be in the TAG program, then he's not likely to get much benefit out of it.  Talk with him, and find out what he wants.  Maybe he is bored.  Maybe he wants to learn a musical instrument.  Maybe he wants to read more, or likes math, or wants to get away from people who treat him differently because he does well in class.  Or maybe he wants none of those things, and is happy where he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his goals (and your goals) seem to go beyond what the standard curriculum offers, then the next step is to talk to the people running the TAG program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask why he is no longer part of the program.  Explain what your goals are, and why you feel that those goals would be better achieved through the TAG program.  Ask for their feedback, and their help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Together, you can hopefully come up with a plan that works for everyone; however, you're going to have a hard time getting him back into the TAG program if the TAG faculty doesn't want him in there, and it will be pointless even if you do if &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; doesn't want to be in there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T16:13:26.213" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14989" CreationDate="2014-09-30T16:56:59.247" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you plotted a graph with the &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; axis as &lt;em&gt;Time spent&lt;/em&gt; and the &lt;em&gt;y&lt;/em&gt; axis as &lt;em&gt;Quality of care&lt;/em&gt;, you would not get a straight line on a continuous incline. Too little time is not good, but there is not a direct corellation between time spent and quality of care, nor would it likely be a bell-shaped curve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are there accepted standards of practice for what constitutes &quot;good enough&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, nor should there be. The variables are too numerous and the average &lt;em&gt;consumer&lt;/em&gt; of health care* is not familiar enough with all of them to make such a call. Some factors determining time spent (in this case) are: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;efficiency: dental hygienists are experts at cleaning teeth, doing it all day every day, meaning the time spent achieving the same result will be far less than a better trained person doing it less frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Degree of tartar accumulation: The less there is to clean, the faster it will go.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Number of carious teeth: the fewer, the faster.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Degree of gum sensitivity (should be low in children).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;(Degree of apprehension in patient x degree to which care taker caters to/recognizes apprehension) divided by amount of skill caretaker has in preventing/alleviating apprehension.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her next cleaning may take twice as long if she's stressed, or had a lapse in her good daily hygiene, or if she develops cavities, of if she sees a relatively inexperienced/new hygienist, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*I hate the term &lt;em&gt;consumer&lt;/em&gt; in health care. But it is what it has become. Your evaluation of the quality of care given should rest with factors such as number/nature of complaints lodged against this dental practice, professionalism in all its members, hygiene in the office, recommendations for money-making procedures (e.g. dental x-rays) not exceeding recommendations of the professional organization (x-rays being a real concern in pediatric practices), word of mouth of long-standing patients, continued maintenance of your daughter's excellent oral health, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-09-30T16:56:59.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14925" CreationDate="2014-09-30T17:14:45.433" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answers and comments surrounding this question lead me to an answer that I will call the Dog Whisperer answer. Now I am not comparing my daughter to a dog, but when the Dog whisperer goes into troubled dog's home he usually fixes the owners. Usually the dog is just fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is possible that my anxiety about trying something new may have been inadvertently communicated through my gestures and posture and tone. And that may (also) have contributed to her negative feelings towards the subject.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9870" LastEditorUserId="9870" LastEditDate="2014-10-01T15:48:44.147" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T15:48:44.147" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14946" CreationDate="2014-09-30T18:23:59.687" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are &lt;em&gt;clearly&lt;/em&gt; an organized and intentional parent and have instilled discipline into your child (great!), yet your child is suddenly acting up. It sounds like you need to work on your marriage more than your parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry if that sounded insensitive, or maybe even off-topic, but it's important to understand that a 3-year-old's entire universe is wrapped up within her parents and she sees it all crashing down. Better to address it than mask it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If moving back in together is absolutely not an option, try &lt;strong&gt;couch time&lt;/strong&gt;. 15 minutes a day spend some time on the couch with your spouse in full visibility of your daughter. Make sure she sees you two being patient, loving, and empathetic with one another. Talk about your day and make an honest effort to be openly loving and affectionate with your spouse. Talk about something other than your child. Reminisce about fun times--anything, really. Just be sincere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound like non scientific feel-good advice but I offer it from personal experience and the experience of many of my friends (we are all about couch time). My son was having trouble sleeping when he was about 20 months and we couldn't figure out why. It turns out that my wife and I just got busy and our son hardly saw us together at the time. We started doing couch time with him in the room (setting him on a blanket and telling him to play alone for 15 minutes) and the results were almost immediate. Your kids see you as superman/woman and that's where their confidence lies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastEditorUserId="7962" LastEditDate="2014-10-02T12:20:56.757" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T12:20:56.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14995" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="14996" CreationDate="2014-10-01T01:22:19.820" Score="2" ViewCount="349" Body="&lt;p&gt;My ex-wife says giving my son too many fruit snacks (too much sugar) caused him to have a meltdown at school the next day. Is this even the slightest bit likely? He is 5 and in pre-school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9854" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T03:29:10.400" Title="Can eating fruit snacks cause behavior problems the next day?" Tags="|nutrition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14995" CreationDate="2014-10-01T02:25:52.847" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sugar &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/busting-sugar-hyperactivity-myth&quot;&gt;does not cause hyperactivity&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if a kid learns from his parents that he is expected to be hyper after eating sugar, well, you can guess what will happen when he gets sugar. Even with that trained response, I don't think there's any plausible reason that sugar would cause bad behavior the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9975" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T02:25:52.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1186" CreationDate="2014-10-01T09:44:04.177" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started my son at age 8, but wish I had done it earlier as it would have been even easier for him.  He lapped it up, we were home edding at the time so I could choose exactly which lessons he did and how long we spent on each and when we did them, so I could cater for when he didn't feel like it.&#xA;He then went to prep school in the UK for five terms, winning the prize for Classics when he left, and was streets, if not whole towns, ahead of his fellow students and has been described as having a gift for Classics.&#xA;I spent three weeks this summer teaching him Ancient Greek, which he found easy too, ready for Public School this autumn.&#xA;If I had my time again, I would introduce the Latin at about age five, and the Greek a couple of years later, not at the same time though.  He is also fluent in French with an IGCSE at age 12, using the internet frequently in french as he researches architecture.  He is now nearly fourteen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9979" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T09:44:04.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="14999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14962" CreationDate="2014-10-01T10:49:51.597" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of my kids went through phases like this, some didn't. I saw the same with friends and their kids. In fact, I do remember one such phase when I was a child. It came, made my parents struggle a bit helplessly, and it went. I have no idea where it came from and what it was. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this mostly isn't about the fears they experience, but something beneath that. Maybe the child truly realizes that there are indeed things to fear in the world, and needs to test that feeling. Maybe some other fear is underneath that she cannot voice, and that seeks an outlet this way. If so, you (and/or her parents) should try to get at that, finding the real cause of the problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's making her feel unsafe in the house? Is she really slower than others? Do the teachers actually yell at her? If there's something behind that, it would be good if you could find it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet, what I as a parent found helpful in such phases was the (universally helpful) advice to not to make this into a spectacle in front of the child: Keep calm. Be reassuring. Be comforting. Listen. Ask. Explain. Try to sooth the fears. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember my mother getting out the flashlight and the two of us looking under the wardrobe and into other dimly lit corners of my room before I went to bed. I got a small light in my room, and she left the door a bit ajar. And a month later all this wasn't necessary anymore. Interestingly, I remember no underlying fears, just the ones I was expressing. (Which doesn't mean there weren't any. But there was nothing I could have expressed myself.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember one of my kids around the age of 4 or 5 being afraid of wolves. I blame Grimms' fairytales for this. (That was Germany, in the late 90s, where there were probably less than a dozen wolves in the wild which had come over the Polish border. There's a few more nowadays, but you will never even see them while hiking through the woods.) In the end I bought books about wolves, read about them, and explained to the child what I had learned. We talked about the role wild animals had at the time those fairytales were invented, and how they later got hunted into extinction. How dogs were bred from wolves. All that talk helped the child. (And it gave me a fascination for the creatures that lasts until today.) After a few weeks, the fears were gone. Again, we found no underlying cause. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T10:49:51.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15000" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15004" CreationDate="2014-10-01T10:59:29.313" Score="45" ViewCount="8545" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've noticed a great many parents do everything within their power to prevent their children playing with toy guns and weapons. As a 30-something, I grew up with toy swords, bows and guns, action men (GI Joe's) and ninja turtles etc. I'd hope most people who know me would consider that I've turned into a reasonable and well-balanced adult, just as those who I grew up with have also done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son recently turned 1 and currently doesn't have any gun / weapon toys, but as he gets older I suspect there will come a time when he wants to play &quot;Cops and Robbers&quot; or similar. Currently I'm not against the idea of him having toy weapons, but at the same time I don't want to expose him to anything that'll turn him into a violent or aggressive adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most sources I've read state there's no correlation:    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No study has yet linked pretend gunplay to future violent behavior,&#xA;  and most child experts agree that by forbidding gunplay entirely,&#xA;  parents give it far more power and will probably drive it underground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_boys-and-guns-okay-to-play_3656152.bc&quot;&gt;Source 1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've always thought that children don't really relate this type of play to violence and that it's more about good verses evil - but it's important to ensure they have some context / awareness of how to role-play those scenarios appropriately. Echoed by this article: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean this type of play is about violence, however.&#xA;  According to Thompson, it's really about dominance and heroism,&#xA;  winning and losing, and who gets to be the good guy in the end.&#xA;  Sometimes &quot;there is aggression and hurtfulness, and that must be&#xA;  stopped,&quot; Thompson says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/toy-guns-do-they-lead-real-life-violence&quot;&gt;Source 2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is preventing children playing with toy guns more a projection of the parents views or is it from a genuine belief (or study) that it is likely to harm the child's development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't let your child play with weapons, can you explain your rationale?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise, if you do - why? Also, do you impose any controls or limits around play &quot;violence&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few people have asked for background information on my location and laws here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm from the UK, so access to a real gun by a child is very remote. Toy guns are legal, but almost all I see for sale are in bright / unrealistic colours etc. As others have mentioned, wherever you live, it's probably wise to ensure a toy can be identified as such from a distance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However (despite the title), my question isn't gun specific - I'm interested in how to ensure &quot;violent&quot; play (including swords and bows etc.) doesn't encourage real violence or aggression. So, as one answerer touched upon - how they teach a kitchen knife isn't for playing with is valid in this context. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9980" LastEditorUserId="9980" LastEditDate="2014-10-02T13:51:51.890" LastActivityDate="2023-05-19T10:03:16.613" Title="Should I let my child play with gun toys?" Tags="|behavior|development|play-time|violence|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15000" CreationDate="2014-10-01T12:12:26.250" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most important then if you should let your child play with toy A or toy B, is what you already posted in your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are the effects this kind of play have in the children's psichology?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember toddlers and young children have trouble separating fantasy from reality. His nightmares and fantasies will seem as real as school to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to work around that. Estimulate critical thinking (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-critical-thinking.html&quot;&gt;ref #1&lt;/a&gt;) (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naeyc.org/mwg-internal/de5fs23hu73ds/progress?id=L7AMI%20LLWv&quot;&gt;ref #2&lt;/a&gt;) (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jumpstart.com/parents/activities/critical-thinking-activities&quot;&gt;ref #3&lt;/a&gt;) is a good thing always, and also instill a sense of ethics and moral development (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=565&quot;&gt;ref #4&lt;/a&gt;). I really recommend reading the paper &lt;a href=&quot;http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Berkowitz/Berkowitz.html&quot;&gt;Fostering Goodness: Teaching Parents to Facilitate Children's Moral Development&lt;/a&gt; by Dr. Berkowitz.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this way, you are enabling the child to assess (with your constant guidance) the dangers and problems with some objects or activities, be it climbing on the window sill or playing with guns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After he is old enough to hold a conversation (very soon), talk to him. Ask him what are the dangers of the real object (as compared to the toy), and where the play &quot;mindspace&quot; ends and the &quot;real thing&quot; begins. Check if he can tell the difference from a toy to the real object. Remind him that he should only be playing with toys, and only in a safe way. When he apprehends his &quot;robber&quot;, ask him &quot;what should we do with &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; robber?&quot;. Discuss his response, and follow up with &quot;what do we do with &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; robbers?&quot;, &quot;is robbing ok?&quot;, &quot;why not?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To finish, example is the most compelling influence. The children will try to emulate adult behavior. So you have to be an example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9819" LastEditorUserId="9819" LastEditDate="2014-10-01T12:18:40.060" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T12:18:40.060" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15000" CreationDate="2014-10-01T15:55:48.677" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consider you answered your own question, you turned out okay, rationally recognizing the inherent dangers. There are important, legitimate, appropriate, responsible uses of weapons for defense, hunting to provide food, and sports. Its not just about violence, or playing cops &amp;amp; robbers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Water, essential for life, is inherently dangerous. A child can drown in only a few inches of water. Would you never let your child near water, or teach the importance and danger, and how to swim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9983" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T15:55:48.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14947" CreationDate="2014-10-01T16:02:41.970" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on the age of the child, but I'll try to deal with the most common and realistic danger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Choking hazards&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially for adults who aren't use to children - they will put nearly anything in their mouth/nose/ears (some children avoid the nose/ear, but it varies by child). It's their way of exploring their world. But older children are still susceptible, and the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/media/pressrel/fs021024.htm&quot;&gt;CDC gives some nice info on this&lt;/a&gt;. Food and candy accounts for about 60%&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Inappropriate Ingestion&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond the danger of choking, I'm talking about eating/drinking things they just shouldn't - medications (even over the counter 'safe' varieties - pain medicine like Tylenol being all too commonly dangerous), alcohol, tobacco, and things that are for decoration or even pest control! Roach motels, rat poison, fly paper...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child is not from a home where these things are present, they might not even know what they are because the parents got rid of things back during baby-proofing and never reintroduced them. This is especially dangerous, because then it's a mystery/fascinating thing and they will naturally want to find out about it. Which leads to...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Touch-Dangers&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again with the poisons - household cleansers, especially strong ones like drain cleaner, bleach, and ammonia are really really not for touching without gloves. Even when gloves aren't needed, children might not realize they need to wash their hands and end up wiping their eyes or touching their mouths...a highly unpleasant discovery at best, and potentially deadly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you don't have kids, having some drain cleaner on-hand in-case of a clog is really handy! When kids are going to be around it's best to lock them all up or just not have them - buy and use as needed, and rinse+crush+dispose of the bottle immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Falling Dangers&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stairs and over-head cabinets can be really dangerous, especially for kids who like to climb and get on top of things! Maybe trying to hang from a door, or get something too high for them because they don't want to bother you - very common sources of injury! The worst is probably the top of the fridge and high cabinets that include heavy things, glass things, and things that are stacked. They just want a plate or a cookie, and then all this stuff they can't see or they just didn't realize how heavy it would be...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also on the list is unsecured bookshelves (one grab to get a high book or trinket and the whole thing will be on top of them!) and any tall furniture. TV stands, dressers, and bookcases are just so often terrible for vertical stability, and those of us not in an earthquake-zone rarely think to anchor them to a wall! Big tube TVs are still pretty common, and they can even outweigh kids near their teens, while a fully-loaded bookshelf is too much for even an adult to secure themselves against without likely injury if it should topple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Dangers From Above&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While other dangers from above are mentioned, the general rule for kids is they are shorter than adults and see things from a different angle. Especially for kids up to around 8-10, kitchens are especially dangerous. One reach up to a pot to see what's in it (when it's full of boiling water or grease) and there is just no easy way to fix what can result. Putting things on the back burner, communication with kids (lifting them up to show, and having special chairs/stools for them to see up is often helpful, talking to them about what's on the stove, etc), turning pot handles so they aren't available to reach up and touch - even for a long-time parent its easy to forget about and walk away from the stove without thinking, so don't rely on any one method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Cutting Hazards&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knives are common both in the kitchen and elsewhere in many homes. We all know knives are dangerous, but if you have a nice show-piece hanging on the wall or a utility knife in the closet or a box-cutter under the TV, it's easy to just forget it's even there! But again, this is an extremely common cause of injury...for adults! So it's certainly for kids too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Electrical Hazards&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, electrical things can be easy to forget about...that frayed wire on the thing that still works but you just don't touch it directly, the extension-cord that barely reaches the TV, that power-outlet that isn't quite right so you avoid using it, the outlet or switch that has no face-plate or cover on it...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially when you don't have kids full-time, it's easy to just forget all the things you just &quot;know better&quot; than to do, but that are very easy to do in practice. Like washing your hands and missing that uncovered light switch directly and having your wet fingers slip back in towards the wires.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Tools&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drills, saws, knives, nails, screws, hammers (did you ever keep on on TOP of the closet?), chisels, awls...anything in a utility closet, toolkit, garage, etc - it's danger to adults and if you use any you've surely hurt yourself at least a little at some time! For kids it can just be a lot worse. Yet they are extremely normal household goods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Decorations&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Decorations!? It might sound obvious, but again it's very normal (depending on where you are in the world) to hang inedible berries/plants, swords, antlers/teeth/heads, guns, and knives on the wall. Big paintings with or without glass covering them are in the same general line. As adults, we know they are &quot;for show&quot;, not for touching...well, unless we are left alone and it's just sooo cool looking - is that a real samurai sword? I wonder how heavy it is... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I digress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also common are big pots, plants, glass work, small nicknacks (again with the choking and cutting), tall stools that are easily tipped, perhaps heavy furniture or display stands/cabinets. All dangers of various sorts, but when you don't have kids around all the time you just know to avoid certain classes of activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Water&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, the end our fright-fest: water. What? While vital for life and handy for fun, and even if you turn down your water heater to avoid scalding (good job!), water can be a danger - especially in the form of pools, ponds, tubs, streams, rivers, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Guns&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children and guns don't mix well, regardless of education or familiarity with the subject. Lots of experiments show it and often make TV - even parents who think their kids &quot;know better&quot; and have been extensively taught how to handle them properly are shocked how little it takes (especially with multiple kids involved) to prompt them to behave improperly. They're just kids - not trained adult soldiers, who themselves have a terrible habit of not using their guns properly either. Assume kids (and adults!) make mistakes, and just try to avoid making it easy to perform fatal mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, keep the guns - if you have any - completely, physically inaccessible to kids. Preferably locked and out of site at least while they are around, or whenever not used for a specific purpose. Some adults take kids hunting, for instance, and I personally think that's great - but still, as soon as not using them lock them away to avoid tragedy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;In Conclusion&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big &quot;thing that links them all&quot; is novelty/newness makes children want to know more about it and get closer, and no one automatically knows better - and children have had much less time and opportunity to learn. If they can try it, they might.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no magic bullet in figuring out these things, but pretending you are &quot;baby-proofing&quot; is a great method, and many great resources can guide you in this process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So many things are fine for adults &quot;because&quot;...then look closely at the reason. If it's OK for an adult because of experience, training or specific education, or their size/weight/height - it's probably dangerous to a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this sounds like &quot;all of the things&quot; are dangerous...and, well, it's kind of because they are. But most dangers, once identified, are easily mitigated with a little time and effort - anchoring, proper storage, locked/inaccessible cabinets/rooms, and some good communication and supervision go a long, long way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all - thanks for spending the time an energy to be a responsible adult who looks out for the little ones!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9984" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T16:02:41.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15000" CreationDate="2014-10-01T16:39:17.723" Score="46" Body="&lt;p&gt;I take what I consider to be a pragmatic approach: if there is no toy which is obviously a gun, kids just make their own (60-80% of boys, 30% of girls, play with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/toy-guns-do-they-lead-real-life-violence&quot;&gt;&quot;aggressive toys&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&#xA; of some variety). Fingers, sticks, coat hangers (which double as pretty decent fighter planes and space ships, IMHO), pencils/pens, cardboard tubes (packing tubes make great bazookas!), rocks, air, etc. And nerf/water guns can be an awful lot of fun, for kids and adults! So I don't ban make-believe or toy guns, because I think that just encourages them to learn the lesson &quot;just don't let dad see you do that, even though it's obviously harmless&quot; (from the kid's point of view).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I avoid &quot;realistic looking&quot; guns, even though I had them as a kid. Why? Partly out of a concern for genuine misunderstanding at school or while running around - a reasonable person shouldn't have to wonder &quot;is that kid running around with a real gun?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they ask for a real looking gun, I just explain to them why I avoid them just like that - if you saw someone running around with that, especially without that little orange cap, how would you know from far away if it was real or fake? With a little explanation I always found my kids could understand how that might be bad for them (and we discussed wit with some detail right there), and then we mutually expressed how cool it looked anyway but agreed it wasn't worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also avoid them because, having a real-looking gun pointed at me isn't fun for me because I've been threatened by actual guns, while having a water gun pointed at me just makes me say &quot;do not shoot me with that, I don't want to get wet!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also make a point to explain this also to my kids in age-appropriate ways - so they understand why some people might actually not want something pointed at them! &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;If everyone who's playing isn't having fun, it isn't really fun!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I find the fun and naturalness of play-fighting to be reasonable and healthy, and encourage whatever obviously-child-play thing boys and girls like to do. My hope is that I am able teach the lesson by direct analogy: &lt;em&gt;that play sword doesn't cut, but knives do, right? That play gun doesn't hurt, but a gun - just like a kitchen knife - does really hurt.&lt;/em&gt; Since kids get cuts and scrapes, this seems intelligible enough to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also accept that any amount of explanation about the difference in play and reality is going to be insufficient to inoculate them against danger.  It's an open, ongoing conversation about limits that include when something is funny and when it's just mean, the limits of allowable play-fighting, what sort of things are most dangerous, and all those other really important life topics. Toys - which and when - are part of that conversation between a parent and child, and I think it's more important that you have that ongoing conversation than any particular decision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I think the greatest danger of all is a &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;false sense of security&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. If you think that playing with guns protects them from playing with real guns, you are both in grave danger; if you think banning gun toys protects them from playing with real guns, you are both in grave danger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9984" LastEditorUserId="9984" LastEditDate="2014-10-02T20:00:00.227" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T20:00:00.227" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14946" CreationDate="2014-10-01T20:27:53.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are doing all that you can, and it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things.  It sounds like you understand that it's impossible to completely prevent or 'fix' her behavior, and that's good.  She is going through a tough time, just like you and your wife are, and there will invariably be some outbursts.  I would advise redirecting her when she misbehaves, and explaining to her healthy outlets for sadness and frustration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one should stay together if they don't love each other any more, or don't make eachother happy anymore.  All it does is draw it out and make the suffering for everyone concerned last longer.  Don't let anyone try to tell you you're giving up or a quitter -- 14 years is a very very long time, and they are not in your relationship.  You are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9665" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T20:27:53.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14995" CreationDate="2014-10-01T21:12:44.537" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sugar in very large quantities gives me headaches and used to give me more headaches when I was younger. This was putting me in a bad mood until I figured out that it was due to the sugar. Maybe it could be the same thing with your son ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9981" LastActivityDate="2014-10-01T21:12:44.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14995" CreationDate="2014-10-02T03:29:10.400" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are lots and lots of reasons to restrict the processed sugar that kids consume, but behavior problems the next day isn't one of them!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a comment that your wife is looking for something blame.  Maybe she is looking for something that she can tell you to get you to stop giving him sugar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you should stop giving him sugar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T03:29:10.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15008" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-02T03:38:41.107" Score="4" ViewCount="1519" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7-year-old daughter does not like to try new recipes. She eats only bread and butter. She is not ready to try pasta, rice or Mac and cheese. Among fruits and vegetables she eats only carrots and pomegranate. I feel totally frustrated because of this. If she does not get the food she stays hungry throughout the day. This worries me because she is an active participant in all the sports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9312" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-11T12:25:06.997" LastActivityDate="2019-04-11T12:25:06.997" Title="What to do about my 7-year-old being too picky about food?" Tags="|primary-schooler|health|food|eating|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="15009" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15031" CreationDate="2014-10-02T09:54:38.413" Score="47" ViewCount="8823" Body="&lt;p&gt;How should you go about balancing the possessions you buy for your child against peer pressure from other children (particularly at school) and parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many parents feel the need for their children to keep up to date with whatever other children might have, be it the latest trainers (sneakers), smartphone or tablet computer. The fear being either their child will be bullied or they'll miss out on educational or social opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm conscious of the effect of this &quot;have / have not&quot; scenario on both my child and other children - where if say, I jumped on the bandwagon and bought my child an iPad, chances are there'll be one or more children who won't get one because their parents can't afford it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd imagine none of us want to have their child be the &quot;odd one out&quot;, but what is a sensible balance?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having (practically) everything? This is the expensive option, plus it puts more&#xA;pressure on other parents and children. I'd also assume this would make it difficult to make the child appreciate how lucky they are if they get everything automatically.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have some of the things from their peer group? What would you prioritise, bearing in mind children can be very brand conscious and their attention / interest in the latest craze may be short-lived.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have very little of the &quot;in things&quot;, trying to teach the child to appreciate what they do have and explain that there will always be someone with more than them, so they have to learn to accept that?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the following in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Like any parent, I want my child to have every opportunity and the best education.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Like most parents, our family has a limited budget with a balance of priorities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We don't want our child to be bullied or excluded from social situations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We don't want other children to be left out or increase the pressure for their parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people commenting and answering have misinterpreted my intentions - I'm not proposing spoiling my child by buying everything they want on a whim. My question relates to situations where all or most children in their class already have something and my child doesn't. The people preaching about how bad it is to hand children everything on a plate have missed the point of this question...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd agree with the sentiment that children should be taught not measure their worth in possessions or what they have. However, the further away they are from the situation of their peers, the more difficult they'll find being included and socialising at school. As one answerer already mentions, this really breaks down into two areas: possessions purely for status and prerequisites for participation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whilst it's easy to justify not buying fancy shoes, but when all the other child communicate after school using an app, play on-line together on their consoles or ride to their park on their pedal go carts (and your child has none of these things), the other children not playing with mine isn't bullying, it's situational. Ignoring that would just leave my child excluded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9980" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-16T13:49:37.593" LastActivityDate="2019-02-16T13:49:37.593" Title="How much should you buy for your child to keep up with their peers?" Tags="|school|bullying|socialization|peer-pressure|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15008" CreationDate="2014-10-02T10:20:59.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she's going to restrict herself to four foods, then choosing bread, butter, carrots, and pomegranate is not so bad. There are far worse diets she could be on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enough bread should give her plenty of energy to participate in whatever sports she's interested in. I wouldn't worry about that at all. If she was lacking in energy, you'd know it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Carrots and pomegranates have quite a variety of vitamins in them, provided she's eating plenty of them. Carrots are good for vitamin A; pomegranates for vitamin K; and both contain a variety of B-group vitamins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd worry slightly about trace minerals like iron and calcium. There will be some in the butter, but butter is not usually consumed in sufficient enough quantities to, say, provide a reasonable source of calcium.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she a fussy drinker too? Making sure she drinks milk could help with her calcium intake; orange juice has lots of vitamin C.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But only you know the quantities of these foods she's eating. Do some quick back-of-an-envelope calculations to make sure she's getting 100% (or near enough) of her recommended daily allowance of the key vitamins and minerals. (Bear in mind that the widely published recommendations usually apply to adults. Children usually need less - try to find guidelines applicable to her age group.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's lacking any vitamins or minerals in particular you could consider giving her nutritional supplements as a &lt;em&gt;temporary&lt;/em&gt; measure while you work on expanding her food repertoire. This need not be as a pill. There exist various &quot;fortified&quot; breads on the market.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gradually try to introduce foods that are slightly unfamiliar but you can market to her in safe ways. Parsnips are basically just white carrots. And if she likes bread an butter, why not try a cheese sandwich made with a mild cheese?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try using social pressure to persuade her to try new foods. Invite one of her school friends around for a play after school and to stay for dinner. Serve something like a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ploughman&amp;#39;s_lunch&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ploughman's&lt;/a&gt; as a platter. There is bread and butter involved, and she would have the option of just sticking to that without feeling awkward, but she might be tempted to try some of the other things on the platter if she saw her friend enjoying them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T10:20:59.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15009" CreationDate="2014-10-02T11:11:37.943" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;When confronted with these issues for the first time, we asked ourselves these questions: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; afford to have everything all our peers have?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If not, when and how did &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; learn to not to let this bring us down?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; calculate our self-esteem depending on whether we can buy the same things our peers do? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Seeing some of the things their peers have, do we even &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; our children to have those? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answers to these turned out to be &lt;em&gt;No&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;As a child&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Not at all&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;Definitely not&lt;/em&gt;, respectively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consequently we never even tried to give to our kids everything their peers have. (Also, I have always &lt;a href=&quot;https://softwareengineering.stackexchange.com/a/104610/1512&quot;&gt;valued time with my children over salary&lt;/a&gt;, and I have many children, so I simply cannot afford it anyway.) Rather than that, we concentrate on trying to instill a self-esteem in them that is not dependent on what they have, but what kind of person they are. Yes, that will rule out peers as friends for our children that evaluate people based on what they have. We think this is a good thing, though. (Should there be no other peers than those, we'd try to find a different school for the affected child.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids have learned early on that I will not buy everything I or they take a fancy to, but I believe in children being able to deal with resource shortage, and simply include them in decision-making, or just leave decisions to them, at a rather early age. Most of us have a limited budget which we need to fit in everything we need, and think hard on what to spend the rest on. I wanted my kids to learn this as good as possible. Therefore they have a dependable &quot;budget&quot; (aka pocket money) which they can use to buy luxuries like comics, movie tickets, sweets etc. – and must use to buy things they need like pencils, ink, notebooks. Depending on their age and personality more and more responsibility is moved over to them. At a certain stage, they need to watch their budget in order to be able to buy warmer clothes in the fall, and pay for their school excursions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a compensation, I try to leave them as much freedom as possible to buy whatever they want with the money they have left. If they consider a rather pricey mobile phone contract more important than movies? &lt;em&gt;Shrug.&lt;/em&gt; Pay way too much for books or music? &lt;em&gt;Shrug.&lt;/em&gt; Clothes? &lt;em&gt;Shrug.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-12T07:32:02.393" LastActivityDate="2014-10-04T01:40:02.493" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15008" CreationDate="2014-10-02T11:18:56.360" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a preliminary: IME this is just the age around which this is worst. Young children eagerly eat everything you suggest tastes good, older children learn to experiment. In between, they wreck your nerves. &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt; I currently also have a seven year old and when it comes to being picky about food she's currently by far the worst of my children – despite the fact that just a few years ago she was much easier to deal with in that regard than some of her siblings. I remember similar phases with her older siblings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expect having to struggle with this for a few years, but if you keep demanding her to be open and try, it will eventually get better. (Remember the parental mantra: &lt;em&gt;It's just a phase. It will pass.&lt;/em&gt;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That aside, here's two questions I have: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;How does she eat bread if there's pasta on the table at dinner?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I never force my children to eat anything I cook. But I won't let them&#xA;force me to provide more than one meal at the same time either.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;What happens on the second day?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You say she stays hungry throughout the day. I don't think a hungry day is anything to worry about with a healthy child. But on the second? The third? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to look at &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14027/7982&quot;&gt;this answer of mine&lt;/a&gt; where I have written down how I deal with such situations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A different idea would be to just let her eat what she wants for a while. Often, children do not like to mix different food as we do and they can eat the same food for what seems an incredibly long time. But if they are healthy, at some point their body tells them it wants something else and will they switch. Often, that cures them of craving the one food so badly that they stuck to for so long. (Note that for most children, sweets are an exception to this &quot;rule&quot;.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I found that children eat many things they wouldn't normally eat after they helped cooking them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing I found out (the hard way) is that almost any soup is acceptable once it's pureed. (This, I think, caters to the urge to not to mix food. Once it's a single mush, it counts as &lt;em&gt;not mixed&lt;/em&gt; and is fine.) &lt;code&gt;:)&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T21:30:24.147" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15008" CreationDate="2014-10-02T12:18:38.633" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have struggled with our children being fussy. However, one of the best things we have found is that getting our kids to trust us with food has been one key. The issue was getting them to try new things. This was a struggle, but trying new forms of existing food started to open their minds  -- &quot;It's just like pizza, but it's been folded over&quot; (calzone), or &quot;It's the same as the carrot you like, but it's been mushed up&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's easy with our kids and sweet things, but once they try a new sweet thing we can then say to them about other things and say &quot;last time you tried something new it was really nice, wasn't it, so give this a chance&quot; so it's been about getting them to feel safe. The dual position is also that if they are willing to try new sweet things then they must try new savoury things or go hungry, which our kids don't like to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us it's been about getting them to feel safe, and that they don't need to have control over food or kick up a fuss over it to get attention (we've been down that road!) and that they will be healthier for their sports they do. The biggest problems we've had in the past have been when we've had a battle about food, and then whichever one it is at that time becomes much more conservative as the battle can turn into a negative attention thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are just my experiences, but I do feel for you. We haven't got the perfect family as far as food goes at all; we are all on a journey, after all and every child is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T12:18:38.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15009" CreationDate="2014-10-02T12:26:26.153" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that money is not the most important factor here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that the reason the children usually have these costly toys (and I mean toys, since most kids do little more than play on them) like smartphones, laptops, tablets, PSPs, etc. is not because their parents care about them; it's often because they actually neglect them. The device is not intended as a learning tool, but as something that allows the parents to both have more time for themselves (the kid's playing) and feel better about themselves (we provide for all of our child's needs). In short, the good of the child is sometimes not the reason; it's the parent's own selfish good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a kid goes to school, does he have time to play on his smartphone? Supposedly, no. Is it a practically good idea to bring an unnecessary high-value item to school, where it can easily be broken or even stolen? No. So why do kids have them? a) to show off, b) to play during lessons, c) to play during breaks. Is any of those something you'd want to encourage? c would perhaps be acceptable, but both a and b should be out of the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Education has little to do with it. A child will grasp using smartphones, tablets or computers very easily; there's no need to bring them to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I think the child should have limited resources, especially access to money. They should care about all their possessions, they should know their value, and they should learn the value of money. If they have all they want, they never will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you make this your approach, it's probably going to be hard for your kids. Depending on their character and their friends, they may feel neglected by you (they &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; something, and you are not able/willing to provide it) and maybe excluded from some social situations by their friends. In the long run, it will make them more responsible, independent and self-reliant. Or at least give them such opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not having the newest smartphone won't make your kids socially excluded. They will have some trouble at school, but they're not supposed to be playing with their smartphones there anyway. And they can have access to a computer at home, or a slightly older but still facebook/twitter/etc capable smartphone. They won't have the newest stuff, but it'll get the job done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last thought, perhaps the most important one: if your child's friends are going to exclude him from their social group just because he hasn't got the newest smartphone or video games, are you sure it's the social group you want them to be in? Just think about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T08:53:54.650" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T08:53:54.650" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14951" CreationDate="2014-10-02T12:48:17.480" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my household I simply expect everybody to contribute. Of course, that's only according to their abilities, and of course children should have lots of free time left. But there are chores to be done, and some of them are done by the kids. Their sole incentive doing them is that they contribute to the community they live in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the years we have experimented with many different schemes. There were family meetings where we decided who would take over which chores and responsibilities. In the end, all this wound down sooner or later. Now I just ask the younger kids to do something when it needs to be done, and expect the older ones to see themselves some of the things that need to be done. And if this doesn't work, I won't yell at them, but express my disappointment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started out to just expect them to do their part when they were very young. I remember explaining to a 3yo that the reason we do not have dessert for dinner is that he and his siblings refused to help me prepare the table – and doing this on my own used up too much of my time to allow for preparing dessert. IME a child of 3 years learns this lesson after not more than two frustrating Sunday dinners and after this will come and help when you ask. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have made it clear that I do many more things than they do which I do not like to do either, but which need to be done, because our household depends on them being done. And I have made it clear that I expect them to contribute as much a percentage of their abilities as I do. Since my abilities are so much greater, my part in this is much greater, too, and that's OK. But if they would stop contributing, I would do so, too – and they know that this would be disastrous for all of us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not that the way I deal with this problem works absolutely flawlessly. But then I would expect constant conflicts at the border between spare time and duty and as a parent I don't feel like I am allowed to duck the hassle stemming from this tension. So the kids do their share, and while they sometimes openly dislike it, they do not complain about it to me. They are not stupid and know that I can point at my share, which is much bigger than that of all of them combined. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T12:48:17.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12723" CreationDate="2014-10-02T15:30:50.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main benefit is that in our society, people are expected to eat at mealtimes. Sometimes people who eat in class, or at their desk, or on public transit are perceived as being odd or rude for doing so. People who don't eat much when they're offered a meal are also sometimes seen as being odd or rude. Being able to be hungry for a bit, or scaling what you eat at a meal or snack so as to &quot;last until&quot; the next meal, yet have an appropriate appetite then, is a skill your child should learn before they move out of your house. Furthermore, snacks outside the home are generally high fat and high sugar (chocolate bar, bag of chips, donut,...) so that a young adult who relies heavily on snacking as soon as they feel hungry may gain weight in their first few years out of the home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, you have at least ten more years to teach this skill, so you can teach it later if that makes your life easier. A hungry kid is a grumpy kid and torturing your child to teach them something is generally not the best way. When you decide you would like them to be better at &quot;lasting until&quot; a mealtime or &quot;not ruining their appetite&quot; then you should be giving them control over how much they eat. If you make them clean their plate, finish what they took, eat a whole apple at a time, etc then they are not learning how to listen to their own appetite. If you allow only one cookie at a time then again they are not listening to their own appetite. A logical conversation like &quot;there is a pot of stew on the stove that will be ready in an hour. How much do you think you need to eat so that you're not starving hungry that whole hour, but you will eat the stew when it's ready?&quot; is a lot easier with a 6 year old than a three year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing is to have a standard snack and for that to be the only thing available between meals. In my house when I was a child, it was a piece of fruit. You can have an apple or an orange or a banana or whatever is in the fruit bowl any time. But you can't have stuff that needs to be made (cooked, sliced, put into a bowl) or that causes dirty dishes. You certainly can't have cookies or chips or icecream in response to being hungry between meals. If I was truly hungry, I would eat fruit. If I was just bored or wanting a treat, I probably would decide to wait for the next meal. The rule was presented as a way to keep my parents from being short order cooks, but it also helped distinguish between being hungry and wanting to eat, while leaving the decision in my own hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T15:30:50.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12723" CreationDate="2014-10-02T15:55:02.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the largest challenge to &quot;eat when you're hungry&quot; is ensuring the overall quality of nutrition.  With the three meals a day schedule, you can largely ensure that lunch and dinner are &quot;protein/fat&quot; meals, and breakfast and snacks are &quot;energy/carb&quot; meals, and make sure all of the right bits are in there across the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In an 'eat when you want' schedule, it may be harder to ensure that, in particular as your child is smart, but not necessarily able to adequately balance want versus long term needs.  Thus, you may end up shorter in protein and longer in carbs/sweets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't necessarily a deal breaker, of course.  What it means is that you have to have a coherent plan and actively manage what the foods that your child eats, just as you would with regular meals, but likely more actively.  You need to either have rules about what foods can be eaten when, or about what kind/amount of nutritional foods must be eaten before sweet/dessert type foods - otherwise you may end up with an imbalance, too much sweets or starches too little proteins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, on the flip side, this likely will teach your child better food habits and a better ability to track their own eating and nutrition, which is a very helpful life lesson for the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T15:55:02.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15021" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-02T19:34:23.247" Score="5" ViewCount="796" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not the parent and I don't have any kids, so this is just based on what I observe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's this mother who, when her daughter (about 3 years old) starts crying and making a fuss, she'll lose her patience and try to &quot;out scream&quot; or &quot;out annoy&quot; her. In other words, she starts crying and screaming, and the mother will tell the child, &quot;I can scream louder!!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!&quot; and give those sort of responses, basically over-yelling, etc., as if it's some sort of dominating display attempt to teach the kid (e.g., &quot;I'm the parent and I can scream louder and I'm in control!!!!!!&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I notice, the child will keep crying and having a tantrum, and eventually the mother will completely neglect/ignore her by scaring her and yelling at her to stay in her room and will tell the daughter that she'll refuse to listen to her or get her anything unless she &quot;shuts up&quot; and stops crying. My assumption is the child stops crying when she's physically exhausted from it; not because she learned anything from the method. In short, the behavior doesn't change and it's not something I like being around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What happens next is the daughter keeps screaming, crying, etc., and as the duration increases, the mother will occasionally enter the room and continue screaming very loudly and angrily at her, near to the point where it's heard houses away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, is this damaging/unproductive in raising a kid? Is trying to &quot;defeat&quot; your children harmful by trying to illustrate to them that you're, say, louder, can yell louder, can be more annoying, can pull harder (in, say, a tantrum when the child is yanking stuff) or even throw stuff after the kids do it to try and &quot;teach them&quot; it's wrong by doing the same thing to a greater extent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For another example, a child has a tantrum and starts breaking stuff, and the parent gets explosively angry and starts screaming and breaking stuff in a more vicious manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the consequences of this, and how would this affect kids? More importantly, is this bad 100%?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10008" LastEditorUserId="10008" LastEditDate="2014-10-02T19:39:25.070" LastActivityDate="2016-11-28T03:51:47.677" Title="Is it wrong for a parent to partake in screaming/dominating competitions with their kids?" Tags="|parents|tantrums|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15021" CreationDate="2014-10-02T20:55:40.963" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know a lot of parents who sort of &quot;out-ridiculous&quot; their kid to remind them what a tantrum looks like to others and how unlikely it is to result in getting what they want.  In those cases, the parent isn't trying to assert dominance, and I personally don't think it's particularly harmful, but you know if that's what the parent is doing because it usually works in pretty short order to stop the tantrum, and the child usually ends up laughing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the cases where a parent &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; doing it to assert dominance, they're usually doing it for the same reason the child does:  they feel powerless and out of control.  Raising children is difficult and stressful.  Kids make the same mistakes over and over, in ways that adults would only do with malicious intent, and it can take a lot of willpower to never take it personally.  It doesn't make it right, but parents are human, and it's rare to find a parent who doesn't yell &lt;em&gt;occasionally&lt;/em&gt;.  You can probably recall a few occasions when your parents yelled at you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it becomes problematic is when it happens regularly.  Kids learn by example, and they need an example of how best to control their own feelings.  It can result in the child's will being broken, and feeling like she can't do anything right.  Also, from a pragmatic perspective if you take the emotion out of it, it's not a very effective way of getting a child to behave, and once the child is big enough not to be afraid of you, it stops working at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, it benefits both parent and child to find a calm, sustainable way of maintaining discipline, but sometimes it takes a while for the parent to figure it out, and it often changes as a child matures, or a younger sibling might respond differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are well-acquainted with that mother, you can help her by offering to babysit so she can have a break, and by helping to calm down the child.  Often this is easier for someone fresh than it is for a sleep-deprived parent who's been dealing with it all day and is at the end of her rope.  Don't try to give her advice unless she asks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are other abusive cases where a parent is asserting dominance through screaming and is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; feeling powerless or out of control.  Those manifest somewhat differently than you describe, as more of a deliberate anger that is usually much more one-sided.  For those you want to encourage a spouse to seek professional help, or alert the authorities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T20:55:40.963" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15023" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-02T21:11:56.277" Score="4" ViewCount="1138" Body="&lt;p&gt;I ask because there are some horrible, abusive, and sick parents that are in no way entitled to parenting, nor are they allowed to give good parenting advice when they have a history of childhood abuse, neglect, etc. Also, being a parent doesn't grant one automatic child psychology or behavioral expertise in raising a child as well, so there are parents that can be horrible and that's a fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why I'm asking is, some people give lots of advice and opinions on how kids should be raised, yet some don't have kids. They may have experience babysitting, etc., but never actually had any of their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this regard, is it okay for one who doesn't have any kids to give advice and opinions on raising them, etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10012" LastActivityDate="2014-10-05T02:48:37.850" Title="Is one entitled to give parenting advice when they've never had kids?" Tags="|behavior|growth|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15009" CreationDate="2014-10-02T21:24:12.507" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I first read this question, the first word that came to my mind was &lt;em&gt;bullying&lt;/em&gt;. You're in a kind of &lt;em&gt;&quot;damned if you do, damned if you don't&quot;&lt;/em&gt; position here, and you need to choose 1) what's really best for your kids, and 2) what heartache you want to face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, do you have the means, and live a lifestyle, that allows you to give your child everything other children have? If you do, were you raised that way, or did you have to work to earn it? If you don't, you should not sacrifice on the better things to 'protect' your child from the &quot;shame&quot; of having less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not a shameful thing to have less than others. It is not a shameful thing to have more, either, though many people would see it that way. But think about this from your child's point of view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What message are you sending your child if the &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; reason they have nice things is so that they will be accepted by others? It seems to me that this would say &quot;you are only acceptable to your peers if you have what they have.&quot; (Also, it will say, &quot;You get nice things because you're alive, not because you worked for them&quot;. That's also a bad message to send.) The flip side of this coin is, will your children look down on those who do not have the same things? Will they become the &lt;em&gt;bullies&lt;/em&gt; to those kids who don't have smart phones and Air Nikes? Which heartache do you want to endure, to see your child become an entitled kid, or to share in their pain when they are bullied and what you have to offer them is love, support, and a healthy view of the value of people, money and work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not a simple case of what to do about luxuries. It's a case of an entire philosophy of life. You need to decide what kind of person you hope to shape your child into, and how best to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you decide, you need to be consistent with that value system yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parenting is hard. I think it's the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I've done a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-10-02T22:06:43.650" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T22:06:43.650" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15023" CreationDate="2014-10-02T21:55:15.423" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I suppose they're entitled to give advice, but unless they have worked with children long-term, like a nanny or a teacher, or are highly credentialed, like a child psychologist, no one will pay them any attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason is kids have a sort of &quot;honeymoon period,&quot; that a babysitting experience isn't long enough to trigger.  They manage to behave okay and the babysitter manages to hold their temper okay during that time.  It's a short enough that the babysitter can pretty much continually entertain the child.  The tough decisions and the tough discipline get saved for when the parents get back.  The parents can advise on the best ways to keep their particular children under control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parenting is a completely different experience.  You can't call in sick.  You can't hang in for a couple hours until the cavalry arrives.  You &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; the cavalry.  If &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can't figure out how to get your baby to sleep, he doesn't sleep, and neither do you.  People tell you what worked for their kid and your kid might respond completely the opposite.  That goes double if your kids are adopted, or special needs, or gifted, or ADHD, or something else your friends and family have no experience with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That difference is something you can't communicate to someone who hasn't experienced it, and it's all the difference in the world.  When people tell you you'll understand when you're a parent, they're not being dismissive.  All of us remember what we thought we knew before becoming parents ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even professionals who have formally studied child development don't always have the answers.  When my son was refusing work and crying for hours at school, his teachers couldn't fix it.  They expected us to do so, because we know &lt;em&gt;our&lt;/em&gt; son better than anyone.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T21:55:15.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15023" CreationDate="2014-10-02T21:55:25.220" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first question is: &lt;em&gt;when is it right to give advice&lt;/em&gt;? The second question is: &lt;em&gt;what qualifications must you have to give advice when it's needed&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In most circumstances, it's not wise to give any advice to people who have not asked for it. If the recipient doesn't think they need it, they aren't going to listen to it anyway. All the advice giver will do is make the recipient upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Advice carries with it an element of &lt;em&gt;judgement&lt;/em&gt;, which often makes both parties feel bad. We're told not to judge someone until we've walked a mile in their shoes. I don't think that's translatable into &quot;don't give advice unless you've been there&quot;. I think a better interpretation of this is &lt;em&gt;have compassion for people&lt;/em&gt;. Don't rush to judgement. Be kind to them when you do have something critical to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell exactly from your question what you're asking, but I think it's safe to say, advice that isn't asked for is unwelcome. If you're receiving such advice, you can answer with, I've got this covered, thanks, or I think we're ok, but thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But sometimes people should speak up when they think something is wrong, and in that case, they don't need any special qualifications, just courage, compassion and wisdom.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T21:55:25.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15027" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-02T22:30:12.697" Score="6" ViewCount="441" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 and 1/2 years old, he has been &quot;reading&quot; story books since he was about 8 weeks old (sitting on my knee while i read to him), when he started talking, he started to point out names of animals, characters and what was happening in the pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment, he can go through one of his thomas the tank engine books and read the book through by describing the pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to start teaching him what words and sentences are and the basics of reading, so i can start teaching him words and have him read his books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What materials are there to help this, and when would be the best age to start (age or development stage)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10014" LastActivityDate="2021-02-10T12:01:03.803" Title="When to start teaching reading" Tags="|development|reading|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15027" CreationDate="2014-10-02T23:07:30.010" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is based on my experience with my son, who is 3.5 and does not read yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can start by teaching him to recognize letters. Alphabet books, blocks and lots of other toys have letters on them. You can also point out letters in your environment (signs).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also teach the sound the letter make - I think this is probably more important than the name of the letter. Most kids are interested in the first letter of their name (easy to associate the sound), and then the letter of names of their parents, friends, grandparents and so forth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A trick they do in my son's preschool, is when they read aloud, they follow the text with their finger, helping the kids associate the concept of words and letters leading to reading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think once he has an interest in letters, and can tell them apart you can move on to simple words (cat, hat, car). I have seen both flash card thingies and boxes with letters they can put together themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is not quite there yet where he recognizes words, but I think 2 key concepts are: recognizing letters and their sounds, and understanding the concept that letters forms words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure someone can improve/add to this answer!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-10-02T23:07:30.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15009" CreationDate="2014-10-03T07:37:19.020" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key is to make independent evaluations of the value to your child.  What other parents are buying or giving in on shouldn't be your deciding factor at all.  Marketing is driven by peer pressure and the attitude of &quot;keeping up with the Joneses&quot; will teach your children bad financial practices and set them up for an inability to succeed well in life as it tends to lead to over-spending.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, make good evaluations of the advantages it will bring your kid and work with them to make sure they understand why it is valuable to have and why they are getting it.  If they use it incorrectly, don't hesitate to take it away.  Your children need to understand that resources have value and should be obtained to help them.  If you can teach them to utilize resources wisely, you will set them up for making wise financial decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, it is good for kids to have limited funds for their own stuff so they appreciate the value of money, but sufficient to be able to learn to use money wisely.  The problem is sometimes there will be bigger ticket items that don't fit this model and that's where making them earn it by making effective use works to demonstrate the value of the resources in improving their life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, with proper parenting, a smartphone is a tremendous resource for a student.  Having constant access to the Internet gives access to a wealth of information and processing ability.  It can help with both organization and research.  Since this isn't something they would be able to afford on a limited budget, you can make them have to realize the value through appreciation of the utility.  If they simply use the phone to play games and make no effort to benefit themselves from what it provides, take it away.  If they are using it to benefit themselves and as an effective tool, continue to let them use it and learn to make it an effective tool for them.  This also necessitates highly involved parenting, monitoring how they make use of the device and helping them to understand how they can make it a valuable tool to help them in their schooling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If an item has no value to your child's development though, then it should be hard for them to get, you can make it so it isn't impossible, but you want them to understand the value of luxury items, and if it isn't important to their development, then it is a luxury item for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6411" LastEditorUserId="6411" LastEditDate="2014-10-03T07:44:12.973" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T07:44:12.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15009" CreationDate="2014-10-03T11:00:14.793" Score="37" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like the others, I disagree that you should buying your child &quot;everything&quot;. But I feel there is an important distinction other answers don't bring to the point, although some skirt it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your children asks for something &quot;everybody has&quot;, ask yourself: is it a status symbol, or a tool prerequisite for participating in an activity common among its peers? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the &lt;strong&gt;status symbol&lt;/strong&gt;, such as Nike Air shoes or Disney-themed folders, I agree that they have a low priority. I disagree that you should forbid them completely. Status &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; important to everybody, child as well as adult, and ideally, a person will get his self-esteem through a combination of internal and external validation. Relying on external validation indeed leads to major mental problems in life, but adopting a &quot;I'm good enough for myself and I don't care what the world thinks of me&quot; attitude is also dangerous, it causes the person to lose contact with social reality. So, when the child is immersed in a culture where external status symbols are extremely important (and this is common among teenagers), having a few of them is better than having none and telling him to develop a &quot;the grapes are sour&quot; reaction to the things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We cannot prevent absorbing the predominant values of the culture we live in, and he will want these things if everybody around him values showing status through ownership. So, try to frame these things as a luxury item, but one which is not forbidden just because it's &quot;bullying&quot; to have them - just something he only gets for special occasions, and not because it's super important to have it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the &lt;strong&gt;activity prerequisite&lt;/strong&gt;, I'd say this is much more important. It is not about being bullied at all. But if all classmates play the same networked game and he doesn't have it, then they will talk about it to each other all the time, and he won't be able to participate not because they are bullying him, but because he cannot contribute anything. Even if he is with good friends who genuinely want to be nice to him, he will feel excluded once the game talk starts. And children and teenagers talk about games all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeling shunned and ostracized is a very powerful negative experience for any human being, no matter what age, and it is important to prevent a child from feeling that way. So don't prevent his access to in-groups important among his circle of friends. Agree to the networked game. If everybody is talking on Facebook all the time, don't forbid a FB account because you think FB is an evil data kraken and you have sworn never to allow it in your family - if your kid doesn't get a hidden account while living with you, he'll get it first thing when he moves out for college just because he's been yearning for it all these years. But in the meantime, he'll suffer from being the outsider. And if everybody is using whatsapp instead, do get that smartphone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somebody else said that nothing but face-to-face communication is important. I disagree here. No single person - parent, child, or anybody - can determine how a group chooses to communicate. It doesn't even work in the highly disciplined corporate word, where multimillion dollar communication systems are shunned in favor of what the group dynamics choose as the best channel. If there is a network which is used by all his peers, it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; important to let him have access to this network, instead of telling him to value face-to-face only and disregard the fact that he's missing out 90% of the things everybody else is part of. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't mean that absolutely everything from this group is indispensable and has to be automatically bought. If two friends of his like kayaking and he wants to try it too, this doesn't mean you should pay 1000 euro for a child kayak + 300 euro for full neoprene equipment. You could let him have lessons or rent a boat, and see if this is maybe just a fad which goes away two months later. Or if he wants the newest HTC alu-unibody smartphone and comes with the argument that the others use whatsapp all the time, you can agree to a smartphone, but get him a cheap model or a used one. The important thing is to enable the group activity, not to use the most convenient, flashy and expensive way to do so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6775" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T11:00:14.793" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15023" CreationDate="2014-10-03T12:03:26.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer: Yes, you can give parenting advice without having children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having children doesn't automatically make someone a good parent - and not having children doesn't mean you'd make a bad parent. Having children does however provide a way for the recipient to assess how much weight to give their opinion (they're unlikely to have much credibility if their own child could have inspired &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Omen&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Omen&lt;/a&gt; though...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful, there are several considerations to make before dishing out your wisdom:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How well do you know the parent?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're a stranger, any 'advice' will often be unwelcome. This should generally be avoided unless you want to risk a less than polite response from the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try and make your advice passive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, asking a parent &quot;What age are you planning to start socialising your toddler?&quot; or &quot;Aren't you worried about the germs from that dropped dummy?&quot; gets a parent to think about the subject, without it coming across as an instruction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider what makes your approach 'better' than their current approach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone is entitled to raise their own children as they see fit (within reason), so you not agreeing with their approach isn't their problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is your advice up to date?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people recite advice that may have been the accepted practice in the 60's, 70's or 80's - ask yourself where the source of your advice comes from and when the last time you validated it was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Importantly, remember that they don't have to take your advice&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9980" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T12:03:26.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15023" CreationDate="2014-10-03T12:42:39.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is a never-been-married person entitled to give marriage advice? Is a young man who hasn't entered the work force entitled to give career advice? Is a female virgin entitled to give pregnancy advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes&lt;/strong&gt;, we live in a free country (for now) and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But it seems like you're real question is, &quot;How do I make them respect my parenting advice even though I'm not a parent?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is to &lt;em&gt;cite your source.&lt;/em&gt; If your &lt;em&gt;source&lt;/em&gt; is a well established entity that specializes in and has shown results in parenting, your advice may be better received because you're making an appeal to that entity's authority, not your own. This can be something like &quot;Well my parents used to do X and it worked out great&quot; or &quot;I read an article where if you do X with your kids they might do Y.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your &lt;em&gt;source&lt;/em&gt; is your own inexperienced, bloviated opinion, your listeners are not likely to respect that source as authoritative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T12:42:39.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15021" CreationDate="2014-10-03T13:04:12.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My question is, is this damaging/unproductive in raising a kid?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Damaging&quot; and &quot;Unproductive&quot; are subjective. We need to think in terms of &lt;em&gt;conditioning&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the mother wants to condition the child into thinking that &quot;&lt;em&gt;she-who-shouts-loudest-gets-their-way&lt;/em&gt;&quot;, then this mother is succeeding. This child will continue to believe this is normal conflict resolution until she encounters some other form of conditioning: for example, she tries the shouting match with some friends/siblings and they don't respond the way she's expecting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reality Check&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This mom is frustrated. The annoying noise, lack of sleep, and defiant attitude of the little girl is more or less causing the mom to throw a tantrum. They are both trying to lose control to gain control--like another person said, they are trying to &quot;out-ridiculous&quot; each other. The bigger, stronger, louder mom may win for now, but the little girl will eventually gain some louder pipes and the mom's strategy will backfire. It'd be best for the mom to do some serious, daily training with the girl to condition her that throwing a tantrum is not how you process feelings. Some role playing during a calm time during the day would help, like this: &quot;Little Susy--when you're feeling sad or angry, are you supposed to do &lt;strong&gt;this&lt;/strong&gt; [mom starts acting crazy] or &lt;strong&gt;this&lt;/strong&gt; [mom acts calmly]. You're supposed to do the second thing! That's right! Now you try...&quot; And they got to do this over and over, every day until it's ingrained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when the girl does eventually flip out, the mom has to be ready to dole out the calm, loving, yet strict consequences that shows the little girl that screaming and throwing a tantrum has a negative result (time out, spanking, etc...). Then more training :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastEditorUserId="7962" LastEditDate="2014-10-03T13:30:37.840" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T13:30:37.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15023" CreationDate="2014-10-03T14:09:12.220" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Absolutely yes, 100%.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Main reason being, everybody has &lt;em&gt;been&lt;/em&gt; a child, and thus has a unique perspective on how to deal with children.  Doesn't make them an expert by any means, but it's one of the few things I think everybody can have a &lt;em&gt;valid&lt;/em&gt; opinion on.  I know some very wise people who haven't had kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does it mean it's going to be 'good' advice?  Or the right solution for the specific child in question?  Of course not, but when it comes to what you consider 'common sense disciplines', everybody's advice is worth considering.  To think otherwise is to just limit your available pool of knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long ago, I freely gave (mostly unasked for) advice to my girlfriend who had a child, even though I hadn't had any.  The conditions I grew up under made me contemplate the parent-child relationship, things like trust.  I had friends who had never been 'punished' in the ways I had.  Most were malcontent and spoiled, but one of them was very wise and well behaved.  I learned a lot from &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; parents, simply by observing how they treated him.  I also had cousins, which I was responsible for, and took that responsibility seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I had more experience interacting with children than she did.  However, she felt since I didn't have kids my advice wasn't really worth considering.  Pair that with her degree in Early Childhood Education, and I was lucky to get her to even listen to me when it came to her daughter!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understood having a kid didn't come with an infusion of knowledge. Ooh, that'd be cool though, like a Matrix kind of upload.... &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;I know parenting&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;...  But like OP says, there are terrible parents out there.  Kids who had little experiencing handling children, and just ended up pregnant.  It comes down to relevant experience, which while being a parent can give, isn't the only source of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it was the arrogance of youth, but I met adults who just seemed so &lt;em&gt;foolish&lt;/em&gt; to me.  I vowed to never do things I hated as a child, like answer &lt;em&gt;&quot;why?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; with &lt;em&gt;&quot;because I said so!&quot;&lt;/em&gt;.  (I'm proud to say that I encourage my children to ask me &quot;why&quot; when they don't understand something, and I take the time to explain to them.  Alright, this is getting away from the question...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Years later, we had a child of our own.  I've changed my mind on some of the things I gave advice on.  For example, I was firmly against the habit of letting her child sleep in bed with us. I explained that she'd become dependent on our bed to fall asleep in, or just have a harder time sleeping in her own bed when it came time.  Tear the bandaid off in one go, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, with our own child, I've noticed that I've been faaaar more lenient with letting him sleep in our bed.  Was I wrong before?  .... Yes, but not because my point was &lt;em&gt;wrong&lt;/em&gt;, it was just coming from a different place.  It's a valid point, and it &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; been harder to get him to sleep comfortably in his own bed, because I let him sleep in our bed more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I was right in that sense, but I was wrong because I didn't account for the... &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;unselfish compassion&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; that I wasn't even aware &lt;em&gt;existed&lt;/em&gt; until I had a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there are things my opinion &lt;em&gt;hasn't&lt;/em&gt; changed on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10023" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T14:09:12.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15027" CreationDate="2014-10-03T15:30:21.783" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've done quite a bit of research about teaching children to read, because we are homeschooling my two daughters who don't read yet, one of which has severe brain damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ideal age to learn to read appears to be between 7 and 9 years of age, which is when children typically teach themselves to read if they have been read to frequently, the same way they taught themselves to talk by being spoken to frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, children can be taught before they pick it up naturally, and that's not particularly harmful unless it displaces play and exploration types of learning, for which children younger than 7 are much better suited than formal academics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first part of learning to read is recognizing that letters have associated sounds:  'A' says &quot;ahh,&quot; 'B' says &quot;buh,&quot; and so forth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second part is called &quot;phonemic awareness,&quot; which you can google for a more detailed explanation, but is basically recognizing that words are made up of different sounds.  An example of a phonemic awareness test is, &quot;What do you get if you take the 'rrr' off of 'rat?'&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Phonemic awareness is a developmental stage that kids naturally hit around age 3 or 4.  You can practice it, but most with most kids you just have to sort of wait until they're ready, and then not worry about it.  Kids with reading difficulties often never fully developed in this area, so remedial programs go back to focus on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that point, there is a certain degree of conflict in how to teach reading.  The biggest schism at the moment is &quot;whole language&quot; versus phonics.  The former is based off the fact that adults don't sound out words, they read the entire word in their head as a pattern.  Whole language attempts to develop that skill earlier by focusing on things like lists of sight words.  Whole language proponents would say I'm over-simplifying, which I am, but whole language theory is much richer and holistic than the way it usually ends up being implemented.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Phonics is the way you probably learned.  You sound out the word and learn the exceptions, then naturally later you start being able to recognize the entire word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was taught for a year in public school on the whole language approach and it did not work well for him.  Think of someone reading by looking only at the first two letters of every word and guessing the rest, and you'll have some idea of the result.  Again, it may have been a poor implementation of the approach that hindered him, rather than limitations of the approach itself.  We switched him to more phonics-based instruction when we started homeschooling him and now he is reading a grade level and a half ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, with my 10 year-old daughter with cerebral palsy we work more on sight words, and she doesn't do well with phonics at all.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my almost five year-old daughter, we take the approach of reading to her a lot, letting her sit in on her siblings' reading lessons if she wants, and basically letting her direct her learning at her own pace.  Last week, after I read one of her favorite books to her, she declared she wanted to read it again &quot;all by myself,&quot; and proceeded to do so, only needing help for one or two words per sentence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, every child learns best a little differently, even with the same teacher in the same family.  At this point with your son, I would teach him the sounds of the alphabet, continue reading to him a lot, and let him decide when he's ready to go further.  There's no rush.  Especially if you plan to put him into a public school where he will have to wait for the other students to catch up, the advantages of reading early are relatively short-lived.  By age 11, you typically can't tell which kids learned to read earlier than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-10-03T15:35:28.370" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T15:35:28.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15027" CreationDate="2014-10-03T15:46:42.760" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got a three year old in a similar situation: can often tell parts of the story, sometimes verbatim, but isn't ready to read yet.  I'm tempted to push him harder, because by this age I'd learned to read (and enjoyed it a lot even at this age), but it's apparent to me that he isn't really ready yet to be pushed harder.  Following his individual learning curve is important, and I suggest you do the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my son, while he's learned his alphabet, and is beginning to learn sounds, he doesn't associate words-on-the-page with words-in-the-mouth yet.  He also doesn't have phonemic awareness yet (as Karl explained quite well above), so while he knows that R says RRR, he doesn't have Rat - R -&gt; At.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm doing with him to help develop this (and you may find useful as well) is rhyming books when I can convince him to do that - ie, the cat in the hat - where you hear the same sound with a different initial letter over and over, and emphasizing the rhyming parts.  I'm also pointing out words on the page that are common; for example, we read a lot of Curious George, so I point out George and Monkey (one or the other usually) and sometimes get him to say the word (as he does learn to recognize it, or at least recognizes that I'm trying to get him to say the word!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also encouraging his creative side, in the hope that it helps him to develop a love of stories.  He is a natural story teller, and likes to make up stories (usually involving Curious George or his family members, plus something we just saw or talked about).  I help him out by creating some stories of my own (making up Thomas or Curious George stories is very easy, thank you formulaic storytellers) and by asking him questions about his made-up world or story.  This isn't reading exactly, but it does develop skills that will be useful in fiction reading later on (following storylines, character identification, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T15:46:42.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15027" CreationDate="2014-10-03T16:32:51.433" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;here's a game I made up:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;take 10 3-letter nouns of things around the house -- bed, tub, mat, cat, etc -- and print them out on your printer in fairly large (36pt) type. attach each word to the object in the house, or an object that represent its ('cat' went on the cat bowl)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;then print one sheet of paper with all 10 words on it, and tape it up at kid's eye-level on the back of a closet door. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal of the game is to read all 10 words on the back of the door. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the kid gets stuck on a word, they have to hunt around the house for the word, repeating the letters, eg: B - E - D, until they find the object associated with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they find the object, they come back to the 10-word list, and start from word 1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's how my kids learned their first 10 words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="356" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T16:32:51.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15040" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-03T19:08:30.960" Score="6" ViewCount="51661" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have great milk supply, but these are my issues:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My son has barely ever slept more than 30-40 minutes at once during the day. :( &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(At night time he does sleep for 3 hrs at least once. But generally every time he falls asleep after feeding I try to put him down, but he won't stay asleep unless I hold him on my chest. He wakes up almost 5-10 min into placing him down and rooting and giving signs like he hasn't eaten for a whole day. Then I feed him again etc and so this goes in circles.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I am aware of the growth spurts but this is going on since birth. Is this ever going to shift?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has gained weight, has perfect amount of dirty diapers etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read that other babies sleep 2-3 hrs straight, feed, then sleep again. I wish I could say the same.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also he shakes his head while my nipple is in his mouth and gets frustrated, cries, bangs his head with my nipple in his mouth... :confused: (this happens after like 3-4 hrs of straight feeding=him hopping from one nipple to the other after loooong hours...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line is, he doesn't sleep in his bassinet or on his very own unless I hold him. What can I do? I'm getting tired and a bit frustrated too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10034" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T15:55:07.427" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:42:13.610" Title="How can I make my 3 weeks old to sleep on his own?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15040" CreationDate="2014-10-03T19:52:17.380" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;So this doesn't seem too unusual to me. Many babies prefer to be held, and some more than others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/how-to-swaddle-your-baby-gallery&quot;&gt;swaddling&lt;/a&gt;? The feeling of being wrapped mimics the feeling in the womb, and my babies would not sleep without being swaddled. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;have you tried a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=baby%20swing&amp;amp;FORM=HDRSC2&quot;&gt;swing&lt;/a&gt;? Some babies really like the gentle rocking motion (again, this mimics the feeling of the womb), there are many different models available. It didn't really work for any of my babies, but for some babies this is the magic bullet.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried a pacifier? Your description of him eating for long hours and then getting frustrated seem to indicate he does a lot of non-nutritional sucking, he sucks for comfort. He might not want more food, but want to suck. A pacifier will help. Speaking form experience: A pacifier will not ruin the latch, it will not cause nipple confusion, and to get them used to it you have to start early!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does he sleep in a stroller/pram? We used both a traditional pram, where the baby lies flat, and the infant car seat (bucket seat) stroller attachment. Both babies loved to sleep while walking. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Related to sleeping in stroller/pram: Have you tried putting him to sleep in the stroller/car seat/pram outside? In Scandinavia it is quite common to have babies (in appropriate clothing/blankets/sleeping bags of course) take naps outside in their prams, even when it is quite cold. My second baby really slept much better outside than inside. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you have anything you can do while he sleeps on you? I read a lot of books on my iPad, and played a lot of little games. It was nice and relaxing and just what I needed right after birth. I just sat there with him. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babywearing&quot;&gt;baby wearing&lt;/a&gt;? My issue with holding while sleeping was not so much me not getting sleep as me needed to get stuff done around the house. Wearing my baby helped me do that, and he slept great. I used a &lt;a href=&quot;http://mobywrap.com/&quot;&gt;Moby wrap&lt;/a&gt; when they were very young, and an &lt;a href=&quot;http://store.ergobaby.com/&quot;&gt;Ergo&lt;/a&gt; when a little older, but there are many great products available. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For sleeping at night, consider &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/safe-co-sleeping-habits&quot;&gt;safe co-sleeping&lt;/a&gt;. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/Pages/Default.aspx&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; does not recommend it, but it other countries it is less controversial. It may allow you both a little more rest.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly: &lt;strong&gt;Remember this doesn't last forever&lt;/strong&gt;. Having a newborn is &lt;em&gt;exhausting&lt;/em&gt;, and they do want constant care, holding and so forth. They will gain their independence, they will sleep more. Some babies earlier than others, but eventually sleep will happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T19:52:17.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15009" CreationDate="2014-10-03T19:55:30.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child is going to learn how to face the world based on how you face the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, did you buy an iPad because everyone else has one or because it was a tool to use?  Do you buy a particular shirt because it has a logo on it or because that was an appropriate shirt?  Do you buy a particular pair of shoes because they say &quot;Nike&quot; or because those were the best ones for what you intend to use them for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, if you acquire things based on what others have then it doesn't matter if you give them an iPad or not as you are already telling them what's important.  If, however, you buy things based on what they do &lt;em&gt;for&lt;/em&gt; you and the reasons you picked that particular item are based on your needs then that sends a very different signal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my household, when we make a purchase it is primarily because there exists a need.  After the need is identified then we pick the best possible option, not based on what the neighbors might have, but rather based on how it fulfills it's purpose.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking shoes as an example, my kids run cross country.  The shoes they have are expensive but they weren't purchased based on brand name; they were purchased based on fit and comfort.  As a rule, we don't buy logo'd shirts or pants.  The clothing we do wear is nice, it just doesn't have &quot;hollister&quot; or &quot;pink&quot; written across it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are certainly purchases we make that are purely for entertainment value.  Generally the kids will earn money through chores and they are free to spend it as they wish.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just FYI - we can certainly afford to buy whatever clothes, shoes or whatever else we want.  If I wanted each of my kids to have their own iPad, iPhones or hollister shirts then that would definitely not be a problem.  It's just that we, as a family, place zero value on acquiring stuff just because that's what other do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the &quot;bullying&quot; aspect of it.  Yes, there is certainly peer pressure for people to spend every single dollar they get in order to plug into the latest fad.  Interestingly though, most research shows that generally the people that fall into that trap are on the lower income scale than those that don't.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/s/schor-overspent.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/s/schor-overspent.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9005" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T19:55:30.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15040" CreationDate="2014-10-03T20:17:54.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You probably need to accept that baby wants to be sleeping with you and learn to simplify the feeding process, such as by co-sleeping. This can last 2 years, but it does end, as @Ida says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To add to @Ida's answer, make sure that your partner is taking a fair share of the load to give you a chance to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time. This may include taking the baby for a walk or drive for over 1 hour so that you can sleep. Taking baby for a walk might be better, because it can be dangerous to leave a young one in a car seat for so long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-10-03T20:17:54.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15044" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-03T20:21:07.790" Score="2" ViewCount="2606" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6-year-old who will be 7 in less than 6 months. She has always been a very smart girl... She went to preschool for 3 years. She was very close to the teacher (since she was an infant) so I feel as though some of her behavior there has gone unannounced to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since she started kindergarten last school year and the first few months of 1st grade, this year has been a struggle for her when it comes to her behavior... I. e., not focusing on the teacher or talking to the other children during independent work times. But yet every midterm or grade card is spot on academically. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last week was Grandparents Day and my mom said during the morning routine she was looking around the room and whispering but when the teacher asked a question she raised her hand and answered correctly... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried all types of punishment but nothing's worked. My husband and I are open to suggestions!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10038" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-08T21:11:15.460" LastActivityDate="2019-05-26T18:03:08.953" Title="What to do about my 6-year-old acting up at school?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="15045" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-04T06:39:01.057" Score="7" ViewCount="3496" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been pregnant for 38 weeks and 3 days. I booked my plane ticket a while back to go to New York in December and I am bringing my baby with me, but by the time we go to there and he will be about 7 weeks old. My question is whether he will he be safe flying? Are there any precautions I should take?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10043" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-05T17:38:52.297" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T17:29:45.103" Title="Is plane flight safe for a newborn?" Tags="|newborn|health|safety|travel|flying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15047" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-04T16:11:37.297" Score="2" ViewCount="278" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am an English as a Second Language teacher in Indonesia. Currently, in my class I have a girl who is in third grade who I think (I don’t know because there is no sort of diagnosis here) SM. I want to help this girl as much as I can but there are a few things which make it more difficult that perhaps someone here might be able to give me hints on how best to move forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, I only meet her for 35 minutes a day teaching her and her class English. I have no opportunity to have any time on my own with her and I am under pressure to teach the whole class English as a second language so just not much time at all. Second, I have no chance what so ever to speak to her parents. Her form teacher just says she is shy and there is no need to speak to her parents or spend any extra time with her. Third, I can only speak to her in English so I don’t know how much she is understanding when I am reassuring her that she is in a safe situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The positives though are that when I give her instructions she seems to follow them so I think she is understanding a lot of what I say. Second, she seems to like me, she likes sitting close to me when we are all reading together and often tugs on my arm if she wants me to look at her work. Third, she has just started nodding and shaking her head (only about 25% of the time but I think that is great progress).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I usually do (Please tell me if you think I am doing anything wrong!) I talk to her just in the same way as I chat to the other students, giving a pause if she wants to give me an answer but when she doesn’t just continue chatting, giving her praise for good work or commenting on her cute bracelet or whatever. Second, I try and tell her and her friends that she is welcome to speak at any time she feels comfortable but it is also no problem that she keeps her thoughts to herself. I try and involve her in anything I can as sometimes the other students leave her out but I have a very demanding class so I have to confess that sometimes she gets left out a bit since I am teaching communicative English and the majority of my lessons involve talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing I want to ask, since she seems a little closer to me she has started wondering around more and not focusing on her work. Before, if it was something written she would sit on her seat and give it a try but since she has started nodding and tugging on my arm she seems to wonder more and not sit down as much. What can I do? I try to say to her calmly that she has to sit down and focus like her friends but I just don’t know what is the best thing to say to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read on a blog that I could give her some cards for asking to go to the bathroom etc so I plan on doing that but I would love any other ideas from anyone who has them! Thank you for reading!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10047" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-28T13:11:03.393" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T13:11:03.393" Title="Selective mutism- helping a little girl feel comfortable in my esl class?" Tags="|school|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-03-20T20:36:04.013" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4230" CreationDate="2014-10-04T16:34:30.723" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in Indonesia and I have a son who is 15 months old. My native language is English but I can speak Indonesian and Javanese too (the local language here which is pretty close to Indonesian). His dad is Indonesian and speaks all three languages also but the grammar in English is not perfect. The majority of the other people around him speak Indonesian and Javanese except a few of my expat friends but he doesn't meet them that often. He uttered his first words at 12 months and now at 15 months is speaking in all three languages. He can't make sentences as such but can get his message across. For example the other day he heard the ice cream man outside the house and shouted to me 'Ice, ice, ice, shoes ON! OUT OUT!' He can say a lot in Indonesian and Javanese too. He understands all three also. He will easily follow instructions in any language that you use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I worry about your case is that there are no other sources of Ukrainian which is what I think will make your case more difficult but not impossible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I think is use your intuition with your own child. If you feel using all the languages is working out as a lot of effort and taking time away from just enjoying the time with your child and teaching him English and Russian then just leave it for now. If it feels easy and natural for you then go for it. Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10047" LastActivityDate="2014-10-04T16:34:30.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15045" CreationDate="2014-10-04T22:07:41.167" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please note that some airlines will not let you breastfeed on a flight, regardless of what is said when you purchase a ticket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the first few weeks of a newborn's life, usually the baby's doctor prefers that she be kept in relative isolation (friends and family). Flying is a particular risk because of crowding and recirculated air. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, it's fine to take her out into the public provided that the baby is healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Flying is also problematic for infants and young children because of the pressure changes that occur in the cabin and the decreased relative oxygen concentration in the cabin at usual flying altitudes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding cabin pressure changes which can cause pain in the baby's ears, it's recommended that babies swallow frequently on takeoff/climbing, but especially on descent/landing. Parents can help her do this by feeding/pacifier or nursing. The lower cabin pressure also means gas expands in her intestines, so make sure to burp her well when you do feed her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oxygenation can be a problem if your baby has any heart or circulatory abnormalities, if she is premature (at 38 weeks, she is no longer premature), has complications during delivery, or if she has an underlying respiratory condition, in which case your baby's doctor might recommend postponing air travel until age 1 or later, or perhaps earlier with supplemental oxygen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though it was common in the past to hold an infant throughout flight, the Federal Aviation Administration recommends that infants ride in properly secured FAA-approved safety seats, which might mean the airline recommends you buy a seat for her, or they might seat you next to an empty seat for free. (Unless the flight is sold out, airlines will usually accommodate this request.) Either way, try to get a seat in the front of the cabin (more leg room and less noise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most pediatricians do not recommend sedating your baby for traveling, partly because babies can have a paradoxical reaction to sedation (instead of sleeping, they get hyper).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doctors usually have hand-outs with recommendations for parents for situations just like this. You might ask about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read the information in the links below, and remember, information you get on the internet isn't a substitute for your doctor's recommendations. Make sure your baby is safe to fly by checking with her doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.minnesotamedicine.com/Past-Issues/Past-Issues-2011/June-2011/Children-and-Airplanes-Are-We-Having-Fun-Yet&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children and Airplanes: Are We Having Fun Yet?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/air-travel-with-infant/faq-20058539&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-traveling-with-a-newborn&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ask Dr. Sears: Traveling With a Newborn&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T17:29:45.103" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T17:29:45.103" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15047" CreationDate="2014-10-04T22:52:44.583" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6yo has SM.  First, if she has SM, you should give up any expectation that she might talk in your class. Without the chance for her to practice whispering in front of you, it is not likely she will make that leap.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;     Let her know that you will sometimes ask her a question but that she can find other ways to answer if she is not ready to speak.  The less pressure she feels the better she will do.  Writing answers, multiple choice, etc are her best bet to participate at first.  Many SM are also painfully shy so that may prevent from even making eye contact.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;     The basic idea is to keep her as involved as you can without pressing her to do more than what she can at that moment.  It's a very slow process and nearly impossible to make real progress if you don't have a chance to spend some quiet time with her playing a game like Uno or something that allows some interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10050" LastActivityDate="2014-10-04T22:52:44.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15009" CreationDate="2014-10-04T23:59:31.423" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes if you want your child to be another mindless consumer drone. Lets all buy into the status quo after all it fuels the corporate profits. Seriously people wake up and smell the roses, oh yeah another great corporate created holiday roses on valentines day :) Lets spend 49.99 on a dozen of roses when you can buy the whole bush from the nursery for 5.99&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take your kid to the Appalachian mountains where they can learn the true value of life. Don't feed your kid the BS status Quo you were raised to buy into. Yes lets get them all Ferraris so they can believe they are on 90210, geez you can buy 3 houses to live in for the price of one of those. Its all about perspective I guess. But what is really important in life, should we be teaching our children the label is the most important thing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is what their peers think so important. Is being a individual such a bad thing? Ten years after school who is going to remember wether you wore nikes or had a ipad versus a Samsung. If that's all they remember were they really worth knowing? How can you say shallow? Buy the individual parts have your child assemble them and I will bet he/she will take much better care of whatever it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had this neighbor who was extremely wealthy, he bought his son a Porsche for his 16th birthday, before they could even get it registered and insured the kid snuck out and totaled it, within a week they bought him another one. With in 3mos roundabouts, he tore it up fried the transmission from doing donuts. Of course they got it fixed. My point being no one handed me my first car, it was a rusted out 1976 buick electra yellow bananna boat with 96k miles on it. But you know what I took care of it and cherished it as if it were a brand new Porsche, why you may ask? Because I worked hard for it. Unlike the neighbors, my parents knew the value of working for something. Guess that's the difference between being born with a brass spoon versus a gold diamond encrusted one. I live a simple life and have socked away enough cash to live the remainder of my life without worrying. I am not in debt, indeed I don't have the fanciest stuff, but I tell you what I don't worry about losing what I have as its paid for. Anyone seen the national debt guess what none of its mine :)      &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10051" LastActivityDate="2014-10-04T23:59:31.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15023" CreationDate="2014-10-05T02:48:37.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, everyone imagines that they would be a certain kind of parent, its one thing when you know that since its not your child he/she will go home sometime, so you throw your perspective out there from some idea logic scenario. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you become a parent all those ideals and concepts are off the table. Unless you have been there and walked in a parents shoes, you are clueless. Just because you were once a child or even if you were raised by the best parents in the world, until you are a parent with those responsibilities you have no grounds for giving advice that is regurgitated from some book or certification class. It's not the same and kids don't come with manuals, not is any make or model the same. Sorry no cookie cutter solution for raising a wee one. Even if you do have children this doesn't necessarily make you qualified to give out advice, no 2 children are the same nor are the issues or solutions. Give me advice on how to raise my child and I will send them home with you, call you in another month and see how your advice has changed ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-05T02:48:37.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15055" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15056" CreationDate="2014-10-05T09:12:42.823" Score="3" ViewCount="876" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 4 month old baby and she is starting to turn around. We are worried when she goes to bed now that she might turn on her front (she never turned around 100% yet, only to her side) at night when she is sleeping in her bed and might suffocate then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I put he on her belly, she will hold her head up quite nicely for a minute or so, but then get tired and put her head face-down on the carpet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there an actual risk that she might suffocate in bed? How would the baby react if she turns on her belly with her face downwards? Where would I be able to read more about this online?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7212" LastActivityDate="2014-10-05T11:26:50.963" Title="Risks of suffocation when the baby starts turning around" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15055" CreationDate="2014-10-05T11:26:50.963" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is little risk of suffocation so long as you place their feet to the foot of the bed, use a hard mattress and keep the bed/cot free of obstructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advice for placing a child on their back to sleep is due to a correlation between that and the number of deaths attributed to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).  SIDS is not suffocation and it is recorded separately.  Correlation is also not causation and, despite a great deal of research, scientists still know very little about the causes.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4044/what-are-the-risks-of-putting-a-newborn-baby-to-sleep-on-their-front&quot;&gt;What are the risks of putting a newborn baby to sleep on their front?&lt;/a&gt; is a good starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once a child is old enough to turn themselves over then they have the strength and mobility to control their own position enough that any risk factors decrease greatly.  You can't reasonably be expected to stay up all night watching them to flip them back so as long as you put them to sleep on their backs that's enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-10-05T11:26:50.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15059" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15063" CreationDate="2014-10-05T22:18:32.020" Score="33" ViewCount="5173" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a follow up to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/707/when-should-you-start-talking-with-your-children-about-sex&quot;&gt;When should you start talking with your children about sex?&lt;/a&gt;.  Is it better for parents to preemptively educate children about taboo subjects such as drugs, alcohol, sex, or profanity before they are exposed it in school?  Or is it better to let them discover them on their own through their friends?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9849" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T16:01:59.383" Title="Should children be preemptively taught about drugs, alcohol, and sex?" Tags="|sex|drugs|alcohol|profanity|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15062" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-06T04:43:30.023" Score="9" ViewCount="249" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to know if there is something out there that collects scientific evidence for most types of &quot;policies&quot; or &quot;interventions&quot; in parenting.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I would love to see a repository with something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Intervention/Treatment&lt;/em&gt;: Ferber method&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Hypothesis:&lt;/em&gt; Baby will cry less after applying treatment&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Strength of the evidence:&lt;/em&gt; low/medium/high&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Main studies confirming:&lt;/em&gt; link1, link2, ...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Main studies refuting:&lt;/em&gt; link1, link2, ...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Intervention/Treatment&lt;/em&gt;: Spanking kids for disciplinary purposes&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Hypothesis:&lt;/em&gt; Will affect negatively the baby's/kid's physical and mental health&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Strength of the evidence:&lt;/em&gt; low/medium/high&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Main studies confirming:&lt;/em&gt; link1, link2, ...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Main studies refuting:&lt;/em&gt; link1, link2, ...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would appreciate any pointers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9762" LastActivityDate="2017-02-20T23:11:31.870" Title="Repository for scientific evidence in parenting" Tags="|development|research|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15059" CreationDate="2014-10-06T07:07:12.010" Score="45" Body="&lt;p&gt;These things you list are a part of our lives, either because we use/do them or other people we know or see use/do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discovering things through friends is rarely a good idea. That's how myths are spread, &quot;you can't get pregnant the first time&quot;, &quot;masturbation will make you impotent&quot;, ... &quot;drugs are good&quot;. You should give your children the important information yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drugs, alcohol and other substances which alter our behavior(energy drinks, pepsi, coffee, antihistamines, painkillers, etc. etc.) should in my opinion be discussed with kids. I think that a child around 10 is perfectly capable of understanding how alcohol or drugs work and what they can cause. Perhaps even earlier. But don't go into much details about drugs until some time later, I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children should definitely know about sex. Girls should know &quot;the general idea&quot; (penetration, sperm, egg, fertilization) before they begin menstruating, I think. Perhaps have the &quot;sex talk&quot; along with the &quot;period&quot; talk. And since it's not obvious when will that happen, 9-10 yo is a good age. For boys - it can be a year or two later. Watch the pajamas for the new kind of night wetting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child asks you &quot;uncomfortable&quot; sex or other adult questions on his/her own, use this as an opportunity to have a talk about those subjects. Say the truth, though, possibly, skip some age-inappropriate facts. Use common sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Profanity is probably a part of their lives already. Even if you don't swear, they do hear it on the street. It should be addressed very early, at 3 years of age? A kid will catch the swear words very quickly and easily. Let them know that they shouldn't be used (...too much).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, as in many things in life, it is a good idea to limit the information given to the necessary minimum and let the unimportant rest be learned through friends or Internet. &lt;em&gt;As much as necessary, as little as possible&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-07T05:53:08.100" LastActivityDate="2014-10-07T05:53:08.100" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15044" CreationDate="2014-10-06T07:26:33.927" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a general rule, before I think of negative consequences for any of my children (BTW, I prefer &quot;natural consequences&quot; over parental punishment) due to repeated unwanted behavior, I ask myself: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Why is this child behaving in a way I consider wrong?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; You need to get at the root of the problem, rather then clipping away the shoots coming from them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have provided rather limited information about your daughter, so it is hard to even speculate about the causes of her behavior. One reason, however, could be that her school simply isn't demanding enough for her. If it is easy for her to grasp what the teachers say, she would be bored by the repetitions necessary for other children, which in turn could lead to her whispering to other children just to kill the boredom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's the case (and I don't know whether it is), then the best possible outcome of punishment would be that she learns to withdraw into herself in order to be quiet when she is bored, rather than interacting with other people. Not exactly a desirable outcome, if you ask me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A better way to deal with this might be to talk to the teachers, compare your observations, and together with them try to find ways to tap into what seems an unused potential of your child. (As an idea: I remember one teacher bringing a book for me for the reading exercises. So while the others children tried hard to read the humble textbook stories that I had quickly ploughed through during the first three lessons of the year, I read the very interesting books that the teacher kept providing me with. The result was that I was busy reading and therefore stopped causing problems out of sheer boredom.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2014-10-06T07:26:33.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15059" CreationDate="2014-10-06T08:08:17.347" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Who do you think will be more likely to provide answers in a way that you would want your children to learn about drugs and sex, you as the children's parents or their peers (whose parent's might also evade the subject)? I don't know about you, but I trust my judgment on and knowledge about these subjects more than those of other children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, given your question is about &quot;children&quot;, this leaves a lot of wiggle room. Are we talking about a 5 year old who noticed her uncle acting funny at his dad's birthday party or are we talking about a teenager who might have access to drugs and sex (porn) if they want to? As a general rule, I wait for children to raise a question. And I make sure I &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;only answer the child's exact question&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, and do not evade the question nor pile knowledge on the child it hadn't asked for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is, if a 2yo asks where babies come from, &quot;they grow in their mummy's tummy&quot; is likely to be exhaustive. A 4yo will likely ask how they get into their mother's belly, or how they start growing. My first take on this would be &quot;it takes a woman and a man being in love for a baby to get started&quot;. If the child wants to know more, it will follow up with a question. If the child does not want to know more, the description of the mechanism of sex might be too much for its age/maturity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IME, if you do this from the moment they ask their first question, you do not need to worry about when you should teach what subject to them: You just let them guide you through their education by having them ask you. Of course, reality isn't as smooth as this sounds. Still, this seems a lot better than wondering year after year when to finally breach the news to them that adults have sex and that all their peers are the results of this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my oldest got interested in the details of making babies around the age of 8. Her next sibling just came to listen because he was interested, but when it got too detailed, he just went back to playing because he got bored. (He could do so because I wasn't talking to him.) OTOH, I have a ten year old now who had had a look at the book we bought for his oldest sister for about three times in the last two years, and always got bored by the subject. He's just not interested enough. (He does, of course, know the basics: why he's built different than his sisters, what's that for, etc. – he just isn't interested in any more detailed knowledge about love and sex.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2014-10-06T08:08:17.347" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15059" CreationDate="2014-10-06T10:00:02.660" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sitting children down to &quot;tell them the facts of life&quot; or educate them about drugs etc is a stressful proposition for parents and children alike; it often feels confrontational and uncomfortable for all involved.  A &lt;em&gt;proactive&lt;/em&gt; education is very important in some areas and a &lt;em&gt;reactive&lt;/em&gt; approach (responding to their questions) is better in others but which occurs when depends on your circumstances...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In sex education it is vital to ensure children understand their intimate privacy and what is appropriate / inappropriate contact long before they have any need to know the mechanics of reproduction.  It is not something that we ought to wait for children to ask about as they may not do so, especially as most abuse cases happen at home or with people victims know well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other subjects are less clear-cut like Alcohol... Parents who drink responsibly teach children what the effects are by example.  They show what the changes in behaviour are and that if you overdo it there are consequences (even if only a bit of a hangover.)  Parents who don't drink or hide it away need to consciously make an effort to bring it up to ensure that it doesn't remain some taboo, but is considered something to be treated with respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2014-10-06T10:00:02.660" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15009" CreationDate="2014-10-06T10:20:44.930" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the delivery room where I had my babies, there was a sign; &quot;You don't need to rear kids, they just copy everything you do.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Without making a judgement on this) if you are the sort of person to whom possession of status symbols is important, then your kids will be too. Period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can say &quot;I don't need a new X because the old X is still working&quot;, your kids will find it quite natural to say this too. If you can say &quot;I don't need an iDevice, the others are just as good and cheaper&quot; and then not buy an iThing, then your kids will be happy with this. If you can say &quot;I can't afford a new X this year because the roof needs fixing, and the roof has priority&quot; your kids will be able to adopt this as a philosophy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your kids really need smartphones to have friends, there are plenty of cheaper products; no-names, used ones, last year's model... And then you won't be so sad if it gets stolen/lost/broken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2014-10-06T10:20:44.930" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15069" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-06T14:05:33.173" Score="5" ViewCount="3031" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a certified childrens aerobics instructor, but I also have a background in part time dance and gym teaching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other day I was coaching my 8-year-old daughter and her two teammates in her three-girl group. I got the girls to start off doing stretches and warm-ups when one of them let out a fart which made them all start to laugh, getting our lesson sidetracked. Later on when we were in the middle of the routine I could smell a really stinky smell and concluded that one of the girls must have farted again, interrupting the good progress we had made that lesson. I had to stop practice, because they preceded to start arguing over who'd done it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kind of gave-up at this point and just sent them all of to the potty for a break because they were getting silly. I had to spray the gym out with air freshener, because it really was starting to smell, and I waited for the girls to come back. We have regular talks about dietary needs at class as well and what to eat before, at and after training days, so why are these girls always so gassy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10069" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2014-10-07T01:16:09.493" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T21:22:17.627" Title="Dealing with gassy children during practice?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15069" CreationDate="2014-10-06T14:28:45.377" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that teaching children about a healthy diet is a great first step. But on the same note, some of the foods that are really healthy (whole grains, deep green vegetables) are gassy foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for gas sneaking out during practice. I (late 20s) take an adult (mom-grandma ages) yoga class and sometimes during those stretches gas sneaks out. I personally have excellent control over that aspect of my body, but sometimes when you're doing an upside down reverse inverted cat dog pose, there is nowhere in your intestine for that gas to go but out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How we handle it as adults is that we ignore it. Because, hey, it's natural and everyone does it, especially during exercises. So while kids are likely to giggle, that's not a bad reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is a bad reaction is trying to single out someone who did it. Because now they're guilty of something bad and everyone's pointing fingers at them. This is embarrassing to a little girl and could lead to bullying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you try to ignore it. If it's super obvious who did it, ask them to say excuse me and move on. This is the adult way to handle it. And if it's a constant issue, go over healthy diets again and put a glade plugin in the nearest outlet before class starts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2014-10-07T01:15:59.263" LastActivityDate="2014-10-07T01:15:59.263" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15045" CreationDate="2014-10-06T16:53:56.040" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;@anongoodnurse's answer is great, but I want to add some things from personal observation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I have flown with a baby as young as 4 months, and it was not an issue. The younger the baby is the easier, since they sleep more. I think a 7 week baby will be fine (provided no health issues, not pre-mature and so forth).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;ask you pediatrician if there is any vaccinations he would give earlier ( I think we had an 8 week appointment, s/he might want to do those vaccinations earlier)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I have never been in trouble nursing on planes. I have flown with Delta, KLM, Lufthansa, British Airways, Virgin America and Alaskan. I never covered up. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you don't nurse, you can bring milk/food for your baby that is over 3 oz/100 ml through the security checkpoint (in US and most countries), but you must be travelling with the baby, and you have to be able to open the container. I have heard of people being asked to drink it, but they should have a chemical checker thing they wave around above it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend buying a seat for children over age 1 if you travel more than 4 hours. For Infants you will mostly want to hold them, though it is SAFER to have them in an airline approved car seat. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In the US, the airlines does NOT provide you with an infant seatbelt (which attached to your own) in my experience. I have only seen this flying in Europe. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you bring a car seat, be SURE it is approved by FAA when travelling in the US. If you travel internationally, be SURE it is approved by the air travel authority in the carriers home country (for instance, British Airways did not care one bit if our car seat had an FAA approved sticker on - luckily it was still appropriate).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you don't buy a seat, you still need a ticket for the baby. Adding: Some 3rd party websites does not allow you to purchase lap infant tickets. Some carrier websites does not allow it either. Best bet is to book by phone directly from carrier. (I have not tried booking lap infant tickets from a non-online travel agency). Flying domestically in the US a lap infant (under 2) is usually free. Flying internationally most times I have paid 10% of ticket price (and got an extra 10lbs bag allowance for checked bags) for lap infants. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can use the birth certificate as ID if you fly domestically for the TSA check if your baby doesn't have a passport. You need a passport flying internationally regardless of the age. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;All airlines I have been with allowed me to bring a carseat and a stroller for free. Even if I did not bring the carseat on the plane, we have been needing them at the destination, and have much preferred this to renting. For strollers, most airplanes/airports allow you go gate check the strollers, that way you can have your baby in the stroller all the way to the gate, and will get the stroller back at the gate too at your destination/ I have not been in the US airport that did not do this, but I have been in international ones where you had to pick up the stroller at the luggage. Car seats/stroller (not gate checked) will sometimes need to checked in/retrieved at the odd size luggage counter, it depends on the airport.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bring multiple changes of clothes for the baby, and if possible a change for you, in your hand luggage. First time baby 1 had a poop explosion was on an airplane... &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;on that note: bring twice as many diapers as you think you need in your hand luggage. Especially if you have a stop over - we got delayed in London for a day with a 3.5 year and a 13 months old, I was glad we had packed lots of diapers in our carry ons! &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-10-08T16:08:15.573" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T16:08:15.573" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15059" CreationDate="2014-10-06T16:57:53.317" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the other advice in this topic is excellent but a small item to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This shouldn't need to be said but there seem to be a lot of parents in this world who prefer to try to control their children through lies. If you lie about sex, drugs and alcohol once they catch you in one lie they won't trust your other advice on the matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9011" LastActivityDate="2014-10-06T16:57:53.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14967" CreationDate="2014-10-06T20:18:31.977" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember my experience of when I was having writing classes on the school pretty well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the teacher made critics to my text, it was often impossible to turn the critics into something practical for my text. Frustration then emerged on me, and I hated writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Text writing, I believe, is one of the fields where critics are most often useless for making yourself better at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the year of 2003, I had to prepare to the admittance exam of an elite university. I have tried for two years to get better at it, but I just gave up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, the teacher started putting the best texts in a board so that everybody could see it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took me exactly ONE reading of a best text to get an immediate feeling of how a good text should be. Since then, all tests that I wrote became incredibly better!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;So, if you want to inspire your kid, you should encourage her to read best-seller books on the topic that she writes, or taking a time together to find writers that inspires her. Having an example of what is good is very useful, while only hearing critics is worst than useless.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is another community in Stack Exchange called writing which might be helpful for you too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionaly, It could be that your kid is still developing her style, and if you interfere too much, the person will get stagned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastActivityDate="2014-10-06T20:18:31.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12741" CreationDate="2014-10-06T20:30:31.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old doesn't sleep well but I find that this works.  I recommend you give her a bath at 7pm to relax her as a shower will wake her up. Then it is time for you and the baby until 7:30.  Then take your daughter up to bed after teeth brushing for story time and a cuddle, just you and her. She shouldn't have any food after brushing her teeth or before bed as this will give her energy.  She should only have a sip of water, otherwise she will need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  She should have lights out by 8 or 8:30pm at the latest as she needs at least 10 hours sleep for her age to thrive in school and have brain function.  She needs to learn to stick to this routine for couple of weeks and she should get used to it. Children need a good bedtime routine. Hope this helps. Good luck.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10073" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2014-10-07T01:15:50.970" LastActivityDate="2014-10-07T01:15:50.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15077" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-07T12:40:09.487" Score="5" ViewCount="1071" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am writing here because I have tried everything there is. I am 22 weeks pregnant and my 2 yo (he will turn 2 on the 12th of October) weights 17 kg so I cannot handle him easily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here it is: he's always been a bad, really bad sleeper. We got him to sleep in his cot alone, but he won't go to bed if I (or sometimes he accepts my husband) hold his hand.&#xA;Since my tummy is getting bigger and bigger I find it difficult to stay in that position. Furthermore, we are thinking of moving him into his own room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, he can jump from his cot extremely easily, so I cannot just leave him in the cot and wait outside his room because he will follow me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone been through something similar? What worked for you? Also I want to do this sooner and avoid him thinking he is thrown out of the room by the coming of the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10071" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-10-16T17:46:46.223" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:43:13.633" Title="How to help a 2 year old go to bed alone" Tags="|toddler|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15078" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-07T13:24:30.330" Score="3" ViewCount="277" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (4 yrs 10 months) is bilingual (Japanese,English) and will be starting kindergarten next year.  We currently live in the U.S.; her English is capable, but still fragmented and below her peers' level.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have my eye on a French immersion school because their educational ratings are well above other schools in the area.  My wife is still ambivalent about what school to choose, so she was talking with my daughter's preschool teacher about it, and the teacher recommended a standard school that has better than average educational ratings.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The preschool teacher's thinking is that because my daughter's English level is lacking, a standard school would help her catch up in her language skills and that an immersion school might slow her down.  My thinking was that at an immersion school, everybody would be starting from the same level, so her English would be less of a hindrance in learning, and as an extension, it would also be less imperative for her to reach the level of her peers - she could learn at her own pace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7959" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T04:19:59.847" Title="Should I choose a language immersion or regular school for a child with below average language skill?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|language-development|language|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15078" CreationDate="2014-10-07T13:40:48.927" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well if you want your daughter to accelerate her english and an immersion school would help her learn at her own pace isn't that by definition the incorrect choice? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want her to catch up in English then I do think a great standard school would work, you could also get her to a speech therapist. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure what a French immersion school is, were you also going to teach her french? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is going to stay long term in the US then public school route, if she is going to go between the US and Japan then you can go with the immersion school because she can go at her own pace. Just my 2 cents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9951" LastActivityDate="2014-10-07T13:40:48.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15077" CreationDate="2014-10-07T13:51:02.040" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well my kids were good sleepers but I do have a suggestion, if he can jump from his cot, put the cot on the ground! Or get rails of some kind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every kid is different but my son had an attachment to his binkie that was getting worse and worse, then we noticed that his front teeth had a gap, so we decided that he needed to end that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I started telling him throughout the day that he wasnt going to be able to have his binkie anymore because of the gap he had between his upper and lower teeth, I repeated this maybe 5 or so times throughout the day and several more in the evening, asking him along the way if he wanted big gaps in his teeth. That night he gave a little fuss but by the next night he didnt seem to care and I didnt bring it up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would be nice about it, give him consequences to him staying with you that effect HIM, you can even lie and say that as my belly gets bigger you'll push him off of the bed, I tell my son that he has to brush his teeth otherwise they'll fall out! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thats what works for me, semi-true consequences, calm speaking and repetition, and asking him if he wants those consequences to happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9951" LastActivityDate="2014-10-07T13:51:02.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15078" CreationDate="2014-10-07T16:20:07.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless your daughter is learning disabled, all children have very good (mind bogglingly fantastic) language acquisitions skills-- in particular they can learn a language by mere exposure, which doesn't work for adults. Adults can be said to have a knack for picking up a 2nd or 3rd language-- usually not, adults study for years and still are incompetent--, but the ability for children to pickup additional languages appears to only be limited by time-- a child needs to get about 15 hours of exposure per week to learn a language well.  Below that, and it will be their 2nd best language, or a language that they later stop using (especially if they don't have any peers that use that language).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend choosing a language learning plan based on what is going to be useful for them going forward and which language environment you can sustain exposure for over the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning disabilities, speech impediments, etc can happen among bilingual children, but people should be slow to rush to call a 2nd best language something that requires medical attention. I, personally, would be concerned if your daughter exhibited the same problems across &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; her languages-- if she speaks one language well, then this isn't something that a speech pathologist can treat.  I speak Russian like someone with a mental disability, but its because I'm lazy about reviewing my flash cards, not because I am mentally disabled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ref: books on amazon, Raising a Bilingual Child&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2014-10-07T16:20:07.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8420" CreationDate="2014-10-07T20:18:01.027" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;my son was diagnosed with - 14 and -15 at 20 mos.  he's been in glasses since then and it's essentially changed his life.  I knew from very early on his vision was off - he wouldn't focus on me until I was very near, looked veryyy closely at everything, and has a mother with crap eye balls so I had a radar for it.. my pediatrician gave the 'go when I tell you to' response and i'm glad I listed to my gut and took him to a peds ophthalmologist. he gets dilated every 6 mos to make sure his retina's are in tact and there is no macular degeneration so fingers crossed he'll be all good. he'll get contacts as soon as he can tolerate them and then we'll go from there.  good luck in your efforts - there is very, very limited information on this for children so young. especially for me - I've yet to come across with another childs vision so severe at so young. BUT... things could always be worse. I have a healthy, happy, little boy.. on a side note his 1 year old brother was recently checked and will go back in another year because the doctor things he may be nearsighted as well (not nearly to the extent of my 2 year old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10084" LastActivityDate="2014-10-07T20:18:01.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12741" CreationDate="2014-10-07T20:52:58.127" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Offer an incentive to do something extremely boring:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reading from a Chemistry, Math, Philosophy textbook&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Listening to a poetry audiobook&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any Netflix tv show on Quantum physics&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beats the heck out of counting sheep, but if it actually stimulates her mind instead of putting her to sleep: you get a genius!  You can't lose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10085" LastActivityDate="2014-10-07T20:52:58.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15084" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-08T00:25:01.633" Score="3" ViewCount="187" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 21mo and another due in February. Lately, I have felt compelled (internally, not from any external pressure) to do more to feel prepared to protect my family, in the unlikely event of a home intrusion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a gun person, but I've even considered attending a few trainings at a firing range in order to get a license for a firearm for home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I talked with my wife, she suggested a home security system, but I am a tad distrustful of how effective those actually are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else dealt with similar feelings? Did you take any specific actions, or instead focus on acceptance or other means of comfort?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4235" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T05:52:48.163" Title="Handling strong need to protect family" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15085" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15103" CreationDate="2014-10-08T03:04:50.673" Score="30" ViewCount="6861" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a bit exhausted getting my 3 year old daughter through the evening.  Getting home, washing hands, sitting at the dinner table, eating dinner, eating fruit, taking a bath, towel drying, drying hair, brushing teeth, flossing, reading stories, going to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every step is like pulling teeth and she is wandering and wants to do something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tonight I basically just decided to (1) post this question and (2) let her tell me when she is ready to do the steps (we're already done with dinner.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there harm in letting her do this? I asked her to let me know when she wants to do the steps in our nightly routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="1922" LastEditDate="2014-10-12T14:57:19.907" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T14:37:20.353" Title="Is there a benefit or harm in letting a 3 year old control her own bedtime routine?" Tags="|discipline|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15086" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15093" CreationDate="2014-10-08T03:46:55.463" Score="17" ViewCount="1522" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given some &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/707/when-should-you-start-talking-with-your-children-about-sex&quot;&gt;recent&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/15059/should-children-be-preemptively-taught-about-drugs-alcohol-and-sex&quot;&gt;questions&lt;/a&gt; regarding sexual discussions with questions, I want to take a step back and ask a related question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I use &quot;pet names&quot; when referring to a body part with my child? Some people say &quot;pee-pee&quot; instead of &quot;penis,&quot; or &quot;cha-cha&quot; instead of &quot;vagina&quot; (or some other name). And I'm not talking about sex-related discussions only; I'm talking about every day life conversation that might involve these body parts (like potty training, for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I've never liked these pet names. I'm a straightforward, say-it-as-it-is kind of guy, and as such I plan on always referring to things by their anatomically correct name, starting from day 0 with my child. I want to teach my child about how to sacredly respect the human body, and I feel like using a pet name makes the subject a taboo or disconnects it from reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10088" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T11:40:05.577" Title="Should I use &quot;pet names&quot; when talking about (private) body parts with my child?" Tags="|communication|sex-education|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-08T05:38:59.017" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Giving some freedom won't hurt. But make sure you are confortable with whatever she comes up. Preferably it shouldn't be her deciding, you should come up with an &quot;evening plan&quot; together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good trick is to discuss the problem, reach a consensus, and write down what you decided together on a sheet of paper, then hang the sheet somewhere visible. She can't (probably) read, but she will know what is there. And when she, later on, tries to change the routine, you point to the sheet and say &quot;that's not what we decided&quot;. This, sometimes, works wonders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The benefit is that, if you agree on a routine together and it works, you will actually spend less time on the routine and it will be more pleasant. Harm - I don't see one, unless your daughter will try to overuse her newly gained freedom. You have to watch your steps giving it to her;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T05:38:59.017" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15084" CreationDate="2014-10-08T05:51:57.920" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Guns are unmatched when it comes to defending your home. But you have to make sure your kids have no access to them, make them safe for your own family. You have to spend quite a lot of time practising so that you can use a gun in a stressfull sitiation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Solid doors with good quality locks, unbreakable windows (very expensive, as far as I remember!) are very likely to stop the intruder, or at least slow him enough for the police to get there (or for you to grab your gun from a safe).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could get yourself a telescopic baton or pepper spray. Pepper spray should not be used indoors, but if you're with your back against the wall it's better than nothing. Batons would be decent against unarmed opponents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Home security systems are good for detecting intruders. A security company will have a reaction time specified, but they may always come too late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-09T05:52:48.163" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T05:52:48.163" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15086" CreationDate="2014-10-08T08:37:30.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice is &lt;em&gt;yes&lt;/em&gt;! Allow me to tell you why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't like pet names either. So I taught my children the proper names for their private parts. I thought it was the right thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was rewarded for this by my eldest asking loudly of &lt;strong&gt;everyone&lt;/strong&gt; we met in the grocery store, &lt;em&gt;MOMMY, DOES THAT MAN (or WOMAN) HAVE A PENIS OR A VAGINA?&lt;/em&gt; How much less embarrassing it would have been if he had asked if they had a bobo or a mookie?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My lesson was learned too late. When they are old enough to be more discrete, the real name can be revealed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T08:37:30.003" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15084" CreationDate="2014-10-08T08:45:59.127" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ah, nesting instinct for guys :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I wouldn't go for guns, I just can't see any situation where that would really help, or where something else wouldn't be more effective. The problem with guns is that, especially with kids in the house, you will need to lock them up well, which means it'll take you a while to get to them; and even then who says you'll be able to reach them at all? What if you're in one room, the guns in another, and the intruder somewhere in-between? I don't buy the argument that having guns would help you if combined with locks, windows, etc. - in my opinion, if used properly, those will keep the intruders away on their own. But more about that below. And also, I'm from Europe, so I just might have a very different cultural mindset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Cornstalks mentioned above, I would rather do two things: make sure your house is fitted well with bolts, locks, etc. (and use them, even during the day!!), and also check your local crime statistics. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that implementing good locks etc. and using them, even during the day, is by far the most important thing you can do for your safety. Let's face it: most intruders are just looking for some quick cash, and will only go where they can get it easily - where they can climb through an open window, or easily open the door, or just walk through the back door (!), etc. Try to adapt the mindset of an intruder for a moment - a well-secured house makes their job way harder, and the risk of being disturbed or getting caught is a lot higher, which is not something they would want. So unless you are really, really rich, or you have made yourself enemies in your local organized crime scene, just why would they run such a risk and go through the hassle of breaking into a well-secured house?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, check your local crime statistics. Of course I have no idea what they look like in your area, but I would expect them to be something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;motoring offences &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;domestic violence, and other cases where the perpetrator is an acquaintance of the victim &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;burglaries where the home was NOT secured well &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;organized crime &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(right at the bottom of the statistic): burglaries where the home WAS secured well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand your need to protect your family, but please be aware that this might be connected to your wife's pregnancy, and the dangers might not be as real as you fear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T08:45:59.127" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-08T08:53:09.683" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Agreeing on a routine together is important. We have used sticker charts to great effect in our house when if, for example, they go to bed nicely 5 days they get a treat. Then you can focus on the &quot;Next we will do the  and let's see if we can do that well too as you might get a sticker tonight&quot; so it's a positive thing. We have found that battling with our children doesn't work nearly as well as a reward based system. Our LO took ages to stop biting his nails; we bought Nailbite gel, told him off, he had sore fingers, but the only thing that worked was saying to him &quot;If you let your nails grow long so we have to cut them you will get a big treat&quot;. And it worked. May not work for you but that's fine because every child is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T08:53:09.683" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15086" CreationDate="2014-10-08T10:54:19.543" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teaching them the correct name is very simple, it doesn't require having to make up names, or work out what to translate as, and as they grow up they won't face any embarrassment in class from using a 'baby' name for something others know the 'grown-up' name for. And I'd certainly be more embarrassed for them to use a play word than the correct terminology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching them the correct places to use such words can be fun, and to be honest, if the worst thing your child will do is embarrass you in public, then you're on to a winner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, all too soon they'll move on to using more 'offensive' words for them anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2014-10-10T21:05:51.977" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T21:05:51.977" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-08T11:33:26.220" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally don't think there is any harm. There may even be benefits, especially when she is older. It starts the idea of respect and independence, generally not something you work on with a three year old, but I don't think there is nothing wrong with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would take on the advice of others allow leeway as long as she understands the repercussions. For example if she doesn't want a Bath one evening because she wants to play with her toys more, or have a longer reading period. She has to have a bath the following morning which means she will have to be up earlier and have less time to play with her toys in the morning, watch TV or even miss out on treats and trips if she doesn't follow the routine in the morning. With that in mind still set ground rules of what is and isn't movable. For instance teeth brushing can never be delayed or missed out on, to still instill the importance of some tasks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10090" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T11:33:26.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15044" CreationDate="2014-10-08T13:09:51.940" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Age of acting up&lt;/strong&gt; She is in first grade I believe and is 6 years old. She is a child. A lot of small things may bother children and this is the age of acting up. It is not serious until you get a call from the principal who informs you about the behavior of your child. Then talk to her and give small consequences like no biking after school or an early bedtime. &#xA;  SERIOUS THINGS ARE LIKE&#xA;I had a few behavior problems in second grade (aged 7). I used to throw pencils of other students out of the window and I also spat in the food of a classmate. I am admitting this. My parents were called. I didn't get any consequences but my mum and dad talked to me about it. I realized that my reputation was going down. After half of year 3, I realized and started building my reputation. Now, I'm in 7th grade and I have a really good and high reputation for good behavior by other students and from the school coordinator (who is really strict) and my mum told me that the coordinator praised me to her. My apartment building committee chairman also praised my mother about my behavior. This is an experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We learn from our mistakes, cover up for them and learn not to do them again. From a reputation where I was stealing and stuff now, I have learned not to do it and I have a really good and high reputation. We learn from our mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user10091" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T13:09:51.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-08T13:40:25.927" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people hate the idea of having to follow a structured routine.  I'm not sure how you present the breakdown of the evening to her, but if it's at all an ordered sequence of events, she may simply not care about it or she might want to break out of it.  Either way, I'd say the root of the problem is you don't have her 'buy in'.  She likely doesn't quite understand &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; these things need to be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choice is important.  It empowers us.  I would suggest creating a chart of all the things she &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; to do at night, but then let her choose which ones &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; when, except for bed time.  Set &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; in stone.  Not sure how crafty you are, but maybe use magnets on the fridge to represent the different things, and she can reorder them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might already understand that brushing teeth comes after dinner and before bed, but if she says she wants to brush her teeth before dinner (or after bed) it's an opportunity to teach and explain to her the rational for the &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt;, ie, we brush our teeth to clean them because they are dirty &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; eating, and she can't really brush them &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; she goes to bed, since she'll be in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would then take it a bit further, and give her some measure of reward.  I'm always a fan of words, letting her know how smart she is and how proud you are &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;IF&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; she completes everything before bed time.  Words only worked for so long for my son, so I came up with Daddy Coins and have been using them for years to great effect.  He uses them to purchase things from me (1 for an extra tuck in, 10 to sleep in my bed, 1 to beat a level for him, 2 for a boss, etc etc).  I don't award them when he simply does what is expected of him.  I give them when he does something I expect of him &lt;em&gt;that he has struggled with&lt;/em&gt;, until it becomes routine, which is quickly after he understands the why.  For example, I used to give him 2 coins for sleeping in his own bed.  He did that for a few nights in a row, I dropped it down to 1 coin and he still kept at it.  Eventually he didn't get any, and at that point he had to &lt;em&gt;spend&lt;/em&gt; coins to sleep in my bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also to note, be careful what you expect of her!  She is &lt;em&gt;only three&lt;/em&gt;.  I'd focus more on getting her to understand the reasoning now than I would about simply obeying.  It will take time, and if you fight with her every night, she will come to learn &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; is routine and that is the last thing you want lol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it feels like pulling teeth, I suspect she's able to pick up on some of your frustration, so when it feels like that again remember to try to relax.  Walking away from an argument with a three year old doesn't mean she has won.  I find it harder to parent &quot;correctly&quot; without a clear head, and walking away to simply cool off and take some deep breaths &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/92264-benefits-deep-breathing/&quot;&gt;will really help&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she goes to bed with missing some things, during the tuck in you can express some disappointment that she wasn't able to get everything done tonight, but hopefully tomorrow she will!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, unless she always gets real dirty, I doubt she needs to have a bath every day.  Also not a big deal to eat fruit before dinner, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4970/The-Major-Rule-for-Eating-Fruit.html&quot;&gt;here is some evidence&lt;/a&gt; she would actually get more out of the fruit by eating it first, but they do also make a great dessert!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In theory, I think it's good for kids to see parents being flexible.  I would just keep in mind to make sure they understand you are &lt;em&gt;flexing&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll eventually learn that getting everything done is 'right' and will also understand the &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt;, which at the end of the day is what I think is most important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10023" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T13:40:25.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1052" CreationDate="2014-10-08T14:48:07.137" Score="5" Body="&lt;h3&gt;From the AAP&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/bathing-skin-care/Pages/Umbilical-Cord-Care.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;recommends&lt;/a&gt; that you keep the stump clean and dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When changing, arrange the diaper so the stump is not under the diaper, this prevents it from getting wet, and allows it to dry out naturally over time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When cleaning the infant, do not submerse the stump.  A sponge bath with a damp cloth is preferred.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stump should dry out and fall off in a few weeks.  There may be a little bloody spotting from the navel at that time, but any active bleeding should be tended to by a doctor immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a small risk of infection, if your infant exhibits redness and swelling around the navel, or a yellow smelly discharge from the navel, or your infant cries or seems particularly tender when touched around the navel, you should see a physician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there is no harm in dabbing the cord stump with alcohol, there is no benefit to this treatment, and it adds an extra step of care that is unnecessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Personal&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The change from recommending alcohol to not recommending it happened in our hospital around 2005.  I imagine some providers still recommend it, and others probably moved away from it much earlier. Having had several children with the alcohol treatment and several without, I haven't noticed a difference.  Specifically, the cord stumps didn't fall off noticeably sooner or later under either treatment plan, and we never experienced any infection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect alcohol treatment may give fussy parents something to do that makes them feel like they have a little control over an unpredictable process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T14:48:07.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-08T15:10:27.740" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only harm that might come of allowing your child to choose when to get ready for bed is that they might not get enough sleep, and they might develop poor sleep habits.  As long as you place a reasonable limit to how late she can choose so she gets plenty of sleep at night, then there's no reason you can't let her choose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, however, children become more difficult to work with as they become more tired.  If she's used to going to bed at a certain time, and you allow her to go to bed later by her own choice, you may find she's a little more grumpy than usual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you cut back on the baths though, and this alone may lighten your load and may make her happier about bedtime.  Daily washing can be hard on young skin.  Washing faces and hands frequently, and bathing a few times a week is usually enough for toddlers, though there are obviously times when they need a bath.  If you believe giving her more control over the process will help, then when she's not obviously dirty, ask her if she wants a bath or not, and let her choose that aspect of the bedtime routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, it is important to develop healthy sleep habits at this age, so take care so she doesn't develop bad habits.  Some of their recommendations are found in these two articles:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Bedtime-Trouble.aspx&quot;&gt;Bedtime Trouble&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Help-Toddlers-Form-Good-Sleep-Habits.aspx&quot;&gt;Help Toddlers Form Good Sleep Habits&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T15:10:27.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-08T15:33:30.023" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are generally able to handle much more freedom than modern parents give them credit for.  Usually a bad result when you first try granting more freedom is due to a lack of practice, out of rebellion more than anything else.  Just because a child wants control over her own body doesn't mean she won't tend to make similar choices to the ones you would make for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My almost 5 year-old daughter inherited some of my night owl genes, so she chooses to stay up later, but that's okay because she can usually sleep as late as she needs.  When she's ready, she goes to sleep completely without complaint.  My 10 year-old daughter who has approximately the mental capacity of a 3 year-old due to her cerebral palsy, actually comes and tells &lt;em&gt;us&lt;/em&gt; she's ready for bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 7 year-old son is somewhat different.  His impulses drive him to stay up all night if we don't intervene, despite how tired he gets, so we tend to be more authoritarian with him.  We don't like to do that, but find it necessary due to reasons I'll detail later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children have difficulties with freedom in two main areas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Considering medium and long-term consequences of their choices.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Considering how their choices affect others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first reason is why I consider the job of a parent to be mostly converting long term consequences into short term ones.  Kids need hygiene of their bodies and their environment.  They need a certain amount of sleep in order to be healthy and happy.  However, there's no obvious short term benefit to attending to those needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way we handled those long term needs while still giving our kids as much freedom as possible is we made a list (with pictures) of all the things that need to be part of their bedtime routine, but we let them choose the order it's done, and give them wide leeway in how long it takes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter still needs help with part of her bedtime routine, like brushing her hair, it's okay to impose more restrictions on those parts, because those parts affect you too.  Children often realize intuitively, and others can be taught, that involving others necessitates some compromises.  In other words, it's easier for them to accept some loss of control in those areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep the time reasonable with a consequence.  After their bedtime routine, we have a family quiet time where we have a religious message and a family prayer, then if there's time we watch something funny like AFV.  The kids really enjoy all of it.  If they take too long with their bedtime routine, then they miss out on part or all of that family time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I feel comfortable imposing a consequence like that is because of the second difficulty with freedom.  Making other people wait for family time is a choice that affects other people.  Not letting parents have some quiet time after the kids' bedtime is a choice that affects other people, which is why I insist my daughter leave us alone after bedtime even though I don't insist she go to sleep right away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's also the reason we make my son actually lie down and try to sleep even when we don't force the other kids.  The extremity of what he would choose for himself throws off the entire family's schedule the next day, and the resultant grumpiness throws off the entire family's mood the next day.  We can handle a child sleeping an hour longer.  We can't handle a hyperactive child being tired all day.  If he could handle staying up all night without affecting the rest of the family, we would let him do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of families have more strict morning routines than we do.  They have to be to school or work at a certain time.  That pretty much necessitates everyone going to bed at a certain time.  That's an okay freedom to restrict on your children, because their choice affects others.  It also happens to restrict the adults' freedom, but for some reason a lot of parents don't think of it that way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you can still negotiate some leeway, and find a way to say yes.  &quot;Okay, you can stay up for an hour &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; you don't interrupt my quiet time, and if you can show me it won't be any more difficult to get you ready to leave in the morning.&quot;  One of two things will happen:  you will prove them wrong or they will prove you wrong.  If you prove them wrong, they'll usually be much more willing to abide by the rules, which is worth the price of one or two difficult mornings.  If they prove you wrong, you've both learned something wonderful and will be happier for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You asked about the benefit of giving a 3 year-old more control over her bedtime routine.  The benefit is people are much more willing to do things they have more autonomy over.  You'll have fewer power struggles and still be getting most of what you want.  Also, I haven't parented teens yet, but I've heard from others that giving their children more freedom earlier eased the teen power struggles later on.  Ironically, the best way to control children is often trusting them to control themselves.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T15:33:30.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15084" CreationDate="2014-10-08T15:44:56.793" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a two parts to protecting your home that the other answers have touched on and I wanted to consolidate it a bit to provide a more comprehensive answer.  First there is prevention and second reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your first line of defense should be keeping the criminals away from your house.  The easiest threat to deal with is one that never comes inside.  Like @LittleMsWhoops said, good doors, locks and security habits are crucial.  Making your house a hard target means it is far less likely someone will even want to break in in the first place.  Locking the doors and turning on a light when you are away are excellent first steps.  Get to know your neighbors.  Get them to peek out a window when you are on vacation just to make sure nothing weird is going on at your house.  We have a dog that barks at anything that comes near our house, meaning any criminal will know we will be alerted if he tries to break in.  Having a security system with a sign in your front lawn might scare a few thieves away too.  Bottom line is make your house as unattractive a target as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite making your house as unappealing to thieves as possible, someone might be determined enough (or dumb enough) to try to break in anyway.  At that point you need to be able to react.  The best way to react is to have a plan.  Keep a phone by your bedside so you can make a 911 call if necessary.  If you have a security system, the company can also react for you (though they may not be fast enough).  Keeping a weapon close (whether that is a baseball bat or a properly locked up gun) means you can hopefully scare an intruder into submission / running away.  If they don't scare, you at least have the option to use force at that point.  Also make sure your family knows what to do if something happens.  Should they hide in their closet?  Yell for help?  Run into your room if it is safe?  Are you going to come get them?  Make these kinds of decisions before hand so you don't have to make them when someone is in your house and you are panicking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you decide to protect your home is ultimately up to you and what you want to put up with.  Are the benefits of having a security system worth the hassel of keypads and false alarms?  Are you comfortable with keeping a gun in the house?  Are you able to properly secure a gun and ammo?  Is it worth paying for better doors, windows and locks?  For some things, the benefits far outweigh the pains, others maybe not.  It is something you and your spouse will have to evaluate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If nothing else, thoroughly prepare to keep intruders out.  Then plan how to take care of them if they do come in (and pray you never have to execute that plan). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T15:44:56.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-08T16:18:50.010" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;3 years old is a prime time for children to assert their independence, developmentally they understand they are separate entities from everyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With some kids, &lt;strong&gt;choices are key.&lt;/strong&gt; Many are extremely motivated to do something as long as it is in their own way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend that you don't allow her to decide for herself, but &lt;strong&gt;give her meaningful choices&lt;/strong&gt;. This can involve things like 'do you want to brush your teeth or get a story first?', 'Do you want to brush your teeth naked or in your pajamas?', 'Choose two story books', 'Do you want snack or bath first' and so forth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply decide what is &lt;strong&gt;not a choice&lt;/strong&gt;, such as brushing teeth and bedtime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with others that you definitely don't need to bathe a toddler everyday, they don't have 'smelly sweating' like adults, and their skin benefits from not getting a bath every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short answer to your question is:&#xA;&lt;em&gt;No, within limits giving her say in her bedtime routine is empowering and helpful.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="4582" LastEditDate="2014-10-10T16:32:42.580" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T16:32:42.580" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15084" CreationDate="2014-10-08T17:29:37.843" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every police officer I've talked to has recommended more light as a way to deter home (or business) theft over dogs, locks, guns, etc. For the biggest bang for your buck, I would recommend buying motion sensing flood lights to cover your home/property's entrances and exits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2715" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T17:29:37.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15108" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-08T17:43:21.483" Score="12" ViewCount="1028" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am really wrestling with an issue that recently came up. Here is the background story: My brother-in-law (my wife's brother) has talked to my wife and said that he wants to name us as the care-takers of his children in his will if anything was to happen to both him and his wife. Here's the footnote to that, though. They have five young children, and one of those five is a special-needs child. To get a better idea of the social element between my family (wife and two young children) and theirs, we live on the other side of the country from them and it would be a huge stretch to even remotely say that we are &quot;close&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what the typical obligation would be here at this point. It's one thing if we are talking about one child, or even two children. But five children (one with special needs) is quite an undertaking that I'm not sure is reasonable or even possible. Here are some points I struggle with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I work hard to provide for my wife (stay at home Mother) and my two children. Truth is, I'm not sure if my income could provide for an additional 5 people.  My children would do without in many aspects of their lives.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accommodations simply aren't there. Yes there is a spare bedroom, but talking about the magnitude of five extra people to provide sustainable and long term living quarters, I just don't see it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Family element. Call it what you want, but as a father and a husband I enjoy spending my life with my wife and my children. Realistically speaking, adding five additional children to which I have no real bond to will most definitely change everything.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we were the only other family to where these kids could go to, I'd say that's one thing. But we are surely not. In this family there are also my wife's parents (which would also be the same parents of her brother -- the kids' grandparents), my wife's brother's wife's sister (sorry for the confusion, could also be referred to as my brother-in-law's sister-in-law, the aunt of the kids on the other side of the family), and my wife's brother's wife's mother (the other grandmother, on that side of the family).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To undertake this responsibility alone just doesn't seem possible, appropriate, or feasible. What is the typical thing to do here? Given the quantity (five) and the requirements (one special-needs child), I would think this hardly fits in a &quot;typical&quot; scenario of care takers in the event parents pass away. But I would truly like to hear thoughts on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I wrong for thinking the way I'm thinking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this just simply an inappropriate request from my wife's brother?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10096" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-10-06T08:02:31.120" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T08:02:31.120" Title="Caring for the Children of Deceased Parents" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15108" CreationDate="2014-10-08T20:15:15.283" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put yourselves in their shoes for a minute.  They chose you for a reason.  Try to think of what it is.  Likely the biggest factor is they like what kind of parents you are, and they think you are the most capable financially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have one or two children with special needs, depending how you define it (one with severe cerebral palsy, one with ADHD).  There are two things I want to convey to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, we know better than anyone how much more it costs to raise a child with cerebral palsy, and we do our best to plan for it financially.  Our 401K and life insurance are significantly heftier than most people with my same salary, and most of it goes to my daughter in the event of both our deaths.  It wouldn't be enough to set them up for life, but it would be enough to upgrade to a bigger home, for example.  If finances is your main concern, you might want to bring that up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, we know better than anyone what kind of people it takes to handle raising a special needs child, and more specifically &lt;em&gt;our&lt;/em&gt; special needs children.  For one thing, it's not as hard as most people think.  For another thing, the parts that &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; hard, are hard in different ways than most people think.  They chose you because they think you are most capable of handling it, even if you think otherwise right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you have a strong point about adding 5 children all at once.  However, consider that if you are unable to do so, possibly &lt;em&gt;no one&lt;/em&gt; can.  Consider taking one or two, which is not ideal for either of you, but may be the best you can do under the circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, if you think you can't handle it, don't lead them on.  The kids have to go &lt;em&gt;somewhere&lt;/em&gt;.  You don't want to be having this discussion after the funeral, when the parents have no input.  They know it would be a burden on whoever takes their children, which is why they're bringing it up now, when they still have time to mitigate any concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, regarding the closeness issue.  I know how it feels to wonder if you can ever feel close to children you don't really know.  It's hard to see it now when you're thinking of the situation hypothetically.  As a former foster parent, I can tell you the closeness comes with time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We only wanted to foster to adopt, until we were told about some real children and asked if we would be willing to accept a temporary placement.  It's hard to describe the strength of the feeling, but in that moment, when the need is real and right in front of you, and you are best positioned to help, it's very difficult to say no.  In the unlikely event your hypothetical situation becomes real, you will &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to help, you will regret not preparing better for it, and you will find a way to make it work.  That's human nature.  Try to picture yourself in that place when you're having this discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-08T20:15:15.283" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12741" CreationDate="2014-10-09T02:41:03.187" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are far too nice, and your 7-YO has learned, subconsciously, to manipulate you  to get what she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be clear that after 9pm is your time, she will get nothing other than directions back to bed. She is not hungry - you saw her eat dinner. She is not thirsty (leave a bottle of water in the bedroom to halt this complaint) and at 7 she can use the bathroom by herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;7am is wake-up time! No exceptions, no complaining (ok, no complaining that changes anything). Turn the lights on, open the curtains, and pull the blankets off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will not be an easy transition - little Lucy has learned that whining, complaining and crying works and those techniques will be repeated at higher levels until her wants are met or she reaches her limit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents in Victorian England did this from the birth and didn't write much about the kids not going to bed on time. Hutterites (Canadian Amish) are very strict about things like chores and bedtime. I've been to Hutterite colonies and they have the best behaved, happiest children I've ever met. No TV might be a factor too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10099" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T02:41:03.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15086" CreationDate="2014-10-09T04:07:09.173" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say start with the real names unless it makes you too uncomfortable to discuss issues like hygiene using the proper names. Being open to discussions is more important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T04:07:09.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15078" CreationDate="2014-10-09T04:19:59.847" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;English will come if she's living in the United States. She hears it everywhere, she'll be speaking it with most of the people she interacts with. You couldn't stop that if you tried. If you think knowing a second language would be good for her, how else will it happen for her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T04:19:59.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15116" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15122" CreationDate="2014-10-09T06:47:13.167" Score="5" ViewCount="298" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1-year-old daughter has started pointing at things. Sometimes she &quot;wants&quot; them, to either hold herself or just touch, sometimes she seems to be satisfied with simply having the thing named. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on what we are doing we either fulfill her &quot;want&quot; - give her the teddy bear or show the picture, etc. - or not. Then she often gets upset and keeps pointing and wanting for a while. Then, sometimes, stops and engages herself in another activity. Or one of us gives/shows her the thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general we try to use common sense and don't let her start ruling us. I was wondering however, whether there is some well accepted way of handling this kind of behavior, since most (all?) kids go through this phase? Are there any studies about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-11T12:28:30.357" LastActivityDate="2019-04-11T12:28:30.357" Title="How to handle a 1-year-old pointing at and wanting things?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|research|habits|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="15117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15108" CreationDate="2014-10-09T07:39:39.163" Score="6" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is this just simply an inappropriate request from my wife's brother?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course not. Your in-laws need to think of the welfare of their children. They have a right to ask, and you have a right to refuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Financially, it is the responsibility of the parents to provide enough life insurance that if they were to die, a new, bigger house and major expenses such as special needs care and their schooling through college would be taken care of. This is just common sense, and should be a part of the discussion. It has been when we've been asked to be guardians should something happen, and with those we asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Am I wrong for thinking the way I'm thinking?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not for anyone but you and your wife to decide. You have not stated what your wife feels in this matter. That's an important consideration. If she's all for it, and you're not, that's a discussion you need to have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, the likelihood of ever being called upon to fulfill this responsibility is quite remote, so worrying about it is not very productive. You need to make a decision knowing the possibility is there, then forget about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are serious about what you've written here, then don't agree to take responsibility for the children. I'm sure the parents want the children to go (all together as a group) to someone who would welcome them with open hearts and arms. It's not enough to consider someone's parenting style or income; love matters. Though I agree with Karl that you would most likely grow to love them, if I were the parents and I was aware of your true feelings (to which you are entitled), I would rather look elsewhere for potential guardians. This doesn't mean you need to tell them of your true feelings; that might result in unnecessary pain and possible family repercussions. Just tell them that you can't commit to such a responsibility. They shouldn't expect you to, nor try to guilt you into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your sister-in-law and her husband chose to have five children, not you. It is their responsibility to plan for their futures in the event of their deaths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only caveat: if you refuse their children, don't ask them to take yours. That would be quite awkward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T07:39:39.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2014-10-09T10:24:12.703" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 13 year old as well. I have not learnt to control myself properly yet, and I am still trying to find ways, but I do have a few things that I want my parents to do when I get angry:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I go in my room it means I don't want my parents to come in and bother me. In other word it means I need my space. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes (mostly after I calm down), I try to go near my parents to get a cuddle, but I never go and ask them for a cuddle. I just hang around nearby, because I want them to ask me sweetly if I want a cuddle. Basically I am just scared because I have been so mean to them that I don't know how they will react, but I need someone to hug me so that I can tell myself everything is okay and that my parents love me (sometimes I scream nasty things like I KNOW YOU HATE ME SO MUCH AND THAT'S WHY YOU...).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't like it at all when my parents tell me I may have a serious problem and I may need medication. You should make sure you never tell this to your daughter.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I came to this page thinking I was the only one with these problems, and now I know I am not, and it makes me feel a bit better.  You could tell your daughter she is not the only one with these problems, it might make her feel better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10101" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-10-09T16:05:41.913" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T16:05:41.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15119" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-09T12:37:02.010" Score="4" ViewCount="403" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has reached the point that if something scares him once then he doesn't want to deal with it anymore on any level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can understand this for something like &quot;Star Wars.&quot; But this has extended to programming like &quot;Phineas and Ferb&quot; as well as other books that should not be construed as scary. This also can occur at bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically, I wouldn't worry about this but his behaviour is what has me worried. He will first whine about not wanting to see it and then work himself up to an absolute bout of terror. This isn't a temper tantrum. It is absolute crying in fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal for an 8 yr old? Should I be stronger about this? I'm trying to gently walk him through the experience, but at times he is just inconsolable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="160" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T17:37:16.823" Title="How does one deal with excessive timidity in 8 year olds? Is it even excessive" Tags="|behavior|television|reading|fears|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8715" CreationDate="2014-10-09T12:46:13.660" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of, your pediatrician or visiting nurse should track babies weight gain as it is best method to rule out medical conditions with same symptoms. Also, all other conditions like acid-reflux or MSPI have some severe symptoms like excessive vomiting or blood in stool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you like to be informed you can go through all material @justkt presented in his answer but don't search for similarities only differences because my baby had 9 out of 10 given symptoms and none of listed conditions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10102" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T12:46:13.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15119" CreationDate="2014-10-09T15:45:44.853" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year-old can work himself into a frenzy fairly easily, but for sadness rather than fear.  I don't think it's that uncommon at that age.  It seems they're all irrational about &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt;.  However, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be expected to start trying to control their outbursts.  We say something like, &quot;I know you're sad, but if you want to throw a fit, you need to do it in your room.&quot;  That tells him the emotion is okay, but the outsized reaction is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably 4 times out of 5 he calms down immediately.  The other time he chooses to go to his room.  That ratio is slowly improving over time.  When we first started this technique, he chose his room almost every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A scary show is somewhat different, because it's avoidable.  There's no need to desensitize him now, even if you think he is oversensitive.  That will come in his own time.  Very few college students are scared of Star Wars.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My younger daughter is the one that gets scared of TV shows.  When she gets scared, I pause it and ask if she would like to do something else instead.  She nearly always declines.  If it gets to be too much for her, I make her do something else.  Fear dissipates when you have more control over the thing you fear, or at the very least when you have more control over your response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T15:45:44.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15116" CreationDate="2014-10-09T16:50:32.040" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pointing is really the first way kids start to express their wants other than crying, so this is exciting for them. &#xA;They also sometimes just want to know what something is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I find that the most important thing you can do is to communicate that you understood her.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find it useful to communicate back with words to my 15 months old, such as :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt; Yes, that is your *yellow car*, here it is&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(he can have the car, and I help him by telling him what it is.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt; I know you want the vase, but it is not a play thing and you can't have it. NO.&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I acknowledge his desire, but tell him no. )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;That is my wine glass. That is for adults only. Do you want your own cup?&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I acknowledge his desire, and offer him an alternative)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;That is our *cat*, Gauss. You are right, he is hungry&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(When the cats roam around the kitchen he gets very excited and points, he clearly doesn't 'want' the cat, but he wants to tell me that the cat is there! Look at that cat! and I try to guess what he is trying to communicate)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can also work to show and say 'no touching'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is so exciting for her that she can communicate, and kids really want to do that. I find that encouraging the communication is helpful, since my kids started really listening to at that age too, and I could give them simply commands, such as 'pick up the car', and it is so exciting for them to be understood, and to understand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T16:50:32.040" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15123" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-09T17:28:38.630" Score="3" ViewCount="2028" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was born in December and is now about a year old and was born during a pretty heavy snow/cold spell. We bought a huge snow suit for him to take him home from the hospital but we couldn't get my snow suit wearing newborn son to fit in the car seat and we ended up putting extra clothes on him and covering him with a couple blankets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, on a normal day to day basis, how do you transport a child in and out of a car into a building in freezing conditions whether using a car seat or not to traverse from the car to build. Are there snow suit/car seat combo's that work or am I trying to keep my son too warm?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7975" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T20:17:25.723" Title="Using and not using a car seat for transporting between car and building, how do I get a infant from the car to a building when it's freezing outside?" Tags="|car-seat|clothes|transport|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15119" CreationDate="2014-10-09T17:37:16.823" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I wouldn't call this excessive just yet.  Without knowing what it is that frightens him, it's hard to say if its a &quot;normal&quot; reaction or not.  Is he scared of Phineas' spiky hair?  Or that what they're doing is super dangerous and somebody could get hurt?  To begin, I would strong encourage deep probing to really understand what it is that scares him, and do so with the thought that there truly is something legitimately scary to him, you just need to see it before you can help him overcome a specific fear.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also important to avoid any guilt or shaming for said fear.  Even if it's ridiculous, it honestly is a real fear and they need to know you're on their side.  Be firm in that he doesn't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to be scared, but &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; in that he &lt;em&gt;shouldn't&lt;/em&gt; be scared. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently dealt with a timidity issue with my 7 year old son.  He opened our back door to toss something in our blue box but missed it.  I told him to go outside, pick it up, and put it in the box. He looked at me with absolute terror and shook his head, because there was &quot;a spider there&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sparing you any lengthy details, the whole exchange was between 5-10 minutes, I'll just say I probed and found out the root of his fear was that it would bite him and &lt;em&gt;it would hurt&lt;/em&gt;.  So I went out and stood guard by the spider while he put his container in the recycling.  (The troll in me wanted to jump and scare him that the spider was coming, but this was one of those times I knew it was &lt;em&gt;srs bsns&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was about to run back into the house, but I stopped him, because he was still scared.  I had him stand beside me and we looked at the spider for a bit.  I blew gently to show him how scared and careful the &lt;em&gt;spider&lt;/em&gt; was (it crouched into a ball, and this made him laugh).  I encouraged him to blow at it, and he did.  I felt it was important for him to see the effect he could have on the spider... give him a better idea of, if it came down to a serious 1v1 fight to the death, what he'd be capable of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, fear about things like bugs, or really any 'physical danger', is easier to deal with.  I like to point out that we &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; (not that we SHOULD) crush most bugs with our pinky finger or baby toe, and even &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; they bite us, it generally doesn't hurt as much as being pinched hard and isn't as annoying as mosquito bites.  Even then, it won't kill us.  In general, it's about explaining how we are safe or instead understanding the actual degree of danger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mental or abstract fears are a bit trickier, but generally it's the same process.  Probe and understand the root of the fear, then explain/demonstrate why the fear is unfounded.  If that doesn't work, distraction is the next best thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son had some trouble going to sleep at night for a variety of issues.  Recalling my own youth and issues with bed time, I figured the problem was just his imagination.  While I could explain something away rationally and he'd agree, as soon as I left, he could come up with something new!  So instead, I started to put on some music, very quietly, in his room.  Worked wonders.  He now can focus on the music, and not get distracted by his random thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL;DR&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Probe. Find out the root cause of the fear&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Knowledge is power.  Explain/rationalize away the fear. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prove it.  Generally by demonstrating use of said knowledge.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last step is most important.  Without it, they can be scared new knowledge won't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10023" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T17:37:16.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15123" CreationDate="2014-10-09T17:42:57.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We wound up adjusting the straps at the beginning of winter to accommodate thicker clothes/jackets.  Even then, it could be a challenge to get the straps around my son in his heaviest coat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The workaround we came up with for the coldest weather was this:&#xA;Bundle my son up in whatever we thought was appropriate for the weather.  Bring him out to the car, sit him in the seat (on top of the straps, and not trying to buckle him in yet), then cover him with the blanket and remove the coat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he was out of the coat, we would strap him in, keeping him covered with the blanket as much as possible.  Once the car was warm enough (assuming we were in it long enough), he could push the blanket off himself if he got too warm (or we could reach back and pull it off).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would reverse the process coming out of the car, recovering him with the blanket, unbuckling him, then transferring him to the coat (and possibly then further bundling him in the blanket as well, if necessary).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going out ahead of time to warm up the car before loading him helps, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T17:42:57.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15123" CreationDate="2014-10-09T17:47:33.583" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;IIRC, we had a car seat that was also one of those carry things.  I think it also may have connected to a stroller? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway I imagine they are expensive (Ours was  gift), and while made things easier, not a need at all.  I don't think we ever actually put him in a full on snow suit + carseat.  That was more for in the stroller/walks/etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's not outside for a prolonged period, I think the layers of clothes + blankets should be more than sufficient.  Maybe warm your car up first?  Biggest concern would be the face.  I'm not sure how cold it is there, but I bet a little Vaseline or something would prevent damage to nose/lips, but it doesn't sound like he's in any danger of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's good to be concerned about this stuff!  That's the important part.  You may be perhaps more concerned that you need to be though :)  Keep doing what works and just monitor him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10023" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T17:47:33.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15116" CreationDate="2014-10-09T21:04:44.790" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you're doing is perfectly fine. Her pointing indicates a want, either to have it or to know the word for it. Choosing to indulge that want is a matter of common sense; if what she wants to have is delicate, valuable, inconvenient or appetite-spoiling, she probably shouldn't get it (though obviously you can still tell her what it is). Her reaction to &quot;no&quot; is typical terrible twos (remember that the &quot;terrible twos&quot; typically begin in the second year of life, before the second birthday); she's ruled by her &quot;id&quot;, her basic short-sighted desires, and you have to rein in the undesirable aspects of those behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For this kind of stuff, Pavlovian reinforcement is typically suitable IMHO; praise constructive behavior like her obeying your requests, indulge indifferent behavior like innocent attention-seeking, ignore bad behavior like whining and tantrums, prevent destructive behavior like attempting to handle breakable or harmful things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notice I said &quot;prevent&quot;, not &quot;punish&quot;. A time-out isn't punishment, it's a means to prevent whatever destructive behavior the child had been doing or about to do. Negative reinforcement is effective, but should be applied very sparingly, for two reasons; first, more often than not punishment is doled out when you're angry, and it's easy to let emotions dictate the severity of punishment, when said emotion isn't necessarily in line with the severity of the destruction. Second, negative reinforcement, if overused, becomes the &quot;normal&quot;, especially if you under-use positive reinforcement, and it loses its effectiveness; it becomes expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other means of prevention include diversion. Ida made some recommendations along these lines; if a child is interested in something they shouldn't have (a wine glass), you might attempt to draw their attention to something they can have (their own sippy cup). It's remarkably effective at this age, and for quite a few years from now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ida's also very correct that you should never discourage communication, even when it becomes annoying (and it will, trust me on that). Discourage shrieking when it's not appropriate, but never negatively reinforce a child's attempts to communicate with you through language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T21:04:44.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15123" CreationDate="2014-10-09T21:13:19.890" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A one year old is too old for a carrying car seat, or will soon be.  Most of those max out at 30 inches or less; in the US, a boy will reach 30 inches on average on his first birthday, with a 95% range of 8 months to 16 months, and a girl not too different from that, according to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/clinical_charts.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDC Growth Charts&lt;/a&gt;.  We're talking about a sitting-up carseat here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem is coats/snowsuits, as those are too bulky (and when worn under the buckles may be somewhat unsafe - carseats are intended to be securely strapped to the child, and strapping it as tight as it ought to be will be very uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One solution is to not wear the coat on the way to the car.  Obviously, the child will be cold, so to solve that problem we dress them somewhat more warmly minus the coat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case, the easiest solution is to take the cotton clingy pajamas and use them as long underwear.  From sometime in October (a week ago here where I live) to sometime in April, most days our children wear two complete layers both top and bottom.  They have fun Elmo or whatever pajamas on the bottom, on top of those their regular shirt and pants, and then on top of that a sweater.  This keeps them quite warm - these are very tight pajamas, as they're cotton and not fire retardant, so they do a good job trapping warm air underneath.  With this setup they often don't need a coat at all, unless they're playing in the snow, or the temperatures are very low; certainly the trip from the house to the car isn't long enough for them to get much of a chill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may still be a few days where you need to add a bit of warmth (if it's blizzarding outside!); for those days, either take the extra few minutes to don and doff the coat, or more easily, carry the child in a blanket to the car.  That has the added bonus of a blanket that can be draped over them while the car warms up, particularly if it's not in a heated garage.  Much faster than a coat to remove.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T21:13:19.890" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-09T21:36:34.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've considered this for my three year old (and will probably think more about this for my 18 month old, as he's just lost his crib rail).  We had all sorts of problems with his bedtimes, probably as bad as what you describe, even back at 18-24 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we realized over time was that his schedule wasn't centered on the times that we'd like.  It seems that he operates on a 26 hour schedule (or so).  That of course isn't really feasible (though I haven't ruled out the &lt;a href=&quot;http://xkcd.com/320/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;28 hour day&lt;/a&gt; (note: crude humor along with the information) in the long run, though I doubt it), so instead we basically live with him sleeping a bit less than he probably should, and try to make up by keeping him on a nap schedule.  This is basically what you're asking, if I interpret your real question correctly: is it okay for a child to go to bed later, if that's what seems to work for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's worked very well for us; he rarely has issues with going to bed now, and generally doesn't seem to have any obvious sleep deficiencies.  He falls asleep around 10 or 10:30 each night, wakes up at around 7, for 9 or thereabouts hours a night.  We let him have an extra hour on the weekend, but it's important not to let it go later than that as it can mess up his internal rhythms.  He also takes a 2 hour nap most days, and that's the key to making this work: making sure that nap happens.  9 hours is too little for a 3 year old, but 11 is well within reason, and on days where he doesn't nap it's obvious in his behavior later in the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, if yours is a two income household (or single parent), you might want to consider whether part of bedtime issues is that your child wants to spend some time with you.  Wandering and making it take longer might well be a way to try and extend mommy/daddy time.  We definitely found this helped; when I was able to start walking my kids home from daycare (rather than driving from a further away one), that added quality time alone helped things at bedtime, as they felt they were having more daddy time.  If you can figure out how to add an hour or so of quality time into the nightly routine, that could be a significant boost and might save you time from the rest of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T21:36:34.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15045" CreationDate="2014-10-09T21:54:50.907" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've known people who did fly with newborns at around this age, and it's certainly possible to do; note the caveats Ida and Anongoodnurse note. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd add one more, which is why I wouldn't do this.  A seven week old still has an underdeveloped immune system.  A baby doesn't have a fully functional immune system until around six months, and until three months it is recommended that for any fever over 101 (exact value varies) you immediately take your child to the emergency room, to protect against potentially dangerous meningitis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Airline travel is often linked to increased sickness, particularly of respiratory infections, because you're in an enclosed space with lots of other people, many of whom are not from your 'local' area; probably a full half of them are from wherever you're travelling to, after all.  Different regions of the country - even different cities - will typically have slightly different bugs, or different flavors of even similar bugs, and thus I for example am a bit less protected against New York viruses and bacteria than I am to Chicago variants.  While your child hasn't built up an immunity on her own to the local flora, your own immunity is important here, as you pass in your milk antibodies to what you've built up immunity to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means that not only the air trip, but even the visit, to New York will involve a higher risk of infection to your child.  It's not necessarily going to endanger your child's life, but you're at a higher risk of going to an ER, and it won't be your comfortable ER with your local pediatrician at hand the next day.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do go, make sure you know exactly where the closest good children's ER is, and plan how you'll get there if your child has a fever at 1am.  Meningitis is a significant danger (an infection of the spinal cord or brain) and the risk shouldn't be taken lightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I myself would recommend holding any travel - air, car, etc. - of a significant distance until the baby is 3 months old, and has enough of an immune system to be reasonably able to respond to common minor ailments without needing to head to the ER right away.  Certainly discuss this with your doctor before you do it, as they'll be able to better inform you of the risks and how you can lessen them, as well as what you should do if your child does get sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T21:54:50.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4791" CreationDate="2014-10-09T22:51:56.857" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently had a baby boy (about 3 eeks now). He cries alot between the hours of 10pm to 4.30am almost on a daily basis. I tried several activities based on the advised of Doctors and other health practitioners without any solution.&#xA;I have now come to realize that if you give him a 'sleeping bath' say around 11pm, he sleeps almost immediately until around 4am.&#xA;Try it cause it worked for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10108" LastActivityDate="2014-10-09T22:51:56.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15133" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15134" CreationDate="2014-10-10T05:27:20.820" Score="11" ViewCount="6437" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm almost 15 years old and my father  frequently physically and verbally abuses me. My being chinese certainly has a factor in this, but since I live in Texas, it is not legal. Usually it is for disciplinary purposes, but he has such a tight hold, that if I even watch a YouTube during a weeknight, he will begin to beat me. He usually hits me in the head, so that my hair will cover the bruises. Any help on stopping him? I don't want to call the police or CPS because I know he just wants to help me, even if his methods are extremely unorthodox in the current age. I only want to stop the beatings since the verbal abuse is easily endurable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10112" LastActivityDate="2017-08-29T17:57:10.637" Title="How to stop my father from physically abusing me" Tags="|abuse|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15133" CreationDate="2014-10-10T06:05:07.413" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I cannot give you legal advice, for that I must say to consult a lawyer.  However, I know that at 15yo (the age of my daughter), that such a statement is meaningless.  Furthermore, as a natural American, I do not know the cultural requirements implied by being Chinese and in America.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, in America you have 2 choice as far as I know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Speak with your father and work on a mutually agreeable and non-violent solution.  This is most definitely the preferred solution.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If communication does not prevent violence then your only other options are to seek exit by family or by law.  If by law, they will either try to place you with related family or if that is not available in a &quot;home&quot; of some sort -- some better than others.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an impossible choice you have been given and one that has consequences lasting far beyond your youth, so I highly recommend consulting your own family for advice as they will taken into account cultural issues and options you have not expressed here because you may not know them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best and hope that option #1 is what ends up providing the solution!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T06:05:07.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15135" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="15138" CreationDate="2014-10-10T08:14:22.900" Score="5" ViewCount="7462" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am so far decided about not to physically discipline my children. And I am managing to do so, showing my kid what is good, and what is bad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One downside is, that my boy still &lt;strong&gt;cannot talk&lt;/strong&gt; in meaningful way&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second is, that he is &quot;live&quot; child so he is sometimes misbehaving on purpose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last real time it happened was when he bashed his (girl) friend to head with his car toy. Totally on purpose. (Not a game, not an accident)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was obvious &quot;crossing a line&quot; and so far as discipline we developed &quot;time out&quot; in meaning, that kid is put away for as many minutes as their age (=2 minutes)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But him crying his heart out when on timeout gives me really bad feeling about it. But I am clueless what else in term of discipline should I choose. Any better ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9700" LastActivityDate="2016-10-23T13:37:19.223" Title="How to discipline 2yo who still does not talk" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2014-10-10T09:52:22.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize this was posted a long time ago, but I figured I'd answer so that when other moms search the topic, this might help. This happens to me with my six week old. This is the conclusion I've drawn... The only real option, I'm realizing, is to gently hold it in her mouth (almost just catching it as it begins to fall from her mouth) until she's in a deep sleep (usually 5-10 minutes); then I gently pluck it out. I don't know about other babies, but my baby wakes up when the pacifier FALLS out, but NOT when I pluck it out! Go figure! A few minutes of leaning over the crib uncomfortably, holding the pacifier in, usually gets us to sleep a lot better than putting the pacifier in every few minutes when it falls out and she cranks! Good luck all!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10113" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T09:52:22.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15135" CreationDate="2014-10-10T11:34:57.073" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion this is a correct way to discipline the child. We even put our 1 year old in the playpen when he misbehaves badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We always make sure we tell him why. Although we're not sure he understand it completly, he now sometimes stop when we tell him to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2178" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T11:34:57.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15135" CreationDate="2014-10-10T12:02:20.427" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hitting is common at this age, but that (or his tears) does not mean a time-out is inappropriate; on the contrary, the sooner he learns that hitting is not an acceptable form of self expression, the better off all involved will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just because he does not talk yet doesn't mean he doesn't understand a significant number of words. He should know many positive words, but he also should know &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My go-to book for effective discipline is 1-2-3 Magic (appropriate starting at age two), one of most effective approaches to behavioral (self-) correction I've ever encountered. When applied correctly and consistently, it allows time outs to be applied without the parent losing their cool, while it gives your child (if not right now, it will early on) an opportunity to correct himself if he is able to before the time out, gaining some experience in self control and managing frustration without loss of self esteem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistency and a united front are incredibly important, whatever you decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T12:02:20.427" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15135" CreationDate="2014-10-10T13:45:01.947" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like your discipline approach is working. A &quot;time out&quot; or &quot;naughty corner&quot; is supposed to be a punishment and if your child is crying, it suggests they don't like the experience. The goal here is to associate the bad behaviour with the negative consequences of discipline. It is likely he won't continue to cry each time you use this approach, once he gets used to it. But he'll still find it more boring than playing with toys or having your attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest child had a speech delay and could barely say ten words at two year's old, however we successfully started using a naughty-corner approach from around that age. It's good to start early so that they become familiar with the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming your child can understand some of what you say, you can issue a warning for more minor offences before ultimately putting them in the naughty corner if they continue to misbehave. Soon, the mere threat of a naughty-corner will have him adjusting his behaviour on many occasions!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10115" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T13:45:01.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10662" CreationDate="2014-10-10T14:24:20.800" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put a heating pad in the crib beforehand, let it warm up and remove it just before putting in the baby.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along with the advice about waiting for deep sleep and being gentle, this really helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, do not leave the heating pad in the crib with the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10117" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T14:24:20.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15123" CreationDate="2014-10-10T14:27:32.433" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing worth pointing out is that children that young have the brilliant feature where if they are cold they will tell someone about it; they don't get as deeply distracted as older children do. You clearly care about your son and keeping him warm, which means you will respond if he's not happy. If he's ok with being transported to a warm car in a coat then that's fine. If it's really cold and you can't warm up the car first (life happens, it's ok) then leave him warm in the car, but like one of the other answers suggested it is important to check his heat after a while in the car especially if he falls asleep. But you'll do all the checks anyway as it's crystal clear you care deeply for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T14:27:32.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15077" CreationDate="2014-10-10T14:41:36.280" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting used to sleeping in your own bed can be really tough for a child!  If you try to do this completely and finally, cold turkey style, you're going to have a harder time of it.  If you make it a slow change, it will be easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also sounds like your child has his own room, but also has a cot in your room?  If that is true, I feel like that might give him some confusion as to where &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; room is.  I would encourage you to firmly establish whose room is whose, so that he understands when he is in your room on the cot, it is &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; room and not his.  If he does have a cot in your room, in addition to his own bed, I would suggest removing the cot and explaining that he does not need a cot in your room, since he has his own bed to sleep in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also recommend &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; talking about his new sibling in this situation!  If he associates his sudden change in sleeping patterns with you being pregnant/his new brother/sister, he may begin to resent the baby and thus trigger some jealously issues.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't about the new baby, it's about him being a big boy now and sleeping in his own room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway back to issue at hand.  For me, there were a few strategies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sleeping in child's bed with them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making a deal with them, and letting them sleep with you every other night.  &lt;em&gt;this obviously won't work if he doesn't have a cot anymore &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; your bed isn't big enough to fit everybody in it, but it's something we used&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting on music in their room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Staying with him in his bed till he falls asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also try recruiting DH to sleep with him while you get your much needed sleep.  Not sure what your arrangements are exactly, but I suspect he'd take DH over nobody if those were his only options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't had any other children since my son so my wife never had to go through handling him at bedtime while pregnant, so I don't quite understand the exact difficulties you're facing here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I'm always a fan of the reasoning route.  Using logic and explaining the truth of the matter.  I've found children surprisingly understanding, so long as you are able to get on their level of communication.  As your child is only two, that could be very difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10023" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T14:41:36.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14887" CreationDate="2014-10-10T14:51:09.413" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Writing &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; tedious!  I hate it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest either having her write her stories in picture format (they're worth a thousand words, right?) or even comic book style.  Maybe show her a few different story mediums to give her some inspiration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also a big fan of getting kids typing.  Being familiar with a keyboard can't hurt, and writing words is just HARD.  She'll have to do enough of that in school, and trying to get her write at home could make her feel like she's more learning and less being creative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking down at a keyboard, seeing the letter you want, hitting it, and getting your letter perfectly on screen?  That's awesome.  She'll see her words being formed, can correct mistakes easily with backspace, and will be spending &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; time trying to write, and more time actually getting her stories down!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Digital stories are also great because they don't take up massive amounts of paper that can be destroyed or strewn about the house.  They can stay there forever and barely take up any space at all!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10023" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T14:51:09.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15135" CreationDate="2014-10-10T14:54:04.580" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the method that my wife and i use with our son and began using this method around 18 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is now almost 3 and rarely misbehaves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is to make sure that they complete the entire time, and if they get up before the time is up, the time restarts. Once the time is up, fully explain why he was given the time out, and inform them that they have to apologise (either by saying sorry, or by giving a hug, depending on if they can vocalise &quot;im sorry&quot; or not).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be upsetting to listen to them cry, but as a parent, it is your job to have to deal with that to raise a well developed and well disciplined child that will not grow up to think they can do whatever they want without recourse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10014" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T14:54:04.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12652" CreationDate="2014-10-10T16:35:29.637" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old was recently diagnosed with ADD and this was actually a question on his assessment and yes, he hums all the time! He has done this since he could talk and honestly, it drives me up the wall but according to his psychiatrist, it is a way for kids with ADD to keep themselves &quot;busy&quot; and they really do not even realize they are doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10119" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-10-11T04:42:31.697" LastActivityDate="2014-10-11T04:42:31.697" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15135" CreationDate="2014-10-10T16:48:45.960" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with what others have said, time outs can be effective, and seems appropriate in the context, and you should not feel bad about him crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always give my kid a hug and 'I love you' after a time out - talking to him making clear his &lt;em&gt;behavior&lt;/em&gt; was bad, but he is not a &lt;em&gt;bad kid&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, I would suggest that you talk to him about appropriate outlet for his feelings/expressions. Since he can't talk, it might be something like:&#xA;Walk away from your friend when you are angry, or go hit a pillow - whatever you feel is appropriate in your house. I think that kids that age cannot be expected to be calm all the time, they have lots of feelings and it can be very frustrating not to be able to express them when they don't have words, or don't have the calm to use them. I think it is ok to show anger and frustration in an appropriate outlet, and it can even be physical (as in hit your bed or a pillow). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also had an issue with our oldest where he would get very excited and push/hit other kids. Not maliciously, wanting to harm them, but not by accident either. We talked to him about in context of being 'excited' - I think that he really wanted to play with them, or he just didn't think about their feelings (remember other people are not really people to a 2 year old, empathy is hard). &#xA;We taught him when he was playing, and got too exited he is supposed to clasp his hands together and take deep breaths. It really helped! Now he is older we tell him to count to 10. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I, myself, gets easily upset and unbalanced, and I was really quite often frustrated with no way of calming myself as a kid. I wasn't really given any tools by my parents and teachers, so I want to start early to give my kids tools to calm themselves down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-10-10T18:14:19.600" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T18:14:19.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15123" CreationDate="2014-10-10T20:17:25.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I worried about this with our son for his first winter at home.  Mainly because only weighed 15lbs at 14 months (preemie), and the temperature was hanging out around 16 Fahrenheit.  We tried bundling in winter clothes but he would overheat.  If he was going in his car seat the most we could put on him was long sleeve onesie, some pants, and shoes.  We just wrapped him in a blanket while outside then lightly draped the blanket over his car seat.  After about five minutes he would kick the blanket off cause he was getting too warm.  Babies can regulate their body heat pretty well, as long as you keep the wind off them you are probably more likely to overheat them than let them get too cold.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The best thing is just to check their face for being too cold and their armpits for being too hot then make adjustments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2014-10-10T20:17:25.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15133" CreationDate="2014-10-11T12:24:30.300" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is going to get downvoted to hell, but I'm going to post it anyway, since the accepted answers are &quot;Dad, please stop beating me&quot; (unlikely to hurt, but does anybody here &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; think that will work?) or &quot;Call in CPS&quot; (and end up in a foster home that's highly likely to be worse), both of which are vaguely ridiculous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're 15, and per your username, I suspect you're male.  You're thus likely physically roughly as strong as your father, and if you're not, you can be with a bit of exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the next time he starts beating you, &lt;strong&gt;physically restrain him&lt;/strong&gt; from doing so.  Grab his arms, pull his arms behind his back, wrestle him to the floor, whatever it takes (within reason).  This will a) prevent you from getting beaten this time, b) make it much less likely that he'll try again, and c) send an extremely clear message that you're not a little kid he can push around anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you're likely to get some pretty severe backlash for disrespecting your elders etc, but as long as you stay cool and don't let this escalate into a pub brawl, you will have the upper hand morally and physically.  Good luck!  And here's hoping you don't end up in a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.school-survival.net/boot_camp.php&quot;&gt;&quot;troubled teen&quot; boot camp&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2014-10-11T12:24:30.300" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5130" CreationDate="2014-10-11T18:18:43.260" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless it is sterilized water, a newborn or very young baby should not have water go inside ear canal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies immune systems are different and immature. Some grownup recurring sinus infections and infections are attributed to mold in the cavities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use to take Qtips and go gently with Olive oil around my babies ears, later on as they got older they ended up with water inside! Everyone does it differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10130" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2014-10-12T07:12:20.673" LastActivityDate="2014-10-12T07:12:20.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15150" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-11T19:06:05.823" Score="12" ViewCount="9891" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ex-Wife and I separated when our only child was two.  She quickly found another partner and they are now living together as married.  I still have regular visits and sleepovers with infant. Relationship between ex-wife and I is workman-like, but not particularly difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infant referred to step-father as &quot;Daddy&quot; or &quot;DaddyName&quot; (the forename of the stepfather) as soon as step-father moved into their home.  This is fine with me.  I am glad they have a strong bond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But infant's mother started directing infant to stop calling me Daddy.  First she asked infant to call me &quot;DaddyName&quot;, then she went further to ask child to call me just &quot;Name&quot;.  Now, at age four, this seems to have stuck firmly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before anyone asks the obvious questions: I &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; this.  She said it in front of me.  She said it to me.  She has asked me to remind infant to stop calling me &quot;Daddy&quot;.  I'm not getting this from the infant but from the infant's mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would prefer to be called either &quot;Daddy&quot; or &quot;DaddyName&quot;.  I don't care what step-father is called and I use the term &quot;Daddy&quot; to refer to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infant's mother is reluctant to gently introduce this small change, claiming it causes &quot;confusion&quot; for infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it normal for a biological father to be excluded in this way?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do I persuade infant's mother to let me be called &quot;DaddyName&quot;?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10131" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-27T10:09:17.823" LastActivityDate="2024-02-06T13:52:10.377" Title="How should an infant refer to its biological father and step father?" Tags="|parents|step-parents|separation|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15150" CreationDate="2014-10-11T19:17:50.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always been told, including by my own mother when she divorced my father, that this is absolutely not okay. &quot;Dad&quot; or any variation thereof should be strictly reserved for the biological or adoptive father. The mother's new partner should be called by his first name only. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7953" LastActivityDate="2014-10-11T19:17:50.820" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="15152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15150" CreationDate="2014-10-11T19:19:41.350" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of this is simply something you must work out with your ex-wife.  What a child calls his/her parents, or any individual, is largely a matter of convention and personal choice; some people aver all such names and instead ask their children to use their first names.  Others prefer &quot;Sir&quot; and &quot;Ma'am&quot; and very formal names.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's really up to you and your ex-wife to work out on your own; for the most part, the actual term used will be far less relevant to your relationship with your child than how much time you spend and the quality of that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there's an undercurrent here that is hard to miss, which is that she is probably trying to establish her new husband as the &quot;primary&quot; father figure.  There are other reasons for this; she may want to give your child a &quot;normal&quot; family - ie, &quot;mom, dad, child&quot;.  It also likely would simplify things if she and her new husband have children of their own (ie, all children use the same terms for the same people).  She may be wanting to avoid using the word &quot;daddy&quot; with anyone other than her current husband to make it less confusing for the child.  It's hard to say, without asking her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, certainly it's understandable that you feel that she is trying to exclude you, and that's entirely possible.  This is, still, largely a matter for the two (or three) of you to work out.  You may want to discuss with her exactly why she wants things this way, and make sure she knows your feelings - that you feel that you are being excluded.  The term or lack thereof doesn't have to be something that gets in the way of your relationship, but if you feel that you aren't being completely involved in your child's life then you need to make that clear.  Certainly your child should know your real biological relationship (in more detail as he/she grows and can understand it further).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I largely think, though, that as long as this isn't a trend towards exclusion - ie, as long as you aren't starting to have a reduction in visitation - that it isn't really the important thing what you're called.  Your child will associate good feelings with you no matter what word he/she calls you, as long as you continue visiting and spending quality time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-10-11T21:22:21.570" LastActivityDate="2014-10-11T21:22:21.570" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-12T07:25:53.163" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't let children do whatever they want to do because they don't know what needs to be done...that's why they are children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That you even ask the question suggest that you think of the child as just a small adult, able to balance conflicting desires, understand long term consequences and make decisions leading to an optimal outcome. Well, they can't, that' why they are children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fixed schedules and routines are important because children like repetition. That is why they watch the same movie over and over and over again, until you shoot out the TV. Children like repetition because they are learning and repetition is how we learn. Learning means being able to predict what happens next. Repeating rituals like a bedtime ritual, helps children understand what will come next and what needs to be done.  It allows them to predict the sequence of steps to bedtime.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with the &quot;terrible twos&quot; is that children reach the point where they can hold two conflicting desires in their mind at the same time. But they haven't yet learned how to choose between them. They want desperately to fall asleep and want equally desperately to stay awake. An adult knows, after decades of experience and years of brain growth, that they must pick one so they do. The child does not understand they must choose and they don't even know how. The more choices they face, the worse the clash of desires they experience is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest mistake a parent can make is trying to give the child more choices in a desperate attempt to find something that will make the child happy. It doesn't work because the child wants everything at once and that causes internal emotional conflict. Adding yet more options for things the child wants just adds more turmoil. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to learn to choose but only in controlled doses. Don't ever child more than two choices at a time. Preferably, give the child only one choice between to desires at any one event e.g at dinner, they cannot choose anything on the entree but they can choose between a cookie or ice cream for desert. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, remember that children are innocent only in the sense of understanding the morality of their action. In fact, they are highly manipulative and observant of your reactions. They will try to control you, after all their survival my depend on it. If you let them  succeed in misbehavior, it will simply provoke more as the child tries to test the limits of your indulgence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in the main, yes it wrong to let a child's resistance derail an evening ritual of necessary task. Everybody has their off days or perhaps the child is angry or afraid because of some reason, valid or invalid. You may never know what happened but if you let her bully her way out of a necessary routine, she will do so again and again to try and gain more control over her environment, while not understanding the long term consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child suddenly develops a pattern of misbehavior then their maybe something needing investigation but usually it's just the child's inner conflicting desires combined with testing her manipulation of you. The best response is to force the ritual schedule through. In most cases, the ritual needs to be done for health and safety anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I add lastly that walking children through these daily rituals is one of the core functions of a parent. You need to pay attention to the child, observing them closely all the time for reactions. You just can't &quot;phone it in.&quot; Children enjoy interacting with their parents and they resent if they don't have your attention. That will be the more so if they don't see much of you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11132" LastActivityDate="2014-10-12T07:25:53.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16150" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-12T12:30:19.010" Score="10" ViewCount="904" Body="&lt;p&gt;So the title says it all, but let me give you a short rundown of what has been going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents are divorced and have been for 15 years now. They live relatively close to each other to make life for us more doable. They succeeded. But my mother and little brother had a falling out over stuff happening at school and with the authorities. (You know boys, they mess things up from time to time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my brother just up and left to live with my dad. He was 16 at the time. My mother was heartbroken and had a very tough time doing anything for a while. We talked a lot and to me it seemed like the incident that caused the divide was rather minor and not deserving of such hefty repercussions. I myself had done this to my father when I was about 16 years old also about something relatively minor in hindsight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But years have gone by and my father has, as far as I could see, been working toward getting my mother and brother's relationship back on track but to no avail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of us are experts in parental relationships but it seems like something has gone very very wrong here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My interpretation has always been that my little brother made a split second decision based on an option he shouldn't have had in the first place and is afraid of going back on it. My fear is that the situation has been going on too long and things have settled in too much to really repair what has been done. (as I have been able to do with my father.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that as my little brother goes off to college this year he and my mother won't be able to reconnect, ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question to you is, what could I do to help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother and I don't seem to really sync up on a mental level and he doesn't take advice very well. (He often feels assaulted) So being the typical older brother with advice hasn't worked out for me so well in the past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks a lot for reading my struggles, and if you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11134" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-10-13T04:52:43.217" LastActivityDate="2017-02-14T17:17:06.360" Title="How can I help reunite my mother and little brother?" Tags="|parents|siblings|relationships|divorce|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15077" CreationDate="2014-10-12T13:42:12.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off: &lt;em&gt;Happy birthday to your son!&lt;/em&gt; 2 years old is a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; interesting time for a child. By then, children have started to get a real grasp on the world surrounding them. They already interact with peers. In a few months your son is likely to start to become self-aware (&quot;Bobby wants...&quot; becomes &quot;I want...&quot;). Language and communication abilities are going to start to explode. This is a very interesting and intense phase, and can put serious strain on children living through it – and on their parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of this, your son will become an older brother. A younger sibling being born is often a very hard time for the older siblings, especially if there is only one older child. From being the whole family's center of attention and the sole target of care they step down to the second place. And they had no saying in this decision, they weren't asked, and there's nothing they can do about this dramatic change in their world. They can make the obvious connection (&quot;this wailing thing came and immediately took away what used to be mine&quot;) and blame the newly born baby, and it's not rare for the older child to lash out in frustration at the newest family member. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping the balance of attention right and preventing the older sibling(s) from feeling bad about the new sibling can be very hard for parents. That is worst immediately after the baby is born (when the newborn is totally helpless and the mother might not be able to do everything she used to), but many toddlers feel it already during pregnancy, when their parents think and care a lot about the yet-unborn, when their mother cannot play with them as she might used to, because this is physically too challenging for her or because she might feel sick or tired. Many children will revert to demanding the comforter they had already abandoned, start again to come to their parents' bed each night, and show similar habits that their parents thought they had long since left behind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep this in mind when you think about your son's behavior. And keep in mind that he is only 2 years old, and just started to get a grasp on the world. You cannot reason with a 2 year old as you can with a 6 or 8 year old. A 2 year old will only have started to learn to not to demand immediate satisfaction of every need or to deliberately step back. He cannot imagine himself in someone else's place and look at the situation from that other person's POV (as this requires self-awareness, which is not quite there yet around the 2nd birthday). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Also I want to do this sooner and avoid him thinking he is thrown out of the room by the coming of the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With this in mind: This might be a hard time to teach your child to be more autonomous. He might already feel the imminent dethronement, and this might make him more prone to demand more attention. When you keep fighting over this for another 8 weeks, it might just be close enough to the birth of the new child that he (unconsciously) makes a connection and blames it on the youngest family member. Maybe this just isn't the right time to do this at all? I know that, after two years with your first child, parents feel like they deserve a little bit of privacy and return-to-normal. But you will have a newborn next year anyway, which will tear down every bit of &quot;normalcy&quot; you have. Is the break of two or three months you might be able to gain until then really worth the hassle it takes? (I'm not telling you to not to do this, because I don't know. I am just asking the question. You as the parents will need to answer it.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Has anyone been through something similar? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, definitely. Getting your children to go to bed easily is on top of everybody's list of what parents want their children to learn. Basically, there's two ways people deal with it. Some parents just enforce it. They lock the room (or whatever it takes to force the child to stay in bed) and leave, and after a few days or weeks the child will have given up. Now, call me a weakling, but, TBH, I cringe at the idea of willfully abandoning or even locking away a toddler that is upset about the parents not being around. My philosophy always is that, if a child weeps, it's upset, in distress, in need of help. And it's my task as a parent to provide that help. If a child doesn't want to sleep alone, why would I force it to? After all, we also feel forlorn when we have to sleep alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when we expected our second child, we extended our bed (from 160x200cm to 200x200cm), so that there was room for all four of us. Our oldest &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; have her own bed back then, next to ours, and she was proud to use it, but came into our bed every morning and sometimes during in the night. She was allowed to go to sleep in her own bed or in our bed. We never put any pressure on her to sleep in her bed, other than making her very proud to have her own bed and be big enough to sleep by herself. (This is easy to achieve: Praise her being old enough in front of friends, suggest she might show off her own bed to visitors...) And we required everybody who cam to visit us to see the newborn to bring a present for our older child (who could appreciate it), rather than for the newborn (who could only appreciate warmth, a teat, and a new diaper). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The result was that, when the baby came, our older child slept in our bed a lot, too. (Which was OK, because we had the space for this.) Also she was all over her new sibling, cherishing it, and trying to be &quot;helpful&quot;. We allowed and encouraged this as much as possible even though it sometimes caused a temporary &quot;disadvantage&quot; for the newborn, because in the long run it prevented her from feeling jealous and resentful. After a few months, any anxiety about being pushed off the center of attention went away. She retired to her bed more and more. (But I remember the oldest ones coming into our beds in the morning even when they were much older. They loved it.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2017-11-13T14:05:47.610" LastActivityDate="2017-11-13T14:05:47.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15150" CreationDate="2014-10-12T14:00:41.127" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Note that this is a rather international forum and that these customs differ a lot between different cultures. I (living in Germany) have a bunch of children from two divorced marriages and there never was any question whom to call &quot;mum&quot; and &quot;dad&quot;: the biological parents. The parents' new partners were always &quot;FirstName&quot;. But my children regularly live with both parents (for two broken up marriages that's three households then, and quite an organizational challenge for me) rather than living with one parent and seeing the other only as a visitor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides being a cultural issue this is, as had been said by others, an issue between your wife and you. From what you tell it looks like she wants to give a traditional family to her child. This, of course, is not the worst of goals, but I am not sold on this being worth the cost of making the child forget who the real father is. But then all we have is your side of the story, so this speculation might be all wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, you have three possibilities: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get over it &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talk to her and sort it out &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;try to tell your child how things are, and leave it up to the child &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's one more thing from me for you to help you decide: When I found one of the mothers of my children pull on them really hard to get them further away from me, even though I considered this not only unfair towards me, but also bad for the children, I decided that it would be even worse for them if I'd keep pulling at them from the other side, too. Of course, this was very hard for me, and it hurt like hell to let go a bit of your children, but in the end I think it was the right thing to do. (Also, when the oldest of those children became a teenager, it started to want to go back to spending more time with me, and fought this through against her mother's will. We have been very close since.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's a plea to be careful when you decide to talk about this with your child. If in doubt, do not pull from the other side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-12-25T21:08:05.097" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T21:08:05.097" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16150" CreationDate="2014-10-12T14:17:12.433" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As always with complications between parents and children (or any humans, actually), to me the most important questions seem to all start with: &lt;em&gt;Why?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why did this seemingly minor thing make your brother move out?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(If it is as you say, it probably wasn't the cause, but just the trigger. So what's the cause?) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why weren't your parents able to mend this?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(Of course, first and foremost it's the parents' task to mend the relationship with their children, and it's their fault when they fail.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why would your brother rather move out than accept parental intervention/scolding?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(You said he did something wrong, and it's normal for children to accept that there are consequences when they get caught doing something wrong. It's not normal for a child – not even a 16 year old child – to dismiss one of their parents over this.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why has this been going on for years?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(You said &quot;years have gone by&quot;, so I assume at least three or four, which would make your brother 19 or 20 now. Usually there's quite a step in maturity between 16 and 19/20, and people change a lot during this time. So why has there been no change in this?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose answering these questions might be very hard, but I believe that it is essential to understand the problem before you can help solving it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have said that your brother doesn't want to take your advice in this (or at all). Now, that might not be uncommon for younger siblings, but given the tragedy of the situation, it seems pretty fierce, still. But have you considered not &lt;em&gt;advising&lt;/em&gt;, but &lt;em&gt;asking&lt;/em&gt; him, what he thinks? How about you sit down with him and (separately) with your mother and let them do the talking? Only ask questions, do not judge, and do not advise – just learn. You might learn about all those Whys there, and that &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; give you ideas for how to untie that knot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW, getting external counseling from good professionals is always good, but requires all participants to want this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2017-01-09T07:54:00.227" LastActivityDate="2017-01-09T07:54:00.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16150" CreationDate="2014-10-12T22:40:52.807" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, these sorts of things are rarely caused by one event.  Rather, that one event is usually the &quot;straw that broke the camel's back&quot; after a long series of problems in a relationship.  If I had to guess, I would say your brother's &quot;stuff&quot; that happened was at least partially motivated by trying to elicit a certain kind of attention from your mom.  When she reacted a different way than he hoped, even under relatively extreme circumstances, that probably confirmed ideas in his mind that he had been mulling over for some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's almost a cliché that &quot;time heals all wounds,&quot; but there are reasons behind it.  A 16 year-old has not had enough life experience to truly understand that different people having different reactions doesn't mean they care about you any less.  They don't fully understand things like different &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.5lovelanguages.com/&quot;&gt;love languages&lt;/a&gt;.  As your brother gains experience and maturity, he will be better able to understand your mom's point of view, and he will be more amenable to having it explained to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, milestones like going off to college can cause people to drift further apart, but it more often has the opposite effect.  These milestones signal a shift in &lt;em&gt;everyone's&lt;/em&gt; relationships.  The child no longer has to assert his independence, because he is actively practicing it.  You might find it's much easier to get along once the idea of moving back in with mom is &lt;em&gt;completely&lt;/em&gt; off the table.  It moves from being an ongoing source of pain, to being a pain over a past event, for both of them.  Other milestones like marriage and having children of your own have a similar effect.  Your parents' divorce had that effect on their relationship with each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents divorced after all their kids moved out, but the effects were felt much earlier.  My mom's stress often ended up directed at the kids, which resulted in a falling out between all of us that lasted for the better part of a decade.  It was a little better for me as the eldest, because I understood she was not really angry at me, but I still wanted her to acknowledge her behavior toward me, at a time when she was completely wrapped up in her own feelings of victimhood.  I maintained a rocky relationship, while my siblings cut her off completely for a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two milestones happened that enabled all of us to reconcile:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My mom got remarried and finally moved on.  Consequently, she stopped blaming our dad's influence on us for every small slight, and started acknowledging her own part in our falling out.  My stepdad was an extremely good influence on her in this department.  He was able to counsel her without her feeling like she was being attacked.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We all had kids of our own, which helped us understand her point of view a little better about things like unintentionally snapping at your kids when you're angry about something else.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trust me, you can heal with time.  Just keep making an effort to provide opportunities for them to get together, and be patient.  It may not result in an ideal super-close relationship, but there is still a very good chance for them to have a relatively normal parent-adult child relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-12T22:40:52.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12757" CreationDate="2014-10-13T02:34:39.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a 46 year old woman who has to deal with parents whose political views differ quite radically from my own, I agree whole heartedly with the answer above, which recommends you help your daughter discern between facts and views as she gets older, so that that she can more objectively assess any issues that come up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't ever underestimate the influence you have on your daughter, it's far more powerful than that of her grandmother, that's just the way it is. Unless you were to abandon her, which obviously is not going to happen!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine your mum has complex reasons for antagonising you with her beliefs. Otherwise why does she not just accept your differences and focus on enjoying quality time with her grand daughter? I suspect she has emotional reasons for expressing her political differences from you, which stem from some sort of inner conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just reading your question, and having a think about it all has actually helped me analyse my own parent's behaviour, and it's much clearer to me now why they behave like this. (Too tedious to go into!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I reckon you'll feel better once you question the reasons why your mum feels the need to express so much anger about politics when she knows you disagree. Begin by asking yourself why your political difference is threatening to her identity or emotional safety. Could it be it threatens her in some way to be similar to you? Why would that be? Or that she feels you don't love her because you don't agree with her? Maybe your dad's influence comes into it. Did your dad take your side over hers ever? Or vice versa? I hope thinking through that makes more sense of her attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck to you, you sound like a very loving and devoted mother&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11138" LastActivityDate="2014-10-13T02:34:39.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15150" CreationDate="2014-10-13T04:47:08.453" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me take a stab at answering this from the opposite side of the situation: I am a full time custodial parent (mother) who found a new partner when the child was 18 months old, said partner is now my husband and a full time care giver (&quot;daddy&quot; in every way except biological) to the first child and two more of the child's (half) brothers (technically). Ok, so now that you know my &quot;blended&quot; family status, you can see how I am qualified to provide some input here. I won't however, try to proclaim that our solution or my advice is broadly applicable to yours or anyone else's situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer to your first question &quot;is it normal for the biological father to be excluded,&quot; is, generally, no. In some cases, where abuse or some other risk of harm to the child is a threat, the answer would be, understandably, yes. But, that's not the case here, otherwise, the mother would be seeking ways to exclude you in more ways than just attempting to strip your title. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer to your second question, &quot;how do I persuade the mother to let the child call me DaddyName&quot; is you can't. Sorry, but you most likely will have to agree to disagree. You will find, if you haven't already, that there will be at least a few issues that you two won't see eye to eye on (which is why you aren't together, right?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things that works both for you and against you here is that neither of you can control what goes on in the others' home. I mean, with the exception of something dangerous or illegal where child protective services would be involved, or the police. We're not talking about that now. Of course, you guys should work together to have a &lt;em&gt;fairly&lt;/em&gt; consistent set of rules at both homes, but, let's be real: the rules, routines, norms, and traditions in each home will vary slightly. This is normal, unavoidable, and not something your child won't learn to navigate. Now, this means that at her house, you can't make her allow the kid to call you DaddyName. Maybe you'll be just Name. However, on the flip side, this also works in your favor because she can't force the child, when s/he is out of her control to call you anything other than DaddyName, or, whatever you and the kid work out. Btw-have you considered &quot;papa&quot; or some other alternative? Because it IS confusing to a four year old to have two daddys, which is why DaddyName works well, but might not offer enough distinction to a young child, or to the child's siblings if he has any.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with some of the other answers here that suggest that she's doing it to try to provide a &quot;normal&quot; family environment for your child, especially if she has children with her new husband. It's nice to see that you aren't jealous of the relationship with the man who spends quite a bit if time raising your child. I am lucky enough to also say the same is true for my son's dad. In my house, my boy initially called my husband Name. Eventually, he called him &quot;DaddyName&quot; and now he calls him just Daddy. He had always called his biological father Dad at both houses, but began calling him DaddyName at ours when 1) his first brother was born, and 2) when he started calling his step dad DaddyName. For a while, both dads were DaddyName at the both houses, but, it has now completely reversed so that at our house, his biodad is now Name, and step dad is Daddy. He also calls step dad Daddy at his bio dad's house. It irritated him somewhat, at first, that he is Name at our house but he has enough sense to realize that at this point, my husband IS his dad, and like you he is (mostly) grateful that his boy is loved and cared for. Also, he can see how it's confusing to my boy's brothers (who are very young) that there are two &quot;daddys&quot; (is he my daddy too? Does everyone have two dads? How come we don't get to have two dads...and so on.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did, btw, years ago have the conversation about the names. He was agitated not by me telling the child to call him or my husband one thing or another, but that I &lt;em&gt;wasnt&lt;/em&gt; instructing him &lt;em&gt;at all&lt;/em&gt; . I told him I would never &quot;instruct&quot; our child to call either of them anything. If the boy wanted to call one &quot;Monkey&quot; and the other &quot;Goose&quot; it didn't matter to me at all because it had zero impact on the quality of the relationships.  I figured the kid could figure it out on his own-letting the relationships guide him.  I advised my son's dad to not push too hard, because children sort of naturally do what you don't want them to, and warned it would backfire. I told him, politely, what I said earlier about him not having any say in what goes on in my home, and vice versa. When put that way, he backed off, to sulk at first but he came around.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, his distaste for the boy calling his step dad &quot;Daddy&quot; stemmed from his insecurity as a father. Once he figured out that no matter what, he IS the boy's dad, and the boy loves him as a dad unconditionally, he was satisfied to let the name issue drop. I'm not saying you are insecure, but if you are, don't be. As long as you are there for your child, that you love your child, care for him, he will know who you are and will call you by your name. He'll figure out (when he's a little older than 4, be patient) how to navigate both homes' rules (with frightening cunning at some point-Beware!). He'll call you what he'll call you even if it displeases his mother, at your house at least, but hey, that's all that you care about right? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2014-10-13T04:52:50.580" LastActivityDate="2014-10-13T04:52:50.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16158" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-13T09:16:27.743" Score="9" ViewCount="3909" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Don't bribe her &lt;em&gt;(chantage / faire chanter)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;said my sister while I was talking to my almost 3-year-old daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's bad, but what are the alternatives?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read that threatening and bribing reinforce a kind of Pavlovian reaction between some situations and their consequences (e.g. quiet =&gt; candy, bad action =&gt; punishment, etc.), and worse, can give rise to culpability (e.g. a child could make himself believe his parents wouldn't have separated if he had been well-behaved).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, a suggested alternative I read, when discussion doesn't work, is to make a rule (the child must obey), which doesn't seem to me like an improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where does one draw the line when threatening, bribing or rewarding? Are they to be avoided at all costs? What are efficient alternatives to threatening/bribing when the child cannot be convinced and/or there is a hurry?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NB: I can see at least three levels of threatening (level 1) and bribing (levels 2 and 3), but there are probably more:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;if … then I call Big Bad Wolf&quot;, phone in hand (found it mentioned in comments of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lexpress.fr/education/le-chantage-est-une-arme-affreuse-que-je-n-utilise-pas-avec-mes-enfants_1213213.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;an article&lt;/a&gt;…) ;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;if you do &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt;, then [reward]&quot; (the child being asked to do something but not asking for a reward.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;[I let you do something or we'll go somewhere] if you do &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; (the child already asking to do something or go somewhere.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forget about the first category, which seems terrible, and let's focus on 2 and 3. Can threatening and bribing be considered &lt;em&gt;blackmailing&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2019-02-26T23:02:56.520" LastActivityDate="2019-02-26T23:05:07.057" Title="Are bribery/threats effective and are there alternatives?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|development|communication|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2019-02-26T23:03:03.747" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16158" CreationDate="2014-10-13T11:24:19.937" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;The thing is, it sounds like blackmailing, but you are teaching that actions have consequences. &quot;If you don't go to bed now you will be tired tomorrow&quot; is a fact; however one that children won't get. Tomorrow is ages away and child cares mostly about now. But you actually know more about the child than it does when it is small, so you need to be able to reinforce what you say if they still don't listen, so sometimes you need a more immediate consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many other cases when they do have to listen to you, eg. for the sake of safety etc, which is something you can explain to you older child. If your child runs towards the road and doesn't stop when you shout then a punishment of some sort is very appropriate since that disobedience could result in the child's death. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blackmail is when you make someone to do something for YOUR gain, not theirs. You are trying to teach about consequences which are mostly for THEIR gain, not yours. I understand older children can be mouthy sometimes, but explaining that difference is important. If none of us were taught consequences in an appropriate and safe way, then most likely lots of us would be dead. So it is totally appropriate to say &quot;You need choose to do (something) by the count of three or you will be choosing to have (consequence)&quot;, thus putting it in their hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incidentally we have actually asked the child what we should do if it doesn't listen. And often what the child chooses is appropriate, and then it becomes a choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, you're not blackmailing your kid. You're trying to parent and teach consequences. And you're probably good at it -- you clearly care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2014-10-13T15:56:23.713" LastActivityDate="2014-10-13T15:56:23.713" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="741" CreationDate="2014-10-13T14:03:33.930" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some sources say that there is no difference in safety between a booster and a car seat as long as they are used and fitted correctly.  My sons pediatrician disagrees and says that having both shoulders secure gives better protection in side impact and roll over crashes (hence six-point harnesses in race cars).  The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safercar.gov/parents/Right-Seat-Age-And-Size-Recommendations.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NHSTA&lt;/a&gt; suggests using a car seat as long as possible (7 years old unless outgrown).  The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/MotorVehicleSafety/Child_Passenger_Safety/CPS-Factsheet.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDC&lt;/a&gt; makes the same suggestions and actually gives some numbers that support the statement of car seats being safer (variance of 9% between injury reduction of car seat vs booster).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even with those suggestions, if your son is conscious of the fact he is still in a &quot;little kid&quot; chair and his friends are not then it may be best for him to move up to a side-impact rated &lt;code&gt;Highback Booster&lt;/code&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://csftl.org/harness-or-booster-when-to-make-the-switch/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Car Seats for Little Tikes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://csftl.org/resources/state-laws/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;USA State law map&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastEditorUserId="7756" LastEditDate="2014-10-13T14:21:48.087" LastActivityDate="2014-10-13T14:21:48.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16158" CreationDate="2014-10-13T15:39:07.043" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only really bad thing would be to threaten a punishment that you don't intend to carry through on or that is disproportionate to the offense.  Punishment is not blackmail.  The law does not blackmail us in to not stealing from other people.  It tells us that if we do bad thing x, bad thing y will happen to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a natural and important part of understanding cause and effect.  Our actions have consequences.  The problem comes up when the penalty is grossly exaggerated in comparison to the issue at hand.  This leads to either a feeling of being unjustly treated (as the penalty is too severe for the action), or worse, a feeling that they aren't responsible for their actions if the penalty isn't carried out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, offering a reward is not blackmail at all, as it isn't a negative.  It is just a good way to teach that efforts to do good things or work hard are rewarded.  This is also a valuable life lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It becomes blackmail if you start using threat of punishment to get them to do something you want that isn't bad.  For example, play soccer, even though you don't like it, or you won't get any desert.  This is bad because it tells them that it isn't that they are responsible for their actions, but rather than they must do what other people want them to do regardless of their own interests.  It teaches them that their own desires don't matter or are wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same can be said about bribes to get them to do something you want them to do that they may not be interested in.  (Such as, I'll give you ice cream if you play soccer instead of video games, rather than say, I'll give you ice cream if you do something more active to keep healthy, but leave the choice of what up to them.)  This, I'd argue is probably not quite as bad as the blackmail, but still something I'd personally avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in summary, as long as the punishment fits the crime and the reward is for something useful to them, rather than your personal goal for where you want to see them, then it is fine.  If you start trying to manipulate your kid in to following your expectation of their life, rather than letting them be themselves, you are treading on dangerous and harmful grounds that not only teach them bad practices for interacting with society, but also tell them that you don't accept them the way they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6411" LastActivityDate="2014-10-13T15:39:07.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16158" CreationDate="2014-10-13T15:55:56.677" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that what your sister is getting at is the distinction between several kinds of discipline.  Let's say that I want my child (let's call him Tommy) to eat a healthy dinner.  How can I do that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Tommy, if you eat (all of) your spinach, I'll let you have a cookie.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Tommy, if you don't eat your spinach, you can't have a cookie.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are inverses of each other, but they both work the same way: if A then B, or if not A then not B.  They're also what's at the root of this question, I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These solutions have a fundamental simplicity which appeals greatly to both parents and children.  Mommy simply conveys the information to Tommy (what he needs to eat to get a reward), and Tommy knows how to get his reward.  This will tend to work fairly often - Tommy might whine some about the need to eat spinach, but Mommy can reinforce this by simply restating the if/then exchange, and ultimately Tommy does or does not eat his spinach, and does or does not get his cookie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fundamental weakness here, however, is that Tommy's not learning to eat healthy foods: he's rather learning the above-mentioned Pavlovian response.  This isn't entirely bad; it is one of the tools in the toolkit for parents, and hopefully ultimately Tommy will learn to like Spinach by eating it frequently enough that he gets used to the taste (and the often bitter tastes that make it objectionable to some).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, Tommy isn't learning &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he needs to eat his spinach, and he isn't equipped with intelligent tools for future decisions.  He's not learning the real consequences of eating cookies without eating spinach; he's learning to follow your rules.  Again, this isn't entirely a bad thing: learning to follow your rules is good, to some extent; and if Tommy is two or three years old, realistically he can't learn how to make good food choices yet, so the reward paradigm is reasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also turns it into a game: learn what the minimum necessary is to achieve the reward, and 'game' that further.  Your child stops thinking about what he'd want to do, or even what's intelligent to do; he instead looks for what is specifically going to earn him the reward.  Maybe he learns he likes spinach - but he still eats just the amount you tell him he must, and whines about it some, because he knows that you'll offer him the cookie.  He's not going to get good habits from this - instead, he's going to alter his eating habits in a negative way to ensure the reward continues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you solve this, is to adjust this paradigm over time, and reduce the action/reward when possible as the child develops.  The more reasonable way to put what your sister is saying is, &quot;Avoid bribing/extortion when a superior alternative exists&quot;.  This is important to learn as a parent, in large part because we get so used to the reward/extortion paradigm as early parents that we tend to stick with them later in life.  Explaining the &lt;em&gt;whys&lt;/em&gt; is important here; and as they get older, more and more often earning their buy-in on decisions is important.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of those alternatives is to define rules, rather than rewards.  Rules don't have an exchange or if/then; it's simply &quot;then&quot;.  &quot;You must eat your dinner.&quot;  Rules can be very helpful in establishing the boundaries of healthy decisionmaking: &quot;Any decision you make is fine, so long as it has these limitations&quot;.  For example, &quot;You may feel free to eat anything you want for dinner, as long as it's healthy and doesn't require additional work on my part.&quot;  That's a rule that enables the child to then make decisions - deciding what to eat, and how much - within the boundaries of what's necessary (eating &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; healthy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, teaching children to make good decisions on their own is more important than having them make the right decision every time, and this is why it's important to avoid the reward/extortion paradigm when you can - at least, think about it actively: is this something I can begin to teach as an intelligent decision?  Children learn much faster than we think, most of the time, and just like you're amazed at how quickly they learn to read, or climb a ladder, you'll be amazed at how much they're able to understand about decisionmaking.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an example of this kind of thinking; it's not intended to elicit a discussion of how to get a child to eat, but rather to show the different approaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the specific example above, we often told our son when he was 2 that he had to eat a certain amount of his dinner before he could have dessert; basically method one.  However, this quickly turned into the game above: every day he'd ask how much of his dinner he had to eat in order to get dessert.  We realized this was a bad thing (as he wasn't learning to eat the right amount), so we changed a few elements of what we were doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, we usually stopped telling him a specific amount.  I still often had a specific amount, but didn't tell him up front; instead, we told him he needed to eat until he was full, and didn't directly link dessert.  This might sound like a bad thing (and initially this is why we would tell him specific amounts - trying to be more open and clear), but in this particular case it backfired, so being less clear was a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, more importantly, we began teaching him with choices.  Rather than &quot;you must eat your dinner&quot;, it became that he must eat something healthy, and a reasonable amount; but if he doesn't like the food served, we would let him choose any leftover that was reasonable (ie, a complete meal itself).  If he doesn't like meatloaf and peas, he's able to choose some lasagna and broccoli from the fridge.  Also, we ask him to choose his portion size: defining the rules as he must eat what he takes to his plate, but he doesn't necessarily have to take a lot to his plate, for example - he's free to have seconds if he wants/needs more.  Here we use the 'boundaries' approach; he's allowed to make choices within a framework we provide.  He does still understand that he can't have dessert without passing this stage, so there's still some sense of a reward paradigm here, but it's as much as possible separated from this process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, we don't force him to eat a full meal if he's not hungry.  Sometimes he might want to avoid dinner because he wants to play, and while he has to sit down for the duration, he will resist eating; sometimes he might actually not be hungry.  That's fine - another teachable choice.  Rather than reward/extortion (&quot;you don't get dessert&quot; or &quot;you'll go to bed hungry&quot;), he's free to not eat: but if he is hungry later on, his only food option is the option he had for dinner, no snack or dessert.  This again encourages healthy decisions, as he knows he's not able to get more snack-type foods: it's not a reward or an extortion, it's simply a rule.  It enables him to make healthy decisions by eating the correct amount - if he's not hungry, that amount might be very little, and then when he's hungry later he sees the consequence of not eating at dinner.  Again, the boundaries approach here: basically, &quot;You must eat some healthy food for dinner. You may choose what (from whatever is available to choose) and you may choose when (so long as you sit at the dinner table).&quot;  The reward (Eating dessert) still exists at the back end, on days where dessert exists, but most days it doesn't, and on most days that it does it's not explicitly stated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-13T15:55:56.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16158" CreationDate="2014-10-13T16:00:37.007" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My principle is to try to stick to &lt;em&gt;&quot;natural consequences&quot;&lt;/em&gt;. That is, I &lt;em&gt;do not punish&lt;/em&gt; my children in a way that makes me seem to be peeved, and therefore I punish them. Rather than that, I focus on &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; I want to correct my children's behavior, and try to let them feel what the consequences are if they behave incorrect. Mostly that's just &lt;em&gt;not shielding the child from the physical world with its limitations&lt;/em&gt; (like time not being infinite, others not inviting a child that is known to behave bad etc.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a few examples: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I expect my children to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/15015/7982&quot;&gt;contribute to whatever needs to be done in the household&lt;/a&gt; by just asking them to do some chore. Of course, when you have 3 or 4 year old children, they sometimes rather play with their toys than preparing the table for a meal. My solution was to not to force them, but to explain to them that, when I prepare the table myself after having cooked the meal, then I need to spend time on this they'd rather have me spending on other things, like making desert, playing with them, reading them books...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It takes a few bad experiences like this, and a child of this age can make the connection when asked to prepare the table. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Between the age of 4 to 6, most of my children had a phase where they took forever getting dressed in the morning. You could ask, plead, threaten... nothing helped. After the initial shock I had when the first child got into this phase, I found a simple solution: There is only so much time we have in the morning, and if a child takes too long to do one thing, then either I need to wake that particular child earlier, or the child would not have time to do certain other tasks – like having breakfast.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It usually took about a week of this to end that phase.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(The same goes for the evening, BTW: If they need too long for washing, teeth brushing etc., there might not be enough time left to read a story.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If a child does not behave well in a group (like at a friend's birthday party), I warn the child we might have to leave, because the other people would be annoyed about it. Note that, to the child, we would &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; leave because it doesn't do what I say, but because I cannot prevent the consequences of what it has done. My usual rule is to warn no more than twice. If this doesn't help, I actually leave. This is the most important part: &lt;em&gt;Never threaten consequences you are not prepared to actually let happen.&lt;/em&gt; (Few things are worse than a mother yelling at a child that they will have to leave the birthday party if the child won't do as it's told – and the child knowing exactly that they would never actually do that.) If you cannot leave an event, do not threaten to do so. (In that case, you could, for example, tell the child that you would have to avoid such situations in the future and then, if it wants to visit people again, deny the wish pointing out the bad behavior.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course I set up these situations, and of course I decide which consequences I let the children feel and which I won't. (I am not allowing a child to feel the consequences of putting a piece of wire into an electrical socket.) But that's not what the child experiences. The child's experience is that I told it to do &lt;em&gt;A&lt;/em&gt;, but it did &lt;em&gt;B&lt;/em&gt;, and then something bad happened. So it's not you who is a bad person who would not allow the child to have a good time. Rather than that, you are the one in the know who helps the child avoid bad things to happen. (I did let a child old turn an electrical switch I had told it to not to touch. This burned a fuse and the child was very afraid in the dark apartment this resulted in. We actually took the time to spend some of the child's own money to buy a new fuse.) In fact, you can actually &lt;em&gt;comfort&lt;/em&gt; your child when it is upset about these consequences. (And that's not just theory. When, for example, a child weeps because we do not have enough time for a bedtime story, then I &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; comfort it. And we will talk about how we do this tomorrow so that this won't happen again. And the next evening I will take the role of a conspirator who tries to help the child to get done early enough, rather than as a easy-to-peeve avenging angel who bugs the child to not to take too long, because then I would not read a story.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older children will of course understand your steering role in this. But if you start doing this at an early age, an older child will be sure that, when you say, &quot;we will have to leave if this doesn't improve&quot;, you would actually do the unspeakable thing and leave. Also, an older child raised like this will see you as a friend who helps it to deal with a complex world, rather than a punishing god who strikes when annoyed. IME that helps a lot with the guiding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that, as others have already said, positive feedback has been found to be more effective than negative feedback. That is, rewards for good behavior are better incentives than punishments for bad behavior. Often, however, this is a matter of how you &quot;sell&quot; this: Is it a reward that we can read a bedtime story when the child doesn't waste too much time, or is it a punishment that there's no time left when it does? That depends on how often either case happens and which way you explain it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T13:33:31.300" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4230" CreationDate="2014-10-13T16:05:49.987" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are entire countries where language switching is the norm, i.e. from sentence to sentence you switch among two or more languages. They do not get confused.  People who are monolingual think speaking anything but one language is confusing because high school French was confusing for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children have been reported to prefer to speak one particular language to a particular person, but I think that happens after that persons for a long time speaks only, say German and then switches to English, which some children don't like the abrupt change in habits (even though they may be fluent in both)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I speak Russian as a 2nd language, I can assure you that Russian and Ukrainian are only similar in the same way that Dutch and English are similar. There is no way that one would mistake one for the other, neither as a learner, nor as fluent speaker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One parent two languages systems do happen, the recommended advice is to keep the domains where you use one or the other separate (eg. one language for outside the house, one language inside the house), or digloss (switch back and forth between the two-- but this option isn't available for all pairs of languages because some language communities don't tolerate dilogsia, some language communities demand it!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2014-10-13T16:05:49.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16166" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16167" CreationDate="2014-10-14T01:01:27.180" Score="10" ViewCount="23757" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I do not have a child yet. But this method has been in my mind for me to put to work if ever I do get a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;So how does this work?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, instead of the parent dictating to the child what he &lt;strong&gt;should&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;should not&lt;/strong&gt; do, the parent educates, but ultimately lets the child decide what to do. Of course, when health/potential accidents are involved, the parent should take in control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in smaller cases like these :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Situation: Way past bedtime&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child: But I still wanna watch TV&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parent: &lt;em&gt;Tells child that he'd be tired tomorrow for school if he doesn't sleep, then asks the child what he wants to do&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child: &lt;em&gt;decides to keep watching TV&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next day, the child is too sleepy for school and had a hard time with his classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Premise: The best teacher is experience — letting the child know the consequences of his actions by himself, rather than just his parent telling him that it shouldn't be that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, I see more advantages than disadvantages to this method, but I believe it is not widely used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Am I missing out on some important points here?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11145" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T17:33:41.623" Title="What are the advantages and disadvantages of letting the child experience the effects of his decisions?" Tags="|development|teaching|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16166" CreationDate="2014-10-14T03:11:17.903" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most parents try to do it that way when they can.  The main thing you're missing is that children live in the moment, to a much larger degree than most adults realize until they have kids of their own.  The further removed the consequence is from the decision, the less influence it has on their next decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your bedtime example, it would take a typical five year-old dozens of times before the natural consequence soaked in.  Some children perhaps hundreds of times.  When your mom complained that she must have told you a thousand times, she probably wasn't exaggerating.  It takes a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of repetition for some behaviors to sink in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's why a lot of a parent's job is converting long-term consequences to short-term ones.  Rather than a child suffering through half the school year without enough sleep, they only must endure much fewer artificial consequences imposed quickly by the parent the night before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, letting the child &lt;em&gt;occasionally&lt;/em&gt; experience her own consequences does have benefits.  It helps her feel like she has a say in things.  It helps her see that her parents impose the short-term consequences for good reason.  If you want her to make good decisions as an adult, and even as a teen, you have to give her a chance to practice as a child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably remember thinking as a teen that the consequences your parents gave were worse than the natural consequences, and at that point, there's a good chance you were right.  However, you honestly needed those parental consequences when you were younger, and I think a lot of parents just have a hard time breaking the habit when their kids grow out of it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents don't want their kids to make mistakes that seem easily avoidable to us with 30+ more years of life experience.  I can already see myself having a hard time giving my currently 7 year-old son more freedom to experience natural consequences in 6 or 7 years, even being fully aware that I &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; that for him.   It's hard to see until you're a parent, but most of the mistakes parents make are in an attempt to &lt;em&gt;minimize&lt;/em&gt; their children's suffering, sometimes at the expense of other important principles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T03:11:17.903" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16158" CreationDate="2014-10-14T04:22:55.087" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the case below, &quot;it,&quot; is an action or behavior that is undesired/wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blackmailing is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The person who did &quot;it&quot; knows they did something wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You know the person did &quot;it,&quot; and that &quot;it&quot; is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The person who did &quot;it&quot; knows that you know.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Blackmailing--&gt; You coerce behavior from the person who did &quot;it&quot; by&lt;br&gt;&#xA;threatening to expose the the person for having done &quot;it&quot; if they&lt;br&gt;&#xA;don't comply.  Supposedly, exposure will result in a worse punishment than performing the coerced behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, is it right to do this?  Children are sponges.  They take every input they receive and use it to shape their future behavior.  So, while you may think you're teaching discipline, you're really teaching &lt;em&gt;how to blackmail&lt;/em&gt;.  Obviously, the child doesn't know the behavior it is performing is incorrect, otherwise it wouldn't perform that behavior.  Since the child doesn't know it is doing something wrong (or that hasn't been reinforced enough), making threats isn't blackmail, it's just making threats -- to a three year old.  Now, the hollow threats... well, those just end up weakening your hand.  The child will eventually figure out that you're full of it.  Then you'll really be in a world of hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The promises (we'll go somewhere, we'll get something) - those are bribes, and you're teaching that, too.  Going someplace/receiving a gift should be the result of &lt;strong&gt;work&lt;/strong&gt; performed correctly, not behaving correctly.  Behavior is expected in order to be part of society.  If you don't come through on those promises, you'll be teaching something else: lies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At three years old, a child only knows emotion.  It knows it doesn't want to hurt you.  It knows it enjoys receiving positive feedback from you.  So, if the behavior you're trying to correct hurts you, say that.  When the child performs the correct behavior, say that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9839" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T04:22:55.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15116" CreationDate="2014-10-14T05:10:22.807" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even at a young age, you can start explaining the &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; of your decision, e.g.:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm not willing for you to have the knife, because I have a need for&#xA;  your safety and the knife is very sharp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although it may feel a bit silly with someone so young, if you stick with it, you will be surprised at how quickly the little one's receptive language will develop and they will understand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting to do this sooner rather than later will also help you get in the habit of communicating the &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; of your decisions, which will be helpful as your child gets older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4235" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-14T05:46:43.220" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T05:46:43.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16166" CreationDate="2014-10-14T05:38:30.620" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's a great idea to let kids make decisions when they can. However, to let a child decide on important things without realizing that in many instances the child will pick what brings him instant gratification isn't really teaching him well. Better to let kids take increased responsibility as they are able to appreciate long-term consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the scenario you provide, have you considered the other consequences of going to school sleepy? They include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;disrupting the rest of the class with questions because he's trying to understand something he slept through the day before...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;getting on the wrong side of his teacher because it puts her in a bind (does she wake him up and risk embarrassing him? Does she let him sleep and set a bad example for the rest of the kids? Does she waylay her lesson plan because your son can't move forward?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;teacher may come to believe things are bad at home and refer him to the school counselor, talk to other teachers about your son, send home a letter or make a call asking why your son isn't getting enough sleep (are you expecting that the teacher will admire your letting him learn the hard way, choosing to watch TV over sleeping?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;child will do badly in school, from which he might not recover well, his lesson being learned at a high cost (not learning good habits)...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;the effect this might have on other kids... and reflect back on him, possibly...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Better to start small (making sure the consequences affect him alone), and increase as desirable. The goal is to love your child and help him to become a successful (not meaning money here) adult. Modelling responsible behavior for him and letting him learn about consequences that way is a good thing, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-10-14T05:44:28.480" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T05:44:28.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16166" CreationDate="2014-10-14T05:59:39.187" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are missing something important. The negative consequences must be both relatively swift and have to be actually considered negative by the child!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This particular scenario of yours is very real, but I think is a very bad example of letting children experience the effects of their decisions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look at it from the child's perspective: he got to watch tv (plus), got to do what he wanted (plus), had to wake up early anyway (minor minus, getting up was harder), was sleepy during classes (doesn't really care). In general the balance is for staying late. The consequences weren't severe enough to discourage any more attempts to stay up late. Hence, 90% of children (who follow the same train of thought) will want to stay up late every day. Eating too much sweets would be another case with similar effect (well my belly does hurt a bit, but hey, all the sweets I ate!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do support learning by experience. Don't touch the over - the child touches it anyway - gets burned (a bit). The cat will bite you if you pull his tail. And so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that it all depends on the child's age and his character. If school is very important to him, then maybe he won't stay late. In general, however, use common sense and your intuition to decide whether to enforce something or to let the kid experience the effects. Choosing only one option puts the child in actual danger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-14T08:20:57.423" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T08:20:57.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2014-10-14T06:53:44.490" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little one does the exact same thing and noticed that it is every time he feels sleepy. I guess he doesn't understand the sleepy feeling that's why he tries to comfort himself that way. I just rock him slowly to sleep while we struggle a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11147" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2014-10-14T09:29:00.370" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T09:29:00.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14887" CreationDate="2014-10-14T08:59:13.407" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our child used to dislike writing greatly. Things started to change when we took the advice of getting him to do little jobs for us like writing shopping lists or making lists of things he wanted to take on trips that he didn't want to forget. Then came labelling pictures which he wanted to start doing more and more -- writing names on people etc -- and it seemed to be at that point that he got that he could express himself through writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that we did things like make him little pamphlets that he could write his own little stories with pictures in, and now he's writing the odd story fairly regularly. He loves reading and always has done, which may have helped significantly with the creative side of things. He is 6 too. That may not help with your child as every child is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T08:59:13.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12480" CreationDate="2014-10-14T15:12:17.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The 11 year old wants a drink because the 17 year old got one. Not because he wants a drink, or because of a wish for fairness, but because &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; got one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fairness is all nice. But &quot;if she gets something, he gets the same thing automatically&quot; is not fairness. &quot;She got something that she wanted, and one day you will get something you want&quot; is fairness. Let's say you didn't have enough money for two drinks, would it be fair to deny the older one a drink just because the younger one will complain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That drink was a present. It is absolutely fine and not at all stupid to get a present for one only, as long as you treat them fairly in the long term. And treating them fairly doesn't mean you treat them equally. Often you will treat them differently because they have different needs. In this case, I don't think a tantrum does deserve a reward or an apology. What about saying &quot;I really forgot to buy a drink for you as well, and I would probably have driven back to get one for you, but after that performance I don't feel like it&quot;. Would you have bought a drink for the 17 year old if she had stomped her feet to get one? Hopefully not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you say &quot;I was going to tell him about about life and fairness but since it's not my kid, I didn't think it was appropriate.&quot; &lt;em&gt;You&lt;/em&gt; react to how people behave, and it's appropriate to show him that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; react to his behaviour. He will respect you more for it than he will respect you for giving in to tantrums, and in the long term it is to his benefit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T15:12:17.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15086" CreationDate="2014-10-14T20:09:32.357" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While children are very young I like using simple expressions like &quot;bottom&quot;, &quot;privates&quot;, and &quot;chest&quot;.  However once children are old enough to start noticing specific parts I would move on to correct names.  I feel this way because using correct names too young can be confusing and refusing to use correct names at all can have negative effects you would never think of.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents absolutely refused to use correct names, I am now over 30 and still have issues saying the correct names myself.  I have a subconscious stigma associated with them that is proving to be very difficult to break.  My wife teases me (playfully) that I sound like a 12 year old boy when talking about them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T20:09:32.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16166" CreationDate="2014-10-14T20:21:38.457" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the answers already posted, but let me add a few thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recall seeing a TV program not long ago where the narrator said that parents shouldn't dictate sexual morality to their teenage children, but should let them make these decisions for themselves because &quot;then they will own the decision&quot;. And I thought, Yes, great, except the consequences of an unintended pregnancy are very large and last for 18+ years. Would you say of a 5 year old, &quot;I'm not going to tell him not to play in the middle of a busy street. Let him make that decision for himself so that then he'll own it.&quot; No, I would not do that, because if the child decides that playing in the street sounds like fun and then he gets hit by a truck, he could be crippled for life. The danger is too great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the guiding principle is this: A newborn child is totally incapable of making decisions for himself. By the time he is 18 or so, he should be 100% capable of making his own decisions. So you have to get him from point A to point B fairly smoothly. Some parents err on the side of being too controlling, of giving their child too little freedom to make his own decisions and his own mistakes, so yes, you keep the child safe, but then when he grows up and moves out of the house he has no idea how to run his own life, and he makes huge mistakes. Other parents let their children make their own decisions too soon and the child does himself serious harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, suppose that as your child is growing up you never let him decide for himself when to share his toys and when not to. You always tell him exactly when he must share and with whom. Then the child grows up and moves out. For the first time in his life he can tell other people &quot;no, you can't have this&quot;. He gets carried away with this new power and is extremely selfish. Then he gets married. It's easy to see a disaster looming. Or maybe he goes to the other extreme and is too willing to share. Then he tries to make it on his own but is always loaning other people money that he can't afford to be without, let's a neighbor borrow his car and now he has no way to get to work, lets casual friends stay in his apartment and they trash the place, etc. If you always tell him when to share his toys and when not to, then he may never learn the logic behind the decisions. He just knows, &quot;mom and dad said so&quot;. But if he can make these decisions for himself, then he will gradually figure out, If I never share, then it's hard to keep friends, but if I share too freely and/or with the wrong people, they break or steal all my toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, like the examples I used to start this post, sometimes the consequences are just too severe for the child to be trusted to make this decision himself. I did not let my children decide whether or not to play on the street when they were 3 years old, because they did not have the sophistication to distinguish between a street that was too busy to play on and one that was reasonably safe. I did not let my children decide whether or not to go to school when they were 10 years old, because the consequences of not getting a good education were too serious. Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your example of staying up late, I'd say no, I would tell the child he has to go to bed. As Dariusz says, from the child's point of view, getting to stay up late and watch TV are big plusses. Falling asleep in class? So what? The REAL consequence here is that he will not learn as much as he could have. So say the child sleeps through a math class and fails to learn how to calculate interest rates. 15 years later when he buys his first house or his first car he can't figure out what this is really costing him and he gets cheated or makes a poor decision. Then he says, Wow, I should have paid attention in math class. But it's way too late. The consequence is so far removed from the decision that very, very few children will anticipate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you have to decide how much freedom to give your child on a case by case basis, considering the maturity of the child and the consequences of a bad decision. Your goal should be to go from 0% freedom for a newborn to 100% freedom for an 18-year-old, on a relatively smooth curve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11153" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T20:21:38.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15133" CreationDate="2014-10-14T21:54:37.500" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another option that is not very satisfying, but may still be the least bad of several bad options: follow his unreasonable rules to avoid the beatings, keep out of trouble, try to do exceptionally well in school, and when you graduate from high school and turn 18, move out, never depend on him or put yourself in a physically vulnerable position again, and (optionally) never see him again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should recognize that in the grand scheme of your life, the time period in which he can control you is short and rapidly running out, and then you'll be free. When you're 30, you truly won't care that you didn't watch YouTube videos on school nights when you were 15.  Console yourself by imagining the day when you have kids and you get to tell him that he cannot be alone with them because he beat you when you were a kid, and you won't allow that to happen to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm basing this on your statement that it's all bearable except for the beatings which are almost always because of breaking rules (unreasonable though they may be). It pains me to make the recommendation, but it may be the strategy that messes your life up the least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2014-10-14T21:54:37.500" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8880" CreationDate="2014-10-15T14:29:44.617" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your child is okay with it, and you are okay with it, then I think it should not be a concern. I put my 10 year old to bed at 9 p.m. and she has to wake up at 6:30 a.m. That is at most 9.5 hours of sleep, and waking up in the morning is not always easy. I think she would be better off with 30-60 minutes more sleeptime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11161" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T14:29:44.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15085" CreationDate="2014-10-15T14:37:20.353" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of raising a healthy (behavior-wise) child is finding that happy medium between allowing them assert some independence, but at the same time teaching them that they must operate within a particular boundary. Just like I can't pick my start time for work, they can't pick their bedtime. But I can choose things like my route, what I wear, the color of my shirt, etc. Allow them to choose things that are inconsequential to you -- ie does it matter which they do first between brushing their teeth or reading, or whatever -- so you give them choice which gives them some control (which is really what they want), but you control the import things -- like the fact that the teeth DO get brushed, and they get a bath, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I discussed those kinds of things at great length for years as our kids were growing up, and we feel that we did pretty well. Now they are 10 and 13, and we don't even have to tell them to go to bed anymore. It's just something they know they have to do. But they also can choose all other aspects, like what they wear (undies or pajamas, etc), which blanket they use, whether or not they open their windows (weather and A/C permitting), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11162" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T14:37:20.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12844" CreationDate="2014-10-15T15:06:20.287" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One minute per age of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A five year old child gets a five minute (or less) time out. A fourteen year old child has a fifteen minute withdrawal of privileges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people think that this is much too short for the older child, but research shows that a shorter duration for removal of privileges is more effective than a longer duration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really important to combine punishment with rehabilitation amd moving forward.  It's really important not to let punishment be guided by the anger caused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T15:06:20.287" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12844" CreationDate="2014-10-15T15:46:50.743" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There isn't one list of these things, because it isn't a settled issue: different strategies work to more or less extent, in particular per child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One minute per year of age is a common length for timeouts; 123 Magic suggests that, for example (there isn't an online direct source, but any search for 123 Magic will come up with a similar summary such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://csgreeley.org/sites/default/files/files/1-2-3-magic.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this example&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Phil, for all of his issues, does have a good &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/249&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;list of age-appropriate punishments&lt;/a&gt; not listing lengths, but just the kind of punishment that is effective at different ages.  It's largely in line with what I've learned elsewhere.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To a large extent, it reflects both the ability to understand reason from children and the likelihood of their misbehavior being 'in control' or 'out of control' behavior and the necessity to use different tactics for the two: ie, an 'out of control' child cannot be reasoned with because he/she isn't in control and thus able to take the necessary action even if he/she agrees with you.  Redirection or timeout will help there.  Withdrawing privileges only limitedly works, and it only works because they begin to have a general dislike of punishment which sometimes will 'shock' them back into control; hence, the length of withdrawal should be fairly short [as it's not really the withdrawal that matters, it's the reaction].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, a child who is 'in control' but misbehaving generally knows they shouldn't be doing whatever they're doing, and are making a conscious decision to do it.  This is where it makes more sense to withdraw privileges in a meaningful fashion - as the child can make a rational choice, &quot;I'm okay with losing my TV time for two days if it means I can avoid cleaning my room&quot;.  Here some children will react much better to short privilege withdrawal and some will react better to longer - in particular depending on how much of a strategic thinker your child is.  This only really applies to older children, at least grade school age I'd guess (though mine aren't that old yet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T15:46:50.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11266" CreationDate="2014-10-15T17:49:06.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I got the Discovery Animal Alphabet Video app for my 2-year old. There are several videos so that may help. I haven't tried the music yet but that may be another possibility. Pick music or videos that teach something and you are good to go. Aside from Mr. Pencil and playing with the pet it was all over her head until I discovered these. She never watches the whole video, but she does like the animals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11166" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T17:49:06.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16185" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-15T18:55:02.797" Score="12" ViewCount="3044" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year-old son is extremely extroverted.  My wife and I are both introverts, so we have a hard time relating to his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a quiet time every day for a couple hours, when my wife naps or takes a bath, my elder daughter takes a nap, and the other two kids can do pretty much what they want, subject to the following restrictions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They have to be quiet enough not to wake anyone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They can't go into each other's rooms.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latter rule is all the time, not just at quiet time, and is mostly so my younger daughter can get some personal space when she needs it.  She plays with her brother most of the day, but likes to use quiet time for her &quot;introvert recharge&quot; period, which means my son doesn't have anyone to play with during that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday, my daughter started screaming.  Turns out, she had locked her door to keep her brother out, but he had used a comb to unlock it and was forcing his way in.  He only has benign intent.  He says he feels &quot;lonely&quot; and wants to play, and honestly doesn't understand why his sister wouldn't want to play too, despite the screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, using force like that and completely ignoring his sister's screams gives his behavior a very creepy vibe.  We have to remind him to leave his sister alone two or three times a day, which I don't find particularly unusual, but this is the first time he has gone so far as to ignore her locked door (to our knowledge), and it feels like he's not getting any better at taking a hint.  He &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; grabbed her before to keep her from leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, for those of you who have experience with extroverted children or are extroverts yourselves, is this behavior normal for his age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, this alone time is obviously very difficult for him, but it's important for the rest of the family.  What can we do to help him endure it better?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, what can we do to help him learn to take a hint?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T00:09:09.747" Title="Extrovert child forcing his company on others" Tags="|behavior|attention|extraversion|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16186" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16193" CreationDate="2014-10-15T19:06:49.480" Score="31" ViewCount="8641" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently read an article entitied &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2077635/Princess-Syndrome-Disney-heroines-teach-trade-looks-value-material-things.html&quot;&gt;Are our girls suffering from 'Princess Syndrome'?&lt;/a&gt; which makes the point that many Disney Princess movies send a message that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children as young as two are taking away unrealistic ideals from&#xA;  fairytale books and Disney cartoons that can affect their self esteem&#xA;  later on... traditional stories&#xA;  like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella promote the idea that if a girl is&#xA;  pretty enough and has fancy clothes and shoes, she find love and&#xA;  popularity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is, &lt;strong&gt;should Disney princess movies be avoided?&lt;/strong&gt;  Do they do more harm than good?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9849" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2014-10-16T13:08:52.240" LastActivityDate="2024-03-12T07:38:48.900" Title="Should Disney princess movies be avoided?" Tags="|gender|movies|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16187" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-10-15T19:13:21.290" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-10-15T19:13:21.290" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T19:13:21.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16188" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-10-15T19:13:21.290" Score="0" Body="Questions about kids who recharge by interacting with other people." OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-10-15T19:13:21.290" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T19:13:21.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16186" CreationDate="2014-10-15T19:31:10.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think people overthink some things that are just so stupid. I grew up with Disney movies, and my parents read a lot to me, I have a deep love for both movies and books. I think it depends on how you were raised, I never had any expectations for a guy to rescue me, or thought that I would be more popular if I sang in the school corridor along with furry little friends. Come on guys give yourself a little more credit... Kids enjoy movies and there is nothing wrong with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11168" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T19:31:10.293" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16185" CreationDate="2014-10-15T19:51:48.823" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I am not terribly extroverted myself, I have had to deal with a number of children (and some adults) like this.  As far as your first question goes, I really don't know.  The extroverts like this that I have dealt with seem like it is just part of being an extrovert and that it isn't tied to being a certain age.  Don't take that to mean he won't grow out of it.  Many of the kids I know got better over time (possibly because of help from others).  Whether it is a phase or not, learning how to respect other people's decisions and their space will serve him well throughout his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To address questions 2 and 3, part of the problem may stem from the fact that he is very extroverted while you and your family are more introverted.  He says he feels lonely and wants someone to be with.  He may either not understand or just assume that everyone else feels the way he does.  The trick is helping him to understand that sometimes other people just want to be alone.  This can sometimes be harder than we wish it was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I would take some time to talk to him and explain what is going on.  Explain that people have a right to be alone and that when they choose to be alone he needs to respect that decision.  Acknowledge his feelings.  Tell him &quot;Look, I know you feel lonely and just want to play with someone else and it sucks when no one else wants to play.&quot;  Then help him understand that his behavior is not acceptable.  It is not OK to grab someone to keep them from leaving or to break in to someone's room.  You and your spouse should figure out an appropriate punishment for breaking these rules and make sure it is communicated to him (so he knows what to expect and how seriously he should be taking this).  Also help him to understand what he should have taken as hints (ie. &quot;I'm going to my room now&quot; or screaming to be left alone).  Finally, brainstorm with him to come up with a list of things he can do to keep himself occupied.  It could be anything like building a Lego city to reading a book, etc.  Write the list down and keep it in a place he can get to it when he needs it during quiet time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, the purpose of having the talk is not to read him the riot act, but to help him understand how important it is to respect other peoples decisions and their privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, like your son, most of the kids (and adults) like this that I have been around are notoriously bad at taking hints.  Helping them to learn how to take the hint takes a lot of patience.  Sometimes it will involve pointing out to your son that when his sister says or does something specific that he needs to know that that means she wants to be alone.  Other times both you and your daughter will need to be very explicit and stop dropping hints altogether.  Have your daughter flat out tell him &quot;I want to be alone.  Please leave me alone.&quot;  If he ignores explicit instructions, that is when your daughter needs to get your attention so you can intervene.  After a while (and maybe a few incidents) he will get it.  He still has a long time to grow up and you have plenty of time to teach and help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T19:51:48.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16186" CreationDate="2014-10-15T20:30:22.910" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, people see what they want to see in movies.  For example, there was a brouhaha about Frozen &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-echochambers-26759342&quot;&gt;promoting a gay agenda&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you actually examine the plots, the messages of princess movies are overwhelmingly that wealth and good looks are not enough.  Snow White and the witch were both very beautiful, but one was vain and one was modest and kind.  In Beauty and the Beast, Belle's defining virtue is the ability to look past someone's outward appearance.  Tiana is known for working hard in contrast to her wealthy, spoiled, and man-crazy friend.  Anna's defining feature is her sacrificial love for her sister.  Jasmine found her prince when she shunned the privileges of her station.  Pocahontas is known for her wisdom and love of nature.  Shall I go on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, the princesses are beautiful, and yes, little girls like the feeling of pretending to be a beautiful princess.  Young boys like pretending to be Superman, but no one goes around accusing them of having permanently damaged psyches because they grow up and discover they can't really fly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give little girls some credit.  Princess movies might contribute marginally to an idea that's already there, but the attitudes of her family and peers are much more significant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T20:30:22.910" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16185" CreationDate="2014-10-15T20:48:01.733" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, to me this sounds like normal sibling behavior, extroverted or not.  My family was all medium introverts (at different levels), and we did things like this pretty commonly - trying to get into the others' room when the other wanted us out.  Some of it was simply a power game I think - being able to force your way into their room literally showed you could - and some of it was a normal lack of empathy at younger ages (frankly, empathy isn't fully developed until well into the 20s for many, and certainly not nearly fully developed at 7).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents dealt with it in a relatively reasonable way, I think; within reason they let us deal with it ourselves (we were 3 siblings within 5 years evenly spaced, so there wasn't a massive power imbalance, and it was generally not the oldest vs. youngest, usually some combination involving the middle).  When it wasn't something we could deal with on our own, then they reinforced that you shouldn't 'force' anyone to do anything, and to give our siblings space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, I considered this a normal sibling thing because it wasn't something we ever did to &lt;em&gt;other people&lt;/em&gt; - only our siblings.  It was something we did in the safety of family (similar to how young toddlers/babies often only act out around the parents, and are perfect angels around anyone else - because they know mommy won't leave them just because of bad behavior).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that to the extent you can try and stop this, my parents' approach was generally reasonable (and sounds like it's not that different from yours).  7 is still quite young to empathize with someone with different feelings than yourself, so I would probably not spend too much effort working on that for now; of course talk about it, but don't expect it to &lt;em&gt;work&lt;/em&gt; for a while.  I remember being in high school and still having a very hard time empathizing with people who had different reactions to me.  Instead, hard and fast rules (&quot;If she's screaming, stop doing &lt;em&gt;Whatever you are doing&lt;/em&gt;), and trying to solve question #2 is probably best (to take away the motivation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as your 'how do you deal with it': I would suggest as much as possible taking some of this time and making it into daddy or mommy and son time.  That's the &quot;easy&quot; fix; I realize you're not an extrovert either, and I know it drives my wife bat-crazy sometimes when the kids are super clingy (she's a true introvert, I'm just in the mild introvert area), but it's something you can do in the short term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the longer term, he's going to have to find things he can do himself, or find friends to play with.  By 7 he's probably old enough to have friends outside the house and play with them at least somewhat on his own, no?  I know you home school and this might limit the automatic friend pool some, but I'm sure you socialize some (vaguely remembering other questions).  If this 'introvert recharge time' is somewhat schedulable, schedule 'friend time'/playdates to overlap it.  If it's not, then just schedule frequent enough playdates that he gets out often enough for his sister to get her own time often enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as things he can do himself, he's a bit young for any sort of social online experience, but perhaps he might be able to do some creative writing/play?  IE, my son who's probably the same extrovert in an introvert household (but 3) when he's left to his own devices often spends a lot of time making up complicated scenarios where he and his friends/relatives do complicated things.  I mean things like, he sets up some buses, each bus contains some of his preschool classmates, and they reenact a recent field trip; or he takes his plane and flies to his grandmother's house, and imagines doing things there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not quite the social fulfillment that playing with others is, but it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; seem to fill in that role partially for my three year old when he can't get attention from parents or his younger brother.  At seven I could see creative writing take this place better; making up characters and putting them through storylines or similar, and gaining some of the social 'feelings' (endorphins/etc.) that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T20:48:01.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16186" CreationDate="2014-10-15T21:40:47.227" Score="38" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that there may be an issue here - ie, some Disney movies perpetuate gender stereotypes, gender roles, and other things that aren't good things to perpetuate.  However, I feel like this is similar to the censorship debate, in that simply not letting your kid watch them is not the right answer.  Your kid will be exposed to similar issues whether or not he/she watches Disney movies; and his/her friends will undoubtedly watch them.  I've known plenty of people who were avid anti-Disney folks whose kids couldn't get enough.  Rather than censoring, use the movies (and shows) for good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What Disney movies provide is a forum to &lt;em&gt;discuss&lt;/em&gt; these topics.  Avoiding problems I find to be a poor way to deal with them; it's not like gender stereotypes would go away if you just stopped watching &lt;em&gt;Snow White&lt;/em&gt;.  Instead, watch the movies and talk about it afterwards.  Watch &lt;em&gt;Frozen&lt;/em&gt;, where a girl does the saving - and really nobody saves anyone - despite the guy doing the normal white knight bit, amusingly turning the Disney white knight meme on its head.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking about these movies, especially as your children grow into sufficient maturity to understand these issues (likely earlier than you expect), is the best way to deal with them.  Avoiding a topic rather than discussing it hurts your child(ren)'s intellectual growth, and they certainly will be exposed to the ideas anyway; it's not substantially different from drugs or sex, after all, in that you are better off discussing them at appropriate maturity levels rather than avoiding them entirely.  On the other hand, exposing them to a variety of different viewpoints makes conversation possible about those different concepts and allows you to address the parts that concern you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see action movies the same way, honestly; they're usually some guy going around and saving people through strong man type tactics, or James Bond breaking all the rules to save the girl, or similar.  These aren't any better, and should encourage the same kind of discussion.  Their main benefit is they're not something you'd show to a young kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;David adds in comments a good point, that you in discussing the movies, you can also consider the original sources for many of them.  &lt;em&gt;Frozen&lt;/em&gt; for example is based on a very different story (&lt;em&gt;The Snow Queen&lt;/em&gt;) with a very different message in many ways - and is a sister saving a brother, ultimately.   Both have interesting and good messages, and both have weaknesses; discussing them in tandem could be an excellent starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-10-16T17:02:33.053" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T17:02:33.053" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2014-10-15T22:52:57.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I won't wait the babies cry then feed him,because crying is the late sign of hunger.  You can see lots of sign that determine if the baby is hungry, such as they keep on moving their head and mouth (although their eyes are close you can notice that they are looking of something). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This probably would happen if 3 to 4 hours have passed.  You don't need to wake him up, either; you can still feed with out waking him up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11169" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-10-16T15:19:13.130" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T15:19:13.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16185" CreationDate="2014-10-15T23:39:28.860" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the introvert/extrovert difference is a red herring in this case (and I say that as an introvert myself). Instead, I think the difficulties you are running into are from two issues which are unrelated to extroversion:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Following Rules&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The responsible authorities (his parents) have made a rule: No entering siblings' rooms without permission. That rule needs to be followed. It doesn't matter if he doesn't see a reason for it. It doesn't matter if he disagrees with the rule. It doesn't matter if the rule is inconvenient for him at the time. That's the rule that's in force, and he is supposed to obey it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should clarify that I'm not promoting blind obedience to rules, or for parents to be dictatorial. There's certainly should be space and ability to question rules and get the rationale for rules he doesn't understand explained to him. But he needs to learn that there are productive and acceptable ways of doing that and simply ignoring the rule is not appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His extroversion is certainly an explanation to you as to why he might not understand or agree with the rule, but that doesn't change the fact that he knows what the rule is, and that he should be obeying it even if he doesn't completely understand or agree with it. It's a standard &quot;my child doesn't obey rules&quot; situation, and should be treated as such - extroversion isn't really a complicating factor here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Empathy&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think this is a critical issue to address. One of the problems is an underdeveloped sense of empathy on the part of your son toward his sister. Even outside of the parent-imposed rule, your son should have realized that he was doing something wrong when his sister started to scream at him (or before). It's critical for children to learn to &quot;put themselves in other peoples shoes&quot; - to understand that other people have wants/needs/desires which may be different or even conflicting with their own wants/needs/desires. They then need to learn how to respect others' wishes, even if that conflicts with their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a well-developed sense of empathy, your son would be able to recognize that his sister likes her alone time and that he should respect that out of respect for her, even if he doesn't understand why she likes it, or see the need for alone time himself. Note that this will extend to other differences in needs/desires between them, even ones unrelated to the introvert/extrovert distinction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, techniques for nurturing empathy aren't as well worn as ones about getting kids to follow rules. (I don't have resources I can endorse whole-heartedly, but Googling &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=empathy%20children&quot;&gt;&quot;empathy children&quot;&lt;/a&gt; should get you started.) You're also dealing with developmental stages issues - the capacity for empathy is something that matures as a child develops (it hinges on having a well-developed &quot;theory of mind&quot; to be able to think about how other people think and feel). From what I understand, seven is on the cusp of having a full-blown empathetic relationship with others, so complex empathy may be difficult for him at the start, but you can certainly start planting the seeds for thinking about others having desires which may be different from his own, and how he can go about honoring and respecting them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11170" LastActivityDate="2014-10-15T23:39:28.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11266" CreationDate="2014-10-16T07:14:04.947" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lego Duplo are building blocks sized for toddlers, so I figured Lego probably publishes some Duplo games. Turns out they do! I found one and from there just clicked onward on the &quot;related apps&quot; that were listed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T07:14:04.947" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16185" CreationDate="2014-10-16T07:28:09.447" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This does seem perfectly normal behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of my 3 kids, one would be perfectly happy on her own in the middle of a field. One of the others really wants company at all times, so being on her own is like a punishment for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son may be feeling upset by the enforced lack of company - for him, being with his sister is a good thing. And at that age he won't necessarily understand that his sister may not feel the same way. As you can imagine, this can be very confusing for a small child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To solve this you will need to work with both your children - helping your son understand the benefits of alone time, and helping your daughter understand that her brother really wants to play with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will end up being a middle ground where both can be reasonably happy most of the time, and this will get easier. (And probably harder again at teenage years, but you can worry about that when it comes :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T07:28:09.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16185" CreationDate="2014-10-16T09:49:10.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Avoid the need to re-train your son into introvert behaviour and book him into clubs and activities for those times.  That removes him from the home allowing you to all lead the lives you lead and provides him with fun, fulfilling activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T09:49:10.417" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16199" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-16T12:58:33.670" Score="2" ViewCount="358" Body="&lt;p&gt;The school recently held one of its regular parents' meeting, the first after our 8 year old daughter started her new class with a new teacher. She dislikes this teacher, complaining she is overly strict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The feedback we go is that while our daughter is very clever, she does not pay attention, and is prone to minor misbehaviour. This is beyond the standard &quot;bright kids get bored in class&quot;. She does it at home, for one thing. And the teacher gave other examples, such as daughter sitting reading a book when the rest of the class had been called to attention. She is very unaware of her surroundings, often lost in her own world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;he knows what the &quot;right&quot; thing to do is, and I suspect the root cause is essentially being unable to delay gratification. It's more fun to read a book than listen to the teacher. It's so tempting to whisper with your friends rather than paying attention. It's great to go whereever you want in your head rather than pay attention to the here and now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this is very common in children, and it's something they learn as they grow up. But the teacher seemed very certain she expected better at this age. I was very much like this as a child myself. But my parents were never able to successfully teach me how to be more focussed, better at delaying short term gain for longer term rewards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm still not very good at it now, and I often wish I could have learned more about how to do it as a child. But I'm not sure what my parents could have done differently, or what I could do as a parent myself. Lectures and positive reinforcement have had only minimal effect. What else can we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found this question on the subject:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2500/in-what-ways-can-you-help-a-child-develop-self-control-and-delayed-or-deferred-g&quot;&gt;In what ways can you help a child develop self-control and delayed or deferred gratification?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;But it's for a younger child. We're beyond that stage now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7444" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2014-12-26T01:50:38.950" Title="How to teach greater attention and the ability to delay gratification?" Tags="|education|attention|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16186" CreationDate="2014-10-16T15:27:06.163" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;While you should definitely vet the content of movies you let your child watch, Disney movies are perhaps the least problematic in this regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's look at a few Disney movies with these Princess characters.  I'm going to limit it to the previous century to avoid an incredibly unweildy list problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Snow White&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here right off the bat we do have a problem.  Snow White is at its very core a story about beauty, and a princess who is envied for her beauty, and who wishes for her prince to come one day to rescue her.  So it could be problematic, but let's look at it a little closer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's true that Snow White's most lauded attribute is her beauty, it's clear that she has many other positive features - humbleness and kindness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's also consider that while she is the focus of the story, she's not the lead actor of the peice - the dwarves by far do much more than she does, and will likely be what entertains your child most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, you may want to wait this one out until your child is better-acquainted with princesses, given Snow White's lack of direct involvement in her own destiny.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cinderella&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This one might be problematic too.  The premise is of a daughter who has natural beauty that the wicked stepmother and her stepsisters are jealous of, and that only by getting a special chance to go to the ball and impress the prince with her beauty can she escape this lifestyle.  While she does show some personal talents and resolve, this is probably the movie where most of the princess-complex fear comes from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, it's not nearly as bad as you might think.  Her 'beauty' comes more from the way she conducts herself - far more humble and kindhearted than her wicked sisters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Alice In Wonderland&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She counts, she definitely counts, and is definitely a major departure from the previous two characters.  Not only is there not even a hint of her acting like a typical princess, she's an independent, self-driven character.  The whole story is very...abstract in any case, so you really don't have to worry about any princess complex developing from this at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Peter Pan&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm mentioning this one because of Wendy.  She plays a very prominent role in the story, and could even be considered a protagonist in her own right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lady and the Tramp&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do dogs count?  Bit of a wash here, more about preconceptions of beauty than anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sleeping Beauty&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might be surprised that this movie paints a rather progressive picture of Aurora (the princess) who certainly has dreams of meeting a handsome prince, but is also a lively, progressive and imaginative character, and not just motivation for the prince's crusade (In fact, at the beginning the young prince who's arranged to marry the newborn baby is amusingly disgusted by the idea, just like a young boy would be).  You might run into some trouble with the fairy 'gifts' to her though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Aristocats&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do CATS count?  Maybe...the female leads aren't exactly pro-active, but the young child and mother cat are just that, and really aren't anything to be concerned over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Robin Hood&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do Foxes-Okay let's just say they count.  Maid Merrian instantly falls in love with Robin Hood and is the object of his affection, and doesn't do quite enough to warrant herself as a progressive heroine type, and there isn't much to make up for it either.  It's a very simple movie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Little Mermaid&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aaaah, okay then, here's a movie that is RIFE with problematic messages.  A young princess whose beauty and gorgeous voice is renouned who gives up her entire life to be with some guy she just saw on the beach one day.  Giving up her VOICE no less.  And endangering her whole family.  Granted, she has very independent tastes of her own and a fascination to know more than what she's been given in life, but I can definitely see a lot of red flags going up in terms of 'will this send the wrong message to my child'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Beauty and the Beast&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, this movie has two sides to it that need to be addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On one hand, you have Belle in the countryside, who is book-focused and intellectual against the provincial lifestyle of the townsfolk, right up to outright rejecting the boorish nature of the town's favorite man Gaston (who no one is like in any way).  There's a lot to be said about the positive message sent here...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then she gets captured by a Beast...she still loves reading, and she still has an independent nature, but there's something very...captured-princess about her situation that might rub you the wrong way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, if you don't mind the message that you can find beauty under something that looks ugly, it's definitely not a bad choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Aladdin&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jasmine's attire immediately brings up some concerns here. But let's try to look past that.  She's definitely treated at the start of a movie as an object to be won, which she is &lt;em&gt;vehemently&lt;/em&gt; against, to the point of running away and objecting to every suitor sent to her.  It definitely teaches that there's much more to a girl than just 'being the beauty to be won', though it may emphasize an idealistic 'true love' a bit more than you'd care for.  If not though, Jasmine's not a bad role model.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Lion King&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to say lions don't count.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pocahontas&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been awhile since I really saw this movie, but Pocahontas has a LOT more going for her than just pure beauty.  She's free-spirited, wise in her own way, and very strong, even stopping a war.  Not a bad choice, though you might want to vet this one more personally for other reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Hunchback of Notre Dame&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Esmerelda's fairly independent.  I don't remember this movie all that well, but she doesn't give of a huge princess vibe from what I can remember...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Hercules&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could be problematic.  Meg's chief characteristic is that she's a princess that Hercules 'saves' and that she falls in love with him, something that gets used against him in the end, and that he gives up Godhood for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mulan&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...Okay I could go on forever about this one, but if you need any evidence that there are movies with Disney 'princesses' who do more than just sit around and wait for a prince to rescue them, just take this movie and watch it with your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tarzan&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll call this one a wash, since the leading lady is an anthropologist who winds up staying in the jungle with Tarzan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;All in All&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're really concerned about your daughter latching on to the idea of being a princess, there may be one or two movies that would re-enforce that, but not nearly to the degree you might think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also note that regardless of what movies you expose your daughter to, she IS going to be exposed to this, one way or another, without your own input.  It's ingrained into our culture. Her friends or family friends or even just TV commercials will introduce her to the idea, and it's better that you expose it to her in as positive a way as you can then to just let her find out about it on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you might want to at least try to avoid, however, is the Disney Princess &lt;em&gt;toyline&lt;/em&gt;.  Toys wash away these positive self-asserting aspects of the character and make them into little more than just princesses wearing cute dresses and tittering about castles all day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...Or if you feel like your daughter can handle it, just get a few toys for her and introduce her to a few positive female role models on your own.  A single movie or a few needlessly pandering toys aren't going to ruin your child's self-image.  Not if you're there to answer her questions about what being a princess really means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastEditorUserId="14742" LastEditDate="2024-03-12T07:38:48.900" LastActivityDate="2024-03-12T07:38:48.900" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2014-10-16T15:39:07.430" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You actually might not have to wake to feed. Infants will sometimes be able to nurse even while they are sleeping. I would definitely ask your doctor at your 1 month checkup (make sure growth is on track). We had issues and were told to let ours drink as much as she wanted and then let her sleep as long as she wanted unless it was getting close to 5 hours. Being only two weeks old, this is a very important time in development and getting the proper nutrients and frequency is nothing to glaze over because you are tired (I know it's hard!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9744" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T15:39:07.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16202" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-16T16:04:43.850" Score="1" ViewCount="657" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two beautiful 11-month-old girls who were born in November, last year.&#xA;I formula feed them the same amount. Also, they eat the same quantity of finger food, soups, vegetables and even chicken popcorn.&#xA;Basically they both consume the same quantity food.&#xA;But Sneha weighs only 15.2 lbs whereas Rose weighs 32 lbs :(&#xA;Sneha loves crawling and can't sit in one place. The only time she is not moving is when she is sleeping, and she doesn't sleep for more than 5 hours in the night, and takes no nap in the day :(&#xA;She craves attention and loves continuously troubling Rose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Poor Rose on the other hand, is my pink cheek sweet baby who loves sleeping and eating. She hates crawling and loves lying down on the cot and watching TV, while Sneha loves to crawl around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The HV isn't bothered about their weight now. He feels when the baby will start walking, she will eventually loose some weight. But being a mum, I am not fully convinced. I also wanted to add that Rose was only breastfeed completely for the first six months, whereas Sneha was formula fed ( Aptamil). Sneha never had breast milk. Could that be the reason for such low weight?&#xA;Any suggestions please!  I am a single, first-time mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="4652" LastEditDate="2014-10-16T19:30:06.723" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T20:43:41.467" Title="My twin Daughters are very different in size!" Tags="|infant|health|feeding|twins|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2014-10-21T12:41:15.543" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16199" CreationDate="2014-10-16T16:23:28.053" Score="-7" Body="&lt;p&gt;She needs to be disciplined ASAP.&#xA;Explain to her clearly that if teacher calls her then she needs to go immediately and cant sit reading book or do what she wants.&#xA;It is a school, not her home that she can do whatever she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T16:23:28.053" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2014-10-16T17:03:02.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why do u want to wake up your baby to feed? Does the baby sleep the whole night without waking up? &#xA;If so, then make sure u give a good feed just before he goes to sleep. There is no need to wake.up the child at night just for a feed. Babies will ask food themselves by Crying if they are really hungry.&#xA;And just consider yourself really lucky to have a baby who doesnt wake.up 10 times in the middle of night.&#xA;Count your blessing and sleep in.peace :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T17:03:02.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15077" CreationDate="2014-10-16T17:38:10.783" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Go the Cold Turkey way and never stay with the toddler in the bed until they fall asleep, as it may encourage their attention-seeking behaviour.&#xA;If this doesn't work, lock the child in his room and don't unlock until the next morning. (but this is little harsh)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-18T23:43:13.633" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:43:13.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14634" CreationDate="2014-10-16T18:42:36.400" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even I have twins 11 mo old and one of them is somewhat underweight, tiny and very Fussy.&#xA;She loves crying and constantly pokes and loves troubling her Twin sister.&#xA;So I let her CRY.&#xA;It helps in removing pent up frustration and makes her Feel better.&#xA;I wait for 15 minutes to let her stop crying by herself and when she does stop, I pick her in my arms and give her lots of hugs and cuddles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T18:42:36.400" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16202" CreationDate="2014-10-16T19:27:19.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good question, and I see where you would be concerned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I don't think the breast milk had anything to do with it, because formula fed babies are usually fatter, and you've got the opposite going here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, it seems to be more about the exercise Sneha gets that Rose doesn't. If they eat the same amount of food, but Sneha burns it all off while crawling around, it makes sense she would weigh less. Sneha was also smaller to begin with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, since they aren't identical, they won't necessarily be the same size. Instead of thinking of them as twins that should be the same size, they are really more like regular siblings (that just happened to be born at the same time). Since people have kids that vary greatly in sizes, your kids might too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first nephew is a tiny child (he's 4, and most 2-3 year olds are much bigger than him).&#xA;My second nephew is only 1, and is a huge chunker. Although they are full siblings, they are totally different. Your daughters can be completely different in size and still be healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your HV says it's fine, he's probably right. Don't try to overfeed Sneha to catch her up in weight. You could try to encourage Rose to crawl more and be more active, but she'll more than likely pick it up on her own time. My only concern is why an 11 month old is watching TV, but that's a different issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4652" LastEditorUserId="4652" LastEditDate="2014-10-16T20:43:41.467" LastActivityDate="2014-10-16T20:43:41.467" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16219" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-17T05:27:03.863" Score="1" ViewCount="557" Body="&lt;p&gt;Which formula milk is the best for gassy babies? I have 11 month old twin girls and I give them Aptamil. It's nice but they don't like the flavour and get gassy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So which is the best milk out of these: SMA, Cow &amp;amp; Gate, Aptamil, Nestle NAN or Enfamil?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-17T06:17:46.457" LastActivityDate="2018-04-11T10:25:32.300" Title="Which is the best formula for gassy babies?" Tags="|formula|twins|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="399" CreationDate="2014-10-17T05:35:41.383" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to my 24 years experience of consultancy, punishment is not necessary lot of other method to control  bad habits of child of any age e.g if she ask for wearing short skirt in early age of school, so first you completely defined her about this action, and at the same time find some good videos of good spokesman/spokeswoman about this issue and share her with your presence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But at the same,some issue needs punishment e.g religious issue; in Islam boyfriend and girlfriend are not allowed. Ethical; if he/she use vulgar language or activities so please use replacement theory give him/her alternate words or vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Steps of punishment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Only use hard words with soft gesture.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use hard words with hard gesture.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stick with soft hand with soft hand.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stick with hard hand with soft words.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stick with hard hand with hard words.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11139" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-10-17T09:08:47.617" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T09:08:47.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16219" CreationDate="2014-10-17T06:23:31.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies are often gassy. My 11 month old LO sometimes farts like an adult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm certain that at 11 months your girls eat many different things. Each and every one of those could make them gassy. Try to skip the formula for a few days, just feed them normally and give them water or watered juice. They will, most likely, still be gassy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking about particular products is not a good idea. Mostly because all children are different - and they react to formulas differently. Whatever specific answer you get here will be subjective and may not apply to your little ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try different formulas yourself. Check which one the girls like best, which, perhaps, make them less gassy. A week or two with each should be enough to get a general idea how each works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T06:23:31.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16222" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16223" CreationDate="2014-10-17T07:17:55.763" Score="1" ViewCount="687" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today is my 6 year old Niece's birthday and When I called her with wishes, she sounded really sad :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand her parents are mad at her after what she did last year, but she is just a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last year, when she was in Grade 1,  she was caught in the bathroom with a guy of her age. She was just 5 years then and she was not actually doing anything. She admitted she just wanted to see his &lt;em&gt;pee pee&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister in law was distressed but explained to her daughter &quot;to not do it&quot; which she did. So my niece and that kid still remained friends as my sister in law felt my niece had learnt her lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day,  she entered my niece's room to give them snacks and discovered The kid's short on the floor and my niece rubbing his Willy and it was aroused. After that incident her parents don't talk to her much, no birthday party, no movies, no friends... Nothing. She is leading a sad lonely life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestion or help will be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="4229" LastEditDate="2014-10-17T11:29:36.107" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T11:29:36.107" Title="My Niece is treated as an Outcast by her own Parents" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16222" CreationDate="2014-10-17T08:52:17.613" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you spoken to the parents about this? Parenting is difficult and I could imagine that they are having serious trouble dealing with this situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are not in a position to interfere as long as the parents are not breaking any laws, but you can still show interest and ask questions. If they're already embarrassed by her behavior, they'll probably not feel good about discussing it with you, and you should definitely be careful about giving unsolicited advice. It's a delicate matter even in more accepting cultures!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T08:52:17.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16186" CreationDate="2014-10-17T11:03:42.247" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Joe and Zibbobz have already given great answers, but here are a few of my own opinions on some of the Disney films. For reference I have a five year old daughter, and a four year old son, so am naturally concerned about the messages in the films they watch. Also because I watch along with them, and I don't want to have to sit through a couple of hours of complete crud, whether they're actually any good is a big concern for me too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;There may be some spoilers.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more modern ones first...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Princess and the Frog&lt;/strong&gt; seems to have marked the beginnings of a second Disney renaissance. Tiana is a good female lead character with a strong work ethic. Doctor Facilier is a bit scary for the little ones. One of the good guys dies, and actually stays dead rather than being brought back to life at the end magically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tangled&lt;/strong&gt; is a great film. Like many Disney films, the hero and heroine fall in love unrealistically quickly, which is an annoyance from a role-model-providing perspective, but ho-hum, it's balanced out by the fact that Rapunzel is actually a bit of a bad-ass action hero. (Watch the scene with the dam bursting if you don't believe me.) Good music, lots of laughs, gorgeous animation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brave&lt;/strong&gt; I've only watched a couple of times, but I found it refreshingly non-American. Unlike most Disney princess films, the entire story revolves around Merida (the princess in question) trying to &lt;em&gt;avoid&lt;/em&gt; getting married off as a teenager. She shoots arrows, she wrestles bears, what more can you ask for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Frozen&lt;/strong&gt; is one of the greatest films ever. Possibly the greatest. Ever. I will not have a single bad thing said about it. If you have not seen Frozen, stop what you're doing, and go and see it now. Seriously, now. This post will still be here for you to continue reading once you get back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, seen it? Did you like the bit with the... yeah? Yeah, awesome, wasn't it?! And the bit where he... yeah? That was clever, right? Didn't see that one coming - but there are actually clues early on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you went and watched it like I told you to, you know exactly what I was talking about in the last paragraph. Exactly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Oh, and if you like Frozen, you should probably check out &lt;strong&gt;Tinker Bell: Secret of the Wings&lt;/strong&gt; which is basically just Frozen with fairies.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sofia the First&lt;/strong&gt; is mostly alright. There are quite a few stereotypes in it, but the plot is mostly about Sofia smashing through them. She's not often in need of rescuing, but when she is it's usually another princess who rescues her. Sofia the First is not a theatrical Disney film, but a television series, though there have been a couple of feature-length episodes (and a third due next month).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, pretty much any of the post-2009 ones are fine. Let's look at selected earlier ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mulan&lt;/strong&gt; is great. OK, so to begin with she needs to dress up as a boy to get taken seriously, but she shows that girls can do anything boys can do. (And dammit if I don't get a tear in my eye anytime I even &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; about her retrieving the arrow from the top of the post!) The Eddie Murphy character is a little irritating, but the kids seem to think he's funny. Shan Yu is pretty scary for young kids. It's a shame they added the romantic subplot; the film would have stood up without it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mulan isn't really a princess though, even if she's included in the Disney Princess line-up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Beauty and the Beast&lt;/strong&gt; is fairly good. Belle is not just a pretty face, but smart too. She's not afraid to get stuck into the action - at the beginning she braves the forest to go and rescue her father, and later on she figures out how to break out of a locked basement. The animation is gorgeous, and the songs are pretty good too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Atlantic: The Lost Empire&lt;/strong&gt; is a slightly off-kilter Disney film. More Sci-Fi than fairy tale. I'm not quite sure if I like it or not. It does have a princess though - Princess Kida. She's barely in the first half of the film, but she's pretty cool. She gets turned into a weird glowing blue spirit thing, but she turns back to normal at the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In &lt;strong&gt;The Lion King&lt;/strong&gt;, does Nala count as a princess? Probably. She's a strong character, but mostly that just results in her inspiring Simba, the real hero of the story to take action. Can a lion be classed as a role model for girls? My son wants to be a plane when he grows up, so why not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Aladdin&lt;/strong&gt;: Princess Jasmine has quite an independent personality, but the film doesn't really go anywhere with that. She's mostly just the love interest for the hero.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pocahontas&lt;/strong&gt; is probably a good role model for girls, but I yawned too much through that film to ever notice. I don't think she's actually a princess either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Snow White&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;Sleeping Beauty&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;Cinderella&lt;/strong&gt;, and &lt;strong&gt;The Little Mermaid&lt;/strong&gt; are all awful, awful films. (Though the Little Mermaid is at least nicely animated, with fairly good music.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastEditorUserId="6511" LastEditDate="2014-10-17T12:03:45.153" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T12:03:45.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16199" CreationDate="2014-10-17T13:09:04.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found this to be a very good general rule: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Do not simply try to stop your child from behaving in a way you disapprove of, but ask (yourself)&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;she behaves the way she does.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have found the cause for the behavior you want to suppress, the way to change the behavior often becomes obvious. (More often than never you'll find out that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; will have to change, BTW.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possible causes here are either physical or psychological. Have you had her tested for ADD/ADHD or similar things? If I were you, I'd try to get a definite answer on this one, first. This can be inherited, so if you were similar, there's a chance this is the problem. (Were you checked for this when you were a child?) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is not something physical, then maybe a psychotherapist specialized on children could help you to get at the reasons? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-12-25T21:01:01.587" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T21:01:01.587" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16226" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16227" CreationDate="2014-10-17T13:40:13.623" Score="41" ViewCount="38373" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few questions about the iPad, but I am interested in knowing if such a habit has bad impacts on my son. He watches YouTube for hours and hours. I can't deny that he has learned some good things like counting, but it's like he lives in his own world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2020-08-23T15:17:40.790" LastActivityDate="2020-08-23T15:17:40.790" Title="Is it too dangerous for my 2-year-old son to watch YouTube on the iPad for hours?" Tags="|toddler|television|screen-time|tablet-computer|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16226" CreationDate="2014-10-17T13:56:32.620" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is sufficient reason, imo, to be concerned. Research findings to date might suggest a correlation between television viewing and developmental problems, but they cannot show causality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enough, in fact, that the American Academy of Pediatrics has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/Media-and-Children.aspx&quot;&gt;issued a policy statement&lt;/a&gt; suggesting that children 2 and older be restricted to no more than 1 to 2 hours of &quot;high quality&quot; television a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Borrowing from a previous answer I posted, here is some relevant research:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The concerns are stronger in the area of language development.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html&quot;&gt;TED talk&lt;/a&gt; describes how minimal the impact of television on a toddler's language development is (2% as effective as a real person).  In addition, a television being on generally reduces the amount of language interactions the baby has with the parents, as, at best, both the baby and the parents will be distracted by the television, and at worst the parents will use the television as an opportunity to engage in activities that do not involve the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From an &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/1040.full&quot;&gt;AAP media release&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Children younger than 5 years who watch television spend less time in creative play and less time interacting with parents or siblings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;For every hour of television that a child younger than 2 years watches alone, he or she spends an additional 52 minutes less time per day interacting with a parent or sibling. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;For every hour of television, there is 9% less time on weekdays and 11% less time on weekends spent in creative play for a child younger than 2 years.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;However, children who live in households with heavy media use spend between 25% (for 3- to 4-year-olds) and 38% (for 5- to 6-year-olds) less time being read to or reading.&lt;sup&gt;3,4&lt;/sup&gt; These children have a lower likelihood of being able to read compared with their peers from households with low media use.&lt;sup&gt;4&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Although parents perceive a televised program to be a calming sleep aid, some programs actually increase bedtime resistance, delay the onset of sleep, cause anxiety about falling asleep, and shorten sleep duration.&lt;sup&gt;41&lt;/sup&gt; Specifically, in children younger than 3 years, television viewing is associated with irregular sleep schedules.&lt;sup&gt;42&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2014-10-17T16:14:52.650" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T16:14:52.650" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16226" CreationDate="2014-10-17T15:52:19.307" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Beofett's answer is excellent, but I would like to add a few personal observations which were too long for a comment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Youtube, specifically, can be very hard to control. Our toddler (3.5 years) does get to watch stuff there, but you have to be vigilant. Examples: Looking at toys helicopters, easily browsed to real helicopters, then to some wartime reporting (which I felt he is too young to deal with). In another example, someone had used a children's show as a parody, and turned it into something very scary. There is a lot of strange stuff on youtube, and whenever we don't have time to monitor what he sees, he get to see more controlled children's show in apps (amazon Prime, iTunes, apps based on IPs, PBS kids are all options)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;there are many things to do on an ipad that is more engaging than TV ( and I personally feel the recommendations for screen time is off, as passive vs active watching is very different to me). For the iPad, look for games by the company Duck Duck Moose, for instance. Our kid loves those. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;from personal observance, watching before bedtime is a bad idea (as the studies linked in Beofett's resource also point out)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;lastly, we do use the iPad for him to watch stuff even if it is not recommended, but we take 'breaks', weeks without using it. I think this is important, at least depending on the kids personality. We noticed that sometimes when he used it many days in a row, it was a) his go to 'toy' and b) he whined and cried a lot when we told him to stop. Whenever he uses it occasionally instead, he is much less interested in it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T15:52:19.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16229" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16231" CreationDate="2014-10-17T16:37:06.423" Score="6" ViewCount="696" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know that every kid hits milestones at different times, and there's no real &quot;right&quot; age, but roughly when should by son (now 4) start to really understand things like &quot;next month&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He kind of, sort of, knows his days of the week, but still has trouble conceptualizing &quot;we're going to visit your friend a week from tomorrow... today is Monday.  Tomorrow is Tuesday, then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday again, and then Tuesday again, and we'll see her then.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying to explain things like &quot;how long until Christmas&quot; seems pretty futile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what point should we start to see him being able to make these connections?  Are there things that we can do to help him gain a better perspective on time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T01:59:14.433" Title="At what point are children developmentally able to understand long periods of time?" Tags="|pre-schooler|cognitive-development|milestones|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16230" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16233" CreationDate="2014-10-17T16:49:49.853" Score="-2" ViewCount="236" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 mo twins are difficult to handle and I feel very sleepy. I am sleep deprived. I find it so hard to concentrate. Also my tiny baby constantly beats and pokes my other twin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T21:44:45.023" Title="Why am I sleep deprived?" Tags="|twins|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-10-18T14:41:47.627" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16229" CreationDate="2014-10-17T17:49:14.687" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year-old only differentiates time out to about a week.  He understands longer time intervals, but just doesn't &lt;em&gt;care&lt;/em&gt;.  To him, if it's not until next week, it may as well be next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My four year-old often still says &quot;tomorrow&quot; when she means &quot;sometime in the future.&quot;  However, if I press her, she will admit she didn't mean &lt;em&gt;tomorrow&lt;/em&gt; tomorrow, she meant in a long time.  She understands there's a difference, but doesn't care.  If it's not happening today, it may as well be next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Verbally, there's not much we've found that helps.  We just use their own categories and say &quot;not for a long time&quot; if it's outside their &quot;temporal zone.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Visually, we have a calendar that my wife Xs off with the kids each morning as part of their routine.  When they're excited about an event, we can show them on the calendar.  They can usually remember the day even if we don't mark it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've found this helps them visualize time intervals better.  At the very least, it gives us somewhere to redirect their repeated questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how much of the problem with our four year-old is that she simply isn't familiar enough with the terms yet.  That's something you have to explicitly teach.  My wife started using this &quot;time wall&quot; to teach it, but it's too soon to tell how much it will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/nGb5y.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;time wall&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T17:49:14.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16232" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="33542" CreationDate="2014-10-17T19:51:31.663" Score="25" ViewCount="1721" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend received this baby pack from our local &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sure_Start&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sure Start&lt;/a&gt; center (they're a UK children's initiative for those who don't know).  It contained various, obviously useful items for people with a baby and these (pictured). We don't know what they are but we're assuming they're some kind of baby proofing device? Does anyone recognize what they are? There's no information or instructions in the pack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/KJpEg.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Odd Items&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11195" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-14T13:42:38.550" LastActivityDate="2019-01-14T13:42:38.550" Title="What are these? Received from children's centre in free pack" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16230" CreationDate="2014-10-17T21:44:45.023" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;All parents are sleep deprived; parents of twins even more so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get help for a couple of hours every day during which you can take a long nap, it will help to reduce your sleep deficit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some hospitals have information on coping with twins and volunteers who will help the parents of multiple gestations. Perhaps you can ask at the hospital where your twins were born, or your doctor or HV; or perhaps you have some friends who have asked if and how they can help. Don't be shy; tell them you'd love to get some much needed sleep. Have them put the word out to your friends. Most people are happy to help, and if five people help once a week, that's significant. If you see a social worker for any reason, ask there, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleep when your babies sleep, and optimize their sleep schedules as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-17T21:44:45.023" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16226" CreationDate="2014-10-18T02:34:51.083" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the other hand ... I was making my living as a freelance graphic designer when my children were small (way pre-iPad), and was constantly reading warnings against letting children spend too much time on the computer. I read to them a great deal, and did other activities with them as a &quot;stay-at-home mom.&quot; But since I was actually making my living at home, a large amount of most days my attention was focused on meeting work deadlines. So I pretty much let my kids' passions choose how they spent their time, and much of it was on computers and game consoles. All three kids turned out to be adept digital artists and very tech literate. My son, now 31, creates computer games. My 30-year-old daughter is a very capable mother of three and a freelance illustrator. My third, now 24, stunned me by starting to read at age 3, having worked out the words &quot;start&quot; and &quot;enter.&quot; She was reading on her own at age 4, and writing her own stories at age 5. She is now co-creating full-length graphic novel. It's my belief that children are resilient, and those with parents who teach and encourage them learn. I think the correlations with TV use (or computer, or YouTube, or digital games) most likely reflect more strongly the education levels of their parents and the absence of alternative environments for playing and exploring in their homes and neighborhoods, rather than dangers lurking in over-use of electronic gadgets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11199" LastActivityDate="2014-10-18T02:34:51.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16226" CreationDate="2014-10-18T15:52:23.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Play with your kid, read good book for him, talk with him, teach him!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing we did while planning kids - we've thrown TV away. At all. We don't have a similar device at home. My daughter (5 yrs now) watches cartoons and programs that I choose for 15-30 minutes per day WITH ME on the screen using my laptop and projector. We speak about what we are watching, commenting, laughing together etc. If you are so bored of you kid that you are leaving him with youtube for hours, just give the kid to another family!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for my English - it is not my mother language ))&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11205" LastEditorUserId="11157" LastEditDate="2014-10-19T00:35:08.470" LastActivityDate="2014-10-19T00:35:08.470" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16239" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-18T16:13:28.983" Score="0" ViewCount="201" Body="&lt;p&gt;My babies troubling me and each other . They are 11 mo twins .&#xA;I have decided to put them in their separate cot into their rooms when they cry and come back to their room once they stop crying. Does this sound cruel ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-19T03:09:22.537" Title="Is it right to go the cold turkey way when babies cry?" Tags="|crying|twins|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-10-20T06:38:45.537" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16240" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16255" CreationDate="2014-10-18T16:44:11.583" Score="1" ViewCount="4129" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband's daughter has come to stay with us for a month. I have tried playing and talking with her, but she isn't interested. She also back answers me. She doesn't even look at my twin babies which breaks my heart. When my friends come over, she doesn't have the basic manners to say 'Hello' and wish them. She comes home very late at night (around 12) when I clearly explained to her not to go out after 7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is always on her phone continuously chatting with some guy even in the middle of night. My husband found out and confiscated her phone, but she bought a new one and resumed her chats. We don't know if she is actually in a relationship with some guy, because I am sure she would never do something so morally incorrect before marriage. Also, she doesn't wear her niqab (Burkha, a view to cover face) when she goes outside which is very disturbing, as strangers on the road can see her face.&#xA;It's just been a week since she has come here, and already she is the talk of the town. People are commenting on her morals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very afraid that she will be a bad influence on my twins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-10-20T12:02:11.787" LastActivityDate="2017-10-11T22:24:54.493" Title="Is my 14 year step daughter a bad influence on my children?" Tags="|discipline|teen|step-parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16239" CreationDate="2014-10-18T16:52:33.610" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I analysed my situation, I understood it is just the stress and no sleep which made me come to this decision of putting babies in.a room and leaving them.&#xA;I realised how cruel it is. Babies need me and I shouldn't disappoint them .&#xA;I love them a lot and hope the situation turns better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-18T16:52:33.610" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16240" CreationDate="2014-10-18T17:56:58.100" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is a child that has had her family torn apart, she may partly blame you, even if that is unfair. Ultimately the burden of responsibility for building a positive relationship is upon your shoulders, it probably won't be easy, even with out the cultural issues they are never easy, but it is going to be a lot harder if your primary concern is that her 'immoral' behavior is going to corrupt your own children (her brothers/sisters ?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should evaluate what your priorities are, is it building a relationship with your step daughter or is it what the neighbors think ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2014-10-18T17:56:58.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16240" CreationDate="2014-10-18T22:42:30.620" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You ask if she is a bad influence on your twins. The answer is no, not at this point, because their powers of observation are not so sharp that they will learn behaviors from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-18T22:42:30.620" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16239" CreationDate="2014-10-19T03:09:22.537" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of people try to ferberize their children and some studies have shown it has benefits. For the most part though when babies cry it's because there is a physiological need for them to cry, hunger, diaper or they need to bond with their mother. Leaving babies to cry when they are calling for their mother can form distrust toward the mother and cause anxiety and inability to handle stress in later adulthood. Also they may still be to young to understand what you're doing so it might not work very well right now, when their older (2-5) that would be a good time to try this. I have never had personal experience with this but my sister in law did it with her kids and it was terrible to watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11211" LastActivityDate="2014-10-19T03:09:22.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16246" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-19T16:29:02.560" Score="3" ViewCount="316" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, so I'm 25, I live alone with my three year old (fiancé moving in with us next year) her father isn't involved enough, her behaviour is awful, time outs don't work and everytime we have a showdown I can feel an anxiety attack coming on and I want to cry. I feel like such a faliure and I'm so tired of being judged as a bad mother because it feels like I spend all my time fighting her....it's always people without kids too- mainly university friends. I'm at my wits end and any discipline techniques and coping mechanisms would be greatly received!!!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11218" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T08:29:42.253" Title="I'm pretty sure I'm bound for the mental asylum" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2014-10-21T11:18:53.500" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16246" CreationDate="2014-10-20T01:45:07.000" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't get a three-year-old's behavior and emotions under her control if you can't get your own under your control. That's the first thing you've got to work on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by thinking through the interactions you're having that cause you grief some time and place where you're calm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make a plan on how you're going to react, what you'll do, how you'll&#xA;react if your first attempt fails, and what your second and third&#xA;steps will be.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can be certain you will not solve this in a day or a week or a&#xA;year. You'll be growing as a parent as she grows.    &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't beat yourself up when you fail, and don't give up when you&#xA;fail. Failure is temporary until you stop trying.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's easy to be the perfect parent when you don't have kids. It's also easy for one parent to have solutions problems they aren't experiencing, but you can be sure that they have problems of their own they haven't solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, last, and always, you've got to stay calm and rational yourself. As you've discovered, two emotional, angry people is a lot worse than one! I know it sounds like something I can easily say, but is hard to do, but I've been through what you're going through, and developing your own patience and self-control is vital to successful parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T01:45:07.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16226" CreationDate="2014-10-20T01:53:17.157" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/Managing-Media-We-Need-a-Plan.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;official recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt; is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Limit entertainment screen time to less than one or two hours per day; in children under 2, discourage screen media exposure.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Entertainment screen time&quot; is computers, tablets, phones, TV, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6487" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-24T00:01:50.407" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T00:01:50.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16229" CreationDate="2014-10-20T01:59:14.433" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I teach seventh grade (11 turning 12), and though the kids understand periods like months and years intellectually, many don't have an emotional feel for it. Any reward or punishment more than a week in the future is worthless. Anything more is so far in the future that it's insignificant compared to &quot;now&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to help him grasp &quot;one month&quot;, like the an upcoming trip to Disneyland, you could post a countdown calendar and cross off a day every night before bed. It might help, but I don't think it would solve a problem because I don't think you have a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T01:59:14.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16246" CreationDate="2014-10-20T09:41:34.130" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what you've typed, you're clearly overwhelmed at the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 1: Day without Child&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Arrange for a day where your child is either at their grandparent's, at the father's, at a nursery/creche, &lt;em&gt;anywhere safe&lt;/em&gt;, when you can relax, get some sleep and move on to the further steps. Until you get a bare minimum of distance for a day, it's really hard to actually &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; anything. Needing some space doesn't make you a bad mother. Arranging for some makes you a good mother.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 2: Organise your Assets&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What support do you have? Do you have relatives you can lean on in an emergency? Can your university friends babysit. If not, you &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to look into paid childcare, even if only for a day. Get a friendly neighbourhood teenager to take her to the park, or organise a playdate at someone else's house, promising to return the favour later. Don't be embarrassed to beg, this is important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 3: Make a Plan&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/16248/147&quot;&gt;What Marc says&lt;/a&gt; is pretty much perfect, and anyone upvoting my answer should upvote his. You feel a lot less like someone's judgement matters when you have a plan. And repeatable scenarios will provide your daughter with some structure.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 4: Cut Out the Negative Influences&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Identify anyone who makes you feel like you're struggling &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt;, even if they're trying to help, and form this plan:&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you actively helping me by doing something? If yes, I take advantage of that completely. If you've come over to play with her, I go for a lie down. If you've come over to see me, you're helping me get the chores done. If you've come over just for a coffee, you're making the coffee.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you don't like this, don't come over. No, seriously, I &lt;em&gt;literally do not have the time to look after two people&lt;/em&gt;, guest or no guest. Note that &quot;just wanting you to sit and talk for a bit&quot; is actually a big ask when you have 5 things to do and 1 hour of naptime to do it in. It still counts as looking after them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 5: Self-Identify as a Parent&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You are not having a &quot;showdown&quot; with your daughter. You'll have a showdown when she's 15, but right now, &lt;strong&gt;YOU ARE IN CHARGE&lt;/strong&gt; and she is being disobedient. This is not a negotiation, this is something where you can put her in her room and refuse to let her out if you want to.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Note that, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/16246/im-pretty-sure-im-bound-for-the-mental-asylum/16251#comment28310_16251&quot;&gt;as a comment to this post says&lt;/a&gt;, you're punishing the behaviour not the child. Once the row is over, they're still your little girl who behaved badly, they haven't become a &quot;bad child&quot;. So first, ask for an apology, and then sit down and explain. Then cuddles and reading (or TV if you're frazzled).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The counterbalance to this is that &lt;strong&gt;you need to construct your life where the situations where you &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to be in charge don't come up as much&lt;/strong&gt;. If you know there are foods or clothes she won't like, by simply not bringing them up or offering them. You're not trying to win, you're trying to live together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;By the same token, you &lt;em&gt;cannot make firm commitments about time&lt;/em&gt;. Not going to happen, give it up. If someone &quot;needs you to be there at 6&quot;, either they come over and help, or you can't go. Because &lt;em&gt;parent&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The only exception to the &quot;no firm commitments&quot; is your Work, and even there, they need to be flexible. I don't know where you live, but in the UK, they legally have to be. In the states not so much, but any decent firm will have ways of handling these issues. Alternatively, you need to compromise on certain things; e.g. &quot;Won't get dressed&quot; is going to become &quot;Willing to go to nursery in her pyjamas&quot;. You can mitigate this by having her &quot;pyjamas&quot; be basically loose fitting day clothes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope some of this helps, but know that we've all had these moments. It's really easy to become overwhelmed, and the best thing you can do is ask for real actual help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T08:29:42.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16226" CreationDate="2014-10-20T09:56:37.537" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the answers here appear to be about screen time, but it's also important to remember that YouTube is not designed to be a safe space for a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my son likes to watch Minecraft videos. Very often these have a very unsuitable adult voiceover, plus optional heavy metal soundtrack. Do you want some random teenager swearing and talking about sex in front of your kid?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My little girl enjoys nursery rhymes and the songs from Frozen. The recommended videos will often be adult parody videos, or will feature surprising scary content, especially around halloween.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very easy when following a stream of clickthroughs to get into some very dodgy content indeed, even with safe mode enabled. There's seriously some dark stuff on YouTube, I wouldn't leave a child on it un-attended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2014-10-21T09:00:03.837" LastActivityDate="2014-10-21T09:00:03.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14774" CreationDate="2014-10-20T10:25:02.550" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son does similar things. I've very recently understood that the issue is not my son, it is actually me. If I didn't react (regardless of how much it pushes my buttons) then there is no incentive to do it, because nothing will come of it other than being bored. My son tends to pull faces and rock his head side to side which does wind me up and I used to react to it but now I don't; I just ignore the behaviour and ask him kindly if he is being kind to me in the way he is talking to me. This actually helps him make be aware of what he's actually doing as kids don't actually like being unkind in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've also had the thing where when we need to go out things can take much longer than necessary. For those, ignoring the negative behaviour and trying to focus on positive behaviours or giving jobs may not work, unless you have done a reward chart of something like &quot;every time we are on time for school without me having to ask you to do anything you get a sticker, and if you get five/ten/whatever stickers you get a treat&quot;, which I can strongly recommend. Ultimately if it really is going badly you just need (and I am saying this from experience as I know how hard it is) to just very calmly put the child in control and say &quot;If you choose to take a long time and mess around, you are choosing to (whatever consequence)&quot; and then make sure you follow through if they make poor choices. And focus on the choices, not on the character of your LO. And as long as you keep calm, there is no reaction and no game for your LO to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately it is best to stick to rewards and positives, which is something that I've discovered FAR too late in my parenting but it makes everyone's lives much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T10:25:02.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16240" CreationDate="2014-10-20T12:33:09.030" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;A related question is &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8533/teenage-daughter-and-stepfather/8534&quot;&gt;Teenage daughter and stepfather&lt;/a&gt; and reading that you can see that teenagers invoke similar emotions in the adults who have to deal with them, even when other things about the family are different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me suggest a few things for you to try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't expect her to adore the new babies. You adore them, her father adores them, strangers on the street adore them -- instead of her! -- and on top of that she is expected to adore them too? She might secretly even like them, but as long as you expect her to fuss over them, she won't. Just let that be. They have decades to get to like each other&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do expect her to follow your house rules, but make them clear and explicit. This includes consequences for breaking them. If you and your husband don't want her to leave the house, you will have to rearrange your lives a bit to keep her company and ensure she doesn't. If she is embarrassing you by what she wears outside for the neighbours to see, you can go with her and remind her what to wear. Neither of you will enjoy that, of course, but parenting can be hard. (This is why some parents give up and let teens do whatever they want - it's really hard to do otherwise.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do ensure she feels truly welcome and at home in the house. She has to follow the house rules, but she is not some country cousin or stranger, she is family. She needs to feel accepted, or she will &quot;reject you first&quot; and say she doesn't care. She needs to feel loved even when she is acting unlovable. She needs to know that the adults in her life, who upended it and changed everything, are still willing to support her and help her and value her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;when you reach the point that your biggest problem is that she's a bit sulky, on her phone too much, and can't be bothered to be polite to your guests, congratulations! She's a regular teenager treating you as teenagers treat their families, even the ones they grew up with.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infant twins are not going to notice that a teenager is on her phone, much less who is on the other end of that phone. They're not going to notice what time someone comes in and goes out - though they might notice that her coming in means you and her father are both upset for a while. They're going to be influenced by what you do and say. Make sure you're saying &quot;family is family&quot; and &quot;we're in this together&quot;, not &quot;disappoint me and I'll cut you out of my life.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T12:33:09.030" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16256" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-20T13:00:48.580" Score="5" ViewCount="957" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter turned 5 in July this year and started Kindergarten 2 months ago. She loves school and seems to be learning a lot but struggles to focus on her task at hand and also with getting her tasks done in a timely manner. The same applies to her homework. Really difficult to keep her motivated and focused. Does anyone have any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2961" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T19:09:41.820" Title="Suggestions for a 5 year old girl who has trouble focusing" Tags="|focus|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16256" CreationDate="2014-10-20T14:07:46.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to keep things fun and light, break tasks up in to smaller more manageable tasks so she feels like she's not getting swamped and can tick them off the list as she goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you could look at adhd-inattentive symptoms:&#xA;(Sometimes a change of diet, low sugar, good sleep patterns might help too. kids can learn to focus, breaking down tasks helps a lot, especially if its kept fun! and not stressful)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;adhd-inattentive symptoms:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shift from task to task without finishing anything&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Become easily distracted&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Miss important details&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make careless mistakes in homework and tests&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get bored quickly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have trouble getting organized, for example losing homework assignments or         &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;keeping the bedroom messy and cluttered&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't seem to listen when spoken to&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Daydream&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are slow to understand information&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have trouble following instructions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;anyway hope it helps&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7887" LastEditorUserId="7887" LastEditDate="2014-10-20T19:09:41.820" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T19:09:41.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16256" CreationDate="2014-10-20T16:24:52.777" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you might want to ask your daughter's teacher if her focus problems are comparable or not to other students.  Sometimes, parents put a little too much trust in the schools, thinking they wouldn't assign this amount and type of work if it wasn't motivating and easy to complete for most students.  You might be surprised how many children are having the same kinds of problems as your daughter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've done quite a bit of research on this, as my son was having severe enough focus problems at school that we teach him at home now.  A quote from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2014/10/07/the-right-and-surprisingly-wrong-ways-to-get-kids-to-sit-still-in-class/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this recent article&lt;/a&gt; sums up fairly well what your daughter likely needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He needs more time to play and move his body. Fifteen minutes of recess is not enough. I recommend an hour-long recess session everyday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you know what the school's response to that suggestion was?  They laughed, because they didn't think they could possibly make the time, even though it would have vastly improved the student's ability to focus all day.  Some of the best school systems in the world give students a 10-15 minute break &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/06/how-finland-keeps-kids-focused/373544/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;every hour&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from petitioning the school for longer recesses and no homework, what can you do?  Give your daughter time for physical play in the morning, and after school before any homework.  Homework tends to be the most rote work of the day, and is expected to be done at a time of day when kids are already burned out, so take that into account.  Give her a break for physical activity after about every 10-15 minutes of homework.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to modify the assignments to better fit her interests.  Kindergarten teachers assign homework for a variety of reasons.  It might be as specific as needing to get better at recognizing certain sight words, or as vague as wanting to get parents involved.  Those reasons can often be fulfilled with different work than the boring stuff they send home.  My son often outright refused the school's writing assignments.  We worried he might have dyslexia or something.  Turns out, if you let him write about ninjas or robots, he will do it for hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T16:24:52.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16259" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16263" CreationDate="2014-10-20T17:05:28.263" Score="0" ViewCount="5900" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 14-year-old stepdaughter and 11-month-old twins. I am on the verge of collapse. I have told her 10 times to wrap her used pad in a piece of old newspaper and to put it in polyethylene / cloth bag and then throw it in the dust bin, which I have kept in her room along with old newspapers to make it easy for her. One day, she had kept it on her bed and it took me one hour to remove all the stains from the bedsheet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband is sick of her behaviour and says he can't tolerate her anymore. I don't want him to send her back again. I understand she behaves rudely and has no manners but please can someone tell me how to explain to her to not keep her blood-filled sanitary napkin on the floor of her bathroom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-02T15:09:50.567" LastActivityDate="2019-01-31T18:09:37.860" Title="How to tell my teenage stepdaughter to not leave her sanitary pad open in her room?" Tags="|teen|communication|step-parents|menstruation|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14808" CreationDate="2014-10-20T17:54:46.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it inconceivable that she just dislikes the sound? The other answers are somewhat worrying in that they don't seem to consider the possibility that children like and dislike different things and something that is appealing to you may not be to them. I'm curious to know whether you think this in itself is a problem, or whether you're just worried that your daughter is rejecting &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; rather than the activity?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11228" LastActivityDate="2014-10-20T17:54:46.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16259" CreationDate="2014-10-21T09:28:24.693" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter might even be (likely) totally aware on how to handle this properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, this sounds like a problem that's not so much an issue of practical nature, as it appears to be a matter of trust, empathy and mutual respect. You guys need to put understanding of each others perspective in front of anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though it's just words, and your husband might have expressed it differently, I think it sounds &quot;funny&quot; to me when you state that he says he doesn't tolerate her. There's a distinct difference between that, and not tolerating the outcome of things she does (i.e. not her in person). Perhaps it's your husband and your daughter that needs to talk, in a different way and communicate better? It really appears that you've done more than your fair share in this regard – what about him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How about asking him to try and be more gentle. Seriously. (Being gentle does not mean you're selling out on the integrity of your concerns, by the way.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He only needs to put it somwhere along the lines of …&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Hey sweetie. (Looking her in the eyes.) You know... This doesn't really work, right? Have you and mom talked this over, how to handle these pads? You see (look her in the eyes again if needed), dad's a little sensitive to blood. Don't you agree this is better placed in the dust bin anyway?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;… Being on HER side is the ONLY path out of this and similar situations. Get used to it: It may seem like the wrong thing to do – like handing over all the keys to HER and loosing your own will and power to command – but really, that's what needs to be done. Eventually, she'll be the sole commander of her own actions anyway. And maybe that's just what she needs, to be confirmed by you guys. Try to act more supportive in this matter, and don't alienate her in this – for her – new situation beginning to have her period. Sometimes her personal insights will come slowly, sometimes fast. Like you and me, right? Personal development isn't a fixed rate curve. Again, it's ALLRIGHT to progress slowly, as much as it is to do it quickly, in this regard. Only nature decides what's the proper/unique progression for your daughter. You guys are only there to support THAT curve. HER progression/development. NOT to support your own ideals of comfort, EVEN though I (as a parent to three 2/4/7 year old manic troll sons) have your full compassion and sympathy for the constant lack of energy a parent might suffer from. It comes with the territory, so to speak, from the day you choose to be a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As further advice, I think you should be prepared for the possibility that you might have to rinse and repeat this procedure a few times. (Bonus: for increased effect, try taking it from different angles each time, while keep telling it like a friend; provide nuances that might help support her personal insight.) All in all, if multiple times telling this is what it takes, refrain from freaking out, say, the third time … You're about to establish something that may or may not be new in her relation to her parents: trust. Real trust. Trust, as in friendship. And friendship as in, people who are looking up to each others greatness. It's delicate. But please don't ruin that bond – it's your foundation as a family – or the problems might start to multiply themselves if you establish trust, then break it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and all well to your whole family, Tiffany!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2125" LastEditorUserId="2125" LastEditDate="2014-10-21T09:34:04.187" LastActivityDate="2014-10-21T09:34:04.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16264" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-21T15:28:04.983" Score="1" ViewCount="166" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most infant guidance is based on a baby's age in weeks or months. From my very limited experience of parenting (7 months), it seems to me that it would make more sense to base any information and guidance on the weight and developmental milestones of the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, shouldn't guidance for sleep and food requirements for a 25 percentile 7 month old that crawls and is very active be different to that for a larger 7 month old which isn't yet very physically active?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7304" LastActivityDate="2014-10-21T23:39:23.980" Title="Why is infant development derived from their age?" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16264" CreationDate="2014-10-21T16:14:34.773" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Practicality.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not every baby is going to be the same, and guidelines for one baby are never going to be perfect for another baby with the same attribute, regardless of what you decide to base it off of.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age tends to be used as a baseline because it's the only abstract thing that all babies do equally - age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Say for your example you have two babies who are exactly the same weight, but one is much older than the other.  Clearly they are not equal, especially as far as nutrition is concerned (perhaps one baby is overweight, or perhaps one is malnourished.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is why guidelines should be treated as such: Guidelines, not exact rules.  You will need to use some common sense and self-judgement to determine if your child is at the appropriate age/weight/maturity/etc to follow that guideline.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2014-10-21T16:14:34.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8824" CreationDate="2014-10-21T17:32:45.827" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an inhome daycare and am battling this same issue with one of my little guys.  I have five children of my own and know very well about potty training issues.  My oldest children are in college.  I understand that we aren't supposed to be negative about accidents.  Accidents is the key word here.  Your son and my little guy aren't having accidents.  I will always be positive if a child is running up to me telling me they have to go potty and simply can't hold it any longer.  That's an accident.  When a child is deliberately peeing or pooping his pants when they know how to use the potty.....that's a behavior.  I am struggling with this now.  How to change the behavior!  I feel that negative consequence would be more effective than making sure you stay positive.  I have been talking to this childs parents about putting him back in diapers (which he doesn't want to do).  When he decides to behave like he knows how to then he can be rewarded with his big boy pants again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11233" LastActivityDate="2014-10-21T17:32:45.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16264" CreationDate="2014-10-21T23:39:23.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Essentially, &lt;em&gt;calendar age is a much simpler metric&lt;/em&gt; than weight and physical activity. It therefore is a simpler guideline for parents to follow, particularly if your child is out of infancy and going for longer stretches between pediatric checkups. If I am curious how much sleep a ten-month-old should get and I want to research the question, I easily know &quot;ten months old,&quot; but finding an accurate weight can be more challenging and physical activity can be a very subjective measure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also important to note that this simplicity is &lt;em&gt;adequate for most children&lt;/em&gt;. If a significant enough deviation from average is noticed, more nuanced guidance is definitely available. For example, we were simply told our baby should eat and sleep as much she wanted. I first heard &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; about specific caloric requirements when she was three years old, because she had begun to fall &quot;off the curve&quot; and the pediatrician wanted us to track her intake more closely. We weren't told &quot;toddlers require &lt;em&gt;n&lt;/em&gt; calories,&quot; but rather got advice based on a combination of height (average) and weight (&amp;lt; 2%ile).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-21T23:39:23.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16270" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-22T07:45:41.703" Score="2" ViewCount="140" Body="&lt;p&gt;When is it best to start establishing bed time routines?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I.e. Bath time? Reading a book? etc? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read Save our Sleep, which mentions its best to do it from early on, but i've had doctors tell me that after 3-4 months is better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9793" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-22T09:09:59.723" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T16:57:50.593" Title="Establishing bed time routines?" Tags="|bedtime|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16270" CreationDate="2014-10-22T09:09:23.230" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Around 3 months of age is, supposedly, the earliest it makes sense for the baby to react to it, to start actually getting used to it and profiting from it by going to sleep faster. A 1 mo baby goes to sleep as it wills, whatever routine we invent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you can and want to and it's not trouble for you - you can start the routine earlier. There's no harm, but, supposedly, no gain either. I would argue that such routine would be good for the parents, to have at least some (however flexible) schedule to keep some sanity in those earliest months;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T09:09:23.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16270" CreationDate="2014-10-22T10:39:33.137" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends in some part on your parenting philosophy, and whether you want to respond to all crying or not. I don't think it's a good idea to impose a schedule on an infant younger that at least 3 months, because they most often won't &lt;em&gt;fit&lt;/em&gt; the routine, regardless of what you do. They will likely cry, and likely wake up when you are sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies in utero are attuned to a mother's circadian rhythms, due to maternal hormones (cortisol and melatonin both pass through the placenta), maternal activity and other factors.&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt; However, this circadian rhythym matching the mother's is broken at birth, leading to a sleep cycle that is independent of daylight or lack thereof (to the frustration of countless new parents). It takes months for the infant to develop a melatonin- and cortisol-based circadian rhythm. Babies do this at different rates, which is why there is no single expected pattern of sleep for infants.&lt;sup&gt;[2]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[1] Development of fetal and neonatal sleep and circadian rhythms Mirmiran M, Maas YG, Ariagno RL, Sleep Med Rev. 2003 Aug;7(4):321-34.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;[2] Sleep in brain development Peirano P, Algarin, C R., Sleep Med Rev. 2003 Aug;7(4):321-34.&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T10:39:33.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16270" CreationDate="2014-10-22T16:57:50.593" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have to be precise when talking with a doctor about a bedtime routine.  It sounds like you mostly mean the list of activities you do at bedtime, but usually when people say &quot;bedtime routine&quot; they implicitly include enforcing a specific &lt;em&gt;time&lt;/em&gt; to go to bed.  The former is recommended from the start, because babies really crave consistency.  The latter needs to be eased into after a few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies are actually able to respond to a schedule practically from birth, but not in the way most people try.  Our eldest child was born 3 months premature, and spent those 3 months in the hospital.  Her feeding schedule was on a strict schedule from the beginning, mostly because of the logistical requirements with the nurses.  To our surprise, she adapted to the schedule within two or three weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the important difference is that the schedule was set to feed her just &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; she got hungry enough to cry about it.  This enabled her to feel confident her needs were being met.  Most parents try to push their baby's schedule the other way too soon, which doesn't work out well for anyone.  Once you have the schedule working according to the baby's needs, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; you can gradually adjust it to better fit the parents' needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T16:57:50.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16275" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-22T16:59:00.423" Score="4" ViewCount="7941" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in a rented apartment in HongKong and work 6 nights.&#xA;The only time i get during week days is after 10 AM, that too if the weather permits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How often shall I take my child out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it that the kids who stay indoor too much become introverts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11142" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T19:54:12.450" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T19:54:12.450" Title="How often should I take my 18 month child out of home" Tags="|daily-routine|outdoor|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16276" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16280" CreationDate="2014-10-22T17:04:49.520" Score="1" ViewCount="3736" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 yo step daughter loves troubling us. I initially thought taking her side and spending time with her may improve the situation. But I guess, I was wrong . &#xA;She loves breaking rules. She talks very rudely with us and also Will walk on the street without covering her face (niqab) , would chat with boys in the night (considered a taboo here).&#xA;She even purposely left her sanitary pad with blood purposely on her bed and I had to clean it. I was trying to forgive her thinking, its just &quot;teen behaviour&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But today she crossed all limits.&#xA;I was feeding formula to my 11 month baby and my step daughter was sitting next to me chatting on her phone. Suddenly baby gagged and spit some drops from mouth which landed on step daughter's face.&#xA;She got angry and went to the bathroom and came out with a mug of cold water and splashed it on my poor tiny baby's face. The baby got very scared. My poorchild  is also feeling ill. I took her to hospital and HV said she has cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I came home and firmly told my step daughter what she did was wrong.  To which she replied &quot; I dont care&quot;.&#xA;I said, &quot;Baby could have choked&quot;&#xA;And she was like &quot; Good. Its high time that dumb bub dies&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't stop crying&#xA;Any suggestions on how to make my step daughter understand.&#xA;She is very self centred and malicious. Also she loves blaming others. Can she be have Narcissism disorder ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;More Information:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Just wanted to answer few questions... My step daughter's mother is my cousin. It was my cousin who left her husband and NOT vice versa, so I dont think there is any reason for the step daughter to feel any resentment towards me or my husband ( her father).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her relationship with her mother is lovely but she doesn't think of me as her mother or even step mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T08:25:49.793" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T17:08:29.227" Title="How to deal with my teenager step daughter's rebellious behavior?" Tags="|infant|discipline|twins|step-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16275" CreationDate="2014-10-22T17:55:19.217" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is any connection to indoors/outdoors and introvert/extrovert. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, a 18 month old is really developing very fast, and should be developing social, motor and language skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it is not clear from your question if your child is cared for in a nursery/daycare or if he/she is at home with you while you work? Do you mean going 'out' to playdates, or outside for walks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stimulation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child stays inside in the same place all the time, I would worry about stimulation. Does he/she see enough new things? Does she get to experience different things, and hear a lot of words? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you kids is &lt;em&gt;indoors&lt;/em&gt; all day, but have plenty of social interaction, I would worry some about stimulation too - seeing cars, clouds, dogs, people on bikes or what else offers a lot of opportunity of language building and general discovery about the world&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Social interactions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, being with other kids helps with social skills - at 18 months they should have begun learning not to pull on other kids hair (lots of babies are hair pullers), they might need interaction to learn not to push/bite. They can also begin learning to share, though true sharing comes later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't need to be all the time, plenty of parents have their kids at home, but if you don't see anyone else in his/her age group I would think a playdate a week would be great.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Gross motor skills&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going back to being indoors all day, I would mostly about physical development - gross motor skills. Does he/she get to walk and run and climb on things? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Climbing, beginning running should be going on. Going out doors helps with gross motor skills, but also just physical activity in general. &#xA;If the child does not move a lot, he might not be developing the muscle tone he/she needs to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T17:55:19.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16275" CreationDate="2014-10-22T19:40:02.603" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think a specific amount is really definable, in particular because each child is different.  However, the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) endorses &lt;a href=&quot;http://cfoc.nrckids.org/StandardView/3.1.3.1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&amp;quot;Caring for our Children&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt;, a set of national standards for childcare environments (ie, daycares).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their recommendation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outdoor play:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants (birth to twelve months of age) should be taken&#xA;outside two to three times per day, as tolerated. There is no&#xA;recommended duration of infants’ outdoor play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers (twelve months&#xA;to three years) and preschoolers (three to six years) should be&#xA;allowed sixty to ninety total minutes of outdoor play. These outdoor&#xA;times can be curtailed somewhat during adverse weather conditions in&#xA;which children may still play safely outdoors for shorter periods, but&#xA;should increase the time of indoor activity, so the total amount of&#xA;exercise should remain the same;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That sounds about right to me as a minimum; my kids need around an hour to two hours to be happy.  But really you should construct your outside time around various external and internal factors, including:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your schedule.  If you can't do more than 30 minutes, then do 30 minutes.  More is better, but you obviously have to earn a living and feed your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child's preferences.  Some children (like mine) are happier with more outside time almost indefinitely; so we try to do an hour every single day, and weekends significantly more (4-6 hours).  Make sure they get some, but if they really like it get more.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The weather.  Your child may benefit more from indoor play when it's very cold or otherwise inclement, even in terms of social or gross motor skills.  We have a couple of play areas we can go to in the winter (we live in the upper midwest US, so very cold winters, lots of snow) that are very good for their development and let them play more effectively than they could outdoors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-10-22T21:36:27.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16276" CreationDate="2014-10-22T19:43:07.617" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a rebellious 14 year old living in your house, and she is testing her limits everywhere. Several things come into my mind as I write this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is she living with you? Where is her mother? Is she living with you against her will? How is her relationship with her father? Why were her parents divorced? Where does she get money to buy a new phone when hers is confiscated?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While what she did was very disrespectful, unkind and totally uncalled for, a cup of water on a 11 month baby's head or face, even if cold, will not cause the baby any significant harm. It will not choke the baby, or make him sick. She doesn't deserve to be &quot;slugged&quot; for it. How is her being slapped sending her a different message than the one she sent by throwing cold water on the baby's face?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are not going to solve all these problems in a short time, especially if she's only staying for a month. It sounds like she has a lot of resentment towards her father, which would be very understandable if he left her mother. We don't have all the details. You have most of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if you have family therapists there. If you do, it might be a good idea for all of you to talk with one to get the issues out into the open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't, then befriend and talk with older women in your culture who seem to have raised their children to be truly good people, and hear what they have to say. Maybe they can give you some insight into discipline that was both effective and loving. In the meantime, if she is soon to leave, love her as best as you can in this situation, for she did not create it. If her father left her mother for you, accept that she will not love you immediately. But there are standards she should obey, and discipline she should endure for bad behavior that she can't skirt with money. This episode has already been &lt;em&gt;paid for&lt;/em&gt; by the slap she received. Forgive her and move on from it. I doubt it will become a habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does, however, show that her responses are not mature, so I would not leave her alone in the presence of the children for more than very short periods until she's gained trust back from all involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edited to incorporate new information&lt;/em&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the behavior you're seeing (talking to boys, not covering her face) are behaviors she picked up in the US. It is hard to go from a place of some freedom to a place of more restrictions when one is that age. She is unfortunately not mature enough to appreciate all that you do for her and the extra work of having her in your house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell you what the right thing to do is. I can tell you what I would do, however. She has been through a lot. If you want to maintain a relationship with her, I would try to keep the peace. I would be as kind and loving as I could be for the rest of her stay. You only have two weeks to go. Before she leaves, maybe you can have a talk with her about the things you enjoyed with her, and also be honest about things that disappointed you, especially her attitude towards your (completely innocent) babies. If you believe it, express how you will enjoy seeing her grow into a lovely young woman. If it's true, tell her you love her when she is leaving (or before as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before she comes back, make sure you and your husband write to her with a set of expectations you have for her. If she cannot possibly follow those behaviors, then don't feel that you need to allow her to visit you. If you have little say in the matter, perhaps your husband can hire someone to help you with the twins and the extra work when she returns. If she continues to harbor ill-will towards your babies, maybe she can stay with her grandmother and visit her father and you (with or without your children).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm hoping that with your love and acceptance, and with time, she will mature and appreciate what a wonderful step-mother she has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-10-23T07:11:25.617" LastActivityDate="2014-10-23T07:11:25.617" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16276" CreationDate="2014-10-23T15:38:53.333" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to anongoodnurse's (great!) answer, I would like to add some advice that may help IF it works within your family and culture, and attempt an outside analysis, because I hope that will help a bit in any talk with your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First: I did read through your other questions as well, but I am unsure if she has her own room where she can close her door (the closed door can make a HUGE difference, especially for a teen)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If yes: can you try to establish 3 &quot;zones&quot; for rules?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In her own room, she has the lowest possible set of rules. I am from an admittedly totally different culture, so how few rules you can set will need to be your own decision. I would certainly go with &quot;Keep the room clean, and it is all yours&quot; as a minimum requirement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside her room, but within your household, the rules are stricter. Again, this will need to be according to your culture, and family situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside, of course, she will need to respect the local customs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all behave differently in different environments, but very seldom consciously think about it. In her case, she may just need a reminder to do just that: be consciously and fully aware of the differences between the &quot;zones&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will of course need your husband on board with this, so I hope he will help there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second part: I do suspect your daughter must be deeply confused by all this. From what I read, she is in the following situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her mother left her father, leaving (and escaping) the culture she was born in, to now live in the USA. Seeing just the cultural differences, to a teenager, that could just as well be another planet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shortly after that, her father got married again, to her mother's cousin. However deeply this was explained to her, wrapping even an adult-head around this can be hard, let alone a child or a teenagers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, she is back in the culture her mother escaped, together with her stepmother (who is also her cousin) and with two babies (who are her half-siblings, AND her cousins). As she has been exposed and living with American family structures, this must be hard to see through for her. And depending on how much or little she consciously thought about this, she may not even be fully aware WHY the situation feels confusing. Also, if I misread anything about the explanation, please correct me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get to talk to her, try to help her sort through all that. I know trying to do that kind of analysis always helped me, so perhaps it will help you and your daughter, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-10-23T18:24:28.790" LastActivityDate="2014-10-23T18:24:28.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16283" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-23T16:25:01.587" Score="3" ViewCount="535" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's quite a recent thing. Sometimes we have done something that we know he will like and because he's in this mode of moaning/crying/wailing we can't communicate to him at all and explain what's going on. We have tried, but because his focus is on making noise, he doesn't hear it. For example, the dialogue goes:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;It's time to get dressed for school now&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;No.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;We'll help you get dressed, but it is time or you'll be late&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;No. I don't want to get dressed!&quot; at this point this is repeated for many minutes. Any further negotiations, incentives, consequences; communication of any type is totally blocked because he's just saying the same thing over and over. &#xA;What should we do to resolve the situation? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2014-11-17T17:07:40.327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-17T17:07:40.327" Title="When my 4 yo has to do something he doesn't want to, he completely blocks communication with moans/cries/wails. How can I get him to respond?" Tags="|discipline|communication|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16283" CreationDate="2014-10-23T19:56:00.027" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three year old does this sometimes, and it can be frustrating, especially when it's an issue of being late where you care and he doesn't (like going to preschool on time, say). Most of the issues can be traced to him wanting a sense of control, so our solutions focus around that when we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we typically do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give meaningful choices.  He may not like getting dressed because he doesn't have enough control over the situation.  Let him pick his clothes out and put them on himself if he's not already - as long as he doesn't dawdle too much.  Let him sometimes pick things that don't totally make sense - nobody cares if a 4 year old goes to preschool in PJs once in a while, or wears shirts inside out, or wears his older brother's shirt, or whatever.  The choices give him a sense of control that he's lacking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set time limits.  Rather than &quot;Get dressed or you'll be late&quot;, set a timer for 5 minutes.  Tell him he has 5 minutes to get dressed, or however long is a reasonable length of time, or you will pick his clothes and dress him.  Do this from the beginning if you know it may be a problem.  If you've given him choices, make it clear when those get taken away (after the timer goes off), and always follow through.  This gives him a limit on his control, but do let him have full control within that time frame - maybe a reminder or two, but mostly leave him alone until the timer goes off.  I usually give 2 minute warning and 1 minute warning but otherwise say nothing.  As Ida points out in comments, &lt;strong&gt;go away&lt;/strong&gt; during this time, don't hover.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Redirect.  One thing we've noticed is that he has a harder time when he's tired in the morning.  On those days, we suggest a few things that will 'reset' him.  For example, we have a shower with a hose attachment.  He likes showering with it, so we ask him if he wants to have a shower, which he often does.  After that getting dressed is a natural thing - and something he wants to do since he's cold.  Again, gives him some control but doesn't completely destroy your routine, and helps him regain control over his own emotions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plan.  Plan for this to happen.  If you need to be out the door at 8, don't start getting dressed at 7:45.  Start getting dressed at 7.  If that's not early enough, 6:30.  Whatever works.  This might be earlier than you want, but it won't be the first or the last time you lose a little sleep over your kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be consistent.  Whatever of the above you do, do it &lt;em&gt;every day&lt;/em&gt;, and do it &lt;em&gt;the same as your co-parent&lt;/em&gt; if applicable.  Little differences are fine - and sometimes lead to useful redirection options, like &quot;Mommy puts on my shirt this way&quot;, which might be annoying but does lead to shirts being on - but the big things, the time limits and consistent boundaries, matter a lot and should be as consistent as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some find it useful to also give the consequence of going to the car naked, if he/she refuses to get dressed; for some kids this might work, for some like mine it usually doesn't work as a consequence (though it does work as a last ditch way to get him dressed, as we can dress him in the car ourselves with less resistance).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-10-23T21:07:39.470" LastActivityDate="2014-10-23T21:07:39.470" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16283" CreationDate="2014-10-23T19:56:14.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;negotiations, incentives, consequences, communication&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't always negotiate/communicate with a 4 year old. &lt;em&gt;Especially&lt;/em&gt; when emotions are high.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You either need to increase the incentive or increase the consequence. &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; would increase the consequence--this means increasing the &quot;dislike factor&quot; of the consequence (whether you choose emotional, physical, social, etc...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing this consistently would solidify in your 4-year-old's mind that you are the parent and you are the final authority. If he continues to disobey then the consequences must continue to be administered until you &quot;win.&quot; It's important for children younger than 5 to learn that their parents are the oak tree and cannot be won over with tears and an obstinate attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastActivityDate="2014-10-23T19:56:14.163" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16287" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-24T02:25:40.887" Score="6" ViewCount="1193" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was wondering if anyone has an idea how to cover the corners of a base heater. My granddaughter has just started walking and she keeps falling down. I am so worried she is going to hit her head or eye on the corners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11245" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-10-24T09:54:56.637" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T19:48:38.243" Title="How to cover base heaters corners" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16287" CreationDate="2014-10-24T06:07:26.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a very good question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you might be able to find some product you can use year-round in many of the larger baby stores, like &lt;em&gt;Babies-R-Us&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the months that the heaters are &lt;em&gt;not working&lt;/em&gt;, there are corner cushions you can buy and self stick to corners. This is a picture of &lt;em&gt;Prince Lionheart Cushiony Corner Guards&lt;/em&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Y2dL2.png&quot; alt=&quot;wedge shaped cushion made to fit three sides of a corner&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look at them, I think they would be fairly easy to make out of thin foam padding or heavy cotton batting (which you can buy in a large fabric store). The problem comes when winter comes. Maybe someone else will have a better idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-24T06:07:26.387" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16289" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-24T12:10:18.023" Score="2" ViewCount="560" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 year old nephew is getting everyone worried with his behavior. He does not perform well at school, he is not respectful, and he often talks back to people who try to correct him. His mother is always crying about this because she has tried hard to reason with him to the extent of beating him thinking things will change all to no avail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He often lies about his homework. Most often he says he has not been given homework and you later realize it is a lie. His school performance is terrible. Sometimes he does well in some subjects, but at times he fails terribly in these same subjects. Sometimes according to his teachers he does not even finish on going class test and he leaves the examination room to the playing ground; several times he has to be called back to finish his test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He loves playing a lot, so several times we tried restricting him from watching TV and playing. This has not brought any substantial change. He actually is an intelligent boy and is always smart in trying to cover up things. These behaviors (not performing well at school, disrespecting his elders, and being lazy) is damaging his parents' relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be very grateful if you could help me find a solution to this. Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11248" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-10-24T13:57:57.380" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T10:11:36.197" Title="how can I train my 10years old nephew to be responsible" Tags="|discipline|education|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-10-24T16:02:19.560" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't help a person who is not ready to be helped. First of all, your mom needs to understand that how much ever she loves him, still she should not endure his abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your mom. Dont force your opinion.on her and try to understand why she doesn't want to leave him when she is being abused.&#xA;Try to make her understand what if your partner beats u, would she be okay with it or will ask u to escape an abusive relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell her it hurts you, to see her in pain and this is not the life u want her to lead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-24T16:02:19.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16289" CreationDate="2014-10-24T16:17:13.883" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some things are not very clear from your post. It is very vague to be able to give the correct advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are naughty and beating them will not help them to rectify their mistakes. Infact , they may turn even more stubborn and aggressive.&#xA;Its good that the child is interested in sports and  wants to play. Playing in fresh air is a good thing and we should not try to restrict the child from playing.&#xA;I understand playing, when the child should be writing his tests or studying, might make his mother and teachers lose patience.... So wanted to advice you that does the child get special play time? Keep 3 hours everyday for him to play and 1 or 2 hours to study or do homework after he comes back from school. Keep a time table which he has to follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also wanted to ask whether the parents have met school counsellors or therapists? May be your nephew could be suffering from learning disorder. Its easy for a child to say he is naughty and doesn't want to study rather than confessing he CAN'T .&#xA;Just imagine the emotional turmoil in a child, when kids younger than him can study or write better than him . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, May be your nephew is just plain naughty and children of that age are naughty. May be he is enjoying all the negative attention that he gets due to his behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-24T16:17:13.883" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16289" CreationDate="2014-10-24T16:27:00.063" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of things going on that may or may not be related. However, many of the symptoms you describe are familiar to me -- my son behaves in the same way very frequently. In our case, he has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to be clear that I'm not a medical professional, and you've only provided a snapshot of your nephew's life. &lt;strong&gt;Don't consider my advice a diagnosis&lt;/strong&gt;, because it could be wrong or there could be other problems... but it may give you a starting point to work with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The US National Institute of Mental Health &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/index.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;describes the symptoms of ADHD on its website&lt;/a&gt;. (I'm including below only the ones that are strongly related to behaviors that you mentioned.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who have symptoms of inattention may:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless they are doing something enjoyable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete&#xA;  tasks or activities&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who have symptoms of hyperactivity may:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Have trouble sitting still during dinner, school, and story time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who have symptoms of impulsivity may:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And while lying about whether he has homework may sound like it's not on the list, I'd wager that he simply finds it easier to make up stories than to do the assignment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially, he finds it very difficult to pay attention and control his behavior. This can be just as frustrating for a child to deal with -- because he &lt;em&gt;would like to&lt;/em&gt; behave but gets so easily distracted that he can't &lt;em&gt;remember&lt;/em&gt; to behave -- as it is for parents and teachers who are continually reminding, punishing, and redirecting! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The NIMH also includes &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/index.shtml#part7&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tips to Help Kids Stay Organized and Follow Directions&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Schedule.&lt;/strong&gt; Keep the same routine every day, from wake-up time to bedtime. Include time for homework, outdoor play, and indoor&#xA;  activities. Keep the schedule on the refrigerator or on a bulletin&#xA;  board in the kitchen. Write changes on the schedule as far in advance&#xA;  as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Organize everyday items.&lt;/strong&gt; Have a place for everything, and keep everything in its place. This includes clothing, backpacks, and toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use homework and notebook organizers.&lt;/strong&gt; Use organizers for school material and supplies. Stress to your child the importance of writing&#xA;  down assignments and bringing home the necessary books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be clear and consistent.&lt;/strong&gt; Children with ADHD need consistent rules they can understand and follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give praise or rewards when rules are followed.&lt;/strong&gt; Children with ADHD often receive and expect criticism. Look for good behavior, and praise&#xA;  it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are strategies which could be useful whether or not your nephew has ADHD or a similar attention problem. Organization, structure, and clear rules are helpful ideas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specific to the homework problem, I suggest asking the teacher to send home a note if there is no assignment -- that way your nephew has to show what he brought home every day and it is either homework (which he then must do) or a signed note saying he has none (in which case he's free to play). Without a way to check that he's lying, he'll continue to do it. He gets to play instead of doing a dull assignment, and he isn't thinking about the consequences of not turning in the homework, or of failing school, or anything else -- just about playing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-24T16:27:00.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16283" CreationDate="2014-10-24T17:40:22.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the simple answer is that &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;this is just the age&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; at which children start to &lt;em&gt;develop their own volition&lt;/em&gt;, but have &lt;em&gt;yet to develop ways to deal with the frustration&lt;/em&gt; coming from things not going the way they wanted them to. With some children this is a very unfortunate time for parents to go through, but it is also &lt;em&gt;a very important phase&lt;/em&gt; for all children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By now your son has developed a pretty good model of the world, can reason about how things work, and can use this to speculate about different possibilities for situations to develop. The achieved ability to envision a possible outcome of certain situations naturally comes with the wish for it to be a desirable outcome as well. However, children of that age still mostly live in the moment and, compared to adults, their thinking ahead is rather limited. The ability to put frustration into perspective, to remember that tomorrow will be another day to experience wonderful things, and to realize that everyone's freedom to do as they please ends where it threatens the freedom of the others, is still severely lacking. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;He is only just developing it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And he needs your help now in order to develop ways to deal with these frustrations that will later make him a valuable member of the society he lives in. That's why this is such an important phase of every child (although not each child shows the same discrepancy between these two abilities). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your son to learn to not to react violently when things don't go as he wants, then &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;he will have to find out&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; that throwing a fit won't help him to get what he wants (or even attention!), while being sad without being violent might at least gain some comforting words and an understanding hug. He will have to learn that he cannot always get what he wants, that he must not bend his frustration upon other people or things, that it is not a problem if some of many potentially happy situations didn't turn out to be all that happy. Keep this in mind and hang in there, it does get better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until then:  Consequently &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;praise&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; him when he deals with frustration in ways you want him to, and &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;disregard&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; him for ways you do not want. (Do not pay attention – e.g., by scolding – to bad behavior; instead, simply ignore him.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Rewarding good behavior&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; (note that praise is an important reward for a child) has been found to yield better results than &lt;em&gt;punishing bad behavior&lt;/em&gt; (again note that scolding already is punishment). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;natural consequences&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; work way &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;better than parent-induced penalty&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. (Compare: &quot;I did warn you, when you didn't want to do &lt;em&gt;X&lt;/em&gt;, that then &lt;em&gt;Y&lt;/em&gt; might not be possible. I cannot change this, but I am sorry you are so disappointed about it. Shall I give you a hug?&quot; to &quot;You didn't do &lt;em&gt;X&lt;/em&gt;, therefore I disallow you to do &lt;em&gt;Y&lt;/em&gt;!&quot; Which one is more likely to prevent a 4 year old from throwing a fit?) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And always remember the parental mantra: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;It's just a phase. It will pass.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; You are the parent. It's your task to guide you all through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-10-27T15:46:15.027" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T15:46:15.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16294" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16295" CreationDate="2014-10-24T17:43:43.400" Score="9" ViewCount="23616" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm at a complete loss. My 4-year-old daughter is potty trained and all is well. But recently she keeps moaning and complaining she peed in her underwear but upon checking, she's completely dry. This is an ongoing thing that can last hours where she'll repeat the same thing every three minutes. We tell her to go to the bathroom and she'll pee or claim she doesn't need to. It's exhausting. I have no idea what's going on. I've had a lot of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_tract_infection&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;urinary tract infections&lt;/a&gt; and it doesn't seem to be the case for her, as she's not in pain or anything of the sort. She's been doing it at daycare as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just tried to put socks on her feet in case she's cold and made up a story telling her she won't feel like that if she wears socks. It's lasted 10 mins but who knows? I'd think if it was &lt;strong&gt;some&lt;/strong&gt; form of UTI I haven't experienced or diabetes, she wouldn't be dry...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions? Has this happened to any of you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11251" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-25T12:43:41.980" LastActivityDate="2021-09-27T08:53:29.427" Title="My 4-year-old keeps telling me she peed herself but she's dry?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|elimination|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16294" CreationDate="2014-10-24T17:56:36.857" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming this isn't a medical issue (and for that, talk to your pediatrician!), I would wonder if this is one of three things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A need for attention.  When you're wet, you get a lot of attention, right?  Not all good attention, but sometimes any attention is desirable.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A confusion of feelings.  She's not wet, but she &lt;em&gt;feels&lt;/em&gt; like she peed - like the muscles feel when they've released pee.  This is a learning process; it's common for kids to get confused with one feeling for another.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's warm, and sweated a little in her crotch area; that's not uncommon, and might be confusable for pee.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-24T17:56:36.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16294" CreationDate="2014-10-25T03:13:47.370" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you.need to check this up with a doctor.&#xA;Sometimes we may feel an urge to pee but only 2 or 3 drops come out, so she felt she peed whereas when u checked those drops must have dried or may be u were expecting a urine soaked panty so didn't realise that there were few drops . (Assuming this is not a medical reason)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another reason could be the attention, but I highly doubt it in.this case &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-25T03:13:47.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10471" CreationDate="2014-10-25T03:20:41.347" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you lock your bedroom door during the night if you are scared of what the kids will think. But I feel it’s better to be frank with children, as then they can share their problems with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="1920" LastEditDate="2014-10-30T16:52:05.270" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T16:52:05.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15008" CreationDate="2014-10-25T03:30:42.993" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even my step daughter is the same. She hates most of the food and eats only selected items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What my husband does to make her eat everything put on her plate :-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Warning: this may sound cruel&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 14 yo step daughter is a fussy eater. She loves pasta and chicken and hates bread, roti and vegetables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the lunch, we give her roti, vegetables and chicken. She would eat the chicken but leave the roti and vegetables. Then my husband devised a method for making her have balanced diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He would tell me to make her favourite pasta and chicken for dinner and she would get to eat it, only if she has completely finished her lunch. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, for first 5 days, while we ate her favourite dinner, she didn't get any and had to eat her leftover lunch during dinner.&#xA;After one week, she started eating her complete lunch and stopped wasting food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-25T03:30:42.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16299" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-25T10:30:44.853" Score="0" ViewCount="135" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 46 and my wife is 36. I met my wife when she was 28 and I was 38. I already had a 2-year-old child from a previous relationship at the time. When my wife hit 30, she was desperate for children, so we had a baby together and she is now 5 years old. 3 years ago, my wife and I went to court and won residency for my son, who was 7 at the time, due to his mother's inability to look after him. So we then had 2 children living in the same house. A year or so ago, we had another baby boy who is now 15 months old. So to sum up we have my 10-year-old boy, our 5-year-old daughter and our new 15-month-old boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife wants a 3rd child and I don't as we already have 3 and it is tearing us apart. My wife is desperate for a 3rd child of her own. She is not career-driven and loves being a mother. I do not want another child as we already have 3, We are not financially stable and I will be 50 in 4 years time. I am desperate for a vasectomy and she is desperate for a baby. What do we do as neither will budge? Help please!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11253" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-03T16:21:55.983" LastActivityDate="2018-09-03T16:21:55.983" Title="How to resolve the conflict when my wife wants another baby and I don't, at all?" Tags="|parents|communication|conflict|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-10-25T12:39:11.503" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14364" CreationDate="2014-10-25T19:53:42.853" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say don't worry about weed:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1957518&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Five-year follow-up of rural Jamaican children whose mothers used marijuana during pregnancy.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This research provides data on the development of 59 Jamaican children, from birth to age 5 years, whose mothers used marijuana during pregnancy. [..] The results show no significant differences in developmental testing outcomes between children of marijuana-using and non-using mothers except at 30 days of age when the babies of users had more favourable scores on two clusters of the Brazelton Scales: autonomic stability and reflexes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cigarette smoke is probably the worst thing that happened. But again you are probably in the &lt;em&gt;safe time&lt;/em&gt; when your child's system is little affected by the mother's. I can't provide a reference for that time, but soon there are coming opportunities when you can ask your gynaecologist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6985" LastEditorUserId="6985" LastEditDate="2014-10-25T20:37:22.370" LastActivityDate="2014-10-25T20:37:22.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16283" CreationDate="2014-10-26T05:17:32.620" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When he whines respond 'I will talk to you when you can talk nicely and not whine'. &#xA;When he cries let him know he is too old to cry because he doesn't want to do something.  You do not care to listen to it so he needs to go to his room until he is finished and ready to talk like the big boy he is.  then follow through!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly is to stop letting him control the situation and conversation. For the first example you gave there are several options. The one that worked for me was 'I am not asking you I am telling you.' (as in you don't get to say no because it is not optional). If that is not enough I moved on to &quot;I said it is time to get dressed. You can do this the easy way or the hard way but you are going to do it.' The first time they will say no again.  Without a word just begin to change their cloths for them. They will fight and struggle and complain. One time and one time only let them know this is the hard way, if they don't like it they are welcome to do it themselves, which is the easy way. He is trying to exert his independence and you dressing him takes that independence away. The only way for him to get it back is to get dressed himself. &#xA;I used this tactic with my son when he was two and wouldn't pick up his toys.  We ended up walking around the room picking them up one at a time with me walking behind him holding his hands and leading him to each toy, helping him pick it up, then walking it to the toy box. After three toys he finished on his own. It only took that one time for him to get the point, and that was at age two. After that I just had to say 'do you want to do it the easy way or the hard way'. And not just picking up toys. &#xA;Another option, in my opinion this is a bit harsher but I have heard from several parents that it works very well, is to tell him you are not going to argue.  Its time for school and he needs to get dressed. Then walk away and do not discuss it any more.  If he tries to engage you in conversation let him know you will talk to him when he is dressed for school. If he doesn't change he can go in his pajamas. One time of showing up in class in his pj is, from what I am told, enough to nip the problem. &#xA;Basically, just do not let him engage you in arguing and ignore any whining/crying or tantrums. And please, do not get into a lengthy discussion, explanation, bribery, or deal making.  You will only be setting yourself up for decades of the same.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11256" LastActivityDate="2014-10-26T05:17:32.620" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2014-10-26T05:26:07.447" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends. But honestly I can't leave my 12 month old twins to some teenager unsupervised.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I prefer leaving babies to a professional childminder, but this is my personal opinion.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you are comfortable and trust the teenager and are okay with leaving babies to a teen, then it's your personal choice and being a parent, you have got full right to decide what's best for your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-25T17:01:22.587" LastActivityDate="2018-03-25T17:01:22.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16305" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16309" CreationDate="2014-10-26T08:15:11.703" Score="37" ViewCount="13548" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since his birth I've done my best to make my son trust me completely as I see it the only way for him to let me make decisions on his behalf and tell him what's right and wrong. However he supervises me in everything!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he gives me his bottle to get him milk he follows me to the kitchen to make sure I am doing it. He tells me &quot;I go&quot; and wants me to take him downstairs he walks backwards to make sure I am coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't recall betraying his trust in any way, the only thing about my boy is that he is very independent. Any idea if such behavior reflects lack of trust or if I am worrying about something natural?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-03-23T12:56:34.307" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T12:56:34.307" Title="My 2-year-old son supervises me after asking me to do something for him, does this suggest lack of trust?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|development|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16306" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16308" CreationDate="2014-10-26T09:25:44.563" Score="0" ViewCount="1135" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guests were at home and I was decorating pudding for them. So, I gave my 12 month twin girls to my 14 year step daughter to take care just for 10 minutes in her room. I heard the babies crying continuously. After 5 minutes, I scooped my babies in my arm and thanked my step daughter for looking after them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, she confessed that Rose was screaming a lot, so she shook her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am shocked. Would something happen to my baby? She is very quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-10-27T12:05:18.760" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T12:05:18.760" Title="My step daughter shook my baby" Tags="|twins|step-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2014-10-28T13:00:31.530" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-26T09:28:42.480" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its not that he doesn't trust you. He may just be curious.&#xA;My 12 month twins always crawl and try to see what I am doing.&#xA;Young children and toddlers are wonderful creatures full of curiosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-26T09:28:42.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16306" CreationDate="2014-10-26T12:29:42.240" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is possible for &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/brain/shaken.html&quot;&gt;shaking a young child (up to five years old) to cause trauma&lt;/a&gt;. You should take Rose to a medical professional immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sincerely hope that Rose is fine and my heart goes out to you. I know that you've been trying hard with your step-daughter and I am saddened to hear that her behavior has gotten worse. Assaulting her sibling is completely inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-26T12:29:42.240" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-26T12:35:20.983" Score="82" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children learn how to do things by imitating, so much of this is simple curiosity. (&quot;How does the milk go in the bottle? Does it happen the same way every time? WOW.&quot;) But toddlers also start to realize they are independent and have some control over their world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't perceive this as a lack of trust, necessarily. Rather, he is checking that you fulfill his request. I imagine that there are times you refuse unreasonable requests (such as too many sweets or staying up late), and so he's trying to learn what you will and won't do for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: I'm also realizing (from other comments and from considering my toddler's behavior) that part of it is imitating &lt;em&gt;parenting&lt;/em&gt;. For example, if you tell him, &quot;Let's go into this room,&quot; do you look to see that he's following? He's decided that's an expected part of the process, and therefore watches you! Earlier this afternoon I was filling a sippy cup for my son, and he said &quot;Oh, &lt;em&gt;good job&lt;/em&gt;, mommy,&quot; (the same inflection I use towards him!) and patted me on the shoulder when I handed him the cup. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-10-27T01:20:43.553" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T01:20:43.553" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-26T17:59:09.917" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our almost two year old does this, and I've never thought of it as a matter of trust (maybe I should!). I just think that when he's learnt how to do something, he's just saying and checking the procedure out of verification and the joy of knowing it. If we deviate from the procedure, he gets upset because he doesn't understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I'm happy with him doing it for good reasons and think it's healthy, it takes a lot of getting used to and tongue-biting not criticising him, as it's kind of irritating, but doing so, I guess that's why we're called the adults, :-) . It's one of those situations where you have to remember that he's only a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9856" LastActivityDate="2014-10-26T17:59:09.917" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2014-10-26T19:16:10.467" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a Judo instructor and have been one for 45 years. My opinion is the only person who can really answer this question is the parent. Before enrolling your child in any Martial Arts class the parent should go to the school with their child and observe at least one class, preferably two classes as the curriculum may vary from night to night. You do not need to know anything about Martial Arts, you need to know your child. Ask yourself, is what I am seeing right for child right now. Use your gut instinct. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your child before enrolling, ask them do they prefer striking (Karate) or wrestling (Judo)? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do they want to compete or they interested in self defense?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are the questions that need answered first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young Children - under 12 - there are schools for Karate, Judo and Jujitsu (Brazilian) that regularly teach kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't disregard the possibility of western Boxing or Wrestling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hapkido, Krav Maga and arts that use weapons are best left for older students - 14 and older is the normal I have seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11260" LastActivityDate="2014-10-26T19:16:10.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-26T20:30:43.837" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both normal and sometimes rather annoying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Falls into the wide, wide category of things the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Baby-Book-Revised-Edition/dp/0316198269/&quot;&gt;Sears book&lt;/a&gt; calls &quot;normal but bothersome toddler behaviour&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's a bit older he'll be refusing to believe your explanations of things, that's a fun one too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-10-27T18:05:03.157" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T18:05:03.157" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-26T20:30:51.957" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would attribute his actions to &quot;structural tension&quot;. Structural tension is the reason we still watch a movie even when we know what's going to happen next. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our mind is a constant prediction-machine. We're continually predicting what's going to happen next. This happens even when we're sleeping. When there is a constant sound in the background while we're sleeping, sudden silence is what is going to wake us up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I saw the reaction video of a guy playing a first-person-shooter game once, as part of a game design discussion. He came into a virtual room and shot everything dead. Then he saw a large virtual aquarium. He shot one bullet hole at the aquarium around its mid-level. Then water starting pouring out of the aquarium at that bullet hole. The guy playing waited, waited, waited, patiently looking at the aquarium. Then when the water stopped flowing when the water finally reached the level of the bullet hole, the guy playing had the biggest smile on his face. His prediction had become true! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And while virtual reality doesn't always mimic our actual reality, and our predictions don't always come true in a virtual world, so that could explain the player's curiosity and positive reaction. But I think a similar thing could be said for young kids. It's a new world to them. Their verbal skills are getting better every day. And perhaps, when making a verbal request they can see their parent's actions as an extension of their own, and derive personal pleasure when the action is finally completed, the prediction was correct, and the structural tension is gone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9092" LastActivityDate="2014-10-26T20:30:51.957" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-26T21:44:36.273" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're reading way too much into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 2. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He might be doing it because he likes to be with his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He might be doing it because he's eager to continue with whatever he was waiting for you to do something for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He might just be habitually following people who are doing something for him because he's received positive reinforcement when doing that before, i.e. such as praise or adoration, or just a simple level of comradery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't be concerned. I would be more happy that my son likes to take such initiative in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11262" LastActivityDate="2014-10-26T21:44:36.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15040" CreationDate="2014-10-26T22:18:37.667" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what you describe about the baby's feeding patterns, it sounds like the baby is not actually feeding for the whole time he is latched on. At the start, it can be difficult to tell the difference between nutritive sucking and comfort sucking. You can try feeding the baby in a quiet place and see if you can hear him swallowing. For much of the time that you consider you are feeding him, you may find that he is just sleeping whilst sucking for comfort. When my baby was small, I rarely found that he would unlatch seemingly happy, full and satisfied as I had read should happen. The reason why the baby starts rooting after waking up could be because he wants to suck to help him go back to sleep, not because he is hungry. You could try using a pacifier if the baby takes to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the sleeping, it can be difficult to get babies to sleep on their own. There are already a lot of good suggestions in these answers but a couple more things that I found were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the baby associates the mum with milk and it can be difficult for her to persuade the baby to sleep without feeding. You can try having your partner put the baby to sleep after you have fed him. This can often be done by rocking, shushing and patting. That can also give you a break from feeling like you have to deal with everything and stressing about it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can try feeding lying down until the baby is asleep, unlatching him gently and carefully moving away. You may need to lay next to him for a while until he seems settled before moving.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My baby didn't like being swaddled but we found a baby sleeping bag very good. You can move the baby in the sleeping bag into his bassinet  when it seems he is sound asleep and you don't need to worry about waking him as you arrange the blankets.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to many baby sleep experts (eg Ferber, Pantley), you can do this type of thing for about the first three months and then you have to start worrying about sleep associations i.e. if you help your baby to sleep in some way like feeding or rocking, then you will need to do the same each time he wakes at night . I'm not sure I totally believe this, or at least I think it's more complicated than that but it's something to be aware of and make up your own mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing to know it's that things change very quickly and you have to pay attention to your baby to understand when he wants to do things differently. As soon as you get used to him getting sleepy after a certain amount of time for example, you will suddenly find he can stay awake longer. This can affect how long he will sleep for, especially for daytime naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2014-10-26T22:18:37.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12030" CreationDate="2014-10-27T04:31:25.467" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 4 children and am a Registered Nurse. After seeing my friends use the BLW fad I am really concerned. With this method &quot;Gagging and Choking&quot; are considered normal and one which the child will &quot;get better at&quot; after around 10 months. My friends have been told by the BLW activists that this is very normal and that gagging, and choking is managed well by a baby. Gagging and choking are NOT OK, it indicates that the baby is having difficulty with what they are eating and are trying to clear their airway from whatever it is causing them to gag and choke. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The new mothers that I know are reluctant to use the traditional method of weaning onto solids because of the peer pressure they experience from other mothers who are sold on the BLW process, who think that gagging and choking often is OK. This new fad reminds me of the time many, many years ago, where the trend was to put a baby on their tummy to sleep. That fad lasted for many years and resulted in many baby deaths. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is evident that BLW will increase the risk of aspiration pneumonia, choking and death. I would like to see a thorough assessment of this BLW FAD by a group of Independent Speech Pathologists. I am sure that the verdict will be &quot;too high a risk&quot; to do. Babies even at 6 months who are introduced to foods in the form recommended by the BLW activists have a very high risk of choking because they are not developmentally capable of eating chunks of food safely. I don't know about your experience but it is very difficult sometimes to dislodge a piece of food out of a baby's airway and I hope that you never have to experience this. With a sensible approach to introducing solids you minimize the risk of choking and baby can have a &quot;pleasant&quot; introduction to solids. I can't imagine that it is pleasant to gag and choke on food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The BLW craze is gaining momentum. My advice is to see a Speech Pathologist who are specialists in swallowing before you try BLW.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11269" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-10-27T13:52:56.113" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T13:52:56.113" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-27T04:39:37.583" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the moment a child begins to see beyond an arm's length, &quot;stay curious&quot; is their watchword. Parents are the first-born people to learn from, so they follow your example at all times. My toddler 16months old follows me to the toilet, sees me on the seat and smiles all the time. This happens at every toilet trip. Once, when I was to bath and I closed the bathroom door and tried to bath without him, he cried so much and did all he could to get in, even went as far as trying to stick his head under the door. That was the last time I locked my bathroom door. Scary stuff!&#xA;Toddler = curiosity, imitation and truck loads of  pure love in one tiny body. So, not to worry, just be a great parent, because it is what they see you do that they do and those things they learn from you form their basic habits and belief system for the rest of their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11270" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T04:39:37.583" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16319" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16329" CreationDate="2014-10-27T13:32:41.147" Score="12" ViewCount="1094" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eldest son and I have had a difficult relationship for some time. I have changed a great deal in terms of how I parent him, and I know I was far too strict towards him from years ago. He is currently six years old, and he can be angry. I know I've not parented him helpfully certainly in his early years, but I'm determined to make a change properly. I am desperate to have a proper relationship with him. I've tried getting into what he's into, which has helped, but I know that there's some stuff he is rightly angry about that I've done in terms of disciplining etc (e.g. I used to smack, but haven't for a long time. I still shout occasionally (which I know is not OK), but used to do that as a matter of course). My other two don't have the same anger and hurt because I changed hugely between him and the rest. Does anyone have any references or life experience to share for a roadmap to change the future? Sometimes he looks like he's scared of me and I really want to make that better -- I can't think of any other way to express it apart from a child's sentence. Sorry has been said but doesn't cut it and I know there's no 24-hour process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to clarify, this isn't about the symptoms exhibited by my son, it's about how to make the future work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2014-10-27T18:00:47.800" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T12:07:00.637" Title="How can you turn back the clock?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15040" CreationDate="2014-10-27T14:06:17.653" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you have asked a while ago: Hope you are better now!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But as maybe more parents will check your question and the answers, I'd like to add my five cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ida has given an excellent list of hints, most likely your answer can be found there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practical advice: when your baby wakes up when you put her down, you might be triggering the Moro reflex: try putting her down sideways, then turn her to her back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But: There are babies who simply can't cope on their own. My firstborn slept during his first year almost only with body contact. And no, we dind't &quot;teach&quot; him this, this started from day one at the hospital. Over time, we tried most approaches, but nothing worked. We worked closely with our pediatrician, too. His advice: Your son needs you. Deal with it. It will pass. And it did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer: We have a gifted child. His brain can't filter the impressions during the day properly, also, his brain works like a racing car -&gt; this keeps him awake, even today. And he's eight now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summary: You might be able to make a baby sleep on his own, but there are cases where you simply can't. But whichever way it turns out: It's soooo worth it. Enjoy your child!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T14:06:17.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10458" CreationDate="2014-10-27T18:12:20.973" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_object&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Comfort objects&lt;/a&gt; are completely normal for small children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Does that mean he fears something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is he feeling insecure or something?&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=~child+%22transitional++objects%22&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=~child+%22transitional++objects%22&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, probably - but that's ok. If he had no fears - of anything at all - then that would be distinctly abnormal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Growing up in the big world is scary for children, and security blankets, known in child development jargon as &quot;transitional objects,&quot; help them transition from the familiar to the unfamiliar with more ease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-security-blanket&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-security-blanket&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a well-studied field: &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=~child+%22transitional++objects%22&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=~child+%22transitional++objects%22&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/jNe2k.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Linus (Peanuts) - comfort blanket&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T18:12:20.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16319" CreationDate="2014-10-27T19:41:58.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing you really &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do, aside from just treating him right going forward.  He's still very young, and kids are more resilient than most adults give them credit for.  However, you shouldn't expect to be able to undo something in less time than it took to do it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, parents tend to overestimate the influence they have on their children.  Kids' personalities influence parenting style just as much as the other way around.  rbp's answer was somewhat inartful, but the point is valid.  Don't put it all on yourself.  Even genetically identical kids with the same parenting at the same time can turn out very differently.  Don't dismiss his personality as being entirely of your own making.  If you act like his anger is all your fault, you won't be giving him the necessary tools to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T19:41:58.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16325" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-27T20:19:05.090" Score="9" ViewCount="793" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are working to try to help our 9 month old baby sleep better. I have read a lot of information online as well as baby sleep books such as Weissbluth, Ferber, Pantley. We are not interested in leaving our baby to cry at this stage but prefer to try more gentle methods and we understand this can take longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my question is, most of the sleep experts talk about sleep associations i.e. that the way the baby goes to sleep to start with is the way he will need to go back to sleep when he wakes at night. I am not convinced. A few examples why not:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;although I am breastfeeding, we have had some success with separating the feeding from baby going to sleep (e.g. as proposed in &quot;the no cry sleep solution&quot;). However, this doesn't mean he doesn't look for milk when he wakes at night. I think most sources agree that a 9 month old shouldn't need to feed at night so why is he still looking for milk? He eats reasonably well in the day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I know many people are not keen on the idea of co-sleeping but in the case that I am desperate for sleep and don't have the energy to try something else, if my baby can go to sleep with a cuddle and not be picked up, why does he not go back to sleep with a cuddle if I am sleeping next to him even when he has been recently fed?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;often during daytime naps, my baby wakes up after the first sleep cycle, crying and seemingly not ready to finish his nap. However whether this happens or not doesn't seem to relate to how he went to sleep.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sometimes when our baby wakes at night, he can be settled easily with a little patting in his cot. Other times he cries a lot and needs to be picked up. This happens for different wakings in the same night or wakings at a similar stage of different nights and seems independent of how he went to sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So are sleep associations as big a deal as everyone seems to say they are? Is there actual evidence for this or is it just something convenient that people have made up to try to explain the mysterious world of baby sleep? Does anyone know of any studies on baby sleep associations? How can we tell if sleep associations are causing our sleep difficulties or if it's something else? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-04T13:03:26.580" LastActivityDate="2018-10-04T13:03:26.580" Title="Baby sleep associations - how important are they?" Tags="|infant|sleep|research|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16325" CreationDate="2014-10-27T20:39:09.737" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, there isn't a definitive answer, because if there were someone would've made a mint off of selling it.  Instead, a hundred different people sell different solutions, largely because each situation is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of what you list above is him expressing his opinion.  Why does he not sleep as easily next to you, even recently fed?  Because nursing gives him positive feelings/endorphins.  So does spending time with you; if you're right there perhaps he's just interested in seeing if you'll get up and play with him.  Many babies even at 9 months would happily do 4-6 hours sleep in two to three batches rather than 9-10 hours in one plus a shorter nap.  Many adults would do the same, if they could; I had a friend who often slept in two 4 or so hour sections with a few hours awake in between - like sleep 8p-12a and 3a-7a.  Who knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of it is also getting him used to what happens.  It can be very hard to break him of the habit of nursing in middle of the night feedings - again, he likes it, even if he doesn't need it.  You can wean him off by just trying not to do it more and more - for us it was a hard week or so for each of our sons, not getting a ton of sleep as we tried to get them back down.  It helped for me to do more of those than my wife, as they weren't expecting me to feed them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, all of what you post in the question is exactly what I considered normal for us.  We also did no-cry, and largely off the seat of our pants; we tried some sleep association stuff, but not really in a consistent way.  Neither of our kids really has a blanky or a teddy or anything (sporadically, but not consistently).  The one thing we were careful to do was to break the nursing to sleep connection, and that specifically did help - with both boys, when we started to ensure they were put down at least half the time not fully asleep from nursing, it improved their sleep on nights with no nursing (like when I gave my wife a night off to go see a movie or something and put the kids to bed).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see any research that's easily found, but Donald Cohen looks like he might have some (of the Yale Guide to Understanding your Child); hopefully one of our more research-oriented folks can find it.  I would say that it's not going to be straightforward telling what's an issue due to sleep associations (or any other specific issue), because kids are just so different that some things will matter more and less than others with each kid.  But none of what you posted above seems unusual to me, or particularly problematic.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T20:39:09.737" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16325" CreationDate="2014-10-27T20:46:45.060" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never read any books on sleep and we mostly did our own thing. My &lt;em&gt;personal, unscientific&lt;/em&gt; observation is that babies are very different when it comes to sleep, and what works for one child will not work for others. Some parents read a book and works perfect for their kids, and then if it doesn't work for their friend's kid are convinced they are 'doing it wrong'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think babies, parents are all different to make &lt;strong&gt;unique&lt;/strong&gt; family dynamics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eating at night&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my kids were/are night eaters. I was puzzles, since they are both good eaters (especially the oldest), but my friend told me to consider this: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you yourself wake up at night, are you hungry sometimes? The reason you don't go an eat is that you know 2am is not eating time. A baby doesn't know. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found this very reasonable, and waited until he himself stopped most nights and then around 2 years when I felt I could talk to him, even in the 'sleepy haze' told him that now was not the time for eating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally chose to feed my babies at night when they were hungry, even when they did not need it (medically speaking). I made it a choice, and by 2, the oldest were done. It was not a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;as for everything else, I don't have any answers for you, other than babies are different. Different temperaments, different things work. Neither of mine are interested in the comfort of stuffies/blankets. Oldest was easy to get off bottle/nursing, youngest does not want to give up his bottle (even when I stopped nursing). I don't worry about it, it will not go on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T20:46:45.060" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16328" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-27T20:49:53.013" Score="9" ViewCount="1698" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are two working parents so most of the discipline happens on week nights or weekends. When our boy or girl was acting out the consequences were usually one of these:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take away something (no sweet, no ball )&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take away an activity (no tv, no game time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alone time in room, time out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Add time frame to anything (no tv for week)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However as the boy gets old these actions (or the threat of these actions) don't seem to have much effect. The 4yr sister sees this and follows suit in continuing bad behavior regardless of discipline. This as unfortunate side effects for discipline:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We yell to get point across (the more you yell the less effective it is)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We harshen discipline, which makes them moody all weekend etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We try one-on-one, heart-to-heart conversations which are good but don't produce any lasting result&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to become a dad that has to scare is kids by yelling in order for them to stop hitting each other or making a mess while eating. I don't want to be a discipline dictator but I also don't want them to be uncontrollable. They are good kids now and mostly listen if yell but I feel them slipping and i'm running out of ammo. The 8yr old boy is easily emotional but a good communicator... er negotiator. and the 4yr old girl is a spitfire and tends to yell/scream/hit as protest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any long-lasting discipline suggestions appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11281" LastEditorUserId="11281" LastEditDate="2014-10-28T17:12:06.930" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T09:26:38.377" Title="When disciplining that used to work no longer works for a middle childhood boy and q preschooler girl" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16319" CreationDate="2014-10-27T21:03:51.747" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; fix this, and do even better than that. You can become a great dad!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We always want our children to learn the consequences of their behaviors, believing that it's one of life's most valuable lessons. Now it's your turn to face consequences. There are no quick fixes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have given your eldest ample evidence that he &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; be afraid of and wary around you. To be desperate to change that is also to be unrealistic, and it basically means you want him to throw away the valid feelings he has for the risky proposition of trusting you again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All parents make mistakes. I've made my share (maybe more). When I ask my (now adult) children what they remember of some of my worst behaviors, I am so grateful to hear that usually they don't remember anything. They do remember some of my apologies, though, and they laughingly remember some of the crazy restitutions I made when I was wrong (restitution is a big issue for me).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, all that to say what you've done, whatever it is, may be fresh in his mind now, but it won't stay that way if you don't reinforce those memories anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I agree that parents aren't responsible for all of a child's personality, you have modeled anger as a coping device for him. You admit that you've &lt;em&gt;smacked&lt;/em&gt; him and shouted at him, and he's (justly) wary/afraid. Sure, you didn't say &quot;This is how I want you to act: get angry!&quot; But kids do learn coping mechanisms from adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't done it already, I would advise you first to sit down with him and apologize (profusely) for what you've done to him that was unjust (knowing that not everything was so). Don't worry about putting it into &lt;em&gt;child's sentences&lt;/em&gt;. He will likely understand even a fairly adult apology. Own what you've done, explain why it was wrong, explain how you now know why it was wrong, and ask him if he can forgive you (please don't demand it). Promise him you'll be more patient and wise from now on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, &lt;strong&gt;stop yelling&lt;/strong&gt;. Yelling is threatening to people who don't feel powerful, and he's had enough of it. Express your expectations in a calm and rational way. Use a method of discipline that allows you to emotionally disengage from the process, so that you won't get angry. &lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work on letting him express his feelings to you about things in a safe way. You can start with less threatening, positive feelings. Pay attention to what he says. Act on it when you can. Work around to negative things. Teach him feeling words so he can be accurate. Words like frustrated, grumpy, uncomfortable, worried, confused, safe, excited, proud, thankful, disappointed, lonely etc. &lt;sup&gt;[2]&lt;/sup&gt; This will help him to identify his feelings and will present an opportunity to model how to deal with these feelings in a safe, wise way. Allow him to articulate negative feelings about your behavior; he has them whether they are articulated or not. You don't need to do what he wants you to do about them (he is only 6 after all), but you need to show him he's safe with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, forgive yourself. Apologize, own, ask for forgiveness, and grant yourself some as well. We all make mistakes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do these things, you will do far more for your son's well-being, his future, and his relationship with you than you can possibly imagine right now. Time does heal many wounds. Love in practice heals many, many more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below are more resources. Keep working on that relationship. You'll all win in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[1] My go-to book for effective discipline is 1-2-3 Magic (appropriate starting at age two), one of most effective approaches to behavioral (self-) correction I've ever encountered. When applied correctly and consistently, it allows time outs to be applied without the parent losing their cool, while it gives your child (if not right now, it will early on) an opportunity to correct himself if he is able to before the time out, gaining some experience in self control and managing frustration without loss of self esteem. (1-2-3-Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Thomas W Phelan PhD.)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[2] You can use appropriate words from lists &lt;a href=&quot;http://childrenscenter.sa.ucsb.edu/cmsmedia/documents/parentsupport/feelingwords.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt; [3] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=449&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Helping Young Children Manage the Strong Emotion of Anger&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt; [4] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nasponline.org/resources/handouts/revisedPDFs/selfcontrol.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Teaching Young Children Self-Control Skills&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-01-06T12:07:00.637" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T12:07:00.637" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16328" CreationDate="2014-10-27T21:38:46.703" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have an 8 yr. old and a 4 yr. old. In children these ages (esp. the younger child), removing tv for week is an ineffective way to discipline, because the discipline is not tied immediately to the action that provoked it. Response to an unacceptable behavior is most effective when it's immediate and consistent. Also, your discipline seems to have consequences not directly related to their behavior: it consists mainly of taking things away, instead of teaching them better behavior patterns. This method is usually called punishment. The goal of punishment is to inhibit unacceptable behavior. The goal of discipline is to help a child change impulsive, random behavior into controlled, purposeful behavior.&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt; Although this is extremely common (especially when tired or stressed), equating discipline &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; with punishment diminishes both the parent and the child: the parent feels lack of control and confidence, and the opportunity for the child to learn good choices and the self-esteem that comes with them is lacking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;1-2-3-Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12&lt;/em&gt; by Thomas W Phelan PhD is a great resource for effective discipline without anger. In my opinion, it's the best method out there. My children's pediatrician gave it to me, and I used it with my headstrong children. My father was a tyrant (honestly) and I was never taught effective parenting skills. I had nothing to fall back on (I didn't want to be like my father). This book was a lifesaver for me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For any method of discipline to be effective, you (both) have to be very consistent. The point of discipline isn't to make your kids angry or resentful; it's to teach them that actions have consequences, and to make wise decisions. Also, teaching kids self-control so that they see the benefit of refraining from bad behavior is an incredibly important lesson. If kids learn to control their impulses, all kinds of wonderful things (like delaying gratification - a key to doing well in school) can happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This method, which relies on time-outs, may seem too childish to work for your children (as you've indicated, it doesn't seem to work anymore), but it's not. You can discipline your kids without losing your temper, or allowing arguments over your discipline, while giving your children an opportunity to correct themselves before the time out, learning self control and managing frustration without loss of self esteem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read some reviews of it &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1889140430&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://discipline.about.com/od/Parenting_Resources/fr/Parenting-Book-Review-1-2-3-Magic.htm&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://challengingboys.com/2014/04/does-1-2-3-magic-work/&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. These are independent sites, and, no, I have no financial interest in this method. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully other parents will give you other ideas as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[1] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cehd.umn.edu/ceed/publications/questionsaboutkids/disciplineenglishrevised.pdf&quot;&gt;Center for Early Education and Development:&#xA;What’s the Difference Between Discipline and Punishment?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-10-27T22:52:55.810" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T22:52:55.810" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16328" CreationDate="2014-10-27T21:52:40.913" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you focus on separating why the child is misbehaving:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wanting to do something contraindicated&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Directly challenging authority/boundaries&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wildness/out of control behavior&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The three kinds of misbehavior are very different in &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; the child is doing the action(s), and that drives how you discipline them.  It sounds like your older child may be moving more towards 2, which is common as they get older (teenage years is all about this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your younger daughter may still be well into 3, and you should definitely pay attention to this.  If she's just wild, you have to get her out of her wildness before any discipline could potentially work.  Walking away, taking a toy away briefly (just picking it up, not banishing it), whatever jolts her out of the wildness - or just waiting a little while.  Wildness isn't really misbehavior, in the classic sense: it's lacking the emotional control to behave.  My three year old is all about wildness - he's probably the best behaved boy on the planet of his age other than his wildness, but he has a lot of that.  You need to teach her how to gain self control - a 'calm' mantra, for example, or walking away to a quiet place (bathroom is a great example of this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bigger issue, it sounds like, is the pushing boundaries and challenging authority.  This is what we have the hardest time with.  You have to make sure consequences are clear and consistent, of course, but also relevant and timely.  I'm sure Dan B. will chime in with a better explanation of this, but in the short, a week long banishment is nearly entirely ineffective. 15 minutes is sufficient for almost any situation, even in the teenage years - but it has to be something directly relevant.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep these consistent, and don't escalate.  Don't yell.  Don't get mad.  They're trying to find out exactly what it takes to get you mad, and what power they have over you - after all, kids don't have a lot of power, but one of the powers they do have is making you emotionally respond to them (in all sorts of ways).  Not to say this is malicious, it's just part of childhood - figuring out how you can exert influence over others.  Keeping calm and not taking their actions personally is very important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also set them up for success.  What kinds of things are they pushing you on?  If it's things like misbehaving at the store, stop taking them to the store.  If that's not feasible, figure out what you can do to limit the opportunities for acting out.  Put the four year old in the cart.  Set up small positive rewards for good behavior - &quot;If we don't have any problems at the store, we'll get you a fizzy water.&quot;  In general do what you can to reduce the opportunities for misbehavior and increase positive reinforcements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're acting out at home, take them out more.  You say that they're hitting each other; some of that you may just need to tolerate.  My parents generally did, and it worked out okay for us; my younger brother learned to defend himself, and I learned not to take things too far.  They'll have to work out their own physical and emotional relationship, and while you should guide that, you can't control it completely.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you can't completely control them, and you have to be okay with that: get them to where they can be successful, and have the tools with which to do that, and the rest will work itself out over time.  Keeping your calm, and figuring out why they're doing what they're doing, are two major keys to helping your children learn self control and more consistently good behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-27T21:52:40.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-28T01:17:28.187" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is perfectly normal, healthy behaviour for your child. He watches you in order to learn from you. Please don't do anything to make him feel this behaviour is in any way wrong. Simply go about your tasks with your little shadow in tow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don't take this the wrong way, but perhaps it would be worthwhile for you to try to understand your own apparent need for validation from your toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11289" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T01:17:28.187" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16328" CreationDate="2014-10-28T01:54:05.227" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I saw the word &quot;discipline&quot; used in the context of children and I really thought I should refer you to two authors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, please see Alice Miller. Her website is www.alice-miller.com. If it's down, you can access it using the WayBackMachine at www.archive.org. Please do read her books and/or her articles. Many of us treat children in very damaging ways, causing them psychological harm when they become adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, please take a look at Alfie Kohn (www.alfiekohn.org). His latest book, &quot;The Myth of the Spoiled Child,&quot; should be of interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really appreciate your effort to be a better parent than your own parents. I would give you detailed comments but I think Alice Miller's and Alfie Kohn's material are best approached on a first-hand basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S.: I wanted to leave this as a comment but I do not have enough reputation to do that. I dislike this system of needing reputation to do something as basic as commenting on someone's post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading the comments to my answer, I thought I'll add more details. Some disclaimers: First, I am not a parent. But I was a child once, and I know many who were children once, and I draw my knowledge based on my own experience, and on the experience of countless others. Second, I do not mean anyone any disrespect; I understand parenting must be tough, and to do it right when a lot of us (usually) have had crappy parents, that must be really difficult. Maybe I'll know that feeling someday myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with A.S. Neill (author of &lt;em&gt;Summerhill: A Radical Approach to Child Rearing&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;Freedom, Not License!&lt;/em&gt;) when he says that children have natural phases and that we have to let them live out their natural phases instead of trying to control them, and instead of trying to suppress their vitality. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say that they make a mess while eating. Why not let them make a mess? They do not have the same notion of &quot;neatness&quot; as us, so it is clear that they will make a mess. Why do you think them making a mess is a bad idea? Is it because you have to clean them up and you really do not want to because your wife and yourself had work all day? Or is it because you think they might not know how to have proper eating manners when they grow up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I quote from A.S. Neill's Summerhill here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The common assumption that good habits that have not been forced into us during early childhood can never develop in us later on in life is an assumption we have been brought up on and which we unquestioningly accept merely because the idea has never been challenged. I deny this premise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A. S. Neill talks a lot about giving chilren love and freedom, and not to be manipulative of them. He says that if we let children live out their natural phases, they will get to a point where they understand, through their own opinion, about why being neat matters, for example. Do read the two books I cited, &lt;em&gt;Summerhill&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;Freedom, Not License!&lt;/em&gt; to see Neill's decades of experience running the Summerhill school (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/&quot;&gt;http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that in many cases, we adults suppress the vitality and the reactive feelings of children, who in many cases, are unable to express their true emotion and resort to tendencies such as spitting and screaming and hitting each other. I think that our tendency to resort to &quot;discipline,&quot; is misguided, because not only are we being extremely manipulative to our children, and not only are we suppressing their vitality and their natural needs, we are also failing to recognize their true needs. We are also failing to give them unconditional love, and &lt;em&gt;they desperately need our love!&lt;/em&gt; Many times, we impose this discipline for our own selfish needs (maybe because we need the peace and quiet, or maybe we do not want to clean up their mess).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked you to read Alfie Kohn, and Alice Miller, (and now A. S. Neill) because in their writing, they make us question the underlying assumptions and norms in society, and they make us reflect a lot on our own childhood (Alice Miller does this very well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to Kohn's book &lt;em&gt;The Myth of the Spoiled Child&lt;/em&gt;, I would also recommend looking at &lt;em&gt;Unconditional Parenting&lt;/em&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.alfiekohn.org/up/&quot;&gt;http://www.alfiekohn.org/up/&lt;/a&gt;). I have not read either of them yet (they are on my to-read list) but I recommend them on the basis of being familiar with Kohn's other work, and of being familiar with Kohn's general line of thought. Here's a quote from the Unconditional Parenting book website (bold emphasis mine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. &lt;strong&gt;Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including &quot;time-outs&quot;), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us.&lt;/strong&gt; Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from &quot;doing to&quot; to &quot;working with&quot; parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read much of Miller's work. I started out by reading &lt;em&gt;The Truth Will Set You Free&lt;/em&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.alice-miller.com/books_en.php?page=10&quot;&gt;http://www.alice-miller.com/books_en.php?page=10&lt;/a&gt;) and &lt;em&gt;The Body Never Lies&lt;/em&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.alice-miller.com/books_en.php?page=11&quot;&gt;http://www.alice-miller.com/books_en.php?page=11&lt;/a&gt;). You might like those two. Many others start Miller by reading her first work &lt;em&gt;The Drama of the Gifted Child&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps. I am aware that my response appears to be of the type &quot;read these books and you'll be fine.&quot; But my intention really is to point you in the direction where we question the accepted norms of child-rearing, such as &quot;discipline,&quot; so that we may collectively give our kids a far far better childhood, a childhood that &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; children deserve, a childhood that many of us were denied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11290" LastEditorUserId="11290" LastEditDate="2014-10-28T13:44:42.210" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T13:44:42.210" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16325" CreationDate="2014-10-28T06:15:48.797" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;However, this doesn't mean he doesn't look for milk when he wakes at&#xA;  night. I think most sources agree that a 9 month old shouldn't need to&#xA;  feed at night so why is he still looking for milk? He eats reasonably&#xA;  well in the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife still breast feeds our son of 1,5 years old. Its only since a few weeks he doesn't wake up anymore at night to have some breast feeded milk. My older son slept through the whole night when he was a couple of months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know many people are not keen on the idea of co-sleeping&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He slept beside our beds for as long as he could fit in the co-sleeper. Some say to put them in their own beds, on their own room, as soon as possible. We think this is against mother nature, as we think its more natural to keep them close. We didn't with our first son, which I regret now. As he is, and always have been, less affectionate then my younger son. I think its a result of us being less affectionate in the beginning. If I could do it over, I would choose to be more patient, and keep him closer. My wife said, if she could do it over, she would had tried longer to get breastfeeding to work as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;often during daytime naps, my baby wakes up after the first sleep&#xA;  cycle, crying and seemingly not ready to finish his nap. However&#xA;  whether this happens or not doesn't seem to relate to how he went to&#xA;  sleep. sometimes when our baby wakes at night, he can be settled&#xA;  easily with a little patting in his cot. Other times he cries a lot&#xA;  and needs to be picked up. This happens for different wakings in the&#xA;  same night or wakings at a similar stage of different nights and seems&#xA;  independent of how he went to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I, myself, sleep very different every night. One night I'm way more restful to take a good night of sleep while others I am a bit more restless. Sometimes I am so relaxed before I go to sleep that I become conscious while I'm dreaming (lucid dreaming). Though I can say that I always sleep well, each night is still of different quality to me, depending on my state of mind (especially the state of mind right before going to bed). I believe my children experience that in a similar matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We are not interested in leaving our baby to cry at this stage but&#xA;  prefer to try more gentle methods and we understand this can take&#xA;  longer&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience this is the most important: intention. My sons are sensitive to the way I feel about something. Of course I am not amused when I need to get out of bed while having to get up early in the morning to get to work. If I have this feeling, while trying to 'comfort' them (read: getting them back to sleep, the faster the better), the success rate is low. When I really feel for them, and not self-pitying, and have the intention to stay as long as necessary, they are back to sleep way faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have the (or any) answer. But maybe some of my experience is of use to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4705" LastEditDate="2014-10-28T06:23:29.817" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T06:23:29.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16289" CreationDate="2014-10-28T10:11:36.197" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd check in this order:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there something that troubles him? Sometimes seemingly minor things can get a child very confused and helpless. Some children have surprisingly fine antennas for undercurrents. Think alonge the lines of family / parental relationship, jealousy, bullying at school, recent changes in his life... True, this is a large field, but worth some research. Especially if the behaviour is comparatively &quot;new&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also if the behaviour is &quot;newish&quot;: He might have started puberty. The talking back and distractedness might be a hint. Remember: during puberty the brain remodels itself and there can be a phase where a child is really unable to function as expected - and realizes this. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he's &quot;always&quot; been like this: Have him checked for ADHD, Erica has given an excellent answer on this point. (But keep the next paragraph in mind.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have his IQ and learning abilities checked. Often gifted children are misdiagnosed for ADHD. It requires some experience to distinguish between 3. and 4., especially if the child is older and rather &quot;rebellious&quot;. There are  &quot;varieties&quot; of gifted children, some who are very, very meticulous and precise, some are jumpy and have difficulties focusing because their brain follows so many ideas at the same time. This results in deep inner conflict as the child knows he should easily be able to do sth. but simply can't focus. Same goes for learning disorders. Skipping homework is something gifted children tend to do, too - why repeat what's been understood?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check the amount of TV/Computer time and the amount of sugar or food colorings etc. in his diet. Some children are more sensitive to this than others. (My son, (8) literally starts twitching if he's had too much sugar or more than 45 min of TV, my daughter (5) simply walks away from TV if she's not interested any more.) Don't restrict as punishment, offer alternatives instead. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a thorough check-up at a pediatrician: For example: The thyroid can wreak havoc on a child's behaviour. Allergies can cause weird effects, too. You might even have the hormone levels checked (see 2.).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please get this child some help. At 10, he needs love, attention, guidance and support. Also, let him play, preferably outdoors, this is a valuable outlet for pent-up energy, reduces adrenaline and other stress-hormones and helps coping with whatever troubles him. Watching him (not openly, just &quot;happening to be there&quot;), you might even get some insights...&#xA;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt; Work with a good, experienced pediatrician or psychiatrist, talk to his teachers, coaches etc. Don't hesiate to get a second or even third opinion and always take their assessments with a grain of salt, parents usually know their child best.&#xA;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;I can understand why a mother might be at the end of her rope, but you can't &quot;beat sense&quot; into a child. Maybe the parents could do with a break, too? Relax. Take the tension out of the family dynamics. If possible, stop &quot;training&quot; the child for a while. Have fun together. This might be a first step to peace. &#xA;&lt;br&gt;Then, depending what's at the root of his behaviour, act accordingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T10:11:36.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16325" CreationDate="2014-10-28T10:14:36.103" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had similar problems with our daughter, who is now almost 14 months old; she used to wake up during the night to eat, one or two times per night. We tried making routines but didn't notice any significant change.&#xA;In our opinion she was indeed waking up because she was hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We noticed improvements when we managed to give her less milk and more &quot;solid&quot; food, when she was around 10-11 months old. At the time she started asking for less nursing day by day, and she would not wake up every night; she still used to get nursed before sleeping and sometimes in the morning, if she woke up early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then one day my wife ran out of milk, and my daughter seemed to accept it without problems, and went to sleep without asking. This still amazes me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We guessed that her stomach adjusted to the new timetable, and that the solid food kept her full a bit longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope what I wrote is readable, as I'm not a native English speaker, and more than that I hope any of this is useful to you :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9721" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T10:14:36.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-28T13:47:14.933" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the other answers but want to add something: Up to a certain point in development children can't think abstract. If you leave the room, you're gone. Not like in &quot;gone from the room&quot; but like in &quot;gone out of existence&quot;. The abstract thinking &quot;I asked dad for something to drink, so he will go and fetch it and be right back with what I asked for&quot; might simply be too much. Even if kids start to show abstract thinking it's not an on-or-off learned thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point you can hide a ball under a cup while a kid is watching. Then ask the kid where is the ball. Small kids may answer &quot;away&quot; even though they just saw it vanish under the cup. Kids with more experience may still answer &quot;don't know&quot;, if you wait some time before you ask. If you ask in turn: &quot;Where did you see the ball last?&quot; The kid is likely to remember. But it's still a long way to &quot;Either it's under the cup or you moved it.&quot; Actually some never learn the last part and still wonder how the woman can wiggle &quot;her&quot; feet although the magician just parted her with that saw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11296" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T13:47:14.933" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3972" CreationDate="2014-10-28T14:55:11.827" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid used to frequently reach 39 to 40°C.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We used to go to hospital, where they gave him all possible medications, but the only thing that worked was to wrap him in a wet towel -- not very cold but colder than room temperature.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This was changed every 10 minutes, and it could take up to two hours for the fever to go below 39.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11297" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-10-28T17:35:46.013" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T17:35:46.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16328" CreationDate="2014-10-28T17:48:31.040" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your preschooler or middle childhood kid(s) are not listening to you and you are looking for tips that doesn't include yelling louder here is are some resources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Tips&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try really thinking about why the child is misbehaving&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discipline in context so it's easier for kids to remember and associate&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Time outs or alone time help sometimes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Parental Wisdom&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take a breath, and be aware of your own state, stress level and mood (hangry?) before you discipline&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discipline is most effective if it happens right away in contest&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The threat of longer punishment doesn't make it more effective&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yelling more only makes them numb to it and nobody should get used to being yelled at&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be consistent with your discipline, this doesn't mean always yelling ;?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Careful not to get kids in the habit of constantly looking for your approval&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to connect emotionally with your child before&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ultimately, you can't completely control them, and you have to be&#xA;okay with that: get them to where they can be successful, and have&#xA;the tools with which to do that, and the rest will work itself out&#xA;over time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider that some rebellion, crazy behavior or acting out is perfectly normal in childhood and you don't have to auto-correct it. Nobody is perfect and everybody is different.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Books&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0345548043&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;No-Drama-Discipline&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1889140430&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children&#xA;2–12&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0738217247&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Myth of the Spoiled Child: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom about Children and Parenting&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0465016901&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Good-Behaviour-Book-Better-Behaved/dp/0007198248/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Good Behaviour Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Child from Birth to Age Ten&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11281" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T17:48:31.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3972" CreationDate="2014-10-28T18:22:54.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/feverchildren/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NHS: Fever in Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A fever is a high temperature. As a general rule, in children, a temperature of over 37.5°C (99.5°F) is a fever.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When to seek urgent medical advice&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Contact your GP [doctor] or health visitor urgently if your child:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - is under three months old and has a temperature of 38°C (101°F) or above&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - is between three and six months old and has a temperature of 39°C (102°F) or above&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - is over six months old and, as well as a fever, has other signs of being unwell, such as floppiness and drowsiness&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If it isn't possible to contact your GP, call your local out-of-hours service or NHS 111.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If your child seems to be well, other than having a high temperature – for example, if they are playing and attentive – it is less likely that they are seriously ill. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Treating a fever&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If your child has a fever, it's important to keep them hydrated by giving them plenty of cool water to drink. Even if your child isn't thirsty, try to get them to drink little and often to keep their fluid levels up.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;To help reduce your child’s temperature you can also:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - keep them cool if the environment is warm – for example, you can just cover them with a lightweight sheet (but they should be appropriately dressed for their surroundings)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - keep their room cool – 18°C (65°F) is about right (open a window if you need to)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - give them children's paracetamol or ibuprofen – you can't give them both at the same time, but if one doesn’t work you may want to try the other later. These are painkillers that also act as antipyretics, meaning they help to reduce fever&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Antipyretics aren't always necessary – for example, if your child isn't distressed by the fever or underlying illness.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Always read the patient information leaflet that comes with the medication, when using antipyretics, to find the correct dose and frequency for your child’s age.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/treating-high-temperature-children.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/treating-high-temperature-children.aspx&lt;/a&gt; (including 'How do I treat a fever?' video).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T18:22:54.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16342" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-28T19:06:03.230" Score="2" ViewCount="222" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3.5-year-old daughter. She doesn't know how to turn over in bed. I myself know how to, but not how to teach how to do the same or in an easier way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I teach my 3.5-year-old how to turn over in bed under her blanket?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11301" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-09T12:09:01.497" LastActivityDate="2019-08-09T12:09:01.497" Title="How to teach my 3.5-year-old to turnover in bed?" Tags="|toddler|development|teaching|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16226" CreationDate="2014-10-28T19:48:45.497" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If anything it is bad for the eyes. They are not meant for focusing on flat objects, 1-2 feet away, for extended periods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids (5 and below) watch TV from at least 10-12 feet away. Those (kids/adults) who work on computers a lot should use reading glasses (+1 to +2 diopters) so as to reduce strain otherwise there is a good chance of Myopia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking it is a good idea to keep small kids away from computers/iPads as long as you can. More of it means less time for playing outside/exercising/developing social skills, less exposure to much needed sunlight etc. More time at home will also increase the chance for obesity, knock-knees etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your kids must watch TV then get a 40&quot; plus TV and keep it 15-20 feet away. Also don't use high contrast. The lesser the better. Also make sure to have a soft light source somewhere on the opposite side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11302" LastActivityDate="2014-10-28T19:48:45.497" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16344" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-29T02:22:38.103" Score="0" ViewCount="4355" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 month old daughter is giving mommy &amp;amp; daddy the sense she's fighting her sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is causing us to lose sleep. My daughter wakes up, or at least moves and makes noises in her sleep. She will do any of the following or a combination of all: moan, cries, whines,  throws her head from one location to another, rolls her entire body from one location to another. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need help! Why is this happening and should I be concerned?  Keep in mind she was a premi. Should I discuss this with her pediatrician? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11306" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-10-30T14:40:43.680" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T20:10:28.853" Title="9 month old baby girl sleep habits" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10458" CreationDate="2014-10-29T03:31:37.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess its normal. Even.when i was a teen, I used to keep my pillow next to me and used to sleep by hugging it. But mostly it was to reduce my anxiety and provide comfort.&#xA;Yeah.. So its normal ( hopefully, oe else I am not normal lol)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T03:31:37.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16346" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16354" CreationDate="2014-10-29T03:43:04.983" Score="3" ViewCount="10479" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my twin babies has started biting herself when I try to soothe her (when she starts crying). She will try to bite her lower arms or wrist and leave bite marks. After that she will start shrieking and crying because of the pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have checked her mouth to see if she is teething, but she is NOT. Her gums are not hard and she has got 3 teeth which she had by 10 months. She also doesn't bite me or anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She just loves biting herself and then shrieks. Everytime, she tries to bite,  I firmly hold her hand and say NO, then she starts crying. If she sees I am not watching her, she quickly tries to go for a bite (sadly it's her wrist she bites).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has started from last three days only and I am worried that my other twin will also start copying and will bite herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-05T13:21:53.903" LastActivityDate="2019-02-05T13:21:53.903" Title="Why does my 12-month-old baby bite herself?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|twins|biting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16344" CreationDate="2014-10-29T03:57:26.647" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think moaning , crying, whining are pretty normal when babies wake up from a nap.&#xA;While babies love to sleep, there are some who just dont like it .&#xA;One of my twins is always sleeping, whereas the other us just.not interested and with great difficulty would sleep for a few hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you are worried, its better to take them to HV/ pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T03:57:26.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6128" CreationDate="2014-10-29T05:05:00.747" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son got a green pea stuck in his nose, I was told to come into ER to remove it.  They said there was concern if it went further &amp;amp; he could aspirate it into lungs.  The dr quickly removed it w/ a small wire loop.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The next time it happened, a pinto bean, it actually fell lower in the nostril &amp;amp; he was able to blow it out before we got into car to go to dr!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11307" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T05:05:00.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1873" CreationDate="2014-10-29T06:54:24.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Moderation is very good. Once they reach a higher age like 5-6 offer it in moderation. I guess a rule of thumb is if they are too young to ask for it, then no. They don't need sweets impacting their early development and at that age the probably won't care anyway. Perhaps the best age to start is the age where they can somewhat understand the risks associated with the junk food. Even still moderation is probably best until a certain age. When they grow up more and clearly understand the risks allow them to eat it as the please because you probably won't be able to stop them anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11308" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T06:54:24.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16344" CreationDate="2014-10-29T07:59:00.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many of the things you describe sound to me like the opposite of fighting sleep. Whining, throwing head from side to side, rolling her body are (seemingly strange) things that many babies do to try to self sooth, i.e. perhaps she is coming into light sleep and does these things to try to resettle and not wake up. So you could see this as a good thing as hopefully she'll learn to stay asleep by herself. You said that she's still asleep so that also make me think she doesn't want to get up. She may cry if she wants to stay asleep but it's not working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also have a nine month old baby and he does all these things too so I think it's fairly normal. At least when I've searched online there are plenty of people with the same thing.  My baby can also do some very odd things trying to go to sleep at night. Sometimes he babbles very loudly, sometimes he crawls around. I comfort him if he cries but if he seems happy I let him get on with it. I'm afraid I can't tell you how long it will happen for as we haven't got that far yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say in general, there's no need to call your doctor. However, if you find that sometimes it's worse than normal, she cries more and really can't settle then she could be feeling unwell. Things such as ear infections can cause the baby to be more uncomfortable when laying down. You will probably know if something's unusual, if she seems much worse for just a few nights and usually there would be other symptoms like a raised temperature, runny nose and cough. In this case I would suggest you take her to the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T07:59:00.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16328" CreationDate="2014-10-29T08:45:42.167" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You probably don't want to hear this, but it sounds like your expectations are too high - i.e. you probably have too many rules, so the kids can't stick to all of them, so they will fail and you have to correct them, and so they become a more and more resilient to your corrections. Give them an opportunity to succeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never give a child a rule that is too difficult to abide by, or too many rules. Yes, kids are naughty, and need to be guided back on track now and again, but....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find you continuously need to 'discipline' (I personally hate that word - parents should not discipline kids, parents must discipline themselves), then the problem may be that you are trying to hold them to too many rules at once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Build from the ground up. Most important things first, e.g. not biting your sister is more important than not throwing water on the floor. So, have your &lt;em&gt;&quot;no eating your sister's finger rule&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, but don't have a &lt;em&gt;&quot;no water in the house rule&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, until the more important rule is successfully embedded an accepted by the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can only mould them so many times in a certain time span before they get frustrated, so make it easy for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't think &lt;strong&gt;rule&lt;/strong&gt;, rather think &lt;strong&gt;good things I want to teach my kids&lt;/strong&gt;. Never try to teach them more than a certain amount of things at once. Limit yourself to 3 or 4 rules. &lt;em&gt;Discipline yourself&lt;/em&gt; by not adding another &lt;em&gt;thing to teach my kid&lt;/em&gt;, without removing a thing from the list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way you, your wife and the kids will be able to achieve small victories, and every-time you achieve one, you can move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take it easy on yourself and take it easy on your kids. Start by throwing away your rule-book. Good relationships with your children and between siblings are more important than getting everything right. Once relationships are damaged, everything else will start falling apart. If you have rock solid relationships, love, trust &lt;em&gt;and fun&lt;/em&gt;, then start moulding them - slowly, one step at a time. Don't make a rule unless it's absolutely necessary, and even so, keep that list &lt;em&gt;short&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In one word - &lt;strong&gt;relax&lt;/strong&gt; :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11309" LastEditorUserId="11309" LastEditDate="2014-10-29T09:26:38.377" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T09:26:38.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16346" CreationDate="2014-10-29T14:48:12.753" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, she probably is teething to some degree.  Kids generally have at least mild teething from 9 months or so to 15 months, at a minimum.  Not to say they're in pain, but chewing/gumming feels good to them, just like it does sometimes to adults who have mild tooth issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless she's breaking the skin, I would let her do this.  If it's not breaking the skin it's harmless - pain isn't actually damaging at these levels/frequencies.  This is part of experiential learning.  She's probably doing it to see what it feels like, to see if it makes her mouth feel better (or just feel interestingly).  Biting yourself you have a good idea of when to stop, since you have a feedback mechanism (the pain).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of my children do this from time to time, although they don't scream in pain (largely because they've learned when to stop).  It's a stress release - as with adults, mild amounts of pain can be useful for calming nerves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only concern I'd have is if it starts to involve biting others.  Many children go through a biting others phase; if that does begin then take a look at some of the other questions on this site on that topic.  I would consider that totally separate from this, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T14:48:12.753" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-29T14:55:07.213" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another thing to keep in mind is that time and cause and effect are very fluid concepts (as NoAnswer said, abstract) in the minds of children. They don't, in general, understand the idea of &quot;just a minute&quot; or &quot;in a moment.&quot; They have a need/want, and either it's satisfied or it isn't. They don't have a &quot;progress bar.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I see a lot of first-time parents do is try to immediately satisfy every request that comes from their child's lips. This sets bad precedents for the future. It's important that they don't feel they can't trust you, but they also need to learn about patience, especially if you're in the middle of doing something important (watching a favorite TV show is not one of those important things, generally speaking; tending to a hot stove while cooking probably is). Sometimes it's just as important that you communicate to them that you recognize they are waiting for you, because often times kids also just want to know that they are still important enough that you notice them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, don't sweat it too much, especially if you have more than one and the others don't act like him. Each child has a different personality!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11318" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T14:55:07.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16356" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16357" CreationDate="2014-10-29T18:09:08.480" Score="4" ViewCount="407" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some family members have invited my two older kids to visit for a week next summer. The plan is that the children would fly there, and then we (and the youngest sibling) would drive up a week later to pick them up, visit a few days, and then drive home again. While they've been on vacations without us before (the same relatives drove them to Disneyworld a year ago), neither one has flown on a plane.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are (happily) not being pressured to send the children if anybody is uncomfortable with the idea. I've spent the last few months going back and forth in my mind. I think this could be a fun adventure and positive experience for them, and a way to help them both feel responsible and mature. On the other hand, I'm freaking out about plane crashes, kidnappers, what happens if they get in a fight -- mostly things that my logical side considers to be overprotective and dramatic, but my emotional side can't stop fretting over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter will be 11, and generally responsible and conscientious. Her younger brother will be 8. He's terribly forgetful and doesn't like being in unfamiliar situations, although with his sister along he'll probably cope. I am assuming that parents will be able to escort them to the gate and other relatives will allowed to the gate to meet them, so really the only alone time will be on the plane itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that there's no &quot;right age&quot; at which kids are old enough to fly on their own. What are some things I should be considering as we come to a decision? Since neither has ever flown before, how can I help prepare them for the experience -- particularly the younger who might freak out about pressure changes, thumps as the landing gear deploys, turbulence...?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T04:43:28.193" Title="What factors should I consider when deciding to let children fly unaccompanied?" Tags="|travel|independence|flying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16356" CreationDate="2014-10-29T18:28:47.270" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off &lt;strong&gt;check that it is possible&lt;/strong&gt;, I know some airplanes have rules about minimum ages for unaccompanied minors, so you may want to check.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't assume you can take them to and pick them up from the gate - I know some airports do not issue gate passes any more. Check with the airports. If you can't you may have to purchase an unaccompanied minor service to bring them to the gate. (or do as a friend did, and purchase a cheap ticket for her mom so she could pick up her grandchild at the gate, never intending to use the ticket, but just to get through security).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Preparing your children&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that if at all possible, &lt;strong&gt;fly with them once before you go&lt;/strong&gt;. I don't think being on a plane is that strange, and you can't go anywhere, but it might still be a little strange. If you can't fly with them, consider &lt;strong&gt;getting them used to public transportation in general&lt;/strong&gt; - sitting next to strangers, letting someone take you to your destination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea would be to have them &lt;strong&gt;watch videos of people flying on planes&lt;/strong&gt; (just not movies with crashes, terrorists, snakes...). Just show that it is normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reassure that the safety instructions that it is just a precaution&lt;/strong&gt;, they can be a little intimidating. Just like putting on a seatbelt in the car, you want to know where the emergency exits are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider &lt;strong&gt;looking at the user satisfaction of the airline&lt;/strong&gt;. Choosing one with nice stewards/stewardesses might help. Also make sure your children know they should follow their instructions, and that they can always ask them for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Explain the basics of air flight&lt;/strong&gt;: You enter, taxi, ascent, fly at cruising altitude, decent, exit. Explain that there can be turbulence. Explain that there will be a big 'thonk' when the landing wheels fold down in most planes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Explain basic behavior on planes&lt;/strong&gt;: you have to use your seat belt, you have to stow your hand luggage, you don't use tray tables or recline you seat until you are at cruising altitude, you don't kick the back of the seat in front of you, you politely request a person next to you let you get to the bathroom, you have to stay in your seat if there is turbulence, and so forth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Role play&lt;/strong&gt; the entire journey if you can, 'play airplane trip'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-10-29T18:28:47.270" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16356" CreationDate="2014-10-30T02:01:02.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check with the airline if it's permissible at all, but also whether they have a process to handle it - typically non-low-cost airlines will provide a staff member to take them from the check in desk to the gate, to ensure they get to the right place. They can then be met on the other end&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot for me would depend on the airport. If they're flying to a small regional airport, it's practically a big bus station with a single waiting area, you can walk them to the security gate, ensure they get through and then leave them with instructions to ask directions once through.... Departures is usually just one big room with several gates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the airport is larger, or they have to transfer somewhere larger, I'd be less keen - Atlanta or similar are daunting enough as a seasoned traveller adult, never mind a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11317" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T02:01:02.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16356" CreationDate="2014-10-30T02:03:50.040" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your children may be too young to fly unaccompanied so it is best to check that first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I flew several times unaccompanied as a child, but generally before security restrictions prevented people going to the gate.  My experience as a younger child was that I was always escorted (walked, driven on a cart, or a series of carts / cars if changing concourses) to my gate.  At the gate, I was left to my own devices in the waiting area until the plane started boarding.  I was called by name to board first.  When getting off the plane, I was asked to wait in my seat and they came and got me after everyone else had gotten off the plane to take me to the next gate.  If there was a long layover and the next gate was not yet ready, then I was taken to a special children's waiting area that is a closed room with constant supervision.  When I was older (16?), I was able to go on my own from gate to gate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The experience was fairly well controlled, but I was not being constantly monitored while waiting at the gate.  That said, airports are pretty safe places behind security and I never felt unsafe or scared.  However, it may be an adventure if your children have not spent much time on their own or flown before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11325" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T02:03:50.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1893" CreationDate="2014-10-30T02:07:42.950" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not introducing natural spices and flavours will make your child picky - I'm 25 and exceptionally picky, which I put down to not having spice available (never mind encouraged) in my diet at a young age. Now I'm older, I love some of the blander flavours but simply can't handle others - there're too far out of my comfort zone and repulse me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blaming my parents for my own pickiness? Perhaps... But it's certainly beyond 'I don't want that', I pick things up to taste and have to spit them back out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11317" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T02:07:42.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2014-10-30T04:41:29.607" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Day time:&#xA;I think, the best method is to wait for the child to be asleep . Make sure you dont take more than 30 minutes to &quot; do it&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then check on.your toddler,  again and sit beside him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Night:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, to do it in night when the toddler, is sleeping heavily is the best time as you get lot of time &amp;amp; dont need to.hurry up.&#xA;Closing the door (locking it) is a good option as I dont feel its a good thing to make live in front of the child as the kid is too small to understand and may want to try to copy the behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T04:41:29.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2611" CreationDate="2014-10-30T04:42:55.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 and 3 months. We had been having problems with manual toothbrushes, so I was advised to use an electric one because they are more &quot;fun&quot; (I have never have an electric toothbrush so at first I did not get the fun part). I bought an electric toothbrush for her and it was an amazing experience. On the warnings at the back of the toothbrush it said that children should not bite or chew the brush and that it was for kids 3+. I was somehow concerned for these warnings since my little one still chews the manual brush and does not let me help her, plus she is not 3 yet. I told her not to chew the toothbrush and she did not!!!. She has been brushing her teeth all day long with my help and seems to really enjoy it. I will let her continue with the electric one but only under my supervision.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11327" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T04:42:55.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16356" CreationDate="2014-10-30T04:43:28.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do your children do with unexpected situations?  If bad weather causes the flight to be diverted to an airport 50 miles away, how well would they deal with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For that matter, how well would the person meeting them at the destination handle it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6912" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T04:43:28.193" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2014-10-30T04:59:19.143" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess that when we see our newborn baby, a exact name comes to us which suits the child perfectly, and we can’t then think of any other name for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess other factors for naming include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Easy to pronounce.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Popular. At the same time, not too common.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Beautiful meaning which fits the child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pretty and feminine (if it’s a girl’s name), or masculine (if it’s a boy). (For example, in my opinion the name &quot;Whisper&quot; is a bit too feminine for a boy.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have twin baby girls. Their names are Rose Petal and Sneha Olive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="1920" LastEditDate="2015-02-18T17:28:35.860" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T17:28:35.860" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2014-10-30T04:59:19.143" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10441" CreationDate="2014-10-30T10:15:43.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its  normal I guess, but still to be on safe side, I would recommend you take/show your daughter to the HV/ Doctor.&#xA;One of my twins had a milky white discharge from her vagina two days after birth. I panicked and took her to the doctor, who said not to worry. Only if there is a foul smell coming from the discharge; then there may be an infection.&#xA;As you said, its all due to hormones.&#xA;Bleeding after birth or few days after is okay.&#xA;What I want to know is:&#xA;If it is just a few drops or heavy bleeding. If its the former,then its perfectly normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dont worry. It will stop eventually. &#xA;While cleaning her vagina, just spread the labia a bit and gently clean the creases with luke warm water and no need to dig deeper as it may hurt the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2016-06-07T05:17:35.573" LastActivityDate="2016-06-07T05:17:35.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16305" CreationDate="2014-10-30T10:48:43.383" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that he simply loves you and wants to participate in your activities at least by presence only. Later he will try to help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems, you do not trust much in him and are trying bad explanation instead of a good one. Of course, you are expecting the same distrust from his side. But now he trusts you much more than you trust him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want people to trust you, start from trusting them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2321" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T10:48:43.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16370" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16374" CreationDate="2014-10-30T11:55:48.723" Score="11" ViewCount="9087" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five years old daughter sometime farts silently, and she doesn't excuse herself. Every time I detect such a situation, I remind her that she should try to avoid it and leave the room, going to a toilet, but if she fails to do that, she should excuse herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife says this is wrong. She claims that we need to keep teaching our kids (that one and younger one) that they should hold in the gas and leave to toilet, but if any escapes, they should remain silent. In my wife's opinion, excusing oneself for farting in a quite young kid is a bad attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which one of us is right? Is there any general advice to handle such situations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11179" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-10-30T15:21:51.783" LastActivityDate="2019-11-20T13:18:23.600" Title="Should a 5 year old excuse themselves after farting?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|etiquette|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16344" CreationDate="2014-10-30T12:16:11.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the absence of other symptoms such as a raised temperature or difficulty breathing, this sounds like the normal process of a baby learning how to sleep and to self-settle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All humans go through cycles of lighter and deeper sleep in the night, often waking briefly several times. As adults we've mostly learnt to quietly go back to sleep, usually without even remembering waking. So it's surprising to us that this is a skill which has to be learned. Your daughter is learning this, and, if in most cases she's able to get herself back to sleep without your help, she's doing better than my daughter did! There may be occasions when she bumps her head on the side of the cot and wakes properly and needs some comfort. You may recognise the more urgent wail that signals real distress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being caring parents you are waking up concerned about your child. To help with your tiredness, mommy and daddy can take it in turns to be &quot;on-duty&quot; or &quot;off-duty&quot;. The person off-duty should aim to get as much sleep as possible, preferably in another room to the baby, only to be called on in emergencies. I find simply knowing that I'm off-duty means I sleep a lot better! Swap roles for the next night or sooner if exhaustion/frustration/anger sets in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T12:16:11.293" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16370" CreationDate="2014-10-30T12:18:36.337" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I encourage my kids to excuse themselves when they pass gas. (Obviously the best-case scenario is that they are able to release it in the bathroom instead, but things happen.) I have a few goals with this: acknowledging that there's going to be a brief bad smell in the room, accepting responsibility for it, and begging pardon for inflicting it on the other people in the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that encouraging silence instead of acknowledgment completely misses the second and third goals. There's very little chance that the smell will not be noticed if there are other people in the room, and especially if there are other kids around this can lead to a great deal of blaming, arguing, and bad feeling. This can be avoided by a brief apology before the smell really spreads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are different kinds of acknowledgment, however. I would consider a simple &quot;excuse me&quot; to be polite. If they proclaim &quot;EXCUSE ME, I HAVE JUST FARTED AND IT WILL PROBABLY STINK,&quot; or &quot;I farted! &lt;em&gt;[endless laughter]&lt;/em&gt;&quot;... &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; isn't helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My goal is to get them to understand that this is something that can happen to anybody, and it shouldn't be a gigantic source of embarrassment or shame, but it should also be dealt with rapidly and briefly so everybody can just get over it and move on with their lives. This isn't particularly &lt;em&gt;easy&lt;/em&gt;, because kids tend to find bodily functions both highly amusing and highly embarrassing, but we're working on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T12:18:36.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16373" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-30T12:39:10.790" Score="0" ViewCount="102" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 5 month old and he is suffering from reflux. The problem is he is not crying for food no does he take any interest in people. Also he doesn't smile ... and he doesn't cry even if we take the toy from him or if we pinch him... He always stares at the thing but he is very less interested its seems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is on topfeed... It really takes long time to feed him - and feeding him is not an easy task, for some time now he eats only 4 ounces in a day&#xA;he avg ounce is 12&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11332" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-30T12:44:29.103" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T23:07:49.933" Title="baby reflux problem" Tags="|food|crying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2014-11-02T08:37:26.870" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16370" CreationDate="2014-10-30T12:39:49.823" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that there are some people you should be comfortable with, comfortable enough to pass gas in their general vicinity and not have to apologize. And the closest family should certainly be such people. At home, when I'm not alone, I try to do it in the toilet, though I don't feel bad or ashamed to let one go when my wife or LO is near. Seriously, farting is natural, don't make it such a bad thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for other places or situations - I think that the child should excuse if he farts loudly. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but it's not good manners either. Make sure to stress that it's not a crime or something very, very bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think less of people who have accidentally loudly farted in my presence. Noone should, I guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-10-30T18:49:55.897" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T18:49:55.897" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16370" CreationDate="2014-10-30T15:12:57.030" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Miss Manners &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?id=Q348PWE1p6MC&amp;amp;lpg=PA294&amp;amp;ots=LDfCOZ-Orn&amp;amp;dq=miss%20manners%20unacceptable%20noises&amp;amp;pg=PA294#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=miss%20manners%20unacceptable%20noises&amp;amp;f=false&quot;&gt;agrees with your wife&lt;/a&gt;: &quot;unacceptable noises&quot; (her term) should be &quot;acknowledged by neither the noisemaker nor the noise recipient&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11334" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T15:12:57.030" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16376" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-30T16:32:38.993" Score="35" ViewCount="41954" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is now 20 years old, still living with us at home and goes to University three days a week. He has never had a job. Since he was a child I have tried to encourage him to do tasks for pocket money but he just wasn't interested and he hasn't changed his attitude since. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At junior school he was one of the brightest in his year and showed such promise with leadership skills. He became quieter at secondary school but still did well with his gcse's. By the time he was at college we started having problems with him, getting phone calls from his tutors saying he wasn't turning in for his lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We managed to get him to stick it out although he lied to us constantly, he even lied to us about getting accepted into Manchester university when he hadn't and let his dad look for accommodation for him knowing that he hadn't been accepted. We were gob smacked when we found out he was lying and he only told us the truth because he found out that he had been accepted into another university which is local. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last year he was only turning up to uni one day a week as he said he didn't need to go in the other two days as he could do his work at home. I have trouble believing him with this as he has lied to us so many times, but I think as uni is costing him so much in loans and that he is hardly there, that he should get a job alongside uni as otherwise he just sits in his room all day playing games and constantly making a mess in the kitchen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cook his meals, wash his clothes and don't charge board. I'm getting so depressed about this because I feel like I'm working so hard to earn money to keep the roof over my family's heads but I get no thanks for it.  I feel like I'm the bad guy for bringing it up time and time again that I want my son to contribute and get a job. I'm horrified that my other 18 year old son seems to be showing the same lack of responsibility in regards to getting a job.  Though he has applied for many jobs he just thinks he tried and failed, so what? And it's a constant headache trying to get him to try a bit harder and to keep on looking.  What can I do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cook for him as I cook in large quantities for all our family. It would seem awful for the rest of us to sit around the table eating a nice meal and to tell him that he has to buy and make his own food separately to the rest of us. I wash his clothes as this takes no extra time or effort on my part, and he is expected to bring his laundry down to the utility room and to iron his clothes. He will do, and does do daily chores but only when asked. I can't expect him to take the dog out every day as his duty for example, he has to be asked every day. He doesn't put up a fight or argue, but does the task in whichever way takes the least thought or effort and then goes back to his room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is an intelligent boy academically, his teachers used to describe him as being a sponge, soaking up knowledge easily. The problem is in his social skills. He is introverted and likes his own company, dislikes and avoids talking to people if he can help it, and I've tried to encourage him to be more sociable with some improvements but he's very stubborn about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of the reasons behind why I'm so worried about him never having had a job yet. When I was young I was also shy and lacked confidence but I'd still managed to find myself several jobs starting when I was 12 and did babysitting. I was motivated to do this as I wanted to earn the money. My son lacks this motivation. When he was at college I stopped giving him money or buying him clothes hoping this would make him desire money and give him the motivation to get a job, but he just made his bit of Xmas money last all year and wore the same old clothes all year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he started uni he spent his student loan on a computer, a holiday and the rest covered his travelling fares so there wasn't any left to charge him rent. I was feeling annoyed about the holiday but also thought as he doesn't mix with friends often that the experience might be good for him socially, and I also hoped that having the student loan as a contrast to having no money while he was at college might make him learn to appreciate the difference some money makes, and to give him a desire to earn some for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has applied for jobs but half heatedly as he is only doing it to appease me and his father, and in the current climate I don't think this is going to land him a job any time soon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell you just how relieved I would feel if he just got a job, anything, even just a temp job over Xmas or stacking shelves in a supermarket, just for him to take that first step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried everything and where I'm going wrong is probably not being tough enough on him. The next thing for me to do is maybe taking away all his games, TV and devices so that his comfort zone is a little less comfortable, and last resort would be to kick him out, which I know I haven't got the heart to do as just the fact that he has made it as far as university is an achievement, (I dropped out of college after one year and ended up in a dead end job working unsociable hours for next to nothing for most of my life so far), so I don't want to do anything that causes him to drop uni, which I'm sure he will if he's pushed too hard as it was difficult enough getting him to complete college. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead I think I may have a chat and work out some rent while he's living with us, and then in his next year tell him that I expect him to move into student accommodation unless he has by then managed to find himself a part time job, in which case I'd be more than happy for him to continue living with us. I like him living with us in any case, despite him being messy and unsociable he is still my son and I love him. I just want him to take some responsibility and get a job for his own sake and to ease my worried mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11335" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-10-31T14:31:44.567" LastActivityDate="2019-02-21T02:39:42.437" Title="Should I expect my 20 year old son to get a job while at University?" Tags="|teen|parents|" AnswerCount="22" CommentCount="19" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12507" CreationDate="2014-10-30T16:47:19.167" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the space behind the back allows the baby to slouch (curved posture?) then the short strap between the legs is most likely not in the correct position.  Adjust the strap according to the manual and if you cannot remedy the problem then the safest thing for the baby is to purchase a new seat that fits more snugly.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.evenflo.com/Safety/The_Basics_of_Installation/Car_Seat_Selection_Proper_Fit/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Fitting Checklist&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T16:47:19.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16370" CreationDate="2014-10-30T17:09:15.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the wife.&#xA;Even though, Farting is very common,  sadly our society does show hypocrisy in accepting it resulting in embarrasement.&#xA;So the best method is to fart in toilet, but if by chance a person farts in public, unless asked why should he holler in front of everyone &quot; Excuse Me, In case you are wondering, I just wanted to let all of you know thats its ME who farted :) &quot;&#xA;Quite unnecassary and not needed. Isnt it?Its better to be silent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T17:09:15.300" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16370" CreationDate="2014-10-30T19:31:12.347" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;She should try to leave the room or the crowd if you're trying to avoid impropriety. A toilet is unnecessary when simply away from prying olfactory senses would do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now to the meat of the issue: Stating that it is wrong or bad for a child, teen, or adult to pass gas is the same as stating it is wrong for them to sneeze or cough in public. If society as a majority would stop promoting negativity towards involuntary bodily functions, this question wouldn't even exist. Some people are gassy. This plays more into diet than biology, but that is another topic. They belch and/or pass gas after eating during the course of the normal digestive process. This is involuntary. Forcing them to hold it in or face the consequence of societal embarrassment is, quite simply, antiquated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hey look, articles. Holding it in can lead to health issues. Teaching a child to hold it in only compounds the issue. I'll leave this to the health nuts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://drbenkim.com/gas-burping-do-not-hold.htm&quot;&gt;Why You Shouldn't Suppress the Urge to Burp or Pass Gas&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naturalhealth365.com/natural_healing/flatulence.html&quot;&gt;Holding in flatulence can make you sick&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.berkeleywellness.com/self-care/over-counter-products/article/holding-intestinal-gas&quot;&gt;Holding in Intestinal Gas&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10040" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T19:31:12.347" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-30T19:36:36.767" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put together s list of what people in the real world pay.  Tell him he can either pay that or pay reasonable board.  Tell him that if he wants to continue living in your home he will have to either get a job, or do many chores at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/money/blog/2012/aug/31/how-much-rent-charge-son&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.theguardian.com/money/blog/2012/aug/31/how-much-rent-charge-son&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1811940&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1811940&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These two links give some context for the UK but they might be out of date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But certainly not paying anything and not doing chores is not an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, you'll need to have a plan if he just turns round and says &quot;no&quot; - most parents would find it very hard to evict their own child.  But you need to show a bit of spine now.  You're not doing him any favours otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course: do check there's no underlying mental health problems.  Men are pretty good at hiding these and you don't want to pile on if he's going through a time of illness.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T19:36:36.767" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16344" CreationDate="2014-10-30T20:10:28.853" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young kids, and babies in particular, may often not have consistent sleep patterns (they are, after all, growing and changing so quickly and so constantly; plus, there's that teething thing...). Good sleepers can turn into sleep fighters, and bad sleepers can all of a sudden start snoozing through the night, and that can all change again and again. I think that it may not hurt to ask the pediatrician (it's always possible that there's something bugging your baby that could be a mild medical problem), but I wouldn't be too concerned about your baby. I'd be more concerned with your own sanity, especially if you're not used to inconvenient sleep patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can, try taking turns soothing your baby to sleep if she needs it. There's no hard and fast answer as far as what you need to do. Some babies need cuddles. Some babies need water or milk (especially those who nurse). Some fuss and creak even though they aren't truly awake, and go back to sleep after a little bit. Do what feels right, and, well, it's unavoidable that while your own sleep is interrupted, you'll feel a little worse for the wear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something that's helped me to get through my son's sleep troubles was telling myself &quot;it will not last forever!&quot; and mentally taking it one day at a time. He woke up every 1.5-2 hours until he was 18 months old, and I was the only one who could put him back to sleep. He would absolutely not go back to sleep on his own (at least not in a way that I was okay with, I couldn't stand the idea of him crying for a long time); fussing lead to waking up, and he would get more and more wound up until he was fully awake and very unhappy, and need very active soothing. Nothing was wrong with him, it's just how he was wired--he hated falling asleep, feeling sleepy, and waking up. I've received all kinds of well-intended advice that essentially came down to telling me I was doing it wrong, but the reality of it was, all was to come in its due time. It got better one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11341" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T20:10:28.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-30T20:42:34.077" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: You are not the bad guy; it's time for him to start building up strength to fly on his own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of the hardest, most distressing parts of parenting. We want to be wise, just and loving towards our children; we don't want to feel that we're being unloving. Many of us also feel some guilt as well, thinking &lt;em&gt;Where have I failed in teaching my child a good work-ethic?&lt;/em&gt; If your husband is involved, you need to provide a united front here. You will need to support each other. A support system of friends, or a group-meeting type of thing might help, too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's normal in most societies to expect a 20 year old man to pull his own weight. Many expect a 20 yr old to be out of the house by now (except, perhaps, during summer breaks if attending university). You should have &lt;strong&gt;no guilt&lt;/strong&gt; (i.e. you're not the &lt;em&gt;bad guy&lt;/em&gt;) in expecting the same of your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation didn't happen overnight and it won't go away overnight. The following is one of &lt;em&gt;many possible scenarios&lt;/em&gt; (alter as you see fit). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your son hasn't had a job yet, he's not likely to get one tomorrow, so he'll need some time. Decide how much longer you can &lt;em&gt;reasonably&lt;/em&gt; tolerate his behavior, and set this up as a starting point for your new expectations. Sit down and have a talk with him as soon as possible outlining your new expectations; know he's likely to test them and be ready to hear a lot of blame-shifting. It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing; these are your expectations. Tell him that in &lt;em&gt;n&lt;/em&gt; months (say, 3-6), he needs to have a job working &lt;em&gt;at least&lt;/em&gt; &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; number of hours (40 hours - [verifiable hours spent in class X 3]) a week - even if that means two part-time jobs - and he needs to pay you &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; pounds per month for rent, and pay for half of his food. Set a reasonable (bare bones) clothing allowance, and tell him this will be all the money he gets. In (6-12?) months, his room and board will be (full, decent and fair rent &lt;em&gt;and utilities&lt;/em&gt;, all food), and his gas and part of the insurance (whatever) for the car, and no more clothing allowance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, tell him he's old enough to appreciate all you do for him, and that while you will always love him and be his mother, your days of &lt;em&gt;serving him&lt;/em&gt; are over starting now. He needs to do his own cleaning up after himself, his laundry, etc. If he doesn't do his dishes, put them aside, and tell him he can use them in whatever condition they're in for his next meal. Offer to teach him how to do laundry and how to cook. Preparing yourself ahead of time for his balking will help when he complains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discuss what his options are if he doesn't clean up his act: he can rent a flat with some friends, he can try to see if any of his friends or relatives will take him in, he can panhandle for the money, he can work for you for (minimum?) wage, he can apply for welfare, backpack across Europe, whatever. But &lt;em&gt;mean it&lt;/em&gt;. He needs to be pulling all his weight or he needs to be somewhere else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A necessary part of raising a child is letting him learn to fly on his own. You're giving him 6 - 12 months to get his act together. I think this is fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, sit down with your 18 year old and tell him there is no law (neither man's nor God's) that states all children must be treated equally, and that you've learned from your mistakes with the eldest. Start setting some limits for him as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will be a hard time for you. Gather strength from the fact that this is a difficult but necessary part of your sons' growing up, and that you're doing this for them, not for your convenience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;The only caveat I would make for this is in the case of documented mental illness. In that case, I would consult my son's therapist(s) and look into options as agreed upon by us and the therapist.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited for update&lt;/strong&gt;: You sound like a really lovely mom, the kind of mom a lot of us would have loved to have had, and it's clear that you love your son very much. This is so important for someone who feels overwhelmed and doesn't have a lot of friends or self confidence. Your continued love is very necessary for his well being. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, though, it sounds like you don't expect enough from your son and that you make excuses for behaviors which are ultimately bad for him. Just isolating a few lines from your update, you say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It would seem awful for the rest of us to sit around the table eating a nice meal and to tell him that he has to buy/make his own food separately... I wash his clothes as this takes no extra time or effort on my part... I cant expect him to take the dog out every day... He is an intelligent boy academically...[t]he problem is He is introverted... When I was young I was also shy... I stopped giving him money or buying him clothes, but he just wore the same old clothes all year...when he started uni he spent his student loan on a computer, &lt;strong&gt;a holiday and the rest covered his travelling fares so there wasn't any left to charge him rent.&lt;/strong&gt;...he's applied for jobs but half heatedly as he is only doing it to appease [us] and in the current climate I don't think this is going to land him a job any time soon...[H]ow relieved I would feel if he just got a job, anything...just...that first step....&lt;strong&gt;maybe&lt;/strong&gt; taking away his..comfort zone...I don't want to do anything that causes him to drop uni, which I'm sure he will if he's pushed too hard... &lt;strong&gt;I like him living with us in any case, despite him being messy and unsociable&lt;/strong&gt; I just want him to take some responsibility and get a job for his own sake and to ease my worried mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you expect so little from him, why should he believe in himself? Yes, he had to wear the same old clothes. That's called a natural consequence. If that (and the rest) pains you too much, &lt;em&gt;you aren't doing him any favors.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You&lt;/em&gt; learned early that to work was to survive. It was hard for you and you gave up a lot. You want your son to have a better life that you had/have. All parents who love their kids want that. But I am pretty confident in saying that if you don't (lovingly, but truly and confidently) expect anything more from him, he will not gain confidence in himself. He will not be able to support a wife or family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is your son and his life, and you get to choose what to do, but you are not helping him to become a successful adult, and &lt;em&gt;that's a big part of your job.&lt;/em&gt; When will you give him a chance (also known as lighting a fire under his tush) to learn to live without you, to eat, cook, clean, take responsibility, with a uni degree and a job?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have a lot of thinking to do here. Please, for your son's sake, change your expectations of him. He won't and probably can't do it for himself. And if he drops out of uni, &lt;em&gt;he can always go back&lt;/em&gt;. If you think he's depressed or anxious, have him see a therapist, but move forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life isn't black or white, yes or no; it's a thousand paths of grey. Stop expecting him to fail if you push him. He might end up soaring one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-10-31T18:10:44.250" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T18:10:44.250" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15040" CreationDate="2014-10-30T20:53:40.870" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;That seems normal to me. Or rather, one of the many things that can be considered normal. Many babies do feel like they nurse for hours on end, especially ones this young. It's not because there's a problem with you or with the baby, it's just what some babies do. They aren't eating meals and they aren't nursing just for food. Being close to mama and snoozing on her warm chest just feels right to them, and suckling nearly constantly is fine. Remember, when they were womb-bound they had a constant flow of &quot;food&quot; into their system from the placenta. The outside world adjustment is a tough one! It can be convenient to give yourself a break by switching out mama for pacifier, but let's face it, some babies just won't take one...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your milk flow isn't constant and while your baby is this young, sometimes it lets down very quickly. If he's having enough wet diapers and is gaining weight normally, you shouldn't be concerned about your son getting enough food, but it's very possible that he does get frustrated with milk flow when it slows down (hence the fussing, getting upset, etc. while nursing). What's probably happening is that at that particular time, your milk isn't letting down as fast as he'd prefer. Breast compressions can help, but changes in milk flow are unavoidable. Try to relieve the frustration by walking and rocking, or you might just have to endure it if there's nothing you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sleep issue can be a difficult one. Babies that are of the constant nursing variety get their snoozes in this way, which is totally fine, but you do have stuff to do and sometimes you just want to feel like you have some freedom. What helped me was wearing my baby on me (I used an Ergo or a wrap, tummy-to-tummy). Bed sharing was also helpful: baby gets mama, and mama gets sleep, everybody was happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that your situation sounds like one of the many normals, and that the best things you can do is be patient, take it one day at a time, try to look at the bigger picture in which babies grow up SO fast, and try and find some tricks that allow you to remain sane while giving your baby what feels right to you. I had to part with so many of the expectations I had of what early motherhood would be like. Every baby is unique and it sounds like you're doing the right thing, although it may not feel like it because so many &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; people seem to have these magical babies that sleep all night, sit quietly in their strollers and nurse every three hours for fifteen minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11341" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T20:53:40.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16373" CreationDate="2014-10-30T21:15:45.617" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to take your child to his doctor. These are not the signs of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/infant-acid-reflux/basics/definition/con-20026253&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;reflux in an infant&lt;/a&gt;. While your baby is young still, these might be the signs of illnesses that begin in infancy. If your baby is eating enough, gaining weight, doesn't appear to have an acute illness (i.e. these symptoms are not brand new over the past couple of days), please consider doing the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Monitor your child’s development. Keep an eye on when/if your child is hitting the key milestones. Write them down. Here is a list of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;developmental milestones&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; your baby should have reached and should be reaching in the near future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make an appointment for the doctor if you don't have one coming up soon. Babies develop at different rates, so you don’t need to panic if your child is a little late here and there. There’s a wide range of “normal.” But if your child is not meeting the milestones for his or her age, or you suspect a problem, share your concerns with your child’s doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don’t accept a wait-and-see approach. If you are told by your doctor to just wait a few months, make sure to agree on a plan: if he's not doing such-and-such a thing by the next visit, what will happen? Are there tests or is there a specialist the baby needs to see for a second opinion? Don't just wait. You are your baby's advocate. Ideally so is your baby's doctor, but even well-meaning/good doctors miss red flags sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Trust your instincts.&lt;/strong&gt; I can't emphasize this enough. In many studies, the parents (especially the mother) will know there's something wrong with their child before the doctor(s) diagnose a problem. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, be persistent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-10-30T23:07:49.933" LastActivityDate="2014-10-30T23:07:49.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-31T00:45:28.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The entire point of university is that it's an education and a transition to adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He needs to start picking up bills, chores, responsibility and organisation (calling utility companies etc) in order to learn how to do these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't tell him to get a job, tell him you're starting to charge board - do it at a reasonable rate, say 60% of the going rate if he had to rent&amp;amp;pay bills. Whether he gets a job is up to him&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is not to make decisions for him, only to put him in a situation where he has to make decisions himself and take responsibility. He might make a mess of it, but that's how we learn. He can decide whether to pay for the rent out of his loan (at the price of having less disposable money) or whether to get a job, lose some time but have the money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record, at 18 I went to uni and essentially became independent, other than holidays at home and the fact that renting from the university is simpler (one bill) than private renting. I consider this one of the most important things in my life in terms of preparing me for adulthood. At 20, it's time your son started taking things on himself, or he'll never learn to until it's too late and he has problems &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life is about compromise and balancing time against money, but by letting him do nothing now, he's not learning to do that and will be in for a real shock when he enters the world and has to budget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, it's certainly possible to survive off a student loan while paying £450 a month in rent and feeding yourself, the job just gives you more beer money...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11317" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T00:45:28.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11807" CreationDate="2014-10-31T00:48:19.793" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hey I am in high school and know exactly how your son feels. My mom recently started to volunteer at my school and it's so horrible. Please just understand for this generation's youth that we still love you guys as our parents but it's different at school. School is our time to be with our friends and chill and unwind from all the problems or whatever at home. By you being at school you take that away from us. It's like you're constantly on our backs and judging our lives. You guys give is extra attention or just do things that are embarrassing. I feel so trapped with you guys around. Please just stop embarrassing us. I know you don't mean it but it makes us feel like we're little kids and we're not. We need to grow up too. Please let us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11348" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T00:48:19.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15150" CreationDate="2014-10-31T00:59:41.877" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm writing this as a child from this sort of situation, rather than a parent. My biological parents separated when I was 10 months old, and my Mum, who had full custody, remarried when I was 2 (I'm now 19). My stepdad had three boys from his previous marriage also, and shared custody with their biological mother. They are all older than me in three year intervals, so the youngest was 5 when I met them (the oldest one 11, middle 8). My mum and stepdad then had 2 more kids, so half siblings to me and my stepbrothers. &#xA;Anyway, to the point: my stepbrothers call my Mum by her first name, which everyone is fine with. They were older when they met her, and their mother was still very involved in their lives. However, I have always called my stepfather 'dad', despite having the choice to call him by something else instead. I was younger, my new brothers called him dad, and my biological dad was almost entirely out of the picture (mostly by choice at this point). It wasn't until I was 11 that my bioDad re-entered my life, and I won't lie and say it was a picnic. However the difference was that my stepdad, who had been through the custody battles with his own kids and knew how awful it was to be pushed away from your own children, was the one most insistent that I reform a relationship with my biological father...and that I call my bioDad 'dad' too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a while things got smoother and I called them both dad when I was with them, but unfortunately my biological dad's marijuana habits (which originated from before I was born) had reached addiction levels, and he passed away 2 years ago. My grief for a man I had only begun to know hit me very hard, and I am very grateful that my stepdad pushed for me to stay in contact with my bioDad, otherwise I would essentially have never known him.&#xA;Anyway, my point to the great amount of rambling is that via living a life that broke the frame of the one-mum-one-dad-with-2.5-kids, my perspective of parent labeling is that, to me, there's a big difference between dad's and fathers, but to me the Dad role isn't always biological. To me, a dad is someone who &lt;em&gt;acts&lt;/em&gt; as your dad. More grey than black and white, sure, but in my mind the male-contributor of your biological gamete is the Father. Your father can be your dad, sure, but I think the man (or woman or whoever it is) that &lt;em&gt;acts&lt;/em&gt; like father is the one with the dad title. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does suck how often the adults moulding the children aren't quite using the greatest moulds, though. While it seems impossible, I guess at the end of the day the child needs to have aged before they can truly make those kinds of decisions themselves, despite people thinking it will be too late. But show your child/ren you love them, and that you're doing the best you can, and even if their using the 'wrong' label in someone's eyes, it's the way they feel about you that matters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11349" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T00:59:41.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16370" CreationDate="2014-10-31T02:46:50.560" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry to write that, but I think your wife is right. You have no right (it's impolite on your part) to demand that your daughter talk about her own flatulence (even indirectly through an excuse). There could be shame associated with that talking, especially with females. And then, your daughter could associate you with that feeling of shame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And another important thing: Females hate being criticized. Your daughter will be a woman and she could very well remember your words in 30 years from now. She might remember it as criticism, and you don't want her to associate this with you forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest relaxing and letting another person handle this part of education: your wife, your daughter's friends or teachers later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I never heard anyone excuse themselves for a fart. For the &quot;listeners&quot; of a fart it's polite to pretend they didn't hear it or smell it. For the farting person it's polite to not further disturb by talking about his or her farting - even indirectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, I also think it's kind of ridiculous because by your rule the mouth would be forced to speak after the bottom &quot;spoke&quot;? That would invert the desired control of our body so that the lower part dictates the higher part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11353" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T02:46:50.560" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-31T08:36:13.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;But why do you want him to do job if he isnt interested now?&#xA;Some people may not like to do any job or go to office early in their lives.&#xA;Example : ME &#xA;I never worked or tried for a job before completing my Post Graduation. I was a very studious teen and wanted to focus only on studying. So, my parents completely supported my decision and even funded for my education. I was staying with them in their house and they were very supporting of the fact.&#xA;After I completed my studies, then I joined Teaching profession and worked for two years. Again, I stopped working after my marraige and am a stay at home mom.&#xA;So, Does that make me Lazy and inactive?&#xA;If NO, then doesnt the same apply to your son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ASK him , if he isnt interested in job, what is he planning to do? Does he have some plans regarding his career, future, marraige etc?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, what I am trying to say is, each child is different and unique in their own way and being a parent, its our responsibility to identify their strengths and interest and motivate them in the right direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T08:36:13.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16392" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16418" CreationDate="2014-10-31T09:23:20.707" Score="5" ViewCount="14598" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a while my 1 Year old son has been a bit of a &quot;Daddys Boy&quot; and we have had a similar experience to this &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6220/1-yr-old-boy-prefers-dad?newreg=4e73669c617243eaba5c29bc6ca73db0&quot;&gt;question&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However its gotten worse lately:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He cries with his mum (for long periods) while I am at work&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Doesn't like me to put him down (he cries and clings onto my shirt/clothes)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Much worse at eating his food (even when I feed him). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the food sometimes the only thing that works is to put food in front of him and &quot;ignore&quot; him, he cries for a bit and then starts to eat when he figures we aren't looking (I hate doing this but its better then him not eating). As a weird coincidence, when I make the food (as apposed to his mum) he seems to prefer but I can't imagine he notices ..I think this is just a false correlation we are spotting&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever we ask a healthcare professional, the answer is &quot;babies cry&quot; but I am worried my wife can't take much more of this constant lack of affection + crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are these symptoms of separation anxiety? Or is it a teething phase (which partly explains the food). Or a mixture of both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any advice for this situation? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11361" LastEditorUserId="11361" LastEditDate="2014-10-31T14:55:02.620" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T18:04:27.430" Title="One Year Old Son, Cries with Mum but not me (Dad). Is it Separation Anxiety?" Tags="|toddler|food|crying|anxiety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16394" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16402" CreationDate="2014-10-31T10:48:04.417" Score="2" ViewCount="8944" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3-4 full series of &quot;Once Upon a Time...&quot;, for example &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_Upon_a_Time..._Life&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Once Upon a Time... Life&lt;/a&gt;&quot;. I played it to my 5 years old daughter and she didn't find it interesting. That isn't much surprising for me, but I'd like to know about best age, when I should consider another attempt with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would 7 years be better? Or maybe 9? Or maybe even more? Maybe this is teenagers-oriented serie?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11179" LastActivityDate="2015-08-29T10:14:20.260" Title="Best age for watching &quot;Once Upon a Time...&quot;-like series" Tags="|pre-schooler|age-appropriate|television|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16342" CreationDate="2014-10-31T10:58:39.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I check on our kids every night before I go to bed, at which point I sometimes find them under the blanket, but have found various combinations and placings of blankets and children. They have been cold at times and lie sleeping curled up not under the blanket, and I tuck them in. However if they get too cold they will wake up and go back under the blanket. I guess the point is that mine are up to 6 years of age. As far as I'm concerned, knocking the blanket off is normal. Sometimes they will kick off the blanket because they are too warm; I know mine do as when I try and put it back it's immediately kicked off again and the child is still asleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are disturbing you lots at night, then warm pyjamas is the correct solution. When asleep, they could be doing anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have in the past tucked another blanket over the top of the existing one and then firmly underneath the mattress for when it is really cold they can't kick off their blanket, but you can't do this when it's not cold else they'll wake up cooking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T10:58:39.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16396" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16399" CreationDate="2014-10-31T11:21:21.583" Score="15" ViewCount="9461" Body="&lt;p&gt;Title says it all.  Our 3-year-old son is old enough to realize that something weird is happening around Oct 31st, but not really old enough to understand complex explanations.  Like most kids this age, he's afraid of various semi-random things (monsters, bouncy castles, hot air balloons...) and has a poor understanding of the difference between real and make-believe.  For example, we went into a party supplies shop to pick up some birthday party gear; needless to say it was packed full of Halloween stuff, and he completely panicked because there was a giant helium balloon of a grinning cartoon &quot;ghost&quot; inside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;True to my engineer nature, my style has been to explain that there's really no such thing as ghosts or monsters, they're just stories and toys.  This isn't really cutting the mustard with him, because as far as he's concerned there &lt;em&gt;really was&lt;/em&gt; a ghost in that shop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife's preference is to not even bother with theory, and just frame things in practical ways he understands: &quot;The ghost lives in the shop with his ghost friends.  It doesn't like sunlight and it's not going to come to our home.&quot;  This is a slippery slope I'd personally prefer not to go down, but it does seem a lot more effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trick-or-treaters, though, we're not having much luck with.  &quot;They're kids in costumes, who collect candy in buckets&quot; he can kinda-sorta grasp if it's preschoolers in Spiderman onesies, but teenagers in full-on zombie makeup, nope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thoughts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2016-08-10T06:21:44.110" Title="How do you explain to a 3-year-old what Halloween is?" Tags="|toddler|fears|halloween|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16398" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16401" CreationDate="2014-10-31T12:26:08.587" Score="3" ViewCount="667" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have twin girls. Both the babies are 12 months old, and my husband has bought halloween costume for them as I just didnt have any idea what they may want to become.&#xA;So my basic question is,  if the babies are too young to talk and tell their preference, then on what basis should we buy a costume for them? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wanted to add, my babies are going to be pumpkin and snow white :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T13:18:29.843" Title="How to decide halloween costume for babies?" Tags="|halloween|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16396" CreationDate="2014-10-31T12:27:14.960" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;(What is it with toddlers and hot air balloons? Mine can't stand them either -- I think the floating blows his mind... &lt;em&gt;what's holding it up in the air?!?&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We frame the holiday in terms of playing pretend: &quot;you get to &lt;strong&gt;dress-up and pretend&lt;/strong&gt; you are something else!&quot; I try to only have &lt;em&gt;mildly scary&lt;/em&gt; things around, and also teach him it can be fun to be a &lt;em&gt;little bit&lt;/em&gt; scared. (Jumping out from behind a door and surprising somebody, after which everybody laughs, is a pretty benign introduction. Often it happens by accident, and then the toddler will follow me around &lt;em&gt;for minutes&lt;/em&gt; yelling &quot;BOO&quot; and expecting me to go, &quot;AAAH! Hahaha, you scared me.&quot;) This can be an introduction to the idea of &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; this holiday exists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually agree with your wife's approach of geographically limiting the scary thing: The ghost lives in that store, but he never leaves his ship. Your son gets back a bit of a feeling of power, because he can walk out of there and make the ghost stay. I also encouraged my kids to &lt;strong&gt;talk back to the scary things&lt;/strong&gt;. They were still frightened, but they had something they could do about it. We drive around and see a creepy witch decoration, and the kids create a witch-proof forcefield around the car. We're in a store and walk by a ghost, the kids deploy their ghost-proof shields and zap the ghost with their anti-ghost magic wands. With just one child, you may need to take the lead: &quot;Oh, look at that ghost. He looks a little scary. I can keep us safe, though, I've got a MAGIC KEY THAT SCARES GHOSTS (pull out keychain). Go ahead, you zap him with it.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't tell my kids that something isn't actually scary, because I think it's unfair to make them feel alone and isolated on top of being afraid. There are always going to be scary things, and so I try to give my kids a way to respond and act instead of freeze. It's OK to be scared, and here are some ways they can be empowered. Plus, I'd rather they tell me when they're afraid of something instead of keeping it to themselves, so if real-life scary things happen they'll feel able to come to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But back to Halloween itself. If you decide to trick-or-treat, I have two main suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep it &lt;em&gt;short&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/strong&gt; At that age, we took our kids around to maybe ten or twenty houses. Many of these were neighbors we knew at least in passing, so they knew his name and were cheerful and complimented his costume. That's enough time to get a taste of the experience without getting exhausted. Plus, not too much candy: he'll be completely overjoyed but you don't have a giant bag to deal with over many months.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep it &lt;em&gt;early&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;local&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/strong&gt; Avoid times/place when teenagers (and even many tweens) are out in costume, since they tend to go for much scarier themes. If your neighborhood is like ours, age is correlated to hour: the toddlers go out first, elementary school kids are out for a while, and the teenagers are last (and sometimes almost absurdly late). So if you do decide to take him out, &lt;strong&gt;go early&lt;/strong&gt;. (Similarly, don't have him answering the door with you later in the evening, when Spiderman and princesses have been replaced with ghouls and zombies.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can help to have an older sibling who's dressing up to help provide context and an example. However, short of a time machine and some interesting paradoxes, you probably can't manage that this year :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T12:27:14.960" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16394" CreationDate="2014-10-31T12:29:55.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, may be teenagers or pre teens  would be more appropriate.&#xA;But, I dont blame your daughter as even I dont like it &amp;amp; find it not so interesting.&#xA;I think other than the age and maturity, even the child's preferences, liking and attitude plays a pivotal role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T12:29:55.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16398" CreationDate="2014-10-31T12:56:57.337" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age it is pretty much irrelevant what your baby may want to become. It is not a concept they will know or have. They have no idea what a witch is, or a mummy, or a zombie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is for you, your family and friends to have fun, and perhaps have something you can look back on in future and see that the babies looked cute/funny/whatever in photographs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, if you buy a baby Halloween costume, it will be cute - shops have no mileage in trying to make babies look horrible. As they get older that may change (my 12 year old looked an absolutely hideous zombie at her school Halloween party the other night, but that was her choice)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you will want to do is make sure they cope with all the scary folks they will meet at a party or trick or treating :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T12:56:57.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16394" CreationDate="2014-10-31T13:10:26.183" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not familiar with that particular series, but our 5 and 7 year-olds watch a wide variety of science and history shows intended for all ages.  A lot of it goes over their heads, but they generally enjoy them and ask good questions that show a certain understanding.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, we recently watched an adult-targeted documentary on the atomic bombs at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  They didn't understand the larger context, but they learned where Japan was on a map, they learned a little about war, and they learned that the bombs were horrible but ended a war that was horrible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are not geniuses.  Their attention is as fickle as any child's, moreso in the case of my son.  They usually prefer shows about princesses or super heroes.  There are a few things we do to get them interested in these kinds of shows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show them regularly, a few times a week at least.  The kids should see it as a normal occurrence instead of something strange and new you're forcing on them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show them right before bed, when they are already winding down for the day, a little bit bored, and looking for more passive entertainment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Recognize topics the kids bring up, and choose shows that elaborate on those topics.  Kids ask a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of questions out of the blue.  For example, we were shopping yesterday and my son suddenly wondered how many different animals there were in the world.  That's a good opportunity to present a nature show about the many species in rain forests, for example.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T13:10:26.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16398" CreationDate="2014-10-31T13:18:29.843" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, I think costumes are &lt;em&gt;entirely&lt;/em&gt; for the parents to enjoy :) The kids (and someday their children) can't enjoy until a much older age when they see photographs of how adorable they looked. Cute pumpkin and princess costumes sound perfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing I'd note is that you should &lt;em&gt;consider safety issues&lt;/em&gt;: avoid excessive ribbons, sparkles, buttons, or any decoration that could be pulled off and eaten. Most costumes sold for kids under three won't have such things anyway, though!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T13:18:29.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16404" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16438" CreationDate="2014-10-31T13:56:14.870" Score="30" ViewCount="3567" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I help my daughter understand that being lesbian or gay is normal and as acceptable as being straight?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a 14-year-old step-daughter who has come here 20 days back to visit us. We live in rural India where many people are not even aware of what homosexuality and preferences mean.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, while spending time with her, I discovered she is lonely, confused and frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, I discovered that she broke her friendship with her best friend over her friend's orientation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her best friend is a lesbian and when that poor girl confessed to my step-daughter, my step-daughter was confused and asked what it meant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she found out the meaning from the Internet, she immediately cut off with her friend and told her that &quot;You are dirty and weird.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="25436" LastEditDate="2017-06-25T06:50:06.653" LastActivityDate="2017-07-02T18:53:51.153" Title="In Rural India; 14 yo daughter broke her friendship due to her feelings on homosexuality. What to do?" Tags="|behavior|step-parents|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-31T14:01:12.587" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The following presumes there are no real mental issues with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you are enabling this behavior it will continue.  Preparing his meals and doing his laundry are NOT doing him any favors.  He should be responsible for all of those things.  If he chooses not to do his own laundry and instead wear clothes that are dirty, that's his choice.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have several children ranging from elementary school up to college.  The oldest (19) doesn't currently have a job, although he did have one in high school.  His job gave him money to see movies, go  on dates etc.  Upon starting college I made a deal with him.  As long as his grade point average is above a 2.5 then I'll continue sending him money for minor living expenses.  If it falls below that then he is on his own.  Thus far this has been a decent motivator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 10, my kids were responsible for their own laundry.  At 8 they were responsible for keepin their rooms clean.  The consequences at those ages for failure were pretty simple: no play time, no electronics, until the tasks were complete.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your son to get a job, then it's time to cut him off from any type of allowance.  He wants to go see a movie? let him pay for it.  He wants to go out with friends? he'll pay.  In order to help the transition give him a deadline such as, &quot;3 weeks from now, you're paying your own way.&quot;  Make the deadline fairly soon but reasonable.  They key here is that &lt;em&gt;you will have to stick to it.&lt;/em&gt;  He will test you because at this point he doesn't believe your threats and &lt;em&gt;he won't&lt;/em&gt; have a job when that deadline hits...  So when he comes to you shortly after asking for money, don't give it to him.  He'll likely fight with you until he realizes that this is the new reality and adjusts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding whether he's actually in college or not, well, he's an adult so you need to treat him as such.  The tutors shouldn't be calling you when he fails to appear.  All that matters is when the semester results are out that he shows those to you.  If they are below the requirements that you set (or even non-existent) then you need to follow through with the consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd probably go so far as to have him sign a contract with you on this.  Something very clear showing what his responsibilities are, what yours are, and what the consequences will be if he fails.  The sad thing is that I suspect that he will fail out of college.  So make sure whatever those consequences are that you are willing to follow through.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;--- update ---&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the update, I do want to clarify a few things.  I'm not suggesting that he makes his own food when eating with the family.  However, in that case he should take a turn making a meal for everyone a couple times a week.  Maybe every Tuesday night he's responsible for cooking, that's just part of being in a community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding laundry, sure it doesn't take any more time for you to handle it if he brings his clothes down.  That's not the point.  The point is that he needs to learn to handle it himself.  Quite frankly, this will introduce a scheduling conflict as the two of you will have to work out &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; the laundry machine is available.  Another option is that you trade off whose turn it is to do laundry.  Maybe every other week is his week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding having to remind him about chores.  I wouldn't do that anymore.  If he doesn't do the chores, then he loses access to the games, tv, etc.  I'm sure that people would complain if he failed cooking when it was his turn or &quot;forgot&quot; to do laundry when it was his week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is: he needs to be a contributing member of the household.  More than that, his contribution needs to grow until he decides it's time to be independent, which is the goal...right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's an adult which means you need to start treating him like the rest of the world did.  If he had a job and his manager had to constantly remind him of his duties then he would lose the job.  Same principle applies here.  If you have to constantly remind him to do the chores, then he needs to both lose access to things as well as feel the community pressure of his failure.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently he has exactly zero motivation to change.  Some minor changes will start to kick in his motivation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of that said, I completely understand that you love him and like having him around.  Sending my oldest off to college with the knowledge that I'll likely only see him around holidays for the foreseeable future was very very hard.  However, by giving him the tools and encouragement (sometimes in a not so friendly way) to expand and run off into the world is the best possible thing for their own growth.  Sure, he'll fall down and he may even end up coming home for a short time for help, but at the end of the day my goal is to raise an independent person fully capable of dealing with life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9005" LastEditorUserId="9005" LastEditDate="2014-10-31T16:12:18.133" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T16:12:18.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16404" CreationDate="2014-10-31T14:08:08.990" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You two are going through a lot recently... stay strong!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On topic: I can see a bit where the &quot;weird&quot; comes from in your daughters mind (because to her, it certainly is weird, or at least strange), but where did she pick up the &quot;dirty&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said she picked up the meaning on the internet: what kind of sites did she find? Her first landing may have heavily shocked her, especially if it was a site that pictures homosexuality as &quot;evil&quot;. If that is the case, try finding more, at best neutral (for &quot;just the facts&quot;) or positive, sources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure if you can do much more right now, because she has to settle a lot of this in her own mind first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T14:08:08.990" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16407" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-31T14:10:22.280" Score="2" ViewCount="136" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a consideration for &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; event or holiday at which kids are given an excessive amount of candy, sweets, or junk food. However, it's on my mind since Halloween is coming up, and the amount of candy they get is going to be &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; greater than other occasions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In previous years, I've let the kids keep all their candy but rationed how much they can eat every day. I hate this for a lot of reasons: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It takes up a surprising amount of space in the pantry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are fights over which bag belongs to who, and the &quot;better&quot; candy mysteriously moves from one bag to another.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They take extra when I'm not in the kitchen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of learning self-control and reasonable portions, they learned to sneak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last year, their dentist had a &quot;buy back&quot; program, where they &quot;sold&quot; a pound of candy to the dentist for $1 (up to $5 per child), and got a toothbrush and some floss. What I found particularly funny was that I broke this took them weeks in advance, that I had a plan to get rid of the majority of their upcoming haul and they could have lots of candy Halloween night, but the next day we'd be trading it in. They didn't believe I would go through with it -- I pulled into the dentist's parking lot and my nine-year-old commented that I was really committed to this joke-- &lt;em&gt;until we were actually in the dentist's office and they were handed a few bucks&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, the dentist's office isn't doing it this year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that every parent has their own definition of &quot;too much,&quot; so I am not concerned with knowing exactly how many candy bars your kids are allowed at any given time -- just what happens when you have to deal with quantities far greater than normal. What are some strategies to avoid having a giant stash of candy in the house for weeks? How do you encourage your children to enjoy treats in moderation when an external situation -- holiday, school party, indulgent relatives -- is creating an opportunity for excess?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T14:30:15.420" Title="Teaching and enforcing moderation when a kid is given too much junk food" Tags="|halloween|junkfood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16396" CreationDate="2014-10-31T14:19:16.017" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Three year olds are definitely old enough to understand 'real' versus 'imaginary/pretend'.  My three year old has nightmares where a plane flies into his room fairly regularly; after the first few, I explained to him that it wasn't real, because a real plane can't fit in his room, and he clearly understands that now.  Still has nightmares, but has a very short recovery period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, 3 years old is when they begin creative play (making up stories, etc.), and Halloween is a perfect example of creative play.  My son generally understands that people dressing up are, well, playing dress-up, and being creative.  Doesn't stop it from being scary sometimes, but at least in his case it was a fairly short adjustment (at the pre-school halloween party, which included several adults dressed up). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, I think Halloween is a great time to talk about that difference.  It's also been great to talk about why people decorate their houses, and why it's interesting to look at those decorations.  I'd bet your three-year-old is capable of understanding even the teenagers with zombie makeup, if you explain why people do it.  If his mother puts on (daily) makeup, then perhaps have her show him that process.  It's not the same thing - but it is, sort of.  Changing one's appearance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, kids even at 3 years old understand quite a bit more than most people expect.  Explaining why people do what they do is important, and can lead to very interesting discussions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T14:19:16.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16407" CreationDate="2014-10-31T14:26:44.870" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two ways we've handled halloween specifically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is that you are in control of the nights activities.  You can limit the number of houses they go to while acquiring their bounty.  Just watch how full those bags get and when they are close to the limit, let the kids know they have &quot;2 more houses&quot;.  Then take them home or do a different activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second way is once trick or treating is over and you are back at the house, have them dump the candy on the table and then let them pick 10 (or whatever) of their favorites.  The rest is thrown away.  One of my kids has no issue sneaking candy, however dumping something completely unappetizing into the trash with it has been a very good deterrent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the other situations: we've communicated our desires to the relatives and our families are more than willing to accommodate.  School Parties aren't an issue as the schools our kids go to are more than happy to keep things limited, after all they don't want to deal with the monsters this could create either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, my in-laws do keep a candy dish by their front door year round.  Every time my kids visit they are allowed to have 1 small treat prior to leaving.... as long as they are good.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, Halloween has the opportunity for excess.  However, again, you are in control of the amount of candy collected.  Just because there are 100 houses in your neighborhood doesn't mean you have to go to all of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9005" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T14:26:44.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16407" CreationDate="2014-10-31T14:30:15.420" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this depends on the age of the child, to some extent.  I have two toddler/preschool aged kids, and for us rationing from a common bowl on top of the fridge works perfectly: they can't steal extras, and there's only one bowl so no arguing over 'better candy'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, once they're a bit older (and probably not much), I think rationing is the wrong approach, as is elimination.  Halloween candy is the perfect opportunity to teach self control.  Children are capable of exerting self control when given the opportunity to practice it.  However, they often are not given that opportunity, because their parents enforce rules that limit their activities to 'acceptable' ones, rather than teaching them to do so on their own - leading to never learning self control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Halloween candy is the perfect opportunity, because overconsumption leads to very obvious short-term negative effects, and a long-term lack of candy, but realistically doesn't hurt your child very much.  If they ate the entire bag the next day (11/1), especially with that being a Saturday, you'd have one day of a sick kid, and afterwards he/she would be pretty much normal.  You're not going to get diabetes from eating a bag of candy (unless you already have diabetes - this doesn't apply to kids who do!).  What you will do is get sick to your stomach, or at least a stomach ache, and probably get a bit dizzy or light headed from the too high sugar consumption.  These are obvious short-term effects, and that's &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; for teaching self control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I plan to do in a few years - I wish I could this year, but we haven't really been focusing on this strategy until very recently and I just don't feel comfortable doing this with a 3 year old until we do - is have a talk about the candy, where we explain that the candy is going to be up to him to ration, but we're not buying candy except for christmas/easter baskets during the year.  If he wants to eat it all in a few weeks, that's fine: but be aware eating too much will make him feel bad, and it will mean he has no candy/dessert for a month afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T14:30:15.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-31T15:07:01.977" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a little older, but I can see what's happening to people a few years younger than me and it's depressing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was his age there were jobs for people without experience. &#xA;It wasn't too hard if you wanted to find some job for pocket money.&#xA;People a little older than me who grew up in that environment and don't have younger peers don't see it, so, logically they think they just need to kick the person hard enough to motivate them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older people often have a hard time understanding just how terrible it is for people in the 16-25 bracket right now. &#xA;The jobs they would have taken are being filled by older people who laid-off during the bust. McDonalds are being staffed by 40 year olds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's still not impossible but when you've got nothing to counter it it doesn't take more than a few dozen PFO replies when you're looking for work to make you start thinking of yourself as defective and unemployable.&#xA;Trying more might lead to a job but the most likely outcome is just another rejection. &#xA;Many of his peers are likely in the same situation and humans eventually give up when they're convinced trying more is futile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every path visible seems to lead to failure one way or another. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of these suggestions are as likely to just add one more item to his personal list of reasons why he thinks he's worthless and useless and why it's not worth even trying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping him find a job genuinely would help in many many ways but that's a non trivial problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9011" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T15:07:01.977" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-31T15:14:25.127" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;He is over two years into adulthood and, unless we are missing information, fully capable of supporting his own basic needs if necessary. Many college students work part (or even full) time to put themselves through school, so your support is not a matter of survival. I think this is important to discuss with your partner. As is the fact that loving someone involves doing what is best for them and not what is most comfortable, so that you can both be on the exact same page. You must present a united front or nothing you do will be successful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Conversation: Phase 1&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sit your son down together and present a united front at all times. Explain that you are happy to help him with some of his necessities. Lay out what you are currently willing to pay for and establish a budget. In this phase I would recommend that you have a budget of necessities only (rent, tuition if you want, groceries, maybe basic clothing). Explain that he is welcome to spend any money he earns on his own any way he wants. Be supportive and offer to help him every step of the way in finding a job.  Perhaps even consider offering an earnings match up to a point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During that first phase be explicit about agency. If he is using your money then it will be very limited and you will get to decide how it is spent. If he is using his money then he gets to decide how it is spent (on anything he wants, without any nagging or negative comments from parents...which is something you must be willing to do). This is an important point. We began using this with our pre-teen daughters and it worked very well to help them see money as a positive thing (something that gives agency) instead of a negative thing (something that limits). Your situation is a little different as your son has already established certain associations with money in the latter sense and seems to see it as an entitlement, but I think this could still help to provide a positive counter-point. Everyone wants control over their own life; help him see this as a way to gain something he doesn't have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have concentrated heavily on the word 'money' here but mean it as a generalized identifier for wealth in any form.  Shelter, food, labor (doing laundry or dishes) are all forms of transferring wealth from you to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Conversation: Phase 2&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you need to discuss the living arrangements.  Explain that you will allow him to continue to live with you for x months (or years).  Even if you don't necessarily want him out right now if he changes, he does need to move out eventually.  At an upper limit, his 23rd birthday should make a good cutoff, though in the rest of this answer I'm assuming you wish it to be more like 3-6 months.  When discussing this try to remove any negative emotion from your tone, and avoid any sort of accusatory wording.  Instead concentrate on helping him plan for and build a successful future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discuss exact dates with your partner before sitting down with your son.  You need to set firm cutoffs.  If you want to provide some sort of grace period in case of extreme circumstances, then define that here as well.  Otherwise, when he gets an extension it can make the rules feel very flexible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Conversation: Phase 3&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final part of the conversation, explain that the amount of support that you provide to him will decrease by 30% per year (or whatever number you feel is tenable). Explain why you are doing this. He must learn to support himself. You're willing to help by providing assistance as he slowly weans off of your support. Depending on his point of view, and your relationship, you could make a point that any support you give is no longer required of you and is, in fact, a favor. Were my 19 year old to act like any money or support or board I gave them was anything other than a treasured gift, they would not receive it, but every parent/child relationship is different. Whatever your plan is, make sure it is clearly communicated so he has expectations and can plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Response&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son will be angry. Your son will likely yell and likely storm off. Prepare for this. Do not show anger; maintain a position of love and support, as if you were forcing a baby to swallow a pill they needed but did not want. If he storms off let him cool down a bit, but in your very next interaction pick up the conversation exactly where you left off; do not let him make it go away.  Refuse to discuss or do anything else until the conversation is finished, even if it takes days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he asks good questions (as opposed to rhetorical ones out of anger) answer them, but immediately return to the topic. Don't get sidetracked into a tangential point. Most importantly, if he refuses to have the conversation go through with the plan exactly as you would have otherwise. The conversation is not to hammer out an agreement, but rather notification to him of what you have already decided to do. He will come back to get that explanation eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, never disagree with your partner during this conversation. The moment you show the slightest crack in that united front he will find a way to drive a chisel in there and pry it into a chasm. It's just what kids are good at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other Points&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeling guilty, or like you're failing him, or like your bad parents, or like you're putting him in danger are all normal feelings. They will not be comfortable. But you are doing no favors by teaching him to be financially reliant on you for the rest of his life. Uncomfortable as it is, teaching him self-sufficiency is the only real option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All children are different. All parents are different. All parent/child relationships are different. How you handle this will have serious repercussions both in his life and in your relationship with him. Don't try to follow any advice given in any answer word for word; take it an modify it to fit your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent I know how easy it is to always see our children as our 'little kids'. But he is an adult now and clearly has not yet learned to act like one in terms of finances. This puts him at a disadvantage, and if he is going to compete and succeed in the world he needs to not just start doing as well as his peers, but going above and beyond so that he can catch up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The personal and financial responsibility he gains will make this more than worth it, but any job experience also goes onto a resume and will help immensely in a job search.  There are a lot of graduates out there, and he wants to get more than entry level wages (or even find a job at all) he'll need to set himself apart.  As someone who has conducted interviews and made joint hiring decisions for multiple companies I will tell you that there is nothing more valuable than experience.  I will also say that someone who worked to put themselves through college shows the kind of veracity and strength of character I want in my office; the last thing I want is an employee that leans on me for every little thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7735" LastEditorUserId="7735" LastEditDate="2016-12-14T22:12:37.440" LastActivityDate="2016-12-14T22:12:37.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-31T15:14:54.050" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking from someone who's been on the other side of this coin, I lived with my parents through college (It was a local college, so it just made sense as opposed to me living in the dorms). I had held a part time (&amp;lt;10 hours weekly) job for a bit of spending money, as opposed to receiving it on Christmas or birthday. Slowly through college my parents started adding things they expected me to pay for more things. First I believe was university things (lunch, books, etc, they covered tuition for the first two semesters but after that I had to pay), then my own gas, then car insurance. Finally, when my first car they had bought me bit the dust, they helped me with the down payment, but monthly payments were all on me. It slowly forced me to take on more hours at my job, and eventually find a job that compensated better (Auto mechanic as opposed to McWorker).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one thing I may caution against is forcing too much responsibility on him. While it doesn't sound like it, if he is a full time student you shouldn't force him to take a full time job. I noticed in my last semester (when I did accept a full time position at the shop), my GPA suffered for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11372" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T15:14:54.050" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16414" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-31T15:35:17.250" Score="5" ViewCount="172" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven year-old son is highly dependent on us to tell him what to do.  We had thought it was an age thing, but his little sister already grew out of it.  How can we help him be more independent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example from this morning.  This time of year in our area we often have highs in the 80s and lows in the 30s, so it's difficult to keep an even temperature and our house is often cold in the morning.  My son decided to dress himself in shorts and a thin T-shirt, and was huddled shivering in the common area when I came out of my room this morning.  We asked him, and he knew exactly what he needed to do to get warm, he just hadn't done it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We expected these kinds of struggles for things parents want kids to do against their will.  I'm completely baffled when we have to tell him to do things he &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to do.  His five year-old sister handles those situations easily, and has for quite some time.  What can we do to help him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we already do, with relative consistency:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let him suffer the natural consequences.  This feels cruel in cases like him being cold, so we reserve it for consequences that don't cause physical suffering.  It works so slowly that it sometimes feels cruel in other cases too.  For example, it took him 5 months to remember to bring his birthday money when we went shopping.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask him questions that lead him to discover the solution for himself.  For example, this morning we asked, &quot;What should you wear if you're cold?&quot;  He always knows the answer, which makes the questions feel like a slightly more tactful way of bossing him around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T22:03:25.147" Title="Encouraging independence" Tags="|behavior|independence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16415" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-10-31T16:10:35.927" Score="5" ViewCount="511" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 22 year old child has recently been diagnosed with a sleep disorder, namely, idiopathic hypersomnia.  What this means is that he sleeps for long periods of time (in my child's case, sometimes in excess of 16 hours at a time), often multiple times per day, and the sleep is largely not restorative or restful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child has had these symptoms grow in intensity over a year or two without remitting.  Now, I am in no position to challenge the diagnosis as I am not a doctor, but it seems to me that my child's problem is that he doesn't have any motivation to or doesn't want to be awake.  I've tried talking to him about this and he claims that his sleep issues are affecting his capacity to think (he was a straight A student up until his junior year of college) and that the sleep inertia he experiences stops him from wanting to do anything.  He has no real sleep schedule--it's a crap shoot whether he'll be up at a given time.  He has fallen asleep doing dangerous tasks like driving.  Due to his sleep issues, he has dropped out of college.  The fact that the skills he has that are employable require degrees and he has no such degree implies he has no real future for employment.  He currently lives at home with me and he does not have any source of income.  He does do small tasks around the house, such as fixing things that are broken and cooking and whatnot when he is awake.  I guess I'm just in denial about his sleep disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My insurance is pretty poor for more exotic illnesses and whatnot so some of the treatments that have been prescribed for my son are not covered due to being classified as experimental or not indicated by the FDA for his specific illness.  Some of the prescriptions are very pricey and I can't afford to pay for them.  The few that he has been able to try have been absolutely ineffective for my son.  Outside of the ineffective or expensive medications, there's practically no treatments for people with my son's condition.  The condition itself is also not considered a disability by many, so he's unlikely to get protection from the ADA or to get concessions from any potential employers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before the sleep issues, he was set on graduating on time and with good grades, getting out of the house, and being able to support himself financially.  Now, he seems to be stuck here with no way out.  And not to sound like a bad parent, but I want him out of the house; I just don't want to kick him out in this condition.  However, the condition (according to his doctor), in most cases, does not go away or lessen in intensity at all.  It seems like he'll be here forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I accept that my son really has this illness and isn't feigning it to get a free ride?  How can I be reasonably supportive of my child while not allowing him to get too comfortable?  What things are reasonable for me to expect him to do around the house or towards getting a degree or a job for himself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not the best writer in the world, so if you would like more information or clarification, let me know and I'll gladly do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11373" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-11-03T20:06:28.920" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T20:06:28.920" Title="What are reasonable expectations and reasonable ways to be supportive for an young adult with a sleep disorder?" Tags="|sleep|adult-child|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11807" CreationDate="2014-10-31T16:16:46.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I feel like most people do not understand is, how cruel children can be. Some kids just go nuts once they find somebody to pick on. Kids don't need to be reasonable about bullying. There is an enormous pressure on those kids to just blend in. And no, that is not even something you should talk him out of. And you should definitely not challenge him about this in school. That probably triggers blank horror in him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion you should most definitely not 'remove him from the situation'. He will probably be marked for months among his peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you should remember, that children and teenagers can have different personalities based on where and around what people they are. They might are much more serious and closed up around large groups or their peers. Affections are just not appropriate around distant peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11377" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T16:16:46.590" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-31T16:44:46.867" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like there are several things at play here. If your son typically doesn't spend any time with friends, it's likely he has social problems and a lack of confidence. Few young adults actually &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to spend all their time at home playing video games, and I think it's very likely that he's completely aware of his situation but doesn't know how or doesn't feel he is able to change it. If he lacks the confidence to make friends, he will also lack motivation to find a job, or do just about anything else. Clearly he has academic potential, but without any motivation, that will be slipping as well. He doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of pressure society puts on a 20 year old. He is expected to suddenly know what he wants to have a career in and earn a degree, he needs to find a partner and become successful, and he sees many of his peers achieving all of this, and thinks he missed his chance and doesn't have what it takes. These are not his personal goals, but rather ones that have been thrust upon him and every other young person. He doesn't know what his own goals would be. In addition, he probably knows you're losing your patience with him. I think his lie about Manchester is evidence of this. If he truly didn't care, he wouldn't have even bothered lying. He lied because he knows how you feel and feels bad himself about being a disappointment, and didn't know what else to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a difficult situation for you because there's very little you can do that will actually change how he feels. You are his mother, so he's naturally not going to fully believe anything you tell him. Charging rent or making him sign a contract is only going to pile on to the guilt and self loathing he's probably already feeling. You can at least ask him to do chores. If he only does specifically what you ask, then specifically ask him &quot;can you walk the dog every day please,&quot; or whatever else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The age of maturity has been pushed back in society, I think. Young people don't become fully realized now until quite a bit later than they used to, so at 20, he still has a good few years before you should really start worrying. He has things to figure out. Be encouraging but try not to be pushy. Make him do chores, but don't sound like you're disappointed in his failures. I also think it would be much easier for him to interact with people if he had room and board at university instead of living at home, but I understand how expensive that can be and if it's not an option for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11376" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T16:44:46.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16392" CreationDate="2014-10-31T17:19:33.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few things to keep in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids go through phases of who they like 'the most'. That is normal, and you have to accept it. I can be hard - but it doesn't mean they don't like you at all. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your wife might see more crying since she is with him for more hours. (It sounds like she stays home with him)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It can also be that your wife is correcting him when he gets into things he shouldn't, making him take his naps, and with you he mostly plays? I don't know if this is happening, but by 1 most babies start having 'wants' where we as parents have to say no. It makes sense that the more time you spend with the baby, the more you are the one who says 'no'.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He could be clinging more to you because he misses, you he doesn't miss his mom. Separation anxiety as you mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds normal to me, but of course it depends on the degrees to which it is happening. For this, I think you could make sure to spend some time with your kid without your wife, so he 'misses' her. Maybe she can go to lunch with friends, and then a movie on the weekend, or something else she might think is fun. Even if my boy prefers his dad, whenever I go away for some time, I get a big hug and smile when I get back, because of course he loves me too. &#xA;In addition, your son might miss you less if he sees you more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the food thing is different and might be suited for a different topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You might double check if you cut up his food in smaller/bigger pieces than your wife, and he prefers one.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I noticed that my kids had less appetites for solids, and more for milk whenever they were teething. I don't know if this is normal :).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He might be trying to play with you, or get attention instead of eating so he has a hard time focusing when you look at him. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Or he might really want to be held, so that is the only thing he focuses on when he sees you. Have you tried having him sit on you lap while he eats (not a long term solution, but it might help in the short term)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T17:19:33.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16420" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16514" CreationDate="2014-10-31T17:51:06.227" Score="2" ViewCount="239" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is quite sociable and plays with other kids, when either of us (father or mother) or either his grand-dad or grand-mom is near him or in the vicinity of the play area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when we are not around (parents\grandparents), then he becomes an introvert (at school, at daycare). He does not talk to other kids or play with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teachers and other kids have told us that he is quite shy and does not talk with anybody at school or the daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering why he displays this behavior? Is there anything I can do to help him overcome this behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11381" LastEditorUserId="11381" LastEditDate="2014-11-01T13:23:16.670" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T01:12:21.700" Title="4 years and 9 month old is shy when away from parents or grandparents" Tags="|pre-schooler|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16396" CreationDate="2014-10-31T18:19:28.133" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest child was 4 the first time she went trick or treating. When she was 3, she stayed in with me and gave out the candy. She got the leftovers from the bowl when it is over. That was enough excitement for her and got her used to the idea. The next year, she went out with her younger brother (with Dad as escort).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never took my kids into those specialty Halloween stores, which are too scary even for me. It's enough to say, &quot;Kids dress up; get candy.&quot; They usually take things in stride at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children tend not to go with the scariness of H'een, I've noticed. They usually dress up as something they would like to be --  a princess or a superhero.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11382" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T18:19:28.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16396" CreationDate="2014-10-31T20:11:09.007" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;my style has been to explain that there's really no such thing as ghosts or monsters, they're just stories and toys&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're already doing it right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My wife's preference is to not even bother with theory, and just frame things in practical ways he understands: &quot;The ghost lives in the shop with his ghost friends. It doesn't like sunlight and it's not going to come to our home.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The two of you need to get your stories straight - you need to agree an approach with each other. Just for you to flatly contradict one another is going to confuse him and potentially make things more scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might help for you to talk it over with him in more detail. You might have to repeat the same message in different forms over a bunch of different occasions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Some people like to tell scary stories, but that doesn't mean they're real.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;If you don't like that kind of story, I won't tell you any of them. That's ok.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;That's just pretend. Those people are dressing up to play a game.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;We're not afraid of pretend XYZ's, are we? Let's practise telling them to go away: GO AWAY, SILLY POO-POO XYZ's!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As in that last example, you can combine your approach (they're just fiction) with your wife's approach (within-story reasons why the scary things aren't a threat) by making up stories together with him - and emphasising that you're making up a story together and it's all just pretend and so on - and in the stories the ghosts are totally un-threatening: you and him together call them rude names (toilet humour is good here, because humour will make him less scared, and nothing is more humorous to a 3-year-old than bodily functions) and &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; run away scared of &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;. And then emphasising at the end that the whole thing is just a silly story and they don't exist and aren't real. That kind of approach can help him find the courage to not-be-scared even of things which he knows aren't real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've found these useful:&lt;br&gt;&#xA; - &lt;a href=&quot;http://ttte.wikia.com/wiki/Halloween&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Thomas &amp;amp; Friends&quot; episode on Halloween&lt;/a&gt; (book and TV episode both available),&lt;br&gt;&#xA; - &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/014240621X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Angelina's Halloween&lt;/a&gt; (be warned - extremely charming illustrations).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Draw out his fears.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Encourage him to talk about the imaginary monster and ask him to draw a picture of what he thinks the monster looks like. This way you respect his feelings and convey that you empathize with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't chase the monster away.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;An oft-advised fearbuster is for parent and child to walk into the bedroom, look under the bed and in the closet, and &quot;chase the monster out of the bedroom.&quot; Not only is this downright dishonest, but all it does is reinforce to your child that there really is a monster in his bedroom—which might make matters worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tell the truth.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Emphasize to your child that monsters are only pretend characters on TV or in storybooks. It's a parent's job to help her child separate real from imaginary characters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-mashing-monster-fears&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-mashing-monster-fears&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If trick-or-treaters are a problem, I'd just send him off to bed early so he doesn't see them. Or if they come round too early for that, sit with him (in a room upstairs or at the back of the house) for an extra buch of stories or a movie or some kind of positive-attention activity you can do together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;if they're not real, why are you telling them to go away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;:) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it sounds contradictory, but you really can marry up the two approaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To explain in a bit more detail: Telling them the truth (that the ghosts don't exist) is great intellectually but doesn't really deal with the emotional side of the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you just say &quot;they're not real&quot; and then end the conversation at that - then it leaves the kid (potentially) still feeling scared. Even if they've believed you and they have truly internalised the fact that ghosts aren't real, they can &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; feel scared of them - in spite of knowing that they're not real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually this is true of adults as well - plenty of adults feel scared of things which (intellectually) they know are really no threat to them at all - e.g. horror movies. With adults of course it's the &quot;willing suspension of disbelief&quot;, but children (particularly small children) just have less control over their feelings in relation to stories. But it's not really very different from an adult identifying with the hero and disliking the villain in an action movie. Stories wouldn't be any fun if we weren't capable of responding emotionally to things which we know aren't real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The disadvantage of the truth-telling approach is that it doesn't allow you to really acknowledge the child's fear and allow them to work through it with you. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The disadvantage of the &quot;I'll chase away the ghost&quot; approach is that it can give the message that ghosts &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; real.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Combining the two: while sticking with the fact that &lt;em&gt;ghosts aren't real&lt;/em&gt; - you can allow the child to work through their fears by telling them stories in which the ghosts are ridiculous (and not scary at all) and the child and the parent work together to scare or humiliate the ghosts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your comment was that this seems inconsistent: if they're not real, then why are we telling them to go away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is that we're &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; &quot;telling them to go away&quot; in real life, as a technique for dealing with a real-life danger (in the way that crossing the road at the pedestrian crossing is a technique for dealing with the real-life danger of traffic). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather, we're &quot;telling them to go away&quot; &lt;em&gt;within a story&lt;/em&gt; (and being very clear that it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; just a story) in which the imaginary, fictional ghosts are:&lt;br&gt;&#xA; - unthreatening, and&lt;br&gt;&#xA; - easily defeated by the child with a bit of help from mum/dad.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So that gives the child a chance to work through some of the emotional impact of the ghosts, which an un-elaborated &quot;ghosts aren't real&quot; doesn't give them the chance to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also allows the child a chance to practise (with a parent) what they can say to themselves if (in the middle of the night) the ghosts start to seem real to them again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Acknowledge the fear&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Let them know it’s normal to have fears&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Be reassuring&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be playful&lt;/strong&gt; in your approach to managing fears&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try to empower the child through positive imaginings or fantasies&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Create pleasant associations&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Applaud bravery&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;In new situations remind them about how they managed to overcome a fear last time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentline.org.au/useful-information/read-parent-stories/toddler-fears&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Toddler Fears&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, Parentline Australia&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;^ The bold sections there (emphasis mine) are what I'm talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At any age, break the challenge into small steps, says Chanksy. She suggests tackling that big, dark cave of a closet by turning it into something fun and positive. &quot;By &lt;strong&gt;creating a competing emotion&lt;/strong&gt;,&quot; she says, &quot;you help burn out the anxiety.&quot; Be creative, says Chansky: Go into the dark and read a book by flashlight. Make five goofy faces, and get out right away. Play 20 questions. This all gets your child into a different frame of mind. Practice often, for the best results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/children/features/childhood-fears-anxieties?page=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Childhood Fears and Anxieties&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, WebMD&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &quot;creating a competing emotion&quot; can work really well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm trying to say is that telling them the truth (ghosts not real) is necessary but not sufficient. The child needs to work through the emotional component of their fear, which doesn't just go away when they realise that the fear is not founded in fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to help them work through that emotion is to tell stories together with your child, in which:&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;positive emotions and associations (such as laughter and parental closeness and support) replace negative ones,&lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child exerts control and dominance over the fictional object of their fear, e.g. by scaring it or calling it rude names.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-11-01T19:07:29.453" LastActivityDate="2014-11-01T19:07:29.453" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16415" CreationDate="2014-10-31T20:35:29.193" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not medical advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) rule out other factors.  Make sure he does not have thyroid problems, sleep apnea, drug or alcohol misuse problems, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) explain that you are supporting him during his time of illness but that you expect certain behaviours in return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;i) he must try to maintain sleep hygiene where possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ii) he must work hard to help you when he is awake&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) he should probably ask his doctor to write a letter with the diagnosis.  That might help with disability?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) he should consider not driving.  That may cause him considerable hardship.  In England he could use his doctor's letter to get a bus pass that gives him free transport on buses and reduced costs for trains and coaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you need to find support for you whilst also recognising that he has a real illness -he's not faking this- and it's going to have significant impact on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypersomnia/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypersomnia/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T20:35:29.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16396" CreationDate="2014-10-31T20:57:52.447" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our six year old daughter put on a Darth Vader costume, with mask, early in the month, and it completely freaked our two year old son out.  She'd lift the mask up and he'd be fine, she'd put it down and he'd freak out again.  We talked about how it was really her under there, and she was just pretending, but he had none of it.  After a few minutes of this, we asked our daughter to remove the mask, and that was the end of that drama.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until she put it on again the next night.  Same routine, but perhaps a little less freaking out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't really know how many nights this went on, one or two more maybe, but he finally figured it out and had no more issue with her wearing the mask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been a few weeks since all that went down, and I fully expect him to get nervous or freak out if we come to a house that has some startling noise, or scary costume.  But just keep repeating the same thing, your child will eventually get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no problem, by the way, of the dual approach taken by you and your wife.  My daughter is well aware that the creepy things she sometimes fears in the night aren't real, and I always reinforce that when I come to console her, but then I chase the things away, and talk to her about how she would protect herself if some scary monster really did show up.  I rarely have to spend more than 5 minutes getting her in a good place to go to sleep, and it rarely comes back up that night.  It's been this way since she was your child's age.  Tell them what's real, and then deal with the fear on its own terms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11193" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T20:57:52.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16415" CreationDate="2014-10-31T21:38:26.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a different sleep disorder.  It doesn't prevent me from working, but it causes a lot of sick days sometimes.  In order to feel my best, I have to sleep 11-12 hours on weeknights and 14-16 on weekends, which means I often don't have a lot of time for anything other than work.  Either that, or I am tired all day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me put it this way.  Sleep seems like a luxury when you get a normal amount of it.  When it occupies every spare moment, there is nothing luxurious about it.  It's depressing, it's boring, and there are a gazillion things I'd rather be doing, but I can't.  Fake sleeping would be even more boring.  If you're going to fake a disability, there are a lot of better choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also know what it feels like to have a child who will probably always be dependent on you.  My 10 year-old daughter has cerebral palsy.  That condition has a wide range of outcomes.  Some people you can barely tell they have it, and some are utterly dependent on others for their care.  It was hard when we started to realize she was going to be in the latter category.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is to help him live up to his potential, even if his potential isn't what you once thought it was.  Look at your issues and see if there's another way you can meet those needs.  Perhaps moving to a house where both of you could have more privacy could be an option, maybe closer to public transportation.  There are online degree programs where you can watch a video and complete at your own pace.  There are jobs like medical transcriptioning that you can do at home and get paid by whatever you finish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, there is middle ground between the way you wish things were and the way they are now.  Try to find it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T21:38:26.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-10-31T22:11:25.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I appreciate you posting this. I have younger kids but this situation is definitely a fear of mine as a parent. I don't have the answer but it's obvious you love your son and are proud of him going to uni. Maybe you picked the path of Nurture vs. Nature and figured he would get a job if he needed it, and you don't want to push him away from uni to get a job. It makes sense. I don't think you can make him get a job if he doesn't want to. You can only show him the best/easiest way. He will be motivated when he has the proper motivation and it's not your job to motivate him and push him down his path. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11281" LastActivityDate="2014-10-31T22:11:25.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-11-01T02:15:07.193" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;[Note: I am not a parent, the below is based on my personal experience working my way through school while jealous of my peers whose parents did not make them get jobs during the semesters or summers, and now watching the experiences of my nieces in a very different world.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't taught your son how to cook meals for the family or do laundry, now is the time, before he moves out and has to learn these things without help. Don't frame it as making him do work around the house, frame it as &quot;this is part of your personal education we realize we have neglected.&quot;  (For example, it is MUCH harder to make ends meet on an entry-level salary if you don't know how to cook tasty (or at least edible) meals from cheap ingredients.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that jobs are much harder to find for young people these days than when their parents were similar ages, but there may be work he can find through his University -- student jobs on campus, unpaid internships in his field of study, work-study arrangements (i.e. interleaving semesters of study with semesters of related work.) It's not necessary that he find a job at all related to his fields of interest -- having had a job, any job at all, will set him apart from his peers when it comes time to look for a &quot;real&quot; job, and having good references from his supervisor or co-workers will help even more.  Even volunteer work will get him out of the house, meeting people, and learning practical skills that he can highlight on his resume. The problem is that, in many places, jobs are in such short supply that the effort of looking for them does not seem worth the likely payoff. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he spent his student loan on a holiday and is now broke, then I'm sure he is aware that a job would help him have a better time (even if it's just money to buy more video games.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you have to co-sign for his student loan?  If so, you may want to put conditions on his behavior before co-signing the next installment.  (It is also possible that his academic progress may be slow enough that he will find it more difficult to get future loans, although in my country that is rare, as the government guarantees them even at low-quality institutions.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Demanding rent while he has no ability to pay it may backfire - what will you do if you set an ultimatum and he is unable to comply? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you may want to do is approach the situation backwards -- what kind of job does your son want to get when he graduates, and what kind of experience does he need to have to make himself attractive to an employer?  (If his course of study does not lead naturally to any sort of job then you have another problem on your hands -- these days a university education is far too expensive to undertake just for self-improvement.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These days a lot of university graduates have trouble finding a job in their field or any job at all, many parents are dealing with &quot;failure to launch&quot;, but if your son sits in his room playing video games all day you may have a deeper problem than usual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11391" LastActivityDate="2014-11-01T02:15:07.193" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16396" CreationDate="2014-11-01T05:38:27.043" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler is much younger, but I still take similar approach of explaining things to him. I try to explain everything I can to him (at this stage, it's helping to expand his vocabulary and understand of language.) &#xA;I always try to explain things to children in a context they can understand, without condescending to them because of their age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You offered:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;True to my engineer nature, my style has been to explain that there's really no such thing as ghosts or monsters, they're just stories and toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For sounds and objects that upset my son, I would word it this way:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You're okay. It's just a &quot;balloon&quot;. Substitute &quot;balloon&quot; with whatever the issue is. It's a toy, it's a car/truck (loud noises). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he remains agitated, I will try to remove us from the situation without emphasizing the source of agitation. Instead of &quot;Okay, we'll get away from [that]&quot; I'll try &quot;Oh, do you see [that] over there? Let's go look at [that]&quot;. I ignore the object, because I've already explained it to him just like I would explain a normal object. Then use distraction. My disinterest in the [balloon] shows him that the [balloon] isn't something to perceive differently than other objects. By pointing out something else to him, I effectively change the subject and engage with him on his level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, onto the main question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explaining the wide variety of costumes and Halloween stuff in 3-year old terms can be difficult, even more so if you're trying to explain too much. While we, as adults, understand that the costumes, many visitors to the house, and the candy-giving are all related to the overarching Halloween celebration, it's not necessary for a young child to grasp that gestalt in one go. I would explain it to him in steps as the situations present themselves:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When buying candy to give out, explain &quot;We're buying Halloween candy.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When asking what Halloween is, explain it's a holiday, like Christmas/Birthday/anything he's familiar with, or just a special day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When handing out or receiving candy, occasionally comment on it being Halloween candy. &quot;Here's your Halloween candy&quot; &quot;Say thank you for the Halloween candy&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Relate the concepts of individual costumes into simplified generics, especially if your child is not familiar with the specific characters. Comic/movie/video game characters can all become &quot;super heroes&quot; like Superman or Spider-man. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain what costumes/decorations are in terms of Halloween. &quot;Halloween clothes.&quot; &quot;Halloween costumes.&quot; &quot;Halloween decorations.&quot; &quot;Pumpkins for Halloween.&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trend in these points is repetition. If your desire is to teach a young child about such a big concept, it'll have to be done in many, many small doses. Frequently referring to Halloween-related stuff as &quot;Halloween [stuff]&quot; instead of just &quot;[stuff]&quot; helps the child to distinguish everyday [stuff] from this specific type of [stuff]. The same applies for other occasions: &lt;em&gt;Birthday&lt;/em&gt; cake. &lt;em&gt;Christmas&lt;/em&gt; presents. &lt;em&gt;Play&lt;/em&gt; clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually (if not this year), the concept of Halloween in general will mesh as all the individual explanations come together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explaining all of this to your child is hypothetically easier if he's been exposed to more books, TV shows and movies. lEven G-rated movies have scary elements. Monster's University has monsters, Toy Story 3 has monster-like toys and aliens, Wall-E has robots. Additionally, many children's programs have Halloween-themed episodes where the characters dress up. My son can tell that Jake (the Neverland Pirate) is still Jake, even though in one episode he dressed as a werewolf, and in another he dressed as Peter Pan. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-01T05:38:27.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-11-01T13:27:26.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like @anongoodnurses answer. It goes into good detail, but I kind of skimmed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My shorter and blunter answer is, you are enabling him quite a bit. No charging of room and board, cooking his meals, providing for his needs. Hey, if I had that kind of situation, where would be the motivation for me to get out and take responsibility for myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a tough job being a parent and part of it means knowing when to start with the &lt;em&gt;tough love&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A famous talk radio personality psychologist (Dr. Joy Brown) used to always suggest telling them you will pay for their first months rent in a new place, but it's time for them to get on with living on their own. You give them a full month (or maybe two if you must), help them get somewhat set up and then say, &quot;You have to learn how to fly on your own. Next month and the months after that are on you.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's smart, and capable, he will figure it out, and you'll both be happier for it in the end. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck. If it starts to feel awful to you, hang in there. It's not usually easy, but don't give in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="343" LastActivityDate="2014-11-01T13:27:26.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12072" CreationDate="2014-11-01T15:17:54.343" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, your daughter is still great. The worth of a child is not measured by their behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't address the peeing with the information provided. Is she potty trained already? Is she in Pull-Ups? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's refusing to obey you, for whatever reason, I have a hard time believing it's the first time. Regardless, the solution is discipline. If she won't pick up her toys, for example, then there should be an immediate negative consequence. Such  a consequence as a timeout, turning off the TV if it's on, removing whatever else she is playing with until the job is done, etc. Likewise, positive encouragement should be used simultaneously. &quot;Please pick up your toys from the floor so I have room to sit down and play with you/read you a book.&quot; Ideally, the positive encouragement is all you'll need, supposing the incentive matches your daughter's interests. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often, children will exhibit behavior they know we don't approve of simply because it's the only way they can consistently get our attention. Give her more attention, spend more time on her level (including physically getting down to her height), and direct her to the behavior you want &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; her (and not as someone giving commands &lt;em&gt;at&lt;/em&gt; her). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-01T15:17:54.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16404" CreationDate="2014-11-02T04:51:53.797" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I applaud your intention.  Please note that my answer here does not take into account what may be appropriate in your culture as I am not familiar with its norms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First to consider is that she is your step daughter.  My experience being a step child is that the step parent has no where near the same respect as the biological parent.  Working with her father is fundamental to a solution and not creating a battle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teaching a child (or anyone else for that matter) that &quot;&lt;strong&gt;a particular thing&lt;/strong&gt; is normal or acceptable&quot; is not as helpful as teaching a more global viewpoint.  First, that thing may not be normal nor acceptable (in some cultures this is quite true of homosexuality).  Second, they don't learn to treat people based on the &quot;content of their character&quot; (quoting Martin Luther King Jr.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our initial reaction(s) to seeing something may not always be the reaction we will have in the future.  And, as the saying goes, we fear what we do not know.  To overcome this, we need to look at the issue in greater depth -- I research both the pro &amp;amp; con sides to all issues, chat with friends, and try to look at all the various facets of an issue before coming to a decision... one cannot simply read an article on any website and feel that they &quot;know&quot; the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully those points of discussion will help.  When it is all said and done, though, she will end up deciding her view for herself.  Whether you agree or disagree, you will have done what you can to help guide her into a critical thinking role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just please remember that &quot;force and mind are opposites&quot; (quoting Ayn Rand) -- if you try to force her to think a way, her view will not change on the subject and will likely harden as a reaction to the attempted force.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-11-02T04:51:53.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-11-02T15:05:10.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in a similar position as your son not too many years ago. I think what it comes down to is that &lt;strong&gt;he needs to move out&lt;/strong&gt;, more so for his own sake than yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents may not realize it, but it's very difficult for your children to become independent when they live at home. Everything is done for them and they're treated like children. Moving out at 17 (when I was off to uni) was one of the best things I ever did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I visit home or my in-laws, we become &quot;lazy&quot; while we're there. It's a completely different environment, and not a very healthy one in my opinion. For example, there's no desk at my in-laws, the television is always on, we're always expected to socialize, when we try to get work done on our laptops they think we're &quot;playing on our computers&quot;. They tell us to go to bed and to wake up, they cook for us, we have to eat supper with them as soon as it's ready, and so on. It's like we're children again with no responsibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think that him getting a job at 20 is what you should be worried about, instead you should be worried about giving him his independence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9129" LastActivityDate="2014-11-02T15:05:10.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16440" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16442" CreationDate="2014-11-02T15:40:47.247" Score="18" ViewCount="7735" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has an older brother (8yrs old) so when we all play together we tend to do older boy things. Does anybody (especially women) have any memorable games/activities they played with Dad? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few I have tried: Tea Party, Doll House, Puzzle, Painting, Coloring &amp;amp; Gluing, Playing Ball. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking for other ideas...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11281" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T15:59:02.220" Title="Some games and playful ideas for a father to do with his 4 year old daughter?" Tags="|pre-schooler|activities|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16440" CreationDate="2014-11-02T16:45:46.503" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I'm not keen on the idea that there &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; one set of activities which are suitable for girls and a different set of activities which are suitable for boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to give my daughters the idea that they can be engineers, scientists, astronauts or dragon-tamers (ok, maybe lion-tamers) if they want to be when they grow up, and not limit their options to female-stereotype careers such as beautician or manicurist. So I try to give them opportunities to play in ways that in the 1950's would have been considered 'boyish' - and then it's up to them what they actually choose (and it's ok with me whether they choose to play with trains or play with dolls) .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Kids should decide for themselves what they think is fun. Why put these limits on play?&lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Play matters. Children need a wide range of play to develop different skills. ... &lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The real world  has moved on. These gender stereotypes are tired and out of date.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lettoysbetoys.org.uk/why-it-matters/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Let Toys Be Toys - For Girls And Boys: Why It Matters&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the obvious answer is to say that you should do with her whatever things you did with your son at that age. But I realise that's not necessarily a helpful answer! So - some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Activities related to things she's interested in&lt;br&gt; With one of our daughters that was ballet and drama, with our other daughter it was steam trains and racing cars. Either way is good.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Activities relating to things that &lt;em&gt;you're&lt;/em&gt; interested in.&lt;br&gt; It's really fun sharing an adult interest with a small child - if you have an enthusiasm then it can really rub off on them. If your particular enthusiasm is for an activity which is traditionally male-dominated then don't let that stop you from sharing it with your daughter; perhaps she'll become a world-champion boxer or a superstar programmer - or maybe not, but either way you'll both enjoy sharing an activity together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Dinosaurs. Everybody loves dinosaurs. :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So once you've got some kind of a subject or topic, the actual activities that you do (based on that topic) could be almost anything:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Junk modelling (this is particularly fun if you do it &lt;strong&gt;really big&lt;/strong&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Painting and drawing&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Role-play type playing (&quot;you be a racing car and I'll be the other racing car!&quot;) - can be with or without dressing-up&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cooking (dinosaur biscuits! space rocket biscuits! ballet shoes biscuits!)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Making costumes for dressing-up (cardboard and sticky tape are good for this, you don't have to sew)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Playing with 'small world' toys (ones that represent objects in the adult world e.g. toy cars or dolls)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Building with construction toys such as Lego&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Playing running-around games (&quot;you're the T Rex and we're the stegosauruses and you have to catch us and then we'll swap around!&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Making up stories together&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reading stories relating to the subject together&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reading non-fiction children's books about the subject together&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Going to an event or show e.g. a sports fixture or a ballet performance&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Board games and similar e.g. Dino-opoly, Top Trumps (they have TT for practically everything now), jigsaw puzzles, etc etc&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Going to a relevant museum e.g. for cars we've been to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brooklandsmuseum.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Brooklands&lt;/a&gt;, for ballet/performance we've been to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vam.ac.uk/page/t/theatre-and-performance/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Theatre and Performance gallery of the V&amp;amp;A&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Watching relevant movies or TV shows together (not too much)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there's other things that everyone does with kids which aren't themed but are equally suitable for either gender: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;going to the playground, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;playing on the climbing frame, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;climbing a tree, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;playing chess, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;feeding the ducks, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;playing snakes and ladders,&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;teaching them to ride a bike,&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;teaching them to swim,&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;learning ball skills (throw / catch / hit with bat). &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetherball&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Swingball&lt;/a&gt; is particularly good for this because when they hit the ball in a random direction it doesn't matter,&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;going to interesting places e.g. zoo, cathedral, airport.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It depends on the individual child and their preferences. What does she like doing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the background research on play, careers and gender, for those who are interested:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Interestingly Flouri and Panourgia (2012) in a study of the career aspirations of seven-year-&#xA;  olds found that at this age they were very ambitious with over 80% showing preferences to&#xA;  be managers, professionals or associate professional, however, both the boys and girls had&#xA;  preferences for traditional gender-stereotyped occupations e.g. &lt;strong&gt;girls said they wanted to be&#xA;  a hairdresser or a teacher and boys chose fire fighter and police officer&lt;/strong&gt;. In addition, they&#xA;  could not be considered realistic, with the most popular choices being teacher, hairdresser,&#xA;  sports player, fire fighter, police officer, scientist, artist, actor/entertainer, animal carer, vet,&#xA;  doctor and builder. Similar findings were established by Butler (2005) who looked at the&#xA;  career aspirations of primary school children in Wales and found that the young people had&#xA;  ideas about career from age six but that they were both un-realistic and gender-stereotyped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Beck et al.(2006) argued that choices made at&#xA;  an early stage in young people's lives have considerable influence on an individual's career&#xA;  trajectory, often resulting in a reinforcement of labour market segregation. This was based&#xA;  on findings demonstrating that young people generally have a conservative approach to&#xA;  labour market possibilities which leads them to conform to stereotypical notions of what men&#xA;  and women do. This view was also represented in guidance from Estyn (2008) which argues&#xA;  that both girls and boys often make stereotypical choices of options and subjects at all&#xA;  stages and girls tend to leave school with lower career aspirations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.agilenation.co.uk/downloads/Research/Gendered_Horizons_Report.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Gendered Horizons: Boys’ and girls’ perceptions of job and career choices&lt;/a&gt;, pp. 10-11. See the full report for more detail. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pinkstinks.org.uk/cgblog/36/25/Makeup-for-Babies.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;'s a rundown of gendered toys for very small children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Notice how the girls’ items direct and confine a girl’s attention inward towards herself, whilst the boys’ items direct the boys’ attention outward towards his physical world, where there are limitless possibilities. &lt;strong&gt;The tool box lays the foundations for boys’ greater spatial awareness and understanding of physics&lt;/strong&gt; (i.e. how objects interact with one another). It encourages movement and coordination. &lt;strong&gt;The toiletry box on the other hand, teaches girls that they can (and indeed should) focus all their efforts on boosting their attractiveness.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;tl;dr: Boys get tools, girls get beauty products.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pinkstinks.org.uk/cgblog/36/25/Makeup-for-Babies.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;PinkStinks: Makeup for babies&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some really sweet examples of gender-neutral play, check out the twitter feeds for &lt;a href=&quot;https://storify.com/LetToysBeToys/activegirls&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;#activegirls&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://storify.com/LetToysBeToys/caringboys&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;#caringboys&lt;/a&gt;:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/NE6Pk.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Twitter: matt compton: @LetToysBeToys my daughter defying stereotypes &quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://twitter.com/HX7/status/471184947450249216/photo/1&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://twitter.com/HX7/status/471184947450249216/photo/1&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/XUfcd.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Twitter: Kerry Morgan: Aww. My boy babywearing his bear again #socute #caringboys &quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://twitter.com/kerrym79/status/479186766084472833/photo/1&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://twitter.com/kerrym79/status/479186766084472833/photo/1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/report-full.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Report of the American Psychological Association Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls&lt;/a&gt; is also worth a read:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Research suggests that parents’ gender schemas have a&#xA;  significant effect on children’s gender self-concepts and&#xA;  gender-related attitudes toward others (Tenenbaum &amp;amp;&#xA;  Leaper, 2002). &lt;strong&gt;Fathers’ attitudes in particular influence the&#xA;  gender typing of children’s activities&lt;/strong&gt; and whether children&#xA;  conform to this gender typing (McHale, Crouter, &amp;amp;&#xA;  Tucker, 1999).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-11-03T18:42:46.910" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T18:42:46.910" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16414" CreationDate="2014-11-02T23:35:45.770" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have several boys and girls of wildly varying age. When we had our first child my wife and I thought that differences based on gender are all due to the environment, and that we would never let this happen to our children. Now, several children later, I laugh at this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things that set my boys apart from my girls is that the girls consistently act responsibly at a much earlier age than the boys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A five year old girl realizing on her own it's cold and she should get other clothes from the wardrobe seems a year or two younger than my girls started to deal with them on their own, but I could very well imagine this. Contrary to this, none of my boys were very well in this at the age of seven. In fact, they probably weren't at nine or even ten. (OTOH, the child currently making the most fuzz about what to wear is my teenage boy. To him, this is at least as important as for his older sister. So this &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; improve.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I work hard at handing responsibilities for their life to my children as early as possible, and I let them do and decide things at an age where others just shake their heads about me. But this ultimately depends on the child, and there are huge differences between boys and girls, but also between different boys or girls. One child would make a train journey alone at the age of 8, another only at 11. One child stayed home alone with two younger siblings to care for at 14, another did that at 11. (Just to counter my own argument: the latter was a boy.) I left the decision when to turn off the light, stop reading, and go to sleep to some of my children at the age of 11, but I seriously doubt that I can do this with the child that is currently approaching this age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You see where this is going: No two children are alike. (In fact, I often say that the one thing that all of my children have in common is that they all have very different personalities.) I am all for encouraging children to be more responsible, but which decisions, tasks, etc. are left to them at what age is a highly individual decision that depends mostly on the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how do you actively &lt;em&gt;encourage&lt;/em&gt; independence? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found that this starts &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; early, by not simply making decisions for a child, but involving it in the decision-making, explaining the reasons why you would decide the way you do, and being open for suggestions from the child. This absolutely includes letting the child make mistakes, even when they hurt a bit. (I don't see my task in preventing my children from every possible hurt, getting scratches and bruises. I see my task in preventing them from permanent harm. This has the advantage that my children know from experience that what I suggest is often what they should do, and thus follow my council voluntarily. In fact, the best way to end a discussion whether the warmer jacket should be worn to school is to say produce my arguments, and when they don't give in, to say I am fine with it, I said my piece, and they can do what they want. Left to their own device, they usually follow my advice.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you try to always do this, then it comes rather natural (for both sides involved) to let the child have more and more influence on the decisions made when it gets older and acquires a firmer grip on how the world works. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your example this approach might involve talking with your son about what to wear (and why) every day. For me, there's many things that influence such a decision (whether, expected activities, what's currently in the laundry or should go there, and whatnot), so it's rather complex for a child. However, constantly being involved in juggling those factors eventually teaches juggling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long that takes, however... &lt;em&gt;see above&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-11-03T22:03:25.147" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T22:03:25.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16414" CreationDate="2014-11-03T00:28:38.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found the best way to foster independence was to give independence. We gave our kids the chance to make their own decisions independent of us by leaving them as often as possible. Birthday parties? The parents of the birthday boy will be there supervising, so we'd leave. Soccer? The coach is there, and he probably doesn't want parents coaching from the sidelines. After-school care is free in our district . . . leave them to fit into their own social world after school rather than picking them up immediately. They will act age-appropriate if they are in a group that's acting age-appropriate. (If you move this direction, do be on time every time to pick them up. Pushing your kids out of the nest a bit shouldn't burden others.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as they're safe, they don't need you there all the time. Whether they want you there or not, sometimes they need you to be elsewhere, and for longer periods as they grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T00:28:38.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16440" CreationDate="2014-11-03T00:51:42.563" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cook! Every kid should learn how. Start with pancakes (not a mix . . . make it from scratch!) If she's on the high side of four and you have an electric griddle, she could probably flip them with practice and you right there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time you repair something have her assist. My youngest daughter could replace a doorknob/lock set when she was seven because she worked with me around the house as soon as she could readily follow simple directions and pick up vocabulary like &quot;screwdriver&quot;. She doesn't get her license for a few months, but she can change the oil and a tire, and she has the confidence to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.monarch-butterfly.com/butterfly-kits-for-children.html&quot;&gt;Raise butterflies&lt;/a&gt;. Take pictures every day, and make a wall-sized calendar to track their development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're musical (or want to be), &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0piM1L3a9Rc&quot;&gt;get a couple of ukuleles and learn together&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try &lt;strong&gt;everything&lt;/strong&gt;, and she'll let you know what she wants to do more of with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-11-03T03:04:21.323" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T03:04:21.323" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16450" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-03T03:23:31.780" Score="3" ViewCount="3495" Body="&lt;p&gt;We frequently travel in the car at night, and booster seats aren't comfortable for kids to sleep in.  We've tried pillows on either side of their heads but this doesn't help when they fall asleep and heads slump forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also tried a C-shaped pillow that supports the head on either side, but it has padding behind the neck as well, and this promotes slumping forward, eventually defeating any comfort by the side padding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for any tricks or products which make booster seats comfortable to sleep in, including addressing the slumping-forward problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11419" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T20:36:34.140" Title="Sleep in booster seats" Tags="|sleep|travel|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16451" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-03T03:55:03.880" Score="15" ViewCount="3315" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost 1 and for various reasons outside the scope of this question, I like putting on TV shows that she'll watch on and off while she's playing. My current options are things available on Netflix and Youtube but I'm open to other subscription services as long as they're ad-free and reasonably priced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, everything I've found so far is pretty disappointing from a gender and race standpoint, even PBS shows which I thought would be above average and designed with these sorts of issues in mind. Here are some examples from things I've found:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Super Why: Despite there being 4 super readers, the white male is clearly the hero and the girls are more like sidekicks. There's only one person of color and she's even less of a main hero.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Barney: Not too bad on gender, aside from the central character and source of knowledge being male(ish). There's not really much of a power dynamic at all between the kids. Having the girl dinosaur be the baby who's always having to learn from others is a bit imbalanced, and there are certain activities like &quot;playing house&quot; that seem to be presented as &quot;girly&quot; (initiated by girls), but it's all pretty mild. Some of the &quot;diversity&quot; and &quot;sharing culture&quot; come across more as racial caricatures than egalitarian.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sesame Street: Old classic episodes definitely reinforce gender role stereotypes. And there's a big gender imbalance in the characters (almost all male). I haven't really found enough episodes online yet to get a general feel though.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any good shows for kids my daughter's age that normalize girls being center-stage and assertive rather than deferring to the boys (and especially white ones) taking up all the space? I'm sure she'll get shown the latter plenty in real life if/when she goes to day care or preschool and later in school, but when that happens I hope it will come across as abnormal and objectionable rather than just a reinforcement of what she's seen on TV up to then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've already looked at other questions about TV such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2273/what-tv-shows-are-wholesome-for-primary-schoolers&quot;&gt;What TV shows are wholesome for primary-schoolers?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But didn't find anything specifically about gender and race issues in children's TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9837" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2018-09-19T13:28:23.333" Title="TV shows for toddlers that don't teach bad gender and race dynamics" Tags="|television|gender|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16392" CreationDate="2014-11-03T09:32:38.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;To add to Ida's answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had the random luck to talk to someone who is a psychologist and she explained the &quot;way he thinks&quot; about me leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's got used to me leaving for long periods so now every time I leave he thinks it will be &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; long&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He thinks that if he clings to me, I can't leave without him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whereas its extremely rare for mum to leave, sometimes I take him away for long periods but rarely do I stay at home with him while mum leaves. So we will definitely try Ida's suggestion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The food appears to be a mixture of things that are separate to the separation anxiety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is definitely teething at the moment (so sometimes its painful)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His tastes are also clearly changing (he seems bored of his old favorites)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He wants to eat what we are eating&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solutions to these issues&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he seems happy to eat but cries when he starts to chew, teething gel / calpol, and wait 10-15 minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We have tried a whole new batch of baby food recipes ( I will try and find the links)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We eat what he eats&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is allergic to milk, so we were making him something different to us. But this week we have been making the baby food recipes and eating it ourselves (beef stew / soya carbonara) and this has made the world of difference. He sees us eating what hes eating and gets dead excited :)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its strange because originally when we tried baby lead weaning and him eating what we eat. It didn't work very well, I think this was because he still wanted &quot;plain things&quot; like mash and toast, as well as plain meats, chicken, sausage. But now he has grown out of that phase. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just goes to show that sometimes a certain technique might only work a certain month :p &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11361" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T09:32:38.570" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2014-11-03T09:59:52.793" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think we are spoiled in the UK as we have some great programming available. If you can find them, here are some to watch out for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Balamory - Lead is a scottish lady and there are diverse characters included from other races and also disabled characters (another thing i like about our shows).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something Special - there is one main guy in it but he works with kids with disabilities of various races and encourages sign language as part of the show.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swashbucklers - kids help get treasure back from pirates&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Waybuloo - 4 odd floaty creatures do things like yoga and play with children of various races&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9502" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T09:59:52.793" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16440" CreationDate="2014-11-03T16:27:35.370" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 4 years old, your daughter should be firmly out of the 'toddler' phase and into the &quot;walking/running child&quot; phase.  They should also probably be potty-trained by this point, and their fine motor skills should be fairly well-developed.  They're also bigger and a little sturdier than they were before. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this is great, because it greatly expands the number of things you can do with your daughter during playtime.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Naturally if you're going to get toys for her to play with, make sure the toys are child-age appropriate.  Sadly, some LEGO sets might still be out of her age range due to the choking hazard, but you can always check the box (and of course judge your own child's readiness) to see if they're appropriate for your child.  You've got an advantage here in that you're looking to play &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; her, so any toy you feel might be a borderline-case safety concern you can supervise personally.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the suggestions already made are good - and the ones you've already listed as your activities with your child are also very good.  As long as you're careful with the age-appropriateness of the toys you let her play with, and the games you play with her, you should be good.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also, as some have suggested, ask her what she would like to play.  You might be surprised by your own child's creativity.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T16:27:35.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2014-11-03T16:36:44.360" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;On top of the great answer from bmgh1985 (and I'd particularly second their recommendations of '&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Something_Special_(TV_series)&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Something Special&lt;/a&gt;' and '&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balamory&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Balamory&lt;/a&gt;') here are some more suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Night_Garden&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;In the Night Garden&lt;/a&gt;: Very safe, very gentle stories for real littlies which sometimes star female characters, sometimes male (and sometimes ones where you can't tell). The DVDs have a special 'going to sleep in the car' mode where at the end of the episode they just go to gentle music.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nina_and_the_Neurons&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Nina and the Neurons&lt;/a&gt;: Science &amp;amp; engineering with a female presenter for 4 years and up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/katie-morag&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Katie Morag&lt;/a&gt; is fab. Again for 4 years and up. Small wellie-wearing girl learns about the world on a remote Scottish island. Mum runs the post office, Dad runs the shop. Grannie Island is a tough, self-sufficient farmer while Grannie Mainland is a glamorous city-dweller. All great stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/topsy-and-tim&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Topsy and Tim&lt;/a&gt; is good on the equality front (they're boy/girl twins) but really is for pre-schoolers and up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I hear good things about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/grownups/shows/rastamouse&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rastamouse&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Oh, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teletubbies&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Teletubbies&lt;/a&gt; of course. We're in tiny-children territory again here. Very safe, very gentle. Race doesn't exist, gender goes as far as pronouns and no further. Watch out for &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teletubbies#Tinky_Winky_controversy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Tinky Winky and his handbag&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.charlieandlola.com/website.asp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Charlie &amp;amp; Lola&lt;/a&gt; is good for pre-schoolers and up. Small girl (age 5ish) learns about the world from her caring big brother (9ish).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.peppapig.co.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Peppa Pig&lt;/a&gt; is lovely (how could I forget Peppa?). British middle-class family life in porcine form, for about ages 2 to 5. Watchable as a parent (unlike the Night Garden which melts my brain). Peppa is the big sister and the heroine. Race is irrelevant because everyone is an animal. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnJ-Bxq1I8M&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Champion Daddy Pig&lt;/a&gt; is my favourite episode.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll come back and add more suggestions as I think of them...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/cbeebies&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;CBeebies iPlayer&lt;/a&gt; works in the USA, but if it does then you're in business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also want to check out the 'girl-empowering movies and TV programming' listed at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amightygirl.com/movies-tv&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;A Mighty Girl&lt;/a&gt;. Although I suspect some of them might be more worthy than good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_%26_Duck&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sarah and Duck&lt;/a&gt;, at the suggestion of @WayneConrad in the comments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2018-09-18T19:19:21.337" LastActivityDate="2018-09-18T19:19:21.337" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16457" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-03T17:37:24.937" Score="8" ViewCount="411" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/02/opinion/sunday/a-natural-fix-for-adhd.html&quot;&gt;A Natural Fix for A.D.H.D.&lt;/a&gt;, which discussed the idea that certain occupations are much better suited to a person with ADHD than others.  This idea is interesting to me, because my son has not been officially diagnosed, but has all the symptoms of ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would like to tailor his education to steer him toward occupations that will take advantage of his strengths, but there is very little information available.  Most ADHD literature presupposes a traditional classroom setting and curriculum.  The main reason we homeschool him now is because his ADHD made traditional classrooms all but impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is exactly what kind of occupations are better suited for people with ADHD, and why?  What would a curriculum look like that was designed specifically to prepare a child for those occupations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T11:41:36.170" Title="ADHD-friendly occupations" Tags="|education|adhd|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2014-11-03T17:38:19.950" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some other options that might be worth taking a look at:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pbskids.org/sid/&quot;&gt;Sid the Science Kid&lt;/a&gt; is more inclusive than some of the other PBS options. While the characters are Muppets, they've also got recognizable ethnicity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nickjr.com/ni-hao-kai-lan/&quot;&gt;Ni Hao, Kai-Lan&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nickjr.com/dora-the-explorer/&quot;&gt;Dora the Explorer&lt;/a&gt; from Nick Jr. -- while each has a non-white, female protagonist, there aren't a whole lot of other human characters on the show (from what I recall).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pbskids.org/mayaandmiguel/&quot;&gt;Maya and Miguel&lt;/a&gt; I haven't seen, but have heard some positive things about from friends.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T17:38:19.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12254" CreationDate="2014-11-03T18:14:26.463" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I completely agree with routine, and using the school or daycare as an exchange.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Around here, a very common schedule is 2-2-5-5.&lt;/strong&gt; That is, one parent has Monday and Tuesday, another will have Wednesday and Thursday, and then there are alternating weekends. This makes things much easier for scheduling, and allows the co-parents to do more on the weekend (e.g., a weekend trip).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be a bit of a long stretch, and my kids have a 3-4 hour visit on the weekends with the other parent, schedule permitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important thing is to find a schedule that works for the kids and both parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T18:14:26.463" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16460" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16466" CreationDate="2014-11-03T18:20:05.873" Score="14" ViewCount="4218" Body="&lt;p&gt;I left my verbally abusive ex-wife about 18 months, in part because I could see how much of an effect all the yelling had on my now 5-year old daughter and I wanted both my daughter and my now 3.5 year old son to grow up in a positive environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First the good news. In general, the co-parenting has gone fine, and a year after starting shared custody, the exchanges are pretty calm. (My ex yelled at me several times last year, but I didn't play along.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are doing great. But last week, my 3.5 year old son started saying &quot;Daddy: 1, Mommy: 100&quot; in something of a taunting tone. The implication was that he loves his mom more than me. Judging from his actions and his teachers' comments, I don't think this is at all true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My immediate response was that I don't think love has numbers. That I know he loves his mom and I know he loves me and I love him no matter what.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My longer-term concern is that this seems to be the latest of several taunts come from his mom. How do I counteract such poisoning? My main thought is to focus on and improve my relationship with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastEditorUserId="9826" LastEditDate="2014-11-08T16:38:00.067" LastActivityDate="2016-12-09T16:32:16.193" Title="Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex: How to Handle Poisoned Comments from Toddler?" Tags="|conflict|attachment|custody|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16461" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16472" CreationDate="2014-11-03T18:46:15.203" Score="6" ViewCount="1683" Body="&lt;p&gt;Background:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almost 6 months ago I met a great woman and she has a son, who just recently turned 7. His biological father is out of the picture, and essentially has been for his whole life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am 24 and I have no experience with children, other than having been one once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also worth noting that our relationship right now is long-distance and I visit them every third weekend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question:&#xA;I seem to have a number of challenges arising from my lack of &quot;knowing&quot; him, as well as what I'm guessing comes from his expectations on how he'd like to interact with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Rough Play - I'm not a very strong or physical person, but he seems to like to play-wrestle and I am considerably larger than him. It makes me nervous that I will accidentally hurt him, especially since the playing seems to escalate until basically I tell him to stop. At this point he doesn't stop, and then he gets in trouble for what we were just doing 5 minutes ago. Should I even play this way with him or how do I de-escalate the playing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Attention, possibly jealousy? - Last time I visited I spent nearly the entire weekend playing with him (legos, dinosaurs, etc). Then I try spending one hour with his mom and he can't leave us alone. He doesn't like it when we spend time together without him. One example (which was amusing at the time), is when I'm playing with him, his mother may call for me - to do something or another. He tells me to wait there and goes and does what his mom wanted me to do. I think he believes I'll do whatever she wanted and then I won't come back. &lt;em&gt;Admittedly, it may take me an extra minute so I can give her a smooch, but not more than a minute&lt;/em&gt;. At this point it isn't really a problem, but i get the feeling he's developing an expectation that I should spend all my time with him. I've watched some of his movies with him, and occasionally it shows the &quot;perfect dad&quot; (to a kid) and he does everything the kid wants. I'm worried his expectations may come from this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also wondering if there are other things I'm not even aware of that I should be looking out for, since I am becoming a part of his life and I have no prior experience with children.  In particular, things to be aware of since I am coming into his life now (as opposed to when he was born). Any advice is appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastEditorUserId="11426" LastEditDate="2014-11-03T19:54:02.413" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T02:59:55.227" Title="Challenges of being a step-father" Tags="|step-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2014-11-03T18:46:47.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Listen, I am in the same boat as his wife. I want 4 kids and my husband wants to stick with 3. It is a hard thing to figure out. Some people say that both should be on board with more children. In a perfect world, I agree with that. However, shouldn't both also be on board with stop having children? Why is it ok for the wife to get her dreams crushed? I always wanted a large family (which I define as 4 kids or more). 3 kids seems very typical to me. Yes, it is more than average, but still very typical. In my opinion, the husband will be happy if they decide to have another child and he will never regret that because he will have the love for that child like he does with his other children. However, if they decide to stop because the husband doesn't want more, the wife may feel this the rest of her life and be unhappy with the decision. I truly feel like I will be upset with this the rest of my life if we don't have a 4th child. I also feel like I may resent my husband for not allowing me to have my dream. I feel like not having a 4th child may actually destroy our marriage because I will start questioning if we don't even want the same things. Not saying that we would actually split up because of it, but I feel like I will never be able to trust him with my emotions again after him taking away something that it this important to me. In my case, I wish we would have settled this before getting married because I always knew I wanted 4 kids. We didn't because we were in love. Not sure if I would have married him if I had known that my dream would be crushed. Of course, it is hard to say that because had I not married him, I wouldn't have had the 3 beautiful children that I do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The number of children a person wants is so individual. I think it is unfair to blame it on someone's hormones and wanting an unrealistic dream etc. Why is 4 unrealistic, when 3 isn't or 2 isn't? What is so magical about 2 or 3 kids? It is completely based on an individual feeling of what is right for that person. I feel like 4 is the perfect number because the kids will always have someone to play with. When they grow into adults, they will always have someone to share their lives with. They will have enough siblings that they are bound to get along with at least one of them. My wanting 4 doesn't have to do with having a baby. It is beyond that. It is about the rest of our lives with having a big family around and future grandchildren etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say you should really listen to her reasoning and why she wants more children. Her opinion about this is just as important as yours. I believe that there is such a strong biological want/need for some women to have a certain number of children that she may never be happy without it. On the other hand, I believe that you will be happy if you have another one with her because 1.) you will love that child. 2.) you will know that you did everything you could to make her happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11427" LastEditorUserId="25055" LastEditDate="2016-12-27T19:31:45.003" LastActivityDate="2016-12-27T19:31:45.003" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16450" CreationDate="2014-11-03T19:04:17.730" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We also have this problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helps a bit if the child seat allows a bit of recline, and if it has an impact shield aka a 'wedge' (instead of a harness) then that means that if the seat is in the upright position then the child can sleep leaning forwards on the shield.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have this type here:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kiddy.de/en/car-seats/9months-4years/kiddy-energy-pro.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.kiddy.de/en/car-seats/9months-4years/kiddy-energy-pro.html&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;and it's all right. Unfortunately the older-child version we have doesn't recline :( although I think they do a different version that does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T19:04:17.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16464" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-03T19:47:58.827" Score="6" ViewCount="3423" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old son acts out: yells, throws, hits, makes faces, talks disrepectfully to my husband and I and his 4 year old sister (who he hits often).  We have talked so many times, disciplined, taken away privileges and toys, etc. Nothing gets through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today he asked me why he acts out so much and why is he a bad boy? This brought tears. What can I do next?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11429" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-03T20:40:16.620" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T00:15:14.740" Title="6 year old is acting out with family" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16287" CreationDate="2014-11-03T19:48:38.243" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I largely resisted any of the corner guard things. It was simply not possible to cover every possible edged surface and in the end we just ended up covering none of them. We're approaching age two and no brain trauma or major blood loss so it seems to have worked out okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're really feeling like you need a cover for those things when they're going to be warm I am reasonably confident you can just use any old edge cover. Baseboard heaters don't get as hot as radiators - it's why they have to cover so much of the room rather than the 1-3 feet a radiator does. Even then, though, the standard advice is that if your cat isn't sleeping on the radiator then it's set too hot. If you're not scalding skin you're not going to harm rubber.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your biggest issue is likely that they will get warm enough to make the adhesive less effective. My solution for anything like this always comes down to nylon pull-ties. If they're not long enough to go all the way around the heater you can daisy-chain them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T19:48:38.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16460" CreationDate="2014-11-03T20:32:24.433" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a difficult, painful and important issue. And congratulations on recognizing the long-term effects that the situation might have on your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Divorce can affect a child's relationship with their parents, and creates stresses which can interfere with their natural development. While divorce &lt;em&gt;per se&lt;/em&gt; does not seem to negatively impact children in the long run, the factors most important seem to be &lt;em&gt;the quality of the relationship between the parents&lt;/em&gt;, the quality of the relationship between the child and each parent separately, and the amount of contact between child and non-custodial parent. The negative effects of divorce are greatly mitigated when &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; parents maintain a positive relationship with each other. This seems rather intuitive, doesn't it? The problems continue to affect them into adulthood as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of your son's comments, he may well not understand what he's saying to you. Reacting calmly without any hostility (as you seem to have done) is very important. Clearly you don't sound like someone who would go the tit-for-tat route. But above that, &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; criticize their mother (to them or in front of anyone where it might get back to your ex). It is not only bad for your children, but if they repeat anything they've heard to their mother, it is the children who will pay in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know your situation, but generally, what can be done? First, have you spoken about this with your wife? If not, why not? Remember, though, that showing empathy in your dealings with your ex and refusing to engage in conflict is not about your ex; it's about your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, (with very good reason), you left your wife. The spouse that was left tends to be more bitter. What was done before you left? Did either of you receive counseling or did you have marital counseling? What effect did that have (obviously you are now divorced, but it would help to know if your wife responded at all to it.) &lt;em&gt;Counseling together as divorced co-parents&lt;/em&gt; might result in decreased bitterness, reduce her negative comments/influence and might help her to see how damaging this is to children in the long term. If the last element is the only thing she gets out of counseling, it would be worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, income of both parents drops dramatically after divorce. Keeping very current with alimony, and absorbing some extras (running your children to playdates, paying for lessons, etc.) might help. Not only might your children see you going out of your way to be nice to their mom, but she might actually be appreciative as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it seems to be clear from the literature that any kind of therapy improves outcome in ~70% of cases. If your wife isn't interested in counseling, you can go by yourself to learn coping strategies, or have co-counseling with your children (yes, they do have interventions with children this young).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all these measures seem premature to consider, then do what you're doing now: love them abundantly. Gently correct any misinformation they might repeat to you, as you did. Feeling words (that must be confusing, etc) are part of the language of love. Keep open communications with teachers (again, congratulations) to detect problems early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them know they can talk to you about anything (and that it won't be brought up with their mom). Trust is part of love. Providing a safe emotional environment where they don't feel that they're in the middle of some war-torn area is wonderful for your kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get more advice here at Parenting, as well as from good books on the subject and good blogs (perhaps like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.katescharff.com/blog/&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; one about collaborative divorce, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; about co-parenting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1979.tb00814.x/abstract&quot;&gt;Post-Divorce Family Relationships as Mediating Factors in the Consequences of Divorce for Children&lt;/a&gt; Hess et al. 2010&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3088878?uid=3739864&amp;amp;uid=2&amp;amp;uid=4&amp;amp;uid=3739256&amp;amp;sid=21105114072703&quot;&gt;The Effects of Divorce and Marital Discord on Adult Children's Psychological Well-Being&lt;/a&gt; Amato et al. 2001&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jaacap.com/article/S0890-8567%2809%2966294-8/abstract&quot;&gt;Children's Adjustment in Conflicted Marriage and Divorce: A Decade Review of Research&lt;/a&gt; Joan B. Kelly 2000&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jaacap.com/article/S0890-8567%2809%2966294-8/abstract&quot;&gt;What works with children and adolescents?: a critical review of psychological interventions with children, adolescents and their families&lt;/a&gt; A. Carr 2013&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1024601421020&quot;&gt;Preventive Interventions for Children of Divorce: A Developmental Model for 5 and 6 Year Old Children&lt;/a&gt; Pedro-Carroll et al. 1997&lt;/sub&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-11-09T00:52:03.057" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T00:52:03.057" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16450" CreationDate="2014-11-03T20:36:34.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a neck pillow with no padding at the back, just a length of fabric holding two kidney-shaped pillows together. It worked so well for the toddler I ended up buying a bunch more, so the whole family has their own to use as travel pillows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll post a picture later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was made by a local SAHM-business and we got it years ago, but similar things may be available online (perhaps Etsy) and/or if you're crafty, do-it-yourself!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T20:36:34.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16457" CreationDate="2014-11-03T21:14:37.757" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also have a son with ADHD, and am mildly chagrined to realize I haven't yet given much thought to his life after my household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/?q=job%20suitable%20for%20adhd#safe=strict&amp;amp;q=job+suitable+for+adhd&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;A web search for &quot;job suitable for adhd&quot;&lt;/a&gt; turns up a few lists. Some common results:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Military&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Medical (doctor or nurse)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Police or Firefighter&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Truck driver&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sales (particularly commission-based)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Entertainment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These tend to emphasize &lt;em&gt;variety of tasks&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;well-defined goals&lt;/em&gt;, so really any job with such characteristics could be &quot;suitable.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I think that with some effort, &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; job is feasible. ADHD symptoms are a challenge in any career, but I know a minister, a software developer, a soldier, an actor, and a novelist, all with ADHD and all doing pretty well. I have problems with focus, attention, boredom, and impulsivity, but I've been gainfully employed as an engineer and software developer for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one skill I use most often to cope with my inattention is make lists and reminders for myself &lt;em&gt;constantly&lt;/em&gt;. This is hugely valuable in my boss's opinion, because it means I document everything I do. I'm largely doing it so I can keep track of what I've tried over the course of the day and have a plan for what's happening next, but he likes it because documentation is important :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I cannot provide a particularly useful answer to the second part of your question regarding curriculum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T21:14:37.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16464" CreationDate="2014-11-03T23:24:12.153" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Focusing on the second paragraph, as I think more information is needed for the first.  Also, given you didn't describe how you discipline your children, don't take this as criticizing your specific discipline; instead, this is more generally &quot;why do kids often ask why they are bad&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many forms of discipline can very easily lead a child to internalize that he is bad.  Think of it as if you're in a running class in high school.  You're running every day, and your coach says &quot;You're a slow runner.  Stop running so slow.  Run faster.&quot;  Eventually, you'll start to believe simply that you're a slow runner.  You won't believe you can fix it, and you'll just decide that you're going to be a slow runner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discipline with children often follows this pattern.  It's very hard to work with a child who does misbehave frequently, and modify his behavior without sending the signal (either directly or not) that he is &quot;bad&quot;.  This is one of the most difficult things in parenting a strong-willed child (or, often, &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; child): not conveying to them the idea that there is something wrong with them internally, but that the issue is solely the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is something covered in many, many parenting books, often with different approaches, so I would recommend that you read several and see which fits your style best.  1-2-3 Magic, Parent Effectiveness Training, many others.  However, the high level overview is pretty similar across books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, it comes down to avoiding describing the child (&quot;You&quot;) and instead describe the behavior.  Instead of &quot;You are being bad.  You are hitting your sister. &quot;, focus on what the child is doing: &quot;Please do not hit your sister.  Hitting your sister hurts her and makes me sad.&quot;  This is similar to management training, if you're familiar with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoiding &quot;You&quot; leads both to more concrete statements of action - things the child can immediately fix - and to the child not self-identifying as &quot;bad&quot;.  Much of this misbehavior may well not be simply &quot;being bad&quot;, also.  It may be a child expressing feelings of envy, abandonment, need; or it may be wildness, caused by hunger or tiredness or simply being a little boy and feeling out his environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Leading back to my running metaphor, what would be useful would be if the coach instead said &quot;Your posture is wrong; try running on the balls of your feet.  Also, poor hydration can cause issues with how long you can stay out.&quot;  This is what a good coach does in most cases - tells you specifically what to do differently, not focusing on the fact that you're innately slow. The same should apply to children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-03T23:24:12.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16471" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16550" CreationDate="2014-11-03T23:28:28.170" Score="0" ViewCount="2046" Body="&lt;p&gt;The original manual was destroyed, and now I can't find it online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The car seat is an Safety 1st Alpha Omega 65, Model # 22483C-AXN manufactured in 2011.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Safety 1st claims to have manuals online, but there is no list, only a search function, and no matter what I search it comes up no results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3021" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T03:46:22.810" Title="Where can I find my car seat instruction manual?" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16461" CreationDate="2014-11-04T02:11:43.523" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, good for you. As a recently single dad (from divorce), I was glad to see your question and it sounds like you want to be a great part of his life. That's wonderful and I wish the best for you all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your two questions center around one key fact. It sounds like he hasn't really had a father figure in his life. Kids learn so much from parents and from adults. I see how much my kids model their behavior after me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) &lt;strong&gt;Rough play&lt;/strong&gt; My kids (both daughter and son) like to have some physical play (trying to ride me like a horse, etc. It's a good way to let off steam and burn some energy. It's tough to set a good boundary. My rule of thumb, both with myself, and my girlfriend, is to say &quot;no, stop, red light&quot; if it hurts or goes over the line. It sounds like you have a good idea here, but he hasn't yet learned the limit. Just be firm that there is a line, and &quot;no means no&quot; and &quot;stop means stop.&quot; Kids of all ages take time to learn new rules, and it will probably take time for him to learn this. Your relationship is new, so be patient and firm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) &lt;strong&gt;Attention seeking&lt;/strong&gt; I think he's forming an attachment to you, which is a good thing IMHO, particularly if he hasn't had a father figure. I was &lt;em&gt;amazed&lt;/em&gt; at how fast my kids formed an attachment to my girlfriend. So on one hand it's a good sign that he wants to spend time with you and he's a bit jealous of you spending time with his mom. Again, what you need to do is set a firm, patient limit. He's 7, right? So you can reason with him. Tell him &quot;hey, I need to spend a bit of time with your mom, I'm visiting her too. I'll be back in X minutes.&quot; Then when you come back, say &quot;thanks for being patient. I'm back, let's go play Legos some more.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being on the dad with soon-to-be-stepmom side, I can understand a lot of what you're going through. Remember that he's new to this whole thing too and be patient. It sounds like you have a great start on a good relationship with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a &lt;em&gt;ton&lt;/em&gt; of great resources on step-parenting and on parenting in general. Some of them are on Parenting.SE too. Talk with his mom. Don't be afraid to ask for help. And be loving and patient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7966/can-a-stepfather-and-stepson-relationship-work-well?rq=1&quot;&gt;Can a Stepfather and Stepson relationship work well?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/10714/trying-to-be-the-best-stepdad-i-can-be?rq=1&quot;&gt;Trying to be the best stepdad I can be.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T02:11:43.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16473" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16480" CreationDate="2014-11-04T02:20:44.050" Score="35" ViewCount="13825" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been potty training our son. We got him comfortable going sitting down first, and now he is learning to urinate while standing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I teach him to aim for when peeing while standing up, at the water, or at the side of the bowl?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have always aimed for the water, but my wife just informed me, after 3 years of cleaning the toilets, that she noticed that sometimes there is splatter on the adjacent walls. Does aiming at the water create more splatter than aiming at the bowl? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried an experiment in the urinal at work today, and aiming at the bowl seemed to result in splatter also, but my theory is that at least the splatter from the water is diluted (or is pure toilet water), while the splatter from the bowl is at least 99% urine. I couldn't find much research, at least nothing I could take seriously. Is there any evidence to support either argument? I considered conducting an experiment to measure the splash, but having a hard time figuring out how to collect data.. maybe I could hang some sheets of paper around the bowl and look for spots. Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11432" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T18:01:46.907" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T14:14:47.067" Title="Where should boys aim their urine?" Tags="|potty-training|hygiene|cleaning|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16461" CreationDate="2014-11-04T02:59:55.227" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rough play - you can use your superior size / strength to keep the game under control. When he starts to escalate you can do the opposite to rein it in. Always be on the lookout for the sudden attacks / swift kicks and such - the kid doesn't know how much he can hurt someone and he assumes ( on some level) that there is nothing he can do that would actually hurt you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside - don't try to be a parent. Be a friend. As the 'outsider' you have no authority with this kid and he may see you as an opponent for his mom (on some deep level). If this relationship is important then take the time to get to know the kid and build a rapport. If there is any parenting / disciplining to be done make sure it comes from the mom - but make sure you support her. It's never a good idea to undermine the parent in an effort to get close to the kid. It will backfire on you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11433" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T02:59:55.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2014-11-04T03:03:29.743" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put a bell on their doorway.. or something noisy in the hall.. my kids were like ninjas..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11433" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T03:03:29.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16457" CreationDate="2014-11-04T03:06:21.680" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Read &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0684801280&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; book. It has lots of great insight as to how to approach this as a parent, someone close to, or the person with said issues. It all comes down to &quot;play to your strengths&quot;. Nothing is off the table - but there will be things that (for whatever reason) are just not going to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11433" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T03:06:21.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16477" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-04T03:21:04.047" Score="7" ViewCount="36273" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 17 month old has been waking up after approximately an hour after he goes to sleep frantically crying.  It's been going on for about a month.  Sometimes he is sitting up crying and sometimes he is still laying down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before this he was a good sleeper.  He goes right back to bed.  My husband or I just go in and cover him back up and give him his binky (he only uses it to sleep at this point).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He doesn't need his diaper changed, a bottle, or even comforted more than being tucked back in and told good night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has no problem for his naps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has a small fish tank light on so its not completely dark and he's always had that light so nothing has changed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is a fan running on low for white noise and he's always had that also.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His room is around 75-78 degrees which is where we always keep it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is teething but he's had 6 teeth come in from 6 mo old until now without these problems.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are no other things going on such as someone coming home, neighbors, etc and it happens almost exactly 1 hour after bedtime no matter what time he goes to bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's on a general schedule of waking between 7-8am, napping from about 12-3pm, then bedtime about 7-8pm.  He sets his schedule but that's his norm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not hard to put him back to sleep, but I'd like to know what is going on and fix it. I've wondered about nightmares or something else but its too predictable.  Any ideas? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11434" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T06:17:49.810" LastActivityDate="2018-08-12T12:12:53.967" Title="Toddler wakes up after hour of sleep crying" Tags="|toddler|behavior|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13931" CreationDate="2014-11-04T05:11:21.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can only speak to my experience and the community I live in, but...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sex, birth, and death are all part of life. So are love, hate, joy, dread, excitement and exhaustion. Trying to pretend the happy ones are all there is doesn't seem to work out well. Pretending that some of the happy ones are dirty or shameful seems even more twisted. Its more honest to admit that happy things are all happy but some carry special consequences, and that is why we have to think about the things we do and take responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids have helped me and granddad raise chickens and pigs, been fishing, to the zoo, watch nature shows, helped grow veggies, helped cook, and have been present for the birth of some of the younger children (even in the same room with the midwife, doctor and myself as mom delivers). We're not making any special effort to be &quot;constantly educating&quot; but I'm pretty sure that even the four year-old pretty much understands how things work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also is developing a sense of propriety and knows it is normal to be naked with everyone in the shower or onsen, but walking around town nude is just not done (we live in Japan, by the way -- social norms lean a bit this way or that elsewhere, but the basic idea of adhering to norms holds).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its not clear to me what the purpose of having &quot;the talk&quot; would be. I was born in Texas, my father grew up on a farm, my mother comes from a wealthier part of society (but grew up tending to the family horses) -- neither seem to think our kids' nearness to life events is unusual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't remember ever having &quot;the talk&quot; when I was a kid, but I knew generally how things worked from an early age. When I was around 4th grade or so I remember asking my mom to explain exactly how sex makes a baby -- I'd been around animals and knew what parts of me corresponded to parts of them. My mom just answered the question directly: women produce eggs and men produce sperm, just like horses. And that was that. When I was in junior high school is probably the next time I cared about the details of the biology, my curiosity about the erotic aspects of life developing a tad earlier than this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point in sharing all this is that kids pick up on things around them pretty quick, and unless you've been deliberately hiding them from the daily facts of nature, they probably already know what animals do together. If they have been exposed to birth that clears up the other bits. The social circumstances of right and wrong, and the exact biology of the details behind reproduction are really the only things to iron out -- but that is assuming you're not the sort who fears that your kids might accidentally watch a wildlife show for the same reason you fear they might stumble on an adult website.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11435" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T05:11:21.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-04T06:12:02.417" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, any fast moving stream of anything with mass is going to splatter when it hits something else -- it's really all about the angles (source &amp;amp; target) and velocity as to where it goes during the impact.  Toilets are shaped differently, too, with some longer, shorter, taller, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're potty training though -- not refining bathroom skills.  Most parents will be happy that it lands &lt;em&gt;in&lt;/em&gt; the toilet, not necessarily worrying about where inside was the target.  That said, aim for the center and forget the splatter.  The further off from the mark he ends, the more likely he'll remain in the primary target and that will make much less of a mess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T06:12:02.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-04T06:16:48.747" Score="47" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not to take the fun out of devising your own experiment, but the fine fluid dynamics physicists at the Splash Lab (at Brigham Young University) are trying to figure out how to prevent urinal splash-back right now! Fluid dynamics scientists (calling themselves the &quot;wizz kids&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;set up a water tank and nozzles (emitting colored water) to mimic the natural flow of human urine as it leaves the body. They then filmed the action using high-speed cameras. Scrutiny of the video allowed the team to clearly see which sorts of techniques cause the most, or least splash-back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; the surprising results &lt;a href=&quot;http://phys.org/news/2013-11-university-physicists-urine-splash-back-tactics.html&quot;&gt;at Phys.Org&lt;/a&gt; and more at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.extremetech.com/extreme/170502-how-to-pee-without-splashback-or-how-fluid-dynamics-might-save-your-marriage&quot;&gt;ExtremeTech.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, they examined splash-back at different angles on water and porcelain. They found a splash-free zone exists right around the rim of the bowl, but it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;increases the odds of actually missing the bowl altogether&quot;, Hurd noted. &quot;I wouldn't recommend this approach to anyone but military snipers,&quot; he added.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The absolutely best way to reduce splash back?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote class=&quot;spoiler&quot;&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sitting while urinating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;An interesting aside: I taught my boys by drawing a target on a square of toilet tissue and floating the target mid-bowl. I found that there was very little splash back when they hit it. Adopting this technique in public restrooms eliminates almost all splash-back. Nice to see it finally in print!&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T06:16:48.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16481" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-04T11:53:42.370" Score="5" ViewCount="2807" Body="&lt;p&gt;I keep getting astonished on how my 1 year old LO's mental and cognitive abilities have developed recently. Suddenly she remembers things, understands yes/no, knows some words for some things, understands simple commands, and so on and so on... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I feel like I could be doing more to encourage her development further, to teach her new things - since she is eager to play with me and learn new things it would be a great time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is a one year old capable of learning? In what ways can I work (play) with her to make sure she uses as much of her potential as possible?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I know there're few similar questions (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6109/how-to-better-engage-myself-with-my-15-month-old&quot;&gt;how to better engage myself with my 15 month old&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7315/toys-for-a-1-year-old&quot;&gt;toys for a 1 year old&lt;/a&gt;), but they seem to only skim the subject. I'd like the answers to focus on developing and learning.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;ok, I've listed what we already often do in my answer. I'm looking forward to ither ideas!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T19:27:43.540" Title="How to constructively play with a one year old?" Tags="|infant|development|learning|play-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8717" CreationDate="2014-11-04T12:03:31.380" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some great answers already about explaining the purpose of vaccinations, but this is what I actually do on the day:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Show him the sweeties that he is going to get once he's had his shots.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get them out of your bag as the needle appears (this distracts him from the needle, so his arm is less tense, so it hurts less).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In most cases the shot should be done by now. If not then, in a humorous tone, ask the nurse/doctor to hurry up with that shot, because little Johnny wants to have his sweetie! &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Apply sweetie to child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;GOTO 1 UNTIL all-shots-complete.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cuddle child, distract child. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give yourself a sweetie, 'for helping'.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T12:03:31.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16481" CreationDate="2014-11-04T12:31:27.113" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've decided to share a few things we do right now which seem to be interesting and fun and (I think) help her develop (or at least don't slow her development:). Just an explaination: I write &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; all the time because I have a daughter. At this age it doesn't change much for boys I guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Indoors&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Activities with children's books&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many books for toddlers: thick &quot;pages&quot;, little text, but many colorful and varied pictures. Turning pages in such a book seems to develop motor skills, pointing and naming various things teaches some words, then asking &quot;where is &amp;lt; the thing I just showed you &gt;&quot; and waiting for the baby to point seems to be fun too, and it is a good opportunity to praise the child. Picking up the book, putting it down and getting another one, then reading and pointing and naming and asking again - it can go on for long minutes. Of course simply reading the text and pointing at things you read about also works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Watching pictures&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Picture albums work similarly as books, but instead of naming things you are naming people (and, perhaps, things). It's a great idea to have a special album for the child and have pictures of mom, dad, siblings, grandparents and other family members or friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Object manipulation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some household equipment can be operated by the baby. There're buttons to press, knobs to turn, possibly even some levers, and many of them cause some diodes to blink, messages to display, etc etc. A stereo works great for my kid, she presses a button and a drawer will open, another button toggles a led under it, and yet another makes a casette deck open. For some reason it's all fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course normal things which we use everyday are also interesting. A wooden roller, a phone charger, a camera case, a bag... Virtually everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provided it's safe. Make sure there are no suffocation dangers, no wires exposed, no unprotected plugs, no sharp edges, etc. And keep an eye on the baby when it first plays with something new. There're ways to harm oneself for a toddler we couldn't have imagined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Containers&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently it's a lot of fun to put various things into containers. And get them out of containers. And shake the containers with something inside. And do many other things I'd consider boring. Just make sure the container has no sharp edges (for example some formula cans do, some don't). My LO seems to be slowly grasping the concept of size, firmness, things fitting in each other and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discovering the world&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the baby learns crawling (and, later on, walking) it gains a completely new way of discovering the world. &lt;em&gt;Make sure to let the baby do it&lt;/em&gt;. Try to reduce the amount of dangerous things at your home (take a look at the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2528/what-home-safety-aspects-should-new-parents-consider&quot;&gt;baby proofing the aprartment question&lt;/a&gt;). Also, try to maximize the safe zone which your baby can explore. Put all dangerous things in one or place instead of scattering them around different closets.  That way, the safe closets will be available for opening for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Movement: sit-ups, squats, swinging, dancing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously the baby is not capable of doing those exercises, but she seems to enjoy when I do them. Pickaboo sit-ups, squats while carrying the baby, some swinging and even dancing (waltz seems to work fine) - all combined with making a lot of sounds and laughing - seem to be very enjoyable. Just make sure to have enough space and be safe!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Outdoors&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a lot to do outdoors. But the general rule if you go on a walk should be: &lt;strong&gt;let the child decide what to do&lt;/strong&gt;. If she wants to stare at ants for fifteen minutes - let her. If she wants to watch the ducks, chase leaves, run hands through sand, do anything that isn't dangerous - let her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if you are on your way somewhere, that rule doesn't apply. You go out to get somewhere, not to play. Make sure to explain it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Swimming pool&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swimming pool is a great fun place for children of all ages. We took our LO to a swimming pool when she was around 7 months old, but it can be done earlier. Splashing water is always enjoyable, and later on there're things to throw, things to touch and in general - things to learn (how strangely things behave in water, don't they?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ZOO&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there's no explaination needed here. ZOO is a great place to go with all those animals. It'd be best to go there everyday just to look at that funny giraffe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Forest&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Freash air, birds, trees, flowers, bushes, fungi - a lot to watch, some things to touch and a lot to learn. Just make sure no strange berries are being eaten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sports&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A one year old is (usually) simply mastering walking, so there's not much &lt;em&gt;sport&lt;/em&gt; to do. But running, some ball-kicking or throwing is a possibility. It depends on a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bubbles&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're always fun. My daughter can stare at them for 10-15 minutes straight. Fascinating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Slide and swing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most swings and slides are not appropriate for a one year old. However, you can swing with your LO on your lap. Be extra careful not to let your child go. Slides, at least those small ones (1m?) are usable with parents' help. We lift the baby to the top of the slide, delicately hold her when sliding down (her back/head are supported by one of us) and the other parent waits at the end of the slide and smiles and laugs to the baby. A lot of fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T19:11:16.403" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1711" CreationDate="2014-11-04T12:36:01.730" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answering my own question here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked was getting her to eat more. The main trick in doing that was to give her one thing at a time. in reverse order of desirability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if we had spaghetti and meatballs, we would first give her some vegetables to eat, then some meatballs and lastly the yummy creamy pasta. This way she would eat vegetables until she wasn't desperately hungry, then meatballs until she was not hungry at all, then pasta until she was stuffed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way she ate more during the day, went to bed stuffed (as she first ate, and then had milk) and would not wake up during the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="105" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T12:36:01.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16283" CreationDate="2014-11-04T12:42:13.397" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;David, thanks for all the additional info. It's really helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Joe and sbi have already written really good answers on ways to cope with the behaviour itself, so I'll try not to duplicate too much of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel for you as parents - tantrums are horrible - and even more I feel for your son, who is obviously having a hard time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be reassured that although tantrums are something you'd mostly expect from toddlers, you do get them with 4-year-olds sometimes, particularly if they're tired or stressed. So nothing you're describing is outside the range of 'normal'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing to remember is that, when he's having a tantrum, &lt;strong&gt;he's trying to communicate with you&lt;/strong&gt;. It's just that he's too young and emotionally unsophisticated to verbalise the way he's feeling, so he's acting it out instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's up to you to work out what he's trying to say - i.e. what all this is about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've got some help in this - talk to the other people who are involved in his life - e.g. your partner, his grandparents, his teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's he trying to say? Could be one of the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;strong&gt;I want to try getting my own way.&lt;/strong&gt; I am testing the boundaries of what I'm permitted to do. I want to do things my way.&amp;quot; &lt;em&gt;In your situation I'd be quite hesitant to assume that this is nothing more than a &lt;a href=&quot;http://positiveparenting.com/dealing-with-power-struggles/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;power struggle&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; - but it might be. Boundary-pushing is normal and expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&amp;quot;I'm finding school difficult&amp;quot;.&lt;/strong&gt; Given he's just started at school, this seems like the most likely explanation. Next step is to narrow down what it is about school that's causing him stress/unhappiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&amp;quot;I'm dog-tired&amp;quot;.&lt;/strong&gt; Half-way through the first term at school, this is also pretty likely. There's a lot of novelty, the days are probably longer than he's used to, he's probably not really relaxed into it yet. The 'honeymoon period' is over, but it's not Christmas yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Something else entirely.&lt;/strong&gt; Don't rule it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next steps that I'd suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to your partner&lt;/strong&gt; / anyone else involved in his upbringing. Just talk it over and see what they think lies behind this. The two of you might have noticed different things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to his teacher&lt;/strong&gt;. Ask for a 10-minute chat in private, don't just have a single-sentence exchange at dropoff/pickup time. Explain that he's consistently having tantrums while getting ready for school, ask if she/he has noticed anything that he seems to be having trouble with or feeling unhappy about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to him&lt;/strong&gt;. Find out what the &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; things are about school. It's likely that he enjoys some things and not others. The book &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fabermazlish.com/pub_viewer.php?How-to-Talk-So-Kids-Will-Listen-and-Listen-So-Kids-Will-Talk-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;How To Talk So Kids Will Listen &amp;amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk&lt;/a&gt; is a useful resource. If you find out what he &lt;em&gt;likes&lt;/em&gt; about school then that has a few benefits: 1) You know those things he likes probably aren't the problem, 2) Positive talk with you about school will make him remember that he does have positive feelings about &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; aspects of school, 3) He'll be more likely to spontaneously open up to you about whatever he's having trouble with. Don't assume that the problem is the school-work itself (although it might be) - the whole social environment of school can be tricky and hard to get used to (e.g. sitting in one place and concentrating for a longish period of time can be tricky for a lot of 4-year-old boys). He may be getting in trouble for behaviour that was acceptable at nursery - this change will be confusing and will make him feel angry because his expectations have been confounded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that you shouldn't take steps to deal with the behaviour itself - you should. But thinking about what's prompting it is likely to be quite productive in the long run (as well as, of course, you want to help him with whatever-the-problem-is, which you can't do if you focus solely on the behaviour itself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here's what I'd do about the behaviour (although you should of course adapt this to whatever fits your style as a parent and whatever suits your child the best - see the other answers for more options):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At a time when he's calm and the environment is low-stress, talk to him about the tantrums (he may be able to tell you what they're all about, which would be handy). Explain that you understand he's not feeling happy but you do have to make sure he gets to school each day. Explain the consequence that'll follow each time there's a tantrum (something not too major, I'd suggest, such as no TV that day).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When the tantrum occurs, calmly go into the next room, thereby depriving him of an audience. Leave the door open - you're not shutting him away by himself, you're just taking away his audience. Going to the kitchen and making yourself a cup of tea is not out of the question at this point. Be open to the idea that he may come to you and need a hug to help himself to calm down. If things go quiet but he doesn't come to you then you go to him. Be calm, gentle and strong (think 'oak tree').&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Follow through with the consequence (e.g. no TV later that day at TV time) but reassure him that you're confident tomorrow he'll be just fine getting ready for school, and you can watch TV together then (or whatever). You could plan with him what programme you might watch, so he knows there's a reward ready. If you don't have a consequence that works that way (as a potential reward) then think about giving an extra reward for each day he gets ready for school without a tantrum. It can be something pretty small - just a 'thank you for making my life easier' present from you to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about being late for school. By this time you'll have already spoken to his teacher, and the school will understand. It's his first term, after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that's helpful - I'll come back and add more things if/when I think of them, as well as some more references if I can find good ones. Let us know how it goes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Watch for red flags. If your previously sweet child turns sour after starting school, that's a sign of an adjustment problem. It might be a mismatch with the other students, the teacher, or the curriculum. It's important that the child's first year of full-day school be a positive one, because the main goal of education in the first couple years is to instill into the child a love of learning. Some other warning signs: vague pains (such as tummy aches and headaches) that only occur on school days, &lt;strong&gt;change of emotions from happy to sad&lt;/strong&gt;, and overall less energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/the-full-school-day-21354468&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dr Sears: The Full School Day&lt;/a&gt; - &lt;em&gt;Parenting&lt;/em&gt; magazine&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reception class children are too young to put&#xA;much of their experience into words.&lt;/strong&gt; They learn&#xA;to manage situations and master their anxieties&#xA;through play. Playing games [about] school with strict,&#xA;stroppy or kind teachers provide children with&#xA;ways of thinking about their new experiences&#xA;with unknown adults and unfamiliar tasks.&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;It is normal for children’s behaviour to regress&#xA;at this time.&lt;/strong&gt; While they’re struggling to manage at&#xA;the new school, &lt;strong&gt;children may become more&#xA;babyish or demanding at home&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://understandingchildhood.net/documents/08UCPrimaryschool01.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Understanding Childhood: The Child's Experience of Primary School&lt;/a&gt; ← it's worth reading all of this leaflet&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worrying or difficult behaviour might be short-lived, so give it some time. All children go through stages of feeling anxious or angry and they can show this in lots of ways, for example, &lt;strong&gt;tantrums&lt;/strong&gt;, crying, sleeping problems or fighting with friends or siblings. They might be &lt;strong&gt;adapting to a change in the family or in their school life&lt;/strong&gt;, or just trying out new emotions, and will generally grow out of worrying behaviour on their own or with family support&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_parents/parents_guide&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parents' Survival Guide - Young Minds&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first weeks of school&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School isn't easy for everyone. During the first few weeks of school it's essential to keep communicating with your child and take care to notice signs that things aren't going well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;It's not uncommon for a child in their second week not to want to go to school. They'll say, 'I've been to school now and I don't need to go back',&amp;quot; says Dr Spungin. &amp;quot;The excitement of the first week has worn off, but they still feel nervous.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr Spungin says you can &lt;strong&gt;watch your child's behaviour as well as listen to what they say. &amp;quot;Look at your child's behaviour in the morning when you get ready for school&lt;/strong&gt;. Are they bright and lively, or dawdling? How do they react when you ask them how their day was?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep your questions simple. &amp;quot;It's difficult for a five-year-old to answer a question about whether they're happy at school. You'll get more information if you &lt;strong&gt;ask specific questions&lt;/strong&gt;, such as who did you play with? Who did you eat lunch with? Are there any naughty boys or girls in your class? Your child might not even know what the word 'bully' means.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/childhealth1-5/Pages/Firstdayofschool.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The first day at school (NHS Choices)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the sound recordings of kids’ breakdowns, the researchers found that sadness happens throughout a tantrum, and is punctuated by intense bouts of anger — i.e., yelling and screaming. ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Potegal advises moms and dads to ignore their freaking-out kiddo, and soon enough, the fury will subside, leaving &lt;strong&gt;a whole bunch of sadness&lt;/strong&gt;. That’s when parents can swoop in. Sad children seek comfort, and sure enough, that’s just what mine did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://healthland.time.com/2011/12/06/the-new-science-behind-childrens-temper-tantrums/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The New Science Behind Children’s Temper Tantrums&lt;/a&gt;, TIME Magazine&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have a talk when it's time.&lt;/strong&gt; When your child is no longer having a fit, have a conversation about what happened. Without berating your child or taking an accusatory tone, ask why he or she was upset. Provide a clear explanation of your side of the story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It’s important not to treat your child as the enemy, even if you’re upset with him or her. Hug your child and speak lovingly even as you’re explaining that we can’t always get our way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Your-Child%27s-Temper-Tantrum&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;How to Handle Your Child's Temper Tantrum&lt;/a&gt;, WikiHow&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Four-year-olds. Most children have the necessary motor and physical skills to meet many of their own needs without relying so much on an adult. At this age, children also have better language that allows them to express their anger and to problem-solve and compromise. Despite these improved skills, even kindergarten-age and &lt;strong&gt;school-age children can still have temper tantrums when they are faced with demanding academic tasks and new interpersonal situations in school&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nasponline.org/resources/behavior/tantrums_ho.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Temper Tantrums: Guidelines for Parents&lt;/a&gt;, National Association of School Psychologists&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T15:06:29.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16440" CreationDate="2014-11-04T12:58:06.910" Score="4" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Build a fort or castle out of cardboard boxes and some imagination. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you are through with the cardboard box as a fort or castle then take it to the nearest hill in the neighborhood and use the box to slide down the grass like a sled without the snow. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For rainy days nothing is more fun than making a fort out of blankets and chairs. Find some cheap burlap fabric and some cane poles and make a tepee in the backyard or scale down materials for inside. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One of my favorite things when I was a kid was my brother and I would play with those cheap sets of small plastic cowboys and Indians or army men figures. We would set them up outside and dig rivers and make mountains spending all day setting them up just to knock them all down with a ball or what ever struck or fancy that day. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get a book on trees, plants, wild flowers, rocks, etc and take a walk in the woods and teach her how to identify what you see on your walk. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lay on you back on a blanket in the yard and play that cloud looks like. . . and take turns telling what you think the clouds looks like with a little made up story to go along with the description. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I babysit for three little boys that were notoriously picky eaters. When they would eat and not cause a fuss I would let them pick a CD and dance on the kitchen breakfast bar like a runway. It worked every time they loved the fact it was a bit of a forbidden thing.(Strict rules about no climbing inside or outside)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11440" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T14:30:55.180" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T14:30:55.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-04T14:47:58.123" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-24820279&quot;&gt;According to a recent study&lt;/a&gt;, the optimal way to reduce toilet splash (besides sitting down) is to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;drop a few pieces of tissue into a toilet bowl to soften the blow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a urinal:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;stand slightly to one side, and aim downwards at a low angle of impact&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6999" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T14:47:58.123" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-04T14:55:53.097" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When aiming at the bowl instead of the water, note that the shape of the bowl makes a big difference. To be precise, &lt;em&gt;a steeper angle of the surface being hit creates less splash-back.&lt;/em&gt; This is why anon's answer mentions &quot;near the rim&quot; - the sides of the bowl are the steepest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're teaching our boys to sit down for any business, except in nature and in gross places.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a resident in Austria, it never ceases to amaze (and disgust) me that toilet bowls in Germany and Austria are shaped like this... you'd think it would kinda &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; people to sit down for their #1 business, but they don't. (Okay... &lt;a href=&quot;http://satwcomic.com/have-a-sit-down&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;some do&lt;/a&gt;.) And the #2 business doesn't go into the water until you flush. Ew. Still, my wife insists we have at least one of these in the house, her argument being that it's useful to know the amount and substance of the output. I'm glad I could convince her to have a &quot;normal&quot; one in the other bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/uuY90.png&quot; alt=&quot;Flachspüler&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T14:55:53.097" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16481" CreationDate="2014-11-04T15:33:59.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestion for 1 year old play is to &lt;strong&gt;take them outside&lt;/strong&gt;. Bring them to a park or outside environment every day, in all weather. Let them get dirty, hot and cold, muddy and dusty. This will stimulate their entire body which will stimulate their mind. Outside play also stimulates their immune system letting them encounter bacteria that are abundant and unavoidable. Sunlight produces vitamin D and strengthens their skin and external tissue. Let them express themselves physically. If they fall and get a boo-boo, laugh and soothe them, but don't make a big deal out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11442" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T15:33:59.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16490" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16491" CreationDate="2014-11-04T16:28:34.147" Score="5" ViewCount="5711" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 12 month old twins. Today I was eating chocolate and one of my twin tried to grab it as she wanted it but I didnt give it. &#xA;Is it safe for babies to have chocolate and honey ? Also wanted to know about eggs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-11-05T05:10:52.557" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T09:35:03.467" Title="When can we start giving chocolate, honey and eggs to babies?" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16490" CreationDate="2014-11-04T16:37:00.170" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Chocolate, eggs and honey are all safe at 12 months, unless your children have a specific allergy to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Too much chocolate or honey could be bad for their teeth. Also see info below about feeding too much sweet foods to babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eggs should be cooked until the yolks are solid, to avoid the risk of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/food-poisoning/pages/introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;salmonella&lt;/a&gt;. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/eggs-nutrition.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NHS Choices: Eggs&lt;/a&gt;. See section &amp;quot;Egg safety&amp;quot;). It doesn't matter how you cook them (boiled, scrambled, fried) so long as they're cooked thoroughly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Honey is not recommended for infants under 12 months of age due to the &amp;quot;rare but serious&amp;quot; risk of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Botulism/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;infant botulism&lt;/a&gt;, but yours are 12 months old so that should be ok. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10225536&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;BBC News: Parents reminded to avoid honey in babies&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Twelve months onwards&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By now your baby can fit in with the family by eating three meals a day. They will also need healthy snacks between meals as well as two to three cups of milk each day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid snacks with lots of added sugar and keep offering healthy snacks/finger foods such as vegetables, bread or pieces of pasta, potato, meat or fish to encourage them to be independent eaters. Remember that babies need full fat milk and dairy products until they are two years old because they need the extra fat and vitamins in full fat dairy products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whole nuts should not be given before five years as they may cause choking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/start4life/Pages/babies-food-variety.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Taste for life - giving your baby a variety of food now may prevent fussy eating later&lt;/a&gt;, NHS Start4Life&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies who are given sweet things to eat or drink are more likely to get a taste for sweet foods than babies who are not. Giving babies food with added sugar can cause these serious problems:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It can rot their tiny teeth, and lead to fillings and even lost teeth (drinks with added sugar are particularly bad for babies’ teeth – it’s like giving a baby a lolly to suck on all day).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It can put them at a higher risk of becoming overweight or obese, which can lead to type 2 diabetes, heart disease and some cancers in later life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Giving your baby a sweet tooth also means that they are more likely to keep pestering and crying for sugary things. This makes it difficult to say ‘no’ to but means that your baby learns that crying and pestering will get them what they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/start4life/Pages/babies-avoiding-sugar-sweet-foods.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sweet as they are - how to avoid giving your baby a sweet tooth&lt;/a&gt;, NHS Start4Life&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“Really, anything that you can put in baby’s mouth, if it’s nutritious and they won’t choke on it, is okay,” says Rachel Lewis, MD, an assistant professor of clinical pediatrics at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/baby-food-nutrition-9/starting-solid-food?page=3&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Starter Guide to Baby Food &amp;amp; Nutrition&lt;/a&gt;, WebMD, p.3&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T09:35:03.467" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-04T16:52:59.243" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few people have touched upon this (he says sarcastically) but the best way to reduce it is by sitting down. An increasing number of men are sitting when they use the toilet as it's supposed to be more hygienic (as there isn't urine all over the place). I beleive Sweden and Japan are a couple examples of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Failing that, don't tell him where to aim, but make him clean up after himself. He'll quickly learn the best way to do it then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE: Additionally, making him clean after himself means he'll hopefully learn to take responsibility for his mess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11444" LastEditorUserId="11444" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T17:10:01.933" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T17:10:01.933" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16477" CreationDate="2014-11-04T17:18:40.480" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a child, I experienced this frequently. It turned out to be night terrors which caused hyperventilating which worsened the night terrors and so on...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that my mother did with me was tell me to imagine myself falling asleep in a superman cloak which was impervious to everything. Children are incredibly susceptible to suggestion. I think this increased my confidence when it came to going to sleep as the night terrors seemed to be partly induced by the very fear of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No sources, just experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE: If this persists, it's ceases to become a child having nightmares and becomes a health concern. Consider seeking medical advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11444" LastEditorUserId="11444" LastEditDate="2014-11-04T21:21:22.257" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T21:21:22.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16495" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16496" CreationDate="2014-11-04T18:18:50.280" Score="11" ViewCount="14378" Body="&lt;p&gt;I currently attend quite a few different playgroups throughout the week with my one year old little boy (he is at the crawling, not quite talking stage). And I recently experienced the awkward situation where another person's little boy (approx. 2 years old) took the toy that my child was playing with and ran off with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the time I took a back seat and didn't say anything, just letting the parent of the child deal with it. However, I don't feel that her half-hearted scolding really solved the problem as, though my son got the toy back, it repeatedly happened and eventually the parent just let him get on with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not really sure what I should have done in this situation, and was worried about ruffling other parent's feathers. At the time, I just let it go and distracted my child with another toy that he was fairly happy to play with. However, I couldn't help but feel that in doing so and keeping fairly quiet myself throughout the whole affair, I'm somehow teaching him that it's wrong to stand up for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, any advice on dealing with similar situations would be much welcome, thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11448" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-07T11:23:00.320" LastActivityDate="2022-06-07T09:38:24.430" Title="How can I deal with with other people's children taking items from my one-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|sharing|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16495" CreationDate="2014-11-04T19:26:53.977" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;This situation is going to recur for years. Develop a long-term strategy for dealing with it based on what is &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; for your son, not necessarily what is &lt;em&gt;fair&lt;/em&gt;. At this age, he's not going to learn any significant lesson from any behavior you choose as long as it's not frightening to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of reasons to stop someone from snatching a toy: value (don't bring to the park any object you can't stand to lose), germs, your son's distress, your discomfort, what example snatching sets for your child's future behavior, and more. So it's good to look at the big picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you want him to learn that sharing is good? (Granted he wasn't given a choice here, but it is a kind of sharing.) If your son doesn't cry, you can praise him for &lt;em&gt;good sharing&lt;/em&gt; while giving him a replacement. When the other child has had it long enough, just calmly retrieve it. No biggie. It's not your job to train someone else's kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you want to teach him right from wrong? Tell him calmly, &lt;em&gt;that wasn't right, was it? He should have said please first and waited&lt;/em&gt;, and replace the toy. Retrieve it at your convenience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to teach him feeling words (how to identify his emotions and develop strategies for dealing with them) ask your son &lt;em&gt;did that make you sad? Will another toy make you happy, or do you need that toy?&lt;/em&gt; Or &lt;em&gt;Would you like me to go get it or can he play with it for a few minutes?&lt;/em&gt; (Choices are always nice.) If the boy cries, say &lt;em&gt;that made him sad. Maybe his mommy should buy him one. Do you want to let him play with yours for a few minutes? If you do, we can play with (substitution).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a while off before he'll actually learn &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; from all this, but those times will come. Whatever your choice (and it's perfectly ok to calmly repossess your son's toy at any 'little thief's' age and let &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; mommy make a life lesson out of it), make sure it reflects what you want &lt;em&gt;for your son&lt;/em&gt;, not the gut reaction you feel when a strange kid snatches your son's toy from him. Your son doesn't feel that yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably the single most important thing is that you anticipate these events and remain calm and assured in your response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T19:26:53.977" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16481" CreationDate="2014-11-04T19:27:43.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with taking children outside, they learn so much by exploring nature and the surrounding environment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent of teenagers, we did so many early activities related to reading - one thing I wished I'd done more is playing games to develop early MATH skills.  Here are some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One type of toy that seems really simple but are important developmentally is blocks - which come in a big variety of shapes &amp;amp; sizes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;simply stacking blocs teaches very young toddlers that unstable things fall down - a really simple and early physics lesson&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;blocks help kids learn patterns at a really young age, matching, non matching, colors, etc.  Playing with blocks can teach babies and toddlers about relationships between shapes (two triangles make a square, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;blocks help babies motor skills development by manipulating blocks together, trying to stack, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other good really early math skill play is:&#xA;Open a large cardboard box at each end to turn it into a tunnel that baby can crawl through.  This helps children understand where their body is in space and in relation to other objects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a ton of things to do with babies and toddlers that will help develop math skills:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mathatplay.org/resources/pdfhandout/eng/Activities_List_Birth_to_Three.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mathatplay.org/resources/pdfhandout/eng/Activities_List_Birth_to_Three.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11452" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T19:27:43.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2014-11-04T20:23:46.593" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm coming late to this discussion.  I won't tell you what to do, but I'll tell you what &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't call the police or involve the law in any way.  The law will likely do far more damage than marijuana or ecstasy are likely to do.  Even if you think that a stint in jail will &quot;scare her straight&quot;, she will have a permanent stigma for life that will result in lost opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would only even consider involving the law if she is doing something that is likely to seriously harm someone who doesn't want to be involved; such as if she were doing hard drugs while 30 weeks pregnant, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T20:23:46.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-04T21:17:28.313" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;anyone ever tried putting a mist of water inside the toilet bowl?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a spray that starts when someone stands in front of it, maybe downward from the top of the back of the bowl under the rim. The droplets would knock down any splatter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11454" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T21:17:28.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16477" CreationDate="2014-11-04T23:02:52.220" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like a pretty classic case of &quot;night terrors&quot;, named not because the baby is terrified, but because he &lt;em&gt;appears to be&lt;/em&gt; terrified. Typically, it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is seen in preschoolers (as early as 5 month, but peaks at 3.5 years of age)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;occurs at the same time after falling asleep every night in the early part of sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;happens during deep non-REM sleep when transitioning from one sleep phase to another&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eyes might be open, but child doesn't appear to be registering caregiver, rather seemes dazed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is similar to sleepwalking, and children usually outgrow it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can be worse with fever, stress, sleeping in unfamiliar surroundings, sleep deprivation/tiredness (so midday nap is important), or an overfull bladder&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A doctor's physical exam should be done, and if sleep-disordered breathing is suspected, a sleep study may be ordered. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Treatment involves attention to the above, plus&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;wake your child about 10-15 minutes before you expect a sleep terror episode. Keep your child awake for a few minutes to disrupt the transition, and then let him fall asleep again. Repeat x 7 nights. If sleep terrors recur, repeat cycle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;keep the child safe; don't try to wake the child &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;warn babysitters and tell them how to deal with them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For further reading, see Sleep Terrors at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/night-terrors/basics/definition/con-20032552&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emedicinehealth.com/night_terrors/article_em.htm#night_terrors_overview&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;emidicine&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/night-terrors&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Ask Dr. Sears&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-04T23:02:52.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12072" CreationDate="2014-11-05T03:21:28.757" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When kids feel under pressure it's common for them to regress to acting like a younger age.&#xA;At 3 they very much live in a world of emotions, so even how you are behaving or when you are stressed they can sense this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like @tomas said it seems like she's wanting your attention or the attention of her father (but we need more details as your info here was a little unclear).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When young children are acting up it usually falls into a couple of camps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) They are tired/hungry and just need to be fed/put to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) They are testing boundaries&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) They are dealing with emotions&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they are doing No 2 you need to be more clear on boundaries (eg stricter) when they are doing No 3 you need to focus on warmth and connection and showing them they are safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="749" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T03:21:28.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7327" CreationDate="2014-11-05T03:52:02.257" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered co sleeping?&#xA;This way you dont have to worry about A hurting your younger baby B.&#xA;Once your younger kid attains 3 years of age, you can shift him.in the same bedroom of A.&#xA;So this way, they will have a playroom and a bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T03:52:02.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16505" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-05T09:55:21.450" Score="8" ViewCount="1451" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3yo daughter has water warts (Molluscum contagiosum). This causes spots but has no other effects that I know of. We've already been to the doctor. I'm not seeking medical advice here. We have a diagnosis already. It's a very minor childhood ailment which the NHS describes as &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Molluscum-contagiosum/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot;&gt;generally a harmless condition&lt;/a&gt;&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her elder sister had it as well and for her we got some Salicylic acid on prescription from the doctor, which we had to paint onto the spots morning and night. And that was ok at first but after a while painting on the stuff became very painful. She was very brave and we did get rid of the spots, but in retrospect it wasn't really worth doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So with child 2 we're just leaving them untreated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are other parents' experience of leaving water warts untreated?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-11-12T20:52:10.773" LastActivityDate="2018-02-21T15:28:46.627" Title="Parents' experience of leaving water warts (molluscum contagiosum) untreated?" Tags="|pre-schooler|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14869" CreationDate="2014-11-05T10:07:02.067" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;May be your baby is gonna grow up into an electrician ( as she loves wires).. Lol joking :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give her food items like noodles which thin and cylinderical like wires. Dont worry about the thickness or consistency. Hopefully your baby wont notice it.&#xA;Also an advice, dont keep your baby anywhere near wires. If the child doesnt see it, then the temptation to chew or eat it will be less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T10:07:02.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-05T10:07:27.353" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a male and owning a penis for as long as I can remember, I have found that aiming here is most efficient for minimal ricocheting&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/eR8cY.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11460" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T10:07:27.353" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2014-11-05T11:07:41.537" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the answers already given, I'd also add &lt;em&gt;My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic&lt;/em&gt;. Almost all the main characters are female, yet the plot lines are not all stereotypical girly-girly things. (My 4-year-old son likes it almost as much as my 5-year-old daughter.) Cupcakes and butterflies are balanced with action and adventure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ponies are all different colours, but colour is not considered an indicator of race. Rather the &quot;races&quot; are unicorns, pegasi, etc, who are all shown to get along very well. The only episode I can think of where racial prejudice is directly addressed is &lt;em&gt;Bridal Gossip&lt;/em&gt;, where a zebra that gets treated as a bit of an outcast turns out to be very nice. (And ends up as a recurring character in later episodes.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The producers are of course mostly just trying to sell you plastic toys, but that criticism can probably be levelled against most TV these days, and in the case of &lt;em&gt;My Little Pony&lt;/em&gt; they seem to have realised they can be more effective at selling toys if they produce a good show that people actually want to watch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6511" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T11:07:41.537" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-05T12:29:03.330" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some urinals provide an aiming point:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/LAF6om.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9910" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T12:29:03.330" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16495" CreationDate="2014-11-05T12:48:06.010" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other parent seems to have taken a cue from you.* You didn't say anything and let the her deal with it, which sends the message that it doesn't bother you on behalf of your son. And when that happens repeatedly, the simpler path for her to take was just let her child have the toy -- that way, it doesn't get stolen anymore and she doesn't have to discipline anymore, problem solved. :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;* &lt;strong&gt;I &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; mean that this is &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; fault&lt;/strong&gt;, nor do I think her eventual response was appropriate for either your child (who &lt;em&gt;repeatedly&lt;/em&gt; lost the toy) or hers (who learned it's OK to steal if nobody fights back, and that his mom will eventually just ignore bad behavior). I wouldn't have done the same if I were in her position, unless the other parent explicitly stated &quot;oh, your boy can have the toy&quot; — and even then I'd attempt to seek some sharing arrangement where the kids play together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intervening in somebody else's parenting is often interpreted as stepping in to discipline, but can also take a positive aspect: thanking the toddler for returning the toy (&quot;Thank you, Child is glad to have that back! I'm sure he'll let you play with it soon&quot;), and a brief thanks to the mother (&quot;I appreciate you helping out in that situation&quot;). If this is her first child, she's still learning about this whole parenting thing, too. Getting positive reinforcement from other parents is a nice thing, and it can proactively send a message about what boundaries you're establishing for your own children. Playgroups can be about parental bonding just as much as giving small children a chance to play together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-07T11:25:12.643" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T11:25:12.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-05T14:24:34.563" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as i have tested, the best way is to hit a wall being the angle bettween your liquid and the porcelain as small as posible, allowing the fluid to stick to the toilet and be slowed and scrattered/spread enough to not splatt at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really folks, just test by yourself&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11463" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T14:24:34.563" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16495" CreationDate="2014-11-05T14:29:59.723" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the most important concerns for a young child is to not have the things they are using taken away from them. Allowing another kid to take your child's toy is not sending the message &lt;strong&gt;you need to share&lt;/strong&gt; it sends the message &lt;strong&gt;you cannot be confident that I will protect your right to keep using the toy&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to take the toy back from the other child and say &lt;strong&gt;little Suzy hasn't finished playing with it yet.&lt;/strong&gt; Then with both of the children you can say, &lt;strong&gt;Suzy, when you are finished with the toy, will you give it to Johnny?&lt;/strong&gt; Suzy should agree to this. Then you enforce this by protecting Suzy's right to play. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can inform the other parents of your view, namely, that &lt;strong&gt;you don't think that other kids should take the toys your kid is playing with until your kid is finished&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the approach recommended in the book &lt;em&gt;It's OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids&lt;/em&gt; by Heather Shumaker. This book is full of very useful ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T14:29:59.723" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16420" CreationDate="2014-11-05T16:35:03.763" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;He clearly feels safe and secure with you around, and much less so when you're not around, which is normal to many degrees. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have had some issues with this kind of thing, and what we did was to make friends with one of the other parents at the daycare, and then he has a friend we can invite round and play with consistently. Once he then feels safe with someone else, and then playing at someone else's house, he may then feel comfortable to be playing away from Mum and Dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact is that it won't last. As I said, you can help him make friends by inviting them over for tea and so on and see how things progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T16:35:03.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-05T17:25:14.580" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;By the looks of the toilets....I would say sit backwards for number 2 since that is where the big hole in the toilet is,and you can hold on to the back of the toilet at the sametime. As for guys urinating...try sitting down so you don't spread your urine,(germs) everywhere, that is being hygienic and courteous of others. If you insist on standing,try tossing a piece of toilet paper in first, it reduces the splash the same as when you do a bowl movement. There is nothing worse than being splashed with toilet water on your bum or touching a wall coated with someones urine. Think about it...would you like it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11464" LastActivityDate="2014-11-05T17:25:14.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16495" CreationDate="2014-11-06T02:44:30.600" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I firmly believe that when a parent brings their child to a shared play area or play group, then they confer to the rest of the attending guardians the right to interact with that child. (I also believe that each attending guardian has a shared responsibility to ensure the safety of the children and the surrounding property.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, if another child is just taking toys from your child, I believe it is within your rights to address the other child. I would calmly retrieve the toy, and say something to the effect of, &quot;I'm sorry, my son was playing with that, so I need to take it back. But, if you ask him to share I'm sure he'll let you play with it.&quot; I usually make it a little more personal by adding my son's name. If I don't know the child I'd ask for theirs, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, with your son only being a year old, he may not get what's going on anyway, and the other child is really just asking you for permission (which is fine). The older child, however, does understand. You're teaching him, at the very least, that your child isn't easy pickings, and at best you're reinforcing his parent's lessons about sharing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's necessary to have to go directly to the parent of the other child, unless they are doing something that's actually harmful to your child and they need to be physically removed. If the other adult happens to be uncomfortable with you speaking directly to their child, but you were being courteous, respectful, and calm, then the fault is with the other adult. If they don't want to be around other adults who take the supervision of other children seriously, then they're free to not attend the communal activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my personal experience (I have a 20 month old), this technique works for both myself and my wife. Our apartment complex has a shared playground, and one or both of us are often out there supervising. Some of the other younger children don't have very good sharing skills, so we often have to address them and ask for toys back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, are general preparation for this activities follows this plan:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring toys with the intent of sharing some of them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If another child would like to play with a toy our son is actively using, we ask our son if he wants to play with another toy instead.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If we want to encourage sharing and playing together, we'll get down with our son and invite the other child to play with us (and offer that child one of the free toys).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If we don't want to lose track of all of our toys, we will tell the other children that they can play with them but they have to stay in [this] area.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I do not allow any children to take our toys onto playground equipment, and will take/ask for them back if they do. (There's too much liability.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If our son is adamant about not sharing a particular toy at that moment, we usually try to capture his attention with a different activity or different toy. This is fairly easy at his age, and prevents focusing on the negative behavior.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes we just have to say, &quot;No.&quot; But usually, it's more like &quot;I'm sorry, he just started/is really interested in playing with that. When he's done, he'd be happy to share.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our son gets older, I know we'll have to resort to other techniques. That's an answer for another question, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T02:44:30.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6983" CreationDate="2014-11-06T03:01:02.627" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to show a child that something like homework is important, then you need to &lt;em&gt;show&lt;/em&gt; them it's important and not &lt;em&gt;tell&lt;/em&gt; them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would set aside time with him specifically for working on homework, and help him with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best learning most often happens at home. In this case, you're not only helping him learn his school material, but you're teaching him that the things that are important &lt;em&gt;for&lt;/em&gt; him are important &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really believe he needs help, outside of school, from either you, the other parent, or some sort of tutor. If he really enjoys hockey, but even that's not enough of a motivator for him, then he may be blowing off homework because he feels something like, &quot;I'm never going to get it anyway&quot;, and gives up from hopelessness. He needs assistance in learning how to overcome this obstacle, learning that difficulties like this can be overcome, and that being a hard worker is the most valuable trait he can have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you feel hopeless about something, punishments won't have any other affect than increasing that hopelessness. As the pressure to perform continues to build with each new punishment, the ability to perceive a way through continues to degrade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son isn't finding the assignments difficult, but rather too easy (and thus a waste of time), then time should still be set aside to work with him. This could easily become a time to praise him for his work (and also reward him.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T03:01:02.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14869" CreationDate="2014-11-06T03:15:29.103" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son went through a &quot;must have electrical cords&quot; phase that coincided with his longer &quot;everything must go in my mouth&quot; phase. So, I've had this issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is how we dealt with it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hide the cords (often behind furniture, under rugs, etc).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be mindful of the child in areas with cords that aren't hidden, to quickly remove them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unplug things that don't need to be plugged in when you're not using them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't give them a substitute.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving your child something &quot;instead&quot; of the cords can teach her that playing with the cords gets her something. In the case of food items, as others have suggested, she may learn that pulling on cords earns her a &quot;treat&quot;. Although, for a 7 month old, I wouldn't recommend most of the solid foods mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This behavior required vigilance on our part. We lost one or two cheap micro-USB chargers that weren't plugged in, but it was a small price to pay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter really just wants something to chew on (and isn't specifically interested in the cords), then I suggest preventative substitution. Make sure she has a chewing toy that &lt;em&gt;she likes&lt;/em&gt; within her reach, so that she reaches for that instead. This can be difficult. For my son, we had to try half a dozen or more different styles of teething toys to find one he liked. As he grew his preference of shape/size changed as well, and it didn't coincide with the labels they put on the teething toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T03:15:29.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16342" CreationDate="2014-11-06T05:42:27.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young children tend to sleep a lot more deeply than adults, so I don't think this is something you can teach them. Even if your child learns how to do this while she's awake, she most likely wont be able to do it in her sleep. We just try to always use very light (but warm) duvet's rather than much heavier blankets. This tends to help prevent them getting kind of tangled up in them. Also keep the room warm enough so that the covers don't need to be pulled all the way up. We try to make sure ours are only covered up to their chests. They figure all these things out in time on their own. Until then just check on them occasionally through the night and they'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11289" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T05:42:27.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15086" CreationDate="2014-11-06T05:59:38.377" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe it is important to speak to kids on their level without dumbing down the vocabulary. If they need to know what something is called, then they should be told what that thing is. Whether it's a body part, an injury, an illness, or a bodily function.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's equally important to teach them the proper words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Males do not have pee-pees. They have penises &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; testicles/scrotum. (I'd opt for testes, to start, as it's easier to say). &#xA;Females do not have coochies. They have vulva. A vagina is not an obvious external feature, so the word may not need to come up very early. However, its wide misuse may cause it to be brought up. &#xA;Everyone has genitals/genitalia. I believe calling them private parts is appropriate, but not if that's solely how they're called. A &lt;em&gt;penis&lt;/em&gt; is a private part, as is a vulva. This leads into explaining why they're private, when they should be seen, and when they should be talked about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't believe in tummy aches. Is their stomach bothering them, or their gut? There's a big difference in preparation for about to throw up versus about to diarrhea. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There aren't boo-boos. You get hurt, a cut, a scratch, a scrape, a bruise, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you allow your child to have a stronger vocabulary then you can communicate with them more easily. You also encourage their observational skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While in many cultures it's not acceptable to speak about genitalia in public, it's also the case that children aren't always good about following social convention. I don't believe a child asking a question that others feel is inappropriate is reason to be embarrassed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I don't believe it's right for others to make you feel embarrassed about your child exhibiting child-like qualities. Children will lose those qualities soon enough without others trying to speed up the process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The correct response to a question you feel is embarrassing is to answer the question correctly, as if they asked you why the sky is blue. It's okay for that answer to be,  &quot;I will tell you when we get home if you ask me then.&quot; or &quot;I don't know.&quot; Being outwardly perturbed sends the message to the child that they can't ask you about things, or teaches them they can get a fun reaction out of you by asking certain things. Calmly, matter-of-factly answering their question validates the child, encourages inquisitivity, and demonstrates to the surrounding public the appropriate way to handle sensitive topics in public. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T05:59:38.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8552" CreationDate="2014-11-06T06:19:26.117" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your friend is completely out of line by not allowing your child to physically restrain the 2 year old to avoid being hit. This is a perfectly reasonable, non-aggressive response. If the 2 year old doesn't like it, then she will eventually learn that it is her hitting behavior which is causing this undesirable outcome (being restrained). Your friend is telling you that your child should learn to assert himself peacefully, but she is preventing him from doing just that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your friends actions suggest she really does not care a great deal about the well-being of your child. In this situation he's not just dealing with a toddler bully (which left to his devices he could easily handle), but more concerningly he is having to deal with an adult bully (your friend), who is condoning the hitting behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway you need to step in at this point and tell your friend that your son must be allowed to defend himself in a non-violent way (even though her child may not like it), or she should keep her daughter away from him, so that he doesn't need to defend himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a natural environment free from modern social constraints, if a 7 year old was being hit by a 2 year old, he would simply knock her down, and she would very quickly learn her place in the social hierarchy. Obviously this sort of violent response should not be condoned, but he still should be allowed to use a moderate physical response to defend himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11289" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T06:19:26.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16523" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16524" CreationDate="2014-11-06T07:25:23.113" Score="23" ViewCount="8011" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a child, my parents always made me finish my food even if I was already full. Food definitely isn't wasted this way, but overeating is not good either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be the advantages and disadvantages of making/forcing a child to finish their food even if they are already full? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the sake of this question, disregard the child's food preference (i.e. he doesn't not finish his food just because he doesn't like the food)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11145" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T08:08:25.820" Title="Making the child finish their food even if they are already full" Tags="|discipline|food|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2014-11-09T19:48:52.093" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16523" CreationDate="2014-11-06T08:22:41.537" Score="54" Body="&lt;p&gt;Advantages....&#xA;None&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disadvantages...&#xA;It creates unnecessary conflict with the child, and it compromises the child's natural ability to self-regulate food intake based on nutrition requirements. As long as children are offered healthy food (no junk food) they will naturally eat what they need and no more. Forcing them to finish their plate can potentially lead to eating disorders, and/or obesity later in life. It teaches the child that they should eat food because it is there, not because they need it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This notion that it prevents food from being wasted is complete nonsense. If the child is eating more than they require, then the food is wasted anyway, as the body can't effectively use it. It either stores it as fat, or simply passes it through not properly digested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11289" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T08:22:41.537" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5933" CreationDate="2014-11-06T08:30:29.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;During pregnancy it would be wise to 'feed' your wife exactly what she wants. In all seriousness though, my own observation is that this is a myth. My wife likes all sorts of food that our children wont eat. Also each child has their own preferences even though she ate pretty much the same things throughout both pregnancies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11289" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T08:30:29.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16526" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-06T10:21:06.397" Score="2" ViewCount="714" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dad jokes are a type of joke that can (typically) only be told by a dad that is often perceived as embarrassingly bad (especially by the children of said dad). Dad jokes often, but not necessarily, involve some form of pun or wordplay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A well known example of a dad joke would be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child: I'm hungry!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While these jokes often evoke groans rather than laughter form children, they may be remembered fondly years later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are some dad jokes that you have used successfully (or that have successfully been used on you)?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11472" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T16:15:12.170" Title="What are some good &quot;dad jokes&quot;?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2014-11-06T13:22:50.540" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16526" CreationDate="2014-11-06T12:16:26.057" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like to joke, but my 2 year old is too young for word-play Dad jokes. If slapstick silliness counts as a &quot;Dad joke&quot; then this is my favourite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A &quot;tickly spider&quot; (actually my hand) creeps towards my daughter. I point it out and pretend to be worried. She starts to snigger as it gets close then it jumps on her causing a lot of giggling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't work if she's tired or upset. So it's one way to work out if she wants attention or comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the second round the tickly spider turns on Daddy, who tries to look genuinely frightened, maybe falling off his seat. That's usually even funnier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4031" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T12:16:26.057" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16526" CreationDate="2014-11-06T12:24:44.837" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my personal favorites goes as follows: (Best used when driving by a city and you have a good overview of it. &lt;sub&gt;even better at a lookout point when having a meaningful moment together.&lt;/sub&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dad: There are going to be thousands of people in Dover&lt;sub&gt;1&lt;/sub&gt; tonight&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: Why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dad: Because they live there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;1: My dad didn't say Dover, since I didn't grow up in England but rather Belgium, I doubt many people know Leuven though.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11472" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T12:24:44.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15062" CreationDate="2014-11-06T13:56:23.727" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's anything quite like what you're after. But the site &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com&lt;/a&gt; has a lot of critical (as opposed to systematic) reviews of a wide range of parenting practices, and cites all its references.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11422" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T13:56:23.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16473" CreationDate="2014-11-06T14:14:47.067" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any man who urinates naked soon learns where to aim, depending on what he feels splatting up his legs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aim for the water!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11476" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T14:14:47.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16523" CreationDate="2014-11-06T14:47:20.110" Score="52" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is what my mother did with us (it wouldn't work with very young children; I can't recall what she did then):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were never served food. It came to the table in whatever pot it was cooked in, and placed on a block of wood (to avoid burning the table). We then served ourselves out of that pot (or those pots, pans, whatever, depending on what the food was). And we were encouraged to take small helpings: take a large helping, and half the food is cold before you eat it; take a small helping, and when you go back for seconds the food in the pot is still warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum up:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You help yourself to a &lt;em&gt;small&lt;/em&gt; amount. You then eat it. You are then free to come back for seconds. And thirds. Fourths too, sometimes. But you always clear your plate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Benefit: Any leftovers are still in the pot, not scraped off a plate, so everyone's happy when they turn up again at the next meal. No food is wasted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other benefit: You learn to judge how hungry you are, and to serve yourself an appropriate portion size.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worked for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1920" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T14:47:20.110" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16523" CreationDate="2014-11-06T16:26:03.470" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's quite easy to find information on this study.  The gist of it is that if you force to your child to eat everything on their plate, they are more likely to become obese as an adult.  That's messed up, so... please don't do this to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;New findings have shown that pushing children to eat everything on their plate has a direct link to obesity. The University of Minnesota has published a study that shows this forced eating can be linked to unhealthy eating habits when the child gets to adulthood. Interestingly, while these kids may be at a normal weight at the time, this changes later in life.&quot; - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dietsinreview.com/diet_column/04/forcing-kids-to-clean-their-plate-may-cause-obesity-study-suggests/#18YHSxWgA2Pqu83z.99&quot;&gt;http://www.dietsinreview.com/diet_column/04/forcing-kids-to-clean-their-plate-may-cause-obesity-study-suggests/#18YHSxWgA2Pqu83z.99&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11481" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T16:26:03.470" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11618" CreationDate="2014-11-06T17:55:56.267" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ideally the friend would be conscious enough that, even though e-cig smoke is claimed to be harmless, she would opt to refrain from smoking around a pregnant woman or at least ask if she minds first; of course not all people think of these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that she's visiting a friend, and assuming the friend isn't socially conscious as described above, then the simple answer is &quot;discuss it in advance&quot;. Your coworker knows her friend smokes e-cigarettes; her friend knows (or will know, as of this conversation) that she's pregnant. If she politely makes it clear to her friend that she'd prefer the friend not smoke in her presence while she's pregnant, the friend has the choice of either agreeing to not smoke in her presence, or postpone their meeting until after the pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people believe everything they read on the internet and will insist that e-cig smoke is harmless because they read it in an article on someblog.com (in &lt;em&gt;my opinion&lt;/em&gt;, it may indeed be harmless, but will take more research to confirm or refute). If your coworker's friend is one of these unfortunate types, then the discussion gets down to brass tacks:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I would prefer that you not smoke in my presence while I'm pregnant, &lt;em&gt;regardless&lt;/em&gt; of whether the smoke is harmful or not. This is not about whether e-cig smoke is harmful, but about me avoiding any unnecessary risks to the health of my unborn baby, proven or otherwise. I would be happy to visit you, but if you will not respect my wishes and concern for the welfare of my child, then we will need to wait until after I've had my baby to meet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7796" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T17:55:56.267" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16523" CreationDate="2014-11-06T18:18:18.123" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will have disputes with your children. That's inevitable, so you should avoid creating them when unnecessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I often ask myself &quot;Is this a fight worth winning?&quot; If the answer is no, I don't make it an issue. I think &quot;cleaning your plate&quot; is such a case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="6145" LastEditDate="2014-11-07T01:09:08.940" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T01:09:08.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16523" CreationDate="2014-11-06T18:34:27.267" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had significant battles with both of our children (still ongoing with our 2 year old) over eating more, and we've had to force the issue on occasion.  A couple points to keep in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our children are both built very slender, and they are considered under weight.  We've been encouraged by their doctor to do what we can to get more calories into them (and if we allow them to stop early sometimes, they usually complain of being hungry later)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even with that, we have never forced them to &quot;clear their plate&quot;.  The amount of food on their plate is an arbitrary measure compared to the amount of nutrition that their body needs to function properly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the &quot;pro&quot; to making your child eat more is that sometimes you know more than your child what is actually good for their body, but you shouldn't necessarily assume that unless you've been given advice by your doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;con&quot; is pretty much everything else.  There's no reason to force a child to eat if they've gotten enough nutrition and they are full.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11193" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T18:34:27.267" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16523" CreationDate="2014-11-06T18:56:35.970" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason &quot;for&quot;, generally, is grounded in a largely depression-era concern that you may not have enough nutrition/calories in the future.  Literally, you need to eat it or you might starve.  That was a concern in the 30s, and people raised then often took that to heart and kept it in the 50s and 60s when they were having kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there is an additional issue worth addressing.  Kids often prefer not to eat dinner, because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They want to play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They want to have dessert&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They don't want to try new things&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of those things are important, and need to be addressed as separate issues (which we have many questions about).  &quot;You must finish your whole meal&quot; isn't likely the right answer, though; see the other answers for some links to studies specifically covering why not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have two well-built children (neither fat nor slender, and height-wise in the 80-90th percentile for their age).  We mostly don't worry about how much they eat, unless there is a dessert; in that case we enforce minimums, but fairly low minimums - on the principle (which we tell them) that if they're not hungry at all, they shouldn't have the dessert either.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not optimal, but we don't want them skipping all of the nutritious food.  It almost never needs to be done, though, because we a) give them food that tastes good, and b) have worked to teach them why they eat dinner.  We also require them to be at the dinner table for the duration of the meal, regardless of how much they eat, which sometimes can be a struggle, but works out okay for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-06T18:56:35.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2014-11-07T14:54:39.467" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I, too, am struggling with the uncontrolled laughter of my 22 year old son with ASD.  He has always laughed occasionally at inappropriate times, but now he is older, more is expected of him, and it is very disruptive at school and at home.  He, too, laughs when I get angry at him--I do believe that anger is a frightening emotion for people on the spectrum and they don't know how to process it.  I am sure that your daughter is picking up on the stressful environment at home and it is not helping her control her emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing I have found that helps when my son is laughing inappropriately and/or showing obstinate behavior is to walk away and not engage him.  It is infuriating to have your child laugh at you when you are trying to tell them something and it can escalate quickly into a very bad situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not &quot;any&quot; child that we are talking about and people with ASD do not express/process emotions the same way as neurotypicals.  In that state, anything you say to them is white noise and is not even listened to--so don't bother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she is in a more lucid moment, tell her that, in the future, you are going to walk away when she laughs or misbehaves and do it each time.  Tell her that you will also take away something that is meaningful to her, like her phone or computer privileges, if she acts like that, for a period of time.  This morning my son was, as he is quite often, totally appropriate, easy to talk to, and sorry that he went from laughter to anger and back in such a short time last night. We discussed how his laughing is difficult for others and he vowed to do better.  I do not believe that it will happen overnight or that the laughter will ever be totally extinguished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think uncontrollable laughter is a characteristic of many people on the spectrum and that the catchword to always remember about autism is &quot;inconsistency.&quot;  But, you can show your daughter, during her more attentive and lucid moments, that her behavior is not appropriate and that you will not engage her when she is in that state.  See if you can find positive things that will destress her when she is in that mood, like reading a book or listening to music.  And best of luck--I certainly feel your pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11500" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-07T15:16:17.143" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T15:16:17.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16541" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16543" CreationDate="2014-11-07T15:20:26.803" Score="5" ViewCount="29338" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's the best surface for my daughter to learn crawling ?&#xA;We usually put her on our sofa, but we are afraid it is too small and too soft. Also, the risk of falling is too high, now that she's becoming mobile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also tried the floor (wood flooring) but we are afraid it is too slippery and she could bang her head on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would a carpet do the trick ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T00:02:47.753" Title="On what surface should a baby crawl" Tags="|infant|safety|crawling|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16505" CreationDate="2014-11-07T15:22:46.993" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just got through a treatment course with my 5 year old daughter. My experience was that the bumps spread like &lt;em&gt;crazy&lt;/em&gt; while they were left untreated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I have two caveats:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My daughter has eczema and the bumps were causing local itching, which creates more spots through &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molluscum_contagiosum&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;autoinoculation&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I told her to be careful not to scratch them about the same time we went to the doctor&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if they aren't causing discomfort and itching, I suspect they may go away. That was the first advice of the doctor. She did become more careful about scratching them and that may also have helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as home remedies, we did try a few things, including tea tree oil and apple cider vinegar, but both of those were painful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22395586&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;dermatology research paper&lt;/a&gt; suggesting tea tree oil, combined with iodine can be an effective treatment, but around me, I couldn't find the combination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, my daughter seemed to tolerate the prescription gel (condylox) better than any of the home remedies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T15:22:46.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16541" CreationDate="2014-11-07T15:44:50.903" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regardless of the surface, there will be falls and bumps as she learns to crawl (and, later, walk). Keeping her at floor level is a good plan, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two things I'd suggest looking for: reasonable traction and moderate padding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The traction is more important for learning how crawling works than for potential slips causing injuries. If her legs and knees keep sliding out from under her, she'll never figure out crawling because she can't even get herself up on all fours. (A hardwood or tile floor is only going to be slippery if she's wearing pants/tights, which would prevent her from getting good traction with her knees and legs. However, her hands are what is really providing support for her upper body and head; those are unlikely to slip much on a hard surface, so there is little head-bump risk.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The padding prevents her from having &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; hard bumps on the head (although I would not worry much about bumps -- it's not from a great height). Carpet provides good traction and also a moderately padded surface. If you live somewhere with only hard flooring, a blanket spread on the floor can provide padding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ironically, I think my daughter ended up falling face-first more often on a particular carpet in her grandma's house because it had a lot of static cling with her pants, which threw off her movement :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T15:44:50.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16541" CreationDate="2014-11-07T15:56:17.297" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Carpet is good for crawling. If you don't want to lay a full carpet you could get a rug. We found a rug better than a blanket as the blanket can bunch up under the baby as she moves. A rug should be big enough for the learning stage. Once the baby gets more confident, she will be able to crawl anywhere, including the wooden floor. I wouldn't encourage her to crawl on a raised surface, babies can easily surprise you by suddenly doing things you don't think they are capable of. Carpet has the added benefit of being a bit warmer but the baby might not care about that. Once they get going, it's hard to stop them going wherever they feel like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T15:56:17.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16545" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-07T16:16:39.727" Score="2" ViewCount="417" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure as to what to opt for. My twin girls have completed their 12 months of age. This whole year I have not been able to sleep properly or have my alone time. I love them a lot and instantly bonded with them after their birth, but didn't receive any help after my surgery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, now I want my babies to be babysat or in playschool for 3 or 4 hours daily so that I can get space and my own sweet time. Also, I wanted to add there are no parks nearby home. There are no other small babies also nearby, so I want them to interact with babies of their age. So will a childminder be the best solution?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Additional information&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We have a wonderful playschool near our house. Babysitting is also common but professional childminders are rare, charge exorbitant prices and also use smacking as a means of discipline.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A babysitter is someone coming to your home and taking care of a child. A childminder is a trained professional who takes care of kids in her place, so we need to take our child everyday to her home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-05T12:50:36.723" LastActivityDate="2019-03-07T00:05:10.917" Title="Babysitting vs Childminder vs Playschool for 1-year-old twins" Tags="|toddler|daycare|twins|babysitting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-11-07T16:59:19.367" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parenting aside, as a life strategy I would recommend your child completing multiple internships before graduating into the real world.  often simply getting a degree is not enough to get a job these days. Also the experience could guide the direction of his future studies. Getting paid is not exactly the issue at this point. It is the experience that is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9870" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T16:59:19.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16545" CreationDate="2014-11-07T18:03:16.277" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;That really depends on your babies and where you feel they would best thrive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would pick a place based on which one exposes your babies to other children &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; has the higher caregiver to child ratio. That way, your babies will get the benefits of being exposed to other babies/children (important not only for psychosocial reasons but also medically for their immune systems) but also be more closely supervised and maybe have more adult interaction. Do keep in mind that the one with the most children will mean your babies will be catching colds more often. If you can deal with twins who are sick at the same time, bless you. But I'd go with this route personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just be sure to ask around. Hear what experiences others have had with your possible choices, check out the facilities for cleanliness, babyproofing, etc., and enjoy your freedom. You've really earned it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T18:03:16.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16541" CreationDate="2014-11-07T18:23:38.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a laminated wood floor (rather slippery for floor-to-cloth contact), but we had some clothes with non-slip rubbery patches on knees that were helpful. Similarly, for starting to walk, some baby tights/socks have those rubbery &quot;dots&quot; on their soles which prevent that slipping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6818" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T18:23:38.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16471" CreationDate="2014-11-07T18:57:54.830" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try this link: &lt;a href=&quot;http://media.safety1st.com/~/media/safety1st/products/car-seats/infant-car-seats/us-alpha-elite-65/manuals/usermanual_safety1st_alpha-elite-65.ashx?vs=1&amp;amp;d=20140703T141738&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://media.safety1st.com/~/media/safety1st/products/car-seats/infant-car-seats/us-alpha-elite-65/manuals/usermanual_safety1st_alpha-elite-65.ashx?vs=1&amp;amp;d=20140703T141738&lt;/a&gt;.  It's the manual for the model 65.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11503" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T18:57:54.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16471" CreationDate="2014-11-07T22:46:11.597" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Saftey First has a search engine &lt;a href=&quot;http://safety1st.djgusa.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/InstructionSearchView?storeId=10154&amp;amp;catalogId=10051&amp;amp;langId=-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, one other option is to go to Amazon, where if you can find the exact same item, you may be able to get the manual from there.  In your case I didn't find it, however.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T22:46:11.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16541" CreationDate="2014-11-07T22:51:59.620" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We didn't have any trouble with crawling on a hardwood floor, but we did provide a small rug (an Ikea-type children's playmat) for the winter months when the floor was colder.  Carpet has its own downsides - it's slower, for one, which while for you might be nice, for the kid will be irritating.  Hardwood has an additional advantage: it's noisy, so you know where she is.  Carpet can be eerily quiet, and you might sometimes lose her for a minute (which can be very unnerving, if generally harmless).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to avoid is socks without traction on hardwood floors.  Especially in the 8 to 15 month range when the child could begin standing up, socks without traction bumps are extremely difficult to manage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-07T22:51:59.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16554" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-08T03:30:45.523" Score="3" ViewCount="569" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do, my husband and I didn't have a good way of going until about a month ago. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last year in August his ex started harassing us every time we got his daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His anxiety got the best of him and so he didn't get her for a few weeks hoping it would stop, then our vehicle tore up and we couldn't afford one for a few months when we finally got one it didn't run a month. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole time we were letting her know what was going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that he has a depindable way of going. She won't respond to his text and she isn't showing up at the city hall on his weekend and we don't know what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can she legally get away with this just because we don't have money for a lawyer?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, my husband has a child with his ex and the last time we tried to reach her on Facebook she threw a fit about it and then had something drawn up by a lawyer saying that we had to contact her only by phone and that we are to have a phone for her to be able to contact us at all times and we have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as our vehicle situation and any other time that we couldn't get her, we let her know usually 24 hours ahead, if it was possible. On a few occasions our car broke down on our way to get his daughter and so we called and texted her and got no response. We are trying so hard. We want to get his little girl. We have missed her so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11513" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-11-09T00:50:26.497" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T01:52:55.427" Title="Visitation issue" Tags="|divorce|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16471" CreationDate="2014-11-08T03:46:22.810" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I looked the model up and it said to contact them at this # and they will send you one in the mail. 1-800-544-1108&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11514" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T03:46:22.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16554" CreationDate="2014-11-08T13:29:04.453" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I understand your question correctly, you and your husband have not been picking up his daughter for his regular visitations - partly because of transportation issues, and partly because his ex was unpleasant to him and he stayed away to avoid that. While you &quot;let her know what was going on&quot; you probably didn't make specific plans about when things would be back to normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you'd like to get back into the rhythm of visitation but she is not communicating or appearing at the pickup. Any number of things could be happening. First, she could be in the very same boat you were - either transportation issues or being upset over the interaction between her and your husband. Second, she could be angry and trying to punish you for skipping visitations. Depending on how old the child is, the child could have been upset by short-notice cancellations, or a belief that the reason for the cancellation wasn't &quot;good enough&quot; and you should have visited anyway. Third, she could be unaware that you were ready to start again this time for completely mellow reasons - for example maybe her phone is broken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, you need to solve the communication issues first and foremost. Since you mention &quot;city hall&quot; as the pickup location, I suggest you talk to the people there who help arrange the pickup or visitation. Ask them what you can do. There are probably advisors for people in your situation - not everyone can afford a lawyer, and children should not be in suboptimal situations just because one or more of their parents can't afford a lawyer. Even if nobody there can help you, perhaps they can recommend another agency that will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep sending pleasant texts such as &quot;sorry things didn't work out on [date]; we're looking forward to seeing [child] on [next date]. Anything we need to know before then?&quot;. If you have another way to communicate, such as email, calling a landline, or sending a message to a friend or relative, try those too - but keep them happy and friendly. &quot;Your $^^%# daughter is keeping me from my kid, tell her if she knows what's good for her she'll be there this weekend&quot; is going to make things much much worse. But &quot;Do you know why [ex] isn't answering my texts about [child]? She missed visitation this weekend and we were really looking forward to it. Hope there won't be an issue next weekend. Let me know if you have a way for me to reach her before then.&quot; might actually get you somewhere. At the same time, get advice from someone who can help in your jurisdiction and who knows the specifics of your case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. Maintaining a relationship with your child while that child lives with someone you're angry at is very difficult. Keep telling yourself that what you and your husband are doing is hard work, and it's work you're doing for that child's sake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T13:29:04.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16560" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-08T16:09:18.793" Score="11" ViewCount="66329" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12 year old daughter has been dealing with retentive encopresis since age 6. She avoids going to the toilet at all. This results in soiling and the production of an amazing huge toilet-clogging log-like object every week. We have been trying for years to get her to talk about this, but when we do talk about this, the response is ALWAYS &quot;I don't know&quot; despite what her pedi, GI doc and psychologist tried to do or suggested we do to get her to talk about it. We switched psychologists last year after a year of not talking about this, no luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried so many treatment plans since diagnosis, specifically tailored to her, such as enemas, scheduled toilet sittings, rewards, consequences, psychologist, etc. she just keeps holding it in. Right before summer, her pedi and the GI doc laid out a clear treatment plan of laxatives, regular bathroom visits, and a rewards program. She did take the Miralax (2 table spoons) but she just kept holding it in and soiling her pants. She avoided going to the toilet. I made her stay at the toilet and told her &quot;if you poop, I will buy you XYZ&quot; (something she REALLY wants)&quot; you can do XYZ only after you poop&quot; and not letting her do things &quot;you can't do XYZ until you poop&quot; and XYZ would be something she LOVES to do. I wouldn't let her leave the toilet until she pooped, so she sat there for hours, no luck. When school started, she refuses to take the Miralax.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we laid out a new treatment plan. We TRIED to involve her, the response is again &quot;I don't know.&quot; She is supposed to take an enema every morning and sit on the toilet, but she fights daily about taking it. When she does take it, she holds it in and won't sit on the toilet. There is also a diet plan she refuses to follow. She is not supposed to drink dairy, but drinks milk at school. Now the past 2 weeks she refused all treatment which we fight daily about. She refuses to sit on the toilet, no matter what we try. 2 years ago we tried ucanpooptoo, didn't help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We asked her why she holds it in. Does pooping hurt? Does it scare you to poop? Does it feel good to hold it in? The answer is always &quot;I don't know&quot; and you can question her for hours and hear &quot;I don't know&quot;. We explained to her digestion and she knows why she needs to poop. We ruled out any physiological reasons for retention. Luckily her friends don't notice, but one day her friends might smell her soiling, and I talked to her about this, how it would affect, boys , high school, etc. Her response was &quot;I don't know&quot; and she would not talk about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anybody have suggestions how to get her to start pooping in the toilet regularly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11521" LastActivityDate="2016-04-10T17:34:42.640" Title="Encopresis, I'm at my wits end? Does anybody have suggestions?" Tags="|pre-teen|encopresis|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7574" CreationDate="2014-11-08T16:33:42.230" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We simply didn't go to church, pray, or talk much about God in our home because, well, being atheists, God and religion aren't an issue we spend time on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Round about second grade, it came up with our oldest. She asked what church was, and why people went there. I think it was annoying that so many of her friends were unavailable on Sundays. We told her some people believe there's a powerful being called &quot;God&quot; that created everything and watches over everyone, but that mom and me had never seen any reason to believe that was true, and that her friends went to church to pray to and sing to God.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It never really came up again, until she became politically aware, and became disgusted at the way fundamentalists push their beliefs into public policy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Yeah, trying to force everyone to live a Biblical lifestyle is forcing religious beliefs into public policy. Live your life according to your beliefs, and let others do the same.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Little sister seemed to figure it out, or perhaps she asked big sister, because she's never brought it up with us. She's the fourth family science nerd after me, (math/physics), mom (biology/chemistry/medicine) and big sister (conservation biology).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T16:33:42.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16554" CreationDate="2014-11-08T16:36:08.763" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/16558/9826&quot;&gt;Crys&lt;/a&gt;'s answer is great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Co-parenting is tough, particularly if the other party is harassing or trying to make it unpleasant. But for the sake of your husband's daughter, please stick with it. It's important to &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; to see her dad, and hopefully to see an alternative way of life. If his ex-wife is harassing &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; you don't know what kinds of things she may be saying to his daughter. So it's important for his daughter to see that he loves her, he misses her, and he (and you) want to be part of her life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, as to the legality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a legal visitation agreement, it's &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; at all legal for her to block visitation rights, regardless of affording a lawyer. If there' &lt;em&gt;isn't&lt;/em&gt; a visitation agreement worked out with a judge, it's probably legal, but a judge won't be happy to hear about this kind of thing. (My ex-wife denied visitation rights while I pushed for shared custody of our kids, and the judge got very angry with her and her lawyer.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say where you live, but in the US, and in most countries, there are public, government-paid family lawyers. &lt;strong&gt;Their job is to advocate for the child.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Laws vary considerably, and I'm not a lawyer. But as I said, if there's a binding agreement saying that your husband has visitation rights, a judge will quickly rule for your husband. More importantly, your husband's ex-wife will &lt;strong&gt;need to pay the legal and court fees.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there isn't a binding agreement, it may take a while, but your husband should be able to get some visitation rights. As I said, at least in the US, family court judges favor the &lt;strong&gt;child&lt;/strong&gt; and will be unhappy to hear that a father is not being allowed to see his daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, you should be able find a public lawyer to take your case at no cost to you. Usually at family court, you can ask about these arrangements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and please stick with it for the sake of your husband's daughter!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-11-08T16:36:08.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16563" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-11-08T16:44:16.627" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the US, the term co-parenting is often used for two separated or divorced parents attempting to parent their shared children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The principle of coparenting, is that a child &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; has the right to maintain a stable relationship with both parents, even if they are separated or divorced, unless there is a clear need to separate them from one for the interests of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This right is based on the concept that to be a parent is a commitment that an adult takes with respect to his/her children, not to the other parent, so that it cannot and must not be influenced by separation or divorce or dispute among parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, in rare cases, such as an abusive parent, the interests and safety of the child override any co-parenting rights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastEditorUserId="9826" LastEditDate="2014-11-09T14:02:41.440" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T14:02:41.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16564" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-11-08T16:44:16.627" Score="0" Body="Co-parenting describes a parenting relationship, where the parents are not in a marriage, living together, or in a romantic relationship with one another." OwnerUserId="9826" LastEditorUserId="9826" LastEditDate="2014-11-09T14:02:16.933" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T14:02:16.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16560" CreationDate="2014-11-08T21:13:47.050" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are online 'parents of encopresis' support groups. A quick googling came up with several. Interacting with other parents in this situation may help you, and might give you ideas on what to ask your child's doctors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When encopresis is this entrenched, you need a multidisciplinary specialist approach: if she has never been hospitalized, she should be, in a children's hospital, like Boston Children's or Seattle, Cincinnati, Children's Hospital of Philadelphia etc. where they routinely deal with encopresis. There are Children's hospitals in your state. This is where they will not only evacuate her thoroughly and start a new plan that is tailored to your difficulties, but they will also do any necessary tests that haven't been done, such as a spinal MRI, blood tests, a biopsy of the descending colon (if needed) to rule out a gut wall abnormality of innervation/smooth muscle, a few family therapy sessions to get you all on the same page, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as she can hold her stool, she will. It's usually because their sigmoid colon is so distended that she no longer feels the &lt;em&gt;urge&lt;/em&gt; to push - and having someone sit on a toilet for an hour will not stimulate her to &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; an urge to push. If it's not there, it's not there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are probably aware that the colon has to remain (relatively) empty for a while for it to get back into a state where she actually has an urge to pass stool. Her intestine and rectum need to be retrained to gain control over bowel movements. This takes time.  A frustrating amount of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have diabetes, hypothyroidism, IBD and Hirshprung's been ruled out? I would be extremely surprised if they had not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that often &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; work with encopresis:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Punishing or humiliating a child with encopresis.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Expecting a child to &quot;explain&quot; her encopresis (can you explain why your heart beats the way it does?) She actually &lt;em&gt;doesn't know&lt;/em&gt; why she can't go more often.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Giving her an enema every morning &lt;em&gt;before school&lt;/em&gt; (perhaps you should pick a time when she won't drip the rest of the day). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Forcing her to sit on a toilet for an hour.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fighting with your child about it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say she isn't compliant with her diet. Do you have any food in the house that she shouldn't eat/drink? How is she getting around this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't just a difficult problem to deal with; it's an &lt;em&gt;enormous&lt;/em&gt; problem, and you, as parents, might feel less helpless with some support from a group, or maybe a therapist specializing in this problem. I can only begin to imagine the pain you're going through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T08:41:25.670" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T08:41:25.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16554" CreationDate="2014-11-09T01:28:39.013" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a little shocked by the answers so far. I am not a lawyer, but I am someone who &#xA;handled his own child's custody case by himself without an attorney.  I'd like to clarify a few things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The mother &lt;em&gt;can do whatever she wants&lt;/em&gt;, but it does &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; mean that it is the correct thing.  How she tells the story in court will matter a lot -- a claim of abandonment, for example, is very damaging and though she has to prove it, can be hard to disclaim.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not everywhere has free attorneys to help you -- in my county, they did not!  What they did have was an office to help those representing themselves &lt;em&gt;pro se&lt;/em&gt; in court.  They can give you legal guidance, but will not prepare your case.  Here are some questions which will help you to get answers which are useful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What paperwork do I need to file when &quot;...&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What paperwork do I need to file to waive the cost of filing? (NOTE: Not all counties make the wealthier person pay things, but they do have paperwork to waive filing fees for those who are low income.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have an example of paperwork filed recently for a case similar to mine?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Treat every court clerk or representative as your best friend. They &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; give you a lot of help, but they are by no means required to provide such help. A lot of rude, self-presuming people bother them every day, so they are used to casting people aside, but when someone is friendly, honest, and complimentary, they will open up and be the same (in many cases).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;By absolutely no stretch of the imagination should you consider that all judges in all counties are biased for the child.  They &lt;em&gt;should be&lt;/em&gt;, but some are more biased towards the mother... and some are even more biased toward the father.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;DO NOT keep sending her messages!  That can be considered a form of harassment.  If she has a lawyer, official communication &lt;em&gt;ought&lt;/em&gt; to be done through the lawyer.  This includes notices of an inability to meet at a pre-ordained time (and in such cases, if allowed, with the other party, too). She can say, for example, that she did not receive the message. The lawyer is substantially less likely to make such a claim as a &quot;friend of the court&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The discussion regarding meeting at the courthouse is irrelevant. She either has an order keeping him (and perhaps you) away from her house or it is simply defined as a neutral meeting ground.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you do have a custody agreement and these actions are in violation, filing with the court is your only recourse.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Every court has its own set of rules... learn them and live by them when you are at court... an angry/agitated judge is not a friendly judge.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Never speak in terms of the other parent, yourself, or any problems. Always speak in terms of the best interest of your child. This is true at court, when talking with the other parent, and when contacting the lawyer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE: Your statements will be manipulated!  Take, for example, &quot;We want to get his little girl. We have missed her so much.&quot; Another inconsiderate person could translate that as, &quot;It doesn't matter if we can't take care of her or might break down on the way back home and she will suffer, &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; want her because we miss her!&quot; Bone-chilling to read, but you'd not be the first for whom that has happened.  On the other hand, saying, &quot;We know she misses her father and that quality time will help her, so we've done everything we can to make sure she can spend the time with him she wants.&quot; comes across in a completely different light -- it was all about her.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Write your daughter letters and send them by registered mail to the attorney for delivery to your daughter.  Keep a copy of the letter and the registration and receipt of the letter. Hopefully they get to her and will at least serve as maintaining some kind of relationship with her while the details are worked out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Document &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;: Date, Time, Duration, What was said by both sides, Reason for the interaction, &amp;amp; any comments. When it's needed, such documentation will be a god-send.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A fight with another parent is never fun.  The key thing is to do what you can and never lose sight of the most important thing: the child(ren).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best in your endeavor and I wish your child the best, too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-11-09T01:52:55.427" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T01:52:55.427" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16569" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16570" CreationDate="2014-11-09T01:49:49.000" Score="3" ViewCount="1976" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://mutsy.nl/uaen/service/carryme/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mutsy Carry Me&lt;/a&gt; and although it says it is for newborns we are not sure what is the safe duration/time limit for carrying them around. Is there any specific guidelines as to this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11527" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T12:23:04.403" Title="How long can a newborn (2 week old) sit in a carry me" Tags="|newborn|safety|transport|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16569" CreationDate="2014-11-09T02:19:26.360" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I frequently front-carried my children (from newborn through toddlerhood) for hours at a time. However, we had a sling and so they were more curled up: no dangling legs until they were older (around the time they had neck control and wanted to be looking around all the time). I'm therefore making some guesses when I say it should be safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did read over &lt;a href=&quot;http://mutsy.nl/medialibrary/242/.pdf?download=true&quot;&gt;the Mutsy user manual&lt;/a&gt;, however, and it includes nearly a full page of warnings, including ones about neck safety, potential smothering positions, and monitoring body temperature. If an infant could suffer harm from being carried in that position for two hours (just as an example) then that should be mentioned in the instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most newborns tend to need feeding or changing every couple hours anyway, so you are likely to be taking him out regularly anyway!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T02:19:26.360" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16569" CreationDate="2014-11-09T12:23:04.403" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are two aspects to your question which need to be considered:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carrying a baby in general (using any type of carrier)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your particular baby carrier&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding point 1, carrying a baby using a baby carrier is thought to be good for the baby in many ways, especially for a newborn. It is especially popular in attachment parenting and often referred to as babywearing. Articles on sites such as kellymom (&lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/sling/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/sling/&lt;/a&gt;) or other attachment parenting proponents such as William Sears (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/baby-wearing/benefits-babywearing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/baby-wearing/benefits-babywearing&lt;/a&gt;) suggest that baby wearing can reduce crying and fussing, improve learning, help with bonding and is helpful for breastfeeding. It seems that such sites suggest carrying your baby as much as possible and I don't think they suggest there is a limit to this in terms of safety. &#xA;Also, whether you are into attachment parenting or not, carrying your baby can have big advantages for convenience as other people have mentioned allowing you to get on with other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For point 2, I don't know your particular baby carrier but from pictures it looks similar to the Baby Bjorn which is something I know better. People who know more about carrying babies than I do, tend to dislike this type of baby carrier, saying it can be bad for babies' hips and can put excessive pressure on the crotch area. It is recommended that babies should be carried with their knees above their hip level and I think this is especially important for newborns. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried to find a good source for this information but I don't know something that's reasonably 'official' or well regarded. From a Google search you can find out lots more if you are interested. But it seems to me that there may be better options if you are planning to carry your baby regularly. You mention you have a sling and that sounds like it could be better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said this, I carried my baby in a Baby Bjorn carrier to start with and I think many new parents do. But once I found out about the potential problems with this type of carrier and tried other styles, I found these to be more comfortable not only for the baby but also for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in summary, I think you can carry your baby as much as you both enjoy it but it may be worth reconsidering the type of carrier you use, especially if you are using it for long periods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, there are specific guidelines for safe baby wearing here in the UK called 'TICKS' which you can follow to reduce risks when carrying a baby for extended periods. You can find these guidelines here:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/sling-safety&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/sling-safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T12:23:04.403" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16560" CreationDate="2014-11-09T19:39:33.033" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried letting go and not talking to her about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me this sounds like a control issue. This is one thing she can control, so she probably does this to feel in control. Stop focusing on this, stop chaperoning her to the toilet, stop the rewards, treatments, punishments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She probably doesn't want to talk about it because it's embarrassing. I mean, would you talk about your toilet habits to your friends? No. I think you need to see a &lt;em&gt;psychologist&lt;/em&gt; as it will help with your frustration over this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11533" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T19:39:33.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14290" CreationDate="2014-11-09T20:21:51.000" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell your child that abusing and hitting is not acceptable.&#xA;If your son is jealous because of the attention that may be his sister recieves, then hug him and tell him how much he means to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-11-09T20:21:51.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16505" CreationDate="2014-11-09T22:32:15.080" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Home remedies for this condition are all based on eliciting an inflammatory (therefore painful) reaction. For example. One remedy uses the secretions of &lt;em&gt;blister beetles&lt;/em&gt;, which raises a blister under the wart (lifting wart and all). Blisters are pretty widely recognized to be painful.*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether in prescription medicine or home remedy form, there are three ways to treat water warts: destruction, immunomodulation, and antiviral treatment. By far, the home remedies focus on destruction, which is painful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Treatment of mulluscum contagiosum seems to involve a lot of tradeoffs: money vs. time vs. pain vs. efficacy vs. expedience vs. other. Even though it's a common pediatric viral infection, there is still no solid agreement on the best way to treat it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a link to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.earthclinic.com/cures/molluscum_contagiosum.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;lengthy discussion&lt;/a&gt; of home remedies. I hope it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt; I once handled a blister beetle in my garden, before knowing what it was. It was worse than getting stung by a yellow-jacket wasp. From that time on, I never forgot to wear gardening gloves around them.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2017-01-13T14:24:13.527" LastActivityDate="2017-01-13T14:24:13.527" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2014-11-10T06:24:03.597" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, I want to clarify that I'm not 100% sure how to pick a show that doesn't have gender stereotypes, if the &quot;hero&quot; of the show can't be a certain gender. In the question, it was outline that &quot;Super Why&quot; was not a good fit, because the hero is a male and the sidekicks are female. Thus, I'm assuming that a show with a female hero and male sidekicks is equally guilty of gender bias. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, my few recommendations are based on shows available on Netflix in the US. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my favorite children's shows that I've come across is &quot;Justin Time.&quot; It's about a boy who runs into some problem at home, and then goes on an imaginary adventure that ends up addressing that problem. In his imaginary adventure world he always meets his friend Olive. Olive is portrayed as a bright, capable girl, and I don't feel like she's a side kick. She usually enlists Justin's help, but she also teaches him. He also a has a sidekick in an imaginary friend, Squidgy, who is made out of clay. Justin is white, but the skin coloring given to Olive is ambiguous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really enjoyed the character Olive in this show, and often found myself disappointed that she was imaginary (in the context of the show). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that the relationship between the two characters is one of mutual love, friendship, respect, and admiration. While the show is &quot;about&quot; Justin, it would not be complete without Olive. Thus, I don't feel he (nor she) is the &lt;em&gt;hero&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another set of shows are the &quot;Leap Frog&quot; brand shows. They have a mixed cast of male and females which I can't be bothered to remember. The characters are all animals or anthropomorphic letters/numbers. I can't stand the music in this show, or it's format, but I haven't noticed anything regarding gender roles. Race isn't addressed, on account of them not being human (but they haven't used racial stereotypes for voices).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also enjoy a show called &quot;Signing Time!&quot;. It's a live action educational show centered around teaching sign language. The show is hosted by a woman (Rachel Coleman, but not named within the show), and features clips of children of all shapes, sizes, and colors showing how to do the signs. The two stars of the show are Alex and Leah. Leah is Rachel Colemans actual daughter, who is deaf, and Alex is her cousin (though I'm not sure that's in the show, either. I presumed they were siblings.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That show is not only entertaining for our son, but it helped us learn some ASL that we taught to him. (Our son is not deaf, but signs have been invaluable communicating with him.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no experience with other shows that I feel would meet your qualifications. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make this a &quot;complete&quot; answer, and not a list of opinions, I would provide the following guidelines:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look for shows that don't have humans as the cast. This can make it easier to eliminate racial bias, as race isn't usually in the mix. However, use of ethnic stereotypes as character types (or voices) might be more difficult to predict.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't eliminate shows that portray males as the lead. While gender bias would have males as the hero all the time, it doesn't mean a male being the hero is invalid. It's just as valid as a female, or a non cisgender character being the hero.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most shows don't have androgynous/non-cis gender characters, so it can be impractical to try to find a show without any gender bias. Off the top of my head, the only show I can think of that would fit that is Teletubbies.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-10T06:24:03.597" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2014-11-10T13:35:43.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_Guppies&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bubble Guppies&lt;/a&gt;: six half-human, half-guppies, each with own characteristics, go to a school and learn about things. No special characteristics (gender, skin color, hair color etc.) is even mentioned, and all have different roles in each episode.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2014-11-10T13:35:43.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16460" CreationDate="2014-11-10T13:43:23.340" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have some good news and some bad news. Good news is, this behaviour probably isn't strictly related to the toxic relationship between you and your wife. For the bad news, re-read the good news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/favoring-one-parent/?page=1&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;At around 2.5+, your child works out that one way to get a little bit more attention is to make you a little less secure about their affection&lt;/a&gt;. Anecdotally, my 2-year-old daughter occasionally says &quot;I don't like Daddy&quot;, or pushes me away in favour of mummy. Note that they only do this &lt;em&gt;to parents they feel secure with&lt;/em&gt;, because they wouldn't risk it if they were scared of your reaction. Which is not to say that it doesn't suck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're suspicious that your ex is fostering this behaviour, you need to talk to her about it non-confrontationally. And if that's not possible, then you need to accept it as something you work around. But it may genuinely be simply your son's natural behaviour, and in that instance any suggestion that you're accusing her is going to be completely counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing is not to allow the toxicity between you and your ex to bleed into this normal behaviour. This kind of emotional manipulation is hard enough to deal with when your partner's being &lt;em&gt;supportive&lt;/em&gt;, if you start competing without a bedrock of mutual respect, then it's going to go to hell faster than you can say &quot;custody battle&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's some good advice for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/favoring-one-parent/?page=2&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;coping strategies here&lt;/a&gt;, but the key thing in your case I think is to &lt;strong&gt;ask your ex what she thinks you should do&lt;/strong&gt;. Don't suggest that your child's favouriting her because it's &quot;her fault&quot;, suggest that she's clearly doing something better than you, and you'd like her help to ensure you can still have a relationship with your son. Praise her relationship with him (which is &quot;apparently 100 times better than yours&quot;*) and ask if she's found certain things he enjoys doing with her that win her the points.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, she almost certainly needs your support as much as you want to give it (when parenting solo, I'd accept help from a horror movie clown if I thought I could trust it), it's just there's too much emotion, pride and history of mistakes in the way. Asking how you can help better, &quot;because clearly you're about 99 points behind&quot;, is one way to approach it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if your relationships at the stage where asking this would just lead to a row, then &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*: Obviously, as everything around this states, that's not the case, but having my relationship with my daughter praised is always nice. And spinning it as &quot;he's praising mummy&quot; instead of &quot;he hates daddy&quot; is a good approach too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-11-11T10:44:58.433" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T10:44:58.433" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14290" CreationDate="2014-11-10T16:17:40.927" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She should certainly not be blamed for his behavior, but (speaking from personal experience) it is very possible that she does provoke him. They will both grow out of it eventually, but in the meantime, if your daughter indeed does or says things to your son that are not nice, put some blame on her as well (although obviously less blame than for hitting). I don't think you can expect a 12-year-old to keep his cool under constant teasing the same way an adult does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7953" LastActivityDate="2014-11-10T16:17:40.927" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6035" CreationDate="2014-11-10T17:25:24.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hungry ? (She drinks her last bottle of milk around 8pm.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could well be hungry. Offer her more milk (when she cries in the night) and see if it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Maybe teething? (every night, don't think so)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could be every night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tried &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.boots.com/en/Boots-Teething-Gel-3-Months-Plus-15g_8624/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;teething gel&lt;/a&gt;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tried baby painkiller e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.calpol.co.uk/our-products/calpol-infant-suspension&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Calpol Infant&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a scale of 1 to 10 (where &quot;1&quot; is &quot;I am mildly concerned about the world economy&quot; and 10 is &quot;My toes are being eaten by a wolf&quot;), how distressed is the crying? How long does it go on for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're checking her nappy (diaper) each time, right? Any nappy rash?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be worth trying carrying her in a sling for a few hours during the day or in the evening:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sling babies cry less. Parents in my practice commonly report, “As long as I wear her, she’s content!” Parents of fussy babies who try babywearing relate that their babies seem to forget to fuss. This is more than just my own impression. In 1986, a team of pediatricians in Montreal reported on a study of ninety-nine mother-infant pairs. The first group of parents were provided with a baby carrier and assigned to carry their babies for at least three extra hours a day. They were encouraged to carry their infants throughout the day, regardless of the state of the infant, not just in response to crying or fussing. In the control, or noncarried group, parents were not given any specific instructions about carrying. After six weeks, the infants who received supplemental carrying cried and fussed 43 percent less than the noncarried group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/baby-wearing/benefits-babywearing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/baby-wearing/benefits-babywearing&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I understand that the problem is at night not during the day, but getting them more comfort during the day can help them to sleep better).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have there been any recent changes in your baby's life or your family's life? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-11-10T17:34:12.753" LastActivityDate="2014-11-10T17:34:12.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16545" CreationDate="2014-11-10T22:26:08.543" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently went through a similar experience of choosing childcare for our baby who is a bit younger than your twins. It's a tough decision and of course you want what's best for your babies and you need to feel comfortable with where they'll be going if you want to be able to relax while they're away. I found some useful information in some of the other questions and their answers here. Try browsing through questions tagged with daycare. Some which I found particularly useful were &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7624/does-daycare-mentally-damage-children-under-three&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11644/best-age-to-start-a-daycare&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's generally considered that younger children need more continuity of care to feel secure and they need more individual attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my experience with my baby, we started him off in a nursery (which I guess is similar to your playgroup) because we didn't know much about the other options. However, we soon decided we didn't like that environment for him as we didn't feel he was getting enough attention to be happy and thrive. That was even with a smaller child:staff ratio than your playgroup - nurseries in the UK are allowed up to 3 under 2 year olds per staff member. In our nursery, the staff seemed to change often even in the short time our son was there and I've heard similar stories from some friends here. It doesn't seem like he'd have had much chance to get to know any of the staff well to help him to settle in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We decided to move our baby to a childminder. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like childminders are very common where you are but here they care for a smaller number of children and are only allowed one child under a year old. Our childminder takes the children out regularly to groups and on other outings so they also get to meet other young children, therefore getting some of the things we considered would have been benefits of the nursery whilst also getting a bit more attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much of what I've written is only from personal experience and you may feel differently about your babies depending on their personalities. I also don't know if things would be different for twins. But overall, from what evidence I've seen and from experience, I would recommend trying to find something with fewer children per caregiver while they are still very small. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned that childminders there use smacking as a form of discipline. Perhaps if you were to interview a few potential childminders and/or baby sitters you could specify that you don't agree with that (assuming you don't) and only choose one which is willing to stick to your principles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you decide in the end, I really think it's worth seeing as many options as you can and seeing which you are most comfortable with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-11-10T22:26:08.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16584" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16585" CreationDate="2014-11-11T01:25:38.060" Score="9" ViewCount="1635" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just wanted to find out what the proper etiquette is when hosting a child's birthday party.  Should the gifts be opened during the party?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3497" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T12:43:12.387" Title="Open gifts at birthday party" Tags="|birthday|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16584" CreationDate="2014-11-11T02:06:57.940" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience (in the US), it is appropriate to at least open the gifts given by the attending guests, whether the guests are friends or family. This behavior is also reinforced in media portrayals of birthday parties. (Toy Story, for example, had all the gifts being opened at the party.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Indeed, one of the most exciting things at birthday parties is the chance to see what all the person received, and to see their reaction when they received it. I would hazard to say that it's also &lt;em&gt;expected&lt;/em&gt; by many people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The potential downside is your child receiving a gift they aren't enthused about, or already one they already own. While most adults can be understanding of this, the giving child may be disappointed if they notice the birthday child wasn't very thrilled. This can be mitigated by the birthday child thanking everyone after they receive each gift, and by the fact that guests will often clamor to have &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; gift opened next (which will shift everyone’s focus). &#xA;Opening the gift(s) from the parents is not always done at the party. It can be done during a private, family celebration of the birthday. Reasons I would do this are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The gift is one of a more personal/sentimental nature, and thus not appropriate or exciting for guests.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The gift is of much higher value than those expected to be received by the guests. However, some high value gifts (such as a new video game console) would be appropriate to give at the party if you coordinated with the guests and knew they were getting the child something to go with that gift (such as games or accessories for the console).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The gift is something that may put off other parents because they don't want to have to explain to their child why they can't have one (such as a first cellphone).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Multiple other answers have given many reasons for not opening presents at a birthday party. The reasons are valid, as cultures do vary. &#xA;To account for the varied expectations of your attendees, you can make plans regarding your specific decision. A few options I would suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Inform the attendees&lt;/strong&gt; sometime during the party of your decision. This can be easily be done during a general “agenda” announcement. “First, we’re going to do XX, then YY. At Z o’clock we’ll eat, followed by cake and ice cream. Afterwards, we’ll have a gift-opening ceremony.”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make attending gift-opening optional&lt;/strong&gt;. “At the end of the celebration, if you would like to stick around, we’ll be opening the gifts.”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; gifts to open&lt;/strong&gt; (such as those from the parents), but don’t open any of the guest gifts. These “prop” gifts could actually be things to be used/consumed at the party, along the lines of party favors, instead of typical gift items.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2014-11-19T18:37:25.043" LastActivityDate="2014-11-19T18:37:25.043" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16584" CreationDate="2014-11-11T04:46:53.943" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is up to the parents or the child. We've been to two parties, and neither opened presents there; some of that may have been the ages (3). Some also was the venue - limited time means removing boring parts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately there is no obligation to open presents there; it can be fun but it can also be boring and stressful. Choose what you are comfortable with and then send out thank you cards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T04:46:53.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16584" CreationDate="2014-11-11T06:20:02.807" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've dealt with this on a personal level with my children. We are a mixed race couple, and on my side of the family (white), family and friends all expected gifts to be opened. On my wife's side of the family (Asian), family and friends did not expect them to be opened. We too fell into agreement with our respective sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to be driven largely by culture, so the safest bet would be to make note of the customs observed by your children's friends, and follow along. Assuming you don't have strong opinions yourselves on the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for us, we've decided to alternate years. Even years we open. Odd years we don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final note: if you don't open presents in the presence of the gift giver, be absolutely, 100% sure to send thank you cards. Not that you should avoid it if they are there, but it's extra critical if they aren't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6927" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T06:20:02.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2014-11-11T07:35:44.647" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to come at this from the point of view of a student, and someone who moved from home when he was ready. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I moved from home when I was 20, because I felt the desire to be independent and self-sufficient. That was a result of my personality and preferences. This choice lead to some tough times over the next couple years, but the times I lived on my own were the only times I ever had to be responsible for much of anything, let alone everything. It forced me to learn how to manage what I had, in order to be comfortable. I learned to cook, clean, become handy, pay bills, budget for entertainment. Much of what I learned on my own would have been easier if I'd just been able to YouTube it back then!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward several years, and I'm an adult, married, non-traditional student at a university. I spent 5 semesters at a community college, during which time my son was born. I've had to have some work during that time, but I've been very privileged to not have to work much, and sometimes not at all. This is ideal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe education is paramount. I want to focus as much as my time on school as I can, and still have enough time for family, and relaxation. &lt;em&gt;Having&lt;/em&gt; to work during school adds another layer of stress that isn't necessary. It can certainly provide valuable experience interacting with others, but work is not the only place to learn work-related skills such as being a team member and being a leader.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Education is also incredibly expensive. Having to work while going to school actually makes it more expensive, presuming the student is the one who is going to be paying off the loans in the end. Every bill that you have to pay means increasing the minimum amount of time you can't focus on your education. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can financially and emotionally afford to continue housing him while he's in school, and he's making an effort to succeed in school, then I recommend continuing to support him. The key here is that he has to know he's able to take advantage of what being a member of the household offers so long as he is in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying to give him daily chores, at this point in his life, is a lost cause. If he doesn't have those habits from childhood, he's not likely to get into that mindset as a young adult. Especially since he is an adult now, whatever his level of maturity and independence. How I would see it, and how he may see it, is that the status quo has not changed. He's never had to perform daily chores without request. He's never had to pay rent, or buy his own clothes. He's been in school for as long as he can probably remember. Saying that chores, or rent are necessary because he's reached a certain age feels like an arbitrary condition. It would feel especially arbitrary if, during his upbringing, he was never given any indication that not only would more be expected of him as he reached specific age, but that expectation would be enforced!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's the case that the household can't subsist without his income, then I don't believe it's his responsibility to take care of the household. In this case, it would be reasonable to expect him to provide for his own food, and possibly an amount to cover his utility usage and insurance rates. Unless you'd be moving to a smaller, cheaper home were it not for your son, I don't see the reason in charging him rent. (Again, it's arbitrary.) The times I had to pay rent to different family members were very difficult, because I saw exactly what the money that &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; had earned was going to. It was worse than paying taxes. I don't feel that charging your child rent for space he's always been given for free is an effective way to engender responsibility. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The types of jobs that a never-employed 20 year old could get are unlikely to be edifying or worthwhile in the end. Having a job, just for the sake of having a job, serves no purpose. It &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be better on a resume after he graduates, if the job experience is relevant to his field. An internship or work study, even if unpaid, is arguably of more value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had plenty of jobs, most of them crappy, but none of them are relevant for my desired career, and I will leave as many of them off my resume as I can once I start looking for a position in my field. In my experience, employers have usually not been too concerned about my lengths of unemployment when I've been able to honestly tell them I was living with family and did not &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most valuable thing I learned at any of these jobs, that I couldn't learn elsewhere, was how awful they are. This helps motivate me to get my next degree. Working a job &lt;em&gt;sucks&lt;/em&gt;, to be blunt and coarse. I want a career, not a job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most reasonable thing to expect from your son, aside from school performance, is that he purchases all of his luxury items. The obvious ones are new video games, movies, books, eating out at restaurants, the junk food/drinks that only he consumes. The less obvious luxuries are clothes, personal toiletries (body spray, deodorant, special shampoo, toothbrushes, anything that only he uses), bedding. Those things are nice to have, and can make social situations easier, but they're still luxuries. If he wants them, he'll have to rack up the debt or find ways to make money. For my siblings, who still live with my father, it was this desire to buy their own luxury items that finally motivated them to seek employment. It had nothing to do with growing up or desiring responsibility. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to add that I don't think you've been a poor parent, or are doing anything wrong in this situation. I know that my written tone can often come across as harsh, when I don't intend to be, so I hope nothing I wrote came off as judgmental. Your living situation is similar to the situations I've experience, but from your son's perspective. The situation is how it is, regardless of how it got there. I empathize with your son, even though I don't agree with his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thrusting expectations of labor and currency on your son, when they haven't been required of him this far into his life, will most definitely have an effect on him in regards to responsibility, independence, stress, and education. Everyone will have a different opinion as to what degree and in which direction these things will be affected. My opinion is that it will be a net negative for him, especially in regards to school. Education is the surest way to rise through the ranks of society, and it's what needs to be the most emphasized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would continue to support him with school, and try to aim him towards finding activities, groups, clubs, or work, that fulfills him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he drops out of school, then I think it's fine to say all bets are off. Then he can learn, like so many of us, the drudgery of minimum wage work, and maybe decide for himself that school really was the better path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T07:35:44.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16584" CreationDate="2014-11-11T11:05:41.727" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At birthday parties here for children from about 4 to about 14 presents are not opened. The are received with thanks as guests arrive, sometimes with cards being opened, but then the kids want to play, run around, face paint, whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Benefits of this include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;being able to properly record who gave what - making organising thank you letters much simpler&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;less mess to tidy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no presents getting lost/taken/broken&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no bored children waiting around while presents are being opened&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T11:05:41.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16591" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16634" CreationDate="2014-11-11T11:20:34.360" Score="5" ViewCount="478" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son (about 7 years old) has a massive problem with bed wetting. He doesn't wake up at night, if he needs to pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;see also &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/9186/bed-gets-wet-nearly-each-night-although-diaper-is-worn&quot;&gt;Bed gets wet nearly each night although diaper is worn&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;meal time normally ends 6:30 PM, he goes to bed between 1 and 1.5 hours later&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(no snacks after that and it practically not the case that he gets thursty again and then drinks something after the end of this meal time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he goes to the toilet directly after the meal and then a last time directly before going to bed (between 7:30 and 8:00 PM normally)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he puts the diaper on directly before going to bed (to avoid that it is already used for convenience instead of using the toilet)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He still wears a diaper in bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We wake him once in the middle of the night (between midnight and 2 o'clock), send him to the toilet and &lt;strong&gt;change&lt;/strong&gt; the diaper!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still there are some days where even the second diaper is not enough and clothes and bedclothes get wet!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I heard that the food he eats in the evening might influence how much urine is produced during the night and that sweet food could stimulate production of urine while salty food could decrease it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where can I find more information about those biological relations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remarks: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;yes, I'm sure he puts the diapers on correctly, it's just that he really often produces a lot of urine during the night!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the specialised doctor advised us to try to increase the amount of drinking during daytime and decrease drinking during the evening meal, which is difficult.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I know that there is just a certain small percentage of children at this age (or older) with that problem (for the medical explanation see my older question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/9186/1092&quot;&gt;Bed gets wet nearly each night although diaper is worn&lt;/a&gt;). So that's &quot;OK&quot; for us, but we only try to find a practical solution which does avoid changing and washing bed clothes nearly on a daily basis, which takes a lot of time and effort.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(Water usage and the cost for sure is an environmental and economical problem, but in this case &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; our concern.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-11-14T19:45:05.970" Title="How does food influence production of urine during the night?" Tags="|diaper|night-time|toilet-training|enuresis|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16592" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16593" CreationDate="2014-11-11T11:36:48.333" Score="6" ViewCount="9930" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby was born prematurely and had to be bottle fed.  The nurses joked that she was a '&lt;em&gt;windy baby&lt;/em&gt;' when she was being nursed.  Now she's home and nearly six weeks old, she's devouring ample amounts of breast milk via a bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that she can take up to &lt;strong&gt;two hours&lt;/strong&gt; to burp after a feed.  Sometimes I fear this takes so long she actually starts getting hungry again.  During the night this is reducing our sanity.  All our friends say that their babies burp within a few minutes after feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone offer any help?  We've replaced the cheap supermarket bottles that were recommended for premature baby, with Phillips Avent, and now with Tommy Tippee &lt;a href=&quot;http://direct.asda.com/tommee-tippee-closer-to-nature-Easivent-Bottle-260ml-x3/002653478,default,pd.html?dual=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;anti-colic varieties&lt;/a&gt; with a medium-flow teat.  We've also tried Infacol (which made her worse!) and now Dentinox, but we're still not much better off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's growing fine, so maybe I shouldn't worry and just deal with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't believe I only asked this 8 days ago, it feels like a lot longer!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the difference in that time has been amazing.  She's winding loads better (between 5 and 45 minutes) and seems a lot calmer after feeding.  Tommy Tippee was the bottle that made a difference, although I think it was more due to a phase of growth and stomach development :-)&#xA;Anyway, I had 6.5 hours sleep last night and feel like a new person :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11544" LastEditorUserId="11544" LastEditDate="2014-11-19T12:34:08.153" LastActivityDate="2016-06-14T16:02:37.377" Title="Baby takes so long to wind, is there a solution?" Tags="|bottle-feeding|colic|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16592" CreationDate="2014-11-11T14:03:28.943" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say as long as she's not having an excess amount of gas pains then she's fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will always be some bouts of gas pain to deal with (at those times we found that moving my wee girl's legs around in a slow bicycle motion and tummy rubs tended to help).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As babies age their digestive systems change.  Her little stomach will grow and strengthen, she'll get better at eating and won't suck down as much air.  Her position when feeding may even come into play.  By the sounds of it (unless I read it wrong) she's latching on to the nipple well and just not sucking in much air and therefore doesn't have to burp it up as often.  Unless she has too much gas and it's bothering her, then the action of burping may not even be necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you said, she's growing well, so as long as she's a happy healthy active little bundle of joy then there's nothing to worry about and you're doing just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: Parent of a beautiful little girl&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11547" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T14:03:28.943" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16594" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16599" CreationDate="2014-11-11T14:43:24.420" Score="26" ViewCount="3157" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a relative with some sort of undiagnosed mental illness who (among other symptoms) compulsively cleans everything regularly with fairly strong bleach. Her fear of germs and infection is the most apparent symptom to my kids, who don't get hugs and know that Relative's house always smells like the pool and she's always vacuuming and wearing many layers of clothing to keep out infection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some ways that I can explain Relative's condition? I want to be honest and sympathetic about it, and explain how it reduces our ability to see her as often as we would like (she rarely leaves her home, and doesn't particularly welcome visitors since it requires additional disinfecting) -- we're not avoiding Relative, but it does interfere with normal interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The children in this case range from 3 to 10, and I'd readily expect that the discussion would change as they get older and more mature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-12T01:26:52.987" LastActivityDate="2018-03-06T15:11:10.327" Title="Explaining mental illness to children" Tags="|education|extended-family|mental-health|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16595" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2014-11-11T15:29:29.903" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mental health is defined by the World Health Organization as &quot;a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-11T22:22:52.280" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T22:22:52.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16596" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2014-11-11T15:29:29.903" Score="0" Body="Mental health includes emotional, psychological, and social well-being of children or parents." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-11T22:23:04.823" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T22:23:04.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16594" CreationDate="2014-11-11T15:51:07.157" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Hypochondria&quot; is a stigmatising judgemental term.  Use Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (a narrow term that covers some health anxiety) or Anxiety Disorder (a broad term that covers OCD and health anxieties) or Health Anxiety (a perhaps too narrow term).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say how old the children are.  For young children you use short sentences.  You explain the person is ill.  You explain that the person is getting help with the illness.  Older children will want to talk about emotions and what they've seen and how they feel about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a guide to obsessive compulsive disorder written for young children.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ocduk.org/childrens-ocd-guide&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ocduk.org/childrens-ocd-guide&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's another guide which has some nice information about the difference between normal worry and OCD.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/ocd.html#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/ocd.html#&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a guide for adults about OCD. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Obsessive-compulsive-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Obsessive-compulsive-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The NICE guide for OCD and BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) has a section about support for families of a person with OCD, and the support they can expect.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg031&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg031&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T12:15:41.553" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T12:15:41.553" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16584" CreationDate="2014-11-11T16:20:38.030" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We switched to opening them after the party and sending thank-you notes after our first attended a party around second grade where the host family did it that way. We were especially appreciative, as we were definitely the least wealthy people at the party, and likely had brought the least expensive, least ostentatious gift by an order of magnitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T16:20:38.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16594" CreationDate="2014-11-11T18:31:50.543" Score="41" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 10 year-old has obvious mental and physical symptoms of her cerebral palsy, so we've had this conversation many times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've found that adults are the ones who have problems coming up with explanations.  They try to overcomplicate it and be too politically correct.  Kids are usually satisfied with something simple and direct.  They ask out of honest curiosity, not out of malice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We often have kids ask, &quot;What's wrong with her?&quot;  While their parents are still stammering, we answer, &quot;Her brain is hurt because it got squished a little when she was born.&quot;  Sometimes they ask follow-up questions, which we answer just as directly, but usually the first answer is satisfactory.  The most common response is &quot;Oh,&quot; then they carry on with whatever they were doing before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your situation, I would wait until the kids bring it up with something like, &quot;Why couldn't Relative come?&quot;  Then just be direct.  &quot;She stays home a lot because she's worried about germs, but I'm sure she misses you too.&quot;  If they ask follow-up questions, answer those as directly as possible without going into long-winded explanations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would leave the illness out of it as much as possible, especially since it appears you don't understand it very well yourself.  Explain the symptoms in a matter-of-fact way, as a part of who she is, but not the defining part. Tell the kids other nice things about her that maybe aren't as obvious. Explain about the accommodations you expect them to make for her, but emphasize that outside those areas she should be treated the same as anyone else.  Honestly though, kids have a lot easier time accepting people's differences than adults do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-11-11T18:31:50.543" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16592" CreationDate="2014-11-11T20:54:05.313" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was born at 24 weeks and he would only burp after every second or third bottle.  The NICU doctors and feeding specialists all said it is normal and that some babies just do not burp like people expect since burps are just air in the stomach.  If you are really worried that she is swallowing too much air and for some reason is not able to burp then I would use a bottle with a liner to eliminate the back-flow of air through the nipple that sealed bottles have (my son hated both the bottles you mentioned and preferred the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.playtexbaby.com/products/playtex-nurser-with-drop-ins-liners&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Playtex Nurser&lt;/a&gt; bottles)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing of note is my son was fed &quot;sideline&quot; which affects how the liquid flows into a baby's throat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastEditorUserId="7756" LastEditDate="2014-11-13T14:45:21.907" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T14:45:21.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16594" CreationDate="2014-11-11T21:37:10.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, my wife was 11 before some kind stranger told her her mother was mentally ill.  It's a pretty simple concept.  I'm sorry Christine, but your mother is sick.  Until then she thought her mother's bizarre behavior was normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone had just explained it to her earlier a LOT of trauma could have been avoided.  Her mother has severe schizophrenia or whatever they are calling it these days, but because her grandmother was too &quot;ashamed&quot; or whatever to give it to her straight it really screwed up my wife's childhood.  Kids aren't dumb.  Tell them what is going on so they can make sense out of the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same goes double for drugs and triple for sex. If mother is a drug-addicted prostitute, say that. You can follow this up with a more nuanced explanation like &quot;It's not because of anything you did, and it's not because she doesn't love you, or that you're not worthy of love, it's because she's addicted and she HAS to do anything she can to get a fix, even if it means hurting those around her.&quot;  Now little Greg is armed with reality and can defend himself properly as much as possible both physically and mentally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOT telling your child is the moral equivalent having them cross the street blindfolded.  Nothing bad MIGHT happen but you sure as hell are responsible if it DOES.  Misguidedly trying to preserve innocence is not preventing harm here, it's causing it.  Just go straight for the throat of the problem and tear it out.  This goes for everyone with a problem, fathers who drink and beat people, crazy relatives, drug addicts, pedophiles whatever.  Lay it out so the child knows which side is up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lots of people are stuck in bad situations where the other choice is something worse.  But to a child, KNOWING that things aren't NORMAL gives them a chance to have a normal healthy life.  Denying them basic reality is like locking them in a closet so you don't have to see them cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case of something mild like OCD just say &quot;Yea, something's wrong with her, she's a bit crazy when it comes to cleaning, and that's not normal.&quot;  You can then go on with &quot;It's probably nothing to worry about.  If you see her doing something else thats really strange, talk to another adult about it.  We want to keep her safe.&quot;  Kids want reassurance and a way to calibrate 'normal' with what they see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11554" LastEditorUserId="11554" LastEditDate="2015-05-20T02:20:33.427" LastActivityDate="2015-05-20T02:20:33.427" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10476" CreationDate="2014-11-12T00:14:09.710" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personal experience, I told my son when he was 19, that his father had died 14 years ago, not in the car accident, as he'd grown up believing, but by committing suicide.  At the age of 4 I thought the death of his father was enough to bear.  I moved 250 miles away.  On reflection I would do the same again. My son has a very limited and happy memory of his dad, he bears me no ill will and is thankful I kept it from him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there is no right or wrong answer here.  The parent who is left to bring up the child or children should be supported in their decision&#xA;I have asked my son, 6 months after telling him, if he is angry, annoyed or reflective about his new knowledge, and he tells me no. In fact he states he is grateful he did not know. My husband committed suicide, I don't understand it, therefore I found it unnecessary to spend years trying to explain it to a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I attended a suicide group twice after my husband died, and to be honest was horrified at how many people were still attending the group years later. I asked my son if he would like to talk to anyone or attend a group his answer was an emphatic god no.  My focus was and is I cant change what happened, I chose to live not live with suicide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11557" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-18T06:27:43.660" LastActivityDate="2017-01-18T06:27:43.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16240" CreationDate="2014-11-12T09:28:42.870" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Where are the patrols when your stepdaughter is out at midnight? &#xA;If she is not allowed out after 7, how did she get out? Were you not at home? Who are her friends? &#xA;Where did she get the money to buy another phone? Why was the second phone not removed? &#xA;If she could be put in lockdown for not wearing the niqab, I am struggling to believe that she is either out till midnight, or speaking to a boy/man, never mind in a relationship.&#xA;Would you and your husband not be in serious trouble, if this we're true?&#xA;Does she live in another country, under normal circumstances, and is, maybe, not fully aware of the seriousness of the rules.&#xA;If she is aware, then you must keep her in for her own safety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11557" LastActivityDate="2014-11-12T09:28:42.870" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2014-11-12T10:21:52.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I keep the computer in my room, so basically whenever, my 14 year step daughter wants to.use computer, she needs to sit near me and do her stuff.&#xA;Also, my.husband puts password in the computer, so my step daughter can.use it only when.we type the password. So, this way we can keep a check on how much time she spends on computer .&#xA;Also we encourage outdoor playing.&#xA;She gets an.hour or 2 hrs everyday at computer which.is more than enough.&#xA;Also we havent allowed her to be.on any social networking sites like Facebook or Instagram.&#xA;Once, she turns 16 , we will lower the restrictions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11182" LastActivityDate="2014-11-12T10:21:52.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16591" CreationDate="2014-11-12T13:19:56.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;About one in forty children aged 7 will wet the bed at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This website gives some information about bedwetting, including information about treatments.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Bedwetting/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Bedwetting/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;sweet food could stimulate production of urine while salty food could decrease it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not give your seven year old child salty food in the hopes of preventing bed wetting.  That's borderline abusive.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes people make the mistake of restricting fluid intake by too much.  This means the child never learns the signals of a full bladder.  So, during the day you should make sure the child has enough to drink, but you should try restricting fluid intake in the evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Waking your child during the night is unlikely to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in England you can try applying to get a reduction in your water bill.  Most water utility companies have schemes where people with medical conditions that require a lot of washing machine use (eg people with eczema will use a lot of emollient which means they need to wash their bed sheets a lot) can get cheaper bills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2014-11-13T09:06:33.283" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T09:06:33.283" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16505" CreationDate="2014-11-12T14:59:45.350" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;These are very contagious, and can last anywhere from 6 months to a year, but will spread both locally and to other children if left untreated. Water warts are in a different family from normal warts and need to be treated differently; both because of their pathology and their contagiousness. I would recommend you find a dermatologist who is more familiar with the condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9057" LastActivityDate="2014-11-12T14:59:45.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16610" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16612" CreationDate="2014-11-12T18:52:06.697" Score="14" ViewCount="8166" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 3 kids and are currently managing fitting them in an Accord (Mom) and a Civic (Dad). The civic is tight but most of the time it's one parent with the kids in that one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recently found out number 4 is on the way and the great debate over Minivan or SUV has arisen again. We have a few months to battle but I (Dad) want the Minivan and Mom wants the Pilot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some obvious and not so obvious pros and cons of each?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any reasoning to convince my wife that the van is preferable or am I off base?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any other options for a third row seat other than van or SUV?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ages are 12, 7, 1.5, -6 months. And no scientific possibility for anymore. :/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11561" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2016-04-25T07:42:55.760" LastActivityDate="2017-05-12T14:45:52.253" Title="Which is better - a Minivan or a SUV - for a 4 kid family" Tags="|car-seat|transport|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16591" CreationDate="2014-11-12T19:07:26.423" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know about sweet vs. salty, but most food has at least some water content, and some food has a very high water content (think cucumbers). It's entirely normal to need to urinate some time after eating, even when you don't drink. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-11-12T19:07:26.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16610" CreationDate="2014-11-12T19:37:09.297" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although this is somewhat opinion-based as there are both minivans and SUVs which fit the bill, the advantages of the minivan over the SUV are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they are purpose built people carriers so they have features like sliding doors and removable and re-configurable seats that SUVs don't have, or at least not to the same level&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they are generally cheaper to own, operate, and insure&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they tend to take less space than SUVs which can take the same number of people, so are easier to park. Not that they aren't big, just not quite as big as SUVs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting small children into and out of them is going to be easier&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lower centre of gravity makes it easier to avoid accidents/rollovers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;SUV advantages over minivans:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More rugged&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;4 wheel drive allows for off-road capability and better traction in snow and ice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So which one to get depends on where you live, and whether you need the traction or off-road capabilities. If it's just because SUVs have a higher driving height then be sensible and get a minivan. You're going to have 4 kids, cool cars are out for you for the next 18 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="11566" LastEditDate="2014-11-13T08:22:38.360" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T08:22:38.360" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16592" CreationDate="2014-11-12T19:46:26.633" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although it's nothing to worry about having to wait 2 hours for your baby to burp is inconvenient to say the least, especially at 3am! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think dentinox helps much, it didn't with my kids, but it won't hurt to keep trying. For windy babies the best bottles out there are apparently the Dr Brown's, however the avent ones are also very good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be that your baby is not getting a good seal on the bottle. That may be the way the bottle is being positioned, try pointing the bottle so the teat is angled to the roof of your baby's mouth rather than straight to the back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you could try different burping techniques. I've had best luck when I put the baby on my knee, holding the baby's head up so it keeps their body straight up, then tapping their back. Over the shoulder works too, but I've found that can take much longer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2014-11-12T19:46:26.633" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16610" CreationDate="2014-11-12T19:49:44.963" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had both an Odyssey and a Pilot at the same time. I have to say, the Pilot was my dream car, but the back seat was only functional, i.e. not comfortable for long trips. Also, less room for said long trips. But the 4WD in the winter, the towing capacity, the visibility, etc., are a lovely memory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Odyssey was a much more comfortable car to travel distances in, and the extra length made roominess a wow factor with four kids on a trip. I loved the Odyssey's versatility, cargo room, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house, the driver got to choose. My first choice was the Odyssey. When my husband's car needed to be replaced, he took the Odyssey and I picked a Pilot (his decision, not mine.) Limiting factor with four kids is the uncomfortable rear seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your kids are young, still, and you only have one choice, I presume you'll be travelling in the vehicle you pick. We always used the Odyssey for trips - that was the preference of the entire family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're paying back for our extravagant cars now - both husband and I drive civics, as do all the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-12T19:49:44.963" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16610" CreationDate="2014-11-12T20:19:53.740" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;There really is no substitute for taking the entire family, including rear-facing car seat, for test drives.  Go to a crowded parking lot, park with cars on both sides, then get everyone out and back in.  Think about groceries.  Think about vacations.  Think about if a friend or relative comes with you.  Try all the seats yourself, because your 12 year-old will have adult-sized legs soon, and because you might get stuck back there yourself if you're going somewhere with grandma.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about what you'd do if the baby won't stop crying and you can't stop the car.  Think where you'd put diaper bags and purses and back packs.  Try to hold a conversation with the kids in the back seat. Try getting all the kids out on one side, like you'd do when parked on the side of a busy road.  Think about getting in and out when you're not feeling your best, like say, if you're 9 months pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those are the types of things that are going to annoy you about a vehicle after a while.  If all those factors come out the same, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; make a decision based on aesthetics, with the tie going to the main driver.  Most likely it won't come down to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-11-12T20:19:53.740" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16185" CreationDate="2014-11-13T00:09:09.747" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To the first question:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't think your son's behavior had a creepy vibe. He was &lt;em&gt;clever&lt;/em&gt; when it came to finding a way to unlock the door (something I figured out how to do around his age, but usually with paperclips or the inner part of a pen). After such an accomplishment, I wouldn't be surprised if he were trying to prove that he could get in the room no matter what. It was certainly negative behavior, but not atypical for a young boy(no matter where he lies on the extroversion scale).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Behavior such as that can come from a mixed state of emotions. If no one wants to play with him &lt;em&gt;at that time&lt;/em&gt; he may still have hurt feelings. I would talk to him to try and address his emotional needs, first, and resort to disciplining the behavior only if it continues. When a child has difficulty coping with emotions they can't fully process, they need to be trained how to handle their express. Using only punishment doesn't teach them the &quot;right&quot; way to express their feelings, just the &quot;wrong&quot; way. (It sounds like you've already been talking to him about his feelings, since he's expressed that he's lonely.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To the second question:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;To your son, this &quot;family&quot; alone time might very well feel exclusive. If everyone &lt;em&gt;else&lt;/em&gt; wants to be alone, then I don't expect he's going to endure the current structure very well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest, instead, that the family doesn't all have this quiet time simultaneously. I'm assuming that when are the ladies in your house are choosing to have quiet time, that you are home. In this case, I suggest some one-on-one time with your son. Even if you desire your quiet time at that moment, it'd be best to take it later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To encourage your son to come to you (or your wife, if the situation calls for it), rather than harass your other children, I recommend finding some sort of long-term activity he enjoys. You'd want this activity to be something that takes many days worth of quiet time to complete. It doesn't necessarily have to be playing a game or with toys. You could teach him some sort of skill or craft. Something that comes to my mind is having him assist with helping to make a snack for the afternoon (for the family), or maybe a dessert to go with the next meal. The reason this &quot;cooking&quot; comes to mind is that it's an activity that the whole family can appreciate, and will aide in increasing his self-worth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It'll be between you and your wife how you want to schedule the &quot;on call&quot; parent, if it won't be the same one every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To the third question:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Some children simply don't do well with hints, at all. If somebody is specifically wanting some time by themselves, and they know your son may encroach upon that, then it should be their responsibility to politely let him know that they don't want to be disturbed for &quot;a little bit.&quot; It may help if that family members adds a, &quot;I'll come get you when I'm done.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter can also be taught skills to handle such situations better. Instead of trying to block the door and screaming, she could just open the door, leave, and go get a parent. In many real-life situations involving people being difficult, the best solution is to just leave the situation and let someone (usually higher up in management) deescalate it. It may not be &quot;fair&quot; for your daughter to get interrupted during her quiet time, but it is definitely an opportunity to teach her as well as your son. As you witnessed, her solution unfortunately fed more negative energy into the conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T00:09:09.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16420" CreationDate="2014-11-13T01:12:21.700" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 19 year old, who spoke one word a day at school for 2 years, &quot;here&quot;, when the teacher called her name for class register.&#xA;Please believe me it will get better, take the advice given above and invite a few classmates round, please note the plural, don't restrict their safety net, widen it. You don't have to invite 2 or 3 kids at the same time, but do make sure you invite different friends. Also a wee tip, I was given - when they are playing, you should leave the room for a few seconds, then build it up to minutes. I'm not suggesting you leave them unsupervised, but that the other parent stays in the room. &#xA;I remember picking my daughter up from school and persistently asking her what she did at playtime, who was her partner at lunch, and feeling distraught, at her being left out, but, truth is she was shy. Baby steps, don't force it, honestly it will come, he will find his own comfort zone and peer group. Soon you will be wondering what you were worried about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11557" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T01:12:21.700" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16505" CreationDate="2014-11-13T07:29:09.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the same experience when our little boy caught molluscum at pre-school. We thought it was just a rash but it got worse and worse. After many months we took him to a medical specialist who suggested either minor surgery or just leave it and do nothing! ... and we paid her good money for the advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with the advice from doctors to just leave it is that it is contagious. So then his little sister caught it followed by our new born. It wasn't long until my husband and I also caught it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11565" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-11-13T16:56:57.540" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T16:56:57.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2014-11-13T08:28:48.543" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby was full term but smaller than usual (5 lbs 6 oz, 4lbs 11 on discharge). The pediatrician advised us to feed her every 2 hours which we essentially did even through the night. (I breastfeed so this frequency also really boosted my supply.) Though most times she would ask to feed, there were times I had to wake her to feed without demand, in order to keep this schedule. In other words, though she definitely needed to eat, she DID NOT always wake to tell me. Around the 1 month mark she had gained 3 lbs. and about that time she also started being able to go a bit longer at night without eating. I noticed that this coincided a bit with how often she wanted to eat during the day (from every 1-1.5 hours to every 2 hours). At ten weeks now she eats about every 2 hours during the day but can go five to six hour stretches at night (I never let her go longer than six). From what I have read and been told by doctors and lactation consultants, it's better not to let your baby go long periods at night (6-8 hours) without feeding in those early weeks and, this is important, depending on the weight and condition of your infant. I've come to understand that these last two factors are probably more influential in making your decision to feed than any sort of rule if thumb. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11567" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T08:28:48.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5451" CreationDate="2014-11-13T11:00:35.977" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest spirited games of &quot;monster&quot;, &quot;hide-and-seek&quot;, or any other game that get that child to run for an hour+.  You'd might be amazed how quickly they crash.  I was forced to take a kettle bell class in order to have the stamina for the games; the health benefits were an unexpected bonus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10085" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T11:00:35.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16624" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-13T11:44:07.947" Score="13" ViewCount="3038" Body="&lt;p&gt;So our 6-year-old daughter is quite a sensitive person and she finds it difficult when the other kids at school argue with her (or even with each other).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're normally quite a quiet family. We wouldn't normally shout unless something was really wrong. So she has trouble laughing it off when other kids shout at her at school - to her it's really upsetting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this is all part of normal life, I want to help her learn to cope with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think what she needs to come up with is an assertive response, rather than bursting into tears. She tries to stop herself but she doesn't have much success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone recommend resources - maybe a book or DVD? - that might be helpful? Or other recommendations for ways we could help her to cope?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried role-playing with me / her mum playing the part of the other child, but she finds even that too upsetting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's not being bullied - this doesn't happen very often, and it's the kind of thing which many other kids her age would laugh off or even enjoy and treat as a game. I want to help her understand that she doesn't have to treat it as the end of the world when someone else has a cross tone of voice - they might not mean it (with her classmates, usually they don't mean it) and even if they do mean it, I want her to learn to be a bit more thick-skinned, because I think that would make her feel happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's the group-dynamics type stuff that she has a problem with. The standard 'establishing a pecking order in a group' stuff that even adults do. She finds the '&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuckman&amp;#39;s_stages_of_group_development#Storming&quot;&gt;storming&lt;/a&gt;' stage of group participation extremely painful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-11-13T12:48:46.110" LastActivityDate="2014-12-06T09:32:56.553" Title="Assertiveness for 6-year-olds" Tags="|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16624" CreationDate="2014-11-13T12:12:47.773" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your description of how she reacts when kids at school argue with each other struck a nerve.  My daughter, who fearlessly defends herself and her friends against bullies, gets VERY upset when her cousins fight with each other (siblings, slightly older than she is).  We worked out a solution there where she tells them how much it upsets her when they argue, and helps them figure out a workable compromise.  Since she's naturally empathetic and nurturing (at 3, she didn't challenge for the ball in soccer, preferring instead to go pick up teammates who fell down), this has been a good solution for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you looked into extracurricular activities where being loud and assertive could be encouraged?  I'm thinking specifically of martial arts, but I'm sure there are others out there that would fit the bill.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thought: you mention that it's not bullying, but how does she view it?  My daughter has experienced bullying since age 4 (Pre-K) and is 6 now, so it does exist even at this tender age (which is depressing, but that's another rant).  We gave our kids three steps they can follow with bullies, which in my daughter's case have worked SPECTACULARLY (and hilariously) well:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;YELL at them to stop.  And when I say yell, I mean EMBARRASS the heck out of them for bothering you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the behavior continues, tell the person in charge (teacher, after-school care person) what's going on.  They should stop it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If for whatever reason it does not stop, my kid has my explicit permission to MAKE IT STOP.  I intentionally leave this vague, and do not give suggestions of what to do (other than reminders that initiating violence is not how we roll in our family).  But I have told them that if I get a call from the principal, I will ask two questions.  First, of my child, did you tell the teacher?  Second, of the teacher, why didn't you make it stop?  And if it's justified, the child will NOT be in trouble with me or my partner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has never had to go to step 3 (and hopefully never will) but the confidence that we and her teachers (this is a discussion we also have with all her teachers and care professionals) have her back has helped ENORMOUSLY in dealing with untoward behavior from her peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T12:12:47.773" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16626" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16624" CreationDate="2014-11-13T12:35:00.667" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry to hear about your daughters situation, there is book called cool, calm,confident by Lisa schab.  It does refer to bullying, but there are some good pointers you could glean from it.&#xA;Does she have any siblings at the school, if not do you know any of the classmates.  A good tip for building their confidence is being a little more independent, can you tell me if you car pool / walk to school?  Maybe a good idea to bring other kids into the mix when you are there, then you will be able to see her and the others first hand, and be in a better position to advise her.&#xA;Speak to her teacher, she would be able to give her a small role in class that pushed her comfort zone a little! &#xA;Its good that you are recognising this now and working on it, but, don't get too worked up about it. Maybe let your daughter see how you deal with things like this (set up a role play without her knowledge) and when she sees that you are able to shrug it off, or deal with it, she will Learn from that. Good luck.&#xA;I have a daughter who was so shy she didn't speak at school for 2 years, she is now 19, left home to study at university and although she is still quiet, she is confident able and happy. You will get there&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11557" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T12:35:00.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16624" CreationDate="2014-11-13T12:44:16.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally playing games with multiple players and winning and losing has really helped our family. That way if one child gets upset you can calmly explain to the other the reasons why, and that she is in a safe place even though the other child is upset. Also when your daughter doesn't win or gets frustrated or someone gets frustrated with her, you can be there not to stop it, but to let her know that she is safe whilst it's going on. That is, if it's a safety issue which it may well be. Basically put her in a position where there will be conflict, but make sure she knows that she is safe whilst it's going on. Even get some of her friends round or some kids from school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, children that age have little idea of how to describe their feelings let alone what triggers them. But it's about making the child feel safe in the environment. Socialise with other families and try to organise some events where there will be some points of conflict or upset (any winning or losing almost always gets this). But it's important to keep your daughter feeling safe, and that she has a voice and can use it to ask people to stop and that she has the power to walk away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T12:44:16.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16624" CreationDate="2014-11-13T14:16:58.230" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two facets to your question:  the assertiveness and the sensitivity.  I'll address them separately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The schoolyard, where there's one supervising adult per several classes of children, is not really the ideal place to learn assertiveness.  The kids who are good at it are either naturally assertive or have already learned from older siblings.  You need to arrange for real situations where you can be there to coach her:  birthday parties, play dates, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 5 year-old daughter was extremely shy, to the point we thought she might have selective mutism.  She would go to sunday school and not speak a word the entire time.  What helped with her was giving her lots of opportunities to practice being assertive with our coaching.  Sometimes parents unconsciously step in to protect a sensitive child, which reinforces the idea that they need protection.  We consciously made an effort to avoid that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if she wanted something at a restaurant, we made her ask for it, but we told her what to say.  If she came to us with a problem about another child, we made her solve it, but we told her what to say.  If she wanted to play in a group and couldn't figure out how to engage, we coached her on what to do.  It worked well enough that we're presently trying to dial it back the other way, to get her to recognize situations where she should ask us to intervene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is still fairly sensitive though, and this is where I differ somewhat from other parents.  While sensitivity can be a liability, it is also an asset.  Thicker skin comes naturally over time, there's no need to rush it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On that front, I would validate your daughter's feelings, explain the other kids' feelings, and help her recognize alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Validation means recognizing that her feelings are natural and okay.  You don't want her to feel that something's wrong with her because of how she feels.  Don't say things like, &quot;You shouldn't feel sad.&quot;  Say, &quot;I know it's scary when people yell at you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain what the other kids' actions mean.  Your daughter doesn't have enough experience to put herself in other people's shoes yet.  Say things like, &quot;They're not yelling because they're mad.  They just think they need to do it so others will pay attention to them.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach her to recognize alternatives.  There are other children at school in her exact same situation.  They are just harder to notice because they are not as assertive.  Teach your daughter to actively look for those kids who are like her.  Chances are she will be much happier in a group that plays by rules of consensus and courtesy, like your family apparently does.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recognizing that she has alternatives is empowering, &lt;em&gt;even if&lt;/em&gt; she decides she still craves the attention of the boisterous group.  It removes the desperation, which reduces the consequence of failure, which reduces the risk.  She will think, &quot;I may as well try to be assertive, because if it doesn't work, or if the yelling gets too much, I can always try to find a quiet friend to play with.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-11-13T16:51:16.397" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T16:51:16.397" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16610" CreationDate="2014-11-13T16:04:26.467" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The minivan, in my opinion (Joe), is the way to go. I agree it is not the sporty vehicle we aspire to drive but when it comes to hauling (four) kids around, it is the easiest, most convenient, comfortable way to go.  I recommend the Toyota Sienna with seating for 8. It has three removable seats in the middle so you can remove any of them for the ease of travel you desire.  Carseats can easily be installed in any of 6 seats and the remaining passengers are still comfortable.  The SUV's typically require flipping a seat forward to allow rear seat passenger in/out. Believe me, this is annoying, difficult, and downright dangerous in some situations.  The sliding doors of the minivan allow for kids to enter and exit the vehicle without the door slamming into a parked car, garage wall, or whatever else is around.  I have 5 kids and 25 years of carseats, booster seats, football gear, large school project, muddy cleats, dance costumes, and more. This van also can haul a  bed, dresser, desk, small refrigerator  - all at the same time. Good gas mileage as well. Test drive one and you will see. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11572" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T16:04:26.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16610" CreationDate="2014-11-13T17:11:47.013" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Family is in same dilemma we have a Traverse which is nice but with 4 kids cargo space is tight in the car and hard to have friends ride with kids.&#xA;We are now looking at the Odyssey and Siena due to 8 passenger configuration, wish the T&amp;amp;C had 8 seats. Wife is now coming around that the mini-van might be more practical due to extra space and room for cargo due to recess in back. Also easier to get into and out of the car due to base. So if you can get over stigma of mini-van that would be the wayto go and save $$$ due to better gas mileage and just cheaper for the room.&#xA;We did have a Pilot as well and the tightness in the rear row also was not fun for the kids stuck there on trips. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11574" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T17:11:47.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16632" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16720" CreationDate="2014-11-13T21:46:24.520" Score="8" ViewCount="1383" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm making an assumption that there has to be an age at which bed-sharing no longer provides a benefit to either party and in fact is harmful to at least one of them. Are there any studies that prove this point? If so, is it possible these studies are simply biased by cultural norms and don't show actual harm to parent or child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully the study would answer these questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When should parents stop sleeping in the same bed as their child? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What kind of issues can this cause for both the child and the parent&#xA;if the bed-sharing continues beyond what is recommended?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does the answer vary depending on whether we are talking about a single parent vs. a&#xA;couple?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11576" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-31T19:48:23.860" LastActivityDate="2018-08-31T19:48:23.860" Title="At what age does bed-sharing become detrimental to a child?" Tags="|age-appropriate|research|bed-sharing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16594" CreationDate="2014-11-13T22:30:16.133" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm late to this party, but the turn taken in comments is compelling me to speak up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think &lt;em&gt;political correctness&lt;/em&gt; is the goal here; humanity and humility are. If this were another illness - say molluscum contagiosum - would it be OK for a stranger to come up to your children and say &quot;Your mother is a walking sexually transmitted disease, a pox of shame is on her&quot;? Of course not. Why anyone would feel entitled to do this with a &lt;em&gt;mental illness&lt;/em&gt; is incomprehensible to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mental illness is &lt;em&gt;an illness&lt;/em&gt;, not a &lt;em&gt;choice&lt;/em&gt;. People don't usually enjoy their obsessive compulsions. Schizophrenics are not all negligent parents, and I doubt that they are indifferent when their children suffer because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a close relationship with children who are suffering, then do feel free to tell them that this is not the new normal, that their suffering is not their fault, that their parent is mentally ill. Then support them as best as you can. That might involve getting them to see their school counselors, or even calling Children's Services. But you, as a stranger, have no right to upset these kids and walk away, thinking you've done them a favor. If a kid's father beats him because he's a mean drunk and you care about the kid, then do something about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regard to the specific case in the OP's question, &lt;em&gt;fear&lt;/em&gt; should be a common vocabulary word, and &lt;em&gt;phobia&lt;/em&gt; not far behind. If Relative doesn't visit because she has an irrational fear (phobia) of germs, then make that clear, so that the kids don't think Relative doesn't visit or invite them over because she doesn't like them. They can handle the truth better than the confusion. The same goes for any mental illness. &lt;em&gt;Grandma doesn't visit anyone, not just us, because she's afraid of leaving the house. It's not because she doesn't love you. Her mind is tricking her into being afraid of the world, like if it was filled with scarey biting dogs everywhere she goes. She's afraid to go out.&lt;/em&gt; Reassure them that it's not contagious, not hereditary (unless it is), and not a reflection on them. &lt;em&gt;Uncle Pete sometimes talks out loud to nobody because his mind is tricking him into thinking someone is talking to him. You know how you used to be afraid that something was under your bed, but it wasn't real? Well, he has something like that, but he doesn't know it's not real. It doesn't happen to everyone, and it won't happen to you.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That Grandma and Uncle Pete have a mental illness doesn't give any stranger the right to say, &quot;That [old lady/your uncle] is as crazy as a loon, kid. Live with it.&quot; This is most definitely not a kindness, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The less we stigmatize mental illness, the easier it is to talk about, and the more open your kids can be about asking questions. The more openly they can talk about depression or anxiety, the more freely they can admit it if they experience it themselves. There is no reason people with mental illnesses should feel isolation or shame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-13T22:30:16.133" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16591" CreationDate="2014-11-14T03:01:21.263" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Certain foods directly influence the production of urine if they are diuretic. Diuretic substances are those that increase the production of urine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would advise to have your child avoid diuretic foods at dinner time. If you search for &quot;&lt;strong&gt;diuretic foods&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; you'll get many pages, most with similar results(such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://bembu.com/diuretic-foods/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Bembu&quot;&gt;Bembu&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/84264-foods-drinks-natural-diuretics/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;Livestrong&quot;&gt;Livestrong&lt;/a&gt;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diuretics are well-established in the medical community, and many foods and substances are known to be diuretics. There's not much I can find in the way of anti-diuretics (besides salt). &lt;strong&gt;So, this would seem to primarily be an issue of avoiding certain foods, rather than partaking in certain foods&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many foods indirectly influence the production of urine based on their water content. Fruits and sauces, for instance, have high water content. &lt;strong&gt;About 20% of your daily water intake is from food alone.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Food influences aside, you may also need to monitor your child's bathroom usage earlier than immediately after the meal and before bed. If your child has a habit (conscious or not) of holding in his urine, then urine evacuated before bed might still be a &quot;backlog&quot; from the food and drink consumed &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; his evening meal. Once a child is old enough to know how to hold their pee in during the day, they're old enough realize going to the restroom might take time away from play, and go less often than their body tells them to. (Speaking from experience, here.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Small bladder conditions aside, if his body is trying to catch up throughout the night with eliminating the remaining excess water from the day, then it'll inevitably lead to needing to urinate at night. Ideally, this would wake him up and he'd use the restroom on his own (easier said than done). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-14T03:01:21.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16594" CreationDate="2014-11-14T12:56:50.580" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe a complete opposite approach is worth to try. Focus on what you want. I assume the interaction between Relative and your children is as safe as they are with you. (Keep in mind that things you want consist of positive acts that create synergy, altruism is key).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could create a stronger bond between Relative and your children? What do you like Relative for yourself? What does Relative bring for positive things in the world with his/her existence? Focus on that, keep that in mind, tell that to your children. What can you do to make both Relative and your children experience the best of what the relation of Relative &amp;lt;-&gt; children can be? Use your will power to &lt;strong&gt;create&lt;/strong&gt; just that. How would that feel, to you, to Relative, to your children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that if you do all this with a sane (knowledgeable) mind, you will make the most out of the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Addition&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relative is thinking about a pink elephant in the living room, which isn't there, but the &lt;strong&gt;idea&lt;/strong&gt; is bothering her. Now you are talking about a pink elephant in the room, which isn't there, but you are now also thinking about that pink elephant int he living room. Relative behaves different because of the &lt;strong&gt;idea&lt;/strong&gt; of the pink elephant in the living room, which is very stuck in her mind. You want to explain her behavior to your children by discussing the pink elephant sympathetically. Now there are 4 of you, thinking about this pink elephant, which ins't there. Relative wants to hold on to the pink elephant, because she is afraid to let it go. It is affecting you, and you are affecting your children, so the elephant is to stay. Now your children have to think about the pink elephant as well, which isn't there, but it helps them to understand Relative's behavior... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Logically reasoning you should loose the pink elephant and the problem is solved. Stay as close to the solution as possible. I understand this isn't easy, and it is not Relative's choice to have that pink elephant in the room. But she wants it to go away as well, but she is afraid to think about letting the pink elephant go. If you want a practical answer: Tell relative to calm down when your child sneezes. No discussing of the pink elephant required. And you are the example figure to your children. You &lt;em&gt;define&lt;/em&gt; what is normal behavior (at least your children trust you more in it, than they do trust Relative on that matter). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, Relative will be annoyed by the fact that you don't believe in the pink elephant. Because she thinks that pink elephant is required to protect her from illness (or whatever her fear might be). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;why is Mommy ignoring Relative? what's up with this pink elephant anyway?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a nuanced difference about ignoring and not going along with it. You can show sympathy for the fact that Relative suffers from a pink elephant in the living room. That doesn't mean you agree it is there, you agree with it being a burden to Relative. So you stil show empathy, but you stay with the solution of removing the pink elephant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;still sends no clear message to the kids&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes there might be conflicts. But is this about avoiding conflicts or about doing what is best for your children? Do you want your children to learn how to get rid of pink elephants that jump around in their own minds? To track them down, face them and remove them by focusing on what they do want. Or do you want to learn them that other people should mind those pink elephants inside your childrens mind, or otherwise your children have all the right to become annoyed towards those people? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now to put this more clearly I am convinced that everybody has pink elephants in their minds. Because everybody has fears (or atleast 99.99% of the population does). Relative has big pink elephant and yours, your childrens and mine may be quiet a bit smaller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think by acting solely towards Relative about what is the normal behavior (on a moment is matters) is a clear message for your children when they witness the situation. They will also feel that you have a strong mind and will. You will be their example, they can trust you. You know what is right, and you dare to act upon it. You don't burden your children with all the problems in the world, but you teach them to focus (and therefore experience) all the great things life has to offer. So they will dare to do the same. meanwhile you have shown your empathy as well, which your children will also show towards others that act upon their pink elephants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4705" LastEditDate="2014-11-14T18:30:53.297" LastActivityDate="2014-11-14T18:30:53.297" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16636" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-14T15:44:56.060" Score="8" ViewCount="21370" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five year-old daughter has been sleeping on the floor lately.  We've asked her why, but this is one of those situations where she's not very self-aware, and you have to probe to get to the bottom of it.  Yesterday she used the string from her &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.katydidandkid.com/2014/05/a-kids-tinkering-kit.html&quot;&gt;tinker kit&lt;/a&gt; to make a &quot;trap&quot; around her bed.  I realize I'm probably reading too much into it, and it's probably just for fun, but it's still curious.  Any ideas what might be behind this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2019-12-17T11:40:26.613" Title="Why would a child choose to sleep on the floor?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16636" CreationDate="2014-11-14T16:06:48.133" Score="13" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Something's scary up there.&lt;/strong&gt; While typically the imaginary monster is &lt;em&gt;under&lt;/em&gt; the bed, sometimes you can trick it by sleeping somewhere else. (If I were a scary monster and couldn't find the kid I was planning to eat, I'd look on the floor next to the bed... luckily, monsters are stupid and rarely read Parenting.SE.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally I'd expect/hope that she'd describe this imaginary scary thing when asked, although her building a trap makes me slightly more suspicious. Perhaps asking &quot;what are you going to catch with that?&quot; would lead to a clue. It's also entirely possible she just felt like it, though. (Pillow forts, e.g., aren't built to plan for warfare, they're built because they're &lt;em&gt;fun&lt;/em&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Change of pace.&lt;/strong&gt; Sometimes the bed is boring and it's more fun to sleep on the floor. Alternatively, kids may shift pillows, toys, or blankets around. (I went through a phase as a child where I truly believed switching ends was the only thing that would really help me relax. I still try it occasionally when I can't sleep, despite knowing that bed-polarity is irrelevant.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discomfort.&lt;/strong&gt; Sometimes my middle child likes ALL THE THINGS (extra pillow, stuffed toys, books) to be around him in bed, sometimes he flings off everything (pillow, blanket, stuffed toys) and is found in the morning curled up in the middle with a thin sheet wrapped tightly around him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-11-14T16:06:48.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16641" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-15T01:24:51.980" Score="7" ViewCount="1480" Body="&lt;p&gt;Inspired by this question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4844/should-our-3-year-old-boy-be-made-to-look-at-me-while-i-am-talking-during-disci&quot;&gt;Should our 3 year old boy be made to look at me while I am talking (during discipline)?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this question, the word &quot;naughty&quot; is repeatedly used to describe a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would actually like to take this question beyond the scope of just the word naughty, and ask:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it detrimental to the development of a child's self-identity to label the &lt;em&gt;child&lt;/em&gt; with adjectives, versus labeling the child's &lt;em&gt;behavior&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Negative example: &quot;You're being naughty.&quot; vs. &quot;What you're doing is not okay.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Positive example: &quot;You're a good boy.&quot; vs &quot;You're behaving very nicely.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Ambiguous example: &quot;You're silly.&quot; vs. &quot;That's a silly thing to say.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T14:19:14.470" Title="Is it okay to call children naughty?" Tags="|discipline|development|emotional-well-being|mental-health|praise|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4844" CreationDate="2014-11-15T16:22:53.620" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brighthubeducation.com/social-studies-help/9626-learning-about-eye-contact-in-other-cultures/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Eye contact during conversation is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; an inherently human behavior.&lt;/a&gt; Different cultures use or avoid it under differing conditions. It's possible he hasn't learned that &quot;eye contact is what we do when we're talking&quot; yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a middle school teacher, I've run across hundreds of kids who won't look an adult in the eye when they're under emotional stress. I wouldn't read anything into it, and I wouldn't insist  on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-11-15T16:22:53.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16643" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-15T21:15:21.447" Score="7" ViewCount="195" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to involve my 5-year old and 3-year old more in meal planning and eventually cooking. Right now, they're a bit picky (like most) and so we have a pretty limited set of maybe 5-6 dinner options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My goal is to broaden their choices. For example, I found that when we started making pizza, my daughter, who doesn't like tomato sauce on pasta, suddenly thought it was OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are good approaches to make young kids become more involved in meal planning and cooking? What is your personal experience with this?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I thought that a cookbook with lots of photos and generally kid-friendly foods, that are easy for kids to help with many steps, could make them look at some photos of meals and say &quot;oh, that looks interesting&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-02T05:50:23.560" LastActivityDate="2018-07-03T17:14:33.110" Title="How to make young kids become more involved in meal planning and cooking?" Tags="|pre-schooler|food|cooking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16644" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-15T21:24:55.360" Score="5" ViewCount="3908" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8-year-old son, a 6- and a 2-year-old daughter. My son is a model student but really likes to argue. He's extremely stubborn and always right. When he argues with me, I'll correct him and laugh it off when he continues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I'm a fan of natural consequences, so long as the child is not in any immediate danger. When he argues with other kids at school, for instance, and I learn about it later, I'll explain to him that arguing is not a very good way to make friends. This is a natural consequence that I'm okay with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of his two sisters, only the older one is old enough to argue back. She's much more relaxed and considerate than he is (surprise, she has more friends). But she can also be extremely annoying (&quot;What'cha doing? What'cha doing?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?!&quot;), so the two of them clash a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, the natural consequence of losing friends doesn't exactly apply at home, and my son does worse than arguing with his sisters. Today, he was holding a treasure box and shaking it, which was making a lot of noise. His older sister wanted to know what was in the box, to which he responded by hiding it. When she asked again, he just ignored her. This kind of thing &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; gets on my nerves, so I asked my son irritably &quot;Why are you being a jerk? She just wants to see what's in it. What do you get by holding out on her?&quot; This made him feel really bad, but he still wouldn't let her see it. He just pouted and sulked. His sister, unable to take a hint, persisted, so I told her &quot;Just leave him alone. He doesn't feel like being nice right now.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure there's a better way to handle situations like this, but it's hard to think clearly when I get irritated. In the past, my wife and I had a hard copy of &quot;the rules&quot; that helped us by giving us clear consequences (e.g., rudeness will result in being sent to your room) so we didn't have to make quick decisions when these things happened. But there are two problems with having rules like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You end up with a rule for everything, which you have to enforce.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's not much of a natural consequence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how should I deal with this behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11583" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-24T14:27:18.500" LastActivityDate="2019-07-24T14:27:18.500" Title="How to implement natural consequences to make an 8-year-old stop being rude to a sibling?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|siblings|conflict|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6476" CreationDate="2014-11-15T22:33:22.543" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it can indicate a silent seizure disorder called absent seizures and if the seizures are not treated the child can just descend into a condition that mimics autism when it's really just a seizure disorder!&#xA;Staring spells help to differentiate  !&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11584" LastActivityDate="2014-11-15T22:33:22.543" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16647" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16652" CreationDate="2014-11-16T01:24:48.007" Score="9" ViewCount="5332" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2½-year old has very recently developed a fear of the plughole in the bath. She is not just afraid but properly terrified to the point that I bathed her in her baby brother's bathtub-in-a-bath tonight. She seems to believe that if the water can disappear down the plughole, then maybe so can her toys and flannel (and what if she herself could disappear?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried to talk to her about it and we've tried to demonstrate that only water can go down the plughole, but she becomes frantic and upset. This wasn't a problem last week and doubtless it will pass, but what is the best way to help her overcome this fear now? Have other people experienced the plughole-terrors?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9773" LastActivityDate="2014-11-16T08:36:23.067" Title="How to help (and bathe) a toddler who is terrified of the plughole in the bath?" Tags="|toddler|fears|bathing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16647" CreationDate="2014-11-16T08:36:23.067" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;That particular irrational fear is common. Take her fears seriously, because they're real to her. Explaining that they are unfounded doesn't work, nor does smiling at or dismissing her fears. If you're reassuring and comforting, she'll learn one more reason to trust you with her feelings (really important) and that it's okay to feel afraid. Then you can work on her feelings together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A washcloth or rubber mat to cover the drain/plug might help. Make a show of covering the drain with the mat before filling the tub. Stay with her for a few baths, and don't drain the water in her presence. Remove the toys from the tub when she gets out so she need not worry about her toys suffering a mysterious fate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you can draw and color pictures of plumbing or look at a children's book describing how plumbing works. You can help her draw an imaginary house and include the plumbing. Familiarity sometimes helps to dispel fears (make sure the pipes are small!) Giving her a chance to learn, and talk at a leisurely pace about her questions might help to build a calm rapport about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cooking macaroni (spaghetti can sneak out) and showing her how a colander works when you drain it might help. She might be interested in rinsing fruit, salad greens, etc. in the sink through a colander, or give her toys a bath in the kitchen sink. You can tempt her with bubbles and food coloring in the water and call it a special treat for her dolls. She will learn by experience that things don't go through the colander or the kitchen sink drain, and it will give her a safe venue to deal with her fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bathing her when she's less tired might be less stressful for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Through trial and error, you and your toddler will figure out together what helps to increase her sense of power and control over things that frighten her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rarely, but it does happen, children can develop a genuine phobia (an intense and persistent irrational fear). It's a good idea to speak with her doctor if the fear persists for longer than a few months, or your child reacts to a fear so severely that she simply can't be calmed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-16T08:36:23.067" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16641" CreationDate="2014-11-16T09:52:39.430" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer, in short, is yes and no and it depends on the child &amp;amp; usage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Elaborating...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This pertains not only to children, but to all people.  When we make a statement about a behavior &lt;em&gt;or&lt;/em&gt; a characteristic and attribute that to the person, then if it is done so repeatedly, whether by the same person or separate people individually, there are 2 scenarios (generally-speaking);&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The person will reflect on the statements or otherwise internalize them, begin believing them, and then adopt them as a component of self-identity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, negative statements can be quite harmful while positive statements can be quite helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The person generally disregards the views of others or for whatever reason disregards a particular label.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, it isn't harmful to the recipient, per se, but quite often will result in them creating a view of those who make such statements (very often as friend or foe). Most of the time I see this as taking place subconsciously as opposed to an overt decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When, however, in the case of behavior-related statements, they are made more precisely as describing the behavior, such concern is lessened, though not always eliminated since they may be heard differently than they are said (most especially when speaking about children).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Characteristics, though, are not as you have in your &amp;quot;positive example.&amp;quot; That is, calling someone good is not the same as saying that their behavior is good.  A good person is someone who replicates the desired behavior&lt;strong&gt;s&lt;/strong&gt; consistently, not as the one-time event suggested by identifying a single positive behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For many generations, both phraseologies have been used by people throughout various cultures and we don't see (or at least I have not) stories or news articles about bad people where the sole cause was that their parents called them something when they were a child, so I don't see this as a cataclysmic concern.  It is one worth noting, however, (hence the +1) to help ensure we are the best parents we can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-16T09:52:39.430" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16655" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16594" CreationDate="2014-11-16T14:58:48.337" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Working as in a facility where we welcome all children, I've had this conversation many times with children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the kids that comes to our facility regularly has Down syndrome. The past summer she started attending our summer camp, and she was put in my group of 4 year olds. I had a few come up to me and ask what's wrong with her.... I just replied with a simple answer &quot;Sometimes when you're inside mommy's tummy uh oh happen, and then that baby is born a little different.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worked for them, and they seemed to understand and after that they were very helpful and understanding of the little girl with Down syndrome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11590" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-06T15:11:10.327" LastActivityDate="2018-03-06T15:11:10.327" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9161" CreationDate="2014-11-17T00:21:04.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agreed with many of the points offered with the most upvoted answers, but I felt that they all could include something more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that having a detailed budget is the biggest aide in becoming financially independent and stable. You need to know how much many you have coming in, and how much money you have going out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other answers have suggested that you have your child create their own budget. I do believe this is a very important skill to teach your children as soon as you can. I also believe it's important to &lt;em&gt;show&lt;/em&gt; ideal behavior, and not just ask for it, whenever possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, I recommend having your own budget, and letting your child see what it looks like to manage household income and expenses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child is vaguely aware that you make X amount of money, they may have unrealistic expectations as to where that money can go. But if they see that, as parents, you have to budget for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rent/mortgage&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Taxes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Loan payments&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Insurances Groceries&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Utilities/Internet/TV&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gas/petrol&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clothing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toiletries/household supplies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Home &amp;amp; vehicle repairs/maintenance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Entertainment for the family&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Education-related expenses Savings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Medicine &amp;amp; medical care&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Membership costs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then they may be more understanding of &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; you don't just buy them all the things that they want. Even if you have a lot of &quot;leftover&quot; money every month, it doesn't mean that it's free money, because you also have to plan for &quot;what if&quot; expenses, such as flat tires and illness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child never actually &lt;em&gt;sees&lt;/em&gt; the true cost of living, it can be hard to expect them to appreciate all the expenses that come up.  They may see you as a font of cash that just conveniently &quot;dries up&quot; when you don't want to purchase them something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US there seems to be a heavy stigma around talking about how much money you make. While this is understandable when speaking interacting in the workplace, I don't feel that it makes much sense inside the home. Being open with your children about your current income, and what it took to get to that point, can also help give them a practical understanding of the value of salaries in a career. That is to say, they may be better equipped to translate that salary into its actual purchasing power, rather than just a price tag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-17T00:21:04.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16644" CreationDate="2014-11-17T00:52:40.983" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The natural consequence of teasing/arguing/fighting with your sibling is that you are teasing/arguing/fighting with your sibling, and this means that one or both of you are unhappy or hurt. The instigating sibling is also teaching the other what they think is an acceptable way to interact with siblings. Therefore, they can expect the other sibling to use the same tactics in the future, leading to an incident where the instigating child gets to feel teased.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The instigating child may not see having an unhappy sibling as a severe enough natural consequence to cease their behavior. In this case, you may want to try encouraging your child's empathy for others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Empathy will help him understand that he wouldn't want to be disallowed from seeing something for &lt;em&gt;no reason&lt;/em&gt;. However, if they continue to behave in this manner, then they should fully expect that their sibling is going to learn from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another natural consequence is your disapproval. The natural consequences of behavior often extend beyond just those immediately involved with behavior. It's reasonable to express your disapproval with the behavior, and guide the siblings to more acceptable behavior, without resorting to rules or more formal discipline. In the example you gave, you could say, &quot;[Son], I don't think you're being kind. If you don't want to share with your sister, then you should tell her you don't want to share right now. [Daughter], you should ask politely if you want your brother to share, but if he says &quot;No&quot; then you need to let him be.&quot; Tailor the wording to your needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this way, you're still letting the children resolve the issue on their own, but you have offered clear guidance for resolving the conflict. I don't believe conflict resolution comes naturally to most people, especially children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2014-11-17T18:59:12.427" LastActivityDate="2014-11-17T18:59:12.427" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16584" CreationDate="2014-11-17T18:34:56.837" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it depends upon the age of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the birthday child is mature and restrained enough to make appropriate comments when opening gifts that he or she is not enthused with OR when opening duplicate gifts, then it is nice for the kids to participate and feel involved in the gift opening.  Additionally, if the children are old enough to have been involved in the selection of the gift, then they have a more vested interested in seeing it opened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, the most important message in gift giving is the thought that the gift giver put in to the gift and gratitude from the recipient.  This is sometimes best achieved in a private gift opening post party where a parent can articulate the good intentions of all gift givers and heartfelt thank you notes can be written.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11601" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-17T23:19:53.803" LastActivityDate="2014-11-17T23:19:53.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1181" CreationDate="2014-11-17T22:50:36.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As technology improves, so do possible answers to questions like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;New products are on the market that allow you to have Bluetooth tracking via a sticker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first &quot;Bluetooth tracking sticker&quot; that comes up on a Google search at this time is &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sticknfind.com/sticknfind.aspx%20%22StickNFind&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;StickNFind&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's about the size of a watch battery (which is the kind of battery it uses).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The battery lasts up to a year.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It has about 100 ft line of sight range.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can use the product's app to track the device when in range, or use the app to get notified when the sticker is out of your desired range.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's currently $50 USD for a 2 pack.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It only has 100 ft line of sight range, which might reduce it's effectiveness for older children that are allowed to roam more.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It requires a smartphone, or certain tablets.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You need to have the app, and Bluetooth, running on your smartphone, reducing your device's battery life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children lose small things, so you have to find a way to &quot;secure&quot; it to them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because the device is so small, it can easily be tucked into a child's pocket or hidden beneath their watch (or some other jewelry with a large face). If desired, it wouldn't be difficult to sew special patches into younger children's clothes to keep the item from falling out. Personally, I'd go for making a pendant they could comfortably wear around their neck and under their shirt, and design it to disguise the device. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a heavy reader of tech-related news, and when I heard about products like this my first thought was to tracking children, not objects. Normally, our son is never far enough away from one of us that we fear for his safety, let alone fear him being abducted. However, if we were to ever take him on a family trip to somewhere crowded (especially if we we going on the trip with others), then something like this could definitely provide peace of mind. It takes half a second for a young one to run off. When you're in a big crowd, and you have other friends and family with you, you're going to get distracted for half a second at some point. While most times your child will be perfectly fine, there's a wide variety of things that can happen between losing and finding a child, not just abduction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would add, though, that this suggestion, like the others, is more about &lt;em&gt;easing the parents' worries&lt;/em&gt; than increasing the safety of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-02-18T04:37:22.393" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T04:37:22.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16664" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-18T01:06:49.257" Score="6" ViewCount="260" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a range of good behaviors that I classify as &quot;table manners.&quot; These range from pretty basic (don't throw food) to general politeness (use your fork and spoon, napkin on lap) to moderately obscure and/or localized etiquette (start with the salad fork, which is on the left).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For general purposes, we only focus on the first couple categories at home. However, there are going to eventually be situations where I'd like them to know how to be on their &quot;best behavior&quot; -- and indeed, they'll likely feel embarrassed and uncomfortable if they don't know what is expected. My mother always phrased it as we should be &quot;ready to be invited to dinner at the White House&quot;... but I have in mind more events like wedding receptions, eating out with work colleagues, or going on dates to fancy restaurants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some ideas for incorporating the extra-polite aspects of table manners into their education at home? I don't want to make &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; meal into a high-pressure fancy occasion (for one thing, I don't think I have enough forks), and I also want to keep it fairly light and fun. I remember my little brother getting yelled at by our grandfather once for dropping his napkin: this didn't teach us how to deal with napkins, just that Grandpa was somebody to be afraid of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't expect this to involve kids under 7, unless somebody has a brilliant suggestion for how a toddler can learn the difference between soup and dessert spoons. I do want to start before they're teenagers, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-11-18T16:04:45.533" Title="Teaching the details of etiquette and table manners" Tags="|education|manners|etiquette|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16665" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-18T02:54:35.153" Score="6" ViewCount="60683" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have taken away pull ups/diapers during the day for my 3 year old. Since then, he has gone on the toilet a few times, but usually he will hold it in as much as he can, and then once he can no longer hold it in, he will usually freak out and start crying if I try to get him to go in the toilet. In the end, he will usually do it in his pants. Sometimes it seems like he is conflicted because he doesn't want to do in his underwear and doesn't want to do it in the toilet. Is there anything I can do to help him along?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11603" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-11-19T13:05:55.077" LastActivityDate="2016-07-16T12:14:25.163" Title="What can I do about 3 year old holding in pee all the time?" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16664" CreationDate="2014-11-18T05:28:52.660" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;This reminds me of such a fun to-do kids' activity at our house. :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About every other month, we would have a &quot;restaurant&quot; lunch at home. I named the restaurant &lt;em&gt;&quot;Susie-Q's&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, printed up menus on my printer (with ridiculously low prices) that the kids could read (or have help reading). They could choose anything and everything they wanted from it. I play-acted this overly-familiar waitress/owner who would let the kids get away with anything, including my whisking away with apologies anything they decided they didn't like (yes, there were new foods, too), etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I gave them each some money. Everything was served elegantly on nice table cloths, nesting bowls - I'd gotten some nice ones at estate sales, along with lots of extra silverplate (cheap, but it does shine up nice!) - butter knives, teacups with saucers, wine and water glasses, etc. I made a big deal of their wonderful manners, how good looking they were, what good choices they made, how brave their choice to try roasted beets with goat cheese as a side dish, etc. (to me they would have complained, but not to &quot;her&quot; &amp;lt;3&amp;lt;3&amp;lt;3&amp;lt;3!) It was so over the top, it was really fun. They got to behave exactly as if they were out at a restaurant all by themselves without coaching. And of course, &quot;Susie-Q&quot; would gush over the &quot;tip&quot; they left her, and would imply she'd serve them for free, they were just that wonderful. My kids loved it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was a lot of work to prepare different dishes including desserts and drinks, but it was totally worth it. They always wanted to please this lady &quot;Susie-Q&quot; with their fine manners and conversation. I think it really helped them at nice restaurants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I knew how much they liked it when my youngest looked at me one harried lunchtime and asked, &quot;Mom, can you please be Susie-Q today?&quot; [:-O] ;-) &quot;Why. honey, you know I'm not Suzie-Q. She's much nicer than I am. But maybe you can go to her place soon.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was fun for all of us (my husband would often help). They still all talk about it (and they're all grown up and married)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-11-18T16:04:45.533" LastActivityDate="2014-11-18T16:04:45.533" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16667" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-18T06:09:41.873" Score="2" ViewCount="8900" Body="&lt;p&gt;What has worked for you to get your small child to sleep at bedtime? My daughter is 7, bedtime is 8:30. It's currently 11:10 and she is still calling because she can't sleep. We've counted sheep and I have tried relaxation techniques I learned in a psych class. Nothing seems to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11604" LastActivityDate="2014-12-03T10:03:50.410" Title="7-year-old can't sleep" Tags="|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16667" CreationDate="2014-11-18T06:16:18.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The typical reading a story helped me.  For whatever reason, I decided the &quot;Phantom Tollbooth&quot; would be fun to read to her at that age.  The irony of her falling asleep in the Doldrums! It seemed that a calm, peaceful voice in a structured setting (i.e. her listening and not talking since I was reading) helped mellow out her hyperness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our psychiatrist constantly gives me handouts about better sleep, calling it sleep hygiene, so I looked it up and found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/sleep-hygiene?page=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; article on WebMD (scroll down to the numbered list).  Due to the age, some things are clearly irrelevant to your child, but many things are on topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side Note: A couple of years later is when I guess &quot;Phantom Tollbooth&quot; is targeted for kids. She laughed when she came home and told me that's what they were reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-11-18T06:16:18.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6262" CreationDate="2014-11-18T08:56:33.810" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just one more thought added to the many good answers here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you sure your 8yo can handle what you want him to do? Sometimes the 8yo ist &quot;younger&quot; or more vulnerable than the 5yo. Especially if one child is somewhat outside the norm. I have the same age constellation of kids as you do, but my son is gifted and I get the same reaction (the mechnanisms are quite similar with ADHD and gifted kids). And another mom told me exactly the same of her (gifted + Aperger) son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practical approach:&#xA;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he takes 3 hours to clean up his room, offer help. It might be that - especially with ADHD - he can't focus long enough. Ask him to do something quick and easy (&quot;Hand me this towel, please&quot;) &lt;em&gt;then stop&lt;/em&gt;. Most likely he'll just do it w/o thinking about it as it's not a &quot;real&quot; task. Then work slowly from there.&lt;br&gt;It's highly probable that he's stuck in some vicious cycle of &quot;I can't but should be able to and this frustrates and blocks me even more&quot;. So he needs some outlet for his internal tension - and what better outlet than you as he subconciously knows you'll love him still. &lt;br&gt;I'm not saying let him do what he wants, but rather assure you that deep down he loves and trusts you. &lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch out if something triggers his ADHD - some children can't handle media input (Computer, TV, ...). Others react to too much sugar or some foods. Offer alternatives, if possible. Exhaust him. Send him outside to play (if possible) or enroll him im sports. Let him &quot;run off&quot; the adrenaline and other stress hormones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Natural consequences are a good and valid method for discipline, but consider &quot;letting it go&quot; occasionally (if you feel it would be better). Don't make too much fuss about it. (&quot;You are not hungry? Ok.&quot; Then change the topic.) Try to avoid anything that evaluates &quot;him&quot;. You think you are giving green or red stars for a &lt;em&gt;behaviour&lt;/em&gt;, but he'll likely feel you are rating &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; as a person. Most likely he's doubting his &lt;em&gt;worth&lt;/em&gt; anyway as he needs these pills and doesn't meet your expectations. And at 8yo, no amount of explaining the diference will help much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2014-11-18T08:56:33.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16592" CreationDate="2014-11-18T13:39:59.030" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried to look up some baby massage techniques?  I used to have trouble with my little girl not winding properly and found baby massage helped.  There are certain exercises like the ones listed in this site &lt;a href=&quot;http://irelandsbabyshow.com/anti-colic-massage-technique-baby/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://irelandsbabyshow.com/anti-colic-massage-technique-baby/&lt;/a&gt; that help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always used to do the cycling legs and the &quot;I Love U&quot; one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to take comfort in is that it won't last forever.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-11-18T13:39:59.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16665" CreationDate="2014-11-18T14:14:18.273" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ah potty training: the endless struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found scheduling regular potty breaks helped with our 2.5 year old girl, because she did the same thing as your son. We tried to have roughly 6 schedules potty breaks throughout the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, if your son is a human child then there is a 99% chance of this also becoming a battle ground. Our daughter did &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; like to be told it was time to sit on the potty. Some strategies that helped the schedule work were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Special potty only toys. I have mixed feelings about this, but it sometimes helps motivate them to sit and stay for longer than 1 second.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Saying we have to sit on the potty before we can do &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; desirable activity, such as going to a library program.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Giving some other reward for sitting on the potty.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A special little girl potty helped too. as @Erica mentioned there is often a fear of adult toilets and the loud flushes. Plus anything that makes them feel like it is special seems to help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We constantly try to find ways to remind her that it isn't good to keep the pee or poo inside and that it can give her an &quot;owy tummy&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We actually resorted to chocolate rewards when away from home for about a month because my daughter was so afraid of the flushing sound (especially with automatic flushes). We also started carrying around masking tape to cover the sensors on public toilets with auto flush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After about 4-6 months I finally felt like she can fairly reliably let us know when she needs to use the potty. However, even at this stage we let her know we are leaving the house and the potty must be used before we leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11549" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-11-28T09:54:21.613" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T09:54:21.613" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16667" CreationDate="2014-11-18T15:49:14.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For us it's been about routine. We do the same thing every night; dinner, bath, story, bed. Part of it is that learning to go to sleep is actually a thing, especially if you're not particularly tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In times when we've changed timezones we've used exercise to great effect, and general stimulus; cutting out TV  since that uses fewer calories and less brain power than sleep itself (!). When ours do watch lots of TV, that's when they are hardest to get to sleep, so we cut it down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may not be the issue, but we have had good success in this area, although every child is very different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I've just thought -- take the pressure of going to sleep off. The most annoying thing about going to sleep is the thought &quot;I must go to sleep but I'm still awake!&quot;. Our LO reads on his own and turns his light off on his own. At first he'd read for ages, but now he regulates himself very well (only 6 months on) so if he's tired he just won't read very long, thereby learning how he feels and how to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2014-12-03T10:03:50.410" LastActivityDate="2014-12-03T10:03:50.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16673" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-18T18:43:28.197" Score="1" ViewCount="522" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is pregnant with her 8th child. She has 3 from her first marriage, 2 more with another relation, and I married her and we have 2 more. She got pregnant while she has both an IUD and is on birth control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We barely have enough money, we work a lot. She wants to keep this kid and I don't. All the kids range from 19, 18, 15, 10, 9, 5, 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is irresponsible for us to have another kid when we have so many and it is difficult to raise these 7 kids, let alone have one more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to change her mind?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11607" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-18T19:52:09.730" LastActivityDate="2014-11-18T19:52:09.730" Title="My wife is pregnant and I don't want to be part of it, what I should do?" Tags="|parents|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2014-11-18T20:04:45.840" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16665" CreationDate="2014-11-18T20:08:09.473" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, try to avoid forcing things as much as possible.  If worst comes to worst, go back to diapers/pullups; we did this at one point, and survived.  It is possible your child is simply not ready for potty training; some aren't at 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More likely, though, going back temporarily would allow you to reset some of the issues - the 'battleground', so to speak.  Go back to diapers for a couple of weeks, don't do it in a blaming manner - just tell your child &quot;You know what, you're not ready for potty training, so we'll go back to diapers for a while until you're ready.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, what we found very useful was naked days, in combination with having him own his messes.  Our child had more trouble with poop rather than pee, but had some issues with both; so for days where he was at home, we took off all bottom clothes (so only a shirt).  Not only did it make it easier to make it to the bathroom once he was partway there (so fewer accidents in front of the potty), but it helped him understand what is going on in his body better, because he got very direct feedback. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did have the advantage of hardwood floors, on carpet this might be a bit harder.  We removed rugs and made it as simple as possible to clean up messes; but once he made a mess, he was expected to help clean up.  Pee messes are &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; easy - by three hopefully he is helping clean up spilled drinks and such, pee is no different, just a towel and you later on can go over with a soap if you need to (but often you don't if it's cleaned up promptly).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This made a huge difference for him: he was upset when he made a mess, but it wasn't too hard to clean up, and he could be involved - and he started learning the physical responses that meant he had to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did combine this with a moderate potty reward system; for pee we really didn't need to do all that much, for poop we had to do a few things (10 minutes of iPad time on the potty while he tries to poop 3x/day, which added up to his 'screen time', plus a five minute bonus if he does poop; the standard M&amp;amp;M rewards (one for pee two for poop, a sticker for trying); and scheduled going once he was not fighting going at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the core of it really is not fighting.  You have to, somehow, convince him that he wants to go, and forcing it won't work.  Give him incentives if they work, but if he really hates the idea, backing off is the best thing you can do.  It's not a loss or giving up; it's recognizing that maybe you and he need a brief breather, and then you can talk about when it's time to go at it again - but perhaps with a little more buy-in from the start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-18T20:08:09.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16677" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-19T16:22:15.040" Score="8" ViewCount="1740" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that most questions on this site about bed wetting involve toddlers. My 6-year-old daughter (almost 7) still wets the bed almost every night. After she was potty trained (a long, difficult process), she wore night time diapers for years. For about the past year, we've had the same routine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Before she goes to bed (around 8:30 pm), she always goes potty. I sometimes let her have a &lt;em&gt;little&lt;/em&gt; drink because I feel guilty making her go to bed thirsty.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We wake her up around 10:30 or 11 (when we go to bed) to go potty. If we wait until after 11 she is usually wet already.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We wake her up at 3:30 am to go again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 3:30 potty time is the most problematic. We used to set our alarm and wake her up ourselves, but this was always a battle because she's groggy and uncooperative at that time in the morning. Over the past few months or so, we've been setting &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; alarm for that time. This was working for a while, but sometimes she sleeps through the alarm, or the alarm malfunctions, or we forget to set it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a plastic cover over her mattress but we're constantly running out of sheets. We've changed her sheets almost every night this week. What should we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Edit&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also wondering: is it okay to make her change her own sheets? This seems like a pretty natural consequence to me, but it also feels a lot like punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11583" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T09:27:46.827" Title="6-year-old bed wetting" Tags="|sleep|potty-training|bedtime|bed-wetting|enuresis|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16678" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-19T16:44:45.663" Score="6" ViewCount="33757" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year-old son constantly has a runny nose. When he sniffles and I hear it, I'll usually ask him to blow his nose. Sometimes he starts arguing and whining as soon as I ask - for some reason he hates blowing his nose - but usually he'll go get a tissue and pick his nose with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, we were waiting for the bus in the car and he was sniffling like crazy. I handed him a tissue and told him to blow his nose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Son: [starts picking his nose with the tissue]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Me: No, son, you have to &lt;em&gt;blow&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Son: [yells] I &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; blow my nose!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Me: You need to blow &lt;em&gt;harder&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Son: [practically crying] I did! Nothing &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt; comes out when I blow&#xA;  my nose!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Me: No, you didn't. If you blew your nose I would have heard it. And&#xA;  from the way you're sniffling it's clear that snot would have come out&#xA;  if you actually blew into the tissue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Son: [more arguing and crying, bus arrives]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Me: Well, put the tissue in your pocket in case you need it later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Son: Eww! No way! Then I'd get snot in my pocket! [leaves tissue on car seat]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Me: Thanks for getting snot on my car seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Son: [crying, gets out of car] Why am I always the worst?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Me: [drives to work angry, posts this question]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I being unreasonable? Isn't it bad for you to constantly have a bunch of snot in your nasal cavity? Like, can't it lead to a sinus infection or something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11583" LastActivityDate="2020-03-26T11:51:36.670" Title="8-year-old refuses to blow his nose" Tags="|hygiene|arguments|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16679" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-19T17:24:55.607" Score="6" ViewCount="857" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is having her bat mitzvah party in January. A few other girls have had birthday parties and did not include her. They are now asking her if they are being invited which makes her really uncomfortable. What do I do? My daughter asked why she was not invited and the reasons are crazy: &quot;I don't have your phone number,&quot; &quot;my mom made a mistake,&quot; &quot;I didn't think you liked parties.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11612" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-19T18:11:19.603" LastActivityDate="2019-07-02T03:15:44.567" Title="Bat mitzvah party invitations" Tags="|parents|friends|party|etiquette|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9196" CreationDate="2014-11-19T17:44:09.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say no, still, despite the OP's own answer. I don't agree that the ability to pan-and-zoom is necessary for a baby monitor, especially considering baby monitors used to only carry audio, not video.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These days, all you need to make a cheap baby monitor is an old smartphone you're not using anymore, but is still functional, and a second smartphone. They two phones have to be the same type of OS (Android &amp;amp; Android or iOS &amp;amp; iOS). (Note, they could also be a mix of phone/tablet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;On both phones, install the same baby monitor app. (These range from free to inexpensive, depending on the features you want).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set up the old phone in the baby's room to act as the recording device.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Monitor the child with the second device.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of these apps support multiple child devices, allowing you to place recording devices in the same room, or throughout the house. The only things you need are places to plug them in, so they keep power, and objects to prop the devices up if you don't have anything already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you can use your current smartphone or tablet as the viewing device, there's no reason it has to be your current model. You can use two old phones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can use data/Internet connections for the app, but it's not required. Some apps, like Dormi's Baby Monitor, allow you to use direct connections from nearby devices to do the monitoring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If both devices are Internet connected, you can easily monitor your child from anywhere you have Internet/data. (A plus for nervous parents that have hired their first babysitter in a long time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are extremely portable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to use an old device. It just makes it more convenient to not use two actively used devices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may need something to prop the recording devices up to your preferred viewing angle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They may cause an LED to be on while the recording device is active. (This could be covered up with electrical tape)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all devices offer video streaming, or even picture taking capabilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no panning of the camera (if there is one). Zooming isn't likely, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apps don't have consistent pricing, and may have hidden in-app purchases needed to activate all the features you desire, even if the app itself is free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-11-19T17:44:09.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16678" CreationDate="2014-11-19T17:53:10.343" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NOTE:&lt;/strong&gt; I'm not a pediatrician. Contact one for a professional evaluation of how much snot is too much. However: It's &lt;em&gt;good for you&lt;/em&gt; to have &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/allergies/features/the-truth-about-mucus&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; mucus in your nasal cavity&lt;/a&gt;: it keeps tissues lubricated, and traps dust and bacteria, preventing it from getting into your lungs (which are more sensitive). Too much snot prevents you from breathing well, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/allergies/postnasal-drip&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; lead to increased sinus or ear infections&lt;/a&gt; -- although I think that the quantity here (a constant sniffle) isn't enough to cause that. (Ref. previous &quot;not a pediatrician&quot; note again.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting away from the question of too-much-snot consequences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he just doesn't know how to do it very well, and has gotten used to it being ineffective (&quot;nothing ever comes out!&quot;) so isn't going to practice, and it's just a spiral of &quot;I can't, so I won't try, so I can't, so I won't try,&quot; etc. In fact, my spouse was in his twenties before he learned how to blow his nose reasonably well, &lt;em&gt;and his excuse was exactly the same&lt;/em&gt;. He'd decided there must be something wrong with his sinuses, since &quot;nothing ever came out.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bit of Googling turned up this article, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.metroparent.com/Metro-Parent/January-2012/Teaching-Kids-How-to-Blow-Their-Noses/&quot;&gt;Teaching Kids How to Blow Their Noses&lt;/a&gt;, which largely encapsulates the approach I took with my kids (and the spouse). Since he's older and understands how airflow and his nose work in general, focus on technique and skip the bits about blowing paper around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't blow too hard. If you need a lot of air pressure to force something loose, it probably doesn't need to be blown out, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; it's easy to give yourself a headache, noseache, or earache (which will just teach him to hate nose-blowing even more).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Work on holding one nostril closed at a time, which:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;puts about twice as much airflow out of the open one without requiring very hard blowing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ensures both nostrils get a chance to be cleared -- often one is more snotty than the other, and without pinching one at a time, the more clogged passageway won't get cleared&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-19T19:10:19.263" LastActivityDate="2014-11-19T19:10:19.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16677" CreationDate="2014-11-19T17:55:26.570" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bed wetting, even at 7 years old, is common.  About 1 in 40 children at that age wet the bed.  Children usually grow out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stop waking her in the night.  That doesn't help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure she is drinking plenty in the day time.  This will help her train her bladder.  She should reduce the amount she drinks in the evenings. Make going to the loo last thing at night part of her bed-time routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Buy an alarm that wakes her up when she wets the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's over 5, and you are finding the bed wetting distressing, so you can go and get medical advice.  This will involve checking for other problems (constipation is often associated with bedwetting). Then you'll be asked to try some self-help techniques; then you'll try a bed-wetting alarm; and finally they might suggest medication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's useful to get medical advice to rule out underlying illness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Bedwetting/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Bedwetting/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-11-28T09:27:46.827" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T09:27:46.827" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16678" CreationDate="2014-11-19T18:04:19.510" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can not blowing your nose lead to a sinus infection or something?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; According to some articles available online, blowing your nose can actually &lt;em&gt;lead&lt;/em&gt; to sinus infections, and possibly ear infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blowing your nose uses much higher pressures than coughing or sneezing, which may cause germs to be blown into your sinuses or your Eustachian tubes. Blowing your nose can also increase the swelling of the sinuses, making them more irritated and uncomfortable. These negative side effects increase when the nose is pinched or clogged while blowing, as a result of the increase of pressure. Some research suggests it's better to not &quot;blow&quot; your nose at all to remove mucus/phlegm. Alternatives include rinsing with saline solutions, wiping away uncomfortable/unsightly drippings, and coughing/sneezing naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The phrase I used to search was: &quot;Effects of not blowing your nose&quot;. However, the results were primarily about why you shouldn't blow your nose. Trust it as far as you would any Internet search, but it’s definitely got me thinking about how I’m going to handle my next sinus infection. I already do saline rinses, but I think I’m going to try them exclusively next time around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Am I being unreasonable?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but the incident suggests you need to try a new tactic. If you want your child to blow his nose better, he may need a demonstration from you. If he doesn't believe he’s actually getting any snot out of his nose, he may need to be shown a closer examination of his snot rag after a good blow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, is his nose constantly running from minor colds a child his age would be exposed to, or is it possible that it’s from allergies? If it is allergies, then treating those may help alleviate his symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2014-11-19T23:13:09.010" LastActivityDate="2014-11-19T23:13:09.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16679" CreationDate="2014-11-19T19:05:53.917" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mazel tov :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bat mitzvah is the same as any party: she invites those people who she wants to share in her celebration and achievement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd encourage your daughter to &lt;strong&gt;consider inviting them&lt;/strong&gt;. Being forgiving shows a level of maturity, and it's an important lesson of adulthood that sometimes you have to put up with inconsiderate, entitled people. But &lt;strong&gt;don't push it&lt;/strong&gt;, particularly with girls who made some of the sillier excuses. Nobody is &lt;em&gt;entitled&lt;/em&gt; to be there except your daughter. (The only exception I'd make is if she's inviting her entire class, in which case leaving out a few isn't appropriate.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So nobody should &lt;em&gt;expect&lt;/em&gt; an invitation, particularly somebody who didn't extend your daughter the same consideration. But let's assume Friend's etiquette isn't up to snuff and she is asking about the party in such a way that it's clear she expects to come.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid snarky comments like &quot;didn't think you liked parties&quot; or &quot;my mom made a mistake,&quot; which is just weak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most reasonable response is straightforward:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You aren't invited.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;I'm sorry, but you aren't invited.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;I don't think I'm going to be inviting you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Friend doesn't really need to be told more than that, but maybe Friend is just clueless and rude, or your daughter wants to let her down more gently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;We've only got a limited space and/or guest list. I had to think of my family and close friends first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;I was only allowed to invite so many people, sorry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or focus on the meaning of a bat mitzvah (which is only effective if Friend is not Jewish):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;This isn't just &quot;some party,&quot; it's an important part of my religious journey and has deep meaning to me. Do you know what being called to the Torah is about?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If Friend gets pushy and whines that she thought she &lt;em&gt;was&lt;/em&gt; a close friend, then a couple of options...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Oh, I was confused when you didn't invite me to your party. That hurt my feelings and I just assumed we weren't as close as I thought.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Friend, I don't feel like we're that close. You didn't invite me to your birthday party and you gave a sort of weird excuse about it. I just don't feel comfortable sharing this event with you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can also be used directly instead of starting off with excuses about space or religious reasons. It's what I'd choose to say personally, but I'm an adult and capable of handling awkward situations. When I was 13, I would never have wanted to start off with that level of confrontation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-11-19T19:05:53.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16677" CreationDate="2014-11-19T23:21:36.173" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is the school nurse at an outdoor school (sixth grade camp) and this problem is very common among the sixth graders (10-11 year olds) she sees. They've developed procedures so these kids can attend successfully without the other kids knowing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As annoying as this is, it will pass. Adding shame, even unintentionally, will help nothing and hurt a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-11-19T23:21:36.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16678" CreationDate="2014-11-20T06:33:57.397" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he always has a runny nose, have you thought of taking him to a doctor? Clearly you have wondered if this is bad for him, or can cause problems. You're the adult here, and you're responsible for your child's health. It won't work to wait for your son to say,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hey, Dad? I have this constantly runny nose. Do you think you can take me to my Pediatrician to have me checked? Or do you think an Allergist would be a better choice? Maybe an Otorhinolaryngologist? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is 8 years old. That's a mighty tender age, and you could use a softer approach, because you're interacting with him in a way that is not very healthy for you, him or your relationship with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, lets look at this interaction:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You: Well, put the tissue in your pocket in case you need it later.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Son: Eww! No way! Then I'd get snot in my pocket! [leaves tissue on car seat]&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  You: Thanks for getting snot on my car seat. {&lt;em&gt;sarcasm&lt;/em&gt;}&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Son: [crying, gets out of car] Why am I always the worst?!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want the snotty tissue on your seat, why are you telling him to put it in &lt;em&gt;his pocket&lt;/em&gt;? Handing him a clean tissue to put in his pocket (as well as keeping a small trash basket in the car) would have prevented the last upsetting exchange. Also, &lt;em&gt;It's not what you say but rather how you say it&lt;/em&gt;. Grown-ups who use sarcasm with young children risk being misunderstood at best and creating lasting wounds at worst. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son actually says things like &lt;em&gt;Why am I always the worst?!&lt;/em&gt; after an interaction with you, you need to examine your own behavior more than ask about a runny nose. Sure, you're wondering what to do, but a runny nose won't do him nearly as much harm in the long run as will a bad relationship with you. So I'll leave the runny nose up to you and your choice of doctors or advisors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From your end, you hear your son's snuffles. You ask him to blow his nose, even though he doesn't like it (and you know that already). Are you being unreasonable? No, not at all. Not even a little bit. Are you prepared for his likely unpleasant reaction? It doesn't sound like you are. Instead it's frustrating and aggravating. It escalates to the point of crying and anger at the beginning of both of your days. That last part &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; your responsibility to prevent with a little forethought. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another responsibility you have as a parent is to raise your child, to the best of your ability, to be a successful adult. To do that you have to &lt;em&gt;plan&lt;/em&gt;, you can't coast along and hope it happens. For all adults, the default position is to parent like our parents did with us. But a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of us don't want that for our own children, so we need examples of alternatives. That's where books and support groups and such come in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're frustrated with your son's runny nose, take him to a doctor. If you're frustrated with your interactions with your son, do something helpful about it. Get your pediatrician's (and some internet) advice on good parenting books and a library card, and start learning better ways of interacting with your child. It will bring a lot of good to both of you (and maybe more).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to address sarcasm&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sarcasm is socially acceptable witty banter among adults. But children are not miniature adults. When used with young children, it is reduced to callousness because sarcasm relies on a type of subtlety that most children under the age of 10 do not pick up on. Children are much more apt to interpret words literally and to miss or disregard non-verbal cues. Sarcasm is, by definition, biting and critical. It's a passive aggressive behavior in which the speaker expresses covert hostilities in sugarcoated, &quot;humorous&quot; ways. When the child is hurt (&lt;em&gt;&quot;Why am I always the worst?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;), the adult can defend themselves with &lt;em&gt;&quot;Can't you take a joke?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; Showing empathy is one of the best ways to strengthen the parent-child relationship.  Parents cannot show empathy while being sarcastic simply because empathy is sincere, while sarcasm is not. Children need our encouragement — never belittlement. Sarcasm is not a desirable form of communication with children, and often leaves them feeling confused, hurt, and with damaged self esteem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201110/very-funny-why-sarcasm-is-no-laughing-matter-kids&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Why Sarcasm is No Laughing Matter for Kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.arizonafamilyinstitute.com/the-effects-of-sarcasm-on-children/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Effects of Sarcasm on Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://familyshare.com/why-to-avoid-sarcasm-with-your-kids&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Why to avoid sarcasm with your kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/1130022?uid=3739864&amp;amp;uid=2&amp;amp;uid=4&amp;amp;uid=3739256&amp;amp;sid=21104607740021&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Words Speak Louder Than Actions: Understanding Deliberately False Remarks&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&amp;amp;aid=7247384&amp;amp;fileId=S0305000909009520&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Development of children's ability to distinguish sarcasm and verbal irony&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.degruyter.com/view/j/jlse.1988.17.issue-2/jlse.1988.17.2.122/jlse.1988.17.2.122.xml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CHILDREN AND SARCASM: A PSYCHOLINGUISTIC STUDY&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-11-21T04:11:13.437" LastActivityDate="2014-11-21T04:11:13.437" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16679" CreationDate="2014-11-20T12:47:46.787" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I think that she'll only have one bar mitzvah. She should invite those who are special to her. If people are asking her if they are invited she can then be honest and say &quot;It's a really special thing to me and so I need people there who I'm close to.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, it's about giving her the tools to achieve what she wants on this special day. Explaining to her that future consequences of not inviting this or that girl are irrelevant since it just makes clear a situation that is already there. It will also help the other girls understand that there is a consequence to their actions, and provided your daughter continues to be herself and not proud or haughty or uses the party as something to come back in an argument with, then they may end up having second thoughts on how they treat her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly I think it's clear that maybe some group bullying is going on, and when it's a group, factors like respect and honour don't generally have a say, so if she invites them, she may have an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help her understand that it's her decision and she should not be scared or unsettled by anything the other girls say, because you are there to help her, give her the language that she needs, back her up at school without disempowering her. Part of the deal here is empowering her to do what she wants to do, not what the other girls want her to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-11-20T12:47:46.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16678" CreationDate="2014-11-21T01:22:36.187" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I want to bring out and focus on here is the specific elements of the question, &amp;quot;How do I get my son to blow his nose?&amp;quot;, which seems to me the core of the question above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer: You largely need to let your son figure out for himself that he needs to learn to blow his nose (either figure out how to do it, or figure out how to ask for help), while helping him understand your rationale for wanting him to.  This is the core of some of the teaching approaches, such as &lt;em&gt;Parent Effectiveness Training&lt;/em&gt;: that convincing your child to &lt;em&gt;choose&lt;/em&gt; to do something is more effective than forcing or requiring them to do it.  This reduces conflict (because you aren't applying a restriction to the child, and instead are gaining their buy-in), at the cost of having to sometimes let things go at least temporarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic approach (which i'll detail below the break) is to use active listening, trying to get him to tell you his reasoning behind the issue.  Ultimately you find out what the real problem is, whether it's because of the cleanliness, physical discomfort, not caring about the snot, or not knowing how to; and then you leave yourself open to him asking how to fix that problem if he wants to ask.  No unsolicited advice, just opening a dialog where he tells you what the problem is and you indicate that you understand the problem.  That gives him the opening to ask for help if needed/wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, of course it doesn't fully apply to serious or life threatening issues - I'm going to require my three year old to not walk in the middle of a busy street alone certainly - but even then the approach is sound, insomuch as you try to get him to choose not to walk in the street alone while still requiring it, and as much as possible explain why you feel the way you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below the break here I'll go through some of the potential dialog, largely in the structure of &lt;em&gt;Parent Effectiveness Training&lt;/em&gt; (show some examples of how the conversation could go that aren't optimal, then give an example of a better conversation).  I'm not an expert here, just a parent, but I find this effective even with my preschooler much of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not a doctor, also, and can't say if this is one of those serious situations where you need to intervene even without being asked - I doubt choosing not to blow your nose will cause health issues, but I can't know for sure - so I'll answer both ways, first assuming it's not, then a followup assuming it is after the second break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step is to non-confrontationally ask your child to do it.  (1 level is you, 2 levels quote is your child, we will call Johnny.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hi Johnny, I notice you have a stuffy nose.  Would you please blow it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did blow it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, so he did blow it, but not hard enough.  Or he didn't, but he thinks telling you he did blow it will get you off his case.  Let's see if we can get at that a bit more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some possible responses:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Well, you obviously didn't blow it hard enough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you did blow it, why can I still hear all of that snot?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It sounds like there's still an awful lot of snot in there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these are fairly confrontational responses, and none are likely to gain his cooperation.  The first two are pretty clearly confrontational - you're directly telling him what he did wrong (and that it was wrong), or challenging the veracity of his statement.  &lt;em&gt;It might be untrue&lt;/em&gt;, but challenging veracity is always confrontational - he knows it's untrue if it is, and telling him so isn't helpful at gaining his cooperation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even the last response is somewhat confrontational, because you're &lt;em&gt;implicitly&lt;/em&gt; stating either 1 or 2 is true, or else you're stating the blindingly obvious.  It might be effective in a normally calm setting, but it's easy for this particular conversation to go off the rails - so here's a somewhat better approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You blew your nose, but you're still feeling uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, now we're doing better. You're telling him how you think he feels (he's itching at his nose still, so he's clearly uncomfortable), and you're not accusing him of lying to you.  You're indicating you trust him (whether or not he is telling the truth) and inviting some more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You blew your nose, but you're still feeling uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yeah, blowing my nose doesn't ever get anything out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we know that &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; thinks that blowing doesn't work.  Rather than telling him to blow harder, let's see if we can get in a bit more:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't think blowing your nose is an effective way to get your nose cleared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nope, it never works for me.  Picking my nose with my kleenex works a lot better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, now we know why he picks his nose with the kleenex: not to exasperate you, but because he thinks it is the best solution.  We've pretty much collected the information we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One option here is to stop.  He clearly knows that it's possible to blow your nose, and knows that you favor that solution.  He also knows that you're concerned about his nose, and if it causes him a problem, he knows he can go to you for help.  This is a good solution if you think the problem is not a severe one and are willing to be patient; your child will eventually figure out that he needs to learn how to blow his nose properly, and will either figure it out or ask for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, as I said above, I don't want to discount the possibility that this is a more serious problem that you want to more proactively address.  How you do that is to follow up the above conversation with providing information in a way that is not too pushy, but tells him how you feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jonny, when you don't blow your nose completely, it makes me feel worried that you will develop a sinus infection and get sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dad, I don't want to blow my nose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've conveyed your feelings, and he's rejected them; not the nicest thing to do, but not exactly a shock from a child who isn't fully aware of others' feelings (ie, all of them).  Let's see if we can reinforce the feeling and get some more information out - still not really pushing, but trying to encourage more conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't like blowing your nose, even though it makes me worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, it hurts when I blow my nose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, this isn't exactly a shock: it hurts when I blow my nose, too.  It also was something I had a very hard time learning &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It hurts when you blow your nose hard?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, because the inside of my nose feels like it got hit with a hammer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So he does know how to blow it hard - that is exactly what it &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; feel like.  But he doesn't like the feeling, and is willing to exchange a lesser, longer term pain for a short term pain.  I don't have a good suggestion for how to deal with that issue; you have to decide between trying to offer advice that may not be taken well, or laying off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or maybe he says&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It hurts when you blow your nose hard?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yeah, and it feels like it's not doing anything, it just feels like I'm blowing a lot of air.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, so he doesn't know what to do.  That's easier to handle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You feel like blowing your nose doesn't do anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yeah.  Air just comes out of whatever side of the nose isn't stopped up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you hold one of your nostrils closed and blow one at a time, or do you blow both?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both.  (This is how most children are trained.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I blow my nose, I blow one nostril at a time, holding the other one closed with a bit of the kleenex.  That usually works pretty well for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other problems of course can be met with similar advice.  It's not always going to work - sometimes he doesn't want to hear your advice, and as often as possible it's better to get him to ask for it - but if you feel it's important to convey the information, it can be done in a relatively non-confrontational manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-21T01:22:36.187" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16693" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-21T04:26:46.350" Score="5" ViewCount="1205" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just heard about &lt;em&gt;Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids&lt;/em&gt; by Dr. Laura Markham (on this site) and I started looking into it. I really like some of the things I've read about this approach to parenting, but I have some questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does Dr. Markham actually recommend rewarding misbehavior? I can't find it now, but I read a customer review on Amazon that said something to the effect of &quot;My life is so much better now. When my son hits my daughter, I just hug him and tell him I love him.&quot; I don't see how this could possibly reduce misbehavior. If anything, basic psychology says you can expect the misbehavior to increase.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does Dr. Markham really say you should turn behavior problems into games?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In one example, a child wants the parent to move from a particular spot on the couch and the parent is supposed to make fun and games with the child... but not move from the spot... Another example is about spitting, instead of consequences for spitting in the house the solution was to take the child outside to make a game of spitting out there. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/review/R398NFJKYLAJR0/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;ASIN=0399160280&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;(source)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems impractical to me. I barely have the energy to get my kid a drink, let alone take him outside for spitting contest. Also, I think this could lead to problems at school where it's just not possible to make games out of everything, or when I'm in the middle of something and can't.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not necessarily looking for a product review, but I'm wondering about the approach itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11583" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-22T11:59:09.243" LastActivityDate="2018-04-22T11:59:09.243" Title="Questions about &quot;Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids&quot;" Tags="|discipline|psychology|books|attachment|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16693" CreationDate="2014-11-21T12:24:58.093" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regarding the second point, the idea is that it teaches the child to do things in an appropriate setting. Instead of spitting inside, we go outside into the garden and have a game there. It's about positive reinforcement of what you wanted to say anyway. If our kids start chucking stuff around, we tell them that they can go outside and do that which is fine to do outside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first part is difficult as there is much to be said for hugging the one who has been wronged because the family does need to be a fair place. I think what the book is getting at is that you don't autopsy the situation (&quot;Who did what? When? Why? really? Then why did he do that...&quot;), you don't fight it out, but you show love to the kids, affirm who they are, then it is easier to then give them the tools to manage their relationships more easily primarily because you will be calm. You won't be angry, annoyed and they will be more receptive to you in that mode. Provided you are firm and consistent and work with positive reinforcement as I think the book is suggesting then you should have a peaceful house. For example if they fight then the book seems to suggest to hug them, and then show them how to turn that behaviour into a game in an appropriate way, for example have an arm wrestle in a specific place, but you don't affirm the fighting. So you always affirm the person, not the behaviour, if that makes sense. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-11-21T12:24:58.093" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16695" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-21T19:08:59.513" Score="2" ViewCount="5992" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15-year-old daughter just stopped talking and I have no clue why. She won't talk to anybody. She has gone to her principal about the situation. Her principal has given her permission to write her answers on a piece of paper in order to talk to her teachers. She will type her answers on her phone and text me her answer! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This breaks my heart not knowing what I can do to help her. It started 11/18/2014. She had just found out that her best friend was switching from her school to another. Even though she was still living in the same house it was truly killing my daughter. She keeps crying herself to sleep. Could this be over this and that she's depressed and doesn't want to talk to anybody but her friend or what? I honestly don't know what to do about this. Can somebody please tell what to do about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11620" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-14T13:21:55.483" LastActivityDate="2019-02-14T13:21:55.483" Title="Why would a 15-year-old just stop talking. Like 'Selective Mutism'?" Tags="|behavior|teen|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16696" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-21T20:33:42.133" Score="2" ViewCount="7423" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter will be two years old in 4 months, and she still doesn't like to chew her food. She won't spit it out; she just tries to swallow it whole. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do to help her learn to chew her food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11621" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-11-21T23:03:16.273" LastActivityDate="2014-11-21T23:03:16.273" Title="What to do if my one year old won't chew her food" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16696" CreationDate="2014-11-21T23:02:24.597" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is about the same age as my second son (also 20 months), and he is a very interesting case in this regard.  He's demanded food that could be chewed since, no joke, 4 months old; no mash for him, only at least vaguely toothy food.  But, he often doesn't chew still to this day - mashes it around and then tries to swallow, but doesn't properly reduce the food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this in my son's case is lack of teeth.  He only has 2 of his 4 molars, meaning he can't really use the molars properly.  I suspect the other part is that he is used to doing what he does since he's never needed to do anything else and it works well enough - he learned from a very very young age how to avoid chocking, after all, so it doesn't phase him at all.  He just gives me a present (sigh).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do about it is two fold.  First, just be aware of it and cut food up properly for him.  Big enough pieces that he wants to at least do something other than directly swallow, but small enough that it's not a real choking hazard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, we push him periodically with choking-safe foods that need real chewing.  Green beans, for example, when cooked properly are great for this - they're not that hard to chew, and they are long and thin so unlikely to actually choke on, but they are big enough that you want to chew them.  We've found that he is starting to chew his food more, and we're able to give him bigger pieces more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also can try playing chewing games with her - ie, put some food in your mouth and make silly exaggerated chewing motions.  She should see you doing that and (sometimes) try to imitate you - give her some bread even in this case, something very easy to chew but allowing her to mimic the motions.  Children at this age &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt; mimicry and find it irresistible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-21T23:02:24.597" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6735" CreationDate="2014-11-22T01:07:39.000" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anyone considered speaking to your gp or school nurse about this?  My daughter was about 7-8 yrs old when I stsrted having issues with her not sleeping,  she would sing, talk to herself,  read books out loudly etc, I finally got her seen by the doctor and sge was referred to a phycologist who ran some tests and we discovered my daughter has severe adhd (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ) and mild asd Autism spectrum disorder)....&#xA;I am now seeing the same happening with my little boy who's 9 next month only he keeps getting out of bed, wont sleep in his own bed and will only settle down if I lie down beside him... he is now due to be tested.... &#xA;I fully understand about the keeping siblings awake,  the noise, and the fustration it builds up because you think they managed before so why not now... I hope you can find out the cause and get it sorted asap... good luck x&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11622" LastActivityDate="2014-11-22T01:07:39.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16699" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-22T12:17:57.543" Score="5" ViewCount="4585" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 and half year old girl has always loved swimmming we lived abroad in Spain for most of her life so she was always been in the water, head under or not, we got her some swimming lessons, she went to the first one loved it couldn't stop talking about it showing us what she learnt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when she went last week she suddendly freaked out and wouldn't go in crying hysterically, I had to take her out as it's only a half hour lesson and it wasn't fair on the instructors while they were trying to help the other children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She kept screaming 'I want to go home please mummy' so thought maybe it was because I was there, so we got her Aunty to take her again this week and the same thing happened, shes absolutely terrified, nothing happened the first week to make her so terrified so what could it be...i'm really worried...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can she go from loving swimming to petrified shaking in one week, when she had a brilliant time the last week that she went...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11624" LastActivityDate="2018-08-31T09:13:45.463" Title="Sudden fear of swimming!" Tags="|fears|swimming|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8652" CreationDate="2014-11-22T14:58:44.700" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When raising our baby, the changing table was one good place for practicing sound mimicry. I would make a sound, and she would try to imitate. We started with vowel sounds, then work on consonant sounds. Each time she figured out how to form her lips, teeth and tongue to make the sound correctly, I would respond with excitement and laughter. She loved it, and was happy with each success. Each correctly made sound was rewarded with happiness, and incorrect or improperly formed sounds just met a little more practice, and we practiced until she figured it out. I would work slowly with her on the sounds that were more challenging, and exaggerate while she watched, to let her know the approximate teeth and tongue positions for each sound. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incorrect speech habits, once learned, are more difficult to break than getting it right in the beginning. The longer a child mispronounces words, the more challenging it will be to change that habit. Muscle memory becomes reinforced over time, making it more difficult for the person with a mispronunciation problem to change their pronunciation habit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some languages do not use certain sounds, and by the time one reaches adulthood, learning a different language that uses a new sound often forces a substitution mispronunciation because the person's mouth is not accustomed to making  the sound required in that new language. For example, people who speak Japanese as their first language, if learning English as an adult, will have had decades of not pronouncing the letter L, So for them, pronouncing the letter L is very unfamiliar territory, and many are unable to train their tongue and lips to make the sound, so instead use a substitute sound. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The simplest solution to correcting the lisp is to never let it get started as a substitute sound! Working with your infant to mimic sounds, and reward with joyous approval when they mimic your sounds correctly is an excellent way to build their enunciation skills from the beginning. Start with vowel sounds, then as they get them right and make you laugh and giggle, work your way through consonants, always making it a fun game, just a few sounds at a time, until they develop fluency with them all. Next, show them alphabet letters or pictures of animals or objects whose names use those sounds. That will give them the proper building blocks for forming words, plus a visual association so they remember them. But to let a lisp go uncorrected in the beginning, to not pay attention and provide involved guidance through nurture and parental practice at the very beginning of a child's efforts to communicate with speech, well, you do the child a disservice. Ignoring the incorrectly made sound is tacit approval that it is OK, and the child will continue, until it is harder and harder to correct. As with many things in life, the longer a bad habit is postponed, the more difficult it is to change, to correct. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this assumes that there are no physical abnormalities that need to be addressed medically. A lisp is almost always just an incorrect speech habit learned early and left unaddressed until much later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a parent's responsibility to give their children the tools in life they will need in order to be successful, to thrive, and it is a parent's responsibility to teach them the best they can how to properly use those tools. Think of a child picking up a screwdriver, or a fork, or a spoon by the wrong end, but is not taught from the very beginning how to properly hold it. Speech, although more complex than a screwdriver fork or spoon, is just one more tool we must be taught how to use well in order to get where we want to go in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11625" LastEditorUserId="11625" LastEditDate="2014-11-22T15:12:35.300" LastActivityDate="2014-11-22T15:12:35.300" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16695" CreationDate="2014-11-22T16:42:36.827" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What did her doctor say?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder. It's not rare - about 1 in 150 children will have selective mutism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to see a doctor, and make sure that you persist in getting help even if the initial doctor says your daughter will grow out of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Treatment should focus on behavioural therapies and cognitive behavioural therapy.  Medication probably won't be needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/selective-mutism/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/selective-mutism/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not medical information. You need to see a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-11-22T16:42:36.827" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16704" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-23T10:32:27.177" Score="3" ViewCount="63" Body="&lt;p&gt;My twins are 4 1/2 months old. They are exclusively breastfed. We start our bedtime routine at 8: we take a bath, breastfeed, then rock to sleep. By 10 they will be asleep. However, each 2-3 hrs they will wake up to breastfeed. They never slept for more than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? Aren't they supposed to sleep for a stretch of 5-6 hours yet? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-11-23T12:26:57.000" LastActivityDate="2014-11-23T12:26:57.000" Title="Why don't my twins sleep for a longer stretch of time?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-11-25T10:16:20.823" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16699" CreationDate="2014-11-24T13:21:33.307" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keep taking her to swim, and don't let her see your distress at HER distress.  She could misinterpret that as &quot;OMG Mommy is scared of the water too I was RIGHT!&quot; as opposed to the more correct &quot;Mommy is sad that I'm scared.&quot;  What worked for us, when our daughter was INSANELY FREAKED by water, was repetition and calmness.  We took her to lessons as usual, even if we had to get in the water with her and just hold her while she shrieked.  We played in the shallow water and let her see how much fun it could be, and then reinforced that like we were getting paid for it.  &quot;Isn't it fun to splash/blow bubbles/etc? Yay!  We love water!&quot;  She screamed for the first three lessons after she developed this fear of water, and then just whined about not wanting to go, and now she's a little fish and talking about joining the local swim team.  Same procedure worked with our son: he got freaked out when he was bowled tail-over-teakettle by a particularly strong wave, but we kept going out, and practiced going under the water, and he worked his way past it and is also a little fish-in-progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if it turns out to be more intractable than what our kids went through, @JeremyMiller has it right.  It's hard to get logical information out of a 2-yr-old when they're scared of something, so be prepared to (a) be patient and (b) ask a LOT of questions several times.  You'll have to find a way for her to tell you what's going on in her head if you want to be able to FIX it.  If all else fails, a competent pediatric psychiatrist might be able to figure it out, but considering how common this is in my own circle, chances are you won't have to go there.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T13:21:33.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2172" CreationDate="2014-11-24T15:28:27.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first thought reading this was teething. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it is a way for the baby to &quot;self soothe&quot; which is the beginning of a vital skill that they will need to learn for later in life.  Hope that makes sense. When my little one was a few months old I read that if you do not offer a pacifier (dummy) or allow thumb/finger sucking it would be &quot;cruel&quot; (these are not my direct words, just something that stuck in my mind).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My LO didn't take to a dummy straight away but I persisted and once she got used to it she was fine with it.  I was also told by my doctor that the saliva produced during the suckling aids digestion.  x&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T15:28:27.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16440" CreationDate="2014-11-24T15:59:02.220" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great suggestions already above. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say try to take her lead on what she likes to do and join in with her.  I agree that playing should not be forced gender specific.  My little girl loves her doll and pram but equally loves dinosaurs and climbing and construction.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My fond memories with my Dad as a child were of cycling together, building &quot;dens&quot; in the garden out of old stuff we found in the garage, gardening (weeding, planting vegetables etc) and going for walks/rambles in the woods.  Oh and the all time favourite, him sitting our legs and tickling our feet lol. We also used to make him sit through and judge &quot;fashion shows&quot; with our dolls (there's 3 of us, 2 girls and a boy). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you are all having fun it is the time you are spending with her, rather than what you are doing specifically, that's important. x&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T15:59:02.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16677" CreationDate="2014-11-24T16:30:25.937" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really should pass, however I know that the addition of shame can prolong and even make the issue worse. Waking her up with break up her sleep and make her more tired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience is that bedwetting is best solved with rewards and celebration of success. Ultimately if it continues to 10+years old there may be trauma that is contributing to the problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know your daughter is amazing. Yes, she is late going through the night dry, but it's not the end of the world. Manage it as best you can as it will pass and above all take the pressure off; she'll have enough of that from people at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2014-11-25T09:14:24.217" LastActivityDate="2014-11-25T09:14:24.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2014-11-24T16:31:13.660" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Peppa Pig is definitely a strong female character :) She is always showing Daddy Pig who's boss.  You can watch these on YouTube (usually some adverts though).  It's based on very simple, normal, every day life situations such as going on picnics or going to the supermarket.  There are a variety of &quot;grown up&quot; characters that are both male and female and have various different roles.  If I remember correctly the vet is female, the dentist is male, the fire station is (wo)manned by female fire people and Miss Rabbit does basically everything else. As someone else said earlier, there is no concept of race because every family is a different animal. x&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T16:31:13.660" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2014-11-24T21:02:46.263" Score="-6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you don't want kids, get a vasectomy! Don't leave the birth control to someone else especially if they want a big family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11635" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T21:02:46.263" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16711" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-24T21:09:59.120" Score="1" ViewCount="367" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anyone have any thoughts on this? &#xA;I observed Bella - 6 years old. Playing with children. This was all in the time frame of 30 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sophia accidentally brushes her lightly on the arm. She said loudly, Sophia hit me. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While Bella was coloring 12 month old baby gently with flat palm of hand touched her hair. She again loudly said, Evie pulled my hair. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then the kids were playing tag, when she got tagged she yelled, Tony is hitting me. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My step daughter (has two kids of her own) is engaged to Bella's father and I am concerned as if she is like this at 6 what other lies is she going to tell when she is 14. They say she does this all the time (school/home) - it is a problem but stumped as what to do. Apparently, her mother is like this too. Poor thing, no one in the family wants to play with her now (we have a lot of grand-kids). Who can blame them? She is lying and trying to get kids in trouble when they have done nothing. I see red flags. Her dad says she has always been like this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11635" LastActivityDate="2014-11-25T12:46:13.300" Title="Child worse than tattling she lies" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15069" CreationDate="2014-11-24T21:22:17.627" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My family is gassy...maybe just tell the class instead of farting and burping they should excuse them-self and go to the bathroom. Or instruct them to try going to the bathroom before they arrive to class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11635" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T21:22:17.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16677" CreationDate="2014-11-24T21:25:33.067" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was a bed wetter until he was 8 and his father and I split. I mean it stopped as soon as he left. Maybe stress?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11635" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T21:25:33.067" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16693" CreationDate="2014-11-24T23:30:35.870" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know the specific lines you're referring to.  However, the general approach favored by Dr. Markham is to avoid punishments, in favor of setting limits; and responding with empathy when the limits are broken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, how I would interpret the spitting example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry, but spitting on the floor/table inside is not allowed, Johnny.  It's messy, makes the floor/table wet, and means I have to clean after you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom, I like to spit. [spits]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, let's go spit outside then. [takes child outside]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parent is setting the limit (and explaining how the parent feels, to try and make a bond with the child here).  The child violates the limit, so the parent takes the child outside.  The point of this is largely to remove the child from the situation causing the problem (in this case, being inside).  It's not always possible, but it's certainly one reasonable solution.  Making it a 'game' enhances the bonding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Markham's main point here is to avoid having punishments: you aren't removing the child as a punishment, you're removing the child because they haven't the self discipline to avoid violating the limits set.  You have many other tools for dealing with this - requiring them to clean the floor, for example, again not as punishment but simply because their action caused an effect (the floor needs cleaning), just as if they'd spilled a glass of milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her approach is focused on building a bond between your child and you, so that your child wants to behave well, and learns self control; authoritarian parenting (ie, parenting where the parent directs the child how to behave) differs in that it does not teach the child self control.  It does include limits, which makes it different from permissive parenting (where the parent does not serve at all as an authority figure), but it focuses more on building respect and an emotional connection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to read more about her approach, her &lt;a href=&quot;http://ahaparenting.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;website&lt;/a&gt; has much of the material from the book, and explains in detail why it differs from some other methods of parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-24T23:30:35.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9245" CreationDate="2014-11-25T00:09:19.273" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This worked for my kids about the same age - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would you like to add it to your wish list (wish list is something they wanted and would pull out the list for birthdays and holidays)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sure you can have it. Did you bring your money? - If they insist you buy it with your money then go into the my money needs to be used for food, house, car etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11635" LastActivityDate="2014-11-25T00:09:19.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16711" CreationDate="2014-11-25T07:59:57.820" Score="7" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Anyone have any thoughts on this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My thoughts: Bella has gone through a lot and is facing more change. She is 6 years old. She needs some people to love her, to hear her, and to react lovingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By lovingly, I don't mean ignoring her exaggerations, which are clearly an attempt to get attention. By lovingly, I mean doing the hard work of looking at our own reactions, rejecting what is not love, and responding with the best of what's left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine for a moment what it must feel like to have no say in how your parents behave. Remember that you rely on them for basically &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;. They can fight, they can yell, they can move out of the house, they can choose to see you less often, they can get married to new people, they can do all kinds of things you have &lt;em&gt;no control over&lt;/em&gt;. It must be incredibly frightening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than address Bella's unfortunate attempts to get attention, I think I would encourage the new family to get some counseling, or at the very least, read a few good books about the effect of divorce and remarriage on children and melded families. Then I would try very hard to &lt;em&gt;hear&lt;/em&gt; Bella.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this is &lt;strong&gt;the&lt;/strong&gt; answer, but it's one. When she makes such an outlandish accusation, I would completely ignore it, so that she doesn't get attention for accusations. Later, I would have a little sit-down and ask her what she's feeling when she says these things, and go from there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, I would give her positive reinforcement when she behaves well, alone or with others, as well as for other things, like good choices. I would give her opportunities to exert some control over her day-to-day life. (What do you want to wear to school tomorrow? What story would you like me to read to you tonight? Do you want milk, juice or water with lunch?) She deserves that much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-25T07:59:57.820" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16699" CreationDate="2014-11-25T10:18:07.823" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a bit of a different approach than that of @Valkyrie, and want to add that the answer depends on your parenting philosophy. I do wholeheartedly agree with asking her!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know why your daughter developed a sudden fear of water. I presume she was accustomed to salt water before, and that her swim lessons are in chlorinated water? Maybe that's what happened? Chlorinated water is more unpleasant in eyes/nose/etc. than sea water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not push her at all. Empathizing with our child's distress is part of parenting (I believe). Encouraging children to overcome fears is another big part of parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you take her to the beach on a warm day and she loves it, then you will know she's not afraid of the water per se. If you take her to a different pool, maybe less crowded, and just play with her, and she is hesitant but ok, then you have narrowed it down again. Keep working on narrowing it down. In the process, you might help her to deal with that fear she experienced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-25T10:18:07.823" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16711" CreationDate="2014-11-25T12:46:13.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, I would suggest you try to learn to make your very first question, always:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;are you ok?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if someone brushes against her and she yells that the person hit her (presumably wanting to get the other one &quot;in trouble&quot;) ignore that part about the other person and ask &quot;are you hurt?&quot; &quot;are you ok?&quot; &quot;does it hurt?&quot; &quot;do you need to come away from what you're doing and sit here with me because you got hurt?&quot; And I don't mean in the way that many parents [including me, when it was appropriate] ask &quot;is anybody bleeding?&quot; to get older children to have some perspective and stop complaining, I mean genuinely truly asking her what she is reporting to you &lt;strong&gt;about herself&lt;/strong&gt;. Pay absolutely no attention to what she reports about the other person - you saw that it was just a touch. Ask her if she is ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is? That's great, back to what you were doing. She isn't? How can I help you? She may wish for you to help her by punishing the other, and you can just calmly say that you're not going to do that, and ask her again what she needs and how you can help her. Nothing? OK, well I'm sorry to hear that you aren't feeling happy right now. Then some sort of positive suggestion like &quot;do you want to keep colouring with Evie, or would you rather [some specific suggestion like read a book or play a solo game that the baby can't play]? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes a lot of practice to always start with &quot;are you ok?&quot; and not &quot;What did you just do?&quot; &quot;Who started it?&quot; &quot;What just broke?&quot; &quot;Who said that?&quot; &quot;do I need to bring a mop?&quot; and the like, typically in an angry or exasperated tone. I learned to do it. From the next room there's a &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;CRASH!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; and everyone starts yelling at once, as you run towards them ask &quot;are you ok? Is anyone hurt?&quot; Whatever broke will never know whether you asked about it first or not. But your children (and all the other children who visit your home) will always remember that your first question, every time, wasn't aimed at figuring out who to blame and punish, but making sure that the kids were ok. And in this case, asking her &lt;strong&gt;about herself&lt;/strong&gt; every time puts the focus on her, as she wants, and gives you a chance to show you care, not by punishing others for non-transgressions, but by lavishing a little TLC on someone who is clearly hurting. Perhaps once she understands she can trust you to care about this, she will stop making up reasons to draw this positive attention onto herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-11-25T12:46:13.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16632" CreationDate="2014-11-25T17:23:00.317" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is a definitive answer for this question.  The behavioral and development specialists at the children's hospital where my sons PCP is all agree that co-sleeping is bad and should only be allowed as an exception to comfort a child on stormy nights or after other upsetting events.  Their arguments are that it prevents children from developing confidence and independence that becomes crucial in early education, and the development of trust that even though they can't see mommy/daddy they are still there.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still other professionals make the exact opposite arguments that the more nurturing co-sleeping reduces separation based stress which in turn promotes stronger development of emotional stability and key skills.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found a study from 2007 that states there is some accuracy to both sides.  I would read a few articles from both sides then play it by ear with consideration of your child's specific behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/245233-long-term-effects-of-sleeping-with-children/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;LiveStrong - good effects&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/savvy-parenting/201403/the-impact-chronic-co-sleeping-older-child&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;PsychologyToday - bad effects&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://webfiles.uci.edu/lyar/familylab/goldberg/Dr._Goldberg_files/Goldberg%20%26%20Keller%20Findings%20and%20Future.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;University of California - Full Study&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastEditorUserId="7756" LastEditDate="2014-11-25T20:06:23.883" LastActivityDate="2014-11-25T20:06:23.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16722" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-26T01:30:50.823" Score="6" ViewCount="458" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-year-old son is quadrilingual (fluent in all), education is in the language that both my husband and I are not speaking. He is our only child. We live in the Dutch speaking part of Belgium. We changed already three countries (including Belgium) since he was three years old but decided to stay here a bit longer. He is tall for his age but much too sensible. He's empathic, funny and helpful to others but lacking self confidence, easy to victimize himself, often thinks his friends don't like him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school he currently visits is also focused on music, drama and science. Besides math, he doesn't have any other issue with any other lessons nor any behaviour problem. He started primary school here in Belgium and ten days after we arrived here, he passed a kind of exam for Dutch to go primary school. If he hadn't passes it, he would have had to go to kindergarden one more year, for language skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately we had many bullying issues, mainly by older kids. These caused us to change school three times due school's policies toward bullying. I think it might have caused the delay as well I would say, because his first catholic school was very strict (giving at least two to three homework assignments every day). My husband and I didn't want him to have a religious education (that was the first school we found). However, he wasn't bad at school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last year we changed to a different kind of school, it was like Waldorf (Rudolf Steiner) but way more like hippies, lacking discipline completely. Classes were a mix of differently aged kids (he was eight, while some kids were ten, eleven and twelve). We thought kids could be more easy going and peaceful but he got bullied constantly by two 12- and 11-year-old kids. It was terrible! So far, this school is good, no bullying (because there are no kids older than nine to ten).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His reading and grammar skills are higher than class average, however he has had issues with Math since 2nd grade. IQ test was normal and the specialist indicated that &quot;it might even be higher because I had to tell him to focus, instead of talking about something else, every five minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He understands perfectly when we explain to him (in two different languages) but he is completely failure about multiplies (except 5's, 10's) and subtraction.&#xA;Everytime we are tying to tell him about math, he is avoiding it and says at the beginning &quot;ah these are too difficult, I am not good at it&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say short time memory issue but he is good at memory games.&#xA;And if I say &quot;attention issue&quot; then every night, before going to bed, he reads books for an hour or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are even taking him to sports like swimming and martial-arts to help him to focus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what else to do...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11642" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-25T13:22:30.960" LastActivityDate="2019-03-25T13:22:30.960" Title="How to help our 9-year-old, who struggles with math, to focus?" Tags="|school|middle-childhood|bilingual|math|attention|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16722" CreationDate="2014-11-26T05:03:34.247" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've taught eighth grade (13-14 year-old kids) algebra for 28 years. The kids who arrive at middle school not knowing their basic multiplication facts are &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; unlikely to succeed in math in high school. Those facts are fundamental to everything from multiplication to division to fractions to factoring polynomials. They don't really understand any of these topics because they never knew the multiplication facts required to practice more advanced topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have two problems. The first is that he thinks he's too stupid to do math, and because he feels that way, he deflects it, he gives up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second problem is that he's already behind in a vital skill. You have to address both problems, so you have to push him without being pushy. Start by explaining how few facts there really are. Draw a typical multiplication table (0 through 10) and start doing the easy ones with him. 0s, 1s, 2s, 5s and 10s are easy. Of the remaining ones, cross off half ... if you know 4x7, you don't need to learn 7x4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/AeG06.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The green ones he knows. The blank ones he doesn't need to know. Only the red ones need to be learned. Just work on a few of those at a time, and he can get them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-11-26T05:03:34.247" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16726" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16730" CreationDate="2014-11-26T10:13:33.290" Score="11" ViewCount="5460" Body="&lt;p&gt;Winter is coming, and with it, Christmas and presents.  We have a 3 years old daughter, who has an almost 2 months old sister, and it's time thinking about which toys to get her (we have almost full control, since we have to choose for presents from grandparents as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, we are wondering about the benefits of dolls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently she has neither dolls nor tea parties (she has tons of cuddly toys though).  When she wants to play tea parties, either she gets actual dishes or she uses objects or toys which look like dishes (or not…).  As for dolls, yesterday she took a jar of pickles, named it as her newborn sister, and used toilet paper to dress it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like not having a doll or tea parties would help developing imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, we can see she tries to identify as her mother and she'd probably like to have a doll which she could dress and play parent with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, I'm wondering about the implications of realistic toys versus &quot;hijacked toys&quot;.  What would be the benefits of having a doll against having her &lt;em&gt;making&lt;/em&gt; a doll of whatever she can find ?  Should we get her one ?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering about the implications of realistic toys versus &quot;hijacked toys&quot;.**&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Side notes :&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I won't buy her a doll just &lt;em&gt;because she's a girl&lt;/em&gt;, because I don't want to enforce gender stereotypes.  I'll buy her one if I think it's beneficial to her mind.  &lt;strong&gt;But gender stereotypes are not the point of my question.&lt;/strong&gt;  Answers addressing primarily this issue are off-topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, she goes to school, but currently she doesn't have much out of school interactions with other children so we're not much concerned about her being jealous of other children toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastEditorUserId="4929" LastEditDate="2014-11-26T17:12:54.690" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T17:12:13.563" Title="Should we get her a doll?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|presents|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-26T13:41:34.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 17 month old granddaughter loves to play with the doll, blanket and crib we have at our house. I have a large grand-kid closet which has trains, cars, dolls, lawnmowers, building blocks, books, slides, tea sets, barbies etc. Whatever she wants to play with is fine and encouraged. Last weekend she spent 45 minutes playing with the doll. Putting her to sleep, fixing the blanket, twirling her around, back to sleep so cute to watch. The closet is filled with toys I have found at garage sales and were in great condition. I like good quality items, but I don't want to pay a lot. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11635" LastActivityDate="2014-11-26T13:41:34.850" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-26T14:35:50.750" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was dubious about getting my little girl a doll as I also did not want to enforce stereo types onto her but she got one for Christmas last year.  At first she wasn't interested but recently has started to play with it a lot, she has a little doll's pram and blanket and little bottle and spoon and dish and she loves to feed her &quot;baba&quot; and put her in her pram and push her back and forth.  I think they are a good tool for helping to teach things like body parts and how to treat other human beings (whether you're a boy or girl). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to balance things with her so she has a lot of toys that you might class as &quot;boy's&quot; toys and lots of &quot;girlie&quot; toys too.  E.g. she has her doll, pram etc but also has Thomas the Tank engine toys and lots of construction type toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has she indicated wanting a doll? She might be playing with jars and toilet paper because that's the closest thing (in her mind) to a doll that she has.  x&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-11-26T14:35:50.750" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-26T16:59:32.313" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Giving a doll to a child who would obviously love it isn't reinforcing a stereotype.  Giving a doll to a girl who you know doesn't like dolls is.  That's an important distinction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should worry about is avoiding letting her love of dolls blind you to her other interests and talents which you might &lt;em&gt;also&lt;/em&gt; support.  My 5 year-old daughter loves dolls, and has a ton of them.  However, we don't &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; give her dolls.  We encourage her creativity with gifts like a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.katydidandkid.com/2014/05/a-kids-tinkering-kit.html&quot;&gt;tinker kit&lt;/a&gt; or this &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/054411454X&quot;&gt;book&lt;/a&gt; of projects to do together.  She also likes these &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hexbug.com/nano/&quot;&gt;hexbug nanos&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, don't try to avoid stereotyping by not letting her have her favorite kind of toy, avoid stereotyping by not &lt;em&gt;limiting&lt;/em&gt; her to that kind of toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-11-26T16:59:32.313" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-26T17:25:15.167" Score="25" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In particular, we are wondering about the benefits of dolls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helps develop coordination, motor skills, social skills, and imagination. Allows the child to act out different roles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dressing, grooming, feeding skills are reinforced with doll play. Coordination when carefully carrying the doll, rocking, or pushing in a stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helps add to the vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It seems like not having a doll or tea parties would help developing imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Creative play may occur when resources are limited, but having a closer representation can also lead to creative and imaginative exercises that won't take place with a poor representation of the object. Desiring to take a pickle jar baby on a swing or slide, for instance, breaks the &quot;fourth wall&quot; so to speak, when the rules one must follow for food or glass items limit the play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that, chances are good she will, at times, need more than one companion simultaneously, and she will still be able to exercise her imagination and fill in the gaps with other stand-ins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;On the other hand, we can see she wants to identify as her mother and she'd like to have a doll which she could dress and play parent with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that dolls may stand in as babies and children, they also can stand in as friends, enemies, authority figures, or allow the child to play any of these roles.  Just because the doll is obviously a baby won't necessarily limit the roles of the doll or your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Finally, I don't want to reinforce gender stereotypes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's expressing stereotypical behavior.  If you buy her toys which enable further exploration and expression of that behavior, then you are reinforcing it.  So if this is a concern, and you don't want to reinforce it, then you probably shouldn't buy the doll.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, being a nurturing and caring human being, learning social skills, and the other benefits listed above are good for both boys and girls. You might want to take a further step back and rather than avoiding or reinforcing gender roles, decide what social and life skills are core to your parenting philosophy, and then take steps to reinforce those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A doll may or may not fit into that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So, what would be the benefits of having a doll against making a doll of whatever she can find ? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The abstraction of objects is already firmly fixed - if you provide a doll what might she be able to do with it within her imagination that she couldn't easily do with the abstractions she's used to dealing with?  To me it's akin to learning complex math operations by hand, then moving on to using a calculator so that I can expand my reach.  It's a convenient shortcut, but it can't be used all the time, so having a foundation to fall back on is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She won't stop creating people with other objects just because she obtained a better simulation.  But she might be able to play differently with a better simulation than she can now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Should we get her one ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your concerns seem to be: by giving her a doll, are we taking valuable opportunities away and/or reinforcing negative stereotypes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't believe either is the case, so if you feel like giving a doll, then you might as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2014-11-26T17:25:15.167" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-26T17:25:36.843" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The benefit of a factory doll versus a made-up doll is, generally, more anatomically correct and potentially safer because it's (allegedly) designed for safety versus a (glass?) jar of pickles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anatomically correct is certainly in the eye of the beholder, but generally speaking it matters for practical applications, especially in the fine motor skills relating to clothing: buttons, zippers, etc. Certainly dolls may be assigned fixed costumes, but those that have some sort of additional mechanics like buttons may be of interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same with tea sets, etc. If the materials aren't subject to break, sliver, choke, etc., then it's probably not a problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, there's the idea of imagination. Sure, you have the choices to make on your own for this, but the take away should be more on safety of the objects than the objects themselves. Also, it should be of interest whether she actually wants one (take her to a store and find out?). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11648" LastActivityDate="2014-11-26T17:25:36.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2014-11-26T18:34:24.717" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a bit early for a 1 year old (early for my 2 year old, too), but I think Peg + Cat from PBS kids is great. The lead is female, and it's all about math. My son loves it, even though the math concepts are beyond his reach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say many of the shows on PBS kids (you can find it on the web and on misc portable devices + streaming boxes) keep away from gender stereotypes. Odd Squad is new and is live action - there are both female and male leads, and the &quot;chief&quot; is female.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also in agreement that the Leap Frog series of shows are good. They are mixed male/female animals and have good subject matter (shapes, alphabets, numbers, counting, even engineering).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, I'd say the quality of children's educational entertainment is improving dramatically, both from a show standpoint and an app standpoint. It's a great time to be a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6908" LastActivityDate="2014-11-26T18:34:24.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16733" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-26T20:03:17.907" Score="1" ViewCount="4867" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 day old newborn has not had a bowel movement in almost 2 days. Should I be worried?&#xA;She is strictly breastfed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11650" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T09:31:24.613" Title="Why is my 6 day old newborn not pooping everyday" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-11-28T19:12:46.390" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16734" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16735" CreationDate="2014-11-26T22:44:06.857" Score="1" ViewCount="8261" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd prefer my son doesn't get his motorbike licence because I think it is dangerous. How can I convince him otherwise?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: He's 18 years old, but still living at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11652" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-01T20:26:54.050" LastActivityDate="2021-01-30T17:26:17.133" Title="My son wants to learn to ride a motorbike. How can I discourage him?" Tags="|driving|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16734" CreationDate="2014-11-26T23:01:53.007" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming that you have no actual say in the matter because he has some degree of independence. &#xA;You are right in that riding a motorbike does put you at more risk of an injury accident (if you want to know what types of injuries, this article covers them off: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.driverknowledgetests.com/resources/common-injuries-motorbike-riders-suffer/&quot;&gt;http://www.driverknowledgetests.com/resources/common-injuries-motorbike-riders-suffer/&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, our brains don't finish developing until we're in our late '20s and that causes us to take risks. There's also the excitement and freedom of owning a motorbike; a certain rebellion that's taking place. Your son will know it is dangerous and that you don't like it, but he probably can't internalise the risks in relation to him, i.e. he could be confident nothing bad will happen to him. He may be trying to assert his independence from you through this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in terms of convincing him otherwise the questions you need to ask yourself are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there any way of offering him something better? E.g. can you help&#xA;him into a car learner licence rather than a motorbike learner&#xA;licence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are there any rational arguments you can propose which would have a&#xA;greater meaning to him. E.g. if he doesn't get a motorbike licence&#xA;then you will help pay for a gap year &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there a friend or relative that you know who has access to&#xA;someone who has been injured badly in a motorbike accident?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there anything your son does where a motorbike would be way less&#xA;convenient than a car, e.g. a certain hobby, or you live in an area&#xA;where it rains a lot?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your son has a girlfriend or boyfriend, are they going to want to&#xA;ride on the back of a motorbike (even when it's raining)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they don't work you can try the scaring approach (information about injury risks, etc), or you can try to get him to empathise with your feelings about the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there really is no chance of changing his mind then the best resource to check out is Transport for NSW's Ride to Live website here &lt;a href=&quot;http://ridetolive.nsw.gov.au/&quot;&gt;http://ridetolive.nsw.gov.au/&lt;/a&gt;. Make sure he gets proper instruction from a good driving instructor and make sure he purchases proper safety equipment - no riding in t-shirt and shorts because tarmac will shred his skin like a cheese grater if he comes off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11330" LastActivityDate="2014-11-26T23:01:53.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2014-11-27T02:40:01.330" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key here isn't television. That is an artifact of the environment. The issue is parents who neglect their children for hours on end which incidentally creates a situation where the kids may watch TV for extended periods. It doesn't matter if the parents watch TV all day themselves also, that's just another form of disregarding your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Watching TV: OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neglecting your children: Bad&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with many things (like economy, for example), there are no recipes for success to be found in parenting, but many recipes for disaster. Multi-hour stretches every week of pure TV has less to do with the TV than multi-hour stretches every week of &lt;em&gt;not engaging in any self discovery&lt;/em&gt;. I expect several hours of staring at a tree every day would be more damaging than staring at a TV for the same period daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids should be active. So should parents. Heck, everyone should be! If you are afraid you're neglecting your kids, that's bad. If you're afraid they might receive entertaining audio-visual stimulation from time to time in the proximity of a TV, that's paranoia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11435" LastEditorUserId="11435" LastEditDate="2014-12-04T14:07:28.073" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T14:07:28.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16737" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-27T07:05:01.120" Score="1" ViewCount="10568" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have put my son to preschool when he was 1.8 yrs now he is 4 yrs old.  He is not recognizing the alphabet and numbers.  He is fast in writing.  He writes the alphabet and numbers but doesn't recognize them...  He is good in all the other activity.... We tried all possibility but not successful... his teacher also finds the same problem... I really don't know what to do.... please help me...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11656" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T08:34:15.760" Title="how to help my 4 yr old son to recognize alphabet and numbers?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-27T07:49:57.017" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dolls are very useful for encouraging role play.  Some children naturally play at random with anything they have - my older (3yo) son does this, but didn't earlier in life.  My twenty month old son, however, has a doll and loves it; he hugs it like a baby and very obviously begins to role play with it at a younger age than his older brother did (who had stuffed animals, but no human dolls).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find this to be largely a personality difference - my younger son is much more personable and social than my older, type-A son.  I wouldn't have gotten the older boy a doll, simply because he didn't have a need for one, and didn't like that kind of play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tea parties, in addition to role play, also allow a child an outlet for working out social behavior.  My older son does this now using cars: mommy is in this car, grandma is in that car, daddy is over here in the train.  They interact and tell each other to follow the rules and greet each other.  Tea parties are a similar event: the child can place the dolls and have them talk to each other, and in so explore different social situations and work out how to respond socially to different stimuli.  After all, one of the most important things socially is to be able to understand how the other person feels; in a solo tea party, the child is able to do that because they are on both sides of the conversation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is even more true with a doll she can parent.  She will have a lot of complex issues to work out in the next two years (until her younger sister is able to talk, at least, and really for the next twenty or more!).  Having a doll might be helpful to allow her to work out some of the feelings she has in relation to her baby sister and to her mother.  That relationship will &lt;em&gt;drastically&lt;/em&gt; change over the next several years, and having an outlet to work that out with can be very helpful (if she is so inclined, of course - again, she may prefer to use cars or blocks or animals or pickle jars.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also say that I wouldn't worry about it stifling creativity re: her using pickle jars for dolls.  She's clearly creative; she'll just start using pickle jars as chairs, or as microphone stands/podiums, or as who knows what.  It's very hard to stifle creativity in a three year old, as long as you follow the old Improv rule (&quot;Always say yes.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T07:49:57.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16733" CreationDate="2014-11-27T09:31:24.613" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Strictly breastfed babies may have from 10 diapers with stool a day, to one diaper with stool every seven to ten days. Breast milk can be so perfectly suited to the newborn that the newborn is able to absorb absolutely everything in the milk, and the only waste is liquid :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is that the newborn is urinating frequently, and has many wet diapers every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, newborns that poop seldom may be uneasy up to a few days before pooping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, if the newborn is fed formula milk, there should be a diaper with stool every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sundhed.dk/borger/sygdomme-a-aa/boern/om-boern/det-nyfoedte-barn/nyfoedt-barn-tjekliste/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Danish health authorities information on newborns&lt;/a&gt; (In Danish)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2909" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T09:31:24.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8975" CreationDate="2014-11-27T13:43:40.317" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nephew does that sometimes (his dad is gone, so I'm the closest thing left). We turn it into a joke, sometimes with physical comedy by picking him up in the air, or repeating what he says back, but wrong as if it was misheard (&quot;Do you have the football?&quot; -&gt; &quot;I have a phone call?&quot;) etc, and nearly always this playful antagonism makes him crack up and move on to something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be annoying, especially if its time to sleep or whatever, but &lt;em&gt;usually&lt;/em&gt; handling it by striking back in a funny way breaks up the cycle. The bad times are when its nap time in the day, and a kid is clearly tired, but keeps stimulating themselves mentally by jabbering on their pillow. Then I do the same thing, get them to laugh about something, and then give them a chore to do with me so they can't sleep. They make it an early night (usually they crash right after dinner). It takes some flexibility with the evening schedule for this to work out, but &lt;em&gt;generally&lt;/em&gt; this has been a workable approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the comedy almost always has to be about what they are saying and physically disruptive. Otherwise you're going to be hearing the same thing for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11435" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T13:43:40.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-27T13:47:52.293" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Letting children play with dolls when they want to is not limiting their creativity, it allows them yet another dimension. My dolls were pirates and divers and firemen and spacemen... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing no-one here mentioned; since we had no cash for doll-accessories, my sister and I made stuff for our dolls - vehicles, tools, furniture, and later on clothes - out of whatever was lying around, bits of wood, boxes, bottle tops. We both became engineers, this may be relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T13:47:52.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16737" CreationDate="2014-11-27T13:53:47.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As he continues to read letters and numbers, he will (barring certain learning disabilities) eventually learn to recognize them as well, which is needed for reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried practicing pronouncing them with him? I.e. you hold up a card with the word &quot;dog&quot;, and have him say it? By pronouncing each letter separately, he might learn to recognize them by assigning sounds to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Another option would be to try and have him practice copying text. That way, he'll have to copy individual letters. If, as you say, he can write them, he will be doing so, but &quot;on command&quot; so to speak, as he is reading them first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11660" LastEditorUserId="11660" LastEditDate="2014-11-28T06:36:14.127" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T06:36:14.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-27T17:16:16.633" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to offer an alternative viewpoint on this question, which is that perhaps it simply doesn't have an answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you were to ask what number will a die throw produce, and someone answered 5 and someone answered 3 and someone else answered 1 and then you chose the &quot;5&quot; answer, would that make any sense? Or would you just be choosing your favorite answer ignoring the fact that the real answer is &quot;any outcome is equally likely&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am suggesting that your question is similar. I don't see how it's possible to determine whether buying her a doll or not will in the long run be beneficial or detrimental to any of aspect of your daughter's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is beneficial on the other hand is having a open-minded worldview and exposing your child to as many different stimuli as possible, in a natural, relaxed way, without trying to predict which one will be good for her and which won't. So I suggest you get her a doll if you think she'd enjoy it - and that's all there is to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11663" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T17:16:16.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3628" CreationDate="2014-11-27T19:18:19.723" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You and the mother of your kid are a team.&#xA;If you were not, you could just split apart, isnt it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are a manager of a department and you want to build your own team, you have basically two philosophies:&#xA;-You can focus on peoples weakness and force people to improve in every aspect they are bad, never recognizing their strenghts&#xA;-Or you focus on what people can do well, and assign the tasks to them so that everybody is using their strenghts, and sometime or the other you also give people the chance to improve their weakness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mother of my kid (we are separeted) wants him to do everything by brute force (thats my interpretation). If he is playing with a DVD, she will have a very agressive body language (in my opinion) and tell him:&#xA;-GIVE ME THE DVD.&#xA;You can clearly see that he gets intimidated, it causes embarassment to both of them, and this takes some minutes until its solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just got near and proposed a trade: I showed him another object which was much more interesting than the DVD, and he was quite happy to make the &quot;trade&quot;, or to take the most interesting object. In this case, I see it as a win-win situation: The kid got something even better that they wanted, and you too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the only problem is if you dont define it as &quot;proposing a trade&quot;, or &quot;giving an alternative&quot;, but start to see it as a bribery. The problem is than not the action, but the mindset behind it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never liked the style of the mother of my kid for parenting, but once I was trying to put the kid to sleep by myself for ours, and it didnt work. I asked for her advice, and she told me I should put him on the room and, if he was unquiet to sleep, that I should leave the room and tell him that I was coming back as soon as he would be quiet. He didnt like it, and I felt horrible, but after 5 minutes he was sleeping!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On my method, it was taking two hours and stressing everybody, but using the method of the mother (which I usually see as harsh), it worked pretty well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think the queston is not to decide if &quot;proposing a trade&quot; is ALWAYS bad or not, its just a question of feeling in  which situation the &quot;trade system&quot; is better, and in which the &quot;do because I know its good for you&quot; is better!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, I hope I helped :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastActivityDate="2014-11-27T19:18:19.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16737" CreationDate="2014-11-28T01:24:20.947" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a child can do at this age varies &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt;. If you read forums, you'll see mothers telling of their 4 yr. olds who can read. &lt;em&gt;That's not the norm&lt;/em&gt;. Does his preschool teacher think he's behind the other kids, or is he average? At 4, he should be able to: recite the alphabet, count, enjoy listening to you read, understand that print carries a message, be able to identify familiar signs (e.g. a store or restaurant logo he sees often) and labels (cereal box, etc.). So you see, he’s probably where he should be. I'll address letters, but the same goes for numbers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I don’t know exactly what age your son is, &lt;em&gt;I wouldn't worry too much about it.&lt;/em&gt; I would work on it at home, because it will help him if he can read by the middle of first grade. (I didn't even &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; to teach my kids to read until kindergarten. I did use a phonics and phonemes program. They're all avid readers now.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the US Department of Education, most kindergartners are able to: ‘pretend’ to read, retell simple stories, recognize letters and letter-sound matches, show familiarity with rhyming and beginning sounds, understand that print is read left-to-right and top-to-bottom, begin to match spoken words with written ones, begin to write letters of the alphabet and some words they use and hear often, and begin to write stories with some readable parts. So aim for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most helpful ways to teach your child to read is through phonics and the identification of &lt;em&gt;phonemes&lt;/em&gt; - simple letter blends like &lt;em&gt;go&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;at&lt;/em&gt;. But to do this, you need to know about phonemic awareness. You can do this when you read, but also as you are talk to your child. (“I like these socks. Sssssocksss. The ’s’ makes a ’ssss’ sound.” When you read, do it for some words, concentrating on only a few letters at a time, showing him the letters.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try this for six months and see if he starts picking it up. If he does, great! He’s on his way. If he shows no response, talk with a speech and language therapist. For children with any kind of disability or learning problem, the sooner they can get the special help they need, the easier it will be for them to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below are some resources, some are guidelines, some are things you can do, some are heavier reading. These are for children in the US. If you live elsewhere, your country will have similar sites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully you'll get answers from other parents with other tips and insights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www2.ed.gov/parents/academic/help/reader/part9.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Typical Language Accomplishments for Children, Birth to Age 6 -- Helping Your Child Become a Reader&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/all_reading/milestones.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Reading Milestones&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.readingrockets.org/reading-topics/phonemic-awareness&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Phonemic Awareness&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.readingrockets.org/article/tips-teaching-your-child-about-phonemes&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tips for Teaching Your Child About Phonemes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/nrp/Pages/findings.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Report of the National Reading Panel&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/127/3/e818.full#ref-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Learning Disabilities, Dyslexia, and Vision&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-11-28T08:34:15.760" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T08:34:15.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16737" CreationDate="2014-11-28T01:54:49.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Four years old is still early.   Kids have to hit a certain developmental milestone in order to perceive oblique lines on letters like 'K'.  They can be &lt;em&gt;trained&lt;/em&gt; to perform things like writing without really understanding it completely.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.anthromed.org/Article.aspx?artpk=856&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; explains a little about the difference between learning and training in this situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, it's perfectly normal and you wouldn't even notice if you weren't rushing it a little.  Just relax and wait for him to be ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T01:54:49.137" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16667" CreationDate="2014-11-28T09:39:24.510" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;All my children around that age had a certain time that was just right. Put them to bed early and they would be too excited to sleep until way after their bedtime. Put them to bed too late and they would stay up late, too. What time this was depended a lot on the children, age, and time of year. (In winter, when it's dark early, they are tired, and sleep earlier, too.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have said, routine helps a lot, too, as does not exciting children before bedtime (play hide and seek), but relaxing them (read a story). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all else fails, read &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/13925/7982&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T09:39:24.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-28T09:58:17.937" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you thought of making her a doll? Or helping her make her own? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do wonders with a wooden spoon; paint a face on it, add a handkerchief and a rubber band and you've got a doll. Craft shops have wooden heads and eyes and feet and stuff if you want to get serious, and there are plenty of how-to books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T09:58:17.937" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14782" CreationDate="2014-11-28T15:22:10.217" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not married but my daughter is almost 2 and I am in a similar situation.  My ex is moving out this weekend in fact.  It's taken us over a year to come to the decision that it's for the best as we are both unhappy in the current situation and as much as we try not to, we still argue a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though I am not my ex's biggest fan (but by no means do I hate him) I am still absolutely adamant that my daughter continues to have a good relationship with him and sees him regularly.  We have come to the decision that he will stay with me and my daughter 2 nights a week so he can put her to bed etc and he will have her 2 full days per week (this works for us because he works different days to me).  I felt that this would be the least disruptive to her current situation as she won't be staying anywhere different etc. The arrangements depend largely on logistics and practicalities.  We've said for now that this arrangement will stay in place as long as it's practical etc. and when my daughter is old enough to voice her own opinions we will listen and re-arrange accordingly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just wanted to share my situation as it may give you some ideas for your own situation.  It really depends on what has happened between you and your wife and if you can make any amicable arrangements.  In my personal opinion I think it's more important for parents to be happy and co-operative with each other than to live in the same house miserable and gathering increasing resentment.  If you do decide that separating is the way to go, there is some good advice in this booklet that I found:-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parenting-plan.aspx&quot;&gt;https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parenting-plan.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helped me to think about what is most important for my daughter and to try and compromise and make things fair so that everyone involved (especially my daughter) is satisfied with the outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T15:22:10.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16726" CreationDate="2014-11-28T17:12:13.563" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about stifling her imagination, you could get her something other than a realistic human doll. There are plenty of anthropomorphic stuffed animals (such as teddy bears) that would love to be invited to tea parties! As a bonus, they tend to be viewed as more gender-neutral toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2014-11-28T17:12:13.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16765" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16770" CreationDate="2014-11-29T08:12:35.747" Score="2" ViewCount="1718" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's currently 16.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She won't listen to a word my parents have to say. When they ask for the phone, since she's glued to it 24/7 and her grades have plummeted, she won't listen.  She knows how to get on their nerves and knows how to make them angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently she's become even worse, despicable I might say. She's been blackmailing my parents.  Every single time my parents ask her to do a chore, she won't listen.  When they finally reach the point of frustration and start to get angry, she threatens them by saying &quot;if you don't stop trying to make me do that chore, then I'm going to call the police&quot;. She has gotten away with it so far since my parents have had no criminal record and don't want to call the police for something that seems so trivial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But my sister has been getting more and more aggresive, now using this to her advantage to get money for movies, tickets, and outings with her boyfriends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, she won't do anything they ask her to do.  When they get to a point where they become so frustrated that she won't do anything, she'll hang the threat of &quot;calling 911&quot; over their heads as an excuse to get away with whatever she wants.  Since I'm the eldest of the 3, I really have no idea what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11539" LastEditorUserId="11539" LastEditDate="2014-11-29T08:18:27.910" LastActivityDate="2014-11-30T10:00:08.930" Title="Younger sister blackmailing parents" Tags="|behavior|parents|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16765" CreationDate="2014-11-29T09:51:43.737" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I take it you have a cell-phone with recording capabilities? Maybe your parents do as well? Start using them. When you have caught enough of her threats on film, let her go ahead and call the police. They will tell her if she doesn't stop calling for such nonsense, they will write out a ticket or might even haul her in to show her what calling the police for nothing ends up getting her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I would consider, as her parent, getting children and youth involved. Your sister is abusing your parents emotionally. Maybe a couple of weeks in foster care would make her see the light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, venting done. This is obviously a bad dynamic, and if your parents have no clue how to handle it, they should be availing themselves of whatever counseling opportunities exist for them. Also, if she is doing &lt;em&gt;nothing&lt;/em&gt; to contribute at home, &lt;em&gt;who is paying for her phone plan&lt;/em&gt;, and why? How does she get money for movies, clothes, or anything else? At her age, she should be helping considerably around the house for discretionary income, and since her grades stink anyway, maybe even a part-time job after school. There is no law that parents must give their child all the luxuries her friends enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actions have consequences. If she gets the car without paying for gas with her own money from chores, she shouldn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not hopeful for a miraculous meeting of minds here. I think meetings with the school counselor and principal/teachers should be undertaken, and your parents should be looking for a good adolescent and family therapist. Also consequences. Are your parents really afraid of the police? On whose behalf? If they're worried about what the neighbors think, they shouldn't be. Actions have consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's not going to be able to treat her boss or her husband like this (for long). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-11-29T09:51:43.737" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="388" CreationDate="2014-11-29T11:56:25.827" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm on my second child.  Both times I got to the point were my appetite went crazy and I would eat just cause for a few weeks then back to normal.  The sleep part is the craziest.  My wife sleeps normally for the most part while pregnant but my sleep pattern can never get on track.  I can fall asleep within seconds to minutes just being around her for less than an hour.  If she stays around me I will continue to sleep extra long hours even though I just woke up not to long ago from a previous nights rest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her being pregnant and sick in the mornings doesn't bother me at all since I know it's a sign that the baby is healthy.  The couvade syndrome men have is out the door for me.  I feel it's more of something that her body produces to make me go into these states.  It's like a natural chemistry a father gets from it.  I can tell when a woman I'm with is pregnant before she does on based on how I feel.  I red somewhere that a doctor is studying this but it's hard since a lot of men don't come forward and report these type of things.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really for me it's just another sign that you will be closer to both the baby and mother when she gives birth. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11685" LastActivityDate="2014-11-29T11:56:25.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16765" CreationDate="2014-11-30T09:34:29.623" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When they finally reach the point of frustration and start to get&#xA;  angry, she threatens them by saying &quot;if you don't stop trying to make&#xA;  me do that chore, then I'm going to call the police&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's what kids do. They will pick the most embarrassing time to throw a tantrum whether it's in a restaurant, in a store, or in a crowded public place. This is just a variation on the same tactic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes, they'll even call 911 to complain about their parents, or their siblings. I saw a show on stupid 911 calls, and there were a couple of examples of kids calling in for stupid reasons.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She has gotten away with it so far since my parents have had no&#xA;  criminal record and don't want to call the police for something that&#xA;  seems so trivial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your parents really do need to grow a backbone. There is really no other way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like Rancur3p1c suggested, they should even call the police themselves, the non-emergency line, and get someone to come over to give her a talk. But that's okay if they don't do that, if the girl really wants to call the police, let her do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she really wants to live with foster parents, she should realize that those foster parents are never going to allow her to have a cell phone in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, your parents should consider getting her a &lt;a href=&quot;http://thewaltdisneycompany.com/disney-news/press-releases/2006/06/disney-mobile-%E2%84%A2-available-now&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Disney&lt;/a&gt; phone, or a phone with some &lt;a href=&quot;http://internet-safety.yoursphere.com/2011/09/mobile-parental-controls-att-verizon-sprint-t-mobile/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;parental controls&lt;/a&gt;, or consider just taking her phone away entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if she really gets out of control, note that there are special boarding schools and special mental health facilities that can deal with such a teenager, and any police officer that gets called will be able to provide your parents with their contact information. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9092" LastEditorUserId="9092" LastEditDate="2014-11-30T10:00:08.930" LastActivityDate="2014-11-30T10:00:08.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16722" CreationDate="2014-11-30T16:33:23.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what the school system is like where you are, but I suggest talking to the school and finding out if there are ways he can be taught different approaches to math - whether that means a different teacher who has a different approach, or some outside help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Math is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; hard to learn if you're not taught in a way that makes sense to you, and unfortunately there are several different fundamental ways to learn math, often only one of which is taught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often what is necessary is to see what a child's learning style is, and then adapt (either by adapting the lesson to include that, or by having some extra outside learning sessions with a tutor or mom/dad).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, students learn multiplication effectively several different ways.  For example - not an exhaustive list at all:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some learn by pure memorization.  This can give good results on tests, but sometimes can lead to difficulties later on - for example, you can memorize that '4x7=28' and '7x4=28', without making the connection that they are the same thing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some learn by adapting their understanding of addition.  &quot;4 times 7&quot; means &quot;Add 4 seven times&quot;. This is largely how I learned initially (at 6).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some learn by 'Counting by 5s' or similar.  5,10,15,20.  I transitioned from addition to this method, and this is very helpful in later things - particularly for understanding other bases (base 2, base 16, etc.).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, learning styles can have different underlying elements to them.&#xA;* Some learn very visually.  Strings of beads, legos, or other tools can be used to visually show multiplication (a lego that is 2x4 has 8 studs, for example; or use several legos to fill in a square that is 4x7 and then count the studs).&#xA;* Some learn primarily by repetition.  Do a thousand multiplication problems and you learn it.  Visual learners often won't be able to do this - they might memorize the answers eventually, but they'll not be able to do &quot;new&quot; multiplication without the understanding from the visual method.&#xA;* Some learn by understanding the underlying fundamentals.  This is largely how I learn: I have to know &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; multiplication works.  Visual methods can help this, but I still always wanted to know the reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also have the potential problem that he may be missing some fundamental underlying piece that is important to understanding multiplication (for example); he may not have understood something about the number system, for example, but memorized the details sufficiently to pass tests and homework.  This can be devastating: if you don't understand the commutative property of multiplication, for example, algebra becomes extremely difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your school system is a good one, they should understand this, and be able and willing to work with your student to figure out how he learns best.  If not, then I suggest finding an outside resource; in the US for example there are companies that specialize in customizing learning to your student's needs, and often can make substantial progress in a fairly short time simply by explaining some major missing piece that your student didn't understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-11-30T16:33:23.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16722" CreationDate="2014-11-30T19:43:27.543" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's tough not to speak the language of your child's school instruction. But there is a very helpful tool out there! Dutch speaking kids have the possibility to use &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rekentuin.nl/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;rekentuin&lt;/a&gt;, or 'calculating garden' for learning basic mathematical operations. It's made like a game, you have four flowers (one for each operation) and as you answer questions, the flowers grow. Kids get points for playing long and prizes for playing well. The game assesses their skill level using their response times and whether the answer is correct or not. It adapts the questions to each child's level of ability as the game unfolds. This game has been adopted into many schools in The Netherlands, as a standard part of the curriculum. It was made by a team of developmental psychologists at Amsterdam University.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several advantages to this game. First, it's very carefully made to be fun, and not too frustratingly hard. This aids both learning and confidence. Second, as feedback is automated, it allows the child to do much more than in a school setting, and will a smaller time delay between performance and feedback. Third, the program follows the response patterns of the child, and can point out (to the teacher, or parent) the typical mistakes a child makes. I highly recommend it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to make an account for him, so someone should help you with the first login, but otherwise it should be pretty straightforward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, math is much more than basic arithmetic, but getting this down well is an important start. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-11-30T19:43:27.543" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16776" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-11-30T23:23:57.853" Score="9" ViewCount="6912" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a one year-old son who we can't keep out of the kitchen. When someone is in the kitchen, he likes to come and stand next to them, grab onto their legs and try to reach things on the counter. Obviously this is not safe as there are knives, hot liquids, etc. that could easily injure him in an accident. We try to move him out of the kitchen as quickly as possible while saying &quot;no&quot;, but he usually just comes crawling right back. This can make it almost impossible to work in the kitchen when only one person is at home and sometimes we have to let him stay under-foot just to get things done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, we live in a small studio so there is no natural separation between the living/dining room and the kitchen and it is not possible to install a baby-gate or any kind of barrier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for how to approach this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4977" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-12-01T09:33:49.460" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T16:59:32.103" Title="Keeping one year-old out of the kitchen" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16667" CreationDate="2014-12-01T00:44:35.917" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our foster kids are 7 and 8 and we're still figuring things out but here's what I've found that make a difference:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Absolutely no chocolate after 4 PM. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They need a lot of exercise during the day to be physically tired.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Soft music. We actually have this goofy iPad app called Jazz Radio set to Smooth Jazz.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fiddle with the lights. Sometimes they need the nightlights on, sometimes they need it off because it is too bright.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a nightlight that is just bright enough to read by and let her read. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Backrub&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reading to them until they fall asleep. We've been working on the same volume of Harry Potter since August. I don't think they have any idea what is happening in the story, they just want to hear our voices. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11692" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T00:44:35.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16722" CreationDate="2014-12-01T02:48:36.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he needs drills, and if he thinks he's bad at it the drills need to be fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have some tablet math drill games that our kids (7 &amp;amp; 8) really like. Ours are Lakeshore Learning, but you can check out TuxMath and GCompris (for Linux) or ask the teacher for suggestions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids are not way behind but they need some more support. We have settled on a rule: to watch TV on the tablet (YouTube), they need to play three levels of Bubble Pop. We started them at the easiest level and let them work their way up. It is fun even when it is easy because you have to find the right bubble and pop it. They tend to get engrossed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their teacher sends them home with a lot of drill worksheets that do a nice job of illustrating patterns like things that add up to 10. There are probably some great drills for multiplication. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Puzzles are great, too. Check out Mathdoku -- our kids are not ready for that, but he ought to be able to do 4x4 puzzles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not going to try to make an exhaustive list of possible math games, but start asking around. You want things that are easy for him so he can build up to the harder stuff and gain confidence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11692" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T02:48:36.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8197" CreationDate="2014-12-01T02:51:37.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a foster parent, our kids are in foster care for good reasons, and yet ... they're torn and very loyal to their parents. They do a lot of lashing out at us. It takes comic forms including:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You're not pretty like our mom, you don't wear enough makeup. (&quot;Yes, your mom is very pretty.&quot; &lt;em&gt;and she does wear rather a lot of makeup...&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have to use cookbooks because you don't know how to cook. Our mom already knows how to cook. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can't cook good food like our mom and dad. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You are fat/your feet are too big/your boobs are too big. Our mom is skinny. (&quot;Every body is different.&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It happens that I've been digging into cookbooks in an effort to find something they'll actually enjoy. I happen to genuinely believe that I look good. So it happens to be easy to let this all slide off. It all adds up to &quot;my dad is taller than you,&quot; more or less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My armchair psychoanalysis take on all of this is that they worry that they're being disloyal to their mom. They feel a deep, deep loyalty to her and they need us to know that we're not better than their parents. My self-serving addendum to that is &lt;em&gt;because we are better&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just keep in mind that he's in a really tough spot. He loves his dad, and knows he's supposed to be loyal to his dad. Liking you is disloyal to his dad so he has to lash out and make sure you know his dad is taller than you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11692" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T02:51:37.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2014-12-01T03:38:03.653" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;How you should handle comments like this will depend on the situation, and what language is used around it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a difference between:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;&quot;You're not my father! I hate you!&quot;&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;&quot;You can't tell me what to do, you're not my father!&quot;&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also a difference between a flippant remark, meant just to irritate/hurt you, and an outburst used as a final argument when logic and reasoning have been overcome by irrationality and emotions. It's not necessarily an &quot;ultimate&quot; response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is in a state of emotion that takes them beyond the point of reasoning with them, then the best response would be to ignore the comment itself, despite its sting, and instead hear it as a cue that the situation has escalated too far. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's a matter of them saying &quot;I hate you!&quot; along with it, then their statement is pretty much the equivalent of a child saying &quot;I hate you!&quot; to biological parents: That is, it's the most hurtful comment they can think to say at the time. Comments like this likely indicate that the child &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; beyond reasoning with, because they're overwhelmed with their feelings, lack of control, hurt, or whatever it may be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child isn't beyond reasoning with, then you could try and respond with calmly with a rebuttal that acknowledges, defeats, and moves past the comment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;&quot;Whether or not you think of me as a father makes no difference here...&quot;&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; apply to instances where they add the &quot;You can't tell me what to do...&quot; type of comments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As @Lennart says, don't be hurt by his words. Initially, you'll likely be hurt regardless, but being cognizant of &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he used those words can help move you from an emotional state to a calm, assertive state. As I mentioned, used these words as an indicator. Either the situation has become too hot to touch, or your child is feeling a mix of emotions that's causing him to lash out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In most cases of conflict, &lt;strong&gt;it's best not to focus on the hurtful words themselves&lt;/strong&gt;, but the emotions and intent behind those words. Your child may curse at you, call you names, say you're not his father, or any number of things to rile you up. It won't help the situation in the present or the future to bring up that, &quot;You said such and such.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the situation is too emotional for any party involved (which is likely going to be the case), then I'd &lt;strong&gt;step back and not address the comments later&lt;/strong&gt;. When you're able to have a calm moment with your child, you could start a discussion about how you're not his biological father, but you're his parent/have his best interest in mind/are concerned for him/love him. This may seem as if it conflicts with my last paragraph, but the difference is that you're not holding his words against him and are addressing the intent of the words, not the words themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever this discussion happens, &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask/demand the child to apologize for saying it. It's counterproductive and puts them back on the defensive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Focus on the fact that it hurt your feelings. Your goal isn't to make them feel guilty about that comment. Also, this lets them know that using such comments will be effective in the future.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something else you should do is keep in mind that &lt;strong&gt;you're not alone&lt;/strong&gt;. Non-biological guardians are increasingly common. Unions where at least one person already had a child, same-sex marriages with adoption, children living with relatives, and adoptions are all examples of families with parents who may have heard &quot;You're not my real parent!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T03:38:03.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16782" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-01T06:25:57.377" Score="-3" ViewCount="962" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently I had very serious conversation with my married friend regarding parenting of kids in which way need to deal with them love or Strict rules and descipline. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am in side of love and affection, I belive in Love when you love at something no one needs to push you to acheive what you want in tuough way .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He dont agree with my argument, he says love will not work always, frightening and threating the kids with punishments will work all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I rose up in an environment where I have threatned with punishements to play some sports, to achieve grades in my school subjects and I have lost friendly rapport with my father and some of my school teachers beacause I always afraid of then, istead of being in love, and I have lost intrest in my favourite subjects beacuase I am afraid of pinshments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What my question is here from my 25 years of my age I have seen 99 percent people who agrees with my friends argument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I have also seen case where Love only worked in a perfect way with out spoiling rapport between relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please describe or explain am I corrrect or am I wron ..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it possible to raise a kid by threatning of punishments and stricat unnecessary rules to the greatest level (being a scientist,sportsman,doctor..etc) ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would like to know the experts onpinons with better examples ..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11693" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-11T13:10:01.110" LastActivityDate="2019-03-11T13:10:01.110" Title="Which way is correct to keep your kids on the right path: love or strict discipline?" Tags="|discipline|parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2014-12-01T13:03:41.317" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16776" CreationDate="2014-12-01T09:42:20.750" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you can't separate the area there's little you can do. Toddlers do follow parents whenever they can, for us it happens even if one parent is engaged in play with the child and the other does something - our LO will &quot;switch&quot; and go from one parent to another with no apparent reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try to &lt;strong&gt;ignore the child disturbing your work in kitchen&lt;/strong&gt; whenever it's safe. Never pick him up, never entertain him in any way. In time, he may learn that kitchen is not a place to &quot;play&quot; with parents. He'll still do it, but the interruptions may become less interrupting:) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A playpen is always an option&lt;/strong&gt;, possibly a tourist-portable one. You can't separate the kitchen from the rest of the apartment, but you can separate the baby from it. Your son will most likely not like it, but you'll get something done in the kitchen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T09:42:20.750" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16782" CreationDate="2014-12-01T10:49:41.657" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let's start with the basic misassumption that plagues this kind of argument. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;There is NO conflict between love and strict discipline&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Parents who impose strict rules love their children and want them to do well. They just want different things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you approach Parenting is based on what you want for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your child to be obedient and behave respectfully, then you'll prioritise that. This means stricter rules, tighter discipline, and more serious punishment. The good points of this are that your child will understand what is and isn't acceptable, and may be better able to cope with strict, failure-intolerant, societies. However, they'll obviously also be less able to adapt to change, and will always be looking for the &quot;acceptable&quot; answer, and unwilling to take the initiative in case they get things wrong. In many modern businesses like scientist and engineer, you might as well stamp &quot;disposable peon&quot; on their head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your child to be more creative and to work on their own initiative then you'll prioritise that. You'll encourage them to explore boundaries and teach them to assess the &lt;em&gt;value&lt;/em&gt; that underpins any rule, so they can judge whether it's worth breaking in a particular case. At the same time, you make sure they understand their limits, and what's acceptable and not acceptable, in a .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, the one thing that's repeatedly been found to make children feel insecure, behave poorly, and do worse, is inconsistency and lack of &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; structure. While it may seem like allowing them to do whatever they like encourages creativity, the message you're actually sending is &quot;I don't &lt;em&gt;care&lt;/em&gt; what you do&quot;. When a child knows they've been &quot;bad&quot; and their parent doesn't react, it creates a feedback loop of worse and worse behaviour to find the limits. Alternatively, when they move from this ruleless environment into a world that's &lt;em&gt;full&lt;/em&gt; of rules, they often can't cope, and act out in response. And then when&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, every child and parent is different, so there are no hard and fast &quot;betters&quot; but there are some rules that you can &lt;em&gt;generally&lt;/em&gt; rely on, regardless of the parenting style.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consistency is Key&lt;/strong&gt;. No matter what parenting style you adopt, if you start switching how you behave erratically, then your child won't know what to think. Don't yell at them for spilling the soup one day and cuddle them for smashing a window the next.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't trap yourself&lt;/strong&gt;. If you give your child a whipping for spilling their soup, what is your plan when they beat another child up, or steal a car? Because you've left yourself nowhere to go that you won't end up in jail for. Make the punishment appropriate to the crime. Obviously, this also applies in reverse; if you don't get angry about them deliberately breaking things, what &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; you stop them doing?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Explain yourself&lt;/strong&gt;. You don't have to justify every decision, but if you are angry with them, they need to know &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;, or they're obviously going to do them again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Judge your own temper&lt;/strong&gt;. Kids are exhausting, life is exhausting, and you are human. At some point you're going to lose your temper. This is what timeouts are for. When you feel you're about to lose it, your child gets a timeout. When they're tantruming, they get a timeout. Timeout continues till you're calm. This is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;NOT&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; a punishment. This is you breaking up the situation and giving you both time to calm down. The key thing here is to spot when you're about to lose it and timeout before you do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T10:49:41.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16584" CreationDate="2014-12-01T12:43:12.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Note that the pressure to open gifts, as evidenced by the other comments, may be outside the realm of the gift givers or receivers. (That is, it's up to the parents. The kids will go along with whatever.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the gifts might be used as part of the social gathering, -- Hey, let's play with the new toys! -- then it might be okay to open at the party, especially if it's a multi-player game. Whatever happens, don't forget to send thank-you cards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11648" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T12:43:12.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16776" CreationDate="2014-12-01T13:46:04.100" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kitchen also has an &quot;open&quot; plan, so a baby gate wasn't an option. If a playpen or other enclosure isn't possible, or if your son is too distraught at being &quot;abandoned,&quot; consider putting him on your back. A back-carrying position keeps a toddler satisfied at being attended to, but away from any dangerous kitchen activities. This can be achieved with a backpack (which can a bit on the expensive side) or a cloth wrap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/otr0a.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;picture of baby riding on parent&amp;#39;s back&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;picture from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wrapyourbaby.com/babyonback.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;WrapYourBaby.com&lt;/a&gt;, which also includes instructions and video&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally found back-carrying to be the simplest solution when I needed to putter around the kitchen &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; a baby. I avoided things like frying (risk of grease splatter), but I found most typical kitchen tasks could be easily accomplished with little to no worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T13:46:04.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16776" CreationDate="2014-12-01T15:43:32.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't need a door to the kitchen in order to divide it off - you can get little baby-fences that are kind of like baby-gates but wider. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/WNeee.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;BabyDan Configure Gate&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's a 'BabyDan Configure Gate' but there's a bunch of different brands. With most of them you can buy extra modules to go on each end, to make it as long as you like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you can make the gap narrower first with some judicious placement of cupboards / booksheves / etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Erica's suggestion of a sling is good as well, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T15:43:32.217" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16776" CreationDate="2014-12-01T16:59:32.103" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest a Mother's Helper (also called a Kitchen Helper).  This allows your toddler to hang out in the kitchen with you - and even help out with simple tasks, which in my opinion is a great start to being a helper with kitchen tasks like doing the dishes or cooking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/9xPBS.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Kitchen Helper&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toddler stands inside of it, and is able to reach the counter (put it where that is a safe thing of course!).  It's much smaller than a playpen, so good for conserving space, and lets the toddler feel like he/she is helping mommy/daddy.  You can give him/her a spoon and a bowl with something to stir, for example, or even just some of his/her normal toys that won't get too involved if the current cooking project isn't something that small hands can &quot;help&quot; with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Picture from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000SQNAQC&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Amazon.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-01T16:59:32.103" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3086" CreationDate="2014-12-02T15:23:57.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you changed perfumes/soaps/other scented personal products?  Soap leaves a residue.  My wife accidentally washed her breasts with soap and our son had a similar reaction.  She washed with water a few more times and it seemed to resolve the problem.  We found that this la leche league book helped immensely in diagnosing those sorts of problems: &quot;The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding&quot;&#xA;ISBN-10: 0345518446&#xA;ISBN-13: 978-0345518446&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11699" LastActivityDate="2014-12-02T15:23:57.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16791" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-02T15:55:48.603" Score="17" ViewCount="16218" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2.5-year-old daughter used to love baths, playing in the pool and just playing with water. Now, she is terrified to bathe. It is a battle to even get her in the tub, let alone to try and clean her or wash her hair. She screams and cries with tears when I try; I try to explain that she needs to be cleaned, but she just freaks out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have 2 other children and never had a problem like this with them. They may not like water over their face, but they love bath time and have gotten used to water sometimes going over their faces. I don't know what to do. She has become very emotional in general. Nothing I have tried is working. Please I would love to hear some new things to try!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11700" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-04T12:26:20.463" LastActivityDate="2021-01-29T22:23:06.757" Title="How can I address toddler's fear of water over her face?" Tags="|toddler|fears|bathing|water|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16791" CreationDate="2014-12-02T16:38:23.387" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I have found most effective is to teach them a coping mechanism, something active to do so they don't feel helpless, and give them plenty of time to employ it.  For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Okay, some water is coming.  Close your eyes and mouth tightly so it won't get in!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids often cry because they're scared of water getting in their mouth, which sort of creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Other things that have helped my kids at one time or another:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting a bath chair to help them feel more secure.  Or let them stand up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use tearless shampoo.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let them choose their own temperature.  One of my daughters likes the water &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; cooler than I'm accustomed to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give them more control.  Let them do their own washing and rinsing as much as practical.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep calm myself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, sometimes there's not much you can do other than getting it over with as soon as possible.  That stage will pass like any other, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-02T16:38:23.387" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16791" CreationDate="2014-12-02T18:59:01.970" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This worked for my son: I let him wear a swim mask, and put his hand over his mouth when I washed his hair.  Then, I let him hold the washcloth while I washed his face.  Knowing he could pull the cloth away at any time helped him deal with having his face washed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastActivityDate="2014-12-02T18:59:01.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12079" CreationDate="2014-12-02T19:34:12.750" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disrespect is not acheived in a day.  Neither is respect.  By the time a child reaches the teen years, corporal punishment is no longer an option. The only thing you have as leverage at this point is the respect your child has for you.  The history of caring, concerned, loving discipline that you have shown both to the child and other children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not know your history with this child, so I cannot comment on the quality of your care.  Some of the words you have used in your question, though, make me suspect you have been trying to dictate their behavior.  This works in the short term with small children, and SHOULD be used, especially with new situations, but only when you also train the child to know the proper behavior themselves. Have you done this? You might have.  It's what we did with our daughters&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, all teens go through a phase when they think they know everything.  I was reduced at one point to saying to my oldest: &quot;you don't like it, then move out and live your own way.&quot; I then helped her pack, saw her to the door, and watched her drive away with a friend. Of course, the friend's parents were not about to take in another child, which left my 'know-it-all' with a dilemma.  She asked her mother if she could come home.  The answer was &quot;of course, but the rules are still the rules.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, my daughter realized the security and safety of home, along with no bills, was worth the price of submitting to the rules.  Once she made the choice herself, it was not such a rock relationship. Prior to that, though it was really rough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second oldest decided to push my buttons once, by pointing out that I really couldn't take anything away from her, since aside from some of her clothes, she bought everything herself with her part-time job. She was taking a high-school Consumer Law course at the time. I agreed with her.  Then I asked if the fact that someone bought a particular commodity gave then the authority to decide how it got used.  She smugly said &quot;yes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I left the dinner table, went to the basement, then came back.  When she asked what I was doing, I told her &quot;I simply tripped the breaker feeding electricity to your room. Since my job pays for the electricity in this house, I've decided to opt out of supplying it to your room.  You DO still get lights, so you can stare at your electric guitar, TV, stereo, and Wii this evening. Or, you can agree to not get snarky with your father, and I go re-flip the breaker.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point with these stories is that head-to-head with a teenager rarely ends well.  They are smart, they see how their friends live and interact with their parents.  If your daughter is resentful, take stock of what her life is like, ask other parents you respect about what they do, find out if maybe, just maybe, you are one of &lt;em&gt;those&lt;/em&gt; parents every kid is thankful they &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; have.  I've done it, my friends have done it.  Once, I had to admit to myself that I was, indeed, doing it badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is that respect can be rebuilt.  Don't make the mistake of thinking that admitting you made a mistake will somehow lessen your authority. Did you ever deal with a teacher who never admitted their mistakes? How about one who affably laughed off getting caught in a mistake in front of the class and thanked the student for pointing it out?  I had both, guess which one I still respect?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The start of your solution is going to have to be genuine communication.  You are going to have to let your daughter tell you everything she resents about you as a parent, and you are going to have to silently take it.  Keep a poker face, if you can't keep a compassionate one.  But just being willing to listen to her side of things will get the ball of mutual respect rolling.  Then, when she is done, do not make the mistake of telling her why she is totally wrong about you.  In fact, if you spend the entire time &quot;listening&quot; by lining up your rock-solid rebuttals, you've completely missed the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Listen, then spend 1 or 2 days really, really looking at your behavior.  Bring your daughter's concerns to a friend you really trust to tell you the straight, unvarnished truth.  Then, if anything needs to change, bring your daughter alongside you, and give her permission to help hold you accountable to anything you might need to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps.  This process has helped get me through 2 teen daughters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastEditorUserId="4749" LastEditDate="2016-08-26T11:44:13.517" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T11:44:13.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16791" CreationDate="2014-12-02T21:16:06.123" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my oldest son, the problem was primarily the shampoo in the eyes (or the unsalinated water, but more often the shampoo specifically).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do is keep his towel at hand, and as soon as we've poured water over his hair, he takes the towel and dries his eyes.  This gives him some sense of control (similar to Thorin's mask idea).  We also use a flexible silicon vessel for pouring water (specifically sold for this purpose, but anything flexible will do) that will somewhat conform to his brow and thus reduce the spillage down the face.  He learned around 3 to look straight up when I was pouring water, also, which helps reduce it further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This of course is for a child that doesn't otherwise mind water in his eyes - in the pool for example he's as comfortable as I would imagine any child is going underwater for brief periods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We definitely encourage bath time to be as fun as possible, including lots of playtime before the dreaded hair washing.  Lots of toys, almost-unsupervised play (I'm in the room so there is no drowning risk, but I don't interfere if he splashes all over, as long as the bath curtain is mostly drawn).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider self-guided showers if she is more amenable to those.  This was brilliant during potty training for my oldest; we had a shower head with a flexible hose (like you get for elderly people who shower sitting down), and we found out one day that he loved playing with it in a manner that produced a useful shower.  He takes it and moves it around so his whole body is thoroughly wet over and over again, and even (at 3 years old) can use soap in a semi-useful fashion.  The hair washing still has to be done of course, and this probably wastes some water (though I'm not sure how much with a low-flow shower versus a full bathtub?), but it might be a change even just to change things up for your little one, and it's a lot of fun.  Worked well with potty training after accidents - he could mostly clean himself up with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-02T21:16:06.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16791" CreationDate="2014-12-02T21:21:29.010" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;We cured the same problem in my daughter, INSTANTLY, with a cheap pair of swimming goggles.  I showed her what they were, what they are for - she pressed them to her face, and that was it.  no going back!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same pair got her used to jumping in a swimming pool, and to learn to swim.  Now she's nine years old, and an experienced scuba diver!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11709" LastActivityDate="2014-12-02T21:21:29.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16791" CreationDate="2014-12-02T21:26:40.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every child is different, and the suggestions already posted are good ones.  I would suggest one idea that I didn't see posted yet, which is to alternate between a bath and a shower with the drain open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids get somewhat fearful when the water is being poured from a cup or bowl, but for whatever reason they think the shower is funny.  I started with just holding them with their back to the water, and not putting their face in the water at all, letting their hair get wet but keeping it away from their face.  Then as they get used to the occasional splash, I would let them splash for a second or two in the shower and come back out.  It worked pretty well, and the water moving faster rinses out the soap / shampoo much easier than a bath does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes if the kids spill too much bubble-bath in the tub, I will let them splash around and then drain the tub and turn on the shower to rinse off, as it has just gotten easier over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11708" LastActivityDate="2014-12-02T21:26:40.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16800" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-03T02:50:23.627" Score="5" ViewCount="722" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's a good way to deter &quot;worst case&quot; questions? My son loves to pipe up with oddball rebuttals. Some recent examples...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;me: We'll be getting to Grandma's in about five minutes, yay!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  son: What if the car blows up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a field trip:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;air force pilot: Our parachutes are designed with inflatable straps, so if I land in the water I won't drown!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  son: What if a shark attacks you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While cooking dinner:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;me: Please set the table, food will be ready soon.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  son: What if the stove catches fire and the house burns down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pretty much every event, whether mundane everyday events or cool things like learning about parachutes (he loved that field trip, which is what really confused me when he piped up with that borderline-rude question), is met with some sort of catastrophe theory. It's difficult to carry on a normal conversation sometimes, and while I often manage to calmly point out the low risk of random house fires and car explosions, I also find it frustrating and don't always respond politely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-01T13:12:16.380" LastActivityDate="2019-02-01T13:12:16.380" Title="Why is a 7 year old always suggesting catastrophic outcomes?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16800" CreationDate="2014-12-03T03:42:19.463" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, none of those things are going to happen. It's possible that he's expressing a real concern, but you know that the probability of those occurrences are so low as to be non-existent. Laughing at this concern - or smiling or showing humor in other ways - will show him that he doesn't need to be concerned that terrible things will happen, because you're not worried at all. Fear and humor aren't very compatible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's more likely that he's not really worried about these things, and just saying them because he can. Maybe he wants attention, and in that case any kind of response will fulfill that need. (Operating under the principle that giving kids attention is generally good, especially if they're not behaving badly.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he's exercising his imagination, which is generally considered good. I'd tell him that the thing he mentioned wasn't going to happen. If he persists in asking &quot;But what if it does?&quot; then you can feel free to make up an emergency shark-escape-route plan of action. Play along with him in his game of imagination. Maybe this will even help him begin to develop real-life skills, such as learning to stay calm in crisis situations, or interest him in learning more about sharks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's doing it to avoid chores, like in the table example, then it might be a problem. Perhaps in that case you could smile and assure him that it won't happen, but that he can come up with a fire escape route after dinner if he's interested. If he pursues his what-if scenarios to the point where he is not doing what you've asked him to do, then it's simply a delay tactic to avoid the chore. How to handle those, I think, is best addressed in a different answer, or perhaps it is already addressed in a different question here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11712" LastActivityDate="2014-12-03T03:42:19.463" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16800" CreationDate="2014-12-03T07:12:12.177" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I find this indicative of a great imagination. I may be totally wrong here, but here goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that your 7 year old son may have come to realize that life in some capacity is finite, that existence can be tenuous, and that what we have can be &quot;taken from us&quot; at any time. This is called &quot;existential anxiety&quot;, and everybody goes through it. A lot of people deal with it by repressing it (not always the best way to deal with fear) but some can't (fear of flying, elevators, other phobias). This may also be a kind of &quot;catastrophizing&quot; (although most studies of pediatric catastrophizing have been in relation to how children experience pain).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he happen to be gifted or an emotionally intense child? This tends to happen more in this group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not describing anything worrisome; more commonly it's puzzling or concerning to the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is experiencing some existential anxiety, I would do what you're already doing (analyzing risk). I wouldn't only do it verbally, though. I would definitely encourage observation. For example, with his &quot;What if the stove catches fire and the house burns down?&quot;, I would walk him over to a window, and (kindly; he might be genuinely worried and wants to be heard) ask him to identify all the burning houses he sees (hopefully he can see a lot of houses). When he answers &quot;none&quot;, ask him why that is. If he wonders if the car will blow up, ask him to count all the burning cars he sees from now until he reaches grandma's house. Give him assignments, maybe even as a way of warding off exasperation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another approach (this is particularly important in catastrophic thinking) is to introduce intermediate steps. He jumps to the extreme anyway, so introduce real possibilities. A flat tire or running out of gas is a lot more common than an exploding car. Floating in cold water alone for an hour or two is a possibility if the pilot has to eject. Being stung by a jellyfish is a more likely possibility. Ask him what sharks usually eat. Let him know that sharks actually prefer fish; if a shark bites a human, they typically bite, then let go after realizing they’re not eating sea animals. Lots of things can go wrong and interrupt making dinner; you might experience a power outage, or the stove might break down. You might spill the food accidentally. What will happen if this occurs? Sandwiches or cereal for supper!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned about this, maybe you can minimize his exposure to violent scenes on TV or in movies. Pick some books for him where unexpected things happen and the protagonist overcomes the obstacles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this persists, or he has trouble sleeping or other signs of anxiety or stress, it's a good idea to talk to his doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/what-is-catastrophizing-cognitive-distortions&quot;&gt;What is Catastrophizing? - Cognitive Distortions&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.catastrophizer.com/the-experts-weigh-in.html&quot;&gt;a humor based website on catastrophizing&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-03T07:12:12.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16804" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16805" CreationDate="2014-12-03T19:24:54.347" Score="28" ViewCount="26724" Body="&lt;p&gt;All my kids are bad at swallowing pills. For whatever reason, it doesn't go to the back of the mouth easily for straightforward swallowing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is particularly problematic for the oldest (now 10), who has bad seasonal allergies and needs to take anti-histamines occasionally -- and it takes a long time, lots of water, and angry tears (from her, not us) before it either is swallowed accidentally, or dissolves enough in saliva/water to go down that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being able to swallow medication would let her avoid the bitter taste, get her relief more quickly, and generally make everyone more relaxed. What are some strategies to help kids learn how to swallow pills efficiently? We have tried showing her what works for us and it just isn't getting across, somehow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T22:22:19.377" Title="How to teach a child to swallow pills?" Tags="|medicine|life-skills|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-03T19:46:26.950" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try a two-pronged approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach proper technique. Many of us were taught to tilt the face upward when swallowing, but recent research &lt;a href=&quot;http://annfammed.org/content/12/6/550.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;see here&lt;/a&gt; shows, that this actually makes it &lt;em&gt;harder&lt;/em&gt; to swallow. The suggestion is to either &lt;br&gt;a) put the pill on the tongue, then suck a big gulp of water from a plastic bottle or &lt;br&gt;b) put the pill on the tongue, take some water into the mouth, then tilt the head down when swallowing. &lt;br&gt;The link above also gives detailed instructions with pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let them practice. A small peace of candy (mimicking size and shape of the pills, e.g a TicTac, better not too sticky) could be the dummy for test runs. Doesn't leave a bad taste when the first attempts don't work. So when necessary, the kids know what to do. Just remember to remind them (again, I suppose) that real medicine is not candy and while the candy may take the place of a pill for this exercise, it's never, never the other way round.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="4652" LastEditDate="2014-12-12T22:45:55.280" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T22:45:55.280" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16791" CreationDate="2014-12-03T21:48:32.500" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great answers!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2 years old daughter has a love/hate relationship with water, and she specially dislikes water pouring over her nose or mouth, which happened each time we washed her hair. What has worked of us is -as suggested by others- letting her take more control of the whole process, for instance, allowing her to pour water on herself with a toy pasta strainer. Also, putting one hand on her forehead while using the other to pour water on her hair, which avoids water running down on her nose or mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4749" LastActivityDate="2014-12-03T21:48:32.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T00:22:34.540" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's technique as @Stephie detailed (+1 btw), but don't forget the psychology. No one wants to swallow a pill, especially young ones (rather ironic since they don't always want to chew their food well, either).  For my daughter, we made it a game: Get the boat to float in the water and then swallow it all.  Years later she still referred to &quot;floating the boat&quot; when taking meds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find a way that works for each child's psychology and you'll be able to get past the mental blocks as well as the technical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2015-11-01T04:06:21.177" LastActivityDate="2015-11-01T04:06:21.177" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16808" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-04T00:31:14.167" Score="4" ViewCount="434" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, an only child, is 19 months old.  His two &quot;siblings&quot; are dogs twice his size and they get along great (I'm not sure how that sentence reads, but I'm not one of those people that actually treats our dogs like they're actual children).  Recently he's starting acting out a few things like our dogs. Most of them are cute but one is beyond gross:  He's opening his mouth and getting as close as he can to the dogs to invite them to lick... his mouth... like they (the dogs) do to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to get him around more kids, but it's not always practical.  Once a week or two is typical though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does get a lot of attention, but I could still see how this could be a vie for an immediate reaction.  I try to diligently stop it as it happens as calmly as possible but he's relentless!  I'll admit that the calm part isn't always successful.  I can't exactly ignore it and hope he abandons this behavior because it doesn't get a reaction.  Suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11722" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T17:53:22.117" Title="How to immediately correct a (gross) habit?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|attention|dogs|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8524" CreationDate="2014-12-04T00:50:57.153" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a child I would regularly confuse the words blue and orange. Like your son, most frequently I would use the word blue when I meant orange. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note the distinction here: I confused the &lt;em&gt;word&lt;/em&gt; blue for orange not the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qualia&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;'quale'&lt;/a&gt;. In my head I had a clear image of the colour orange, but vocalised the term blue. I do not suffer from colour-blindness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As time went on I 'grew out of it', and as an adult this poses no issues. While I can't provide any answers as to a cause, I hope this goes some way to answering your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11723" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-12-04T01:36:28.177" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T01:36:28.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16810" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-04T02:20:53.190" Score="3" ViewCount="451" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found (what I thought is) a really cool book to give my niece for her 7th birthday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book (&lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/1438005571&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Ultimate Book About Me&lt;/a&gt; by Richard Platt) is all about what makes a person, genes, how your brain works, memory, senses etc. It's a picture/factoid book. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I figure that some of the material is actually pretty advanced, and I'm wondering if I'd be putting her off this kind of subject by overwhelming her early, similar to how a elephant learns to not try pull away from a rope, after not being able to get away from it as a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11724" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-12-04T21:10:19.570" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T21:35:40.730" Title="Can giving a book that is too advanced for the child put the child off?" Tags="|learning|books|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16791" CreationDate="2014-12-04T03:23:58.027" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's sometimes better to use a &quot;Monkey see, Monkey do&quot; approach; I'm not sure if you have tried getting in the bath with her, and showing her that nothing happens to you when water goes over your face. My mom remembers that I used to have a terrible fear of water for a while, owing to an incident where I accidentally fell into the pool while playing tag, but scientific theory states that watching someone do an activity or action often inspires the observer to imitate them, despite any lingering fears or doubts, to put it simply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HTH, and good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11725" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T03:23:58.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16810" CreationDate="2014-12-04T07:47:10.563" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to my experience, you will not &quot;put her off&quot; if you remember a few pointers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any material, whether educational or otherwise, should be treated as an offer, not an obligation. Offer to read with her, but do not push her. Usually it's the &quot;encouragement&quot; that puts the child off, not the difficulty. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The level should roughly match the developmental stage and range of interest of the child. My son for example would not be tempted by a book about crafting or cooking, as good as it may be, as he's currently into science. Daughter is right in the dinosaur-phase and digging through all the books in our library. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the material is too advanced right now, most likely she'll put it aside and come back at a later time. Often, when something triggers a question. Then remind her, she might find the answer there. (Of course, the book should be age appropriate, but some challenge is better that too easy/boring. It's like clothes: better to leave some space to grow into.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be prepared to answer questions that may come up, but don't be ashamed not to know everything. Books like these can be a great way to show your own limitations and how to overcome them by ckecking on the internet or going to the library.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T07:47:10.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T12:13:48.157" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The technique that worked for me was to gently hold the pill between my back teeth, take a big gulp of water and let release the pill as I swallow the water. That way, the pill isn't sitting on your tongue tasting nasty and sticking to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never tried to teach a child to swallow pills but I did use that technique to teach a ~20-year-old adult who'd never managed to swallow pills before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7591" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T12:13:48.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14774" CreationDate="2014-12-04T12:41:29.107" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's interesting I didn't realise my 5 year old boy doing it until I read your post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The getting away part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time I tell him off 'comes the lip and the smooshed up eyebrows' and he creates the distance, i.e. goes into furthest corner of the room and bumbles there that he is 'not your friend anymore' or he 'doesn't care' etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does that drives me mad? Check.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did I try everything I could think of? Check. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing really helped until I came across this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/11/the-key-to-your-childs-heart-7-ways-it-works/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;blog post&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL;DR (Though I really encourage you to read this blog post with open mind)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Acknowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Before you tell your child that it’s time to leave the park, or remind&#xA;  him that the really cool truck he’s examining has to stay at the&#xA;  store, acknowledge his point of view. Acknowledge your child’s&#xA;  feelings and wishes, even if they seem ridiculous, irrational,&#xA;  self-centered or wrong. This is not the same as agreeing, and is&#xA;  definitely not indulgent or allowing an undesirable behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how are we actually trying to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We try to talk more to him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does it help? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of getting mad we try to talk to him explaining how we feel about what he did. Then we give him a chance to explain why he did what he did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We try to be calmer around him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have 2 kids. And of course they fight. And of course life is harder with two kids :) But we try to stay as calm as we can in various situations. Not freaking out every time something happens helps a lot :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it's not perfect all the time and we have our as parents episodes. But at least it seems to me that recommendations from the blog post above actually improved our relationship with our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="132" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T12:41:29.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T13:12:58.167" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are a few things I've recommended. I know this might gross some people out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some pills (some antibiotics and others) are notoriously bitter/ bad tasting. As soon as they hit the tongue, they start to dissolve, leaving a bad taste and a desire to spit the thing out, which only makes you hold it there longer and get more bad taste in the mouth. A butter or olive oil coating (butter works better in my experience) prevents the pill from starting to dissolve in the mouth before swallowing. Have the child place the lubricated pill as far back on the tongue as possible (fewer taste buds, and closer to the finish line), then take a sip of cold water or juice. The cold keeps the lubrication on the pill, and there's less taste of medicine. It has no effect on absorption in the stomach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pills 'stick' to a dryish tongue. Avoid this by (either butter or) having your child take a decent sip of water/juice and tilting her head back, open her mouth (she should be able to do this at ten) and drop the pill onto/into the pool of liquid. Close mouth and swallow. If the pill is a floater, tilt your head forward a bit to swallow. If it's a sinker, head back of neutral. Some kids find turning their head to the side 45° helps. I don't know if this is a plecebo effect or not. In either case, it gives the child something to think about besides the pill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try putting the pill in cold yoghurt. It goes down quickly and adds a barrier to sticking on the tongue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have never done the graduated size training, but if you don't mind your child practicing on candy, this is a nice reference: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/pill_swallowing_made_easy&quot;&gt;pill swallowing made easy&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T13:12:58.167" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T15:18:21.823" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While some pills you can't really do much about, many medicines (such as pain relievers, antihistamines, etc.) come in several different forms, and some are easier to swallow than others.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the same vein as the 'training' idea, if he has to take a Claritin every day, get the kind that have a coating that tastes good or even the ones that dissolve in the mouth; having to take a difficult, bad tasting pill every day won't necessarily improve things when the antibiotics come around - you'll just have bad memories and dislike it even more.  Then migrate to slightly harder pills over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T15:18:21.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T16:03:27.470" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a kid, I learned by putting the pill in a dab of yogurt on a teaspoon.  It was the old-fashion thick yogurt with lots of sugar.  Unlike a pill (or even a piece of small candy) swallowing a blob of yogurt feels natural.  The yogurt acted as a lubricant against the pill sticking to a dry mouth or tongue.  The yogurt also overpowers the bitter taste you might get from the pill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11731" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T16:03:27.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T16:17:41.967" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found the best way is to just dissolve the pill in a cup of juice first. Not too much liquid, so its not a chore to finish it. Works every time, and the child doesn't associate medicine with a bad experience.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11732" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T16:17:41.967" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16810" CreationDate="2014-12-04T16:20:05.567" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you don't push particularly hard, it's unlikely to do any damage: either she will be interested in it and read it, or she will not and she will ignore it.  I bought my nephew (then 7) a copy of D'aulaires Book of Norse Myths, a fairly advanced book of Norse mythology; he didn't think it was interesting at first, but then randomly read a bit, realized it was very similar to the Thor movies he was interested in (hence the purchase!) and read the rest of it rather quickly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You never know what kids will find interesting, and in a lot of cases 'too advanced' really means 'higher bar for interesting'.  If it is a subject she's interested in then I say go for it; if it's not, just don't be disappointed if she doesn't read it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T16:20:05.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7441" CreationDate="2014-12-04T16:29:50.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the medicine is a gel, I would try to apply it to my finger first, then holding the mouth with the other hand, gently apply it to the sores. I have a 1.5 yr old as well, and I KNOW they wont sit still. Nor listen to &quot;reason&quot;. So maybe try when in the highchair, as being restricted somewhat may help. You could also try putting the medicine on the back of her baby spoon, and rubbing it on that way. Also, using a Q-tip to apply it may be another viable option. I have had the same hard time trying to apply the teething gel without getting bitten. I have learned just to hold his head forward, and apply quickly. If it's an oral medication, the makers would have to expect some amount of swallowing. Follow the application with a tasty treat and a lot of praise. Hopefully she will associate medicine with feeling better and love from mommy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11732" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T16:29:50.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T17:12:18.943" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always hated taking pills. Here are some things that helped me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practice swallowing with soft and slimy food objects first. I recommend standard (cooked) cheesy noodles made with elbow or shell macaroni. Pick one noodle out with your spoon and see if you can swallow it without chewing. (Disclaimer: Supervise in case of choking. I never had problems with this, but kids have different abilities and younger kids may need more help.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For pills that can be taken with food, take a bite of some soft food like noodles, soft bread, or cake and chew thoroughly. Just before swallowing, open your mouth and use your clean finger to press the pill into the mass of food. Then swallow. Counter-intuitively, having a larger mass to swallow is actually easier than a small pill. (Also, a bite of cake can be a small bribe to make the experience more pleasant.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11733" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T17:12:18.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16791" CreationDate="2014-12-04T18:15:46.063" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Offer a &quot;happy bath&quot; versus a &quot;sad bath&quot;&#xA;My son had a similar transformation, and we had a few forced baths and felt absolutely awful about it.  I'm not sure if it was the water over the face issue or something else, but he would fight with all his might to get away from the tub.  After a few bad experiences we offered him 2 choices: a happy bath, or an unhappy bath.  With the happy bath he could climb in and do the usual stuff - play with toys, etc.  The unhappy bath was where we held him in there and washed him.  He eventually chose the happy bath and the problem went away after a few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Let them play with the tub before getting in&#xA;Another trick I can't say I tried, but might work, is involving them in the bath prep.  Let them pick out a towel and a wash cloth.  Show them how you get the water just right.  Maybe you put a boat in the tub and let them play with it for a few minutes.  Maybe even try this without the bath itself, just to prevent the fear of water in the face from transferring into a general fear of the bath tub itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also know that kids are sometimes afraid of drains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10010" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T18:15:46.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16808" CreationDate="2014-12-04T19:14:37.977" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;For me this is a combination of a few approaches.  I usually go through something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can I live with this?  If so, then do.  I mostly prefer the hands off approach when possible (let him learn through experience).  But of course sometimes the answer here is 'no', and the answer is different for different people.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At least the first few times, be a bit silly.  &quot;Eww, that's icky.&quot;  Things like that, where I convey my feelings on the matter with humor.  It works surprisingly well for me with my two guys; they don't &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; comply, and sometimes they do it more for a bit, but usually in the long run it works for things that have obvious icky factors (like dog licking, though we don't have a dog).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If that doesn't work, or it's something more complicated, then I try to explain the reason.  &quot;We don't eat food off of the floor because it can make you sick.&quot;  &quot;Sorry, that's dirty now.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If none of those work, and I can't live with it for a while, then we use a more firm &quot;No thank you&quot; just like we would if he were hitting his brother or some other unacceptable activity.  This we keep to a minimum, but sometimes you're just not okay with him chewing on the subway seat...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T19:14:37.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16810" CreationDate="2014-12-04T21:35:40.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot depends on how interested the child is in the topic, and how she responds to difficult topics.  I wish I could find the reference at the moment, but I read an article a while ago about how children will persevere through very difficult material if it is personally interesting to them.  For example, how Homer Hickham learned rocket science in &lt;em&gt;October Sky&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen the effect with my own son, who is seven but reading at a 5th grade level, largely because getting better at reading gave him access to more interesting superhero books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have seen research that shows the opposite effect you are concerned about, where it diminishes interest in a subject, but those are all when an advanced topic is &lt;em&gt;forced&lt;/em&gt; on a child before she's ready, like kids thinking they're bad at math because for a while they were six months behind their classmates developmentally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the pressure isn't there, you might be surprised how much kids soak up.  I've had my kids ask to watch with me when I'm watching a graduate-level lecture.  It's interesting to me, so it's interesting to them, even if they don't understand it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Factoid books are especially flexible, because kids can digest as much as they are able to handle, and revisit it later.  They don't have to understand the entire book in order to understand part of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say go for it.  The worst that would happen is you're out $15 for a book that's going to sit on a shelf for a few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T21:35:40.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1823" CreationDate="2014-12-04T22:23:32.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 month old had hers done. It's been 24 hrs and she bled quite a bit, so we had to stay until it stopped. They used something to stop the bleeding - forgot what it's called. She was in pain all evening afterwards, but nursed quite well. I also noticed dark colored bowel movement, which is not her norm but I'm almost certain it's from swallowing blood. Today it looks swollen under her tongue, no bleeding whiteish yellow color which they say is normal. I can tell it's still uncomfortable for her today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11737" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-08T21:56:07.780" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T21:56:07.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T22:31:30.510" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to have the worst problems both with taste and with it sticking to my tongue, and this technique solved both issues for me.  I'm the only one I know who does this, and I'm not sure how I came up with it, but maybe it will help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually put pills &lt;em&gt;under&lt;/em&gt; my tongue, just behind my bottom front teeth.  Then as the water comes in, I use the tip of my tongue to lift it into the stream.  Probably some dissolving happens, but because it's not on the taste-sensitive part of my mouth, it doesn't bother me.  It also isn't on my tongue long enough to get stuck there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it works for me because the tip of the tongue is so much more agile than the back.  It's worth a try, at least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also special &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B000NJJ3C4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;pill swallowing cups&lt;/a&gt; with a  little shelf that makes the pill move with the water before it enters your mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/VZxnD.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;oralflo pill swallowing cup&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T22:31:30.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-04T22:40:34.080" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was terrible at swallowing pills for &lt;em&gt;years&lt;/em&gt;. My inability to swallow tablets and capsules was a contributing factor to simply lying down in bed when I had a headache instead of taking some Tylenol, for example. The few times where I had an acute condition that required swallowing a pill, it would be a big chore that occasionally resulting in spitting out the pill entirely before starting over again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was in college, I was diagnosed with a chronic condition with no cure. There's treatment which prevents the symptoms, but I will most likely live with the disorder for the remainder of my life. Naturally, as something relevant to this question, the treatment involves taking pills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents never tried to get me over my inability to take pills in my youth. However, terminating my medication today is potentially fatal (and even if I didn't die, I'd lose my driver's license which pretty much makes life suck in the majority of the US). I learned &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;REAL&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; fast how to take my pills when the consequences for not taking them were worse than the PITA of taking them. After taking pills twice a day every day for years, I can practically swallow them without any drink assisting me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying you need your kids to be diagnosed with a life-threatening disorder in order to get them to take their pills; many adults swallow pills without ever being diagnosed with anything more serious than the flu. My point is that, if taking the pill is less cumbersome than the alternative, you've got the motivation to learn. Then, if you have practice, you become really good at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does your daughter &lt;em&gt;understand&lt;/em&gt; how bad her allergies are? You've said the pills take a long time, a lot of water, and angry tears to get the process over with... but what would happen if the pills were skipped entirely? Depending on exactly what the allergy is (you say &quot;bad&quot;), I can certainly visualize much worse without the antihistamine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can, I would try finding a medication that is fast-acting, and permitting your daughter postpone taking the pill until she can't stand &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; taking it. With a fast-acting medication, this would let her get relief soon after &quot;admitting defeat,&quot; so to speak, and giving your daughter the choice of when to take the meds would give her additional control over her life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it's possible that she'll avoid taking the medication at all, resorting instead to things like hydrating and Kleenex. I did the same thing when I was younger, and often toughed out in order to avoid taking pills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she avoids taking the pills and then complains about the allergy symptoms, remind her that she can make them go away by taking her medication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note:&lt;/strong&gt; This option may be difficult to implement if she needs to take the medication while at school, as many schools do not permit children to carry around drugs of any kind, forcing them to store them all at the nurse's office.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; your daughter's allergies are bad enough that avoiding the medication is a serious threat to her health, do &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NOT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; do this. While I personally got over my own issues with taking pills while in the face of something life-threatening, I was also well into my adult years by that point, and truly able to comprehend the consequences of my actions (or inaction). If her allergies pose a health risk, make her suck it up and take those pills (suggestions from other answers may help there); I'm sure you'd rather have a crying daughter than, for example, an emergency room visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7468" LastActivityDate="2014-12-04T22:40:34.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2014-12-05T01:36:04.547" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nurse told me do not let the child watching TV before 2 years old and then limited the time for the to watching. The over-stimulation may cause attention problem for them later on. The research shows that watching TV in the early age causes child suffer from ADHD in the early school.&#xA;But I find it is difficult nowadays for us not using tablet, phone and TV in front of infant. At least, I am still trying my best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11739" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T01:36:04.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16829" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-05T01:46:29.123" Score="5" ViewCount="2432" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had my daughter in this August. At beginning the breastfeeding was painful. The pediatrician suggested it was probably caused by my daughter's tongue-tie. I decided to have the operation for her. Before the operation the breastfeeding got better and better. So I decided not to have the operation for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently my friend brought the subject up and said she knew some kids who are affected have problems with speech later on. Is this true? Now I wonder if I should have the operation after all. It is maybe easy when she is still small. The operation would be easier now than later.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11739" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-30T17:01:38.253" LastActivityDate="2018-08-30T17:01:38.253" Title="Does Tongue-tie really affect talking?" Tags="|infant|language-development|ankyloglossia|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16829" CreationDate="2014-12-05T03:26:47.360" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ankyloglossia (tongue-tie), &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; cause problems in &lt;em&gt;enunciation&lt;/em&gt; and increase the amount of effort needed to say certain words. However, it does not cause a developmental delay in speech. That is, &lt;strong&gt;children with Ankyloglossia learn to speak at the same expected times and have the same expected range of vocabularies&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The extent of speech difficulties (enunciation/effort) may be partially or entirely overcome with special exercises for the muscles in the mouth/face and by using their tongue differently than usual to produce the same sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not possible to determine if an infant's tongue-tie will significantly impact their speech. The severity of the tongue-tie itself may decrease with age from 6 months to 6 years. There are no real studies out there that link Ankyloglossia (of any severity) conclusively to speech disorders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.asha.org/Publications/leader/2005/051227/f051227a.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;, the surgical operation(s) used to treat tongue-tie are usually not because of &lt;em&gt;speech&lt;/em&gt; issues. Instead, it's usually done when the infant or child is having difficulties feeding, or for appearance. In this case, your pediatrician suggested it because it may have been affecting your infant's feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T03:26:47.360" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2014-12-05T09:36:12.100" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have allowed my little girl to watch TV on and off pretty much since she was born.  This has only ever been for short periods though as I am not a big TV watcher myself.  I have always interacted with her during watching TV and talked to her about what's on the screen etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's just coming up to 2 now and has moved up to the next class in nursery a month early because she is advanced with her speech and knowledge.  I don't think a little bit of TV watching will do too much harm, but I do think you also need to encourage other healthy behaviour such as outdoor activity, reading books, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To contradict what I've said above, my health visitor has always told me that letting a young infant watch TV is bad for them and can cause problems like ADHD, although I got the feeling this was more opinion related advice than standard NHS advice.  She didn't say to stop my LO watching TV but she did say to limit it and have times where to TV is off.  I think this advice was more related to it being a background distraction and therefore would make it difficult for her to focus and pay attention on other things like books and toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience I have found watching age-appropriate TV to be part of a variety of educational tools.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T09:36:12.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16643" CreationDate="2014-12-05T12:06:44.423" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Kids love &quot;You can cook&quot; by Annabel Karmel.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt; Lots of photos for all important steps, good basic advice plus introduction to nutrition and healthy eating, too, while still easy to understand for kids. &lt;br&gt;Most steps can be done (with occasional help) even by small children. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;What I like most, is that the recipes are often &quot;kid's favourites&quot; while adding herbs or &quot;new&quot; veggies to introduce new tastes. Also it shows how to making things from scratch instead of store bought (bread, popcorn, pasta), which is a kind of &quot;experiment&quot; my kids love. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T12:06:44.423" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-05T13:01:59.047" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First take some water in your mouth then raise ur head up and open ur mouth. Now drop the pill in the water and gulp the water and pill together. This technique will eradicate tasting the wierd taste of the pill while eating it and easier to swallow pillows that are little extra sized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11743" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T13:01:59.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7961" CreationDate="2014-12-05T13:14:03.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I try to remind myself and often speak aloud the proverb:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, All play and no work&#xA;  makes Jack a mere toy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When working I try to work hard and express a desire to do a good job. At other times I express the fact that everyone needs to: take a break from work, relax, and practice good self care (whether that is stress management, exercise, recreation, meditation, etc.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much a child understand their various &quot;needs&quot; will increase with age, but i don't think it's ever too early to start. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many adults dont understand self care at all, so if you can get your children to even to understand the importance of balancing stress management, work ethic, and healthy eating they will be years ahead of most people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11744" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T13:14:03.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16836" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-05T17:09:06.770" Score="0" ViewCount="232" Body="&lt;p&gt;On several different occasions my daughter (7mnths-12mnths) was trying to poop, but then she would start crying like she was in pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I checked her diaper she had a big hard fat poop coming out, but it seemed stuck. I've had to actually help her push it out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that normal?  What can I do to help her feel less uncomfortable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11745" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-12-05T20:32:30.060" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T20:32:30.060" Title="Hard and painful stool in infant - is this normal?" Tags="|toddler|infant|potty|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2014-12-07T22:21:34.537" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-05T18:15:43.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try practicing on Tic-Tacs or small tablets - i.e. vitamins. Also, a nurse advised us when swallowing a pill to put your head down and to the right. This has been very helpful; and will certainly - if nothing else - help in preventing painful swallows!&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I hope this helps! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T18:15:43.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16838" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16840" CreationDate="2014-12-05T18:37:11.000" Score="8" ViewCount="15083" Body="&lt;p&gt;Help! &lt;br&gt;My two year old daughter  has cried since day one (back in September) when I drop her off at daycare. We are now in December. This I believe has now caused her twin brother to cry as well when I drop them off at daycare. I don’t know why she cries. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;This is a private daycare, there are 3 boys younger than 5 yrs old plus my twins and my 5 month old daughter. The other boys don’t cry when they get dropped off although they have been going there longer. The babysitter seems really nice and gentle. I noticed the oldest boy she takes care of hugs her when he arrives and when he leaves. I’m not so sure what seems to be the problem, unless the babysitter is being mean to my daughter (I hope not!). &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;I don’t know what to do. In the beginning, she would cry, yell and throw herself on the floor. Now she tells me wait mommy sit down. When I tell her I have to leave for work she says no and then starts crying when she sees me walk towards the door. She will hold on to my leg and cry. This has caused me to be late to work almost every day. When I arrive to pick them up they are happy. They run towards me hug my leg and have a big smile on their faces. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Please help. I’ve thought about maybe switching babysitters. I don’t know what to do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11747" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2014-12-05T20:58:05.410" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T05:46:44.880" Title="my 2yr old cries at daycare during drop off time" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16808" CreationDate="2014-12-05T19:10:32.067" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, if you truly want to &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt; stop the behavior, you will need to give immediate unpleasant results when he does it.  &quot;No Thank You&quot; and other firm verbal commands &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; work - over time.  The child needs to learn what the phrase &lt;em&gt;means&lt;/em&gt; before it will have any impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this stage in the game, a &lt;em&gt;light&lt;/em&gt; tap on the cheek, with a firm &quot;No&quot; will equate that word(or phrase) with &quot;Something I shouldn't do because it causes something unpleasant&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know there is large controversy over corporal punishment, and that's not really what I'm suggesting. The light tap can &lt;strong&gt;easily be replaced&lt;/strong&gt; by anything the child finds unpleasant, as long as it is consistently, immediately, applied and &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; acompanies your chosen phrase for &quot;don't do that&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggested the light tap because it is an &lt;em&gt;immediate&lt;/em&gt; unpleasant consequence, that's all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T19:10:32.067" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16838" CreationDate="2014-12-05T19:35:56.230" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on your comments and my own experience, Drop the children off, sign the roster, and &lt;em&gt;go&lt;/em&gt;. Do not converse, do not cave, do not look back, do not peek in the window.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of all do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; apologize, or have an apologetic manner or tone of voice. That behavior says to your youngsters: &quot;Mommy did something bad&quot;. which will make them worry about what you might have done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to make everything about the trip to the sitter be &quot;just another day, ho-hum&quot;. If YOU don't treat it like a big deal, your daughter soon won't, either.  The flip side of this is, the longer you stay because of her pleading, the more she feels &quot;in control&quot; of &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So be firm, be professional, and walk out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T19:35:56.230" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16838" CreationDate="2014-12-05T19:41:27.543" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is EXTREMELY normal, unfortunately. All three of mine had the same problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that she's cheerful at pickup time is a good sign. She is probably reacting to the imminent separation from you, rather than worrying about the babysitter being mean. This is supported by the fact that the longer you stay at drop-off, the more upset she gets when you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As heart-wrenching as it is to leave your children when they're upset, it has to be done. Aim to have a quick drop-off, with a friendly smile and hug but no dawdling. The babysitter should be willing to help with this (prying off a clingy child, hugging to help her feel better, distracting her with books/toys) -- after all, the less drama associated with your departure, the less crying she has to deal with when you're gone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on the happy faces you see when you pick them up in the afternoon, and remember that this really is for their own good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T19:41:27.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16838" CreationDate="2014-12-05T19:41:49.643" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This is very normal&lt;/strong&gt;, since you indicated they only cry a few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can happen at different times with different kids, and it can be separation anxiety, which all kids go through - they have to figure out that they are different, separate entities from other people!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daycare recommend the following, and it works:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have a consistent, quick, drop off routine. Hug or wave, tell them you love them, say bye and leave (or something similar)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have them walk in on their own, do not carry them. This help with their independence, and lets them focus on the daycare teacher/nanny, their friends, the toys they like in their care. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't ever prolong it or feel sorry for them. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you can, don't even go in there, simply stay at the door. This is their space, the nanny's space, not yours. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistency is key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T19:41:49.643" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16836" CreationDate="2014-12-05T19:46:33.183" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This happened to our second kid, though I never had to help him get it out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not uncommon for some kids to have hard stool when starting solid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially I would recommend you try to increase her water intake, as that is most often the issue. Make sure she gets water with every meal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not feed bananas, apples and other highly constipating foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try pears, strawberries and plums instead (lots of people will recommend prunes, I have yet to meet anyone who wanted to drink prune juice!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this doesn't help, talk to your pediatrician. It may be a dairy or other allergy or reaction (or infant intolerance), or the pediatrician may recommend laxatives. Do NOT give your daughter laxatives or other medication, even over the counter ones, without talking to you doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T19:46:33.183" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16844" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-05T20:00:38.313" Score="1" ViewCount="341" Body="&lt;p&gt;You all know adults who undermine your authority when you're out and about with your children.  They coddle your kids when they misbehave, and your kids know it and take advantage of the situation to see how much they can get away with, especially when your focus is elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want this to be a relatively generic question if possible, but for one example, my son does this thing where he waits for his little sister to pick a toy, then instantly he wants that toy and none other, even in a room full of toys, and even though it didn't interest him until it interested her.  He then starts pestering her about letting him play with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He knows we don't tolerate that pestering, and if he came to us we would make him play with something else, so instead he approaches a sympathetic adult, puts on a sad expression, and starts whining about his sister not &quot;sharing.&quot;  Those adults then treat him like he's the victim, give him lots of attention, and spend a lot of effort finding him a toy he will like better.  If we comment on his attitude, they take his side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, why do adults do this?  Second, what are some ideas to either stop it quickly or teach kids not to take advantage of it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not talking about grandparents or other relatives here.  With those people we have had plenty of time to lay out our expectations.  I'm talking about people like receptionists, nurses, retail workers, waiters, etc. with whom we don't have time to have a lengthy discussion on parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider that our situation might be worse than other parents.  My 10 year-old has cerebral palsy, but we still expect her to behave to her potential, which others are not usually aware of.  However, it is not in her nature to intentionally take advantage of her situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My seven year-old is quite small for his age, and since he is homeschooled, is often out when other kids are in school.  I think this leads people to unconsciously set their expectations lower, as if he were preschool age, which he can kind of pass for.  He's really the one who milks it for all it's worth, usually at the expense of his sisters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2014-12-05T21:10:15.870" LastActivityDate="2019-01-10T10:41:04.290" Title="Sympathetic Adults" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16838" CreationDate="2014-12-05T21:14:36.877" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read an article where it was suggested to turn it into a game where the child pushes you out the door. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example you walk in to the daycare; like Ida mentioned let her be independent by walking and holding her hand. Sign them in, say hi to the teacher or whatever the normal routine is. Then you say, &quot;Ok honey its time for you to kick me out&quot; and then you let her gently push you out the door and she gets to close the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can make it more fun by saying &quot;Oh no do I really have to go to work now? Ok I guess your in charge right now so I have too.&quot; Or something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are no tears because shes in charge of the experience. Just make sure you teach her not to slam the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T21:14:36.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16844" CreationDate="2014-12-05T21:32:07.260" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that in the example provided, I can't imagine being in a situation where that was possible; my son is younger than yours (3), but certainly wouldn't ask someone not &quot;in charge&quot; (ie, parents, grandparents, or daycare/teacher) to intervene in a dispute.  However my children are younger and in different locations, of course; so I'll answer from what I do have experience with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, what I've seen are interactions like the following.  I have a three year old and a 20 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Three year old starts throwing a fit because of some reason, in a restaurant.  He wants to have a toy that he can't have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Restaurant waitress: &quot;Oh, poor dear, why don't we get you a lollipop.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would suggest in this case, and have done a few times, is firmly telling the waitress:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Thanks, but I've got this under control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately for me, the last time we had this interaction (at lunch on the road back for Thanksgiving) the employee didn't do that, but did this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;&quot;Hi, would it help if I gave him a lollipop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is of course the 'good' response: asking the parent if they can help, rather than directly providing it.  However, nobody's perfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically the person is asking because they feel sorry for the child and/or uncomfortable with the noise/tantrum/etc., not because they think you're a bad parent - though it's certainly gone that way once or twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(1 year old is climbing on something that I know he's completely comfortable with, but is definitely not age appropriate for most similar aged children.  Another child's mother sees him and moves over to intercept.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Careful little guy, you might fall off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;    &#xA;    &lt;p&gt;(She proceeds to nearly knock him off.  I come over from where I was standing, 3 feet away.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hi, thanks, I'm watching him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, firmly telling them that I have things under control.  What's important here (and in the first example, but more here) is that I didn't argue with her thesis - that he wasn't safe on the playground equipment - but simply made clear that I was watching things and wasn't concerned.  If I argue with her, something like&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hi, thanks, but he's perfectly safe on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That opens things up for her to argue with me (even if it's entirely true).  By simply asserting my position as parent and making clear that I'm not some dad who goes to the park to read his email and ignore his kids, but pay careful attention to my children without helicoptering.  She of course could argue anyway, and that's happened before, but that's less likely if you don't initiate the argument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me it comes down to being firm yet positive: asserting your control over the situation as a parent, but not putting the other person down or making them feel bad for their action.  Sure, they probably shouldn't be offering your child candy or trying to insert themselves in your children's social development (which toy-sharing is one of the most important!), but if it's not someone you will likely ever see again I think it's better to leave it as a positive thing.  Grandma I treat very differently, since she's expected to help us raise the children the way we are trying to, and will see him often; but waitresses or receptionists you can't really do that with, without sounding condescending or likely making the other person feel bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I anticipate having more of these problems in the next few years, because my two boys are very close in age and interests - 19 months apart - and we're definitely finding even now that even with relatives who know our general attitude (such as Grandma) it's hard for them to understand our approach, which largely is to allow the kids to work out their relationship on their own without much intervention - as long as they're not physically harming each other significantly, anyway.  That's &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; hard for others to let go, from what we've seen so far, so I can empathize with the difficulty you're having with older children - and I hope the above strategies work for that kind of issue (or I'll find out otherwise I guess!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-12-05T21:38:15.127" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T21:38:15.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16847" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16850" CreationDate="2014-12-05T22:04:39.317" Score="2" ViewCount="312" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children like to fall asleep to music, have you used a helpful product that will timeout after, say 1 hour?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, the music plays all night. I'm not sure if that is bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11748" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-12-06T02:50:44.800" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T11:47:36.623" Title="My children like to fall asleep to music, what product will turn itself off after an hour?" Tags="|sleep|sleep-training|music|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-05T22:12:59.537" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've always be horrible with taking pills, even now I can only really manage a small, round-shaped Tylenol, but a couple of things that help me (which goes against some of the advice mentioned here, I'll admit):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a wide-rimmed glass with a small amount of water.  A short glass (like a juice glass or smaller) helps me a lot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Before taking the pill, I keep my mouth shut and don't swallow until I'm almost at the point where I need to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fire drill time: I quickly place the pill on roughly the middle of my tongue – more like the front third of the back of it – then take a quick, forceful drink of the water.  I take no more than a couple seconds to do all of this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't tilt my head in any direction any more than just enough to get a drink of water from the glass.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11749" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T22:12:59.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16849" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16624" CreationDate="2014-12-05T23:06:23.537" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds as if your family members rarely raise their voices, have fierce arguments or hurl insults at each other. All of which makes for a  great  healthy family environment but also means your small daughter lacks the antibodies for when she does come face to face with people expressing their anger or being verbally cruel (another manifestation of one's anger) to another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you should take your six-year-old to a match, any sports game where she'll witness people getting upset and angry over a referee's decision, or their team losing. She should get used to the idea that different people have different ways of reacting and coping with stress. Some get more carried away than others. Many people behave quite differently at a sports stadium than at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she should join a team sport? Football (soccer), volleyball. How about fencing? A disciplined and elegant sport, but one where a certain assertiveness and aggression is required; you aim your foil at the opponent, you &quot;attack&quot; in order to gain points and vice versa you run the risk of being &quot;hit&quot; yourself (but obviously without the pain). It's a popular sport among girls/women in Italy, but boys also love this sport.  Perhaps fencing might be a way of desensitizing her, a bit like becoming vaccinated. In other words she needs &quot;safe&quot; exposure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, she'll understand that anger = aggression is not necessarily &quot;bad&quot;, nor something to be scared of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways first time I've posted here, so please be gentle with me :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I found the following links which I thought might be of help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://m.facebook.com/notes/happy-parenting-365/sensitive-children-and-bullying/529046660507519/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Facebook: Sensitive children and bullying&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Raising_Sensitive_Child/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Raising a Sensitive Child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11750" LastEditorUserId="11750" LastEditDate="2014-12-06T09:32:56.553" LastActivityDate="2014-12-06T09:32:56.553" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16847" CreationDate="2014-12-05T23:14:26.650" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some noise all night is often a good thing.  We use off and on a white noise machine that plays soft sounds, like ocean waves or rainforest sounds or similar, and it seems to help my sons stay asleep sometimes.  Soft music probably also falls into that category (though it's not free of course in any event, hopefully it's a fairly low energy using device - rechargeable battery(s) or plug in).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say what you use now, but many devices include a sleep timer option.  TVs, many stereos, etc. have sleep settings.  iPhones/iPod Touches have the option in the timer (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cultofmac.com/250508/fall-asleep-to-music-with-your-iphones-hidden-sleep-timer-ios-tips/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; for example) to &quot;stop playing&quot;; so set play then set a timer for an hour choosing 'stop playing' as the option.  I suspect Androids do also.  Regular iPods have a sleep setting as well (Extras-&gt;Clock).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, some sleep aids (like the fluffy turtles and sheep you can commonly find at Walmart type stores, which display some lights on the ceiling and play some music) often are specifically set up to play for a short amount of time; we also have a seahorse that the child can 'hug' to have it play for 5 minutes or so, and can keep hugging to extend it, but when the child falls asleep it will go off (up to) 5 minutes later.  Most baby stores will have various sleep aid products like this; which you choose depends on the child's age largely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-05T23:14:26.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16852" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16854" CreationDate="2014-12-06T00:24:59.967" Score="16" ViewCount="4213" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in a restaurant when my 2.5 year old decided to throw a major tantrum. I used time outs, so I scooped him up and carried him towards the door (he was crying and flailing). Much to my embarrassment, an older woman stopped me and said...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; child needs is a &lt;strong&gt;good spanking&lt;/strong&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kind of had enough on my plate, so I just ignored her. But I would have loved to have said something wise in return. I think if I had said &quot;I don't spank my child&quot;, she probably would have said, &quot;It shows!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you've been in this situation, what have you done? What do you wish you had done?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-21T15:34:40.757" Title="How to answer someone who says, &quot;What he needs is a good spanking!&quot;" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16852" CreationDate="2014-12-06T01:43:14.220" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consider that this woman has grown up in a world different from yours, her perspective colored by a lifetime of experiences and education that are different from yours. Maybe she is scolding, maybe she thinks she is being helpful, maybe she is expressing frustration that a younger generation does not share her beliefs or that her hard-earned understanding of how to mother is out of vogue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly she is crossing a social boundary in giving advice to a stranger, but is it such a huge thing to ignore the advice, to acknowledge in a simple way that for a brief moment your paths crossed, that she spoke and you heard? You are two mothers from different times with different ideas, but you share a common experience - a child having a tantrum. Maybe you can acknowledge that commonality, saying something like, &quot;Tantrums are a  challenge, aren't they?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are not going to change a lifetime of someone's thinking with a brief comment, any more than her comment changed your thinking. So maybe just spread a bit of kindness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-12-06T01:43:14.220" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16847" CreationDate="2014-12-06T02:49:38.043" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Via &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alarm_clock#Clock_radio&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Some clock radios also have a &quot;sleep&quot; timer, which turns the music from radio on for a set amount of time (usually around one hour). This is useful for people who like to fall asleep with the radio on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My alarm clock has a button that turns it on for exactly 59 minutes, and I often use it . This is 1990's technology, so I'm not sure if new alarm clocks have the same function -- but it's a low-tech, low-cost solution if there's a good radio station available. (Classical is my personal choice.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-12-06T02:49:38.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16857" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16862" CreationDate="2014-12-06T13:35:04.297" Score="2" ViewCount="306" Body="&lt;p&gt;So my daughter sometimes refuses milk, but she also refuses water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually replace milk with yogurt or some cheese, but how do I make sure she gets enough water ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last time she refused milk, she got constipated, and it was quite painful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T18:10:45.917" Title="Infant of 10 months refuses milk and water" Tags="|infant|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16858" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-06T15:47:48.880" Score="12" ViewCount="522" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old son (and his brother, 5 sometimes) in winter generally demands to go to bed as soon as the sun goes down. We really wish he would stay up to 6:30-7:00 or so because when he goes to bed at 5:00pm he generally gets up at 4:00 am or the like (and gets us up). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you tell him its too early, you get screams of &quot;But the sun went down&quot; and &quot;BUT I'M TIRED&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for getting kids to stay up until bedtime&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="457" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T14:50:24.593" Title="7 year old demands to go to sleep at 5:00 pm" Tags="|bedtime|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6999" CreationDate="2014-12-06T16:17:25.770" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My neighbor, now retired, ran a daycare for decades.  She only showed movies or educational TV at the end of the day when parents would start picking up children. It distracted the children so that she could speak to parents as they came to pick them up. Most didn't watch at all - but continued to play and just listen to the movie rather like how our parents listened to the radio shows while doing other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it concerns you, certainly ask how long the TV is running, but don't expect the daycare to pander to you.  If the amount of viewing is unacceptable to you, find a different daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11759" LastActivityDate="2014-12-06T16:17:25.770" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16857" CreationDate="2014-12-06T19:55:36.977" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does she drink juice? When I drink juice, I often dilute it by adding an equal amount of water or more (I don't want the calories of all that juice, but I don't like the taste of our water). If she isn't used to sweet juices, she'll never miss it, and you will be adding fluids to her diet. Also, some people just don't like water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some juices actually help constipation by adding non-absorbable sugars to her diet: pear and prune juice are especially helpful. Pureed peas and prunes also help constipation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are fruits that are tasty but have a high fluid content like oranges and watermelon, which is easy to get here most of  the year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-06T19:55:36.977" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16858" CreationDate="2014-12-07T00:33:18.643" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I deeply sympathize. We have the same problem in deep winter, and gets to be something of an opposite problem in summer (staying up because the sun hasn't set yet)...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically for short days, some possible ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Look into indoor extracurricular activities like gymnastics, martial arts, music lessons, whatever he might enjoy. If it starts around 5 or 6 in the afternoon, he needs to stay up and active -- and that's easier if there's an interesting, engaging class.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Offer some bedtime preparation, but don't actually &lt;em&gt;go to bed&lt;/em&gt; for a while. For example, he needs to get his backpack ready for school, help prepare lunch, do a chore, take a bath, brush his teeth, do some other chore...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to get him engrossed in a favorite book or TV show before sunset, and/or have the windows covered (curtains, blinds, shades, whatever) so he doesn't notice when the sun has gone down. Until you want him to, of course :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-12-07T00:33:18.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2014-12-07T02:12:33.540" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In at least one way, TV is harmful to an infant - every minute spent watching is a minute lost to other, better activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guaranty your child would rather watch and listen to you than to the TV. Try putting her in one of those bouncy-relining seats on the counter while you cook or clean, and narrate your activities. You'll be amazed how entertaining you are! As they grow, keep her near you and keep talking to her and with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-12-07T02:12:33.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12712" CreationDate="2014-12-07T03:49:11.937" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We microwave our infants formula all the time, it's all we use to heat the formula. We always swirl and double-check the temp before feeding. I disagree with the losing nutritional value statement. I don't think that warming milk to 20 degrees celcius is considered &quot;cooking&quot; to anyone. There is a fine line in microwaving time to go from feeding temperature to cooked milk, so you have to be careful and get used to it. But for us now we have the prep times all figured out. 4oz bottle 30 secs from the fridge, 19 secs from room temp for our microwave. Obviously times will vary from different devices. My wife and I had a &quot;milk race&quot; one night to see who could prepare the milk the fastest. She used the microwave, I used the bottle steamer. By the time my bottle was ready she had the baby half ways through the feeding with her bottle. Shame to say I lost. Typical husband I am...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11766" LastActivityDate="2014-12-07T03:49:11.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16866" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16871" CreationDate="2014-12-07T04:18:01.533" Score="5" ViewCount="5965" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just found out that the filter in our Medela breast pump filter has some mold in it. We have pumped and stored about 5 bottles of milk with that filter. Should we throw the milk away?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9762" LastEditorUserId="26750" LastEditDate="2019-01-21T10:06:20.333" LastActivityDate="2019-01-21T10:06:20.333" Title="Should breastmilk be discarded if mold was found in the breast pump filter?" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16858" CreationDate="2014-12-07T12:10:32.993" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds very natural! All other diurnal life does this too. And you would too if it weren't for electricity and light bulbs. The circadian rhythm, levels of melatonin, serotonin are dictated by the eye's first exposure to UV light from the sun. The approximate 16 hour time clock countdown to sleep starts at first light exposure for the eye. A full day of natural light means he gets to experience a powerful sleep drive AND stay asleep. [I love it when I have that problem.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A suggested solution would be: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Decide the designated bedtime for the child. Go outside on an excursion with the child where there is no convenient place to lie down until shortly before the designated bedtime. He may complain that he's tired but you'll have to bear with it. Then, when the child goes to sleep, plan to wake him up between 8 to 10 hours afterward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Subtract 16 hours from the designated bedtime. This is when he should first see the daylight. Stay with him indoors, preferably with the curtains/shades closed, until it is time to expose his eyes to outdoor light. Make sure he still gets a full day's worth of natural light to intensify the sleep drive and reinforce the new circadian rhythm. Low intensity exercise in the morning, e.g., a morning walk will set his body up for being more tired by evening. Repeat for several days. This also works for adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11768" LastEditorUserId="11768" LastEditDate="2014-12-07T23:01:48.113" LastActivityDate="2014-12-07T23:01:48.113" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16866" CreationDate="2014-12-07T19:47:18.410" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say &lt;strong&gt;yes&lt;/strong&gt;, you should throw the milk away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mold is a microscopic organism. By the time it is visible to us, it has actually spread much further. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case of a loaf of bread with one end slice that's slightly moldy, it's advised you throw out the entire loaf. See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2012/05/is-it-safe-to-eat-moldy-bread-or-moldy-cheese/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason for this, is that bread is porous, so the mold spreads microscopically through the pores.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the filter for the pump has a lot of surface area for the microscopic fungus to adhere to, you don't have any way of telling which parts are actually contaminated. By the same note, you can't tell the extent of the contamination in the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also add, that if mold was able to develop in the pump, then &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; micro organisms may also have developed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you sanitize all the removable parts of the pump, and get replacement parts for any you can't. Medela customer service should be able to help you with replacements, hopefully at no cost to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found one online Q &amp;amp; A (which I won't link, because I didn't find it to be reliable), where a user said their pediatrician said not to worry too much because the mold from breast milk is similar to Penicillin mold and shouldn't be harmful. If you hear others say the same, I would contend that this is a very naive view. Yes, the pump is used for breast milk, but it does not mean that the mold is necessarily from the milk. There may even be yeast, rather than mold, involved. Without analyzing all of the contaminated surfaces, you can't be sure what is growing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2018-12-10T14:29:21.613" LastActivityDate="2018-12-10T14:29:21.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16804" CreationDate="2014-12-07T21:31:20.027" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had quite a time learning how to swallow pills.  What finally succeeded was practicing on slippery stuff--IIRC chunks of orange but it was so long ago I won't swear to the exact food.  Once I mastered the swallowing of the slippery stuff I could handle the ordinary ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3690" LastActivityDate="2014-12-07T21:31:20.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16873" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-07T23:55:21.667" Score="13" ViewCount="12661" Body="&lt;p&gt;Someone told me that my 10 month old grandson was injuring his hips by continually bouncing himself when he stands while holding onto a couch or table. He seems very healthy and strong. Is there a health risk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11772" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-12-08T21:00:42.010" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T21:00:42.010" Title="Healthy 10 month old baby bouncing himself while standing - will this injure his hips?" Tags="|development|safety|motor-development|gross-motor-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16858" CreationDate="2014-12-08T01:38:10.717" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got our kids (7 and 8) an alarm clock and said &quot;You're not allowed to get out of bed until the alarm goes off.&quot;  For us the issue is a little different. They have no trouble staying in bed on school days, but on Saturday mornings they have been known to wake us up at 5 AM, no matter what time they went to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They wind up playing quietly in their room sometimes (or sneaking the iPad and watching YouTube, which I don't love) but they don't wake us up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So thinking of the problem as &quot;we would like him to stop getting out of bed at 4 AM&quot; might help guide you to solutions to the real problem (he's waking you up too early) while you work on getting him to stay up later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11692" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T01:38:10.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2014-12-08T02:17:59.283" Score="-7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Those people saying that kids internet usage should not be filtered are in for a life of pain, especially when their children develop mental problems, depression and addiction. Being liberal with your children and talking to them is not the same as opening the door and letting them into a porn shop and allowing them to browse the material whilst at the same time talking to them about the dangers of porn. I hope you don't learn the hard way that this stuff just shouldn't be available before a certain age, no matter what your moral persuasion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11774" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T02:17:59.283" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16873" CreationDate="2014-12-08T02:34:42.290" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't think of any risk in this normal behavior (yes, this qualifies as normal) in a normal baby (contrast this to children who engage in abnormal activity, e.g. head-banging, who &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; putting themselves at risk). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anything, your grandson is showing good strength in his legs, good balance (he's not falling over with movement), and good large-motor skills in his lower extremities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People believe in all kinds of myths. I don't know where this one came from, but you don't have to worry about your grandson damaging his hips be doing what comes naturally to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-08T08:24:26.557" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T08:24:26.557" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16873" CreationDate="2014-12-08T03:22:07.623" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are seats you can get for babies to bounce in, which my daughter loved, but her orthopedic doctor said not to use for risk of hip problems.  However, that was an external device for a child who already had a high enough risk of hip problems that she had an orthopedic doctor.  My guess is the person who told you had heard similar advice, perhaps secondhand, and falsely extrapolated it to the situation of a perfectly healthy child bouncing himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Most&lt;/em&gt; of the time how a toddler moves under his own power is safe.  Even our daughter's orthopedic doctor encouraged that kind of exercise.  It's when you add external factors, like bouncers or walkers, that you might want to run it by an expert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T03:22:07.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16858" CreationDate="2014-12-08T04:58:18.257" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might be worth a blood test. Excessive tiredness could be a sign of vitamin D deficiency or low iron. Our son suffered both even though he is a carnivore living in a sunny place (Australia).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T04:58:18.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16879" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-08T06:45:07.803" Score="33" ViewCount="22053" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son doesn't want to share anything with other kids, and if some kid even so much as touches his toy, he pushes the kid. He shouts and cries at the same time, and tries to express his anger by pushing and hitting the kid. I feel so embarrassed in front of other parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when he is at home with me and doing something wrong, I try to stop him, he tries to repeat my words and shouts at me. He is copying the behavior of others, whether it's a good act or bad...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help me how to stop him from being a bully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11775" LastEditorUserId="7643" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T11:57:18.030" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T06:47:48.983" Title="My 2 year old is a bully!" Tags="|discipline|social-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2014-12-12T22:02:17.643" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16873" CreationDate="2014-12-08T06:55:30.670" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, there is no health risk. Your grandson is actually doing something healthy — building his leg muscles to be able to stand more easily, and to raise and lower himself in a more controlled, coordinated way. Sounds like he'll be walking in the next few months!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11776" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T06:55:30.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16879" CreationDate="2014-12-08T08:36:44.613" Score="58" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to the &quot;Terrible Two's&quot;! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son behaves typically for his age. At 2 he starts to assert himself and express his demands. It's likely that he has also learned that he gets his way when he throws a tantrum. For a 2-year old screaming, hitting or even biting is a normal way to express his anger - at least he will try and every success reinforces this.&#xA;He also comes across more limitations: The more he is able to do, the more often he is stopped... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution? It's already in your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;He will copy what others do.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;br&gt;So by all means, stay calm. No yelling, no fussing and - please! - no hitting. He has some learning (accepted behaviour like sharing) and some unlearning (no hitting or pushing) to do and needs your help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he throws a tantrum, either ignore him, or quietly remove him from the scene. &lt;em&gt;Do not worry about others!&lt;/em&gt; Most likely they have had the same trouble with their kids or will some time ;-) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he doesn't want to share yet - fine, he will learn. This can be practiced. Don't &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; him share, or he will resent it. Rather, &lt;em&gt;teach&lt;/em&gt; him the benefits of sharing. &lt;br&gt;Start with food, for example. Have a plate of cookies (or other favorite food), that's yours. He will likely demand some, but demanding doesn't get him a cookie. Asking nicely will! Explain, repeat. Then, switch roles. If he has cookies, ask him to share. If he does, praise him. Else - remind him next time when he wants your cookies that he didn't share. Share whenever possible: Having a bite from your plate, getting a piece off his. Repeat, repeat, repeat.... &lt;br&gt;Same goes for objects. Ask him to &quot;please&quot; share a toy, &quot;play&quot; with it for a short moment, then return. Say &quot;Thank you&quot;. He learns, that he gets the toy back. Share some of your things. &lt;br&gt;(Monitor the behaviour of other children, that want his toys - make sure they ask first and give toys back, at least during this learning stage.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One afterthought: You have some serious work to do, but it will be sooooo worth it! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11832" LastEditDate="2014-12-10T06:47:48.983" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T06:47:48.983" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16882" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16897" CreationDate="2014-12-08T10:13:06.670" Score="19" ViewCount="9408" Body="&lt;p&gt;Me being 22, I moved out a year ago (about half an hour drive away) to live with my girlfriend after I proposed too her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always (and believe I still do) had/have a good connection with my parents and experienced a good childhood, despite my parents having had to deal with a heavily handicapped and unfortunately now deceased son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I moved out december last year I am the one who keeps asking ( about 1 time a month) when it suits my parents to meet again, so we can have a laugh a drink or anything else. Not once last year they asked me to come over neither did they ask if they could come over for a cup of coffee or anything else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're going to do stuff with my family, for example they go for a walk or go bowling they don't invite us or me alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad called me once last year and my mom probably about 2 times. They do give the occasional whatsapp, but those are mostly: remember grandma's birthday or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love my parents and I assume they think I am too busy (Working 42 hours a week, buying a house, preparing a wedding and taking care of my chronical sick girlfriend, so I am also running an household), but I'd love it if they would simply give me a call when they would go out bowling or visiting my grandparents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It kind of hurts to see on Facebook that they do fun stuff with my brothers (23 and 15) who still live at home without even inviting me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like some advice about how to approach them, because at the moment I do feel left out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Response to questions given:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Before you moved out, were they happy in your choice of a girlfriend/fiancee?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: I believe they were&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Were they disappointed when you moved out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: I don't think so. They said they would miss me, but things never got emotional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Did they help you move?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: Yes they did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Did they rely on you for anything when you lived there that they're having to do without now? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: Only my presence&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: In other words, can you think of any reason they might be upset with you for leaving them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: No I can't think of anything. The only thing I took was my own playstation and they gave us a refrigerator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Were they solicitous of your affections and attentions when you lived at home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: Yes they were. I could tell them anything and they told me more about their life as I got older (finances etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Did they really hear you when you spoke with them, and respect your opinions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: Yes they did. We were not any emotional wonders being a family of 4 men. But when I spoke up they listened&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q: Did you all go out together to do things everybody liked, or that just a few liked?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A: We did the occasional funfair or zoo. Sometimes they would go out walking and since that didn't tend be my thing I would stay home. But they always asked me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. It's kind of the same for my brothers. I barely see them and they barely ask me to meet them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.P.S. My parents in law do actually contact both of us to meet up, or ask for an occasional coffee/tea&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.P.P.S If this is not the right setup for this kind of question you are free to edit it or tell me in the comments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11778" LastEditorUserId="11778" LastEditDate="2017-10-22T13:22:13.073" LastActivityDate="2021-05-25T16:18:38.410" Title="Son (22) has to keep initiating contact between son and parents after moving out" Tags="|parents|relationships|communication|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16882" CreationDate="2014-12-08T11:41:54.173" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, please let me express my sympathy, both for the loss of your brother, and now for the isolation from them that you feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what's going on in the minds of your family members. Before you moved out, were they happy in your choice of a girlfriend/fiancee? Were they disappointed when you moved out? Did they help you move? Did they rely on you for anything when you lived there that they're having to do without now? In other words, can you think of any reason they might be upset with you for leaving them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please take a long, careful, and objectively at your family, even if there are things you'd rather not think about too much. Were they solicitous of your affections and attentions when you lived at home? Did they really hear you when you spoke with them, and respect your opinions? Did you all go out together to do things everybody liked, or that just a few liked?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your fiancee is ill and you're working a lot, and planning a wedding. Did you ask your mom to help at all? Is your fiancee's mom (and dad) going to be helping?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess what I'm trying to understand is if this represents a true turn around for them or were they always kind of spontaneous people who didn't think ahead too much, not a lot of planning, just doing what they felt like? I think you need to do some serious thinking about them before saying too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, let them know you're eager to see them, and take the initiative to set something &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; up, at least once a month, that all of you might enjoy: an evening meal, a show, some Christmas music (if you're into that), whatever. If they keep turning you down, you have a valuable piece of information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it comes to that, you don't have much to lose by being honest with them about how you've been feeling left out. Maybe they'll be relieved to find that you have time to see them. Or maybe they'll say you're being too sensitive and laugh it off. I don't know. But it doesn't do any good to wonder why they are hurting you when they so clearly are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can start building up a life with those who do have more time for you: your fiancee's parents (and family?)Good luck, I hope it works out for the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T11:41:54.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16884" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16913" CreationDate="2014-12-08T11:54:41.230" Score="28" ViewCount="7032" Body="&lt;p&gt;If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frowned upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my observation, parents who don't want to spank often resort to things like grounding, canceling birthday party, sending the child to bed without dinner, shaming him/her in front of his/her friends, holding announced gifts etc. for punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it correct to consider the latter as &quot;non-violent&quot; forms of punishment? They certainly amount to psychological violence, and the pain they generate can be greater and more long-lasting than a spank, plus a spank is usually delivered right away after the child's bad behavior, while things like grounding or holding a gift are supposed to &quot;teach the lesson&quot; even long after the child already forgot the link between that and his/her bad behavior so there is the risk that the child will simply feel that the parents are &quot;evil&quot; to him/her for no reason, although not physically violent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand a physical punishment doesn't exactly sound like a very thought-through way to go, plus many parents just feel too bad doing that and simply cannot do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm talking about age 4-5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11780" LastEditorUserId="11780" LastEditDate="2018-12-06T07:30:57.970" LastActivityDate="2018-12-06T07:30:57.970" Title="Can a punishment be devoid of any &quot;violence&quot;?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|violence|abuse|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="19" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="16886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16873" CreationDate="2014-12-08T13:02:35.083" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone else has said above, if it was painful for him to do this he would stop.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe any movement they are making is only helping to strengthen their muscles so that there is less risk of joint problems when they are older.  Stronger muscles will help to support joints. My daughter loved to bounce when she was younger (less than 1 year old), she is now 2 and doesn't show any signs of problems so far. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T13:02:35.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-08T14:06:15.420" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If restraining your child in any way counts as violence, then maybe. If your child is having a screaming fit you might have to pick it up against its will and tuck it under your arm and carry it off, in a way this is violence in a small way, but better than actual beating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always tried to turn restraint (for example, carrying the screaming child out to the car) from punishment &quot;you are leaving because you are misbehaving&quot; to respect for others &quot;we have to leave because these other people want to eat in peace&quot;. After a while in the car I could ask &quot;have you finished screaming now?&quot; and mostly we were able to go back inside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never confiscated toys as a punishment, because little kids have such short term memory. But if a room wasn't cleared up after asking I would push all the stuff in a box and put it in the cellar till someone asked where the stuff had gone. Then I would say, &quot;oh, it wasn't cleared and I had to move it so I could clean&quot;. And then they would have to go in the cellar and get it themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T14:06:15.420" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-08T14:17:35.457" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From birth we've always talked to our child and explained everything to her, especially why its important that she does something if we ask her to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's never any need for violence, spanking, shouting or punishments, if you are doing it properly / calmly &amp;amp; in control of yourself and the situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11785" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T14:17:35.457" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-08T14:17:50.650" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;For us, psychological abuse is a serious issue. I've seen children who've never been hit more traumatised than ones who've been seriously physically hurt through &quot;discipline&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that consequences have to happen in a controlled environment at an early age, since if the child does not learn that early, then they will have great difficulties related to their lives and safety later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it is about &lt;strong&gt;how&lt;/strong&gt; those consequences are played out. If it is with anger and fear etc then that is at least as damaging as a smack. If it is with calm and smiles and explanation then the child has the consequence, no emotional or physical blows, no rejection, no hurt but the disappointment at the fact that the consequence has happened. Mum and Dad still love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think part of life is learning to understand, recognise and deal with consequences, so having that brought into life from an appropriate age but in a controlled and safe environment is highly helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T14:17:50.650" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16873" CreationDate="2014-12-08T15:20:01.173" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's absolutely fine - in fact it helps him to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;How can I help my child to stand?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your child can be held supported in a standing position from &#xA;  an early age&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This allows the child to experience the feeling of their body &#xA;  weight through their feet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;They may bounce up and down. They do this to develop the &#xA;  strength in their leg muscles.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You can stand your child in many different ways, for example on your lap when you are sitting in a chair, in front of a &#xA;  coffee table or sofa or on the sofa cushion next to you with their back against the &#xA;  back cushions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;As they get stronger, they will need less support from you and they will use their &#xA;  hands on the furniture to support themselves more.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When they can stand briefly without holding on, they are ready to learn to step along &#xA;  the furniture or ‘cruise’.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sompar.nhs.uk/content/26210/33259/39465/39469/Advice_sheet_-_ASEY012_-_Helping_a_baby_developing_standing_and_stepping_060912.pdf&quot;&gt;Helping a baby develop standing and stepping&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;Advice sheet CYP ITS ASEY012, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sompar.nhs.uk/&quot;&gt;NHS Somerset Partnership&lt;/a&gt;, 2012.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Five months to 10 months&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;By the time your baby is about five months old, if you let him balance his feet on your thighs, he'll bounce up and down. Bouncing will be a favourite activity over the next couple of months.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Many babies love jumping up and down in their door bouncer. However, if you have a door bouncer, limit the time your baby spends in it to three supervised 15-minute sessions a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As your baby learns to roll over, sit, and crawl, his muscles will continue to strengthen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Between eight months and 10 months he will probably start trying to pull himself up to stand while holding on to furniture. If you prop him up next to the sofa, he'll hang on for support. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As your baby gets better at standing, he'll start to cruise (moving around upright while holding on to furniture). He may then feel confident enough to let go of any support and stand unaided. Once your baby is ready to let go of the furniture, he may be able to take steps when you hold his hands. Your baby may even stoop to pick up a toy when standing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6507/developmental-milestones-walking&quot;&gt;Developmental milestones: walking&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;babycentre.co.uk&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/e1001109/medical-advisory-board&quot;&gt;Medical Advisory Board&lt;/a&gt;, August 2014&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The myth is more usually about small babies 'bouncing' on their parent's lap, supported by the parent's hands around their torso. &lt;em&gt;Parenting&lt;/em&gt; magazine has addressed it in this form:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Myth&lt;/strong&gt;: Letting your little one stand or bounce in your lap can cause bowlegs later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The truth&lt;/strong&gt;: He won't become bowlegged; that's just an old wives' tale. Moreover, young babies are learning how to bear weight on their legs and find their center of gravity, so letting your child stand or bounce is both fun and developmentally stimulating for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/care/14-most-outdated-pieces-of-baby-advice/#page=5&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;14 Most Outdated Pieces of Baby Advice&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Parenting&lt;/em&gt;, Amanda First / Ari Brown, M.D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paediatrician Dr Kristen Stuppy has also addressed it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am surprised how often I am asked if having a baby &quot;stand&quot; on a parent's lap will make them bow legged or otherwise hurt them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Old Wives Tales&lt;/strong&gt; are ingrained in our societies and because they are shared by people we trust, they are often never questioned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Allowing babies to stand causing problems is one of those tales.  If an adult holds a baby under the arms and supports the trunk to allow the baby to bear weight on his legs it &lt;strong&gt;will not harm the baby&lt;/strong&gt;. Many babies love this position and will bounce on your leg. It allows them to be upright and see the room around them.  Supported standing can &lt;strong&gt;help build strong trunk muscles&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatricpartners.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/will-standing-hurt-babys-legs.html&quot;&gt;Will &quot;Standing&quot; Hurt a Baby's Legs?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Quest for Health&lt;/em&gt;, Dr Kristen Stuppy MD, 4 August 2012&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-12-08T18:37:33.980" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T18:37:33.980" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-08T15:48:48.077" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The time-out system is designed to be non-punishment. It is about teaching a child who is out of control to settle himself. When the child misbehaves, he is put in his room for a few minutes (longer as he gets older), until he has regained his composure. It is an application of consequences - if you misbehave, other people don't want to be around you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child is in time-out, he is isolated and contained in a space (usually his own room), where he may play or have a tantrum or do whatever it takes to calm himself back down. We used the 1-2-3 Magic system and found that a child returning from timeout felt calm, relieved, and back in control. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes there are other natural consequences that need to be enforced as well. If a teen is irresponsible with the car, she doesn't get to drive it for a while. If a child is failing a class, his social life is curtailed to create study time. If a child hurts someone, an apology may be in order. None of this is punitive or violent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T15:48:48.077" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-08T15:51:49.890" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to address a particular issue I see in the comments: the (important) distinction between punishments and consequences.  &lt;em&gt;Punishments&lt;/em&gt; are distinct from &lt;em&gt;consequences&lt;/em&gt;, and work differently.  Many theories of parenting rely on consequences solely, and do not rely on punishments at all.  Punishments do not inherently contain violence per se, but they do require an authoritarian system - ie, an authority (the parent) imposing the punishment.  Many of the criticisms of punishment do not rely on the violence aspect, but on that authoritarian mindset, and on the fact that punishments simply teach aversion to punishment.  Having consequences for actions, rather than punishments, will tend to be entirely nonviolent, and does not necessarily rely on authoritarianism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below, some additional details not directly necessary but possibly helpful in understanding the distinction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, punishment is either inflicting a negative state or removing a positive state that is not connected to the behavior or action being punished.  Hitting a child, yelling at the child, and sending him to his room are punishments; so are the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, you didn't do your homework, so you are grounded for the rest of the week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jane, you played video games when you were supposed to be doing your homework, so you can't go to the mall on Saturday with your friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in fact, is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alan, you were talking on the phone with Jason instead of doing your homework, so I'm cutting off your phone privileges until tomorrow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these are punishments: A did/did not happen, so now I am imposing B.  Punishments are inherently authoritarian - they are imposed by the parent based on their authority - and are reactive; something happened in the past, so (punishment).  They are often inherently unpredictable (not necessarily that a punishment might occur, but the specific punishment) and tend to teach the child to avoid punishment rather than any specific lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is different from consequences: consequences logically follow from the action.  They may or may not be imposed from above; when they are, they are clearly explained and still logically follow from the action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, you didn't finish your homework in time to watch TV, so you don't have time to watch TV tonight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Jane, your video games obviously are distracting you from doing your homework, so you'll need to finish that before you play any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alan, if you keep talking on the phone with Jason instead of doing your homework, you'll need to check your phone into the charging dock until you finish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those aren't really all that difference from the first set, but they are directly, logically consequent from the choices the children made earlier: Johnny knows he must finish his homework before he watches TV, so he can't watch TV if he doesn't finish his homework before his show is on.  Jane's parents observe that video games are distracting Jane from finishing her homework, and so apply a similar constraint; the same basic idea applies in Alan's case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these are still fundamentally authoritarian, of course; but I think it's not on topic for this question to go into that aspect here.  Suffice to say consequences like the above are not violent in any way: the child knows the direct consequence of his action, which is logically associated with his choice.  (Of course, there is a more obvious consequence for all three of these actions: failing a grade in school, which many children would well understand to be a consequence of their action in any event.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T15:51:49.890" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16879" CreationDate="2014-12-08T15:53:01.263" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great advice on the other answer. Just to expand a bit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seems like he doesn't know how to express himself. Try to figure out why he doesn't want to share, and how to explain it properly to the other kid. &quot;We do not push other people, I can see that you are mad/afraid. Why are you mad? Explain to the kid why you don't want to share at the moment and tell him you'll share the toy when you are done?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his toys get confiscated often he might be more possessive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe there's a way that the two kids can play together while at the same time keeping the toy he is playing with. Kids aren't born with social skills and needs the parent help (some kid more than others). Try to do it by asking questions and not telling him what to do (yes, it's a lot of work at the beginning).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for home, it's hard to figure out what is happening. What is he doing wrong? Is he allowed to express himself in an other way. Let's say he throws a ball in the kitchen, show him where he can throw a ball instead of just saying &quot;don't throw the ball&quot;. Are most of your conversation about things he can't do? How about things he can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T15:53:01.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16879" CreationDate="2014-12-08T16:05:08.807" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One additional viewpoint: I have a three year old who sometimes is similar (also with his younger brother), and one piece of advice I've been given that I think rings true: if he's having trouble sharing or playing with others, it may be a cry for more time or space of his own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is both time and space literally on his own - toys that he does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; have to share, an area other kids can't go to, etc. - or more one on one time with his parents.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing they're dealing with at two is the concern that their toys may go away.  Having some toys that are consistently their own, guaranteed not to be taken away or have to be shared, can encourage sharing further as the child feels more safe and secure with what he has.  If you're going to a playgroup, bring a toy or two designated as your son's.  Tell him he has to share the toys that are common (either ones you bring or are at the location you go to), but these couple of toys are just his and are not for sharing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as space, it's very stressful having other children near to you at that age.  You have to practice constantly behaving well, sharing, figure out how to navigate uncharted social waters, etc., and are constantly evaluated; imagine at work if you constantly had to do new things and had your boss literally watching over your shoulder, plus a bunch of your colleagues constantly trying to take your laptop away.  Having some space he can retreat to is very helpful.  This isn't always possible at daycare or whatnot, but if you're there and see him getting stressed, take him away from the situation and to a consistent, calm location where he can work out his anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then, of course, more mommy or daddy time is very helpful sometimes.  Knowing he's safe and secure with you can do wonders for social development.  Not that he has to spend all of his time with you of course - but it may be that he needs a little more, or maybe just in these instances when he's getting stressed out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, when he's having trouble, don't treat it as a situation to be punished; treat it as a chance for you to help him.  So much of this difficulty is just working out his place in life and how to interact with others.  Sometimes that learning is hard, and he needs a little extra time to figure things out, but he will - though it will take several years to work a lot of these issues out.  That's perfectly okay.  I'd rather have a rambunctious, self confident and self assured son than a child that lets others run over him: self confidence is a lot harder to teach than self control, from my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T16:05:08.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16879" CreationDate="2014-12-08T17:30:58.853" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is common.  My wife and I thought we were the world's best parents because our son was so well-behaved --until he turned two.  Then we were ashamed to take him anywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something that really helped was finding a good preschool program.  Even though my wife was at home with our son, the chance for him socialize regularly with peers was crucial.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were also extremely fortunate to find a program that was comfortable dealing with unsocialized two-year-olds (it was actually the very school that inspired the book referred to by the_lotus!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T17:30:58.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16882" CreationDate="2014-12-08T17:45:24.610" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's important for a young adult to establish him or herself as an independent individual with his or her own life.  Whether consciously or subconsciously, your parents are perhaps trying to help you with that process.  Especially now you are to be married, your spouse needs to become the new most important person in your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, with two children still in the house, your parents are probably not feeling the sense of separation as acutely as you are.  Just remember, that even though your brothers have more of your parents' attention right now, they have not advanced as far as you in becoming full independent adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I would continue to reach out to them when you feel the need, and otherwise concentrate on your new life with your fiance and building a relationship with your in-laws.  I'm quite sure your parents will start reaching out again if you have children (or if your brothers move away from home).  At that point you may have more of them than you want!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T17:45:24.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16882" CreationDate="2014-12-08T17:54:32.450" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my parents and my in-laws had similar issues when I first got married, so I think it's not that uncommon.  I would try not to read anything bad into it.  It's just a period of adjustment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, consider that people naturally spend most of their leisure time with the people they live with.  Think of when you were still living with your parents.  How many activities did you do with your grandparents?  Your parents are now in the &quot;grandparent&quot; role, and you are in the &quot;parent&quot; role, even if you don't have kids yet.  You shouldn't expect the same level of togetherness.  Sad, but true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, my parents and in-laws didn't get used to specifically planning family activities until all the kids had moved out.  They were still stuck in &quot;parents with kids at home&quot; mode.  They also didn't want to intrude on our independence.  That puts most of the onus on you right now, but know that it will get better, and that it's not because they don't care about you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that helps is to plan a regular time to get together.  Perhaps a Sunday dinner, or a night out.  These things need to be scheduled now, so you may as well start getting used to it.  Don't leave an activity without making at least tentative plans for the next one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T17:54:32.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16882" CreationDate="2014-12-08T18:10:33.320" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can understand why you feel sad about this but I would suggest that perhaps there could be a more positive reason why you are having this experience rather than that your parents are upset with you or don't want to see you. It sounds like you are very mature and independent, particularly in comparison to your brothers. The situation with your handicapped brother (you don't say if it's the older or younger one) sounds very unfortunate and it's not his fault of course but it sounds like he needs a lot more care and attention than you do, having made your own life and moved out of home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not to say you don't need attention from your parents but I think it's quite normal that parents worry more and have more contact with their children when they are needier. This is a normal process that nearly everyone experiences as they grow up - small children need a lot more looking after than older children until like you, the child can look after itself. Now you all need to adjust to a new type of relationship where you meet each other mostly for pleasure and to enjoy each other's company. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had a similar feeling with my parents sometimes although less extreme than your situation. One of my brothers left home a lot later than myself and my other brother and has a few times since had fairly serious problems with money and had to ask my parents to help him out. He's also always been quite a difficult person to get on with and likes to get his own way. This seems to have had the opposite effect to what I would have previously thought in that sometimes I feel that my parents like him more than me and my other brother. More likely, they probably just feel he needs their attention more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I've had a child of my own, and particularly in the difficult early days when getting used to a new baby, I got a lot more support from my parents and saw them more often than when I was younger and single, going about my life which didn't have so many activities they could be a part of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have three suggestions for you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I think that parents like to feel needed and to be able to help out. So try asking them for advice on something. Perhaps tell them something you are struggling with. Maybe it's difficult to get work done on your new home whilst going about your busy job and taking care of your girlfriend so see if they can help out. Perhaps you could ask them to get involved with preparations for your wedding. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As suggested previously, make an effort to arrange social activities with them and include your fiancee. As everyone gets to know each other better and hopefully has a nice time together, they are likely to want to do this more often.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell them that you would like it if they called you more often or arranged to meet. It's not always easy to say things like this but try to mention it in a light hearted way. For example, at the end of a social gathering where you feel everyone has had a good time you could say &quot;so when are we meeting next?&quot; Or &quot;who's arranging for next time?&quot;. Perhaps they just haven't realised how you feel and like you suggested they may think you are too busy and have a lot of other things going on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps and congratulations on your new home and forthcoming wedding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T18:10:33.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16882" CreationDate="2014-12-08T18:56:47.083" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;With grown siblings, the dynamics of &quot;who calls who&quot; and similar are often very opaque and confusing. They are usually, however, not for a conscious reason but are simply trained behavior on autopilot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a similar situation.  My parents divorced when my sister and I were in high school. My dad remarried and got three younger stepchildren, and we lived with my mom till we went to college. My sister stayed in the same town as my Mom, I moved a little farther away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Years later, we're all grown, with spouses and/or exes and/or kids. We're all &quot;close&quot; - good relationships with stepmom and siblings and everyone with each other (we usually all have Thanksgiving/Christmas together, for example, even all the family's exes, because we believe that's better for all the kids). But patterns have formed, where my dad doesn't reach out much to my sister and I - it's generally our responsibility to call them; whereas they call and invite out the three younger siblings more. If I don't call them for a while - we just don't talk, they call on like my birthday and if someone dies. My mother and sister are super close and speak daily; if I don't call my mom for about a week she'll call me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those differences aren't intentional.  Sometimes someone will get griped about it - like recently my sister said to me she resented my dad not including her much. I know he'd be surprised to hear that and he thinks he does, it's just that my sister and I are older, both divorced professionals with our own houses, raising our kids as single parents, with our lives generally squared away. Whereas the youngers are still moving back into the house sometimes, having them care for their babies, that sort of thing. It's a natural attention-span deal (and as parents get older, they have a lot of stuff to be thinking about anyway, compared to the single-twenties life - especially in this case with another child with disabilities). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do is mention it in a non-confrontational way.  &quot;Hey, I'd love it if you'd invite me whenever you all go out, if I can't make it that's fine but I'd feel included.&quot;  &quot;It would feel good for y'all to call me sometimes as well, so I know you're thinking about me.&quot; You can affect their behavior about 20% with prompting of that sort - otherwise, it's the ebb and flow of everyone's life and you just have to account for it and understand that it's not a lack of love, just what is part of the everyday routine and what's not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1750" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T18:56:47.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-08T19:27:47.543" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Santi, thanks for asking such an interesting and important question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can behaviour which isn't physically violent be abusive?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think most people would agree that emotional abuse can exist without physical abuse; in other words, it's accepted wisdom that one does not have to hit a child in order for one's behaviour toward that child to be abusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nspcc.org.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NSPCC&lt;/a&gt; defines 'emotional abuse' like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Emotional abuse is the ongoing emotional maltreatment or emotional neglect of a child. It’s sometimes called psychological abuse and can seriously damage a child’s emotional health and development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Emotional abuse can involve deliberately trying to scare or humiliate a child or isolating or ignoring them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who are emotionally abused are usually suffering another type of abuse or neglect at the same time – but this isn’t always the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/emotional-abuse/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Emotional abuse: At a glance&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nspcc.org.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NSPCC&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here an adult recounts the emotional abuse that she suffered as a child: &quot;&lt;em&gt;Bawling at me, backing me into the corner until I was whimpering and crying, he would just laugh at me and walk away, satisfied by my distress.&lt;/em&gt;&quot; (NSPCC: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nspcc.org.uk/fighting-for-childhood/childrens-stories-about-abuse/fionas-story/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Fiona's Story&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The European Union's &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convention_on_preventing_and_combating_violence_against_women_and_domestic_violence&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Istanbul Convention&lt;/a&gt; defines psychological violence as &quot;&lt;em&gt;the intentional conduct of seriously impairing a person’s psychological integrity through coercion or threats&lt;/em&gt;&quot; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://conventions.coe.int/Treaty/EN/Treaties/Html/210.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Council of Europe Convention on preventing and combating violence against women and domestic violence&lt;/a&gt;, Article 33 'Psychological violence').&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the purpose of this answer, I'm going to treat the terms 'emotional abuse' and 'psychological violence' as synonymous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;'Punishment' versus 'consequences'&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of people (me included) would say that if their child behaves badly then the parent should enforce the consequences of the child's action (e.g. if you break your toy then you have to live with a broken toy, rather than having it replaced) and would differentiate 'consequences' from 'punishment'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And while I think that's a distinction worth making, I would rather (in this answer) look at actual parental behaviours, rather than get too badly distracted by an issue which could devolve into semantics. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For anyone who wants to find out more about 'consequences' as an alternative to 'punishment', I recommend the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dr Sears website&lt;/a&gt; and books (e.g. &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Behaviour-Book-Better-Behaved-Child/dp/0007198248/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Good Behaviour Book&lt;/a&gt;&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So can punishment/consequences exist without psychological violence?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly one parent's 'punishment' could be another parent's 'consequence'. So what (if anything) is the difference between a non-abusive consequence on the one hand, and emotional abuse on the other?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's look at a more detailed definition of emotional abuse - this is the British government's definition:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;The persistent emotional maltreatment of a child such as to cause&#xA;  severe and persistent adverse effects on the child’s emotional&#xA;  development.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It may involve conveying to a child that they are&#xA;  worthless or unloved, inadequate, or valued only insofar as they meet&#xA;  the needs of another person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It may include not giving the child&#xA;  opportunities to express their views, deliberately silencing them or&#xA;  ‘making fun’ of what they say or how they communicate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It may feature&#xA;  age or developmentally inappropriate expectations being imposed on&#xA;  children. These may include interactions that are beyond a child’s&#xA;  developmental capability, as well as overprotection and limitation of&#xA;  exploration and learning, or preventing the child participating in normal&#xA;  social interaction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It may involve seeing or hearing the ill-treatment of&#xA;  another. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It may involve serious bullying (including cyber bullying),&#xA;  causing children frequently to feel frightened or in danger, or the&#xA;  exploitation or corruption of children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Some level of emotional abuse is&#xA;  involved in all types of maltreatment of a child, though it may occur alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://media.education.gov.uk/assets/files/pdf/w/working%20together.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Working Together to Safeguard Children: A guide to inter-agency working to&#xA;safeguard and promote the welfare of children&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, HM [British] Government, March 2013&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think the answer to your question is that if the punishment (or consequence, or whatever the parent chooses to call it) has the features listed above, then it &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; abusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if it doesn't then it isn't. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this is only one definition of emotional abuse / psychological violence, OP if you had a particular definition in mind or if anyone knows of a better one, then please let me know in the comments and I'll try to incorporate it into this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly many of these things are a matter of judgement - for example, in defining what degree of protectiveness constitutes 'overprotection'. Where that's the case, I'd suggest looking at the effect of the behaviour on the child. If the parent's behaviour is causing &quot;severe and persistent adverse effects on the child’s emotional development&quot; then it is abusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you know a child who you think &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be being abused then you should contact the authorities and let them make the judgement. That's not a judgement that you and I (as non-experts) should be making. If you're think it &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be abuse then report it. The NSPCC &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/report-abuse/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;says&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't wait until you're certain if you are worried about a child.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-12-08T20:21:05.340" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T20:21:05.340" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-08T19:40:51.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, violence is by definition physical or abusive. Pop-psychology notwithstanding, failing to be unconditionally loved with 100% forgiveness and infinite patience is not equal to having violence done to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my family, we had something that was neither violent, nor punishment, nor consequences per se: We had disappointment. The shame of disappointing your parents. Some people might call it &quot;guilt&quot; although that often implies a religious component which didn't exist for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Say my brother and I were acting inappropriately in a restaurant. This was very rare by the ages of 3 and 5 - they were taking us to nice restaurants, where initially horrified patrons at the next table were quickly soothed by the fact that we were very, very quiet and well-behaved. But if we did get out of line, my dad would tell us calmly to quiet down and behave like adults. We almost always would. If not, he would repeat the same thing, with clenched teeth, looking around at the other tables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;God forbid we made another sound. If we did, he'd get up and leave us with our mother. He'd disappear, take a taxi home or something. She was in on this racket. When we got home with mom, he might or might not be there. If he was, or when he got back, he'd say nothing. Not a single word. If you talked to him, he'd just act like you weren't there. This would continue for as long as it took for each of us to formulate a complete apology. When we did, he'd say, &quot;what did you do wrong?&quot; And we would have to explain it to his satisfaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once that was done, the forgiveness was immediate, although the admonition was clear: We would never do something like that again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was no violence, and I wouldn't call it &quot;abuse&quot;, any more than it's &quot;abuse&quot; to turn your back on an obnoxious or drunk person in public. Is it &quot;abuse&quot; for society to scorn you for acting like a jerk when you're an adult? No, that's the nature of being a member of society. In fact, scorn and disapproval of bad behavior are the only things that really keep civilization glued together. The fact that we don't apply them in any significant way anymore is what's lead to the deterioration of our values into a race to the bottom, with all the bad behavior and shock value attention seeking we see on TV, that kids try to imitate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a toy was involved, my father wouldn't normally take the toy away. He'd say, &quot;you don't use this before your homework is done.&quot; At some point you realized that it wasn't worth what you'd have to go through if you got caught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was one incident, when my brother was 5 and I was 7, where my mom cut her thumb making breakfast while we were watching TV in the kitchen. I ran to get towels to stop her bleeding. My little brother kept watching Sesame Street. When my dad heard that my brother had done nothing, he took all the TVs out of the house except the one in my their bedroom. In my opinion that was the best parenting decision of all time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the time we were 3 years old, my father (who had four sons), spoke to all of us like adults, and expected us to act like adults. And it worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11791" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T19:40:51.870" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2014-12-08T20:00:45.343" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am at the parent end of a similar situation - 23 year old son who lives at home &quot;part time&quot; and with his girlfriend the rest of the time (20 miles up the road, closer to their respective colleges). I decided that being welcoming to him and his girlfriend (both well into adulthood, and in a long term stable relationship) should take priority over my imposing my views of propriety when they stay at our house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, when my 18 year old wanted his newly-minted 16 year old girlfriend to sleep over - it was a categorical &quot;no&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a sense, my attitude reflects my thoughts on whether a particular relationship is healthy and appropriate for my child, in their particular stage of their life. As a parent I try to steer my children towards what will make them happy. Which is not the same thing as giving in to every request. And I do expect that my wishes, when expressed, will be respected. But since I like it when my children come to visit I try to think carefully about what &quot;rules&quot; to impose. There's a fine balance between the role as a parent (which never stops), tolerance of the adult that your child has become, and the feelings of everyone involved. Not easy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11159" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T20:00:45.343" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16150" CreationDate="2014-12-08T21:57:25.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not uncommon for people to develop a stormy relationship with one or the other parent during adolescence, even under the best of circumstances --one might even argue it's part of nature's plan. Personally, I had a good relationship with my parents, and I still elected to go live with my grandparents during the last years of high school.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about this unless it really does persist past the first few years of college.  I think it's likely their relationship will repair itself without your help, and that your intervention might only delay the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, it might be better worth you working on improving your own relationship with your brother instead --maybe developing one that includes more listening and less advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2014-12-08T21:57:25.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16904" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-08T23:59:59.060" Score="4" ViewCount="17489" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm an expat from the UK living in the USA. My father works in the charity sector visiting third world countries and sees a visit to Haiti which coincides which my wife's due date as an opportunity to meet their grandchild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is understandably concerned that the first 6 weeks a newborn is very susceptible to infections and has concerns about what my Dad might catch whilst in Haiti. He will be visiting a hospital as part of his charity work during his time there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is causing the sort of tensions that I worry can drive a wedge between families. Is my dad actually putting our newborn at risk through his behaviour? I really don't want to tell him to keep away as I feel guilty enough living so far from them. My dad is adamant that we are overreacting but it's really not a normal situation. He cares a lot about the children in the hospital and so I feel as though my wife and I are selfish Westerners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11794" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T14:45:20.857" Title="Visiting a third world country before meeting a newborn" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16904" CreationDate="2014-12-09T04:07:55.303" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that your father could potentially be putting your newborn at risk, &lt;strong&gt;yes&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's why:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11231210&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;2-year survey&lt;/a&gt;, 64% of travelers to 3rd world countries develop some sort of illness. 26% of those travelers were ill once they returned from the trip, with 56% of those travelers' illnesses starting after the return (9.3% of all travelers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, roughly 1/10 of people who travel to 3rd world countries will return to their home country with an illness that may be contagious, but isn't currently presenting any symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nearly half of those reported illnesses were diarrhea, which &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emedicinehealth.com/travelers_diarrhea/page3_em.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;is contagious&lt;/a&gt;. Even if you flush, and wash your hands, diarrhea &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16033465&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;contaminates many other surfaces by aerosol&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your father visits and has an episode of diarrhea, he risks spreading the illness to any member of the household. If you or your wife catches it, then there's a high likelihood that the rest of the house will as well. You may not actually get ill until &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; your father's visit, because of incubation times, just as he may not be sick until after he returns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your father is specifically visiting a hospital, his risk of catching something is actually greater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically, an infant is going to be exposed to some contagions no matter what. However, I can't think of any other situations where I could concretely say there's as high as a 1 in 10 chance that a visitor may be bringing contagions that no one in my household has been exposed to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, there's no telling how severe any spread illness would be, or that you could tell it apart from any of the myriad of illnesses your infant could catch anyway. However, from personal experience, while infant illnesses may not negatively impact the overall health of your child, they certainly impact other parts of your life. Feeding and sleeping schedules are often immediately affected and can take much longer than the baby's health  to get back to normal. When you're already sleep-deprived from having a newborn in the house, losing even more of your own sleep to take care of your sick child is brutal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's unreasonable to ask someone who's coming from overseas (even without the stop in a developing country) to wait until after the 6-week mark to visit your newborn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not being selfish by trying to keep your child healthy. Your father is going out of his way to visit &lt;em&gt;sick children&lt;/em&gt;! He of all people should understand the importance of illness prevention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not saying he can't visit, you're just asking him to respect your timetable about &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; he can visit. He may be doing morally-positive charity work, but morally-positive behavior isn't immune to negative natural consequences (unfortunately).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2014-12-10T17:43:05.370" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T17:43:05.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16847" CreationDate="2014-12-09T05:25:19.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have an old iPhone or iPod you can play any playlist and set a timer I'm the timer app selecting &quot;Stop playing&quot; for the &quot;on timer ends&quot; action. &#xA;This will work even if the device is plugged into a set of speakers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11801" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T05:25:19.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16838" CreationDate="2014-12-09T05:46:44.880" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had this same problem.  After awhile I learned she loved the sandbox.  So I would stick her in the sandbox when I dropped her off, and she couldn't care less that I was leaving.  So ask the teacher if your daughter has something similar.  Before the sandbox the teacher would just distract her with a book and point her away from the door as I quietly left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11802" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T05:46:44.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16908" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-09T06:02:44.440" Score="2" ViewCount="1370" Body="&lt;p&gt;The society we live in, there are many chances of molestation. So, I want to advise her that stay away from boys. But at the same time, I don't want her to hate boys &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;forever&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; as once she grows, she has to marry! :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a catch-22 situation because if I want to make her understand that &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; stay away, because they are bad (not as safe as girls especially as far as molestation is concerned) but then if the impression of &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;'bad'&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; is settled in her mind, she'll &lt;strong&gt;detest&lt;/strong&gt; boys forever. I don't want that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6101" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T10:21:05.350" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T14:41:58.050" Title="How to advise a 9-yr-old girl to stay away from boys but not hate 'em?" Tags="|safety|parents|girls|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16852" CreationDate="2014-12-09T06:31:00.710" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think ignoring it was the right, wise answer. You could have any number of responses, from informative to &quot;pleasant&quot; to aggressive, but any response tells your child and any spectators that the woman's comment was worth validating in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing you could have said would likely have changed anyone's mind on the matter. Even being polite, a one-off with a stranger isn't going to prevent that stranger from repeating the behavior on some other preoccupied, unsuspecting parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a different setting, such as a close friend or relative making the comment during a visit, then I think an informative, verbal response would be warranted. However, it'd be important to not be reactive or stand offish, but calm and informative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;internal&lt;/em&gt; response to the situation may be of more importance (it is in my book). You should feel confident enough in your disciplinary and parenting choices to not have critique from strangers perturb you. If you're not bothered internally, you won't feel that need for an external reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T06:31:00.710" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16908" CreationDate="2014-12-09T07:04:04.103" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suppose you refer to the situation India, which has even hit inernational press lately? (No bashing intended, I commend your awareness and foresight!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please consider what you want to achieve: You want her to realize that there are &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; bad men that can do horrible things. That means, not &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; men are bad and a general &quot;stay away from boys&quot; would be too simple - and is not what you want to achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has to realize what the &lt;strong&gt;dangers&lt;/strong&gt; are and how to &lt;strong&gt;recognize&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;avoid&lt;/strong&gt; them. This will require some frank talk (age appropriate) on your side and clear instructions, what to do. I'm sure the women in your family will have some pointers, too, because they face the situation every day. Of course the &quot;It's better to stay with other girls, not alone&quot;-rule is a good start for a 9-yo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&#xA;&lt;br&gt;Of course age appropriate explanation of &quot;some people are doing bad things and hurt children&quot; is necessary for children of all genders and from all cultural backgrounds. Do not - out of shyness or wrong modesty - refrain from this. Start at an early age with a simple &quot;do not follow strangers&quot;, then work from there. Do not frighten them, but help them trust their guts. Often, children will realize that somehing is &quot;off&quot; rather early. Allow them to keep their distance, if they want to. This especially holds true &lt;em&gt;within&lt;/em&gt; the circle of friends and family as - at least in western cultures - most molesters are found there. (Sad, but true.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T08:22:47.707" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T08:22:47.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11683" CreationDate="2014-12-09T10:29:26.283" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless your child took the gun to school in order to threaten someone with it, or has thought about or talked about hurting someone with a real gun, I don't see why this isn't 'just about bringing a toy to school.'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might be scared, reasonably or unreasonably depending on the school and the circumstances, about someone such as a police officer mistakenly believing your child to be holding a real gun and shooting them. This is not his fault, or caused by his behavior. Nor is the tenuous association that teachers, school psychologists etc. might make between a 9-year-old playing with a toy gun, and school shootings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell your son that certain rules have to be followed, and that not following them will create more trouble that it is worth. When he is a little bit older you can explain to him how society's fear and neurosis over difficult, intractable problems (gun control, police brutality, mass shootings) boils over into hysteria and drama about small and symbolic issues which could otherwise be resolved easily and reasonably. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5000" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T10:29:26.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16847" CreationDate="2014-12-09T11:47:36.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Lullaby for babies&quot; 1 or 2 make my 11-months old fall directly to sleep.&#xA;His favorite is Sound 3 from &quot;Lullaby for babies&quot; 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can download this from Google Play, it's available for all Android versions. Personally I have an old Android 2.3.1 phone, dedicated just for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The time of play is adjustable from 10 minutes to 7 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11808" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T11:47:36.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-09T12:02:17.423" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, punishment is violence. Violence, a fact of life, is a part of nature and their world. The question implicit is what are the tolerable/intolerable externalities of violence and how to manage the potential risks that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; fear in accomplishing the desired behavior modification in the child. However, please do reconsider whether you must resort to punishment/violence at all or if you can think of more preemptive ways, prior to the child enacting the behavior, without hurting feelings and wasting energy (which can have long term lasting undesired impacts.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You must lead by example.&lt;/strong&gt; And show that it works. And, very importantly, not confuse matters by associating the desired or undesired behavior with interpersonal physical, emotional, or economic return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you associate the behavior with physical punishment, the child will associate the behavior with punishment when you are present. It will become a game of cat &amp;amp; mouse in which the child will either try to circumvent punishment or do the behavior when you're not around. OR, worse, the child may compare such behavior as equivalent to other types of behavior from their peers and seek to punish them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you associate the behavior with emotional punishment, then the child will hone more subtle &amp;amp; sophisticated ways of circumventing and manipulating your emotions in relation to the behavior. They will then apply those same emotional tricks to other people in life in getting what they want only to fool themselves about interpersonal relations when they've broken enough trust or thought they could change others to &quot;have it all.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you associate the behavior with compensation, then they will come up with a pricing/blackmailing system in which they behave in certain ways depending on degrees of payment. If you take something away, then they may try to take something away from you, for example, peace and quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child gets accustomed to punishment, then they will identify punishment as a normal part of their everyday existence; the cost of just simply living, so to speak. They may even get used to their actions and regular dose of expected punishment and believe that such a plight is a part of their life story. 'I do this because that's just me. So it's okay.' 'I get punished because that's what I'm about.' Then, you have a potential repeat-offending future criminal that you're raising because, through repeated exposure, their sense of risk has been desensitized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, WATCH OUT! How you treat them can turn on you. I heard a Native American once say that, in his culture, parents understood that, one day, the small child will be big and the big parent will be small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children learn through observation and witnessing the benefit of your example. And, by personal association/identification, they must personalize the values you wish to cultivate inside of them. This does not preclude you from expressing yourself and also demonstrating how to deal with other adults who see the world differently and play by different rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, remember, how they observe you teaches them what are the most effective ways of living through life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11768" LastEditorUserId="11768" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T12:37:02.003" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T12:37:02.003" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16914" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16916" CreationDate="2014-12-09T13:07:05.603" Score="1" ViewCount="714" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is proven that vaccinations doesn't cause autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I read from various internet/documentary/newspaper sources which claim that they have personally witnessed their child showing signs of whatever the modern definition of autism is within days of vaccination. In short, their child has changed dramatically for the worse.&#xA;There's even been a user on this website having the same kind of story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When these stories arise, I read that such a thing is not possible. However, I've never seen a single article coming to the bottom of what &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; actually cause autism in those cases!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that vaccination didn't cause autism in those cases, but what &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; cause it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11809" LastEditorUserId="11809" LastEditDate="2014-12-10T11:06:23.830" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T11:06:23.830" Title="Vaccination doesn't cause autism, but what does?" Tags="|autism|immunizations|research|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2014-12-09T18:10:14.167" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16914" CreationDate="2014-12-09T14:38:51.983" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Correlation, not causation, is the problem here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing &quot;causes&quot; autism, it is a natural state for people. It's not even an &quot;illness&quot;, it's a combination of personality and behavioral states that we classify as a condition simply because it is outside of &quot;social norms&quot;. In short: &quot;it just happens&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parents have &lt;strong&gt;heard&lt;/strong&gt; that vaccination causes Autism, so immediately after the vaccination they start to look for it and notice some behaviours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This completely misses the point that those behaviours were already there, unnoticed. That child was always going to show these behaviours, the parent just didn't notice them until prompted. The fact that the vaccines are usually given at around the age a child starts to develop their own individual personality traits only serves to exacerbate this: it's easy to notice newly developing traits. Again, they would have developed anyway, they just happen to be at around the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note also that Autism is a &lt;strong&gt;spectrum&lt;/strong&gt; not a &lt;strong&gt;cross this line&lt;/strong&gt; diagnosis. Everyone is on the spectrum, it's just that below a certain (rough) point, we stop declaring it as &quot;Autism&quot; and start classifying people as having personality traits. A calm, nerdy, introverted person with low social skills and excellent memory function, for example, is further &quot;up&quot; the scale and more likely to be considered as autistic (or, more likely, having Asbergers) than an outgoing, sociable person with little ability to concentrate (who may be tagged with &quot;ADHD&quot; instead)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of these things are personality traits, some are a result of &quot;how autistic&quot; they are, others are both. In essence, though, they are attempt to categories people by their behavior and personality: they do not correspond to a disease or illness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look hard enough you can notice autistic-like behaviour in anybody. I have little ability to emphathise and fairly &quot;tame&quot; emotional response, for example: that doesn't make me Autistic, but it perhaps suggests I'm further &quot;up&quot; the spectrum than somebody more emotionally involved: but I am, for the most part, a well adjusted individual, socially and behaviourally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, they're &lt;em&gt;looking&lt;/em&gt; for those behaviours and associating them with the vaccine. The behaviours existed before, and are just part of human existence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11317" LastEditorUserId="11317" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T14:45:13.543" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T14:45:13.543" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16908" CreationDate="2014-12-09T14:41:58.050" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ultimately if you teach her to stay away from boys then that will probably end up with her either hating them or completely rebelling against you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think what you want to achieve is better done by giving her the linguistic tools to say what needs to be said and to whom it needs to be said. If she doesn't like the way someone touches her, her body is absolutely her body and it is completely right for her to leave the situation/push the person away/ &lt;strong&gt;do whatever it takes&lt;/strong&gt; to keep herself safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You see there are plenty of girls who feel a mountain of pressure from society and their peers to do things that they really are either not ready to do nor actually want to do. And that is where you can help now, by teaching her to value herself, that she doesn't need to impress anyone, that if anyone says to her &quot;if you love me you'll...&quot; they don't give the slightest ... about her, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's about who she is now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're worried about adults abusing her, then that needs to be helped by you knowing what's going on in her life, as many adults who do this are very good at getting the trust of children and making them feel special and valued before the abuse starts so the child's silence is guaranteed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if you're worried about your daughter getting attacked, telling her to keep away from boys won't help so much as actually making sure you can help her make good choices. &quot;Don't walk home alone late.&quot; &quot;Don't be alone with boys you don't know.&quot; etc etc etc. You have to get her trust and explain the things are for her safety and throw in some life experiences from you and actually be vulnerable in front of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now is the time when she is probably the least at risk from her male peers. SO now is the time when you can introduce the language she needs and teach her about the dangers, what to look out for to make sure she doesn't have things happen to her that she doesn't want -- obviously and you know are bad too, but that's how to start it. Give her the skills now when it's easy so that later when she's not so under your jurisdiction she doesn't know how to handle herself around boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T14:41:58.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16858" CreationDate="2014-12-09T14:50:24.593" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;More light, and take away the association with the sun. Basically, try to get them to respond to light when you want the day to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About an hour before the sun sets, close any curtains etc and turn all the lights in the house on (and, if possible, TVs and extra lights). This will increase the &quot;perception&quot; of daytime, and remove the &quot;Oh look, the sun's setting&quot; trigger&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow the child to look outside if they wish to see that the sun is still up, but aim to distract them with games, toys, food etc: anything that takes their mind off what's happening outside. Be active yourself, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then as it gets closer to the bedtime you'd like, start reducing light levels and noise, so you're settling them down in much the same way they did to themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep their room as dark and quiet as possible in the morning until about half an hour before you'd like them to be up, then start increasing light levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11317" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T14:50:24.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16914" CreationDate="2014-12-09T15:04:55.637" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Causes of autism spectrum disorder&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The exact causes of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) are unknown, although it is thought that several complex genetic and environmental factors are involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The causes of ASD can be described in two ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Primary ASD (also known as idiopathic ASD) – where no underlying factors can be identified to explain why ASD has developed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Secondary ASD – where an underlying medical condition or environmental factor thought to increase the risk of ASD is identified.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About 90% of cases of ASD are primary, and about 10% are secondary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Risk factors&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Factors thought to increase the risk of developing ASD, known as ‘risk factors’, can usually be divided into five main categories:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Genetic factors – certain genetic mutations may make a child more likely to develop ASD.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Environmental factors – during pregnancy, a child may be exposed to certain environmental factors that could increase the risk of developing ASD.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Psychological factors – people with ASD may think in certain ways that contribute towards their symptoms.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Neurological factors – specific problems with the development of the brain and nervous system could contribute to the symptoms of ASD.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Other health conditions – certain health conditions associated with higher rates of ASD.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Autistic-spectrum-disorder/Pages/Causes.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Autism spectrum disorder - Causes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br&gt;&#xA;NHS Choices. Page last reviewed: 18/12/2013.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See the source for a detailed description of all five risk factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The causes of autism are still being investigated. Many experts believe that the pattern of behaviour from which autism is diagnosed may not result from a single cause. There is strong evidence to suggest that autism can be caused by a variety of physical factors, all of which affect brain development - it is not due to emotional deprivation or the way a person has been brought up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is evidence to suggest that genetic factors are responsible for some forms of autism. Scientists have been attempting to identify which genes might be implicated in autism for some years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Autism is likely to have multiple genes responsible rather than a single gene. The difficulty of establishing gene involvement is compounded by the interaction of genes and by their interaction with environmental factors. For these reasons genetic testing to diagnose a pre-disposition to an autistic spectrum disorder is not, at present, possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism.org.uk/News-and-events/Media-Centre/Position-statements/Causes-of-autism.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Position statement: causes of autism&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;National Autistic Society, 17 October 2011&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no known single cause for autism spectrum disorder, but it is generally accepted that it is caused by abnormalities in brain structure or function. Brain scans show differences in the shape and structure of the brain in children with autism compared to in neurotypical children. Researchers are investigating a number of theories, including the links among heredity, genetics and medical problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In many families, there appears to be a pattern of autism or related disabilities, further supporting the theory that the disorder has a genetic basis. While no one gene has been identified as causing autism, researchers are searching for irregular segments of genetic code that children with autism may have inherited. It also appears that some children are born with a susceptibility to autism, but researchers have not yet identified a single “trigger” that causes autism to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other researchers are investigating the possibility that under certain conditions, a cluster of unstable genes may interfere with brain development, resulting in autism. Still other researchers are investigating problems during pregnancy or delivery as well as environmental factors such as viral infections, metabolic imbalances and exposure to chemicals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism-society.org/about-autism/causes/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;About Autism &amp;gt; Causes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Autism Society&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T15:10:19.917" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16920" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-09T16:29:04.903" Score="3" ViewCount="3415" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4yr old daughter had a little choking scare with a piece of popcorn 9 days ago. since then she has refused to eat anything except freezies, 9 days without solid food! We have been to the doctor twice as well as the childrens hospital everyone says to wait it out? She has had 1 bowel movement in those 9 days&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11820" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T22:49:25.060" Title="My 4 year old daughter refuses to eat!" Tags="|food|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16921" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="16925" CreationDate="2014-12-09T16:35:47.247" Score="-4" ViewCount="1684" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a childless uncle who just became very worried about the water safety of my nephew. Whether this is my business, or not, I'm thinking of making it my business:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My nephew (&lt;strong&gt;who is 4-yrs old&lt;/strong&gt;) recently finished &quot;swimming&quot; lessons. However, he can't roll right/left to breathe while moving forward. And, he can't float on his back. All he does is swim out to a person standing in the pool; breathe; swim back to side of the pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This Thanksgiving weekend, I was at a bar adjacent to a huge pool at a resort. On the far side, my nephew was taking leaps into the pool and &quot;swimming&quot; out to my father. Then... rather than take a leap, he turns left and starts running along the side of the pool. It was a cool day, very few people were out, and no one was near where my nephew was running.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Am I wrong in thinking that this was a life or death situation? My sister is blowing me off about this. She is proud he can &quot;swim&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Am I wrong to think that a child needs to know how to float on his back, or be afraid of the water? My nephew is currently fearless of &quot;swimming&quot;. That is incredibly dangerous?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read the opinions of the haters of &quot;ISR infant swimming survival&quot;. They argue that &quot;ISR&quot; terrifies the child. Yes, it is terrifying. And, that is how it should be. If you can't get on your back a float, you should not (get in) / (fall in) water deeper than you can stand. That's obviously common sense, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;btw: My first memory is the &quot;final exam&quot; of my ISR training. I was innocuously asked to put shoes on. Then the instructor sat next to me, tied the shoelaces together, and threw me in... That &lt;em&gt;was&lt;/em&gt; torture. I found the name &quot;Dr. Harvey Barnett&quot; in the &quot;about&quot; page of &lt;em&gt;infantswim.com&lt;/em&gt; . My instructor's name was &quot;Harvey&quot;. If that Harvey taught swimming in central Florida in the late 1970s, I might have found my man. I do forgive him though. He made me into a strong swimmer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11818" LastEditorUserId="11832" LastEditDate="2014-12-10T02:58:19.717" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T02:58:19.717" Title="My sister thinks her kid can &quot;swim&quot;, but he can't breathe in the water. This is DEFCON-1 danger, right?" Tags="|swimming|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2014-12-10T08:38:41.330" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16921" CreationDate="2014-12-09T16:43:29.910" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, there's no way that child should be unsupervised near a pool unless he's demonstrably able to do more than simply swim to someone who then puts him in a position to be able to breathe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if he does learn this, a child shouldn't be unsupervised in a pool until very confident and able.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11317" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T16:43:29.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16920" CreationDate="2014-12-09T16:49:01.717" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you're doing the right thing to keep the doctor appraised of her condition and progress.  A four year old isn't going to starve in a week or two.  She's had a trauma, let her get over it at her own pace, as long as her doctor doesn't see any problem with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if you want some advice for helping her while she's getting over it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Freezes are a good answer, and along the same lines shakes.  You can make very nutritious shakes - there's a lot of recipes around for nutritious shakes with thinks like spinach/kale in them for green veggies, some blueberries or strawberries or whatnot for sweetness, and some yogurt for protein.  Good for you and very good tasting.  Banana+mango+spinach is popular with my kids for breakfast.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drink nutritious drinks, like milk and juices.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Soups - bean based soups that are pureed, or butternut squash/pumpkin soup also pureed.  Cream in them makes them rich and calorie-filled, but no choking hazard at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she's ready for a little solids, start with something really fun and easy, like macaroni and cheese - something she really enjoyed before, and is soft and mushy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T16:49:01.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16921" CreationDate="2014-12-09T16:59:43.713" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A four year old shouldn't be unsupervised near a pool whether he can swim or not (or anywhere else for more than a couple of minutes), but it also sounds like he wasn't unsupervised.  It sounds like he wasn't as closely supervised as you believe is necessary, which is an important distinction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I wouldn't insert myself into situations like this if it's something your sister knows about - ie, you simply disagree with her.  She's the parent; unless this is to the point that you think it is child endangerment (which it doesn't sound like it is, but that's hard to pick up from some words on the internet), you're going to make things worse by interfering.  If it's something she's unaware of - ie, she didn't notice her son being off by himself near a pool - then certainly mention it casually; but it sounds like here, you simply disagree with your sister's judgement and want to substitute your judgement for hers.  That rarely ends well, in particular when she's the parent and you're not.  It also sounds like (from the emotion in your question) that this is something that's sort of a sticking point for you; you probably should be aware of that emotional side, and recognize that your sister doesn't have to have the same opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom actually had something of the same issue with me and my younger child, and we handled it well (so far!).  She saw some videos I posted of him climbing on some age-inappropriate (but, in my opinion, my child-appropriate) playground equipment, and was concerned that it wasn't safe.  She told me her opinion, once, and I told her that I was nearby (within catching distance) and was comfortable with the safety given my nearness and his shown ability to catch himself.  I didn't tell her her concerns were invalid, and she didn't push it any further - just made it known how she felt.  That went pretty well for both of us, I think, and it seems like a reasonable model here; if you made your feelings known to your sister (which given you said 'she is blowing you off on this' it sounds like you did), that's the appropriate thing to do, and then leave it at that, as far as pushing your opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do, however, is watch him yourself when you're around.  If you're concerned that nobody is close enough to him around the pool, you can very easily change that by yourself being close to him.  Be the fun uncle that loves playing at the pool, and follows him around and does silly things.  You obviously can't be around every time he's near a pool, but you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; make things safer when you are there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T17:08:12.990" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T17:08:12.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16857" CreationDate="2014-12-09T18:10:45.917" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This tactic sort of backfired on us, but it worked.  My youngest son, when he was a baby, was initially breast-fed, but then we had to stop.  He &lt;em&gt;hated&lt;/em&gt; formula.  Refused to drink it.  Finally, we added a little strawberry flavor to the formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mind you, this was our third time around. (His sisters are in college) So, we were a little more open to &quot;unconventional&quot;. Like microwaving ( read that question, decided not to even touch it :P).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, short story: He loved it! so much so that after that, he refused anything that &lt;em&gt;wasn't&lt;/em&gt; strawberry-flavored. oops.  But, he was still taking in fluids, and stayed a healthy weight.  Now that he is 8 years old, the only interesting thing about him and strawberry flavor is that he doesn't care for it much anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my advice: do what it takes.  Check for thrush (or other factors) first, but if that's negative, then give your baby a flavor they like.  This should pass within a month or two.  If not, then there is something else wrong, and a doctor should be consulted again, along with everything you tried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T18:10:45.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16232" CreationDate="2014-12-09T18:34:57.943" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is just a guess.  they would be great for installing at the back of a drawer to prevent it from being pulled all the way out and onto a little toddler.  the two &quot;holes&quot; at the corner of the diamond section are the mounting points.  Position it so that the forward-curving section is above the level of the drawer, so that it will catch the upper drawer frame when the drawer gets pulled out far enough that it might fall out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T18:34:57.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16920" CreationDate="2014-12-09T20:59:37.347" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is very common for &lt;em&gt;adults&lt;/em&gt; who have experienced choking to avoid/dread food, and they understand how it happened. How much worse it must be for a child who doesn't really know the mechanics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you are frustrated because your doctors tell you to &quot;wait it out&quot;. This is extremely sound advice. Any other method of dealing with this would traumatize her further, e.g. hooking her up to IV alimentation, or tube-feeding her, etc. She doesn't need counseling yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choking is the fourth leading cause of unintentional death in children under the age of 5. She was frightened on a very deep and real level (to her, this was not a &lt;em&gt;small choking scare&lt;/em&gt;). She needs reassurance: reassurance that her fear will be respected, reassurance that you will protect her from this recurring, reassurance that she will get over it. Your role is to provide her with these reassurances in a way she can understand and be comfortable with. Patience is key here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feed her liquid food without anxiety that she's not eating enough. Your anxiety adds to hers. This might take weeks. She &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Introduce foods to her that are non-threatening. Chunks of canned peaches, cut grapes, and other soft, slippery foods cut too small to obstruct her trachea (for a 4 yr old, that would be smaller than about 8 mm) would be great. Vegetables like carrots, celery, and green beans should be shredded or cooked and cut up. Avoid dry foods, or hard to chew foods. Scrambled eggs, applesauce,Soups with small chunks are good. Use gravy and other &quot;lubricants&quot; with food until she feels comfortable again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach her, and model, safe eating habits. This will help her to avoid re-experiencing the trauma. Let her know that these things can help her to avoid choking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;eat sitting up (no eating while walking, laying back, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;no talking with food in mouth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;no eating while overly distracted or excited (no exciting movies, running kids, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;chew foods well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;offer her sips of liquids between bites&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always attend her while she is eating and reassure her that you will keep her safe (learn what to do if your child is choking so this will be truthful.) At the same time, it's important to avoid appearing overzealous, anxious, or overly vigilant, so she learns progress &lt;em&gt;herself&lt;/em&gt;, not only reling on you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this persists for more than a few weeks, talk to her doctor about a special therapist who can work with her swallowing and her fear. Far and away, most people recover without difficulties, although she may prefer to avoid popcorn for a few years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.health.ny.gov/prevention/injury_prevention/choking_prevention_for_children.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Choking Prevention for Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~nock/nocklab/Nock_Food%20phobia.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Paper on treatment of a 4 yer old child's severe food phobia after an earlier episode of choking.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-09T22:49:25.060" LastActivityDate="2014-12-09T22:49:25.060" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16884" CreationDate="2014-12-09T23:35:44.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer your question, I would like to break down your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frown upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spanking is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; universally considered violence, or abuse. There &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; many countries that outlaw all corporal punishment, which spanking happens to fall under. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See here:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The World Health Organization defines violence as &quot;the intentional use of physical force or power, threatened or actual, against oneself, another person, or against a group or community, which either results in or has a high likelihood of resulting in injury, death, psychological harm, maldevelopment, or deprivation&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, by this definition, a spanking is not necessarily violent. Yes, it uses physical force on a child as punishment, but it does not &lt;em&gt;necessarily&lt;/em&gt; lead to injury, maldevelopment of body or psyche. (This point is debatable, to many. Some would say even the lightest of spankings cause psychological harm. I don't agree, but I also don't spank.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See A E's answer, also, for good guidelines. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you state:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In my observation, parents who don't want to spank often resort to things like grounding, canceling birthday party, sending the child to bed without dinner, shaming him/her in front of his/her friends, holding announced gifts etc. for punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it correct to consider the latter as &quot;non-violent&quot; forms of punishment ? They certainly amount to psychological violence, and the pain they generate can be greater and more long-lasting than a spank&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that the reason for the lack of clarity that you express is because you lumped together quite a wide array of different types of punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I struggle to see any form of violence in grounding. The point of grounding is usually to keep you child away from people/activities that interfere with their focus, reflection on behavior, or health. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cancelling a birthday party could possibly be an excessive punishment. That depends on the situation, how developed the birthday plans were, and how &quot;visible&quot; the punishment is. If the entire point of it is to uninvite guests so that they all know your child misbehaved, then that's public shaming (which I'll address next). Barring that, I don't know which system could define it as violent. A poor decision? Probably. Violent? Unlikely.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sending the child to bed without dinner is also circumstantial. If you know the child is hungry, and this punishment is meant to make them feel hunger, then &lt;em&gt;yes&lt;/em&gt;, that's violent. If the child isn't hungry, and the punishment is meant to deprive them of family time or special food, then I would not say that's violent. There are many intermediate situations which may or may not be violent, but I think can be summed up as: If you intentionally deprive your child of sustenance when they're hungry, for more than a reasonable time, then that is violence. (Making your child wait until dinner is ready is not unreasonable).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Public shaming solely intends to elicit negative emotions in a child and encourage public derision and possibly bullying of a child. I would say this is definitely psychological abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't understand the gift thing, so I can't address it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I wanted to go through each of those points is to show that there's a pattern when trying to reason out whether your punishments constitute violence (or abuse). Do they intend to use your power to cause harm, or knowingly create a situation that is likely to cause harm? That is the question you need to ask yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You add:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;plus a spank is usually delivered right away after the child's bad behavior, while things like grounding or holding a gift are supposed to &quot;teach the lesson&quot; even long after the child already forgot the link between that and his/her bad behavior so there is the risk that the child will simply feel that the parents are &quot;evil&quot; to him/her for no reason, although not physically violent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which shows that you recognize that many punishments can be unreasonable, and possibly be detrimental rather than beneficial, based on the degree they're used. As you say, the extent of the punishment can be severe enough that the child will lose sight of the link between their behavior and the punishment. Grounding a child for a week for a small offense will likely feel totalitarian, rather than structured. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What this means for parents is that we should always be analyzing our punishments to make sure they objectively match the severity of the offending behavior, while also taking into account the age and personality of the child. This suggests that it's a good idea to not give reactive punishments (doing the first thing that comes to mind), but to take a moment to properly assess the situation first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also be asking yourself why you chose that particular punishment. Is it truly to deter them from that behavior, or is it to make them pay for violating your directives? If it's primarily the latter, than we're looking at retribution, which is easily construed as violent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;On the other hand a physical punishment doesn't exactly sound like a very thought-through way to go, plus many parents just feel too bad doing that and simply cannot do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Physical (corporal) punishment lends itself to rashness, but I'm sure there are plenty of parents who think it through. Some parents who may not normally spank, for example, may agree that there are instances where the behavior of a young child is severe enough to warrant a spank. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you provide a good list of &quot;gray area&quot; forms of punishment, it was far from an all-inclusive list of punishments that parents have at their disposal. Here's some more examples that may help you continue to analyze punishments:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Taking a toy away from a child for the rest of the day because they threw it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Decreasing a child's allotted TV-watching time because they didn't complete a chore/homework on time. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Giving a child a time out/sending them to their room for [whatever reason].&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not allowing your child dessert because they misbehaved during the meal.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Taking away a luxury item (like an electronic device) for a time for [whatever reason]&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Making your child write lines (think Bart Simpson on the chalkboard) for [whatever reason]&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, I would add that just because a child does not like (or gets upset about) something does not mean it's psychologically harmful. The nature of punishment &lt;em&gt;means&lt;/em&gt; that the offender won't like it. Indeed, part of parenting is teaching your children how to constructively cope with these negative emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Properly armed with the knowledge of what &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;violence&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;psychological abuse&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;domestic violence&lt;/a&gt; are, you can see that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punishment_(psychology)&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;psychological punishment&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punishment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;discipline&lt;/a&gt; are not violent in and of themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&#xA;           (Consequences)&#xA;            |            \&#xA;        (Natural)       (Punishment)&#xA;        /      \         |          \&#xA;(Positive) (Negative) (Disciplinary) (Violent)&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-23T13:45:13.797" LastActivityDate="2018-03-23T13:45:13.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16882" CreationDate="2014-12-10T01:50:00.500" Score="0" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One reason may be that they are conscious of the fact that too much close contact may (and is likely, at least in popular perception) to lead your significant other to be resentful. &quot;Mama's boy&quot; and all that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, they may be consciously letting you set the pace of interactions to what would cause the least amount of strain between you and your gf.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They may not realize you wish for more contact. Frankly, most guys in your situations are the reverse. They actively resent being &quot;smothered&quot; and view too much contact as assault on their recently found independence.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They could be like me. I personally just HATE contact and initiating it. It doesn't matter if it's parents, children, close family, far family, best friends or acquaintances. If I don't have a reminder to get in touch with them... I just might not. Not out of malice or bad feelings, but because keeping in close touch is alien to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Living together, this is different because there's no extra energy is spent on initiating contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good litmus test is, how do they treat it when YOU contact/call them? Are they glad to talk? Or rush to get off the phone and mostly silent? If the former, they probably just need to be contacted first and aren't avoiding contact as such.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T01:50:00.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16904" CreationDate="2014-12-10T13:01:51.473" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;CreationEdge's answer covers the health risks well, I think. I don't have additional feedback on that aside from opinion, but I would like to address your last sentences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This is causing the sort of tensions that I worry can drive a wedge&#xA;  between families..... I really don't want to tell him to keep away as&#xA;  I feel guilty enough living so far from them. My dad is adamant that&#xA;  we are overreacting....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You're the parents.&lt;/strong&gt; You and your wife get to choose whether or not this is too risky. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My in-laws habitually disregard my instructions regarding my kids. They let a 7-year-old ride in the car without his booster seat (breaking the law, not just my household rules) because he complained about reaching the seatbelt buckle. My daughter is very lactose intolerant, and they ignore the &quot;dairy free&quot; guidelines we want her to follow and say Lactaid pills are completely adequate (and then I end up helping her through days of intestinal distress). &lt;em&gt;These are judgement calls which they have no right to make, particularly in direct contradiction to my requests.&lt;/em&gt; As a result, their relationship with our family is extremely tense and strained right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you try to focus on this aspect of the problem in subsequent discussions with your father. The longer-term issue isn't about this one visit and potential contagion, but about being able to have a healthy and accessible relationship with your extended family. &lt;strong&gt;&quot;Our concern here isn't just about the hospital visit, even though that's a big worry. We're also bothered that you don't seem to be taking our concerns seriously. This is our child and we need to be able to count on your support in our parenting decisions.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; I wish we'd been wise enough to start this conversation in our family earlier -- maybe it would have helped, maybe not, but I'd feel better about how things have gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T13:01:51.473" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16852" CreationDate="2014-12-10T16:34:06.083" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you live on Earth, you have to understand that her view is either the majority in your area or a strong minority. For example, the average single mother in the USA spank their young children an average of 2-3 times a week. Including their &lt;em&gt;toddlers&lt;/em&gt;. So whatever response you give has to be compassionate with their worldview that routine physical abuse is normative and good. You think she is being rude and suggesting something awful, so respond with compassion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe say &quot;While I relate to where you're coming from, I don't spank my child because X and Z&quot;. For myself, I think spanking is acceptable but adults abuse it by using it far too much (more than once or twice in a lifetime I'd define as excessive). So instead of saying &quot;I don't spank because its violent&quot;, I say &quot;I understand that the rare spanking can be beneficial for a child, I don't spank because I feel far too many parents spank their kids far too much and I don't want to risk becoming one of those parents.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11842" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T16:34:06.083" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16935" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-10T22:04:35.617" Score="3" ViewCount="346" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a hand-me-down crib that has a drop side and I'd like to sell it but I'm wary of re-distributing a recalled crib. FWIW, We never used it because our first foster placement was much older than crib age and we're doing some purging as we get ready to move. I'm not prepared to move furniture for theoretical future children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It definitely has drop sides. I'm guessing it is five or six years old. It's last tenant is four now, and I know it was given to her parents by another family. So it predates the drop-side ban.  But I put my whole weight on the drop side and it didn't budge. So it seems sturdy to me. And the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov/en/Safety-Education/Neighborhood-Safety-Network/Posters/Crib-Rules/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;CPSC's poster&lt;/a&gt; about crib safety says &quot;Prohibit traditional drop sides&quot; but actually shows the exact mechanism that this crib uses:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/TGng1.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Crib Safety&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there some drop-side cribs that are safe? Or should I be throwing this out/selling it only as a toddler bed? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS. I did read &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/13924/what-should-i-look-for-in-a-crib/13926#13926&quot;&gt;What should I look for in a crib?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11692" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T23:55:48.783" Title="Has this crib been recalled? Should I not sell it?" Tags="|safety|crib|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16935" CreationDate="2014-12-10T23:55:48.783" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov/onsafety/2011/06/the-new-crib-standard-questions-and-answers/&quot;&gt;CPSC&lt;/a&gt;, you should not resell it and should disassemble it prior to discarding it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it okay for me as a consumer to resell, donate or give away a crib&#xA;  that does not meet the new crib standards?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;A consumer should not&#xA;    resell, donate or give away a crib that does not meet the new crib&#xA;    standards, such as trying to resell the product through an online&#xA;    auction site or donating to a local thrift store. CPSC recommends&#xA;    disassembling the crib before discarding it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is the answer different if a piece (“immobilizer”) has been added to&#xA;  my drop-side crib to prevent the side from moving up and&#xA;  down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Consumers should not sell or give away a drop-side crib that has&#xA;    an added immobilizer because it still will not meet the new crib&#xA;    standards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although your crib may appear similar to the crib in the poster, if it is more than four years old (manufactured before 2010) it is unlikely it meets the standard: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do I know whether the specific crib that I&#xA;  own/use in my child care facility meets the new standards?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;You cannot&#xA;    tell from looking at a crib whether it meets the new standards. It is&#xA;    not likely that cribs in use before the Commission issued its crib&#xA;    rule in December 2010 will comply with the new standards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you still know the model number and manufacturer, you can check with them, both about whether it is recalled, and whether it is safe:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you are considering purchasing new cribs that meet the standards, you may want&#xA;  to ask the manufacturer or retailer whether the crib complies with 16&#xA;  CFR 1219 (the new standard for full-size cribs) or 16 CFR 1220 (the&#xA;  new standard for non-full-size cribs).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-10T23:55:48.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="16940" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="17941" CreationDate="2014-12-11T02:16:44.520" Score="6" ViewCount="190" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a working mom and my son gets watched by dad and grandparents when I'm at work and our nighttime routines are all different now. My son never goes to bed at the same time any more and it is always a struggle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It started a few weeks ago when me and my husbands work schedules changed. Before the change, he was always asleep by 7-8 pm and up at 6-7 am. That was going on for 3 months before this. Now he goes to sleep late and wakes up all through the night. It also seems like he isn't getting an adequate amount of sleep, sometimes going to bed a 11pm and waking at 6am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't believe its teething. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did add a humidifier in the room just in case it was the change in weather and the dry heat might be affecting him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice for a new working mom? I need all the help I can get. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11850" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-11T10:11:11.400" LastActivityDate="2014-12-11T12:09:15.270" Title="My 9 month old's sleep schedule gets mixed up" Tags="|working-parents|night-time|daily-routine|first-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16940" CreationDate="2014-12-11T06:26:59.100" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try using a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000KUHFGM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;white noise machine&lt;/a&gt; They work wonders. We use the one with our girls and they love it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know they cost a lot but we've had ours for years now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11851" LastActivityDate="2014-12-11T06:26:59.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17942" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-11T06:31:49.807" Score="10" ViewCount="1066" Body="&lt;p&gt;First- if anyone has a better title suggestion after reading this feel free to edit. I had a hard time formulating a brief description.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest son is the result of a failed relationship that ended when he was an infant. I started dating my husband seriously when he was about 15 months old and then remarried when he was 4. I have always had full custody. He visits his dad more or less every other weekend, less so when he was a baby. All this time, I have been in a monogamous, stable relationship that produced two more children. We have a happy, healthy home that is grounded by a happy, healthy marriage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand...my son's father is a womanizer. (Hence, we are no longer together, amongst other reasons.) He had several relationships when we first split; he was often staying with one girl one month and then with another the next month, which resulted in very little visitation due to his reluctance to &quot;freak out&quot; his gf's by bringing a baby home. Eventually, he found a girl that had a kid the same age as our boy and he married her. Kinda all of a sudden. They played house: since she had a kid it was now convenient for him to have his son over, so he went over there a LOT and grew close to his step mom and brother (reluctantly-this boy was not very nice to my son physically or emotionally.) Two years later it was over. On Christmas Day, when my son was FINALLY going to spend Christmas with his dad. &#xA;Within weeks of his divorce, he showed up at my house with a new gf to take my son to the zoo. I guess the play date with the kid wasn't her thing because he showed up a month later with a different girl. This girl moved in with him after about a month and now they are engaged.&#xA;My son was devastated when his dad got divorced before. He still misses his step mom and step brother (it's all I can do to be sympathetic. Only because I love him I manage-they were nearly intolerably awful people). He asked me upon return from the zoo-date if he should call dad's date &quot;mom&quot; or her first name. Now, he's getting amped up for the wedding and a new step mom.&#xA;I'm happy that at least this girl is nice and she seems to truly care for my son (unlike the other one playing house) but I'm concerned that all these relationships are damaging him. He asks me all the time how come daddy gets to get married all the time and I only got married once. When he was young, first of all, he didn't hardly notice, and if he did notice the &quot;frequency of turnover&quot; of his dad's partners I was able to provide fairly &quot;light&quot; and pre-school friendly answers like: &quot;daddy is still practicing making friends-those girls aren't mommies&quot; or when he got divorced I managed the explanation: &quot;everybody is like a puzzle. There are lots of pieces and you have to try different things to see if they fit. The last piece of everyone's puzzle is a special piece that actually fits in two people's puzzles. One piece fits perfectly into both to join them together to make one big picture (our family). Daddy thought he found a fit (like you do when you do puzzles) but it turned out the picture was mixed up and it wasn't the right piece.&quot;&#xA;That explanation was satisfying for him but, I can't help but wonder, how else, besides the strong example we have set in our home, can we teach him the value and seriousness of making good relationship choices? He idolizes his father, so I fear that he gives his father's life choices equal weight. I am not so obtuse that I don't see that equalization is logical in his mind, and in other instances an advantage (in the sense his &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; experiences are doubled.) But as a mother I can't help but want to mitigate or prevent harm though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without preaching, or criticizing his father, how can I teach my son to choose healthy relationships over lust based flings, and ultimately, the value of a marriage? The upcoming wedding is a very very big deal. I want him to have fun, and be happy for his dad, but I wish he could understand that for now, it's &lt;em&gt;his dad's big day not his.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Btw-my son will be entering middle school next year. He's 10.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize marriage is often a religious topic, so I should mention that we are not religious, but have taught the children the basics of a few of the major world religions and about spirituality in general, so answers based in any faith (or lack thereof) are welcome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T16:46:05.137" Title="Helping a child cope with a parent's relationships" Tags="|primary-schooler|parents|relationships|divorce|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17942" CreationDate="2014-12-11T10:06:46.103" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If his father is in his life, your 10 year old son can't be shielded from his choices. Though there's a cardinal rule about not speaking ill of your ex to your son, that doesn't mean you can't discuss your own views respectfully and honestly, especially when he asks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speak frankly about what the foundations should be for good relationships whenever he asks and when it seems an apt time to do so. Comparing people to puzzle pieces might send the wrong message; people aren't things you try on until you find one that fits (isn't that pretty much what his dad is doing?) Break-ups are painful for &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt; - he's experienced that - and respect for a person's feelings and well-being, including the sacrifices that entails, should be discussed openly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Model what a healthy relationship looks like to the best of your ability. If there are other examples of good long-term relationships in his life (grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc.) make sure to talk to your son about them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will learn what he learns; kids are notoriously good at spotting differences between what we espouse and what we do. He can learn from his father's mistake as well as from your example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're really worried, a few visits with a counselor might help you work out a strategy regarding how you might best approach this with your son, and will help to address specific concerns you and he might have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-11T10:06:46.103" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16940" CreationDate="2014-12-11T11:02:46.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found a cradle swing extremely useful with both of ours, when they were overtired and really needed to sleep but couldn't get off to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;White noise + swinging motion + dim moving lights + mobile + mum or dad nearby = baby hypnotism machine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ZFvPW.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Cradle swing&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2014-12-11T11:02:46.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16940" CreationDate="2014-12-11T12:09:15.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;White noise machines are great, but in my experience the ROUTINE is what will make the difference.  You say he goes to bed at different times every night; that makes a routine very hard for him to get into, and if he cannot reliably predict what will happen (bath at 7, book at 7:30, lights out at 8) it makes it more difficult for him to settle down.  Can all the caregivers get together and agree to a solid nighttime schedule, and stick to it?  Once he knows that the routine starts like this, and will go on this long, and have these separate parts to it, he'll also know that &quot;okay, after lights out, I go to sleep.  Got it.&quot; and hopefully he'll drop right off.  Believe me, he's no more excited about the lack of sleep than you are. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2014-12-11T12:09:15.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17948" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-11T19:16:29.157" Score="6" ViewCount="8843" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, age 3, can now reach the harness release of her car seat, and has lately be defiant. And I worry about her loosening the harness while I drive. She complains she's &quot;too tight&quot;, which to me means it's &quot;just right&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'm looking to buy/build some kind of &quot;shield&quot;, which:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prevents the child seat occupant from touching the harness release.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allows a parent to reach under the shield to release the harness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things I'm thinking of is, this shield:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would be sat on and hang over the front of the seat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Could not be removed unless the harness was unbuckled.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some concerns I have though, this shield:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can't interfere with the child restraint's safety features&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can't introduce additional risk to the child. For example, a hard device which could break and lacerate the leg.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So some questions for you guys:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there a device on the market like this? That accomplished the same goals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If there isn't a device already; what materials could I use? I originally considered plastic, but worried about the additional risk from breaking. Another idea is very thick leather, to prevent the child gathering it up, to get around the shield.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I've highlighted the harness release, imaged on a similar seat model.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/W0Vmm.png&quot; alt=&quot;Child seat with harness release highlighted&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2389" LastEditorUserId="2389" LastEditDate="2014-12-13T00:30:30.627" LastActivityDate="2021-09-15T23:07:30.373" Title="Device to prevent child from loosening harness release of car seat" Tags="|toddler|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17949" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="17950" CreationDate="2014-12-11T21:49:55.187" Score="6" ViewCount="462" Body="&lt;p&gt;Relating to my other question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/17948/device-for-prevent-child-from-touching-harness-release&quot;&gt;Device to prevent child from loosening harness release of car seat&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My daughter, age 3, can now reach the harness release of her car seat,&#xA;  and has lately be defiant. And I worry about her loosening the harness&#xA;  while I drive. She complains she's &quot;too tight&quot;, which to me means it's&#xA;  &quot;just right&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do, behavior wise,  to discourage my 3 year old daughter from releasing her car seat harness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2389" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-26T18:06:27.593" LastActivityDate="2018-11-26T18:06:27.593" Title="Behavior advice to prevent child from touching harness release" Tags="|toddler|discipline|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17949" CreationDate="2014-12-11T22:20:19.927" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a problem we faced for a time with my now three year old; not exactly the same (we had a problem with him getting out of the harness/unbuckling it rather than loosening it), but works out to the same thing.  By two and a half or so he was capable of both unbuckling himself and buckling himself.  (This is with a new-when-he-was-1 Evenflo carseat that's quite difficult to unbuckle - he's just that determined.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We dealt with it in three ways.  First, we explained in detail why he had a carseat and why it was important for it to be buckled and reasonably tight.  I at one point showed him a toy bus with a 'Little People' figure in it, and caused it to have a crash (ejecting the figure).  We didn't do this in such a way that it scared him particularly, that wasn't the intent; it was intended to convey the information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, we have gone to a few auto shows with him (since he was 1 1/2), and one of the things that we found is he likes sitting in the front seat of the cars and pretending to drive.  We took this and ran with it.  Occasionally, when we have some extra time, we let him sit in our car in the front (usually driver's) seat, and pretend to drive.  One of the things he does - and he does this on his own, but if he didn't we would've pushed it - is buckle himself in before he starts pretending to drive.  It's not perfect - he can't really reach the steering wheel buckled, so what it ends up being is he buckles himself in, then he gets out - but he really likes buckling things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also let him buckle himself into the carseat.  At 2 - 2.5 he would buckle 'top' (meaning the little plastic bit that goes at the rib cage); he's only allowed to do this if he actually does a good job (ie, buckles himself in regularly and doesn't unbuckle).  We initially prompted him to do it (by asking if he wanted to), now we mostly don't but just verify.  Now, at a bit over 3, we allow him to do all of the buckling - again, as long as it's done right - and verify (including tightness) afterwards.  This gets some 'buy-in' to the process from him, and is a big 'treat' to be given the responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, when he did unbuckle himself, we immediately (as safety allowed) pulled over to the side of the road or exited the highway, re-buckled him, and reminded him of the safety issue.  Only once did we ever have an issue where it needed more than one stop; that time we just sat on the side of the road for several minutes until he stopped unbuckling.  We made it clear it was annoying to have to stop, but didn't yell at him or punish him - that didn't seem like it would be effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately we see this as a part of the whole seatbelt experience that he'll continue to have as a teenager, and hope that treating it this way helps him to make good decisions later in life in the same manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-11T22:20:19.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17951" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-11T23:57:33.463" Score="1" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is one years old I've been putting her on the potty 1st I would put her on the big toilet, and realized she didn't like it. now she sits on the potty.some days she goes and somedays she doesn't. What am I doing wrong? And she likes to drink a lot of water and juice please help. I let her sit for about 35 minutes in the morning noon and night&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11858" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-12-12T03:13:42.693" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T15:50:04.650" Title="potty... what am I doing wrong" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2014-12-12T17:15:41.083" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17951" CreationDate="2014-12-12T00:16:09.690" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may simply be too soon.  Usually 22 to 30 months is considered the &quot;standard&quot; age.  With Our first daughter, we tried to &quot;push it&quot;, and it turned into a horrible, long drawn out mess.  On the flip side, we didn't force the issue with our second daughter.  Then a few days before Preschool, we realized she hadn't yet learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our oldest said &quot;No Problem Mommy.&quot; She explained it all to her sister, and she was potty-trained in a day.  So, when your child is ready, it will be a lot easier.  What you are doing now is fine, so that she can get used to it, but my advice is be patient.  She will learn when she is ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastEditorUserId="11702" LastEditDate="2014-12-12T15:50:04.650" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T15:50:04.650" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17948" CreationDate="2014-12-12T03:47:23.550" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe there are any existing products for that specific strap. However, I do have a DIY solution that can be just as easy, &lt;em&gt;depending&lt;/em&gt; on your car seat model. This solution would work for my son's car seat and his booster seat both, but I can't tell from the picture you posted if it would work for your model.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you search for &quot;strap slides&quot; or &quot;strap sliders&quot; you should be able to find products such as these:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00LB7TJCQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rounded metal slides&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/B6cQG.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Nickel metal strap silder&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00O2TW2GK&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Metal slides with crossbar&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ZUYpE.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They make them in a variety of sizes, so take a measurement of the width of the tightening strap and get one that's just that width. I think they're usually about 1 inch wide, but I'm not sure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would opt for the crossbar models. They end of the car seat tightening strap is usually fairly think, so the adjustable crossbar allows you to more easily feed the end through the slider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also find plastic models with grooved crossbars that increase the tension, but many of them don't appear to be wide enough to fit the end of the strap. However, if your car seat model allows you to complete unfeed the tightening strap, the other end may not be as think and make these other slides the best bet:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/r2Q2b.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Triangle Slides&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/hlszP.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Plastic Slides&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I say that is because to make these sliders effective, they need to provide sufficient tension. If they're too loose (because they needed to be to feed the thick strap end through them), then they won't stay in place and prevent your child from tampering with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you must use one of the metal type slides, you may be able to increase the tension &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; adding the strap by wrapping some other material around the crossbar. My suggestion for this would be a strip of cut fabric that your can &quot;roll&quot; around the bar after a few manual wraps. Then, I would use some fabric glue to seal it in place. Note: This will make later removal of the tension slider difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once on, you just slide these things up towards the button/toggle that releases tension, and it'll help keep the straps from sliding even if the toggle is pressed. However, if your child is also putting a lot of pressure on the strap (such as leaning forward in earnest), then they may very well overpower the friction of the sliders. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would add that most of the products do not come in solo packs, so you may need to buy them in packs of 10+. Or, you could cannibalize an unused adjustable strap (such as one for a camera strap, or Guitar Hero/Rock Band guitar strap).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An alternative method is using something that can attach to the strap and prevents the harness release toggle from being pushed/pulled by fitting underneath it. On my son's seats, if I were to attach a small alligator clip to the strap as close to the release mechanism as possible, then I'd be physically unable to push down the release toggle until the clip were removed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T03:47:23.550" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8394" CreationDate="2014-12-12T04:11:34.920" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The Nose Freda is a nasal aspirator that you control with a tube and you do the sucking. It sounds gross but it's not....haha....it's snot!,!,!. Haha. &#xA;They cost around 16$ and I swear by it. Much better than a bulb. But the mucus must be softened with saline or steam. &#xA;The nose part goes to the outside of your lo's nostril and it's connected to a tube that you suck the boogers out with. &#xA;Can find it at whole foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11859" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T04:11:34.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13924" CreationDate="2014-12-12T04:50:14.257" Score="1" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It should be affordable&lt;/strong&gt;. A crib is not something that needs to cost a lot of money.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There should be a high availability&lt;/strong&gt;. Stick to cribs from well-known brands or from large retailers. This can make any possibly return/warranty steps easier (in theory), and increases the chances of you being aware of any possible future recall notices, should they happen. Large availability, or a large retailer, also increases your odds of finding replacement parts. Boutique or unique cribs may prevent you from later being able to find accessories (such as a toddler bed conversion rail.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It should take the standard mattress size&lt;/strong&gt;. Most retailers should have a guide that helps you find the right mattress size for your crib. Crib mattress sizes are pretty standardized, so many retailers only carry cribs that accept those mattress sizes. However, you should still double check.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Invest in a quality mattress&lt;/strong&gt;. Mattresses for infants should be firm, and stay firm. You can also find them with other features such as: hypoallergenic, antimicrobial, and waterproof. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Remember that cribs are for sleeping&lt;/strong&gt;. Your child shouldn't need to be in their crib except to sleep and nap, so how it looks doesn't really matter. You may opt for colors or styles that fit with your decorating scheme, but they won't impact your child's sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid attached-only changing tables&lt;/strong&gt;. If it comes with a changing table, that's great! However, since space is an issue for you, you'll want to be able to put that changing table where it best fits the space.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't just go by &quot;convertible&quot; on the box&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;em&gt;Most&lt;/em&gt; cribs I've seen in physical retailers are advertised on the box as convertible. However, this usually just means that the frame is sturdy enough to stand with one of the long sides removed, and has holes to attach a full-size bed frame. It does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; mean that the box includes a guard rail for a toddler bed. It does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; mean you don't have to perform quite a bit of disassembly to remove the extra side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since most cribs take the standard mattress size, and have completely vertical sides, you're going to lose about the same amount of square footage no matter which crib you go with.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You can find cribs with under-mattress storage drawers, but it's probably just as easy to get separate storage &quot;drawers&quot; to put underneath, if you so need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cribs, and many other infant-used products, are regulated by the US Federal Government. This means that there are standards of quality and features that must be met for them to be sold in the USA. Even if you're not in the US, the major infant brands probably still meet the US standards (since the business isn't likely making a non-regulation version for less-dominant markets). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many crib features, such as adjustable height, are also standard. For many styles, all it takes for the manufacture to make the mattress height adjustable is to drill an extra set of holes (or a few extra sets). It costs them almost nothing to add, but not doing so makes their product much less desirable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mattress-related goods, in general, are highly standardized. That's why you can get a standard crib that can convert to a headboard for a full-size mattress. (Crib mattress is 51 5/8 inches &quot;long&quot;, full-size mattress is 53 inches wide. This is not a coincidence.) So, most retail cribs will be compatible with various add-ons or accessories, even if from different brands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We purchased my son's crib at Walmart, on *clearance**, and have had no issues with it specifically. The only problem is that most cribs are too large to fit through standard house doors while fully assembled. Since my son has switched rooms a few times, and we've moved a couple times, I've had to take it apart and reassemble it in the new room many times. Nonetheless, this Graco-brand crib from the world's largest retailer has had no physical or hardware issues and is still just as sturdy as the first assembly. It was a great purchase.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T04:50:14.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17957" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-12T13:02:07.077" Score="5" ViewCount="677" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little one's father is great with her. However, he is a severe alcoholic. When he is drunk, it is a terrifying thing. ( he is not physically abusive, but rather mentally) as my daughter is getting older, I am scared for her to be in the same house with him for fear that he will relapse. I am seriously considering filing for separation, but I am scared of what this will do to my daughter. She is too young to understand right now, but I am sure that if I tell him to leave, he will go back to drinking heavily....and not be a father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;any advise is welcomed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11864" LastActivityDate="2014-12-16T13:16:51.773" Title="what to do when the father makes poor personal choices (not necessarily a bad father)" Tags="|toddler|divorce|alcohol|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17957" CreationDate="2014-12-12T13:44:46.407" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have revised this post, which initially was more focused on an excerpt from &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drjan.com/13char.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Adult Children of Alcoholics&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by Dr. Janet Woititz. This research is rather dated, and also has led to possibly unjustified assumptions of causation by some researchers; anybody reading this answer and interested in the subject is encouraged to read the comments below, and the links therein.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, a quote from the NIH article &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa09.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children of Alcoholics: Are They Different?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; conveys better what I had hoped to express -- there can be significant impacts from having an alcoholic parent, but largely because of emotional abuse:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In considering children of alcoholics (COAs), it is important to remember that, although there is a genetic component to the vulnerability to alcoholism, COA issues are not related primarily to alcoholism itself but to the social and psychological dysfunction that may result from growing up in an alcoholic home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also suggest looking over &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64258/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Impact of Substance Abuse on Families&lt;/a&gt; (Chapter 2 of &lt;em&gt;Substance Abuse Treatment and Family Therapy&lt;/em&gt;).                &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My grandfather was an alcoholic. This resulted in a lot of emotional trauma for my mother and her siblings, which they're &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; struggling with decades later (some successfully, some less so). He wasn't a &quot;happy&quot; drunk, and was angry, demeaning, and emotionally abusive towards his family very regularly. I and my siblings and cousins had to grow up with confused/depressed/angry parents -- this one emotionally abusive alcoholic had a significant impact on the emotional well-being of not just his kids, but also his grandkids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their experience wasn't traumatizing because of the alcoholism directly, but instead because of his incredibly bad parenting style. I have a good friend whose mother was an alcoholic, and her experience was different: her parent was rather distant and inattentive when drunk instead of being aggressive and frightening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different kinds of emotional abuse (belitting vs. neglect, for example) have different consequences. But honestly, I don't think this is a hugely important point, because trying to evaluate &lt;em&gt;which sort&lt;/em&gt; of trauma you'd prefer for your child is a cruel question. &lt;em&gt;None of them are good.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't intend to say that you absolutely must leave; being a single parent has its own risks and burdens, and you've noted it would have a negative impact on your partner as well. It's a big choice. But help him grasp that &lt;em&gt;he has a problem&lt;/em&gt;, and that he can and should change his behavior &lt;em&gt;for the good of his child&lt;/em&gt;. Karl suggested Al-Anon in a comment above -- but an alcoholism treatment program is a choice that, in the end, depends on your partner's motivation. You need to focus on &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; choice of whether or not to keep yourself and your child in that home environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-12-16T13:16:51.773" LastActivityDate="2014-12-16T13:16:51.773" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14426" CreationDate="2014-12-12T14:48:05.530" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't delay.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Test his hearing &amp;amp; vision yourself, if it's that bad it should be easy to spot.  And start teaching him toddler sign language immediately, it's useful whether he has a hearing problem or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11866" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T14:48:05.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17951" CreationDate="2014-12-12T15:06:25.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;35 minutes of sitting is WAY too much for a 1 year old, I wouldn't even do that to a 10 year old.  You can't force it.  The way to do it is make the child excited about the potty, read potty books with her, and give rewards, NEVER punishments.  Sitting for 35 minutes is a punishment.  This is a happy time to learn new things about life, not boot camp.  Be calm and pleasant about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with potty training very young if you do it well, the time you put into it will be well worth it when you no longer have to change diapers, and it's better for the environment to have a potty trained 1 year old, rather than continuing to use diapers for another 2 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11866" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T15:06:25.347" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17957" CreationDate="2014-12-12T15:17:51.087" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Alcohol is an escape.  People want to escape when their lives are unhappy.  That unhappiness is usually caused by a degree of depression, and to a lesser extent, environment.  So, there are 3 ways he can improve himself:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;work on the depression - therapy, antidepressants, self help books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;improve the environment - find and reduce what is causing his desire to escape&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;find alternate, less damaging escapes, like video games&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, he needs to know that if he will not improve himself and stop being a drunk, you will escape.  No child deserves to be raised near an angry drunk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11866" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T15:17:51.087" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="591" CreationDate="2014-12-12T16:17:28.397" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have probably already discovered this by now, but the great thing about being taught at home by your mother, is you can introduce formal schooling at the child's own pace.  You don't have to suddenly flip a switch where one day the child is playing at home all day, and the next he is sitting in a classroom all day.  The activities you do now to prepare him for academics, just naturally start morphing into the real thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T16:17:28.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16808" CreationDate="2014-12-12T17:53:22.117" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, since no one has given this answer yet, I will propose it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dog (the licker) knows the command &lt;em&gt;no licking!&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She loves to lick (not obnoxiously, but if I even just compliment her, she wants to lick my hand. She also indicates her desire to play, eat, or go outside with hand licks [plus body language]. And other unknown stuff.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not liking too much licking, I taught her &lt;em&gt;no licking!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't use it all the time, but when I do, she will stop even if my hand is a quarter-inch away. I make sure to praise this obedience (which makes her tongue slip out, heh, but she doesn't make contact.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't/don't want to train your baby, you can always train your dogs. You might just end up training both your dogs and your baby at the same time by saying &lt;em&gt;no licking&lt;/em&gt; while they're both engaged in this interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T17:53:22.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17957" CreationDate="2014-12-12T18:28:34.920" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can really relate to your post, and Erica's response. You really do have my sympathies and best wishes for all involved. My father was an alcoholic (he's passed away) and was both physically and verbally abusive. I loved him very much, and I'm sure, as a child, I would have been very sad at first if he wasn't living at home.**&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to imply that his drinking is either under control or sporadic at the present. You also seem to be saying that you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to leave him, but you're afraid to do so because it might send him on a binge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; want to leave him for your sake, but still want him in your daughter's life, leave him.&lt;/strong&gt; How he reacts to this is not under your control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you don't want to leave him, don't leave him.&lt;/strong&gt; How he reacts to this is not under your control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to leave him &lt;em&gt;but fear for your daughter's relationship with him&lt;/em&gt;, see a counselor to discuss the impact it might have on your daughter, good and bad. How he reacts to this is not under your control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing about his actions is under your control, and you will never &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; him better or worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Karl's suggestion was a very good one. Al-Anon is free and easily accessible. It will put into perspective your role as his spouse and the mother of his child, and your power over his alcoholism. It will help you to establish clear, reasonable boundaries, which helps everyone (including him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, start working on your alternate living arrangements now. Start putting aside cash - even just small amounts - that only you have access to. Make contact with someone at an abuse hotline (I don't know if there is a special hotline for spouses of alcoholics) where they will guide you in a &lt;em&gt;safe&lt;/em&gt; way to leave, and how to stay safe after you've left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that leaving someone is a huge and frightening step, and I know there are many reasons women don't leave their spouses. I understand that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what my life would be like now if my mother had left my father, but I do understand why she didn't leave. I don't blame her for staying, but I do wish she had been braver and tried, if not for herself, then for the sake of my siblings and me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are between a rock and a hard place, you really are. Look carefully and fearlessly (it's only a look after all) at both the rock and the hard place, then decide on which you want to land. In either case, never stop trying to mitigate the effect of her father's abusive behavior on her. Words hurt more than beatings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**&lt;sub&gt;I also would &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; have depended on unreliable sources for my protection, and might not have developed some maladaptive behaviors. As a result of living with him growing up, I had a very mediocre (at best) relationship with him as an adult.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-14T07:18:20.613" LastActivityDate="2014-12-14T07:18:20.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17957" CreationDate="2014-12-12T21:25:08.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I cannot tell you what to do or not do. But I am getting the impression that you want to leave your husband, but fear that this will have a negative effect on your daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is indeed commonly believed that divorce by itself is damaging for children, and therefore parents feel responsible towards their child to stay in troubled marriages, lest they cause them harm by the divorce. This is not only common among laypeople, but it used to be the prevalent opinion among psychology professionals too. Data that children from divorced couples exhibit problematic behavior and social maladjustment seemed to support this theory. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there is one major flaw in these early studies, and the consequences drawn from them: they did not control for other factors beside divorce. When this control is done, the contribution of divorce is seen to be greatly reduced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I remember reading, but sadly cannot find the source: When you compare the children of troubled couples who stay together to the children of troubled couples who divorce, there is a slightly better outcome for the children of divorced troubled couples. So, it's not the divorce that hurts the children, it's the parental conflict. Or, alternatively, divorce hurts them, but living in a conflicted family creates a different, slightly stronger, harm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A review (1) looked at studies which compare children of divorced to non-divorced couples, but controlling for problematic behavior before the divorce. These studies show that the bad behavior at later ages correlates much stronger with bad behavior at early ages, than it correlates with parental divorce. The abstract of this study concludes: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;While children of divorced parents, as a group, have more adjustment problems than do children of never-divorced parents, the view that divorce per se is the major cause of these symptoms must be reconsidered in light of newer research documenting the negative effects of troubled marriages on children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find a description of the article &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jaacap.com/article/S0890-8567%2809%2966294-8/abstract?cc=y&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;on its parent journal site&lt;/a&gt;, but the full text is also available from Researchgate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a personal anecdote too: My parents' marriage is also troubled, although by issues very different from alcohol. When I was in my late teens, my father, told me that he should have divorced my mother long ago, but did not do it because having me obliged him to stay. It was very hurtful to hear that. For the child, it's hard to have a single parent, but it's also hard to think you are the reason why one (or both) of your parents is chained to a partner who is ruining their life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A divorce will have negative consequences on your child, that's sure. But deciding not to do it will also have negative consequences, and you should consider them too. I wish you the best in finding your way and raising your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(1) Kelly, Joan B. &quot;Children's adjustment in conflicted marriage and divorce: A decade review of research.&quot; Journal of the American Academy of Child &amp;amp; Adolescent Psychiatry 39.8 (2000): 963-973.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6775" LastEditorUserId="6775" LastEditDate="2014-12-12T21:38:55.033" LastActivityDate="2014-12-12T21:38:55.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17967" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-12T23:10:38.613" Score="13" ViewCount="2622" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter of 20 left home a week ago when I found out she had been seeing a friend I disapprove of completely. Countless arguments, violence, police, stealing, and lying are some of this girls better traits. My daughter has left home and come out on Facebook as being gay and in a relationship with this girl! I'm so heartbroken!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter never wants to talk to me again because I won't accept this girl... Am I really wrong? I'm lost as to what to do! They now flaunt it all over Facebook and I'm so so upset that she's done this for the second time in three months! She won't speak to any family members, blocked us all... What do I do? I'll never accept this girl, even if that means losing my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11868" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2014-12-16T07:52:39.447" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T20:57:48.083" Title="20 yo daughter left home to live with a &quot;bad&quot; girl - what should I do?" Tags="|behavior|adult-child|friends|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17967" CreationDate="2014-12-13T20:08:21.200" Score="24" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Am I really wrong ??? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The situation you're in is truly heartbreaking. No one but you can decide &lt;em&gt;for yourself&lt;/em&gt; if you're right or wrong. However, other people can share their experiences and beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One question that comes to mind is, would you feel the same exact way if the other person were a male? In other words, &lt;em&gt;if she didn't come out as gay and flaunt it on Facebook, would you still be reacting the same way?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the answer is to any degree &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt;, then I do think you're making a big mistake in not accepting your daughter's homosexuality. If you've been outspoken about disapproving of gays in the past, is it any wonder that she didn't come out to you, and that part of her coming out is associated with a rejection of you? Her flaunting it on FB might be really empowering for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second question is about your boundary setting. Boundaries are necessary for healthy relationships, but there are some boundaries that are not healthy. A boundary that most people can recognize as reasonable and healthy is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You may not physically strike me or verbally abuse me. If you do, I will be forced to protect myself by separating myself from you, and, if you do not seek treatment, ending the relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An unhealthy boundary is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I expect you to know what I'm feeling at all times. If you don't, then you can't be in my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are extremes, of course, but a lot of people don't have good middle-ground boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another bad boundary is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you don't obey me, I can't continue to be in relationship with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an attempt to control a person. You can't control other people. That's an illusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A valid boundary is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;To watch this person abuse you is very painful to me. You cannot ask me to watch this. Therefore I will only see you at times this person is not with you. That can be at my house or in public, or at your house if there is no criminal activity going on and that person is not there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But an equally valid boundary is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you cannot be courteous the person I love, and who is the most important person in my life right now, I cannot expose them to you, and if you cannot refrain from speaking discourteously to me about the person I love, we cannot speak to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boundaries can be painful for the people on either side. If you love someone and value your relationship with them, you will set your boundaries carefully and respectfully, and you will honor them, so that trust can be built, trust being a vital part of a good relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're having difficulty with setting good boundaries, a counselor might be able to help you sort through these difficult issues and help you see where you should draw your boundaries. You may find something that you're much happier with than what you have in place right now. until then, please be aware that words, like arrows, can't be called back once they've been launched. Saying less when you are upset is usually better than saying more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you find a middle ground here where you and your daughter both feel respected and loved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/0007498&quot;&gt;10 Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/Boundaries.html&quot;&gt;Boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/setting-boundaries-parents-after-married-25471.html&quot;&gt;Setting Boundaries With Parents After You Get Married&lt;/a&gt; This might help you to see things from your daughter's perspective.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-13T20:13:34.020" LastActivityDate="2014-12-13T20:13:34.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17971" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-14T00:40:33.233" Score="2" ViewCount="125" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it unusual for a 15 months old to fill her mouth with food? She does this fairly often, especially with food she likes, then she realizes her mouth is too full and spits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tell her to chew and to take a piece at a time, or to bite off chunks, but it doesn't work every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this is relevant, but she has always been a fast eater, she was breastfed and it took her about 10 minutes for a full meal&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9721" LastActivityDate="2014-12-15T15:49:22.263" Title="It it ok for a 15 months old to fill her mouth with food?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2014-12-15T15:56:05.960" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17967" CreationDate="2014-12-14T18:23:00.713" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;My comment was a little harsh, here is how I feel about this situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is an adult. You have absolutely no right to tell her who she can and cannot befriend. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what this girl has or has not done, but I do know parents almost always hold a bias. I remember growing up, my parents wouldn't let me hang out with certain friends because they were a bad influence. The reality was that I was the bad influence, but my mother couldn't see past her bias. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The details don't matter anyways. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What matters is that many relationships at this age are temporary. You are putting her in a position to decide whether she wants to be her own person, or whether she wants to have a family. The obvious choice is independence, so you are essentially casting her out of the family. Yes it was her choice, one that you forced upon her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right and wrong are subjective. I think you were wrong, but my opinion doesn't matter when it comes to your family affairs. While you may not agree with her, you need to understand her position if you don't want to lose her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think she is making bad lifestyle choices now, you better prepare yourself for the choices she makes once her family disowns her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4290" LastActivityDate="2014-12-14T18:23:00.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17967" CreationDate="2014-12-14T21:56:47.727" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I too have a twenty year old daughter. It's not my place to approve or disapprove of her friends. Perhaps that's why I know and get along with her friends, and am more involved in her life. Is my daughter gay? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think so, but she's never been romantically attached to any boy for very long, so it's possible she is still finding out who she is. Either way, her happiness and stability is my number one goal. I'd rather she was gay and happy than miserable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you wish for your daughter? Do you want her to be strong, independent and happy, or do you want her to conform to demands forever. Think about what really matters to you. Think about how wide the gulf between you is already. You've got years of work ahead of you if you want any relationship with your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-12-14T21:56:47.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17976" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-15T15:42:41.807" Score="7" ViewCount="1108" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was big on drinking milk, but now she only drinks juice and water. Is this normal? She eats cheese and plenty of veggies and she is only one year old. I don't have any problems with her drinking water either like most kids so I'm happy about that, just worried about the milk thing. Her doctor did say its normal but I just want to make sure that I am not alone on this. I still have the new mom jitters. Yes after a year lol. Help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11858" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-12-15T16:25:16.350" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T14:56:23.623" Title="Toddler does not like to drink milk" Tags="|toddler|milk|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17971" CreationDate="2014-12-15T15:49:22.263" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is one and she was doing this as well. However I teach her to wait until she is done chewing then to proceed with more by making her say Ahhh after she has put food in her mouth now she has the hang of it. It was a headache at first but I'm glad we have passed this. Key thing you have to make it fun hope this helps a Lil.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11858" LastActivityDate="2014-12-15T15:49:22.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17976" CreationDate="2014-12-15T15:53:56.663" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids have all sorts of eating habits; any one particular difference isn't at all something to be concerned about.  My oldest (3) drinks all the milk he can find, my younger (21 mo) doesn't drink as much of anything and relatively little milk.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one reason milk is something to think about is that milk is the primary source of calcium and vitamin D for some children, and is a significant fat source for many as well (helping to both increase calories and to dissolve fat-soluble vitamins, including vitamin D).  Additionally, children who were primarily breast or formula fed throughout their first year may find it difficult to eat sufficient food early on after one (as compared to children who started eating solids early on).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, just make sure your daughter eats plenty of calories, has some fat with most meals, has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-nutrition/calcium-for-toddlers.aspx&quot;&gt;calcium source&lt;/a&gt; such as dark leafy greens, fortified orange juice, beans, or cereals, and has enough vitamin D (several minutes' exposure to sunlight is a major way to get this, plus vitamins and fortified cereals).  Odds are she eats enough to keep herself growing and active (most kids do, even if it seems they're not); as long as you keep a good selection of nutritious food available she'll do fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't have juice most of the time, so the fortified OJ is out, but fortunately our youngest loves meats and fish (lots of fat soluble vitamins there!), cereals, and breads, as well as broccoli and beans.  He also loves to eat full-fat or 2% yogurt, particularly greek yogurt (higher in protein!), and he gobbles up eggs like there's no tomorrow; so he'll get his vitamins and calcium one way or the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-15T15:53:56.663" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17979" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="17980" CreationDate="2014-12-15T17:10:33.947" Score="3" ViewCount="845" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my girls are vegetarians and are allergic to meat. The daycare center has both veggie and meat options for lunch. They used to allow me to pack lunch for the girls on the days they have a meat lunch. The days they have veggie lunch, my girls can eat at the center.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, now they want to impose that if you have dietary restriction, you need to bring lunch from home even if the center is having veggie lunch that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are claiming it is a Rule. Can they do that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The location of the daycare is Pennsylvania, USA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11879" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-12-15T22:40:39.653" LastActivityDate="2014-12-15T23:03:55.860" Title="Daycare provider says that kids with dietary restrictions cannot eat at the daycare" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17979" CreationDate="2014-12-15T17:46:48.397" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will need to provide more information (e.g. where do you live?) for a definitive answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my hunch is that yes, the daycare center can do that. It might be a local/national government law, it might be a policy that they have put in place at this specific center.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's the latter, it is unlikely this is specifically about your kids, but more likely a general policy dealing with children who have allergies, intolerance, or other dietary restrictions. Consider what they have to do in order to ensure that none of the children get sick at lunch:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;track every child's restrictions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;evaluate the ingredients in the day's meal and determine which child can't eat what food(s)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;carefully watch for cross-contamination (e.g. make sure bread or flour don't come near the meal of a gluten-sensitive child)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;notify parents of what the meal schedule will be&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have alternate meals available if a family is unaware of the schedule or forgets a lunch, or if the planned meal had to change last-minute&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there's potential legal liability if a child &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; get sick when they haven't paid enough attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my &lt;strong&gt;guess&lt;/strong&gt; is that they are allowed to do this, although it's unfortunate they have decided to stop being accomodating. I would, however, point out that you should be paying a bit less if you are supplying your children's food instead of the center.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-12-15T18:27:24.640" LastActivityDate="2014-12-15T18:27:24.640" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17976" CreationDate="2014-12-15T20:27:38.000" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not uncommon, especially if your heritage includes anything other northwestern European. If you have &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; lineage from any of the cultures of the world that weren't historically herders, then there is a chance that her body will stop producing lactase -- the enzyme required to properly digest milk -- and she is becoming lactose intolerant. &lt;a href=&quot;http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/lactose-intolerance&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;About 65% of the global population&lt;/a&gt; stops or greatly reduces lactase production after the first year of life (yep, most of the world is lactose intolerant to some degree). Milk is an unnecessary food in the sense that the nutrients found in it can be found in equal or greater quantities elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her lack of drinking it may be her naturally finding it uncomfortable to consume (digestive upset). Cheese is well tolerated, because the lactose is generally consumed in the process of making it (that's why block cheese has no carbohydrates).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, yes, your doctor is right in that it's a non-issue. If you're concerned over it, simply make sure she has access to and eats plenty of vegetables, nuts, seeds, and sources of protein and fat to obtain the nutrients that she would be getting from milk if she were drinking it. Also, the cheese actually has a higher amount of calcium per serving than milk, so you're &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; not missing out on anything except a little extra (and arguably unnecessary) sugar. For calcium, specifically, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=nutrient&amp;amp;dbid=45&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;there are dozens of sources&lt;/a&gt;, several with &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; calcium than milk per serving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1155" LastEditorUserId="1155" LastEditDate="2014-12-16T14:15:36.600" LastActivityDate="2014-12-16T14:15:36.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17979" CreationDate="2014-12-15T23:03:55.860" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fns.usda.gov/sites/default/files/special_dietary_needs.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;USDA Food Service, Accommodating Children with Special Dietary Needs in the School Nutrition Program&lt;/a&gt;, while schools are required to make accommodations per the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) and the IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Generally, children with food allergies or intolerances do not have a&#xA;  disability as defined under either Section 504 of the Rehabilitation&#xA;  Act or Part B of IDEA, and the school food service may, but is not&#xA;  required to, make food substitutions for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;However, when in the licensed physician's assessment, food allergies&#xA;  may result in severe, life-threatening (anaphylactic) reactions, the&#xA;  child's condition would meet the definition of &quot;disability,&quot; and the&#xA;  substitutions prescribed by the licensed physician must be made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your particular provider may not be explicitly bound by these regulations (depending on if they participate in an USDA program or not), but likely the same basic guidelines do have some impact - the ADA would at minimum apply.  Essentially, they probably do not have to make an accommodation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend that if you are concerned about this, you look into your state's requirements in more detail; someone at the Pennsylvania DHS may be of some assistance.  The Pennsylvania Code (law) related to this can be found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pacode.com/secure/data/055/chapter3270/chap3270toc.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, search for &quot;Food&quot;.  It's not very specific, other than requiring allergen lists be kept, unfortunately, so likely there are no regulations that will help you here.  My state (Illinois) is a bit more specific in &lt;a href=&quot;http://nrckids.org/default/assets/File/StateRegs/IL/il_407.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;their regulations&lt;/a&gt;, but they still would permit the daycare to do this (although the wording seems to allow for some argument here, as the daycare must prove that it would cause undue hardship for them to meet these regulations).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would guess that the particular reason for this change was that the daycare center failed an audit (either internal or external) in regards to its correct separation of utensils when preparing food.  For example, with meat-allergic children in the center they likely would need to keep two separate sets of dishes - one for cooking meat, one for cooking things the meat-allergic children could eat.  Just washing a dish may not be sufficient to prevent allergens from remaining.  It's likely that they were not doing this before, and while your child's meat allergy may not be so severe for this to be a concern, laws and regulations tend to assume worst case scenarios.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, it's not surprising to me that they'd require you to bring all meals (including vegetarian) into the center.  I would certainly recommend trying to negotiate a discount for this, and if they're unwilling (or it's too much of a burden to you to bring your own food) consider finding another center that is more capable of serving your children's needs; larger centers may be more able to handle the specific needs of your children due to volume, or even smaller (at-home type) centers may be more willing to change as well.  You also may be able to find a vegetarian-friendly center, as that is becoming more common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-15T23:03:55.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17984" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-15T23:59:39.083" Score="5" ViewCount="223" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 21-month-old grandson lives with his Daddy, Nana, and me, Grandma. In the last 3 weeks he has started having temper tantrums. We used to put him in his Pack-n-Play, or crib for time out, but he gets so angry he has taught himself how to climb up the rails of the crib. He will go headfirst if he has to (of course, he has 3 sets of eyes on him, so that has not happened). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we don't know where or how to put him in bed, or a safe place where he doesn't hurt himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11880" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-20T12:37:34.743" LastActivityDate="2019-06-20T12:37:34.743" Title="How to keep a 21-month-old safe, who has learned how to climb out of his crib when angry?" Tags="|toddler|safety|tantrums|crib|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="17985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17984" CreationDate="2014-12-16T00:58:51.733" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might have to abandon the crib/Pack&amp;amp;Play as a time-out spot for now, and pick a corner of the house or a room with, perhaps, a few cushions or other soft things he can sit on/amongst. There he can have his meltdown safely until he cools off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course the downside of this is that someone needs to stand guard over him and make sure he doesn't leave that spot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discipline isn't convenient. Some people don't use time-outs (I did. It was great for our family.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many books available that address other means of teaching children good behavior. As to time-outs, my go-to book is 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-16T00:58:51.733" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17984" CreationDate="2014-12-16T01:03:05.733" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally think 21 months is time for a bed he can get in and out of himself  - my parenting style leans towards independent kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't help with the tantrums though. I have 2 suggestions you can consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask him to go sit somewhere specific, where you can sit next to him. We used a stair, and if he didn't stay put we would go sit with him. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask him to stay in his room, if he might be better off trying to cool down alone. Some kids are like that, though it seems like that makes him more angry. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I know this is not really what you asked for, but consider natural consequences rather than timeouts. I know some parents swear by timeouts, but they are not super effective on our kid, and if you grandson gets super angry it may not be the calm down method it is supposed to be. (Edit to add: Or your approach to timeouts might not be optimal, @anongoodnurse's answer recommends a book that might help)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2014-12-16T18:56:38.420" LastActivityDate="2014-12-16T18:56:38.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17976" CreationDate="2014-12-16T09:31:43.933" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will post a different opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need calcium and Vit.D, and milk is a rich source of both (the Vit.D is added). Kids between 1 and 2 years old should have whole milk to help provide the dietary fats they need for normal growth and brain development. If a child that young stopped drinking milk, it would concern me a bit, because it's harder to get calcium in the recommended quantities otherwise. Cheese is helpful, but it constipates a lot of people. Kids don't like spinach, kale, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The body uses bone tissue as a reservoir for and source of calcium. The body must maintain constant concentrations of calcium in blood, muscle, and intercellular fluids. If there is inadequate calcium in the diet, the bones will provide the calcium, and building strong bones might be a problem, especially for females, who tend to have less bone mass than males. The result can be osteoporosis in older women. Calcium and exercise when bones are actively growing and storing calcium is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's how much calcium and vitamin D you need every day, according to the Institute of Medicine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Calcium&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children 1-3 years old: 700 milligrams (mg)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Children 4-8 years old: 1,000 mg&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Children 9-18 years old:  1,300 mg&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Adults 19-50: 1,000 mg&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Women 51 to 70: 1,200 mg&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Men 51 to 70: 1,000 mg  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vitamin D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Age 1-70: 600 IU&#xA;  Age 71 and older: 800 IU&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a concern about lactose intolerance, low-lactose and lactose-free dairy products are available, as are lactase drops that can be added to dairy products.  Hard, aged cheeses (such as cheddar) are lower in lactose, and yogurts that contain active cultures are easier to digest and much less likely to cause lactose problems. Perhaps you can add regular yogurt to her diet. A bioyogurt might be an even better choice, seeing all that has been learned about establishing a good gut flora recently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the second reference, you may see how much cheese and/or other sources are needed to replace 8 ounces of milk. It's not that easy. It's fine if you can do it, but I wanted to offer another side of this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Calcium-HealthProfessional/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Calcium Factsheet&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/feeding/calcium.html#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Calcium and Your Child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-16T09:31:43.933" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17984" CreationDate="2014-12-16T11:55:39.470" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been doing some reading up on tantrums recently as my LO is a similar age and started to have them too.  I found this link quite helpful  - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_tantrums_11569.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_tantrums_11569.bc&lt;/a&gt;  as it helps you to see things from their point of view as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding timeouts it suggests to make the timeout last for &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;about one minute per year of his age&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I have started trying to take on some of the advice and now when my daughter has a tantrum, I try to explain to her my reasons for not letting her have chocolate (for example) calmly and name the feelings she's having &quot;I know you are angry because of xyz&quot; and sit with her until she's calmed down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As there's three of you maybe you could take it in turns to stay with you grandson while he is having a full blown tantrum.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-12-16T11:55:39.470" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17984" CreationDate="2014-12-16T16:38:08.650" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of things here stand out to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, in general, crib time outs aren't a good idea.  They are convenient, but they also create negative associations with the place of sleep, which causes problems later on; around this time children often go through a phase where they don't like to go to bed (as they're starting to be aware of the ability not to!) and it can be extremely difficult to get them asleep as it is, not to mention if they associate their bedroom and crib with time outs.  A neutral space is better, if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, time outs in general aren't highly recommended until three.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Time_Outs_How_Make/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; recommends using them, but not having them be solitary; instead, have a minute or two of calm down time with mommy.  We found teaching our son deep breathing helped some - he would repeat &quot;calm&quot; in a breathy voice and it would often calm him down.  Two year olds (or almost 2 year olds, as yours is) aren't ready to follow rules yet, so traditional 'stay over there until the timer goes off' won't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, get a regular bed - whether that means converting your crib to a toddler bed using a short half rail, or buying a fun race car bed, or just a small bed that's lower to the ground - &lt;strong&gt;now&lt;/strong&gt;.  If he can climb out when he's mad, he can also do so when he wakes up in the middle of the night, and he very well could hurt himself.  21 months is somewhat late in my opinion to be doing this for an average to above average sized child - for my two boys, both of whom are 85th-90th percentile, we converted at 18 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, something that every parent has to learn at this age is how to spot and avert temper tantrums when you can (you'll learn how, I promise) and help him learn to stop them himself.  This helps reduce the frequency, and where you can, teach him skills (like deep breathing, using his words, etc.) to control his frustration - and at this age it is mostly frustration, not anger. Time outs are often not helpful for these, because he doesn't understand why he can't have a chocolate, or why you don't understand which milk glass he wants, or why he has to go to bed.  If the time out isn't calming, then it's ineffective - it just frustrates him a more, likely.  Focus on using a calm voice and talking to him about why he needs do or not do something, wait out the tantrum, and try to let him develop the skills for handling frustration, rather than trying to stop the tantrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-16T16:38:08.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17993" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-17T08:19:11.083" Score="8" ViewCount="2550" Body="&lt;h3&gt;A Bit About Myself&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am in my late 20's, and I am a fairly-new-mom. &#xA;I have been married to my daughter's father for about a year now, but I have been around kids my entire life. I have always had many children in my family, I'm a godparent and I'm involved in the lives of all my friends' kids. I began working with young-children when I was in my early teens (babysitting, tutoring, etc.) and still do so to this day; in fact, I've always been described as having a &lt;em&gt;type&lt;/em&gt; of &quot;Snow White-effect&quot; - in reference to the mutual love I share with all children (and animals). &lt;strong&gt;However,&lt;/strong&gt; I am &lt;em&gt;just now&lt;/em&gt; realizing that all of the above means &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;SQUAT&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; when it comes to being a parent/mother! :-/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;A little family history&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter's birth-mother had began using drugs approx. a year after she gave birth; which caused her and my husband to split. They were never married so there was only a custody battle, in which he won, and shortly after she left the state. Then, around the beginning of last year, she returned pregnant and sober. My husband had been allowing our daughter to remain in the lives of her mother's family, and because of how much they were helping while he was at work, he continued to do so knowing this now meant &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; would be in the picture. Unfortunately, soon after she gave birth to her second child, she sadly began using drugs again; so this time &lt;em&gt;WE&lt;/em&gt; left the state!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;The present issue(s)&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was only this past July that we moved, and so this has been a &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; big transition for my daughter; in addition to being in a new environment, home, just starting school/kindergarten and being away from the only people she knows, &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; she is missing her birth-mother!&#xA;:( &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only time I work is some weekdays, after I drop my daughter at school and until I pick her up; so, minus that time my daughter and I spend almost all of our time together, and I feel as though I'm practically a stay-at-home-mother; since she doesn't go to aftercare. I felt this would be the most ideal situation so that I could work closely with her on school and implementing new structure, and an overall &lt;em&gt;new&lt;/em&gt; lifestyle for my whole family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, just lately my daughter has become very defiant, distracted, and troubled! This is at both home and now school too, where she just doesn't seem to care about anything but other kids and doing every thing she knows she's not supposed to! I have read, researched and studied &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; on &lt;strong&gt;everything&lt;/strong&gt; [discipline, keys to successful and happy children, etc.] NO MATTER WHAT I try to do differently not the slightest bit of &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; changes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She talks about her mom as if they did everything together, and we know that they did not. Then admitted to me that she makes up a lot of things or refers them to her mother (such as &quot;oh, I have that at my moms&quot; or &quot;my mom told me that&quot;), but she still does it. She has even destroyed property (things that cannot be fixed - like walls - while using things that she &lt;strong&gt;knows&lt;/strong&gt; very well cause irreversible damage) and then admitted to her grandmother that she did it because she misses her mom!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously we knew this would be a tough adjustment for her and she could probably benefit greatly from counseling, but I still can't help thinking and feeling like there's something &lt;strong&gt;I'M&lt;/strong&gt; doing wrong or that she's missing and we can't provide! Like, I can implement all of the &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; things that the &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; books and research could possibly teach, &lt;strong&gt;tons of love&lt;/strong&gt;, in addition to all that I've already known from my history with children her age &lt;em&gt;(plus the fact that I am a woman)&lt;/em&gt;, but &lt;strong&gt;still&lt;/strong&gt; nothing will help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it the &quot;child-mother&quot; factor that she's missing that's causing &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; of her behavioral issues? Am I not giving her the same kind of love/feeling/enough love? Will this pass without causing her long-term irreversible-damage? I feel &lt;strong&gt;so&lt;/strong&gt; helpless and so much pain &lt;em&gt;for her&lt;/em&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11632" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-10T13:10:01.907" LastActivityDate="2019-03-10T13:10:01.907" Title="How to be a step-mom to a troubled (or hurt) 5-year-old?" Tags="|primary-schooler|step-parents|emotional-well-being|separation|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="17994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6571" CreationDate="2014-12-17T11:43:25.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Poor little thing! Have you tried some baby massage techniques &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/16670/11605&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/16670/11605&lt;/a&gt;, these can help to get things moving and be soothing for the child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, agree with the prune juice and other high fibre fruit and veg as well as plenty of water.  Beans/Legumes/Lentils are also a good source of fibre. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-12-17T11:43:25.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17993" CreationDate="2014-12-17T12:16:46.167" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;While my circumstances differ from yours, when I saw the age, my first thought was &quot;oh no, it's the dreaded (and widely unknown) Five-Year-Old Fever!&quot;  I had a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11743/five-year-old-fever-whats-the-cure&quot;&gt;question&lt;/a&gt; on here last year about what my daughter's teacher named the Five-Year-Old Fever:  LOTS of defiance, lying, tantrums, the works.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took a while, but the stage eventually passed.  And it honestly seems that nothing we did, besides constantly letting her know that we love her and nothing can change that, made a hill of beans' difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, your circumstances are complicated by the missing parent.  (And btw, good for y'all for making your daughter's physical and emotional well-being tops!)  As LauraJ suggested, if you can get some counseling to help her complete this transition, that would be ideal.  If you can get some for YOURSELF, to help you offload this undeserved guilt you're carrying around (based on what you've told us, you're not doing anything wrong), that might also help: a calmer, more centered parent certainly won't hurt things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my position, you're already doing the best thing you personally can: loving your daughter, being there for her and listening to her concerns.  FWIW, my daughter (who is now past this stage, thank FSM), still repeats back to me what I'd tell her in the midst of her tantrums: no matter what she does, no matter what she says, nothing can make me not love her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-12-17T12:16:46.167" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17996" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-17T13:28:21.147" Score="4" ViewCount="253" Body="&lt;p&gt;Women are advised to try to physically relax during labor, while the cervix is still dilating. That is, to &quot;breath away&quot; the contractions - the puffing thing. Why? Pain is (in my personal experience) easier dealth with with clenched teeth. Actually, i only survived the worst part of giving birth to my son, with my back arched and my hamstrings tightened to the max, on each contraction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7062" LastEditorUserId="7062" LastEditDate="2014-12-18T12:39:31.423" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T12:39:31.423" Title="Why are women taught to relax as much as possible during childbirth?" Tags="|birth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17996" CreationDate="2014-12-17T15:47:50.280" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I think this is a very complicated subject with no one good answer - both because each woman will have a different experience and each woman will benefit from different guidance - there is one answer to the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &amp;quot;relax&amp;quot; instruction is not in relation to pain management specifically, but rather in order to help allow the cervix to dilate.  Being too &amp;quot;tight&amp;quot; can cause a delay in dilation - as can being too relaxed (the latter seemed to be the case for my wife in her first delivery, where she spent a few hours in the shower and that seemed to stop the dilation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is supported in several online resources, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a544495/relaxation-in-labour&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Babycentre.co.uk&lt;/a&gt;.  They list that while stressed, the following occur:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's natural to feel a bit anxious. But if you feel very stressed it&#xA;can interfere with your labour. Stress and anxiety make your body&#xA;produce fight-or-flight hormones, such as adrenaline. These stress&#xA;hormones may:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reduce blood flow to your uterus (womb).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Suppress the release of oxytocin.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Slow your first stage of labour down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pain management is a separate issue, although obviously also very important, and to some degree will help reduce your stress on its own - so if clenching your teeth helps you deal with pain, I say go for it.  Much of this is really intended for the first stage and early second stage, in any event; by the time you're in transition, I doubt there's much you can do to truly relax, but you're also hopefully progressing smoothly at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-12-17T15:47:50.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="17998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17996" CreationDate="2014-12-17T15:53:19.700" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Note: Not a doctor, so this isn't medical advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider what's basically going on; your body is attempting to build up a rhythm that will cause your child to exit in a calm and controlled fashion. The ideal process would be muscles smoothly grasping and shoving the baby down and out in one smooth motion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously the issue here is that, because the natural process of childbirth includes squeezing a 10-pound baby through a channel barely adequate for the process that's never been exercised this way before, it hurts like hell, so the other natural response is to tense up, in order to prevent any changes to the current &quot;manageable&quot; state of your body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately for all involved, you don't &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to prevent changes. You want the situation to change from &quot;baby in transit&quot; to &quot;baby looking out at the world wondering what the dickens just happened&quot;. Tensing the muscles that are pushing the baby out utterly screws up the whole &quot;grasp and push&quot; plan. Gritting your teeth and thus stopping pulling oxygen in causes your muscles to run out of oxygen and stop doing what they were meant to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you've got two competing natural instincts; &quot;stop the muscles moving&quot; and &quot;smooth flexing of the muscles&quot;. &lt;strong&gt;The doctor's advice is to attempt to support the second, because that's the only way this process is going to end.&lt;/strong&gt; Also, if you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do it smoothly, the pain will be less, so the muscles will tense less, so there'll be less pain and the whole thing will go more smoothly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the advice is basically sound. Obviously, this would be easier done if you got to practice beforehand, weren't in a completely new situation, and had any respect for the idiots around you trying to explain what to do while you are ACTUALLY IN SOME SERIOUS PAIN RIGHT NOW GO AWAY THANK YOU. This is why other advice includes Kegel Exercises and other methods of training your baby shoving muscles to cope with today's ridiculous experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of this is pretty general advice you get in every antenatal if you start asking the right person why you have to do these silly things, but there are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.netmums.com/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/what-happens-in-labour/relaxation-breathing-techniques-for-labour-birth&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;plenty of&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/giving-birth/pain-relief/manage-labor-pain/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;references that&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a544495/relaxation-in-labour&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;back this up.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2014-12-18T09:40:35.750" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T09:40:35.750" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17993" CreationDate="2014-12-17T23:31:29.487" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Is it the &quot;child-mother&quot; factor that she's missing that's causing ALL of her behavioral issues?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one knows the answer to this question. It seems reasonable to assume the separation from mom is a contributor -- but then again, many 5-year-olds have behavior issues, not just children of separated parents, suggesting there might be more to your stepdaughter's behavior than separation from her mom. Be wary of anyone who tells you with certainty that &quot;she's acting out because of ____.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Am I not giving her the same kind of love/feeling/enough love??&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is unrealistic to expect yourself to provide the same kind of love or feeling as her mother. You can be a great stepmom (and it sounds like you are) but even a 100% perfect stepmom is still not mom. Perhaps the key word here is &lt;strong&gt;acceptance&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Will this pass without causing her long-term irreversible-damage???&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is unknowable, also. Even whether &quot;long-term irreversible damage&quot; is possible could be debated. But several studies suggest that children tend to live up to high expectations -- or down to low expectations. So you must stop looking at your stepdaughter as someone at risk of &quot;long-term irreversible damage&quot; or otherwise potentially flawed. Instead, adjust your perspective so you see her as a healthy child who will grow into a happy, well-adjusted human being. This might be difficult -- essentially, you might have to brainwash yourself -- but it will be worth it. &lt;strong&gt;Your expectations, along with the examples you set as you live your life day to day, are probably your two most impactful tools to help your stepdaughter.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11286" LastEditorUserId="11286" LastEditDate="2014-12-18T00:15:56.370" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T00:15:56.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17993" CreationDate="2014-12-18T01:32:05.210" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mothering/parenting is difficult under the best of circumstances. This is not one of the better circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is something I don't understand, and that is why you moved to get away from your stepdaughter's mother/mother's family. Was the mother a dangerous person/abusive toward her daughter once she went back on drugs? You stated that her mother's family was welcome in your lives because they were helpful. What changed once the mother relapsed? Why was it in your daughter's best interests to remove her from her familiar surroundings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't about you, it's about your step-daughter and her desire for her mother. You might be the best of step-moms, and she will still want her mother to love her. That's my guess as to why she pretends her mother is better to her than she really has been.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does sound, from your description, that she's acting out (especially as she told her grandmother that she does things because she misses her mom). Maybe it would help her to try to enlarge her emotional vocabulary, and to let her express herself (appropriately) without fear of consequences (including hurting you). If you blame yourself for her valid feelings, she will not feel like she can be honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have indeed read, researched and studied everything on everything, and no matter what you try, not the slightest bit of anything changes, then it's time for a therapist, not more advice. She needs a therapist, someone who can explore her feelings objectively. safely, and professionally. I don't know how your husband is handling this, but it sounds like you can benefit from a therapist's ministrations as well. You are placing an unreasonable burden on yourself. It would help both of you to understand what you can and can't do for your daughter, and how to do what you can do to help. You have said it yourself: &quot;I can implement all of the best things... but STILL nothing will help!&quot; Time now for you to have the help of a professional opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last little bit of advice: walls are not irreparable. Many good parents before you have needed to learn how to repair dents and holes in walls, and many more to come will do so. It is so much easier than repairing dents and holes in children. I wish all it took to bring children back to near perfect condition was some mesh, spackle, sandpaper and paint. But it's not that easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please get some professional help that can be tailored specifically to the problems your step-daughter is experiencing, and how you can reasonably help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T01:32:05.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17996" CreationDate="2014-12-18T02:10:32.997" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Child labor is already a physically-intensive activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intensely clenching muscles furthers the body's exhaustion. Since hamstring, quadricep, and back muscles are some of the largest muscles in the body, use of them can be more exhausting. Exhaustion can increase irritability, agitation, discomfort, among other undesirable effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, strongly clenching your muscles in this physically agitated state may increase your chance of skeletomuscular injury, such as pulling a muscle are hurting your back. If you happen to have an epidural, back-clenching could cause other complications with the insertion site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using your muscles this way, or clenching them, can &lt;em&gt;potentially&lt;/em&gt; affect your respiration, heart rate and blood pressure adversely (considering your body is already attempting to deliver). Having controlled oxygen levels and bloodpressure is important both for the mother's health and the baby's health during delivery. Unfortunately, I don't have specific sources available for this conjecture, because there aren't studies on muscle contraction specifically during labor. However, sustained muscle contraction like flexing your legs is essentially isometric exercise, and you can make assumptions from that point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also pain theories out there, such as the pain-fear-tension triangle theory, that would advise tension increases pain which increases fear which increases tension and so on. While this appears not to apply to you, it appears to be a very popular theory (at least in western medicine and the midwife/homebirth type of communities). The physiology behind this would be that your contraction of muscles in or around abdomen impair the ability of the uterine muscles to contract. This, then, would impair the labor process and/or increase pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other theories suggest the tension has an affect on different hormone levels. For instance, if your stress hormones are increasing then they are directly impairing the ability of the necessary oxytocin hormone. Joe's answer covers this well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe another reason they ask mothers to relax is to make them easier to manage. Not just so they can tell the mother what to do, but so the mother is in a state where she can more clearly and accurately assess and communicate her needs. It may also help the medical/delivery professionals differentiate between stress-related symptoms and symptoms indicative of medical complications. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T02:10:32.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18005" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18006" CreationDate="2014-12-18T06:54:24.043" Score="14" ViewCount="41045" Body="&lt;p&gt;This has been going on a little while and the health visitor says its normal but we are a bit concerned about the force our child is using when he pulls at his penis: He really yanks it and it looks like it could do some damage...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Particularly when he stretches both as far as he can!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the other day his nail cut him on his scrotum while I was changing him so I was even more concerned about bacteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I encourage him to stop doing it so forcefully without teaching him it's wrong to explore his body?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11361" LastEditorUserId="32330" LastEditDate="2018-06-20T15:10:39.097" LastActivityDate="2018-11-09T17:58:40.457" Title="What to do about 1 year old boy who keeps pulling hard at his penis and scrotum?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|sexual-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18005" CreationDate="2014-12-18T12:17:28.920" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ultimately it's self-limiting. As he gets older it'll hurt more (partly as he'll be stronger) and he will stop. Our boys all did this and we didn't discourage it but put boundaries around it -- &quot;You can do that in the bath, but not out the bath&quot;. And then of course as they got older (3-5) and they went through another phase of doing it we made the rule that if they do do it they need to wash their hands afterwards, which is not a punishment as such but more of an inconvenience and a disruption. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boundaries are the first step to helping him out of the habit of it because like many things including energetic games, shouting, dancing, reading, running, throwing etc there are very natural boundaries around where you can and can't do them. Not a punishment, just learning how to do life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T12:17:28.920" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18007" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-18T14:55:50.547" Score="11" ViewCount="6305" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is currently 10. I have always tried to encourage her to not be overly concerned with other people's opinion of her, and I &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; that this has largely succeeded. Like any kid, she gets teased (for being skinny, for having brown hair, for clothing choices). While she doesn't &lt;em&gt;enjoy&lt;/em&gt; it and complains about such behavior, she also places the blame on the teaser -- &quot;this person is being ridiculous,&quot; rather than &quot;I need to change what I'm doing or who I am&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I want her to be &lt;em&gt;aware&lt;/em&gt; of the impression she might be giving -- for example, if she decides not to brush her hair for three days, somebody's likely to conclude she's lazy or sloppy. First impressions matter if she wants to ask some cute guy to the school dance, for example, or in job interviews, or in the classroom when you're trying explain why your homework is late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find it a challenge to balance ideas like &quot;please comb your hair, it looks like a disaster&quot; or &quot;you are NOT going out of the house wearing THAT,&quot; against &quot;I want you to develop your own sense of style and love your body and appearance.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some useful strategies to encourage a pre-teen or teenager to take some care with their personal appearance, while simultaneously not making her feel like she's constantly being judged and critiqued?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-01T16:31:50.547" LastActivityDate="2018-11-01T16:31:50.547" Title="Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearance" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|clothes|self-esteem|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17976" CreationDate="2014-12-18T14:56:23.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could always try to get some fresh milk. This may require an expedition into local farms if you are not familiar with the farming scene, but fresh cow or goat milk straight from the udder is always a welcome treat. The cream usually rises immediately, so it gets collected right away, but then you just dip a cup in the bucket and get some pure white goodness. Just don’t dip twice and make sure the cup is sterile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11891" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T14:56:23.623" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18007" CreationDate="2014-12-18T16:17:52.823" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you can keep it focused on the image she wants to portray.  Ask her:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are you saying about yourself with that look?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If what she thinks she's putting out there matches what other people think, and she's okay with that, so be it.  If her perceptions are off, you can gently correct them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;That outfit makes you feel comfortable, but that boy you like might think it means you aren't interested enough in him to make an effort.  Are you okay with that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on giving her an accurate as possible picture of how others will perceive her choices, and then try to support her decision either way.  That being said, I think you might be worrying a little prematurely.  Puberty has a way of working these things out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T16:17:52.823" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4344" CreationDate="2014-12-18T18:08:35.150" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this post is old but the topic is always current! ;) I was having the same problem with my son, and we also took the approach of designating only certain items to climb. I agree that our little humans can, and do, understand that certain items are off limits for climbing, if you consistently offer reminders. ;) We decided to go with an indoor climber, and our house is small. It has been working out perfectly! The message has been that he is supposed to climb his climber, and he has permission to push it up to the couch for further exploration, but that is it! He respects this rule very well, although he still tests the waters from time to time, as they all do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11892" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2014-12-18T18:23:39.327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-18T18:23:39.327" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18011" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-19T03:22:57.833" Score="10" ViewCount="5517" Body="&lt;p&gt;My stepdaughter came out to us that shes gay. She has been talking to her girlfriend who lives in California and asked her dad if he could take her. I said, &quot;No she's only 14 yrs old. Would you take her if it was a boy?&quot; That's along way to go and a lot of money for her to meet her 1st crush... any thoughts please!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11894" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-12-19T04:45:45.843" LastActivityDate="2014-12-20T04:38:06.280" Title="My stepdaughter wants to go to California to see her girlfriend" Tags="|teen|dating|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18011" CreationDate="2014-12-19T04:52:28.917" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not focusing on the sexuality and asking the father's view regardless of gender is great.  This is an opinion question, though, so may be closed as too broad.  That said, I'd suggest that it really ought not to have anything to do with the distance, cost, or 1&lt;sup&gt;st&lt;/sup&gt; crush status, but the fact that because of her age, her safety is an issue.  Also, you do not mention the age of the other person, but let's assume roughly the same age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question then becomes how to explain it to her.  I suggest the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We understand that you care for her a lot and want to see her — it's great that you want to meet.  Meeting her, though, requires travel and other considerations for your safety that at this time make it so that we have to say, &amp;quot;No.&amp;quot;  If you and she can figure out a way to meet where you are safe and our concerns are met, then you can meet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chat with her and when you come up with an idea that works out, let us know and we'll consider that.  We're sure that she cares about you and wants to ensure your safety, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the conversation progresses and if you determine a sexual interest, then setting boundaries against that is what I, as a father of a 15yo girl, would recommend.  Just be advised that &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; you set those boundaries is more important than &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; you set the boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T04:52:28.917" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18011" CreationDate="2014-12-19T06:07:40.533" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many unanswered questions here which do matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I presume this is not someone with whom she had a relationship, but someone she has never met in person (if I'm wrong, please correct me). Did she first make contact with the friend online? What is your general policy about a 14 year old meeting up with someone she met online?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age do you (as parents) think your daughter should start dating? Kids find ways around rules, but dating at 14 is not permitted by many parents. Dating &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; asking for airfare to do so strikes me as unrealistic on your daughter's part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although her sexuality should have nothing to do with this decision, it's possible that your daughter thinks the available pool of romantic possibilities is limited by her homosexuality, and it probably is. At 14, though, romance should still be some years away. In this age of Skype/Facetime/etc., she &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; see her friend, but I would think she should be concentrating at least as much on friendships (and school/other activities).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are things that should have been discussed with her a long time ago, but better now than not at all, although now it will unfortunately appear to be &lt;em&gt;interfering&lt;/em&gt; rather than simply setting up principles because she has someone in mind. Still, as parents, you need to set the limits that you all can live with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-19T09:41:25.770" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T09:41:25.770" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18011" CreationDate="2014-12-19T09:59:40.877" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some thoughts that might help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would you be ok with it if she was not a crush, but a normal good friend that she has not seen for a long time?! If so than her request is not unreasonable. (If not, it may still not be unreasonable)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is california less safe than your own environment?! If an adult accompanies her for the trip the travel should be a non issue from a safety point of view. And if she knows one of you travelled all the way with her to meet her friend there should be a good chance that she acts responsibly when she is there. (At least as much as when she is sneaking around your hometown).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Travel time/cost is a serious issue in relationships. Assuming things go well once they meet, how would they sustain their relationship in the future?! This is something you can tell them, but rather than pushing this point too hard it may be better to let them experience it somehow. (Child should sponsor part of the travel cost?! / We can go there, but it will be on our next family vacation)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all it may not be bad to let them meet, especially if you can do it in a cost efficient way (combining the trip with a regular vacation?!). But do talk about future plans as this might make her realize that it's not going to be easy even if they get to meet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I do come from an environment where it is common to see kids 'dating' at age 14.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11898" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T09:59:40.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7427" CreationDate="2014-12-19T10:21:30.540" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother-in-law is from Mauritius, his wife from Poland and they live in UK. His girls speak fluently Polish and English and understand some French. I've never heard them &quot;refusing&quot; to speak any of the parents' language. The eldest sometimes interpret for polish school mates. She looks quite happy to know more than one language, so your worries maybe for nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11222" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T10:21:30.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18007" CreationDate="2014-12-19T13:36:39.360" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can have it both ways. Teach that someone should have a style that is their own, because unlike fashion style is timeless, but that our appearance sends messages to other people so it is important to carefully consider what that style is. As a boy, I wish I had this advice while I was younger. Even though my family grew up fairly poor and shopped second hand mostly, had I made wiser choices (e.g. not going with t-shirts and jeans, general 'slop wear') and instead trying to build a more dappered style that closely reflected myself I would have felt more confident and portrayed that confidence, versus camo jackets, t-shirts and jeans, and the such that although was crazy comfortable and utilitarian, basically made me a loner my entire high school career.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're on the right track, but I would avoid using discussion examples such as boys, and focus on what she wants to tell the world, and self-confidence. When you like how you look, and you look good, you feel good about yourself. I myself have gone from t-shirts and jeans that are common in the IT world to a much more professional look, and as a result feel much more confident. That confidence means I get more challenging assignments and sought out for when people need help, and it comes primarily from broadcasting that to the world through my style. By making the discussion about what she wants to tell the world and helping her carefully craft it, not only will the opinions of others not matter, she'll make the impression she wants to make in the end. Now that doesn't mean you can't nudge her away from disastrous style choices like not brushing her hair for 3-days, wearing a pink tutu at all times, or generally looking like she got dressed by swimming in a pile of random clothes until she was covered. That comes back to the questions of &quot;what do you think this says about you? Does it look confident and organized?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11904" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T13:36:39.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18005" CreationDate="2014-12-19T14:10:37.207" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;&quot;...the health visitor says its normal...&quot;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then why disbelieve him? You think you'll get more authoritative answers here? :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really though, &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; little boy on the planet does this, and he'll be doing it for a while. If he starts pulling so hard it actually hurts him and makes him cry/bleed, then he might have some mental compulsion/anxiety issues about it; but if it gets to this point it will be &lt;strong&gt;very obvious&lt;/strong&gt; and you shouldn't worry about missing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T14:10:37.207" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18011" CreationDate="2014-12-19T14:56:09.807" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Literally had exactly this situation myself at her age, excepting the sexuality component, which doesn't seem like an issue here (&lt;em&gt;but it is critical to be clear that it is not an issue here, when communicating any decision to her!&lt;/em&gt;). Not a parent, but my parents' decision on this point was one that I found fair at the time, so she may as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything nearby where this girl lives that would make a decent family vacation? San Francisco is a great place, Disneyland is in California, San Diego has one of the best zoos in the world, etc. (Californians: forgive my ignorance of the great things to visit in California; I know there are more.) People go to these places on vacation all the time; if the girl lives near any of these places, suggest that perhaps an upcoming family vacation could head over there, which could include an opportunity to meet this girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes a good-faith effort to accommodate your step-daughter's request, while maintaining perspective and acknowledging the reality that this is an expensive, time-consuming trip. You're not going to head to California lightly, but if it's a place she'd like to visit, you can make it clear that you're pro-actively including that in your plans. It also ensures that any first meeting takes place in a safe location, with supervision, which covers any concerns about the safety of meeting someone on the Internet, as well as any concerns about possible sexual activity between the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the girl doesn't live anywhere interesting, well, her family can (and should) meet you halfway. Presumably they don't want their daughter meeting people from the Internet alone, either. And interesting destinations within California are probably an easier trip for their family than yours. (And if there are any interesting destinations near your home, that would also be something they might do.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other hand here is, obviously, the next family vacation may not be for a fairly long time. These new plans wouldn't override any existing plans for a vacation; you're not going to cancel existing reservations or anything, so the trip to California might not even be the &lt;em&gt;next&lt;/em&gt; vacation, but the one after that. That's on her. She's not going to &lt;em&gt;move&lt;/em&gt; to California no matter what she does, so she's looking at long-distance relationship even after meeting this girl. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking from &lt;em&gt;lots&lt;/em&gt; of experience, long-distance relationships are hard, but not impossible. If she manages to maintain this one, this isn't a &quot;first crush&quot; and deserves to be taken more seriously than that by you. If she still wants to visit this girl the next time you plan a family vacation, you &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; include that in your plans. But this approach gives the relationship time to see how serious it is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, don't question that the relationship will last &lt;em&gt;to her&lt;/em&gt; (also speaking from experience, a &quot;first crush&quot; almost always seems like &quot;fairy tale perfect-match love&quot; to a teenager), but if she balks at how long we're talking about, implying that you were &lt;em&gt;assuming&lt;/em&gt; her relationship could handle that and &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; is the one questioning that may help (if done well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case, the girl I met online at 15 and I broke up long before any of these vacation plans materialized. We remained close, though, and we did wind up visiting each other, she on a family vacation, me after I turned 18 and paid for my own trip to see her. We still talk, and plan on attending each other's weddings next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11906" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T14:56:09.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18011" CreationDate="2014-12-19T21:11:34.827" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several things going on here, but I'll address only the two most relevant concerns. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first and most important thing you should be aware of is that, yes, while she is a teenager, by our (current U.S. standards) she is still a child. Children do... childish things. They manipulate their own parents (biological or otherwise) in order to get what they want. One should take great care in this situation, and make sure that any relevant shock factors aren't coloring the deciding factors' logical facilities. We are human, emotions might be running high (good or bad) and they cloud our judgement. No-one is immune. Be sure she isn't using the &quot;bomb&quot; (even a positive) of her sexuality to cloud the idea that what she is doing is outside normal. A 14 year old, male or female, does not travel for 'first crushes.' I, personally, wouldn't let my 14 year old go on a &quot;date&quot; in town unchaperoned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second issue is the 'online long distance relationship.' This is a murky and, as already addressed, dangerous game your child is playing. Even if you have had personal contact with the other party, there is no real way of knowing the true nature of that person online. What do her parents say? Have you met (online or phone) and talked with them? I'll not mention all the various scams and ploys used online to lure our youth away, but these are the types of things you should also be considering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final thought, you should be aware that... from personal experience, having someone who 'gets' you and is always there to tell you what you want to hear is a powerful thing. While exploring the idea that one can have a different sexuality (well, different 'anything' as currently 'norm'), among other things, having someone in your ear (or in a chat window) enabling you to think that this or that is &quot;OK&quot; and acceptable, you start to push boundaries among other things. It is then easy to push and lash out at parents or authority because only that person truly understands you. Your daughter more than likely didn't come to the decision of her sexuality on a whim, or because of an abiding attraction to all things women, but most likely from the deep personal (and mutual) relationship fostered over time with this other girl online. And while one might also see the benevolence or innocence of this because they are both girls of the same age, your original question plays to my point. What if the other party was a 31 year old male used car salesman from across town? Or, a close personal friend your husband grew up with whom had recently divorced? You might call these fictional men predators... so, why are you, your husband, and some of the others who've answered, so quick to ignore this other girl as one as well? Even if this other girl is everything she says she is, is her desire for your daughter really as innocent as you want to believe it is?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I forgot to put an actual solution for you here, forgive me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Solution: Vet the other girl. Then, find out the strength of the bond your daughter has with her by removing their ease of access to each other. Only allow her contact via snail mail. If it is 'true love' the added work and wait won't diminish the relationship. She will perceive this as a punishment, and it is very similar to one. As a parent you have to be able to put your children in difficult positions 'for their own good.' Your daughter has had entirely too much freedom and has abused it. She has fostered a relationship that has questioned her sexuality at an age where actual sex shouldn't be a topic. This is little different from actually having sex and getting pregnant. She has further weakened your trust in her by causing this issue inside your family, and pushing for something you are clearly not comfortable with. In truth, at 14, it shouldn't be an issue at all, politically correct or otherwise (going back to by first point about her using it to manipulate the situation) and as such her actions should be curtailed (or punished) as a matter of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may seem harsh, but are you her parent, or a by-standing friend who allows her to make any choice she wants regardless of consequence? If it's traveling across country now b/c &quot;I'm gay,&quot; what will it be next time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11908" LastEditorUserId="11908" LastEditDate="2014-12-19T23:45:19.750" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T23:45:19.750" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18007" CreationDate="2014-12-19T22:00:53.750" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is really only one answer needed for this issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Self esteem and personal appearance (in all ages, but more quickly in children) comes from only one factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A sense of being valued by role models (or mates more commonly in women). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emulation (or 'pea-cocking') quickly follows because value is a diminishing property that when viewed internally needs constant upkeep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In pre-adolescent children, gender is neutral, so the role model method is more effective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your solution:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Either make yourself (or someone you can manipulate) her role model, then make her seen as highly valued by that person. Keep that person in the specific appearance that you are looking for in your child, she will then try and emulate that person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your concern for the idea that she should not &quot;feel like she's constantly being judged and critiqued&quot; is exactly the opposite of the solution to her problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While some may judge this to &quot;cause a lifetime of self esteem problems&quot; the idea that we constantly judge ourselves against those we look up to, is exactly how how and why successful people 'dress for success.' &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be the person at the top, so you emulate their &quot;tidy and acceptable appearance.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other thing to consider is the battle between 'lazy' and 'work ethics.' If she is simply not doing her hair, or wearing simple clothes she just throws on, try working on instilling a larger work ethic in her. Gardening and chores are simple easy fixes for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11908" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T22:00:53.750" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18011" CreationDate="2014-12-19T22:57:12.637" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the lack of information it doesn't seem like you have all the information on what is really going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would first suggest that you go and do something Fun with your daughter and have a calm conversation about the whole thing and see what is going on, she is 14 and believes that she can make decisions on her own (assumption), so talk to her and make sure that you know why she makes the decisions she makes, and let her know how you make decisions, how you make decisions when you don't know what to do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just have conversations with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3854" LastActivityDate="2014-12-19T22:57:12.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18007" CreationDate="2014-12-20T00:09:45.950" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you have 3 separate issues here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Tidy appearance&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some near-universal assumptions that people make about others who exhibit poor hygiene. Hygienic, tidy appearance is separate completely from style. You can wear the exact same outfit, but still give different impressions about yourself based on how tidy you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe it's important to encourage personal grooming, and to emphasize that personal hygiene is separate from looks, even though it affects how you look. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good personal hygiene consists of:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bathing regularly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Washing hair regularly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brushing/combing hair before going out in public&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brushing teeth regularly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wearing clean clothes in public&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wearing properly-fitting clothes in public&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trimming fingernails regularly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting regular haircuts&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Using deodorant&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maintaining facial hair&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this does vary by culture, with more or less being expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While no one really likes having their character judged based on their appearance, there &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be a valid reason we judge people on their cleanliness. Dirty appearances and smells are associated with poor health, and poor health can be contagious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child should learn how to care for their own personal hygiene. There are very few places where it's generally accepted that you don't have to be groomed to be there. Namely: home, a close friend/family member's home, and WalMart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Expressing oneself&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that clothing we choose to wear is part of our self-identity. Considering how much we're judged on our appearance, I don't think my opinion is amiss. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of whether or not we feel that people should judge on appearances, it happens and &lt;em&gt;it's always going to happen&lt;/em&gt;. So, it's best to be prepared for that. This means that it is important to be aware of how we're representing our identity to others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you just wear whatever is comfortable, no matter how it looks, that's your prerogative. However, the identity you're projecting is, &quot;I just wear whatever is comfortable, regardless of circumstance/expectations&quot;. Some people may also consider this appearance to not be tidy, and so you're back to judgments about tidiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you wear a style of clothing that is representative of a subculture, then you're projecting the identity of, &quot;I belong to [this] group.&quot; With this, you end up also opening yourself up to judgments and misconceptions attributes to that entire group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you wear clothes you feel truly represent yourself, then you're projecting &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; identity, rather than a blanket identity attributed to many.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would encourage your child to wear the types of clothing that are age-appropriate and conform with their own identity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Building self-confidence in personal appearance&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child knows that they are well-groomed, then they can also know that judgments are being made about their appearance because of cleanliness. This improves confidence by removing from the table a range of attributes or judgments that may lower confidence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is wearing clothing they feel represents their identity, then you can support them in that. Try to learn about that style (probably by observation), and facilitate it if you can. This may mean suggesting articles of clothing your child already owns that may &quot;work&quot; better in an outfit choice that is not working. It may mean letting your child have more power in deciding which clothing to buy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When trying to increase your child's self confidence in their appearance by making verbal statements, wording can be important. Here are some examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I can tell you put a lot of effort into that outfit today.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;You look very well put-together.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;That [accessory] is a nice touch.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;You did a great job picking that outfit, it looks amazing.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these statements compliment your child's &lt;em&gt;ability&lt;/em&gt; to maintain their style. These statements/compliments are not about things your child can't change, such as their physical appearance (or current wardrobe, unless they have their own money). They can change how much effort they put into their appearance, whether or not they look tidy, and what sorts of choices they make about outfits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may notice that you don't necessarily have to like a child's outfit in order to compliment them about their ability any more than you have to like an artist's subject matter to compliment their technical ability. However, your &lt;em&gt;tone&lt;/em&gt; should not say, &quot;I don't like the outfit, so I'm complimenting the only thing I can think of.&quot; These statements should be genuine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child happens to get teased based on an outfit choice, you can use that as an opportunity to build confidence, with statements like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;You should be proud of yourself for not letting [Person] change how you express yourself.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;You're very good at understanding that they weren't teasing you because of your clothes, but because they wanted to tease you about &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt;.&quot; (Supposing that they are good at understanding that. If your child isn't, that's something else to work on)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-12-20T00:09:45.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7427" CreationDate="2014-12-20T01:35:52.083" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The user &quot;Matt&quot; posts an argument that your children are not speaking German because they do not like to speak it, but rather that they are not completely fluent in it. I'd actually like to offer a counter argument to that: I myself was raised with four languages, and have since observed my mother raise another child with the same languages. I'm also raising my own child doing the same. Additionally, my first language is not English, English happens to be my fourth language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience as a child was frustration. I detested speaking German in an English speaking country, and the grievance was purely down to context. I remember telling my mother once that I would only speak German in Germany, and Afrikaans in SA. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It got to a point where, at around seven or eight I began to completely ignore my mother when she spoke to me in anything other than English, in England. after a few months of this, she eventually gave in (I was a very stoic/stubborn child) and I felt much more comfortable. The merit to all this is that I began to enjoy my other three languages much more, even going as far as to very occasionally drop a word or two in Afrikaans (my mother tongue) at sporadic points. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm very glad that the remainder of my childhood was spent as such. I can't explain, even now, why I felt so uncomfortable speaking languages in &quot;the wrong country&quot;, but I witnessed the same issue with my younger brother. Our mother adopted the approach of using English &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; of the time with him, but took the time to teach him German as well. He has no issue with spoken or written German, but I could see the obvious change in character when he was spoken to in a language not native to the country he was currently in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in answer to your question? I think you should respect that they feel more comfortable speaking German. I would naturally ensure they can speak and understand Danish, as its obviously a very important part of their heritage, but neither would I suggest that you &quot;ram it down their throats&quot;, as they will likely begin to resent both that side of their culture and you for doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that I think about it, perhaps I &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; offer an explanation:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The majority of young children and young adults dislike the concept of being different, or standing out too much. Many people make the mistake of thinking that they do not want to stand out at all, however this is not the case. Most want to have a sizeable proportion of their lives reasonably similar to their peers, and it is only once they begin to mature a little that they begin to explore other aspects of their lives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, there are those who adopt radically different lifestyles and mentalities from an early age, but the majority of people do not. It is perhaps for this reason that we dislike foreign culture being applied to us at this age, particularly if it is a person whom is as close to them as a parent. The very &lt;em&gt;thought&lt;/em&gt; of being vastly different (and remember, vastly is a considerably wider term here) makes them recoil, and causes embarrassment amongst a multitude of other emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11914" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2017-04-10T16:59:03.217" LastActivityDate="2017-04-10T16:59:03.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18027" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18030" CreationDate="2014-12-20T03:59:09.723" Score="12" ViewCount="1791" Body="&lt;p&gt;My second child is due towards the middle of next year. This was an expected, planned pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no worries or reservations about having another child. It's something my wife and I both wanted and we agreed upon the timing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I have found this pregnancy to be much less exciting and emotionally charged than the last (it's less pregnant, if you will). I know some of this is just because it's not &lt;em&gt;new&lt;/em&gt; and many of my fears/worries about pregnancy were assuaged. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my lack of excitement is much more severe than I expected. I feel less emotionally invested in this pregnancy than the last. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read about some fathers needing a long time to feel attachment to their child, but these articles are usually about fathers who felt this with their first child. They're not about parental attachment to additional children/pregnancies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I don't have any worries about whether or not I will love my next child as fully as possible, but I do wonder &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; that will happen.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a common (or not uncommon) feeling during additional pregnancies? Is there any trend regarding when this attachment develops (such as during a stage of pregnancy, during labor/delivery, or some time frame after birth)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If those questions are unanswerable, does anyone have advice on making pregnancies more exciting for the parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Since there have been a couple responses that I feel might have confused the question, I wanted to clarify that I'm not concerned about my ability or potential to love my new little one. I've emphasized the relevant part of the question above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also wanted to add that we found out the other day that we're having another son. I'm marginally more invested now that I have a more concrete image of who's coming, but I still can't help but feel a little guilty about how little excitement I'm feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I have found that two things are helping to make me more excited: &#xA; - Trying to decide on a name for my new son&#xA; - Asking my firstborn questions such as, &quot;Do you think we should get a baby?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think these work because I'm adding to the mentality that there will actually be another person in our family soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2014-12-24T18:50:38.150" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T22:05:18.427" Title="When will I feel the same attachment for my next child as my firstborn?" Tags="|pregnancy|bonding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18011" CreationDate="2014-12-20T04:38:06.280" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about setting up &lt;strong&gt;supervised&lt;/strong&gt; facetime/skype sessions once every 2 weeks for a year minimum before even entertaining the idea of a 14 year old traveling to hook up with anyone, known or unknown, regardless of sexual orientation (agree with others, too few details provided) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you try this approach you are telling your 14 year old you are listening and presenting an alternative that shows you are not dismissing the request or their sexual orientation without consideration and at the same time gives you an opportunity to express your concerns (safety-security-maturity level, utmost importance) and why the 1 year supervised restriction is a good compromise for both you and your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll achieve?:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a year you should be able to be fairly certain who this person is and if they are who they appear or are projecting to be, to you and your 14 year old daughter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a year, she'll be 15 and this type of discussion would be &quot;more appropriate to most&quot; than at her current age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a year, since you would be supervising video chats (under the suggested scenario) you should be able to make a determination whether this person should be in your underage daughter's environment on any level until she is of age and can make her own decisions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your 14 year old daughter and her &quot;friend&quot; are willing to accept the notion of supervised video chats for a year and remain interested and maintain contact with each other for an entire year should logically tell you volumes about both your daughter and her friend (not a crush, genuine, etc.).   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11915" LastActivityDate="2014-12-20T04:38:06.280" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18027" CreationDate="2014-12-20T08:54:56.550" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a &lt;em&gt;mother&lt;/em&gt; of two I can not speak from a father' perspective, but let me try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our first child &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; was new. Also, he first child changes more - that's when the couple turns into a family and you become a father. From this perspective &lt;em&gt;the second child is no big news, been there, done that&lt;/em&gt;. Ok, seriously, &lt;em&gt;of course&lt;/em&gt; it is, but it doesn't change the family dynamics as much as the first. You don't have to think as much as before about new things or &quot;how's it going to be when....&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, the first child needs your attention, leaving less time to think about the second. You can't focus that much on being pregnant when a toddler needs you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a father, you are even more at a disadvantage: For your wife, the second child can always &quot;remind&quot; her that it's also there - a well-placed kick will do ;-) But for the father it's always somewhat &quot;hidden&quot;. My husband experienced roughly the same as you: He said that the second pregnancy went by &quot;almost unnoticed&quot;. Think about what is different: Perhaps you are the sole breadwinner now, spend a lot of your free time with your firstborn, ....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me reassure you: IMHO, the fact that you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; thinking about your feelings is a sign that you shall be fine once the child is born...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2016-02-18T22:05:18.427" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T22:05:18.427" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18027" CreationDate="2014-12-20T19:59:50.880" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a great question!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I was pregnant with our second, my husband and I felt just like you do. I could never bring myself to talk to anyone except my husband about it, I felt so &lt;em&gt;guilty.&lt;/em&gt; I wondered if I could ever love this child like I loved the first. I even wondered if there was something wrong with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like most worrying, it turned out to be for nothing. My fears disappeared pretty quickly after the birth, and soon enough I wondered how I could love my second baby &lt;em&gt;so much.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Had I asked our obstetrician, I would have learned how incredibly common this is. In the link below, you can read parent after parent confessing to similar fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When will you feel the same attachment to your second? My guess is within a few days of his birth. It may take longer, but that incredibly passionate love that surprised you with your first will be just as surprising with your second, maybe more so because you didn't expect it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/pregnancy/anxiety.html&quot;&gt;Berkeley Parents&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-20T19:59:50.880" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18031" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18033" CreationDate="2014-12-20T20:12:55.387" Score="1" ViewCount="3757" Body="&lt;p&gt;She draws nearly always with a black crayon or pen or uses very dark colours. When she has to pick a pipe for drinking, it is the same - the pipe is always black or dark, though we have nearly a rainbow of colours to choose from. When bathing, she nearly always plays with a black duck. Actually, I have the feeling, that the only reason, why she isn't always wearing black dresses, is because we haven't bought her any in this colour yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this something, that I should look for or should I rather take it as a short time behaviour, that is going to pass sooner or later?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11179" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-12T17:01:12.673" LastActivityDate="2018-05-12T17:01:12.673" Title="Should I be concerned about my 2.5-year-old daughter nearly always picking the colour black?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18032" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18039" CreationDate="2014-12-20T20:44:23.087" Score="2" ViewCount="2406" Body="&lt;p&gt;He is 2 years and 2 months, she is 5 months old. He keeps stealing her milk bottle every time we blink. We got him the same pink bottle but it did not work. I even tried giving him formula milk that his sister drinks even when he drinks cow milk. Both solutions were a failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have made both of them a bottle at the same time, he puts his on the table and goes straight to steal hers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-25T13:48:29.247" LastActivityDate="2022-12-19T20:25:47.823" Title="How to stop my 2-year-old son from stealing his sister's bottle?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18031" CreationDate="2014-12-21T03:14:04.827" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does she know her colors yet? I would be very surprised if she could. I also would be very surprised if she cared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents tend to worry about children's color preferences. Boys who like pink. Girls who like black. Heaven help the mother of a child who insists on only wearing white - unless dad does the laundry. Then, heaven help &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Colors are a much bigger deal for parents than kids. The odds aren't that your daughter is colorblind. The odds are very far from the chance that your daughter will be a goth. Let the sweet little child play without any cares on your part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may just find the high contrast between black and white attractive (I assume she's coloring on white paper? If you gave her black paper, she might pick up a white pastel to draw on it. Who knows?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're worried, she should have a doctor visit coming up. Mention it to the doctor. He might have her tested for her vision. They test for color blindness later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, it's cool that she has such well developed preferences. Celebrate her individuality! Black backgrounds are wonderful for pops of color at a party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-johnny-name-colors/&quot;&gt;Why Johnny Can't Name His Colors &lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/11/teach-child-colors.html&quot;&gt;How to teach your child colors&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T03:14:04.827" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18034" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-21T08:06:02.583" Score="9" ViewCount="1614" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 19 years old, and am currently in a relationship. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents can't seem to understand the fact that I am now old enough to make my own decisions and to know right from wrong, that I have the ability to care for myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, my parents want to control my every move my relationship; they will not let me go out unless I ask them for permission, I have a certain time I have to be home, they are constantly checking up on me, and because of this, now it has been almost a week that I have been unable to see my boyfriend.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like talking to my parents would help. Thing is, it seems like everytime I talk to my parents, we just have bigger arguments each and every time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My boyfriend is getting as tired of the situation, just like I am. He has talked me into maybe moving into his parent's house. I feel it is a bit too early to take that step in the relationship. But, I don't see another way of solving this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice would help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11918" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-21T11:59:11.273" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T17:51:37.937" Title="Are my parents to break my relationship apart?" Tags="|parents|relationships|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="591" CreationDate="2014-12-21T10:28:51.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Finland, children start to go school after 7 yrs of age, and they spend half the time in class room study and the remaining hours in playing games. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finland schools are running by government and students are treated equally each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11919" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-21T11:54:46.877" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T11:54:46.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18027" CreationDate="2014-12-21T10:59:41.423" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stephie and anongoodnurse have already answered your question very well (&lt;code&gt;+1&lt;/code&gt; from me for each), but here's two more thoughts on attachment between fathers and children: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Attachment from its parents is something that used to be of utmost importance for the child to be able to survive (and really, if you look at the state human newborns arrive in, it still is), so nature took care to create mechanisms that make parents feel attached. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I see, and this seems to be confirmed by some studies I heard about, attachment is related to early bonding. There a correlation between how much time fathers spend with their newborn and how attached they feel to the child later. All the fathers I know who have been present during birth and spent plenty of time home after their child was born, changing diapers and helping the mother in those bad nights that seem to be part of having children, are great fathers whose attachment to their child nobody would question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you doubt your ability to love your children, make sure you spend plenty of time with them early on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thought on your current state is from an evolutionary POV: You and your wife have already invested a lot into your first child. Should life become a struggle, biologically and evolutionary nature's first priority should be for you to protect that investment. As long as your second child isn't even there, it would be in the best interest of your first child to receive all the attention and love you have, because it is known that it has survived the first &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; years, while it is unknown about the yet unborn if it will survive that long. However, the very moment your second child is born, it, too, needs attention and care, otherwise the pregnancy would have been wasted. That's why you will love your second child just as fiercely as your first — once it's there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a father of many children, I can tell you that each of my children is a very different person from all of the others, and that I love each one of them for different reasons and in a different way — but all of them very fiercely. Love follows math's rules only very loosely or not at all, and I can assure you that one can love every single child as if it was the only child in the world to be loved — and love all of them like this at the same time. &lt;code&gt;:-)&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-12-25T01:50:40.170" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T01:50:40.170" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18037" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18045" CreationDate="2014-12-21T11:32:42.973" Score="7" ViewCount="1239" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 7 year-old son has a 6 year-old girl friend and the 2 were really very close friends - one heart and one soul.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she's moving for 3 years to another country (very far away) and the evening after her family's &quot;farewell party&quot; he suddenly cried and was very very sad about loosing his best and only friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems quite difficult (and I know myself that it is not easy to find such good soul-mate friends) to find new/other close friends.&#xA;It adds to the problem, that he is &quot;less wild&quot; than most other boys, so he often prefers being with girls. He just started going to school and knew nearly no one in his class from before (while most of the others seemed to know each other already). At the moment it seems that there is none of the boys in his class who has the potential for becoming a new best friend... (I'm not yet sure about the girls.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to help him finding new/more friends?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sure, we will also try to help him to keep in touch with the girl (via phone/skype), but the risk is there that they are going different ways.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And we will try to encourage him to meet with other children in his age from school or from the neighborhood.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;candidates&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;remark: sure I don't want to decide for him which friends to choose, but I see which children he likes and which might fit to him&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is one really nice girl in the neighborhood (and they seem to get along very well together), but her best friend (another girl) does not like our son and is very jealous if her friend has other friends besides her... so that could become very difficult and lead to our son feeling and being excluded, as soon as they are all three together...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is one boy in our street, they now walk to school together (but are in different classes) - they seem to have fun together mostly, but the other boy is often too wild for our son.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There's another boy we know from the kindergarden, but he's younger than your son and not yet in school, so I'm not sure if that might work well...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;2nd remark:&lt;/em&gt; If that sounded like our son does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; like meeting with other children for playing, you got me &lt;em&gt;wrong&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;He is also willing to meet with other children of his age&lt;/strong&gt; (boys and girls), I just wonder how he can find again such a good an close friend as this leaving girlfriend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He already joins group activities like sports, swimming etc., so he also gets in contact with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2014-12-21T19:33:21.183" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T19:33:21.183" Title="How to help 7yo boy who lost his best friend (relocation far away)?" Tags="|primary-schooler|friends|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18037" CreationDate="2014-12-21T12:30:05.377" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard for any parent to watch as their children experiences pain and hurt. But pain and hurt will come into every child's life, and nothing you can do will change that. Of course, context and the child (his personality, etc.) always matter. But it might be more helpful in the long run to help him learn to entertain (and soothe) himself now than to find him new friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help him (with Skype, emailing, etc.) and &lt;em&gt;be there&lt;/em&gt; for your son in his pain. Let him feel it, validate it, hear him, answer his questions, tell him he will not always feel the way he does now. Encourage life skills: reading, interests he might have, participation in sports is he is so inclined, and honesty in dealing with his feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, maybe instead of looking for ways to mitigate it, you can help your child to deal with it in a healthy way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In part, this depends on what message you want to send to your child. Allowing him to deal with the hurt in his own way, and to find his own friends (make sure he has opportunities), lets him know that you believe in his ability to solve his problems and you respect his feelings and his decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But to &lt;em&gt;vet candidates&lt;/em&gt; seems to be trying to control his friendships and pain a bit too much, to my thinking. We have far less control over the way our children perceive things than we think we do. They will miss their friends, they will find new friends that &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; like, regardless of what we plan for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just my $.02, for what it's worth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T12:30:05.377" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18032" CreationDate="2014-12-21T13:05:04.970" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's time for him to learn that he doesn't get to take things away from other people just because he feels like it (for whatever reason). Though she probably doesn't &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; disrespected when her bottle is taken away from her yet, eventually she will feel this way and more if his behavior is allowed to continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To some degree, has been supplanted in his parents' attentions by this little upstart. Of course, he wants what she has - both her bottle and her parents' attention. Having a new baby in the family may be one of the toughest things your older child has to deal with. Often two-year-olds have more trouble getting used to a new baby because their needs for time and closeness from their parents are still great. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him know taking her food away from her is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; ok. This will help with other behaviors which are not ok: hurting her, taking her toys, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do let him know you love him just as much and he's still just as special to you as he was before.  Spend some one-on-one with him every day. Let your son choose the activity, and follow his lead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Listen to how your child feels about the baby and the changes in your family.  If they express negative feelings, acknowledge them.  Help your child put their feelings into words (teach him feeling words).  Never deny or discount your child’s feelings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a tendency to suddenly (but without intending to) expect your child to become more independent when you have a new baby.  If you expect &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; independence, you are more likely to get more, so it's ok to baby him to some extent (hold him more often, carry him as much or more than before, etc.) for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remind visitors to pay attention to your older child, and not just the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure the older child has some special, private space, and things of their own that they don’t have to share with the baby. The baby likewise should have things she does not need to share (like her bottle.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them participate in the baby’s care—baths, dressing, pushing the stroller, etc. if he wants to, and does it gently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point out the benefits of being an older child, like choosing what to eat, being able to go the park and play, and having friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of these ideas and more (what books you can read to your child, etc.) can be found below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/newbaby.htm&quot;&gt;New Baby Sibling: Helping Your Older Child (or Children) Adjust&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_helping-your-preschooler-adjust-to-a-new-sibling_3636582.bc&quot;&gt;Helping your preschooler adjust to a new sibling&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/newborns/Help-Sibling-Child-Adjust-New-Baby&quot;&gt;Helping Your Older Child Adjust to the New Baby&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/childrens-health/in-depth/new-sibling/art-20044270&quot;&gt;New sibling: Preparing your older child - Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T13:05:04.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18040" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18044" CreationDate="2014-12-21T14:52:43.357" Score="4" ViewCount="740" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for a baby monitor that comes with both a monitor device that I can use to view it and also the option to download a mobile app that can view it via a mobile (over Wifi).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have googled it to death with no luck. It would give me the option to use my phone to see when baby cries as well as a device for convenience to leave downstairs if I don't bring my mobile with me, or for others to use without having to give my phone or wifi password away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11921" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-07T21:26:34.407" LastActivityDate="2019-08-18T01:29:57.330" Title="Looking for Baby Monitors with Mobile App and Device" Tags="|safety|supervision|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18040" CreationDate="2014-12-21T15:31:59.417" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could use any ip camera(such as a foscam or drop cam) and simply buy a low cost tablet as the monitor device. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any Android or iPad device would do the trick. Amazon kindle fire for example is very low cost and would work with any ip camera. Or you may already have an old iPod touch or tablet that you don't use or could be used for this that would cost you nothing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1928" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T15:31:59.417" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18040" CreationDate="2014-12-21T16:23:11.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've used Lorex monitors for years.  They can broadcast to Skype. Their hardware tends to be a little fragile, but otherwise works well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This looks like the new model...&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00ARJQRLU&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Lorex-LW2731-Recording-Monitor-Wireless/dp/B00ARJQRLU&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use this older model, which has a dedicated monitor, but no mobile app.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B005GTNZU2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Lorex-LW2031-connect-Wireless-Monitor/dp/B005GTNZU2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11922" LastEditorUserId="11922" LastEditDate="2014-12-21T18:44:47.080" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T18:44:47.080" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17942" CreationDate="2014-12-21T16:46:05.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Q1: &lt;em&gt;I can't help but wonder, how else, besides the strong example we have set in our home, can we teach him the value and seriousness of making good relationship choices?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sandra-dupont/parenting-teens_b_1959383.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Leading by example is usually the best way&lt;/a&gt; to get a point across. If your current marriage is as wonderful as you make it out to be, your son will notice that long-term monogamous relationships can make certain people happy -- and may strive for the same in his own life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, even after observing your example, your son may decide to follow a different path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Q2: &lt;em&gt;Without preaching, or criticizing his father, how can I teach my son to choose healthy relationships over lust based flings, and ultimately, the value of a marriage?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, this question seems like it is much more about your resentment of your son's father's love life than about your son's best interests. At 10 years old, your son is probably old enough to pick up on what you might really be saying here, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful not to diminish your credibility in your son's eyes by demonstrating an ongoing resentment of his father's love life. If his father's choices are truly foolish, your son will see that on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11286" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T16:46:05.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18040" CreationDate="2014-12-21T18:55:32.853" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're looking for a &quot;smart baby monitor&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, asking to have a baby monitor that comes with both a proprietary viewing device  &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; and mobile app is probably asking too much from the manufacturers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developing hardware to view the baby monitors requires the manufacturer to have: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More materials costs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increased engineering costs for developing the hardware&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Software development costs for developing the software&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More limiting computing constraints based on need for minimum-spec hardware&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developing an application for smartphones is seen as an &lt;em&gt;alternative&lt;/em&gt; to physical devices. You're already providing/own the hardware (why may be better than the hardware they produced), so they can put their resources into the software development aspect of the viewing app. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since apps are an alternative to, rather than a supplement for, proprietary hardware I'd be impressed if any such products exist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if such a product existed, the dedicated viewing device would most likely have less features and feel terribly basic when compared to the app.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you can get your solution yourself just by looking for a smart baby monitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Searching Amazon, for instance, with those terms brings up at least 4 monitors with Android/iOS apps in the first 10 hits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brands listed include:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Withings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;iBaby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;VideoSecu&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;WiFi Baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Medisana&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of the models I quickly found, they have a wide variety of features, so make sure you're looking for other features than just being Android/iOS. Some features are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pan and tilt&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;360 rotation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Night vision&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2-way audio&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Video recording&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Snapshots&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Multiple users (AKA, more than 1 smart device can be used to view the monitor)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;App support (how old is the app? Is it being updated regularly?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Minimum requirements for the app&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some smart baby monitors don't come with apps, but have proprietary handheld video monitors and web-based features that make them &quot;smart&quot;, so be aware that calling it a &lt;em&gt;smart&lt;/em&gt; monitor can mean different things. However, this should at least guide you to finding a device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get your 2nd device that you can leave downstairs, you can simply purchase or acquire another smart device. You can buy a pre-paid carrier phone and &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; use it as a phone at all, and use only the baby monitor app. There's a wide variety of low-cost tablets available these days. You may also already have old smart phones you haven't recycled that can be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this may seem like an additional expense, I would argue that it's probably not any more expensive than a product that would have both a dedicated viewer and a mobile app. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Economically speaking, it's in no one's best interest for a manufacturer to provide both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2014-12-21T19:50:12.380" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T19:50:12.380" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18037" CreationDate="2014-12-21T19:19:21.800" Score="4" Body="&lt;h2&gt;What can we do to help him finding new/more friends?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some activities available in my area that expose my son to more children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Going to the library (in general)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Going to age-appropriate reading activities (such as at the library, or through the community or church)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Community playgroup (Here there's a mom group, where moms bring their children to playgrounds, go for walks, go to free activities)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Join an extra-curricular activity (through school or a parks and recreation program)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sign up for some private training (music lessons, martial arts, art classes, LEGO playgroup)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different local communities will have more or less options available for youth, but in my experience even small towns tend to have &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; regular activities that children can be a part of. I would recommend utilizing these resources even if your child wasn't having issues with a friend. It exposes them to new experiences and ideas, and might help them find a skill, talent, or passion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I wouldn't necessarily do is just encourage your child to meet with other children. That's too broad of a directive. Instead, you could make more specific requests:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Was that Johnny you were playing with? Do you want to see if he wants to come over and play?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I was thinking of visiting Suzie's mom, do you want to come with me and play with Suzie?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this way, you're giving him very clear options, and not phrasing things in a way that puts pressure on to finding friends. Instead, you're just setting up opportunities for play. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he declines, you can use this as an opportunity to ask him why he doesn't want to play/visit and try to address his concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is hesitant about attending any of the above activities, or going on play dates, you can assure him that you won't make him stay if he's unhappy. This means he needs to be able to contact reliably contact you if you're not present at the activity. You may have to give a heads-up to the activity leader, or the other parent, to let them know he's going through a rough time and may want to leave on short notice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using these and similar strategies will help your son find new friends on his own. You're putting him in social positions where he has the opportunity to develop bonds at his own pace. Even if he doesn't find a fast friend right away, he'll still be actively social and (hopefully) having fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T19:19:21.800" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18046" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-21T21:17:09.403" Score="3" ViewCount="6477" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is having a real hard time with my son lately. After his afternoon nap he will almost immediately get really whiny and then go into full blown crying for hours. She is a stay at home Mum so she has to face this 5 days a week every week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trouble is I don't see it, the minute I get home he perks up and gets really happy and playful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been fed, nappy changed, dry clothes, had a good nap and has a supply of water. And none of his teeth &lt;em&gt;seem&lt;/em&gt; to be coming through but that is so far our best guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that he has a milk intolerance and it has all the hallmarks of him accidentally consuming milk but we are so careful with his food, I am concerned he might have another allergy. But have no idea what it could be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There seems to be no way of comforting him either. Picking him up(even though he asks to be), putting him down, playing, singing, his favorite game/song/TV show. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The oddest thing is how scheduled it seems to be, always at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a weekend I do sort of see it but I think he is better because I am there and he seems more receptive to my attempts to sooth him, she can do something and it have no effect whereas I will do the same thing and he might snap out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has also stopped enjoying morning cuddles with his mummy, which I think makes it worse for her. We tried sending her away for the weekend to see if perhaps he was just a bit too used to having her around. But this didn't seem to make much if any difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any clue of what might be going on? Surely this isn't normal!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel I neglected to update this the first time round and as he is nearly 5 I probably should! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will be honest and say we never really got to the bottom of this, it just seemed to phase out after he started going to nursery more and getting used to being more &quot;separated&quot;. He still has bad separation anxiety now and looking back I think this was him having an earlier, intense phase. Its come back bad recently with the death of my grandma and its something we are working through, we were lucky enough to get accepted into &quot;play therapy&quot; that he does at a local hospice which seems to have worked wonders even though i'm not sure what they do :). (to do so my wife did some research and contacted the hospice directly)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For anyone going through a similar experience, look into separation anxiety and find ways to gently introduce more separation. Looking back at this time, it was a hard time for us, we had not reached out to family and we never had him stay over / be baby sat by other people. It was probably after this time I discovered my Aunt and Uncle were super keen to babysit and he started staying over at their house and it definitely coincided with the behaviour more or less going away. We did it gently at first (I stayed over at there house with Archie the first time, then the next time I stayed in the house until late but left etc etc). Granted now he cries when he leaves &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in general now we only have to manage the actual leaving (me/mum/relatives/etc), my advice is make it fun with games, we do a rhyming goodbye game, see you later alligator, see you in the house, mouse etc). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always consult medical professionals but sadly I think mental health, especially child mental health is not very well understood. You might get lucky though we have had some great new GPs lately who seem to have more information on outside programmes :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11361" LastEditorUserId="11361" LastEditDate="2019-03-20T10:57:02.410" LastActivityDate="2019-03-20T10:57:02.410" Title="Why is my 15 month old boy crying excessively in the afternoon" Tags="|toddler|crying|emotional-well-being|stay-at-home|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18034" CreationDate="2014-12-21T21:49:32.260" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tough situation and as mentioned in comments definitely needs more context for better answers but I will say that the talking barrier is massive because ultimately the main thing right now is not just they need to understand you, &lt;em&gt;its you need to understand them&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why are they so afraid of you spending time away&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why have they become more controlling? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why don't they trust your judgement&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get past the arguments and really, truly listen to their objections and try and understand them, then you can ask the same of them and give your reply. Or perhaps there is something your missing like they think this boy is genuinely dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are really trying to listen to them and they are not being very forth coming then you need to plan out the way you are going to communicate. Some potential ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bring in a third party, a teacher, a relative, that can help mediate the discussion and make sure everyone talks to each other properly. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The &quot;talking object&quot; where only the person holding the object (e.g. cushion) can speak and everyone takes it in turns to hold the object and be heard. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well as asking them hard, exploring questions you need to be ready to ask yourself (and be asked) hard exploring questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is your boyfriend more controlling then you realise and you are actually about to go from one controlling relationship to another? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has he got into your head and turned your you against your parents?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally it could be that your parent is a psychologically a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-a-Controlling-Parent&quot;&gt;controlling parent&lt;/a&gt; and hopefully that article will be of use to you. As I mentioned above though, this is where more context on your parents and social standing would help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also say ultimately you have to do everything you can to keep and mend the relationship with your parents over the relationship with your boyfriend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically its important you get to the point where you can be an &lt;strong&gt;individual&lt;/strong&gt; and hopefully your parents would be part of that individuals'(i.e you) life&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11361" LastEditorUserId="11361" LastEditDate="2014-12-21T21:59:00.387" LastActivityDate="2014-12-21T21:59:00.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18048" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18052" CreationDate="2014-12-21T23:58:52.397" Score="6" ViewCount="30588" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &quot;howtos&quot; out there don't really show you how hard to pat the baby when burping it.  They seem to focus on positions and such, but they stop short of actually doing it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to know that I'm patting/rubbing him hard enough to be useful, and not so hard that I would make him uncomfortable (or worse, I suppose).  Use comparisons like &quot;as hard as you would knock on a bedroom door while trying not to wake someone if they are sleeping&quot;, or simply link to a video where someone is &lt;strong&gt;actually&lt;/strong&gt; burping a baby (especially one that does not burp easily!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My baby is 1 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edit: I just want to add that there are several good answers here.  Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11925" LastEditorUserId="11925" LastEditDate="2014-12-24T00:16:05.680" LastActivityDate="2014-12-28T23:58:12.047" Title="How hard do I burp my baby?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18049" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-22T02:01:52.853" Score="9" ViewCount="2018" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6 month old baby girl which started to turn on her belly. Specially during nappy changing this becomes a huge issue. The moment she gets a bit bored (30 seconds into the process), she tries very hard to turn on her belly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It basically takes two persons, one to hold a toy above her in the air and one to change the nappy for this to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that there are suspended toys for cribs but I cannot find any for a nappy changing table. My limited baby-related vocabulary in english makes it also seemingly hard to find one online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can someone either recommend an alternative solution to teach the baby not to roll over or how such a suspended toy would be called so I can get one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been thinking of drilling a hole and attaching something to a hook in the wall, but the table is in front of a window and it's very tricky to do that at the location. I also hesitate to have something hanging 1.5 meters from the ceiling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7212" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2014-12-25T21:36:27.633" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T21:36:27.633" Title="Baby turning during nappy change" Tags="|toys|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18048" CreationDate="2014-12-22T03:09:29.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every baby is different. My first child burped on her own, or else right when we would pick her up. But or second required patting, rubbing, jostling, MORE patting, and some harder patting.  My advice is start out gentle, and if that doesn't work, step it up a notch.  It is extremely unlikely that you will somehow hurt your infant just from the motion of burping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T03:09:29.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18049" CreationDate="2014-12-22T03:15:55.260" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to parenting 101. Some kids lie still, but mine were total wiggly worms.  You might be able to rig a &quot;mobile&quot; as we call them in the States, but your ultimate answer is that you yourself will get faster and faster and learn the tricks needed to change those nappies. Hang in there!  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T03:15:55.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18048" CreationDate="2014-12-22T05:31:27.873" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's something that might help you to feel more comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rest and keep your thumb and the base of your hand (almost to the knuckles) on the baby's side/back, so that the only part of your hand moving are your fingers and knuckles. Then pat away as comfortable. If you do it this way, it's quite unlikely that you will get enough force in your fingers &lt;em&gt;without exaggerating/unnatural movement&lt;/em&gt; to cause any discomfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternate patting and circular rubbing movements. If you don't get a burp after a minute or so and the baby is content, you can feel comfortable that you've done your job. If he's fussing, you can walk and pay/rub.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The object of burping isn't to whack the air bubble out of him (so it's ok if it's very gentle); the object is to get the smaller bubbles to come together and 'break apart' into one big bubble, which he is then upright enough to let out of his stomach. It's just a matter of time and gentle agitation; not much is needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T05:31:27.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18053" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-22T06:23:19.500" Score="1" ViewCount="8031" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12-month-old baby wakes up at 5 a.m. every morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to feed him a bit more before bedtime and get him to sleep later, but it doesn't work..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11926" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-01T14:45:57.333" LastActivityDate="2018-09-01T14:45:57.333" Title="My 12-month-old baby wakes up at 5 a.m. every morning. What should I do?" Tags="|infant|bedtime|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18048" CreationDate="2014-12-22T08:08:57.767" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had almost immediate results when I have the baby with her head over my shoulder and her abdomen on my upper chest/shoulder. Upright, allowing the gas to travel upward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then putting two fingers (Index and Middle) on her belly, gently applying pressure, enough that if you pushed on your own hand, you wouldn't see any white around your finger, but when you lift off, it quickly fades back to your normal skin color.  In other words, barely at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then wiggle the fingers like you were scratching something without actually leaving the spot.  So if you did it on your own hand, you'd see your skin moving under your fingers, with your fingers staying fixed on the spot.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't work, sometimes placing the baby face down over your thigh with slight pressure on her belly, while supporting her weight partially, because if they are gassy, it could hurt if there is too much weight on there.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never really needed to pat anything that was audible..  Just gently tapping.  Keeping in mind, the areas that collect gas are NOT the lungs, and rib cage, but the abdomen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11927" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T08:08:57.767" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18049" CreationDate="2014-12-22T08:15:00.237" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind, there are phases that go on for a few days/weeks/months that will come and go.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In times like what you mentioned, I would do something totally NEW and different.  Usually with an entertaining aspect, like making up a new song, or tapping on the walls in a fun simple rhythmic pattern.  Tickling and whatnot.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then sneak another wipe in there or another leg in the pants.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, in most cases, those can be some really fun times, and unless you are in a super hurry, I'd enjoy the silliness that ensues.  In hurry, I understand, just get the most out of those first 30 seconds.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy these times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a completely other way of approaching this, what we did with our first daughter and it worked extremely well was to look for signs of potty times, and try to notice them before the potty takes place.  Get a little potty to set on your toilet, and sit there with them, letting them go in the toilet.  We did that with our girl from 1 month until she was potty trained, and it relieved a LOT of diaper changing.  A LOT.  Also, when it came time to potty train for real, with HER making the choice to go, it was simple with very little transition.  Not to say she's perfect, at 2.5 years, she still leaks a little pee from time to time, but she has only had to wear diapers at night for a long time now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11927" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T08:15:00.237" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18049" CreationDate="2014-12-22T14:26:31.563" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have two kids who both loathed changing time.  I mean, seriously hated it.  My current son (who is just over a year old) will sometimes even start crying as soon as he sees us walking to the changing table.  Once he is on the table, it can become an irrational battle to keep him from crawling over the edge of the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alas, there has been a solution that works most of the time-- get him engaged in something that thoroughly consumes his attention.  You've obviously noticed a part of this, especially if you are having a second person play with your child while you work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my first child, and now my son, we learned that the best thing to do is to put a toy in the kids hand.  This is a tougher task than one might think.  If you give the kid a toy they've recently played with, you may get 10-20 seconds of distraction time.  With quick hands, this could be enough time to get the kid unclothed and un-diapered.  At that point, you use one-hand to do the rest of the work, while the other restrains the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, we'd prefer to not have to &quot;restrain&quot; our children, if that is possible.  If you can find a toy that the child hasn't played with in a long time, or some form of devices that you &lt;em&gt;usually&lt;/em&gt; wouldn't let the child play with, you can significantly extend the distraction time because your kid is fascinated with discovering a newly found item.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One exception to this rule of giving the kid &quot;new items&quot; is to give them a cell phone.  My wife and I almost never let our children play with our cell phones.  If you are also the type of parent who doesn't share your cell with your children, then this is the &lt;em&gt;checkmate&lt;/em&gt; option that works every time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case, I pull out my phone and give it to my boy probably once every couple weeks.  These are the days where he is extremely tired &amp;amp; cranky, and starts fighting me before I even get to his bedroom door.  As soon as he touches the changing mat, I put the phone in his hand and, bam!, instant silence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope these suggestions help.  Your daughter will have a unique personality of her own, so she may prefer other types of distractions.  Still, if you can give her something to do with her own hands, you can extend the distraction time significantly.  Variety is what makes this work, so learn to continually rotate in-and-out new things for your child to &quot;fiddle&quot; with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2935" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T14:26:31.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18049" CreationDate="2014-12-22T15:18:22.333" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One simple thing that may work is to use your face to distract her.  Since you are standing over her, look over at her and make silly noises and faces.  Talk to her.  Do any goofy thing to grab her attention.  You will have to look away occasionally to see what you are doing with the diaper, but then look back and get her attention again.  Like anything else, it may not work every time, but it is definitely a hands free option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T15:18:22.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18053" CreationDate="2014-12-22T15:28:05.847" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot depends on your overall strategy for sleep training. (i.e. Do you let your baby &quot;Cry It Out&quot;?)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;However, here are some basic suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure you have a solid daytime nap routine. At 12-months, most kids take 2 naps per day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure nap times and bedtimes are as consistent as possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't reward negative behavior. At 12 months, babies are definitely able to manipulate you!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of good books out there about helping your baby sleep, including &quot;Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child&quot;.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0449004023&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11922" LastEditorUserId="11922" LastEditDate="2015-10-22T22:22:32.687" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T22:22:32.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18053" CreationDate="2014-12-22T16:52:26.890" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Go to bed earlier, get up at 5am and be glad it's not 2 am. Your baby may just be a morning person or he could be teething or have a wet/dirty diaper or many other things. If you put your baby down at 7pm for bed 5 am is 10 hours of sleep is pretty good. You might try keeping him awake longer at night, but be prepared for an early wake up call and cranky baby. My daughter is 6 and will still wake up between 5 and 6 am even if she was up until 10 or 11pm. Their internal clock will determine when they wake and you really don't have much control over it. You should also do a diaper check in the morning. Is it wet? Does he normally not care for a wet/dirty diaper? If it's pretty loaded try changing him before you go to bed, even if he is sleeping. Perhaps he is waking early due to that. If you are concerned though seek counsel with your pediatrician. They may be able to give you tips or reasoning for the wake-up call. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T16:52:26.890" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18053" CreationDate="2014-12-22T16:53:28.233" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing about sleep is that it is quite food related. We have a &quot;7am is morning&quot; rule, so breakfast is about 7:30am but in the past when we've let breakfast slip earlier, whichever one is a baby at that point wakes up even earlier (and then you end up with a child who gets up at 6 every day as that's when breakfast is and his/her body expects it!). So we never fed any of them before 7am once they were old enough, which was much younger than 12 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also tried removing naps for at most 1 day in a row at that age and putting to bed slightly later. Then breakfast naturally moves with that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately the 7am rule seems to work, and all of ours rarely wake up before then. We did put the LO back in bed and said &quot;It's not morning yet&quot; and as @adampasz says, you can't reward negative behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes they didn't like going back to bed, but it paid dividends in that they could function much better during the morning and the day, eating better and generally getting a better more stimulated day, leading to appropriate sleep at nap times and at night. So it really helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T16:53:28.233" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18053" CreationDate="2014-12-22T17:56:38.617" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants need to be fed relatively frequently, ideally every 4-6 hours, which unfortunately is a shorter duration than the average adult's total sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to work a feeding into the middle of the night. Have a chair near the bed for that purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that adults actually do have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://slumberwise.com/science/your-ancestors-didnt-sleep-like-you/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;natural two-sleep rhythm&lt;/a&gt;. In the old days it was common for adults to wake up in the middle of the night, do something like read, then go back to bed. This was considered normal. For some reason this custom has been forgotten. Anyway, for a nursing mother it is natural and normal to have a two-sleep night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastEditorUserId="7579" LastEditDate="2015-10-07T17:26:36.237" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T17:26:36.237" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18049" CreationDate="2014-12-22T19:00:12.217" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Distraction helps most of the time, but not always.  Turning over like this is a normal behavior and is a great sign of your baby's development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my son there are two other important aspects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He mirrors my mood.  If I am concerned, nervous, worried or frustrated going into the diaper change then it is always much worse than if I am relaxed and happy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask (not tell or command) the child for help.  My son doesn't really talk yet, but he definitely listens.  Around 16 months I found that asking for help with removing clothes and asking if we can change the diaper helped a lot.  My wife was already doing this when she changed him and I hadn't noticed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11699" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2014-12-22T19:29:36.490" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T19:29:36.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18049" CreationDate="2014-12-22T21:35:42.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a set of distractons that I use in these situtions, depending on baby's age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plastic stacking rings - put a couple on baby's feet, instant distraction&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A plastic tape measure for body/clothes measurements - baby pulls out the tape and then presses the button to spool it in again&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get baby to count their toes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give baby a small board book to read&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11932" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T21:35:42.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18053" CreationDate="2014-12-22T21:46:37.970" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As contradictory as it sounds, try putting the baby to bed earlier.  An overtired baby up too late will not sleep better, she will sleep worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found confirmation on a bunch of places off the internet for this notion, and (without being able to find my copy for a quote) Weissbluth's &quot;Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Child&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastEditorUserId="9368" LastEditDate="2014-12-23T01:59:41.240" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T01:59:41.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18049" CreationDate="2014-12-22T22:22:58.733" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, you should still be able to change nappies one handed while using the other to hold her ankles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are holding her legs up she shouldn't be able to turn over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T22:22:58.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18053" CreationDate="2014-12-22T22:43:03.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your baby is on a 3-nap-a-day pattern at the moment, try hard to make it 2, it worked for us at about 12 months. Ours was slow to drop every nap, as another answer says, 2 is normal for a 12 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People told us &quot;ah it's just they are hungry, don't feed them&quot; but that wasn't the case at all. The day was started and the child wanted to do stuff. Wasn't hungry for another 60-90 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11923" LastActivityDate="2014-12-22T22:43:03.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18068" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-22T23:09:17.803" Score="9" ViewCount="3563" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 15 month old child. He is the only sub 10 year-old in my side of the family. I recently got into a dispute with family, as they wanted us to arrive for a family occasion at a specific time, not earlier or later (reason: don't want too many people in the house at the same time). Whatever the reason, we would be happy to oblige if it wasn't for the child; for a variety of reasons related to the child, 30 minutes earlier suited us much better, and did not have any direct impact on the hosts other than the above reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were told by an intermediary family member, that this demonstrated a lack of respect to those who were hosting the event. I replied that when it comes to anything involving a family with a small child, that you should not demand anything in terms of timing, but, understanding the complexities of managing little ones, a mutually agreeable consensus should be reached. I was then told that we &quot;cannot go through life expecting everyone to do what we wanted to on our own timescales&quot; (this straw man type argument is a familiar pattern with some members of my family). It was said that when their kids were young, they always bended to fit in with other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was said by a member of my family who had children (many years ago) and presented as if it was an undisputable fact. However the experience of my wife and I completely disagrees with this. If a friend invites us to a social event and the time doesn't suit our daily pattern we either decline (not a realistic option with a family get-together) or suggest an alternative time (usually reaching a compromise). My wife's side of the family are all too willing to make sacrifices/compromises in order to accommodate us &amp;amp; their other grandchildren (eg multiple sittings for meal times to suit various routines). Herein lies another issue with dealing with my family - when they present things as fact which I find not to be true in my experience. I don't know how to approach it constructively - it just turns into a brick-wall situation where person A states scenario X is true because of person A's experience, and person B disagrees because of person B's experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few extra things to bring more colour to the scene - I feel that better direct communication prior to the day with the hosts could've improved the situation, I did not know how important it appears to be that we turned up 30 mins later, and perhaps they did not know the ins and outs of our child's routine (but should they need to know that? Is not a request from the parents enough - we are not intentionally awkward people). They were also a bit taken aback when we said we needed evening food some 2 hours before everyone else had theirs, but they coped with that. They gave us some bread &amp;amp; cheese, which was fine, we didn't expect them to bring the full evening buffet forward for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My one thought as justification for the families' attitude is that my family are too far away in years from the time when they had little ones to remember what it was really like. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, by &quot;routine&quot; I mean his nap time, his meal times, and the fact that he falls asleep in the car very easily (which can be a blessing and a curse).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This leads to a few questions.&#xA;1) Who is right - is it ever OK to demand a fixed time of arrival for a family with young children. I am not asking this because I want to say &quot;ha the internet I was right&quot; but more to test our parenting radar/intuition. If I am considered right then it will boost our parenting self-esteem, if not then we will try extra-hard to be humble in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Am I right to expect higher standards from family members in terms of catering for our us and our little one, than from friends? Are the standards I am expecting unreasonably high?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Crucially, any suggestions on how to move this forward? At the moment I feel reluctant/trepidatious about spending more time with the family on away turf, as I feel they will be unwilling to make compromises (around timing and other issues) for the sake of my child (this fear is based on this &amp;amp; other incidents, where a quiet calm request to do things differently for the sake of me or my wife has been met with a (sometimes aggressive) no). I have already listed above a couple of the difficulties of discussing issues with my family but here's another one. My wife &amp;amp; I would rather sit down and calmly discuss issues whereas my family are a lot more aggressive with disagreements, and rarely seem to actually resolve things. I (correctly) believed as a child that there must be a better way to resolve differences than this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT clarification:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for the responses advising to say no to family events, I see the reasoning behind it and will probably try to use it in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However it was not an option on this occasion because it was a two-day event, that we had already committed to. We were only told of the time requirement in the last 10 minutes before we left at the end of the first day, and much of the food prep had been done for the next day. So to have told them we couldn't make it from there would've been, understandably, taken rather badly by the rest of the family (some of whom had travelled 3+ hours to be there).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what we could've done differently on this occasion (ideas welcome), just that we can chat about it with the hosts to avoid the scenario in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11923" LastEditorUserId="11923" LastEditDate="2014-12-23T15:12:26.060" LastActivityDate="2019-04-16T14:11:45.700" Title="Extended family not catering for baby's routine" Tags="|daily-routine|extended-family|grandparents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18068" CreationDate="2014-12-23T00:11:30.890" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can speak from personal experience with situations like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We bring our child's meals with us.  We prepare everything and have little containers always.  So our child isn't involved in anyone's eating schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When dealing with scheduled events, if I experience what you just described with people getting angry at me and my wife because they don't understand that poop shoots out of the butt when you don't want... Or naps interrupted 15-30 minutes early means 2 hours of moody and crying kids AT THEIR HOUSE!  I simply explain those facts to them, and if they still don't get it, I will politely decline their invitations in the future for failure of being able to conform to their strict timelines.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;We aren't able to commit to any accurate time frame so we will skip this time.  Thanks for the invite&quot;  That puts it on them to either excuse the tardiness and accept it without complaint or be happy you aren't coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;We aren't able to make it.&quot;  You don't have to provide a reason.  Let the adults figure it out.  When they are demanding, you don't show.  If they want you in their lives, they can compromise like you do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I admit, I use conditional training on people the same way I would pets.  It works.  I don't have to argue.  If I have an unpleasant family outing that is recurring, I will simply skip the next ones and if when I go back, it's the same, I stop going.  There are too many places to be and people to see in this life to have negative encounters WILLINGLY or BY CHOICE. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be stubborn, but to me, it's really simple:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not going to get STRESSED OUT to go to a RECREATIONAL EVENT then let that stress and anxiety pass on to my child who is actually paying attention to subtle mood changes and might get a clue that they are somehow involved or responsible for my stress.  If it's a holiday, and family wants to fight about ANY details, I abstain from participating.  I like hanging out with like minded folks who are compassionate and loving.  If my family isn't that, then they can see us at MAJOR family functions like funerals and things or events that I HOST on my terms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no reason to be angry or mean or argue about any of it. Call it Passive Aggressive if you want.  I don't care what anyone thinks about it. I have to manage my family the best way I see fit and I'm not going to pass anxiety on to my child because another adult has unreasonable and rigid control issues. Also, I respect and love my family even if they are rigid, and want to respect their rules.  If I can't conform to them, I simply can't participate. OUT OF RESPECT TO THEM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's how I choose to live.  Of course I live in the U.S., where it's in the Constitution that every person is able to pursue happiness however he/she sees fit as long as it doesn't affect another person's ability to do the same.  So it's been pounded in my brain from day one to stand up for these ideals, as opposed to a culture like China's where family is far more important than individualism. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cultural settings can complicate this, and political reasons also.  Such as, the person hosting might be supplying something to you, and you can't afford to make them angry. If that's the case, I'd find a way out of their help and take care of your needs without the assistance of a family member who sets conditional demands of conformity to their ideals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11927" LastEditorUserId="11927" LastEditDate="2014-12-23T00:21:59.027" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T00:21:59.027" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18068" CreationDate="2014-12-23T02:42:44.687" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is interesting; it's only tangentially related to parenting, though. It has more to do with etiquette.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it ever OK to demand a fixed time of arrival for a family with young children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it is. The host/hostess can demand anything they like. &lt;em&gt;You&lt;/em&gt;, however, don't have to give in to any demands made on you. You can simply - and you &lt;em&gt;do have this option with family as well as all others&lt;/em&gt; - to politely explain that you'd love to attend, but because of conflicts with your baby/toddler's schedule you can't. The host can then decide whether it is better to have you over a different time or to flex with your schedule. Or, if you want, you can offer to get together with the host/hostess at another, less busy, time that is more to your family's convenience (at your place of course, or at a restaurant).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Declining &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; a realistic option with a family get-together. If you matter to them, they will somehow readjust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are the standards I am expecting unreasonably high?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;I'd love to come, but can you have a meal ready for (whomever) at 5 p.m. instead of 7 p.m.?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; is an &lt;strong&gt;inappropriate request&lt;/strong&gt;. When hosting a meal for many, the hosts have a lot (usually on a timetable) to do.  To ask them to &lt;em&gt;also&lt;/em&gt; whip something special up for your child is an unreasonable expectation. You should &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; bring your child's food in this situation. When things are less hectic, the hosts can often be more flexible, so maybe less hectic is better for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My wife's side of the family are all too willing to make sacrifices/compromises in order to accommodate us &amp;amp; their other grandchildren. ...[M]y family... present(s) things as fact which I find not to be true in my experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a blessing and a comfort. I would be grateful for a family that puts a high premium on seeing everyone over &quot;rules&quot;. But this is your wife's family. To expect your family to behave like them is fruitless on your part. You have the family you have. To find your footing within that family takes more than demanding something different. It takes negotiation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Families are strange. Some families are comfortable with working out conflict. Some families avoid it at all costs. The only family you have real influence over - if you want to call it that - is your own small family. If you value flexibility, then be flexible, don't expect everyone else to be flexible while you remain rigid. That belies your true values. Do unto others, and all that. On the other hand, you don't have to be a doormat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You and your wife&lt;/strong&gt; get to decide how much interaction you want with your family. Just as they cannot force you to behave in a certain, painful manner, you cannot force them to behave in a certain, painful (to them - and that's &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; decision, not yours) manner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, it sounds like there's room for flexibility on both your part and on your family's, but I am only getting your side of the story, and one event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Evaluate what is important to you, and how you can realistically achieve this (if you can). Set reasonable, well thought out boundaries that you can live with. Do teach your children by example the model you would like them to adopt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below are some resources on boundaries - what they are, how to think about them, and how to set them. It requires a lot of thought, honesty and strength to set reasonable boundaries and to recognize unreasonable ones. Boundaries allow you to reduce exposure to or eliminate truly toxic persons from your life: those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you. Defining your boundaries is good for you. But remember, you can't set someone else's boundaries, only your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ipfw.edu/affiliates/assistance/selfhelp/relationship-settingboundaries.html&quot;&gt;Setting Boundaries with Difficult People&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424127887323482504578227613937854612&quot;&gt;Delicate Art of Pushing Back&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/0007498&quot;&gt;10 Way to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/you-are-allowed-to-have-boundaries-with-family/&quot;&gt;You ARE Allowed To Have Boundaries With Family&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/06/29/how-to-create-healthy-boundaries/&quot;&gt;How to Create Healthy Boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T02:42:44.687" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18049" CreationDate="2014-12-23T04:13:13.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had that problem, and I think just being super quick was the answer at that age, but as soon as the boys could stand, we just did it with them standing up which they appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4684" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T04:13:13.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18073" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18114" CreationDate="2014-12-23T09:06:14.640" Score="9" ViewCount="40305" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am having some trouble with getting my daughter to sleep at a decent time each evening.  She shows signs that she's tired around 7-8pm, so I take her to bed, give her some milk, read a story etc. and she will lie down for a little while but then gets up and starts messing about, wanting to play, asking for more milk etc.  Most nights now it is around 10.30pm to 11pm when she will finally go to sleep.  Sometimes it can be later.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she's asleep she sleeps well and doesn't tend to wake up during the night unless there's a good reason (illness etc) but in the mornings I am having to wake her to get her ready for nursery, which often causes tantrums.  On weekends I do let her sleep in because otherwise I don't think she would be getting enough sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some background info:- She is almost 2 (in a week) and still naps during the day, this time varies, yesterday it was only half an hour, whereas some days it can be over an hour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is How do I get my daughter to shift her sleep times to an earlier bed time and earlier wake-up time? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2014-12-27T06:54:14.353" Title="Toddler going to sleep very late" Tags="|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18073" CreationDate="2014-12-23T10:37:11.347" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the things we have learned, and this is very much in line with the likes of Supernanny, is that when putting the child back to bed there is no talking, no eye contact, no communication; just picking up the child kindly (no cuddling) and putting them back in bed. Obviously this is after a good bed time when you've done stories and cuddles etc, but after the last cuddle (and tell them that it's the last cuddle, last drink etc) it's bed time. If they ask for a drink, say &quot;You've had your last drink and you can have another one tomorrow morning&quot; obviously illness etc aside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried doing this and not doing this, and I can say from my experience doing it really does work well and in our house shifted the time at which they actually go to sleep from past 9 to within half an hour of going to bed. Which meant our LO's were much better in the morning, much more lively in the day, and there were far fewer battles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T10:37:11.347" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18075" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-23T14:20:16.527" Score="12" ViewCount="2896" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son likes salad cream -- alot. He tends to use loads of it and I'm concerned that he's not actually tasting anything new. It's not allowed on every meal, but when it's out it's all over everything (and frankly I find it quite disgusting, but that's beside the point and my problem).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want him to start eating properly and getting used to tastes that he needs to actually have a healthy diet. However how to parent a child with food is something I'm not particularly good with. How do I stem the flow and help him understand that he needs to actually start eating food without covering it in huge amounts of this stuff, because I don't particularly like mealtimes being a battle. I want to do this with him as opposed to just banning stuff, helping him understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2014-12-23T15:26:39.593" LastActivityDate="2014-12-26T16:27:53.270" Title="6 yo smothers his food in sauce -- how can I change this?" Tags="|behavior|eating|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-23T14:41:22.763" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't buy salad cream anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11938" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T14:41:22.763" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-23T15:07:31.770" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 6 yrs old he is definitely old enough to start understand the basics of healthy eating. Smothering sauce on things isn't healthy (as you do seem concerned about). So sit down and talk to him. Tell him that sauce is an extra and isn't healthy in large quantities. Tell him there is a time an a place for things and that he needs to learn when certain sauces are warranted. Some terms to try is that sauce is a &quot;sometimes food&quot;, if he watches sesame street he will already have a little of this concept as they are using it with cookie monster now. Then start treating sauces like a treat. It's a reward for trying new foods or eating a certain food that he may not care for. Make certain he doesn't have an unlimited quantity, but the recommended serving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T15:07:31.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18068" CreationDate="2014-12-23T16:32:51.560" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will admit that I see the same situation in my family and we are Italians! The same thing, I think, could happen everywhere in the world nowadays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;+1 for anongoodnurse' answer, because I find it appropriate and clean in every situation which involves little kids and their parents...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case we decided to &lt;strong&gt;decline&lt;/strong&gt; all invitations (by friends, by parents...), if their timelines were colliding the kid's nap and meals...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We can go as soon the kids will grow up... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it too bad? I don't think so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11939" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:01:52.000" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:01:52.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18068" CreationDate="2014-12-23T17:08:47.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several ways to organize your lives when it comes to the unpredictable nature of small children. One, which your family is using now and claiming to have always used is &quot;suck it up, buttercup, your kid can nap/eat/have a bath earlier or later than usual, it's the holidays and a sacred family time.&quot; Another is &quot;whoever has the youngest child sets the schedule and the location, and we work around what that youngest child needs.&quot; Many families, including your wife's it seems, use this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find plenty of people to tell you that one or the other of these rules is objectively better - in the quality of the family get together, the kind of child who is raised in that environment, or the arguments the family doesn't have. I'm not going to get into that. Both positions are quite easy to defend and to attack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What matters here is that your family happens to have chosen the first approach. What can you do about it? Try these on for size:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Agree to whatever plan they have, then arrive 30 minutes early anyway. &quot;Oh hey everyone, great to see you! This little angel woke up early (or did some other co-operative thing like didn't take nearly as long as usual to eat) and the traffic was amazing so can you believe how quickly we got here! Great to see you all!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stick a 30 minute bonus into your schedule - leave 30 minutes early because that works for the little one, and then spend that time at a park near their house, or a fast food place with a play area, or a mall. This keeps the little one on your schedule and no-one's the wiser. If you also need to leave earlier because of this, when it's clear that the little one needs something that can't happen at the family gathering, you can always leave early, people understand leaving early when toddlers are having a tough time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stick to their schedule, and if the little one is having a tough time of it, do whatever you need to do including leaving. This might mean taking the little one to a quiet room upstairs and missing most of the get together, putting the little one in the car and going for a drive, or going home early. Apologize for missing part of the get together and look forward to next year when your little one is sure to be a little less schedule-and-tension-sensitive&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't go. Feels like an overreaction to me, but if the meltdown to the little one from a 30 minute schedule disruption will last for days, stick to your guns and say &quot;see you all next year!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the worst thing you can do  is get into an extended argument through an intermediary ahead of time to try to prove your point. People always forget how hard it was when they had toddlers and regale you with how they did x, y, and z - and sometimes you can prove they never did. My own family contains a person who always insisted Christmas come to her because her kids were little, and swore she would come to us when we had kids, but never did, her chorus then having switched to &quot;but this might be the last year they're home for Christmas&quot; - she had 10 or 15 such &quot;last years&quot; before realizing they will &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; be home with her for Christmas. We saved our breath and didn't remind her what she promised us, and did what was right for our family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, whoever you're arguing with doesn't get to set your parenting style, so you don't need to convince them that it's right. Long arguments over a 30 minute change in arrival time are pointless. You won't be turned away if you arrive early, no matter what was argued in advance. You have options that don't require permission from the hosts or this intermediary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T17:08:47.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18080" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18090" CreationDate="2014-12-23T17:55:58.170" Score="9" ViewCount="1062" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old son's mother and I split up long ago when he was only about 6 months old. We have a good co-parenting relationship, and we're at peace with each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started dating last year. My son really liked her, but we broke up after about 6 months. During the time we were together, she was a large part of my son's and my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For quite a while, my son would not ask about her at all; all of a sudden, every time I get my son, he is asking if we're going to [Ex's name]'s house today, where I just try to reply that we aren't together anymore, so no. We broke up about 7 months ago, and this behaviour just started happening a few weeks ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The horrible falling out involves the child she gave birth to, as it's actually not mine. I am not interested in trying to restore that relationship, and neither is she. I would not want my son to completely forget her, as she was a good step-parent for the time she was around, but I feel like I'm breaking his heart by saying we aren't together. &lt;strong&gt;What can I do to help him move on?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3700" LastEditorUserId="9826" LastEditDate="2015-01-02T20:43:29.233" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T20:43:29.233" Title="3 yo still asks about my ex" Tags="|pre-schooler|separation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18080" CreationDate="2014-12-23T21:24:29.147" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would guess your son is really asking &quot;why aren't you together with [ex's name] anymore?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case that's true, &lt;strong&gt;perhaps you can take the time to more fully explain the break-up to your son&lt;/strong&gt;. Obviously he is young, so you'll have to tailor your explanation accordingly -- but I'd suggest giving him something more detailed than &quot;we're not together anymore.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11286" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T21:24:29.147" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-23T22:33:26.150" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give him a sensibly-sized splodge on the side of his plate and then put the bottle back in the cupboard and don't get it out again that mealtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-12-24T16:57:46.463" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T16:57:46.463" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-23T23:28:13.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I get what you're trying to do, but I think it's okay for him, it's not unhealthy, as long as he doesn't use up the bottle within a day, it should be alright. And it's normal for kids not trying new foods, they'll get to try them and gain more interest in different foods when they're older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11944" LastActivityDate="2014-12-23T23:28:13.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18084" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-24T00:37:36.593" Score="1" ViewCount="346" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 month old baby has been doing this 3 nights in a row. He suddenly wakes up screaming. Holding him doesn't help, he keeps moving his header right and left, ignoring me. It can keep going for several hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His puts his hand in his mouth and shakes around. He throws away the pacifier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving him food calms him down temporarily, although he jumps on it as soon as he sees the bottle coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also tried acetaminophen and homeopathic drops for teething.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he having a growth sprut? Extra hungry? Teething? Ear infection?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is also very nervous during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7808" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T15:33:32.377" Title="Baby screaming every night with fit in his mouth" Tags="|infant|night-time|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-24T08:52:31.200" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Buy salad cream in sachets, not in a bottle. 1 sachet per meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11949" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T08:52:31.200" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18084" CreationDate="2014-12-24T15:33:32.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though my experience with it started when my daughter was around 3, what you are experiencing sounds about the same. It could be &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/sleep/terrors.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;night terrors&lt;/a&gt;. We call it &quot;lights on but nobody home&quot;. My daughter will wake up screaming for mommy and won't recognize myself or my husband, and thrashing or pushing things away in the air. Now we found pretty much our trigger and that is her having to go to the bathroom. What we think is happening is she is partially awakened by the need to go, but doesn't fully come awake so is still in that spot between REM and awake. The brain is still kind of dreaming. We can usually guide her to the bathroom and get her to go and she wakes up more fully. If she says she doesn't have to go to the bathroom and is still out of it I can sing to her and that helps a bit. Then we try the bathroom again. I think the cold of the seat probably helps bring her out. It still terrifying all the same and possibly hereditary as I still experience similar episodes from time to time and I was a sleepwalker as a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my suggestions are 1. as always if you are really concerned talk to your pediatrician or ask you pediatrician if he/she know of anyone who you can talk to about your child's sleep episodes. This should be first step as they can rule out things like ear infection, colic, food/environment allergy or infant seizures for example (not a complete list just examples of things that &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; cause similar reactions).  2. Try to find a trigger. You say he perks up with the bottle, perhaps a warm(or cool to cold) bottle and some gentle talking/singing to him to bring him around more. Change his diaper and clothing or just strip him down to his diaper for the rest of the night, use cooler wipes or warmer wipes one might &quot;wake&quot; him up. Talk to him and sing gently to him. As long as he isn't in physical danger, it is a scary time but &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; not be much to be done for it. He will probably grow out of it but if not continue to push your pediatric staff to help you find an answer, be it sleep study or finding a more sympathetic ear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T15:33:32.377" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7717" CreationDate="2014-12-24T16:57:18.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never dealt with kids and glasses, but it drives me crazy when my glasses are dirty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he can see well without the glasses, he'll see better without the glasses than with streaked, smeared glasses. If they aren't kept clean, I expect he'll have more reason to take them off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T16:57:18.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18080" CreationDate="2014-12-24T19:07:45.017" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Acknowledge your child's feelings: &quot;you liked X didn't you? You used to have some fun together. Can you remember the things you did?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then move the conversation on. &quot;We don't see here any more, do we? We do other things now.  That's a shame isn't it?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then look to the future. &quot;Maybe I'll find someone different. Would you like that?  What do you think she'll be like?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might need to keep repeating this conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not mention fault.  Do not say &quot;don't worry, it isn't your fault that she left&quot; unless the child specifically mentions it to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T19:07:45.017" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12691" CreationDate="2014-12-24T20:34:13.307" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the answer is… it depends!  If the parents of the older child are coming, then I would definitely invite the younger child.  However, if it is a drop off party, I would base the decision simply on whether or not the younger child will be a benefit or burden to the party. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the younger sibling will play with your younger child, make things more pleasant for your older child and make things easier for you, then go for it, invite the sibling; if not, then don't invite the sibling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11953" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T20:34:13.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17967" CreationDate="2014-12-24T20:57:48.083" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am so sorry you are going through this.   If the issue is that your daughter is gay, and you cannot accept her homosexuality, then you will probably lose her forever, and I feel very bad for your daughter.  Alternatively, if the issue is that you feel her partner is a bad choice for her, then I would encourage you to reach out to your daughter and support her as much as you can.  You can explain to her that while you do not approve of her girlfriend, you will always love her and will do your best to be cordial to the girlfriend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been married for 20 years, and I know my Mom does not really approve of my husband, who is a different race then we are.  They have had many disagreement and conflicts over the years.  I am forever grateful that despite their &quot;dislike&quot; of each other, my Husband and my Mother make every effort to get along because they know I love them both, and I would be devastated if I had to choose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11953" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T20:57:48.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-24T23:46:06.543" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work in a secondary school and it is surprising how obvious it is that parents have 'given in' to the preferences of the child. I have had parents evening appointments where the student has told the mother off for expressing disapproval at a negative report. I know working with a child's preferences with food is really difficult - I have 4 children and they are all different, but you are in charge of what they are doing. I hear what you are saying about how they love it, but I think you need to set the amount they have and stick with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11956" LastActivityDate="2014-12-24T23:46:06.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18046" CreationDate="2014-12-25T00:42:04.827" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it possible your child simply craves more interaction with others? At this age, that may be the important missing part of their day. You could try going to the library, or finding a play group, to go to after the nap - that way, there is something to look forward to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2856" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T00:42:04.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3507" CreationDate="2014-12-25T01:59:16.497" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're still new at this, but so far burping seems to help too.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Any kind of stimulation seems to help some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also try: twisting the bottle, rubbing their chin or cheeks (sometimes triggers a feeding reflex).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T01:59:16.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18100" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18103" CreationDate="2014-12-25T07:06:10.303" Score="3" ViewCount="12863" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a preschooler with the common cold. She refuses to cough because it hurts her throat. I'm afraid she might get pneumonia if she doesn't cough - it happened before. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make my child cough? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9582" LastActivityDate="2017-01-25T04:09:24.023" Title="How to make my child cough?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-25T13:33:18.703" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why not search for sauces or garnishes that don't carry the health risks, figure out which ones he likes, and use more of those?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, you could try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fresh-squeezed citrus (lime, lemon, or orange)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Balsamic vinegar&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Salsa (many varieties are rather healthy)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Low-fat cottage cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ground no-salt spices (such as parsley or basil)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mustard&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him the facts, plain and simple: some things you put into your body are good for you, and others aren't. The stuff that isn't good for you needs be taken in moderation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach him to read nutrition labels. Have him look at ingredient lists, and tell him which numbers he needs to keep low (fat, sodium, calories, etc.). Then, show him the numbers on the salad cream he's been drenching his food with. Hopefully, he'll &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to either take it easy on the cream, or else find some healthier alternatives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This straightforward, fact-based approach could not just solve the short-term problem, but also teach a life skill that will serve him well as he progresses into adolescence and adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11960" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T13:33:18.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-25T15:04:47.117" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First thing in my humble opinion is that you said yourself that it is not allowed all the time, this a good start as you already have boundaries for that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second thing is to ask if there is a relay health risk that can be caused from the cream. if he is a not a healthy boy then my answer is not relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our &quot;rule&quot; in many cases with food, and other things, is that as long as things are set with boundaries which determines when it is allowed and when it is not, it is OK to eat &quot;not so healthy&quot; things (We say that they are healthy for the soul :)) or &quot;misbehave&quot;. The boundaries  give you the option to release a little bit because your kid knows that what you he is doing is allowed only because this is a special time or event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as the way he does it is not to messy and it is in the boundaries of reason, then I would not go for a war for that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is, if this is the case,  why are you worried so much ? if in other meals he eats healthy food then he will learn the taste of good food and get his health needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope it helps&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11961" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T15:04:47.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18100" CreationDate="2014-12-25T19:40:27.533" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Normally, you can't make someone cough. You can encourage a child to imitate you, but inducing the act of coughing is actually very difficult. Since in many conditions (e.g. the long periods of inactivity following strokes) coughing is quite important to pulmonary health, inducing involuntary coughing has been studied. There are mechanical devices that can simulate cough, there is &quot;pulmonary hygiene&quot; for such situations, and there are even studies using nebulized irritants to induce involuntary coughing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is no safe way to &quot;make&quot; your child cough, nor is it necessary or even advisable (you can check with her doctor about this), as normally healthy people do normally clear their secretions adequately. As your child grows out of toddlerhood, her risk of post-URI pneumonia falls quickly to normal adult levels. Making sure your child receives all her immunizations will help her as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all coughs are &lt;em&gt;productive coughs&lt;/em&gt;, including the cough that comes from a sore throat. If she has a dry cough, she can cough 'til the cows come home; it won't help anything, and it will hurt her throat. People instinctively protect themselves by suppressing coughs like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think she has chest congestion, doing what you can to make moving the phlegm easier is beneficial. For example, keeping her &lt;em&gt;well hydrated&lt;/em&gt; during a respiratory illness will also thin the mucus. Run a vaporizer by her bedside at night. You can also ask her doctor about her taking an &lt;em&gt;expectorant&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To promote pulmonary health when she is congested, you can try giving her activities that cause her to take deep breaths if she is not coughing the thinned mucus spontaneously (kids don't spit, they swallow it, so sometimes it can be hard to tell). Having her make a pinwheel turn by blowing on it, blowing out candles, playing a game blowing a small piece of crumpled paper across a table into a &quot;goal&quot;, etc. are all activities which will help clear her lungs, both by taking deep breaths and because taking deep breaths in the presence of tracheal irritation will set off coughing. Even better is making her laugh (which is why many asthmatics cough with laughing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coughing &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; hurt when the throat is inflamed. If you think she has a lot of mucus in her chest (you hear rattling or she's bringing up thick phlegm), you can help her cough once or twice a day with a planned &quot;coughing session&quot; (she need not cough all the time). Give her a pain medication (Tylenol, or whatever your doctor recommends) perhaps an hour before. Before you ask her to cough, give her a cough drop with local soothing properties. Then encourage the coughing by imitation or by making her laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said all this, it's possible that your attempts to make her cough will backfire on you, making her resist all the more. Most healthy young people don't come down with pneumonia after a cold, and there is little that can be done to prevent viral pneumonia (e.g. during peak respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) season). I would recommend talking to her doctor about your fears. One episode of pneumonia in a child is not generally worrisome. &lt;em&gt;Recurrent&lt;/em&gt; pneumonia in a child, however, is reason for a work-up for underlying illness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that common causes (Table 1 in below) are more common than uncommon causes (it sounds needless to say, but we fear the &lt;em&gt;uncommon&lt;/em&gt; causes more). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://bmb.oxfordjournals.org/content/61/1/115.full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Assessment of the child with recurrent chest infections&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lung.org/lung-disease/pneumonia/understanding-pneumonia.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Understanding Pneumonia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-26T08:55:11.570" LastActivityDate="2014-12-26T08:55:11.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5735" CreationDate="2014-12-25T20:03:10.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may well be that what you're seeing is an eruption cyst:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/hBeLz.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may look like a black tooth, but it is just a small collection of blood under the gum surface that sometimes persists for a bit before the tooth (normal, white) erupts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most articles (like the one below) state that eruption cysts occur most commonly in the upper jaw.  They most commonly occur with the baby incisors, the baby molars, and the permanent first molars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.oralanswers.com/eruption-cyst/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Eruption Cyst: A Purple Blue Bump on Your Baby’s Gums&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2014-12-25T20:03:10.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16199" CreationDate="2014-12-26T01:50:38.950" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't feel like what you've described so far is misbehavior. She's actively engaging in her own learning. However, in my experience, many teachers are bothered when they don't have perfectly obedient, controllable little students. Have you sussed out whether or not these incidents are actually impeding her academic process? Or are they perhaps just irksome for the instructors because they prefer more compliant children? Is it because her behavior is more obvious to the teacher than some other children's method's of not paying attention?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say she's displaying a attention span that's just fine (by being able to focus on a book for a long period of time). Some children despise reading, or simply won't do it in long increments. She's able to keep reading, despite the fact that she's no longer &lt;em&gt;required&lt;/em&gt; to be reading. &lt;strong&gt;So I'm not sure she has an attention problem at all.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;However, she likely has an &lt;em&gt;interest&lt;/em&gt; problem.&lt;/strong&gt; Teachers talking/explaining things can be dreadfully boring. If a student is put in a position of passive learning (such as lectures), then their attention is going to wane regardless of age. Just because a student is upright, eyes front, and books down doesn't mean they're actually paying more attention to the teacher than the child reading a book. The only difference is one student is zoning out in a way that's hard to judge, and the other is visibly not tuning in the the teacher. The latter is usually more upsetting for the instructor than the former, despite the fact that they functionally have the same result. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I bring this up, because teaching your daughter not to engage in side-activities (like reading, or doodling) may just lead to her zoning out in a way that doesn't draw the teacher's ire, but also doesn't have your daughter paying any more attention to the class. If material is boring/uninteresting/going on too long then sometimes you just can't help zone out. It's how our brains work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Thus, I'm not sure your daughter has an issue delaying gratification either.&lt;/strong&gt; Yes, she may be engaging in more interesting activities, but there's nothing to say this is because of poor impulse control. Can she wait until after dinner to get dessert? Can she wait to get home to open a new toy? Can she accomplish a task for some sort of reward? If you can answer yes to these questions, it's not really a gratification problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I think there may be an actual answer to your question (even though I'm not convinced your daughter has issues):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The teacher needs to structure a more engaging learning environment, with more opportunities for active learning, for the children to let out some of their energy, and to allow for the differences of willful/independent children (which are positive attributes, although some teachers will tell you otherwise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do as much training as you'd like at home, but you're not likely going to be able to replicate the environment of a school classroom. Since you also can't be present when these situations occur, it really ends up being the teacher's responsibility to handle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fear not! It's not completely out of your hands. You can certainly offer some suggestions to the teacher to help them guide your child to a state of optimal learning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some ideas that may help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://education.cu-portland.edu/blog/classroom-resources/five-methods-for-addressing-a-child-not-paying-attention-in-class/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://education.cu-portland.edu/blog/classroom-resources/five-methods-for-addressing-a-child-not-paying-attention-in-class/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jensenlearning.com/news/teachers-why-you-should-stop-telling-kids-to-pay-attention/brain-based-teaching&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.jensenlearning.com/news/teachers-why-you-should-stop-telling-kids-to-pay-attention/brain-based-teaching&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.edutopia.org/classroom-student-participation-tips&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.edutopia.org/classroom-student-participation-tips&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2014/07/08/why-so-many-kids-cant-sit-still-in-school-today/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2014/07/08/why-so-many-kids-cant-sit-still-in-school-today/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidactivities.net/category/transitions-attention-getting-strategies.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.kidactivities.net/category/transitions-attention-getting-strategies.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, I feel that what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can do about your daughter's delayed gratification has already been answered best by Christine Gordon in the question you linked: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6356/11394&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/6356/11394&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She mentions that you should work on developing your daughter's ability to be intrinsically motivated by different activities, and offers some suggestions on how to do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This solution won't necessarily improve her classroom performance (especially if the issue is the classroom). Nevertheless, teaching a child to be satisfied by intrinsic motivation will help her be more successful with studying, homework, chores, self-learning, and work (when she's old enough). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A great book on how to encourage intrinsic motivation, and the drawbacks of extrinsic motivation, is &quot;Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us&quot; by Daniel H. Pink.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2014-12-26T01:50:38.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18073" CreationDate="2014-12-26T05:12:07.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find the Pattern:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you notice that she shows signs of sleepiness at 7-8 but never ends up going to be at that time, I would actually stay away from the bed until after 9.  Instead of winding DOWN at that 7-8, you might want to consider turning UP the energy.  Get excited, and EXHAUST her energy.  I'd also avoid naps or relaxing behaviors within a few hours of bedtime.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You can keep a journal of nap times, meals, snacks, and shows.  See if you can notice any pattern.  The time it would take is far less than the tantrum wastes.  If the tantrums are really bad, this is something to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Energy Use:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What I do to encourage sleepiness is use up all the energy that my daughter has left by having &quot;Dance Time&quot; or something physically demanding.  We will put on some music and dance and run all around.  Games of &quot;chase&quot; and &quot;hide and seek&quot; work really well at that time of the evening.  One minute, my little girl is running up and down the hallway, and the next is passing out with a thumb in her mouth (her tell-tale sign of being ready for sleep)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nutritional considerations:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also, make sure not to be giving sugar anywhere near bedtime.  Milk has a tryptophan in it, and can help, but as stated in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dairynutrition.ca/facts-fallacies/health-concerns/sleep-and-tryptophan&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;THIS ARTICLE - &quot;Sleep and Tryptophan&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, is best when combined with other proteins or carbohydrates to make the tryptophan more accessible to the brain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From above article:&#xA;&quot;Consuming milk or milk products alone is probably not going to induce drowsiness or sleepiness, because milk in itself does not contain a sufficient amount of tryptophan. Hence, milk and milk products can be consumed at any time of the day. Nonetheless, milk coupled with a carbohydrate food at bedtime can be a potential sleep aid.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TV &amp;amp; DVDs:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;On a side note.  DVD's and TV have an incredible addictive effect on children that young and it takes little to no energy to watch them.  Speaking as an adult of course, I know I can be virtually exhausted and still manage to get through a few movies or several episodes of a show, hours beyond the point of falling asleep if I didn't have that input. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/tv_affects_child.html#&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article on &quot;How TV Affects Your Child&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that kids under 2 years old not watch any TV and that those older than 2 watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of quality programming.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the factors in research about toddlers and TV or DVDs is about psychological reactions.  With several sources also stating that QUALITY programming is not harmful and in many people's opinions and studies, considered beneficial. So I am not saying to stop watching TV or DVDs.  However, being deprived of it could be a PARTIAL source for the tantrums while adding using minimal energy to stay awake to watch it.  It's something to consider.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would definitely NOT recommend using a DVD to help put the child to sleep as there are considerations on impacting their dreams, not to mention the reasons listed in David's answer.  &lt;strong&gt;Soothing and relaxing MUSIC might be a good alternative to a video.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note:&lt;/strong&gt; I am just a parent with no psychological training.  I DO spend much time working with and producing media and know that DVDs and shows that have products associated with them are also making efforts in the production to get children to crave their product, preferably in the form of a purchase of more DVDs or toys in the product line.  So there IS intention on the part of the production team in most cases to make your child WANT that show.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope some of this helps, as they are just things to try, or be mindful of.  Every child is different.  For the record, I don't always succeed at getting my girl in bed at the times I want, but these methods have helped me.  Good Luck.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11927" LastActivityDate="2014-12-26T05:12:07.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18108" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-26T07:25:29.453" Score="5" ViewCount="9468" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't stop thinking about this. I hope someone can help me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just as the title says, my mother is the one who struggles to make money while my father just &quot;eats, sleeps, repeats&quot;. He worked across the nation when he was young and earned quite a lot, so his thinking is, &lt;em&gt;My savings will be enough for myself, and my wife is doing okay with her job.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the money won't last, and the money my mother earns is not enough for us. I feel really sad that my mother works so hard but doesn't get much. She always prioritizes my needs and doesn't enjoy the earnings herself.  My father has experience and knowledge about business, but he is just lazy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you please tell me how to talk to my father about this issue and to tell him to get a job to provide for us? Your help is much appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11964" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2014-12-28T21:11:15.677" LastActivityDate="2020-10-26T14:56:32.647" Title="Working mother but unemployed father" Tags="|parents|working-parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18109" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-26T15:07:22.710" Score="1" ViewCount="215" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for a pushchair that has just one seat, but that seat can be used:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) As a car seat up to 4 years old&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Taken and put into the pushchair&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Also has a handle that I can use to carry the baby when I walk&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It appears most pushchairs come with just a separate car seat that only lasts till about 12 months, is there such thing as a car seat that will last a long time as well as work in a pushchair?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11921" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T21:48:58.650" Title="All in one car seat and pushchair that lasts up to 4 years" Tags="|toddler|infant|newborn|age-appropriate|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18075" CreationDate="2014-12-26T16:27:53.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the issue is not salad cream but more exactly :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;because I don't particularly like mealtimes being a battle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(quoting your original post)&#xA;I have seen children fighting back against parental control by picking a battle that Mom or Dad doesn't want to commit to. You want what's best for your child, so you try to limit some bad food. BUT you don't want to make meals miserable tests of will. You order them to do something and then you don't carry through on your order. Junior pushes through your disapproval, and wins the fight. Being a child they do not have a sense of scale on real importance.&#xA;If this more accurately describes the situation, then I'd suggest evaluating the importance of this issue. If it is not really important, ignore it. If you really believe that this is important then you must commit to the battle. Leave the bottle on the table, set your limits and establish clear consequences for failing to follow your rules. And you must be honest with your child. Don't threaten catastrophic punishment, but something you can follow through with. &#xA;If you do choose to commit to this battle of wills, I'd suggest that immediately after seeing an ocean of sauce, you get up, move your child to a time out corner, make them sit there for 6 minutes, and then apologize to you for using too much sauce. They must lose the sauce and the food they covered it with. You may have to substitute some alternative food. &#xA;And good luck. These battles about eating can be really tough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11966" LastActivityDate="2014-12-26T16:27:53.270" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18108" CreationDate="2014-12-26T16:38:46.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I applaud you for wanting to have this tough conversation with your dad. Here are some basic steps for starting this type of conversation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;State the problem:  &lt;em&gt;Dad, I noticed that you have decided to no longer contribute to the family finances.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;State the impact of the problem is having:  &lt;em&gt;This impacts the family. Mom can cover our needs with her salary, but there is no extra for savings, emergencies, or life's little extras.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;State what the future will be like if there is no change:  &lt;em&gt;If things continue as they are, we could run out of money. Mom could get burned out from trying to support us all. And if something happens to Mom, like she got sick and had to miss work for awhile, we would not be able to make our bills.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Invite the other person to talk about the problem: &lt;em&gt;What's going on that you think it's okay not to help out?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be aware that people only change if they want to change, and letting your Dad know how worried you are may not change anything. If the conversation elicits some emotion from him, that could motivate change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's happening in your family is mostly about the imbalance in the relationship between your parents, so ultimately it is they who will need to sort it out. You might consider having this tough conversation with your mother instead, since she is in a better position to negotiate change with your dad that you are. Simply change the opening statement to:  &lt;em&gt;Mom, I noticed that Dad no longer contributes to the family, and you are allowing it to go on.&lt;/em&gt;  Change the the ending question to:  &lt;em&gt;What's going on that you are allowing this to happen?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2014-12-26T16:38:46.493" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18112" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-27T01:34:52.273" Score="3" ViewCount="1820" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're new parents, so a lot of &quot;simple&quot; questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our boy does a lot of non-nutritive sucking during feedings.  His pattern is usually &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10 minute feed (or occasionally 10 minute non-nutritive sucking)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10 minute non-nutritive sucking, or just having the nipple in his mouth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10 minute power through sucking where he really gets his food.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this &quot;normal&quot;? Is this hurtful? The pediatrician said he should just feed for half hour, or he ends up burning more calories than he gets from the food.  WE sometimes extend to 35 and he finishes all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastActivityDate="2015-01-10T16:15:42.457" Title="Non-nutritive sucking during feeding?" Tags="|infant|feeding|twins|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18108" CreationDate="2014-12-27T04:21:49.810" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;By your own words, your father's belief and your's disagree.  Now most parents don't go around proferring the exact nature of their finances to their children, so on that basis I presume you are coming to your own conclusions without sufficient knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say that your mother struggles to earn money: welcome to life... we all do!  You say that she works hard and doesn't get paid enough: again, welcome to life... we all do!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, all of that in context, you must realize that all people have a different set of values.  Perhaps your mother and father have already discussed family finances and determined what they are willing to accept.  In that case, who are you to interfere?  I most certainly would not let my child interfere with family finances, though I do educate her about managing one's finances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be 100% straight forward, approaching your father to challenge his role in the family finances is 100% the wrong thing to do -- it is not your place and it is disrespectful for you to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, it is 100% in your place to be confused and curious and want to understand.  If you approach him by stating the facts and that you don't &quot;get it&quot; &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; you honestly listen to his reply so as to learn his thinking without the presumption of challenging him, then you will be doing your &quot;role&quot; (per se) as a child and ask your parent for guidance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may agree with his (and your mother's) thinking.  You may not.  You may even know that your mother's thinking is different.  It is not your place to interject.  Your parents are responsible for their own relationship and you are not their mitigator. Learn from them; love them; know that you'll occasionally disagree with them, but never think of yourself as appropriate to manage their relationship -- only &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; can do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2014-12-27T04:21:49.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18073" CreationDate="2014-12-27T06:54:14.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, getting a toddler ready for bed starts the minute they wake up from their nap. They have so much energy, it's up to you to make sure it gets burned up at the right pace to ensure there isn't a surplus at the end of the day. Unfortunately, unlike a surplus of wheat, a toddlers energy cannot be shared (in fact it sort of has an inverse relationship with a parent's energy level doesn't it?) So, here are my suggestions to help you keep your LO's output under control:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing I'd look at is her nap time. It's either at the wrong time or it's too long.  My kids never did well to sleep past 3 pm, or for more than 2 hours. Their bedtime starts at 7 and they are usually out by 8, 8:30 at the latest. Not napping is not a good idea at this age, except, on a day she sleeps very late, you might decide to skip a nap in order to ensure she's quite tired which will aid your effort to implement your new bedtime (not new routine, just a new earlier time). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, I'd look at her afternoon, starting with her activity level. Is she getting enough exercise in the afternoon? My kids swim in the morning (which tuckers them out for a nap VERY effectively) and play outside most of the afternoon-in all but the worst weather (bitter cold, lightning, downpours, or sweltering heat, all of which are par for the course here in New England). Or, if stuck indoors they will do some dancing, some tumbling, or some wrestling (I have boys). Anyway, the point is, kids need to move and be physical, (and not just because it makes them tired.) The key to this is that it should occur &lt;em&gt;well before&lt;/em&gt; bedtime. I disagree entirely with the advice given above to engage in physical activity just before bed. It gets the heart rate up and that is exactly the opposite of what state your child should be in before bed! Quiet time should start after dinner, with few exceptions (birthday parties, holidays, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other aspect of the afternoon that I'd look at is how much mental stimulation she's getting. If she's watching tv, I'd limit it to a half hour. Instead, puzzles, coloring, blocks, duplos, play-doh, dolls, or housework (really!) all get the mind going, which wards off boredom- another bedtime killer. If kids don't play during the day, they'll play games with you at bedtime (how many glasses of milk can I get out of mommy? Let's count!) Doing these activities after some physical activity ensures they won't wiggle right out of their chair, and helps them wind down so they can be civilized at dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, if your naps and afternoons are just like I described, the next places you can implement change is to dinner and bedtime itself.  I'm not going to get into diet too much, since I'm not a nutritionist, and since most toddlers I know are fussy eaters anyway, but I will mention that sugars and too many quick burn carbs will give your kid energy she doesn't need at the end of the day. I've become that villainous mom who doesn't let her kids have juice at dinner. It's milk or water. End of story. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on what time you have dinner, you may go right into your bedtime routine or you may have a few hours. If you have a few hours, try to: &#xA;• keep the energy level mellow by enjoying some reading, soft music, and light housework (include your daughter with clearing dishes, laundry, tidying) &#xA;•avoid tv, computers, and bright lights&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From your post, I'd say that your actual bedtime may need adjustment. If your daughter is showing signs of sleepiness at 7, you should aim to have her &lt;em&gt;in bed&lt;/em&gt; by then, not just starting her routine. Kids quickly go into overtired mode, especially if they have energy reserved. You want to avoid that at all costs! So, whether or not you are already doing all of the stuff I mentioned, the only thing you may need to do is move the routine start time to 6 pm so she's settled in bed by the time she's usually tired. Otherwise, go ahead and try any/all of the other suggested changes to her activity level or nap schedule. They should intensify her tiredness to the point where she falls asleep much quicker, and ensure there are no reserves to available reanimate her if a window of opportunity exists. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the bedtime routine itself, which you seem to already have established, I'd strongly suggest adding a bath. A warm bath works to calm kids by raising their body temperature and then dropping it (as the water cools, and then when they get out). This helps trigger sleep. A shower can work too if it's all you've got but a bath works better.  A bath with calming aromatherapy (such as lavender) bubble bath works even better! This will extend your routine a bit, but should shorten the overall time from when you start to when she actually falls asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I'd stop allowing my toddler to hold me hostage at night. If you're starting her routine at 7, and she's still demanding drinks from you at 10, that means she's dominating (at most), or at least disturbing, 3 hours of your evening. As long as you are giving her attention, she'll continue to take it. After you tuck her in and say good night, leave. And stay out. Let her cry. At 2, she's got to learn to settle herself. If she gets out of bed, put her back in and that's it. I won't elaborate bc there are other good answers on parenting se that go over this, but basically she'll eventually learn to just go to sleep because there's nothing else to do. (Staying up is boring if nobody's gonna play games or keep company!) some nights she might stay up for hours, but at least she'll know enough to stay quiet. If she's sufficiently worn out though, these nights should eventually be the exception and are nothing to worry about. You just can't make them them sleep sometimes. We all have those days, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum up: &#xA;1) keep nap short; time it right&#xA;2) get busy in the afternoon&#xA;; first physically, then mentally. Definitely both.&#xA;3) avoid sugars, especially late in the day.&#xA;4) promote quiet time after dinner to encourage winding down.&#xA;5) trigger sleep naturally with a bath and aromatherapy.&#xA;6) tweak your timing based on cues&#xA;7) be patient and persistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm confident you will be successful on your quest for a sleepy toddler before 10. You're on a path well trodden by weary, frustrated, and impatient parents. I hope my breadcrumbs hasten your journey, but if not, you'll find your own way. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-12-27T06:54:14.353" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18115" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-27T12:26:06.147" Score="2" ViewCount="176" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2y8m and he caught potentially gastro last week (threw up a few times, lost appetite). Unfortunately, as he's healing up from gastro, he caught cold (runny/stuffy nose + wet cough). He lost 1kg of his weight and considering he's not big/fat, we're very concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been getting better in the past 2-3 days as each day he eats more and have gained appetite. He ate a lot today and that's a very positive sign. He still rejected his milk ever since he got sick. He used to have a dislike with meat but lately he eats only meat! (with a bit of bread/rice). It's like his body is looking for a revenge of the lost-time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest challenge we're facing right now is his sleep cycle is totally out of rhythm. He usually takes nap for 2-3 hours from 1-4 or 2-4 or 2-5pm. He goes to bed at 9.30PM and sleeps at 10 or 10.30 latest and wakes up around 7.30am-8am. But in the last 4 days, his nap has been disturbed by what we thought to be Night Terror. Worse, occasionally he would had this Night Terror at night as well (been having that for twice in the past 4 days).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This prompted us to cut him off from any gadget usage (in general, he doesn't use gadget too much and whenever we told him to stop, he would eagerly shutdown the device). When he got sick, his consumption of his favourite cartoon show increased significantly and yesterday we decided to delete any access to his favourite cartoon show on all of our gadgets because we thought that could be one of the sources...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I said we thought to be Night Terror because of the symptoms but we also noticed that he couldn't get back to his nap after the episode (today is the worst, he couldn't go back to sleep both at nap and at night).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm writing this in the early morning because 2 hours ago, he had a relatively mild Night Terror (didn't scream on top of his lung) and couldn't go back to sleep now (from 2AM to 4AM, he slept at 10PM tonight).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're not sure if this is a Night Terror or Nightmare or something else because of a few observations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He couldn't go back to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He told us to leave the room (he said &quot;bye bye Daddy, bye bye [his-sleeping-aids]&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's angry but not scared&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His Nighttime night terror occasionally starts at 2 or 3 AM (not consistent)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yesterday night, the night terror was suppressed (it looked like he was saying something in his sleep but he managed to shake it off)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The episode could last between 15-20mins&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had Night Terror before in March/April this year before he turned 2 years old (and for a brief after he turned 2) but not as frequent as this and never touched his nap time. The Night Terror probably stops around May.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had started to sleep in his own room since July and had been sleeping rather well there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're tired and very concerned at the moment because this feels like circle of evil: lack of sleep =&gt; night terror =&gt; wakes up =&gt; lack of sleep, rinse and repeat... plus the screaming prolong his cough healing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the past 2 months, he's been a very good kid. Lately, he shown bad attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're not sure what's bothering him...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11972" LastActivityDate="2015-02-27T22:33:24.490" Title="Very Concerning Sleeping Cycle" Tags="|night-time|anxiety|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18112" CreationDate="2014-12-27T18:14:53.387" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You didn't answer our questions, so I'll give a rather general answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For very young or premature babies, nursing can be quite exhausting. This may mean that they will actively &quot;drink&quot; for a short while, then take a small break ( nipple in mouth, sucking or not), then start over. Sometimes, they will even fall asleep during the meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For breastfed babies, this matches the maternal let-down reflex (the milk flow), which comes in &quot;waves&quot;. Many babies will &quot;use&quot; the reduced flow for a break, then start sucking harder and thus trigger a new milk wave. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, not all babies are created equal: My firstborn took &quot;forever&quot; to drink (up to 45 minutes, but then he drank &quot;until the cup floweth over&quot;), my second was usually done in minutes (we dubbed her &quot;the hoover&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what would be my advice? &#xA;Relax. This is perhaps the most valuable piece of advice one can give new parents. I can't give you medical advice, but I will tell you, what I'd do (and did): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take our time. If my baby needs 35 minutes, why take the bottle or the breast away after 30? Many pediatricians have a tendency to &quot;interfere&quot;. Nursing time is a great time to relax together, to bond and to cuddle. Especially for the recuperating mother it ensures the necessary breaks. And find something to do, if necessary: read, make a phone call, close your eyes after a short night...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Roughly (!) monitor growth and weight gain. If baby is doing fine, she is not burning too many calories. She might be hungry sooner, she might be a bit more tired, because she took so long to nurse, but so what? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she's not developing well, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; I'd find a way to get more calories into her or talk to our pediatrician again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-01-10T16:15:42.457" LastActivityDate="2015-01-10T16:15:42.457" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18112" CreationDate="2014-12-28T04:03:27.777" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, answering myself in case someone else bumps into this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found that it was more nipple-tongue placement.  As new parents, we weren't super conscious of their tongues yet. Their tongue was blocking the hole in the nipple. As we placed the bottle in and out of their mouth, occasionally we'd get tongue blockage, occasionally free flow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we're aware of the tongue placement, and make sure we clear it, and reseat the nipple in case of &quot;no bubbles in the bottle&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastActivityDate="2014-12-28T04:03:27.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18109" CreationDate="2014-12-28T06:00:56.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lillygold.com/products/sit-n-stroll.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sit n stroll&lt;/a&gt; I've never used one but it seems to fit your criteria. Not promoting this particular brand, but it appears to be at least a good starting point for a search of comparable items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had the three in one system for my oldest child, but did not reuse it when I had my second and third. I think I do remember seeing the sit n stroll or something similar when I was shopping for my registry, and I'm pretty sure I passed on it due to the weight issue, and I knew I wouldn't be traveling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found having a good quality infant/toddler/booster seat plus a nimble, compact stroller (one that can be opened/folded with one hand is ideal) to be the most convenient and economical in my experience as a working mother of three boys. That's just my two cents.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Happy converting!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2014-12-28T06:00:56.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18123" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-28T22:17:23.797" Score="1" ViewCount="445" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3YO forward facing in a Diono Radian, and am expecting twins, who will be in Graco Sugride + base seats. From what I can tell, I have two options:&#xA;1) Radian in 3rd row, with infant bases middle and side. Means always having the third row up, cutting into trunk space. But then at least one of the infants and the older child are in the safer middle seats. &#xA;2) Radian in middle of 2nd row, with infant seats on either side. Means we have trunk space, but if we do need to use the third row, we have to shuffle car seats. And, it probably means going to either side of the car to get the infants out (but maybe that's easier than trying to lift a seat from the middle over another base?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts/suggestions would be appreciated. I've seen a lot of posts about three car seat configurations, but most of them aren't for twins and have one booster, one FF, and one infant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11982" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T18:35:32.430" Title="3YO and twin babies: car seat configuration in 2011 Honda Pilot" Tags="|car-seat|twins|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18048" CreationDate="2014-12-28T23:58:12.047" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found that the act of changing seating position sometimes gets a burp.  We now do this on purpose and call it baby yoga.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lay the infant out, butt on our knee/thigh&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;SLOWLY move them forward to a seated position. think of a slow abdominal crunch&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lean slowly back&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;repeat and smile at cute expression&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We alternate &quot;baby yoga&quot;, traditional pats&amp;lt; and rubbing their back with heel of your hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastActivityDate="2014-12-28T23:58:12.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14298" CreationDate="2014-12-29T08:07:00.593" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really hope that situation got better with this time. &#xA;If you are still searching for ideas, here is my proposition (based on a fact that I'm also from the 3rd world country, and had related problems in my family before)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on fact, that your mother doesn't want to completely leave you father you can try to do step by step (she still will be in a danger, but this option is if no other worked)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Invite her to visit you for a short time. 3 weeks is the best. 2 doesn't worth paying for the ticket, she may not want to leave him alone for 4 weeks, because love feelings - this can be an explanation for your parents. &#xA;When she is out of her living system you can slowly show her the difference. I'd suggest at the 2nd part of vacation. Small soft conversation about how it would be great to live together for long time, how she important to you and you still need her.&#xA; While talking about father do not qualify him as a world evil, but focus on damage that had been done to you, how it made you feel and what are the circumstances. You are still her child, and this way you are not the attacker, and she has to protect her love. But you are the one who suffered, so you can speak equally. Mother instincts always exist. It has to be done in a calm, safe environment so she can at least listen to your worlds. When she comes back home, she'll at least know that there something more than the life like that. And the idea will grow in her mind stronger with your love and support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I couldn't post it as a comment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11983" LastActivityDate="2014-12-29T08:07:00.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2014-12-29T15:13:34.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 25, and I love eggs, but I hate the texture. My solution is I eat them in toast. I cook them over-easy so the yolk is still runny, and then I mash the whole thing to pieces with my fork. After that I put it on buttered toast and eat it like a little egg sandwich. When I have more time I put hash browns on my toast as well, and sometimes bacon or sausage if I have it. It really helps to disguise the texture of the eggs, which are in my opinion, pretty unpleasant! I've been eating my eggs this way for as long as I can remember!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11986" LastActivityDate="2014-12-29T15:13:34.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2014-12-29T18:15:21.800" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;After reading Ellen Sattyr's book &quot;How to Get Your Kid to Eat but Not Too Much&quot; our policy is:&#xA;1. One dinner is prepared, everyone (baby/toddler included) gets a plate with appropriate portions, and they don't have to eat any of it. We make no comments on what they eat, or why they need to eat it.&#xA;2. Some known neutral side is presented (bread, tortilla chips, naan) that they can eat if they can't find anything to eat from what we put out.&#xA;3. That is all&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I learned from the book (based on studies - I don't own a copy so can't cite them) that bribing does not work (they know the food is &quot;less desirable&quot; and will eat it less later), it may take 20 presentations of a food before they'll try it, and that if you force them it will be a power struggle, and not about the food anyway. Also, &quot;obstacle eating&quot; - &quot;you have to eat this before you can eat that&quot; is the same result as bribing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has left us with a whole lot less haggling at all meal times, and I highly recommend it (been doing it 2 years with our now 4.5 year old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11988" LastActivityDate="2014-12-29T18:15:21.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18115" CreationDate="2014-12-29T21:39:24.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I went through Night Terrors when our daughter was around your son's age. She would wake up &lt;em&gt;screaming&lt;/em&gt;, hands balled in fists and shaking as though she saw something absolutely horrific. Talk about a terrifying experience for a parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't be terribly concerned with the bad attitude. Lack of sleep makes everyone grumpy. I would say once your son gets back into a regular sleeping routine the attitude will adjust accordingly. My son (almost 7 months old) is crabby when he doesn't nap during the day. I can't even imagine him regularly not sleeping!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go see a doctor. We took our daughter to see the pediatrician after about a week of recurring night terrors (and extensive Googling on our part). They should also be able to help you out with the post-gastro cold. And the it may be more than a cold at that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-12-29T21:39:24.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18131" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-30T04:34:23.713" Score="4" ViewCount="603" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a mother of three grown sons and have been a nanny to dozens of children. Last year I started babysitting 3 week old twins. They were only 2 weeks early, but their development is significantly delayed. They are now 15 months old. They neither talk nor walk. Only one (the boy) pulls himself up to stand - using the table or sofa for help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parents don't seem concerned and are still feeding them formula and applesauce!  I'm getting very uncomfortable about the twins' developmental delay and wish the mother would discuss it with me. She is an older, first time mother (44) and doesn't want to hear &lt;strong&gt;anything&lt;/strong&gt; negative. Am I concerned for nothing? I have raised dozens of children, but this is the first set of twins I've worked with since they were 3 weeks old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there was a problem, wouldn't the pediatrician say something to the mother?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11991" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-11T17:23:01.247" LastActivityDate="2018-10-11T17:23:01.247" Title="How to approach the mother of the twin toddlers I babysit about their seeming developmental delay?" Tags="|toddler|development|twins|milestones|babysitting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18131" CreationDate="2014-12-30T06:41:21.707" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unasked-for advice is tricky. No one can see what you see and know the parents like you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really believe the twins are delayed developmentally, I personally feel it's not only ok but ethically responsible to approach the parents, but not with just your dis-ease about the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you start by doing some solid research. Find out everything you can (it's pretty easy) about developmental milestones, such as speech and walking. If you're going to mention their diets, research that as well. It's completely possible that the parents just don't know much about how babies are supposed to progress, and aren't concerned enough about it to compare their kids to others. It's also possible that you'll learn they aren't that far off the charts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Armed with &lt;em&gt;facts&lt;/em&gt; gleaned from multiple reliable sources (if you're still concerned after your research), ask the mom if you can discuss some concerns you have with her (or, alternately, both of them). Just tell the truth, but make it about yourself, not them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just my fallible opinion, but I'd approach it something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;I'm sorry to be so dramatic, but I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about (baby x) and (baby y). In my limited experience, most babies (cruise, say their first words, dance the cha-cha) by now. I didn't want to overreact, so I looked at a few pediatric websites. I hope you don't mind. I did find (this) on (these websites). I would be so relieved if maybe you could run this by their pediatrician on their next visit? (They should have a 15 or an 18 month check coming up.) I wouldn't feel right about myself if I didn't bring it up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would not say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;I'm concerned that (baby x) and (baby y) aren't (cruising, saying their first words, dancing the cha-cha) yet. I've taken care of a lot of kids, and I think they're significantly behind on their milestones. I don't know (Dr. Doofus) but I can't understand why s/he hasn't said anything about it to you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is putting a bug in their ear, showing empathy for the concern you might be causing them, and is in keeping with your respective roles. And you can occasionally feed the bug if at first you don't succeed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latter, while it's straightforward and true, is a lot to give people suddenly. When people are anxious (which they will be as soon as you get it out), they have a natural tendency not to hear what you're saying and sometimes to react emotionally, not reasonably.*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for the best. I think it's great that you care enough to bring it here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt;I've learned this the hard way early and repeatedly.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2014-12-30T07:31:10.010" LastActivityDate="2014-12-30T07:31:10.010" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18133" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-30T09:54:26.207" Score="12" ViewCount="1692" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm very frustrated at this moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have 2 sweet sons (7 and 2 years old), and especially now during the winter holidays (we're all at home together, no school/kindergarden) we could do a lot of nice things together, but it's nearly impossible with them as they are dawdling and do not get ready for anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It starts in the &lt;em&gt;morning&lt;/em&gt; - I want them to have a quick breakfast/toilet/bathroom for getting ready for activities.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Instead they start playing something, ignore me, if they then finally are sitting for breakfast, it them takes ages to finish and it's nearly lunch time, until they are ready for doing something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same with &lt;em&gt;getting dressed for going outside&lt;/em&gt; (especially time consuming in fall/winter time, if it's cold or wet outside) or even getting dressed in the morning: it takes a very long time and drives me mad each time.&#xA;And you can imagine that there are &lt;em&gt;many other daily things&lt;/em&gt; to do, where we have similar problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I'm sure they/we absolutely need outdoor activities with fresh air/running around etc&lt;/em&gt;. And we do much too few of it because I just don't have the energy/motivation to push the children getting ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My frustration&lt;/strong&gt; is constantly increasing and I'm now at a point where I think:&#xA;I say once what nice things we could do today. If then they are not motivated enough to get help getting ready by themselves, we just don't do the activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said that finally leads to all of us staying at home mostly, the children are playing &quot;something&quot; for themselves and I'm feeling frustrated and incapable of having nice activities together with my children.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;And for sure it also leads to conflicts, as they have a lot of extra energy, they can't get rid of playing inside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Remarks:&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that such things can also lead to vicious circles as children might sense that their parents are not satisfied/ happy and then show strange (and unfortunately often &quot;bad&quot; behavior) as a response which makes things even worse.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I had a similar question some months before &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11984/6yo-wears-down-people-by-dawdling-and-endless-discussions-how-can-parents-help&quot;&gt;6yo wears down people by dawdling and endless discussions - how can parents help?&lt;/a&gt;, the current one is more about how I can get a positive attitude for myself, as I see that I'm already expecting their un-cooperatice behavior and very quickly will just resign and stop/avoid any outdoor activities with them.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T17:38:11.237" Title="How to escape vicious circle of dawdling - no outdoor activities - conflicts ...?" Tags="|activities|conflict|motivation|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14065" CreationDate="2014-12-30T13:45:46.443" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than sheltering our children, we teach them right from wrong.  We foster their intelligence so that they learn to trust and respect us, and make better choices.  Our children will be faced with violence and swear words when they go to school, so we decided that it would be best to expose them to it in a safe situation where they can ask questions in hopes that they will make more informed choices when faced with the harsh realities of society. Of course, no parent wants to damage their child's hearing so the volume should be taken into consideration. We're also not the parent's who are listening to Eminem or most mainstream rap. However, the rap we listen to still exhibits violence, bad language, misogyny and all of the &quot;isms... It's more of a political talk, sometimes simply wordplay or a story. There's a lot of explaining to do. So we don't play everything we would normally play when they're around, but we're not leaving them completely ignorant as to how crazy this world is. We want our kids to be kids, but we want them to be able to use their head. Just like Ice Cube says, kids are going to use bad language, but they need to know when they can and can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11993" LastActivityDate="2014-12-30T13:45:46.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18133" CreationDate="2014-12-30T14:57:06.447" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hear your frustration! I have a 5 year old daughter who is slower than molasses waiting on Christmas. The mornings have turned into a routine for us though. She used to get up and want to watch a show on TV before getting breakfast. We quickly learned that this led to her watching her show and not eating. So we put the rule in place that she couldn't watch the TV show until she was dressed, had her bed made, and was eating breakfast. Now she gets up, makes her bed, gets dressed, and tells me what she wants for breakfast before she ever even asks to watch the TV show. She even goes so far as to remind me that she's done everything before asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your situation, I would say removing the &quot;something&quot; that they are doing or want to do until they are ready to go will go a long way to getting them dressed and ready for the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children &lt;em&gt;crave&lt;/em&gt; structure and will follow the routine you set for them. Getting them into a routine from a somewhat unstructured morning will be more difficult. It takes time and patience on your part though. I would start off by letting them know what the new &quot;rule&quot; is (get dressed, eat breakfast, etc) and what the consequence(s) will be if the rule isn't followed. In your case, take away the &quot;something&quot; they're playing that is causing the dawdling. The most important part of this first step is the second step: &lt;strong&gt;follow through with the consequences&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be a case of &quot;it's going to get worse before it gets better&quot;. But given enough iterations through the cycle, your kiddos should pick up on the fact that &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; is the routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2014-12-30T14:57:06.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18133" CreationDate="2014-12-30T16:21:18.163" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the first step is recognizing that your desires are in conflict with your children's.  You are craving some special event time, and they have been craving unstructured time.  It's natural and okay to have conflicting desires with your family, just be aware the conflict exists and make a conscious choice about whose needs are going to be paramount at any point in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, you can say to yourself (and to them for that matter) that today you will let them self-determine their schedule, but tomorrow you will get ready quickly and go to the park.  This makes it feel less like they are being defiant, and more like you are making a fair trade.  If they dawdle on &quot;your&quot; day, you won't feel as bad about pushing them, because you made a conscious sacrifice for their wants yesterday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-30T16:21:18.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18131" CreationDate="2014-12-30T18:10:48.583" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has developmental delays (well, more like outright stopping now) due to her cerebral palsy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pediatricians tend to be much more relaxed than parents on the issue of developmental delays.  They field several questions from overly worried mothers every day, that almost always turn out to be nothing.  The kind of delays you're talking about are relatively rare, but not devastating.  Chances are, in a year or two they will be mostly caught up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be frank, if they're not ready to hear it, trying to convince someone their children have developmental delays is not very helpful.  I don't fully understand why, but for mothers especially it usually involves feeling like you've failed somehow at your most primitive biological duty, and that can be hard to accept.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternately, if they &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; accepted it as their own version of &quot;normal,&quot; it tends to come across like telling someone, &quot;Did you know if you were taller you could reach that more easily?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; helpful is providing strategies for what to do about the specific issues.  For example, &quot;I taught him sign language for 'eat' to help me know better what he wanted.&quot;  Or, &quot;I put their favorite toy on the couch and it helped them practice pulling themselves up.&quot;  Or, &quot;I read about an interesting way to help babies learn to chew solid food without choking.  Do you mind if I try it today?&quot;  Or, &quot;I found out our state has a free early intervention program to help kids who aren't walking by 18 months.  Might be worth checking out.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-30T18:10:48.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18133" CreationDate="2014-12-30T19:21:26.877" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well I certainly identify with this one! My daughters are 3 and 6 and we get a lot of this. Not so much on school mornings but definitely on holiday mornings. It's worse in the winter because there's more coats etc to put on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming you're already helping the 2-year-old quite a lot, and only expecting them to do really simple things by/for themselves? I'm guessing the delays are mainly from the 7-year-old as they're expected to be more independent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brian's suggestion of having a prize-activity (e.g. a short TV show) ready for them if they get ready quickly is a very good one. This technique has two advantages: first, it gives them an immediate reward if they do get ready in a reasonable time, and second, if they take forever then they're cutting into their TV (or other activity) time rather than making you all late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few suggestions for after they've had a reasonable amount of time to get ready and you've hurried them up to a reasonable extent and you've gone beyond 'slightly late' to &quot;I could have watched a half-hour sit-com in the time it's taken you to put on your coat&quot; and it's just getting ridiculous:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you're going by car, then just &lt;em&gt;go&lt;/em&gt; even if they're &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; ready. If they've got no shoes on then pick them up and carry them to the car. Strap them in, put their winter clothes in the boot (trunk) after them, and drive off. They can put their coats/boots/scarves on when you get there. Have an idea of somewhere nearby you might stop if they decide they need the toilet as soon as the car starts moving.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Plan with your partner or another carer/adult, in advance, that if one child is ready at the planned departure time (or reasonably soon after it) and the other one isn't anywhere near ready, then you'll take the one that's ready on a really cool trip that they'll love, leaving the not-ready one at home to do something very boring. Make sure the trip is mind-shatteringly wonderful. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Go to events which have a defined start time, so you can say &quot;if you don't hurry up, we'll be late for X&quot; (which for some reason is more persuasive to small children than &quot;If you don't hurry up, I'm going to go out of my mind with frustration&quot;, which you couldn't say to a 2-year-old anyway). Something like an orienteering competition, a group nature walk, or another outdoor event of some kind? Or just &quot;we're meeting X at the playground, it would be rude to be late&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Particularly with the 7-year-old, try to think of some activities which will take them a little way out of their comfort zone. At that age they can start to be very sure that they know everything and can do everything and don't need to listen to you as much. For us recently our older daughter did &lt;a href=&quot;http://goape.co.uk/junior&quot;&gt;this high ropes course with her mum and grandma&lt;/a&gt;, and that worked well - turns out you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; need parents for help sometimes! :) And she enjoyed it very much once she had (with help) got over her nervousness. Other out-of-comfort-zone destinations for this age group can be places which are busy/loud/dark, depending on the child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concerning breakfast, what I tusually do is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give them a reasonable amount of time to eat it, i.e. don't expect them to eat it super-fast. Some chatting is fine. I explain to the older one (she can tell the time) that we'll have (for example) 20 minutes to eat breakfast and then at 8:20 we'll finish breakfast and get ready to out.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When we're 5 minutes from the end of that time, warn them (&quot;Eat up now, end of breakfast time in 5 minutes&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When we get to the end of breakfast time, tell them &quot;End of breakfast time!&quot;. Allow them 3 more bites (we count them together) then take the bowl away together with any food it still contains. Allow them as many more drinks from their cup as they want.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach means sometimes they choose not to eat very much breakfast. I'm ok with that: if they were hungry they would have eaten more, they can always make it up at the next meal, and neither of them is under-weight. So that works for our family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2014-12-30T22:34:45.693" LastActivityDate="2014-12-30T22:34:45.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2256" CreationDate="2014-12-31T00:32:55.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife's cousin just recently gave birth 5 months ago but is now back to work. She says she breastfeeds when out with the infant and pumps when at work. She said she recently found a mobile website through a Facebook moms group called MomsPumpHere (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momspumphere.com/places/list/all&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.momspumphere.com/places/list/all&lt;/a&gt;) that loads a huge list of places in your specific city or state, where moms can breastfeed or breast pump when moving around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11997" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T00:32:55.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18133" CreationDate="2014-12-31T01:00:26.697" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thanks for posting this question! I also get tired from the constant coaxing, when my son is in that sort of phase. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you perhaps tried involving your older child in helping with the younger one? With lots of instructions and praise, and lots of explanations why it's important to do things such as finish breakfast. It would give him the attention that all children love, and make him involved so he'd be less likely to wander off on a random activity. And if he becomes more obedient and task-oriented, the younger one might be more likely to follow his cue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T01:00:26.697" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18108" CreationDate="2014-12-31T03:20:36.457" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is fairly normal for one parent to work and the other to stay home and look after children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is what happens in my family. I work full time, my wife works one day a week (her choice completely), and spends the rest of the time looking after our two children. I prioritize my families financial needs over my own gratification just like you say your mother does, that is also a normal thing to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't really see any problem other than your parents are not conforming to traditional gender roles but it isn't something you should worry about. Is your mother complaining to you about the situation ?, If that is the case you should ask her to talk to your father about it and not burden you with the problem because it isn't for you to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also when I was younger without children I also traveled a lot for work and earned more money than I do right now, the money was better but the work is a lot harder, constant traveling, living out of suitcases in a hotel and being away from your family is a high price to pay and does take its toll on a person. If i did that now we would be better off financially but worse off as a family, my wife would not want me to constantly be away from home not seeing her or our children. Maybe your mother feels the same way and has requested that he stop and is willing to work herself in order for him to be able to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T03:20:36.457" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18142" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-31T10:45:48.623" Score="1" ViewCount="701" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 month old has never been a great sleeper, in the hospital I expressed concern several times that he was not sleeping. When we got home he slept for 15-30 minute stretches due to poor latching (tongue-tie) until I started exclusively pumping. We started swaddling/white noise/bed time routine as well and he went to doing a 3 hour stretch in the early evening and then waking every 1.5-2 hours or so until the morning. At 3 months old he stopped doing the 3 hour stretch. Now at 4 months old, he'll do a 1.5-2 hour stretch and then he's up every 30-45 minutes until morning. His naps used to be okay but now he's completely regressed on those as well - doing only 2-3 naps the entire day for a total of 3-3.5 hours. Altogether he's not getting more than 9-10 hours max of sleep in a 24-hour period. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We suspected silent reflux so we got him a rock n play (he's never spit up), he sleeps in that and it doesn't make a difference. We've tried co-sleeping. We've tried the Mamaroo. We tried swaddling/not swaddling and do white noise. We've tried modified CIO (going in every 5 minutes). The only thing that gets him to sleep (or back to sleep) is milk. The past month though he only drinks when in the rock n play or in his car seat, he won't drink in my arms. He was 7 lbs 5 oz at birth and now he's 17+ lbs. At his peak he was drinking close to 45 oz of milk per day, but he's since tapered off to about 32 oz. Our pediatrician dismissed his sleeping patterns and told us he was at risk for being overweight (which sounds crazy to me because he only drinks breastmilk). People do regularly think he's around 8 months though. I'm at my wits end, I don't know why my son won't sleep. I can see he's tired and I know he needs a solid block of sleep. Has anyone else experienced this? Could it be allergies (he's got a bit of eczema on his eyebrows/forehead, I keep it at bay with Aveeno lotion)? I don't drink cow's milk and I don't eat anything soy/nut related because I'm allergic. All advice appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edit: just wanted to add, his tongue tie was fixed. and he was a very quick all-natural birth, we've been to a chiro to fix any alignment issues and it didn't help at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12000" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T13:58:44.087" Title="How can I get my 4 month old to sleep longer then 9-10 hours a day?" Tags="|infant|behavior|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18142" CreationDate="2014-12-31T13:58:44.087" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I would find a pediatrician that takes your concerns seriously.  Most babies are starting to sleep through the night at that age, and take a few naps during the day as well.  This kind of sleep pattern isn't sustainable for either of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, I would adjust his feeding schedule.  You didn't say anything about timing and amounts, other than implying you're feeding him every time to get him back to sleep.  One thing to try is taking the amount you're feeding him to get him back to sleep the first time, and make him take it before the long stretch instead.  The idea is to gradually make that feed bigger, until it covers his needs for the entire night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternately, especially since the doctor thinks he might be overfed, he may not really be hungry, but just wanting to suck for comfort.  Have you tried a pacifier instead of feeding him to get him back to sleep?  Some parents avoid pacifiers, but at a certain point the negatives of a pacifier are outweighed by the negatives of a sleep-deprived baby and mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T13:58:44.087" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18133" CreationDate="2014-12-31T17:38:11.237" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know where you live or what logistics you have to deal with, but let me suggest that you try to drop some of the constraints around doing the things you want to do. For example, if you live in a house with a yard, why not go out and play in that yard for ten or fifteen minutes even before anyone has any breakfast? Start the day with something fun for everyone, and then get into what has to be done before the day can continue? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know very well the frustration of wrestling a toddler into a snowsuit, scarf, hat etc and then being told they need the toilet. Asking them to go before heading outside is reasonable. But if they say they don't need to go, and you're only going to be in your own yard, why not take their word for it and suit up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if you have to go out of an apartment building and across the street to the park, then yes, it's a bigger deal that people must eat and use the bathroom before leaving. But since it's a holiday and there's less pressure, what can you all do together that's fun to start the day rolling? Play with toys, make a craft, whatever. At some point you stop and eat - they'll be hungry so less likely to dawdle over the food, and you'll have been aligned on other activities already so they're more likely to stay aligned with you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Presenting the eating, dressing, washing, and so on as &quot;things you must do so we can get to the fun stuff&quot; can often introduce a lot of resistance. Try some fun stuff first, then the daily obligations, then some more fun stuff, and so on. It's your holiday too, so try to enjoy it instead of worrying how fast it's going by without accomplishing the things you wanted to spend it doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T17:38:11.237" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18145" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18147" CreationDate="2014-12-31T19:13:29.383" Score="2" ViewCount="2250" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our recent purchase of a baby cot and mattress seems to be giving off a strong smell of paint fumes. The manufacturer does not specify what chemicals were used, nor does it make any recommendations of &quot;gassing out&quot; (leaving it outside).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further digging shows a whole bunch of concerns relating to &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;SIDS&lt;/a&gt;, and a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24548111&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;recent study&lt;/a&gt; apparently shows that 50% of a random sample contained known carcinogens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not looking to jump on the &quot;organic-everything&quot; train, but common sense tells me it's probably not healthy for our child to be breathing in paint/varnish fumes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of options;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Purchase a solid wood (oak?) cot which has not been painted/varnished.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Purchase a travel cot and replace with softer mattress&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Purchase mattress which has not been pre-treated&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ignore the fumes and accept risk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The upsides of using a travel cost would be not needing a buffer pillow around the edges to prevent head injury or stuck arms/legs, but it is lighter and more likely to topple over as child gets older. Another upside is they cost 3 times less than wooden cots and good quality ones do not give off any volatile orgnic compunds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However I'm not sure if there are other risks associated with long term usage of a travel cot (assuming the mattress has been switched out).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts/advice would be much appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12003" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-17T14:25:38.313" LastActivityDate="2018-08-17T14:25:38.313" Title="Baby cot furniture concern - toxins / volatile organic compounds" Tags="|safety|crib|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18034" CreationDate="2014-12-31T20:00:32.557" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can get them a tracking device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will know where you are without knowing what you do. It's a WIN-WIN solution. If they see you are with your boyfriend or somewhere in a safe place, it will give them peace of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what I'm planning to do with my daughters. I don't care what they do when they are adults as long as they are in a safe place... I mean if they agree, I guess. But I will convince them, lol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12004" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-06T17:51:37.937" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T17:51:37.937" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18145" CreationDate="2014-12-31T20:35:59.843" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have the links at hand right now, but my wife looked into this extensively both for cribs for our first and for painting our then-newly purchased house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her decisions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Purchase a solid wood (not particle board or any other glued-type processed wood) crib.  Varnish/paint doesn't seem to be very flexible; any crib will be finished, and the natural wood cribs will have VOCs in the finish just as the white/etc. painted cribs will - often more.  (Wood finish/varnish is worse than paint in most cases.)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Purchase one made in the USA (such as Land of Nod's Andersen cribs, which is what we went through).  USA (or Western European/EU) maker will likely use relatively less dangerous paints than in some other countries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Well ventilate the room so VOCs do not build up in large quantities.  Don't forget, your paint on the walls also contains VOCs likely, as will your floor if you have hardwood (and carpet has its own fun things!).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy a mattress protector that fully encloses the mattress.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the noticeable by smell VOCs leave fairly early on in the life (within a few weeks after painting/varnishing - and much of the noticeable by smell isn't actually VOC, so don't assume that is the case), if it's done properly; if you're still smelling them likely months+ after it was painted, it may be a sign of a bad painting job or some other problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could consider buying a used crib; the VOC level drops over time, after around 5 years you won't have very many VOCs given off comparitively, and can easily re-paint with a safer paint.  I assume you're not in the US from your word choices, but if you are, don't buy a crib made before 2011 (which admittedly gives you a fairly narrow range of dates...) as they aren't legal to sell due to safety concerns (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov/en/Safety-Education/Neighborhood-Safety-Network/Posters/Crib-Rules/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this link at the CPSC&lt;/a&gt; for more details).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do the travel cot option, I don't necessarily think a softer mattress is a good idea.  Harder is better for SIDS purposes, and most kids that I've known are even very comfortable sleeping on hard wood floors.  I'd also not assume it gives off nothing dangerous; it's probably largely plastic wrapped around metal legs, and both the plastic and (less often) the metal can be significant sources of risk.  BPA wasn't thought to be dangerous for a while, nor were pthalates, so who knows what next be found dangerous in plastics.  Properly finished/treated wood should be okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also remove the finish from the crib and re-apply a low-VOC paint of your own; this isn't all that hard to do (something like a 6-8 hour job to remove, then a few hours of work plus waiting to dry for re-finishing/painting).  Paint is better than varnish if you have the choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T20:35:59.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14065" CreationDate="2014-12-31T20:55:36.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent of children who are 4 and 6, I've been amazed at what things they seem to have retained from a time when I would have thought they were too young to understand it.  My son, in particular, seems to keep things at the back of his memory until such time as he gains the mental tools to actually wrestle with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds as though your husband's decision, however, is not based on the fact that your daughter is too young to understand the words but on a philosophical rejection of the idea that children should be &quot;protected&quot; from things such as bad language.  Personally, I think that even if it's inevitable that children will encounter the rough side of life, that the home/family environment should be maintained as a safe haven (and that's how I was raised).  I know plenty of adults, however, who were not raised that way, yet seem to be doing just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that this is your first child, your husband may be undergoing a rough transition as he watches his former &quot;playmate&quot; (you) transform into a figure of maternal authority.  Subconsciously, he might feel like a rebellious teen all over again.  The two of you may need to sit down and hash out some overall parenting philosophies that aren't based on specifics but rather on the larger picture of happy, healthy and safe little ones --and yes, part of that will have to include a level of trust in a partner whose decisions will not always be a perfect match for yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T20:55:36.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18149" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-31T21:04:32.393" Score="9" ViewCount="3843" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our other kids that are now grown have pretty much always done their laundry since they were like 13 years old. This son is 17 and probably has only done his own laundry, all on his own, like 10 times in his life. He has a ton of clothes, probably doesn't wear most of them, but I think he tries on a lot of different clothes and if he decides not to wear this shirt or those pants, he just throws them on the floor and they likely just sit there for 2-5 weeks before he starts doing laundry again which usually ends up with him begging for us to help him finish it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've already tried explaining that laundry really isn't that hard to do, just throw it in the washer, if there's stains spray some stain cleaner on that part, etc. That it really doesn't take that much time to do it, since most the time it takes to do laundry is the time in which you don't need to do anything since it's in the washer/dryer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously he has other cleaning issues. I just don't understand how he can care so much about his appearance when he goes to school, but be so dirty in his room with more clothes as the floor instead of carpet. Does he have too many clothes? Should we give/sell a lot of his clothes, because maybe it's just too many choices on what to wear, in that it makes it harder for him to decide? With less clothes he would need to do laundry more, which could mean that maybe he could start forming a habit of actually taking care of his clothes on a regular basis? What can we do, really?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user12005" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T01:39:57.420" Title="How to get a 17 year old son to realize that laundry is not that hard to do and to do it on a regular basis?" Tags="|teen|clothes|cleaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18149" CreationDate="2014-12-31T21:25:56.520" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a parent of a toddler and a preschooler, so I'm sure I don't know much about the fun specific issues of raising teenagers.  Something to look forward to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this really doesn't sound too different from asking my three year old to clean up his toys.  The question is really at its core one of three things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do we convince him that laundry needs to be done regularly?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do we teach him a good system for doing laundry regularly?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do we help him adapt his situation such that he can get laundry done regularly?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be some of each, or it may be just one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How we dealt with it with my three year old/are dealing with it (very much in progress!):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We tried talking to him to see if he understands why it's important to clean up toys.  He does, but he doesn't want to take the time out of playing to do so.  That's not something we expect to change overnight, so we're working on that - particularly pointing out when we step on a toy and hurt ourselves, he hurts himself, or a toy breaks, that it is because it wasn't cleaned up.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We worked out a system whereby he cleans up toys prior to changing to a different activity.  This means at most one mess is out at a time; and if we're going somewhere fun, he has to clean up before that.  Cleaning up before unfun things like bedtime or dinner doesn't work for us, but at least the system exists.  For a teenager I would expect a more dialogue-based approach where you help him develop a system, once (1) is accomplished.  Help him find a structure that works - whether it's always doing it on a specific day, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My wife bought a lot of generic bins/plastic boxes/etc. for organization.  This worked well for us because it not only made it easier to clean up (no piles, just boxes!) but it gave him something more fun to do (tossing things in boxes is more fun than neatly stacking stuff).  For him this may be as simple as a better form of laundry hamper; maybe he needs a door hanging hamper, or a toy basketball hoop over his hamper.  Talk to him and find out what would work, or take him to the Container Store or something similar (Somewhere with a huge number of hamper options).  Dorm room supplying stores are great (ie, Target/WalMart/similar 'superstores' near a major college).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3b.  We also are going to do some form of toy-draft after vacation is over where only some toys stay upstairs, and the rest go to the basement.  This is basically like a fantasy baseball draft: two boys, each have a certain number of 'picks', in order pick a toy.  After ten toys are picked, or whatever, the rest go in the basement.  Then, whenever they help with basement things [ie, laundry!] they can pick a toy to swap out from the basement bins and swap it with an upstairs toy that is theirs.  With your teenage son, this draft concept may be appealing: he picks his 'top ten' shirts, 'top ten' pants, etc., puts the rest in the basement - not thrown away/donated unless he wants to - and then if he wants to swap in an old item or buy a new item, it replaces something in the current wardrobe; this can be season based or just mood based.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach focuses on helping him find a way to do this himself; growing the ability to solve this problem from within, not imposing from without.  The one downside is that he may really not care about clothes on the floor.  If he doesn't, you may have to either a) live with it, or b) explain to him why you care and why it hurts you.  Over time people grow into not wanting floors filled with junk - but it's not necessarily there at 17, and it's not necessarily vital for it to be there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also separately suggest &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; helping him actually do his laundry, at all, full stop.  If he has 5 weeks of laundry and it will take all of two days to do, that's his problem not yours: if it interferes with you doing yours, then tell him you need to book time for a load at a particular time.  The biggest, simplest thing you can do is make him live with what he made when it's not really interfering with anyone else - because he'll remember how much it sucked when he lost a whole weekend to doing his laundry, and keep up better next time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T21:25:56.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18034" CreationDate="2014-12-31T22:47:08.680" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I lived at home, my parents asked three questions whenever I went out:  where was I going, who would I be with, when would I be back?  If they were uncomfortable with one of the answers, we would negotiate.  If the plans changed, I was supposed to call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hated those rules, until my parents pointed out one thing:  &lt;strong&gt;they &lt;em&gt;voluntarily&lt;/em&gt; gave that information to each other when they went out&lt;/strong&gt;.  It wasn't a controlling thing so much as a courteous help us not to worry thing.  After that realization, I gladly provided the information, and I was amazed at how much freedom and trust it afforded me.  My siblings continued to chafe at the rules, which engendered restrictions and distrust, and to this day they are jealous of how much I was able to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, if you want your parents to treat you like a responsible adult, then play the part.  Don't give them any cause for concern.  Don't give them any room for argument.  It's &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; difficult for a parent to argue with a statement like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My homework's done, and we planned a double date to see The Hobbit at the Regal tonight.  It's kind of a long movie and the people we're doubling with live over on the other side of the University, so I might be a half hour late, but my first class isn't until 10 tomorrow, so I should still get enough sleep.  Should I knock on your bedroom door to let you know when I get in?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it embarrassing to be &quot;asking for permission&quot; when you're old enough to get your own place?  A little.  However, if you do it right, it will soon feel like just two adults discussing their day.  It's really a small price to pay for the freedom and trust you are asking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T22:47:08.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18149" CreationDate="2014-12-31T23:06:30.997" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're focusing on the merits of planning to do laundry more frequently.  He is almost certainly already aware of them.  What's most likely going on is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prospective_memory&quot;&gt;prospective memory&lt;/a&gt; failure.  I have the same problem, but didn't have a name for it until a few years ago.  It's very difficult to understand for people with normal prospective memory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially, he needs some sort of trigger to prompt him to do his laundry at a time that is convenient.  For me, the normal triggers happen when I'm getting dressed and undressed.  Both of those times are inconvenient for doing laundry, because I'm either about to leave the house, or I'm about to go to bed.  So, I need to set up my own trigger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best time for me to do laundry is right when I get home from work, so my trigger is putting my hamper where I will literally trip over it after work.  Other prospective memory aids could be setting an alarm on a phone, putting a sticky note on a bathroom mirror, etc.  The important thing is that it isn't easily ignored.  Obviously, just seeing the clothing on the floor isn't sufficient in your son's case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If part of the problem is clothes he never wears anymore, he needs a convenient place to put those, so they don't get continually recycled in the laundry.  We put a too-small box in the kids' rooms when this starts to become a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2014-12-31T23:06:30.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18153" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2014-12-31T23:09:11.297" Score="40" ViewCount="5050" Body="&lt;p&gt;How could I help a smart preteen child (pre-teen) learn programming? He does well in school, and he has skipped 2 grades and is an introverted stereotypical nerd. He is very interested in web development and has mastered the fundamentals of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTML&quot;&gt;HTML&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cascading_Style_Sheets&quot;&gt;CSS&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JavaScript&quot;&gt;JS&lt;/a&gt;, which I don't know anything about (I'm not a programmer). He built a personal website from his knowledge. He's learned this from the internet on various tutorial sites and Stack Overflow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I encourage him in developing these skills? Is there a way to help with his learning given that I don't know programming myself? I don't think I can learn all that he has learned, since he spends so much time on it and is so devoted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the greatest danger is losing his motivation and quitting. Debugging can be frustrating sometimes, and I don't want him to stop because of it. In other subjects, I could help him work thru it, but with programming, I can't since I don't have any domain knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do to keep his motivation to code so that he won't likely get discouraged when faced with difficulties given that I can't overcome those difficulties myself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(not a parent myself)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9608" LastEditorUserId="9608" LastEditDate="2015-01-04T21:59:20.597" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T22:13:08.550" Title="How can I help a child stay motivated in learning to program?" Tags="|pre-teen|learning|gifted|" AnswerCount="20" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2014-12-31T23:37:11.357" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, in terms of helping the child learn:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Many/most schools have computer clubs. Encourage the child to inquire from other students, or ask the school professionals yourself. This will place the child with his peers developmentally, which is the biggest encouragement you can give.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to a computer teacher in the school if one exists. They may agree to help the child, or give advice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Similar to #1/#2, advertise for a tutor if you can afford one. A poor but brilliant CS college major may truly enjoy teaching a smart pre-teen, a lot more than less smart age peers they usually tutor. I know I did. The challenge (aside from the fact that you have to pay) is finding someone who's good at teaching - prior teaching or tutoring experience should be asked for, as well as ability to work with younger kids.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Online courses (Coursera, etc...) can be great, especially for an interverted nerd (&lt;em&gt;me looks in the mirror&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To challenge them point them to &lt;a href=&quot;http://rosettacode.org/wiki/Rosetta_Code&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rosetta Code&lt;/a&gt; and the &lt;a href=&quot;https://codereview.stackexchange.com/&quot;&gt;Code Review Stackexchange&lt;/a&gt; sites.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, if you feel they could use motivation for next steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the child is mature (likely is), show them average pay rates for various professions, and that software engineers are way up compared to most professions. This will make sure that he can look past the usual geek-bullying he is likely to encounter and has reasons to stick to coding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Point out that there are plenty kids like this (as you can see from personal testimonials on almost all answers here :) - he will likely be more encouraged if he doesn't feel like a freak even if he is introverted by nature.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:04.343" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T17:40:04.860" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18034" CreationDate="2015-01-01T01:14:16.360" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Couple of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You said&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;my parents want to control my every move my relationship; they will not let me go out unless I ask them for permission, I have a certain time I have to be home, they are constantly checking up on me, and because of this, now it has been almost a week that I have been unable to see my boyfriend. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, as someone who both was a late-teenager, AND a parent, what you described (a) seems quite reasonable on the surface, at least assuming they are reasonable about giving permission absent valid reasons not to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, there are degrees (are they not giving permission - with no valid reason - more than once a month, and check up on you every 10 minutes? Or is it more reasonable than that?  Do they give realistic reasons for not giving permission or simply say &quot;because I said so&quot;? You need to clarify in your question).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You stated &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am now old enough to make my own decisions and to know right from wrong, that I have the ability to care for myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly, it is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; about age (I met plenty of useless imbeciles with no sense or ability who couldn't take care of themselves at 30; and wise and self sufficient 15 year olds), but about demonstrated judgement and maturity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll touch on that below, but you need to start out &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; with &quot;I'm old enough to know right from wrong&quot;, but with &quot;Here are situations where I needed to know right from wrong before, and here's the proof that I chose right in them&quot; and &quot;here's how I cared for myself&quot;. Can you provide those examples to your parents? That would be the best approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your're operating on the assumption that you are right and your parents are wrong. While there's not enough information here to know if that's the case, you need to VERY strongly consider that they indeed are right. Or at least they are not as wrong as you assume in your drive to assert your independence. Some of the reasons may be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Research shows that humans who are infatuated with a romantic mate, especially in early stages of relationship, tend to have an incredibly strong positive bias in evaluating that person. In other words, &lt;strong&gt;science&lt;/strong&gt; (not your parents) says that you're basically blind to your bf's negative sides, pitfalls, and blemishes. That's how humans are wired.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You're operating under multiple other biases (sunk cost, blindness to opportunity costs, etc...). Again, no escape being human. Additionally, if this is your first serious relationship, you may be too concerned with losing it and feeling like you'll never find another bf, even if the current one isn't quite good enough (assuming he isn't). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your parents have a lot more experience than you. You may not yet have encountered men who'd lie and say pretty much anything in an astonishingly convincing way (people with ASPD - aka sociopths - are ~1-3% of population). They might have. Or, to use an old saw, your father &quot;doesn't want you to date someone like who HE was at 19&quot; :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You're at an age where modern western youths sadly don't yet have any clue how to think long term. It's just not something that the culture emphasized in the last 50 years. You personally may be mature enough to be able to consider if that BF and relationship is something a 25 or 30 year old you would say &quot;thanks&quot; to the 19 year old you... but the chances are you're not there yet, especially if that's an angle you didn't ask yourself before you read this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As far as how you can proceed, there's just not enough information in your question, and it's quite likely not enough information that YOU have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, as with any conflict situation, the first step is to try and figure out what the starting position &lt;strong&gt;and the reasoning of the other party is&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to figure out - honestly - with yourself, and then &lt;strong&gt;ask&lt;/strong&gt; your parents (&lt;strong&gt;not discuss... just ASK, and listen to an answer without arguing, even if you disagree or are hurt by what you hear&lt;/strong&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are there specific issues they see that makes them wish for more control? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Could it be that you're doing potentially dangerous things? (going to clubs, doing drugs, doing unsafe sex, whatever). See #2 below.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Could it be that they were spooked by something about your boyfriend (see #3 below)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Could it be that your lifestyle changed for the worse when dating (in general, or that bf)? Are you neglectful of your chores? Are you neglectful of your studies and/or job (or searching for one)? Are you doing things they find questionable (inappropriate clothing? drugs? party lifestyle?) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What reasons to they have to trust your judgement?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It could be that you exhibited poor judgement before, at least in their eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It could be one of &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; exibited poor judgement at your age and now are projecting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It could be they simply don't have a reason to trust your judgement yet and are opting for a safer &quot;no&quot; approach. This one is optimal as it opens a way to negotiate steps to let them trust you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, while I'm loathe to sound judgmental, I must admit that the fact that you are seriously considering moving out of your parents and in with your BF &lt;em&gt;simply because you couldn't see him for a week, once&lt;/em&gt; sounds to me like EXACTLY the sort of immaturity and lack of sound judgement that would be a very valid reason for them to need to control you and question your judgement and maturity. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are there specific issues they see with the current bf?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it something about him? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it something about his behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it something that changed in your behavior while you dated?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it the fact that you and him are intimate and the parents don't yet want to be grandparents?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it simply that they don't want you to date?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you get the answers to those 3 questions from them (and honest self-evaluation), &lt;strong&gt;you can refine your question to &quot;How can I address the issue given what I learned&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2015-01-01T01:21:34.023" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T01:21:34.023" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T01:26:17.677" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of things to add to user3143's excellent answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tools. Tools are not a substitute for experience or knowledge, but every craftsman/woman appreciates good tools, and they are something that you as a non-programming parent can help with. Some of the best are free, but if the kid wants an IDE, library, program, etc that costs any reasonable amount of money &lt;em&gt;strongly&lt;/em&gt; consider getting it. I find Photoshop for example to be invaluable for web development (my job). Get the kid some mobile tech to develop for. It doesn't have to be expensive, and you don't need to hook it up to a data plan, a used 2-year old phone &amp;amp; tablet will do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage the child to contribute to open source, learn how github works (if he/she doesn't already). Encourage the child to attempt to get school credit for personal projects (best grift ever). Encourage the child to write programs as gifts (I'm making a website for my 5 year old daughter currently). It helps in learning how to anticipate and deliver on other people's wishes and requirements, which will be important if you want the child to pursue a career in programming. Speaking of which...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming (possibly wrongly) that you are encouraging with hopes of this possibly becoming the child's career. If that is the case, there are a number of things a professional programmer needs to know that a hobbyist arguably doesn't. If your not at that point yet (the kid's pretty young) don't worry about the following list of pro prereqs: source code version control, teamwork, dealing with clients (whether they're bosses or customers), documentation (programs are for other people to read and only incidentally for computers to run), and work-life balance (our industry isn't the worst, but its a problem).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last but not least is RSI. Your child will be typing. A lot. I took a summer in grad school to learn to touch-type in the colemak keyboard layout, and I'm &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; glad I did. Worth checking out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T01:26:17.677" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18149" CreationDate="2015-01-01T01:39:57.420" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Really? Not much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't &quot;know&quot; (or much more likely, care) about how his room looks, you can't teach him now. He's making a choice, prioritizing, and it's not a high priority to keep his clothes off of his floor. For some reason or other, he is bothered more by the thought of cleaning up than by the mess. He may also have anxiety about the prospect of cleaning up such a big mess. Or not. Be glad he takes pride in his personal hygiene and appearance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does, though, live in your house, and if it's very important to you, tie keeping his clothes neatly to something he'll stop getting if he doesn't take better care of them. A reasonable consequence is no more clothes money. Plain and simple. If he works and buys his own clothes now, it's really his business how he takes care of them. It is not a fight worth having. Close his bedroom door when you are forced to pass it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, don't do his laundry. Don't help him if he's begging, panicking, or throwing a fit. Ever. You are not his laundress. You're his mother. You deserve respect and thoughtfulness. So does he, which  means treating him more and more like an adult (with the necessary tools for success in that venture).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you adopt this tactic (and I really advise that you do), sit down with him, inform him of your plan, and offer to &lt;strong&gt;help&lt;/strong&gt; him clean his room one last time, going over how to hang his clothes, how to do the wash, etc. Put two hampers in his room: one for dirty clothes, and one for clothes he no longer wants or wears. Empty the one he no longer wants whenever you know you're going to be going to drive by a donation box.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, ask yourself what really matters to you and what you want your son to learn before he moves out of the house, and put your energy there. If you're worried others will judge you by his behavior, don't worry about it; they will whether you worry about it or not, so don't bother. Wise people know mothers don't teach their kids to throw their clothes on the floor or any number of unlikely personal choices their children make. Refuse to feel guilty or disconcerted about his choices. They are his, not yours. Better to have heart-to-hearts about things that can kill him (alcohol/drugs + driving, alcohol/drugs) or severely affect his plans (unwanted pregnancy, toxic relationships, how to disagree with people without disrespecting them, setting good boundaries, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a rather long and rambling answer, but my 4 are grown and married now, with two of them having been terrible with their clothes/rooms. Now they have spouses to motivate them, and I refuse to feel responsible for behaviors I didn't encourage (but I do own up to things I did wrong.) I still have to bite my tongue sometimes, but it's the right and respectful thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T01:39:57.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T03:28:56.180" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having learned software development myself in much the same way (although in the early 90s there was a lot less useful material readily available online and so I found/bought books as my primary source of info), I can say that the most important thing the kid needs he already seems to have: Motivation to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other answers here offer good suggestions, including elements such as involvement with like-minded peers, helping gain familiarity with tools and as simple as it sounds, learning to type efficiently is key (otherwise entering any sort of information into the computer tends to be so arduous that you can hardly confront the idea of solving major problems with code).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also add: Encourage this young person to select a goal/project of his/her own choosing and stick with it to completion.  This may take several attempts, and the first one(s) may be left incomplete, be too ambitious, eventually become boring, etc.  But learning to get through this and actually produce something of quality that someone uses (could be an open source project, or something used at school or by friends, etc.) - that's an important point and a vital step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I learned a lot about programming around that same age (10-12), but when I was thirteen someone actually offered me money to program something for them, and it had a deadline associated with it.  That was a different experience.  While it had some stress associated with it, it also made me responsible.  I had loads of incomplete projects and brainy ideas, but it wasn't until someone helped coach me into the discipline of delivering whatever software I was writing (and have it be decent enough and workable, not an overly buggy pile of crap), that I actually consider that I &quot;became a real developer&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's my two cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12007" LastEditorUserId="12007" LastEditDate="2015-01-01T04:11:59.903" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T04:11:59.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T05:18:33.227" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was once in a similar position. I was a pre-teen who was eager to learn about programming and I was exhilarated by watching a computer execute commands as I instructed. I wasn't interested in web development, rather I was initially interested in quite the opposite: hacking/exploiting. Nonetheless, I believe my experience with learning to program will be relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the key to teaching a youth how to program is encouragement. This is something I wish I would have had more of. My parents are not exactly tech-savvy nor is anyone in my family, and because of that, I did not receive a lot of encouragement or support in learning/honing my programming skills. You have taken the right step by asking others for their thoughts and that shows you are supportive of his interests. The best advice I can give to the parent/guardian/mentor of a child who's interested in programming is simple: do not let them become discouraged or overwhelmed. A child can easily feel discouraged or overwhelmed when working on a large problem. It is your job to make sure that doesn't happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how you can encourage him, that's a little more complicated. Every child is different. My parents started being supportive and encouraging when I was in my final years of high school. I found the most encouragement when they would come into my room, sit down with me, ask about what I was working on, listen to me explain it in detail, watch me run it for them, and appear to be interested. Today I no longer believe my parents harbored much interest in my explanations or details, but at the time I was convinced they did and it helped me feel satisfied and accomplished with my work. Take the time to sit down with him, look at what he has built, discuss it with him, ask questions, and seem enthused. It will make him feel special and it will provide positive reinforcement. You may not be able to offer him help or show him how to do something, but your interest will give him the fuel he needs to find the solution for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the best ways to learn programming is to find a difficult goal and make that a focal point of development. In my case, I focused on one particular goal when I was 16. I was focused on developing a program to exploit a very popular android/iphone game at that time. I became fixated on that goal and worked toward it for months. Finally I was able to build an application for it and then my goal became more broad. After I reached that goal, I then worked towards expanding the program and adding more features to it. Over the next year and a half, I made multiple programs which accomplished that goal and housed features I never once thought I could achieve. I will say, my motivation to expand further was money. I created an online business that sold the game-exploit software I wrote. However, his motivation can be anything. It does not have to be money or selling what he creates. He can simply find motivation in the satisfaction of achieving an end goal. It does not matter what motivates him, what matters is that he is motivated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some of the best resources I have found for learning to program:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;YouTube: This may seem like a poor suggestion, but let me explain. Search for &quot;[Whatever language he wants to learn] tutorial&quot; and choose a playlist. There are many great tutorials for a lot of languages on YouTube ranging from beginner to advanced.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Khan Academy: I did not find this until a year ago, but Khan Academy has a free programming course. I skimmed through the course and it does seem to be a very good course for a beginner programmer. It covers the basic concepts and it is very understandable. It could be a good resource for him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;TeachMeComputer&quot;: TeachMeComputer is the YouTube name of a man who was created great tutorials for Visual Basic .NET and PHP. He has organized all of them and provided additional content on &lt;a href=&quot;http://howtostartprogramming.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;www.HowToStartProgramming.com&lt;/a&gt;. With the child's interest in web development, this could be a valuable asset for learning PHP. I believe VB.NET is a great beginner programming language, so that set of tutorials might be very useful to him as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;: My apologies for assuming you were the parent. I did not notice the last line of your post which says you are not. Despite that, I believe my answer might still be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12013" LastEditorUserId="12013" LastEditDate="2015-01-01T19:06:45.310" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T19:06:45.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T14:36:49.013" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is good at HTML CSS and JS without prompting he already has a knack for it. If he wants to sharpen his skills why not point him to &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.codeeval.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CodeEval&lt;/a&gt;? By completing these challenges, he will get a feel for whatever language he picks up, and if he picks up multiple all the better (coding languages are like human languages after all, the more you know, the easier it is to learn the next one).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's the extensive reading type, you might grab some required readings from a CS101 class at your nearest university. If he can already program then these won't be over his head and may even interest him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11372" LastEditorUserId="11372" LastEditDate="2015-01-01T15:40:49.923" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T15:40:49.923" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18131" CreationDate="2015-01-01T15:08:18.240" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just for completeness - you also need to see if it's just the speech, or many other developmental markers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason is that - as I was told by many pediatricians - twins tend to exibit major developmental delays specifically in their speech &lt;strong&gt;because of the existence of the twin&lt;/strong&gt; - the communicate non-verbally and thus experience less need to learn to talk. I don't have research to back that up but heard it about many twin pairs, both from parents and pediatricians.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T15:08:18.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T15:16:59.293" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start with Scratch: &lt;a href=&quot;http://scratch.mit.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://scratch.mit.edu/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Scratch is a free desktop and online multimedia authoring tool that can be used by students, scholars, teachers, and parents to easily create games and provide a stepping stone to the more advanced world of computer programming or even be used for a range of educational and entertainment constructivist purposes from math and science projects, including simulations and visualizations of experiments, recording lectures with animated presentations, to social sciences animated stories, and interactive art and music.&quot;  WP&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10020" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T15:16:59.293" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T16:15:21.410" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am currently at a young age and have been programming for several years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was first introduced into C when I was around eight, although I haven't touched the language much. I focus more on web development and design, although I have fundamental knowledge of Java for the &lt;a href=&quot;http://jd.bukkit.org/rb/apidocs/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bukkit API&lt;/a&gt; and I will soon be expanding onto either Objective C or Swift.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my current experience, it's best to learn via yourself. I find it more difficult at a younger age to learn from other people, but rather trial and error. I know that many schools offer computer clubs and such, as to which I was asked to attend but denied, although I don't feel as these suffice for me. Being a younger age, people generalize that us children are not capable of what they expect. I know that I'm more knowledgeable with various programming and scripting languages with many adults that assume my level of knowledge on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I first started with programming I would watch many online tutorials, although only visual tutorials would help me. Reading and interactive resources wouldn't help me at all, although videos also limited me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would copy code from videos and explore how it worked. I would research certain functions and experiment with the language until I had intermediate knowledge of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel as though being a child, I'm limited to what I can achieve. Theoretically, I could be classified as a 'Nerd' or such for having such a broadened range of knowledge for computing and programming, although it isn't much help for me. I'm unable to focus my full time on computing and programming for barriers such as school, family and friends. If I were an adult, I believe that I could expand on my knowledge quicker and learn more, although it's different per person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, if you don't want to read my cluttered text, I just recommend letting the child learn by himself. He's most probably in the same position as me feeling limited, although if you leave him be I'm sure he will find resources that help him rather than being given resources that won't help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I apologize for any grammatical errors for I am still a child myself and am not capable of writing in detail or in the structured way an adult with more experience and knowledge would be able to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope my information helps however, even though it's quite broadened information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I would not recommend using tools such as scratch or auto-completion or automatically generated code tools as these would defeat the purpose of programming. Scratch consists of common sense rather than programming - this isn't how one should view programming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12024" LastEditorUserId="12024" LastEditDate="2015-01-01T16:22:53.627" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T16:22:53.627" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18167" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-01T16:23:33.513" Score="52" ViewCount="8052" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child just turned 14 years old, and one of his hobbies is programming. He knows JavaScript, HTML, CSS, jQuery, Ruby, Python, some Java, and a bit of C++, Bash, and PHP. He also uses Git, Vim, and LaTeX. Now, I am not able to either talk to him about or work with him on these, because I'm not a programmer myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering this, how can I help him interact with other programmers at a similar skill level? Only a few of his friends from school or other activities also know how to program, none very well. We are not aware of any teachers or adults in his school or other outside activities who are programmers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has already made plenty of acquaintances on Stack Overflow and other programming-related SE sites (and chat), but he wants more of a way to actually meet people in person that he can relate to, socialize with, etc. in order to learn and grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;note: I am actually the child, not the parent, in this scenario, but questions from a child's point of view seem to be &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.meta.stackexchange.com/q/226/12011&quot;&gt;on-topic as per meta&lt;/a&gt;. Nevertheless, I have posed this question as if I were the parent. This is also related to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/18153/12011&quot;&gt;this recent question&lt;/a&gt;, but not asking the same thing.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12011" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-01-06T16:53:26.220" Title="How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?" Tags="|social-development|pre-teen|learning|activities|gifted|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T16:41:50.500" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a programmer and to some extent being 'that kid' myself I'd say that things like (cheap) embedded hardware kits such as the Raspberry Pi or Arduino are the way to go.  These kits are usually quite cheap (the Pi is around $30 and is powered by a phone charger).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young programmers are not interested in getting a proper grasp of programming concepts like writing secure / high-quality code.  Until it becomes a habit it gets in the way of just making things work.  I liken it to chemistry in that knowing the intricate details of why Mentos and Diet Coke make a big fountain is far less interesting than messily experimenting in the yard with soda and sweets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young programmers learn many bad habits from online courses and code samples.  They are usually poorly engineered and built to work only under optimal conditions.  Good programmers build for all those odd little 'edge cases' where things aren't quite what was expected.  At some point they will have to unlearn all the bad behaviour and avoiding the 'professional' environment until they're ready is a good way to help stop bad habits from forming.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're motivated to play and they may as well play while they're still a child and while they want to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking hardware / circuit boards and actually making something encourages creative skills which are frequently (stereotypically) lacking in children with those kinds of interests.  As a young programmer, there is a good deal more satisfaction in the 'I made THIS' and of a bug in the code having the potential to actually break something.  Plus when you've finished building it you can play with it for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly - for the non-programmer it is much easier to praise something physical whose purpose is readily understood.  That in turn leads to higher praise and more constructive conversations than code/programs on a screen which end up turning into 'bug hunts' or that need an explanation which is longer than the demonstration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T16:41:50.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T17:16:07.953" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Folks have already added some great suggestions.  The only thing I can add would be to find something that he already likes doing, that programming would give him a competitive advantage in.   For example, if he likes video games and knowing how to code means he could mod his system or software (yes I know this could lead to cheating) to give him an advantage, then perhaps that is a way to get him hacking away at the code and learning how to bend the behavior of an application to meet his needs.  It might be silly things that he starts hacking away at; but with time, his skills would grow naturally without becoming a chore.  When people enjoy what they do, they learn faster and continue to evolve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12014" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T17:16:07.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T17:47:03.010" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other answers here are fine, but I'm worried there is one important fact that everyone overlooks :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;an introverted stereotypical nerd&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm myself this kind of person and you can't imagine how hard life is when you're shy and literally afraid of talking to others (this seems to be called social anxiety), so if possible you should take care of this before anything else, if not I'm afraid he would use programming as a &quot;refuge&quot; from real life (like I did for a few years) and that would give him trouble in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user12026" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T17:47:03.010" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-01T18:07:11.953" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do not want to say that you are out-of-luck, but you are pretty much out-of-luck. The issue is that most people around your age do not know those languages. In fact, most people around your age likely do not even know what most of them are. If you asked most 14-year olds what Vim or LaTeX is, many of them would have no clue at all. Some might know what Java, HTML, and JavaScript are, but many of those would not know how to use them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you truly are knowledgeable in all of the languages you listed, then it will be difficult to find anybody your age who is at a comparable skill level. If you will entertain it, let me tell you about myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had an interest in computers since I was a young child. I did not really start to learn how to program until I was around 12 or so. However, once I started to learn programming, I was enthralled and captivated. I would print off multiple pages from C++ websites to read during my classes. I did countless tutorials on my laptop at home. And I was constantly searching for explanations of programming topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a sophomore in high school, I took a one semester programming course. I loved it and did well in it. The next semester I was offered the chance to join an advanced programming course which consisted of only 3 seniors. I accepted this offer and there I was in an exclusive programming class with 3 other students who were much older and wiser than me. I struggled through that course and talked to my counselor about dropping it, but I stuck with it and learned a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After my sophomore year of high school, I moved to the DC area and attended what is considered one of the best technology/STEM public high schools in Northern Virginia. I enrolled in their highest level programming course with hopes of meeting kids as interested as I was with skills that surpassed mine. Within the 3 months of the summer break leading up to school, I picked up a couple more programming languages and learned how to use them fairly effectively. When school came around, I walked into the classroom with excitement, but before long I realized a tough fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realized that even at one of the best STEM high schools in Northern Virginia, I could not find anyone who matched either my interest level or knowledge. It is a rough fact, but there are not too many people who are both knowledgeable and interested in programming/development until you get to college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In agreeance with Kondax Design's answer, you can find adults who are interested if they're willing to discuss it with you. The first friend I made who is above my skill level and just as interested as me is actually my boss and the CEO of the company I now work for. I met him shortly before I started college and I can truly say, both he and my colleagues are the first friends I have made who share my interest level and are knowledgeable in development and programming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, and again I must apologize, there are not too many people you will encounter at your age who will match your abilities and interests. To discuss programming and development with people, I would recommend forums/discussion boards and talking to adults in the field.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With all of this said, as you are a minor and I am providing you advice, I feel the need to remind you to use caution when finding people online and in your life who share your interest. The world and the internet are dangerous places filled with many less than savory people. I am sure you've heard it a million times, but just use caution. I must add that disclaimer for the sake of my conscience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12013" LastEditorUserId="12013" LastEditDate="2015-01-05T18:04:43.097" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T18:04:43.097" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18175" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-01T19:17:46.207" Score="10" ViewCount="39583" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby boy is almost a year old and most of the time doesn't want to eat his food. He occasionally has a good meal but most of the time just messes around, throwing food on the floor, spitting out food after hardly even taking a bite. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have read several of the other answers about encouraging a child to eat which mostly suggest to let the child decide for itself and it will eat if its really hungry and to offer a variety of foods, particularly giving the opportunity to feed themselves finger foods for older babies. I already do the second part and my son does enjoy feeding himself when he's interested in eating but that doesn't happen very often. Sometimes he can be tricked into eating something that he otherwise refuses but this is not how I want him to learn to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be happy to let him decide for himself whether he's hungry and I don't want to force him to eat and give him negative feelings towards food but my problem is that I know he's not eating enough as he keeps me awake most of the night wanting to drink milk. He is breastfed. I have tried settling him other ways than feeding but if he hasn't eaten well in the day he will wake three hours after going to bed and cry inconsolably until I give him milk. Then he wakes several more times in the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried to be patient and accept that 'food is for fun until you're 1' and all that but he'll be 1 in two weeks and I feel we should be seeing some progress with increasing his solid foods. I certainly feel he should be going longer than three hours at night without a feed at his age. He sometimes has managed 6 hours when he was much younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel stuck as I can't see a solution that fits my desired parenting style whilst maintaining my sanity, not being too upset with my son and getting enough sleep to function at work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me I have three options, none of which I really feel happy with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Weaning my son from breastfeeding - I don't want to do this as I feel that apart from the excessive night waking, our breastfeeding relationship is more enjoyable and we both get more out of it than we ever did when he was smaller&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Deal with a lot of screaming at night&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put up with lack of sleep and get frustrated with my son&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son wakes so frequently at night that the only way I can survive is to co-sleep after the first waking. I've tried sleeping in a separate room but it doesn't help and I've tried putting him back in his cot at night but he often wakes soon after. I don't really want to co-sleep either but otherwise I'll sleep even less. I could even accept one or two night feeds for a while longer if it allows us to continue breastfeeding but I can't deal with waking every one to two hours for most of the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know another way I can help him to learn to love his food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2019-09-18T23:41:45.350" Title="1 year old baby won't eat in day, drinks milk all night" Tags="|sleep|breastfeeding|eating|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T20:31:55.117" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to add one point to the answers given here.  If you can do so while still maintaining their interest, try to encourage studying of how the languages work (theory of computing, language paradigms, etc), maybe from reading textbooks and not just language syntax and documentation.  Trial and error is great for learning &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; works, but understanding the &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; behind what does or doesn´t work in programming is vital to becoming a software developer instead of someone who is just interested in getting the task accomplished without regard to how well the code is written.  Just my two cents as a software engineer who has seen the difference between the ¨it works, so it must be perfect¨ mentality and the idea of writing clean code that works well, is scalable, adaptable, etc.  Studying the theory can really help this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12032" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T20:31:55.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-01T20:38:53.690" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Contact your local library. It is part of a library's mission to promote education, to facilitate knowledge creation, and to foster a sense of community. They run interest groups of all kinds, and if your local library is large enough, they will likely even have a tech guru of some kind on staff. If you can get a group started in the library, you have the advantage of it being a reasonably safe place to meet with strangers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T20:38:53.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-01T21:12:41.330" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations to this young mind for already having an incredibly marketable skill at the early age of 14! How cool is this kid. (Im a programmer so pardon me while he geeks out). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First of call encourage this its a great skill to have! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An entry level programmer can start at $30,000-50,000 a year depending on the area. Advanced programmers (usually titled as Engineers) can make six figures easy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All of the resources that he needs to learn, have fun and continue to improve are free online, Ill post some links below.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Even though programming is fun, keyboards and desks take a rough toll on the body. The young padawan has started at a very early age, he needs to consider some physical activities to make sure hes not getting carpel tunnel at 16. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I STRONGLY suggest yoga, and in its simplest form just do a YouTube search and do 15 min of stretches every day that hes not at school or some other activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may think I'm joking (especially as a 14 year old) but the industry is very.... heavy... mainly because a programmer sits in one position and types. Build good habits now.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Link Love:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.codecademy.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.codecademy.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://code.org/learn&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://code.org/learn&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.khanacademy.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.khanacademy.org/&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- Learn just about anything&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://robocode.sourceforge.net/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://robocode.sourceforge.net/&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- Build your own battle robot (I did this in college, hours of fun :)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://stackoverflow.com/&quot;&gt;https://stackoverflow.com/&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- Ask your peers for help&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.w3schools.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.w3schools.com/&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- Help Docs for several good languages related to web development. (HTML/CSS/JavaScript etc)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://notepad-plus-plus.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://notepad-plus-plus.org/&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- Free basic IDE (Integrated Development Enviroment (where you write code))&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+program&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+program&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- YouTube has a video for just about everything. This is really helpful to get things installed the first time etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many MANY more resources out there but once he looks at these he will be able to find more from links etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-05-23T12:41:56.407" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T16:49:31.670" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-01T22:06:36.413" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I meet people at local meetups. Where I live there are about three Python meetups a month.  My experiences have been great: excellent programmers who just like to talk shop. While you will likely meet others at your skill level, you won't meet people at your age level. It will mostly be older people (e.g. college age or higher), but if the goal is to talk shop in person, that's your best bet. Obligatory caveat: exercise caution and go with a parent, at least at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there isn't a local meetup, you could start one on general programming or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option, if the goal is to talk shop, not meet similar-aged peers, is to find and take a local college course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12037" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T22:06:36.413" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-01T22:28:26.520" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When your skill level is beyond what is considered normal for your age group, you have to do your in-person networking the same way the adults do&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Conferences&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Workshops/classes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Meet-ups&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, given your age, you might have a difficult time socializing with the people you will meet this way.  People will assume that you're there with your parents, rather than because you are their peer.  You'll have to make an effort to prove that you're in the right place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, consider finding a hobby that is likely to overlap with other programmers (maybe not now, but the people you will meet are fairly likely to go into a tech or science field).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chess club&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Magic the Gathering&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tabletop RPGs (like AD&amp;amp;D)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Board games (like Settlers of Catan)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should be able to find where clubs/groups like these meet by checking with your local library, board game store, or comic book store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9959" LastActivityDate="2015-01-01T22:28:26.520" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-01T23:49:07.943" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Go to a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hackerspace&quot;&gt;hackerspace&lt;/a&gt;. They are everywhere in the world, and they are places where 'hackers' meet, in the sense of good-willing computer experts. It's mostly adults, but if you are lucky there are also some teens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of projects to work on, such as programming software, 3D printers, soldering, etc. And other people can participate in your project, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a look at the list &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://hackerspaces.org/wiki/List_of_Hacker_Spaces&quot;&gt;List of Hacker Spaces&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12040" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-01-02T22:45:50.797" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T22:45:50.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-02T00:18:44.357" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Never forget that there are two goals, which may sometimes conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have fun programming&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Become a great software developer&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep those two in mind, because if you make decisions without being conscious about which of the two you are prioritizing, you may not get the right balance. Always prioritizing the same over the other won't turn out well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somebody who is teaching themselves how to program without guidance from more experienced programmers may teach themselves some bad habits, which they will have to unlearn later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If getting a tutor for the kid is an option for you, then it could be very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage the kid to get involved in open source projects, as that can provide multiple benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You learn to work together with other people on a project, which is crucial if you hope to one day do programming for a living.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More experienced people participating in the project can provide some guidance on the way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you manage to contribute something nice to the project, it means there is something to put on a CV if you will some day be doing a career as a developer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of open source projects, so it is quite likely there is one that would interest the kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you don't have any technical skills, you can still guide the kid in that process. Some of what is needed to get involved in such a project is about good people skills, where you could probably provide some guidance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some online communities can come across as a bit hostile to newcomers. A few pieces of advice which are relevant in most cases are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be just a little bit humble at first. Newcomers are occasionally (sometimes for good reasons) seen as arrogant persons with higher self-esteem than justified.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show that you are willing to learn.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show that you can make valuable contributions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many open source projects are discussing developments on open mailing lists, so you'll have to decide whether you are going to be paying attention to those to see how the kid is getting along in the community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12039" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T00:18:44.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-02T04:45:09.500" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 15, and I had this same problem about a year ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's an &lt;em&gt;awesome&lt;/em&gt; community called &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.facebook.com/groups/PennAppsHS/&quot;&gt;HS Hackers&lt;/a&gt; on Facebook. To call it lifechanging would be a gross understatement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hackathons are the best way to meet other talented (and often young) programmers. Hackathons are basically coding marathons. The best event to go to would be a &lt;a href=&quot;https://codeday.org/&quot;&gt;CodeDay&lt;/a&gt;. It's a 24 hour coding marathon hosted at 27 cities across the US, with a focus on young, learning, and new programmers. Having been to three, met the founders of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/StudentRND&quot;&gt;StudentRND&lt;/a&gt;, and ran my own CodeDay, I would have to say that it is one of the absolute best experiences for talented young developers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hit me up! Shoot me an email, and I can introduce your child to these communities! These communities, CodeDay, and other hackathons have definitely been a lifechanging experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11946" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-01-03T08:52:00.283" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T08:52:00.283" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-02T04:48:42.750" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two caveats:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm not a parent. I know nothing about raising kids. (But I do know about geeks.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm not sure if the question was aimed at meeting people your age, or any age. I'm assuming you are open to meeting and interacting with older teens and adults.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Elevator Pitch&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having truly productive programming skills at your age is unusual. More common is to have an interest and a bit of experience, but with more bravado than mastery. As others mentioned, older teens and adults may not take you seriously. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, learn and practice how to be assertive in meeting people and introducing yourself. Learn how to shake hands (not too firm, not too soft, one or two good shakes, different grips of women vs men), how to look people in the eye, smile. Ask your parents, uncles/aunts, and such to practice this for the next five times they see you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just like a business person or entrepreneur practices their &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elevator_pitch&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;code&gt;elevator pitch&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, so should you develop and practice a succinct statement about your specific interests, your skill level, your experience, work accomplished, achievements/successes, and interesting failures. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When done right this is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; bragging. It is communicating is such a way as to let others know who you are, and what you are about. This will get you past their natural prejudice about your age. When done briefly and efficiently, you are showing respect for their time and attention – that alone puts you in a more mature &quot;age bracket&quot; in their mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practice the elevator, I mean literally practice. Ask your parents or relatives to practice at least a dozen times in a row. You will feel awkward and embarrassed the first couple times. But believe me, by the eleventh or fourteenth time, you'll be so sick of it that all the embarrassment will have melted away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people I’ve known are receptive and supportive of youth interested in programming and other geek activities. If you put yourself out there, I'm sure you'll meet many interesting and helpful folks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dressing well helps. Better to be over-dressed than under-dressed, meaning better to have a collared shirt or a tie when a hoodie might be appropriate than the opposite. If you have more taste than money, learn to go &lt;a href=&quot;http://youtu.be/QK8mJJJvaes&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;spelunking at thrift stores&lt;/a&gt;, ask Grandpa for some interesting hand-me-downs. Tip: &lt;a href=&quot;http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/bow-ties-are-cool&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Bow ties are cool&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bathing/teeth-brushing/hygiene, and practicing good manners helps as well. Ask your parents/uncles/aunts for advice on grooming, &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B002A8JO48&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;shaving&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vinegar-home-remedies.com/natural-deodorant.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;natural deodorants&lt;/a&gt;, and so on. This may seem a bit embarrassing at first, but I'm sure they'd be glad to help after you’ve asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;User Groups&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18181/12046&quot;&gt;correct answer&lt;/a&gt; by neuronet suggests, user group meetings is the first thought that came to my mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;MeetUp.com is one good place to start. Google for &quot;tech calendar&quot; in your area. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check with vendors. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PostgreSQL&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Postgres&lt;/a&gt; (a database) site &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.postgresql.org/community/user-groups/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;lists local user groups&lt;/a&gt; around the world. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://vaadin.com/meetup&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Vaadin user groups&lt;/a&gt; (a web app development technology) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.xojo.com/community/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Xojo user groups&lt;/a&gt; (desktop app and web app development toolkit).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Trade Shows / Gatherings&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for local trade shows in the software/hardware business. Many of these are free of cost or inexpensive. These can often be fun to attend, and you can meet lots of people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, &lt;em&gt;LinuxFest&lt;/em&gt; gatherings occur around the country, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://linuxfestnorthwest.org/2015&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; in the Pacific Northwest (Bellingham), April 2015, where you will see me at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.postgresql.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Postgres&lt;/a&gt; booth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for tech company and startup newsletters and web sites in your area. They will have announcements about such events.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Conferences&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some professional programming conferences not only allow underage people to attend, they encourage. For example, &lt;a href=&quot;https://developer.apple.com/wwdc/students/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Apple provides student &quot;scholarships&quot;&lt;/a&gt; to their annual World Wide Developer Conference in San Francisco, including 13-17 year old youth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conferences can often be expensive to attend, but look for associated trade shows (as mentioned above). They are often free or inexpensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Maker Fairs&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;maker&quot; movement is growing rapidly in many areas. Groups have formed to share equipment, tools, 3D printers, lasers, etc. While these groups are often aimed at hardware, both electronic and non-electronic, attending maker fairs, events, and shops will lead to meeting all kinds of interesting geeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Home Schooling&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contrary to the name, home-schooling is not really about a kid locked up at home solo with only their parent teaching them. More common is groups of parents and students meeting for classes, events, lectures, field trips, and such. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for such home-schooling groups, and ask about any programming classes or events you might be able to attend. If none, suggest starting such classes or group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Work&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you truly are mature for your age, consider getting a job. You’ll not likely be given much responsibility. But you will have much more exposure to a bunch of technologies as well as people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First step towards this is to research the labor laws in your area. You should know what the do's and don'ts of what it takes to hire you, what hours you can work, can you work for free, and such. When you get the opportunity to speak with someone about possibly hiring you, sharing this knowledge will (a) impress them about your maturity and seriousness, and (b) make it easier to actually consider you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Caveat: Working on a real project is an &lt;em&gt;entirely&lt;/em&gt; different experience than just playing around with personal projects or programming experiments. Schedules, deadlines, communicating, working in a team, and more will seem to suck all the fun right out. If you persevere, you’ll learn about a whole new kind of &quot;fun&quot;, the pride of a job well done, real accomplishment. Ask your parents/uncles/aunts and other adults for advice about this and about how to prepare, what the expectations might be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Be Bold&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When attending these events, be assertive in meeting folks. When you sit down, introduce yourself to your neighboring seats. Ask them about themselves, what drew them to this event, what kind of job they have, what kind of projects they work on, and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often you'll be at an event with round tables for lunch or breaks. Be bold in walking up to a table of people and ask to join them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, your parents and uncles/aunts can help you practice this. I know from experience &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/about-the-book/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;as an introvert&lt;/a&gt;, meeting people is a skill that can be learned. You don’t have to be a gifted articulate conversationalist. All you need is a bit of boldness and some genuine curiosity about other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Ask, And Ask Again&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My biggest advice is to ask for advice (and help). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At your age I had similar motivations but was too bashful and lacking in confidence/self-worth to ask for help from adults. I think you’ll find parents, uncles/aunts, their friends, and their colleagues to be surprisingly enthusiastic about helping advance your technical skills and contacts. And remember that even if they don't know about your topic, they likely know others who do. But you have to ask. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask again and again. For one thing, repeated requests show this is not passing fancy on your part. For another, you need to know adults juggle many responsibilities; &lt;strong&gt;do not mistake their distraction for disinterest&lt;/strong&gt;. And yet another thing, by the time we earn our grey hair we learn that generally speaking young people are not interested in advice from older folks. If you are indeed that rare teenager who understands the wisdom of learning from others’ experience and hard lessons, make that clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Personal Safety&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While most people are kind, generous, and protective of youth, there are always a few perverts and criminals out there who sniff out opportunities for exploitation. While venturing out into the world, be open to new people and new experiences but also keep up your guard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learn about personal safety, such as never being alone with anyone behind closed doors. Build good safety habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Invite your parents, siblings, or other trusted adult guardians to escort you; they can bring a book to read. Most adults keep a schedule of appointments. If you ask in advance, I bet you'll find an uncle with a Nook/Kindle willing to take you to a particular geek meeting one evening each month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12046" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-01-06T01:37:41.227" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-02T05:31:04.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is by no means an authoritative answer - I don't really know you - I'll just offer suggestions (and a bit of opinion)...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the parent point of view&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't worry, peers will come at university or college. Finding people at the same skill level can be very difficult at this stage. First off, find the motivation, maybe the reason to find people with similar skills is because a need to have other with whom to share the passions... or maybe because your child actually wants some help, may be somebody to do a project with... or maybe it is a sense of being cast out as different. Whatever the case, address the motivation with your child first. Once the motivation is known, it should be easier to find a way to do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the child point of view&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understanding the roles of those people you look for will have in your life will inform the way you look for them. So most of the following will probably not apply to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider teaching - informal teaching. There is a chance that you will find easier to help people at lower skill levels, that to find people at your own level. While doing so, you will be working your social skills anyway. Try your hand at mentoring a friend into programming - if motivated of course.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider starting a big project, something that you be known for. This will make others - in particular older people around you - to recognize you. It will also open the door for conferences and meetings, and if done well will add to your curriculum easing the entrance to college or employment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you have the vision of something new, and you are looking for somebody to help you get it off the ground. If that is your passion, keep at it, eventually you will be good enough or that person will come... or both.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On the other you may be looking for somebody to keep you focused because you have been unable to find a project for yourself. If so, consider freelancing. You will meet people and continue to learn this way. Eventually you will find what project you want to do, or else it will help you land a good job in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If there is a risk that authority will spoil your passion for programming, then work on creating social structures of your own. May be you want to create a meet up, or try being a small entrepreneur. It doesn't have to be in programming, as long as it has some overlap with people interested in programming. Yeah, chances are it will fail at the initial attempts, yet you will learn from it, and get to meet people anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If what you want is to find a significant other that will match your skill level, then the best dating advice I can give you is to first be successful and then look for that person. Don't rush it, let that person come to you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If what you look for are a group of close friends to hang out with... why do they have to be programmers? - Anyway, you will find those developer friends among classmates or coworkers. Be patient, enjoy any non-programmer friends regardless.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently I double your age, and judging by your profile you have more skill overall than me. I find it hard myself to find others at my skill level, in fact I would really like to find - as in, meet in person - more people above my skill level so they can keep me challenged to continue improving - and maybe give me a hand if I get stuck with something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet, after reading some of your answers, looking at your public repositories and reading from your webpage. I don't see any project that stands out (those that did get my eye where for helping you with something code golf related...). It is my impression that you go from one small task to another unrelated small task and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I begin to think you really look yourself as a (aspiring?) guru - that is, the person others go to when they have problems. The elder on top of the mountain. If that archetype is what you see as the script of you life, no doubt you have trouble socializing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Chances are that is your way of being, you help other via this website, so maybe you will be a good teacher. Eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Or maybe you prefer other to put the challenges for you, in that case freelance seems a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Or maybe you really need to focus in some big project you can show to others saying &quot;I'm the creator of this&quot; when they ask you what have you being doing (instead of listing a bunch of programming languages and getting them to look you weird).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Or if code golf is what you care about... then the answer is simply to look for a hackathon or similar event, somewhere you will have the time constraints and the challenge imposed to you... except you see people in person.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Or I simply don't know. At the end, you know yourself (or are able to know yourself) better than I (or anybody else on this website) probably can.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: have you considered playing something that's not Nethack :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12045" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T05:31:04.450" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18175" CreationDate="2015-01-02T08:55:19.160" Score="10" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I feel stuck as I can't see a solution that fits my desired parenting style whilst maintaining my sanity, not being too upset with my son and getting enough sleep to function at work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; stuck, because you have conflicting desires/goals here. Prioritizing is painful when you want so much for your baby, yet it results in a significant cost to you. But there are two worlds here to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a possible answer for you (but I fear you might find it harsh, because you do want the best for your baby): switch him to formula feeding at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several reasons this might work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It would allow the baby's father to carry half the burden of nighttime feedings so you could get more sleep. More sleep = happier mom = healthier relationship with baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It would allow you to continue breastfeeding for bonding a few times per day (your breasts will adjust).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It would insure adequate nutrition.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It would likely fill his stomach more so that he could sleep longer periods between feedings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He really has had the immunologic benefit he needed from breastmilk. Longer certainly wouldn't hurt, but I don't believe it has been proven to help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He will stop associating the breast with falling asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want, a trial of this alone will free you from the significant lack of sleep you're experiencing now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other issue that I think needs to be addressed soon is how to get your child to self-soothe to fall asleep. You might find this harder emotionally than providing formula at night. It will be easi&lt;em&gt;er&lt;/em&gt; once you make your sleep and sanity a priority as deserving (and maybe more so out of necessity) as the benefits to your little one of feeding on demand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Breastfeeding and Maternal and Infant Health&#xA;Outcomes in Developed Countries&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T08:55:19.160" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18189" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-02T10:42:09.293" Score="5" ViewCount="4421" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm asking this question from the my POV as a teenage boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As some of you probably know, teenage boys eat. And then eat some more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, my parents haven't quite figured that out yet. I'm the oldest, so they don't have much experience with teenagers. To my bad luck, my father says he never ate like that when he was my age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, we had sandwiches a few days ago. I had three, and was denied a request for more... and more... However, i only get really hungry &lt;em&gt;sometimes&lt;/em&gt;, at random intervals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can i tell my parents to convince them to let me eat as much or as little as i feel i need?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12051" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-03T21:30:09.520" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T21:36:44.350" Title="My parents don't understand how I eat so much (food quantity required for a teenage boy)" Tags="|teen|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18192" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-02T12:59:45.717" Score="10" ViewCount="2171" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6 year old and was a single mum for 4 years. I raised him and disciplined him to the point where he is very very sociable and everybody thinks he is one of the most well behaved boys they have ever met.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently got married and my husband is following my way of disciplining him, however my son has stopped behaving the way he would and has gone out of control. He is very cheeky in his responses and he can be rude to people. My mother in law thinks it is OK and that he will learn as he gets older, her encouraging him is driving me crazy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am now pregnant with my second baby and my son's behaviour is getting tougher by the day. I have tried every avenue to try and pull him back to how he was when I disciplined him. I have tried talking to my mother in law and even got into a massive argument, but she still thinks it's OK and doesn't tell him off when he is being cheeky or rude. He doesn't listen to me anymore and instead goes to my mother in law for approval. He doesn't behave this way when his nana is not around. How do I discipline him and make him listen to me even when my mother in law is around? please please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;: I didn't change my way of disciplining him.. He gets to play his games and toys as long as he eats his breakfast lunch and dinner.. There are timings throughout the day for lessons and food and games.. Now he just doesn't listen when I say don't do that or eat your food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the past year she has been around at least 4 times a year and have stayed 2 weeks each time but this would be the longest since we are here for 2 months while waiting for the baby to be born&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12056" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2015-01-02T16:03:23.830" LastActivityDate="2016-07-23T00:20:55.617" Title="How do I make my son listen to my discipline, not my mother-in-law?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|grandparents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18189" CreationDate="2015-01-02T13:16:07.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may help if you approach it more scientifically than simply &quot;need more food!&quot; Discuss calories with them. For example, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.choosemyplate.gov/myplate/index.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;USDA Daily Food Plan&lt;/a&gt; website says a moderately active 16-year-old male needs 3200 calories a day. This is nearly twice what &lt;em&gt;I'm&lt;/em&gt; supposed to eat a day as an adult woman, so at first glance it's almost absurd -- but when I pause and consider the different physiology and age, it makes more sense. This approach shows you're &lt;strong&gt;exploring the issue practically&lt;/strong&gt;, and not just complaining about being hungry because you feel hungry. I don't think you need to get into strict calorie counting (&quot;I've only had 2900 today, give me another sandwich!&quot; would be a bad approach), but showing the difference from what they expect you to eat should help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider contributing to the food purchasing process. If it's possible financially, super -- but at the very least, go along when grocery shopping, make suggestions for items to put on the list (&quot;Can we have this kind of pasta&quot; or &quot;How about we get some whole-wheat bread, that's more filling&quot;). This gives you more input on both quantity and type of food, and also &lt;strong&gt;demonstrates that you're conscious of the level of effort required&lt;/strong&gt; to plan and provide meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as a family you can research &quot;better&quot; foods that can help you through your hungrier days -- as you note, this is a somewhat random problem. Look into high-energy satisfying snacks (trail mix, protein bars) as well as &quot;filling&quot; foods (popcorn, rice cakes) that keep well and can be in the cupboard for on-demand snacking. Again, you're showing that you are taking a mature, practical approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T13:16:07.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-02T16:24:23.247" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;All above suggestions are useful, but if you are in the Austin or El Paso areas, you can go along to the Coderdojo there. If not and you can find some like minded kids and parents, you might consider starting one in your own area.  See details at &lt;a href=&quot;https://zen.coderdojo.com/dojo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://zen.coderdojo.com/dojo&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I run one in my area of Sallins, Naas (in Co Kildare. Ireland) and from 4 kids two years ago, we now have 50+ kids each week, from 6 to 17, all working away at different languages and tools, from Scratch and MineCraft, to Python and PyGame, to Java, Blender, Unity, Eclipse, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you manage to hook up with a group, as it really adds to the experience, to be able to share the excitement of our constant learning experiences and to show off each new project :-) JK&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12062" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T16:24:23.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-02T16:29:50.057" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;All above suggestions are useful, but if you are in one of the areas listed below, you can go along to the Coderdojo there. If not and you can find some like minded kids and parents, you might consider starting one in your own area.  See details at &lt;a href=&quot;https://zen.coderdojo.com/dojo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://zen.coderdojo.com/dojo&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I run one in my area of Sallins, Naas (in Co Kildare. Ireland) and from 4 kids two years ago, we now have 50+ kids each week, from 6 to 17, all working away at different languages and tools, from Scratch and MineCraft, to Python and PyGame, to Java, Blender, Unity, Eclipse, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you manage to hook up with a group, as it really adds to the experience, to be able to share the excitement of our constant learning experiences and to show off each new project :-) JK&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12062" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T16:29:50.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18192" CreationDate="2015-01-02T16:33:40.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a child psychologist, but it sounds like he might be acting out due to changes in the household. Sit down and talk to your son. Establish that you aren't going to discipline him based on his answers, but want to understand why he has been acting out lately. Tell him if there is a problem you want to fix it, but can't if he doesn't tell you what is wrong. Be prepared for an &quot;I don't know&quot; answer and be patient. Ask him if he doesn't think you are spending enough time with him or if he is worried about the new addition to the family or if he is having issues with nana. It could be he doesn't like her or feels uncomfortable around her. You might let him know you are disappointing in his behavior and that it hurts your feelings that he is acting out. But don't make it all about his bad behavior and instead about how it's a problem you want to fix. It will take time and you may get mad at his answers or lack of but no matter what establish it as an open door time where his words won't be used against him. Don't punish him for what he says during this time or you may never get a solid answer out of him again. Think about it if someone told you that they wouldn't punish you for your feelings and then did would you trust them? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't get a good response with this then I would suggest starting with his doctor. Don't go with a &quot;fix him&quot; mentality or they will probably brush it off. If your Dr. doesn't have answers ask for a referral to a child psychologist. Even if they don't see your child, they may have coping suggestions for you. This is going to be a slightly stressful time for your child. There are changes that are occurring and sometimes, at times like this, we just need a little extra help with coping. Right now he just doesn't have those tools yet and probably just needs a little extra help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T16:33:40.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18192" CreationDate="2015-01-02T16:39:45.000" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see some aspects that might warrant considering;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, your son is six, that is an age where most children develop some rebellious tendencies, this is just part of getting older and comes with the &quot;getting more independent&quot; we parents encourage. Does this require action on your part? Not necessarily. Stay firm and consistent and you should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, he's had some major changes lately -there's a new dad in the house, this changes family dynamics quite a bit. Kudos to your husband for supporting your established style of parenting! The effects on your son may take a few months to show, because in the begining, everything is new and somewhat in motion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there is a new baby on the way. Wouldn't that make you insecure and jealous if you had been a single child for six years? Even if he's looking forward to the baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what can you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stick to your established way of parenting (as your method seems to work). Cut him some slack, where appropriate, if you sense he's had too much pressure with the recent changes, but overall, I think consistency is still important. Dumping rules without real reason is just &lt;em&gt;another&lt;/em&gt; change...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make clear that your decision trumps Granny. This is not much different than making clear how the &quot;chain of command&quot; works in every case. &lt;br&gt;My kids know that once &lt;em&gt;one parent&lt;/em&gt; says yes or no, that they need not ask the other, as none will overrule the other and they might find temselves in trouble if they attempt to overthrow a parental decision this way.  Also, parents trump grandparents, if both are present. If the grandparents are babysitter, they get to decide - no use calling Mom at work to overrule them. You get the idea.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a heart-to-heart with your MIL, or even better, let your husband handle it. Even if she does not like it, she's had her shot at child-rearing when your husband was little. Explain that you have made a careful &lt;em&gt;joint&lt;/em&gt; decision on the rules and values you will enforce in your house and for your children. Point out that you will be carefully considering all suggestions she might have, that you are greatful for her advice and wisdom and experience, that you are glad that your children have her in their life. (And who knows, she might have a point or two!) But also ask her to accept that you and your husband will set the final rules - and to do so for the sake of the children. &lt;br&gt;Then deal with her meddling as well as you can, because it's a grandparents prerogative to spoil the grandchildren ;-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T16:39:45.000" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-02T18:15:02.043" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just another idea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few years ago I took part in a &lt;a href=&quot;http://startupweekend.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Startup Weekend&lt;/a&gt;.  My areas of expertise were not very applicable at the time, so it wasn't an amazing experience for me, but I think &lt;em&gt;your child's&lt;/em&gt; knowledge would be very well suited to this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to find an age limit, but all I could find was &lt;em&gt;&quot;Startup Weekend does not discriminate on the basis of ..., age, ...&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, so I imagine &lt;em&gt;your kid&lt;/em&gt; would be very welcome, especially considering his very impressive skill set.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9828" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T18:15:02.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-02T18:39:03.333" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the people you are looking for don't exist, you can create them. Meaning if your child is ready and confident about it, he could lead a small group to teach others about how to program. His/her teachers could help him get the basics started to put together a group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12065" LastActivityDate="2015-01-02T18:39:03.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-02T20:14:43.923" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my town there is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/technology/20141125/nonprofit-spurs-digital-dreams-of-watsonville-youth&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a teenage center for kids who want to learn technology&lt;/a&gt;.&#xA;It's like an after-school meetup sort of thing, just geared towards kids instead of the usual technical meetup, which is geared towards professionals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12067" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-01-03T03:17:26.747" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T03:17:26.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18203" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18832" CreationDate="2015-01-03T02:02:33.217" Score="2" ViewCount="435" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend’s child is approaching 3 years of age. He doesn't even say single words and we don't get any attention from him when we call him or try to play with him. That means there is no response from him. He is just interested in playing with toys. For example, when other kids are around, he doesn't think of playing with them, he just focuses on toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We observed that in the early days he watched TV cartoons extensively and was  watching TV almost all the time. We wonder if that could have had an effect on the kid's mental development, and have caused the above described behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should we do? Any good suggestion would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12072" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-09T21:20:26.057" LastActivityDate="2018-07-09T21:24:35.810" Title="What to do about a 3-year-old child not speaking and not interacting with people around him?" Tags="|pre-schooler|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18204" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18240" CreationDate="2015-01-03T08:37:50.483" Score="12" ViewCount="1624" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 17 months old with a regular routine in a nuclear family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;0700 awake&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;0745 in nursery&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Full day of nursery&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1730 pick up from nursery&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1800 relaxing time with mum and dad&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1830 bath time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1900 story / quiet time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1920 bottle of warm whole milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1930 bedtime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a family we have the usual toddler tears you would expect with bedtime and handle them accordingly but the real reason for this question occurs between the hours of 2300 and 0500.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Randomly, for 4 to 5 minutes, he will wake up in &lt;strong&gt;absolute hysterics&lt;/strong&gt; screaming for his mother.  &lt;strong&gt;His eyes are closed&lt;/strong&gt; and when picked up to be soothed &lt;strong&gt;he will not recognise us&lt;/strong&gt; and continue the episode.  He is, as far as I can tell, &lt;strong&gt;still asleep&lt;/strong&gt; during these periods but the screams are deafening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this qualifies as a night terror?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the episode will manifest itself with him pushing himself away from us to the floor and &lt;strong&gt;running into other rooms (asleep)&lt;/strong&gt;.  Normally he will settle by the stair gate clutching it and shouting as if he has been abandoned and we (parents) are downstairs instead of next to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only remedy we have found is to have one or two bottles of milk on hand to give to him which normally soothe his distress until he falls back asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Context&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His mother is a fairly normal sleeper but I am a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogia&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;hypnagogic&lt;/a&gt; sleeper; &lt;strong&gt;dreaming/hallucinating as soon as I close my eyes&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;not waking for any amount of noise or distraction&lt;/strong&gt;.  Often my dreams are in &lt;strong&gt;full colour&lt;/strong&gt; and my partner can have full, lucid &lt;strong&gt;conversations with me whilst I sleep&lt;/strong&gt; which I cannot remember.  However, in 32 years I have &lt;strong&gt;never had a nightmare&lt;/strong&gt; that I can recall so I don't know how to approach my son to help him deal with this sleeping problem.  I always found Hynagogic sleep a pleasant experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do any parents or medical professionals on these forums have experience and/or advice on how to support my son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12075" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-12-29T16:06:28.577" Title="How to approach of a child suffering from a potential sleep disorder?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|night-terrors|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-03T12:14:45.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;from my OWN expierience i can say that you need to just make it learn himself like i did, i started from seeing what have other people done, reading wikis, watching tutorials and trying to understand their mechanics then started trying to do it myself and here i am. i have also learned some stuff from codeacademy.com it was my foundnation for html, css, javascript, php and ruby. &#xA;Most importantly of all you need to give him a computer, internet, a lot of time, understanding, and of course he needs inspiration(like his own project or something important to him) and NEVER say him how to do it if he says he KNOWS how to do it, as he needs to find everythink out himself to learn it&#xA;also he can get free sub-domain and hosting at &lt;a href=&quot;http://api.hostinger.co.uk/redir/3586817&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://api.hostinger.co.uk/redir/3586817&lt;/a&gt;(&amp;lt;-- im using that one) and he doesnt need any special tools for coding as its easier to learn when you do it in plain file editor&#xA;But,actually you know, don't do anything that he doesn't ask for&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12078" LastEditorUserId="12078" LastEditDate="2015-01-21T22:13:08.550" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T22:13:08.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-03T13:22:18.160" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid already knows how to learn and has demonstrated he wants to. Many of the other answers focus on showing the kid materials, which isn't helpful, since the kid can ask questions about materials himself anywhere on the web. Shoving materials and expectations on the kid can even be discouraging and kill of any interest in the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there's merely 2 things to look out for: Loss of interest due to lack of a challenge, or being overwhelmed by a challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To combat being overwhelmed, show interest in what he did so he can be proud in his progress (or at least realize there was progress, if things are going slowly). And if there's a lack of a challenge mention some more things he could do (e.g. work on a mod for a game he likes, buy a Raspberry PI, etc), but don't push work onto him - let him be the one who decides if he wants to do them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12079" LastEditorUserId="12079" LastEditDate="2015-01-03T13:28:07.190" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T13:28:07.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18189" CreationDate="2015-01-03T13:26:31.083" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Find out what worries your parents: If they refuse to give you another sandwich, they must have a reason. Could be money, health concerns, fear of you becoming overweight, some philosophical concerns, etc. You can much more effectively communicate and find a solution if you know what specifically is bugging them in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example: it if's money you can research &quot;budget&quot; foods or make a plan to buy in bulk. A sack of rice and beans is super cheap and fairly healthy. If it's health concerns, agree on tracking come metrics: amount of exercise, weight, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, Vegetarians and especially Vegans will require more food, so it may be useful to point to research this specifically and point it out to your parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my sons is a vegan and easily has 6-8 large meals a day (if he can get it). He's thin as a stick, but very healthy. My daughter eats probably 20% of that amount.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T13:26:31.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18208" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-03T14:34:04.993" Score="4" ViewCount="5271" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've got a 16 month old girl who has been on a fairly regular sleep schedule for a long time now.  Recently, in the matter of about a week, she refuses to nap anymore though.  We do our normal nap wind down, and when we get to her crib she whimpers and when put in the crib she screams at the top of her lungs standing at the edge.  She will do this for the entire minimum of an hour, which we try to enforce. Before this she was pushing up to 2.5hr naps, which were great.  The nap time is on a regular schedule, and since she's started doing this she is clearly showing signs of being tired as it approaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her ideal sleep schedule is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wake 7am.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nap 9am&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wake 10-11 on her own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nap 1pm, or 2pm (about 2-2.5 hrs after previous wake)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wake 3-4pm&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bedtime routine about 4 hours after last wake (bath, change, book, milk bottle, in crib)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In crib usually about 745-830, depending on day's timings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Generally cries about 15-20 minutes, sometimes needing an extra rocking, but then goes to sleep well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sleeps through night ideally, sometimes one wake.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This all went out the window recently with her refusing to nap.  Its also gotten more difficult to put her to sleep at night since, when she cries more than usual.  She has always cried when going to sleep, but now more.  She has been waking more than usual at night as well, sometimes for 2 hours when she is not hungry, but wants to be awake, held or running around her crib talking/babbling to herself.  Of course, we are required to be there and she screams until that happens.  Sometimes she tries to fall asleep in our arms, but generally can't do that.  The moment we put her back in her crib to sleep she screams a piercing scream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We generally have found letting her cry for a bit will let her fall asleep, but lately it is all scream or be held, a very strong attachment need happening.  How can we get past this and resume naps?  Why might she be doing this now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6814" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T13:51:39.610" Title="16 month old, former good sleeper, now screams entire nap" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18209" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18210" CreationDate="2015-01-03T15:54:14.280" Score="1" ViewCount="301" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S84RLgnz7Rs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;John Lennon's song and video &quot;Happy Xmas (War Is Over)&quot;&lt;/a&gt; suitable for a child?&#xA;My daughter has almost 9 years. She will understand the message (which I will also explain to her), and it is a very good message. But the images are of the most brutal and violent reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I won't show it for now, but at the same time i just love the song and the message, I want so much to share this with my child. It is better to wait, right? Maybe 3 years? Or 7 years?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9119" LastEditorUserId="9119" LastEditDate="2015-01-03T16:06:21.043" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T18:01:47.080" Title="Is the &quot;Happy Xmas (War Is Over)&quot; by John Lennon song and video suitable for a child?" Tags="|violence|maturity|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18209" CreationDate="2015-01-03T17:13:16.580" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, that really depends on your parenting philosophy. You may decide that as a parent, it is your duty to shield her from all the bad happening out there in the world for as long as possible. You may also decide that you can't protect your daughter forever, and that instead it is your role to guide her while she explores whatever she encounters in her life, songs her father enjoys being one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I'm inclined to the latter. Of course, any explanation you'll give should always be age-appropiate, but I don't see why she shouldn't be able to listen to the song at her age. The text in and of itself is hardly more brutal than the Lord's Prayer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the images of this particular video: At nine years old I watched the news on TV with my parents every evening after dinner - I often didn't understand why things happened, so I asked, and some things I just didn't care about (it helped that most bad things didn't happen too close to home, but if they would have, hell I would have wanted to know!). I was born in 1980, so I was nine when the Cold War ended in 1989. I heard quite a lot about that, and I still remember lighting candles on Christmas Day for the victims of Romanian dictator Ceaușescu, and hearing/seeing about all the atrocities that were commited under his regime. However, if your daughter isn't used to this particular kind of imagery, you might want to consider just listening and discussing the song first, or looking for another version of the video, before showing her this particular version - only you know if she can handle it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a few people who grew up a lot more protected than I did, and I have the idea that they struggled more with anxiety than I did, especially with respect to things their parents actively tried to shield them from. In the long run, I believe children can cope with a lot more than we think they can if they are supported by loving parents. Of course that doesn't mean we should expose them to everything, but you will know when something is too much for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T17:13:16.580" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18208" CreationDate="2015-01-03T18:06:18.470" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm no expert as my baby doesn't sleep as well as yours at night but that seems a lot of daytime napping for a 16 month old. I would think she's ready to at least start transitioning to one nap, if not drop one nap completely. She's probably crying because she isn't tired when you put her in bed for her nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I've read there are two main ways to drop to one nap:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Limit the length of the first nap so that the child can still manage a longer second nap and eventually cut out the first nap when ready&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gradually move the first nap later and adjust the bedtime earlier if you can't fit in a second nap. Allowing some rest time later in the day might help&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My baby is only 12 months but has always been on the longer end of suggested wake time length and is already starting to transition to one nap. For us I had to keep moving the first nap later in order for him to sleep a decent length of time. This ended up making the second nap short. Now more often than not he takes a later (12 ish) nap which lasts a good amount of time - up to 2 hours if the timing is right. On days when he manages 2 hours, we can't fit in a second nap and we have a bit earlier bedtime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter has been managing 2 naps happily until recently, she's probably not ready to drop the nap completely yet but I think you'll need to start adjusting the schedule. I should think this will help with nights as well as the behaviour you describe sounds like she is not tired enough to sleep well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be a tricky time when dropping naps and from what I've read, this one is the hardest so you should read up some more about how to handle it as I haven't described how to do it in detail. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T18:06:18.470" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18189" CreationDate="2015-01-03T20:51:31.523" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a Scout Leader, I've seen this a lot of times. Typically the parent of a boy of about 13/14 years old expresses astonishment (and sometimes embarrassment) at the amount their son will suddenly eat, if given the opportunity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to be sexist here, obviously in many families it is the father who does the cooking, but in my experience it's always been &lt;em&gt;mums&lt;/em&gt; rather than dads who find the amount that their adolescent sons eat astonishing, and sometimes equate it with greediness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the reason for the astonishment - and, sometimes, simple lack of belief that they really are &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; hungry - is that boys go quickly from (in pre-adolescence) needing &lt;em&gt;fewer&lt;/em&gt; calories than an adult woman to (in mid to late adolescence) needing more - sometimes a &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;!&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/DC0kt.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Table 2-3. estimated calorie needs per day by age, gender, and Physical&#xA;activity level&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.health.gov/dietaryguidelines/dga2010/DietaryGuidelines2010.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2010&lt;/a&gt;, U.S. Department of Agriculture&#xA;/ U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other sources which basically confirm the same thing: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/how-many-calories-do-children-need.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NHS1 (children)&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/how-many-calories-do-teenagers-need.aspx?CategoryID=51&amp;amp;SubCategoryID=165&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NHS2 (teens)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, depending on your level of physical activity, as a 16-year-old male you now need from, if you do no physical activity at all, 2000 calories per day (about the same as your mum, maybe a little bit more) up to, if you're very active, 3200 calories per day (suddenly &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; more than your mum - more than anyone else of any age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What to do? Here's some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk properly to your parents. As you're their oldest they may simply not have  realised that your calorific requirement is now likely to be so much higher than theirs. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fill up on &lt;em&gt;cheap&lt;/em&gt; foods which are &lt;em&gt;easy to cook extra quantities&lt;/em&gt; of. Here in the UK we have '&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smash_%28instant_mashed_potato%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Smash&lt;/a&gt;' (instant mashed potato) - i.e. carbohydrate which you make with hot water and powder - I'm not sure what the equivalent is in other countries. But filling up with potatoes or rice is generally a pretty decent idea. Don't expect to get twice as much of the expensive-and-delicious part of the meal as everyone else - the rest of the family are likely to perceive that as unfair. &quot;Mum, can I have an extra baked potato?&quot; is likely to go down a lot better than &quot;Mum, can I have an extra joint of beef?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't eat crap. It'll be a lot easier to convince your parents that you're not simply being greedy if you're asking for foods which are healthy, balanced etc. Make sure you're getting your 5 fruit and veg per day, and all that.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Learn to cook. It's my personal opinion that, at 16yo, if you're not cooking dinner for the whole family at least once a week then you're not playing your part in the family as a young adult. Your family may have a different view, but I'm betting that if you combine your request for more food with an offer to do more of the shopping and cooking (for the whole family, not just for yourself) then it's more likely to be taken seriously. As in, &quot;hey, mum, dad, two issues I'd like to talk about, 1: I need more calories per day than you do, and 2: put your feet up and have a cuppa while I take responsibility for buying and cooking dinner for the whole family at least once a week&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bear in mind (and raise in your conversation with your parents) that calorific requirement varies very widely depending on your build and your level of physical activity. So if you're a big guy who's on the football team and jogs 10 miles each day whereas your father at the same age was a small guy who put in a solid 3 hours of chess practise each day, then you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; going to need to eat a lot more than he did at the same age.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Prove&lt;/em&gt; that you're not just being greedy. Work out your BMI (body-mass-index) and demonstrate that it's not higher than it should be (assuming that it isn't - if it is then you maybe need to rethink this whole thing).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that's all helpful, feel free to come back to me with questions or comments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you simply show your parents this question and answer and ask to discuss it with them (remind them that you haven't embarrassed them in front of the world because no-one here has any idea who you are). I'm a parent (although my kids are a lot younger than you) and a lot of other people here are too, so hopefully some of us are seeing the parents-eye view here too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS - porridge is cheap, filling, healthy and easy to cook. Making yourself an extra bonus meal of porridge occasionally can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PPS - I've just noticed that you're vegetarian. OK, you're probably good on the &quot;5 a day&quot; front, but you are going to need fairly vast quantities of most vegetables in order to reach the likely calorific requirement. Consider snacking on things like nuts, which are pretty high-calorie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-03T21:36:44.350" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T21:36:44.350" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18213" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-03T21:28:35.937" Score="5" ViewCount="2120" Body="&lt;p&gt;I admit I did not do well at my first year of exams at A level... but I have changed it around and I am working so much harder than I have ever done! I also have a girlfriend who I see once a weekend and still I try and get work in on the days I see her. I say during the school week I would do an extra 2 and a half 3 hours of work when I get home at 6. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents do not believe I do any work no matter how many times I show them the hours of work I have been doing.... Now they are limiting the time I am allowed to spend with my girlfriend even though it doesn't affect the time I would be doing work anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know they want to do what is best for me but them not believing me and then taking it out on my relationship is stressing me out and I feel if they don't let me have the freedom to do my own work my own way and also have down time with my girlfriend, I will have a complete and utter break down. It is constant, if they aren't telling me to do work whilst I am present (I've come downstairs to get a drink, snack ect.), then my mum will be getting my dad on the phone... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12084" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-22T11:59:36.923" LastActivityDate="2018-04-23T12:05:17.077" Title="My parents never believe what I have to say or believe in me (trust issues around amount of effort being put into schoolwork)" Tags="|teen|relationships|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14769" CreationDate="2015-01-03T22:43:52.393" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 18 and had and been to parties and I would say the best thing to do is have all the alcohol put on to one table to you are able to monitor it, I did this for my 18th, it was the only way my mum would allow the party, but it works there was little trouble and friends monitored the drink as well. It does all depend on the age, if the are young maybe you say you will supply drinks but but very low percentage beers and drinks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12084" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T22:43:52.393" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-03T22:53:11.003" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started programming in high school with the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1598635182&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Game Programming for Teens&lt;/a&gt;. It teaches the programming language &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.blitzbasic.com/Products/blitzmax.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;BlitzMax&lt;/a&gt;. I think this is a good beginner's programming language because it has english-like syntax and a simple set of commands for drawing on the screen. Many other languages like Java have a huge API which is an asset to professional programmers but can be overwhelming for a beginner. Once you learn one programming language, it's much easier to learn another, so he can move on to another language like Java or C# when he's ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12086" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T22:53:11.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-03T22:53:47.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He needs personal projects to be interested in. Open source is great. Making a game is great - but definitely the tallest order to fill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finishing things that have clear use, either to him or someone else, is the most flexible, self-reliable, solution. I recommend games, because I love games. But again, I love games, and games require the widest range of skills to complete.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if he's a nerd, he will love games too. Games are also profitable. Ahaha.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12085" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T22:53:47.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18213" CreationDate="2015-01-03T23:29:53.810" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Demonstrate to your parents that you are behaving responsibly.  Do this by creating a reasonable timetable.  The time table includes all your lessons; it includes the work you do at home; it includes the time you spend doing chores (and now might be a good time to start doing those if you haven't done so already!); and it includes your relaxation time.  You also need to note the dates of your exams or coursework dates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alongside that timetable keep a list of work that needs to be done.  Include space so you can make notes about it.  Cross out each piece as it's done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EG:&#xA;&quot;English: write 1,000 words about themes in This Book. I read the book; I high lighted the bits I want to use; I've done my brainstorm to plan the work; I've written my rough outline; I've started the draft (about 400 words); I meed to finish the draft, proof-read it and edit it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention &quot;breakdown&quot;. It's important to look after your mental health.  Find someone that you can chat to about it. If things do start getting too much you can talk to your GP and this is confidential.  They can offer a variety of options (although things are very limited if you're under 18).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-01-03T23:29:53.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-04T07:32:51.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think, most of the suggestions here lead into the wrong direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the fact that he seems to be able to obtain the relevant knowledge or skills for a project himself, I would recommend the two following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggest to him to give an after-school teaching class or a few talks about programming to his fellow students. The best way to learn is to teach anyway. This may also improve his social skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him some &quot;real&quot; projects. Ask him to program a website for the school class or some web-applet for a math or physics project. Or a little database thing, or a wiki. This way he will see an actual relevance in his skills. He will understand that he is the expert and that other people need him. And he will learn early to market himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12094" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T07:32:51.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18204" CreationDate="2015-01-04T09:08:27.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wasn't going to put this as an answer as I feel it could be better, but due to length...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want medical advice, then you really need to see a medical professional. I presume it was one who diagnosed you with &quot;hypnagogic sleeping&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for bad dreams, I have them all of the time and always have &amp;mdash; as well as good dreams. Sugar or a full bladder triggers some of the most colorful, awesome, vivid dreams. Perhaps moving the feeding away from just before sleeping could help? &lt;em&gt;Just a guess!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a lot of people, waking ends the dream and they rapidly forget, but for vivid dreamers... even those who are or are almost lucid dreamers... &lt;strong&gt;the dream does not fully end when we wake.&lt;/strong&gt; When I dreamt, for example, that the boat we were on was burning and could feel my own skin going in the process, only time and comforting could help me get back to sleep (and the rest of those docked and sleeping... a kid screaming about fire on a boat is just bad for all.) Over 3 decades later, my mother and I were laughing about this this past weekend. &amp;mdash; The point being not so much a point (I said this was not an answer), but a hope that any similarities in my own case with yours are helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T09:08:27.307" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3017" CreationDate="2015-01-04T10:22:07.180" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my children have severe flat feet. From the age of 4 until 9 we saw numerous specialists and all advised that there was nothing to worry about and that flat feet are a type of normal. But my children were in pain. How can that be normal.&#xA;After years of searching we finally came across an orthopaedic surgeon in London England called Mr Andy Goldberg at the Wellington Hospital and he explained everything in a completely different way. We think he is the best surgeon in the UK. Suddenly everything made sense and we decided to go ahead with surgery to put a tiny implant into my 9 year old daughters feet to correct the flat feet. We did one side at a time and each one took about 3 months to fully recover because he said that the surgery corrected the problem but would not correct her muscles which had to relearn how to walk properly. After 6 months my daughter has a normal pair of feet. She can run, climb, and recently walked 60 miles for charity. I think if we had left things as they were she would have had a life of misery like her mum, as I had to have my bones fused when I was in my 40's. I am now watching my younger child and we are planning to do hers when she is a bit older. I think you must beware advice saying its normal, when its clearly not, and I recommend you get expert advice as we did and I am just so grateful. He is the best surgeon in the world as far as we are concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12096" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T10:22:07.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18222" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18225" CreationDate="2015-01-04T10:44:21.767" Score="5" ViewCount="4323" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five and a half year old daughter was very found of playing with jigsaw puzzle when she was three. Then she dropped that idea completely. So I don't have any &quot;growing&quot; references, for best sizes for her actual age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has just got (as Christmas gift) a 50-pieces jigsaw puzzle set. It is labelled &quot;4+ age&quot;. Since, I don't have any reference for past two years, I thought this will be enough for her age. But, it turned out, that she needed less than five minutes to get done with this. And she didn't even needed to look at a picture or get the border first (a &quot;help&quot; that I use most often).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know, what size would be best for her in this situation? I don't want to get her too big one, so she do not get overwhelmed and bored too soon or find it too difficult. But, on the other hand, I don't want to get here the one, which will be done in let's say ten or fifteen minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be the best size here? 200 pieces? More?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11179" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T08:03:04.427" LastActivityDate="2020-04-25T18:13:46.917" Title="Best jigsaw puzzle's size for 5+ year old girl" Tags="|pre-schooler|toys|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18209" CreationDate="2015-01-04T18:01:47.080" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This can be interpreted as a form of:  &quot;The Garden of Eden - &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_of_the_knowledge_of_good_and_evil&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tree of Knowledge of Good &amp;amp; Evil&lt;/a&gt;&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the answer provided by @Little Ms Whoops, I'd like to contribute some points to think about, perhaps helping you to form your own reason.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are definitely different views on this subject.  It's your freedom to decide, and the different paths are valid.  These choices will mostly likely have an affect on how your child sees the world and copes with it, and possibly contributing to their life purpose.  Maybe seeing the famous photograph of the girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) from Vietnam running nude from a napalm strike and crying contributed to people choosing a profession in some way.  The fact that you are concerned about the images shows that they have the potential to be impactful.  Here are some perspectives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;- The Realist Perspective:&lt;/strong&gt; Sheltering the child is a dis-service to them.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Not preparing them for reality that humans have set, time and time again, proving to be a violent species.   When conflicts are in front of the sheltered child, they don't know how to react or handle it, because it's surprising and disturbing. Being exposed to these realities gives one an advantage over naive individuals and sets them up to recognize potential danger or conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;- The Protective Perspective:&lt;/strong&gt; Sheltering the child to a point is a benefit.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Letting them focus on positive aspects of humanity while they build their core understanding of how to live and learn, solving problems without the burden of worry or awareness of atrocities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;- The Neutral or Natural Perspective:&lt;/strong&gt; Your child will be exposed to plenty of negative influences in this life, deal with them as they come and don't rush them.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Let the child be a child for innocence's sake for as long as you can. They will be exposed to everything in the time that is fitting their existence  and upbringing.  ie, If you are born in a war-region, it makes sense to worry about it, but if you are born into peace, enjoy it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;- The Spiritual Perspective:&lt;/strong&gt;  You create the reality in which you live by what you choose to think about and give attention and energy.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you want a life of peace you can have it simply by not engaging in conflict.  Examining negative aspects of humanity brings them into focus, and one can find whatever it is they are seeking if they so choose.  Energy follows thought.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some things to consider:&lt;/strong&gt;  in no particular order&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your child is going to be exposed to anything undesirable, do you want to be the one exposing them to it?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are there benefits to you being there to explain things?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are there benefits in them knowing the information in question, or at least having witnessed something and possibly (most likely) not understanding it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you have a plan for what to say when inevitable questions are asked?  Can you guess the questions?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How long can a child stay in the dark on certain issues?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How does your child react to violence in general or graphic scenes?  The likeliness of it being a traumatic event or easily accepted would vary from child to child.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are you planning on discussing politics?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are you taking a side, or offering third person perspective on the conflicts, explaining both sides' reasons for war, or just leaving it open as to why people do this?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How &quot;street-smart&quot; are you? Do you feel like you were too naive and wish you could have had some more practical real-life wisdom or awareness?  Or the opposite?  Do you wish you had more peace? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is there a correlation between witnessing atrocities and unpleasant aspects of human nature and losing your childhood?  What is the relationship?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is the level of awareness inversely proportionate to innocence and youth?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are there religious overtones that will need explained?  ie, How could God let this happen?  Does God not like those people?  Who's side is God on? &quot;Our [insert religious book] says it's wrong to hurt people and kill&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you practice or teach &quot;Think for yourself, question everything&quot;?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what, she won't be able to UN-SEE whatever it is she sees.  Thinking about these questions might help you to prepare and make a choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, I deal exposure to certain hardships as a form of keeping &quot;Taking things for granted&quot; in check.  If a child is getting &quot;spoiled&quot; or having lots of expectations, history lessons and current events, as well as social studies are a good source of perspective of your actual situation. People certainly do use violence to acquire property on both a personal level and national level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing that people are suffering at all times somewhere on the planet is something everyone should be aware of to some extent, simply to be truly thankful for the times when things are good.  One cannot fully appreciate where one is without fully understanding everywhere one isn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The bottom line:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an issue of timing and philosophy, and you know your child the best, as well as your parenting styles and choices.  You know your beliefs on war, and if you want to raise your child to form their own beliefs or mirror yours until they form their own is purely your choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11927" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T18:01:47.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18222" CreationDate="2015-01-04T19:58:26.793" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You'll have to tailor your purchase to your daughter's interests and abilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since 50 pieces is too easy for her, I would go ahead and try a 100+ piece puzzle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking at different products, I see that 50-150 pieces are typically for ages 4+, 5+, or 6+. 100 piece puzzles look to be suitable for 5+ and 6+.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, 200 piece puzzles often jump to the range of 7+ or 8+, so that might be too big of a jump for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whichever size you get, I would introduce the new puzzle with a comment such as,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You did so well putting together the last puzzle, I thought you might like to try one more challenging.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, if it turns out to be a little too difficult for her, you can say, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm very impressed with how hard you're working on this puzzle. It sure looks like fun. Do you mind if I work with you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By introducing yourself into this activity you can make it a fun, bonding experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a note, &lt;strong&gt;some children are going to be better at puzzles than others&lt;/strong&gt;. Jigsaw puzzle solving requires a different set of mental skills. Spatial recognition is needed for for matching both the piece shapes to each other and the piece art to the larger image. Memory skills are needed for remembering what the whole picture looks like when they're not looking at the box. Strategy/critical thinking skills are needed to come up with solutions to solve difficult portions (such as doing borders first, grouping pieces by the same color, etc). If your daughter excels in these areas, she might be equipped to handle puzzles outside the listed age ranges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, part of the reason the larger piece-count puzzles are for older children is that the pieces are smaller. Thus, they require a little more dexterity (fine motor skills) to handle. So, &lt;strong&gt;you'll also have to pay attention to whether or not the size of the individual pieces is affecting her enjoyment of the puzzle&lt;/strong&gt;. These size differences are why I was able to find a 100 piece puzzle for ages 3+, and another 100 piece puzzle for ages 5+. The 3+ puzzle had much larger pieces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-01-04T19:58:26.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18226" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18228" CreationDate="2015-01-05T00:57:05.683" Score="12" ViewCount="232312" Body="&lt;p&gt;My niece just turned 1 year old and she still does not sleep through the night.  She wakes up numerous times (about every 1.5 - 2 hours) throughout the night and proceeds to scream very loudly until someone comes in to get her.  She is also not a &quot;good napper&quot; and fights them as well. The question is, what techniques can her parents try to change this behavior and get her to sleep through the night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few things to note:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her parents have tried letting her &quot;cry it out,&quot; but to no avail.  At one point, just to see if there was a limit to it, they let her cry for over an hour and she was still screaming full force.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her cry &lt;em&gt;sounds&lt;/em&gt; like she is scared. She seems to fear falling asleep or being asleep with no one in the room with her. This is just a guess though.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To get her to get any sleep at all, her parents have taken to either (a) letting her sleep with them (obviously not a good solution), or (b) walking her until she falls asleep, placing her in the crib, waiting until she wakes and starts crying an hour or two later, then repeat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her parents are exhausted after 12 months of this and would truly appreciate any suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2085" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T06:42:43.460" Title="1 Year Old Wakes Up Screaming Multiple Times A Night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18227" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-05T02:17:40.460" Score="4" ViewCount="16861" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2.5 years old toddler girl who has recently started full day childcare and there were a couple of instances where she refused to open her eyes for hours - this usually happens when she throws tantrums or when we wake her up from bed when she wants to sleep more or sometimes when she cries. When she is not throwing tandrums, she can respond normally (even with her eyes closed..and we can feel there's movements in her eyes). Besides closing her eyes, she does not have any other unusual symptoms. Her diet is fine, health is ok, she can still respond normally with her eyes closed, her eyes look ok (no redness or any sort) and when she opens her eyes, she is back to normal again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This drove us crazy over the past weeks and were worried too. Our PD says she does not think it's a medical issue but does not know the root cause either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pls advise!Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12110" LastEditorUserId="13165" LastEditDate="2015-01-10T10:14:57.707" LastActivityDate="2016-01-31T01:04:59.480" Title="2.5 years toddler who refuse to open eyes for hours" Tags="|toddler|behavior|eyes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18226" CreationDate="2015-01-05T04:43:19.567" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the infant needs to undergo some sleep training. From personal experience, this is not at all fun for the parents. It requires absolute dedication from the parents in order to be effective, and in the beginning there may not seem to be any benefit to the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are various methods taught, such as the &quot;cry it out&quot; Ferber method. I'm not well-read on any of them, but I have heard several times that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=a1a74c84-c59d-414d-bbb7-3860fee988f1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;letting a child cry it out can cause mental or emotional harm&lt;/a&gt;. With that in mind, these are the techniques my wife and I used to transition my son from co-sleeping to sleeping in his own crib at night:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a calming routine before bedtime, such as a bath followed by reading. This should be done at the same time every night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take the child to bed at the same time every night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have both parents tell the child goodnight.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have one parent stay in the room until the child falls asleep. The &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; things the parent is allowed to do are: &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell the child, &quot;No&quot; when they sit/stand up in their bed/crib. This is the only time you should be saying, &quot;No&quot;. You don't say, &quot;No&quot; to questions or cries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hug the child once per sitting/standing, but the hug must not lift the child. It has to be managed with the child sitting/standing in the crib. It's not always comfortable for the adult to do. I believe this is a healthy compromise between &quot;Cry it out&quot; and attachment methods, not only for the child but for us as parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Gently&lt;/em&gt; place the child back down to a laying position, &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; lifting them up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell the child, &quot;Lay down&quot; as they're laying the child back down.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No exceptions! No other talking! &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The tone of &quot;No&quot; and &quot;Lay down&quot; should be calm, but firm and assertive. They should not sound impatient, angry, or exasperated. If you've ever watched The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan, his approach to commanding dogs also works well for young children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once the child seems to be asleep, the parent on duty that night should wait several minutes before leaving the room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child wakes up again after that, the same on-duty parent goes back to the room and start back at step 4. This may happen many times in the night at first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wake the child up at the same time every morning. If feasibly, this should be done by the off-duty parent from the night before, because they're more likely to have gotten enough rest to wake up early.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not allow extra napping during the day. One hour-long nap midday &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be sufficient. Nap times vary by child. The hardest part about daytime naps is making sure the at-home parent's own naps aren't allowing the child to nap too long. Set an alarm if you're about to doze off after the little one does!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are the additional rules we set for ourselves:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;On the first night or two, both parents should be be present for the entire time it takes for the child to fall asleep the first time. They can alternate between who is going through the step 4 sequence. However, the parents can &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; talk to each other. Doing this together the first time lets the child know that it's how things work now.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child is calling incessantly for the other parent, and that parent is still awake, then that parent may come in &lt;em&gt;once&lt;/em&gt; per night to go through the step 4 sequence: Say, &quot;No&quot;, give a hug/pat, lay the child down while saying &quot;Lay down.&quot; It's important that this is done no more than per night by the off-duty parent, and it should be done while the on-duty parent is still in the room. It tells the child, &quot;Mama isn't going to rescue you tonight. She's on my side.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't focus on watching the child. You'll be able tell when the child sits/stands without staring directly at them. Focus on something else in the room, or even the back of your eyelids. This tells the child that you're a reassuring presence, but you are not a source of attention or interaction. A few times I even listened to music with earbuds (but you have to make sure you device screen stays off while you're in the room. Best kept in a pocket).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These tricks helped us keep our sanity:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bring in a comfortable chair to sit in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be prepared for a long battle in the beginning. (I think our first night's screaming/standing/crying phase took at &lt;em&gt;least&lt;/em&gt; 2 hours before he fell asleep the first time. It was much shorter the second time that night, but the second night's first cycle was nearly as long as the first night's.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be prepared to lay the child down possibly hundreds of times in the first cycle. You need to do it literally &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; time the child sits/stands. Some might get the message after a few dozen attempts. My son is very willful, and I stopped counting after 100+ times the first night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be prepared for this to take at least one exhausting week's worth of dedication by the parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be prepared to have to go back into the room after these most likely scenarios: 1) You &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; stepped out the door 2) You &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; lay down in your own bed 3) You &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; fell asleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Before bed, assess your child's health so that you know your child isn't in any sort of distress from illness or gastrointestinal discomfort, this is important because:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child may use &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; type of cry and scream in their arsenal. Our son went through his usual cries: &lt;em&gt;I'm unhappy&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;I'm tired&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;I'm angry&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;I'm hungry&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;I don't feel well&lt;/em&gt;. Then, when those failed, he invented new ones: &lt;em&gt;I'm being murdered&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;I'm dying&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;I am become death destroyer of worlds&lt;/em&gt;. These cries will illicit strong emotions from the parents. You'll want to cave in, because it sounds like your baby is in pain and really needs you. That's the point of such outbursts: to get the parent to cave. And if you give in to those screams, you'll only find that you've taught the child to escalate even further to get their way.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's okay to skip saying, &quot;No&quot; or &quot;Lay down&quot;, and even the hug/pat sometimes. It doesn't have to be robotic. Sometimes you'll be too exhausted or frustrated to talk without having a tone that's not calm, and that's okay. The main thing is that you have to lay the child back down every time, whether or not you speak. In fact, as the night progresses you should offer the feedback less and less often anyway, until you're only laying the child back down. A&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes, the physical and emotional toll this routine takes on the on-duty parent can be too much for the night. In that case, it's okay (and possibly necessary) to tag in the off-duty parent for a while. It doesn't have to be for the whole night. Sometimes my wife and I just needed to trade each other for 15 minutes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep perspective. Being dedicated to the routine, from start to finish, is very difficult in the beginning, but in the end it means the entire family can get more restful sleep. Also, it helps to be in a mindset of sympathy for your child, rather than a mindset of the child being antagonistic. Yes, the child is intentionally aggravating you in order to get their way, but they're doing it because they are so attached to you and are used to things being done differently. They &lt;em&gt;trust&lt;/em&gt; you to take care of them, so you need to show them that this new way is okay, and that the baby will be okay.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to be a team&lt;/strong&gt;. If both parents are in the home at night, then they need to take turns being on-duty, and they need to both follow the routine. If one parent is more verbose, or picks up the child at certain times, then the difference in how the parents react is going to prolong the situation. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was about 1 when we did the sleep training. It may have been 14 months, I don't recall exactly. I think it took at least a full week until things settled down for us. Our situation was similar, except we usually didn't let the &quot;cry it out&quot; stage last more than a couple minutes. It was easier to let our son come into our room. Things had to change when I wasn't getting enough sleep for school and work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was exhausted that entire week, but it paid off. Eventually, our son stopped fighting bed time as much &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; stopped waking up and crying so much through the night. (Of course, once we changed from crib to bed we've encountered different bedtime issues!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have sources right now to tell you about how I came about this method. At the time I read a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of material on sleep training and developed this strategy based on all the insights I agreed with. I feel I struck a balance between &quot;Cry it out&quot; and &quot;No tears&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to add that I agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18231/11394&quot;&gt;deworde's answer&lt;/a&gt;, in that a failure to commit to the plan doesn't mean the &lt;em&gt;parents&lt;/em&gt; have failed. It's likely that instead, the &lt;em&gt;plan&lt;/em&gt; has failed. As you can read, I put quite a bit of effort developing and enacting my customized plan, because I knew I couldn't commit to some of the existing &quot;book&quot; methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the parents find a different plan, or make their own, these are the most important aspects the plan needs to have:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Routine&lt;/strong&gt; - The child needs to expect the same thing every night and morning. This serves both psychological and biological purposes.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Consistency&lt;/strong&gt; - How each parent reacts to different situations needs to be consistent, and it needs to be consistent between them.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Commitment&lt;/strong&gt; - The parents need to be able to physically and emotionally commit do the sleep training plan for a reasonable amount of time. Some lucky parents only need a day, others more than a week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T19:47:12.597" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18153" CreationDate="2015-01-05T05:55:36.603" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't say I read all of the responses, but the first few saddened me greatly.  &lt;strong&gt;VIRTUALLY NONE of the modern computing greats (think Gates, Jobs etc.) cut their teeth at such a high-level of abstraction&lt;/strong&gt; (i.e. web based technologies).  They all got down and dirty with the hardware.  The go-to gurus in any team are almost always the ones who have the deepest low-level knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to him to learn REAL computing and get him excited about it, get him the necessary toys (good quality multimeter and a CRO (a nice 2nd hand 50 MHz Tektronix unit will do nicely), a nifty development board (Raspberry PI, Intel Edison etc.), and brainstorm some cool projects for him to do.  Something like possibly connecting a motion sensor and emailing him a photo of his bedroom when there is any motion detected.  Completely pointless, but great fun and cool to show off to your mates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he gets the bug and has the tools, his skills will develop naturally.  The most important thing is to set him challenges that are commensurate with his level of skill.  He'll need some hand holding initially, but once he develops the basic skills of hardware I/O, program architecture, and how to get the necessary info to solve the next problem, there will be no stopping him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12115" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T05:55:36.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18222" CreationDate="2015-01-05T08:05:31.397" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6yo son was similar, and we have recently tried him with a 200 piece map of Europe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is too much for him on his own at the moment, but he enjoys sitting down with an adult and doing it together. The content means it is both challenging and gives us something to chat about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with smaller puzzles is that they aren't interesting to him because they don't present enough of a challenge, whereas this one is too overwhelming for him on his own for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect in a couple of months he will be doing this on his own no problem,and we may buy him some more of the same size and see how he gets on with an unfamiliar puzzle on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="910" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T08:05:31.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18226" CreationDate="2015-01-05T08:42:23.803" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing worth doing is adjust the sleeping environment. Reduce the number of soft toys to just their favourite, but make sure that one's in bed every night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drop the light and noise level by getting proper blackout curtains up, or get a low glow nightbulb or some ambient noise going on. Find what level of noise your child prefers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the key thing is consistency. They need to see their bed as their space. It is more worthwhile &lt;em&gt;YOU SLEEPING NEXT TO THEIR BED IN THEIR ROOM&lt;/em&gt; than them sleeping in your bed, because at least they're getting comfortable with the bed. You don't want that to be a long term thing, but it's at least giving you an out that you can sneak out once they're asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to try is to spend some time during the day reading to them while they're sitting on their bed, so they start thinking of their room as a nice place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18228/147&quot;&gt;CreationEdge's answer&lt;/a&gt; is a brilliant summary, but the most important thing is that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; have to be comfortable with your plan. If you're cracking and allowing them back into the bed, it's a sign not that the plan won't work, but that you can't commit to it, because it's not right for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T10:29:57.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18232" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18239" CreationDate="2015-01-05T13:13:07.147" Score="20" ViewCount="7094" Body="&lt;p&gt;He tells me regularly that she's so nice and kind to everyone, how beautiful she is, how pretty her hair is, and this, that and the other. Now he's asking me what he should say to her, and if he should tell her he loves her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him I think it's a bad idea to say that to her because she might not understand, and that he should just appreciate being friends with her and talk to her about things they have in common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't tell him that I think that he shouldn't tell her because&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she might tell him she doesn't like him and that could crush him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she could turn around and tell other people and suddenly he becomes a target for bullying.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7 years of age is too young to be getting involved in that kind of stuff.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think I should take as much of a hands-off approach to his personal and relational development as I can. I don't mean to say I want him to figure it out all on his own, but I don't want to poison his innocence or experiences with my far more experienced, but biased views.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this the right way to deal with this? Should I handle it differently? Should I tell him the cold hard facts? Should I highlight the risks? What is the best way to handle this without negatively influencing him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12123" LastEditorUserId="13165" LastEditDate="2015-01-10T10:14:49.533" LastActivityDate="2017-05-28T20:56:25.663" Title="My 7-year-old is &quot;in love&quot; with a girl in his class. How should I deal with this?" Tags="|primary-schooler|development|age-appropriate|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18233" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18236" CreationDate="2015-01-05T15:53:03.057" Score="5" ViewCount="3842" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see many posts around the Internet about &quot;How to encourage your baby to crawl&quot; but I've once heard that baby development should not be accelerated and that each phase is beneficial to develop certain muscles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this true to crawling? Should babies be encouraged to crawl? At what ages/having reached what milestones?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12130" LastActivityDate="2015-01-06T07:14:54.187" Title="Can crawling too early due to over-encouraging parents have detrimental effects?" Tags="|development|crawling|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6579" CreationDate="2015-01-05T18:11:04.910" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the biggest thing is just to not do it for him.  Even if you are standing right there and he is three rooms away and it would be easier and faster to just do it yourself, call him and make him do it. No need for punishment or lecturing, just &quot;Billy, you forgot to flush the toilet.  Please come flush it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T18:11:04.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-05T19:24:19.107" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One option left out by other answers is to join or start a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.usfirst.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;FIRST Robotics&lt;/a&gt; team.  This competition happens yearly, and has forged paths that allow high school students to receive mentorship from professionals in the programming, mechanical engineering, computer, and electronic industries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The value of joining or starting such a team is that the program is well recognized, and it's easier to find and build mentoring relationships following the program than doing to alone.  The value of the actual competition in building skills also should not be underestimated.  Keep in mind that while &quot;pure programming&quot; has its place, being part of a team and solving problems in other fields, sometimes without any programming, can have unexpected benefits in being able to solve problems within programming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have said, hackerspaces, maker shops, tech entrepreneur places, conventions, conferences, etc also have value.  As a youth I found that while many of these weren't built with youth in mind, one could still build many great relationships with possible mentors by attending, asking questions, and getting contact information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you find a few people in your region that can help you, ask them for references to other people and organizations that might be useful - use your existing network to build and better your network.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T19:24:19.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18233" CreationDate="2015-01-05T20:09:21.753" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The general advice not to &quot;accelerate&quot; the development of babies has one important reason: &lt;br&gt;Many people try to &quot;help&quot; a baby with the actual movement by placing it in a position it couldn't acchieve on its own or &quot;supporting&quot; them in some kind of upright position. This can be damaging, because if the skeletal muscles are not yet able to execute &amp;amp; support the movement, the weight is carried by the bones and joints alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is true for example for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;sitting&quot; (putting too much pressure on the spine / lateral discs by putting a baby in a sitting position or too soon in a stroller with raised back)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;standing up&quot; / &quot;walking&quot; (when it's basically holding up the baby by the hands/arms, not the baby standing up on it's own)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I can't imagine how one could &quot;help&quot; a baby to crawl unless it's able to do so. As far as I know, &quot;encouraging&quot; in this case is done by placing interesting objects like toys &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; out of baby's reach - either he gets it or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;As long as the &quot;encouraging&quot; action is just motivating, not physically &quot;helping&quot;, you should be fine. Of course you can motivate a child that is &lt;em&gt;just about to&lt;/em&gt; ... by placing a toy at a certain place or offering opportunities to practice - use common sense and do not try to &quot;train&quot;. Have fun together!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T20:09:21.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18227" CreationDate="2015-01-05T21:48:07.377" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to know the root cause of any behavior that's not medical, maybe because there is rarely one root cause. You have consulted your (pediatrician?) who said it wasn't medical. If you have concerns in that department, you can always get another opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's not medical, it's behavioral. If it's behavioral, you have the fun job of figuring out why she's chosen this particular way of telling you that she doesn't like what is happening to her. (I presumed from your info that it only happens when she's cross for some reason.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is 2.5, and she has opinions, desires and feelings about what's happening to her, but no real power to control outcomes or events. It's possible that she feels words are not an effective form of communication for whatever reason. In that case, it's up to you as parents to teach her a good range of feeling words with which she can identify her feelings, and then, &lt;em&gt;listen&lt;/em&gt; to what she's saying - not obey, but listen and make her feel &lt;em&gt;heard&lt;/em&gt;. Respect that although you may not agree with her, she has a right to her feelings (she'll have them anyway, and it's best to learn how to identify and talk about them). Explain your decisions to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe when she has a good emotional vocabulary, this way of expressing herself will stop. Until then, (what I would do if I were in your shoes) respect that. If she wants to close her eyes, it's her decision. She won't hurt anyone (she's not biting or hitting). I would just assure her safety (she's not allowed to walk around with her eyes closed.) I wouldn't let her decision to close her eyes control too much; if you have a trip planned, take the trip. I assume you have a stroller. On the other hand, show respect for all her wishes, and let her have some control over the things she can. She is trying to communicate something besides simple disagreement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is more than just a phase, you'll need to ask for help from a child therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T21:48:07.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18233" CreationDate="2015-01-05T22:30:29.947" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;No amount of encouragement or training will make a baby develop the muscle strength or coordination to do things they are not able to do. It's highly likely that a rational person would recognize this after a small number of failures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people don't place babies in harm's way. I've never seen anyone trying to train an infant to roll over, sit up straight, or to raise it's head up off the floor. If that sounds silly, it's because it is. Infants can't do what they can't do. And they will not stand idly by if you're forcing them to stand before they're ready. They will slump, and likely cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People have been raising babies for millennia, and doctors rarely see injuries or conditions caused by this manner of overeager parents.* Having a baby sit up early (allowing the legs to straddle properly) or to walk with assistance is fine; often the babies love and want to do this. They are eager to see and explore their world. Again, doing this (e.g. walking with assistance) will not happen if the baby hasn't already sent some time pushing himself into a standing position on the parent's lap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most parents want their child to succeed. Placing something continually out of their baby's reach is frustrating, and most people don't do this intentionally. If the baby tries and fails, parents will often adjust their expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea that you can encourage a baby to do something before it is developmentally ready to is foreign to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt;Having said this, children's bones and joints are different than those of adults. The most common unintentional injury inflicted on a child by overeager parents is a condition called &lt;em&gt;nursemaid's elbow&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/radial-head-subluxation-topic-overview&quot;&gt;radial head subluxation&lt;/a&gt;. This is not uncommon when a child is yanked by their arm when unwilling to follow an adult (hence the name &lt;em&gt;nursemaid's elbow&lt;/em&gt;). It's often also caused in an attempt by a parent to save a child from falling by holding onto the child's hand (an understandable maneuver and usually done reflexively), less commonly by rough play and &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/bones/nursemaid.html&quot;&gt;swinging a child by their arms&lt;/a&gt;. Gentle traction doesn't cause this. Lifting a very young child by the hands or arms might. It is good to note that there is no similar injury to the knee, hip, or shoulder. Bones do break more easily in young children. Falling on an outstretched arm can result in collar bone fractures. These are usually not readily preventable. Children love to run.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/infant-development-9/stages-of-development?page=3&quot;&gt;Baby’s First Year: How Infants Develop&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-06T07:14:54.187" LastActivityDate="2015-01-06T07:14:54.187" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18232" CreationDate="2015-01-05T22:48:37.073" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're being wise here. Acknowledge your son's true feelings of love and admiration for his playmate. But to have him express these feelings might cause some discomfort in someone in whom the feelings aren't reciprocated. As he has asked what he should do, you are giving him good advice. I would explain the consequences you mention in a gentle and straightforward manner, without being overly fearful of the negative possibilities. If he chooses to tell her anyway, he might be in for a pleasant surprise, or he will have been warned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this depends on the culture you (or the other child) are in. One of my children had a steadfast, reciprocated &quot;love&quot; (and I have no doubt it was love) for a playmate for years. Both sets of parents were fine with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, one of my other children professed (at 7) his admiration for a crush, and the parents not only called us in alarm, but forbade the little girl from talking to him in the future. It was a valuable (and somewhat painful) lesson all around. Boundaries need to be respected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children who never see or hear about boundaries don't learn how to set them well themselves. So while that proved to be a painful outcome, it was a valuable lesson nonetheless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-06T06:48:14.550" LastActivityDate="2015-01-06T06:48:14.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18204" CreationDate="2015-01-05T23:06:28.583" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, how lucky you are to experience no nightmares. Most people experience nightmares commonly. When one understands some of the purposes of dreaming, it's not really a surprise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, your hypnagogic sleep a disorder that is heritable. This is probably one of the reasons your child has night terrors. Luckily, these terrors aren't as bad as they sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does sound like your child has a pretty classic case of &quot;night terrors&quot;, named not because the baby is terrified, but because he &lt;em&gt;appears to be&lt;/em&gt; terrified. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically, it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is seen in preschoolers (as early as 5 months, but peaks at 3.5 years of age)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;occurs at the same time after falling asleep every night in the early part of sleep&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;happens during deep non-REM sleep when transitioning from one sleep phase to another&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eyes might be open, but child doesn't appear to be registering caregiver, rather seemes dazed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child has no memory of it in the morning&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lasts only a few minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is similar to sleepwalking, and children usually outgrow it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can be worse with fever, stress, sleeping in unfamiliar surroundings, sleep deprivation/tiredness (so midday nap is important), or an overfull bladder&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell your son's doctor. A physical exam should be done, and if sleep-disordered breathing is suspected, a sleep study may be ordered. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Treatment involves attention to the above, especially in your case, making sure the child has an adequate nap in the daytime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prevention is possible. Keep a sleep diary and note the times your child falls asleep and when he wakes up with terrors. When you've seen a pattern, try waking your child about 10-15 minutes before you expect a sleep terror episode. Keep your child awake for a few minutes to disrupt the transition of sleep cycles, and then let him fall asleep again. Repeat x 7 nights. If sleep terrors recur, repeat cycle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;keep the child safe; don't try to wake the child &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;warn babysitters and tell them how to deal with your child's sleep problem&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can progress into sleepwalking. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For further reading, see Sleep Terrors at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/night-terrors/basics/definition/con-20032552&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emedicinehealth.com/night_terrors/article_em.htm#night_terrors_overview&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;emidicine&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/night-terrors&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Ask Dr. Sears&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-05T23:06:28.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18167" CreationDate="2015-01-06T16:53:26.220" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Find a university/college near you and check out their local &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.acm.org/chapters/students&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ACM&lt;/a&gt; chapter. They may have high school outreach programs like the ACM high school programming contest. Even if they don't have anything specific for high school students, you are pretty close to being able to dual enroll. I highly suggest you dual enroll and take some courses. This will expand your network and give you a bit of directed study on the state dime. Once you enroll you will be technically a freshman and ACM shouldn't have a problem with you joining (ACM site does not list an age req just a student status). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also various programs and summer camps that focus on technology. Check out places like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.depts.ttu.edu/diversity/ideal/camps_programs.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Ideal program through Texas Tech&lt;/a&gt;, if it's close enough to you. The search string &quot;texas summer programming camps&quot; seemed to give a couple of good hits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2015-01-06T16:53:26.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3870" CreationDate="2015-01-06T18:59:20.537" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a smart phone, a dumb phone, and a tablet.  Our son is 16mo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The smart phone is boring. He played with it a lot and Mom lets him play with it anytime under supervision.  It doesn't do anything and it locks on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tablet is fun occasionally, Mom has some games on there for him and it has youtube.  The ability of youtube to display on the tivo/tv at the same time solved that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The dumb phone is the most fun.  It flips open and closed, can pinch fingers, and easily call important people or emergency services.  Dad takes it back because he doesn't want baby to accidentally wake up his boss, that makes this object very desirable.  To get around that Dad added a few dummy numbers at the start and end of the contacts list.  Those dummy numbers have been called many times now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11699" LastActivityDate="2015-01-06T18:59:20.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18175" CreationDate="2015-01-08T16:10:35.447" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to say that the primary reason your son is not eating food in the day is that he is getting it at night. So you need to cut down night feeds quickly to nothing. Limit it to 2 oz per feed on the first night (or 5 mins) and then reduce the number of feeds and the daytime intake will increase; it may take a couple of days, but I have known a number of mums whose kids have decided to not eat anything chocolate or sweets, and they have taken the attitude of withholding anything until they eat proper food. None have resisted more than two days and now all eat normally. You need to explain it too; your son is young but not too young to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-01-08T16:10:35.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18247" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-09T03:50:16.230" Score="3" ViewCount="10602" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am facing a very tough time with my 3.5-year-old who suddenly is refusing to nap in the afternoon or sleep at night. She used to nap at daycare but refuses to do so at home. Due to unavoidable reasons, I have to take her out of daycare for a few months so she is with me at home the full day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I maintain the same schedule in terms of waking her up the same time on weekends. I put her to nap at about the same time as the daycare (maybe 20 min later) as I see no signs of sleep in the afternoon. However, she refuses to nap. Nap time becomes a battle with her hitting and biting me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These days I have stopped trying to make her nap, hoping that she would go to sleep earlier at night. Typically she would wake up at 9.30 am and I would start making her sleep at 8.30 pm, but she won't sleep until past 10 pm. It becomes a very long day for me and I am exhausted at the end of the day and always screaming at her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note she sleeps with us in the same bed. Also, while putting her to sleep, I lie beside her the entire duration until she sleeps, so there is no separation anxiety or any other such issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13158" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-24T12:18:17.480" LastActivityDate="2019-05-24T12:18:17.480" Title="What to do about my 3.5-year-old refusing to nap or sleep?" Tags="|pre-schooler|sleep|violence|naps|bed-sharing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18232" CreationDate="2015-01-09T11:36:51.957" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your 7-year-old will still be struggling with this when he's 17. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's important for a parent to explain the difference between &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;infatuation&lt;/em&gt;, between a &lt;em&gt;relationship&lt;/em&gt; and a &lt;em&gt;crush&lt;/em&gt;. He might not be able to comprehend everything you'd like to tell him, but I don't think 7 is too young to start. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him know that even adults sometimes struggle with these feelings; we can feel strong emotions for someone even when we know little about them. Let him know that it's important to recognize these emotions, and to control them, rather than letting the emotions control you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that a bit deep for a 7-year-old? Perhaps. But consider it the start of a 10-year conversation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have a teachable moment on your hands. You might even be able to use it as a reference point down the road: “Remember when you were younger, and we talked about your feelings for Maria?”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I don't want to poison his innocence or experiences with my far more experienced, but biased views&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't want you to poison his innocence, either, but by all means, at least gently share your wisdom. If he won't get wisdom from his parents, where will he learn about such things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11960" LastActivityDate="2015-01-09T11:36:51.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11232" CreationDate="2015-01-09T14:36:40.977" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its still a great challenge for us to figure out our baby's needs. Our baby is 10 months old and now its winter, which naturally is making her appetite go high and naturally making her sleep longer at nights, but it still varies every single night. But be assured, you and the baby will get used to and get accommodated with the surroundings pretty well pretty soon. And remember you are not alone :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13161" LastActivityDate="2015-01-09T14:36:40.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18247" CreationDate="2015-01-09T14:40:25.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Simple answer:&lt;/strong&gt; If the baby is not tired, they will not sleep!&#xA;Give her some physical activities, hide and seek, race, trampoline, scooter, bicycle, and just a brisk walk outside with fresh air few minutes before sleep helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Complicated answer:&lt;/strong&gt; I'm not a professional, just another parent. So, don't expect one :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13161" LastActivityDate="2015-01-09T14:40:25.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18251" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-09T20:41:58.300" Score="7" ViewCount="3799" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are having our first child this July and a conversation that we have now and then is the prospect of having sex with our baby in the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read other questions related to this topic but I have found all answers to be inadequate...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here is my position:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children of ANY age are &lt;strong&gt;unharmed&lt;/strong&gt; by the awareness of their parent's sexuality and sexual activity if the parents age-appropriately explain how intimacy goes along with their lovingly committed relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here is my rationale:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I am of the opinion that parents are best positioned to talk to&#xA;their children about sexuality because the children trust their&#xA;parents. In the context of trust, talking about how two people who&#xA;are committed to each other also physically enjoy each other will&#xA;make sense of the parent's affection and sexuality. If the parents&#xA;are concerned that the child may be misinterpreting the sounds&#xA;coming from the bedroom as violence, the parents can easily clear up&#xA;the confusion by explaining it as the noise they make when&#xA;experiencing the pleasure of love making - which leads to my second&#xA;point.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The earlier parents communicate with their children about&#xA;sexuality, the less likely the child is going to explore their&#xA;curiosity on their own. There are a ton of YouTube resources* to&#xA;demonstrate how sex leads to childbirth that are very academic.&#xA;Guiding your child through how sexuality functions will deter your&#xA;child from &quot;playing doctor/mommy-daddy/other euphemisms for sex&quot;&#xA;games with their peers. If the consequences of sex is appropriately&#xA;explained, children will be less likely to &quot;play with fire.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children who grow up knowing that sex is natural, pleasurable,&#xA;and good &lt;strong&gt;in a committed relationship&lt;/strong&gt; will be much more prepared&#xA;to protect themselves from being taken advantage of AND they will be&#xA;more equipped to deal with their emotions if they tragically are&#xA;taken advantage of. Children who are aware of their parent's sexuality and its expression will be able to develop a framework for how they will personally experience their own sexuality.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What I'm not saying:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that you should flaunt your sexuality in front of your children or invite them into the intimacy you share with your spouse. The framework should be one that establishes that sexuality (as well as bathroom nudity) is something that happens in private; that sexuality shared in an intimate relationship strengthens bonds and affections; that sexuality has powerful consequences both chemically as a couple and physiologically if a life is conceived.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that there is no risk of harm. If you fail to navigate the issue well, I would not be surprised if the child grows up and has strange sexual proclivities, is unable to &quot;unsee&quot; what is seen, and needs therapy sessions to talk things through with a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Here's a YouTube video which beautifully explains how conception works with graphics appropriate for children: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFrVmDgh4v4&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFrVmDgh4v4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To restate for StackExchange purposes: What's the harm?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13164" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-09T23:15:13.427" LastActivityDate="2022-04-22T05:44:30.663" Title="Are children harmed by the awareness of their parent's sexuality and sexual activity?" Tags="|age-appropriate|social-development|sex-education|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18247" CreationDate="2015-01-09T21:15:53.263" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is common for children to stop napping at around 3-4 years old.  My 3.5 year old is almost like yours: doesn't nap for us most days, naps for daycare.  He also sleeps pretty late - 10pm is common - and wakes up by 7am (we wake him up).  He just doesn't sleep all that much.  Is that okay?  Sure.  Is it optimal? Nope... but such is life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we have had success with nighttime is a few things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, she is old enough to likely be better off not cosleeping (unless your space requires it).  Sleeping with someone else in the bed is &lt;em&gt;hard&lt;/em&gt;; it requires dealing with that person moving about, kicking, who knows what; even a calm sleeper still breathes.  If you can, I would consider seeing if sleeping in another room would help - it &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; helps my children, when we have to share a hotel room vs. have a suite there's a big difference.  Children don't need much - a sleeping bag on the floor would be a lot of fun likely as a trial.  Hard surface isn't at all a problem in most cases!  You can still lay next to her to help her go to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, make sure you have a very strict routine.  Bath if you have one, toothbrush, potty, books, bed - do it all in the same order every day, and have rules for how each one is done.  Routine is very calming for children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, develop strategies for dealing with the frustration that avoid you getting to the boiling/yelling point.  I have a 3.5 and a 21 month old.  I know how easy it is to get frustrated, trust me.  Sometimes I get to the point that I have to swap with my wife; that is a very effective strategy, because she's calm entering the situation and the change often calms the children.  A frustrated parent is an ineffective parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, I have boundaries and I try to allow the children to do some things within those boundaries.  If they need to run around a little, I tolerate that - as long as they understand the rules (has to be at least sort of calm running, if one is in bed no bothering that one, etc.).  All of the lights are off - no nightlights if they're active.  Nightlights only come on when they're settled. (And by all, I mean &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; - no light in the house, all curtains drawn).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth, see what you can do about various near-bedtime activities.  No screen time within half an hour of bed - most screens have a lot bluer spectrum that keeps people more awake.  Dessert is &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; as long as it's not chocolate heavy - sugar makes most people sleepy.  Full tummy is also good - cheese stick, carrots, that sort of thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, sometimes I find music helpful; either played from a speaker of some sort (phone, radio, whatever) or sung with the child (you'd think that would make it worse, but it seems to calm them).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-09T21:15:53.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18251" CreationDate="2015-01-09T22:54:56.023" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;None. There isn't any harm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's more harm to be found in children &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; &quot;knowing that sex is natural, pleasurable, and good in a committed relationship&quot;. If they were brought up to think the opposite - that sex was unnatural, painful, and bad - that certainly wouldn't be a good thing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your approach seems to me eminently sensible. It's not a secret that parents have sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Were you expecting disagreement? Your view seems mainstream to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Sears website, for example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/child-rearing-and-development/sexuality/7-ways-build-healthy-sexuality&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;says&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Your child ... needs to know how sexuality operates in healthy (...) relationships&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which seems to be basically the same thing that you're saying, unless I've misunderstood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/blogs/mom-congress/kathryn-young-thompson/sex-education-mandated-new-york-city-schools&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parenting Magazine&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;In little ways and as they’re ready, I work lessons about health, sexuality and how bodies work into our daily conversations.  Physical intimacy is special and our private bodies are private for a reason, but sex shouldn’t be something that’s scary or shameful&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, it seems to me to be pretty much what you're saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="9819" LastEditDate="2015-01-12T17:02:37.113" LastActivityDate="2015-01-12T17:02:37.113" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18251" CreationDate="2015-01-10T02:24:46.810" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you should not worry about all of this. Just talk to them when you think it's appropriate age for them to know about how this work and what nature is, and stop worrying too much about parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After all, we were in your shoes when we were not parents, turns out is not that bad, but be warned its not that easy either!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13161" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2015-01-11T15:51:01.810" LastActivityDate="2015-01-11T15:51:01.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18255" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18258" CreationDate="2015-01-10T05:55:08.613" Score="4" ViewCount="204" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are expecting our first within the next couple weeks, and while we have made significant preparations, we remain a little confused as to what constitutes a &quot;Birth Plan&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have already...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prepared a Go Bag of all the things we need for the hospital&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Know the hospital we're going to&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have registered our information with said hospital&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Know what things constitute &quot;go to the hospital immediately&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My workplace is fully informed of the progress and is planning to give me time off&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Made arrangements for who will catch and cut the umbilical cord&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have discussed what levels of pain medications to use&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything major I'm missing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13165" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T12:53:09.240" Title="What constitutes a Birth Plan" Tags="|pregnancy|birth|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6831" CreationDate="2015-01-10T06:03:08.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boyfriend does the hip squeeze thing and it is awesome. Regular back and foot massages help, too, and I've had a lot of back pain. The one thing our midwife pointed out, though, is do not massage or squeeze the Achilles's tendon or the area between the thumb and forefinger. Massaging these areas can lead to contractions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13166" LastActivityDate="2015-01-10T06:03:08.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18005" CreationDate="2015-01-10T06:13:58.010" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took Child Development a couple years ago. This is a phase all children (yes, boys and girls) will go through as a self-soothing thing. The phase will stick around for a year or two then mostly vanish. It'll show back up in the teenage years. As for the force your son is using- he'll probably stop when it hurts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13166" LastActivityDate="2015-01-10T06:13:58.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18255" CreationDate="2015-01-10T06:15:31.040" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure I can qualify this as an answer, but you sound like a man from your question, so let me comment on 2 of your non-missing elements:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Made arrangements for who will catch and cut the umbilical cord&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, it won't be her!  If it is her, then this is &lt;em&gt;far&lt;/em&gt; from your first child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have discussed what levels of pain medications to use&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Such a nice thought to have, isn't it?  Yeah, well, life might not care so much when the birth gets a goin' -- remember that it is her giving birth, not you, so if she changes her mind, let her.  You really don't want her to be in a mood to show you why you should have given in later on!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now... I planned, planned, planned... the Midwife, all the Nurses, and even the backup Doctor had printed copies of instructions.  I had &lt;strong&gt;&lt;i&gt;everything&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; planned! Random umbilical cord around the neck -- oh, yeah: prepared!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reality didn't seem to care about my confidence level.  Suddenly it was taking too long, the umbilical cord was wrapped around the neck, she got stuck mid-way, they needed to monitor her pulse by putting a thing into her head before she was out, the first one was a dud and had to do it again... and I had to make all the decisions on the fly!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yeah... going to all the classes, reading 4 or 5 books on birth, and everything else I could imagine just did not have me fully ready for reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I had the one thing that was my &quot;fail safe&quot;: her mother and I had agreed on the general principles.  My decisions reflected her decisions.  And where her input was needed, I deferred to her (the baby wasn't coming out of &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt;!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add to your list (as the guy who isn't healing) that the baby NEVER LEAVES YOUR PRESENCE!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you go and s/he gets shots, feet printed, etc. and you notice very few, if any, other parents there and know that &lt;em&gt;your child&lt;/em&gt; has a caring parent there, you'll appreciate it so much!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that helps, but still not sure that this 100% qualifies as an answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Oh, and congrats on your first!  It's truly the most stressful.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-01-10T06:15:31.040" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18259" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18260" CreationDate="2015-01-10T06:44:05.733" Score="14" ViewCount="1762" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm due in two-three weeks. I'd like breastfeed my son exclusively for at least a month or two (circumstance permitting). My question is: how do I include my husband in breastfeeding? We've talked about naked cuddling while breastfeeding because of oxytocin and skin contact. But I was wondering if there were any other ideas out there. I really want him to be included!   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13166" LastActivityDate="2015-01-11T21:30:00.940" Title="How to include Dad in breastfeeding process?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18259" CreationDate="2015-01-10T15:29:05.540" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a great question! Congratulations on your first baby and your decision to try breastfeeding. It's much harder than you think, but don't give up because it is very rewarding.  Anyway, some ways your husband can help are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before feeding, dad can change the baby and get her undressed. It'll give him some skin time, and some face time. My kids used to light up on the changing table-they loved the one on one time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you are feeding, dad can stroke and tickle the baby to keep her awake. Newborns often struggle to stay awake to eat enough. Dad can get you some water, decaf tea, or whatever beverage suits you (because you should get in the habit of drinking fluids at every feeding to keep yourself hydrated and the milk flowing) and a snack to keep your hunger at bay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the baby is bigger, he could read, sing, or play an instrument to entertain a fidgety baby who doesn't want to finish a feeding because she's too busy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the feeding, you can have dad burp the baby, and if your child is like mine who had bowel movements at every feeding early on, change her again. Once the baby is burped, dad can swaddle her and put her to bed, or, set her up for play time (even newborns will have a few hours of alertness-hopefully it won't be at 2am.) Having dad put the baby to bed is a GREAT habit to get into now if you do end up breastfeeding exclusively because when the baby is older and you are trying to eliminate night feedings, she will already be used to dad doing the soothing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you aren't breastfeeding the baby, if your goal is to promote bonding, absolutely have dad and baby do some skin to skin time. Your husband can also wear the baby in a sling or harness while he goes about his day to get even more contact. (I think only slings can be used for newborns; harnesses usually require the baby to have control of her head) And finally, you can encourage dad to bathe the baby. (My husband showered with our babies as soon as their cord fell off. It was their special time together. All my kids loved being held in the warm water, until they got too big and squirmy, and we switched to baths, which my husband is still in charge of.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My final bit of advice for how to involve dad in breastfeeding, which might be the most important, is to have your husband support YOU. Breastfeeding a newborn is very demanding, both physically and emotionally so it's important to have your husband there for you, encouraging you, taking care of you when you are too worn out to do it yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2015-01-10T15:29:05.540" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18247" CreationDate="2015-01-10T23:20:40.237" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your 3-year old sleeps 11-12 hours per day if I've interpreted your post correctly.&#xA;Kids that age often don't need more than that, although 12-13 is more typical. This will make both bed- and nap time difficult. Also, children typically gets more tired from daycare than from being at home (both for positive and negative reasons. They usually get more stimulated from interacting with lots of children and teachers, and the noise level is usually higher). Maybe the best solution is no nap at all. And if it's a problem that she is up very late, then just wake her earlier in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if you still want to try giving her naps, it might work if you don't express that it's a nap you're having. Tell her that you want to read her a story in bed, and if you're lucky, she's fallen asleep after a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3728" LastActivityDate="2015-01-10T23:20:40.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18263" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18264" CreationDate="2015-01-11T05:52:10.940" Score="13" ViewCount="729564" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a lot of information available about how long pumped breast milk can be kept for, generally citing different temperature ranges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the CDC (though the same reference is also cited by the Canadian Pediatric Society): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/F1Y0r.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's cited that milk thawed from the freezer should be used within 24 hours in the fridge, or 1 hour at room temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Mayo Clinic has an article saying &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/breast-milk-storage/art-20046350?pg=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;Other studies have shown that refrigeration beyond two days might reduce the bacteria-killing properties of breast milk&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, but no references to where this comes from or any further information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is exclusively pumping, and so there is a lot of milk cycling in and out of the fridge. She is always concerned about using milk taken out of the fridge (generally +/- 1 day old) within an hour or two. We often talk milk out (and let it warm up to room temperature), only to have baby fall back asleep. Is there a basis to how long fridge-temperature milk (stored at 3 degrees C for a day or two) can be out of the fridge for before it has to be used/tossed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13171" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-24T13:13:40.920" LastActivityDate="2019-01-24T13:13:40.920" Title="How long does breast milk last after taken from the fridge?" Tags="|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|temperatures|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18263" CreationDate="2015-01-11T06:45:06.273" Score="13" Body="&lt;h2&gt;The Short Answer&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breast milk can be safely consumed if it has been at room temperature for &lt;strong&gt;no more than 6 to 8 hours total, which includes &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of the time the milk spends above refrigerated temperature.&lt;/strong&gt; So, if you heat it up to room temperature, then put it back in the fridge after half a period of time, you to account for: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The time it takes to heat up the milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The time the milk spends outside of the fridge&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The time it takes for the milk to cool back down, once back inside the fridge. Depending on the initial temp, the bottle size, and the fridge temp, this could take another 30+ minutes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The longer the breast milk stays above refrigerated temperatures, the less time it will be viable in the fridge. Guidelines say that milk in the fridge can last 5-8 days, but that time will be considerably less if the milk isn't properly placed in the refrigerator immediately after pumping. Conversely, &lt;strong&gt;the longer the milk stays in the fridge, the less time it will be viable at room temperature&lt;/strong&gt;. Continue reading for more explanation and details.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The Long Answer&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In food service, temperatures that are ideal for breeding micro-organisms are called the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fsis.usda.gov/wps/portal/fsis/topics/food-safety-education/get-answers/food-safety-fact-sheets/safe-food-handling/danger-zone-40-f-140-f/ct_index&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Danger Zone&lt;/a&gt; or something similar. Different foods have different amounts of time they can spend in the danger zone based on the types of bacteria/organisms that grow on/in them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once a food has been taken into the danger zone, you also shorten its refrigerated expiration date. While fresh breast milk that's immediately put in the fridge may last 5-8 days, a bottle that's spent 2 hours at room temp may only last 3-4 days instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you'll find any hard data about how many more days a bottle will last in the fridge based on how long it spent at room temperature. That would have to be some very controlled experiments that, in the end, wouldn't serve much usefulness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question, we must make some inferences with the data we &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, we also know that if you freeze the expressed milk at all, then after you thaw it out it must be consumed within 24 hours or thrown out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, we know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keeping milk at higher temperatures decreases how long it will last at lower temperatures&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keeping milk at lower temperatures does not necessarily preserve the initial maximum safe time at higher temperatures&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Putting that together, and some general assumptions:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The longer the milk has been in the fridge, the sooner it will go bad. If it's only been refrigerator for a day, then it should still be okay for about 6 hours. If it's been in there for 5 days, I'd only give it 2 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife shouldn't have to worry about using day-old milk within two hours. I'd be surprised if you didn't get at &lt;em&gt;least&lt;/em&gt; four hours. &lt;strong&gt;However, if the room/milk temperature is greater than 77 F/25 C, then it will last significantly less than the noted 6 hours.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other factors to keep in mind that will affect how long milk last:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The cleanliness of the nipple area before/during pumping&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How well sanitized the storage containers are if they're reusable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How well sanitized and maintained the pieces of the pump that contact the milk are&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whether or not you store it in the &lt;em&gt;back&lt;/em&gt; of the fridge (because the front meets warmer air every time the fridge door is open)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much you warm up the milk, if &quot;serving&quot; it above room temperature&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Personal Experience&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We never had problems with refrigerated milk spoiling within 1-2 hours. When my son was under 1 year old we'd often leave a bottle in his crib with him at night. The ones he didn't finish would still be okay 4-6 hours later. We usually didn't &lt;em&gt;give&lt;/em&gt; it to him again, but if he woke up and decided to finish the bottle before we had a chance to take it there were never any problems. Rarely, if ever, did the milk stay in the fridge for longer than 2 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we did have times when milk stored in an insulated cooler bag with ice packs would spoil much faster than we expected, which made some of our longer car trips surprisingly more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-26T16:12:46.373" LastActivityDate="2015-07-26T16:12:46.373" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18259" CreationDate="2015-01-11T21:30:00.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pumping is a great way to get the father (or non-lactating parent) involved with the breast feeding process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pumping provides most of the same convenience benefits that using formula provides:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It allows the other parent to actively participate in feeding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It allows the other parent to take care of the infant during sleeping hours, so that the lactating parent can get some much-needed rest&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It allows for feeding the infant during times when it's inconvenient to breastfeed (for instance, during traveling where you may not want to be in the cramped car/busy gas station/airplane when you stop to feed)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It allows you to have more control over the feeding schedule by having bottles available even if the nursing parent isn't&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pumping isn't without drawbacks. For one, you have to acquire a pump and then all the bottle and storage accessories. It can add a significant initial cost that doesn't exist with solely breastfeeding. Another downside is that some women have a harder time producing as much milk from pumping as they do from nursing. These drawbacks can be mitigated by your choices such as purchasing more economical items, pumping more or less often as needed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The act of feeding a young infant can be a very positive bonding experience for both parents. Pumping allows for the other parent to be directly involved in providing sustenance to a cherished little one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, I intentionally wrote this answer (and some of my others) to also apply to for non-traditional family units.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-01-11T21:30:00.940" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18266" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-11T22:10:59.293" Score="9" ViewCount="763" Body="&lt;p&gt;My step son is 5. He's still struggling with the seperation of his parents. We have all been trying to reassure him in this home that he is loved. His father takes him for outings, sometimes, due to supervised visits his father takes his ex wife along too so she can can time in with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not getting any better, for anyone here. His father and I have a fourteen month old daughter. Who is not getting the same attention from her father. His spare time is dedicated to issues pertaining to his ex wife, work, or just making time to do things with his son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get it, she is so very young. She can't do legos with the boys. She can't play board games with them. Or cheer for a sports team with them while they cuddle up and watch a game together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And with this divide, I feel that his son is being shown that my daughter and I are not as valuable. He makes choices. We revolve her naps/ dinner around his schedule at times. He gets to leave with daddy and go places while we sit home and I prepare dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has no interest in playing with his sister. None. He will play around her, or play aggressively. I make play dates now, outside of the home during his school time for her. And I see a difference in other older siblings with their younger ones. No child is perfect, and I know we are all responsible for how they learn. I am just growing confused. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We finally had a family outing- all four of us- for the first time in a long while. When we came home, my daughter was by herself playing while he and his father were joking at the dinner table. I was doing dishes. All laughs, but then he came out with it again: He wants his sister and me to leave. He says this probably about once a day at least. Even in passing thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had gotten a bit violent with her before - choking her, kicking her off the couch causing a bad bruise under her eye. He has expressed violent behavior towards the family dog. To be honest, I'm not sure what else to do, and no one seems to think he needs help. Or is doing anything about it. I am not married to his father, I have no rights. I can't do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want my daughter to have her father and brother in her life. I just don't know how to get him to not see her as an enemy? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to show him that we are family too?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13173" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-01-12T05:42:10.443" LastActivityDate="2015-01-14T10:54:41.090" Title="Building a better relationship between half siblings for a more unified home?" Tags="|siblings|conflict|step-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18268" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-12T05:43:30.540" Score="17" ViewCount="38328" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son just turned 12 a few months ago, and boy is he a handful! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums, and hesitates to go to school every single day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no clue what to do at this point. Is it boot camp? Or am I just giving up to easily? Any suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13176" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-12T21:04:53.410" LastActivityDate="2018-11-16T00:12:50.300" Title="How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?" Tags="|behavior|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18226" CreationDate="2015-01-12T09:18:07.580" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most babies are capable of sustained sleep (6-8 hours in a row) at night by age six months. If you are nursing your child, it may take them a bit longer to achieve this. I think that it is reasonable that every child should sleep through the night most nights by 9-12 months of age. Now, every child wakes up sometimes at night. I view the awakenings as a problem if they are more than a few minutes in duration, occurring multiple times at night, or resulting in significant daytime irritability for either the child or the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby is having problematic night waking, there are a few possible causes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“Inappropriate” sleep onset associations. This is the classic sleep disorder of childhood described popularized by Dr. Ferber. Your child falls asleep under conditions that aren’t present later in the night (that’s was “inappropriate” means here). For example, you are rubbing his back or holding her; she is nursing; he has a pacifier in his mouth.  During the night your child cycles through deeper sleep, lighter sleep, and then may wake up for a minute or two every few hours. If the conditions aren’t present (e.g. she’s not in your lap) she will cry out until you go back in and pick her up. You fix this problem by teaching your child to fall asleep on his/her own by having them go to bed drowsy but awake. Sometimes, moving their bedtime later by 30 minutes may help with this process. They may fuss for a night or two but the awakenings should go away in a week. Here is my comprehensive review of sleep training techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learned hunger. This occurs in children who are drinking a bottle or two of milk or nursing for prolonged  periods at night. They are conditioned to expect food at night so they wake up looking for it. If your child is over one, healthy, and feeding multiple times at night and requiring diaper changes, this is likely your problem. If your child falls asleep eating or nursing you may have sleep association issues as well. I recommend reducing the volume of the bottles by an ounce or increasing the intervals between nursing by an hour nightly which should address this. Going “cold turkey” is hard because your child is actually hungry and you need to wean them off this. Here’s my article on how to stop night feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Medical disorders. Many common medical problems are overlooked as a cause of sleep disruption. If your child coughs frequently at night they may have asthma which needs to be treated. Acid reflux can be associated with belly pain and vomiting at night. Obstructive sleep apnea is a very common problem associated with snoring which can disrupt sleep. I would definitely recommend seeing your pediatrician about any of these concerns.&#xA;Environmental factors. These tend to be obvious. Is there a TV on in the room? If so, please take it out of there! Is there loud noise from neighbors or the road  outside? Does the child share the room with a sibling or parent who makes a lot of noise? A white noise generator or fan can be useful in these circumstances. If the room is hot or cold (&gt;75 degrees or less than 60 F) it can also be a factor. A good bedroom should be quiet, cool, and cozy. And please keep televisions and other electronics out of the bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“Too much time in bed syndrome”: Brett Kuhn coined this term. This may occur in older toddlers whose parents have kept the same schedule they had previously as they need less and less sleep. Imagine a child who was sleeping from 6 PM to 6 AM at age 1. Age age 3, this is likely too long a sleep opportunity, especially if the child is still napping. This child’s sleep needs may have decreased from 14 to 11 hours per 24 hour period. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, if you keep the same nocturnal sleep period, your child may be awake for an hour or two at night. Usually in this scenario, your child is happy when she wakes up at night and is well rested in the morning. This may be right time to get rid of a nap or consider a later bedtime. For more information, here’s my post on how much sleep kids need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check this out &lt;a href=&quot;http://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org/toddler-sleep-4-reasons-toddlers-wake-up-at-night/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org/toddler-sleep-4-reasons-toddlers-wake-up-at-night/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastEditorUserId="13178" LastEditDate="2016-08-12T06:42:43.460" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T06:42:43.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18272" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-12T12:49:52.353" Score="10" ViewCount="11762" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have several bookcases filled with books in our apartment. Our little Tasmanian Devil is not even walking yet, but everytime we put her on the floor, she starts crawling towards a random bookcase and tries to pull out one of the books on the lowest shelf; on occasion she pulls herself up and tries to pull out a book from the second lowest shelf. This will only get worse once she starts walking. We are trying to find a solution for this. As a first step, we have put all of our non-essential books in boxes in a separate storage space. We've also put all the valuable books in the higher shelves, and packed the ones in the lower shelves as tight as they can go, so that they are not so easy to pull out. However, we are aware that this is only a short-term solution: as she gets bigger, she'll become strong enough to pull those books out and start chewing on them, or rip pages out, or go at them with a crayon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way to keep her from pulling out our books until she's learned to handle them properly? A friend suggested installing doors on the bookcases, but that would be a last-resort solution (for one, we would have to have the doors custom-fitted to our bookcases, and at that point, we might as well go to Ikea and buy a brand new set of closed bookcases). I'm thinking more like a security gate that stretches the full width of the bookcase. Does this type of product exist, and if so, where can we purchase it from?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6861" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T18:10:05.527" Title="Securing books from toddler" Tags="|safety|books|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18272" CreationDate="2015-01-12T13:45:01.533" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are entering the &quot;flood state&quot; of childrearing. At least, that's what we dubbed it at our house: As the child gains more and more &quot;upward mobility&quot;, the lower levels of shelves get emptier, valuable items &quot;float upwards&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rest assured: This too will pass. Meanwhile, the empty shelves make a good place for toddler toys. ^_^ (But if you are considering a second or third child... well, you know the drill.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are various types of gates/fences on the marked for child-proofing an apartement. While they are usually used/marketed for fireplaces and similar, they could work in your case, too. I can't give you brand names or similar, because I we most likely live in different parts of the world... They are usually available in different sizes/styles etc. Not cheap, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, you could also try another approach: Teach your little Tasmanian Devil that &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; books are not for her - even small children can understand a firm &quot;NO!&quot;. She won't like it and she will &quot;test&quot; you occasionally if the rule still is valid. Repeat as needed. Make sure she has her own books and show her how to treat them with respect. Some damage is to be expected, but you set the boundaries. Chew on certain toys, color on paper, rip what you permit to be ripped (newspaper, gift wrap perhaps?). The reason I recommend this is simple: She will learn what is ok and what not - so when you leave out a book, there is less (mind: not &quot;no&quot;) chance of her &quot;going at it&quot; as you put it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-01-12T13:45:01.533" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18268" CreationDate="2015-01-12T13:51:19.660" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;At some point in your child's life they will do things not because you tell them to, but because they are the right thing to do. For example, a 40 year old pays their bills because in this society we pay our bills, not because their mother called and reminded them to pay their bills. As a parent, one of your tasks is to escort your child from the toddler stage, where you tell them to eat, stop eating, wear these clothes now, sleep now, wake up now and so on to the stage of adulthood where they decide what to do and they do the right thing because it's right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the only reason your 12 year old goes to school is because you say so, then as you've seen, it's simple enough to throw off your authority and not bother going to school. And if you assert your authority more strongly, they can throw off your authority more strongly, including name calling and tantruming. This can escalate indefinitely but you won't get what you want that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, back up a bit. How many decisions does he get to make for himself every day? (What to eat, what to wear, whether to do homework first thing on getting home or after a little playtime, etc.) Can you grant some more decisions to him? Not in an &quot;I don't care what you do, eat or not, it doesn't matter to me&quot; way, but in a &quot;hey, you're not a baby any more, I trust you to look after your bodily needs&quot; way? If so, you may meet some of his desires for independence. As well, if you simply reduce the number of things you tell him to do each day, you will reduce the number of times you're disobeyed which should make you feel better even if the instances of obeying don't increase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, talk to him. Why doesn't he want to do whatever it is you've just asked him to do? Is it because you're asking him to wear something he thinks is embarrassing, or because he hasn't yet learned that parents don't enjoy chores either, or because his homework has suddenly become very hard for him, or because something unpleasant is happening at school and he wants to avoid it? You can't just ask a 12-year old these things straight out: they often don't know and if they do know they don't want to tell you. But you can talk to them about day to day things and start to build up a picture of what's going on in their heads. If you're doing a chore together, it's a nice time to chat and way less pressure than &quot;come and sit here, we need to talk.&quot; Doing chores together is also a way to make sure they do them, and stirs less resentment than sending them off to do it alone while you do something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to model the behaviour you want from him. For example, if you react to being called a name with white hot anger, you're showing him that getting really angry when people say something you don't like is how adults behave. If you react by saying calmly &quot;I know I'm not stupid/selfish/lazy and it's rude for you to call me that&quot; then you're showing him a different way to deal with name-calling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a really hard few years. But it doesn't sound from your short question like it's time for you to give up and try to have someone else turn him into an adult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-01-12T13:51:19.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18263" CreationDate="2015-01-12T14:58:50.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I went through this with our first child. Digging through the internet searching for the perfect &quot;hard-and-fast&quot; answer. We took a different approach with our son (now 7 months). Just take a common sense approach. Smell it. It's milk after all. If it smells bad... it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-01-12T14:58:50.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18268" CreationDate="2015-01-12T15:42:36.263" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't see how boot camp will help you. Unless it is solved relationally any improvement will probably only be temporary at best and fear driven at worst.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, he needs to respect you. That's a simple fact. He's clearly trying to push you away, and it's a season where you have to not reject him and just stand firm in your love for him so he knows that he can't make you reject him. You need to put boundaries and clear consequences in place. Chrys had a very good point where he suggested to allow him more independence, and part of that is creating an environment where his choices really matter, and part of that is communicating clearly and calmly how his choices affect you, because you're a person too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As part of relating, children are much more comfortable sharing positive feelings than negative ones, so start asking him how he's doing when it's going really well, and then progressively more negative times. He's still little; 12 is very little so often won't understand what he is feeling let alone why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the discipline goes, you are going to find that if you put clear boundaries in place which are clear, what's required is clear (doing washing, being on time for school, speaking kindly to mum) you'll find that he may calm down. You just have to not take it personally and that is the hardest thing. Just keep going and don't give up. The school teachers are there to help you too, so talk to them as they spend 6 hours a day with him. Love doesn't always look like kisses and cuddles; part of it is discipline, but it is part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-01-12T15:59:18.940" LastActivityDate="2015-01-12T15:59:18.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18272" CreationDate="2015-01-12T16:12:41.073" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used 2 different solutions for the bookshelves themselves, although I read about more.  The main sources I found were blogs of parents doing DIY (Do It Yourself) modifications to their shelves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my small shelf that I displayed collectibles on, I purchased a pane of Plexiglas and Velcro tape from a hardware store and used the tape to make a removable, clear cover for my shelf. I chose this solution to avoid drilling or using nails. This worked until my son became more fascinated with playing the Velcro than any of his toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another solution was to purchase an extendable curtain rod. We used this on our larger (about 4 feet wide) bookshelves. You place the rod right up against the books, about in the middle of the shelf, and extend it as far as possible. This only works with the kinds you can twist to tighten/extend. Simply pull-to-extend types of curtain rods don't provide enough friction to hold themselves, or the books, in place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't get enough tension on the curtain rod, you may have to fasten something to the inside of the bookshelf to hold it in place, such as those circular rod-mounting brackets used to hold up rods between walls (like in a closet). We never went that far, and gave up keeping him out of the bookshelves once he started circumventing the rod. We put our books in temporary storage in our room, and filled the bookshelves with his toys instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We moved when my son was about 18 months old, and didn't want to keep our books in storage after that. We've still had issues with him taking books off the shelf, but &lt;strong&gt;we've mostly had success (and had the most success) by&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having a 6-cube shelf that's only his stuff.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leaving the bottom shelf or two of the other bookshelves full of his toys or books. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Constantly coaching our son not to pull on books (when the covers or pages are in peril). He likes to remove, stack, and replace the books so we let him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this success may simply be credited to time, but I prefer that we parents take all the credit we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I searched for baby bookshelf proofing solutions for days. I spent hours and hours trying to find a DIY solution that was affordable and wouldn't permanently mar our shelves. I ended up having to make my own solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have one of those baby playpens made from 6 interlocking plastic panels. For a long time I had to use that as a fence to keep him away from my shelf and my computer desk. It divided up the living room, so it didn't look the nicest, but it was effective. Eventually, I got tired of backing my computer chair into this &quot;fence&quot;, and having to step over it, so my search for shelf solutions started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-01-13T01:15:30.433" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T01:15:30.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18272" CreationDate="2015-01-12T16:34:03.057" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, you definitely will find that if you're consistent with your child, she will learn to leave things alone, mostly, that aren't that interesting and she's been asked not to touch, in most cases.  However, there are a few steps you can take to improve your odds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Move the bookcases away from areas that she primarily spends her time in.  This can be done in two ways - one, moving the bookcases, or two, moving where she primarily spends her time.  This could be as simple as defining an area with tables, rugs, etc., for her and her toys, and encouraging her to play there by placing the toys out.  If she's playing with your books because the living room doesn't have any toys, well, the solution presents itself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting her books on the bottom shelves.  That way she has something more interesting than your books to go at: her books.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Placing furniture in the room in such a way as to encourage her to utilize portions that aren't where the bookcases are.  Move couches/chairs/etc. so to create areas of more space (no bookcases) and less space (bookcases).  Kids tend to prefer more space areas.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to all of this, you should make sure to affix your bookcases to the wall (using a cable or other mechanism) if you're concerned about her climbing on them, to prevent the bookcase from falling on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-12T16:34:03.057" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18268" CreationDate="2015-01-12T16:45:44.283" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums..&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What this tells me is that your relationship with the kid still hasn't developed strong enough for the kid to trust you and open up to you about this problems. Rebelling is easy for kids because they don't know any better. &#xA;The way to deal with this situation is to get the kid to open up. The only way that's going to happen is by you earning his trust. Earning trust is going to take a lot of patience on your part and time. Spend more time with him doing chores, make an effort to understand what's going on in his school and social life. Talk to him about anything and everything he brings up and let him know that you are there for him. Have a family dinner with him everyday (A good time to talk to him about what's going on at school and understand his problems and challenges). Build up a relationship which makes him understand that he can open up to you and share his feelings. This is going to be difficult and requires a lot of effort on your part but it's imperative as doing so will greatly improve your relationship with the kid. You shouldn't do this to either make him listen to you and obey you. You should do this so that you can start teaching him how to become an adult and he is better of knowing that he has a parent who is loving, caring and is there when he in need. But the end result will be that he will begin listening to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that you asked this question here shows that you are serious about finding answers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13181" LastActivityDate="2015-01-12T16:45:44.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18272" CreationDate="2015-01-12T19:34:27.947" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered buying books for her age and putting those in the lower shelves? There are may toddler books water (or dribble) proof, and brightly colored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was growing up, my father's approach was that he wouldn't apply discipline when it came to books for fear that we got wrong associations about them, first we played with them as toys, then as books. Most of his books didn't make it through 5 sons ... but we're all pretty avid readers. I tried the same with my sons and they are pretty avid readers too. I'm in no way saying that you have to necessarily let them play with all your books... I just decided to sacrifice my books to ensure they were familiar with books. Maybe it was a wasteful sacrifice, I'll never know...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13185" LastActivityDate="2015-01-12T19:34:27.947" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18281" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18285" CreationDate="2015-01-12T19:47:49.517" Score="11" ViewCount="33067" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a list of emotions with an age range that is appropriate to teach kids? I would like to put the list on the fridge so that we (the parents) are reminded to use these words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-25T12:05:17.283" LastActivityDate="2020-06-23T17:33:53.040" Title="List of emotions to teach" Tags="|parents|teaching|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18282" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18292" CreationDate="2015-01-12T22:46:38.087" Score="5" ViewCount="80897" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have the Graco AFFIX Backless Booster Car Seat with Latch System, but our new babysitter's car does not have LATCH.  Would there be any difference between using this seat without LATCH (just with the seatbelt) and buying a LATCH-less booster seat? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2426" LastActivityDate="2017-04-15T12:06:06.353" Title="Is a LATCH booster seat used without LATCH any less safe than a LATCH-less booster seat?" Tags="|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18282" CreationDate="2015-01-13T02:39:36.417" Score="7" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Anchors for booster seats are only for convenience, not for safety.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;he LATCH system, as mandated in US vehicles from 2002 onward, supports a total combined weight of both child &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; seat of no more than 65 pounds. I found this information on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/news/2013/08/new-latch-car-seat-rules/index.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Consumer Reports&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the weight of your car seat or booster seat, this may mean the LATCH system only supports children weighing anywhere from 32-50 pounds. In these cases, it's necessarily safer to use the seat belts to secure the seat, rather than the LATCH system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason LATCH was developed was not because it is inherently safer, but because it's inherently &lt;em&gt;easier&lt;/em&gt; to secure the seats properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Securing seats properly with the seat belt straps is more difficult, so more care must be taken in doing so. However, seat belts do not have the surprisingly low maximum supported weight that LATCH systems do. Seat belts are designed to safely secure adult passengers of various weights. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Booster seats that only use the seat belt to secure the child, and don't secure the seat, gain no additional safety benefit from the LATCH system. &lt;strong&gt;It's there mainly for convenience: the child can get in the seat themselves without it shifting and it doesn't become &quot;free&quot; when not in use.&lt;/strong&gt; Children in this types of seats are more likely to outgrow or already by over the weight limits of LATCH systems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the booster seat is not in use, it should be anchored with the LATCH system or stored in a safe area, in order to prevent it from becoming a hazard during a car accident. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-02-24T18:12:03.533" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T18:12:03.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2015-01-13T02:46:22.227" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Update about the laughter, after some Google magic: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nervous_laughter&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nervous_laughter&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I'm Autistic and this is from personal experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I'm in a stressful situation or when I get nervous, my face will get extremely red and I will often start to laugh uncontrollably; it has costed me many friendships and it caused even more misunderstandings; and often people don't understand &quot;why&quot; - neither do I, I just do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can, it might be useful in due time to consult a specialist who might help her with laughing in these situations; it might save her a ton of hurt (and others).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the matter of her lashing out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was young and I did many of the same things to get the attention of someone because I wanted to tell them something or simply express myself but I didn't know how.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, she wants to express herself but she doesn't know how? &#xA;&lt;em&gt;note, for many Autistic individuals every situation that differs even slightly is unique and that can cause different behavior from us; most NT people call it &quot;inconsistent behavior&quot; [for those people, it might be interesting to observe what's different whenever one of those inconsistencies occurs; remember, we {autistic people} see details not broad strokes.]&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned you lost your job last year and that you might get evicted, that must be pretty scary and stressful. Perhaps, she noticed that you're stressed and scared and that scares her too? Perhaps, she doesn't know what to expect? (What's going to happen? When is it going to happen? Are we going to be homeless or are we going to Aunt Maureen? etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give her clarity, it's important that she knows that you have everything under control and that you're doing everything you can to make sure everything is going to be okay. And prepare her for alternative scenarios. For instance, (hopefully not.. but) if you do get evicted, what will happen? Where will you go? What does she need to know? etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice: Observe her behavior whenever she's lashing out. It's difficult for most Autistic people to express ourselves accurately (if we express ourselves at all) with words, it's really our behavior that counts. And ask yourself:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What happened before she started to lash out?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What did she do when she lashed out?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and so forth and keep a log of these events and find the patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important that you reflect on the event afterwards with her* and really cut down to the core of the issue and ask her direct (easy) questions like &quot;What happened?&quot; &quot;Can you describe how it made you feel?&quot; etc. As long as you keep the questions short and concise, she'll have an easier time answering. Additionally, don't answer for her, give her enough time to figure it out for herself; if after a minute or so she still hasn't figured it out, help her on her way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;* please, please while she's lashing out or simply smiling when you're upset, try not to add to her discomfort, I realize, it's uncomfortable for you too; but you're the adult! Calling her names or responding in an angry way to her bad behavior isn't going to help, it's just going to make things worse - and she will have a harder time expressing herself to you in an acceptable way later on. &lt;em&gt;it may even seem like things will turn up right but that's often short term, you'll want to find the appropriate solution for long-term&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this is a long answer with lots of information and I can't guarantee any of this will actually help you or her but it may be a good start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember, while it may seem at times that children (NT and otherwise) will lash out for no reason, more often than not, there actually is a reason that often doesn't seem obvious. This is especially true for autistic individuals, we don't always know how to handle a situation or how to tell other people what's bothering us and that's not because we don't want to. It's because we don't know how.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learn the signs, figure out what's happening in her mind; and teach her how to deal with situations in a positive manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13188" LastEditorUserId="13188" LastEditDate="2015-01-13T02:52:31.047" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T02:52:31.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18281" CreationDate="2015-01-13T03:05:44.400" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my youth, I was exposed to emotion charts. The earliest this occurred, for me, was 9 years old. However, there are simpler and more age-appropriate charts available for younger children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The two charts below are the exact same ones I saw countless times when I was younger. In fact, I had a French version of the second one (How are you feeling today?) on a T-shirt because I took French classes in high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other resources exist, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://thekidcounselor.com/articles/how-to-make-and-use-a-feelings-chart/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;How to Make and Use a Feelings Chart&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://challengingbehavior.cbcs.usf.edu/docs/ttyc/TTYC_A_EnhancingEmotVoc.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Enhancing Emotional Vocabulary in Young Children (PDF)&lt;/a&gt;. That second link is primarily focused on 3-5 year olds and has a list of over 60 emotions or &amp;quot;feeling words&amp;quot;. This suggests that young children are capable of being taught a wide array of emotions, feelings, or moods. However, some of them may be hard to depict using charts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest reading the article linked. The article is a &amp;quot;module&amp;quot; from training resources available from &lt;a href=&quot;http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations of Early Learning&lt;/a&gt;. They have many other materials geared for infants to Pre-K toddlers (which is still in the 3-5 age range as above). They have their own feelings charts that usually only include about 10 more basic emotions, but they don't seem to suggest teaching &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; those emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If these strategies have been found to be effective for such young children, then one could presume that more extensive charts and emotional vocabularies would be suitable for older children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GuTEk.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Feelings Chart&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/qVRGN.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;How are you feeling today?&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you search for &amp;quot;How are you feeling today?&amp;quot; on a site like Amazon you can even find pre-made poster charts, such as the laminated kind that have great durability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="14245" LastEditDate="2020-06-23T17:33:53.040" LastActivityDate="2020-06-23T17:33:53.040" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18287" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-13T04:08:33.173" Score="4" ViewCount="392" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been working on the Sleep Lady Shuffle with our 15-month old. We're on night three which means we're still next to the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put our son down almost asleep. He's calm and relaxed. As soon as he goes in the crib though he treats it like playtime. He tries to sit or stand up and I put him down gently but firmly and say &quot;no, goodnight.&quot; and he grins and giggles. That goes on for about an hour then he starts finally giving up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last night we started at 730pm and he fell asleep at close to 9pm. He woke up at 4am and wouldn't fall back asleep and we got up at 6am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to be boring and dull but he enjoys it. What can I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: the last two nights have gone better. He's begun sleeping longer through the night, and only waking up closer to the morning. Typically now he will sleep straight past 2 am. He's still waking up very early (usually 430), which I suspect is partially due to his diaper being wet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13190" LastEditorUserId="13190" LastEditDate="2015-01-15T15:35:50.840" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T21:10:44.970" Title="Sleep Training giggles" Tags="|toddler|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6619" CreationDate="2015-01-13T09:06:33.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is just anecdotal obviously, but mine started helping with cutting things when she was 2 years old; mostly cutting mushrooms with a butter knife. She's 4 now and she uses a regular cutting knife on simple things like leek, mushrooms, cucumber and other fairly large or soft goods. She also cut tomatoes into blocks without any help yesterday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have yet to see anything go wrong, she seems quite aware of what she's doing and doesn't play around with the knife. All of the experience and starting off with the simpler things seems to be helping her grow in term of motor skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you're in the area, there is enough room, the materials aren't too complicated and you don't criticize poor skill (I often have to do a second cutting to make the pieces smaller) they can handle a knife just fine. They will quickly learn to do better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But basic knife skills aren't &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; dangerous; it's only when you do tricks like dice an onion or cut a slab of meat or use a cleaver that it gets a little scary; that I would delay until they are substantially older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="13196" LastEditDate="2015-11-03T13:08:59.737" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T13:08:59.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18287" CreationDate="2015-01-13T11:26:58.130" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not familiar with the &quot;Sleep Lady Shuffle&quot;, but what you describe sounds very normal to me. It's &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_operating_procedure&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SOP&lt;/a&gt; for babies to do that I'm afraid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continue to be totally consistent with the routine night after night and he'll get used to it and come to expect it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience the best way for me to be present in the room but totally boring is to go to sleep myself - or pretend to - but actually going to sleep works best... a sleeping bag and camping mat on the floor may be necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Comforting music (gentle and quiet) and low lighting levels are also helpful. If you can't actually go to sleep then try being deeply absorbed in a newspaper or a book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T11:26:58.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18290" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-13T12:49:18.870" Score="14" ViewCount="13618" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the father to a 14 month old son, an only child, and he is pretty much how I would expect a toddler to be.  He has an unquenchable curiosity, a need for play, occasional cuddles, intense desires to perform strange focused tasks, and a spectacular display of dramatics when he is throwing a tantrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately I am wondering if this one behavior is normal and how to get him to stop.  He occasionally will just kind of wander around looking for something to do, and when he sees the dog he runs over and just starts to hurt him.  He will smack the dog, grab his droopy lips or long Bassett Hound ears and pull on them, sometimes he even tries to step on him when he is laying on the floor.  What makes this even more concerning is that he is &lt;em&gt;enormous&lt;/em&gt; for his age so his size and strength don't match up with his emotional or mental maturity just yet.  He registers 99% percentile in height and 90% in weight according to the pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dog is thankfully incredibly easy-going and extremely patient through all of this.  He will sometimes squeal in pain but he never snaps or displays any aggressive behavior.  He is starting to become scared of the toddler however and it breaks my heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course when I see it happen I physically prevent him and try to give him a firm NO!  I don't think he mentally grasps the concept of NO just yet or if he does, he doesn't seem to have the impulse control to stop himself.  When I stop him and tell him No he more or less seems annoyed.  I have also tried positive reinforcement by teaching him how to pet and hug the dog.  He will pet nicely and then give a nice big hug and he responds well to praise. He seems pleased with himself when I praise him for being nice, but then I can see his body start shaking like he is about to do something he has no control over and then he starts getting hyper and violent with the dog again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is a sweet boy but I am wondering if this random violent hitting behavior is normal in 14 month old boys?  Is this a phase?  Is this a sign that he might grow up to be a violent person?  Also what techniques can I try to help teach him NO and to stop hurting the dog?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4190" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T15:23:44.560" Title="Stop a 14 month old from hurting the dog" Tags="|toddler|discipline|violence|pets|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18255" CreationDate="2015-01-13T12:53:09.240" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A birth plan is normally something you'd bring with to the hospital / birth centre / whatever and discuss with the midwives / whoever is providing care. If you have some continuity of care from pre-natal care then you'd already have discussed this with the care providers in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a way of summarising and collecting details that are important to you about the birth process itself - so yes, stuff like who will cut the cord, and what pain medication you are prepared to accept, but also if you particularly want baby cleaned or not cleaned before being given to you, if you've been doing hypnobirthing and there are particular mantras / phrases that will help you, if there are topics of conversation that should particularly be avoided etc. Anything at all that is important to you that your care providers should be aware of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are loads of example or template birth plans online, which google easily turns up. Read a few and take the bits that are useful to you and discard the bits that aren't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when you are done go and read this: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jamie-and-jeffs-birth-plan&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jamie-and-jeffs-birth-plan&lt;/a&gt; and have a good laugh. And remind yourselves that neither the baby nor Mother Nature can read and despite your best intentions it may all have to be thrown out of the window in the event!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1477" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T12:53:09.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18282" CreationDate="2015-01-13T12:54:03.603" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;With car seats for younger children (infants or toddlers), there are straps which hold the child into the car seat and then an additional system to secure the seat to the car. This used to be with a regular seat belt, but in modern vehicles is more commonly with LATCH. (Having once fed a seat belt through a toddler seat in a car without LATCH, it's quite obvious that the LATCH system was a terrific innovation for its ease of use.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast, the child is being restrained &lt;em&gt;by the car's seatbelt&lt;/em&gt; when sitting in a booster seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A booster seat is a firm cushion of foam or plastic that raises the child higher in the car to improve the position and angle of the shoulder belt. &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.carseat.org/Boosters/627_choose_boost.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Source&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Booster seats are a type of child restraint that do not have a five-point harness system, but rather &lt;strong&gt;rely on the vehicle seat belt system to keep your child restrained&lt;/strong&gt;. The booster seat elevates your child so that the vehicle seat belt is positioned properly over your child. Booster seats should be used in the rear vehicle seat with a lap and shoulder seat belt system, never a lap belt-only. &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.britaxusa.com/learning-center/car-seats-101/booster-seat-basics&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Source&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(emphasis mine)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The LATCH connection for the seat you have isn't providing any additional restraint -- imagine your child sitting it in without a seatbelt, it's just as easy to fall forward in the case of an accident whether the seat is secured to the car or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing is to &lt;strong&gt;make sure the booster seat is is used with both a lap and shoulder belt.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would personally purchase an additional (LATCH-less) booster seat for the babysitter's car, so it's always there and you won't ever have the problem of forgetting to transfer the seat. We actually own four booster seats for two kids, to cover a range of possible transportation situations -- the extra set purchased after one frustrating week where we forgot to transfer seats &lt;em&gt;every single day&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T15:31:50.070" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18290" CreationDate="2015-01-13T15:53:21.407" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;14 months is pretty young to learn to be truly nice to another - he almost certainly has very little empathy at this point.  He's not trying to hurt the dog; he's pushing a button that makes a bell ring, basically: cause, effect, nothing more. The fact that the dog doesn't react much is a good thing - it makes it likely to be a shorter phase, rather than if the dog did something more exciting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, I'm not surprised &quot;NO&quot; doesn't really work.  It doesn't in most cases, unless you're actually scaring him (which is a bad idea for other reasons).  That's a short term solution only - it hopefully stops him in the one instance, but it won't work the next time or the next time after that.  He needs to see how to properly interact with the dog, and understand why it's important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, you can try what worked for us.  First, when you see him approaching the dog but &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; anything's happened, sit next to him and the dog, and show him how he can interact with the dog in a positive manner.  Pet from head to tail, the easiest motion for the child, and reinforce verbally (&quot;Pet nicely&quot;, &quot;Pet this way&quot;, &quot;Nice doggie&quot;, etc.).  Make it fun, and show with your actions how to do it.  Do this frequently - it won't work the first or the second or the third time, but after a while he'll be used to seeing you do it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, when you see him doing something he shouldn't, rather than &quot;NO&quot; (which will likely turn this into a more adversarial interaction), go over to him and sit down, and tell him &quot;No thank you, that hurts the dog. No pulling on the ears. We don't pull the tail. Instead, pet nicely&quot;, and again show nice petting and go into that routine.  This is classic redirection.  The &quot;that hurts the dog&quot; probably won't have much effect; but eventually it will, and once he starts to gain empathy for others it'll be something he remembers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, the main focus at this age is simply showing good behavior.  Most of his behavior he learns from watching how you behave at this point.  This is good and bad of course - but it's mostly good, because it means you can model good behavior and have a good likelihood of him imitating it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T15:53:21.407" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18272" CreationDate="2015-01-13T17:05:46.350" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Chances are good your daughter is acting out you and your spouse's patterns in the home - she sees you two handling books, and so she too wants to handle books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typical training will help - stay in the room with her whenever she is in there, and when she approaches the bookcase, redirect her attention to the books she is permitted to handle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, that's too difficult for me.  We ended up choosing books we did not want damaged, and putting them higher.  We want our children to handle books, even if it means the occasional damage.  This actually provides opportunities to teach them not to tear, draw, or otherwise harm books.  The boundary line, for us, becomes &quot;We want to you have access to books, but you must treat them properly&quot; rather than &quot;We do not want to you have access to most books.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that most of our children are voracious readers, this approach has worked well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have I been occasionally disappointed by a damaged book?  Yes.  Of course.  But the benefits we are now reaping have been worth much more than a few damaged books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't put the important books out of reach, installing doors is probably less expensive than you think.  You can buy tempered, ground edge glass panes from your local glass shop, then add &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B008SO8MXC&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;glass door hardware&lt;/a&gt;, drill a few holes and install them easily and inexpensively.  Even less expensive if you use standard plywood and hinges, but perhaps not as attractive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are willing to drill holes in your bookcase, though, then another option would be to drill holes in the sides near the front of each opening, and insert a dowel so that it passes in front of the books.  Cases that are sized correctly for the books will, with such a dowel, prevent book removal as long as the case is full of books so that the books can't be turned sideways.  You can do the same without holes using closet hanger rods and rod holders, or friction fit rods.  Or small eyehooks with decorative chains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T17:05:46.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18290" CreationDate="2015-01-13T22:30:38.260" Score="-6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you ever thought of just spanking the kid?  Whenever I was young, that taught me pretty quickly what was acceptable and not.  Joe's answer seems like another solution that you would work (It is essentially how you train an animal).  Just how I was brought up, and I seemed to grow up fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13205" LastActivityDate="2015-01-13T22:30:38.260" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18296" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18307" CreationDate="2015-01-14T02:07:28.163" Score="11" ViewCount="819" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old daugther always wants my attention, and I try my best to give it to her. Either by telling stories, playing with stuffed animals, reading books, or anything else she likes to do. I have heard of too many dads who neglect their daugthers and I don't want to be one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But at the same time I think now that I have given her too much. Whenever I am at home (evenings and weekends), she always follows me around and says &quot;Daddy what can we do now?&quot;. If I say that I want to be by myself and that she should play by herself for a while she often turns on the waterworks and goes crying to mommy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do? How can I wean her off my attention? Do I even need to? I want to be a good dad but I also want to have a life of my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T03:42:11.490" Title="4 year old daughter starved for Dad's attention" Tags="|pre-schooler|attachment|attention|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18296" CreationDate="2015-01-14T04:00:37.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you bring a child into the world without your world being consumed by their needs? Give them a sibling so they have each other! Get them a dog! (Just kidding.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is, you don't. Parenting is a full time job, and the time you put in now will pay you back when she becomes a strong, independent functional societal unit and still loves and respects you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean you have to be at her beck and call. It doesn't mean that there shouldn't be activities that she can do quietly. However, it does mean that her needs come first (and here I think I'm sensing some resentment on your part for painting your child in a childish and immature light - &lt;em&gt;she often turns on the waterworks and goes crying to mommy&lt;/em&gt; - yes, that is what childish and immature 4 year olds do. They act like 4 year olds.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do deserve credit for the things you're doing right, and I admire you for them. You're probably drained at the end of the day and would like to rest some. So what do you want to do? If it's an activity like gaming, then you just need to set priorities. Figure out what is more important to you than your daughter, and do it without feeling guilty. But if you do feel guilty, there must be a conflict in there somewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know your home situation. If your wife is a stay-at-home-mom, she needs a break from your daughter, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are chunks of time that should be your own (away from work), but these should be a small percentage of your time right now. Then there are chunks that should be just your wife and you - a larger percentage of your time. The rest is with your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to find a balance between doing things with her that you feel obligated but unfulfilled doing (perhaps like playing with stuffed animals or playing Candyland) and doing things that you both like doing (there are some terrifically good children's books out there), outdoor stuff, sedate stuff (kid's movies), etc. Maybe you can do something else while you're attending to her that is shared and fun for you: photography, or art. But it all matters to her. Make it count, be present, impart values to her while doing stuff together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she gets older, there will come a time when she will want to shut you out (hard to imagine right now, right?). There will come a time when she will be embarrassed by you, and will even think you don't know &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt;. It happens with almost all kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When that time comes, you'll probably reflect on earlier times and think, &lt;em&gt;what did I do wrong?&lt;/em&gt; Everyone goes through some degree of that. The key is to have an answer that is acceptable to the future you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-14T04:12:17.363" LastActivityDate="2015-01-14T04:12:17.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18296" CreationDate="2015-01-14T05:32:01.770" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've seen quite a few articles the last few years like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/raise-great-kids/intellegent-creative-child/boredom-busters-good-for-kids&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; that promote the importance of letting your kids have unstructured time, or in other words, to get bored.  A lot of our generation worry about quality time so much that they sometimes swing the pendulum too far the other way.  A certain balance is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's okay for her to be sad about unstructured alone time starting.  At her age, it's not usually a sign that she's starved for attention, or that you've been over-indulgent.  It's a normal response.  One thing I've found that helps ease the distress is to not just say you need alone time, but couple that with a discussion about future plans.  &quot;I need some alone time right now, but later I have a new game I want to try out with you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it doesn't always have to be all or nothing.  My kids often like to do &quot;alone&quot; time quietly in the same room as me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-01-14T05:32:01.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6262" CreationDate="2015-01-14T08:07:48.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just know that you are not alone. You are not a faliure your an awesome mom.  Consistency, routines, consiquences, but also a lot of praise when he does something good even when it's small. When you tell him to do something/chore, is one thing at a time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13211" LastActivityDate="2015-01-14T08:07:48.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18266" CreationDate="2015-01-14T10:54:41.090" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;More information might be helpful, but I'll give this a go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your heartbreak is clear and contagious. I wish there were great answers to offer, but there aren't. It's a difficult situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although your little one needs her daddy, she does have you. Her dad will need to play a more significant role a little later in her life. Some attention is important, though; he shouldn't be a stranger to her. He can help with things like feeding her, reading her a bedtime story, letting her play nearby with toys while he plays with his son, etc. Your step son, meanwhile, seems to have (to a significant degree?) lost his mom. He really does need his dad's extra attention right now, and maybe his dad feels too guilty to deny him all that extra time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how long your stepson's mother and father have been separated, or the why's and wherefores. If it hasn't been a long time, your step son has reason to wish his mom and dad were together again. Though it's painful to hear, it's a fact and there it is. It would help if he didn't say it every day, but it wouldn't make those wishes go away. If it's been a long time already, then his dad should have some serious conversations with him about his expression of this wish. He needs time in a stable environment for those feelings to subside. The best thing &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can do for him is to help provide as much of that stability as you can (and it sounds like you're doing this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hurting his little sister, a dog, or anyone/anything else should be completely and unconditionally forbidden, and dealt with immediately and consistently. Please read a book or two on child discipline, and then talk to your partner about how best to deal with this. If he is acting out, he needs to find a more socially acceptable way to express his feelings. Teaching him feeling words and really working to hear him might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, none of this is easy, and it becomes more difficult if your partner isn't helping. If this is the case, and you've spoken to him about it repeatedly and nothing has changed, it's time to see a therapist together. What's really not helpful to anyone is to have a lot of tension at home. You and your partner owe it to both of the children to be united and both working at this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he will not go, then go alone. You need some help with these painful feelings, and some help with how to navigate these difficult waters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope things get better for all of you soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-14T10:54:41.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2015-01-14T13:45:39.187" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, my LO does this burrowing frantically and refuses to nurse. She has to have her face buried and me standing and walking around to soothe her alot. I was told they do this for reflux. (Even silent reflux) which also makes sense because she was recently diagnosed and is on Zantac. Rooting is completely different than what you're describing. If you find that the baby won't nurse during the episodes, check into reflux. There is a lot of info on other sites/forums with parents describing the same issue with Reflux not hunger as the cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13214" LastActivityDate="2015-01-14T13:45:39.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18302" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-14T15:12:32.350" Score="12" ViewCount="2581" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had my 4 year old going for swimming lessons starting this summer in June. She was doing ok at first, got into water learned a lot. She can bobs, front float, back float with no problem, as far as swimming freestyle she is not there yet it is too hard, but sometimes she is trying hard.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main problem is that it is January now and she has been in the swimming lessons for 6 months already and she doesn't want to do anything, just stays in a pool by the wall and when instructor wants her to do something she just doesn't do it. The lifeguard at the pool told be after last class that they are going to move her to level 1, (she is in level 2 now) but I don't feel that it is a good solution.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that they should change the instructor in the class, which they could, they have lots of them. I have seen my child with other instructors and she was doing ok there was no problem and now when they changed to this boy lifeguard she is not swimming at all.  I have tried to persuade my child to be good and do what the lifeguard is telling her to do, but she just doesn't want to, she says that she is afraid, but if she is with different teachers she does things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do anymore. I see kids that started swimming at the same time as she did and they are in level 3 now and I just have been told that they are going to move her back to level 1.  I don't think this is a good solution to this problem. Does anyone have a better idea how to solve this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13215" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-01-14T16:09:59.530" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T23:23:19.047" Title="4 year old afraid of swimming" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|swimming|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18302" CreationDate="2015-01-14T16:07:21.567" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she might be scared of that particular instructor -- for whatever reason, silly or serious, I think that should be treated as valid. Ask her if she can explain what about him scares her. Swim with her yourself sometimes (not during a lesson) and try to observe particular actions in the water that scare her -- face in the water? water in her eyes? being out of depth? etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When approaching the pool/lifeguard about a change of teachers, approach it diplomatically. He may have done absolutely nothing wrong -- maybe she hates the color of his hair or his voice sounds like the bad guy out of a cartoon, neither of which he can control and don't affect his teaching techniques. (Of course, if your daughter says he once ducked her under the water or said mean things or other actions which are clearly inappropriate teaching techniques, &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; bring it up. Either he sees it as an opportunity to positively improve, or the pool realizes he shouldn't be teaching that age group.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be willing to change to a different class time if that's the only way to get a different instructor and that is agreed by everyone as the best solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-01-14T16:07:21.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18302" CreationDate="2015-01-14T21:53:18.997" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried teaching her swimming yourself? With both of my kids, we'd go to the pool a fair bit and swim together to get them used to water, basic dog paddle, putting their heads underwater, etc. This means that when they did their proper lessons, at least they were not afraid of the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A different instructor may help, but I often see parents trying to get involved from the side of the pool rather than getting in with the kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2015-01-14T21:53:18.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18306" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18309" CreationDate="2015-01-15T03:13:45.997" Score="9" ViewCount="3149" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some years ago my partner, A, and their spouse, B, separated, and now their daughter, O, lives with A and me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the time everything was of course incredibly stressful for all involved, but in the intervening time (and with alot of work from us) resulting issues were mostly dealt with and things started to settle down - however the relationship between B and A is hostile at best, there is alot of resentment and bad feelings still.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently there were some serious incidents between B and O, and O is worried sick about how they will treat her, what they will say, what questions they will ask when she next has to have contact with them. She has good reason based on past track-record of B to assume that these things won't be friendly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The result is that O can hardly sleep before 1 or 2 AM each night, as her contact time with B looms. We are trying to figure out a solution to the problem, and I think we will, but until we come up with something she is exhausted each day and stressed due to her lost sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The things we've tried to help her sleep are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talking about her problems with her, offering appropriate advice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;listening to her and validating how she feels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;calm music, audiobooks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making her feel safe so she can talk openly about how she feels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making it OK to be awake, to avoid stressing about not sleeping (which was an issue before)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;warm milk, hot water bottle, night light&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;night rescue, a bach flower remedy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given how much stress and worry O is under, and that our efforts to reassure her have been proportional to that, is there a way that we can help O deal with her worry and sleep more easily?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried something new over the weekend, taking advice from some of the answers here.&#xA;In the evening, after dinner we had 1 hour of quiet play and talk time, we played card games and fooled around mostly. O talked about her worries during this time and we responded as we would normally, and reassured her that. Then I filled up her hot water bottle, made sure she had her night light and some calm music to listen to, and gave her some night rescue ( a herbal remedy for worries and repetitive thoughts ).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the result was a good nights sleep - not a peek!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13217" LastEditorUserId="13217" LastEditDate="2015-01-19T09:57:05.780" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T09:57:05.780" Title="How do I help a stressed out 9 year old sleep?" Tags="|sleep|anxiety|abuse|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18296" CreationDate="2015-01-15T03:42:11.490" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;One way to encourage her to be a bit independent is try to engage in some less &lt;em&gt;explicitly fun&lt;/em&gt; things together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Well, right now Daddy needs to _____. Do you want to watch/help?&quot; This might be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fold some laundry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do light yard work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cook a meal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tinker with the car.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Write an email.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change a light bulb.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whatever stuff you do around the house that isn't purely for entertainment purposes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not every activity with your child needs to be FUN, or oriented to her interests specifically. There's a chance she'll get bored and want to go play on her own (yay, free time!), at worst you get an interested helper who might be able to contribute slightly. My favorite times with my dad were not when he played with my toys or helped me do puzzles, it was when we were in the basement workshop and I got to play with a HAMMER AND SCRAP WOOD while he puttered away on whatever he was puttering with that month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I need to do this activity&quot; feels less like rejection than &quot;I don't want to be around you right now.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T03:42:11.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18306" CreationDate="2015-01-15T04:34:36.940" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Without a thought, to protect my daughter, I would happily and honorably sacrifice my life. I have actually kidnapped her from her mother (legally, yes), denied legal visitation after being asked what to do when her mother went into a bar and she had to sleep in a plastic bag behind a bush outside, and rescued her when my ex-father in-law remanded her to my custody with the words, &quot;Now she is in good hands.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each time I had to act to protect her, my spirit was torn some... not because I &lt;em&gt;had to act&lt;/em&gt;, but because &lt;strong&gt;her spirit was torn some&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I felt that preface to this answer necessary because there are unpleasant things and there are things no child should ever have to experience.  I wish to address both since you said, &quot;there were some serious incidents&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is in imminent danger and a real threat to her safety exists, then do not hesitate to deny visitation to her other parent.  In the US (I am not in the UK), a parent has a right to do that and the only recourse is for the police to get involved or a court order to be sought by the other party.  Just be sure to document everything &lt;strong&gt;and know the laws in your locality&lt;/strong&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many courts have some policy of over a certain age, then the child is heard by the court.  When I was young and my parents were divorcing, they asked my view in private chambers and reasons for my views so as to take them into consideration even though I was not within the statutory age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if she is forced to go to the other parent by legal means, then you cannot interfere.  Since, however, she is 9yo, she does have the ability to occasionally find a phone and dial the police when she is being illegally treated (it is &lt;em&gt;imperative&lt;/em&gt; that this be properly defined for her in a way she comprehends).  She can also tell a school nurse or other official of any abuse since they (at least in the US) are obligated to report it to the authorities. Such action begins to force the hand of those who otherwise would not interfere, but it also opens the Pandora's Box of complication, so act thoughtfully in choosing which options to avail yourself of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If her experience(s) are not so catastrophic, then the question becomes how to help her cope with those persons who touch our lives in unconstructive manners.  For that question, there are a variety of answers which largely depend on her demeanor.  Given that she is fearing her upcoming visitation with the other parent and in the context of this paragraph, I take it that she has a soft, loving, sensitive demeanor.  In that case, I have found that letting her talk and explain her fears and then asking questions leading her to develop her own coping mechanisms is best... provided she knows that 24x7 -- and every microsecond inbetween -- she can reach out and you will be there... she needs a rock, a foundation, a safe place she can always retreat to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As life progressed and her mother mellowed, per se, my daughter would call me crying that she couldn't take it anymore and tell me all about things.  I would empathize, sympathize, and provide what wisdom I could (except where she was wrong, and then I would work to correct her thinking).  Her mother would frequently get on the phone afterward and accuse me of all manner of thing, wanting to know what I said.  She never believed that I almost always simply listened; that we all want to be heard and appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, no matter how we desire to bend space and time for our children, sometimes it is only space and/or time which can help them find the answer within themselves, very often with the words, ideas, or philosophies we have shared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope sharing my view and our experiences helps your family to find as peaceful a resolution as can be had... and, at the very least, the safest solution.&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;P.S. Nature has never found a substitute for a parent's arms giving you strength in your hardest times... they are the word unsaid, the love untold, and the comfort of our soul.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T04:34:36.940" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12075" CreationDate="2015-01-15T06:56:20.370" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've consulted our choice of shoes with an orthopedist. He explained to us that human feet were &quot;designed&quot; to be walked on soft surfaces like mud, grass, sand, etc. A child can safely walk bare-foot on such surfaces, and also on carpets or all sorts of soft surfaces one can imagine. Shoes are not needed in such cases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if your floor is hard - panels, wood, tiles - you should choose shoes for your child to walk at home, comfortable and large enough ones with soft (crepe?) soles. Choosing very thick socks (possibly with anti-slipping enancements;) would also serve the purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for walking outside - the same rule applies. Hard surfaces - wear shoes, soft ones - not necessarily. But take into consideration the safety of your little one, whether the place you'll we walking is clean, has no broken glass, etc. etc. Shoes also protect baby's feet from physical harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T06:56:20.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5596" CreationDate="2015-01-15T08:36:48.187" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3yr old also gets restless and cries in her sleep.  If she needs to go pee, it's hard to wake her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use to get mad, but I realize she's not doing this on a purpose or to be lazy. She wakes up and tells me &quot;I'm sorry, Mommy, I'm wet!&quot; So now I just say, &quot;It's OK. Next time try and wake up to pee,&quot; and I send her to change herself with a little help of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13220" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-15T10:54:38.283" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T10:54:38.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18302" CreationDate="2015-01-15T12:32:41.513" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does the current swimming teacher/coach get into the water with the children?  Finding one that does, especially with the youngsters makes a massive difference.  It allows the children to feel that someone is there with them if something does go wrong.  It is also useful to have someone push your back up, legs down or whatever to correct the swimming style rather than just shouting commands from the side.  If they are not in the water, try and ask for or find someone that does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13225" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T12:32:41.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18306" CreationDate="2015-01-15T13:23:19.517" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll comment on the sleep issue since the other issues seem to be addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do whatever it takes to get your child the calm and sleep she needs.  Focus on a very regular sleep ritual, comfort, teddy bear, flower essence, whatever, then &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;if necessary some sleep medication&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; (more on this later), then a song, a short story, and a goodnight kiss!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;talking about her problems with her, offering appropriate advice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;listening to her and validating how she feels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you doing this at bed-time?  Listening to her verbalize her worries right before sleep?  Validating negative feelings?  I'm not sure, but it seems that could be anxiety raising.  There are other ways to deal with her problems during the day, using play therapy, role playing with dolls, music therapy, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had severe trauma every day when I was 12.  I found great comfort in sleep.  I would think about how I was going to be able to be asleep and safe for hours and hours.  Sleep preparation was a time to forget about all worries.  It was a time to not-thing about the day or the next-day.  Mornings weren't so great, but sleep wasn't a problem.  It's all how one looks at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;making it OK to be awake, to avoid stressing about not sleeping (which was an issue before)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are rarely, if ever, naturally &quot;stressed&quot; about not-sleeping.  They tend to enjoy being up. Why would a child be stressed about not sleeping?  The only thing I can imagine is that the &lt;em&gt;parents&lt;/em&gt; got stressed about her not sleeping, and so the child became stressed.  The answer is not to make it &quot;OK to be awake&quot; (which would be counter-productive to establishing sleep), but rather, for the parents to be not-stressed if she's awake.  That doesn't mean it's &quot;OK to be awake&quot;.  She needs to be asleep.  With calm, non-stressed parents. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume when you say &quot;night rescue&quot; your referring to one of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://tinyurl.com/mzegf4d&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bach Flower Essences&lt;/a&gt;, which are mostly placebo in affecting physiology. I'm a strong believer in the value of ritual, placebo, and love in producing calm. But worrying about &quot;reliance&quot; seems misplaced.  There's nothing wrong with &quot;relying&quot; on love or a teddy bear or Bach Flower Essences or anything that gives your child comfort! Your child needs sleep. If a teddy bear solves that, then why not a teddy bear?  If a nice smelling flower essence solves that, then why not?  If she enjoyed story telling, would you withhold that for concern about her developing a reliance on that?  Of course not.  A more regular ritual is better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The value of any therapy used to address a problem is assessed in terms of benefit vs. harm and compare that with not using the therapy at all. I get the feeling that your concern about reliance on the Bach Flower Remedy (nice smelling brandy and water mixtures) means sleep meds are out of the question?  But the benefit of &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; sleep aid (incl. medication) may outweigh the psychological problems, stress, and related trauma this child is going through in what may be gyrations about his/her sleep. Given that you are (I assume) anti-medication, even if you did allow her some mild, Dr. approved medication (or Dr. approved strong herbal) to help her sleep, the chance of her becoming reliant on that long-term is about 0%.  Because you're the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm saying this sincerely as perhaps another perspective in order to try to help this child sleep and reduce this child's anxiety about the whole thing.  Put the child's need for sleep higher than your own fears and ideologies.  Compromise in his/her favor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not there. I'm giving armchair advice. I don't have to deal with all the nuances. I don't have the answers.  I'm only suggesting a perspective based on my intuition. I could be right. I could be wrong. You sound very caring and I'm sure you'll do your best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See a child health professional, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13224" LastEditorUserId="13224" LastEditDate="2015-01-16T00:03:08.177" LastActivityDate="2015-01-16T00:03:08.177" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18306" CreationDate="2015-01-15T14:48:45.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to suggest yoga and or meditation as well. The skills taught in these practices will help her cope not just with this stress but with any future stresses she comes across. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just in addition the the above answers. Seeing a professional is a great option as well, just as someone to talk to. Sometimes advice from an outside source feels more profound because we become desensitized to the people we are around constantly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a therapist can help her understand other peoples actions more than the yoga/meditation. She needs to understand that what her parents do is not a reflection on her or how they feel about her. As someone who came from an abusive household and was later adopted, I can tell you that this is very difficult to grasp as a child. Children naturally think &quot;&lt;strong&gt;What did I do&lt;/strong&gt; to make this happen,&quot; and &quot;&lt;strong&gt;How can I&lt;/strong&gt; fix this.&quot; When really, there is nothing that she can do to change her mothers behavior, nothing,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally wouldn't go to sleep medication, which is highly dependency forming (read: addictive), until all other avenues are exhausted. Medication will just cover up the symptoms but wont help the real problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than thinking of it as &quot;solve this immediate issue&quot; think of the problem as &quot;how to provide her with stress management skills that will last a lifetime.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2015-01-15T14:56:54.853" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T14:56:54.853" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18046" CreationDate="2015-01-15T16:49:30.360" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're feeding him &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; his nap.  Try feeding him something right &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; his nap, too.  My daughter has always been somewhat sensitive to what she eats and would be cranky from the moment she woke up until she had eaten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming it is a low blood sugar thing, what he eats will have a tremendous impact as high-glycemic foods cause insulin to spike which then removes all the blood sugar to store it as fat while sleeping.  A small meal (before, after, or both) of low-glycemic carbs (like whole fruit) and some protein (like meat) worked wonders for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Barry Sears' book &quot;The Zone&quot; has an excellent description of how all this works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T16:49:30.360" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18302" CreationDate="2015-01-15T17:26:57.760" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone who has taught thousands of kids, worked management level at a pool with a massive swimming lesson program and spent literally thousands of hours in the pool I'm gonna jump in on this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First things first: While the pool may have many instructors, it is very very difficult for them to actually change the instructor of a particular class. Not to mention the lesson coordinators will HATE this idea. Instructors build trust with the class from the first moment of the first lesson in a session. So asking them to switch an instructor could very well be detrimental to 8-10 other kids even if its a benefit for yours. Not to mention that often parents will request specific instructors if they have had older kids come through the program or know a teacher they have already had teaches a higher level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing you can do if you notice that your kid is not responding to a particular instructor is to, as soon as possible, bring it up nicely with the coordinator and ask for your child to be switched (the actual instructors in the pool have no ability to change things and distracting them will put you on the coordinator's bad side very quickly). Do this during your kids lesson so they can observe your child specifically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second: If it's already past the time in the session you can do the above (i.e. past the first or second lesson), then consider moving your kid down to level 1. You say that you don't like this solution but it's really not as bad as you think. Most instructors teach either the upper levels or lower levels depending on how they do with age groups and the instructors skill level with swimming. However all instructors that are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/program-highlights/swimming&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;certified Water Safety Instructors&lt;/a&gt; are taught to teach all levels. And while a teacher does spend time with the group, a good one should be spending some one on one time with each child. Often an instructor will notice a kid is slightly above level on their own, but the coordinator can always tell them your child is coming from a higher level class. In these situations the instructor can do extra with your child during one on one time. As a side note for your kid personally, unless your talking about pre-school levels, I as an instructor/coordinator would hardly ever feel comfortable having a 4 year old in a level 3 class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also like to mention for everyone out there: Often teachers are 16 or 17 years old and feel terrible if they don't pass all the kids in their class. However just because your kid passed a specific level does not mean that they are proficient at all the skills taught at a particular level. Every instructor has seen their coordinator or another instructor yelled at cause a kid wasn't passed. Think about when you were 16, would you have felt comfortable failing a kid if you thought it would get you yelled at by a random adult?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally: Are your lessons split into summer/winter sessions or have you been in lessons for the last 6 or 7 months straight? The answer makes a huge difference. If it is split and this is the first active swimming your kid has done since the last session, your kid would almost definitely benefit from repeating level 1. In fact if this is the case your kid is probably terrified of the water depths and skills being taught in level 2 and not the instructor at all. If you expect your child to go smoothly from level to level with a split session set up then it is CRITICAL that you observe their class, and in the months in-between sessions you get in with your kid OFTEN and practice those skills. If you don't then you should have 0 expectation of your kid being prepared for the next level up each session even if they did pass their last class. And your doing your kid, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;others&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; kids and the instructor a huge disservice by moving your child up to the next level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very best thing you can do for your kid at the end of each session (besides practicing with them!) is to talk to the instructor, show them your nice, and your not going to yell at them, and then ask for their honest opinion. This will be much more informative then a pass/fail card. Do this twice during a session, half way through and at the end. Again, only do it when they are not in the water, and don't keep them from their next class!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10004" LastEditorUserId="10004" LastEditDate="2015-01-15T23:23:19.047" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T23:23:19.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18318" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18320" CreationDate="2015-01-15T17:42:05.737" Score="10" ViewCount="630" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a child I enjoyed my mom's bedtime stories so much, and even now I can still remember some of them. Now it's my turn to pass such a wonderful experience down to my daughter. However I am having a hard time looking for quality bedtime stories and every night I have to spend almost half of an hour googling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much time do you spend a day on bedtime stories? Can you recommend any place that I can find good materials?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13227" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-15T18:05:46.980" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T16:21:32.593" Title="Preparing quality bedtime stories" Tags="|sleep|bedtime|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18318" CreationDate="2015-01-15T18:42:22.160" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always asked my dad for &lt;strong&gt;stories from when he was younger.&lt;/strong&gt; He had the most fantastic stories about his experiences in the Navy. He's not very imaginative so I (still!) believe they're reasonably true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He probably didn't spend more than 10 minutes per evening, often followed by a little discussion about some detail or other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you can dig up some of your best bar brag stories and use those as a basis?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I firmly believe that &lt;strong&gt;kids love repetition,&lt;/strong&gt; so don't strain yourself trying do dig up new material all the time. Find a small handful of stories she likes and every evening, give her the choice which one to tell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also watch some short movies (5-10 minutes) right before bedtime. There's a Pixar short called &quot;La Luna&quot; that I like to recite from memory. Sometimes, if I want participation from my kiddo, I leave out some bit, or I ask what that next bit was going to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2015-01-15T18:47:39.463" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T18:47:39.463" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18318" CreationDate="2015-01-15T20:13:06.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you don't provide an age, there are a few different guidelines based on age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For children under about eight or nine months, stories primarily serve the purpose of hearing the parent's voice, as a soothing influence and helping to develop language.  Therefore, any story will do.  Books primarily should be high contrast, black and white in particular or very bright colors with few variations (ie, an entirely green turtle, not one with various lines of different colors that is more realistic).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Between nine months and two years or so, they often enjoy books with pictures (in particular, photographs) that they can identify.  Books with lots of pictures of trains or trucks if they're a transportation kid, animals if that's their thing, etc.; ABC, color, or number books; or &quot;Baby's First Word&quot; books are all good here.  Stories in terms of plotted stories won't be very effective, because they won't understand the concept of plot or know why they should listen, and they don't necessarily want to go in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After about two and a half years, varying based on the child, you can start having plot-intensive stories.  Fairy tales, Curious George or Clifford or other characters, Dr Seuss, etc. are all fair game.  They'll like to listen to the story, and begin to be able to discuss some of the elements of the story.  Some children will even begin to role-play around 3 based on the stories; my three year old likes to make up stories of his own, where he's a main character alongside Curious George or similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they hit the age that 'plot' stories make sense, and you manage to find out what they enjoy (by trial and error, most likely), I like the idea of taking formulaic stories that they enjoy book versions of, and make up your own versions.  This doesn't require any preparation other than knowing what the formula is from having read quite a few.  My son likes Curious George; for that, the formula is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;This is George.  He was a good little monkey, and always very curious.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;George is [somewhere] - establish the location&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;George is doing [something] or going [somewhere else]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;George is curious about [something] and does [something]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This leads to trouble&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;George is sorry he got in trouble&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;George manages to get out of trouble&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The trouble turns out to have been for the better because of [some reason]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;George is happy, the end&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can make that up that 'on the go' pretty easily, even if you're not creative (I am absolutely not!).  Several of the other book series work similarly, as well as Aesop's Fables and some of Grimm's fairy tales: there is a fairly simple formula that anyone can follow, just filling in the details around the formula.  The nice thing is that kids don't care too much about the actual quality of writing - so just make it customized to the kid, and you're all square.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, one story I'd tell my son (let's call him R) goes something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This is George and R.  They were good little guys, and always very&#xA;  curious.  One day, George and R were going to the store.  The Man with&#xA;  the Yellow Hat came by to pick R up, and he was very happy to get in&#xA;  the blue car and go.  They drove up to the store, and R and George got&#xA;  out.  After they went in the store, they got a shopping cart, and R&#xA;  got in.  George pushed R around in the cart for a while, then they&#xA;  traded places.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The Man with the Yellow Hat needed Sugar, Baking Powder, Chocolate&#xA;  Chips, and flour, to bake the cookies they wanted to bake.  While they&#xA;  went past the cookie aisle, George saw something he liked, and ran&#xA;  off.  R followed him, and said &quot;No George, don't run away!&quot;  George&#xA;  stopped, and saw a little boy crying in the aisle.  R couldn't find&#xA;  the Man with the Yellow Hat, so he found a worker at the store, and&#xA;  told him the boy was missing his mommy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The worker paged the boy's mommy over the intercom, and his mommy came&#xA;  by a little later, and everyone was happy.  The Man with the Yellow&#xA;  Hat also came, and told George that he shouldn't run off, but that he&#xA;  was happy George and R knew what to do to help the little boy.  They&#xA;  went to the checkout and bought the ingredients, then went home and&#xA;  baked cookies together.  R got to eat the first one out of the oven,&#xA;  and it was very yummy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wrote that in about 3 minutes, and largely copied off of a similar story I read frequently (George goes to the Baseball Game, or something titled like that).  It has elements of my son in it - he likes to run down aisles, like every kid - and elements I like to teach him (asking a store worker if he's lost).  It also has a lot of 'hooks' for him to interject details - for example, he can provide the details of the shopping list, and what they're making at home, or the store's name, or what aisle George ran down.  It's also a terrible story from an adult perspective, but it's loads of fun for a three year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's nice about doing it this way is not only that you have a story wherever you want, and you involve the child; but also that it encourages the child to make up his/her own  stories (both by involving him/her in the process, and by modeling the process).  I found that more and more of the story would be made up by my son in this process as we went along - starting by just adding a few hooks for him to add, but as we went on he'd insist on more and more details, and as long as I didn't resist too much it worked well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adding a bit for older kids, there are formulas you can use even for quite complex stories.  If your kids like Tolkien, there is a common Tolkien-ish formula.  Here's my approximation of it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unassuming hero learns he is the key to saving the world from something&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hero finds a group of friends, each of which adds a different element to help him along&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hero and friends must take a long journey to [find|destroy] something which will [prevent|enable] the bad guy from [destroying|conquering] the world&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bad guy sends various enemies at the hero's party&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Relatively early on the mentor either dies or is removed from action, forcing the hero to grow up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hero makes mistakes, which cause a visible change in the hero and showing he is growing up/becoming less naive&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Major battle occurs, forcing the hero to go it alone (or almost-alone) for the final part&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hero accomplishes the goal, but not seeing his life change &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could watch Star Wars, read (or watch!) Lord of the Rings, or read countless fantasy books and see this same formula used over and over again.  Some stick more closely to it - see Terry Brooks or David Eddings, both of whom unabashedly stick to it fairly tightly - perhaps the closest of which is Star Wars itself.  I am not going to replicate this here due to space and time constraints (and I'm pretty terrible as an author), but it's not all that hard to replicate - and in fact, many D&amp;amp;D games that are more on the storytelling side end up replicating this (often intentionally).  By 8 or 10 you could easily do something like this with your children, and involve them (perhaps with some roleplaying aspects, perhaps not) and have a lot of fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also other formulas; famously, most romance novels published by Silhouette or Harlequin are explicitly formulaic (they are expected to follow certain formulas).  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_fiction&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt; for some details and examples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-01-20T16:21:32.593" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T16:21:32.593" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18287" CreationDate="2015-01-15T21:10:44.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He tries to sit or stand up and I put him down gently but firmly and say &quot;no, goodnight.&quot; and he grins and giggles. That goes on for about an hour then he starts finally giving up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're doing this consistently (putting him back down) for an hour, he probably finds it an entertaining and rewarding game.  Have you tried just ignoring him when he stands back up?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also --the level of light in the room may also make a difference.  Many children (and adults) need to be in a dark room for an extended period of time before they start to feel sleepy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T21:10:44.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18318" CreationDate="2015-01-15T21:19:32.493" Score="3" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Retell those of your mother's stories that you can remember (if&#xA;she's still around, ask her if she can write down any of them for&#xA;you).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the library or a good used book store and try to find&#xA;some favorite books you personally enjoyed as a child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make up your own stories -- they don't have to be perfect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a collection of fairy tales or folk tales --these have enchanted&#xA;children for hundreds of years.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;True life stories --your own life, or family history.  Research has shown that stories like this are very good for children psychologically, even when the stories are not happy ones, because they provide some context for their own experiences.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T21:19:32.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18323" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-15T21:30:55.053" Score="5" ViewCount="51668" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just found out yesterday I am 4 weeks pregnant, I am a regular weed smoker I usually smoke once a day at night right before bed just a couple hits out of my pipe so I basically smoked every night for the first 4 weeks of my pregnancy because I did not know. I'm just wondering how much it would have hurt the fetus? I'm really freaking out.. I feel so guilty. Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13230" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2015-01-18T18:51:22.310" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T11:43:42.240" Title="Consequences of smoking marijuana during pregnancy (especially first weeks)?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|drugs|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-01-18T18:27:26.487" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18323" CreationDate="2015-01-15T21:46:06.540" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Quit freaking out. That's the first thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People get pregnant, they have kids. This is normal. It may not be normal for you, but, it is, in general, a fact of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, you can do it. The challenge is to be the best mother you can be, and that means starting now to make choices that are good choices for both you, and the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you start making choices that are positive, the freaking out will diminish, and the control will return. So, make a good decision, and a good candidate for a good decision, is to visit your doctor, speak to your close family, or friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, it's all just a sequence of making informed, controlled, and planned decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, there will be more occasions to freak out in the future... but action and good decisions are what cure that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11450" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T21:46:06.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18318" CreationDate="2015-01-15T21:56:43.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids are 10, 4, and 2.5 and we read or tell stories for about 15-20 minutes a night with the younger two. My ten year old prefers to read to himself now, but he got the same amount of time when he was younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids typically want to be read to because they like to look at pictures in books, but sometimes if it's late I will do a story so we can turn the lights out. Our stories are always recollections that we talk about together. So, it's actually less story telling and more conversation, but that's only because my kids can't help but take an opportunity to correct me if they think I'm not remembering clearly. For instance, I will talk about the time my 4YO and I went to &quot;the little waterfall&quot; as if I'm telling the 2.5YO about it and his brother isn't there. I will pause and let my 4YO finish a thought, or I'll say something silly like &quot;and there was a purple frog on the rock&quot; and let him correct me. Sometimes he'll go along with it.  The point is that it usually starts out a true story they both or at least one of them knows and then we change it. All my kids enjoy this and it's very easy to do. You already have memories and experiences, you just have to get a little creative with it. Little kids like to know how the story goes (for this reason they ask you to read the same book a hundred million times till it gets &quot;lost&quot; because you can't take it anymore), but they also like to go off on a tangent too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other option you could try is poetry. I have about ten or eleven poems memorized that my kids like. They are ones I liked as a child, which is why I know them. Some are kid poems, some aren't. Either way, they have either a pleasant cadence, an interesting word or phrase, or an easy rhyme. Lewis Carroll, Shel Silverstein, and Edward Lear are a few of my favorites. Poetry is pretty easy to memorize, in my opinion, and easy to have fun with. You can swap out a different word that rhymes (or when your child is old enough, ask her to do think if a word), and you can play with the tempo and use voices to mix things up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is, more or less, the best place to find materials is right in your own head, in your own life. It shouldn't be like work, or else it'll be as interesting as a PowerPoint presentation at work. Just have fun! It does take practice, but you'll get the hang of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T21:56:43.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18323" CreationDate="2015-01-15T22:46:29.443" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, congrats :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go to the doctor and be honest! My wife and I did the same thing during her first pregnancy. Our daughter, now 5, is as bright and cheery and happy and healthy as any other kid in her class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additional stress isn't good for either your or your baby. So calm down first. Only then can you make rational adult decisions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just make sure you stop smoking now. The longer you continue to put weed in your system, the more damaging it becomes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T22:46:29.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18328" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18330" CreationDate="2015-01-15T23:02:13.587" Score="6" ViewCount="777" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 16-month-od boy. He loves climbing up on anything that's higher than the floor. He gradually climbs up chairs and uses them to climb on the dinner desk. I tried to remove the chairs from the kitchen, but he drags the chairs out again for climbing up. He even tries to climb the corners of taller furniture while staying on his feet. I think it is dangerous, especially when he is playing on the corner of the desk or furniture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I teach him to be careful about falling?    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13234" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2019-03-10T13:03:42.587" LastActivityDate="2019-03-10T13:03:42.587" Title="How can I prevent my 16-month-old from climbing up to desk?" Tags="|toddler|safety|teaching|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18328" CreationDate="2015-01-15T23:33:05.267" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, there are a couple of options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Redirection&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any time you see him begin to climb where he shouldn't be, point him toward something more constructive. &quot;No, don't climb on chairs, they wobble&quot; And show him that they aren't stable. Maybe have him climb on the couch instead of a chair or table (where there's at least a cushion.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This one may get me down-voted, but it worked for me (and my kids). &lt;strong&gt;Let him fall.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm the kind of guy who has to learn lessons the hard way. And sometimes my daughter has to learn the hard way too. I've tried to tell her that she can hurt herself by jumping on the couch or bed. She broke her elbow by landing funny on the bed. And she almost broke the couch by jumping and playing around on the arm of it. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that you should watch him climb up onto something, say nothing, and watch him fall and hurt himself. Take every moment as a parenting moment. Protect and teach your children at every opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-01-15T23:33:05.267" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18328" CreationDate="2015-01-16T02:06:49.650" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is a little bit older, but he's been a climber before he could walk. We deal with this almost daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I looked for some methods online, myself, back when his climbing first started. We tried several things, some of them were &quot;common sense&quot; attempts, and some were suggestions from parenting sites or forums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Here's what's worked:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Going to him and physically &lt;strong&gt;putting him back on the floor&lt;/strong&gt; any time he tries to climb&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Distraction&lt;/strong&gt;/redirection&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Counting&quot; his climbing. If we get to 3 he gets a &lt;strong&gt;timeout&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Asking him&lt;/strong&gt; not to climb (this has only worked since he's gotten older and understands the language)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Putting up a playpen&lt;/strong&gt; fence around the things he liked to climb on&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Letting him climb&lt;/strong&gt; with direct supervision and on a limited number of items. He learned that some things are okay to climb on, but others (like desk and table tops) are not. Now, he's very adept at getting up into chairs/seats on his own, which affords him some independence which I believe he enjoys.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Here's what hasn't worked:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Letting him fall&lt;/strong&gt;. Our son does not learn to stop a behavior completely because of an accident. Instead, he learns that he has to &lt;em&gt;try harder&lt;/em&gt; and maybe next time he won't get hurt. While this is an admirable trait when your children are older (get back on the horse, as they say), it's frustrating when they're smaller. He still does stuff where he might fall/jam his fingers/pull heavy things onto his head or feet/knock things over. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Removing climbable objects&lt;/strong&gt;. Like your son, he'd find or drag in other things to climb on, and so we, the parents, were more inconvenienced by not having our normal furniture in the room than we were by getting up every X minutes to put him back on the floor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll add that just because the first methods worked for us (to varying degrees), doesn't mean they're guaranteed to work for you. Likewise, &lt;strong&gt;just because some methods didn't work for us, doesn't mean they won't work for you&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, others here have already indicated that the method(s) that didn't work for my family &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; work for theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-01-16T16:16:30.173" LastActivityDate="2015-01-16T16:16:30.173" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18318" CreationDate="2015-01-16T12:59:29.457" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mother would read books to me.  A good book would solve your problem in that you wouldn't need to spend a lot of time each day/week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can probably find great deals on some good books via Craigslist or garage sales.  There's plenty of &quot;top books for children&quot; lists.  The following is a google search to get you started.  Go with some all time favs and you can't go wrong...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=top+books+for+children&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.google.com/search?q=top+books+for+children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13224" LastActivityDate="2015-01-16T12:59:29.457" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18306" CreationDate="2015-01-16T14:38:32.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried meditation?  It might be good for all of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to consider meditation just a &quot;hippy&quot; thing, but there is a growing body of scientific evidence supporting its beneficial effects.  Some of that, as well as the limits of the research so far, can be found &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Research_on_meditation&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not really a forum for &quot;how&quot; but here are some basics:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find a quite space&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sit in a comfortable position. As a beginner, don't worry about the &quot;lotus&quot; position or anything like that.  I prefer a chair or sofa that has a little back support.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Close your eyes&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Concentrate on your breathing. In. Out.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As thoughts come into your head, just acknowledge that they are just thoughts and let them go.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you catch yourself stuck on a thought, don't beat yourself up, just go back to focusing on your breathing&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start with a short time period, like 5 minutes and work your way up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can either set a timer or put on some instrumental music that lasts that long.  (I typically just go on youtube and search for &quot;X minute meditation music&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastEditorUserId="388" LastEditDate="2015-01-16T17:02:01.350" LastActivityDate="2015-01-16T17:02:01.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18323" CreationDate="2015-01-16T20:51:42.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the more recent studies of &lt;a href=&quot;http://emboj.embopress.org/content/early/2014/01/27/embj.201386035&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;fetal development in mothers using marijuana&lt;/a&gt; does suggest that it not only affects fetal growth and brain development in the short term, but may cause changes in the brain that last a lifetime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Comparing it to fetal alcohol syndrome, though, shows that it is significantly less severe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthline.com/health-news/children-cannabis-impairs-fetal-brain-development-012814&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; summarizing the results provides the following information:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children whose mothers use marijuana during pregnancy have a higher risk of stunted growth and of developing ADHD, anxiety, and depression later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Growing a baby from a single cell is an astonishingly complex task. As the fetal brain develops, each cell must grow, migrate to the correct place, form into the correct shape, and successfully make as many as 10,000 connections with other cells. To reach other cells, each nerve cell grows a long, thin stalk called an axon, the end of which fans out to form many links.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This process requires a carefully-timed, intricate cascade of chemical signals. And it turns out that endocannabinoid, a signaling chemical in the body that THC mimics, is one of these. When THC enters the body, it interferes with endocannabinoid’s actions, competing with it for binding sites on target cells and generally getting its way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Harkany gathered human fetuses that had been donated to science and tested them to see if they had been exposed to THC. The THC-exposed fetuses had lower body weights and smaller foot length. When he looked inside their brains, he found reduced levels of stathmin-2, a protein involved in learning and memory formation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The take-home message, Harkany feels, is clear. “Cannabis should be avoided during pregnancy. And, if there is a medical indication for the mother then careful cost/benefit analysis should be conducted by medical professionals,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;I appreciate the use of medical cannabis, but it should certainly be analyzed whether maternal benefits outweigh potential risk for the baby.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately there's little data that would be able to provide insight into how much damage your drug use may have caused, but given that you've stopped, and given other's experiences, chances are good you will have a happy, healthy baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-01-16T20:51:42.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18323" CreationDate="2015-01-17T12:32:13.063" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to &quot;go to the doctor&quot;, instead of just stopping the use of marijuana, ask the doctor whether stopping abruptly might be damaging, and if so, what is the best way to stop the use slowly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm quite sure that abruptly stopping cigarette smoking is not recommended because it upsets your body which affects the child, so I would think that marijuana might be the same - but your doctor should know. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastActivityDate="2015-01-17T12:32:13.063" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18323" CreationDate="2015-01-17T15:02:04.880" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing to consider is that &lt;em&gt;usually&lt;/em&gt; &quot;4 weeks pregnant&quot; counts two weeks before you actually ovulated. The next five days (well, possibly more, depending on when you ovulated, but average is 5 - 6), the fertilized egg (now called a zygote) will travel from the Fallopian tube down to the uterus, where the now multicellular blastocyst will attach itself to the lining of your uterus and will get nourishment from the blood built up there. So, really, there may have been some amount of THC in that blood-rich lining, but it's not exactly like the baby's blood supply was directly linked to yours until approximately the 17th day following conception, when both fetal and maternal blood vessels are functioning, and true placental circulation is established.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if you were told you were 4 weeks pregnant (though I don't know how you determined that), remember that usually pregnancy is measured by the first day of the last period, thus giving you two &quot;empty&quot; weeks, and from there, it takes about 17 days to start truly exchanging blood drugs with the fetus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the day of fertilization, the beginnings of the brain start to form on day 22, so about a week after you first miss your period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please take this into consideration when you consider the effect of smoking a &quot;couple of hits&quot; from your pipe every night. And please consider that this very thing has probably happened to hundreds of thousands of women over the past four and a half decades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Week_4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Embryology Week 4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-19T11:43:42.240" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T11:43:42.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18341" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-17T21:31:03.007" Score="6" ViewCount="3579" Body="&lt;p&gt;I need some advice on how to motivate my 8 year old daughter to pay attention more at school and achieve higher grades.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She seems to have a short attention span and seems more interested in break times with her friends than the lessons themselves.  Her teachers are always complaining she doesn't listen and doesn't pay attention enough therefore she is not learning as much as the others in her class.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She does however focus all her attentions on her friends, one in particular and has become obsessed with this girl and wants to spend all her time with her and this is also causing problems with her friendships in class as she doesn't seem to want to share this girl's attention. She has become very bossy and quite mouthy with the rest of her class and is proving very unpopular just now.  This is upsetting her as she doesn't get picked for teams or groups.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both her teachers and myself have tried to talk to her about focusing more on her lessons and I have tried motivation rewards for better grades but they haven't improved. I have tried to get her involved in hobbies also but again her attention span and interest is short and she doesn't seem to stick at anything in particular.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have asked all sorts of questions regarding behaviour problem syndromes to professionals who seem to dismiss this and say she is just very strong willed and maybe has an obsessive personality but so far have offered no help in combating or improving this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas to help with improving her school grades would be really appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13252" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-18T00:43:04.833" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T10:02:32.423" Title="How to help an 8 year old with short attention span and obsessive character?" Tags="|behavior|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18341" CreationDate="2015-01-18T16:47:45.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I have asked all sorts of questions regarding behaviour problem syndromes to professionals who seem to dismiss this and say she is just very strong willed and maybe has an obsessive personality but so far have offered no help in combating or improving this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what country you live in, but you should be getting more support from professionals you have asked than you appear to have been getting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will be honest: my first reaction when I read this was, &lt;em&gt;&quot;She's in fourth grade!&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;I don't place a whole lot of weight on scholastic achievement in the very lower grades, but if you do, the single most important thing you can do with her is to help her with aaaaallll her homework. Each of her teachers should send her assignment (or post them to the school website) so that you know every night everything she's supposed to do, then sit down with her every night until it's all done, the reading, the problems, the everything. And I know how much I'm asking of you. It's nothing I didn't do with those of mine who needed it. The chilf who needed it the most is now in medical school (he got in himself, I didn't involve myself in his college) ans is at the top 20% of his class, so it worked for us!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The laissez-faire parents will no doubt say, &quot;how will she learn from her mistakes if you hold her hand?&quot; Well, some children need hand holding if they are going down a path that bodes badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for her other interests: she's 8. When my son was 8 (the same one, btw) he had only one friend. We instituted a new rule that he had to play with two other people every time he played with person A before he could play with A again. Well, it took time, and he had to be nice to the others so he could continue playing with all of them, and in the long run, he was more socially well developed than he might have been otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will think I was a helicopter parent. I wasn't. This kid was floundering, and I wasn't going to let that happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OCD happens in kids. It often occurs co-morbidly with other 'D's - ADHD, ODD, and other problems. If none of your &quot;professionals&quot; had offered to test her for OCD and ADHD, then get a referral and go from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not helpless and you're not alone. You can make a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best wishes for your success and that of your daughter's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-18T16:47:45.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18272" CreationDate="2015-01-18T19:46:54.857" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;All my kids had the phase when they became mobile enough to wreak havoc in the apartment, but weren't sophisticated enough to not to do things they were told to not to do. In my experience it will help if you see this phase as the one where your child learns to (not to) do what you told it to (not to) do. You invest the necessary energy to help your child to pass that phase, and it comes out having learned something truly important which will help you to get through the next 15 years. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the dominating features of my apartment is a huge bookshelf in the living room. Of course, that's always been of special interest whenever one of my children came into &quot;that phase&quot;. What we did was to clear &lt;em&gt;one section&lt;/em&gt; in the bottom shelf and put in some of the child's toys and books. Then, whenever the child went to get at the books, we took it and put it in front of &quot;its own shelf&quot;, saying &quot;No, you must not play with our books, but here is your shelf, and you can play with everything in there.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For all my kids, this phase lasted about two weeks, then they had learned to not to touch our books and limit themselves to their own shelf. Well, that is: all of them, except for one child. That one didn't need two weeks, but eight. Eight &lt;em&gt;Months.&lt;/em&gt; The boy nearly drove us mad, but in the end he, too, learned it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, almost two decades after my oldest was born, I have lost only a single book from that shelf. (Guess to which child...) So it seems the procedure wasn't all that bad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did the same elsewhere in the apartment, BTW. Most of my children loved, at one point, to empty out the part of our cupboard where the pots are kept in, and stack them back in. Of course, they would also be delighted about emptying out anything else in the cupboard, but whenever the child would approach anything else, we'd put it back to the one cupboard door we had cleared of everything that could break, telling it that it could play with everything behind this door, but none of the others. That worked pretty much the same way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-10-12T18:10:05.527" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T18:10:05.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18347" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-19T01:41:17.303" Score="4" ViewCount="1938" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 week old newborn likes the sound of background noise (eg. white noise, radio, TV) to get to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also want to give my child the best chance to learn a foreign language when they are older. Unfortunately I don't know any foreign languages so I can't personally teach her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was thinking that since the baby likes background noise, when she's asleep, I was thinking putting on some radio or recordings of people talking to lots of different languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously I'm not going to expect that she'll be able to speak that language, but I was thinking that by exposing her to lots of languages, she can get used to the sounds and when she's old enough to learn a language, it may be easier for her to pick up the language if she chooses to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a language in mind - which is why I want to expose her to the most popular ones (eg. Mandarin, Spanish, French)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this likely to &#xA;1) help her with learning a foreign language &#xA;2) not have any effect whatsoever&#xA;3) be detrimental (somehow?) to the child's language development&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotal evidence is fine, but any reference to actual studies would be great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13264" LastActivityDate="2018-04-23T12:50:38.593" Title="Can newborns get used to the sounds of a language in the background?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18348" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-19T05:51:27.667" Score="1" ViewCount="1508" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old daughter has all of a sudden changed her accent drastically to one that is awful. The pronunciation is totally incorrect and its freaking me out. The more I correct the worse it becomes. Should I take her for speech and drama classes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13266" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-01-19T06:13:47.910" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T23:23:57.097" Title="My 4 year old daughter has suddenly changed her speech" Tags="|pre-schooler|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18349" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-19T10:40:23.687" Score="8" ViewCount="34020" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's becoming more frequent that my 18 month old daughter has started refusing the dinner we give her without trying it. Our best guess at why, is because it contains green things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We always check the food and it is damn tasty, and she does like it if she tries it, but obviously explaining this to an 18 month old is difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know she is hungry, because in the past we have given her a replacement of something like toast and she'll gobble that down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to handle this? We don't want her to think that she can always swap her healthy dinner for toast, so the method we have currently been using is, if after 15 minutes she is still not eating, we'll get her down and say something like &quot;You haven't eaten your dinner, you must not be hungry&quot;. If, later she decides she does want the food, we'll put here back on her chair and let her eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a good way to handle it? Would there be a better method? We don't want her to grow up having &quot;food issues&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4229" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T21:25:51.330" Title="What to do when 18 month old doesn't want her dinner?" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18349" CreationDate="2015-01-19T12:20:40.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We approach it roughly the same with our 3 year old. She doesn't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to eat, but she must remain at the table until everyone is done eating.  This of course goes both ways; we will stay seated if she's the last one still eating or the only one who wants desert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't eat while at the table, we just put the plate away in the cupboard and leave it there. If she gets hungry later in the evening, she can get the plate back, but she doesn't get anything else to eat unless she's at least actually tried it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does occasionally cause her to not eat anything the entire evening and be hungry in the morning, but that's &quot;your own problem&quot; in this case, it's her choice not to eat anything and she will get regular breakfast in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether or not she'll have &quot;food issues&quot; from it I cannot tell, but I do know that most of the people I talked to had some sorts of food issues while growing up, inclusing myself my girlfriend, so I'm not sure whether it's even possible to entirely avoid it. People will grow over it eventually, I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T12:20:40.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18347" CreationDate="2015-01-19T17:24:05.423" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you'd need to split up the question a little further. Most of my answers rely on Lise Eliot's book &lt;em&gt;What's Going on in There&lt;/em&gt;, which I unfortunately returned to the library on Friday, so I'm only able to paraphrase the few things I remembered or made notes of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Will she be able to learn to speak another language?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you already expect, no, she won't. Babies won't pick up any language if they aren't directly spoken to, if they cannot relate to what is talked about (p.386).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Will listening to other languages on the radio or tv help her with languages in a more general sense?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possibly. Eliot mentions somewhere in the book that babies are able to distinguish a wide array of sounds, but that, as time goes by (by or starting around 6 months), they loose the ability to distinguish those sounds that don't appear in the language(s) they are hearing. One example she gives is that Japanese babies are able to distinguish the English letter R from other sounds in a way that many Japanese adults cannot as that sound doesn't exist in Japanese. However, this ability will be lost when the baby figures out that it won't need those sounds, so even if you exposed your baby to any specific language for the next two years, and she'd then start to learn that language a few years later, she will likely have lost the ability to distinguish the sounds of that language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, for a baby, listening to foreign languages in the background may not be any different than hearing white noise - it's quite possible that they will need to be able to relate to what is spoken not only to grasp the meaning but also to understand that the sounds are part of a spoken language. I'm not sure if you'll find a lot of information regarding this aspect, as most research is geared towards actually learning to speak a language, and not building up an acquaintance with the language's sounds without acquiring active language speaking skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally, listening to the radio (even though I didn't understand a single word in the beginning) actually helped me quite a lot when I learned a new language in my twenties - but I was 25, followed lessons in that language, and I was awake and consciously listening, which are very different circumstances from what you are envisioning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Will listening to the radio or tv while sleeping have any effect?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt it. If it had, listening to maths and physics lectures would pretty much be part of most people's sleeping habits, I guess. On the contrary, being exposed to constant noise, especially if it's as agitated as many tv or radio shows are, might actually be quite disruptive to your baby's sleep. I'm not sure if monotonous white noise is less disruptive or maybe even not disruptive at all (if quiet enough), I'd be interested if there are any studies regarding this aspect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eliot argues strongly for engaging your baby in conversation - talk a lot to them, both in terms of quality as well as quantity, listen to them, use age-appropiate language, speak clearly, make language learning fun, read to them, etc, and continue doing so throughout their whole childhood and youth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a strong foundation in one's own mother tongue is beneficial to learning other languages, so if I were you, I would actually focus on that. Also, if you really want to help her learn a foreign language, start learning one yourself - not because you can then conversate with her in that language later on, but because there's nothing so motivating like a parent who demonstrates that learning foreign languages is a fun and natural thing to do!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastEditorUserId="7088" LastEditDate="2015-01-19T17:37:57.383" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T17:37:57.383" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18349" CreationDate="2015-01-19T17:29:04.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids have various food things as they get older and their tastebuds develop and their friends tell them that their favourite food is disgusting at which point they'll claim they don't like it etc etc. It's just important not to be controlling or make it a &quot;thing&quot; or a battle, but like you are doing &quot;You can choose not to eat it but there won't be anything else&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't allow ours to get back to the table once dinner is over so if they are hungry then they are hungry. This works well, and I have a few friends with kids older than mine who've done this and it's worked very well, as it's the child's choice. You're not implementing any form of punishment, just creating clear boundaries and then their choices determine how hungry they are in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you're doing well. It will change, just stick to your guns and don't let it be battle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T17:29:04.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18353" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-19T18:02:50.793" Score="5" ViewCount="4344" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's father and I were together until my son was 6.5. We broke up because I found out he had been abusing heroin and stealing thousands of dollars in cash and items from my mother, his friends, myself, and my son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He continued taking advantage of my niceness after we broke up by talking me into driving him places (that of course he never told me where I was really taking him with our son in the back seat, and more often than not they were places that were too dangerous for us to be involved with) and &quot;loaning&quot; him money, because he knew I would do it for my son's sake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He did drugs around my son many times (not in front of him), left us sitting in a scary motel room for 4 hours while he took my car to go get drugs (he of course lied to me and said he was just running to the gas station), he took my son with him to get drugs while I let them hang out, and he tried to use my son to get sympathy from people so they would give him money. Over the last 4 years he has been in jail way more than he's been out, and I know he relapsed at least twice since he originally &quot;quit&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So many times I drove my son to places to meet with his dad so they could go hang out, and so many of those times he would either not show up, or he would get there and use the time to try to get something out of me, whatever it was he made it obvious that he wasn't there to hang with our kid. I tried for so long for them to have a good relationship. So many times my child would cry in the backseat of my car as we would turn around and drive back home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He got out of jail the last time at the beginning of December. He asked to speak to our son, and my kid said he didn't want to speak to him. Of course my ex immediately blamed me, saying I put him up to it or that I was lying. Now he keeps pestering me to talk to our son and get him to speak to him, and that he's his dad so my son &quot;has to talk to him&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, should I force my son to speak to someone who has repeatedly let him down? I don't want to make the wrong choice here, my son has already been through so much, I don't want to do him anymore disservice. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13268" LastEditorUserId="9826" LastEditDate="2015-01-19T21:21:29.683" LastActivityDate="2018-04-25T13:49:02.063" Title="Do I force my son to speak to his semi-absent parent?" Tags="|development|parents|separation|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18353" CreationDate="2015-01-19T18:17:14.300" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple answer: &lt;strong&gt;No. Absolutely not.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your question, you haven't given a single reason why your son actually should talk to him ever again, but you've given a thousand reasons why he would never want to talk to him, and why talking to him wouldn't be any good for your son anyway. You would do your son a great disservice by not respecting his feelings and forcing him to talk to his father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say how old your son is now; but even though he probably isn't an adult yet, please read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; to get an insight what having an abusive parent means, and how dire the consequences can be. (Additional reading below.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing you can do is protect him as much as you can from any contact with that guy, and by reassuring your son that he has every right to choose who is in his life, as well as who isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/health/20mind.html?_r=1&amp;amp;&quot;&gt;When Parents Are Too Toxic to Tolerate by RICHARD A. FRIEDMAN, M.D.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2013/05/10/ending-the-toxic-relationship-and-giving-yourself-time-and-space-to-find-yourself/&quot;&gt;The Invisible Scar&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-19T21:57:56.180" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T21:57:56.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18355" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-19T18:31:57.463" Score="-1" ViewCount="257" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost 15 months old. Are there things i could work on her with? Cleaning? Talking? Potty training? Anything else along these lines that I could start working on with her? And any suggestions on night terrors? She is up 3-6 times a night, not necessarily awake, just crying in her sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13269" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-19T19:40:49.907" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T11:54:31.027" Title="15 month old - developmental activities? Dealing with night terrors?" Tags="|toddler|development|teaching|bedtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-01-21T13:51:22.533" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18349" CreationDate="2015-01-19T19:56:59.130" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some suggestions - these worked for our family - mix and match what works for yours...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eat with her. Eat the same food at the same time. If she sees you eating it, she'll copy you. It may help to serve everyone from the same saucepan - on the table where she can see it - or even serve her from your plate, so she thinks she's getting 'your' food. The more family members you can get to eat at the same time as she does, the better (partly because then the attention won't be entirely on her).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give her finger foods that she can pick up and put in her mouth herself when she feels like it, rather than spoon-feeding her  (aka &quot;baby led weaning&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't eat the food you've prepared (which I'm assuming is both tasty and nutritious), then don't give her an alternative option afterwards (i.e. don't offer an alternative of toast or cake or cookies). She'll be hungrier for the next meal and more likely to eat it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't try to persuade her to eat. Just leave it up to her whether she eats or not. Don't give loads of praise for eating, definitely don't give attention for not eating. Your job to make the (tasty and nutritious) food, her job to eat it if she feels like doing so. If she's not hungry, she doesn't have to eat it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let her make a mess. (Placing a plastic tablecloth on the floor under the high-chair is useful in this context). Make sure there is no &quot;wrong way&quot; for her to be eating / touching / playing with her food. If she's interacting with the food then that's a good thing, so make sure you're never telling her that she's doing it in the wrong way. Table manners can wait until she's older.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't eat her food, eat it yourself (at the end of the meal). Make a big deal about how yummy it is and how much you're enjoying it. Let her feel that she's missed out on something nice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worked for us!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming here that she's an average child without any serious psychological issues surrounding food (which is what she sounds like from your description - the behaviour you're describing is 110% totally normal). But if my assumption is wrong and there are serious issues then you should seek assistance from a healthcare professional: your family doctor should be able to point you in the right direction. Same applies if she's seriously underweight - in that case the strategies above might not be appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T19:56:59.130" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18353" CreationDate="2015-01-19T20:32:20.527" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son has some human rights as defined in the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Convention on the Rights of the Child&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to pay attention to article three. You also need articles nine, twelve, eighteen, nineteen, thirty-three and thirty-six.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, your child probably should have some kind of contact with its father, but this must be carefully controlled and supervised to protect the child from harm.  The father needs to be made aware of the child's human rights and the need to protect the child from harm. The father needs to know that exposing the child to drug use is putting the child in harm's way and jeopardises contact with the child. The father might need to use a specialist supervised contact center to assure safety of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child has made their views clear. Children under 18 might not be able to fully control what happens to them but you need to pay attention to what they say. (Although you need to be careful not to project your feelings onto your child. The way you have framed your question gives me pause).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-25T13:49:02.063" LastActivityDate="2018-04-25T13:49:02.063" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18348" CreationDate="2015-01-19T23:23:57.097" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might be worth getting her hearing checked, a sudden change might indicate a change in the feed-back loop between what she says and what she hears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At age 4, my son's adenoids closed off his Eustachian tubes thus filling his inner ears with liquid and reducing his hearing significantly. Many children's Eustachian do not fully develop until the age of 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T23:23:57.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18318" CreationDate="2015-01-19T23:39:14.973" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the risk of being harpooned by the community, I'll tell you what I did for my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she was about 3 or so she noticed a little character I painted in the mural that covers her whole room. Tons of animals and every sort of environment and nothing human related at all, except I hid the predator in the trees of the jungle. That's what she asked about. So I thought about the story of the predator, yes, the schwarzenegger movie, and how you might go about telling that story to a 3 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cleaned it up a bit - not remembering just how vulgar that movie actually was - and told it as I remember. I don't know if that was a huge mistake or not because she loved it and asked me to tell the story of the predator every night for about a year. Eventually she would tell it to me, which is hilarious to hear a 3 year old's version.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It occurred to me sometime in this fiasco that there are an astounding number of movies I really like, and no real reason why I can't tell her my version of any of them. Try as I might though, she always asks for the ones that you would never expect. The Predator was her favorite so much so that she asked to be the predator for Halloween, which I gladly made for her. She could have won a cosplay award.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually told the whole story in about 15 minutes. Some movies are harder to strip down, but it's usually in that range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it also helped her imagination seeing me just tell stories instead of always needing to read them out of a book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-01-19T23:39:14.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18353" CreationDate="2015-01-20T02:12:42.630" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No, you do not need to force your son to speak to his father.&lt;/strong&gt; Barring some sort of legal document, such as a current custody agreement, there's no law saying that your son is required to talk to his father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Arguing that his son &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; to speak to him is not mature behavior, and illustrates to me that he's still not ready for any some of relationship, no matter how minuscule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the father was truly repentant and seeking to make amends, he'd realize how terrible an impact he had on your sons life and would be understanding of the fact that your son doesn't want to speak to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't give in because he's harassing you. &lt;strong&gt;You also do not need to force &lt;em&gt;yourself&lt;/em&gt; to speak with this man.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T02:12:42.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9089" CreationDate="2015-01-20T02:24:41.883" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the methods already mentioned, here are things we've done with success:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Using a cool mist humidifier that has some Vicks VapoRub (although we buy a generic brand) dissolved inside the water. You can also purchase dissolvable tablets for humidifiers, such as eucalyptus tablets.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We run a small HEPA air purifier inside his room&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The air purifier is mostly preventative, but may provide some relief to children that already sneezing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We bought it because the apartment we lived in when my son was born was very old, very dusty, and the AC unit was of questionable cleanliness. We've moved to nicer places since then, but we continue to run the purifier when my son sleeps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T02:24:41.883" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18355" CreationDate="2015-01-20T11:54:31.027" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;With a 15 month old baby /toddler, the most important lesson is &lt;strong&gt;life&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, do not worry about &quot;lessons&quot; or &quot;training&quot;, but teach her by example. Take her with you wherever you go, &lt;em&gt;include&lt;/em&gt; her in what you are doing (instead of just having her in the stroller) and let her experience the real world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a stounch supporter of the the theory that children learn 24/7 and need to use as many of their senses as possible:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The best way to teach a small child new words is to use them when naming real world things. So instead of reading a picture book at home (which is good, of course!), name and describe the apples you are buying at the store. (How many words / adjectives can you come up with? Challenge yourself a bit!) Talk a lot and be precise with your choice of words, don't hesitate to use &quot;big&quot; words, when appropriate. Once she can speak better, ask and &lt;em&gt;actively listen&lt;/em&gt; a lot. too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The best way to teach (better: let experience) a child math, is to count said apples while putting them in the cart or counting the eggs for a cookie. Later (ok, in a few years), cut up a pie for an idea how the concept of fractions works.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Scrambled eggs (going from liquid to solid) or dish soap (dissolving fat from dishes, making bubbles) give a first glimpse at chemistry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A rainbow, a mirror and a lens, even the curved surface of a spoon introduce the concept of optics - even if you will not name or explain the theories behind for a looong while.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All these things should not be pesented as &quot;lesson&quot;, but simply as observation - I encourage you to ask her about her observations and how she explains them to herself once she speaks better (pre-school, perhaps), you will gleam valuable insights on how your daughters mind works!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I'm not going to adress the second question, as this &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; should be a separate question.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T11:54:31.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18365" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18366" CreationDate="2015-01-20T13:31:53.930" Score="2" ViewCount="3416" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15 month old boy keeps smashing his head against any surface he finds, and if I try to stop him he finds it funny to do it even more and even harder.  As well as this, he is constantly screaming his head off for no apparent reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal behaviour and what should I do about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13279" LastActivityDate="2017-06-20T09:51:53.310" Title="15 month old keeps smashing his head against walls, cupboards, bed and also screaming extremely loud very often" Tags="|toddler|behavior|noise|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18365" CreationDate="2015-01-20T15:04:15.297" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR:&lt;/strong&gt; Make an appointment to see your doctor to discuss it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people are shocked when a child starts banging their heads. They are afraid the child might might hurt themself, or even have autism. In reality, head banging is relatively common (up to 20% of children have been headbangers at some point), is more common in males, often starts about nine month and can last for a few years, usually doesn't involve real pain (they don't cry because they bang their heads) and is thought to be a self-soothing movement when tired or frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is very little &lt;em&gt;recent&lt;/em&gt; literature on head banging, so it is something you should talk to your doctor about. Until the appointment, though, these are things you can look (which of these does your child do?) for to make the discussion more informative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the University of Michigan Department of Psychiatry, U-M Pediatrics:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Head banging is when a child repeatedly hits their head against a solid object such as a crib, as much as 80 times a minute. This can be distressing to the parents or caregivers for concern of injury. However, the child does not appear to be in pain, but rather &lt;em&gt;is calm and content&lt;/em&gt;. The habit usually begins around age nine months and resolves by around age two years. The episodes usually last from 15 minutes to a few hours, and typically occur while listening to music or falling asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Head banging (and head rolling and body rocking) are common childhood self-comforting habits; the child typically outgrows them. In general, you should ignore bad habits (calling attention to the habit and punishment do not usually work and may even increase it), but praise, positive rewards, and patience are likely to help. (Catch your child being good and praise that.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching your child about frustration abd feeling words (so he can express his frustration and work on it with you) etc, as well as diversionary tactics, may help. Self-injurious behaviors (SIB) are often harmless, &lt;strong&gt;but can be worrisome if your child also has developmental delays.&lt;/strong&gt; Talk about the habit with your pediatrician, who can help you decide whether there is any cause for concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From another site (Dr. Greene is the founder of DrGreene.com), a practicing pediatrician:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some children, head banging is a way to release tension and prepare for sleep. Some kids head-bang for relief from teething, an ear infection, or &lt;strong&gt;out of frustration or anger, as in a temper tantrum.&lt;/strong&gt; Head banging is an effective attention-seeking maneuver. The more reaction children get from parents or other adults, the more likely they are to continue this habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pretend not to notice. And if it is part of a tantrum, do not give her whatever she threw the tantrum to get. When you notice her head banging, you might be able to get her to stop for the moment by distracting her or engaging her in a different activity. By decreasing the amount of time she spends in this habitual activity, she will outgrow it more quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the Mayo Clinic: It is important to know normal milestones. At 12 months,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Improved motor skills: babies sit without help, pull themselves to a standing position, usee various forward movements creeping, crawling and cruising) to move around; might take his or her first steps without support.&#xA;Better hand-eye coordination: feed themselves finger foods, grasp items between the thumb and forefinger, banging blocks together, stacking objects, nesting them inside one another.&#xA;New cognitive skills: find hidden objects; imitating you by brushing his or her hair, pushing buttons on the remote control, or &amp;quot;talking&amp;quot; on the phone. Your baby might be able to look at the correct object, such as a toy, when you mention it.&#xA;Evolving language: respond to simple verbal requests, understand words for familiar people and events, skilled at shaking his or her head no, pointing at something out of reach, or waving bye-bye, babbling takes on new inflection and evolve to words such as &amp;quot;dada&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;mama.&amp;quot; You might hear certain exclamations, such as &amp;quot;uh-oh!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Delays in these skills, or regression of skills accompanying head banging may be a sign of autism. In this case, you usually see:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;delayed speech, lack of normal interest in others or in childhood activities, or a regression of early speech and sociability. Communication difficulties are the most serious problem. Patients with verbal auditory agnosia (“word deafness”) understand little or no language (see accompanying table on communication deficits in autism). In addition, children with autism do not play normally. While they may appear to have long attention spans when engaged in solitary activities, &lt;em&gt;they cannot focus on activities performed jointly with others&lt;/em&gt;. Parents may describe them as independent rather than aloof and may even be proud of their self-sufficiency. Children with autism have frequent temper tantrums, require less sleep and awaken frequently during the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From Dayton's Children's Hospital:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Head banging can be upsetting for parents to see. But in most cases, occasional head banging is a form of self-stimulation, self-comfort, or a release for frustration and does not signal another problem. As a parent, you can help by addressing any underlying causes of emotional upset and protecting your son from injury as much as possible. Try not to make a big deal about the head banging or scold him for this behavior. While head banging is common and usually nothing to worry about, in some kids it can be part of a developmental problem. Frequent head banging, particularly if there's a question of developmental delay or abnormal social interactions, should be evaluated by a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reported mean age of self-injurious behavior (SIB) onset was 17 months, and head banging was the most prevalent topography. Functional analyses identified sources of reinforcement for SIB in 62.1% of cases; with the inclusion of all forms of problem behavior, sources of reinforcement were identified for 87.5% of cases. Function-based treatments were developed for 24 cases, with &lt;em&gt;functional communication training prescribed most often (70.8% of cases)&lt;/em&gt;. Implications of these findings for the development of early intervention programs for SIB are discussed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/badhabit.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Bad Habits/Annoying Behavior&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drgreene.com/articles/head-banging/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Head Banging: A-to-Z Guide from Diagnosis to Treatment to Prevention&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aafp.org/afp/1998/0215/p809.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Characteristics and Symptoms in Patients with Autism&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childrensdayton.org/cms/kidshealth/feb9a3292e3c7f2a/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Is Head Banging Normal?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1901/jaba.2003.36-205/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;FUNCTIONAL ANALYSIS AND TREATMENT OF SELF-INJURIOUS BEHAVIOR IN YOUNG CHILDREN: A SUMMARY OF 30 CASES&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T15:04:15.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18368" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-20T16:25:11.290" Score="3" ViewCount="806" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old still doesn't speak in sentences. He can convey things in 1-2 words but cannot form sentences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if he knows a simple sentence like &quot;I want water&quot; but he will never remember to say it and will always say &quot;mummy water&quot;. If asked to say it completely then he will say &quot;I want water&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I encourage him to speak in sentences? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read a lot of posts saying their kid is also not talking yet. But really want to know is did they start talking a little late and what did they do to help them start talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help and guide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13280" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-20T17:57:10.340" LastActivityDate="2015-02-05T21:15:21.947" Title="Delayed speech for 3 year old" Tags="|pre-schooler|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18368" CreationDate="2015-01-20T16:39:38.187" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are worried because you think your child is considerably behind in learning to speak, then you need to have a few things checked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start out by getting the ears checked. If they seem to be OK, but you're still worried, have your child checked neurologically. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that it is not uncommon that boys take a bit longer than girls to reach a certain speech ability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-02-05T21:15:21.947" LastActivityDate="2015-02-05T21:15:21.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18368" CreationDate="2015-01-20T17:35:43.093" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking in sentences and asking for things in sentences are two somewhat different things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the problem is just asking for things - ie, he'll talk about things he's interested like trains or cars in sentences - reminding him to ask in sentences is the right approach; eventually he'll learn to do so.  My three year old still has trouble asking for things properly - we might get 'I want milk', but certainly not a request for it.  We just tell him something (I commonly say 'I want a million dollars!' in a joking tone; while kids don't necessarily get sarcasm, he understands it in this case) or remind him to ask nicely, and he'll do it.  He's very polite to others when asking for things, so we largely don't worry beyond the immediate reminder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's sentences generally, I would say three is a bit delayed, and definitely worth looking into.  Talk to your pediatrician if you haven't already; the earlier you address speech issues the better.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as what you might be able to do now in the latter situation, some of this may have to do with his socialization - does he spend much time with other children of his age or older?  How much opportunity does he have to practice talking or hear conversations?  Children largely learn to talk by hearing others talk - is he hearing you talk regularly?  Is there a language issue - you don't say your native language but from your name I'm guessing it's not english; are you (and others around him) talking exclusively in the language you expect him to learn, or are there two or more languages being used; multiple languages is great if you want him to learn multiple languages, but it can delay speech some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider reducing TV time if he has a lot of that; television is very poor at helping learn speech, and often replaces simply overhearing adult conversations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T17:35:43.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18349" CreationDate="2015-01-20T19:02:56.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered to not to intervene at all? When your child doesn't want to eat, to just leave it at that? 18 months is a bit early for looking ahead more than a few hours, but when it comes to food, I am sure instincts will kick in and make her eat the next day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, the worst way to handle this is to give her the (same) favorite food every day because she doesn't like the one provided. Try to avoid that at almost all cost. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also: Diversity in food is something that needs to be acquired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T19:02:56.960" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18347" CreationDate="2015-01-20T19:19:06.270" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You already have &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18351/7982&quot;&gt;a very good answer&lt;/a&gt;, so I just want to add something: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While children learn to speak only later, there is studies that unmistakingly show that the syllables children hear in their first 6 months do affect their ability to speak them. That means that scientists were able to tell the native language of the parents by what their children babbled at the phase where they start to string syllables. It also means that children who will lose their hearing at the age of 6 months will be much better at speaking than children who became deaf earlier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, yes, what languages children hear at a very early age definitely does influence their ability to speak those languages later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I do not know whether there are studies which even considered anything else than direct speech to the children, and thus do not know whether foreign language background noise is even helpful in that regard. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These are pure statistical findings. There's no reliable cause-effect relationship between exposing your child to a foreign language and its ability to later speak this language. I bet other factors – like the age at which a child is being taught the first foreign language, its exposure to it (staying in a foreign country for a while?), etc. – are more important. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice: If you want to, not overexposing your child to background babble can do no harm, and this being foreign babble &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; do good. Later consider hiring a foreign babysitter and/or try to spend a few months in a foreign country at an early age (just before school is often good) in a way that your child can play with native children. In my experience nothing beats this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T19:19:06.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18373" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18374" CreationDate="2015-01-20T20:29:12.400" Score="7" ViewCount="900" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eight year old son brings homework from school every day.  When we sit at the table and work through it together he produces lovely, legible handwriting, albeit with continuous supervision and constant reminders to try hard.  However, the writing he produces at school is an illegible scrawl, all of it, every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that he is perfectly capable of writing well, why is the writing he does at school of such a poor quality?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've taken a look at the answers to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3928&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; and others here, but they all appear to relate to how to help a child improve their writing skills.  My son has the skills already, and I would like to know why he doesn't employ them whilst at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His teachers tell me that they are paying it particular attention and that the syllabus prevents them from teaching handwriting in the way it was when I was at primary school.  But this doesn't explain why they don't encourage him to practice what he's already capable of doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be most grateful if someone could shed some light on this before I fall out with his school completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13287" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T23:08:26.623" Title="Why is the handwriting my son does at school so poor?" Tags="|education|handwriting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18373" CreationDate="2015-01-20T21:56:31.073" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son's handwriting is changing is because the circumstances are changing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, your son is, as you say, being constantly supervised and reminded to try hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At school, your son is probably &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; watched to make sure he's taking his time while writing. He may also feel rushed to just get it done, or may just be doing it as fast as possible to get it out of the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, this may be a behavioral issue or a classroom instruction issue. The behavioral issue would be him rushing when he doesn't have to, just to get it out of the way. You'll need to help your son remember to take his time writing at school, without having reminders to write more carefully. The classroom instruction issue would be if he's not being given enough time to complete the work at a normal pace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more your son uses handwriting, the faster he'll be able to write while still being legible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also try teaching him script, if your school district does not. Script lends itself to smoother, faster writing. It's specifically designed to be easier to write, as opposed to print which was designed to be consistent for printing presses! Many school systems are foregoing teaching script completely in lieu of teaching typing skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was young, my teachers would remark to me that I had the best script (cursive) that they'd seen from a student in a long time. I used to write exclusively in script because of this praise. However, as an adult, I mostly rush through writing and would consider my script (and print) to be quite atrocious. I also have very little maintenance practice these days. Aside from note taking in certain classes, my writing is done almost exclusively on computers and devices. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T21:56:31.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18353" CreationDate="2015-01-20T22:21:35.637" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Of course my ex immediately blamed me, saying I put him up to it or that I was lying. Now he keeps pestering me&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your ex is still intimidating you and that is not alright. From the information you provided there is no indication that he is clean or that he has been through any kind of domestic violence classes to help him with his addiction to violent behavior. The cycle of violence continues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing that you can do right now for your son is reach out to your local domestic violence shelter, or call toll free either 1.800.799.Safe(7233) or 1.800.787.3224(TTY) so they can put you in touch with some local resources to help support you in learning to make safe and healthy choices for yourself. Providing a stable environment, both emotionally and physically is a parent's job. Sometimes that means needing to tell the other parent &quot;no.&quot; And if you're at all fearful of what may happen if you do, then don't do it alone. Law enforcement is absolutely there to help you.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know. I'm a survivor. And you are too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13290" LastActivityDate="2015-01-20T22:21:35.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18376" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18378" CreationDate="2015-01-21T02:46:41.750" Score="2" ViewCount="119" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am very eager to access collections of good math training activities, games, etc -- hopefully high quality and aligned with current curriculum movements like common core, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Naturally I would prefer free but if the collection was excellent I would pay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where can I acquire respirces, activities, games, for math? My daughter is six years old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1134" LastActivityDate="2023-05-09T05:37:49.230" Title="Are there resources that provide collections of good math training activities?" Tags="|education|games|math|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18377" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18410" CreationDate="2015-01-21T04:41:59.297" Score="2" ViewCount="2540" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everywhere I read, people say that newborns sleep all the time. And everyone's all warning you to watch for their tired signs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem seems to be the reverse - my 4 week old newborn doesn't want to sleep in the daytime at all. It's not a matter of watching for her tired signs - I'm constantly trying to get her to sleep. But I can't get her to bed for longer than 20 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried everything. I just don't know why it's happening. The weird thing is at night, she's somewhat normal - sleeping for 3-5 hours at a time. For example, yesterday, after her 8am wake up, we spent 13 hours trying to get her to sleep - we would nurse her for like 30 minutes before she was able to fall asleep - and then as soon as we put her down, within like 10-15 minutes she was back awake. However, last night, she slept fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question isn't about advice on how to get them to sleep because likely, I've already tried it! Accumulatively, she's probably getting about 8 hours rest at night and maybe 3-4 15 minute naps in the day time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want to know if this lack of sleep is harming her in any way. I've been told their development is very rapid right now so I'm worried this lack of sleep is going to affect her brain (eg. intelligence) or physical development (eg. height)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13264" LastActivityDate="2019-02-04T09:07:49.963" Title="Can lack of sleep be harmful for newborns?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18376" CreationDate="2015-01-21T04:55:27.943" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check out Khan Academy, Math Mammoth, Saxon, Abeka, Singapore, Math-U-See, and Miquon.  Those are the major curricula used by homeschoolers.  The leap pad 2 tablets have some nice math games, and there are tons of apps for iPad and Android if you search the app stores.  You can find a lot of individual activities by searching pinterest or teacherspayteachers.com.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being common core aligned is another issue.  People in my circles (we homeschool and have a few relatives who teach public school) mostly don't like common core math, at least for the younger grades, so most of the resources are more geared toward schools than individual families.  If you're homeschooling, you can choose something better.  If you're supplementing, I guess it depends what your goals are and how your children learn best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T04:55:27.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18381" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-21T08:28:32.527" Score="5" ViewCount="1226" Body="&lt;p&gt;Women have been giving birth naturally throughout history, but what are the risks and benefits to natural birth, i.e. avoiding epidurals and analgesics? Is having a natural birth statistically more or less risky than getting an epidural?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13297" LastEditorDisplayName="user808" LastEditDate="2015-01-22T08:42:29.333" LastActivityDate="2015-01-22T13:11:29.167" Title="Risks and benefits of natural birth" Tags="|health|birth|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18381" CreationDate="2015-01-21T12:06:44.887" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Women have been giving birth for millenia, mamals have been giving birth for millions of years. It is possible and it actually happens a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my country most women do not choose pain relief. There are some complications possible, which is an additional risk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the few days I spent around the delivery ward I've seen women who gave birth a few hours ago already happily walking around with their babies. There's no rule on how much will the childbirth hurt or how long will it last.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T12:06:44.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18381" CreationDate="2015-01-21T13:34:15.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did it and would do it again! I felt there were more risks with epidural and other pain relief methods than doing it the old-fashioned way. That said, I would recommend to anyone doing it naturally to have a midwife, a doula, or a birth coach who has assisted a birth before (not your partner!), who can advise the best positions for pain relief and know how to aid and speed labour naturally. I also read up on relaxation exercises during labour (Bradley method, but there are others) ahead of time with my partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13304" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T13:34:15.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18381" CreationDate="2015-01-21T13:53:37.337" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course it can be done and it happens thousands of times every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key questions for you is probably &quot;Is the the right choice for me and our baby?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This depends on a variety of factors, a lot of which are very personal, so only you can decide. A few points&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is a fair amount if research out there on which one is &quot;better&quot;. Unfortunately a lot of it is very biased so it's difficult to get an objective view. The World Health Orginazation has published &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/maternal_child_adolescent/documents/who_frh_msm_9624/en/&quot;&gt;http://www.who.int/maternal_child_adolescent/documents/who_frh_msm_9624/en/&lt;/a&gt; .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are risk factors associated with home births and there are risk factors associated with clinical birth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Requirement for a home birth is that everything is &quot;normal&quot; and that there are no specific pre-identified risks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A well trained birth attendant (mid wife) is vitally important. It's great if you can establish a good relationship with the mid wife during the preganancy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There ought to be an emergency plan so if things go wrong, you can react quickly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There is enormous cultural bias. While a doctor in Germany yelled at us &quot;do you want to kill your child&quot;, 100 miles across the border in the Netherlands it's a complete non-issue and home birth is very frequent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This being said, we had all three kids at home without pain treatment and it was a wonderful experience. You are in control of most of the process and you are in a comfortable environment with people that you know and trust.&#xA;That's the right thing for some people, but not for others, so it's a very personal choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T13:53:37.337" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18387" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-21T13:59:59.730" Score="1" ViewCount="206" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not American citizen &amp;amp; I don't live in America. I am living in a Southeast Asian country, but I hate the education system there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are too much homework and lack of innovation. So I want my kids to learn American homeschooling program. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However American educational system may be too Western! &amp;amp; I don't like that. I want my kids to learn both Western + Eastern way of life / philosophy / knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the Encyclopedia (such as Wikipedia) mentions both Western + Eastern knowledge, I want my children to attend the homeschooling program that has curriculum based on Encyclopedia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids can learn online through internet &amp;amp; they can do the test online as well. When they are 18 years old, they can come to America for continuous study. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my question is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there any Good homeschooling program that has curriculum based on&#xA;  Encyclopedia in USA?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13307" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T20:06:12.133" Title="Is there any Good homeschooling program that has curriculum based on Encyclopedia in USA?" Tags="|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18388" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18381" CreationDate="2015-01-21T14:33:18.527" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Childbirth hurts. It always has. But the amount of pain you experience depends on many factors, such as the position of the baby, whether you have or haven't ruptured the amniotic membrane, your pain threshold, your anxiety level, your position in labor, and a host of other factors, many of which you have no control over. Can a first time mother do it without pain meds? Absolutely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most physicians (and here I can only speak to the US) don't have enough training in natural deliveries to really help the mother that way (there is a reliance on drugs for pain relief), so I agree wholeheartedly with @HelenM and @Hilmar (That answer was not posted when I started to answer this, or I would simply have commented on my complete agreement with @Hilmar) to get yourself a good, experienced midwife or birth coach who could help you through it and find a breathing and relaxation method you and your partner agree on and practice ahead of time, &lt;strong&gt;if you have decided on that route&lt;/strong&gt;. Even if you have not, I would still recommend you look into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This topic draws strong opinions not necessarily based in fact. There are a great many people who are absolutely convinced that &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; should do it without pain medications, just because &lt;strong&gt;they&lt;/strong&gt; have, or their bias towards all things natural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give you is to plan for the best and prepare for the worst. Definitely practice breathing and relaxation, because it will help you regardless of whether you choose pain meds or not. Have a back-up plan in case things aren't progressing the way you and your midwife would like. The baby has to come out, and it is very highly likely that you will &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; be scarred for life by the experience. If it wasn't worth the final result, people in a position to choose would only have one child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-21T14:48:03.323" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T14:48:03.323" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18290" CreationDate="2015-01-21T15:10:22.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a similar situation, except my kid is tiny, and my dog is a 73 kg great dane.  So the dog doesn't really register the kids &quot;abuses&quot; unless the kid sticks his finger in the dogs eyes or up his nose.  Fortunately for us as well, the dog is totally mellow even in those circumstances.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every kid is different, so your mileage might vary, but the following works pretty well for me for most behavior I want to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As long as the kid is doing stuff I approve of, he lives in a sea of attention and love.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the behavior isn't dangerous or disruptive, I just ignore it.  I don't have to like everything he does.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the behavior is dangerous or disruptive I get close to him, and I say in a very calm but assertive voice &quot;No Scotty, you mustn't do that&quot;, or words to that effect.  At the same time I try to present or guide him to an alternative.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If that's unsuccessul, I remove him from the situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;here are a few examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the dog, it's generally been enough to come to him and say &quot;No Scott, we pet the dog gently like this...&quot; and show him how to pet the dog, or guide his hand in a good petting motion.  My wife and I had to do that some 6-12 times, but I haven't had to step in in about a month now, so I feel like that behaviour is mostly corrected.  If he didn't want to play along with the modified behavior I just took him away and did something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you observed with your child, Scotty would also pet well for a while, and then at some point escalate to more of a bam-bam motion.  I always attributed it to poor fine-motor control.  I see the same behavior when tries to use a fork for example.  If you have tried to learn something that requires a lot of coordination, like playign the guitar, you should be able to relate to it.  When I am learning new stuff on the guitar, I get this annoying itchy-brain feeling until I've trained my neurons sufficiently that the motion becomes automatic.  I imagine that for Scotty everything* feels like that, and it's easy to be sympathetic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When that happened (good petting migrates to bam bam), I just repeated the process, usually with a chuckle (I just can't help myself).  Eventually the kid would get bored and wander off, or I would have enough of the process and I'd take him with me to do something else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem with him throwing his food and plate to the floor.  That was harder.  At first we tried reallly stern &quot;NO&quot;, but that totally failed.  We switched to the same calm and assertive approach, and after three or four offenses we took his plate away for a few minutes.  Since he's underweight we always gave it back after a short interval and tried again.  After three or four repetitions of that we would end mealtime.  After a few days the problem was largely corrected.  We tried the stern NO's longer without success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm happy to say that worked really well.  He now has a healthy appetitite and only throws food the to the floor &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; infrequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At a family gathering I couldn't get him to stop playing with a power outlet, so after 3 verbal corrections (with attempted distraction), I finaly picked him up and took him to our room.  He screamed for a couple of minutes, and I just talked to him in a calm way, explaining that in life you can't always do what you want.  I don't the explanation is helpful, but I think hearing my calming voice was helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a little off-topic, but I think it's helpful as well.  In public places he has a habit of vocalising pretty loudly, in a way that others would find disruptive.  He likes to go Aaaaaaaaa for long periods of time.  On the train or plane that's pretty disruptive for others.  My wife came up with the idea of putting her hand on his mouth and moving it back and forth, make a noise like a child pretending to be an indian (i.e. a wah wah wah).  For some reason this is a lot less irritating for people around us, and both bystanders and the kid find it hilarious.  After a few minutes he loses interest and we do something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13308" LastEditorUserId="13308" LastEditDate="2015-01-21T15:23:44.560" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T15:23:44.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2015-01-21T15:40:30.313" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm probably of the other view that we should never pressure people into things. I remember hearing a story about a young 22 year old who felt pressured by his parents to get a job, Later on his dad found out he took his own life, that's very sad and he blames himself every day as he admits that he may of been part of the problem on putting pressure on his son. (Please I urge you don't go this way with your son, let him finish university) University is not a walk in the park it's hard work. The media does make it sound like a walk in the park these days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lad who was 22 was still in education and most 22 year olds are still in education full time, maybe some of them have a job on the side but not everyone. I feel upset when I read about parents who charge their son or daughter to live with them, we were the ones who brought them into the world. It could end turning into resentment and if we do find ourself in that scenario and feel we can't turn to our parents that's very sad. My parents borrow money from me and I borrow from my parents, we are in this one together which makes it good I feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suffer from a mental health condition and have supported others who have suffered a mental health condition who have expressed things in relation to feeling like a failue which also brings on a feeling of being suicidal. We never know what could be happening in someones mind, everything might seem okay on the outside but it might be that it he just wants to talk to his parents without being judged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hoping everything is okay with yourself and your son, Please don't put pressure on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13310" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T15:40:30.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18381" CreationDate="2015-01-21T16:05:50.843" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bear in mind that pain relief can take many forms, from a &quot;whiff of gas&quot;, as the nurses put it, to an epidural, with various oral medications in between. I had a small amount of gas with my first child. It helped me relax and speeded up the delivery. The effects of the gas do not last long, so basically, it's a full monty. The gas just takes the edge off briefly, and that can help you through a rough spot. An epidural can (if it works properly), basically remove all sensation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that being a first timer is relevant here. It's more a question of how rapidly the labour progresses, when the water breaks, whether other interventions are necessary (like oxytocin to induce).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice, for what it's worth, is to take the advice of the L&amp;amp;D nurses. They know all the tricks, and they often know what sort of intervention (pain relief, changing position, going for a walk), will get you through it and speed things up. I have 4 children with 4 different birth experiences. In every case, the nurses were a big help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The danger of not taking pain relief is that you can tense up under the pain, which then slows down the delivery, which leads to more pain. Natural childbirth methods of relaxation are aimed to break the tension-pain-tension syndrome. You definitely want to have them in your arsenal ... but what if the tension and pain get ahead of you? Do you want to add hours to your delivery when a spot of pain relief might get you over the hump? I mean, that's what happened, back in the day. Remember, too, that the moment that baby is born, you get launched on a 24-7 motherhood project that only ends when they go to college. You don't want to be so exhausted that you can't enjoy the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11382" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T16:05:50.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18381" CreationDate="2015-01-21T17:07:59.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question is asking about giving birth without pain relieve, but all answers are addressing the idea of natural birth/without hospitalized care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Home birth&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me first address home birth as that's likely what you're thinking of. I dare say that home birth without a doubt in my mind is more dangerous for both the mother and the child. Now, I can back this up scientifically and I will in a second, but think about it like this: if something goes wrong getting to the hospital is going to take time. During that time &lt;strong&gt;a lot&lt;/strong&gt; can (and does) happen. And there is nothing that makes home birth safer for the child or the mother to make up for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, just to back this up with some facts. A lot of Dutch people have weighted in on this topic, but they fail to note that the Netherlands have one of the highest child mortality rates of Europe (and the western world in general) and maternal mortality has even risen in the Netherlands since the 80-90. Now, this can be attributed to a great deal due to the tendency of giving birth at far later ages when it's far more dangerous (and worse for the child long term), but that same is true for more countries in the western world and the Netherlands are still doing worse then them. Either way, there are &lt;strong&gt;a lot&lt;/strong&gt; of articles on this topic and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.skepticalob.com/2010/07/netherlands-homebirth-and-high.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; is one I found that looks quite good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Pain relieve&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, first of all there are two types of pain relieves of course pharmaceutical and non-pharmaceutical. Assuming we're talking about pharmaceutical there are various drugs that are used and a relatively more relaxed mother &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; increase the chances of a safe child birth. Now, I am not going to discuss the side effects of some of these drugs (some are potentially pretty dangerous), but let me just say that as far as I know something like the typical mixture of nitrous oxide and oxygen has no relevant negative side effects and does help the mother relax. Now, the effect isn't huge in both directions, so making a choice in this regard is something you can safely do without worrying (too much) about the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Concluding&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all home birth is an extremely bad idea (sorry for putting it this harshly, but take a look at the statistics), choosing not to opt for pain relieve however is a perfectly fine idea. Especially some of the more effective pain relieve drugs can even be dangerous and avoiding those might not be a bad idea. The lighter ones such as the gas mix I wouldn't worry that much about and are likely even slightly beneficial, but not using it on grounds of wishing to fully experience the birth as I have heard some people wish is just as fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6902" LastEditorUserId="6902" LastEditDate="2015-01-21T17:52:28.243" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T17:52:28.243" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18393" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-21T17:42:35.947" Score="15" ViewCount="8321" Body="&lt;p&gt;We want our 5 (almost 6) year old daughter to do certain things while we are eating together -- she should remain seated, use cutlery instead of eating with her hands, and eat at least a tiny bit of everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't want to, she constantly wants to jump off to get things, play with her baby brother, eat with her hands, or eat nothing at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the way it often goes is that we tell her to use cutlery, she doesn't, we tell her again, she doesn't, we threaten punishment... every small thing becomes a power struggle and the atmosphere is extremely negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we don't do that, she eats a tiny bit (or nothing) with her hands and leaves, we don't think that is acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have used a system in the past where she got a sticker if she went the whole meal without standing up, or without eating with her hands. It worked for a few days, then she stopped caring and went back to her old ways. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want to have some minimal standards, but we really need to get a more positive atmosphere. How can we?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE: this has a long history; as a newborn she had cow milk allergy that hurt her through her mother's breast milk, and reflux. She refused to eat anything besides mother's milk until 14 months (growth halted at 8 months, she even lost some weight in the half year after), until she got an infection in her mouth and refused to eat altogether. She was in the hospital for a week. Then we finally got her to eat, but she needed distraction with toys etc while eating -- this got worse and worse until she needed lots of distraction for every single bite. Then she was in eating therapy until 3.5 years or so, and we were able to get her to open her mouth and accept spoons with food on command. Then we switched to regular food that she eats herself and we had to leave that system, since then it's a big power struggle to get her to eat at all -- but she is eating enough now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: note that she eats enough now! I'm not afraid that she doesn't get enough nutrients, the problem is now how we can have meals with a little less tension and also still get her to behave a bit better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all hate meals though, and they're always power struggles...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6797" LastEditorUserId="6797" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T10:41:32.723" LastActivityDate="2015-02-04T20:05:57.477" Title="How can we get our 5 year old to behave during eating, without us nagging all the time?" Tags="|eating|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18381" CreationDate="2015-01-21T18:31:27.257" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife gave birth to our 2 boys at home with no medication.  We went to 'hypnobirthing' class (5 times I think) and practiced at home a few months before delivery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously I can't express how my wife felt exactly, but it seemed to be the length of labor that was hardest (physically tiring) rather than 'pain' (which came at the end).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hypnobirthing is definitely worth looking at, you are not really 'hypnotized', it's probably a poor name.  Instead you are in a state of relaxation and able to ride through the contractions better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a man, I imagine a contraction to be something like a stomach cramp, a cramp makes you want to grimace and curl up, but if you can relax then the discomfort eases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child birth is not easy, and it's slower the first time, but afterwards my wife wanted to do it again - it was a powerful and emotional experience obviously.  The hypnobirthing approach tries to 'unfear' you from it, which I think is important.  In our culture everything about child birth implies screaming and pain, but it doesn't have to be that way, my wife never screamed.  Being afraid and tense is your only enemy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my perspective one thing I would say is having a midwife you are comfortable with, and who gets what you want, is important.  You need to be relaxed and on the same page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking of midwives, and I say this as credit to hypnobirthing, our wonderful midwife was so impressed with the first delivery that she came on her night off for the second delivery because she wanted to be there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4684" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T18:31:27.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18393" CreationDate="2015-01-21T19:14:52.807" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;The balance of power is very one-sided in a parent/child relationship.  Children have very little power unless allowed by the parents.  Probably you are giving her too much power because you want the outcome more than she does.  The way to take it back is to find something she wants more, and take it away, or something she hates even worse, and make her endure it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you are threatening punishment, but are you following through quickly?  There should be no opportunity for a struggle.  You give one or two warnings, then administer the consequence decisively.  If it's not up for debate, don't debate it with her.  Don't try to get the last word, because kids always win that game.  Ignore her arguments, and if she persists, remove her from the situation until she's ready to accept her responsibility and come back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I try not to be that harsh except for issues that are truly not up for debate.  In my opinion, that would include quickly eating enough to meet her nutritional needs.  Given your daughter's history, I personally would let the cutlery and sitting down go for now, and just focus on the core issue.  After she has that down, you can add more requirements one at a time.  Pick your battles, and you're more likely to win them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T19:14:52.807" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18387" CreationDate="2015-01-21T20:06:12.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While we teachers strive to eliminate bias, it still crops up in curriculum.  I feel like this is probably true everywhere.  If you want American (or, possibly UK for a bigger worldview) curriculum, you'll have to take the &quot;good&quot; with the &quot;bad&quot;.  The nice thing about homeschooling, though, is that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can make sure that the desired Eastern philosophies and ways of life are incorporated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, choose a curriculum based on its academic credentials, then be engaged enough to overcome any undesired bias that crops up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11702" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T20:06:12.133" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18393" CreationDate="2015-01-21T21:49:54.107" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem with issues like table manners is twofold: first, you want your children to behave appropriately; but second, you also want your children to &lt;em&gt;choose&lt;/em&gt; to behave appropriately.  Teaching the first is not all that difficult; punishments, delivered appropriately, will certainly yield a result eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching the second, however, won't necessarily come with punishments. Your child will need to learn &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she needs to behave in that manner, and that reason is not &amp;quot;because I told you so&amp;quot;.  The reason is complicated, but ultimately comes down to a combination of &amp;quot;wanting to satisfy your nutritional needs&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;society expects you to act in a certain way&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;family time is important&amp;quot;, etc.; but even there, you need her to understand those as well, and to decide to value those things (at least some). A five year old likely doesn't completely understand why it's important to eat a balanced meal, doesn't really get why she should follow societal norms, and doesn't care much about family time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We struggle with this some with our three year old, probably as much as any other parents do I suspect.  How we deal with this, is twofold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, when we ask him to come to dinner and he resists, we remind him why we're asking him.  Then, we also provide him a reason to want to cooperate. This isn't always ideal, because I'd rather him cooperate because of the good reasons inherent in the activity - but it does help reinforce the activity, which is good in itself.  This is basically how the conversation goes, except it often stops earlier than the last line; as he grows older and matures, we hope to see it become internal largely, where he understands all of these whys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;R, please come to dinner, it's dinnertime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to have dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know, but it's important that you eat dinner so you aren't hungry, and so you grow up big and strong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to have dinner.  I'm not hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, but we still eat dinner together at the table so we can spend some time together.  Besides, you might like some of what we made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to have dinner.  I want to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know, and I love you, but everyone needs to sit together just for a little while.  Why don't you come pick out which plate and fork you want to use?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want Cars fork.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now he's at the dinner table.  Also works is &amp;quot;What drink do you want&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;Do you want to help serve?&amp;quot; from time to time (if it's something he can help with at his age).  We do sometimes have discussions about some of the 'why' questions above - 'Why do we eat together', 'Why do I need to eat to grow up big and strong', etc.; if he asks, we have a (short) discussion about it.  He's only 3, but he already has a pretty decent understanding of some of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would use a few techniques that are not exactly positive, if needed; particularly, 'no playing with toys during dinner', and the final alternative to dinner is going directly to bed (which is used only if &lt;code&gt;I'm too sick&lt;/code&gt; is the reason - if you're truly sick, you should go to bed early, and in the few cases he's been willing to do that, I believe he probably was happier that way).  But overall, we try to keep it positive as much as possible, because that will lead (hopefully!) to more buy-in on his part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The major advantage of trying to get buy-in as opposed to using punishments to enforce behavior is that she will choose to behave this way when not around you more easily.  It also allows her to develop her own personality more - while at 5 or 6 you probably don't have much opportunity to choose to participate (or not) in socially appropriate behavior, as she gets older she &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; have some choice here - so long as she has a concrete understanding of what that choice means.  As an adult it took me years to learn to eat &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; with my hands, because I'd been trained to not do so: so eating fried chicken with my hands was a difficult task for quite a few years, because it took me a long time to undo the 'training' that it was just wrong to eat that way; anything not on a bread product was off limits entirely.  I learned over time what was appropriate and not, and why - but you can help your daughter learn this at a younger age, and should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More explanation of this basic strategy towards child rearing is available in several books, including &lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/0609806939&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parent Effectiveness Training&lt;/a&gt;.  The basic concept is avoiding punishments, and instead teaching your child - even from an extremely young age - why you're asking him or her to do whatever you're asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T21:49:54.107" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18393" CreationDate="2015-01-21T22:41:30.477" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something important is missing here, and that's her pattern of behavior away from the table. That has to be a factor in all of this. If she's a little bundle of energy all the other times, well, it's going to be harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first question is, what did she get for her stickers? If all she got were stickers, that wouldn't work for me, either! How would you feel is you went to work, and you got &quot;paid&quot; by getting a pretty bunch of stickers on a sheet of paper? That may sound silly, but the reward needs to be an actual reward - to &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of your options is to up the reward to something meaningful. At the same time, it needs to occur in a time frame she can hold out for. Younger children need immediate rewards; your daughter is at an age where she need to get a reward in a few days time at most. What does she love that you think is something she might benefit from working for? (You can always ask her.) It could be an activity you do together as well as a more concrete object.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to use discipline more effectively. Some parents don't believe in disciplining a child. Done well, though, I think it's a valuable learning experience, not a way to turn your kids into little marionettes. My favorite book on discipline is 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phalen. One of the things I love about 1-2-3 Magic is that arguing is dispensed with entirely (obviously if done wisely).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Inconsistency, though, is counter-productive. Though it is difficult, &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; follow through on boundaries you set with/for a child. That involves negotiation away from the area of conflict, and picking your battles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're wise here to be wary of food fights. Food has been her enemy often enough. My usual approach is that no child voluntarily starves in the presence of food, but your daughter has more than the typical history with food. You might want to check her health a bit more deeply than the average 6 year old (in other words, blood tests to rule out nutritional problems) and possibly to ask a therapist about a plan of action. To be reassured that she's quite well might help you to relax a bit about &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; she eats and concentrate on &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; she's eating instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-21T22:41:30.477" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18401" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-22T08:42:45.413" Score="11" ViewCount="29396" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just found out that my daughter wrote in her diary that she loves a boy - and she is only 10 years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with the situation? How do I discipline her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13323" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T08:26:18.523" LastActivityDate="2018-01-28T18:00:24.027" Title="How do I handle a 10 year old girl &quot;in love&quot;?" Tags="|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|social-development|relationships|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="22" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-22T13:10:02.923" Score="147" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let's start with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;how do i discipline her&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You don't.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would you be disciplining her &lt;em&gt;for&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because she said she loves a boy?  That's perfectly normal for a child her age to have a crush, and while children that age don't understand romantic love enough to know the difference between a crush and love, that's not a reason to seek to discipline them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, any discipline would be likely ineffective, and possibly do harm to your relationship with your child, since you lost the moral high ground when you read her diary without her permission (assuming you didn't have permission).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Confronting her over this will likely just cause her to become upset that you invaded her privacy and read her diary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know there are countless things to worry about when raising a child, and a diary seems like a good way to find out the sorts of things that are going on in their life that they may not be comfortable sharing with you, but it is a breech of trust, and it is &lt;em&gt;imperative&lt;/em&gt; that your child be able to trust you completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My main piece of advice is therefore this: &lt;strong&gt;stop reading her diary&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the situation with the boy, and what you should do about it....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, there's nothing that &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; to be done.  It is a perfectly normal situation, and unless you have reason to believe that there are causes for actual concern (i.e. that she might start exploring ways to express that &quot;love&quot; that are age-inappropriate), you really should just let it play out on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most I would suggest doing at this point is to ensure that your daughter has basic understanding of how sex works, and what the risks are (pregnancy, disease, the risk of explicit pictures, consent issues, etc.).  You could also take steps to communicate to your daughter that you are always available and willing to openly listen (without judging!) if she has any questions or just wants to talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="13424" LastEditDate="2015-01-26T23:38:14.073" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T23:38:14.073" CommentCount="18" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-22T13:23:45.880" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is not very much detail here and so it makes it difficult to know exactly why you're worried about this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I would not worry. [If it turns out that the boy in question is (a) significantly older or (b) pressuring/forcing her into the idea of being in love, then do be concerned (but don't blame her).]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter (also 10) has had a couple crushes on classmates over the last few years. (These have worked themselves out without any intervention from me, because she eventually realizes the boy in question is just not that great after all.) This stems from social influences -- other girls gossip about boyfriends, TV shows are talking about boyfriends, she knows adults in long-term relationships (married parents, uncles getting engaged, etc.) -- it's just on her mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She phrases all sorts of emotional attachments to classmates as being &quot;in love,&quot; while having very little idea of what that actually entails, and with no interest in sex or a real relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developing crushes is a pretty normal part of growing up. &lt;em&gt;Just being &quot;in love&quot;&lt;/em&gt; is not a very compelling reason to discipline her -- it imposes a punishment for a feeling she can't control. If you've never had a conversation about crushes, love, or similiar relationship issues, I'd look instead for a gentler introduction to the topic. Helping a pre-teen prepare for the next decade of puberty, with all the emotional and hormonal that will entail, is a challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suggest her feelings are bad and should be hidden from you, the pair of you will have a harder time dealing with more serious relationships when she's older (e.g., in high school). If instead she can trust you enough to talk about situations like this, then you'll be positioned to provide good advice that she'll hopefully listen to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-01-22T13:23:45.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18393" CreationDate="2015-01-22T14:20:07.430" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make eating with cutlery a privilege, not a duty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't give her any cutlery for a while, then give her sloppy food without a spoon (you can leave a spoon or fork lying around). Ask &quot;are you big enough to use a fork?&quot;. Use some cute fork with a cartoon figure on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set a good example. Always eat tidily, and make it a fun time, where people chat about their day. Let her feed you with your own fork.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get her involved in preparation - she can cut up tomatoes with her craft scissors, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take her shopping - mmm, what shall we cook today, what do you fancy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2015-01-22T14:20:07.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18393" CreationDate="2015-01-22T18:45:18.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's important to solve why is she hating food? What message are you sending about food? From the description, it sounds like &quot;It's time you stop playing and try to behave and eat&quot; Maybe you also are taking the meal time as a tedious routine... I agree with RedSonja, get her involved in preparation and make it a fun time to be together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13331" LastActivityDate="2015-01-22T18:45:18.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-22T20:05:24.627" Score="32" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;code&gt;I just found out that my daughter wrote in her diary...&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How did you find that out? Did she tell you it was written in there? Did you read it when she expects it to not be read?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you allow your child to have a diary and tell her that these are her private thoughts, and then you invade her private thoughts without telling her, you are giving her the impression that you are above the law. This will make building trust with her much more difficult and it might make her think that it's OK to create rules and then break them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;code&gt;How do I deal with the situation? How do I discipline her? ...she is only 10 years old.&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, what is your desired outcome? You obviously think she's too young for the activities she's engaging in. If you want her to stop writing things like &quot;I'm in love!&quot; in her diary, then you could &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;sarcasm&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt; take away her diary and give her a time-out whenever she says she is in love &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;/sarcasm&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;. Problem solved? ☺ Naw, I bet what you &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; want is for her to be wise when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then first and foremost you have to model this for her. &lt;em&gt;You&lt;/em&gt; need to be wise when it comes to relationships. If you're married, it means modeling it with your spouse. It means when you watch a Disney princess movie or a chick flick or listen to a teeny-bop love song you two &lt;em&gt;talk&lt;/em&gt; about what was &lt;em&gt;wise&lt;/em&gt; and what was &lt;em&gt;un-wise&lt;/em&gt;. This will be an ongoing conversation you'll be having with her probably for the next twenty years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as this specific situation, if you read her diary without telling her (and you gave her the impression that you wouldn't) then the &lt;strong&gt;first&lt;/strong&gt; thing you need to do is apologize for breaking her trust and ask her forgiveness, then give her a hug. Then tell her your expectations and the consequences that she'll get if she breaks them, then be prepared for a big conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll probably ask you questions like these:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How come you (the parent) can be in-love but I can't?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How come all my friends can have boyfriends but I can't?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;But I &lt;strong&gt;am&lt;/strong&gt; in love!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We're just pretending!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;But I want to be like Elsa/Anna/Jasmine/Rapunzel/Beauty/&lt;em&gt;[Disney princess]&lt;/em&gt;!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastEditorUserId="7962" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T12:40:37.247" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T12:40:37.247" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18377" CreationDate="2015-01-22T20:20:34.133" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I fully agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18377/can-lack-of-sleep-be-harmful-for-newborns#comment32780_18377&quot;&gt;anongoodnurse's comment&lt;/a&gt; that you should ask your a doctor about it. Still, here's two points related to your question that I want to point out: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I believe that a healthy baby sleeps as much as it needs to. Now yours is somewhat extreme, but I wouldn't rule it out. (However, this is where asking a doctor comes into: Is she healthy?) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Maybe this child needs to be in contact with you in order to relax enough to sleep. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14403/high-pitched-screaming-before-sleeping/14418#14418&quot;&gt;I had one such child&lt;/a&gt;. After all, children were carried by their mothers for millions of years, and aren't only for a few hundred. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me emphasize again: I suggest you ask a doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-01-22T20:20:34.133" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18377" CreationDate="2015-01-22T21:01:32.103" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Newborns need at &lt;em&gt;least&lt;/em&gt; 10.5 hours of sleep a day, preferably more, and can sleep for up to 18 hours a day - some of this is based on age (very very early is usually more), but the lower limit is where I'd involve the pediatrician.  If your child is really sleeping only 9 hours a day, that's insufficient and needs to be addressed.  Lack of sleep can affect &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/24/health/24brody.html?pagewanted=all&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;mental development and learning&lt;/a&gt; as well as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/en/news/newsandfeatures/pages/growing-consequences-of-not-enough-sleep.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;physical development&lt;/a&gt;, and certainly is critical in the early weeks to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pediatricsconsultant360.com/content/infant-sleep-answers-common-questions-parents&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fully develop systems such as visual and aural&lt;/a&gt; that are not fully developed when born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several online resources both give guidelines like this and have useful suggestions, such as making sure the bedroom is very quiet, dark, following a consistent routine, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/children-and-sleep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sleep foundation&lt;/a&gt; is where I sourced the 10.5 hour recommendation; they have some additional useful resources to the extent you want to try to solve this yourself (but please, please use your pediatrician!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The (British) &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/childrenssleep/pages/howmuchsleep.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NHS&lt;/a&gt; lists an average recommendation of 6.75 hours in the day and 8.75 at night.  That is a total of 15.5 hours, but that's not a minimum - more of an average.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-22T21:01:32.103" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="67" CreationDate="2015-01-22T21:21:56.450" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are all missing out! AUDIOBOOKS! We all spend time in the car, we all need to concentrate on driving... Get audiobooks in the languages that your kid needs more exposure too. It turns out their language skills develop further if they hear the same language in several voices, rather than just your own...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2015-01-22T21:21:56.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12463" CreationDate="2015-01-22T22:23:48.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some tips for when you're having homework trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1.Create a Homework plan&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA; Keep a notebook where you record all your homework. Keep folders in your notebook where you can make different sections for different subjects. You can also use a electronic device such as mobile phone where you can keep all the records.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Get Help When You Need It&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA; Sometimes even though you're paying attention in class, studying for tests, and doing your homework, certain classes seem too hard. &#xA;   -You can ask some help from another student.&#xA;   -When doing the harder assignments, don't be afraid to ask            parents or older siblings for help. &#xA;   -Other option for extra help is a tutor. Find some good homework help company or Tutor over Internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3. Start with the tough subject.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Once you have the harder stuff out of the way, you will need less minutes to do the easy stuff. Put the hardest ones first, so that you can be relaxed at the end.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4. Create a list with all Homework that needs to be done.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Move step by step. Don't try to bypass the steps. Remember, Slow And Steady Wins the Race.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5. Start doing Homework in school if possible.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA; You can complete Homework during study halls and free classes. This will lighten the burden when you get home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;6. Make sure no-one interrupts you.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Find yourself a quiet place and make sure the TV and/or radio is turned off. That way you won't be so easily distracted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;7. Homework on Weekends:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA; Try to complete all your overdue homework on weekends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;8. Take short breaks&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA; Take a short breaks of 15-20 minutes in once you finish your Homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13334" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T00:38:41.087" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T00:38:41.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4043" CreationDate="2015-01-22T22:46:19.283" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think first and foremost you need to model the behaviors you want to teach. Does your child see YOU trying again after a failure??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A little disappointment can actually benefit your child -- as long as you teach him how to bounce back from it and cope with failure. Always Remember one Thing &quot;&lt;strong&gt;Failure is A stepping stone to Success&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;. We're also told that failure is good for kids. Kids seem to learn from failing. Resilience comes not from failing, but from the experience of learning that it's worth it to pick yourself up and try again. That requires at least some experience of success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always Praise the EFFORTS made by your child. &lt;strong&gt;Praise your child&lt;/strong&gt; in a 2:1 ratio – twice as often as you correct them. Your praise will boost their self-esteem and make them willing to try harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Support your child&lt;/strong&gt; lovingly when he fails, and give him a face-saving way to get up and try again. Treat him the way you would want to be treated if you were a kid again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13334" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T00:32:49.763" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T00:32:49.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2015-01-23T00:27:39.150" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will be honest, I have no choice but to work as I was a divorced mom and had a family of four to feed and clothe, and rent to pay to keep a roof over our heads. The children understood, as they knew I was looking out for them, and are now following my example and all work. In between my days off I would take them for picnics and to Stourport and Kinver, and on holiday camping.  All my children have grown up working, with good careers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13338" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T13:37:24.500" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T13:37:24.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2015-01-23T01:01:00.503" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seeing your kids after work is always awesome. Leaving them to go to work can in some ways be like the only break you get in a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would have to say it depends on the kind of person you are. If you just love every second with your kids and have the patience of a saint, then stay at home is probably the way to go.&#xA;If you're like me and have a low threshold for how much urine, feces, vomit, screaming, crying, hitting, demands, fits, and total insanity you can take before you require someone else taking over for a few hours, then your kids will probably benefit from having you go to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of environmental differences between the two situations, covered amply on this thread. I think my only point of adding 2 cents is to say that your own emotional conditions may play a higher role in the adverse affects of either choice than the typical list of social interactions, illnesses, etc.&#xA;If I &lt;em&gt;had&lt;/em&gt; to stay at home all day with my kids, even though I love them, I would probably yell more than they need to hear. I would probably be in a worse mood all the time. I would probably not expose them to the same learning opportunities the childcare options may have. I would probably be more worried about whether or not we could afford anything, and in turn from all of it, I may be a worse parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T01:01:00.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18373" CreationDate="2015-01-23T02:45:48.757" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if it is the same for kids but I know that for me (an adult) I can produce good handwriting when I want to and slow down my writing a bit.  The thing is I rarely want to and here's why:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Writing is a tool.  Writing is not an end in of itself.  The purpose that writing serves in the world is indepedent of how beautifully something is written (as long as it's legible).&lt;/strong&gt;  Unless, of course, you work as a calligrapher or some other kind of artist where the quality of handwriting is a key component of your work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time I see writing as a way to record ideas or information that comes to me, nothing more.  As long as my writing is legible it doesn't need to be beautiful to serve its purpose fully.  In fact, spending the time and effort to write very nice handwriting might actually be detrimental to me, because then it will take longer to record my ideas/information as well as potentially distract me from whatever I am working on or listening to.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relating back to your question, your son is obviously capable of good handwriting but may not make the effort to write to the best of his ability at school because he doesn't see the point of producing nice handwriting.  This may be because, as I've tried to point out, as long as handwriting is legible it literally doesn't matter how nice it looks in almost all cases.  This is because writing is a tool to record ideas and information rather than being a purpose in of itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13340" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T02:45:48.757" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="379" CreationDate="2015-01-23T04:26:42.930" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The schools these days are the bullies. I'm tired of this hands off/no one's fault policy. It's not doing anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are always going to be kids who are bullies and the best way to take care of a bully is to stand up to him and humiliate him back. Usually the bully is taught to be a jerk because of his parents. Talking to his parents is only going to get him beat up on and angry because of that, or if the parents are in on the bullying he will tell them and it will get worse. Befriending him is only going to make him try to make you be in his circle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I stood up to a bully in 7th grade. I wouldn't let it happen. What happened? No one bullied me ever again. What happened to my friend who didn't stand up to her (this was while I wasn't there or it wouldn't have happened) they kicked her and made her crawl home on her hands and knees. The school isn't going to do anything to the bully but give him or her detention and a &quot;stern talking to.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this is, of course, as long as the bully isn't the kind to cause danger with a weapon. If it is this kind of person making death threats then the police need to be involved NOT the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13342" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T13:58:40.407" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T13:58:40.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18419" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-23T06:10:37.210" Score="10" ViewCount="2136" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is now 1 year and 10 months old and he hardly speaks. He calls Maa, Paa and very few words. But he understands whatever we say and is smart enough to do things. He will understand if we scold him or praise him.  He helps in our daily work, even if we tell him not to by saying that &quot;You can't carry it, as it's too heavy.&quot; He is not ready to listen and wants to do it anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am bit worried that should I put him in a playhome with this condition or give it some more time until I put him in one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13346" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-01-25T04:44:51.647" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T13:09:42.207" Title="My son has not started speaking properly, now he is 1 yr and 10 months" Tags="|development|speech|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18419" CreationDate="2015-01-23T10:02:46.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not speaking properly at 1yr 10 months does not seem abnormal to me. I've met my girlfriend's daughter when she was a bit more than 2 years old, and she was barely saying a small set of words. At 4 years now, she never never never stop speaking... which is adorable but a bit exhausting. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think most childs do not talk more than a few words barely recognizable at that age, although I do not have any source for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T10:02:46.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-23T10:08:48.360" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting a crush on a boy at ten years old is really normal and reasonable and nothing to worry about. I had my first crush (on my big sister's boyfriend, I might add!), when I was only six years old!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age, it is kind-of hero-worship and it is really good for kids to &quot;practise&quot; emotional attachments and social interactions. I think it is unlikely that (unless she has some really strange peer-pressure), a little girl would consider taking love to the physical level (so to speak).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So please, talk to your kids, don't &quot;discipline&quot; them for what is normal and healthy and will ultimately assist their social development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13349" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T13:03:07.763" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T13:03:07.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18393" CreationDate="2015-01-23T10:31:43.030" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, now 8.5, also used to struggle us at every situation she got in (and she still does). I don't want this, I don't want that, you never listen to me, my brother may do that but I don't, it's always my fault, you don't love me, I don't love you, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is life, these are kids, that's almost standard. No kid in the world grows up sitting at the table eating like a princess. It is a struggle, it is a fight. This sounds harsh, but this is reality. The question is, how do you turn it into something acceptable. I think that setting clear rules makes it easier for all. E.g.: Everyone sits at the table until only on person is left eating, and then you may get up. If you get up too early without asking, we will take away your music for tonight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is you who set the rules. You determine what boundaries may be touched or even bent, and what is the line not to cross. Most important: you are responsible that your kid doesn't want to cross the line. You must be willing to do what you threaten with. If you say &quot;I will take away your doll for a week&quot; but you never do, you have lost. Every single time you threaten her but don't punish her after crossing the line, making her accept that line gets harder. Think of it when threatening her in anger - yelling is not productive either. Be calm and act as if it is not a discussion, as it is not. Tell her it is not a discussion, tell her why you punish her, tell her what her reward is if she behaves good. Tell her afterwards that she determined the outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion treating her like a special kid will make her special. If she gets used to being special, she will fully accept that role and play it against you. The sister of my wife is such a person and that is nothing you want your daughter to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course acting like you want her to act (beeing a good example) is self-explanatory. Distracting her from what she is complaining about may help once or twice, but only shows that you don't wanna enforce your own rule and the including punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal is to reach a level where everyone knows that it is not worth discussing about sitting at the table. This process will take about 20 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13351" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T10:31:43.030" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18423" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-23T10:42:20.373" Score="7" ViewCount="7533" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an almost-2-year-old who tends to be difficult at the dinner table. She'll usually eat a few bites on her own, then either focus on something (e.g. &quot;don't want carrots&quot;, &quot;want cheese&quot;) or just start saying no. Going around the focus, e.g. pointing out that there aren't any carrots, or adding shredded cheese, is usually only good for another 2-3 bites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I think that she quickly starts thinking about the tastier things to come (cheese or bread after the main course) and then of course veggies don't look so good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One trick that seems to work is for me to take a spoonful of food and pretend that it's an airplane flying around her head, trying to land in her mouth. It turns it into a game; she smiles and covers her mouth, but eventually lets the plane land. However, I'm worried that this will devolve into being a necessity to get her to eat at all. Am I giving in to her inappropriate whims, or is this a harmless game that she'll eventually grow out of?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2801" LastActivityDate="2021-03-22T03:51:16.473" Title="Is it bad to pretend the spoon is an airplane to get a child to eat?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18373" CreationDate="2015-01-23T12:52:37.940" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The teachers are not paying as much attention as you are with homework -- if nothing else because they have to deal with many students, and cannot work one-on-one all day with him. Without that constant encouragement he reverts, producing easier, faster, and sloppier work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Arguing with the standards (generally set by the state, not the district or school, and fairly immutable) won't get far. Perhaps asking them to every now and then mention to him as he's working, &quot;Your handwriting on your homework was very nice! Can you put some of that effort into what you're writing right now?&quot; and then move on to other students. If he realizes that they &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; care what his penmanship looks like, perhaps his motivation will improve. This shouldn't conflict with any specific techniques they have to teach to, and also doesn't add a significant amount of time to their workload.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T17:49:07.543" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T17:49:07.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-23T13:49:03.303" Score="50" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with the situation? How do I discipline her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think a lot of people are equating &amp;quot;discipline&amp;quot; to &amp;quot;punishment&amp;quot;, when that isn't necessarily the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately your question doesn't tell us much about your values or parenting style, so I can only provide a few comments and possible directions you might go in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Summary&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She doesn't know what love is - this is what she's trying to understand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She needs your love and support now more than ever - nurture your relationship with her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Model good relationships for her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to have one-on-one time with her every week&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Enjoy entertainment together, and use this as a spring-board to discuss relationships&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't snoop unless there's a specific immediate danger and your one-on-one time isn't helping&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her private thoughts often don't lead to anything actionable - they may not be as meaningful or actionable as you think they are&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;What is love to a ten year old?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it's important to recognize that she doesn't understand what love is.  The onset of puberty in girls is right around this age, plus or minus 2 years, so whether she's already going through it or not, some of her peers are.  There are many, many cultural cues she's newly picking up on that she hadn't noticed before about relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While these changes and new recognition is going on, she is going to be exploring relationships. She wants to understand the feelings she is having, and how her interactions with others alter those feelings. She wants to develop relationships of various kinds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, depending on how you've raised her, it's unlikely that anything serious will develop.  She's just barely exploring her thoughts and feelings - in fact even writing down the words &amp;quot;I love [so and so]&amp;quot; may seem terribly exciting for her, and she might not actually be acting on these feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Relationship discipline&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's already well past her very formative years.  Hopefully you've demonstrated in word and deed what a good relationship is meant to be. If not, you can try to talk about relationships in general, and steer her a little bit, but the reality is that those eyes already picked up and internalized a lot of relationship advice from how you've interacted with men and boys over the last decade.  If you've said, &amp;quot;I love you&amp;quot; at appropriate times and to appropriate people according to your values, then chances are she will follow suit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point in time she does need to practice discipline over her body.  In the same way you explain how eating affects the body and mind and give her the knowledge and power that allow her to decide appropriate eating habits, you should explain not just the fundamentals of her reproductive system, but how it will affect her mind and feelings, and how those feelings can sometimes encourage inappropriate behavior. She should understand that while she shouldn't try to suppress those feelings, she should try to direct them according to her value system so that she doesn't find herself in situations she doesn't want to be in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means you can't rely on school or society's teachings regarding sexuality and relationships.  If you let others teach her these things, you give them permission to set her standards and values - and given your concern, I'm guessing that's not acceptable to you.  So you have to be proactive and let her know that her sexuality and relationships aren't bad, but that the things you value have sound reasons meant to protect her and strengthen her future relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't shy away from this responsibility. This isn't a talk you can have once and then be done - you need to occasionally bring up an aspect of relationships you value or dislike, and discuss that with her.  Movies, books, and other entertainment bring up a lot of good examples where a short statement or discussion about the character's feelings and actions can provide that occasional teaching moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the next several years, try to make it a point to consume entertainment with her that treads the line matching your values.  Spend a lot of one on one time with her - she's still at an age where she would love to go out to walk in the park with you, or have a sundae together.  Soon enough she won't want to, so develop patterns and habits with her now so she will continue to want this relationship with you, and so she will trust and listen to you because your love for her is obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Parental snooping&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Others have addressed this, and so I feel like I should as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your daughter have a relationship that's evolving and developing at a frightening pace.  It might not seem like it day to day, but the changes she will experience over the next several years, and the emotional turmoil these changes will cause, should be at the front of your mind.  You had to deal with this, and you likely recall many aspects of it that weren't positive.  She needs you now more than ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, you need to nurture this relationship. She needs your support and help.  There will be some clashing or head butting, that's natural, but in every interaction you should consider how much you love her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what you've taught her regarding private thoughts and feelings recorded in a journal. However if she finds out you've been using that to gain insight into her life, she will lose a lot of trust in you, and may even become paranoid.  These would not be good for your relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reality is, though, that if you spent an hour with her every week, one on one, you'd probably gain much more information about her and her life than she writes in her journal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there's no real need to snoop.  If you felt she was in specific danger, and she's already completely lost your trust and respect, then you might have a compelling need to discover information she may be hiding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But barring exceptional circumstances, you should leave her diary alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of the problem is that she will write thoughts and feelings she has no possible way to act on, but once you've read them you may take them to be more meaningful than they actually are.  And you can't discover the difference without essentially grilling her, and giving up that you are snooping - which &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; damage your relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So unless you've already received information elsewhere that seriously concerns you, and she's already lost your trust and respect, then I'd suggest staying away from her private thoughts, and instead nurture the relationship you two already have so it becomes unnecessary anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Conclusion&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go re-read the summary. You love her, and you merely want to help her avoid the pitfalls of life in this world that will hurt her, or prevent her from reaching her capacity as an adult.  This time provides a breather before she becomes a full teenager, and launches herself into the world. Use it to gently guide her thoughts and feelings, and she will develop the relationship skills you value.  There is no need to punish her for what she's written in a private journal, but now that you've awoken to the reality of your little girl growing up and changing, put careful thought into how you can best guide her into paths of growth and happiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to do this is to develop a strong relationship with her, providing opportunities for you to convey your values, and, most importantly, your love and desire for her well-being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T14:28:46.587" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18419" CreationDate="2015-01-23T14:57:13.177" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please see &lt;a href=&quot;http://drhart.net/clinic/forms/Denver%20II%20Developmental%20Milestones.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this PDF&lt;/a&gt; called the Denver Developmental II. It represents normal milestones in development and is used around the world. The white area in each rectangle are the normals; the blue areas are the &quot;late but not off the chart yet&quot;. Off the chart indicates a need to probe further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/mv3hi.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you can see (I've added the arrows at 22 months), by now he's delayed if he doesn't know 6 words (any words. &quot;maa, daa, baa (bottle), no, etc. They all count.) He should be able to point out two things that you're reading to him or showing him (of all the pages, not on every page). If he points to a doggie and a cow, you're all set for that one. If he doesn't, he has 2 more months to pick up that skill before it's considered abnormal. If he knows any body parts (&quot;Where are your hands? Show me!&quot; &quot;Where's your nose/mouth/head/(anything), he's good. If he occasionally combines 2 words (&quot;Maa, no&quot;), he's good. Note the top box: &quot;speech half-understandable&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This gives you a rough idea of two things: what's considered normal, and how late most kids develop speech. Some experts do not even advocate diagnosing a speech problem before 24 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The PDF will show if he's on target for other milestones. Without asking you specifically (you can look at the chart yourself), I would guess from the bit that you say, that he's just fine!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, enjoy the little guy for who he is: an intelligent, sweet, helpful little guy. Don't worry about putting him into preschool; it's fine if you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a doctor's appointment at 24 months, and if he has fallen off the chart on anything, talk to your doctor then. He may be an early bloomer in some areas and a late bloomer in others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, it's OK to fall off the chart in a few boxes (especially speech). It's the overall pattern that matters, and it's just a tool to let your doctor know if they need to &lt;em&gt;consider&lt;/em&gt; any other tests. A doctor can usually diagnose a problem using this chart (asking mom if the baby does these things) and watching the child playing on the floor during the interview. &lt;strong&gt;The chart is not a substitute for the trained eye of a physician.&lt;/strong&gt; It's just a guide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T15:02:33.160" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T15:02:33.160" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18419" CreationDate="2015-01-23T15:04:48.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My youngest is also 22 months, and is definitely not &quot;speaking properly&quot; by some definition, though he sounds like he's a little further along than yours - he puts 3-5 words together (&quot;Not do that&quot;, &quot;Stand up&quot;, etc.).  Definitely not sentences or anything else I'd call &quot;properly&quot;, but quite in the normal range for a child of that age from my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are definitely a variety of different ability levels when it comes to speaking; 22 months should be able to say some words, but it sounds like he's at that level.  Boys tend to be further behind than girls in terms of speaking, and if he's an only child (or a first child) then it's also going to delay things some in terms of sophistication (speaking in sentences, for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting him in a playhome (I assume this translates to 'daycare' of some form) will neither help nor hurt him in this area, as long as you're regularly interacting with him when he is at home; if you're busy (a lot of cleaning/cooking, or online education classes, or such) then it likely would help him; children learn to talk by hearing others do it, first and foremost, so if he's around people who talk more around him (both his-age and older kids, and the teachers) he'll be able to improve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should be seeing your pediatrician at around 2 years old, hopefully, and during that visit you should discuss this concern with her/him.  Your pediatrician is able to help you understand exactly what you should be concerned with.  He/she can test your son's hearing, which is the most common problem related to speech; particularly if your son had more ear infections than is typical for a child (more than 3 that required medication, I think) this is a good thing to check.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend filling out an Ages and Stages questionnaire for his age, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.portlandpediatric.com/documents/24-Month-Questionnaire.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; which is appropriate for 24 months.  This gives you a checklist that will help you answer questions when you go to your appointment; many of the questions the doctor should ask are on this sheet.  Do not expect your child to do all of the things listed - it is intentionally including some things that would be well above age level (I've always felt as an honesty test, largely, though I don't know for sure) and every child certainly develops differently, so different children would be at different levels in this questionnaire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, I think that your son is not necessarily particularly behind in speech; but that doesn't mean you shouldn't stay on top of things, as if it turns out he is developmentally delayed in this area, the earlier you address the problem the better it is for his future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T15:28:49.973" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T15:28:49.973" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-23T15:20:10.220" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have to deal with it smartly and make it a win-win situation.&#xA;First of all don't feel bad about people telling you that reading that diary without her &quot;permission&quot; was wrong. &#xA;Parents have super-admin rights and whatever they do they do with the good-will of their children in mind. Just as a super-admin does everything in the interest of the system. At least, most parents will not knowingly harm their own children. That kind of time has yet to come ... but God forbid.&#xA;Talk to her like a friend if you were just the same age. &lt;strong&gt;Make her to herself share what you already know.&lt;/strong&gt; And that is your test as a parent!&#xA;From there delicately try to change things without using brute force as far as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;lastly dont assume that she is wrong. Many great love stories did start at a young age (Romeo-Juliet?, Devdas-Paro), ... matters of the heart defy logic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13358" LastEditorUserId="13358" LastEditDate="2015-01-23T15:26:12.733" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T15:26:12.733" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4043" CreationDate="2015-01-23T16:17:42.910" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Has your child ever had to deal with failure before?  This could be a new experience for her that she hasn't been prepared for in her life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Failure is a part of life - and something that is very difficult to learn how to deal with.  As a parent it can be too easy to try to shelter a child as they grow from failure.  The result later on can be a child who is not prepared to face failure on their own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, they may have been taught how to deal with failure, but not how to deal with academic or independent failure - it is important to teach a child that failure is something that should not discourage them - that a second attempt can lead to success.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest trying to work on homework together with your child.  Encourage them to put in the effort even if they aren't sure of the answer.  Reassure them that the effort is more important than success. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be very difficult, because there is less tangible reward for completion than there is for success.  You might consider giving them a reward yourself for completing their assignments, but be sure to supervise them while they're completing it - you don't want to encourage quick, sloppy work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-01-23T16:17:42.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-24T08:46:57.113" Score="-8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why are people going bonkers about a parent reading a TEN YEAR OLDS DIARY. Privacy? No honey, A ten year old doesn't have privacy at least not in the absolute sense. That will come when she's sixteen or so. Of course maybe she's super-mature and has the mental age of a 21 year old. In that case the dairy is likely just bait or a false lead to see if mommy/daddy are spying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OP you wrote your question rather vaguely. You didn't give us insight into what is going on. Are you worried that something is wrong so you read her dairy? Is this just a mom/dad moment with you just looking after her (periodically reading her dairy to see what's happening thru her eyes. I know we WANT to be there). I'm sure A LOT of people will scream bloody hell at this most vile parental intrusion into the &quot;private life&quot; of a ten year old. I'll ask those people this: Should we be allowed to change our babies diapers or is that also an intrusion into their &quot;private life&quot;? Simple answer for you all : If she NEEDS mommy/daddy to take care of her then her &quot;private life&quot; is by definition very limited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly the people who think ten year olds should be thought all there is to know about sex. People screaming foul at a parent doing what is RIGHT compared to what is in their opinion moral. Does lead me to believe people are way overly sexed and have no clue what parenting is. A ten year old is NOT a mini-adult. A sixteen year old is NOT responsible enough. They lack the experience needed. Well duh, they are just getting started acquiring that experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was actually not random ranting. Parents need to WORK on parenting instead of being lazy! Some assume kids are mini-adults. FALSE 99% OF THE TIME. And don't go preaching about that 1% if it happens to you, the parent, you will be caught with egg on your face and believe me you will truly st that moment feel what pride and happiness are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Others will baby them too much. This leads to weak willed kids who need mommy/daddy for everything. you all know what the scary thing is. There IS NO RIGHT ANSWER. That is what being a parent means. YOU HAVE TO decide what is best and how to go about doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said. OP if you honestly want REAL help you must give far more information regarding the circumstances then what you did. We can't parent for you. Nor does anyone have a magic answer for you. If you're worried about her being &quot;in love&quot; then DON'T! Instead nurture her feelings of what love at it's heart is supposed to mean. No not sex, not crushes, but that special feeling of caring and bonding. Of wanting to share your happiness with another (think caring for a pet, or loving a younger sibling etc) Nurture those feelings in her. Those are the very seeds of a warm caring heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about her being too trendy (Which BTW you mention nothing about, so I'm going by my imagination here.) Make sure she understands that LOVE is a feeling that can best be described as &quot;the object of your love making you happy and him/her getting that same feeling in return, of wanting the other to be happy and knowing that the other feels the same for you. Meaning you must first be happy or the object of your love can't by definition be.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sex is just a physical manifestation of this in a certain form of relationship yet can never be it's root, it's cause or it's substitute. Of course this is IMO a bit much for a ten year old. Still the first part about what &quot;love&quot; is should be celebrated and nurtured. The talk about sex will come a bit later. But do keep that door open. She'll be asking about that in one way or another much sooner then you'd think. But don't go breaking in that door by yourself either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the best advice I can give regarding &quot;disciplining&quot; her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to meddle in how you parent more then just trying to answer your question to the best of my ability. But I take special interest in the reading your daughter's dairy part. My thoughts about it. Firstly it is a white lie to do so. But it is also one thats potential for good far exceeds any sort of moral wrong that people may come up with against it. But it should be done right. You should NOT use the information gathered from her dairy for anything but the most serious concerns. I'm talking kool-aid cults not innocent crushes. Talk with her, reaffirm what love means to you. Bring up topics from when you were her age regarding these things. Heck even make up stories if it helps get the right conversation started. But unless you have a very valid reason for revealing that you in fact do read her dairy. Keep that part a secret. That is how you respect her privacy. It's hard, it's very hard but it's supposed to be that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel you need more advice and opinions from people about what to do, then please provide us with more information about the situation. So far it looks like you are panicking over something very natural and innocent. I do honestly believe you are doing the right thing by keeping a eye on what is happening in her life when you aren't there (reading her dairy). But you should only act on that information when a situation calls for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now just use the fact that Valentines day is soon to strike up a conversation about love/boys/crushes. Right now it looks like she needs you to be the kind knowing voice in a sea of unknown feelings that she is beginning to feel. Don't be afraid to talk to her about that. Use common sense and the values you want for her as your guides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, hope this helps.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13372" LastEditorUserId="13372" LastEditDate="2015-01-24T15:01:09.003" LastActivityDate="2015-01-24T15:01:09.003" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-24T13:03:48.420" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Best way&lt;/strong&gt; is to tell the truth, but in a way that she can listen to a story, where someone else learns to love or falls in love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13377" LastActivityDate="2015-01-24T13:03:48.420" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-25T02:20:14.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well think back to when you had your first love.   I hardly think discipline is the correct form of action,  it sends the signal that love is a bad thing and I'm pretty sure that's not what you want to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that you as a parent want to protect your child however too much protection  isn't really helping as it shelters your child from what the world really is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading a journal is a trust breaker but you could try talking to your child to get them to open up about it.   Once an open communication path is open you can discuss your thoughts on relationships and what you feel is too early and why you feel that way.   Children respond quite well to open and honest communication. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13385" LastActivityDate="2015-01-25T02:20:14.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-25T07:22:48.620" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hope you did not give her the impression that her diary was private because if you did, then you will do real damage to her trust in you if you let her know that you read her diary. This is the most important thing to take away from this situation in my opinion. Trust is easily lost and regained with great difficulty. She might even start thinking its okay to lie and do things behind your back; after all, you did it to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you left out some really bad details in your question, disciplining her for this would be totally inappropriate, in my opinion. A good long talk on the general subject is probably a good place to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13390" LastActivityDate="2015-01-25T07:22:48.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18423" CreationDate="2015-01-25T07:53:46.070" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have four adult children, and we played food-as-airplane with all of them. While it's true that they all lost weight upon entering college as they struggled with learning to feed themselves without our entertainment, I can say that they have all achieved normal weight and are adept at self-feeding now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, that was an attempt at a joke. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play airplane if you and she like it. It's fun for the toddler, and if it gives you some peace about getting something nutritious into her, then it's doubly rewarding. All children grow out of this stage some time. Normal children grow up healthy in the presence of nutritious foods, even if they are not eating as parents think they should. Make sure there are lots of healthy options around the house, and not much sugar or junk food. If you're really worried, talk to her doctor about a daily vitamin supplement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to model good eating habits and to avoid food battles. I've added a link below that, if you can overlook the constant use of the words &lt;em&gt;food neophobia&lt;/em&gt;, has some valuable advice about stages picky eaters go through, why they are picky eaters, and what to do about it. While I doubt your child is a picky eater, it just explains the phenomena pretty well (if it is a bit dense) and has some tips that anyone can use to get kids to eat healthily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last anecdote. I knew a child who had extreme tactile defensiveness, and would only eat (I kid you not, it was very strange) plain cheese pizza, chicken, pretzels, spaghetti/lasagna, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and raw carrots. Nothing green &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt; entered his mouth, no fruit or other vegetable, nothing but those foods, vitamins, and &lt;em&gt;lots&lt;/em&gt; of fluids (low fiber meant lots of fluids). He also had problems in other areas (clothing, unfamiliar surroundings, weather sensitivities, etc.) He had the perfect parents, God bless him. They just fed him what he would eat without making a fuss. They accepted him and loved him as he was. Believe it or not, he was not sickly, obese, or detectably malnourished. He was very intelligent, unfailingly polite, athletic (not school sports, though), and grew into a fine young man who married, makes a living, and now feeds his own children. You may think that's not possible (I would not have believed it myself if I had not followed him for over a decade).*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, it all turned out well in the end. He's eating better now as an adult. But I believe a saving grace in this child's life was having parents that just didn't make him feel bad about himself, either at the dinner table or away from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt; Nothing worked for this child, not dietitians or occupational therapy, or psychologists. The parents threw up their hands in defeat, and made the best of it.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0195666307003716&quot;&gt;Food neophobia and ‘picky/fussy’ eating in children: A review&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-25T07:53:46.070" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14569" CreationDate="2015-01-25T21:50:37.090" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We gave labneh, home made yoghourt, egg yolk, mashed apple, banana and pear when he was 6 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7701" LastActivityDate="2015-01-25T21:50:37.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18442" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18443" CreationDate="2015-01-26T02:16:55.327" Score="10" ViewCount="624" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter became potty trained almost two months ago. She was pretty good with very few accidents (maybe one every week or two). Two weeks ago she had some massive regression. She wets her pants now more times then not, probably about 85% of the time. She will now only go to the potty when we coax her to with candy as a reward. She will not go with candy as a reward of her own incentive, only with coaxing. When we ask her why she keeps doing this, she says she's having to much fun to go to the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she ready? Anyone have similar experiences? What solutions are there to encourage her to go on her own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1794" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T15:51:21.787" Title="Is our toddler ready for potty training - potty training regression" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18442" CreationDate="2015-01-26T03:22:06.653" Score="6" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Is she ready?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BabyCenter offers a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-training-readiness-checklist_4384.bc&quot;&gt;checklist&lt;/a&gt; that you can go through to see if your child is ready to be potty-trained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering you already potty trained her once, I would guess that she meets the physical and cognitive &quot;requirements&quot; of potty training. Since she was highly successful (an accident once every other week or so), I would also suppose that she met the behavioral requirements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without knowing all of the details, I would still be willing to assume that, yes, your daughter is ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Why is she having problems now?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Potty trained children regressing is a fairly common occurrence. Children will start wetting their pants again for a variety of reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They're too engaged with their activities (which seems to be your case!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Big changes in their life happen (such as a new daycare, preschool, or sibling)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Illness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Realizing their Pull Ups work just as well as diapers for pee&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it can be hard to determine what the reason is, so you've got to try tackling all of your bases. However, it seems here that we have a pretty good idea as to &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; your daughter has stopped using the potty: It's boring, and she'd rather be doing her fun stuff. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, now, you'll have to treat this as a behavioral problem. Your daughter now knows it's not okay to wet her pants anymore. She knows she needs to stop playing when she needs to go potty. Instead, she's refusing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;What can I do?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're going to have to force some consistency on your daughter. Since she's refusing to go on her own schedule, I would start making her go on a schedule of your choosing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every [X] hours you can have her stop what she's doing and take a trip to the potty instead. She doesn't get to argue or keep playing (or doing whatever). She just has to go. If she refuses, you could use your existing discipline system. Typically, it's not recommended to discipline a child during potty training, but she's technically &lt;em&gt;already&lt;/em&gt; potty trained and is now misbehaving. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This method is very controlling, however, and doesn't really set up your daughter to be &lt;em&gt;independently&lt;/em&gt; successful. It may work, but it'd be better to instill motivation in your daughter to take care of herself without your control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to do this would be using a simple sticker chart type of concept. If your daughter uses the potty without wetting her pants, she gets a sticker (and maybe some candy, too). If she has a sticker for the last time she went potty, then she can choose when to go to the potty the next time (which may be when she's not having as much fun). If she wets her pants (no sticker), then she has to go the next time whenever you tell her to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would choose the times that are most inconvenient for her, so that she learns it's better to do it herself! If your daughter is allowed to watch TV, for instance, the middle or end of an episode is prime time to send her to the potty. You may deal with more tantrum-like behavior or arguments during these times, but if you can calmly let her know that she could have waited if she'd earned her star, then I think the message will get across.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she tries to go when you tell her to, but can't (because she doesn't need to), then I would still count it as successful (gets a sticker). Unless it becomes a problem where she's constantly wetting herself 10 minutes after you made her sit down, there's no reason not to count an attempt as a success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another trick that may help is getting an electric egg timer. You can get one pretty cheap (I recently bought one for $6 or $7 at Target), and they allow you to set timers for longer stretches than conventional egg timers. To use the timer, I would set it for 2-3 hours, and explain to your daughter that when the timer goes off she should go to the bathroom if she needs to. The alarm on the timer may be enough to snap her out of whatever else she's so focused on. This is a more passive trick, though, and may not be successful if your daughter is willfully choosing not to go, versus some kids who forgetfully don't go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T03:22:06.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8792" CreationDate="2015-01-26T11:52:08.107" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If children are brought up in a controlling environment, whatever that may look like, they will probably rebel against whatever it is be it clothing, beliefs, music, opinion etc. If they are brought up in a loving environment, which is open and honest, then they will feel comfortable sharing and be able to make the choices they need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provided your wife and you talk about your differences in a loving way in front of the kids and with them, not making a big thing about it and not ridiculing or demeaning either one regardless of either of your (plural) opinions, then the kids will be the best environment they can be to make up their own minds; regardless of them believing something that you don't like. The only phrase that you've used that's inconsistent with this is that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...I'd probably regret if they chose to embrace young-earth creationism or similar fundamental views...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here I loop round to the start of my post, because if you deep down know that if they make a certain choice you will regret it then you will try to control what they think whether or not you intend to. You have to let it go, completely. Love, acceptance and confrontation; teach the kids that you and your wife each have voices and so do they and how to use them, primarily by demonstrating it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T11:52:08.107" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18442" CreationDate="2015-01-26T15:51:21.787" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ultimately you're facing a very common issue that will recur many times throughout your daughter's life: convincing her she wants to do something instead of play.  Potty, eat dinner, go to bed, brush teeth, whatever: playing is way more fun than any of these things, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With potty is the additional factor that you can't really tell her when it's time to potty.  You can introduce artificial times, but ultimately you're in a better place when she realizes she needs to go and does.  If she's clearly too young to realize this, then she's probably not truly ready to potty train, and you need to decide if it's time to go back to pull-ups for a while or stick with it through this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think external motivations are really likely to work here, unless you're effectively back in early potty training.  We didn't find external motivations to be useful for choosing to go when our son needed to go, either: they were useful for getting him to be comfortable going, and realizing he &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; go, particularly with poop.  Actually realizing he needed to go independently took him wanting to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What did work when he occasionally had problems: expecting him to be responsible for helping to clean up when he had an accident.  We treated this in exactly the way we treat him spilling - intentionally or accidentally - his drink or his cereal milk or what have you.  We don't blame him, we don't shame him, we just ask him to go get a towel and clean it up; and if it's clearly too big to fix (like a whole gallon of milk or something like that), we help contain it, but we expect him to do a significant chunk of the work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, for potty accidents, it depended on the kind of accident.  Pee accidents he goes into the bathroom, tries to go to make sure it's all gone, then changes his underwear and pants (and shirt or socks if needed) and puts them in the hamper (We kept one near the living room for this purpose).  Then he gets a towel and cleans up anything on the floor.  This didn't always work perfectly; he often was pretty upset at the accident, even though we were very careful never to blame him or shame him - we treated it just like I would treat my wife if she dropped a glass of water on the floor.  We helped him if he needed help, but only enough to get him back on track.  Poop accidents (which were a bigger problem for us as he had a hard time with poop for a few weeks) he got a bit more help as we wanted to wash out the underwear, but he still had to cooperate with helping and he had to get his replacement clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This helped us both because it reduced the amount of work we needed to do - which reduced the stress on us - as well as making him responsible for his own actions.  That led to him choosing to go to the bathroom more frequently, which at this point (4 months later) has meant we have nearly no accidents.  And if he chooses to occasionally not pay attention to his bladder, well, he knows what to do to fix it - and usually doesn't even need to involve us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T15:51:21.787" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4043" CreationDate="2015-01-26T15:59:39.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try putting your hand on her shoulder, it sounds like a small thing, but it can diffuse any anger that she has, and makes it clear to both you and her that you're on the same side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of being angry she'll feel supported.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also if you're getting nowhere, just take a break and do something she enjoys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't the full answer, but it's helped me a lot with my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9185" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T15:59:39.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18451" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-26T20:16:30.407" Score="9" ViewCount="4775" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old just started first grade, but to our surprise he was assigned to a different class from his former (from last year) classmates. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ones that did not transfer schools at least, but he is all alone (aka knows no one yet) in the new classroom, while all of his friends are in the next room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am negotiating with the school to switch him into the other class, but the chances are slim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the scenario where the school do not switch him, what steps can I take to handle this split?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the pros and cons of being split from former classmates, and what can be done to maximize the first and minimize the second?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9819" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-20T14:26:32.013" LastActivityDate="2019-07-20T14:26:32.013" Title="How to handle separation from former classmates at the start of a new term, when your child was the only one in a different class?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|friends|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18452" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-26T20:32:23.713" Score="1" ViewCount="259" Body="&lt;p&gt;My cousin's 8-year-old son seems to be one of the worst kids I know. We have tried so many different angles of punishment and tried to compromise...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First to start with, he likes to get into things. Not just any thing though. He gets into the food so much to where we have limited supplies. We have the pantry and refrigerator locked. He also likes to get into things in my bedroom. He gets into my collectibles and my fiancée's collectibles and destroys them. He even somehow got into the safe with our adult toys in them! He finds lighters around the house and sets things that are other people's on fire. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worst of all, every time he does any of these things, he blames them on his sister or my 2-year-old. Usually it's something they can't do alone or at all, and most of the time he tells us different stories when we try to talk to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is so difficult to be able to teach him to be good. He's getting worse by the day to the point where we don't know what else to do except boys' school. I have looked everywhere for answers, options, solutions, and still have found no help. We love him and don't want to lose him, but don't know what else to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13418" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-02T14:34:49.710" LastActivityDate="2018-12-02T14:34:49.710" Title="What can we do to get my cousin's 8-year-old to behave, instead of destroying things and blaming others?" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|extended-family|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-26T22:44:16.230" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you are obviously concerned about your daughter the first thing you need to do before deciding any actions to take is find out a little more about the boy.  This might be tricky because if she feels you violated her privacy in any way you will be very unlikely to get any cooperation, same for if she feels you are pressing her too hard.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to her about it in a casual setting and get her to tell you the information you already know then use it as a starting point to find out what you need to know.  If she is anything like my younger sisters were at that age then joking about 'cute boys' could be enough to get a smile or a blush out of her and that can be you &quot;in&quot; to ask more.  However she acts it should not be too difficult to trigger a response that will give away her feeling, but make sure the conversation stays friendly and does not turn into an interrogation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The types of things that would be the most concerning would be an unusual age difference or strange method of meeting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the boy is another 10 year old who is in one of her(or her friends) classes then the risk of her getting hurt is very low.  Your best course of action is probably to do nothing, just make sure she knows your open to talk about it in case it becomes too much emotionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the boy is a little older and goes to the same school then it would be a good idea to talk about what is appropriate.  Can they hang out on school grounds without other friends?  Can they hold hands/hug/kiss?  There is probably still a low risk factor here and your direct intervention would likely hurt your relationship, take this opportunity to make sure she knows some things are/aren't okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the boy is considerably older or goes to a different school then some level of involvement is probably prudent.  Just be sure if this is the case that your daughter knows that you are only getting involved because it is inappropriate and you are concerned about her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T22:44:16.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18373" CreationDate="2015-01-26T23:08:26.623" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The handwriting is poor because he doesn't care about who will read it. At home, he writes well because he care's about your approval, but he probably hates being nagged about it. At school, he doesn't expect his work to be important to anyone, which is not surprising, and he gets nagged less, so he takes the &quot;break&quot; when he can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you don't worry about it for a bit, and try this experiment: Give him an assignment to write about something he really cares about. If he likes stories, write a story, if you likes games, have him write a guide to playing his favorite game, and tell him he will need to show his work to two friends to get feedback to incorporate in a final version. You must promise him that you will not bother him about his handwriting on this assignment or any other, if he completes this assignment. Ignore the final copy, but compare the handwriting on the one he showed his friends to his usual work, and see if there's a difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the special assignment does show better results, then the problem is that the assignments are not sufficiently motivating or sufficiently social. You might suggest the teach use peer review of regular assignments, and save themself some grading time too. Or you might just tell you son that you won't bother about his assignments in general, as long as he is consistently doing well in his assignments for the subject he cares about most. This will reinforce that education is for his benefit, encourage him to focus on the subjects that engage his interest already, and ensure that he is still getting some good handwriting practice as part of his overall curriculum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13424" LastActivityDate="2015-01-26T23:08:26.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18452" CreationDate="2015-01-26T23:57:12.387" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son is &quot;explosive&quot;, if I try to &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; listen to him (which mean I don't speak), it really makes a difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try to listen to his &quot;why&quot;. He (and perhaps you as well) might be surprised. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Active listening = no yes/no question, silence, reformulation to make sure you get what he meant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next time he mishaves, you could first take a big breath to relax and look at him. Why did he do that ? What actually happened in his head ? When you're ready and really want to know, sit. To be at the same level. And observe what he did, without judgements. You can point out the consequences. Making eye contact is important and you can also touch his arm to get his attention. &quot;The stuff that was in my closed are spread in the floor. Now they are dirty.&quot; (pause). (Look at him deeply, don't yell or shout but be firm).  Ask very gently (you have to understand his purpose) &quot;what happened ?&quot;. If he express resent or bad feelings, put your efforts on staying calm and helping him naming his feelings &quot;You were very upset&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reference : &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/53578.Adele_Faber&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Adele Faber books&lt;/a&gt;, such as &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;How to Talk So Kids Will Listen &amp;amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk&quot;, which&#xA;is full of very concrete day by day examples. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family&quot; looks more like a novel.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13419" LastEditorUserId="13419" LastEditDate="2015-01-27T21:25:14.600" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T21:25:14.600" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8792" CreationDate="2015-01-27T05:48:36.340" Score="9" Body="&lt;h2&gt;It's possible to not adhere to someone else's beliefs without undermining those beliefs&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a concept that took me some years into my adulthood to really understand. In my youth, I was fervently anti-theistic agnostic. Then I spent time as a very devoted member of an almost fundamentalist sect of Christianity. Now, I've comfortably settled into a comfortable ambivalent atheism. It's only been in this latter stage where I've realized how to disagree with someone else's beliefs without trying to tear them down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping a respectful, accepting tone when speaking of other belief systems is of tantamount importance. You don't want to be condescending, incredulous, or even skeptical in your tone. Likewise, when talking about your own beliefs you don't want to sound superior, cocky, or aggressive. Using non-neutral tones is divisive, and may actually make actually be counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;It's possible to participate in religious activities as an atheist without being a hypocrite&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If people are praying, you can participate by being present and being silent while everyone else is doing the prayer. In this way, you're respecting their beliefs without disrespecting your own. If asked to pray, you can politely decline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your children need to study religious material, you can help them study it. What you're doing is spending quality time with your child that's also educational. Some schools teach about Greek myths (or other myths) or other religions (Judaism and Islam), but I doubt you'd feel hypocritical helping them study those materials. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping your child learn something that is important to them, and doesn't teach them values you find abhorrent, is something you should strive for regardless of the religiosity of the material. At this point in time, they may be putting what they're studying into practice, but you'll need to mentally separate helping your child learn and be successful from &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; they're learning and &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; they're being successful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;It's the responsibility of the parents to ensure their children are receiving well-rounded education&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you hope that the school will teach critical thinking skills, and maybe some level of skepticism, it's ultimately your responsibility to do that. If you want your children to be aware of other belief systems, including non-religions, then you'll have to teach about them. The best way to do this, of course, is by being educated about the different belief systems yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your children ask questions that may have a religious answer, you can answer with a variety of options. For example:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;What happens when we die?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &quot;Well, Catholics and some other religions believe you may go to Heaven. But, some religions think you may come back to Earth as someone else. And some people don't think anything happens at all.&quot;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted, these are simplified versions of complex beliefs on the matter, but they'd do well to answer a child's question and maybe inspire some curiosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It'd be up to you as to whether or not you'd wanted to introduce more structured teaching about other religions. Personally, I think answering applicable questions with two or more beliefs is an adequate way to handle this. Your child learns there are other beliefs, and can dig deeper into them if they desire. If you're presenting all alternatives with the same accepting tone, then your child will pick up on the fact that it's okay to have those other beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;You should be honest with your children&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point, I think it'll be best if you have a family meeting and explain mom's and dad's beliefs, and how they're different. There's no reason for your children to know only your wife's beliefs. If you're made to be uncomfortable sharing what you think, then the relationship is not equal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The meeting could go something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask the children if they know how there's different types of Christianity besides Catholicism. Like Protestants or Baptists. If not, teach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then ask if know that there's other religions besides Christianity. Like Judaism, Islam, or Hinduism. If not, teach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then ask if they know that some people don't have any religion. Like Agnosticism or Atheism. If not, teach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then talk to them about how Mom is Catholic, and Dad is Atheist (or Agnostic). Avoid the phrase &quot;Mom is Catholic, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;but&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; Dad is Atheist&quot;. Try to phrase it a way that is completely neutral&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask if they have any questions for you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let them know they can always ask you (both) questions about these things&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Assure them that even though Dad isn't Catholic, he'll still support them in their Catholic activities&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Assure them that even though Mom isn't Atheist, she'll still support them if they choose non-Catholic activities&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Assure them that if they ever want to learn about a religion that isn't Mom or Dad's, then you'll both support them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The parents need to be on the same page&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll obviously need your wife's full support for this meeting to happen. She has to be willing to allow you to share your beliefs, but also agree to abide by the idea of supporting the children if they choose not to continue in Catholic beliefs in the future. Please note, I'm not talking about school. Children can get a fine education at a Catholic school without necessarily taking Catholicism to heart. There's no real reason that changing schools needs to even be discussed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also have to agree on the &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; of this meeting. It shouldn't be held off for any reason, but it's not immediately pressing. Ideally, your children would have reach their current ages already knowing this stuff. (Ideally to me, that is.) However, if you're worried this may affect your son's commitment to his First Communion, then it may be best to wait until after that. Not because that belief is more important than yours, but your son's mental health is more important than your beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, you'll have to agree to answer questions in a way that takes into account both parents. You'll need to try and answer the relevant questions the way your wife would and the way you would. She should also be trying to answer such questions for herself and for you. This way, you're presenting yourself to your children as a team that understands one another and works in unity, even if not together. If one of you isn't quite sure how to answer in a way the other parent would, then it'd be a great time to say, &quot;I'm not sure what your [other parent] would say, so you should ask them.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T05:48:36.340" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18459" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-27T11:11:22.050" Score="6" ViewCount="437" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20070614/can-pregnancy-loss-be-good&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Can Pregnancy Weight Loss Be Good?&lt;/a&gt;, I stumble across&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;We know that exercise in pregnancy is safe for everybody,&quot; Artal says. &quot;When we talk exercise, we talk about just walking -- a safe form of exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The quote above states that walking is safe, which could be interpreted as &quot;only walking is safe during pregnancy.&quot;, but it's entirely clear if that's the intention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point in a pregnancy, it probably gets uncomfortable for both mother and child to do jumping jacks or crunches, but other exercises, say pull ups or squats, are less obviously problematic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'm wondering if there are more specific guidelines regarding what exercise one should, or should not perform, during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4682" LastEditorUserId="4682" LastEditDate="2015-01-27T11:17:11.990" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T12:55:37.493" Title="What level/type of exercise is safe during pregnancy?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18451" CreationDate="2015-01-27T11:22:38.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't worry, most kids at that age make new friends very easily. He will blend in within a few weeks. If needed, encourage him to seek contact with other classmates that are &quot;new&quot; and did not know any other kids the first day of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11938" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T11:22:38.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18459" CreationDate="2015-01-27T13:00:28.633" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with any medical issue, first follow the guidance of your physician (in this case, also include your obstetrician).  However, let's assume that you've already done this and gotten the all-clear from the docs.  In that case, most exercises are safe to do for a large part of pregnancy; the big thing is to listen to your body.  Your balance will be affected as the baby grows, and you should be very aware of dehydration and make sure you drink plenty of water.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I ran during both my full-term pregnancies, but had to quit at 4 months with my son after placenta previa was diagnosed. I also did regular weights and yoga (my local gym had a yoga class especially for moms, moms-to-be and babies).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good thing is, exercise during pregnancy will help keep you sane (it kept the first trimester progesterone poisoning at bay for me) and hopefully make birth and recovery easier.  Exercise has benefits for the baby, too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've linked a few articles that should give you some more data, as well as some points to discuss with your docs.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/pregnancy-and-exercise/art-20046896&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic: Pregnancy and Exercise&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/exercise-during-pregnancy&quot;&gt;WebMD: Exercise During Pregnancy&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_center/staying_fit/exercising_pregnancy.html&quot;&gt;Exercising During Pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fitpregnancy.com/exercise/prenatal-workouts/33-reasons-exercise-now&quot;&gt;Fit Pregnancy:  33 Reasons to Exercise During Pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T13:00:28.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2015-01-27T13:01:30.573" Score="13" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What I can't seem to get across is that while she has the right to&#xA;  express herself she needs to care about how she looks and dress&#xA;  appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're basically saying that she has the right to express herself, as long as you explicitly agree with how she expresses herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's worse than simply saying that she doesn't have the right to express herself, because now you're acting like you're being open-minded parents, when really you're still just making rules about what she's allowed to wear and are enforcing them through shaming her in front of her peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there's been plenty of good answers given already, so I'd just like to add the above and a little part from experience: my (now) wife left her parent's home the day of her 18th birthday and then needed &lt;em&gt;years&lt;/em&gt; to rebuild a relationship with her parents (mostly her mum) because of things like this. Parents enforcing rules with shaming is a recipe for disaster, and it's not going to help her in life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter will mostly learn to resent you and as soon she's out of your zone of control she's &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; going to do what she wants. Except by then she won't have any parents to fall back on once she does something that actually starts going out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T13:01:30.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18419" CreationDate="2015-01-27T13:09:42.207" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This doesn't seem to far off. Also keep in mind: there is more communication than verbal. Does your child use signs? Or body language? Can you understand what he is trying to communicate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, maybe he just prefers these methods over using words. My daughter between two and three was also not speaking much, but everyone commented on how easy it was to understand what she wanted because she was very good at using signs to communicate things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's three and a half by now, and she's talking without too much trouble now. As long as they understand communicating, they'll learn speech when they're ready for it. Not everyone enjoys talking, and kids might be just the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T13:09:42.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-01-27T14:56:26.613" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She is only 10 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There is nothing &quot;only&quot; about being 10.&lt;/strong&gt; It wasn't when we were that age, and it certainly isn't today when kids get into &quot;that age&quot; sooner than they ever did. Besides, &quot;10&quot; is just a number anyway -- my own girl, at 10, is basically at the same stage physically that her mother was at the age of 14, and that is not extraordinary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do I discipline her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Not at all.&lt;/strong&gt; There is nothing in your question indicating that your daughter did anything wrong, unless you forbade her to &quot;fall in love&quot;. If you did &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt;... well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to handle the situation?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By now you should already have taught your kid certain things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She should know that she can &lt;strong&gt;trust&lt;/strong&gt; you (*), and come to you for advise, counsel, or comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should already have taught her that &lt;strong&gt;her body is her own&lt;/strong&gt;, and how to say &lt;strong&gt;&quot;no&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;. If you think about it for a minute, that implies that her body is her own, and that she might say &quot;yes&quot; as well, to that first holding of hands, the first kiss, the first touching. &lt;strong&gt;Those moments that she will remember for the rest of her life.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you did things right, the first kiss and the first touching and the first time will hopefully happen close by, so you can rest assured that she said &quot;yes&quot; &lt;strong&gt;in familiar surroundings&lt;/strong&gt; instead of hiding away from your wrath at some uncomfortable place and having her &quot;no&quot; ignored where no-one might hear her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure she is aware of certain possibilities (heartbreak, conception, ...), and if you feel that way, tell her that &lt;strong&gt;you think&lt;/strong&gt; she is to young for certain... activities. And be aware that forbidding them outright will just make her trust you less, and make the forbidden fruit all the sweeter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Trust her in the same way you want her to trust you.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(*): She &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; trust you with basically everything, can she? If she cannot, because of a track record of not respecting her, her choices, and her privacy, then you have already lost this one years ago, and there is very little you can do to &quot;impose your will&quot; on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the contrary, any &quot;show of force&quot; will just make her situation more difficult, because you would be showing her that she &lt;em&gt;cannot&lt;/em&gt; come to you, not now and not later when she might &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; need you. She will either defy you (with all the possible negative consequences), or be heartbroken and blaming you for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10080" LastEditorUserId="10080" LastEditDate="2015-01-27T15:41:27.730" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T15:41:27.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18452" CreationDate="2015-01-27T17:14:49.077" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to studies, kids aren't inherently naughty. Something's going on. Children don't like being told off -- check out resources like &lt;a href=&quot;http://traumarecoveryblog.com/2013/03/15/the-brainstem-survival/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this TRC blog&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;written by one of the national authorities in child trauma in the UK; it makes a lot of sense. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child needs to be listened to, affirmed, and cherished.  However it sounds like he has complex needs and issues and I think such diagnoses are well out of the scope of Parenting.SE. All I know is that I've known so many stories of people who've been through the TRC and completely changed. The child needs help, he doesn't have ADHD, he doesn't need medicating away; something's going on or happened in the past. I hope it goes well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-01-27T18:17:30.890" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T18:17:30.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18466" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-27T17:40:04.363" Score="4" ViewCount="5898" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother was diagnosed with OCD about two years ago and is following treatment.&#xA;He lives with our parents (we're both 20-ish years old, but I moved out years ago). He has some conspicuous compulsions that are obviously interfering with his daily life, such as needing to perform some repetitive actions when moving from one room to another or when leaving the house or coming in. So, he gets a lot of help from our parents (fetch me that, bring me that, that kind of stuff).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also adds difficulty when performing some mundane activities, such as dressing and brushing teeth. He also doesn't do any chores or help out our parents.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a social life, as he doesn't show a lot of conspicuous signs of OCD when he is outside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His doctor recommended therapy, but he doesn't want to do it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sup&gt;He had one session but the therapist said he has to want to go of his own initiative and not go because other people told him to.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also spends a lot of time on the computer (mostly games) and has few hobbies or interests that could potentially turn into a career later on. He is in college right now, but he doesn't seem to have a genuine interest in it and is just getting passing grades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to tell my parents to stop offering so much help (fetching things) because as far as I can tell that is enabling his compulsions, but I can't do much except offer my parents advice, as I live in a different city.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What can my parents do to help motivate him to better himself, both in regard to working to treat his OCD and also to become a more productive/generally better person?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for answers from anyone who has had any experience with OCD, but any advice is welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; What I was hoping to get out of this question were some actual examples of &lt;em&gt;ways my parents could change their interaction with my brother&lt;/em&gt; in order to help him. One example I can think of is how I advised them to stop fetching water/food/whatever, to motivate him to get up and move through the house (i.e. to stop enabling his compulsions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13439" LastEditorUserId="13439" LastEditDate="2015-02-01T12:30:32.713" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:00:23.823" Title="How can parents help an adult child with OCD?" Tags="|behavior|development|parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18423" CreationDate="2015-01-27T17:44:02.660" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's reasonable to ask ourselves whether we're setting up something to be repeated rather than just getting past an obstacle, but remember there's also the good associations we may be making. You don't want this to be the only way she'll eat, but on the other hand you don't want to set up the main course as something she only gives lip service too long enough to get to desert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you're setting her up to think meal time means airplane spoon time you're also setting her up to think that meal time means eating most of the main course. The lessons we want or fear our kids taking from things aren't always what they absorb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to take an approach where I incorporate some sort of independence when I help. Can you get her to sometimes hold the spoon herself as you make airplane noises, for example? When my 2y/o is tending to fall back on grabbing food instead of using the spoon I will put some things on the spoon for him, still leaving it to him to pick it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T17:44:02.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18452" CreationDate="2015-01-27T18:52:48.893" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that, first off, it is hard to say exactly what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can do given this is not your child, and presumably you do not have final authority on how he is raised.  Any solution must be implemented and approved by his parent first and foremost; even if you watch him alone for significant amounts of time, if at-home his parents don't have the same approach, it won't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, it sounds like you have several separate issues here.  One is that he is finding things to do.  Does he have enough to do?  At eight, and particularly as a curious eight year old, he probably should be spending most of his time outside (at least in the spring/summer/fall months), and if inside should have a great deal of things to play with and interact with.  Some kids (like myself) are book-centric; give me a dozen books and I'd be good for a week at that age.  But some kids are not: they need physical and visual stimulation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you have a lot of things for him to play with, but you don't have enough things that are appropriate for his preferences.  You have trains and cars, but he likes dinosaurs and army men - or the reverse.  Maybe he likes building things - or destroying built things; there are toys for both.  Talk to him, find out what he likes doing, and make sure he has sufficient space and equipment to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's interested in fire and burning things, you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; satiate that as well.  Teach him to cook.  Get him a chemistry set.  Sounds like he's into lockpicking and safecracking; there are some fun books on the subject (both doing it, and mystery/detective/thriller novels about it).  Maybe cryptography- I liked that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, there are clearly issues with boundaries and personal space.  First off, make sure your collectibles are sufficiently secure that he can't easily get into them.  Lock your door.  Second, have a conversation with him about what his boundaries are.  Talk to him about where he can and can't go, and why.  My three year old son largely understands why he can't go in the basement alone, and &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; tries to - even when he's at his most misbehaving wild and crazy stage, which he definitely has.  The only time he'd ever do it is to get my attention, he might go down one stair and laugh and tell me he's going - but he'd never go on his own.  He knows why he can't (it's unfinished).  He buys into his own safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand here, though, does the boy have his own space?  Does he have areas that are safely his own?  A common issue with being at someone else's house is not having a room to go to - even as an adult this is a problem with me when I'm staying at another's house; I feel uncomfortable.  As an adult that manifests as irritation and avoidance of others from time to time; as an eight year old I could see it manifesting differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, how do you handle the situation when he does misbehave and does something unsafe or damaging?  You either need a consistent and logical punishment, or (what I favor) natural consequences and helping him understand that he hurt you and how you feel, to encourage him to not do it on his own.  By natural consequences I mean, if he breaks something, he has to clean it up and replace it.  Don't yell at him, don't lock him in his room; make him fix the problem, and then consider it done.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget that telling a child he's naughty is a self fulfilling prophecy: a child who believes he's bad will act bad, because he thinks that's how he &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; act.  This is &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; hard to avoid - my three year old, who we largely raise without any sort of punishments (based on natural consequences and very limited time outs when truly necessary, largely), &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; remembers the one time I told him he was acting wild, and tells me that he's wild fairly frequently.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, the point of all of this: your nephew (or whatever you call the relationship... technically first cousin once removed I guess) is a human being, and you should treat him like one.  Find out why he's acting this way by &lt;em&gt;asking him&lt;/em&gt;, and solve the problem.  This might not be easy - he probably doesn't entirely know why he is acting out - but go in with an analytic approach.  Find out what his problems are, find out what he would be happy doing while he's over at your house (if outside is out of the question - and I'd really strongly suggest finding a way for it to be possible), and enable him to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T18:52:48.893" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16319" CreationDate="2015-01-27T19:12:12.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also recommend 123 Magic. If your son is not listening or following directions just count him. Say &quot;that's 1&quot;. You wait to see how he responds. Don't say anything else. If he stops fine if he continues the same behavior, you count him on 2. At 3 he receives a time out or punishment. Do not let your emotions get to you and do not hit your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13441" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-27T19:32:01.240" LastActivityDate="2015-01-27T19:32:01.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18470" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18471" CreationDate="2015-01-27T23:27:25.167" Score="61" ViewCount="82016" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a young teenager, younger than 16. (I do not want to give my age online)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad told me he wants a divorce, but I don't want my parents divorced. My dad says he can't stand my mom anymore.  My dad is older than 45 and my mom is older than 40.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it happens, I would choose to stay with my mom. My dad can cook and drive, but my mom can't. There's a school bus in high school though.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to prevent this divorce?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="anon" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T19:42:49.997" LastActivityDate="2016-12-27T19:30:41.710" Title="How can I prevent my parents' divorce?" Tags="|teen|divorce|" AnswerCount="18" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-28T00:16:06.523" Score="98" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry to hear about your parents.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do.  And, whether it helps or not, there was nothing you &lt;em&gt;could have&lt;/em&gt; done.  This is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; your fault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't be angry at your parents.  The situation they will be putting you in is not fair; no doubt about it.  But, for your parents, it takes a lot to recognize that the relationship they started in isn't the one they currently find themselves in.  And, honestly, living the lie of a relationship may be more destructive than breaking it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Divorce is a messy business, and it impact everyone, especially the kids.  You have friends &lt;em&gt;here&lt;/em&gt; to help you get through it.  The people here have been the parents.  Many of them were the kids, like you.  Sometimes, they saw their own friends go through it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My closing thoughts, though they may not be the most comforting, are that, while you may not be able to stop your parents' divorce, you play a big role in the relationship with your parents after the fact.  Resentment and hate do not help.  Recognize that your parents are still your parents, and they still love you, even if they don't love each other.  Believe it or not, they are people too: people who have their own worries, fears, and insecurities.  Try to extend to them all the understanding you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11389" LastActivityDate="2015-01-28T00:16:06.523" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-28T01:43:14.120" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your dad told you he wants a divorce, but did he say he is actually filing for one? Your mom may not know at all yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone's story is different, and actively trying to do something about it might be the very thing that guarantees it happens. So first things first, try to remain calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, let me tell you a little about what I know as a parent. It might give some insight on what they're going through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are very few things that ever happen in one's life that causes so much chaos as having kids. Even when the horror is at its highest, you still love them. Even people I know who are what I would call less than ideal parents say the same. Like Nick said, it's not your fault. You might be the only thing keeping them together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But as a parent, every little thing makes every day a thousand times harder. You think keeping your room clean is hard? Try working all day every day and cleaning up after everyone, cooking every meal, undoing the damage caused by kids during the day, diapers, bills, and everything else that relentlessly pummels you - all while never being thanked for it, or even being treated like everyone expects you to be the only one doing everything. When the force is hard enough, even something as simple as not closing a pantry door can drive you to resent the people you love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say it harshly like that because it happens to even the kindest and most positive people. When I feel the anger coming, it feels like it is attacking me. Somewhere inside I know that I am not really upset just because a door was left open, but that it seems like nobody appreciates anything I do anymore, and that my whole existence is simply for the purpose of perpetuating other people's comforts while my own interests, hobbies, and happiness fade away. I don't let it get me. I laugh now, thinking how silly so many of the worst things really are. It is possible this is how your dad feels, but it is possible he has not yet learned how to let go of the resentment and try to remember that your mom may also be his friend. A good friend would want their friends to be happy. In some cases it means enduring. In some cases it means changing the definition of their friendship. In some cases it means leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't say for a fact that your parents can get along anymore. We don't know why your dad says he can't stand your mom. But supposing it was possible for them to forget the tension, it might be good to remember the things they used to love doing and why they loved doing them. I would not suggest you try to arrange this, by the way. I am not a professional by any means. But passive inception and being positive could trigger something that gets them to focus on what they loved about being together, and possibly think less about whatever the fantasy of being apart is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So much of the pressures of being a parent faded for me when I realized the only thing oppressing me was me, not my family. They all have the same amount of chaos attacking them, so instead of getting angry, I just understand that sometimes they need a break. Sometimes they need to sleep half the day away. And sometimes they just need to leave a pantry door open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, everyone is human. Everyone deals with their issues in their own way. There's no universal answer that can correct their marriage. But statistically speaking, getting angry about it or behaving irrationally will not help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty sure you don't want your family structure to change, but have you thought about why? What is it exactly that you fear most about your parents getting divorced?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-01-28T01:43:14.120" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18476" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18560" CreationDate="2015-01-28T15:02:09.183" Score="10" ViewCount="5725" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old is struggling to concentrate for more than a brief period of time and is falling behind the other kids in her kindergarten class. When she does concentrate for a few minutes, she's able to quickly grasp and complete tasks appropriate for her level (e.g. easy math or counting) but after a few minutes loses focus and I'm unable to get her attention back onto the subject. By comparison, others in her class don't appear to suffer from this and her 3-year-old brother is able to stay focused for much longer periods of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not just school work but any activity. If I'm playing soccer with the 3-year-old and the 5-year-old then after a short while the 5-year-old will lose interest and wander off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I've tried so far:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One-on-one engagement on each subject.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Games that improve the skill we're focusing on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Addressing the problem directly with her and asking her to try and focus (she doesn't like talking about it and will avoid/ignore the conversation).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any tricks or techniques to keep her on-task or to bring her focus back to the task-at-hand?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1337" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-25T13:28:13.503" LastActivityDate="2019-03-25T13:28:13.503" Title="How to make my 5-year-old focus on the task-at-hand?" Tags="|primary-schooler|attention|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-28T15:17:24.803" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend showing your Dad &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/lesson2.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Can unhappy marriages become happy again? How?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; (which is the second chapter of a &lt;a href=&quot;http://divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/ShouldIKeepTryingtoWorkItOut.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;book&lt;/a&gt;). Here's a short excerpt:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Some may be surprised to learn that many unhappy marriages recover. As one &#xA;  respected marriage therapist and researcher, Dr. William J. Doherty at the University of Minnesota, noted, marriages are not like fruit. When fruit gets bruised or rotten, it doesn’t improve with time; you just have to toss it out. Marriages, however, often do improve over time. In a recent study,&lt;sup&gt;12&lt;/sup&gt; married Utahns were asked if they ever thought their marriage was in trouble. Nearly half (47%) said “yes.” (Utahns were even more likely than Americans in general to report this.) Nearly one in three (29%) married Utahns said that at some time they thought their marriage was in trouble and had thought about &#xA;  divorce. About one in ten (11%) said they had talked to their spouse about a divorce in the last three years. Nationally, about one in seven (13%) married individuals say that they have seriously thought about divorcing their spouse recently.&lt;sup&gt;13&lt;/sup&gt; But more than 94% of married individuals—both men and women—who said that their marriage at some point &#xA;  was in trouble said they were glad they were still together.&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that you may want to talk to your dad about is his marriage vows. See if you can find a respectful way to remind him that he promised &quot;…for better or for worse…&quot; and his current situation is the &quot;…for worse…&quot; that the vow was talking about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all, remember that this situation is not your fault, and you cannot control the actions of your parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hawkins, Alan J., and Tamara A. Fackrell. &lt;em&gt;Should I Keep Trying to Work It Out?: A Guidebook for Individuals and Couples at the Crossroads of Divorce (and Before).&lt;/em&gt; Salt Lake City, Utah: Produced on Behalf of the Utah Commission on Marriage, 2009. 9-10. Print.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13449" LastEditorUserId="13504" LastEditDate="2015-02-01T02:31:00.270" LastActivityDate="2015-02-01T02:31:00.270" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-28T18:45:33.980" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry your father burdened you with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What can I do to prevent this divorce?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly?  You could try to guilt them into staying together. You could try to act as a marriage counselor. You could do a number of things that might help you reach your goal of preventing a divorce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's really not up to you.  At best you can be one of the many factors that plays into this decision.  Keep in mind, though, that by bringing it to the attention of your mother, or trying to get them to confront the possibility may actually spur them into action and actually divorce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The statement, &quot;My dad told me he wants a divorce&quot; doesn't suggest that he's taken steps to start the divorce process. He may have, and maybe he's just trying to prepare you for the outcome, but at this point you might want to consider that people say things they desire but may not be willing to act on in reality. So if you do decide you want to involve yourself further, keep in mind that your actions might not have the positive effect you hope for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are to stay together, though, they must both &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to stay together. This means an active commitment on each part to stay together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of resources on how to rekindle love and romance.  They are usually written for the people trying to rekindle their romance, but some of them have a few ideas you can use, such as helping them remember how they felt early in their romance.  You might be able to ask questions about how they met, what attracted them initially and what kept them coming back together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just be aware that while you are certainly an important part of their life, family, and relationship, they have to make a decision that is ultimately between the two of them. You might want to instead spend some time strengthening your own relationship with each of them individually and together, so that regardless of what happens in the future, you've secured yourself to your parents. &quot;I'm not going to pick sides.  I love both of you, and I don't want to hear you talking bad about each other.&quot; Might be something you'll find yourself saying as they work things out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-01-28T18:45:33.980" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-28T20:38:33.663" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask your parents to get help for their marriage. Try to find an organization like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.agme.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;agme.org&lt;/a&gt; that helps marriages that are in trouble. Encourage them to give it a try. Talk to someone that both parents respect and will listen to - your church pastor, respected family member etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel badly for you - be sure to lean on God at this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also try: Go to Focus on the Family's website and ask to speak with a counselor. They are very experienced and can help you. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.focusonthefamily.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.focusonthefamily.com/&lt;/a&gt; (1-800-232-6459) (M-F: 6 a.m. – 8 p.m. MST).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13456" LastEditorUserId="13456" LastEditDate="2015-02-08T18:37:57.963" LastActivityDate="2015-02-08T18:37:57.963" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-28T21:08:56.287" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok here are some important considerations/context we don't know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; your dad wants a divorce (or just a separation, or your mother to change something).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;whether your mom also wants a divorce, or is unhappy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;whether your dad has discussed any of this with your mother (if not, obviously he should - do not become his confidant or messenger)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;whether it's an issue of compatibility, honesty, sexuality, fidelity, communication, finances...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in your eyes, how good/bad is each of their behavior to each other and you? Is there something to salvage or not? (Remember, it's up to them to do the heavy lifting, not you)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;are they capable of communicating to each other to resolve this&lt;/strong&gt; (one way or the other)? Would they benefit IYO from talking to a psychologist/ marital counselor or divorce mediator (divorce mediator is a different thing to the former) or trusted friend/ family member/ pastor/ whatever? Do they listen to each other? Respectfully? Do they speak to each other? in a constructive way? Do they apologize (when warranted)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;unless your mother is mentally ill, abusive, violent or dishonest (or even if), &lt;strong&gt;your dad should be able to articulate to her a list of why he's unhappy and what needs to change. And her to him. They need to set up that conversation, not you. And pronto. Avoiding or delaying that is poisonous.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Re whether and how to choose a counselor etc.: encourage them to go see several. Jointly. Some are great, many are incompetent, some just feed off a bad situation and make things worse.&#xA;A good counselor should be able to communicate in both of their styles and genuinely help them surface and articulate what's bad about the relationship, in an impartial constructive respectful way. Believe it or not this is a rare skillset. They might well need to talk to at least half a dozen. Encourage each of them to identify a few counselors, or get a list from referrals/ Yellow Pages/ Yelp/ your medical insurance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;also encourage them to (jointly) have an initial consultation with a divorce mediator, at least to explore that scenario (including civilized arrangements about custody) before one of them gets litigious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if one(/both) of them is having an affair or has lost interest in the other, this triggers very strong emotions; but looking for vengeance or running to litigious divorce lawyers does not help; it just drains the marital assets.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some caveats:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;don't triangulate between them&lt;/strong&gt;. Don't become the middleman/ messenger/ interpreter/ referee/ confidant/ hostage negotiator/ support group/ sobriety counselor (read about the common patterns)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;they should be talking to each other&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if they want to be silent, or passive-aggressive, or whatever nonsense, don't get roped into that game. And let them know that violence and abusive behavior are crossing the line.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;don't stand for either of them criticizing each other to you&lt;/strong&gt;, or to other people, or holding events or family gatherings hostage. Let them know you'll walk out/hang up on that stuff, it's not healthy for any of you, it's not constructive. If they split up, it's up to each of them to deal with feelings of grief/loss/hurt/shame/betrayal, make new friendships, move on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if they're simply unable to get along with each other under one roof, they could temporarily separate. They can flip a coin if they disagree about who should leave.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What can I do to prevent this divorce?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ultimately, you can't control the situation&lt;/strong&gt; (and even if you could you totally shouldn't - they married each other, it's up to them to take responsibility). &lt;strong&gt;Accepting that is the first hard emotional reality for you.&lt;/strong&gt; I feel for you.&#xA;Whatever happens now depends on them. You also need to take care of yourself. Don't let their marital outcome consume your life. &lt;strong&gt;Don't consider the outcome a verdict on how much each of them loves you.&lt;/strong&gt; This is painful. Consider it will affect you a lot. Read about this. Don't let your schoolwork slip. Keep up your outside interests. Know who your friends are. Don't abuse substances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they ultimately do divorce, you have some input into custody. Don't let this decision become a tug-of-love, or alimony battle. If both of them are behaving badly, frankly you don't need to live with either of them, do you have other family or friends? (Also look into the concept of 'emancipated minor' in your state/country. Don't let yourself be used as a hostage in a custody/alimony battle).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If it happens, I would chose to stay with my mom. My dad can cook and drive, but my mom can't. There's a school bus in high school though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are only practical considerations. You can (and should) learn to cook; you can drive/ arrange a ride/ cycle/ use the bus. &lt;strong&gt;But there are way more fundamental issues here they need to resolve first. Only then can all three of you collectively figure out civilized living arrangements.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To an extent, you can try to help and encourage them towards figuring out how to resolve it for themselves. But you can't determine the outcome. And don't let your self-worth depend on it. You have your own identity, whatever happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9862" LastEditorUserId="9862" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T01:28:41.700" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T01:28:41.700" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18481" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18502" CreationDate="2015-01-28T23:57:07.090" Score="6" ViewCount="5854" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do negative thoughts affect a foetus ? &lt;br/&gt;&#xA;How do most new parents avoid negative thoughts - for example worrying intensely about birth deformities etc ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10089" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T18:46:46.177" Title="Do negative thoughts affect a foetus?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18481" CreationDate="2015-01-29T00:32:04.667" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's possible that stress (not mere negative thoughts) has an effect, but to what extent is unknown. It is not a major factor at all; rather stress has a vanishingly small influence on fetal development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Negative thoughts and stress will not cause obvious abnormalities; those are caused by genetic mutations, and they are either spontaneous (in the egg, or an early cell) or inherited. For example, you can read about cystic fibrosis or Turner syndrome to learn about the genetics of inherited diseases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone has negative thoughts (and stress). Yet normal children have been the norm for many millennia. If your negative thoughts bother you, you should speak to your doctor about them. Meditation and other methods may help decrease stress, but there are no proven ways to decrease negative thoughts in everyone. That is a physchological problem not unique to pregnancy or parenthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T00:38:33.623" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T00:38:33.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-29T01:56:07.810" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps some useful things to remember:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's not your fault&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It takes two to Tango, but only one to stop.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;People change little over their lifetime (Despite their attestations&#xA;to the contrary). What has the greatest impact in relationships is the unspoken stuff, particularly the stuff that leads to harbouring resentment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hang in there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch and learn what doesn't work as it will influence your own&#xA;relationships.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's not your fault&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite what happens, the sun rises and sets each day. Time passes. It is difficult for all at first however, it does get easier with time. As long as it is not acrimonious and they can continue a civil -or better relationship you may find that the opportunities that open up outweigh the disadvantages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13458" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T01:56:07.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18484" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-01-29T01:57:49.460" Score="9" ViewCount="866" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in an abusive relationship where my son and I were both physically abused. I'm no longer in that relationship, and children's services has taken custody of my two year old son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In his eyes I feel like he thinks his family abandoned him, because children's services just ripped him away and out of his home. I've made mistakes and I know I didn't protect him like I should have. I will never forgive myself for letting any of this happen to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had my first visit with him at children's services, and when he first saw me he started crying and was upset.he was trying to get away from me and didnt want any part of seeing me. He was like this through the whole twenty minute visit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I regain his trust and build our relationship back up when I only see him thirty minutes a week? He's my everything, and all I want is for him to know I love him, and that I'm sorry, and nothing like this will ever happen again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13459" LastEditorUserId="13459" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T13:04:41.547" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T13:04:41.547" Title="Regaining the trust of my toddler" Tags="|toddler|abuse|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-29T02:27:22.323" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to offer a different opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's ever 'nothing' you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may not be able to prevent your parents divorce, but whether they do or they don't divorce it's still a very important moment in all your lives and it's important that you understand why they want to divorce. If you don't understand the situation then it becomes much harder to come to terms with. If they do divorce you'll have questions preying on your mind for a very long time. If they don't divorce, without knowing why you'll find yourself always worrying whenever there's a tiny argument. This is why it's important that you know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody here can tell you why your parents are considering divorce, only your parents know and only they can explain it to you. This is why my advice to you is to confront them about it - ask them outright, be it alone or together, why they want to divorce. The truth may hurt, but not knowing will hurt more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you understand why they are considering divorce you can form an opinion on whether it's a good thing or a bad thing and then express your opinion to your parents. Parents always value their kid's opinions, and even if they don't agree with you they'll acknowledge your opinion, which is another important thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, whatever happens, make sure that your parents know that you love them both and that whatever they choose to do you'll support them both, even if you don't agree with their decision. It might be hard, but it's better for everyone to part on good terms, even if you change your mind later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11202" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T02:27:22.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-29T03:38:55.030" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, thank you for caring enough to make a positive difference in your parents' life.  You would not &lt;em&gt;believe&lt;/em&gt; how helpful you are being, just by caring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now for the hard news.  It can take people decades to realize this, but &lt;strong&gt;you can't make &lt;em&gt;anybody&lt;/em&gt; do &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.  People will always do what they want to do.  You can affect their reasoning.  You can help them want to stay together.  You can use force and threats to help them want to stay together (this is what people often resort to when &quot;making&quot; someone agree with them).  In the end, no matter what, they will do what they will do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Divorce is not something parents consider lightly.  It is extremely painful for everyone: not only you or your mom, but it is likely excruciatingly painful for your dad as well, even though he is the one asking for it.  It is very likely that, if your dad is talking about it, the idea has so much momentum you are unlikely to stop it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider that divorce is two things.  One part is legal: there are a set of legal rights that husband and wife have.  The divorce paperwork will end that.  Fortunately, those legal details are probably not very important to you at your age.  We can basically ignore those at this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other part is the social part: the relationship between your parents.  I'd venture to guess that this is what you really care about.  The legal issues of dividing houses and finances are plenty, but they are usually not what sends aware young adults to stack exchange to ask for advice.  You want your parents to stay together.  &lt;strong&gt;The good news is there is something you can do here.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to help make it easier for them to repair damage.  Make it easier for them to talk to each other.  Try to make it easier for them to develop a healthy, respectful unmarried relationship.  There are many degrees of relationships, not simply married and not-married.  They are going to have to figure out their new relationship, and you can make that easier on them.  &lt;strong&gt;You should seek to support them.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does not have to come in the form of direct actions.  Yes, talking to them helps (especially once your dad talks to your mom... don't break the ice until they're ready for you to talk unless you're &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; sure you know what you're doing).  However, there are dozens of little things you can do.  &lt;strong&gt;Even little things like being good about doing your chores and being easy to work with will have huge effects.  You can't make your parents stay friends, but you can choose to make it as easy as possible for them to choose that way.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Now for the real secret to this approach:&lt;/strong&gt; it's not just specific to recovering from a divorce.  It's also great for supporting your parents if they don't get a divorce.  It's also great for trying to help your parents resolve issues so they don't need a divorce.  In all situations, trying to respect your parents and make their lives easy always helps them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you try something to force them to stay together, like threatening them, all of your energy is being devoted to stopping the divorce.  If the divorce happens anyways, all of your work is destroyed.  However, if you seek to be a positive influence, working with your parents, the story looks better.  You help them choose to not divorce (by reducing stresses on them, giving them more room to resolve their issues).  If they divorce, you have set yourself up to help them figure out what their new relationship is.  If they work through their issues and don't divorce, you've set them up to have a better life as a family.  &lt;strong&gt;No matter what they choose, your good work will support them!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Others are free to disagree with me here, but I find there's a paradoxical result here: &lt;strong&gt;the more you show that you'll support your parents no matter what they decide, the less likely they are to divorce.&lt;/strong&gt;  It seems natural to think that the best way to keep them together is to put your foot down against the divorce, but the opposite approach actually works better.  If they are to dodge the divorce, they are going to have to resolve something between them.  It's something hard to do, or they'd have fixed it long ago.  Knowing that you will support them no matter what they decide will actually help free them up to try to resolve their issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about it like homework.  How well can you concentrate on your book report when you know you have Math, History, and English homework, plus a quiz in Chemistry?  Most people's mind gets frazzled when subjected to deadlines like that.  Now imagine if your History and English worries were lifted, because the teachers realized they'd put too much on your plate.  &quot;If you can't finish the homework because you're too busy on book reports, that's okay.  You can finish it over the weekend.&quot;  Just think about how much easier it is to concentrate on the book report now.   That's what you can do to help your parents.  Work with them to make sure they don't have to worry about you, and can focus on healing themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastEditorUserId="9043" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T14:08:43.170" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T14:08:43.170" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18484" CreationDate="2015-01-29T05:46:16.127" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no magic answer for this situation and the desperation you feel now, but there is hope; hope for you and hope for your son. &lt;em&gt;It's not too late.&lt;/em&gt; It's hard now, and 30 minutes isn't much time, but it won't always be like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thankfully, you're both out of the abusive situation. No one deserves abuse (including you), and while persons who've been abused often feel guilty, you didn't ask to be abused. You didn't ask your partner to abuse your son. People who are abused don't make the best choices and decisions (you seem very aware of this). Children's services did what they thought they had to do to stop the abuse. Now is your chance to break free of any bad patterns you've learned, and make yourself a stronger person and a better mother. &lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt; need to be stronger to be a better mother to your son. If you want a good life with your son, you have to make it happen to the best of your ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son had a long time to learn he was unsafe. It will take a long time of consistent caring on your part to help him feel safe again. &lt;strong&gt;You can't hurry the process.&lt;/strong&gt; He has a right to feel the things he feels, like fear. You need to understand and respect that. That's part of loving your son. So let him cry, and do your best to avoid just reacting to your fears. Read to him, play with him, do the things you know he likes. It takes time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll get increased visitations as you prove trustworthy to do so. Abuse doesn't have to ruin your child's life. It's stopped now, right? Now healing from the abuse and dealing with its aftermath can also start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take parenting classes; start right away. Learn how to love, listen to and effectively deal with your son's current and future needs, like safe discipline. Work closely and cooperatively with your son's social worker(s) and do what they request. They have seen lots of victims of abuse, and want what's best for your son. That is their rightful priority. Your willingness to cooperate with them will go a long way towards establishing trust with them. If they see you becoming a better mother, you will have more time with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Avoid all contact with your abuser&lt;/strong&gt; except through an intermediary (preferably a lawyer). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get counseling for yourself and/or join a therapy group for survivors of abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available to everyone for confidential help and to obtain information about counselors in your area. Trained counselors who specialize in domestic violence can help your recovery and help you identify skills and strengths you do have (and help you with those you don't have) which will help be a better parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Counselors will give you more advice. It's up to you to act on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. You were both victims. Get the help you need. This can turn around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thehotline.org/2012/05/emotionally-recovering-from-an-abusive-relationship/&quot;&gt;Moving On Emotionally After An Abusive Relationship&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-home/Pages/Child-Abuse-What-Every-Parent-Should-Know.aspx&quot;&gt;Child Abuse: What Every Parent Should Know&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T05:46:16.127" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18488" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18499" CreationDate="2015-01-29T06:06:26.500" Score="1" ViewCount="209" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bring in a new human being into the world and need to do some budgeting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Southern California, suburb of a major city.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One income household with both parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't know who will be watching the child, depends on budget and if the other parent needs to work.. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the United State, living in a upper middle class society, what is the average cost of raising an infant, at each year (for the first 5 years before schooling starts)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Average cost at age 1:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Average cost at age 2:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Average cost at age 3:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Average cost at age 4:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Average cost at age 5:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13462" LastEditorUserId="13462" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T18:32:01.803" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T18:32:01.803" Title="What is the average cost difference per year to raise a infant before schooling?" Tags="|infant|money|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18489" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18496" CreationDate="2015-01-29T07:56:23.913" Score="23" ViewCount="4919" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son (7 years) is having piano lessons for some months now. Currently we want him to practice at least 10 minutes each day, but this is sometimes difficult if he gets home late after sports or other courses in the afternoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we insist that he practices playing the piano at least 10 minutes each day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pro:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;since we insist on it, he makes good progress&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contra:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sometimes it is difficult for him to concentrate on practicing, if it is late in the afternoon (or early evening) and it is often not possible to start practicing earlier&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-02-01T19:17:49.820" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T23:56:22.340" Title="Learning to play an instrument: Should we insist that our child practices each day?" Tags="|primary-schooler|learning|music|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18490" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18497" CreationDate="2015-01-29T10:18:05.453" Score="9" ViewCount="11365" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-and-a-half-year-old child refuses to take her food. We have to force her to eat. I even tried changing her food to suit her tastes but still need to force her. Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T21:44:48.150" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T22:53:21.080" Title="2-and-a-half-year-old child refuses to take her food" Tags="|food|eating|feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-02-02T21:26:28.593" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18490" CreationDate="2015-01-29T10:41:20.797" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child will not starve itself. She is probably not eating because she is not hungry. Forcing her will only make it less enjoyable for her, imo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask her if she is hungry/if she wants to eat something at some points of the day. When she does, propose food you can give her, and follow her tastes. If she is hungry when you also are eating, propose to eat with you, either at a place for herself, or next to you, or on your lap. 2.5 years old is an important age where she start to see that she can make choices, and being given (directed) choices can be a really good motivation for her, like when she is hungry &quot;Do you want to eat at your place, or with me? Do you want an orange or blue plate?&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember many times when my daughter didn't eat with us, when she was that age. Also, many times when she ate while sitting on her mother's lap. Now she is 4 years old and eat at her place on the table most of the times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she is a bit older, you might want to explain why there are social rules about when to eat, why a family eat together at certain times. But 2.5 years seems a bit early for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T10:41:20.797" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T10:44:02.610" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could ask him what he wants. Ask him if he wants to pratice a bit for getting good progress, or if he is too tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T10:44:02.610" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T10:50:37.310" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would get him to play more on days when he is does not have sport or late finishes, and get him just to do a couple of scales or something on days when he has more on. As he starts playing for longer he'll also start enjoying it more as he'll start becoming more creative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T12:53:25.290" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T12:53:25.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T11:59:12.987" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Insisting, forcing him to do something will most likely not work in the long term. Yes, he may improve, but it'd be much much better if he &lt;em&gt;wanted&lt;/em&gt; to improve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should talk to your son, ask him whether he wants to learn to play well or not. If he doesn't - I think you shouldn't force him.  I admit that he will eventually learn, but it'll cost him much and he won't be happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he wants to play - try the &lt;em&gt;write it down&lt;/em&gt; tactic. Talk about practising and together come up with a reasonable &quot;schedule&quot; for practice. Like &lt;em&gt;parents will continue paying for piano lessons, but son acknowledges that he has to practice at least three times a week for at least half an hour beyond paid lessons&lt;/em&gt;. Be reasonable, but don't make his commitment too small. You have to both be happy with what you come up with. Write it down, sign it together, hang it somewhere visible (if you don't have a whiteboard or stick-board it'd be a great opportunity to get one) and remind your son about the deal from time to time, if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea behind this plan is to make the kid either want to practice, or agree to practice by himself. He will know that &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; could've stopped learning, &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; decided not to, and will motivate himself to practice, to progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T11:59:12.987" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18490" CreationDate="2015-01-29T12:05:05.913" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;She's old enough to realize what eating is and that it is necessary. If she doesn't want to eat, don't make her. But make it clear that when she refuses, the next meal will be in, say, 3 hours. If that's her choice, stick to it. Don't give in by offering her something to eat in the meantime, don't let her fill up on sweets, etc., be strong and wait for the next meal. If she still refuses it, repeat the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she refuses to eat for a whole day, and then a breakfast the next day, it's probably time to consult a specialist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T12:05:05.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T12:39:26.367" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key to getting a reluctant practiser to practise anything (a musical instrument, reading, physical exercise, whatever) is to change from:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Time for you to go practise X!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;OK, time for us to do your X!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't mean stand over him with a timer and glare to ensure he doesn't stop at 9 minutes 30 seconds. I mean you show your enthusiasm for the starting of the task. You listen intently to what he's doing. You talk to him about it. You point out where he's noticeably improving - that passage is so much smoother now! - and directly tie it to the work he is putting in. You smile and react and show your involvement. You turn the pages of the book, or suggest what to play next. You really intensely care about the piano practising, or the kata repetition, or the reading. And when it's done, you praise the work that was put in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long term improvements like learning the piano or becoming an A student are hard to see progress on. But being able to land a jump or play a passage that you couldn't do last week is a huge motivator. Seven year olds (and twelve year olds, and some thirty year olds) may not notice - but if you're there to point it out, they will. You will come to enjoy those ten minutes a day together, and the chore will become something not quite so chore-y.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T12:39:26.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18490" CreationDate="2015-01-29T13:09:00.263" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please do not read this answer as bashing your parenting style. I know from experience that it's easy to fall into a pattern of wanting your child to eat more or differently, and end up coercing them into doing so. My daughter was flagged as underweight by her doctors as a toddler, so as a family we have a long history of struggling with helping her eat well (see final section, below). There's a lot of evidence that well-meant intervention in eating can backfire, and backfire badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a comment above, A E linked to &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sapient-nature/201403/the-nurturers-curse&quot;&gt;a Psychology Today article about force-feeding&lt;/a&gt; which has useful information about its potential negative long-term impacts. While much of it deals with reward/punishment force-feeding rather than actual physical force, I feel that the information is still applicable here. I've added some quotes from that to lend some support and context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A toddler is beginning to realize that she has some control over the world around her. &lt;strong&gt;One of the easiest things to control at that age is food&lt;/strong&gt;: she is supposed to be picking it up (not throwing it), putting it in her mouth (not smearing it around her face), chewing (not spitting it out or swallowing/choking on large chunks), and swallowing. As you can see, there's plenty of other things she can do with the food, including simply refusing to eat it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By making it &lt;em&gt;such&lt;/em&gt; a big deal, you are somewhat encouraging her to &lt;em&gt;continue refusing&lt;/em&gt; food because you will be paying attention to her -- even though it's negative attention. This can have lifelong impacts on her feelings about food and eating, none of which are particularly good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Findings from a study in which over 100 individuals who had been force-fed as kids were interviewed revealed the psychological damage that force-feeding inflicts on kids.... 55% said that they had experienced nausea, while 20% said that they vomited at several points during their childhood on account of the force-feeding.... Also, half of those in the force-fed group recalled that they &quot;cried frequently&quot; during meals...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An additional risk of forcing her to eat is that you're starting a constant battle about who will control her food. Also, you are not helping her learn the important skill of listening to her body's hunger: you are saying food needs to go in no matter what. Both of these can lead to eating disorders when she is older (teenager/adult), either anorexia or overeating (ref. &lt;a href=&quot;http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2013/04/22/pushing-kids-to-eat-may-cause-obesity-later/&quot;&gt;this CNN article for a discussion of a link between forced feeding and obesity&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Over time, as research on the presence of extrinsic rewards [e.g. earning a dessert, being praised for a clean plate] for doing intrinsically enjoyable tasks shows, these bribes start eroding into the kids' enjoyment of food; these kids grow into adults who don't particularly like food or have unhealthy attitudes towards them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend instead &lt;strong&gt;focus positively on the &lt;em&gt;importance&lt;/em&gt; of eating&lt;/strong&gt; sensible meals regularly throughout the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;This food gives you energy, which helps you play. We will be able to have fun playing a game once you have eaten this and gotten energy!&quot; (It's about activities she enjoys, not about the food.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;This food helps you grow up healthy. You are growing very quickly! What a big girl you are!&quot; (It's about her body, not about the food.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Even something specific about a meal: &quot;This is Mommy's favorite food. Mmmmm. Would you like to taste and tell me if you like it?&quot; (It's about enjoying eating, not about the food.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her &lt;em&gt;refuse&lt;/em&gt; food sometimes, perhaps even a whole meal. (Give her a chance to exercise a little independence.) Let her pick foods (within reason) and portion sizes. Give back food control to her, provide guidance and suggestion instead of forcing, and see if that makes a difference. &lt;strong&gt;The goal should be to raise a daughter who will eventually make healthy, sensible food choices even after you are no longer there to tell her what, when, and how much to eat.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also the possibility that she has a mild allergy to a common ingredient, and eating makes her uncomfortable. For example, my daughter is lactose intolerant; if she eats anything with milk or cheese, she gets stomach cramps, acid reflux, bad gas, and diarrhea. She learned to associate eating with pain, and therefore didn't want to eat much -- but once we discovered the condition (after &lt;em&gt;years&lt;/em&gt;, unfortunately!) and eliminated dairy food, she felt much better and was more positive about eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is very against eating even after you change your feeding strategy, consider visiting a medical specialist to try to rule out physiological reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additional reading and sources, some of which were quoted above:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ellyn Satter's &quot;Division of Responsibility in Feeding&quot; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php#sthash.iizsSa9s.dpuf&quot;&gt;(Link)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Raj Raghunathan blog post at &lt;em&gt;Psychology Today&lt;/em&gt;, &quot;The Nurturer's Curse: Why force-feeding kids backfires and tips on kicking the nasty habit&quot; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sapient-nature/201403/the-nurturers-curse&quot;&gt;(Link)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Val Wadas-Willingham blog post at CNN, “Pushing kids to eat may cause obesity later” &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2013/04/22/pushing-kids-to-eat-may-cause-obesity-later/&quot;&gt;(Link)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Loth, Katie A. et al, “Food-Related Parenting Practices and Adolescent Weight Status: A Population-Based Study.” Pediatrics 131.5 (2013): e1443–e1450. PMC. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3639463/&quot;&gt;(Link)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Maryann Jacobsen, blog post titled, “What forcing kids to eat looks 20 years later”  &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2012/07/what-forcing-kids-to-eat-looks-like-20-years-later/&quot;&gt;(Link)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;KidsHealth blog post titled, “Toddlers at the table: avoiding power struggles,” &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_center/healthy_eating/toddler_meals.html&quot;&gt;(Link)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following articles were referenced in a comment to the Psychology Today post, but I have not read them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Batsell, Brown, Ansfield, and Paschall (2002), “’You will eat all of that!’: A retrospective analysis of force consumption episodes,” Appetite, 38(3), 211-219, &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1006/appe.2001.0482&quot;&gt;doi:10.1006/appe.2001.0482&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wardle, Cooke, Gibson, Sapochnik, Sheiham, Lawson (2003), “Increasing children’s acceptance of vegetables; a randomized trial of parent-led exposure,” Appetite, Apr; 40(2) : 155-62. 6. &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/S0195-6663(02)00135-6&quot;&gt;doi:10.1016/S0195-6663(02)00135-6&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tanofsky-Kraff, Haynos, Kottler, Yanovski, Yanovski, “&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2585783/&quot;&gt;Laboratory-based studies of eating among children and adolescents&lt;/a&gt;,” Curr Nutr Food Sci. 2007;3(1):55-74&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T21:43:41.727" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T21:43:41.727" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T14:51:40.873" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the early stages holding a childs interest is far more important than practicing. the child must want to learn and forcing practice would make it a chore rather than a good time and you could stifle the childs own natural gifts.  When i was taking lessons I did not want to show up for lessons if i had not practised for fear the teacher would look down on me.  My roommate taught guitar and what we did at the end of each lesson was to have an &quot;open jam&quot; for 20 minutes or so with the student on lead guitar my roommate on bass and me on drums.  the students couldnt wait to come to practice.  make them WANT to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13473" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T14:51:40.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18488" CreationDate="2015-01-29T15:50:20.623" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the USDA's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/sites/default/files/expenditures_on_children_by_families/crc2013.pdf&quot;&gt;Expenditures on Children by Families&lt;/a&gt; annual study (2013 is the latest I found):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;Table 10. Estimated annual expenditures* on a child born in 2013 by income group,&#xA;overall United States&#xA;Income group&#xA;Year Age Lowest Middle Highest&#xA;2013 &amp;lt;1 $9,480  $12,940 $21,430&#xA;2014 1   9,710   13,250  21,940&#xA;2015 2   9,940   13,570  22,470&#xA;2016 3   10,220  13,930  23,020&#xA;2017 4   10,470  14,260  23,570&#xA;2018 5   10,720  14,600  24,140&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They don't provide a single value, but you could determine that by going to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bls.gov/cex/&quot;&gt;Consumer Expenditure Survey&lt;/a&gt; and duplicating the USDA's methodology, which is included in their annual report.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They do explain that this varies significantly by income, single/double parent household, region, and other factors; many of these are broken out in the report.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T15:50:20.623" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T15:57:41.670" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ten minutes of practice each day seems like a reasonable thing to ask of him at this age.  It may be a little much for him to handle if he's also doing sports on certain days though, so I can understand your hesitance.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On days where he's had to go to sports practice, you could try asking him first if he's willing to do is practice.  If he's not, then offer him a compromise of just 5 minutes.  Encourage him to practice his scales, and stay with him during that time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also make sure he's enjoying it, if not all the time then at least when he's doing the practice and isn't exhausted from other things.  Forcing him to enjoy piano practice is not going to do him or you any favors.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, however, you know that he enjoys it, keep encouraging him, and make sure he practices every day.  Learning a complex talent like playing an instrument takes dedication and discipline, and by keeping him to a schedule, you're teaching him that at an early age.  There are of course some exceptions, but unless they're genuine remarkable circumstances, keep it up, and reward him for his progress.  It's hard, but it's a lesson that is well worth teaching.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T15:57:41.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T16:54:59.293" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Without exception, every adult I know who took piano as a kid but no longer plays, including some who were quite talented, had it turned into a chore by their parents.  It is &lt;strong&gt;absolutely essential&lt;/strong&gt; to find a way to keep it fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would make your busiest days fun days, where you still expect him to play, but let him play whatever he wants.  It might surprise you what he chooses.  Yes, he will review fun songs that are now easy for him, but when I was a kid, I also used that time to tinker with very hard songs that I loved but were way above my level.  Those songs eventually brought my level up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is happening nearly every day, you might want to re-prioritize.  Perhaps let him take piano lessons at a slower pace or drop some other activities.  Perhaps find a different time to practice.  For a while in high school, the only time I could find was before school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T16:54:59.293" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18481" CreationDate="2015-01-29T18:46:46.177" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Studies have shown there are some effects of maternal stress (usually measured by cortisol levels) on both perinatal outcomes (ie, miscarriages, early births, etc.) and on the later development of the child.  They tend to show that &lt;em&gt;significant&lt;/em&gt; amounts of stress may be harmful, but medium to low levels of stress are good - better than nearly-no stress. They're also not &lt;em&gt;clearly&lt;/em&gt; harmful - as anongoodnurse notes, you're not going to cause a birth defect by being stressed.  They may have a marginal effect on when the child is born or his/her size, but it's far from the most significant thing that effects your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, anxiety about childbirth is entirely normal and natural, and there isn't a (pregnant) woman alive who doesn't have some anxiety about her fetus.  That's one of the things that defines us as mammals: strong maternal instincts focused on protecting the fetus and child.  You shouldn't worry about those feelings, unless they either begin to interfere with your daily routine (such as you can't get out of bed because you're afraid for the fetus) or with your health.  Your obstetrician should be monitoring some elements of your health, such as your blood pressure, and any concerns you have on this side should be directed towards her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to look into this from an academic point of view, Emory's Child Development Project has a good &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychiatry.emory.edu/PROGRAMS/GADrug/Feature%20Articles/Mothers/The%20effects%20of%20maternal%20stress%20and%20anxiety%20during%20pregnancy%20(mot07).pdf&quot;&gt;summary&lt;/a&gt; on the subject, and several of the references in the paper are good places to begin; Dr. Janet DiPietro from Johns Hopkins, for example, wrote &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jhsph.edu/research/centers-and-institutes/johns-hopkins-fetal-development-project/_materials/_publications/Chapter%203.pdf&quot;&gt;a book&lt;/a&gt; on the subject. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want a more layman's summary, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/fetal-stress&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt; has a good piece on the subject, which includes several comments from leading developmental psychologists and perinatal specialists.  They also did a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/stress-marks&quot;&gt;review&lt;/a&gt; on a layman-aimed book on the subject, &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0983898405&quot;&gt;Stress Solutions for Pregnant Moms: How Breaking Free From Stress Can Boost Your Baby’s Potential&lt;/a&gt;, which could be another resource to consider, including tips for managing your stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T18:46:46.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T18:58:15.400" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that, to answer a question of whether you should insist, depends on how important it is for you that he improves in that particular skill. I believe that insisting on something that he's not interested in doing is counterproductive and stunts learning, although it may be necessary in some circumstances, like school or domestic chores for instance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if we assume that learning that skill is important enough to insist, I'd cut down the time spent on other activities that are taking away from properly focusing on that one, and attempt to make him excited about learning to play the piano, before actually forcing him to do so. If those aren't options, I'd consider a different schedule, increasing the time of the practice session but doing so only 3 or 4 days a week, if that fits better with the rest of his schedule. It may also make for a more special event, if you can tell him that &quot;it's piano day!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13477" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T18:58:15.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T19:41:01.007" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to add a little contrast to the other answers. I think you should insist, but carefully. Focus on having your son set goals, encouraging your son / being there for him, setting a routine, and possibly finding a better teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been playing the piano for more than 10 years, and I never would have made it this far if my parents did not &quot;force&quot; me to practice. At this point in my life, I absolutely love playing the piano; I happily practice for hours on my own. But it was not always so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Goals&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I first started playing the piano, I was very determined to learn. While my mom was the one telling me to practice, I was happy to do so. Why? Because I had a &lt;strong&gt;goal&lt;/strong&gt;: surpassing my sister. Which later became surpassing my brother. This is very key. Goals are extremely motivating. Now, even with that goal, I needed prodding and help from my parents. My mom was still the one telling me to practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a time where we kept a chart of practicing. If I practiced 15 minutes on a given day, I got to check it off. Enough checks resulted in a fun little reward. Give him something to work towards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Encouragement / Always Being There&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom didn't just send me off to practice. When I was practicing, she was always right there next to me, not actively helping me learn (after the first couple years, she could not because she is not musically talented), but she always sat there in the same room as me. Without fail, if she left to go do something, I would stop practicing. And when she was there, she could hear my progress and pointed it out to me, giving me encouragement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Routine&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A routine was very important to getting me practicing. I was homeschooled, so during much of my childhood, 8-9 AM was the practicing time (naturally, the length of time depended on how old I was). I knew that when 8 o'clock hit, I needed to be practicing the piano. I'd often practice without prodding from my parents because of this routine. Routines work wonders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward a couple years, and I was taking a class that started at 9 AM, requiring me to leave the house at 8. This threw my routine out-of-whack. During this time, I rarely practiced the piano. I knew I &quot;had&quot; to practice the piano every day, but struggled doing so. Until I found a new routine, practicing was very sporadic. I might practice as soon as I get home at 2 PM, or I might practice at 8 PM, or at 5 PM - there was no schedule behind it. Eventually, I set a new routine that I would practice at 5 PM every day, the same time when my mom started cooking (our kitchen is next to the room with the piano, so she could still give encouragement and I still felt her presence). When I set that routine, suddenly my practicing became regular. It became rare for me to miss a day. Note that a set time works much better than something like &quot;right after you come home from school&quot; (assuming that that time actually changes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Teachers&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point, who your child's teacher is actually matters. It becomes hard to improve once you reach a certain point (actually, there are many points where this happens). Practicing becomes frustrating because it feels as if no progress happens. At this point, a good piano teacher can be really encouraging. I know a certain piano teacher who, when I took lessons from her, managed to get me extremely enthused. I would practice without care of how long I was spending. And no matter how little progress I made, I felt appreciated by her; she'd always be encouraging, never saying negative things, instead telling me &quot;how to make it even better.&quot; This same teacher has done the same with kids that I was teaching (way more recently); I couldn't figure out how to get them excited for the piano, but as soon as they switched over to her, they loved playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was struggling with continuing the piano, my parents did force me to continue a bit further before deciding. I am so grateful that they did this. If they did not push me past the rough spot, I would have quit playing the piano, yet the piano is such a big part of my life. I absolutely recommend that you insist that your son play the piano, but do so smartly. Do not randomly send him to the piano. Set a routine with him (he should know when it is practice time). Be there with him (it's his job to practice, but you are still there supporting him in it). Have him set goals (perhaps he should find competition with other young pianists; this might be hard until he's older). And just be overall encouraging. Try to make practicing the piano fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9221" LastEditorUserId="9221" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T23:56:22.340" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T23:56:22.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-29T20:26:50.687" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As nearly everyone here is suggesting, there is nothing you can do. It's tough and not the answer you want to hear, but it is true. You're in that tough place in life where you recognize problems and desire to remedy them, but you lack experience to even know where to start or if you should even try. You're probably smart enough to learn what to do and even properly apply that knowledge, but even then adults will mostly ignore any bit of wisdom you might have on an issue, especially your own parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few things you can do. &lt;strong&gt;The most important is to do your best to facilitate kind and loving behavior between your parents, &lt;em&gt;despite&lt;/em&gt; the fact they are separating.&lt;/strong&gt; In other words, stress to them the importance that they at least get along. Divorce is hard enough by itself, and ten times harder when the two divorcing can't even sit down to have Christmas dinner together. Their marriage might dissolve, but your family doesn't have to. &lt;strong&gt;Keep the peace and your family will stay together even if their marriage does not.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next thing you can do is personally &lt;strong&gt;come to terms with what is happening&lt;/strong&gt;. You need to accept that your parents are individual persons with their own ideas. The sooner you accept that they will do what they will, the sooner you can quickly move past the anger, sorrow, and depression that comes with this kind of thing. Which leads to the final thing you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be sensitive to your parents feelings and thoughts about this.&lt;/strong&gt; Whether you believe they are acting in the right or not, be sure to keep the peace between you and them. I strongly suspect you love both your parents and they both love you. Do not forget that and keep showing them that love daily even though you are not happy with their decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In summary:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot &lt;em&gt;stop&lt;/em&gt; what they are going to do. What you can do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep the peace between your parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accept that your parents will do what they will and you may not agree with it, but you do have to cope with it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep the peace between you and your parents. Do not hate them for this. Instead, make the extra effort to show them more love even though it hurts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You number one goal should be to help the family still resembles one even if they do divorce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user10076" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T20:26:50.687" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T21:56:16.963" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The one thing it might be worth to make him realize is that with playing, just like with many, many other things, you make most progress while sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you practice something and don't make any progress at all, that feels quite frustrating.  And maybe after a few times of that, it starts working even though you don't do anything different.  And that's not because you've been an idiot, but because one does not improve during practice.  Instead, one prepares the topics for one's sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So procrastination and finally practising on lesson day does not work.  And being driven to work on something until it is right does not work either.  Your just setting up your sleep work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So pretty much the most frustrating thing you can have is a &quot;helpful&quot; parent pointing out what you are doing all wrong and getting impatient when you don't &quot;fix&quot; it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even muddling through a few minutes before sleep can be a helpful reminder for the sleep work of the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But nagging the child is not likely helpful: just make him realize that it does not matter if there is no progress to be seen in a particular session.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13481" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T21:56:16.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T22:26:36.103" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a boy of about 11, I decided I wanted to learn to play the piano.  My parents didn't really care one way or the other, but they were pleased that I took an interest in something other than video games.  They found a piano teacher who was also a relatively young elementary school teacher.  I looked up to her like she was some kind of goddess, and she just loved kids and the process of figuring out how our little brains worked.  She was almost like a therapist.  If she saw that I wasn't progressing on something, she didn't assume it was because I was lazy.  She would ask me probing questions, and get to the root of what was going on in my head (I didn't like the song, something was going on at school that made me not want to practice that week, or occasionally I literally was just being lazy.)  She talked to me like I was an adult, but she talked to me with a lot of care and concern.  She told my parents to leave piano teaching to her -- don't scold me for not practicing -- just be interested and be an encouragement when I made certain milestones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The result?  Well, I competed in various piano competitions in my latter teens, and I won a few.  I still play fairly regularly, though it didn't become my profession.  I was well on my way to becoming a virtuoso, but as I reached my latter teens my teacher took a job in another state, and my new teacher used a kind of &quot;command and control&quot; teaching approach.  I hated her teaching style.  I dislike it to this day.  She destroyed my passion and berated me every time I made a mistake or showed any lack of interest in anything she decided to foist on me.  She turned it into a drudge.  As an adult I can look back at it and say &quot;Well, I should have decided whether I wanted to be a virtuoso and just not let her get to me&quot;, but a young man doesn't think that clearly.  In the end, I am a quite competent piano player -- I can play classical/baroque, popular, rock, jazz, etc. all equally well.  I've played in a number of bands.  People are always wanting me to play at churches, parties, etc. and I do sometimes.  I generally work up a few things to play during the holidays, because there's always family around that wants to hear something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soooo..... long story short.... if you're focusing on &quot;should I make my kid practice every day?&quot; you might have already missed the boat.  It's &lt;strong&gt;way&lt;/strong&gt; more important that your child really has a great relationship with his teacher than whether he practices consistently or not.  There were times where I'd practice continuously for hours and hours on end -- literally until my fingernails bled (because I'd had a great lesson and my teacher had really motivated me on something), and then there were times where something was going on in my life and I'd practice barely enough to make any progress that week.  It's not so much about &quot;you must get your 10 minutes in every day&quot;, it's about &quot;Are you liking what you're doing?  Do you like your teacher?  Are you motivated? If not, why not?&quot;  Ask those questions and then, most importantly &lt;strong&gt;listen&lt;/strong&gt;.  You may have to go through a few teachers to find one your child clicks with.  Don't worry about offending anybody.  Different teachers click with different types of kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, this is just my experience.  There are Tiger Moms out there who'll say I'm full of bull, but I can tell you that for every kid who is taught to play using the Tiger Mom approach, there are 999 who quit because they couldn't stand it, nobody knows why they quit, and it had nothing to do with ability -- it was all about psychology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. Guess which piano teacher attended my wedding years later?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13482" LastEditorUserId="13482" LastEditDate="2015-01-29T22:32:15.280" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T22:32:15.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T22:40:45.990" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, I play violin. I am 13. You lose progress if you go too long without practicing. Oboe, trumpet, horn...whatever. But hard instruments...namely string ones are important to regularly practice.&#xA;Piano is also in that category. Even just 5 minutes. I gets that it often turns into a chore, but sometimes you need to do things because they just need to be done, this means you don't  really need to reward him for practicing, simply sounding good is reward enough. You might instead set up a time everyday. Where he can squeeze in as much practice time as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13483" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T22:40:45.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-01-29T22:41:52.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both as a (one time) child who took violin, and as the (current) parent of children who also take violin, I think anything that you want to improve on needs to be done at least 10 minutes each day (or at least that should be the goal --no one meets it 100% of the time).  Outside of that, the child will never get better and you'll be wasting his and his teacher's time with the lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the larger picture, I don't believe in forcing a child into any activity they absolutely don't connect with, but assuming both you and your child agree --for the most part, on most days --that piano is something he should do, practicing regularly is a necessity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, for my son, I switch between days when practice is really focused and directed, and days when I just let him have fun with his instrument based on his mood, level of energy, and what else has happened during the day.  In other words, some days we need to really work, other days, I just want him to have the instrument in his hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T22:41:52.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-29T22:46:34.507" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a really hard thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe if you talked to your dad about how much it would hurt you if they split. Really seriously, not like &quot;hey dad please don't get divorced I'd be sad&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him to really try and talk to your mom about what's bothering him. I'm sure they could work it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13483" LastEditorUserId="24488" LastEditDate="2016-12-27T19:30:41.710" LastActivityDate="2016-12-27T19:30:41.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18490" CreationDate="2015-01-29T22:53:21.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;** Let me say we have been to the specialists, therapists, doctors, etc. This answer is based on what I have to do when all the normal suggestions fail **&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh man, you and me both. My 2 1/2 year old is doing the same things.&#xA;Let me tell you what I've figured out myself. Most of it is a battle, and probably doesn't set up the best structure for meal time, but it might be enough to avoid a g-tube.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First - &lt;strong&gt;don't force feed&lt;/strong&gt;. I don't know if by force feed you mean shove things in her mouth or if it means an hour of spoon feeding in a variety of inconvenient ways to get through a cup of yogurt. I personally went down the road of holding her in one arm while walking around the house getting her to touch light fixtures, look out windows, etc, while spoon feeding her meals. This was grueling, but it didn't seem to drive her to outright reject food with some negative overtone like forcing food in her mouth or anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nursing&lt;/strong&gt; - Is she still nursing? That's pretty much the best source of nutrients, so if she's still doing well there then the amount of solids taken in might not be as critical. I know this is also exhausting. My daughter is still demanding nursing so frequently, and with the fervor of a 2 1/2 year old, that it is every bit as hard as getting her to eat a normal meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Treats&lt;/strong&gt; - Careful on that road. I used small things like gummy vitamins, which I just call gummy bears, as bribery. Sometimes it's single M&amp;amp;Ms. I'll tell her - one chicken one M&amp;amp;M. She'll eat a small chicken bite, I give her an M&amp;amp;M. In the end I know I'm giving her way too many sweets and that's building bad habits, but at the same time I get her to eat a whole meal she would otherwise have never touched. Just be warned that too many sweet things may get her to refuse to eat anything without them, or start demanding just the sweets with no nutritional food with it. I've been there too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Longer periods without food&lt;/strong&gt; - We tried dropping the frequency of meals just to see if maybe she just wasn't hungry. That was totally inconclusive. Her eating behavior was pretty much the same even if we didn't try to feed her anything all day - just leaving out foods she can graze on all day. Didn't work. She would eat small bits, just the same as when we try to get her to eat at meal time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Costco&lt;/strong&gt; - Costco usually has samples around noon. She did like going around trying the samples, and from that we discovered foods she would willingly eat. Things we wouldn't have guessed otherwise. When your kid eats nothing, it's hard to commit to buying something that comes in large quantities since there's no guarantee she's going to eat even a single bite. But Costco gave us a few items she seems to not reject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I can get her to eat, but pretty much only me. Sitting down with other kids doesn't seem to work. If her mom is around she just wants to nurse and refuses food. Babysitters sometimes report she ate something, but nowhere near what other families say their little ones eat. It's such a battle I am not sure whether or not a g-tube would be a better path than this constant struggle. G-tubes come with their own difficulties as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone's an expert. They all say to do this and that and warn you about what not to do. I've battled through many years of 2 kids who hate food and about all I took from this is that everyone is different, but pretty much everyone learns how to eat, feed themselves, and not die of starvation. So if your doctor says she is still growing and doesn't need a g-tube, then you're probably ok. Probably also doomed to many years of food battles. My 4 year old is very reliable now. Once they can reason, it is pretty easy to get them to feast and be happy to do so. While the battle with her is over, she still doesn't eat nearly as much as a normal 4 year old, but I'll take what I can get by this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it helps, here are the things my daughter will definitely eat, but usually only small portions each where each meal is a small bit of one thing, then I move to the next small bit until she says no more:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;YoBaby organic yogurt. Found in any Target. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bananas&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cuties oranges &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chicken Taquitos from Costco &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Guacamole &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bagels w/ Cream Cheese (even though it looks more like lick the cheese and only&#xA;minimally bite the bagels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Organic chicken nuggets from Target&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Black Beans and Brown Rice from Chipotle (they will usually give you these for free with any purchase)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Canned Peaches&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Canned Pears&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Olives&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carrots&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Celery&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Strawberries or Raspberries&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Macaroni &amp;amp; cheese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also tend to mix in some coconut oil, flax seeds, and poly-visol liquid vitamins in when we can. I've seen no evidence she rejects foods with these things added in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck though. I know your pain all too well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T22:53:21.080" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18466" CreationDate="2015-01-29T22:55:20.983" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know what your parents are going through, or at least I believe I do.  I have a child with severe anxiety (OCD is typically an attempt to manage anxiety).  I think the therapist that told your brother he needs to have internal motivation was technically accurate, but sort of unprofessional -- a therapist's job is to seek opportunities to help an anxious patient prove to him/herself that he &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; improve, and help him grow the motivation, not just cop a &quot;sink or swim, loser&quot; attitude.  Anxiety is hard enough to overcome without that kind of judgement being heaped on, and that therapist did him a disservice with that little attitude, assuming his OCD is the conventional anxiety-based kind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cognitive behavioral therapy by someone who specializes in anxiety is the best way to get beyond this point, and family therapy is often necessary as well (as a support for the resentments that are inevitably present).  Meds can help, but the true long term solution comes from therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13482" LastEditorUserId="13482" LastEditDate="2015-01-30T13:12:46.977" LastActivityDate="2015-01-30T13:12:46.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18451" CreationDate="2015-01-29T23:00:58.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 13 and in this situation. It's tough, especially when you are a middle school girl, but if I managed to make new friends, your little kid can. Tell him to make new friends at lunch, or play kickball with someone else at recess. 1st grade is a wonderful time where everyone likes everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pro: he can get out of his shell and get to know others&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Con: he's gonna miss seeing his friends...that's inevitable. He can minimize this by hanging out with them recess if he has it and lunch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13483" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-01-30T16:36:33.153" LastActivityDate="2015-01-30T16:36:33.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-29T23:04:36.743" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes you can do something. I have seen broken marriages turn around by coming to God through Jesus. If you rely on reasoning then you will only get so far and probably fail, as most of the other answers have said. However if you recognize that we are made in the image of God, and come to him, then everything can change and it does. Turn to God firstly yourself, he won't hear your prayers unless you let go of whatever junk you carry - find a Bible and read Psalm 66. Repent and be baptized. Once you are willing to come to God, then you can resist the work that the enemy is doing (see John 10:9-10), and pray, taking authority over the situation that your parents eyes will be opened (2 Cor 4:4). Bless you, there is hope. I have seen miracles occur to save marriages in a short time once peoples eyes are opened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13484" LastActivityDate="2015-01-29T23:04:36.743" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18476" CreationDate="2015-01-30T01:52:28.717" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes just the reminder to focus is helpful. It doesn't have to be verbal, it can be a hand signal, a stance, etc. that tells her hey, your attention is needed here. She may be drifting because she's bored, or thinks she knows the material when she doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, when is her birthday? I ask because my son was always younger than most of his classmates, having a June birthday. When he was 5 and in kindergarten it took him more time to settle down after coming in from recess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was absolutely never any mention of ADHD from a pre-school teacher, babysitter, relative or anyone else in his life. His teacher told the assistant principal that he was ADHD and needed to be medicated. This was someone who had been teaching for years, and was within 10 years of retirement. She never said a word about it to me directly. I was called in for a meeting with the A.P. that the teacher was not present at, and to say it didn't go well for them is putting it mildly, I refused any testing whatsoever for my son, and suggested that it was not unreasonable to expect the teacher to work with the full spectrum of that age group. They threatened he would have to repeat kindergarten. I did not think so, as he was grasping the material well. Not only did he not have to repeat kindergarten, he did remarkably well all through school and graduated high school magna cum laude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did talk to him about it in very, very simple terms, and talked and talked. A little at a time going a little deeper each time, I think he thought he was in trouble. I let him know I was on his side and we needed to fix the problem and I needed his help to do so. I found out exactly what the routine was when they came in from recess from the room mother (who did not think he had a problem) and I told my son he had to play a game called stop. When teacher does such and such it's time to stop and give her your attention. I then rewarded him every time his weekly report showed the tiniest bit of improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to make it sound like I'm against medication when needed, but there are other ways of handling things also. It seems like ADHD is the &quot;in&quot; thing for kids to have and I think its to easy to point a finger in that direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've shared this tale with you to say one thing, and that is, you know your child best, how is she around others? What is your gut telling you about what is best for her? Don't let others push you into doing something you do not feel right about. Think about all your options first and how they may affect your daughter now and in the future.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can have her tested and not do anything with it, it doesn't mean you have to medicate her. You also can have her tested privately, if you can afford it so it's not associated with her school unless you choose to share it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you choose to do, good luck to you and your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13485" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-01-30T02:01:23.543" LastActivityDate="2015-01-30T02:01:23.543" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12912" CreationDate="2015-01-30T03:35:10.630" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the status of your child. If the child &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; breathing, conscious and in little to no immediate distress/danger; then you first call should be to the Poison Control Center, they can then advise you on what to do.&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&#xA;If the child &lt;strong&gt;is in distress&lt;/strong&gt; - difficulty breathing, intense pain etc. - , unconscious and/or not breathing you need to contact EMS (Emergency Medical Services) immediately. &#xA;&lt;p&gt;&#xA;The emergency dispatcher or person with the Poison Control Center will also remind you of the following: if you are advised to administer and oral anecdote do not under any circumstances administer it to a child with an altered level of consciousness. If at any time a dispatcher or some such &lt;strong&gt;does&lt;/strong&gt; advise you to do so; make sure that they understand that the child is either unconscious or clearly unable to swallow for some such reason but do not argue with them (most dispatchers have received at least &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emergencydispatch.org/CertEMDCourse&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;basic&lt;/a&gt; training in emergency medical procedures as directed by state and national standards)*. &#xA;&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Your location may also make a difference; if you are in a rural area you may need to more carefully weigh your options. Just be sure you make the calmest, most logical decisions possible and do your best to stay calm and keep the child calm. If you are calm and confident, the child will feel that and feel more comfortable.&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*I included the part about making sure dispatch knows that the child is altered because they may ask you to go ahead with treatment depending on the situation. In the case of someone suffering from hypoglycemia - low blood sugar -, you may well be asked to rub honey or some such into the person's gums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastActivityDate="2015-01-30T03:35:10.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-30T07:16:32.860" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know you're young for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody has a life manual. &#xA;But I can tell you one thing: Even if the divorce of your parents seems to be a bad thing and its gonna hurt you, EVERYTHING is for GOOD.&#xA;You'll become a stronger person, you'll value the meaning of family much more than your parents did so you'll be able, in the future, to make your own family without making the same mistakes your parents did. &#xA;You are in this world to became a better human been than your antecesors and hopefully, help others in your way.&#xA;The more you suffer, the stronger you'll become.&#xA;Just move on little buddy, I know it sounds a little thug but I know you will get over it because it seems that you want to solve your problem. You're in the right way, believe me :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to share your feelings with a good friend or a relative. It's healthy to talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have a friend here for everything I can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regards little buddy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13489" LastActivityDate="2015-01-30T07:16:32.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18451" CreationDate="2015-01-30T15:39:00.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You do not need to worry about your son making friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids that age are really good at being social.  He may be a little distant in the beginning, but he'll quickly make friends.  Assuming the classes have lunch/recess together, then your son will also be able to see his old friends during that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, kids get switched back and forth between those classes regularly.  When I was in school, about 50% of the kids in each class got swapped back-and-forth each year.  This was in part to help broaden our social access, and build a larger community for ourselves when we eventually went into middle school and high school.  I imagine that there are other parents in your situation where their kids got put in the &quot;wrong&quot; class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worst case, if your son has problems making friends, there's quite a few things you can do.  But the most important thing is &lt;strong&gt;don't force it&lt;/strong&gt;.  If your son feels like he's being forced into having certain friends, it will probably backfire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more information, and some more tips, I refer you to this great article: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-help-your-child-make-friends_67771.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-help-your-child-make-friends_67771.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11389" LastEditorUserId="11389" LastEditDate="2015-02-09T15:11:04.667" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T15:11:04.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-31T00:54:22.667" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You cannot force your parents to stay married.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if your parents are under the illusion that &quot;children suffer in a bad marriage&quot; or &quot;the kids will understand&quot; or &quot;it will all work out for the best&quot;, you can speak up.  And now is the best time to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider telling your dad,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I love you.  I love Mom.  I want you to be happy together.  Divorce is &lt;strong&gt;evil&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your dad is &lt;strong&gt;neither&lt;/strong&gt; alcoholic, depressed, suicidal, &lt;strong&gt;nor&lt;/strong&gt; violent consider telling him that divorce is worse (for the survivors) than death.  (I have seen strong evidence for this in the work of Wallerstein, Gottman, and Malloy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If either you or &lt;strong&gt;either&lt;/strong&gt; of your parents is religious, ask your dad if he has talked about what he is going through with the priest/pastor/minister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can afford it, give him a copy of &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0786886161&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by Judith Wallerstein.  She followed up with the children of &quot;best case scenario&quot; divorces in a San Francisco suburb -- and the results were, &lt;em&gt;um&lt;/em&gt;, not good.  If you cannot afford it, borrow a copy from a library and lend it to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other good resources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0609805797&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, by John Gottman and Nan Silver.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://marriedmansexlife.com/triage-your-relationship-and-the-911-er-category/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MMSL&lt;/a&gt; (This website is meant for either your father or your mother.  With a &quot;Gold&quot; subscription, they can use separate areas of the website.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13504" LastActivityDate="2015-01-31T00:54:22.667" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10755" CreationDate="2015-01-31T06:12:16.690" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Vaseline is the best.  Most lotions will sting very chapped skin and the child will resist, but vaseline doesn't sting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13508" LastActivityDate="2015-01-31T06:12:16.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11453" CreationDate="2015-01-31T17:11:16.190" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I'm on the spectrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This situation has been very stressful to my family. I try to talk to my son with direct eye contact, and all I get in return is disrespect, yelling, asking me &quot;what?&quot; and looking away because he doesn't want me looking at him. He requires a lot of my attention and I don't ever get a break. But it seems like he is always doing something repeatedly that he has been told not to do and for which he knows that there will be a consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the same problem with making eye contact. The first thing you need to realize, it's really not his fault and he's probably trying really hard to make sense of everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the kicker, unknowingly, you're making it more difficult for him. Allow me to explain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People on the spectrum process information differently and a bit slower than neurotypical people. Your son (and others like him, like me) can't keep up with your facial expressions and eye movements; and everything you're telling him. It's &lt;strong&gt;too&lt;/strong&gt; much information to process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's already trying to tell you &quot;Mommy, stop it's too much!&quot; by looking away, he's not being disrespectful at all. In fact, it's highly stressful to him to make eye contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's also (probably) not being disrespectful when he yells at you and ask &quot;what?&quot; it's just a case of you misinterpreting what's happening. Like I said, it's too much information to process. He can't focus on your face while also hearing what you're saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to make him comfortable and allow him not to look at you; don't force him to make eye contact (because honestly, it's just going to damage your relationship with him; which you're already experiencing, so let's make things better); and tell him what you want in a clear and concise manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, if he's being inappropriate with the dog it simply means he doesn't know what he's doing is wrong and he's not registering what you're saying. autistic individuals have a lot of difficulty knowing what is OK and what isn't, this will be OK when he gets older, provided you teach him in a manner he understands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, try to tell him (calmly): &quot;&amp;lt;name [to get his attention; and wait till you have it]&amp;gt;, you shouldn't write the dog. It hurts . Do you understand?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you'll find that far more effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was diagnosed recently (I'm 21); and the eye-thing was then explained to me. I'm currently learning how to focus on people their noses rather than on people's eyes or facial expressions, it's difficult - but not impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned he wasn't formally diagnosed; &lt;strong&gt;please&lt;/strong&gt; do yourself and him a favor and get him diagnosed; it's a label, yes, but it opens doors to help him function better in life and help you understand why he does certain things and deal with them appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't want him to turn 21 one day and know he failed school because the social interaction was too much; etc. Early intervention from &lt;em&gt;specialized&lt;/em&gt; specialists is extremely important!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the moving: autistic individuals have a huge problem dealing with these events, if something is going to change - it's vital that you tell him ahead of time and prepare him for it. A last minute notice is going to cause a lot of problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last note; things may not seem that bad now but from my own experience, ASD isn't that much fun, the longer you have it - the more problems it's going to cause, unless, you were thought to deal with it - and the sooner that starts the more problems can be prevented and the better his and your quality of life will improve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13188" LastActivityDate="2015-01-31T17:11:16.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-01-31T23:52:02.853" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like others have said, you can't really do anything to prevent your parent's divorce. It is their decision, not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents went through cycles of separation, getting back together, divorce, remarriage, and a second divorce. This started when I was 11, and the second divorce was when I was 24. They are now both married to different people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was absolute hell for them, family, and close friends. Family and friends who worked hard to get them back together came to regret it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do have a few suggestions, some that other people have already made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not take sides, no matter what the reasons for the marriage&#xA;break-up were. No matter what (you think) you know, there will&#xA;invariably be other things between them you don't know - and that are&#xA;none of your business.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make it clear to both of them you don't want to be a sounding board&#xA;for problems with their marriage nor will you carry messages between&#xA;them (i.e. they should talk with each other through their problems,&#xA;not through you).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep in touch with both of them. Build a relationship with each&#xA;them as individuals, and don't condition a relationship with either&#xA;on them being together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage them to seek counseling, if they want to repair things. &#xA;Drop it if either is adamant in not wanting counseling, or they don't&#xA;want to reconcile.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't attempt to encourage or force them back together (e.g.&#xA;emotional blackmail, highlighting obligations, refusing contact with&#xA;one or the other to encourage them back together). Unless&#xA;reconciling is their choice, it will not work.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You don't need to hide from them the fact that their break-up is, and&#xA;will be, difficult for you. That is a given. However, don't use&#xA;that as a lever to push them together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also, if they do reconcile, don't expect their relationship to be the&#xA;same. The fact that separation and divorce has happened will change&#xA;how they relate to each other, and it will take time for them to find&#xA;a new balance.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13518" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-02T17:33:30.830" LastActivityDate="2015-02-02T17:33:30.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18530" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-01T00:00:18.543" Score="0" ViewCount="3292" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a son of about 14 years old, using his laptop to do schoolwork, secretly plays video games instead, should it be the parent's responsibility to find this out and stop him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the son finds it hard to resist playing video games when he should be doing homework, how (without getting in too much trouble!) can he talk to his parents about this issue and get help from his parents in developing the self-discipline he needs to get his schoolwork done?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13442" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-02-01T10:37:19.737" LastActivityDate="2015-02-01T15:52:29.547" Title="Teen secretly playing video games when should be doing homework" Tags="|teen|age-appropriate|video-games|homework|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="16" ClosedDate="2015-02-01T17:29:55.943" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18530" CreationDate="2015-02-01T15:52:29.547" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-a0034857.pdf&quot;&gt;research on the benefits of gaming&lt;/a&gt;, and the parents should read it. If the child doesn't know about it, he can do some research and supply it to the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the son can calmly and politely explain his reasoning for wanting to play games, and demonstrate that he's done the research into why gaming can be good, then he may change his parents' minds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the parents allow their child to openly play video games, for a limited time, then they'd likely be eliminating their son's need for subversive behavior. Since he'd be allowed access to his laptop at times &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; than when doing homework, he'd be able to play without cutting into his homework time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the import things the son will have to do as part of this discussion is &lt;strong&gt;show that he can get his homework done&lt;/strong&gt; without it being an issue. If he's currently having trouble getting his homework done, his parents aren't likely going to &quot;reward&quot; him with video games. &lt;strong&gt;He needs to demonstrate a level of maturity that shows he's willing to work for the things he wants&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A great way to get homework done is to specifically schedule time in your day to work on your homework. Work somewhere that's as free of distractions as you can, and &lt;em&gt;plan&lt;/em&gt; on doing homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While working on homework, break it up into manageable sections. You don't have to do everything in one straight block. Pick a goal that will take 15-20 minutes. Once you've finished that goal, take break: read some Facebook or Twitter, get up and walk, get a drink, watch a short YouTube video, whatever you're allowed to do. Then, after a couple minutes, get back to the homework and set another short goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-02-01T15:52:29.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-02-02T04:50:05.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe the real issue is that your son simply has too much on his plate. You say that he has piano &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; sports and other courses going on, not to mention school, homework and maybe other commitments. Does he have enough time for unstructured playing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want him to learn the piano, the solution may be as simple as eliminating a few other of his commitments. Look at the total number of hours that are already planned for him. When I grew up, I usually had at least two or three hours per day for free play time, and that still feels like a good number.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13529" LastActivityDate="2015-02-02T04:50:05.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12079" CreationDate="2015-02-02T06:07:18.270" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's difficult to interpret by what you would describe as a smart mouth.  I don't spank my kids or raise a hand to them.  Violence begets violence.  I have an 18 year old and a 13 year old.  They're good kids.  Really great, wonderful kids.  Pick your battles with your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teen years are bound to bring a little rebellion.  I swore at times someone replaced my son with an alien; we're talking complete meltdowns when I asked him to give me his phone, because he wasn't doing the chores I asked him to. I think it was hormones, more than anything.  He's mellowed. We've gotten through the worst of teen struggles with him, and now they are cropping up with my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're growing, making a statement of who they are.  They're going to be opinionated, sometimes argumentative.  They're learning how to have verbal discussions, disagree, express their views, opinions, and sometimes argue, just like adults do.  How you respond is how you teach them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 13 year old is somewhat of a know it all. Lots of patience and love are needed in dealing with that.  It's not easy.  I've had to walk away at times.  Sometimes she walks off in a huff.  They're entitled to their emotions, they're entitled to get angry at times.  Don't you?  Don't deny them that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say your kids are good kids, know right from wrong, so I'm trying to understand the problem?  Give them a little breathing room.  You've taken so many of your daughter's possessions away, even her clothing, and that concerns me. Return her possessions, give her a hug, and talk to her.  Talk to her like one human being to another.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13530" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-02T12:58:54.553" LastActivityDate="2015-02-02T12:58:54.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18535" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18537" CreationDate="2015-02-02T06:42:26.340" Score="12" ViewCount="1567" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and our two children (a five year old daughter and a one year old son) are about to move away to a different city, for a mix of reasons.  This is likely to lead to a long distance relationship for an indefinite period of time.  I'm going to be trying to spend weekends with them every week.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter and I are very close and I have made plans to keep things going  between us, or at least as well as possible in these circumstances.  But my son is just one.  He and I have bonded, but his mother is definitely the primary caregiver.  If I'm only going to be around for a day or two in a week, what kind of activities can I engage in with him at this age that will be useful?  Just the normal playing, or should I try for something specific to this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13531" LastActivityDate="2015-02-02T23:23:42.783" Title="Maintaining contact with a one year old in a long distance situation" Tags="|toddler|separation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18535" CreationDate="2015-02-02T13:17:55.253" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not recommend trying to be unusually exciting or interesting to him on those weekend visits. Once you are able to be with him every day again, he might be confused if you're less engaged with him then -- so behave towards him just as you normally would, more or less. The same games you currently play, reading books, talking, and so on (adjusting as he ages).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides that, however, try to think of ways that you can be &lt;em&gt;visible&lt;/em&gt; to him throughout the week, even though you may not be &lt;em&gt;physically present&lt;/em&gt;. (Many of these work equally well for your spouse and older child, of course.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If technically possible, have nightly video chats so you can talk together as a family for a while and he sees you smiling and talking to him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If that isn't available, try for at least a phone call so he hears your voice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look for ways to have a voice or video recording of you talking to him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have photographs around their home that include you and the family, so you can be regularly pointed out. &quot;Here is Daddy! We all love Daddy. Daddy will be visiting in a few days again, that will be fun.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plan ahead for how &quot;Where is Daddy&quot; questions will be dealt with, which will probably be extremely frequent right after you leave but are also likely any day. (Whenever my spouse or I go on a business trip, the absent parent is &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; more in demand, particularly when the present parent has turned down a request to eat more cookies, watch more television, or stay up late.) Having a consistent explanation, a calm response, and a redirection method (e.g. looking at a photograph and explaining that Daddy will be back in 5 days) can help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much of this is based largely on my personal experience (me and two kids were in another state for multiple weeks once, and there have been occasional smaller chunks of time due to business trips), but you can also find a lot of great suggestions by searching for &quot;long distance parenting&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-02T13:51:09.080" LastActivityDate="2015-02-02T13:51:09.080" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="922" CreationDate="2015-02-02T15:58:06.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize I am a bit late for this question, but I only just found it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are the good approaches to teach her ways to understand and use first and second persons in speech?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you will have found out by now, this was nothing to worry about, because your child presumably has learned it within probably 6 months of you asking this question. I suspect no amount of help regarding speech would have made any difference to Sonya. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason for this is that it is sometimes in their third year children gradually develop a &lt;em&gt;self-consciousness&lt;/em&gt;: the ability every human has to distinguish between &lt;em&gt;&quot;me&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and the rest of the world. This is necessary in order to recognize yourself in the mirror (touch a speck on your cheek which you see in the mirror) – and to be able to say &lt;em&gt;&quot;I&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;&quot;me&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;&quot;you&quot;&lt;/em&gt;. It's a major step-up in the child's mental abilities and distinguishes us from most of the rest of the landscape. (Besides apes, dolphins, elephants, and a few birds from the crow family there aren't many species who can identify themselves in the mirror.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think all my children were able to say &lt;em&gt;&quot;I&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;&quot;you&quot;&lt;/em&gt; before their 3rd birthday. If a child is not able to do that by that time, I'd ask a doctor about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-10-12T18:03:24.373" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T18:03:24.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18476" CreationDate="2015-02-02T17:47:02.047" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cut out TV and do a really structured set of tasks. Structured tasks, as in &quot;We're going to drawing now until the big hand gets to the number 4&quot;. Talk, listen, and get their buy in. Point out when they've enjoyed something that they've stuck at for a period of time, even if it's a short time. Ask them how they feel when they are bored. &quot;Do you feel happy right now?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sciencey bit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Studies show (I would cite, but there is so much that Google throws up I don't need to) that TV reduces attention span in children. Neil Postman, in &quot;The Disappearance of Childhood&quot; expounds the reasons for this very well. TV is not an interactive medium, at all. It &lt;em&gt;requires&lt;/em&gt; the watcher to be passive and non-proactive. Children especially can spend hours watching TV that's well outside their realm of understanding, neither remembering nor processing any of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personal Experience Bit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my kids go to grandmas, they will watch upwards of 6 hours of TV a day. (Grandma won't admit to this, but unfortunately it's the truth). They are only awake for 13 hours a day as they are little. When they come back, they are unable to play independently, unable to focus on tasks and have their creativity shot to pieces. It takes a good few days of lots of structured tasks, interaction etc to get them back to where they were before, being the beautiful, creative creatures that &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; children are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the structured tasks, I've been encouraged to do this when we babysit a child who has had a tough upbringing and finds it difficult to focus on anything due to trauma. Very structured timetables work very well for them and they enjoys playing like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying TV is entirely to blame. It may be nothing at all and you may only let them watch 40 mins a day. Experts from the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.trc-uk.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;TRC&lt;/a&gt; have found that sometimes children can't focus on things due to experiences that they've had, things that have happened to them, maybe at school or something, that have not been good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I will firmly say though is please don't write this off as ADHD and med your child up. There is a reason there are entire countries in the developed Western world that do not think that ADHD is actually a real condition, and that most cases are caused by trauma which will not medicate away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not meant to at all accuse, but help. If it is trauma, then there are many sources and most are not in the home. It could actually just be boredom and she'll grow out of it when she finds something that interests her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-02-03T09:55:17.840" LastActivityDate="2015-02-03T09:55:17.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18540" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-02T20:34:38.847" Score="0" ViewCount="887" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age should mathematical / logical concepts be introduced to a child?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that parents should be held more responsible even than schools in the educational process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13537" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-02-02T21:38:51.977" LastActivityDate="2015-02-03T13:31:17.400" Title="At what age is it best to teach a child mathematics? At what pace?" Tags="|teaching|middle-childhood|math|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2015-02-06T13:05:46.800" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18540" CreationDate="2015-02-02T22:45:09.690" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best age is &quot;when you need them&quot;. But let me elaborate:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Math starts &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; before school, because you need mathematical concepts to explain the everyday world. But we usually don't call it &quot;Math&quot;, unless we are thinking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start with simple counting: &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Count the apples when buying them at the store. Count the chairs at the table. Count fingers, toes, books and Legos. Count family members - is everyone home? &lt;br&gt;Ask for help when cooking: Give me two eggs. Measure four tablespoons of sugar. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continue with easy calculations and comparisons: &lt;br&gt;&#xA; How many glasses must be put on the table when every family member needs one? And when we have a guest? Or two? &lt;br&gt; How many cookies are left in the jar? Is that enough so that every family member gets one? Perhaps even two? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On to fractions:&lt;br&gt;&#xA; Start with one apple, cut in half. Then quarters. Move on to a pie or a square/rectangular cake (use the correct terms!). Compare: Mommy's shoe is as long as two toddler shoes, so one toddler shoe is as long as half a mommy shoe. Introduce first times: half past, quarter to...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Geometry:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It's always a good idea to use proper names. Find hidden shapes. A square sandwich can be cut into two triangles. Or four. Or two rectangles. Or four squares again...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But always remember: These concepts should be introduced gradually. It doesn't make sense to think too hard and present these ideas as a lecture. Children are curious and learn &quot;in passing&quot;. Use opportunities as they come up. And there will be plenty if you share your life with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-02-02T22:52:12.513" LastActivityDate="2015-02-02T22:52:12.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18535" CreationDate="2015-02-02T23:23:42.783" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking solely from the point of view of the father of a one year old, and what's different there, I would say: attention.  Give him as much attention as you can - probably more than you give your daughter.  One year olds need a lot of attention, both to help form a bond with you, and to grow and mature intellectually and emotionally.  This will change as he ages, and you can probably lay off some as that happens - but it is vital at 1 to get personal interactions and attention as much as possible.  This would be true even if you were living at home with him - that you're not makes it doubly as important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I absolutely agree that you shouldn't be a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alison-patton/uncle-dad-syndrome_b_2986705.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Disney Dad&lt;/a&gt;, but you can select activities that are more interactive with you and be more conscious to pay attention to him than you might otherwise.   Rather than taking in a movie, go to a children's museum where you can play with him; go to a park, and run around with him.  Make sure you're still requiring him to behave as he should, and not just picking him up directly to go to the park or whatnot - it should be part of a normal routine, just as if you were there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're at home, read books to him, talk to him.  Give him your undivided attention as much as is reasonable.  He probably gets less attention than he would during the week if you were there - because Mom has to do all of the housework, perhaps work, and do other things that she would get help with if you were there.  During this time - in particular between 1 and 2 - attention and interaction are &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; important to a child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can do other things (like video chat, etc.), I would as well; in addition, create a lot of photos and videos of the two of you interacting.  My one year old loves watching pictures of himself and his brother and myself when we do activities - it helps him remember fond times, and is comforting to see familiar faces (including his own).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-02T23:23:42.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18540" CreationDate="2015-02-03T00:39:46.683" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As early as possible (but not earlier) and at whatever pace the child can keep up with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find pocket money is an excellent tool to learn to count, add and subtract, provides incentives to get it right, but earlier on, there are many games you can use to tickle the math neurones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child starts reasoning about his surroundings (which varies from one child to another but usually starts before the age of 5) you can start introducing basic logic into their reasoning (if A, then also B?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note, though, that my oldest finds me particularly annoying, especially when she asks me a question and I respond with a question, and often the same question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="796" LastActivityDate="2015-02-03T00:39:46.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18548" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-03T04:31:24.257" Score="1" ViewCount="353" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I get an epidural, I won't feel anything. Can I just lie there peacefully and relax while the baby just slides out on it's own or do I have to push? &lt;br&gt;The pushing part seems so violent, and I'm worried about tearing as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13541" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-02-20T06:11:24.673" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T06:11:24.673" Title="Do I have to 'push' during birth?" Tags="|birth|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18548" CreationDate="2015-02-03T04:35:29.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Epidural anesthesia &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidural#Epidural_analgesia_during_childbirth&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;article on wikipedia&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your doctor will be able to confirm what they will use. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Epidural analgesia is just for pain relief. You will feel the pressure and the compulsion to push but you will not be able to feel most of the pain. How much you need to push will depend on the size and position of the baby and whether or not the head is engaged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Epidural anesthesia will not only take away the pain but will also take away muscle control this means you will not be able to push.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the violence and tearing, most first time mothers opting for natural delivery experience a perineal tearing. Again, your doctor may decide to perform an &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episiotomy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;episiotomy&lt;/a&gt; to prevent tearing. You can reduce the risk to some extent by performing regular perineal massage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13542" LastEditorUserId="13542" LastEditDate="2015-02-03T05:00:12.890" LastActivityDate="2015-02-03T05:00:12.890" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18548" CreationDate="2015-02-03T06:01:04.440" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://americanpregnancy.org/labor-and-birth/epidural/&quot;&gt;Epidurals&lt;/a&gt; are a regional anesthesia, also referred to as local anesthesia. This means that it blocks &lt;em&gt;pain&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_epidural-pain-relief-for-labor_1489911.bc#articlesection1&quot;&gt;but not all sensation&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Epidurals are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_relaxant&quot;&gt;muscle relaxant&lt;/a&gt;, and for good reason! Childbirth requires the use of pelvic floor muscles (and some others, such as those used to involuntarily to dilate the cervix).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, some women still have trouble effectively feeling the pressure that indicates the need to push, requiring additional assistance from those performing the delivery (such as doctors, midwives, and nurses).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very important to push, and the epidural &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; make it harder to do so properly. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22161362&quot;&gt;Research&lt;/a&gt; shows that epidurals can actually increase labor time and pushing stage time. The fact that pushing stage time can increase during epidurals shows that, &lt;strong&gt;yes, pushing is still required with epidurals&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, the baby will definitely not slide out &quot;on it's own.&quot; The same research above that indicates epidurals can increase labor times also show that they can lead to an increased chance of assisted vaginal birth. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_assisted-vaginal-delivery_1451360.bc&quot;&gt;Assisted vaginal birth&lt;/a&gt; refers to the use of objects like vacuum suction devices and forceps. This is evidence that an newborn can't just naturally make it's way out of the mother. The mother needs to push properly or external tools become necessary. It may even require a Cesarean section. Your healthcare provider should be able to give you some literature about the risks and benefits of the epidural, and what methods they use in case of complications. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pushing and labor is often displayed in media as being incredibly painful. When we see women giving birth on TV or in movies they're almost always shown as: 1) &quot;Hormonally&quot; angry 2) Screaming and crying 3) Demanding of drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; an accurate depiction of most deliveries. It's merely what makes for easy TV (but not good, in my opinion). This poor portrayal of labor and delivery often increases the fear and anxiety in mothers, which plays negatively into the &lt;a href=&quot;http://pregnancy.about.com/od/childbirtheduc/ss/cbeclass1_3.htm&quot;&gt;Fear-Tension-Pain cycle&lt;/a&gt;. As a mother anticipates more severe pain than what she might actually endure she becomes more tense, which may actually increase her sensitivity to pain or cause certain activities to be more painful, as she's using tense muscles to do them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to have a proper expectation of the delivery process, and to be aware of your available pain-management techniques. If you're planning on having an epidural, you likely won't have to worry about much pain during delivery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as perineal tearing goes, research shows that it's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_episiotomy_165.bc#articlesection2&quot;&gt;better to have natural tearing&lt;/a&gt; than to have an episiotomy. Natural tearing tends to heal more quickly and be less severe (as the body naturally tears only as much as necessary). The cuts from a doctor for an episiotomy can be too long, or increase the chances of excessive tearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to understand that &lt;strong&gt;perineal tearing happens based on the size of your newborn's head or body, not how much you push&lt;/strong&gt;. As the name implies, it's a natural process. &lt;em&gt;If&lt;/em&gt; a tear happens and it causes too much discomfort, it can be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_perineal-tears_1451354.bc?page=2&quot;&gt;treated with pain medication&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-03T06:40:09.267" LastActivityDate="2015-02-03T06:40:09.267" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18393" CreationDate="2015-02-03T12:08:02.540" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;What follows assumes you've tried the method of explaining to the child why she should behave a certain way, and that hasn't worked.  (Sadly, it turns out that understanding and behavior are only very weakly linked with one another.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the science of operant conditioning would suggest you do: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be very specific about what you want. Often, this means identifying the positive opposite of what you don't want. If you don't know what behavior you want to cultivate, it will be hard to train.  Sometimes it's a long list. That's OK, just pick your top two or three and start there.  For our extremely energetic 4yo boy, it was (a) sitting in his chair for the entire meal, (b) asking for and receiving permission before leaving the table (&quot;May I please be excused?&quot;), (c) trying at least one bite of everything on his plate, (d) leaving what he didn't like on his plate without complaint (no 'Gross!' or 'I hate it!'), (e) asking politely for things he wanted ('please pass the..'); (f) engaging in conversation with grown-ups. We started with a &amp;amp; b, then did c, d, and e, then f. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At least three times a meal, praise your child for doing what she should be doing when she does it.  The praise should: (a) immediately follow the behavior you want to reinforce, (b) be enthusiastic, (c) describe exactly is good, and (d) be accompanied by something nonverbal like an affectionate touch or high-five. Three or more times a meal may seem like it's a lot, and it would be if you had to do it forever.  But you won't!  After a week or two, you'll find you won't be doing it all because your child will just start to do the thing you are praising.  (Congratulations, you've just helped your child develop a good habit!) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ignore the bad behavior entirely. Behavior experts agree that emotional responses -- even negative ones -- reinforce behavior.  (I find this very frustrating.  If I could teach my child by scolding, I would.  Personally, I find scolding to be very satisfying for me in the moment -- it's the main habit I've had to train myself out of!) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are other ways to reward good behavior: stickers, etc. But the best and easiest is your praise and affection.  Children crave it, and respond to it. And guess what: it works in tons of other situations, too!  Try it out science-style: keep a lab-style journal of your effort for two weeks, and track the number of bad behaviors.  When I first tried this out, it was like magic -- like when you see physics in action.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that recommend this method: (1) it is very simple and explicit; (2) it is based on science: research shows that this type of reward in particular increases compliance; (3) it is loving &amp;amp; non-shaming; (4) it doesn't reinforce the bad behavior with scolding, escalating, or punishment. And, don't forget: you get to have a lot of loving and affectionate interactions with your child!  It's win-win! (Well, except for having to give up on scolding.)   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more details, have a look at Alan Kazdin, Everyday Parenting Techniques. Also, I love that science helped me help my kid to be happy and well-behaved. Yay, science!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13544" LastEditorUserId="13544" LastEditDate="2015-02-04T20:05:57.477" LastActivityDate="2015-02-04T20:05:57.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18540" CreationDate="2015-02-03T13:31:17.400" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The current trend in test-driven school systems like in the United States is to introduce the formal academics too early.  By &quot;formal&quot; I mean where you sit down with a page full of problems that you solve for its own sake.  That means the role of parents today is largely helping your children keep up and not feel frustrated or stupid at not quite being ready for what they're expected to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The informal math usually comes fairly naturally to parents, and is introduced at the pace of the child's curiosity, as in Stephie's &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18541/644&quot;&gt;excellent answer&lt;/a&gt;.  If you are homeschooling, you introduce the formal concepts alongside the informal when you see the child is ready to accept them.  For example, your child asks good questions when you are doubling a recipe, so you schedule a formal lesson on multiplying fractions.  For another example, we taught my son to subtract two-digit numbers when he started wondering how old he would be in different years.  Consider the advanced math Homer Hickam learned in &lt;em&gt;October Sky&lt;/em&gt; to further his rocket hobby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children learn best at their own individual pace, and they give off plenty of clues as to what that pace is.  Try to learn to recognize those clues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-02-03T13:31:17.400" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6397" CreationDate="2015-02-03T17:18:15.977" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a behavior analyst, and I can assure that praise is totally alright to do and in fact has been shown time and time again to be effective--IF praise is a motivator for the particular child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with you as a parent, and there is nothing wrong with your child. However, as the adult (teacher, or parent, or etc), it is up to you to ask and/or find out what IS motivating to them---extrinsically (like toys, or candy, or reading a favorite book) and intrinsically (like praise, or giving them a responsibility around the house, or feeling accomplished). Students, especially young ones, will naturally move from wanting extrinsic and external rewards to intrinsic and internal rewards--HOWEVER, even as adults, we get reinforced extrinsically naturally by our jobs (i.e., a paycheck)... so there is also nothing wrong with extrinsic reward. I do understand where you are coming from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13548" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-03T20:29:29.510" LastActivityDate="2015-02-03T20:29:29.510" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18555" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18556" CreationDate="2015-02-03T22:23:31.363" Score="3" ViewCount="1030" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes my oldest(8yo) shows good character and leadership in choosing not to do what she knows she should not do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know her other siblings(6yo,3yo) look up to her. I have been praising her immediately when I see her do good. The younger children are always pushing-the-envelope on what they can get away with. But now I am worried that this might cause animosity or jealousy with the younger children. I haven't noticed it yet, but I'm worried they might bicker about who is the favorite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am thinking about changing my approach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Instead of publiclly rewarding her, should I praise my oldest child in a more private manner?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1973" LastActivityDate="2015-02-04T01:17:31.010" Title="Should I praise my oldest child infront of their siblings?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|teaching|reward|praise|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18555" CreationDate="2015-02-04T01:17:31.010" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt;: Feel free to praise your children in front of each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of popular literature out there dealing with this issue. This answer is more roundabout because it relies to some degree on studies, which don't often address exactly the issue that is of concern to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almost 80% of children grow up with at least one brother or sister. Even though they may not get along all the time, siblings play very positive roles in each other’s lives. Brothers and sisters learn their first lessons about many things, like sharing and getting along with others from one another. They also learn parental values from observation of interactions between their parents and siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praise is an important part of learning what is and isn't appropriate and desired behavior. In the American Academy of Pediatricians' &lt;a href=&quot;http://brightfutures.aap.org/&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Bright Futures&lt;/em&gt; program&lt;/a&gt;, reminding a parent about the value of praise is a prominent theme. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents feel it is important to treat each child the same way. They don't want one child to think they love the other more. Treating your children differently doesn't have to mean you are playing favorites. Each child is an individual, and you should treat him that way. That's part of what makes each child a unique person. It is a way of showing that you appreciate how special each child is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praise has most often been studied as a motivator for students. it's shocking that in some school settings, comments about what a student had done incorrectly were 15 times more frequent than comments about what had been done well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Provided that praise is perceived as sincere&lt;/strong&gt;, it is particularly beneficial to motivation when it encourages performance attributions to controllable causes, promotes autonomy, enhances competence without an over-reliance on social comparisons, and conveys attainable standards and expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, praising children for things they are able to control (like effort: &quot;You tried hard and did well.&quot;) rather than an uncontrollable factor (like intelligence: &quot;You did well. You're smart.&quot;) had a &lt;strong&gt;much greater beneficial effect&lt;/strong&gt; on children (many studies show that praising a child's intelligence fosters fear rather than ability.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding whether to do so in front of the other children, studies have shown that modeling good behavior is important. In school settings, children hearing a child getting praise improve their behavior (vicarious praise). However, for this to be a lasting effect, the observer must also receive intermittent praise. (This effect has been borne out in multiple studies.) Other studies show that older siblings are often important role models for younger children (one common outcome that is measurable is academic success. The younger sibling is more likely to be academically successful if the older sibling is; the converse is also true, but less well understood.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pulling a child aside each time to praise them can be onerous, and robs the observing child of reinforcement of your values, so do praise your children in front of each other, but try to praise each child (&lt;strong&gt;if it can be done sincerely&lt;/strong&gt;) for their efforts and achievements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid comparing your children in front of them, and if one child gets praise from a stranger, it's not unreasonable be proud of that child, but if no one praises the siblings, you can correct that by mentioning their accomplishments and how proud you are of them as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bradthiessen.com/html5/m340/4j%20HowNottoTalk.pdf&quot;&gt;How Not to Talk to Your Kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1307908/&quot;&gt;Vicarious reinforcement: Expected and unexpected effects&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://escholarship.org/uc/item/8db6b27b#page-29&quot;&gt;Sibling Relationship Predictors of Academic Achievement in Adolescents&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-04T01:17:31.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18558" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-04T09:13:58.910" Score="1" ViewCount="619" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5-year-old daughter hardly eats anything since last year. She did a lot better about 4/5 months ago. She won't eat fruit or vegetables or anything sweet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Due to getting my mum's genes, she is tall and has chubby cheeks, so doctors and health visitors think she's healthy. She is not at all. She complains about her joints hurting, she wakes up at least 3 times at night, and I have no choice but to give her milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am 7 and a half months pregnant and am really getting concerned because she should be eating like her age group does. I've tried vitamin drops and syrups, but they don't work. She won't even touch her favourite foods. She'll say they're yummy, but won't eat them. She can't have milk all the time only. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she is suffering from very bad constipation, and I hate to see her in pain. Please anyone who can help me, I would appreciate it a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13551" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-07T17:13:17.170" LastActivityDate="2018-09-07T17:13:17.170" Title="How to make my 2.5-year-old daughter, who has lost her appetite, eat again?" Tags="|toddler|health|eating|constipation|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18558" CreationDate="2015-02-04T15:27:25.837" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This definitely sounds like a problem you may need to approach the doctors with.  If she's truly not eating sufficiently for a long period of time, you need to find out why; there are some conditions that manifest as an unwillingness to eat.  She may also be allergic to something common which is causing digestive upset.  On the other hand, she may just be growing; it's very complicated to judge this sort of thing without data.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way to approach your doctor is to keep a food/health journal for your daughter.  Write down &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; she eats, and is offered.  Get a scale and actually weigh the food if needed to accurately describe exactly what she is eating.  Entries like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2/5/2015.  Woke @ 3am, 5am, 6am; stayed awake after 6am.  Complained about legs hurting.&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breakfast (7am) : 1 scrambled egg, orange juice.  She ate about 1/4 of the egg and drank one sip of the juice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Snack (10am): 1 fruit bar, water.  She drank half of the glass of water, and ate about half of the bar.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lunch (12pm): About 75g ham, a slice of bread, a slice of Cheddar cheese, milk.  She drank most of the milk, but didn't eat any ham or bread.  She did eat half of the cheese slice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Snack (2pm): One apple, water.  She drank 1/2 the glass of water and ate one slice of apple (1/8 slices of a medium apple).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dinner (5pm): One lamb chop, mashed potatoes, green beans, and water.  She drank the whole glass of water and ate most of the lamb chop, two bites of mashed potatoes, and three or four green beans.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dessert (6pm): A small bowl of blueberries (30g). She ate two or three blueberries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her mood for the day was quiet; she played outside some but did not want to play with others.  Two emotional outbursts but neither serious.  She went to bed without very much fussing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That would be a reasonable journal for the day.  Keep that for two weeks or so, making sure to have every single meal fully documented, and notes on how her mood was, how she slept, how her bone pain felt (where it hurt, how often she complained, etc).  Then take that to the doctor, and use the journal to show him/her exactly why you are concerned about your child.  It's very common for parents to come to the doctor with &quot;My kids won't eat&quot;, but often they eat fine: so you need to get enough information for the doctor to completely understand why your concern is a legitimate concern, and to be able to judge what the right action is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-04T15:27:25.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18476" CreationDate="2015-02-04T19:02:14.723" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know a number of parents with AD(H)D children, including myself. Some of our children are medicated, some aren't. Indeed, at such a young age it's highly unusual for medication to be recommended -- instead, there are a variety of suggestions for behavioral interventions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found that those suggestion are useful for neurotypical children, too. &lt;em&gt;Any&lt;/em&gt; child can benefit from making activities interesting and engaging, redirecting bad behavior instead of reprimanding, having an organized schedule and structured life -- I find the advice to be &lt;em&gt;useful for all three of my children&lt;/em&gt;, not just the one officially diagnosed as ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Home Behavior&lt;/strong&gt; is something you can directly influence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the most common (and, anecdotally from my experience, effective) suggestions focus on establishing routine, providing a distraction-free space for homework or study, and breaking jobs down into smaller, manageable tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Divide a big task or homework assignment into smaller, manageable tasks.&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;Do your homework&quot; will work for my oldest child, but is an overwhelming demand for her younger brother. Instead we sit down and look at what the homework is (some reading, practice spelling words, two math sheets), plan what order it will get done in, write in places to take breaks (e.g. have a snack after finishing the spelling, then back to work).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Supervise.&lt;/strong&gt; Stay nearby while the work gets done. Gently remind what the topic or task is if attention seems to be wandering -- something simple like, &quot;How's your math going?&quot; or &quot;You're making good progress so far,&quot; or &quot;I appreciate the effort you're putting in,&quot; helps snap his concentration back from that interesting leaf outside back to what he was &lt;em&gt;supposed&lt;/em&gt; to be looking at. The goal is not to do the homework, and not even necessarily to sit there prompting for each addition problem -- provide the extra focus that's naturally lacking, be a resource to help adjust the homework plan if it turns out something is harder (or easier!) than expected, and just be a comforting presence so it doesn't feel like ME VERSUS HOMEWORK.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Concentrate on positive statements and praise.&lt;/strong&gt; Kids with attention problems get used to constantly being told that they are bad at paying attention. Since they really are trying and just can't do as well as expected, this can lead to a lot of self-blame and low self-esteem. Finding opportunities to praise even the littlest successes -- once we learned about this strategy, I can't say it's completely turned my son's life around, but his bouts of crying over how he's &quot;stupid&quot; and &quot;the worst&quot; and &quot;can't do anything right&quot; have significantly decreased.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25220093&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Research suggests that regular exercise can help with some ADHD symptoms.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Encourage physical activity&lt;/strong&gt;, whether that is through organized sports or activities, or just running around the backyard or a playground. (It also is good for general physical health, so why not?)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had very few conversations with my son about the Importance Of Focusing and How To Pay Attention. In retrospect, the majority of them were probably pretty insulting, because it's stuff that he knows almost instinctively -- if you don't listen to your parent or teacher, you'll miss important information (including, occasionally, &quot;it's time to eat dessert, come here if you want some!&quot;), so listening is important. He just wasn't able to pay attention well. He tended to be more receptive when I instead led with, &quot;&lt;strong&gt;I know you have a hard time paying attention, and I appreciate it so much when you are focused.&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; Such talks aren't useful when he's tired, being reprimanded for not paying attention, or interested in doing something else and therefore not really listening -- we save it for quiet time before bed or something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;School Behavior&lt;/strong&gt; is a bit more challenging, since you don't have direct control over what the teacher can do in their own classroom. We've had one teacher who was incredibly strict and impatient with his behavior (which was horrible), and two who were more lenient and helped redirect him instead of immediately resorting to punishment (and he flourished). Part of this is just down to the teacher's personality and style, but the most useful tip I found was this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The parent can help the child by talking to the teacher before the school year starts about their child's situation. The first priority for the parent is to develop a positive, not adversarial, relationship with the child's teacher. &lt;em&gt;(1)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you're working together to keep an eye on behavior, attention, and your daughter's progress, it's much simpler to deal with problems that may arise. Figuring out what works and what doesn't, and sharing what you've found effective at home, will help the teacher figure out what tools or techniques they can use in the classroom to keep her learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do have a official diagnosis of ADHD, then it's possible to put together an individualized education plan (IEP) that allows for longer time on tests, a quiet room to take them, or things like that. That isn't predicated on the child being medicated or not. (The terminology is almost certainly different in countries besides the US, incidentally.) So far I don't have one in place because we've had a lot more success establishing an &quot;informal&quot; IEP by being very involved with his teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;resources&lt;/strong&gt; below are geared towards ADHD or ADD, but I'll repeat that I think they're useful regardless of diagnosis. Whether she's got ADHD or she's just bored by the simplicity of the work being assigned, it can't hurt to try a variety of methods to help her focus more!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder | University of Maryland Medical Center &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://umm.edu/health/medical/reports/articles/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://umm.edu/health/medical/reports/articles/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;ADD/ADHD Parenting Tips: Helping Children and Teens with Attention Deficit Disorder&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-parenting-tips.htm#helping&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-parenting-tips.htm#helping&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parenting a Child with AD/HD&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.help4adhd.org/en/living/parenting/WWK2&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.help4adhd.org/en/living/parenting/WWK2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not Paying Attention? Improve Listening Skills in ADHD Children at Home and School&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5934-2.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5934-2.html&lt;/a&gt; (classroom)&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5934-3.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5934-3.html&lt;/a&gt; (home)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-06T17:55:22.747" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T17:55:22.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18563" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-05T09:26:13.173" Score="0" ViewCount="188" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are currently on day 3 of potty training, my son who is 22 months old is showing all the signs, our accidents seem to happen when playing, he only let's out a small amount and the does the rest on the potty! (Rain drop) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we continue? Or shelve it for a few weeks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13557" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-02-05T14:21:00.200" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T23:49:51.723" Title="Potty training my 22-month-old son" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18563" CreationDate="2015-02-06T02:19:35.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say keep going.  Don't overreact (or react at all really) to the little accidents.  Just be encouraging when he gets on the potty.  Biggest thing is don't stress.  Kids do it at different ages, but it will happen for all of them sooner or later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2015-02-06T02:19:35.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18565" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-06T04:17:01.653" Score="2" ViewCount="31808" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am strictly breastfeeding and have been pumping and storing milk since my baby was 3 days old. When he turns a month old, I want to introduce bottles with breastmilk so anyone else can feed him if I am not home. Is it okay to give him the milk from those first days of pumping? I understand those first couple of bags are mainly the colostrum. Does this matter once he's a month old, or is milk milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13563" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-06T12:13:09.317" LastActivityDate="2015-02-06T12:13:09.317" Title="Feeding my baby milk that I stored from when he was 3 days old and on" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18566" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-06T06:31:53.783" Score="8" ViewCount="925" Body="&lt;p&gt;I got a chance to speak to the 15-year-old child of the security guard of our office. He was looking to get started with a computer and was looking for guidance. I must also say that it is rare for people from economic backgrounds as the security guard to get their kids a computer any earlier. But it is also very rare for them to get any at all, so I want to help. There would be no Internet connection available on the computer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will not be able to coach him or provide tuitions due to time constraints on my part and I also want him to learn it on his own. I am just looking for advice you may have gathered on how to get a fresh mind started with a computer and how to track their progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13564" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-31T13:43:30.847" LastActivityDate="2019-03-31T13:43:30.847" Title="How to get a 15-year-old started with a computer?" Tags="|teen|education|computer|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18565" CreationDate="2015-02-06T12:11:44.410" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;To &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; extent milk is milk, but the nutritional content shifts gradually over time to meet the growth patterns of a baby (and also again around weaning).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At about a month, your milk generally has more fat and less protein than breastmilk from Day 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeding him that milk isn't unsafe* or unhealthy, but perhaps consider mixing half Day 3 milk and half &quot;now&quot; milk. Not only will the nutrients be more balanced, but also the flavors -- if your baby gets a different &lt;em&gt;taste&lt;/em&gt; in addition to the different nipple from a bottle, I think it will be harder to get him to accept it. (Two of my breastfed/bottle-fed babies had no issues with accepting bottle feeding, one fought it like crazy -- simplifying the transition can only help!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;* NOTE: This assumes the milk has been frozen properly.&lt;/strong&gt; La Leche League has a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/milkstorage.html&quot;&gt;useful table of acceptable storage times&lt;/a&gt; depending on storage method (countertop, fridge, freezer, deep freeze).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case you really want to look at the nutritional components of breastmilk in great detail to help you make your decision, the science-heavy quotes below are pulled from an article by Ann Prentice, published by the United Nations University Press, &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://archive.unu.edu/unupress/food/8F174e/8F174E04.htm&quot;&gt;Constituents of human milk&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The composition of breastmilk is not uniform, and the concentrations of many of its constituents change during the lactation period and differ between individual mothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Human lactation can be divided into four phases that differ in the&#xA;  composition and volume of milk produced: colostral, transitional,&#xA;  mature, and involutional. Colostrum is secreted for the first three to&#xA;  five days after delivery, transitional milk until the end of the&#xA;  second week, mature milk during full lactation, and involutional milk&#xA;  at the end of lactation. These definitions are arbitrary; the timing&#xA;  varies from one mother to another, and composition does not change&#xA;  abruptly. Typical concentrations of selected milk constituents are&#xA;  shown in table 3. Notably, colostrum is rich in secretory&#xA;  IgA, lactoferrin, vitamin A, and sodium compared with mature milk but&#xA;  has relatively low concentrations of fat, lactose, and vitamin B1.... Because milk&#xA;  volume is low during the colostral phase, rising slowly during the&#xA;  first week to the higher levels of established lactation, the&#xA;  daily intake of most milk components by breastfed babies increases&#xA;  after birth, reaching a peak after several weeks (table 4). The&#xA;  exception is ... total protein intake, which is&#xA;  maximal in the first week (table 4).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Mature breastmilk composition also changes during the course of&#xA;  lactation, although not as markedly as in the early weeks....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-02-06T12:11:44.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18566" CreationDate="2015-02-06T17:23:37.583" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the first thing he should become familiar with is typing.  Obtain a typing tutor program - in the US &quot;Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing&quot; is a common one for example - and have him practice enough that he is able to touch-type at least moderately.  If he's used to texting this shouldn't be too hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second things is to become familiar with word processing.  OpenOffice.org, Microsoft Word, whatever you can obtain.  Even if he does his school work on paper still, suggest he practice doing some of his essays or reports also in the word processor.  This not only teaches this particular skill, but also teaches how to be used to many editors, which will be helpful on the Internet and in programming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The third thing I'd suggest is to install a couple of interesting games.  Whatever you're comfortable with and he'd be interested in.  Games are fun, and encourage using the computer - and they encourage learning some of the interactive principles of computers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't push programming or anything like that at this point: just getting used to the concept of computing is sufficient for now.  Programming is something he may or may not be interested in, but I find it's better to let it come naturally.  At this point, computer &lt;em&gt;literacy&lt;/em&gt; is the real key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-06T17:23:37.583" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18571" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-06T20:52:54.370" Score="2" ViewCount="1295" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a lot of conflicts with our son (now 7 years old, but this was not different the years before). One common situation is: there is a conflict between him and my wife (and I'm not involved or only partially involved), e. g. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he behaved very unfriendly / short-temperedly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he insulted or yelled at one of us&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he hit one of us&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is especially problematic if the second parent is present or near, as he knows if he is in conflict with &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; of us there is still the second parent to go to.&#xA;This also happens very easily if &lt;em&gt;grandparents&lt;/em&gt; are present, as he knows that they are usually more patient and less consequent with his &quot;bad&quot; behavior.&#xA;He then tries to play someone off against the other, and with the grandparents that works quite well often and then leads to a conflict between them and us parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Such situations are difficult and I wonder how to handle them properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Example:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was in a very bad mood. We assumed that he might be overtired and/or hungry and tried to calmly and friendly remind him to be polite to us and to find out what he wants to help him get out of this situation.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Unfortunately, he often (mostly?) does not take advantage of the situation when we try to smooth the way for him to get back to normal and appropriate behavior and we get into a downward spiral.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We always offer him to hug him in such situations asking &quot;do you need a hug?&quot;, but he refuses in most cases.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Very often he is then sent to his room to calm down and come back if he can behave appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this particular case, he got very angry and yelled at my wife, he did not want to stay in his room. He then also yelled at me, I don't remember how it went on but some time later he was quiet again in the kitchen and prepared his meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He then finally had accepted a hugging from me and was ok with me again. &lt;strong&gt;But&lt;/strong&gt; he did not try to make up with my wife and my mother (who had left the room crying during this (for her) unnecessary conflict out of nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I proposed to him several times to make up with the two others. He ignored that completely, sat down and ate his meal. My wife was really really upset about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;I wonder: How can I act appropriately in such a situation?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see 3 ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On the one hand I know that I could force him to apologize if I stop my interaction with him as long as he has not apologized to the other(s).&#xA;But this apology is quite worthless as he only does it to get back my attention/time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand I could - as he has made up with me - treat him completely &quot;normally&quot; and interact with him as if nothing else had happened.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This would feel very strange to me, as he has hurt people who are very important to me (my wife, my mother) and I don't want them to be hurt and don't want to play /spend time with the one who did that and does not regret it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In consequence of his behavior I refuse e. g. to don't read a bedtime story to him (which is quite hard for him).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;However, this should not be coupled to the fact if he has apologized to the others or not, but it should just be the consequence of his behavior, so it is still is free decision if he apologizes or not.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you deal with such situations? What could I do better?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="1092" LastEditDate="2015-02-07T08:18:39.567" LastActivityDate="2015-02-07T08:18:39.567" Title="How should I act during conflict between my child and my spouse if I dispraise the child's behaviour?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|conflict|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18571" CreationDate="2015-02-06T23:35:38.377" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of how you deal with this depends on how otherwise you are raising/disciplining/etc. your child.  If you're doing time outs (1-2-3-Magic etc.), versus if you're doing punishment-based discipline, versus if you're doing non-punishment discipline (Parent Effectiveness Training etc.), there will be some differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the core will be the same. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Problem 1: Your son didn't stay in his room when asked&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Problem 2: Your son yelled at your wife.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Problem 3: Your son yelled at you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each of those needs a separate resolution.  First, if your son needed to stay in his room and he left, he needs to return to the room.  Second, he needs to apologize to your wife.  Third, he needs to apologize to you.  All three things are necessary for bringing the relationships back into balance.  The order isn't important, but the three things are.  You can't return to normal relations between the three of you until all three are addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how you accomplish that, this is where it can vary; I'll give my (non-punishment-centric) approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your son needs to understand that yelling isn't the right option when he's unhappy with something he's asked to do.  Break down why.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It hurts his mother's feelings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It does not convince his mother to change her mind - it if anything makes her more likely not to&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It creates an adversarial lose-lose situation&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then talk to him about &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he yells.  He's old enough to answer - or at least, in the Socratic method (prod him with helpful questions that lead him to understand the answer).  Some possible reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is upset that he has to do it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is venting his frustration&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He wants to change his mother's mind&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, move on to helping him figure out what he &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do to constructively deal with those issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use his words in a &lt;em&gt;calm&lt;/em&gt; manner.  Tell his mother that he doesn't want to do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If calm isn't really possible, vent his frustration at inanimate objects in a safe, nondestructive way.  Stomping his feet.  Clapping his hands. Something that's not directed at a person - thus, doesn't make someone hurt or mad - but gets out that rage.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once he's calm, he should explain to his mother why he doesn't want to do it, with specific details; and if he can think of a compromise, he should suggest it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, explain that sometimes he still will have to do things he doesn't have to; everyone does - you go to work, you pay taxes, etc. - but that you and your wife will take his feelings into account, and when it's possible to change things in a way where he doesn't feel as frustrated, you will.  If you're telling him to go to his room because you have adult company over and you want a child-free couple of hours, maybe he can get out a toy he normally doesn't have out; or maybe he can call a friend and go to his/her house.  &lt;em&gt;You&lt;/em&gt; have to play along here also - if there &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a reasonable compromise, you should try to reach it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your son needs to know the correct response after he's yelled at someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's going to yell sometimes; that happens.  You probably yell at him too sometimes, even if you're very careful with your temper - I do, my wife does, and we're very calm people who try &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; hard not to lose our tempers.  Sometimes we do, though.  When we do, we apologize for yelling as soon as we can - often immediately as we realize we lost our temper right away.  It doesn't matter why we yelled - if our 3 year old bit our one year old's arm - still not okay to yell.  So we apologize.  Then we address the reason we yelled, separately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming you do this (or start), the conversation should go something like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Son, when you yell, you hurt your mother's feelings, and my feelings.  When you've done that, it's necessary to apologize to the person whose feelings you hurt, and give them a hug, to show them that you still love them.  Even if you're still mad at them, you need to do this, because no matter how mad we might be at each other, we're still family, and we need to show that we love each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;I don't want to.  I hate Mom.  She's mean to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I understand, but you still need to apologize for yelling, and give her a hug.  I know you don't agree with what she told you to do, and that's perfectly okay.  You don't have to agree with her or like what she tells you, and it's perfectly okay to be frustrated and mad.  However, yelling at someone is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; okay.  Let's find another way to deal with that frustration.  Before we do that, though, you need to apologize for yelling, because until you do that you can't begin to repair your relationship with your mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;I don't want to!  I didn't do anything!  She's mean!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know you feel that way, and I'm sorry you feel like your mom is mean to you.  She loves you and doesn't intend to be mean.  We can definitely address your concerns and try to help find a resolution that doesn't leave you frustrated and upset.  We can't do that, however, until you apologize.  When you don't apologize to someone you hurt, you leave them hurting until you do apologize.  When your mom and I have a fight, we &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; apologize if we yell at one another, even if we aren't happy still; we know we love each other, and it's very important to take care of each other's feelings even if we &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; mad.  Apologizing is a very important part of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something like that: one, keep at it until he understands - even if it's an hour - and engage his concerns when you can.  If he's just saying &quot;I don't want to&quot; and nothing more, you're going to have a hard time, but it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; possible to get past it most of the time.  The point is to make sure he understands that the apology is solely for the yelling itself - it's not a concession of guilt or an admission that she's right; it's not giving up ground.  It's solely addressing the harm that was done by yelling &lt;em&gt;itself&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also should be giving him examples of others' behavior, particularly yours, in these situations.  Modelling good behavior for your son is vital - as that's the main way he learns his own behavior - and in return, showing him your good behavior is crucial in moments like these so he can see it is in fact possible to make up even in these situations.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With all of that said, some of this may also require you and your wife to find better ways to deal with your frustration at him.  He is a seven year old child, and is going to be &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; frustrated when he doesn't feel that he has any say in what happens to him or doesn't have control over his life.  Of course, he's seven, and doesn't practically speaking have a whole lot of control over his life - but it's frustrating nonetheless.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Him yelling and being upset because he's not able to choose to be in whatever room he chooses shouldn't be a surprise - and you should be prepared to accept some level of frustration from him, as long as it's not (too) personal.  You should make clear to him what the boundaries are - what are okay ways to vent frustration and what aren't - but you need to make allowances for that frustration.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of problems we have with our eldest child are because we don't expect his frustration to bubble up in the way it does; as we've spent more time thinking about our own parenting style, we've realized that we have a very emotional guy, and we have to help him let out some of those emotions, while not taking personally when he's upset.  Reacting to his venting with calmness, without losing our temper or being visibly upset, will help him calm down - especially if we make it clear we're taking his frustration seriously, but still are calm and not bringing our own emotions into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-06T23:35:38.377" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18573" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18582" CreationDate="2015-02-07T02:32:55.653" Score="2" ViewCount="1106" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler (2 yr) just got a bed instead of a cot. The cot had high sides and she wasn't able to get out of it by herself. We bought her a bed recently, because she grew out of the cot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we were always under the impression that she was an excellent sleeper she now ghosts around all night and keeps the whole family awake. She also doesn't stay in bed for her afternoon nap. &lt;strong&gt;What to do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13327" LastEditorUserId="13327" LastEditDate="2015-02-07T11:25:54.983" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T20:19:25.057" Title="How to keep our toddler in bed" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7858" CreationDate="2015-02-07T02:52:10.080" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that you should just eat something hard, like and apple or carrots mabye. It might seem painful, but really, its not! Or, while brushing her teeth, it can come out. It did with me. And one time, my tooth was so loose that when I was eating a banana, I accidentally swallowed it! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, don't leave it because it will make her teeth grow to the side or the back of her baby tooth. It happened to me, but it moved and went back in place. Hope it feels painless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13570" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-02-08T20:23:35.973" LastActivityDate="2015-02-08T20:23:35.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18577" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-07T10:56:50.423" Score="4" ViewCount="1430" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old and an 11-year-old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet. Between the 3- and 5-year-olds, they backchat, break things, have drawn on walls, poo on walls, have urinated on bedroom floor, shout at me, are a nightmare in the mornings as get up at stupid o clock in the morning and with noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then recently my 11-year-old is having violent outbursts, usually just when I am on my own and my husband was at work or his older siblings are out, they start from/over nothing, and he ends up being physical to my 3-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest are 21, 19, 16... They had a few silly teen tantrums but on the whole are lovely young adults now...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am due to have another baby in 6 weeks. Usually I do time out, and consequences and tell them about their unacceptable behaviour. I have the patience of a saint, but unfortunately lately I just can not cope anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband left me yesterday as he can no longer cope with the children's behaviour, and my children just remain to misbehave... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My house is constant conflict and I just want to give up, but I can't, as I am a mum, and mums don't give up. And what's more, I now have to cope with all this on my own. I've never felt so internally miserable, desperate, invisible and now unloved so much in my life before. I miss my husband and not being together is not from falling out of love, because we love each other greatly, it is because of the children and their behaviour :(. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, when the occasional good day happens, I beam with such joy for my children. I know it won't last forever, and they will grow up, but if I could tell you all of the things they do, all of the time it would make your toes curl. I would absolutely love some advice. As I feel so incredibly lonely and feel that my children are just too much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13573" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-15T16:45:52.767" LastActivityDate="2018-11-15T16:45:52.767" Title="How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|pre-teen|tantrums|conflict|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18577" CreationDate="2015-02-07T21:16:35.527" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I empathize with you; this is a terrible place to be. Naturally you feel like a bad mother; your husband just left you citing he can't take the kids' misbehavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, in my experience, there is nothing like an 11 year old to make you wonder about your mothering skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most women are the best mothers that they can be, and I'm pretty sure you fit into this group. We are not perfect, not one of us; we rely on learned behavior to raise our kids, which isn't - in hindsight - always the best. And your oldest are lovely. You've done a lot right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need help now, though, especially with the baby coming. A therapist can help you with your feelings. Seeing a marital therapist with your husband would be beneficial as well, if your husband is really just frustrated with the kids. I assume he is the father, and he could probably use some help too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, it sounds like your kids are a handful. Maybe what worked with the older ones isn't working with the younger ones. You can check some books out of the library on parenting and discipline, read about it here, etc. Kids will try to &quot;get away with things&quot;; it sounds like they don't respect or know your boundaries. For example, there is never a reason for an 11 year old to hurt a 3 year old. That should be a clear and respected boundary with significant consequences. Read about setting and enforcing boundaries in some parenting books. It can't hurt to discuss these things with your pediatrician, either. They might be able to recommend good books, good temporary measures, and good therapists for your own situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, ask your therapist what their opinion is on family therapy. If they know some good ones, they might refer you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry to rely so much on therapists for your answer, but it sounds like this is a crisis point in your life, and in these times, we all need good help. Friends and family can help, but sometimes we need more professional advice. This might be one of those times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-07T21:16:35.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10449" CreationDate="2015-02-08T00:40:08.140" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it very beneficial for the child to have both parents in his life. I would suggest though, at this early age, having one week away from his mother (or his father) might be a very long time for him. And you. At early ages, parents often split the time in a 2-2-3 method, which is a cycle that lasts two weeks, and gives each parent a weekend off. A nice resource can be found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.masslegalhelp.org/children-and-families/afcc-shared-parenting-planning.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1906" LastActivityDate="2015-02-08T00:40:08.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18577" CreationDate="2015-02-08T05:14:55.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;as I already wrote in my comment, I feel with you and it seems that you are in a very difficult situation. &#xA;Your question leaves many other questions open (surely in such a situation you will not have the time to describe your situation in detail and you maybe will also want to protect your privacy &quot;out here&quot;, which is perfectly ok!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18578/1092&quot;&gt;anongoodnurse's answer&lt;/a&gt; already gives very good advice. I want to add the following points, as your difficult situation has many &quot;layers&quot; at the same time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;The &quot;layers&quot; of your question:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your younger children's behavior is to a good extent not &quot;normal&quot; which is a burden for you and your husband&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it stresses you all so much that is has even made your husband leave you and his family&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;now after loosing your husband you have even less of the necessary support which you absolutely need&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you're having another baby soon and so you need even more support with all the work to be done&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in my opinion the 2 key points are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;get help to &quot;fix&quot; the children's misbehavior to make the daily life &quot;more fun&quot; &#xA;(sorry, if that might sound sarcastic in your context, it is not meant like that, but finally raising children - as much work as it is - should also be a positive experience, I wish you that it will change into that direction!!)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;get your husband back as soon as possible&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(if you really love each other as you wrote here, there should be a way to make clear to him that now in this moment you need his support more than ever and that you both have to find a way to get your family back &quot;on track&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Seek and get help and support!&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You did not answer my question if you already got &lt;strong&gt;professional help&lt;/strong&gt; from a therapist in the past or recently. You don't have to tell us if you don't want to, but you should definitely &lt;strong&gt;go for it NOW&lt;/strong&gt; if you did not do it already!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A therapist who can help your children to change their behavior and help you to make them behave &quot;well&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A therapist/counsellor who can help you and your husband &lt;strong&gt;get back your loving relationship&lt;/strong&gt; and take care of the large family &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you have &lt;strong&gt;people in your &quot;social environment&quot; who can help&lt;/strong&gt; you with house work or taking care of the children - like relatives (grandparents, aunts/uncles, ...), friends, or neighbors?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(I imagine that you will try to avoid to leave the misbehaving children with other people, or do they only behave like that at home - that might make things more difficult)?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;are there &lt;strong&gt;social institutions&lt;/strong&gt; who support families in difficult situations in your  area?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;this might heavily depend on the country/area you live in, but if there are such institutions (churches, social security offices, municipality), seek their help!!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;often there are such services available and we forget that they exist and that we can &quot;use&quot; them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Find the root causes of the misbehavior&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would definitely be the main first goal of a therapy, but maybe you already have some ideas, why your younger children are misbehaving like that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems that you raised the older three children without such extreme misbehavior as you describe it, so it's apparently &lt;em&gt;not a &quot;systematic&quot; problem of your parenting style&lt;/em&gt; per se.&#xA;For sure with such a large family you're already carrying a very heavy load for many many years now (depending on how much help you get with the house work) - even without all those problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have there been any &lt;strong&gt;events which could have started/triggered the misbehavior&lt;/strong&gt; of the younger ones?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Some tantrums (or even many) might be normal at that age, but pooing or peeing on walls or floors etc. is a cause for concern in my (amateurish) opinion!!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One thing that struck me while reading was, that you &lt;strong&gt;&quot;have the patience of a saint&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; .&#xA;This might have worked with the older children when they were young, but siblings can be very different (I'm sure you know that), they can have a different temper and react very differently to the same situations.&#xA;So might this be at least a part of the problem, that you are very calm and patient and the younger ones are trying to test and push their (and your) boundaries constantly?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is it possible that you would like to have everything calm, peaceful and harmonic and for some reason (which has to be found out -&gt; therapist!!) the children unconsciously try to sabotage you, maybe as they feel that your time-outs and punishments are not &quot;authentically you&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you all the best and I can only repeat my plea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;get professional help - instantly!!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-02-08T05:22:07.890" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18581" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18642" CreationDate="2015-02-08T12:25:04.940" Score="6" ViewCount="1058" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I'm trying to explain something to my 14 year old daughter, she becomes very resistant to what I say or advise. I do understand that she has a hard time due to her age, both physically and psychologically. In addition to this, she does not see her father, as we are divorced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm trying for her to develop mathematical thinking and math skills - which she finds boring.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in war zone in Eastern Europe and sometimes can't leave the city, so for her it's hard to not go for holidays and relax. We have internet, she can watch films, listen to music or acquire information, but I understand that it's not enough. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So from said above: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make this transitional period easier for her, which I guess will still continue for some years, and how to overcome her resistance or what would be the  right approach to it for me? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I can do to spark an interest in her for math and numbers?       &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I diversify her life here at home and when we can go to the capital for her age to ensure her well-being?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No,they teach math in school,but she finds it boring and I try to instigate in her the interest to the math,also the program in school is old,no new approaches. She is not homeschooled,she goes to the public school. Education she gets there is not the one I would wish for her.                    Transitional period - I meant puberty.             I want develop math skills so she can have a good career in future and stable position in life. I care more about practical appliance of math to life.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;About well being I wanted to diversify her life with age relevant entertainment (we go to the theater,cinema when in the capital) What else we can try when we have time together?                                      I worry about the fact she is resistant, I know it's somewhat normal for her age. I wanted to know what is the best approach I can have to it? Do I need to insist her to be not resistant or I need to take it easy and patiently wait when understanding will come?                                                             Yes,I realized that it would be better if I'd have broke this into two questions,but it's done now.                                                                          &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13506" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-02-14T20:46:35.280" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T23:17:08.367" Title="My 14 year old daughter is overly resistant when I advise something" Tags="|education|teen|cognitive-development|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18573" CreationDate="2015-02-08T14:21:53.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Abusing this newly gained open-bed freedom is quite common. My friends just locked their kid in his room, allowing him to roam, but only there. Fortunately, this was only a phase and he started to sleep better after a few weeks. Nightwakings would make him still roam around, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is little point fighting it - you have already commited to a bed, for better or worse. You can't strap him to the bed, it'd have a very bad effect. Be strong and try to ignore his roaming as long as he's safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-02-08T14:21:53.317" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18585" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18589" CreationDate="2015-02-08T18:17:50.220" Score="3" ViewCount="25938" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went with my nearly six years old daughter to the public pool &amp;amp; SPA and to my surprise, I found a label saying, that children under age of 7 should avoid the jacuzzi bath. Is that true, and why is the minimum age set so high?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife suggests, that this is because the jacuzzi bath at that public pool is meant for aromatherapy and salt based. And that our simple, pure water home jacuzzi should cause no harm at all, neither for our older (nearly 6 years old) nor our younger (nearly 3 years old) daughter. Is that true? Can this be somehow verified?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;: I'm talking about home jacuzzi bath, entirely under supervision (mine or wife's). So, arguments like chance of falling asleep are not my concern here. I'm looking only for health-like arguments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11179" LastEditorUserId="11179" LastEditDate="2015-02-09T06:58:17.963" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T16:11:07.960" Title="Minimum age required for jacuzzi bath" Tags="|health|bathing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18585" CreationDate="2015-02-08T18:55:11.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in Germany in an area famous for it's springs. We have multiple thermal spas and the rules of admission are different in each. When my children were young, I checked with some of them why this is the case: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was told that  each spring has a specific content of mineral salts and hence a different effect on the human body. For young children, the purifying / healing properties of some of the waters, especially combined with the rather high water temperature in a jacuzzi, can be very stressful for the circulation and affect blood pressure negatively. As these effects are hard to quantify and depend a lot on the physical condition of the user, each spa here calculates admission depending on previous experiences over decades (or centuries) of use. A certain &quot;safety value&quot; is most certainly included and usually the worst that should happen to a healthy child or adult is dizzyness and general fatigue for a few hours afterwards. Other rules apply in case of a heart condition or other sicknesses and it is recommended to check with a physician before going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have spas in the area that will admit babies (but recommend limiting the bathing time), others give a minimum age of up to eight years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For home jacuzzis, that are simply bubbling tap &#xA;water, the same rules are valid that apply to a non-bubbling bathtub.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-02-08T18:55:11.143" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18585" CreationDate="2015-02-09T05:38:46.873" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The age limit is high pretty much entirely because of &lt;strong&gt;liability&lt;/strong&gt;, the pool doesn't want young kids drowning or getting heat stroke in there.  Some spas also don't want rambunctious kids romping around the adult relaxation space and will ban all under-16s.  But the water in a jacuzzi is just &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_tub#Sanitation_and_water_quality&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sanitized water&lt;/a&gt; (chlorine, salt water or equivalent, same as a pool), and any bubbles are just air, so aside from the heat there's no medical issue as such, just supervise them properly and they'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: The entire nation of Japan, where &lt;a href=&quot;http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2005/LouisWilliamTullo.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;very hot baths&lt;/a&gt; (up to 43&amp;deg;C/110&amp;deg;F, although more typically around 40&amp;deg;C/104&amp;deg;F) are a national pastime and babies commonly bathe together with their parents. Natural &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onsen&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;onsen&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; hot springs incorporate all sorts of minerals and these also welcome kids, although for sanitary reasons most insist that they are fully toilet-trained first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastEditorUserId="3248" LastEditDate="2015-02-09T10:40:28.137" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T10:40:28.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18592" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-09T13:24:27.663" Score="14" ViewCount="11946" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know the first birthday is something special for a child, but is not something that a kid will remember, so it's more of a party of the adults in his/her life to celebrate that they made it through the first year. Several of my friends have not had babies yet, or might not be planning to.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I restrict the guest list to other parents of babies/toddlers because it might be boring or not-fun for those who aren't immersed in our world of diapers and sippy cups? Or should I open it up and let people choose for themselves if they want to come? I'm not talking a ton of people, maybe inviting couples 6 with kids, 3 without...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2nd part of the question, is it snooty to say in the e-vite &quot;no gifts please, but you can make a donation to UNICEF in her name by clicking here&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="9198" LastEditDate="2015-02-10T10:32:28.220" LastActivityDate="2016-01-09T11:26:50.980" Title="Should I invite non-parent friends to a 1-year old birthday party?" Tags="|birthday|etiquette|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18592" CreationDate="2015-02-09T14:12:11.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've always opened ours up. We've found that those who are invited to special occasions like that, whether they have kids or want to have kids or not are more interested and more proactively involved in the child's life as they grow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We think it's important that our kids have adults that can speak into their lives since there's probably going to be a day when they think they know better than their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T14:12:11.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18592" CreationDate="2015-02-09T15:58:26.830" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you note, first birthday is basically a party for you, not for her, except that she's the reason for the party.  I would say that means invite whomever you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you probably should tend towards inviting people who have shown an interest in your daughter.  Friends who have not shown an interest in her - at least, acknowledging her when they come over and play a bit - probably won't want to come to a child's birthday party, even when it's more of an adult thing, unless you make it entirely an adult party and don't invite her.  Undoubtedly there are exceptions to this, but keep that in mind.  I wouldn't say it has anything to do with whether they have kids - rather, whether they're interested in &lt;em&gt;yours&lt;/em&gt;.  Otherwise, have a party that's not kid-related.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as gifts, it's technically not polite to mention gifts on the invitation (as that presumes people will bring one).  However, if you're worried about people bringing gifts, you can ameliorate that by changing the language some.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Come to a barbecue where we celebrate surviving our first year as parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That makes it less a birthday party and more just a get-together, so people won't feel as obligated to bring gifts.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can of course also mention gifts if you want - while it's not technically polite, it's certainly not a major faux pas, and if you're worried about presents clogging up the works, mention away.  I would change the language &lt;em&gt;slightly&lt;/em&gt;, and not mention the alternative:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No gifts are required; your presence is all we need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, if someone asks that they'd like to give something anyway, you can mention Unicef directly to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T15:58:26.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18585" CreationDate="2015-02-09T16:11:07.960" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main concern with a hot tub is the heat of the water.  This is not a small concern; heated water at or above body temperature can lead to hyperthermia (overheating), and for smaller children this is a serious risk as they're less able to regulate their body temperature.  They may overheat and pass out, and while you are supervising them, this is still not entirely safe; they might faint after standing up, for example, and fall on the tile or concrete (this happened to me as a teenager after spending too long in a hot tub).  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://apsp.org/safety/pool-spa-safety/hot-tub-safety-tips.aspx&quot;&gt;this safety sheet from the Association of Pool and Spa Professionals&lt;/a&gt; for more information, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brgrapevine.com/whats-the-big-deal-about-small-children-using-the-spa.html&quot;&gt;this well-prepared information sheet&lt;/a&gt; goes into some more detail.  From what I've read, even if you allow your child to use the hot tub (and 6 is above the CDC age, at least), you shouldn't allow it for more than a short period - 5 to 15 minutes - at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Water at higher temperatures is also more at risk for bacterial infestation.  While you usually chlorinate hot tub water, particularly when you don't have control over the chlorination, you can't be sure it's done properly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Jacuzzi or other jet-based bath that is not heated (ie, is a normal warm bath but does not go over body temperature and is allowed to cool over time) is as safe as any other bath; the jets and bubbles do not add any particular element of danger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T16:11:07.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18592" CreationDate="2015-02-09T18:43:02.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My earliest memory is from my 1-year-old birthday party, reinforced by photos. Don't underestimate!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1-year-olds are not usually developmentally very ready to play with each other—if you invite other 1-year-olds they will need constant supervision, because there is almost no difference between playing and fighting at that age. But they enjoy parties, special food and novelty. They also enjoy attention from older kids and grownups. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="572" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T18:43:02.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18592" CreationDate="2015-02-09T20:10:09.997" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We recently arranged our son's first birthday party and we decided we wanted to invite friends with and without children. Because of this we chose a style of party that would suit everyone we wanted to invite. As well as other babies, we invited friends with older children and friends without children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We chose a venue with a bar and plenty of space for the children to play. We hired some soft play equipment which was a big hit with all of the children even up to 9 years old. The children, except the smallest ones, entertained themselves mostly and the adults could enjoy some food and drinks. It all worked out very well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you don't have to do the same as us but I think the best way to approach it is to see what you want to do and who with, then base your party around that. Try to have something for the different types of guest. There won't be many birthdays where you get to choose completely what to do rather than your child. We saw the first birthday party as a way to celebrate our child with our friends as much as for him to celebrate his birthday. We are not religious so had nothing like a Christening so this is the first good chance we really had to celebrate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also went to a friend's child's first birthday where there were only people with children around 1 and that was fun too. I think it's OK to do either way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the present, we were invited to a party where a donation to charity was requested instead of presents and we weren't offended, we thought it was nice. For our party we made a little joke - the invitation was from our son and he said that his nasty parents have said he has too many toys already so please don't bring a present. Amazingly no-one gave him a toy. Quite a few people gave us something instead like champagne or vouchers. I think people would be happy to donate to a charity as an alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T20:10:09.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18573" CreationDate="2015-02-09T20:19:25.057" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;our kid started to do exactly same thing when he was 19 months old. Before that he went to sleep very easily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One evening, when we put him to bed, he stood up and started to walk around our house. I carried him back to bed many many times but after 50 mins I realized that this will not work. I still tried that few evenings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We changed plan. Every evening we sit next to his bed. When he tried to come out from his bed we first told him that now is time to sleep and put him back to bed. After few times we then totally ingnored him but still sitting next to him. No eye contact and talking. juat sitting next to hia bed. We also tried to block his way out from bed and putting him back to bed without saying anything. Sometimes he tried to get attention biting, jumping, laughing, crying etc. Still no any contact to him after the first few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After few weeks he realised that he needs to stay in bed. But still after 5 month when we leave the room he leaves immediately from his bed so we still sit next to his bed in a dark room, but it only lasts for 15 mins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you find a solution. Try many things, some thing will work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13588" LastActivityDate="2015-02-09T20:19:25.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18599" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18606" CreationDate="2015-02-10T08:33:06.240" Score="13" ViewCount="32607" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old daughter recently have scarlet fever. It seems antibiotics are non-negociable for it, and since she has great chance of being allergic to Penicillin, there is only one antibiotic she can get. It is not the first time we have to give it to her, and probably not the last time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently, that medicine tastes really REALLY bad. She cries a lot, panics every time we say it's time for this medicine, and vomit it most of the time, resulting in even more medicine being force into her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is only this medicine that causes problem. She does not tantrum for other medicine, and most of them, she can take the dose we give her all by herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried reassuring her, explaining why it is mandatory to get it, explaining it will make the scarlet fever go away. We tried mixing it into other food (which seems clearly worse, taste-wise). We tried asking her to take her herself. It seems we tried everything, and the only thing that achieve it for the moment is actually forcing it into her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We really do not want to force her in any way. Her mother cried yesterday because we had to force her, and we need to do it twice a day. It is very exhausting, and we would welcome any input or new ideas on how to give her this really bad tasting medicine to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT :&lt;/strong&gt; For clarification, it is a liquid medicine that is administrated with a syringe. It seems there are no alternative, although we will check with the doctor again (particularly if pills are available)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastEditorUserId="13212" LastEditDate="2015-02-10T13:04:30.090" LastActivityDate="2021-12-13T02:18:51.467" Title="How to give a medicine with really bad taste" Tags="|pre-schooler|health|medicine|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18601" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24808" CreationDate="2015-02-10T09:53:07.077" Score="1" ViewCount="620" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has never been good at going down for naps. But lately he is getting so bad that he sometimes skips them and I am also afraid he is going to hurt himself as he purposely throws himself at the sides of the cot (my fault really, the first couple of times I picked him up after he smacked his head). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a long time now we have just put him down in his cot, told him its nap time and walked out. For a long time he has cried for 10 minutes and gone to sleep. Its never been nice but all alternatives we tried at the time lead to crying for longer and being awake for longer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However its been a few months now since we tried anything different. And he has got so much calmer at night time that I am hoping to try something different to get him to be calmer for naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At night, he has a bottle, but we are weening him off (he rejects it himself most nights we give it to him now). Its usually darker and we have started reading him a story after we put him down and show him his water bottle (which he will usually drink a bit of while we read and then make himself comfy). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the day we tend to just put him down and put his water bottle where he can see it. But he is already crying and tantruming as soon as we start taking him upstairs. Occasionally he wont go to sleep at all and we take him for a walk in the pram, this used to always get him to fall asleep in the pram, but lately he fights that too, refuses to get into the pram and cries on the walk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It just feels like its getting worse instead of better....   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11361" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T07:23:35.997" Title="Suggestions for 16month old who cries horribly and bangs his head when put down for a nap" Tags="|toddler|sleep|crying|tantrums|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18602" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-10T10:02:13.467" Score="2" ViewCount="168" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm pregnant for the first time, and I've never really had morning sickness until recently.  What are the normal signs and symptoms of morning sickness?  What are some signs and symptoms I should look out for that would indicate that I should call my doctor?  Are there any foods that can affect the severity of morning sickness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13596" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-02-10T15:02:59.513" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T12:18:42.203" Title="Morning sickness symptoms" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18603" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18605" CreationDate="2015-02-10T10:19:52.137" Score="4" ViewCount="12772" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question is very similar to this one - &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7517/my-baby-fell-from-the-bed-is-there-any-problem&quot;&gt;My baby fell from the bed. Is there any problem?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 18 months old son today injured his nose while playing, he was jumping up and down, lost balance, hit his nose. There was a small amount nose bleeding, and after that 10-20 seconds he was ok. He is actively playing again, and eating normally..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I don't want to be that &quot;parent&quot; who takes their child to doctor for even small things, but this has me worried..He has done this before, but previously, he got injured on hand , lips etc., and not blood, just scrapes / minor cuts. I can clearly see what the problem is during those previous instances, but since it is nose this time, I am bit worried. Should I take him to doctor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9866" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2017-05-26T17:38:33.693" Title="Toddler injured nose while playing" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18603" CreationDate="2015-02-10T10:36:33.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question is indeed very similar, and the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7517/my-baby-fell-from-the-bed-is-there-any-problem&quot;&gt;same answers apply&lt;/a&gt;.  But, to be honest, if he banged his nose a bit but nothing is obviously broken, there are no signs of concussion, he recovered within seconds and is acting normally etc, I wouldn't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Also, a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/laceration&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;laceration&lt;/a&gt; is a deep, open wound that will bleed heavily, and would be &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; worse than a bloody nose.  Perhaps you meant an &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abrasion_%28medical%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;abrasion&lt;/a&gt;?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-02-10T10:36:33.387" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18603" CreationDate="2015-02-10T10:39:27.233" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your case seems different from the question relating to a head injury after a fall - if your son just hit his nose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A nose contains many small blood vessels and bleeds easily. While it might look like a massacre, usually there is no real harm done. Bleeding should stop after a short while like you said. (But be aware that any nose-picking at the itching scabs might re-open the wound, so don't panic!) A cold wet washcloth applied to the back of the neck might help stop the bleeding faster. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people are more prone to nose-bleeding and bleed easily after a punch, physical exercise or even spontaneously, some &quot;never&quot; bleed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But be aware: &lt;strong&gt;If you should notice &lt;em&gt;any other symptoms&lt;/em&gt; that fit the description of a possible head / brain injury, see a doctor &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. It's a good idea to make yourself familiar with these symptoms, because your child will most likely hurt himself more than once in the next years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-02-10T10:39:27.233" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18599" CreationDate="2015-02-10T11:13:32.180" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm lacking a bit of information, so I'l write an extended answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child has trouble with a really bad tasting liquid medicine you could try various approaches:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Avoidance&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you can't avoid taking necessary antibiotics. But check with your doctor: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are there other manufacturers that supply the same active ingredient, but with a different taste? I's not necessarily the active ingredient that tastes horrible, sometimes it's the flavorings or the combination thereof. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does the medicine come in a different form? Pills perhaps? Sometimes the adult-sized pills can be halved (if not coated with a time-release agent) or come in a suitable dosage. If yes, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/16804/how-to-teach-a-child-to-swallow-pills/16805#16805&quot;&gt;see this question&lt;/a&gt; on how to make swallowing easier. Your daughter might be willing to try swallowing even comparatively large pills to avoid the taste of liquid medicine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Technique&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Usually liquid medicine is measured and adminstered by a (special) spoon. We have switched to a trick I learned when I stayed with my child in hospital: Syringes (without needles!) are cheap and can easily be used for measuring. They are spill-proof and can even be pre-filled for later use. You can rinse them out and re-use multiple times (But dump them after one bout of sickness, just to be sure.) &lt;br&gt;If placed on top of the tongue, rather towards the back of the mouth - but not too far to prevent gagging, of course - they can be emptied into the mouth and the content swallowed without reaching the entire mouth. With a bit of practise, your daughter might be able to push the plunger and swallow almost simultaneously. Follow with a glass of whatever-tastes-good and you might be rid of most of the nasty taste.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Chilling the medicine (if permitted, see leaflet or ask your doctor/pharmacy) might also reduce the intensity of the percieved taste.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3. Distraction&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No child likes to take medicine, especially if it tastes &quot;bleach...&quot;. And sick children are sometimes cranky and non-cooperative even without medicine. So kudos to your normally well-behaved daughter! But in this case, I'd suggest distracting your child when it's time for the medicine. Who says it can't be taken while watching a favourite cartoon or TV show? Most children will be taking their medicine without much fuss just to be able to continue watching. Might work with other methods too, as long as they are engrossed enough. Telling a really fascinating story, perhaps? Asking riddles? Whatever makes for a rapt audience is fine with me. And they deserve a bit of extra pampering anyway...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-02-10T11:13:32.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18607" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-10T15:35:53.810" Score="2" ViewCount="272" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a first grade teacher to a selectively mute girl, age 6.  She has been in my class since August 2014 and will not speak to any adults at school.  Occasionally she will whisper to me, but usually only nods as a response.  She will speak to kids in the class at recess.  At times, she seems terrified and chews on her fingers when she is nervous.  She also moves robotically through the school, shuffling around slowly and making no eye contact.  How can I help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13598" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-10T15:54:30.090" LastActivityDate="2015-02-10T16:02:25.107" Title="Helping a child with selective mutism" Tags="|school|anxiety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-03-21T14:15:47.327" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18607" CreationDate="2015-02-10T16:02:25.107" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I pulled the following advice from &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.selectivemutismcenter.org/aboutus/whatisselectivemutism&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What is Selective Mutism?&lt;/a&gt;&quot; -- while the advice is directed at parents, it would at least be a start. Not pressuring her to speak seems to be the focus, since it's related to anxiety and therefore drawing attention to the issue will simply make her more nervous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The main goals of treatment should be to lower anxiety, increase&#xA;  self-esteem and increase social confidence and communication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't focus on the fact that she isn't speaking and look for ways to help her communicate non-verbally. Praise her work as you would any student, focusing on what she is able to accomplish in order to boost her confidence levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bringing the issue up (non-judgementally) with her parents is going to be really important for long-term success, though. You'll only have her as a student for a few more months, and hopefully they will be able to establish a plan to help her throughout her school career. Not all her future teachers are guaranteed to be as understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-02-10T16:02:25.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18609" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-10T16:35:49.087" Score="1" ViewCount="115" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went to the Big Chill festival upto 2007 (a UK music festival in the Cotswolds) and have recently become a dad. The Big Chill was very child friendly and I would have loved to have taken my boy, but unfortunately that festival stopped in 2011.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any purple people on here who could recommend an alternative for 2016? He'll be 1 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13599" LastEditorUserId="13599" LastEditDate="2015-02-11T13:22:30.890" LastActivityDate="2015-02-12T18:33:02.193" Title="Suitable music festival where children can be taken (Big Chill replacement!)" Tags="|safety|entertainment|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18610" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18615" CreationDate="2015-02-10T17:49:28.233" Score="7" ViewCount="1016" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son was born on November 21st, but due on December 22nd. So should we expect him to hit a 3 month milestone when he is actually 4 months old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13600" LastActivityDate="2015-02-11T18:16:41.580" Title="For developmental milestones, should the age of my preemie son be measured from his birth date or due date?" Tags="|newborn|premature|milestones|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18611" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-10T17:53:33.473" Score="4" ViewCount="9167" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just found out I am pregnant and I am 11 weeks. I am embarrassed to admit I smoked marijuana (casually, not everyday) until I found out a few days ago. Aside from the health risks for my child, I am hearing that even though it's early on, the child could test positive for THC come time for labor. Is this true? I will not touch the stuff now and won't for the duration of my pregnancy. Is it possible they will find THC and is it mandatory for the baby to be drug tested in Florida?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13601" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-10T00:09:22.763" LastActivityDate="2018-03-10T00:09:22.763" Title="Just found out pregnant and smoked marijuana" Tags="|newborn|pregnancy|drugs|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18610" CreationDate="2015-02-10T18:08:03.500" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mine was a month early too, and her pediatrician seems to expect her to hit things based on her birthdate, but said not to worry if she was late.  For instance, she wasn't social smiling at 6 weeks, but was at 10 weeks.  My sleep book (Weissbluth) says to expect babies to develop sleepwise based on due date, not birthdate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2015-02-10T18:08:03.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18611" CreationDate="2015-02-10T19:14:31.263" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on the information available on Florida's Health department website in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.floridahealth.gov/programs-and-services/childrens-health/healthy-start/_documents/final-chap-12.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this documentation of the Healthy Start program&lt;/a&gt;, it looks like you may be referred to this program if you admit to the obstetrician to your use.  It appears that it is a voluntary program based on some of the language in the document; but if I were you I would consult a lawyer who is familiar with family law in the state of Florida for specifics, if you're concerned about the consequences of discussing this with your doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do not admit to that, or fit in any of the criteria below, you likely will not involve Florida DHS.  However, be aware that by 11 weeks, there could be consequences to your fetus's health, and you should strongly consider informing your doctor despite the consequences of such notification, in order to protect the health of your future child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Criteria for entrance to the program:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Her own admission&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;A positive drug screen&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;A staff member witnessing the use&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;A report from a reliable source such as a trusted family member or professional.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Response to screening questions indicating use or abuse&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Further observations or assessment of substance abuse history and patterns of use&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the above, it looks like you would be subject to visits for about three years, largely focused on ensuring the house is appropriate to raise a child in and helping you with your substance abuse problem, as well as monitoring the development of the child to ensure no symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or similar occur in the child, and to help deal with those symptoms that might occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-10T19:14:31.263" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18611" CreationDate="2015-02-10T19:21:57.220" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Florida screens for all &lt;em&gt;31 disorders&lt;/em&gt; recommended by the United States Department of Health and Human Services Recommended Uniform Screening Panel and an additional &lt;em&gt;22 secondary disorders&lt;/em&gt;, unless a parent objects in writing.  Before leaving the hospital, a few drops of blood are taken from the heel of the baby and the ears are also tested for hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Critical Congenital Heart Disease (CCHD) has been added to the panel of disorders screened in Florida. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hrsa.gov/advisorycommittees/mchbadvisory/heritabledisorders/recommendedpanel/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;None of these are drug tests&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are for diseases you've mostly never heard of, such as     Propionic acidemia, 3-Hydroxy-3-methyglutaric aciduria, Holocarboxylase synthase deficiency, ß-Ketothiolase deficiency, Glutaric acidemia type I, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, they are not drug tests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants are not screened for parental drug use in Florida. You may &lt;em&gt;request&lt;/em&gt; special counselling if you fear the effect of drug use during pregnancy on your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note this statement put out by the American College of OB-GYN:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Drug enforcement policies that deter women from seeking prenatal care are contrary to the welfare of the mother and fetus&lt;/strong&gt;. Incarceration and the threat of incarceration have proved to be ineffective in reducing the incidence of alcohol or drug abuse. Obstetrician–gynecologists should be aware of the reporting requirements related to alcohol and drug abuse within their states. They are encouraged to work with state legislators &lt;strong&gt;to retract legislation that punishes women for substance abuse during pregnancy.&lt;/strong&gt; ...The use of the legal system to address perinatal alcohol and substance abuse is inappropriate. Obstetrician–gynecologists should be aware of the reporting requirements related to alcohol and drug abuse within their states. In states that mandate reporting, policy makers, legislators, and &lt;strong&gt;physicians should work together to retract punitive legislation and identify and implement evidence-based strategies outside the legal system to address the needs of women with addictions.&lt;/strong&gt; These approaches should include the development of safe, affordable, available, efficacious, and comprehensive alcohol and drug treatment services for all women, especially pregnant women, and their families. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Florida mandates reporting only newborns that are “demonstrably adversely affected” by prenatal drug exposure.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot say this often enough: physicians are, in general, opposed to reporting pregnant women who have used or abused drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schedule I drugs include stronger opioids, hallucinogenics, depressants, strong stimulants (such as beta-hydroxyfentanyl,  heroin, LSD, mescaline, quaaludes, ethylamphetamine, cannabis, cannabicyclohexanol, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schedule II drugs include opiates, stimulants, depressants and amphetamines (methadone, hydrocodone, dilaudid, demerol, cocaine, pentobarbital, methamphetamine, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.acog.org/Resources-And-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Health-Care-for-Underserved-Women/Substance-Abuse-Reporting-and-Pregnancy-The-Role-of-the-Obstetrician-Gynecologist&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Substance Abuse Reporting and Pregnancy The Role of the Obstetrician Gynecologist&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-11T04:35:53.733" LastActivityDate="2015-02-11T04:35:53.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18610" CreationDate="2015-02-10T21:26:00.090" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I decided to throw this answer in here for completeness, to be a little more general. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It depends.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first was 4 weeks early, and we calculated based on his actual birthday. This was based on advice from our pediatrician. (and he did, and he caught up on height/weight by 6 months)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, 4 weeks is not that early (given that in the US, 3 weeks early is NOT considered a early, but within the norm). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that most many early babies are expected to hit milestones according to their due date, especially if they are 6 or more weeks early. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the general case I would definitely ask your pediatrician at the check ups how s/he would prefer to calculate, and inquire why.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2015-02-11T18:16:41.580" LastActivityDate="2015-02-11T18:16:41.580" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18617" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-11T09:02:27.470" Score="9" ViewCount="10589" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2-year-old granddaughter who is so attached to me she will resist her mother, sometimes very strongly. My concern is my daughter's feelings. She already feels guilty enough for working. I kept this grandchild at home for the first 6 months of her life to avoid early daycare. At first I thought it would be a passing thing but it seems to be getting stronger. I don't live close so I visit about every 2-3 weeks for a couple of days. When I'm not there, things are fine. Is this normal? Could it be that I am more relaxed and have the time to play with her that is driving this? This really seems more intense than I remember with my own kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13605" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2017-09-14T12:09:17.873" LastActivityDate="2018-02-27T17:07:05.697" Title="Strong Grandmother Attachment" Tags="|toddler|attachment|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18601" CreationDate="2015-02-11T11:26:27.383" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have a relaxing night-time routine that sets the stage for sleep, I'd suggest doing a mini-version of this at nap time. Setting the stage for sleep is important, it signals the brain that it's time to rest, and it seems to be working for you at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids this age also bond to a &quot;lovey&quot; - a stuffed animal or blanket that can be comforting at nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try a white noise machine, or the app RainRain to make soothing sounds, which helps calm down our daughter when she is resisting naps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-02-11T11:26:27.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18609" CreationDate="2015-02-11T23:11:45.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/10915407/Best-family-friendly-festivals.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/10915407/Best-family-friendly-festivals.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Latitude - July - Henham Park, Southwold, Suffolk.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Camp Bestival - July-August - Lulworth Castle, Dorset.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Womad - July - Charlton Park, Malmesbury, Wiltshire.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Green Man - August - Crickhowell, Brecon Beacons, Wales.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Just So - August - Rode Hall Parkland, Cheshire.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-02-11T23:11:45.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18622" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18625" CreationDate="2015-02-12T03:30:53.300" Score="14" ViewCount="15956" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three-year-old is sometimes verbally and physically abusive with one parent, saying he doesn't like, want, or love the parent, and commands the parent to go away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems to happen mostly when he is interacting with one parent, and the other parent arrives. I suspect that the behaviour stems from not wanting to change the current activity — and a second parent arriving often signals a change in family dynamics and activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way to dissuade or end this behaviour?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6294" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2015-02-14T08:01:12.747" LastActivityDate="2018-07-13T06:32:02.723" Title="How do I dissuade my three-year-old from saying he doesn't like a parent?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|activities|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18622" CreationDate="2015-02-12T07:02:37.790" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is undesirable behavior (food fights, toy chucking, etc.) and there is abusive behavior (biting, kicking, swearing, hitting, spitting, saying hurtful things purposfully, etc.) For the first kind of behavior, numerous approaches can be taken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;abusive behavior&lt;/em&gt;, however, should elicit an &lt;em&gt;immediate, consistent response which is relatively dramatic.&lt;/em&gt; In effect, the response sends the message &quot;this is not tolerated here.&quot; Consistent means done the same way every time by both parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do very much like 1-2-3 Magic, as noted by CreationEdge. It is my go-to book for disciplining because it works, even on 3 yr. olds. It also minimizes conflict between the parent and child (parents need do nothing but give a warning and count before taking a child to a time-out spot), and bargaining/acting out on the part of the child (parents can ignore this and just keep counting). It may not be clearly understood by the child as a teaching tool, but it is. As the child learns the system, he can decide to stop the behavior that will earn him a time out. Every time he makes that choice, he has chosen, himself, to control his reactions and frustrations. And controlling frustrations is such an important skill to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read the book. Start using it when everyone will be home for a few days, so this particularly bothersome activity won't come up right away. When you have &lt;em&gt;clearly set boundaries with your child&lt;/em&gt; (&quot;We don't climb up on the kitchen table.&quot;), and simple redirection or distraction don't work, the parent says something to the effect of &quot;Dear beloved child, you know you are not supposed to climb on the table. If you don't climb down now, that's a &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt;.&quot; (You wait 5 seconds; no other talking). If he continues the behavior, you announce &quot;That's a &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt;.&quot; (You wait 5 seconds; no talking, no arguing that it's different now, he's just crawling on it, etc.) On the &lt;em&gt;three&lt;/em&gt; (&quot;That's a three: Time Out.&quot;), he is removed to a designated time out place where he sits quietly, hopefully thinking if it was worth it. When he's served his time out, a short talk can take place, but it's over. When the parent then might arrive at an &quot;unwanted time&quot;, warn the child &quot;Daddy/Mommy will be back soon. Remember to be kind, because it's important to be kind to people, especially those we love.&quot; (Or however you want to frame it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he chooses to obey before you reach three, he gets a praise (&lt;strong&gt;for behavior he controls&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;) and a sticker. A certain number of stickers gets him a reward or privilege (at three years of age, the reward has to come pretty quickly, but that's discussed in the book). Eventually, the child chooses to give up the undesirable behavior early on more and more often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I discussed all that is that abusive behavior gets an immediate &lt;em&gt;&quot;That's a three: time out&quot;&lt;/em&gt; (preferably by the parent with whom he wants to stay). The child is taken to his time out spot, gets no attention, no play activities, and has &lt;em&gt;himself&lt;/em&gt; disrupted the behavior he wanted to continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It should go without saying that all children will at one time or another tell a parent that they don't love them, or they're mean, etc. These feelings may be valid, and should be discussed in any trusting relationship. Teaching a wide range of feeling words helps a child discuss disappointments more accurately. But repeated use of hurtful language as a means to an end is not healthy and should be discouraged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All discipline methods must combine love and cherishing, respect for a child's valid feelings, times for discussing and negotiation of expectations, etc. But once the boundaries are worked out and understood &lt;em&gt;in times of peace&lt;/em&gt;, this is an incredibly stress-free way of enforcing those boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Done well, the child will feel loved and respected, and will learn that his behaviors (good and bad) have consequences. This is real life to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;1. Praise works in helping to shape behavior, but not all praise has the same effect. Sincere praise for things a child has control over, such as effort, has been shown to be beneficial, whereas praise for that which is uncontrollable (being &quot;smart&quot;, pretty, etc.), comparisons, or insincere praise, has been shown to be detrimental to effort and self-esteem in the long run.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-02-13T14:38:05.507" LastActivityDate="2015-02-13T14:38:05.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18609" CreationDate="2015-02-12T07:41:26.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From having played at many festivals, I can offer one amazing child friendly music festival, had and shoulders above the rest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Belladrum Tartan Heart Festival, held late summer up near Inverness&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is designed from the ground up to be family friendly, including child only areas, family and quiet camping, events and tuition for kids (including circus tuition) and my kids loved it at all ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-02-12T07:41:26.723" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18622" CreationDate="2015-02-12T10:51:26.070" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Expressing an opinion of not wanting to be near/liking another parent is for the most part very natural for someone of that age, and certainly the opinions need to be explored with the child. Appropriate questioning like &quot;Tell me why you don't want [parent] to join us,&quot; spoken in a gentle fashion will help show the child that it is ok for him to have opinions. Once a dialogue is started, and you will need to give him the words to understand his feelings, then I think it's appropriate to say &quot;Okay, that's how you feel. However talking to [parent] like that isn't okay/is sad behaviour and in this house we talk nicely to each other and if we don't like something someone else is doing we ask them to stop in a nice voice&quot;. By doing this, you're respecting the child as a person, acknowledging that the negative behaviour is outside boundaries, and giving the child the tools to express themselves in a manner that is appropriate and respectful to others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child is hitting and reacting physically then the child needs to have time out until he is calm enough to engage; talking to him in that state won't do very much and it is very important that the child addresses the feelings that are leading their behaviour as soon as possible. Phrases like &quot;If you're angry, that's ok, but we don't hit, hurt, break things including yourself and we do talk about it&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child won't talk about it at all, then you need to point out that the reaction is not ok and discipline appropriately with time out or what have you. Talking about it at another time is appropriate, trying to get the child to open up by talking about positive feelings first and then approaching the subject in hand. If that doesn't work, then you need to take the child to a trusted professional to rule out anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-02-12T13:46:00.017" LastActivityDate="2015-02-12T13:46:00.017" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18626" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18627" CreationDate="2015-02-12T11:07:04.177" Score="2" ViewCount="398" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this video (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TuNitdxDIM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Alan Watts - On Education and Disney Land&lt;/a&gt;), Alan Watts says &quot;teach a child as teaching an adult rather than let the child learn Mickey Mouse&quot; but he doesn't say the reason why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does Alan Watts mean when he says, &quot;teach a child as teaching an adult rather than let the child learn Mickey Mouse&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13307" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-02-12T20:31:00.527" LastActivityDate="2015-02-12T20:31:00.527" Title="What does it mean to &quot;teach a child as teaching an adult...&quot;?" Tags="|education|language-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18626" CreationDate="2015-02-12T13:32:31.477" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some actual quotes from the video:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to a child as if you were talking to another adult. Don't use&#xA;baby language. Don't even use oversimplified language. Talk to a child&#xA;just as you would talk to another person. You will find that by the&#xA;time they're three years old, they will have an amazing mastery of the&#xA;English language, and will be able to tell you all sorts of things&#xA;about what it is to be a child that child psychologists have been&#xA;longing to know, but could never get out of children because all&#xA;children have been taught to be Mickey Mouse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the context, he is saying that you should use adult vocabulary and grammar to build up a young child's communication skills. Using &amp;quot;baby talk&amp;quot; (in his phrasing, talking like Mickey Mouse) doesn't convey information or help them develop into a productive member of society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Treat your child as an adult. Treat the child fairly. Don't talk down&#xA;to your child, talk up to your child, and you'll find that they can be&#xA;amazingly intelligent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child brought up to be a &amp;quot;child&amp;quot; is a bore and a pest. It's a&#xA;cutie-pie, itsy-bitsy sort of approach that to my mind is nowhere.&#xA;It's what Disneyland is made for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-02-12T13:32:31.477" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18609" CreationDate="2015-02-12T18:33:02.193" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've not been myself but I know a few people with families who like to go to Shambala. It's free for under fives, has lots of activities for kids and a creche. Wikipedia also says it's family friendly. As I said I've not been so try to find out some more information first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-02-12T18:33:02.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18617" CreationDate="2015-02-12T18:53:06.303" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds entirely normal to me.  Some part of that is because you had her for the first six months; she has very good memories and feels safe with you.  That's a good thing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's normal even without that. My oldest loves his grandma and is regularly talking about how he'd like to go see his grandma (who lives 6-7 hours away) regularly.  When she does visit (about as often as you do), he wants to spend the whole time with her (and is a annoyed when she spends a day with his younger brother).  She never spent a long time with him as a baby - she was here for the first few weeks, but nothing like what you describe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The concern is how to deal with her resisting her mother.  You don't specify detail on what this entails, but I imagine at minimum she resists going back to her mother - ie, you take her for a day, then at night come home and have dinner with mommy and then it's time for you to go, she either resists going back for dinner or she complains about you going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing is that your daughter/her mother should understand what's causing this: it will happen &lt;em&gt;no matter how well she parents or how she treats her daughter&lt;/em&gt;.  The resisting is not related to her in any way: your granddaughter wants to play with grandma because it's fun to play with grandma. It's also a &lt;em&gt;transition&lt;/em&gt;; transitions are hard for children at that age no matter what the conditions.  She's having fun playing with grandma, she won't want to stop until it's not fun anymore.  This won't help entirely - it's hard not to take things like this personally - but if your daughter remembers that, it may be of some use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, you can help her with the transitions.  Give her more information about exactly when things are happening.  Use a timer to indicate when you're going to leave or when she's going to go back to her mom; tell her &quot;I'm leaving in about an hour&quot;, then remind her again at half hour, fifteen minutes, five minutes, and one minute.  She will both expend some of her resistance then, and will be mentally prepared for your leaving.  It won't entirely eliminate it, but it often helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also need to make sure she knows when you're coming back.  It's hard as a child to believe that this isn't the last time you'll ever see someone &lt;em&gt;every time they leave&lt;/em&gt;, because children of that age have weak senses of time.  You can help this by giving her a schedule of when you're coming back.  &quot;I'm going to leave now, but I will be back in three weeks.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, she doesn't know what a week is, so you need to help her there - give her a reference point, like &quot;Count trash truck days with mommy three times, and when the third one comes, I'll be there the next day,&quot; or &quot;You'll go to church two times and after that I'll be there a few days afterwards. &quot;  Whatever is a weekly occurrence that is significant in her life and she can count (if she can count, if she can't then Mommy can help with this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider a calendar; write on the calendar the day that you are coming, and have her and Mommy put stickers on the calendar once every morning or evening at a consistent time to mark the day passing, and Mommy can show when Grandma is coming next.  Then, when you come to leave, you can point the calendar to the next time you're coming, and remind her she can do this fun activity (putting stickers on the calendar) until you come again.  (You'll have to do something slightly different if you don't have such a good idea of when you're coming next, of course.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, having a good sense of understanding and control will help her a lot.  Nothing will work perfectly; my son complains every time he has to leave Grandma.  But it's short, and we talk about when she's coming next, and he then tells us what he wants to do with her the next time she comes.  (We didn't have to resort to the calendar, but we thought about it.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-12T18:53:06.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18622" CreationDate="2015-02-12T19:33:08.740" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have some good news and some bad news. Good news is, this behaviour is entirely normal. For the bad news, re-read the good news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/favoring-one-parent/?page=1&quot;&gt;At around 2.5+, your child works out that one way to get a little bit more attention is to make you a little less secure about their affection&lt;/a&gt;. Anecdotally, my 2-year-old daughter occasionally says &quot;I don't like Daddy&quot;, or pushes me away in favour of mummy. Note that they only do this &lt;em&gt;to parents they feel secure with&lt;/em&gt;, because they wouldn't risk it if they were scared of your reaction. Which is not to say that it doesn't suck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's some good advice for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/favoring-one-parent/?page=2&quot;&gt;coping strategies here&lt;/a&gt;, but the key thing is that you and the &quot;preferred parent&quot; work as a team. When your son says &quot;I don't like Daddy&quot;, mummy needs to immediately go &quot;poor Daddy! Well, &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; like Daddy!&quot; and then to give you more attention. Also feel free to mope a bit, let your boy know he's hurt your feelings. We found my daughter would come over to help comfort, partly because &quot;Daddy's &lt;em&gt;sad&lt;/em&gt;&quot;, and partly because that's what the grown-ups do. Obviously vice-versa also applies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may seem like ridiculous play-acting, but it's actually just making it clearer to your boy what's going on, and what the effects are. Toddlers do not do &quot;subtle&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2015-02-12T19:33:08.740" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6603" CreationDate="2015-02-13T04:34:51.443" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all; if your child is on any medications or has any medical devices that may require care - I.V., ventilator etc... - make sure you bring the proper equipment to handle administering the medications or caring for the devices. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a roomy but easy to carry bag you should have the following - plus any of the above necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some form of updated first-aid manual. This could be in the form of a book, flip chart, flash cards or app on your phone or tablet - try to have a hard copy though!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sterile bandages - assorted sizes, 4&quot;x 4&quot; gauze, self-adhesive...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Non-sterile bandages - roller gauze, tape, avoid elasticized roller bandages.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Digital thermometer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disposable gloves - avoid latex in case your child is allergic to them (also if you aren't the person to use the kit and the person using it is). You essentially have two other options, you may use vinyl or nitrile (from an emergency services stand point - mine - the latter is the best because they have a nice tight fit to your hand and are somewhat puncture resistant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very mild soap to clean minor wounds with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A list of emergency contact numbers - include &lt;em&gt;at least&lt;/em&gt; one family member; in an emergency situation things can be hectic to the point that simple things like grandma's phone number may slip your mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A flashlight and extra batteries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least one blanket (you can never have too many!). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gentle eyewash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basic medications. An antihistamine, a pain reliever (no aspirin!) such as ibuprofen, and a nasal decongestant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some form of electrolyte for re-hydration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have an emergency plan for situations such as fire, tornado etc... And practice it monthly, every six months - whatever will keep the plan fresh in your mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check the supplies in your kit every six months (actually, every month would be great!); check the batteries in your flashlight - as well as the spares -, check for expiration dates on both any meds you have in the kit as well as bandages and any tubing you may have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To summarize:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basic contents: any prescribed meds your child is on; basic over-the-counter meds; bandages of varying sizes; emergency contact numbers; flashlight and batteries; a first-aid manual. Also, always stay up to date with a first-aid/CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation) certification. Make and practice an emergency plan. Check your supplies at least every six months. &#xA;For further information and a complete list of recommended contents; please see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pampers.com/diapers/first-aid-and-medical-supplies-for-babies-and-young-children&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;First aid and medical supplies for babies and young children&lt;/a&gt;. It was written by a Registered Nurse who specializes in pediatrics.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastActivityDate="2015-02-13T04:34:51.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18633" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-13T05:10:10.790" Score="1" ViewCount="605" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 1 year and 8 months old. She will not sleep through the night.  She goes down to sleep most nights but now can climb out of the crib and open doors. She won't go down at night and I do a steady routine before bed. If I hold the door she fights it for up to 2 hours. I have been doing this for over 2 months and she still fights for 2 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the night she often wakes up regularly around 11:30pm and 2:30am. When I go to check on her I never pick her up just lay her down or put her back in her crib. She usually takes up to an hour to go back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last night she kept leaving her room. After the 10th time I couldn't take it anymore so I put her down and sat in her room by the door. She sat in her crib for 2 hours and just watched me and didn't go to sleep. After I had enough I went to bed and she cried and came out and came into my bed. In 5 seconds she fell asleep and woke up at her normal time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have recently started weaning her off breast milk over the last 3 months. It also seems like during the day when we are playing she is not really interested in breast feeding but if I am laying on the couch with her day or snuggling with him she all of a sudden wants breast milk from me and climbs on top of me and pulls my shirt up. Sometimes it just feels like she is doing it for attention or bonding or to be close to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her bedtime is usually around 8pm or 8:30 pm and she wakes up whenever around 7:30 to 8am daily. She has a 1 hour nap each day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at my wits' end and now that she can climb out of her crib and open doors I don't know what to do. Her 3-year-old sister sleeps fine and was never an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13621" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-16T13:14:50.410" LastActivityDate="2018-12-18T11:49:21.870" Title="What to do about my 20-month-old daughter not sleeping through the night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18592" CreationDate="2015-02-13T06:32:04.953" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have kids, and don't ever plan to. Depending on the activity, I might shudder as I RSVP &quot;no&quot;.  I would, however, be thrilled to  be invited.  It's tough for those of us who don't wish to have babies to stay connected to our friends who took the other path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you'd like us to come... I'd recommend the party with both bar and playground mentioned in MiniMum's Answer.  Personally, I don't mind kids being present, I just don't want to interact with them. But  I would LOVE the chance to interact with my friends who I maybe haven't seen as much this past year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can, make it clear in the invite whether the activities are likely to be all-ages or kid focused, so that childless friends can decide.  Invite them, though. They probably miss you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13622" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-13T15:05:09.720" LastActivityDate="2015-02-13T15:05:09.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18636" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-13T20:18:26.747" Score="2" ViewCount="10071" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3-year-old son has developed a habit to cross his second toe underneath the big toe. He does it all the time and claims that it feels more comfortable like that. We worry that, in the long run, this habit might deform his feet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can we convince a young kid to stop such a habit?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it even something to worry about? Maybe it just makes his toes more flexible without causing any harm?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13494" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-22T12:37:24.180" LastActivityDate="2019-05-22T12:37:24.180" Title="How harmful is a kid's habit of crossing the toes?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|health|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18637" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18639" CreationDate="2015-02-13T21:31:52.373" Score="5" ViewCount="628" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 year old daughter finds math boring and she acknowledges it whenever we talk about it. What can I do to spark an interest for math in her? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13506" LastActivityDate="2015-02-16T22:12:32.790" Title="How can I instigate or spark an interest for math to my 14 year old daughter?" Tags="|teen|cognitive-development|math|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18638" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-13T21:43:20.540" Score="4" ViewCount="1846" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year-old son has difficulty managing his anger in a healthy way. When he gets angry at his sister, sometimes he hits her or pulls her hair. Sometimes he hits himself. Sometimes he screams and cries. Sometimes he breaks things. Sometimes he makes threats to hurt or kill himself or someone else, sometimes with a knife in his hand or his hands around his throat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been taking him to see a family counselor. Together, we identified some things that he can do to calm down, like taking deep breaths, running in place or &quot;shaking it out.&quot; He liked the idea at first, but he doesn't want to do these things when he's upset. He resists going to his room to cool off, preferring to sit on the couch and pout, or on his bed if/when he does go to his room. He's usually willing to take deep breaths, but his idea of deep breaths is more like hyperventilating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be fair, I understand how he feels. When I'm angry, I don't want to cool off either; I just want to stay angry. It doesn't help that I suffer from depression (I'm medicated), and I think he may be dealing with that as well (he's not medicated). This makes it really difficult to get him to cooperate. I've tried running in place with him, shaking like a fool, punching the bed and all kinds of things, but he usually just lies on his bed and wiggles a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him that if he could go for three days without having any uncontrollable outbursts I would buy him a book (at his reading level). It took a couple of tries, but he actually did it. Then, I told him that if he could go for five days I would do it again. That was over a week ago. We're still on day #1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of recent incidents prompted me to post this question here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The other day, I managed to get him to do some jumping jacks with me, but it was like pulling teeth. At that point, I'd lost all my energy and motivation. I told him to cool off for a while longer without me; that I would come back when he felt like cooperating. That didn't go over well - he started choking himself, crying and screaming that he hates himself, that I'm the worst dad ever, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This morning, my wife mentioned in front of him that his younger sister might need some help managing her anger as well. This made him really upset. He started crying and screaming that she doesn't need that kind of help; that it was just for him. I got irritated and called him out for being jealous (a bad idea in hindsight). He smacked himself in the face, sat on the couch and pouted.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've hidden the knives, but I'm at my wits end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11583" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-26T12:29:00.387" LastActivityDate="2019-06-26T12:29:00.387" Title="How do I teach my son to manage his anger when he is unwilling?" Tags="|middle-childhood|violence|anger|coping|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18637" CreationDate="2015-02-13T22:23:38.693" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sure there will be more detailed and informative answers, but to start things off:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Show her how the math she's learning now (at 14, probably some variety of Algebra, possibly Geometry) will inform later studies in a wide variety of subjects.  Sure, some of algebra is a bit boring, but you have to know how to solve X=2X+4 before you can master physics, chemistry, or work out your budget or how much you should invest to retire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't mean pop quizzes.  This means finding out what interests her and showing her how she's using, or going to use, math in that in the future.  Computer games?  Math is used all over the place.  Wants to travel the world?  Better be able to solve 3.75 Pounds=1.85(P/D)*Dollars for Dollars.  Wants to be a chef?  Recipes are filled with basic algebra any time you want to change the quantity produced.  Lawyer? Proofs in Geometry have the same 'language' as proofs in Logic.  Mom?  Don't get me started.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she's not learning it from a very engaging teacher.  You probably can't fix that directly, but you can show her how to turn her math homework into more interesting problems, at least perhaps to think about it in a more interesting - or perhaps more effective - way.  Word problems are the bane of many students' existence, but they're also sometimes helpful in teaching you how to solve the problem in the first place if they're turning it into something you &lt;em&gt;already do&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Solve 3X+4=28.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Okay, so I have $28 in my pocket, and I need to save $4 to spend on lunch today.  How many of my friends can I buy a Frappuccino for at $3 each?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I bet a fourteen year old can figure out that problem more easily than the regular-algebra version.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Maybe math isn't going to be her thing, and that's okay.  Not to say she shouldn't learn it, and shouldn't try to make it interesting, but not &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt; likes learning &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;.  If she is doing fine in math but just doesn't like it, and some reasonable attempts fail to help that, it's not a bad thing to dislike a subject - as long as you still learn sufficiently well for future subjects, of course.  Push too hard and you might turn her off &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt;.  Be careful about finding that correct midpoint; and don't push her just because you're a math/science/whatever person and you want her to like what you want.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, sometimes the reason you don't like a subject is that you're not good at it or really you find it too hard (not just 'too hard' because you don't want to try for something you don't want, just like running a marathon is 'too hard' for me because I don't really like running all that much, though I imagine I could train for one if I wanted to).  That's a different story, and suggests some intervention.  But if it's just 'boring' but she still can do it, well, I found memorizing biology pretty boring, too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-13T22:23:38.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16457" CreationDate="2015-02-13T23:52:26.517" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I regularly worked as sound engineer on child and teenage vacations with a touring musical (band and choir) and have made very good experiences with explicitly picking male ADHD children as helpers/roadies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience they&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tend to keep a good memory of the things explained. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can think logical / have a great understanding of technical stuff&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can repeat tasks with great accuracy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;love to help&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, they have been not so flexible when things change and may not easily see obvious solutions to previously unencountered problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, a career that requires some of the bullet points above may be a good fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13626" LastActivityDate="2015-02-13T23:52:26.517" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18476" CreationDate="2015-02-14T01:07:32.027" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Agreeing with David, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Limit &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; screen time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Possibly easier to go without any screen time for a couple weeks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've similarly seen night and day differences in our kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13627" LastActivityDate="2015-02-14T01:07:32.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18581" CreationDate="2015-02-14T01:17:15.820" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may already be doing this, but I would suggest finding 1 or 2 interests she has and developing a deep interest in them over time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it will fix the problem directly. But, I do think it will open up new lines of communication and a new way to understand each other as she grows from girl to woman. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13627" LastActivityDate="2015-02-14T01:17:15.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18636" CreationDate="2015-02-14T03:23:02.433" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is highly unlikely that this will do any damage at all, any more than, say, if one developed the habit of tucking their thumbs slightly into the folded fingers instead of over them when making a loose fist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The purpose of the toes is to help us balance on our feet and to aid in pushing off while walking, which has to be done with the toes flat on the floor/ground. If he's walking normally (and you observe normal toe position when he's walking barefoot), I would make no more of it, as function is maintained, and attention to this behavior may be reinforcing it. Also, why worry about what is harmless?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he actually does this while walking, however (please do tell us if he is; I'd be very curious to know, as I've never seen this), bring this to his doctor's attention. In this case, it would definitely throw off his gait and do some harm to his feet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I would ignore this myself if he's walking correctly, but if you feel you need to stop him from doing it, keeping him in well-fitting shoes most of the day would prevent this. It would also inhibit him from experiencing a relaxing 'habit' and would frustrate to a degree his sense of autonomy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-14T03:23:02.433" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12890" CreationDate="2015-02-14T10:44:26.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am new here and I have no idea how  old this post is... but the reason why I am here is because like most I have a 12 yr old daughter! Where do I begin! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's moody, irrational pubescent daughter of a single mother! Last year I remember bringing  up the question &quot;do you like girls&quot; ... Something in her actions in her secrets that of course I found even though she said no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now a year later 13 in 4 months... She's really struggling with herself and that is so very unfamiliar. I of course searching and digging and there was no surface to be found! Why is she acting out saying she's hurting herself? I check there's no wounds thank goodness, but there's something there right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I search within myself instead of what's on her surface. Like a ton of bricks It hit me &lt;em&gt;she wanted me to come out to her and tell her it's ok&lt;/em&gt; She feels she is homosexual but yet so young. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's never dated (boy or girl) obviously but she also has no interest. She does speak silently of a girl tho I had to search and I am not proud of disturbing her privacy but the answers I found allowed me to breath because I found a way to help her. When I came out for her it was like I watched her being born all over again!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13628" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-27T22:02:17.263" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T22:02:17.263" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18645" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-14T18:31:25.890" Score="5" ViewCount="1009" Body="&lt;p&gt;Background: My parents only put me (and all my 3 siblings) in a school when each of us were 5 years old. We turned out fine and I assumed it's the normal thing to do. Now I and my wife have a 2 years old, and see other families with children similar age already trying to find schools for their kids to go to. I'm confused, what's with the rush?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is, what important benefits are there from sending your kids to a school in an early age? Are they worth the investment? (e.g. your and your kid's time &amp;amp; effort, reduced flexibility due to the commitment and schedule). Can the benefits be obtained elsewhere or when the child is a little older? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4192" LastActivityDate="2017-09-03T19:17:27.703" Title="Is early education for 2-3 year olds worth it?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3827" CreationDate="2015-02-14T22:46:37.833" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, there are no techniques like &quot;sleep training&quot;. I am convinced, that sleep is not something one can learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite what many say, we never left our children crying in bed when the &quot;should sleep&quot;. For the night's sleep, usually my wife nursed them as they needed it (one or two times a night, when they were about 1 year old), and when she was absent I carried them around when they woke up until they slept again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doing it this way, our children never needed to fear to be alone during the night or bedtime. They do us a favour now by going to bed easily and sleeping very well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13626" LastActivityDate="2015-02-14T22:46:37.833" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18647" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-15T01:23:22.703" Score="8" ViewCount="1612" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has taken our two boys, 9 month old and 4 year old, and is denying me all contact with them. I already haven't seen or spoken to them in 2 weeks except for a 2 minute phone call with my 4 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was very distraught on the call, telling me he loved me and crying for me to come to see him. I have always been present in his life every day until now and it could take at least another 3-4 weeks for a court order to establish contact, although hopefully my wife will come to her senses before then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is how do i explain my absence to my child, Do I tell him the truth, that his mother stopped me from seeing him, tell him in a more general sense than some people have stopped me from seeing him or do i just make up a complete lie ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T07:21:54.607" Title="How to explain your absence to 4 year old" Tags="|separation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18645" CreationDate="2015-02-15T05:08:51.757" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It can be, yes.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://nieer.org/resources/research/PreschoolLastingEffects.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Preschool Education and Its Lasting Effects: Research and Policy Implications&lt;/a&gt; quite nicely summarizes and analyzes the majority of the major studies regarding early childhood education, including studies regarding children under 3 years of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children in these early programs generally:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are more likely to graduate high school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are more likely to attend a 4 year college&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are more likely to have highly skilled jobs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are less likely to commit violent crimes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are less likely to be &quot;held back&quot; a grade&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are less likely to be placed in remedial special education classes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other benefits seem to depend on the ethnicity of the child's family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, a couple things should be noted about these studies: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most of them involve children from low income families, so they are not truly randomized&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They all only compare children in the educational programs to children not in educational programs, which means none of them compare school-style education to structured parental education in the home (That is, they don't compare home-schooling at those ages to preschool)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The studies do not compare children who don't receive early education but more specialized later education against children who do receive the early education (That is, they don't compare kids who go to private schools, have private tutors, or go to &quot;better&quot; school for K-12 against those kids who go to preschool in the studies)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as the paper I referred to suggests, parents looking for a preschool education program that will yield the desired benefits should look for these things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Policy makers should not depart from preschool education models that have proven highly effective. These models typically have reasonably small class sizes and well-educated teachers with adequate pay.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Teachers in preschool programs should receive intensive supervision and coaching, and they should be involved in a continuous improvement process for teaching and learning.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Preschool programs should regularly assess children’s learning and development to monitor how well they are accomplishing their goals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Preschool programs, in order to produce positive effects on children’s behavior and later reductions in crime and delinquency, should be designed to develop the whole child, including social and emotional development and self-regulation. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Because an earlier start and longer duration does appear to produce better results, policies expanding access to children under 4 should prioritize disadvantaged children who are likely to benefit most. More broadly, preschool education policy should be developed in the context of comprehensive public policies and programs to effectively support child development from birth to age 5 and beyond.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't speak as to what such a preschool would cost. If the cost is high enough, the child may benefit as much as, or more, from that money being saved for private schooling or tutoring at later ages. &lt;a href=&quot;http://nces.ed.gov/nationsreportcard/pubs/studies/2006461.asp&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Other studies&lt;/a&gt; show that private schools can be much more effective than public schools. I don't believe any studies exist to compare children than are exclusively privately schooled against each other based on whether or not they attended preschool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Generally speaking, the lower the income level of the family, the more beneficial the effect of early childhood education.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-02-15T05:08:51.757" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18622" CreationDate="2015-02-15T05:29:02.720" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the answers already here are completely valid.  I just want to add that we humans are social beings; social: simply put, how to make sure I'm popular. Children are very quick to try to control their social surroundings (read: social status); for the first 20 years of their life, there's little else of any importance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Effectively, the child is playing one parent on the other (perhaps trying to claim some importance in the 3 way relationship.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to site a study about social issues with threes, but I just did a Google search for such topics and found nothing...  I was pretty sure there was a certain danger when leaving young (3 three year old?) children together, 2 of them will gang up on the other and they're too young to recognize the moral limits.  Anyway, I digress; the point is that children know how to turn people against each other. (a strong statement that I'd hoped to back up with citations... I still think it's worth entertaining the idea though)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coming back to the issue, my advise is always communication.  Ask why.  Ask why like you yourself are a child.  Why don't you like mommy/daddy?  what did they do? &lt;strong&gt;&quot;is it because you want to keep doing what we're doing now?&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; why does it bother you?  Remember the other day [cite situation] when you had fun with mommy/daddy?  Why not now? Every answer, just ask why? (never assume what they're thinking, make them say it).  Do your best to keep it from sounding as monotonous as it does when a child does it, the point is the question, not the tone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep probing, test their level of moral.  See if they would rather the other parent gone.  Explain how much that would bother you, hurt you.  It might not amount to much in the immediate conversation, but you plant seeds in the child's mind that the world is not just about them (many things in a child's life certainly point to them being the center of the universe; as a parent myself, they are!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastActivityDate="2015-02-15T05:29:02.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18647" CreationDate="2015-02-15T06:02:18.030" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am so sorry to read this. You have my sympathy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First (I hope you've done this already), hire a lawyer. Does your wife have the legal right to withhold visitation from you? Find out. If she doesn't want to see you, maybe she can drop your children off at a friend's so you could see them without fear of confrontation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, is there an equivalent to &lt;a href=&quot;https://fathers4kids.com/&quot;&gt;Fathers for equal rights&lt;/a&gt; in your country? Maybe they can help you as well. There is also information on co-parenting, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid blaming your wife to your children (&lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt;). Read about co-parenting do's and don'ts. Don't lie to your child but don't go into details with him. Your problems with your wife belong to you and your wife, and should not be discussed per se with your son, which will cause him further pain. It is truthful to say you really want to see him right now, but because a judge has to give you permission (or whatever your lawyer advises you), you can't just yet. Tell him you love him, and that will never change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you're able to see your children very soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-15T06:02:18.030" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18581" CreationDate="2015-02-15T06:20:50.747" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Same gender parent child relationships are often confrontational, it's normal. As you're probably already doing, you need to find the right level of push.  Too much pushing school subjects on kids can have the opposite effect.  Offer help rather than enforcing study, if your daughter really isn't into it she'll actually be learning to hate it.  You will have to let her be her own person after all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Math isn't everything (although it was to me... and now I'm an engineer); I recently was trying to help my niece with some math, it was about refactoring mixed radicals.  It's ok if your eyes glaze over on that, my niece's eyes did too.  I wasn't able to come up with a decent reason on how it could be useful to answer the prominent question &quot;why do I have to learn this&quot;.  The only reason I could think of is to see if her mind was ready/willing to understand that concept... which is of no value to a teenager, and questionable value in everyday life also.  When was the last time you heard someone remark about an irrational number verses rational?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long story short, I failed too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastActivityDate="2015-02-15T06:20:50.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8674" CreationDate="2015-02-15T15:50:10.320" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know a lot of time has passed since you wrote your post - can't pinpoint the date as it's not coming up - but I hope things have improved for you. In case they haven't - or even if they have - just a couple of thoughts from both a professional and personal perspective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) I don't totally agree with the previous reply. When parents split, so so frequently the child acts out with - and punishes - the parent who is there for them, consistent, and with whom they feel absolutely safe. Think about it a moment - if I scream &quot;I hate you!&quot; at my Dad who has encouraged behaviour I find scary in myself (eg kicking my mum), has a bit of a hair trigger temper and has already left me to form a second family, he might totally reject me, blow his top, stop loving me.... But I'm so angry and upset and I can't contain these feelings. So I am on my best best behaviour with him and I come home and give you hell.  And you still love me. So I can safely do it. Also I can't understand - because I'm only 12 - why, when you've always been there for me, you can't just FIX everything, and me.  So I'm maybe also punishing you for not being all powerful and perfect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is all so very very unfair, but it's also a (nasty but heartfelt!) testament to your positive parenting. Please hold onto that and don't doubt yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) The fact your daughter can control her temper and behaviour when she needs to with others, means she CAN learn to stop doing it with you whether it has a genetic component or not. I think you do need some support and input, as it's not reasonable to expect superhero perfection from yourself.  You can no doubt best find that yourself local to you so I'm not going to teach you to suck eggs. If you can put some hard earned cash into sessions with a counsellor, find one through the accredited professional counselling body and I'd look for someone specialising in life change and children/young people. It's ok to be upfront about your resources so you don't feel under pressure to get pulled in for more than you can afford.  Whatever advice you take or don't take, I feel sure from the whole way you write that you are going to be doing great and that some day your daughter will appreciate it.   All the best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13632" LastActivityDate="2015-02-15T15:50:10.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18645" CreationDate="2015-02-15T22:59:46.437" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on the alternatives. In many Western countries, there is an incredible push toward early academics, and this can put the child off learning especially if they're not ready for it. However in Finland, formal learning only starts at the age of 7. An early childhood program is more beneficial than sitting around and watching TV all day. However many schools have a one-size-fits-all approach to learning. Children have windows of development, and it can be detrimental to, for example, force a child to read before s/he is ready to do so. A Montessori, Waldorf or play-based program can hone the child's imagination and teach them practical skills. A stay-at-home parent can provide a strong foundation of care and support, just by playing together, going for nature walks together, cooking together etc. And the benefit of this is a small class size and a 'program' that takes into account the child's passions and burgeoning interests. It's rarely a good idea to react to fears that the child will be left behind, as many parents do, though it's understandable in our culture. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-15T22:59:46.437" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18655" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18665" CreationDate="2015-02-15T23:04:09.907" Score="2" ViewCount="2020" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old absolutely loves jigsaw puzzles. He is now doing 200 piece puzzles alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What part of the brain this is related to, and what other children's activities stimulate the same areas of the brain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-02-17T04:13:26.787" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T04:50:50.203" Title="What activities stimulate the same areas of the brain as jigsaw puzzles?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18638" CreationDate="2015-02-15T23:15:18.480" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds stressful for you all. First of all, don't expect immediate change. Your son sounds like he is experiencing emotional pain and this is his way of reacting to it. It may be an engrained habit and it may take a while to learn a new one. I would suggest a few things. First get help and support for you and your wife. If you are taking care of yourself, expressing your frustration and how this is impacting you to others, then you are more likely to be in a place of wholeness when you try to be present with your son. Secondly, try to understand what his anger is about. In the following I am referring to Marshall Rosenberg's NVC (Non-Violent Communication). Anger is usually a 'hard' emotion, and there are other emotions underneath. These include sadness, frustration, confusion, disappointment etc. When he is experiencing any of these, then one of his universal human needs is not being met (e.g. connection, autonomy, fun, learning, support etc.). When he gets angry, try empathizing with him. This means listening deeply to what is going on in him, reflecting back his feelings and asking what he is longing for. This might sound something like, &quot;You seem frustrated. Is it because you are longing for some choice in what activity you do?&quot; Of course, it can sound fake especially if your own need for empathy has not been met which is why I suggested you take care of yourself first. I hope this helps. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-15T23:15:18.480" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18657" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-16T08:13:15.863" Score="10" ViewCount="537" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 8 and has problems with bullies in school. He is one of youngest and smallest in his class and doesn't react appropriately&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt; when someone bullies him, and I guess that made him the target for bullies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He didn't say that he has this problem, but his friends said that. And they said that it last for too long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of just talking to him, and encouraging him to do something (what my wife suggests), I am planing to even talk to the school headmaster and the teacher, since the bullies are in the same class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to resolve a problem with school bullies?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt; By appropriately, I mean to yell at them &quot;Don't do that&quot;, &quot;Stop&quot;, report to teacher or just simply to hit back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3916" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-16T14:46:33.320" LastActivityDate="2017-12-26T05:10:04.930" Title="How to help my son to resolve the problem with school bullies?" Tags="|bullying|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18658" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18659" CreationDate="2015-02-16T11:32:38.207" Score="9" ViewCount="2055" Body="&lt;p&gt;When should a child be allowed to take part in &quot;dangerous&quot; sports or activities?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm thinking of letting my son try motocross when he's &quot;old enough&quot; - but when is that, &lt;strong&gt;when is a child old enough to understand the risks involved?&lt;/strong&gt; I've seen parents with children as young as 3-4 years old on small (50cc - circa 5-10mph) bikes, some with stabilisers some without. By the time they're in their teens, they typically ride much larger and faster bikes at potentially lethal speeds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ignoring the motor-sport context, whilst it's rare, I'm conscious that simply breaking bones can result in death (usually either from compound bleeding or infection etc.) so I'm very aware of the potential consequences - but my child may not be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My main motivation is that I want my child to learn some life-skills that many less &quot;harmful&quot; activities often lack - elements of bravery, commitment, physical fitness and large components of risk (assessment) and &quot;face your fears&quot; experience that I want my son to learn, to make a mensch out of him. I want to instil a sense of grit and determination and the ability to keep pushing when things get tough. IMHO, too many parents avoid exposing their children to life's difficulties (risk, losing, physical effort etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, from my own perspective, I'd very much enjoy being able to spend time riding with my son - but I don't feel very comfortable exposing him to danger (especially when he's too young to understand the consequences). By the same token, I'm conscious that if he isn't exposed to the sport young enough, he'll be unlikely to reach a professional standard, if that were to be something he chose to pursue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone allow their child to participate in a dangerous (or contact) sport? When did they start and &lt;strong&gt;how did you mitigate against the risks?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can assume they'll be wearing all the best protective equipment and only riding in appropriate places (closed circuits, with riders of the same age) - never on public roads without a helmet etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9980" LastEditorUserId="9980" LastEditDate="2015-09-23T09:14:39.610" LastActivityDate="2015-12-08T22:48:36.317" Title="Should I allow my child to participate in dangerous sports?" Tags="|pre-schooler|pre-teen|sports|injury|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18658" CreationDate="2015-02-16T13:59:08.437" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few things we consider when kids are pushing to do certain activities. My daughter has taken ballet for years, and will be starting pre-pointe lessons soon. This sounds less frightening than motocross, but there are risks of both short-term injury and long-term foot structure damage if she doesn't practice, wear properly fitted shoes, and listen to her teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Invest in &lt;strong&gt;proper equipment&lt;/strong&gt;, and keep it well maintained and properly sized. This can get annoying and expensive (darn kids keep getting taller!) but it's important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Long-term interest&lt;/strong&gt;. If my child decide they want to try Very Risky Activity, and has zero background or knowledge about it (besides, say, &quot;all my friends think it's cool&quot;), that's not a very compelling argument. But I am definitely willing to research, and/or try something similar that's lower risk to work up to it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Good instruction&lt;/strong&gt;.&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the teacher isn't up front with me about the risks, I get concerned -- are &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; aware of the risks of injury, and are they able/willing to teach ways to reduce risk?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A lot of safety comes down to (1) proper form, and (2) not goofing around. If the teacher takes things seriously (discouraging goofing off) &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; ties otherwise tedious practice into safety explanations (&quot;We stretch every class so you reduce the chance of a serious muscle pull&quot;), they're conveying good information.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Practice&lt;/strong&gt;. Much of this is so they learn proper form and technique that will keep them safer. But also -- if my child is not taking the sport seriously enough to put in the time to learn, he's probably more likely to be injured... and why am I bothering to invest all that time and money for something he isn't actually dedicated to?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discuss the consequences&lt;/strong&gt; that could potentially result. This is probably the most age-dependent factor, since you have to measure your child's maturity level, awareness of risk, &lt;em&gt;tolerance&lt;/em&gt; of risk (some kids are scared of injury, others seem to not care at all), and ability to understand the consequences. It's important to ensure that:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child knows possible negative outcomes (bruises, broken bones, concussion, death)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child knows how relatively risky they are (bruises are likely, death is unlikely), but also how their behavior and approach to the sport can change those risks (death is more likely if you bike without a helmet)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child knows you're going to be keeping an eye on this, and since you care about his safety, and if he starts misbehaving (biking without a helmet) there will be consequences (no more getting to bike)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-02-16T13:59:08.437" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18657" CreationDate="2015-02-16T14:50:19.557" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are lots of possible responses and the one that you choose depends on your values and ability to do the response fully. When I was bullied at school, although I was doing karate at the time, an aggressive response was just not me. Taking your son's character into consideration is therefore important. Here are some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give your son some empathy, understanding and support for what he is going through. Chances are that he will feel bad and may internalize the messages he hears. Allow him to express his feelings without there being a should message about what he needs to do, which on some level he might interpret as blame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to the school administration. They have a legal responsibility to keep your son safe. Find out what their policy is about responding to bullying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep a diary about incidents if you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask someone at school if it's possible to dialogue with the bullies. Find out what's going on with them and what emotional issues they're reacting to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Punitive measures may not work long term though if anyone is in danger and they are the only option, pursue that route of course. Ask the school if they are willing to try a Restorative Circle. See this article: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.circle-space.org/2011/11/18/5-steps-to-use-restorative-justice-circles-for-bully-behavior/&quot;&gt;http://www.circle-space.org/2011/11/18/5-steps-to-use-restorative-justice-circles-for-bully-behavior/&lt;/a&gt; It needs to have a competent facilitator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck with it. It's a hard situation, and sadly too common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-16T14:50:19.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18658" CreationDate="2015-02-16T15:08:35.783" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to put an answer that is deliberately dual to Erica's excellent exposition on the practicalities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think absolutely yes. There is an issue with children at the moment that since they sit at home and play on tablets or gawk at the TV they don't actually do the things that us oldies did, like learn to to informal and natural risk assessments, learn to compete with others in person, get outside and get physical, all of which have massive benefits in terms of life skills. (Lots of references on this --  top professionals are deeply concerned about vulnerability issues in mid-late teens etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the earlier the better. If the child starts doing something early on in life, they will start doing it when the risk is small and they are much more likely to listen to the instructor, and much less likely to be able to just nip off and do something stupid. They'll get a healthy respect for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal example of this is that I have a 6 year-old who I can completely trust to be outside with an axe on his own, because I have been using an axe with him since he was 2, and he has a very healthy respect for it, doesn't show off with it and has never had an accident. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a similar way he does BMX and has a healthy respect for that too -- he does jumps, gets air, but won't push it over the top as he's learnt his limits from the low speed that he was confined to a year ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I love that you're thinking of doing  MX. Awesome idea, plus it'll get him into a whole new realm of community what with the races, engine fixing and really forge those life skills. Fantastic!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-02-16T15:08:35.783" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14797" CreationDate="2015-02-16T15:50:34.857" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The more your father feels pushed away the more outrageous the demands he will make. If he was seeing you enough in person, he wouldn't care how long you took to return texts or IMs. Basically as he feels left out, he is thrashing around trying to find a way to connect that will work. If you add to that any vagueness in your explanations (&quot;we just can't fit it in this weekend&quot; rather than &quot;driving to you is going to be too hard on my neck and I have a very stressful week coming up at work&quot;) then his behaviour will continue to escalate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I encourage you to look very closely at what you want. If you genuinely want to see your father every few months then don't pretend (at least to yourself and within your nuclear family) otherwise. It is ok for that to be the frequency at which you see him. If you genuinely want to see him (and for your children to see him) as often as your mother, then you can work towards making that happen, given the restrictions you have in place. You don't need to tell your father what you decide but you do need to really truly know your own wants and wishes on this matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, try to give him what he wants on some small thing. This should de-escalate the demands a little. For example, IM or text him occasionally even before he reaches out to you, instead of thinking &quot;phew, a whole morning in which my father left me alone, thank heaven for a little peace.&quot; When you decline one of his requests, make sure that you &lt;strong&gt;both&lt;/strong&gt; explain your reason &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; offer an alternative. Examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is not a weekend I we can put the babies in the car and drive to you. I'm sorry and I would love to see you. Is there any way you can come to us? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This weekend we have already made plans. How about the weekend after? Let's plan it now so I can be sure we can do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get him on Skype or FaceTime or whatever so he can interact with the children and with you. Send him pictures randomly of the kids eating breakfast or some artwork the older one made, or other day to day little stuff. Help him feel that connection and help the kids feel it too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a parent is super hard. It's exhausting. Some days the kids take all your energy, and this is without either the parent or the child having a health problem. To find anything else for someone who doesn't actually live in your house seems like it must be impossible. A grandparent who lives nearby and comes to see you instead of asking you to come over is a real gift. Sometimes, keeping an active relationship with a grandparent just adds more work to a parent's workload, and only you can decide whether you want to do that or not. If you do, it will be a lot like the other work you do as a parent - hard emotional and physical work, going the extra mile (perhaps quite literally as you undertake that two hour trip) as a gift to your children and your father. You may reap rewards from it and glow with pride years from now when you see the relationship between your children and your father, and know that you put in the time and effort to make it happen. Or you may not - life can be unpredictable. It's not wrong to choose to see less of your father than he wants. All I would suggest in that case is going for tremendous transparency about why you are saying no to what he asks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for what happened when your youngest was born, set it all aside. It was a time of turmoil and fear. He feels he was left out of an important family time and deprived of a chance to contribute. You feel he was selfishly thinking of himself instead of helping you the way you needed to be helped. Let it go. &lt;strong&gt;Don't make what happens from now on be about what happened then.&lt;/strong&gt; You choose whether you want to see him every few months, every few weeks, or many times a week (online in that case I would presume) and then you put a plan into motion that's right for your family. That might mean some uncomfortable traveling and making a sacrifice for your children. Or it might mean some uncomfortable phone calls while you explain your reasoning to the person who's not getting visited. Either way, it's your decision because this is your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-02-16T15:50:34.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18645" CreationDate="2015-02-16T21:05:20.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughters are attending the same preschool I went to when I was a kid. My oldest was enrolled when she was 2, though she turned 3 a couple months after beginning preschool. You can probably tell whether or not your child is ready for the transition into programs like this. It began as a 2 day a week thing for 3 hours a day and each year after has a different schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have only seen positive things come out of it. They get exposed to a self paced, self interested and relatively hands off experience to let them grow and learn with other kids in ways that probably wouldn't have happened if they were kept home until kindergarten. Plus, when it is time for kinder, they wont be suddenly thrust into a 5 day schedule that's the opposite of what they are used to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No doubt it depends on the kid. Some may have no problems transitioning since typically a kinder aged kid is around 5 or 6 depending on the requirements of the district or program. At that age they might be just willing to go to school. But mine, having been exposed to preschool, approached school as something they wanted to do and enjoy doing. I am confident they will have no issues transitioning into regular school and I think I base that largely on how they have grown in preschool, how they have learned to socialize, the routines of play, snack times, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to note is that our preschool in particular is pretty demanding. 12 days out of the year I have to be in the classroom, and volunteer for many of the school activities. The hours don't really mesh with common employment, and it is pretty expensive. Like second mortgage expensive. It's all worth it, I believe, but don't fail to consider how it will affect all aspects of your life as well as theirs. We're both working parents so it's somewhat miraculous we can manage this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, I would say I suggest it. It has nothing to do with &quot;rush&quot; per say. More to do with easing into social development and routines, as well as exposure to many more activities and friends than I could have delivered on my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-02-16T21:05:20.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18637" CreationDate="2015-02-16T22:12:32.790" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I completely agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18639/9826&quot;&gt;Joe's answer&lt;/a&gt; but wanted to add an example from my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found math in middle school and high school to be as boring as rocks. I was lucky, because my dad bought back some books on &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fractal&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;fractals&lt;/a&gt; and I could use some programs (and write some myself) to see how math was involved in:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the Mandelbrot set&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;measuring the coastline or fractal dimensions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the shape of mountains (e.g., landscape generator programs)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;snowflakes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As it turned out, with a bit of programming, I wrote some programs for a few fractals and my math teacher was willing to let me give a little presentation to my class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Much&lt;/em&gt; cooler than simple algebra problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So my advice is to figure out how to make math more interesting. Why does she find it boring?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, as my example illustrates, maybe find some examples or branches of math she won't find boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Topology (studying knots, surfaces, computational geometry)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fractals&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chaos theory&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Predicting the stock market / machine learning&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Statistics&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of great possibilities. I also really enjoyed reading the history of mathematics - some weird and crazy characters along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-02-16T22:12:32.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18655" CreationDate="2015-02-16T22:41:33.327" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;All parts. There are number of reactions that happen in the brain when solving puzzles. We are talking about shape recognition, color recognition, object orientation, memory from past experiences. If he's doing this good on jig saws I would move him up to more complicated puzzles, maybe see if there is a simplified 3d puzzle for him to take a whack at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13643" LastActivityDate="2015-02-16T22:41:33.327" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18341" CreationDate="2015-02-16T22:54:14.897" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though I understand your frustration, you're asking to reprogram your eight year old. She will put her attention where she wants and you can't change that. I would also turn my attention to her tv shows. Its astounding the stuff that they are putting on Disney these days. I can guarantee she learned this bossy and mouthy behavior from somewhere. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also seek alternative education. I had similar problems in 4th grade and they assumed I had ADHD (like my older brother) when in fact I was just bored of the material. Our daily curriculum is designed for people who need 45 minutes of repetition, not for the ones that get it the first time it was explained. She may be bored because she's not being challenged by the material, which will cause her to default to not paying attention meaning that she misses when they move onto something new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also turn my attention away from her grades to benchmark her intellectual capabilities as grading policies are innately biased towards interaction rather than correctness. This creates an atmosphere where extroverts, who need to project their ideas onto others, excel; where as, introverts, who aren't being shy, they just don't feel comfortable expressing themselves in a judgmental environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for her attachment issues, this is normal during this phase. We are more aware of our own complexities and we seek those attributes out in others. Jealousy is something that is sure to follow. The only thing you can do is spend some quality time with her to show her an example of how to interact with people. (I'm sorry if this seems judgmental, but every &quot;mouthy&quot; child I've ever encountered has had a &quot;mouthy&quot; parent. We mimic our parents more than ourselves. She is probably repeating a tone she heard you take with someone, most likely out of sarcasm.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13643" LastEditorUserId="13643" LastEditDate="2015-02-17T02:02:02.633" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T02:02:02.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18633" CreationDate="2015-02-16T23:07:47.623" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, exhale. It's a little known fact that we actually are supposed to wake up during the evening. It's only in the last 100 years that we force ourselves to sleep through the night, pre-electricity people regularly got up around midnight for an hour or so and then returned to bed. If she's fighting to go to bed every time, try pushing her bedtime back by 45 minutes. Contrary to popular belief, no two individuals need the same amount of sleep or at the same rate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forcing her to stay in her crib while she's awake will only create that association in her mind. As much as I feel like there needs to be consistency in routines, when disruption has become consistent, it's time to change the routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for her forcing herself onto your boobs, that's a bonding thing. Especially if you're forcing weaning, she will become very clingy when something triggers that mindset, ie: someone else getting attention. Enjoy it while it lasts because pushing her away too much now has been proven to disrupt future bonding attempts. Her brain isn't all there yet, many areas are still developing. Once an area is developed, various sensory inputs will imprint the pathways with routinely used associations (happiness and mom, safety and mom, security and mom, etc.) If that part of the brain isn't developed yet, then none of the previous actions will have an effect on the imprinting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also know that 21st century man is the only species that forces weaning on their young at such a young age. Many primates don't allow others to touch their young for the first year or more and continue a codependent lifestyle until the child reaches puberty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13643" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-16T13:16:47.727" LastActivityDate="2018-12-16T13:16:47.727" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18658" CreationDate="2015-02-17T02:04:00.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Someone who sees and treats injuries routinely will look at things differently than most people. Deliberately putting oneself in harm's way is hard for me to understand (although I did so as a late teen as well.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, I would never encourage my kids to engage in motocross, American football, race car driving, boxing, or other dangerous activities. (My kids did have mini-bikes and a go-cart with seat belts and roll bars. They partook in water sports, soccer, and other activities as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the kid has an accident, and on getting out of rehab for his extensive injuries (which might also involve more surgery) says, &quot;It was totally worth it!&quot;, then I say go for it. Start him off on a mini-bike and get him ever more powerful bikes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, I want my children to do what they love, and to be wise. If your son has a burning desire to do motocross, that's one thing. But for a parent to actually encourage a dangerous activity? I just don't see it. There are plenty of fun things to do which are less harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9980" LastEditDate="2015-09-15T20:35:54.987" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T20:35:54.987" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18655" CreationDate="2015-02-17T04:50:50.203" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most research I can find regarding the benefit of jigsaw puzzles is actually centered around senior citizens and Alzheimer's prevention. However, we can still use that research to see how it benefits children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Jigsaw puzzles engage the brain to retain information on shapes and colors in order to choose pieces that will fit together properly. This hunt for pieces requires your brain to memorize what each piece looks like or should look like and what kinds of pieces you are searching for in order to complete the picture. Doing this repeatedly reinforces short-term memory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.intentionalcaregiver.com/jigsaw-puzzles-benefit-the-brain/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Intentional Caregiver&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Jigsaw puzzles are excellent brain training and co-ordination improvement tools and are quite fun! In particular, they develop your abilities to reason, analyze, sequence, deduce, logical thought processes and problem solving skills. These types of puzzles also improve hand-eye co-ordination and develop a good working sense of spatial arrangements. In schools and other training establishments, jigsaw puzzles are extensively used as learning aids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brainhealthandpuzzles.com/jigsaw_puzzle.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Brain and Health Puzzles&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In adults, usually the memory-training aspects of jigsaw puzzles are emphasized. In children, we see that there's also the benefit of coordination and a variety of other thinking and reasoning skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal favorite type of activity that also engages these skills is &lt;a href=&quot;http://toy%20blocks&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;toy blocks&lt;/a&gt;! That article from Parenting Science suggests that toy blocks have the following benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Improving spatial skills&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increasing math skills&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Improving creative, divergent problem solving&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Improving social play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Possibly increase language skills&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage creativity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Educators Technology has a list of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.educatorstechnology.com/2014/02/the-7-skills-kids-can-develop-from.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;7 benefits&lt;/a&gt; to toy blocks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you compare the various benefits of toy construction sets to jigsaw puzzles, you'll see that construction sets improve not only the same skills as jigsaw puzzles, but added areas such as creativity and literacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't suggest toy blocks without recommending LEGO products. (As an &lt;a href=&quot;http://thebrickblogger.com/2011/01/lego-dictionary-advanced-terms/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AFOL&lt;/a&gt; and a former LEGO Customer Service rep, it's my duty.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;LEGO products are the highest-quality of any block-based construction system on the market. Not only do they use the highest quality plastic ABS, but they have the most accurate injection molds (accurate to 5 micrometers, and only 18 pieces in 1,000,000 fail to meet the specs). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;LEGO also has products geared specifically for toddlers. Their &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lego.com/en-us/duplo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;DUPLO products&lt;/a&gt; feature larger-scale bricks (exactly double each dimension of LEGO bricks) which are easy for small hands to manipulate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From personal experience, DUPLO bricks are also great for teaching colors and sorting. As your child gets older they can also be used to teach counting. If you happen to get LEGO &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; DUPLO sized bricks, they're compatible!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Building and construction toys are one of the larger sections of the total global toy market. As such, they're available at almost every price range in a variety of formats. For instance, K'NEX has a unique rod &amp;amp; gear building style, Little Tikes Waffle blocks have a waffle-like design, and TinkerToy now makes plastic building toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T04:50:50.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7902" CreationDate="2015-02-17T06:50:03.770" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually the tantrum is generally a direct reaction to the fact that the parents ARE in control &amp;amp; the child is not. I really disagree the idea that if you have a child who tantrums it means you are allowing them to control you. If a child feels in control they don't tantrum at all. It's a stage - a shitty, shitty stage - that both my boys have gone through (one is going through right now) &amp;amp; the son I am carrying in utero is going to go through it as well. Apparently between 3 &amp;amp; 5 boys have a surge of testosterone not seen again until puberty (something for us all to look forward too LOL) &amp;amp; this is what I return to mentally when I'm feeling like I am going to lose my shit (and sometimes I do just lose my shit). I do find some little things help, like giving control where I can &amp;amp; asking what help he would like (within appropriate choices of course). I often find this is the time where they start to not want any help - tantrums for assisting with putting on their seatbelt, but then tantrums for NOT assisting when they're putting on their seatbelt, you just can't win. So I ASK: &quot;We're getting in the car - would you like help getting in? Ok, good boy you climbed in your seat yourself, what a big boy you are. Would you like help doing up your seatbelt? No? Ok, just go nice &amp;amp; slow, if you do it carefully you can do it yourself. You did it! Well done...&quot; It is TEDIOUS but it can keep things on the level. The peeling of apples or opening packets is a big one here too - stick the peel back on, do the packet back up. So by default I just don't. If he asks, I then look him in the eye &amp;amp; say &quot;Ok, if I peel this, you understand it's peeled, right? I can't stick it back on once it's done. Are you SURE? Because you can't have another apple. It's your apple, so you can choose how you eat it, but once you've chosen, that's it.&quot; I also use choice in soothing, to redirect the responsibility back onto themselves, because they tend to get very accusatory ie &quot;YOU WRECKED MY APPLE! IT'S YOUR FAULT!!&quot; So I soothe them with  - &quot;I'm sorry you're sad about your choice. Next time you have an apple you can choose differently.&quot; Above all, NEVER give them another apple (or muesli bar or whatever the item is). That is how you remain in control as the parent. They have SOME choice, but you have the final say. And as for biblical references - um no. The bible is also the book parents are told to spank their kids with an iron rod &amp;amp; wives need to &quot;obey&quot; their husbands. There are many great parenting books out there. The bible is not one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13647" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T06:50:03.770" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18657" CreationDate="2015-02-17T07:08:44.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A bully is a tyrant in training. Dealing with a bully is as challenging as dealing with a tyrant -- none of us are born with the skills to handle them well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was about 7yo, I asked my mom, &quot;Mommy, why do kids act one way at school and another way when they are not at school... I am me wherever I am?&quot;  The question fell on confused ears as it does for so many of us: &quot;Why are people not true to themselves?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is that they are, but that they do not know themselves and that leads to inconsistent behavior as they try to define themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you deal with a bully?  You yourself have listed a variety of ways, but how does one -- on the fly -- choose &lt;em&gt;which&lt;/em&gt; of those ways?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will choose the way they see most fitting at the time.  Your task is to help them in identifying the options available to them even though they may not have seen them at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my mother once told me of a school she attended where she was the only one of that race present.  The other girls would pick on her and sometimes that would result in violence.  One day she ended that by carrying a brick in her purse.  When she walloped them with it, she was given respect and left alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As another example, when I was in high school there were these guys I thought would try to get violent with me.  I offered to teach them what I knew of martial arts.  After the first class, they asked me if I would ever use it against them.  I replied with the question, &quot;Well, you would never attack me, right?&quot;  No battle ever ensued.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;solution&quot; to a problem is a function of the nature of the other person.  Your task is to help your child identify the nature of the other person so that the most peaceful solution can be achieved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, do not think of it as a failure on your child's part, but an opportunity for you to better educate your child on the process of understanding the other party so that an effective (ideally peaceful) solution can be achieved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;How?&quot; was your question.  The answer you already know.  My reply is that you'd be best served in delivery the answer while simultaneously respecting the context so that your child can grow to be the balanced adult s/he is meant to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T07:08:44.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18647" CreationDate="2015-02-17T07:21:54.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two weeks is an eternity, but it is also a blip in time.  If you had the power, I am 100% sure you'd alter time so that those weeks would be only seconds!  A loving parent's absence is devastation no matter the duration!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, assuming your ethics are as mine, &lt;strong&gt;do not lie&lt;/strong&gt;!  The truth told without regard to the listener, though, can be harmful. &quot;Oh, son/daughter I want to be there with you but something bad that we both don't like isn't letting me!  I'm working on it and I'll be there to give you a super-big hug and kiss just as soon as I can.&quot; -- it tells the truth, does not involve negativity with the mother, and simultaneously offers your child &lt;em&gt;realistic&lt;/em&gt; hope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The characteristics I just identified are those you want to keep forefront in your discussions with your child: 1) I am there for you; 2) I love you and will express that directly as soon as I am there; and 3) nothing will stop me from being there for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter the mother's faults, she may see the error of her current ways (see my previous posts as an example) and she will &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; be their mother, so doing your utmost to facilitate a positive relationship with both parents is in the best interest of your children, even if it feels (or &lt;em&gt;truly is&lt;/em&gt;) challenging to support on your part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been there and done that, so I truly understand the type of challenge you are currently undergoing and -- no offense intended -- I wish the best for your children (which is, I believe, why you posted here).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T07:21:54.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18633" CreationDate="2015-02-17T13:19:24.937" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;None of my kids slept through the night until between 3 &amp;amp; 4 years of age. I have 3 kids. It is perfectly normal behaviour. I work 30 hours a week &amp;amp; haven't slept through the night in well over 6 years. It is part of parenting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13647" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T13:19:24.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18677" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-17T18:08:36.030" Score="20" ViewCount="13139" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be six years old in another month and since he has been 1 years old his dad has been in and out of his life. He has been to prison twice and spent a year both times he went, so that automatically cost my son two years without living the other three years with his dad coming in and out of his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He would visit him for a few weeks, disappear for months at a time, randomly show up, and want to see him again. Well, the last time he did a year in prison was recently. He got out in January, and he has sent messages to my mom wanting to see him. My question is: Should I?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13649" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-18T00:35:17.710" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T04:25:46.110" Title="Should I cut my child's dad out of his life?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|parents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18677" CreationDate="2015-02-17T19:34:26.103" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering what needs of yours and your son's are being met by having his father in his life. I am imagining for you it might be wanting the best for your son, and I am imagining for your son it is the love of a father. I infer from your post that perhaps other important needs aren't being met for either of you. For you, I am guessing support, understanding and ease, and for your son I am guessing consistent presence. I agree with the above comment that the legal custody status is important. I don't think there's a definitive answer anyone can give you about what will work for you. Only you know that. I do think sometimes we need to have boundaries in our lives so we can best meet the needs of ourselves as parents and our children, and where you put those boundaries is a matter for you to decide given what's the best way to meet yours and your son's needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-17T19:34:26.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18677" CreationDate="2015-02-17T19:41:53.737" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;My unpopular opinion is it's not your call to make. Your child is definitely old enough to know if he wants to see his father or not. If he's not in any actual danger, I think a parent has every right to see their child. If you're concerned about a negative impact, then supervised visits may be best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can say that I personally had a father that was in and out of my life. After just three years of what one might call regular visits (one weekend every 3-4 months), I decided I didn't want him in my life. Your child needs to feel like he has a say in this or it will be &quot;mommy kept me away from daddy&quot; until they are old enough to understand otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13643" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-02-18T01:12:20.427" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T01:12:20.427" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4053" CreationDate="2015-02-17T22:30:24.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3 children, a 6 year old daughter, an 8 year old daughter and a 7 year old son. The 6 year old holds the anxiety towards mommy leaving. I find that letting her know what's happening hours before she leaves (gymnastics with my other 2 children, she has a class by herself a different day) is the best way to soften the blow. She still cries when they all go, which is understandable. I ignore the cries for a little while, then I suggest some activities that keep her busy. The anxiety has went down a lot since I started this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13652" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-29T07:41:52.950" LastActivityDate="2018-03-29T07:41:52.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18683" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18687" CreationDate="2015-02-18T00:56:56.757" Score="8" ViewCount="468" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 years old daughter attaches a lot of importance to toys, clothes, presents ... How do you help your kids take some distance with that ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sample behaviour I'm uncomfortable with :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;asking grandma &quot;what present did you bring today ?&quot; (she comes most weeks with a small toy or stuffed animal)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;taking a toy from her younger brother by force&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;crying very loud when she can't get an object from the house or choosing the colour of her clothes in the morning (she is apart from that very sensible and we can discuss most other topics)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;insisting on sleeping with 15 stuffed animals &amp;amp; dolls in the bed and a dozen books at hand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1659" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T21:59:04.463" Title="How do you handle &quot;materialist&quot; behaviour?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|presents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18677" CreationDate="2015-02-18T02:03:00.833" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Without more information about your legal status, we won't be able to give a fitting answer. However, I will try based on the given information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;We need not destroy the past. It is gone.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;- John Cage&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is no indication the father has had a bad influence on him or might expose him to the wrong people, I can't find any cause for your son not to see his father. If he has done so in the past, it's time to figure out if he has changed or not. People make mistakes and sometimes those are severe enough to go to prison. But that in itself does not provide enough information whether he is a dangerous person or not. Even if he used to be, your question does not give enough information to determine if he still is or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end it may not matter. According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://teachunicef.org/sites/default/files/sites/default/files/documents/Child_Rights_Unit_6-8.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Convention on the Rights of the Child, article 7, 8 and 9&lt;/a&gt; your son has a right to family ties. To answer the title of your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I cut my child's dad out of his life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless there is a high amount of risked involved letting the father see his son, it's not up to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind the opinion of your son. He may not have one yet, but he will get one. Whatever your choice will be, you better be prepared to explain it to him when he's old enough to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10056" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T02:03:00.833" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18683" CreationDate="2015-02-18T02:59:28.923" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The sample behaviors you describe seem to concern different issues, not all of which I would perceive as materialistic behavior. I would suggest that you explore your feelings of discomfort to find out what is going on with you, what your values are and how you respond to the possibility that your daughter may not share them. It can be hard, I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the first example, when your daughter asks her grandmother what present she brought her, I would ask you whether you are comfortable with grandma bringing her a present every week. If your daughter has come to expect that, then she is simply anticipating a certainty. Have you heard about the five language of love? They are according to Gary Chapman, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. Everyone has a primary language that they use to show their love and how they best understand love. It may be that that is grandma's and your daughter's primary language. Since quality time is my primary, I never quite understand people's occupation with gifts. Consider how you value expressing and receiving love. And it might be helpful to invite grandma to have a fun experience with your daughter rather than always bringing a gift.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your second example may be related to sibling rivalry or a power struggle with her younger brother. There are a variety of ways of handling this: an immediate logical consequence depending on the context, ensuring each of them has a toy, keeping them physically apart as much as possible. My own children do this and it is time-consuming and frustrating dealing with it. However it is usually indicative of a deeper need in my older child for attention, that I can sometimes divert through a quick connection with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The third instance sound like she is longing for choice and autonomy. One strategy you could try would be to empathize with her and give her some understanding for the fact that she can't always get what she wants, and then offering her something where she can feel empowered to make a choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as for the fourth, that may just be how she winds down at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you are able to get some ease around this within you and with your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T02:59:28.923" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4053" CreationDate="2015-02-18T09:17:57.303" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my little girl started nursery (daycare) I was told to give her a hug/kiss and say goodbye to her and tell her I'd be back later.  As others have advised, I always explained to her where I was going and that I would be coming back.  Then when I came to pick her up I'd  show how much I'd missed her and cuddle/kiss her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was advice given by the nursery staff.  I know it's not exactly the same as your situation, but she now loves going to nursery and is aware that I have to work (she will so &quot;mummy gone to work&quot;) and rarely cries when I leave her unless she is ill.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T09:17:57.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12780" CreationDate="2015-02-18T11:35:42.403" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to be blunt and politically incorrect here: it sounds to me like you've already decided to cut off the father's contact with his child, and are now asking us to justify your decision and assuage your guilt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My son has a right to make up his own mind about the kind of person&#xA;  his father is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he?  If he does, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are denying him that right, because &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are not allowing your son &lt;em&gt;any actual contact&lt;/em&gt; with his father.  Without it, all he will ever know about his father will be filtered through you, and since you clearly hold a very negative view of him, that will be passed on as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you yourself say, &quot;mentally and financially unstable, irresponsible, irrational and alcoholic&quot; are all &lt;em&gt;your own&lt;/em&gt; value judgments, and without concrete examples it's hard to say what any of those mean.  However, you're not saying he poses an &lt;em&gt;actual threat&lt;/em&gt; to his own son, right?  In other words, it's pretty unlikely the father would abuse, kidnap or otherwise &lt;em&gt;intentionally&lt;/em&gt; let his son come to harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I can totally see why you would not want your son to (say) spend the weekend with an alcoholic, because that could lead to disaster even if the father had the best of intentions on Friday night.  However, if he's in town, sober, and wants to take your son on a brief 'date' to a park or out for pizza or whatever, and you still refuse, then I suggest you think twice about whether you're &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; doing this to protect your son, or whether it's your personal antipathy and/or fear of your son actually getting to know (like? love?) his father that's stopping you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T11:35:42.403" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18691" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18692" CreationDate="2015-02-18T11:36:12.153" Score="1" ViewCount="9041" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents have raised some concerns about our 1 yo child going to sleep late in the evening (typically 10:30 pm, sometimes later if she struggles going to sleep).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A typical day : she doesn't go to day care, she stays at home with my wife.&#xA;She gets up at about 9 am, and has 4 meals during the day, one every 4 hours, the first one being at 9:30. She has 2 naps, sometimes 3, each lasting between 1 and 1.5 hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the evening, we bath her, we feed her and then we play a little with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that really bad for our child ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2018-04-21T01:46:58.593" Title="1 year old stays up late at night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18691" CreationDate="2015-02-18T12:12:29.153" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It looks like your daughter is getting a total of 12 hours sleep every 24 hour period, which is a good amount. The questions that arise for me are: does it work for you that she falls asleep so late i.e. are you ok as a parent not having alone time in the evening? Do you want to get her into a sleep schedule that may work better for her when she starts school, for example? I can't comment on whether she's entering the right sleep cycles and when, so it might be worth looking that up. If she seems full of energy during the day and not groggy, then it doesn't seem like a problem. To consolidate her sleeping hours, you might consider cutting out a daytime nap or two, this way she would probably fall asleep by 8pm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T12:12:29.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18602" CreationDate="2015-02-18T12:18:42.203" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations on your pregnancy. I had bad morning sickness with both my pregnancies, that became hyperemesis with the second. Here are some suggestions of what might help you deal with it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eating crackers as soon as you wake up&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;small meals regularly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lots of high quality protein (this one really worked for me)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;staying hydrated, sipping lemon water or 1Tbsp apple cider vinegar in water all day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;acupressure bands&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pregnancy of Nausea homeopathic remedy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stay connected with your midwife or doctor. If you feel terrible and can't keep water down, you'll know to need to seek medical help. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T12:18:42.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18694" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-18T14:34:23.580" Score="53" ViewCount="201898" Body="&lt;p&gt;So the other day I walked in on our teenager and caught his girlfriend with her pants down. It is quite clear what they were intending to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he claims he had no intention of having sex with her, he was just &quot;taking a look&quot;. However, we all know where such behaviour inevitably leads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am really not sure where how to proceed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 15, she is 13. It is against the law to have sex at that age. In 9 months time he will be 16 and she will still be 13. It will be even more against the law then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it is quite clear to me that this girl is quite vulnerable. She comes from a broken and quite possibly violent home. Our son is adamant he loves her and only wants the best for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything about the situation is just bad in my book. However, I don't really see that there is much I can do to prevent it. I can tell him he isn't allowed to see her anymore. But that will truly ruin the relationship I have with him and they will see each other at school. Right now he says he has gone over to a friends house, but I am sure he is probably with her. I can't stop this from happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I provide him with contraceptives? Thus sending him the message that it is ok to have sex. At least it avoids pregnancy, but it isn't going to prevent the possible emotional turmoil that can come with hugely underaged sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I let her come round to our house again? Do I let them up into his room with the door closed? Trying to prevent the inevitable would just mean they will find other places to do it. Is that any better? At least it would reduce the number of times they could have sex.. Is that preferable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do I need to explain to him / talk to him about to help him act as responsibly as possible in this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13663" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T13:27:06.327" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T16:26:26.990" Title="What should we do when our 15 year old wants sex with his 13 year old girlfriend?" Tags="|teen|relationships|sex|sexual-consent|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11683" CreationDate="2015-02-18T14:36:09.937" Score="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your kid doesn't understand the difference between this and any other toy because he's sane.  It is a toy and almost completely incapable of hurting anyone.  He probably has a dozen things in his backpack more dangerous than this toy.  It is the adults in the situation that are screwed up, not the kid. He's not supposed to bring toys to school, so his punishment should have been what it would have been for any other toy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, I would have explained that people lose their minds when talking about and dealing with anything related to guns and that the school having him talk to a psychologist was ignorant and there is nothing wrong with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T14:36:09.937" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T15:03:50.923" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to bring some other adults into the equation. The first people I'd talk to is her parents. Yes, part of the problem might be that she doesn't have great parents but that's why you need to talk them, even more than if her parents are good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second type of person to talk to is a trusted teacher, or maybe neighbor, who has dealt with both your son, and the girl. Having another adult &quot;counselling&quot; them, and looking over their shoulder won't hurt, and may help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the last case, you should talk to both the son and the girl, and explain to them how illegal the act is and how unprepared they are for the potential consequences. As a &quot;sugar coating,&quot; you could tell them that it will be ok when they are both over 16 (in two-plus years). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, I would not &quot;condone&quot; the act by giving them contraceptives. You can't follow your boy around, but to protect yourself legally, you ought to tell your son that if you catch him doing it again in your home, he will be severely punished. The last thing that you want is to be accused of &quot;harboring&quot; underaged activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13664" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T15:03:50.923" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12711" CreationDate="2015-02-18T15:07:35.680" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a six year old in the same situation. He's a control freak. He's oppositional defiant. He doesn't want to stop what he's doing to go poop in the potty and generally holds it. His overall goal is to prove me and the rest of the world wrong... he is convinced that he will do things his way and will be right about not having to poop on the potty. We have scheduled potty sit times in the morning and evening. All of the above advice has been tried for two solid years. NONE of it works. I repeat, none of it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't listen to anyone but a licensed behavioral specialist. A parent that hasn't dealt with this has no idea how determined your child is. It just might be the most frustrating situation that I have dealt with in my life, not just parenting. At three or four years old, some of those techniques can work, but at 5, 6, 7 and 8 years old, it is beyond normal toilet training tactics. Don't let a parent push their success with their two year old to make you feel like they have any idea about your 8 year old. This a an entirely different issue - it's not potty training anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once again, I implore you, seek out ONLY professional behavioral advice. Even if he has a medical issue at the root of this problem, it has conditioned his behavior for so long, that he needs behavioral modification. Good luck. I am up to my neck in this awful situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13665" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-04T14:01:36.417" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T14:01:36.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18677" CreationDate="2015-02-18T15:39:14.717" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am presuming that the kid loves his dad and wants to see him. is that the case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;with few details in your story, my answer to you would be that no, you should not purposely cut a father out of his son's life. it is cruel and they would both be very bitter about it. if it were me I'd want to see my dad. sure, having him around only intermittently is not ideal, but having no dad at all is worse. what would you even tell your kid then? maybe talk to the father and explain to him that you think he needs to be more reliable and consistent in his appearances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13666" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T15:39:14.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T15:47:38.457" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two textbook definitions of adulthood. One is legal adulthood, where we've set dates from birth at which point you're entitled to certain privileges, and there's physical adulthood which is, quite simply, sexual maturity. Your son is quickly approaching both of these milestones in his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is going to be engaging in adult behaviors, then he needs to be aware that there is no free lunch: he needs to accept the adult responsibilities too. Ultimately, this is entirely his decision (since he can, and probably will, go behind your back if you're not supportive anyway) although you can sway that decision with threats of punishment if that's what you believe is best for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is most important is how can you handle this that best prepares him for adulthood? He absolutely needs to be educated about both the risks and rewards of sexual activity. They need to know that not all sex is the same, and some sexual activities are safer than others. And, it may sound unimportant, but there's some sexual activities that are a lot less physically painful for his girlfriend. Just sayin'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to engage him in a way that you build trust and mutual respect. That means you being honest with him: you're scared for him, you're not 100% sure what you should do, and that you want to work it out with him together. And for you to do that, that he is honest with you: no sneaking out or lying, he trusts you enough to tell you what he really wants and how he really feels, and that he knows you'll support him as he makes his decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether or not you give him contraceptives or what action you take should be the result of an in depth conversation you have with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now all of this doesn't touch the legal system. Honestly, here the legal system throws a wrench in your ability to raise your son your own way. The only way to for this to be legal would be to have both you and her parents give consent, since she is legally unable to. Otherwise, once he turns 16, yes in the UK your son could go to prison for 2 years even if they don't touch each other. Of course, that's only if they find out and press charges, but still if you're teaching your son about how to weigh risks and benefits, going to prison and coming out a registered sex offender should be something that &lt;em&gt;heavily&lt;/em&gt; influences a decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T15:47:38.457" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2015-02-18T16:01:26.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just in case anyone reads this and goes with hold the baby in your arms route....there are ring slings made for wearing your baby on your front (against your chest that allows you to be hands free. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13667" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T16:01:26.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T16:05:19.803" Score="53" Body="&lt;h2&gt;You can no longer micromanage your son's activity&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have probably noticed that your can't control your son's actions by force or persuasion anymore, if you ever could. He's old enough now to be self directed, which is scary. The only thing you can do is to give him a moral framework in which to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Provide a credible moral framework&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you explain to yourself why you think this is wrong? Is it purely because he could get into trouble with the law? Is it because of your religious convictions? Is it because you're worried he or his girlfriend might get hurt? Teenagers typically have a fairly high tolerance for risk and warning him about heartache or legal consequences is unlikely to have an effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Give him the information he needs to make the right choice, then trust him&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to show him how to act, but more importantly explain why he should act in that way. You can't prevent him from acting by force or threats any more. He will make his own decisions now and there's little you can do to prevent that, so give him the information he needs to make the right choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that all you can do is trust him. That's a pretty scary thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-02-25T12:30:46.167" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T12:30:46.167" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T17:24:57.050" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is nearly sixteen, and that means he's clearly beyond the point where you can 'make' him do things - and it seems like you agree based on your question.  So what that means, to me, is the important thing is to help him understand the consequences of his actions.  Teenagers are of ten able to make good choices when they understand the full consequences of their actions, but they're unable to understand those consequences fully in many cases, or at least think about them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means that you should have an adult conversation with him, where you do two things: you make sure he knows the consequences of his actions, and you give him an opportunity to ask you questions about anything he is unsure about.  How you approach him is the real complication: depending on your relationship with him, it may be very difficult to establish the conversation as a real conversation and not a lecture.  Nonetheless it's very important to structure it that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wasn't a big fan of how my parents dealt with situations like this with me, though fortunately it wasn't all that important because I was a curious, research-oriented kid who learned a lot about this on my own, and I was also very consequence-averse.  But the one thing they did right, was when my father did have a conversation with me (at about 16, in fact), it was focused on the first part of the below.  He treated me like an adult, didn't try to tell me &quot;you can't have sex&quot; or even &quot;you shouldn't have sex&quot;, just focusing on discussing what I should think about before I choose to have sex, and what those possible consequences are.  While we had our differences particularly at that age, this conversation went miles better than I suspect many do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main consequences you want to discuss:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Physical consequences.  Is he aware that even at 13 she can get pregnant?  What does he know about birth control?  Two kinds of protection is best: is she protected as well as he - is she on the pill?  In this kind of relationship it's not unheard of for a girl to choose to try to get pregnant to hope to 'keep' the protector in her life; is he able to ensure that won't happen?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Financial consequences.  Given all sex involves some risk - and get the actual percentage of &quot;protected&quot; sexual encounters that still involve pregnancy, it's not that low; it's over 1% of people who regularly have sex with a single protection source per year, at least for condoms - what would you do if she did get pregnant?  How would he change his plans for the future- would he still go to university and expect her to work to support the child, would they live with one of the parent sets and expect them to help, etc; while he doesn't have to make firm plans now, he should be aware of the potential problems and at least consider the solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Legal consequences: is he aware of the legal consequences of his actions?  Are you sure you know the complexity of this sort of thing?  The combinations of exceptions can be difficult to navigate to laws in some places - I'm not in the UK so I don't know the law there.  But make sure you know exactly what the law is, and make sure he does as well.  I would start by asking him if he knows what the legal consequences are first, or if there are consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Relationship consequences.  If they begin a physical relationship, that will have consequences on their relationship with each other, and their relationships with others.  Talk through how the different relationships might change.  His parents (ie, you), her parents, their friends, siblings, etc. - all could be impacted.  Not a reason not to do it necessarily - but something to be aware of and to consider, particularly how they can ameliorate some of the downsides.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as his and her personal situation goes, there's another one - and this has some bearing in all cases, but in particular here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Psychological consequences: is he aware of the consequences of having a physical relationship with this girl, given the power relationship and her prior experiences?  It may not be a bad thing - it may be a good thing, even, depending on circumstances - but it will have consequences, and he'll need to be aware of them.  It also will have consequences on his psychology; he should be cognizant of those, and be aware of how to identify when something is going wrong.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure there's more, but that's what I can think of, largely based on what my parents talked about with me and what my wife said her parents and school did (My school wasn't so forward thinking, sadly).  That's a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; - and way too much for one conversation, and especially if it's brought forward with a lecturer approach.  Think about how to discuss this in parts, because it could take hours - and maybe some of it is simply seeding his mind with 'think about this side of things'.  He's an adult soon, and capable of thinking for himself; trust him to, while making sure he's aware of these concerns.  Discussion, not lecturing, is key.  And hopefully I remember all of this in ten or so years when I need to have this conversation with my children...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T17:24:57.050" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T17:52:39.207" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A quicker response in order to cover something I view as an important point: teens have a much higher tendency towards risk-taking behaviors. Thus, while the legal aspects may be the most concerning to you, to your son the legal ramifications only apply &quot;if we get caught.&quot; And of course, he'll NEVER get caught again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with the above posters that the key is making sure he's aware of all of the consequences and to engage with mutual respect, but keep in mind that he's going to do what he thinks is best for him and for her, not necessarily for you. If in his mind the only reason to use protection is to &quot;avoid worrying my parents,&quot; the message hasn't been properly internalized. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13671" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T17:52:39.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T18:44:07.627" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;English Law: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/contents&quot;&gt;http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/contents&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is 16 and thus would count as a child offender under the law. (Once he's 18 the law becomes much more serious, although it is serious for under 18s).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that he has &lt;em&gt;already&lt;/em&gt; broken the law.  He touched a child; the touching was sexual; he knew she was under 16.  This offence carries a six month prison sentence.  Because he is under 18 he is unlikely to get a prison sentence unless he's in a position of responsibility for her or she's a vulnerable person (diagnosed mental illness; learning disability; etc.) &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cps.gov.uk/news/fact_sheets/sexual_offences/&quot;&gt;http://www.cps.gov.uk/news/fact_sheets/sexual_offences/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/part/1/crossheading/child-sex-offences&quot;&gt;http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/part/1/crossheading/child-sex-offences&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;13 Child sex offences committed by children or young persons &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(1) A person under 18 commits an offence if he does anything which would be&#xA;  an offence under any of sections 9 to 12 if he were aged 18. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(2) A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable— &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(a)on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not &#xA;     exceeding 6 months or a fine not exceeding the statutory &#xA;     maximum or both; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(b)on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a &#xA;     term not exceeding 5 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should you do?  Sit them both down and explain the severe consequences of their actions.  These include STIs; pregnancy; criminal conviction and subsequent registration on sexual offenders register; impacts of a conviction upon employment; impacts of an arrest (even without conviction) on travel to some countries (eg: US).  Explain to them that they need to wait until she is 16 and can give consent.  You tell them that you cannot allow them to break the law in your home and that you have a duty to protect the girl from harm.  You ask them if you can contact her parents or her social worker if she has one to get their help.  The children may say no,   (What did child protection social services say when you reported your concerns about her violent homelife to them?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T18:44:07.627" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18677" CreationDate="2015-02-18T18:56:34.993" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is mostly a legal issue, perhaps quite unfortunately.  Because this man &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; your child's father, he likely has legal rights to see his child, and may push for those rights to be enforced if denied the chance to see his child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can challenge it in court, but I don't know how far you get - we are not legal council, and cannot offer you legal advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we can offer you is some ways to cope with this, whether or not there is legal action involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, you need to consider how much of a danger this man is to your child - and if he is a source of physical and voilent danger to him, then you should start seeking your own legal council for the safety of your own child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is not a physical threat to the child, but you worry about the influence he may have, the best way to counter that is to be a positive influence on the child yourself, and to surround him with other positive role models.  You, your friends, and your family can all have a great impact on the child, moreso than a single negative influence can overcome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about what he may do during his legal visitations of the child, and that you may not have the ability alone to prevent it, consider getting somebody to be there with you during those times - a friend or a family member who you can trust.  &lt;strong&gt;This is especially important if you feel that the man is a danger to your child, but cannot legally prevent him from having visitation rights&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, your primary focus should not be on whether or not to bar this man from seeing your child - that is a legal battle, and we cannot advise you on how that will turn out or what you should pursue legally in that regard.  What you should focus on is giving them a positive role model to follow, and in protecting your child in any situation that may arise.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T18:56:34.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18677" CreationDate="2015-02-18T18:59:27.317" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child has a human right to see both parents.  Withdrawing a human right is something you need to do as a measure of last resort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes parents are abusive and so the child needs to be protected from harm.  These protections range from simple setting of rules and &quot;contracts of acceptable behaviour&quot;, through contact in public places, to one-to-one supervised contact in a specialist child contact center with trained staff present at all times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That protection should be the minimum to ensure safety.  There are very few situations where a parent is so abusive that they should not be able to see the child at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is too young to give consent.  Your son is old enough to be asked his opinion about contact.  He should be encouraged to see his father unless he very clearly says he does not want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are things you can do to make the process easier for you.  In your contract of acceptable behaviour you specify who the father contacts and how he contacts them when things need to be arranged; you can specify hand-over of the child in a public place (somewhere with CCTV is sometimes re-assuring) or that other people do the handover.  You can write a sheet of things that are okay and are not okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T18:59:27.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T19:15:31.337" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're in an unenviable position with your 15-year old right now.  He's very close to the age where he's been told that he'll legally be allowed to participate in sex, but his girlfriend is still very far away from that age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may, however, be at an age that he will understand this somewhat complex situation - so you should definitely first consider just talking to him about it.  &lt;strong&gt;Not&lt;/strong&gt; just at him, but with him.  Help him understand the reason he has to wait - that he would go to jail.  And explain that he could go to juvinile hall (or the UK equivalent) even before he's 16.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But also talk to him about the other dangers involved.  That no contraceptive is 100% safe and there's a chance, always a chance, that he could get this girl pregnant.  Talk to him about maturity, and how though he may love this girl, that she is not in a position, at an age, or ready to commit to something this serious.  And explain why what he is doing is not just wrong, but dangerous to him and to his girlfriend.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You won't be able to prevent them from seeing each other - they probably go to the same school, and probably have already thought of several ways to see each other without your consent.  That is not a battle you can win, nor should you try to get on the adversarial side with them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably will not get the chance to talk to this girl about the situation in the same way, but since she is coming over to your house to see your boy, you can at least try.  She may not have parents who will have this talk with her, but as a guest in your house, you have every right to speak with her about this and explain this to her the same way you are explaining this to your son.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the subject of talking to her parents about this...it may not be a good idea to start with explaining the whole situation first.  Talk to them first about the fact that your children are 'together', and suggest to them that they may want to talk to their daughter about this topic - don't give a specific reason.  You do not want this to be accusatory or confrontational.  Not if you can help it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do make it clear to your son, however, that what he was doing is not acceptable - not that sex alone is unacceptable, but the level of things that he was doing when you caught him is not acceptable.  Make that clear - or he may assume that you're only talking about 'the whole thing'.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, make some ground rules to prevent this from happening again.  Insist that all doors to rooms remain open when she comes to visit, and that he inform you when he is going to visit this girl.  Make it clear you are interested in their well-being, not just in punishing them for bad behavior.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Utlimately, what you are trying to teach your son is that this is for his own good, and not just because you are morally objecting to it, but because it is &lt;em&gt;dangerous&lt;/em&gt; for him and his girlfriend to be doing this at their age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more suggestion I can make is to figure out &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he wants to do these sorts of things with her so badly.  You may find out he has some misconception about what it means to be boyfriend/girlfriend, or that he's being peer-pressured at school, or that he has some other reason for acting the way he does.  Knowing if there is some other problem that is leading him down this path will let you figure out how to properly handle it - and when you do, be sure to come back and ask what you might be able to do for such a situation, if it's not just him wanting to get closer to this girl.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T19:15:31.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T19:28:37.863" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with your concerns for the girl. There are some great suggestions in the other answers, so I'll limit myself mostly to consequences for the girl. Let's assume you can't stop them from having sex, which doesn't mean the discussion shouldn't take place; they can still be in a relationship with each other that doesn’t involve sex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discussions with your son should always be welcome, honest, patient, and respectful, so that they can come to you with any problem they might have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son states he is adamant that he loves her and only wants the best for her. At 15, and certainly at 13; &lt;em&gt;they probably doesn't know what's best for her&lt;/em&gt;. Discuss with him what “best for her” means. That does mean taking special care not to hurt her (she needs love and respect from people she cares about). In adolescents, early sexual experiences play a significant part in their future ability to form solid, trusting relationships. While such sexual experiences can be positive, they can also have a harmful effect on mental and physical health and development. It is important that young people are mature and ready before they engage in sexual activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young adolescents tend to be less deliberative and rational about sexual decisions than older persons. There is an ever-increasing sexualization of pre-adolescent girls in western societies. Is he aware of the damaging effects on decision-making that this has on girls? What is his definition of &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;respect&lt;/em&gt;? (For that matter, what is his definition of &quot;enthusiastic consent&quot; and &quot;mutually pleasurable&quot;?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sex at 13 is illegal. Even adults often feel like doing lots of things, but can’t because the law says they can’t. Discuss the ramifications of this with your son. But worse that merely illegal, the female usually bears the brunt of the consequences of sex at this age. Her parents have a right to know what's going on with her. Is your son ready for what might happen to him and her when her parents find out? Who will tell the parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What will happen to her reputation? Sexually active girls are often treated differently by other young people. Terms such as &quot;slut&quot; and &quot;slag&quot; are thrown around with alarming ease. If they break up, how will having had sex affect her future relationships? (She &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; more likely to be coerced/manipulated into having sex by future partners.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The younger adolescents are when they begin having sex, the greater their risks of negative consequences, and early sexual intercourse experiences often are psychologically coercive. For the girl, learning more about social pressures, negotiation, and refusal skills is important. Even the small difference in their ages for her may represent a power imbalance. If she is not enthusiastically consenting (she is only 13), they shouldn't be having sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contraception: if he's not using contraception &lt;em&gt;every time&lt;/em&gt;, then he's not doing what's best for her. Seven in ten pregnancies to adolescent teens occur to teens who were not using any method of contraception when they became pregnant. Adolescents engage in risky sexual behaviors because they believe that they have little to lose. Adolescents who value education and job success and who perceive their future opportunities optimistically should have stronger motivation for avoiding early pregnancy and parenthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Girls from abusive backgrounds and those with poor relationships with their parents tend to have sex earlier. They also tend to get pregnant more often and are more likely to keep the baby (this was taken from a UK website). What will your son do if she gets pregnant? (Currently, only about two percent of premarital births are relinquished for adoption.) Teenage fathers do not involve themselves very deeply in their new role. Furthermore, the young man often leaves the child’s mother during pregnancy or during the two years after birth. How will keeping the baby affect her future? His? Also, her future ability to educate herself and find a good job are affected by having a baby. Is this what is best for her? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she gets pregnant, who will pay for the abortion (if she chooses that route) or child care if she keeps it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they do have sex, because of her age, there should &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; be alcohol involved, or her parents might be able to sue regardless of what she says happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Should I let her come round to our house again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure. She's an important part of his life. That should make her an important part of yours. In fact, you might even look upon her as a daughter. Which means, if she were your 13 year old daughter, would you want her to be having sex?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would I let them close the door? No, I wouldn't. Would I supply condoms? No, but I'd make sure he bought them with his own money; if he can't afford condoms, he can't afford any of the responsibilities of sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.msss.gouv.qc.ca/en/sujets/prob_sociaux/teenage_pregnancy.php&quot;&gt;Teenage pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T19:28:37.863" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8608" CreationDate="2015-02-18T19:49:41.147" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;this does explain how she's been acting (and her mood) around the house lately&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, perhaps, her mood around the house lately explains why she's looking to drugs for happiness. Perhaps she's depressed and needs drugs for legitimate reasons? Without talking to her about what's going on in life and what/where the issues are, taking away the thing in life that gives her pleasure will not solve the problem. She needs to find a way to be involved in life again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OR, she's just experimenting with safe recreational drugs, and you're freaking out over nothing. Hard to tell without knowing the family, but the tone of the question implies that legitimate use of such drugs, for dissolving ego barriers and assisting with social anxiety issues and forming a social bond, etc., is not an attitude that is likely to be displayed toward her. Maybe she needs the freedom to experiment and show that she's trusted to handle serious situations in an appropriate manner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13672" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T19:49:41.147" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T21:07:42.050" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things you might want to say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That he will possibly ruining his life: not only by going to jail (and not finishing high school, and having problems with college), but also by getting a 'sex offender' label that will follow him through his life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That he will possibily ruin her life: with unwanted pregnancy, with a judicial procedure that inevitably breaks them up (yes, there are other reasons. But those are stronger/more imediattely comprehensible).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That &lt;a href=&quot;http://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Pregnant_13_Year_Olds&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;13 years old are not biologically ready for sex and a possible pregnancy&lt;/a&gt; (even if she was emotionally mature — we know she isn't but that point is harder to argue — it would still be biologically very dangerous)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the matter is a matter of lust/curiosity, there are ways that are far morally superior to deal with the issue: finding a girl his age is one, professional services another. This is not meant to be a serious suggestion to visit a prostitute, but more as a contrast: his idea is so bad that even a prostitute would be preferable! Also, just by saying that, you  might help him separate and understand better his emotions (considering that he is, in fact, very probably motivated by lust, but does not know it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13674" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-03T12:02:15.837" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T12:02:15.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-18T21:21:30.697" Score="11" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Contraception&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't want to make this situation worse, so make sure your son has access to condoms and knows how to use them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That includes showing him how to put one on (ususally done with a banana) and making him practise, making sure he understands that — contrary to the common misconception — a girl &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; get pregnant on her first time, that he needs to wear them from the get-go, that wearing two condoms is &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; safe instead of more since they can tear due to the friction, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he understands that this does not mean you condone them having sex, but that you want them to be safe above all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You shouldn't have to fear prosecution yourself for doing so. According to the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cps.gov.uk/news/fact_sheets/sexual_offences/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;fact sheet provided by the CPS&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A person does not commit an offence of aiding or abetting a child sex offence if they give advice to children in order to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;protect them from sexually transmitted infection,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;protect their physical safety,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;prevent them from becoming pregnant, or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;promote their emotional well-being.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means that parents, doctors, other health professionals, in fact anyone can provide sexual health advice to children as long as their only motivation in doing so is the protection of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, people who cause or encourage the child to engage in the activity, or 'advise' children for their own sexual gratification, will be liable to prosecution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Conversation&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, this can be the start of a conversation with him. Offer him condoms, but tell him you wish he wouldn't need them. Share your concerns that she may be in a position where she can't fully freely consent and that she is, or they both are, too young to be having sex yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't mention your concerns regarding the legality too much. According to the same fact sheet,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The age of consent is 16. Because children can and do abuse and exploit other children, the Act makes it an offence for children under 16 to engage in sexual activity, to protect children who are victims.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, children of the same or similar age are highly unlikely to be prosecuted for engaging in sexual activity, where the activity is mutually agreed and there is no abuse or exploitation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Crown Prosecution Service has issued guidance to prosecutors, which sets out the criteria they should consider when deciding whether or not it is in the public interest to bring a prosecution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their age difference is, if I understand your post correctly, 2 years and 3 months at the most. I am not a lawyer and certainly not an English one, but that does seem to fall under &amp;quot;same or similar age&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But more importantly, of all arguments possible, that one is least likely to convince them to not have sex (yet). Instead, try to gauge if they are both equally ready; if one party is more so than the other, try to dissuade them. You may try to outright forbid it, but I fear that that may not have the intended effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T19:37:31.750" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18712" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-18T22:40:45.480" Score="12" ViewCount="3748" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has a son from a previous relationship. He's lived with me since he was 1. His biological father has always lived about an hour from us. We have always split driving responsibilities for any time he spends with his son. We will either drop off or pickup depending on schedules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few months ago, he moved 6 hours away from us. He is demanding that we still drive 50% of the time. I do not think this should be our responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not know if this forum can accept legal questions or not, and I don't want to post something off topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if legal issues are allowed, then feel free to comment on this situation. If not, then my question is simply  to ask if others are in this situation, and what you have done to try and resolve it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13677" LastActivityDate="2022-07-18T13:50:53.980" Title="My sons biological dad moved 6 hours away and wants to split commute times" Tags="|step-parents|custody|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18563" CreationDate="2015-02-18T23:49:51.723" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't stop now. From what you've said, he's about &quot;90 percent&quot; there. Just be patient, keep at it, and the remaining 10 per cent will come.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13664" LastActivityDate="2015-02-18T23:49:51.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2015-02-19T00:03:24.717" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We made a list of all boy and girl names we liked individually and read them to each other, crossing off vetos. It really wasn't hard to land on names we liked together, and eventually we rationalized a few ways to select the top choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I made the argument to my wife that spelling a name strangely is not helping anything, at least not to me. So if she really wanted to name our daughter Jazmynne I reserved the right to give her a middle name like Bone Crusher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally don't like names with apostrophes or general weirdness. My brother has a very normal name but it is spelled strangely. Like if you spelled Mike as Mhyke. Nobody will ever get that right. You have to constantly correct people, and if they're reading your name off a list in public, you basically have to listen for everything cause they will find a way to pronounce that as backwards as you possibly can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just because it is not spelled strangely and has no apostrophes doesn't mean it's a boring name. There's nothing wrong with Jasmine. It doesn't have to confuse everyone, and doesn't have to be a source of mockery for your kid. But then again, you could give them a non-confusing middle name and let them choose what they want to go by when they're old enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my favorite Saturday Night Live skits is when Nicholas Cage is arguing with his wife about what to name their soon to be born boy:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hulu.com/watch/285711&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.hulu.com/watch/285711&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T00:03:24.717" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-02-19T00:03:24.717" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-19T00:06:47.013" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First let me say the following.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There is no moral law (religious laws) and no &quot;law of men&quot; that can do anything at all to prevent teenagers from attempting to have sex. There is only one law that controls teenage sexual behavior and that is biology (the law of the jungle).&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would bet a lot of money that, if you allow these two kids to be alone, they will attempt to have sex. Young boys and girls are far too irresponsible to properly use birth control. Hormonal birth control can also be physiologically dangerous for any woman. Embolisms occur far too often in women.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember when I was your son's age a long time ago. I was a sex-seeking machine. Were it not for my father understanding this reality and skillfully blocking my every attempt to be alone with any girl, I could very easily have gotten a girl pregnant. We are creatures that are specifically designed to reproduce. That natural force is unstoppable without extremely active parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, to prevent this impending disaster (pregnancy), it will take &lt;strong&gt;4 parents&lt;/strong&gt; to actively prevent it from happening. If her parents don't give a damn, you are in a hell of a pickle. Perhaps you need to consider tactfully approaching her parents about preventing this impending disaster. Perhaps you all need to consider tactfully alerting the teenagers' teachers to be on the lookout for attempts at &quot;reproducing&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as your son &quot;...only wanting what is best for her...&quot;, that's ridiculous. He is probably barely capable of understanding what is best for his own left, pinky fingernail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Preventing teenagers from behaving naturally requires an almost full-scale military operation of &lt;strong&gt;4 active parents&lt;/strong&gt;. Don't embarrass them. Don't hit them. Don't go overboard on punishment. Don't get hysterical. The kids are only behaving naturally. However, this behavior is like a hurricane in its intensity and needs an all-out prevention plan by all affected parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing how I was when I was 15 years old, I'd never let myself be alone with a girl I was attracted to. And I can guarantee you I wasn't the most determined boy out there. That's REALLY scary!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13680" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T00:06:47.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18712" CreationDate="2015-02-19T00:07:52.823" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;One parent shouldn't necessarily be &quot;punished&quot; for moving away. They have their own life, needs, job opportunities, love interests, etc. that impact their decision on where to live. It's unrealistic to expect the parent that doesn't have the child living with them to stay tied to one geographic area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making the parent that moved carry a bigger burden may seem fair, but it's actually as &lt;strong&gt;un&lt;/strong&gt;fair as telling the parent that &lt;em&gt;didn't&lt;/em&gt; move to also move. (Which also happens, when the primary custody parent moves hours away. The secondary custody parent often has to &quot;deal&quot; with it by putting up with increased driving, or moving themselves.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be an unfortunate situation for you, because of increased driving time and expenses, but that's not how it should be looked at. This is really about the child and his ability to visit his father. If you have the financial and physical means to drive to the father's, then you should be willing to do that. You've been very fortunate thus far that the father has been closer, and you've been able to split the costs. That definitely makes it easier on your son. But that luck does not confer a &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's also important to keep in mind that the father's decision to move wasn't because he isn't dedicated to his son. These days, a 6 hour drive isn't really that far. His attitude of &quot;demanding&quot; is definitely poor, but you'll need to try to be objective about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You should be willing to split the drive, or even do most of the driving, &lt;strong&gt;if that's what's necessary for your son to maintain a healthy relationship with his biological father&lt;/strong&gt;. Any set up that requires you to do less than 100% of the work should be considered a perk, not a right. Ideally, the father should also have this same mindset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T00:07:52.823" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-02-19T00:43:58.527" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps your son would be impacted by the true story of my 13-year-old cousin who experienced a 15-year-old boy who &quot;loved&quot; her in the same way. She had a baby when she was 14. Then she had an abortion as a result of someone else when she was 15. She became drug addicted, then a prostitute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please tell your boy that if he does this to her, even if no child is conceived as a result, he is showing only hate for her, not his love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a reason why having sex with 13-year-old girls is illegal, and the same reason applies to 15-year-old boys as it does to fully grown men.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13681" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T00:43:58.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18718" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="35392" CreationDate="2015-02-19T00:50:31.950" Score="20" ViewCount="46539" Body="&lt;p&gt;The girl is 20 months old, and it is not her fault that she loves her game of picking things from the room and throwing them out of balcony and watching them fall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has been told in plain English not to do this, and she does understand that perfectly.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;But, she still does this on purpose - I know this because she looks at me before the act, smiles, and continues her deed. Then she comes over to me and points out to the thing fallen on the ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I talk to her loudly and tell her to say sorry. She complies, and then repeats the deed again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timeouts don't work - I have tried to make her sit and hold her and count till 150. It doesn't seem to bother her much as she sits calmly. Definitely it will bother her if I count till 250 but that requires too much effort on my part. It is tiring for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last time I grabbed her and put in another room, alone, and closed the door for some time.&#xA;She wailed for some time, and I didn't know if that was the correct move from my side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways, she repeated the deed again sometime later in the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is tiresome for me to keep on going down to the ground floor to pick up things repeatedly. The door of balcony cannot be closed since the child stares down on the street from there and self soothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to punish the toddler for &quot;deliberately&quot; throwing things out of balcony?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T07:06:52.487" LastActivityDate="2018-11-28T10:50:30.983" Title="How to stop the toddler from *deliberately* throwing things out of the balcony?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18718" CreationDate="2015-02-19T01:16:50.860" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;An alternative to the right/wrong paradigm which requires blame and punishment is to consider that she is meeting needs by acting in the way she does. The most obvious need that comes to mind, that I have seen in my children, is the need for exploration and curiosity. Children are exploring gravity when they throw things, and they demand that the items be picked up so they can carry on exploring. They are experimenting with their bodies, amount of force etc. Of course there may be other things going on. Sounds like her need for fun is being met by getting you to go retrieve items for her, as well as autonomy in that she is realizing her independence. This does not mean it is fun for you, as it sounds. So I am guessing you have a need for ease and co-operation. If you can focus on the needs rather than the strategy to get those needs met, then you will probably think of other ways to meet everyone's needs. Can you devise a game inside that involves lots of throwing? Can you find other ways to connect with her, and give her choice and autonomy, that are fun for both of you? Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T01:16:50.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18718" CreationDate="2015-02-19T03:51:57.207" Score="44" Body="&lt;p&gt;Between 1.5-3 years of age, kids learn to (and really enjoy) testing gravity and throwing things. It involves fine-motor skills and hand-eye coordination. It's actually pretty fascinating for them; they learn what bounces and what splats, what rolls and what doesn't. They also &lt;em&gt;get your attention&lt;/em&gt; and illicit &lt;em&gt;a reaction&lt;/em&gt; out of you by seeing you pick it up. Doing these things gives a toddler a sense of control and autonomy at a time when they really have very little. This is all quite natural. She's not being bad. She's being normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, for you it's annoying to constantly pick things up. But is she really doing something so wrong that she deserves punishment? Roni Leiderman, a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology, believes it's futile to try to stop a toddler from doing this and that you shouldn't discipline a child for it. Instead, limit what she throws and where she throws it. (If you dislike her throwing things off the balcony, why does she have access to it? Maybe she should only have toys she can't throw when you're all on the balcony.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give her plenty of things that she is allowed to throw, and time to do it. Foam balls are safe; small stuffed toys and other things - rolled up socks, things that make noise when they hit, etc. Throwing games are even more fun if you play with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're tired of the game, redirect her attention to something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The message you want to convey is that throwing things is fine as long as she throws the right things in the right place at the right time. &amp;quot;When she throws something inappropriate, like a shoe, calmly take it away from her and say, 'Shoes aren't for throwing, but balls are.' Then give her a ball to play with,&amp;quot; says Leiderman.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clean up together. Don't ask your toddler to pick up everything she throws. &amp;quot;That's an overwhelming task for a child this age,&amp;quot; says Leiderman. Instead, try getting down on your hands and knees together and enlisting her help by saying, &amp;quot;Let's see how fast we can pick up the blocks together,&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Can you help me find all the yellow pieces?&amp;quot; ...[T]ake a tour of your house together and toss socks in the hamper, tissues in the wastebasket, and toys in the toy chest...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will get over this phase soon enough (as she learns that a lot of things are more fun than dropping toys).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T03:51:57.207" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18718" CreationDate="2015-02-19T08:03:48.660" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that she is learning and that her actions are a result of curiosity - but throwing things off the balcony needs to stop. Besides being unkind to you, she will also eventually throw something valuable down or something dangerous. If she throws a glass down and it breaks, people could cut themselves. She may even accidentally hit someone on the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She needs to learn that there are consequences to what she is doing. Have you tried making her walk with you and then making her carry the item back up? It will probably be fun the first few times but she will eventually get as tired as you from walking up and down, up and down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember also that if she is apologising and then repeating the behaviour she is learning to be insincere. I don't think that you did the wrong thing by closing her in the room - she does need to be punished if you have made a rule and she breaks it. If you don't enforce the rules you make while she is young she will become unpleasant to be around and will have a problem following rules when she is older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13690" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T08:03:48.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18718" CreationDate="2015-02-19T09:20:42.687" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter was throwing things out of her stroller on purpose while out on walks, which is a similar problem since it can be quite dangerous if it means turning back in a crosswalk etc., although less dangerous than throwing them over a balcony (assuming your balcony is high up, and that there are people walking below).  I agree with the other posted responses that from our experience there is little that punishment can accomplish since part of the fun for her is getting a reaction out of you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solution: tie the toy on a shoelace, tie the other end of the shoelace to the edge of the precipice (balcony railing, stroller, other locations you don't want to see things falling) and don't give her toys in that specific location unless they are attached this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, let her experiment with gravity at other times/locations where it's less of an annoyance to pick them up for her...from her high chair, changing table, etc, she can hurl things to the ground to her heart's content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T09:20:42.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18691" CreationDate="2015-02-19T09:43:53.387" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she's getting enough sleep that's fine, as Lizbeth says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you're her parents. You know her and if she's not getting enough sleep you'll be the ones who bear that cost, so if you're happy with the way things are, don't change it on your parents' account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do if you want to change the way things work, is get her up early and cut out the second nap for a few days so you the put her to bed at, for example, 7. Then after a few days (it may be tough) her body clock will be shifted round so she sleeps more sociable hours. It is up to you, but if her going to bed at 10:30 works for you then that may be ok for a bit. The only thing I'd consider is the effect of school and nursery scheduling. You may want to get your daughter into a sleep pattern that's more amenable to that schedule earlier rather than later, and that will make it easier for her. Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T09:43:53.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10841" CreationDate="2015-02-19T13:18:08.390" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question is still receiving attention, so I thought I would post a follow up answer with the benefit of hindsight.  It turns out there was no cause for worry.  We continued to insist that most of the books he checked out were just outside his comfort zone.  We continued to insist that he &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; to read more advanced books he chose for himself.  We continued to read with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a few months it was a moot point.  Out of the blue he started passing our &quot;can you read it&quot; test at the library on the books he wanted.  According to online &lt;a href=&quot;http://a2zhomeschooling.com/all_time_favorites/reading_level_assessment/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;reading assessments&lt;/a&gt;, he is now reading approximately two grade levels ahead.  I believe the advanced books he wanted to be able to read are a big part of that.  I also subsequently learned of research which says most kids aren't really developmentally fully ready for academics until age seven, and I think he really blossomed once he hit that milestone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To other parents with the same concern, I would say to hang in there and continue to give your children access to books they are interested in, even if they're not quite ready to read them yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T13:18:08.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4162" CreationDate="2015-02-19T13:23:07.647" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had to make an account just to answer this question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in an European country and we start school at &lt;strong&gt;age 7&lt;/strong&gt;. I grew up in a small town close to my school and it was overall a &lt;strong&gt;very safe place&lt;/strong&gt;. Both my parents worked and I had no siblings. During my first two weeks of school my mom stayed at home to make sure I got up and made myself ready for school. After these two weeks I was on my own. I got up about 1 hour after my parents had left for work, got dressed, ate something and went to school (walked or on bicycle). I was in school for about 4 hours, went home and was &lt;strong&gt;alone for 3 hours&lt;/strong&gt; before anyone got home. I knew the emergency call number and my grandmother lived nearby (I could go to her for help if something happened, but generally she was too old to take care of me). My mom called me every morning to make sure that I had woken up and every afternoon to make sure everything was fine. When I hit my teenage years she stopped doing this by my request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conclusion: &lt;strong&gt;I was fine on my own at age 7&lt;/strong&gt;, I never hurt myself more than maybe a scraped knee. I didn't burn down the house. I didn't really feel alone either, although I had friends over a lot (with the permission of both's parents of course.) After school activities was available maybe once a week. Being home alone at this age was a reality for maybe half my class, the rest was at a grandparent's house or had a parent at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on my own experience: &lt;strong&gt;It's very possible to leave your 7-year old kid alone for a few hours if you live in a safe neighborhood.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13697" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T13:23:07.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18729" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18730" CreationDate="2015-02-19T15:07:20.210" Score="3" ViewCount="403" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our girl is 1 yo, and used to go to sleep without much problem at night.&#xA;However, for the last week, it's become quite difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is how it goes :&#xA;when bedtime comes, we put her as usual in her crib, where she starts to act as if she was tired and ready to go to sleep (lying on the mattress, and holding her favorite stuffed toys).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We leave the room, door usually still open. We also use a night light.&#xA;A few minutes later, she gets up, and starts to cry, and only stops when my wife picks her up (it doesn't work if I pick her up). &#xA;Just being close to her and reassuring her doesn't work either.&#xA;Then, as she calms down, if we try to leave the room again, the crying resumes.&#xA;So we stay to calm her, and she begins to play with her toys and with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, she really goes to sleep when she is really tired, far behind schedule (usually well past midnight).&#xA;It only occurs at night, she has no problem for naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we change this behaviour, preferably without letting her cry (we have neighbours, and the walls aren't that thick) ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt; : &#xA;The problem was that she was sleeping too much during the day, and wasn't sleepy enough at night. We shortened the 2 daytime naps to one hour each, which worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastEditorUserId="7280" LastEditDate="2015-03-06T10:49:33.330" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T10:49:33.330" Title="Toddler cries when bedtime comes" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18729" CreationDate="2015-02-19T15:17:55.280" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I sympathize. It sounds like a hard situation and one with which I am familiar with both my children. First of all, know that it will end eventually. It might seem like it's going to go on forever, but some day (hopefully soon), this will be a distant memory. Try eliminating the daytime nap so she is really sleepy in the evening. And for a few nights at least, once she's back in bed and calm, try sitting with her in the same room till she's fallen asleep or nearly there. Over time, get seated closer and closer to the door while you wait for her to fall asleep. Sounds like she is longing for comfort and security. Once you assure her that you are there for her during the transition of falling asleep, hopefully she will let you go. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T15:17:55.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18718" CreationDate="2015-02-19T16:11:27.580" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two possibilities here:  One as suggested by user anongoodnurse is that she is learning about gravity and how things fall, and her fascination with this greatly outweighs your ability to express your frustration to her - this is becuase she is 20 months old, and doesn't grasp the concept that these are things that are important to you, and the difficult situation she's throwing you into. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other possibility, and this is a very strong possiblity, is that she has learned that throwing things out the balcony gets you to pay attention to her, and so she keeps doing it because you keep giving her the attention she craves.  Children crave attention, even negative attention, especially at a very young age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your solution to this problem is the same for either case though.  First - prevent the child from throwing things out the window.  Put up a barrier (a playpen wall if you have one, or cardboard if you don't) and keep the balcony door closed (and locked if you can) so that they cannot do this.   Second - give them a better way of getting attention.  Ignoring this problem won't make it go away; she needs to understand that what she's doing is wrong after all.  But giving her a better outlet to find attention from you is a good way of keeping her distracted from trying to do this again.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she truly is curious about gravity as has been suggested, try making a safe game out of it indoors, of tossing things over a barrier (over a couch arm for example) with soft objects that wont' cause damage if thrown too hard, in an area where you won't knock things over.  She will eventually grow out of this phase, and by showing her there are better ways to express her desire to test new things, you'll teach her that there are better ways to get attention than the problematic ways she's currently doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T16:11:27.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18732" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-19T16:56:55.240" Score="10" ViewCount="1204" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a mother of 2, ages 3 and 10.&#xA;I am worried that my youngest child is spending as much time, sometimes more time, on the iPad than my eldest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The iPad seems ideal when I am busy and the kids are content when using it, however I don't want to over do their computer time especially for my youngest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I right to be concerned? I'm wondering what time periods parents are seeing their kids using iPads for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13703" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2018-10-21T15:45:15.743" LastActivityDate="2018-10-21T15:45:15.743" Title="How much ipad time do most kids get?" Tags="|toddler|development|siblings|tablet-computer|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-02-20T12:22:48.333" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2015-02-19T17:11:59.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know technology is a great way to get some space from the children to get on with things, however we have a strict rule about no-(screen)-technology with our children (6 and 3). It's labor-intensive parenting, that's for sure, no computers, TV etc. I believe that use of media does not impact their developing brains in the way that personal connection, nature, art etc. does. If you try to lessen the time your younger child spends on the i-pad, you will have to be creative to make sure s/he doesn't feel deprived (seeing no limits for the older child), and think of fun alternatives. Try puzzles, musical instruments, audio books on CDs, painting etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13635" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T17:11:59.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18734" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-02-19T17:25:24.450" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-19T17:25:24.450" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T17:25:24.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18735" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-02-19T17:25:24.450" Score="0" Body="The ability of a child to direct effort or attention at something specific." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-19T17:25:24.450" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T17:25:24.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2015-02-19T17:57:35.883" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Am I right to be concerned? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say yes, most definitely. Kids can easily become lost in games for hours on end (I should know, I was one of them). I think my parents were thankful they had something to keep me occupied while they did.. whatever it was that they did while I was in my room. It was also something they could take away from me when I was in trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm wondering what time periods parents are seeing their kids using ipads for?? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter (almost 6 years old) gets about an hour block of screen time. With your youngest, I'd say that should be supervised time. This gives you the chance to interact and ask/answer questions. If you're looking for unsupervised time, I would recommend no more than 30 minutes. That's a decent enough time frame for you to accomplish whatever task (hopefully :) ) that you need to get done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Establish the rules up front! Kiddos love structure (mine almost to a fault!) and will abide by the rules if you are consistent following through. We will say &quot;You have 30 minutes until dinner is ready.&quot; On the weekends when outside play is out of the question, we'll ask her &quot;Can you play on the computer while we clean the house? Then we can play something with you.&quot; This gives her something else to look forward to while not getting too hooked on the computer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T17:57:35.883" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2015-02-19T18:07:53.527" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Screen time is something that should be limited for all children; at 0-2, it should be minimal or zero, as it does not support brain development in the same way that other kinds of (active) play do.  It's similar to how you might learn a school subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Method 1: Listen to a lecture, with an overhead/projector showing some&#xA;  slides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Method 2: Listen to a shorter lecture, then answer questions about the subject&#xA;  afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Method 3: Listen to a still shorter lecture, answer a few questions, and then&#xA;  practice the activity for the same amount of time or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it would be easy to agree that method 3 is the best way to learn a new concept (listen, repeat, do).  That's because just listening (and watching - anything passive) doesn't engage the brain in the same way that actively participating does.  Completely cooperative learning is even better: you retain the memory of how to do things better.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same applies to your child.  They're learning how to do things (physical, mental, speech, etc.), and they learn best by &lt;em&gt;doing&lt;/em&gt;.  Passive content (like TV or videos on an iPad) are the worst way to do that; active content on an iPad is better, but it only can teach a limited set of skills, and unless your child is old enough to type isn't engaging them in conversation certainly.  They need to be learning multiple things at once as much as possible - speech, vocabulary/grammar, emotional/social skills, motor skills.  It's hard to get that from a screen; and this doesn't change as they get older (at least until a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; older).  I would suggest that 2,3,6 year olds should all have the same amount of screen time per day, and so does the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/Media-and-Children.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AAP&lt;/a&gt;: 1 to 2 hours per day (or less).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have two children - almost 2 and 3.5 - and while we can't completely eliminate the almost-2 year old's screen time, we limit it to very little, probably an hour or two per week, and typically only when the older one is having screen time on the television.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the older one, we allow no more than an hour a day, and do this largely on the iPad (which is his preference).  He has 20 to 30 minutes up to twice a day (Before school and after dinner).  We encourage him to use it on the toilet for one of those periods, initially as an incentive to try to poop when he was having trouble, but now as a way to allow him to be alone without his younger brother bothering him (they share a room, so it's very hard to get this alone time otherwise).  He's responsible for setting a timer (we showed him how to use the iPad timer) and stopping when the timer goes off.  He's not all that well behaved about stopping, but that's always difficult for children that age, and a good opportunity to work on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T18:07:53.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2015-02-19T18:13:39.067" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The Mayo Clinic says &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/childrens-health/in-depth/children-and-tv/art-20047952&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;too much screen time is too much screen time&lt;/a&gt;, regardless of the device, the content, or the level of interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our household has a &quot;scale&quot; of electronics time, depending on age. As the kid gets older, their time limits are tied somewhat to responsibilities -- they do their chores to earn additional time (privilege). There is also usage associated with homework (our elementary and middle schools have Chromebooks for each students, and often assignments must be done online), which we treat separately from their free time (which is always, so far, spent on games with little or no educational value, by their own choice).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every single one of them thinks that my restrictions are terribly unfair and prevent them from ANY FUN AT ALL. They talk about their friends who have Kindle Fires and laptops in their room and can play as much as they want (which, since I know many of their parents, I highly doubt). They sneak the tablet or laptop into their own room to play. They throw tantrums, they whine, they beg, they attempt bribery. My daughter recently cited insufficient technology time as the primary cause of her moodiness (&quot;it's not because I'm a tween, it's because I don't get to play computer games for hours&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BUT, &lt;strong&gt;if I &lt;em&gt;let them&lt;/em&gt;, my kids play on the tablet for hours at a stretch&lt;/strong&gt; and only stop once they get very hungry and/or tired. They even take it into the bathroom. They watch over a sibling's shoulder while another child plays. Once the tablet runs out of power (or it's bedtime, or something other obligation interrupts) -- they are &lt;em&gt;incredibly&lt;/em&gt; cranky and irritable. They're obviously not able to self-regulate (even the older ones), and so I'm completely satisfied with the rules we've established.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-20T15:58:31.893" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T15:58:31.893" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18718" CreationDate="2015-02-19T21:16:41.517" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in my 30's and if it weren't for not having a balcony, cleanup time, a limited supply of things to drop, other things I enjoy doing more, responsibilities, and potential hazards I would probably go drop something off a balcony just to watch it fall right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A toddler doesn't have any of those reasons.  It's fun.  It's the same reason I bought my toddler some kitchen funnels for the tub, it's fun to watch the water fall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That smile you see is the &quot;watch this, you're going to &lt;strong&gt;pay attention to me&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; smile.  It's not a bad thing, it just means the both of you should go do something else &lt;strong&gt;together&lt;/strong&gt;.  The more powerful the emotional response you have to it positive or negative, the more the toddler is interested in repeating the behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Redirect and join the fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That can be hard to do, sometimes kids don't want to stop whatever they are doing.  Fortunately when my 18mo gets into something he shouldn't have I ask him to help me put it away and most of the time that works great.  I find asking him if he wants to do a few different things helps me find something he wants to do.  I did this at first so I could have a moment to think of things to do.  He's caught on to this and while he is preverbal he will say K over and over when I get to whatever thing he wants to do.  I usually give him three choices and if none of them are interesting I either pick or I ask if he wants to eat or drink.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11699" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T21:16:41.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18683" CreationDate="2015-02-19T21:59:04.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds very familiar.  Our 8 year old always had a very hard time dealing with particular kinds of situations - territoriality, sharing, letting go of things (but I may use it for arts and crafts!), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach revolves around several principles:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Acknowledge and validate her feelings: yes it can be upsetting when siblings touch your stuff, yes it can feel great to get gifts, yes it can feel wonderful to have all of your stuffed animals in bed with you.  This lets her know that she is accepted, that she has a partner, that she does not need to fight for her feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When appropriate, get her to compromise in any way, some way, however small, e.g. stuffed animals are okay but no poky dolls in bed, maximum of 10 soft animals in bed, etc.  Some compromises can seem ridiculous...  10 animals in bed, huh???  Just remember the goal is to slowly and positively teach her how to work through these feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be firm when needed, but in a positive, cooperative, understanding way - yes you told your brother not to touch your stuff, and yes it feels very bad when he touches it without asking - but we just cannot have people hitting other people, okay?  I understand that this is your favorite doll and you really want to sleep with it.  I really want you to spend as much time with it as you can... I am really sorry but I just cannot let you have any poky toys in bed because it is dangerous... etc.  Work with her.  Stay calm, speak in a positive, respectful tone regardless of how strange and maladaptive her behavior may seem.  Give hugs.  Remember that she is experiencing genuinely strong feelings.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to secure cooperation of the siblings.  Ask them to work with you to help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use humor whenever possible, e.g. make things absurd - offer to bring all the toys into the bed, do it, laugh together, then work towards a more reasonable situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for creative solutions to replace conflicts.  For example, our morning clothes selection got easier when we pre-packaged clothes in gallon ziploc bags the night before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use music/songs to diffuse situations, use distractions.  Kids may place extreme value on the object of their attention.  Adults may try to reduce that extreme value.  Instead, try to shift the kids' attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aim for small victories, and savor them when you get them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember - this is not a &quot;personality flaw&quot;... The crocodile part of the brain is stronger in some kids than others...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13707" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T21:59:04.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7235" CreationDate="2015-02-19T22:17:56.110" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Eat the stuff yourself, look like you love it, make sure your child sees you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not offer it unless they ask for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13709" LastActivityDate="2015-02-19T22:17:56.110" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12224" CreationDate="2015-02-20T00:29:19.677" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, firstly it's your kid and you should raise her/him however you want to, but do keep in mind that your kid can have a negative effect on other peoples kids depending on how you raise her. And, how you raise her can have a negative effect on her when she grows up as well...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a parent isn't all about spoiling your kid and giving her &quot;love&quot; 24/7, it's about teaching her things and discipline is one of those things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The moment she disobeys you should make it clear that you aren't playing a game and right there and then take a toy from her and show her you mean business, you could even hold back on the sweets, anything that would &quot;sting&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is you do what you need to do to raise a good kid which would listen to you if you told her to do something and to raise her to not become a bully and make her strong enough to stand up to bullies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13712" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T00:29:19.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18743" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-20T00:29:42.157" Score="6" ViewCount="290" Body="&lt;p&gt;Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn into a profession). Obviously, there is a risk of distraction and a minimum level of maturity needed to successfully use a computer or the internet as a tool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For every child there are different benefits and challenges that must be addressed when using a computer. What attitude should I have toward &quot;screen time&quot; and what can I do to make sure a child is utilizing computers correctly? What role do limits and restrictions have with regards to computer use? Can communication with the child help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9608" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-07T16:08:20.527" LastActivityDate="2020-08-07T16:08:20.527" Title="How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?" Tags="|education|middle-childhood|pre-teen|computer|screen-time|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4818" CreationDate="2015-02-20T00:38:34.620" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Back in my times I was out 24/7 and when I got back home I was too tired and went to bed... I don't even remember eating food, hell all I remember is hide and seek, tag and all other fun stuff we did back in my time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ipad? Kids? That is a bad combination, have them go out more often. It's more healthy for them to be fighting each other than to play on their IPads.&#xA;The more time they spend on their Ipads and computers the more attached they become and the more physical activity they will miss out on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line, it's a health issue and honestly, I grew up without a computer, didn't get into computers until I was 14ish. Played games 24/7 and I regret it, if you want your kids to thank you when they grow up and wisen up, you will make them go out more often. Not having an Ipad doesn't kill anybody, having one on the other hand is a risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13712" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T00:38:34.620" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18718" CreationDate="2015-02-20T01:53:02.883" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your reasoning for not closing the door seems a little strange. Is there no other way the child can self-sooth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think a child that young should have unrestricted access to a balcony. Primarily because it's very dangerous. Even if the child cannot squeeze through any gaps, she could potentially drag a chair to the edge and climb over. Don't ever assume a toddler would know this is a bad idea, because they don't. At that age the child has very minimal understanding about her physical capabilities, and may not perceive the action of stepping off a balcony as being any different to stepping off a step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back to the topic though. What the child is doing is perfectly normal behavior, and she shouldn't be punished for it. What you could try though, is to simply turn her around every time she approaches the edge and say &quot;no&quot; in a stern (not loud) voice. If you keep doing this over and over (it can take a long time) the child may get bored with the game and move on to something else. The key is to not change your tone or behavior at all each time. Toddlers to this kind of thing in order to observe your reaction. The more angrily you respond, the more stimulation the child is receiving from her behavior. If you respond in a boring, monotonous way, the child will hopefully lose interest. We did this with our child to keep him away from power sockets and it worked reasonably well. After a while we didn't have to physically block access to the sockets because he simply decided they were uninteresting and didn't bother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11289" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T01:53:02.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18748" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-20T08:32:31.540" Score="15" ViewCount="5489" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a woman, about 25 years old. People (especially my mother) tell me that my biological clock should start ticking any day now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest I can't see myself as a parent. I am disgusted by infants and newborns; their crying is annoying, they feel too fragile to hold and to be honest most of them are quite ugly. (Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm sure your baby is the most beautiful thing on earth, but I just can't see it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do spend time with children. My boyfriend and I are godparents to a 16 month old girl. (Luckily) we lived quite far away from the girl and her family for the first 6 months of her life, so I didn't have to hold her that often. Now we live very close to her, but it's not a problem anymore. She walks and even say some words. I have no problem with holding her, spending time with her or (what I actually like about children) teaching her stuff. She has an older brother and an older sister and I get along with them as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I simply can't deal with the infants and especially not the newborns. Honestly, I find them overall scary. It seems to be accepted for men to feel this way, but a woman should biologically feel some form of affection towards these small humans and I don't. Is there something wrong with me or do other women feel this way too? I simply can't imagine myself with a newborn and that is one of the reasons I can't see myself having children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I guess I am looking for a reason to why I feel this way, if it's common among women and maybe even how to &quot;fix&quot; it (or at least make it better).&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does feel strange when someone with a baby asks if I want to hold it and the response in my head is immediately 'NO! Don't let me touch it, I will break it.' followed by minor panic and a feeling I want to get out of that situation as soon as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; THANK YOU for all your words, I feel so much better now! I must admit I was hesitant about asking this here, but I thought I would get the most honest answers here and I was right. I now feel okay with never having children, but also (if I ever get to a place when I feel I want it) okay with someday having children despite my dislike of infants. It's difficult to choose a right answer since they all helped me in a way or another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13697" LastEditorUserId="13697" LastEditDate="2015-02-23T07:34:45.687" LastActivityDate="2018-04-01T00:41:01.680" Title="Woman: Afraid of infants/newborns" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18748" CreationDate="2015-02-20T10:12:37.527" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess it's not uncommon at all, it's just social pressure that tells women that they &quot;should&quot; want babies. Even for men, there is incredible social pressure to make a family and have infants. From what I've heard, people (and especially couples) that make the choice of not having babies and keep to it do feel that pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure how you feel, if you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Want infants &quot;some day&quot; but are afraid of breaking the frail newborn. I think that is sane—you do want to protect children. I would be afraid of someone that takes a newborn in his hands and not be afraid of how frail he is.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not want infants, ever. In which case, I think it is a perfectly valid choice to do so, but it is a difficult path. But I do not think it is fair to have a child just because of social pressure if you do not really want to have infants and family.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-02-21T02:06:49.073" LastActivityDate="2015-02-21T02:06:49.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18748" CreationDate="2015-02-20T14:32:29.167" Score="19" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;a woman should biologically feel some form of affection towards these&#xA;  small humans&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No. That's a social rule, not a biological one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some women adore all babies and children. My kid's teacher wholeheartedly enjoys spending her days surrounded by dozens of young children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some women are pretty into their own kids, but find other (or too many) children annoying. I can't imagine being a kindergarten teacher, I wouldn't be able to stand it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some women like other people's kids, but don't want to have their own. (They're fun in small amounts, until they start getting cranky...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some like kids, but not babies. My grandmother had nine children, and (in her words) &quot;rather disliked them until they could carry on a conversation.&quot; Queen Victoria famously disliked pregnancy, and didn't think babies were cute.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some women don't like kids, at all, in any form.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; kids and I've been told I'm not a good enough woman because I don't adore &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; babies &lt;em&gt;unconditionally&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't necessarily related to whether you have (or can have) biological children or not. Adoptive mothers form deep and loving bonds with their children, even though the child didn't physically grow in their body. I would never argue that a father is biologically incapable of loving his baby just as much as the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you &lt;em&gt;really want&lt;/em&gt; to like infants more, the only solution I can imagine is to spend more time with them. Hang out with family members or friends who have very young kids. Take it slowly: you don't have to hold, hug, feed, or change the baby right away, just sit there and watch for something adorable and convince yourself it's not going to explode. Don't take it personally when a baby cries when you eventually hold her -- it's not you, it's her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you're doing this because you think there's something &quot;wrong&quot; and you need to be fixed, I don't think you're doing it for the right reasons. Some people don't want to be parents, some people don't want to be around babies, and that's just how it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-02-20T15:14:47.340" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T15:14:47.340" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18743" CreationDate="2015-02-20T19:42:11.637" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I am lumping computer, tablet, and smartphone usage roughly together in this answer, both because it's rare for a child to be using only one of these devices, and because their applications (internet, gaming, social media) significantly overlap.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My general goal is to teach ways to responsibly and productively use technology, enforce limits when they aren't yet self-regulating their activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Except for &lt;em&gt;discussion&lt;/em&gt;, the categories below may shift over time and depending on the interests and activities of any given child. Hopefully I can establish enough common sense and well-reasoned arguments during middle school years that &lt;em&gt;supervision&lt;/em&gt; and enforcing &lt;em&gt;balance&lt;/em&gt; are things that they can start doing for themselves. Without conversations, that information isn't going to get conveyed. If I set a time limit for playing games or tie it to doing chores, I explain why. If they aren't allowed to visit a certain category of website or use a certain app, I give an explanation (in many cases, their membership would violate TOS) or context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Supervision.&lt;/strong&gt; This is a rather broad concept, and is interpreted differently depending on the parent, the maturity level of the child, and the content they are most frequently accessing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't keylog everything they do, but I do know how to get to my server logs so I have an idea about what websites are being visited, and when. (This is useful when a discussion needs to happen or a boundary needs to be established – if they're up late posting on Facebook, they're not getting enough sleep, and the logs will tattle on them, and I'll know it's time to have a chat about how important sleep is and if necessary we'll start impounding the tablet at 8pm or whatever.) More usefully, the laptops and tablets are used in a communal area of the house – typically kitchen table or family room. I have a very good idea of what they're doing simply by glancing over every ten minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal here is not to control every interaction or activity, but rather to know what they're looking at. Is most of the time spent reading Wikipedia and learning something, or playing Flash games? What kind of games (strategy, action, puzzle, etc.)? Also, I can gauge whether this is really &quot;value add&quot; time (i.e. there's educational value here), or &quot;vegetation&quot; time. Relaxing with a computer game is not bad &lt;em&gt;per se&lt;/em&gt;, but it doesn't need to happen for hours at a stretch. Similarly, if they're reading articles, that's more valuable than reading the latest Top Ten List of Shocking Foods You Didn't Know About.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By understanding their interest and usage pattern, I'm getting to know my kid – what they're good at, what they're passionate about, etc. It gives me possible topics of conversation (&quot;Hey, were you looking at spaceship videos yesterday? What are your thoughts about this mission to Mars?&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discussion.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Talk to their kids about electronic activities.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I show them things I'm doing. Occasionally this is a sort of cheating way to pay attention to them while I'm actually working on my own stuff, but it also gives them an idea of &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; one can do on the computer, &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; one would be interested in it, and &lt;em&gt;how or where&lt;/em&gt; it can be found. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Games aren't purely a waste of time, and can be a great way to relax. Games can also become a giant time sink, investing a lot of time and emotional energy in a wholly virtual space. I share stories about myself getting &quot;too much into&quot; things as a way of pointing out that it can happen. I refer back to those stories when I'm trying to get them to switch to a different activity. (&quot;You've been on Minecraft for hours, remember how Mommy told you about nearly flunking a class because of WoW? Hit save and take a break.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There's plenty of educational content online, but there's even more useless junk. Even ignoring content that isn't age appropriate, there's a great deal of uninformed or factually inaccurate material presented, and kids generally don't have good filters to know what's &quot;good&quot; educational stuff and what's not. Conversations about what they want to learn about, and &lt;em&gt;where&lt;/em&gt; they're learning about it, can help lead to conversations about quality sources and less worthwhile ones.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If they want to research something online, I suggest starting points for research. Google is ok, but often kids search poorly. My child wanted to know about birds in our backyard and why she only saw certain ones. Her search terms (&quot;birds in backyard&quot;) led to videos of birds in other people's backyards. I helped her find the Audobon bird guide, and &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt;, she had a lot more fun with – especially enjoying making the computer play a wide variety of bird songs and then trying to imitate them. My feedback and direction were minimal, but it helped her get to a point where she enjoyed and learned a great deal more.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If they feel I've set too tight of a time limit or content limit, they know they can talk to me about it. And I am &lt;em&gt;happy&lt;/em&gt; to have a conversation about it, because they get a chance to convince me I'm wrong. That means they need to think about a compelling reason – &quot;I have to get three stars on that Angry Birds level&quot; is unlikely to work, but &quot;Angry Birds has some really interesting game physics and visual design&quot; means they're at least pretending to have some level of interaction beyond simple fun. &quot;Everybody else in my class has their own laptop&quot; is unlikely to work (and blatantly untrue), but describing why it will benefit you is at least a reasonable start.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Social media. Oh, social media…&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to kids about how social media works and both its risks and benefits.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's great to be able to share links and photos and anecdotes with your friends, particularly those you don't see at school every day. It's also a potential minefield for online bullying, and even well-intentioned interaction can go wrong if misinterpreted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a real-life conversation, it's easier to judge whether a comment is a joke or an insult – and it's also possible for a friend to notice their intended joke was misinterpreted and apologize for the confusion. The lack of nonverbal cues (see section above) can make social media more stressful than face-to-face communication. Tweens/teens typically feel awkward and self-conscious &lt;em&gt;anyway&lt;/em&gt;, and the streamlined simplicity of social media &quot;conversations&quot; gives no context or nonverbal cues, and that can push them even further into self-doubt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Rachel Simmons, &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://time.com/3559340/instagram-tween-girls/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Secret Language of Girls on Instagram.&lt;/a&gt;&quot; &lt;em&gt;Time.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only is it important to be aware of the impact that &lt;em&gt;other kids&lt;/em&gt; can have on your own children, it's important to also help them think about how they're impacting others. It can be really easy to type something nasty online, easier than talking face-to-face to a person. But it's just as hurtful (if not more so, see prev paragraph). If you're against mean behavior in person, make it clear that the same rules apply on the internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also very easy to see everybody talking about fun, parties, and wonderful positive things, and feel like you're the only person in the world who's angsty, having friend problems, struggling with schoolwork, tired and hormonal, madly in love with somebody who doesn't love you back… and that isolation hurts, and drives you to further bury the negative feelings so as to not depress all the happy people. That isn't healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Maia Szalavitz, &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/27/youre-not-alone-misery-has-more-company-than-you-think/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Misery Has More Company Than You Think, Especially on Facebook.&lt;/a&gt;&quot; &lt;em&gt;Time.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, controlling access to one's personal information is important, particularly for kids who are more likely to have to deal with cyberbullying or online predators. Ensure they understand whether an app or platform is posting their location (or whether &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; are), and the risk of having that information publicized. Go through privacy settings with them, explaining the ramifications of each setting. For example, you could say &quot;This setting means that anyone in the world can find out where I am when I post a status update. I have this off on my personal account. I'd be more worried about your physical safety if you don't leave this turned off. Do you think this is a good or bad idea?&quot;. When they start signing up for things without my help or permission, they'll have some understanding of what all that privacy stuff is about and why they should think about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Balance.&lt;/strong&gt; The electronic device shouldn't be the primary activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids need to learn how to interact with people in the physical world. Even a kid destined to be a hardcore programmer will still have to cope with physical human interaction: employers, landlords, friends, romantic partners, even grocery store cashiers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One study found that taking tweens away from electronics for less than a week resulted in a significant increase in their ability to understand body language and facial expression. They weren't being specifically taught about body language and facial expressions during those five days, they were just interacting with their peers in person instead of on a phone – and that led to a measurable increase in their capacity for understanding interpersonal interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;the results suggest that digital screen time, even when used for social interaction, could reduce time spent developing skills in reading nonverbal cues of human emotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Uhls et al. &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563214003227&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Five days at outdoor education camp without screens improves preteen skills with nonverbal emotion cues.&lt;/a&gt;&quot; &lt;em&gt;Computers in Human Behavior&lt;/em&gt;. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2014.05.036&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage interaction with friends independent from social media. If a computer activity is their passion, it can be helpful to look for a club or interest group where like-minded individuals &lt;em&gt;talk&lt;/em&gt; about these topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is perhaps the hardest category for a child to self-regulate. If it's an enjoyable activity, why not keep doing it? Especially if it's enjoyable &lt;em&gt;and educational or productive&lt;/em&gt; in some way – it is easier to convince one's parents that designing web apps is a healthier time investment than Angry Birds. However, it's still not healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like my kids to grow into well-rounded adults who are able to appreciate a variety of subjects. If their enthusiasm and passion is computer science, that's great: they're following in my footsteps. But I also would like them to know how to feed themselves, relax and be inspired by a walk outside, know how to interact with other people so they can function in society (and for their jobs be able to design products that other people want to use), do their laundry, watch bad sci-fi movies and laugh, have a sensible discussion about current events, and so much more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="9608" LastEditDate="2015-02-20T23:13:16.163" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T23:13:16.163" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18748" CreationDate="2015-02-20T20:16:23.153" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you stated you really wanted to be a mom, but were repulsed by babies, this answer would be different. But I don't hear that. So this is a lot about &lt;em&gt;not wanting children&lt;/em&gt;, which should be the first step in decision-making.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people ignore that having a baby is a &lt;em&gt;crisis situation&lt;/em&gt; (albeit a &lt;em&gt;normal&lt;/em&gt; crisis): you are suddenly called upon to take on a completely new role and new responsibilities that very few are prepared for adequately. The failure to publicly acknowledge the degree of crisis that occurs, our unpreparedness for it, and the continuing societal definition of the primary role of women as mothers puts stress on the woman who even considers voluntary childlessness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is anything wrong with you? &lt;strong&gt;No.&lt;/strong&gt; You are simply asking a question that most people have not considered asking openly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Google &lt;em&gt;voluntary childlessness&lt;/em&gt; and you'll come up with article titles like: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Stigma management among the voluntarily childless&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;When no means no: Disbelief, disregard and deviance as discourses of voluntary childlessness  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Childfree and feminine Understanding the gender identity of voluntarily childless women  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Women without children: A contradiction in terms?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Women's voluntary childlessness: A radical rejection of motherhood?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;'Unnatural','Unwomanly','Uncreditable'and 'Undervalued': The Significance of Being a Childless Woman in Australian Society  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Does the reason matter? variations in childlessness concerns among US women&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very fact that this is framed negatively (child &lt;strong&gt;less&lt;/strong&gt; instead of child &lt;strong&gt;free&lt;/strong&gt;) is significant. No wonder you feel that somehow you're wrong. You're not. You're just being honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Google &quot;parenthood and happiness&quot; and you'll get better results dealing with the myths of parenthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, after an honest exploration of whether you actually want to be a parent (not even considering the repulsiveness of squalling, wrinkled little baby in your arms), you decide you do, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; you can take steps to overcome your dislike of babies, or deal with parenting without the baby-phase. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that babyhood is a short period in the life of a child. I have known enough women who don't like babies but loved having children to know that it's not rare, and very possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have known fewer women who voluntarily chose to be childfree. We all suffer from the lack of non-judgemental discourse on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T20:16:23.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18753" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18755" CreationDate="2015-02-20T20:50:54.347" Score="3" ViewCount="6548" Body="&lt;p&gt;What can be some of the causes/reasons that a child (in the 7-year-old range) to speak in a silly voice and in a silly way, more than an average child? I don't know how to be more specific by silly voice and in a silly way, but I mean that the child speaks with a different voice, usually mimicking a spoiled 2-year-old in a way that is not the natural way that he usually speaks and it is pretty annoying and not very likable. It happens very often when the child communicates with grown ups. I am guessing it can be an attempt to draw attention or be liked more but I'm not a psychologist so I thought I'd ask. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some of the causes of this type of behavior in children, and what are some of the cures for it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13721" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-27T17:02:44.193" LastActivityDate="2018-07-27T17:02:44.193" Title="Cause and cure of silly behavior in children" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|speech|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18748" CreationDate="2015-02-20T20:58:58.153" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Warning - this may seem mean&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm glad you stood up to say this. I'm a dad and not quite the same scenario, but even after having 2 daughters who are not quite out of the crying phase I can tell you the sound of crying is just about the most annoying thing you can hear. Part of me thinks it's supposed to be though. I have found ways to deflect my kids from crying unless they're genuinely injured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never wanted kids per say. I just wasn't opposed to it when I knew my wife wanted them - or more that she phrased it as her dream in life. So I dealt with having to hold tiny babies and thinking I was going to break them or not know what on earth they could want when they can't communicate. It was scary to think of, but what a lot of people don't tell you is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the first 6 months or so of any baby's life is spent with them doing almost nothing. Barely rolling over, crawling, etc. During those months you will somehow forget that babies indeed are ugly, rolly, fragile or whatever else may be roaming through your mind.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Babies are a lot tougher than you think. My newborn rolled off a bed and crashed head first into the floor from about 3 feet. She was fine. You really can juggle babies around - to some degree - and they kind of just go with it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Babies are truly genius. To know absolutely nothing and yet somehow convey interests and needs in a way I can only describe as telepathic is very interesting. You will delight in seeing just how much they retain in such a short period of time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Crying is a nightmare and will ruin you for sleep, for sanity, for personal time, for comfort on every level. But crying persists when you fail to approach it and figure out what calms them down. It's surprisingly not too difficult, at least for my two girls who have opposite personalities. That has to account for something.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As much as you want to deny it - like I did for years - you will love the sh** out of your kids. Unless you're a drug addict psycho, I guess. So even if you feel uncomfortable around babies (i still do) you will not feel the same way around your own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now let me tell you this: Enjoy every second of your life. Go out, have fun, live it up. Cause if you end up getting pregnant either by choice or accident, it will be a long time before you can ween back into anything that you once did in life. You will probably not miss your old life much... maybe a few things... but I don't know anyone that regrets their kids. I'm a jerk, but I love my kids and wouldn't go back in time if I could.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not messed up. You're nowhere near alone. You shouldn't do anything to change how you feel about this, at least from my non-professional, know nothing about psychology perspective. I was the same way. I still am. And having kids is not the nightmare I thought it would be. It's a different kind of nightmare, to be sure. But not one you want to wake up from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS - I'd say you feel this way because you're not psychotic. I'd say people who blindly dream of having kids without thinking of breaking them are affected by some kind of psychotic tendencies. It's those of us who fear damaging them that end up paying the most attention to our kids. At least that's what I've come to believe from my short life of parenthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="13274" LastEditDate="2015-02-20T21:05:05.863" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T21:05:05.863" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18753" CreationDate="2015-02-20T21:25:49.150" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ignore it.  Your child will most likely outgrow it if you ignore it.  It sounds like a submissive behavior -- a way to say &quot;I'm just a little child&quot; without saying so out loud.  You might reflect on why the child insists on telling the world &quot;I'm very childish&quot; in these interactions.  Something is making this child want to project the fact that he/she isn't grown up.  Are you heavily focused on &quot;acting your age?&quot;  That might explain it.  Is he/she stressed about growing up?  It's hard to know without seeing the bigger picture.  A family therapist could probably help if it's really that big of a problem, but I'd probably try ignoring it for a while first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13482" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T21:25:49.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18756" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18757" CreationDate="2015-02-20T21:59:22.107" Score="4" ViewCount="1181" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, Haruki Murakami started an advice column on his personal website. One of the questions was about motivating kids. Here is what Murakami replied:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a parent's expectations for children are large, it becomes a burden for children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;-- &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.welluneednt.com/entry/2015/02/04/073300&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;link for those who know Japanese&lt;/a&gt; and for &lt;a href=&quot;http://review.gawker.com/haruki-murakami-on-just-about-everything-1686827217&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;those who don't&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this true? Can a parent's (good willed) expectations for their child burden the latter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13722" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2019-05-02T12:26:48.823" Title="Do a parent's big expectations become a burden on the child?" Tags="|development|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18756" CreationDate="2015-02-20T22:22:35.990" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This can certainly be true if the parent is what we call a &quot;pushy parent&quot; forcing the child to attend lessons or training in things they do not enjoy, for the purpose of meeting the parent's hopes rather than what the child wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, parents with high self motivation can pass this behaviour on to their children through demonstrating such behaviour and being encouraging rather than pushy, so don't be afraid to hold high hopes for your children, after all, we all want the best for our offspring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T22:22:35.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18756" CreationDate="2015-02-20T22:25:43.283" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Absolutely.  This depends on the child, of course, as some are more interested in pleasing the parent than others; but it is not uncommon for a child to feel the weight of expectations.  I would guess that nearly every child feels some happiness in meeting or exceeding parental expectations, and feels some sadness at not meeting those expectations, though certainly some feel both much more than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two major ways in which expectations can be problematic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Expectations that are difficult to achieve can lead a child to attempt to achieve those beyond where they ought.  Different children are able to achieve different things, and if you expect your child to be a master violin player, for example, and he simply isn't all that good at violin, it can be frustrating for him that he can't live up to your expectation.  Sometimes this is thought of as being used to encourage someone to work harder, and it may; but it also may force them to work harder than is appropriate, at the cost of other important things.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Expectations that do not line up with the child's desires may be a source of friction and stress.  If you expect your daughter to be successful financially, but she would rather be a stay at home mom, for example, that may be a source of friction.  Expecting a child to be good at the violin when he's not interested in music, same.  Parents often use expectations to attempt to modify the actions or preferences of the child, but that's a very risky business when it's not something like 'I expect you to do the dishes once a week', but is something at a higher level, such as life choices.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my experience (mostly as a child and a friend, but starting to see as a parent as well) expectations are inevitable, and despite the good will of a parent will be difficult to navigate.  Many of those expectations are unspoken or unintentional; your child may feel an expectation of being successful academically despite you not feeling that way, but comes from you regularly talking about the value of a good education.  Being careful to discuss your explicit expectations and being understanding and cognizant of any potential for unspoken or implicit expectations is an important aspect of parenthood, particularly as your children age and become more able to make their own choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T22:25:43.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18756" CreationDate="2015-02-20T23:00:10.013" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;That article looks like a brief summary or something. I'm sure his actual thoughts on the subject stem much further than a single quote.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider though - You may remember much from your childhood. It might not be too difficult to connect your current behavior to some parental behavior or environmental condition in youth. Abusive kids are probably much more likely to be abusive, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having large expectations for your kids is probably not a bad thing so long as you don't force your expectations on them harshly. Like smacking their hands with a ruler if they mess up on the piano. You know that likely won't translate well in their later years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like to believe my daughter is much smarter than most kids her age. Most parents probably think that of their kids. But my expectations of them aren't pushed on them like the angry dad in that movie &quot;shine&quot; but more like blowing up their achievements with expressions of amazement. When my 4 year old writes her name I act like she just solved cold fusion or something and she gets all excited about it. When she messes up I just tone down the excitement a little and try to guide her on how to do it correctly. I think my exaggerations give her the goal to excel instead of the fear not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if I'm right to do this. For all I know I'm causing just as much harm and later in life she may wonder what she's doing wrong when people don't crap their pants just because she aced an exam or mastered vegan cooking. I just approach it by thinking - would I like this as a kid. Sometimes they make you so mad it's hard to maintain that, but for the most part I try to project my expectations on them in a fun way, and keep the disappointments as un-menacing as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-02-20T23:00:10.013" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18760" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-21T01:53:53.393" Score="4" ViewCount="651" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know a couple of children in their early or pre-teen years who have already accomplished more than many adults accomplish in their entire careers.  These accomplishments seem to be a combination of natural talent, hard work, and an intense focus on their chosen area of interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last characteristic doesn't describe every child prodigy, but it describes some, and its that concept that concerns me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, is there a downside to missing being exposed to a wide variety of interests, particularly before the teenage years?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe it is important for a parent to encourage interests, but is it appropriate for a parent to also impose limits to those interests?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child is advanced enough to be collaborating on developing the next big development framework, is it ok for a parent to say &quot;you've been sitting at that computer for three hours straight. Go outside and play!&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that this isn't specific to computer use.  It is just as applicable to a child who plays a musical instrument, builds, creates art, etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-12-04T21:08:05.330" Title="Should a precocious child be prevented from devoting too much time to their primary interest?" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|gifted|limits|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18760" CreationDate="2015-02-21T02:39:14.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I didn't like that pressure(well by pressure i mean saying me to take a 'brake') from my parents, so I think that in child's interests you should allow them to do whatever they want for few hours(without disturbing them) and then gently ask them to take a brake for 5-10 minutes, go to shop, help you cook, etc, because if you kick them to play outside nothing good is gonna happen and who are they gonna play with? Preteens are kinda computer-attracted not toy attracted&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shorter version: There SHOULD be a little bit of control but not too much, as if it is too much child will not have enough motivation to do what they need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12078" LastEditorUserId="12078" LastEditDate="2015-03-07T09:23:41.523" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T09:23:41.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18760" CreationDate="2015-02-21T03:42:56.850" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, there are downsides to the lack of exposure to other activities:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child may not get exposure to societal conventions or norms outside of their area of expertise. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child may not develop other skills, and thus lack options if they ever stop pursuing their current interest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increased demands/expectations on a child that may have heightened intellectual capacity, but not comparable emotional or other neurological development. The added stress and exposure can lead to an increased risk of anxiety and depression in such children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1 and 2 here also apply to children that spend too much time playing video games or watching TV (if watching TV could be called an expertise). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there can also be downsides to forcing your child to not engage in their chosen activity: They could be on their way to being experts and/or leaders in their field, and preventing them from pursuing their interest may hinder their development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of my &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/may/15/child-geniuses-prodigies&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;readings&lt;/a&gt; indicate that the key to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/04/magazine/how-do-you-raise-a-prodigy.html?pagewanted=all&amp;amp;_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;raising prodigies&lt;/a&gt; lies in proper support for their abilities. If the parents can recognize that their child has that ability, and help nurture it, then the child can be largely successful &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; happy. The &quot;dark side&quot; of being a prodigy tends to occur when a child is being forced to work or practice, or doesn't get to have a say in what they're learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your specific example of the prodigy developer, I think some of these points have to be thought about with the field of computers specifically in mind. My early point 1 may be largely irrelevant, as society tends to accept &quot;geeks&quot; of all levels of social ability. Point 3 may be mitigated some by the fact that most of their interaction with their &quot;peers&quot; will be through the Internet, where it &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be easier to separate oneself emotionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, coding isn't a task that takes well to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424127887324339204578173252223022388&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;interruption&lt;/a&gt;. A 10 minute break may take an additional 10-15 to recover from and get back into the &lt;a href=&quot;http://thetomorrowlab.com/2015/01/why-developers-hate-being-interrupted/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;zone&lt;/a&gt;. The frustration of this downtime may be detrimental to the child's goals and progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there are physical issues to be concerned about. It is not healthy for a child to be sitting in any given position for 3 hours straight, much less at a computer where their hands are performing repeated tasks. It's going to be very important for them to take adequate breaks and stretch. While it may not be the best idea to come in at specific times and say, &quot;Take a break, now.&quot;, it &lt;em&gt;would&lt;/em&gt; be a great idea to train the child to make sure they're taking breaks often, especially between tasks. It may also necessitate investing in a highly ergonomic work environment for the child, to promote the long-term health of their hands/wrists/spine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In many ways, a child prodigy should still be treated like a child. Even if their abilities in their domains exceed your abilities, or even your understanding, you still have the ability to teach and guide them. They can learn things like time management, stress management, healthy habits, communication skills, emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, and more. Developing a framework, mastering the viola, or painting a masterpiece don't require any of the other skills I just listed. (No, not even time management! Focusing on one thing, and one thing only, isn't time management.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if the child doesn't get exposed to other activities, they're working on something they already enjoy. It can be very hard for people of any age to find something their passionate enough about to devote so much time and energy to as a prodigy may. I would hesitate to put too much of a damper on that. Even if they change their mind later in life, they may have developed their particular skill well enough to allow them to do it as a &lt;em&gt;job&lt;/em&gt; so that may use their free time to pursue other interests. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-12-04T21:08:05.330" LastActivityDate="2015-12-04T21:08:05.330" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18763" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26413" CreationDate="2015-02-21T05:07:15.447" Score="12" ViewCount="15013" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 15 year old that has been grounded 60% of the time the past two years.  Most of the groundings are around his grades or forgetting to do homework.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is grounded at first he buckles down, gets his homework done and seem mature.  Then a couple of weeks later he goes back...  There is really no reason for not getting stuff done.  He is playing games, he just forgets, he didn't know, he takes notes on homework wrong in class so does wrong things, whatever.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is in the school's gifted program and is in the 99th percentile on the standardized tests.  Obviously this does not help him study or do his homework.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is grounded he is usually &quot;electronically grounded&quot; too where he can't use a device unless in family room and for homework.  Is he too old to ground?  Should I try something else?  I have had talks with him 20 times on this stuff.  He is a good kid but is immature and has no ability to prioritize anything.  At the same time he can't take responsibility for anything - he makes excuses or lies about why he gets bad grades every time...  so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7004" LastEditorUserId="7004" LastEditDate="2015-02-21T06:06:31.227" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T20:59:46.877" Title="Is 15 years old too old to ground for bad grades?" Tags="|discipline|teen|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18763" CreationDate="2015-02-21T06:39:54.577" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are some very significant things in what you've said: he's in the school's gifted program, is in the 99th%ile on the standardized tests, but he doesn't study or do his homework. He is a good kid, but immature. At the same time he &lt;em&gt;makes excuses or lies about why he gets bad grades&lt;/em&gt; every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish I could say this is normal and natural, but it's not, unless you're talking only about very intelligent kids, a subset of whom believes that they can get by on their smarts and their smarts alone. When they &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt; make the grade on smarts alone, it's always someone else's fault. Lies are common, and (maybe you haven't encountered this) so is cheating. And this they will justify by saying, &lt;em&gt;&quot;I'm smarter than (X), and if I had studied, I'd have passed. So, cheating isn't wrong.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, the parents have played a role in this. In the self-esteem movement, Parents and schools determined every kid would feel special, regardless of what they did, which meant they began hearing remarks like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You’re awesome!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You’re smart.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You’re gifted.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;You’re super!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were duped. Almost everyone was duped. For more recent studies have shown that when a child is complimented insincerely, or on things they cannot control (how do you stay awesome/smart/gifted/super? By never taking the chance of proving people wrong by trying new things!), but research is now indicating this method has unintended consequences: we actually decrease their confidence in themselves and decrease their willingness to risk and fail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;Dr. Carol Dweck wrote a landmark book called, Mindset. In it she reports findings about the adverse affects of praise. She tells of two groups of fifth grade students who took a test. Afterward, one group was told, “You must be smart.” The other group was told, “You must have worked hard.” When a second test was offered to the students, they were told that it would be harder and that they didn’t have to take it. Ninety percent of the kids who heard “you must be smart” opted not to take it. Why? They feared proving that the affirmation may be false. Of the second group, most of the kids chose to take the test, and while they didn’t do well, Dweck’s researchers heard them whispering under their breath, “This is my favorite test.” They loved the challenge. Finally, a third test was given, equally as hard as the first one. The result? The first group of students who were told they were smart, did worse. The second group did 30% better. Dweck concludes that our affirmation of kids must target factors in their control. When we say “you must have worked hard,” we are praising effort, which they have full control over. It tends to elicit more effort. When we praise smarts, it may provide a little confidence at first but ultimately causes a child to work less. They say to themselves, “If it doesn’t come easy, I don’t want to do it.” &lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The articles discuss how to chance your parenting style to try to undo this damage, including &lt;strong&gt;affirming smart risk-taking and hard work wisely.&lt;/strong&gt; Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Google 'Understanding a Lack of Motivation of gifted students to excel' on &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/&quot;&gt;Google Scholar&lt;/a&gt;. Do some reading. Make an appointment with the school counselor, and get more professional help if you can afford it and it has been recommended for your son. There is time to turn this around, but it's going to take a lot of work. It can be done!  And &lt;strong&gt;No, he is not too old to be grounded for bad grades.&lt;/strong&gt; It just needs to be structured differently, since it's not working the way you'd like now, and combined with (yes) rewards for effort and more active parenting than grounding on your part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://growingleaders.com/blog/3-mistakes-we-make-leading-kids/&quot;&gt;Three Huge Mistakes We Make Leading Kids…and How to Correct Them&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bradthiessen.com/html5/m340/4j%20HowNottoTalk.pdf&quot;&gt;How Not to Talk to Your Kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;sub&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&amp;lt;- Read this article completely&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;/sub&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2014/01/16/7-crippling-parenting-behaviors-that-keep-children-from-growing-into-leaders/&quot;&gt;7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-21T13:15:06.253" LastActivityDate="2015-02-21T13:15:06.253" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16852" CreationDate="2015-02-21T07:30:01.777" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps I have a unique perspective on this answer because &lt;strong&gt;I actually agree with her sentiment&lt;/strong&gt;.  For all of you who feel like flaming or downvoting because of this, please spare me the insanity of comparing loving discipline to abuse - if you don't know the difference then you made the right choice to not spank!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, despite agreeing with her sentiment, &lt;strong&gt;I would never say this to a stranger like this&lt;/strong&gt;. Part of being a parent in a free country is having the freedom to decide how you wish to instill discipline in your child.  &lt;strong&gt;Though I may not agree with your choices, they're yours to make without public commentary&lt;/strong&gt; (you opened yourself up to commentary in this forum, but I'm not trying to start a debate with you here).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this assumes this woman was not directly affected by the child's behavior (i.e. they destroyed her property, etc. - more than that pesky kid is bothering her).  If your child did something destructive toward her, then it is much more understandable for her to comment on your ineffective discipline (at least it was ineffective in this instance - we've all been there at some point), in addition to demanding remediation.  Anyway, I'm assuming this wasn't the case based on your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't need to respond in a snarky way to try to win some argument.  You know there are people who spank their kids in the world, and that fact isn't what is bothering you anyway.  Don't try to address her view on that.  What you need to do is address her social error - &lt;strong&gt;that she offered unsolicited criticism of your parenting.&lt;/strong&gt;  If this had been a private discussion with a friend, it would have been a very different matter, but the old adage of &quot;&lt;strong&gt;I don't care how much you know until I know how much you care&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; really applies here.  Given that, here are some possible responses:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That's one approach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm sure that's what you'd do, but this is my child and I have the freedom to discipline them as I see fit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm sorry, you don't really have the standing in my life to speak to my parenting style.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Please keep your unsolicited commentary on my parenting to yourself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These can have different levels of &quot;attitude&quot;, which really should be customized to the level of offense she's caused, including the attitude that she had with you.  Though despite her lack of graciousness, that does not require you to omit graciousness also.  &lt;strong&gt;Perhaps the most gracious response on your part is no response at all&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13724" LastEditorUserId="13724" LastEditDate="2015-02-21T15:34:40.757" LastActivityDate="2015-02-21T15:34:40.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18748" CreationDate="2015-02-21T13:33:26.123" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am unable to comment (not enough rep points) and this isn't really an answer only a supportive message. My wife had tokophobia and also just didn't like babies. I really wanted kids and she knew that when we met. We went though with having a baby (it was really tough pregnancy, panic attacks, identity crises) and we had a psychiatrist for the panic attacks and got a cesarean section birth on the UK nhs due to stress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am pleased to say three months one week later everything is okay. The biology kicks in; other peoples kids are still not that interesting but out child is loved, cherished and enjoyed. Now she is suggesting another one. I am not saying that could/should happen to you. It's fine not to have children. Having a baby with all the risks and biological turmoil is hard and not for everyone. I am just saying that having panic attacks around babies happens to some women and that it doesn't define your outcomes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is immense social pressure on women to want to have kids. There is zero social awareness of tokophobia. When my wife was pregnant at her office mothers would take about difficult births and things which would stress my wife out and want to make her cry and puke. But to not be &quot;a social outcast&quot; she just bit her lip and swallowed. She only told a few close friends. Women should try to tune in a bit and back off when someone isn't actively engaging in the conversation and should always ask if it's okay before launching into stories of the &quot;nuts and bolts&quot; of birth and new borns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: it's normal for a minority of ladies and it doesn't define your possibilities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13732" LastActivityDate="2015-02-21T13:33:26.123" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18760" CreationDate="2015-02-21T16:03:38.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents need to set limits.  However, I also believe the appropriate limits are &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; higher than most modern western parents tend to set them.  For a start, most kids spend six hours a day being exposed to a broad range of topics, usually including PE.  Extroverts will actively seek out social opportunities to recharge, and introverts don't need as many social opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're homeschooling and your child is literally spending all day on their interest to the exclusion of any physical or social activity, you have a problem that needs addressing.  If your child has spent all day at school, gotten a half hour of physical activity, and finished his homework, then he still has a pretty well-rounded day even if he spends the entire remainder of it on his chosen interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-02-21T16:03:38.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18775" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18797" CreationDate="2015-02-21T23:16:55.157" Score="9" ViewCount="553" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the risk of this question being overly vague in its title; I'll provide a little more detail on a specific issue. I taught my son to ride a bike last summer after he had just turned 4 years old. It took a lot of encouragement and reassurance that the risk he was taking was safe and worthwhile. I convinced him that if he fell I would likely catch him, and if not his helmet and large assortment of pads would protect his body from the fall. His older sister is a natural born risk taker, she is 7 years old and learned to ride a bike last summer as well, in about 15 minutes. Eventually he learned as well, and it really didn't take him long once he decided to &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, we are working on learning to fly RC helicopters that they received as gifts during the holidays. I've worked out a &quot;flight school&quot; curriculum consisting of 10 lessons which increase gradually in difficulty. Both children have made it to the final lesson, my daughter completed it, but my son is getting frustrated with how many times he has failed and wants to quit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This exemplifies a tendency in him to quit. I try to remind him of how proud I am of all the effort he has put into developing this skill, and how far he has come. We seem to have hit a wall, and it has been several days since he has given it any effort. Again, the larger issue here is perseverance in general. More alarming examples of this are creative projects which he almost never attempts. Activities like: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drawing pictures&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;building with lego blocks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;playing with play dough&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;are difficult to even get off the ground. &#xA;I try to avoid comparisons between him and his sister, instead emphasizing the fun of doing the activity together. How do I encourage him to take (safe) risks and to never give up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13739" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T17:13:08.257" Title="How to cultivate perseverance without being overbearing?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18775" CreationDate="2015-02-22T13:27:50.170" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like your son gets intimidated and discouraged when he compares himself to his older siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to find an activity that only he would be involved in - a particular kind of sport, a musical instrument, a chore, etc.  Make sure this is &quot;his thing&quot; that other siblings do not even attempt.  This way he can enjoy small steps forward without feeling like he is already 2 laps behind his sister.  He will build confidence that will transfer into other areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13709" LastActivityDate="2015-02-22T13:27:50.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18756" CreationDate="2015-02-22T18:35:35.653" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes.   This is the plot to many movies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having extremely large expectations with a child can go different ways depending on the child but either way it becomes a burden. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It disenchants their lives and own aspirations and dreams and goals to set them on a self-sacrificing mission to please their parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While all parents have dreams for their children to succeed,  when the expectations become overbearing it can appear to the child that their parents love is conditional upon succeeding in these expectations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has the potential to cause depression,  suicidal ideologies.   Should the child rebel against these expectations not only is there potential to be bad for their well-being,  they also may get a later start in life because they will have a late start in realizing their own dreams and thus reraising themselves from scratch to achieve these goals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a book called SELF-ESTEEM, ASPIRATIONS AND EXPECTATIONS OF ADOLESCENTS WITH PHYSICAL DISABILITY&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which examines the differences between expectations of disabled and body-enabled children where they found there was a significant negative correlation for the able-bodied children with high expectations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13385" LastActivityDate="2015-02-22T18:35:35.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18782" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-22T19:53:19.687" Score="37" ViewCount="27562" Body="&lt;p&gt;My  15 year old son has just confessed to me that he is interested in younger children, especially boys ages 8 to 11. He seemed very upset about this. I tried to calm him down a bit, but am left wondering what to do now. If it matters we are in the US as recent immigrants from Europe.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are a very technological household, so I know he knows how to use the Tor browser (like me) to hide himself online. I am worried what he might find there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13746" LastEditorUserId="4521" LastEditDate="2015-02-23T05:24:35.513" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T13:15:07.897" Title="What should I do if my 15 year old son is sexually interested in younger boys?" Tags="|sex|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-02-22T20:54:31.910" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking from experience here. At 16 years old, I confessed to my parents that I was addicted to pornography and had been for 5 years. I hid my browsing history and the like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, make sure he knows that you love him. It does not matter that he is interested in younger children or that he did anything wrong, you still love him. Make sure he knows this. He needs to know that you love him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't punish him. From my own experience, my 5 years of addiction to pornography were the worst years of my life. I hated myself. At times, the thought of suicide crossed my mind, although I always dismissed it immediately. The entire year before I told my parents, I struggled to stop. More than ever before, I wanted to get out of it. I prayed frequently, asking God to help me. I resisted the temptations to look at more pornography. Yet I always failed. I even failed more frequently than before. When I finally managed to tell my parents, they were surprised, but they made sure I knew that they loved me. Don't punish your son, he already struggled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't cut off internet access. He did come to you, which means he wants to change, or that he wants help. Sit down with your son and have him come up with a solution that will protect him. For me, this was only using a computer in the same room as someone else. This doesn't have to be a permanent solution. Come up with techniques to help him avoid falling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are religious and trust your son's religious leader, suggest to your son that he might go and speak with his religious leader. It is important that he be willing to go. His religious leader might be able to help him figure out how to use religion to help him with his struggles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider a counselor. These are professionals who's job is helping people. The biggest thing that a counselor can do is coming up with techniques to help him with his struggles. A counselor should not try to change someone; changes have to come from within. It's important that your son feels extremely comfortable with his counselor. The counselor may be able to provide him with reassurance and methods to avoid his struggles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, make sure he knows that you love him. He trusts you - he came to you and asked for help. He needs to know that you love him. Also, he is 15, make sure that he makes the decisions with your advice. If you set up rules, he will likely feel as if you are punishing him. However, if you have him set up the rules and figure out what he wants to do - with your advice, he will feel as if you are supporting him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13748" LastActivityDate="2015-02-22T20:54:31.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-02-22T21:43:15.133" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;I deeply admire your son for facing his feelings and for seeking help. You must have a very close and special relationship if he can trust you with this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I strongly recommend that you all talk to a good psychatrist&lt;/strong&gt;, preferably someone with experience in this field. If these feelings persist - and they may - he will need help developing coping strategies and methods to deal with his sexuality and this may be a long process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Your task will be to support and love him no matter what.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that feelings of attraction and desire do not have to be executed. His thoughts and fantasies are his, this does not make him a molester. Unfortunately, many careless people will fail to distinguish between desires and actions, so be careful who you trust with this information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not from the US, so I don't know much about the legal implications. But I do know that if he ever is registered as &quot;offender&quot;, it may influence the rest of his life. The US are more &quot;restrictive&quot; (can't come up with a better word) than most European countries in all things sexual. I am not sure who would be legaly bound to report him if you ask for advice (psychiatrist should be ok), so perhaps some day you should discuss the legal consequences with a trustworthy lawyer as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-02-22T21:43:15.133" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-02-23T01:02:53.933" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pedophilia is a sexual orientation. &lt;em&gt;He is not a bad person just for having this orientation&lt;/em&gt; (any more than any other orientation), and that needs to be made clear to him. Not all pedophiles are child molesters and not all child molesters are pedophiles. Your candor, love, and support are going to be incredibly important to him, and his courage in facing this with you, as others have mentioned, is incredibly commendable. Your son is a remarkable person. He deserves sympathy and respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has he acted on his attraction? (You need not answer.) You need to talk about this. Not all pedophiles do, and if he has not, he has done nothing wrong or illegal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although there is growing awareness in the field of psychotherapy about pedophilia, it is still largely not well-understood, but it is important that he start therapy. Finding a good therapist is going to be difficult, and pre-screening will be necessary.** There is still a fear in the community that reporting a pedophile is mandatory. &lt;strong&gt;It is not&lt;/strong&gt;. It is only mandatory to report someone if the therapist has a strong suspicion that the patient will harm someone by acting on his attraction. Find someone who knows the difference, or can recommend to you to someone who does. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt; about pedophilia written by sympathetic sufferers, i.e. people who know that they are pedophiles, but have made a moral decision not to act on their desires. These people understand that &lt;em&gt;any interaction with child pornography is contributing to child abuse&lt;/em&gt;. It is not merely a matter of illegality (albeit it is a seriously life-altering prohibition); all child pornography involves the exploitation of a minor, unable to give moral and/or legal consent, for sexual purposes.** If your son feels the same way, or can recognize this (I suspect he does already), he will be more amenable to treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many young male pedophiles also have sexual attractions to people closer to their own ages. A good therapist will explore this to see if it is the case, and can work with this. The orientation probably will not be changed, but it might be mitigated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few internet support groups for pedophiles who wish to live lives free of child abuse in any form. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.virped.org/&quot;&gt;Virtuous Pedophiles&lt;/a&gt; is one such group. Their FAQ pages and their reading lists are &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From their page:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We are not an organization for people who want to debate whether sex between children and adults should be legal. We are united in our belief that sexual activity between adults and children is wrong. ...[W]e can resist the temptation to abuse children sexually...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although one of the goals of the website is to reduce the stigma attached to pedophilia by letting people know that a substantial number of pedophiles do not molest children, your son (who should keep this between himself and his parents) can still benefit from their ability to provide peer support and information about available resources to help virtuous pedophiles remain law-abiding, and lead happy, productive lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's obvious that you love your son and want the best for him. Please know that there are other parents and children in your respective shoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** &lt;sub&gt;Before revealing the situation, you should ask the therapist about the conditions under which he or she would break confidentiality and notify the police or others. You should be able to ask confidentiality-related questions over the phone before making an appointment or even revealing your name. Also, a therapist who helps your son to avoid detection from illegal activity is not a true therapist at all.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** &lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;Virtual&lt;/em&gt; child pornography is illegal, and has not been shown scientifically to help pedophiles (it may be harmful). It needs to be avoided.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/522/tarred-and-feathered?act=2#play&quot;&gt;This American Life 522: Tarred and Feathered&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/i-pedophile/278921/&quot;&gt;I, Pedophile&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/what-can-be-done-about-pedophilia/279024/&quot;&gt;What Can Be Done About Pedophilia?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/2013/10/ecas2-1310.html&quot;&gt;Pedophilia: Is There a Duty to Report?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-23T19:52:38.103" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T19:52:38.103" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-02-23T03:16:13.137" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pedophilia is a problematic sexual orientation, but at the age of 15 I don't think it's so straight forward. Being attracted to people 5 years younger than you when you're a 15 year old kid is alot different from liking 13 year olds as a 20 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember a stage around the age of 15 of feeling like I was attracted to younger (10-13 year old) girls, but as I got older, I liked people closer to my age and sometimes older. I think we just like people that look like us, and that's a taste that continues to change as we do. &lt;strong&gt;However, you &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; speak to a professional immediately.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the mean time, make sure he knows to respect people's boundaries at all times, abide by legal guidelines, and remember that sexuality is only a small part of who we are as people. Also, that child pornography is an unacceptable route.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note: This is more geared toward the homosexual side of this situation - pedophilia (if this does turn out to be the case) is something messier and deserves professional outreach. Not just for your son - for you, as soon as possible, to discuss the most healthy path for your him with someone trained to advise you on this more complex problem.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an afterthought, I was raised a Catholic, and we were taught that if you're gay or have any type of sexuality different from what is &quot;normal&quot; you'll go to Hell unless you change and become like everyone else, avoiding what your body tells you is right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know lots of very nice gay people and after some thought, I decided that was an ignorant, unacceptable view. Regardless of your religious teachings, I recommend that you don't let these limited views affect your son, because it could be damaging. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember people with different sexual orientations feel the same way about each-other that us straight people feel about the opposite sex. Different love isn't &quot;bad&quot; love, it's &lt;em&gt;just different&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be understanding of your son and don't let him feel like he has to be someone he isn't. At the same time, again, make sure he understands that sexuality is something that has to be &lt;em&gt;mutual&lt;/em&gt; to be acted upon, and there are legal age limitations and guidelines to adhere to.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13749" LastEditorUserId="13749" LastEditDate="2016-07-31T20:44:47.700" LastActivityDate="2016-07-31T20:44:47.700" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18787" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-23T04:49:01.297" Score="4" ViewCount="5165" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been reading many things about educating morality into a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5678/4174&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; is great but does not deal with the age issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, at what age are children generally most active in developing their moral compass? I'm sure helping your child develop in the right way is something that starts at birth and continues every day that you are both alive. However, I suspect that there is some age at which moral development is more pronounced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know what that magical age is?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2017-06-24T19:57:14.253" Title="At what age does a child's moral compass form?" Tags="|age-appropriate|morals|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-02-23T05:45:03.483" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well I'm glad that he told you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish I had taken the same action as him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I was 13 years old I was attracted to kids my age and younger boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I knew I was gay, but as I got older and older and still felt an attraction to younger kids I saw that it was a problem, but I never told anyone about it because of the fear of being rejected and the way people think about you scared me so I held my biggest depression secret. When I was 13 years old I found a lot of images of child sexual abuse.  I download some that I wish I had never watched.  I kept watching and downloading until I was 21 years old when the FBI finally got me.  This can sound bad, but it was such a relief for me to get caught so I could get help, because there is no help everybody that feels the same way I felt needs to be caught to finally get help and that is sad because most people go to jail first.   I know people that went to jail because they download child pornography but never abused a child, which is the same situation as mine.  I never went to jail that's because the FBI still working in my &quot;case&quot;.  I'm scared and every person that I know from my group therapy was scared of going to jail.  I don't know how people feel about people like me, but going to a prison sounds horrible because you never got help to cure myself of this problem that you don't know how to solve.  Then you need to go to jail and be there with people that are worse then you, not judging because everybody has their problems, but it is scary to be there with murders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I live in the US but I'm not from the US either.  I'm really glad that your son told you about what he feels. A lot of people don't tell their parents because they feel like me and all the other people that couldn't tell with the fear of being interpreted wrong because let's face it the world interprets wrong.  They don't care about you; they want you to die or go to jail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 15 so is still a good time to find a therapist to help him.  Look for a therapist that works with sexual offenders (that's what they call me but I hate this word). Why? Well no one helped me to fix my problem, then they call you that and put you in jail and the worst part is with your label I'll always be dirty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not calling your son a sexual offender, he isn't one just like me. Why find a therapist that works with sexual offenders?  Because they will not judge your son like some other therapists do because they don't have experience with this type of subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm 22 years old now and if I was your son's age and my mom knew about my problem I would like my mom to be open and understand what I feel.  I don't know how to fix it, but I'm willing to try really hard to change.  (By the way now my mom knows and my step dad and my sister also know; they have really been a support in my life.)  So just be patient with him, don't judge, and remember that he told you something that is really hard to tell anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that he is not downloading child pornography / accessing any place that he can get images / videos of children in the age that he has an attraction to. Child pornography will not help.  It will just make the feeling worse and if you want to change you have to commit yourself to not go to the place where it is slippery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things that you need to know of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depression / no friends / fear to go to places like shopping malls / thinking of suicide.  That is what I felt most of my life when I was 13 to 18 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depression: staying at home a lot eating, playing video games, surfing the web, not doing exercises, missing school. Not going to places where you can see another kids in both young and older ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suicide all the time, I never tried to kill myself, but I always though that the world would be better if I killed myself. Or why god choose me to be like this and not someone else. Some suicidal thoughts that I had like buying a gun and shooting my head, freezing to death, taking some medicine like a lot until I overdosed, or asking a friend to shoot me in the head.  I never used drugs and I don't drink, but I though of using drugs until I die or don't feel in my normal state of mind anymore, drown myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So be aware of that and help him out, just make sure that you are open to help him because this path is not easy but he still young so maybe tell him some stuff that I talked about here, so he can be aware of it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people are recommending forums.  I do not recommend any of them.  From my own experience, in some of these forums there is a lot of people there that they don't want to change.  Some people may try to manipulate you to do bad things and don't let your son join any of this forums.  If it is for yourself so you can find a better way to help him it's fine, but if it is for him to join, just don't.  There are a lot of people in these forum that are willing to help you, but there are a lot that just wants to do bad things.&#xA;Even though your son feels attracted to young kids a forum like that can be a way of other people trying to manipulate your son. So just be careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Virped, I do not recommend.  A lot of people there don't want to change (I tried to get help at this place and they banned me saying that I couldn't change) and let's face it, the one with the name virped was really rude to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 2 hours I was able to find an article that I read a while ago about a 19 year old pedophile, and I feel exactly like him&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's an audio on sound cloud:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://themamabeareffect.org/1/post/2014/04/a-message-from-a-19-year-old-pedophile.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://themamabeareffect.org/1/post/2014/04/a-message-from-a-19-year-old-pedophile.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://soundcloud.com/this-american-life/522-tarred-and-feathered-act-two-help-wanted&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://soundcloud.com/this-american-life/522-tarred-and-feathered-act-two-help-wanted&lt;/a&gt;   &amp;lt; listen to this audio.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any questions let me know. I'm glad to help people in the same situation and I hope some day we will have a better way to be helped without going trough the system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13752" LastEditorUserId="4501" LastEditDate="2015-02-23T20:28:33.473" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T20:28:33.473" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18787" CreationDate="2015-02-23T06:40:55.753" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Morals starts with habits, and a child starts forming habits the moment they are born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they cry and get everything they want, it doesn't necessarily give them a particular moral rule, but it will affect how their morals will end up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13754" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T06:40:55.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-02-23T08:16:19.833" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your son is a pedophile that's simply part of who he is. There's not much to really do, other than give him the emotional support he needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just know that this isn't something that can be &quot;fixed&quot;. A person's pedophilia is unchangeable as far as modern science is aware. Also know that he is no ticking time bomb that is destined to hurt people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly advise against seeing a therapist unless absolutely necessary. Therapists are too eager to report pedophiles because they do not understand the condition and assume that because a person has sexual attraction to kids that they are a danger to children. There is no place offered by society to anyone who is known to be a pedophile. If your son is exposed he may become the target of harassment and may have a difficult time getting a job. Even if a therapist does not report your son to the police, they will not be equipped to treat him because there is absolutely no understanding or training in the mental health field on how to handle a person who is a pedophile but has not harmed any children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Virtuous Pedophiles is a good website for your son to get in contact with. It is full of good people who can provide support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should feel confident as a parent since he is able to open up with you about this. This isn't something that most ever feel like they can discuss with anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13756" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T08:16:19.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-02-23T11:41:12.950" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I want to commend your son for his bravery in telling you about his attraction to young boys. Trust me, it takes &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt; of courage to do something like that. I also want to congratulate you for having built this amount of trust that he felt he could tell you something so difficult to confess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I discovered I was sexually attracted to boys when I was still a boy myself, and roughly a the same age as your son I realized that the boys I was attracted to were much younger than me. However I never felt that this was something I could ever tell anyone, let alone my parents. So consider yourself blessed that your son has entrusted this secret to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is still young and his sexuality could maybe evolve. His &quot;age of attraction&quot; could continue to grow with him. Perhaps this is just a phase. But I don't want to give you false hopes, and don't give yourself false hopes either. By 15 most people's sexuality is pretty well established, so what's most likely is that your son is indeed a pedophile. This is something that is very hard to cope with, but it's not the end of the world. Your son can still have a meaningful and fulfilling life ahead of himself. Many pedophiles can build successful relationships with adults, get married and have a family and a good job and be happy. For instance, I am married and have kids, and my wife even knows about my attraction to boys, but she also knows I'm a good person and I would never hurt a child, let alone my own. She accepts me for what and who I am, she loves me and supports me. It is also possible to be happy without having a partner or getting married.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important that he realizes a few things. First, no one chooses what they're sexually attracted to. Just like heterosexual men don't decide one day to be attracted to women or gay men don't decide one day to be attracted to other men, he did not decide one morning to be attracted to younger boys. One's sexual attractions are something that are simply discovered as one starts to develop their sexual identify and to have sexual feelings. In that sense pedophilia is nothing more than a sexual orientation like any other. Of course, the difference comes when considering the consequences of acting on that attraction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, being a pedophile does not make him a bad person, or a &lt;em&gt;monster&lt;/em&gt;. He did not decide to be a pedophile. He did nothing wrong to be the way he is. There is no reason for him to be ashamed of what he is or for him to hate himself. The best way you can show him that is by showing him how much you love him, every day. Don't let him ever feel ashamed of the feelings he has towards boys. Don't let him internalize all the hateful comments he will inevitably hear about people like him from the outside world. They can be very devastating, so he'll need all your support to not fall into self-loathing or depression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, he is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a ticking time bomb. He is not destined to act on his feelings and ruin a child's life. He needs to understand this, no matter how much society wants to tell us that all pedophiles are terrible child molesters. This is simply not true. It is perfectly possible to live your life as a pedophile and never have sex with a child, like most pedophiles do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful with talking to a therapist. Especially if he has already viewed child porn. New mandated reporting requirements in some states dictate that if someone admits to having viewed child pornography they must be reported to the authorities, even if they admit it precisely because they want help to stop. If he has, he needs to stop right away, and realize just how wrong it is. But at the same time he will need to find other ways of expressing his sexuality that don't involve actual children. Fantasizing in his own mind is the safest way for sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Virtuous Pedophiles is indeed a great place to find support from other pedophiles. Unfortunately, your son needs to be 18 before he can join the forums. It is unfortunate that a site like VirPed has to be worried about what can be said if there are underage members talking to other pedophiles in the forums, even if said underage members are only trying to find support for their own struggles. But given the climate of pedohysteria that we live in, it is also understandable. However, VirPed is not only for pedophiles. We have non-pedophile members. Researchers, journalists, and also family members of pedophiles. So if you want to check it out I would recommend you go to &lt;a href=&quot;http://virped.org&quot;&gt;http://virped.org&lt;/a&gt; and fill in the contact form.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you and your son best of luck. You'll be in my prayers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13758" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T11:41:12.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18763" CreationDate="2015-02-23T16:27:38.400" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I do not have parenting experience relating to the issue, I do have experience being the kid here.  I was the kid that tested well but sometimes couldn't be bothered to do homework.  It wasn't that I couldn't do the homework.  It just bored me to death.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I was in AP Chemistry in high school with a teacher that was renowned for being incredibly good but incredibly hard (His class was harder than my college chemistry classes).  I remember getting homework that would have 20+ problems to do and would take hours to complete.  It wasn't hard, just incredibly tedious.  I learned everything I needed to and could ace the tests easily.  As a result, I never saw the point of doing the homework because it didn't seem to help and was just a waste of time.  As you can guess, my overall grades weren't as good as they could have been.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was taught growing up that sometimes we have to do boring things and that that is just part of life.  I just had to start applying that lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the short version is that your son may be bored and needs to either a) find something more challenging to do in school or b) work on more consistently applying that work ethic that he gets when he first gets grounded.  I would work on helping him with the work ethic because that is a skill he will be able to use the rest of his life.  Finding new challenges is fun, but doesn't help with getting through the unavoidable, mundane, everyday things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T16:27:38.400" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18787" CreationDate="2015-02-23T16:37:19.483" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just like other developmental milestones, there is no &quot;magic age&quot; where a switch is flipped, and your child can suddenly understand moral issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Research on this subject with young children has shown that preschool age (3-5 years) is when children first start to understand the distinction between moral issues and social conventions&lt;sup&gt;[&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.umd.edu/HDQM/Killen-lab/documents/1999KillenSmenata.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;]&lt;/sup&gt;.  However, children may still fail to understand nuanced social/moral issues until their teenage years.  At this young age, children view morality as an absolute set of rules, rather than a fungible concept, which they begin to develop when they learn abstract thinking in their early teen years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children learn morality by example from parents and teachers, and through habits those authority figures instill in them&lt;sup&gt;[&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar_url?url=http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Judith_Smetana/publication/232431491_Parenting_and_the_development_of_social_knowledge_reconceptualized_A_social_domain_analysis/links/00463536a950c0c96d000000.pdf&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;scisig=AAGBfm0Wd8cHWIBALkS9cGoGzkFsU6pb0w&amp;amp;nossl=1&amp;amp;oi=scholarr&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;]&lt;/sup&gt;.  These habits start forming at birth.  A child as young as two may display &quot;moral&quot; behavior, but they likely cannot understand the distinction, and are simply engaging instilled habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your goal is to raise moral children, then, starting from birth, you should model moral behavior around them.  Initially, children will view all your behavior in the same light, but they will come to distinguish between morals and social conventions based on observations and habit.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Importantly, those behaviors that you are casual about will come to be seen as social convention rather than morality.  For example, if you lie to people in front of your child, but expect that your child will always tell you the truth, then your child will learn truth-telling as a social convention to be obeyed in certain social situation (between family members, but not necessarily outside the family), not a moral one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11389" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T16:37:19.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18775" CreationDate="2015-02-23T17:13:08.257" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife actually sent me this link on  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids1/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;raising smart kids.&lt;/a&gt; I think the principles here translate very well into your situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The focus of the article is on training yourself &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to tell your kids they're smart. Instead, it focuses on teaching them a method to figure out &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to accomplish things and seek greater challenges. Things like this for praise:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“Wow … that's a really good score. You must be smart at this.” We commended others for their process: “Wow … that's a really good score. You must have worked really hard.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read this article daily to remind myself how to be a better parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T17:13:08.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18799" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-23T17:23:47.257" Score="5" ViewCount="516" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know for sure if my 8-year-old son actually enjoys creating conflict, but he does it a lot. I could go on and on with examples, but one in particular prompted me to ask this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were sitting in the car waiting for the bus. His boots were covered in snow. When he put them up on seat in front of him, I asked him not to do that because the seat would get all dirty. A minute later, I noticed his feet on the seat again, and again I asked him not to do that. I moved the seat forward to give him more leg room. A minute later, I noticed his feet on the seat &lt;em&gt;again&lt;/em&gt;. At that point, I was irritated, and made it clear to him with my not-quite-yelling-but-stern-tone (&quot;How many times do I have to ask you to blah blah blah...&quot;). I moved the seat all the way forward so he couldn't reach it. He slid down out of his seat and attempted to wipe his boot on it. I don't remember what I said then, but I was hopping mad. He stormed out of the car. Commence terrible day...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have &lt;em&gt;no idea&lt;/em&gt; how to deal with this kind of behavior. When my son is being defiant, I feel like the only tool in my toolbox is reverse psychology. For instance, I don't want him to wipe his feet on the seat, so apparently I need to tell him to wipe his feet on the seat. Obviously this is a terrible solution. I feel totally helpless. What am I supposed to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11583" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-04T13:14:31.883" LastActivityDate="2018-12-04T13:14:31.883" Title="How do I instruct my openly defiant son?" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18799" CreationDate="2015-02-23T19:40:15.010" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I'd handle a situation like that very much like you did.  Trial and error, etc.  I think a very important skill to have in life, but especially when parenting, is self-control.  When our kids see us lose control, it forms an impression for them that &quot;its ok&quot; to lose control sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the one thing that I know I would have done after the second or third time, is ask the boy &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he keeps putting his feet up.  The assumption of not having enough leg room was a good guess, and my first thought too, but clearly it was more than that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think often kids just &quot;do things&quot; to see what happens.  If they do something, and you get mad, they're really just seeing consequences &lt;em&gt;without context&lt;/em&gt;.  You told him you didn't want him doing it because the seat would get dirty, but you also have to keep in mind that explanation doesn't give him a reason to agree with you or care.  I try hard to stay away from 'guilting' my children into behaving &lt;em&gt;properly&lt;/em&gt;, but sometimes that is the most efficient/viable method of getting them on the same page (ie, &quot;by doing that, you're making a mess that me or your mom has to clean up now&quot;).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that making the boy &lt;em&gt;actually think&lt;/em&gt; about what he is doing, to the point he has to use language to explain to another human, would be an important step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either he has a reason he has come up with for doing it, or he has no reason.  If he has a reason, discovering it  will help you in your efforts to convince him to not want to do it anymore.  Maybe it started out as just being bored, then seeing the reaction it gave you 'entertained' him.  Not necessarily a 'ha-ha' entertainment, but a &quot;ooh look what happens when I do this!&quot;  That feeling can be quite empowering/intoxicating.  Another plausible reason, not sure how big the kid or car was, but I know if your legs are too short for your seat and you're wearing heavy snow boots/pants (plus being caked in snow), the weight could be quite uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR:  Knowledge is power!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Better instruction comes from a better understanding of the root of the problem.  I'd ask more questions, from a genuinely curious perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10023" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T19:40:15.010" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18799" CreationDate="2015-02-23T20:20:34.940" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son needs to have direct, measurable consequences for such behavior. Typical punishments include time outs, losing privileges, natural consequences, and logical consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be hard to give time outs when in a car, but other consequences can be had. Your son is old enough to understand that current behavior can cause future punishments, so he could receive some logical consequences or loss of privileges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These examples apply directly to the situation (logical consequences):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's going to have to clean the car seat himself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the cleaning requires buying new cleaning supplies, he may have to pay for them (from current or future allowance/chores).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are generic examples that could apply to behaviors that don't have direct punishments (loss of privilege and logical consequences):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;15 minutes less screen time that night &lt;em&gt;per&lt;/em&gt; time you tell him to put his feet down&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has to do an undesirable (but reasonable) chore once he gets home&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can't go to a friend's house that night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It'll be important to be consistent. When your son is intentionally being disobedient, just for the sake of being obstinate, he'll need to have a consequence appear each time. The consequences should be delivered in an calm, assertive, matter-of-fact tone. &quot;If you put your dirty boots on the back of the seat again, then you're going to have to scrub it tonight.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially, you may not see immediate results. If he doesn't have any historical reference to work from, he might not believe you'll follow through, or he might not realize how not fun it is to scrub a car (or whatever punishment he receives).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you've given out consequences like this once or twice, he should understand that you'll follow through and the consequences are not desirable. However, he may still persist in unwanted behavior. So, you'll have to up the ante on the consequences, while still maintaining your cool exterior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going back to the dirty seat, for example, you could increase the consequence in the following ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has to clean it &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; pay for the supplies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He also has to clean the rest of the back seat (scrubbing/vacuuming, throwing out garbage)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has to go with you to the store to get the (boring) car cleaning supplies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has to do any/all of these things before he can do any fun activities, like screen time, playing outside, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also mentioned natural consequences, but they don't come into play easily with active behaviors such as this. An example of a natural consequence for obstinate behavior would be refusing to put his snow boots on, so he has to wear his regular shoes and get cold feet, or he delays leaving until he ends up being late to class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, it'll also be important to reward or recognize your son when he goes long periods of time without exhibiting the undesired behaviors. It's important that this feedback is sincere, not forced or condescending. I would also encourage you to give positive reinforcement to your son while he's doing any cleaning/chore punishments. That is, instead of saying things like: &quot;Scrub harder&quot; or &quot;You missed a spot&quot;, you can say &quot;You're doing a good job of scrubbing hard&quot; or &quot;You're doing a good job of working on that tough spot. Why don't you let me finish up that spot so you can work on X and be done sooner.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By being encouraging, even during his punishment, you'll help to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alleviate negative feelings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help boost self-esteem and work ethic&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Create an environment where he knows he's being observed and supervised, but not micromanaged and commanded&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T20:20:34.940" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18763" CreationDate="2015-02-23T23:01:55.773" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel like I should chime in on this. Not unlike what Becuzz said, I was that kid too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wasn't in gifted programs because I wouldn't take the tests. I didn't want any more work. I didn't want any more &quot;challenge.&quot; I just wanted to draw, make cartoons, and feel like I was doing something productive with my time. Making it harder wouldn't work because you can't force someone to see the point of school work that reads like it was meant for several grades below. AP is really no different because I had no sane application for AP math classes. As a kid, you won't hear any logical explanation if you have already decided it was useless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think I went to a single whole day of school in high school. I ditched pretty much every day, went home and drew cartoons (animated cartoons) - using my brother's computers and stacks of printer paper I would get myself. My parents didn't outright ban me from doing this because I could pass the tests and I think they could see what I was really doing with my time was not drug related, or even related to other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I graduated a year early. Didn't get honors or anything. I still don't know if I have a physical diploma because I never cared to pick it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ended up getting a job as a video game developer because of the animated cartoon I spent my entire high school career making. That later turned into a programming job. You can decide if that's success or fail because I'm still not sure. I do know that I am not where everyone said I would be just because I didn't care for school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bad grades don't mean doom. They don't mean you're stupid, lazy, unmotivated, or whatever else they want to conclude. I'm no expert and I am just one example. So take my story for what it's worth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say you should look closer at what your son is really interested in and see if you can devise a way to focus on that and concern yourself more with his progress in his passions. You can probably somehow motivate him in school with some clever psychology, but not like direct consequence. It would have done nothing for my parents to take my brother's computer as punishment. I was going to make cartoons one way or another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what your general relationship is with your son. but I was pretty happy with my family and didn't want them to be upset. They tried to confront me about the school thing but I always had a way of explaining it. But if they passively demonstrated some kind of burden they had to go through because of me, I just might have tried to deflect them from it. That's vague, but the idea is that your son may not want you to have a bad time. Maybe he doesn't know to what extent this is affecting you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-02-23T23:01:55.773" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18803" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-23T23:23:33.110" Score="11" ViewCount="5598" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old son is big(tall) for his age but he is very sensitive and can be a bit timid sometimes. Recently I took him to a soft play area and he was just playing and minding his own business when a boy about the same age was very nasty towards him. The boy was aggressive, shouted at my son, hit him and pushed him over. I observed the whole thing and it was completely unprovoked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son came out of the play area looking very upset, he was almost in tears. This is not the first time this has happened and I've tried to talk to him and tell him that he shouldn't let people hurt him or push him around and that he is big and strong enough to stop them, I've also tried to give him the confidence to deal with the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He went back to play again and the same boy sought him out again and hit him but this time my son stood up for himself, I was very proud of him and told him so but if I am completely honest he probably did go a little bit to far and got on top of the other child and pummelled him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I teach a 4 year old what is an appropriate amount of force to use to defend yourself and in what situation is it OK to do so. I don't want him to seek out confrontation or to needlessly get into fights but I am also not the kind of parent that wants him to just be pushed around or not know how to deal with a situation himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T09:28:35.073" Title="How to get 4 year old to stick up for himself but not turn into a bully?" Tags="|bullying|fighting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6317" CreationDate="2015-02-24T02:24:25.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Anchors for booster seats are only for convenience, not for safety.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In actuality, the LATCH system, as mandated in US vehicles from 2002 onward, supports a total combined weight of both child and seat of no more than 65 pounds. I found this information on Consumer Reports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the weight of your car seat or booster seat, this may mean &lt;strong&gt;the LATCH system only supports children weighing anywhere from 32-50 pounds&lt;/strong&gt;. In these cases, it's necessarily safer to use the seat belts to secure the seat, rather than the LATCH system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason LATCH was developed was not because it is inherently safer, but because it's inherently easier to secure the seats &lt;em&gt;properly&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Securing seats properly with the seat belt straps is more difficult, so more care must be taken in doing so. However, seat belts do not have the surprisingly low maximum supported weight that LATCH systems do. Seat belts are designed to safely secure adult passengers of various weights. For most five-point harness seats, it's also possible to secure them with the seat belt, instead of the anchors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Booster seats that only use the seat belt to secure the child, and don't secure the seat, gain no additional safety benefit from the LATCH system. &lt;strong&gt;It's there mainly for convenience: the child can get in the seat themselves without it shifting and it doesn't become &quot;free&quot; when not in use.&lt;/strong&gt; Children in this types of seats are more likely to outgrow or already by over the weight limits of LATCH systems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Byran answered, if the booster seat is not in use, it should be anchored with the LATCH system or stored in a safe area, in order to prevent it from becoming a hazard during a car accident. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Answer adapted from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18283/11394&quot;&gt;another answer of mine&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T02:24:25.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18807" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18809" CreationDate="2015-02-24T03:51:43.713" Score="5" ViewCount="30251" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old girl is most of the times very lazy, does not listen or stay focus. For example in the morning before dropping her to school, I prepare some homework for her to do and put it on the table. Then I ask her to finish the homework before 5PM. Out of 10 times she would do it 1 time. The other times she makes excuses, like &quot;I forgot&quot;, &quot;I was too tired&quot;, &quot;I am not feeling well&quot; etc.. This is just one example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When its time for her to do the regular school homework, it takes her forever to do do it. Something that should be completed in 30 minutes maximum will take 2 hours with a lot of stress and repeating things over and over again. For example if the homework is to read a paragraph and answer the questions, she will not read it and instead just sit there and will draw in her homework. If she wants, she can do the homework within 15 minutes, but that happens very rare. The same goes for cleaning up toys, doing the bed, throwing dirty clothes into the basket etc.. Her teacher complain about the same thing. She does not focus and if she does she usually does a good job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is very frustrating and I don't know what to do any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please give me some advise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13773" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T21:33:28.020" Title="Help 8 year old is very lazy and does not focus" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12680" CreationDate="2015-02-24T04:25:14.453" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most folks aren't extraordinarily dirty, so bath water won't get too nasty. Actually, the opposite issue occurs when the soap remains in the water/on your skin when you get up to dry off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A shower can use less water if you don't shave or brush teeth in it. You can buy a cut off valve for $5 at a hardware store to cut flow of water in shower if you do to save water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shower can blast continual hot water on the skin which can strip too much oils if you get dry skin in winter. Soaking in a bath doesn't strip your skin oils as much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bath can be slow, but kids that don't know how to shower can stand in there wasting all the hot water. In a tub, you can at least regulate how much water is dispensed for your kids to use. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Japanese are big proponents of baths and water rinsing. It keeps the skin from getting to stripped from continual hot water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's pro cons to each, so you have to decide which angle you're concerned with (health, water conservation, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13774" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-24T07:10:07.907" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T07:10:07.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18807" CreationDate="2015-02-24T06:54:46.137" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your 8 year old doesn't sound like she's lazy or unfocused; she sounds like an average 8 year old. For young children, play is the work of life. Now she needs to add school work to that list of things that are her work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most kids don't have a natural sense of self-discipline; it's hard work and not very rewarding. Kids have to acquire self-discipline with parental help. That's part of your job as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, though, this is stressing you both out, so here are some ways you can both get back on track.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't fight or nag over schoolwork.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just don't. It's frustrating for you, and empowers her to divert your energy in a manner that gets her out of doing homework. Kids can cast all kinds of bait out there (it's normal). Don't take it. If you need to have discussions about respect, feelings, desires, frustrations, etc. - and everyone should get to express these things in a loving and trusting relationship - do it sometime other than when homework is supposed to be getting done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Set up a specific time for homework.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Figure out a time that suits your child and you/your family, write it out and post it on the refrigerator. Then stick with it. Maybe after a brief relax and snack after school/before dinner/after dinner, with a bathroom break &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; it starts  (just not before bedtime).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework and also that there is free time. Ten minutes of homework per grade level is the recommended norm, so at grade 3, she should have no more than ~30 minutes a day. That's reasonable and doable (hopefully for both of you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On no homework weekdays, consider keeping that time for quiet time where she can read books or do other non-technology learning things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sit with her while she does her homework.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most young children require a parent's help getting started, and need help staying focused too. It's perfectly OK. Also, sometimes fussing starts because a child is not confident about the work and feels anxious. In this case, do her homework with her to see if she understands how to do it, or feels particularly stressed over some aspect of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if she isn't, at first spend the whole time sitting there. After learning what her assignment is, work out the first problem or two (or listen to her read the first few sentences) to make sure she understands the work at the level that's expected. Then read a book. (This also reinforces that reading is important both as a child and as an adult.) &lt;em&gt;Studies have shown that the best students are the ones whose parents spend the time involved with their schoolwork.&lt;/em&gt; As she learns to do her work, you might be able to leave her alone for longer periods (this earns her rewards, too!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have a predetermined, clear, reasonable list of rewards and consequences.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be discussed and negotiated with your child at a different time, even over ice cream! But be specific. When she finishes her homework, she gets to do things she likes to do. A video game, a TV show,  read her a story, time outside, having a friend over, etc. Work on this with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A sticker chart for bigger rewards is good, too. A week of doing her homework without fussing/within the allotted time/whatever is most important to you should earn her 'big girl rewards': a long board game she loves on the weekend, an outing to the park/swimming pool/movies/bowling/a cookie-baking session, etc. Four weeks without fussing/etc.? A sleepover for her friends with pizza, ice cream and a movie is nice (something special for her), a trip to the beach, a shopping day, etc. Let her learn that good things happen as a result of complaint-free homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consequences for not doing homework: she doesn't get to do &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; of those things until her it is finished. If she holds out all evening (her choice up to a point; don't argue), the next day, she gets to try again. Don’t take away privileges for more than a day. If you do, she'll have no incentive to do better the next day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if she starts fussing? Don't engage. Use a timer for homework, and stop the timer if she starts complaining (unless she's asking for help with something). If it goes on too long, a short time out (no toys or other activities) might be in order. Start it again when she returns to her homework. No sticker for that homework session.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Praise all effort.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praise effort - holding back from complaining, sitting quietly, working on solving problems, etc., rather than criticize lack of effort or bad attitude. Sincere praise for things she's able to control - trying, sitting quietly, not complaining, getting it done on time, etc. - is very helpful and empowering for children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try challenging her from time to time.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See how long it takes her to get her homework done on average. If you see her dawdling, you might offer her a reward for extra effort form time to time, e.g. for every minute that she gets it done earlier than 30 minutes, she might get, say, an extra minute or two of computer time, story time, or even to stay up an extra few minutes. Sometime, as she's getting better at doing her work on time, you see if she wants to try to beat her best score. Keep it light, though, and pressure free, and make sure her answers are correct!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry this is so long. I do wish you good fortune in working with your daughter to teach her responsibility, and the rewards of doing well in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T06:54:46.137" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18803" CreationDate="2015-02-24T07:15:15.350" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Realistically, you can't. Your son is four. A four year old doesn't have the brain development for conflict resolution entailing the use of carefully applied physical force. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son doesn't need to learn how to physically defend himself at this age, or learn to physically deter aggressors. He needs to learn that he can trust the adults charged with his care to intervene on his behalf when situations are beyond his ability to handle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're in the immediate vicinity, observing these situations. When you see it happen, you should be protecting your son. You have no way of knowing how far it will escalate. Some light pushing or hitting can be normal for young children, but outright aggression can be unpredictable. It's your responsibility to intercede and prevent your son from receiving or causing physical harm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After checking your son to make sure he's okay, physically and emotionally, you should explain to him that what the other child did was not okay. If no adult is saying anything to the children while these things are happening, then he's going to assume that getting pushed around or pushing people around is the status quo. Instead, he needs to learn that it's aberrant, unacceptable behavior that won't be tolerated, even if he can't defend himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also address the other child directly. You can tell them it's not okay to hit people, or your son. This should be said in a calm, collected manner without any hint of hostility. Nothing more needs to be said. The kid will get the picture. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By actually approaching your son, you may signal to the other child, or their parent(s), that what has happened was not okay. The other parent may be mortified and resolve the situation by addressing their child directly, which could lead to a more beneficial resolution: the aggressive child being disciplined for their misbehavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may run into parents that get defensive or hostile if you get near their child. Typically, a calm, peaceful demeanor smooths things over. It's hard for a hostile or argumentative person to seem that they're in the right, even to themselves, when the other person stays entirely level-headed and reasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying to teach your son to handle it physically isn't the solution, as you've seen. In your example, your son turned into the aggressor. He could have then hurt the other child, leaving you (and your son) legally liable for the any harm. The situation could have gone the other way: the other boy could have been more adept at fighting, and taken your son's retaliation as a reason to escalate. Your son may have gone from receiving mere emotional bruising to being the victim of a pummeling himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your son to learn to handle these situations with physical responses, that's your prerogative. However, I would urge you to wait a few years before putting that burden on him. Right now he needs to have his trust reinforced, and see examples of positive, effective, non-violent conflict resolution. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T07:15:15.350" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18811" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-24T07:46:52.487" Score="39" ViewCount="58215" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and i have differing opinions on this. I don't believe in the term 'spoilt'. I would be very happy if my daughter was 'spoilt' in the sense that she expects to be treated with the highest possible respect and love and affection in all her relationships. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it would not bother me if she think she is special and unique (that's exactly what I want her to think). Mother's face is a mirror for the baby - through the mother's reactions and attention, the child learns that she is a lovable and valuable human being. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I spend all my time with my baby when she is awake. I play games with her, I smile, and laugh, and I never ever let her cry. I rush to pick her up immediately, even if it's the middle of the night, I force myself to get up, no matter how tired I am (I admit it's hard sometimes, and I do let her cry for 10-20 seconds sometimes, but never more).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13775" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-24T06:33:45.407" LastActivityDate="2018-09-27T13:02:34.380" Title="Should you pick a baby up everytime it cries?" Tags="|crying|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-02-24T08:15:04.080" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You can not spoil a young baby.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Being born is a very discomforting experience: the world is cold and full of harsh lights and loud noises. The only comfort you know as a baby is being fed or cuddled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, when babies grow older and develop, they discover new things all the time, which they do not understand and might confuse them, also leading to discomfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At such times, it is comforting for the baby to know there are people taking care of her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess that at a certain age (after a year maybe), you will find out when the baby is no longer crying for discomfort, but only for drawing your attention. At that moment you can draw the line for yourself. Almost every parent will be able to distinguish between a cry for help and a cry for attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11938" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-24T06:37:09.850" LastActivityDate="2017-01-24T06:37:09.850" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18807" CreationDate="2015-02-24T08:19:37.067" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is quite possible that your daughter is not challenged enough in school and therefore is not motivated to perform repetitive homework that might be too easy for her.&#xA;I would advise you to have her tested. A lot of highly intelligent children are underachieving, because they quickly get demotivated when schoolwork is too easy for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11938" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T08:19:37.067" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-02-24T09:18:24.327" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;We carry lots of evolutionary baggage with us. For millions of years, children have been sitting on their mothers' hips all day. Lying around somewhere on their own for a lengthy period of time would mean they had been left behind in the high grass of the savanna. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way for children to survive this would have been to be loud enough to be heard by their mothers, and for the mothers to be eager to find and pick up their children. A couple hundred years of civilization, and a few decades of strollers, won't change this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So follow your instincts and pick up your child. These instincts match with those of your children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-24T06:37:47.543" LastActivityDate="2017-01-24T06:37:47.543" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-02-24T09:19:56.053" Score="80" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies cry. Maybe it helps to know what an infant's 'normal&quot; crying pattern is. Fuss/cry durations peak in the first 2 months (peaking average: 6 weeks), are highest in evenings, and decrease approximately 50% by 12 weeks of age. So, the first two months are the worst. Also, not all infants are alike; some are very compliant, some are very persistent, and there's everything in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In 1972, two researchers at Johns Hopkins, Silvia Bell and Mary Salter Ainsworth, wrote a seminal parer on infant crying (&quot;Infant crying and maternal responsiveness&quot;) that challenged the (predominantly male espoused) idea that quick response to an infant's cries led to &quot;spoiled babies&quot;. Further research has supported their conclusion that prompt maternal response to infant crying led to &lt;em&gt;less crying&lt;/em&gt; and better language and communication development by the end of the first year. Form the abstract:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...consistency and promptness of maternal response is associated with decline in frequency and duration of infant crying. By the end of the first year individual differences in crying reflect the history of maternal responsiveness rather than constitutional differences in infant irritability. Close physical contact is the most frequent maternal intervention and the most effective in terminating crying. Nevertheless, maternal effectiveness in terminating crying was found to be less powerful than &lt;strong&gt;promptness of response in reducing crying in subsequent months&lt;/strong&gt;. Evidence suggests that whereas crying is expressive at first, it can later be a mode of communication directed specifically toward the mother. &lt;em&gt;The development of non-crying modes of communication, as well as a decline in crying, is associated with maternal responsiveness to infant signals.&lt;/em&gt; The findings are discussed in an evolutionary context, and with reference to the popular belief that to respond to his cries &quot;spoils&quot; a baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How, then, does this myth that letting a baby cry is good for the infant? It seems people confuse &lt;em&gt;cause&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;effect&lt;/em&gt;: they think that a quick maternal response (the &quot;cause&quot; rather than the effect&quot;) to a baby's cries trains the baby to cry more often. (Of course a baby will cry again. Babies cry. That's how they communicate. But they do &lt;em&gt;not cry more&lt;/em&gt;!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been debates in the literature as to exactly what &quot;secure attachment&quot; and other variables mean, but in general, the sensitivity to maternal response to crying and infant contentedness has a positive correlation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 2009 study agreed:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This study examined associations between mother–infant nighttime interactions and mother–infant attachment when infants were 12 months old. ...Mothers of securely attached infants had nighttime interactions that were generally more consistent, sensitive and responsive than those of insecurely attached infants. Specifically, in secure dyads [mother-infant pairs], mothers generally picked up and soothed infants when they fussed or cried after an awakening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever the belief, it is clear that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;human infant crying evolved as a primarily acoustic, graded signal, that it is a fairly reliable, if imperfect, indicator of need for parental care and that its primary function is to promote parental care-giving. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some pediatricians see evidence that if a baby's crying is ignored, the more compliant baby gives up, stops signaling, becoming withdrawn once realizing that crying is not worthwhile, and (maybe?) concluding that &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; is not worthwhile. The baby loses the motivation to communicate with his parents, and the parents miss out on opportunities to get to know their baby. The persistent infant (highest-need babies) don't give up, instead crying louder and escalating, making his cries more and more disturbing. This tends to upset parents, who see it as a power struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Sears recommends a middle approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A quick response when baby is young and falls apart easily or when the cry makes it clear there is real danger; a slower response when the baby is older and begins to learn how to settle disturbances on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However it is handled, I agree that is it not possible to spoil a young baby. When a baby is older and can be taught to self-soothe, it's more appropriate to respond to different cries differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/1127506?sid=21105437747221&amp;amp;uid=70&amp;amp;uid=3739864&amp;amp;uid=4&amp;amp;uid=3739256&amp;amp;uid=2&amp;amp;uid=2129&quot;&gt;Infant crying and maternal responsiveness&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14616730903016979#.VOw6MMbql0c&quot;&gt;Nighttime maternal responsiveness and infant attachment at one year&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9450.2004.00400.x/abstract?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&amp;amp;userIsAuthenticated=false&quot;&gt;Maternal sensitivity behavior and infant crying, fussing and contented behavior: The effects of mother's experienced social support&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/dev.1005/abstract&quot;&gt;An ethological analysis of human infant crying: Answering Tinbergen's four questions&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/why-do-babies-cry&quot;&gt;Why do babies cry?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T09:19:56.053" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12680" CreationDate="2015-02-24T13:44:02.203" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, from the purpose of trying to get clean, I would say shower.  Much less water is used, and you're not sitting in a soup of your oils, pruning up and just.. ew.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've known for a while that cold showers &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&amp;amp;ion=1&amp;amp;espv=2&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8#q=cold%20showers%20vs%20hot%20showers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;do a lot for physical health&lt;/a&gt;, and I'd even argue mental health.  Mental fortitude is &lt;em&gt;so&lt;/em&gt; important in life!  I like a warm shower when I'm tense or stressed, but even then after a few minutes I go back to cold.  Cold is just much more refreshing.  Wakes you up more than coffee will.  Improves circulation and mental alertness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't take baths, but I know for some (adults) they're quite relaxing with a book and music.  Asides relaxation, I'm not aware of any tangible 'benefits' to taking a bath that you couldn't get from a warm/hot shower.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10023" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T13:44:02.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18763" CreationDate="2015-02-24T13:54:02.500" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fifteen is not too old to be grounded, and it's very effective in some cases. However, it's a pretty high-level punishment, and can easily be ineffective if misapplied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother preferred grounding as a punishment (for a variety of infractions, typically not grades) and I was grounded probably 75% of the time from 15 until I left for college. It was a bad strategy on her part, and created a lot of resentment. Most importantly, &lt;em&gt;I didn't learn better behavior&lt;/em&gt; from being grounded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I say something very rude when told to do a chore. I'm in the wrong. I should be respectful and willing to contribute to my household. But if the punishment is yelling and not being allowed out of the house for yet another weekend, I learn that my mother is uninterested in my perspective and thinks taking out the garbage is more important than me having a social life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I apologize if this appears to be just a rant against grounding, that's not my goal -- I just want to outline why it becomes decreasingly effective. Keep it for extreme circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If dropping grades is directly connected to too much electronics time, playing sports, or hanging out with friends, then those &lt;em&gt;should be&lt;/em&gt; targeted. Bringing home grades that clearly do not reflect his best effort &lt;em&gt;is a problem&lt;/em&gt;. But if that behavior doesn't change after a quarter or semester of restricted sports, games, and friends, the punishment isn't actually teaching him anything. And outright eliminating these activities is almost purely about punishment, not about teaching better behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you've identified his problem to be more about disorganization, time management, and/or motivation, here are some possible ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have him do homework in a general room of the house with a parent present. (I prefer the kitchen, because that's where most of my early evening housework takes place.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he establishes a track record of staying on task, he can graduate to the living room with nobody else around, then eventually his bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Limit electronics to those required by the assignment (e.g. a laptop for writing an essay). No cell phones, no TV -- maybe radio or MP3 player for music, if he thinks that helps him focus.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Breaks for snacks, bathroom, or just taking a break are reasonable, and arguably very useful for teaching good work habits. Just don't let them last &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; long.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This can be an incredibly boring arrangement as a parent. Trade off with a spouse if possible. Bring reading or knitting or something. Feel free to mention (politely, not too sarcastically) that yes, you've got other stuff you could be doing, but you're invested in his success and want to help him stay on task.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Engage other adults in his &quot;responsibility&quot; drive. If he's interested in athletics, the coach can regularly ask him how grades and academics are going.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally, it seems that kids with afterschool activities (sports or clubs) are better at managing their time since they have less of it free. (Grounding can be moderately counterproductive in this respect, since it seems like there is SO MUCH time available with NOTHING TO DO, what's the rush to study?)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask what he thinks possible solutions are. &quot;Grounding is not working. Your grades aren't getting better. What can &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; do to change your homework problem? What can &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; do to &lt;em&gt;help you with that&lt;/em&gt;?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't offer ideas, just &lt;em&gt;wait&lt;/em&gt; -- silence gets increasingly uncomfortable and he has to start engaging in the conversation to get you to go away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider accepting B's and C's. He can still get into college with mediocre performance in high school, even if it won't be the college he's hoping for. &quot;University of Awesome? Well, you know their standards. It's fine, you'll still be able to get into Mediocre University if you really want.&quot; If he thinks you're exaggerating, an admissions officer from U of Awesome would probably be willing to discuss their minimum requirements. (As natural consequences go, this is pretty harsh -- but realistically, are you going to go with him to college and keep grounding him when he doesn't go to class? Study and work habits need to happen now.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If none of these really floats your boat, that's fine -- I am just guessing what may or may not work. Some other resources you might be interested in...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Discipline-Ideas-Tweens-Teens-32785823&quot;&gt;Skip the Grounding; Try These Teen Discipline Methods Instead&lt;/a&gt; (Popsugar) -- not a huge fan of some of them (making thrift shop clothes a &quot;punishment&quot; sends some strange messages), but it's a starting point to think of ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.empoweringparents.com/Why-Harsh-Punishments-for-Children-Teenagers-Dont-Work.php&quot;&gt;&quot;You're Grounded for Life!&quot; Why Harsh Punishments for Children and Teenagers Don't Work&lt;/a&gt; (Empowering Parents) -- the &quot;wait, talk, challenge, consequences&quot; sequence of punishment is useful.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/200911/effective-punishment-the-adolescent&quot;&gt;Effective punishment for the adolescent&lt;/a&gt; (Psychology Today) -- mentions the concept of &lt;em&gt;reparation&lt;/em&gt; (assigning extra work [community service, chores, etc.] as a consequence)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T13:54:02.500" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18818" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-24T17:17:21.103" Score="2" ViewCount="90" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old daughter will not sleep unless someone is in the room with her and when she doesn't want to go to sleep and finally does and wakes up and we're not in there she cries and doesn't go back to sleep at all.  I really want to break her of this routine but I'm not sure how.  Last night, for example, she would not go to sleep. She finally fell asleep at 1am and so I snuck out and went to my bed and she woke up at 1:30 and stayed awake all night.  I asked her why she wouldn't go to sleep and she said just because I don't want to.  Please help!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13779" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T17:17:21.103" Title="My 3 year old will not fall asleep without me in the room. How can I break this?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|crying|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2015-02-25T16:40:01.533" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-02-24T19:06:06.800" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Forget about spoiling or not spoiling. The actions you take now will affect how your child acts tomorrow, next week, next year, and beyond. How do you want your child to act as they grow and mature? What do you want your relationship with them to be like in the future? The more they come to rely on you to make everything better now, the more they will do it in the future. Is it important to you that they be independent, free thinkers? Then don't pick them up constantly. Is it important to you that they come to you first for everything? Then pick them up constantly. &#xA;In my experience raising 4 kids, what you do now WILL affect how your children act in years to come. Don't only think about immediate consequences when making decisions about how to deal with children. Think long term also. &#xA;Grandparents (your parents) seem out of touch and just OLD, when you're a young parent. Why listen to them? As you gain more experience as a parent, you may start to understand the wisdom they tried to share with you. They've raised kids - ask them their opinion. The value of this is that they also know you and can give you very personalized advice. It might drive you crazy, but ask them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13781" LastActivityDate="2015-02-24T19:06:06.800" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18820" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18827" CreationDate="2015-02-24T20:39:39.113" Score="7" ViewCount="1391" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is four months old. He is exclusively breastfed. During the first three months of his life he would dirty four to six diapers per day. It has been a month now that he is not regular anymore. I had to stimulate him with glycerin suppositories when he had very painful moments (usually once a week). His stools are looking harder and harder. What can I do for him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13782" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-29T12:38:03.410" LastActivityDate="2018-08-29T12:38:03.410" Title="How to help a breastfed, 4-month-old child with constipation?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|pain|constipation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-02-24T23:06:30.783" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is very little to add to the excellent answer by anongoodnurse, but I will try anyway and play Devil's advocate in the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It depends. In some cultures there is a tradition to let babies cry, and this is not necessarily a stupid tradition. In my opinion it's an immoral one, but that's not the same thing. Whether it's also stupid depends on what you want to achieve. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to raise a tough, somewhat psychopathic child who will make an excellent soldier.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you want to make sure that your child will respond to caning by obedience rather than rebellion.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you are already planning in detail a career for your child as a successful and rich lawyer or estate agent.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In all these cases it sounds like a 'good' idea to start the child abuse early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Under the Nazi regime in Germany, every mother received a copy of the book &quot;Die deutsche Mutter und ihr erstes Kind&quot; (&quot;The German mother and her first child&quot;) by pulmologist(!) Johanna Haarer. It advised to let even small babies sleep in a separate room and not to enter it at all during the night to prevent spoiling. Obviously this led to a lot of heartbreaking crying -- but that was supposedly good training for the child's lungs!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter initially had a lot of digestive trouble and consequently cried a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt;. Somehow I doubt that she would have turned out such an all-round intelligent, communicative and empathic child if we had made it a habit to ignore her for longer than absolutely necessary. Fortunately I had taken the first two months free from work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the first weeks it took three adults (me, my wife and my mother-in-law) working in shifts, and even so none of us got much sleep. But it was definitely worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, when my mother-in-law got her first child she had had to ignore similarly insane advice that was printed in East Germany: Feeding babies strictly after the clock.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13408" LastEditorDisplayName="user13408" LastEditDate="2018-09-27T13:02:34.380" LastActivityDate="2018-09-27T13:02:34.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-02-24T23:23:31.267" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies lack the necessary development to communicate by most other means, so to express that they have a problem they typically start crying. Luckily the checklist of, &quot;What can it mean?&quot; is pretty short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are they hungry?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are they tired?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are they too hot/cold/uncomfortable?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do they have a messy/wet diaper?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do they need some love/affection/physical contact?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I run through the list and haven't found a probable cause, then I'm cool with saying, &quot;Well, maybe my kid just needs to cry.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I honestly can't recall a time that any of my children (as babies) were crying and I couldn't find one of the above problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="176" LastEditorUserId="176" LastEditDate="2015-02-25T14:48:02.357" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T14:48:02.357" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18763" CreationDate="2015-02-25T00:03:25.713" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll throw my own experiences out there, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was homeschooled except for 6th-8th grade. I absolutely hated the public school experience, because most of the time there were things I was much more interested in doing than sitting at a desk doing boring things. Reading, for one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I also hated mathematics. Nobody could give me a good reason for why I should need to care  about math, and I hated Saxon math (the homeschool math curriculum of choice, it seems like.) When I got to be homeschooled again, I would drag my feet a lot when it came to math, and by the time I was 16 I think my mom pretty much gave up on trying to get me to do math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But at 16 I also took programming courses as the local tech college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was 21, I finally decided it was time for college (well, actually it was really more some prodding from my parents, but I didn't really have anything better to do). I got a 25 composite on my ACT, with an 18 in math. Had my math scores been more in line with the rest of my scores I would have been closer to a 30 composite. That really wasn't anything new, though. My reading comprehension had always been in the high 80s-90 percentile. Science behind that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So arguably I had really sucky grades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, when I started college I decided to give math a shot and discovered it was &lt;em&gt;fun&lt;/em&gt;. I got almost all A's in my math classes, including Cal I, Cal II, and Linear Algebra. I ended out graduating with honors, even after taking 25 credit hours my final semester.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem? As a teenager I had a hard time seeing the benefit of learning things, like math. I didn't find it interesting, useful, or exciting. And honestly there are very few things about math that have been applicable to my life as a software developer - besides the general ability to take a look at a complex problem and break it down into less complicated parts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect that your child has the same issue - they're not motivated because they don't see how X, Y, or Z would be useful to them in &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; life, the things that they want to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What motivates your child? What causes their eyes to light up? What kinds of things do they do when they don't have anything to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Figure out how these other principles apply. And if you can't figure out how they apply, be honest. Just say, &quot;You know what, being able to do multi-variable calculus probably &lt;strong&gt;won't&lt;/strong&gt; make life as a fast-food clerk any better. But what it &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; do is show your employer that you will still do things that need to be done, even if they're not the exciting parts. And until you can pay your own bills, this is what we expect out of you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, ask what they need, and &lt;strong&gt;listen&lt;/strong&gt;. Another anecdote - my mom used to get so frustrated because she would ask me to do something and I'd say, &quot;Yeah, uh-huh, sure,&quot; and then go right back to playing my video game or chatting with friends. Until I realized that what I needed was just a self-imposed time limit. So I had her ask, &quot;The garbage needs to be taken out. When can you do that?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By asking &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; when, it forced me to engage and make a decision. Sometimes I would say, &quot;I can do it right now.&quot; Other times I would say, &quot;Uh... I'll get it done by 3:30, I'm in the middle of this thing.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She listened to what I needed, and it made her life better because she didn't have to continually hound me, and it made my life better because she wasn't continually hounding me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="176" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T00:03:25.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18825" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18836" CreationDate="2015-02-25T00:19:25.120" Score="21" ViewCount="42376" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a very active 4-year-old.  She has a will of her own though with what she wants to do, and there's one thing in particular that I find I don't know what to do: &lt;strong&gt;she's constantly running away&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not that she's being mistreated or wants to &quot;get away&quot;, she just wants to do her own thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can be out for a walk, and we try letting her walk by herself instead of holding our hands, she's off running where she wants and won't listen to us to come back. Sometimes when doing this she'll find somewhere to hide, and think it's a game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The new behavior (as of about a week ago): She can be playing in our fully fenced backyard, and on a whim, she'll &lt;strong&gt;climb over the fence&lt;/strong&gt; and run over (and right into) a neighbor's house to play. So far it's consistently been one neighbor house that has children of a similar age, and they've started texting us when it happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we catch her and ask her why, it's always &quot;because I wanted to&quot;. We ask her &quot;are you allowed to run away / climb the fence / etc&quot;, she always answers &quot;No, I get in trouble!&quot;. We've tried explaining what the punishment will be next time (we ask her afterwards and she remembers) - it's ranged from no TV to no treats/desserts to favorite toys being taken away.  All have had no effect on her behavior.  She hears what we're saying and can paraphrase it back to us, but either she doesn't care, or constantly forgets when she's &quot;in the moment&quot;, and then remembers when the punishment comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short of constantly holding onto her and watching her like a hawk (to which she often ends up in a screaming fit), we are at our wits end.  &lt;strong&gt;What can we do?&lt;/strong&gt; Has anyone else had children go through a phase like this and have possible options for addressing this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(More context - she has an older brother (6) who did not go through this kind of phase; at 3 he understood he could go up ahead a bit, and on walks would always wait at the curb/lights. This is not our first child, but is our first time dealing with this problem.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3122" LastActivityDate="2022-08-11T06:22:39.883" Title="How to stop my preschooler from constantly running away" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-02-25T06:48:43.110" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infant babies do not cry unless they need something. Food, changing, tired, get-up, burping... and the like.  If they are crying in night you can wait a little longer each week or so to feed and change, without much ado, and put them back to bed. When you know that they are well taken care of and they are just being fussy, you can take more time to pick them up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies learn self-soothing tecniques, and independence in this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13787" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-02-26T07:32:26.857" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T07:32:26.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18820" CreationDate="2015-02-25T10:33:48.790" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our breastfed baby had the same pattern - a marked decrease in number of bowel movements, although not as extreme as once per week, but more like every 2 or 3 days. Their digestive systems developing rapidly at this age to get ready for solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;La Leche League also makes note of this pattern:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It is also normal for a breastfed baby older than six weeks to have only one bowel movement every few days. Some healthy babies will have only one bowel movement a week. When bowel movements are less frequent, they should be more profuse in volume. As long as the baby is gaining well, wetting sufficiently, and is happy and content there is no cause to be alarmed by infrequent bowel movements, and it is not necessary to give the baby a laxative, fruit juice, or any other &quot;helpers.&quot; In fact, attempting to force bowel movements can have harmful consequences to your baby. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/bm.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.llli.org/faq/bm.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I would talk to your baby's pediatrician just to be sure, but relax and don't worry as long as he's gaining weight well and doesn't seem distressed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T10:33:48.790" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18825" CreationDate="2015-02-25T10:43:53.493" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she already knows she's not allowed to run away, but the urge is stronger than the consequences, from her perspective. I would set up a safe way for her to satisfy her urge for &quot;getting away&quot;, that might reduce her need to do it when it's less safe (when out and about).  For example, put in a play house in the backyard that is only for her. Invite some of her friends over and put on a big game of hide and seek or sardines. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Sardines&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Sardines&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T10:43:53.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18829" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-25T11:53:40.780" Score="3" ViewCount="5604" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our little girl is 3.5 months old. She's eating like 30ml - 90ml per meal and during the day it adds up to around 650ml.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're not sure if we should be worried about it. It doesn't really seem like she needs more and based on her weight (around 5300g) and age - everything points to the fact she should be eating almost double what she's eating now - during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's on combined diet - mother's milk and formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she's not sleeping - she's in a good mood, smiling, playing etc. The only thing we notice is flatulence - she really does fart a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our next step is to get a baby weight and start weighting her every day but I'm afraid that will cause just more insecurity and hysteria with me and my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13792" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-18T14:24:33.190" LastActivityDate="2018-08-18T14:24:33.190" Title="Baby eats less than it should - is it something to be worried about?" Tags="|infant|development|health|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-02-25T14:48:15.927" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I definitely wouldn't pick up a baby every time it cries, unless it's yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But seriously, depending on its age, you will kill yourself with tiredness teaching your baby that the way to summon Mummy is to start crying. Once your baby has learned this, you won't get less tired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's nice to start with, because a very young baby is just going to cry until you do something, but by the time your baby is 6-12 months old, s/he should be able to sleep through unless they're quite unusual. If you reach that point it may be worth consulting a sleep trainer or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And try to avoid people's advice that put &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; at the centre of it all (&lt;em&gt;no-one can train your baby to sleep better than you!&lt;/em&gt;) It's very flattering and seductive, and anyone listening would be out of their mind to contradict even obvious logical flaws such as this, because of the potential nonsensical argument that would generate, but it really isn't the case. Do your best to raise a good kid, regardless of how much help you need. And the more help (not advice) you get, the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example I had a hernia op as a baby. Some well-meaning person told my parents that they should never let me cry, in case the hernia came back. For a &lt;em&gt;year&lt;/em&gt;, my parents didn't let me cry, and I didn't sleep for a year. And neither did they. Then one night I was crying (obviously; I wanted attention) and they were so exhausted that they just couldn't get to me. Eventually I stopped crying, and from then started sleeping at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13796" LastEditorUserId="13796" LastEditDate="2015-02-26T07:42:25.367" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T07:42:25.367" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18829" CreationDate="2015-02-25T15:48:22.573" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not weigh her every day, as that won't accomplish much other than make you worry about little changes.  Children increase and decrease in weight by several ounces every day: remember those diapers you change 8-10 times a day?  Each of those has several ounces of formerly-baby weight in it.  Weight is very blippy (anyone on a diet who weights themselves daily probably can tell you that!).  If you do need to take frequent weight measurements, follow your pediatrician's advice on frequency, time, and method.  I would guess weekly is the most frequent you would need to weigh an infant of that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should be going in for an appointment in 2 weeks or so (4 month appointment), I would think, as shots are usually due around that time; if not, you should bring this up with your pediatrician.  Your daughter may simply be not all that hungry, and that's fine; maybe she's extra chubby and burning some extra baby fat.  Your pediatrician is the one person who can really tell you if she's doing okay, weight wise, and if you're keeping track of total consumption then you'll have a good bit of information to tell the pediatrician.  Other things you might be asked are how frequently she wets her diaper (to make sure she's not dehydrated) and the color of the urine, her sleeping habits, how she reacts to being 'done' with the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some potential causes of not eating very much; most of those have other symptoms, and your pediatrician can certainly address them.  The ones I would think about as a parent are if she has heartburn (GERD) or if it's possible she's allergic to something mommy is eating.  They both can have some correlation to flatulence if I remember correctly, depending on the specifics.  Heartburn usually means she cries after meals (as it causes her some pain).  Allergies are harder to pin down; you'd have to simplify mommy's diet and then pull in individual things to test.  Your pediatrician is the best person to help you with this, if it turns out to be a possible culprit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only other thing that strikes me as interesting in your comments is that she's almost 4 months old and eating 30-90ml sufficiently frequently to get 650ml total.  10 or so feedings a day (assuming an average of 60ml) is a lot for a nearly 4 month old.  Both of my guys by this point were eating something like 1x at waking, 3-4 times during the day, and 1x before bed.  5 or 6 total feedings, each of which was between 120 and 240 ml.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would talk to your pediatrician about whether it's appropriate to try and stretch her out - ie, cut down on feedings, and see if she'll eat more at those less frequent feedings.  This might help her eat more overall.  Parents often call it 'stretching out her stomach' though I'm not sure that's physiologically accurate.  I certainly wouldn't do this without talking to your doctor, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T15:48:22.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18203" CreationDate="2015-02-25T15:51:43.437" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son did not use whole sentences till the age of two. He said only the last syllable of particular word. We noticed that he is lagging behind in speaking as soon as he was one year old. I took him to speaking games and the therapist there advised me to speak with his pediatrician. At first, the pediatrician didn't take me seriously but when he was two she referred him to a speech therapist. The speech therapist's first question was: &quot;Did you check his hearing?&quot; Yes, we did. First time we did it, he was just one month old and they observed his eye movement when different sounds started. His hearing was afterwards checked every year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The speech therapist also ruled out any potential disabilities and conditions, like autism. If she had any doubt he would be referred to a child development specialist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the age of three he had a regular appointment with a psychologist (all children at the age of three have it). At that time he was still lagging behind and we continued with speech therapies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to say that nothing that speech therapist said or did we didn't already do ourselves. We spoke to him a lot, read to him a lot, played with him (games like memory, actually everything that we could buy and was age appropriate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was four he already caught up with others and had a vocabulary of a six-year-old or so the test results said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum it up: First consult his pediatrician, check his hearing, go to a speech therapist and see if any further referral is necessary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any irregularities in speech development should be taken very seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13799" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-09T21:24:35.810" LastActivityDate="2018-07-09T21:24:35.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18825" CreationDate="2015-02-25T15:53:50.223" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on the punishments you are applying (losing TV, deserts, etc.), it sounds like the punishments come long after she has misbehaved.  The punishment may be too far removed time-wise to trigger any sort of hesitation in her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since it sounds like she really hates the lack of freedom when you hold her hand, that can be a perfect logical consequence of her actions.  Before a walk have a conversation with her that might go something like this: &quot;Ok, we are going to go on a walk.  You can go ahead of us as long as you stay close and come back the first time I call you.  If you don't you have to hold my hand the rest of the walk.&quot;  She seems like a bright child and is very capable of understanding what is expected and what the consequences are.  Just make sure you follow through consistently.  The threat of having her hand held alone will probably not work the first time.  Or the second.  But after a few times of consistently doing exactly what you told her will happen, she will learn that 1) you mean it when you tell her not to run off and 2) it's not a game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistently applying an immediate consequence is what will win the battle.  Holding the hand of a screaming child won't be fun for either of you but it will get better as she learns that you mean business &lt;em&gt;every single time.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T15:53:50.223" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18825" CreationDate="2015-02-25T20:21:30.773" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me, this is where punishment-centric parenting doesn't really work well.  It is indeed difficult to come up with good, immediate consequences or punishments that are directly related to the action (&quot;Natural consequences&quot;-based punishments), and other punishments at this age don't usually work very well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see the issue as straightforward.  She doesn't understand that it is unsafe and inappropriate to go away from you or to go into a neighbor's yard.  If you teach her &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt;, she will stop doing it.  And yes, this is possible - at a much younger age than that, even.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My three year old and almost-two year old are given nearly free reign - we walk up the street without holding hands except at street corners, and my three year old reliably stops on every single corner if he gets a bit ahead of me (when it's me and the two of them, this happens periodically).  Occasionally he gets more ahead than I feel comfortable with, at which point I tell him that; he reliably stops when I ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, he's not a quiet child or a compliant child.  He's a rambunctious ball of energy who is very loud and runs around all the time, and in a safe environment like home he's a holy terror as often as any other child (or more!).  But we've taught him how to behave in these areas, because we gave him the necessary information, reinforced why he needs to do these things, and hold him to that level of responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this was easier to do as a younger child (ie, 1-2), and so for a 4 year old won't be as easy; but it should be possible.  This is largely what we do now (but adapted for 4yo reasonable limits).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;During walks down the street, before you go, make sure she knows what her boundaries are.  Those should be whatever you feel comfortable with, and undoubtedly should be more limiting until she's learned to not exceed them.  Tell her, explicitly, how far she may roam.  If that's 5 feet away, tell her that - and give her a stick or something that is that long.  If it's further than a reasonably sized stick, show her by standing that far from her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While walking, if she exceeds that boundary, remind her.  She probably won't be able to stay within it, in part because it's hard to judge distance even as an adult - as a kid it's very difficult.  Remind her, and if she immediately returns, that's the end of it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she doesn't immediately return, give her a second reminder, more like &quot;Okay, Anna, I need you to come closer now&quot;.  If that doesn't work, do something consistent with your other discipline - &quot;1-2-3&quot; or such - to give her a clear timeline to comply in.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Of course, this doesn't apply if she's in a dangerous or urgent situation (such as on the street, or continuing to run quickly away from you).  In those, physically retrieve her, then give her a chance to comply - for us it's typically one chance every 10 minutes or so (so a second running off 15 minutes later isn't a big deal, but 5 minutes later is).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In either of the above cases, let her know that a further issue will mean she needs to hold your hand for a while.  Don't put this as a punishment, though.  It's necessary for her &lt;em&gt;safety&lt;/em&gt;.  Explain why - she should be old enough to understand that being hit by a car is bad, that being lost is bad. Repeat this explanation each trip, and after the first time, encourage her to give you the reasons why.  My three year old can tell me why he shouldn't run off, and clearly understands it well.  He didn't at 1, but by 2 he started to understand, and was able to walk without holding hands.  (My second was even younger, but he's both more compliant and has a good example to follow.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to keep this in the forefront: this is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a punishment. This is doing what needs to be done to keep her safe.  If and when she can prove to be safe without holding your hand, she doesn't have to.  For my older son, this is usually a very short time: if he's running off, it's because he's out of control.  Once he is back in control, we let him go, assuming he doesn't immediately run off again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also should make it clear to her that as she proves herself capable of walking with you in control and within a reasonable distance, that distance will increase, because you'll feel safe with her being further away.  There are certainly times when my almost-2 year old doesn't get to walk without holding my hand, and some streets where he has to walk &quot;inside&quot; of me (away from the street) because they're too busy (though we plan walks to be on quiet residential streets whenever possible).  This will be less true as he gets older, and his older brother is much more free to walk on his own than he is.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the specific climbing into the neighbor's yard, the issue is the same - she needs to know why it's not okay, and she also needs to know how to make it okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would talk to her about why it's not okay; write out ahead of time all of the reasons.  There are two major sets in my mind: safety, and propriety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Safety: &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your job is to know she's safe.  As such, you need to know where she is at all times.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she leaves the house without you knowing, she could get hurt or lost.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Propriety:&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is illegal and improper to go into someone's house or land without their permission.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she gets hurt on someone else's land, that person may be held liable in some cases.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Someone could be doing something dangerous, like cutting down a tree or driving a car or playing baseball, and if they don't know she's there she could get hurt.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, find out why she's going over there.  Possible reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She doesn't have enough space in your yard to play in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The neighbors have better toys.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is playing with the neighbor's children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She likes climbing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first one may not be fixable, but you can make an effort to go out to parks more often.  The second? Get better toys (perhaps by selling the current ones to pay for them, or doing some chores or otherwise helping to make the money).  The third can be addressed by setting up playdates.  The last, get a playgym for your backyard, go to parks, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, you can let her know what she should do if she wants to go over there.  Instead of just going over (in which case it's a problem for reasons above), &lt;em&gt;ask you&lt;/em&gt;.  Tell her why you may or may not say yes - for example, you may need to call your neighbor and ask if it's okay to go.  Show her how to do this with your cell phone, so she feels in some control (but remind her you need to be involved).  Your neighbor may not be there.  Your neighbor may have friends over.  Make sure she understands the answer will sometimes be no - but also sometimes yes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if this doesn't help, you will need to restrict her leaving your sight until she can be trusted not to leave; again, this is for safety reasons, and not a punishment- just a fact.  If she can't stay inside the backyard without being watched, then she can only go out when you can afford time to watch her.  If she can't even stay in the house without leaving, then she has to stay in the room you're in; or get better locks for the doors that she can't operate (or get one of those chimes retail stores sometimes have that alert you when the door is opened).  This won't be easy for you, but there's not much you can do - except help her learn why it's a safety issue.  Then loosen the restrictions when it is safe to do so; don't make a big deal of it, just tell her you're going to let her outside today and remind her you need to know where she is if she wants to go next door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you want to encourage her to understand safety rules.  A child who knows why she needs to stay close to you or let you know when she is going next door will keep doing that as she gets older - and will not have the arguments as a teenager about telling you when she's at a friend's house, either.  Empowering her by giving her the tools she needs to understand why she should do what she does will pay off both now and in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T20:21:30.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18829" CreationDate="2015-02-25T20:54:18.667" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;From about that same age both my girls hated food and for the most part they still do. The pediatricians (if they're any good) will let you know if they're sliding down the weight expectations too fast. They'll suggest a whole regiment for calorie packing, which I suspect kept my girls from liking food because it does indeed alter the flavor of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developmentally my girls are totally fine. One is pretty much at the bottom of the percentiles for growth in every physical level but you would never know based on how she learns, plays, speaks, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they were younger it was a huge challenge to get them to drink even 9 ounces of milk or formula a day. They say babies should drink something insane like 32 ounces but I lost track of the suggestions because mine wouldn't come anywhere close. The doctors gave me probably a dozen calorie packing books even though I explained to them over and over that eating 0% of a 200% calorie packed meal is still 0 calories. After the years of battle, the general rule that babies won't let themselves starve seemed to be true. If it's not true, you will know it by their behavior, lethargy, and rapid decline in weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm no doctor or official source by any means. But from experience I can say all the trauma my wife went through fearing the doctors would confiscate the girls or medically intervene with G-Tubes or some other forceful way of feeding was unnecessary and even far from the reality we dealt with. If there's a reason to panic, they will tell you long before they resort to tubes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked for me, since I was the one feeding most of the time, was occupying them with different environments and experiences while holding them and holding the bottle. It would take 20 - 30 minutes per bottle and they would usually only get through 3 ounces before you could tell they were done with it. I would let them touch lights, curtains, go outside and touch trees, flowers, etc. Anything to get them off the subject of refusing the bottles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time they were about 1 1/2 maybe 2 years old they were pretty much reliable about feeding themselves, though to this day they still don't eat much. But the hype and hysteria surrounding feeding like this - that they will never eat on their own, etc, was not entirely true for us. Yeah, it was a long and absolutely horrible ordeal that is currently its own nightmare, it is at least tolerable and the girls are growing, learning, playing, speaking and being kids just as they should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what should you do? Hard to say because I don't know what you are currently doing. But you can try what I did and hold her in one arm, the bottle in another, and walk around getting her to look at things, touch them, go outside, or anything else you can think of that makes bottle time a fun time. Getting angry even once could reset that to bottle time being a really bad time. Happened to me more than once. I concluded these things because the suggestions from the doctors did nothing. Occupational therapy was a waste of time and money. Turns out just being close to my kids was what did it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck though. I would have to be institutionalized if I had to go through that again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-02-25T20:54:18.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18829" CreationDate="2015-02-26T01:03:48.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is really a supplement to @Joe's answer, which is quite good. The only thing I wanted to emphasize is that weight, not the amount of milk or formula she drinks, is what is important. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following is a sample of a growth chart (like your baby's doctor uses) which has two hypothetical patients charted: one baby represented by red marks (Baby R) and one by blue (Baby B).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/54mhD.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can see that baby R weighed 6 pounds 10 oz at birth, 7 pounds 3 oz at two weeks, 9 pounds 14 oz at 9 weeks, and so on. The important thing to note is that the weights are clustered along the same growth &quot;curve&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby B weight, meanwhile, is &lt;em&gt;crossing&lt;/em&gt; three &quot;curves&quot;. This is an indication that something is wrong and special investigation is warranted. This is fairly uncommon (and purely hypothetical for the purposes of illustration).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby doctor will be monitoring your daughter's weight. That's part of their job. Yours is quite hard enough without taking on extra worries. If your daughter is wetting and soiling normally, turns away food when she's full, and is behaving normally, she's very likely to be coming along quite nicely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you go to her 4 month visit, you can ask to see her growth chart to ease your worries. (Variations can be greater than shown and still be within normal limits.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-26T04:51:17.123" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T04:51:17.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18839" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18845" CreationDate="2015-02-26T04:50:12.073" Score="11" ViewCount="2373" Body="&lt;p&gt;I worry that my ten-year old son is developing (has developed) a mindset that will come back to bite him as he gets older. He is a very bright and active kid, but does not like to extend himself and frequently 'gives up' whenever things get difficult. We have exposed him to lots of different experiences that he could gain confidence from including sports (basketball, tee ball, swimming, surf club), intellectual challenges and fun activities (computer coding) but he often doesn't want to give them a go and if he can't be as good as he thinks he ought to be, he gives up or doesn't try his hardest. On the home front, he consistently fails to take any responsibility for himself and it is a daily chore getting him to tidy up after himself, get ready for school, walk the dog etc. We don't seem to be able to motivate him to enjoy these activities for the intrinsic satisfaction he may get and have tried most of the usual carrot and stick approaches including rewards and taking away access to electronics if he doesn't do his chores. We always try to talk to him but as soon as we start getting close to the bone, he shuts down and says &quot;I don't want to talk about my feelings&quot;. He has seen a child psychologist who has had similar difficulty in getting him to open up as he is a master at changing the subject or obfuscating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has an older sister with a disability and this may impact on his personality in some way, as he may think she is getting ore attention than he is but he won't discuss it with us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has always been very active but has always had difficulty regulating his own behaviour so that he frequently gets into trouble at school for being disruptive. He was diagnosed with ADHD/Anxiety a couple of years ago and is on meds for this but has also participated in sessions with a child psychologist. Is there such as thing as CBT for kids or is ten years old just too young?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is that if he doesn't learn to accept that you only get out of life what you put in and that sometimes, you just have to do what you're told to, he is going to miss out on a lot of opportunities and will become unfulfilled/depressed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for any input!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13805" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T21:18:44.867" Title="How do I motivate my ten-year old to take responsibility and to do his best?" Tags="|behavior|cognitive-development|motivation|anxiety|adhd|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18840" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-26T07:10:15.957" Score="2" ViewCount="273" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been practicing martial arts since I was a child. First I did Judo and when I was 20 I started Aiki-jutsu. Judo gave me self-confidence because I saw I was able to pull bigger children than me to the ground. However, as I grew, I saw that Judo (at least in the dojo I trained) was too reglamentary, I mean, it is excessively sport-oriented: you cannot put your hands on the opponent's face, you cannot kick nor hit him, etc... I looked for some more practical martial art and I ended up with aiki-jutsu (for the general audience, something similar to what Steven Seagal does in his films).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've already read &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1425/what-age-is-it-appropriate-to-start-martial-arts&quot;&gt;this post&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; that deals with the appropriate age a child can start doing martial arts, but my question focuses in &lt;strong&gt;what&lt;/strong&gt; martial arts are more practical and less olympic or exhibtion-oriented and at if those specific martial arts are appropriate for being learned at young ages (below 10).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11761" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-03-15T07:46:14.577" Title="Could you recommend some suitable martial arts to teach to a child for self-defense?" Tags="|sports|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18839" CreationDate="2015-02-26T11:16:31.843" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having an older sister with disabilities must be tough. I'm guessing that she takes up a lot of your time, and in that he may have learnt that the more he slacks off, the more interest you take in him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's one of these things that's just tough. It's no fault of yours; no-one in existence has the perfect upbringing and circumstances get in the way of that. You clearly love him and want him to do well and it must be tough to find time for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Studies show that there are many causes of ADHD symptoms, and almost all of them require no medication to resolve. In some Western countries, ADHD isn't a recognised condition due to the fact that there are many root causes of that kind of behaviour, and many of them are to do with trauma. Trauma sounds like a big word, but actually is just stuff that affects the child that they need to process (loose definition, but go with it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ADHD is often the &quot;goto&quot; condition to diagnose, whereas actually the child may just need to process stuff. In your case it may be that your son actually needs some help to process what's going on with his sister and the current family balance. It may be that he's worked out that if he slacks, or seems unmotivated, or complains, he gets attention. I am not an expert in this, but it saddens me when medical professionals actually try and save time by giving a diagnosis of ADHD when the child has some stuff going on that he doesn't understand because he's too little and just needs to process it. He needs help to understand his feelings and why he feels the way he does and what can be done to help manage them. Many adults don't understand their feelings, and there's no reason to expect children to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've probably explained many concepts badly, however check out work by Betsy de Thierry and the Trauma Recovery Centre, especially in this area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-02-26T14:46:36.603" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T14:46:36.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="487" CreationDate="2015-02-26T11:31:17.990" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ive been a single parent to a boy who's not my biological son.&#xA;I see it this way...I am his real dad as in 'The one who's loved him, raised him and has been and always will be there for him.&#xA;A father is biological not spiritual, as in 'I fathered the child', but this could just be a sperm donor or someone the child doesn't even remember.&#xA;As a dad...you'll have all the same problems as a&lt;br&gt;&#xA;father who is a dad. Just do the best you can. We all make mistakes along the way, but let love be paramount, and you'll be fine. It's not easy always thought is it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13808" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T11:31:17.990" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18843" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18846" CreationDate="2015-02-26T11:34:17.870" Score="11" ViewCount="26798" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a bit of a tricky one but here goes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm in my mid-twenties and (for various reasons) currently live at home with both parents, my 15 year old sister, and my 17 year old brother. I regularly help out with family stuff - morning/afternoon school runs and other &quot;taxi services&quot; in particular - and, especially as there is a bit of an age gap, feel like I'm in an 'authoritative' position a lot of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem is that both siblings can be very uncooperative, unpleasant and (in my sister's case) even rude or abusive at times, and there's a lot of friction whenever they need to do something they don't enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I completely understand that they're not my children, I'm not their parent and it's not my job to discipline them. However, I do still feel responsible for them in some ways and I do try to act as a role model for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also don't want to insult the effort my parents have put into their (and my) upbringing but I sometimes feel as though they get away with whatever they like and there are few to no repercussions for bad behaviour. This has been going on for as long as I can remember and it's really starting to cause me a lot of stress and upset. I cannot wait until I can leave home but financially I have no idea when that's going to be possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm often late for work in the mornings because they simply don't get ready for school in time (they're late regardless of who takes them in the mornings) and being the messenger for requests like &quot;come down for dinner&quot; or even &quot;it's time to wake up&quot; is usually met with aggressive arguments and sometimes swearing and vocal abuse from my sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few examples of their typical behaviour:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My sister rarely eats with the family at mealtimes and hasn't for several years now. If forced to she will be surly and uncommunicative, sometimes throwing tantrums, demanding to leave the table early, or simply storming off at some perceived insult. Usually she eats in her room or the sitting room and we put up with it because &quot;it's easier than having the argument&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My brother seems incapable of getting up in the morning. I have found a half-way solution in that I go into his room and keep pestering him until he gets out of bed and starts getting ready. This isn't fool-proof though as he has been known to get back into bed and fall asleep again when dressed. Am I wrong in imagining a 17 year old should be responsible enough to get themselves up in the morning?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Both siblings are frequently unhappy, tired or feeling unwell. Unsurprisingly, when they feel like this they're more likely to snap or become aggressively argumentative.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After having read some of the questions on the site, it almost seems like my sister is displaying many signs of Oppositional Defiant Disorder. She &lt;em&gt;hates&lt;/em&gt; school and her other brother, she's angry most of the time, is usually generally argumentative and can take offence at almost anything.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both siblings &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be absolutely wonderful if they're in the right mood, but that is rare. I'm becoming increasingly concerned they have learned behaviours and attitudes that mean they will struggle in later life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would love to talk to my parents about this but I just don't know what to say or what suggestions to make. Especially without hurting their feelings or implying they're bad parents. Both of my parents are under a lot of pressure and stress at the moment and neither of them deal well with confrontational discussions about these sorts of things which makes things doubly difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully this all makes sense!? I feel as though my siblings need to learn some self-discipline and become much more responsible for their actions and behaviours towards myself and others. However, I have no idea how to get them to cooperate and see this and getting my parents' help with this seems impossible. HELP! What can I do as a sibling to make everyone's life easier?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13469" LastActivityDate="2021-03-16T07:07:04.327" Title="How do I deal with rude or uncooperative siblings?" Tags="|discipline|teen|siblings|adult-child|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18844" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18843" CreationDate="2015-02-26T15:18:02.017" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to get delegated authority. Since you are doing things with them that the parents would do, you need to get the authority of the parents to complete the tasks smoothly. I'm glad you know that they aren't your children, but you're acting in the capacity of a childcare worker, so you need to have the authority to do that. Agree a set of consequences with your parents that you can apply to the kids if they are uncooperative and of course there's the &quot;Mum's asked me to get you to do X so if you don't do X I will have to let Mum know that you're being uncooperative&quot; and then mum must then back you up. If she doesn't, you have to step out of this role as ultimately if they don't listen to you then they could be at risk of harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T15:18:02.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18839" CreationDate="2015-02-26T15:57:56.510" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children with ADHD can be prone to depression, since much of the feedback or attention they get is negative -- either criticism for not focusing or trying hard enough, or a stressed parent pointing out that their lack of focus is now making everybody late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is younger, but has similar low motivation and poor self-esteem, as well as an ADHD diagnosis. Keeping in mind that ADHD is really a cluster of symptoms and what works for one boy might not work for another, here are some strategies that could help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Concentrate on positive statements and praise.&lt;/strong&gt; Children who have ADHD get used to feedback about how bad they are at paying attention. If they can't meet expectations, they internalize the message that they're just flawed, bad children -- whereas the reality is they just need to put in more or different effort than other kids. This can lead to a lot of self-blame and low self-esteem, and also to giving up easily. Trying a lot of activities might even lead to lower confidence and less commitment to practicing. &lt;em&gt;This is yet another activity I'm bad at. Why should I even bother practicing to try to get better?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for opportunities to praise even the littlest successes. Most importantly, &lt;strong&gt;make praise about the effort applied, not about the child.&lt;/strong&gt; Reducing the amount of criticism (even what we thought of as gentle and constructive) and instead praising good behavior has helped our son reduce his level of self-disgust. Especially for a child who's struggling with motivation and can't find a reason to put in effort, tying your praise to him showing motivation and effort can be helpful. Even just &quot;Thanks for setting the table when I asked,&quot; or &quot;I'm so pleased that you sat down and did your homework straight through, what a good effort&quot; -- the way my son's face just lights up at these moments honestly makes me feel terrible that he seems to be craving praise so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Watch closely for whatever it is that does capture his interest.&lt;/strong&gt; This doesn't need to be an organized activity (e.g. sports) or even necessarily a productive one (e.g. computer programming). It can be a favorite TV show or comic book or set of toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son can talk &lt;em&gt;almost endlessly&lt;/em&gt; about the characters and plot twists in Ninjago (a LEGO line of toys with an associated cartoon show), and we've generally encouraged this. It leads to parent-child LEGO building sessions, some interesting conversations about snakes (the bad guys are the Serpentines), and discussions about whether the bad guys are really &lt;em&gt;inherently&lt;/em&gt; bad (some of them have switched sides, etc.). I have absolutely no idea how this might ever be turned into a life's calling, but rather than really worry about that now, we're just supporting his passionate interest in something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be willing to remind gently and repeatedly&lt;/strong&gt; that something needs to happen. There are few things more annoying than being in a rush in the morning and going to your son's room expecting him to be dressed and ready, and instead finding him sitting on the floor in underpants and one sock reading a comic book. I used to have a &lt;em&gt;what the hell are you doing, we need to leave and you're nearly naked, we're going to be so late because of you&lt;/em&gt; response. I'm still working on transitioning to checking up on his progress repeatedly, and instead saying &lt;em&gt;Just wanted to remind you to get dressed&lt;/em&gt;, the second time taking the comic book and simply saying &lt;em&gt;I want to help you focus, I'll take this to the kitchen so you can grab it on your way to the car&lt;/em&gt;. He is capable of getting dressed quickly, just needs occasional reminders to stay on task and help removing distractions from the area if they're really overwhelming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have well-defined responsibilities.&lt;/strong&gt; Structure's important for any child, but moreso for those who struggle with attention and memory. Regardless, they are simply things that need to be done. We don't really tie basic chores (feed pets, set table) into any reward or punishment structure unless we notice a significant deviation from expectation, and we prefer sort of surprise rewards... &quot;I noticed that you took care of the dog every day this week without me reminding you. That's really awesome effort on your part, and I'm sure Spot appreciates the attention too. Want to go pick something out at the bookstore?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the conversation about CBT would be best had directly with his child psychologist. (It's not impossible, but she should have a more professional and informed opinion about it than me.) Bring your specific concerns about motivation and long-term depression up with her. To some extent your son should get to control the emotions he wants to discuss (or hide) in their sessions, but she can also help guide the conversation. Ideally, helping her understand his behavior will make the visits more productive and purposeful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, read all sorts of resources for ADHD children -- the Internet is full of ideas and suggestions, and as I mentioned what works for one child may backfire for another. The NIMH has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/index.shtml#part7&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Tips to Help Kids Stay Organized and Follow Directions&lt;/a&gt;. Another Answer (the Question was about a younger child, but still potentially helpful) I gave &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18560/4054&quot;&gt;has a list of resources at the end&lt;/a&gt;. In general, I've found tips for helping ADHD children to be useful even for non-ADHD children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T15:57:56.510" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18843" CreationDate="2015-02-26T17:15:23.710" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ultimately raising your siblings is your parent's responsibility, not yours.  Helping them out is a nice gesture, but eventually you will move out and they won't be able to depend on your help.  The solution depends a bit on how much of an obligation you have to help out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If part of your living-at-home arrangement is giving rides, etc. then you need to do as @DavidBoshton said and get authority and backing from your parents.  Your parents should respect you, your time and your feelings enough that they shouldn't leave you hanging out to dry when you have to deal with your siblings' bad attitudes.  You are just as much their child as your brother and sister are and are just as deserving of their respect and consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your help is more of a courtesy for your parents, you can still go the delegated authority route or you can explain that you can't help anymore if your siblings are causing you problems.  There is a point where you do have to stand up for yourself and your right to get basic respect and consideration from others.  If your brother won't wake up so you can leave on time (and be on-time to work), you may have to leave without him and let him fend for himself.  I know that will be hard and will cause conflict, but it should force the issue to resolve itself.  Either your parents will do everything they can to get your brother moving in the morning or it just won't be your problem anymore.  (On a side note, bailing out your siblings every time they are late will never give them the motivation to get up and get moving.  Missing a bus and having to walk is great motivation not to miss the bus.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what solution you end up going with, you will need your parents help and support.  They are the authorities over your siblings and really have final say in how they are raised.  Talk to them and work something out first and then put it into practice and stick to your guns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T17:15:23.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18109" CreationDate="2015-02-26T21:48:58.650" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know whether you will find a car seat that lasts up to 4 years and can be put onto the wheels...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But we bought the Cosatto Giggle Travel System and it is fantastic.&#xA;The buggy comes with a bassinet, a puschair and you can also get the Cosatto Hold seat and adapters which go on the wheels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its not that expensive and the seat is meant to last until 12 months.&#xA;Its so handy when baby is asleep and you can move from car onto wheels easily. It has padding which you can take out to make the space bigger, my little one is 6 months and we have only just taken it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13815" LastActivityDate="2015-02-26T21:48:58.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18849" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18851" CreationDate="2015-02-27T08:27:45.250" Score="0" ViewCount="722" Body="&lt;p&gt;These days kids are very vulnerable to the bacteria infections. I want to improve my understanding of how bacteria affect us and how to effectively prevent them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My real question is, if our immune system is strong, will that prevent the bacteria enterung our body? How can we help our children have a healthy immune system to protect them from bacteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12072" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-02-27T14:59:45.463" LastActivityDate="2015-02-27T15:16:34.000" Title="Suggestions to fight bacterial infection" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18849" CreationDate="2015-02-27T08:56:43.877" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A short answer, but I think it is a bit too relevant for a comment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cows. Let your kid meet cows in an old-style farm. I could not find any english-language sources yet, but bovine germs are usually close enough to human ones to train the immune system, but harmless enough to a human to be... well, harmless.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Actually, cows gave us the way to the first smallpox vaccine: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cowpox&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cowpox&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also: don't disinfect everything. Keep things clean, but there is usually no need for disinfectant. (Exceptions occur when someone in the household already is ill, but that is another matter)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A short answer for the Immune System: it doesn't keep germs out, but it DOES destroy them. And once it knows a germ (having been through an infection once, or by vaccination), it will usually know the response.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Good food, exercise and general healthy living will of course always help -&gt; When you are in good physical condition, you can more easily deal with diseases weakening you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastActivityDate="2015-02-27T08:56:43.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18849" CreationDate="2015-02-27T10:21:48.213" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You cannot prevent bacteria from entering your body. They enter constantly, every time you use a toothbrush, rub your eyes, eat a bite of food, breathe in a cougher's aerosolized droplets, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, having the right kind of bacteria colonizing our oronasopharynx, our skin, our GI tract, etc. prevents many pathogenic bacteria from getting a foothold in our bodies. That is the theory (and the emerging science) behind &lt;em&gt;prebiotics&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;probiotics&lt;/em&gt; (which is different than saying commercial probiotics are recommended).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How we can give good immunity power to our kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our microbiomes (the make-up of the various communities of bacteria living on and inside of us) are influenced heavily by the families we are raised in, the area in which we live, etc. But we do have &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; influence over them. We should not be afraid of harmless bacteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“I think we are coming around to the view that most microbes are indeed beneficial,” says Rob Knight of the University of Colorado Boulder. “Instead of declaring war, we need to think in the context of ecosystems that make up our bodies. Figuring out how to encourage good microbes while eliminating the bad will be of increasing importance.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without going into too much detail (you can search the internet for useful advice), some things are being recommended to promote a healthy microbiome (applying common sense is always important, of course), such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eat more plants and less highly-processed foods: vegetables and leafy greens promote a healthier microbiome.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;keep a pet: families that have an indoor dog tend to have fewer allergies and certain other illnesses.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;visit a farm (an &lt;strong&gt;organic&lt;/strong&gt; dairy farm with perhaps a petting zoo).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;avoid &lt;em&gt;unnecessary&lt;/em&gt; antibiotics; don't self-prescribe antibiotics (for example, don't save the last few pills from a prescription of antibiotics to take &quot;next time you come down with a bug&quot;).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;know the difference between viruses (they do not respond to antibiotics) and bacteria. Don't ask your doctor for antibiotics when you are told you have a virus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;avoid unnecessary 'industrial strength' household cleaners (mild detergents and elbow grease are frequently good enough. You don't need a germ-free home; it won't ever happen anyway).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tend a small garden.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get your proper immunizations. Some are for protection against harmful bacteria.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general**, do what doctors have been advocating for decades: eat healthily, get outside, exercise, etc. and wash your hands often with soap and water. And don't worry too much about fighting normal bacteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;** Obviously, if you have special circumstances, follow your doctor's recommendations.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/microbiome/changing/&quot;&gt;Your Changing Microbiome &amp;lt;- &lt;em&gt;Easy-to-understand introduction&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/microbiome/&quot;&gt;The Human Microbiome &amp;lt;- Introduction to wide range of topics regarding microbiomes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://genomemag.com/change-your-microbiome-change-yourself/#.VPA6EGbqmto&quot;&gt;Change Your Microbiome, Change Yourself &amp;lt;- &lt;em&gt;Interesting reading&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ucsf.edu/news/2013/12/110746/research-shows-how-household-dogs-protect-against-asthma-and-infection&quot;&gt;Research Shows How Household Dogs Protect Against Asthma, Infection&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.phoenixhealth.me/Clinical%20Studies/The%20farm%20effect,%20or%20-%20when,%20what%20and%20how%20a%20farming%20environment%20protects%20from%20asthma%20and%20allergic%20disease.pdf&quot;&gt;The farm effect&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-02-27T10:50:14.923" LastActivityDate="2015-02-27T10:50:14.923" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18849" CreationDate="2015-02-27T15:16:34.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the excellent answer presented by Anongoodnurse, I would suggest that if you're specifically looking to limit bacterial infection in your respiratory system, as well as viral infections of the same, one major thing you can do is to look at the humidity of your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In colder, drier climates (think US Upper Midwest or central Canada for example), airborne viruses and bacteria have an easier time infecting your respiratory system when the air is more dry, in part because that dryness can irritate your respiratory system.  Your lungs are naturally fairly wet (which is part of what facilitates oxygen transfer).  When dry they can get irritated, and that makes it easier for viruses or bacteria to successfully infect you.  This is why 'colds' are common in the winter - primarily not because of the temperature, but the dry air. Over air conditioning your home can have a similar effect if you live in a drier area to begin with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/common-cold/in-depth/humidifiers/art-20048021&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt; has a good article on the benefits and drawbacks of humidifiers, and they point out that over-humidifying is dangerous as well (as it encourages mold, some other allergens, and even bacteria to grow).  Aiming for 30-50% humidity is about right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In extremely humid climates, such as India or Malaysia, the high humidity may be just as dangerous if not more; in particular, molds grow very easily, and while most of these molds don't actually colonize your body, they can cause allergies and asthma, and cause your body to be vulnerable to infection from other sources.  Being careful to keep your home not too humid, and watching for (in particular) black mold on the walls, is one good thing you can do to avoid this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-02-27T15:16:34.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18854" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-27T23:33:43.503" Score="3" ViewCount="1012" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age should my child sleep in his or her own room to greatest decrease the risk of SIDS? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the risk for SIDS is greatest at age 2-3 months or 2-4 months,  and that it is no longer classified as SIDS if the baby is 1 year old. So would the answer be after the first birthday, or second best, at 5 months or any later time? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child is not known to be at greater risk for SIDS. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that the parents do have a video baby monitor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;: I see why my question was ambiguous. I realize that moving the child to his/her own room does not seem to decrease the risk of SIDS. But if the chance of SIDS is reduced by having the child in the same room as the parents, when can I most safely move my child to his/her own room? I realize that this is likely a statistical probability question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13830" LastEditorUserId="13830" LastEditDate="2015-03-22T23:09:53.760" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T14:12:15.920" Title="At what age should my child sleep in his or her own room to greatest decrease the risk of SIDS?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|bedroom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18856" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-28T00:04:14.753" Score="3" ViewCount="483" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are preparing for our first one and have no idea on how we should go about the bubs basics like bathing, feeding (how often to feed, how long on breast milk), sun-screening, etc, just basically caring for a new born. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't have anyone around us to guide us/seek guidance from which is making us even more anxious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a guide(s) on how an infant/new born should be cared for which covers all aspects ? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10089" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-03-03T16:07:27.653" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T17:13:49.310" Title="How to care for a new born - where to find a comprehensive guide?" Tags="|infant|newborn|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18856" CreationDate="2015-02-28T01:24:31.877" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a pretty broad subject. A single all inclusive source may not exist, and if it did, it might be overwhelming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First things first, try not to be anxious. New babies make no mystery about when they want to eat. They spend most of the day sleeping. For the first 6 months or so babies don't do a whole lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things to consider -&#xA;Make sure you're supporting their head. When you pick them up, roll them over, etc, make sure their head is secured, usually just by holding it in place. Babies can't lift their heads for several months. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/ask-heidi/afraid-of-breaking-baby.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What to expect's point of view on that&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tummy time. Place them on their tummy many times a day. This promotes muscle development, which will eventually lead to rolling over and then crawling. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/sleep-naps-12/tummy-time&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's webMD's stance on that&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage as much crawling as you can. Let them decide when they want to start walking. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/development/crawling/7-benefits-of-crawling/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's a non-medical article on that subject&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to nurse as much as you can. Several years if possible. Nursing is the best source of food for babies and contributes significantly to their immune system as well as a few other arguable points (like intelligence and so on) Hard to say about the theories of intelligence. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/nursing-basics&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WebMD's article on that&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the first 6 months, you'll probably be getting the hang of things. When it's time to move to solid foods, just ask around. See what the pediatricians suggest, etc. &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/feeding/honey_botulism.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;No honey.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could write libraries dedicated to this subject but nothing's going to prepare you for your kid. Just time. And as time goes by you'll see it's not as hard as you think. The first few months are actually pretty easy because your baby is pretty much just learning to look around and maybe roll. Plus, you'll have to go to the pediatricians so often for weight checks and things that someone is always watching them grow with you. They'll let you know if you need to do anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I swear babies are psychic. They just know when you're having a bad time, and it makes them have a bad time. Try not to lose your mind. Just figure they have never seen the world and you're all they know for comfort, so give them as much attention as you can while you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you get lost, you can ask here for a quick response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could go on forever on the subject but I'll wrap it up by assuring you that you will have a good time. I am just about the last person who should have had kids but now that they're here it's awesome and I love seeing them progress with such an insane dad. You'll delight in seeing how they reflect everything you do, and it all begins when they're small enough to fit in one hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the book I suggested in my comment:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/076115213X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What to expect the first year&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-02-28T01:24:31.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18856" CreationDate="2015-02-28T05:10:15.387" Score="8" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get some books to build up your confidence. The &quot;What to expect...&quot; books are too built up and drawn out. Too much of everything. Simple, cool books are attractive reads and hold adequate amount of content. I liked &quot;Eat Sleep Poop&quot;. These books will not give you as much &quot;what to do&quot; advice, but what you should not freak out about. This is important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Understand that there's not much to do. First your are pregnant. Google things like &quot;what to do or not to do while pregnant&quot;. Then you have a newborn. All they do is eat, sleep, and poop (like the book says). People have been growing babies for tens of thousands of years and did ok. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help will come. You'll have doctor for health advices. Nurses for feeding. Every bystander has an advice on babies (including me).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Enroll in a couple of small free classes at a local hospital. They often do them for free or for cheap. Don't enroll into anything that is 3 hrs long, likely waste of time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Search Youtube with words like &quot;Lamaze&quot; and &quot;contractions&quot;. These are pretty important to know before it happens.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Materials: &#xA;for sleeping: you need place to put baby in before you have one. Pack'n'play will do. Crib is not necessary for the first few months.&#xA;for pooping: diapers, wipes, garbage bin. Maybe diaper cream...&#xA;for eating: burp cloths, small cloths, big cloths, more cloths.&#xA;for living: many onesies, sleep sack/swaddlers, hats, &lt;strong&gt;car seat&lt;/strong&gt;, blankets. But nursery, strollers, rockers, play mats, etc. are absolutely for &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; comfort and not essential for the baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13833" LastEditorUserId="13833" LastEditDate="2015-04-14T21:29:08.787" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T21:29:08.787" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18862" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-02-28T11:09:59.820" Score="2" ViewCount="1631" Body="&lt;p&gt;i am two months pregnant. Feeling constipation every two days. What should i take to get relieved of this problem? Pls somebody advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13838" LastActivityDate="2015-07-10T11:53:08.467" Title="Constipation problem in two months pregnancy" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18862" CreationDate="2015-02-28T21:28:28.603" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you want something for &quot;long&quot; term, not just for a given crisis, the dietetic solution likely is the best one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eating more fibers and fluids is usually the answer though depending on the person you need more soluble or insoluble fibers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people need more soluble fibers (whole cereals, vegetable skins and fruits) for some though insoluble fibers will help, in this case Beans/lentils/split peas are completely outstanding in terms of fiber content. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife had extreme constipation and we tried both diets high in one or the other for two days, in both cases with a lot of water and we knew right away that beans was the answer. For my mother, whole wheat is the answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it doesn't get better after trying both you should definitely see a dietician or a doctor for a personalized check of your general health and diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13795" LastActivityDate="2015-02-28T21:28:28.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18864" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-01T04:00:38.063" Score="13" ViewCount="40038" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 18, almost 19 and I've been dealing with my parents' negativity as far as I remember myself. I'm currently a game programmer, something that isn't from the easiest. Still I manage perfectly to cope with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Long story short) of the power of infinity, my parents always moan about me not communcating enough with them and not contancting them very often. I completely understand them but here comes the funny part. Every time we talk, we loop over same things all over and over again, like how hard life is, they not having enough time to do the things they want(a note, my mam is all day long in front of the tv, washing her brains out every single second more and more). If you have heard about back pain or joints pain in general in your life, trust me it's not enough! You have to hear how my parents are talking! They have everything actually... pretty much enough money, free time, everything that a person needs to live perfectly. Still this isn't noticed. Only the negative, which sometimes isn't actually that negative, just the way they present it....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know I shoudn't try to change people at all but what if these people are my family and I want to get the best of life? I guess you would say smth like &quot;well then don't pay so much attention to it&quot;. Okay that simple. But what about the emotions I get from them, being so negative, after all they are my family I don't want them to feel bad at all. But like I mentioned above I'm in a very competitive industry, where you cannot afford to waste time on useless talks, especially negative ones, which not only don't have any pros but also have many cons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time I talk with them I leave with my head down, tired and disguisted of all the negativity they've got or I get away very angry, thinking about the scandals for days after. I am so lucky to have an amazing gf, who supports me in everything I do, especially in these hard times I have with my parents but still sometimes I feel that I disassemble her with my problems. I.e. one day she wakes up, I've woken up before her, have talked with my parents and in order to avoid having arguments with her I share everything that happened with me and them. This way, despite the advantages of doing this, she gets part of the negative energy that flows in our family and I HATE THIS!&#xA;The worst thing of all I hate is their &quot;useful&quot; advices, even when I don't ask them for any. How I should be cautios about my diplomas and so on. How many cheaters in life there are, which is the reason why they haven't succeeded in life. haha because of the cheaters, this is so funny! They have excuses for every single failure of theirs. Still they manage to criticise me for doing the &quot;wrong&quot; thing every time my opinion doesn't match with theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing is GUILT. Many times I've tried just to ignore the things they tell me to do but then the next time we talk the following answers come along: Did you do this, did you do that? Why didn't you do it? Why did you do this? Why didn't you listen to us, don't you think we're right. They have smth like a desease for being the right people always... The problem is they never learn. I don't want to be offensive or rude or smth but they really have stopped growing since the age of 15 or so. They are almost 50 now. Or when I just don't call them because I don't want to get irritated and influenced with another bucnh of negative news, they are like &quot;hey you don't even think about us anymore&quot;. Okkayyyy seriously totally understand them, but howwwww am I supposed to communcate with them??? I don't want to become like them. (Just a note I've been trying to listen to them, be patient and so on. This was the worst time in my life. I became exactly like them. Negative. Totally negative) So I ain't trying this no more....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help me out with this, I've never been feeling so confused in my life and drained! The problem, at least the main one, is that they have the attitude of knowing everything or enough to get the best out of their lives and do not try to improve at all. Also wanting me to change, to be like them, to live their lives, the way they would like to have lived them Long story short my family has always had everything needed to live happily but never have had! What should I do now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S there are many more details that need to be written in order for you to at least partly understand my situation but I think this is completely enough for now. Please dear community help me! Also if anybody thinks that could really help me but need more info there is my email- v.marinov96@gmail.com&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE1:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://textuploader.com/lsdj&quot;&gt;http://textuploader.com/lsdj&lt;/a&gt; - a little bit of additional info.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13843" LastEditorUserId="13843" LastEditDate="2015-03-02T05:34:36.847" LastActivityDate="2020-01-25T01:53:23.430" Title="What should I do when my parents drain all my energy?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1425" CreationDate="2015-03-01T22:32:56.213" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well I currently assist in teaching a junior class (ages 4-14) and I can find some of the younger ones a bit difficult to teach. However I started my self 10 years ago at age 5 and a half (i'm 15 and a half now) and I really enjoyed it as a child. So I would say any age really, as I feel it was the fact that I started so young that has allowed me to not only understand how to teach younger children better, but also get to the level that I'm at. (I am currently a second Dan black belt and have won the Puma World Championships twice, the first time just a three weeks after I became a black belt :) )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13849" LastActivityDate="2015-03-01T22:32:56.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18864" CreationDate="2015-03-02T00:18:42.077" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may not agree with all I say, but please know that it comes from a place of wishing you to find some understanding and balance. Some of it, you will outright dislike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are in the unenviable position of being a young adult who views himself as &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; of an adult than he really is, dealing with parents who view you as &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; of an adult than you really are. So there is a bit of struggling and adjustment yet to be made in expectations on both your parts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Typically yours is an age when kids want to define themselves as independent of their parents, resent their parents' hovering, and often distance themselves from their parents' beliefs and lifestyle as well. It's common to &amp;quot;emerging adulthood.&amp;quot; Your feelings are fairly normal. It is your life; you get to define for yourself what you want from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your parents' eyes, you are still a teenager and need their guidance. As annoying as that view is, the reality is that you're dependent on your grandmothers, and they see that as evidence that you're still not flourishing. &lt;em&gt;Once that dependence is severed and you are taking care of all your own needs, you will truly be an adult&lt;/em&gt;. So, what to do until then?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a close look at yourself. Are you doing the important things for yourself that your parents are &amp;quot;reminding&amp;quot; you to do? Do they have a valid concern? If so, take responsibility for those things, which will show them you can be trusted to take care of yourself in those (and other) areas. It takes years for most kids to prove themselves to their parents, but it does happen eventually for most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your parents live in a telephone world. You live in a text world. Can you see yourself calling them once a week? If you could, it would definitely cut short their complaints in that department. If they have cell phones, you can text them from time to time as well, and call then every other week (really, twice a month isn't too much to ask, is it?) &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;Thinking of you, hoping you're having a good day. Anything new?&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt; might cut off some of the complaints. Reply to the reasonable texts, and ignore irritating texts. You will sort of be 'training' your parents to be courteous, or they get no reply. And you can 'train' them to text instead of call you. It's a lot more effort to text multiple complaints than to speak them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About their negativity: you have no obligation to listen to them complain about you, the hardships they've endured, their poor finances, etc. Do you want to have a relationship with them in 5-10 years? Then start establishing healthy boundaries based on what you want that relationship to look like in 5 or 10 years. You can help yourself by learning to set &lt;a href=&quot;http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/Boundaries.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;boundaries&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. From the article (abridged):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;there are ten laws of boundaries:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law Of Sowing and Reaping - Actions have consequences.  If someone in your life is sowing anger, selfishness, and abuse at you, are you setting boundaries against it?  Or are they getting away with not reaping (or paying the consequences for) what he/she sowed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Responsibility - We are responsible &lt;strong&gt;to&lt;/strong&gt; each other, not &lt;strong&gt;for&lt;/strong&gt; each other.   This law means that each person refuses to rescue or enable another's immature behavior. (This cuts both ways; you don't let your parents constantly complain about their lives - an immature behavior - but you don't get to complain about life with your grandmother, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Power - We have power over some things, we don't have power over others (including changing people)...  We can't change or fix anyone - but we do have the power to change our own life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Respect - If we wish for others to respect our boundaries, we need to respect theirs. ...A person should have the freedom to to protest the things they don't like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Motivation - We must be free to say &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; before we can wholeheartedly say &amp;quot;yes&amp;quot;. One can not actually love another if he feels he doesn't have a choice not to. Pay attention to your motives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Evaluation - We need to evaluate the pain our boundaries cause others.  Do our boundaries cause pain that leads to injury?  Or do they cause pain that leads to growth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Proactivity - We take action to solve problems based on our values, wants, and needs. ...This law has to do with taking action based on deliberate, thought-out values versus emotional reactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Envy - We will never get what we want if we focus our boundaries onto what others have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Activity - We need to take the initiative to solve our problems rather than being passive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Law of Exposure - We need to &lt;em&gt;communicate our boundaries&lt;/em&gt;. A boundary that is not communicated is a boundary that is not working. We need to make clear what we do or do not want, and what we will or will not tolerate. We need to also make clear that every boundary violation has a consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting boundaries is not about making threats. It is about giving them choices and then consequences for the poor decisions they make. We cannot be in a healthy relationship without appropriate boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start small and work up. For example, set the boundary that you will not listen to them grilling you about what you did or didn't do. You can tell them, for example, that you can take care of yourself - and the mistakes you make - and it's no longer their responsibility to remind you of what you need to do. Later when they ask such a question, remind them again. If they refuse to stop asking, tell them, &amp;quot;Mom/Dad, As I've explained, I won't talk about this. When I want your advice, please trust me to ask for it. I have to go now. I'll talk to you next week.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expect difficulties and misunderstandings at first. But it's worth it in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot set their boundaries, though; only your own. Make yours clear and make them count.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About their 'demands': that you trust them, be like them, believe the same things they do, etc. You totally have the right to believe differently from them without feeling guilty. This is another healthy boundary. Again, this is reciprocal: they don't get to tell you who you should be, and you don't get to tell them who they should be. It leads to respect for each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once there is less negativity coming from them, hopefully you will be able to see  things about them that you're grateful for (maybe not; I haven't walked in your shoes.) Tell them about these good things. They will appreciate your appreciation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this isn't helpful, please let me know. Remember this will all be a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; easier once you are fully on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-02T00:18:42.077" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18854" CreationDate="2015-03-02T16:00:54.637" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This answer might be a bit might &quot;longish&quot; because this question can't be answered with a simple date...&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;On SIDS in general:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First things first: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;SIDS&lt;/a&gt; has been a subject of extensive research, but there is still no &quot;final&quot; answer what causes it. Statisticians have gone wild on potential risk factors, determining an entire list of what &lt;em&gt;increases&lt;/em&gt; the risk of SIDS. I'm not going to repeat this here, there is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome/basics/prevention/con-20020269&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;plenty&lt;/a&gt; of material available online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are correct in your assumption that young babies should sleep in the same bedroom as their parents, A E has given a bunch of useful links in his comments above, so I won't repeat this here either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In theory&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;em&gt;your otherwise healty, breastfead baby is at minimal risk if&lt;/em&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He/She sleeps on his back in a sleeping bag&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He/She sleeps on a rather hard mattress in his/her own cot&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His/Her bed does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; have cushioning, fluffy blankets or stuffed toys&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The parent is non-smoking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: No time frame given for this risk-reducing factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, so good. Should your baby agree on these terms, congratulations. Mine didn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;This is how it went for us:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a first parent, I meticulously placed my baby on its back in the crib / stroller /...  - where he would either not fall asleep or wake up really soon. He slept fine on his stomach or on his side. With hindsight, I could have realized sooner that both parents prefer to sleep that way, too... Was the same with child 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, child 1 slept almost exclusively with body contact, from day 1 on in hospital (after 53 hours of labour and a C-Section, no less), so not co-sleeping simply didn't work for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Was I worried? Sure I was. Especially as a first parent one is inclined to follow &lt;em&gt;each and every advice&lt;/em&gt; and to &lt;em&gt;do everything by the book&lt;/em&gt;. What calmed me was that the absolute risk for SIDS is not terribly high for healthy babies and that we did what we could to avoid the risk factors our babies agreed upon too - no overheating, no smoking parents, breastfeeding,...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Some practical advice on co-sleeping or sharing a bedroom&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask when you should move your baby to his own bedroom to decrease the risk of SIDS. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;The answer: &lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;There is no reason to move your child out of the parents bedroom to reduce the risk of SIDS.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could argue that the risk of SIDS is the highest between 2-4 or 2-6 months and is only minimal after the first year. So you might conclude that sharing the bedroom is not necessary any longer (with regard to SIDS-risks) after 6 months or a year. There are other reasons why you might want to continue these sleeping arrangements, but discussing them here would be definitively off-topic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I can understand the wish of having your bedroom to yourselves again. You are not only parents, but a couple, right? This has been discussed &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8258/how-do-parents-have-sex-when-theres-a-toddler-in-the-house/11878#11878&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, for example. One word of advice: Bedroom activities need not be restricted to a bedroom...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-03-03T02:49:12.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18870" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-02T17:06:36.337" Score="3" ViewCount="6728" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you protect kids, particularly newborns and toddlers, from mosquito bites when they are playing outside?  Especially when camping, at a park, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can someone give me some practical advice on how to protect babies from mosquito bites?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13853" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-07T15:47:51.243" LastActivityDate="2019-09-10T05:31:38.410" Title="How to protect babies from mosquito bites?" Tags="|toddler|infant|newborn|safety|outdoor|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18864" CreationDate="2015-03-02T21:46:47.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a lot of text to go through. But after looking it over it sounds like a situation more common than you may know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what the best path is for dealing with your draining parents, but maybe I can give some idea about how they got that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ever notice that the news is pretty much all bad news? That television went from mentally stimulating shows like the twilight zone and star trek and over the years devolved into hour long bicker fests like real housewives and dance moms? If you haven't seen those shows, don't start. They're just more of the same thing you're talking about. I'm no psychologist but I think the world tends to feed off mutual complaining. It's possible they have spent so much time in a world that assaults us with plight that the notion of happiness or appreciation has diminished so much that it is difficult to even bring up in conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're young - I was making video games when I was 19 too - it looks good. All of it. You feel like you can do anything and you probably can. It can all be changed by one decision, like moving to San Francisco instead of staying in your home town, working hard and earning degrees and such. But if their lives are like most of ours, the decisions we make in life lead to a continuous struggle that's not necessarily bad. Just not how we dreamed of our lives going. When you have a dream to think back on, a life of plenty can still seem like a life of deprivation. It gets heavier as time goes on until you hit that point where it no longer matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having kids is a tough one. On the one hand, any dream you had will be a million times harder to achieve. Even if your dream was having kids. On the other, whatever dreams you had are probably nothing compared to how awesome it is to have your kids. Double edged sword.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They might complain about everything because complaining has been so deeply embedded in the routine that it has become necessary. They likely legitimately don't want you to be upset and never plan on your visits turning into anger or arguments. But you're their kid, so there's a degree of comfort in feeling like you are listening, even if it is the same thing over and over.&#xA;For them, it is possible you are what they want most in life. You're old enough to move out. You're old enough to move away. You're old enough to choose for yourself. Maybe they're afraid of that and they don't know how to say it directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite reading of the aggravation it seems is between you and your parents, I don't get the impression you have a bad relationship with them. I don't get the impression you resent them as people, just the fact that it always seems like their only goal is to spread misery and blame everyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you ever have good visits with them? Does it ever go smoothly? Or could it be that, like the news, you don't notice the good parts because there's so much bad thrust in your face that it seems like it is always bad?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I moved away from my family when I was 19. I chose to move to San Francisco. I was there for 8 years. In that time I realized how little I cared to be away from my family. I realized I didn't care if I was making video games or repairing buildings. I just knew I didn't want to think back on life and compare whatever it was I was doing with the time I could have spent with my family. Even though I live less than 5 miles from them, I still don't see them often enough. But I don't feel like it was a mistake moving back. Point being that for me it was time apart that got me to diffuse whatever was going through my mind. My struggle wasn't with my parents exactly. But I figure a lot of it was the struggle I had with myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe for you, time away might be what it takes to get them to see how much they should appreciate the time they have with you. I'm not suggesting you move away and dismiss your family. It's not the place of some guy on the internet to tell you how to live your life. But maybe this story helps to see it from their perspective, as well as what time may do to that perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-03-02T21:46:47.320" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18856" CreationDate="2015-03-03T05:21:34.220" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, many resources exist that provide instructions for everything you &quot;need&quot; to know to care for your newborn infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One that I've found that has good information, illustrations, and working links is &lt;a href=&quot;http://raisingchildren.net.au/newborns/newborns.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Raising Children's newborn section&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the links to the topics you specifically asked for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://raisingchildren.net.au/bathing__washing/newborn_bathing_washing.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bathing and Washing&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/bath_safety.html/context/570&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bath Safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://raisingchildren.net.au/nutrition/newborns_nutrition.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Nutrition and Feeding&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/safety_in_the_sun.html/context/570&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sun Safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have quite a wide variety of topics that they cover, and their landing page is broken down into different sections, such as Development or Safety, which make it easy to navigate to the information you want, or to find topics you didn't know you wanted!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just one site of many, but they have a pretty nice interface, and they have information for children of all ages, not just newborns. Some sites, like Parents.com or BabyCenter.com offer articles or listicles that have annoying click-throughs, or have their articles broken up into many smaller items that increase your click-count and their ad revenue. RaisingChildren.net.au, however, is part of a Non-Profit Organization, and they're goal is to give helpful information to parents, rather than create profit revenue streams. I'm sure there are many other sites out there like this, but it's up to you to find them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The real key here is that you have the desire to learn and know these things.&lt;/strong&gt; Just by asking this question, you have shown (me) that you have one of the most important qualities of being a parent: Admitting you don't know how to do it all, and seeking out the answers to your questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you read over some of the basic&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; information in the articles on websites such as Raising Children, you'll start to think of new, more complicated questions that aren't readily available on the more general websites. That's when web searches come in handy. These days, the Internet has connected parents across the world, so it's rare to come up with a question that hasn't already been asked by someone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; I say basic, but it's only basic in the sense that more complicated information out there exists, not in the sense that everyone knows it already. First-time parents &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt; usually have all of this knowledge already!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my own (limited) experience, hospitals or midwives generally have pamphlets, books, or training sessions available for some of this info, too. It's usually provided free or at low cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-03T18:40:48.723" LastActivityDate="2015-03-03T18:40:48.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18874" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-03T17:32:01.733" Score="30" ViewCount="86025" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is going on 5 and starting to learn a lot about how we're created. I've been with my husband for 10 years, but nearly 6 years ago I had no other choice but to move 1000 miles away and after trying the long distance thing it didn't work so we split up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ended up going through a rough patch and started dating an abusive jerk. After a year I was pregnant. He threatened me trying to force me to have an abortion and I refused. His grandmother was chief of police and he scared me into moving back to Florida.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, when I was 4 months along in my pregnancy my husband and I picked up right where we left off. He loved me so much and accepted our son as if he was his own and has done an amazing job at raising him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He enrolled in college while I was pregnant, got us a house and went above and beyond to care for us both (as after giving birth I became very ill due to rare brain and spine conditions). I've always tried to do right by my son. Since day one, even while with my husband, I tried to keep the sperm donor involved. But he wanted no part of his son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband stepped up when the biological father refused. The biological father would pretend that he cared, only to tell me he never cared about him anyway and was just trying to manipulate me into stopping child support (which I did anyway after the first year: I felt it wasn't right to take his money when my son had a dad who loved, supported and wanted him from the beginning).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a very long story so I'll try and make it not so much of a novel. The sperm donor has made it very clear he wants nothing ever to do with my son. My husband has been Dad since the moment my son entered this world. I've always planned to tell my son as early as possible. I think now, or in a few years, it won't be as hard on him compared to us telling him when he's a teen and who knows how he'd handle it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just don't know what to do. We have an extremely happy loving family. My son adores his dad. We never argue, we have a very happy non-dysfunctional marriage. I just feel we have a very special family. But I refuse to lie to my son. What if we wait and someone else maliciously tells him? Or if, when he's older and finds out, he spirals out of control?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm so confused, I just want to do the right thing and desperately need advice. Especially from others who have been through similar circumstances. We're planning on meeting with therapists and I guess child development specialists, if someone could also point me in the right direction for what type of doctor is best suited in this situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also my son is very happy. He has a wonderful life and I feel as if he would do fine, knowing how much he loves his dad and just beginning to really grasp the concept of life. I don't think it would change anything for him, if that makes sense. I've been worrying over this for 5 years and really need some answers!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13861" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-09T15:26:55.047" LastActivityDate="2019-02-09T15:32:03.830" Title="How and when should I tell my son that his amazing father isn't his biological father?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|age-appropriate|step-parents|father|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18856" CreationDate="2015-03-03T19:12:34.317" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The guide I found was the must useful for me was the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1594745978&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reason it's a good book&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Easy to read&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's funny (compare baby to a car)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The many diagrams help to visualize how to do everyday parenting's tasks: like how to hold your baby, how to change a diaper, how to wrap your baby, what a nursery look like&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4775" LastActivityDate="2015-03-03T19:12:34.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18874" CreationDate="2015-03-03T19:53:57.887" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;My approach is not much different than what I'd suggest for plain vanilla everyday families:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why not supplement the biology part with a discussion of what makes a father a father or &lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;the fundamental difference between producing and raising a child&lt;/strong&gt;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO, &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; child's education on sex should include these aspects. We want to raise responsible adults, not just inform them on the human reproductive system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are so many children that are raised by step- or foster parents, by family members or friends. Children are conceived thanks to medical assistance and egg- or sperm donors. It takes a village, they say... And we are so much more than our genetic make up. Your son's situation and history is unique to him, but by no means unheard of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lay the groundwork of these ideas and values, then follow up whenever more technical details fit in. Catch &quot;occasions&quot; over the next few years, a few random examples could be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A divorced or widowed parent in your neighbourhood re-marries or has a new partner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your son asks about when you decided to have a baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does he look like his mom or dad?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you are shattering the image of &quot;man &amp;amp; woman -&gt; love -&gt; marriage -&gt; kids -&gt; happily ever after&quot; a bit sooner than you intended to, but rest assured, most observant children of your son's age will have noticed by now that reality works differently on occasion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But please spare him the gruesome details for now. Stick to neutral answers like &quot;your bio-dad lives far away&quot; or &quot;your bio-dad doesn't want to visit&quot;, even admit that you don't know some details (like &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; his bio-dad doesn't want him) or that you will tell him more when you think he can understand better, &lt;em&gt;but don't lie&lt;/em&gt;. He will ask for more information as he gets a older, then tell him in an age-appropriate way. This is where telling the truth pays off: You don't have to worry whether your storry adds up. If he catches you lying, this may severely damage his trust in you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case whether you wonder if its a good idea to tell your son his story: &lt;br&gt;&#xA;The mistakes we make and admit do not make us inferior, what we make of them counts. You got a wonderful son and a stable marriage out of a bad situation and should be proud of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-09T15:30:18.507" LastActivityDate="2019-02-09T15:30:18.507" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18874" CreationDate="2015-03-04T00:57:37.477" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He has a wonderful life and I feel as if he would do fine, knowing how much he loves his dad and just beginning to really grasp the concept of life. I don't think it would change anything for him, if that makes sense. I've been worrying over this for 5 years and really need some answers!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm very happy for you and your family. Five years is a long time to worry, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has your husband adopted your son? Do you have anything in writing from the biological father about giving up all rights? (In other words, are the legalities wrapped up?) How many people know the truth, and how likely are they to tell your son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a different viewpoint, maybe a shocking one. While I place a very high value on the truth, the truth doesn't always set people free, especially little ones who lack the sophistication to understand things like biological parental rejection. On the other hand, it appears that no matter when you tell the child, they will begin to have deeper questions about the whole thing during late adolescence. This has been shown in sperm-donor children, and even in interracial adoption, where the child knows from the beginning that they were chosen, wanted and loved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now your son probably just wants birds-and-bees-type information, not an actual &quot;what is my particular genetic identity?&quot; I would not tell him until you've spoken to a therapist, perhaps one who specializes in adoption. They can give you recommendations regarding when and how to break the news based on years of dealing with children of adoption and the problems they have. One would hope the problems would be much less serious because your son has always had his biological mother, and that attachment has been there from birth (it sounds as if he has always had his non-biological father's attachment as well. All the better.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T00:57:37.477" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1851" CreationDate="2015-03-04T02:47:13.997" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a diaper to fit correctly, the following must be true:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The back must go above the top of the &quot;butt crack&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or urine will leak out the back, because the crack breaks the seal&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If this isn't true, you probably need a bigger diaper so it can go higher up the back&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The straps must go above the hips, and be tighter than the hips&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or the diaper will slip down, and everything will pour out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it's not tighter than the hips, it needs to be tighter&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The legs must be tight enough to make a good seal&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or stuff will leak out there&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If this isn't true, you may need to stick the straps further downwards&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also make sure that the top-front flaps and pulled out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things that can go wrong:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For a boy, the penis should point down&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The diaper is simply too full&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13863" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T02:47:13.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18880" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-04T05:53:53.167" Score="10" ViewCount="3228" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in my early 20s, I haven't developed my career yet. I'm currently in my final year of pre-med. I was going to apply to medschool next year, but I'm four months pregnant now. I've decided to delay medschool until 2017, but my husband wants me to be a stay at home mother. Also, my husband and I are citizens of different countries, we're living and working in his country now, but I'll be studying in my country which is on the other side of the world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby will be cared for by me with the help of my parents, but my husband won't get to see her/him much because he'll be working in his country and doesn't have plans to relocate.. So we'll be a long distance family and he'll miss many of the baby's milestones. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I honestly dread the thought of being a stay at home mother, my own mother is a highly educated professional woman. No offence to anyone, but I believe I have a lot of potential (including the potential to be more successful than my husband). Being a doctor is also more prestigious than being a stay at home mother and I'll have financial independence - doctors are very well paid.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I feel that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I won't have enough time to devote to my child to raise her the way I want. I don't want to hire a nanny or put her in daycare. I also wanted to homeschool my kids. Being a doctor, or studying to be a doctor involves many many many hours. It's not 9 to 5 like other jobs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I also feel that it will affect my relationship with my husband. No physical contact for 4+ years etc. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I hadn't planned to have kids until 30, so this has completely derailed my plans and no abortion isn't an option. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I'm not set on becoming a doctor. I'm also interested in entrepreneurship so I guess I could start and run a home based or online business but I'm not sure if I'll be successful , entrepreneurship is not as straightforward as a medical career. In any case, I know I want to be successful, financially and socially, I want to be respected and held in high esteem by everyone around me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I consider to help me make this decision?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13867" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-03-04T08:08:24.133" LastActivityDate="2015-03-11T13:47:50.570" Title="How can I decide whether to continue studying or become a stay-at-home mother?" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18880" CreationDate="2015-03-04T07:50:28.873" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;What an interesting post. &lt;em&gt;Ignoring the ideal, and dealing only with what is&lt;/em&gt;, then&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know I want to be successful, financially and socially, I want to be respected and held in high esteem by everyone around me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're right, this probably won't happen as a stay at home mom (SAHM). While mothering is the most important job I ever had, it certainly isn't financially rewarding, nor does it garner lots of respect. Being a professional does that better in many Western cultures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're young yet to know what to do with the rest of your life. All this might change &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt; once you have your baby in your arms. Babies have a way of derailing life's ambitions and rearranging our priorities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finances are not a trivial matter to those who've been without money. My personal belief is that it's important for a woman to have the skills to be financially independent if needed. That was one of the reasons I chose to become a professional (intellectual challenge was important as well, but not respect or admiration.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many women doctors work part-time. Some part-time doctors partner up with another part-timer to fill a full time position. Some women wait until their kids are teenagers before going to medical school (the oldest medical student in my class was 45.) All this is doable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what is not doable (my opinion) is being a single-parent and going to medical school/residency, and (&lt;em&gt;and?&lt;/em&gt;) &lt;em&gt;homeschooling&lt;/em&gt;. I don't want to take a limited view of your abilities, but homeschooling &lt;em&gt;well&lt;/em&gt; is a full-time job that changes every year. The lowest grades are easy comparatively, but when you start getting into middle school, there is a &lt;strong&gt;lot&lt;/strong&gt; of material (for you) to learn and to cover, and &lt;em&gt;it's new every year&lt;/em&gt;, that is, your goals and objectives, your study plans, the books, the materials, they change for every grade you homeschool your kids (which is great if you're homeschooling several kids). And this isn't even discussing &lt;em&gt;parenting&lt;/em&gt;, which trumps everything (in my book). &lt;strong&gt;Parenting well is hard work.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A person &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; work a full-time and a part-time job. But you're talking about two-and-a-half jobs (I'll count med school and residency as one-and-a-half jobs), and &lt;em&gt;without a partner and/or a nanny?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to prioritize. Contrary to what your youthful and energetic optimism would have you believe, you &lt;strong&gt;can't do it all&lt;/strong&gt; without paying a significant price.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It’s time to stop fooling ourselves, says a woman who left a position of power: the women who have managed to be both mothers and top professionals are superhuman, rich, or self-employed.  - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/&quot;&gt;Why Women Still Can’t Have It All&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Opting Out?: Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home - Pamela Stone&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T07:50:28.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18882" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-04T07:51:45.097" Score="0" ViewCount="121" Body="&lt;p&gt;He refused to join any activity (Karate/Gymnastics/Tennis). He doesn't even want to join church lessons for kids (Sunday school). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shall I force him or wait until he is 6?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13868" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-04T09:42:10.640" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T20:51:48.373" Title="Should I force my 4 year boy to play sports or activities?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|activities|sports|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-03-04T22:59:50.273" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2015-03-04T10:51:50.487" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why would you want to force it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forcing anyone to do anything they don't want is usually counter-productive, regardless of their age.   If he goes along, odds are that he will either resent you for forcing, go along until he can find a way out, or just cause trouble until asked to leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forcing a kid to do something is not discipline.   Discipline is about setting reasonable standards, making them and the reasons for them clear, and clear consequences for unreasonable behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be better to take the time to talk with (not at) him and work out what he is interested in doing.   You might also be able to work out the reason for his refusal.   If there is something else that interests him more, and it doesn't do any harm, it is probably better to find a way for him to do that.  He'll be engaged, and you won't have to worry about him trying to do something else.   You might find he will be more interested in joining up with friends, or if you join with him.  There might be some other kids at the classes he doesn't like.   You might also find he is interested in something worthwhile that you haven't even thought of.   But you won't know any of that if you don't listen to him, and understand what is motivating (or demotivating) him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to teach a martial art (not karate, but one that often appealed to kids or their parents).   The kids who did well sometimes needed an occasional nudge and encouragement but, fundamentally, they were were there because they wanted to be.   The kids who were forced and really did not want to be there, rarely broke out of that.   It doesn't matter how good an instructor of a martial art is, or a coach of gymnastics or of tennis - a kid who has to be forced to attend will not get much benefit from the class or activity.   Same goes for church lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also don't need to wait until he is 6.   The trick is working with what interests him, regardless of age, and having reasonable expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13518" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T10:51:50.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18885" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18880" CreationDate="2015-03-04T11:07:46.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important role full stop is parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use your intelligence to do the best job possible. If you have started in the field of science research early childhood development, especially the emotional development and how it links to brain development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest concern I would have is not having your husband around, child raising is not a factory process, it requires a deep emotion connection from both parents. Babies and children need both the female and male influence*, on the surface emotional level and the deeper hormonal, bio-electrical and informational field level. I would beg for your husband to be there, he needs to be there for you two. Careers at a young age can be picked up but missing a child's life is worst.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it seems scary but joy is defined by a child's smile. You are young and prime for Child rearing. I raised 2 children as the stay at home Dad, never doubted that life decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case it wasn't a positive situation that looped me back into taking the role of fulltime carer, I got clinically exhausted through my career and a health condition I found out I had. SO the situation was hard as I was the better earner and the prime earner, so I understand the sacrifice more so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the joy of my children, and in some ways my personality compared to the kids mother, I am better at dealing with children. Emotional state as well. But the family situation wasn't easy by far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am trying to say is since it is going to happen, focus on the love and the high importance of the role of a Mother. Use your skill set to learn and empower yourself to do the best job possible. Believe me good parenting is just as intensive as a high science/thought driven job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW my first down vote, apologize if I sound a tad passionate - I haven't seen my babies for 2 days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Sorry if I offended those in same sex relationships that are raising children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13874" LastEditorUserId="13874" LastEditDate="2015-03-04T14:16:36.167" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T14:16:36.167" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2015-03-04T11:47:10.813" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you force your child to do a sport, he will resent you for it and not continue it later in life as it was always something my mum/dad wanted me to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to get your child involved in something meaningful, they have to see it as a fun thing to be doing. They need to feel a part of it. At first it will be very daunting for a child to enter a room full of other children they don't necessarily know and to do an activity they cannot do yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be asking questions why doesn't he want to get involved. No child wants to miss out on something fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your child an introvert and so may need gentle guidance and persuasion to see the fun in being a part of a martial arts club or whatever sport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your child lazy? Is this due to an unhealthy, or un-balanced diet? &lt;a href=&quot;http://healthychild.org/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is just one site of many on the internet that can guide you in providing a healthier diet if that is what is needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your child to play football, do YOU play football with him to get him interested? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I train in a martial art and I have no intention of forcing it on my daughter, what I am doing however is getting her interested in it indirectly, by showing her how much fun it can be and how easy it is for me to do things when she is trying to stop me etc. Through this &quot;play&quot; I am creating an interest in something that I am hoping she will want to be a part of, or at worst, she finds interest in another martial art! Who knows. Kids need guidance, not to be forced into anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13872" LastEditorUserId="13872" LastEditDate="2015-03-04T17:39:37.613" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T17:39:37.613" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18870" CreationDate="2015-03-04T12:51:37.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Burts bees makes a herbal insect repellent. This would be good for really little babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.burtsbees.com/Herbal-Insect-Repellent/15299-00,default,pd.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.burtsbees.com/Herbal-Insect-Repellent/15299-00,default,pd.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also Avon makes a product called Skin So Soft that smells nice and it also repels bugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.avon.com/category/bath-body/skin-so-soft/bug-guard?setlang=en&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.avon.com/category/bath-body/skin-so-soft/bug-guard?setlang=en&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These products seem to be a little gentler that Off or some of the hard core bug sprays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T12:51:37.410" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18870" CreationDate="2015-03-04T13:35:26.027" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For sleep times you can use a mosquito bed net&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com.br/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&amp;amp;ion=1&amp;amp;espv=2&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8#q=mosquito%20net%20for%20bed&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.google.com.br/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&amp;amp;ion=1&amp;amp;espv=2&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8#q=mosquito%20net%20for%20bed&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To indoor day-to-day use a repellent applyed directly to the skin or a some kind of &#xA;mosquito indoors repellent&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com.br/search?q=mosquito+indoors+repellent&amp;amp;espv=2&amp;amp;biw=1920&amp;amp;bih=991&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;tbo=u&amp;amp;source=univ&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=WAr3VJ_-IZPisATE8oCYBg&amp;amp;sqi=2&amp;amp;ved=0CC0QsAQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.google.com.br/search?q=mosquito+indoors+repellent&amp;amp;espv=2&amp;amp;biw=1920&amp;amp;bih=991&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;tbo=u&amp;amp;source=univ&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ei=WAr3VJ_-IZPisATE8oCYBg&amp;amp;sqi=2&amp;amp;ved=0CC0QsAQ&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To let him play in the outside be sure to combine a repellent with a sun block&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in an mosquito endemic area you can install plastic nets on windows, they keep most of insects in the ouside&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11867" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T13:35:26.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18880" CreationDate="2015-03-04T13:55:10.720" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not trying to present a radical view, but I strongly believe we live a society where &lt;strong&gt;studies matter&lt;/strong&gt;. Maybe it's not obvious at the moment, but I have met many women in their 40's who have been stay-home-moms in their 20s and 30s and although that allowed them to stay closer to their children's education, they still have some permanent regrets that resurface every now and then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't&lt;/strong&gt; give up on your studies for anything. People have had jobs and raised children properly. It can be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: As pointed out in the answers, I gave too few arguments, making my answer look rather like a personal opinion. What I should actually do is detail my first argument: &lt;code&gt;I strongly believe we live in a society where **studies matter**&lt;/code&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Self-fulfilling&lt;/strong&gt; - Your profession is what defines you as an individual in a society. It's what drives your every day life, pushes you to improve not only in your area of expertise, but also in your personal skills.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Socializing&lt;/strong&gt; - Going to work every day means knowing and interacting with many more people than you would by staying home. Some of your co-workers may become your friends, thus you would enlarge your social circle and find new activities for your spare time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Money&lt;/strong&gt; - Yes, let's not forget this one, especially as the next argument is:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bad things can happen&lt;/strong&gt; - By being a stay-home mom, you become financially dependent of your partner. Why is that a bad thing? Because as I said, the modern-day society is much different than it was many years ago. Couples divorce a lot more often today and for much less significant reasons. I'm not saying you should keep thinking &quot;what if I one day divorce&quot;, I'm just stating the fact that one should always strive to maintain a certain independence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So that's how I end up to my main point: &lt;strong&gt;financial independence is GOOD&lt;/strong&gt;, regardless of whether you are single, in a relationship, married etc. Keep personal and professional life separated (that's another completely different debate of course).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And to finally arrive to my initial argument: since we live in a world driven by technology, the best way to achieve financial stability is through &lt;strong&gt;study&lt;/strong&gt;. It's very hard to get a good, well-paid, long-term stable job without advanced studies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also two more points I want to make:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The fact that you are very aware of yourself and you feel you have a passion for medicine &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; you also want to pursue entrepreneurial ideas, these two make probably even &lt;strong&gt;stronger&lt;/strong&gt; arguments than mine. Not many people have a clear idea of what they want to do with their life, and they struggle to figure out what the best career path would be for them. The fact that you already have that figured out is already a big plus. Not pursuing your dreams &lt;strong&gt;most likely will haunt you back&lt;/strong&gt; in the future.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I personally think your partner asks too much of you. He is not willing to relocate to stay closer to you, or to help you raising your child, or to even stay close to his own child. Instead, he &lt;strong&gt;asks&lt;/strong&gt; you to give up completely on your career, stay home and raise the child on your own, be both mom &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; dad. I'm not trying to rant here, maybe the circumstances are difficult for him too and he has his reasons, and probably it's not at all his fault for having to stay away. Regardless, this is a strong hint that you should follow your own career too, especially since your parents can help you raising the child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13875" LastEditorUserId="13875" LastEditDate="2015-03-05T08:47:01.623" LastActivityDate="2015-03-05T08:47:01.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18880" CreationDate="2015-03-04T14:06:56.527" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you need to decide 3 things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;First&lt;/strong&gt;: Where do you want to live?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different countries/cultures have different values, in some cultures women are not expected to pursue a career at all and your husband can be wary of marrying a woman earning more than he does. This is not bad or good per se, just different, but you will perceive it as something good or bad in your life. Consider it with caution because you already are a grown woman and a different culture can conflict with your expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Second&lt;/strong&gt;: Do you want to marry? Really?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To marry is to live together, full stop. If you are living miles away from your baby's father there's no family. If he loves you, he will consider living with you in your country and adopting your culture (and don't take this challenge lightly), if you love him you will do the same. Both will work hard to make the other happy, that's the most important thing in a relationship: solidarity. If you want to go single, no problem, but yes, keeping a career and raising a kid are both time consuming and hard to consolidate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Third&lt;/strong&gt;: Career or parenting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must choose your focus. Kids needs a lot of attention. Not only for caring for the day-to-day things like diapers and the occasional fever. Your baby needs love, quality time, etc. At first, you will need a lot of help and it keeps going that way for years. A career will not only take your time but take a toll on your patience and make you tired, both physically and mentally. Also, parenting will drain you in the same way. So you need to choose your focus. You can finish your studies and get a job, but chances are you will not got the time and energy to both become a good mother and a great doctor, you will need to choose between becoming good in one and not that good in the another (at a best scenario).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Conclusion&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What decision will make you more happy and let you feel more rewarded? No one can tell, and neither can you yet. To make it more complicated, it's not only your life. It's a decision for this new human growing in your womb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just be prepared to make a decision and follow it through without regrets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best for your and your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: The only thing I can say that can, maybe, help you is: Focus on the important thing: the persons you love. Maybe you don't love your baby yet but it will be hard to resist after some months caring for him/her. Take your decision as if you and your baby are the only two people on the planet, hope it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11867" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-03-05T12:10:25.633" LastActivityDate="2015-03-05T12:10:25.633" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18870" CreationDate="2015-03-04T14:25:00.620" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mosquito netting is one option (set up a tent over them), but it restricts the child to a fairly confined area. This can work fine for a newborn who doesn't move, but a toddler who wants to run and play, not so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For mobile children, some sort of mosquito repellent on their body is a better choice. Typically this is a liquid spray in a can; the smell is repulsive to mosquitoes, and they won't bite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a number of commercial &quot;bug spray&quot; products available. Many of them use diethyltoluamide (DEET) as the primary repellent. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/consultations/deet/health-effects.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;If the potential side effects of DEET are a concern for you as a parent&lt;/a&gt;, alternative products that rely on essential oils can either be purchased &lt;a href=&quot;http://wellnessmama.com/2565/homemade-bug-spray/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;or made at home&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Mosquitos – citronella, lemon eucalyptus, peppermint, lemon, eucalyptus, catnip, basil, clove, thyme, lemongrass, geranium, lavender &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://tasty-yummies.com/2013/07/17/homemade-essential-oil-insect-repellent-spray/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;(source, and another home recipe)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In both cases, the mosquitos don't like the smell and stay away from skin that's been sprayed. However, they often still bite through clothing that hasn't been sprayed, or look for untreated skin -- I once had a dozen mosquito bites in a small area of my neck that I somehow missed, with no bites anywhere else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally use an herbal option (not homemade, but still just essential oils) just because we all like the smell better. However, it seems to wear off more quickly and requires application every hour or so to be most effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T14:25:00.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18880" CreationDate="2015-03-04T14:32:40.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know several people who faced this dilemma recently, some choose one way some the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, realize this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you pause your study for more than a year, the chance that you will ever finish it becomes minimal.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Someone will have a full time job taking care of the baby.&lt;/strong&gt; If not the father, and not the daycare, then who? In practice I have only seen two alternatives here: Either you do it yourself (which means you cannot do a fulltime activity besides it) or you let someone else do it for a few years, for example the grandparents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may need to rewrite your plans. Being a doctor 50 hours per week, and homeschooling your child will simply never go together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far my experience, I think these are the things you need to consider now. Of course there would be more possibilities if the husband could be pursuaded to move, or if you could use the daycare, but otherwise there is no way to get everything done exactly the way you planned it once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11898" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T14:32:40.530" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18880" CreationDate="2015-03-04T16:39:19.797" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key thing for me here is the contrast between these two lines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;my husband wants me to be a stay at home mother&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But I honestly dread the thought of being a stay at home mother&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would be the primary thing you need to sort out before anything else. It sounds like you're on &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; different pages as to what you need, and that's a problem that's probably worse than 4 years of separation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Becoming a parent takes more work than becoming a grown-up, which is in itself the hardest transition you'll ever make. You &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; need support, and if your partner isn't &lt;em&gt;doing&lt;/em&gt; that, you need to deal with that, either by finding other support sources, or failure is inevitable. If your partner is actually pushing for you to do something you dread, they need to &lt;strong&gt;cut that out right now&lt;/strong&gt;. Managing work and parenting is hard enough without someone telling you you should give up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that you seem to have identified the key pros and cons with what you want, and from the way you're describing &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;it sounds like you know what your decision already is&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;; you're making &lt;em&gt;plans&lt;/em&gt; around going to med-school, which is a very good first step, and the words you're using to describe your career are very positive (especially compared to &quot;dread&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing to remember is that &lt;strong&gt;nothing is permanent&lt;/strong&gt;. Suppose you go to med-school and find you're missing your child, you can leave, using those skills elsewhere.  If your husband finds that he can't being so far from you and your daughter, he can relocate, or you can work towards something fairer. Stubbornness is a tool to help you keep going towards what you want, it shouldn't be a handicap if you decide to change your mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You basically have two choices:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Adjust your ambitions to match the achievable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Attempt to achieve everything but accept that sometimes you'll need to make sacrifices and be comfortable with failure&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;goodnurse covered 1 exceptionally well, and I don't have much more to add there. For number 2, you will undoubtedly achieve more, but you run the risk of doing a bad job of three things rather than a great job of two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the key thing is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;prioritising&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. You need to construct systems that allow you to succeed, and given your situation, they need to be better than average. As an example, make sure you have the necessary dependable structures in place so that if your studies mean you're home late, there's no problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I especially agree with anongoodnurse that you need to be merciful on yourself. It is &lt;em&gt;tremendously&lt;/em&gt; hard to be in your twenties these days, especially for the ambitious, because you're aware that the pressure is on you to develop the skills you'll be trading on for the rest of your career, while at the same time building up the family you'll be relying on for the rest of your life. Couple that with international separation, &lt;em&gt;medical training&lt;/em&gt; and incipient parenthood, and it's not unfair to adjust your expectations; for example, to ensure that you're making enough money to support sending your child to a good nursery/school, or that you're making sure that you're engaged with their learning while not actually going the full homeschool route.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, good luck, and know that we're here as a resource if you're struggling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T16:39:19.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2015-03-04T20:51:48.373" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to go in different direction with my answer and say 'Maybe'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know my own 4 year old is very fickle. He does a program called 'sportsball' that involves trying various sports, and dance. He loves it. &#xA;Sometimes, I will say things: oh, you have a dance class today, are you excited? and he will answer: no, I don't want to go. &#xA;Well, he goes, and afterwards he tells me he loves it. Just in that one moment I asked him, he wasn't interested - because he is 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has always enjoyed moving, running, throwing, music, which is why I put him in the classes. I did start earlier, around 3, and I didn't ask him, I just did. Note that this is through his pre-school, so goes with many of his friends, an added bonus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this is to say - consider why he says no. Is he not interested? Does he generally not like new places? Does his friends not do it? &lt;strong&gt;Has he no idea if he likes it?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a 4 year old, the last part is often the case. We often do things in the weekend, without asking him. I say: today we are going to the part. And we go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you take him once to something. To many different things. Don't commit him. He might hate soccer, like martial arts, love gymnastics... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; important to be physcial active, and it is all about fiding something fun. I think a 4 year old is too young to 'know' if they like something without even trying. Maybe even trying a couple of times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T20:51:48.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18839" CreationDate="2015-03-04T21:18:44.867" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems for me that you are concentrating too much on the weakness of your kid.&#xA;When I was young, my father always complained that I was too weak for studying or for life and he was always trying to incentive me to study more. Once, he even told me how bad my life would be if I didnt study. That didnt motivate me. On the contrary, it just made me feel stupid, powerless, sad and mad against him for motivating me by fear, and not by joy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Luckly, when time came to study for admittance exams on the university, I remembered of my dream as a child of working with airplanes, and guess what? The only university in my country with a course for aeronautical engineering had the most difficult admittance exam in Brazil: 4000 people for 20 places, and it was regarded as an impossible exam by the best students in my school. I studied hard for it for three years, and I passed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when you say your son has no motivation for nothing, maybe its only that you are not aware of the activities that motivates him. If all the activities that motivates him are not recognized by you or people who are important to him, of course his natural behaviour will be to supress his interest for them up to the point that he forgets about it, thus losing his complete motivation for life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him, or try to be aware of, of activities which can make him glow. This may take some time, because those activities are so deeply supressed on him, so it might take some days to realize them. Write them  in a list, put the list on your fridge, and remember yourself that always when you see your son doing them, you should incentive it, or at least not supress it. It may seem that they are many activities which are unrelated, but I believe that at some time, they will connect together and you will be able to make a bigger meaning out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T21:18:44.867" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18807" CreationDate="2015-03-04T21:33:28.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could also try to find other kids or parents who have an inspirating power over your kid, and arrange that your kid does his homework together with this influencing person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until I was 17 I HATED studying. Five minutes of it and I would be going crazy, but somehow a cousin of mine offered himself to study with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He just sit there near me and told me to study physics, and if I had any question I could ask him. He sat near me and was studying for his engineering course. As it was hot summer in Brazil and the warmth made it made so difficult to concentrate, he put a fan under the table to refresh my foot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With him near me, I could study from 10 am to 10 pm without seeing the time passing. I just needed him there for some DAYS, and after this, studying because my greatest hobby! I could study 12 hours non-stop, and it was the biggest joy of my life!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents were trying to motivate me since years with no success, and my cousin did such a job in only some days!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if you if you see you have no positive influence over the motivation of your kid, just try to find somebody who has it. This person will perform almost effortlessly whereas you would spend your whole life on it! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastActivityDate="2015-03-04T21:33:28.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18880" CreationDate="2015-03-05T05:38:04.880" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is something you really need to do: &lt;strong&gt;PRIORITIZE&lt;/strong&gt;.  I'm not saying you don't have your priorities in order, but they aren't clear from your post.  You should sit down with your husband and decide these priorities as a family.  Here is an example I'd suggest, but obviously yours may vary depending on your values:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Staying together, not in separate countries.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensuring we have a sufficient bonding/relationship with our first child during the first five years of his/her life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mom's career happiness in general.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dad's career happiness in general.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Long-term financial well-being.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increasing the level of bond with the child by having a full-time at-home parent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mom's preference for medical career vs. entrepreneurial route (including prestige, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Short-term financial ability to handle immediate plans.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Interest/likelihood of having more children in next 8 or so years (or however long med school will take).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mom's urgency to start medical school NOW vs. in 3 or 5 years.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, there are more things to prioritize than just these, but just trying to list possibilities.  Having these items prioritized will make deciding between options much easier.  You really need to be able to work your way down the list saying &lt;strong&gt;&quot;If I only get one more thing, it would be this next one.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next step is to &lt;strong&gt;brainstorm new ideas&lt;/strong&gt; that might better meet these priorities.  Think outside the box.  Maybe dad wants to stay at home with the kids.  Maybe we move grandma here.  I don't know what's possible and what's not, and neither do you until you've considered it.  List out ideas before criticizing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Then take each idea and run it through the priorities.&lt;/strong&gt;  You could give it points or something if you really want to try to be analytically, but really you just need to identify the idea that works best based on your priorities, which should be much easier now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13724" LastEditorUserId="13724" LastEditDate="2015-03-05T12:59:39.837" LastActivityDate="2015-03-05T12:59:39.837" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18898" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18919" CreationDate="2015-03-05T15:59:16.060" Score="89" ViewCount="15667" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm an Agnostic. When the topic comes to religion, I try to explain to my seven-year-old son what religious persons believe and why I don't share that belief. Until recently, he shared my scepticism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where we live (Germany), pupils in elementary school must visit two hours per week of either religious education (&amp;quot;Religion&amp;quot;), offered by the churches, or an alternative. For older children, the alternative is usually ethics, for elementary school children it is often a supervised quiet work time, where pupils are given more or less boring extra exercises that will keep them busy for the time the other kids are in their religious class. Common offerings for religious education are Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, and Muslim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since most of my son's friends visit the Catholic class, and since the quiet work time is uninspiring, my son decided (without consulting his parents) to visit the Catholic class instead. The Catholic teacher allowed this, and I learned of my son's decision when he told me of it a week or two after this change had been implemented.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son loves this class. The children sing a lot, and my son loves to sing these songs at home (&amp;quot;God loves all children...&amp;quot; is his favourite). If they don't sing, the teacher tells wonderful stories that impress my son who is generally very enamored of fantastic stories: he loves &lt;em&gt;The Hobbit&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Star Wars&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;LEGO Chima&lt;/em&gt;, and somehow the Biblical tales seem like fantasy come real to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has given himself a broad education (his teachers and parents are only the facilitators that help him gain the knowledge he seeks, e.g. by reading to him what he cannot or by answering his questions). He is very interested in everything from the natural sciences to history. One of his favourite topics are the Romans (a context, in which I explained to him the formation and development of Christianity), another are the Vikings, Celts and Germanic tribes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been visiting the Catholic class for about half a year now, and last week, after we had watched a documentary on how the Christian faith spread to the Viking north and I said something about how &amp;quot;God does not exist&amp;quot;, he told me that their teacher had explained how &amp;quot;during Roman times people understood that the other gods do not exist, but that only God does&amp;quot;. A short exchange ensuing from this statement gave me the impression that &lt;strong&gt;my son is slowly acquiring a Christian faith&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I stated initially, I am an Agnostic. I do not know whether God exists. And I liked to believe that I was open to my son finding his own answers to this question. But this development bothers be. Not because my son might find faith. But because his immaturity and gullibility are exploited by an institution (the Catholic church in the person of my son's religion teacher) to indoctrinate my son. Studies have shown that belief is most prevalent and most strong in persons who have been taught that belief as children. A clear indication that what most people see as their &amp;quot;belief&amp;quot; is mostly unquestioned habituation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am open to my son educating himself and coming to a different conclusion that I did. But I actually feel violated by my son being &amp;quot;made&amp;quot; to believe by singing songs and listening to charming tales. What I feel is similar to a parent worrying about what watching pornography will do to their children's adult sexuality. Or what playing violent videogames will do to their anger management:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that the freedom to decide is taken away from my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But at the same time it was my son who decided to go to that class. And he loves it. So who am I to take that freedom and joy away from him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I certainly don't think that believing in God would in any way harm my son. I even know from numerous studies that religious faith is a strong factor in finding a happy life. So there seems to be nothing that I need to protect my son from. On the other hand, believing that the Earth is flat wouldn't harm my son either – but is that a reason to let him believe such nonsense? To me, religion is on the same level with any other superstition, from not stepping on the cracks between flagstones to Santa Claus. I cannot quite understand why any adult would believe in something so clearly made up as a god.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what do you think I should do? I would greatly appreciate your feedback on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are a religious person, it might help you with finding an answer to my question if you would imagine your child visiting the religious education of &lt;em&gt;another&lt;/em&gt;, fundamentally different religion, or avoiding religious education altogether and visiting an atheist or agnostic class instead. Would you let them, if they wanted to and enjoyed it? Or would you want to enforce your own faith or at least protect them from the indoctrination until they are old enough to separate the singing from the believing? And how would you argue for it (apart from your belief that you know the truth)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In response to some of the comments and answers, I'd like to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intellectually, I'm an agnostic. Emotionally, I'm a torn atheist. Just like many religious people are filled with a painful doubt, or doubters with a secret belief, I &lt;strong&gt;don't know&lt;/strong&gt; whether God exists, but &lt;strong&gt;believe, he doesn't&lt;/strong&gt;. I'm only human, and it is difficult to refrain from believing anything. My stance is with Stanislaw Lem in this matter, who was open to be convinced, but hadn't yet encountered a convincing clue, and in the absence of evidence, chose not to believe. Also, despite my worried question, religion plays no role whatsoever in my day-to-day life. I don't usually think, much less worry, about the existence of God at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading your thought inspiring feedback has helped me become a bit more clear about what worries me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worries me is not that my son might come to believe in God. What worries me is that he is &lt;em&gt;made&lt;/em&gt; to believe by habituation. But even that is not what I'm most afraid of. What worries me most is that my son will be taught those aspects of Christian morality that I find unwholesome (such as the concept of sin and the views on sexuality).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This question is not about how or whether to teach my son about Christian or any other faith. It is about how to deal with a situation where my son wants to partake in schooling that he enjoys for social reasons (his friends are there) but that conflicts with my values.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update [March 2015]&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the large number of views, comments and answers this question has attracted, it is evident that many people share my concerns. This confirms my feeling that I should make a conscious decision and not just &lt;em&gt;laissez faire&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After careful consideration of all the wonderful answers and comments you were so generous to share with me, and a lot of soul-searching to become clearer about what bothers me and what I would ideally wish, I have come to the following insights:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Religion does not play any role at all in my day to day life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My son is in this class not because he is interested in religion, but because of his friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or in other words, he did not currently ask about religion, and there is not need to force that explanation on him now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A person can learn about anything at any time in life. There is no &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to learn about religion at the age of seven.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;ergo&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I would prefer for my son to &lt;em&gt;not encounter religion at all&lt;/em&gt;, unless he becomes curious &lt;em&gt;by himself&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he so enjoys this class, I will let him visit it until the end of this school year, as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18898/should-i-allow-or-forbid-my-son-to-visit-the-education-of-a-religion-that-i-do-n/18918#18918&quot;&gt;corsiKa suggested in her answer&lt;/a&gt;. During these months I will complement his Catholic education in the manner suggested by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18898/should-i-allow-or-forbid-my-son-to-visit-the-education-of-a-religion-that-i-do-n/18919#18919&quot;&gt;Steve Jessop in his answer&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next year I will tell his teachers that I do not want him to visit the religion class and find something interesting for him to do during quiet work time, as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18898/should-i-allow-or-forbid-my-son-to-visit-the-education-of-a-religion-that-i-do-n/18934#18934&quot;&gt;suggested by user3791372&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were many other answers (e.g. by anongoodnurse, Kyle Strand, Joe, Guntram Blohm, CreationEdge, Marianne013, anonymous, and Cort Ammon) and comments that I found helpful and I have upvoted them all. I choose Steve Jessop's answer, because it addresses the aspect I am most concerned about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you all!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Second Update [August 2016]&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has visited Catholic religious class for two years now. Contrary to my intention I let him continue to visit this class, because he so loves to be with his friends, and the alternative is just too boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did pick up a couple of books on ancient and world religions as well as philosophy for kids from the library, and I read to him from them for a few weeks and discussed what we read, until stuff began to repeat and we both got bored by it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will let my son continue to visit the religious class next year, but I plan to make him visit Ethics when it is offered in high school the year after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My impression is that visiting the religious education did not turn my son into a believer. There was a phase when all the singing and tales of a kind, loving God got to him, but he has grown and developed and I think that his basic curiosity and scepticism are keeping the upper hand in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly some ideas will have taken root in him, but it is still too early to know how they will influence his life in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2017-05-17T13:37:05.260" Title="Should I allow or forbid my son to visit the education of a religion that I do not share?" Tags="|education|school|religion|" AnswerCount="19" CommentCount="41" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-05T16:55:22.543" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, this is a decision you and your family need to make.  There's no right answer.  How you feel is fairly common; the feeling that the churches are 'taking advantage' of children to indoctrinate them is from one point of view a logical one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My family isn't all that different, though I would say my wife and I are closer to being &quot;agnostic&quot; (I use quotes, because the modern usage of the word agnostic is not really accurate for what it should mean) than you are, at least from your post here.  We largely don't care about religion one way or the other.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our approach when our kids are old enough to ask questions, will be to encourage them to learn about religion if they're interested in it.  We have a religious relative or two that we expect to eventually push a bit, and we'll encourage them to make themselves available to talk about religion.  We don't mind the idea of going to a church if our kids want to (most likely, if they have a friend who goes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly, though, we intend to discuss religion frankly with our children when they are interested.  We won't push a particular viewpoint, but will be direct and honest with them in answering their questions.  A seven year old undoubtedly can have some very interesting questions, and having sufficient understanding of religious theory - not just religious doctrine, but a more complete understanding of the why and what, as well as history.  If you can discuss religion intelligently and in detail, and not denigrate it outright, your child will have a good basis for making his or her own judgements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This fits in with our parenting philosophy - we don't believe in forcing things on the children (as much as possible), but letting them develop as independent people.  My feeling is that while a seven year old might be vulnerable to indoctrination to some extent, that as they get older if they have good examples in their life of both religious and non-religious people, they will as they age figure things out for themselves.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-03-05T17:05:22.903" LastActivityDate="2015-03-05T17:05:22.903" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-05T17:21:27.317" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of this answer depends on how much you teach, and trust, your child to question what he has been taught, and to allow him to arrive at his own conclusions. Leading &lt;em&gt;by example&lt;/em&gt; is probably the most important factor in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son likes the stories. Can you let him hear all the stories, i.e. take some time in Protestant, Jewish, and Muslim classes, as well as your own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My children were raised in my faith, but were allowed to question; they were also &lt;em&gt;made&lt;/em&gt; to study world religions (including Hinduism and Zoroastrianism) and encouraged to compare and contrast to find if there were truths in any of them. If any of them professed to be Buddhist, Muslim, Atheist, or wanted to convert to Judaism, I'd probably scratch my head, but I'd certainly respect that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As it was, they did go through a questioning phase in their late-adolescence-early adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...imagine your child visiting an atheist or agnostic class instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, I wouldn't have been brave enough to do this. My child is my responsibility (that ceases as they grow older), and to introduce them to world religions (just as with culture) was part of that responsibility. They knew about atheism, of course, but it's hard to teach about a &quot;lack&quot; of something. They also studied philosophy, so know about other systems of morality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...would you want to enforce your own faith or at least protect them from the indoctrination until they are old enough to separate the singing from the believing? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did take this road, for the same reasons as stated above. Parenting doesn't stop at the door of religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the long run, though, children will (and mine did) decide for themselves, and I respect that. (One is a soft agnostic, two are non-denominational Christians, and one is a Protestant.) They seem to respect that I believe differently than they do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The decision to believe is between every person and God (whichever God they believe in) regardless of my beliefs. My responsibility was to guide them in all major aspects of life while they were under my care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-07T02:08:23.307" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T02:08:23.307" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-05T20:04:59.477" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;DISCLAIMER:&lt;/strong&gt; I consider myself an agnostic, and have recently been leaning toward the atheist end of the agnostic spectrum, but I think I'm significantly more inclined toward the possibility of God's existence than you are, and I happen to know a decent amount about the Catholic Church and to have a pretty healthy respect for it (though I have never considered myself a Catholic).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Recommendation&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him continue going to the class as long as he wants to, and to attend worship services (such as Mass) if he so desires. Continue to explain your own doubts about faith and religion and to encourage him to think critically about these issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Critical thinking and freedom&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're right that many people's faith is largely &amp;quot;unquestioned habituation&amp;quot; (a pretty apt phrase), but I find it unlikely that your son would fail to think critically about religion given that you are clearly setting a precedent for doing so (by explaining both your impression of why religious people believe what they do and why you don't share any of those beliefs).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, the Catholic Church actually emphasizes the freedom of faith more, I think, than most religions (albeit in a somewhat non-intuitive way), so I think you're unnecessarily cynical in your perception that his &amp;quot;freedom to decide is [being] taken away&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Attempting to suppress &amp;quot;wrong&amp;quot; ideas&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your son is interested in Catholicism, has some emphasis on the freedom with which one embraces faith, if you attempt to &lt;em&gt;prohibit&lt;/em&gt; him from learning about and participating in the Catholic tradition, you will immediately set yourself up to be perceived as an enemy of free and rational truth-seeking. That is, if you demonstrate to your son that you do not trust him to reach conclusions on his own that (in your mind) are &amp;quot;correct&amp;quot; but must instead &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; him away from certain viewpoints, then you will appear to be attempting to suppress his own exploration, which will appear both hypocritical and inherently wrong, and will make him more skeptical and distrustful of you and your views.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;The Church, theology, and seeking rational viewpoints&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, the Catholic Church is one of the more &amp;quot;rational&amp;quot; religions: they have a strong emphasis on the scholarship and philosophical underpinnings of theology, and on constructing a coherent, comprehensive, and consistent worldview. Unfortunately, this worldview is in my opinion very poorly transmitted to the majority of Catholics; one could jestingly but somewhat truly say that the average Catholic is in fact not very Catholic. I would encourage your son, therefore, to do a lot of &lt;em&gt;reading&lt;/em&gt; about the beliefs of the Church and to talk to members of the community who have actually studied it, especially as he gets older. You may wish to do the same, so that you can have a better understanding when you talk with him about his beliefs. (I recommend &lt;em&gt;On Being Catholic&lt;/em&gt; by Thomas Howard; I've only read the chapter on freedom--which is part of my basis for the comment above--but that chapter alone is excellent, and I expect it's the norm for the book. Another good source is the blog &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Bad Catholic&lt;/a&gt;. Unfortunately, I don't know of any more age-appropriate reference materials, but these may be useful for you even before he's old enough to read them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Opposing viewpoints&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading what Catholic &lt;em&gt;theologians&lt;/em&gt; (as opposed to adherents) have to say about the religion will encourage your son to think critically about the &lt;em&gt;internals&lt;/em&gt; of the religion, but I'm sure you are more concerned about whether he will think critically from an &lt;em&gt;external&lt;/em&gt; perspective, i.e., about whether or not Catholicism actually presents a reasonable worldview at all. You are already giving him things to think about by presenting your own reasons for not believing, but it may be useful (again, particularly as he grows older) to give him external reading material for this. LessWrong, and particularly the writings of Eliezer Yudkowsky, might be a good start (see, for instance, &lt;a href=&quot;http://lesswrong.com/lw/i8/religions_claim_to_be_nondisprovable/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this post&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Religious participation&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son decides to start attending Catholic Mass, you should consider attending it with him, if only to understand what it is he's experiencing. Regarding the particular issue of Communion, I would recommend that you receive a blessing (by crossing your arms in front of your chest, palms open and facing toward yourself) rather than the host.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, you should encourage your son not to mindlessly follow along with songs; he should be thinking about whether he really wants to be singing these songs, and at no point should he feel &lt;em&gt;obligated&lt;/em&gt; to sing. At the moment, he'll probably just keep singing; but as he grows older, he may go back and forth about whether he wants to actually participate in the singing, and you should remind him that this is perfectly acceptable. The emphasis is on &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; letting oneself be (or feel) coerced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Growing up&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, remember that your son is only seven years old. As you mentioned, this means he may be more susceptible to religious ideas. However, it definitely does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; mean that he's particularly likely to maintain whatever beliefs he acquires now through his adolescence or his college years--let alone for his whole life! I mentioned above that your son's study of different belief systems should increase as he gets older. Some people, such as James Joyce, grow up as fervent believers only to reject their faith when they reach adulthood (Joyce presents a compelling semi-fictionalized version of his own &amp;quot;anti-conversion&amp;quot; experience in &lt;em&gt;Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man&lt;/em&gt;); others, such as Thomas Merton and C.S. Lewis grow up atheists but acquire a strong faith relatively late in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are not sending your child to a religious camp. You, as a parent, are in an excellent position to be one of the prime influences on your child's views as he gets older, and you've made it clear that you will be encouraging him to continually doubt and question religion. You will also have many opportunities to expose him to non-religious and anti-religious views from outside the family--which will therefore be untinged by the &amp;quot;uncoolness&amp;quot; associated with the things one's parents believe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, you are raising your son to be a critical thinker and to seek the truth; I do not think you risk indoctrination by allowing him to attend a class that he finds valuable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12044" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T00:24:28.693" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18905" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-05T21:44:13.243" Score="3" ViewCount="9332" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has a large-format Disney puzzle. Some of the pieces have warped slightly, such that it is difficult to put the puzzle together. &lt;strong&gt;How can we &quot;re-flatten&quot; the warped pieces?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far we've tried placing heavy books on top for 4 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4271" LastActivityDate="2023-01-10T13:59:46.040" Title="Re-flattening a warped puzzle" Tags="|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-05T22:38:29.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't understand why this is a problem for you.  It may be that you are actually an anti-theist rather than an agnostic.  How can you, on one hand, make statements to your son that &quot;God does not exist&quot; and on the other hand claim that you &quot;don't know whether God exists&quot;?  You are being inconsistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps God does exist and your son is finding that being.  In that case perhaps you might consider what your son is learning and think about it yourself, at least to try to show that what he is learning doesn't actually disprove your theory that God cannot be known.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, if there is no god, then isn't one goal of life, in your opinion, to be happy?  And if your son is happy in learning about god and finds happiness in this way, what reason do you have to stop him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After all, your agnosticism allows for the case where there might actually be a God.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer the title question, to be a fair agnostic and allow for rational inquiry, you should allow your son to explore the teachings of this religion and then engage him in rational, reasonable discussion once he is of age.  I believe that honest atheists would demand no less right for &quot;free thinking&quot; for their children as they demand for themselves.  And true Catholicism embraces reasonable discourse and inquiry as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13892" LastEditorUserId="13892" LastEditDate="2015-03-06T15:32:27.007" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T15:32:27.007" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18905" CreationDate="2015-03-05T23:07:20.087" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is quoting from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.com/how_10043017_flatten-warped-puzzle.html&quot;&gt;http://www.ehow.com/how_10043017_flatten-warped-puzzle.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Set the warped puzzle on a tabletop or an area on the floor where it will not be disturbed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Press the puzzle pieces together so they fit well if they are loose or jutting up, due to warping.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Lie a large piece of plywood on top of the puzzle if you have one. If not, spread an old tablecloth or sheet over the puzzle to protect it from the heavy objects, particularly if you are going to frame it once the warped areas are flat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Set heavy objects, such as bricks, concrete blocks, heavy books or other weights on top, to press the puzzle down flat. Place the weights on the corners, in the center, or anywhere else the puzzles is warped.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Wait at least 24 hours before removing the weights. The puzzle should be flat once you remove the weights; if not, replace the weights and leave them on the puzzle another couple of days. Frame the puzzle or take it apart, and store the flat pieces in the puzzle box. This ensures it lies flat the next time you attempt the puzzle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;hope this helps, even if its considered off topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13895" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-03-06T12:15:50.710" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T12:15:50.710" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-06T00:24:06.170" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I live in germany, so i had my religious education in german schools, but i'm 47 right now, so my experience is 30-40 years old and might be a bit outdated. However, i don't think that very much has changed since then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, i was baptized as a (protestant) christian, had 13 years of religion at school, and consider myself an agnostic now. So, indoctrination seems not to have worked for me. And, considering how many germans had religion at school (virtually all of them, at least in the former western federal countries), and how many are visiting church except on christmas (very few), indoctrination doesn't seem to have worked for most of them. And, i'd claim that schools don't even try to do this&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your son should be able to decide for himself what he believes in. To make an educated decision, he must know how the religions he considers adopting work. Which are the christian values? Which values does christianity share with judaism, islam, hinduism, and buddhism, and where are the differences? How do you apply the teachings of your religion to everyday life? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throughout my school education, these were the biggest parts of the education we got, mixed with a little church history. When exams included questions like &quot;What would be appropriate methods of tackling this and that moral dilemma&quot;, it was the well-founded answers that gave good grades, not the &quot;The church says X, so you should do X&quot; ones. Even if i consider myself an agnostic now, i think i learned a lot in those lessons that helps me make my own, morally sound decisions. And even if you don't believe in god, i'd assume you accept the main christian values - charity, helpfulness, forgiveness, peacefulness - as concepts that are worth while pursuing, not because some god will punish you for violating them, but because they will make your life and the life of your neighbor better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, at least for german public schools, and the average teacher, i'd say there's nothing to fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, i suggest talking to your son about what they did and learned on a regular basis. This will allow you to intercede in case anything pushes your son into a direction you don't want. You will be able to discuss what he learned with him, give him different views from what his teacher told him, and discuss with him how well - or badly - concepts of the bible apply to today's reality. It will also alleviate your fears of him being indoctrinated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, the decision will be your son's anyway. To you, it shouldn't matter if he believes in no god at all, the christian god, the flying spaghetti monster, or something else. The important thing is how his belief will affect his life and his behaviour, that he gains the ability to apply moral values to his behaviour, and knows how to decide between different courses of action and take responsibility for them. Attending classes and learning religion will most likely enhance these capabilities, not impede them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9192" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T00:24:06.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-06T02:19:48.713" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you may find some insights in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18458/11394&quot;&gt;my answer to a related question&lt;/a&gt;, but I also have some advice specifically for your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Treat it like school&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is taking classes, so &lt;strong&gt;it's your responsibility as a parent to be involved with his course materials&lt;/strong&gt;, help him to learn, and help him develop critical thinking and analytical skills. In this case, your son's class &lt;em&gt;happens&lt;/em&gt; to be a religion class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no reason to deprive your child of an educational experience that he enjoys. By disallowing him this opportunity, he'll only be learning the lesson that sometimes parents make arbitrary decisions based solely on emotion (even if he's not able to articulate that lesson in any terms more complex than, &quot;It's not fair!&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many aspects of the Bible are considered by scholars to be historical accounts. The Bible isn't purely theology. So you can treat events that are commonly accepted as having actually happened as history lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Have open discussions&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other aspects of religion classes directly relate to theology. For obvious examples, we can look at the story of Moses. As you discuss such stories with your son, you can insert some commentary from a scientific standpoint: &quot;According to science, it's not possible that Moses parted the Red Sea. So, it's possible that didn't actually happen, but the story was meant express how Moses and his people overcame a lot of difficulties to escape the Pharaoh. Christians and Jews believe that their God helped Moses actually part the Sea.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, my illustrates a few things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's your responsibility to have an understanding of the topics and lessons his learning if you want to provide meaningful, relevant feedback.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can phrase things in such a way that illustrates not &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt; believes these things: &quot;Science says...&quot; vs &quot;Christians believe...&quot;; &quot;Their God&quot; instead of &quot;God&quot;; &quot;[Other religion/non-religion] believes...&quot; instead of just &quot;Christians believe...&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's important to be non-confrontational, non-judgmental, and not to deride the other beliefs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're going over these lessons, it's important that your son gets a voice as well. If your son's current opinion is different than your own, then your tone or treatment of him shouldn't make him or his opinion feel invalidated. If his opinion is the same as your own, then your tone or treatment of him shouldn't be designed to instill pride. Basically, you don't want this to be an emotional or psychological issue. The worst case scenarios are that he parrots what you believe or doesn't voice his beliefs because he doesn't want to offend or upset you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;You're raising a child, not an automaton&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What you're trying to do is guide your son, so that he learns to exercise his own mind, and come to conclusions about the world and life based on the use of his own faculties.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If he can reason, and analyze, and take in information from a variety of sources and viewpoints, then he'll (someday) be able to come to a decision on his own regarding his Theological stance. It's not any better for him to be indoctrinated with &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; beliefs than it is for him to be indoctrinated by the beliefs of a given church.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may not see &quot;results&quot; immediately, and that's okay. Your son has a lot of life to go through yet, and there are many factors besides parents that can influence adoption of beliefs. In this case, you should be concerned with his long-term journey, not his short-term path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, you'll have to trust in your child. Give him the tools that lend him fend for himself, and then allow him to use those tools. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T04:44:13.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18905" CreationDate="2015-03-06T03:12:15.450" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Puzzles are typically made of a cardboard-like material that is prone to warping due to the differences in moisture on one side of the puzzle piece compared to the other, just like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.impressionshardwoodcollection.com/wood-it/wood-floor-cupping-why-does-it-happen-what-can-you-do/&quot;&gt;wood warps&lt;/a&gt;. The printing on one side leads to an imbalance in moisture: The surface is less porous, so it absorbs less moisture, such as that from humidity. This is why your pieces have cupped upwards/are concave on the printed side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can also look to &lt;a href=&quot;http://werefinish.com/lc_understanding_warped_wood.htm&quot;&gt;techniques for addressing warped wood&lt;/a&gt; when attempting to fix you jigsaw puzzle! Since drawing out moisture with heat on the concave side is probably not a good idea, and misting the printing side with water isn't likely to be effective, it seems that we'll have to address the total moisture of the pieces rather than the individual sides!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would continue to use your weighted press method, but I suggest adding some sort of drying agent, such as a layer of absorbent paper towels. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This still may not work on its own, because the jigsaw puzzle might not currently have much in the way of moisture. Instead, the multi-layered pieces have dried into rigid shapes that were caused by uneven moisture content. In order to address this we &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; have to add some moisture back to the system, in order to soften up the cellulose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we're back to misting the puzzle with water, but on both sides. Not too much, or the layers may split as the moisture reaches them at different times. Once the pieces are damp enough to be a little more flexible, throw them back in your homemade press with the paper towels. Now, the press will be altering their structure, with the aide of moisture, instead of just compressing it like a spring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may be able to take preventative measures on future puzzles (or this same one, if it gets flattened), by applying a non-toxic sealant to the blank side (use food-grade sealant if the puzzle will be around children likely to put the pieces in their mouth).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T03:12:15.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18862" CreationDate="2015-03-06T10:37:09.787" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Constipation is one among the most common concerns affecting women during pregnancy.diet, side effects of medications, heavy metal toxicity, hypothyroidism and hormonal disorders are some factors causing this constipation.&#xA;During this constipation,your stools are hard and difficult to pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Natural Ways To Tackle Constipation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exercises are known to stimulate the bowel as well as to improve digestion,But make sure to get guidance from expert or practice under a certified trainer.&#xA;Fresh fruits and raw vegetables are the best foods to include in your diet during this time.&#xA;Make sure you keep up with your water content throughout the day during this time and stay hydrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13901" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T10:37:09.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-06T11:13:13.210" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think children  go through a phase at that age. I'm 43 and German. My parents are atheists. My father by conviction (1st generation), my mother by tradition (3rd generation atheist). At age 6 I joined the protestant version of the religious education classes at my school, because it was taught by my favourite teacher. I drew lots of camels. Age 11 after switching to  secondary school, I dropped the subject and never looked back. Today I share my parents beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 8 and attends school in Britain. Despite it being a non-Church affiliated state school, when she joined age 4 I found out that they were signing religious songs in school assembly and that their compulsory RE classes emphasised that there were many faiths, but never considered the possibility that faith might be optional. (Cue homework with questions: &quot;How is the birth of a baby celebrated in your faith ?&quot;) I did emphasize at home that I didn't agree with this and that the school was wrong to force this on her (at 4 grownups are always right - this was very confusing for her). She also developed a strong interest in Greek Myths and in the end she processed the Christian God as just &quot;one more God&quot; from a  story. Now at nearly 9 years old, she has lost all interest in the subject and is approaching the family consensus (there is no God).&#xA;So my advice would be to let your son continue his classes, but voice your opinion where you disagree. As you son matures and starts seeing his teachers more critically your voice will carry more weight than theirs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13902" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T11:13:13.210" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2015-03-06T14:59:03.773" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oy, tough one.&#xA;I can tell it's a real tightwire; it sounds like you would just rather give in if for no other reason than to get some respite but you know that's counterproductive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what I like to:&#xA;&quot;Honey, if you eat that cookie right now, it will taste good and your tummy will feel happy. BUT!! Then the sugar will get &lt;em&gt;all over your teeth&lt;/em&gt; and you'll have to brush them extra-carefully right after you eat the cookie. Since you have to brush your teeth anyway before bedtime, wouldn't that be a better time to have one?&quot; This acknowledges her yen for the cookie, points out an immediate consequence (she'll have to brush her teeth right afterward), and suggests an alternative (have the cookie before bedtime teethbrushing).&#xA;Typically an impatient child wants it NOW so remind her she will have to immediately brush her teeth. This just might make a cookie less appealing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the tot is simply overwrought and beyond reason, walk her into her bedroom, say &quot;count to _______ (whatever highest number she knows) and say hello to ______ (favourite stuffed toy) for me.&quot;&#xA;Then walk out and, provided nothing is actually wrong with her, IGNORE for 10 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very hard to stay unemotional about this ongoing power struggle, but that's why it IS one! She needs to see you're not pliable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offering this reason why it's better to wait for a later cookie may seem clumsy and time-consuming, but it sidesteps the usual conflict about her getting her own way. Having a goofy tone sometimes helps as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13905" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T14:59:03.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18916" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-06T16:38:00.503" Score="0" ViewCount="1325" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has slept with me most his life, due to a C-section on my part and a bad belly on his, which made him wheeze from acid reflux. I felt better touching his belly to know he was OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I can't even set him in his crib without him going nuts. He won't even take naps there. It has a serious effect on my and his father's sleeping, because he tosses and turns. I've tried binkies (pacifiers), blankets, singing, putting him in &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; he's asleep, waiting, telling him I'm here I'll be right back, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help with the crib transition?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13906" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-08T19:50:56.200" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T14:20:48.330" Title="How can I help my one year old transition to sleeping in crib?" Tags="|sleep|sleep-training|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-06T17:38:21.403" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our family is approaching this same decision.  I found this quote from user what helpful &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;there is a difference between &quot;encouraging your child to learn about religion if they're interested in it&quot; and allowing a religious institution time alone with your child on a regular basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest teaching your child that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No human is perfect&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anyone can make mistakes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anyone may have been misled, and as a result, may mislead others&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is always ok to change your mind about what you believe in light of new facts.  Point out that even religions of faith do this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Everyone has some amount of doubt in the things that they believe, a lot or little.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For some things, like the nature of God, no proof is possible.  Yet, the human ability to have a strong belief in something, regardless of proof has always been a major factor in human achievement.  From unparalleled advancements in construction due to religious monument building, to scientific discovery and invention caused by a culture of persistent faith in the scientific method, society excels when belief is fostered and encouraged.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Conversely, suffering is the result of belief being forced onto people. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This should make indoctrination a little harder to achieve in your child.  Then I would let him continue to attend the Catholic lessons if he wants, but also require at least a cursory investigation into at least 2 other belief structures(of his choice) that are neither Christian or Agnostic/Athiest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13908" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-06T18:19:27.047" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T18:19:27.047" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-06T18:18:41.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You do have every right to be concerned: if the course was merely education of religion, your child would not be singing songs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you pull him out to protect him from these perceived dangers, there is no way for you to rationalize to him why except &quot;it's for your own good&quot;. You can't explain to your child that passing the offering plate without putting an offering in it is an embarrassing thing. He will hear the words, and maybe the individual concepts, but not the social implications of a statement like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even if you did, what would he do with this knowledge? He is likely to bring it up in his classes, and the teachers certainly wouldn't appreciate that. He wouldn't be equipped to hold a debate on the matter, he could merely say things like &quot;well my dad says&quot;, and then they will refute the statement. Now he has to make a choice between believing you and believing them, and I don't see that, at his age, being a healthy thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you take him out, it has to be a &quot;because I said so&quot; thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are going to pull him out, don't do it in the middle of the year. He's already done this far, and once he hits summer break it's likely going to be out of sight, out of mind. Next year, ensure he has a solid alternative, one that is going to interest him more. &lt;strong&gt;This is going to take a lot of work on your part. You will have to design the course work for him, and have the proctor for that time period give him the work you design.&lt;/strong&gt; You said he was interested in middle age European history, so why not build on that? Make up lesson plans for that time during which he (and who knows, maybe other kids with similar minded parents) can learn about all the exciting things the Vikings, Celts, Romans, Greeks, Egyptians (I'm just listing tribes from Civilization II right now, don't mind me...) did during history. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you take the time to teach him the things he's fired up about, he will not forget it his entire life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-07T23:35:37.090" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T23:35:37.090" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-06T18:19:57.093" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the key question to ask is,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is your son capable of not believing what he's told in his Religion class?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If he's capable of disbelieving it&lt;/strong&gt;, then he's not being brainwashed, and there's no great crisis. You would do well to discuss with him that the facts in religion are less settled than they are in most of the subjects he's learning at that age. The fact that there are different Religion classes, and that the pupils are taught different and perhaps contradictory things in them, might help him to this realisation! However, those you list all have monotheism in common, so you can't contrast with Religion classes that are polytheistic, nor an Atheism class, nor a Deism-Rejecting-Organised-Religion class. Therefore it's important to expose him to the existence of faiths other than those catered to by his school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take the example at hand: &quot;during Roman times people understood that the other gods do not exist, but that only God does&quot;. This is true, in the sense that it describes the conversion to Christianity of the Roman Empire that you've previously discussed with your son. People &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; come to understand that, but the fact people came to understand something 1700 years ago isn't to say it's true. Catholics, including his teacher, do believe it is true of course. Explain that Catholic class is there to tell him what Catholics believe. However, not everyone believes it, and you're one of the ones that doesn't. Hindus don't believe it either, or Daoists, or Shintoists, or neo-Pagans. It shouldn't be beyond him to understand that his teacher is presenting one view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If he's incapable of disbelieving it&lt;/strong&gt;, because he in effect believes that schoolteachers are always right about everything, then you have quite a good reason to opt out until he's more mature. You're (in effect) in the same position as people who home-school because they don't want their children to be taught that the planet is more than 6500 years old, except that the class is optional precisely &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; the school accepts there's no need to teach children the things taught in the Religion class. You're being offered the opportunity to pick and choose. If it weren't for the fact he's already in the class, then since you're non-religious yourself I'd recommend to keep him out of any class that teaches one particular religion as truth. I don't know the German school system, when he's older will there be classes that teach the principal beliefs of multiple religions &quot;from the outside&quot;, not as truth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As against that, he's been doing this for six months and he enjoys it and his friends all go. So forbidding him to do it might do more harm than the Catholic teacher is doing. I'd guess he's not yet at an age where he'll believe something &lt;em&gt;simply because&lt;/em&gt; his parents believe the opposite, but you have to consider in that light what happens if you forbid something that he wants to do, and refuse him access to information he wants to have, that his school and his society in general don't hold to be harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7847" LastEditorUserId="7847" LastEditDate="2015-03-06T18:39:35.553" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T18:39:35.553" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-06T20:53:55.330" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The decision of whether to allow a child to attend religious services is a complicated one.  As a general rule, a large number of people believe &quot;Religion is good, as long as it's my religion.  You know, the right one.&quot;  That attitude can make it difficult to trust the religions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found a few quotes that feel dissonant to me.  Before going into my opinion on how to proceed, I wanted to draw attention to them.  I think that a lot of this situation can be resolved within your self, so it's helpful to see places where you are not necessarily thinking consistently with yourself.  Think of these not as attacking your psyche, but rather suggesting places where you can find breathing room while trying to act on a really difficult subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My son has given himself a broad education (his teachers and parents&#xA;  are only the facilitators that help him gain the knowledge he seeks,&#xA;  e.g. by reading to him what he cannot or by answering his questions).&#xA;  He is very interested in everything from the natural sciences to&#xA;  history. One of his favourite topics are the Romans (a context, in&#xA;  which I explained to him the formation and development of&#xA;  Christianity), another are the Vikings, Celts and Germanic tribes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This quote shows an opinion that your son is an independent self, not simply believing what he is told, but actively questioning and learning in his own directions.  This seems dissonant when paired with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am open to my son educating himself and coming to a different&#xA;  conclusion that I did. But I actually feel violated by my son being&#xA;  &quot;made&quot; to believe by singing songs and listening to charming tales.&#xA;  What I feel is similar to a parent worrying about what watching&#xA;  pornography will do to their children's adult sexuality. Or what&#xA;  playing violent videogames will do to their anger management:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note the part about the world is dissonant with the previous quote, but the rationalization is all about &quot;What I feel,&quot; not any statement about your son).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now let's look at a dissonance which comes right from the question itself:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Should I allow or forbid my son to visit the education of a religion&#xA;  that I do not share?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contrast against...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I feel that the freedom to decide is taken away from my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These lines also strike me as dissonant.  If I may be so bold, it strikes me the freedom you seek to take away may not be your son's, but rather your own freedom to decide for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we've found some dissonance in our own head.  This can be frustrating, but it can also be revealing because where there is dissonance, there is wiggle room to break free from your own opinions and get closer to what may be &quot;the truth&quot; about the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found there is a balance between responsibility and control.  When they are balanced, people are happy.  When they have more control than responsibility, they act immaturely.  When they have more responsibility than control, they act fearfully.  When raising a child, we start with tremendous responsibility and great control (other than naptime.  There's no control over naptime).  In the end, we will lose all control (at the very least at our own passing), and in the best cases, we lose most or all responsibility (its called growing up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The interesting journey happens in between.  There's some magic ideal floating around that somehow we retain complete responsibility and control until they hit 18, then responsibility and control plumit and we see if the kid (I mean &quot;newly minted adult&quot;) thrives or not.  I don't know where this ideal came from, it really isn't very helpful for making decisions.  I like to think the curve is a bit more fluid, with more room for the kid to do awesome amazing things well beyond the parent's control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you've hit one of those interesting points.  Without you realizing, you lost a bit of control.  It's okay.  It happens to all of us (no, I mean it... all us.  Every last one).  The issue is that you feel you still have responsibility which is no longer balanced by control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good news: this is something &lt;em&gt;you can do&lt;/em&gt;!  You can balance your feelings of responsibility against the reality of your control.  You even have choice in the matter!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can reduce your feelings of responsibility.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can gain control.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can do a mix of both.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if you ever want the kid to get out of the nest, at some point you're going to have to reduce your feelings of responsibility.  I'm not going to claim that you should just &quot;suck it up&quot; and let him do what he wants, but recognize that there may be some flexing here on your behalf.  Now, let's get into the control bit, which is where you're really interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can simplify the task of controlling another human being into thinking of the carrot and the stick.  True, the world is far more nuanced than that age old metaphor, but for a first pass which gives you room to explore your own solution, carrot and stick is good enough.  You can either act in a way that tries to draw your son to you (and your opinions), or act in a way which drives him away from others (and their opinions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you have complete responsibility and control, the stick is pretty easy.  Just tell those nasty teachers to mind their own business, and shove your son back into quiet time.  It's not so simple anymore.  You don't have complete control.  Your son &lt;em&gt;likes&lt;/em&gt; his religious time.  He feels it is beneficial to his person.  It's too late to just rewind the clock and try again. (this is a good thing.  Life is far more interesting without do-overs).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stick is surprisingly ineffective here.  What can you actually do to &quot;forbid&quot; your child?  He believes he is better for these religious times, so you are literally going to have to say &quot;Believe me, momma/pappa knows best.&quot;  You are going to have to drive him away from that side of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does it look like from his perspective?  Either you rescued him from something bad, or you drove him away from something he liked.  If its the latter, now you're the bad person, and you'll find you lose even more control.  If its the former, then that means he believes you know best.  I word it that way because of the word &quot;believes.&quot;  For the stick to work in your favor, you are literally dependent on him believing that you know better than the rest of the world.  That's a scary statement of responsibility for someone who prefers the label &quot;agnostic&quot; over &quot;atheist.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't recommend the stick, its just ugly.  So what does the carrot have in store?  Carrots have a nice treat: they can grow a young child's mind.  If he can talk to you, and try to accept your beliefs as well as those religious ones, he will be a better person (and will prove that he's above silly brainwashing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk with your child.  Use what control you have to work with him to open up about religion.  You gave an anecdote suggesting he believes God is real.  Don't use a stick to beat that out of him, use a carrot and work with him to help him understand how to believe such things without losing track of everything else he is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For all you know, this could be a watershed conversation with your child.  Perhaps this drives them to explore philosophy.  There's centuries of material of philosophers trying to grapple with the realty and un-reality of God, gods, spirits, physics, and generally all sorts of stuff.  Perhaps this drives them to explore debate.  There's centuries of material of debaters explaining how to use different techniques to sway opinions (and how to identify them when they're being used on you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or perhaps this is just a phase, and they come back to &quot;sharing your beliefs.&quot;  In that case, aren't you glad you chose not to use a stick?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I do have to give fair treatment to the other side of the argument: there is the fear that one's child is going to become a religious fanatic who denies their own parents and spits on their grave.  &lt;strong&gt;Phew&lt;/strong&gt; that was a frightening image to type out.  Look, I prefer carrot over stick.  Treat it as an opportunity.  If you let them explore now, they'll still talk to you about it as they explore.  There's no sense in delaying it until an age where they no longer are interested in talking to good ol' mom and pop.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Now go back to thinking about carrots!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2015-03-06T20:53:55.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18864" CreationDate="2015-03-06T21:26:03.463" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Besides the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18866/13675&quot;&gt;very good advice&lt;/a&gt; of @anongoodnurse I think there is a major point to make: your parents can't magically drain any energy from you. Not at all. That's just a dangerously misleading figure of speech. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can use each moment for good - or for bad: to fight, to block your feelings, to drone on internally about yesterdays problems, ... You feel drained if you mull unproductively over an internal conflict for a length of time, and the feeling stops immediately when you gather the discipline to stop this. And that's my point: this is nothing your parents can do to you, but something &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; do to yourself, again and again!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, when talking to your parents you are in a difficult position until you manage to change yourself and the relationship to them. But watch out: if you blame them for what you do when they are gone, you eerily sound like your parents - you blame your own failings on others (that is, on them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, chances are that you would feel just as drained as you do if the contact would stop. The only way to find out what is really happening is to stop thinking this is something outside of yourself, and watch yourself lovingly and very closely. Then, change will appear naturally, when you are prepared to let it happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, your story is obviously something you desperately need to tell. You might regularily set some time aside to do this - to a sympathetic psychotherapist might even be best - but then stop until the next &quot;round&quot;. Don't let it rule your whole life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13675" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T16:14:49.837" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-06T21:46:51.180" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is just a human and he will always face this kind of situation. Forbidding him to make his own choices and mistakes will have the effect that he will never learn the consequences of his decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see you are seeing your kid as a victim of brainwashing rather than having had the empowering chance to choose how he will spend his time, and this is what emotionally disturbs you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suppose your son had to choose between studying newtonian mechanics or relativistic mechanics, and he choose to study the first. Of course, we know that relativistic mechanics is more &quot;true&quot;, and you could always interpret that his physics teachers are brainwashing him into believing newtonian mechanics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that the scenario of studying newtonian instead of relativistic mechanics would not make you feel your son as a victim, but studying religion instead of non-religion will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dont take religion too seriously. My mother is catholic, my father was long atheist or agnostic, and I was atheist too (I am an engineer). But in a certain point of my life, believing in some aspects of religion proved to be very useful to me and my father, so we both have a little of this view on us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always learn from both sides. You will learn thru your kid some good aspects of religion, and he will learn from you some good aspects of your religion (in my view, atheism is also a religion). Why to strive for monotony when you can have the benefit of a colorful life, where everybody is giving their contribution?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the aspects of religion that for you are unwholesame: You can always tell him that he doesnt have to believe those two specific aspects that you dont like, so you can overwrite the teachings that he has! You dont have to be powerless against this two points, you can take an active role and change it! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-07T23:45:54.147" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T23:45:54.147" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18923" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18962" CreationDate="2015-03-06T23:31:34.327" Score="23" ViewCount="25687" Body="&lt;p&gt;A mom at my daughter's school told me that her son told her that my 6-year-old daughter told him that she doesn't like herself and wants to kill herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm really not sure how to approach this with my daughter.  She definitely is the sort of person who will say things for attention, and of course the kindergarten gossip line is hardly reliable.  I suspect she wouldn't be saying something like that if she hadn't heard it somewhere before; I know she hasn't heard it from me.  Her mom and I are not together, and it's possible that she heard it at her mom's house, or on TV (again, not at my house.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have noticed that my daughter seems to be taking criticism very hard recently.  For instance, the other day I was showing her how to hold cheese so she could cut it with a cheese slicer without her fingers being in a position where they could get cut, and she burst into tears.  (I only let her slice cheese with a cheese slicer under supervision.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has occurred to me that she is at about the age when a real understanding of death can come, and that she may be processing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid that if I bring up what she (supposedly) said to a kid a school, then she will feel like she's in trouble.  But I don't want to ignore the issue if she really needs help.  How should I respond to this?  How can I tell if she is depressed, and how can I help her if she is?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13909" LastActivityDate="2018-06-11T13:33:14.800" Title="What to do when a 6-year-old expresses suicidal thoughts?" Tags="|primary-schooler|death|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18924" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-07T00:19:05.397" Score="4" ViewCount="242" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 day old daughter is experiencing severe colic. The crying and leg stretching usually starts 20 minutes after the bottle with diary formula is finished. It takes around 2 hours after symptoms decrease and she falls asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beside dairy we also feed her with breast milk from a bottle. Unfortunately my daughter is not successful in drinking from the breast directly. Furthermore not enough mother milk is produced to feed her all day. Currently 30% of the bottles are mother milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No colic occurs when we give her mother milk. Furthermore she can sleep 4.5 hours without interruption after she finished the bottle of mother milk. Probably she compensates for sleep she missed while suffering colic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am able to soothe her by letting her suck on my pink while carrying her around and in that way the crying and leg muscle stretching stops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her body temperature, weight gain and diapers are all fine. Her skin is a bit scaly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could she already have developed a dairy allergy in such short timeframe? Or should we just be patient and wait until she becomes used to dairy? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is my second child. My oldest daughter only showed such intense crying when she was very hungry or was ill. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suffer myself from a (pea)nut allergy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4436" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-21T13:39:46.497" LastActivityDate="2019-01-25T17:04:35.420" Title="What can cause colic on dairy formula and not on breastmilk?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|formula|colic|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6652" CreationDate="2015-03-07T04:51:45.733" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;An unripe banana will lead to constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are 2 factors when considering bananas and constipation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;starch vs. simple sugars:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A green banana with some yellow is 80% starch and 7% sugar.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A mostly yellow banana is 25% starch and 65% sugar.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A spotted and specked banana is 5% starch and 90% sugar.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Starch is significantly harder to break down &amp;amp; digest than sugar.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;pectin vs. pectinase:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;As bananas ripen they produce ethylene gas.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Ethylene causes the production of an enzyme called pectinase.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Pectinase breaks down the pectin between the cells of a banana.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Less pectin makes it considerably soften and easier for the body to digest.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So unless you or your child has diarrhea, let your bananas get very soft :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13916" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-06-13T09:54:07.483" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T09:54:07.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18657" CreationDate="2015-03-07T07:08:28.800" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son who is three years old told me that a kid was always hitting him, I approached the mother of the kid and asked her how could my son make his kid stop it. Because she should be the best person to know how her kid ticks, so that  I could transform it into something useful for my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately, I learned that the kid was not bullying my son so much, they were just annoying each other sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2017-12-24T08:37:50.980" LastActivityDate="2017-12-24T08:37:50.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18880" CreationDate="2015-03-07T09:47:49.417" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't read through the other answers, so my answer may well add nothing new, but your question is very close to my own situation, so maybe something here will add some useful feedback for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm male. Does that matter when it comes to parenting or jobs? No. I &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to spend time with my child, and I &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to actively take part in raising him. My wish to do so is completely independent of traditional roles or the demands of feminism. I do not care what other people think a man (or woman) must or must not do. I myself want to be a &amp;quot;mother/father&amp;quot; to my child (in addition to the other adults of our family, including the biological mother, the grandparents and friends). I also &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to have an occupation that helps me earn a living and fulfills me. I would get depressed and kill myself if I had to stay at home. I need to work and meet people and &lt;em&gt;do things&lt;/em&gt; if I want to remain emotionally healtch. So there is no question (and I want to emphasize every word of this):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;I. Want. Both.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;To work &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; to be a parent.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So no matter the circumstances, that is what I will do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to be the same. So there is no question what you must do: what you want. You want to be a parent and you want to work, so you must be a parent and work. That answer is as clear as a 100% vacuum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only question is &lt;strong&gt;how can you do that?&lt;/strong&gt; And the answer to that question is easy also: By just doing it and not worrying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For one, you have your grandparents to help you with parenting. For another, your child will only need your undivided 24-hour attention for a very short time. He or she will need that you spend time with him and care for them, but the actual time they will need you to be physically and emotionally present will diminish with each year of their lives. So, making full use of the support of your family and whatever institutions and services you have available (crib, kindergarten, school, babysitters), the time you have available for your studies and, later, work, look something like this (always assuming you are a single parent with grandparents):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Time available for work in relation to child age&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;1st year: 0&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With breastfeeding [read why you need to do that!] and stuff you will be too tired to do anything but care for your child and sleep&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;2nd year: a few hours on some days&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will have a few hours to yourself each day, but after a full year of being a 24/7-mother you will find yourself wanting to just relax, do sports or have quality time with your friends, so actual working time is still slim&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;2 years old to five years old: 4 to 8 hours each week day actual working time&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the time when you can seriously start to study again&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;6 years and older: your child can now go several days each week without seeing you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the time when you can start to work&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm the 47 year old single father of a seven year old boy, currently studying in my fifth year. From my own experiences and what I have seen of other families, with both working and studying parents, this is what I can recommend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take two to three years off for the first years of your child's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Study, while your child is in kindergarten and the first one or two years of elementary school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When your child is around 7 or 8, start to work in earnest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be a phyisican, you will be able to make it work. There are many options available to single parents, talk to an equal opportunities representative of the university, hospital or whatever when you get to that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally: &lt;strong&gt;A happy mother that a child sometimes misses is always better than an unhappy mother who is permanently available.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-11T13:47:50.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2015-03-07T13:45:22.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I had the same question, I did not base my behaviour on the opinion of the specialists or scientists. Some years ago, they would say this creates dependency, and now I always see some specialists saying that this is good to reassure that the baby is worth being loved. As you see, specialits opinion are always changing and you can always see it one way or other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I myself decided to hug and cary my son as often as I can, because I know there will be an age where he would be too heavy for me, or this would be too annoying to him and I will not be able to do this anymore. So better enjoy it now than regret it later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even if you are worried that you might be overdoing it, remember that your partner is doing the opposite, so the kid is getting a ballance between you two, what his healthy anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastEditorUserId="9589" LastEditDate="2015-03-07T14:03:13.610" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T14:03:13.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18932" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-07T18:58:06.813" Score="9" ViewCount="2263" Body="&lt;p&gt;What effective methods (preferably backed by some sort of data) are there for avoiding religious indoctrination or pressure on a child? Some of the possible factors I'm thinking of are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teachers and other authority figures asserting their own religious views as fact or just drawing inappropriate focus to them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Desire to fit in with other children who are part of religious community.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Religious themes in popular books/entertainment/etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Harassment/bulling from other children - &quot;You're going to hell!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Concepts of guilt/shame/etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there good approaches to develop an ability to understand others' beliefs as just &quot;their beliefs&quot;/&quot;their story&quot; rather than &quot;the truth&quot;, or is that too much to expect for young children? Is introducing religious stories/characters early, but on the same basis as fiction/super-heroes, an effective way of framing it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question is somewhat inspired by &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18898/should-i-allow-or-forbid-my-son-to-visit-the-education-of-a-religion-that-i-do-n&quot;&gt;Should I allow or forbid my son to visit the education of a religion that I do not share?&lt;/a&gt;, but I believe it's significantly different. I'm not looking for a solution to a difficult family dynamic that has already arisen, but ways to raise a child to peacefully coexist and interact with dominant religious communities whose beliefs you don't want imposed on your child. Based on my own family's background and the community we live in, I don't anticipate this being a big issue for our child (now 1yo), but I know it will come up in some ways and I'd like ideas for what to be prepared for, and I think it's an worthwhile topic in general. At this point aspects of the question that apply to early childhood up through preschool/early-elementary are the most relevant to me, but I'd also like to hear ideas for later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9837" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T21:43:49.933" Title="Ways to shield a child against religious indoctrination/pressure?" Tags="|development|religion|peer-pressure|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-07T19:29:05.320" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can see that you are very conflicted and I imagine that is difficult. Normally, I don't respond to threads like this, but considering the subject, I felt compelled to share my experience in this area. Perhaps it will help you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was raised in a very religious Protestant home. I genuinely believed in God, 7-day creation story, and Adam and Eve. I was taught to believe that my faith was the ONLY right faith and every other religion was wrong. I was taught to cast off virtually all scientific theory (evolution, dinosaurs) as deceitful.  I felt strongly about my beliefs until I was about 12 years old, then things started to change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school in my district was not a very good school and my parents were worried that my education would suffer. So, they enrolled me in a local Catholic school known for providing a good education. Though I was Protestant, I was required to attend Catholic religion class. My parents were careful to remind me that not everything I would hear was right because they were Catholic and they didn’t know the truth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Within the first week of my new school and Catholic education, I started to see something interesting that (it seemed) no one else saw. The religions were very similar in many ways. My parents never told me that! But, I also saw something that shook me. &#xA;One day as I sat in Catholic religion class, the teacher made a point to remind the class that the Catholic Church is the only right church and all others were wrong (hummmm, where did I hear that before?).  The Catholic teacher said that non-believers would go to hell. After the teacher made that statement, I asked how he could say something like that. Declaring that non-believers will go to hell is passing judgment – which according to Christian belief is a reserved for God alone. I pointed out that the Bible says “judge not lest ye be judged” and the religion teacher was judging non-Catholics and condemning them to hell. Clearly, I was sent to the principal’s office for disrupting class but this was a valuable lesson for me. With that, I realized that BOTH religions completely disregarded aspects of faith that didn’t suit them and they refused to acknowledge similarities or shared goodness of the other religions teachings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of this experience, I wanted to learning about other religions (Hindu, Muslim, Judaism). I was less interested in faith, per se, and more interested in understanding how religion impacts people’s lives and behavior throughout history. And, over time I have found that virtually all religions have good and bad parts to them. In the end, exposure to religion can be a good thing! For me, it sparked strong interest in sociology, anthropology, history, and science. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on these experiences, I recommend the following. If your child has expressed an interest in religion – let him learn about religion… But make sure that the exposure is balanced. Teach him about ALL RELIGIONS! Show him the good and the bad in all the different religions. Show him how very different religions are similar and where they are different. And, show him how faith impacts the behavior of people with whom he will interact for the rest of his life. This type of education will help him to learn tolerance and understanding for all different kinds of people. You were right to say that your child is gullible - children are so trusting! As his parent, the best thing you can do is help him learn tolerance and balance by exposure to a variety of different religions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck. I hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13924" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T19:29:05.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-07T20:32:32.643" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You seem to be wanting affirmation that pulling him out of these classes will be OK. Of course it will. These hours that he's spending learning about a star-wars-like character could be spent furthering his practical, of-use education. From personal experience, teachers of religious education push their own personal ideology and dress it up as &quot;Religion&quot;. This is unacceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may seem an obvious point, but you seem to be blaming the school for giving him uninspiring work if he doesn't go to a religious class and making it an almost deliberate choice that he has to go. This will be because there will be a few kids who don't study R.E., and so the school doesn't bother to set work, the teacher most likely just makes it up on the spot. This is not an excuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take some responsibility for his learning and set him some work yourself for this quiet time through discussion with his teachers (I think the teachers will be very responsive to this idea). Maybe he's weak in a subject and needs more work - you could buy exercise books for more work to be marked by you and him together (he is your child, and more parents should get more involved in their children's learning). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he likes a particular subject and wants to do more work in it. Teach him the importance of reading / self study techniques etc, maybe a musical instrument etc. The teachers who 'babysit' the kids who don't study these religious studies will mostly either be teaching other classes at the same time, or themselves have free periods to do marking or other teacher work, so they won't care what he does as long as it's safe, he's safe and not a burden on them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13925" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T20:32:32.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18932" CreationDate="2015-03-07T22:59:09.943" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find a community of like-minded folks.&lt;/strong&gt; With most religions, this is your church, synagogue, mosque, temple, etc. It is somewhat harder with atheism or agnosticism. The key is not necessarily practicing the religion, but much more giving your kid a way to feel connected, and know that even if classmates are all Other Religion, there are still plenty of nice people from Our Religion or Our Philosophy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be up front with teachers or childcare workers.&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;Our family is [religion or philosophy].&quot; This is especially important if you have dietary restrictions (e.g. kosher, halal, no caffeine), or you don't celebrate various holidays. We have had very few instances of religion overtly entering curriculum (and all before official schooling), but most teachers were happy to be extra cautious to respect different cultures and tone down &quot;Easter&quot; or &quot;Christmas&quot; parties to more general celebrations. This can help them deal with issues of bullying once they arise, too --forewarned is forearmed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Actively seek out examples of famous people who share the same faith.&lt;/strong&gt; Much like the first suggestion, it gives a source of pride and sense of belonging and normalcy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be up front about differences.&lt;/strong&gt; Kids will notice (and be constantly reminded by society and their peers) that their family does different things anyway. Acknowledge that. &quot;Santa doesn't visit us. It doesn't mean you're bad, it just means you don't celebrate Christmas.&quot; Explain traditions or observances of other faiths when asked. Having the background knowledge of why other people celebrate a holiday helps my kids understand why &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; don't, and they tend to be more calm about the difference as a result. It helps that we have our own cool traditions ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Encourage a calm, unruffled approach to teasing.&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;Ha ha, you're [religion or philosophy]&quot; should really be met with &quot;Yes, you're correct, and I am happy about that.&quot; Taunts rarely continue if they aren't a source of hurt. If somebody does use this as a way to bully, or pulls &quot;you're going to hell because you're [religion or philosophy]&quot;, get teachers involved to get that behavior to stop. Have conversations if it happens -- &quot;a lot just don't understand our religion, ignorance makes them afraid, and they can say mean things.&quot; This is the hardest of all -- &lt;em&gt;there will be plenty of experiences&lt;/em&gt;, both intentionally and accidentally offensive, that remind a child they're different and some people think that's bad. Always be ready to sympathize and remind them that it's really OK to believe what your family does. (See above for positive community and examples to rebuild the sense of belonging that mean people may try to injure.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T22:59:09.943" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-07T23:41:49.033" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have trained him well, he will be able to discern truth from error, and you must respect his ability to do so himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no danger in exposing a person to an idea that you believe is false, because if it is in fact false he will determine it is so. The real danger is in withholding from your son information which you believe to be false (in religion or otherwise) because in doing so you may accidentally shield him from the truth. Falsehood is easily dispelled by a rational man. Truth, however, is not always so easily found.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words: running information through too many filters corrupts it. Let him get his facts from the source and he will learn to make wise decisions. If he doesn't receive information from all sides, he will only learn to follow your decisions and not to think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13929" LastActivityDate="2015-03-07T23:41:49.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18932" CreationDate="2015-03-08T02:29:17.180" Score="1" Body="&lt;h1&gt;What are you truly asking?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going to say something which might sound a bit harsh, but what you seem to be asking is &lt;em&gt;How can I indoctrinate my child with a post modernist world view?&lt;/em&gt;. You are attacking teachers for &lt;em&gt;&quot;asserting their own religious views as fact or just drawing inappropriate focus to them&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and then go on with asking how to make the child in question see &quot;&lt;em&gt;others' beliefs as just 'their beliefs'/'their story' rather than 'the truth'&lt;/em&gt;&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the good news is, that's not necessarily a 'bad' question. After all, a psychologist (or &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indoctrination&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;) will tell you indoctrination is a natural part of education. And it's necessary that you teach your believes to your children, because everybody needs things to believe in and something to drive them (be it as an atheist in the 'positive hormones' leading to a chase of 'happiness' or as a Christian in a God and heaven), but it's also good to realize that what you are doing is actively indoctrinating a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, what I am trying to say here is that you feel like there is &lt;em&gt;an innocent non-indoctrinated child that has to defend himself to religious indoctrination attempts&lt;/em&gt;, whereas the situation is more like that we have &lt;em&gt;an indoctrinated child that is being exposed to other world views&lt;/em&gt;. To be really clear here, I am not trying to say that it's bad that you are trying to indoctrinate your child, that's not why I brought that up! What I am just trying to say is that the situation isn't as bad as it might look at first sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;So what can you do?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, at the same time I do agree with you that it's not a good thing if a child hears only about one set of believes and is blindly indoctrinated with those. The good news is, apparently you have believes that differ from those of the children in class, so that wasn't an issue in the first place. The bad news is, that same thing makes blind indoctrination for you harder if that's truly your goal (and I sincerely don't know whether it is, that's up to you). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, a difference that some people make between indoctrination and education is whether a child is taught to think critically for themselves. Technically I disagree with that notion (after all, our way of critical thinking is part of being indoctrinated with a lot of western and originally Christian values), but at it's core I absolutely do believe and agree that it's crucial to teach a child to think for themselves. And to achieve this it's best to be open about those differences and discuss &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; you think what you think. And once they are old enough discuss &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; you think others are wrong (or if you're agnostic: probably wrong) and how you got to the point where you're now. Discuss the things you lived through and how those things shaped you as a person. Make a child actually understand you, rather than just trust you (or famous people) based on authority or because you took them to a community of like minded people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes, that &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; end up with a child concluding that your faith isn't correct. And yes, that tends to suck badly. But honestly, it's fairer to give a child a chance to think for themselves than to try to trick them to just believe what you believe. And once they make their own decisions they will also know how to react to the situations you describe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Unimportant post script&lt;/strong&gt;: A child telling another child that he is 'going to hell' and calling that bullying is quite bad as well... I mean, it definitely could be part of actual bullying, however on it's own it's just someone expressing their concerns and fears. And something that &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; bullying is trying to make such a child (or person) shut up or forcing a school teacher to have general (post modernist) celebrations instead of a small easter party in his class. (Mind you, regarding the 'go to hell'-thing, I think it's absolutely crucial to make sure that such a child understands that others do not necessarily think the same things and probably do not share his concerns, but that's not the same as everybody just shutting up)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6902" LastEditorUserId="6902" LastEditDate="2015-03-09T22:54:02.870" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T22:54:02.870" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18942" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-08T04:50:31.753" Score="3" ViewCount="2027" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can flying cause any problems during any stage of pregnancy ?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is there any harmful effect on the baby or mother ?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13920" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2015-03-08T13:28:16.983" LastActivityDate="2020-02-11T04:35:33.900" Title="Flight travel during pregnancy" Tags="|pregnancy|travel|flying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18942" CreationDate="2015-03-08T11:27:49.303" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your pregnancy is healthy (uterus size is on target with dates, no bleeding or placental abnormalities on ultrasound, a singleton pregnancy, etc), you should be fine until starting to get close to the due date (where do you want to have your baby, at home or in another city? Or, worse yet, do you want to go into labor on the plane?) Still, it's best to check with your doctor before you buy a ticket. The middle trimester is often the best for comfort during flying. (You're less tired and sick than the first trimester, and you're smaller than the third trimester, when long sitting can really make your legs swell and hurt, as well as increase the risk of clots slightly. &lt;strong&gt;Walk often!!&lt;/strong&gt; Think about compression stockings.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your health care provider might caution against air travel if your pregnancy is considered high risk or you're at risk of preterm labor. Similarly, your health care provider might restrict travel of any type after 36 weeks of pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Mayo Clinic gives these additional tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Check the airline's policy about air travel during pregnancy. Guidelines for pregnant women might vary by carrier and destination.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Choose your seat carefully. For the most space and comfort, consider requesting an aisle seat. (Some seats in front of the cabin have even more space.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Promote circulation. If possible, take occasional walks up and down the aisle. If you must remain seated, flex and extend your ankles often. (This is a must the further on you are.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Drink plenty of fluids. Low humidity in the cabin can lead to dehydration.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Decreased air pressure during flight can slightly reduce the amount of oxygen in your blood, but this doesn't pose risks if you're otherwise healthy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you must fly frequently during your pregnancy, discuss the risks of increased radiation during high-altitude flights with your doctor. He or she might limit your total flight time during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're flying during your third trimester, it's probably wise to bring a copy of your prenatal chart just in case, with your due date, pregnancy-related lab tests and ultrasounds, past obstetric, medical and surgical history, and a flow sheet of vital signs taken at each visit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/pregnancy-week-by-week/expert-answers/air-travel-during-pregnancy/faq-20058087&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Is it safe to fly during pregnancy? (Mayo Clinic)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/927.aspx?CategoryID=54#close&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Is it safe to fly while pregnant? (NHS.UK)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.acog.org/Resources-And-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Obstetric-Practice/Air-Travel-During-Pregnancy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Air Travel During Pregnancy (ACOG)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-10T17:37:35.167" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T17:37:35.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18944" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18969" CreationDate="2015-03-08T14:52:02.127" Score="7" ViewCount="5687" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is currently 9 months old. Sometimes when he is in my arms, or when we are playing and he can reach them, he tries to grab my glasses. I know that he is just curious. He is just in that stage that he is exploring everything and I understand, welcome and foster that, but I'm also concerned that one day he might drop them or break the frame as he is pulling them from my face (or a relative's face).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently I have an older set that I use at home when I'm with him, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't care if these are broken. I don't use contact lenses. I have in the past, but I work in front of the computer and I don't find them practical for that (and I wouldn't want to switch to contact as I get home). Besides, his grandparents and one of his uncles uses eyeglasses too, so I would rather find a way to teach him that people's eyeglasses are &quot;off limits&quot; instead of toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a good way to teach him, at this age, not to grab people's glasses without discouraging curiosity?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11753" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-25T13:18:11.743" LastActivityDate="2018-08-25T13:18:11.743" Title="How can I prevent my 9-month-old from taking my glasses?" Tags="|infant|teaching|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="18948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18932" CreationDate="2015-03-09T05:06:08.543" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing to suggest that an answer to this question would be different than the answer without the religious context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the difference between indoctrination and education is muddled at best, and intentionally divisive at worst, I'm not going to address that terminology beyond this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your question is really many questions, and these are the answers I would provide:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Disagreeing With Your Child's Teacher&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many articles out there regarding how to deal with teachers that you disagree with. Because of the nature of the subject, there's not much in the way of data. However, the different opinions out there generally have a few suggestions in common:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep a calm demeanor&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Address the issue at an appropriate time and place&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the teacher first (rather than above their head)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some links: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1049553/what-to-do-when-you-disagree-with-your-students-teacher&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;SheKnows&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/5-smart-ways-to-handle-teacher-troubles&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parenting.com&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://memberhub.com/blog/disagree-teacher/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;MemberHub&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Handling Peer Pressure&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4983/how-do-you-help-children-resist-social-peer-pressure&quot;&gt;This Parenting.SE question on peer pressure&lt;/a&gt; lacks some details, and seems a little out of date. There's also not much for data on this subject, but there's general advise on avoiding peer pressure:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instill self-esteem and positive self-image&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage diverse peer relationships&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Develop strategies for turning down pressure (Don't justify, nor argue, nor defend, nor explain. AKA, Don't &lt;a href=&quot;http://beyondgrowth.net/personal-development/how-to-deal-effectively-with-peer-pressure-jade/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;JADE&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ianrpubs.unl.edu/epublic/live/g1751/build/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;University of Nebraska Lincoln&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.a-better-child.org/page/923604&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;A Better Child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Dealing With Religious Themes in Literature&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from homeschooling your child, and controlling everything they read, there's no way to prevent your child from reading books with religious themes in them. Religion and mythology are core parts of culture, and thus make it into art in amazing kinds of ways. It's said that one of the most recognizable icon in the world is Superman's S shield. It's pervasive. What you may not know is that many people draw &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cbn.com/entertainment/screen/superman-gospel-story.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;parallels between Superman and Jesus Christ&lt;/a&gt;, even though Superman was created by Jewish guys! I say this just to illustrate how unrealistic it would be to prevent a child from coming in contact with religious ideas from this avenue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So rather than &lt;em&gt;preventing&lt;/em&gt; the issue, we'll have to address this by &lt;em&gt;treating&lt;/em&gt; the issue. Again, this isn't a topic that's easy to study, so we'll have to forego data once again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that the best route to take is to encourage education. Instead of your child encountering themes that may only apply to one specific religion, or just a few religions, try to expose them to a wide variety of religious themes. The more religious (or non-religious) concepts they're exposed to, the more they'll be able to see that there isn't a consensus on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would try to encourage a love for Science Fiction. That genre often does a great job of addressing religious beliefs and rational beliefs, and how they counter each other or coexist with each other. I find it hard to find a Sci Fi novel that doesn't also have religious elements, but I attribute a large part of my open-ness about and lack of religious to my reading habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as other media, or just life in general, my answer would be the same. Increase exposure to &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; types of religion. Ignorance is not a defense against the ways of the world. In fact, a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pewforum.org/2010/09/28/u-s-religious-knowledge-survey/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;famous study&lt;/a&gt; shows that people who identify as Atheist or Agnostic have the best Religious Knowledge. So, obviously, non-religious individuals shouldn't be expected to be unknowledgeable about religion. You can also research the relationship between education level and religiosity and draw some conclusions there. I won't address that topic in any detail here, as it's not the appropriate place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Harassment and Bullying&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there are &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/bullying&quot;&gt;plenty of questions&lt;/a&gt; on Parenting.SE to address this already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Handling Guilt and Shame&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilt_%28emotion%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Guilt&lt;/a&gt; isn't a particularly religious concept. If you &amp;quot;steal&amp;quot; a cookie from the counter, you may end up feeling guilty about it. Guilt happens when you do something that you believe you shouldn't have done, because it's contrary to your morals. &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Shame&lt;/a&gt;, by contrast, usually occurs when you do something that &lt;em&gt;others&lt;/em&gt; don't believe you should do. Based on the context of the question, I believe only shame is relevant here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this article, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-maclaughlin-lsw/why-shame-sucks-especiall_b_4760272.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Why Shame Sucks&lt;/a&gt;, the author says the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to be abundantly clear with children that they are loved and accepted unconditionally, even when their behavior is terrible. It is way too easy for kids to slide directly into feeling worthless via shame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sentiment is echoed in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.angeresources.com/helpkids.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;other articles&lt;/a&gt;, of which there are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentwatch.com/content/display.asp?c=c_0173&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;plenty&lt;/a&gt;. They also suggest avoiding shameful wording or disciplines. Now, if the shaming activities are occurring at school, then you're likely going to have to address it with the school. If the teacher is the one doing the shaming, you'll have the first part of this answer to help you out. If it's children doing the shaming, then try looking at the bullying answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these answers are connected by a single concept, which I believe is the real answer to your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;The best thing to do is to raise your child as best you can, provide for them as best you can, educate them as best you can.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By addressing your child's physical, developmental, psychological, emotional, and intellectual needs, you'll be doing the best you can to protect them from anything. This includes &amp;quot;protecting&amp;quot; them from religion, as you put it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Education will play a large role in this. I'm not saying education trumps religion, or that religious people aren't educated. But, I believe that when people change or choose religions (or non-religions) it's because they've been exposed to new information or experiences. If they're only exposed to information that supports a single outlook, then that's likely to be the outlook they choose (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_atheism&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;State Atheism&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you educate your child on all the different types of religions and religious beliefs, then you're better preparing them for handling exposure to them in the real world. They'll have time to reconcile the variety of beliefs with their own world-view, and be better able to stand firm in their own beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also take the same stance for parents that desire their child to &lt;em&gt;accept&lt;/em&gt; a given religion. If they're never exposed to other religions, then when they finally meet them face-on in the real world, they may have a harder time adjusting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T21:43:49.933" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18898" CreationDate="2015-03-09T05:13:30.090" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the end, it is really something you need to discuss with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The decision as to what path he goes down will ultimately be his.  If not now, then as he grows toward adulthood.   It doesn't matter if his choice is the same as yours, or if it is different.  It doesn't matter if he chooses agnosticism, atheism, or a faith shared by his friends.   He might even make one choice now, and revisit it later.  The choice will be his.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you describe, you have explained your views to him, and he has made the effort to educate himself and be aware, and will question.   That means you have done your best - which, in the end, is all that a parent can do.  And he is doing well in preparing himself for whatever choice he might make.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is certainly appropriate that you discuss your concerns, and views on the situation, honestly with him.   But, equally, you need to listen to his views because he will have a view on whether or not he is being unduly pressured or indoctrinated.  Whether you agree with him or not, you need to respect his right to choose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His choice will be based on his personal values, and who he is.   Just as your choice was, and is, based on your personal values and who you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13518" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T05:13:30.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18950" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-09T06:22:13.893" Score="16" ViewCount="2478" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son used to be very independent little boy without any fears.  In the last two years his night terrors and fears have gotten out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He dreams about robots, house fires, tornadoes.  The dreams are horrible.  Now he's scared being in a room alone and won't go anywhere unless a person is with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He sleeps with us (ugh!).  It's just been horrible.  What can I do so he's not scared of his own shadow and stop the nightmares? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like this is changing his personality and I hope it's not a precursor to anxiety or other mental health issue. (My brother in law had same issues when he was young I have been told. He became alcoholic and just an unhappy person.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something changed and I need help getting him back to the fearless little boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13942" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-16T07:09:23.247" LastActivityDate="2016-03-06T16:43:23.710" Title="What can help a seven year old boy cope with night terrors and being constantly afraid?" Tags="|sleep|primary-schooler|fears|anxiety|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18923" CreationDate="2015-03-09T08:18:19.587" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having aggressive or hostile behavior.It is extremely important that you take this seriously and help her develop a positive attitude towards life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;usually Children will have a better understanding as they grow older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help her to focus on doing things which she loves doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must work upon your child’s confidence in every way possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Motivate your child if she failures in academics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let your child have a sense of freedom to do whatever she feels like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age,you child should not get pressurized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13901" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T08:18:19.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18950" CreationDate="2015-03-09T09:28:42.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am absolutely not familiar with this kind of problem, I am not sure this will be of any help, I am not sure what I am saying is even correct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you say, he seems to be afraid of events he cannot control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe help him by teaching him what can be done in those cases (in case of fire, calling the firemen, etc., and no, I don't know what to do in case of robots going out of control). If he absolutely needs a way to be able to contact someone in case of danger, teach him how to contact a family member (memoryzing a phone number to be called), reassure him that there will be no event so sudden that he will not be able to contact someone, even if he is alone in a room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, maybe he is afraid of not being able to react when he is asleep, in which case reassure him that he will wake up before anything happens (the fire alarm will wake him up, risk of tornadoes are being predicted and make enough noise to wake you up, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he is grasping the concept of death, and gets anxious about it, which is a big phase of life. In which case, I absolutely do not know how to deal with it correctly... :/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T09:28:42.163" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18923" CreationDate="2015-03-09T11:15:03.207" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;my approach to this would be to talk to her every day. Ask her about her day, classmates and friends, problems in kindergarden etc. and take her seriously. It doesn't necessarily have to be about problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you could recreated the day with her dolls, so it is more a game than a serious conversation. Over time this could be a way to help her to express and/or solve difficult situations and to learn about such difficult concepts like death. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or you could read child stories (about dying?) and talk to her what she thinks it means. Be honest with her, especially with such difficult topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her try things by herself (not with cheese cutters) and give her credit and reinforcement on the things she did right. Focus on the things she does good and don't pressurize her if she fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that I'm no expert, just a father who tries these things himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13946" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T11:15:03.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18950" CreationDate="2015-03-09T12:30:47.803" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Poor little guy. Try searching for information on &amp;quot;childhood fears&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;night terrors&amp;quot;, those are the usual terms used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's one set of basic recommendations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;General Guidelines for Any Age&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child is afraid -- whether at age 5 or 15 -- remember to approach the fears with respect. Chansky suggests following these basic guidelines:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't try to talk your child out of being afraid.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay calm and confident. How you talk to your child about fears is as important as what you say.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When helping your child to confront fears, find out what feels comfortable. Don't force your child to do more than that. However, don't give your child a total &amp;quot;out.&amp;quot; Complete avoidance isn't the answer for anxiety.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Practice coping responses in a variety of ways: with drawing, stuffed animals, or role-playing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reward efforts -- big or small.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/children/features/childhood-fears-anxieties?page=4&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Childhood Fears and Anxieties&lt;/a&gt;, WebMD April 2007 (it's worth reading the whole article)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have any major events recently - or at the start of this uptick in fear - happened in his or your family's life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g. moving house, moving school, bereavement, divorce, illness of a family member, accident, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T12:30:47.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18950" CreationDate="2015-03-09T12:57:12.933" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other answers provide excellent advice about fear. I would suggest you also check (just to exclude it as a possibility) that he is not suffering from something sleep related. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example: night terrors. Some useful articles may help explain what I mean (in particular the wikipedia one):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Night terror article on wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/night-terrors/Pages/Introduction.aspx%20NHS%20article%20on%20night%20terrors&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NHS article on night terrors&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suffer from something like this still and we have had to remove things like the light-bulb from our bedroom so that I don't become afraid of it in the night and attack it as I wake up in fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A relative of mine suffers from an unusual form of epilepsy, which is triggered when she falls asleep. It causes her to hallucinate all sorts of unpleasant things (such as spiders crawling over the floor). It was hard, at first, to realise that this was not simply her dreaming and thus not simply nightmares.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that there's nothing like that going on - it would be a surprise if there were - and my hope is that this is just fear which I am sure your good parenting will overcome, but it is worth checking out at least whether night terrors aren't a factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9896" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T12:57:12.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18956" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-09T13:14:09.557" Score="14" ViewCount="9535" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be two years old next month, and he doesn't speak. Actually, he speaks, but some other language which nobody can understand. If I point him out to something, he says it not perfectly, but after two words, he loses focus and loses interest and doesn't want to continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is playful and social. I have tried cards, books with pictures, everything, but he is not interested and gets frustrated if I insist. He is very much interested in TV, laptop, mobile, iPad, etc. He can operate them very well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think his speech delay is related to his environment; we don't have any other kids of his age or any age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to train him to speak up? I have read somewhere that by this age he should know 50+ words and should be able to join two words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very scared due to his speech delay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13950" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2020-09-29T03:08:27.493" LastActivityDate="2020-09-29T03:08:27.493" Title="2-year-old does not speak" Tags="|infant|education|language-development|speech|screen-time|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-09T13:30:22.737" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do not know who said that he should know 50+ words. That's clearly not the case with the vast majority of children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a nice chart on child development I read somewhere on this site (do not take this chart as absolute limits, most children that are advanced in one area tend to be somewhat late in another area): &lt;a href=&quot;http://drhart.net/clinic/forms/Denver%20II%20Developmental%20Milestones.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Development chart&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you say, he speaks perfectly for his age: It's half understandable, and he can say the name of objects/pictures you are pointing out to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-03-10T17:47:33.183" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T17:47:33.183" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18958" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-09T13:46:46.790" Score="2" ViewCount="474" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever I take my kid to the mall, he fears going to the soft toys section and fears all the dolls, characters, stuffed animals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing I observed is that if we are in our room and somebody knocks the door, he runs crying to the far end of the room near the bed (I think that place is his comfort zone).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My niece is nearly 1 year older than my son and she is a big rough or type of bully. She doesn't care while hitting him and he is developing fear for her. He hits her whenever he gets opportunity (I observed he gets guts of hitting if I'm watching). When she hits back he cries and runs away or comes towards me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make him overcome these fears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13950" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2015-03-09T20:40:55.587" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T03:33:18.747" Title="nearly 2 years old son fears characters, dolls and someone knocking on door (bully niece)" Tags="|development|fears|bullying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18950" CreationDate="2015-03-09T13:51:54.223" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little girl had a similar bout of bad dreams and was able to overcome it after we convinced her that she could control the dream, i.e. if the room was on fire she could become a super hero that could spray water out of her arms and put the fire out. It worked for her, hopefully you can find something similar for your boy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more bit of advice we always have held strong to: your bed is your bed and you don't need to let children into it. It would be better for you and him if you went and stayed with him in his room until he falls asleep, even if that means you sleep on his floor that night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other advice already posted is good: don't try to diminish his fears or tell him to get over it. Help him understand why he's afraid and see if he can come up with something to overcome that fear (i.e. understand that fire alarm protects us from fires). Empower him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13953" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T13:51:54.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18960" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18986" CreationDate="2015-03-09T13:53:08.483" Score="2" ViewCount="88361" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son completely refuses to eat food. If I forcefully insert it in his mouth, he tries to vomit and throws the food out of his mouth.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He loves milk in his bottle, which we give him only when he is ready to sleep. He won't sleep unless we give him that bottle with milk.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We try to give him food which we normally eat, we totally avoid sugary foods, chocolate, everything 'fancy' or 'junkfood' which is damageable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Till now we could not understand what his favorite food is, except for his bottle and milk.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He eats whenever he is extremely hungry and at that time also refuses to eat unless we forcefully put the first morsel in his mouth, then he continues for some time and when he gathers enough energy, tries to throw up and avoids and runs and cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing is that he drinks a lot of water, a lot means a lot for his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we make him eat our food, is there any training or trick? And how to remove that bottle attachment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13950" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-03-10T09:07:57.340" LastActivityDate="2019-08-20T15:02:28.310" Title="2 year old rarely eats food, needs bottle and milk and drinks a lot of water" Tags="|food|eating|water|milk|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18923" CreationDate="2015-03-09T13:53:57.457" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a depressed child. I didn't like myself much until I was in college. Childhood depression is often ignored and marginalized but it is still real depression (people often minimize it- suggesting that children never have anything to feel depressed about as they have few responsibilities and are given a lot of indulgences).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would do if I were in your shoes is I would get her into short-term counselling with a trained child psychologist. If she just wants attention, they will pick up on that quickly and work with you to direct her to better ways of getting attention. If she's actually depressed, they will help her and you learn skills to cope with it. It probably won't take many sessions and learning how to cope with what she has going on would certainly be worth it. This is especially important if you don't have a personal history of depression, as it is very hard condition to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7102" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T13:53:57.457" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18923" CreationDate="2015-03-09T14:17:45.480" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's possible that she is just being dramatic and doesn't actually intend to hurt herself. If so, great, but there's likely still some truth to what she said: she feels like she isn't getting attention, and/or she feels like she isn't valued and loved. The fact that she's been increasingly sensitive to criticism indicates this if nothing else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's also possible that she is truly depressed. Young children do attempt (and succeed at) suicide (ref. &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1553-2712.2007.tb02357.x/pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Suicidal Behavior in Children Younger than Twelve: A Diagnostic Challenge for Emergency Department Personnel&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;) So be glad that she is reaching out for help, because it's a chance to figure out what's going on and intervene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things I would do as soon as possible:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consult a professional.&lt;/strong&gt; Don't dismiss this as &quot;just a phase.&quot; A child psychologist knows the right questions to ask and what to look for. Regular appointments with a therapist can provide her a chance to talk with a non-critical adult (she can complain about your or her mother, for example, which she may not want to do to you directly) and a professional can teach coping techniques to help her deal with the root causes of low self worth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to her.&lt;/strong&gt; Be honest about why you want to have this conversation (&quot;Child's mom heard that you told Child you're unhappy and you don't like yourself&quot;). Offer her the chance to open up. Focus on your concern for her, and avoid any suggestion that she's done something wrong by sharing her worries, fears, and/or depression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm not angry. I'm just worried and it makes me sad to hear that you're sad.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm glad you told somebody that you feel unhappy because now I can try to help you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I want you to know that you can talk to me about things that make you unhappy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask her what brings on those feelings of low self-worth. Be prepared to hear that it's something you do (my son gets intensely miserable and self-hating when he feels neglected), and be open to changing yourself. This &lt;em&gt;doesn't&lt;/em&gt; mean you're a bad parent, or that this is all your fault (or all her mother's fault, or all &lt;em&gt;whoever's&lt;/em&gt; fault), and blaming is counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Include other adults.&lt;/strong&gt; Her mother needs to know about this. (Depending on your relationship, it could be a tricky conversation -- just avoid blaming and focus on &lt;em&gt;your daughter&lt;/em&gt; -- but advice on that is outside the scope of my experience and this Answer.) Depending on how severe underlying issues are, teachers and school counselors may also need to be brought in (especially if there's a bullying or she's overwhelmed by schoolwork).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some general ideas for how to increase her sense of self-worth on an ongoing basis:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Focus on positives.&lt;/strong&gt; Praise effort, not &quot;her&quot; (for example, &quot;Great job on your homework, you clearly put in a lot of effort&quot; instead of &quot;Your homework is correct, you're so smart&quot;). Thank her for doing chores or little helpful things around the house (&quot;It's so helpful when you [set the table, tidy your room, fold your laundry]&quot;), even for things that she is expected to do. Show your appreciation for the difference she makes in your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Remind her she is loved.&lt;/strong&gt; Hugs, praise, and including her in your life, both in special and everyday ways. Taking her out for a daddy-daughter dinner date is a great occasional treat, but everyday things are just as important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show up for practices or performances (sports, music, dance, whatever).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sit with her while she does homework instead of sitting her somewhere and expecting it to happen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask for her help with miscellaneous tasks you're doing. Find age appropriate ways she can help, even if the overall task is not something you'd want a 6 year old to attempt solo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Want to do the dishes with me? (Bubbles are fun.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Want to cook [favorite meal] with me? (SO MANY ways to help in the kitchen!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Want to help me write this email? (Let her type words.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Want to help me fix this light bulb? (Talk about electrical safety, talk about how light bulbs work, ask her to hold the new bulb while you take the old one out, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Listen to her. &lt;strong&gt;Pay attention to her interests.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her take the lead on suggesting activities (going to the park, playing with dolls, cooking, hammering random pieces of wood together). Keep an eye on what she wants to do, and try to figure out ways to make that happen more often&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her ramble on about a book or movie or toy that she's excited about. Nod and smile and make interested comments: &quot;Wow,&quot; &quot;That IS cool,&quot; etc. (Be prepared to be bored. &lt;em&gt;Keep listening even when you are bored.&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use constructive criticism.&lt;/strong&gt; Kids need guidance and teaching, and we don't expect them to know everything. Unfortunately, some kids take this badly and as evidence that they Just Can't Do Anything Right. Focus on things she's doing right, concentrate on the goal, praise her effort and eventual success. Ask leading questions &quot;Hmm, is that the right way to do it?&quot; to help her examine the problem herself and self-correct, rather than you doing all the critiquing and correction. There are a couple other Questions that may be useful to look at:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3950/how-do-you-address-a-5-year-old-that-has-problems-accepting-corrections&quot;&gt;How do you address a 5 year old that has problems accepting corrections?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14967/how-to-encourage-a-child-to-self-edit-and-take-criticism-positively&quot;&gt;How to encourage a child to self-edit and take criticism positively?&lt;/a&gt; (this is about a slightly older child and how to teach self-criticism, but is still tangentially relevant)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11545/how-to-raise-a-child-such-that-she-has-high-self-esteem-throughout-her-life&quot;&gt;How to raise a child such that she has high self esteem throughout her life?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3175/is-complimenting-children-where-they-can-hear-it-good-or-bad&quot;&gt;Is complimenting children where they can hear it good or bad?&lt;/a&gt; (the first Answer in particular discusses productive ways to praise and compliment)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T16:49:57.210" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18963" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-09T15:25:53.357" Score="2" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby boy is 9 weeks old, he always drinks every 2 or 3 hours at day times. At night time he's always asleep more then 4 hours. I am afraid he is hungry. Should I wake him up to feed at night if he falls asleep longer then 3 hours? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13954" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-09T15:40:22.077" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T16:40:55.860" Title="Should I wake a newborn to feed?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|feeding|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-03-09T18:33:18.763" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-09T15:30:07.550" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are worried, you should have his hearing checked first. It is not uncommon for Small children to develop a hearing impediment caused by ear infections, which will have an impact on their speech development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11938" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T15:30:07.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18923" CreationDate="2015-03-09T16:21:34.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Suicidal thoughts and suicidal comments are always a significant sign for concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In England: make an appointment with your GP.  Ask for an appointment with your local CYPS (Children and Young People's) mental health services. (Or they might be CAMHS - Child &amp;amp; Adolescent MH Services).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is six, and so they are unlikely to know what suicide actually means.  But still, see a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T16:21:34.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2015-03-09T16:31:30.403" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless your child is unusually small or has a special medical condition, there is no need to wake your child for feedings at night. And if your child was one of these rare special cases, your pediatrician would have told you so by now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a mother of two: &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Enjoy the opportunity to sleep and be happy for as long as this lasts. You might be lucky and your baby stays a good sleeper or you might think back on this question in a few weeks and wonder how to get these peaceful times back ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T16:31:30.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2015-03-09T16:32:02.713" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No. Our second and third were going through the night from around six weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You only need to wake them if they are in the stage of getting back to their birth weight. Other than that, I don't believe you need to. Some rudimentary research also reveals that if the baby is gaining weight properly and healthy, you don't need to wake them up to feed them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy your sleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-03-09T16:40:55.860" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T16:40:55.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-09T17:43:14.867" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm married to a Speech Therapist who owns her own clinic, so while she's really the best to answer your question, I can tell you from my observations and discussions with my wife that your child would not likely qualify as &quot;delayed&quot; based on your description.  We also have a 2 year-old who's speech developed slower than his older sister's so that also gives me some credibility, for what it's worth.  However, the only way of knowing whether your child is delayed or not is to have them evaluated by a Speech-Language Pathologist.  If your child has a history of ear infections then you should have his hearing tested by an Audiologist or a Speech-Language Pathologist with the facilities to perform a hearing test on children.  Sometimes preschools or day cares will have a vendor provide free screenings for hearing and speech, but it depends on the facility.  You can also look for free screenings from your healthcare provider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to speak to your child's pediatrician about your concerns and get a referral to a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP).  If you have insurance and you get a referral then a formal speech-language assessment will usually be covered by your insurance.  But here again, check with your insurance before you take my word for it.  But in our experience most insurance companies cover the assessment or at least some portion of it to determine whether speech therapy is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do not have insurance then locate your nearest Early Intervention (EI) Regional Center.  In CA at least, these Regional centers are funded by the state to provide EI services to families without insurance or who's insurance has denied services.  They will assess your child and determine whether your child qualifies or needs speech-language therapy.  If they do, then typically speech therapy will be paid for by the state as a result of the Lanterman Act.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a big portion of what my wife does as an SLP is to find ways of working around your child's frustration to establish attention and engagement from your child.  Kids don't want to sit and do anything structured for more than a few minutes unless you find ways of getting them excited, keeping them engaged, and making it fun for them.  So try to find ways to make it fun for your child to speak and express themselves.  Turn any situation you can into an exercise like naming items on the shelf at the supermarket, having them say &quot;more&quot; or &quot;I want&quot; phrases when they want something.  Challenge yourself to create as many conversational opportunities as you can for your child.  And limit TV to less than 2 hours / day.  When kids watch TV their brain shuts down.  We've all seen the head back and gaping mouth look on our children's faces when they watch TV.  Well that's what's happening inside too.  Several of the children my wife treats are functionally normal but they're stuck in front of the TV for 6+ hours / day which stunts their development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps and good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6678" LastEditorUserId="6678" LastEditDate="2015-03-09T19:40:30.347" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T19:40:30.347" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18944" CreationDate="2015-03-09T19:13:11.690" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing wrong with preventing exploration of dangerous things like scissors or household cleaning chemicals, and I extended that principle to breakable or expensive items like my glasses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always pulled my face back out of reach and said in a serious voice, &quot;NO, you can't have Mommy's glasses.&quot; Serious face, serious voice, serious look: not &lt;em&gt;angry&lt;/em&gt;, but clearly conveying &lt;em&gt;what you just did does not make me happy&lt;/em&gt;. Repeat every single time baby goes for glasses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occasionally they'd escalate and grab really fast, and manage to remove the glasses (and in some cases, throw the glasses), knock them askew (often scraping my nose), or simply keep trying to grab over and over and over despite the above reaction. In those instances, I repeated &quot;No,&quot; set baby down (or passed him to another adult), and walked away for a while. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't foolproof, and it isn't fast. However, babies prefer smiles and interaction to frowns and losing Being Held By Parent Time, so they gravitated towards not messing with my glasses. (Most of the time. And I also invested in flexible frames, &lt;em&gt;just in case&lt;/em&gt;....) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T19:13:11.690" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-09T19:45:35.743" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Despite his playfulness, he may still have mild autism.  If he does, you need to have it diagnosed asap.  Getting a mildly autistic child into a developmental program very early can make a huge difference in the child's level of development for the rest of their life.  (My son is mildly autistic).  I believe most states will pay for such programs 100%.  Maine did in my case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, the sooner you can get your child into a good state-approved developmental program, the less affect any autism will have in their life later on.  My son was put in a program shortly before turning 3 and he is doing pretty well now at 13.  A lot of people are surprised to learn that he is autistic now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just tell your doctor you are concerned about your child not speaking.  First they will check their hearing and several other things, then they will look into autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13960" LastEditorUserId="13960" LastEditDate="2015-03-09T19:55:27.927" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T19:55:27.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-09T19:48:14.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion it is completely normal, don't worry any more. I know children who speak after 2 years. There is not an obvious rule for speaking, some speak earlier than 2 years old and some later, so don't worry. He will speak slowly by time and there is nothing wrong with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13961" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-03-10T09:49:27.363" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T09:49:27.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18972" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-09T19:56:24.430" Score="4" ViewCount="9544" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a close friend whose son turned 14 last October. He started on 10mg of Prozac in September 2013, gradually increased to 60mg in July 2014, where he has remained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friend keeps regular records of her son's height, and he has not grown a single centimeter in the past eight months. His height was tracking slightly below average, but otherwise normal, prior to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His pediatrician did blood work in January and does not recommend any action at this time, so we assume his hormone levels are normal. (I have already suggested confirming this with the pediatrician.) But my friend is very worried. Just given the timing, the Prozac looks like a plausible culprit... But of course that could be random coincidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my questions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Are there any reliable studies demonstrating or refuting a link between Prozac and stunted growth in teenagers? Simple Web searches turn up many pages, but they seem to be largely anecdotal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) What advice would you give to my friend?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13959" LastActivityDate="2019-08-21T19:17:42.150" Title="Can Prozac stunt a teenager's growth?" Tags="|health|development|teen|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-09T20:12:52.107" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter didn't speak any even remotely recognizable words at 2 years old.  We didn't do anything special, and eventually she figured it out.  She is 13 years old now, and has had straight A's for 5 years straight, scored in the 99th percentile across the board on her high school entrance exams, played the lead in the 8th-grade play, and won a partial merit-based scholarship to the most prestigious private high school in town.  She also plays a bunch of sports and has a nice group of friends.  I'm not an expert and this is just a single anecdote, but if that is the only &quot;symptom&quot; you are seeing I would suggest you not worry about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:  In case it matters, she has two older brothers (+4 years and +2 years), and they each started talking recognizable words around 12 months. No idea why it took her more than 2 years, but it apparently was not an indicator of developmental problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13962" LastEditorUserId="13962" LastEditDate="2015-03-09T20:33:15.140" LastActivityDate="2015-03-09T20:33:15.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-09T20:37:24.050" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to encourage his development, spend time with him and talk to him like you would an adult. Speak to him as though he can understand everything you are saying. If you need to go to the gas station or grocery store, take him with you and explain what is going on while you're doing it. Let him hear you speak with other people. He may not like studying flash cards but he is paying a lot more attention to you than you may think. If you aren't doing these things, it could make all the difference. If you are, good for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6516" LastEditorUserId="3634" LastEditDate="2015-03-11T16:38:46.563" LastActivityDate="2015-03-11T16:38:46.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18972" CreationDate="2015-03-09T21:35:06.780" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;See:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/meds/a689006.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Medline Plus: Fluoxetine&lt;/a&gt; - US National Library of Medicine / National Institutes of Health, 11/15/2014&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fda.gov/drugs/drugsafety/postmarketdrugsafetyinformationforpatientsandproviders/ucm109352.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Fluoxetine (marketed as Prozac) Information&lt;/a&gt; - US Food and Drug Administration, 12/16/2014&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Medicine-Guides/Pages/MedicineSideEffects.aspx?condition=Depression&amp;amp;medicine=Fluoxetine&amp;amp;preparation=&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Side effects: Information specific to: Fluoxetine 20mg capsules when used in Depression.&lt;/a&gt; - UK NHS Choices&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following side-effects have also been reported in children and adolescents who take medicines similar to Fluoxetine hydrochloride. The frequency of these side-effects is unknown&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;delay in the onset of puberty and development of sexual organs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;feelings of hostility&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;growth suppression&lt;/strong&gt; or reduced weight gain&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is &lt;em&gt;possible&lt;/em&gt; that the fluoxetine is causing growth suppression - your friend should consult her son's doctor (again, if necessary, as some more time has passed since their last consultation, with no increase in height).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(NB - 'Prozac' and 'fluoxetine' are the same thing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T11:58:43.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-09T23:12:38.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anecdotal only but I didn't say anything much for years after my first word.  One time my mum threw on the brakes and I fell into the foot-well and my first sentence was &quot;If you do that again, I will pack my bags and move to Granny's house.&quot;  So I kinda skipped all the steps between around 1 year-old to about 4 year.  After that though, no-one could shut me up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It just hadn't occurred to me that anything might need to be said before then and I hadn't realised my parents were kinda freaking out about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Various things make me suspect I might be high-functioning aspergers person (an aspie) but not 'quite' as high functioning as Bill Gates or Einstein or Michelangelo or Mozart!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't be scared and don't push the kid too much, but try to find out what is fairly normal and maybe see if you can figure out how he/she sees the world.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he is interested in iPhones and other IT stuff, is it possible to get reading cards or memory cards or learning tools on there for him to poke around with?  Mac surely has a ton of educational toys for kids?  &lt;a href=&quot;https://scratch.mit.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Scratch&quot;&lt;/a&gt; might be a little to advanced for him just now, but it sounds like he might be currently heading in roughly that direction!  I wonder if he carries on that way or if it'll be just a phase.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In another thread, jpatokal gave this &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/pages/speechandlanguage.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt; on speech and developmental milestones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13968" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-03-10T09:55:14.793" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T09:55:14.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18924" CreationDate="2015-03-10T03:10:05.490" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First babies shouldn't have diary if at all possible, breast milk is the best.  So pump as much as you can and freeze them.  I would try a different formula.  I think carnation has one for colicky babies and I know there are colic drops,  However, I would switch to a soy based or non dairy brand for awhile.  There could be several things going on at the same time with an infant so it is best to try one thing for a week to see if it gets better. I would get rid of the milk and only to breast or a different formula.  You know your baby more than anyone else in the world.  If you think something is wrong, go to her doctor or call a nurse I think there are local services that are called &quot;call a nurse&quot;  You know I think there are mom's who donate breast milk to other mothers.  I know that sounds a bit odd but that might be another solution.  Good luck and congrats on your second baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13971" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T03:10:05.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18958" CreationDate="2015-03-10T03:33:18.747" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are not really giving us all the information we need, ages, is the nieces parent around,  so I will do the best with what little information was given.  do you live with your niece?  When you say our room, does that mean his room?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is being bullied by an older child, you need to talk to her mother and advise her that she needs to teach her child to be nice, to share, no hitting, say please.  Your niece may be an only child and used to getting her way so if mom is not around it is your responsibility to correct her.  If she is two or more she can do a short time out in a room or in a chair.  You may need to look for another place to live if her mother is unwilling to see her child as a bully. Make sure that your son is also playing fair, is he taking all of her toys, does he have toys of his own?  Might be best to just read a book in your room and let your child play sometimes alone especially if your niece is being a bully and her mom is doing nothing about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;since I don't know your sons age I am going to assume he is about 1 or 2. All children have fears, if he hasn't learned to talk it is very hard for him to tell you what is wrong.  However, you can teach him some sign language along with the word to help him tell you what the issue is until he can learn to speak, there are books out there called baby sign language which are very simple for a baby to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to sit down with your family and discuss the issues at hand.  Ask how they want you to handle their child when she is being rude or mean to you or your child.  Advise them how they can do the same with your child.  If they are not willing to help with the issue, you need to either move out or limit the contact between the two children.  That means, if you have to sit in your room with the door closed for hours reading a book to your kid or staring at a wall so he can play then that is what you need to do until you can move out. Best of luck to you and your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13971" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T03:33:18.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18803" CreationDate="2015-03-10T03:40:55.870" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should ask the other boy where his mother was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then go over to her and ask her to please have her son apologize for his actions. If mom would not do anything, I would have gotten down on my knees and tried to tell the child that being mean is wrong and that he need to go to his mother right now before you call the police (not that you would, but it will get the child to go to his mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, if the parents are not going to do anything you should probably leave the park and find another one to go to where parents actually care about their kids and what they do to other kids.  Some parents are only out there to text, talk and ignore their kids hoping they will wear themselves out with play as mom cannot handle them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are the voice for your children, use it. Stand up to those parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13971" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2015-03-10T09:28:35.073" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T09:28:35.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-10T05:54:58.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm just a parent of a little girl slightly older than your son. She has similar problems, but I'm not worried. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend to read with him, picture books, let him locate pictures of animals and &lt;em&gt;name&lt;/em&gt; them, or ask what they &lt;em&gt;say&lt;/em&gt;. Cat, snake, dog... Do not hesitate to read the very same book twice in a row, or more, but you must keep him active and cooperating with naming and/or locating animals on pages (or other things he know and likes, e.g. cars). Make fun of it. He will not get bored as fast as you. &lt;em&gt;Children love repeating&lt;/em&gt;, mostly if they gradually get better (e.g. they can locate the cat very quickly). But insist on &lt;em&gt;naming things you point at&lt;/em&gt; or ask for an animal, and even &lt;em&gt;what does that animal say&lt;/em&gt;. Snake, frog, cow, owl... Correct him some times, and when you are sure he knows cat, make yourself stupid and point at a dog, and see if he corrects you. Make it fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should limit TV or tablets to less than hour a day. It must only be gift if he achieves something. These activities do not force him to speak. Force him to speak all day long in common situations - when he wants to drink - hold the glass in front of him and ask what is it? - hand it if he says &lt;em&gt;water&lt;/em&gt; or a &lt;em&gt;tea&lt;/em&gt;. He should be rewarded for speaking and get what he wants - when he &lt;em&gt;names&lt;/em&gt; it. If he does not name it, make yourself look stupid like if you did not understand - even if he knocks on the door to be opened. He should &lt;em&gt;ask&lt;/em&gt; to &lt;em&gt;open&lt;/em&gt; door. Force him to speak, that's all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may take long months, even years. Look at &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einstein_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einstein_syndrome&lt;/a&gt; -  Albert Einstein's speech was delayed until age of 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1078" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T05:54:58.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18956" CreationDate="2015-03-10T06:59:57.263" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent of two, non-verbal autistic children, we've worked with Early Intervention as suggested by other answers.  In Illinois, EI services are only provided until age 3 (which may vary state to state).  Unfortunately, it could take months to get services started.  Worse yet is finding the right therapist to &quot;fit&quot; your child's (and your's) specific needs and schedule.  By then, your child will age out and have to use services provided by your school district via some kind of Early Childhood program.  We actually moved to a new town to get into a better Early Childhood school district for my kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Illinois, at least, the law states that if a school is unable to provide an Early Childhood service, then that district is responsible for bussing your child to another local district.  I was concerned about my (then 3 year old) son riding the bus for nearly 90 minutes one way to a special school two towns away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, as an aside, you should probably get prepared for the inevitable &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individualized_Education_Program&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;IEP&quot;&gt;IEP&lt;/a&gt; meeting (which is a whole other set of frustrations).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest son has learned to use Picture Exchange to show us what he wants.  The speech therapist from his school has been the most effective by far teaching him how to communicate with this method.  We've had about 4 different speech therapists via EI and NONE even mentioned doing something like this for him.  Expect frustration with any therapies.  My oldest has sensory issues and covers his ears even during normal conversations in the house.  &quot;Conversation&quot; with him is impossible when he is over stimulated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would avoid the noise on this thread about limiting your child to this or that.  Every kid learns differently.  You will find whatever preferred activity your child loves to do and USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.  The bottom line here is getting your child ENGAGED and you JOIN IN!  Think about how you interact with your co-workers and family and ask yourself how many conversations start with some television show, sports broadcast, facebook post, tweet, news.  Yeah...thought so...  Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is like Sports Center for 3 year olds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you should bring up any concerns about your child's developmental delays with your pediatrician.  If you have a concern, get your child tested (hearing, autism, whatever).  The earlier you start therapy services the better chance your child has of overcoming their developmental delay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1073" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T06:59:57.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18960" CreationDate="2015-03-10T08:26:22.597" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, not from a professional, but from a parent's perspective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems you have built yourselves a nice battlefield with your son - I sense a power play and a lot of unnecessary tension. A vicious cycle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First step:&#xA;&lt;br&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stop this &lt;em&gt;right now&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means, no yelling, no fusing and, above all, no force feeding. Try to eliminate this battle ground completely. Mealtime is no longer a time for discussion or arguing about food. Its not about behaviour and not about control. (For now. We address proper table manners and other issues &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; later.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your pediatrician gave you the ok and the fact that your son hasn't starved himself yet is another indicator that he somehow gets enough food - otherwise your doctor would have registered his concern. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what can you do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 2, he should be able to feed himself and to drink from a cup, so all milk/water bottles need to go. Perhaps except for the bedtime bottle, but that's a completely different issue and you should address this another time. I say he should feed himself because your (force) feeding must stop &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go back to square one. Your child seems to have never have grasped the concept of &quot;eating&quot; or &quot;mealtimes&quot;, so do what you would do for a smaller child - except for actively feeding him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Decide on five to six time frames when you will offer food. These times should include the family meal times, the others are appropriate snack times like mid-morning or mid-afternoon. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer small bits of food on a plate (plastic, in case of tantrums) or in a bowl. Do not overthink &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; you offer or nutrition yet, the goal is to make eating &quot;normal&quot; for him. You might offer a range of food, ideally starch, a protein and some fruit/veggie, but a few leftover pasta shapes will do nicely, too. Even some crackers or a teaspoon of raisins. Make it &lt;em&gt;easy for you, too&lt;/em&gt;. This is about offering, not about eating a well-balanced meal (yet). At family mealtimes, put small pieces of whatever you are eating on his plate. Some children love forks (again: soft plastic, preferably) and spoons, others use their fingers. Offer a small cup of juice or milk at mealtimes, if he drinks it and if it calms you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;And that's it.&lt;/strong&gt; Do not urge him to eat or try. Do not coax, argue or pressure him to eat. Do not talk about how good X tastes or how healthy Y is. Be mentally prepared for a few very lean days. Dump uneaten food or offer it at the next mealtime. (That's the advantage of crackers or raisins...) If it helps, imagine him being sick - sick children may go for a few days without food, as long as they are drinking enough. Plus, he's still drinking his bedtime bottle. Encourage him to stay with you at the table for a while during family meals, but don't open another battlefield here - if he happily stays a few minutes, perhaps has a bite or two, that should be enough for the beginning.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And one side note: The caloric need / food intake of a two-year old is smaller than you probably think. Usually they have so much going on and to discover that eating is just a distraction to some of them. Also, a few bites at multiple meals really add up (as every dieter will know...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I agree with your pediatrician that a healthy child &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; eat and won't suffer from a few days of fasting. But if your son still doesn't eat at least a bit after about a week, if you notice serious weight loss (a bit is ok for the initial re--training phase) or if he shows other symptoms that cause concern (e.g. unusual fatigue), talk to your pediatrician again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T08:26:22.597" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18874" CreationDate="2015-03-10T09:38:38.033" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;OK, so I'll try. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Also my son is very happy. He has a wonderful life and I feel as if he would do fine, knowing how much he loves his dad and just beginning to really grasp the concept of life. I don't think it would change anything for him, if that makes sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do understand this very well. However, all this would be based on a lie. (Omission of a truth is a lie, too.) And this would indeed make a difference for him. Many years down the road, when your son asks you why you never told him, what would you say? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that you think it wouldn't change anything for him, why do you keep it from him? Could it be that what makes you shrink back from telling him is that you feel guilt yourself? Because this must not even be an issue for your son – except in as much as it is an issue for you. If you give the facts casually and put emphasis on your husband being the one who cares for him, if your husband indeed cares for him, if it's understood that we are formed by our environment at least as much as by our genes, then why would your son have a problem with this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think what could become a true problem for him (rather than a reflection of your problems with this) is if his biological father refuses him. &lt;em&gt;This&lt;/em&gt; can be a source of psychological problems that has a potential to put a shadow on his whole life. If anything, I'd prepare for this, so that, should it indeed happen, you have ways to help him to deal with this. (Love and a therapist might be the most important factors there.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And this, and &lt;em&gt;only this&lt;/em&gt;, I can see as a reason to consider waiting to tell him. However, that is not a strong case, since learning that what you thought about your origins was a lie has just as much potential to disturb and damage – the worse the later you learn about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T09:38:38.033" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18990" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="18994" CreationDate="2015-03-10T12:30:06.650" Score="14" ViewCount="27391" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had many episodes of full withdrawal from the family because I cannot face my father. Last night was another one of those episodes. We were eating dinner with the family when I made small talk about telling them about my trip to Sydney. All of it was paid by me. I am financially independent except for the fact that I'm still living with them (although I'm paying for my own share of the rent and utilities). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then my father looks at me and starts yelling. He goes about saying that I should not have made plans. He said that as long as I live in his house, everything should be ran through them. He goes on and on and says that he is very disappointed with me, with the face that I have been scared of all of my life. He calls me worthless and a big mistake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had enough and I'll be moving out. But moving out takes time. For now, I'm avoiding them as much as I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Earlier this evening for dinner, he goes off to my room yelling that I should eat at the dining table. I bought my own dinner so as to avoid them. Take note that he is still yelling and angry. At this point, I am too scared. I put my headphones on, focus back on my PC while eating, and he slams the door the strongest he can. And goes off yelling that I am the worst there is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doors in Australia generally don't have locks, so I have put my drum set (bought with 100% my money) to block the door. I no longer feel safe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a theory about what he's thinking. He might be thinking that I'm purposefully making him angry by not following his instructions (not going to the dining table even if he said so), but the truth is, I'm too scared of him to even stand up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry if this isn't a question about parenting, but rather, about families. I don't think I have any other one to talk to this about, other than friends who would just say &quot;You can do it&quot; or &quot;Just move out&quot;. I was hoping for a more in-depth answer that could help me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I no longer feel secure and safe in my own bed. For the past few months, I occasionally dream of arguing with him, beating him up and sometimes end up killing him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think he's going to physically hurt me, but I am emotionally and mentally beaten down. I still have the police emergency line ready, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11145" LastEditorUserId="11145" LastEditDate="2015-03-10T12:37:12.350" LastActivityDate="2016-06-06T20:44:10.373" Title="I am 20, too scared of my father, and I no longer feel safe. What can I do?" Tags="|fears|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18960" CreationDate="2015-03-10T12:30:36.650" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to tell from the info in your question whether this is a medical issue or a behavioral one, or a combination of the two. It's clear that force-feeding is backfiring and not getting the desired result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've followed the advice of Ellyn Satter on The Division of Responsibility for Feeding Kids, and it's worked well for our 1-year-old so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Division of Responsibility for babies making the transition to&#xA;family food:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The parent is responsible for what [type of food is offered], and is becoming responsible for when and where the child is fed [as opposed to on-demand feeding of infants].&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child is still and always responsible for &lt;strong&gt;how much and whether to eat&lt;/strong&gt; the foods offered by the parent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See more at: &lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php#sthash.6M1hi8sV.dpuf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php#sthash.6M1hi8sV.dpuf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After implementing this strategy, we got into fewer battles over food with our daughter, and she gradually became more interested in food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the part of your question where you say your 2-year-old drinks a lot of water, just be sure to get a blood sugar test, as this could be a sign of diabetes.&#xA;Refer to:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/diabetes-normal-thirst/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/diabetes-normal-thirst/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T12:30:36.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18990" CreationDate="2015-03-10T12:49:06.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you said, it's an emotional problem. Since there was no history of physical violence you don't have to fear for your life or health. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When shouted upon try to calm yourself (yeah, easy to say, I know) and realize that your father holds no influence over you and that whatever he says is actually irrelevant. You don't look up to such a person, do you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go on with your life and try to speed up leaving this toxic house, create a home of your own where you'll feel safe and happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking to a psychologist may be a good idea. I'd avoid medication, but a few therapy sessions may help you realize what you actually feel and fear, and thus help you understand and handle those feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lemon balm tea may be good to drink once or twice a day. It has mild calming effect and is natural and perfectly safe (even small children can drink it in reasonable amounts). A cup before you go to sleep may help you sleep through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're with you. Be strong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T12:49:06.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18924" CreationDate="2015-03-10T15:11:25.217" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possible cause is dairy allergy or a sensitivity to one of the ingredients in that particular formula. You could certainly try switching the formula to a different type (eg: soy based instead of milk based, or use one of the easy to digest/sensitive varieties where the ingredients are essentially partially pre-digested or broken down more. You could also work on the breastmilk supply end to make the formula sensitivity hopefully moot in the near future. The mom should be pumping 8-12 times a day...as often as a newborn would be nursing. Nighttime pumping is especially important for supply, so even though I'm sure she's super tired, pumping at least twice overnight plus right before bed and first thing in the morning can make a lot of difference. That and having properly fitting pumping equipment makes a huge difference in output. Madela has great illustrations of a properly fitting flange size...incorrect flange size reduces output considerably. And there are other parts that need to be replaced periodically as well. Consider consulting a lactation consultant, preferably one with certifications to prove their education/experience like IBLBC, to work on supply issues. And eating oatmeal and certain other foods &quot;lactation cookies&quot; can somtimes help supply as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T15:11:25.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18990" CreationDate="2015-03-10T15:12:22.450" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a situation where it pays to know people. If you have friends you can hang out with, then you could spend increasing amounts of time with them while waiting to find a new place to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not everyone currently has enough friends that they can spend most of their time away from the house under that premise. However, that doesn't mean you're out of luck, it just means you need to put yourself out there in other ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could start volunteering&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could start running/jogging/walking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could find a local Dungeons &amp;amp; Dragons/Tabletop/Card Game group and join them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could work a low-stress 2nd job&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You could spend time at the library&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal here is to find a &lt;em&gt;productive&lt;/em&gt; alternative to being at home and becoming a self-inflicted hermit. Avoidance may work a little bit when you're at home, but becoming a shut in is not a healthy solution. The examples I listed about will help improve your social or physical health, without costing you money. Use those facts as motivators, &quot;If I do &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt;, then I don't have to be home, and it won't cost me money I'm saving for an apartment.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you're increasingly away from the house, with positive &quot;excuses&quot;, your family will have to adjust. It may not necessarily get better, but if you're polite and reasonable, then at least you can leave (eventually) knowing you were fully in the right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is a short-term solution for dealing with the anxiety of being around your father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the long term, I echo @Dariusz in that you should seek counseling. A professional can help you manage your anxiety in healthy ways, and maybe help you get a different perspective on what's going on in this situation. You don't want to go through life where anxiety is triggered by a man raising his voice or demeaning you. Right now it may only be your father, but sometimes when anxiety is left unchecked it grows increasingly easy to trigger. You want to avoid a scenario where you become a recluse at work, or even quit, because a boss snaps at you now and then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, I also suggest studying anxiety and methods of coping with anxiety. I believe it's pretty clear you're suffering from some type of anxiety, and the best way to combat it is to be &lt;em&gt;aware&lt;/em&gt; of it. Recognizing your symptoms as symptoms is a major part of overcoming anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T15:12:22.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18972" CreationDate="2015-03-10T18:15:13.083" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I came across your question in doing my own research on this topic.  Appararently there was 1 study done 10 years ago on mice that supported the claim that prozac could interfere with bone growth. My daughter is getting ready to turn 12 and after a recent check up was found to have not grown in the last 3 years (don't get me started on the guilt I have for not picking up on this sooner).  Up until that time she was growing completely normally. The reason I started researching this topic is because of the timing. It appears the growth stopped occurring the same time she started on Prozac for severe OCD/anxiety about 3 years ago. We are waiting for an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist to rule out any possible causes but my gut tells me it's the prozac.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13983" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T18:15:13.083" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18997" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-10T18:54:05.937" Score="5" ViewCount="3178" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has been spending a lot of time with her new boyfriend, to the point it is making her other friends uncomfortable.  While I had told my daughter as long as she could be responsible and mature about it, it appears it may not be going that way.  I am just trying to figure out the best way to dial it back a bit, if possible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13984" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T16:03:08.197" Title="14 year old daughter has a boyfriend and I have heard reports of inappropriate behavior from her friends" Tags="|behavior|teen|dating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18997" CreationDate="2015-03-10T19:05:52.747" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to her about your concerns. Explain sex to her and make sure she understands the dangers of pregnancy and how to prevent it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might not be able to stop her but you'll probably feel better knowing that she's using protection&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13980" LastActivityDate="2015-03-10T19:05:52.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="18999" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19000" CreationDate="2015-03-11T00:36:08.907" Score="2" ViewCount="14440" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we eventually get our three day old baby to sleep after what seems like hours of pinkie time and rocking, within five minutes of putting him down his violent arm and leg twitches cause him to wake and start fussing again. We've tried swaddling, to no avail, and we're definitely waiting until he's properly asleep (ragdoll for 15-20 minutes). Is this normal?! Any strategies for mitigation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6051" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T00:16:27.620" Title="How do I stop a twitching newborn waking itself?" Tags="|sleep|sleep-deprivation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18999" CreationDate="2015-03-11T04:57:29.150" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, yes, this is normal. Getting infants to sleep is one of the most common (and distressing) problems parents face, and it is very significant in the manner it influences parents. But it never hurts to give your pediatrician a call; they can ask you more questions than we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Newborns have a number of very important reflexes, which vary in strength depending on their sex, physical and gestational maturity, state of arousal (sleep stage), degree of motion, and many other factors. That awful arm and leg 'twitch' (where they throw out their arms and their legs extend) is called the Moro Reflex - or startle response - and it is disturbing to the infant, who feels that he is falling. That's why he cries when he feels that, and why he usually settles down quickly with a snuggle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling has been shown in studies to decrease the number of startle responses and the progression to full arousal in newborn sleep. If you are swaddling correctly (please read about safe swaddling), you can try adding motion (that's why the old baby cradles were on rockers.) Your newborn is used to sleeping on the go (mom was often moving while he was napping). &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8146/does-a-newborn-need-some-kind-of-cradle/8151#8151&quot;&gt;This post&lt;/a&gt; addresses this nicely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling, movement, and noise (the right kind - that which simulates the swooshing sound the baby heard in utero) all have been shown to help &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; newborns to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all else fails, please know that unsettled sleep behavior (as well as crying) in infants is commonly a transient phenomenon that peaks at 6-8 weeks of age and is much diminished or gone by 12 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using the search function on this site (e.g. &lt;em&gt;newborn, sleep&lt;/em&gt; will bring up many good posts; same with crying newborn, etc.)  You might be interested in this post on &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18811/should-you-pick-a-baby-up-everytime-it-cries/18815#18815&quot;&gt;picking babies up each time they cry&lt;/a&gt; as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1651-2227.1968.tb04676.x/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;REFLEXES AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO BEHAVIOURAL STATE IN THE NEWBORN&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/1127010?sid=21105605812931&amp;amp;uid=3739256&amp;amp;uid=3739864&amp;amp;uid=4&amp;amp;uid=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Neonatal startles, smiles, erections, and reflex sucks as related to state, sex, and individuality&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/110/6/e70.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Spontaneous Arousals in Supine Infants While Swaddled and Unswaddled During Rapid Eye Movement and Quiet Sleep&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21220260&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Distinguishing infant prolonged crying from sleep-waking problems&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=&amp;amp;esrc=s&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=9&amp;amp;ved=0CFUQFjAI&amp;amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fresults.ref.ac.uk%2F%2528S%25284rshlfyzfxped5faqogvsrch%2529%2529%2FDownloadFile%2FImpactCaseStudy%2Fpdf%3FcaseStudyId%3D44321&amp;amp;ei=U8T_VJbuNoawsASJ_oGwDQ&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNF0fnd548XM_8umEaugI14-YBQ7Ew&amp;amp;sig2=voEalA9qmcTm2a9rnjt2YQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Infant crying and sleep research&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-03-11T06:10:22.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2015-03-11T16:39:07.430" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;stay at home mom or part time working mom is better in my opinion.  I see far too many kids with two working parents who can't make it to their kids activities are too tired from work to help with homework and often grab unhealthy food at the drive-thru because they are too tired from commuting to cook.  Your children grow up quickly relish the time with them you can't go back.  No one will sit on their deathbed wishing they had worked more they will wish they had worked less and spent more time with the kids.  no caregiver no matter how good will treat your child the way you do.  we have become and ever increasing society after material wealth instead of what really matters which is family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13993" LastActivityDate="2015-03-11T16:39:07.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19003" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19004" CreationDate="2015-03-11T21:37:48.390" Score="19" ViewCount="126569" Body="&lt;p&gt;To say that our four day old does not like having his diaper changed is the understatement of the century. It seems that by the time the clothes are opened, he is becoming increasingly agitated, and by the time you're half way through changing, he's really at full tilt. It sounds like genuine distress, not just fussing, it's incredibly hard to deal with a nasty diaper when your infant is screaming himself hoarse! I know there's a certain degree of &quot;the faster you get, the less time they're distressed for&quot;, but there must be some top tips for mitigating total meltdown!?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6051" LastActivityDate="2021-05-22T18:41:19.737" Title="Is there any way to limit distress when diaper changing for newborns?" Tags="|newborn|crying|diaper|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19003" CreationDate="2015-03-11T21:57:30.360" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the main reasons a newborn (particularly such a new newborn!) dislikes diaper changes is the fact that they're cold.  Really cold.  Normally they have this nice warm layer on them that keeps them warm and cozy, and you're ripping that off of them with nary a care for their ... well, I'm sure that's what the newborn thinks, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To avoid this, you can use a few strategies to help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clothes that are easier to change a diaper in without completely removing.  Often with one pieces you only have to open the bottom part (if it's one of those that snaps up the middle of the legs).  This means the torso stays warm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Towel or blanket over the newborn's torso.  Legs can't really be helped, but the torso can be kept relatively warm even if the clothes are shucked.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Place the diaper table in an area that is warmer, or under a warm lamp or something that will help keep things toasty.  Not under a fan (unless it's a fan that is helping with warmer air!).  Don't place a heater right there - that's a fire danger and singing/overheating baby danger - but see what you can do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are other reasons, but from my experience they tended to be less.  Giving some transition time is one helpful thing to try; some of why they're mad may be that you removed them from a happy bed or mommy's arms or whatnot, and placed them on a diaper pad that they don't really care much for.  Carry them around a bit if they were in bed or playing (once they can play), and then once you get on the diaper table, play some with them on the table.  Distract them.  We put a mobile over our diaper table (a regular crib mobile, just over the diaper table).  Have Mommy hold something shiny while Daddy does the change, or vice-versa (whomever is faster and better at not leaking!).  Put a (plastic) mirror on the side of the table where baby's head is; this won't help at 4 days but will later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, getting used to it, both yourself and for your baby, helps the most.  Baby will learn to be okay with it for a year or so, and appreciate the extra attention (after they're mobile, then it's another struggle, sorry!).  You'll get faster at it and more used to what helps distract your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*This all assumes you've done what you could to make the diaper table itself comfortable.  It should have a hard-pillow-like top, either as part of the table or (preferably) a separate diaper changing pad, that's pretty comfy (and has its own removable and washable cover).  There shouldn't be a bright light (or sun) where it could get in their eyes.  Safety strap is a must.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-11T21:57:30.360" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19005" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-11T23:57:59.367" Score="6" ViewCount="505" Body="&lt;p&gt;15 year old teen boy in question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally good kid but minor annoyances here and there&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;coming &amp;amp; going without saying hello (sometimes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;missing please/thank you (sometimes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;speaking courteously to parents (2/3 times in general, particularly to mum).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;concentrating on study during study time rather than multitasking chat + study.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By boomerang effect the meaning was, we tend to micromanage him a little, and as he grows older are finding it is starting to just bounce off him and the harder we try the more it just comes back in the opposite direction like a boomerang.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gets frustrated when told off and says stop lecturing me &amp;amp; clearly wants to be left to his own devices in terms of studies and other areas but we are just trying to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you balance telling a kid what to do vs developing their character to be self sufficient?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has this year &amp;amp; next to finish highschool and get university entrance so we are really pressuring him to study as much as possible to get accepted into whichever degree he chooses (currently undecided but likes science field).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has bursts where he will study a lot, then cools off and does very little. It's inconsistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any good articles on this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13995" LastEditorUserId="13995" LastEditDate="2015-03-12T10:35:08.563" LastActivityDate="2015-03-15T15:09:41.740" Title="How do you handle the boomerang effect with Teens?" Tags="|teen|manners|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19006" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19007" CreationDate="2015-03-12T00:27:26.843" Score="4" ViewCount="498" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our doctor suspects our 2 year old daughter has Autism so we have booked her in for an official diagnosis and we are madly reading everything we can on the net.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can see under the DSM-IV Model that people fall under Aspergers, PDD-NOD, or classic Autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She had a delay in language (no dadda or mamma) so I know she would not meet the Aspergers. But motor skills seem fine, and her restrictive / repetitive play symptoms seem very mild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What percentage of diagnosis fall into each category? Is Aspergers, PDD-NOS or Classic Autism the most common?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13175" LastEditorUserId="13175" LastEditDate="2015-03-12T04:45:16.587" LastActivityDate="2015-03-12T05:41:43.077" Title="Where are the majority of children on the Autism Spectrum?" Tags="|autism|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19006" CreationDate="2015-03-12T05:41:43.077" Score="7" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What percentage of diagnosis fall into each category? Is Aspergers, PDD-NOS or Classic Autism the most common?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not an easy question to answer. Paper after paper disputes the validity of the manner of distinction of the subtypes, and differences between the DSM-IV and the DSM-V are significant, resulting in a reclassification of a large number of individuals into a different subtype. There is information out there, but it seems to be in flux, defying good statistical analysis. The most accepted and verifiable information seems to center around IQ. Many experts felt that autism is a &lt;em&gt;spectrum disorder&lt;/em&gt; and Asperger's disorder was actually high-functioning autism, adding to the confusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe someone else will have better luck answering this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the American Psychiatric Association:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Using DSM-IV, patients could be diagnosed with four separate disorders: autistic disorder, Asperger’s disorder, childhood disintegrative disorder, or the catch-all diagnosis of pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified. Researchers found that these separate diagnoses were not consistently applied across different clinics and treatment centers. Anyone diagnosed with one of the four pervasive developmental disorders (PDD) from DSM-IV should still meet the criteria for ASD in DSM-5 or another, more accurate DSM-5 diagnosis. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early intervention is also &lt;em&gt;relatively&lt;/em&gt; recent and its significant impact may make the classification more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She had a delay in language... But motor skills seem fine, and her restrictive/repetitive play symptoms seem very mild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's important. Of children who end up with a diagnosis of autism,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Studies have shown that parents of children with ASD notice a developmental problem before their child's first birthday. Concerns about vision and hearing were more often reported in the first year, and differences in social, communication, and fine motor skills were evident from 6 months of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your videotapes are an important resource for you (and your clinicians) in the diagnosing of your daughter. A suggestion, if I may: watching them will help you as much as, maybe even more than reading on the internet. With a notebook in hand, you can document behaviors (or lack thereof) by dates of appearance. This is a way that you can actively help in your daughter's diagnosis and treatment program. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are looking for good websites on autism, I hope you have discovered the CDC page on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/index.html&quot;&gt;Autism Spectrum Disorder&lt;/a&gt; (it has a wealth of information) and &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/tool-kits/100-day-kit&quot;&gt;Autism Speaks&lt;/a&gt; (more of a help after diagnosis).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please know that questions are always welcome here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/Autism%20Spectrum%20Disorder%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf&quot;&gt;Autism Spectrum Disorder&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-008-0541-2#page-1&quot;&gt;Examining the validity of autism spectrum disorder subtypes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1022270118899#page-1&quot;&gt;Outcome in High-Functioning Adults with Autism With and Without Early Language Delays: Implications for the Differentiation Between Autism and Asperger Syndrome&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://eden2.org/top-10-autism-websites-recommended-by-parents/&quot;&gt;Top 10 Autism Websites Recommended by Parents&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-03-12T05:41:43.077" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19003" CreationDate="2015-03-12T10:37:26.467" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the same problem. &#xA;Then the nurse suggested to feed the baby before changing him.&#xA;So my wife would feed him from one side, letting the baby soothe, then we would change him (without crying this time), finally feed on the other side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you make the baby burp before changing, or the &quot;handling&quot; may cause reflux.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was born in winter, so we also thought it was for the cold. Turns out that wasn't the case!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11222" LastEditorUserId="11222" LastEditDate="2015-03-13T09:02:17.457" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T09:02:17.457" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19003" CreationDate="2015-03-12T13:15:25.007" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One tip we got at the hospital when our first baby was born : &#xA;when you hold the baby's feet up with one hand (while using the other hand to wipe or manipulate the diaper), make sure you do not clench his/her ankles together as this can be painful (for the baby).&#xA;So hold one little foot between thumb and index finger, and the other between index finger and middle finger. That way your index finger will act as a &quot;buffer&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11938" LastActivityDate="2015-03-12T13:15:25.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19003" CreationDate="2015-03-12T13:24:16.743" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my sons' case, they both had severe reflux that was triggered by them lying on their backs. So diaper changing was painful for both of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried a few things to mitigate this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change the diaper on your lap instead of on a changing table. That way the baby's head can be elevated, which reduces the reflux.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep them on the changing table, but on their belly. It's actually easier to clean #2 this way (you don't need to lift the legs). Make sure baby can breathe of course.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though, odds are this isn't your kid's problem. Most advice I've heard involves distracting the kid while you change them (play or sing a silly song, have one parent do something unusual like trying to juggle). The object is to make a diaper change a fun routine rather than something traumatic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9191" LastActivityDate="2015-03-12T13:24:16.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19011" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-12T18:58:38.827" Score="1" ViewCount="4091" Body="&lt;p&gt;He never liked milk much I just wonder if there is a health reason for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13997" LastActivityDate="2015-03-12T20:12:26.683" Title="my 11 year old boy started craving white milk. Is there a health reason for that?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19011" CreationDate="2015-03-12T20:12:26.683" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;11 is about when boys often start growing to their adult size; often it's a bit later, but 11 is certainly within reasonable bounds for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cravings for particular foods are often a sign that you need something in them.  In the case of milk, you have a lot of things - some protein, some calcium, some vitamins, but mostly it's a rich, caloric drink.  It's not necessarily better than a lot of foods, but it's a lot more nutritious than water!  A lot of what is in milk is useful for bone and muscle development, both of which are going on at his age.  (Whey protein, from milk, is a common drink additive for body builders, for example.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if this is excessive or makes you uncomfortable, you should always speak with your son's doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-12T20:12:26.683" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18999" CreationDate="2015-03-13T00:16:27.620" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If swaddling isn't working for you, try one of several different types of blankets with built-in swaddle arms/velcro/etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found out shortly after coming home from the hospital that both of us are terrible at proper swaddling.  We bought a sleep blanket with built in swaddle arms that velcro in place.  Our daughter was sleeping through the night (8+ hours) at about 1 month old, and I credit the blankets for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4901" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T00:16:27.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19003" CreationDate="2015-03-13T01:21:31.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used water and bounty paper towels (I think they may have changed them, but at that time they used to be very soft) as diaper wipes.  I would get the tap water as hot as it would go to wet the towels (when traveling, we just used a spritz bottle with water at ambient temperature).  I put the wet paper towels under my shirt, directly on the skin on my collar bone, so they would stay warm until the moment they were about to be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently Germans have heating lamps that attach to their changing tables.  That, and other warming suggestions here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/10403/how-can-i-keep-my-newborn-baby-warm-during-nappy-change&quot;&gt;How can I keep my newborn baby warm during nappy change?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7526" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T01:21:31.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19016" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-13T01:44:08.180" Score="5" ViewCount="357" Body="&lt;p&gt;My teenage sister recently began telling her friends that she would like to study law in college.  I would like to help her become more assertive, confident, and have increased participation in citizenship. I want her to form her own opinions and have independent critical thinking. So I am nervous about how to approach this since I have such influence on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to just preach her my politics. I want to show her the value of participation in dialogue, discussion, and debate.  Any ideas on how to help my sister build efficacy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1973" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T07:17:26.767" Title="How can I encourage my teenage sister to have political efficacy?" Tags="|teen|siblings|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19016" CreationDate="2015-03-13T07:09:03.313" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In order to help someone to develop critical thinking, ask the right questions: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What's your thought on...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why do you think...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What would you do, if...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then actively &lt;strong&gt;listen&lt;/strong&gt;. That means not judging her opinion or the way she expresses herself (Teenagers can be quite extreme and radical!), but accepting her position and continuing the conversation from there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Act as &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil%27s_advocate&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;advocatus diaboli&lt;/a&gt; once in a while, but take care not to &quot;win&quot; arguments or overpower her verbally. The goal is to help her grow, not show your superiority. Agree to disagree if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just follow the current political, economic and social issues discussed on the media and work with these. If she is led to to some extra research on topics that spark her interest, even better and perhaps you will find that there are topics she already knows more about than you do. Acknowledge this and work on replacing the elder brother / younger sister relationship by something more equal over the next years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-03-13T07:17:26.767" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T07:17:26.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19018" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-13T07:55:21.330" Score="55" ViewCount="27211" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have enough space to explain my reasoning. I just don't want my daughter to be influenced by the media or the general opinions of &quot;society&quot;. My daughter is a baby in my womb.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've decided no TV ever, no movies, no pop music, no magazines, all books given to her will be read and approved by me first and will be classics or informative, toys will be fun, interesting and educational - no dolls, only Internet sites that I approve of, no public or even private schooling, I will give up my career to homeschool her despite seven years of university and professional development (I plan on starting my own business alongside).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Education will be in the form of critical thinking, primary and secondary research, one to one teaching by me, independent learning, and plenty of world travel and new experiences once she's old enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mainly, she will also be taught how to be confident (disregard other peoples judgements as worthless), do whatever she wants as long as she's making the intelligent choice, achieve goals, always think calmly and rationally, any problem is a challenge, never ever ever get depressed, and have unshakeable self-belief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the confidence part, I will be an attentive and devoted parent especially for her first two years. No distractions for me such as cellphone, Internet or TV, or work or alcohol or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, my husband and I will be modelling the ideal marriage for her: We equally share the housework; my husband respects my opinion; no emotional, verbal and (definitely no) physical abuse will be tolerated; my husband is supportive of me and my goals; he spends more time with the family, providing for us; he is a good example of an ideal husband and father, so she knows what an ideal man is and won't settle for anything less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I already completed the hard part by choosing the ideal man to father my baby. As I said, she is just a fetus now, but I'm planning early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything I have left out, or any ideas on how to raise an amazing daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13999" LastEditorUserId="25360" LastEditDate="2016-11-24T09:17:00.910" LastActivityDate="2021-09-04T20:17:33.613" Title="How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?" Tags="|television|homeschooling|gender|emotional-well-being|self-esteem|" AnswerCount="18" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19019" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-13T09:37:43.350" Score="9" ViewCount="12053" Body="&lt;p&gt;We live in a country where it's very popular to give toddlers a follow-up powdered formula called &quot;lait de croissance&quot; roughly translated as &quot;grow milk&quot; or &quot;toddler milk&quot; like the one pictured here: &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/WdenB.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Nestle NAN pro&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know the formula industry has a strong lobby here with pediatricians, and many doctors (including the one we visited for a one-year check-up) recommend using it instead of regular milk. Either type of milk would of course be combined  with a normal toddler diet consisting of three meals a day and eating a variety of solid foods: veggies, fruit, grains, meats, yogurt, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would organic whole cow's milk be better for a one-year-old toddler than this powdered stuff? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-17T17:03:40.300" LastActivityDate="2018-01-10T15:37:46.750" Title="Is organic whole cow's milk better than &quot;toddler milk&quot; powder for a 1 year old?" Tags="|toddler|food|nutrition|milk|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T10:57:25.890" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I think your intentions are good, I think that some of what you are doing will actually have negative effects. Dolls are a perfectly healthy toy - both my son and my daughters played with them. They also all played with toy shops, aeroplanes, racing cars, horses etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is: they are toys. Whether they have any gender affiliation in your family is up to you. You can try and keep them away from them, but that will fail at some point, so why not take a more positive approach instead and play with all these toys with your child in a positive way (eg a male or female doll can be the doctor, chef, parent, racing driver etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm with you on the media piece, advertising and political bias make it a nightmare - but without it you will have to be the media for your child. How will you pass on the types of news that will help her grow up aware of the world?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As @anongoodnurse said though, be aware that your plans will fail at more than one point - this won't be your fault, it's just that life has a habit of turning out differently than you expect - so be prepared to change your plans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T10:57:25.890" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T12:34:53.453" Score="67" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, it sounds as though you want to be the perfect family, and the perfect parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it's easy to understand why. Who wouldn't want the best of everything for their children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a couple of general comments, I hope you'll find them useful. Oh and before I forget, congratulations on your soon-to-arrive new addition to the family! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... some thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you expect yourself and your family to be perfect then you are expecting too much of yourself, your partner and your child.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's how one article about 'perfect' parenting describes the issue:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't even try to be a perfect parent. Try to model graciousness while being humanly imperfect.  Your child will never be perfect, because she's human. So having a perfect parent would be a terrible role model.  If your child sees you as perfect, she'll feel worse about herself, since she knows she's not. And if your child sees you as imperfect but not willing to admit it, what are you modeling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've established that it would be terrible for your child if you were perfect. (Liberating, huh?!)  What your child DOES needs is a role model for how to graciously acknowledge when we miss the mark, how to apologize, and how to make amends.  So give up on perfection.  Forgive yourself for being human.  Heck, APPLAUD yourself for being human and live as fully as you can.  That means you'll make mistakes. They aren't mistakes if you grow from them and repair any problems you create. They're opportunities to love more. Starting with yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ahaparenting.com/blog/How_to_forgive_yourself&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;It's Better for Your Child If You're Not Perfect&lt;/a&gt;, Aha! Parenting .com, 13 Oct 2013&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So -  you don't have to be a 'perfect' parent. Nobody is. If you were then that would be weird and unhealthy. You just need to be you, and that's enough&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to read up on the concept of '&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_enough_parent&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;good enough&lt;/a&gt;' parenting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott had a lot to say about real-life mothers. As a pediatrician at the Paddington Green Hospital in London—and then later as a child psychoanalyst and consultant—Winnicott interacted with literally thousands of mothers and their babies. Through these experiences, he came to believe that the way to be a good mother is to be a good enough mother. For me, that phrase says it all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Winnicott’s good enough mother is sincerely preoccupied with being a mother. She pays attention to her baby. She provides a holding environment. She offers both physical and emotional care. She provides security. When she fails, she tries again. She weathers painful feelings. She makes sacrifices. Winnicott’s good enough mother is not so much a goddess; she is a gardener. She tends her baby with love, patience, effort, and care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I like about Winnicott’s picture of the good enough mother is that she is a three-dimensional human being. She is a mother under pressure and strain. She is full of ambivalence about being a mother. She is both selfless and self-interested. She turns toward her child and turns away from him. She is capable of great dedication yet she is also prone to resentment. Winnicott even dares to say that the good enough mother loves her child but also has room to hate him. She is not boundless.  She is real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Real mothers are the best kind of mothers (and the only kind!). It takes an imperfect mother to raise a child well. You see, children need to learn about life through real experiences. They need to learn to deal with disappointments and frustrations. They need to overcome their greed and their wish to be the center of the universe. They need to learn to respect the needs and limitations of other people, including their mothers. And they need to learn to do things for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201205/in-search-the-good-enough-mother&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;In Search of the &amp;quot;Good Enough&amp;quot; Mother; How to honor the complexity of motherhood&lt;/a&gt;, Psychology Today, 9 May 2012&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for example, you talk about how your partner should be &amp;quot;an ideal husband and father&amp;quot; - this isn't realistic. No father (and no husband) is perfect. It's part of being human. You cannot have the &amp;quot;ideal marriage&amp;quot; - nobody can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And your daughter, you're planning, will &amp;quot;always think calmly and rationally&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;never ever ever get depressed&amp;quot;. A person who is always calm and never sad, always rational and never impulsive or emotional, is not a person who is psychologically healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it's natural to want to protect a child from pain - psychological pain as well as physical pain. But setbacks are part of life; if we try to protect our children from all unhappy feelings then that's not going to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the current buzzwords in educational/parenting circles is &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_resilience&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;resilience&lt;/a&gt;; the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jrf.org.uk/sites/files/jrf/parenting-resilience-children.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Joseph Rowntree Foundation has a useful factsheet on parenting and resilience&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a summary of the concept:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tend to idealize childhood as a carefree time, but youth alone offers no shield against the emotional hurts and traumas many children face. Children can be asked to deal with problems ranging from adapting to a new classroom to bullying by classmates or even abuse at home. Add to that the uncertainties that are part of growing up, and childhood can be anything but carefree. The ability to thrive despite these challenges arises from the skills of resilience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that resilience skills can be learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Building resilience — the ability to adapt well to adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress — can help our children manage stress and feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. However, being resilient does not mean that children won't experience difficulty or distress. Emotional pain and sadness are common when we have suffered major trauma or personal loss, or even when we hear of someone else's loss or trauma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resilience.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Resilience Guide for Parents and Teachers&lt;/a&gt;, American Psychological Association&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the idea here is not to try to protect a child from any bad thing that might happen to them - because that's impossible - but rather to help them learn the coping skills they'll need when bad things do happen to them in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-14T10:03:39.747" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T12:40:44.680" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're overthinking this a bit.  It's great for brainstorming, but don't let little things like whether or not she gets to play with dolls distract you from your primary laudable goal of raising an amazing daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, why &lt;em&gt;wouldn't&lt;/em&gt; an intelligent and happy child be able to enjoy and possibly even benefit from a bit of TV?  What's so terrible about, say, &lt;em&gt;Frozen&lt;/em&gt; (aside from it inducing your daughter to buy an endless stream of toys and such)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The world is an interesting place!  Don't hide your daughter from most of it--go explore it with her.  Of course you have to be there to say no: not too many sweets, not too much TV, no you can't have a fifth Elsa doll even if you did cut the hair off of the second one.  But I recommend you focus more on what you expose her to than what you hide her from, and when there is something that you think should be avoided, you should (as early as possible) engage her in understanding why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early reading*?  Early potty training?  Gymnastics?  Martial arts?  Piano?  Violin?  Nature documentaries?  Physics?  Computer programming?  Basketball?  Pets--dogs, cats, guinea pigs?  What will teach her the value of focus and practice?  What will teach her self-reliance (that is, to handle things &lt;em&gt;without you there at all&lt;/em&gt;)?  What will teach her self-control and train her willpower?  What will teach her kindness and empathy?  What will teach her perseverance?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And remember, she will be a person, too.  Raising her is something you do &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; her not &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; her.  You can't ask her what she wants yet, or figure out what's working, what's not, and how to make it better.  But you will soon.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastEditorUserId="314" LastEditDate="2015-03-13T12:47:39.350" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T12:47:39.350" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T12:58:09.953" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is about to turn 11, and I have similar hopes for her. Each of the paragraphs below is a category that her father and I have found to be influences on her in some way, and ways we try to approach them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Provide positive examples.&lt;/strong&gt; This needs to be both men and women, of course: women who embody the values and confidence you hope for her to have, and men who support, value, and respect the women in their life. The most present and influential examples are her parents (and you seem to have that covered), but also consider the effect of family, (your) friends, community leaders, etc. (Also teachers, which you may think irrelevant in homeschooling -- however, if you ever enroll her in any activities like sports, gymnastics, computer programming, whatever, that extracurricular would still be taught or led by someone.) Be forthright and honest with these adults in your life about the values you hope to encourage in your child, and seek their help and support while cultivating those ideals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Positive examples can also be found outside acquaintances: female politicians, scientists, engineers, etc. who are (or were, history is important!) trailblazers and leaders, demonstrating &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Socialization.&lt;/strong&gt; Every child needs to have friends their age. These peers (both boys and girls) are met in a variety of settings: play groups (from baby on up), organized activities (sports, dance, book club), community organizations (church, volunteer group), or school. &lt;em&gt;This is the factor that you, as a parent, have the least control over.&lt;/em&gt; You can dictate which activities she is involved in (for example, opt for homeschooling), but there's still a practical limit to just how much the pool of potential friends can be narrowed down, and which children from that group your daughter may like best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those kids, whether best friends or just acquaintances, will be raised differently, some may be bullies, some may be sexist -- even ones who are raised &quot;right&quot; (by your standards) have the potential to be rude, cranky little brats now and then. It happens, they're kids. The key is how you &lt;em&gt;encourage her to engage with their perspectives&lt;/em&gt;, having conversations about their attitudes (particularly negative ones) and ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hardest part of a daughter's social influences, and I think moreso in your scenario, is how to deal with a friend who has [something] when your child/family does not. In my daughter's case, despite a curated set of movies, TV shows, and other media (which she authentically enjoys while we're watching together), she still mopes that she can't watch whatever latest tween-targeted drivel that all her friends are giggling about at school. This leads me to...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Entertainment and instructional media.&lt;/strong&gt; There is actually a lot that can be gained from media, even when the media itself contains bad messages. The obvious &quot;good&quot; media would be science shows, news coverage of positive role models, shows or movies with strong female characters -- these can be vetted similar to books. One of my daughter's favorite YouTube videos is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpjmeyI2pfI&quot;&gt;Sesame Street's &quot;Women Can&quot;&lt;/a&gt;. I think that regardless of the &quot;quality&quot; of the content, however, a more important factor is being aware of what is consumed (reading or watching alongside is excellent) and being ready to have discussions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Awareness.&lt;/strong&gt; I feel that knowledge of current events and society is important for her to develop as she grows up. Otherwise, once she hits 18 and goes to college, she'll be completely unprepared for the world she encounters. The first time you're told &quot;you can't do [thing], you're a girl&quot;, it's a surprising and unpleasant feeling. I think that being able to bounce back from that requires self-confidence, but it also helps to have some practice, as well as understanding where that objection might be coming from (fear, misunderstanding, ignorance, stupidity) -- so you can engage with it in an appropriate manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Engagement.&lt;/strong&gt; The goal of this is eventually that she'll be confident and saavy enough to engage with discrimination she'll encounter as an adult, but the groundwork has to be laid earlier. Let's say I restrict a certain source of information (&quot;you can't watch Latest Tween-Targeted Drivel&quot;) -- she will want to know &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;. And that leads to subsequent, harder questions. &lt;em&gt;A TV show can't just make me feel bad about myself.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;em&gt;Friend watches it all the time!&lt;/em&gt; &lt;em&gt;If it's so bad, why would it be on TV?&lt;/em&gt; These are all good questions to ask, and can lead to thoughtful, empowering discussions. Even great literature, &lt;em&gt;even the classics&lt;/em&gt;, has plenty of tricky or questionable content that should be explored, criticized, and questioned. Rather than avoiding media altogether, I'm instead trying to cultivate critical consumption. When she sees something that conveys a biased or bigoted perspective, I want her to think about why that isn't accurate, what exactly they're getting wrong, ways it could potentially be fixed (could the casting be changed? could the plot or character be developed differently?), and so on. When she's reading a book or watching tween-targeted drivel at a friend's house, she has a foundation of self-confidence and social justice that she can use to actively engage with negative messages, whether subtle or obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T12:58:09.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T12:58:18.293" Score="386" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, I have to admit that while reading your question I was wondering if you're being serious. For me (as a hopeful future father with the same questions in mind), your solutions sound shocking and I would certainly advise against them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To reflect on some points...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) &lt;em&gt;&quot;no TV ever, no movies, no pop music, no magazines&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this also mean no friends? Because if she has friends she will be exposed to those and other influences.&#xA;She will feel excluded from society if she is &lt;em&gt;forbidden&lt;/em&gt; to see any of it, and she will eventually hate you for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most rebellious people I know (who often ended up rebelling too hard), are those who had parents doing exactly what you describe to them - and to a &lt;em&gt;far&lt;/em&gt; lesser degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; backfire, and it will end up hurting both of you in the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) &lt;em&gt;&quot;no public or even private schooling&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you an expert on everything? With all due respect (I don't know you), why do you want to limit your child to your own knowledge and worldview?&#xA;Personally, I hope my children will know more than I do, and change my views as they grow up. We are not perfect, neither me nor you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) &lt;em&gt;&quot;Education will be in the form of critical thinking, primary and secondary research, one to one teaching by me, independent learning, and plenty of world travel and new experiences once she's old enough.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sounds great, but is in absolute contradiction with your suggested methods.&#xA;Critical thinking is good. Questioning things is good. Independent learning is good. However, to get there, one needs to be exposed to many opposing worldviews, philosophies, sources of knowledge. By being her only teacher, as well as her mother, your opinion will not be questioned, and she will not learn to really think critically - just to be critical of the same things you are critical of - in a learned way, not self-reached.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, I would ask you to consider how you can teach someone critical thinking without exposing them to anything to be critical about (those supposedly bad influences).&#xA;You don't educate a person by not exposing them to bad things. You educate them by showing them the bad things and commenting together on why they are bad (in addition, this should be done more by asking questions and letting the person reach their own connclusions, instead of providing answers in a dogmatic way).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) &lt;em&gt;&quot;Mainly, she will also be taught how to be confident (disregard other peoples judgements as worthless)&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of the biggest problems of modern kids. They have too much confidence and too little real substance to actually be confident about.&#xA;Doing this is the recipe for raising a spoiled kid who feels special and entitled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I would suggest to teach her to listen to everyone's opinion (or &quot;judgement&quot;), and evaluate it for herself. See if there's any truth there or not. Often, there is, and one failing to realize that feels no need to change (even when they are doing something completely wrong), and regardless of all of us thinking our children &quot;special&quot; (or even &quot;perfect&quot;), we all do want them to grow and improve - change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) &lt;em&gt;&quot;do whatever she wants as long as she's making the intelligent choice&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please do consider that two intelligent well-meaning people can have different opinions on what is an intelligent choice. If at some point you think a choice of hers is not intelligent, that doesn't necessarily mean you're right, or that she's wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6) &lt;em&gt;&quot;...and have unshakeable self belief.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a remark: this can't really be taught, this comes from previous accomplishments through both success and failure.&#xA;Any other way will be self-belief that will shatter the first time she fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I would say try to control her waaaaay less.&#xA;Don't treat her as a project, but as an amazing human being (who will have her own wishes which you should respect and help her accomplish them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14001" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T12:58:18.293" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T13:07:25.157" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just wanted to note:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you say completely NO to any kind of useless media like TV, films, actual books,... and you do only home schooling it will be pretty hard for your daugther to find friends. What should they talk about? Most kids speak about the lastest film, music, TV, internet memes, social networks or school events.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter will not be able to participate in all of these conversations. That will make it very tought to socialize. But to be able to socialize is very important part in everyones life. As adult all these as child learned social skills matters in a lot of situations. Like finding a partner, at the workplace with your collegues or your boss,...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What will you do to help developing these skillset? Where should/will your daugther get in contact with other kids? How will you limit the media exposure if your child is at a friends home? How should your daugher learn to handle such exposure if not learned at home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14002" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T13:07:25.157" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18916" CreationDate="2015-03-13T14:20:48.330" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on this statement,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I can't even set him in his crib without him going nuts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your 1-year-old has a negative association with his crib, so sleep training tips aren't going to help much yet, since they rely on setting the stage for a calm and restful place to sleep which won't happen if he's already &quot;going nuts&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem with our 1-year-old, when she would even be brought to her room, she would start to cry out of desperation that she would be left alone to fall asleep there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started a simple habit of taking her to her room to play on a regular basis. I'd suggest you do the same with your son: when you're having a particularly happy play time together in the living room or wherever, and when it's nowhere near bedtime/naptime, relocate it (including you and the toys) to his room. Then after a few times of that, move him and his toy to his crib to play. After a while, he will hopefully lose the negative association with the crib and then you can start with the sleep training tips that others have commented about - especially having a consistent going to sleep ritual, in which he ends up in his crib sleepy but awake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've done this with our daughter once she got over the negative association with her crib, and although it wasn't an easy process, now we do pj's, tooth brushing, a story, her cuddle kitty toy, and then into her crib, kiss goodnight and turn out the lights.  All told, it takes 15 min and results (most nights) in no crying. We followed the advice of Ferber which is widely misinterpreted as being an all-in &quot;cry it out&quot; solution (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0743201639&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T14:20:48.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19019" CreationDate="2015-03-13T15:04:57.710" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;For most children, cow's milk (organic or not at your preference) will be the superior choice.  Whole milk is usually recommended from 1-2 years old, although there is starting to be some preference for 2% even at that age for children at high risk and who have good, healthy diets with plenty of fats and vegetables (like my second, who at 18 months though an 8oz steak was a nice appetizer, and eats three eggs for breakfast some days).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toddler formula tends to be sweeter than milk (which might help encourage them to drink it, but in general sweeter is not a plus), has a few extra vitamins (particularly DHA), and not much else.  It's quite a bit more expensive than regular milk in general, and if your toddler has a normal, healthy diet, you're going to be fine on milk.  You can always supplement with a multivitamin if you're worried about particular vitamins. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;DHA is a good thing to have, and something that can be hard in some areas to obtain; fish is the best source, and in my experience kids &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt; fish when prepared appropriately and not too strongly flavored (though both of mine think salmon is the best, so who knows).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is very undersized and having difficulty eating solid foods, then this may not apply; discuss with your pediatrician.  If you feel your pediatrician is simply marketing to you, consider getting a second recommendation from a different pediatrician; that's generally true any time you feel uncomfortable with a recommendation from your pediatrician.  You should be able to trust your pediatrician to give good advice not substantially affected by marketing.  (In the US, we have laws that help prevent this to some extent, by limiting what doctors may receive from marketing reps, though of course this is never perfect.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some articles about the difference; these are not scientific papers but seem to be very consistent nonetheless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2398575/Mums-waste-500-year-baby-milk-formula-Ordinary-cows-milk-healthier-cheaper-says-Which.html&quot;&gt;Mums waste £500 a year&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/feeding/feed12yr.html#&quot;&gt;Nemours&lt;/a&gt; recommends only using toddler formula as a gateway to milk (half milk/half formula mixtures) if your toddler won't drink regular milk&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T15:04:57.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T15:18:38.420" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Someday, your daughter is going to step into the world, full of good and bad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way I see is to make your daughter realize that she should not compare herself with anyone. Because as she grows up, she will be like every teenage monster (I have a sister at this age so I know, cheers). It's a good thing that that your thoughts are exactly what every parents wish they should have done long time back, but you are also creating a prison for her with illusions of free will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say the best way to make her a confident women for tomorrow is to start with martial arts classes. It not only teaches you how to control yourself, but if taught properly, it also teaches you humiliation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And please don't let her watch these weird cartoon shows on televisions. The makers are stupid. Let her watch the old ANIME SHOWS instead like Batman, Superman, Dragonball and so on. Believe me, I have twins, and my wife is really proud of my decision not to let my kids see these stupid cartoon shows. I really don't have to care about them. Visit a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Diego_Comic-Con_International&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;comic convention&lt;/a&gt; and ask any parents who make their little kids dress up like some avatar of a show, and you will get the answer yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's better not to give her confined freedom. And most importantly, don't COMPARE her, because that is the worst thing you will ever do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Appreciate her incompleteness and make her feel that you both are complete each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a pet, dog or cat whatever suits you both. It's good to one, seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure she is able to defend herself mentally and physically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's okay if she sees bad in this world. You cannot stop her. But make sure she should stand for what is right and withing her capable hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't let her be a religious fool too. It's good to have faith, but blind faith blinds everything. This world is already filled with religious idiots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last, but not least, by the time she is a teenager, make her realize that &quot;Wisdom is the one thing that makes growing old worth it&quot;. And to top that &quot;Our lives are remembered by the things we leave behind for our children&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congrats in advance when the princess comes. Cheers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14012" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2016-01-13T23:01:56.540" LastActivityDate="2016-01-13T23:01:56.540" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18923" CreationDate="2015-03-13T16:31:39.243" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask her why she said that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with (and upvoted) all of Erica's thoughts as good advice generally in this situation, but I think the first thing to do is ask her why she said those things.  I like Erica's advice in how to do it, too, but make sure you stick with it and make her feel safe about answering the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter did something similar the summer she turned five.  The specific words were, &quot;I wish I was dead,&quot; but the impact on me (terror, grief, guilt...) was huge.  I had several panicky days of this before I managed to figure out what was going on.  It turned out to be a combination of 1) her being very unhappy about some specific, ongoing things in her life and 2) her being very familiar with a movie where the little girl used those particular words to express her deep unhappiness with the unfair stuff happening in &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, it was not that my daughter really wished she was dead, in all its horribleness, but had learned that those were words people said when they were miserable and bad things were happening in their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately I didn't pick up on the coincidence of those words at the time, and I had a terrified few days before I finally asked her &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she was saying that.  (I didn't ask right away because I had assumed that if there were problems in her life she would have told me about them; and that if she were depressed, she would be too young to be able to explain it even if I asked; and I hoped that by &quot;loving her more&quot; I could get her to stop saying it.)   When I finally asked her, and kept asking her through her somewhat muddled replies, it emerged that her current nanny had what we both considered an unfair way of punishing her for &quot;misbehaving.&quot;  Once I knew what my daughter was so upset about I was able to put a stop to it, and my daughter stopped saying, &quot;I wish I was dead.&quot;  I also told her that she needed to tell me whenever she was unhappy, so we could do something about it together.  (We never discussed where she got the words, BTW -- it wasn't until I watched the movie again a few years later that I figured it out.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly a six-year-old gets around more than a pre-kindergarten five year-old, and has more sources of stress in her life, so the chances are high your daughter's issues (whatever they are -- maybe related to getting too much criticism from somewhere?) don't have so simple a fix -- or it's possible that she is clinically depressed and will need to see a specialist -- but it makes sense to start by asking her why she said those things.  And if applicable, to give her different, more useful (and less terrifying!) things to say when she's feeling unhappy/overwhelmed in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2015-03-13T17:09:35.800" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T17:09:35.800" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T17:13:28.777" Score="56" Body="&lt;p&gt;We homeschool our kids, so perhaps I can provide a unique perspective.  A lot of the other answers seem to be primarily worried about friends.  People sparked friendships for millenia before television and public education, and they can do so today.  It's hard to see when your own childhood friendships formed at school over common pop culture interests, but there are many other ways to form friendships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me approach this from your point of view.  You're wanting to transmit your values to your children.  Sheltering is an effective way to have children share your values, but not a very effective way for them to continue sharing those values as adults, which is really your end goal.  Google &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=former+quiverfull&quot;&gt;former quiverfull&lt;/a&gt; to see some relatively extreme examples.  Those children were raised sheltered in order to imbue relatively extreme religious values, but the principles apply to any belief system.  When those children left home and began making decisions for themselves, they not only rejected the more extreme beliefs of their parents, but many of them rejected &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; their parents' beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children learn to make good decisions not by having options removed from them, but by getting plenty of practice making good decisions for themselves.  If as adults, they decide for themselves to introduce television into their lives, what guidance will they have on how to select worthwhile programming?  It's far better to let them make small mistakes as children, so they won't make large mistakes as adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T17:13:28.777" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T17:28:15.633" Score="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You lack one key: To be wonderful, to be amazing, to be successful, she must not be locked in this overwhelming strategy.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Sadly, you are contributing to &quot;this sexist world&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems the motivation behind her future micro-managed life is that she is female, and as such will require much more &quot;equipment&quot; in order to survive. This is false.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter doesn't require surreal levels of management and/or coddling to become successful any more than your son would.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play emulates life. If you plan to raise your daughter and be the only direct influence in her life you can expect that she will want to emulate your behavior at play with a doll.&#xA;Playing with this doll does not mean she will fail in life, it simply means she is learning how the world around her works. This sets her up for an expectation that girls must be kept in rigid guidance at all times, that a girl will fail if she is not coddled by her mother, that a girl must be shut out from society, and must only accept direction from herself. She will not belong in the world, and this is not a unifying message.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, she doesn't need a flawless husband to have a successful marriage. She isn't ill equipped as a woman, she will contribute to her marriage in a way that complements her hypothetical future spouse. Would you be fretting about finding the perfect spouse if you were having a son instead?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not expect your daughter to live free from the negative influence of a sexist world when you've been teaching her that she required so much more to succeed than most will ever get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may still succeed in life, but it will be only after she escapes the rigid confines of your detailed plan for her upbringing. When she does, I expect she will have a doll collection as a tribute to her lost childhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14007" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T17:28:15.633" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-13T17:42:06.030" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to take your post and translate it into a list of one-word goals for qualities you'd like your daughter to have, let me know if I seem to have missed anything or misinterpreted:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Confidence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Perseverance&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Individuality&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Happy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Intelligent&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Knowledgeable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ambitious&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your goals for your daughter sound very well-thought out. You clearly want the best for her and I agree this is a great list to aim towards. There is no &quot;best path&quot; to reach these goals for her - you just have to take it one day at a time and always keep them in the back of your mind, along with plenty of love, guidance, and support - but only when she needs it, or she will not learn to be self-sufficient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there is one thing that really stands out to me...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I just don't want my daughter to be influenced by the media or the general opinions of &quot;society&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems to come from a feeling of wanting to &lt;strong&gt;protect&lt;/strong&gt; her. Protection can be a tricky thing. It can be loving to protect your child from some things, until you are able to impart the &lt;code&gt;knowledge&lt;/code&gt; required for them to handle those things with your help, and then on their own. Take care that you do not protect her out of &lt;strong&gt;fear&lt;/strong&gt;. How would that help her &lt;code&gt;confidence&lt;/code&gt;, if she were protected from society because you don't trust she would have the &lt;code&gt;intelligence&lt;/code&gt; to use the &lt;code&gt;knowledge&lt;/code&gt; that you've given her to come to right decisions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will make mistakes, as will you, and your husband. There will be difficult times. There will be sad times. This is life after-all, and even if you could avoid those times, it would prevent her from becoming &lt;code&gt;knowledagable&lt;/code&gt; enough to learn how to &lt;code&gt;persevere&lt;/code&gt; and handle it on her own later in life. The important thing to demonstrate is, how do you handle these times?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastEditorUserId="11426" LastEditDate="2015-03-13T17:47:47.597" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T17:47:47.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19005" CreationDate="2015-03-13T19:49:39.287" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are two factors in play that caused what you observe.  His personal motivation and your parental motivation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is at an age where he really needs to start doing things on his own initiative.  He also needs to realize that slacking off has consequences and it is usually better to learn it in high school than post secondary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a talk with him and aim to stop micromanaging him and let his initiative play out, and also tell him that he will be responsible for his actions.  You need to make sure that he experiences failure and learn how to overcome them, because life will be like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13754" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T19:49:39.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19003" CreationDate="2015-03-13T22:33:14.420" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to being cold, which is a very good answer, I would add that you should make it a fun time :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a mobile above the changing table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blow kisses on the baby's tummy. Kiss his toes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Smile and talk to him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a little older: Be silly. My husband always makes funny faces and puts the diaper on the baby's head, or his head. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-03-13T22:33:14.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2015-03-14T21:01:55.647" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you provide her with lots of leggings to wear under her short skirts.  Leggings are very trendy now, and wearing a short skirt over them gives the look that is &quot;in&quot; right now, but the body is better covered.  I've seen this look from some young teens I know, and it allows them to remain stylish, while maintaining a certain level of modesty.  I think your bottom line is that she should dress according to her school's dress code, unless you are intent on doing what you're doing.  Good luck with this precious girl, who so wants to fit in, but hasn't really yet found her &quot;look.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14031" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-14T21:52:24.107" LastActivityDate="2015-03-14T21:52:24.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-14T22:34:25.860" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like what you are hoping to do. However, be very careful with how you approach raising your child in this manner! I was raised much like this... For the first 13 years of my life. There are numerous opportunities that I missed, chances to do things that would have been very helpful to me now. Also, once your daughter leaves her seclusion (and trust me, she will, no matter how much you try to shelter her), it will look like a cruel, confusing hell-hole that she will have difficulty facing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I left my sheltered world when my grandma had a stroke and I spent long periods of time with her in the hospital and then nursing home/rehab. Another thing was when my niece's mother attempted suicide... I didn't even know what suicide was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had never been in a movie theater up until I was 17; that was a dizzying experience if I had it to do over again I would have done it when I was younger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, please keep in mind, that as your daughter grows and matures she may develop interests in certain aspects of life that you can't readily teach at home. For example, you can teach a very compelling and well thought out biology course; however, when she decides she wants to take a biology or chemistry course at a college level that requires an electron microscope... As I said, that is just an example and although I have wanted an electron microscope for sometime (and &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; don't have one!) that is not where my main interest lies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although I lived a sheltered life for sometime I recently decide to become a firefighter/EMT (Emergency Medical Technician). This is not something that can really be taught at home - although obviously, you can learn fire science and anatomy and physiology at home and they will be helpful later. But this is what I'm talking about, if your daughter were to decide to do that as I have she will be thrown to the wolves. She will not be at all prepared for what she will see and hear in fire and EMS. You will see death, destruction, drug use and hear massive amounts of profane and graphic language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, she will have difficulty getting used to having a class schedule and may have difficulty meeting public or private education requirements later should she decide to do something that requires this type of education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, I do not want to discourage you from trying this. Just please know that it won't necessarily be a &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; way of life for her in a few years. Also, take into consideration that with the way the world we live in is being operated this &lt;em&gt;is not&lt;/em&gt; a particularly good way to be raised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sheltered life? Yes, that is good. Just consider not letting it get too sheltered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning how to think rather than what to think? Excellent!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Critical thinking? Outstanding! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;To summarize:&lt;/strong&gt; I think what you are about to embark on will be an amazing journey for both you and your child! Just please think carefully before sheltering her completely. Homeschool by all means! Just be sure to get as much advice as you can from other homeschoolers! Expose her to the culture in which you live. Encourage curiosity. Get her a complete set of encyclopedias and let her read them at her leisure. Also, let her read the newspaper... &lt;em&gt;NOT&lt;/em&gt; the sports section but rather the section with the &lt;strong&gt;real&lt;/strong&gt; news in it; local, state, national and world news. So much of the knowledge I have now has not come from my family, school books or internet but rather educational TV shows (not cartoons but rather shows like Nova and Nature), the news paper and my set of 1980's encyclopedias. Despite the numerous times that my mother cautioned me that there may be things in there that would hurt me, I knew what my limits were emotionally and mentally and what I read and saw made me stronger, not weaker.&#xA;Considering all this, I think I have turned out pretty well. I am shy but am starting to grow out of it. After some amount of discussion, disagreement and haggling, I have obtained an EMS internship, learned to drive and am now a licensed driver and have applied to fire school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My only regret is that I did not receive at least one year of school either public or private.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you success. I congratulate you on your decision to homeschool. I hope my experience will be helpful to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastActivityDate="2015-03-14T22:34:25.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12682" CreationDate="2015-03-15T00:08:09.060" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why is it a requirement for them to keep their socks on? If they are kicking them off in their sleep and not waking up cold they were probably hot when they kicked them off (consciously or not!). My house is usually in the 50's in the winter and I do &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; wear socks! They are very uncomfortable for me, slippery and mean that I must either wear slippers or shoes all day. I don't like wearing shoes and I don't have slippers. I frequently go outside barefoot when it is well below freezing and have even walked barefoot in the snow. So I never have seen a real necessity to wear socks or shoes unless I am going someplace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the children are waking up cold then you should consider sewing a pair of socks to the base of each child's p.j. pants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2015-03-15T17:18:30.460" LastActivityDate="2015-03-15T17:18:30.460" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18840" CreationDate="2015-03-15T07:34:36.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;I mean, it is excessively sport-oriented: you cannot put your hands on the opponent's face, you cannot kick nor hit him, etc...&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sport-oriented or Street-practical.Anything you learn, it should be for self-defense and not for amplifying violence(it seems like you just want to hit people just because you can:) or maybe I'm misunderstood)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, coming to what you need to choose in order to achieve a street-practical confidence as well as trained in a way to get out of any situation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For ex: half-a-dozen-to-more opponents with weapons with anger with big biceps&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Or&lt;br&gt;&#xA;One skinny guy pointing a gun right behind your skull.(I'm serious!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should go for Krav-maga.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Its for anyone and everyone.It a self-defense system and anyone could need it.&#xA;Kids too young (under 13,but it differs) should not do this because the safety gear would not be appropriate for their body-size and the training is quite intense.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Its not a martial art and its not as much sporty as y'know karate, wing chun, judo , aikido etc.&#xA;But, it will train you to stand alone and disable your opponents in the least possible time.It can be dangerous for the receiver(one who you target) because it consists of moves which target all areas of your body.&#xA;It teaches you to use your attacker's force against him/her.&#xA;It trains you mentally to defend and counter-attack at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get a good book on Krav-maga such as &lt;em&gt;230 self defense tehniques in krav-maga&lt;/em&gt;(I think that's what it is named) but i recommend you join your nearest Krav maga institute because you are supposed to train around people to learn better.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;for ex: They are going to literally make you stand in the middle of a room while 3-4 opponents(your fellow training mates) will create a situation of total stress.&#xA;(With careful supervision,of course)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Long story short, if you really want to feel safe walking on the streets or any place where people might try to steal, stab or bully you, krav-maga is what you need to approach.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also, brazilian jujitsu can be quite sporty and very much street-realistic, or so I've heard.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A little History:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Quoting &lt;em&gt;wiki&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;In the mid-1930s, anti-Semitic riots began to threaten the Jews of Bratislava, Czechoslovakia. (The country was created from parts of Austro-Hungary in 1918- a result of World War l) Lichtenfeld became the leader of a group of Jewish boxers and wrestlers who took to the streets to defend Jewish neighborhoods against the growing numbers of national socialist party and anti-Semitic thugs. Lichtenfeld quickly discovered, however, that actual fighting was very different from competition fighting, and although boxing and wrestling were good sports, they were not always practical for the aggressive and brutal nature of street combat. It was then that he started to re-evaluate his ideas about fighting and started developing the skills and techniques that would eventually become Krav Maga. Having become a thorn in the side of the equally anti-Semitic local authorities, Lichtenfeld left his home, family and friends in 1940 on the last refugee ship to escape Europe.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Know that whatever you choose within martial arts or any self-defense training,&#xA;do it for the love of knowledge and to provide defense for you, your family and anyone else who need it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ps: If you Combine brazilian jujitsu + krav maga + taek-won-do + wing chun + kick boxing.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You will be A-mae-zinga!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14045" LastEditorUserId="14045" LastEditDate="2015-03-15T07:46:14.577" LastActivityDate="2015-03-15T07:46:14.577" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18923" CreationDate="2015-03-15T09:14:25.473" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make up a story that's related to your own past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sit her down and talk to her about your own childhood.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Tell her while laughing(not too much.she must take you seriously) that   &quot;I was just awful when i was little.&quot;IF i had a friend like you I would have turned out to become what you are now.You are perfect.But there is no hope for me now(laugh)&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Compare her with others(but don't make it a habit)  &quot;That kid who lives two blocks away, have you seen her dress? she is nothing like my fairy lil' daughter? Were you a fashion designer or somethin' in your past life?&quot;(Please laugh, laugh a lot even if she doesn't)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Make her relate to yourself&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She will find lots of people to whom she could relate but relating to her father/mother will get her soft side out, she will eventually want to break out of that shell of depression and would want to fix it.&#xA;And when she wants to fix it, she must see her father standing there smiling and not looking at her suspiciously thinking &quot;Is she tryna commit suicide or somethin'?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You MUST make sure she feels there have been people who felt just like her or worse but at the same time she is stronger than anybody else in the whole world.&#xA;How to do it?&#xA;Get her to participate in certain activities of yours that has nothing to do with her skills or interests.&#xA;things like&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ask for her help while you try to buy a present for her mom.(It does not have to be your wife's birthday or anything to give her  a present)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;or while you fix an electric board tell her to wear rubber flip-flops and stand behind you and to prompt you in case you do anything wrong and make a fast serious comment like &quot;Im not good at this, HOPE YOU ARE&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She might want to feel that people around her need her.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She might want to feel that she is much better at making stuff happen than she give herself credit for.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can you tell if she's depressed?&#xA;Look for these signs:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she breathes, does she exhales and inhales at an irregular interval.&#xA;(people who are in distress or nervous, have irregular breath issues)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she eat a lot sometimes and sometimes no mood to eat at all?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is she always agitated to reply whether you ask her the simplest questions or even if you enter the room, is she like all flustered and trying to look like she is perfectly ok?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she tries to look for stuff all the time to comfort her&#xA;things like Tv.&#xA;-lack of physical energy.(Does she take a while to reply you?does she reply too low in volume?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find the above signs, then yes she is depressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How can you help her if she is?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's completely my opinion and I might be totally wrong but it's something that she has acquired from her sorroundings(hearing people talk, from some TV show or something).&#xA;It's a phase she is going through and not particularly a very very serious issue.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's like one of those times when say you were in a public situation and people made fun of you, when you return home, your older brother cracks a joke on how you ugly your nose looks and then out of nowhere you catch a commercial on Tv that sells a product to REGAIN YOUR SOCIAL REPUTATION, GET YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD AND FAMILY MEMBERS TO RESPECT YOU AS A PERSON, or BECOME PHYSICALLY BEAUTIFUL IN 72 DAYS WITH THESE CAPSULES.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a human rethinks negative thoughts again and again and those thoughts join his/her long term memory and they start believeing from their core that that's what they are.&#xA;Same goes for positive thoughts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All you have to do is break the continuity of your daughter's depressions phase(doesn't matter what reason) by adding various POSITIVE daily events in her life. &#xA;Don't let this phase build and build.&#xA;Don't criticize her activities, just be a positive example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mother is a daughter's guide, help in dark times.&#xA;Father is a daughter's hero, her ideal, her superman.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14045" LastActivityDate="2015-03-15T09:14:25.473" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19048" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19054" CreationDate="2015-03-15T09:55:38.030" Score="4" ViewCount="861" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 18 yo boy living pretty much an amazing life. Yet, I've been dealing with feeling of annoyance(sometimes anger but not as rough as the word sounds) every time(almost) I hear people talking very quitely or in a desperate way or unenthusiastically or unenergetically and so on. This has lead me to become an amazing personality in terms of productivity, achievements, attraction of people into my life or whatever you can think of related to progress. Anyway, there are some drawbacks I've noticed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I was raised wasn't the kind that any child would like. Note that if you say I need to forgive my parents, do not worry I've already done this. The thing is that some memories have plunged so deep into my brain that somehwere along the line, the reactions I get from them have become just habits. &lt;a href=&quot;http://textuploader.com/mnbx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Additional info&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently this isn't one of the best ways to raise a child. Despite all the positives I get from being annoyed from negative people, unenthusiastic and so on I'd like to stop getting agnry at these things. Stop paying attention to them. I'm really, really trying hard but at times it's just the stupid habit I've developed. Sometimes I talk with friends, very close ones and if I hear similar sounds to the mentioned above I get angry and this way I hurt them(not physycally but by stopping being responsive(not talking or answering with few words) and taking my time to calm down). So, please community give me all the advices you can that might help me deal with this. &lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt; How can I start to relate all these annoying sounds of the talks with something that would make me feel if not good at least nothing? How can I stop recalling all these memories from my childhood(note when I hear smb talking it's just happening on a subconscious level, I don't visualize anything in front of me or smth, it just happens under my lowest layers of my thought)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. And parents... please think before you punish your kid! With me things aren't that serious but if I didn't find the strength to deal with this, I'd have become very destructive by now. I'd say you can always find a way to make your child do smth by treats and making him/her interested in the certain activity. Never tend to punish them! Never shout at them, trust me although they might not show it, it kind of stays deep down burried in their minds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update1:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://textuploader.com/m879&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here is why&lt;/a&gt; I don't go to therapists for now. The cons are many more, just these are some of the few that help you get the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13843" LastEditorUserId="13843" LastEditDate="2015-03-18T02:49:43.677" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T11:33:40.210" Title="Dealing with the psychological consequences of punishment in parenting" Tags="|discipline|parents|adult-child|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2015-03-18T13:45:01.257" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19005" CreationDate="2015-03-15T15:09:41.740" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stop worrying as much about his manners. Missing &quot;please&quot; or &quot;thank you&quot; hardly seems like the end of the world. As a high schooler, he has a lot on his plate right now, and your fussing over manners is only adding to the pile. Try going easy on him for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14051" LastActivityDate="2015-03-15T15:09:41.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2707" CreationDate="2015-03-15T19:51:52.360" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3769/1922&quot;&gt;I've asked this question about TV&lt;/a&gt;, but this seems a little different. According to Brain Rules For Baby: How to raise a smart and happy child from Zero to Five TV for kids under the age of 2, screen time can decrease attention span and lead to trouble focusing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can potentially see this because of the way that content on TV is edited and paced. Lots of information thrown at you really quickly. This can lead to trouble focusing...especially when a developing baby's brain is probably not able to handle that amount of information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The author John Medina also writes and cites a study... &quot;For each hour of TV watched daily by children under age 4, the risk increased 9 percent that they would engage in bullying behavior by the time they started school. This is poor emotional regulation at work.&quot; Of course I'm taking this with a grain of salt, but it's food for thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my computer. The screen is mostly static except for the moving cursor of a text editor or me meticulously manipulating an image.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My gut feel is that it probably is not harmful. I'm having a hard time finding studies. Most things I find are about kids using the computer...and these are older kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-03-15T19:51:52.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19048" CreationDate="2015-03-16T07:36:57.843" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, you are absolutely correct,Marinov.I often see parents who just hit their kids just because they didn't score well in academics, or watched t.v. for an extra 2 hours, or well, dropped icecream on the carpet.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I believe it's not the child who is doing anything wrong, its just their own distress that makes them take it out on their kids.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Slowly an gradually, the kid starts to become agitated and unreactive to their parents and then they wonder what's wrong with their son/daughter.why is he/she acting weird? we love him/her so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, as you said you get positivity from getting annoyed of negative people.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In my opinion, you somehow relate those negative people to your own past-self(when you weren't able to cope, you were in much more distress) and then it makes you feel better that you are not as much like your past-self now and you are progressing now.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you see it that way, then I think that's not much of a bad thing because you are only getting inspired by your own progress as compared to earlier.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also, if you feel positive by the unenthusiasm of other people I suggest -  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You USE that positivity to help them overcome their current insecurities and help them instead trying to build their enthusiasm.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Benefits? You will feel confident about yourself knowing that you can really be helpful to people.&#xA;I know we always doubt this thing subconsciously that &quot;How could helping others give me joy and peace? I mean to help them I would have to spend time with them and hear them yabba-yabba their problems&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's one of those universal rules that we cannot deny, cannot explain and only feel.&#xA;When you help a person with their problem and in return all you get is a sincere and pure &quot;Thanks&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;That's all you need to let your soul know that you are something more and you mean so much to this world and to humanity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Now if i read it correctly, you get angry when people repeat stuff(making same old sounds, talking about same things everyday)&#xA;In a way, you get angry with their habits.&#xA;A habit is a repetition right? So you are repeatedly annoyed by what they do repeatedly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really believe that is an issue with all of us.we get annoyed with things that we don't like and when those things repeat again and again. Well, fights and quarrel, take birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;what to do about this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See I or any person in this world cannot imagine what you might be going through.It's you who have to feel the pain, make stuff happen everyday and fight your own negativities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, don't fight it.Whenever a thought comes in your mind that is Unpleasant, don't fight that thought, the more you fight it, the more it's going to bother you.Just accept that thought even if it's completely false or bulls**t to be exact.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our thoughts make up our world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its a human that thinks in his mind that the people in the next room are going to laugh at him the minute he enters, but its just in his mind, he created that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sitting with my girlfriend on the couch and I'm wondering &quot;Is she uncomfortable being in the same room with me?&quot; and before I know it Iam actually making her uncomfortable when she was perfectly fine being with her Lovely, handsome chocolaty boyfriend, that's me, lol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, Dont fight it, please remember.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, that habit thing.Let me try and do that italic thing.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;The less frequent you spend time with them (the people with habits that make you angry) the less you will get angry by them, slowly you will loose that irritation and once you do, you can always meet them more often&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;start working on what you are really good at.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;try and be in a room by your own for sometime.Give yourself rest(Don't sleep!) from all the conversations and life and this issue and that guy and those girls and all that.&#xA;Meditate with open eyes, accept your thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;eat light food, less food.Eat to merely fill your stomach and not to satisfy your desires.(Yes, food is relevant.It affects your mind greatly)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;get out of this, I know you can.Have a strawberry icecream (Hey, Iam a guy and I like those)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14045" LastEditorUserId="14045" LastEditDate="2015-03-16T09:41:04.577" LastActivityDate="2015-03-16T09:41:04.577" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19055" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-16T14:21:24.720" Score="3" ViewCount="3187" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4.5 month little boy. He has never been a great sleeper. He has never slept longer than an 4.5 hour stretch his whole life. He is able to fall asleep on his own most of the time, especially at bedtime. We put him down awake in his crib and he usually talks to himself for a little bit and then falls asleep. We have also watched him on the video monitor and he wakes several times during the night and puts himself back to sleep. He generally sleeps from 6:30pm to 6:30am (5+ night wakings). Here are my problems:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;After his first 4 hour stretch at night, he wakes up every 2 hours to eat. When it becomes closer to 4am, he starts waking up every hour. I have tried just soothing him through these wakings, but he won't go back to sleep unless I nurse him. I think he is actually hungry, and not just comfort nursing. How do I get him to sleep longer stretches? Even 3 hour stretches would be great.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;During the day he takes multiple cat naps (3-4). Most of the time he wakes up after 25-30 minutes with an occasional 45 minute nap. He is tired after 1-1.5 hours of waketime. I have tried keeping him up longer to see if he would be tired enough to sleep longer, and he still takes a 25 minute nap, and then is overtired because I kept him up so long. What should his nap schedule be like at this age? How can I help him consolidate his naps?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks so much for helping this tired first time momma out!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14071" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-03-16T14:34:52.213" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T17:43:27.517" Title="Short naps and frequent night wakings" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-16T15:01:37.370" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, let me just say that your English is very good, especially for it being your third language.  You are clearly very well-educated and talented in your own right, and you want to give your daughter the best possible chance you can for a good and happy life in the future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please, please for goodness sake do not try to control every aspect of her life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, you are cutting in half the potential support network she would have by giving up your own career - you and your daughter will now be reliant on a single income, and while that can work out for some families, you would be providing a much more stable and secure environment for her by making use of your degrees and, hopefully, saving up for her future education. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, please do not try to control every aspect of what your daughter learns.  You are very intelligent to be sure, and home-schooling is not a bad thing innately, but please ask yourself if this is really wise.  If you are not a teacher by trade, and if you do not know what sort of education your daughter will need to go on to secondary school, then you are crippling your daughter's chances of a successful future.  Public schools are not innately horrible, and private schools can be quite good as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirdly, do not try to control your marriage for your daughter's sake.  You will be unhappy, your husband will be unhappy, and statistically that will make your child unhappy.  If you want to model your married life in that way because it is what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; want, that's good, in fact that's really great!  But do it for yourself, not for your daughter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, and I really hope you take this to heart, do not teach your daughter to be afraid of the world.  Do not teach her that TV and magazines are evil.  Do not teach her to ignore the opinions of others and only consider her own (leaders listen, they do not ignore) and do NOT try to decide your child's fate.  They are not yet even born.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do try to encourage your child to seek out appropriate literature.  Do monitor what they watch on TV and read in magazines and view online.  Do please be an active part of your child's life because that is a wonderful and noble goal.  But please, please do not try to control &lt;strong&gt;every&lt;/strong&gt; aspect of your child's life.  You are not going to live forever, and you cannot be there for every step of your child's life.  You need to teach this child not how to be, but how to grow into something on her own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The potted plant grows only as large as the pot will allow.  But the plant in the wild can soar above mountains.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-03-16T15:01:37.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19057" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-16T16:52:31.700" Score="5" ViewCount="464" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5-year-old and we're in the USA. He had been to preschool when he was 3.5 years old for 1.5 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now at 5 years 4 months, he is able to read the sentences, write words, do almost 2nd grade math. He loves doing math, additions, subtraction, etc., and he does it fast. Now reading the books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of the job, we moved to a different place and had a travel. Now after the dust settled, we wanted to put him in Kindergarten or 1st grade. But since it's almost the end of the academic year, no school is willing to enroll him. There is one school that is okay to enroll him now, but it's for pre-schooling. As we have no other option, we are planning to enroll him there, instead of keeping him home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we are very concerned that he might not learn anything new and or not enjoy his schooling, as they will be teaching ABCs and 123s, and will be sitting with kids younger than his age. He always likes to go to school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it okay or might it back-fire? Or better to wait and put him in proper class? Would his development slow down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14082" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-02T12:22:03.770" LastActivityDate="2021-09-27T11:16:04.067" Title="Would enrolling a 5-year-old in pre-school be okay or slow down his development?" Tags="|primary-schooler|development|education|school|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19058" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-16T17:10:26.747" Score="1" ViewCount="1326" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are on day 3 of our potty-training bootcamp with our 2 1/2 year old daughter, and things are not going well.  Our daughter, who can generally gives us pushback any time we ask anything of her, is fighting us on every step of the potty training effort.  We have had her in underwear only the past 3 days (with pull-ups for sleeping), taking her to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so to try sitting on the potty.  We have encouraged her to let us know whenever she has to potty, and have plied her with stickers, candy, and toys for successfully going to the bathroom on the potty.  We have been nothing but encouraging to her, even when she has had accidents, and have tried not to force her to sit down on the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three days later, and she has not gone to the bathroom on the potty a single time.  She will sit on the potty for anywhere between a minute and a half-hour, and we will never get more than a drop out of her.  Within a minute of getting off the toilet, she will pee or poop on the floor.  We rush her back to the potty and put her back on as soon as this happens, letting her know that she had an accident that should have happened on the toilet, but not reprimanding her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are at our wits end.  She knows how to use the toilet, and has done so successfully several times a week for the past few months, but she seems determined to thwart us now.  She shows no interest in any of the bribes we have tried and shows little interest in using the potty without or insistence.  How can we better motivate her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edit&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This afternoon we decided to get more strict with our daughter: shortening the time between potty trips, fewer distractions, keeping her near the potty until she used it successfully.  We went from six accidents in the morning to only a single accident in the afternoon/evening, and many successful potty uses.  I am a little worried about her getting enough attention at daycare tomorrow, but the ball is rolling now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4660" LastEditorUserId="4660" LastEditDate="2015-03-17T00:32:06.393" LastActivityDate="2015-03-22T23:15:55.553" Title="Potty Training: Child Refusing to Cooperate" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19058" CreationDate="2015-03-16T17:42:59.147" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why are you insisting on forcing potty training?  This is a classic example of a battle where your child holds all the cards.  That means she can 'win' if she wants to: and it sounds like she does.  She sounds like she has good control and understanding of her internal systems, she just doesn't feel like cooperating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were up to me, I would go back to diapers, no blaming/faulting, just tell her that you're going back to diapers until she is ready and comfortable to go to underwear.  Wait a month or two, then periodically ask her if she's ready (ie, once a week maybe).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first (and only trained so far) was sort of like this, except he wasn't quite so stubborn - he wasn't having accidents immediately after, he just argued about going in the first place, and didn't have 100% of the control at first (this was just after his 3rd birthday).  We stopped after a few weeks to a month, back to diapers full time, then a month or so later asked if he wanted to start going.  This time he agreed, we gave him a bit of help by doing the no-pants thing for a few days to help him make sure he understood his body better, and after that it wasn't too hard at all.  Relatively little fighting about going, except at night (when he's tired).  Almost no accidents.  Some poop trouble for a little while but nothing unusual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one thing we did to help the poop issue when that was making him frustrated was to have &quot;iPad potty time&quot;; he could have 10 minutes (or whatever) of iPad time each day a couple times a day to try and poop, and got 5 minutes bonus if he did poop without an accident.  He loves the iPad and so this was an effective bribe, but it also helped counter his frustration and get more positive vibes associated with the toilet.  It also gave him something to do while waiting for his body to work (we found that he was often more able to poop after sitting there for five or ten minutes, and since he only got the bonus if he had poop, he often tried right after the first ten minutes expired).  He still takes his allotted screen time as &quot;iPad poopy time&quot; most days, even though it's not &quot;bonus time&quot; anymore (as he's been nearly accident free for five or six months now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-16T17:42:59.147" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19057" CreationDate="2015-03-16T17:51:35.567" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to answer without having a lot of detailed knowledge of the classes that really even you probably don't have, but I doubt it would be a net negative to enroll him in a pre-school, as long as it's with some age-equivalent children.  You don't say enough detail about that; is it mixed 3.5-5.5 year olds?  Or is it all 3 year olds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if he is intellectually ahead of his classmates, there are lots of other things that he should be learning at that age: social, physical, emotional development all needs to occur (probably even more than book learning).  Being in a group of similar children will help this (especially if they will then go to the next grade with him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the only option is a class of 3 year olds, that might be more difficult for him; I would tend to try and avoid that situation.  If there are some 4.5+ year olds there, I think that would be reasonably okay; a year or more gap between the other children and your child would be difficult, though.  In that case I might try and work on things at home, but aggressively find him other kids to play with on a very regular (once a day or close to it) basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a side note, I would caution you against enrolling him a grade ahead next year.  Studies have repeatedly shown that children get better life outcomes when they are kept at their age grade level rather than skipped ahead, even if they are intellectually ready; emotional, physical, and social maturity is somewhat linked to actual age, and being the smallest and least mature in your class is very difficult.  (I know; I was skipped ahead past Kindergarten, in a similar situation - reading sentences and such at 4.)  There are plenty of ways to continue intellectual development without skipping ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-16T17:51:35.567" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19061" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-16T18:53:03.950" Score="-1" ViewCount="8489" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (17 years old) doesn't listen to me, but when a stranger says a few kind words to her she is like &quot;Look Dad, he/she is such a good man/woman&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have learned that she has a boyfriend. She constantly keeps in contact with this guy. But I am not sure about him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many times, we have discussed this topic and had heated discussions as well as fights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, she doesn't listen to what the family-members say; she prefers to listen to the strangers. She becomes so friendly that she chats with anyone and gets friendly very quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, she did run away from home twice with that guy and she has no regrets for her act. We tracked her down later, but she simply doesn't care any more. We have lectured her a number of times. But she is very stubborn and doesn't seem to understand the depth of the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also don't want my daughter to be angry at me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, in what words should I explain to her that this world is a very bad place to live with strangers? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14085" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-18T20:32:42.373" LastActivityDate="2017-05-30T15:20:52.650" Title="How to communicate effectively with my 17-year-old daughter? And how to make her appropriately wary of strangers?" Tags="|teen|age-appropriate|relationships|communication|listening|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19061" CreationDate="2015-03-16T20:03:04.800" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, you've waited too long.  Seventeen is a young adult age, no matter what you may think of her personal ability to handle this status, and you should have addressed this years ago, &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; the topic of boys began to cloud this issue.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, better late than never.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to understand that if you're telling your seventeen year old not to spend time with boys that she likes, when you haven't already had a conversation about how strangers can be dangerous even when they act charming, you're fighting a very tough battle.  And you aren't going to do yourself any favors if you take an antagonistic role.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to separate this talk from any specific person - talk to her personally and privately about the danger of putting unrestricted trust in a person, even one who she has known for months or years.  Do not accuse her of behaving badly, or suggest she has done anything wrong.  You are giving her advice, and hopefully you have raised her well enough to recognize this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Presumably, she will be starting secondary school soon, and you won't be there to protect her.  If your concern is what she will do when she's on her own, &lt;strong&gt;do&lt;/strong&gt; mention that.  Show your concern, and show that you are worried for her.  It leaves a much deeper and more compelling impact than trying to tell her she's making mistakes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is at an age where your control over what she does is fading away, and fading fast.  You need to make it clear to her that she has to take responsibilty for her actions, and that there are serious consequences of not being careful, and in trusting the wrong people.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also inform her of what to do if she &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; get into trouble, because there's always a chance, even if you've raised your daughter well, that bad things can happen.  Tell her that she shouldn't hesitate to call 911 if she gets into an emergency, and to know the number to her local police wherever she goes to live.  Let her know what to do in emergencies, if she is being stalked or if she is hurt or, god forbid, if she is raped.  Consider getting her an emergency kit for such an event if she's going off to live on her own soon, and have a private, personal conversation about such a possibilty with her.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is at an age where she is about to go out into the world on her own, and it can be very scary for a parent to see that happen.  You need to have a conversation with her about those dangers, but don't panic her, and don't try to tell her how to live her whole life.  She will make mistakes.  Hopefully, you can tell her how to avoid &lt;em&gt;big&lt;/em&gt; mistakes, and teach her how to overcome them if and when they happen.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-03-16T20:03:04.800" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19065" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-17T00:32:40.883" Score="12" ViewCount="3542" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me start by offering to explain my situation. It is a lot more challenging to handle than the title presents, so I should definitely elaborate, then I'll ask my question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child is in 1st grade, has always been a well-behaved student and works hard with me on his work. However, he has a speech issue that gives him trouble with articulation and it has slightly slowed his progress with learning to read, but with my help, I am keeping him at a satisfactory level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His teacher shows clear signs of not liking me, and I would not care if it were not for the fact that she for some reason takes it out on my child. She does not allow him to play with other kids, misleads him in ways which cause him to come home to me crying and in distress. Rather than bringing up questions with me, she asks him, stating it in such a way that makes him think she does not like him or that he has done something wrong (ie. usually pertaining to an absence, tardy, or permission form of some sort). She forces my child to participate in activities that require a permission form that I did not approve. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His teacher also neglects to teach him properly. She does not work independently with him on things that she'll work with other students on or answer his questions. She will skip over him instead. I can correct him and teach him a concept at home properly, he will go to school, and have unlearned the entire thing, or be confused. In addition, his handwriting on in-school assignments is messy and rushed, he often tells me the teacher tells him he has to hurry or that other students are bothering him while his handwriting at home is very very neat and legible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He (my child) has lost interest and confidence even though he loves school, and has told me he would would rather not go to school and learn at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the beginning of the year, things were fine and his work and grades were good but the teacher has been excessively cruel and degrading towards him. She is taking extreme amounts of points off on simple classwork assignments, way more than necessary, just to fail him. I have a child in AP classes in high school whose teachers do not take 13 points off per question no matter how hard the assignment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you wonder where this sudden change in behavior from his teacher might stem from, I believe it is all related to his speech issues. In this district, in order to get a speech class for your child, your child must be registered within the Special Education program. I have had him in the Special Education program before, but they did not actually take him to speech and he did not receive assistance at all, so I took him out. But I believe her harsh grading, and lack of help for my child in class, as well as the cruel behavior might be to push me into putting him into Special Education because the district receives additional funding PER CHILD in Special Education. I sincerely hope this is not the situation, but I do believe it is possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I apologize in advance for all this writing but I am at a loss for what to do. Conferences with the teacher are difficult, she will not allow me for a &quot;walk-in conference,&quot; becomes irate over the phone, and attempts to talk over me and become irate.&#xA;Going to the principal has not proved successful, and I'm not sure about approaching the district just yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My questions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there ANY alternative for schooling for my child for the remaining 2-3 months of school?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How should I deal with this situation, in general? Should I try again with the principal, go to the district or should I seek higher (I am in the United States)? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I help my child? He has no friends in school, and is very upset because of the conditions he must deal with in school. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for reading and any advice you can provide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14095" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-03-17T09:36:13.987" LastActivityDate="2022-01-13T09:17:09.487" Title="How can I handle a situation with a faulty, cruel teacher that does not like me and takes it out on my child?" Tags="|primary-schooler|education|school|teacher|special-needs|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19065" CreationDate="2015-03-17T01:46:25.503" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you might be leaning toward homeschooling.  If that's the case, bear in mind that you don't have wait for the end of the year.  For our son,  we didn't even wait out the week, let alone the semester. We had been pondering homeschooling for a while, but one Wednesday he had a particularly bad day with a substitute teacher, and that Friday was his first day homeschooling.  My son had similar issues to yours in school.  He is intelligent, but has some executive functioning and attention issues that make traditional classrooms very difficult for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're not prepared to homeschool, you might be to the point to involve the school's administrators and possibly hire an attorney who can represent your interests without getting as emotional.  However, I don't believe the teacher is acting out of malice, but out of her own sense of how to help your son.  Mainstream classroom teachers have neither the specialized training nor the time to give kids like your son the kind of individual attention he needs.  She's probably doing the best she can, and is frustrated at being second-guessed all the time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very possible a special education classroom would be a better fit for him, assuming a proper IEP.  In the United States, the IEP process is the proper forum for addressing things like receiving speech therapy, and parents are supposed to be given a lot of input into that. You should be able to contact your school and initiate some sort of IEP review at any point, although they are usually regularly scheduled at certain times of the year.  You're probably past the point you and the teacher are going to be able to resolve this on your own, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T01:46:25.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10922" CreationDate="2015-03-17T04:06:35.623" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had this problem as my little one had poor suction anyway, especially when he was teething. Chewing is soothing to sore gums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than putting the bottle in baby's mouth, I put it to his lips so he had to suck it in. I would also stroke his chin at the same time. However,  this only works if baby is hungry. As he was feeding, if he began to chew, I would remove the bottle. This is easy to see because there is no suction and no bubbles through the milk. Then I would present the bottle at his lips again to be sucked in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He didn't really get frustrated as the bottle was always there to be sucked in. It takes patience and time but his technique really improved and his volume of milk. Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14098" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-17T17:14:30.913" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T17:14:30.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19065" CreationDate="2015-03-17T06:28:05.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of, I feel bad for your son going through all this at such a young age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with &lt;strong&gt;CreationEdge&lt;/strong&gt; regarding your first question.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;&quot;look into the school district's complaint policy. It's time to go over the teacher's head&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but you should first make sure(I think you really are) that your teacher actually having mean behaviour towards your son and that you are not misunderstood.&#xA;Because, wherever is it you complaint (principal or anywhere relevant), you would have to provide details of the events that made you conclude that that teacher is not good with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me add some pros and cons for homeschooling which I'm sure you already are familiar with,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- Your son could learn according to his interest and with his own speed.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- He won't have any serious burdens when it comes to deadlines, assignments.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- Home provides a better and stress-free environment which boosts a child's learning abilities just like you said-&#xA;&lt;em&gt;&quot;his handwriting on in-school assignments is messy and rushed, he often tells me the teacher tells him he has to hurry or that other students are bothering him while his handwriting at home is very very neat and legible.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- You would have to manage your own schedule because your son being too young, you have to be with him most of the time.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- While in school, a kid learns discipline which goes a long way in life.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- In school he would get to play sports(or if you provide sports for him without school, that works too)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- In school, his social skills develop fast.(very important).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your second question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you should try meeting up with the principal again and talk to him in detail about what's been happening.&#xA;Try to explain the situation(That teacher and your son) in a polite and positive way.&#xA;The principal wouldn't want to feel like his school is going out of order and he is not running it quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to talk to other teachers there in the school.Just casually say &quot;hello&quot; and introduce your son to these other teachers.Your son if doesn't feel comfortable with his own teacher, knowing that there are other teachers who are nice to him and treat him well, will definitely boost his confidence and interest to go to the school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third Question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids love playing! and having lots of people around.Ask your son, names of some his classmates that he like, then try to meet or call the parents of those kids and have a small picnic in a park.Tell them it's your birthday or a very special day (make something up)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;invite them, give all the kids gift-wrapped toys and chocolates.If those kids love that picnic 'almost hosted by you', they are going to want to be friends with your son all the time.(yeah,it seems like we are talking about a movie, but it works)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also, if it seems to your son that the school life is not so interesting after all, create an environment at home and in the neighbourhood for him, an environment which he feels worth going school to, just so he can come back to that place where he could meet up people who are so amazing and fun to be with.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(introduce him more to the people who live around you, take him to walks, ask him to remember some street today and that tommorow he would have to take you there).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Just remember if there are events in your kid's life that are unpleasant to him, make him look upto other things that he finds worth all the stress and burdens.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now go get a walk and have some yummy(whatever dessert you love) and it'll all work out.:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14045" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T06:28:05.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19069" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-17T10:27:12.907" Score="9" ViewCount="4309" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner and I have been together for years and we have 2 sons. His mother and father owned a house with their friend and lived there with him for 20 years and in those years this man had been sexually abusing my partner and his brothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had no idea the whole time we had been together! But always had this weird feeling he wasn't a normal person as he was just way too nice to the kids and would do anything they asked and buy them stuff all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would always ask my partner if anything ever happened to him as a little boy. And he always said no and this is just how this man is and that I was horrible for even thinking this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I couldn't get it off my mind so I went onto his computer and found hundreds of pornography of little boys and so I called my partner crying and he still didn't say anything!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I went to his brother and asked him and he had told me what had been happening all those years. My partner then admitted to what this man had done and we went to the police and he is now in jail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14101" LastEditorUserId="42661" LastEditDate="2023-01-30T09:57:11.453" LastActivityDate="2023-12-06T08:22:11.010" Title="My partner let my children be around a pedophile" Tags="|relationships|abuse|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19069" CreationDate="2015-03-17T10:46:10.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably, your partner still loves his father in some ways, and wouldn't tell what he did because he did not want his father to go to jail. I guess for him, it's not about sending someone who does wrong to jail, but about sending someone you love to jail. And that must be harsh. So, he probably did not tell it, to not hurt his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess (and hope) he did let his children near his father, but was careful about not letting them alone with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is probably lots of good reads on psychology of abused children, but I don't know them. It is just much more complicated than going to the police because someone does something wrong. Many abuses from family members are not reported.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T10:46:10.063" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19069" CreationDate="2015-03-17T13:43:26.613" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This would not be OK with me. Here is what my reaction would be,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I would leave with the children immediately, (my parents, a hotel etc) to make him aware how serious this was. He can't continue this denial in an empty house.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I would demand counseling for myself and him, and then go to at least two or three meetings before I would come back. He also needs to see his own counselor to deal with his past abuse. If he wouldn't go or didn't take it seriously I might go straight to asking for divorce to reconfirm with him how serious this really was.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I would get my kids in to see a counselor who could gently confirm that nothing happened to them already. Personally I would be afraid that my concern would cause more trauma to my kids and would want someone trained in this sort of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, this is just how I would act. Because it's sending red flags up all over for me especially when you say he basically denied it to you face, made you feel guilty to cover the truth, and encouraged the kids to be around this pedophile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not feel you are over reacting or a horrible person; and as a little reality check for you. If you found photographs that were bad enough to land him in jail, he was certainly guilty against crimes against children. The law agrees with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somethings really going on with your husband AND his brother if NO ONE told you that this guy did this. Protect your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I hope I didn't come off to strong to the OP. That wasn't my intention, this is just some scary $&amp;amp;@# to me.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T13:43:26.613" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19055" CreationDate="2015-03-17T15:02:32.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid this sounds pretty normal to me and I don't really know that there's much you can do. Even people who are keen on sleep training don't tend to recommend it for babies this young. I remember 4 months being a pretty bad time for our baby too. From what I read, around 4 months a lot of babies start to wake up more as they become more aware of the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to just wait, try to accept it and try not to stress. Try to find a way which makes this time as manageable for you as possible. For example, see if your partner can help out by giving a bottle of expressed milk at some of the wakings, go to bed early, have your sleeping arrangements in a way that suits you and allows you to get as much sleep as possible (for some this may be cosleeping, others may sleep better away from their baby - you could have your partner bring the baby to you when you need to feed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my baby was this age I think I obsessed too much about his sleep, read too much about baby sleep and wasted time and sanity trying to solve this behaviour. I worried if I was getting him to nap 2 minutes late thinking it must be my fault if he didn't nap for long, I tried to force him to go to sleep when he wasn't tired and it wasn't fun for anyone. Some rare babies are good sleepers but I think most are not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My baby is older now and still not a good sleeper but we do have some nights which are better and ways to cope. If you are really desperate there are various techniques you can try to help your baby sleep from about 6 months old. Some people have told me that their baby didn't sleep well until they stopped breastfeeding, others until they got all their teeth. Then babies who sleep well at one time can start sleeping badly. Just make sure you appreciate all the sleep you can get and try not to let it spoil the time with your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T15:02:32.217" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19069" CreationDate="2015-03-17T15:28:43.757" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Abuse is extremely complex. Many abused kids love the abuser even in cases of violent abuse. I understand that you must be feeling many feelings of fear, hurt, betrayal etc and those are real feelings, but you need to be strong for you and your kids and your husband if you still want to be with him. This may not be the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will need therapy to process and get over what's happened to him, especially as there may be an issue where he doesn't understand fully that he didn't deserve it and it may not be ok etc -- read up on it and get help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to stay with him, which given the trust fracture I'm sure no-one would blame you if you didn't, then you need extremely clear and enforceable boundaries until he's been through therapy. (Note the trust fracture I'm referring to is to do with the child pornography on his computer, not so much the hiding of the historical abuse which is exactly what you'd expect.) If you don't, leave, call the police and show them your husband's computer and let them deal with it. Either way, you must make a decision very quickly for the sake of you and your children. Therapy can help; he needs it and separately the family as a whole need it. Don't try and do this on your own, it's such a massive and complex issue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope you get what you want, this must be so very tough for you; unimaginably so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-03-19T10:50:09.943" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T10:50:09.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19065" CreationDate="2015-03-17T16:16:22.350" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Aliel, this is obviously very painful for you and for your son, but I think you might be over-reacting to the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you've written above, these are some of the assumptions you seem to be making, which I think may not be justified:&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That your 5-year-old son's &lt;em&gt;perception&lt;/em&gt; that his teacher is victimising him means that the teacher actually &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; victimising him, that she really is &amp;quot;excessively cruel and degrading towards him&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That the teacher is a nasty, vindictive person who hates you and enjoys upsetting your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That the school's only reason for wanting your son to be on the Special Education program is to get the additional funding that comes with that, i.e. that the school administration's sole concern is its budget, and that they're not interested in your son's wellbeing or his educational needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, there are some bad teachers out there, but they're really in a minority. Most teachers are not &amp;quot;faulty, cruel&amp;quot; people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that happens with 5-year-olds just starting off at school is that they find the structures and strictures of school life quite difficult. This is totally normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when he tells you what's been going on at school, it's worth remembering that he's not really capable of giving you a fair summary of how his day went - as an adult might see it - because he's too young. He's telling you how things &lt;em&gt;felt to him&lt;/em&gt;, and his feelings are very important and very valid, but just because he &lt;em&gt;feels&lt;/em&gt; that his teacher is a cruel person who victimises him doesn't mean that she actually &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possible examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does she really &amp;quot;not allow him to play with other kids&amp;quot;? At any time? If one of my kids told me this then I'd suspect they'd had a brief incident where they'd been told to do something else rather than playing - e.g. to sit quietly and listen to a story, to do some tidying-up, to go to a different room or to get ready for an activity - rather than thinking that the child was literally not  allowed to play with any other children at any time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She &amp;quot;misleads him in ways which cause him to come home to me crying and in distress&amp;quot;. It's not unusual for something that an adult says to make a child upset, but that does not necessarily mean that the adult is singling out the child - treating them differently from other children - or that the adult is doing it on purpose. It sounds as though she could certainly be more sensitive to his feelings, but that's not at all the same thing as acting vindictively to intentionally upset him because she hates you or him. She may not have noticed that he is upset: sharing the teacher's attention with the other children in the class is one of the most difficult things for 5-year-olds to learn. Her attention isn't solely focussed on your child - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Taking-Things-Personally&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;try not to take it personally&lt;/a&gt;. Equally, if a child misunderstands an adult then that doesn't usually mean that the adult has intentionally misled the child out of pure vindictiveness. Sometimes children (and adults) simply misunderstand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;His academic work isn't neat because &amp;quot;the teacher tells him he has to hurry or ... other students are bothering him&amp;quot; - I'm afraid that's part of learning to be in a classroom environment. He's not always going to have all the time he needs to complete his work. Hopefully he can come back to it later, or get some more time in some other way, but it's not reasonable to expect the teacher to put the other 29 children in the class 'on pause' and delay the next activity until your son is ready. Similarly, a classroom is often a noisy, distracting environment. This is something that I had trouble with when I was a kid, and now my daughter finds it a bit difficult too. But it's not (necessarily) a sign of your son being treated any worse than any other child in the classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;She forces my child to participate in activities that require a permission form that I did not approve.&amp;quot; This one is less subjective than the others, and should be pretty easy to check on. I'd suggest asking the teacher - or the head teacher (the principal) about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, clearly you need to have a talk with your son's teacher, and/or with the school principal, in person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's clear that you're very angry about the way that you think your son has been treated, but if you approach the meeting with the attitude that the teacher is a cruel, nasty person, then I'm afraid you're not going to get very far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's easy to empathise so strongly with our children that we see the world from their point-of-view, but this is a time when you need to respond as an adult - assertively, rather than aggressively, and starting with the presumption that the teachers are caring educational professionals rather than nasty sadists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest that you do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Go into the school office and ask to book an appointment with the principal, of at least half an hour. Explain that you have a concern about your son which is so serious that you are considering withdrawing him from this school and perhaps from the school system entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For the appointment, if you have a partner then try to find someone else to do childcare so that you can take your partner into school for the appointment with you. If you don't have a partner then I'd suggest bringing your mum or a close friend with you. It can really help to feel that you've got someone you trust there next to you for moral support. It can also help you to discuss the problem with them before and after the meeting and get their perspective on what the principal says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In advance of the meeting, make a list of the things you're concerned about - excessive criticism of your son making him upset, too many points deducted on his work, him not being given enough time to finish his work, him being generally very upset and unhappy with the classroom environment, him seeing his teacher as a cruel monster, the teacher not giving him a fair share of her attention, him not being allowed to play with the other children, him not having any friends. Photocopy this list so that you can give copies of it to the principal and anyone else in the meeting. This will help you to make sure you cover everything clearly and don't miss anything out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to be clear about what you want. For example, it seems like you (rightly, in my opinion) want your son to get speech therapy through the Special Ed programme. If this is the case, then it makes no sense at all for you to withdraw him from the Special Ed programme! That isn't a way to get the thing that you want - although it sounds as though you want to punish the school by reducing their funding, it's actually counter-productive in getting the speech therapy your son needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest making another written list of what you want or of what you think good solutions might be, before the meeting. Some of the things you could choose to ask for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your son to be reinstated on the Special Ed programme and speech therapy sessions to begin within a maximum of &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your son to be transferred to a different class with a different teacher (if there is another class at the same grade level).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your son to be allowed extra time to finish his work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your son to be provided with a less noisy/distracting/bothersome environment for doing his work, at least some of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;teaching staff to ensure that they don't skip over him in class in spite of his speech difficulty, and allow him the time he needs to respond to questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a dedicated support worker to be with him in the classroom, at least some of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;for him to get support in learning social skills and making friends. If it's true that he's not allowed to play with the other children (which frankly sounds unlikely) then obviously that restriction needs to end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You won't necessarily get all the things you ask for, but it's helpful to go into the meeting with an attitude of &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;my son's educational experience really needs improving and here are some things that I think might help, what do you think?&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt; rather than &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;you teachers are nasty sadists who hate me and my son, I hate you right back and I want to tell you what terrible people and awful teachers you are&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt; - that latter attitude is how your post above reads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important you make a proper appointment to say all this - don't try to fit it in when you pick your son up and drop him off at school. That's a time when teachers are usually very busy dealing with the whole class, and they're not going to be able to give you the time you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article below seems quite relevant to me, and might be helpful, I recommend you read all of it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes kids will make generic claims, like &amp;quot;The teacher's mean to me.&amp;quot; You want to find out what that means. Etheredge calls this &amp;quot;unpacking&amp;quot; what your child is saying. Try to get as much detail as possible. Ask, &amp;quot;What exactly did she say? What was happening in the class when she said it?&amp;quot; (You might want to inquire casually, so your child doesn't clam up or exaggerate.) &amp;quot;Mean&amp;quot; might mean &amp;quot;She makes me do my work,&amp;quot; in which case you could explain that the teacher is trying to show the kind of behavior you need to have at school; after all, &lt;strong&gt;some things are very reasonable under the circumstances, but they may not seem that way to a 6-year-old.&lt;/strong&gt; The idea is not so much to uncover &amp;quot;the truth&amp;quot; of what went down but to get a more concrete sense of what your child is seeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you decide you need to speak with the teacher, set up a time (not at dropoff or pickup), and go in as someone seeking help in solving a problem. Using inclusive language is important, says Etheredge. Say something like &amp;quot;I'm coming to you with a problem I don't completely understand, but I'm hoping together we can best figure out Mark's concern.&amp;quot; Here's where you explain what your child told you and when, using his words as often as possible. &amp;quot;This de-escalates the situation,&amp;quot; says Etheredge. You're not saying &amp;quot;Mark says you do this.&amp;quot; Instead, you're saying &amp;quot;I need help understanding what's bugging Mark.&amp;quot; &lt;strong&gt;Whatever you do, assume innocence all around.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;speak to the principal or whoever is next on the school foodchain. Tell the principal the steps you've already taken, and &amp;quot;keep bringing it back to the child's perceptions,&amp;quot; says Etheredge. &amp;quot;Your attitude is still, we all want her to have the best year possible.&amp;quot; Explain how you've tried waiting and discussing it with the teacher, but what's going on is interfering with your child's education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.parents.com/kids/education/back-to-school/5-smart-ways-to-handle-teacher-troubles/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;5 Smart Ways to Handle Teacher Troubles&lt;/a&gt;, parenting.com&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="16946" LastEditDate="2022-01-13T09:17:09.487" LastActivityDate="2022-01-13T09:17:09.487" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19069" CreationDate="2015-03-17T17:58:15.643" Score="21" Body="&lt;h2&gt;The most important thing is that you have your children evaluated.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your children were around this offender, and he may very well have had opportunities to abuse them. Have them evaluated by a professional immediately to see whether or not they've been harmed or exposed to indecency in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need this to be done by a professional that is trained in talking to children about these subjects. Most people's &lt;em&gt;instincts&lt;/em&gt; when talking to children about sexual abuse are &lt;strong&gt;wrong&lt;/strong&gt;, and may make it harder to get the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Remove your children from the situation&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, the most reasonable course of action is to not have your children be around the house you spoke of, or your husband's family. There are just too many unknowns. How, if at all, were each of them complicit in this activity? You can't know, and as such you can't trust your children to be alone around any of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also decide to take the same stance with your partner. David Boshton and RachelD both have very valid stances on this matter. David has great suggestions for boundaries if you decide to stay with your partner at this time. RachelD suggests immediately taking yourself and the children to another place to live for the time being. Both are completely reasonable options, based on the information we've been given.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Why did your partner keep silent?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cmx.sagepub.com/content/10/4/337.short&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Shame is tied to childhood sexual abuse&lt;/a&gt;, and there are other &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/014521349290011F&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;mental health effects&lt;/a&gt; and coping mechanisms that come of it (self-blame, denial, confusion, and more). It's not acceptable that he put your children at risk, but in &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; mind he probably wasn't capable of thinking like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, there's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735896000189&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;very little research&lt;/a&gt; regarding male victims of childhood sexual abuse, as opposed to female victims. We can only speculate as to his state of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What this means is that your partner needs professional assistance, as others have already pointed out in comments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not clear where you found the offending photos (whose computer were they on?), so it's not clear to me which further actions should be taken regarding your partner (besides either David Boshton's or RachelD's suggestions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;He needs help, no matter what.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;You shouldn't blame yourself&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's nothing about &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; that kept your partner from speaking up. He's dealing with a very severe type of childhood trauma that our society isn't comfortable acknowledging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also did the right thing by being proactive. When you &lt;em&gt;suspected&lt;/em&gt; something was off you investigated those suspicions. It would have been far worse if you didn't trust your feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a horrible situation, but you have done well. Sadly, not everyone exhibits the same level of follow-through, to the detriment of their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-20T18:47:01.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19019" CreationDate="2015-03-17T18:56:41.173" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this question is best answered by evaluating the different types of milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Organic vs &amp;quot;Regular&amp;quot; Milk&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There isn't clear evidence that either of these is better than the other. &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.about.com/od/milk/a/08_organic_milk.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; doesn't quote a lot of studies, but it nicely summarizes info that I have read in related studies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One problem with organic milk and organic foods in general is that you can't always be sure that you are really getting a truly organic product. A lot of organic milk is now produced by large corporations who may not really give their cows much time to feed on grass in a pasture, may buy and mix non-organic cows into their herds, and bypass other organic rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there is no clear evidence that growth hormones, pesticide residues, or antibiotic residues are harmful or that organic milk is healthier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Animal Milk vs Infant Formula&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/infant-toddler-formulas/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;DrGreene.com&lt;/a&gt; tackles a question about feeding an 11 month old toddler formula vs cow milk. This paragraph sums things up well:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers don’t necessarily need formula, even if they don’t nurse. Children who are eating a balanced variety of healthy solids after the first birthday should be able to get the extra vitamins and minerals found in formula from their diets, perhaps with the added safety net of a multivitamin. If there is concern that your child is not eating an adequate amount of solids, formula will provide most of her nutritional needs while she is experimenting with solid food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Raw Milk vs Pasteurized Milk&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/a/6655&quot;&gt;Skeptics.SE answer&lt;/a&gt; has some great facts regarding unpasteurized vs pasteurized milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using the best data currently available, strictly from a food-borne illness standpoint, consuming raw milk carries roughly 9.4 times higher relative risk than consuming pasteurized milk. But in absolute terms, both risks are incredibly small, with raw milk carrying a 1/94,000 (0.001064%) chance of illness, and pasteurized milk carrying a 1/888,000 (0.000113%) chance of illness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Goat Milk vs Cow Milk&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Goat milk has been profferred as a more easily digestible alternative to cow's milk. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-eating/feeding-infants-toddlers/goat-milk&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;DrSears.com&lt;/a&gt; covers the differences between the two, and this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.prevention.com/content/which-healthier-goat-milk-vs-cow-milk&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;infographic&lt;/a&gt; also compares their healthiness. In general, the two are considered pretty comparable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Animal Milk vs Breast Milk&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Animal milk, of any kind, is designed to be consumed by animals of the same species! Humans were not made to drink cow or goat milk, but to drink human milk! However, since the question is specifically about non-breastfeeding options, I'm not going to cover it further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Milk and Vitamins vs Vitamin Enriched Formula&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the touted benefits of formula is all the supplements and minerals it contains. However, there are many vitamins on the market for children of all ages, including young infants and toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/omega-3/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;actual doctor&lt;/a&gt; answers a question specifically regarding DHA:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it better to get omega-3 fatty acids from food or from supplements?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly foods, since the plants and fish that contain omega-3 fats have other good nutrients, such as protein, vitamins and minerals. People who do not eat fish or other foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids should consider taking an omega-3 supplement of 500 mg per day; fish oil is used in supplements, but there are also vegetarian supplements that have ALA. Studies suggest that people who have already had a heart attack may benefit from higher doses of omega-3 supplements (basically, double the 500 mg), so if you do have heart disease, consult your healthcare provider about whether taking a higher dose of omega 3s makes sense for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we're specifically talking about children, and this doctor is not, the science is the same. It's better to get these nutrients from &lt;em&gt;food&lt;/em&gt;, not supplements. When it comes to taking a vitamin versus feeding a child formula for obtaining these nutrients, they're really the same! The formula, essentially, just has the supplements included, but they're not any different than those found in children's vitamins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The Conclusion&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to your child's nutrition, organic milk isn't better than regular milk. Cow milk isn't better than goat milk or formula provided your child is eating a healthy variety of solid foods. After one year of age, a child's primary nutrition source shouldn't be &lt;em&gt;liquid&lt;/em&gt;. Milk or formula, of whatever type, should be used only as way to provide specific nutrients that young bodies need in higher quantities, such as calcium and phosphorous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When evaluating which to buy, your primary focus should really be on the &lt;em&gt;rest&lt;/em&gt; of your child's diet. There's no conclusive evidence that says milk is better than formula, or vice-versa. Instead, most advice (mine included), suggests that you &lt;strong&gt;choose whichever works best for you&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-17T18:56:41.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19065" CreationDate="2015-03-18T12:38:21.167" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that struck me when reading your question is whether or not the bad teacher knows that your son has a speech impediment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My younger brother has some minor physical and perception-related handicaps that are not immediately visible, and people often react with anger because he's clumsy and seems to never notice other people around him, crashing into them and knocking over things etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I couldn't help wondering if the teacher's reaction is caused by not knowing that your son isn't just disinterested, disruptive, deliberately slow etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son has been labelled as such in the teacher's understanding, it can be hard for him/her to even treat him equally to the other students. Teachers are humans too and can be misled by their perception of the student in question. There is substantial research that supports this, e.g. by letting teachers grade anonymous papers and grade similar papers when they knew the students' names. Sad, but true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd try to figure out if that's the issue first of all. If you must book a formal meeting with the teacher, do it. You may try to get the principal involved in the formal meeting, too. Even a few months of improved schooling can mean a lot to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this suggestion is useful to you. I can imagine what a painful situation it is for a parent to see his/her child mistreated in school!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14133" LastEditorUserId="14133" LastEditDate="2015-03-18T12:44:23.903" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T12:44:23.903" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19055" CreationDate="2015-03-18T17:43:27.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's tough for babies to adjust to sleep schedules outside the womb. Before birth, babies use their mother's body's signals as cues for when to sleep. After birth, it takes a few months for them to fully develop what they need to maintain their own schedules. Even then, for a bit they will mostly focus their sleep around feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, including your baby in your daily routines probably has the biggest impact on helping your baby adapt to a &quot;normal&quot; sleep schedule. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/newborn-sleep.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Citation.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I would like to mention, do not put anything in your babies crib (not even a blanket) until he is at least 1 year old. &lt;strong&gt;Always&lt;/strong&gt; put him to sleep on his back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And no matter how tired you are after he wakes up in the middle of the night to feed, &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; doze off yourself without putting him back in his crib. Babies can't move when they are deprived of oxygen, and a 10 minute doze with your baby can be fatal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hang in there. Thankfully, these sleep problems are often temporary. You will do fine, and your baby will probably adjust before you know it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14144" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T17:43:27.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14823" CreationDate="2015-03-18T18:06:00.247" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://hipdysplasia.org/developmental-dysplasia-of-the-hip/prevention/baby-carriers-seats-and-other-equipment/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the International Hip Dysplasia Institute&lt;/a&gt;, it can take &quot;several months&quot;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-newborns-development_1477143.bc#articlesection1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Babycenter.com&lt;/a&gt; says it can take &quot;6 months&quot; for the legs to straighten out. While I hardly consider those sites as clear experts on this issue (the articles weren't written to specifically address your question), they do seem to indicate that it is normal for a 10 week old baby to not keep his legs straight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, one cannot rule out the possibility of a medical condition. According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00347&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons&lt;/a&gt;, if your baby has developmental dislocation of the hip, it is best for him to be treated early. I'd recommend asking your pediatrician if you are worried. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14144" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-03-18T20:38:26.700" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T20:38:26.700" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19082" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-18T18:18:06.950" Score="6" ViewCount="276" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm so confused with all of the conversation and battling between the industry and the non-industry advocates.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there one good location to get information on how to teach my children to socially, emotionally and physically manage the effects of marijuana?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your feedback and requests for clarity. More specifically I am questioning:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I handle the situation that my son's friends' parents use edibles, should I worry about my son's safety?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My children's ages are 8, 10, and 12. What should I tell them about the use of marijuana? I drink wine most every night, but I would never want someone to judge me as a result of that use. I also wouldn't drive after drinking under any circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to find a community of parents who can start a &quot;chat room&quot; or ongoing dialogue related to real life scenarios that play out in different parts of our lives -- in the schools, in hospitals, in legal cases, in the community in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14147" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-13T16:22:34.487" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T16:22:34.487" Title="Where can I find solid, responsible advice for parenting in a marijuana legal community?" Tags="|parents|drugs|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9120" CreationDate="2015-03-18T19:03:36.597" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please allow me to offer a few points of information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child may be phonetically inclined, and it seems he may be having trouble separating words from their sounds.  He may be also having trouble separating words from other words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is his awareness to the situation and is has he been socially affected by it?  Does he feel he has a problem or shows frustration?  Has it been made light of?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continue experimenting with conveying verbal instructions in a different manner, with not-too-exaggerated intonations, but clear and crisp, paying particular attention to elocution and stressing the correct syllables.  Does he recognize questions in speech, or is he often caught out by the stops that occur when someone is waiting for a response?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In his writing, encourage the correct (and incorrect!) use of punctuation with a special pen, or color.  Express and make material the pauses and stops as if they are an integrated part of speech (which they are...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In his education, show him tally-score with the counting of syllables and the identification of vowels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage him to read words backwards as well as forwards, and over time, learn to say certain things in 'sdrawckab'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work out a game where he can answer whether a word is real or not.  Can he ultimately identify nonsensical words and usages in (vocalized) sentences? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, what kind of music does he like?  Lyrical promotion and possible rap (a solution to stuttering, by the way!) will lead to clarification.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can he recite mantras?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Also, at six years old an introduction to sign-language as a normal thing would guarantee him to stand in good stead in the future, just as simultaneously learning a second language would.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, communal interaction with a collection of children on a day-to-day basis is possibly the most stimulating way for his development to move forward).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14145" LastActivityDate="2015-03-18T19:03:36.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19086" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-18T21:34:56.590" Score="5" ViewCount="312" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every time our children spend time with a group of other kids, there's at least one with the sniffles or worse. It's tempting to shield them from such sources of infection, but (leaving aside the non-medical downsides of isolation) presumably they'd grow up with weak immune systems if they didn't have this early exposure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does frequent exposure to sick kids, such as in daycare or public school, have a negative impact on a child's later immune health? Positive? What about very minimal exposure? Is there a happy medium to which we should strive?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm specifically interested in exposure to other children, not so much to environmental sources (i.e., eating dirt).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an article saying that yes, some exposure to infection is probably helpful: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.parentmap.com/article/is-getting-sick-good-for-preschoolers&quot;&gt;https://www.parentmap.com/article/is-getting-sick-good-for-preschoolers&lt;/a&gt; It references a study, but does not link it, and my Google-fu fails me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another article, suggesting that there is such an effect but perhaps only for babies and toddlers: www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/12/06/daycare.kids/ Also, this simply claims that children will be more resistant in elementary school if they're exposed in daycare; I'm more interested in the kids' eventual health as adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user3034" LastActivityDate="2015-03-20T18:01:17.127" Title="Does too much or too little exposure to infection affect long-term immune health?" Tags="|school|daycare|sickness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2015-03-18T22:48:15.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say it depends on how much you know and or trust the teen or person in charge. I have been watching my little cousins from the ages of a few months old; first, it started out with my aunts or uncles around then I was able to watch them for short periods on my on and now I watch them for hours on in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started when I was about 11 or so and been doing it for the past few years me and my family has found it a good way that I text them if I have any problems and or questions.  If there is an emergency they have a list of numbers I can call of family and or close friends to the family.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do the same with the other kids I babysit for; for some it may depend on the age, while for others it depends on the responsibility.  You should get together with the teen that's going to be babysitting for you and see how your kids react with them and how they react with your kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14156" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-03-19T18:17:28.013" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T18:17:28.013" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19090" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19101" CreationDate="2015-03-19T04:38:40.517" Score="16" ViewCount="11978" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 17. I have been learning to drive for about a year and a half now. I must have a permit if I want to drive, unless it has been a year or unless I'm 18. After that time I can get a license, but we are waiting on that because it is cheaper after I'm 18. This means I can only drive if I have someone 21 or older in the passenger seat, and no one unrelated in the back seats. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm adequate, except for parking and backing up. When I drive with my dad he gives me pointers and advice, which I appreciate. When I am driving with my mom &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; dad, my dad sits in the front seat and gives me pointers as usual. My mom is nearly silent in the backseat. When I drive with my mom she yells at me when I do not follow her instruction or know things already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every chance there is for my mom and I to go somewhere together (open a bank account for me, go to school) she insists I drive, which is fine. The problem is she will yell when I go too slow, or turn too sharply, or accidentally drive through an &lt;em&gt;empty&lt;/em&gt; turn lane (if it wasn't empty I would have crashed the car). If we are in a parking lot she will give me directions on how to turn around, and if I decide to turn around a different way she yells.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom will give me a direction, like &quot;turn right here&quot; and I will decide I can't slow down fast enough, so I turn right at the next intersection, and she gets very angry. We live at the end of a dead-end road, and people constantly park their cars right behind our drive way, making it difficult to get out. When I try to get out, slowly, my mom will yell at me every time I start moving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried telling her multiple times that yelling doesn't help, and that telling me over and over how to do something will not make me better at it. &#xA;I have told her many times I will not tolerate her yelling. Whenever we are driving in a parking lot or a neighborhood and she starts yelling at me I stop the car and get out. This is never effective because she is stubborn and I get impatient. At home I refuse to drive but to no avail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do I explain that I can't focus on learning when she's yelling?&#xA;How do I explain knowing how to drive and actually having the experience driving are different?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14161" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2019-03-30T15:58:52.327" LastActivityDate="2019-03-30T15:58:52.327" Title="As a teenager, how do I communicate with my mom about her yelling?" Tags="|teen|communication|mother|driving|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19091" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-19T04:42:54.010" Score="11" ViewCount="4490" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hate to raise my voice, but there are certain situations where no matter how or what I say, my kids won't listen. I'm not talking about hearing what I say and deciding not to do it, they simply either willingly or non willingly ignore my voice as if I was talking to a wall. (boy almost 6, girl almost 4)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was diagnosed with ADD, and I can relate when people tell me - you don't hear me? I was talking to you and you didn't hear a word I was saying (I was doing something in hyper focus, and literally didn't hear a word)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that what happens here with my kids too?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a few situation where I can say something a million times in pleasant tones and will get complete ignoring from their side &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They are in the bath playing, I'm asking them to get out / wash their head etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is the worst - the TV is on. Can't get ANYTHING out of them, it's like there are in a different universe. I can tell them that Santa is here and brought them all their wishlist and they will not even turn their eyes. They literally don't hear anything when the TV is on. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My son is drawing something / playing the Legos &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I know they say &quot;don't yell, don't shout, they won't listen, it just making it worse, don't be emotional and take out your frustration with life on the kids&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I'm not doing it emotionally, it's done practically and without anger, without any frustration, just because the kids simply don't respond otherwise in these situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this ADD in play? I was like this as kid (And still sometimes, people can call me and I simply don't hear it if I'm hyper focused)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or is this just normal kids behavior? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctor said that the kids are just fine, and they are doing very well in pre-K and kindergarten, (one teacher said something about my son regarding focus, but new school - new teacher - no problem, just at home)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here is my question. If the only way I can get my kids to listen is either raise my voice, or do the &quot;one, two, three&quot; count (works every time) is that still wrong? I feel really bad with myself but otherwise my life will be just talking to myself, very nicely and respectfully and kids who don't take bath's / stay in it till midnight, eat only candy and never go to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do? I love my kids, I tell them that all the time, I hug them, I read them stories, I spend time with them and they show me a lot of love back. But there are times where the only way to get things around here is to just raise my voice. Not even yell, it's just increasing the volume so they will turn their heads to listen, not even the case of whether they want to do it or not, it's the mere event of them getting my words into their awareness, after that getting them to &quot;listen&quot; is even less hard to get them to just &quot;hear me&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I get them to listen without raising my voice? Should I start wearing funny customs just to get their attention? should I use a funny voice? Should I use a clowns horn / stuffed animal? I'm open to ideas, but nothing worked until now... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(p.s. when shouting at them, they don't get scared or insulted or anything, they don't cry or stop running around the house at 9pm, or jumping on the bed, they just go like &quot;oh, dad, you were talking? sorry, what did you say? we were busy doing something much more important like jumping like monkeys on the bed while your were whispering something about going to sleep&quot; )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a solution?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14162" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-03-21T19:15:28.757" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T00:44:46.070" Title="Kids (ages 4 and 6) only listen when raising my voice, tried everything, what am I doing wrong?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|primary-schooler|communication|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19092" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-19T05:18:32.950" Score="4" ViewCount="1602" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question is about behavior of a child who goes in his room and stands for long periods of time just moving his head from side to side. He holds one hand to his cheek while moving. What is this behavior called?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14163" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-12-19T04:08:30.823" LastActivityDate="2018-09-17T17:19:21.847" Title="My child stands in one spot in his room and moves his head side to side for long periods, is there a name for this behavior?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19090" CreationDate="2015-03-19T08:27:47.420" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your mother wants to know that whatever she teaches you, you are learning it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I know how frustrating it must be for you when she yells at you while you are driving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What you have to do is apart from when you and your mum is in the car, try to take notes from her about driving skills.(even if you know enough to drive properly), just show interest in her that you respect her knowledge and tell her that you will implement them all with your own speed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try this :&lt;/strong&gt; (This might not work and she might smell what you are trying to do)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While she is cooking food (especially something main-course), stand beside her in the kitchen and shout suddenly with a jump -&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Mum, you are gonna burn that&quot; then just apologize and say &quot;Sorry, I thought you were gonna drop the whole thing but ofcourse you won't, you are an expert&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Or have your dad help you out in this and have him do what you did in the scene above.Makes much big difference)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try one of the following(or try both) when you are in the car with her:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;CASE 1 :&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;When you are driving:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right after you start the car, SPEAK A LOT!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;That's what she does right? She keeps talking and breaks your concentration, so you have to do the same and much more than her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Goes like this: (please, make it natural)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Mom, this car sounds great, dont you think, my god the engine roars!!!Lioness!!!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Ok, tell me what turn to take now, Tell me, faaaastttt!!! Ok speak mom&quot;&#xA;(she will realize that how much it must fluster you when she yells like that&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Can we go for lunch somewhere nice? Ok, you want me to take left or right?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;CASE 2 :&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;When she is driving:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do exactly what she does to you but you dont have to yell.Just ask her lots of questions and questions which demand more-than-one-word replies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She'll possibly say &quot;Shush, dont speak too much and concentrate!&quot;&#xA;She might just realize what she just said and will consider staying quite more.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;or you could reply-&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Ok, but when you prompt me so much, it's worse mommy&quot;&#xA;(innocent voice!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Whatever new you try, don't make it all seem so sudden, she will know that you are trying an intervention or something.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You have two options:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Either forget doing all the things i just mentioned above and just talk to her about all the stuff, it might help, it might not.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Eventually, she will start prompting in the car just like before.&#xA;The prompting thing is a habit, even my uncle has it when his son drives.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Or you can simply, just make her realize by doing the same thing she does(speaking a lot).(but, naturally and slowly and without yelling).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Overall, she is your mom and she is just worried about you that there are times when you drive on your own and she want you to be ok.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You could do this:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;While you are driving and she is prompting and yelling, reply with-&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;And then?&quot;,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;And then what?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Should I rather try doing (so and so)&quot; &quot;Ok, now what?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might say - &quot;If you are going to ask so many questions, you won't be able to do it on your own.You might as well quit driving&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Your respectful reply - &quot;Exactly, I'm trying to learn 'from you' but it ain't going to happen when you screaming at me all the time.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Or she might just get tired of you asking a lot and evetually letting you do it on your own and just observe untill you actually do something wrong.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And by the way&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Turn right!!! RIGHT I SAID! Are you even listening to me?... Great! we missed the turn!!!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she yells, just laugh and stuff.Let her know that you are genuinely not nervous and that how comfortable and relaxed you are when you are driving.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I Prefer this last technique much more than anything else :)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14045" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T08:27:47.420" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19090" CreationDate="2015-03-19T09:44:40.340" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When she starts yelling at you, stop/pull over at the earliest point possible and tell her to get out of the car. Most people are taken aback by this because it's something they almost never hear. She will probably then ask why, which is your cue to explain to her that her yelling is distracting you and you do not feel safe with her in the car and are worried about having an accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By doing this, you are showing to her that as you are the driver, you are the one in control and the one with the authority - if she won't listen to your rules you are free to refuse to accept her as a passenger. Equally, if she doesn't like your driving, she is free to choose not to be a passenger (a fact you may wish to remind her of).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, you could try asking your dad to have a word with her perhaps? If you have all three of you in the car at the same time and your dad is agreeing with you about her being distracting then she's more likely to back down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11202" LastEditorUserId="11202" LastEditDate="2015-03-19T09:49:46.820" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T09:49:46.820" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19091" CreationDate="2015-03-19T10:59:17.953" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I know with my kids and I've taken professional advice on this is that you have to get down to their level. Standing up and raising your voice is quite intimidating and distancing, however if  you get on their level and get in their world (in a nice way!) you will find they are much more amenable to not only listening to you at that point but at others as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the TV thing, the TV needs to be paused or turned off if you need to say things. Young children generally don't have the capacity to not be distracted by TV when it is on, especially since the medium of TV particularly requires the watcher to &quot;switch off&quot; their awareness themselves. So it's not a punishment to switch the TV off for a minute while you talk, even though they may complain a bit, it actually makes it easier for you to be heard and for them to respond. Just warn them verbally first, or try talking and if they don't hear you say &quot;I'm just going to pop the TV off only for a moment so you can hear what I need to say to you guys, ok?&quot; and then do it. No punishment or raising voice required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T10:59:17.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19061" CreationDate="2015-03-19T11:12:05.553" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instead of pushing her away by showing animosity towards her boyfriend, have you considered inviting him in, getting to know him and making him feel welcome? If she didn't tell you about him sooner, it's probably because she thought you'd be judgemental about her decision (which is normal, children generally do care a lot about their parent's opinions, no matter how much it may seem otherwise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you show that you're accepting of her boyfriend, she'll bring him to the house more, which means she'll be happy and you can keep an eye on him. Not a close eye, but close enough that you can make sure he's not doing anything untoward. If he has opinions you disagree with, discuss them with him over dinner with your daughter present so she can make up her own mind and has opportunity to decide who she agrees with. (Discuss, do not argue - ask why he holds those opinions and say why you disagree, and do not tell him his opinion is wrong).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the strangers, there's very little you can do about that now. If at 17 your daughter does not have apprehensions about strangers, she won't develop them until she has a bad experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11202" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T11:12:05.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19069" CreationDate="2015-03-19T12:02:13.013" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should all seek counselling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The children should be checked out to make sure nothing has happened to them. The sooner anything is discovered the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should seek counselling to help you come to terms with what has happened and to help you understand what your partner and his brother have gone through and why they chose to keep it from you until there was no choice but to admit it. A counsellor can also help reassure you that paedophilia is not a common occurrence and that you are very unlikely to run into another paedophile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your partner needs the counselling he should have received a long time ago. You say you're worried about what could have happened to your children, but remember your partner has actually been through that, there was nobody there to protect him. He may not even have been aware that it was abnormal, if he and his brother grew up in that situation, that may have been normal for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11202" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T12:02:13.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19086" CreationDate="2015-03-19T15:53:19.780" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the 2010 paper discussed &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/12/06/daycare.kids/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;in the CNN article&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://archpedi.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleID=384057&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Côté SM, Petitclerc A, Raynault M, et al. &lt;strong&gt;Short- and Long-term Risk of Infections as a Function of Group Child Care Attendance: An 8-Year Population-Based Study.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med.&lt;/em&gt; 2010;164(12):1132-1137. doi:10.1001/archpediatrics.2010.216.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children contract infections around the time they initiate large&#xA;  structured group activities. Participation in large GCC before 2½&#xA;  years old, although associated with increased infections at that time,&#xA;  seems to protect against infections during the elementary school&#xA;  years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found another article: &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/resolve/doi?DOI=10.1111/j.1651-2227.2007.00412.x&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Day care in relation to respiratory-tract and gastrointestinal infections in a German birth cohort study&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Acta Paediatrica&lt;/em&gt;, 2007&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Results: ... Children attending a day care centre were more likely to&#xA;  have common cold, bronchitis, pneumonia, otitis media and diarrhea&#xA;  within the first 2–3 years of life. With the exception of common cold,&#xA;  from year 4 onwards these associations were not statistically&#xA;  significant anymore and even reversed for some of the infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It looks like this is the 2002 paper mentioned in &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.parentmap.com/article/is-getting-sick-good-for-preschoolers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the ParentMap article you found&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://archpedi.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=191522&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ball TM, Holberg CJ, Aldous MB, Martinez FD, Wright AL. &lt;strong&gt;Influence of Attendance at Day Care on the Common Cold From Birth Through 13 Years of Age.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med.&lt;/em&gt; 2002;156(2):121-126. doi:10.1001/archpedi.156.2.121.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Attendance at large day care was associated with more common colds&#xA;  during the preschool years. However, it was found to protect against&#xA;  the common cold during the early school years, presumably through&#xA;  acquired immunity. This protection waned by 13 years of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that last sentence (&lt;em&gt;protection waned by 13 years of age&lt;/em&gt;) which was not mentioned in the ParentMap article.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In each case, the study did not track children once they reached adulthood. (Presumably this is because the authors are pediatricians, and/or publishing in pediatric medical journals.) I glanced a number of articles that cited the above studies (thanks, Google Scholar!) but wasn't really able to find anything that discussed &lt;em&gt;long-term&lt;/em&gt; impacts on &lt;em&gt;adult&lt;/em&gt; immune systems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T15:53:19.780" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19092" CreationDate="2015-03-19T16:52:54.113" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;This behavior is commonly called repetitive behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/common-behavioural-problems-in-children&quot;&gt;Common Behavioural Problems in Children&lt;/a&gt; sums it up quite nicely:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;All children will at some developmental stage display repetitive behaviours but whether they may be considered as disorders depends on their frequency and persistence and the effect they have on physical, emotional and social functioning. These habit behaviours may arise originally from intentional movements which become repeated and then become incorporated into the child's customary behaviour. Some habits arise in imitation of adult behaviour. Other habits such as hair pulling or head banging develop as a means of providing a form of sensory input and comfort when the child is alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Repetitive behavior is not the same as &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tic&quot;&gt;tics&lt;/a&gt;, as we read on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Tic-disorders.html&quot;&gt;MindDisorders&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Tic disorders can be differentiated from movement disorders by the following characteristics: they are suppressible; they tend to persist during sleep; they are preceded by sensory symptoms; they have both phonic and motor components; and they wax and wane.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tics are contrasted against movement disorders in that excerpt, but the qualifications for being a tic also serve to contrast against simple being a repetitive behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another similar type of behavior is a compulsion. &lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/distinguishing-ocd-from-other-conditions/00075&quot;&gt;PsychCentral&lt;/a&gt; distinguished obsessive behavior from tics, which we can also use to separate repetitive behavior from obsessions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Distinguishing between certain complex motor tics and certain compulsions (e.g., repetitive touching) can be a problem. By convention, tics are distinguished from “tic-like” compulsions (e.g., compulsive touching or blinking) based on whether the patient attaches a purpose or meaning to the behavior. For example, if a patient feels an urge to repeatedly touch an object, this would be classified as a compulsion only if it was preceded by a need to neutralize an unwanted thought or image; otherwise it would be labeled a complex motor tic. Tics are often identified by “the company that they keep”: if a complex motor act is accompanied by clear-cut tics (e.g., head jerks), it is most likely a tic itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are the primary terms used when referring to behavior similar to that you've mentioned. However, &lt;strong&gt;properly applying the correct clinical term to your child will require the expert opinion of a medical professional&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because you are worried about this behavior, I would advise you to to seek out a doctor's opinion in the immediate future. They can put your mind at rest if this is just quirky behavior, or they may feel this is an issue that needs to be addressed and set you on the path to getting your child the help he may need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T16:52:54.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19090" CreationDate="2015-03-19T17:18:34.597" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your mom and you need to work on your communication skills, together.  This isn't uncommon in the teenage years; you're basically an adult now after all, and it's hard for both of you to work out exactly what that means for your relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the common issues you have in a relationship like this is &lt;em&gt;escalation&lt;/em&gt;.  When you were five or six, escalation didn't do much, because you're half your parents size; but now, you're probably nearly as big or bigger than your parents, particularly your mom, and it's much easier to get into escalating fights where both of you escalate issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your mom is probably stressed out about driving with you, because you're probably not a very good driver (and I don't say that to be mean: you're 17 and have been driving for a year and a half, it's nearly impossible for you to be an actually good driver with that little experience.)  You make little mistakes, and it worries her, even if they don't have significant consequences, or even are the right thing to do given the circumstances.  This is like me driving with my wife: it took me ten years to be able to do so without either criticizing her driving or sitting in the passenger seat with a frightened look on my face most of the time.  She's a fairly good driver, but she didn't make the choices I would make in many instances, and that lack of control stressed me out for a long time.  Being out of control, but responsible, is frightening and extremely stressful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're also very stressed, and for good reason; you're being micromanaged, and clearly not trusted.  You're doing something that is stressful - driving - and being interrupted and second guessed the whole time.  What your mom is doing could cause you to have an accident or make an accident more serious.  You also respect your mom's opinions (to some extent at least), and having her tell you you're doing it wrong constantly is frustrating.  And on top of all of this, you don't seem to have the ability to extract yourself from the situation if you wanted to, because she requires that you drive - taking away the only element of control that you do have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key to dealing with escalation is stopping for a time-out, so both of you can cool off.  Get out of the stressful situation. Then, try to de-escalate and defuse the situation.  Don't accuse or yell; just tell your mom that you need to pull over so you can calm down and get to a place where you can be safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then tell her how you feel, right then.  Don't use things like &amp;quot;You ALWAYS&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;You make me so mad&amp;quot;; be very specific, about exactly what behaviors of hers were frustrating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom, when you yelled at me that I could have gotten us killed, it hurt my feelings.  I know I'm not a perfect driver, and sometimes I don't do exactly the right thing, but I'm doing my best, and I need constructive feedback to get better.  Yelling at me makes an already stressful situation worse, and could cause us to get into an accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to get better as a driver, and appreciate that you're trying to help me get better.  If you don't feel like I'm good enough of a driver to be in situations like this without micromanaging, can we consider only having me drive in less dangerous situations until you feel more comfortable with my driving?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This particular situation was complicated, since it involved a highway and merging across three lanes of traffic.  Maybe next time we should try driving a different route that would help avoid this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this particular situation, it was stressful because I didn't have enough time to plan my turn when you told me I needed to turn.  Can we perhaps discuss the route in detail next time - possibly with a smartphone or map that can help me understand the turns I need to make?  That way I'm not surprised by a sudden route change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also should try and work on your communication &lt;em&gt;at the time&lt;/em&gt; with her.  This is something my wife and I worked on effectively.  She is not very good at navigating new routes, and so I'm often the navigator.  Sometimes I'm not a very good navigator, so I'll tell her to turn at a point where it's not safe in her mind (just like your mom, it sounds).  For a while this would stress both of us out, but now, if I tell her too late to turn somewhere, she tells me &amp;quot;Okay, I can't make that turn, but I'll turn at the next street and backtrack.  Will that work?&amp;quot;.  Then I'll verify (if needed) that it is possible (no one way or dead end streets blocking us), and reroute if needed further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not always going to be possible for you to improve your communication - either because you're communicating as effectively as possible in the situation, or it's too stressful to think about it at the time.  That's fine; just keep it in mind, and do what you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you definitely need to have a talk about this away from the car, when you're not in a stressful situation.  I would have all three of you in the room (dad, mom, you), and come up with a list of behaviors that cause you difficulty, and a list of constructive suggestions to solve them.  Just like above, keep it non-accusatory and non-combatitive; you want your mom to be on board here, not to get defensive.  Starting with &amp;quot;Mom, I hate driving with you&amp;quot;, or &amp;quot;Mom, you're a terrible passenger&amp;quot;, probably won't be helpful; instead, start with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom, I think we need to work out how to improve our relationship when it comes to my driving.  It's often very stressful to me, and I'm sure it is also stressful to you, when I drive with you.  I'd like to give you some examples of what you do that frustrates me, and also talk about what I do that frustrates you, and then come up with some solutions that will work for both of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may or may not want to talk to your dad ahead of time; the problem with automatically doing so is that it may feel to your mom that you're ganging up on her if you do.  This will depend on your relationship.  Tell her in this meeting, among other things, that you may need to stop driving sometimes and pull over and talk about things if the stress becomes dangerous or unmanageable for you - that way she's not surprised when you do it; and point out that it's not one sided.  You're not stopping because you're mad at her, you're stopping because the stress on both of you is dangerous for both of you, and regardless of fault you need to stop, calm down, and help address it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to be open about what she tells you, as well; and if she needs some time to think about it, give it to her - I'm sure you'd spend some time preparing for talking to her, make sure she can have some time also if she needs it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, realize that it will probably never be perfect.  Driving as a passenger in a car when you're also a capable driver is very stressful for some people (like me), no matter what.  What you'll want to do is find solutions that help you and your mom deal with the problems when they occur, not try to prevent every possible problem every time.  Create a framework that you agree on of how you handle situations.  At what point are you going to pull over.  At what point should you switch drivers.  What code phrase can you use to let your mom know that she's stressing you out, so that she remembers this conversation and doesn't think you're just rebelling.  Giving yourselves the tools to handle the stress is critical - now and later in life - for handling conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T17:18:34.597" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19090" CreationDate="2015-03-19T17:35:07.150" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;For some reason driving seems to bring out the worst in a lot of people. It can be frustrating from the driver's seat and frustrating as a passenger hence road rage and &quot;back seat drivers&quot;. I don't suppose that your mom is yelling on purpose so I don't think that trying to explain to her or asking her nicely to change her behaviour will work. Some people are particularly not suited to supervising learners and it sounds like this is the case for your mom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best thing to do in this situation is to refuse to drive with her for now. Once you have your full licence you can do what you like. It may seem a long time off but it will pass before you know it. Maybe once you have your licence your mom will subconsciously feel less inclined to criticise your driving. Or even before then she may regret not being able to help you with your driving in which case you could give her another chance but if she yells then refuse the next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember you are the one in control of this situation although it may not feel like it. You can't stop her yelling but she cannot make you drive. I understand that it may be tricky if she's insisting you drive at a time when you really want to go somewhere so I'd suggest telling her ahead of time that you don't want to drive that day. If she asks why then tell her calmly that you find it difficult driving with her because she yells and it distracts you and affects your confidence. If she insists then tell her that you'd really prefer if she drives because her yelling makes you feel unsafe and stresses you out. This is all very reasonable and I would hope she wouldn't argue with it although she may feel a little upset. I'm assuming that your mom is not angry and confrontational all the time and it's mainly the driving which is the problem here, otherwise you have bigger issues which I think are beyond the scope of this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-03-19T18:37:59.897" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T18:37:59.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-19T19:03:10.190" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do not over-think, I ask.  You can guide her towards your ideals, but too strongly and she will rebel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show her moderation and mindfulness.  Lead by example and expose her to the world and equip her with as much information as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not tell her the world is sexist.  Let her decide for herself.  The world is what you make of it, and it may be sexist to you in your experience but it does not have to be sexist to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach her Desiderata.  I'm sure it is very much how you would want her to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14145" LastActivityDate="2015-03-19T19:03:10.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19104" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-20T07:53:05.507" Score="2" ViewCount="526" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 2 years and 5 months old and for some time already she knows all the letters (i.e. both reciting and recognising letter by letter in written words), numbers to 10, common shapes, and colours. However she's not talking in full sentences yet. Considering when children usually getting interested in written letters, this seems to be pretty good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has an ability in this and likes it, what else can I teach her? Of course I was thinking about reading, but teaching reading in English is quite different to our native language, so I'm not sure about phonics reading vs sight word reading and all that stuff. I'd like to read some scientific materials on how children learn to read (you know not usual recommendations like blah blah don't worry, all children are different). Or maybe not reading at all? &lt;strong&gt;What are activities we can try to help encourage her memory and pattern recognition skills?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not a question about such skills vs social skills, physical skills and so on. So please don't recommend that it is better to learn to play with other kids - that's just a separate question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14191" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-24T22:07:08.213" LastActivityDate="2017-10-06T19:04:14.280" Title="What else can I teach a 2.5 yo child related to reading, pattern recognition, and memory?" Tags="|teaching|reading|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-20T10:21:51.047" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;During the course of history there were many attempts to create, build, invent and bring up the perfect, ideal something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Thay have all failed miserably&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on loving your child, try to be the best mother possible, but be prepared to being &lt;em&gt;good enough&lt;/em&gt;. For your own sake and for your child's sake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do to bring up your child with the same attitude you wrote your question, I daresay both you and your child(ren?) will be extremely unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-03-20T10:21:51.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19106" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-20T14:19:24.313" Score="16" ViewCount="2280" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a comment to another question the following &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19018/how-do-you-raise-an-intelligent-and-happy-daughter-in-a-sexist-world#comment34780_19018&quot;&gt;assertion&lt;/a&gt; was made:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are you a qualified and trained teacher? Homeschooling would be detrimental if you are not a professional in this industry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While detrimental means &quot;tending to cause harm&quot; we can probably lower the bar a bit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do children homeschooled by those without professional teacher training or specific teaching qualifications have worse outcomes in life than those schooled by professional, trained, and qualified teachers, as found in public education?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While personal experiences are valuable, I'm specifically interested in research or studies show or demonstrate this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-03-20T17:58:11.330" Title="Is non-professional homeschooling detrimental to children?" Tags="|education|teaching|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19106" CreationDate="2015-03-20T15:59:56.583" Score="17" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do children homeschooled by those without professional teacher training or specific teaching qualifications have worse outcomes in life than those schooled by professional, trained, and qualified teachers, as found in public education? ... &lt;em&gt;I'm specifically interested in research or studies show or demonstrate this.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Studies cost money, usually supplied directly or indirectly by the government, or by interested parties. Since proof of superiority of outcome is not a prerequisite to homeschool, I doubt either the government, educators (who &lt;em&gt;lose money for every child in the district who is being homeschooled&lt;/em&gt;), or the parents themselves (who already believe in the superiority of homeschooling for both correct and erroneous reasons) have supplied the considerable money needed for a decent study to be done. On the other hand, educators unfortunately have a vested interest in proving homeschooling is detrimental to children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, your request for studies (at least good ones) might be possible, but they will be difficult to find, and studies (of whatever quality) with conflicting results could be found by someone with a particular bias to support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what do we have to work with? How can we infer the value or the harm of homeschooling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parental involvement has long been recognized as a primary factor in outcomes of education (i.e. before homeschooling was even a thing).&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can pick your opinion then support it with studies.&lt;sup&gt;[3]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[4]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[5]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[6]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[7]&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A notable increase in the number of U.S. families choosing to homeschool their children in recent years has underscored the need to develop more systematic knowledge about this approach to education. Drawing on a &lt;a href=&quot;http://eus.sagepub.com/content/43/3/339.short&quot;&gt;theoretical model of parental involvement&lt;/a&gt; as well as research on families’ social networks, this study longitudinally examines home- and public-school parents’ motivations for home-based involvement in their fourth through eighth grade children’s education at two time points. The study also examines whether involvement activities predicted student proximal achievement outcomes (academic self-efficacy, intrinsic motivation for learning, and self-regulatory strategy use) across the two groups. Results suggest that parental self-efficacy for involvement, specific invitations from the child, and parent social networks are positively related to home-based parental involvement across the groups, although home- and public-school parents recorded significantly different perceptions of personal self-efficacy, role activity beliefs, social networks, and child proximal achievement outcomes. Findings are discussed with reference to implications for future research and practice.&lt;sup&gt;[2]&lt;/sup&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I can think of four National Merit Scholar recipients in my son's high school graduation year. Three were homeschooled. Is that how one measures success? I hope not. The public schooled one has a bad relationship with his parents (moved far away, never calls, etc.) but has a good job (did not pursue graduate degree). One of the homeschooled recipients went on to get a PhD in literature from a prestigious university, but is unemployed, and recently got married to another unemployed PhD. The third graduated art school and has a low-paying job drawing comic strips (his dream). The forth finished a degree in art and photography, worked at a low-paying job for a couple of years, then went back to school, and is now happily married and working as a nurse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this says to me is &lt;em&gt;that they are like everybody else&lt;/em&gt; in this economy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are you a qualified and trained teacher? Homeschooling would be detrimental if you are not a professional in this industry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is nonsense espoused by someone with a bias against homeschooling. He might believe (without reason)...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...that homeschool parents [are] either move-to-the-country anarchist goat-herders, or right-wing Bible-thumpers, and their children [are] either mathematically-limited, due to Mama's fear of math, or child prodigies in rocket-science who were unthinkably socially hindered.&lt;sup&gt;[8]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your question as asked cannot be answered with authority. If you want to discuss the pros and cons of parent's experiences with homeschool with an eye towards trying to find truth and not simply justification, you'll need to ask a different question. The one you ask now will be long on opinion and short on proof.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[1] &lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1009048817385&quot;&gt;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1009048817385&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[2] &lt;a href=&quot;http://eus.sagepub.com/content/43/3/339.short&quot;&gt;Linking Parental Motivations for Involvement and Student Proximal Achievement Outcomes in Homeschooling and Public Schooling Settings&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[3] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053535700001001&quot;&gt;Differential effects of parental involvement on cognitive and behavioral outcomes by socioeconomic status&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[4] &lt;a href=&quot;http://uex.sagepub.com/content/42/1/82.short&quot;&gt;The Relationship Between Parental Involvement and Urban Secondary School Student Academic Achievement&#xA;A Meta-Analysis&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[5] &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207&quot;&gt;Parental Involvement in Homework&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[6] &lt;a href=&quot;http://sf.oxfordjournals.org/content/78/1/117.short&quot;&gt;Parental Involvement as Social Capital: Differential Effectiveness on Science Achievement, Truancy, and Dropping Out*&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[7] &lt;a href=&quot;http://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ893891&quot;&gt;Exploring Academic Outcomes of Homeschooled Students&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;[8] &lt;a href=&quot;http://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ682480&quot;&gt;Homeschoolers on to College: What Research Shows Us&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-20T16:59:58.033" LastActivityDate="2015-03-20T16:59:58.033" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19106" CreationDate="2015-03-20T17:58:11.330" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.johnholtgws.com/unschooling-research-and-support/&quot;&gt;This page&lt;/a&gt; lists a number of scholarly resources on the subject.  However, it's very difficult to compare, because homeschools are not even close to standardized.  Homeschoolers often dominate academic events like spelling bees, sports like figure skating (Michelle Kwan), entrepreneurial ventures (Andrew Carnegie), and other fields (Thomas Edison).  They have better average scores than public schoolers on standardized tests.  Homeschoolers who want to go to college generally excel there as well.  On the social front, homeschool graduates  have much higher rates of involvement in charities and community projects.  Study after study confirms this.  Yes, those studies don't separate &quot;professional&quot; homeschoolers from others, but the vast majority of homeschoolers are not professionals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, we have Lindsay Lohan and Adam Lanza.  Although in Adam Lanza's case, he was previously in public school for many years and they couldn't handle him either.  Most of the worst-case examples of bad homeschooling outcomes would probably have been as bad or worse at school.  Same goes for the reverse.  How can you know a particular child who did well in school wouldn't do even better in homeschool?  It's very difficult to compare with a hypothetical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, many of the positive outcomes are self-selecting.  For example, homeschoolers who don't want to go to college don't often bother with standardized tests.  Those who aren't good spellers don't try to enter spelling bees.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as professional training goes, I have read many anecdotal accounts of public school teachers who found their training almost useless when they decided to homeschool their own children.  As Fezzik from &lt;em&gt;Princess Bride&lt;/em&gt; said, &quot;You use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people, than when you only have to be worried about one.&quot;  Contrary to popular belief, most homeschoolers don't have dozens of children :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For just one example, grades are utterly irrelevant in homeschool.  You either keep working with the child until he achieves mastery, or you drop the topic and come back to it later when he's better prepared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we started homeschooling, I took it upon myself to learn as much as I could about education:  how children learn best, how to deal with ADHD, etc.  I learn from the same sources a professional educator would.  To my great surprise, I found that schools often can't or won't follow their own experts' advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I asked professional educators I know, I found this was an extreme source of frustration to them.  They often know methods that would help their students learn better, but their hands are often tied in being able to employ them, because of political or practical considerations.  Ironically, homeschoolers are in a much better position to utilize those expert recommendations than professionals are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I discovered that experts know a 10-minute recess once per hour would solve a good part of the behavior problems ADHD causes in schools.  My son's school had one 15-minute recess &lt;strong&gt;per day&lt;/strong&gt;, which he was often held in from due to his ADHD-related behavior problems.  Now that he's homeschooled, it's almost a non-issue.  He can take as long of a recess as he needs, whenever he needs it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other examples where we're following the professionals' advice better than the professionals can:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Each topic is geared to the individual level of challenge they need, at the individual pace they need.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We can go into depth on topics our kids are passionate and curious about at the moment.  My seven year-old probably knows more about ancient Egypt than I do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We use a computer program that gives instant feedback for math practice, where he often used to fill out entire worksheets incorrectly and not know until the next day or even the next week.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Differentiated_instruction&quot;&gt;differentiated instruction&lt;/a&gt; is able to be much more targeted.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our kids have many more opportunities to ask clarifying questions.  We never have to move on in order to keep to the schedule or to give other kids a chance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our kids are not overloaded with &quot;homework.&quot;  They have plenty of time for play, the arts, and family activities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do some homeschoolers have worse outcomes than they would have had at public school?  Sure, but the statistics are in homeschooling's favor, and I think the outlier cases are mostly due to ideology rather than a lack of training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-03-20T17:58:11.330" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19086" CreationDate="2015-03-20T18:01:17.127" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few things at work here, that seem to be combined in your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is the concept that your child should be exposed to diseases at a younger age in order to avoid sickness at an older age.  Much of your immune system works such that once you are exposed to a particular antigen (such as a protein from a virus or a bacteria), you produce T-cells and other related cells that protect against that antigen, and some of them persist for a long time - decades or even your entire life.  This is how and why immunization works; it works the same way by simply getting sick.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://sepa.duq.edu/regmed/immune/memory.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's a somewhat detailed explanation of memory in the immune system.&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chicken pox is the classic example of this from my generation; you knew you would get sick once from it, so your parents often tried to get you sick with chicken pox at 3 or 4, so you wouldn't have it at 7 or 8 - or even older, as an adult when it can be potentially more dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is happening here is that everyone has a set of diseases that is in the local environment; this includes bacteria in your water, parasites, viruses, and bacteria in the dirt, and the various respiratory and skin-carried bacteria, viruses, etc., that the people in your community carry.  You get exposed to these diseases as a child, have a reaction once or a couple of times, and then have sufficient immunity to be protected.  Having your children in daycare means they get these reactions early in childhood rather than later.  Other diseases - measles, the flu, chickenpox, etc. - tend to not work quite the same way (in the sense that you're not likely to be exposed to them just by going to daycare, though you certainly &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be; and some of them, like the flu, are less easy to gain effective immunity from).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is some evidence of this; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/9098-kids-day-care-infections.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this LiveScience article&lt;/a&gt; discusses a recent study that confirms that kids get sick the same overall, but get it earlier, when in daycare.  This is intuitively logical; for diseases that you can be effectively protected from, you will tend to get them at one time or the other, with a comparatively similar cumulative amount.  Diseases like influenza, which are harder to gain total immunity from, may not follow this pattern, but apparently either are insignificant in the total cumulative sample or you do gain some protection from (perhaps reduction in duration).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second concept is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygiene_hypothesis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hygeine Hypothesis&lt;/a&gt;, which refers to the concept that being &quot;too clean&quot; leads to more susceptibility to allergies and allergic diseases later in life.  There is less support for this being related to common childhood diseases (although that support may be hard to obtain in any event, given the prevalence of immunizations); it's also thought to be most important very early in life (as a fetus, or in the first few months of life), and many things point to parasites as being more useful than viruses or bacteria here.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is fairly significant support for this hypothesis, although it is certainly far from proven, both in its mechanism and the overall causal relationship.  The hypothesis is only a few decades old (Wikipedia dates it to 1989, which my wife (an immunologist) thought was about right), so it still has some time to go before it's widely accepted as theory (both from needing more data, and more time for refutation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study you referred to in the OP may be either the study referenced in my first section, or the hygiene hypothesis - or it could be both, as it's entirely possible they're one and the same mechanism.  The earlier study does mention asthma specifically, but it references it as if it were not part of the study (&quot;Other studies show...&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did find a study on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22584195&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The effect of cats and daycare exposure to asthma&lt;/a&gt;, although on a specific population of children deemed likely to get asthma (based on their having atopic dermatitis, a strong asthma risk factor).  It showed a significant risk reduction for asthma for children in daycare; as with any study it's hard to say if other correlated factors could be relevant (and if the subpopulation is representative of the greater population).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The specific effects on asthma and allergies are likely to follow you through later in life, all the way through adulthood.  The effects from starting daycare to avoid later sicknesses will likely be eliminated by mid-childhood (I've seen numbers around 10-13 years of age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-20T18:01:17.127" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19065" CreationDate="2015-03-20T19:11:40.193" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are not going to get an accurate report on the day's activities in the classroom from a five year old. In fact most 13 year olds don't report accurately on what's going on. I arranged to spend two full days in my child's classroom. I sat at the back, and had a laptop, and tried to work, although I actually found the noise and chaos made working impossible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Afterwards I was able to see much more clearly what was happening. For example, my child said a week or so earlier, &quot;A and B were throwing an eraser back and forth, and were not in trouble, and it went past B and I threw it back to them so they could keep going, and I got in trouble but A and B did not.&quot; Well that certainly sounds like a teacher picking on someone doesn't it? My two days in the classroom taught me that this teacher let things go for a while and then said &quot;stop&quot; and anyone who did it after that was in trouble. My child hadn't even noticed that she had said stop, and didn't know that was her rule. There were plenty of other unspoken rules that I was able to explain after monitoring the room. As well I got a better picture of the expectations they had that were unreasonable, and was able to get changes to those in the IEP my child had for a few years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you tell the school that &lt;em&gt;understanding what your child is doing wrong and teaching your child how to behave at school&lt;/em&gt; is your motivation for being in the classroom I expect they will agree to it. You might even say that the tales you hear at home don't make sense and you want to see what is really happening. You may end up helping your child navigate the school system and make a huge difference in the next decade or so of his life. Or you may unmask a cruel and unskilled teacher who for some reason cares what funding the school board gets. Either way will be a big win. I urge you to arrange this as soon as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-03-20T19:11:40.193" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19082" CreationDate="2015-03-21T01:57:10.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Marijuana has serious long lasting effects. &lt;a href=&quot;https://today.duke.edu/2012/08/potiq&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; and several other articles based on the same data have shown without any ambiguity that it has long term serious effects. As an epidemiologist I attended a conference in July 2014 where a study was presented on this same cohort. This study followed 1000 new-zealand young middle-class for 20 years from 10 to 30. Accounting for parents family situation, family income, school grades etc. they show unambiguously that use of marijuana is linked to: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;increased occurrences of mental health issues such as depression&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lasting mental deficits&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;deteriorated relationships (couple, friends)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lowered feeling of happiness in life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lower professional success (typically lower incomes at same age than their parents, the opposite is true for non marijuana users)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;poorer financial situation (lower credit scores in particular)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, higher consumptions are linked with worse outcomes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also well acknowledged that the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theverge.com/2014/6/24/5836762/the-link-between-weed-and-schizophrenia-is-way-more-complicated-than&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;onset of schizophrenia is very connected to marijuana use&lt;/a&gt;. It's difficult to know which way this is working but probably both ways. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A fairly synthetic description of the impact of marijuana can also be found on this &lt;a href=&quot;http://learnaboutmarijuanawa.org/factsheets/adolescents.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;University of Washington page&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I have two personal anecdotes that I will make sure to tell my kids before they come of age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a girl friend who smoked a lot of marijuana for from 17 to 19. I met her when she was 20, she had completely stopped for a year. She told me that was 2 lost years in her life, she did basically nothing and feels like she will never completely recover. She was brilliant in school and was now painfully getting the minimum done to finish her studies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cousin of a friend had the worse experience of all: he smoked once, got high and never got down, he will likely be unable to do anything in life due to severe hallucinations. He for sure had specific genetic predispositions but who knows his or her genes? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given all that, my message to my kids is clear: you cannot afford to take the risk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13795" LastEditorUserId="13795" LastEditDate="2015-03-21T02:02:26.193" LastActivityDate="2015-03-21T02:02:26.193" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19113" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-21T09:30:11.873" Score="6" ViewCount="2866" Body="&lt;p&gt;My fingertips and thumbs are splitting and cracking from changing nappies. What would you recommend to heal them? Normal moisturisers don't seem to work. I'm in the UK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is as a direct result of becoming a father of two twins (8 months old).  We're using Pampers disposables, normal handsoaps, not high in alcohol.  If this isn't a parenting issue, I'm not sure what is!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/z9I97.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;owww&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13549" LastEditorUserId="13549" LastEditDate="2015-03-22T18:54:05.717" LastActivityDate="2022-04-20T22:59:56.173" Title="Thumbs splitting from changing nappies &amp; repeated hand washing" Tags="|hygiene|diaper|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19091" CreationDate="2015-03-21T18:41:17.863" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bothersome But Normal&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, the good news first - this is totally normal. I've seen this in my kids and I've seen this in other people's kids. Lots. If this is the only indication of possible ADD/ADHD then I don't think you have anything to worry about (particularly as the doctor says they're ok).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You're In Control&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the first thing is to realise that you - with your partner, if you have one, and anyone else involved in their upbringing, have total control over your children's lives (within the bounds of law and ethics). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although it's good for them to have their choices and preferences listened to, they don't get to impose their decisions on you. In this case their decision seems to be not to do as they're told until you've told them multiple times at high volume.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/2iAvG.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;&amp;quot;GET TO THE CHOPPA! DO IT NOW!&amp;quot;&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;should not usually be necessary. (Although if you're saving them from alien hunters in the Central American jungle then all bets are off).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make a Plan&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what you need is a plan. Make this plan in discussion with your partner or anyone else majorly involved in day-to-day childcare (e.g. grandparents, nannies). You all need to be on the same page for this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, working together, come up with some rewards for them doing what their told, and some consequences for them ignoring you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The consequences should be things that you can actually follow through on, i.e. you're actually going to need to do them, at least once and maybe 4 or 5 times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So make it things that aren't too serious - e.g. no TV or computer games for the rest of the day. That way it's practical for you to actually go through with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's worth thinking of these things in advance rather than trying to do them 'on the fly', so you can make sure they're proportionate and sensible, and that the other people involved in childcare will actually help you to go through with them (e.g. if you say &quot;no TV today&quot; and then they get TV at Grannie's house later in the day, that's not going to work).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For rewards, I'd go for some small-but-immediate ones - e.g. my kids like pressing the button on the car key that remotely unlocks the car and makes the wing mirrors unfold - and some big ones that they can gradually work up to over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Switch Off The TV&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you want to give them an instruction, it's not worth trying to compete with the TV. You can switch it right off, or if you have a DVR then you can pause it (this is what I do), or you can mute it (not as good because the image is still distracting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may cause some wailing-and-gnashing-of-teeth type noises from your kids, but I think it's worth it to get over the message &quot;when Dad has something important to say, that's more important than the TV&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;They Need To Listen&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- you need to get them to stop talking, sit still and look at you, &lt;br&gt;&#xA;- you need to get your own face at the same height as their face, &lt;br&gt;&#xA;- and you need to get and hold eye-contact with them.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're sitting on the sofa then the easiest way to do this is to sit down next to them - if they're sitting on the floor then sit on the floor next to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some reason, most children seem to find it easier to listen attentively when they're sitting down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be Concise, Be Clear, Be Decisive&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you've got their attention. Then you need to speak to them very briefly and directly, using language that's appropriate for their age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Get your shoes and coats on guys, we're going swimming!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bad:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I think we might go on a trip, do you want to switch off the TV now or shall we watch for a bit longer? Mum thinks this but I think that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, kids no longer listening at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'm not saying don't ever ask their opinion (you should), I'm saying that it's only fair to them that if what you're really doing is giving them an instruction that you want them to follow, that should sound different from normal conversation. Because it helps them to understand that, on this particular occasion, they're being told what to do. Get their opinions at a different time, in normal conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How Many Times Do You Want To Repeat Yourself?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So this is totally up to you. It's not something the kids get to decide. For me, I'm willing to say the same thing three times. The first time I'm just saying it, the second time I'm clarifying/reminding, and the third time I'm giving them a warning that they're approaching what I'd consider to be naughty behaviour:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Firmly:&lt;/em&gt; Elsa, put your ice skates on. This is the third time I'm telling you - if I have to tell you for a fourth time then &lt;em&gt;(negative consequence will happen)&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you don't need to get loud or angry doing this - just make sure you have their full, undivided attention. You're explaining to them a choice that you want them to make: do they do the thing you want them to do without being asked/told any more times, or does the consequence occur? It's up to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to be totally consistent about actually following through with these consequences. If you say that &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; will happen, then &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; really definitely needs to actually happen, without fail, every single time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time you do this, they will probably not believe that you actually have the power to make things happen in a different way to how they usually happen - you may hear cries of &quot;but we &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; have TV&quot;. After a couple of iterations - 1 to 5 in the worst-case scenario,  in my experience - they'll realise that you actually do have the power to impose consequences on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tones Of Voice&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to give them some clues as to how you're feeling which &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; depend on volume. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practise using different tones of voice, from 'enthusiastic request' through 'Mary Poppins giving an instruction' to 'I am astonished and severely disappointed that you're even considering not doing what I've told you'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Rewards&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pretty straightforward, this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Small rewards: Everyone who gets their ice-skates on without having to be asked more than one time gets .... &lt;em&gt;(small reward)&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Large rewards: When I think you've listened really well, I'll put a sticker on your sticker chart and when you both get to 20 stickers we'll go to the theme park!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Counting to 3&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it can be helpful to find a way to stipulate that you want the thing doing within a reasonable time. I'd wait until the third time of asking to do this, and then go with something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Arna, if you haven't cleared up the icicles in your bedroom &lt;em&gt;by the time I count 3&lt;/em&gt; then &lt;em&gt;(bad thing will happen)&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;br&gt;&#xA;  1 &lt;em&gt;(normal voice)&lt;/em&gt; &lt;br&gt;&#xA;  2! &lt;em&gt;(stern warning voice)&lt;/em&gt; &lt;br&gt;&#xA;  3. &lt;em&gt;(disappointment that they haven't done it and that the bad consequence will therefore have to occur)&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do give them a reasonable amount of time to actually do the thing - bearing in mind that any physical activity (coats, shoes, etc) is way harder for a little one than it is for a grown-up. Otherwise it's not fair and they'll be able to see that, so it won't create the improvement in future behaviour that you're looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;But They Really Can't Hear Me!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they have no physical hearing problem (maybe check for this?) and no behavioural/psychological/neurological issues then they &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; hear you. They're just choosing to ignore you (sorry).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The 'Corpse Rule'&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're telling them what to do - or even when you're just getting their attention, it works best if you give them instructions for things that are &lt;em&gt;active&lt;/em&gt; rather than &lt;em&gt;passive&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the rule-of-thumb is that if a corpse can do it, it's something passive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Less effective: Be quiet, guys. Stop talking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;More effective: Sit on your bottoms and cross your legs. Fold your arms and zip your mouths shut &lt;em&gt;(make imaginary zipper gesture to own mouth)&lt;/em&gt;. Now put on your listening ears!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Turnabout Is Fair Play&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want them to listen to you, then you need to make sure that you make some time to listen to them. It's only fair. The more you can work on improving your communication with them, the better this whole thing will work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having 10 minutes at bedtime for you to cuddle them (each of them individually with siblings out-of-the-way if at all possible) and talk about whatever they want to talk about - no distractions, no TV, no anything except cuddle and chat - works really well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suggested Reading&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1848123094&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk&lt;/a&gt;, Faber and Mazlish, ISBN 978-1848123090 - child-of-the-60s advice for communicating effectively with your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Behaviour-Book-Better-Behaved-Child/dp/0007198248/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Good Behaviour Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Child from Birth to Age Ten&lt;/a&gt;, William and Martha Sears, ISBN 978-0007198245 - behaviour management in general, without having to be an ogre.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://behavioradvisor.com/ParentIndex.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dr Mac's Behaviour Advisor&lt;/a&gt; - website and app on positive parenting, kind of a spin-off from his very useful advice to teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other Thoughts&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expect them to push the boundaries sometimes, that's normal too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried to present a range of possible tools here - you don't need to try and use all of them at once. Take what works for you. If you only do one thing then make it &quot;TV off&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that's helpful!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2015-03-21T18:41:17.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19117" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-21T20:19:18.263" Score="8" ViewCount="4639" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old daughter doesn't express her hunger. When I ask her if she is hungry, she never says yes, even with a big gap between meals. When I feed her, she will eat. She is not a self-interested eater. She doesn't ask for food even when she's hungry, but I can't tell whether or not she is hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how to take this forward, please help me out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14218" LastEditorUserId="9221" LastEditDate="2015-03-22T09:46:38.257" LastActivityDate="2017-12-08T14:18:00.440" Title="My kid doesn't express her hunger" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19117" CreationDate="2015-03-22T03:52:23.973" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think one reasonable solution to this is simply to offer her food on a reasonably regular basis, and allow her to eat however much she wishes at each meal (including none).  Offer her breakfast, lunch, dinner, plus a snack in between each, say at 08:00 (breakfast), 10:00 (snack), 12:00 (lunch), 3:00 (snack), 5:00 (dinner).  She'll be getting food often enough that she'll have the blood sugar and the necessary energy to get through the day, and she will have several opportunities to eat enough for her other needs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you're not pressuring her to eat a particular amount, this should work fairly well.  It's important not to pressure her to eat though - not even the 'finish your plate, there are kids in China starving' or whatnot from our parents' era.  Be accepting if she eats nothing at a meal or snack.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also separately work with her to understand her feelings.  I work with my three year old to help realize when he's misbehaving because he's hungry or low blood sugar; I point it out to him that he is probably hungry based on his behavior, and he often agrees.  Kids often need to be taught what certain feelings mean - just like they often need to be taught what it feels like when you need to urinate.  When she seems to be hungry based on her mood, behavior, etc., plus a reasonably long time since last meal, point out to her that she is probably hungry.  Over time she will learn to recognize it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-22T03:52:23.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19113" CreationDate="2015-03-22T06:49:46.207" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't imagine this is a diaper related problem, but I can see a new parent having some relevant circumstances change:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You're around children you want to protect from germs &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You're around children that are constantly making messes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You may have your hands in water more from giving baths or hand washing baby bottles, dishes or clothes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1 &amp;amp; 2 mean you wash your hands more often. 3 is basically the same thing, you just happen to do it while cleaning something else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you use soap you strip the natural oils from your skin. These oils help protect your skin from the environment, and hold in moisture. Losing that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sebaceous_gland#Function&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;natural protection&lt;/a&gt; leads to drying and cracking of the skin. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very common for people that wash their hands a lot to develop cracked hands, especially around the fingertips (the finger tips see the most action). Mechanics and dish washers are good examples of occupations fraught with cracked hands. Maybe parents can go on the list? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution is to either limit the exposure of your hands to stop and water or apply something to your hands after the fact. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a variety of products out there to help with this. Incidentally, when my son was a new born I also had cracked hands (it was also winter). I personally used Eucerin Hand Cream. Whatever your brand, I recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://health.howstuffworks.com/skin-care/moisturizing/products/creams-and-lotions-different.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cream over lotion&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cream helps not only to moisturize your chaffed hands, but to protect them from the elements in lieu of your stripped oils. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Petroleum jelly &lt;em&gt;type&lt;/em&gt; ointments can also be effective, such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaphor&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Aquaphor&lt;/a&gt; (made by the same company as Eucerin). Ointments can give you &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.edocamerica.com/healthtip/ht20121128.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;better protection&lt;/a&gt; than creams or lotions, but they're also much greasier and are thus more likely to leave a residue on objects they come in contact with. I prefer them for parts of the body that aren't likely to make much contact with anything else (elbows, cheeks, body). When I've had very cracked skin (right by the fingernails) I'll apply some of this thicker stuff, even though I inevitably leave residue on surfaces (and my glasses). Fingertips are constantly rubbing against objects(which you never notice until your finger is throbbing!), and the Aquaphor helps your finger to slide against surfaces instead of be abraded by them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of an ointment, you could use pure &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petroleum_jelly&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;petroleum jelly&lt;/a&gt;, which is thicker and provides a stronger barrier against moisture. That is, it traps in your skin's moisture better, and it also repels environmental moisture that may wash away other more soluble substances. However, petroleum jelly doesn't have any medicinal properties and isn't absorbed by the skin. It's a purely protective solution. In the past, I have used petroleum jelly on &lt;em&gt;top&lt;/em&gt; of other treatments, to help keep the medicinal creams from being washed/wiped away. Vaseline is the most famous brand of petroleum jelly, but since it's made of 100% petrolatum, it's easy to find generic substitutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have also been times where my fingertips have been so cracked that I've had to apply some pain relieving antibiotic ointment with a band-aid. Sometimes the bandage is the best bet when trying to prevent further chaffing/irritation of the affected area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aquaphor and Eucerin are also both products recommended to us by our son's dermatologist. They're safe for baby skin, are not perfumed, and we use them on him for everything from diaper rash to eczema to dry skin. I'm sure comparable products of other brands out there exist, but I've not tried them so I can't give any personal recommendations. The downside of Eucerin/Aquaphor is that they tend to be more expensive than other moisturizers by volume. I pay the premium because lower-cost products either did not work for me us or made things worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-23T21:00:56.617" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T21:00:56.617" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19121" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-22T10:46:41.773" Score="5" ViewCount="2326" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1-year-old son slaps me and other people in the face. He thinks that he is playing with us that way. I always hold his hand tightly and look at him firmly and tell him this is wrong in a firm tone. It seems that my approach is not effective with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any previous experience or suggestions about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14227" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-07T12:38:13.707" LastActivityDate="2019-07-07T12:38:13.707" Title="How to make my 1-year-old stop slapping me and other people in the face?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|violence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19122" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-22T17:05:46.423" Score="9" ViewCount="3164" Body="&lt;p&gt;While this is not anyone in my family, I witnessed a father at a party treating his adolescent daughter like crap. The daughter's kind of introverted and didn't socialize too much, but the father would frequently approach her, say something offensive, and when she would retaliate, he'd punch her in her arm and sort of wrestle with her, but she didn't enjoy it and wasn't having fun, often screaming for her mother to get him to stop, but the mother wouldn't do anything either. He would stop after she screamed for her mother though, but the fact of the matter is that if he's annoying and agonizing her this much in PUBLIC, he could be treating her even worse in private.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to see her as a &quot;teenage punk&quot; and treats her rough because I guess he is either a jerk or also doesn't like the way that she treats him, but maybe she treats him distantly because he is treating her like crap? I don't know, but one time she stayed sleeping longer than usual, and she was in a  bad/annoyed mood, and I saw him grab her and start clapping really loudly in her face, and when she throw an arm in his direction, he twisted her arm behind her back and put her in a headlock and everyone was laughing but her face suggested that she didn't find it funny at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, he yanks her by her arm, punches her (not as hard as he can, but still does it with some force to anger her), and is always roughhousing her, even though she doesn't like any of it and resents it/him despite lots of people laughing like it's &quot;father-daughter-time&quot; or such, but I feel that she's being negatively impacted by this by being the target of his behavior towards her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He often doesn't do it out of visible anger like one would think, but laughs/finds it amusing to do. I do not tell anyone because he's my relative's boyfriend's sister's husband, and I don't want to start my trouble with everyone, including family members of my own by saying anything negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any input? I'm asking if anyone considers this as abusive or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14229" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-03-26T16:28:22.167" LastActivityDate="2018-01-03T02:08:29.733" Title="Drawing the line between abuse and &quot;roughhousing&quot; a teenager?" Tags="|teen|abuse|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19122" CreationDate="2015-03-22T18:20:42.820" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Abuse normally covers significant risk of harm and can be either physical, sexual, emotional abuse, or neglect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This behaviour is, from your description, unpleasant and unacceptable, but I'm not sure if it meets a threshold for abuse.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she being harmed by it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It'd be great if everywhere had a &quot;report early report often&quot; approach to child protection.  You'd just leave a report with child protection social workers.  They would then see if the school or police or hospitals or sexual health clinics were also sending in reports.  Sadly we don't have that system. There are mixes of &quot;guess the threshold to trigger a referral&quot; with &quot;mandatory reporting: you'll lose your job if you guess wrong&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is hard to know what to do when you see someone being bullied.  You could try saying something like &quot;aw come on, give the kid a break&quot; when you see it.  Or you could pull the guy to one side and say that you don't think the girl enjoys it and ask what he thinks.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also just ask her. Ask her if it's okay or if it's too much, and if it is too much ask her what she wants to do about it. You never know, she might have some good ideas but need some help to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-03-22T18:20:42.820" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19122" CreationDate="2015-03-22T22:10:29.110" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yarbro, us random internet people with no personal knowledge of the situation, we're not the best people to make that judgement, I'm afraid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're actually there on the scene and - from what you've written in your post - &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; clearly think that the situation is borderline-abusive / possibly-abusive. And you're worried - rightly IMO - that if that's what goes on in public, then what goes on in private?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the good news - sort of - is that you don't really have to make that determination. The right thing to do - on the basis of your own assessment that you think there &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be abuse taking place, even though you're not sure - is to refer it to an appropriate professional for them, rather than you, to make the judgement about whether abuse is actually occurring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You should definitely not wait until you're certain until making that report.&lt;/strong&gt; Certainty does not usually arise in these cases until &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jul/03/rolf-harris-max-clifford-jimmy-savile-interviewed-dark-sides&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;much later&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what one child protection organisation, the UK's NSPCC, says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The action to take if abuse is suspected&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you ever notice any behaviour that makes you suspect a child is being abused, discuss it with a trained child protection professional.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is especially important given the impact that not being believed could have on a child who's probably found it really difficult to tell you what's been happening. By not reporting your concerns it could also mean that the abuse will continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An assessment by professionals used to dealing with cases of suspected abuse will be the best way forward, even if the child has not directly revealed that something is wrong or if there's any other uncertainty on your part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The NSPCC helpline is open 24 hours a day on 0808 800 5000 and our trained counsellors will be able to take your call and offer advice and support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/what-if-suspect-abuse/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;What to do if you suspect abuse; Your guide to keeping children safe&lt;/a&gt;, National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 2015&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;I don't want to start my trouble with everyone, including family members of my own&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your concern is that you don't want the rest of the family to be angry with you, then make an anonymous report and don't tell anyone that it was you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned that false accusations might be painful for the adult involved, then, well, you're right that they might, but ultimately if the adult is doing nothing wrong then the authorities won't take any action against them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to balance up the possibility of reporting it if it turns out to be nothing (consequence: temporary embarrassment for the adult) versus the consequences of &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; reporting it if it turns out that it &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; abuse (more abuse for the child, with lifelong consequences, and many more years until she can get help for abuse already suffered).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that the child is also a part of your extended family. Personally I feel that any adult owes a duty of protection to any child - but if what you're thinking is that you owe a duty to the adults in the family to not raise false suspicions, you should balance that up with the duty of protection that you owe to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yarbro&lt;/strong&gt;: If 'the daughter' is actually you, then call the child protection authorities in your area. Do it anonymously if you like - you can pretend to be an adult witness just like in your question above. Tell us where you are and we'll tell you the number to call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-26T10:05:33.297" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19125" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19131" CreationDate="2015-03-22T23:11:20.120" Score="10" ViewCount="42999" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our newborn (two weeks) is going through a phase of breastfeeding so fast, audibly gulping it down, that he makes himself sick, which is distressing for everyone and counterproductive as he's hungrier more frequently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I say fast, I'm talking about the frantic gulping like he's never been fed before. He still nurses for about 30 minutes each side, but intervals are dropping from 4 hours to about 90 minutes in some cases. Poor mum barely gets a break!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way to encourage him to take it easy and take a breath?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6051" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T12:17:15.790" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T12:17:15.790" Title="How do you slow down a newborn's feeding?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19113" CreationDate="2015-03-22T23:34:09.703" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a similar issue with my son. My right thumb would crack to to point of bleeding. Moving from soap to non-soap cleaners (like Sorbolene) helped a little. I started using disposable gloves when changing him, this also helped. Eventually, I had to start using a mild cortisone steroid cream (1%) - this helped a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I saw a dermatologist who referred to the problem as contact dermatitis. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The combination of Sorbolene, gloves and cream seemed to solve the problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastEditorUserId="295" LastEditDate="2015-03-23T19:05:41.627" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T19:05:41.627" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19003" CreationDate="2015-03-22T23:51:29.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;White noise. I have just discovered that putting the hair dryer on cool and putting it near the changing mat is properly transformative. You have to turn it on before you start, but it seems to all but guarantee a tear free (for everyone) diaper change. We tried a white noise app but it doesn't cut it, the hair dryer is like magic!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6051" LastActivityDate="2015-03-22T23:51:29.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19125" CreationDate="2015-03-23T03:20:06.593" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;By making himself sick do you mean he's spitting up?  That's fairly common among newborns, for a variety of reasons.  I'll mention a few here, although it's definitely something worth talking about with your pediatrician at your next check-up to make sure there's no acid reflux or other reason he might be spitting up more than normal, and to make sure he's getting enough nutrition (as well as for some suggestions for how to help!).  Try to guess at a measurement of how much he's spitting up if you can before that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby is eating too fast, one possibility is that there's too much milk there when he eats.  This could either be because he's eating too infrequently, so there's a lot of milk there AND he's hungry; or because Mom's producing more milk than necessary.  Mom can usually tell if that's the case, both because it probably will hurt eventually, and he will not eat all of both breasts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It becomes harder to eat as he gets further in, so the strength and speed of the sucking will be less of an issue - but if there's a lot there, he's getting a lot.  If Mom is planning to pump, this might be a good time to start - try to plan a time between feedings near to the next one where there is a decent amount of milk, and take 4-8 oz out of each breast.  That'll make it a bit harder for him to get what he needs, which may help him out, since he's got a strong sucking reflex.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also encourage him to eat only one breast per feeding; this ensures he gets a proper proportion of hindmilk to foremilk.  If he's getting foremilk in too high of a proportion, this means too little fat and too much lactose, which can irritate him and make him gassy.  You also may be having an issue with the letdown - is he getting sprayed a bit when it occurs?  Mom can try expressing some milk without baby when it occurs (into a bowl, a towel, whatever works) to see if that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this might be the issue for you, there are lots of resources on the net for oversupply, simlar to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/oversupply-too-much-breast-milk&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another solution can be to periodically detach him early on to give him a little time to swallow.  We had to do this a bit with ours, if I remember correctly.  You can also change his feeding position to a more upright position; that keeps the milk from going to the back of his throat and instead lets him suck it in naturally.  It also would help if he had acid reflux, though that certainly should be something you shouldn't try to address itself without talking to your pediatrician.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T03:20:06.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19121" CreationDate="2015-03-23T03:27:08.743" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to your child having a mind of his own, but not so much in terms of empathy.  This will be the next several years of your life, to some extent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing to do in my experience is to let him know that he's hurt you, and that if he does it again you'll have to put him down for a minute so that he doesn't keep hitting you.  It won't always help - it will likely turn into a game, to some extent - but that's largely unavoidable.  Yelling at him, grabbing his hand, hitting him back even lightly are all bad ideas - they tell him that violence or physical power is acceptable, which is precisely the opposite of what you're aiming for here.  He also doesn't understand &quot;wrong&quot; at this point in his life; he needs to understand why it's wrong, hence focusing on the pain he caused you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He won't fully understand what it means that you are sad, but that's the important message here.  This is very similar to biting, which also is common at around 1-2 years old;  a firm but not angry &quot;No thank you, that hurts Mommy and makes me sad.  Please don't do that again or I will have to put you down so you can't hurt me.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try for &quot;Hitting isn't nice, petting and hugging is nice but not hitting&quot; redirection; I haven't had as much success with that, but it seems reasonable.  That's similar to &quot;Teeth are not for biting, they're for chewing, would you like a teether?&quot; which did work well for us with our children (who were both to some extent biters).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some books that might also help; &quot;Teeth are not for biting&quot; is a classic, which has a corresponding &quot;Hands are not for hitting&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T03:27:08.743" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12626" CreationDate="2015-03-23T04:55:53.693" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she enjoys reading and recognizes that there are good times and less good times to do this, then invite her to help you build that aforementioned Arduino alarm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option might be to put a lock on her light switch;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B001925P6W&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Master-Lock-Universal-Switch-Lockout/dp/B001925P6W/ref=pd_cp_hi_3&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The worst thing I can imagine happening here; If you stop trying to learn we'll give you candy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14239" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T04:55:53.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12420" CreationDate="2015-03-23T07:28:54.630" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's an old educational style to praise children for high skills and compare them to others in order to be ready for a heavily competing world. Knowing the expectations of the parents and teachers the child can be frustrated when can't reach those high expectations. This can lead to poor self confidence and lack of courage in front of new challenges.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The new type of educational style is to encourage the child to just improve step by step and never compare with others but him/herself, therefore to be happy for any small improvements. This give the child confidence that parents and teachers trust him/her that did the best for a given task and such approach is preparing the child for an adult world where is more important to be serious in every task (which will be more appreciated by a boss) rather than being a failing genius.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;To help the kid's confidence try to praise any good thing he/she's doing (no matter how small it is) rather than expose every mistake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14243" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T07:28:54.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-23T11:09:40.773" Score="7" Body="&lt;h2&gt;By not trying to be perfect&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to believe that children come into the world as blank slates, and that in order for them to grow up right you need to model your vision of perfection. This is impossible, you are setting yourself up for failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you were somehow to achieve perfection how will your daughter learn coping skills? What will happen when she leaves your shelter and enters the imperfect world. Even perfection is imperfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;By letting her be who she is&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you try to control every aspect of your daughter's life you are becoming the sexist abuser that you fear. Let her choose the toys she wants to have, while gently guiding her away from inappropriate choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter loves ponies, fairies and princesses, but we also play with Arduino, Lego and Scratch. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't have to be the same as the boys to be powerful and capable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;By teaching her how to fight&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not literally (though you might consider that) but give her confidence in her ability to compete in a competitive world. Push her to extend her capability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will encounter sexist behaviour, and people will make assumptions about her because she is a girl. Give her confidence in her own abilities. This goes along with not sheltering her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her rise to her own challenges and be there to dust her off if she falls down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;By reinforcing the good&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mention when she does something impressive, and go on mentioning it. My daughter wanted to climb a skate ramp which was too high, and I didn't think she would be able to, but she just kept on going, fantastic tenacity. We still talk about it, and about how tenacious and brave she was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;By giving her the security of a loving home&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You talk a lot about your husband respecting you, you seem almost angry about it. I'm so sorry if this stems from a difficult history, there is no excuse for male violence against a woman. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to remember that respect goes both ways. A good marriage is a partnership. Give her security and she will grow strong with a sure foundation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your relationship with your husband is the most important relationship in her life. Nurture it, guard it, spend time on it and recognise that you are both fallible human beings in need of constant forgiveness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An ideal marriage is not about sharing chores and not yelling at each other, it's a journey you go on together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your partner are going to screw up over and over, it's how you deal with the screw-ups that will have the biggest impact on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;By not denying her gender identity&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience with 3 of my own is that they seem to seek out a gender identity for themselves. My daughter copies everything my wife does. My sons want to be like me. This seems to be just what they do, and I think it's probably OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a girl doesn't mean she can't be &lt;strong&gt;strong tough and brave&lt;/strong&gt;. Don't try to force gender neutrality on her in the interests of equality. She will be who she will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;By providing role models&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children try to learn how to be by copying people around them. Try to provide suitable role models. If you don't she will pick her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Things that won't work&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't put &quot;unshakable self belief&quot; into a person like putting ham into a sandwich. She will develop self belief by trying and succeeding at things (or she might not, depending on her personality). You can encourage self belief by giving her lots of opportunities to win, but you can't just put it into her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise, you can't teach her never to be depressed. She probably sometimes will be depressed. You can however give her a loving supportive environment (which largely comes down to your relationship with your husband) and lots of fun times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;By respecting her as a human being&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is not a robot which you can program, she will have her own ideas. No two people are the same, and no two children are the same. They come into the world wired up with their own little personalities already in place to an extent that I have found surprising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't allow her to be who she is she might pull and pull against the leash you have tied around her until she eventually slips away from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively she might give up trying to fight you and become passive, again not a good result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck with it, kids are hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-03-24T16:49:42.413" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T16:49:42.413" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-03-23T18:27:18.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Trying to hyper control a child will not have a good outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children learn by example. Whatever example you set, the child will emulate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often the quality of a child is linked to the mother's estimation of the father. If the mother thinks poorly of the father, the child will not come out well, and vice versa. I have often observed that the best children result when the father is a hero or prince in the eyes of the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Home schooling is HARD and requires a certain personality. If you are not the teacher personality, home schooling will not get very far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more care and devotion given to a child, the better it will turn out. I have seen many families in which the eldest child was the most talented, the second child, the second-most, the third child the third-most and so on. It is because each child gets successively less attention than the previous child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often very mature and powerful adults result from a child who has had to fend for themself at an early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T18:27:18.090" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18123" CreationDate="2015-03-23T18:35:32.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your plan to have the infants flanking the 3YO sounds good to me.  My son is 11 mo. in a snugride carrier, and my daughter is 6 and forward-facing in a Britax Marathon.  His seat is behind the passenger, her seat is behind mine.  We have a Volvo XC60 btw.  She gets into our car from the passenger side when I pick her up from school, and she can easily get past the snugride base, so regardless which side your 3 y.o. goes out he/she should be able to get in or out of the car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't put anyone in the back seat.  With your toddler in the middle, if need be you can reach back and assist them.  And you won't be able to really see your infants, even with a headrest-mounted mirror, if they're all the way back in the third row.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for what to actually do with the 3rd seat?  With twins and a toddler you're going to need to fold that 3rd seat down for all your gear.  I would basically consider it a lost cause, because even if you're on family outings you're going to be bringing a stroller with you or all manner of other things that will take up a lot of space.  Maybe not the answer you were hoping for, but I'm predicating this on realism in the company of my friends who are family-similar to us.  We have a Bob Revolution stroller for outings, and some friends of ours have the dualie version of this and it takes up a decent amount of room.  I wouldn't expect to find put adults in that back row in any event, especially cause we tend to get a bit carsick that far back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14252" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T18:35:32.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19113" CreationDate="2015-03-23T20:32:50.880" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to frequent hand washing, the diaper wipes may be contributing in some cases.  Even if they are non-alcohol based, if they're pre-moistened they almost certainly have at least a mild detergent in them (solely water-based wipes would be unsanitary as they would grow molds).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gloves of course can help here to create a barrier.  Another solution is to use dry wipes that you moisten yourself (which is what we do, both for our hands and for our first child who had a sensitive bottom).  This allows us to use water-only for diaper changes; dry sanitary wipes are available in large quantities on various internet retailers for less than you'd pay for pre-moistened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-23T20:32:50.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19113" CreationDate="2015-03-24T05:55:01.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a common problem with people who wash their hands a lot, especially in the wintertime. I have no doubt that twins are harder on your hands than singletons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are good suggestions above. Common errors people often make is using water that is too hot, a detergent hand cleanser that is too harsh, and not moisturizing immediately after washing hands (when there's actual moisture in your skin).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Petroleum jelly provides a barrier, which is helpful. What is more helpful, though, are ingredients that actually promote healing (petroleum jelly does not.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for thick creams that have (especially) &lt;em&gt;lanolin&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;allantoin&lt;/em&gt; in them; lecithin, glycerine, honey, jojoba oil, hyaluronic acid, and urea help keep moisture in your skin, and beeswax helps a moisturizer last through a hand washing or two. But the lanolin (which you should be able to buy at a drug store) and allantoin are &lt;em&gt;so&lt;/em&gt; helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One cream that has some of these ingredients is udder cream (used for cow udders).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially, to heal your hands more quickly, it's great to slather the stuff on at night and wear a pair of stretchy cotton gloves (cheap stretchy gardening gloves work) overnight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/beauty/skin/prevent-soothe-chapped-winter-hands?page=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Prevent and Soothe Chapped Winter Hands&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T05:55:01.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19144" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-24T08:04:37.603" Score="10" ViewCount="1773" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, B., has a close friend, G., and a class mate, M. They are all eight years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has come to my attention that M. has offered G. money, if G. would hit himself. G. did and used the money to buy some sweets. Another time, while they were in their underwear in the locker room after sports, M. offered both B. and G. 50 cents each, if they would pull down their underwear and show him their penises. Both B. and G. complied, and M. bought them sweets at a gas station on their way home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;G.'s parents are all wrought up about this. They feel that being curious about each other's bodies is fine, but that the offer of payment involves an element of power that they find problematic. They are also afraid that their son might become the victim of a child molester, who, they think, might also offer sweets or money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how I want to feel about this. The &quot;money, if you hit yourself&quot; feels degrading to me, but mostly I feel that there is a problem on M.'s part that needs to be addressed, while the money for nudity doesn't bother me much. Our family often spend part of their holidays at a nude beach. And I'd pull my pants down for a hundred dollars, also. I'd find it weird that someone would want to pay me for that, but it wouldn't affect me at all. I'd guess my son, who loves to run around naked at home, would have soon forgot the whole incident, if all the parents hadn't made such a drama of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2015-03-30T14:45:04.090" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T14:45:04.090" Title="My son has been offered money by a classmate, if he would pull down his underwear" Tags="|primary-schooler|money|sex|abuse|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="753" CreationDate="2015-03-24T11:22:32.580" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 6 months they pee every 20 - 30min, almost always after eating / nursing / drinking or after waking up and they usually have to poo after eating / nursing because the new food puts pressure on the intestines. If you start holding them and not sitting them down, the additional pressure of bend knees makes it easier to relax. However, this is for the young ones. At about 10 months, the between pee period begins to lengthen and they can hold on for an hour or more. If you carry a baby, they usually do not soil themselves or their mother unless they absolutely have to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The below tips worked with our 1 year old.&lt;/strong&gt; Try to start potty training before they get into the phase of defiance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start with a two to three days journal and write down the time they pee. Leave them without clothes / simple cotton pants on a blanket and keep a huge stash of paper towels beside you. Bring them to the potty every 30 min but only for 2min sitting (after eating can be a bit longer like 5min).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use a key word. Nothing complex. Only one or two words to say when they pee or when you put them onto  the potty. Be sure to not use the keyword in any other circumstance (also not when telling them that you are almost home and they should not &lt;em&gt;keyword&lt;/em&gt; until you are there).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not interrupt very intense playing or eating to bring them to the potty. They could consider it a punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Always bring them to the potty when you come home, before you leave home, before you sit them on the table to eat, when they leave the table after a meal, when they get up from bed, before they go to bed, before taking a bath.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not ask if they have to pee. At a young age they do not understand the question and later, they answer what they want despite the real need to pee. Just tell them you go to the potty and do it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If they protest bodily to be put on a potty, do not force it. They might try to signal that they do not have to pee. Respect that (even if you know it is not true and they pee in their pants two minutes later). They usually know if they have to or not.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Maybe bring some entertainment. A small book for example. Very popular even with grown men.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not work with candy. Praise them in case of success and if you want to give a reward, give them toilet paper afterwards or allow them to flush the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be a good example and let them see you using the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not get frustrated with drawbacks. If an accident occurs, tell them they should use the potty but do not shame them and do not yell at them. Sometimes, they use it as protest. Our toddler can play alone but when he pleads for attention and nothing happens, he will wet his pants.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared for experiments. They will try to take something out of the potty (&lt;em&gt;yuck&lt;/em&gt;) or put something in which is not meant for it (like socks).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you can not manage to bring them to the potty every 30min (at 14 months, we are at 90min intervals), maybe start with a few hours of diaper-free time every day (their skin will thank you for it). Do this in the afternoon since they can hold on longer then.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not expect a miracle but put trust in them. At 14 months, our toddler is still wearing diapers at night or when we are in town for longer than 1 hour. But he hasn't pooped in his diapers since he was 8 months and most of the time, the diapers he wears at daytime stay dry. There is no need to be done with potty training in one week but there is also no need to wait until a certain age.&#xA;A one year old will not get psychic problems when being put on a potty (as long as you do not force it). View it like this: Being dry and in proper clothes is a basic right for children too. Do not force them to soil themselves by putting diapers on their bottom. Small birds, cats, dogs and other animals do not want to soil their nest/layer. It is  the same for small humans. In addition, not having access to parts of their own body (their  nether regions) for two years and longer due to a plastic package on their bottom is not very nice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read some books / blogs / forums on elimination communication / diaper-free to get some inspiration / alternative insights even if you do not practice this method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14261" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T11:22:32.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18854" CreationDate="2015-03-24T14:12:15.920" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did some pretty extensive research on SIDS when a colleague told us that used mattresses were shown to cause SIDS -- even going so far as to download read original research on the subject (by the way, used-mattresses DO NOT contribute to SIDS, well proven).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing I learned is that SIDS is poorly understood, and that cultural and econmic factors seem to be driving forces, although what cultural factors are relevant isn't well understood.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just my opinion, but I don't think SIDS should be a factor in deciding when to put your kid in her own room.  I think the relevant factors are your comfort and the child's well being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent of a 15 month old who still sleeps in our room I have the following observations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When my son wakes up at night, having in his own bed (neigboring ours) means I or my wife can give him our hand and about 90% of the time he just goes immediately back to sleep, comforted that we're there.  This means he disturbs our sleep less than he would in another room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I can't give any compelling evidence for this, but I am 100% convinced that he's happier and more well adjusted this way.  It absolutely feels right.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our current plan is to put him in his own room when he a) can verbally indicate that he likes the idea, and/or he can walk to our room if he needs us for some reason.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only real downside is our sex-life is a bit more a pain.  Generally we have sex in the guest room with the baby monitor on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13308" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T14:12:15.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19144" CreationDate="2015-03-24T14:21:23.437" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is this a problem?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal feeling is that, yes it is. The issue here is one potentially of child abuse -- not your children, but of M. I would question whether M has been subjected to inappropriate requests, or even subject to &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CSE&lt;/a&gt;. It could actually be nothing, but if M is being abused at home or elsewhere it could save M years of hurt if things were actually flagged up and potentially stopped. Of course, it could just be an eight-year-old being silly, but it's actually not up to anyone to be silent because it could be explained away. Rather a false positive than years of unstopped normalised torture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What to do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child does need appropriate boundaries to protect himself. Teaching a child that, in your case, &quot;You can be naked in the house, or when we go to the special beach or in the shower at school when you're having a shower but it's not really ok to be naked at other times. Your body is yours, not anyone else's.&quot; This is actually to protect your son, which is much better than normalising a behaviour that could actually turn quite abusive, if it isn't already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incentivise him getting money for good things that respect his body. Have a pot of money that he gets if he does chores etc, and if he does anything that results in him being paid for showing his body or hurting himself then take it out of the pot, so he doesn't gain anything from it. (he still has to do whatever chores etc). Just continue to make sure he knows his body is his and not anyone else's, and that he can say &quot;No, what a silly thing to give money for.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the other issues is that it's almost a grooming precedent. I understand you have a relaxed view of nakedness, as do I with our kids, but they do have a boundary that their bodies are their bodies, and not for others enjoyment/whatever. The very fact that you've put the question on here indicates you definitely care and that's brilliant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="2513" LastEditDate="2015-03-30T14:42:37.340" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T14:42:37.340" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6397" CreationDate="2015-03-24T17:28:57.520" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8 year old daughter who is extremely motivated to her own agenda, and a 5 year old son that struggles with getting mad quite often. I've found timeouts, lectures, (most) rewards, and punishments to be problematic. I've gotten myself into some bad patterns over the years as I learn how to be a parent for the first time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer is to keep trying new things, track the results, and keep yourself motivated to improve. You're modeling this for him, keep him involved in your process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We hold family meetings every week and have for about 5 months now. These meetings are somewhat like a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.scrumalliance.org/community/articles/2014/april/key-elements-of-sprint-retrospective&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sprint retrospective&lt;/a&gt;. We discuss the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What was good about the period between now and our last meeting?...&lt;em&gt;examples include:&lt;/em&gt; I learned how to ride a bike, or I went to the zoo, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What was bad about the period between now and our last meeting?&#xA;...or what did you struggle with?...or what was in your way?... &lt;em&gt;examples include:&lt;/em&gt; bullying at school, anger that somebody got something he did not, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What improvements can we work toward during the upcoming period?...&lt;em&gt;examples include:&lt;/em&gt; listening on the first try, keeping a positive attitude, making our beds in the morning, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We get moderately good insight into their perspective for the preceding few days. They usually can't recall much beyond that unprompted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I write down &lt;strong&gt;everything&lt;/strong&gt; that is contributed and it becomes a part of the next discussion as well as a sort of family journal. I believe it's of critical importance that they see this as a pool of effort into which the entire family pours contributions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try to keep the meetings under 20 minutes, and unless we're chaining on a discussion about an upcoming change/event we have gotten pretty successful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Afterward I distribute an allowance that is not directly tied to any one performance metric (e.g. chores, homework, attitude), but is meant to help teach them the value of money and the concept of saving. Unless there are extenuating circumstances during the week, I like them to think of this as independent of punishment and reward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned a couple &quot;chores&quot; that other answers (I'll link to them when I can find them) on this site have likened more to baseline expectations. I agree in that I feel a chore is something that helps the household, and is above what's normally expected of you. &lt;em&gt;Examples may include:&lt;/em&gt; some yardwork, setting the table, emptying the home's trash cans, etc. &#xA;I bring this up because sometimes more responsibility can be motivating. I notice this when I give them opportunities to learn tasks outside of their normal work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally I'll end with a few confounding observations that simply highlight the amount of gray area informing this endeavor. Also, I'll reiterate the point I made about trying new things and tracking results by sharing a quote that is serving as our family's current improvement target:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you can't do the little things right, you will never do the big things right - Adm. William H. McRaven&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I awoke this morning to the sound of my two children &quot;secretly&quot; emptying the dishwasher. I hadn't asked them to do this. When asked what their motivations were, they simply replied they thought it would help the morning go smoother.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My daughter despite being practically immune to certain types of reward/punishments would do &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;practically anything&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; for a piece of candy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My son has a similar &quot;trap door&quot; that we can use when all else fails, and it happens to be video games.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13739" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T14:14:24.413" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T14:14:24.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18581" CreationDate="2015-03-24T23:17:08.367" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Teenagers want to forge their own path&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's entirely normal for teenagers to become disinterested in what their parents have to say and to strike out on their own path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider for a moment how you, as an adult would feel if someone kept on telling you what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;A new phase in the relationship&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There comes a point where you need to stop relating to them as little children and enter a more collaborative relationship, where they are making choices and you are taking on more of a supporting role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can no longer force an interest in maths on her. You can find out what she is interested in and work with her on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming from your post that you are in the Ukraine. Best of luck, I hope things get better for you over there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2015-03-24T23:17:08.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2329" CreationDate="2015-03-25T03:51:00.740" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your baby will let you know.  Each of my four started to struggle in the swaddle, wanting more freedom.  Unfortunately, they still needed the swaddle to help them sleep.  Swaddling does help  with the startle reflex and with the &#xA;womb effect.  Thankfully we used the magic sleepsuit when we could no longer swaddle and all my babies slept great because it helped keep them calm and prevented the startle from waking them.  Good luck, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14268" LastActivityDate="2015-03-25T03:51:00.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2015-03-25T09:25:12.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a difficult situation, and I sympathise enormously.  Your wifes desires are entirely emotional and instinctual so rational arguments probably won't make any difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife originally wanted to have 3 children.  We eventually agreed to have only one child.  After our son arrived, my hormonal reaction kicked in and I became open to having another kid, but my wife is a very consequent person, so she is sticking to her guns and I respect her for it.  What changed my wife's mind is overpopulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The human population is rapidly approaching 8 billion.  We have had non stop resource wars for the last 15 years, maybe more depending on how you look at it.  The earth is becoming unrecognizable.  We are driving other species to extinction at an unprecedented rate.  The earth is rapidly becoming uninhabitable for humans, and it's future generations who will bear the worst of effects of this damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can hope for advances in technology which will help the situation.  We can modify our lifestyles to reduce our impact on the planet, but the single thing we can do to improve the situation is to gradually and gently decrease the human population on earth -- before external circumstances cause a mass die off, which I don't want my son to live through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a less global scale, the more time you have for your children, the better it is for your children.  The more money and resources you have for your children -- to get them better medical care, better education, keep them out of debt in their student years, give them a start on buying a house, whatever -- the  more you can do in that regard, the better for you children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the fact is that &lt;strong&gt;having children is a purely selfish activity&lt;/strong&gt;.  The earth needs less people, not more.  The most generous, kindest thing you can do for your children is to have fewer of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can gently get her to see this point (e.g. by watching some movies on the subject, or reading some books), this &lt;strong&gt;might&lt;/strong&gt; help change her point of view.  Otherwise, the only thing I can think is she needs something else in here life to help her feel whole and fulfilled -- maybe a more interesting career is the answer, maybe a hobby, maybe psychotherapy (not trying to be cruel, psychotherapy was very helpful for me).  Buddhism might also be helpful.  In life we have to be happy with what we have and can afford and not fall victim to &quot;more more more&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13308" LastActivityDate="2015-03-25T09:25:12.140" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7735" CreationDate="2015-03-25T16:07:41.893" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt; - Your reasoning is sound, and I agree about the likelihood of the missing &quot;something&quot; being worth exploring further as Ida mentioned in his/her answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer is to understand your own stance completely. I don't really believe there is a &quot;meh&quot; stance to be had. This is a human life we're talking about. It sounds like you would like some of your logical concerns addressed and to understand and resolve the &quot;missing&quot; elements of her life. It doesn't sound like you really don't want another child,...like...ever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me paint a picture of longer than a few days on this same issue from my own experience. I'd like to be able to help someone see what may lie ahead. My wife and I have 2 children; a 5 year old boy, and an 8 year old girl. She wants 1 more and has for 5 years. As she has felt the window of opportunity closing lately, so within the last 2 years the following things have happened: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We've seen marriage counselors for this to the tune of several thousand dollars. If you &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; don't want a kid, and she &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; does; I'm afraid a counselor is only going to meander along on a tour of Maslow's hierarchy of needs ultimately leading you both back to the question which is yours and &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; yours to answer. &lt;strong&gt;...If you really know where you stand, save the money for a house :)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My wife took her IUD out a couple months ago. She says it was to see if it helped her migraines. Although I'm happy she told me, I feel betrayed and our sex life has suffered. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I still &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; don't want another child, and she still &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; does. We still argue about it, sometimes she pouts for days. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise things are wonderful between us and our kids. I want to advise you to stay strong if this is really what you want. If you truly don't want another child you will feel that way in a week, a year, or 5 years. The same goes for your wife, she will always feel unsatisfied in this regard. I feel strongly enough about not rocking our boat, that I'm willing to suffer through the fights and remind her of how fortunate we are to have our present circumstances. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last point; excel spreadsheets don't quantify emotions. It doesn't matter how high you stack your reasoning and logic; her &quot;feelings&quot; speak a different language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13739" LastActivityDate="2015-03-25T16:07:41.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19158" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19162" CreationDate="2015-03-25T19:36:07.440" Score="5" ViewCount="11463" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe corporal punishment to be a useful tool in the tool-shed when it comes to lovingly training my beautiful 3 year old boy.&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the purposes of this question, I'll just say that my style of corporal punishment is to stop what my child is doing, &lt;em&gt;calmly&lt;/em&gt; tell them why I'm going to spank them, and then give them a strike on the rear or hand that is &lt;em&gt;just light enough to be uncomfortable&lt;/em&gt;, then reiterate my expectation and give them a hug and a kiss.&lt;sup&gt;[2]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This method has been phenomenally effective for my wife and me and we have no qualms with doing it at home or in front of friends/family that we know implement the same style of parenting. I do not, however, &lt;strong&gt;ever&lt;/strong&gt; spank my kid in public or in front of strangers.&lt;sup&gt;[3]&lt;/sup&gt; Not even a flick on the hand. I don't want to embarrass him, but even more-so I'm petrified of having someone call Child Protective Services (CPS) on me because they may believe that all physical punishment points to heinous abuse back at home. I'm not ignorant to the fact that spanking has (for whatever reason) gained a bad reputation in the last decade, but I'm also not ignorant to the fact that many (most?) parents spank their kids too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in a state that allows physical punishment so legally I should have no concerns, but I still find myself stuck when my child disobeys in public and I feel forced to do nothing about it until we get home (which by then it would be too late for them to associate their bad behavior with the spanking anyway). &lt;strong&gt;Is there a way to execute corporal punishment in public without triggering unknowing and irrational fears in strangers?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1] This is not an invitation to debate as to whether or not you agree with spanking. This is asking for a best-practice guide on spanking in public. I started my question with &lt;em&gt;&quot;I believe corporal punishment to be a useful tool...&quot;&lt;/em&gt; to set the precedent for any expected answers (unlike &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5170/how-to-avoid-corporal-punishment&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;) :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[2] Note that he initiates 90% of these hugs, and I &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; force affection on him. The whole &quot;spank then hug&quot; thing was not a planned out disciplining strategy. It just sort of happened once and now it's routine. He expects it and I think it helps him to know that the issue is over and done and daddy isn't mad anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[3] When I say &quot;in public&quot; I don't mean I hop on a table and shout &quot;&lt;em&gt;TIME FOR YUR SPANKIN!!1&lt;/em&gt;&quot; and then whoop on him. I would still be as subtle and discreet as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-24T12:09:19.187" LastActivityDate="2019-09-24T12:09:19.187" Title="How to spank in public without having everyone around you assume you're a child abuser?" Tags="|discipline|public-parenting|corporal-punishment|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19158" CreationDate="2015-03-25T20:14:11.543" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I stick by the old adage &quot;Praise in public, discipline in private.&quot; My parents had no qualms about taking me outside if we were in a restaraunt, or back to the car if we were at a park or something similar. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since disciplining your child is your business and no one else's, I would take your child to the restroom or back to the car. A restroom works especially well if there's a stall you can use to be out of sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-03-25T20:14:11.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19158" CreationDate="2015-03-25T21:47:00.397" Score="27" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there a way to execute corporal punishment in public without triggering unknowing and irrational fears in strangers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, not in this day and age. I would not spank in public, but that doesn't mean I would do nothing. Removing a child to a private place for a little sit-down or a time out would be my choice. Removing them to a private place for a swat on the rear is also better than doing so publicly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't ask for what follows, but, well, you posted it, so that makes it fair game on a parenting site. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say, &quot;...stop what my child is doing, calmly tell them why I'm going to spank them, and give then give them a strike on the rear or hand that is just light enough to be uncomfortable, then reiterate my expectation and give them a hug and a kiss.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hitting/slapping/spanking are &quot;bad&quot; touches. To follow them so closely temporally with loving (good) touches &lt;em&gt;feels&lt;/em&gt; psychologically abusive to me; I'm not sure I can say why, except that the seeming hypocrisy of it it makes my skin crawl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do you think a child who has just experienced a humiliating or uncomfortable/painful (psychologically and possibly physically - I mean, that's why kids develop the desired avoidant behavior, right?) experience &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; you to hug him? Can they not be angry at you for violating them, even a little bit? If they &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; angry, do you believe you are teaching them anything good by disregarding their legitimate feelings (just as you have legitimate reasons for not wanting them to do hurtful things) by &lt;em&gt;hugging&lt;/em&gt; them? This makes no sense to me. Respecting feelings is a foundational element of building trusting relationships with others. You are likely disrespecting a child's feelings by imposing yourself on them physically so soon after hurting them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not accusing you of child abuse. But I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; asking you to consider how you would feel if the most important person in your life (say, your wife) told you you were wrong to do something, informed you that she was going to hit you for it, proceeded to hit you, told you how she expected you to behave from now on, then gave you a big hug and a kiss, expecting you to remain loving and obeisant the whole while. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all honesty, humans aren't built like that. You would be fuming! That's not a proper way to behave. If an adult did this to their spouse, it would be considered abusive behavior, because it &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; abusive behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are not miniature adults; they are infinitely more dependent on you as their parent and protector than your spouse is. It is a sacred trust, and a sacred duty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please think about your approach. If you &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; physically punish a child, please don't add insult to injury by expecting them to be grateful for a hug immediately after. If you need to 'repair a rift' with a hug or kiss, don't create one to begin with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;To Train Up a Child&lt;/em&gt; by Michael and Debi Pearl advocates &quot;a specific program of even-tempered, non-injurious corporal punishment, or 'chastisement', designed to bring about total obedience&quot; which advocates very much the same approach. It was (and is) an influential book - I saw many of my friends using the technique with their children - responsible for innumerable incidents of serious child abuse, including death.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-24T11:13:50.990" LastActivityDate="2016-03-24T11:13:50.990" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19121" CreationDate="2015-03-25T23:46:10.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my 3yo elder daughter or her 15mo younger sister do that, they get one warning (&quot;No! Don't hit!&quot;), and if they proceed to a second slap or hit the reaction is an immediate, firm &quot;No! Time-out!&quot;, picking her up and putting her in her crib for 15 minutes (or until she stops screaming in frustration and calms down, and if that transitions to naptime then so be it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the time-out is over, for our three-year-old we go in, look her in the eye, tell her we love her (which she responds to in kind with &quot;love you too&quot;) and ask her what she learned (&quot;don't hit&quot;). A hug and kiss, and back out to join the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 15mo is a little young yet for this full rigamarole, but we do still put her in her crib until she calms down, then explain to her that she can't hit other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other offenses that merit an immediate time-out include hitting the cat or dog, throwing hard things at people or animals, biting, and similar levels of physical violence against other living things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2015-03-25T23:46:10.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19158" CreationDate="2015-03-26T02:55:47.603" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will echo the sentiments of anongoodnurse and Brian Robbins:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;The best way to use corporal punishment in public is to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; use corporal punishment in public. Without taking a stance on the practice itself, it's clear that it's not typically acceptable behavior for public places.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Public places almost always have private places you can remove yourself to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the many parts of the United States, the local Department of Human Services (or equivalent agency) or Child Protection Services are required to follow up in some way on &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; report. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, imagine someone actually feels the need to call such an agency to report you. Do you believe they will accurately portray events? How do you think you'll be described to a social worker?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if that social worker is required to give you a phone call or perform an on-site follow up? Now, what if word gets out that they had to contact you? In some of the small towns I lived in, if DHS or CPS had to contact someone (even by phone), then it wasn't long until the whole town knew. Are you prepared to handle that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take government agency out of the picture, and just think about gossip. Anyone who tells someone else about the events that transpired is likely going to make you look worse than reality. Eventually, gossip and rumor could get back to your local community, or even your workplace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Treat this as any other private family event, and don't involve strangers. Since that's what you're already doing, then keep on doing that. Unfortunately, I don't think you're going to find a way to do it in public. Since you believe that peoples fears will be unknown or even &lt;em&gt;irrational&lt;/em&gt;, there's no way to reasonably handle that. That's why it's called &lt;strong&gt;ir&lt;/strong&gt;rational.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also recommend doing some research by reading actual studies (and not just articles) on the efficacy of corporal punishment on children, especially as it relates to learning outcomes and behavior. There's a &lt;em&gt;reason&lt;/em&gt; you fear the public would respond negatively to such punishment (although different areas, even within the US, will have wildly different levels of tolerance). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-03-26T02:55:47.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19163" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-26T04:54:44.973" Score="9" ViewCount="1211" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned because my son didn't do the work he's given from school. The work is tough but I think the problem might only be in one of his classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I pushed him today to do the homework he's supposed to do, and I also got very upset because I did the assignment completely and he took too much time to copy it down and he also complained that I wrote too much. It's not because I wanted to write too much, but because if I had left out some information it wouldn't have been a correct answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, I was very serious with him and I told him &quot;You're older and I cannot carry you anymore&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help him to be more independent with his homework?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14278" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-16T15:50:05.217" LastActivityDate="2018-11-16T15:50:05.217" Title="How can I help my son be more independent with his homework?" Tags="|discipline|school|independence|homework|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19158" CreationDate="2015-03-26T13:13:51.443" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't avoid getting judged for your parenting decisions.  Just look at the responses on this page.  If you &lt;em&gt;didn't&lt;/em&gt; spank, other people would judge you for trying to logically reason with a three year-old throwing a tantrum, thereby dragging out the child's misery, not to mention annoying everyone in earshot.  Here's some things to keep in mind, though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't lose your temper.  Discipline of any form should be about directing the child's behavior, not making yourself feel better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure it actually works quickly.  I only spanked one of my kids, because it helped him quickly snap out of mental states that would otherwise literally last for hours.  If spanking just makes a child cry harder, there's no point.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure the misbehavior isn't your fault.  If your child's obviously exhausted because you just made him walk a mile during his naptime, then punishing him further isn't really in order.  Adults control their temper by controlling their environment, and kids don't usually have that privilege.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take the opportunity to try out other ideas.  Spanking really only works effectively from about age 2 to 6, so you're going to have to figure something else out soon anyway.  Being out in public has lots of opportunities for rare treats or activities to be lost, that aren't an option at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People have really overused the term &quot;abuse.&quot;  I don't know where people get their ideas about how abusers behave in public, but those ideas are usually wrong.  Abuse is almost always done in private, and hidden in public.  If you want to spot an abuser in public, don't look for the parent who doesn't care who sees them spanking their kids, look for the child who immediately stops and looks terrified at a completely innocuous and lighthearted verbal correction from their parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-03-26T13:13:51.443" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19163" CreationDate="2015-03-26T13:34:16.787" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a very simple reason why you &lt;strong&gt;should not do your son's homework:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The results of homework assignments show the teachers whether what he taught was understood. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think of the following scenario: &lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teacher teaches subject A. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Homework covers subject A. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most homework is returned mainly correct. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;-&gt;Teacher assumes it to be understood and moves on to subject B. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now imagine the main part of the homework was done by parents...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Especially for younger children, failure is an important feedback, both for the teacher and the child.&lt;/em&gt; This was a major request from the teachers in our last primary school PTA meeting a few days ago, so I'm actually voicing their concerns, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have the (too much?) time and energy you can &quot;carry&quot; a child through school, but when and where are you going to stop? In highschool? College? When you are old and frail? Taking responsibility for one's actions - or non-actions - is a part of growing up, but it's a two-sided process. Think of it as learning to walk: Your son must learn to walk alone, but you as parent must let go his hand. Watch him stumble, fall, and &lt;em&gt;get up again&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For school, that means yes, sometimes an answer will be incomplete, flawed or plain wrong. But sometimes it will be surprisingly brilliant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-03-26T13:34:16.787" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19122" CreationDate="2015-03-26T13:34:44.673" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Often, people are quite good at understanding the difference between playful behaviour and someone feeling genuinely threatened or hurt. If you can see from her body-language that she is not enjoying herself, if you can hear from her voice that's she's actually distressed, then this is absolutely abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Abuse is not about how much someone hurts you, or how much someone could hurt you, or how they act or behave. It's about how someone refuses to respect boundaries, acts against someone's will and does not respond to clear signals that their behaviour is not welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, acting on seeing abuse is not easy. A lot of people don't like to start trouble in such a situation, because they are scared or because they fear they'll only make things worse. This is unfortunate, because not acting will also make things worse for those involved. In the end; abuse will not stop unless something interferes with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think you owe it to the teenage girl to at the least warn someone about what is happening, but also to yourself. You are clearly troubled by this situation, and if you do not act on it at all, you'll only remain stuck with the feeling that you should have acted on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's much better to live with the minor embarassement of bringing this to someone's attention and then realising it was just a game between them than it is to live with the doubt that you could have done something and didn't. Especially if you one day find out it really was abuse, because that news usually comes in a very ugly package.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-03-26T13:34:44.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19163" CreationDate="2015-03-26T14:47:57.917" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the points in Stephie's answer. The first step is to &lt;em&gt;stop doing his assignment for him&lt;/em&gt;: not only is it cheating, he simply isn't &lt;em&gt;learning&lt;/em&gt;. The entire purpose of schoolwork, whether at school or at home, is to educate him through practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, that does not mean completely disconnect from his homework. Especially if you have always been highly involved (either helping, or actually doing it), transition into a more independent approach slowly and watch that he's not struggling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make homework (or makeup work) a priority. He should have a designated time to complete it (e.g. finish up before dinner or play time).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep calm about it. Simply state that it is time to do an assignment, no arguing or negotiating.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Location is important. Ideally, find a place to work that is quiet, but also where you can watch to ensure he stays on task. By emphasizing an environment that will help with focus, he not only will focus better but will learn what helps him focus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay nearby as he works. It can be tricky to find the right &quot;distance&quot; for this, and it varies by age and by child (my son wants somebody sitting right there [not interacting, just sitting], my daughter prefers isolation). I would start by being nearby, and watch how he works: is he struggling? Easily distracted? Frustrated by the content? Target those specific problems.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise good &lt;em&gt;effort&lt;/em&gt; (not &quot;you are so smart&quot;, but rather &quot;you have worked hard on this&quot;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-27T11:44:01.260" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T11:44:01.260" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19168" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19169" CreationDate="2015-03-26T21:04:51.490" Score="6" ViewCount="4052" Body="&lt;p&gt;For short hospital visits or doctor's appointments, a tablet game or book can be sufficient to hold my sons interest while things are getting done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, most hospital rooms and doctor's offices have of a number of fascinating objects, screens, cables, and buttons that attract my son's interest more than any toy or screen we can bring with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was particularly difficult when we had to take my son for his brother's ultrasound. I had to hold him for most of the time (while he squirmed), and then ended up having to leave to a waiting room once we found out his sibling was going to be a brother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another instance was when my wife was very ill and dehydrated. I wanted to be in the room for the evaluation, until we found out what the plan was. Instead, we ended up spending time in a waiting room until I felt comfortable leaving my wife there (she ended up having to stay the night). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither of these are ideal solutions for me. I'd rather keep him occupied, without missing the action myself. Unfortunately, we don't have any friends in this area that could show up on short notice to watch him (we moved last fall for my schooling), and I also don't/won't employ babysitters. My wife does now have a friend that we're comfortable leaving our son with (or watching her children), but that's just been for planned-in-advance stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For full disclosure, the reason that &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; want to know right now is because my next son is due to arrive in about 6 weeks. The earliest most of friends/family could arrive would be 3-4 hours after we let them know the action has started. The last delivery was planned to be induced, so everyone knew well ahead of time when to be there. This time, it's likely going to be on nature's schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that usually, there's plenty of time between when the early parts of labor start and the need to go to the hospital, but I would like to be prepared just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I keep my son occupied in a medical room, and prevent him from playing with or getting into medical equipment and supplies?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I'm primarily interested in solution &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; of the foreseeable hospital visit for the birth, I'm not &lt;em&gt;solely&lt;/em&gt; interested in a solution for that time. After that there will be appointments for my wife and new one that I'd like to be present for, and likely when we won't have &quot;help&quot; available to watch our oldest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-26T23:26:09.843" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T18:15:05.153" Title="How to keep a toddler occupied at the hospital or doctor's office?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19168" CreationDate="2015-03-26T21:28:34.763" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you're going to have a hard time keeping a two year old occupied in the hospital room for very long if you're not 100% paying attention to him.  It's not generally recommended to bring such a young child to the labor/delivery room, for that reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with a 2 year old is the attention span is just too short.  He will remember to be good for a while, and allow you to distract him, but two or three hours is very hard to see working consistently.  That means your goal is going to be keeping him focused on different things.  You're also going to have to deal with him wanting to be with Mommy quite often, when she probably doesn't want to be holding him.  Some of these issues will almost certainly require leaving the room for a period of time, and no matter what you're going to have to pay a lot of attention to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nonetheless, there are things you can do if you don't have any other choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My three year old had to go to the ER due to some breathing trouble at night back in the fall, and he and I did manage to do alright for a couple of hours (in his own hospital room).  What we did was look at the things in the room, and talk about them.  We talked about the information on the white board (patient info).  We talked about the TV stand.  About the bed lift.  We looked for interesting things on the walls - they had some murals of fish and such (this was a children's hospital) and that led to long conversations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also brought a few cars/trains, and he played with those for a while.  They're nice because they allow him to interact with the environment - by driving his car on them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also talked extensively about what was going on, and what the rest of the stay would be like.  This helped pass time AND got him ready for what was going to come.  For your two year old this seems like a really important part: he's going to be better off if he understands that he will have to leave Mommy alone for a while.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as advice for a two year old specifically, I would try to talk about any machine he found some interest in.  If he looks at the monitors, show him what the lights mean and talk about how they're helping keep baby brother safe.  If he is interested in the bed lift, if you can, show him what it does, but definitely talk about why it's there.  Two is a bit early to really understand this, but he'll get part of it, and maybe it'll help him understand why it's important to leave it alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would definitely bring a tablet with his favorite shows/games on it (if he has any - otherwise, with some interesting ones).  Several books, for sure. He's going to want attention a lot - Mommy won't be able to provide it, and he'll be sad about that, so things that allow you to interact with him will be crucial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I would do a trial run when your wife hits 37 weeks, if the hospital will let you (mine would have, not sure how common that is).  Ask if you can go into a room for a little while, maybe 20-30 minutes.  Let him see all the stuff there now, when it's not stressful.  That way you can get a better handle on the situation now, and see what might be a potential hazard - as well as getting him more comfortable with it.  Tell him where Mommy will be, what's going to happen in the room, etc., so he's familiar with it and not as surprised when it actually happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-03-26T21:28:34.763" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19122" CreationDate="2015-03-26T23:21:49.760" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The difference is &lt;strong&gt;consent&lt;/strong&gt;.  If you don't think the girl is consenting, she likely isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be emotionally abusive even if there are no bruises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2015-03-26T23:21:49.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19173" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19174" CreationDate="2015-03-26T23:49:43.243" Score="9" ViewCount="12067" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband passed away 9 years ago. My 17-year-old son is currently in high school. I also have a 25-year-old daughter, who doesn't live with us but visits us over the weekend. I'm the one who is solely in charge of taking care of my son. He has failed a lot of courses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes he doesn't respect me. He screams so loud and I get scared, and the last time he hit me with a pillow. I try to talk with him but He doesn't. Sometimes we scream at each other too, but nothing more. I don't punish him because he ignores me as well as any punishment I may try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't want to get a job. He only wants to go to music school (music school is free and the bus is the only thing that he pays, with my money of course). He doesn't seem to care about regular school. In music school he had his first girlfriend, now the girl is his ex but they still are in touch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do now? What can I try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14285" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-05T13:00:40.037" LastActivityDate="2019-04-05T13:00:40.037" Title="How do I get my 17-year-old under control when I raise him alone and his behavior is unacceptable?" Tags="|discipline|teen|violence|single-parent|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19173" CreationDate="2015-03-27T01:11:20.823" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe you should encourage him to go to music school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't exactly fail classes, but I did just enough to pass and didn't care for schooling at all. Maybe your son, like me, is just bored of it and didn't see how the standard educational system would benefit his goals. In the end, my skipping class almost every day to pursue my interests landed me a job doing what I always wanted to do - be an animator. A field where your level of skill can easily surpass the importance of a degree. Much like music. Later I got into programming, which is what I do now, and clearly my sub-par grades didn't matter when they saw that I knew what I was doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's arguable that these days degrees matter more in regular careers, but if he's a musician at heart then it might be worth dismissing the idea that he would ever be happy in a regular career.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he is yelling because you don't want him to go to music school? Or is it that he must earn music school by doing well academically, which he refuses to do? I wonder if a change of encouragement would turn that around. Suppose you encouraged music and supported the effort. Would he be less angry? Would less angry mean less resistance? In theory, but from person to person it is hard to say what would be truly effective without really knowing the people in question and what their situations are like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All I know is what I went through. I hated school not because I was dumb. I hated it because it was slow and irrelevant. Even 20 years later I can say almost all of it after maybe 9th grade was useless to my later life. When my parents shifted their perspective and let me ditch school to draw, I excelled. I graduated a year early even. I went directly into a career animating because someone saw a cartoon I made over the years of ditching school. Now, I'm not saying you should just let him ditch school. He's too close to graduating to say it makes sense to drop out or anything. Just that it might not be so important to stress a solid 4.0 GPA if his interests in life are not geared toward places that care about a GPA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you want your son to be happy? Or do you want your son to be successful? Maybe they both happen down the same road, which may be the one he wants to follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T01:11:20.823" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19175" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19186" CreationDate="2015-03-27T01:11:40.147" Score="15" ViewCount="6296" Body="&lt;p&gt;My friend (who believes in corporal punishment delivered lovingly&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;) has cancelled two of her pediatrician appointments now because one or another of her (4) children have had bruises on their bottoms. I also know that some kids bruise more easily than others. Her pediatrician (who was also ours) does not object to corporal punishment in certain circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know of, and witness, her deep love for her kids. She just really believes in corporal punishment. I've never seen her deliver it (it's always done in private), nor have I ever seen her really out of control with her kids, though some of the stuff she comes out with is pretty wild (she told her oldest, knowing he wasn't trying his hardest in an AP math course, &quot;I don't care how hard you try. What matters is that you get an A.&quot; He got an A the next semester.) The kids don't seem to be afraid of their parents (indeed, the opposite is true; their relationship seems very positive); they seem to respect their kid's feelings (while at times differing with them, and it is clear that they believe in instilling their values - and only their values - in their kids), and the kids are very (but not robotically) polite with adults. Honestly, they are lively, intelligent, seemingly happy kids who get along beautifully. They are also all high-achievers (each of her kids are proficient in piano and are studying a second instrument of their choice.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have really mixed feelings about the fact that she's actually had to reschedule appointments to hide the fact that she does use corporal punishment. I have no mixed feelings about what the Pearls espouse; I detest it. Yet it seems to work &lt;em&gt;in this case&lt;/em&gt;, and no, her kids are not frightened automatons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know what seems abusive to me, and that involves more not recognizing and respecting the rights of people to feel and believe the way they do (obviously barring mental illness where delusions are present.) Refusing to recognize boundaries, and that kind of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any studies that &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; support the idea that all corporal punishment is abusive? Or that, at any event, not everyone suffers serious consequences from it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read some of the previous posts on corporal punishment. I'm honestly kind of looking for an intelligent discussion of the subject that avoids knee-jerk responses, so to speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this should be closed as a dupe, I can live with that quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I have a hard time thinking this isn't abuse. If her kids argue too much, she puts hot pepper sauce on their tongues. They do use time-outs as well, and other measures - like taking away privileges. But her kids seem so well behaved. I've certainly not witnessed any paddle-worthy behavior.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;As espoused by Michael and Debi Pearl&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-27T01:18:19.080" LastActivityDate="2017-11-30T17:16:10.767" Title="When is corporal punishment abuse, really?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12780" CreationDate="2015-03-27T05:40:12.883" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know it is hard and I know it is nauseating to have your kids go with a dead beat,  and as a parent we never want to see our children suffer or be hurt...but  let that parent rise to the challenge.  They will fail...but u will save them from the fantasy dad. I k ow it is harsh and I had to wait 5 years! But it was worth the wait. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My story is below...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My  kids dad I a total looser. But the courts gave him the status quo. My ex was an abuser, rapist, drunk and dead beat who never worked (I was young, dumb &amp;amp; insecure) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I filed for divorce 4-5 years ago. &#xA;My ex is an abuser, I fought for full custody, but the courts don't care. I knew that abusers never change and it scared me to let them go, but it was court ordered.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kids got thrown into a verbally abusive environment. But I didn't have enough to go back to court. And at the end of the day...you cant reason with a selfish deadbeat. 2,years later, their dad was arrested for rape and has his throat slashed by a stripper. He was even featured on the news.... The courts still wouldn't let me take my kids away from him, until he is convicted. The kids were so scared when they thought that their dad almost died...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am actually glad he didn't die... Not because I am nice, but because my kids would of had the &quot;fantasy dad&quot; as a memory. The dad the wanted , but never actually existed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, after his scar healed, he went back to his old ways. Since then he has punched my son, forced him to steel and they receive regular dysfunction and abuse. Protective services doesn't care, they did nothing. My son ran away. AndThen I finally got full custody of him.  now he only deals with his dad because he is forced to for a few hours a couple times a week.  He knows his dad is a dead beat douche and a sorry excuse of a father ... And the best part is...my son learned it and decided it on his own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has been an awful fight for these past years, always fighting in court and trying to save my kids. Watching the mental and physical abuse was the worst. And watching their disappointment is hard. they will know when they r over 18 who the good parent is and who isn't a good parent. I just keep telling them. One day he will be a dad...and does he want to treat his kids the same way... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it is tough and it is not the plan any of us had, but we can only give them guidance and to be there for them when the pieces crumble. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14290" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T05:40:12.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19177" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-27T08:16:57.417" Score="1" ViewCount="112" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 year 3 months daughter wakes up crying suddenly at night. &#xA;I try medicine for stomach pain, leg pain, check the AC (As it is hot summer) but this happens every day from last one month.&#xA;Actually before 20-25 days she was suffering from acute diarrhea and doctor said it is due to virus. She had severe rashes also at that time. Now everything is cured. this is just for extra information if this has any relation with this sleep problem. Also after that she is still having problem related to motion. some of the days she gets constipation.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14292" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T08:16:57.417" Title="My 1 year 3 months daughter wakes up crying suddenly at night." Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-03-28T13:27:16.497" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19179" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19184" CreationDate="2015-03-27T14:47:45.717" Score="8" ViewCount="897" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3.5-year-old preschooler is pretty book-smart, but is quite emotionally immature for his age.  This has led to a frequent, difficult situation for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll be acting out a bit - say, not wanting to get out of his carseat at preschool.  Mommy will start to pick him up, and in the process, hit her head on the car a bit, saying 'Ow' and clearly being a bit hurt.  Or, he'll be having a hard time going to bed, and hit or bite Mommy, and she'll again be hurt and express that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He then proceeds to laugh, quite a bit.  This is pretty frustrating, if you've just hurt yourself because he was acting out, or been hurt &lt;em&gt;by&lt;/em&gt; him, and then the reaction is laughter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dealing with this on our side we largely understand; it's hard to actually &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt;, mind you, but we know what we need to do.  Take a time out, go somewhere else, have the other parent take over, whatever to get us out of the situation so we don't get any more angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, how do we help him deal with this?  We've tried explaining to him that he's hurt us or we're hurt, and talking about how he'd feel.  When he's entirely calm he understands this.  But it clearly doesn't carry through when he's not entirely calm - even when he's mostly calm, just acting like a normal three year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing that seems to work (to get him to stop laughing and understand it's serious) is yelling at him, which isn't what we want to do (and not something we do on purpose - just when we lose control).  Then, he cries and is quite shocked (presumably as we very rarely yell), and apologizes; so he clearly knows what's going on, but we can't find a better way to get through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the expectation of a 3-4 year old in terms of empathy, here?  Is it unfair for us to expect him to show empathy when he's not 100% calm?  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sesamestreet.org/parents/topics/getalong/getalong01&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This page&lt;/a&gt; seems to suggest at 2-3 they should understand happy/sad, and certainly at times he does, but at more important times he doesn't seem to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-10T12:18:37.390" LastActivityDate="2019-04-10T12:18:37.390" Title="How can I help my preschooler develop empathy?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|empathy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19175" CreationDate="2015-03-27T17:23:54.550" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would seem that the answer to your question is.. it depends. There have been studies done, in fact a study on studies.. a meta-study (how fitting for our current environment) on corporal punishment as an effective means of discipline. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/06/spanking.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This link&lt;/a&gt; is to the summary of the meta-study. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other (minimal) research I've done shows that corporal punishment in and of itself is not abuse. I can &lt;em&gt;become&lt;/em&gt; abuse. The public outcry comes when someone sees an angry parent shouting at their child, grabbing them by the arm, and yanking them along somewhere to receive their discipline. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Corporal punishment should be used only in moderation, if the child is putting themselves or others in danger for instance. But the parent can &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;NOT&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; let their emotions rule the situation. When a parent allows fear and anxiety to override their rational brain, the hand gets heavier on the behind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for the question! This drove me to something other than watching silly cat videos on the internet during my lunch hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T17:23:54.550" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19175" CreationDate="2015-03-27T18:01:46.730" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in the UK that would be an assault punishable with up to 5 years in jail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Britain, mild smacking is permitted under a &amp;quot;reasonable chastisement'' defence against common assault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 2004 Children’s Act clarified the defence by making any hitting that causes &lt;strong&gt;bruising&lt;/strong&gt;, swelling, cuts, grazes or scratches &lt;strong&gt;punishable with up to five years in jail&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/children/8666066/Smacking-children-the-law.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Smacking children: the law&lt;/a&gt;, The Telegraph, 28 Jul 2011 (emphasis mine)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here it &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;definitely would&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; be considered abuse, legally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, the phrase &amp;quot;up to 5 years in jail&amp;quot; is a little bit misleading though, in that the punishment for a one-off instance of assault causing bruising would be very unlikely to be as high as 5 years in custody.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Under the '&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/sentencing_manual/cruelty_to_a_child/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Cruelty to a Child&lt;/a&gt;' sentencing guidelines, it seems like it would probably come into this section:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nature of failure &amp;amp; harm:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(i) Short term neglect or ill-treatment. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;(ii) Single incident of short-term abandonment.  &lt;br&gt;&#xA;(iii) Failure to protect a child from any of the above.  &lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting point: 12 weeks custody  &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Sentencing range: Community Order (LOW) - 26 weeks custody&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where sentencing options remain open, the court should take into account the impact that a custodial sentence for the offender might have on the victim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chastisement causing injury neither intended nor foreseen, and not even reasonably foreseeable - a discharge might be appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some cases in which the degree of harm might be considered similar:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;R v S [2009] 1 Cr.App.R.(S.) 40 &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Appellant cohabited with the mother of girl aged five.  Harsh discipline, sent to her room for long periods, &lt;strong&gt;put masking tape over her mouth, no other violence&lt;/strong&gt;.  Bewildered man with inadequate parenting skills and mitigating features.  Guilty pleas.  Sentence reduced to a community order with supervision and a good parenting course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;R v Z [2009] 2 Cr.App.R.(S.) 32 &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Appellant, a devout Shia Muslim, convicted on two counts of cruelty to his sons aged under 16.  He &lt;strong&gt;allowed them to use an instrument to flagellate themselves&lt;/strong&gt;, despite disapproval of the mosque's elders.  Sentence of 26 weeks' imprisonment suspended for 12 months upheld.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The United Nations and the European Union criticised the UK for allowing children to be assaulted by their parents at all (even when it doesn't leave a mark other than temporary reddening and so the legal defence of 'reasonable chastisement' is available to the parent):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Britain is one of only five EU countries that have not introduced a ban on smacking. In 2008, the United Nations criticised Britain over the issue while last year the deputy head of the Council of Europe said the country needed to turn away from physical chastisement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know the US law on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The United Nations takes the position that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of discipline, the Convention does not specify what forms of punishment parents should&#xA;use. However any form of discipline involving violence is unacceptable. There are ways to discipline&#xA;children that are effective in helping children learn about family and social expectations for their behaviour&#xA;– ones that are non-violent, are appropriate to the child's level of development and take the best interests&#xA;of the child into consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.unicef.org/crc/files/Rights_overview.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;FACT SHEET: A summary of the rights under the Convention&#xA;on the Rights of the Child&lt;/a&gt;, UNICEF&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but the USA is one of two countries that are not signatories to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (the other country is South Sudan).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the more general issue, one could ask whether, if hitting one's children hard enough to leave bruises was perfectly ok, one would need to hide it from the children's doctor. Generally speaking I'd take the whole 'hiding from the doctor injuries caused to the children by the parents' as a really big danger sign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-28T15:00:19.197" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19175" CreationDate="2015-03-27T19:30:52.537" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, let me say I'm not a parent, nor do I plan to be one anytime soon. But as a child of two people, one of whom (Mother) applies corporal punishment and the other of whom (Father) does not apply it, I think I am at least slightly qualified to speak (write?) on the subject. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom spanks my sisters (as she did me) when they break serious rules (i.e. by being disrespectful, hurting animals/people, disobeying, etc.). She is never angry (that would be abuse and would only make us angrier), but she is calm and firm. And guess what? Yes, we dislike it, but after it is over we genuinely realize that what we did was wrong, and apologize wholeheartedly. Mom is the kind of person who lives for her kids; she spent every waking (and sleeping) moment with me when I was younger, and now with all three of us, homeschooling us and taking us places even though she cannot drive, and overcoming her bad memory to teach us things that would be useful; she has given us everything we could want or need--love, a home, pets, games. (She would however only give us a pet when we had researched its needs and took responsibility for its care.) She's even learning to bike now, at 43 years old, so that she can go places with us.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dad, on the other hand, is more reserved. He works all day and watches TV at night, and he thinks since we're girls he shouldn't use corporal punishment with us (he only does that when he completely loses his temper, which is seldom). Instead, he resorts to scolding and taking away privileges. He doesn't &quot;hit&quot; us. And guess which of our parents all three of us would choose in a heartbeat, if we had to choose between them?...Mom! Because taking away privileges just makes us angry. We feel like the kid who had his toy taken away by a bigger kid, and we plot ways to get back our own. On the other hand, a loving smacking...yes, it's painful and unpleasant, but if Mom is calm, even through our temporarily muddled thoughts we can see that she truly cares and is trying to teach us what is best for us. After a spanking, I feel calm in a way, and truly sorry for what I did; after having a privilege taken away, I begin to plot how to get away with what I did the next time. That's sad, but it's what my sisters and I do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just my two cents :) I agree with you, Mr. Robbins, except that I must say that taking away privileges, yelling, scolding, etc. are counterproductive. They make a child angry and though they may force outward compliance, the kid will always be plotting how to get away with it next time without getting caught/punished. On the other hand, a loving but firm spanking, correctly applied, makes a child see what they did wrong and genuinely want to fix it. So, in answer to the original question, I would say that corporal punishment that is &lt;strong&gt;calmly and firmly&lt;/strong&gt; administrated is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; abuse, but that some other punishments could be seen as such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14286" LastEditorUserId="14286" LastEditDate="2015-03-27T19:37:26.567" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T19:37:26.567" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12420" CreationDate="2015-03-27T20:02:33.547" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter just turned 8 and does the same thing.  The problem is that she is a perfectionist and wants to be excellent at everything she does.  Guess what?  She wasn't awesome the first time she tried the harmonica.  Or skiing.  Or Snowboarding.  Or skating.  Or judo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And every time we sit and I tell her the same thing when she says, &quot;I'm not good.&quot;  I say something like...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;No, you're not.  You're pretty awful, actually.  But that's okay because nobody is good at something the first time they try.  Try again or leave it for now and try again later.  With some time and practice, you'll get better.  You still won't be good, but you'll be better than you are now.  Keep practicing and eventually you will be good.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some time later we reflect on her progress, talk about how she felt when she started, and how well she's doing now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These days by daughter skis like a bat out of hell.  Snowboards blue runs (this is her first year).  Plays ringette.  Has a yellow belt in judo.  And can manage Twinkle Twinkle on the harmonica.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's frustrating (for both of us) every time but she keeps trying.  My little girl rocks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T20:02:33.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19179" CreationDate="2015-03-27T20:09:14.397" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're correct that your son &quot;should&quot; have more empathy at this age, certainly not in all situations, but these are basic and easily comprehensible by a 3.5 year old, &lt;em&gt;especially maternal distress&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Recent developments in research cast doubt on early conceptions of young children as primarily egocentric and incurring of others’ needs. Studies reviewed indicate a broad range of social competencies children bring to their interpersonal relationships. &lt;em&gt;As early as 2 years of age&lt;/em&gt;, they show (a) the cognitive capacity to interpret, in simple ways, the physical and psychological states of others, (b) the emotional capacity to experience, affectively, the state of others, and (c) the behavioral repertoire that permits the possibility of attempts to alleviate discomfort in others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, many researchers differentiate between &lt;em&gt;empathy&lt;/em&gt; (an &lt;em&gt;affective&lt;/em&gt; response, i.e. feeling some measure of what the other person is feeling), &lt;em&gt;sympathy&lt;/em&gt; (understanding but not necessarily feeling someone else’s emotional state), and &lt;em&gt;personal distress&lt;/em&gt; (the aversion one feels - e.g. anxiety or discomfort - on understanding another’s feelings). In this model, personal distress from empathetic &lt;strong&gt;overarousal&lt;/strong&gt; leads one to a self- rather than to an other- (or moral) orientation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some researchers found a link between aggressive behavior and empathetic overarousal. The reading is interesting. Did you perhaps notice more responsiveness earlier that has let off somewhat? Overarousal may be an issue here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can wait and see. Time takes care of so many parenting concerns, it's amazing that we spent as much energy worrying as we have in retrospect. This is one option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would work on it. From the studies I looked at, empathy, even at 4 years, is a positive predictor of problems at 6 and 8 years, and those, in turn... etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your own link suggested, a child's ability to relate emotionally depends to some degree on him emotional vocabulary. There are age-appropriate lists of feeling words available on the internet. Use these words often, whenever they apply. If you see a child fall and cry, identify what that child might be feeling - hurt, sad; if you or your child is feeling something, help him put it into words and reward him with praise when he works it out correctly. (&quot;That's right! you saw that she is sad.&quot; &quot;That's right, he looks angry. Do you ever feel angry? I do, too.&quot;)  If he responds with a sympathetic act, reward his choice of behaviors. Helping around the house when you are busy, helping to prepare a meal, helping to soothe someone or something (a dog? - they're good for the microbiome as well!) are all praise-worthy behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read stories where the character experiences both positive and negative emotions, and point your son to/ask your son to identify the emotions. Keep it a bit lighter if you see that he is feeling too sad. (My son so upset with me and the book when Boxer died in &lt;em&gt;Animal Farm&lt;/em&gt; that he started to cry and stormed out of the room. Oops... I didn't see that one coming. He was old enough to understand that it was a metaphor for communism, but the injustice was just too much.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned that he has a stuffed puppy. You can make the puppy a character in imaginary adventures and let him soothe the puppy, or celebrate/laugh with, be sad with/for as well (or, at least, praise his actions when he makes attempts in those directions.) This should help him when these situations come up spontaneously in family members and friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The investment is important. Studies have linked even academics to emotional knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take heart, though. It is never too late to improve empathy in children, as the Canadian school program &lt;em&gt;Roots of Empathy&lt;/em&gt; shows. They have turned older children around and changed lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: I didn't address an important part of your question. Hitting/biting/causing pain should never be tolerated, and should have immediate consequences (I know you favor reason, but that behavior is clearly not reasonable). As to his laughter afterwards, for now I would (completely) ignore it (thought it would hurt my feelings, too), as if it weren't happening. If it doesn't change in time, I'd address it more directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Just a story: My eldest thought head butting was hilarious at about 30 months. No amount of kind words and explanations made any difference - until he broke my nose. Luckily at first, I was in too much pain to cry out or say anything. Then the tears (involuntary) and the blood began to flow. I said, very matter-of-factly, &quot;Look! You broke Mommy's nose&quot; and waited a minute before getting something to sop up the blood. I wasn't angry. I wasn't upset. I just let him witness calmly the cause and effect. He doesn't remember it, but at least the head butting stopped!&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF00991639#page-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The origins of empathic concern&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=PTVHAQAAQBAJ&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PA184&amp;amp;dq=The+origins+of+empathic+prosocial+children&amp;amp;ots=meqkg-cn24&amp;amp;sig=hwYw6giFvVz1MvHt6eml5J0bhEg#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=The%20origins%20of%20empathic%20prosocial%20children&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Handbook of Moral Development Chap. 9&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- Interesting read&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pss.sagepub.com/content/12/1/18.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Emotion Knowledge as a Predictor of Social Behavior and Academic Competence in Children at Risk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Google scholar keywords: &lt;em&gt;empathy&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;child&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;prosocial&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;social competence&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;emotional knowledge&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-27T22:22:40.360" LastActivityDate="2015-03-27T22:22:40.360" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19173" CreationDate="2015-03-27T20:50:11.670" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's all about control.  He yells because it works, or at least because there are no consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's your house.  He's a guest, albeit an important one.  You make the rules.  He follows them or leaves.  You may not be able to physically control him but that's not the kind of control you want anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here's my advice...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he yells, tell him in a normal voice that is not acceptable and that when he wants to talk reasonable to come find you, then &lt;em&gt;walk away&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he gets physical, step up and put your face right in his (even if it means looking up) and quietly explain that such is absolutely not acceptable and will not be tolerated &quot;in &lt;strong&gt;my&lt;/strong&gt; house&quot;.  Tell him that when he wants to talk reasonable to come find you, then &lt;em&gt;walk away&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never, &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt;, raise your voice (though I believe a loud injection is acceptable to get their attention before immediately reverting to a normal tone -- &quot;HEY! I need you to...&quot;).  Never exhibit any behavior yourself that you do not want to see in him.  You're the adult and whether he knows it or not, he will follow your lead with regard to what is acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he physically abuses you, &lt;strong&gt;change the locks&lt;/strong&gt;.  &lt;em&gt;(Update: This is an expression to highlight that you need to do&lt;/em&gt; something, &lt;em&gt;legal of course, to put a stop to it.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the rest is small stuff.  He's almost an adult so though you may have some really good advice that he doesn't want to hear, you can't actually force him to be any particular way or do any particular thing.  Just go with it.  All you can do is refuse to help him with anything you are seriously against.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's too late to mould him but if he respects you (and you'll have to stand up to him to get this) then he &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; just listen to you.  Maybe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that you may have to make significant changes in your behavior to affect his, it would be best to sit down quietly with him -- some time far from any altercation and when there are no distractions -- and explain that things have been bad.  Explain how you'll be changing.  Explain how you expect him to change.  Explain the new rules.  Explain what is allowed and what is not.  And explain the consequences.  It would be best if you can get him involved in a &lt;em&gt;discussion&lt;/em&gt; about all this so that he feels involved.  &lt;em&gt;No contribution, not commitment.&lt;/em&gt;  But if he won't cooperate, then you'll have to define it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And lastly, when it comes to discussions about what he's going to do after high school, may I recommend Covey's habit #4: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;  This isn't part of the original question but something from the comments and was too big for me to reply as a comment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are 17 years of history and love between you and your son.  Unless he's already lost, he's not going to attack his mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Step into his personal space and look him right in the eye.  This takes control and will make him uneasy.  Do not make any actual physical contact.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say in a calm, normal voice something like, &quot;Hitting me like that in order to make your argument will not be tolerated.&quot;  With no actual verbal or physical threat, there's nothing to provoke him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Step back.  This quickly removes the confrontation and prevents escalation.  If he says anything (&quot;Whatcha gonna do about it?&quot;) just ignore him.  Don't let him take control.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say, &quot;When you want to talk reasonably, come find me.&quot;  You set the terms but are open to him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Walk away &lt;em&gt;still in control&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the line between rough-housing and abusive behavior is not clear.  Choose your words appropriate to the infraction but never let it go unaddressed or it will escalate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he does come talk to you later and asks what you would do, you need to tell him calmly, matter-of-factly, and &lt;em&gt;truthfully&lt;/em&gt; something like, &quot;Using physical force on someone because they argue with you is not appropriate.  It's actually a form of physical abuse.  What will I do?  I'll talk with you like this but if it continues or goes too far, I'll call the police and have you removed from my house.&quot;  Pause.  &quot;I love you more than life itself and it will break my heart to do so, but there are some lines that must not be crossed.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note the use of the world &quot;will&quot; and not &quot;would&quot;.  You have to mean it.  It must be the truth.  Both you and he must believe it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2015-04-01T15:20:50.163" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T15:20:50.163" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19175" CreationDate="2015-03-27T21:46:22.083" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;To keep this very simple:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Corporal punishment, by definition (in the US), is not abuse. Corporal punishment is the intentional infliction of physical punishment that may cause pain or discomfort, but &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; injury or impairment, upon an individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Physical or mental child abuse, on the other hand, inflicts injury, impairment, or lasting harm upon a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think most US states will use these definitions, or something similar, in their laws. I wouldn't be surprised if the same is true in other countries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, then, really, corporal punishment is &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; child abuse. The two are mutually exclusive. &lt;strong&gt;As soon as corporal punishment becomes violent and harmful it is no longer corporal punishment at all.&lt;/strong&gt; However, child abuse may happen under the guise of corporal punishment. Welts and bruises themselves aren't necessarily child abuse, depending on the local laws. In Iowa, for instance, the Department of Human Services court ruled in Hildreth v. Dept. of Human Services:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The definition of physical injury contained in Iowa Administrative Code rule 441-175.1 is expressed in terms of a necessary healing process of bodily tissue so as to be restored to a sound and healthy condition. Implicit in the definition of &amp;quot;physical injury&amp;quot; is a requirement that an external force has initially placed the bodily tissue in an unsound or unhealthy condition. Consequently, we cannot accept the conclusion in the agency handbook that any reddening of the skin lasting for twenty-four hours is a physical injury per se. We believe, rather, that welts, bruises, or similar markings are not physical injuries per se but may be and frequently are evidence from which the existence of a physical injury can be found.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This ruling was not to say that such injuries aren't abuse, but that sometimes such injuries can happen accidentally when using corporal punishment. For instance, underestimating the amount of force applied when delivering the punishment. The court essentially ruled that such markings must be intentional, or reasonably be expected based on the punishment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The definition of &amp;quot;nonaccidental physical injury&amp;quot; is, by agency rule, as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An injury which was a natural and probable result of a caretaker's actions which the caretaker could have reasonably foreseen, or which a reasonable person could have foreseen in similar circumstances, or which resulted from an act administered for the specific purpose of causing an injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, we see that parental &lt;em&gt;intent&lt;/em&gt; is a measure of abuse. If bruises were caused once from a spanking, then that parent is now reasonably aware that another spanking or paddling of the same force will cause bruises again. This, in Iowa, would likely be construed as abuse if investigated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another interesting qualifier of abuse comes up in Iowa law:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt; 2.  &quot;Child abuse&quot; or &quot;abuse&quot; means:&#xA;         a.  Any nonaccidental physical injury, or injury which is at&#xA;      variance with the history given of it, suffered by a child as the&#xA;      result of the acts or omissions of a person responsible for the care&#xA;      of the child.&lt;/pre&gt; &#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would point out here is &amp;quot;injury which is at with the history given of it&amp;quot;. This seems to indicate that hiding the nature of the injury is relevant to the qualification as abuse. Thus, refusing to reveal the injuries, or covering them up, may be used as evidence against a guardian in claim of child abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The studies to which I have access to also seem to indicate that corporal punishment is one of the biggest precursors to physical child abuse. Many of these studies and articles have been publish in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/journal/01452134&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Child Abuse and Neglect: The International Journal&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When corporal punishment is used by the parent, it may escalate to child abuse by definition, but not necessarily in the eyes of the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the articles in the the aforementioned journal also saw a correlation between a parent's belief in the value of corporal punishment and a rise in the potential for child abuse (Crouch &amp;amp; Behl, 2001).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Results: Level of parenting stress was positively associated with physical child abuse potential. As expected, the interaction of parenting stress and belief in the value of corporal punishment was significant. Level of parenting stress was positively associated with physical child abuse potential among parents who reported high levels of belief in the value of corporal punishment. In contrast, level of parenting stress was not associated with physical child abuse potential among parents who reported low belief in the value of corporal punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this was a very small study (31 qualified participants).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, the line between corporal punishment and abuse will likely need to be evaluated by professionals, and most laws likely reflect as much. Simple observations of borderline punishments are not sufficient to determine abuse. Evaluations of the children, the parents, and the home are often necessary. Physical examinations, psychological evaluations, and forensic interviews are some the tools used to make this determination. Experts on these matters are able to make connections that untrained observers can not, or dismiss perceived connections that don't objectively exist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;Crouch, Julie L., and Leah E. Behl. &amp;quot;Relationships among Parental Beliefs in Corporal Punishment, Reported Stress, and Physical Child Abuse Potential.&amp;quot; &lt;em&gt;Child Abuse &amp;amp; Neglect: The International Journal&lt;/em&gt; 25.3 (2001): 413-19. &lt;em&gt;Relationships among Parental Beliefs in Corporal Punishment, Reported Stress, and Physical Child Abuse Potential.&lt;/em&gt; Child Abuse &amp;amp; Neglect, 1 Mar. 2001. Web. 27 Mar. 2015.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T02:18:39.677" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19187" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-28T00:07:41.117" Score="11" ViewCount="1698" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Sometimes my kids get along great, but like most sometimes they clash. I've been trying to work on substitutions to my usual model of rewards and punishments for many of my conventional parenting techniques. This one seems to exhaust my fuse faster than most. It is during those times that my rational brain caves in favor of a quick fix. Usually, I justify this as getting me back to whatever task &lt;em&gt;I'm&lt;/em&gt; doing. When there is no conspicuous cause, and I need to get back to the task at hand; the frequency seems to increase exemplifying my technique's failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried for these situations to be more than negligent on my part. Sometimes, I will give them a task to share, but I also believe they should have idle time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that kids have good days and bad, and also that some of this may be a request for attention. I'm really looking to step my game up with some new ideas. Here are some techniques I use, that I'd like to transcend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Timeout (punishment) - This is a quick way to get some separation, and (if I can quickly determine the culprit) get the child to spend some time reflecting on their actions. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Privilege suspension (punishment) - This is very hit and miss. I typically have better luck with other options.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lecture (punishment?...) - I'll try to talk through the situation, listen to sides, pick a winner, mansplain things until their eyes glaze over. This is the most dubious for me as I tend to struggle with bloviating. I'm coming from a place of truth-seeking, and validation. I want them to feel listened to, and understood, but then I generally pick all the low hanging fruit of lesson opportunity. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer a reward - I understand that doing this can create a dependency I don't want to sustain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Placating (distraction) - Give them something else to do, maybe change their environment, perhaps split them up, or call in spousal reinforcement. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Crazy exercises (distraction/punishment) - For instance; write 3 nice things you like about your sibling.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe I'm too impatient for natural consequences, or simply unfamiliar inside the experience of my own up upbringing. After a while it starts to feel like the attention alone seems to be both punishment, and reward. I recently started to lecture them on this causal relationship and the resultant wasted time impacting the whole family. It sure would be nice if knocking their heads together worked as well as it should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13739" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-24T14:20:46.957" LastActivityDate="2019-07-24T15:39:17.177" Title="When my kids don't get along; what are some options besides punishment that can be effective beyond 5 minutes?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|siblings|conflict|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19188" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-28T03:46:14.490" Score="10" ViewCount="499" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes my infant falls asleep in my arms and I need to transfer him to a more permanent position. When I try to lay him down in his crib, he wakes up and cries. Is there a good way to make the transfer without waking the little one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14299" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T12:19:11.697" Title="Transferring a sleeping infant from my arms to his bed" Tags="|infant|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-04-01T15:37:10.247" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19188" CreationDate="2015-03-28T06:59:44.480" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Slowly and carefully.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my kids the usual points were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Too soon.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When the baby is not fully asleep, they tend to wake up. Wait for the &quot;ragdoll state&quot;, limp arms and legs, deeper breathing and often mouth slightly open.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Moro reflex.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The moro reflex is triggered when the baby has a sensation of &quot;falling&quot;, this happens when you place the baby backwards into the crib. Instead lower it slowly sideways to the mattress, then carefully roll her onto her back. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sudden coolness or &quot;looseness&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Your arms are warm, the crib is cool, some babies wake up due to temperature change. So when you have placed him sideways in the crib, keep your hand/arm on his back for a bit before rolling him backwards. Let him feel &quot;held&quot;, even in the crib.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-03-28T06:59:44.480" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19175" CreationDate="2015-03-28T14:48:13.197" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't believe anyone still thinks it is acceptable to hit children.  Subjecting children to violence is clearly wrong and is always abuse.  Hitting your child is as abusive as hitting your spouse -- perhaps worse because a child has less ability to escape the violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beating children is something that mostly comes from extremist Christian sects.  A small number of those sects also promote violence against women:-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/21/christian-domestic-discipline-spanking-jesus-marriage_n_3479646.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/21/christian-domestic-discipline-spanking-jesus-marriage_n_3479646.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When a follower of the Christian Domestic Discipline movement decides&#xA;  what to hit his God-fearing wife with, research is important. A&#xA;  hairbrush, for example, is &quot;excellent for achieving the desired sting&quot;&#xA;  but can break easily. Alternatively, a ping pong paddle is quiet and&#xA;  sturdy but may not sting as much as is required to get the message&#xA;  across.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;These bits of information are among the tips and tricks detailed in&#xA;  the Beginning Domestic Discipline's &quot;Beginner's Packet,&quot; a 54-page&#xA;  document that lays out the basic principles and practices of CDD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Violence against children is illegal in many countries, and it's time for right thinking Americans to stand against violence to children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The UN Convetion of the Rights of the Child is clear:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Article 19&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;States Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social and educational measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or exploitation, including sexual abuse, while in the care of parent(s), legal guardian(s) or any other person who has the care of the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Such protective measures should, as appropriate, include effective procedures for the establishment of social programmes to provide necessary support for the child and for those who have the care of the child, as well as for other forms of prevention and for identification, reporting, referral, investigation, treatment and follow-up of instances of child maltreatment described heretofore, and, as appropriate, for judicial involvement. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All forms of violence are wrong; corporal punishment is by definition violent; corporal punishment is thus a violation of the child's human rights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The US tends not to ratify these conventions (The US and Sudan are the only countries to not ratify this convention) but as legal rulings posted in other answers shows the US legal system doesn't view violence against children as violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-03-31T07:59:24.993" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T07:59:24.993" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19191" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-28T17:18:55.187" Score="3" ViewCount="202" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the distinct stages or landmarks or milestones in speech in language development, in the order they're &lt;em&gt;typically&lt;/em&gt; reached, and why is it that order?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, I know that certain types of phonemes are learned at different times. Vowels are usually learned early, and different types of consonants are learned later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well as phonetic mastery, there is also grammatical mastery. An example is expressed in: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11559/i-am-vs-my-is-when-do-children-develop-this-bit-of-language&quot;&gt;I am vs my is - when do children develop this bit of language?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm asking primarily about English pronunciation and grammar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please feel comfortable using technical terms, such as those found in &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Articulatory_phonetics&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Articulatory Phonetics&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occlusive&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Occlusives&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manner_of_articulation&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Manners of Articulation&lt;/a&gt; and linguistic/grammatical terminology. I have access to resources about these areas of interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm particularly interested in the &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; of these developmental stages. Phoneme acquisition charts are easily found, but they don't discuss why certain phonemes are learned before others. A list of sounds/grammar rules and comparative ages isn't as useful to me as understanding the physiological or cognitive underpinnings of those milestones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age range can be assumed to be from start of speech until &quot;mastery&quot; of all landmarks. I'm not just interested in a single age, but the full breadth of development. (Unfortunately, I have to be this broad. Since I don't &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; the individual stages, I can't right now ask about them individually).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If necessary, I can separate phonemes from grammar for two separate questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T06:27:49.010" Title="What are the stages of child speech and language development?" Tags="|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19192" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-28T21:57:11.287" Score="4" ViewCount="1751" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a daughter who will be starting high school next year. Because the public schools in our area are &lt;em&gt;terrible&lt;/em&gt;, and because I want to try to get her to become an engineer (I'm a civil engineer/architect), I'm enrolling her in a private school for the coming school year. All of our family loves it and we feel that it's the perfect choice (she got a good scholarship, which helps too). The only thing that concerns me is the dress code.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a rather &amp;quot;preppy&amp;quot; school, and while there isn't a uniform, there is a strict dress code (for example, boys wear dress or chino pants and a collared, button-up shirt). What concerns me is that this dress code &lt;em&gt;requires&lt;/em&gt; that girls wear a skirt, skorts, or something similar, along with a collared top or a modest sweater. Here's the relevant lines from the dress code passage that they sent us as part of admission materials:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Appropriate bottoms include skirts, skorts and collared dresses, all of knee length and worn at the waist line (jeans are appropriate only on approved &amp;quot;out of dress code&amp;quot; days)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tops are to be collared casual or dress shirts including polo shirts, blouses and turtlenecks. Shirts which are made to be tucked in shall be worn tucked in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is that my daughter is 14, and having her wear a skirt every day to class makes me a little nervous, especially because it's a co-ed school and there are bound to be boys there with sex on the mind, and I don't want my daughter to be the target. What can I do to be sure that she is prepared? I know that every girl will be dressed similarly to how she will be dressed (&lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; knee-length skirt and &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; blouse is okay, within limits; it is not a uniform), and the boys will be dressed nicely as well, but this does concern me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to be clear, I have no objections with a skirt being a part of the dress code; after all, one of the points of a dress code is to teach students how to dress in a professional environment. I just want to make sure that my daughter will be okay and will be able to meet the dress code while at the same time not being made a target by overzealous boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone have any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14303" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T16:27:20.953" Title="Daughter and school dress code" Tags="|school|age-appropriate|girls|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19187" CreationDate="2015-03-29T02:07:06.887" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never punished my kids for not getting along but I have gotten angry with one or another for improper behavior (e.g. over-reacting, escalating too far, endless teasing just for the fun the torture, etc.).  I just explain, though, in a calm and normal voice &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; the behavior is incorrect.  In general, I only break in if one is obviously hurt or really upset and the other doesn't yield.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they come to me, I pick from:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You two work it out.  Don't bother me unless there is blood.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you really want &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; to work it out?  I promise that &lt;strong&gt;both&lt;/strong&gt; of you will dislike the result.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ah, an easy fix!  Here's some extra chores for both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Why don't you both go enjoy your own rooms for a half-hour.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I make sure that they're always &lt;strong&gt;both&lt;/strong&gt; better off working things out between themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I developed this when I watched a younger child irritate the older until the older strikes out and then the younger go to a parent and complain that &quot;he hit me&quot; and get the older in trouble...  which was the plan from the beginning.  (Which is why I don't &lt;em&gt;punish&lt;/em&gt; for not getting along.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2015-03-29T02:32:27.310" LastActivityDate="2015-03-29T02:32:27.310" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19179" CreationDate="2015-03-29T04:35:20.713" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember the day my dad taught me empathy. I'm still very bad at connecting with how other people perceive my actions and so forth. When I was old enough to swim (8 maybe?) I did something mean, possibly kick my dad, and he told me I was in trouble and couldn't leave the pool until I apologized. I said sorry, but he didn't buy it so forced me to stay until I could tell him why I was sorry. My empathyless response was if I didn't say sorry I would get in trouble. After forever my dad told me I was supposed to be feel bad for hurting him, and that hurting him was wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you child is acting wrong and has no remorse you should punish him. At 3 this should be a small punishment, like timeout for 3 minutes or something. Then after the punishment ask him why it was wrong to do whatever he did. If he can't come up with the answer after a while, tell him so he will learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14161" LastActivityDate="2015-03-29T04:35:20.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19195" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-29T18:53:20.280" Score="1" ViewCount="451" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yet another sleep-related question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My baby is five weeks old. He sleeps like a champ at night - he'll go down around 10 or 11 pm, wake up for a feeding or two (and sometimes we even have to wake him), and will usually be up again around 6 or 7 am. Recently we've had success in putting him back to bed if he gets his last feed no later than by 6 am (starting time), and then he'll sleep until around 8 am or 8:30. We'll either put him down awake or drowsy or asleep, depending on the state he's in - it doesn't seem to matter too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Napping during day, however, is a complete other business. Starting in his second week, he'd simply refuse to go to sleep. If we attempt to put him to bed, he'll cry hysterically until we take him out of bed again; shushing and rocking and what have you not won't help. He will (mostly) sleep when carried around in a baby carrier or in his pram. This means that he'll get about 8-12 hours of sleep per day at most. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would expect him to be overtired; but actually, he seems quite happy to be awake, and he's not fussy or cranky unless we attempt to put him to bed. He also has no problem at all staying awake for long stretches of time like an eight hour stretch. I've tried swaddling, to no avail (he enjoys sleeping with his arms above his shoulders, so I can see why would hate swaddling); I've asked the local children's services, who basically responded by saying 'well, if he's thriving and seems to be happy, then there's no reason to worry' - but I can't imagine that sleeping this little is healthy for him, and I also worry what this means for his future sleeping habits (and honestly, I could use a break as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We fed him on demand within 3 - 4 hours until last week; we then decided to introduce a fixed three hour schedule. We noticed that after three hours he isn't really hungry enough, so we just started stretching that to a four hour schedule. He seems to do fine health-wise - he was born with 3 kg, and gained 1.2 kg within four weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas? Anything that I'm missing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2015-03-29T21:57:27.833" Title="My newborn won't sleep" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19195" CreationDate="2015-03-29T21:57:27.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's not cranky, it does &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; sound to me like he's not getting enough sleep, and if he's sleeping soundly at night, count your blessings. There is a lot of variety of needs among babies, and in this case, it might make sense to accept the baby's preference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry you're not getting the daytime break you undoubtedly deserve, but it seems to me that good nighttime sleeping habits are more important, and forcing more daytime sleep on a baby that doesn't truly need it risks disrupting that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One measure you could possibly try is a bit of extra stimulation, maybe that would tire him out a little more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10122" LastActivityDate="2015-03-29T21:57:27.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19173" CreationDate="2015-03-30T01:00:48.983" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a difficult situation and a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of what you do depends on what you're willing to put up with. I'm going to assume the yelling and fighting is really negatively affecting your life in an unacceptable manner. It would mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal belief is that you should never give your child anything because they frighten you into it or will make you miserable if you don't. He won't improve his grades or keep a job by demands or shouting at his teachers or boss, ever. It's not an essential life skill, whereas learning self-control is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you love him, and denying him at this tender age may feel like an unacceptable alternative. It's not. To cave in to bullying will just lead to more bullying. It has to stop. What you must decide is &lt;em&gt;how you can best help him get and keep his life on the right track from here on in&lt;/em&gt;. This is something that will help the both of you. I would strongly recommend a contract in this situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plan ahead. Before you sit down with him, decide on whether or not you want to support him if he is neither doing well in school nor working, if so, how much money (besides food and board) are you willing to give him? Are you willing to &lt;s&gt;bribe&lt;/s&gt; reward him to help him succeed? This &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; an option, as unsavory as some may find it. If you are, decide what is an acceptable and appropriate &lt;s&gt;bribe&lt;/s&gt; reward. This can be one of the items the two of you negotiate. It can be paying for music school, or a used car, a living allotment or whatever you &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; feel is reasonable (this is why you &lt;em&gt;negotiate&lt;/em&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next time you are both in a fairly peaceful mood, inform him you need to have a &quot;family meeting&quot;. The purpose of this meeting is to &lt;em&gt;negotiate&lt;/em&gt; a contract that he must agree to uphold if he is to live in your house.&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; Set a time (right then or in a few days) for the meeting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then negotiate the terms of the agreement. This is a contract; it all needs to be written down. Include a requirement that he &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; raise his voice to you, or raise a hand, again under any circumstances without consequences. (I hope it goes without saying that you will honor that code of behavior as well.) It needs to include school attendance and passing grades or part-(or full)-time work, or a combination, or whatever is important to you and think will help him. It can include anything the two of you have concerns about. But you need to negotiate this peacefully and reasonably. Ask him if he has any requests and consider them if he does.&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, set consequences. These are only minimally negotiable. For example, if he raises his voice (you will just be a calm observer now, because you'll have the contract), he needs to leave the house (allow a set few minutes of packing) until the next morning. He won't die if he has to sleep in your car or find a friend willing to put him up at the last minute. Also if he doesn't honor your &lt;em&gt;agreement/contract&lt;/em&gt;, e.g., if he refuses to leave and argues, the ante needs to go up - two days away from home, a week away from home; where he goes is &lt;em&gt;not your problem&lt;/em&gt;. Still no cooperation? Then you will call the police. (You need to be willing to do this or whatever the consequence is.)&lt;sup&gt;3&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once all the new house rules are negotiated, type it up, print 4 copies, and both sign all copies. One is yours, one is his, one goes on the refrigerator or other open, commonly used space.&lt;sup&gt;4&lt;/sup&gt; Then both of you know what is expected of each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read the links below. They all have value, good ideas and advice. Remember, you don't have to negotiate everything under the sun; just the most important and helpful things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last link is the most serious, and I would definitely consider it's advice. It's from an organization that deals with troubled teens, and the contract is drawn up before the teen is allowed to come home from a therapeutic boarding school/treatment facility again. It has some &lt;strong&gt;great&lt;/strong&gt; advice. You need to be strong for your son and yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. Whatever you choose, if you have success, please consider adding to this post (you can edit new information into your question) and telling us what worked well and what you found unhelpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;1. If he refuses, tell him in that case, you will give him a list of your own demands without his input. Then type it up and give it to him, and date it. If he fails to meet any of the demands, put your consequences into play.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;2. You might want a second adult there - an uncle, or other adult male - to act as a neutral intermediary if needed. There are also therapists and social workers that do this kind of mediation.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;3. If things start to get heated, you might want to take a five-minute break, but get through it.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;4. Give the third copy to the intermediary or someone else outside the home. Treat this like a binding, legal agreement.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lfcc.on.ca/HCT_SWASM_pages58-59.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;LIFE WITH A TEENAGER: THE ART OF NEGOTIATION&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/contracts-of-trust-between-parents-teenagers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Contracts of Trust Between Parents and Teenagers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.teenswithproblems.com/home_contract.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to Write a Home Rules Contract&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.firemountainprograms.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/CHC-coming-home-contract-Parent-sheet1.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Coming Home Contract&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T01:00:48.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2015-03-30T02:42:49.777" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Grandson is afraid to try out at school, because he is afraid of not getting picked. So we signed him up for basketball, where everyone gets put on a team. I'm hoping this will give him the confidence to try out at school next year! Plus he ll have more skill by then&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14308" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T02:42:49.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19191" CreationDate="2015-03-30T08:31:40.287" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Age of Child (source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/language_development/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/language_development/&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6 Months    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vocalization with intonation&#xA;Responds to his name&#xA;Responds to human voices without visual cues by turning his head and eyes&#xA;Responds appropriately to friendly and angry tones&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;12 Months   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Uses one or more words with meaning (this may be a fragment of a word)&#xA;Understands simple instructions, especially if vocal or physical cues are given&#xA;Practices inflection&#xA;Is aware of the social value of speech&#xA;18 Months&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Has vocabulary of approximately 5-20 words&#xA;Vocabulary made up chiefly of nouns&#xA;Some echolalia (repeating a word or phrase over and over)&#xA;Much jargon with emotional content&#xA;Is able to follow simple commands&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;24 Months   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can name a number of objects common to his surroundings&#xA;Is able to use at least two prepositions, usually chosen from the following: in, on, under&#xA;Combines words into a short sentence-largely noun-verb combinations (mean) length of sentences is given as 1.2 words&#xA;Approximately 2/3 of what child says should be intelligible&#xA;Vocabulary of approximately 150-300 words&#xA;Rhythm and fluency often poor&#xA;Volume and pitch of voice not yet well-controlled&#xA;Can use two pronouns correctly: I, me, you, although me and I are often confused&#xA;My and mine are beginning to emerge&#xA;Responds to such commands as “show me your eyes (nose, mouth, hair)”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;36 Months   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use pronouns I, you, me correctly&#xA;Is using some plurals and past tenses&#xA;Knows at least three prepositions, usually in, on, under&#xA;Knows chief parts of body and should be able to indicate these if not name&#xA;Handles three word sentences easily&#xA;Has in the neighborhood of 900-1000 words&#xA;About 90% of what child says should be intelligible&#xA;Verbs begin to predominate&#xA;Understands most simple questions dealing with his environment and activities&#xA;Relates his experiences so that they can be followed with reason&#xA;Able to reason out such questions as “what must you do when you are sleepy, hungry, cool, or thirsty?”&#xA;Should be able to give his sex, name, age&#xA;Should not be expected to answer all questions even though he understands what is expected&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;48 Months   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knows names of familiar animals&#xA;Can use at least four prepositions or can demonstrate his understanding of their meaning when given commands&#xA;Names common objects in picture books or magazines&#xA;Knows one or more colors&#xA;Can repeat 4 digits when they are given slowly&#xA;Can usually repeat words of four syllables&#xA;Demonstrates understanding of over and under&#xA;Has most vowels and diphthongs and the consonants p, b, m, w, n well established&#xA;Often indulges in make-believe&#xA;Extensive verbalization as he carries out activities&#xA;Understands such concepts as longer, larger, when a contrast is presented&#xA;Readily follows simple commands even thought the stimulus objects are not in sight&#xA;Much repetition of words, phrases, syllables, and even sounds&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;60 Months   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can use many descriptive words spontaneously-both adjectives and adverbs&#xA;Knows common opposites: big-little, hard-soft, heave-light, etc&#xA;Has number concepts of 4 or more&#xA;Can count to ten&#xA;Speech should be completely intelligible, in spite of articulation problems&#xA;Should have all vowels and the consonants, m,p,b,h,w,k,g,t,d,n,ng,y (yellow)&#xA;Should be able to repeat sentences as long as nine words&#xA;Should be able to define common objects in terms of use (hat, shoe, chair)&#xA;Should be able to follow three commands given without interruptions&#xA;Should know his age&#xA;Should have simple time concepts: morning, afternoon, night, day, later, after, while&#xA;Tomorrow, yesterday, today&#xA;Should be using fairly long sentences and should use some compound and some complex sentences&#xA;Speech on the whole should be grammatically correct&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6 Years &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to the above consonants these should be mastered: f, v, sh, zh, th,1&#xA;He should have concepts of 7&#xA;Speech should be completely intelligible and socially useful&#xA;Should be able to tell one a rather connected story about a picture, seeing relationships&#xA;Between objects and happenings&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;7 Years &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should have mastered the consonants s-z, r, voiceless th, ch, wh, and the soft g as in George&#xA;Should handle opposite analogies easily: girl-boy, man-woman, flies-swims, blunt-sharp short-long, sweet-sour, etc&#xA;Understands such terms as: alike, different, beginning, end, etc&#xA;Should be able to tell time to quarter hour&#xA;Should be able to do simple reading and to write or print many words&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;8 Years &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can relate rather involved accounts of events, many of which occurred at some time in the past&#xA;Complex and compound sentences should be used easily&#xA;Should be few lapses in grammatical constrictions-tense, pronouns, plurals&#xA;All speech sounds, including consonant blends should be established&#xA;Should be reading with considerable ease and now writing simple compositions&#xA;Social amenities should be present in his speech in appropriate situations&#xA;Control of rate, pitch, and volume are generally well and appropriately established&#xA;Can carry on conversation at rather adult level&#xA;Follows fairly complex directions with little repetition&#xA;Has well developed time and number concepts&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14309" LastEditorUserId="14309" LastEditDate="2015-03-31T06:27:49.010" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T06:27:49.010" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19200" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19203" CreationDate="2015-03-30T11:14:46.380" Score="2" ViewCount="1930" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is sometimes difficult to get my daughter (1 yo) to eat her whole main course : she usually loses interest halfway through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, she gets interested again when dessert comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I devised an evil plan to make her finish both plates : I alternate between a random number (between 1 and 3) of spoonfuls of the main course and a random number of spoonfuls of the dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It works quite well, but my wife is afraid this could mess up her future eating habits. Is there such a risk ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T12:10:47.473" Title="Could alternating between courses be harmful to my child?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19200" CreationDate="2015-03-30T11:51:59.487" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This kind of depends on what you consider good eating-habits. Having your meal in courses is really a cultural thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am currently failing to come up with actual sources, not second hand notices, but is seems like Arabian countries as well as Thailand do not know &quot;courses&quot; as we do. As long as doing this does not lead to her eating MORE dessert, she should be just fine health-wise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But yes, once she is used to it, it may be a hard habit to break. But it would be just that: a habit not quiet in synch with your culture. But at 1 year, there is plenty of time left to get her used to &quot;course-based&quot; eating. For now, make sure the portions are ok, she enjoys the meals, and gets to experience lots of different food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if she wants to put peanut-butter onto her pickles, at least at home, let her do that, too ^^. This is persona believe, but I think if you get to try strange mixes as a kid, you will end up more open to unusual mixes as an adult... and so, more open to more exotic cuisine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T11:51:59.487" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19200" CreationDate="2015-03-30T11:55:09.797" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that there &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a risk that this can mess with future eating habits, although perhaps not exactly the way you expect. By &lt;em&gt;dictating how much she eats&lt;/em&gt;, you are circumventing her ability to learn how much food she needs to be full. This is the case whether you state how much food must be eaten before she earns dessert, or you bribe her with sweets during the meal (which is really just a smaller bribe to earn a smaller treat).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Useful reading on this subject is Satter's &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Division of Responsibility in Feeding&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. In essence, the parent gets to decide what is served, but the child (at all ages) gets to decide how much of it to eat. Excerpt:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The Division of Responsibility for infants:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The parent is responsible for &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The child is responsible for &lt;em&gt;how much&lt;/em&gt; (and everything else).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parents choose breast- or formula-feeding, and help the infant be calm&#xA;  and organized. Then they feed smoothly, paying attention to&#xA;  information coming from the baby about timing, tempo, frequency, and&#xA;  amounts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The Division of Responsibility for babies making the transition to&#xA;  family food:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The parent is still responsible for &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt;, and is &lt;em&gt;becoming&lt;/em&gt; responsible for &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;where&lt;/em&gt; the child is fed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The child is &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; responsible for &lt;em&gt;how much&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;whether&lt;/em&gt; to eat the foods offered by the parent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Based on what the child can do, not on how old s/he is, parents guide&#xA;  the child’s transition from nipple feeding through semi-solids, then&#xA;  thick-and-lumpy food, to finger food at family meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that your method could work somewhat if done carefully. You can have both the dessert and the main course set in front of her, offer alternating spoonfuls, and see how she deals with that. However, if you turn down a demand from her for more spoonfuls of dessert before another spoonful of not-dessert, then you're back to removing control and the risk described above. (And I speak from experience: &lt;em&gt;this is an incredibly difficult process as a parent&lt;/em&gt;, largely because it's not how I grew up and I don't &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; my kid to eat nothing but ice cream.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect she's eating less than she really needs at dinner in order to save room for dessert (typically I saw when my kids were older than one, but not much older!), have a few meals without a dessert course. When she's hungry later, offer the leftovers from the entree that she did not finish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some additional/related answers that may be of interest:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14031/4054&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/14031/4054&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18497/4054&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18497/4054&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T12:10:47.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16294" CreationDate="2015-03-30T12:29:49.453" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, when my 4 yr old was playing hide and seek, (I play that with her to learn to count) she hid under a table and peed her pants. She hadn't done that in forever... I figured out that she was heading to the potty, but was to late... I cut back on her drinks, make her go potty anyways, and if she refuses, cut back privileges as watching tv, playing my phone, or whatever... If she pees, I tell her to change herself. I wipe her but she has to change, it worked! She hasn't done it sence and she uses the potty. Hope it helps!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14312" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T12:29:49.453" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19192" CreationDate="2015-03-30T13:22:09.983" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something of a challenge to answer objectively. I'm going to try instead just throwing a random assortment of advice out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;See if slacks are an option.&lt;/strong&gt; When I was in a school with a uniform, I had a friend who hated skirts and she wore slacks instead. (A polite question to the school can answer that easily.) However, I actually found skirts to be a less revealing than slacks, since I didn't have to worry about my butt, hips, or thighs being particularly visible. (I also wore tights or shorts under my skirt throughout high school.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;However&lt;/em&gt;, I don't think that pants are going to fully address the underlying question, which seems to be more about &lt;em&gt;being around teenage boys&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Relax a bit.&lt;/strong&gt; She isn't likely to be more of a target than the other girls since they're all dressed the same. You already know that :) But especially if she's shy and isn't dressing seductively (within the dress code), she isn't going to be attracting much sexual attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give her classmates a little credit.&lt;/strong&gt; In large part, the incoming freshmen boys are going to be just as shy and awkward, especially if they aren't used to all these skirts. Rather than turning them into sex maniacs, it's more likely that they will become &lt;em&gt;even more shy and awkward&lt;/em&gt; until they figure out how to deal with skirted girls. (And that's assuming that skirts are considered a sexier piece of clothing than yoga pants or skinny jeans which they've been staring at in public schools up until now.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that she's able to make friends and hang out with boys. Some of my best friends in high school weren't girls (the boys were often more interested in science and engineering, like me, so it was more fun to talk to &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt;). And just as she's likely to appreciate their brains and personalities, many of them will similarly appreciate &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; brains and personality, not just her legs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But most important?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Talk to your daughter.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk about sex.&lt;/strong&gt; Have discussions about risks, responsibilities, and expectations of behavior. Background knowledge and being prepared is a big benefit for dealing with the opposite sex, whether it's casual conversations or dating, whether they're initiating the interaction or she is. Since she's shy and doesn't have much experience dealing with boys, the best way forward is to help her build self-confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But rather than rely on hope that all the boys are respectful, teach her that &lt;strong&gt;she is in control of what happens with her body&lt;/strong&gt;. Even if she's not old enough to have romantic or sexual interests, some of her girl (and boy) classmates will be, and so the topic will come up. Any time a boy is pushing for an activity she doesn't want, she has the right to decline, she doesn't have to be accommodating just to be polite and not hurt his feelings, and he has absolutely no right to dictate what she can and can't do. &lt;strong&gt;She gets to choose.&lt;/strong&gt; If he's talking about things she finds uncomfortable, or suggesting activities she is not interested in, &lt;em&gt;it is completely appropriate to tell him to stop and walk away&lt;/em&gt;. If he's pushy or aggressive, find a classmate or teacher and get some outside intervention so the situation stops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;That confidence can be important for a career just as much as dressing professionally and getting a good education.&lt;/em&gt; Knowing how to deal with the boys is just icing on the cake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T13:22:09.983" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11353" CreationDate="2015-03-30T15:07:48.213" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a great difference between &quot;recognize&quot; and &quot;understand&quot;. Recognizing one's shadow can happen as early as few months old, as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/19201/2513&quot;&gt;this other answer&lt;/a&gt; implies. Then at later age, kids can start playing with their shadows, and other people shadows they see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the real question should be: &quot;when children actually understand the concept of shadows?&quot; and my research brought up surprising results. To sum this up, the answer I found is that the concept of shadows is being truly comprehended only during one's adolescence (!), meaning somewhere around the age of 10-15.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www2.education.uiowa.edu/html/iae/iae-z-op-devries-1-5.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;research I found&lt;/a&gt; (PDF) is using several books, here are the relevant quotes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Three years old&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example, three-year-olds&#xA;  often use their intelligence to reason that their shadows go inside themselves when they cannot see them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Five years old&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Five-year-olds often believe their shadows are under their bed or covers at night&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Source for both the above: DeVries, 1986; Piaget,&#xA;1929/1960)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Nine years old&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Even 9-year-olds do not believe that shadows are transitory. Rather, they are convinced that unseen shadows are still there somewhere&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Source: DeVries, 1986)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...children construct their knowledge about shadows over a rather long period from age two &lt;strong&gt;through adolescence&lt;/strong&gt;. Correct ideas about shadows are the result of logical deductions that allow the child to correct erroneous ideas&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(emphasis mine)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T15:07:48.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19187" CreationDate="2015-03-30T17:33:31.987" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most effective solution I've tried has also typically taken the longest to implement. For that reason I don't really feel like it's the answer I'm seeking, but for completeness I want to submit it for review. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of the criteria for them getting my attention, or assistance for conflict resolution is to prove to me that they took appropriate steps on their own first.&#xA;I have adopted this from watching my wife, and I'm very thankful for it. The first thing I say if there is no obvious need for immediate intervention (e.g. blood, or inconsolable crying, etc) is some variation of the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did you use your words? ...(e.g. meaning instead of imposing physicality) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did you tell him/her you didn't like that?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did you remind him/her that this is against our rules?... (e.g. Are you tattling?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What have you done to try to solve the problem yourself?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This puts the onus back on them a little bit, but also let's them know I'm listening to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that point, depending on the nature and severity of the conflict I'll try (if patience allows) to put on the moderator hat. I'll essentially sit down with them and listen to one tell the other their feelings. Then I'll translate the expression in my own words trying to make discrete substitutions cherry picking emotional, or inflammatory parts and mixing in logic and reasoning. I'll repeat the translated expression to the recipient and ask them to respond. I'll continue to do this as they talk back and forth. I really try to leave the bulk of their original message in tact. Having me there helps to ensure they play by the rules and nobody gets to leave until a solution is agreed upon. That last part is important because often in a conflict one party will get bored, or frustrated and simply terminate the discussion by leaving, or escalating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it's successful, this approach tends to make everybody feel like they won. The main problem I have with it, is that as you might expect it can take a long, long time. On a bad day I can see this absorbing hours of my time, and if it's at all about getting attention; I'm giving them exactly what they want. I need them to appreciate that I'm busy working on my own tasks and need larger chunks of uninterrupted time in order to be successful in my own endeavors.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13739" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T17:33:31.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19208" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-30T19:23:47.333" Score="6" ViewCount="1211" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not a question about whether or not to use timeouts. I am prepared to have that discussion, but not on this question. I believe they have their place in a parent's arsenal, and I also accept they are a perishable resource. This is more a question about the following aspects of timeouts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I've heard 1-1.5 minutes per year the child has aged. I typically skew longer, but I'll get to that shortly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When in timeout the child's conduct must be _______. As opposed to allowing whatever state the child is in to persist and run its course naturally.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After the timeout is over, there is a discussion about cause(s) of the timeout.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There maybe an apology offered, or required depending on circumstances.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That apology is, or isn't allowed to count based upon the perceived sincerity &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If certain actions take place during the timeout session, the timer will be reset, and there maybe a discussion about why.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As much as I've tried to remain consistent in my parenting; I've had to tweak certain aspects of the timeout in order to feel it has relevancy. For better or worse, my kids can pretty much count on the following from me,... mostly related to timeouts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you throw a fit, you &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;won't&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; get what you want. My kids know this as incontestable. I don't allow negotiations to take place in that manner inside a timeout or otherwise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This also means I don't start the timer until the child is calm, and collected and can tell me they are ready for the timer to start. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't allow: speaking, singing, dancing, humming, whistling, tapping on things, or basically noise making distractions of any kind. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't allow toys, or fiddling around with anything within arms reach.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Basically I expect them to use the time to reflect on the behavior, and situation that caused the timeout.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For this reason, I usually must conduct timeouts in a semi-public place (e.g. not in their room) so that I can make sure the behavior matches expectations. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I escalate a timeout into a room timeout (e.g. full isolation) in only the rarest of circumstances. In those cases, I accept that the child can focus on whatever they want to during this time, which likely won't be the situation that got them placed in isolation in the first place. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking timeout are very rare in my house at this point. I largely feel my kids are able to communicate effectively and appropriately about issues that arise that used to result in a timeout. That may, or may not be a result of the nature of my timeout system. It may, or may not be a result of their age (e.g. they may have simply outgrown them). My son is 4, and my daughter is 7.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13739" LastActivityDate="2016-11-26T11:20:06.200" Title="How should I conduct a proper timeout?" Tags="|discipline|time-out|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19209" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-03-30T21:01:28.127" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-03-30T21:01:28.127" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T21:01:28.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19210" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-03-30T21:01:28.127" Score="0" Body="Questions about sexual activities, including sexual intercourse, interest in sex, childhood sex play, and masturbation. " OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-31T11:58:39.060" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T11:58:39.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19211" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-03-30T21:07:07.277" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-03-30T21:07:07.277" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T21:07:07.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19212" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-03-30T21:07:07.277" Score="0" Body="Teaching about sexual activity, sexual anatomy, reproduction, sexuality, safe sex practices and birth control." OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-03-31T09:21:14.863" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T09:21:14.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19168" CreationDate="2015-03-30T22:06:02.003" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of suggestions, both general and specific to your situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do not want to hire a baby sitter, have your thought about a 'mothers helper?' A pre-teen or teenage neighbor, who looks after the kid while you are in the the house. Less background checking, cheaper. Find one now, and build a relationship with them and their parents. &#xA;For scheduled doctors visits, you might be able to bring them along and have them in the waiting room with your kid. &#xA;In fact, while you may not be comfortable with leaving your kid with someone, anyone you can bring along might be an option - someone who can entertain your son in a waiting room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may or may not work for the delivery, depending on the timing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your wife OK doing this alone? My husband drove our oldest to our friend for baby sitting when we had our youngest, and almost didn't make it back in time (delivery was fast). I was not upset. I was actually surprised at how calm I was - this being the second time I was fine with him not being there for handholding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would personally not bring a 2 year old to the delivery room - he might be in the way, and it will probably be upsetting for him to see mom in distress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I honestly think the best way would be for your to start building relationship with someone so that you can trust them to look after your kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-03-30T22:06:02.003" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19214" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19222" CreationDate="2015-03-30T22:08:50.113" Score="5" ViewCount="573" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a kindergartener whom we homeschool.&#xA;We also send our child for once-a-week violin lessons,&#xA;which requires us to practice with our child every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the times, our child is motivated to work hard&#xA;at her writing, math, and violin practice.&#xA;At other times, our child just has a bad attitude&#xA;towards homeschool and violin practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are thinking of making after-dinner dessert&#xA;conditional on good behavior during her &quot;work time&quot;.&#xA;In our minds, dessert seems like a natural consequence of working hard.&#xA;After all, if our child were an adult, and did not work hard,&#xA;our child would only be able to afford basic food,&#xA;and not the very tasty desserts our child would want to buy.&#xA;FYI: Our dessert is generally healthy but is sweeter than other foods,&#xA;usually clementines, apples, frozen berries but sometimes ice cream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are the pros and cons of such an approach?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have you tried this approach personally and has it worked for you?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-12T12:12:46.980" LastActivityDate="2019-07-12T12:12:46.980" Title="What are the pros and cons of using dessert as a motivation for kids to work hard?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|food|homework|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19215" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19246" CreationDate="2015-03-31T04:14:47.000" Score="10" ViewCount="399" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the near future, there will be a new baby in the home. From previous experience, sleep is highly disrupted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering what effect this will have on my son and &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; sleep quality, and how it may affect him during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some facts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We live in a very small apartment. The bedrooms share a wall. Noise travels easily: We can hear our son &lt;em&gt;breathing&lt;/em&gt; when everyone is in bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The new baby will start off in our room, but may have to share a room with our other son once we switch from a bassinet to the crib, because we have no other free space.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our son is 2, and will be about 27 months when his brother arrives.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything that we can do to help make this transition easier on our son? It doesn't have to necessarily be &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; the baby arrives, so suggestions for what to do afterwards are acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I even be concerned? I completely expected the impact a child would have on &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; sleep patterns, but it's only recently that I've wondered how it will affect a young child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-04-04T17:31:01.687" Title="How to prepare a toddler's sleep habits for the disruption of a newborn?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19188" CreationDate="2015-03-31T06:55:51.463" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I come from a family whose tradition is Native American. Before cradling the child to put him or her to sleep, we swaddle the babe tightly to contribute to a sense of security. This also cuts down on dramatic temperature or texture change or the feeling of &quot;looseness&quot; which Stephanie describes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children do not respond to this method because they simply do not like the feeling of being restricted. If the practice is begun when they are newborn, it becomes a way to ease anxiety and makes transferring from your arms to a bed feel less noticeable. (It acts a little bit like the &quot;Thunder Shirt&quot; which is marketed in the US for anxious animals.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For children who do not respond to tight swaddling, you can instead cradle the child with a blanket between you and the infant before you put them to sleep. The blanket will warm to your body temperature and when you make the transfer, the texture and warmth of the blanket should help mask the move. And again, I agree with Stephanie about keeping your hand on the child briefly and then lightly lift away so the change in pressure is gradual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Upon close listening, the women in my family have noticed that all of our children tend to let out a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com.my/a558727/understanding-your-babys-sleep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;long, deep sigh&lt;/a&gt; which can be a signal they've transitioned to deep, slow-wave non-REM sleep. This has been an indication that the baby is fully asleep and is a good time to try the transfer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14319" LastEditorUserId="14319" LastEditDate="2015-04-01T12:19:11.697" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T12:19:11.697" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19104" CreationDate="2015-03-31T15:23:48.977" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try a memory game with tiles flipped over. Each player flips one tile, then a second to try and find a match. If you make a match, you keep the tiles. This can help with pattern recognition and memory. Start with a small number of tiles, say 4 (two pairs) just to get things going. Once she starts to catch on, you can increase the number of tiles to make things more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T15:23:48.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2015-03-31T15:46:51.197" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing in doing sport is having fun continuously. When I was young I tried lots of kinds of sports and i had never found the absolutely right one. Then I started exercising in gym and it was fun and I've had a huge motivation for it and I've been doing it for years now. Just let him try out different activities and do never force him. This makes things worse. He will need some time to find his prefered kind of sport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14321" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T15:46:51.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19221" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-31T15:51:46.017" Score="12" ViewCount="3380" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to leave and start something on my own. But my husband is not working as well and I fear my daughter will feel bad to say that both her parents are not working. What should I do? I have enough money  saved to give her a reasonable future. My husband earns a good pension.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has always seen me working and gathers comfort and pride from that. My work is killing me and devaluing me. I want freedom and need to look after my health. Also I have a dream close to my heart. I want to follow that dream. If I succeed I could earn money AND be happy. If not there is not much loss of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my daughter and what she feels is holding me back and I am feeling more and more fatigued in body and soul.  I love her, she is a temperamental child but sometimes selfish like many children are... PLEASE HELP. Tell me I am not selfish in choosing something good for myself however my daughter says she feels about it... Am I being a good parent when I choose to follow my own dream? Time is running out an changing me into an empty money earning shell...She is just a young teenager and may not know better... but still... I can see the pride in her eyes (or whatever I imagine it to be) of having a high flying working mom ...&#xA;Edit: My daughter's age is 14 and I'm from India.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14322" LastEditorUserId="14322" LastEditDate="2015-03-31T19:49:13.540" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T16:23:33.510" Title="How do I convince my daughter to agree that I want to quit my job and not strain our mother-daughter relationship?" Tags="|teen|working-parents|conflict|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19214" CreationDate="2015-03-31T16:18:20.790" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first issue is that kids that age don't think that far into the future.  Something that happens several hours away isn't motivating for them.  It needs to be more immediate.  Otherwise, it feels to them like they were forced to do things they didn't want to all day, then to top it all off on a completely unrelated note, they don't get dessert either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extrinsic motivation only works to a degree.  It can jump start a child's motivation, but ultimately, she needs to want to do it for her own reasons.  Since she already does okay &quot;most of the time,&quot; I think it's unlikely to help much in the other times.  You need to find out exactly why those other times are different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't make the all-too-common mistake of assuming that needing to work hard as an adult means always needing to work hard as a child.  Children learn to work hard by &lt;em&gt;playing&lt;/em&gt; hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have a lot of flexibility available to you as a homeschooler.  Use it.  If she's struggling with motivation, let her do something else for an hour or two and come back to it.  It's funny how much more motivated they are when something is their own choice, even if you planted the idea in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, out of the blue a couple weeks ago my seven year-old started asking to learn about Ancient Egypt.  He took to it with great enthusiasm.  I assumed he had heard about it on a TV show or something.  When I mentioned it to my wife, she said she had introduced the topic a few days earlier but he seemed utterly bored by it, so she dropped it.  It only took a few days of mulling the idea around in his brain to go from utterly bored to actively seeking out information.  By us not forcing the issue, he was able to get into a much more receptive state.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially something like playing an instrument requires a delicate balance of motivation and hard work.  Missing one or two formal practices a week won't make much difference in her musical ability.  However, I've seen many times how the cumulative effect of being forced to practice against your will hundreds of times over the next 12 years can result in never touching the instrument again as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T16:18:20.790" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19221" CreationDate="2015-03-31T16:21:45.877" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be honest about why you are leaving.&lt;/strong&gt; It sounds like a really terrible job that is giving you nothing but a paycheck, and you don't necessarily need the paycheck. That's a wonderful reason to leave. &quot;This is making me very unhappy, I want to follow my dream, and here is my plan for enacting my dream.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Focus on the positives.&lt;/strong&gt; You aren't very specific about what your dream is, but &quot;I could earn money AND be happy&quot; -- I'm guessing starting your own business? Going back to school to change careers? Still, it's clearly something besides &quot;sit at home all day doing nothing.&quot; This can actually be a very empowering experience for your daughter, since she'll have an example of somebody really, truly following their dream. You're deciding not to take the easy road, and you're not settling for a mediocre career just for some extra money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have her be honest about why, or even if, she feels this is a bad choice for you.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it's shame at having &quot;unemployed&quot; parents, talk about how a &quot;job&quot; isn't the only way of being productive. Would she rather say &quot;my mother works as [blah]&quot; or &quot;my mother is [doing cool dream-following work]&quot;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she's worried about money, talk about how your finances are in good shape (not specific bank balances, just general reassurances so she knows you've put thought into this and aren't throwing her future away).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she thinks your dream is silly or pointless, tell her why it matters to you. Tell her how draining your current job is.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bottom line is you need to understand why she doesn't like the idea in order to convince her it really is the best way forward. This lets you focus your reasons when talking about the switch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By having any part of this conversation, you're opening dialog and encouraging honesty. Even if she doesn't really understand, you have explained your reasons and shown that &lt;em&gt;you care about her input &lt;strong&gt;even though the final decision is yours&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. If you want your daughter to be able to talk to you when considering her options when she has to make a tough choice, lead by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-03-31T19:21:07.897" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T19:21:07.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7854" CreationDate="2015-03-31T17:22:48.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a little child, my parents had a lot ideas of what to play. I will just sum them up and explain it if necessary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cottonwool Blowing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using a tape, you mark some lanes on the floor. Now you need some cottonwools for every single lane. Give straws to the children participating. The race starts with your signal and the kids must blow the cottonwools forward to the finishing line. The winner achieves some sweets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eating cake without using hands&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't laugh&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the children tries to make the others laugh. These avoid laughing. If the one in the middle succeed, he will get some sweets, if he doesn't, the rest will get sweets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;But please try not to over-organize that party. These kids want to have fun together while doing funny things. They won't like it if it seems like KidsPartyClownService24h is here.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14321" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T17:22:48.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19225" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-03-31T19:32:31.713" Score="6" ViewCount="2469" Body="&lt;p&gt;My happy, positive, loving, open-minded, outgoing teenage daughter gets along with other people very easily. She's kind by nature and cares deeply about the feelings of others. She's mature for her age and doesn't usually experience drama with people, which is why I'm concerned about a recent situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her best friends for many years is a boy who lives across the street. He always seemed like a very nice boy. Their friendship is strictly platonic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter dated a boy from school for a week or two, but broke up with him because his behavior seemed abusive (I agreed). She told her best friend because she was hoping for emotional support. He told her that it was impossible that her ex had been abusive, that he knew women who were really being abused and my daughter wasn't one of them. My daughter stopped talking to him. It took him a month to apologize. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our family is spiritual, but not religious. My daughter reads sacred texts from every religion. She shared her excitement about new things she's been learning with her best friend and he told her that she couldn't possibly believe in the existence of God. He then told her if she talked about God or her beliefs that he'd give her the silent treatment. She stood up for herself. She told him that she felt it was arrogant of him to tell her what she did or didn't think, feel, or believe and even more so since he'd threatened to give her the silent treatment for talking about something that he'd never in the past had any problem with. She ignored him for about a month and he eventually apologized. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter (almost 18) watched Game of Thrones, but she found the show too violent (it gave her nightmares.) She told her best friend this. He sent her taunting text messages and Game of Thrones-themed porn. She showed me the messages he sent her. I thought them creepy and disturbing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter wants to block his number, email address and social media profiles. I agree that she should do that. However, being that my daughter is a decent person, she at least wants to send him one last email stating that they've grown apart as friends rather than just severing all contact without saying something to him. His behavior has her feeling distressed and upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he even deserve an email from her saying that they've grown apart as friends before she blocks him? Should she block him, especially being that since this type of behavior began it hasn't stopped? What would have caused him to change so radically? Could he be mentally ill, a bully, a coward and insecure? Might he be drinking or using drugs? Should I speak with his parents since they live right across the street?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter just informed me that her best friend recently told her that all of his ex-girlfriends ended up in therapy following dumping him, but he didn't elaborate. He might just be an abusive individual and it took a long time for the mask to come off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14325" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-03-31T23:11:35.953" LastActivityDate="2023-09-08T19:40:16.270" Title="Is this bullying? Are we overreacting/under-reacting?" Tags="|behavior|teen|relationships|communication|conflict|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7854" CreationDate="2015-03-31T20:07:54.590" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids that age are not easy to organize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At our 4 year old birthday, which we held at our home we did the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Met at a playground, when everyone was there, a simple treasure hunt where they followed some balloons we tied to trees. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After everyone got the treasure, we went back to the house for snacks, cake and playing with the balloons and whatever random toys they could find. They entertained each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We unwrapped the presents with everyone there, the kids like to hand their present to the birthday kid!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were at another birthday party with a similar party, but they did an indoor treasure hunt with clues, the dad read them aloud - super popular (where do you lay down at night? Clue was for the birthday girl's bed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also had a bunch of craft stuff, the kids could sit down and draw their own (pre cut) masks. They all loved that. I think if you have kiddie table space enough, anything crafty, like drawing is fun. If you have a theme you can use some printouts for coloring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T20:07:54.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19225" CreationDate="2015-03-31T20:58:18.533" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say speak to his parents and wash your hands of it. If this is atypical behavior something maybe wrong. Someone said the only predictable thing about addicts is they're unpredictable. If he's mental or on drugs his parents can probably help. He's not your responsibility. He upset your daughter and she can stop talking to someone who keeps hurting her. It sounds like you &amp;amp; your daughter understood the situation and handled it well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14327" LastEditorUserId="14327" LastEditDate="2015-03-31T21:03:54.327" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T21:03:54.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19221" CreationDate="2015-03-31T21:30:48.350" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps explaining to your daughter that entrepreneurial efforts in many ways are more work than just accepting someone else's job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's always been my opinion that conventional employment is not worth the praise it is given. To be sure, many conventional jobs are noble ones. I respect a road worker job far more than criminal defense lawyer and I think the pay ratio is way off. So to best combat that it is my opinion that following what you dream of, success or fail, is worth more than whatever minimal satisfaction may come with doing someone else's job for whatever the nominal salary may be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a family makes that harder to do. You have to factor in how your choices will affect their comfort and happiness. If you say you are financially stable, then your biggest hurdle is your daughter's opinion of you. Saying your mom is happy is certainly worth a lot more than saying your mom endures a job she hates. Especially if there's no financial issues surrounding it. It's hard to defend your daughter's opinion in that case. Being unemployed and being self employed are not the same thing. Even if self employed means starting small and growing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worst case, you learned a lesson and go back to work? I don't know what your plan B is, but if you are indeed suffering at your job your daughter should be able to see that and encourage you to reach for something more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way to integrate her into your plan? Maybe she would be more excited if it was something she could do with you. I sew on the side. My oldest daughter seems to like that I sew and she likes helping too. Plus, I think it's healthy for kids to know that sewing isn't tied to a gender. The same way that owning your own business isn't tied to a gender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't get it now, she will eventually. And she will probably be so much more proud of that than if you stayed in a place that was making you sad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-03-31T21:30:48.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19229" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19274" CreationDate="2015-03-31T22:06:19.940" Score="1" ViewCount="149" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I get older I will have a job that I can do at home to earn my income(Since I can't really leave my mom or dad or grandparents completely even if I do get more independent than before).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some time after I get my job I want to have children. When I have children I want to exclusively breastfeed them for 6 months and keep giving them some breastmilk until 2 years. But when I have a newborn that will be hungry every 2 hours or so or even a 3 month old who gets hungry every 4 hours how will I be able to work at home and breastfeed my child(or children if I get pregnant with multiples or become pregnant again before my first child turns 2)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14328" LastActivityDate="2016-10-08T02:32:19.793" Title="Working at home and breastfeeding?" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19225" CreationDate="2015-03-31T23:06:29.790" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We can't possibly comment on the boy's mental fitness. We don't know him; you do. I don't think you need to concentrate on his diagnosis or speculate about what psychoactive substances he may be using; you don't need help to label his behavior (which is at least insensitive and in one case crass); you only need to decide how you want to proceed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plenty of people grow apart, and if he is unkind to her, she has the right to distance herself from him, or block him from her life. It would be kind if she did send him a short explanation so he will understand how he has offended her, and has the opportunity to learn that not everyone appreciates his communication methods. She seems to have common sense as well as kindness, so let her do so, but support her in side-stepping the drama that might potentially follow, i.e. support her in her setting of boundaries with this boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume the boy is almost 18 as well? Your daughter and her friend are nearly adults. No one has done anything clearly illegal that I can see. If that's the case, I don't think you should talk to his parents about him (yet). They are unlikely to believe you or to find your information (and opinion) helpful. He's been insensitive to your daughter. The adult thing to do is set boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's truly abusive (and not just a insensitive) and continues to send her porn (the only behavior that you described which I would label as possibly abusive), she should tell him that if he continues, she will get the police involved. At that point, I might consider talking to the boy's parents if they have been your friends in the past. But telling the police is appropriate if he continues the potentially abusive behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;P.S.&lt;/strong&gt; &quot;My daughter stopped talking to him. It took him a month to apologize.&quot; &quot;She ignored him for about a month and he eventually apologized.&quot; You might be seeing your daughter through rose-colored glasses, as this is not the behavior of one who &quot;cares deeply about the feeling of others&quot;. They both sound like normal teenagers. No need to look to label his behavior more than hers. But as I said, she has a right to distance herself from whomever she decided to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: You might want to read and share an article about &lt;em&gt;gaslighting&lt;/em&gt;, which might be going on here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2017-02-06T22:39:35.377" LastActivityDate="2017-02-06T22:39:35.377" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19221" CreationDate="2015-03-31T23:45:55.047" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A young teenager in any society is likely ill-equipped to make wise decisions for adults. I understand that you love her and you want her to be happy. To that end, as a parent you owe her love, shelter, food, stability, some amenities and guidance. It sounds like you've given her that and more. Now, maybe you can teach her the importance and rewards of respecting the needs of others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being strong enough to follow your dream after having gained financial security is a valuable lesson, perhaps much more valuable than the example of selflessness you would set in giving in to someone else's (in this case, her) wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do what your heart and mind tells you is right for you, and I wish you all the happiness you hope for with this courageous change. Your decision to take care of yourself is a very admirable one, and sends a strong positive message of self-respect and self-care that your daughter may very well benefit from in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-01T06:07:04.173" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T06:07:04.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19229" CreationDate="2015-04-01T00:43:47.050" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife got a masters degree while nursing and being employed full time. I work from home half the day currently and take care of at least one of the kids during that time. You find ways, even though you may be constantly interrupted. I have many times held a baby while programming with one hand. It seemed to work out. I wouldn't worry about being able to juggle it all at one time unless you plan on doing something that requires real time conferences, like being an on call language translator for a court or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something to consider is that babies tend to start their lives sleeping most of the day, not moving much, and generally being easy to deal with. Your first 6 months will probably be a breeze. Every kid is different, so don't take that as a guarantee. You will find ways to hold them, swaddle them, carry them in things like the &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0009JOSNM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby bjorn&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000OY539A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;moby wrap&lt;/a&gt; and get everything you need done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they get to the solid food stage, your meal times may need a little more attention. My kids required being held and walked around. It was 30 minutes guaranteed. Some kids just gobble up everything in their path. You won't know until you have one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, it sounds like this is future planning. If you are wondering if it is possible to do this according to your plan - yeah it is. Will you be able to do it? Nobody here can say. That's one of those things that unravels the second you become a parent. Then every day is a new experience you never saw coming no matter how solid your plan was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with @anongoodnurse - it is too soon to tell, but don't fret about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T00:43:47.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2015-04-01T01:01:22.263" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm one of the fellow nerds. I was required to play sports. Didn't work for me. Don't like them, never will. But that doesn't mean all physical activity is out...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a show can spark the interest he needs to find the activities that speak to him. He likes skateboards? How do you know? Does he watch skate videos? Does he play games like Tony Hawk? Knowing that may help. Personally I have injured myself so many times on skateboards I would never recommend them to anyone, but should his interest be there then more power to him. If he gets really into it I can print a deck with him on it (custom design or some such). My cousin runs an underground skate company and I could easily bargain that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I decided to answer because of a show called &lt;a href=&quot;http://tv.esquire.com/shows/american-ninja-warrior&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Ninja Warrior&lt;/a&gt; which has this mind warping effect that just makes you want to try running obstacle courses, climb rocks, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihBoqdOsQOo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;parkour&lt;/a&gt; which is just insane but it looks fun, etc. Like alternative sports for people who just don't get football.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to play a lot of paintball and airsoft. Don't think that's an easy time there. You have to be in shape to not get killed on the battlefield.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if he's a true nerd... join the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sca.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SCA&lt;/a&gt; and live like Bilbo Baggins in Middle Earth! Thereby paving the way to eternal nerdism, but he will probably have a great time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think lastly my thoughts are that the nerds tend to be outside thinkers anyhow. Mainstream tactics are probably going to just fall short. I wouldn't even try to get him into soccer or basketball. I'd bring home a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00GRDDBN2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tippman Army Black&lt;/a&gt; one day, toss him in the car, take him to a local game and see how it goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T01:01:22.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19221" CreationDate="2015-04-01T04:26:30.910" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am was born and raised in Asia and spent some time in the US for school and work. I can say that I have seen both Western and Eastern ideologies from both family and friends. In the Western world, it is more about chasing your dream while the Eastern, it is more about taking care of the family and name no matter how bad it gets. What you are experiencing is a very Eastern approach of seeing life. None is more right or wrong than the other. It is usually based on current circumstances. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would suggest is to close your eyes and imagine that you have another kid (very young like 5 years old). He/she has an ambition to do something outside the regular norm. What would you say? Every parent would definitely deep down inside see their kid chase their dreams. The question then would be, did you yourself do that and thus set a good example for him/her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a very good American friend with whom I spent Christmas with his family years ago. His grandmother was very proud of him. He decided to go to an arts college despite getting scholarships to Harvard and MIT. She said that perception of happiness is not as important as personal happiness and even if he were to be happy spending his life shoveling sand into the sea, it was the right thing for him to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids may not know these especially when they are young. Always comparing the status of their parents and family. But, one day when they are older, it is the examples their parents set which would greatly help them much more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14334" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T04:26:30.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19215" CreationDate="2015-04-01T04:38:32.627" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting your child used to sleeping with a fairly constant white noise (eg: a loud fan or air purifier, humidifier, etc) can help a bit with being able to sleep through some of the more erratic noises like screaming baby siblings. I know that helped me in college with sleeping through having a roommate noise and I've oft heard it repeated for helping improve baby sleep as well. Though, sometimes (at least this seemed to be the case for my kid) they will justsomehow  learn to sleep more soundly with no extra training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T04:38:32.627" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19238" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19240" CreationDate="2015-04-01T05:15:05.027" Score="56" ViewCount="10520" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please be considerate in your answers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are an observant jewish family, although I was educated in secular institutions. I feel that I have a wealth of knowledge that I want to pass to my kids that I don't see they'll ever get in a religious school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More specifically:&#xA;My kids are currently toddlers, and their DVDs and books abound in creationist explanations and absolutely no science. I grew up with science and I want them to learn it from an early age. My wife wasn't taught science at school either and would need a serious paradigm shift to understand evolution. I try to avoid the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still want my kids to learn our values, have faith (which means for us to take life in a mature way and with patience), be part of our warm community and stay away of the lousy mainstream. &lt;em&gt;-I don't mean to offend anybody-&lt;/em&gt;. I don't want them to be confused or overwhelmed either. I believe in evolution myself and think the creation story is figurative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;What's the proper way to handle this? How can I make my kids passionate in science and technology while spiritual and connected to Judaism?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I respect this forum and I hope I wrote in the right place and in the proper manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14335" LastEditorUserId="14335" LastEditDate="2015-04-01T07:14:34.773" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T15:00:38.060" Title="How can I make my kids passionate in science while being religious?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|teaching|homeschooling|religion|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19221" CreationDate="2015-04-01T05:29:43.627" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you travel by plane, they always tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first and THEN help your child put on her mask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't be a good parent feeling the way you do about your job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most important things a parent can do to educate her child and prepare her for her adult life is to model healthy behavior and self-advocacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T05:29:43.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-01T06:54:47.500" Score="47" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rest assured that science and religion are not neccessarily a contradiction. Some of the best scientists of past and present time were deeply religious - and came from different religious backgrounds. As one commenter wrote, &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_Lema%C3%AEtre&quot;&gt;Georges Lemaître&lt;/a&gt; being one relatively modern example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question of how to connect religious beliefs and teachings and scientific observation and the consequences thereof has been a subject of discussion from Galilei over Keppler to the leading figures of quantum physics and atomic theory (Heisenberg, Einstein, Bohr,...) the ethical implications of their work even more important with regard to WWII, Nazi Germany and Hiroshima.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my - admittedly very personal - experience, neither science nor religion alone is sufficient for a well-rounded education and upbringing of a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Religion is one cornerstone of our societies (different countries and religions, but the same principles apply). Even if you personally choose not to believe, the base values and teachings can be found in many aspects of life, from manners via morals to law. Religion may serve as moral compass and give (perceived?) additional value to an individual's life. A sense of community, connection and acceptance is often (albeit not exclusively) found in groups with a religious background.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet, science serves a better purpose in understanding the mechanisms of the world around us - if I want to explain how water freezes to ice or evaporates or why a light bulb emits light, I choose scientific fact without batting an eye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your children are still small, so you have plenty of time to work with their natural curiosity: They will observe many things that lead to scientific explanations. The dualism of religious teachings (e.g. how the world was created) vs. scientific observations (as most observant kindergardeners will notice at some point - there are no dinosaurs in the scriptures...) will spark many interesting discussions in your future, but so will questions on friendship, loyalty and first love that may lend themselves to referring back to the teachings of whatever religion you belong to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work with these occasions, conduct age-appropriate scientific experiments and encourage their natural curiosity. Then trust in their ability to find the balance between religion and science that works for them. You sound like an excellent role-model.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-04-06T11:29:13.593" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T11:29:13.593" CommentCount="19" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-01T07:32:39.030" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally don't think that science is inimical to faith and faith-based values. It can be a magnificent way to explore the intricacies of creation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're probably versed in Ancient Near Eastern culture. There is nothing deceitful about a God who communicates with His people in a way they can understand, and in the ANE, that was through stories. Scripture has poetry, metaphor, song, prayer, and other literary &quot;devices&quot;. That Genesis isn't literal doesn't necessarily disprove God's existence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're wise to be concerned about your children learning science. Children who &lt;em&gt;aren't&lt;/em&gt; exposed to science and evolution might, as young adults, feel betrayed when they realize, either in college or by continual exposure due to their own curiosity, that science isn't the lie it was portrayed as being. In rejecting the stories they learned about creation, many reject other things about their faith as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't address rabbinical teachings, but I have been exposed to &lt;em&gt;Christian&lt;/em&gt; creationists extensively. I'm bewildered by their general mistrust of science when it has clearly been beneficial in other areas of their lives. The cognitive dissonance that develops in intellectually honest people has lead many to a crisis of faith. In those that hold on to their creationist views, their distrust of scientists in general can also leave them vulnerable to distrusting science in medicine, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not impossible to live in both worlds. Francis Collins, the geneticist who led the Human Genome Project, is a scientist of deep and abiding faith. There are many others. Maybe reading about them, and how faith and science coexist in their minds and lives, will help you to find peace in your desire to teach your children science. For me, the world would be a much less exciting place without it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How can I make my kids passionate in science and technology while spiritual and connected to Judaism?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only advice I can offer here is to avoid making them mutually exclusive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started teaching my children about science well before they were able to read. There are so many resources available to help you teach science to children in a wonderful way. Speaking about it in everyday matters around the home should help, too. Kids are so naturally curious, it came pretty easily at our house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;One of my fondest memories in this area is their reaction on teaching them about gasses. That something invisible can have physical properties &lt;em&gt;you can observe&lt;/em&gt; seemed almost like magic to them. But, unlike magic, the fascination doesn't dissipate when they learn &quot;secrets&quot; behind it. baking soda, vinegar, some containers, and candles are all that's needed for an amazing lesson!&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-01T07:56:16.337" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T07:56:16.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-01T12:35:57.977" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Science and religion need not be in conflict.  You may be able to teach your children that science and religion both have parts to play in teaching people about life, the world, and the nature of God. There is no need for religion to teach one about the nature of molecules, nor is there need for science to teach about the nature of sin or spiritual promptings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When there is an apparent contradiction, it's useful to consider the reason for needing to know.  If one is exploring their closeness with eternity and their own spiritual nature, the creation story has some insight that may prove useful. If one is exploring genetic heritage, it is worth considering evolution as a framework in which to pose questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are people that feel a need to reconcile the two frameworks, but teaching children that both frameworks are useful allows them to develop empathy for others - to see that two people can view the same thing and see two different things.  This will allow them to be able to enjoy learning, and when they are faced with perspectives different than their own, they will be able to evaluate them without the emotional necessity of determining absolute truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help your children to love to learn, and to use different frameworks appropriately from a young age.  Don't be afraid to tell them, &quot;I don't know&quot;, to look at questions from different angles, and to expose them to frameworks outside your faith.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want them to develop a strong love for your faith, you merely need to demonstrably and openly live it, and show, by example, how it blesses your life and the life of your family. Teach it, live it, and at the same time help them to understand there's no real conflict, and as they grow they will continue to hold to their faith while learning other fields of thought without necessarily falling away from their faith.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T12:35:57.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19245" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-01T12:55:34.360" Score="0" ViewCount="433" Body="&lt;p&gt;What impact does narcissism, not NPD, have on modern parenting? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user14339" LastEditorDisplayName="user14339" LastEditDate="2016-08-27T17:20:14.267" LastActivityDate="2016-08-27T17:20:14.267" Title="What impact does narcissism, not NPD, have on modern parenting?" Tags="|parents|public-parenting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="18" ClosedDate="2015-04-02T18:02:22.643" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19215" CreationDate="2015-04-01T14:47:42.567" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is one of those areas where daycare is a big help.  Daycare kids - particularly 'center' daycare with 40-50 kids of different ages in different classes running about at all times - in my experience can sleep through anything.  My two both had absolutely no problems sleeping with each other (and they're in a room together, and have been since the younger was about 4-5 months old; before that the younger was in our room).  If you can sleep at daycare, you learn to sleep through anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For kids not in daycare, the noise is an issue.  Can they sleep when you vacuum? Pets crawling on their bed?  If he's okay with those sorts of things, he'll be okay with the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would generally say that the first ~30 minutes of sleep is key to your oldest sleeping through baby waking up later on.  In the first 15-30 minutes you wake much more easily, typically; after 30 minutes usually you hit deeper sleep and can sleep through more noise.  For that, try to time your oldest's and youngest's bedtimes so that they're not quite simultaneous; the youngest should go to bed &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt; and the oldest second, by 30 minutes or so.  Especially true if the oldest is a problem bedtime child like mine (ie, will cry or complain).  This 30 minute difference actually works out pretty well, in our experience at least: put youngest baby to bed, then start bedtime routine with youngest - probably will take about 30 minutes, right?  (If it takes more than 30 minutes to do the routine, possibly have one parent start early.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, it varies by child how easily they wake up.  If your eldest will wake up to relatively little noise, or regularly wakes up at night, you will need to determine what the 'come to Mommy's bed' policy is.  That definitely increased when our oldest was about 3; not sure if that's age related or younger brother related.  I don't think it was due to being sad about younger brother and attention, it seemed to be solely based on waking from dreams or nightmares.  It's mostly stopped now (by 3 1/2).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, most of what you do is going to be based on what happens; you can't really effectively prepare for everything because you don't know how the two will interact, nor how each will sleep necessarily.  Other than some white noise or music to sleep to (which is a good idea regardless of baby!), or perhaps trying to vacuum more, it's unlikely anything you do in the last couple of months will really make much of a difference, physiologically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, talk to your son about what's going to happen, and perhaps talk through the bedtime routine.  He's old enough to understand most of what you tell him.  Let him ask you questions and encourage them.  Getting him on board with the changes will do more than anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T14:47:42.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-01T15:56:31.023" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Science is a tool.  Whether it is good or bad depends on who wields it.  For all the controversy, things that allegedly conflict between science and religion rarely come up in practice.  Personally, I find an evolutionary process to be a rather logical way to effect a creation for someone with infinite time and insight.  Even if I didn't, I had to spend all of a week on Darwin in 9th grade biology, pass a test, and that was it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With young kids, you can just focus on the discovery and exploration.  You don't need to address the controversy until they're prepared to deal with it.  Search &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=science%20kids&quot;&gt;science kids&lt;/a&gt; on Pinterest to get a wealth of fun activities that have absolutely nothing to do with religion.  My kids love these sorts of activities, and learn a lot from them as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T15:56:31.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19250" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19251" CreationDate="2015-04-01T19:36:14.087" Score="3" ViewCount="926" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend has a 7-year-old who, when angered, sometimes expresses his anger in a physical manner such as hitting. We are explaining its not okay to hit; that he needs to use his words to express himself. He's coming a long way from where he was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've recently had a dream which brought an issue with our method to my attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The dream involves him being bullied and I tell the bullies off, only to have the bully's mother confront me in anger, even starting to swing at me. At this point I woke up, because I didn't know how I should respond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first instinct was to demonstrate pacifism. I do believe that not fighting back completely defeats fighting in anger. However, it occurred to me that in the case of bullies like in the dream, I would want him to stand up for himself, not let people walk all over him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are we sending the wrong message? Should we explain that it is okay to defend yourself, but no more than that - or does that just go without saying? How would you demonstrate how to handle an attacker who may or may not be calmed by pacifist means?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastActivityDate="2019-12-19T07:40:34.510" Title="Pacifism vs. Standing up for yourself" Tags="|bullying|hitting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19250" CreationDate="2015-04-01T20:27:28.877" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Standing up for yourself doesn't have to involve violence - and certainly in most cases should not.  I suppose if I were attacked by someone and had literally no viable alternative, I would fight back, but in general I would almost always have a viable alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the key for children in this kind of situation.  You &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; teach him to stand up for himself.  You should also teach him &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to stand up for himself.  This isn't particularly different from teaching him how to express his anger in nonviolent ways, which is a pretty hard thing to explain to a child; in both cases it's a matter of providing tools for dealing with a situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to avoid physical confrontations that aren't avoidable by truly pacifist means is probably to learn martial arts techniques for countering an opponent.  I'm not an expert in martial arts (but I think we have one or two on the board), but from what I do know, some martial arts focus on defending yourself without attacking.  Learning to block and counter attacks gives you the chance to disengage and leave, or at least to have others notice and break up the conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other tools of course are important for avoiding getting in that situation in the first place.  In the case of bullying, in the long term I would hope he would ask for help, either from a teacher or his parents.  This doesn't mean you have to intervene for him, but I would hope he'd ask for help figuring out how to deal with it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the short term, if the bully is physically attacking him, running away is a perfectly valid solution; run away, then address it with the proper authority.  That's hard for a child to do, particularly one who is capable of defending himself, but given the penalties for fighting back - most schools suspend automatically for fighting, at least in the US, regardless of aggressor - it's the best.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For other sorts of physical or mental abuse, there are many different tactics that are appropriate.  Particularly effective is relying on his group of friends for support; bullies are unlikely to be effective when you are in a group, as they can't really physically win that confrontation unless they're in a bigger group - and even then, having the support of your friends often can give you enough strength to withstand them as long as it doesn't get to physical blows.  Ignoring also works well; bullies get bored in many cases if their bullying doesn't have an effect on you.  If you're in a group, this is easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-01T20:27:28.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19245" CreationDate="2015-04-01T21:48:22.307" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My answer comes from my own online research from people who may not be professionals, as well as my own experiences and opinion. I am not a professional in NPD nor have I ever talked with one or been professionally diagnosed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I myself have a few self-diagnosed narcissistic tendencies: I tend to give myself massive amounts of self-esteem (&lt;em&gt;possibly undeserved, but maybe not&lt;/em&gt; ;) which allow me to overcome the &quot;fragile and reactive sense of self&quot; by knowing how truly awesome I am. &lt;em&gt;(I am only partially joking)&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put myself on the scale of the given definition, I believe in myself and what I do, I sometimes evaluate myself unrealistically, I can empathize with other people, and understand their feelings and perspectives. I am not &lt;em&gt;devastated&lt;/em&gt; by criticism, mistakes, or failure - but I do seem more vulnerable than most, My sense of self can withstand life’s ups and downs and people’s opinions - as long as I'm in the right mindset. I can find a lot of fuel by way of praise and admiration. In general, I would say I lean more than the average towards the narcissist side - but not nearly enough for it to be a disorder of any kind. &lt;em&gt;Or is this an inflated view of myself? I may never know.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I am already a very conscious and mindful person - and I do believe it is the best response.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parent in the situation at the store is frustrated. She doesn't understand how the child is feeling at that moment and therefore doesn't know how to respond to it in any way other than express how she feels about the situation, her frustration provides an irrational linkage between her &quot;hurrying&quot; and the crying. &lt;em&gt;I can't deal with (this)[being humiliated in public], and its your fault (this) is happening because you always do (this) when I'm in a hurry&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Had she been more mindful and aware, she may have noticed her feelings of frustration and anger. This is an immediate sign to evaluate. &quot;Why am I angry?&quot;, &quot;Why am I so frustrated?&quot; &quot;Is it really warranted?&quot; She may have realized she is embarrassed of this happening in public, even though it happens all the time to parents in public. Realizing this is crucial because it means she stops judging her worth by how her child is acting at that moment. Having defeated her irrational immediate response, she can calmly and rationally consider the real situation; try to understand where the crying is coming from and consider what the &lt;em&gt;correct&lt;/em&gt; response should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That might seem easy for the typical person, but it is incredibly difficult for people with the full NPD. It is a hard enough struggle for me at times, so I tend to believe it. You have to question your own motives anytime you &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; you might be acting in a narcissistic way. People with NPD may not believe they have the disorder. Even if they do believe, they essentially have to parent themselves before they can parent their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say the final action that helped me the &lt;strong&gt;most&lt;/strong&gt; was finally accepting how much of a narcissist I can be, and that I don't really want to &quot;fix&quot; it - its a part of who I am. I just don't want to hurt the other people in my life because of it. I can't think of any other way to have reached this conclusion without a conscious and mindful approach. Now, when I encounter situations which trigger insecurity and pain I can usually recognize it and attribute it to my narcissism and most importantly &lt;em&gt;love myself for it&lt;/em&gt;. Which, when I think about it, is like turning my narcissism against itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This tactic of being conscious and mindful is impossible if they are not even aware of what they are doing, or won't accept the truth. Because of that, it is nearly impossible to &quot;handle&quot; it in a one-time situation for the sake of somebody else's child. For a one-time situation with your own child, I would probably explain to the child that the person was being irrational because of x and that it was in no way your child's fault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coming from outside the narcissist - It took many repeated examples of how I was being irrational, needy, and unreasonable, before I even began to believe that something was wrong (&lt;em&gt;not with everybody else&lt;/em&gt;) and I might need to find a way to deal with it. At that time I didn't know where the feelings came from or why I felt the way I did with seemingly random little things. However, these examples very nearly drove me away completely because they exactly define what the narcissist doesn't want to hear about themselves - so it may not be &quot;the best&quot; solution to point it out. I am unaware of other strategies unfortunately, so I am not much of a help there. :/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly, in the case where the narcissist is not able or not willing to accept their behavior as wrong, it may mean the best response is to keep away or keep supervision when your child is with a known narcissist so you can stand up for your child or explain any irrational reasoning at a later time. Standing up for the child will result in embarrassment and therefore likely anger in some form from the narcissist - just to be aware.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastEditorUserId="11426" LastEditDate="2015-04-02T18:03:02.437" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T18:03:02.437" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19208" CreationDate="2015-04-02T01:08:35.147" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When it comes to time outs, I have a story and tool, that I have practiced with my daughter. &#xA;She is 12 years old, very stuborn, get very angry and anxious,  if things do not go her way, which usually resulted in her bad temper and being disrespectful. &#xA;She does not listen or follow anything I asked her to do.&#xA;I know,that she has difficulties, which she does not talk about, but I have started using time outs every time when she has nit complied with our house rule. I must say, that first she did not take me seriously.&#xA;But one day, I have made it very clear what will hapoen if she breaks the rules again.&#xA;Not even a week went by and along with a time out I had to put in place one of the most serious consequences, that she could ever imagine. I made her to loose one of her most favourite items her  ' Mobile Phone ' for more than a whole months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It must have been a big shock to her, as my husband and I have never had to repete this consequence again and my daughter was even thanking me for teaching her the valuable lesson about following rules and respecting adults as well as others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14352" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T01:08:35.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-02T08:11:19.120" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer the part of your question about how should you teach science and help engender a passion for science in your kids,  I would suggest that focus on science as experimentation and investigation of the world we live in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What happens when we add this to that,  count how long between thunder and lighting. What falls faster, a feather or a leaf. How big a tower can you build out of lego without it falling over Etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only is this a great way to start learning about the world and how it works, but your wife and community surely cannot be unhappy with your children investigating and learning about the awesome wonderous world that God has created for us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="910" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T08:11:19.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-02T09:26:21.563" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It strikes me that discussion of science and religion, while seeking out different kinds of truth, need not get wrapped up in questions of certainty and belief, at least not in the first place. First, both religious faith and science involve radical kinds of &lt;em&gt;doubt&lt;/em&gt;: faith without doubt is pretty empty (no 'leap') and science without doubt is just incoherent. So perhaps one route into the discussion is to talk about the different ways we think about and seek to be human through doubt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, from the little I know about Judaism (I'm very happy to be corrected of course), it emphasises practice and routine as a route to the divine. Perhaps ideas of practice and ritual are also good routes into the conversation: that both seek their kinds of truth through pretty strict believes about what it is to &lt;em&gt;practice&lt;/em&gt; the search for truth, why ritual is so important, what it communicates to others, and why it is special. So (that I understand it) God is to be found through the laws as practices, and scientific truth is a facet of a kind of ritualised method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps. In short: there are many ways of thinking about truth and perhaps sometimes the special thing to focus on is the search.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6901" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T09:26:21.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19250" CreationDate="2015-04-02T13:39:14.537" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;@Joe's answer is excellent but I believe that the real question here lies more in how to teach a child when violence is unacceptable vs. when it may be ok.  I believe that it comes down to the motivations behind the violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using violence out of frustration or anger or a desire to have power over others is wrong.  Being the aggressor or instigator of a violent conflict is wrong.  What you are teaching this boy is right, in that hitting people because you are mad is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The situation where someone else takes a swing at you and you have to defend yourself is different and the distinction is important (and is really what you need to teach this kid).  Your friend's son needs to know that he should always try to avoid and diffuse conflict through non-violent means.  He also needs to know that sometimes that just won't work and that defending himself is acceptable.  Defending means getting the fight to stop, not letting someone take a swing at you then using that as an excuse to beat them to a pulp.  (Again, this turns back to being aggressive, even tho there was a &quot;reason&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, growing up if I had gotten in a fight at school and got suspended the amount of trouble I got in would have been related to why I fought.  If I instigated the fight there would have been hell to pay when I got home.  If all I did was defend myself I wouldn't have gotten in any trouble at all with my parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, he needs to learn that violence is a last, &lt;em&gt;and only a last&lt;/em&gt;, resort.  And even then to only use a minimal amount.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T13:39:14.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19208" CreationDate="2015-04-02T15:30:07.627" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that your time outs are too micromanaged and rare to be effective. All the additional &quot;rules&quot; end up clouding the purpose of the punishment, which is to remove the child from the situation and not let them have attention. By making yourself expend so much energy getting the time outs just right, you're using them less often than would be effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use the 1-2-3 Magic method, based on the book &lt;em&gt;1-2-3 Magic&lt;/em&gt; by Thomas Whelan. Here's one of the things it says about disciplining children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The two biggest mistakes that parents and teachers make in &#xA;  dealing with children are these: Too Much Talking and Too Much Emotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if Too Much Emotion is one of your problems, but I believe Too Much Talking likely is. Keep it short and simple. &quot;You're in time out, [x] minutes.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have them go to their time out destination, and then leave. You should only need to intervene again if they leave their time out room/area. Afterwards, no discussion is really necessary unless the child doesn't know &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they were in time out. Generally, if the child gets a time out for being obnoxious or disrespectful &lt;em&gt;they already know why they got the time out&lt;/em&gt;, so that additional talking isn't necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they're in their area, the timer should start. Don't wait, or try to discuss the conditions of the time out, as that's just a power struggle with no victor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once done, it's done. The time out is over and everyone moves on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also be limiting yourself by trying to control their actions and environment too much. Here's another excerpt from the book:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does the room have to be a sterile environment?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  No. Many books tell you the time-out room should be modeled after a cell in a state penitentiary. Complete and utter boredom—that’ll teach ’em! This is unnecessary. The child can go to the room and read, take a nap, play with Legos, draw and so on. She doesn’t even have to stay on her bed. Just to be safe, though, there are three things that are forbidden: no phone, no friends with and no electronic entertainment.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Some people ask: “Well then, just how is a rest period supposed to work? My kid tells me that time out’s fine with her—she doesn’t care and she’ll just go upstairs and play.” Don’t pay much attention to any child who says, “I don’t care.” That comment usually means the opposite: She does care. And if her room were such a great place to be, she would have already been up there.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The fact of the matter is, the power of the 1-2-3 does not come so much from the time out itself; it usually comes from the interruption of the child’s activities. It just so happens that when this girl was timed out for hitting her brother, she was watching her favorite TV show, Garfield. Now she has to miss a big chunk of the show. No one—including you—likes to be interrupted so you miss out on something fun.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you really feel the time out is not effective, consider three things. First, are you still talking too much and getting too emotional during discipline efforts? Parental outbursts ruin everything. Second, if you feel you are remaining calm and time out is still not working, consider another time-out place or room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son goes to timeout in his bedroom. We only make sure he doesn't have battery-operated toys, and that he doesn't get into my wife's desk. Otherwise, he has free reign. We make him start out on his bed (and sometimes touching the wall), but that's more to get his head into the &quot;I'm in time out&quot; mode than anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll end up playing with toys, or grabbing books, but we really don't care. We know he doesn't &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be in time out, because he'll come &lt;em&gt;running&lt;/em&gt; out of his room once the timer goes off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And here's why I think your &quot;semi-public&quot; timeouts aren't effective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can you use a time-out chair instead of a room?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  You can use a stair or a chair for a time out (don’t use a corner of the room), but only if the child does not make a game out of the situation. Some kids, for example, sit on the chair at first, but then start gradually losing contact with it. Eventually they may just be touching their little finger to the chair and looking at you like, “What are you going to do about this?” If your rule for time out is simply that the child must stay in contact with the chair, this is no problem. Just don’t pay any attention to the youngster. But if the child is getting on and off or away from the chair and you’re uncertain what to do, this kind of game will ruin the discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We usually prefer that visual contact between parent and child be broken during the rest period, so the child can’t tease or provoke you. That’s why the child’s bedroom or other safe room is preferable. Many parents, however, have successfully used stairs and chairs and many report that the kids—even some wild ones!—sit still on them, don’t talk and don’t keep getting off. As a matter of fact, parents are often very creative in coming up with places for time outs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notice, here, that the main reason for not using line-of-sight time out locations is because it encourages the adult to monitor or talk to the child about their time out conduct. Every time you end up talking with them, the time out is losing its effectiveness. Essentially, the child is able to punish &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; by keeping &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; from what you're doing. You can't let them get a reaction or a response out of you. They should be out of sight, out of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Effective time outs (or time out alternatives) shouldn't be rare or last-resort initiatives. They should be the first-line of discipline to be used effectively. At first, this may result in your child spending a large amount of time in time outs, which is fine. They'll learn how boring it is to be constantly sequestered away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, even though time outs should be the primary tool of your disciplinary arsenal, they shouldn't just be given immediately for all misbehavior. The reason the 1-2-3 method works is because it gives the child time to self-correct their behavior. Whichever method you use, I recommend a warning system where they have an opportunity to avoid a time out. That's really the goal, anyway. The warning should be delivered in a calm, matter-of-fact voice, the same way the time out itself would be delivered. (Certain behaviors, like hitting you, are always immediate time outs.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they don't stop their misbehavior after about 5 seconds of warning, then proceed to your next warning or time out as necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be most effective, time outs need to be given consistently. The same types of behaviors should always get a warning/time out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T15:30:07.627" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-02T15:35:20.727" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wonderful question!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can steer away from the dogma that the written Word is literal truth (with all the contortions you have to go through to reconcile internal inconsistencies), you can focus on the bigger picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Science and exploration comes naturally to small children. Fill a balloon with helium and watch it float up. Plant seeds or bulbs in the spring and watch them grow. Buy fertilized eggs and let them hatch. Play with water, weights, levers, heat, light (prisms and burning stuff by focusing sunlight with a magnifier were my favorites).  Go online and look at the pictures that Hubble has taken. Browse through back copies of National Geographic. Hike the woods, and see how life is everywhere. Exploration becomes science without ever needing the name. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once your children are hooked on the beauty of creation, you can re-establish the link:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This is the world that our Creator made, we need to look after it and each other, and follow the teachings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will feel completely natural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11159" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T15:35:20.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10475" CreationDate="2015-04-02T19:34:27.080" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am Indian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In India, co-sleeping is common, and children can hear parents having sex. Children don’t know what is bad or good. If they see their parents having sex, and the parents don’t freak out or panic, then I think the child will not panic as either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider if a child saw his mom/dad taking a bath. If mom/dad tells their child. “honey, do you want to ask me something?&quot; the child will probably say something, or leave. Parents can tell the child “honey, wait until I come out”. That’s why Naturism-Nudism families don’t make big deal about nudity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise it is not damaging to your kid if you handle it properly. Let them learn from every step of your life. It is not bad until you make them believe that it is bad. Watching parents having sex is not equal to killing, hitting, taking drugs, etc. It is equal to sleeping, taking baths, having food, or kissing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14362" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-02T20:44:12.990" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T20:44:12.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19262" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-02T21:07:09.723" Score="3" ViewCount="2725" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know that a hot water bottle is used in the beginning to pre-warm the bed as infants cannot control their own body temperature - but at what point of time can you stop using them? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our bedroom (our baby sleeps in a bassinet) usually has a temperature of about 19-20°C (66-68°F).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T03:03:14.507" Title="How long do you need to use a hot water bottle to warm an infant's bed?" Tags="|sleep|temperatures|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19263" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-02T21:17:46.570" Score="1" ViewCount="661" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the books I'm reading, &quot;Your Baby Week by Week&quot; by Simone Cave and Dr Caroline Fertleman, states in week 6: &quot;As your baby becomes more sociable, he'll start to resist falling asleep because he'd rather stay awake and play. So instead of dropping off to sleep (...), your baby will actually fight sleep because he's excited about his newly discovered world.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As my baby sleep extremely little during the day, I was surprised to read this paragraph as I was suspecting that he's already resisting falling asleep during daytime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T06:24:25.380" Title="At what age will babies start resisting sleep?" Tags="|behavior|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19262" CreationDate="2015-04-02T21:28:49.493" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We never did this at all and our kids have always gone to bed quite well so I'd say you can stop whenever you wish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, if we assume that they enjoy the sensation then the sooner you stop, the shorter the period of resistance/unhappiness at the change will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T21:28:49.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19265" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-02T21:37:36.120" Score="2" ViewCount="6696" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is turning 3 this June. I am really frustrated the past few weeks about my son's cheek biting habit. He started daycare last July and changed to another daycare in September last year. He had been jealous about his baby brother, who was born in May last year, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He started having canker sore late September last year, and we have given him pain meds to help. He had it off and on for a couple of times. The most recent time was last month. He said his mouth hurts and then we checked and it wasn't canker sore. According to the dentist, he was biting both sides - way into the back of the mouth, maybe inside cheek by his molars. His dentist thought the cuts were not from biting, since they're vertical. Biting only causes horizontal sores. He thought it's from the injury from objects put in his mouth. It happened a while back in daycare. Not sure if it's been there that long since that happened about two months ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His dentist's suggestion is to wean him off with the ring, and give pain meds and once it works for him, he won't ask for the teething ring anymore. In my son's mind, teething ring equals no pain. He asked for the teething ring, and we gave it to him, but he has been using it for over 3 weeks now. We wanted to break this habit, but if we take away the ring, he starts crying and screaming. So we'd given in. But I am so frustrated since he will be drooling and with a silly ring in mouth for day and night. We are going on vacation next week, and hope we can try to wean him off the teething ring. He is otherwise happy and takes the ring out of his mouth when eating. He also likes to bite my hair, and likes to touch my hair for comforting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This week, I played with him quite a bit and he was doing OK without the ring. But as soon as he goes back to daycare, he asks for the ring. Now once again, he wanted the ring all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to wean our 3-year-old off his teething ring?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14363" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-18T12:16:23.973" LastActivityDate="2019-07-18T12:16:23.973" Title="How to wean our almost 3-year-old off his teething ring?" Tags="|toddler|habits|teeth|soothing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19265" CreationDate="2015-04-02T21:57:28.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We took my daughter's pacifier away when she was almost 3 (my son never got attached to one).  We told her weeks in advance that we'd hang it on the Christmas Tree and Santa would leave an extra present in exchange.  We reminded her frequently so it wouldn't be a surprise and she could mentally prepare for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She cried a bit on Christmas Eve and missed it for about a week afterwards, then it was done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if the exchange/bribe is &quot;right&quot; or the &quot;best thing&quot; but what I do feel is important is that she bought into it and agreed to it and had a say in it (even if coerced just a bit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was never any question about going back.  If she had screamed and cried after it was done, we would have comforted her and then put her to bed and then let her learn to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are amazingly capable and resilient... even if they don't want to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T21:57:28.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19265" CreationDate="2015-04-02T22:10:42.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he's had some stressful changes in his life. He has been using a method of self-soothing that's working for him, but working less well for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting it into perspective a little bit, he can continue to bite the inside of his cheek, which not only predisposes him to canker sores, but can actually cause cancer (in a few decades, if he continues to do it - any source of chronic inflammation/accellerated cell division seen in healing can lead to cancer), as well as become a lifelong habit. Or he can use the teething ring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the teething ring is out, you can ask him if he'd like to suck his thumb instead (my husband actually suggested this to one of my children, who promptly became a thumb sucker, a habit we had to break her of 3 years later! Thanks a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt;, DH!) Or take him to the store and let him pick out a plush toy that comforts him when stroking, that he can carry around with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many options you can choose. However, with the stressors he has had and will likely still have in the next few months, he needs a way to self-soothe, and a teething ring (or other) is a lot better than even minor self-injury. I would be a bit worried about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bruxism/basics/definition/con-20029395&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bruxism&lt;/a&gt; if you take the ring away without supplying an alternative self-soothing device. The treatment of bruxism can be quite surprising. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My recommendation is to let him have it, or a substitute, for now. Three weeks isn't a very long time. Maybe the dentist can give you recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try to take it from him when he is less jealous and more accepting of his sibling. It does eventually happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T22:10:42.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19263" CreationDate="2015-04-02T22:17:08.893" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my un-professional opinion, every baby is very different, and sleeps different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have 2 kids, and what it took to make them sleep as an infant was different, and how much they want to sleep is different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always remember those milestones, behaviors and so forth are averages, not about specific babies.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-04-02T22:17:08.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19262" CreationDate="2015-04-03T03:03:14.507" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the temperatures you listed, there's no real need to warm the bed/blankets up before placing the baby down. Those are normal temperatures, and your baby won't be harmed by not warming up the blankets ahead of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The helpful guideline given to us by our last hospital &amp;amp; midwifery was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dress your infant in one more layer than &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are comfortable in.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since it's not feasible (or always safe) to add whole layers to a sleeping baby, you can replace thinner layers with thicker layers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if you're only using a thin blanket and sparse pajamas, then your baby will probably be better off in full pajamas and a swaddled blanket. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the temperatures you listed, we dressed my son in footed pajamas, a hat, and swaddled him in a swaddling blanket. Once he was old enough to keep taking the hat off, we removed that. Once he aged out of being swaddled, we'd just leave him in pajamas and cover him loosely in the blanket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your only major concern with removing the hot water bottle is that your baby might be used to laying their head down on the soft, warm surface at night. Their head is probably the only part of their body where bare skin comes into contact with the cool sheets. So, to fix this, vigorously rub the general area of the bassinet where your baby's head will be. The friction from the rubbing will warm up the area enough to be comfortable for your baby. I often did this for my son when he was a newborn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T03:03:14.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19265" CreationDate="2015-04-03T06:14:23.930" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The cheek biting can be a transient tic.  With tics, the more you try to legislate, the more entrenched it can get.  When you get involved in a fairly pointless tug-of-war, it can be very effective to gently let go of the rope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of ways you can turn this so that your son gets some aspects of maturation while still satisfying his sensory needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;vary the sensory input -- raw carrots, for example, are big at my house.  Some children enjoy playing with an ice cube, moving it around in the mouth while it melts.  There are special flossers that are easier for children to use.  At this point, perfect technique is less important than getting used to the concept of flossing.  Bubble water flavored with a little lemon juice or vanilla.  Water-pik.  Chewing gum.  Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;you could assign a new responsibility along with giving a reprieve from the no-teething-ring policy.  Some simple housework task that must be done before the child may go to the freezer to get a fresh teething ring (this is assuming he likes them cold, like my son does).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can buy a couple of new shapes, for variety, and to prevent over-dependence on &lt;em&gt;one particular&lt;/em&gt; item.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With cheek biting, I have found it helpful to make sure my child is getting lots of vitamin C (both food and supplement).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T06:14:23.930" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19229" CreationDate="2015-04-03T06:19:41.897" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be hard to map everything out exactly in advance.  And even if you do -- babies have a mind of their own, and are sometimes known to turn well-made plans upside down!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we were expecting, we visited a couple of parents of young babies, to get some ideas about furniture.  One of them gave us some great (non-furniture) advice -- she said, while you're expecting, read as much as you can about breastfeeding!  And she lent us her copy of the book by La Leche League.  It was good advice, and we were glad later that we followed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've got plenty of time still -- but it might be helpful for you to do some reading about breastfeeding mothers' experiences.  One possibility would be &lt;em&gt;The Breastfeeding Cafe&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also visit a La Leche League meeting in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-10-08T02:32:19.793" LastActivityDate="2016-10-08T02:32:19.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19263" CreationDate="2015-04-03T06:24:25.380" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The goal is to discover a napping pattern that works for your baby, or perhaps I should say, to gently coax your baby into a napping pattern.  Obviously, in the early weeks, the pattern is no pattern!  But as your baby gets a little bit older, patterning starts to become possible.  This is a first step in a little one's maturation process, the process of learning self-regulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any questions about this along the way, please write again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T06:24:25.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19225" CreationDate="2015-04-03T06:50:08.720" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My teenager is unfortunately much less interested in Mama's opinions about such things than yours is!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, since I don't get to give much advice at home to anyone, here goes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be hurtful to cut someone off completely without any warning.  This could be especially painful and awkward given the proximity of your houses.  If your daughter hasn't already done this, I think she should lay out some boundaries with her friend.  For example, &quot;Hi Jack, you and I know each other pretty well by now, and I know that that porn you sent me was an expression of your own personal sense of humor; and I know that you're a person of strong convictions, and that you care about me and are unhappy when you think I'm thinking or doing something foolish.  I get all of that.  But I don't ever want you to send me any porn again.  It makes me really uncomfortable.&quot; And so on, for whatever other boundaries she might want to set.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, she should work on developing other friendships to a greater extent, as a way of balancing things out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, he will respect the boundaries she lays out.  However, if it ever does become necessary for her to block him electronically, I think she should send him a short, old-fashioned letter, communicating her decision to him, but in as non-hurtful a way as possible, for example, &quot;I need a break from contact with you, Jack.  A time-out.  I wish you all the best for the rest of your senior year (or whatever).&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should express your concerns to his parents.  Teenagers are sometimes dealing with internal demons, and it sounds like this boy has his share -- but at this time, at least, I don't hear any really serious red flags.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have enough altruism, good will, and time to spare, you could certainly reach out in friendship to the boy and his family, and keep the lines of communication open.  Perhaps occasional contact with a warm, friendly neighbor will make getting through adolescence just a tiny bit easier for him (and the two adults that have to live with him!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T06:50:08.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19215" CreationDate="2015-04-03T06:56:39.747" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to get your toddler on as regular a sleep and nap schedule as you can during this time.  Experiment with different types of noise.  We have a soundscape gadget with about 6 different sound patterns to choose from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can elevate the head of the bed to help with congestion, and also put an anti-dust mite cover on the mattress.  If you can find one that's not too noisy for the pillow, great, otherwise, put the pillow in the freezer for a couple of hours every few weeks to kill the dust mites.  Many, many people are allergic to dust mites without realizing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, I would not watch action movies without headphones.  A child sometimes hears violent stuff on the parents' television and this can be frightening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know, you can put your baby to sleep in a stroller, and then move him/her around the apartment without disturbing him/her!  Of course, you don't want to do this all night every night -- but you might find this gives you a little extra flexibility at times!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T06:56:39.747" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7813" CreationDate="2015-04-03T07:14:09.867" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you heard of the low-carb diet?  It really knocks out the cravings.  But for it to work, you must drastically reduce the carbs.  Not just the sweets -- also the complex carbohydrates.  Especially the refined ones.  It's not sufficient to up the protein.  You have to up the protein AND drastically reduce the carbs at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Low carb works best when the whole family goes low-carb together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter were allergic to peanuts, to the point that you had to take her to the emergency room if she ingested some by accident, you would read labels when shopping and ensure that there were no peanut products in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would simply stop buying food containing dairy.  It's only hard in the beginning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we started the low-carb diet, my son's cravings decreased dramatically in less than a week.  (And they were approximately as out of control as your daughter's!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T07:14:09.867" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14452" CreationDate="2015-04-03T17:45:28.103" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In your case &lt;strong&gt;I wouldn't insist on a new model&lt;/strong&gt; instead of the one you already received. I am confident that the retailer can get the correct gliders for you, and that'll resolve the matter for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been minor evolutionary changes to the Tripp Trapp over the past 40 years that I've known the product. Amazingly, put an ancient one next to a brand-new one and you can barely tell them apart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest change is that the infant seat is no longer a vertical leather strap, secured between a slit in the seat and a wooden horizontal bar. That strap and bar has now been replaced by a molded plastic shape.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The gliders you refer to is a relatively new addition, too. They're only needed while the child is small, to prevent the chair from tipping backward. Apparently they changed the distance of the mounting holes. I guess that product changes are only made in order to adapt to newer safety regulations, but I can't think why the hole distance would have to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2015-04-03T17:45:28.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-03T19:39:02.077" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;For me there has been no serious difficulty in reconciling the principles of true science with the principles of true religion, for both are concerned with the eternal verities of the universe.&quot; - Dr. Henry Eyring, chemist&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These words from Dr. Eyring have motivated me in my own life as I simultaneously pursue a Ph.D. in astrophysics while being very active in my own religious faith.  I have realized that both science and religion are primarily concerned with the finding out and application of the truth that exists in the universe and that any supposed discrepancies between the two are due to our imperfect understanding of one, the other, or both.  Dr. Eyring has also said, &quot;Some have asked me: 'Is there any conflict between science and religion?' There is no conflict in the mind of God, but often there is conflict in the minds of men.&quot;  Our understanding of both science and religion is as yet imperfect and so we can expect, at best, an imperfect harmony between the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I think the most important thing is &lt;strong&gt;teach your children to highly value, seek out, and live by truth&lt;/strong&gt; no matter the source, then explain that science and religion are both important and valuable ways that we use to discover truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13340" LastEditorUserId="13340" LastEditDate="2015-08-17T15:00:38.060" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T15:00:38.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19287" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19288" CreationDate="2015-04-03T21:13:14.723" Score="9" ViewCount="942" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been tutoring a child, and over the past months I have come to the conclusion that the parents allow the child to stop when things are getting hard. The child has from my view only little willpower, persistence, and discipline, and instead of dealing with difficult situations and working through them, the attitude is to drop the situation. Also I don't see the child having much self confidence, in terms of &quot;he doesn't believe in himself&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate to make conclusions like this, especially because I can't say that I see everything that goes on every day, but there have been a large number of incidents and stories that I heard, that lead me to believe this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just came across a paragraph in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.karikampakis.com/2013/11/10-common-mistakes-parents-today-make-me-included/#sthash.vvrHGdph.dpuf&quot;&gt;a blog article&lt;/a&gt; that describes very well what I see is in the making:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;a record number of 20-somethings who are depressed and don’t know why.&#xA;  These young adults claim they had magical childhoods. Their parents&#xA;  are their best friends. They never experienced tragedy or anything&#xA;  more than normal disappointments. Yet for some reason, they’re&#xA;  unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...parents today are too quick to swoop in. We don’t want our children to fall, so instead of letting them experience adversity, we clear the path. We remove obstacles to make their life easy. But adversity is a part of life, and only by facing it can our children build life-coping skills they’ll need down the road.      &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;“&lt;strong&gt;Many parents will go to do anything to protect their kids from even&#xA;    mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment—’anything less than&#xA;    pleasant’&lt;/strong&gt;—with the result that when, as adults, they experience the&#xA;    normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly&#xA;    wrong.” - psychiatrist Dr. Paul Bohn  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;While I find it great that today’s parents are more invested in their children’s lives than previous generations, our involvement can go overboard. ...Unless we’re mindful of that, it’s easy to handicap them by making their lives too easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As my favorite parenting philosophy goes: &lt;strong&gt;“Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.”&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see this issue manifested in quite a few ways, and I feel there has to be a line drawn somewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way that I could communicate this to the parents? Plant a seed in their head, at least give them perspective, make them think about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or what else would be a good way for me to deal with this and put closure to it, at least so that I stop worrying about the child. I get very passionate about this, and feel many things should be handled differently, but obviously I am not in a place to have much say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I as someone who is not the parent deal with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11901" LastEditorUserId="11901" LastEditDate="2015-04-03T21:39:36.743" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T13:53:25.263" Title="Dealing with overprotective parents - is there anything I can do?" Tags="|extended-family|problem-solving-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19287" CreationDate="2015-04-03T23:09:26.883" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you have learned from your own reading, this is a common problem today, and probably results in part from the erroneous ways parents in the last few decades tried to give their children &quot;self esteem&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the article I cite, the author discusses what they call &quot;the inverse power of praise&quot;. A short excerpt (edited for brevity):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Since Thomas could walk, he has heard constantly that he’s smart. ...in kindergarten, his intelligence was statistically confirmed. But as he progressed through school, this self-awareness that he’s smart hasn’t translated into confidence when attacking his schoolwork. In fact, Thomas’s father noticed just the opposite. “Thomas didn’t want to try things he wouldn’t be successful at,” his father says. “Some things came very quickly to him, but when they didn’t, he gave up almost immediately, concluding, ‘I’m not good at this.’ ” Thomas was dividing the world into two — things he was naturally good at and things he wasn’t. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be hesitant to advise you, as the tutor, on how to tell the parents what you might think they have done incorrectly. However, you can try something different, and if it works for you and your student, by all means, share it with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praise has been shown to be of benefit in academic settings - even applied as late as middle school - if the praise is of the right sort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Provided that praise is perceived as sincere, it is particularly beneficial to motivation when it encourages performance attributions to controllable causes, promotes autonomy, enhances competence without an over-reliance on social comparisons, and conveys attainable standards and expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, praising children for things they are able to control, like &lt;em&gt;effort&lt;/em&gt; (&quot;I admire the way you tried on this problem&quot;), rather than an &lt;em&gt;uncontrollable factor&lt;/em&gt; like intelligence, had a much greater beneficial effect on children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Figure out how to teach the things you want your pupil to learn - not just academically, but how to apply himself and persist when faced with a challenge - and reward him with sincere praise whenever he follows your advice. If he's starting to &quot;get it&quot;, praise him to his parents in front of him. Maybe together with his parents, another reward can be worked towards as well (never underestimate the power of the perfect &lt;s&gt;bribe&lt;/s&gt; reward.) Contrary to how it seems, most kids really want to be successful; it's just that sometimes they don't know how, and need lots of encouragement to learn. If possible, make a game out of it from time to time: a friendly competition or a joke can alleviate stress if done well.&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt; But imparting the tools for success is a serious business. Teaching kids that &lt;em&gt;failure&lt;/em&gt; is momentary and instructive, instead of a reflection on them personally - destigmatizing and downplaying it - may help with their anxiety. Encouraging a &lt;em&gt;growth mindset&lt;/em&gt; (achievement is an ongoing process: I can change this with work and direction) instead of a &lt;em&gt;set mindset&lt;/em&gt; (I'm no good at this. I never will be.) can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, it's possible that the parents have relinquished their parental responsibility to remain involved in their child's academic success by hiring a tutor (I hope it's just the opposite.) In this case, discussing working &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; them might be helpful as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt;I once told a group of middle school students in a somewhat difficult class I was teaching (Latin) that I was going to give them advice that would change their lives forever. With a very straight face, I told them first to join their fingers together and close their eyes; I told them to take a deep breath and exhale slowly while emptying their minds of all distractions. When all was silent, I said solemnly, &quot;Repeat after me. Read the Instructions. Follow the example.&quot; Everyone started to laugh but I made them repeat it again. To me, this was something that the students skipped through too quickly. It really is a life skill to slow down, make sure you read the instructions, and that you understand them by working the example. More than a few parents came to me over the next few weeks to tell me how much their kids liked the &quot;lesson&quot;.&lt;sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably have resources available to you which address how to help an adolescent to study. Do share those with the parents so that consistency is maintained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bradthiessen.com/html5/m340/4j%20HowNottoTalk.pdf&quot;&gt;How Not to Talk to Your Kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1307908/&quot;&gt;Vicarious reinforcement: Expected and unexpected effects&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/learning/tips-for-helping-kids-and-teens-with-homework-and-study-habits/&quot;&gt;Tips For Helping Kids and Teens With Homework and Study Habits&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201005/motivating-your-adolescent-perform&quot;&gt;Motivating your adolescent to perform&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=fdjqz0TPL2wC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PA3&amp;amp;dq=helping+an+adolescent+with+their+schoolwork+Carol+Dweck&amp;amp;ots=Bi35WMDGMG&amp;amp;sig=fYtBgjfqHRXjbyaRr5P-qDI2Yeo#v=onepage&amp;amp;q&amp;amp;f=false&quot;&gt;Mindset: The New Psychology of Success&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED542543.pdf&quot;&gt;Teaching Adolescents To Become Learners&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-04T07:54:47.177" LastActivityDate="2015-04-04T07:54:47.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19289" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-04T12:38:34.337" Score="1" ViewCount="270" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 28-month-old girl absolutely refuses to poop. We started potty training a week ago and she does perfect with pee. But she went to poop and freaked out. Crying and gagging is all I got... That was on a Monday, it's now Saturday morning and not more poop. She even told me I don't want to poop ever never... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help! I figured by now it would have to come out... Apparently not... We've tried everything big potty little potty rewards... I hate to give her something to go and her have diarrhea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14385" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-26T13:04:12.843" LastActivityDate="2018-09-26T13:04:12.843" Title="How can I convince my 28-month-old it's ok to poop?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-04-05T14:01:06.697" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19292" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-04T18:38:37.593" Score="6" ViewCount="274" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is starting kindergarten soon, at a public school in California. We've always done family adventures, lasting weeks and months. Backpacking trips, sailing trips, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a few years, I'd like to do a trip that starts around May, and ends in October. Regular school lets out in June, and starts in September. I'm curious for recommendations on how to approach the school with our plans. I don't want my daughter to lose an entire school year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My thinking right now is along these lines:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put in extra work with my daughter so that the year she's leaving early we get all school assignments done in advance. Obviously class projects won't be so smooth, but I imagine the content and learning objectives can be met.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put in extra work during our family trip on the year she'd be showing up late to. We'd make sure that any assignments were met and hopefully surpassed. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is an educator (high school teacher), and I taught my daughter a lot of pre-school lessons out of work books and the such. If this was her senior year in high school I don't know if we'd be up for the workload, but as a 2nd or 3rd grader I feel like this is well within our scope. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How should I approach my daughter's school in regards to wanting to cut the school year short in the spring and again in the fall one year?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9911" LastEditorUserId="9911" LastEditDate="2015-04-04T22:22:49.070" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T14:53:15.907" Title="Negotiating a shorter school year in a US public elementary school" Tags="|primary-schooler|travel|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19292" CreationDate="2015-04-04T23:12:05.957" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;While you may attempt a negotiation by stressing the educational value of the trip, you may need to withdraw your daughter from school and re-enroll her when you return. Schools in the US aren't generally very vacation-friendly, despite the educational value of the trip. This may not be an option, though, with a charter school, as you may lose your place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some states, including California, tie funding to attendance - schools lose money for unexcused absences. They use a system of Average Daily Attendance (ADA). The state is not going to fund students who are not attending school. If schools allow the practice of approved vacationing, then lots of people would do it, and they would suffer a drop in funding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, ADA statistics may be used to demonstrate adequate progress for No Child Left Behind. If your child's school is not academically strong, this may also affect their willingness to allow unexcused absences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kpbs.org/news/2011/jun/27/chronically-absent-students-cost-county-schools-mi/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Chronically Absent Students Cost Schools Millions (California)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=&amp;amp;esrc=s&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=4&amp;amp;cad=rja&amp;amp;uact=8&amp;amp;ved=0CDUQFjAD&amp;amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fleg.wa.gov%2FSenate%2FCommittees%2FEDU%2FDocuments%2FAverageDailyAttendance.pdf&amp;amp;ei=Lj0hVbKxPIKSsAWX74DoDA&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNH5gK7x8syGSttcrO1leBh1Wwphxw&amp;amp;sig2=1Bb9o_KjLdOdvYHHTV-W8Q&amp;amp;bvm=bv.89947451,d.b2w&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Average Daily Attendance (rules, Washington)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://tea.texas.gov/Finance_and_Grants/State_Funding/State_Funding_Reports_and_Data/Average__Daily_Attendance_and_Wealth_per_Average_Daily_Attendance/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Average Daily Attendance...significant impact on funding (TX)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=&amp;amp;esrc=s&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=4&amp;amp;ved=0CDMQFjAD&amp;amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.statesman.com%2Fnews%2Fnews%2Flocal-education%2Fcentral-texas-students-absences-cost-districts-mil%2FnRqB5%2F&amp;amp;ei=J0IhVaPROcLysAXPwICAAQ&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNFGSHP6kB22sWxjV2U6lXtpMSEdeQ&amp;amp;sig2=mOBNac_8D2N2a_lwDwnMTg&amp;amp;bvm=bv.89947451,d.b2w&amp;amp;cad=rja&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Central Texas Students' Absences Cost Districts Millions&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.forbes.com/sites/ashoka/2014/09/05/whats-a-day-of-school-worth-29-today-154-billion-tomorrow/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What's a Day of School Worth (Forbes)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2015-04-05T14:53:15.907" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T14:53:15.907" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19292" CreationDate="2015-04-04T23:57:04.710" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations on your adventuresome family! It sounds like a wonderful opportunity for your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is eminently doable, and you'll have surprisingly little trouble carrying this out. The simplest way is what I'll describe first. (May vary by state)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By law, every year every teacher must file official goals and objectives for the year on every subject taught, and often lesson plans as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you know which elementary school years you want to travel, start looking for this information which is filed with the school district superintendent's office; the school principal will have copies as well, but I'd start with the district myself. (You might find a lot of this information for online. Search goals and objectives/expectations/reading lists/ etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get the same teachers' G&amp;amp;Os that will be teaching your daughter the rest of that year, that will help you to know exactly what the teachers want your daughter to learn in her absence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the school will lend you all the books and workbooks (except for teacher's answer keys and teaching/teacher's edition of the book) the kids will use during those years. You might have to pay a refundable fee for the books to guarantee their condition on return. Obviously, you pay for any books you might lose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the school year before you go, once you find out who her teacher will be for the year to come, make an appointment to meet with both teachers. Lightly peruse the textbooks, the workbooks, the reading list, and brush up on the G&amp;amp;Os/expectations before meeting with them. Tell them your plans, explain how you will cover all the required material you've read about, and sell them on the wonderful opportunities your daughter will have, especially what she can learn on her adventure - a second language, marine biology, exposure to a foreign culture - all of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offer to give them a copy of your own G&amp;amp;Os (you can just discretely copy), and a sample of lesson plans (you only need one or two per subject for such a short absence) if they wants to see them. Ask their opinions of special projects your daughter can do based on your trip, and offer double the number of projects your daughter would be expected to do in school. Offer to do a skyped or taped special presentation on some incredible aspect of your trip. (This will also keep your daughter in the teachers' and students' minds.) This should buy you a lot of goodwill. They will probably have to meet with the principal, and you might too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then off you go, and make sure you do all of it and more. Keep all the worksheets, tests, etc. to turn over to the teachers on your return (graded, indexed by subject in a binder, of course, and with a summary of grades, etc.) You'll be schooling one student, which can be done in a fraction of the time it takes to teach an entire class because there's no waiting on other students to get their books out, to ask questions, to line up for recess, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The harder way is to pull your daughter out of school and file to homeschool. If this is the route you take, you'll have to file a bit more paperwork with your school district. Search for the laws regarding homeschooling in California, e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://a2zhomeschooling.com/laws/united_states/california_home_school_laws/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. Or, you can call your district supervisors office and ask them for guidelines. If you want to pay, there are often for-profit organizations which will do it for you. Mostly they prey on the insecurities of homeschooling parents, though. It's really not hard to do. You can gain a lot of information on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pheofca.org/legalfactsheet.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;forums with whose ideology you might disagree&lt;/a&gt;, but it's still useful (Don't join the HSLDA).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would use the same tactics I discussed before - getting your daughter's teachers' G&amp;amp;Os/expectations - which will keep your daughter current and will allow her to return to class caught up or ahead - and use them to frame your own plans, and if California requires G&amp;amp;O's, etc., file them. You &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; have to cover the entire next year, though, but I'm not sure; that's why doing it through your daughter's school might be easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, this is a great idea and a fantastic opportunity not to be missed! Enjoy the trip, and the preparations. Please let us know how it goes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-05T00:14:39.237" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T00:14:39.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9253" CreationDate="2015-04-05T04:31:17.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Also:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;talk on the phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;knit or crochet (this requires careful arrangement with pillows).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;with the right arrangement of pillows, you can even type on the computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note, not all mother/baby pairs can get perfectly comfortable with sling nursing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T04:31:17.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19292" CreationDate="2015-04-05T04:51:20.057" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never negotiated.  I did inform the teacher in advance of a long absence.  I also tried to have a pretty clear idea of what was expected in the curriculum, especially as regards math, because I didn't want the child to feel lost upon returning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was never a problem.  The teachers always appreciated the importance of family life (however that happens to play out in a particular family), and the horizon-broadening effect of travel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting in middle school, I did ask for assignments ahead of time, so the child could keep up with the specific work that was being missed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T04:51:20.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19289" CreationDate="2015-04-05T04:56:35.507" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give in on this one, my friend.  When she is ready to poop, allow her to use a diaper.  Just tell her once in a while, in a warm, friendly way, that when she's a little older, she will poop in the toilet like Mama and Papa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry.  She will eventually poop in the toilet like Mama and Papa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no rush with this at 24 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to get into a tug of war with her -- you'll have plenty of unavoidable conflicts with her later on.  For now, try to enjoy life with her as much as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T04:56:35.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19287" CreationDate="2015-04-05T05:07:12.043" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no way of knowing whether the parents are over-protecting the child, whether you are pushing too hard, etc., etc.  What I can tell you is that the most likely outcome of this tension, if it continues, is that the parents would sever the tutoring relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So -- what can you do to neutralize this tension?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning works best when the learner is engaged.  How's that going?  Can you tape some of the sessions, listen to them later, and see if you can identify the activities that are going the best, and build from there?  Can you also identify some patterns, for example, when is the student's concentration best, what environmental conditions seem to elicit the best work?  Are you and your student having some fun together?  Are you providing positive feedback when appropriate?  (I realize sometimes it takes a big effort to find something to praise -- but it really is very helpful to do this.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note, trying to desensitize an anxious child is a very tricky thing to do, and should only be attempted by someone with specialized training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-05T13:53:25.263" LastActivityDate="2015-04-05T13:53:25.263" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2015-04-05T19:31:31.097" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe that there is an argument that vaccines are an overall net negative to public health. However, it does bother me that some folks try to sweep vaccine reactions under the rug as if they don't exist. It also bothers me when doctors who point out the risks are verbally tarred and feathered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, when you consider any medical intervention, any medical intervention at all, there are always risks and side-effects. Even common drugs like aspirin that are widely regarded as safe may sometimes cause lethal reactions in a few patients. That is not to say that they are bad drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To see the big picture, you have to look at the benefits of the therapy and compare them to the risks. Robert Sears has written about this in his &quot;Vaccine Book&quot;. He has pointed out that he has concerns about the safety of vaccine ingredients. He also points out objectively how many cases of infectious disease have likely been prevented by vaccination. (I've noticed that most writing about vaccines, whether for or against, descend into personal attacks against people with whom the author disagrees. Robert Sears seems to be one of the few authors to present objective facts about personally attacking others)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to add further that vaccines are quite different from one another in terms of the ingredients used and how they are made. Some contain live pathogens; some contain dead pathogens, some contain fragments of dead pathogens. Some contain trace amounts of toxic chemicals, such as aluminum, to enhance the body's immune response to the vaccine. In short, asking &quot;Are vaccines safe?&quot; is like asking &quot;Are pain pills safe?&quot; Each one has a different profile of risks and potential side effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T20:27:33.403" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T20:27:33.403" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19304" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-05T21:43:34.700" Score="4" ViewCount="444" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is very attached to me (his mother) and my husband has a hard time comforting him when he needs it, especially when it comes to sleep. My son is 15 months old. He wakes up at least twice a night and often more. When he wakes up he usually wants to breastfeed. However, sometimes if he wakes up a short time after going to bed, he will go back to sleep if I pick him up and cuddle him for a bit. If his Dad goes to him instead, my son will not settle and screams loudly, for a long time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things haven't always been this bad, my son used to accept his Dad for comfort at night at times when he didn't need to be fed. But after a series of disturbances to the routine such as a relentless attack of winter viruses, vaccinations and a short trip away, my son has become too used to me going to comfort him. He's also teething with his first molars. We've tried for a while to have my husband go to settle him but my son gets angry, screams and hits my husband away. If my husband offers expressed milk, my son hits that away too. I work full time so eventually I give in and go to him so we can all get some sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the daytime, father and son get on well and enjoy spending time together but if my son is upset and I'm around, he doesn't want his Dad to comfort him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't a huge problem in itself, although can be inconvenient, I know that small children often want their Mum, especially when breastfed and I assume he'll grow out of it eventually. The problem is, I have to go away for two nights in two week's time and we're worried how things will work out. I've never been away for even one night before. We're looking for suggestions of what we can do in the two weeks to help my son accept his Dad so the two nights away are not too stressful for both of them and so that I can relax a bit and not spend the whole time worrying about them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-04-05T21:55:12.797" LastActivityDate="2017-03-22T12:13:12.510" Title="Intensive father son bonding suggestions needed" Tags="|separation|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2015-04-06T00:15:57.613" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;my son is the same, brilliant, plays most musical instruments, but has horrible social anxiety and severe depression.You must push gently or he will feel overwhelmed, most real life responsibilities already overwhelm them much more than someone who is not sick. keep feeding him and taking care of him, encourage him to do chores for money, slowly work into a part time job, very part time like 2 or 3 hours a few days a week, they do need special care, pushing to much can cause them to be suicidal. Good luck, God bless. Get some good help. Most psychiatrist are pill pushers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14403" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T00:15:57.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19304" CreationDate="2015-04-06T06:04:02.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a frustrating problem, and I have no quick fixes to offer. I'm also sorry to hear about your son's bad winter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thinking of the longer haul, have you discussed with your husband the possibility that he (and only he) get up and bring your son to you (in bed or wherever) to nurse, then take him back to settle him in? This might help your son to associate Dad with good nighttime things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nursing a baby is a very satisfying and emotionally fulfilling experience, and you should keep doing it as long as you both want to. However, at 15 months, your son should be getting enough nutrition during the day that he doesn't need to be breastfed at night. This means he might be using you as a warm, cuddly pacifier whenever he awakens. Moms need their sleep, too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe strongly that parents owe it to their little ones to be trustworthy, responding to their children when needed. How to respond with love, however, is up to you. I would encourage you to start weaning him off his night-time feedings. Read some answers on this site or read some books/good websites on teaching your son to self-soothe without the help of a breast so that when he wakes up, he doesn't expect to drink (dads are pretty good for that, since - cry as he might - dad can't fulfill that wish.) Once he stops associating feeding with falling asleep, your husband can be much more successful at helping him to settle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of daytime soothing, the less he views you as his (however loving) 'pacifier' and more as his mom, the more he will be accepting of the warm love and support of his dad at any hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are gone (this is easier said than done, understandably), worrying won't add one iota of comfort to you or your husband. If there's nothing to be done after skyping during the evening, consider it an opportunity for some mom-time and a full night of uninterrupted sleep. I hope you can enjoy that; you deserve it. You sound like a wonderful mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T06:04:02.143" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="752" CreationDate="2015-04-06T06:18:08.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;there are some good and also some wildly crazy answers on here.   A realistic idea of the costs, accounting for detergent and energy costs is provided by eLeMeNO-Pee on their site at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.elemeno-pee.com/calculator&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.elemeno-pee.com/calculator&lt;/a&gt;  This is a great cloth diaper calculator that compares costs and lets you play with a few variables with just a few clicks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14406" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T06:18:08.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19310" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-06T14:07:05.743" Score="16" ViewCount="6135" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel that my two-year-old kid is fearful since birth, or it is my own fear. This question arose when I compared him with other numerous children. As a father, I don't want him to fear anything. I want him to be a risktaker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the initial months, he used to startle whenever the door opened or closed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently I saw that one of the children (three years) was shouting at him, and he was crying, I don't know how the three-year-old child got hold that shouting will make him cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another instance is that whenever the door gets knocked, he runs and hides in the corner of the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also fears animate toys or &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radio-controlled_model&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;RC&lt;/a&gt; cars when they are functioning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One positive thing I saw that he doesn't fear a bop bag of a shark. He goes and kisses it and hits it, and I saw the same three-year-old child fearing the bop bag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that as the time passes by, he will conquer his fears, but how do I make him conquer his fears as a parent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want him to grow up fearing everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13950" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T20:17:05.860" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T21:46:34.057" Title="How to nurture my child to be fearless" Tags="|toddler|psychology|fears|bullying|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19310" CreationDate="2015-04-06T14:30:40.960" Score="43" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that being shouted at is likely to make any child cry, particularly by an older child.  Shouting is not nice, and intimidating particularly from an older child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Door knocking i've not seen before, but if door knocking includes fairly loud knocking, it could also be a bit disturbing.  More likely to me, he's concerned about some change when the door is knocked on - somebody he's not comfortable with, particularly if you have a lot of people he doesn't know come in after knocking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, it's not particularly surprising for a two year old child to be scared of things he's not familiar with.  This goes away as he gets older and experiences more things.  The best way in my experience to deal with this is simply to make sure he has a lot of new experiences when he feels safe and comfortable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child feels that he is safe - he's with mommy or daddy, he's in a location like his house that he feels comfortable in - he's more able to process new things.  It might seem counterintuitive, that to help him learn not to be fearful you need to help him feel safe, but it is a good idea nonetheless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he reacts fearfully, talk to him about it.  Don't diminish his feelings - they are feelings, whether you think they're justified or not - but ask him if he's scared, talk to him about it, and then try to give him tools to deal with that fear.  (The following is roughly how this would go with my two year old, with the name changed of course.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Johnny, are you feeling scared about the door?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Yup.  I want my mommy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What's making you feel scared?  Is it loud?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Nope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are you worried someone will come inside?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Yup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Johnny, I know that you get worried that someone you don't know will come inside.  You know Daddy and Mommy would never let someone come inside whom we didn't know, or whom we didn't feel comfortable letting inside.  I'll show you how we do this.  Let's come over to the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;I don't want to! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know, but I can show you a secret telescope we can use to find out who's there without them knowing!  Doesn't that sound fun?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Yup...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(walking over to the door, looking through the one-way hole)  Look here, Johnny, put your eye here and you can see who it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;(puts eye there) Uncle Michael!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Yep.  (opens door, hugs all around)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's all about making him feel comfortable, making him feel that his feelings are valid, and giving him tools to deal with the feelings.  Once children know what to do when they're scared, they have the ability to handle it much better and are much less scared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in the other situations (kids yelling at him, RC cars, etc.), talk to him about them and give him tools to deal with them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T14:30:40.960" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19304" CreationDate="2015-04-06T14:52:00.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;With both of our little guys, we went through phases like you describe, where my wife was sometimes the only person who could comfort them.  To some extent this is 'just a phase' and will pass in time - there will be weeks where only Daddy will comfort them effectively (once you stop breastfeeding, anyway, as that always seems to work). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't believe it's a lack of bonding or any particular lack of affection for Daddy.  Largely it's simply a combination of physical comfort and (I'm guessing) various psychological changes that cause one or the other parent to be temporarily more 'comfortable'.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that I did with both of them when I needed to help at night or in the early morning was to change up things a little for them.  Rather than trying to comfort them in their bed, or our bed, neither of which worked as they both made them think Mommy was there (and thus frustrated at lack of mommy/milk/etc.), I instead would take him downstairs and snuggle him in my lap while I put on an innocuous TV show - either something I watch but is appropriate for the kids (a sitcom, for example, no violence or loud noises) or as they got old enough to watch TV of their own, something they like (this was more like 2+).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of this was that while I don't watch very much TV, when they were very little I sometimes rocked them to sleep while watching a show, or watched a show while I was 'on duty' with the sleeping baby; so the laugh track/etc. was probably familiar.  Part of it also was simply to have something calming to do together, even if he has no idea what's going on and usually falls asleep almost instantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, that often helped to calm them while they were otherwise difficult to calm in place.  It's not exactly optimal if you're doing it every day, of course, but it can work for a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the long run, weaning off of nighttime feedings - ie, you finding other ways to help him get back to sleep - is probably the only thing you can do to completely solve this; but in the short term, that's not really feasible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T14:52:00.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19310" CreationDate="2015-04-06T17:26:42.403" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being brave is not the absence of fear, it is doing the right thing even though you are afraid.   Fear is good, it is based off of natural preservation instincts and can warn of danger.  You need to teach him about the things that are more important than self preservation: Teach him about principles and standing for them, Teach him about chivalry, teach him about doing what is right regardless of the consequences.  Then he will learn several reasons to be brave.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14415" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T17:26:42.403" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19304" CreationDate="2015-04-06T17:37:24.373" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had something very similar with both of my daughters. As a father, pretty much like clockwork, I remember these points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7 months: they knew I existed and seemed somewhat happy to see me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 1/2 years: I truly enjoyed hanging out with them, for short bursts of time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 years: The pendulum started swinging, and they wanted to be more involved in the things I did.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;3 years: I could basically do anything with them short of storm a beach in enemy territory, and they love hanging out with me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Between my wife and I, I'm the one that tends to push the envelope a little more. I'll wake the kids up at 6am to shoot model rockets off, I'll take them backpacking (not car camping: actual no-kidding-deep-woods-backpacking), get them into martial arts (not the corny strip mall style). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they were younger (under 3, primarily), they would go through day and week long phases where they would push the envelope and hang out with me, but they would also want mom time and want to feel more protected. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that dad-exclusive time offers is simply that there is no option to run home to mom. I'm not trying to tell anyone how to parent, but for us it was important that after ~2 years of age or so my wife would split for a few hours and I'd handle bed time, so our kids would simply have to learn to handle me putting them to bed or helping them when they wake up scared since mom simply isn't around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Most) moms have a huge built in advantage towards bonding because of the obvious biological relationship. Dads need to be given the latitude, and need to exercise it, to have that same opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, I really enjoy doing adventure-ish stuff, and scaling that to include my kids has created a terrific way for me to be a dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9911" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T17:37:24.373" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19304" CreationDate="2015-04-06T20:10:05.393" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ironically, something that often really helps is giving them a couple nights without the possibility of Mommy coming to the rescue.  It may not be consciously expressed, but the idea of needing someone else to intervene really undermines a Dad's confidence, and babies can sense that.  Leaving them alone will help them find their own unique way of working together.  Okay, yes, most of that first night might be terrible, but they will figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember several times I had to make my wife leave the room when she thought the baby was inconsolable without her, then within about 10 minutes we were fine.  Try this next time.  When you think you absolutely need to intervene, set a timer for another 10 minutes before going in.  Then when you do go in, don't stay.  Say something encouraging, give a quick hug and kiss, then go back to bed.  Make it clear to Dad and baby that Dad is capable of handling this.  Let Dad be the one to make the call and come to you when he's ready to admit defeat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T20:10:05.393" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19310" CreationDate="2015-04-06T20:54:56.450" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should worry too much at this stage. It doesn't seem to me that a child's fears at this age are likely to reflect how their personality will turn out when they get older. It sounds like a lot of your son's fears may be related to his imagination and it can be a good thing that he has a good imagination. My youngest brother used to come up with all sorts of frightening things when he was younger but as he grew up he is bothered by very little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other fears may be related to memories of a bad experience. For example a child may be afraid of balloons if they have had one burst in their face but another child may not have experienced that so is not scared. I used to be afraid of clowns, not for the more obvious reasons of their strange appearance but because I was afraid they would make a loud noise or squirt me with water. Perhaps he remembers a time when someone he didn't like came through the door. As you say yourself there are things that he's not scared of that other kids are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also a lot of learned fears which you can try to avoid him picking up on. I used to love spiders as a child but at some point I became afraid and I still don't like them now. Things like that you can teach by example - show that you are not afraid and hopefully your son won't be either (as long as your son knows how to recognise a dangerous spider/other animal if you have those where you are.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your son to enjoy risky activities it needs to be something he enjoys. Let him experience activities with you in a fun and positive way. I think this type of fear is different to fears from imagination though. You may find that he's much less fearful of a risky activity than of something in his imagination. I think the imagined fears are much more related to his age and they will come and go and change as he gets older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-04-06T20:54:56.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19310" CreationDate="2015-04-06T21:32:30.947" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fearlessness is basically stupidity. You can be fearless only if you are stupid enough not to be able to realize the consequences of a serious action or danger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Strength is doing what needs to be done or what is right, DESPITE fear, DESPITE being able to realize the potential grave consequences of an action which you may have to take or an event which you may have to face. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should teach your kid to have the strength and integrity to do the right thing when the occasion calls for it, DESPITE fear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14416" LastEditorUserId="14416" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T01:53:34.417" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T01:53:34.417" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19304" CreationDate="2015-04-07T01:07:16.950" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The good news is you have a couple weeks to prepare. As Karl said, a couple nights without the possibility is probably the way to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not too dissimilar from the process of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/the-truth-about-ferberizing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ferberizing&lt;/a&gt; in that you have a small amount of time with radical change to open a much more comfortable situation in the long run. Many disagree with this process, but they may not have had children who remove every bit of sleep you ever get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife was one of those who disagree with ferberizing so we had to do it the longer way, which was ultimately not too bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the point where we both could see absolutely nobody was getting any sleep for too long, we decided to change the night routine. Which is relevant to your situation, though I know you refer to daytime comfort as well. I think if you fix the night time requirements, the daytime ones will trickle away as well. At night, she could put our daughter to sleep, but once she was asleep, she was out of the picture, even if there was a tantrum involved. It took a while for things to normalize, but even after just a few days we could see the demand for night feedings fading. We assumed it was feedings, or maybe some kind of comfort. Not 100% sure, but previous to this decision our daughter was like a time bomb. You knew she would go off at some point, but who knew when. So sleep was hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might have been a week or so before the demand was pretty much gone. I'm a paranoid sleeper in that I sleep very lightly until I hear anything then I move to their room just in case. They got used to relaxing just knowing I was in the room with them and now they are pretty good about staying asleep through the night. About 9:30pm to about 7:15am. The need for mother comfort during the day is much less now as well, though they are older and it has been about 8 months since we began this routine. 8 Months in baby time is a lot in so many ways, so it's hard to say if that was due to the change in routine or just that they grew up enough to understand we're not gone from the world when they wake up without us in the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to totally remove mom from the night routine after getting your son to sleep. Endure the crazy spells for the next few days and be ready to be more tired than you may already be. It was worth it for me, and even though many hate the ferber method, it seems to work for a lot of people. It might take a few days. It might take the whole 2 weeks. But I bet it will improve your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, when my wife takes them out of town for a couple days, we use face time on the iphones so they can still see me. Seems to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="13274" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T01:17:11.167" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T01:17:11.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19319" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19322" CreationDate="2015-04-07T01:18:42.723" Score="4" ViewCount="1002" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know the difference between rat and mouse, and fox, wolf, and jackal in real life. Means that I know they are different but I can't make out who's who on seeing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The story books have hand painted pictures of all these animals, and somewhere they call them mouse and other place they call them rat. Same is the case with fox, wolf, and jackal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toddler is 22 months old. I read her the stories and she listens attentively. I point out to rat and say this is rat and then ask her to point out to the rat again, which she does. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question: Should I stick to rat and fox irrespective of what the story book writes? Should I use rat, mouse, and fox, wolf, jackal whenever story book mentions them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shouldn't that be confusing to the child? Till what age should I continue doing the same?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I forgot turtle and tortoise too! :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T19:09:12.500" Title="How to deal with rat and mouse, and fox, wolf, and jackal in story books?" Tags="|toddler|reading|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19319" CreationDate="2015-04-07T01:30:00.183" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Over time kids get better at distinguishing animals... for a while, my toddler called most four legged mammals (cat, dog, cow, horse) all &quot;cat&quot; because we had one at home, and the other animals were &lt;em&gt;close enough&lt;/em&gt;. It's basically a matter of whether they've been shown the difference, either in-person or in pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provide as much range of information as possible so her vocabulary (and imagination) have room to expand -- we patiently provided the correct name for dogs, cows, etc. and eventually she distinguished different species accurately. Looking at photographs can be a much better way to &lt;em&gt;accurately&lt;/em&gt; explore differences (e.g., &quot;Look, the fox is small and orange, the wolf is big and gray!&quot;) that hand-painted pictures may not show as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T01:30:00.183" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19321" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19372" CreationDate="2015-04-07T02:45:45.237" Score="4" ViewCount="2571" Body="&lt;p&gt;My niece is 2 and half years old and she does not mix with anyone else. &#xA;I am happy that she is like that with strangers but when it comes to family she is still the same.&#xA;Does not play with other kids either. She has been very reserved ever since she was 8 months.&#xA;The bigger problem is she does not stay at child care center even for 10 mins without her mom.&#xA;I wish i could help my sister with some free time for herself on weekends and take care of my niece but she would not stay with me unless her mom is around all the time.&#xA;I know she is the only child so she is more attached to her mom but its very difficult for my sister sometimes as her daughter just starts crying when she sees other people.&#xA;I think she mostly worried that they would take her away from her mom.&#xA;Can anyone guide me to help her overcome this behavior at least with people whom she sees regularly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14419" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T16:11:57.473" Title="My 2 and half year old niece does not trust anyone else besides her mom and dad" Tags="|fears|separation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19319" CreationDate="2015-04-07T03:39:06.810" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I'm understanding your question correctly (and please correct me if I'm wrong), the artwork in the book doesn't sufficiently differentiate the characters enough that you (as an adult) can tell them apart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your concern about confusion is valid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a particular reason you really want to keep using that book? I would be a bit concerned that your child might not be getting the visual learning she can benefit from with such a confusing book. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a reason young children's books have easily identifiable creatures and objects. It's to help them to learn shapes, patterns, colors, relative sizes, etc. A picture book that fails to do this fails to give a child the visual cues they need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How important is it? That's up to you. I doubt your daughter will mistake the animals as an adult in real life. But she &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; missing something now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest child's first word was &quot;Moo.&quot; He was only seven months old at the time. (A paper I link to included a study that concluded my child should not have been able to do this for another two months!) I would read to him often, and one of &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; favorite authors had pictures that were plain but colorful and easy to distinguish. One day, as I had done many times, when I turned to a page with a cow, he said &quot;moo&quot;. I was a bit stunned (I had not thought he would have been able to do so this early.) But he did this consistently. (I included a link at the bottom to the book. If you flip through the pages, you'll see what I mean about the simple yet colorful visual style.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child was (is) not a genius. I thought I was just entertaining both of us at the same time. However, he was clearly &lt;em&gt;learning&lt;/em&gt; more than I realized. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is to use books where the child receives better visual cues. You may enjoy it as much as your daughter, and she is learning more than you might think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I was sad the day I donated all the children's books that my kids didn't want to keep to a children's hospital. I have many happy memories of reading these books to my children. I felt like they were old friends.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0399212582&quot;&gt;Tomie dePaola's Mother Goose&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar_url?url=http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Chris_Moore3/publication/13759893_The_origins_of_joint_visual_attention_in_infants/links/004635249828223663000000.pdf&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;scisig=AAGBfm0j69wnhf3PCtXBNQJR8JWELnQ_uQ&amp;amp;nossl=1&amp;amp;oi=scholarr&quot;&gt;The Origins of Joint Visual Attention in Infants&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T03:45:40.047" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T03:45:40.047" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19310" CreationDate="2015-04-07T07:05:04.287" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I parent of two I understand you want your child to be as happy as possible. But what can you do more than understanding and being helpful and supportive in whatever they experience?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot; I don't want him to fear anything. I want him to be a risktaker.&quot; Everything has its pros and cons. Here are a few questions, I've numbered them so it is easier to refer to them, the order is random.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Could you find the pros of having fear?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you think you have a balanced view of the pros and cons of fear?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Isn't any human (or being for that matter) fearful in certain aspects?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Maybe you think I am exaggerating, maybe I am nitpicking on your words of &lt;code&gt;don't fear anything&lt;/code&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;4&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Isn't it healthy to have some level of fear? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you think that all of the animals and human race would have evolved further without any fear at all? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What if fear can't be excluded from the set of emotions we beings can experience?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you think of any risks when your kid has learned to suppress/ignore it's expression of fear? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't want him to grow up fearing everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you want instead?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;but how do I make him conquer his fears &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I make you conquer your fear of your son fearing everything?&#xA;(Spoiler: the answer is, I can't and I never will be ablo to, you have to do it yourself. The same as with your child. I can be supportive to you, but I can never make you. It is the beauty of self developing consciousness.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4705" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T19:09:02.207" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T19:09:02.207" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19325" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19337" CreationDate="2015-04-07T09:27:24.010" Score="16" ViewCount="6020" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am from Turkey and in Turkish the word for &lt;strong&gt;father&lt;/strong&gt; is &lt;strong&gt;baba&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;dede&lt;/strong&gt; for &lt;strong&gt;grandpa&lt;/strong&gt;. Our 17 month old baby girl follows me all day with repeated &lt;strong&gt;baba&lt;/strong&gt; but rarely says &lt;strong&gt;anne&lt;/strong&gt; for &lt;strong&gt;mommy&lt;/strong&gt;. As much as this flatters me, I feel my wife might be a bit down. Should I be concerned?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14423" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T15:11:22.567" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T13:17:50.540" Title="Our babygirl doesn't say mommy" Tags="|toddler|speech|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19327" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19448" CreationDate="2015-04-07T10:55:56.350" Score="6" ViewCount="1990" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2,5yo who talks English and Hebrew. He is meeting the milestones for his age in both languages as far as I can tell, but I'd guess he is in the bottom quarter as far as language development goes. That is, I saw many children his age who speak much better. He started off talking in English as we lived in the US, but we now moved to Israel for a year. In the last few months we have been trying to get him to learn as much Hebrew as possible for the kindergarten (my husband is a native speaker of both languages and I am fluent in both). Next year he will be back in English speaking environment, so we also try to talk to him in English. For now he often mixes two languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd really want to start talking to him in my native language(Russian). I haven't done so before because I felt weird talking to him in the language that my husband and surroundings don't understand. The question is if I should start now or let him learn his Hebrew better and start at age 3+ when he is back in English preschool? I would appreciate any experiences you might share. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14424" LastActivityDate="2017-12-28T10:04:37.447" Title="Teaching a third language to a bilingual toddler" Tags="|toddler|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19325" CreationDate="2015-04-07T11:48:02.683" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;The saying I heard since I was a child was &quot;walking by one, talking by two.&quot;  She'll get there!  My son called me 'ball' for quite a while after he could say 'Daddy,' but who gets the lion's share of the kisses and snuggles?  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have serious concerns about her development, see your pediatrician.  However, this internet stranger's opinion, based on information from 3 sentences, is this is perfectly normal and your daughter's vocabulary will progress as she grows and learns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T11:48:02.683" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19319" CreationDate="2015-04-07T14:26:51.323" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 22 months, I wouldn't worry terribly about accurately identifying the animals in a drawn picture book.  Drawn pictures won't ever be all that accurate, and honestly reading to her is more important than accuracy.  Keeping her involved whether it's a rat or a mouse is what's important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I &lt;em&gt;would&lt;/em&gt; do is get a photo book of animals which features the various animals separately, and use that to teach your child the difference between the similar animals.  In the US for example, our kids like Priddy Books, which print &quot;100 First Animals&quot; and similar books.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At around 2, these are perfect, because you can start by introducing the animal names; then in a few months he/she will start learning which is which, and you can start discussing the differences.  Then you can move back to the drawn picture books and have long, complex discussions about what specific animals are in them; as they're drawn pictures, it may not be possible to identify them perfectly, but the child will undoubtedly make an attempt, and have strong reasons behind that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also point them out in real life, and make connections to the books (both drawn and photo).  This will help a lot in developing an understanding of what the differences are, as there are things you can see in 3D that you can't in a photo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our older child, when he was around two we were reading the photo cars/trucks/trains/construction vehicles books, and by 2.5 he was able to identify the real ones and to correct me when I was wrong about something being a Bulldozer versus a Front Loader.  Even when he was unable to identify something correctly, we would have good discussions about what they were, both in picture books and in real life, and we challenge him still to explain what reasons he has for calling something a particular kind of vehicle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T17:06:26.417" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T17:06:26.417" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19321" CreationDate="2015-04-07T14:45:17.937" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Separation anxiety is common in children of this age, and if her mom hasn't worked on it substantially then it's not particularly surprising to me that she have these fears.  Our three and a half year old still hates going anywhere that he isn't with mom/dad, and while he will go to daycare/preschool now without crying most of the time, it took a long time with those folks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, as Mike points out, this is up to his mom and dad to work on, first and foremost. All of the rest of this answer is addressed to them, if they choose to take this approach.  There's nothing wrong with parenting in a manner where you nurture your child's attachments; Mayim Bialik (&lt;em&gt;Blossom&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;The Big Bang Theory&lt;/em&gt;) for example expounds the theory of Attachment Parenting, and while that certainly doesn't suggest spending every waking hour with your child, that has a very different approach than I'm going to suggest, and is not an unreasonable one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, daycare separation is manageable, once you start to do it.  I used to spend a lot of time hanging out in our daycare in the mornings (30-45 minutes a day, usually) because I'd get there out of sync with the trains, and I saw a lot of kids having separation anxiety and difficult drop offs.  I also saw every single one of them deal with it better and better, and in almost every case the child stopped crying and started playing within five minutes of the parent leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to become comfortable with the daycare teacher, both as a parent and child.  Spend a day or two with them the whole day, so the child sees that you feel the teacher is safe, and that you see the teacher is doing a good job taking care of your child.  Most daycares will allow this, in my experience; choose one that does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, talk to your child about the next day: you will drop them off, and then you will come back when the clock looks like this (whatever time that is).  Maybe noon, that's easy.  Then, that day, drop her off, give her a firm hug, remind her you're coming back at exactly noon, then leave.  Don't sneak off, she should see you leaving; but leave, whether she cries or not.  (Think &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lot%27s_wife&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Lot's Wife&lt;/a&gt; here.)  Then come back precisely at noon (or whatever you agree on - several hours later).  Repeat that for a week or two, and then extend it to a full day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will probably have a tough first day, but by the end of the week will probably be crying for a few minutes then will see the other kids playing and will go to join them.  Eventually, you'll find that she doesn't cry every time you drop her off any more, and eventually it will stop except on sleepy days or low blood sugar days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For other things, we find that we have to take our child into account when planning activities.  We tried soccer last summer, and that was an abject failure, because it was 25 kids 3-5 years old, with two or three coaches, who couldn't give very much individual attention at drop off.  We gave up after three weeks as he clearly didn't want to do it.  Ski school on the other hand was fine: dropoff to one teacher who happily took him and gave him a lot of attention, and then he cried for two minutes and had an amazing day afterwards.  It just depends on the others involved.  Keeping your child's needs in mind means you can plan activities and plan babysitters or whatnot carefully while still living your life the way you want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And honestly, if living your life the way you want to means spending 24/7 with your child, I won't disagree with that.  I work full time, but other than that I spend nearly all of my time with my children, and I'm very happy to do that.  I'd rather spend time with them than watch TV or movies or play games or go out.  That really depends on the parent, and you should be aware of the possibility of burn-out, but if you're happy doing things the way you want to do them, go for it.  Your child will eventually need to leave your nest, but there's lots of time for that later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T14:45:17.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19325" CreationDate="2015-04-07T15:21:54.910" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My niece used to say &quot;mommy&quot;, &quot;daddy&quot; and the name of her older brother. The dog was &quot;puppy&quot;. She took a long time to say &quot;grandma&quot; but they all were suspicious that &quot;grand&lt;strong&gt;pa&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; was actually referring to both grandparents because one day she was taken to one of those zoos for kids and all the animals where &quot;puppy&quot; (so &quot;puppy&quot; was actually the designation for &lt;em&gt;animal&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;non-human&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I came into this family through my wife. She was already &quot;auntie&quot; and I was &quot;auntie&quot; too for a really long time. Eventually she figured out I had my own name and after some time she was able to pronounce it correctly. From &quot;ego&quot; to something close to &quot;tha ego&quot; and then &quot;diego&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 10 month old son says &quot;dada&quot;, but at home I'm always referred as &quot;papá&quot; (since I'm a Spaniard, and I want to teach him Spanish) and no one taught him &quot;dada&quot; (despite all them being English speakers). I guess that some syllabus like &quot;dada&quot; or &quot;dede&quot; or maybe &quot;baba&quot; are much easier to learn and master that others. For my son &quot;dada&quot; came naturally, and doesn't mean anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, your babygirl might be going with terms that are currently easier to pronounce for her. If she already says &quot;anne&quot; I wouldn't worry. My guess is that it takes a little bit more of effort to say it, so she is less prone to use it, while &quot;dede&quot; is really easy for her so you hear it a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11753" LastEditorUserId="11753" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T16:20:09.493" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T16:20:09.493" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19327" CreationDate="2015-04-07T15:56:39.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no experience with motherlanguage-switching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter (3.5) has a native teacher in preschool for her third language and some friends with whom she has to communicate in this language. Currently she understands a lot and can say simple sentences. Sometimes she ask us to talk to her in her third language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a start I suggest to have him spent time with russian speakers first to get a feel for the language and what he can do with it. (grandparents, cousins, playdates with other russian speaking kids).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then later you might start games like &quot;Let's speak like Grandpa&quot; or &quot;What word does Grandma use for this&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Songs are also a great start. Children love songs, even if they don't understand all the words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T15:56:39.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19319" CreationDate="2015-04-07T16:50:34.493" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are some good answers, but I was puzzled over one part of your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You write:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't know the difference between rat and mouse, and fox, wolf, and jackal in real life. Means that I know they are different but I can't make out who's who on seeing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you mean that you not know the difference between those animals, and would not be able to tell them apart? If this is a book your child enjoys, my advice would be to take some time to learn them apart. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a good place for you to start would be wikipedia:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fox&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Fox&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackal&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Jackal&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_wolf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wolf&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mouse&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mouse&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Rat&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtle&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Turtle&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tortoise&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tortoise&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(note that use of turtle/tortoise actually differs a bit depending on American, British or other English usages.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition you (and you child) can maybe go to a zoo and look at these animals, and I second getting a book with good clear pictures of animals, in addition to the more art and story driven book. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you write:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The story books have hand painted pictures of all these animals, and somewhere they call them mouse and other place they call them rat. Same is the case with fox, wolf, and jackal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is: does the book actually mix these characters up? Or are they distinct characters with similar pictures? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if the intent of the book is to mix them up, (which it could be to tell a certain type of story), the point of the story might be more suitable for older children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if the characters are different, but &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; think they look the same, I would say to go with what the book says and treat them differently. Even if they don't look different to you, the idea that there are different animals and that they look similar is ok. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect the point of this book is not to teach how the animals look, but to have a story involving some different characters. Treat the book as such, and worry about teaching how the animals look from a different source. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T19:43:20.853" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T19:43:20.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12156" CreationDate="2015-04-07T17:13:56.320" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was a good bit older. He would be &lt;em&gt;almost&lt;/em&gt; potty trained and he would get a nasty sinus infection. The antibiotics and the resulting loose stools set us back a few months each time. Don't sweat it, don't compare yourself to other kids, and treasure the little ones as long as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14431" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T17:13:56.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19336" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19480" CreationDate="2015-04-07T17:21:44.463" Score="72" ViewCount="66831" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5-year-old boy who likes to play with girl stuff. He doesn't like to dress up or anything like that, he just loves to dress up the Barbies, and he will even help me with my clothes by telling me which ones he thinks are ugly and so forth. His dad has been absent from his life most of the time, and I guess this has led him to like more girl toys than boys but I don't know --I'm just a scared mom. He also plays with boys' toys and when we go to shopping he always runs to the boys' section and picks up the clothes he likes, and they are always boys' clothes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is that I took him to his dad's house to spend a week with his dad, and his dad called me and told me about the situation. I told him I already knew it and that for me it was something normal, that he was a child and kids like different things. His dad told me that he &quot;wasn't raisin a faggot&quot; and that he should have our son living with him so he can teach him how to be a man. I won't agree to this because he is my only child. I really don't care what my son will be in the future as I will always have him and he will always be my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But my question is: Is it normal that he likes girl toys? And does that means that he will be gay? And I am handling the situation right? What can I do to help him out? Please help me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14430" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T08:11:46.693" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T15:22:46.257" Title="How should I handle a little boy who likes girls' toys?" Tags="|toddler|toys|lgbtq|gender|" AnswerCount="17" CommentCount="25" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19325" CreationDate="2015-04-07T17:22:10.170" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually children learn the words they need to know to get particular types of attention first, and use them most frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So while there may be many reasons for her to choose saying &quot;baba&quot; and &quot;dede&quot; more frequently than &quot;anne&quot; one possibility is that you and grandpa don't pay as much attention to her as her mother.  When she wants her mother's attention, she may already have it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mother might be anticipating her needs or paying attention more carefully to her other cues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and Grandpa, however, might not notice when she is trying to grab your attention unless she uses those words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case - and clearly it's only one possibility of many - then if mom wants her to use &quot;anne&quot; to get mom's attention, she will have to let your daughter be a little more independent, stop anticipating her needs, and require her to ask for things she wants - including mom's attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, it would be up to mom and the daughter to decide how best to communicate.  If neither of them feel it necessary for the daughter to use &quot;anne&quot; then they won't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This behavior actually speaks in favor of the closeness of their relationship, and probably shouldn't be viewed negatively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T17:22:10.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19310" CreationDate="2015-04-07T17:35:21.313" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is also 2 years old, and is occasionally frightened by unexpected things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, he loves to push all the buttons on toys in stores, especially on trucks and cars. However, some of them are very loud and/or have motorized parts. Like your son, he'll sometimes be afraid of them. He'll come to us and hug our legs, or back off from the toy and move on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also gets scared around strangers, or family he hasn't seen in a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we turn the vacuum on without warning him, he gets scared by the loud noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In most circumstances, our response is the same.&lt;/strong&gt; We get down on his level, point out the source of his fear, usually smiling, and try to make it fun/not scary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to the RC cars/toys, we usually say something like, &quot;Wow! That truck's so cool, look at its wheels spin!&quot; Our excitement and enthusiasm rubs off on him and alleviates his fear. When we want him to adjust to other people, we usually pick him up and approach the other person to talk. We'll often &quot;introduce&quot; the people to him, or make comments about how they missed him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us, this is an optimal solution. We &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; him to be afraid of some things, and come to us to have his fears assuaged. That way he is more likely to come to us first before approaching a dangerous situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once our tone, language, and body language show him that there's no reason to be afraid, that's usually enough for him. But, we still have the opportunity to show him that, &lt;em&gt;yes&lt;/em&gt;, he should be afraid of some things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T19:30:26.337" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T19:30:26.337" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-07T17:50:31.740" Score="102" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids like toys. My daughter plays with trucks and shovels and her toy lawn mower. My son will undoubtedly wind up playing with old toys that my daughter used to play with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-normal-for-my-preschooler-a-boy-to-like-girls-clothes_69414.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This link&lt;/a&gt; from baby center would indicate that you, as a parent, are simply enabling your child's &lt;em&gt;normal and healthy&lt;/em&gt; imagination and that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;playing with Barbies at age 2 or 3 isn't going to &amp;quot;make&amp;quot; him anything other than an imaginative child.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/advice/toddlers-preschoolers/activities-for-toddlers-and-preschoolers/what-should-i-do-if-my-son-plays-with-girl-toys/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is another example of a mother going through exactly what you are going through. And the expert answer given falls directly in line with the first link.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;extensive research has shown that it's healthy for boys to play with so-called &amp;quot;girl toys.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By all the indicators I can see, you are doing a fine job of raising a perfectly normal and healthy baby boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T17:50:31.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-07T18:01:28.753" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;I highly doubt there is a correlation between sexual orientation and the kind of toy one plays with at five years old. I can't imagine what would cause that, anyway; 'boy toys' and 'girl toys' are social constructs mostly unrelated to biology or sexuality, but to the expected role those children will play as adults.*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is probably a correlation, however, between boys who play with social role-playing toys (animals, dolls) and &lt;em&gt;nice&lt;/em&gt; grown up men.  Playing with dolls is a great way to explore socialization and feelings, and those are rather important for a child to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, children of any age will play with whatever happens to appeal to them (and perhaps their social group).  I don't have a 5 year old yet, but my 3.5 year old likes playing with any toy: cars and trains the most, but that's also what his girl friends like to play with (they move!).  He loves to play with dolls and dressup and everything else you can imagine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell you what to do relative to his sexual orientation, except that 1) they're not something you can change, and 2) they're not particularly relevant at five years old.  If it were me, I wouldn't think another thought about this until he's old enough to discuss sexual matters in enough detail that he can understand them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell you what to do with your child's father, either, although if it were me I would let him know that such language is inappropriate, and that if he wants to be involved in his son's life, he should read some parenting books, particularly ones that explain how children develop socially and emotionally. That kind of attitude is very unfortunate, and not something I'd be particularly interested in having around my child. Perhaps you have a religious figure or someone in the community who can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*While some evidence shows that transgender people do begin expressing that as children, you can't necessarily see that in how they play; it comes out in how they actually self-identify.  It's not a matter of being confused; they &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.advocate.com/politics/transgender/2015/02/01/study-transgender-kids-are-not-confused-about-their-gender-identitie&quot;&gt;actually identify with their cis-gender classmates&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put that in plain english, boy children who are 'trans' girls will actually identify as girls in their minds, not simply by playing with girl toys, but actually using words (&quot;I don't feel like a boy&quot;) and thoughts.  It's fairly rare to be identifiable at the age you're talking about (5); it's much more common as children approach adolescence, as children begin to realize the differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to read more, there are support groups like Laura's Playground, or you can talk to a trained child psychologist.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T14:08:51.450" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T14:08:51.450" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-07T18:55:25.657" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son likes picking out his clothes. I can't see that as a gender-defining issue. One of my (now married) sons had such a great eye for arranging flowers in the most interesting and imaginative ways that I would sometimes send him to the garden with a pair of clippers and a free hand (something my other children didn't get (blush)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Playing with a wide variety of toys without pressure has been shown to foster creativity, being pressured to play with gender conforming toys alone inhibits creativity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The real problem here, as you know, is the father's negative attitude towards his son. If he doesn't have visitation rights, you can specify that he can see his son only when you are present, so that you can see how the father acts towards your son. Having a number of such visits might let you make a more informed decision on how much of a role you want to allow the father to play in your son's life. Having a father play a role is important, if it's not a destructive role. Only you are in a position to decide that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-07T19:13:26.913" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T19:13:26.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7648" CreationDate="2015-04-07T20:00:19.270" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ideally babies shouldn't be eating anything other than milk much before they're six months old. This is because they don't have the motor skills yet to move food around in their mouths, and their gut hasn't matured enough to be able to digest other foods properly. There is some evidence that early introduction of solid food increases the chance of food allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/&quot;&gt;WHO guidelines&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/solid-foods-weaning.aspx#close&quot;&gt;NHS information&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, while the NHS and the WHO and a whole bunch of other official bodies recommend against it, I don't think you should be that worried that your friend fed her four-month-old a sweetie. It might not be what you'd choose to do with your child, or I with mine, but the danger really isn't that great. Even choking, which as other people have pointed out is the greatest risk from a Peep, isn't actually that likely. This is not a harm on the scale of assault or neglect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I suspect your real question was not 'Should I be worried?' but 'I am worried, what should I do about it?' You could chat with her about it, but so many people get judgey comments on their parenting from people who don't know the details of their particular situation. If she's experienced that, even a caring and knowledgeable discussion could put her on the defensive. Meg Coates has already given some good tips on how to approach the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14438" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T20:00:19.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12156" CreationDate="2015-04-07T20:06:16.857" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Learning to release at will comes after learning how to hold it in. If your daughter is able to stop peeing once she starts, she's really almost there. All she needs to do then is to be able to start again once she reaches the potty. Keep her bare bottomed as much as you can so that she continues to get the feedback of how the full bladder feeling is followed by pee coming out, and she'll get it fairly soon now!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is currently at a very similar age and stage, and doing very similar things to what you describe. But yesterday morning for the first time she stopped peeing just as she started and made it to the potty to do the rest. It will come, and you're not far off it now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14438" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T20:06:16.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19319" CreationDate="2015-04-07T20:46:58.443" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a great question!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found that many young children have difficulty distinguishing one type of animal from another. My son learned the word &quot;dog&quot; very early on (both spoken and signed). He used the word &lt;em&gt;dog&lt;/em&gt; to describe cats and wolves and foxes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have witnessed many young children make similar mistakes: Cows/horses, snakes/lizards, cats/dogs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is also very interested in animals. He loves animal shows (such as Wild Kratts), adored the Omaha Zoo, and is very observant when it comes to spotting animals (real or depicted). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I decided to use his confusion/misuse of the terms as a learning opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every now and then I'll sit my son down in my lap when I'm using my computer. Then, I'll do a Google Image search for different animals. It's best to have Safe Search enabled, and set the options to search for Photos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, we'll go through and look at the different animal types. For &quot;dogs&quot;, there's such a variety! So, as we looked at the different breeds I tried to find common features to help him learn (big ears, long snouts). Some dogs, like pugs and bulldogs, obviously don't fit! For these, at least my son was getting exposure to different breeds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After dogs, I'd switch to different animals. I really wanted him to learn the difference between dogs and wolves, because I noticed him calling my wife's wolf statues &lt;em&gt;dogs&lt;/em&gt;. I showed him a lot of pictures, and pointed out how their ears and snouts are always pointy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something I did worked, because he not only started calling the statues &lt;em&gt;wolves&lt;/em&gt; instead of &lt;em&gt;dogs&lt;/em&gt;, but he's also pointed out other wolves correctly when we hadn't been exposed to them before, so we never prompted him on the correct term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also showed him foxes, and pointed out how they're smaller (like cats), and red/grey. We don't get exposed to them much, so I'm not sure he's learned &lt;em&gt;foxes&lt;/em&gt;, but I do know he's learning that not all animals are the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also benefit from this informal training. Look closely between animal types, and try to see the differences. Some things to look for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Size/shape of ears (pointed vs rounded, donkeys have much longer ears than horses)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ears floppy vs upright (cats have upright ears, many dogs have floppy ears)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Length of fur (wolves have thicker fur than many dogs)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Color of fur/skin (pandas have black/white coloring, bears are solid)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Length/size of nose (dogs have longer snouts than cats, usually)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Comparative size of animal (bigger than X, but smaller than Y)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Length of body (many rats have longer bodies than mice)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Size of head (horses have big heads compared to deer)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Types of markings (red foxes have black tipped ears and feet)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Types of limbs (hooves vs paws)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Habitat (turtles in/near water and tortoises on dry land)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you understand the difference between animals more clearly, you'll likely be able to more easily spot where the illustrator took artistic license in your child's book. You'll be able to point on the aspects that make one animal stand out from the other, even if it's minor. I made a very minimalistic illustration to show some differences (I might make a better example later when I have a mouse instead of a touchpad).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can verbalize the difference between these animals, and correctly guess what they are, then you're on the way to improving the experience of reading these children's books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/UPPlJ.png&quot; alt=&quot;A fox, a wolf, and a dog&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote class=&quot;spoiler&quot;&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt; 1) Fox 2) Wolf 3) Dog&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In the meantime, I'd continue to use the terms given in each book.&lt;/strong&gt; While some artist's depictions of the animals might not be terribly clear to you (even if you brush up on animal identification skills), it's still teaching your child that even though animals look alike they are different. Eventually, their minds will come a conclusion and be able to identify different animal types. The age this happens will depend on not only each individual child, but also the types of animals they're differentiating (wolf vs. dog is harder than cat vs. dog).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, in some cases, they might never learn at all. While I'm pretty animal-savvy, I can't ever identify a gerbil from a hamster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T20:46:58.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19345" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-07T20:51:47.317" Score="3" ViewCount="323" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I saw &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19310/how-to-nurture-my-child-to-be-fearless&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; but I have exact opposite problem with my 2 year old daughter, she doesn't fear from her actions that will hurt her. She is not afraid to do anything that is dangerous or risky, although she mostly stops doing things if we tell her that it will hurt her, but without us looking over her action she usually does it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She would jump off from height, grabs stranger dogs, catches insects and fights older children. This is becoming more of a concern that she would hurt badly when things get really wrong. But she is very protective over other kids and has a very kind heart that she wouldn't hesitate to share anything with others, even her favorite toys. She is just so brave in her action. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it a good thing or bad thing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9575" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T20:53:25.110" Title="How to nurture my child to be cautious of her actions?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|safety|fears|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-07T21:04:48.440" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have mentioned, enjoying dolls isn't particularly unusual for a little boy and does NOT mean your son will grow up to be gay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bigger problem here is your and your son's relationship with his dad.  I'm a big believer that children need positive role models of both genders --but those role models don't necessarily have to be the children's parents.  It sounds like your son's father is trying to be more present and do a better job, however he may not know that much about what it takes to be a good father.  Punishing or shaming his child for something harmless is not going to have any positive result.  Ironically, it is often boys who grow up without fathers present who feel they have to be extra macho in order to be &quot;real men.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would encourage you to make it clear to your son's father that you want him to be present in your son's life but that you need him to be accepting of who your son is. In any case, continue to make your son feel completely loved and supported by you, and make sure you talk to him about his time with his dad so you can help him respond appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T21:04:48.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19345" CreationDate="2015-04-07T21:20:16.107" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your daughter is pretty similar to my two guys.  They're both somewhat limited in their 'fear' reflex, at least for most things (my older one is pretty clingy when he thinks we're going to leave him somewhere).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are basically two sides of this.  On the one hand, being willing to try new things and do all sorts of physical activities is great.  On the other hand, not jumping from unsafe heights would be nice, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did with our boys is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to them about why certain things are dangerous.  Walking on the street is dangerous because of cars.  Jumping from tall buildings is dangerous because of broken limbs.  Etc.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gave them guidelines for avoiding dangerous situations.  They have to hold our hands while crossing a street.  They should stop before an alley or driveway (or street) and wait for us to catch up.  Certain playground things are for up-only (like some ladders that are hard to safely go down).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Carefully monitored them and reinforced the guidelines, &lt;em&gt;and the reasons&lt;/em&gt;, until we were confident they understood them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My three and a half year old I'm entirely confident walking down a busy street's sidewalk without holding onto him, regardless of his mood.  He is very careful (but adventurous) on the playground sets.  He tells me when other kids do things they shouldn't.  He understands, internally, why it's not safe to do these things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, is he perfect?  Will he never ever make a mistake?  No.  But he understands why he should be careful, and almost always is - and I'm there to make sure nothing dangerous can happen if he does forget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, teaching your child why, not what, is the best thing you can do for them.  Teach them what, you know what they'll do when you're there.  Teach them why, you know what they'll do when you're not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-07T21:20:16.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18401" CreationDate="2015-04-07T23:38:46.613" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't matter how old is she, what matters is that you should respect her decision and support her. But you need to know if she trust him and  to tell her the truth and try to explain to her how to love someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14443" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T13:46:54.017" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T13:46:54.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12156" CreationDate="2015-04-08T02:20:50.923" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's all in what the kid is capable of doing. Your daughter sounds like she's just too young. She doesn't have the muscle control or the understanding of how and why she is producing the pee. Relax! She'll get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14445" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-09-02T15:24:58.917" LastActivityDate="2015-09-02T15:24:58.917" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-08T05:04:20.260" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like you to mention the following points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Whether he has any male friend(s) / siblings of his age? &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If &quot;Yes&quot;, then how does he behave with them? Does he like to play with them?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What personal interests does he show while he is in their company? (boys' interest/girls' interests)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a 5 year old child displaying the behaviour you mentioned, I think you need not worry. Children like to play with whatever toys that catches their attention, be it girls' or boys' toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And playing with girls' toys can also be related to just a phase of time. As the time passes, he will surely be keenly interested in boys' toys and games. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least it is much better than playing those violent games that affect the child' thinking and behaving aggressively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember that during my school cultural programme, boys in my class would play part of female character and dress up like females for a fancy dress party or a theatrical play. Now as adults, they have turned out to be perfectly normal. In fact this made them more outward and enhanced their personality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child's relation with his/her father is of immense importance but any rough or aggressive attitude towards him might hamper his nascent thinking. Don't let him feel that you think something is wrong with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of all try to mend the relationship of your child and his father. Your child should not get even a faintest idea that his parents consider his activities abnormal lest he might grow emotionally insecure and distant with both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him some time to grow his mental aptitude and at the same time be watchful of his activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope as the time advances, things will turned out to be just normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14044" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T05:04:20.260" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19325" CreationDate="2015-04-08T05:14:55.617" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You certainly shouldn't be concerned!&#xA;When she is a little older, standing behind you trying to get your attention while yo are trying to do some work, or just have a conversation, the constant &quot;Dad!, Dad!, Dad!, Dad!...... Dad!&quot; wont be in the least bit flattering :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, it could simply be that Mum gives her more immediate attention than you do - so she 'knows' that just looking up at Mum will get her what she wants - while Dad jsut takes a bit more persuasion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's starting in the right way - controlling you :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14449" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T05:14:55.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-08T05:26:13.617" Score="61" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is doing what he is doing in response to his own internal drives. His actions are nothing but a combination of genetics and life experience. Playing with dolls won't &quot;turn him into a fag.&quot; He will eventually develop some level of attraction towards males and females that is determined by his genetics as well as prenatal testosterone exposure from your adrenal gland. These things influence how his brain is wired - how many neurons there are in which places, and what other neurons they will or won't talk to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heterosexual and homosexual attraction are simply the result of neural calculators examining the geometry of another person's face, looking at how far apart the features are, how angular the jaw is, how brawny or slender the shoulders and hips are, how tall the person is, how they act, etc. Attraction is just an emotion that takes &lt;em&gt;geometry&lt;/em&gt; as its basic input. Behavior is controlled the same way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boys are &lt;em&gt;more likely&lt;/em&gt; to play with trucks, and girls are &lt;em&gt;more likely&lt;/em&gt; to play with dolls; not just because we think &quot;boy=truck and girl=doll&quot;, but because trucks are more about interacting with the physical world, and dolls are more about interacting socially. Boys simply tend to like physical activity more, and girls simply tend to like social interaction more, because &lt;em&gt;that's what their brains bias them to prefer.&lt;/em&gt; If the neurons were connected differently, their thoughts and actions would correspondingly change. It really is just a box of wires and transistors in there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Ref: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3296090/&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3296090/&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, these are just averages. There is a lot of variation, even between individuals of the same sex. Some boys will grow up to be like Ru Paul, and some girls will grow up wanting to do nothing but haul lumber and swing a chainsaw around! You can't tell your boy what he should want to do, and neither can his father. (Well, you can, but you'll give him a horrid complex - keep reading.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you let his father take the reins on this, he will teach the boy that how he feels internally is inherently wrong, and that he has to lie to himself in order to satisfy his need to belong to an in-group.&lt;/strong&gt; If he is taught that playing with dolls or liking the same sex is wrong, and if he is internally motivated toward those things, he will get into a needless war with himself that will &lt;strong&gt;damage him to the core.&lt;/strong&gt; And - like another poster said - once he eventually figures out that he's been spoon-fed a bunch of nonsense, he &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; remember who supported him and who didn't. His father might benefit from knowing that his son will grow up to detest him if he gets heavy-handed about the dolls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that your approach, of letting him play with dolls if he feels like it, is in his best interest. It might help to tell him that if his father corners him about the dolls, that his father grew up being told that that was wrong, and that's why he thinks it's wrong. It's messy to introduce the concept that a parent can be fundamentally wrong about something, but that's better than letting his father unconsciously corner him into a self-loathing complex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to figure out a way to protect your son's interests. His father means well, but suffers from the same ignorance we are all brought up in. He thinks his morals are universally true, like everyone else. He doesn't understand that it's just his subconscious mind trying to defend its in-group from a perceived threat. He thinks it's &lt;em&gt;real.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I occasionally played with dolls when I was a kid. My friend had some Barbies. We did what all children do with Barbies sooner or later: we made them boink. Then we laughed, and moved on to the next shiny object. It didn't matter to either of us, whose gender role was what, or who should mess with dolls and who should mess with trucks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want, lie to his dad. It's unethical to lie, but it's far more unethical to let his father's culturally isolated upbringing interfere with your son's life. Tell him a doctor said that bothering him about the dolls will have a &quot;reverse psychology&quot; effect, causing him to be more interested in them - which it might!!! He probably doesn't care about them all that much, and will forget them as soon as something newer comes by. If he doesn't forget about them - if he starts showing &quot;queer&quot; behavior - it's not the dolls; it's &lt;strong&gt;him&lt;/strong&gt;, and that was &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; going to happen, dolls or no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14448" LastEditorUserId="14448" LastEditDate="2015-04-11T21:26:32.223" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T21:26:32.223" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19356" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-08T07:39:07.860" Score="2" ViewCount="1505" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 11 months old. Even though I am from conservative family, I am a non believer in any religions. But my wife believe in god. And she use to go church regularly. Now a days She is taking my 11 months old baby to church. And now she is starting to kiss god's photos and all. But I dont like this to happen. I would like my daughter to believe in herself and science. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do? Can I insist them to come in my way or I should keep calm? What is the best way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14392" LastEditorUserId="14392" LastEditDate="2015-04-18T08:12:31.443" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T18:01:44.153" Title="Can I insist my daughter to be non beliver in religions?" Tags="|religion|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="10" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-08T08:02:16.257" Score="17" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Can I insist them to come in my way or I should keep calm?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in a civilized society, then, practically speaking, you can't insist that anyone &quot;come in your way&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I would like my daughter to believe in herself and science.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may surprise you to learn that many people believe both in God and in science (I would phrase this as, &quot;If you're willing to believe in God, believing in science comes easy&quot;, but that's just me.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, believing in yourself isn't incompatible with either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once your daughter is capable of independent thought, she'll make up her own mind about whether God exists. You will have ample opportunity to explain your point of view to her over the next two decades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T08:02:16.257" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19359" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-08T08:20:27.267" Score="33" ViewCount="39031" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel awful about this, but I can't keep my silence about it anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a 25 year old man. I am a piano teacher and have a lot of entrepreneurial/artistic dreams and goals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I met a girl about two years ago, in the spring of 2013. We began dating seriously and I moved in with her in the June/July of 2013. Before this I had been living with my parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beginning that winter, of 2013/2014, I began to lose interest in the relationship. I didn't find her mentally stimulating anymore, and I had been introduced to the concept of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory&quot;&gt;polyamory&lt;/a&gt; when I read a book on the subject. It was world changing. I had been unknowingly searching for that philosophy for years, and I so completely identified with it that I couldn't believe I had been living any other way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I've always had a weakness with feelings of irrational guilt and obligation, and it's always been pretty easy for people to sway me to do what they want if they have those things on their side, and in this situation I felt extremely guilty and obligated to her. I didn't want to be with her anymore for a variety of reasons, but I felt awful and didn't break up with her like I should have. I also felt financially afraid to strike out truly on my own. I had been living with my parents before this. I also felt like I would be abandoning her to financially rely on her (awful) family. Lots of guilt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't do anything about it at all for literally months as I waffled about what to do, and eventually told her about the polyamory. She is pretty much the definition of a completely monogamous person, so she was completely horrified by the idea and not open to it at all. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, since I ultimately didn't want &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; relationship with her, polyamorous or otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We sometimes argued about the polyamory, but I continued to not act on it and not break up with her, feeling paralyzed by my various feelings. Time passed, and finally, this last September of 2014, I tried to break up with her. It was a huge ordeal, and despite the fact that I don't want a relationship with her and don't really like her, I'm still in love with and attached to her. It was very difficult for both of us, but in the end, her frightening statements about attempting suicide if I left (she's attempted before in her life, before I met her) were what ultimately kept me there. I also of course felt afraid and in emotional pain and guilty, etc etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About a month after this whole ordeal, we found out she was pregnant. She had been using birth control pills our entire relationship, and I really don't know what on earth happened. It ultimately doesn't matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is completely anti-abortion, and she desperately wanted to keep the baby. Again, in the flurry of guilt and obligation I agreed to marry her (she had been hinting and pushing since at least the 6 month mark), and we got married in November of 2014.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's now 7 months pregnant with a boy. Our relationship continued as normal (you know, considering the circumstances) and on the surface appears strong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I however have never been more miserably unhappy. I was deeply unhappy even before the pregnancy, but now I'm basically a zombie. I trudge through my daily life, and have that intense feeling of heaviness and tightness in my chest, all of the time. I never really wanted to be a father. I always have placed more personal importance on projects and accomplishments and friendships than romance. I want to be important and powerful and change the world. I can't imagine a more miserable life than to be a monogamous family man. I realize that some people achieve great happiness with that life, but I simply don't feel that's who I am. My now wife has always been lovingly but overbearingly suffocating, and my ambitions and other friendships have all completely stagnated in the two years I've been with her. I hate the lack of freedom, I hate the sense that all my time is spoken for, I hate every second of my life. I want out intensely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do. I'm so completely lost. Would my son be better off with a father who doesn't want to be around but is putting on a smiling face, or a father who was divorced early on? How do I handle my situation? What's the right thing to do? Am I defective? Am I a bad person?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14453" LastEditorUserId="14453" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T08:25:35.407" LastActivityDate="2017-06-15T22:28:03.460" Title="I don't want to be a father" Tags="|pregnancy|relationships|divorce|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="19" ClosedDate="2015-04-11T09:15:02.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-08T08:31:28.430" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems the conflict is not about your daughter, but about you and your wife. You disagree about religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That obvious point being said, your daughter should &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; become the center of a belief battle between you and your wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer simply your main quest : &lt;em&gt;No, you cannot insist your daughter to be non believer in religions.&lt;/em&gt;, but neither can your wife insist your daughter to be a believer (or to disbelief in science). You can teach your daughter that some people believe in god and some don't, and let her make her own mind about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the fact that your wife brings your daughter to church is unacceptable to you, you should address this problem in a civilized manner with your wife. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it seems normal to you that your wife brings your daughter to church, it should be normal for you to teach her what the concept of god is, and that god is something some people believe in, and that you don't believe in god. And it should be OK to you that your daughter might believe in god, now or someday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the kissing of god images and mimicking of whatever your wife does at church makes you uncomfortable, you could make your daughter aware of what you feel, and that it is something that is OK to do with her mother, but not with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T08:31:28.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T09:45:38.397" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since it is a question&amp;amp;answer board about parenting, I would only answer (vaguely) the parenting part. But do keep in mind that it is only my personal opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the child, the question would be, what would be better for him:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You break up now,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You break up in a couple of months, or years,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You stay together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say, but have no numbers, studies or source to point it out, that it would be better if you do not stay together and forced to be a standard father. That probably would be bad for the emotional development of the child. Even if you try to seem like a good standard monogamous father, the fact that you do not want to be it will effect your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could either be a father to him for half the time, only a week-end every two weeks, or not at all, depending on what everyone wants in this family (and judgement of the divorce).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the emotional state of your wife is also important. 7 months pregnant must be really hard (I have not seen it, so I don't know well how it is for her), and either breaking up now or saying you will break up soon would probably be devastating for her, from what you tell us about your relationship together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am the step dad of a 4 years old daughter whose parents broke up when she was 1year old. She seems perfectly happy to have her mother and me half of the time, and her dad half of the time. I do not think early break up is bad for the child. Broken family tends to become the norm anyway, nowadays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T09:45:38.397" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T11:25:59.183" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are going to be a father soon. My response will be limited to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's pretty clear that you probably won't find happiness in your marriage, so the question might be, for the sake of your child, when would be the best time to leave the relationship?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want a chance to bond with the child and experience the child's infancy, it would be best if you stayed around for a while after the baby is born. How long depends on you, but I'm not talking weeks here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of reasons to stay that directly influence your child. Your wife will need physical and emotional support at the time of the infant's birth and afterwards, not the trauma of being left to do this alone or with her (awful) family. If she doesn't receive it, it could interfere with her own bonding with your child, and this (innocent) baby deserves the best start in life that they can get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The birth of a child is the birth of a parent. You ought to be there for your &quot;birth&quot;. You owe it to him to give him a chance to become the love of your life.  Your child's first smile, laugh, and step may affect your view of them for the better. Remember, you created this child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go to prenatal classes with your wife. Learn what you need to know about being a new dad, too. There are classes for that. Helping her is helping your child. Help with the cleaning, cooking, shopping. Change diapers and rock your baby. Sing to them, read to them. Let yourself love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you start seeing a therapist now. You have a lot of issues to work out, not the least of which is when to end the marriage you are suffocating in. Maybe you can even explore your wishes for yourself in life. Being a healthy, happy person will help you to be a better dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you find the incredible happiness that comes with being a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T11:25:59.183" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11548" CreationDate="2015-04-08T12:20:27.600" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is my first time commenting on a place like this. I'm a new mother at 21 with an 8 week old son. I am also a stay at home mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still sleeps about 4 times a day and when i put him down at midnight with a 5 to 6 oz bottle, he's out till 6:30-7. He just started this, but he will get hiccups and I know to stop between every 2 oz to burp. He dosent want to and he cries so I let him finish how ever much he can take at that moment, then burp him. So i wrap him in in sunggie wrap and he will go to sleep 5 mins later I'll hear him with the hiccups. It is an every other day thing, maybe twice a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried the on the shoulder bounce back pat, rubbing tummy, and the pacifier. or forcing him to eat the last ounce, but none of them work. so he cries and not even 5 mins later. His hiccups will be gone and he'll be ready for his nap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All babies are different, but I hope this helps people.  I know mines sad to let him cry but its like he knows what he's doing. And he seems happy after he gets rid of them all by his self.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user14457" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T13:55:45.677" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T13:55:45.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T13:37:12.713" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although my situation was different, I felt much the same way as you do five years ago. I ended up leaving my wife, but instead of feeling relieved and/or happier it made me feel worse. To make a long story short I ended up being diagnosed with depression and went on medication to help with that. It ended up improving my outlook on things significantly. Depression for me was an unexplainable feeling but I felt like I needed to pin it on something when that wasn't the cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this may not necessarily be your problem, it is something to consider. There is no shame in seeking help for that if it is the problem. I'm glad I did before I did irreparable damage to my relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14460" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T13:37:12.713" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T13:42:08.123" Score="63" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we are confronted with a situation in our lives where what we believe doesn't match up to how we're living, we have two choices: Change our beliefs or change our actions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think I know that tightness in your chest, and when I've experienced it, it's when what I am is not what I want to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other posters have suggested the latter. Get out for sure, only a matter of when. I disagree with that. I encourage you to reevaluate your situation and examine your beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if being &quot;important and powerful and chang[ing] the world&quot; are noble aims, plenty of important, powerful, and impactful men have had a wife and children. In fact, depending on how you and your wife operate as a couple, she can help you achieve your goals. Sometimes I feel like I don't work on that side project because I have my wife in the house, but when I get a weekend alone I end up screwing around and not doing anything. But when she got serious about finances and helped me to do the same, it helped to encourage me to go and find new work that led me to a career advancement. She makes me better, when we work together. I see the same thing in my parents: My dad consults while my mom handles the home's finances. They make each other better, and while I don't know for sure, I'm guessing they'd both say that having children made them better as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the thing about marriage: it can be hard, and it takes work. Very few people will be united without conflict. But if both of you are willing to make it work, &lt;em&gt;you can make it work&lt;/em&gt;. Wise counsel can help here. My wife and I went through a book called &quot;Lifelong Love Affair&quot; with some friends, and that was really good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on your story, it would seem like you haven't communicated your non-polyamorous hopes and dreams very well. If she seems suffocating, she should know that, but in her defense your interest in other women would definitely create trust issues. These are the sorts of things that need to be worked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this is to say that the best thing for your son is for you to learn how to be content in your circumstances. If you can learn how to not just live with but truly love your wife, if you can change the things that you're putting your hope in, then you can give your son the greatest gift you can: A loving, content, and attentive father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you walk out, it doesn't guarantee that you will become important, powerful, or even happy. If you stay and fight for what you have already attained, it's a pretty safe bet that a little boy will think of you as the most important and powerful person in his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14461" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T13:42:08.123" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5434" CreationDate="2015-04-08T14:01:08.643" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really think kids learn quickly that numbers are rather neutral in the good/bad dichotomy.  If this is a serious concern, the best way to neutralize the situation would be to make sure you use positive number examples as well.  Such as, when you give him a treat, like M&amp;amp;M's or a snack like cheerios, ask him to count them to see how many he has.  If he counts correctly perhaps even give him a few more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14464" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T14:01:08.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T14:02:44.787" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe anybody envies your position. Personally I believe that no matter what choice you decide on, there isn't a wrong or right decision &lt;em&gt;per se&lt;/em&gt;. It is unfortunate that things were allowed to progress as far as they did, &lt;strong&gt;threatening with suicide&lt;/strong&gt; to prevent a break-up should really only &lt;strong&gt;finalize the ending of a relationship&lt;/strong&gt;, but getting into that will just be getting off topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To address the parenting aspect of your question, think of your parents and how your upbringing was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you imagine your father feeling the same way, would you have preferred he lived his life and enjoyed happiness?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you imagine your mother being with a man who doesn't truly love her, would you want her to have happiness?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Opting out:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until the coming of age, a child will not truly comprehend the moral dilemmas a parent has. You may not be your child's best friend growing up, but with age they may come to understand your decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is communication. Divorce is becoming a more &amp;amp; more common practice and your child will likely have friends he or she can relate to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice - from what you've said here - would be to do what &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; want to do. If you don't want to be a father, or play a fatherly role you don't necessarily need to. You may be required to provide financial aid however, and you should do that if you do indeed decide to opt out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming you do stay together, it seems like these feelings of yours are very concrete &amp;amp; have been around for quite some time, meaning they're not going to change themselves and not without a lot of work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One can only truly love a person if they love themselves. Do you think you're going to love yourself, achieve your dreams or find true happiness in your current circumstances?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, why not pursue your dreams. Only you will truly know what you want in this situation. Nobody can give you a &lt;strong&gt;right&lt;/strong&gt; or &lt;strong&gt;wrong&lt;/strong&gt; answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Go with your gut instinct and stick with your decision.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14463" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T14:02:44.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T14:48:24.097" Score="56" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to focus on this one thing that you said, because it's one of the only things you said about what you want, as opposed to all the stuff you are experiencing that you don't want:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I want to be important and powerful and change the world.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, I have good news and bad news about that.  First the bad news.  I'm going to be brutally honest here.  You have not been able to extract yourself from a relationship that you didn't want to be in.  You let yourself get manipulated into first continuing it, then escalating it with the marriage.  If you weren't able to extract yourself from this stifling relationship, how do you expect that you would be able to get out of the next stifling relationship (maybe a controlling boss, for example), on your way to importance and power and world-changing?  I'm not seeing it.  This sounds like fantasy to me rather than a realistic vision of your future.  Like I said, I'm being brutally honest about what it looks like, objectively, from the outside.  I'm not trying to be vicious and kick you when you're down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's get back to &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I want to be important and powerful and change the world.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is one way that you really have the capacity to do that.  For your son, &lt;strong&gt;nobody&lt;/strong&gt; is in a position to be more important, more powerful, and more able to change his world than you will be.  There is no &quot;project&quot; more interesting than watching a human being develop and facilitating that development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's hard.  And rife with drudgery.  And you're missing out on the carefree life of polyamory and blah blah blah.  Not to step on your dreams too hard, but realize that most startups fail.  When you finally get one that is working, yes, that can be satisfying.  But even then you have drudgery and endless hassles around keeping that going.  It's highly unpredictable.  I don't see you avoiding the pitfall of connecting with a partner who becomes highly manipulative and controlling, for example--since you have currently done that in your personal life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your dreams are just dreams, you imagine them to be everything you hope they will be.  When you start to try to make them reality, reality generally stomps all over them.  I'm not saying it's impossible that you would go on to be extremely successful, important, and rich.  But I am saying that it's pretty likely that you are comparing your current unhappy situation (the known quantity) to a dream life of successful entrepreneurship, respect, and power (the unknown quantity that your imagination can dress up any way it wants to because it has no reality to keep it honest).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you change your attitude and focus, though, I think there is a very reasonable possibility that you could turn the &quot;Son Project&quot; into a raging success.  Entrepreneurship is highly unpredictable because there are so many factors involved that are out of your control (great idea, but at the wrong time due to no fault of your own...or great idea at the right time, but at critical juncture a supplier, who you thought you had every reason to trust, completely drops the ball and you're out of business...or great idea at the right time with good suppliers and you hired a brother or a friend who entered into an exclusive contract with a buyer that shouldn't have been exclusive that ends up torpedoing the whole business (yes, that one is from real life experience)).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By contrast, at least in the beginning, almost everything about parenting is under your control.  Even though kids are unpredictable and you have no idea what his personality is going to be like, you still have all the leeway in the world to respond and adapt to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's one idea that you could approach this with.  Up to now, you've pretty much sucked at being independent and entrepreneurial.  Be honest and admit that.  Here's a project, though, that will give you a chance to prove yourself.  You are going to try to raise a self-actualized human.  You are going to try to do this even though you have failed at being one of these yourself, and you were raised by people who failed to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Prove to yourself that you can do this, and you will know that you can do anything.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You are much more likely to change the world for the better by raising one son well than with ten failed startups.&lt;/em&gt;  Really ponder this one--look at the problems you see in the world, and ask yourself how many of them would immediately disappear if everyone had awesome parents.  It will shock you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be extremely difficult to make this mental transition.  Again, therapy.  Right now your wife is not really a reliable partner (even that could change over time, though), and a therapist can help you negotiate reorienting your goals here, serve as a sounding board, etc.  Think of a therapist as a business consultant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this idea of mentally re-characterizing parenting as an entrepreneurial challenge may sound a bit silly.  But consider the fact that much of the pain you are experiencing is psychological.  This idea is an attempt at a psychological hack--focusing the energy and creativity and power you think you would have in starting a business on becoming a spectacular father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, yeah, there's my suggestion--you think you can become a powerful, important world changer.  Let's see you prove it with this one task.  Give it, say, five years.  Reevaluate at that point.  If, at that point, you can say that you've done a spectacular job at it, branch out and start working on a startup as well.  &lt;strong&gt;Everything you learn from doing any job well will apply in some way to entrepreneurship.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are suffering right now because you are letting things happen to you, and you feel trapped and not in control.  So I'm suggesting that you start with this one thing.  Take control of it.  Show yourself how to be in control, and see the rewards of doing it.  It's a crappy situation, I think we all agree on that.  But it's also, potentially, a profoundly life altering opportunity.  In my mind, there is little to lose in at least trying to figure out if you can make it into one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sincerely wish you the best of luck.  And, I know it's hard, but try to drop society's incredibly upside-down perspective on this.  There's not a single f***ing thing in this world that's better than a great parent (also nothing harder).  It's the highest thing anyone ever achieves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7526" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T14:48:24.097" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T15:18:51.740" Score="15" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Would my son be better off with a father who doesn't want to be around but is putting on a smiling face, or a father who was divorced early on? How do I handle my situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether you like it or not your situation is about to change dramatically, and my advice would be to hold out until well after the arrival of your son before you do something irreversible. When your son arrives you might actually &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I had my first child it gave me an enormous sense of purpose (and importance?) &lt;em&gt;that I didn't know was absent&lt;/em&gt;. I was perfectly happy before having children, and having them made me even happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, your situation is different - you're unhappy in your relationship - but you have no idea how you will respond to becoming a father. Once you've experienced it you'll be better equipped to make decisions about how you see the future panning out. It may change your perception of everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14465" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T15:18:51.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19321" CreationDate="2015-04-08T16:11:57.473" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In this situation, I think the best thing is to get her used to the idea in stages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You come over and all three of you (niece, mom, and you) have a good time playing together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You come over and all play together, but mom gets up for a few minutes to do a chore nearby (within the child's sight).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You come over and mom does things for a little longer and a little farther away (maybe in the next room).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You come over and say, &quot;Niece, let's outside and look at (something interesting). Mom comes, but follows behind you and niece.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You take niece outside for a few minutes, and mom stays inside, but near the door where niece can see.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You gradually take the child farther for longer periods.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any step, you may need to slow things down, or even go back a step. Eg., if mom  has stepped out of the room and niece start to get upset, first you try saying something like &quot;Mommy just has to load the diswasher, she'll be right back!&quot; If that doesn't help, try having mom talk to her from the other room (&quot;Mommy is just in the kitchen, I'll be back in a minute!&quot;), but have her come back if needed (&quot;See, I'm right here!&quot;). Keep trying until she is comfortable with mom being &quot;x&quot; distance away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal here is to get her to both trust you as a caretaker, and also to trust that mom will come back, or you will bring her back to mom soon. At each stage, both you and mom should act very excited that auntie is going to play with her/show her birds outside/take her on an adventure to the park.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can use the same concept as you get her used to being around other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Look, there are some other kids having fun in the park, too!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Look, another little girl is swinging! That looks fun! Why don't we swing, too?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Look, Billy is playing in the sandbox, why don't we play there, too!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Look, Susie is building a sandcastle, let's ask if we can help!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;You and Joey sure are having fun playing together! Why don't we ask him and his mom to come over for a snack?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Let's see if Katie wants to come over to our house and play this afternoon!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Joe gave you some good insight about the child care center situation. One other thing that I would add, you said that niece can't stay in a child care center for even 10 minutes without mom. I suspect the problem here is actually with mom and how she is handling the dropoff. Typically in child care situations, it's best for mom to say a quick goodbye, reassuring the child that she will return, and then leave. If this isn't happening, that is the problem. I've never personally seen a child who didn't calm down pretty quickly once mom was out of sight. The workers there should be used to handling separation anxiety in children and will almost certainly be able to distract her within a few minutes. Mom can stay in a lobby or other area away from the children, if that is available and would make her feel better. Any decent center will make sure that they have a way to contact her in case there is a problem after she has left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T16:11:57.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19221" CreationDate="2015-04-08T16:23:33.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, it's important that you and your husband come to an understanding about this first. That's more important than your daughter, who is not mature enought yet to understand everything. You and your husband must be a united front. If the two of you are at odds about what's happening, your daughter will surely be confused as well. When you start a business, your husband may seem to be on board initially, but if he later realizes he didn't have a realistic expectation about how long it takes and how much work it takes, it will ultimately lead to some very negative stress between you. Find statistics on success rates and time-to-profitability data for the kind of business you are contemplating and discuss them realistically with your husband before you start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you must create the understanding with your family that you have not stopped working, but that you are working in a different way. In fact, starting/running a business is likely to be much more work, more risk, and more stress, than most jobs. Ultimately, you'll have more freedom, more fulfillment, and hopefully more money, but it will be a long road. If your family doesn't recognize what you are doing as hard work and important, you could end up with more frustration than you have right now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest that you clearly define hours when you are working and resist demands on your time during those hours. You should get up and start work, and end the day, with the same regularity as with your job. You're unlikely to be able to fit everything you need to do for starting a business within a 9 to 5 framework, so be realistic about the time demands. During work hours, you should not be expected to shop, do chores, run errands, have leisurely conversations, etc. On the other hand, there's a temptation to go to the other extreme. Many business owners become workaholics, and spend almost every waking hour on the business, including weekends, without any breaks, for years on end. That will put a different kind of stress on your family life, so you should resist that as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set goals before you start. If you can't run the business successfully in less than X hours per day, and you never have a weekend free, and you can't afford to hire more help, and it's not growing, you have to admit at some point that the business isn't working, even if it's profitable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14407" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T16:23:33.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19374" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19377" CreationDate="2015-04-08T16:45:57.867" Score="5" ViewCount="1780" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are in our thirties. She is the &quot;godmother&quot; of a nice 8-year-old girl (her sister's single child). As her husband, she has become increasingly interested in me lately (I'd say since about a year of two maybe), to the point that she spends a lot of time with me (hugging, playing, showing me stuff on her phone, sharing &quot;secrets&quot; etc.) whenever we're all gathered at her grand parents' place (my wife's parents). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very nice and I surely like it but I find it quite surprising because she didn't use to like me before (she was rather shy actually and avoided me) and also because I am not sharing the same native tongue with her (them, i. e. my wife, my wife's family and obviously my little niece are from another country than I am). By the way, I know well enough &quot;their&quot; language so that she can understand me and so that I can understand her without any problem though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I am wondering if this is a phase and if this &quot;attraction&quot; towards me will probably change (for example, as she grows older, she may then get closer to her aunt to talk about more &quot;girly&quot; stuff)? I have the &quot;feeling&quot; that it could be something that as a little girl she might be &quot;attracted&quot; and interested in males (maybe something with hormones or so, even if for her age it might be early). Maybe me being a &quot;foreigner&quot; makes it more &quot;exotic&quot;, maybe she finds it easier to get my attention (I am almost ok to play along with her, etc.). Just to be clear, I don't mean anything sexual by &quot;attracted&quot; or &quot;attraction&quot;, but simply &quot;great interest&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also interested because it creates some kind of &quot;jealousy&quot; from other family members, like my wife, or even her own father, who envy my position of being kind of &quot;the favorite&quot;. I am honestly not trying to get all her attention, I am honestly not trying to be the most important person for her or something like that, but I just enjoy spending time with her and always try to take time to play with her, to interact with her and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to hear about your opinions on that, advices, suggestions, experiences, anything that you think could benefit her, me and the relationships among the family (especially regarding jealousy or people feeling left behind).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14466" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-24T23:46:03.947" LastActivityDate="2019-04-24T23:46:03.947" Title="8-year-old girl very keen on her uncle and not on her aunt, a matter of age?" Tags="|relationships|middle-childhood|extended-family|attention|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-08T18:02:23.667" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is nothing in the field of 'science' that proves God doesn't exist and most scientists who are athiests will say scicene can't prove he does exist either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you're saying your personal FEELINGS are that you do not believe in God.  You're an atheist.  The term and/or field of science has nothing to do with your confliction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask that you ask yourself is your wife doing any harm with her beliefs?  Will your daughter be a bad person if she believes in God as she grows up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think if you are honest with yourself, the answer to both of those questions will be NO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, think about what made you fall in love with your wife.  I assume you do love her since you ASKED her to marry you and had a child with her.  You knew before you asked her to marry you that she believed in God, that she went to a church, that she believed in a religion.  But yet you still ASKED her to marry you.  She couldn't be a bad person if you wanted her to be your wife.  I would hope you trust your wife and think of her as a good person.  So if your daughter grows up to be as wonderful of a woman as the woman you love and wanted to marry, then there should be no problem with her belief system.  If you do have a problem with it, then the problem you have is with your wife and your feelings for her, not whether or not your daughter is going to grow up believing in God.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14472" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T18:02:23.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19374" CreationDate="2015-04-08T18:28:54.923" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mention that you are always available and willing to hang out with her and play with her when she's around; are the other adults putting forth the same effort?  Kids are small humans, after all, and one thing most humans have in common is that we like to be with the people who like to be with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the jealous adults, try to pull them into the next play time.  &quot;Let's let Grandpa play the game with us!  Oooh, I wonder what Aunt A thinks about [topic of discussion]?&quot;  And if they don't share her interests, or cannot join in some activities, encourage them to find activities the three of you can join in; you can then do the slow fade if the person wants more one-on-one time with the child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Lately my son, who is 4, has decided his uncle is the most important person on the planet. It all started when my brother-in-law played with him one afternoon.  That's all it took: now Uncle S is the person he wants to see, wants to play with, wants to hang out with. If there ever came a time when my brother-in-law didn't want to play with my son, he'd likely fall out of favor. But so long as he's willing to be dragged out into the yard to play whatever the game du jour is, he's the bee's knees for my son.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T18:28:54.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-08T18:46:29.923" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can control what your daughter practices (i.e., you can declare that she will not be taken to church and not participate in communal worship) while she lives in your house and is in your care. However, you &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; control what your daughter believes. As she grows up, she may embrace atheism, or she may be curious about and drawn to religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I think is more important to consider is that there are two sides to this parenting story. (Imagine the question from your wife's perspective: &quot;My spouse is an atheist, can I insist my daughter be a believer?&quot;) The key factor is to reach an understanding with your wife on these issues. Discuss in advance how your differing viewpoints will be both shared with your daughter, and respected by the other parent. You both have a right to share your perspective on big life questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's certainly possible for parents of different belief systems to raise children together, and there are a number of other questions on Parenting.SE which can somewhat help with &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to accomplish that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7296/how-does-one-address-christianity-with-their-children-in-a-mixed-faith-marriage&quot;&gt;How does one address Christianity with their children in a mixed faith marriage?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6450/how-to-raise-a-child-between-agnostic-parent-and-believer-relatives&quot;&gt;How to raise a child between agnostic parent and believer relatives?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1978/what-are-the-psychological-impacts-of-a-split-religion-household&quot;&gt;What are the psychological impacts of a split-religion household?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T18:46:29.923" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19319" CreationDate="2015-04-08T19:09:12.500" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to worry similarly about &quot;alligator&quot; vs &quot;crocodile.&quot;  The truth is --it's nothing to stress about, one way or the other.  This isn't your child's only chance to learn the distinction, and he or she won't hold it against you if you get it wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T19:09:12.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-08T19:12:05.550" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Re dealing with the Dad, maybe tell him that liking girly things could be an early sign of heterosexuality? It's a bit odd to think of an interest in the the opposite gender as a sign that he might be gay... An older boy who likes girls might ask a girl out or something, but a small boy who thinks girls are nice will not have such things on his mind and will probably just pretend to be a girl or play with a female doll. My brother was very into pretending to be a princess at that age and also had girlfriends when not much older (this mostly involved coming out of school hand in hand with a girl from his class and saying, &quot;This is Katie! She's my girlfriend! We're going to get married when we grow up!&quot; then doing the same thing with a different girl the next day). As an adult, he still likes girls and has had many real girlfriends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A slight bit of a cop out as it doesn't help matters if your son actually does turn out to be gay, but you may not have to cross that bridge, and if you do, at least he'll be older by then and understand what's going on a bit more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14478" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T19:12:05.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T19:25:13.140" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what happens between you and your wife, you need to come to terms with the fact that your obligation to your son is now one of the most central realities of your life.  The fact that he is now in the world is directly related to your actions and choices, and you need to take responsibility for those as an adult.  You may feel tricked and trapped into parenthood but (a) that isn't your son's fault and (b) it didn't happen without a lot of dishonesty and passivity on your side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a parent doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your hopes and dreams --&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pursuit_of_Happyness&quot;&gt;plenty of people make it happen, even while caring for a child&lt;/a&gt;.  But you owe it to him and yourself to start making active choices and taking responsibility for them.  It isn't your wife or son who trapped you in this life, it's you yourself, and the sooner you quit blaming them, the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T19:25:13.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-08T19:38:38.710" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is important to teach your children to think and act logically. If you teach your daughter to question what she is told, read and listen to arguments on all sides of a question, and then come to a conclusion, you will have succeeded as a parent. One important thing to teach are logical fallacies. See this site: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fallacyfiles.org/whatarff.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.fallacyfiles.org/whatarff.html&lt;/a&gt;   Many people are swayed to believe falsehoods or impossibilities because they never learn how to distinguish a good argument from a bad one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One huge logical fallacy is the fallacy called &quot;appeal to authority&quot;. As parents, we appeal to our own authority all the time in dealing with our children, because explaining everything all the time would be exhausting. We need to balance this with patient reasoning based on evidence and logic from time to time. The area of religion is one area where striking that balance is important. Neither unquestioned atheism nor unquestioned belief in a given religion are healthy positions. What is established without a reasonable argument can be torn down without a reasonable argument. If you want your children to build a successful worldview to guide them through life, one that will not be battered by every changing fashion subjecting them to uncertainty and wrong turns and even harmful habits, then you must help them construct it patiently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14483" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T19:38:38.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19310" CreationDate="2015-04-08T20:01:19.477" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is perfectly normal and common for a 2 year old. Don't worry about it. He'll get more confidence as he gets a bit older, and discovers all the new things he can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should avoid is trying to push him to do things he's frightened of. This will have the opposite effect to what you're trying to achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's perfectly normal that he would cry if a 3 y/o shouts at him. Obviously it doesn't seem like a threat to an adult, but she would obviously be much bigger, and much stronger than him. For him to stand his ground against a bigger child is not particularly smart. He'll just get knocked down. Also trying to teach him to defend himself against other children could have the disastrous effect of making him become a bully himself. He is much too young to distinguish when a physical response may be appropriate (i.e. another child bullies him), or completely inappropriate (i.e. when another child has a toy he wants).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fears are not bad in themselves. Fear is what keeps us safe. Your little toddler just hasn't yet learned to distinguish between real and imagined dangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally the best way to teach your child at that age is to model the behaviour you want him to learn. Be confident in your own daily life, and he will learn to do the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a comment on your desire for him to &quot;not fear anything&quot;, and to be &quot;a risktaker&quot;. Is this really what you want for your child? Have you actually considered what this means?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Presumably (I hope) you mean that you want him to confidently take on new (positive) challenges... To apply for that great job, or date the prom queen etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that risk-takers are also those who experiment first with smoking, drinking, and drugs. They're the ones who go train surfing, and pick fights when they're out at nightclubs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A person who fears nothing, is destined for a short life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2015-04-08T20:33:33.283" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T20:33:33.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-08T20:19:38.943" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to think what would I want to do with my daughter.  Fortunately for me my wife and I are pretty much inline with each other on the topic.  In other topics we are not.  In the ones we are not I ask myself.  Why not?  I certainly hold sway with my daughter just as my wife does.  We both bring our unique life experiences into play to mold our daughter as she grows older.  There are parts of my wife's background I hope my daughter does not emulate and there's parts of mine I hope she does not either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;End of the day I want to give her all the information to know that she either needs to seek more information or to make her own informed decision.  If she ends up taking on those parts of our backgrounds I hope she doesn't - well we both ended up pretty good.  I believe my daughter will be just fine as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14485" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T20:19:38.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19388" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19345" CreationDate="2015-04-08T20:53:25.110" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my daughters was like this.  Still is, in new situations.  My other daughter very carefully calculates her risks before taking them, but then proceeds fearlessly, and sometimes doesn't realize she has miscalculated.  Usually kids just grow out of it with experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might sound strange, but the most effective way I've found for them to learn to be more cautious is to let them get hurt when it's relatively safe to do so.  Of course not life-threatening, bone-breaking, scarred-for-life kind of hurt, but minor-bumps-and-scrapes kind of hurt.  Kids learn to be careful on the big things by making mistakes on the little things.  That's how they learn to see safety as a consequence of their own actions, rather than some imaginary danger their parents are always irrationally going on about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't just neglect the verbal teaching part, though.  You want her brain making connections like, &quot;My parents said to be careful jumping down, but I didn't listen and I got hurt.  I should be careful crossing the street like they said too.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T20:53:25.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T22:16:43.250" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;I don't want to be a father&quot; is a more common notion than you might expect. Your post looks like it goes a little further than that since the lifestyle you dream of could very well happen while also being a father. Whether or not you are being a father along side your wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should lean on the advise of people on the internet to tell you whether or not you should definitively divorce your wife. But do consider our stories and how we have all changed after becoming parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To begin though, I would say you are absolutely not a bad person or defective just because of this feeling. You have a strive in your life. A motivation. We should all be so lucky to know what we want. I get the feeling of being locked down. That suffocation and the dread that every day will be a repeat of this one and there's no way out. But as many here have said, this is all a matter of how you choose to direct your life, which must be done with communication to your family. Not just now, but after your son is born. You may be vilified, or you may be an inspiration. How you act determines this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you may find that when your son is born, you find amusement in such strange ways that you might forget about some of the things you thought you wanted before. Being a music teacher, you may even be inspired by some of the insipid child focused shows and songs and out of humor end up creating the next big block sing song, small potatoes, or other musical short that I swear started as a joke. Possibly from others who were sick of hearing the same old things in their kids' entertainment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he grows, even if you are not there, you will probably find yourself wanting to only be with him. Biologically, it seems to be axiomatic. We love our kids. They are consistently both the greatest torture and the greatest delights in our lives. If you choose to stay, you might feel the burn of common life. I do every day. But I feel the burn to be with my girls and play nightmare demon hunters in a pink dollhouse with them much more. They are little clones of us. They will love watching silence of the lambs with you if you get excited about it, and you will love watching doc mcstuffins with them because they love it, even if the show makes you want to burn a cable network down. They make the plight of normality a separation that can be shrugged. They make monotony wonderful. They make the dream of playing on stage in front of a million fans seem like a ridiculous joke. They make everything better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say it all like this because I, like you, didn't want to be a father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife may have a different definition of what a family is. I know mine does. So you're both at a pivotal point in your relationship. Does she outwardly express that she expects you to live a common life? Or would she join you if you said you wanted to move to Alaska and fish for crabs 2 months out of the year and hang out making music the rest of the time? She might not be into the whole polyamorous thing but most people aren't, even if they say they are. If you left her to find others who are attracted to this lifestyle you may well find it, but you might also realize your life is no more fulfilled. If you are both unhappy, and you both feel there's nothing you can do. Then you are probably not doing your son any good by staying together. It's most probable you would be splitting up eventually if you indeed feel like you don't love your wife. Or that she doesn't like you, or who you have become in the marriage. But you might just be confused. You're young. Irrational choices are very common in young people. So instead of calculating marital failure off a slump, maybe you should change your scenario a bit. Move. Get a different job, or quit all together and spend all of your spare time trying to do what you want to do. Ask your wife if she wants something else too. Maybe she's just as afraid of the common definition of parenthood. Maybe she wants to live in the forest. But talk it out. I'm guessing she would feel better no matter what your decision is if she truly understood why you turned into a zombie. The journey to un-zombie you may be an adventure in itself. Maybe a good adventure is what you need to realize the day to day life is either not all that bad, or imperative to escape.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Officially I say don't give up so easily. Raising kids is no easy thing, to be sure. But the fear fades quickly when you see how they grow, learn, excel, fail, communicate, paint, laugh, eat, sleep... and everything else in between. I fear a life without them now. And I, like you, didn't want to be a father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="13274" LastEditDate="2015-04-09T00:00:58.977" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T00:00:58.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19390" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19746" CreationDate="2015-04-08T22:18:25.800" Score="6" ViewCount="2573" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son has experienced some sleep training... regression. I don't think that's the right word for it given the circumstances, but here goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started sleep training with him when he was 7 or 8 months old. We got him to where he would sleep through the night more often than not with occasional waking in the wee hours of the morning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he has been teething for about 4-6 weeks. He has one tooth close to fully grown and another that has (finally) broken through the gum-line on the bottom. I can see and feel his top two teeth coming in on the top as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now at 10 months, he is waking up in the middle of the night, every night without fail, to nurse. And he is most assuredly eating and not just comfort-nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has the middle-of-the-night nursing blown away any semblance of the sleep training we did, and how difficult is it going to be to break him of this habit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will be back to update if any breakthroughs occur :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a very normal and predictable bed time routine in place. 7 PM nurse, change the diaper, get in pajamas, read a story, sing songs, down for bed at around 8 PM. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We came home from a long weekend out of town and he got sick (we think). He has(had) a VERY runny nose with clear discharge. This weekend was highlighted by short naps (if any) and waking in the middle of the night with nothing to comfort him. He refused the breast, a bottle, being held, and rocking in the chair. After half an hour of sleep training (Ferber style), we brought him to bed and he finally nursed himself to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem (most likely) is pain from teething that is waking him up. His front two teeth are causing the problem currently. One has completely cut through the gum line, and the other is still working its way. I think the tooth should be all the way through today. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update #2&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the last two nights I have gotten up with him (thanks @Aparente001!) and given him a bottle. The first night was awful... he wanted mommy something fierce. Last night was a bit easier. I rocked him and patted him and he fully calmed down. I thought about trying to get him to go back to sleep, but he gave me the impression that he wasn't going to have any of that. After he put down a 5oz bottle (glad I gave it to him) I laid him back in his crib and he went directly back to sleep. This may be a &quot;wait-it-out&quot; kind of situation (thanks @Ciacciu!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update #3&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;My wife and I &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; got a full night's sleep last night! I have a feeling he wanted mommy when he woke up, but after two nights of getting daddy he figured it was just easier to sleep. Here's hoping this is the new pattern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T13:45:52.320" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T13:45:52.320" Title="Sleep training while teething" Tags="|infant|sleep|sleep-training|teething|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19391" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-08T22:32:43.987" Score="6" ViewCount="4421" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child in this case is 7 years old. Just as an example; maybe he breaks his own toy, clearly by accident, but right after I asked him not to do whatever caused the breaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to calmly tell him that's why I asked him to stop, and to pick up the toy. I figure the breaking of his own stuff would be a punishment in itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, he runs - thinking he's in trouble. If I follow, to explain I'm not mad or anything, he gets more &quot;desperate&quot; to get away from me and ignore anything I say. So I don't chase him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, rather than this example, say he does something he knows is wrong but also warrants a consequence such as time-out or taking away a privilege like game-time. He runs, and I'm not sure what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could chase him down, I did once - but during the explanation of what happened and why he is being punished he just looked angry, like he was ignoring everything and internally blaming someone or something else. I don't think anything got through that running doesn't help but rather hurts his situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried waiting until he has calmed down but he just attempts to avoid me for prolonged periods of time - eventually I go to him and again, it seems like he is making excuses to himself and blaming others, seemingly me, though he doesn't voice it - I'm just going by the anger he shows towards me when he's in trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is my step-son, I have started having a larger impact on his life about half a year ago. I don't ever discipline him in a physical manner, and neither does his mother. I'm not sure where the running comes from. I also usually let his mother do any disciplining, it just seems more effective. I personally have only had to do it less than a handful of times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the correct way to handle this, both for the case where he's not really in trouble and the one where he is? Should I let him calm down or give chase for immediate consequences of his actions? Is he actually hearing me, or do I need to use a different strategy to reach him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-10T12:55:04.243" LastActivityDate="2020-09-28T03:08:34.113" Title="7yo step-son runs away when he thinks he's in trouble" Tags="|behavior|discipline|primary-schooler|communication|step-parents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T23:53:20.733" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Man, I've been frustrated with my life due to some bad decisions I made in moments of weakness, but this puts me to shame!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems like a very manipulative woman you're with, and the relationship is not healthy for you.  She threatened to kill herself if you left, and you said that she got pregnant when she was on the pill? Did it ever occur to you that she got pregnant on purpose to keep you from leaving? You don't even know if this child is yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot; and my ambitions and other friendships have all completely stagnated in the two years I've been with her. I hate the lack of freedom, I hate the sense that all my time is spoken for&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not supposed to ask for clarification, but this sounds like she's stopping you from having friends and from having free time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First thing is that you need to get out of this relationship for your own mental health. It'll be tough financially, not the least of which might be divorce settlements or child support payments, but you let yourself get manipulated into this, so you'll just have to deal with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, there's the child.  I'd talk to a lawyer if I were you, and I'd get a paternity test first, and then look into possibly taking custody of the child from her, because she seems unstable.  The best thing for the child is to have two loving, stable, competent parents, and neither you nor she qualify as competent, so you should look into foster families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14495" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T23:53:20.733" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-08T23:59:18.733" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will never find a partner who is absolutely perfect in every way. We are all human. You and your wife have been together for a number of years and surely there is a strong bond there, whether you realise it or not. We need to learn to accept others' imperfections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I honestly think it's best to sit down and talk this over with her, probably with the help of a mediator or counsellor. Whatever decision you choose, you owe it to your wife and son to be honest. Don't live a lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently you are in a situation where you are with someone who loves you, and you claim you also love. You have known each other for a long time, and have brought a new life into this world together. She is not perfect and neither are you. There are things you want to do but can't, and now that there is a child involved, there will be even more things you will want to do but can't. Such is the life of all parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is your current situation. If you leave her, all bets are off. You may never find someone who loves you and you love in return, and by then it will be too late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your opinion may change once you meet your son. I hope he will be a catalyst in your life to better yourself and be a good father and husband.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is one thing I'm absolutely positive about: whatever you decide to do, don't leave her alone with a newborn with no support. You should stick with her and support her emotionally, financially, and with caring for your son for at least the first 12 to 18 months. Even if after discussing this with her if she tells you to leave, you should insist. I understand you never intended for her to get pregnant and were under the impression she was taking birth control, but this is of no relevance any more. We all know birth control pills don't have 100% success rates, and you decided to take the risk. Things happen, often out of our control, and we must deal with the consequences and act responsibly. This is one of those situation and you have an obligation to your wife and son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I think it would be a good idea to speak with a professional who may be able to diagnose possible depression. It's a real thing that's nothing to be ashamed of, and there are very effective medical treatments that will make a world of difference. You need to approach this whole problem with a clear head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14494" LastActivityDate="2015-04-08T23:59:18.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19225" CreationDate="2015-04-09T00:21:46.400" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This guy's bad news. The idea &quot;to block his number, email address and social media profiles&quot; is absolutely the right thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Considerate&quot; is a good attribute to have, but not at all times and all places. You and your daughter are being very generous to send the young man one last email, and give him one last chance. The odds that he'll take it appear to be small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd do this only from a position of absolute strength. If you know his parents well enough to feel that talking with them might do some good, go for it. But if there's any doubt, stay away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Protecting your daughter is your first priority. Protecting, or trying to reform the young man is way down the list. The latter is the stuff of romance novels (mine for instance), but this is real life and not fiction. So if there is anything to fear, don't even issue the last warning. And the girl friend's warning is chilling; that other girls have trouble &quot;getting over&quot; him. Again, this plays out a lot better in fiction than in reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13664" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T00:21:46.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-09T00:46:25.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, you are not a bad person. Looking for guidance here was a small but important step. When we are faced with tough decisions, it is good and recommended to look for assistance. With this in mind, you certainly should look for a therapist, to keep getting assistance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am definitely not even close to be an expert in parenting, but I felt like I could give you a bit of help as well. I wanted to emphasize that there is no right or wrong answer for your question. Instead, you should read all answers given here, and see what you can learn from each. At this point, there is nothing better to hear some different opinions, to help you think about your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, don't make any rushed decisions! Take your time. This is an important moment in your life, be sure to think it through. My advice would be for you to avoid (for now) taking any brutal decision that would be hard to undo. We all change our minds during life - maybe, who knows, you won't hate being a father that much. Or maybe, you will indeed hate it, but the key is: you don't really know for sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless, your kid is coming. You should at least see what it's like; marriage with a child is a lot different than marriage without one. Besides, even though you didn't want it, it happened. You shouldn't leave right now; if you do, it will be even harder for your wife, and that will affect your son as well. Again, do not take any rushed decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, regarding a few things you said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I always have placed more personal importance on projects and accomplishments and friendships than romance. I want to be important and powerful and change the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a married father doesn't mean you can't work on other projects or accomplishments. It means it will be harder, but not impossible. By the way, I also want to be important and powerful and change the world - but I still didn't decide how exactly I want to change the world. Have you? You could think of your current situation as a challenge, or a first step for becoming powerful and able to change the world. I'm sure you will be pivotal for your child's world, at least. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I can't imagine a more miserable life than to be a monogamous family man.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, I can. I don't want to be rude with this - just wanted to make you think better about this statement. I know you have been going through a hard time, but I'm sure there are MANY fathers in the world that also didn't want to be monogamous family men, but are now EXTREMELY happy with it. Again, I emphasize, don't make any rushed decisions, wait and see what it's like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give yourself time to take decisions. It's better when you divide a big decision in small ones. This lowers your chances of making a big terrible choice. Don't do anything that will be hard to undo - not at this point. Your child will come in two months. In the meantime, give your wife support and get ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't misundertand though - taking time is different than just delaying decisions further and further. You're not to delay your decisions, otherwise you will continue being a zombie, as you said. Taking time means to slowly regain control of your life, instead of doing it all at once - I will say it once again: don't take rushed decisions. Go step by step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, you will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14496" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T00:46:25.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-09T02:10:50.907" Score="67" Body="&lt;p&gt;Playing with &quot;girl&quot; toys at the age of five is indeed completely normal behavior for a little boy. You are correct not to worry and to allow your son to play in the way that he enjoys. It doesn't mean that he is gay, and it certainly won't &quot;make&quot; him gay; his sexual orientation is likely already fixed by the age of five, although he is probably still to young to be aware of, understand, or express it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tone and language of his father's response and his extreme suggestion of a &quot;solution&quot; (that the child live with him after he's been absent for most of the child's life) are very troubling to me. They are clues that the father has very specific ideas about which behaviors are &quot;okay&quot; for a boy, and that he finds anything that pushes against that to be unacceptable. If the father thinks this way, he will make it clear to his children. Your son should be free to grow into who he is and what he likes, with parents who will nurture and guide him, not a parent who wants to force him into one specific type of person--that is, &quot;teach him to be a man.&quot; I worry about this especially because there is a (small) chance that your son may indeed grow up to realize that he is gay, and at that point his father may have already spent a long time teaching your son (even if it is subtle and not overt) that this is not okay, which could be very damaging both to his self-esteem and to his relationship with his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's clear that you love your son very much and want the best for him. He deserves to have parents who will love him absolutely, no matter who he grows up to love in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14498" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-12T20:15:41.210" LastActivityDate="2015-04-12T20:15:41.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-09T02:11:20.040" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend approaching the problem, not running from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said one thing that stood out to me amidst everything else:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...I don't want a relationship with her and don't really like her, I'm still in love with and attached to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This strikes me as a very complicated internal state.  While there is a tendency to say &quot;get out of a situation you find toxic,&quot; a phrasing like this suggests to me that you might end up taking the toxic bit along with you.  This could potentially make the situation even worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether through therapy or on your own, &lt;strong&gt;I would recommend exploring what both of you feel marriage &quot;means.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;  There is almost a 100% chance that there is disagreement on this because you're human.  We almost never perfectly agree on anything.  &lt;em&gt;What entities are involved in this definition?  Is there a religious institution that has some say in its meaning, or is its meaning entirely defined by you two as individuals?&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having that &quot;meaning&quot; behind marriage would be an important start, especially for a polyamorous individual married to a monoamorous one.  Especially given that polyamoury is still new enough on the scene that each individual has a lot of say in his or her definition of it.  From a poly perspective, marriage has a tendency to look like a whole lot of &quot;don't do this&quot; and &quot;don't do that,&quot; because those are really visible from that perspective.  However, it is a whole lot more than that, if you let it be.  Find your definition, and make sure it has some good points to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do put yourself in her shoes.  If she has been suicidal over the thought of you leaving, then her life &lt;em&gt;literally&lt;/em&gt; hangs on a slip of paper - the marriage certificate holding you in place.  That's a tough position to be in.  Resolving this situation most likely does not involve spreading outward, it involves reaching inward.  Give her something to stand on, so that she can stop being so dependent.  Then, the paper may loosen and let you free... or you may find that she's suddenly a whole lot more joyful in your life and want to stick around.  &lt;strong&gt;Either way, building her up is the best course of action.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Polyamoury has a cloying side that leads towards a irresponsable &quot;I can do whatever I want attitude&quot; which is in direct opposition to marriage.  &lt;strong&gt;Those who engage in polyamoury respectfully and responsibly recognize that the mere act of falling in love with a new person has an impact on one's existing lovers.&lt;/strong&gt;  It's a non-zero effect, and will always be non-zero no matter how hard one wishes otherwise.  &lt;strong&gt;One can only get away with claiming &quot;I can do whatever I want&quot; if one strives to only want what is best for the group you are part of.&lt;/strong&gt;  Anywhere below that mystically perfect state of being, you will &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; have to restrain yourself for the sake of your lovers, poly or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation is not actually all that different from marriage.  The wording and approaches are different, so you and your spouse will certainly need to discuss them, but there is at least one way to dovetail the approaches together along the lines of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I am polyamorous.  I am not interested in putting hard lines of 'I will not love Alice' or 'I will not love Barbara' into my life because they feel unnatural.  However, I recognize that we are now bonded, and your desires should now be a part of mine.  I will strive not to fall in love with anyone unless our united-selfs-in-marriage agree it is a good direction.  This is not a guarantee that it wont happen without Our approval. I am imperfect, and we never fully control our own destiny.  However, I will strive.  If it happens, then we will address it knowing we have done the best we possibly can to strengthen Our relationship to overcome it, or join it, or even some option inbetween that We can't even see yet.  The journey is still young.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To tie it back to parenting, your child does not need a ultra-complicated environment with a shattered-shell of a mother whose husband left, or an entrapped father who is always looking at what could have been.  Trying to resolve the issues between you guys, rather than running from them, increases the likelyhood the child will grow up in a healthy environment.  It also increases the chances that your wife will get to have a healthy marriage.  It also increases the chances that, if you do decide leaving is the right decision, you will get to do so guilt free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Attempts to resolve the issue, successful or unsuccessful, benefit all parties involved.  If they work, great, everyone is now happy.  If they fail, everyone can honestly say they tried their best to make it work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastEditorUserId="9043" LastEditDate="2015-04-09T15:18:54.773" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T15:18:54.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19390" CreationDate="2015-04-09T03:09:42.043" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may be way too simple an answer, but it's the one that keeps recurring to me: could it be that your son is waking up because of his gums, but staying awake because he's hungry? In other words, is he getting enough to eat during the day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd try to increase his daytime intake. If and when he wakes up in the night, you could try giving him a refrigerated teething ring, refrigerated bottled breast milk, etc. but no breast to comfort him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're sure he's going to cut a tooth very soon, a dose of acetaminophen at night might help as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not much of an answer, but I hope it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T03:09:42.043" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19391" CreationDate="2015-04-09T05:50:10.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In situations like this I tend to let it go and focus on something else. Disciplining is easier when he accepts it, while he is seemingly running away from. Disciplining comes easier when he has more respect for you, then he will accept it more. Respect must be deserved in a personal relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try showing interest in what he is doing before a situation like this starts. I know you can't look into the future. But give him more attention on a regular basis. He probably feels uncomfortable in some way. I don't know how long you have been together. You say that you usually let his mother do the disciplining. That gives me the idea that you haven't been together for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he has to deal with your presence, and he apparently doesn't know so well how to (in certain situations). If you build a stronger bond, that will become much easier. He will naturally have more attention for you when your relationship is more intense/intimate. The initiative for building a better relationship has likely to come from the adult. A child is more responsive than strategic in my perspective. So when you show genuine interest in his world he will just respond positively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying you don't care enough about the boy, don't get me wrong. What I am saying is that you don't seem to know how to deal with him in certain situations. When your relationship is stronger that will become more naturally by itself, probably solving the problem/question of yours 'automatically' because you are transcending it with something greater: love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarize: Put more work in loving him (playing, showing interest, do something together, etc.) and your problem/question will be solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4705" LastEditorUserId="4705" LastEditDate="2015-04-09T06:04:25.910" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T06:04:25.910" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11283" CreationDate="2015-04-09T09:27:22.407" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Karl's statement about the difference between having a favourite, and engaging in favouritism, is the beginning but not the end of the issue. In fact, the issue is whether any child feels that he is getting less attention than the other children, and no matter how well the parent spreads his time out, children &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; feel that their siblings are getting more attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I handle this is to try to always do different activities with the different children. If I throw one in the air and the other says &quot;me too&quot; then I spin the other around in a circle or fly her like an airplane. If I tickle one on the feet and the other says &quot;me too&quot; then I pick up the other and tickle her like a guitar on my lap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is to give them comparable, but different experiences. Sometimes I will even do an activity with just one, such as take her to the airport to watch the landings, and a different day do something with the other, such as take her with me when walking the dog. Thus they know that even if something looks unfair at the moment, they know that I will &quot;make it up&quot; to them. &lt;strong&gt;Let them know that you cannot be the exact same experience for all of the kids, but you will always be fun, fair experience for them all.&lt;/strong&gt; Address their perception, don't keep count.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T09:27:22.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19391" CreationDate="2015-04-09T09:51:36.570" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very long. I apologize, but the subject is complex and I don't want to leave necessary details out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you mentioned being his step-father, I knew why he was running away: &lt;em&gt;He feels provoked.&lt;/em&gt; (I just didn't know what he was being provoked &lt;em&gt;by.&lt;/em&gt;) The emotional stress of being told what to do by you is so offensive to him that he has &lt;em&gt;no choice&lt;/em&gt; but to get away. You will probably find it much easier in the long run to switch to a very different set of tactics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I need to define &quot;authority&quot;/&quot;authoritarian&quot; in the context I use here. Not every &quot;authoritarian&quot; is an ogre who uses intimidation and corporal punishment to solve every problem. I think most aren't, actually. To me, an example of authoritarianism is the scenario in which the child does something the parent disagrees with, and the parent lectures or otherwise corrects the child, as a superior to a subordinate. The difference in power is a key element, and an undertone that pervades the encounter. In other words, it's not a negotiation. During these interactions, the parent's mind is set up to issue one-way communications, and not to listen. If you remember back to when your parents have scolded you over various things - if you can recall them talking in a way that may have cowed you, and certainly didn't invite a calm, rational debate - that would be one example of the authoritarian conflict resolution approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you were there in his life from early childhood, he &lt;em&gt;will not&lt;/em&gt; accept you as an authority figure unless you have some exceptional emotional bonding experience. (Unless there's an erupting volcano for you to rescue him and his mom from, this is highly unlikely. Situations you will encounter in everyday life don't carry the right emotional context to rewrite those settings in his mind.) This is not a willful, conscious decision, but the result of hard-wired circuits in his subconscious mind; he has no choice in the matter and is simply acting according to impulses he can't understand or control. He believes them for the same reason that you believe your own impulses, e.g. &quot;I love my wife&quot; or &quot;I hate the Steelers&quot; (supposing you do): your subconscious mind tells you so, and you believe it automatically. As an adult, you can understand this, and modify the process &lt;em&gt;a little&lt;/em&gt; from time to time. As a child, the part of his brain that needs to be online to understand this isn't fully online yet and won't be for some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will reject the idea of you exercising authority, and he will &lt;em&gt;hate&lt;/em&gt; you if you try to force the issue or get his mom to force the issue. He sees you as an interloper; he has to do what mom says, but who the heck is this guy? Mom married him, but he's just some dude to me. He isn't my dad just because Mom likes him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he remembers his real father, trying to exercise authority will only make things so much the worse. To this boy, your exercise of power over him makes you a &lt;em&gt;bully.&lt;/em&gt; Believe me, I had friends growing up who &lt;em&gt;constantly&lt;/em&gt; fought with their step-parents, who never &quot;got it&quot; that they were operating according to a perceived bond that wasn't there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The upshot is that you have to give up on the idea of him ever accepting you as an authority figure just because you happen to be married to his mother. That is not a sufficient condition. I don't mean that you shouldn't try to stop him if something terrible is about to happen. I also don't mean that you shouldn't be in charge when your wife is away and you have to look after him. However, authority is not something to rely on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would sit down and have a conversation with your wife. Tell her what I told you, that this is mostly about a bond that your arrival was too late to create. The paradigm of &quot;I'm the man of the house and you will obey me&quot; will not work; you cannot earn someone's trust by subjugating them, and what makes him feel compelled obey his mom is not going to work in your case. It can't; the psychological layout of the human mind doesn't support such a conversion &lt;em&gt;at all.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your wife will need to come up with a way for you to interact with him that isn't predicated on authority. In a way, this is a good thing. Children raised by authoritarian parents tend to have more shrill, brittle thought patterns. They tend to be more demanding, more unreasonable, more insistent that everyone has to comply with their whims, because this is what authoritarianism teaches. Believe me, I know. It has taken years to revise behaviors I learned in my own upbringing, which was often authoritarian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many parents default to authoritarianism because that's easier than trying to explain, and possibly losing an argument that would make them look ineffectual - and also because they allow themselves to become upset, which doesn't exactly motivate a calm, rational conversation. I don't know how many times that happened when I was growing up. Hundreds? &lt;em&gt;Thousands?&lt;/em&gt; I could've done without the need to un-learn all those behaviors. I've been working on it for over a decade and I still have a long way to go. Imagine if your son was completely spared this, and entered adulthood with the skill to resolve his issues with words rather than authority and so much stomping around. You'd be doing him a &lt;em&gt;huuuuuge&lt;/em&gt; favor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite the difficulty of learning new ways to parent, I would argue that it's worthwhile to figure it out. Children raised by parents who use reason instead of authority learn to see multiple points of view &lt;em&gt;automatically&lt;/em&gt;. They learn that being reasonable and thinking about others is a better way to get things done, than to yell and stamp their feet and insist that everything has to be done their way. In fact, if you do this well enough, &lt;em&gt;you may find that there are times he'll come to you instead of his mom.&lt;/em&gt; He'll know that you're on more equal footing with him, if not exactly equal. You'll stop him if you have to, but only after trying to reason with him. He'll know that you won't pull rank on him the second things get mildly difficult, which unfortunately is a mistake that many parents have unwittingly copied from their own parents. He'll see you as someone who's willing to &lt;em&gt;leave him the hell alone&lt;/em&gt; about things every now and then, to let him make a mistake from time to time without making a big deal about it. I can't begin to tell you how valuable that is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time your son cuts up and you give him &lt;em&gt;that look,&lt;/em&gt; you reinforce that sense of being provoked. You trigger his emotions; the running behavior is brought on deck because his subconscious mind knows it'll be needed very soon. &lt;strong&gt;Don't&lt;/strong&gt; trigger him. If you feel yourself getting upset, don't just follow the same pattern you always do. That won't help either of you. Redirect your exasperation into a purposeful plan of action. You'll find it difficult at first, and you'll want to revert to the old behaviors. &lt;strong&gt;Don't&lt;/strong&gt; revert. If you do, figure out what triggered that reversion and remember it the next time you feel yourself about to revert again. Over time, you'll get better at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think in the long term. Use cause-and-effect thinking. The more you do this, the more the old habits of sighing and putting your hands on your hips (or whatever you do that triggers him) will fall by the wayside... &lt;em&gt;and he will appreciate the &lt;strong&gt;hell&lt;/strong&gt; out of you for growing in this way.&lt;/em&gt; He won't expect it. It'll be head-and-shoulders above his wildest dreams. His friends who have step parents will gape with jealousy when he tells them about how you treat him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I'm aware that this may sound somewhat flowery and idealistic. There are hard parts, one of which is figuring out the edge cases. When do you step in and throw your weight around, and when do you reason with him? What's worthwhile to reason with him about, and what doesn't require your correction? If he breaks his toy, you don't have to chastise him; you can just say, &quot;Dang, that really sucks.&quot; The toy being broken is already punishment - it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; suck. You don't have to make it worse; if he expects to break toys and have you replace them, don't do it. He'll eventually learn from the consequences if they're reasonable, and not something that's forced down his throat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will probably mess this up a few times. Don't let yourself slip back into authoritarianism and displays of exasperation. It will be tempting, but if you want to be more than a houseguest in his life, that's the direction you have to go in. You and your wife can figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. I wish I'd been raised by people who cared enough to reach out and ask questions like these, rather than just shouting and arm-waving and punishing any time something went wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: Whoever downvoted this, will you post a comment about why? If you think I got something wrong, I'd really like to know what it is. I like to learn, so let's talk about it and maybe figure something out, okay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14448" LastEditorUserId="14448" LastEditDate="2015-04-11T21:07:12.177" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T21:07:12.177" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19225" CreationDate="2015-04-09T10:10:35.350" Score="6" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Does he even deserve an email from her saying that they've grown apart as friends before she blocks him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's the right question to ask in this circumstance. People's decisions of what to give to others aren't supposed to be based on rational considerations of what the recipients &quot;deserve&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I don't think a &quot;termination of relations&quot; message is such an awesome gift that someone should have to be particularly &quot;deserving&quot; to receive one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you daughter wants to send a final message, let her. What could possibly be the harm in that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T10:10:35.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5407" CreationDate="2015-04-09T10:32:33.750" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I adopted a cat that had been shuffled around from house to house several times in his early kittenhood. One of the people at his last residence was a woman who would pick him up and &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; him to sit in her lap. &quot;Love me! Love me!&quot; she would say. The cat would just get more and more tense over time. It would have this miserable, trapped expression on its face. Finally, she would let it go, and it would bolt away from her at top speed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That woman's mistake was in thinking only of her desire for affection from the cat. It wasn't pernicious - she just didn't know any better. She thought that a human picking up a cat should normally result in happy fun petting time, and didn't realize that the cat had its own preferences and might prefer to do its own thing, and have a say over whether or not it was picked up by a creature ten times bigger and more powerful than it. (Does that remind you of an infant human's perspective? It should!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also wanted affection from him, of course; he's a beautiful cat. Who wouldn't? I never forced him to accept my affection, but still he shied away from me. If I pet him, he would immediately walk away because it reminded him of all the times before when he'd been &lt;em&gt;forced&lt;/em&gt; to accept human affection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't until I left him alone and stopped approaching him for affection that he finally opened up to me. I would still try to pet him occasionally, but if he got up and walked away, I immediately withdrew all attention and left him to his own devices. I wouldn't even look at him - I'd just calmly go about my day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took awhile - months, in fact. Slowly, tenuously, he became more curious about me. I kept up my strategy, and it worked. It STILL works. Now, he follows me around all the time. I'm the &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt; person he goes to for affection. Sometimes he cries when I'm not around. Once it became clear that he wasn't &lt;em&gt;required&lt;/em&gt; to share affection with me, that I would never force the issue, he felt like he had some ability to direct his own actions in my presence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is no cat, but being a mammal, she has a similar limbic system. If she feels crowded, she will associate affection with annoyance and possibly a sense of being trapped. If her father picks her up and she squirms, and he tries to clam her down and coo at her, it won't help matters because she already feels put-upon by the encounter. He can't ease her fears because all she can see is the same undesirable context that has arisen so many times before. She will have to create some positive associations re: being affectionate with her father, and for that to happen, I'm afraid he'll have to wait for her to come to him on her own terms. Let him simply make himself available. Sooner or later, she will relax and come around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thomas Paine's experience stands out for me because a key ingredient was changed. His son was used to being triggered by his father's presence around the house. Being in the same place where you've felt cornered or over-cuddled in the past, seeing the father act like he's about to pick him up, will raise the same emotions he felt in the past when that happened, and he will fight against it. Being in the airplane deleted a lot of the environmental variables that would have normally triggered his resistance, leaving him open to react in a more relaxed way. If you want to spur this process, perhaps you could try going out of town. Stay in a hotel she's never been to before, and have him leave her be as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I would &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; do is say to her, &quot;It hurts Daddy's feelings when you won't hug him.&quot; That will only give her a complex. She's only responding to emotions she has no understanding of or control over. Adding guilt to the mix will only make it &lt;em&gt;worse.&lt;/em&gt; Don't make it about Daddy's feelings. She can't help that. She can't even help her &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; feelings. This is about her limbic system, and you have to interact with it in a way that it understands. Letting her have a sense of personal agency, of control and self-determination - that's the way to do it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14448" LastEditorUserId="14448" LastEditDate="2015-04-09T10:42:20.747" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T10:42:20.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-09T11:28:49.643" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regarding the following statement:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;His dad told me that he &quot;wasn't raisin a faggot&quot; and that he should have our son living with him so he can teach him how to be a man. I won't agree to this because he is my only child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All other issues aside, this sounds like the reason that you would not agree for the boy to live with his father is for your interests only. I'm not judging if living with his father is better for the boy or not, but as a parent you have &lt;strong&gt;the responsibility to do what is best for the child&lt;/strong&gt;, not what is emotionally easy for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do agree that calling the child a potential faggot is quite strong usage of language if he is using this language when speaking to the child. However, if he is using the language to &lt;strong&gt;invoke discussion regarding the child's upbringing&lt;/strong&gt;, a subject that obviously affects the father emotionally, then that is quite proper usage of strong words: to express strong feelings. It does not mean that the father dislikes gay people nor does it mean that the father would treat the child poorly if he is gay. It means that the father would prefer that the child be raised in a fashion that emphasizes traditionally masculine behaviour for male children. That is completely expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see a father who is concerned about the upbringing his son is receiving. I'm not implying that the son is receiving a bad upbringing nor that the mother is doing anything wrong, but the father experienced &lt;em&gt;what he perceived&lt;/em&gt; as abnormal behaviour and expressed his concern. The boy's father has shown A) that he does care strongly about the child's upbringing, and B) that he wants to be involved, even to the point of raising the child himself. This has nothing to do with the child's sexuality and everything to do with &lt;strong&gt;the father's feelings of being left out of raising the child&lt;/strong&gt;. The questioning of the child's sexuality was merely a vehicle for the father to express his desire to help raise the boy. If it wouldn't have been this catalyst, it would have been something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to take this apparently-negative situation and turn it around into a positive situation that leads to more involvement of the father in the child's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T11:28:49.643" CommentCount="18" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19407" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-09T12:09:37.933" Score="6" ViewCount="251" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 9 months old and we started the Ferber method a few nights ago to hopefully eliminate the # of wake times throughout the night. The first night we started with the 3 min as our first wait time, then 5min, then 10, etc.  The second and 3rd night he slept throught the night. The 4th night he woke up at 4:30 crying. My question is: would I still treat it as the 4th night in sleep training and not go in for 12 minutes as my first wait time? Or does it re set (back to 3min) since he started sleeping throught the night? Also--if he cries and then is silent for awhile and then starts crying again does the clock start over? Just looking for the Ferber pros out there that have been around the block and can offer advice :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14517" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-04-09T14:18:52.303" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T14:18:52.303" Title="Ferber method advice" Tags="|infant|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19391" CreationDate="2015-04-09T13:17:26.267" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's fairly simple why he does it:  kids don't like getting into trouble, and his avoidance method works because it delays his consequence and there is no additional consequence for running away.  Kids will adjust their behavior to fit the permissiveness of the adult in charge.  Do you remember in school there would be some classes where the students would misbehave a lot, then the exact same students would be super quiet the next period with the &quot;strict&quot; teacher?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids base their responses on their past experiences with an adult.  If they don't have much experience with a particular adult, they will extrapolate from similar situations, which might mean he is reacting to you based on past experience with his biological father or other previous suitors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember one time we were vacationing at a relative's house.  I asked my kids in a nice tone to please clean up the toys and get ready for nap time.  They promptly and cheerfully did so.  The relative asked his kids the exact same thing using the exact same tone and wording, as if to prove a point.  They vehemently complained, then ignored the request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What that relative missed is our requests were not identical.  Mine carried the weight of many past experiences where the only response I accepted was the prompt one, and I rewarded that promptness by making it a cheerful game, and made non-compliance much more unpleasant than just cleaning up.  His carried multiple reinforcing responses that if the kids complain and don't clean up, they'll get to play for 30-60 minutes longer, and it will only cost some minor annoyance.  This is why your wife's discipline seems more effective.  It's backed by experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More to your specific situation, if you want him to stop running away, first and foremost you need to &lt;em&gt;ask&lt;/em&gt; him to stay.  If he doesn't, there needs to be additional consequences for the avoidance tactics.  It takes time, repetition, and consistency to get those sorts of ground rules down about the discipline process, before you'll be able to just focus on the actual behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T13:17:26.267" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19407" CreationDate="2015-04-09T13:52:20.360" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So here's what I found with a quick search. &lt;a href=&quot;http://baby.about.com/od/sleep/ht/How-To-Help-Baby-Sleep-Using-Ferberization.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This link&lt;/a&gt; says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If your baby wakes up in the middle of the night, start back over in the process starting with the lowest wait time from the beginning of the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Evaluate how the method is working for you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So judging from what you said, I would say go back to the interval you had set from that 4th night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the crying and silent pattern, the clock wouldn't re-set until you go into the room to comfort the baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T13:52:20.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-09T14:23:11.213" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what beliefs you try to instill in your daughter, at some point she will be exposed to multiple points of view and decide for herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe in myself, science and God. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now would be the time to remember Hamlet's lament to Horatio. &quot;There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy [science].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you are sure you have all the answers and your answers are the right answers, then by all means march on. Just do not be surprised 15 or 20 years down the road your daughter doesn't read you the riot act and rebel, even against your best advice, because you tried to decide what is best in areas that most human beings are charged with making those determinations for themselves. Sorry to quote the Bible, but I believe it is all wrapped up in &quot;free will.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14513" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T14:23:11.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19411" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19415" CreationDate="2015-04-09T14:38:16.653" Score="20" ViewCount="3597" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am sure this must be a common issue, but for some reason I can't find a way to track it down via web searches. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are the basics:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm divorced, male, mid-40s. I am the noncustodial parent of a 17-year-old daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just as background, I have been willing to split all relevant travel and most other expenses with my ex, in keeping with our separation agreement. But I also have agreed to other things, such as cat-sitting, for the sake of our daughter. She is very attached to the cat and seems happy that he stays with someone he knows when she and my ex are both away. I make less than my ex does, but I speak up about expenses only when I feel I am being taken advantage of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My ex has applied for and received a travel grant for a trip overseas, which as I understand it, is an award. As long as she documents expenses, I believe they reimburse her for them. She contacted me by SMS to say she wants to take our daughter and has asked me to split the child's airfare with her. Here, I am limited to my memory from a previous grant that she received, but the essence is that they will &quot;cover&quot; her airfare and hotel, etc., as long as she can document it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's fair enough. But when I told her if this is her trip, and it is a grant, she should be able to pay for everything from the money she gets back, she texted me this: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;If you're not able or willing to split these non-covered expenses, I may have to reconsider taking her.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This bothered me for two reasons: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I have never been &quot;unwilling&quot; to try to help my daughter travel or otherwise get something that my ex wants for her (usually travel or school expenses). I want to tell my ex to stop using that kind of language when discussing these issues with me, but I don't know if this is a battle not worth fighting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A ticket to Africa is kind of expensive, so it is tough for me to contribute. And I can eke it out if necessary. But I resent the insinuation that my ex will blame this on me if I don't contribute. Especially if she gets enough money back to cover the whole ticket for this particular trip that she initiated on her own. This is not something my daughter has to do for school or anything. I feel this is a veiled threat that my ex will pin this on me and say, well your father didn't want to pay for you go with me on the great Africa trip.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I don't want to respond in a way that escalates this or gives in to her pushing my buttons. I asked her to switch this discussion to email before I could agree to anything. So at least I can think this over a bit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way you think to handle this kind of situation? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to update&lt;/strong&gt;: Thanks for everyone's answers, including those people just getting to this question now. I just wanted to add a prefatory note that I have had some time to look back on this issue. Basically, I have learned a little more about how to pick my battles, and my daughter went on the trip, I contributed money, and she got a lot out of the journey. My particular battle picking involved deciding that for me, a certain amount of money was worth the peace of mind of not having to dispute with my ex over the financial baggage. I can totally understand how other people would feel differently. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with child support, and after that part is over, I will deal as much as possible directly with my daughter and leave my ex out of the financial equation. I was mixing up that money part with the reality that when a divorce happens with a child involved, there will always be at least some communication necessary with the ex, especially if the child is not yet an independent adult. I'm dealing with that as its own issue and trying to keep it separate from any legitimate financial concerns I might have about splitting costs with my ex. I hope this thread is still useful to others, but if the moderators feel it can be closed, I am OK with that, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14524" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2017-10-13T14:03:24.733" LastActivityDate="2017-10-13T14:03:24.733" Title="Divorce communications - How to deal with &quot;you're unwilling to pay&quot; tactic?" Tags="|communication|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-09T14:42:35.583" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 53, and I have been married for 24 years with 2 sons. In my childhood I spent all my time playing with the dolls people gave my sister; I also won prizes for cookery, sewing and flower arranging - my wife has several items of clothing I have sewn for her. My sister spent all our childhood playing with the toy cars and so on people gave me: she is heterosexual as well. Lots of stupid people made &quot;off colour&quot; comments during my childhood. One of my sons is currently working as a fashion model, and has a long-term girlfriend. This lining up what sorts of toys children like to play with their sexuality is a load of rubbish: just let kids be kids, stop trying to force them into moulds, and they will grow up to be whatever God intended them to be: gay, straight, bi: and who cares as long as they live contented, productive lives?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14526" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T14:42:35.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19391" CreationDate="2015-04-09T14:42:58.923" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's breaking a toy by doing something on the wild side, he's probably out of control at that point, I'm guessing.  Out of control emotionally, that is.  This isn't particularly surprising for a seven year old; it's more common in my kids' age (2 and 3) but seven year olds still sometimes get out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're out of control, and then something bad happens, you get nervous and stressed.  Did you ever have the experience of your toddler laughing after hurting you (or seeing you get hurt)?  Really irritating, because you think they're laughing at your pain.  They're not: they're just nervous, and it comes out in different ways.  Laughter, running, throwing themselves away from you, they're all stress responses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's possible your son is running away to avoid punishment, I suspect that doesn't really work very well, and by his age he knows it.  To identify if this is the case: talk to him.  My three year old can tell me why he's done something about 1/3 of the time; I suspect by 7 it should be nearly 100% of the time, if he knows the reason.  He probably doesn't realize it's a stress response, but if it's actually being scared of punishment, well, that should be easy to find out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to deal with this in my opinion, assuming you are in a &lt;em&gt;safe&lt;/em&gt; place (not in the middle of a museum or a park or on a street - in those cases, address safety first!) is to let him wear out a little bit and burn off the stress.  Then whatever consequences apply, same as before.   You shouldn't add additional consequences unless they're natural ones - ie, if he's wasting time getting ready in the morning and this makes you closer to being late, he probably will lose the last bit of playtime or the choice of what toy to take in the car, because the time was lost - but in general, punishing your child for having emotions and dealing with them in a relatively nondestructive way is counter-productive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While he's running about, if the time is not an issue, just be quiet and wait for him to calm down.  It will happen.  If time is an issue, remind him of the reason it's an issue, and what he's going to cost himself by running around.  Otherwise, wait it out, don't try to stop him; let him learn how to manage his emotions by himself.  When he's calm, you can talk to him about how to handle situations like this; but not until he's completely calm and removed from the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't quite as related to the question, so I wanted to separate it out.  This sort of thing is (for some children) an inevitable outcome of punishment-based discipline.  You know you did something bad, and you now are awaiting punishment: of course you're stressed and nervous.  Focusing not on punishments but on teaching self-discipline, even at a young age (like my children, 2 and 3), leads to less stress in situations like this - because you aren't awaiting the fall of the hammer, but instead know Dad is going to help you learn how to handle the situation you didn't handle very well.  The child still ends up in stressful situations sometimes - but hopefully fewer, and hopefully he learns how to handle them better over time if that's the focus rather than punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T14:42:58.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19411" CreationDate="2015-04-09T18:13:11.690" Score="29" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I want to tell my ex to stop using that kind of language when discussing these issues with me, but I don't know if this is a battle not worth fighting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I presume you got divorced for a reason, possibly related to an inability to change a behavior or a lack of support, communication or understanding, etc. Let this go. The issue isn't how your wife makes you feel, it's whether can you afford this, and whether you want to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not a crime to be unable to afford something, and you shouldn't allow yourself to be manipulated into feeling like a bad parent because of it. Note that this is ultimately your wife's decision:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;If you're not able or willing to split these non-covered expenses, &lt;em&gt;I may have to reconsider&lt;/em&gt; taking her.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is 17 years old, her mom is the custodial parent, and you have gone above and beyond in covering expenses for her in the past. This is all we know about your relationship with your daughter. What we don't know has something to do with this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing nothing of the particulars (where and with whom she would stay for a year if her mother goes off to Africa, whether she would enjoy or be distressed by this arrangement, how she feels about leaving her friends behind, where she would go to school in Africa - for her senior year, I presume - etc.) which seem relevant to discuss with your daughter, I have only three recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Take your wife out of the equation and figure out, based on your finances, not your feelings, whether this is something you can actually do. Don't make assumptions about anything, like whether your wife is hiding a crucial fact about what the grant covers. If you find you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; afford it, go to #2. if not, go to #3. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) If it had been your daughter who made this request of you instead of your wife, and had been kind about it, what would your response have been? If you would be happy to do this for your daughter, then I say just do it for your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) If you can't really afford it, talk to your daughter and explain to &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; why this is too difficult for you to do. While divorced parents shouldn't put their children in the middle, discussing this with your daughter is not putting her in the middle; it's letting her see and experience your reality. There's no reason your ex-wife gets to be the one telling your daughter at this point what you're unwilling to do for her and why. What you shouldn't do, though, is disparage her mother in the process by telling your daughter how her mother can afford it, how you have gone above and beyond what your daughter was entitled to in the past and your ex seems to be ungrateful for now, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, don't make this about her mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't do it, I can certainly understand your feelings that her mother has put you in an awkward and potentially guilt-inducing spot. But teaching a child that money doesn't grow on trees is not without it's merits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the spirit of compromise, if you can afford &quot;x&quot; but not half the trip, you can offer &quot;x&quot; to her mom. Because you love your daughter, and you want to help her to do something &lt;em&gt;she wants to do&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T18:13:11.690" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19411" CreationDate="2015-04-09T18:13:18.140" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would try not to read too much into it.  &lt;em&gt;Unwilling&lt;/em&gt; runs a pretty wide gamut, from &quot;it's no problem but I just don't feel like it&quot; all the way to &quot;I could swing it, but it would be a pretty large sacrifice, and I don't think the benefits outweigh the costs in this particular case.&quot;  This kind of thing is easy to misconstrue in written communication.  I'd recommend resolving it on the phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, your ex is the one who put you in a tough spot by failing to adequately plan for your daughter's expenses ahead of time.  &lt;em&gt;She's&lt;/em&gt; the one who got your daughter's hopes up unnecessarily.  Not that you should use that in an argument, just keep it in mind while you're trying to avoid being motivated by guilt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For addressing it with your daughter, I would focus on what you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do, rather than making it all or nothing.  &quot;I really would like for you to be able to go, but money is tight.  I can do $200, or $300 if you want to count it as your Christmas present this year.  Maybe that's enough to plan a pretty cool trip closer by.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That at least shows her you tried, and sometimes that's actually worth more, especially if you don't have to disappoint her often.  Her disappointment won't necessarily come back on you, or at least not fully.  After all, you don't get to go on the trip either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T18:13:18.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6917" CreationDate="2015-04-09T21:45:39.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Old question, but I'm answering for posterity.  Glad this one had a happy ending.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a thought you may find encouraging--particularly in conjunction with other answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From two years old to about seven my boy had a lisp and trouble pronouncing &quot;r&quot; properly. His affected speech was not so prevalent that he was difficult to understand or teased by other kids, but I wanted to get him into speech therapy anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His mother objected strongly enough that after a school specialist examined him and said &quot;he may be fine; let's keep an eye on it for awhile,&quot; I acquiesced my push for therapy.  He was a bit lazy with the &quot;r&quot; sound, she said. A year later, the noticeable traits nearly vanished within a very short span. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In hindsight fixing it on his own no doubt gave him a little discipline he wouldn't have if he'd been led down the same path by a tutor.  Kids are constantly learning and sometimes need to find their own way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For peace of mind I'd definitely see a professional or a school nurse at least (I liked the school specialist since she didn't have a 'sales pitch' slant to push), but lots of children overcome this on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14548" LastActivityDate="2015-04-09T21:45:39.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-10T00:01:16.060" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of great answers here, but I notice one thing that is missing that you might care to think about.  Perhaps more important than whether a child plays with dolls or toy soldiers, or whatever, is playing with the &lt;strong&gt;parent&lt;/strong&gt;(s).   At least with my kids, I pick what we play with based on my interests.  That might sound unfair, but I know I'll play longer and with more enthusiasm if I play with stuff I enjoy.  I find playing with dolls incredibly boring, so I pick legos (duplos when the kids are in choking age), railroad stuff (Thomas the tank engine), and strategy games (checkers, stratego, chess) and model kits when the kids are older.  If they want to play with dolls or something I don't particularly enjoy, I usually politely decline. But most of the time, they'd rather play with me, especially at ages &amp;lt;10. You might find that your son enjoys interacting with you.  If you are at all worried about him playing with dolls, introduce legos and other toys and explain that &quot;this is what mommy enjoys&quot;.  I agree with others that playing with dolls is not going to make someone gay.  However, I feel (and it's very much a personal, unscientific opinion) that too much doll and dressup play is not particularly good for boys &lt;strong&gt;or&lt;/strong&gt; girls.  I think legos, trains, models, stategy games, etc. more stimulates the mind.  But again, I'm probably biased by the fact that I don't like playing with dolls.  Never saw the point. Good luck to you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14550" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T00:01:16.060" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-10T00:10:29.107" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would be concerned that you might be a &quot;believer in Science&quot; just as your wife is a &quot;believer in Christianity,&quot; and so I will discuss that potential pattern first.  If those words resonate with you, that phrasing may help reframe the situation to help you identify solutions which may be less apparent with other wordings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Science is, at its heart, an epistemological subject.  &lt;strong&gt;Science does not attempt to say what the world &quot;is;&quot; it merely capture how it behaves.&lt;/strong&gt;  However, given its extraordinary track record with some topics, it becomes easy to slide into an ontological phrasing.  Instead of using the most scientifically accurate phrasing of &quot;the theory of evolution is consistent with the collected data,&quot; we start saying &quot;evolution is how we came to be.&quot;  The instant we change to such wordings, we shift from science chasing after the truth to science declaring the truth.  This turns it into a religion in its own right, with its own forms of worship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have fallen into this point of view, this may be a good time to discuss the differences in your beliefs with your wife, because both of you will have a religion that claims to have a source of truth, and they are inconsistent.  &lt;strong&gt;However, let's assume you are talking about the more precise meaning of &quot;science.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;  Not only is it kinder for me to claim you hold this position, but it is even more interesting to discuss.  Far more interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You can &lt;em&gt;easily&lt;/em&gt; teach your daughter science while your wife teaches her religion.  As many have stated, they are compatible.&lt;/strong&gt;  The key feature to remember is that science is founded deeply in statistics.  If there is a reasonable sample size to work with, science has a strong tendency to arrive at a good answer very rapidly.  However, what about situations where N=1... there is only one sample to work with.  None of the statistical approaches used in science apply until you have at least N=2 so you can define a standard deviation.  &lt;strong&gt;Any event which is singular is outside of the reach of science.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's cut right to the chase: &quot;did God create the universe?&quot;  All such debates eventually try to drive towards this question anyways.  Creation of the universe is a singular event.  There &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; no scientific way to approach this, and if you look at big bang theory discussions, most of the scientists admit that all they're trying to do is offer the most likely possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may say &quot;no,&quot; and your wife may say &quot;yes.&quot;  What about teaching your daughter to try to find a life which is &quot;good&quot; regardless of the answer to that question?  Your wife might teach your daughter a religious point of view, and you may teach her how to find ways to make sure she's doing good, even if she gets the answer to that question wrong.  Alternatively, you may teach your daughter a non-religious point of view, and your wife may teach her how to always reach just past the logic into the unknown to find the good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Raise a child which can see both sides of an argument like this, and you raise a child that will be able to deal with tremendous pressure as she grows up, because she will have been raised to look for the good in both sides of the argument.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, if you do it just right, you'll find that the important question of &quot;does my daughter believe in God&quot; ceases to be quite so important.  Both parents will be able to be proud of their little daughter in their own, slightly different, ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastEditorUserId="9043" LastEditDate="2015-04-10T14:50:58.340" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T14:50:58.340" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19359" CreationDate="2015-04-10T00:50:09.140" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see many worthwhile and insightful thoughts here.  I want to add a success story I hope you'll identify with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I am also a musician&lt;/strong&gt; and have a story which bears other similarities to yours--such as speculating how unexpected this was and not being ready to settle down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirteen years ago I learned a child was on his way and also didn't want this responsibility. I lamented everything from the loss of freedom to inadvertently destroying the psyche of an unwanted child. I was caring and supportive throughout her pregnancy but couldn't find the enthusiasm she enjoyed.  I struggled to reconcile many things I perceived as being taken from me by the baby, his mother, and the universe at large.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understanding the gravity of what hung in the balance didn't help ease my decision, it only augmented my guilt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Laid off three months before my son was born--before I even knew he was a he--all I could see was how this would bring financial ruin to me and hardship to my child.  Under-employed for his first six months, I now realize I had the &lt;em&gt;best paternity leave&lt;/em&gt; of anyone I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like you, I had friends assuring me I'd had more choice in the matter than I wanted to admit--both before and after the situation developed. Others here are elucidating hard truths, some of which you'd rather not read.  Here's an encouraging thought to break that pattern:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;My effort to try and make things work paid off better than I could have imagined.&lt;/em&gt;  That's a cliched concept but no exaggeration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was hard. Guilt from feeling I don't deserve the adoration of this child. Stress and sleep deprivation over his all-night fever. A three-year-old determined to abstain from green beans.  Those hard moments pass.  The love of a child who knows he's loved back does NOT pass. Ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Twelve years ago a child was born who--like every other--had no say in the matter.  Helpless on who'd provide food and comfort. No power over who'd teach him to to wipe his butt or to tie his shoes or to play video games or that monsters aren't real. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Against my own desire, I threw myself all-in. I'm gonna be a dad, so I'm gonna try. And if I can become half the dad I've got, my kid will probably be okay. That was neither the first turning point nor the last, but an important one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is now twelve and a half, and &lt;strong&gt;he's my best friend&lt;/strong&gt;.  Sometimes he picks up his toy guitar to mock me.  He plays a little, but most of the time he's less interested in being mini-me. No matter one's stance on 'nature vs. nurture,' he is his own person but looks and acts a LOT like I do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every stage brings both new challenges and new wonderment. We tease each other over fumbled words and tied tongues.  We make each other laugh ganging up on his mother when she says something goofy.  We annoy one another with odd habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We walk the dog and straddle the street, passing the football the entire way.  Talking about everything.  Talking about nothing.  Sometimes not talking at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things are still hard. Money gets tight, work hours grow long, he has homework.  Dishes get dirty and weeds grow in the yard--next to the dog poo. I buy fewer amplifiers and more Tupperware.  That's life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I am the hero of a charming, intelligent and genuine young man. I own immeasurable satisfaction in having helped shape that. And even if 'nature vs. nurture' is &lt;em&gt;entirely&lt;/em&gt; nature, I've been a witness to it--a &lt;em&gt;participant&lt;/em&gt; in it--every step of the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someday he'll have other heroes, and he'll rather spend time with someone else than with me. But I'll know until my deathbed the incisively hilarious comment he made with the word 'parenthetical' is because I taught him the word's definition. I'll always know I gave him his first job--pulling weeds to earn a bionicle--in addition to having taught him right from wrong and how to frag zombies. I take more pride in watching the young man he's becoming than any of the crap I do at work, any of the songs I write, no matter how nice the lawn looks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I once wanted nothing more than to be a rock star.  But I've already changed the world...I've shared my son with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In twelve short years he's given me far more than I've given him. Most of what I expected to sacrifice was my negative exaggeration. Even if my dismal forecasts had come to pass, I wouldn't change a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Twelve years ago I made a reluctant but steadfast decision to support an unborn child. It was far and away the best choice I ever made.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14548" LastEditorUserId="14548" LastEditDate="2017-06-15T22:28:03.460" LastActivityDate="2017-06-15T22:28:03.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14862" CreationDate="2015-04-10T05:36:23.290" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the best piece of advice is to tell your son, &quot;Wear a condom.&quot;  Definitely don't believe a young woman is taking the pill (correctly) even if she tells you she is and especially if you aren't even in a real relationship with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other observations that seem obvious:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;this girl is using sex to be with your son.  Don't feel sorry for her or worry about your son being a pig (yet).  He was honest.  She is letting him take the car for an extended test drive hoping he never brings it back to the dealer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your son just said what most 20-something boys would say if girls could read their minds.  He just had the balls to tell her.  He might mean it now, he might mean it in a year.  He doesn't know about her yet and doesn't want her to get attached.  They are adults so who cares.  Now this could backfire if he really likes the girl a few months from now... but the chances are if she was the one he wouldn't have said it.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if anything his honesty trumps everything else.  He isn't going out and sleeping with 4 girls and lying to them all.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if he sleeps with another girl she will be hurt.  She might not say anything, she might even keep seeing him but she will be hurt.  It is really hard to have this kind of relationship without at least one person getting hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7004" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T05:36:23.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19214" CreationDate="2015-04-10T06:30:44.800" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't sweat it. Although my wife and I constantly 'dangle the carrot' (weekend video games, friends coming over etc.), I look at meal time as a time to enjoy each other's company and reconnect at the end of the day. Making her part of the enjoyment conditional on her work builds tension and holds her to a different standard than you do (do you get the treat if you don't put in a full effort that day?). Most of all, I find it very positive to simply validate their feelings without letting them off the hook. Too often we need 'immediate correction' when would should just say, &quot;That's ok. Take your time,&quot; and within ten minutes to an hour, they are right back on their game as the doldrums they seemed mired in have passed. Best of luck!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14556" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T06:30:44.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19214" CreationDate="2015-04-10T07:29:25.403" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The obvious &quot;con&quot; with this approach is that the child is going to realize that you're setting the performance bar for receiving dessert arbitrarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As soon as they work a little bit harder, they might get dessert once, but the next day you'll just raise the bar again like in Catch-22.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the child will realize that only rational thing to do is to essentially &quot;go on strike&quot;, by systematically &lt;em&gt;underperforming&lt;/em&gt; until you dismantle the dessert reward program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T07:29:25.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6220" CreationDate="2015-04-10T08:07:46.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my  two daughters preferred their mother during their first few years. My oldest daughter (now 7) was scared of all men until she was 2, including me and my father. It was very hurtful but it passed. Now she is really, really close to me, much more than with my wife. My youngest daughter (now 3) is just getting from being mommy's girl to being closer and closer with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped me, was not trying to occupy the &lt;strong&gt;same&lt;/strong&gt; role as my wife. She was the nurturing, I was the fun one. When the kids grew older, my wife was the strict one, I was the understanding one. My big break through was actually a simple thing - bathing time. I was simply more careful when washing their hair, so they got zero shampoo in their eyes. They loved me for it... Sometimes it's the smallest things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So tell your wife to find ways she can complement you as a parent and focus on those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14462" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-11T12:49:38.197" LastActivityDate="2019-06-11T12:49:38.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19391" CreationDate="2015-04-10T09:01:21.747" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;DD, could he be trying to express a feeling that you don't have a parent's right to discipline him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That would explain the apparent resentment he's showing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like you and his mum might - consciously or subconsciously - share that feeling, as you say that it's almost always his mum that disciplines him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest that you and his mum sit down with him - sometime when he's calm and he's not done anything wrong - and ask him how he does feel about it. Try to get to the root of what feeling he's trying to express by running away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the issue &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; that he feels you don't have a parent's right to discipline him, then it could help for you and his mum together to take the approach that when she's not there, you're disciplining him &lt;em&gt;on her behalf&lt;/em&gt;. I.e. that you're disciplining him in a role more like that of a teacher or a childcare worker - who has the right to tell him what to do in spite of not being his parent - rather than that of someone usurping (from his point of view) the role of father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a psychologist's view:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Primary responsibility for parenting should be left to the biological or responsible parent. Children who have lost one parent don’t want to lose another. Children will naturally seek the support and help of a responsible adult. But they don’t want to share a parent with another adult. A couple should begin to co-parent equally when they formalize their relationship and make a commitment to each other and members of the family. This commitment, when accepted by a child and supported by other family members, will provide a helpful structure. Over time this will enhance a child’s emotional and psychological well being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Co-parenting requires cooperation between the responsible parents and it requires consistent discipline. Blending a family is not easy. Some children will test the relationship between a man and woman. They will break the rules, ask for exceptions and challenge parents to make a choice between them and the other parent. Children need guidance, instruction, training, choices, consequences and supervision. These are roles that any caring and responsible adult can provide. Regardless of the approach to parenting, couples should never threaten the bonds between a parent and their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.crisiscounseling.org/Articles/BlendedFamilies.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parenting In Blended Families&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.crisiscounseling.org/ConnerProfile1.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Michael G. Conner, Psy.D&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's some excerpts from an article on the subject:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be mindful of your expectations. When blending a family, everyone has expectations. Unspoken or unrecognized expectations can set you up for conflict. Your spouse/partner may expect you to discipline their child at times, but their child may not be expecting that. Now who’s caught in the middle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may be expecting your stepchild to love and respect you. That child may be feeling confused or insecure and actually behave in a way that communicates the exact opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Agreeing on how you will discipline your kids—and coming up with a plan together—is a good way to go about getting on the same page. Many families have a system where the biological parent will discipline his or her own child, with the stepparent’s support. This works as long as the two of you agree on a fair method of discipline for all kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But remember, all families are different and have different needs.  One stepchild we saw in therapy actually complained about her stepfather never providing any discipline for her.  She felt he favored her half-brother over her because he would discipline his own son, but avoided giving her consequences or setting limits with her.  Although this is a rare case, it brings up the importance of finding what works best for you, your spouse and your stepchildren. Communication between you and your mate is essential for a successful family, in any situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.empoweringparents.com/5-ways-to-manage-conflict-in-blended-families.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Stepchildren Making You Crazy? 5 Ways to Manage Conflict in Blended Families&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T10:34:44.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19411" CreationDate="2015-04-10T11:45:35.433" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read what your ex is saying very differently than you do. As a result my advice is going to be a little different from the other answers. You quote her as saying:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you're not able or willing to split these non-covered expenses, I may have to reconsider taking her&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then you call this a “you're unwilling to pay” tactic. I want to pull you back from the edge a bit. &lt;strong&gt;I don't think it's a tactic at all.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, &quot;not able or willing&quot; is pretty much identical to &quot;not going to&quot;. She's saying &quot;if you don't cover them&quot; whether the reason is that you can't, or the reason is that you don't want to. No matter the reason, if you don't cover the expenses, something will happen. She's not accusing you of being unwilling, and she's not even saying that being unwilling is wrong of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, she's reminding you that although she has a grant to take herself there, and presumably to cover a hotel room or apartment that your daughter can share, there are expenses relating to taking your daughter (starting with plane fare I presume) that are not covered. Since they're not covered, if you don't pay them, either she pays them or they can't be incurred. So far this sentence is neutral. It's not a tactic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, the mildest threat in the history of nasty divorces: I may have to reconsider. Not &quot;I won't take her.&quot; Not &quot;I will reconsider taking her&quot; (a reconsideration which could go either way.) But I may have to reconsider. A reminder that just as you are not made of money, nor is your ex. You don't have plane fare to Africa kicking around down the back of the couch cushions and nor does your ex. So if you can't split the expenses, maybe your daughter can go and maybe she can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with the others who encourage you to answer the question: &lt;strong&gt;is it worth half a plane fare to give your daughter a way cool trip to Africa?&lt;/strong&gt; But more importantly I want to show you that your ex did not say to you things like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you can't man up and shoulder your responsibilities by paying her whole plane fare so I can have a wonderful free trip, then she can just stay here with you and it will all be your fault&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you don't pay for this trip I will sue your ass and the lawyer will cost you more than the plane tickets ever would&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I will tell her you don't care about her enough to chip in a few bucks for her trip&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'll pay for the whole damn thing myself but you are not seeing her again until she is 18&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not everything is a tactic. I don't see anything in what you've written that suggests her grant will cover your daughter's fare. I don't see anything in what you've written that suggests she's trying to make you feel bad. I know you two don't like each other any more. I know plane tickets to Africa are expensive. I don't see any threats to blame anything on you. I think your history together makes it hard for either of you to see anything the other person says or writes as neutral. To me, who doesn't know either of you, this all seems pretty darn neutral.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can afford it, a trip to Africa will be very cool for your child. And this moment may be an opportunity to interpret some of what your ex says a little differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T11:45:35.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-10T12:50:36.633" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, he's just fine.  Nothing to correct here.  Second, I don't think sexual orientation is a choice or something you can change.  You're born with it.  I see it like this.  If the doll represents anything, it most likely represents his mother.  He lives with her, sees her living as a woman, dressing up, putting on makeup, etc... and he's emulating that.  If anything, he's exploring the female gender.  He wants to know how women work.  All men want to know how women work.  Hell, show me a man that wouldn't dress a woman himself if he had a say in what she wore.  Of course, Stripper's Discount Warehouse would experience a boom in sales if that were the case, but that's a topic for a different discussion.  I think your son likes looking at women.  I don't think your son sees himself in the doll.  I think he sees a representation of a woman and wants to understand them.  Kids learn to understand the world around them through play and playing with dolls may well lead him to an understanding of women that other men will, one day, envy.  But don't let him play with Smurfs.  That's just messed up.......kidding.  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14564" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T12:50:36.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4684" CreationDate="2015-04-10T13:30:46.117" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just have to suggest it here. I believe that there is a natural progression where most teenage to college age people reject completely rightly the belief of their parents because it is not their own. That's perfectly normal. You have to now find for yourself what do you believe. It may turn up to be the Flying Spaghetti Monster or perhaps another Christian denomination (or non-denomination) or perhaps atheism. It is for you to discover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is that there is awful a lot of work in front of you. You should really work hard on finding out what you believe and what you don’t believe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Couple of things to consider (obviously I &lt;strong&gt;am&lt;/strong&gt; a Christian, so this is from my (biased?) point of view):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQqq3e03EBQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQqq3e03EBQ&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHyqDGAiEpA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHyqDGAiEpA&lt;/a&gt; (that is I think very relevant)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;there is a ton of thinking on the postmodern Christianity founded mostly by the people who were similarly outraged from the faith of their parents. Search for the &quot;Emerging Church&quot;, &quot;postmodern Christianity&quot; etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck with your parents! Love them a lot!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Matěj&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14557" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-10T14:02:16.980" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T14:02:16.980" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14862" CreationDate="2015-04-10T13:35:02.917" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Drawing on my personal history I've always found that FWB have a very short shelf life.  First time around she wanted kids, a family, etc.  I didn't and after a little bit of time she moved on and found what she was looking for.  We're still friends to this day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second time around I made it very clear I had intentions of moving across the country.  Time went on I'd keep repeating what my intentions were and I found that she was just hoping I'd change my mind or want to have her move with me (I wouldn't have any part of moving someone away from their kids).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In both situations, people got hurt.  Didn't matter how clear it was made.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your son's situation, he's young, it's a perfectly natural thing for him to do what he wants to do.  Heck he should while he's young.  It's certainly her choice to stay once it's made clear to her, it's also his option to knuckle up and move on since it'll end up like that and let her get on with her own life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14485" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T13:35:02.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19434" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19441" CreationDate="2015-04-10T14:41:52.480" Score="30" ViewCount="8805" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other day I told my son to not waste hot water, as it is a waste of energy. He then asked what that is. I want to explain it well, also from a physical point of view, since I find it important. What shall I tell him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Thank you all very much. Energy appears to be too abstract to explain to a 5 year old in terms of physics. It is definitely not done in one day. I showed him the meters for gas, electricity and water today and explained that we have to pay what we consume, and we can not spend that money elsewhere. That would be the value of resources, which really matters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On explaining energy, I think the best answer was to make him rub his hands, converting mechanical into thermal energy. And on that basis one can start to explain conservation of energy and it's different forms. Much later, one can try to explain that some forms of energy are more versatile than others, and, if one has an understanding, why that is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, thanks a lot,  I will check the answer that suggested to show the meters, but most others were also good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14567" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-12T21:59:00.683" LastActivityDate="2020-06-13T17:26:55.970" Title="How do you explain to a five year-old what energy is?" Tags="|primary-schooler|education|science|" AnswerCount="19" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T15:02:45.543" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's one explanation aimed at primary-age children which is probably basic enough, although of course it's focussed on what energy &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; and what we use it for, rather than what energy &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt;. But that's probably the best you'll get them to understand at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;h2&gt;Energy Makes Change&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Energy&lt;/strong&gt; makes change—it produces a change of some kind; it does things for us. We use energy to move cars&#xA;  along the road and boats over the water. Energy is used to bake a cake in the oven, and to keep ice frozen in&#xA;  the freezer. It provides power so we can listen to our favorite songs on the radio, and light our homes. Energy&#xA;  makes our bodies grow and allows our minds to think. Scientists define energy as the ability to do work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Energy is found in many different forms such as &lt;strong&gt;light&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;heat&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;motion&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;sound&lt;/strong&gt;, and &lt;strong&gt;growth&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What Is Energy?&quot;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.need.org/files/curriculum/guides/Primary%20Energy%20Infobook.pdf&quot;&gt;Primary Energy Infobook&lt;/a&gt; (p.7), National Energy Education Development (NEED) Project&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T15:02:45.543" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T15:18:22.533" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Energy is the power to do things.  I'm sure your 5 yo is full of it.  When he is full of energy he can run and play for hours on end and have a good time.  When he runs out, he can't do that any more and needs to sleep and eat to build up more so he can play again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many kinds of energy, like electrical and heat.  Electrical energy lets the lightbulbs shine and lets the TV run.  Heat makes the water (or the house in the winter) nice and warm.  Chemical energy (like what we &quot;store&quot; (ie. potential energy) in gasoline) lets us move cars so we can go places faster, like the park or grandma's house.  There are plenty of other kinds and examples of energy and how we use it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he knows that energy lets us do all these awesome things and that getting back energy is hard (ie. if you want energy to play you have to eat and spend all that time sleeping, or you have to spend money to buy electricity / gasoline, etc) it should be pretty easy to explain why we don't want to waste the energy we put so much effort into getting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T15:18:22.533" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T16:13:36.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Energy is potential.  It gives us the ability to do something useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there's energy coming into the house, and it has the potential to provide light, heat, and motion, but until we connect it it's only potential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once we turn on a switch, or plug in the fan, the energy is converted into light or motion until we turn the switch or fan off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have energy - your body converts food into energy, and stores it as sugars and fats.  Then, when you want to move your arm or legs, your body uses those sugars and fats to make the muscles work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The house doesn't use food - there are companies that provide energy to use in wires and pipes, giving us gas and electricity.  The water also comes through a pipe, and we use some electricity or gas to heat it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more hot water you use, the more energy the house uses to keep it hot for you, and the more we have to pay these companies who feed the house its energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="1700" LastEditDate="2015-04-14T14:28:36.920" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T14:28:36.920" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T16:14:52.297" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six and eight year olds know energy as &quot;the ability to do work&quot; or, as AE mentioned, the ability to change something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make the water hotter?&lt;/strong&gt; That is change and requires energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bounce more photons off the walls so that our eyes can collect enough photons to see?&lt;/strong&gt; Those photons move very fast so it takes a lot of work (energy) to move them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that I gave two definitions. I try to do this with most principals (scientific and moral) and then I show them how both definitions are equivalent. This makes it easier to explain things from multiple angles. It also gives them more tools to explore the world around them and come to their own conclusions. Then when your child asks where does the energy come from to push the water out of the tap so fast, you'll be able to ask them how they realised that it requires energy and you'll both be proud!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T16:14:52.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T16:26:34.370" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Find a game that uses some kind of energy, whether it's magic points or player energy or run speed or something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids latch on to games and they will quickly realize they don't have enough energy for every single thing they want to do. Once they have a good understanding of this concept, you can start to apply it to all kinds of resources that are limited. We don't want to waste food because the family has limited money. We don't want to waste gas because the world has limited hydrocarbons (or as you tell him, raw oil to make gas from). We don't want to leave the TV on or hot water because there's a limited amount of energy no matter where it comes from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can explain to him what energy is easy enough, but he needs to understand resource management before he can understand what wasting really is. Like many difficult concepts, games naturally convey these lessons in modes he can understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T16:26:34.370" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T16:46:14.827" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;These other answers seem too abstract for a 5-year-old. I don't think he's ready for that yet. Stick to the visible and concrete. Take him outside and show him the power cables going to your house, that lead into your fusebox/meter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show him the meter moving. Explain to him that there's a company that makes electricity (not quite the right words scientifically, but let's keep it simple) and sends it to you over those wires. Those wires then go into the house, to the outlets where you plug things in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things like the blender; the computer, and bigger stuff like the oven and water heater. As you use electricity, the meter counts how much and then the company sends you a bill. Show him the bill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to get a bit more eco-friendly, mention to him that the company that makes the electricity does it by burning coal and we want to minimize that, too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14573" LastEditorUserId="9910" LastEditDate="2015-04-11T09:16:52.690" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T09:16:52.690" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19442" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19446" CreationDate="2015-04-10T17:12:16.157" Score="4" ViewCount="5691" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a very intelligent three (almost four) year old who has a mixed relationship with thunder and lightning (see an &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/12672/fear-interest-in-thunder-and-lightning&quot;&gt;older question&lt;/a&gt; from me, for example).  He likes seeing it, but is also afraid of both.  Part of this stems from probable sensory disorder - loud noises bother him much more than most children; but I think some of it is fear, as well (as he fears it even when it's not happening currently), in particular fear of the &lt;em&gt;unknown&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the ways I'm trying to get over this, in addition to that from the other question, is to help him understand what lightning and thunder are in a physical sense - ie, an approachable but accurate scientific description.  I want to help him understand what lightning and thunder are, what is &lt;em&gt;dangerous&lt;/em&gt; about them, and what is &lt;em&gt;not dangerous&lt;/em&gt; about them; and why we are (mostly) safe from both while indoors.  In general, I explain physical phenomena as completely as possible, given his age; for example, I explain that rain comes from the sky when clouds are too full of water (which is true, to a limited extent).  I won't explain barometric pressure yet, but cold/hot air masses I might explain at some point soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I explain this to a preschooler, so that he will have as complete of an understanding as possible at his age, and in particular focusing on having a good idea (in his head) of what they are so they're not as scary?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T19:02:37.453" Title="Explaining Thunder/Lightning to a preschooler" Tags="|pre-schooler|fears|science|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19442" CreationDate="2015-04-10T17:25:13.200" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good question but, in my experience, the details don't matter -- he won't remember them any way.  What he will come away with is a feeling of being &quot;grown up&quot; and worthy of an explanation, a belief that there's nothing magical or unknown about the event, that it's not dangerous even if it is scary, and that &quot;Dad has it covered&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may remember some of the broader concepts and help him make better sense of other things or even more easily understand it the next time it is explained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, &lt;strong&gt;cherish&lt;/strong&gt; those moments.  It's a wonderful way to interact with a curious child.  I'll never forget walking with my 4-year old son in a light sprinkle when he asked me, &quot;How does rain go up?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T17:25:13.200" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19442" CreationDate="2015-04-10T17:38:42.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does your child understand static electricity yet? If not, do you have anything to explain it with? (Rubbing sock feet on a carpet to get a little spark, for example.) If so, you can then explain that lightning is like that little spark but on a much much bigger scale, so much bigger that it's dangerous if it hits you, though a house protects you from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're able to get an audible noise from the spark (or if your child believes you that there's a little click), then it's simple enough to explain that thunder is that same noise scaled up. I don't know if I would get into the time delay between the flash and the noise, but if asked I would say that the lightning was miles away, and the light is so much faster than the sound that it got to you first. I would want to point out that a delay between the flash and the sound is one of the ways you know you have nothing to worry about from thunder and lightning. That delay proves it's far away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a children's book about this called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.ca/Thunder-Cake-Patricia-Polacco/dp/0698115813/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1428687224&amp;amp;sr=8-7&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Thunder Cake&lt;/a&gt;. Reviews on Amazon are good, though not all reviews from reviewers are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/0Ov4S.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Thunder Cake&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's probably a good idea for you to read it first to see if it's something that would be good for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T17:38:42.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-10T17:52:44.970" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is very little I can say that hasn't already been said. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Disclosure: I don't have a son (&lt;strong&gt;yet&lt;/strong&gt;, but that's another story for another day) but I have kids.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point being that if I did have a son there will inevitably come a day where he would want to play with his sisters' toys. There is a clear distinction between behavior I would define as okay for a brother with his sisters and behavior that needs correction. Me personally, I wouldn't let that behavior continue too far beyond 5 or 6 years old, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't let him play with them by himself, but that's just me and my wife. I would also say that if there were no little girls in the house, there would be no Barbies/Girls toys for him to play with either. You mentioned he was your only child but didn't mention where the Barbies came from, or where he's at when he plays with them, so I'm curious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one on this site knows your son better than you, and you must observe your son and see if he's showing behavior that needs to be corrected. Anyone can tell you not to worry, but we're not there when you see him interacting with the Barbie. He could just like girls (and a Barbie is like a girl, to a 5 year old anyway), or it could be a sign of something deeper. Part of the job of a parent is to correct our children's behavior if need be. It sounds like you do a great job already of observing him and how he acts, you should keep it up. If he displays behavior that makes you uncomfortable, then you can change it. You know how you are and how his father is, so you should be able to spot behavior that can turn into a problem if it continued on it's own. The good thing is at his age now his attention span is so short that you can easily expose him to other things to keep his mind off of the Barbie dolls, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you didn't ask about this, but children should have both parents in their lives if at all possible. I'm not saying send your son to live with his father permanently, but your son at least deserves to continue learning who his father is, and at this age if the father wishes to spend time with him, then (if there is no legal standing preventing it) you should continue to let the son visit, or vice versa. Your son is old enough to tell you what happened at dad's house and if it makes you uncomfortable then you should handle that. Eventually, if there comes a day where your son no longer wishes to see his father, then at that point it's up to your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update in response to comment&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't mind the d/v, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/users/3858/bighomie&quot;&gt;my beliefs usually attract those on this site&lt;/a&gt;, but since I was asked, to answer your question, I didn't say the boy shouldn't be allowed to play with dolls. I &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; say that I would monitor and correct that behavior if I felt that letting it continue would not be in my sons best interest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To elaborate, in an answer above there is a paragraph that starts &lt;code&gt;If you let his father take the reins on this...&lt;/code&gt;. I respectfully disagree with that paragraph completely. I will agree that &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; father might not be the best person to handle the situation, but teaching a child that something is wrong is not universally detrimental to that child's mental well being. Children are moldable by their very nature, and it is the parent's job to mold them. Simply put, if a child knew what they wanted, and knew right from wrong, then they'd be wise enough to make their own decisions, but they don't, so they're not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be blatantly specific, if I felt my son was starting to become confused and not understand there is a difference between boys and girls (not &lt;em&gt;the&lt;/em&gt; difference, just that there &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; a difference), then any behavior that contributes to that confusion needs to be monitored and corrected if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's be honest: The OP is worried her son may grow up effiminate, or worse, homosexual. The father is as well. It's obvious from the question, and it's an understandable fear. How people answer this question will be largely (if not wholly) governed by their views on homosexuality in general, which is okay. Actually, I largely agree with the accepted answer of Wirehead's, but wanted to expound because I feel that it's less black and white and more of a gray area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I obviously disagree with statements such as &lt;code&gt;..Heterosexual and homosexual attraction are simply the result..&lt;/code&gt;, but I didn't downvote, because everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and it could have possibly turned into a flame war. Back to the topic though, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I do not believe that boys playing with barbies will inherently make them effiminate or homosexual, although I do think encouraging female behavior in a male in general can lead to this if left to continue.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This belief is more from personal experience than it is from being a Christian. I know someone &lt;em&gt;firsthand&lt;/em&gt; who had two sons, let the oldest dress up as a girl, encouraged this behavior, and, once the child was a teenager(not of legal age), gave him estrogen pills. After seeing this, his little brother has now followed in his footsteps, &lt;em&gt;including&lt;/em&gt; the pills. The father is around, and I have no idea why he didn't object to this. In my opinion this should be illegal, but I digress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe this particular example is the result of behavior that was damaging to the child's mental health being encouraged. That is an extreme case yes, but I believe it's relevant to the OP's question because of the ultimate result, and also furthers my point about detrimental behavior being encouraged or allowed to continue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once again, Let me further be clear: I don't believe a boy playing with his girl cousins' barbies with his cousins is harmful, to a certain extent. This is no more harmful than jumping rope or playing hopscotch. However, I wouldn't let those girls paint his nails or put make up on him, which could cause confusion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, there are plenty of 'gender-neutral' toys and games that every kid should have, 'gender-neutral' in this case meaning toys that don't carry the gender stereotype with them (barbie dolls, for example). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, of course, the question may come up about letting girls play with toys that are traditionally played with by boys. I don't have a problem with this either, but again to a certain extent. I'm a little more relaxed about this for the simple reason I've seen more girls that were tomboys when they were little turn out normal than I have effeminate boys, although it does happen. I know this will warrant downvotes from those that agree with the homosexual lifestyle in general, but I'm not in this for votes: The OP asked a subjective question, so I gave an answer based on my beliefs, as did everyone else. No one here can say without a shadow of a doubt that what will happen one way or the other, we're all just giving insight based on our own life experiences and beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-04-12T00:53:38.043" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19442" CreationDate="2015-04-10T19:02:37.453" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Essentially, &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thunder#Cause&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;thunder&lt;/a&gt; is caused by the air having to move incredibly fast because the lightning &quot;pushes&quot; it out of the way so quickly. (Technically, the heat of the lightning causes a compression of the surrounding air molecules which then expand outward)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From that, we can develop a number of experiments or activities that illustrate these different qualities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you drive a wedge between two objects slowly, the objects will slowly push away from the wedge. If you drive the wedge in quickly, the objects will quickly move away or even fly away. See: A hydraulic log splitter vs. splitting with an axe. The wedge is the lightning, the objects are the air. For a hands-on example, I'd use some upside-down plastic drinking cups for the objects, and my hand for the wedge. If I go slowly, the cups will only just move to make room for my hand. If I go &lt;em&gt;fast as lightning&lt;/em&gt;, the cups will fly away and maybe make some noise when they hit other things!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you compress a spring, it bounces away quite quickly. Just like the air has to move quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If an object moves quickly, it usually makes a lot more noise. When you swing a stick quickly through the air you get that &quot;whoosh&quot; sound, because it's moving so fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be helpful to point out that air already makes noise at other times, such as when the wind howls. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are surely many examples you can use to demonstrate these concepts, but it's all going to depend on his age. I think the cups example and swinging stick examples are most likely to make an impression that also leads to a mental connection with thunder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The spring example is better suited for an older child. The &quot;fast objects make more noise&quot; is alright, but could lead to some false conclusions (race cars aren't really so loud because of their speed, but because of their motors).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how to explain lightning to such a young child aside from a static shock example, like @Chrys suggests. I'm not sure a sound is necessary, but just the idea that the shock &lt;em&gt;happens&lt;/em&gt;. Then, you can relate the lightning to be a shock like that, but between the clouds and the ground instead of the playground slide and his arm!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A way to visualize the shocks is to make a blanket highly static charged (throw a wool one in a dryer for awhile!) and take it to his room at night (or when it's sufficiently dark). Then, as you unfurl/rub the blanket it should cause &lt;em&gt;visible&lt;/em&gt; static shock. If you're lucky, or maybe skillful, you might be able to  make the shocks appear while you're both underneath the blanket like a tent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The blanket trick would probably be more successful in the winter, or with a dehumidifier, unless you live in drier country. Using a clothes dryer might negate the effects of humidity, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T19:02:37.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19447" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T20:12:19.920" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of the existing answers I think &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/19435/1087&quot;&gt;A E's&lt;/a&gt; is excellent, I will just add that you might also want to explain/emphasis that energy is not just something that exists that can be consumed for various purposes and then is disappearing afterwords (e.g. the first law of thermodynamics). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fuel in a car is stored energy that transfers into motion, heat and sound.&#xA;Wood that is burned transfers into heat and light, sometimes sound as well. A ball pushed of the edge of the table transform into motion and sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The energy of the electricity coming into the house will always transfer into something else. Help him come up with examples of this on his own, for instance&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;TV - Light, sound, heat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Washing machine - Motion&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Water heater - Heat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1087" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T20:12:19.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19327" CreationDate="2015-04-10T20:29:14.140" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might not be easy but definitely go for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having some personal and family/friends experience in multilinguisme with kids my advices would be (sorry for not putting the references for my claims):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As much as you can, find &lt;strong&gt;kids that would speak Russian with yours&lt;/strong&gt;. Making Russian an important social language makes kids to pick it up much faster. That can be difficult though as kids usually speak the language of the country they are in.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start speaking Russian &lt;strong&gt;as soon and as much as possible&lt;/strong&gt;. It is hugely important (for yours and his affect as it is a mother tongue, for  his intellectual abilities as a third and very different language, and even for the mental health of the to be grown up as many studies show that daily practice of as many languages as possible has a huge protective effect against various mental diseases) even if it comes with a cost (it can be tiring specially at the beginning). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be &lt;strong&gt;as explicit as possible&lt;/strong&gt; when you speak (signs etc.). It has been proved to be determinant for kids to pick up a language. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make it &lt;strong&gt;as fun as possible&lt;/strong&gt; and at least at the beginning do not try to force the kid to answer you in Russian. That is personal experience: language switching can be tiring even for kids so &quot;no fun&quot;=&quot;little progress&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In all of it &lt;strong&gt;remember their are Huge differences&lt;/strong&gt; between kids. My 5 years old enjoys switching between three languages and almost never mixed them (I'm French and almost always speak French but when reading English books, my wife is Mexican and always speaks Spanish with them and we lived 4 years in the US and most of our family friends are English speakers). My 3 years old faces huge difficulties to separate the languages. The best friend of my kids (4), while his parents are doing much the same than we do, speaks English fluently to his mother and father, understands perfectly Tagalog and German Swiss and some French but refuses to speak in anything but English. &lt;strong&gt;Be patient and determined&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Remember it's possible&lt;/strong&gt;. My sister exclusively spoke English to my nephew until he was two then she switched within a few months to French and everything went fine.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[update] The language abilities of my 5 years old now 8 are confirmed: having been back in France for 3 years he assists his English teachers in primary school, correcting pronunciation and helping with the vocabulary... The former 3 years old picked up French and Spanish ok and remembers a lot of English but still far from matching his big brother in terms of languages, but he is impressive in terms of visual recognition, drawing and maths... &lt;strong&gt;Genetics does matter&lt;/strong&gt;! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13795" LastEditorUserId="13795" LastEditDate="2017-12-20T17:23:52.243" LastActivityDate="2017-12-20T17:23:52.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T21:03:42.553" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I teach Electrical engineering and physics to 5-7 year olds. I just replace the word electron with magic, and energy with &quot;the force&quot;. later, when they want to argue with me, we can discuss it further. I try to not let language be the barrier that stops kids from learning, and being observant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to teach an applied and observed perspective of science, which works out to making fun stuff to play with, if you are a kid. Let them observe, and make mistakes/ find ways to challenge them into changing their mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;There is no such thing as magic&quot; &#xA;coming form the same person who still believes in the Easter bunny, switch witch, tooth fairy, Santa, and monsters under the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;flip a light switch, and say ok, what made that light come on if not magic?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14580" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T21:03:42.553" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-10T21:43:51.283" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Richard Feynman tells this story in &amp;quot;Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman&amp;quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was the kind of thing my father would have talked about: &amp;quot;What makes it go? Everything goes because the sun is shining.&amp;quot; And then we would have fun discussing it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;No, the toy goes because the spring is wound up,&amp;quot; I would say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;How did the spring get wound up?&amp;quot; he would ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;I wound it up.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;And how did you get moving?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;From eating.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;And food grows only because the sun is shining. So it's because the sun is shining that all these things are moving.&amp;quot; That would get the concept across that motion is simply the &lt;em&gt;transformation&lt;/em&gt; of the sun's power.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note carefully that Feynman's father didn't say the word &amp;quot;energy.&amp;quot; Judging by the first chapter of the same book, that was probably on purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14581" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-04-10T21:43:51.283" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-11T00:40:35.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Energy is not a tangible thing, it isn't something you can touch, see, hear, taste or feel, energy is a concept, just like a number is a concept, just like speed is a concept. It's not a real thing like a tree, a bacteria, water, or the Sun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And because energy is a concept, it is misleading and a source of confusion to use language such as &quot;waste energy&quot;, or to say that some object &quot;has energy&quot;, because how can you waste something that is not real, and how can an object possess something that isn't real?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't tell your son that wasting hot water is a waste of energy. Teach him instead what it takes for him to be able to have hot water for his shower. You may have to do some reading up on your part, but then you will both learn something!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him that water is transported to your home through underground pipes, and when it reaches home and your son turns the hot water knob, this water gets heated, usually with gas or with electricity. (If he is interested this could be a good opportunity to explain to him how gas and electricity can heat water: gas is ignited and burns; electricity is a bunch of tiny particles moving inside a material which make the material get hot, and when this material is near water it heats the water).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your water heater runs on natural gas, tell him that gas is extracted from deep beneath the ground, which takes a lot of effort, and that there is not an unlimited supply of gas below the ground: the gas that is burnt cannot be used again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your water heater runs on electricity, tell him that in order to generate electricity (i.e. to get the bunch of tiny particles moving) people usually burn coal or burn gas. Just like gas, coal comes in limited supply (and burning coal isn't nice for the environment: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coal#Environmental_effects&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coal#Environmental_effects&lt;/a&gt;). There are also the radioactive nuclear fuels which come in limited supply as well, but it would be difficult to explain to a 5 yo how those are used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line is it takes a lot of effort from many people to gather natural resources which in the end allow your son to have hot water, these resources are in limited supply, and the more he wastes hot water the more he uses up these limited resources. So by not wasting hot water he thinks about others and not just about himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now if you want to explain to your son the physical concept of energy this isn't straightforward. How would you explain it to a 30 yo?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I think we would be better off without the concept of energy at all. The concept doesn't explain anything, worse than that it hides real explanations and gives people the illusion they understood something while in fact they haven't understood anything at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To give an example, often people say that a ball thrown upwards decelerates on the way up 'because' its kinetic energy is converted into potential energy, and then accelerates on the way down 'because' its potential energy is converted into kinetic energy. But an abstract concept cannot be the cause of anything! This is called the fallacy of reification, the logical fallacy of treating a concept as a real thing, as a cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no real thing inside the ball called kinetic energy that gets converted into another thing called potential energy. The ball decelerates on the way up because it accelerates towards the Earth, and it accelerates on the way down because it keeps accelerating towards the Earth. Then we can wonder why the ball accelerates towards the Earth, but the concept of energy will never answer &quot;why&quot; to anything, it can only serve to describe &quot;how&quot;. Kinetic and potential energies are just numbers that we can use as intermediaries in calculations. In fact we could reformulate the whole of science without the concept of energy and still describe the universe as accurately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To give another example (that the concept of energy is a source of confusion and doesn't explain anything), you didn't know how to explain to your son what the concept of energy is, your son didn't understand what you wanted to tell him, and the concept prevented you from realizing that all you had to tell him is that the Earth has limited resources and wasting hot water is wasting these resources. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if I had to explain what energy is, I would say that it is a dispensable mathematical tool widely used in science and which is a source of much confusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14584" LastEditorUserId="14584" LastEditDate="2015-04-11T00:59:40.093" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T00:59:40.093" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-11T05:08:07.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Late to the game, but I'll add my 2 cents. Maybe a long 2 cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that energy is what does work.  In terms he can understand for the hot water, have him rub his hands together (palm to palm) until they warm up. (You can explain &lt;em&gt;friction&lt;/em&gt; in simple terms, or hold off.) When he rubs his hands together, friction causes his hands to warm up. The energy he uses to do the work of rubbing his hands is converted to &lt;em&gt;heat&lt;/em&gt;. Limp hands/arms use no energy and do no work. Moving hands/arms use energy and do work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can probably understand intuitively the transfer of heat. Ask him to imagine that he had to heat water by rubbing his hands until they got hot, then held his hands to a vessel of water, over and over until the water warmed up enough to bathe in. That represents a lot of &lt;em&gt;work&lt;/em&gt; to heat up water. It shouldn't be wasted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found that clear chandelier bulbs on a dimmer switch were ideal to take the concept of work/friction = heat/ light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At a &lt;em&gt;minimum&lt;/em&gt; setting, one is forcing electricity (no need to explain everything all at once) through a tiny metal wire, and that, like rubbing your hands, causes the wire to heat up (friction). He can actually see the heat as the wire glows a dull, dark orange, and he can feel the heat by feeling the bulb. As you turn the switch up, you force more electricity through the wire, heating it even more, till it glows white-hot, and is too hot to touch. Energy was turned into heat and light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, explain that there are coils in a water heater, and the same principle applies: energy driven through the coils causes heat, which warms the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work is good and important, but wasted work doesn't help anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly, this works (no pun intended) if it is worked into everyday conversation. If you have an electric range, show him how the coils heat up and why (same as the metal filament in a light bulb.) If he feels the sum warm his face, he's feeling the sun's energy as heat. The sun gives off light, just as the wire filament does. As long as he's interested, there are examples everywhere of energy, work, heat, light, movement (cars, trains), and construction (bulldozers, carpenters, cranes, etc. When he gets older, your explanations can become more sophisticated (plants do work - construction - to grow and make food. The energy to do the work comes from the sun.) Electrons move through things and heat them and cause light and do work. We call that energy &quot;electricity&quot; after the electron's work. If the electron doesn't move, like his limp arms, it does no work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The story of &lt;a href=&quot;http://galileoandeinstein.physics.virginia.edu/more_stuff/E&amp;amp;M_Hist.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;electrons&lt;/a&gt; is fun, too. Science is ripe for study all around us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T05:08:07.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19453" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-11T05:57:41.420" Score="0" ViewCount="5990" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an otherwise normal and active 7 year old son who is having trouble going to the bathroom (#2). He is soiling his pants but seems OK with it. He knows it smells bad and he knows it is uncomfortable. He isn't lazy, either. He'd rather hold it in and have an accident than go to the bathroom. He doesn't care if I get upset about it, or if he gets grounded or not. Why is this happening and how can I stop it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14592" LastEditorUserId="7017" LastEditDate="2015-04-11T09:16:38.250" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T17:44:26.833" Title="Why is my 7 year old son still having accidents in his pants?" Tags="|encopresis|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-04-13T21:05:04.113" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19453" CreationDate="2015-04-11T06:24:50.300" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really believe that puishment for this is the wrong way to go, it will only make things worse. Even though it seems like he does not care, he propaply feels ashamed of it. My daughter pretty much had the same problem. She peed in her pants pretty much every day. It seemed like she didn't care, and that she would rather keep on playing than waste the time going to the bathroom. This was really frustrating and sometimes I got mad about it, wich really just made things worse.&#xA;Finally I went to see a doctor, whom told me that this is probably because the body didn't get the right signals. The best way to fix it was to teach the body to read those signals. So we got a &quot;peeing watch&quot; with timer vibrating alarm functionality. It was set to 2.5h at first, and after a few weekts about 3.5h. After three months she was &quot;cured&quot;. She even stopped peeing in her bed when she was sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14593" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T06:24:50.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19456" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24293" CreationDate="2015-04-11T07:26:18.543" Score="2" ViewCount="459" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to ask the question: &quot;what is the age cut-off for female fertility&quot;, but I think that varies a lot between women.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I ask, what can be done to extend the fertility of a woman? Basically, what can be done to slow down the onset of menopause?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14594" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T20:17:20.100" Title="What can be done to extend the fertility of a woman?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-11T13:37:28.487" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the Oxford dictionary there are two relevant definitions: power derived from using physical or chemical resources; or a property of matter and radiation, manifested as a capacity to perform work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second (Physics) definition really (for any understanding) requires you to continue to explain how, for example (and amongst many other things), photons interact with electrons. You'd have to do more research yourself to understand all the known or theorized physical interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first definition is arguably less technical, and if you asked me what to tell a 5 year old, I'd start with this definition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd explain (to start to provide information for your 'waste' discussion) that, to get these physical 'resources', great amounts of human work must be done. Gas, for example, must be found, captured, and delivered in a bottle to your house. Ask how hard they think that would be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And in reality, providing gas -- or any useful 'energy resource' -- at the price we pay requires and required huge amounts of human effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notice that there's plenty of energy that isn't useful to humans: the Sun releases great amounts of radiation with energy and most of it is not used by humans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;'Wasting' energy -- and what that might or might not really mean -- is a different topic that you didn't really ask about, so I won't discuss that here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14598" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T13:37:28.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19453" CreationDate="2015-04-11T17:44:26.833" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is the school nurse at a sixth-grade camp. She sees this quite a bit more than you'd expect with 11 year-old kids. Some of them have never used a public restroom, and can't bring themselves to do so. Since camp is five days, four nights, these kids have the same problem your son has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd ask myself if it happens after several hours away from home, of if he won't use the toilet at home either. Then I'd talk to my pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T17:44:26.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-11T17:58:20.863" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Watch David Attenborrough's nature shows a family staple. We used to gather on the big bed with a computer and watch them together. There are dozens, many on Netflix. My oldest is now studying conservation biology in college. Just coincidence? Maybe . . . .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T17:58:20.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-11T21:00:04.547" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;stored motion&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when you bring a pencil up, and let it go, it starts moving&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when a child eats a chocolate, it uses the chocolate to power its movements&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when you connect a blender to a power outlet, it uses the energy in the wires (whatever that is =P) to move&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when you put gas in car, it burns the gas and moves&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when you burn something, it releases &quot;energy&quot;, and things around it get hot (and heat is a kind of motion)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;storing motion&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when, lying down, a child throws a (small) ball up, they can see it go up, stop, and come back. It is storing motion into height, and then getting motion back from height (try it yourself with a small plastic ball. Lie down and throw it right up)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when you pull a slingshot, you are storing energy. When you release it, the rock gets in motion&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when you compress a spring you are storing energy. Then you release it, and it moves (carefull with eyes =P)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;sunlight heats things. so it has energy. plants use that energy to grow (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZdi4fj-hWc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZdi4fj-hWc&lt;/a&gt;) - and that is motion. But they keep some energy stored. Then a cow comes, eats the grass, and uses it to move around. Then we come and eat the cow... Or maybe the cow dies, and is buried, and turns into petroleum, and then we can use this &quot;cow juice&quot; to power up a car (that is, to &lt;strong&gt;make it move&lt;/strong&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if you are feeling adventurous... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Energy cannot appear from nowhere&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZNpnCd4ZBo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZNpnCd4ZBo&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ball had a height. That was energy. The energy became motion, then the motion was stored back (the ball is on the other side). Then the ball came back: the energy became motion, and then became height. It would never touch the teachers face, because it would never end &lt;strong&gt;higher&lt;/strong&gt; than it started. Higher things have more energy, more &lt;strong&gt;stored motion&lt;/strong&gt;. For the ball to be higher, something else would have to have given it extra energy. That is why the teacher was so sure the ball would not touch his face&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14414" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T21:00:04.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-04-11T23:55:13.233" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me, the Jewish identity is not just about obeying the Torah verbatim. It's mostly about the community and the cultural identity. The community is very tight-knit, of course, which is one of its strengths. It seems clear to me that rote obedience to ancient prescriptions is not what most Jewish people consider fundamental to being Jewish. I went to a Passover dinner recently, and the mother and father of the house joked with me about how they were going to make me read agonizingly long passages next year. They are both Israeli, both read books and newspapers in Hebrew, and both are obviously guided by their Jewish identity. And, they believe evolution is real, that the Earth is billions of years old, and that it's perfectly acceptable to operate a light switch on Saturday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now for the main question. You cannot reconcile science with religion anymore than you can reconcile gasoline with a lit match. They don't mix because they are diametrically opposed. One demands to have its statements believed based solely on the supposed authority of whoever is making the statements. The other &lt;em&gt;refuses&lt;/em&gt; to take anyone at their word, and demands to be shown &lt;em&gt;proof&lt;/em&gt; for why one explanation or story should be believed to the exclusion of all others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's good that you want to raise them to know about science. They probably won't spend their lives in kibbutzim, so it's better if they have access to modern scientific knowledge, rather than being made to fill out coloring books claiming that the Earth is 6,000 years old and that scientists are either lying or mistaken. These points of view are already held as utterly ridiculous by the vast majority of the first world, and will only continue to recede faster and faster as the decades pass. Based on your post, I know that you see it too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have books or DVDs that tell them that God made the Earth in six days, THROW THEM OUT. I wouldn't give them to another family, either. &quot;Educational material&quot; that tells you the Earth is 6,000 years old is not educational. It is incorrect. We can call this a lie, or a conceit, or blind faith; but the evidence for an old Earth is vast, and there is no credible evidence of a young Earth - &lt;strong&gt;at all.&lt;/strong&gt; It's this simple: do you want to teach them stuff that they're going to have to un-learn later? Why not teach them stuff that's actually correct the first time around?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You see, this is much, much bigger than the question of how to integrate science into a Jewish upbringing. The world is full of people who will try to tell them flowery stories in order to earn their trust, and thereby take advantage of them. Don't let this happen. Teach them to think critically, and to consider that people who tell them fanciful things may have hidden motivations, or be under the thumbs of others who do. Teach them that if someone can't rationally explain why they believe something, they aren't in any position to demand that anyone else does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that you want to keep the peace and avoid offending anyone, but sometimes you have to disappoint people in order to secure the best future for your kids. If someone comes to the door to sell you college student's supplies, do you buy them even though your kids won't be there for years, just to keep that guy happy? If they're raised to believe these things, it will have negative consequences for them - not just because they believe things that have been disproven, but also because they will have learned to believe things &quot;just because.&quot; Give them the benefit of critical thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14448" LastActivityDate="2015-04-11T23:55:13.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19463" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-12T02:44:38.957" Score="4" ViewCount="160" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the health risks of being pregnant with twins, and how does it compare to being pregnant with just one child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14594" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-12T18:32:22.610" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:20:09.743" Title="What are the health risks of having twins (or more)?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-12T05:28:47.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Funny enough, I just thought about the same question for myself two days ago. My abstract answer (I am a physicist) was - without consulting books: &quot;energy is the property of a physical system required to invokes the change of state of a physical system. Energy can be tranferred from one physical system to another (invoking change of state) and can be stored for a while but never destroyed&quot;. Sure this would be far to abstract for a 5 year old.&#xA;For a five year old -like my daughter - I'd say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Energy is something inside the things which causes change. And it takes different forms. Examples: if you run you change your location and you and your body. Then you have energy of movement (kinetic energy). Or it can heat things up like a pot of water heated on the stove.&#xA;It can be passed from one thing to another to make things move for instance: if you kick a ball, the energy of movement of your foot is passed from your foot to the ball. In the heating water example energy is transferred from the burning gas (chemical energy) to the pot to the water causing the water molecules - my daughter understands this already - to move quicker and quicker until they are that fast so they are ejected from the water as steam.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interesting - if one starts to think about such thing one notices how difficult it is to explain....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14604" LastActivityDate="2015-04-12T05:28:47.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-12T06:35:35.213" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am glad to see this conversation and particularly to see so many advocate for a child being supported to be whoever and whatever he feels he is. When a child feels accepted, it goes a long way toward developing self-confidence. Self-confident people are better-equipped to handle life's challenges in a smart, aware way, and to use their talents to improve the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I may have missed something, but I see only one reference to transgenderism. So I want to draw a a distinction here in an area where there's not a lot of public acknowledgment. It's important because if your goal is to support your child feeling good about who they are, then here's some information about just how complicated &quot;who they are&quot; really is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gender and sexual orientation are two entirely separate aspects of a person. So whether you identify as a male or female or some alternative option (both, or neither, for example), it in on way determines whom you're attracted to. A third aspect of our nature is masculine/feminine traits, and everybody has their own individual blend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was not until I got to know a large number of transgender people that I became aware that you can be any combination of male and female characteristics and still you might identify as male, or female, regardless. And that's sometimes different from whether your body looks &quot;male&quot; or &quot;female&quot; when you're born. And whether you're gay, straight, bi-sexual, polyamorous, asexual, or something else, is a lot more subtle than how low or high your voice is or what color clothes you like or whether you dance all the time or hold your body pretty rigid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tend to create &quot;false binaries&quot; about people, to pigeon-hole them into being A or B, X or Y, etc. A more accepting and, I think, honest way to view people is to understand that the individual is not a collection of binary choices (black or white, yes or no, etc.) but rather an extraordinarily complex assemblage of all sorts of characteristics, some of them seemingly contradicting each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And so I've come to see people each as a unique blend of a near-infinite number of qualities, not just a bunch of answers on a true-false quiz, and not even as falling somewhere on one or more &quot;spectrums.&quot; We're just too subtle to be reduced to that. What if, for example, the &quot;spectrum&quot; of male/female isn't a spectrum at all, but some sort of loop, or maybe a 3- or 4-dimensional universe of qualities?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this may seem radical or ludicrous, but if you start seeing people in this way, you'll have a much deeper appreciation for human diversity. You'll see that although words and labels are a necessary convenience in our culture, they can also limit our understanding and therefore should not be considered the be-all and end-all in how we understand one another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14608" LastActivityDate="2015-04-12T06:35:35.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-12T12:10:10.410" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have a wind-up flashlight (a flashlight with a hand generator), you can make this very simple.  Have the child turn the crank to give the battery a charge.  Then ask them how they would feel if they had turned the crank for an hour, then they saw someone turn on the flashlight, leave it on, and walk away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both the physics and the English of this answer are sound.  Energy was used to turn the crank.  Letting the flashlight run without using it is clearly a waste of that energy.  Additionally, the child should be able to understand what is wrong with it more easily when it was his energy that got wasted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7526" LastActivityDate="2015-04-12T12:10:10.410" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19470" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-12T14:32:47.367" Score="0" ViewCount="148" Body="&lt;p&gt;my son turned 3 on january 28th. We have started to toilet train for the last 5 days. I dont use the potty and placed him straight onto the toilet. He had a small toilet seat to fit on top but as he is quite capable we dont even need to use this anymore and sit straight onto the toilet. &#xA;I have recently had another child on february 26th, and i have previously tried twice unsuccesfully to toilet train before my second child was born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both times before i gave up as he would completely refuse to use the toilet and i had to literally pick him up and take him and it was turning into a power struggle and even when he sat he would not do anything no matter how long we sat there so i thought he was probably not ready and gave up both times after a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This time however we have been succesful in getting him to the toilet and actually weeing. However, he will not go on his own accord or let me know. I have to take him every 20-30 mimutes and if i get distracted he has an accident on the floor. He knows he has done something wrong because he will freeze in his place and tell me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also because i know he is having alot of accidents i part use pull ups and part try to keep him just in knickers (I use pull ups when i need to cook or i know i will be busy and cant take him every so often, also for naps, going out or to sleep in). I have read alot that pull ups confuse him but i cant afford for him to have an accident all the time when i am busy with something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions of where i might be able to improve the situation and any advice on how to get him to let me know he needs the toilet instead of having to take him myself all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know its early days but its really such a strain i just feel so tense all the time because if i forget or get too busy then we have an accident to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final thing he has been holding in his bowel movements, and im worried he is going to cause himself some harm with constipation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14613" LastActivityDate="2015-04-12T14:32:47.367" Title="How to get a toddler to let you know when he needs to go to the toilet" Tags="|toddler|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-04-12T20:13:01.310" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7911" CreationDate="2015-04-12T17:46:36.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Praise one child for his good behaviour and ignore the other. I think he will soon realise that showing positive behaviour is the only way to achieve some attention. I have the same situation with my daughter. Its difficult as she is an only child and that makes it difficult as her behaviour is always under the microscope. One thing I have learnt is, it's all about repetition. As parents we constantly need to repeat what is acceptable and what is not. Just know that you are a good parent and one can only try their best. Best of luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14614" LastActivityDate="2015-04-12T17:46:36.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19472" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-12T18:51:21.337" Score="2" ViewCount="340" Body="&lt;p&gt;2 mo old baby - sleeps very well at night, 6 -7 hours with 1 feeding, then immediately slumps over again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does this thing in the morning around 6,7am, where he is all squirming all over, his face all scrunched up, and pivot around his torso, with his arms and legs flailing every which way and is half crying, and half whining. His eyes remain closed the entire time. He does this for an hour-ish. He doesn't really wake up before then even if I shake him a little, or pinch him a little. Once he is truly awake, and his eye open, the squirming stops. He's just normal and all sparkly eyed and smiley. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is going on there? Does anyone else have the morning struggle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14615" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T13:03:15.017" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T15:18:53.123" Title="what is going on with the 2 mo old morning struggle?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19473" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-12T19:03:45.200" Score="0" ViewCount="1134" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 year old son cries and throws a fit when his dad leaves without him. It's not just when he leaves for work; it's everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He sometimes questions his dad as to how long he will be gone, and who he will be seeing, etc. It's almost as if he has to give him permission. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14616" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-12T19:40:25.640" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T05:07:03.227" Title="Is it normal for a 9 year old to cry and throw a fit when his daddy leaves?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|tantrums|separation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19474" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-12T19:19:16.220" Score="-2" ViewCount="3322" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the father of a 16 year old son. I grounded him for 1 month because he got detention every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's not allowed to get out of his room except for food and using the bathroom: no tv, no electronics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also he has an early bedtime (8 pm) every night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is fair, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14617" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-12T19:36:21.623" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T15:05:08.017" Title="I grounded my 16 year old son for 1 month because he got detention every day. Is this a fair punishment?" Tags="|behavior|teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2015-04-13T16:19:51.863" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-04-12T19:46:33.467" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When he wakes up in the morning, he has a LOT OF ENERGY! &#xA;He wants to run around and play! He can do this all day!&#xA;But slowly, he gets tired the more he runs.&#xA;At the end of the day, he'll notice he wants to sleep. He has used up most of his energy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people work very hard to make energy for heating up the water, so don't waste it！&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14618" LastActivityDate="2015-04-12T19:46:33.467" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-04-13T00:04:32.970" Score="-7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to present an alternative view of this situation that will likely get me downvoted to the very bottom of the page, but I think it's important that you give me a chance since I have more personal experience than any of the other answerers. (I discovered I was attracted to pre-teen children when I was about 15 too. I am now 25 and still attracted to pre-teen boys and girls, as well as attracted to people my own age. I'm perfectly happy with my sexuality, though not at all happy about how others think of it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's common for people to realize during their teens that they are attracted to children (section III, Chart 8 &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ipce.info/booksreborn/bernard/factual.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.ipce.info/booksreborn/bernard/factual.htm&lt;/a&gt; ), and ages 8-11 are significantly young compared to 15, so I would be surprised if this is just a &quot;phase&quot; that he'll grow out of as others have suggested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming it's not a phase, here are six important things your son should know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;An attraction to children isn't morally wrong.&lt;/strong&gt; And, just like homosexuality, it shouldn't be a big deal or a worry. The only reason it is a big deal is that an unfortunate majority of people believe that it is (as evidenced by your son being upset, you asking for advice, and by the other answers on this site saying he should seek therapy immediately).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Fantasizing about sex with children is morally acceptable&lt;/strong&gt; (it doesn't hurt anyone) and is legal in the US, but anything beyond that is either highly illegal, or at least in a legal gray area (like with drawings of sexual acts, for example). Some people might say that allowing these sexual fantasies will &quot;fuel&quot; a person to do illegal things, but there's no proof of that, and the opposite could be true too: fantasies could channel sexual feelings away from &quot;real life&quot;, so that one is less inclined to do something illegal. Stay away from actual child porn though. It's not worth going to jail over.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;And here's where you'll disagree if you haven't already: &lt;strong&gt;Children are sexual, and sexual encounters with adults (or with teens) aren't inherently abusive or harmful to children&lt;/strong&gt; (just very illegal in the US and most other places, so don't do it). They can even be positive. I say this not to advocate breaking the law, but because he should know that his sexual orientation is something good, not something that needs to be mitigated or feared. Your son shouldn't believe there's something &quot;evil&quot; inside him when there isn't, like he's a time bomb that might one day &quot;explode&quot; and end up accidentally abusing a child. If your son doesn't want to hurt people then he won't hurt people; whether or not he's attracted to children has exactly nothing to do with that. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I won't present an argument here for why acting on pedophilic desires isn't necessarily morally wrong (within the right culture). It's something you just have to figure out for yourself. But if you or your son happen to be willing to entertain that idea, there's a lot of information about it out there. Here's some helpful reading addressing child sexuality, adult-child sex, and issues of consent: [Well, I'm not allowed to post any more links... I'll try to post them in the comments]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;4&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pedophilia isn't always exclusive&lt;/strong&gt;; some pedophiles can be attracted to people their own age too. I don't have have accurate statistics about the rates of exclusive and non-exclusive pedophiles, but I have met both exclusive and non-exclusive ones, and most are non-exclusive at least to some degree.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;He's not alone.&lt;/strong&gt; There are all kinds of people who are attracted to children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pedophiles who are happy with their orientation, are morally opposed to abusing children, and don't see consensual adult-child sexual encounters as abusive. Many of them prefer to be called boylovers/girllovers/childlovers to avoid the negative stigma surrounding the word &quot;pedophile&quot;. They might view their attraction as something beyond just sexual, and their relationships with kids as beneficial friendships (whether sexual or nonsexual).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Self-hating pedophiles who want to do the right thing, but for the wrong reasons (e.g. the &quot;Virtuous Pedophiles&quot; group mentioned in other answers). They abstain from sex because they believe there is something inherently wrong inside of themselves. I went through this phase between the ages of 15 and 20 and found that it didn't really make sense, and I'm happier and more honest with myself now that I outgrew it. It was just a way to fit into society without denying my attractions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And then there are a small number of people who truly sexually abuse children using force or coercion, though many of them aren't even technically pedophiles, just opportunistic abusers who happen upon children. Not all pedophiles have sex with children, not all sex with children is abuse, and not all sexual-abusers-of-children are pedophiles.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of pedophiles I've talked to are happy with their orientation, and unhappy with laws and cultural stigma against it; they are morally good people, would never want to hurt a child, and don't consider willing sexual encounters inherently harmful. I've talked to a fair amount of the self-hating type too. I've never met a single person who actually rapes kids though, and I hope I never will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;6&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't tell your parents you're a pedophile!&lt;/strong&gt; Oh, wait, it's a little late for that. Still, it's worth saying that most parents probably think pedophilia is unhealthy and will try to prevent their child from becoming a pedophile, which I think could be very damaging in the same way trying to &quot;cure&quot; homosexuality is damaging. So this is something best kept secret from your parents at this point in history unless you have the right kind of parents. I'm glad I didn't tell my parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know of any good, structured places a 15-year-old could go to get support from other pedophiles, unfortunately. There's plenty of support for gay teens or depressed teens I'm sure, but at this time people aren't so open to the idea of pedophile teens. They're on their own unless they get lucky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About therapy: maybe it's a good idea and maybe it isn't, but just being attracted to children is not sufficient criteria to seek therapy. I'm not an expert on therapy, but I would think he would need to have some additional issues (like depression or something) to justify therapy. And you don't need to be depressed just because you're attracted to kids. Either way, here's a fairly neutral website dedicated to finding good therapists for &quot;minor-attracted people&quot;: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.b4uact.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.b4uact.org/&lt;/a&gt; I think their name (&quot;before you act&quot;) unintentionally gives kind of a self-hating vibe, but that's not what they're about as far as I can tell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14621" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T00:04:32.970" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-13T01:38:33.880" Score="60" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing whatsoever wrong with your son, but there is something very very wrong with his father. The best thing you can do is try to limit your sons exposure to this person. If he has these sorts of attitudes you should be able to argue that he is a danger to your sons emotional well-being and potentially have his level of access limited to only supervised visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T01:38:33.880" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19481" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-13T08:42:47.190" Score="2" ViewCount="638" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is a teenager. He doesn't have any problems. I'm trying to teach him how to deal with life in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to teach your teenager to handle situations in which bad people make fun of him or humiliate him, while he has to remain patient and polite? And when should your kid answer more aggressively than the others, so that they don't bother him again or so he can escape from that situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14599" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-14T12:36:25.297" LastActivityDate="2018-08-11T15:23:02.273" Title="How to teach a teenager to stay patient and polite towards abusive people and when to become more aggressive?" Tags="|teen|social-development|teaching|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19482" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19483" CreationDate="2015-04-13T10:53:39.387" Score="47" ViewCount="39060" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year-old daughter keeps saying to her mom that she doesn't like/love her, and refuses to retract the comment or say sorry. Is this &quot;normal&quot;? A &quot;phase&quot;? It's pretty hard for mom to take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For context, mom is a stay at home mom, and I work. My daughter seems &quot;normal&quot; enough, but perhaps a little non-social (not anti-social; just doesn't actively seek out the company of others her age). I (father) have a close relationship with my daughter, and she spontaneously says she loves me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a younger sister 2.5 year-old on the scene, and she is very attached to mom. My enquiries to my daughter as to why she is feeling this way seem to point toward her being jealous of the attention mom gives the little one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have others encountered this behaviour? Should we be seeing a shrink? My suggested &quot;solution&quot; is for mom to spend some special one-on-one time with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any feedback/ideas/experience welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6899" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-16T08:40:38.797" LastActivityDate="2016-12-19T21:16:31.270" Title="My 4 year-old says she doesn't love her mom" Tags="|pre-schooler|siblings|relationships|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19483" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19482" CreationDate="2015-04-13T11:10:03.397" Score="68" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your instincts of jealousy are spot-on.  My daughter did this starting when her little brother arrived home from the hospital, and every time she felt like he was getting more of Mama's attention, out came the verbal knives.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our fix was to schedule special one-on-one time with her when we could.  And when things were just too crazy to carve very much one-on-one time out, we included her in taking care of her little brother; when she felt more included (get his diapers, read a book to him, help one of us with a household chore) she was much happier and reverted less to the &quot;I don't love you, Mama&quot; pronouncements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, I'm not a pediatrician or a psychologist, but our experience with a jealous elder child tracked closely to yours.  And the solution you are considering worked for us.  Give Mom an extra hug from this internet stranger; I remember how much it stung when my eldest would lash out with &quot;I don't love you!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA:  @DavidBoshton reminded me: when my daughter would lash out (and I was past the postpartem nightmare of hormones), I would reply, &quot;That's okay.  I love you even if you don't love me.  I will never stop loving you.&quot;  This also helps when she throws a tantrum even today (girlfriend gets hangry like no one's business).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="13897" LastEditDate="2015-04-17T18:50:55.930" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T18:50:55.930" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19482" CreationDate="2015-04-13T11:20:35.723" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of things going on here, and both will probably be due to attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said that mum finds it difficult. That means that she probably reacts slightly. This means that your daughter knows that she can say something that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gets noticed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gets a reaction.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brings attention. All attention, positive or negative is attention to a child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter does feel lonely or unloved, which may be likely if she's been number one for the past few years, then positive attention is what she needs. The &quot;I hate you&quot; comments need to be fielded with &quot;Ok, do you know why?&quot; and if the conversation stops there, then a bit afterwards your wife needs to initiate conversation. The more your wife initiates conversation with your daughter, even to say small talk, the more your daughter will value it. One-on-one time is essential as well, but a more general acknowledgement is very healthy; the key point being that it can't be in reaction to her saying the stuff she is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically change it so your daughter gets the same amount of attention whether she says such things (which aren't true otherwise she'd actually be walking around in fear -- imagine hating someone who was twice your height who lived in your house!) or not. So be reassured; she doesn't mean it. She just loves you both, but has found a way to get mum to acknowledge her every time; by hurting her emotionally. To help the reaction, when she says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I hate you&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually you need to hear and respond as if she has said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I love you and I miss you&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That will change things. Again, to iterate, that can't be the trigger for her getting attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="9121" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T16:01:09.987" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T16:01:09.987" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19485" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19488" CreationDate="2015-04-13T13:06:09.410" Score="16" ViewCount="3053" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my children love science, and my wife and I have encouraged this in our children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, at a recent school activity fair the representative for a science oriented group (robotics if I remember correctly) spoke to and gave an activity to my son but not my daughter, though my daughter was in the target age range for the group and my son was not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We &quot;compensated&quot; for the &quot;gimme&quot; they gave my son by getting my daughter a similar experiment kit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't directly address the representative at the booth, but later emailed the group leader about this. Should we have said something on the spot? What else have people done to overcome anti-STEM bias?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14631" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T13:49:40.877" Title="Preventing anti-STEM bias especially with girls" Tags="|activities|girls|science|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-13T13:42:26.263" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two short anecdotes for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother loved to play with our sister's Barbie, My Little Pony and Silvanian Family toys when he was little. He isn't gay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My neighbour has a 3-year-old boy who likes to wear a Cinderella dress and pink wellington boots everywhere. Do his parents care? Not really. They obviously bought those things for him because that's what he saw at the shop and wanted. I get the impression he just likes them and doesn't distinguish between &quot;these toys are for girls and these are for boys&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, little kids just like what they like and aren't even properly aware of their sexuality yet (or certainly don't have the understanding of it to make an informed declaration that they are sexually attracted to the same sex). Maybe your son is gay, maybe he's not. Him playing with girls' toys sometimes doesn't make him gay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only problem here is the father's attitude of homophobia and intolerance. Saying that he would disown his son if he was gay is shocking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14634" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T13:42:26.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4844" CreationDate="2015-04-13T14:18:50.110" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;(a) Looking away when someone is scolding you is normal, for both children and adults. When someone is saying something that is embarrassing to us, we tend to look at the floor, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(b) Personally, I think it is unnecessarily cruel to force a child to assist in his own punishment, and teaches subservience rather than good morals and ethics. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the old-fashioned &quot;bring me my belt!&quot; to the modern &quot;stand on the corner holding this sign that says 'I am a liar'&quot;, I think this adds an unnecessary dimension to a punishment. Demanding that someone help you punish him just seems cruel to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if the child refuses to help punish himself? Is there another punishment for failing to help in the punishment? What if he doesn't help with that? You can create a cycle of punishment where the punishment is for something far removed from the original offense. Like in this case, if you say, &quot;Look at me while I scold you!&quot; What if he doesn't? Then what? Will you have some additional punishment for failing to look at you? What if he doesn't look at you while you scold him for not looking at you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This puts the child in control instead of you. He can turn a confrontation into a contest of wills. If you require his co-operation to punish him, then if he refuses to co-operate, he thwarts the punishment. Meanwhile you become more and more frustrated because your efforts at punishment are not effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps more philosophically, it shifts the issue from the actual offense to obedience to authority. When my children were growing up, I wanted to teach them that, for example, stealing and unprovoked assault are wrong, not that disobeying authority is wrong. There's a fine line there, I guess, as all rules imply some authority, but I didn't want to be teaching my children, &quot;You must do this because I say so&quot; but &quot;You must do this because it is right.&quot; Demanding a child assist in his own punishment just seems to me to be saying, &quot;You must meekly obey all orders&quot; rather than &quot;You must learn what is right.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my kids were growing up, I never demanded that they help or co-operate in any punishment. I didn't tell them, &quot;You are not allowed to play with that toy&quot;. I took the toy and put it someplace where they couldn't get it. On the rare occasions where I spanked a child, I didn't demand they come to me. I chased them if necessary. Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T14:18:50.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19485" CreationDate="2015-04-13T14:26:18.057" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, good on you guys for recognizing this and addressing it both with your daughter and the group that held the event.  It's not always easy to speak up in a group setting when this happens RIGHT THEN; although I'm a pretty much &quot;in the brain, out the mouth&quot; kind of person, I fully advocate taking the time to make the CORRECT response, not just any response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, now that you've run across it in the wild, use this opportunity to both decide how you would like to respond next time, as well as role-play a response or three with your kids.  (I mention both because I fully support getting your son involved in this too; my son certainly loves the opportunity to stick up for his sister.)  How would THEY respond in the future?  How would they like you to respond?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, we work on anti-STEM bias one person at a time.  My daughter (nearly 7) has a t-shirt from the Pi day phenomenon that uses math equations to make a pi joke.  She wears that, and will happily explain what each symbol means to anyone who takes an interest in the shirt.  Just hearing a first grader talking about imaginary numbers and exponents will shut down a lot of the doubters.  She also is fluent in all things geek (well, that are appropriate), and we discuss all sorts of science-y things in our day-to-day existence.  (Night before last it was time travel, chaos theory, and the multiverse; this theory was started when we were talking about characters in Dr. Who that are quantum-locked.)  Since this is a lot of the talk around our house, it becomes a lot of the talk when we are out, and she becomes a sort of geek ambassador for people in the vicinity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T14:26:18.057" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19489" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-13T14:35:20.323" Score="5" ViewCount="856" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has severe reflux; so much that we give her cereal in her bottle at feedings to thicken it.  The thickened formula needs a slightly larger nipple opening.  Nothing new there I'm sure for many people here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her twin brother still uses plain formula, and hasn't graduated to the thicker formula, therefore still the thinner nipple hole.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're currently differentiated visually by a small letter, which is hard to read from clear silicone.  We had an experiment with nail polish on one; that didn't survive a test wash in the dishwasher.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anyway to mark silicone nipples in a non-leeching non-toxic way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-04-13T18:59:14.013" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T04:58:32.417" Title="Marking silicone nipples" Tags="|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10896" CreationDate="2015-04-13T14:46:47.123" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;For completeness, our baby was scheduled for a Continuous feed &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasogastric_intubation&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;NGT tube&lt;/a&gt;, the tube from her nose to her stomach.  Then was to be a slow drip feed, the equivalent of her normal feeding oz/per bottle feed now oz/hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantage to this, for her, was no big bump of food at any given time, so no chance of a big dose of reflux.  The bad news, you have a tube down her nose. Uncomfortable, needs to be maintained if she pulls it out, and also the whole mechanism of feeding sucking and holding the bottle is part of her motor skills development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generalizing a bit, I think the convenience of any automatic feed system needs to be weighed by the bonding and observation parent/child as they feed.  That and motor skill development as they hold the bottle and learn to deal with meals, since that's what they need to do as toddlers, adolescents, and adults.  Unless you think you'll do a liquid drip feed diet with your teenagers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T14:46:47.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19474" CreationDate="2015-04-13T15:05:08.017" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I agree that you are giving very few details, from my point of view, there is a clear cut answer. No, it's not fair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Detention is a punishment in itself, given by the school. Ergo, &lt;strong&gt;you are punishing him for being punished, and that's absolutely not fair&lt;/strong&gt; in my book. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child has trouble at school, then you should try to help him overcome this trouble in the first place. Punishment is one of the approaches used for this. So, if there is an indication that by punishing him, you will solve his problem, then grounding might in theory be the correct way to go about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although I know almost nothing about the situation, I'd say it's more likely that punishment won't work. Why? Because the school already did it, by putting him in detention. And whatever the original problem was, it did not go away by punishment. So, the likeliest answer here is that punishment is not the solution, and adding more punishment will not help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But even if you think that there is a chance that the punishment will somehow help him (a view which I don't share), then you should be grounding him for the original problem. Grounding him for getting a detention is simply cruel and makes no sense at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6775" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T15:05:08.017" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19482" CreationDate="2015-04-13T16:13:51.680" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the previous answers, which are good, it's also important to understand that small children live in a different world than adults (one full of mysteries) and that many words have different meaning to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you think of your daughter's love for her mother you probably think of the kind of relation that would leave a huge sore wound if her mother suddenly disappeared. Your daughter probably doesn't mean that at all. The odds are that this relation is intact, your daughter takes it for granted, and she can't even imagine a world without her mother (or without her father).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's hard to tell with certainty what your daughter means, I think there is a good chance she is applying a model of interpersonal relations that was shaped to a large extent by relations with other children. She likes children who do what she tells them, and she doesn't like children who do things she doesn't like, such as hitting her or not giving her the toys she wants. In this logic, it's quite normal for children to 'like' or 'love' their grandparents better than their parents. Grandparents typically get all the positive interactions involved in parenting, whereas parents are involved in the daily grind. And for similar reasons a typical modern father who sometimes (albeit perhaps too rarely) spends quality time with a child but rarely has to forbid something is often 'liked' or 'loved' better than a typical housewife mother, who tends to be associated with having to clean up the room and not being allowed to eat chocolate before dinner. Or even, as in your case, with spending more time on a younger sibling. Children don't 'like' such mothers any more than they like playmates who prefer playing with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13408" LastEditorDisplayName="user13408" LastEditDate="2015-04-14T05:41:15.537" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T05:41:15.537" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19494" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19489" CreationDate="2015-04-13T16:34:14.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should be able to score a few notches in a non-critical part of the nipple (not entirely through - just lightly score the top) with a razor blade or similar.  Three in a row about 5mm apart or less should be fairly easy to identify by feel, especially if you do it twice on 180° opposite sides.  Do that for one size and not the other, and presto, easily identifiable nipples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(We also had two sizes of nipples - not for this reason, but because the daycare complained that the nipples we preferred were too slow for the main feeding, so we provided a larger size for them to use if he was rejecting the slower one; thus S and M nipples mixed together.  I got used to identifying them by sight, but I considered a solution like this until I realized I didn't need to.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T16:34:14.887" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19482" CreationDate="2015-04-13T17:00:29.910" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also have a four-year-old daughter, and she is very socially adept.  She uses different techniques to get things she wants from different people, and she can be very dramatic for effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is at all like mine, she probably just enjoys the impact that her words are having on her mother, especially if her mom responds by trying extra hard to &quot;win&quot; her love.  Whatever this statement really means, your daughter's mother should be reassured that it doesn't mean she is doing anything wrong, or that her daughter actually doesn't love her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, my children once spontaneously rated the grownups in their life, calling their out-of-state grandma the &quot;nicest&quot; and their mother the least &quot;nice.&quot;  We quickly realized that they perceived the grown-ups they saw the least often (and thus the ones that least often had to provide any discipline) as the &quot;nicest.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T17:00:29.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19496" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-13T17:46:03.153" Score="0" ViewCount="1025" Body="&lt;p&gt;My granddaughter is forced to stop crying any time she cries by her step dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is that healthy? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She just turned 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14640" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-04-14T13:41:22.523" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:28:27.300" Title="Should a 4 year old be made to quit crying every time she cries?" Tags="|pre-schooler|crying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19497" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-13T18:34:25.697" Score="6" ViewCount="321" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five year-old daughter likes to keep her abilities to herself.  She pretty much taught herself to read about a year ago, but didn't let us know.  If you asked her what something said, she would shrug, but if you gave her instructions that required reading silently, like &quot;Click on 'check out'&quot; at the library kiosk, she could do it easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the cat's out of the bag, but she's still reluctant to read aloud to her full ability.  She will fluently read a word like &quot;beautiful,&quot; then pretend to stumble over &quot;the.&quot;  As a result, we have no idea what her true reading level is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas what could be causing this?  It's not a lack of confidence, as it's very intentional.  It's not stage fright, because this is one on one in her own home and she's treating it like a game.  It's not lack of praise.  In fact, praise actually shuts her down harder.  It's almost as if how well she reads is her own private business that she simply doesn't care to share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas how to persuade her to show us her best?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T13:48:38.780" Title="Coaxing a child to perform her best" Tags="|education|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19485" CreationDate="2015-04-13T20:32:04.713" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Diffuse these situations without adding to a perceived disparity. A simple comment to the tune of &quot;oh, my daughter is at the right age, not my son&quot; would probably have been the best bet. Treat these situations as simple oversights, don't teach your daughter that she will be prejudice against or that she will need to be catered to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have encountered something that will eventually fade into the background. The person at the booth made some kind of mistake, either in determining which of your children was more interested, at the correct age, whomever was more vocal, enrollment demographics, etc. It's also possible that the booth operator was prejudice against your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she is in highschool she will be bombarded with STEM organizations and fields of study fighting to win her. If you son gets the same test scores and applies to the same programs she will still be offered many more scholarships as your son. This is because the STEM fields are lacking, and therefore are demanding more women.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's not be ignorant of this, women are pandered to by the STEM fields, this may or may not be taken as demeaning in itself to a young woman looking to see where she should find herself in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your son, there will be absolutely zero incentive other than his own interest in the field to pursue a STEM course of study. Your daughter will be given scholarship incentives. There will be special allowances that will give her an advantage. She doesn't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; this advantage, but society has decided that she &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't a prejudice or bias on my part, it's speaking from experience.&#xA;Do a scholarship search: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.google.com/search?q=scholarship+search+women+in+engineering&quot;&gt;http://www.google.com/search?q=scholarship+search+women+in+engineering&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same prejudice that possibly directed the booth operator to give your son the experiment kit instead of your daughter will cause the world to cheer for her instead of your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice to you is to ensure her that she &lt;em&gt;is not&lt;/em&gt; the underdog. That she does not need special treatment. If a boy is preferred over her for whatever reason that does not mean that a boy will always be preferred over her, and she can succeed. Next time she visits a similar booth she can dazzle the operator, she can outscore on the tests, she can figure out complex problems. She doesn't need pandering, when your son gets recognition he deserves or does not deserve instead of her that does not devalue her. She does not need special gear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life will not always be fair, but she will succeed anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's all wrong of course, but she will eventually benefit from this prejudice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14007" LastEditorUserId="14007" LastEditDate="2015-04-13T20:37:53.153" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T20:37:53.153" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19497" CreationDate="2015-04-13T20:45:30.470" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife actually sent me this link on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids1/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;raising smart kids&lt;/a&gt;. I think the principles here translate very well into your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The focus of the article is on training yourself not to tell your kids they're smart. Instead, it focuses on teaching them a method to figure out how to accomplish things and seek greater challenges. Things like this for praise:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“Wow … that's a really good score. You must be smart at this.” We commended others for their process: “Wow … that's a really good score. You must have worked really hard.”&#xA;I read this article daily to remind myself how to be a better parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the same answer I gave to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18775/how-to-cultivate-perseverance-without-being-overbearing/18797#18797&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; question. I do think the same principles apply here even though this question is not a duplicate :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T21:08:01.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19497" CreationDate="2015-04-13T20:56:19.247" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Step 1: Give her any book to read on her own and then ask her basic questions on it like &quot;What are the names of the characters?&quot; and &quot;What is the book about?&quot; This will help her to feel more confident in her reading ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 2: Keep repeating step 1 using different books until you think she is more confident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 3: Try asking her how to spell simple, short words like &quot;to&quot;, &quot;it&quot;, &quot;so&quot;, &quot;the&quot;,&quot;ten&quot;, etc. If she is able to spell those out loud then she might be able to spell in front of people. You could also try to get her to spell her name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 4: Now move onto reading short sentences like &quot;How are you?&quot;, &quot;What time is it?&quot;. If she is able to do this then she will become more confident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are somethings that you shouldn't do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cheering or clapping might put her off and make her feel awkward. Try saying &quot;very good&quot; instead.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't put her on the spot.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't move onto harder words until you are 100% sure that she will be confident spelling them. If she isn't confident spelling long words her confidence could drop but you will just need to repeat step 1 if this happens.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another reason why she isn't confident might be that she is afraid of being incorrect. This can be cured by using the steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13980" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T20:56:19.247" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19485" CreationDate="2015-04-13T21:07:23.883" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  It's not useful to attribute something to gender bias that might have easily been something else.  My overwhelming experience is that people in this area bend over backwards to make girls feel welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if it was bias, in this day and age, it's almost certainly unintentional.  I don't mean to stereotype, but people in STEM fields aren't exactly renowned for our superb social skills.  Most likely, they simply misinterpreted your daughter's behavior as disinterest, especially at a family event where some kids just get dragged along for the ride.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read a few studies to that effect, but can't find them at the moment, where teachers favor boys unintentionally because they tend to seek attention more aggressively.  Even teachers who think they don't are surprised (and often horrified) when confronted with video evidence.  It takes conscious effort to overcome, and someone manning a booth at a science fair is unlikely to have received any training in that area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, this has always been relatively easy to handle for me, because my son is an extrovert and his little sister is an introvert.  We've often had to actively keep him from hogging all the attention, and give her a nudge to join in, although he is usually very good about encouraging her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming a nudge isn't enough, we just say, &quot;Okay, Michael, say thank you.  It's Kayla's turn to talk now.  Kayla, why don't you tell him about the robot we made together?&quot;  In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if the representative thought &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; were biased by not intervening like this on your daughter's behalf.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line is, things aren't always what they appear.  You don't have to make a big deal out of things in order for your daughter to feel included.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T21:07:23.883" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-04-13T22:04:16.077" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in the exact same situation as your son at his age.  I never molested anyone, and I now have a happy and healthy marriage to an adult woman.  Here is my advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can't change what you find erotic, but you have choice on how to respond.  A molestor isn't necessarily someone who is attracted to children, but someone willing to exploit children.  You can commit to not being a molestor no matter what your attractions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He should avoid friendships with younger boys and never be alone or in a position of responsibility with younger children.  I didn't follow this advice and it placed me in some dangerous situations that thankfully didn't lead to anything over the line.  I now know it wasn't smart.  In addition to being a risky situation for the younger child, it also opens your son to the possibility of false accusations.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As a person of faith, I credit maintaining a strong relationship with God with bringing me through.  If you are religious, it is important to let your son know God loves him despite his attractions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The internet is a very dangerous place for your son.  There are communities of molestors looking to normalize molestation, and they may try to draw your son in or even groom him as a victim.  Also, if he is caught with illegal images, it could ruin his life forever.  Monitor his internet usage to the best of your ability and impress on him the dangers.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let him know, things may not always be this way.  For me, although I still have a strong erotic attraction to guys much younger than me, I am now old enough that that means men in their early twenties, not children.  In ten years, he may be attracted to people who are now 18+.  Personally, I also learned that I could have an erotically satisfying relationship with a woman who is an adult, but younger than I am, with some tomboyish traits. In addition, after some homosexual experimentation, I learned that for me, sex with a younger guy is a great fantasy, but not a great reality.  These same things may not be true for him, but it is possible, and it is way too soon to know for sure.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things will not be easy for him --he will have to be strict with himself, and you will need to trust, but monitor.  However it is a great sign that he can share this with you.  Help him to know he is not intrinsically a bad person and that he can live a good and moral life --perhaps even a sexually fulfilled one --even if his attractions never change.  He should also know he is not alone.  People who have successfully fought attraction to children rarely go public, for obvious reasons, but this thread makes it clear that they do exist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14647" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T22:04:16.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19497" CreationDate="2015-04-13T22:43:38.870" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before you can figure out what to do about it, you need to understand the root cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she's shy about receiving praise. I'm a 56 year old man so obviously not the same situation, but I get uncomfortable when people compliment me. I just really don't like praise. Especially if it's drawn out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she feels like she's being asked to perform and she's afraid of disappointing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she doesn't like reading and wants to only do it when necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd try simply asking her why she doesn't want to read in front of you. She may give an honest answer. BTW, don't dismiss an answer because it's not the way you think. I mean like, if a child says &quot;I don't like to read out loud because I don't like people watching me&quot;, don't say, &quot;That's ridiculous! Everyone loves to be the center of attention!&quot; Maybe she isn't like you. (Just a hypothetical example, of course.) If she can't or won't explain, see if you can narrow down the circumstances and get some clues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may just be a whim that she can't explain. You probably do lots of things that you can't explain. Why do you not like to wear brown shoes or eat broccoli or exercise or fill-in-the-blank? You'd probably have a hard time giving a reason. You just don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of all, don't go into a panic and think it's time to call in psychiatrists or begin beatings or whatever! Is this a serious impediment to her learning and development? Probably not. While you don't want to be complacent about problems, you also don't want to panic and go to extremes over nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T22:43:38.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19485" CreationDate="2015-04-13T23:01:37.357" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, I wouldn't get over-excited about it. My oldest daughter is a software developer, and I am proud of her accomplishments. I certainly am not biased against women entering STEM fields.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when you start looking for bias, it's very easy to find it. This is a very unproductive game. I wasn't there at the incident you mention, so I can't judge based on your short description. Yes, maybe it was sex discrimination. Or maybe your son acted interested and your daughter didn't. Maybe he made an incorrect guess about the children's ages. Maybe he just happened to be looking in your son's direction and not your daughter's. Etc. Realistically, maybe in the past he's seen that boys tend to be much more interested in robotics than girls, and if you want to call that &quot;sex discrimination&quot;, fine, but at some point I think it's reasonable to target people who statistically are more likely to respond: You see more ads for sports equipment in sports magazines than in science magazines, not because makers of sporting goods hate nerds, but because they've long since figured out where they get the best response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the appropriate thing to do in a situation like that would be to say to the person, &quot;Hey, can my daughter have one of those too?&quot; If he says, &quot;No, girls aren't smart enough to understand robotics&quot;, then yes, he's a sexist jerk. I'm guessing that he would not say anything of the sort, and probably wasn't thinking it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-04-13T23:01:37.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-04-14T02:21:08.037" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes us parents fear for the worst, but hope for the best.  Your question started by using the word &quot;pedophilia&quot; and that defined the course of the conversation.  But let us take a deeper look...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As anyone well versed in sex will tell you, physicality is one of the components.  The mind, though, is the primary component.  This holds true in positive and negative sexual encounters. &lt;strong&gt;Everyone&lt;/strong&gt; wants &lt;strong&gt;something&lt;/strong&gt;. A predator intuitively knows this, but as importantly it is true &lt;em&gt;about predators&lt;/em&gt; too! To know what someone wants requires an exploration:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did he &lt;strong&gt;emphasize&lt;/strong&gt; the young age? As if though &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; factor is what excited him?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did he &lt;strong&gt;mention&lt;/strong&gt; the young age? As if though &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; concerned him?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a person finds themselves attracted to someone only to learn that &lt;em&gt;by their own standards that attraction is inappropriate&lt;/em&gt; and they subsequently reject it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that the attraction existed for a moment and when the truth was known, rejected is an important consideration.  Think of the adult man/woman who says, &quot;wow, that person is so hot!&quot; And when told &quot;that person&quot; is 15, replies, &quot;Wow, they look older!&quot; and turns to other activities without another thought.  A right-minded individual would not proclaim, &quot;Pedophile! Call the police!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lines can be fuzzy from a legal perspective, too.  In some jurisdictions 18 or less is a fine line while in others it is expressed as a difference in age... neither of which addresses the fundamental point: a difference in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To a certain degree, sexual behavior is an expression of power (and, hopefully, more an expression of love!) If one enjoys being dominant and loving, who would complain?  If, on the otherhand, one enjoys controlling those who s/he finds inferior and obedient... one who can be conquered and manipulated according to his/her whims of the moment... and is only tangentially concerned with the welfare of the other person, well, then who would &lt;em&gt;not complain&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was 14, I convinced myself that because I did not hurt them, that what I did with my stepbrothers was not bad.  When I was 15 they sent me to a group home for treatment with 3 therapists.  When I was 17, I learned the lesson I was most missing... not from them as I continued my behavior until I realized this one point which I pledged my life upon:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I will never again use my mind to deprive another human being of the freedom to use their mind.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From that very moment, I have adhered to that as a &quot;prime principle&quot; guiding my behavior -- even in the non-sexual realm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today I am a parent. Today I am a gay man. My course has been frought with challenges which have bettered me as a man.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can we understand the mind of our children? I dare suggest no more so than we can understand our own mind -- it is a lifelong adventure worth the effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son has told you that he is attracted to &lt;strong&gt;boys&lt;/strong&gt; and expresses no other interest in control/power/harm/etc, then things &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son has told you that he is attracted to &lt;strong&gt;younger&lt;/strong&gt; kids, then he needs what I needed: help -- and since he knows intuitively that everyone wants something, he is &lt;strong&gt;begging for it&lt;/strong&gt; because he &lt;em&gt;knows&lt;/em&gt; he cannot give that to himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are not sure, help cannot hurt!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To clarify that last statement, help &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; hurt. My mother and I share the same birthday.  When they took me to the group home it was for an &quot;evaluation&quot;.  When they kept me they did not care that my mother and I had always spent our birthdays together.  And today, as a constructive member of society I would &lt;em&gt;choose&lt;/em&gt; to pay that price again and many times over because I have convinced my mind of why treating everyone with the dignity of freedom of their own choice is the only course of action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just be appropriately balanced in your choice.  Making a universe out of a grain of sand will cause more problems than it solves.  If he's gay, who cares? If he's willing to do harm to others and begging for help, then, well, everyone cares!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you all the very best in a wonderful, respectful future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14650" LastEditorUserId="14650" LastEditDate="2015-04-14T02:58:04.990" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T02:58:04.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19482" CreationDate="2015-04-14T05:21:54.483" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At once I read this, I feel what I felt inside so long.&#xA;And I want to explain you about that according to your post. I am also a daughter of my mom (who is angry almost everytime). I loved her so much. When I feel good things, I also want her to feel. When I eat good food, I want her to taste it too.. Now.. she started to refuse it, talking against every word I said. I feel really stupid and felt like she never loved me enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You daughter is saying &quot;She doesn't love her mom&quot;? [First] Thing, she loved her mom alot before.&#xA;[Second], may be she is feeling jealous in being compared with her younger. [though it might not being compared, girl feels it being compared, means every words is important for a young girl mind!]&#xA;[Third] She started to ignore her (mom). She might feeling herself stupid when she talk to her. Maybe Mom is not replying every words she said, she thinks no one loves her.  OR&#xA;[Fourth] She started to stay strong without her mom, thinking she can be better without her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since every reason real or not, I think you are a good father sharing people about this to get back your daughter with love on her mom.&#xA;I think giving time with her mom is not just enough. There would be some reasons she's saying that. So find it out. And let her talk/share. Be the good parents by listening what she wants to tell....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope it helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14652" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T05:21:54.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19481" CreationDate="2015-04-14T06:57:13.400" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't claim to have all the answers, having never raised a teenager (yet!).  However, a pattern I have found effective is to actively seek out win-win situations.  At first it won't be as helpful as one wishes for dealing with bullies like that.  It will mostly show in relationships with friends (where it is easier to find cooperative solutions).  My experience is that, over time, one develops more skill at finding the win-win, and one day one starts to find that, when the bullies arrive, there are options to defend oneself without trying to push the bullies down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One advantage to this approach is that it blends well with other approaches.  The most visible places to practice this skill are with friends, not the bullies.  This means you can use other methods to deal with the bullies in the short term, while being able to rely on this approach in the long term as skill improves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T06:57:13.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19482" CreationDate="2015-04-14T07:12:38.557" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I sometimes tell my children I do not &lt;strong&gt;like&lt;/strong&gt; them right now (when they have done something wrong) but that I will always &lt;strong&gt;love&lt;/strong&gt; them with all my heart. That it is OK to be angry at someone (me at them, or them at me) but one must never, ever forget that we are a family and love is always there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found that it helped them a lot to make the distinction between short-term moods (and they feel that they can be angry but that this is temporary) and long-term bounds. I actually think that it reduced the amount of bad temper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Four years old may be a bit early for that, I started to have these discussions about 6 if I remember correctly. Worth a try, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS. it is easier if in your native language there is a simple distinction between &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;like&lt;/em&gt;. This is not the case in French so the wording gets complicated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14656" LastEditorUserId="14656" LastEditDate="2015-04-14T14:29:35.537" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T14:29:35.537" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19463" CreationDate="2015-04-14T08:42:23.767" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sure thing, the body will be carrying larger, and ache a whole lot more.&#xA;Pregnancy comes with its own risks and complications but having twins increases those risks significantly. With singleton pregnancy, one prenatal vitamin in a day is sufficient. But it needs more for an iron supplement and at least 1mg of folic acid for Twins. Those vitamin would reach to 16 cups of water requirements. [vitamin also included: 2,000 IU of Vitamin D, 1,000 mg of Calcium, for Twins] .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The body needs more water (16 cups) per day. It is really difficult but staying hydrated can stave off contractions and keep the body well hydrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exercise isn't important but rest.&#xA;Yoga and stretching is okay but aerobic or strenuous activities are not good for Twin Pregnancies when it's good for singleton. Simple walk around 30 minutes everyday is should-do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While singleton, sawing the Doctor once a month is great but Twin, every two-three weeks is necessary to monitor any changes and risks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please see &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Baby Websites&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;for more details.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14652" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T08:42:23.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19496" CreationDate="2015-04-14T09:24:34.873" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being forced not-to-cry is not a good idea for 4yr old girl. &#xA;Just let her cry, if her step-daddy do not allow her to do so. Pls take her in private to cry and stop when she's okay.&#xA;Forcing is not good because of Throat, and Eye. She is being forced and she had to force again to her throat and eye to stop crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should let her cry in bathroom or outside of the house alone. When she gets back, explain her about the situation happened, make her understand for the reasons that make her cry, but also say to stay strong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cried alot too when I was young, actually, still do. But always remember how my family members told me the reasons of situation happened. Then I understand back to it, and make myself not to cry. It feels better than being forced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14652" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T09:24:34.873" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19513" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-14T11:55:00.630" Score="3" ViewCount="348" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have sent our 12 year old daughter to a boarding school. How can i help her not to miss her mother to an extent that she is upset the whole day, has bouts of crying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has been away for a week, we spoke about this for over a year, normally she is pretty strong and taken on quickly to new situation and people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14664" LastEditorUserId="14664" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T14:53:19.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T18:15:39.277" Title="Adjusting to boarding school" Tags="|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19514" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19523" CreationDate="2015-04-14T12:07:37.960" Score="29" ViewCount="13658" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the father of a 2 years and 4 months old daughter. I can't understand if she's gifted or just very bright. We live in Italy, &lt;strong&gt;where giftedness is not recognized by law and there are no special programs for gifted people&lt;/strong&gt;. I'm gifted myself and going through school was extremely painful for me. My parents never realized that I was gifted therefore they never took action or did something to help me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never failed anything in school but I was always extremely bored and sometimes I skipped entire months and stayed at home instead. &lt;strong&gt;This was really painful for me, and I'm afraid that my daughter might experience the same thing.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;She can do a lot of things, but a the same time we taught her all of that and we spend a lot of time with her just playing, talking, reading or teaching something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can read about 100 words and the amount of words she's learning grows at an exponential rate (We actually measure this).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can count up to 10 both in Italian and English and she can do simple arithmetics.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can understand both Italian and English with ease, she only has troubles with abstract things like the idea of space, but after a little while she even got that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's pretty good with puzzles and problem solving in general. She can type words with a computer and use a mouse with some patience.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I understand that all of this stuff is what a gifted kid can do BUT, and I can't stress this enough, we spend A LOT of time with her.&lt;/strong&gt; I don't get if she's just very good at learning (and she usually enjoys that) or if there's some kind of internal process that actually gives her additional insights on the world. Here in Italy we have no possibility to test her, I'm trying to create some metrics to understand that, but I feel like I'm a little biased (I feel that she's not gifted). My issue is that being gifted is not necessarily different from having a problem. Gifted kids need a specific treatment and because of the lack of support here in Italy it is crucial to me to understand that. I'm not worried about her being successful or anything else, that is not the reason why I need to understand this! So, if she's bright I'm ok, if she's gifted I need to find a way to help her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What can I do to better understand the situation?&lt;/strong&gt; How can I help her if she's gifted for real?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14663" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-04T13:19:03.650" LastActivityDate="2020-09-27T09:06:30.557" Title="How can I tell if my toddler is truly gifted or just bright?" Tags="|toddler|education|gifted|special-needs|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19496" CreationDate="2015-04-14T12:18:33.783" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/19512/11241&quot;&gt;Nai's&lt;/a&gt; answer is head-on with helping her find out WHY she is crying. She is crying for a reason, but she may not fully know what the reason is yet. Once she understands, a lot of the pressure that made her cry may already be gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, don't just make her stop, but offer alternatives. If she cries because of frustration, helping her find out what the frustration is may ALREADY help.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also, do not forget: sometimes, you just have to cry. Crying is a perfectly natural reaction, telling her that ALL crying is bad sounds dangerous to me. Crying when your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up, because your beloved pet died, or perhaps even someone close to you? That is normal, so do not ban crying!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T12:25:54.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-14T12:43:32.407" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;(I'm going to focus on how to help her, rather than determining if she's gifted according to an external set of criteria.)&lt;/sub&gt;  Whether your daughter is considered &quot;gifted&quot; according to the person/methodology used to test this, go ahead &amp;amp; TREAT her as if she's gifted.  In other words, do what you're doing now: spend time with her, help her find things she wants to learn about and focus on, and try to make her educational experience as fulfilling as possible.  This will likely mean finding activities at home to further what she learns in school, along with other focuses that are completely separate from school.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Luckily, we live in an age where these resources can be more easily attained than 20 or 30 years ago (I grew up in the US and was part of a nascent gifted program, but it didn't do much for me; if it weren't for my parents, who encouraged the voracious reading I did, and gave me other things to learn about and develop outside of school, I'd've gone nuts from the boredom).  So use the internet to find age-appropriate activities for learning opportunities, and guide her in how to pursue a field of interest and learn more about it.  If you can find a forum with parents with similarly-gifted children, join in and discuss how they encourage their kids to develop their interests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if she's not considered gifted at this minute by the school system, your encouragement of and participation with her learning could help develop that ability quicker than if she were left to her own devices.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T12:43:32.407" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19485" CreationDate="2015-04-14T13:31:23.983" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I unfortunately ran into this from the other side of the booth at a maker faire, and chose to try a kickstarter so I could support more than one &quot;kit&quot; per family since the families themselves would almost always encourage their boy to participate while the girl obviously was interested.  We were successful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2070729777/pressure-sensing-switch-make-and-take/description&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2070729777/pressure-sensing-switch-make-and-take/description&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I expect that most educators are aware of this situation, and are trying various methods to avoid this, but are restricted by lack of resources from being as open and free as they might like with their materials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the focus you should have is as a parent - is your daughter receiving the encouragement and experiences she needs to feel comfortable and welcome in STEM fields?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, I recommend the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you run into this situation, with your daughter there, ask the educator if there's another kit they can provide your daughter.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they can, great! If not, ask them how you can obtain one, or how your children can successfully share one kit while both still gaining the same understanding and knowledge.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Approach the organizers afterwards and ask them if the event is meant for and open for all, relating your experience.  They will almost always assure you that it is, and that they will take measures to make sure those involved next time are more inclusive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consider participating.  It's hard work, and very, very demanding to try to bring complex topics to any child, but it's also very rewarding.  You don't have to have any special qualifications or expertise - just a desire to help children learn.  Approach the organizers and ask how you can help, or look around for ideas and come up with a kit or teaching moment you can showcase at such events.  Then you will be able to show by example how to help all children explore STEM.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that your encouragement and support will affect your daughter far more than the snubs of others in her youth.  It will take a long time before we stop hearing stories like this, but in the meantime you can make sure she is exposed to STEM topics and encouraged to pursue her interests regardless of the attitude of her educators and peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T13:31:23.983" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19485" CreationDate="2015-04-14T13:49:40.877" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Was the representative a man? It's quite possible he felt more comfortable approaching young boys rather than girls (the cultural bias against men as nurturing and safe around children, particularly girls, is still strong in the US - sexism hurts men too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't really matter if the act was motivated by malice or an error. A lot of sexism isn't meant to be cruel, but it still has a negative effect. A man in engineering, for example, may feel more comfortable mentoring a teenage boy than a teenage girl, and there are fewer women available as mentors for that teenage girl. Those facts may make a difference in what field the boy and girl may decide to go into.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a girl who was in the &quot;boy's interest&quot; activities growing up. I did rockets and programming in summer school, I excelled in math and science. I started my college career in Computer Engineering. I ended up changing majors to Biology, but then going back for a Master's in Computer Science.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't easy being in Computer Engineering/Science, I was often one of two or three girls in my class (I think I was the only girl in one of them). Despite there being a well-funded Women in Computing club (whose members were largely women minoring in CS), it was socially much easier to major in biology. I felt like I had to explain why I chose my major less often compared to when I was doing Computer Engineering. Also, being the only woman makes someone self-conscious, especially in a field where &quot;common sense&quot; says women don't excel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't control anti-STEM bias for your daughter. The world works as it does and you can't make all classes be equally populated, or change the surprised looks on people's faces when she says what her interests are. What you can do is help her be confident in her self and her abilities. You can show her that women have always excelled in STEM, there are plenty of women who made major contributions to every field. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should talk about how things were harder for women in STEM fields than men, but that it's improving. Trying to hide the facts will not prepare your daughter well, if she chooses a STEM field.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7102" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T13:49:40.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18459" CreationDate="2015-04-14T13:58:47.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Exercise during pregnancy is generally considered to be a good thing as it helps you stay healthy and helps with the fitness required for the birth. However, you should always follow the advice of your doctor or midwife first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming that you have no conditions that prevent it then I'm not aware that there is any level of activity that should be avoided but you have to use your common sense. If you don't feel good, then stop immediately, take a rest and perhaps start again more gently if you feel up to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What exercise you can manage also depends on how active you were before pregnancy. If you don't normally do much exercise then it's not a good time to start doing intensive training which your body is not used to. Pregnancy is already a big strain on your body. If you're normally very active then you can probably continue with most things and adapt them to how you feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also depends what stage of pregnancy you have reached. Up to about half way through my pregnancy, I was able to swim as much as I could before. After about half way, I found that I started to feel unwell and dizzy if I swam too strenuously. In those cases I did what I advised above - stopped, rested and continued after some time if I felt up to it. Eventually I stopped swimming as I was worried about feeling unwell in the water. However, I had no problems with reasonably brisk walking and including climbing stairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some activities which are generally not considered a good idea for pregnant women such as lifting heavy weights although I have heard of some women who do it without problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some exercise is particularly targeted at pregnant women. Pregnancy yoga is very common. I did this and really enjoyed it. It's a good way to connect with other pregnant women and often includes exercises to help you prepare for the birth. Swimming is also supposed to be very good as you don't need to support your weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, try to make sure you do some exercise as it is good for you but listen to your doctor and listen to your body. Do what you feel comfortable with and slow down or stop if you don't feel good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources: advice from midwife during pregnancy and personal experience&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-04-14T14:03:49.327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T14:03:49.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19336" CreationDate="2015-04-14T15:22:46.257" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/19419/4048&quot;&gt;Dave has mentioned this a bit&lt;/a&gt;, but I think that there's something that can add a bit of explanation. Understanding of what's going on is always good for solving it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience as a scoutmaster is that boys living without strong male figures seem to do &quot;girly things&quot; more during childhood and even puberty. This includes children from separated families that live only with mother, children whose dad is extremely busy with work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's nothing wrong with your son playing with dolls. He'll either grow up of it sooner or later, or it's a sign of some preference he has that you can hardly change (and shouldn't really try to change).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel he may miss a male figure in his life (from what you say it seems to me that his dad doesn't appear to be a good male figure, but I can't know of course), it may be a good idea to find a way for him to get such a figure. It may be doing sports, scouting, or even spending time with your friends or wider family, if there's anybody who would &quot;fit&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find it strange that he plays with dolls, you can try to find out why he likes this, and find something else. If he likes the social interaction part, you can get him LEGO or a similar toy that has figures as well. If he likes the creativity in clothing them, you can try to get him into some artistic handcraft things: ceramics, painting etc. Maybe he simply likes that they're &quot;living creatures&quot; and teddy-bears could have the same effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any case, I don't think it's really necessary to force to change anything, but if you knew why he likes dolls, you could try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4048" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T15:22:46.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-14T17:35:33.147" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure the difference between gifted or not is important to your actual question, which seems to be &lt;strong&gt;how to keep your girl learning and &lt;em&gt;wanting&lt;/em&gt; to learn.&lt;/strong&gt; Your primary concern, that she will be bored of school and hate going, happens even with non-gifted students.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, everything she learns is fun - like a game. Learning is &quot;playing&quot;, and she loves it. I'm not sure how good the school system is in Italy, but in the U.S. (&lt;em&gt;at least when I was a kid&lt;/em&gt;) learning was not &quot;fun&quot; and the teachers didn't even try to make it interesting. Some things have changed since we were children though, you should make an effort at investigating how the public schools in your area actually teach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try to teach her that there is something interesting behind every lesson, then she will push her teachers to teach more, by asking questions and attempting to learn the stuff that makes it interesting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, in a public school system you don't have a whole lot of control over her classmates or teachers. If it really becomes an issue and you can find a way to afford it, look into private schooling and see if that would fit her better, or maybe even home schooling if you have the time and money. If none of those are available, maybe even regardless if those are available, expand on what she is learning at school with fun ways to apply what she is learning, (&lt;em&gt;which can be a lot harder to do than it seems, especially trying to make the time for it&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;edit: Since I see other recommendations in some comments for this, you could also see if skipping grades would put the child more in line with her level of ability and fix her boredom.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just keep in mind that &lt;strong&gt;you shouldn't need to worry about how she will view school just yet&lt;/strong&gt;. Keep learning fun and continue what you're doing! Later, if you do find that she is bored of school - investigate what the best option would be for her at that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastEditorUserId="11426" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T21:45:11.383" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T21:45:11.383" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19522" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-14T20:23:58.337" Score="0" ViewCount="232" Body="&lt;p&gt;9 year old cries every time she is dropped off at school because she wants to be with her daddy and has a strange feeling about leaving him. She doesn't want to go to school at all because she will be away from him. Any help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14677" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-14T21:11:20.917" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T06:21:53.840" Title="9 year old crying?" Tags="|crying|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-14T20:26:18.177" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's most likely too early to tell.  If you could tell, it would depend greatly on &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; she is learning the things she knows.  Children's brains at that age have an extraordinary capacity for repeating things they observe, but mere remembering and repetition doesn't mean true understanding is happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if she is learning to read new words from you repeatedly pointing to the words while speaking them, then she says them, and after a while she remembers them, that's not a sign of giftedness.  If she is learning new words without you training her on them, just being read to, it might be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Repeating the trained sums of 1+1 and 2+1 isn't a sign of giftedness.  If she infers from those facts what the sum of 3+1 is, it might be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, you need to determine whether you have been training her, or whether she is directing her own learning and coming to her own conclusions.  Most people consider it near impossible to determine at all until school age, with many educators arguing it's still too difficult until around age 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I would caution you against this idea that a &quot;merely&quot; bright child wouldn't need special consideration regarding her education.  Modern school systems tend to treat children very homogeneously, and I think all children can benefit from individualized consideration.  Without it, whatever head start you have given her at home is likely to be completely erased within a couple years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even children of average intelligence can excel by being given the same sorts of opportunities normally reserved for gifted programs, such as autonomy in choosing topics of study they are passionate about, and being given the freedom and support to explore them.  Look at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sudval.com&quot;&gt;Sudbury Valley School&lt;/a&gt; for an excellent example.  I've seen it in my own son, who is of average intelligence, but he was so stifled and bored at school that he literally cried the last couple hours most days.  He is now thriving in his learning at home.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T20:26:18.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-14T20:55:57.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm the father of a 2 year old and I can't understand if she's gifted or just very bright.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual_giftedness&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual_giftedness&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There is no generally agreed definition of giftedness for either children or adults, but most school placement decisions and most longitudinal studies over the course of individual lives have been based on IQ in the top 2 percent of the population, that is above IQ 130.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I wouldn't sweat the difference between &quot;gifted&quot; or &quot;very bright&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Here in &lt;strong&gt;Italy&lt;/strong&gt; we have no possibility to test her, I'm trying to create some metrics to understand that, but I feel like I'm a little biased [...]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does it matter that you're in Italy? If there is such a thing as an IQ test for 2-and-a-half-year-olds, you should be able to mail order such a test from anywhere in the world. I'd wait until she's at least 10 and have her do a regular IQ test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't consider childhood IQ tests (or other academic performance prior to tackling high-school algebra and geometry) as indicative of academic potential. High-school algebra and geometry are that are the first true tests for a student. How quickly the student picks these subjects up are the first real indicator of academic potential. Anything before that doesn't actually deal with abstract reasoning, and it's abstract reasoning ability that counts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Gifted kids need a specific treatment and because of the lack of support here in Italy it is crucial to me to understand that. So, if she's bright I'm ok, if she's gifted I need to find a way to help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The terms gifted/bright are pretty much interchangeable. The reason bright students should not be in &quot;regular&quot; school is that their progress will be slowed by homework assignments that are calibrated for the progress rate of their peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all gifted/bright students have such a terrible time in regular school. In fact, I'd say most do quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're using the term &quot;gifted&quot; to refer to a bright student who does &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; adjust well to regular school, that's slightly different. I don't think there would be a way to test that other than simply waiting until the student is in school and determining whether the student is adjusted well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastEditorUserId="14451" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T01:01:17.260" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T01:01:17.260" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-14T21:16:44.000" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was &quot;gifted.&quot;  By the second grade, I was so bored with school that my teacher thought I was learning disabled!  Fortunately, my school principal was wise.  She tested me, then immediately skipped me to the next grade, then a few months later transferred me to the hardest teacher (the &quot;mean&quot; teacher, LOL).  That helped a lot (for a few years, anyway -- long enough for me to develop coping mechanisms).  BUT!  If not for that principal....  So, don't tell yourself, &quot;She'll fit in somehow.&quot;  No.  She won't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question: Gifted children aren't just smart.  They are funny-smart, weird-smart, scary-smart, you-try-to-hide-it-from-the-other-parents-smart.  At 1, they hardly ever talk; they just observe.  At 2, they have large collections: words, soaps, fruit, rocks, facts.  At 3, they are reading, and you didn't purposely teach them.  At 4, they not only know every animal in the zoo, but they know &quot;fun facts&quot; about every animal in the zoo.  At 5, they will be correcting the docent on every field trip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those are just examples.  Gifted children will differ.  But, if you have a gifted child you won't ask, &quot;Is my child gifted?&quot;  You will know.  People will tell you.  They will say things like, &quot;OMG!  I think your 4-year-old is smarter than me!&quot;  And you will ask, &quot;What am I going to do with this child?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14678" LastActivityDate="2015-04-14T21:16:44.000" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19526" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19527" CreationDate="2015-04-14T22:51:16.640" Score="9" ViewCount="13971" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently my wife was driving and nearly hit a person who pulled out in front of her, and noticed a strong clenching in her stomach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are quite a few websites indicating that a high-stress lifestyle affects the fetus, but I'm more interested in:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whether the baby can feel the stress of such moments (not including external physical events, such as braking)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whether such moments have any kind of long-lasting effect on the baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am unable to find any studies indicating the above, but I'm looking for a more fact-based answer than opinion.  Thank you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14679" LastActivityDate="2018-09-26T10:03:18.960" Title="Do high stress moments affect a fetus?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19526" CreationDate="2015-04-15T01:48:59.280" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;No doubt, if your wife was jostled, the baby felt this. More than that is hard to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As women have been having healthy babies in spite of acute stressors of all kinds, I'd &lt;em&gt;imagine&lt;/em&gt; that one episode has no lasting effect on the fetus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your wife feels fear (for example, a near accident), her body releases stress hormones, such as epinephrine and cortisol. Epinephrine causes an elevated heart rate, increases respiratory rate, trembling, etc. In high doses (e.g. those given for anaphylactic shock), this can lead to symptoms of fetal distress, however it's thought to be caused by the effect of epinephrine on the placenta more than on the fetus (epinephrine causes a decreased placental blood flow.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby's heart rate and movements respond to many things, even blood sugar. A fetal non-stress test relies on this information to evaluate the general health of the baby when there is any doubt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In physiological doses (such as the amount released by the adrenal glands on your wife's near miss accident), I would not be surprised at all if the baby's heart rate would increase as well, but not nearly as dramatically as your wife's did. It's estimated that only 10-12% of maternal epinephrine reaches the fetus. Your wife has a much stronger response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The placenta actually 'deactivates' cortisol, decreasing it's effects. A one-time stressor - again - is both common and not easy to study: 9 months is a long time; how would one know what outcome was caused by a particular event?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is known, however, that prolonged, significant exposure to cortisol might adversely affect a fetus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T04:53:47.503" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T04:53:47.503" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-15T02:40:40.693" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The widely used WAIS intelligence test has a version for children that can be taken from the age of 2 and a half; any professional psychologist should be able to administer this test.&#xA;Also, if there are no special schools for gifted children in your area, try to find a school that allows bright children to skip a year. It's a simple but apparently effective solution. If only my parents had agreed to this when it was suggested by my teachers (at different ages), it might have spared me from years of boredom and alienation, and saved me a fortune on psychotherapy and medication in adult life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14681" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T02:40:40.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="761" CreationDate="2015-04-15T04:20:41.740" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well its not possible for a parent to be around a 2.5 year kid all the time. Like my son he goes to school. Since there are other kids playing around it is possible for the child attender to lose control for may be few seconds and that is enough for a push or pinch. Here neither my child is wrong neither the other child because they are learning and self exploring. I cant totally blame the child attender for this too. So fortunately my child can speak and understand's danger so we asked him to shout NO loudly and push.(he cannot push hard so that the other kid may get hurt but hope that the push helps to make it clear its not comfortable). Its a trial from today. Hopefully this will work for my small looking kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14683" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T04:20:41.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19530" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19482" CreationDate="2015-04-15T08:16:22.630" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;While it's not 100% relevant to you (unless you have more kids :) ) - one bit of advice I think makes sense is to not relate too many changes to the newborn in a way that makes the existing kids feel less of a priority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example: friends of ours had two boys, each with their own bedroom. Their plan was to move the boys into bunkbeds in their own room when the next one came along (a girl).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We advised them to move the boys &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt;, a few months before the baby came. That way they would be settled into their new place, and it wouldn't feel as though the new child were being prioritised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13796" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T08:16:22.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19513" CreationDate="2015-04-15T11:34:49.497" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would think if you had a 12 YO that is NOT crying the whole day missing her mother soon after being sent to boarding school, you'd have a serious problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess one would just have to be as understanding and supportive of her as you can possibly be. Acknowledge the validity and appropriateness of her reaction. Twelve is very very young to face the world on your own&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to have as much contact as possible. I know some boarding schools specifically limit the amount of contact parents have with their children - I can't imagine that this can be good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You would have to be SUPER super sensitive to any troubles that she may be experiencing at school (bullying, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14687" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T11:34:49.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="761" CreationDate="2015-04-15T13:16:30.063" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had good results telling our three year old to put the hands in front of her (not really pushing but creating a physical distance between her and and aggressor) and yelling loudly &quot;no&quot; (mostly to alert the adults nearby). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7022" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T13:16:30.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-15T13:21:37.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may or may not consider me &quot;gifted&quot;. I was halfway through the fourth grade curriculum when I finished first grade (I had an awesome first grade teacher who encouraged me to work ahead. My family is still friends with her 18 years later). The school wanted me to skip straight to the fourth grade, but my parents decided to keep me with my age group so I wouldn't get picked on and so I could play sports. I got really frustrated in the following years with how easy everything was. I stopped paying attention and started acting out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later in my life I wondered if my parents made the right decision. 18 years later, I love where I am at in life. I'm about to graduate from a good university. I receive several job offers a month. I believe much of my success is because of the social skills I learned while I was bored in school. My only complaint is that I wished that my parents had let me make the choice whether or not to skip grades. They figured I was too young to make such a huge decision but I feel like if they had explained all of the pros and cons and helped me come to a decision, then I wouldn't have wondered so much about how my life would be different if I had skipped grades. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice to you is &lt;strong&gt;let your daughter choose&lt;/strong&gt;. Whether she is gifted or not, let her make the choice on how fast she wants to go and what she wants to learn and do your best to help her with the choices that she makes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14691" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-04T13:22:09.567" LastActivityDate="2019-04-04T13:22:09.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19526" CreationDate="2015-04-15T13:32:31.810" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think @anongoodnurse provided a fine answer. For your first question, I can't find anything on whether or not a fetus feels the stress of a moment. But I did find &lt;a href=&quot;http://health.howstuffworks.com/pregnancy-and-parenting/pregnancy/issues/5-ways-stress-can-affect-pregnancy.htm#page=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; article about how stress can affect a pregnancy in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Preterm labor and premature birth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Miscarriage&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Low birth weight&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Risk of infection&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increased problems later in life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The end of the article states:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;links between stress and pregnancy are still being formed, and only the most extreme stressful situations are likely to cause problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it would appear that a low-stress pregnancy would be ideal :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T13:32:31.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19481" CreationDate="2015-04-15T13:37:59.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Morality of good and bad are entirely subjective and opinionated. That's what you'll need to work on reflecting outwards. Regardless of where you are in life, undesirable situations - involving &quot;bad&quot; people will arise and the array of actions which can be taken are circumstantial, and the consequences even more circumstantial. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To take your example, wherein another individual begins to make fun of the child, and decompile the causality of it, we can immediately see that the &quot;bad&quot; in this situation is dependant on how your child perceives and understands what the other individual is saying. Your child is faced with 2 (main) scenarios, one where they perceive it to be a positive , humoured conversation and one where they perceive it to be negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the first scenario they could embrace it with laughter and counter 'humour', be intellectually witty in response or positively contest it. &#xA;In the second scenario, they could be stoic and reserved and let them do it, confront them with agitation or aggression in mind or simply ignore it and report it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As social creatures it's entirely normal for humans to verbally contend with one another - admittedly it's gotten a little lost in translation within the newer generations - and the main principle of education for children should be in confidence, acceptance and respect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's entirely possible for your child to positively react to ill-intentions with witty humour that isn't negative or a form of attack, it's in this confidence that ill-intention and verbal contests are won and respect is given. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example from modern society , mainly focusing around appearance, would be the mocking of a haircut. &#xA;An individual might remark &quot;Did your mum cut your hair?&quot; This is a verbal contest of wealth and style.&#xA;Your child could respond with &quot;No, I wasn't sure what I wanted and it didn't turn out as good as it could have - I like your hair though, what did you ask for?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem , especially with children, is that their sense of morality isn't developed to include this kind of contention - personal attacks on image and the usual things are a result of modern media classification and vast diversity. &#xA;To edge around this , you introduce morally clear lines - by complimenting the individual your child is offering a positivity and kindness that, if attacked as a result of being offered, will instil a sense of bad morality , it is therefore a lot more likely that the person will come to find a sense of respect and mutual understanding with your child. (it's important to note that most children experience the same situations and it is those who are more confident to push through them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14688" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T13:37:59.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19496" CreationDate="2015-04-15T13:38:03.890" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's impossible to answer because there are two sides to the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the child's side...with preschoolers there are so many different cries. A few examples:&#xA;  I want it my way.&#xA;  I'm tired/cranky.&#xA;  I'm scared.&#xA;  I'm sick.&#xA;  I'm upset (small thing).&#xA;  I'm upset (big thing).&#xA;  I don't like you/trust you.&#xA;  I cry because it's a habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since this is a partial list, does he really do this every time or just with certain cries? If you cannot discern the differences and crying is just crying to you, you have some learning to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the stepdad's side...if the approach is truly &quot;one size fits all&quot; he has some learning to do. This situation could be a parenting deficit or he could be correctly discerning a forced or manipulative cry, which can be dealt with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Too many possibilities to guess.  I'd look for answers to these kinds of questions (below), then re-post the question with more detail so we can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does stepdad demonstrate able parenting other than this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does stepdad have reasoning for this response?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How is she with mom? How does mom handle the crying?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is this with only certain crying circumstances?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does it appear the girl uses crying as a tool?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If there are other children, is crying handled the same way?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How frequently do you see this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We hope to hear more from you soon!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14692" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T13:38:03.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19214" CreationDate="2015-04-15T13:57:22.510" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend looking into the work of Ellyn Satter (a known child nutritionist with lots of experience on child eating issues and child obesity). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, her (scientifically documented) theory is that controlling kids portions can lead to a distorted view of food and portion control. Kids have the inborn ability to stop eating when they are full until society destroys that ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking your kid to practice violin in order to get dessert sends the signal that violin practice is something unpleasant that he has to go through to get something pleasant (dessert), weakening both his intrinsic motivation for music and his healthy attitude towards food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7022" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T13:57:22.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19497" CreationDate="2015-04-15T15:33:50.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is she meeting your local school system's expectations for literacy? If so, I'd say that her reading skills are more an interesting peculiarity than something to make a big deal about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it is the parent's job to quiz or test a kid about his or her skills, unless there is a concern that the kid is having issues. It is generally considered that effective methods to foster literacy are access to  quality books, being read to daily, and seeing adults read for pleasure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7022" LastEditorUserId="7022" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T15:39:50.553" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T15:39:50.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19522" CreationDate="2015-04-15T16:05:15.087" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I'd go for asking her and the teachers what's going on at school. Girls often feel safe with their dads, so it actually may be something that's going on, maybe her feeling bullied or some such. I'd start with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T16:05:15.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19541" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-04-15T17:18:15.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Discussing parents who have or feel they have a favorite child, and how that affects their family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For issues regarding children having a preference for one parent over the other, see &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/attachment&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged 'attachment'&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;attachment&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T17:18:15.483" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T17:18:15.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19542" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-04-15T17:18:15.483" Score="0" Body="Discussion of parents who may have (or feel that they have) a favorite child, and the ways that can affect a family." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T17:18:15.483" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T17:18:15.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19543" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-15T18:08:57.717" Score="32" ViewCount="22189" Body="&lt;p&gt;Full disclosure: I'm not a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was at a bar last weekend, and I saw something that was pretty startling to me. There was a woman with a baby in a baby bjorn, standing in the bar drinking and talking to her friends. I don't mean a small toddler, I mean a &lt;em&gt;infant&lt;/em&gt;. He looked like he was at most three or four months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I'm not a parent, I'd like to know if this is frowned on by the parenting community. It's certainly not anything I would do, but her friends, the bartender and everyone else seemed just fine with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I happen to know that in our area, minors are allowed in bars only if it is a non-smoking establishment, which this bar is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The place was not particularly loud; a room full of people talking with light music. Also, this was not a dive bar by any means, it's a pretty nice brewpub with probably not so much as a mild argument happening inside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm trying to ask is: &lt;em&gt;Is this something people do?&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;What are the potential effects of being in a bar-style environment on a baby's health?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13200" LastEditorUserId="13200" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T19:02:22.023" LastActivityDate="2024-04-06T00:08:11.953" Title="Bringing babies to bar?" Tags="|infant|health|alcohol|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-15T18:30:26.150" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although this is something I personally wouldn't do, I can't find anything about a baby simply being in a bar that would cause the child harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is this something people do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes. Yes it is. And there's quite a debate about it depending on where you are located. In your instance, it's okay for a minor to be in the bar. The law allows for it, and the mother embraced it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are the potential effects of being in a bar-style environment on a baby's health?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are always risks when you're out with your baby. A bar setting would simply enhance a few of those, especially with alcohol involved. The primary example I can think of in your setting would be someone tripping into and knocking over the mother and baby. The brewpub may not have been crowded or rowdy, but accidents happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T21:24:54.740" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T21:24:54.740" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-15T18:32:22.460" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not something I've heard of or seen people doing, and I live in WI where you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a bar and minors are allowed in any bar as long as they are with a parent. As far as the health of the baby is concerned, if the mother is nursing and drinking moderately to excessively, that could lead to developmental delays. From an overall health standpoint I wouldn't say the situation you described is much worse than a parent taking an infant to the movies. However, I would say there is definitely a social stigma attached to having children that young in a bar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6913" LastEditorUserId="6913" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T18:37:00.920" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T18:37:00.920" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19214" CreationDate="2015-04-15T18:51:51.837" Score="1" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Bribes&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bribes appear to work rather well with children. They need to be short term, realistic and believable. Deserts are a good reward for eating nicely, but perhaps are too long term for schoolwork.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Find out what motivates your chid&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different children are motivated by different things. Some you might want to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;money&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;iPad time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stars&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stickers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;points&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a turn on a computer game&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stories&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;trip to sweet shop&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;game of chess&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;special time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Age appropriate&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When children are young, pretty much anything you set up as a reward will be coveted. Rewards need to come quite quickly. A star drawn on a chalkboard is effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older children are more discerning. Stickers won't cut it. Find out what they like and bribe with that. Money is often effective, and putting your child on commission teaches them the value of work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-04-16T09:01:43.490" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T09:01:43.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-15T18:58:00.057" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't drink, and neither does my wife, so I don't exactly spend much time in bars - so I haven't seen this, but that's not really evidence of anything in my book.  I also don't know the law in this regard, so if it's actually illegal, obviously you shouldn't do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, as was pointed out in other answers, the effect of alcohol on a nursing baby is not insignificant; but I think this isn't really asking about that (and it's no different if you drink at home).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would point out that (either legally or socially) disallowing women with infants from bars is a subtle form of gender discrimination.  You're doing something that has very little impact on men, and has a significant impact on women, between the single mothers and the fact that (even in this day and age) women tend to be the caretakers of infants.  Barring women from bars if they have an infant in a wrap (or stroller) limits their ability to go out and socialize, and that's going to have a disparate impact on women versus men.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly it's possible to hire a babysitter or a cousin or (...) to watch your baby, and I'd think that is a better option; but &lt;em&gt;requiring&lt;/em&gt; it, either legally or socially, would mean many single women and mothers who have less helpful husbands would have to choose between going out and spending $50-$100 on babysitting, or not socializing with their friends; thus, poor and middle class single women would often have to forgo socialization.  It's not as bad as being banned from breastfeeding in public places, but it's in the same direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously the actual risks of having a baby in the bar would need to be weighed against that disparate impact, but I suspect the actual risks are relatively low, as long as either she isn't breastfeeding, doesn't drink herself, or is careful to time things so she won't have a high alcohol content in her breastmilk at feeding time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latter seems difficult, but in the former two cases, I don't really see a practical reason for forbidding it.  The reason minors aren't allowed in bars is the concern that it will have an impact on their moral development (ie, they'll be exposed to curse words, fighting, etc., drinking culture, lewd women, etc.), which won't really effect a four month old.  As far as mouthing things, well, that's a concern anywhere: I don't think bars are especially concerning compared to restaurants or movie theaters.  As long as the baby is kept close to the mother and she doesn't drink too much, I think the baby would be perfectly fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T18:58:00.057" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-15T19:02:38.397" Score="52" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a level of disagreement about whether children should be allowed in &quot;adult settings,&quot; and you can get all sorts of opinions on what's appropriate (both for the sake of the child, and for the sake of other patrons). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Is this something people do?&lt;/em&gt; Yes. It's pretty unusual, but clearly not unknown or impossible. I did take an infant to a microbrewery once, but it was also a restaurant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd personally feel that that taking Baby to a brewpup is not a great idea, but more because I have a hard time picturing a relaxing outing with my friends while I'm taking care of Baby. When I went out with other new parents with young infants, we were &lt;em&gt;grateful&lt;/em&gt; to leave the kid at home for a while. But not all parents approach situations the same way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;What are the potential effects on the baby's health?&lt;/em&gt; You've mentioned that the noise level was moderate but not loud, and there was no smoking. In that case, the health risk is the same as if the woman and child went to any public business: a restaurant where no drinks are being served, or a movie theater, or the grocery store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T19:02:38.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-15T19:15:16.083" Score="44" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see no reason to think this inappropriate behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you see any harm being done to the infant? There was no smoking in its presence. The baby was safely tucked into its bjorn carrier (already a positive parent sign), not being passed among the crowd, or mouthing everything in sight. She was having some drinks which she may have sorely missed while pregnant (maybe she wasn't nursing, or if she was, had surplus frozen so that she could feed the baby untainted milk for a day or two.) She was out having fun, and didn't leave the infant in anyone else's care, for which reason no one here knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There seems a desire to question this woman's behavior because she doesn't fit a stereotypical ideal of motherhood. The truth is, none of us know what kind of mother she is. And few of us would stand up to scrutiny 24 hours a day. I certainly did not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main question for me is (and you, as you stated): was she harming the baby? Can it be said how?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the information presented, I'd say no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she is a single mom who chose to have the baby. Had she been there without it, you'd never know that. Maybe it was a special evening for her to celebrate with her friends. Maybe she only did it once. Maybe the sitter no-showed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is this something people do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't go to pubs, so I can't really say. If it's not a rowdy place (and it actually sounds lovely), it wouldn't surprise me. One thing you might consider (which seems obvious but really isn't) is that infants of only a few weeks are &lt;em&gt;relatively&lt;/em&gt; uncommon, because they grow so fast. When you see one, it stands out. So, one infant in a pub might actually be an uncommon sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I myself don't care if she did it only once, or she does it once a month, as long as they are both safe and happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of us can know her situation, and in events like these, it's best to judge as you would &lt;em&gt;really, honestly&lt;/em&gt; want to be judged: being given the benefit of the doubt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-23T22:38:50.613" LastActivityDate="2015-04-23T22:38:50.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19551" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20721" CreationDate="2015-04-15T20:20:55.690" Score="19" ViewCount="3783" Body="&lt;p&gt;We just had our second parent-teacher conference with our almost-four year old's preschool teacher (he's in a Montessori school, that follows the technique well, mostly), and among other things, learned that the main issue the teacher felt that needed to be addressed was his respect for authority - and by that, she clearly meant &quot;doing what he's told&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my wife and I believe in raising independent, self-sufficient children who have the emotional and intellectual tools to be successful.  We don't believe in a discipline model that relies on parental authority, but in helping our children understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they need to do what they need to do (whether it's going to bed on time, brushing teeth, not hitting, whatever).  We believe that, other than in issues of safety or health, as much as possible they need to find out for themselves why they should or should not do things - with some guidance and suggestions, but ultimately fewer and fewer as they get older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This clashes with the general discipline model, though; certainly teachers expect that if they tell a student something, he does it, no questions or &quot;talking back&quot;, and to a large extent that's seen as necessary.  Even in a Montessori classroom, that's still the expectation, and not one we can really do a lot about (other than choose a different school, I suppose).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We understand that, and also understand that in life you ultimately do need to learn when to respect authority - at least apparently: to act respectfully, at least.   Whether or not you think the police officer pulling you over is targeting you because of your left-leaning bumper sticker, you still say &quot;Yes, Officer, thank you&quot;.  We definitely want him to have this experience (hence, not changing classes for this particular reason at least) for this reason - this won't be the only person in authority who expects him to respect her, and the earlier he learns, the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, what can we do to help our son here?  He's not yet four years old, so it's unclear to me how well he can understand the difference between acting respectfully and respecting someone (in the sense of giving more weight to their opinions or requests based on your past relationship with them, for example).  He's not a compliant child to begin with; his younger brother clearly is far more compliant, and will likely have much less trouble with this, but our three year old is already his own very independent person and very much likes to keep it that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we don't want to do is simply tell him &quot;You have to listen to your teacher&quot;; that doesn't give him &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;, for one thing, and relies on his respect for us and/or parental authority that we prefer not to rely on unless absolutely necessary.  A good answer will help us give him the &lt;em&gt;tools&lt;/em&gt; to deal with someone in authority without expecting him to become a compliant sheep, and the &lt;em&gt;reasons&lt;/em&gt; to understand why it might be necessary or appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&#xA;I talked with my wife about what the teacher referred to, and the specific behavior was &quot;not complying quickly with requests&quot;, not talking back or challenging authority explicitly.  IE, she will tell him, &quot;, go over and do your bead work next&quot;, and he'll require several repetitions to actually go do it.  This isn't all that different from getting dressed in the morning - except in how we handle it: we let him know what he's going to have time to do if he gets dressed now vs. if he takes until right before we leave to get dressed, and he typically chooses to dress quickly once he's awake enough to think coherently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-04-16T16:06:40.640" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T21:10:56.327" Title="How to effectively balance respect for authority with independence and self-determination" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|social-development|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-15T20:48:28.923" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Classifying your daughter seems very important right now, but consider the consequences of that classification. Success from hard work reinforces a work ethic whereas success from intelligence fosters the view that challenges result from the lack of intelligence. Intelligence is an intrinsic property whereas humility, persistence, empathy and kindness are earned and infinitely more important to our long term success. There is nothing more cliche than a gifted jerk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep your daughter appropriately challenged. You will have to get creative about that. Your daughter will experience many unique challenges, and you should absolutely support her through those. Any time we categorize somebody, we choose to ignore their facets that don't conform to our categorization. Don't put anybody in a box, no matter how vaunted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every parent should use that advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you treat your daughter like she is gifted, you just foster heartache when she stumbles. We all stumble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14703" LastEditorUserId="14703" LastEditDate="2015-04-15T22:14:44.687" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T22:14:44.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-15T20:52:56.503" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby wearing is great for a baby! And at such a young age they tend to sleep for a couple hours, eat and then just hang out interacting with their world.  Change their diaper and repeat.  It gets pretty mundane so introducing a new environment can be a nice change for both mom and baby.  It's not a place the baby can lay around and explore their surroundings so it's not something you would do often but nice this mom had the option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it takes a bold parent to do this because many would be afraid of judgement or stares from others (parents and non-parents).  While not a bar I brought my 6 week old to a wine social once (put on by my moms club to give moms a night out) and worship in a wrap.  It was my first evening out doing something fun for me in months and was food for my soul.  It worked for me because my baby was young enough he didn't sleep on a schedule yet (or rather did ok when the schedule changed a bit).  I also once took my baby and a 5 yr old to a wine and oyster tasting.  My older son had a great time slurping down raw oysters but ultimately had too much energy to be in a small space with glass bottles he shouldn't to touch.  We left after 30 min and I haven't done that again but don't regret trying it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know that it's frowned on so much as it's just probably not practical for many with kids.  If you have one baby you can do things like this easily buy more than one you cannot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point: as a parent worry less about what's normal and right and more about meeting your needs and your children's needs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14704" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T20:52:56.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-15T21:50:29.880" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it's a nice pub, where people get together for a few drinks and a good time, with a bit of music in the back, I honestly can see no reasonable difference between that location and doing the exact same thing in the setting of your own (or a friend or family members) home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not think twice about someone taking their child to a birthday party or other such family/friendly event. And the exact same things happen in those that happen in a bar: people talk, music plays, some people drink alcohol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T21:50:29.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19482" CreationDate="2015-04-15T22:13:20.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely don't write off the fact that a stay-at-home mom is taken for granted automatically by their children for being present most of the time (even if they don't think they get enough attention), and you are fascinating and &quot;scarce&quot; (economically speaking) simply by working and not being home all of the time.  The stay-at-home mom is more constantly saying &quot;get out of there, don't do that,&quot; and a good working dad is liable to lay on affection that may seem more noticeable to the child because they don't get it as often from you, and you might tend to &quot;spoil&quot; your children even in simple ways like not reacting to a situation as acutely as mom might be, who has been putting up with their shenanigans all day.  I know that as a working father by Sunday afternoon (when I'm with the kids all weekend) I am way less likely to put up with arguing, backtalk, fighting amongst themselves, etc because you get burned out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With me it goes both ways -- sometimes it's obvious that they are more excited about me in the moment because I'm not around all day, and I bring goodies home randomly and so on, and sometimes mom gets more authority and credence because she is around, and I have to explain that we are equal partners, both in charge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14706" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T22:13:20.683" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="761" CreationDate="2015-04-15T22:19:41.797" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that's far too young for anyone to be expected to defend himself, and that the problem is entirely with the older children, their parents, or both. I would talk to the other parents about the problem immediately. Then I would teach the other children to play nicely with him, and if any of them did such a violent thing as you say, I would remove the attacking child from the room, and give him a stern warning or have him stand in the corner for a few minutes. A child only two-and-a-half still needs to be watched by somebody responsible all the time, or to be in a playpen while the responsible person is nearby, such as doing a chore in the next room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you ask also what to do when he's older. We have our kids in a Jiu-Jitsu program called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gracieacademy.com/bully_proof.asp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;'Bullyproof'&lt;/a&gt; (there is &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.graciekids.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;more too, including a program for entire schools&lt;/a&gt;), which means they practice in each class what to do if they encounter a bully. First they have to assertively talk to the bully, telling the bully firmly to stop bothering them. Second they have to tell adults, and if it's in school, as many as possible, so the adults will have the bully under surveillance and feeling scared. Third, if the bully tries to attack them, they use purely defensive Jiu-Jitsu moves on the bully. They are taught how they can protect themselves from attack without ever hitting or punching or kicking (this was one reason we transferred them to it from Tae Kwon Do): the bully, even a larger one, is put into an uncomfortable position and is forced to negotiate and promise to leave the bullied child alone. The child who is bullied thus deflects bullies, learns fighting doesn't solve anything, doesn't become a bully himself, and is particularly unlikely to get injured or suspended from school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14700" LastActivityDate="2015-04-15T22:19:41.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19557" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-15T23:33:02.087" Score="11" ViewCount="298" Body="&lt;p&gt;I come from a long line of lecture-happy parents. This used to drive me nuts when I was a kid. I would get into trouble and then get an earful. My eyes would glaze over and I would basically just mentally vacate the premises. My own kids do it to me now. Here I am imparting my vast wisdom and experience on them, and all they can think about is &quot;when can I play legos again&quot;. &#xA;I've been reading a book called &quot;How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so  kids will talk&quot;. So far, I'm frustrated by the contrived examples given in the book. When I try to use the suggestions I get nowhere. How do you know when your kids have gotten your point sufficiently? I don't want to bore, or annoy them, but I do want to them to get some benefit from my talking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13739" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-16T05:13:20.537" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:47:24.743" Title="How can I better recognize the point where I've talked too much when disciplining and it's becoming counterproductive?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1173" CreationDate="2015-04-16T00:26:03.327" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Really it's much more complicated than 'left' and 'right'. First, of course there are hard and soft left and right, i.e. changing how far, how fast, and will there ever be an end to it? Next, consider the international differences, such as republicanism being left-wing in the UK and right-wing in the US. And there are historical nuances, such as revolutions being left wing, but people in the US who favor returning to the principles of the American Revolution are considered right-wing. Then what about things such as socialism... Is it left-wing? &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielhannan/100260720/whenever-you-mention-fascisms-socialist-roots-left-wingers-become-incandescent-why/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Was the Nazi ('National Socialist Workers') Party left-wing or right?&lt;/a&gt; What about Mussolini? I think most people say right, but he seized power, which is revolutionary and thus far left, when the country was a monarchy, which is far right. Then there are exceptions to your generalizations. For example, on the 'right', Republicans don't think the government should stay out of our lives regarding education, just that there should be 'State and local control' without specification of a ratio between the two, of how local is local, if states colluding (as the Governors' Assoc. did to set up Common Core) counts, and if Federal control is excluded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So both gradations and another dimension are needed, to distinguish between 'right' and 'left' in social and economic aspects. For example, the Democratic and Republican parties in America differ somewhat in social aspects, Democratic being soft left, and Republican being 'moderate' to rightish, but differ little in economic aspects (both left of center, but they just want 'the money'—money we earned! and unprecedented shares of it!—going in different places). Still, I don't know of any meaningful differences on the national scale in decades, maybe centuries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then even one more dimension is needed, since not everyone agrees on what &lt;em&gt;sort&lt;/em&gt; of government is correct to have in the first place: the dimension of 'political liberty', in which Republicans and Democrats are exactly identical. 'Positive &amp;amp; Negative Liberties in Three Dimensions' explains these dimensions more thoroughly, and it has a quiz on it so you can place yourself in the framework someplace, but the quiz is scattered around and not automated. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.friesian.com/quiz.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;An automated version&lt;/a&gt; has the link to the original essay. Personally, I am around 100 economic, 40 social, and 0 political, making me a conservative-right-almost-libertarian-absolute-monarchist, or more figuratively, I wandered lost all over the wings most of my life, not fitting in anywhere, and eventually fell off the right end of the right wing. Basically, nobody else in America agrees with me, but I was finally glad to discover why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So when you go to explain 'right-wing' and 'left-wing', I'd recommend giving examples of policies or beliefs of each type in social, economic, and political aspects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14700" LastEditorUserId="14700" LastEditDate="2015-04-16T00:31:55.167" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T00:31:55.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2015-04-16T00:42:37.970" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is late- but if anyone is still reading-&#xA;My husband and daughter are only children.  My observation is only children don't learn to be naturally mean- it puzzles them.  I'm one of 7- we learned to be mean fron an early age- we never got along. &#xA;My siblings are marginally employed, my husband and daughter are educated and hold very high level leadership positions in global companies because they manage people so well. I don't know any only children who are unemployed- although I'm sure there are some.&#xA;Are there many only children in prison?  Last I checked there were not. &#xA;My siblings as do many of my friends who had siblings. Interestingly- very few of folks I know with siblings enjoy getting together with family and many expect their children to help them in old age.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I think the burden on society and the environment with over population and use of resources should be considered as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14709" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T00:42:37.970" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-16T02:59:13.537" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can think of nothing wrong with this. On the other hand, there are various good reasons for doing it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents of newborns tend to get cooped up at home. Getting out and&lt;br&gt;&#xA;socializing is important to relieve this, and some parents don't have&#xA;access to (or don't want) babysitting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For first-time parents, going out in public with a newborn can be a bit scary. One way to make this less stressful is for the first few outings to be something enjoyable and stress-free.&#xA;e.g. A drink with friends rather than grocery shopping or banking. This builds confidence for taking the baby out on errands.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some parents are very conscious of the possibility of becoming a nuisance if their baby happens to start crying loudly, so a noisy gathering is a good choice (the baby's crying won't make much difference at the pub, but at the bank it would be a substantial disturbance, bringing unwanted attention to the parent).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It introduces the baby to a more dynamic environment, with new sights, sounds, smells, faces and voices.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all it's a great thing to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14710" LastEditorUserId="14710" LastEditDate="2015-04-18T04:14:09.830" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T04:14:09.830" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-16T07:20:39.370" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Considering the link in your comment: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bownet.org/BESGifted/brightvs.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.bownet.org/BESGifted/brightvs.htm&lt;/a&gt;, what I got from that is not the difference between &quot;gifted&quot; and &quot;bright&quot; but rather the difference between &quot;observant&quot; and &quot;curious&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother and I are like this. I am the &quot;curious&quot; type (what you'd call gifted) and my brother is the &quot;observant&quot; type (what you call bright). We're both engineers, both artistically talented in some way and I presume both equally intelligent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd strongly advise you to not differentiate between &quot;gifted&quot; and &quot;bright&quot;. Rather, the real thing you should focus on is rate of learning regardless of weather your child is gifted/curious or bright/observant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is partly true that gifted/curious people are often bored at school. This is because they often lack patience and don't value repeating a task as much as observant people. This is not always the case though. Generalizing is good for studying societies but almost always fails when applied to individuals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also partly true that observant people are less bored at school. I think this is because they &quot;see&quot; more then the rest of us and can therefore always find something interesting going on with their friends, with how the wood of their desk have worn out through the years, with recognizing that something the teacher is saying is related to something else mentioned two months ago etc. I'm not entirely sure because I haven't experienced this myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it is also because observant people recognize the value of doing a task repetitively. The value of practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both personality types can manifest in children who are slow to learn as well as children who learn very quickly. (Ask almost any kid on this planet and they'll generally tell you school is boring). Which is why I stressed to not worry/care about the personality type but rather focus on the rate at which your child develops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For slow learners, generally I'd say the personality type does not matter. Public school is generally designed for some defined &quot;average&quot; learning speed so it should work either way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For fast learners, I think personality type matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Curious people tend to not value repetition unless they're really interested in the subject (skateboarding or playing guitar for example). But repetition is key to mastering a subject (instead of merely understanding it). Regardless of talent it has been shown again and again that it takes 10000 hours to master something. The difference is that people who others think are &quot;talented&quot; find practicing fun and therefore reach that 10000 hours of practice quickly. So, if your child finds a subject &quot;boring&quot; ensure that he/she doesn't skip the subject for something more &quot;fun&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Observant people on the other hand tend to like staying within what they already know. This means that they may be a bit slow to advance in a subject but they have a very solid understanding of all previous topic. If your child is like this, encourage him/her to explore the subject further by asking questions. In short, become your child's curiosity. Also point out links from one topic to another he/she has already learned. Sometimes textbooks don't mention them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are pros and cons to both personality types. I think a parent's job is to provide balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14714" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T07:20:39.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-16T09:09:16.950" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would approach it from the point-of-view of the other patrons in the bar (not part of the mother's group). One reason I go to bars is that it is the one place you can get &lt;em&gt;away&lt;/em&gt; from kids. You can get a bit squiffy, tell a bawdy joke, not have to mind your language too much and generally be in the company of other like-minded adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is all rather spoiled if a baby starts squawking in the background or a toddler is scampering about with a toy. I can get that at home...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if it's a quiet bar in the afternoon (or better still, if she's out in the beer garden) it's tolerable. If it's evening (adult-time) then she should find somewhere a little more family-centric.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14716" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T09:09:16.950" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-16T09:29:04.260" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;We regularly took our first child to the pub with us. Every Friday from when he was about 10 days old until about 9 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reasons why: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;so we could still socialise with our friends&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;so we weren't stuck in a house all day with a child. This is an essential part of remaining sane&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he slept only from about 2am to about 4am so we wanted to maximise the time we spent doing useful things&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he loved it. He's now a very sociable 14 year old and has always enjoyed meeting people&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't take kids to a place that allowed smoking, but the social environment of a bar is fine, in my view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T09:29:04.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-16T09:43:13.483" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this will help but I have a daughter of a very similar age with some similar characteristics. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What strikes me about your daughter is reading and arithmetic. I've certainly not witnessed any children either reading or doing any form of arithmetic at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is currently 2 years and 5 months, she can:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Count from 1 to 10 in English and Dutch&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She doesn't have the proper concept of what numbers mean - if she sees 4 lions on a page she'll count to a random number&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can't read words&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sing the ABC song all the way to Z&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can sing (slightly mumbled) approximately 30 songs in English / Dutch&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can do jigsaw puzzles of 4 pieces entirely on her own but needs help with 6+ pieces&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's good at the memory game where you have to turn over two cards to see if they match - on a 4x7 board I'd have to help her at the very beginning to reduce the frustration but she can remember better than I can where cards were&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also bare in mind there's lots of other ways to be gifted - e.g. sports, art etc. I'm busy teaching my daughter football :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want things to inspire your daughter the &lt;a href=&quot;http://piano-diary.blogspot.be/2008/09/suzuki-method-for-young-children.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Suzuki method&lt;/a&gt; for learning the Piano / Violin can be started around this age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also taking my daughter to a children's ballet performance was eye opening as first she managed to sit through an hour and a half's performance which I never guessed was possible and also it directly inspired her to start imitating the dancing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also found an &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.chessbase.com/post/magnus-carlsen-on-his-che-career&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;interview with Magnus Carlsen&lt;/a&gt; interesting for a fairly absolute definition of 'gifted':&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I wanted to do 50-piece jigsaw puzzles when I was not even two years old&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3778" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T09:43:13.483" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19551" CreationDate="2015-04-16T12:45:50.457" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason people submit to authority is because it's a condition of associating with a group, to keep things harmonious and efficient.  The main difference with children is they have a lot less choice over &lt;em&gt;who&lt;/em&gt; they associate with.  In other words, they usually don't have the choice to end an association with a group in lieu of submitting to its authority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want to teach your child to recognize the difference between when an authority's request is arbitrary, and when it is fairly made for the sake of group harmony and efficiency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the difference between expecting a child to hurry up to get ready to leave the house with the family, and expecting him to hurry up getting dressed to play alone.  The former affects the entire family, but the latter does not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The unfortunate aspect of school is the need for efficiency while managing a large group too often outweighs individual autonomy, but again, that's the cost of associating with that group, and the parents chose that association on the child's behalf even if the child didn't.  Teachers simply don't have time to debate with each child individually over the reasons why complying will benefit the group.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to clean up quickly as a courtesy to the next child who will use those supplies.  You need to get ready quickly so everyone can have lunch earlier.  You need to be quiet when requested so as not to disturb the group.  It's okay to have questions, but you often need to hold them for a more appropriate time.  These are things even adults do in similar situations.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T12:45:50.457" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-16T13:21:49.363" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Originally, the definition for childhood IQ was to test the child for various abilities, and then compare it with the scores of the averages of different age groups. The child's mental age would be the age in the population that had the closest average score to the child. Divide the child's mental age by their real age, and multiply by 100.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you can get a general idea of your child's IQ if you ask yourself whether they are unusually ahead of the average skill level of their age peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 'truly gifted' child then, according to IQ, is the one that has ability far beyond their peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A problem, however, is that even if your child has a high IQ now, it won't necessarily have a high IQ later. And since it's relative to the population, it's a difficult-to-understand measure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I think that question about labelling your child is actually irrelevant to the real problem you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compulsory education, and especially sending your child to most public schools may cause the same issues you had. But I also think there is a major complicating factor: she is a girl. To give a small idea: boys are more likely to be classified as having attention deficit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I decided a few years ago that if I have children, I will not send them to public schools, and instead teach them myself, directly or indirectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And because we can't all share the same opinions, you have to choose for yourself what you think is best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14598" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T13:21:49.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-16T13:37:35.050" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd be more worried about someone bringing a 16-year-old to a bar than a baby. The 16 y.o. might drink; the baby presumably will not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the bar was a rough place where drunken brawls regularly break out, then yes, I'd say bringing a baby is a bad idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the mother got drunk and did something to endanger the baby, of course that would be a problem. Or if she got caught up in the socializing and neglected the baby -- stuck him in a corner and left him there for hours unattended -- that would be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you could say the same about taking a baby almost anywhere. If you take your baby to the grocery store and leave him in a corner unattended that would be a problem. If you go to a friends house and get caught up in socializing and fail to take proper care of your baby that's a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But assuming that she was responsible, I don't see any problem with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW Since my first child was born 20-something years ago I have not had a single drink in a bar -- I've eaten at some bar-and-grills but did not consume alcohol -- and I have never taken a baby to a bar, so I'm not in any way defensive on this question. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T13:37:35.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19557" CreationDate="2015-04-16T13:39:15.563" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you talking AT them or TO them?  Mine do the eyes-glazed, mind-is-a-million-miles-away thing when I'm grumbling about this or that thing; when I see that look starting to threaten, I stop and ask them (a) what did I say, (b) why am I telling you this, (c) what will happen if you continue with [insert poor decision or behavior here]?  If I'm not quick enough with the re-direct, I have to get the child's attention back on me, and start over, so it's training me to pay attention to THEM as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when I actively discuss the situation with them (&quot;why do we hold a hand in the parking lot/ not dart into traffic&quot;) and they respond with something that makes sense (&quot;because the car is bigger than I am and you can't get another me from the kid store if I am hurt&quot;), then I know they're listening.  I can also see if the way I'm attacking the issue isn't effective, and either change my tactic or just drop the whole thing for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't mean I don't end up having the same conversation over and over and over; this just means I'm hopeful that they are HEARING me and not just letting the words flow past their ears.  I'll figure they have truly groked what I'm teaching them when the poor decisions or behavior I'm trying to address cease. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T13:39:15.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19557" CreationDate="2015-04-16T13:51:02.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids are all grown now, but when they were little, my philosophy was that all discipline should be quick and decisive and then it's OVER and I do my best to establish that we are all still/again a loving family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't studied any psychological studies, but it seems to me that if you tell your child, &quot;Hey, don't talk to your sister like that!&quot; (or whatever the issue is, of course), the kid may get the message or he may not. But a 4-hour lecture on why it's wrong to be rude to your sister is not going to be effective because the kid will zone out, just as you describe. You make your point, and you stop. (Depending on the nature of the offense and the attending circumstance, a sharp scolding may be the all the discipline that's called for, or there may be something more, but that's a different question.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When children are older, there may be times when it is appropriate to really explain the reasons behind something. If the child challenges something you have said, you should be prepared to back it up. I recall the time one of my children insisted that there was no need for her to finish school because she knew lots of people who worked at McDonalds who had nice cars and big houses, and I had to explain that this was pretty much impossible unless they had a bunch of money from an inheritance or some such. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if your lecture is pretty much repeating the same point over and over -- it's wrong to hit your sister, you wouldn't like it if someone hit you, you should be nice to your sister, people should be nice to each other, etc etc -- I really doubt the child is learning anything by the repetition. I'd zone out too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T13:51:02.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-16T13:54:38.433" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've stated that the bar is not loud, and is smoke-free, so the environment itself should have no negative impact on the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One potential cause for concern though would be what the mother was drinking. If she is still breast feeding, then alcohol consumption can be problematic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with a baby being in this sort of environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T13:54:38.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19551" CreationDate="2015-04-16T14:03:27.500" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I definitely agree with your basic principle: I didn't want my children to grow up to be mindless, subservient robots. I wanted them to learn to make decisions for themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BUT, you have to apply this principle taking the child's age and maturity into mind. I did not allow my children to &quot;decide for themselves&quot; whether to play in the middle of a busy highway when they were 5 years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child is a newborn, he is not capable of making any decisions for himself. You must do it all. By the time he graduates from high school or college he should be responsible for all his decisions for himself. Between point A and point B you have to be gradually ceding the child more and more responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Four years old is much too young for a child to understand why he needs to go to school and obey his teacher. Yes, you can explain to him that he needs to learn his alphabet so that he can learn to read so that someday he can function in a business environment. Will a 4 y.o. really understand and appreciate that? I really doubt it. You can explain why he needs to follow the teacher's instructions because that is necessary to have an environment where all the children are safe and can learn. Odds are he just wants to play with his toy cars or whatever. He's just too young to be making decisions about whether to go to school and how to behave there. You're trying to move him along too fast. Do you let your 4 y.o. decide whether he wants to go to the dentist, or whether he will eat vegetables or ice cream for dinner? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we were talking about a teenager, yes, a discussion about why we need to treat people in authority with respect even if we don't respect them personally might be appropriate. But a 4 y.o. is much too young to understand the concepts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T14:03:27.500" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19574" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19575" CreationDate="2015-04-16T14:18:41.747" Score="4" ViewCount="11810" Body="&lt;p&gt;When bathing a child (particularly a baby under or around 1 year old, who can not stand on their own yet) is there an effective way to clean all of their body parts that are usually submerged under water? What I mean by this, is that regardless of the type of bathtub you use (or sink), the bottom parts of their body (their butt, legs and privates) will be submerged under water. This makes them complicated to clean. You can try lifting them up out of the water to clean those parts, and all around them, but this is difficult to do on your own, and if the child squirms you are at risk of dropping them in the water face first. You can also hold them against you, but then you have to be ready to get soaked yourself. You can simply resort to leaving them where they are, but then you are just wiping them with a wet rag (all of the soap gets diluted once the rag goes in the water) and plus its still difficult to get into all the rolls/cracks/crevices this way. When they are an infant its a little bit easier, since they move less, and you can put them on the slanted portion of the bath, but the difficulty still holds there too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a better way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6234" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-04-17T17:28:41.210" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T19:17:58.073" Title="Is there an effective method for cleaning butts?" Tags="|infant|bathing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19574" CreationDate="2015-04-16T14:38:37.243" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a wonderful midwife who showed us a very neat trick for turning our baby safely onto her front while bathing. I couldn't effectively describe it, but it basically involves cupping the baby's head carefully in your hand, and gently lift and turn the baby, ensuring their nose and mouth is to the side and well clear of the water. They love being on their front and will have a good kick and splash with their hands at the same time. It also gives easy access to clean their little bottoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other tips. You'd want to get their bottom reasonably clean with a nappy wipe before putting them in the bath. Also we always gave ours a rinse off with clean water after lifting them out, to remove any soap residue and any other gunk that might have ended up floating about in the water. This can be hard to do on your own though. If at all possible try to have a helper for bath time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you could do though if you need to wash the baby by yourself. At the end of the bath, let the water out, and then rinse off with the plug out. One of those little hand shower things that attaches to the tap is invaluable for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally lots of parents eventually decide that baths are too much work, and instead opt to take the little one into the shower with them. This tends to be easier for slightly bigger babies, like 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T14:38:37.243" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19574" CreationDate="2015-04-16T14:39:24.190" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For an infant, I don't recommend submerged bathing: I like the kind where you have a foam &quot;bathtub&quot; insert either in the sink or in the bathtub, and you just use soapy water to clean them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they're older than infants (ie, can fully support themselves) then it's not particularly hard in my experience.  Bubble baths help this a lot: then they're submerged in soapy water, and if they're playing in that for 20-30 minutes, odds are you don't have to do very much to clean them at all - a little underwater wipe is sufficient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, you don't really have to sterilize or sanitize this area; it's not going to be touching anything other than a diaper or underwear, and germs aren't going to crawl up and do anything other than help digest your food a bit better.  I wouldn't worry too much about the amount of soap getting there - getting off anything solid is important, but if it's not soapy enough, you'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T14:39:24.190" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19557" CreationDate="2015-04-16T14:50:43.443" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's best to save the longer explanations for a time when the child is calm and receptive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So basically at the time they do something wrong, be very blunt and to the point. &quot;Because you did A (a bad thing), you need to have a timeout&quot;, or whatever correction method you are using. At this point they're likely going to be very unhappy and stressed etc. and they aren't at all receptive to anything else you try to teach them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the tantrum is all over and everyone's happy again, just broach the topic again gently. Something like...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Do you remember when you did A, and daddy got cross, this was because doing A is very dangerous, and we don't want you to get hurt...&quot; etc. etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids aren't that different to adults. Nobody learns effectively, or is receptive to new ideas when they're angry or upset. So, save the long explanations for when it may have a hope of sinking in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T14:50:43.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19310" CreationDate="2015-04-16T21:39:34.780" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the fear is caused by noise or strangers it should go away as he becomes older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A typical twenty-four month old child should be afraid of loud noises and strangers. It would be unusual if he wasn't.  Here's a visual showing the fears of young children over time. The left side shows fears that decrease over time and the right side shows fears that increase over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/bCzca.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Young Children Fear Chart&quot;&gt;&#xA;This image is from Jeffrey A. Gray's book &lt;em&gt;The Pyschology of Fear and Stress&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14728" LastEditorUserId="14728" LastEditDate="2015-04-16T21:46:34.057" LastActivityDate="2015-04-16T21:46:34.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19583" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19584" CreationDate="2015-04-16T23:50:02.157" Score="5" ViewCount="207" Body="&lt;p&gt;All the adults in the household help to enforce the rules enacted upon the toddler except one;   That adult often removes the child from discipline when the others are enacting it.   We were told by our parenting class that all the adult members of the household have to enforce the rules for the toddler to take it seriously.  Said non-conforming member claims that the child is not yet old enough to understand rules.  What can be done about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1880" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T02:08:25.107" Title="Keeping toddler within the rules when an adult member of the household doesn't wish to enforce them?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19583" CreationDate="2015-04-17T02:08:25.107" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a difficult situation, but more common than you'd expect. Frankly, it isn't that good for anyone: the parents aren't communicating and supporting/respecting each other, and the child justifiably will push limits set by the parents, and learn to play two against the middle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't mention who the adults are in the situation, and which adult is the &quot;softie&quot;. :-) At 14 months, a child is not too young to learn basics, such as &quot;no&quot; for dangerous things. More complex situations (not throwing things on the ground for pick-up, etc.) are probably out of the child's understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The people who decide how to enforce rules should be the parents, and ideally (I'd say it's very important) they should be reading about it, talking about it, listening to each other, and deciding together. Then they should present a united front.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are other adults, for example a grandparent, my personal opinion is that the grandparent should defer to the parents, not the other way around. If you're living with the dissenter for financial reasons, you are coming up against the &quot;money is power&quot; dynamic. Sometimes it's a cultural tradition. Without discussing this (I don't know if this is the situation), I think this non-parental adult is overreaching their non-parent responsibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that this is common, what are the up-sides? The pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Usually one parent feels more comfortable allowing kids more freedom to explore, go on adventures, have more responsibility.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Usually one parent is more inclined to say &quot;no&quot; while the other, &quot;yes&quot;, so the kids will have more actual leeway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It gives kids skill in dealing with different types/styles of responsible persons.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One parent is likely to feel unsupported, and feel like &quot;the bad guy&quot;. This causes stress between the parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child will learn to &quot;divide and conquer&quot; - and here, everybody loses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child may learn that lying is an effective tool: &quot;But so-and-so lets me do it!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child questions where authority ought to come from if the parents are in disagreement (confusion).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The bulk of the real parenting will fall to the more committed parent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the children recognize that one parent is permissive for the wrong reasons (e.g. doesn't want to be the &quot;bad guy&quot;, or is inconsistent out of laziness or convenience), they will eventually come to disrespect that parent. The teenage years will be much harder for this parent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The children of such parenting conflict actually have more behavior problems.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discussion, respectful and ongoing, of changing attitudes, failures, successes, new ideas, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cooperation. If one parent is tired, the other can take over, and the kids have the same standards in place.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Althugh this isn't a scientific study, I think that there is a lot of valuable information here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tipsonlifeandlove.com/parenting/the-importance-of-a-united-front-in-parenting-especially-when-it-comes-to-discipline&quot;&gt;The Importance of a United Front in Parenting — Especially When It Comes to Discipline&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T02:08:25.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19208" CreationDate="2015-04-17T03:02:52.557" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of great ideas here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will try to describe how I have done time-outs.  My younger son is 12 and has Tourette Syndrome (TS) and ADHD.  Hopefully this rather extreme case gives you some ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The three main influences for me in developing my approach have been:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I read about attachment disorders in children and how to deal with them (out of curiosity -- not because anyone in my family is affected by this)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A family therapist gave me the basic approach when my younger son was about 3&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My son -- I've learned so much from him!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's helpful to have a clear goal underlying the time-out.  I use time-out mainly as a way for my child to regain some measure of inner self-control.  When he comes out of time-out, he's more in touch with himself and more in control.  Instead of just riffing off others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I got from reading about attachment disorders was the concept of a time-out as a period of exclusion from family life.  I read that the time-out chair should be in a place somewhat removed from the main action, but still in sight and hearing of the main action.  The idea was for the child in time-out to feel excluded and left out (and briefly miserable!).  There's still a relationship connection -- but there's absolutely no &lt;em&gt;interaction.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My time-out chair is a small green chair with a woven wicker seat that lives at the edge of the kitchen.  There are no toys or interesting objects in the vicinity.  My son is not allowed to take anything with him to the green chair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the beginning I had a triple hour glass gadget that had a different color for each hourglass -- for one minute, three minutes and five minutes.  That was the suggestion of the family therapist.  She wanted it to be very visual.  For the first few years it tended to go as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This example has to do with my son's proclivity to interrupt constantly at dinner, making it impossible to have any kind of conversation at the dinner table.  At the first interruption, I reminded him of the expectation.  The next time he interrupted, he was put in time-out for one minute.  To put him in time-out, I would say, &quot;Green chair, one minute.  One... two... three.&quot;  If he wasn't sitting in the green chair yet by the time I said &quot;three,&quot; I would escalate: &quot;Green chair, three minutes.&quot;  I only rarely had to get to five minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was younger and I was angry or wanted to be theatrical, sometimes I marched him to the green chair, holding his arm firmly.  More as an expressive tool, than as a way of forcing him to go.  Basically, he knows he has to go there and sit down because if he doesn't, he'll get more time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rules for the green chair are, you have to sit quietly without playing with anything.  Other family members have to be supportive by not interacting with the child in time-out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he talked while in the green chair, his time requirement started from the beginning again.  In practice this meant that he would get a little more than a minute, because after flipping the egg timer back, I had to wait for the sand to run back to the starting point before saying, &quot;begin.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he got out of the green chair prematurely, he had to begin again from the beginning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I made sure my son understood what he was in time-out for (if I thought there was any doubt) -- but not until the prescribed time was up.  This was not usually necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to avoid a lecture, and just move on with life when the time had been served.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nowadays I don't give many time outs, and when I give them, it's usually for 10 or 20 seconds, because that's generally enough time for him to get himself together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I found out about the TS, over those first few months I had to sort through my set of behavior expectations and pick a few to continue to enforce.  For example, I no longer put my son in the green chair for saying, for example, &quot;You stupe&quot; or &quot;Shit shit shit shit shit.&quot;  Those are tics, which he can't control.  But I will still say, if he's balking at putting away the dishes, &quot;You can put away the dishes now, or you can sit in the green chair and THEN put away the dishes.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I rarely use the green chair nowadays, and when I use it, I usually keep it extremely short -- sometimes 10 seconds, sometimes 20, sometimes 30.  I think the longest I've given in the last 12 months has been five minutes -- that was a special case.  (I think I needed a few minutes to calm down, or something.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone has their own internal clock.  I think you have to figure out how long of a time-out is right for each child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My older son is usually away at college now, but when he was in high school, I sometimes had to send him to a time-out around the corner from the kitchen, in the entry-way, where we put our coats on hooks.  He could hear family life going on without him, but we couldn't see him.  If I had him do his time-out at the edge of the kitchen, like the younger one did, he would make provocative faces, when I wasn't looking, and set the younger one off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older one's time-outs were usually at least five minutes.  I didn't time them.  I just went over to the entryway to review expectations and release him when I remembered.  (He wasn't allowed to release himself from time-out.  I had to review expectations because I didn't want a repeat performance of what had gotten him into time-out.  Most of the time-outs were for provoking his younger brother, which he was able to do in a variety of creative ways.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nowadays, when my younger one (the one with TS) is really out of control, I focus mainly on helping him slow down his breathing.  Then when things have calmed down, we can talk about what happened.  If he said something that offended me, or if he threw something, I give him an I-message, for example, &quot;When you say 'you stupe' in this sort of context, it sounds like an insult, more than like a plain tic, and I feel insulted.&quot;  Then he apologizes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I need my son to hand over something like a toy that's interfering with getting ready for bed, I'll say, &quot;I'm going to count to 3 and then I'm taking the toy.&quot;  After I say that, I hold out my hand.  This gives him the opportunity to be in control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I say, &quot;Okay, what you need to do before we do (some fun thing) is get into pajamas and practice piano.  Which do you want to do first?&quot;  If there's no answer, I say, &quot;I'm going to count to three, and then I'm going to decide for you.  One... two... three.  Piano.&quot;  (That's if he doesn't decide for himself before I get to 3.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to be pretty consistent with my counting speed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T15:30:37.277" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T15:30:37.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2015-04-17T11:03:08.777" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe you could call 'Mr. Joe', gramps. It was just an idea but yeah. I agree with Kevin in saying that as long as the kids and 'Mr. Joe are fine with it, then you two (you and your mother) are worrying over nothing. You should also ask your kids about this and then contemplate about a few that you think are just right. Well that's my thought but it really is up to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14740" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T11:03:08.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11800" CreationDate="2015-04-17T11:07:50.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always assumed these types of preferences were purely due to social conditioning. However from my own observation of my children (a boy and a girl, not twins) there does seem to be some distinct differences in the types of toys they've always preferred. Our daughter has always shown a strong preference for soft toys, and our son has always preferred hard/mechanical toys. We actually tried to interest him in a soft toy, simply because we thought it may help him sleep more peacefully. However he has just never been interested. His grandmother even bought him a soft car, but that didn't interest him either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I now suspect it has nothing to do with the type of toy, but rather the particular tactile feeling that they show a preference for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't observed there to be a difference in nurturing tendencies. Both of my children readily pretend their toys are their babies that require nurturing. It's quit delightful to observe my son gently cradling his toy Lightning McQueen car in his arms and rocking it to sleep :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, both of my children equally enjoy playing with balls. Interestingly my son developed his throwing skills much earlier, but my daughter was always better at catching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T11:07:50.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19589" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-04-17T14:05:41.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This tag can be used for questions related to the grandparenting role in particular. Such questions may be asked from either the grandparents' perspective or the parents' perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-17T14:05:41.290" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T14:05:41.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19590" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-04-17T14:05:41.290" Score="0" Body="Questions related to the role of grandparents in a child's development." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-05-03T06:06:15.013" LastActivityDate="2018-05-03T06:06:15.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19522" CreationDate="2015-04-17T14:23:41.437" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you have enough information.  I suggest bringing it up during a quiet time -- after reading a bedtime story always worked well for me -- and ask her about it.  &quot;Honey, I notice that...&quot;  Then listen and &lt;em&gt;empathize&lt;/em&gt; with her.  One you fully understand and have shown her that you fully understand, then you can talk about how to make things better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend Stephen Covey's 4th &quot;habit&quot;: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood.  It's been a godsend for me when talking about sensitive issues with my kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2015-04-17T16:37:06.730" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T16:37:06.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8872" CreationDate="2015-04-17T17:56:23.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Recent studies&lt;/a&gt; have suggested that knowing a lot about their family history --both good and bad --increases a child's resilience and ability to deal with difficult situations.  The reason, perhaps, is it gives them some context for the events of their own lives.  Given that, I would tell your child some age-appropriate version of the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since reading that study, I've tried to tell my kids some story about personal or family history every evening.  It's often led to some difficult or uncomfortable lines of questioning, but ultimately I think it has been positive --and it's something they really like and respond well to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T17:56:23.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19574" CreationDate="2015-04-17T19:17:58.073" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The strategy we used with my son when he was smaller was to do a two-stage bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, we'd start off with a small amount of water that was very soapy, and use that to scrub his genitals and butt (in that order) with a small washcloth. The soap was in the water, not the rag. I can't say we had any issue with other crevices or rolls, though. Everything else was accessible while holding him upright/sitting. After scrubbing, we'd drain the water and rinse him off with some plain, warm water, usually by filling up a bath cup and pouring it over him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, we'd fill the tub back up, but this time to a normal &quot;full&quot; amount and without the soap. We used a baby tub inside our normal tub, so it was a very quick process. After that, we'd have a normal &quot;bath time&quot; that was primarily play/interaction with some gentle cleansing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son did (and still does) love to play with the water coming straight from the faucet, which kept him entertained during that brief lull. When he was tiny, and couldn't sit up by himself, he'd kick at the stream with a big grin on his face. &#xA;(While doing this, I always kept my hand directly underneath the faucet. 1) It let me make sure a safe, comfortable temperature of water was coming out. 2) It spread out the water more gently and evenly than the faucet would do naturally.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T19:17:58.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-17T19:46:00.323" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know, the other day I was talking with my wife about this after we eat in a restaurant and walked across a bar. Currently, we are living in an area where we don't have family and no close friends. And I don't really like the idea to leave my child with a babysitter because I consider she is still too young for a babysitter (our baby is 2 months old). And well, we were thinking about going to this bar with our baby girl. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the point is that here I present you a couple of reasons why we are considering, and consequently you can't know what are the reasons behind her decision to go to a bar with a baby. Yeah, probably in my case, if we would live in an area where we have family, I would ask them to take care of my baby for a couple of hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this pretty usual?, sincerely, no, I hadn't seen too much... Is safe for the baby? I would say yes if the bar is like you described, babies at that age tend to sleep a lot especially when they go out... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14302" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T19:46:00.323" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19598" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-17T21:42:39.793" Score="3" ViewCount="7704" Body="&lt;p&gt;When ob-gyn performs US and says &quot;Your pregnancy is of 6 weeks&quot; what does it mean:  (1) six weeks since last menses or from actual conception date?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is related to some interesting story: the husband was abroad at the time of the calculated &quot;last menses&quot; (woman has POS with menses 2 times per year), so if he did not know the answer to this question he could think that he is not an actual father of the baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, the women and her husband have visited ob-gyn at the exact date of calculated last menses and the doctor did not see any signs of ovulation (or was mistaken because of POS). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, could you clarify (2) if the doctor says &quot;the calculated date of your menses is...let's say 1 of April&quot; does it mean that the conception was around 14 of April or around that date?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6830" LastActivityDate="2016-06-17T03:12:58.357" Title="Actual date of conception" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19598" CreationDate="2015-04-17T22:51:49.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The pregnancy is usually calculated from the start of the last period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-2-weeks_6000.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;babycenter.com&lt;/a&gt;'s page on 2 weeks pregnancy: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your last period started 12 to 16 days ago, so you're probably ovulating now or will be soon. Strange as it may seem, your healthcare provider calculates your due date (and your baby's gestational age) starting from the first day of your last menstrual period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that some women have cycles longer than 28 days, and some women doesn't ovulate right in the center of their cycle (Using an ovulation kit, I determined my ovulation is much closer to 3 weeks into a 4 week cycle). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most healthcare providers, even if you know these detail, the 'start day of last period' is how they calculate, and information on what happens at different stages of the pregnancy uses this as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-04-17T22:51:49.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19598" CreationDate="2015-04-18T00:41:33.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The Estimated Date of Confinement (EDC) or due date (EDD) is usually calculated from the date of the last menstrual period (LMP). With someone who has irregular periods or doesn't know the date of her LMP, it's a challenge to determine when conception occurred. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;if the doctor says &quot;the calculated date of your menses is...let's say 1 of April&quot;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctor doesn't calculate the date of the last menstrual period. The doctor doesn't need that particular piece of information if it's not available. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that case, the treating physician must obtain what's referred to as an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.advancedwomensimaging.com.au/first-trimester-dating-ultrasound&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;ultrasound for dates&quot;&lt;/a&gt;. This is important mostly to know not how the baby is doing - that's available on a regular ultrasound - but for exactly how old the baby is, because towards the end of the pregnancy, the physician needs to do special tests if the pregnancy is not progressing as it should. To know what should be happening, we need to know how old the fetus is exactly. Then the doctor will give the patient her estimated due date (EDD), not the estimated date of her last period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, the doctor doesn't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to estimate LMP, only EDD, so he/she will say, &quot;Your baby's due date is (date based on fetal age)&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Confirming the correct dates of your pregnancy. Some women are uncertain of their last menstrual period (LMP) or have irregular menstrual cycles, making it difficult for their doctor to correctly estimate when the baby is due. Establishing accurate dates can be important, especially if there are concerns about your baby later in the pregnancy (for example, if the baby is not growing well). An ultrasound in the first trimester can give an accurate estimated date of confinement (EDC) to within 3-5 days. Generally speaking, the earlier in your pregnancy the ultrasound is performed, the more accurate it will be at estimating your baby’s due date (technical factors such as the quality of the ultrasound image and the expertise of the sonographer will affect this accuracy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if a baby is not born by it's due date, the physician must start ordering non-stress tests. Since it's actually more dangerous for the baby to be born late, the physician must consider inducing labor, something that isn't in anyone's best interests if it's not necessary. So, the ultrasound for dates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The link on the bottom of this post discusses hoe the estimated due date (EDD) is calculated. An excerpt:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Determining the first day of the LMP traditionally is the first step in establishing the EDD. By convention, the EDD is 280 days after the first day of the LMP. Because this practice assumes a regular menstrual cycle of 28 days, with ovulation occurring on the 14th day after the beginning of the menstrual cycle, this practice does not account for inaccurate recall of the LMP, irregularities in cycle length, or variability in the timing of ovulation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is question of paternity, there are tests for that. But it doesn't matter if the doctor picked up signs of ovuation. What matters is if the man and woman had sex and made a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.acog.org/Resources-And-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Obstetric-Practice/Method-for-Estimating-Due-Date&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Method for Estimating Due Date&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-18T00:48:09.730" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T00:48:09.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19602" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-18T01:24:21.793" Score="5" ViewCount="8078" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a three year old with my ex. When we separated he moved back in with his mom ( he didn't have a job, bad credit, etc... I know, I was an idiot ). These issues were a big part of our separation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, he now says he cannot bring the child to his moms' because she &quot;won't let him&quot;. He sometimes pays a small amount of child support from his newly acquired part time job. This is the other reason he is unable to see her. Because he's working. Most parents work, I don't really see this as a valid reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since his mother wont allow her there, he says he can only see his daughter by coming to our home. We tried this a few times, but it always resulted in him putting the moves on me and basically just causing more tension. So I said he would no longer be able to stay here to see her. If he wanted to see her, he could pick her up and take her with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So now he just doesn't really see her. At first I was very encouraging to him and offered to and did drive him to work as this allowed an opportunity for them to see each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He rarely calls to talk her, we always call him. Hes seen her for a couple of hours maybe in the past three weeks. I always thought they were very close, but he's making very little effort. I find myself listing her virtues on the phone with him like I'm trying to convince him of the merits of being involved with her. He says he wants to see her, but is not actually doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she asks less and less about her dad. The past few times that she dId  see him she was upset because she couldn't go with him and it turned into does my daddy love me? Why can't I see him etc...  It obvious to me that it was very challenging for her. After a couple of days she settled back down and is happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I am now beginning to think it may be better if she doesn't see him at all. Less stressful and confusing for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I obligated as a parent to try to foster a relationship between the two of them? If so, to what degree? Maybe she's just better off without the uncertainty. I would not hinder him from seeing her, but I am beginning to be reminded of &quot; you can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14752" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2017-03-17T09:43:43.023" LastActivityDate="2023-03-22T07:27:44.827" Title="Dad makes little effort to see his daughter - to what degree should I encourage contact?" Tags="|pre-schooler|separation|custody|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19473" CreationDate="2015-04-18T04:44:51.670" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;All children experience some degree of separation anxiety.  It can come in different shapes, forms and intensities at different times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;play peekaboo, hide and seek, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;prepare the child for the separations.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;pick a day (once a week or once a month) for a special father - son outing or project.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;model a better way of expressing the feelings, such as, when the father comes back, say, &quot;We missed you!  We were sad!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;don't sweep the child's feelings under the rug.  That can backfire, and get you an even greater intensity of feeling.  Remember that everyone is entitled to experience whatever feelings they have.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;help the child work on expressing feelings with expressive words.  Lots of feelings -- not just panic about father leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forgive me if the above are already obvious!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are screening sheets your doctor can give you that can help evaluate your child's general mental health, to see if there's more going on than just the tearful good-byes.  It might also be possible to do some screening at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T04:44:51.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18782" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:05:56.467" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know he knows how to use the Tor browser (like me) to hide himself online. I am worried what he might find there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about what he will find on the internet, then I recommend providing some internet restrictions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The computer should be in a common room such as the living room, that people are walking through from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With so many images available on the internet, it frequently happens that a child starts exploring out of curiosity, and then quickly gets somewhere that s/he's not ready to handle yet (or may never be ready to handle).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:05:56.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19463" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:20:09.743" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I looked at the other questions you've asked.  Looking at the big picture, I think the most important thing for you to know is that with multiples, there is a greater risk of losing the pregnancy or of having significantly premature babies.  I recommend the following: if twins happen along, do the best you can -- it can be stressful; but don't go looking for them.  Perhaps you could have a homemade baby and adopt a baby or small child if you want to speed things up a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:20:09.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19496" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:28:27.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You would probably not have done things this way with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're in a difficult situation, though, because (I assume) you're not one of the primary caregivers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best you can do is maintain open lines of communication with the parents, and build a strong relationship with your granddaughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:28:27.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19513" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:32:38.280" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If, for some reason, it is absolutely necessary for her to remain there, then I would start spacing the phone calls out gradually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, you would let her decide whether she wants to try to stick it out or come back home.  Perhaps she will be more ready a year from now, or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do decide to allow her to come home, and you want to give it another try later on, the easiest way is for her to go with a friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:32:38.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19602" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:34:43.343" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your maturity, sensitivity and common sense are very evident, and your daughter is fortunate to have such a giving and loving mom. Kudos to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're absolutely right: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. So, what to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Legally, you can't just decide to end his visitation. To do that, you have to go to court and get a ruling to deny him visitation rights, regardless of what you two might have agreed to outside of the courts (it sounds like you haven't been there yet.) Such rulings are hard to get from a court unless it can be shown that his actions are harmful to her. But just to establish a groundwork here, you should have a legal arrangement as the sole custodian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have deep wisdom here (I hope someone else does); the most important thing is your daughter's well being. Please help her to understand that she is wonderful and much loved by you, and that it's not her fault her father doesn't come by. This needs to be done constantly and convincingly for years: she is not the cause for his absence. You may need help with the narrative; it's painful for both of you to have any real discussion about why her father doesn't see her, but it has to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach her &quot;feeling words&quot; so that you can ask her to talk to you about her feelings, and validate them. If she can put her feelings into words, it might help; and you can let her know it's ok to feel the way she does, and that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; accept her. You might see if there's a single mom's group run by a therapist, or see a social worker about talking with a therapist who specializes in this field so you can get some help and support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also ok for her to write letters to or call her father when she feels sad. Then return to the normal and fun activities and life the two of you share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you know why he doesn't want to see her? (Let him use his words; the truth is better than a lie.) Maybe he feels incompetent as a dad. That could be fixed with parenting classes. Do you believe what he says about his mom? I (personally) would contact her to see if she wants to be part of her granddaughter's life and see if what he says is true; who knows? She might be able to help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep encouraging the father to meet up with you both - at a park or a restaurant or the zoo - keep communications open. You don't know if he will feel differently later. I'm sure you've already tried to motivate him, but don't stop. It's important that your daughter not see you as a barrier to his visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a terribly sad situation, but you don't have to make these decisions without help. Good luck to you all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:34:43.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19497" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:37:24.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mr Rogers taught children in his television programs that they do not have to share.  In other words, children should not be forced to share something that they prefer to keep private.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it would be helpful for you if, in your own internal thinking about your daughter's reading, you concentrated on feeling joyful for your daughter about her discovery of reading, and enjoyment of reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Then, after a few months, when you are good and over your urge to push her to do something she's not comfortable with, try some simple reader's theater with her -- FOR FUN.  You each take one or more roles.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:37:24.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5480" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:39:43.577" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If possible, decrease the formula as much as possible.  You can pump or express in between feedings to induce a greater milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can make prune tea and give her a little bit every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:39:43.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19557" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:47:24.743" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The authors of the book you are reading have an earlier book that is very interesting.  It is the story of their discovery of Haim Ginott's ideas, and of their attempts (not always successful) to apply these ideas in their own family situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a fun idea.  Try a charades or pantomime approach.  Whatever you need to convey to them, convey it to them through nonverbal means.  When you're done with the disciplining, you can talk again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once in a blue moon, I suppose, this might not be enough.  In that case, write down what still needs to be communicated.  By hand.  You'll run out of steam quicker that way than if you were yakking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or what about singing?  My husband and I went through an interesting phase in which we had all our &quot;vigorous discussions&quot; entirely to the tune of &quot;Streets of Laredo.&quot;  We had to do this for a number of months at some point because Baby #2 got very unquiet and couldn't nurse, settle or sleep when we were carrying out any sort of vociferous discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kind of miss it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:47:24.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19514" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:58:01.287" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'd like to help her in dealing with her giftedness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can relate.  As you discovered, as a child,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;a little boredom in school won't kill anyone&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;is not true.  Being chronically bored in school can be &lt;em&gt;excruciating&lt;/em&gt;, and the feeling of isolation can be permanently damaging -- hence, the tremendous anxiety you feel, and the loving desire you have to help her avoid suffering the way you did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what I did: I backed off from teaching academic stuff, and focused on helping my children grow in ways that would not exacerbate the problem.  So, my children are trilingual (one language with Mama, one with Papa, and English at school).  They can read and write in their two home languages.  We did lots of fun things with music and dance, and at 3 1/2, started Suzuki.  I took them to puppet shows, children's theater, concerts of all kinds.  You can also safely do science with her, because chances are, she won't be doing much science in her early years in school!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless, the boredom will hit her in school sooner or later.  When that happens, please give the teacher some alternate assignments for your daughter to do when she has finished the stupid worksheets.  As long as you do the legwork, and don't ask the teacher to go out and look for more challenging work for your daughter, this should work fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please try to find a nice play group, and help your daughter develop her social side at this time.  Her pleasure in interacting with peers will be a strength that will help her face the challenges to come.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T05:58:01.287" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19617" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-18T05:58:35.387" Score="2" ViewCount="777" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14-month-old son has always had difficulty falling asleep. He has mild to severe eczema. He sleeps with us and we usually pat or rock him to sleep. Every night he cries for at least 5 mins before he stops fighting and drifts off to sleep. We have to hold him firm for him to finally settle and sleep. If we try and let him be (still present in the room), he rolls around the bed lying down and waking up - but ends up crying again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does get up once or more on some days - but he also sleeps till the morning on some days. I would really like not to have to fight him every night on this. I don't mind patting or rocking longer as long as he doesn't seem so distressed with the idea of sleeping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I get him to wind down slowly and be comfortable with the idea of going to bed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14754" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-23T15:21:52.337" LastActivityDate="2019-04-23T15:21:52.337" Title="How to make my 14-month-old, who cries everyday at night even when being held, become comfortable with going to bed?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|crying|bedtime|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2015-04-18T06:12:32.597" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I think my mom wants to change the name in order to make Mr. Joe feel like he is more important in the kids life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest a three-way conversation.  Mr. Joe may be able to get through to your mother more easily than you can.  Or, Mr. Joe may have a bright idea that you haven't thought of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an idea: look at some translations of Grandfather to other languages.  First, pick out the ones you feel you could live with.  Send that list to Mr. Joe.  Then give his short list to your kids to choose from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's another idea: &quot;Grand-Joe.&quot;  Example: &quot;Kids, time to get ready to go, your Grand-Joe will be here soon to take you fishing&quot; or whatever they have planned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I applaud your stubbornness (consistency, honesty).  So many people have tried to talk you into plain old Joe, with no title, or Grandpa or Granddad, which you just aren't comfortable with.  Good for you for knowing yourself, and standing firm in the strong tide on this page.  Titles are a geographical and cultural thing.  Stay true to yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T06:12:32.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19522" CreationDate="2015-04-18T06:21:53.840" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;All children experience some degree of separation anxiety. It can come in different shapes, forms and intensities at different times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;play peekaboo, hide and seek, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;prepare the child for the separations.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;pick a day (once a week or once a month) for a special father - daughter outing or project.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;model a better way of expressing the feelings, such as, when the father comes home in the evening, say, &quot;We missed you! We were sad!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;don't sweep the child's feelings under the rug. That can backfire, and get you an even greater intensity of feeling. Remember&#xA;that everyone is entitled to experience whatever feelings they have.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;help the child work on expressing feelings with expressive words. A variety of feelings -- not just panic about father leaving.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forgive me if the above are already obvious!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are screening sheets your doctor can give you that can help evaluate your child's general mental health, to see if there's more going on than just the tearful good-byes. It might also be possible to do some screening at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, I suggest you do some observing of your child in school.  This can really help you figure things out when there's something about your child's behavior that you don't understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T06:21:53.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19602" CreationDate="2015-04-18T06:51:05.127" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I only met my father a handful of times, and then he died when I was 14.  I admire your efforts to enable your daughter and her father to have a direct relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, the more you push someone, the more they resist.  Try taking a break from &quot;listing her virtues on the phone with him like you're trying to convince him of the merits of being involved with her.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is probably a good self-protection mechanism on your daughter's part, that she is less interested in him now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, they would see each other with enough frequency that he wouldn't feel like a total stranger to her (which is how it felt to me the few times I saw my father).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with @anongoodnurse that the visits should be in a public place.  Or, when he comes to your place to visit her, take that opportunity to go get some groceries, go to a coffee shop and read a book, go for a walk, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your daughter's sake, please set aside your own feelings of frustration with this man, and limit yourself to providing whatever cooperation is needed when he feels ready to see her (as long as she does not find the relationship more painful than it is worth).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to take an 'all or nothing' position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your role in this is difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So is his.  It may take some getting used to for him to separate out his relationship with her from his former relationship with you.  It can be confusing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter feels hurt when she doesn't see him for several weeks or months, tell her that her father is finding life difficult, and is doing the best he can to get himself organized to be able to spend some time with her.  We don't want her blaming herself, or taking it personally!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter doesn't bring him up, that's okay.  But I would say, check in with him about once a month, on your own time, to keep the lines of communication open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T06:51:05.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19598" CreationDate="2015-04-18T07:44:48.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since in the current answers there is no information about normal pregnancy duration I've decided to add my own answer for the sake of clarity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normal pregnancy usually lasts 266 days which is exactly 38 weeks. It means the baby spends in the uterus 38 weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The exact day of conception is known only in the case of artificial fertilization (i.e. IVF in vitro fertilization). Even if the couple had 1 intercourse and they know exact day of ovulation it does not mean that the conception day is equal to the day of intercourse or the date of ovulation: the actual time of meeting of the spermatozoid and the egg is later than these points and can be at the same day as well as 1-3-5 days later. So, IVF is the only case when the exact conception time can be known with absolute precise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of the mentioned unpredictability, it is accepted to calculate the dates related to a pregnancy based on the date of the last menstruation. This is why most people think that normal pregnancy lasts 40 weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ironically speaking, the mentioned explanation &quot;means&quot; that at the time of an ovulation a woman is already 2 weeks &quot;pregnant&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this date is unknown, the US can help to calculate this date in order to provide others points (date of delivery etc). Thus, when ob-gyn says &quot;X weeks pregnancy&quot; it means &quot;the duration is based on the last menses date which in turn was calculated by the formula inside the US machine - this formula adds 14 days to the calculated actual duration of pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back to question, it is clear that the couple should calculate the conception date adding (around) 14 days to the calculated last menses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6830" LastEditorUserId="6830" LastEditDate="2015-04-18T10:29:52.003" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T10:29:52.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19622" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-18T10:54:46.797" Score="4" ViewCount="615" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a set of twins.. A boy and girl who are 5 years old. I love them both equally and want to have some one one time with each of them.. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son and I go for a haircut every month (or so), and we then do a little bit of shopping.   It is a wonderful day out, that my daughter can't come on, because she doesn't get her hair cut with daddy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the thing is: I also really want a day with my daughter.  Something that wouldn't make sense for my boy to come to. It has to be something she will buy as &quot;real&quot;, and something I'd have to do about once a month (or so). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;This is different from the duplicate in that it cannot be games or things that a boy would do.  It has to be something that I could say &quot;this is a daddy - katie (fake name)&quot; thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have even the slightest bit of trouble finding something to do with the pair. Or even one on one. But consistently with one and never the other... that one is beyond my imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14660" LastEditorUserId="14779" LastEditDate="2015-04-20T21:08:57.183" LastActivityDate="2015-04-20T21:08:57.183" Title="Suggestions for a father daughter activity that explains me omitting my son" Tags="|parents|relationships|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="12" ClosedDate="2015-04-21T09:40:51.240" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12342" CreationDate="2015-04-18T11:38:51.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My only suggestion is establish a routine.. Get the kids in bed at the same time every single day.. &#xA;I started reading to my kids after work and before their bed time. They get a solid 15min (or more) then I walk em through brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed. I have em until they are all in their Pj's and then mom and me put em in bed together..&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Now the key here isn't so much that I help or that I &quot;take over&quot;.  It's that it's the same time every day.  Them being in bed every day at the same time makes things better for all of us.. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short answer.. get them in a patter.  It is a huge relief to have a set schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14660" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T11:38:51.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19622" CreationDate="2015-04-18T16:12:20.913" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;be explicit about how much you enjoy your time with him, and explain that it's her turn now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like that idea, but I can sympathize with your dilemma, so here's an idea -- how about if you take her to the &quot;beauty parlor&quot; once a month.  Now, there's nothing to say you have to have an appointment at the hair salon that often.  (Although you can certainly take your daughter for a visit to the salon without any hair cutting taking place -- she could just have her hair braided, for example.)  You might just go in and look around, say hello to the friendlier of the people who work there, visit their bathroom, and stop at a playground on the way home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might also help if your son had some other special activity happening at the same time -- perhaps an outing or cooking project with your spouse, or a playdate at a friend's house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've established the routine, hopefully you'll get less questions and push-back.  What might help with this is the spin you give the monthly outings with your son.  Put a calendar on the wall in the kitchen, for example (if you don't already have one there), and write in &quot;Daddy Simon Day&quot; on the haircut days, and &quot;Daddy Katie Day&quot; on the Katie days.  Also, make sure your son understands how much you enjoy BOTH types of outings -- threesome outings, and one-on-one outings.  Hopefully this will help him empathize with his sister on the days it's her turn to have you all to herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, even though I have two boys, and they're eight years apart, I have faced similar problems!  It does require a special sort of tact (gentle white lies, even).  So, next time you're sitting on a bench at a playground chatting with other parents of two or more, you can ask them how they negotiate one-on-one time, to collect other ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T16:12:20.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19356" CreationDate="2015-04-18T18:01:44.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you could negotiate an agreement with your wife, that limits the aspects of her religious indoctrination that you find the most damaging.  Perhaps your negotiated solution would involve compromising on a choice of religious institution.  (Some couples in your situation are able to meet halfway in a Quaker meeting house, a humanistic Judaism group, or a Unitarian church.)  Perhaps it would involve an alternation of how your daughter spends her Sundays.  Perhaps it would involve setting some limits on certain expressions of religious rituals around the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to begin the conversation with your partner by acknowledging that this is a difficult topic to talk about, and that you probably won't get everything settled all at once; and that you are trying hard to be tolerant of the differences in your belief systems, because the last thing you want is for her to feel any pressure to change her beliefs (I assume you have suffered at the hands of people who tried to convert you -- as I have).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The situation I've been in that was somewhat akin to yours was that one of my children went to part-time family daycare, starting when he was a few months old, with a warm, wonderful woman, who believed so strongly in her religious faith that to her, not providing some religious indoctrination to the children in her care would have been akin to feeding them pig slop at lunchtime.  She was older than me, but shared my Latin American heritage (we were both in the U.S.), which made it harder for me to assert myself.  Actually, I was not able to negotiate anything with her.  So, I had to have short chats with my son from time to time in which I told him that Doña L. had some, in my opinion, weird religious beliefs, which meant a lot to her, even though they struck me as ridiculous (and I explained why); but even if he thought some things about her religion were weird, or ridiculous, or gruesome, it was important not to &lt;em&gt;tell&lt;/em&gt; her she was wrong, because then she would feel offended, and we didn't want that, because we loved her.  Also, I told him that when he became a teenager, he was welcome to choose a religion if he wanted to, for example (I named about five wildly different religions at this point).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband has some tiny vestiges of the religion he was raised in.  Based on that experience, and other more major cultural differences, I can say that humor is going to be the most important tool in your toolbox over the years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T18:01:44.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="761" CreationDate="2015-04-18T18:47:40.280" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take them out of that situation. It sounds like the child is being abused and you need to protect them. They are too young to protect themselves. Remove the child from their cousins and anyone else that may abuse them. Then when the child is old enough put them in a self defense course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not the child's fault they are being abused, it is not their responsibility to protect themselves yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14759" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-18T22:39:15.623" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T22:39:15.623" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19622" CreationDate="2015-04-18T19:37:27.880" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I like is that you are doing something that has to be done anyway and make it into a &quot;special&quot; daddy-son thing. Just add a little twist to make it special. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So logically, a special daddy-daughter thing should -if I read your question correctly - follow the same pattern, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what else do you do about once a month? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Going to the car wash or check oil and tire pressure? (My favourite because it takes about the same amount of time as getting a haircut.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do some bulk shopping?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Home maintenance or repairs? Combined with a trip to the hardware store?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea that combines work and play:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Volunteer. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Pick something that you are good at and take her with you. Choose something that she might enjoy, too, then reward yourselves like your son and you do after the haircut.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T19:37:27.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19622" CreationDate="2015-04-18T23:40:02.410" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My initial reaction was to wonder whether you could work out a way to bring your daughter along on the haircut outing, perhaps have her reading or chatting in a chair while she waits. However, not only patience a challenge for some five year olds, I think it is valuable to have &quot;alone time&quot; with each child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son enjoys his special Daddy outing, your daughter will doubtless enjoy it just as much. I don't have twins, but each of my children likes going on errands with me without the others, whether we're going on a special &lt;em&gt;Just For Them&lt;/em&gt; destination or to pick up a loaf of bread for dinner. The particular advantage of an &lt;em&gt;outing&lt;/em&gt; for an activity is that the siblings are far removed and can’t possibly interrupt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned that you both get a haircut and do some shopping. Consider saving some of those shopping errands for a different weekend, and take your daughter on those. If your son feels hurt that he is left home, explain that you really enjoyed spending a day with him last week and it's Katie's turn to run errands this weekend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also target the shopping in each case -- include a small useful item (book, socks, whatever) that they need. Note that &lt;em&gt;needing&lt;/em&gt; that item is important: I am not suggesting that you buy their time and love. Every child needs stuff occasionally, and having a dedicated outing that focuses on the kid's input gives you both quality together time, while helping them feel confident in their opinion and its value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your current haircut outings already accomplish this: your son needs to buy a service, so you take him along. Look for a similar opportunity the next time your daughter needs a pair of socks, or is buying a present for a friend’s party, or wants a particular snack -- anything her brother doesn’t really have interest in. For example, my son is the only one in the house besides me who likes a particular kind of dried fruit, and so that’s the outing that he and I tend to take together :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-04-18T23:40:02.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19632" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-19T03:41:28.460" Score="3" ViewCount="3466" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it the 6 year-old's responsibility to remember their coat before going to school, or is their parent's responsibility?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14762" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2015-04-19T20:49:31.033" LastActivityDate="2019-01-03T00:00:59.593" Title="Is it a parent's responsibility to remember their 6 year-old child's coat as they leave their home to go to school?" Tags="|primary-schooler|life-skills|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19632" CreationDate="2015-04-19T06:19:31.693" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer will depend on a lot on all parties involved and your expectations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child: &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is your child &lt;em&gt;able to remember&lt;/em&gt; to take the coat? And bring it back home? &lt;br&gt;&#xA;I have two children that were both raised to be independent and responsible - Yet, my 9 yo still struggles to remember basic things (there is a reason he owns 4 pairs of gloves...) and we had days he would have left for school in his pajama shirt if I hadn't stopped him. He &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; the occasional reminders. My 6 yo might ask &lt;em&gt;which&lt;/em&gt; coat, but that's it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your parenting style: &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Are you more of a &quot;helicopter parent&quot; or a &quot;hands-off parent&quot;?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I've met parents who brought their 16 yo the forgotten lunch parcel to school - although we had a perfectly fine cafeteria. Incidentally, this is the same mother who now &quot;helps&quot; said daughter (38, stay at home mom) to raise her child and run the household. My own approach was always to let the child try for himself first, only interfere when said child asks for help or to prevent serious accidents. So ask youself, where you will draw the line.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your tolerance for failure and the real risks involved:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;With our son, we've come to expect a certain &quot;loss rate&quot; and we plan and budget accordingly. And if he forgets his snack or his homework, he has to deal with the consequences. Honestly, what will happen? He won't starve until lunchtime and yes, he might have to do some extra homework - neither will kill him. As far as the coat in question: Will your child experience discomfort (cool day) or lasting effects (frosty day)?  Then decide.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conclusion: &lt;br&gt;&#xA;Consider where you and your child are in this spectrum, then decide. You know your child better than we do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-04-19T09:45:16.170" LastActivityDate="2015-04-19T09:45:16.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19635" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19636" CreationDate="2015-04-19T07:18:55.373" Score="3" ViewCount="375" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our youngest eats normally at meals, but when she gets sweets she wolfs them down. Her big sister enjoys them more, saving some for later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's a good to be able to restrain yourself, so I would like her to eat slower and enjoy the sweets more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember explaining to big sis how she should let chocolate or candies melt in her mouth for maximum enjoyment and that worked great, but our youngest doesn't want to do that. I wonder if this is more of a personality trait than a learned behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;: ...and today she actually ate her cashews slower than her sister. I suppose time will indeed fix this. Thanks all for the comments and studies!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1633" LastEditorUserId="1633" LastEditDate="2015-04-20T20:05:27.627" LastActivityDate="2015-04-20T20:05:27.627" Title="Toddler is a real glutton with sweets" Tags="|teaching|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19635" CreationDate="2015-04-19T11:35:28.650" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As CreationEdge commented, this is perfectly normal. In fact studies have been done where children were presented with a sweet and told that if they waited without eating it they could have more sweets later. Under a certain age they didn't wait - immediate gratification was the driver. Above that age, they could understand patience, delayed reward etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-04-19T14:27:04.187" LastActivityDate="2015-04-19T14:27:04.187" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19632" CreationDate="2015-04-19T13:44:17.113" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's the parent's responsibility to set up the environment to encourage success. In the specific case of remembering to wear a coat on cold days this may mean, for example, keeping coats on hooks by the door instead of hung up in a closet with a door that's kept shut. It may mean saying &quot;coat!&quot; as the child opens the doorknob to leave. It may mean inventing a &quot;ready to go&quot; song that the child and parents sing before going out the door. (I put things I don't want to forget into my shoe the day before, or use magnets to affix a note that covers the doorknob so I can't leave without interacting with the note. There is nothing wrong with using such approaches to help a child do what needs to be done.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody would argue that a newborn should remember to put on their coat. And nobody would argue that a 35 year old who lives away from their parents should somehow blame their parents should they find themselves at work without a coat. So clearly there is a point in a child's life where the parent is totally responsible, and point where the child is totally responsible, and a point in between where they share that responsibility. If your question is, &quot;is age 6 the point where it's totally the child's responsibility?&quot; then the only possible answer is &quot;that depends on the child, and the consequences for forgetting.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where I live, it's coldest in the mornings when children leave for school (about 8:30 am) and warms up as the day goes on. If a child is cold when they first get out the door, they can loop back inside and grab the coat. If not, then they are likely to be fine all day without it. They may feel slightly uncomfortable for a few minutes, but that is harmless and will provide good motivation for bringing a coat next time. &lt;strong&gt;This may not apply where you live.&lt;/strong&gt; Ask yourself the consequences of forgetting the coat. Will the child get frostbite or other serious damage? (I don't believe you get colds from being cold, but even if you did, a cold is not serious damage.) Will the child be forbidden to play outside at recess or lunch, and have to do something less pleasant? Will the child receive a punishment of some sort from the school that is not a logical consequence? Will the school demand that a parent deliver a coat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the consequences are mild, logical, and apply only to the child, I would probably still remind the child (making it their responsibility, but helping them with it.) If they ignored the reminder, I would let the consequences be theirs. If one day I forgot to remind them, and they later tried to say it was my fault the consequences occurred, I would refute that. &quot;It's up to you to decide about your coat&quot; I would say. I remember I had to send a written waiver with my 4 year old (which was kept on file) that said she could decide whether to put on her hat and scarf (and especially whether her scarf was to be tied over her face with just eyes peeping out) when coming home on the bus in the afternoons. She was drenched with sweat but the school's position was &quot;you send a scarf, we make them wear it.&quot; (I sent a scarf at 8:30 am because it was cold then.) So at age 4 I definitely took the position a child can decide how much outerwear to wear for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the consequences are more severe (physical damage) or you don't support them (school forbids library books to those who forget coats) or the consequences affect you too (have to go to the school to get the child or deliver a coat) then I would be less willing to let the child choose to accept those consequences. My reminders would probably be more forceful. Because we live in the country, and drive long distances in heated cars, my children didn't always want to wear their coats, boots, or snowpants. My rule was &quot;you don't have to wear it, but you have to bring it&quot; in case the car was to break down. This is a matter of life or death where I live. You don't have your coat and boots, I'm not starting the car. I would take the same approach with your 6-year old. It's up to you whether you wear it or not, but you have to take it with you and you have to bring it home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you find reminding tedious, or you keep having to go retrieve coats from the lost and found or the far end of the playground (been there!) you might consider imposing some logical consequences for that, such as extra chores to help make up for the time you spent dealing with the child's forgetfulness. But I would &lt;strong&gt;also&lt;/strong&gt; work &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; the child on learning how to remember things so that they can fully shoulder this responsibility (which remains theirs; you're just helping) sooner rather than later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-04-19T13:44:17.113" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19622" CreationDate="2015-04-19T13:50:21.807" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If such an activity existed, you would have found it by now, like you did with your son.  You don't need an excuse to spend time with your daughter one-on-one.  Just tell the other kids it's her turn, and remind them of when they had their turns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to make it elaborate, or even the same thing every time.  Just pick something she likes.  My eldest daughter likes going on drives, so yesterday I took her on some drive-through errands.  My last activity with my youngest daughter was seeing the new &lt;em&gt;Cinderella&lt;/em&gt; movie a couple weeks ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-19T13:50:21.807" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19639" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19648" CreationDate="2015-04-19T17:40:37.037" Score="6" ViewCount="300" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am asking for advice on this topic on behalf of economically disadvantages families/students I do outreach with in the USA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish to enrol my middle school/high school student in summer programs that will give them further exposure the STEM fields (or another area of their interest), but all of these programs exceed the level of financial support that I can provide as a parent; some of these programs offer financial assistance, but this is not always the case. Similarly, my child is interested in purchasing a LEGO Mindstorm/Raspberry Pi/Arduino/etc., but I do not have the funds to provide him/her with these set/supplies, nor do I have the technical know-how to help them explore such avenues of learning. How can I help my child pursue these opportunities/interests with only limited funds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14767" LastEditorUserId="14767" LastEditDate="2015-04-19T21:47:28.323" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T18:46:35.337" Title="How can I support my student's learning with limited funds?" Tags="|development|education|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19639" CreationDate="2015-04-19T23:11:29.333" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you reach out to some STEM teachers in your area.  They may know of some opportunities in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there isn't anything, then you could start an after-school club, or summer program.  You can recruit volunteers who can provide the technical guidance, and do some fundraising.  In other words, you would be in sort of a manager role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To find volunteers, one possibility would be to contact a teacher preparation program, if there is one in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also find some free online classes that are a good match with your child's interests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-19T23:11:29.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19632" CreationDate="2015-04-20T07:08:29.010" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is the child's responsibility to remember their coat. As a parent you are supposed to be teaching them to become their own people, you won't be there to watch over them forever. If you do not give children responsibility, they will never learn it. It's a complicated subject and the sooner you start, the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;However&lt;/em&gt;, it is the parent's responsibility to make the child does not come to harm. This means that if forgetting a coat means the child might get frostbite or undercooled or something like that, it's up to the parent to make sure the child still has the coat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But this should not be seen as &quot;taking responsibility for making sure the child brings a coat&quot;, it should be taking responsibility as a parent to protect the child from harm, and one of the steps of this protection should be reminding the child of their own responsibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(On the other hand, if it'll just get chilly but not dangerous, letting them go without a coat might help them learn that bringing a coat is a good idea if it's  cold out. This is also a way for them to learn responsibility.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-04-20T07:08:29.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19639" CreationDate="2015-04-20T13:48:51.133" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is certainly true that there are educational opportunities that are expensive: special programs, summer camps, supplies and equipment that you could buy, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there's a lot of educational opportunity that costs very little. One of the best ways to learn anything remains, &quot;read a book&quot;. Books are not all that expensive, and you can get many for free from a library.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is often good if reading can be supplemented by doing. But many science experiments, for example, can be done using reasonably common household items. Yes, if the child's interest is nuclear physics, you probably can't afford to buy him a nuclear reactor or a particle accelerator. But there are lots of physics experiments you can do with balls and string and springs and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I home-schooled my kids off and on and we got textbooks geared to homeschoolers that often included discussions of science experiments that could be done using fairly cheap materials. I suggest you look into books or web sites that discuss &quot;experiments you can do at home&quot;. You might look into resources for homeschoolers, but the issue is certainly not limited to homeschoolers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aparente001 mentioned holding fund-raisers. You may be able to get the kids to sell candy bars or magazine subscriptions or whatever to raise money for supplies and equipment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try asking for donations of old equipment from area businesses likely to have the sort of equipment you need. To give them a tax write-off you'd have to create a charitable organization (or join yourself to an existing one). It's a little work but, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You spoke of &quot;families&quot;, plural. If there's a group, perhaps they can share expenses. Like if one family can't afford to buy that $500 robot kit, maybe 10 families could each manage to put up $50 and then share it. You'd have to work out an arrangement that's fair to everyone, but it's likely that a lot of the equipment you would want is not the sort of thing that the child will use every waking moment for years. Often we need equipment for one lesson that lasts perhaps a few weeks, and then it sits on a shelf for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-04-20T13:48:51.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19639" CreationDate="2015-04-20T14:08:29.063" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two routes I would take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, encourage your child to earn his/her own money to buy these kits.  There are lots of ways to do that as a child, mowing lawns, babysitting, doing odd jobs, gardening, etc. Then you combine two lessons in one.  Offer to match his/her earnings, if you can do that, or some other incentive from your end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, if you have a computer then one great opportunity is learning to program, modding games, etc.  Minecraft, for example, is a very interesting game to learn to mod, both because the game itself can teach some basics such as electronic circuits, and modding has a fairly good ladder of difficulty - there are very easy mods and progressively more difficult mods.  Building a website, programming  a simple game, there are dozens of ways to learn to code - and many of them help develop parts of the brain and ways of thinking that are helpful for any STEM field.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-20T14:08:29.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19639" CreationDate="2015-04-20T17:35:49.540" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents supported my interests with very limited funds.  Yes, some items can be very expensive.  However, there are also inexpensive items that you can get a lot of use out of.  Also, there is something to be said for the challenge of using limited resources, even if you can afford better.  I still take this approach with supplies with my own children.  Some specific ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Search around for low-cost versions of your products.  For example, I just bought a couple Arduino-compatibles from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.icstation.com/icstation-atmega328-mini-compatible-arduino-p-3555.html&quot;&gt;ICStation&lt;/a&gt; for $3.99 each.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sparkfun.com/products/13252&quot;&gt;SparkFun&lt;/a&gt; has microcontrollers with built-in wifi for $6.95.  These are somewhat more difficult to use than the more expensive counterparts, but are still very flexible products you can get a lot of use out of.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put out a request on facebook looking for used equipment for your children's education.  People who can afford it upgrade their equipment, then don't know what to do with the old stuff.  Sometimes people buy kits as toys for their children who turn out not to be interested.  Sometimes it's broken, but you can combine parts from various sources.  I got two free computers this way, so my kids could each have their own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look for used equipment on eBay and craigslist.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to auctions held by the police or school districts.  They often have surplus equipment that's still perfectly good for hobby use.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the library.  They have computers available for use, and tons of books.  They often have free classes as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Salvage parts from broken or outdated equipment.  Printers, for example, usually have high-quality motors that can be used in robots.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Search pinterest for &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=science+for+kids&quot;&gt;science for kids&lt;/a&gt;.  They have a ton of ideas to do with materials you already have lying around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find a mentor.  We have well-stocked junk drawers and the knowledge to help you do more with less.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be creative.  A project blog online might call for a $30 circuit board and a $20 3D-printed part, but you can often make do with a $5 perf-board and $2 worth of polymer clay.  In fact, I usually find that more satisfying.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-20T17:35:49.540" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19617" CreationDate="2015-04-20T20:08:33.043" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have plenty of sleep problems with our son but I'm pleased to say this isn't one of them (at the moment!). We have a similar approach to you in that we don't leave him alone to go to sleep, we stay with him to avoid him getting upset and he usually goes to sleep quite easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have occassionally had difficulties like this in the past and it tends to have been because he is not tired enough. It has been worse when I've repeatedly tried to get him to sleep too soon, for example when he was smaller, if I got used to him being sleepy after a certain amount of time and didn't adjust when he could stay awake longer. Then he would get very upset if I tried to take him for his nap too early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, I would suggest to look at his schedule. If he's taking a nap too close to bedtime, then he may not feel tired when you put him to bed. It won't be much fun for him if he feels energetic and ready to play and then he gets taken to a dark room and expected to sleep. If he has a nap too close to bedtime, which can be common at this age as many babies are adjusting to one nap, then you may need to have bedtime a bit later for a while or limit the length of his nap (or possibly drop a nap completely if he's still having two).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My other suggestion is to make sure you have a nice bedtime routine, if you don't already, to let him know that it's bedtime and help him wind down for sleep. A bath, a book and possibly a bedtime drink tends to work well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, easier said than done, but try not to get upset and frustrated with him - babies pick up on their parents' moods a lot and this can upset him when he's supposed to be relaxing and that will not help him to fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-04-20T20:08:33.043" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19650" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-20T21:56:23.980" Score="4" ViewCount="9125" Body="&lt;p&gt;So my 2 year old is undeniably a Daddy's girl. She's always clingy when I'm home and only wants Daddy when Daddy is around. At bed time we have a routine that we follow before putting her down, but for some reason she will only settle with Mommy. When Mommy puts her to bed she will usually lay down and go to sleep, but if I do it, she'll be happy while I'm rocking her to sleep, but even if she's almost out when I go to lay her in bed, she'll say anything to keep me there with her, &quot;Rub my back?; Play with my hair?; Sing a song?; Kiss my Hand? Kiss my 'nother hand?&quot; And without fail, when I stop indulging her requests and leave the room, screaming and crying and out of bed she comes. Yet, if Mommy goes in right after me, she can settle her and put her down. We have a newborn, so it's a little inconvenient for poor Mommy if she has to deal with nursing and putting the toddler down at the same time, and this behaviour seems to have started since the baby, so I've been putting her down more than I used to. What am I doing wrong here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almost the exact same question as mine is asked here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7506/why-wont-my-toddler-sleep-when-her-mother-tries-to-put-her-in-bed&quot;&gt;Why won&amp;#39;t my toddler sleep when her mother tries to put her in bed?&lt;/a&gt; But the root of that problem appears to be the mother bringing the baby to bed with her. My daughter doesn't sleep in our bed, first thing she wants when she wakes up is either breakfast, or to be bottled back to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13897" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T19:23:14.567" Title="Why does my toddler cry when I try to put her down for bed, but not when my wife does it?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19639" CreationDate="2015-04-20T22:26:21.743" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid my Father told me that he would help me buy &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; I wanted as long as I saved up half of the funds first. I think this really alleviated a lot of the burden of guilt for him not buying me things I was interested in. For one, it put everything I wanted or thought I wanted into a que of, &quot;How much am I actually interested in this?&quot; If I wasn't willing to save up only half the amount, then obviously I wasn't super interested in it. It put a lot of accountability on me too, I knew I could have anything I wanted if I was willing to work for it, so I acknowledged that if I wasn't willing to work, then I was the only one I could blame for not having stuff. In many cases my Dad would even offer me jobs around the house that he'd be willing to pay me for to help me get the first half of the funds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't quite remember, but I think there may have been the stipulation that the item had to cost more than $100 before he'd give me the 50% off deal. Either way, you can really gauge your child's genuine interest in something based off of their willingness to work towards &lt;em&gt;earning&lt;/em&gt; the things that they want. If they earn it through labour, they'll appreciate it a lot more, and treat it a lot better too. But the big thing is filtering out all the, &lt;em&gt;&quot;I wants because my eyes are big, but I'll probably lose interest in it after I get it&quot;&lt;/em&gt; from the, &lt;em&gt;&quot;I wants it enough to work for it, I'll really appreciate it, and won't lose interest in it.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13897" LastEditorUserId="13897" LastEditDate="2015-04-20T22:31:29.913" LastActivityDate="2015-04-20T22:31:29.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6300" CreationDate="2015-04-20T23:57:06.100" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.boba.com/our-position-on-position&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.boba.com/our-position-on-position&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://welladjustedbabies.com/are-baby-carriers-safe/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://welladjustedbabies.com/are-baby-carriers-safe/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being in a supported upright position, as in babywearing with the baby facing the parent, is a GOOD idea for many, many reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The vestibular system gets developed by the baby responding to the parent's movements and turns; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hips are kept within their sockets; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Good for temperature regulation; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spine is not pressed flat as it would be while lying down; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Head is not flattened against any surface; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Several others. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the baby faces forward, the spine may be forced into a convex position. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lying down flat may force the head and spine into unnatural positions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Immobilizing the legs, especially in a straightened position, negatively affects development of the hip joint and muscles, thus fostering bad posture. In particular, papoose-style carriers force the knees to straighten, which is an unnatural position for the baby. The hip joint is best developed if the knees are allowed to bend toward the body and the legs are not immobilized. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14783" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-21T11:53:41.137" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T11:53:41.137" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19662" CreationDate="2015-04-21T04:22:40.790" Score="13" ViewCount="3173" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter who is 5 and usually very happy and loving recently told my husband and me she wanted to shoot us and run to Noni. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After talking with her, we later realized this anger is directed at me. It has been a week now and though she's not repeating the fact that she wants to shoot me, she does continue to say she doesn't love me and wants my mother in law to be her mommy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter also just this week started telling me my belly bothers her, I look old, my nose is pointed and she doesn't think I'm pretty. She also seems more distant to me than normal. I did make the mistake of breaking down and letting her see me cry over this at one point. My husband is also beside himself over the remarks and attitude she is presenting to us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been with my daughter since the day she was born. I believe I show her unconditional love and give her plenty of affection and time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did live with my mother in law for a little over a year while trying to relocate to a different state (which we did 6 months ago). I have had to correct my daughter at times because I would overhear her calling my MIL mommy while playing with her and I would also get upset because my MIL would not correct her and continued to answer her. This has happened long before we moved in with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My MIL also feels the need to always be buying my daughter things and bringing them with her on a trip here or shipping her a box of stuff very frequently, even after we have nicely reminded her that we are living in a small space and don't have room for everything. We also had to stop my MIL at times from interfering in our personal situations such as my daughters vaccinations etc. where she thought it was her place to call my daughters pediatrician and try to get information and when she couldn't, she reached out elsewhere to bring us home brochures on the subject. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter during this past week has told us of 2 different situations that my MIL has told her to keep a secret between the 2 of them (calling her mommy was one of these). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do typically try to maintain a healthy and good relationship with both of our parents so my children can be close to them. My son who is 15 months old does not receive the same attention or peace of mind from my MIL as my daughter. Both my husband and I have tried to address this situation in a kind manner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Had I been absent or negligent in my daughters life I could understand the confusion but I have read her bed time stories, told her she is beautiful and how much she's loved, had tea parties and painted nails etc. we have tried ignoring her, telling her its okay we love her no matter what and that its ok she's feeling like this. My husband has resorted to even punishing her for the things she's saying. A few days ago we agreed we don't think she should be punished for this behavior but that we shouldn't ignore it either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14784" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-04-21T05:49:44.147" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T22:12:35.090" Title="Confused 5 year old" Tags="|pre-schooler|relationships|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19653" CreationDate="2015-04-21T05:32:08.713" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Heide,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The person who needs to be spoken sternly to, and punished, is your mother-in-law, and the person whose job it is to clear things up with her is your husband.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, let's focus on your daughter: Worse things will happen in adolescence.  Believe me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need to focus all your love for your daughter into being tolerant and not taking her comments and behavior personally.  Who would not do as your daughter is doing, after all the sabotage your mother-in-law has committed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, there may be one other thing contributing to the situation (besides the shocking behavior of your mother-in-law): there is a point in every child's life, when the child starts to leave the Mama-cocoon.  I think it's usually at approximately 6, but that is a rather vague memory, I might not have it exactly right.  I think that when this phase occurs, the child naturally focuses more on another family member, such as the father, as a way of achieving some distance from the mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This distancing has to take place, so that the child can become an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've got the mother-in-law situation taken care of, you'll be able to provide some discipline to your daughter.  &quot;You can think whatever you like, but there are rules about what you may say out loud....  You're welcome to hate me on the inside, but it's not allowed to &lt;em&gt;say&lt;/em&gt; it.&quot;  You and your husband will need to explain this to your daughter a couple of times before you start enforcing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are ready to enforce it, you simply put her in a time-out chair at the edge of whatever room you are in, for one minute.  No talking during time-out.  You can't talk to her either during time-out.  No toys, books, etc. are allowed in time-out.  If she starts to talk, or gets out of the chair before the minute is up, you start again.  An egg timer works well for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you send her to Time-Out, she must go and sit in the time-out chair by herself -- you should not have to force her to walk over and sit there.  Count to three.  (Explain how this will work to her ahead of time.)  If she's not in the chair by &quot;three,&quot; she will get TWO minutes of time-out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your job right now, Heide, is to be calm and neutral when you are with your daughter.  When she's not around, or when she's asleep, you can pour your heart out to your husband or a friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the name (Mommy) -- I understand why that hurt you.  But let it go.  If your husband can cut off the source of all this nonsense, you and your daughter will soon be back to a warm, loving relationship.  In the long run, it doesn't matter what she calls you.  Please, don't take your anger with your mother-in-law out on your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T05:32:08.713" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19655" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19650" CreationDate="2015-04-21T06:01:02.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several reasons why it's easier for your wife to do it.  Some are obvious -- I'll skip those -- but one that might not be so obvious is that your wife's approach is more cut and dried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some suggestions (I assume that's what you're really after...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have a family meeting (the three of you).  In the family meeting, you will tell your daughter that you are going to institute a monthly special father-daughter outing.  And you will ask of her that she be less clingy (you'll have to figure out how to explain this concept to her -- a bit of role play might help).  Give her a simple I-message about how you feel when she is clingy, but also tell her how much you enjoy spending special time with her.  Do some brainstorming together to find out what sorts of special outings would appeal to her.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;(You are probably doing this already --) Help your daughter feel that she has some important responsibilities with the baby, for example, explaining things to the baby.  Find lots of opportunities to remark to your wife (in your daughter's hearing) how the baby perked up when your daughter walked in the room, how interested the baby is in its sister, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Plan out a bedtime routine for your daughter containing some rituals.  You can gradually help her transition to expressing some of the lovey-dovey stuff with a favorite stuffed animal instead of all with you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When it's time to turn out the light, you have two options.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(a) As you are getting her settled, give her a verbal preview of what's to come, that when she's all ready for bed, and you've finished reading a picture book, you will kiss her good night, turn out the main light, and go wash the dishes; and then you will check on her every five minutes or so.  It's okay if she cries a bit.  In that case, you just bend time a bit, and make the &quot;five minutes&quot; go by very quickly.  You will gradually be training her that you haven't forgotten about her, and you always come back.  Start this procedure on an evening when it won't be a disaster if she's short on sleep the next day.  It's very important that you not cave in and ask your wife to go in.  Your wife should be out of the house, asleep, or otherwise occupied!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you go back in, ask if she's too warm, or too cold, or if anything hurts or itches; get her comforter nicely arranged again, check if she has the right stuffed animal.  Your voice should sound eminently reassuring.  You can utter a formula if you like (but only once per visit), such as, &quot;Mmm, it's so nice to be in my warm, comfy bed with [name of stuffed animal].&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(b) Get comfortable in a moveable chair in her room, with a nice podcast to listen to, while she's falling asleep.  You'll have to experiment to find the optimal distance from her bed for your chair.  Your presence should be reassuring, but you don't want to be so close that the stimulation of having you there keeps her from falling asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The podcast will make it easier for you to not engage with her.  &quot;I'm going to listen to my program now, we'll talk about that tomorrow.  And if necessary, broken record &quot;We'll talk about that tomorrow....  Tomorrow.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you start to get sleepy and are afraid you are about to fall asleep, and she's still awake and will be alarmed if you leave, say, &quot;I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back.&quot;  Now, interestingly, this may well be the point at which she drops off -- while you're out of the room!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me know if you have any questions!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T06:01:02.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19650" CreationDate="2015-04-21T13:07:55.127" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have had a similar thing with our daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Lasts&quot; are a very good way of helping with this. &quot;Now I'm going to give you your last cuddle. Now I'm going to give you your last kiss and then it's bed time.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if she cries when you leave the room, leave it a minute, then go in to the door, ask her what she wants, repeat that she's had the last of everything and say that it's bed time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since it may be the case that she wants attention from mum, the thing to do is to explain that she can cuddle mum tomorrow after her sleep. Insist on that, don't send mum in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically you need to put boundaries around yourself as regards bed time, otherwise this won't be good long term. I've been there and had to put them in place otherwise our LO just will keep up until really late. I've learnt (the hard way) that &quot;last cuddle&quot; means exactly that. And it takes a bit of time, especially if she's used to getting what she wants, but it's worth it in my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T13:07:55.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19650" CreationDate="2015-04-21T14:32:31.517" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The direct answer to your question is that your daughter has learned that different behaviors work with different parents.  My daughter, from a young age, developed two distinct sets of &quot;techniques&quot; to get what she wants from both parents.  For her mother, she throws tantrums and cries.  For me, she's all smiles and kisses and charm.  She knows that her mother often gives in to bratty behavior but can't be charmed, whereas I won't give in to tantrums, but can easily have my heart melted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your house, your daughter knows that as long as dad is in the room, she can put off going to sleep, but when mom comes in, she means business.  The only way to break the pattern is for you to quit giving in and giving her exactly what she wants (I know it's hard!).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of leaving the room, you might try sitting in there with her, but refusing to interact in any way until she goes to sleep.  If she does get up, you must be the one to take her back to bed, not her mother (but don't give in to any requests).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2015-04-21T18:12:38.580" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T18:12:38.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19639" CreationDate="2015-04-21T18:46:35.337" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of resources I haven't seen anyone mention:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you live near a university/college you can check out their chapter&#xA;of &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.acm.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ACM (Association for Computing Machinery)&lt;/a&gt; and see if they&#xA;have any high school outreach activities going on. Even if they don't&#xA;they may allow a mature middle/high school student to join their general meetings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gocivilairpatrol.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Civil Air Patrol&lt;/a&gt; - This is the civilian auxiliary to the US Air Force, whose mission encompasses cadet development, search and rescue, and aviation education. There is a possibility for scholarship assistance toward a private pilots licence and you do have the possibility to gain flight hours, under the guidance of train pilots of course, as a cadet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/Venturing.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Venture Scouts&lt;/a&gt; - Your area may have a Venture scout troop. This isn't just for boys but girls too. They have a variety of programs and some specific activities for STEM. I never did this myself as I was CAP, but the kids in my HS seemed to like it. They offer career exploration as well from what I understand.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look at the engineering and science departments of your local universities for youth activities. Here in Boulder, CO the CU physics department puts on free monthly seminars for elementary - adult on varying topics and many are hands on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Local library may have many programs to look at as well. My local library has both Lego and science clubs for kids so your local library may as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get with your schools science department and see if someone is willing to hold a Lego club. Lego has a list of &lt;a href=&quot;https://education.lego.com/en-us/lesi/grants&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;grant sources&lt;/a&gt; that can help classrooms/schools gain technology such as the mindstorm sets and computers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T18:46:35.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19661" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19663" CreationDate="2015-04-21T21:55:02.133" Score="10" ViewCount="2478" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3070/are-trace-amounts-of-caffeine-through-breastmilk-safe-for-babies&quot;&gt;We have a similar Question for caffeine&lt;/a&gt;, but I could not find one for alcohol, and I'm sure many breastfeeding mothers are interested to know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much alcohol is transmitted through breastmilk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Presuming one wants to avoid exposing the baby to alcohol, what sort of intake limits (i.e. number of drinks) or timing (e.g. delay before pumping or breastfeeding, pump-n-dump for &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; hours after drinking) should a nursing mother observe?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-04T16:04:43.493" LastActivityDate="2018-12-04T16:04:43.493" Title="Is alcohol transmitted through breastmilk?" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19653" CreationDate="2015-04-21T22:12:35.090" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, a certain amount of this behavior is completely normal around this age, directed toward the main disciplinarian.  They start seeing your expectations as &quot;being mean&quot; and they retaliate.  Your daughter's case is only unusual in its &lt;em&gt;degree&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your mother-in-law's behavior is also only unusual in its degree.  Especially with mothers who doted on their only child (just a guess in your husband's case), they suddenly find themselves stripped of their identity when their son gets married.  They can see their daughters-in-law as competition for their son's affection.  It's hard to overcome the mental notion that the two of you are kids yourselves, just playing house.  She sees you making mistakes on things she learned a long time ago.  Things like being dependent on her for a place to live make that impression worse.  I'm not excusing her behavior, just trying to put it into perspective for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your mother-in-law to treat you like an equal, you have to act like one and stand up for yourself.  In your shoes, I would be sending her packages back with firm but polite notes like, &quot;Thank you, but remember we don't have room for all this in our little apartment.  We kept the crayons, because her old ones badly needed replacing, but thought you might like to keep the larger items at your house for our next visit.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it was a mistake to let your daughter see her remarks hurt you.  The approach to take is to &lt;strong&gt;validate&lt;/strong&gt; the feelings, but &lt;strong&gt;discourage expressions&lt;/strong&gt; that hurt other people.  &quot;I know you're mad that you didn't get your way, but it's not okay to say things that hurt other people's feelings.&quot;  That will probably trigger a phase of her saying her feelings are hurt when you discipline her, which you respond with, &quot;I tried really hard not to hurt your feelings, which is why I was really hoping you would happily do what you were supposed to do the first time.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, asking a child to keep a secret from her parents is a common tactic of child abusers.  Not that I think it's necessarily the case here, but it's still important to teach your children not to permit such secrets, and why, and that they will never get in trouble for telling you, no matter what someone else says.  If your mother-in-law knows you teach your kids this, she will be less inclined to expect secrecy from your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-21T22:12:35.090" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19661" CreationDate="2015-04-21T22:27:36.037" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife did a ton of searching around for answers on this. The general rule of thumb that she found was that breast milk concentration goes as blood-alcohol concentration does. We fully metabolize about an ounce of alcohol in 3 hours or so. The best advice I've seen is to pump directly before drinking so you can store the un-contaminated breast milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/alcohol.html&quot;&gt;This link&lt;/a&gt; from La Leche League says the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thomas W. Hale, R.Ph. Ph.D., member of the LLLI Health Advisory Council, says this in his book Medications and Mothers' Milk (12th ed.):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In an interesting study of the effect of alcohol on milk ingestion by&#xA;  infants, the rate of milk consumption by infants during the 4 hours&#xA;  immediately after exposure to alcohol (0.3 g/kg) in 12 mothers was&#xA;  significantly less (7). Compensatory increases in intake were then&#xA;  observed during the 8 - 16 hours after exposure when mothers refrained&#xA;  from drinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How much alcohol is transmitted through breastmilk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The above link also states:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In a study of twelve breastfeeding mothers who ingested 0.3 g/kg of ethanol in orange juice (equivalent to 1 can of beer for the average-sized woman), the mean maximum concentration of ethanol in milk was 320 mg/L (5).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-3/230-234.htm&quot;&gt;This publication&lt;/a&gt; from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism states: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When a lactating woman consumes alcohol, some of that alcohol is transferred into the milk. In general, less than 2 percent of the alcohol dose consumed by the mother reaches her milk and blood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both sites show that alcohol isn't stored in the breast milk. The body will metabolize the alcohol, both from your blood stream and your breast milk over the course of a few hours (depending on how much you've had to drink).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means the alcohol level in breast milk will reduce at the same time it does in your blood, so you don't have to worry about alcohol in your milk hours later (so long as you don't drink enough for your blood to still have alcohol in it hours later). You may want to wait to pump or feed again until it's had time to metabolize, but you don't need to throw the milk away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-04-22T16:18:29.273" LastActivityDate="2015-04-22T16:18:29.273" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19664" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-22T00:35:22.677" Score="2" ViewCount="3442" Body="&lt;p&gt;But she babbles a lot.  She only seems interested in actions.  She can wave bye-bye, but does not understand what it means.  If you say &quot;yay!&quot; she will clap her hands and say &quot;yay&quot;.  So far, she does not recognize words as labels. Not even &quot;mommy&quot; or &quot;daddy&quot;.  She seems to hear fine.  She will turn her head at the sound of her own name, if you are persistent enough. She does not raise her arms to be picked up.  She will &quot;dance&quot; when she hears music.  She does not ask for things, she does not point. She crawls fine, she takes steps holding on to furniture or toys.  She screams and cries when she is hurt. Cries when she is tired or cranky. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea if it's related, but she has lots of teeth, like 12 teeth.  And she chews on every thing.  Her mother thinks she's teething, but she already has a mouth full of teeth (but not molars).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she behind developmentally? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14795" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T05:46:46.313" Title="My 14 month old granddaughter doesn't talk, and she doesn't seem to understand." Tags="|language-development|speech|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19665" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-22T01:47:41.477" Score="2" ViewCount="280" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have read all of the posted (related) questions and answers, and to be specific, I am having tremendous troubles just getting her to tell me (her father) what exactly she may be afraid of.  Her response to my asking of &quot;why won't you TRY to go on the potty?' is either met with an &quot;I don't want to&quot; or after trying to narrow it down, an &quot;I am afraid&quot;...  At best, I was able to get her to speak to her fear of the sound, but this just doesn't seem to be the core of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a little background, she is very capable of holding it (to a painful fault at times), and has NO issues of going pee on the potty at all. Pooping is by far the ONLY issue with the potty. She prefers to use diapers, but they eventually cause rashes, and prohibit the development of her learning to do her &quot;business&quot; as we all do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions would be appreciated, and if I need to provide any further details of things we may have tried, or issues that we run into when trying to help her, please let me know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14797" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-22T12:28:38.513" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T23:56:33.060" Title="My 44 month (4 months to 4 yrs) daughter is having HUGE trouble going POOP on the potty" Tags="|potty-training|potty|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19664" CreationDate="2015-04-22T03:00:55.707" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I need to prerequisite my answer by saying that you should have your grandchild evaluated by a licensed Speech Language Pathologist.  You can also discuss your concerns with your pediatrician and you may want to do that first because many insurance companies will not pay for a speech-language evaluation without a referral from the child's pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now to my opinion... I have two children, a 2 yo and a 4 yo and my wife is a Speech Pathologist.  While she is really the best person to answer your question, from observing children in my wife's clinic and having recited several different development charts, 14 months is really too early to gauge a speech or language delay based on your characterization of her behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As many people will tell you, children develop at vastly different rates.  Our daughter developed language very quickly because her mom (the Speech Pathologist) was staying home with her.  Our son, on the other hand, developed language much later because our attention was split between him and his sister.&#xA;So, again, I would discuss your concerns with the child's pediatrician and / or consult with a Speech Language Pathologist.  Insurance will typically cover an evaluation that will determine if your granddaughter has a significant delay when compared to a normal population her age.  If the assessment does determine a significant delay then she may qualify for Speech Therapy covered by insurance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also have her hearing checked by an Audiologist or Speech Pathologist.  Either can perform a simple hearing test if they have the right equipment.  Again, everything is smoother sailing with your insurance if you have a referral.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do not have insurance, I would check with your grandchild's preschool / daycare to see whether they offer free screenings.  If you are in California you could also check with your local state funded early intervention center.  They provide free screenings and therapy services for families without insurance or who's insurance has denied coverage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope some of this was helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sincerely, John&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6678" LastEditorUserId="6678" LastEditDate="2015-04-22T03:06:37.330" LastActivityDate="2015-04-22T03:06:37.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19664" CreationDate="2015-04-22T06:19:18.527" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://drhart.net/clinic/forms/Denver%20II%20Developmental%20Milestones.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; is a PDF that is widely used to screen babies for developmental delay. It is based on &lt;em&gt;social behavior&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;fine motor skills&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;language&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;gross motor skills&lt;/em&gt;. Open the chart, and put a sheet of paper at the 14 month notch from top to bottom. That way, if there are behaviors she does that you didn't mention which she ought to be able to do, you can identify them.**&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based only on what you've said (there is more to consider), I would say that she is not where she should be. Part of it could be explained by a hearing problem, but not all of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She should have a 15 month well-child visit scheduled (in the US, babies are seen at: 1 week, 1-, 2-, 4-, 6-, 9-, 12-, 15-, 18- and 24-months. If she doesn't have a visit scheduled, please encourage the parents to make an appointment with her primary care provider (PCP) within a month for an evaluation of her development. In the meantime, if the parents have not taken videos of her on a semi-regular basis, video-recording her eating, playing, babbling, listening to music, walking, etc., might come in handy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If her PCP is unconcerned, ask for a second opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of development of communication (which includes pointing to things she wants, indicating that she's hungry, that she &lt;em&gt;doesn't&lt;/em&gt; want something, etc.), a mother's feeling that something is not right is the most reliable source of information; the maternal grandmother's concerns are the second most reliable source. (Sorry, all you dads out there!) In other words, a doctor takes such concerns seriously, and unless their exam completely contradicts the source's concerns, tests are ordered, because if something is found, early intervention in delays is more beneficial than later intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**&lt;sub&gt;Average is the white part of the rectangle. Behind but still within normal limits is the blue part of the rectangle. For example, you'll see that she should be standing alone for more than several seconds - not holding on to anything - by now.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-22T06:19:18.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19665" CreationDate="2015-04-22T09:59:40.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on the child and their ability to verbalize, she may very well know what she's afraid of but cannot put it into words.  Instead of asking her why, give her scenarios.  &quot;Are you afraid the water will hit your bottom and get it wet?  Are you worried about what happens to the poo/pee when you flush?&quot; (That's what my daughter's issue was.)  No matter how absurd the question, ask it: anything you can come up with might be the core issue, or might give her enough verbal clues to coax it out of her head herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If being scared of the sound is part of the problem, you can promise her that you will go and flush after she's done and out of the room, or show her how to cover her ears (both of mine are sensitive to sound as well, and these have been  successful compromises for both).  Also, the kid potty can be a great solution for those who are training and afraid of the noise of the 'real' one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-04-22T09:59:40.963" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19665" CreationDate="2015-04-22T15:01:53.423" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One likely issue: she's probably afraid of &lt;em&gt;failure&lt;/em&gt;.  Or, perhaps more accurately, she's not &lt;em&gt;afraid&lt;/em&gt; but nervous or stressed.  Pooping in the potty is a stressful experience at first - both because you and she have expectations of success and yet it doesn't come easily, and because undoubtedly it's stressful to you (as a parent) that it's still going on - whether you verbalize it or not - it's impossible to completely hide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You haven't really listed what you've tried (perhaps because that would take all day and more characters than you can fit in a question - whatever that is), so here are some suggestions that you might've already tried - but maybe not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, familiarization with the toilet presumably isn't an issue as you suggest she pees fine - but perhaps some positive identification reinforcement would be helpful.  One thing that got our then-three year old over the 'hump' was &quot;Poopy iPad time&quot;.  Ten to twenty minutes with the ipad twice a day (use the built-in timer) sitting on the toilet the whole time, watching his videos or playing games - whatever he wanted - and then, after that time, if he'd pooped he got ten more minutes.  No stress, no pushing, just a quick &quot;did you poop&quot; check under him.  Initially it started out that way anyway - once he realized he did get extra time for it, and wanted the extra time, when I came to check, he would strain and strain to get the littlest poop you could imagine out - but he'd do it, and we'd say &quot;yay&quot; and add to his timer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That both gave him positive vibes with the toilet and pooping, and encouraged him to figure out how the physical part worked (since it gave him an immediate reward).  He still to this day (6 months later) has poopy iPad time because he likes it (and enjoys the solitude from his little brother).  It didn't work immediately - still had lots of poopy accidents for several weeks - but it did eventually work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you can try to reduce the stress.  Stop talking about it for a month or two.  Don't mention pooping in the potty once.  If she brings it up, talk to her about it of course, but don't put &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; pressure or expectations.  Then after a few months, gently let her know it's time to discard the diapers and go over to pooping in the toilet.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, when you do go all in on this, definitely discard diapers - that has to be a one-way thing or it's too easy for her to go back.  Maybe buy a last box of diapers, and when you're on the last week or two, tell her that, and you're off them for good never to buy them again.  And then, of course, don't buy them ever again - no matter what, no matter how hard it is to clean up after her in underwear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-22T15:01:53.423" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19671" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19694" CreationDate="2015-04-22T15:49:29.007" Score="6" ViewCount="1119" Body="&lt;p&gt;My younger son, who just turned two a month ago, is going through one of those common stages in toddlerhood (that I remember the older one going through - but less roughly - at the same time).  His brain development skyrocketed, but it's come at a cost: he can't decide &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a bit complicated by his cold (which probably makes food harder to taste -&gt; harder to decide on), but it's not just food: clothes, toys, what he wants to do.  Any time he'd normally have a choice, he sits there, says &quot;don't know&quot; for a while, then sometimes makes a choice - and then regrets it almost instantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Picking out clothes, he often would pick out a specific shirt, and if not, I could give him a choice of two and he'd pick one reliably.  Now, all we get is &quot;don't know&quot; and when I offer anything, &quot;I don't like that&quot;.  Not a specific objection to getting dressed (we do now and always have had some of those, but I know what those look like).  Once I pick for him and put it on he's fine.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Getting breakfast this morning, he really struggled.  I gave him his choices - fruit, yogurt, some cereal - nada.  I narrowed it down to two choices that he loves both of - &quot;don't know&quot;.  Finally I got myself a bowl of cereal (of a cereal he likes) and told him I was going to eat and he could tell me when he was ready to decide; he said &quot;I want that&quot; pointing to my cereal.  Okay, fine, went over to get a bowl; he picked the bowl he and his brother fight over because they both love it (a dip bowl that has a christmas train on it!).  I said &quot;Excellent&quot;, picked it up, immediate &quot;I don't want that&quot; cry.  He picks another bowl, okay, great. I pour the raisin bran in, he immediately says &quot;I don't want that, I want wheaties&quot; (which was on offer earlier, but wasn't what he'd said).  At this point I'd already put milk in it so it wasn't going to change, so we sat down and after some crying he finally ate a few bites, was fine, and ended up eating three (small- 1 c rice bowl size) bowls of it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had thought this might be hunger related at times (or head cold related), but it seems to be all the time with no stopping.  His brother had something like this for a week or two, but nothing like this - it was more that he became &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; opinionated and objected to everything we did out of principle.  I don't think that's what's going on here directly: I think he's probably too aware of decisions and is being indecisive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to help him out here, other than just power through?  Is it better to make decisions for him, like I did with the clothes above, or to let him muddle around for a while?  My wife and I are both not great 'deciders', so we'd like to give him the best shot at learning how to be decisive: but we'd also like to not have him too sad because of this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it a good idea to let him change his mind until he finds what he wants?  Or does that lead to a child who always changes his mind and never is happy with anything?  I'm generally happy to let him (or his brother) change his mind prior to a hard cutoff, which is usually the point when some waste would occur (milk in cereal for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T21:46:02.690" Title="Two year old indecisiveness" Tags="|toddler|behavior|development|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19674" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-23T00:14:45.393" Score="2" ViewCount="1179" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a baby on the way and I am looking into bottle sterilizers.  My concern is if they are really effective at disinfecting.  Some claim to disinfect in as little as 5 minutes.  I am not sure that is enough exposure time.  I am also having a hard time finding actual specification as to what temperatures the sterilizer reaches.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14804" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-23T17:27:17.023" LastActivityDate="2018-09-23T17:27:17.023" Title="Bottle sterilizers and their effectiveness" Tags="|safety|bottle-feeding|pacifier|temperatures|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19676" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19679" CreationDate="2015-04-23T01:33:28.867" Score="3" ViewCount="322" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was looking for kids sunglasses to buy for my 1-year-old. The only thing I knew is that they really had to be 100% UV protection. I was also wondering how to make them stay on the kid's face (this one is quite curious and spirited).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I came into these sunglasses for kids with adjustable straps on the Internet and started to read several reviews. I realized that there are a lot of thing I didn't imagine I could/should watch out for, like the material for the straps (neoprene?) or finding glasses which won't scratch the kid's face if the kid energetically pulls them off or that would break easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without going overboard, which are the main things I should watch out when buying sunglasses for a 1-year-old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11753" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-11T18:30:53.387" LastActivityDate="2018-11-11T18:30:53.387" Title="Which things should I watch out for when buying sunglasses for a 1-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|safety|glasses|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19677" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-23T04:12:52.500" Score="5" ViewCount="671" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two boys are 4-years-old and 11 months; they will be 5 and 1 next month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest is exceedingly stubborn, and he's displaying strong leadership traits. When he has his mind set on something, his single focus is achieving it. He is determined to be accepted and treated as an adult, and he often lands in trouble for trying to be the parent in a given situation. He's also very smart and mischievously sneaky at times. He's a good kid, but I've struggled with bad behavior, repeatedly going against what he's told, and now mistreating his little brother by hitting and biting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first approach when he misbehaved was to consistently sit him in a time out. I devised a three step time out, where he had to &quot;climb&quot; the stairs to exit time out. First, he would explain why he was in time out. Second, he would brainstorm ways to avoid said behavior in the future. Third, he would sit quietly in time out for 10 minutes to think about our talk. This worked for a few months. Then, he started ignoring me and the time outs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My next approach was to take something away when he ignored time out. This went on for three months, until I had effectively confiscated everything from favorite toys to his coveted game time on PBS. He still acted out and began melting down instead of communicating, to which I helped him learn how to breathe deeply, calm down, and then talk. He stopped doing this a month or so later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My next, and most unpleasant, approach was to talk through his behavior, ensuring he understood why what he did was wrong and why be was being punished before being smacked on the butt twice. This seemed to work, and we had a few weeks of calm before it all began again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a terrible time getting him to nap and eat well. Thinking this was a contributing factor, I began focusing on sleeping and eating habits, trying to improve them. He said he didn't want to sleep because of &quot;ghosts in [his] room&quot; before saying he was making it up so he could stay up. I was so proud of him for telling me this, especially since we've been talking about the importance of not lying or making things up. Then, he said there were monsters in his room. He seemed to firmly believe there was a monster that came out when he went to bed. So, he and I &quot;chased&quot; the monster out and set up a &quot;protective barrier&quot; to keep it and all others out. A week later, he was back to tantrum throwing at every nap and bed time because he didn't want to go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's not a picky eater, but he refuses to eat a good meal. His reasoning ranges from not being hungry to wanting to do other things first. He's starting school in the fall, and I'm trying to help him understand he needs to eat and sleep when it's time to eat and sleep. I've tried everything from a reward system to taking things away for doing or not doing as instructed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's never had an issue with his little brother. And he's usually a phenomenal big brother. He was excited to have his little brother move into his room. He acts very good outside of the house, and he only acts out when he's comfortable in a place that isn't home (like Grandma's or a close friend's).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he's constantly doing things he shouldn't and now hitting and biting his little brother. He's also suddenly having a &lt;strong&gt;lot&lt;/strong&gt; of accidents in his clothes and bed, sometimes several times in one day. I'm trying so hard to stay consistent, but when it seems like nothing is working and he's constantly misbehaving, throwing tantrums, and melting down, I'm not sure what to keep doing and what to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His physical is in June and I intend to speak to his pediatrician about all of this. But in the meantime, is there anything I'm missing? Is there something else I can try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried digging deeper to see if there is a deeper problem or issue to address, but his answers and conversations are sporadic at best. It's very hard to tell if he's being truthful or spinning a story. And I'm worried he'll be behind in school because he doesn't apply himself. He can read, but he acts like he can't. He is super smart, but he continually downplays his abilities, and I don't know why when he's always been encouraged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks, from one burnt out, frazzled, and worried mum! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14807" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-12T13:21:52.950" LastActivityDate="2018-11-12T13:21:52.950" Title="5-year-old tantrums and misbehavior - what am I doing wrong?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|siblings|tantrums|violence|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19676" CreationDate="2015-04-23T15:04:01.933" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main concerns with 1 year old sunglasses:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Durability.  Plastic lenses, preferably no stiff joints that are easy to break/tear.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No small pieces if possible.  The main small pieces in sunglasses are the screws in the joints and the nose piece.  Try to get ones with no possibly removed pieces in either - if you get ones that don't have a stiff joint at the eye-&gt;ear piece, that is best as those usually have screws otherwise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cheap.  Even if they're durable, they'll probably be useless in a month from scratches, or lost, or broken.  I'd pick a less durable but cheap pair over a more durable but much more expensive pair, within limits, because even durable glasses get scratched or lost.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And as you noted in the question, UV protection is the main reason to get them.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-23T15:04:01.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19674" CreationDate="2015-04-23T15:27:49.587" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sterilization using solely water or steam would indeed take more than five minutes.  Steam that is just at 100°C would take close to &lt;a href=&quot;http://generalbacteriology.weebly.com/sterilization-and-disinfection.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;an hour and a half&lt;/a&gt; to completely sterilize the vessels - and a better process is to repeat it several times (Tyndallization, referenced in that article as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you're not just using steam here; you're also washing the bottles in soapy water.  You also don't have to get to the level of cleanliness that a clean room requires - here there is a misuse of the word &quot;Sterilized&quot;.  You want &quot;sanitized&quot;.  A couple of bacteria here or there won't be a disaster - you just need there to be not enough to cause the milk to go bad or make your baby sick.  (You're probably not being sufficiently careful with the bottles post-sterilization, anyway.)  Sanitizing means reducing the level of bacteria by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.foodprocessing.com/articles/2010/007/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;99.999%&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boiling or steaming for 5-10 minutes is usually the recommended time.  Restaurants sanitize their dishes in 85°C water for 15 minutes; as water gets hotter, it's more effective at sanitizing.  Note that this is as a third step after washing and rinsing - just like restaurants - and does not remove any particulate objects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby has a medical condition that requires more care than that, please ask your doctor for the specifics.  You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; sterilize at home, either using chemical sterilization agents or steam, but it's much more involved than the bottle steamers that you're buying at Buy Buy Baby or whatnot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-23T15:27:49.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19677" CreationDate="2015-04-23T15:40:45.263" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You really have two questions there...  What is causing his behavior and how to deal with his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter (who is the younger) is the willful one in my family.  Some punishments are more effective than others but the key is to keep going until you find one that works, though what works may change over time.  Here's an example from when my daughter was 4 and was refusing to do her chore of putting away the silverware from a clean dishwasher:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me:  (calmly)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Look... Here is what is going to happen because this is what happened last time.  I'm going to count 1..2..3 and you'll still be refusing so I'll give you a time-out.  You'll refuse to take it on your own so I'll count to 3 again and then give you a double time-out and forcibly move you to the chair.  You'll get down.  I'll put you back.  You'll get down.  I'll put you back.  You'll get down a third time and I'll throw you over my shoulder, carry you upstairs, put you to bed, and leave the room.  You'll come out.  I'll put you back to bed.  You'll come out.  I'll put you back to bed a third time, close and &lt;em&gt;lock&lt;/em&gt; the door at which point you will scream and cry and kick the door for 10 minutes before you finally calm down at which point I'll bring you downstairs, you'll serve your double time-out and then &lt;strong&gt;you will still put away the silverware&lt;/strong&gt;.  Got it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Okay.  (and did it)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was so thrilled at this!  Progress!  Conversation!  Reason!  But oh it was so painful the first two times where I actually had to go through all those steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's still a willful child and I think that's great!  I don't want to break her will... just bend it a little.  Sometimes it's difficult to not just let it pass but I firmly believe that it is my job to be more willful than her so I slog through it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She only through a full-blown pound-on-the-floor tantrum with me once.  I got my camera and took pictures of her.  She didn't like that.  She also never bothered trying another one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastActivityDate="2015-04-23T15:40:45.263" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19677" CreationDate="2015-04-23T19:02:44.060" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids mess up.  A lot.  If it were possible to do something for a month that would make them stop messing up, they wouldn't need to live with you anymore.  Kids messing up isn't a sign that you're doing something wrong.  It's a sign that you're dealing with a normal human kid.  Parenting is &lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/04/09/raising-your-successful-35-year-old&quot;&gt;raising a successful 35 year-old&lt;/a&gt;.  It's a job with a very long view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sign of successful discipline isn't whether the child stops a negative behavior right away.  It's when after a month something he did every hour is now twice a day, then after two months it's down to once a day, then after six months it's down to once a week, then after two years it's down to once a month, then after 5 years it's down to once a year, and hopefully when he moves out he has stopped altogether and has the tools to discipline himself when new temptations arise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise, kids resisting a consequence isn't a sign that the consequence is failing.  It's a sign that it's working.  I think you mostly need to take the long view and keep trying consistently when it looks like things aren't going well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing I would say is don't only step in with a consequence every time he messes up.  You need to give him the tools and the autonomy to solve the problem on his own.  He needs to feel like his behavior is something he controls, not something you control.  You're just the guardrail.  He's driving the car.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means hitting his brother should not only result in a consequence and being told what &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to do.  You need to teach him what to do &lt;em&gt;instead&lt;/em&gt;.  In my experience, the number one reason kids feel out of control is when they're constantly told what not to do and they don't know what to do instead.  It might be reciting a mantra like, &quot;He's little.  He doesn't know any better.&quot;  It might be coming to ask you to intervene.  It might be going somewhere he can be alone.  Whatever it is, it has to be something positive and concrete that works for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, model for him the positive things you do when someone makes you angry.  Kids learn from your actions way more than your words.  If you yell and hit when you're angry with him, he will yell and hit when he's angry with his brother.  If you need some alone time in order to calm down, don't just disappear.  Make a point of telling him what you're doing and why.  He will see time outs as much more valuable if he sees you imposing them on yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-23T19:02:44.060" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19677" CreationDate="2015-04-23T20:32:30.797" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think Karl Bielefeldt's answer is excellent, but I wanted to address you food/nap issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would simply not make them issues. Address the other, more important issues first - don't make it seem like he has no control, and no say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, I know very few 5 year olds who still needs naps. He will not be able to have one in school, will he? I would stop the naps, don't take that battle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, I would not make the food an issue. Serve him food, expect him to eat, and let him decide if he wants to. What we do with our 4 year old is that there are a few rules for dinner and breakfast (rest of day snacking is OK for us). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You sit at the table, even if you are not hungry. Eating is up to you, but sitting down with the family is not. (This will usually prompt eating - but he doesn't have to stay for the whole meal. After a little while he can be excused). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have to take one bite of everything on your plate, especially if you are asking for more of some of it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You cannot ask for more food later (mostly relevant for dinner time), if you didn't eat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This works really well for us, you can find the rules that fit your household. But we have removed the battle of how much he eats (except tasting everything), you can't win this, and I feel kids need to know if they are hungry or not. It is in the vein of 'you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think removing some of these battles, and let him be independent might help you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-04-23T20:32:30.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5626" CreationDate="2015-04-24T07:03:22.527" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;its important to reinforce that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every child needs atleast ONE ADULT who thinks that He or SHE is amazing and has faith in that child. As parents, when we encourage them and know them and love them, they grow in the security of that love and sometimes others' comments dont shake them as much. Spend time reinforcing when in the company of that child, that &quot;he/she is the most special unique XYZ* (* = name) in the world. In the entire world, there is no other Jacob/Amy just like him/her.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids would be more hurt when we acknowledge and accept other's public opinion that one of them is smarter in their presence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the younger one is being noticed, spend time with the elder child reinforcing how different, smart and special he or she is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not keep with the trend of trying to reverse the damage by saying to the kid, see how well you can do x y or z better than your sibling since that reinforces the same spirit of oneupmanship in a negative way. but rather highlight the uniqueness of the child. I disagree that sibling rivalry has to always be accepted. a bit of competitiveness is ok, but not at the cost of hurting the self-worth of the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let your children do different sports and different musical instruments. a differentiation factor in terms of what they pursue- based on their interests of course - as far as possible will help avoid comparisons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when the older one looks sad, its important to acknowledge it if you havent mitigated it when it happens. and its important to troubleshoot right then and there.. with a simple pre-rehearsed statement like &quot;yes, they are both unique and special and have such differently beautiful characteristics.&quot; or something to that effect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps. All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*source: am a mommy of two smallies, have been a student counsellor and trainer for 4 years, have a psychology bkgd&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14815" LastActivityDate="2015-04-24T07:03:22.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19687" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-24T07:56:25.107" Score="11" ViewCount="1565" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is in her 1st grade and she is quite good at reading. By that I mean she can pronounce difficult words, read books with the correct pause and expressions. She can even read fast. But what she lacks is the ability to comprehend what she is reading. When I notice that she is simply not reading and not pausing to think/reflect on what she is reading, I stop her and ask her questions. She stumbles on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A strategy I have tried is to give reading comprehension work sheets. They are helping but I think there should be some other strategies too. Are there any strategies that parents/teachers in this forum have used (or using) and found effective?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4964" LastActivityDate="2021-11-29T17:26:06.770" Title="How to help my 1st grade daughter with her reading comprehension?" Tags="|education|reading|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19543" CreationDate="2015-04-24T09:39:12.297" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The particular situation has been covered thoroughly in other answers, but let's try to look at the bigger picture: what is better for a child's development - a single, repetitive stimulus or varied stimuli? Laying the whole day at one place and looking at the ceiling or visiting places and seeing and smelling and hearing different things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that, &lt;em&gt;provided there are no safety or health objections&lt;/em&gt;, a child, however small, can and perhaps even should be taken to different places and environments. Let's not hinder our LO's development by keeping it in a ill-conceived safety bubble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-04-24T09:39:12.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19687" CreationDate="2015-04-24T10:55:16.540" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about having her write some stories/paragraphs?  Not necessarily about the particular book she's reading, but about any subject in general.  Kids learn in different ways, and I have noticed that my first-grade speed-reader's reading comprehension improved when she started writing books for her little brother.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also the tactic of taking the subject she's reading about and supplementing with different sources.  Reading about fish?  Go to an aquarium and make observations, and compare them with the book she was reading.  Watch a video about underwater life, and talk with her about how what you just watched relates to what she's been reading.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-04-24T10:55:16.540" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19687" CreationDate="2015-04-24T12:57:09.517" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to be a primary school teaching assistant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things that may help comprehension is context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And by context I mean literary context. You can build up her 'context' bank by reading and then re-reading stories of a specific genre to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g. we were taught (as teaching assistant's) that all those &quot;Once upon a time&quot; stories we heard as children not only got us used to the rhythm of a story but allowed us to infer and predict parts of the story, we enjoyed the anticipation because soon we knew the knight would appear or the wicked witch!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine if you weren't a fan of sci-fi films and someone asked you to explain one you'd just seen. You could probably describe it but comprehending it may be another matter. It's not so easy if you don't have a reference point, a contextual understanding of the thing you are supposed to be engaging with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also make it fun! Act out with her parts of the story, use funny/silly/engaging voices, body movements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think back to what you enjoyed about stories when you were a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just my two cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14816" LastActivityDate="2015-04-24T12:57:09.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19687" CreationDate="2015-04-24T12:57:55.317" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actually had a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/8001/644&quot;&gt;similar question&lt;/a&gt; a couple years ago.  What I've learned since then is you mostly just need to wait.  Kids don't really hit the developmental milestones for fluent reading until around age 7 or 8.  Schools are teaching it earlier now mostly due to political pressure, not due to that being the best timetable for the way kids naturally learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, you mostly want to cultivate a love of reading.  What good is it to be a good reader at age six if you hate it by age 10?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along those lines, the &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; thing I found to improve comprehension is to let them read stories they like.  Even as an adult, it's hard to remember details from books that bore you.  On the other hand, try getting my son to shut up about the plot of a Star Wars book.  Your daughter's comprehension may be better than you think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing I found to improve comprehension on the boring books (if you must) is to ask the questions beforehand, so she can be on the lookout for the specific answers while reading.  This also matches the way adults read for knowledge.  We don't have quizzes afterward when we read non-fiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-04-24T12:57:55.317" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19676" CreationDate="2015-04-24T19:08:13.890" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to add some things to Joe's answer, which I think covers most of the safety and cost concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, picking out sunglasses for my son was much more about his &lt;em&gt;comfort&lt;/em&gt; with them. If he doesn't like how they feel on his face, then he will take them off (whilst complaining about the brightness)! You can meet all the other qualifications, but it won't matter if your child won't wear them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think we end up getting him sunglasses slightly larger than his size, in order for them to be comfortable. If the bows are too short (or the elastic too tight), then the nosepieces and rims push into his face and cause him discomfort. Also, if the bows/sides rub his temples as they're put on, that initial discomfort will cause him to resist wearing them at all. Slightly overlarge sunglasses are easy to slide onto his oft moving head without risking abrasion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would add that we had no success with adjustable-band sunglasses. The pressure of the strap is too uncomfortable for him. The only thing he'll wear on his face with a band is his Batman mask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Proper &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everydayhealth.com/skin-cancer/sun-protection-hats-to-prevent-skin-cancer.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wide-brimmed hats&lt;/a&gt; may be a good solution if you can't find suitable sunglasses, but should also be used in conjunction with them. Personally, my son is much less averse to wearing hats compared to shades. Now that he's older, he'll usually wear his sunglasses without complaint. I can't imagine that his cancer risk or eye health, from only wearing hats/sunscreen for the first two years of his life is affected in any way that I would &lt;em&gt;care&lt;/em&gt; about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-04-24T19:08:13.890" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3882" CreationDate="2015-04-24T21:27:12.877" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;The current scientific consensus is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No.&#xA;It is not necessary to sterilize bottles, not even for newborns.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only exception are bottle teats made of rubber - the rubber can become porous over time, so occasional sterilization is recommended. However, most bottle teats are made of silicone, which is not affected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The primary safety measure to take with milk bottles is to &lt;em&gt;not let them sit for too long&lt;/em&gt;, because harmful germs do develop if the milk is not fresh. However, if the milk is fresh, sterilizing the bottle does not make a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Caveat:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This assumes the bottles are thoroughly cleaned just like regular dishes, and that they are cleaned with safe drinking water, such as tap water in most developed nations. If there is no access to safe drinking water for cleaning this answer does not apply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Säuglingsernährung und Ernährung der stillenden Mutter - Handlungsempfehlungen&quot;&lt;/em&gt; (&quot;Nutrition of babies and of breastfeeding mothers - practical guidelines&quot;), published in Monatsschrift&#xA;Kinderheilkunde, October 2010. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.springermedizin.de/saeuglingsernaehrung-und-ernaehrung-der-stillenden-mutter/8048772&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Original publication (paywalled)&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.researchgate.net/publication/225718378_Sauglingsernahrung_und_Ernahrung_der_stillenden_Mutter&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;alternative source (free to read)&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a comprehensive document on nutrition, jointly authored by multiple physicians and nutrition experts from hospitals, research institutes and German government institutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has a paragraph on hygiene:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hygienische Aspekte.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Das  hygienische Hauptrisiko liegt in der Vermehrung&#xA;  gesundheitsgefährdender  Bakterien,  wie Escherichia coli und&#xA;  Salmonellen. Es wird entscheidend  von  den  Standzeiten  der&#xA;  zubereiteten  Milchnahrung  beeinflusst. Deshalb sollen&#xA;  Milchnahrungsreste entsorgt und nicht wieder aufgewärmt werden.  Dies &#xA;  ist  die  entscheidende  hygienische Vorsichtsmaßnahme. Ein Auskochen&#xA;  bzw. Sterilisieren der Flaschen und  Sauger bringen keinen weiteren&#xA;  Vorteil. Dies stellen alle Fachorganisationen fest (DGE, DGKJ, FKE).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Gummisauger werden im Gegensatz zu Silikonsaugern porös. Deshalb&#xA;  sollten sie Deshalb sollten sie aus Sicht der Experten/-innen hin und&#xA;  wieder ausgekocht  werden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;English translation (by me, no guarantees):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hygiene aspects&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The main hygiene risk is the growth of harmful bacteria, like&#xA;  escherichia coli and salmonellae. This is largely determined by the time&#xA;  the milk is left to stand. Therefore milk leftovers should be disposed of,&#xA;  and not reheated. This is the most important hygiene precaution. Boiling&#xA;  or sterilizing the bottles and teats does not provide an additional&#xA;  advantage. This is the consensus among all professional organizations&#xA;  (DGE, DGKJ, FKE).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Rubber teats, unlike silicone teats, can become porous. Therefore the&#xA;  experts recommend to boil them from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2020-03-12T14:05:28.870" LastActivityDate="2020-03-12T14:05:28.870" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19671" CreationDate="2015-04-24T21:47:05.040" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a guess.  I'm wondering if it might be a situation where he made the following two, distinct cognitive steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(1) A while back, he developed the understanding that he &lt;strong&gt;could&lt;/strong&gt; choose things.  Make decisions.  Affect the outcome.  Make his will known, and have it followed.  This is a big, important thing to understand, and it gives him control over his environment.  Awesome!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, recently, he started to understand&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(2) WAIT A MINUTE!  Choosing &quot;A&quot; means I DON'T GET &quot;B&quot;!!!!  AAAAAARRRRGH!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was ok when he was just choosing something.  Now, he's made the cognitive leap that choosing one thing deprives him of the other thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said that you narrowed down choices to two things that he likes both of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See what happens if you offer him a choice between something he really likes and something he's not very fond of.  If that makes it easier, this theory might be true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it turns out that this theory is true, you might address it by helping mitigate the &quot;loss&quot;.  If he seems to be having trouble, suggest something like &quot;How about you wear this shirt today, and you can wear this other one tomorrow?&quot;  (And of course you can continue to, when possible, direct him toward easier choices by suggesting between things he likes a lot and things he likes less.  If you're lucky it will be a passing phase :) .)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7526" LastActivityDate="2015-04-24T21:47:05.040" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19696" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19703" CreationDate="2015-04-25T13:25:38.227" Score="2" ViewCount="369" Body="&lt;p&gt;My middle child (seven years old) hates dressing up. Well... sort of. He likes &lt;em&gt;shopping&lt;/em&gt; for dressy clothing (slacks, vest, button-down shirt, tie) and has a respectable collection. He'll even occasionally wear it around the house when playing pretend, or dress all his stuffed animals in ties. However, when we actually &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to wear somewhat dressy clothing to something, he &quot;hates&quot; the clothing, &quot;looks ugly&quot; in it, is &quot;uncomfortable&quot;, and expresses these opinions repeatedly and at loud volume while getting dressed. He also sometimes outright refuses, and ends up doing passive resistance (just lying on the floor) while a parent stuffs him into the appropriate clothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that his dislike is somewhat rooted in the type of event that we'll be going to: it often requires a level of quiet, still behavior that is a challenge for him anyway. The clothes end up being a convenient scapegoat. However, this is just one of those unavoidable parts of life: there will be weddings, funerals, anniversaries, and other parties where dressing up helps show respect for the occasion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried for a while to be very enthusiastic about how nice and grown-up he looked, but it didn't really make much of a difference. (It &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; have made him even shyer, since he doesn't like being noticed, but it's hard to tell.) He already gets to choose whatever he wants to wear. Are there other strategies that I can try to try to make this less of a flash point?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-05T14:28:14.427" LastActivityDate="2018-11-05T14:28:14.427" Title="Can I avoid nice clothing being a source of argument?" Tags="|primary-schooler|conflict|clothes|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19697" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-25T13:53:53.160" Score="3" ViewCount="434" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm UK based and have 6 children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child 1: female, has a formal diagnosis of autism, NF1.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child 2: male, has a formal diagnosis of Asperger's, also has other&#xA;health problems. Both children present in stark contrasts but also&#xA;some similarities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children 3, 4: females, late talkers but could understand me and&#xA;gestured accordingly so I was not worried.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child 5: male, is worrying me. He is 22 months old, has no speech&#xA;whatsoever, not even the 'typical' mumma, dadda, etc. He does baby&#xA;babble but most of his verbal communication is via intense high&#xA;pitched screaming and head banging - he will dive into me head first&#xA;full pelt. He does not gesture (i.e., point, wave) nor does he appear&#xA;to understand what is being said to him  (&quot;get cup&quot;, &quot;get shoes&quot;). He&#xA;will very rarely answer to his name.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He hates baths, hair washing, haircuts and being in car seats and pushchairs, and point blank refuses to wear any kind of shoes even in winter (wants to be bare foot.) He also 'flaps' certain types of objects like laces, necklaces, things of that kind and if the momentum of the 'flap' is not right he has a massive screaming fit. He also hates our living room rugs corners to be out of place and gets angry if there is normal house mess like toys on the floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a lot of toys but does not play with them in a usual way and does not sustain interest in them even if I play cars with him - he will spin the wheels then chuck the car and walk away. He also has a permanent comfort blanket and bites it and also has a massive habit of biting me really hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He spins and rocks a lot as well. He can scream for hours for no obvious reason (common reasons checked for to no avail - hungry, thirsty, nappy, hurt, sick, bored, needs a cuddle etc.) He hates certain noises like raised voices and baby crying and will be very distressed by this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has had severe reflux which was medicated via hospital and though now has resolved (unless he is ill) he has massive feeding problems, hates solid foods and will only have limited foods. He is under hospital care for this but no progress so far, he has &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; had a solid poo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was also in hospital over the winter for breathing problems and very low O&lt;sub&gt;2&lt;/sub&gt;. He walked and sat on time. He plays alongside siblings mainly sometimes with but will not instigate any play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have requested to see a speech and language therapist but I am being given the run around. He was a very wanted child, he is loved by myself, husband and his siblings and we make sure he is not left out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had so many years of fighting with officials in regard to my older children so this time we have been proactive in seeking help when we have noticed issues with this child, but as I said we keep getting fobbed off. I would like to hear someone else's opinion on what they think could be if anything as it would be nice to know I'm not losing my remaining one brain cell!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not looking for a diagnosis, google diagnosis or using this in place of medical care or for any stupid reason (child is under hospital and dietician care). I'm purely seeking well intentioned advice and opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14820" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-29T12:39:47.040" LastActivityDate="2019-05-29T12:39:47.040" Title="How to get help for my non-verbal toddler who can get screamig fits?" Tags="|toddler|tantrums|speech|socialization|doctor|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19698" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-25T14:20:44.537" Score="10" ViewCount="1239" Body="&lt;p&gt;My granddaughter has lived with us (her grandparents) since she was 8 months. She is now four. My daughter and granddaughter have been with us for two and a half years  My daughter has been out of the picture for over a year due to drugs. We are in the adoption process now. She has been calling my husband and me &quot;mommy and daddy&quot; for over a year. We were told whatever she is comfortable using.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, just recently she refers to her mother as her other mommy and where is she. What do we say to her? Once adopted, there will be no contact unless her mother turns her life around. At this point she gets to see her for one hour, supervised, once a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want our granddaughter to have the best chance in life and want to say the right thing to her when she asks this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14823" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-25T16:17:54.520" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T07:03:02.300" Title="How should I answer when my granddaughter asks about her absent mother?" Tags="|pre-schooler|adoption|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19699" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-25T14:20:44.540" Score="0" ViewCount="296" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer&lt;/strong&gt; This will seem a very odd question to most of you, but it fits the topics of this site and I don't know anywhere else to ask it. In case you are wondering, what follows is perfectly serious. I am not trying to troll you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to ask if there is a place where a child can be fostered by &lt;strong&gt;professional education experts&lt;/strong&gt;, in a community, &lt;strong&gt;family-less institution&lt;/strong&gt;, with high standards and &lt;strong&gt;without second purposes&lt;/strong&gt; such as pushing a specific religion or a way of life onto them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why not an orphanage?&lt;/strong&gt; Something like an orphanage is a first approximation, but orphanages are usually a last choice for children, in terms of quality. Educators try to do their best with a high share of problematic, traumatized children. Since they do not have parents to answer to, they are not strictly controlled for the quality of their job. They are not the best paedagogy experts the market can offer, but a last resort for children who have no other alternatives. Moreover, orphanages are often run by religious institutes, which have their own beliefs to advance. Think something more like a &lt;strong&gt;permanent non-religious boarding school&lt;/strong&gt; which goes from 0 to 18 years than an orphanage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why not a step-family?&lt;/strong&gt; Step- and foster-parents are also universally seen as a second choice. The child would still grow up in a family-like environment, not with professionals, with all the inefficiencies I perceive in the family model. Foster-parents are not experts in any sense of the meaning, and may feel less emotional attachment to the step-child (especially if they have other children of their own). The child would know that they are in an &quot;inferior&quot; arrangement than their school friends. To sum up, for the child, a step-family has all the cons of a biological family, and less pros.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why not a commune?&lt;/strong&gt; Mostly, because of the people. People in communes often have their own peculiar view of life and personal beliefs to advance. The leading principle is &quot;we grow up our children, together, our way&quot;; not &quot;we have professionals grow up our children in the best possible way&quot;. If I were to join a commune as a parent, I'd have to take my share of the burden of educating and caring after children, probably in equal shares with the other members, and I don't feel qualified. I could fit a role in which I teach them lectures in my area of expertise, but I don't think I am the right person for taking care of a child 24/7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why am I asking this?&lt;/strong&gt; This is a theoretical question; I have no children and I am not expecting any. But the answer is &lt;em&gt;for my own child, potentially&lt;/em&gt;. I do not believe in the traditional family model. I find it inefficient and dangerous for the children: most parents are not well qualified to grow a child, in my opinion, and I am no better than them. I would like to try a more centralized institution, an alternative to the family model in which children grow up as their parent wish. I realize that this may be costly, but raising a child in any other possible way is expensive, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have I read too many science-fiction books?&lt;/strong&gt; Perhaps. This is completely different from the traditional view of family. But with 6 billion people in the world, I would be  surprised if no one ever tried something like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my question is if such a place/institute exists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there any institution that does this in the world?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am based in Europe, so a European solution would be most welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not trying to discuss the merits of this view with respect to a traditional family; this would be &lt;em&gt;subjective and argumentative&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;too broad&lt;/em&gt; for a Q/A site. I am just looking for pointers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14821" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T17:12:10.273" Title="Can children be educated without a family by professionals?" Tags="|education|family-activities|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19697" CreationDate="2015-04-25T15:32:00.163" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're not losing your &quot;one remaining brain cell&quot;. You are absolutely right in wanting the child tested for anything and everything, and with the signs you discuss, I have no idea why your requests aren't being carried out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what exactly is going on with your child, a parent's feeling that something is not right is one of the most reliable criteria that there &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; something amiss. And as more and more studies show, the earlier it's diagnosed and intervention started, the better the outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm based in the US; maybe someone in the UK can be more helpful to you. In the US, hearing tests can be done at any time, and tests for autism can start at 18 months of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot imagine why your doctor is fobbing you off. Ask again, and if no response, insist on a second opinion (preferably a specialist in children with developmental disorders) as soon as possible. While you wait to see the specialist, gather evidence of a hearing impairment, a highly sensitive child, or possible autism by reviewing video recordings which will show attainment or delay of developmental milestones, social emotional function or dysfunction - look especially for communication (speech, indication of what he wants - pointing, etc - or lack thereof), silent play vs. play with others, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please look for other clues that she's easily disturbed by bodily sensations, such as certain kinds of shirts, labels on her shirts, a reluctance to try or eat new foods, and, among other things, a strong (if charming) desire for strict-ish routines. If he shows any of these signs (it appears that he does), please read about the &quot;highly sensitive child&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This PDF called the &lt;a href=&quot;http://drhart.net/clinic/forms/Denver%20II%20Developmental%20Milestones.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Denver Developmental II&lt;/a&gt; scale. It represents normal milestones in development and is used around the world. You can start with these milestones in mind. Also, &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarcommons.usf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=5731&amp;amp;context=etd&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;a rather long paper on seeking assessments for children&lt;/a&gt; lists other checklists you may be able to find online as well (Appendix C, p. 292).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep advocating for your child, and don't worry about whether you're right or wrong. The truth is that your child's communication skills are delayed, and that in itself merits investigation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarcommons.usf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=5731&amp;amp;context=etd&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parent Pathways: Recognition and Responses to Developmental Delays in Young Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-25T15:50:50.393" LastActivityDate="2015-04-25T15:50:50.393" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19697" CreationDate="2015-04-25T18:29:13.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we were heading towards a diagnosis for our eldest son (in the UK as well) one of the things we did was to go private for an audiology test so we could rule that out. We needed this step fast to get the autism statement moving before school started so we could get special needs assistance in place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course we were lucky to be in a position to afford it, but just so you know it cost us about £90 (three years ago). If it's an option for you it would cut off waiting around for audiology once the GPS starts paying attention -  assuming they do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6901" LastActivityDate="2015-04-25T18:29:13.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19702" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-25T19:06:39.717" Score="10" ViewCount="822" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old daughter is not going to bed at a decent time. We have a routine in place: dinner at 6, story time at 7, bath time at 7:30. 8 is quiet down time and 8:30 is bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem: she won't go to sleep until 2 in the morning. She goes to school during the week and gets up every day at 6 am, and has plenty of energy all day. At school they had nap time for 2 hours and I had them stop letting her take a nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's going on 6 months now, she just turned 4 two months ago. I'm at my wits end. I talked to our family doctor and he gave her allergy meds and said with this it should help her fall asleep. But it wakes her up even more. I stopped giving it to her because she wont go to sleep until 5 am then get up at 6.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's not getting enough sleep, I'm not getting enough sleep, and I'm totally drained. What can I do? Please help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14826" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-26T01:25:12.287" LastActivityDate="2015-04-26T21:15:28.427" Title="Not so sleeping beauty at 4 years old" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19696" CreationDate="2015-04-25T19:09:24.830" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My approach in a similar situation: There is an appropriate &quot;costume&quot; or dresscode &lt;em&gt;for every occasion&lt;/em&gt;, not only for formal events. Shoveling snow? Business meeting? Scuba diving? Your wedding? None of them exactly a jeans-and-t-shirt day, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So make clear that every member of the family dresses appropriately for the day, depending on what's scheduled. Don't fuss, this is just matter of fact. If you praise clothing, compliment on everyday occasions as well: &quot;That shirt looks good on you! That colour goes well with your eyes / hair / some accessoire!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My children own three types of clothing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;&lt;strong&gt;Good clothes&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; for festive occasions, but we take care that they get worn not only on very &quot;strict &amp;amp; boring&quot; occasions, but also on reasonably fun yet festive events. There is always a birthday, Easter, Christmas visit to the grandparents (where they will have nothing but fun and candy, sigh)... Input is appreciated, but Mom has final authority on what to wear. Hint: Choose wisely when shopping and whichever combination child chooses will be ok - leaving them feeling in control and parents sane.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;&lt;strong&gt;Town clothes&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; for school, shopping trips, doctors visits and other outings. We call them town clothes because where we live, the kids play a lot outside and usually wear clothes from the next category. This is where child gets to choose what to wear, but Mom keeps the right to veto if the choice is really, really too, aehm, eccentric.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;&lt;strong&gt;Outdoor or play clothes&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;, which have the occasional stain, tear (mended) or other sign of wear. This are the clothes where Mom doesn't care if one climbs trees, mucks a stable or plays soccer in. This is where they have highest degree of freedom: A few days ago daughter decided to wear a bright orange dinosaur shirt with a pair of fuchsia jeans. I can still feel my retina peeling from the view, but so be it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, this does not mean that you have to spend a lot of money. Especially in the first two categories there is some overlap: A good pair of pants can be dressed up with a dress shirt or dressed down with a t-shirt. A school jeans worn with a shirt and tie is good enough for all but the most formal occasions. A basic turtelneck is really versatile. Work with what you have. Accesoires help a lot to set the tone of an outfit and are quite cheap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(The last category basically fills itself automatically in my experience...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-04-25T19:15:48.107" LastActivityDate="2015-04-25T19:15:48.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12342" CreationDate="2015-04-25T20:20:53.113" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is good to hear you want to help your wife.&#xA;I have 4 children aged 3 and under plus 2 older so I understand.&#xA;If you and your wife have family that could help out in any way whilst you are at work then let them help don't feel guilty as the adjusting period won't last for long.&#xA;If you take lunch to work prepare it yourself, the same with breakfast and dinner and if you can whilst making yours make your wife and kids something to eat.&#xA; Also realise when you come home from a hard days work your house will likely be messy BUT your children would have been taken care of well.&#xA;Perhaps when you come home if you could deal with the older children and their night time routine, read them a story (re affirming your father/child bond) then when they are asleep you can have cuddle time with your new born and your wife could sit down for half an hour and relax or take a shower/bath.&#xA;At weekends if possible maybe one day let your wife have a lay in and you deal with the household and the other day you have the lay in?&#xA;Make sure you both take the time to just sit and talk to each other because lack of sleep, screaming toddlers, work and life in general can make you both snappy and it can seem like you are living in a stress fog, but again this won't last for long- the little ones will grow and get into an easier routine for you both.&#xA;Good luck and congratulations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14825" LastActivityDate="2015-04-25T20:20:53.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19702" CreationDate="2015-04-25T20:36:41.987" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had the sleeping issue with 2 of my children and the reasons were different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anything changed recently? Move? New school? Even a growth spurt? Or it could just be a phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep to your routine, but see if maybe putting her to bed an hour or two later and then wake her at her usual time in the morning helps anything.&#xA;Decide on a time limit on how long you can deal with this (e.g a month) and if the putting to bed later suggestion fails go to your doctor and discuss and make sure there is no health related issue contributing towards this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for you, although probably not convenient like having a new born — go to bed when she does, take a nap whenever you can, enlist family to watch her for an hour if you can so you can nap, eat well and take multivitamins to keep your strength up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is hard but won't last forever. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14825" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-26T01:35:50.260" LastActivityDate="2015-04-26T01:35:50.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19698" CreationDate="2015-04-25T20:53:44.950" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, you have done a fantastic thing caring for your granddaughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say use age appropriate responses as near to the truth without making it too much and only when she asks, making sure your granddaughter does not feel blame or responsibility for her mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 4, maybe a response could be, &quot;your other mommy is not feeling very well and has to get fixed but she loves you so much she wants me and your grandfather to love and take care of you because you are a very special girl.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sure during the adoption process you will have access to social workers and specialists that can help you with answering these questions as your granddaughter grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14825" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-25T23:56:25.463" LastActivityDate="2015-04-25T23:56:25.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1533" CreationDate="2015-04-25T22:55:13.677" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not a parent of an identical twin here- but one myself. My brother and I are so identical that even our parents and five (yes, five) older brothers can't tell us apart quite frequently. Of course, we purposely wear similar clothing and are very similar in personality, as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we were born, our parents were prepared for twins and actually just grabbed a nontoxic marker and drew a little star right on my brother's (the older one) hand, and kept it that way for several months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An unrelated fact is that for some reason, we have the same first name. And actually go by that name half of the time, though we do use our middle names as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14829" LastActivityDate="2015-04-25T22:55:13.677" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19702" CreationDate="2015-04-26T00:55:06.743" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people naturally need less sleep, and that can manifest as early as childhood. With that said, is it possible that your daughter simply isn't getting enough exercise?  I had terrible insomnia throughout childhood and learned as I got older that I require a high level of exercise throughout the week in order to sleep at nights.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my children are wakeful at night --which is often --I sometimes put them through an intensive round of physical activity:  Jumping on the mini trampoline, wheelbarrow around the house and up the stairs, jumping jacks, laps around the house, etc.  The majority of the time that does the trick.  Of course, it's better to be active outside during the day instead, but in the event that hasn't happened, or if it isn't enough, this can definitely help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-04-26T00:55:06.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19702" CreationDate="2015-04-26T04:39:28.177" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you say &quot;She's not getting enough sleep&quot;, what do you mean by that? Is your meaning limited to &quot;She's not getting the recommended/customary about of sleep&quot;, or is there any impact on her personality or behavior since this started?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you talked to her to ask her if there's some reason she doesn't want to sleep? Can she explain what's going on in her head when she's lying in bed awake? She's not a neurologist but kids can be surprisingly good at coming up with metaphors for how they're feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she's awake, if you try to leave her alone, is she constantly bothering you, or will she sit in her room quietly and read / draw / play with stuffed animals or something else? How does &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; feel about being awake -- is she happy, frustrated, desperate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was that age I would intermittently be awake until 2am, 3am or later. I described it to my parents as my brain running and running and not wanting to calm down. They suggested several mental relaxation exercises -- those relaxed me but didn't help me sleep. Eventually we found out it was a food sensitivity -- certain foods prevent my brain from damping down its own excitement (the daytime symptom was hyperactivity). Adjusting my diet solved both the hyperactivity and the insomnia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Standard disclaimer: Your daughter is different than me; her problem is probably not the same as mine; diet-induced hyperactivity and insomnia is rare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I didn't include this anecdote to suggest a solution to the problem; I included it to show that  (a) there is probably some physical reason for it--she isn't just &quot;being difficult&quot;; (b) it's going to be hard to find out what that reason is; (c) she probably has some inkling as to what's wrong but can't express it; (d) this probably won't damage or even affect her at all in the longterm; (e) show you care and don't get overly upset about it -- be available within reason but don't overexert yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9191" LastEditorUserId="9191" LastEditDate="2015-04-26T21:15:28.427" LastActivityDate="2015-04-26T21:15:28.427" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19713" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19715" CreationDate="2015-04-27T01:51:10.517" Score="3" ViewCount="711" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine has a baby girl thats been in disposable diapers for about 4 months. Recently she made the switch to cloth diapers which has been fine expect she noticed that her baby won't pee in them. The baby will hold it until the cloth diaper is removed at which point she will pee. When my friend puts her baby back in disposable diapers there is no peeing issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions besides infant potty training?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14837" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T12:35:47.510" Title="Baby girl won't pee in cloth diapers" Tags="|cloth-diaper|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19714" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19716" CreationDate="2015-04-27T12:02:50.160" Score="42" ViewCount="20125" Body="&lt;p&gt;My aspiration is to give my daughter experiences of boys and girls toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My background is that I work as a software engineer and had experiences of LEGO, Meccano, programming and sci-fi movies. I don't want to hold that stuff back from my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has decided at an early age (2) that she is a &quot;girly girl&quot; who likes pink, princesses, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Perhaps - what is the bounds of her and my responsibility on this issue?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-28T22:21:57.037" LastActivityDate="2018-01-20T07:33:18.570" Title="I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?" Tags="|gender|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="24" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19713" CreationDate="2015-04-27T12:35:47.510" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The root cause may be that the baby is more sensitive to wet diapers, and therefore holds back. Cloth diapers generally feel more wet than disposables from the same amount of fluid; disposables are designed to draw all the moisture away and bind it in gels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are probably only a few options, none of which seem really great to me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Go back to disposables.&lt;/strong&gt; I don't really like this on a personal level, I'm pro-cloth — but only so long as it's working for the parents and child, and it seems like the baby isn't a fan of cloth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Look for a different cloth diaper.&lt;/strong&gt; The &quot;traditional&quot; cloth diaper (also called a prefold) is just a cotton cloth folded around the baby's bottom. These make amazing burp cloths, but they will very quickly feel damp and cold once wet. Some other cloth diaper designs (fitted diapers or all-in-one diapers) still use the same basic design, but with integrated snaps and elastic for easier fit (and less leg leakage) — they'll still feel wet quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible that a &lt;em&gt;pocket diaper&lt;/em&gt;, which has an absorbent cotton insert covered by a fleece lining, would provide enough of a buffer that the baby wouldn't notice (or wouldn't be as bothered) when she's wet. There are also different brands of pocket diapers, one of which might be &quot;dryer&quot; than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The downside is that cloth diapers are expensive and buying a different brand may not even solve the problem. An interim experiment could be to sew a light fleece layer into one of the cloth diapers and see if that makes any noticeable difference for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consider potty training.&lt;/strong&gt; Baby seems ready, there are less diapers to wash, and every other mom will be jealous ;) However, it's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-toilet-training.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;more work&lt;/a&gt; with a child who's too young to even sit up easily, compared to a toddler who can crawl or walk to the potty and is able to help remove pants.... and you did say options &lt;em&gt;besides&lt;/em&gt; potty training! Consider this the option of last resort.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T12:35:47.510" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-27T13:32:19.763" Score="82" Body="&lt;p&gt;Offer her more, different things. And if she likes pink, then just let her be pink!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sure you are not holding &quot;boy&quot;-things away from your daughter, but if she doesn't care or them, that's life and how your daughter is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certain LEGO play sets&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; may still catch her attention (just find something pink).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But above all, keep in mind: While having girls, and later women, no longer restricted to their classical roles, that is still where at least some of them will be most happy. As long as you show her that there &lt;strong&gt;are&lt;/strong&gt; other paths she may choose, and she just chooses differently, you are on the right path yourself!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;There are several current LEGO themes targeted at girls: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lego.com/en-us/friends&quot;&gt;Friends&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lego.com/en-us/elves&quot;&gt;Elves&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lego.com/en-us/disneyprincess&quot;&gt;Disney Princess&lt;/a&gt;. There are also DUPLO sets (for younger children) in the Disney Princess theme. Lastly, there is a wide variety of &lt;a href=&quot;http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Girls-ByCategory&quot;&gt;&quot;girl&quot;&lt;/a&gt; sets, which have &lt;strong&gt;plenty of pink&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T09:25:29.417" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T09:25:29.417" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-27T15:14:23.950" Score="50" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a difference between &lt;em&gt;exposing&lt;/em&gt; children to the various things life has to offer and &lt;em&gt;forcing&lt;/em&gt; your choices on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with pink princesses or other &quot;girly girl&quot; things.  So, show her what's available but respect &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; preferences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;edit&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Just noticed this part of the question:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;what is the bounds of her and my responsibility on this issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your responsibility is to show her the possibilities.  Her responsibility is to decide what her preferences are.  If she doesn't like Star Wars, that's really no big deal - believe it or not but a lot of people don't like Star Wars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my kids likes playing the guitar, another likes skateboarding.  One likes steak, another prefers chicken.  One loves broccoli, another won't even look it without pretending to gag.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's just life.  For whatever reason we have our own preferences.  Sometimes they change daily, sometimes we keep them for our entire life.  The tldr is simply don't force things on your child.  Show them what's available and let them explore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9005" LastEditorUserId="9005" LastEditDate="2015-04-29T14:42:41.057" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T14:42:41.057" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-27T15:58:11.190" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Play with her.  Play by yourself. Model the behavior you expect from her. Give her access to other role models that exhibit the behavior you want her to experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may never choose to play with them, but with new toys she may be confused or unfamiliar with them and not understand what her relationship and behavior towards them should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So sit down and play with them yourself.  Watch the movies with her (if you feel they are appropriate) so she understands where they come from and what they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then play with her with them.  Incorporate them into her play style.  If she's having a tea party, include the tie-fighter as one of her guests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind, however, that she's at a very young age and star wars toys are not geared for her age group.  It's not necessarily an issue of gender, so much as an issue of development, fine motor skills, reasoning, and hand-eye coordination.  There are many fine details in these models that make them interesting beyond the simple color palette.  But for a young child these details may not be meaningful, and thus a more inviting color palette is needed for them to be attracted to the toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But above all, children at this age tend to mimic what they see, so if you have a desire that she exhibit certain behavior, you need to model it yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T15:58:11.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-27T16:21:51.530" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a really simple trick for this, and I've used it to encourage &quot;outside toys&quot; vs &quot;inside toys&quot;, &quot;quiet toys&quot; vs &quot;loud toys&quot;, etc - even if my child really wanted only one type (and I wanted them to have the other for some reason). This also works for &quot;stereotypical type A&quot; vs &quot;stereotypical type B&quot;, and it seems to work equally well with boys and girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a trip to the toy store/section with your child, letting them know they will get to pick out a toy! Depending on age, I usually add a price range restriction (under $10, under $20, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expect to spend a while and have fun, and encourage them to look at the variety of options. When they make a pick of the same class they usually do that I don't want them to limit themselves to (what a surprise, more Pokemon cards...), I say, &quot;Well, you have a lot of toys like that one, don't you? Do you want a different type of toy?&quot; If they are insistent (mine often are, as I think hardheadedness is genetically heritable...must get it from my father, right?), I pull out my secret weapon - &quot;OK, I'll make you a deal - I'll buy you that toy, AND I'll buy you a second toy of a different kind!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you take them to the different isle/section, and point them to the variety and let them pick from that set of toys. Now your child won't feel the need to cling to the one thing they want, sense they get to have it and they get a 'free' bonus toy for trying something new. Since they get to pick it out themselves, they'll be more likely to play with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've used this technique successfully to get toys for a trip, toys for quiet time, toys that aren't guns/swords, toys that aren't more Pokemon cards, outside toys, books, you name it. The kid gets what they want, what they expected, and they get something extra - which is what you wanted the whole time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can then leave them to their own devices, and/or play with them and help them see new and different ways to have fun with all kinds of toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line, whatever you do, don't stress out over it - playing with barbies doesn't rob people of their ability to program or do math, nor does loving Star Wars give them the ability to be a software engineer (I have to remind myself this a lot, only with Monty Python). They are toys, they are supposed to be fun and help kids expand and improve their understanding of the world - and that can happen regardless of whether or not the toy is pink or camouflaged. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter ends up really loving one color, you might see if she'd like to paint other toys that color with you. If your child just loves yellow and there are no canary-yellow-sweater-wearing Storm Troopers, then we both know what you have to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a deep breath, and have a good time enjoying whatever toy your child picks. They'll likely start enjoying music you find god-awful soon enough, so enjoy these times while you can!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9984" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T16:21:51.530" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-27T16:48:16.757" Score="64" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Boys ≠ girls&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I had mine, one of the things I found really surprising (which with hindsight should have been obvious) is that &lt;strong&gt;girls and boys are not the same&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had always assumed tabula rasa, but this doesn't appear to hold water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My little girl will be happy for an hour playing imaginative games with talking ponies. When she gets together with friends they will stand around talking quietly about this and that. Sometimes they will try on dresses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not to say that boys can't play like girls and girls like boys, it's just that for the most part they don't seem to want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will always encourage my little girl to be tough and brave, which she is, but given the choice between a pink pony and an Arduino robot, she'll take the pony every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Also children ≠ other children&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also remember that regardless of gender, all children are different. My eldest son is not the least bit interested in electronics but loves chess. My middle son loves to cuddle and read, and loves taking laptops to pieces. My girl loves princesses and ponies, but also loves fighting and nerf.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They all have preferences which are partially influenced by gender, but also seem to be mysteriously innate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Adapt your offering to the market&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are ways to get your girl playing with boys toys, you just have to be clever about how you present them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Girl lego - is actually rather cool. Yes it has horses and princesses, but it also teaches about modular construction. We might build a castle together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Princess Leia - She has untapped force powers plus she's a princess (now we also have Rey).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Girl &lt;a href=&quot;http://scratch.mit.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Scratch&lt;/a&gt; - you can build anything in scratch, even a pony dress up game.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play apparatus - We have a bar in the hall that the kids swing on. We have Nerf wars. We go to the park. Present her with opportunities  to develop physical and mental toughness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember she is a unique individual and will like what she likes. You can't force her to like something, but you can make learning fun for her by framing it cleverly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2018-01-20T07:33:18.570" LastActivityDate="2018-01-20T07:33:18.570" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19721" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-27T16:55:49.270" Score="2" ViewCount="2946" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son can cry all day when told no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very tiring and I don't know what more to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its an everyday thing with him. I try putting him in time out which is his bed and it gets worse . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He throws tantrums where he throws his blankets and screams.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14848" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-29T21:51:55.687" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T05:35:14.413" Title="My son cries for 30-45 minutes when told &quot;No&quot;" Tags="|crying|tantrums|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-27T16:57:22.230" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember her interests may change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was very young (3~6) I bought into pink, white, purple color schemes, kittens, barbie and girly things because it was what was fed to me.  My favorite colors started to change around 7~9 to blue and green which have remained pretty consistent.  Also around that time I watched jurassic park, so I ditched most girly stuff for dinosaurs, monsters, and general videogame stuff.  Though I watched it, Star Wars isn't really my favorite franchise.  As above people suggested, she may have interests that cross over in some place and not others.  It's good that you don't say &quot;no&quot; to crossover.  Eventually she will start developing her own interests, letting her know it's okay to like a variety versus what is marketed to her is a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14847" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T16:57:22.230" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-27T17:25:21.627" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can help your daughter remove artificial limits without denying essential parts of her nature.  Much more important than what you give her or tell her is what you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the best gifts I ever gave my younger daughter (also a girly-girl 5 year-old) was a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.katydidandkid.com/2014/05/a-kids-tinkering-kit.html&quot;&gt;tinker kit&lt;/a&gt;.  Not only for what she makes alone using it, but for the opportunities it opens up.  She sees me using my screwdriver, excitedly leaves the room and reappears with her own screwdriver, asking to help.  Her tinker kit is a clear, ongoing signal to her that I value her participation in those sorts of activities with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't create interests out of thin air.  Look for things she already shows an interest in, and try to parlay that into a STEM activity.  For example, my daughter showed interest in a voice modulator she saw on a TV show, so I bought a kit for us to build together.  She has been showing interest in fashion design, so I asked if she might be interested in doing some &lt;a href=&quot;https://learn.sparkfun.com/tutorials/tags/e-textiles&quot;&gt;e-textiles&lt;/a&gt; with me.  Doing things together is key if you want to expand interests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she like Star Wars?  Not really, but of all the &quot;boy things&quot; I've introduced her to, that's one of the least important in terms of her ongoing success.  I want her to know that I value her preferences and opinions, and if she chooses the girly-girl things in life, that's fine.  I just also want her to have enough exposure that it's truly a choice, and not because she feels she was never suited for anything else, or is only choosing it to meet her parents' expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T17:25:21.627" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19721" CreationDate="2015-04-27T17:34:36.440" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is a natural thing for babies and young children to cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a child will cry when it has a genuine problem or need, like being hungry or soiled. If you anticipate these needs by feeding on a set schedule and changing right away, you can eliminate or at least greatly reduce need-based crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other times a child may cry for a wanton desire. For example, the child may want to eat, even though he is not really hungry. He just wants to put food in his mouth for the sake of it. Or he may want to play with something he is not allowed, and so on. It is very important to ignore such crying. If you react to wanton crying he will just do it more to get you to work for him unjustly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a child may cry due to a complaint. To use your own example, you &quot;put him to bed&quot; and he is not tired so he cries and complains. Or perhaps you confine him in a crib, and he cries because he does not want to be trapped in a crib. These are legitimate cries, because by doing such things you are answering &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; needs, not his. If a child is crying because you are imposing on him in some way, ask yourself, &quot;does he really need this, or am I doing this for my convenience?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastEditorUserId="7579" LastEditDate="2015-04-27T17:46:42.547" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T17:46:42.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3584" CreationDate="2015-04-27T17:42:34.480" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer: if the child has a genuine need, crying should &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; be ignored. If the child is crying willfully or for a selfish reason, it should be ignored. Longer answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes a child will cry when it has a genuine problem or need, like being hungry or soiled. If you anticipate these needs by feeding on a set schedule and changing right away, you can eliminate or at least greatly reduce need-based crying. In any case, when the child has a genuine physical or emotional need, it should be answered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other times a child may cry for a wanton desire. For example, the child may want to eat, even though he is not really hungry. He just wants to put food in his mouth for the sake of it. Or he may want to play with something he is not allowed, and so on. It is very important to ignore such crying. If you react to wanton crying he will just do it more to get you to work for him unjustly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a child may cry due to a complaint. For example, if you put a small child to bed and he is not tired, he may cry and complain. Or perhaps you confine him in a crib, and he cries because he does not want to be trapped in a crib. These are legitimate cries, because by doing such things you are answering &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; needs, not his. If a child is crying because you are imposing on him in some way, ask yourself, &quot;does he really need this, or am I doing this for my convenience?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child cries out of loneliness or isolation, it should always be answered and comforted. For this reason, it is wise to let the child sleep with you until it moves out on its own. Putting young children by themselves in empty rooms or remote cribs for long periods of time is traumatizing and should never be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T17:42:34.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16392" CreationDate="2015-04-27T17:55:17.857" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever there are complex crying situations where the child is crying for one person or not another or exhibiting other complex behaviors, inevitably what that means is that you are paying him too much due, in other words, spoiling him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children have very simple needs: food, drink, being held. You should answer those needs. What you should not do is react to wanton crying or other manipulative behavior. When you do that, the child begins to see it as a game or a challenge: how can I get the grownup to do X, Y, and Z? Don't even go there, your time is too valuable for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your particular situation, it is likely it would be difficult to unravel all the subtle nuances of the current &quot;game&quot; being played between the three of you, but at the end of the day, it is better not to try to find your way out of this psychological maze; just stop paying attention to the child unless he has a legitimate need, and the problem will go away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I should probably discuss a caveat: the engaging parent problem. In some cases, a child may find one parent much more interesting than the other. For example, if one parent teaches and interacts with the child much more than the other, then the child can become attached to the interesting parent and start to resent the dull parent. This can lead to tantrums if the child is left alone with the dull parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution to this problem is two fold. Firstly, (1) the dull parent needs to ramp up their interaction with the child by talking to it and setting aside specific time periods for interactive play and education. (2) the interesting parent needs to limit their interaction to specific time periods and sessions. If the child thinks the interesting parent will engage with them whenever they are present, then the child will want the interesting parent to be present &lt;strong&gt;continuously&lt;/strong&gt; at their beck and call. That is exactly what you do not want. To fix this, the interesting parent should only engage during specific and set lesson times and never outside those times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastEditorUserId="7579" LastEditDate="2015-04-27T18:04:27.430" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T18:04:27.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16186" CreationDate="2015-04-27T19:48:41.933" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Girls may identify with the female princess characters and may adopt some of the ideals associated with them.  I find some of the problem is when adults indulge them in the fantasy of them being a princess (and expecting to be given gifts and etc).  I think it will be inevitable that children will watch them, but important to also let them see movies that aren't as princess-polarized, and not pushing a self-centered princess fantasy onto them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14847" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T19:48:41.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="749" CreationDate="2015-04-27T21:23:19.110" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The earlier answers are way too complicated for a parent in the U.S. seeking practical advice.  So here goes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I taught in mixed, all-girls, and all-boys high schools, and substituted in middle schools, and I can say categorically, at least at the middle and high-school level, that for the vast majority of students, &lt;strong&gt;the best classroom is the one with the highest possible number of girls.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For boys in virtually any subculture in the U.S., the presence of girls is a moderating/civilizing influence, making the classroom easier to manage and thus to learn in.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For girls, the absence of boys increases civility with the aforementioned benefits, with the added benefit that they are dramatically more likely to get the teacher's attention and high expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really that simple.  I have little doubt that my observations apply equally to college undergrad.  I'm less sure about elementary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Full disclosure:&lt;/strong&gt; not atypically for public school teachers, who send their own children to private schools at &lt;strong&gt;twice&lt;/strong&gt; the rate of the general population (&lt;em&gt;think about that before you send your precious little one to public school, please&lt;/em&gt;), I spend a large percentage of my after-tax income to send my daughter to an all-girls school.  I believe she's worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14855" LastActivityDate="2015-04-27T21:23:19.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6119" CreationDate="2015-04-28T05:03:06.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Replace the doorknob with one that doesn't lock.  Let the teen know that after a certain number of minutes (during the high-traffic time of day), others will be free to come in and use the facilities -- even to the point of co-showering!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But please, definitely, allow relaxed showering at some other time of day.  The relaxation and opportunity for day dreaming, problem solving, etc., are priceless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T05:03:06.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19617" CreationDate="2015-04-28T05:26:57.590" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Glad you mentioned the eczema.  This could be a factor.  Perhaps you could work on this -- let us know if you'd like some suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would expect a 14mo old to be taking only one nap per day.  Dr Spock has a great section on helping a baby go from two naps to one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to try a Didymos-type wrap -- here are some images: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sabcollective.com/?p=1259&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.sabcollective.com/?p=1259&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;One of my children had a great deal of difficulty ramping down to go to sleep, and on a really difficult day I would wrap him up in this way, close the &quot;curtains&quot; of the wrap, sing, and walk up and down the hall for a few minutes.  He did cry for a couple of minutes -- he wanted to stay awake and not miss a moment of action! -- but this method was the most painless for all concerned.  Once he was asleep I could kneel down, lean forward until he was lying on his back on the low bed, and untie in the back, until we were untangled enough for me to stand up.  The tie would remain tangled with him on the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea is, if he's lying on his side, jiggle his shoulder, vigorously if necessary.  It will be kind of like how some adults love falling asleep on a moving train.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps some ambient sound will be helpful.  We have a Sound Scape; you press a different button and get a different sound loop, such as white noise, heartbeat, waves on a beach, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might like to read about sensory integration, and try to figure out if there's some sensory defensiveness or sensory seeking going on.  That could give you some ideas about how to satisfy his sensory needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets older, you may be able to help him learn to release his tension before falling asleep in a less frightening way, by letting out a long, audible sigh during the exhale.  I'm not sure how old he'll need to be to start learning this, but when the time comes, model it for him, and hope that he copies you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you notice any patterns in terms of what increases or reduces the crying before sleeping?  For example, being short on sleep, having had a lot of stimulation or frustration, fresh air, exercise, boredom, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does your toddler get screen time?  If so, how much, and what sort?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T05:26:57.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10480" CreationDate="2015-04-28T05:37:19.067" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give your child a child-sized sleeping bag and tell him that if needs company during the night, he can bring his pillow and sleeping bag into your room and sleep at the foot of your bed -- but he's not allowed to wake you up.  Give him a water bottle to keep by his bed in case he's thirsty during the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rule: no TV for the last hour before going to sleep.  If I were you, I'd give the TV away -- but if you don't want to do that, please limit the amount of time it is used per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At age two, you can probably eliminate the afternoon nap, and go for a slightly earlier bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Buy some baby liquid melatonin at the drug store and give it about 20 minutes before turning out the light.  Start with a small dose and see what is a good dose for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always read a couple of picture books before turning out the light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he wants company while falling asleep, you can safely listen to a podcast with earphones, but don't use a TV or computer -- the lights and images are too stimulating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Happy Z's!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T05:37:19.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19664" CreationDate="2015-04-28T05:46:46.313" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every child has his or her own developmental pattern.  My first, at 14 months, was exactly as you describe (except for the number of teeth).  He's a junior in college now.  My second started interacting with language and meaningful pointing around 12 months.  My mother said I only spoke three words (no, Mommy, mine) until I turned two -- and I ended up quite talkative!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my state, at least, you can contact the health department and ask for an early intervention evaluation.  The child's doctor needs to sign off so it can take place.  It is free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chewing on everything is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try reading simple picture books with her.  I remember the amazing moment my slow-to-talk baby first pointed at something in a book we were reading, and I saw his little gears turning.  What a thrill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your granddaughter is lucky to have such a devoted grandmother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T05:46:46.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19665" CreationDate="2015-04-28T06:03:44.353" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, it's time to turn down the emotional volume on this -- way down.  Also, if there are any remaining skin problems, let's resolve those ASAP.  (Zinc ointment, Aveeno baths, lots of naked bottom time -- with perhaps a dress on.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she wants to have a sleepover, she will figure out that she needs to find a way to leave the diaper at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, your daughter should be allowed to put on a pull-up whenever she feels the urge to poop, but she has to put it on herself.  Give her plenty of roughage (raw carrots, etc.), and maybe a bit of cooked prunes every day, so she doesn't go longer than 48 hours without pooping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try going &quot;camping&quot; -- you don't have to sleep outside overnight -- and you can all have fun squatting and peeing and pooping for a couple of days, to free her up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't quite catch whether you own a portable potty.  If you don't, buy one.  You can take it everywhere you go, you know.  You can let her use it in a stall if you're at a department store and she feels an urge.  Let her put a decorative sticker on it each time she produces a poop in the potty.  For now, she gets to decide where in the house she wants to sit on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can certainly consult a professional -- there's nothing to be afraid of.  You may even find that one visit is all you need!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get frustrated with the character limit on the comments, you can edit your original question, with a separating line, and the name of the person you're responding to, and even a handwritten time stamp if you like.  Clearly, you have a found a place where people empathize and want to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T06:03:44.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19741" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19687" CreationDate="2015-04-28T06:32:00.950" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she enjoys the reading comprehension worksheets, continue with those, otherwise scrap them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try some readers theater with her. You can also read ordinary easy reader books as though they were readers theater -- divvy up the characters between the two of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try a game where you read one sentence, she reads the next, you go next, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check out some books that have little or no text, but some very, very interesting illustrations. Discuss the illustrations together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Buy the Montroll Easy Origami book -- she'll have to understand the instructions to make the model.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choose a stuffed animal who has a somewhat dimwitted character, and take turns explaining to the animal what's happening in the story after each plot development.  Kind of like Elmo saying, &quot;Dorothy has a question.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T06:32:00.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19671" CreationDate="2015-04-28T06:42:45.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it better to make decisions for him, like I did with the clothes above, or to let him muddle around for a while? My wife and I are both not great 'deciders', so we'd like to give him the best shot at learning how to be decisive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry at this stage about whether he's going to turn out indecisive as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider that giving him the freedom to choose also means giving him the freedom to choose to be indecisive if he wants to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he shouldn't be allowed to drive you nuts or waste food.  Therefore:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;for now, find an alternative to cereal and milk for breakfast.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;set things up so that he can be as autonomous as possible, and so there is lots of opportunity for him to do things for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;for some meals, set out a simple smorgasbord, give him a plate, and let him take a little of this and that, eat that, and take a little more of this or that, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;let him do lots of pouring.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;do some cooking projects.  A two-year-old can do mixing, dumping (after you've done the measuring), etc.  Also there's a lot he can do with a microwave.  You can cut down some oven gloves to his size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if you don't have time for the super-carefully made decision, then it is fine to decide for him, but give him the opportunity to decide for himself.  Here's how you do it -- you say, &quot;Would you like the red cup or the blue cup?  (tiny pause) I'm going to count to three, and I'm going to decide for you.&quot;  And then do it.  &quot;One - - two - - (at a predictable rhythm) three - - blue.&quot;  If at that point he suddenly says, &quot;red,&quot; that's fine, let him have the red one.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(That was a pretty inauthentic example -- really, he should be getting his own cup.  You may have to turn your kitchen upside down for a while so that he can comfortably do this.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can model indecisiveness occasionally, so he can see that adults also face this difficulty at times.  This &lt;em&gt;normalizes&lt;/em&gt; what he's going through.  Amazingly, this really helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-04-28T06:48:04.927" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T06:48:04.927" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19698" CreationDate="2015-04-28T07:03:02.300" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an adopted child, so I can relate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Your first mother wasn't able to take care of you, so you came to live with Daddy and me.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where is her first mother?  &quot;I don't know where she is right now.  But we're going to see her on Tuesday.  Do you remember, we saw her last Tuesday?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Draw her family tree with her and put it on the wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show her a picture book with a pregnant woman, and talk about how much [insert name of first mother] wanted her to be born, and how much Mommy (you) and Daddy wanted her to be born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's say her first mother's name is Anna.  You could refer to her as &quot;Mama Anna&quot; or &quot;Mommy Anna.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow your granddaughter to feel some sadness occasionally about the loss of her first mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell her stories about her life, that you remember -- perhaps something about when she was born.  How surprised you were when she started walking, when you were least expecting it -- or whatever special memories you have about her.  Use plenty of humor.  Don't hesitate to repeat these stories as many times as she enjoys hearing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably do a lot of these things already -- in a forum like this, it's hard to make suggestions, because there's so little opportunity for give and take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breathe a sigh of relief when your adoption is final and you can put a stop to the constant rubbing of salt in your granddaughter's wound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's hope that over time, her first mother gets better and is able to be a positive in your granddaughter's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T07:03:02.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19699" CreationDate="2015-04-28T07:11:56.123" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Deciding to give birth to a child and raise it, despite all our shortcomings, doubts, philosophical objections, etc., etc., requires a huge leap of faith.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I became pregnant unexpectedly, and was full of doubt.  However, I was in week 14 when I discovered I was pregnant, and I discovered immediately that I wanted the baby more than anything I had ever wanted.  And I learned how to parent as I went.  The baby was my teacher!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may end up deciding to have a baby; you may end up deciding not to.  If you have one, your views about family structure may change as you go along.  I can't think of anything that has more potential to turn a life and a set of beliefs more upside down than having a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Carson McCullers wrote a story, &quot;A tree, a rock, a cloud,&quot; about learning to love a person step by step, by working up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might like to satisfy the parental urge in yourself, but without taking the plunge to take full responsibility for a child, by being a special person in some child's life.  In the U.S. there is an organization that sets up these relationships -- it's called Big Brothers, Big Sisters.  One commits for one year, but many &quot;Bigs&quot; end up continuing the relationship for several years.  You could read about this organization, and inspired by it, you could set up something similar for yourself, in a more informal way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T07:11:56.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-28T07:17:08.400" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children choose their toys according to what they want to learn. This is genuinely correlated with gender via factors that include social influences but also very critically the child's genes and the mother's hormone levels during pregnancy. Some children (primarily boys) prefer to play out violent conflicts. Others (primarily girls) prefer to play out harmonious situations. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982210014491&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Chimpanzee boys use sticks as weapons, chimpanzee girls use sticks as dolls.&lt;/a&gt; In the same way, children can play with mummy tank and daddy tank and their large family of Star Wars characters or wage war between the Barbie clan and an innocent looking princess wielding lightning bolts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though not allowing certain types of toys makes sense if they were designed to discourage imaginative play, enforcing the use of a particular kind usually does not. It's important to distinguish and understand the reasons for such rejection and take them seriously:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child has been conditioned to operate 'toys' that require no imagination; has lost the ability to play properly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Peer (or parent) pressure (&quot;boys/girls don't play with ...&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toy is not the best tool for the job (learning about a specific aspect of life the child is currently interested in).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13408" LastEditorDisplayName="user13408" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T09:56:37.070" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T09:56:37.070" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19390" CreationDate="2015-04-28T07:31:31.660" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two children, one who was VERY slow to night wean, and one who was a breeze (in that regard, only!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you set aside your anxiety about the future... can you and your spouse live with one night nursing for the time being?  In another month or two, you could try night weaning again.  Night weaning is hard on the father.  The baby can smell the mother, so father and baby need to be in a different room for the duration of this project.  Father may need to walk and sing, walk and sing, to get baby over the hump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he were wanting to nurse two or three times during the night, that would call for drastic, immediate action!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Power struggles in the middle of the night are not good for anyone in the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T07:31:31.660" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19721" CreationDate="2015-04-28T07:38:07.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Change the environment so you don't need to say &quot;No&quot; so much.  Consider that for every &quot;no&quot; you give the child now, you will get ten times this many &quot;NOs&quot; back before he makes it to adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if he pesters you to give him candy, and you say &quot;no&quot; -- the solution is, don't have any candy in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So many power struggles are not healthy for him or for your relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set up lots and lots of choices.  Situations where he is truly free to choose one or the other of the options.  For example, &quot;Would you like peas today and broccoli tomorrow, or broccoli today and peas tomorrow?&quot;  Or &quot;Would you please go choose a frozen vegetable for tonight's dinner?&quot;  Or &quot;You need to have a bath and put your lego away before our bedtime story.  You get to choose which order you do them in.&quot;  (Of course, the way you set it up depends on the age and maturity of the child.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T07:38:07.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19617" CreationDate="2015-04-28T08:46:00.407" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had this problem with my son as well. For us, the problem was that all of us got very stressed before going to sleep. Us anticipating yet another day of crying and hard work, him, on top of his own anticipation, feeling our stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is still hard for him to get to sleep but we fixed the stress problem by creating a routine that involves the usual suspects (bath, brushing teeth, reading and such) plus, telling each other what we did that day, and then singing songs. When he says he doesn't want to sleep (he's now 20 months old and talks a lot), we tell him it's not necesary to sleep, we are just going to lay down toghether in the dark and sing songs, or listen to music.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He now is anticipating the moment of going to bed together, and even if it still takes a long time, it's a shared very happy time together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14874" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T08:46:00.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-28T16:57:17.587" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try something different. Look at what she likes and try to add engineering. She likes to decorate? Build complex decorations with her. She likes to play dolls? Build a dollhouse with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's hard to change the subject they are interested in. It all depends on their environment, TV, books, personal likes and friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T09:08:13.260" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T09:08:13.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14946" CreationDate="2015-04-28T21:34:21.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only thing I want to add here (and I would have made it a comment, but I really want to draw more attention to it's importance) relates to this, which you have stated you are doing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;talk openly about changes to house and routine and how it's a hard transition. let her know she can feel sad, mad, scared and she is always safe with mom or dad and we love her unconditionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is so, so important. Implied but not expressly stated is the need to actually give the 3 year old child a vocabulary for naming all of her feelings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does a child tell you she feels &lt;em&gt;guilty&lt;/em&gt; about the separation, that she's &lt;em&gt;afraid that she wasn't good enough&lt;/em&gt; to keep you two together? How can she express that she's &lt;em&gt;terrified&lt;/em&gt; that if you can leave mommy, it also means you can leave her? How can she say that it's &lt;em&gt;bewildering&lt;/em&gt; to her when you try to reassure her saying you won't ever stop loving her, even though she sees with her own eyes that you've stopped loving mommy (to her, why else would you move out? She doesn't &lt;em&gt;identify with&lt;/em&gt; what it's like between adults?) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can't &lt;em&gt;empathize&lt;/em&gt; with you. Her world is a small place. She feels &lt;em&gt;powerless&lt;/em&gt;. Powerlessness is the most terrifying thing to a child who thinks the world revolves around her and that she has control of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those words are sophisticated, of course, but the emotions are not. They are primal. She needs to be able to name them before she can really deal with them through talking and activities that give her a better sense of control over the things she &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; control and the things she can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The references may be behind a paywall, but reading the abstracts might help you, and will give you ideas in your searches related to helping your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read about the effect of divorce on young children. Learn about programs that deal with this very issue. Avail yourself of their services and ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF00922773#page-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Resilient children, psychological wellness, and primary prevention&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psr.sagepub.com/content/8/3/308.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;It's Beyond My Control: A Cross-Temporal Meta-Analysis of Increasing Externality in Locus of Control, 1960-2002&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1365-2206.2007.00499.x/abstract?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&amp;amp;userIsAuthenticated=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;My life in care: experiences of non-participation in decision-making processes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1744-1617.2005.00007.x/abstract?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&amp;amp;userIsAuthenticated=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;FOSTERING RESILIENCE IN THE AFTERMATH OF DIVORCE: The Role of Evidence-Based Programs for Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=Wz8fSe2Vo2wC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PR1&amp;amp;dq=sense+of+control+in+young+children+of+divorce&amp;amp;ots=fkoH7R16pH&amp;amp;sig=7xxYmo56WTP2ouE59HUXKgln9UU#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=sense%20of%20control%20in%20young%20children%20of%20divorce&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Surviving The Breakup: How Children And Parents Cope With Divorce&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-28T21:34:21.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19757" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19761" CreationDate="2015-04-29T11:51:28.983" Score="16" ViewCount="4096" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to teach my kids how to use search engines as soon as they start asking questions. I think it's a good way for them to learn everything they want and to know that they are capable of knowing everything. I would like them to learn to try to find out things by themselves before asking me how to do something or what something means. Of course, when they can't figure something out I will help them immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it good to teach a young kid to use search engines like Google? Or should I teach them when they're older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14900" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-06T12:12:19.193" LastActivityDate="2019-04-06T12:12:19.193" Title="When to teach children to use search engines?" Tags="|age-appropriate|teaching|independence|internet|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19757" CreationDate="2015-04-29T12:04:01.107" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of our jobs as parents is teaching; using the internet to help with this task is fine, but before you do, teach them how to be safe when they're online.  Teach your kids about online safety (posting/chatting in threads or forums, responding to contact requests, how to safely use passwords, keeping personal information safe and secure).  It's never too soon for that, and if you want to turn 'em loose on the online universe, they'll need those skills sooner rather than later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, consider having them use a kid-safe search engine, to keep them from innocently wandering into the nastier swamps of the internet when you're not around.  Our first-grader uses &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safesearchkids.com/&quot;&gt;SafeSearchKids&lt;/a&gt; for her online searching; it skips some of the results that might come up with regular Google when they search for something that &lt;em&gt;seems&lt;/em&gt; innocuous to them but won't be on the internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate to say this, but honestly, it depends on the child.  Some children will take to that like a duck to water when they're barely old enough to find the letters on the keyboard, and some will take longer.  However, I STRONGLY suggest that you supervise them closely until you're confident that they know what to do and NOT to do on the internet*.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*Considering that some people have NEVER gained those skills, prepare yourself for a long haul.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T12:04:01.107" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2015-04-29T12:12:00.947" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm fairly surprised you find Super Why to be gender biased.  While the protagonist (I wouldn't say hero myself) is a white male, the women and pig play essential roles in every episode.  Further, each has a chance to be the one whose problem is being solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I second many of the other suggestions, but especially Peg + Cat.  PBS also has Word Girl which is another female lead, and a superhero to boot.  That may not be right for toddler though, but something to look to growing into.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T12:12:00.947" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19757" CreationDate="2015-04-29T12:24:21.200" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I strongly Agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/19758/11241&quot;&gt;Vaylkyrie's&lt;/a&gt; answer that you need to teach online safety above all. But as an addition: teach them by showing them!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;They ask something you don't know right off your head? Take them along on the way to figure it out. Also, don't limit that to online search.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you have a book that may cover the topic, go find the book, and see if the answer there. If you want to search online, get your kid onto your lap in front of the computer, and search.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Warning, though: that will dispel the illusion that &quot;Daddy knows EVERYTHING&quot;! &#xA;PS: Because of the quiet good question in the comment: that was really just a side-note. Also, it may be replaced by &quot;Daddy can FIND everything&quot;! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T12:34:39.840" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19757" CreationDate="2015-04-29T12:47:45.787" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before the days of the internet, parents tended to have a kind of God-like image in their child's mind and would be trusted to provide the right answers on a range of random topics that the child would be curious about. I often wonder how this works now with answers and information that is so easily accessible to everyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think part of the answer to this is that the parents still have an important role to play in teaching their child how to find the information that they are looking for. Teaching kids how to use search engines from a very young age may be more complicated than it seems. There are various difficulties in searching for information online:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child would need to be able to read, type and spell reasonably accurately which likely comes after the most intensive phase of &quot;why&quot; questions. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's not always easy to know which terms to put into a search to get the information you need (although probably easier than it used to be). The child may be more prone to putting in excessive peripheral words, without putting in the most important word to get the right answer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once the results appear, the child needs to know which sources are likely to be trustworthy and will give them the correct information - this probably can come best with supervised experience.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Similar to point 3, it can be difficult to know how deal with information overload when thousands of results come up - the child needs to know how to assimilate a few sources of information into something useful. This takes quite a level of comprehension which probably cannot be easily achieved by very young children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child manages to overcome all the obstacles to get a good result, I would think one of the disadvantages of using search engines as a first step would be that it doesn't encourage the child to think or work things out for themselves. My preferred approach, although my child is not old enough yet, would be to have a discussion about the question before heading to the internet for an answer. Talk about what the possible answers might be, why one might be more likely than another and then afterwards, have a look online for further information. If the kids become too reliant on the internet, they could end up using it for everything and then they will have trouble when they need to work something out for themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, searching for information online is a skill that will be needed in the modern world so it is important to teach and practise it to a moderate extent within your child's general learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as the other answers have said, it's important that the child uses the internet in a safe way and precautions taken to prevent them coming across things they shouldn't and they would still need to be supervised fairly closely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T12:47:45.787" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19757" CreationDate="2015-04-29T12:54:23.087" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 8, and I haven't taught him to use google yet, despite him having his own computer, but I have &lt;em&gt;shown&lt;/em&gt; him many times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My main reason is that getting a good result on a general search engine is a relatively difficult skill.  Getting a result on an appropriate level for an 8 year-old is even more difficult, especially on topics that schools typically wait to teach until middle school, which is a lot of interesting science and history nowadays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other reason is he still has problems formulating questions in a way a general search engine could understand.  For example, a couple days ago he was using some &lt;a href=&quot;http://stellarium.org&quot;&gt;astronomy software&lt;/a&gt; and asked me, &quot;Why is Venus going into the sun?&quot;  A search engine has no hope of interpreting that, but a parent can, with some clarifying questions.  He meant, &quot;Why does Venus have phases?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; taught him is how to use single-purpose single-site search engines, like the minecraft wiki and dictionary.com.  This greatly increases his odds of actually finding a useful result.  When it gets to a point where results relevant for his development start showing up on the first page of google, with a query he would think of, then I'll start expecting him to learn to do it on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T12:54:23.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19757" CreationDate="2015-04-29T13:01:56.823" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few obstacles:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ability to read, write, and spell.&lt;/strong&gt; Even a first- or second-grade student who's pretty good at reading and writing may struggle to input an unfamiliar word or spelling. Search engines can guess &lt;em&gt;did you mean [word]?&lt;/em&gt;, which may or may not be what they were actually trying to learn about. Search engines often now can use voice input instead of typed, but the accuracy of those can be amusingly bad. My seven-year-old invented a game called &quot;Confuse Google,&quot; where he asks it questions and laughs hysterically at what it searches for instead. It is funny, but it isn't useful for actually learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, hit results have to be read by the searcher — and most kids won't be able to independently interpret a highly scientific Wikipedia article about plants.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The internet is often wrong.&lt;/strong&gt; Search engines typically do a decent job of putting accurate information up towards the top of a result list. However, not even Wikipedia is a perfect resource (it can be sabotaged or biased), and there are plenty of incredibly incorrect resources (some well-meaning but misinformed, some satire) that most kids don't have the necessary background to distinguish from reputable, informative resources.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The internet isn't always available.&lt;/strong&gt; While smartphones and tablets are expanding the area in which you can Google an answer, there will always be moments when a question get asked and it can't be searched for at a particular time. (Car rides. Restaurants. Grandma's house. The park.) The attention span of kids is fairly short, and they'll often not bother remembering little questions for later when they &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; net-connected again.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What our family does is write down questions that come up in the car or when running errands, and then look them up together later. As parents, we answer to the best of our ability. If we don't know, we are willing to say, &quot;Hmmm, that's interesting, &lt;em&gt;I don't know&lt;/em&gt;. Let's write it down so we can look it up later.&quot; Later, we all search for it together (sometimes as part of the &quot;Confuse Google&quot; game) and so I get to learn along with the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think an additional advantage of using the parent as the initial resource for questions, beyond helping filter answers so they are age-appropriate and comprehensible, is gaining an understanding of what your kids are interested in. My son was asking a lot of questions about plant biology one month, and that eventually led to a present of some pots, soil, and bean seeds so he could explore the process himself. My daughter had &lt;em&gt;dozens&lt;/em&gt; of questions about a history topic that had been touched on briefly in class, and we ended up watching a lot of interesting related documentaries with her. &lt;strong&gt;Search engines can be a decent starting point, but look for opportunities to expand lessons beyond webpages.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T13:01:56.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2015-04-29T14:00:32.797" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally enjoyed the show &quot;Masha and the Bear&quot; and so does my daughter. The two protagonists are a little girl (who is very assertive and a real trouble-maker) and a friendly bear (a big, strong guy who prefers reading and playing chess over adventure)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't really feature race (with Masha being the only human in the show) but it does show a strong, curious female lead who usually means well even if she often makes a mess of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T14:00:32.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19765" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-29T16:00:26.937" Score="5" ViewCount="2959" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the advantages and disadvantages to a college student living in student housing rather than at home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This assumes that their chosen institute of higher education is close enough to home for this to even be an option, of course. It is also theoretical for me at this point — my daughter proclaimed she would &quot;never ever want to move away,&quot; and while I fully expect that sentiment to change as she grows up, it did get me thinking about the pros and cons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T10:00:36.310" Title="What are the (dis)advantages of dormitory life versus living at home through college?" Tags="|education|adult-child|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19766" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-29T16:34:30.583" Score="0" ViewCount="8009" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lately, my kids, 4 and 7, have become very &lt;strong&gt;picky&lt;/strong&gt; eaters and don't eat much. If they do eat, they eat prepacked food or anything deep fried like chicken in small amount or few bites. As result, my wife and I are frustrated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I want to know what do kids like to eat the most and how to make them eat the cooked food? My one son hates anything with veggies. He will literally throw up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14904" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-10T18:43:46.733" LastActivityDate="2018-11-10T18:43:46.733" Title="What food kids love to eat the most?" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|eating|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-05-01T09:15:19.327" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19765" CreationDate="2015-04-29T16:42:05.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, one of the advantages would be that it's sort of a way to ease into living away from home.  You're responsible for yourself, but you're not alone and there are people who are somewhat keeping an eye on things.  There are also lots of great shared experiences to be had with others living in the dorm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, some of those shared experiences may not be positive and in some dorms there can be a lot of peer pressure to do things one may not be comfortable with.  That sort of thing will confront us throughout our lives, but it can be pretty tough to deal with when it's where you live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T16:42:05.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19699" CreationDate="2015-04-29T17:12:10.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The plain fact is that almost no one does this without either strong ideological motivation (i.e. &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kibbutz&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the Kibbutz system&lt;/a&gt;), or severe financial necessity (orphanages) or both (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanian_orphans&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Romanian orphanages&lt;/a&gt;), which --to me --suggests that it's probably a very bad idea.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, the closest you'll find is a probably an elite private boarding school.  If you want to completely eliminate personal contact with your child, you'd still need to privately engage your own staff of professionals to cover the early years and any time off from school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm unable to offer this advice without noting that I personally find this a morally abhorrent concept, unlikely to result in good outcomes for either the child or society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T17:12:10.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19765" CreationDate="2015-04-29T17:17:39.903" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect this varies significantly by the person and family.  Some advantages to one person will be disadvantages to another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, the differences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Living at home, unless you live on campus already, means a bit of a commute for the child.  This means a bit less time for socializing, and less ability to join the kinds of socializing that spontaneously arise.  IE, if it's a ten or fifteen minute drive, she's less likely to want to go to the party than if it's just down the street - and she's less likely to walk by it at random.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It also means she'll less frequently run into other students and professors walking through the quads/etc.  For those so inclined, a major feature of college life is running into others at random and having intellectual discussions about things ineteresting to you.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Living at home means less responsibility related to housekeeping and living arrangements.  You don't have to worry about rent, you don't have to worry about cleaning, you don't have to worry about food.  (Some of those aren't concerns anyway in dorms, but often dorm life leads to apartments the third or fourth year.)  This is good and bad - you don't learn to have this responsibility, but it also doesn't distract from schoolwork.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Living at home means less opportunity for sexual activity, which again is a plus or a minus depending on the person.  Even if you're the coolest mom in the world, it's still uncomfortable to have sexual partners at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continuing in the vein of 'some good some bad', living at home will also mean she likely will stay more attached to her high school friends and develop fewer new friendships.  For someone like me (not very good at making friends), it was hard at first - but also very good for me - to be forced to do so at college.  Living at home makes it easier to rely on the crutch of old friendships, but also helps stay closer to those friends, and simplifies social dynamics for someone for whom that might be additional stress.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, to me it tends to come down mostly to two things: safety net versus more responsibilities, and socialization.  Many larger colleges and universities require on-campus living for the first year nowadays; some of that is ensuring they get money for their food program, but also some of it is ensuring students have a chance to learn how to live on their own for a while, and develop social bonds for that first year that help them in college.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Living on campus but near home is seen by a lot of people as a good compromise - you can still go home on the weekend most weekends, but you have the during-the-week socialization benefits of living on campus.  Of course, for some being kicked out of the nest and forced to figure things out is a necessary thing for their personal development (and so going to a further away college is a good idea), but for others it can add stress that's unnecessary when added to a difficult transition to collegiate academics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T17:17:39.903" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19757" CreationDate="2015-04-29T17:45:59.220" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm an elementary computer teacher and I start with search engines in kindergarten.  At this age they need a LOT of help so I have our browsers (Chrome) set to load up the Google search page when the browsers are opened, and from there we do simple things.  &quot;Type in the word dog and hit the enter key&quot;, &quot;Now click on the 3rd link down&quot;, etc.  I also show them the difference between getting to sites, images, and videos in Google.  While most of them can't do too much without direct guidance, some of them catch on fast and start searching on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind it helps to do basic browser navigation stuff with the kids first.  And Internet safety, of course...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14906" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T17:45:59.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19757" CreationDate="2015-04-29T19:58:46.293" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are 3 things to be concerned about when thinking about teaching your children about how to use search engines:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Safety&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Self-sufficiency&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Effects on memory&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;One - Safety&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll start this with an anecdote.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back in approximately 2000-2001 was when I first started using the Internet, because we finally had a home computer with Internet access. Back then, I was a &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt; fan of MegaMan games, and the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sprites-inc.co.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sprites&lt;/a&gt; community that existed around the games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, it was only natural for me to use the search term &amp;quot;MegaMan&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the majority of searches returned what I was looking for, it wasn't always easy to tell what a site contained based on the short descriptions and titles. Some of the &lt;em&gt;top&lt;/em&gt; results were actually for male erotica.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These days, search engines, notably Google, offer a SafeSearch filter that is pretty good and removing such material, but it's not perfect. It's &lt;em&gt;important&lt;/em&gt; to turn on, because even innocuous searches can turn up inappropriate material. Aside from my MegaMan example, I've recently discovered that doing a Google Image search for &amp;quot;dogs&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;dog faces&amp;quot; with the filter &lt;em&gt;off&lt;/em&gt; can return pictures of grotesquely abused animals, horrible caging scenarios, &amp;quot;dog meat&amp;quot; images, and frightening images of dogs looking like they're attacking. &lt;em&gt;These are not images I want my child to see at this age.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you can't rely &lt;em&gt;solely&lt;/em&gt; on filtering, you'll have to teach your child safe search habits. Search for specific terms, be suspicious of links without descriptions that clearly match, &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; click on links if it doesn't seem right. Additionally, some search engines will warn you if a site has been compromised, so &lt;em&gt;avoid&lt;/em&gt; those sites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are options such as black/white lists you can set up through your router, and monitoring software. However, none of those solutions are effective outside of your home computer set up, so I'd focus on teaching your child safe browsing &lt;em&gt;habits&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Two - Self-Sufficiency&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It used to be, if you wanted to know something then you had to ask someone who already knew, or go get a book that might have the answer in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, &lt;em&gt;anyone&lt;/em&gt; from pretty much &lt;em&gt;anywhere&lt;/em&gt; can type in their query and get an answer. It's absolutely wonderful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, it's an important skill to have. Personally, I often get asked simple questions about topics I'm in no way an expert in. However, I've developed a reputation for knowing things. I try to explain to people that one of the reasons I can get answers so quickly is because I have strong Google-Fu. It sometimes frustrates me that I get treated as a personal, live &lt;em&gt;Google&lt;/em&gt;, when they have they same opportunity to get the answers as I do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a drawback to having all these answers out there for us:&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;They're not all &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt; or even &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, you'll have to teach your child about verifying information they find. Check sources, find corroboration. It's unfortunately the way of many people to just accept the first answer they receive (see: &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woozle_effect&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Woozle Effect&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/15/arts/people-argue-just-to-win-scholars-assert.html?_r=5&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Theory of Argumentative Reasoning&lt;/a&gt; for explanations as to why people continue to believe &lt;em&gt;incorrect&lt;/em&gt; things).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is incredibly important life skill, and should be taught regardless of your search engine education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Three - Memory&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having free access to all the information you could want can have some drawbacks. One small study found that when you just &lt;em&gt;thought&lt;/em&gt; you'd be able to save some information in a computer file that your recall was lower compared to when you had to learn the new information without saving it. Here's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wired.com/2011/07/search-engine-memory/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wired article&lt;/a&gt; about the study.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a hypothesis that when our brains can memorize &lt;em&gt;where&lt;/em&gt; to find the information, they don't prioritize remembering the information itself. If you have speed dial, do you bother remember your contact's phone number or just their speed dial number? Do you remember someone's email address, or just their name after your e-mail client saves it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe there's truth to that hypothesis. If Google becomes your first source of information, you're not encouraging yourself to retain that information. As such, I would suggest &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; encouraging search engine use as a first response. Instead, encourage your children to seek out other sources, and come to you for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The Process&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see any reason from keeping a child from about 8-years-old on up from using search, and that's around the age where they'd start doing some light research-type homework (at least it was for me). It's going to be a big part of their life, and good search skills are beneficial. I don't think younger children need to know about Internet search engines, but they should probably know how to search in general. For instance, they may not have access to the full Internet, but maybe they have access to your streaming service. Searching Netflix/Hulu/etc. is an example of other types of searching. This will largely depend on your other choices regarding your child's exposure to screen time, the Internet, and technology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would first introduce your child to searching as a collaborative effort. If there's a question you don't know the answer to, or you want to know more, then I would search together with your child. That way, your child sees not only what kinds of things to search for, but the method you use to do it. It's a quick way to illustrate keyword searching vs. whole question searching. You can show teach them some search engine features that may come in handy at that time, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, if you want only to learn about silver foxes, but &lt;code&gt;silver foxes&lt;/code&gt; keeps turning up information about red foxes as well, you can demonstrate &lt;code&gt;silver foxes -red foxes&lt;/code&gt; or &lt;code&gt;&amp;quot;silver foxes&amp;quot;&lt;/code&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you've taught them these basics and they've grown accustomed to using search engines, you can slowly have the child search on their own. If you're not available, and it's a question you believe is safely &amp;quot;searchable&amp;quot;, then you can let them know to search for it. At that time, you can suggest terms you think might be helpful to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always monitor their progress, and give them guidance when they're having difficulty, or warnings when they're heading down a questionable search term path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T19:58:46.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19772" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-29T20:00:19.450" Score="6" ViewCount="378" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read some material about the mother's role in forming good attachment in children under the age of one year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is - do you know about the role of fathers in forming attachment?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's take a real example: If the father leaves a newborn for one year (relocation) - do you think the consequences will be irreversible? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6830" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-10T13:07:56.707" LastActivityDate="2018-09-10T13:07:56.707" Title="What's the father's role in forming attachment?" Tags="|infant|newborn|separation|father|attachment|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19721" CreationDate="2015-04-29T20:06:54.893" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 2 girls and a boy ranging from 25-16. I've found offering a choice rather than a No makes them think. As aparente001 suggested, it is all in the wording. If he asks for candy you could say, &quot;How about some raisins or grapes?&quot; Another method I used was to turn their &quot;want&quot; into a goal. &quot;You could have some raisins or grapes (or whatever you can substitute as a healthy snack/activity) now, and if you pick up your toys (or whatever it is you want done) you can have the candy tomorrow for a special treat!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand at this point you are frustrated and confused at his behavior, but my oldest was stubborn, stubborn, stubborn &amp;amp; independent from the time she could talk about what she wanted and &quot;needed now!&quot;. My two best weapons were distraction and positivity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm guessing that he's a toddler and if you start thinking this way and using these techniques now, you will save a lot of future frustration. This also uses the things they want as rewards for taking responsibility, another important lesson to start now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was little, he didn't take time outs as a good consequence. I had to explain that it wasn't a punishment, just a chance for us to calm down and think of an answer together. We would both sit on a step and &quot;think&quot; of an alternative and talk when the age appropriate time was up. I then weaned him into time outs by himself by sitting on a chair in the living room nearby while he sat on the stairs, eventually I would do dishes while I was &quot;thinking&quot; as it was urgent for me to &quot;get this done during my time out&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, time outs were as much for me as them as a beginning parent to give me time to consider a solution based on what I knew of my childs personality, wants and needs. I hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14909" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-29T21:49:32.897" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T21:49:32.897" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6119" CreationDate="2015-04-29T20:14:51.643" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know it sounds simple, but have you tried just explaining to them &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; you want them to take shorter showers?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not guaranteed to work, but for some teenagers, giving a reason for a rule is better than giving the actual rule - knowing that hot water is limited, that everyone else's time needs to be accounted for, and that their own limited time is also an issue, are all reasons that you should be teaching them, not just &quot;take shorter showers because I said so&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like @Grant said, there may be legitimate reasons why they're taking so long, so you should find that out as well, and if possible find better outlets for those things with them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, if they prefer taking longer showers, and the issue is simply time in the morning, you could encourage them to shower at night.  Just be sure to warn them about the dangers of bedhead, and that they dry their hair out thoroughly afterwards.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T20:14:51.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19766" CreationDate="2015-04-29T20:31:41.237" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do they like Macaroni &amp;amp; Cheese? My kids did and I would use the food processor to cut the broccoli or cauliflower really tiny to mix in. I told my kids they were &quot;spices&quot;. There is a cookbook out that gives you ways to sneak veggies into foods kids like, but I don't remember the name. My friend bought it 2 years ago for her kids. Maybe you can google it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing my kids liked was spaghetti and marinara sauce. Carrots, shredded small, sneak into the sauce really well and reduce the tomato's bitterness making it sweeter for the kids. My kids liked mandarin oranges too because they were &quot;their size&quot;, so I would put them over cottage cheese for a &quot;treat&quot;. Apples with peanut butter are also healthy and my kids liked them as well when I cut them into little slices or fun shapes. To get my youngest (the pickiest) to eat peanut butter and jelly (small amount) sandwiches, I used big cookie cutters to make fun shapes. Have you tried jello jigglers? You can use the cookie cutters on the jigglers with them as an activity too. It was all about presentation at that age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I made it sound fun they were more likely to try it. I called fruit concoctions &quot;treats&quot; and they thought of it as something good and special as a result. You could also try a &quot;fondue&quot; type dinner. Kids that age love making food an activity and love to dip things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personal pizzas on even english muffins were a hit too. You set out bowls of the toppings and let them pick. This gives them control and input as well as an activity. You can show them how with yours and then let them try with your help as necessary. I hope this gives you some fun ideas/solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14909" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-10T18:41:23.273" LastActivityDate="2018-11-10T18:41:23.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19766" CreationDate="2015-04-29T21:08:46.993" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Contrary to the comments on the question, I do believe there is a separate answer to this question. However, there is some overlap with regard to the &lt;em&gt;solution&lt;/em&gt; the OP may be looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question hints at the answer. The kids in this case like processed foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What do processed foods have?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;High sugar and fat content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The human body is an amazing machine, and it's fueled by fats and carbohydrates. Unlike proteins, which are used as building blocks for our bodies, the other &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mckinley.illinois.edu/handouts/macronutrients.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;macronutrients&lt;/a&gt; are much better sources of energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our bodies are designed to seek out sources of food energy, and our brains reward us for finding them. It's &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; sugar and fat taste so good. The receptors in our brains &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/06/opinion/evolutions-sweet-tooth.html?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;evolved&lt;/a&gt; to tell us carb-loaded foods were good, because they were rare but helpful for our survival.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also been proposed that children, specifically, have &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2011/09/26/140753048/kids-sugar-cravings-might-be-biological&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;higher cravings for sweets&lt;/a&gt; and sugars, related to hormone secretion due to bone growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, biologically speaking, &lt;em&gt;junk food&lt;/em&gt; is the most rewarding food for a young child's body and brain.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children will often prefer snacks and junk food, simply because they're hard-wired to, due to the fact that we evolved when such sugar and fat rich food was incredibly scarce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they have the option of the junk over healthy food, children will likely choose the junk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do you feed your kids healthily, now that they have a taste for processed foods?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue isn't really what do kids like, which can be anything with sugar and fat, but how to get them to eat other things. They seem to eat well enough, it's just not the food you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; them to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's going to take some work. The prepackaged and processed foods you rely on will have to go. If your child's brains know that there's an alternative, then their biological imperative is going to be for the other food. This means they'll reject your healthy offerings, throw it up for drama, and whine/complain/throw tantrums until the parents give in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If those options are removed, you'll likely meet a great deal of push back from the kids and have a lot of stress over the issue. The kids may even try to sneak junk food, or get it from other sources (school, friends). But, if you're consistent and persistent, then eventually they'll realize they &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to eat the regular food provided. Their brains should switch from going after the highly rewarding food that's no longer available to just whatever food is available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there are steps you can take to make the regular food more rewarding. Look for vegetables and fruits that you can add to dishes to make them sweet. Even savory, protein-rich dishes can have sweet sauces added to them to help close the gap between  pure processed sugar and natural carbohydrates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want more information about &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to get them to eat the other foods, then the &quot;picky eater&quot; questions on this site will be a great help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T21:08:46.993" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19778" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-29T21:31:37.073" Score="11" ViewCount="5993" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've recently had a quick look at my son's iPod touch and found a large google searches for various pornographic phrases. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's a little bit advanced in terms of hormones, etc. (e.g. voice broken, etc. while his friends haven't). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have sat him down and had a long talk to him about the wrongness of porn (abuse, placing false expectations, etc) as matter of factly as possible and also explained that &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; you do on the Internet is tracked, and told him of the trouble we as parents could be in just for the fact that he's been exposed to it.&#xA;I've also taken away his access to his iPod touch &amp;amp; our computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd already given him the &quot;facts of life&quot; talk, etc. a couple of months ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone have any suggestions about what we should do (or should have done)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14912" LastActivityDate="2018-04-03T17:27:33.097" Title="11 year old son searching for porn" Tags="|sex|sex-education|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19766" CreationDate="2015-04-29T21:39:47.043" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My opinion and experience is based on what I do with my picky eaters. It may not work for you but it is working for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having no shame, I am fine with making a fool of myself in public. My 4 year old daughter and her 7 year old cousin ordered pancakes at a restaurant. Odd seeing as neither have ever eaten them and when they do order them they get the ones with chocolate chips or some other horror and pick out the bits, leaving the pancake to rot in waste. This time they had only the option of regular pancakes and when it came time to eat I regaled them with the tales of the mighty pancake village and legends of two monsters who could never get their fill of delicious pancake meat. While it was a spectacle, the two of them thrashed their pancake villages and devoured the meats of the poor pancake village, leaving nigh a single trace of the once proud people in their wake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, I am often called upon to tell mighty tales of great battles between the broccoli warriors, fruit caravans, cities of rice, or any variety of other unfortunate food based dwellers cursed to endure the wrath of the monster. But it is not constant, and my girls do eat their food much better after years of finding creative ways to engage them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be arguable that society expects a certain behavior when eating and I agree it is good to understand that feast time is not always battle time. But making that bridge was a mild task compared to the beastly challenge of getting them interested in food at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the beginning they too would only eat a small variety of things. Costco has opened many doors because the weekends are ripe with samples and I can challenge my girls to feast upon the samples as we pass by. We discovered much that they like, and when you have picky eaters, just one new food is like a whole world of relief. My one daughter only liked yogurt and canned peaches, so when she accepted bagels and cream cheese it was enormous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The world will tell you to keep offering them things. To take the non-obligational path and they're probably right. But I can't let my kids go to bed without knowing they are eating well, go to preschool without a breakfast, etc. So I found ways to entertain them enough to convince me they were getting the nutrients they need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Costco also has a gummy multi-vitamin they like. A DHA one as well. So even if they are eating badly otherwise, at least they got some vitamins from those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though they have been exposed to foods like McDonalds and bags of chips, they are not even remotely available in their routines and they have never made it a habit to insist on those kinds of food. That could be because I make sure they eat before we go out anywhere where they may be hungry and processed foods are just convenient. I understand that may not be an option for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarize, I think we got over the major hurdles of the picky eaters by engaging them in interesting ways, even if those ways are the kind that most people won't want to do or fear they will become habitual or required. What foods they eat now are probably not relevant because children vary so much. What mine eat may not work for you, but the process of discovery could be shared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T21:39:47.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19671" CreationDate="2015-04-29T21:46:02.690" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This might sound a bit obvious, but I'm gonna try and share some thoughts from my own experiences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He might not want any of the choices and instead want something else; but, perhaps due to his age, he might not be able to express what he wants clearly opting for no decision.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He might be &quot;not in a good mood&quot;, which makes it difficult to choose; i.e: when everything &quot;looks grey/dull/bland to him&quot;, it's difficult to decide. This actually still happens to me as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter is like this I either:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go over all inventory of X (by showing many items of clothes, offering food, etc) until something &quot;catches her eye&quot; (please be patient).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick an item and discuss some feature (&quot;what a beautiful blue shirt&quot;) or point out some kind of a connection (&quot;Here is the cereal that you like&quot;, &quot;these should will be great for rain&quot;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think about it, this is how we usually decide, weighing pros and cons and deciding on a &quot;winning set of features&quot; for A or B in a given situation. Even when we seemingly take a &quot;random&quot; decision, it's usually a subconscious (read: too fast to cognitively realise) decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we follow through, I believe that helping him be observable of features (and their meaning in real life) will build a good logical decision mechanism, though it might incidentally update his &quot;set of favorite stuff&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11344" LastActivityDate="2015-04-29T21:46:02.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-04-30T00:56:30.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to echo LRO's answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Absolutely nothing whatsoever&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or rather, just don't worry about it. By not worrying about boy vs. girls toys, you'll help shape her opinion that there isn't any such things. Toys are toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, she may simply prefer toys that we've traditionally labeled as 'girl' toys, but that's OK. It doesn't mean you can't keep introducing her to other options. Just don't feel bad when she's not into the same things you were maybe in to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for Star Wars, perhaps she's just not into Star Wars. I have 2 boys and it's not their thing, either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(As an aside, I think McDonalds needs to fix this with their happy  meals. They always ask &quot;boy or girl&quot; making this giant assumption that there's this line between boy and girl toys.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T00:56:30.273" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19783" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-30T01:04:21.917" Score="5" ViewCount="1945" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in the USA, my son lives in the Netherlands. He has two little girls aged 5 years and 6 years respectively. My adult daughter, who doesn't have children herself, is visiting them at this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter shared a few details of these little girls' behavior. She told me these little girls scream at her and cover their ears when she talks to them. They are apparently very mean and ugly toward her. She did however mention that on the few occasions that she has been alone with them, they mind her and are quite sweet. So, I believe she will have the survival skills to deal with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also said that the 5-year-old throws tantrums and when her mother tried to console her with a hug, she proceeded to kick, bite and scratch her mother. Apparently, both parents don't think this is a big deal. In the meantime, my daughter found out that their maternal grandmother has refused to babysit them. They have a long weekend planned in Germany and my daughter told them she will not go because she can't stand their behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their behavior is clearly causing a rift between family.  They suggested that my daughter babysit them this weekend and see if she can find a bond with the girls. Letting her babysit will probably escalate these little girls' behavior. On the other hand, I can't help feeling they are using her as a free baby sitter, with little regard to the fact that neither of them will take responsibility to check their children's behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I learnt that the 5-year-old gets away with kicking, biting and scratching her mother it causes me great concern. One thing that I told my daughter strongly is &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; to question their skills as parents. I did this on a few occasions and the results were not pretty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have suggestions for her survival with these girls until she gets back home to the USA? These are my granddaughters and I am very stressed about what I hear and their emotional health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14915" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2019-05-28T12:41:45.970" LastActivityDate="2019-05-28T21:16:38.053" Title="As a babysitting aunt, how to bond with misbehaving, mean-spirited children?" Tags="|primary-schooler|violence|extended-family|babysitting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19778" CreationDate="2015-04-30T01:13:47.117" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no universal answer to this question. It's going to vary heavily depending on all sorts of factors. I can merely offer my own POV. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd start by considering that you can't rid the world of porn. If your child is looking for it, they will find it no matter. So I'd accept the fact that they will be looking at it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, I think--as with many things in life--education is the best option. Explain why people may watch it, that it's normal to have those feelings, and that (perhaps most importantly) it's all fantasy and one should remember to not consider any of it real and indicative of actual relationships. I'd also point out that, like a lot of vices in life (like drugs and playing video games) many people struggle with addiction. Moderation is key. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can still disapprove as a parent, and even forbid, but make sure that educating part is there and treated honestly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the comments that porn is 'wrong' and that you as a parent can get in trouble, realize that that is by no means a universally shared opinion, so you may be injecting your own personal opinions a bit too heavily into the education part of the equation. That's certainly within your right as a parent, but something to keep in mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T01:13:47.117" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19778" CreationDate="2015-04-30T02:27:34.043" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son did this as well. We proceeded with education as DA01 described above. My husband is more of a doer and I am more of a talker so the kids often turn to me to understand things. We explained our position as well, that it wasn't acceptable. The worst I found after that was a Victoria's Secret catalog in his room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am big on listening to my kids point of view and explaining everything I can to them in an age appropriate way. As a result, they have come to me about worries with pot, girlfriend/boyfriend issues etc as they have gone through their teens and early 20's. If you haven't had this kind of relationship with him, it isn't too late! Try to talk on his level (not &quot;down&quot; to him) and encourage him to ask questions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would keep the electronics away until after the talk or whatever limit you set as consistency is important with consequences. If you explain that it is a CONSEQUENCE of his misbehavior rather than a punishment, it helps him to accept his responsibility for your action. I try to tailor my actions to any infraction in this manner so they don't just learn to watch time they learn that each action has a consequence - good or bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know your child best. In light of how technology has advanced and how smart kids can be with it, parental controls sound like a great option as well. When I dealt with this issue 9 years ago, the parental controls were spotty at best and my son was writing code that he had figured out in his own so I didn't use that. It won't prevent him from looking at it with friends, but the more you talk with him on the subject, the more he will make his own informed decisions. He probably won't want to look uncool and walk away if his friends try to involve him, but he won't seek it out as fervently either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just advice from my own experience and each child is different. The more confident he is in his choices due to your education and love, the better decisions he will make (hopefully). It has enabled my 16 year old daughter to choose not to smoke with her ex-friends so that she doesn't mess up her future. Best wishes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14909" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T02:27:34.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19778" CreationDate="2015-04-30T04:48:03.527" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems like stepping backwards through time, but most pediatricians and many psychologists recommend against kids having computers or televisions in their rooms. With the advent of hand held devices and lap tops used for school work, this seems like a thing of the past, but it doesn't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to be, although a parent would need an iron will to enforce this today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone have any suggestions about what we should do (or should have done)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you have younger children, &lt;em&gt;should have&lt;/em&gt; is in the rear view mirror. It's very important that you not beat yourself up over it. You didn't knowingly neglect your son. Unfortunately, exposure to sexually explicit materials is in fact becoming a normative experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are all kinds of spyware available, from software that takes a secret photo of the desktop at regular intervals to software that blocks nearly every site on the internet because there is a suggestive word somewhere on the site, and everything in between. Read about it and use whatever you think might work. Don't dismiss it on the basis that he'll watch pornography on a friend's computer. That's outside of your control, but what goes on in your house or on devices you allow him to use are your domain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only additional suggestions I have are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Educate yourself (enough that you can back it up with plenty of studies)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about it (more rather than less)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read about the effect that exposure to sexually explicit materials has on pre-pubertal, pubertal, and post-pubertal males and females. What you learn might be fairly disconcerting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the end of middle school many teens have seen sexually explicit content not only on the Internet but in more traditional forms of media as well. Such exposure is related to early adolescents’ developing sense of gender roles, sexual relationships, and sexual behavior, including perpetration of sexual harassment. These analyses suggest that sexually explicit media should be considered important, but not necessarily healthy, agents in early adolescents’ sexual socialization.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk, ask questions about, and be actively involved in the formation of your son's ideas regarding sex, gender roles, objectification of women, etc. Discuss the morality or immorality, the practicality or impracticality, and the potential outcomes of his beliefs in a rational and relatively unemotional manner. Will that embarrass him? Sure it will. But it's a fact of life, not more embarrassing than the fact that you used to change his diapers or wipe his bottom until he could do it himself. Fifteen years from now when your son is married is a sad time to discover that he finds porn more exciting than his lovely new wife. Think of what you will wish you had said and done and do it now.*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discuss love, sex and birth control. Most pubertal boys will start experimenting with sex within 2-3 years of starting to look at pornography. Start those discussions (it's not a one-time deal) now. Make sure he knows that whatever he chooses to do, getting someone pregnant is not an acceptable option. Being old enough to (hopefully love and) have sex should also mean being old enough to care for the well-being of the person he's (hopefully loving and) having sex with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt;In my work with adolescents and adults with addictions, the topic surfaces not infrequently, and the degree to which it affects people is no longer shocking at all. In retrospect, I'm very grateful that I had these difficult talks with my kids. They aren't immaculate because of it, but I did what I reasonably could to encourage not only physical health, but emotional health as well.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.unc.edu/depts/jomc/teenmedia/pdf/xrated.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;X-Rated: Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Associated With U.S. Early Adolescents' Exposure to Sexually Explicit Media&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T04:48:03.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19772" CreationDate="2015-04-30T07:24:52.333" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The father should leave a newborn for one year (relocation) - do you think the consequences will be irreversible? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO there certainly will be consequences (there's evidence that having heard their parents' voice while in the womb has influence on newborns, after all) and, given the fact that you cannot go back and do it differently, they are by definition irreversible. Whether that will just make it a little bit harder for the child or has devastating consequences, though, nobody can say in advance (or maybe even in hindsight). It depends on the child, the father, the environment, and how much the two of them will be able to make up for this later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the inability to bond with your child in the first twelve months does not only prevent the child to attach to its father – but also prevents the father to attach to his child. I remember stories from my parents' generation telling about their father coming home from the war, and preferring the children they fathered then over those who had already grown a bit while they were away. Also, there's studies which show that fathers' violence against children correlates with them not having been around when the children were smaller. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;em&gt;Note:&lt;/em&gt; I am not saying if you go away you will necessarily dislike and beat up your child. Those correlations show a weaker bonding &lt;em&gt;on average&lt;/em&gt;. That doesn't mean specific children and fathers didn't get very attached to each other even if they only got to know each other after their first year.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having quite a bunch of children myself, I can also tell you that I would have missed so many important developments of my children if I hadn't seen them every day in their first year. In general, this pretty much covers the time when your child will develop from being an unconscious fetus who sucks, farts, and sleeps (biologists say that humans are basically born prematurely) to a bright child who plays, interacts with other humans, walks, talks, loves stories, caresses other babies or pets, and whatnot. No other year of their lives will show such rapid development, such incredible progress. If you miss this, you miss a very important part of your child's life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing to consider: The first weeks, months, year are very hard for parents, especially if it is their first child. If you stay at home alone with an 8 weeks old there's a very good chance you will barely find the time to have a shower, let alone do the dishes and cook meals. (And what about catching a cold?) Many children also need to be fed or need other forms of attention during the night, robbing their parents of the sleep they'd need to cope with all this. It is very helpful to be able to share this. (I remember arrangements like one of us sleeping away from the child for the first half of the night, the other one for the second half.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If one person is alone with a child 24/7 for a whole year, then that can be &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; exhausting for that person. A whole year of such stress and pressure could cause negative effects on the child's development, the person being left alone to cope, and the relationship of the child's parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T06:43:58.990" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T06:43:58.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19788" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19802" CreationDate="2015-04-30T09:07:14.553" Score="93" ViewCount="16001" Body="&lt;p&gt;Christmas is an awesome event for children with lots of presents, but I've been thinking: Aren't the negative things it brings (telling them the truth eventually) worse than the good things? You can still give them presents at this given date without the children thinking the gifts are coming from Santa, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Questions:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How much effect does it have on children when they find out you've been lying to them about Santa for years?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What would the negative effects be if you never tell them Santa exists? Of course there is the risk that your kid will tell other kids that still do believe in Santa about it, but I think this could be easily handled. Could it?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14900" LastEditorUserId="14900" LastEditDate="2016-04-29T08:38:51.133" LastActivityDate="2016-04-29T08:38:51.133" Title="Why would you lie to your children about Santa?" Tags="|presents|holidays|lying|santa|christmas|" AnswerCount="20" CommentCount="19" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19789" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-30T09:11:37.740" Score="3" ViewCount="1296" Body="&lt;p&gt;He will go to bed around 9:30-10:00, and usually he will sleep through the night. But suddenly he only sleeps for couple of hours, and is up by 2:30-3:00.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried melatonin, it's all natural, but only works for so long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I'm useless really. I have no idea what to do next. I need help. I'm a overly tired mommy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14923" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T11:02:26.363" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T18:22:00.193" Title="My 3 year old is not sleeping through the night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|development|sleep-deprivation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19790" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19794" CreationDate="2015-04-30T09:30:46.517" Score="5" ViewCount="942" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is 22 months old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The father wants the child to become a doctor. He is planning to create such an environment around the child such that the child starts thinking that she must become a doctor until she actually does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, since I am fond of reading, I read to this child and she &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;loves&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; it. She'd prefer my reading books to her more than her toys many times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My cousin didn't read to her child when she was 2 and now she tells me that her child (now turned 5) doesn't show any interest in reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question is that are people born with some dedicated interests or &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;it is possible to thrust a different interest on them such they eventually become interested in that interest?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T20:30:29.830" Title="Can a wish when thrusted upon a person from childhood become her own wish?" Tags="|age-appropriate|psychology|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19791" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19795" CreationDate="2015-04-30T09:45:29.293" Score="3" ViewCount="96572" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apologies if this is a duplicate, it searched for the question terms but found nothing similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby is nearly 7 months old, and after being left to do anything for over 5 minutes, just starts to moan.  Toys, bouncers, TV, anything we give her won't amuse her for more than five minutes before she starts moaning and groaning with discontent.  The only thing that pacifies her seems to be us carrying her around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My poor wife is going nuts at the moment.  I looked around and see &lt;a href=&quot;http://community.babycentre.co.uk/post/a21936345/baby_fussy_and_moaning_all_the_time_am_i_alone?cpg=2&amp;amp;csi=2090691427&amp;amp;pd=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;other people having the same issues&lt;/a&gt; for babies this age, but the forum posts lack any sense of solution!  While I know social interaction is very important, she's not lacking that I promise!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I need to know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is this just a phase?  She's been like this for about 3 weeks now&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are her toys not &quot;interesting&quot; enough?  Should we provide 9-month toys?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should we just leave her to moan?  We tried this but it was very hard with all the noise she makes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or anything else?  I don't have much hair left to pull out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, what an emotional weekend it was.  On Saturday my wife and I got so frustrated with the noises we both had to take time off to calm down.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then on Monday, she woke up and instead of the usual moaning, began making the cutest noises; part &quot;boo&quot;, part &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blowing_a_raspberry&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;raspberry-blowing&lt;/a&gt;, part shriek of joy with a massive smile, part trying to say words (as close as she can figure!).  She's also suddenly starting moving her arms and legs as if trying to crawl, and I suddenly feel some serious bumps under those gums.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also bought some 9-12 month toys.  Although she doesn't realise what a plastic steering wheel is for, she seems content to try moving it and pressing buttons, so I guess that's helped as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this may not be the end of the moaning per-se, it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; obviously subside, and the reward as a parent listening to the result has been worth every minute of the previous grief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11544" LastEditorUserId="11544" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T09:41:56.420" LastActivityDate="2018-03-11T18:16:52.293" Title="Our 6 month old baby moans continuously" Tags="|behavior|development|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T12:41:37.970" Score="51" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's absolutely possible to give kids presents on Christmas without bringing Santa into the picture. (Indeed, even in families whose holiday tradition includes Santa, there are almost always presents where the tag says &quot;From Grandma&quot; or &quot;From Uncle Tim&quot;, not &quot;From Santa&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, even if &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; don't tell your kids about Santa, it's possible they will pick it up from other sources. From a very young age, my daughter could coolly explain to strangers that she didn't believe in Santa. My sons, on the other hand, have wholeheartedly embraced the concept (thanks to friends, various adults, and inescapable marketing throughout the season) and get angry that I &quot;don't let&quot; Santa visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question isn't really just isolated to Santa, though. There are many imaginary characters that populate different family traditions. Some are common and widely known/used (e.g., the Tooth Fairy). Some may be unique to a particular family — our household has &quot;Thunder Bear,&quot; a large growly animal who drives his loud motorcycle around during thunderstorms, who was invented when one child &lt;em&gt;insisted&lt;/em&gt; that thunder &lt;em&gt;was a bear&lt;/em&gt; and wouldn't accept any other explanation. Sometimes kids believe in something (e.g. my son wants to go to Hogwarts, even though I explain we aren't districted for it) without any parental pushing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally think that some imagination and &quot;magic&quot; is useful and healthy for children. Telling them stories gives them inspiration to be creative. Whether it's common mythology like Santa Claus and his reindeer, a picture book about fairies putting dewdrops on flowers every night, or a new invention like Thunder Bear's magical motorcycle, stories are a way that humans explain the world around them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've taken an approach of allowing a fair amount of leeway in the imaginary things my children choose to embrace. I give an explanation for what's really happening (it's your parents buying presents, dew comes from condensation, thunder is the noise of lightning), but don't push it if they object. Sometimes kids want to hold on to that magic. Eventually they will reconcile the contradictory evidence once enough reality piles up, but in the meantime we can enjoy making up stories together. (Encouraging a child to explain how Santa flies around the world, fits down chimneys, eats all those cookies? Great creativity fuel, even in a household that doesn't teach that Santa's real!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T12:41:37.970" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19790" CreationDate="2015-04-30T13:07:41.930" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents have a large influence on their children, but not as large as many people think.  Biologically speaking, kids tend to be similar to their parents, and that includes sharing interests.  Just because you do an activity with a child doesn't mean she wouldn't like it anyway.  The converse is also true.  If you don't like reading, your kids are at least a little bit genetically predisposed to not like it either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are also hardwired to imitate their parents.  If they see you taking an interest in something, they will at least try it out.  They want to spend time with you, and will mold their interests to make that possible.  Parents do the same thing.  They will adjust their own interests in order to make connections with their children.  This is why I have a scary amount of knowledge about &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hasbro.com/littlestpetshop/en_US/&quot;&gt;Littlest Pet Shop&lt;/a&gt; for a grown man.  That only works to a degree, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, if an adult continues to pursue a career path laid out by the parents, it's for one of two reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's what they know best and are good at, so they continue doing it even though it doesn't make them very happy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They actually happen to truly enjoy it innately.  The parents made a lucky guess in &quot;thrusting&quot; something the child would have eventually chosen for herself anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Humans are also hardwired for self-discovery.  This process is best done at home under the protective and supportive environment of a parent.  When parents suppress self-discovery, their kids inevitably still go through it, but as an adult, when mistakes are much more costly and there is less support available and less time to invest.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A college student drops out of medical school when it gets tough, and ends up trying to pay off student loans with a job at Starbucks while trying to figure out what he really wants.  Another young adult abandons her parents religion because she feels forced into it rather than led into it, perhaps experimenting with drugs and promiscuity for no other reason than her parents' religion proscribed it.  A man throws away his marriage and goes on a bender, because he's never felt encouraged to pursue his own dreams.  A woman who was a talented musician moves out and never touches it again, until 30 years later she realizes she enjoyed it, despite her mother sucking the fun out of it, but regretfully has lost almost all her talent through disuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are costly mistakes you don't want to put your kids through.  If you help them discover their own dreams, they will be amazing in ways you never imagined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T13:07:41.930" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19791" CreationDate="2015-04-30T13:58:39.333" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've often found that my son was more whiny in the period before acquiring a major new skill, such as crawling, walking and advances in communicating. I felt that he was frustrated with his limitations as he approached the next phase. In a way this is good as it probably helps with progress. I particularly found this before crawling and he was much happier once he could move around. Your daughter is about the age for learning to crawl so maybe it's to do with that (you don't mention if she can yet). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So yes, I think this is a phase (most things are) which will soon pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is also a difficult time for the primary carer as, in all honesty, the first few months of a baby's life are not generally that exciting. They don't do very much and you don't get much in return. I would say that around the 7-8 month mark was a turning point for me in my enjoyment of being a mother. Once the baby can move you start to get a picture of her personality, you can see more her likes and dislikes when she has more ability to choose her activity. Around this age you also start to get a bit more communication. I think my son learnt to clap around 7 months which is a small thing but all new things are exciting and help to keep the parents interested and engaged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, my biggest tip to get through the less fun times of staying home with a small child is to get out of the house regularly. Often if I was having a hard time with my son at home, I would go out - anywhere - and we'd both be in a better mood afterwards. I used to go for a walk to the same cafe nearly every day and it still helped. Meeting other parents with similar age babies also helps a lot. Of course all babies are different but they have a lot of similarities too and I often found that the problems I had were just the same for a friend with a baby the same age. Even now, my baby has become a toddler and he's a lot of fun to be with, I still try to get out of the house with him every day. He loves being outside as I think a lot of kids do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T13:58:39.333" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19796" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-30T13:58:51.483" Score="1" ViewCount="18336" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 months old baby does not get enough breast milk. He loses weight consecutively. Can I give her alternative milk from market?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14930" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T15:09:21.043" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T14:14:36.237" Title="can I give my 2 month old baby alternative milk from market" Tags="|newborn|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-05-09T16:25:17.277" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19790" CreationDate="2015-04-30T13:59:25.067" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The father wants the child to become a doctor. He is planning to create such an environment around the child such that the child starts thinking that &lt;em&gt;she must become a doctor until she actually does&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is very unwise. Not only is it disrespecting her as a person, but it is also setting her up for hardship and possibly failure. Just as with reading, your daughter's interest in biology can be fostered because you love biology. And she may well major in biology and go into pharmacology or mycology (the study of fungi). But if her self worth (why else must be a doctor?) is tied to being one thing, yes, maybe she will become a doctor but there's absolutely no guarantee that she will be happy and a high probability that she will not. Medicine is a calling for most, a calculated step to success for others. But for anyone to be really happy in medicine, they have to love all kinds of things: biology, biochemistry, helping people, lifelong learning, effective communication. They need to be comfortable delaying gratification (for a long time), working very hard in school and many years afterwards, solving difficult problems, and be able to live with the responsibility of having people's lives in their hands and losing those lives as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this holds true for other fields you would &quot;pick&quot; for her as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[A]re people born with some dedicated interests or it is possible to thrust a different interest on them such they eventually become interested in that interest?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People are born with personality traits. Hopefully they are exposed to a broad range of things and discover more in school, through friends, etc.  What they love depends on what they find most interesting, and there's not even always a living to be made in that field.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please consider building your daughter's character (including resilience, a work ethic, a moral compass, etc.), and letting her pick the field of study she desires.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Ours was a two doctor-parents home. We &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; encouraged any of our children to go into medicine, and indeed often tried to talk the one child who always (and only ever) wanted to be a doctor out of it. We exposed them to a broad range of subjects and involved ourselves in their education and reading. But they had free time and free choices. Their career choices were a pleasant surprise, even the &quot;doctor's&quot; choice.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T14:16:03.730" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T14:16:03.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T14:38:44.493" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of a child's reaction upon finding out that Santa isn't real depends on how you talk about him. If you talk about him with using a lot of fantasy and whimsey and a kind of wink in your eye, they'll figure it out soon enough, because in real life, reindeer don't fly any better than pigs. If you also read other mythological stories, for example, we read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy out loud to our children, as well as a lot of Greek and some other mythology, they'll recognize a myth when they hear one. We also played games at home where we parents took on fictional roles - one of my favorites was when we'd turn our home into a &quot;café&quot; for a couple of hours and let our kids order whatever they wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are no real disadvantages to telling your child the truth, either. Christmas should be a special time of celebration: you get to pick the way it's celebrated and why. Sure they'll tell another kid there is no Santa; just ask them to please refrain from spreading this news in preschool (and why)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T14:38:44.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T15:00:35.653" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;I somewhat like Pratchett's take on the question&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY&#xA;  TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING&#xA;  APE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE&#xA;  LIES.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;So we can believe the big ones?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;They're not the same at all!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST&#xA;  POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM&#xA;  OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET&#xA;  YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS&#xA;  SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;MY POINT EXACTLY.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure some kids react badly to finding out the truth but I don't recall finding out santa wasn't real ever being a traumatic thing for me or even really something you so much &quot;found out&quot; as just gradually came to know. At the age of 4 I was running round the house as one of my sisters jingled some bells and a few years later I knew santa wasn't real and that it was a game that had been played entirely for my enjoyment at the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9011" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T15:00:35.653" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19790" CreationDate="2015-04-30T15:00:38.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess your question can be interpreted in two ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Can you force a child to love something&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of parents try this, but with limited success. Especially in a culture where everyone can do what they want, this is very likely to fail. If your child is surrounded by other children who don't have much of a choice, this may have a reasonable change to succeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Can you stimulate a child to love something&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is definitely possible, and depending on the way you approach it; it does not have to be something negative at all. If you make some effort to show her all the nice things that come with the subject, the child should definitely have a higher chance to get interested in it. Especially if you show that you are enjoying it yourself. Something important to realize: there are many years to come, and at times the child may lose interest in the subject for a while. If you then keep pushing, you end up 'forcing' the child and have a high chance to build up permanent resistance. Just focus on other things for a while and pick it up when the child already forgot why she was losing interest in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Practical advice: Spread the love&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child I was stimulated to enjoy 3 separate subjects in particular, at some point I decided that I didn't like one of them and I still hold that feeling. However, afterwards I enjoyed thinking about the other two subjects even more, resulting in a 'successful education' as I am currently happy to work a lot with one of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if you think that being a doctor can be a good idea, but don't want to force your child, think of some other things that you and the father would both be happy with. Then you can start stimulating your child to enjoy all these subjects, and if somehow one of them does not work out, you still can raise your child with less worries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14931" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T20:30:29.830" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T20:30:29.830" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19796" CreationDate="2015-04-30T15:56:49.153" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, a 2 month old should not be losing weight, speak to a healthcare professional (midwife, doctor or both).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer your question, properly formulated stage 1 formula milk is suitable from birth, but it's best to discuss this with your doctor or midwife as there might be other things you want to try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And something else to think about, have your child checked for tongue tie. This is a condition where the tongue is tethered to the bottom of the mouth (more so than it should be). It is quite common and is frequently missed. This condition causes difficulty with breast feeding and is very simple to fix once spotted. Even if you decide not to continue with breast feeding, it's worth getting this checked as severe cases can cause issues with speech and it's much harder to fix later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I don't have enough rep to comment, so I'm adding this to my own answer: &#xA;aparente001 makes some good points, I didn't know about the supplementer whatsits, that sounds like a good idea if you are hoping to continue breast feeding. What I really wanted to add was that Lactation consultants are also a thing in the UK, but you have to ask your health visitor or midwife for a referral. They tend not to be offered unless you ask. Since we don't know what country the OP is in, this may be useful information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14933" LastEditorUserId="14933" LastEditDate="2015-05-01T14:14:36.237" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T14:14:36.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T16:22:04.737" Score="53" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Is lying worse than the good aspects?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aren't the negative things it brings (telling them the truth eventually) worse than the good things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No.  Children experience the world differently than adults, due to their incomplete knowledge.  It may, in fact, be harder for some children to understand that my daily departure from home for many hours is what keeps a roof over their head.  There's no need to make something up until they're older, but on the other hand it brings them a sense of joy and wonder to believe in a fairy tale, if only for a short few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they gain understanding they learn new things that contradict their old world views.  This doesn't harm them.  I knew someone who didn't realize until they were an adult that when they were told that chirping street crossing indicators were for the blind, they assumed blind drivers as a child, and didn't re-examine that until much older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It didn't harm them to have an incorrect belief, and in the meantime they were thinking, &amp;quot;Wow, disabilities really don't hold you back from anything!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You still can give them presents at this certain date without them thinking it's Santa, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course. You can give presents at any time of the year without explanation.  If the explanation or reasoning has meaning to your or them, then perhaps you can explain it.  There's no need to, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;How does this lie affect children?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much effect does it have on children when they find out you've been lying to them about Santa for years?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You really seem concerned about the lie.  Perhaps you've been told or believe that to lie will irreparably damage your relationship with a person or your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this is true in general, as children learn and grow they eventually separate fantasy and myth from reality. Dr. Benjamin Siegel, Professor of Pediatrics and Psychiatry at the Boston University School of Medicine &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/parents/holidays/is-it-okay-lie-about-santa/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;is quoted here&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What parents should assess is the values they are trying to impart and whether this myth encourages those morals. “Every culture has a fairy tale or myth that belongs to its historical identity,” Siegel says. “If the myths are good and talk about sharing and helping your neighbor, then that’s really nice.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So as you approach a myth you want to present as reality to your children you should be asking yourself what it teaches your child.  What values are you trying to promote? Does the myth help or hinder that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further in the same article:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents worry that they will have to break the news to their children and shatter their whole vision of Christmas. However, many children come to this realization on their own around age seven or eight, Siegel says. And when they do, they are basically unscathed. Siegel cites a study that revealed that children who learned the truth may have been upset, but not nearly as upset as the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“Most kids do fine when they learn a myth is not real,” he says. “Sometimes parents feel very badly because they want their kids to continue to believe in Santa Claus. Maybe parents like the myth because it makes them feel good, or because kids get disappointed in them when they find out the truth. Kids realize that parents aren’t so powerful, but that happens in adolescence anyway.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And from my personal experience&lt;sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; my children who have gone through this transition are perfectly fine, and trust me as much as I'd expect them to, given their developmental stage.  They clearly understand the difference between myth and reality, and they continue to participate in the myth for a variety of reasons despite their disbelief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;What are the consequences of not playing santa?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would the negative effects be if you never tell them Santa exists?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a friend whose parents did not present santa clause to them at all - they had to learn the story through movies and friends.  As an adult they feel like they missed out - and as a result her children get perhaps an over-santa Christmas. They never had a time when they felt that believing joy, and they feel as though they lost out on a small part of childhood as experienced by most children in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So on the cultural side of things, Santa as a shared myth is a &lt;em&gt;connecting&lt;/em&gt; influence rather than a &lt;em&gt;disconnecting&lt;/em&gt; influence.  In a very &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.intercollegiatereview.com/index.php/2014/04/20/why-myth-matters/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;interesting article by Dwight Longnecker&lt;/a&gt; we read, &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;...in an increasingly global society, myth is a universal language. &amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt; The article goes on to show that shared myths connect people to society and learn societal truths in ways that cannot easily be done through simple rational thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you can share the santa myth as a myth from the beginning, but they will never experience that myth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That might be right for you and your family, but I'd hesitate to use such absolute language and universally discourage every parent from allowing their children to &lt;em&gt;experience&lt;/em&gt; the myth rather than simply learn of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there is the risk that your kid will tell other kids that do believe in Santa about it, but I think this could be easily handled. Could it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of this depends on how you present it, and your child's temperament.  If they already have a great deal of empathy, and you explain well that other children like to or are taught to believe that it's real, your child may show some restraint in offering corrections to other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be hard for some children, particularly those who value truth above all else and have a strong sense of justice, to &lt;em&gt;allow&lt;/em&gt; others to believe in something they themselves don't believe in.  It can be hard for even adults to do this, so we can hardly place the blame on children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it can be &lt;em&gt;easily&lt;/em&gt; handled.  However, I do believe you can defend yourself with the simple fact that the truth is on your side, and thus you might not suffer any ill effects.  Unfortunately that might not be true for other children or their families. I don't think there's any way you can spare them without strictly instructing your child that they are not allowed to spoil the other children's fun - and then hoping that they follow those instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more involved you are in the santa myth, though, the more easily your child will avoid these issues entirely.  Reminding them every other day when they talk about santa that santa isn't real will prevent them from pretending.  When they talk about Dora you don't continually remind them that dora isn't real - they already know.  So you needn't offer corrections.  You can leave out cookies and milk, or give them a present &amp;quot;from&amp;quot; santa and they will see that pretending is ok - and thus they might give others the choice and chance to pretend without constant correction and possible arguments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Good effect of &amp;quot;playing&amp;quot; santa&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, on to the good stuff.  You never asked if playing santa has had any particularly good effects.  It has, in fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our children are more skeptical, and try to work things out for themselves a little more rather than blindly trusting an authority figure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can tell my children that they shouldn't blindly trust authority figures, but what I discovered is that if I didn't model the behavior of society to some degree, no matter what I told them they would believe me.  And when I told them to trust someone else, they would blindly follow that person.  This has a lot of risks in life.  Sure, they would eventually figure things out on their own, but santa gives a relatively safe space for them to explore what truth is, how to discover false stories, and, most importantly, to seek out the truth even in the face of a supposed authority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, I want my children to trust me, but I also want them to understand that there are absolute truths, half truths, and myths or lies.  Discerning the difference will be important for them as youth and adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if I falter as a parent, they have the skills and ability to chalk it up to me being human, and discovering the truth themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are certainly other ways to do this, but the santa myth accomplishes several things with little to no disappointment or harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;of course there are ways to present it that will ultimately damage your relationship.  But if done thoughtfully, and with an air of fantasy, it can actually strengthen you relationship, and give your children skills they will need as adolescents and adults, and, helpfully, they'll have it by the time they reach the mental stage where it will most be needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;* I have 8 children, 3 of which know the truth, one of which probably knows but hasn't let on, and the other four are still experiencing the myth as though true.  Our only rule is that once you stop believing in santa, you no longer get gifts from him - they still receive what they would in either case, but none come from santa.  This has presented a new challenge to the older crew - and so far they've chosen to continue the pretense.  We've involved them more in the behind the scenes activities as well.  But, honestly, we don't really get into it.  We might leave cookies out once every few years, and presents from santa are typically smaller toys, they get the good stuff (and clothes) from us.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;There was no big reveal, crying, or evident disappointment. As they grew and experienced others' beliefs they came to their own conclusion, and when pressed for an answer, we would simply state the rule. &amp;quot;I'm not going to tell you what to believe, you'll have to decide for yourself based on the best evidence you have.  However, I should let you know that 'santa' gives gifts to those who at least appear to believe - so the fun isn't ruined for the younger children.&amp;quot;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T10:59:57.987" CommentCount="26" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T16:25:02.757" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no need to lie.  Telling the &quot;Jedi truth&quot; is a different matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember, back in college, turning on the TV and listening to some bible-thumper tell me that we shouldn't tell our children about Santa Claus, because we're eventually going to have to tell them that he's fake.  And then...maybe Jesus is fake?!?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm Christian, so this really got into my head.  I decided to turn the televangelist's view upside-down.  It's not that Jesus is fake like Santa is fake, it's that Santa is real in the same way that Jesus is real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was four or five years old, she asked me flat-out if Santa Claus was real.  I started talking about Jesus for a minute (stay with me here).  Jesus is real, but He's not particularly walking around on Earth like the rest of us.  Instead, he uses His church to do his work for him; that's why Christians are called &quot;the body of Christ&quot;.  It's human beings out there feeding the poor in the soup kitchens, healing the sick in the hospitals, and performing little miracles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she got that, I explained a little bit about St. Nicholas, who was no doubt a real human being.  Then I explained to her that, just like we are the hands of Jesus doing His work, her mom and I are doing the same as the hands of St. Nicholas, AKA Santa Claus.  No, there's no fat guy jumping down chimneys, but the spirit is there and our actions turn it into reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter jumped up excitedly and asked &quot;Does that mean that I get to be Santa too?&quot;  I couldn't have asked for a better response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14935" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T16:25:02.757" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T17:02:14.870" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;At a high level, even though truthfulness is very important for ethics, there are certain situations where it is ethically expected, acceptable, better or necessary to intentionally deceive someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a ruse or feint in war&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;undercover detective work&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a magic trick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a feint in most games or sports&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a disguise or costume in a play&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;concealing a surprise party&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;playing a harmless trick on someone for fun, (look up &lt;em&gt;Dinovember&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pretending along with an imaginary story&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;playing peek-a-boo&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think children are capable of understanding this ethical complexity quite early, so it's not unethical or harmful to pretend Santa exists. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We went lightly on the subject, not emphasizing Santa a whole lot but not trying to disillusion anyone, and 3 of our 4 kids have gracefully figured out what's going on. Their 3-year-old little sister is probably half-convinced Santa is real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="572" LastEditorUserId="572" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T23:55:07.207" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T23:55:07.207" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19790" CreationDate="2015-04-30T17:53:13.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking very specifically to the issue of becoming a doctor, I think that one very common reason for children to become doctors is &lt;em&gt;positive experiences with doctors&lt;/em&gt; during their childhood.  Children who have a serious illness or some sort of chronic or structural issue that means they spend a lot of time with a particular doctor or set of doctors, and form attachments to one or some of those doctors, in my experience often seem to want to head into medicine themselves - whether because of the emotional side of things or from a desire to give back some of what they received as a child.  Certainly not every doctor (or even most doctors) become one based on this, but from my anecdata, a reasonably high percentage of those who have these experiences go on to work in medicine in some way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, I think that the &quot;desire&quot; to become a doctor is probably not purely genetic - it's probably a combination of environment, personality, work ethic, and life experience.  Preparing someone from an early age to be a doctor is likely possible - not necessarily a good idea, but possible; and it may be possible to nudge them a bit such that if they have some proclivity to become a doctor already, they go that route, but if it's not something they're interested in, they don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T17:53:13.637" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19806" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20311" CreationDate="2015-04-30T18:16:39.273" Score="12" ViewCount="725" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently, I've been seeing videos and news that say that &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;gender identity&lt;/a&gt; is formed much earlier than commonly believed, with respect to gender identity disorders or being transgender. Such information has also been included in certain answers on this site. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it doesn't appear to have been explicitly asked here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;At what age or stage of development does a child's gender identity form?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To clarify the term, here's the first paragraph from the Wikipedia article linked to above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Gender identity is a person's private sense and subjective experience of their own gender. This is generally described as one's private sense of being a man or a woman, consisting primarily of the acceptance of membership into a category of people: male or female. All societies have a set of gender categories that can serve as the basis of the formation of a social identity in relation to other members of society. In most societies, there is a basic division between gender attributes assigned to males and females. In all societies, however, some individuals do not identify with some (or all) of the aspects of gender that are assigned to their biological sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; asking about:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19808/at-what-age-can-children-start-being-influenced-by-gender-stereotypes&quot;&gt;Gender roles&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sexual identity &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for &lt;strong&gt;research-backed answers&lt;/strong&gt; only. Since what I perceive to be commonly-held beliefs (or concepts that aren't often thought about) don't match up with some of the medical opinions I've read, I would like evidence to help turn my loose ideas into strong understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T17:01:55.450" Title="At what age is gender identity developed?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19808" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-04-30T18:24:39.547" Score="11" ViewCount="2379" Body="&lt;p&gt;There have a been a lot of questions lately asking about gender-equality scenarios. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19714/i-want-to-expose-my-5-year-old-daughter-to-boys-and-girls-toys-equally-but-she&quot;&gt;I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/16451/tv-shows-for-toddlers-that-dont-teach-bad-gender-and-race-dynamics&quot;&gt;TV shows for toddlers that don&amp;#39;t teach bad gender and race dynamics&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19336/how-should-i-handle-a-little-boy-who-likes-girls-toys&quot;&gt;How should I handle a little boy who likes girls&amp;#39; toys?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are more as you go further back. There are also other questions not explicitly about gender that mention gender roles in their answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm particularly interested in gender-equality, and I want to avoid, as best I can, reinforcing gender stereotypes. In order to accomplish this, it would help me to be aware of &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; children begin to be affected by bias.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; that it's likely that different types of bias will begin to affect children at different stages of development. Interaction with nuclear family may influence a child much earlier than, say, the fact that you usually only see super-buff males on comic book covers or fit, airbrushed models on fashion magazine covers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;At what ages or stages of development are children able to be influenced by cultural gender roles, biases, and stereotypes in their varying forms?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all forms begin influence at the same age, that's fine. That just means I'll have to begin being aware of them all-at-once and strive a little harder to be balance out external forces (including my own habits).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To clarify, I'm &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; asking about:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stereotypes regarding sexuality&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19806/at-what-age-is-gender-identity-developed&quot;&gt;Gender identity&lt;/a&gt;, which is a purely &lt;em&gt;internal&lt;/em&gt;, private sense of whether you're one gender or another.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; asking for &lt;strong&gt;research-backed&lt;/strong&gt; answers only. I think it's pivotal to use more than just anecdotes or opinions on a subject such as this. I want to avoid falling into the trap of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;common misconceptions&lt;/a&gt;, which are just as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/14-surprising-myths-about-parenthood/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;prevalent in parenting&lt;/a&gt; as anywhere else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-25T16:27:12.030" LastActivityDate="2019-02-25T16:35:35.253" Title="At what age can children start being influenced by gender stereotypes?" Tags="|social-development|research|gender-stereotypes|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T19:30:18.773" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the way that you phrased your opening statement, it sounds like you feel that the revelation of the truth of Santa Claus has to be a negative thing, that feelings of betrayal and distrust are an inevitability.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that it depends a lot upon the way your family celebrates Christmas and the level of deception.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some families, Santa Claus is the main event: his presents are bigger and shinier than the others, and the night before is filled with excitement about when he is going to come and what you are going to receive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We grew up with Santa Claus, but he was not the most important part of Christmas.  The focus was always on family.  The fiction was there, but it was not something that was oversold.  My brother and I would each leave a merry looking pillow case out and the next day we would get a little treasure trove of curiosities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember once asking my mother, &quot;Do &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; believe in Santa Claus?&quot; She gave me a very slippery, &quot;I believe in the Christmas spirit!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never felt betrayed by the fact I was deceived.  I enjoyed the idea of Santa Claus for a long time, and always loved opening the presents with my family.  I think it was a lot of fun for them, too.  Also when I found out he was not real, it was a relief.  The thought of a being with that much power not using it to help the people who really needed them was a disheartening one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14943" LastEditorUserId="14943" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T23:31:05.347" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T23:31:05.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T19:58:01.310" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A dozen different answers an a dozen different opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two kids who believed in Santa until about ages 8 and 7 (younger one got hints from the older one) and all I can say is that they were just thrilled with the idea when they believed and were not disappointed at all when they found out the truth.  It was more like a funny teasing.  There were absolutely no bad feelings on the part of either child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But then... &lt;strong&gt;I still believe in Santa&lt;/strong&gt;, and perhaps that makes a difference.  When they were young and would ask if I believed, I'd always say &quot;Yes, but differently than you do.&quot;  Now that they're older, I explain it more as a &quot;spirit of Christmas&quot; -- not a person but an idea and a feeling of giving and good-will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my kids were to ever accuse me of having lied to them, I'd say something like, &quot;I did not tell you the truth, you're correct.  However, it wasn't done to deceive you but to give you a fun and joyous experience, a 'wonder' and a feeling of magic.  And from the joy you displayed through those years, I cannot feel it was a bad thing.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3293" LastEditorUserId="3293" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T20:03:52.860" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T20:03:52.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2015-04-30T20:44:54.247" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teenagers, even ones who appear to waste their lives on social media, cannot possibly have an absolute lack of interests. And while I am only reluctantly admitting this, social media in itself is a profession, and in these days it is becoming more integral and valuable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly dislike social media for a huge number of reasons but it is undeniable that the rest of the world does not share that same opinion. And where we as parents only see a time sink, draining the very souls from our families, they must be getting something out of it to justify their attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the word &quot;valuable&quot; is a matter of contention in this case because what I feel is valuable may very well differ from the majority of people's opinions. I am a programmer but I use very little actual math in my job. So did I need to take an interest in math? Evidently not. I never played an instrument but I did score some music for a video game. But I didn't need to be classically trained to do so. So &quot;valuable&quot; may not necessarily apply to professional gain. Perhaps intellectually? For social development, you are most likely to use and share opinions discussed on social media more than quadratic equations or gravitational differences in celestial bodies. Though, those subjects are interesting ones to the right people, they may not be entirely relevant to day to day life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One in a million has everything to thank for social media. Justin Beiber may not have made it without it... though he is a musician. The highest paid ad generator on youtube is someone who does absolutely nothing more than open little toy packages in front of a camera. Paid over $4 million in ad revenue last year alone. Thank you social media. The owner of the infamous grumpy cat spread the visage of this cat over social media, which led to sponsorships, modeling and so on for her pet that and as such has made more money than Katy Perry and Britney Spears combined. By twice even. None of which would have happened if these people didn't waste their lives in front of these time sinks. So &quot;valuable&quot; can not necessarily apply to monetary gain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what exactly does &quot;valuable&quot; mean? To me, I would say happiness. If she is happy, and this is part of her routine, then be happy for her that she has something keeping her happy. There's a common fear among parents and the notion of rebellious teenagers, who are notorious for inexplicable unhappy phases. It is possible we owe more thanks to facebook, tumblr, youtube, etc than we may want to admit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a side note, we have a full time employee here whose only job is to use facebook, twitter, etc to &quot;talk&quot; about us, comment on interesting things, and stay social. These jobs exist and the people doing them seem to like it. Go figure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="13274" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T20:57:32.280" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T20:57:32.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-04-30T21:33:03.483" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Christmas is a selfless holiday where we give presents to others and don't need to mention it's from us.  Being that Christmas is a Christian holiday, Christianity teaches selflessness.  When Jesus died on the cross, he spoke to the Father (God.) Jesus' death was a selfless sacrifice (God's will) for the greater good of humanity, and instead of ascribing the Glory to himself, he ascribed it to God. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Santa Claus is another name for Saint Nicholas.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had a reputation for &lt;strong&gt;secret&lt;/strong&gt; gift-giving. Saint Nicholas says it is not him he should thank, but God alone.  That is why we Christians say the presents are from Santa, because we should be thanking God alone, and that when we say our presents are from Santa, we are saying the presents are from God.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not a lie to say presents are coming from Santa.  We are doing the same thing Santa was doing.  Secret gift-giving, but this time we are ascribing it to Santa, who ascribed his secret gift-giving from God.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness. Honor the LORD for the glory of his name. Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness.&quot; ~ Psalm 29:2&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus it's super fun for the children to have Santa Clause give them presents. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14946" LastEditorUserId="14946" LastEditDate="2015-04-30T21:41:53.283" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T21:41:53.283" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19665" CreationDate="2015-04-30T23:44:18.297" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had similar issues for a while with our daughter and eventually got past them with a few methods, which among other things involved talking about others using the toilet, praise for when she used it and creating a little reward system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, we use a child toilet seat that slots on top of any toilet so we can take it anywhere. Something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/phsvJ.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't have one, or would consider buying something new, let her pick one. You can get them in lots of styles, possibly in her favourite colour and even with characters from tv shows she likes, which might be something that makes her more comfortable with sitting on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We spent about a week with no nappies on except for bedtime, and there were a few accidents along the way. She pretty much seemed to have her BM first thing in the morning or when she got in bed at night, so she had her nappy on. Whether she was holding it or not, it wasn't clear. She would also sometimes ask to have a pull up nappy so she could do it, and like you we took it one victory at a time as she was using the toilet and potty (we had both options) to pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talking about it&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used to talk about using the toilet. So we would say things like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;mummy and daddy sit on the toilet when they need a pooh&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd always try to tell her when we were going, so it seemed normal, and sometimes joke about using the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: mummy, where are you going?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wife: I'm going for a pooh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: are you going on the potty?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wife: no, I'm too big for the potty, mummies and daddies sit on the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found that she'd start copying us with these questions and jokes, so it was mildly amusing for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd also ask about other children at nursery, as the best encouragement can often come with seeing that children her age are doing it. So we'd ask her which of her friends were using the toilet at nursery. We also used to ask the nursery staff so we could say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aimee told us today that Elouise did a pooh on the toilet today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Rewards&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter loves stickers, so we got a reward chart sticker book with some of her favourite characters. Every time she used the toilet, she got a sticker. We also bought some more special stickers as further incentive for when she wasn't using the toilet for BM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used to get her some form of treat at the end of the week, or when each section of the chart was complete, with a promise of going toy shopping when it was fully filled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Show how proud you are&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she first started using the toilet, we showed her we were very proud of her with overly enthusiastic praise and plenty of cuddles and generally verbalizing her achievement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used to ask her to tell people why she was wearing a sticker. We would drop her off at nursery and ask her to tell her key worker what she did last night too. More often than not she was shy about it initially, so we would tell them for her, but they were great and full of enthusiasm, which helped. Seeing positive reactions to the news encouraged her, and eventually she was happy and proud enough to tell people herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did try not to push it on to her and if she refused to used the toilet, we didn't make a big deal of it as we didn't want to associate her getting upset with using the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were a few periods when she hadn't been for a few days and when the time came it seemed to hurt. We found that it seemed to coincide with her possibly not drinking enough fluid on those days, so we tried to ensure that she drank more and also increased her fruit intake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6837" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-04-30T23:56:33.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19765" CreationDate="2015-05-01T04:49:41.657" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The disadvantages of the dorm are probably pretty obvious, especially as regards cost....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An advantage of the dorm is that each time a person tackles a challenge such as moving to a new place, finding their way around, arranging their nest to their satisfaction, getting comfy, etc., the person will have more confidence about future challenges of this type.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's often good for a young person to step gradually up the ladder of independence, in manageable steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T04:49:41.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19766" CreationDate="2015-05-01T05:03:37.603" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about looking at some magazine recipes and cookbooks at the library together, coming up with a plan, going shopping together, and then doing a cooking project?  Obviously, this wouldn't be all in one day!  The glossy photographs are helpful to spark the child's fantasy.  Make sure you choose magazines or cookbooks that don't have sweets, baked goods, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't try to hard to find a magical dish that will work for both children.  Focus on one at a time at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can run out of the processed stuff and then not get around to buying any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My picky eater sometimes enjoys grilling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He loves going out to eat.  He'll try all manner of things off the beaten path as long as it wasn't prepared by me in our kitchen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he's gotten the hang of eating something elsewhere, I am sometimes able to introduce it at home successfully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Blindfold taste tests can be a fun way to get a child to try something new.  For example, small cheese cubes, one mild Cheddar and one some other flavor.  Or yellow squash versus zucchini.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sometimes quietly put a raw finger food, such as carrots, sugar snap peas, or thin sliced orange or yellow bell pepper, next to the child while he's doing homework or doing bedtime reading with his father.  I do this without a fanfare.  Sometimes he eats it and sometimes he doesn't.  That's okay with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T05:03:37.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19772" CreationDate="2015-05-01T05:19:14.977" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;William Sears wrote a book about attaching as a father.  Interesting reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your example -- from the child's point of view, the father is being lost, presumably forever.  That's huge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there are times when families have to make sacrifices.  It always amazes me how well children usually adjust and recover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T05:19:14.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12428" CreationDate="2015-05-01T05:46:07.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I use time-out mainly as a way for my child to regain some measure of inner self-control. When he comes out of time-out, he's more in touch with himself and more in control. Instead of just riffing off others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our family therapist had us buy a triple hour glass gadget that had a different color sand for each hourglass -- for one minute, three minutes and five minutes. She wanted it to be very visual. For the first few years it tended to go as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This example has to do with my son's proclivity to interrupt constantly at dinner, making it impossible to have any kind of conversation at the dinner table. At the first interruption, I reminded him of the expectation. The next time he interrupted, he was put in time-out for one minute. To put him in time-out, I would say, &quot;Green chair, one minute. One... two... three.&quot; If he wasn't sitting in the green chair yet by the time I said &quot;three,&quot; I would escalate: &quot;Green chair, three minutes.&quot; I only rarely had to get to five minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He knows he has to go there and sit down because if he doesn't, he'll get more time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rules for the green chair are, you have to sit quietly without playing with anything. Other family members have to be supportive by not interacting with the child in time-out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he talked while in the green chair, his time requirement started from the beginning again. In practice this meant that he would get a little more than a minute, because after flipping the egg timer back, I had to wait for the sand to run back to the starting point before saying, &quot;begin.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he got out of the green chair prematurely, he had to begin again from the beginning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I made sure my son understood what he was in time-out for (if I thought there was any doubt) -- but not until the prescribed time was up. This was not usually necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to avoid a lecture, and just move on with life when the time had been served.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I do sometimes have to hold him to help him calm down.  My focus is generally on helping him slow down his breathing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  Lots of exercise and fresh air seem to help.  And we have a hand-me-down drumset -- that's great for getting energy out in a non-destructive way.  I try to get the school to give him less sit-still time and more active time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A regular bedtime is my religion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Unless damage is being done -- your primary disciplinary tool may be to withdraw attention when he is so revved up.  Consider -- the more excited he gets, the more excited you get, and when you get very excited, he does not calm down until there's been a big theatrical scene.  (Please don't be offended -- I can't tell you how many times my husband or I have fallen into this trap.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See if you can get some early intervention occupational therapy.  If the therapist is good, this can help with self-regulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T05:46:07.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19789" CreationDate="2015-05-01T05:53:15.637" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician gave us permission to give some more melatonin at 3 am.  However, you might want to try gradually decreasing the evening melatonin.  You can buy it in a liquid form and that way you can ramp down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people give a little bit of Benadryl, but this revved my child up when we tried it at age 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child takes a nap, perhaps eliminating the nap would help.  9:30 strikes me as a late-ish bedtime for age 3, unless there's a consistent nap going on.  If there's no nap, then perhaps what's going on is that the child is short on sleep.  This can paradoxically cause sleep problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can use stories and books on tape as a way of keeping a child calm without a lot of light and stimulation when insomnia hits.  It should be a story that's so familiar it's gotten just a little boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-04T17:37:00.223" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T17:37:00.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19791" CreationDate="2015-05-01T05:58:53.647" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of great ideas here.  I'll just add two:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If Mama needs to do a little housework, put baby in the stroller and wheel her around the house while carrying laundry to another room, etc.  Do some wheelies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Idea #2: Hired a mother's helper for an hour a day if you can find a young neighbor who's interested in babies.  A mother's helper is a child who's not old enough to babysit yet.  The pay scale is much lower.  Babies and six-year-olds get along great.  The mother's helper can make silly faces, play peekaboo, sing songs, give a little puppet show, etc., while Mama can step away from center stage for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T05:58:53.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19778" CreationDate="2015-05-01T06:30:25.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to offer you an option, a description of how things work at my house, for you to consider.  I have two boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each child gets a cell phone and a laptop when he goes to college.  On the other hand, he gets a simple mp3 player that does not connect to the internet, as soon as he can be trusted not to lose it.  The desktop computer is in the living room.  The child doesn't have an account on either parent's laptop.  The child's desktop account has strict controls, which get gradually relaxed as the child matures.  Age 11 at our house generally needs maximum controls.  I do not allow google and I especially do not allow google images at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if the child wants to buy himself a magazine with curvy ladies from the drug store... I can live with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think some of the porn-seeking behavior is a bit like a moth seeking the flame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I think an over-exposure to pornography can get both young men and young women confused about what they think one is supposed to enjoy, versus what they and their partner do enjoy.  And it takes away some of the miracle of discovery with the partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't have a good book written for boys about sexuality on hand, it would be a good idea to pick one up.  The one I chose last year for my then 11yo is called &quot;It's Perfectly Normal.&quot;  You have to go to the bookstore and browse, so you can choose something that feels right for you and your son, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can go to the movies together, as a family; the movies you choose can get very gradually a little more risqué.  You want him to have mental images of healthy, realistic romantic interactions.  I don't mean people having sex -- I mean people developing relationships, feeling attraction, figuring out how to act on those interests, getting through difficulties, etc., and you want the child to see some images of kissing, hugging and caressing in this context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.  Can you give him back some computer access, but with safety built in?  On our Windows 7 desktop, we have had good results with Windows Live Family Safety, which is free.  I can choose the settings my child needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of times a week, I sit down at the desktop with my son, and we go on my account (no controls!) and we surf TOGETHER.  I have absolute veto power.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to find some adjustments that will convey the message to your son that what happened was understandable and normal (but not healthy), and that you don't blame him.  So that he doesn't feel guilty about what happened.  You might want to discreetly point out the curvy ladies magazine section next time you're in the drug store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope some of our customs give you some ideas for things that will work for you and your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T06:30:25.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19796" CreationDate="2015-05-01T06:40:54.493" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to supplement breast milk with some other milk, make sure you buy baby formula, either based on cow's milk or on soy milk.  Don't use plain cow's milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Express milk from your breasts often, so you can increase how much milk your breasts are making.  You can even give the expressed milk to your baby as a supplement!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to give a supplement is with a special gadget that delivers milk to baby through a thin, flexible tube, which you line up with your nipple so that baby takes the nipple and the tube in its mouth at the same time.  The reason the tube needs to be very small, is so that the milk only flows when the baby is actively sucking.  (If the milk flows too easily, the baby will become lazy, and not suck hard enough on the nipple, and then your breasts won't be stimulated to make a lot of milk.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two brands of supplementer gadgets:&#xA;Lactaid: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lact-aid.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.lact-aid.com/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;and SNS: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/51/supplemental-nursing-system-sns&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/51/supplemental-nursing-system-sns&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, you can use a large syringe (with no needle, of course), and push the plunger in very slowly, as you are nursing.  This is something you could start doing very quickly, because you can buy the syringe in your pharmacy right away.  The supplementers usually have to be ordered on the internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, in an emergency, you can use a sippy cup:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/PH6Vx.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;sippy cup&quot;&gt;&#xA;and pour the formula very slowly into baby's mouth.  If you don't have a sippy cup, you can use a paper cup and pinch the top to make a little spout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel you must give the baby a bottle, please try to find the kind of bottle that doesn't encourage lazy sucking.  I'm sorry, I don't know a brand to suggest.  What you're looking for is a bottle that makes the baby work hard at sucking -- without frustrating baby TOO much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the U.S. you can work with a midwife or lactation consultant to help you figure all these things out.  If you are in another country, could you ask if there is someone who gives this kind of assistance?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can find a chapter of La Leche League where you live, that would be great.  They can help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-05-01T06:46:05.320" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T06:46:05.320" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2015-05-01T06:58:11.223" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The computer/phone time (Facebook, etc.) need to be set up as free-time pursuits, i.e. rewards for having made a solid effort with schoolwork and helping around the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she starts experiencing some success in school, and understands the pattern, it will get easier to implement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is called parental discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T06:58:11.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19765" CreationDate="2015-05-01T10:00:36.310" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I may have some insights as a college student, although I've admittedly never lived in dormitories or campus housing. I've only been a purely nontraditional student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Disadvantages&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Cost&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I attend a state university, and the resident rates for room and board for next year are going to be about $8000 for the next school year. This includes &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; the fall and spring terms. Summer costs extra.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, many colleges and universities require first-year and/or on-campus students to purchase some type of college meal plan. My university has plans with an average price of $8.86 a meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, having your student live in the dormitories is going to expand your costs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Availability&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned in a comment, many dorms are closed for breaks and holidays, so the student needs to arrange to live somewhere else for that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another type of availability is your student's availability to you, which will understandably be considerably less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Sharing Space&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many universities now have surveys that students take that help match them with room mates. Supposedly, it increases your chances of getting a room mate that is compatible with your lifestyle. Nevertheless, your student will have to adjust to living with one or more people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could be argued to be an advantage, though, as they will have to develop some life skills due to sharing the space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also communal bathrooms, which can be less tidy than personal bathrooms. And, the nature of shared spaces, and community areas, means that the noise pollution may be higher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend my wife, who goes to a different university, had a bad dorm layout last school year: You had to go &lt;em&gt;through&lt;/em&gt; her room to get to the rest of the dorm. She had create a makeshift privacy curtain for bed time, but the curtain didn't help that the door was often noisily opened late at night when she was trying to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also just have &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; space to yourself. Your student won't likely be able to bring all of their belongings with them, so they'll have to make careful choices. A very common situation in my experience is that parents end up having to buy &lt;em&gt;new&lt;/em&gt; furniture, bedding, and dorm accessories that specifically take advantage of the smaller spaces. So, add that to the costs, as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;School Rules&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're living on campus, it means you're not only subject to school policies and restrictions while at class, but while you're at home. Some policies can be restrictive or frustrating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, my university does not allow you to have your own WiFi router, because the worry of signal interference. So, this means that &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of your Internet traffic goes through university-monitored devices and networking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Adjusting to Independence&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;College itself is a big change. Classes are taught differently, there are different expectations, there are more organizations to be part of, more people. Put all that change together with the removal of the safety net of the family home, and there could be some anxiety and homesickness to be concerned about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Students also have to become more responsible for their day-to-day needs. They need to remember to buy their toiletries, do their laundry (they need to know how!), get and prepare food, follow their schedule, set up appointments, and on and on. This can be quite a burden on new students, and a source of stress and frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These things can be mitigated by preparing your child for independence well before college time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Advantages&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Freedom&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your student won't be tied to home and the habits that developed there. They'll be free to pursue their interests and activities without being under your scrutiny. So, they may try things they wouldn't normally, because they don't have to worry about your feelings on the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They'll also be much closer to their classes, campus activities, study groups, organizations, and social events. A lot of what your student can do at college, that really makes the experience fulfilling, is done outside the classrooms. My university advises all new students to join clubs, because students in clubs are statistically more successful in their college career.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You&lt;/em&gt; will also have some freedom. Any regular chores or duties that you may have been doing because of your student will largely go away. Smaller meals can be cooked, less dishes will get dirty, laundry can get done less often. Household outings to the movies or restaurants also mean a lower cost, presuming you don't feel the need to include the student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Included Services&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you live in a dorm, you often pay for everything up front. So, you don't have to worry about monthly bills or setting up utilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cleaning services are usually in charge of cleaning various parts of the dorm, so the burden doesn't completely fall on the student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The meal plans that are usually required generally provide for a good variety of prepared foods. Your student won't be eating just ramen noodles, or peanut butter from the jar. They'll have to figure out some of their meals on their own, but they'll likely take full advantage of all the cafeteria offerings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Networking&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your student won't get to know the pulse of the school better than by living there. Not only will they get a better sense of the campus culture and workings, but they'll likely meet more of their peers and make more connections. Some of these connections may help them in their schooling, and some may actually help them in their future career.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on their major and career choice, these networking opportunities may be pivotal in landing them the best starting position. I would not underestimate the value of these word-of-mouth and face-to-face interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T10:00:36.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5872" CreationDate="2015-05-01T12:02:15.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to make him trust you (earn his trust), trust himself, and think of his needs. I think he needs more attention and love from you and his dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing of what you said means he is going to be a gay. Maybe he is walking like that because he feel like every body is looking at him. The diary could be because he feels the need write down what he thinks can't tell any one. His games because he wants to talk with a girl but he doesn't has the courage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All you need to do is love him and give him attention and make him feel he is strong man. Ask him for help by saying for example &quot;I need a strong man to help me with this would you do that?&quot; Things like that make him feel that he can do a lot of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14956" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-05-01T13:46:29.783" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T13:46:29.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19828" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19831" CreationDate="2015-05-01T12:48:54.617" Score="10" ViewCount="5157" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eleven-year-old daughter who has been in dance classes since she was four.  She loves ballet, and she loves to perform.  However, she does not care for the stretching and practicing that are part of the dance routine.  I am trying to figure out how to motivate her to practice her steps and movements more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her teacher's studio is not large.  There are only three other girls in her class, and there no older students at all.  She's the most experienced and skillful ballerina in the studio.  However, I actually think this is unfortunate, because it leaves her without older role models to look up to and to emulate.  She is satisfied with how well she is doing, and I do not want to give her the impression that she is doing poorly by pushing her too hard.  On the other hand, I know that she could do better, and I am looking for advice about how to gently encourage her to practice, so she can really reach her potential as a young ballerina.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2015-05-04T08:56:06.663" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T11:07:55.437" Title="How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?" Tags="|pre-teen|activities|motivation|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-05-01T13:15:34.620" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You let her play in the creative ways that make her happy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a side note, if you ever handed toddlers an 18&quot; piece of foam, like a piece of a floating thing they use in a pool, the girls will immediately coddle it, like a baby, and the boys will either hit each other with them, or use them as a projectile. This is their nature. It's worse to force change than to provide choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I recommend is to read to her, offering a variety of books, and let her choose what she likes. The correlation of future success in school and early access to books is very high, use that to your advantage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage her to take on challenges, and from your own words, don't let her think she can't do something &quot;because she's a girl.&quot; When my daughter was 6, I gave her the opportunity to change a light dimmer. I used words and pointed, but she did all the work, understood the breaker panel in basement, etc. I didn't talk about it in terms of gender, only that most adults wouldn't attempt this, and an electrician would charge $150. (So she asked me for $50, and I handed it over. Right into her college account at her request, smart kid). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The media is your biggest enemy. Here are two toys, I had seen this in a Sunday paper ad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/7p9XU.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fashion for girls, race cars for boys. Advertising, TV ad placement, and movie themes are all going to work against your goals. You can't hide this from your kids. No more than you can hide all the race and political issues that are otherwise tangent to this discussion. They'll see the news and be influenced by friends and friends' parents. You can only set the example in your own house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3706" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-03T05:02:53.720" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T05:02:53.720" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-01T14:28:53.797" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the great answers covering how you portray Santa, I'll add something related that's worth thinking about, regardless of when you address the reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you handle the revelation is very important, also.  Be aware of your child's personality, and be prepared for several different eventualities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is a &quot;rules&quot; child - teacher's pet, wants everyone to follow the rules of games, etc. - he or she will likely at some point discover the &quot;truth&quot;, and decide it is his or her job to let everyone know the truth; siblings, friends, schoolmates.  This will be frustrating for you as a parent - and the other parents and teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if your child is very attached to Santa, it may lead to the child being very sad to learn Santa isn't real.  He or she will need comforting, and an explanation that allows him or her to retain the magic - such as some of the explanations above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other personality types may have different reactions as well, so think about how your chld may react, and be prepared in advance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will add that I was the first type of child, and my parents did not think things through in advance.  Around nine or ten, I accidentally stumbled onto the Santa present stash, then on Christmas Day found the same present, and announced it to my younger siblings. That led to a bad reaction from my parents, which while they eventually realized they handled it badly and corrected things, was definitely something they didn't think through in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T14:28:53.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19828" CreationDate="2015-05-01T14:45:35.997" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;This can be a common issue in children who are very successful in almost anything: when they are motivated by success, and that success is easy to achieve, they see no reason to work hard to achieve basically the same success.  The returns for additional success tend to be diminishing; being a big fish in a small pond can be very comfortable to someone motivated by that success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is focusing on continued challenges rather than just on success.  This is why we're taught nowadays to encourage &quot;trying&quot; rather than praising &quot;success&quot;: the latter encourages doing easy things, the former harder things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is eleven, she's old enough to be part of this discussion: why she should challenge herself rather than be comfortable in success. She's also old enough to disagree. She may not want to be any more successful than she is - perhaps dancing is a good release for her but not something she wants to work at for a good reason.  Be prepared for that answer, and if she is serious about that, be prepared to accept it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is at that point - where she truly doesn't want to &quot;reach her potential&quot; as you state it - then she may be ready for a different role: that of mentor for other chilren.  One good transition can be to being teaching others and helping them learn, as that is a powerful way to learn leadership and other useful skills for later in life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T14:45:35.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19808" CreationDate="2015-05-01T16:00:58.583" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;No particular age has been set in stone, but there is some evidence to suggest as early as 18 months of age (Eichstedt et al., &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0163638302000814&quot;&gt;2002&lt;/a&gt;; Poulin-Dubois, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/23093706?uid=3737720&amp;amp;uid=2&amp;amp;uid=4&amp;amp;sid=21106234609381&quot;&gt;1998&lt;/a&gt;). However, it is quite possible the answer depends on the child's cognitive, social, language development. In fact quite a bit of literature suggests that at the very least 2 years old's are able to associate the relevant gender stereotypes to themselves and to others  ( Serbin et al. &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1207/S15327078IN0304_07/abstract&quot;&gt;2002&lt;/a&gt;; Poulin-Dubois et al., &lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1467-9507.00193/abstract?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&amp;amp;userIsAuthenticated=false&quot;&gt;2002&lt;/a&gt; ). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, what causes these 1 1/2 year old or 2 year old children to already have preconceived ideas on &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_typing&quot;&gt;gender type&lt;/a&gt;? Most of it can be attributed to indirect cues that were provided by parents. To illustrate that point,  Gelman, Taylor, &amp;amp; Nguyen did a study where mothers would read picture books to their child(ren) and found that these mothers were subtlety giving cues like &quot;Most girls don't like trucks&quot; and so forth (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3701396?uid=3737720&amp;amp;uid=2&amp;amp;uid=4&amp;amp;sid=21106234609381&quot;&gt;2004&lt;/a&gt;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now lets address this question are cues the only source of gender typing? No, no they are not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first factor is the family/parents, but I already addressed that to a certain  degree.  However, I wanted to point out that some parents do actively reinforce gender type. I am not going reference a study for this as I am sure most people can think of at least anecdotal evidence of this statement.... just know that anecdotal evidence is &quot;true&quot;. Furthermore, I am ignoring siblings as they tend to play a similar role to peers which is addressed later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another influence on gender typing is biology. According to de Waal, all male mammalian species activity tends to be aggressive and females prefer activities that require certain amount of emotional sensitivity and both prefer to associate with same-sex individuals {this same-sex association is important, but I'll address that a little later}(&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=fOtygLe7GXUC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PA285&amp;amp;dq=de%20Waal%201993%20sex%20difference&amp;amp;ots=RRuNpM6AFe&amp;amp;sig=jscPAMuqN75K2qi4kscnKKPkeJw#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=de%20Waal%201993%20sex%20difference&amp;amp;f=false&quot;&gt;1993&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=LavQGJVq5ScC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PA2&amp;amp;dq=de%20Waal%202001%20Tree&amp;amp;ots=IC4aRynOdG&amp;amp;sig=u2YjzkyWJvXCz67MhxKK3haB3qg#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=de%20Waal%202001%20Tree&amp;amp;f=false&quot;&gt;2001&lt;/a&gt;). It is the very likely reason why a boy might like an aggressive sport like football and why a girl might like a emotionally sensitive event like a tea party, that is, their genetic disposition makes certain activities more &quot;pleasurable&quot; than others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last factors is are your peers. Your peers reinforce gender typing. An example of such a reinforcing behavior is boys and girls will actively ignore/criticize any of their peers that engage in cross gender activities (Fagot, &lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF00288113&quot;&gt;1984&lt;/a&gt;). Consequently, due to this behavior children come to believe the legitimacy of gender segregation and gender-stereotyped activities (Martin et al., &lt;a href=&quot;http://spr.sagepub.com/content/16/6/751.short&quot;&gt;1999&lt;/a&gt;). Keep in mind there are cultural difference as well, but this sums up the generality pretty well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some other factors such as role modes (E.G. teachers, T.V. Stars) and just the general social environment (E.G. commercials). However, these factors tend to be in my opinion not that significant. I'll go into a little more depth if there is a demand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer/Notes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most significant problem to this question is how do you measure the influence of gender stereotypes on a child who is most likely unable to communicate with you, let alone give any significant insights? In fact, if you clicked on the Poulin-Dubois 1998 link you'll notice that this article tests 18 month year old's if they can distinguish between a lady and a man which is not direct evidence. However, I think if the child is able to generally understand the concept of gender then they can be gender typed.   While I have no direct evidence back that claim up I think it is accurate. Furthermore, I could easily argue that very young babies could be somewhat conditioned to certain stereotypes, but for reasons that would add another unnecessary paragraph I will excluded that argument. Feel free to disagree with either statement.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, this answer is based largely upon on some notes that I wrote a year ago in a child psychology class so if I wrote something in err let me know and I'll correct it or suggest why it is correct. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14962" LastEditorUserId="14962" LastEditDate="2015-05-02T02:38:46.893" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T02:38:46.893" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19828" CreationDate="2015-05-01T16:24:39.883" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a common saying among highly-successful people, which is to never be the smartest person in the room.  You grow by surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to be better.  Somewhat counterintuitively, if you want to be truly successful, you need to fail sometimes.  If you never fail, you're not pushing your boundaries.  You're playing it too safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your daughter's situation, you need to find a way to up her game.  Give her a chance to learn from failure.  That means joining a more competitive studio, or going out for more challenging auditions.  She needs the experience of trying for a part and not getting it.  Take her to more performances of world-class dancers, so she has something to aspire to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I play the organ for church.  I'm mediocre by professional standards, but pretty good for a volunteer amateur.  People frequently ask me how I became a good organist.  They say they want to learn, but the organ is significantly more complex than piano and they are terrible at it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tell them the secret is to keep playing even though they're terrible, then in 10 years they'll suddenly realize they aren't terrible anymore.  To my knowledge, no one has yet taken me up on that advice, even people with much more natural talent than I have.  They are too conditioned to think of temporary failure as a bad thing.  They are too happy to stick with what they are already good at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T16:24:39.883" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19828" CreationDate="2015-05-01T17:47:04.863" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can speak from experience as someone who has had multiple talents, but is lazy: I do things because I enjoy them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I, for example, rarely did anything with my clarinet for the sake of becoming a better clarinetist. The music we were going to perform? I played it because I enjoyed playing it. I never really practiced for an abstract sense of becoming better. Practice was for concrete things: e.g. I wanted to play something, but I could not, so I fixed the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same with training exercises. Work on my scales? Never. I'd play them because I had an urge to feel smug about how rapidly I could play a Db scale, or because I liked playing high notes and was annoyed that I still couldn't hit that double-high G smoothly or reliably in tune so I wanted to take another go at it. But never just for the sake of training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could never be a world-class musician with such a work ethic, but I was still able to become &lt;em&gt;very good&lt;/em&gt; and attain a level of excellence I was quite happy with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is anything like I was, the point is, you won't get anywhere by telling her to do unfun things for the sake of achieving her potential; at worst it might push her to the point where ballet is more of a chore than a source of enjoyment and she'll stop pursuing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, let her enjoy things -- and give her more things to enjoy, and targets she wants to reach. I don't really know anything about ballet so I don't know how feasible or safe these suggestions will be (consult with her instructor!) but I imagine things like&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her a way to practice her routine for fun when she wants to.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maybe she would enjoy trying to perform the routine even faster than it normally goes?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you have something you want her to practice, give her something fun to do that involves them. Maybe a new dance, or some sort of challenge routine. If she enjoys them, she'll do the dance or strive to meet the challenge. (if not, don't try to force it!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, the point is, let her do the fun things, and offer her more fun and/or challenging things to do if she wants to. Don't give her training chores to do, unless she actually &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; them and/or the results that they would let her achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11971" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T17:47:04.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19828" CreationDate="2015-05-01T19:17:46.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not going to tell you to deliver an ultimatum, but...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are in a sense enabling the behavior. You could move her to a different studio as the other answers suggested, but if you are that concerned with your daughter going through the motions you could simply stop supporting her in doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you are so financially well-off that the money is not a concern, you are spending &lt;em&gt;your most precious resource, your time&lt;/em&gt; (I'm assuming a couple of things here: that you transport her to and from, that you stay at the studio while she's in class, etc). That's time that you could be spending with her in a more direct fashion, or both of you separately working on more productive endeavours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why are you spending money and time on something she doesn't take seriously? I'm all for kids having leisure time but that doesn't require such an investment in terms of resources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may of course want to be little cautious in how you broach this to her. Although this has already been alluded to in comments above, your daughter may be suffering from the notion that she is 'talented'. I say suffering because according to the work of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Dweck&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Carol Dweck&lt;/a&gt; and others children who believe they are talented tend to avoid any situation that might disabuse them of that notion: they seek easy victories and familiar waters, always with fragile ego in need of protection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may very well be scared of not having that constant reinforcement that she's gifted by being visibly better than the people around her. But she will sooner or later. The world is a big place, its far better for her to learn what is required for success (namely diligence and training) at eleven than at eighteen (or thirty).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T19:17:46.157" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19808" CreationDate="2015-05-01T20:00:56.753" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've no science to back this up. But please keep your mind open when considering what I write.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are a sum of our experiences. And we start experiencing things even before we are born. Would argue, that children start being influenced by stereotypes of all the people they meet almost immediately after being born. They observe and learn the world in a way we adults will never comprehend. Everything around them influences them, even if it's as simple as them having a pink or blue teddy bear or dad getting angry with/at people with different skin colour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A two week old may notice, that the deep low funny sounding blur is usually blue or black with a white circle above it, but the high-pitched caring voice is usually pink or green. After a few more weeks the baby may discover that the pink not-that-blurry-blur has those long funny wavy things located on the circle above the pik. And the blue blur has only short pointy things on the circle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At nine months a little girl may notice, that she has mostly dolls and teddys, but when she visits this other baby, a boy, he has mostly cars and firetrucks. And he's dressed in blue/brown/black, while she's in orange/pink/yellow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, when the child is 18-24 MO and capable of understanding some words and even emotions, it is obvious that stereotypes can be introduced in the obvious and typical way. But I think that some stereotypes are likely to be passed even before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I side note: I don't think all the gender stereotypes are bad. I have no problem with girls dressed in one set of colours and boys in other. It's not inherently bad. What we parents have to remember is not to thwart our children's development. If a girl wants a firetruck instead of a new doll, there's no reason to force a choice on her. If, however, she does want another doll, and we try to force a firetruck on her, we may be fighting the gender stereotypes, but we may also be causing harm to the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T06:28:15.387" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T06:28:15.387" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19828" CreationDate="2015-05-01T20:55:31.067" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How about, don't? Let her decide for herself if she wants to invest the time practicing. You can push her, but she will resent you for it. Simply tell her that all the best dancers practice and stretch, so if she wants to be the best she should emulate them, otherwise she can just do it for fun. Just let her enjoy the dancing the way she wants to, not the way you want her to..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14968" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T20:55:31.067" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18856" CreationDate="2015-05-01T22:27:12.537" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first strong advice is: Be confident on yourself as a parent. Many people will tell you many things that don't necessarily adjust to your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Take a prenatal class, trust me, this helped us a lot. Because like you, we didn't have anyone to guide us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Read some books. I think that I review at least two or three books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) The first days that you are in the hospital, ask anything that you think is important. Nurses are really helpful in moments of doubt specially when you have a premature child (Here!). Sometimes, they even give you a phone number to answer any question you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) Finally, Google is your friend. Now, trust me there is so much information on the Web, so you can read tons of baby sites that will help you. And even is funny because I remember that once I was watching a TV show called &quot;Parenthood&quot; and a couple were not sure if a pregnant can eat sushi and they google it. I also read forums but don't use it as a source for a medical problem.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14302" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T22:27:12.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-01T23:22:07.923" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience was a bit different from most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found out, at age seven, on a bus full of other kids on the way to school the day after Christmas vacation ended.  I remember a burning sense of shame, and of betrayal.  Shame for being so &quot;stupid&quot; as to have believed a lie, and betrayal toward parents who had put me in the situation where I had half a bus full of kids jeering at me for believing in Santa.  The situation was worse than it might have been because I was a newcomer to the school and didn't have any friends there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It made an indelible impression on me, and I don't know that I've ever completely gotten over it, even though as an adult I realize that my parents meant only the best for me and it certainly isn't fair to blame anything but the situation itself.  Since that time I've never been able to look on Christmas without a certain degree of detachment and cynicism.  I doubt all of that can be blamed on one bad Christmas experience but it did plant the first seeds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that my bad experience was situational and that for most, discovering that Santa isn't real is a more gradual and gentle process, but be aware that there is a potential for a bad experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I argued over the Santa thing a lot while my kids were growing up.  Same thing with the tooth fairy.  Knowing my experience was the atypical one I let him have his way, but I've never felt comfortable about it.  I guess he was probably right and allowing them to believe in magical beings and happenings adds joy to childhood, but that's something I can only process on an intellectual level, not an emotional one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried to break the news to my children more gradually, watching for signs that they had begun to doubt.  When they asked about how there could be two Santas at the two malls that we went to while Christmas shopping I told them that there can be lots of Santas, all giving out gifts and trying to make people happy.  When my son asked me point blank a couple of days later if Santa was real I told him that Santa could be as real as he wanted Santa to be and he was satisfied with that.  I think he interpreted it as &quot;we'll keep acting like Santa is real for as long as you want us to&quot; and since it meant lots of presents to him he's never complained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He and my husband watch for Santa every Christmas eve on the NORAD website.  I'm glad they can enjoy the experience for what it is.  Though my husband is still in denial about whether they actually still believe or not...I guess there are tiny pretenses we all hug to ourselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T23:22:07.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19778" CreationDate="2015-05-01T23:42:48.793" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Once the internet appeared there was no way to put that particular cat back in the bag.  Anybody who gets on the internet is going to be exposed to porn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with porn is to pull its teeth as best we can.  When my son has questions about things he sees on the computer, we just react with a shoulder shrug and make it clear that yes, scummy people put pictures like that on the internet but the best thing to do is just ignore them and click the little &quot;x&quot; box.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't get emotional or emphatic because we don't want to give porn &lt;em&gt;importance&lt;/em&gt;.  Trivialize it, and the people who put it up.  My husband is pretty frank with our kids about subjects that most people are uncomfortable with.  I appreciate the fact that my kids feel they can go to him with questions and concerns.  The trick is to judge the porn without judging your kids for asking about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can put in all sorts of parential controls but that runs the risk of deepening the thrill-of-the-forbidden factor.  There's a difference between being knowledgeable and being obsessed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-01T23:42:48.793" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19843" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-02T00:38:07.823" Score="5" ViewCount="137" Body="&lt;p&gt;Often when there's a chance to do something special as a family -- say, watch a movie together, or bake some cookies -- we let the three kids decide exactly what we are going to do. For example, they select what flavor (chocolate chip, gingerbread, sugar?) or what movie (cartoon, superhero, comedy?). I try to put guidelines in place so obvious poor choices are ruled out (one kid hates peanuts, so peanut butter cookies aren't a choice for group baking).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The preschooler is pretty happy to go along with whatever. However, his older siblings (7 and 11) tend to make a choice and then dig in their heels rather than look for an option they would both enjoy. Once the youngest gets older, he'll doubtless start to form his own opinions and make the situation even worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see a few bad options available:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Just dictate what's going to happen all the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Attempt to choose between them (and attempt to keep track of who &quot;won&quot; last time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Refuse to proceed with the activity until they agree on something (which seems to encourage the most stubbornness, rather than be the sibling who gives in first)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let everybody have their way (we end up making 3x too many cookies and watching 3x too much TV!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, though, I want to guide them to reach a consensus or negotiate their way through this. Not only does it feel more fair, but it is a life skill. &lt;strong&gt;How can I encourage them to calmly consider the choices and find a compromise?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T04:48:06.047" Title="Should I encourage siblings to compromise and collaborate?" Tags="|siblings|competitiveness|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19844" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-02T03:57:05.290" Score="2" ViewCount="392" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby boy was preterm (8.5 months) and low birth weight (1.5 kg).  Currently, at 18 months, he is able to stand alone but still not started walking. He is not able to speak more than 3-4 words like &quot;mother&quot;, &quot;father&quot;, and &quot;sis&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please suggest what we can do for baby development. &#xA;&lt;strong&gt;I am worried for his future because rumors says he need special school, He is not able to speak properly.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14975" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2015-05-02T22:45:54.037" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T22:45:54.037" Title="Baby boy, preterm birth weight 1.5 kg, needs development help at 18 months" Tags="|toddler|language-development|premature|motor-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19844" CreationDate="2015-05-02T04:14:16.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Early intervention from speech-language therapists, occupational therapists, and physical therapists, can be very, very helpful.  Are these available where you live?  A good place to find out would be by talking with a doctor or nurse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you are doing the right thing by questioning whether his development is everything it could be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading between the lines of your post, it sounds like there is a special school available where you live.  That is good news, because if your baby has any significant delays, a special school could be very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby of a friend of mine started early intervention at approximately your baby's age.  When he started, he had significant delays.  Now, if you were just meeting him for the first time (age 4), you wouldn't guess he had extra challenges in the beginning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T04:14:16.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19828" CreationDate="2015-05-02T04:38:09.147" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have faced this very challenge with my son.  Here are a few ideas (in addition to the main idea mentioned by several people, of giving her a larger pond to swim in):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let her go to a dance camp for one or two weeks in the summer. &#xA;(Choose carefully.)  There are sleep-away versions and day programs. &#xA;If the day program is out of town, contact the director and ask for&#xA;help arranging for a home stay.  Perhaps you could both stay in the&#xA;out of town place together, if she's not ready to go without you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take her to exciting dance performances and concerts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Spend some time watching good quality rehearsals together.  This&#xA;doesn't have to be exclusively ballet.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have a conversation with a dancer (in front of, or with, your&#xA;daughter).  Ask how important ballet is.  That person will, I&#xA;guarantee, tell you that ballet is enormously helpful for everything.&#xA;The light in the person's eye will be helpful for your daughter to&#xA;see.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put on classical music at home for your daughter to improvise to.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell someone (such as another family member) something very positive&#xA;about your daughter's dance abilities.  (Discreetly make sure your&#xA;daughter can hear what you're saying.  You have to be subtle about&#xA;this, though.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Watch some YouTube videos of ballets together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask the teacher when would be convenient for you to have a chat with&#xA;her.  Say you only need about five minutes of her time.  When the&#xA;time comes, ask about your daughter's areas of strength and growth,&#xA;and potential.  These questions will show the teacher that you want&#xA;to support your daughter to excel, and not just diddle daddle. &#xA;Hopefully the teacher will be motivated from this to push a bit&#xA;harder.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;General physical conditioning can be helpful, especially developing&#xA;core strength (e.g. sit-ups) and aerobic conditioning.  So, take her&#xA;swimming, go on a bike ride with her, etc.  Whatever she enjoys.  To&#xA;get her to do sit-ups, set a challenge for both of you.  Ask her to&#xA;do sit-ups with you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It can be helpful to &quot;cross-train,&quot; so to speak, in other words, to&#xA;get some experience with theater and music.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't neglect the discovery of literature.  The best ballet teacher&#xA;my son has ever had explained to me that a deep empathetic connection&#xA;with literature is what she most looks for in a dancer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try watching some opera, live or on youtube.  For example La Bohème,&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntg9vXxAia8&quot;&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntg9vXxAia8&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Model daily stretching.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get books from the library with photographs of rehearsals and&#xA;productions, and biographies of great dancers.  Get some literature&#xA;for her age level with dancers as characters.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make a special family trip out of town to see an exciting company&#xA;perform.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, that's everything I can think of.  Last comment: ballet, apparently, isn't like music, where you really have to practice alone every day.  With ballet, the main things you can accomplish alone are the stretching (to increase flexibility) and the strength and conditioning.  For the actual ballet work, normally the best work is done in class.  I don't completely understand that, but I have come to accept it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-02T12:01:57.480" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T12:01:57.480" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19843" CreationDate="2015-05-02T04:48:06.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you could let one or the other (of the three) get to be the decider, by turns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you do some table games that involve trading and negotiating?  I wonder if they can do it in that context?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it helps to walk out of the room, saying, When you've come to a negotiated agreement, come and get me.  It can be helpful to leave them on their own to do their own style of discussing and working things out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes that doesn't work.  Do you ever say, &quot;Today I can only handle one batch of cookies.  I'm going to give you guys three minutes to see if you can reach an agreement that might not be perfect for anyone, but that everyone can live with.  If you're still stuck after the three minutes, I get to choose!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T04:48:06.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-02T07:06:55.813" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't lie to your children about Santa. Just don't. You won't destroy the &quot;magic of christmas&quot;. Kids can have lots of fun with make-pretend without being lied to that its real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother and I were raised in a Christmas-lie free household. We got presents, and Easter eggs, and all the other fun parts, and we knew they came from our parents or assorted other relatives, just like people have done for hundreds of years. You know, like the &lt;em&gt;actual&lt;/em&gt; spirit of Christmas, rather than the commercialised feeding frenzy it has become today. It never hurt our sense of imagination. My brother is an actor and playwright (no, you will never of heard of him) and while I'm often accused of being stodgy I've never been accused of being too unimaginative or literal-minded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of the lie is that belief in Santa adds to the &quot;magic&quot;. It doesn't. It just feeds the sense of entitlement. Believe me, your two year old doesn't care whether the toys have come from a jolly fat stranger or you, and unless you are raising a little greed-monster, your seven year old will be &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; grateful that mum and dad bought the gifts than some distant stranger for whom it is just a job. (Especially if you teach your kids the value of money from an early age, something I missed out on.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Santa lie is easy for parents -- it deflects any disappointments onto a distant figure. Oh you didn't get what you wanted? You must have been bad, or Santa ran out of that toy, or he thought you would like this better. Kids can be ungrateful, and having that ungrateful tantrum aimed at Santa instead of you makes it a little easier to live with. But if you want to do the right thing by your kids instead of the easy thing, you don't feed them full of soft drinks and lollies and potato chips no matter that everyone else swears that it's part of the magic of childhood (it isn't) or that it is harmless (it's not). Having a rich imagination and a good fantasy life is important for children -- but knowing the difference between fantasy and reality is even more important. Far too many adults have difficulty distinguishing between that they want to be true from what actually is true. Maybe they would be better balanced if they didn't have the most formative years of their life having their vulnerable minds stuffed full of lies and a sense of entitlement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14976" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T07:06:55.813" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19849" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19850" CreationDate="2015-05-02T07:28:16.857" Score="2" ViewCount="610" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll use the term Band-Aids, despite it being a brand name for adhesive bandages. I know they're not used solely by parents, but this question came to me because of parenting. My son is reaching an age where he's started to scrape up his knees and shins, so I'm sure he'll be wearing plenty of Band-Aids in the near future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do Band-Aids do anything more than protect the skin from debris or irritation? As in, do they decrease healing time or reduce scarring?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there negative side effects to using them? Growing up, my mother would often tell me not to wear a Band-Aid on cuts and scrapes for the whole day, because my wounds &quot;needed oxygen&quot;. Is there any basis for this? These days, I assume that it's really about keeping the area &lt;em&gt;dry&lt;/em&gt;, but I don't know if there's more to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can the adhesive cause side effects, such as clogging pores or instigating skin allergies? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any purpose to the different sizes and shapes other than giving coverage of the wound and contouring the body? For instance, butterfly bandages are designed to hold deeper cuts closed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there times when it's definitely better to use a Band-Aid instead of just cleaning the area and keeping it dry and clean? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this is many questions, what I'm really asking is:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;What's everything I need to know about using Band-Aids in regard to common, minor childhood injuries?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When to use them, when not to use them, potential risks, potential benefits. Anything that clears up any common misperceptions (if there are any), would be excellent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T05:55:43.757" Title="How to use Band-Aids for childhood injuries?" Tags="|injury|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19849" CreationDate="2015-05-02T09:42:17.247" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do Band-Aids do anything more than protect the skin from debris [...]?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since debris can carry bacteria into the wound than can cause it to become infected (or even more infected if already infected), I'd say that's already a pretty big feature of adhesive bandages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are there negative side effects to using them? Growing up, my mother would often tell me not to wear a Band-Aid on cuts and scrapes for the whole day, because my wounds &quot;needed oxygen&quot;. Is there any basis for this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No. In fact, the opposite is true. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emaxhealth.com/5/2089.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.emaxhealth.com/5/2089.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;These days, I assume that it's really about keeping the area dry, but I don't know if there's more to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's more to it. Dry is bad. See the link above. Adhesive bandages help prevent a scab from forming, allowing the wound to heal faster, and lowering the chances of permanent scarring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there any purpose to the different sizes and shapes other than giving coverage of the wound and contouring the body? For instance, butterfly bandages are designed to hold deeper cuts closed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a resource for this, but I doubt different shapes help much. If the wound is deep, stitches are a much better solution to ensure correct healing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are there times when it's definitely better to use a Band-Aid instead of just cleaning the area and keeping it dry and clean?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes. Always.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What's everything I need to know about using Band-Aids in regard to common, minor childhood injuries?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apply antiseptic cleanser as quickly as possible to a fresh wound, and then an adhesive bandage on top. Reapply antiseptic cleaner when changing the bandage. Change the bandage around twice a day until the wound has healed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And get professional assistance if the wound is simply too large or too deep to treat with confidence by yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T09:42:17.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19783" CreationDate="2015-05-02T10:12:52.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My daughter shared a few details of these little girl's behavior. She told me these little girls scream at her and cover their ears when she talks to them. They are apparently &lt;strong&gt;very mean&lt;/strong&gt; and ugly toward her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's easy to get that impression when you haven't interacted with little kids before. Covering their ears is probably a test of the theory that if they don't hear an order, they're not going to be considered disobedient. They're not deliberately trying to be rude, they're just playing and testing their bounds for allowed behavior and not realizing they're being rude in the process. When you're not in a position of authority relative to a young child, you should always keep their interaction with you entirely at their option. If they want to cover their ears, just shrug and go on to something else. You're just a television programme, and they're allowed to change the channel. All you can do is show them that you're just as eager to change the channel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now babysitting is a different story. The parents should make it clear to these kids that they have to listen to your daughter when she is babysitting them. Someone's got to be in charge, and it shouldn't be the kids. They're not old enough to be responsible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She also said that the 5 year old throws tantrums and when her mother tried to console her with a hug, she proceeded to kick, bite and scratch her mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a strong advocate of the theory that you should never console a child who is throwing a tantrum. Doubtless these behaviors result from continued positive reinforcement of tantrum escalation. You and I might consider this a parenting mistake, but it probably won't do the kid much harm in the long run. People grow out of throwing tantrums eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T10:12:52.417" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-02T11:37:13.517" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no idea of the actual magnitude of the effect of lying to offspring about Santa Claus. It's almost certainly impossible to figure, and to me the magnitude of any given lie was irrelevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What concerned me originally, within a few months after my daughter's birth, was the simple realization that a good portion of things commonly told to children by parents is lies. And nearly all of those lies were very important things &lt;strong&gt;to the children&lt;/strong&gt;. I convinced myself that I would never lie to my daughter, and I convinced my wife to be the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of everyone a child will ever come across in life, parents should be the ones who are implicitly and absolutely believed. If there are regular instances in childhood that demonstrate that parents can't be trusted, it comes back to interfere when the child becomes eight years old, ten years old, reaches teen-age. When something as magically important as &quot;Santa Claus&quot; turns out to be a deliberate falsehood, the faith is undermined. When many things important to the child are learned to be lies...?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be expanded to numerous other things, but I'll only stick specifically to &quot;Santa Claus&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did was simply to explain 'the Santa Claus game' that everyone played to have fun. (And that's the truth, isn't it?) The game was that everyone always pretended that Santa Claus was real, even grownups. One part of the game was that we never admitted that we knew otherwise to anyone. Also, part of the fun was that a lot of children were young and really did believe. We would join in the game and help them believe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, my impression was that my daughter got more enjoyment out of the &quot;game&quot; than she ever would have gotten from possible belief. She always got a kick out of telling us, in secret, of course, about others that she thought were true believers. At one point, when she was somewhere around five years old, she privately told my wife &quot;Grandma still believes in Santa Claus! We won't tell her, okay?&quot; She was very happy to make that observation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In college and later, she regularly came home for visits, almost always bringing friends whom she always to meet us. The friends often told us they wanted to see if her &quot;great parents&quot; were real. We asked why she spent so much of her school vacation times with us, and she told us that she liked to be with us and to bring friends. It was just 'what she wanted to do'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO, deciding on and sticking to principles such as &quot;Never lie to your child&quot; was what allowed us to have such excellent results in a young adult. She has a great career, a great husband and (so far) two sons of her own who are turning out very much like her (and her husband). There was never a time when we worried about where she was, who her friends were, what she was doing. She simply never got into trouble of any kind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7361" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T11:37:13.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19551" CreationDate="2015-05-02T14:23:58.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the balance lies in reasoning. Children are always curious about what and why (if not when and how) of all things. Why do we brush? is it only because there is a rule or is it because something will &quot;happen&quot; if we don't brush? In a large majority of the issues (though, I may be over emphasis with this), we are really chasing the deadline - whether to put them to school or reach office where children remain stuck with the questions unanswered. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, without generalizing as to why parents fail or succeed, i would say it the reasoning and importance of the reasoning which when kid appreciate when we reach out to them as to how should they be seeing the world. Few points i would put from my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Attend their questions genuinely&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When a child doesn't appear to appreciate, e.g. 'why should I go to school?' there are several reasons why this question occur. Does he need reason for why study? or does he have conflict somewhere and want to avoid? Does he find it painful or less interesting? When we put authoritarian answer to this, they tend to add disrespect not only for what is being told to them, (i.e. going to school) but also to who is saying this. So in all address the source of inquiry as to where it comes from! The same is true when the kid doesn't appreciate someone's effort or authority. We need to see whether it arise from some kind of friction or dislike or does the child needs space?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Develop respect before authority&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Before children are taught why they should follow authority, they should develop a sense of connection with them. Most children, right from the birth, develop and realize the sense of their connection and dependency with mother, and without being told they do treat mothers as authority. The same can be made for the father and elders and teachers as they appreciate why elder people guide them for better. As they say, 'respect-needs-to-be-earned' - it is true even more for kids. When they see that their football coach can do things that they themselves can't, it develops the sense of respect for that teacher. And slowly, as they see more teachers - it develops a generalization that teachers are more qualified and hence listen to them! The same way, they need to be taught policemen are here to protect and if you misbehave they will book you! &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Set 'who's in-charge'&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What can be more direct is that we can bring the clarity of people's role in your life - what they can do/can't do to you and what they control - whether you like it or not. Define that &quot;Mom&quot; is going to decide if we are buying this toy and papa will decide if are going to do &quot;x&quot;. The school bus driver/conductor will take you only if you are on time. Doctor must be obeyed to so that you get cured. The teacher will determine you will move to the next class; and she also decides whether your homework is done properly or not. This might sound very harsh to put out &quot;this person will punish you with X - if you don't do this'. but the same thing we might want to put up more respectfully as to 'the role of the person is to do X - and they will stick to their duty regardless of whether you like it'. The role effect is very important for children to realize that they need to obey -without developing hatred of being pushed for doing something. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give them the larger picture&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We must not forget that the child has spent much less time on earth than us - and while we think that is the reason why they should follow what we say- but actually it's the other way around. Because they haven't experienced things that you have - they have no reason to believe in a whole bunch of things you are saying. The tactical angle of how-things-happen-in-the-world is i think best left for them to realize on their own; or in other words learn them the hard way! The crucial thing remains is that the better and clearer we can evolve their minds to understand the order of the world more readily they appreciate as to why all those &quot;authorities&quot; exists in the first place. This only comes with time I guess. But we can do some little things - stories, interaction and guide on occasion-basis to set their world-view right. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Persuade with reason&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When child has made up his mind on something or if he/she has serious question on why and why not something is good - the pressure lies on us to convince. Even with reasonably young kids - say about 6+, i have seen unreasonable answer just wont' work.  To overcome this, they need to be told reason, more vividly. When you get into story-telling time, pickup example stories that shows why certain behavior is good and bad. As you build cause-and-consequence relationship in a more simplistic way that he/she can relate to they will appreciate other people's view point. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if you may find this to be practical or overly theoretical - but it really lies in your everyday interaction with your kid and how you implement. Also, the process is completely progressive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, your question was how to balance 'follow-authority' vs. 'decide-self', in my view it should be done as the children try to abide by the authority on their own with full awareness (as they can have) with their own reasoning. This will not make them lame submissive but will also not make them arrogant and ignorant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-but it's the set of little things you do everyday that allows them to evolve things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this is in line of what you are looking for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1770" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T14:23:58.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19828" CreationDate="2015-05-02T16:46:05.180" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the advice before me is good advice.  Here is my 2 cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a father with two high school dancers that have danced since age 3 - one daughter just shows up.  The other daughter practices before dance class and then practices after dance class.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The daughter that just shows up - she's tired of dance and does not want to dance after high school.  She goes to see her friends at dance, gets to perform on stage, and gets to go on road trips and sleep overs with those friends.  She's in it for the friends and fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dance teachers have tried to motivate her more - to no avail.  She doesn't want to put anything more into something where she sees no additional return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other daughter loves dance.  She would walk five miles to dance practice if I did not give her a ride.  She'd probably dance the whole walk to dance practice.  :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter that loves dance is in high school now and loves high school dance.  She is forced to do everything - pick the theme of the dance, choreograph the dance, teach lessor dancers how to dance and perform, pick and edit music, etc.  Plus my daughter that loves dancing is able to be a teaching assistant at the dance studio.  All of this is teaching them leadership skills.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point they have to want it.  You cannot want it for them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try putting her into a more competitive studio.  Over the summer send her to some intensive dance camps that will challenge her more. Buy her some advanced technique DVDs.  Those should shake her up and make her realize - she is a big fish in a small pond.  If you she really loves it - she'll pick up and run with it.  Otherwise, she's just enjoying her childhood and friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of major regional dance competitions all over the country - almost every weekend.  Usually the bigger the city - the better the competition.  Look for competitions:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.starpowertalent.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.starpowertalent.com/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://starsystemstalent.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://starsystemstalent.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will see the top talent (by age group and type of dance) and the top dance studios.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problem with kids today - they think they can do everything perfectly - without practicing.  So have your daughter start doing solos and entering these major regional competitions.  If she loves it - keep on doing it.  If she misses her friends then she does not love dance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot make someone (even a daughter) love something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14983" LastActivityDate="2015-05-02T16:46:05.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19551" CreationDate="2015-05-02T17:34:31.243" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you may have a &lt;strong&gt;strong willed child&lt;/strong&gt;, which is excellent but challenging. Balancing appropriate obedience with independent thought is a tough process, and I salute you for undertaking it. I have three children ranged from 10 to 18 that I have raised this way, successfully by all accounts, so I hope I can be of some insight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does not have to be an exercise into deep psychological insight or social engineering. The goal is to raise an independent and self-sufficient adult that is capable of functioning in society without bowing to conformity. However, being a part of society requires a degree of conformity, even if it is only to obey reasonable laws. There will always be an authority with which your child will have to deal with, even if it is just the police. Or in this case an over zealous teaching authority whom it would seem is not familiar with toddler behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are really only two concepts you need to use in order to raise your child as you are seeking to. First is Choice and Consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Choice and Consequence&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One side reinforces free will within your child, the other teaches that free will does not mean free pass. At this age you cannot reason with a child, they lack the experience and knowledge necessary, so demonstration is more important than conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, little johnny is asked to stop throwing his bowl of cheerios into the floor. If he refuses, then there must be a Consequence, such as no more cheerios. He will refuse, because he will test your authority. Independent thought is not hard for a child, their universe is comprised of themselves, so pushing back against authority comes naturally. What he has to learn is that there are consequences to his actions, and you as a parent must consistently keep to those consequences. Once he is about four or five, depending on his maturity level and ability to converse, you can start explaining consequences prior to incidents. You will know him well enough to anticipate issues by this time, so you can head him off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A typical interaction at that age would be &amp;quot;Johnny, remember how I told you not to draw on the wall? Your not going to do that again are you, because you know if you do then you will have your crayons taken away&amp;quot;. Johnny will say yes, and depending upon how well he is progressing either keep it on the paper or paint a new picasso all over your living room. When that happens, again reference the previous conversation, and rather than just met out punishment, explain that he Chose to disobey, and since he decided to do so, then there must be a &lt;strong&gt;Consequence&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the crucial part that many parents skip, because they are worried about crushing potential, or making up for their own crappy childhood. That is a mistake, and you can usually tell how well it is working for them based upon the level of destruction in their household. Being firm and fair, not angry, but rather acting out of love and their best interest will not only help shape them into responsible and strong minded adults, but also reinforce their feeling of security. Kids like boundaries intrinsically, it helps define their safe zones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your child ages, continue the concept but with advanced interactions and discussions. Not only will it foster communication with your kid, which is insanely important, but it will gradually dawn on them that you are a pretty cool parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until they turn into teens, and in that case you almost start all over. They will test you beyond what you though possible, and you will start wondering if you messed up raising your kid to challenge authority and assert themselves. My oldest can make the most reasonable arguments out of the most blatant infractions, but I respect her opinion, will listen to the argument, and on more then a few occasions have given her a pass just because of the way she handled herself. You will still need to stick with your consequences, though by this time they are along the lines of &amp;quot;your making dinner tonight&amp;quot; &amp;quot;and thats how you loose your cellphone&amp;quot; and my favorite &amp;quot;better get a job, you now get to pay your car insurance&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Totally awesome though, it is great seeing your hard work flower into a confident, well rounded and capable individual with a deep sense of self worth and a independent streak a mile wide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Personal Accountability&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second concept is Personal Accountability. This one seems like a no brainer, but it is hard to do right. I find many parents don't want to imprint their concepts of right and wrong, their own prejudices, onto their kids and so they allow them to develop their own. This is right, but usually done wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of society, ethnicity, or personal beliefs, their are always a set of universal values that will be expected. There is a reason why doctors, lawyers and government workers have to take &lt;strong&gt;ethics&lt;/strong&gt; courses. Murder is bad, rape is bad, hurting others is bad, stealing is bad. Even if you keep it simple, your going to have to impart this knowledge to your child. Especially in our current society which see's police officers dealing with even trivial elementary school issues with the full force of the law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do not teach them right and wrong at the most basic level, society will. Once they are a little older, that is when they can start determining how they feel about issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son asked me when he was eight why some kids were mean to others. I told him some people just don't understand that everyone deserves to be treated nicely. I asked him how he felt about that, and he said it made him mad. So I asked him what he thought he should do about it, and he just sat there thinking. That happened several years ago, and since then he has made it a point to stick up for every kid he see's bullied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had to back him by going to the school and speaking to the principle, or dealing with other consequences, but he makes his choices based on what he sees as right and is prepared to face the consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In learning Personal Accountability, your children learn to not only have an opinion or parrot another's, but to take action based upon those beliefs and hold themselves to a standard. This is the driving force behind developing a personal identity that will not easily succumb to the influence of the herd.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14980" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-06-13T01:56:25.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19856" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-02T18:54:43.243" Score="5" ViewCount="3419" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son loves Sesame Street characters, and &quot;costume&quot; characters... When they're on TV. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he's very afraid of them in person. He gets clingy, must be picked up, and holds us in a Death grip. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've so far just tried introducing him to the characters, usually with a name. &quot;That's Cy, he's a big bird like Elmo's friend.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also try being pleasant and friendly with the mascots, but it doesn't seem to help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other fears, like new kids on playgrounds, he overcomes after 5-10 minutes of exposure. Not so with costumed people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, he's seen Santa Clauses, Easter Bunnies, a Gopher, and Cy the Cyclone's bird. He's been equally fearful of them all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure he'll grow out of it, but right now the fear interferes with his enjoyment of the events we're at. We never run into these characters intentionally, but they end up being at family-oriented activities and events. Once he spots them, he seems unable to resume his enthusiasm for the place until the mascot has been out of site for 10 to 15 minutes, which can be a large portion of these events. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son in just over two years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-03T05:13:21.797" LastActivityDate="2022-08-18T10:07:39.493" Title="How to help a child overcome their fear of mascots?" Tags="|toddler|fears|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19714" CreationDate="2015-05-03T03:24:24.420" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmm, if you said you offered your daughter both boys' toys and girls' toys and let her choose, then I'd say, Okay, you are trying to be careful not to force gender stereotypes on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when you express concern that she rejected the boys' toys and ask what to do about this, it sounds to me like you are saying that the issue is not that you want to be careful not to force old-fashioned gender stereotypes on her, but rather that you want to force feminist ideas about gender roles on her. If she wants to be traditionally feminine, why is this a problem that you have to fix? Do you think that girls are inherently inferior to boys and that if a girl wants to have a meaningful life, she must act like a boy? If not, what's the problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's also bear in mind that we're talking about a 5 year old. I would be hesitant to make any predictions about what life choices she will make at 30 based on what toys she prefers at 5. When my oldest daughter was 5, her favorite toys were Barbie and My Little Pony. Today she's a software developer. So don't despair! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T03:24:24.420" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10748" CreationDate="2015-05-03T04:21:49.173" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two ideas for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, surround yourselves with role models -- women athletes!  Posters, newspaper and magazine articles, games and competitions posted on youtube, interviews on youtube.  Go to see a variety of sports events that involve women.  I live in a university town, and we can see women competing in every sport imaginable.  I hope there is something similar within a reasonable distance from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, get her into some sports activities with other young women, where the level challenges her sufficiently.  Perhaps this will only be possible in the summer.  That's okay.  She needs to have some experiences where she has the feeling that she has found a group of people who have the same basic approach to life that she does.  That can give her the strength to get through the school year, looking forward to going back the following summer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine she's been competing with boys up till now because all-girls sports programs didn't challenge her enough.  And I see your point, that when the boys' testosterone kicks in, she will no longer excel so easily compared to them.  But as she gets older, more opportunities to compete against really good female athletes will present themselves, and she'll still be able to have satisfying experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a look at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wrestlegirl.com/gnews6176.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.wrestlegirl.com/gnews6176.htm&lt;/a&gt;  I followed the progress of one of the girls profiled here, starting when she was about 10.  A remarkable story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T04:21:49.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4797" CreationDate="2015-05-03T04:42:46.293" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps your son would be more productive in his practice if you were actively involved, as parents are in the Suzuki method.  There is a nice book about how to be a parent practice coach -- &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.carriereuning.com/soundcarriespress.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.carriereuning.com/soundcarriespress.html&lt;/a&gt;.  The author has published some of the material in the book on her website: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.carriereuning.com/practice.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.carriereuning.com/practice.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important thing when you are a practice coach is to provide positive feedback.  As often as you can, find SOMETHING you can say something positive about.  Try things like this: &quot;You are playing so many notes correctly, it's hard for me to come up with a suggestion for how to improve this piece.  Hmm... do you want to add some dynamics?&quot;  This can be done no matter how simple the piece, and it can be done even if the editor didn't put any dynamics in.  Note, it can be fun to ask the child to write in their own dynamics -- you don't have to slavishly follow what the editor suggested.  The important thing is that the piece not be boring!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to set up some groundrules for television, such as (these are just suggestions):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;do your work first (including piano, housework and homework).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;some days there may not be time for TV.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;set a maximum amount of time.  If time runs out in the middle of a program, perhaps he could pick up where he left off the next time -- this might be easier if you were using a computer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;whine or pester, or even MENTION TV, and you get a strike; three strikes and you're out -- no TV today.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;scream and you go in time-out&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;three time-outs and you're out of luck for today&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;find other fun things he looks forward to doing&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be helpful to break the direct connection between piano and TV that got established inadvertently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can play simple tunes, then it might be fun to play some easy duets together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T04:42:46.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2015-05-03T05:01:59.180" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may want to have your daughter evaluated for a tic disorder.  Tourette Syndrome is one of the tic disorders, but it's not the only one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a study: &lt;a href=&quot;http://aut.sagepub.com/content/11/1/19.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://aut.sagepub.com/content/11/1/19.short&lt;/a&gt; that found that 22% of the autistic children studied had a co-occurring tic disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has Tourette Syndrome (but is not on the autism spectrum).  When we came to understand that he has very little control over his tics (which include laughing at socially inappropriate moments), we became much more tolerant and empathetic with his difficulties in life.  Yes, there are still some things that are annoying, and some things that are maddening; but I find that I am much, much less reactive than I was before I started learning about his neurological differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that -- I hope you can find an autism support group in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could you withdraw to your bedroom BEFORE you get to the name-calling point?  (Easier said than done, I know.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit - addition:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think, though, that you can help her learn not do so much button-pushing in the first place.  The way to do this has two prongs:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Strengthen your relationship with her in general.  At this stage of her life, that probably means agreeing to an ever-increasing number of steps toward autonomy, and even taking the initiative to give her new little bits of autonomy frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Warn her ahead of time (not in the middle of a conflict) that there will be consequences for button pushing.  When she pushes a button, do the withdrawing thing, and calm down.  You don't have to declare what the consequence will be right away.  You can even wait until the next day!  You'll have to be disciplined about following through.  A consequence given in the absence of anger takes planning, discipline and firmness on the parent's part.  But it is very effective.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-05-03T14:03:32.727" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T14:03:32.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19856" CreationDate="2015-05-03T05:09:10.400" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;they end up being at family activities&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose you mean extended family?  Perhaps the person who is planning the family event for a preview of the event ahead of time, and this could help you decide whether to accept the invitation, whether to arrive late or leave early, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember my older son was terrified of clowns at age 2.  He wanted to go to the circus, but the moment a clown came into the ring... I'd get the death grip you described so well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How to help a child overcome their fear of mascots?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Erica said... just be patient.  The less you force the issue, the quicker the child will get over it.  In other words, the more protection and avoidance you provide, as a trusted ally, the less of a big deal it will be, in the grand scheme of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T05:09:10.400" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19551" CreationDate="2015-05-03T05:27:37.603" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Am I missing something here, or are &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; the responders assuming the child needs to change his behavior... and &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; change his behavior... and the parent needs to make this happen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This teacher is &lt;em&gt;one data point.&lt;/em&gt;  See if you, as parents, feel troubled by any manifestations of the tendency observed by the teacher.  See if he's having troubles along these lines with any other adults.  See how he's doing with peers.  You might want to spend half a day as a fly on the wall in the classroom -- this can be extremely illuminating!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is starting to be harmed by the teacher's negative reactions -- then you'll need to do something about the situation.  Otherwise, my suggestion would be, just let her remarks wash over you like water off a duck's back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to start again from scratch with a different answer.  I'm not sure if I should make a new post, and whether I should delete my first answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, starting from the premises, parent wants to help child conform to teacher's behavioral expectations (which might or might not be reasonable), and child's lack of compliance seems to be mostly around transitions to new activities:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Train your so to work with very short to-do lists.  You can use some symbols along with any text you use, to make it easier for him to understand the list.  In some cases, you can let him dictate the list items, and in most cases you'll be able to let him develop the list with you collaboratively.  Sometimes let him decide the order of carrying things out, sometimes you prescribe the order.  They can even be fun things, such as the steps in a fun cooking project.  Let him scribble and cross an item out as it gets completed.  As a variant of this, when you take him grocery shopping, give him a small pad, notebook or clipboard, with a pictorial list, letting him cross/scribble each item out as it goes in the cart.  Make a big deal about thanking him for his help in keeping you organized, and preventing you from forgetting anything.  He might want to help you develop the shopping list sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Once he's gotten the hang of using a list as described, ask his teacher to give him an activity list for the day at school.  Hopefully some items will be optional; hopefully the list will be unordered sometimes, to give him the freedom of choosing what he does first.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Even without the use of lists, she can still channel his positive energy without so much locking of horns by offering him choices, such as, do you want to do beads now, or do you want to do number blocks now?  Or do you want to do beads at the Fish table or at the Polar Bear table?  The easiest way to make suggestions to teachers is to share with them what works at home.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If it's a big enough school, you might be able to get a social worker or the principal to go in and get a feel for what's going on, and make some suggestions (to everyone concerned).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can explain to your son the idea, When in Rome, do as the Romans do, and give examples from real life that he's already familiar with.  I'll make up an example: when we're at Kim's house, we take off our shoes as soon as we get in the door.  Kim's rule is, no shoes in the house.  We follow her rules when we're at her house.  And when Mickey visits us, he follows our house rule, that we don't point toy guns at people or animals.  Even though they don't have that rule at their house.  Then you could ask, What are the rules at school?  (By the way, modern pedagogical ideas have the teacher posting the rules on the wall, keeping the rule set small, and making sure children understand them.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A simple behavior chart can sometimes be helpful.  You could ask that it be sent home every day or once a week.  One of the reasons this is often helpful is that it encourages a frustrated teacher to narrow things down and identify a primary goal.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some children are more easily directed in transitions by the use of a special song.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In some classrooms, there is an aide, or assistant teacher, who could go with the child to the new activity, and get him started with it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For additional suggestions with transitions, please see &lt;a href=&quot;http://blog.playdrhutch.com/2013/05/28/trouble-with-transitions/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://blog.playdrhutch.com/2013/05/28/trouble-with-transitions/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-06-14T20:04:07.750" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T20:04:07.750" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-03T05:49:41.353" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you earnestly lie to your children about Santa, you are lieing.    Don't lie to your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a make-believe game with them about Santa, you are playing with them in the way that they are perfectly accustomed to playing all the time.   Let's play trucks, lets play cowboys and indians (OK, that's not PC anymore these days), let's play ... whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think your kids can't tell the difference between a make believe game and &quot;the real world&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; play &quot;Easter bunny&quot;, and my kids are teenagers now.  It's fun.   We only stopped the Santa game a year or so ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Footnote:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way I've seen Santa done &quot;wrong&quot; (IMHO, YMMV etc) is introducing the idea that Santa brought &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; the presents that are under the tree, including the child's &quot;main&quot; present (which actually comes from the parents).    This is a very hard idea to do as a make-believe game.    The make-believe game works for &quot;santa comes and fills the stockings&quot;.   We make sure it is fun and not to serious by having Santa bring silly things too, like a potato for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;HTH&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9698" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T05:49:41.353" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19856" CreationDate="2015-05-03T05:53:00.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately and fortunately exposure is usually the answer to most if not all &quot;irrational&quot; fears and or anxieties for the vast majority of ages. However, the hard part of exposure therapy is finding a way gradually desensitized your child to their respective anxiety provoking event and or thought. For example, a common starting point for children who are scared of spiders is imagine those spiders or to pretend that a spider is nearby and then they move into the next stage like having a spider on the other side of the room, but out of view and so forth. By now, you'll notice that I am speaking very generally because the reality is every case tends to be fairly different and also I am not a big fan of giving direct advice (especially when it involves other people's kids). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However if you want to become a little more informed about at least the practice of exposure therapy, an excellent resource if your library carries it is: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.ca/Exposure-Therapy-Anxiety-Principles-Practice/dp/146250969X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Exposure Therapy for Anxiety: Principles and Practice&lt;/a&gt;. Admittedly, you might have brush up on some theories, but I recall it being somewhat general enough for the consumer who has a general knowledge of psychology or perhaps this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.ca/Helping-Anxious-Child-Step-Step/dp/1572245751&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;book&lt;/a&gt; might be more useful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, my point is don't overprotect your child, but also don't go directly to the beast (fear) so to speak. Rather, get there gradually so when your child does get close to this beast it doesn't seem so scary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14962" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T05:53:00.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19849" CreationDate="2015-05-03T05:55:43.757" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What's everything I need to know about using Band-Aids in regard to common, minor childhood injuries?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two boys, ages 12 and 19 1/2.  Everything that I will write is based on my experience with them and with my own mishaps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a scraped knee, I recommend the expensive &quot;second skin&quot; type of bandage.  It will puff up and start to look white.  You can bath with this on.  No scab ever forms.  If it starts to peel away at the edge, trim with scissors.  If so much of the bandage separates from the skin that part of the wound is exposed, then you'll need to take it off and put a new one on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They come in a variety of sizes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With this type of bandage, a scab never forms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the appearance starts to bother you after a few days, you can put some gauze on top to block your view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want to do that, then when you're past the bandaid or bandage point, after a few days, put something greasy on the scab once or twice a day.  It could be vaseline, Aquafor or antibiotic ointment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a cut that doesn't need stitches, use steri-strips.  Put a bandage of some type on top if there's any danger of the wound getting dirty, or if the child feels less anxious with a bandage on top.  For a big area, you'll want to use gauze and adhesive tape.  I'm partial to paper tape.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My favorite bandaid is NexCare.  Very flexible and comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children often enjoy theme bandaids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll want to have a variety of sizes on hand.  You don't need a lot of the medium and large ones, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I have a mishap that results in some puncture of the skin, as soon as I get a bandaid on it, the pain is lessened or goes away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep an ice pack in the freezer -- this can reduce pain quickly.  Keep a teething ring in the freezer too, for injuries to the mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look carefully in the pharmacy, you will hopefully find a &quot;no-sting&quot; antiseptic squirt-type spray.  If the child complains of stinging nevertheless, then, if there is no visible dirt or gravel needing to be removed, you should be okay dabbing a spot of antibiotic ointment on the pad part of the bandaid before you put it on (skipping the washing step).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child needs to bathe and there is a recent scrape or cut, use a waterproof bandaid.  However, these really don't let the wound breathe, so don't use these around the clock.  This is the type of bandage that is mostly transparent, with a paper strip around the edge that you peel off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will also want to have a magnifying glass, a needle, some rubbing alcohol to sterilize the needle, and some diagonal tweezers.  For splinters.  Pick a spool of thread in a color you never use, and store the needle poking into the top of the spool, in the medicine cabinet, so you don't have to go running all around the house collecting your materials.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get a prescription for some Emla cream from the pediatrician to keep on hand.  You'll need to apply this before you go poking around with the needle.  It numbs the skin.  You can also use this before a blood test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep a couple of garden-variety bandaids in the car and in the bike bag.  Also put some meat tenderizer in the car, for bee stings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Final tip.  If a child is upset about an injury and asks for a bandaid, nothing is gained by withholding it, even if you don't see any blood or anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T05:55:43.757" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-03T07:38:21.250" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before I was born my parents decided to never lie to us children about anything. The only trust in my family I have ever lost is when my grandfather was dying his memory went and I quit trusting him to take messages. I know I can trust my family completely. I value this much more than anything santa may have brought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13591" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T07:38:21.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19856" CreationDate="2015-05-03T08:00:49.183" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;An event is quite a highly arousing place (noise, strangers, etc..) so senses on high alert anyway, so I would suggest practicing any strategy before the situation happens in a calm, safe environment, i.e. at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe a costume could be hired for the weekend and maybe family members could all dress up in the costume in front of your child - letting him in to the secret. As in desensitisation, you could have it lying on floor, take a peek in the room, then play a game sitting on it, then put the legs on, then sit with just the body on and your head out of costume, you could all sit on the costume, eat a snack on it, etc… if possible film the situation to encourage the possible established link with TV characters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My little girl had similar, but not to the same degree but now goes up alone so as you say may just be something your son will learn to handle independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14993" LastEditorUserId="25055" LastEditDate="2022-08-18T10:07:39.493" LastActivityDate="2022-08-18T10:07:39.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-03T12:58:59.747" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My own childhood experience may illustrate a way that the figure of Father Christmas (as we would call him in the UK) can be introduced to children without the necessity of telling untruths (for any value of untruth).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my family we have a tradition of leaving stockings (very large ones) at the end of the bed on Christmas Eve and then having them filled in the night. From the earliest, my parents taught me that people &lt;strong&gt;play&lt;/strong&gt; a game where they pretend that Father Christmas comes in the night and fills the stockings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child I was quite happy with the idea that we were playing a game. I am sure (though of course I don't know for certain) that I had as much fun out of it as if I had been told, for real, that there was a Father Christmas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are perfectly capable of joining in imagination games and of understanding the difference between them and reality. So I think this should work fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea how many children really know that Father Christmas does not exist and it's all just a game or how many only discover this later on. But I have heard anecdotal accounts (and one example is in the answers to this question) that some children do believe it is really true and are then upset or unsettled on discovering otherwise. Given that there is a risk this may happen, I wonder if it is not simply better to explain that it is a game as my parents did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9896" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T12:58:59.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19871" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-03T16:57:56.147" Score="1" ViewCount="437" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife's a stay at home mom since our kid was born. She also looks after the needs of 3 old people who we live with (there are 2 paid help), quite busy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I ask my 3-year-old kid to do something small like not play on his slider as I'm exercising the puppy, he won't listen. I tell him, you can continue in 10 minutes, let me walk the dog now. She's a 9-week-old puppy and can get hurt. He does agree that she's a baby, but I guess he thinks the slider is not a danger. So then I stop talking to him (after letting him know why), i. e. I ignore his requests to play, put on video etc. I work from home 10 days a month so we do a lot of things together - park, pool, lego-duplo even watching peppa pig, finley ... cartoons. Yesterday, I also kept the slider in another room so he could not use it anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a good way to tell a child you don't like his behavior? My wife has more patience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14997" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-11T17:02:19.057" LastActivityDate="2018-09-11T17:02:19.057" Title="Is ignoring a 3-year-old a good or bad disciplinary measure?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19871" CreationDate="2015-05-03T17:53:13.707" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are definitely times when ignoring a child's behavior is the better part of wisdom. This, however, isn't one of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children - especially 3 year olds - are not mind readers. They are, however (like you) human, and want what they want. (You want him to stop. He wants to continue. That is the sum total of what he knows about the situation as it stands to an outsider.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Communication is so important in life; it can be used to establish trust and respect. You can use such opportunities to model these things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain why you don't want him to use the slider so he knows it's not just a command he can ignore. In explaining &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;, you can evaluate the merits of the request yourself. Ask him why he wants to use the slider. Then perhaps the two of you can &lt;em&gt;negotiate&lt;/em&gt; (e.g. how about we come out after, and you can use the slider then? or whatever.) Negotiation is a great skill to learn, and a powerful tool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are indirectly asking, &lt;em&gt;is ignoring a child an appropriate consequence for disobedience?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, the answer is no, because it sends (again, to me) the message that &lt;em&gt;if you don't obey me, I will treat you like you do not matter to me.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really good that you do many enjoyable things with your child, and you deserve credit for that. Establishing consequences for disobedience takes a lot of work, but it's no less a part of parenting than the great things you do together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read about consequences and how to set appropriate ones. There are a lot of similar questions on this site. And congratulations on caring enough to ask! That makes you a better parent right there. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-03T17:53:13.707" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19873" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19879" CreationDate="2015-05-03T20:51:35.037" Score="-1" ViewCount="362" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to present an audience, consisting of mostly teens and pre-teens, the problems of a surveillance state, e.g. if everything is recorded what you are doing. That leads to an internal scissor in your head, i.e. you forget words and therefore actions if you are not allowed to use them, and it changes your thinking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem is that I have already an approach, but it is still quite complex (I was thinking about something like playing &quot;Taboo&quot; where they should describe actions without saying a list of words, which gets bigger and bigger). But I've been told that this approach is a) too long and b) way too complex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I was wondering if there exists another approach which is easier to explain and to understand (target audience is between 11-16, between &quot;We have used this strange thing called PC once&quot; and &quot;well, I am using the PC for mailing &amp;amp; facebook&quot;). Preferably the approach should be included in a game, after the learning and understanding is much better in a game than just telling them the problems&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14671" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-05-04T13:31:26.643" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T07:29:30.980" Title="Explain Pre-Teens and Teens the problems of a surveillance state and internet privacy" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="10" ClosedDate="2015-05-11T08:45:54.463" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12711" CreationDate="2015-05-04T00:23:25.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son does this when he is busy doing something else and does not want to stop what ever he is enjoying to go to the bathroom. Like, watching a movie, playing a game, or outside playing.  He does not do it at school or at one of his grandma's house. She makes him clean his pants in the toliet and clean himself up! So, I know he can control it! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have threatened to make him wear girl underwear and also diapers.... however it was explained to me that could do more harm mentally than it would good. What I have been trying recently is to take away activities and games after I realize that he soiled his pants.... no improvement as of yet. I believe I will try what his grandma does so he makes the connection that if he chooses to soil his pants, then he will be responsible for cleaning his mess!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe consistency is also key. He spends time at different homes, his fathers and grandparents as well, so if we All agree to do the same thing.... I hope it will resolve the issue! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15001" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-05-04T13:27:51.450" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T13:27:51.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6830" CreationDate="2015-05-04T01:36:39.027" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Start when they are young(4 or 5) by giving them a little for house chores.&#xA;Around 9-10 Get them to do a paper route.&#xA;When they hit 12 or 13 let them do a babysitting course and learn first aid and then offer for them to babysit the neighbours, family or friends kids . &#xA;When they turn 15 get them to get a part time job after school or weekend job.&#xA;Once they hit 16 every summer should be full time work for at least a month or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15002" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T01:36:39.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19871" CreationDate="2015-05-04T03:37:45.617" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've seen ignoring be an extremely effective disciplinary tool for this age range.  As long as you're not giving him the cold shoulder for a long time, and as long as your child understands what displeased you (which you said you did make clear).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This tool goes very well with another one, that we could call &quot;catch him being good.&quot;  When your son displays desirable behavior that pleases you, give him warm, positive feedback.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T03:37:45.617" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19873" CreationDate="2015-05-04T03:46:14.257" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love teaching through playing games, but in this case, I can't think of anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, young people of this age are quite interested in current events.  So, I would pick a couple of examples taken from news stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could think about how much you want to lecture and how much you want to listen.  It partly depends on the number of young people in your audience; it also depends on how much time you have available and how much material you feel you need to cover.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T03:46:14.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19873" CreationDate="2015-05-04T06:44:20.750" Score="-2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I want to present an audience, consisting of mostly teens and pre-teens, the problems of a surveillance state, [...]. That leads to an internal scissor in your head, i.e. you forget words and therefore actions if you are not allowed to use them, and it changes your thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I Google &quot;internal scissor&quot;, I don't get any relevant articles. Are you sure this a real scientific theory with a sound basis in fact? If not, maybe you should re-evaluate the content of the lecture. The first step in explaining something to others is to make sure you understand it well yourself. You also have to research it fully to make sure you are using standard terminology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just based on ordinary experience, I kind of doubt the &quot;internal scissor&quot; theory as outlined above. In a constant surveillance scenario, I would hardly &quot;forget&quot; words I'm not allowed to use. If anything, I'd be more aware of words I'm not allowed to use than otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastEditorUserId="14451" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T04:17:46.920" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T04:17:46.920" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7624" CreationDate="2015-05-04T07:12:27.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To further muddle the waters already murky from studies showing opposite effects allegedly all caused by daycare:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up in East Germany, where, essentially, all children went to daycare from a rather early age. When I was a child, most (as in &quot;70-90%&quot;) were in daycare by the age of one. Yet, crime rates etc. were lower than they are now, when daycare is much sparser.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I would not blame rising crime rates on declining daycare rates. There's so many other factors which have changed dramatically enough to blame any dramatic changes on. However, at the very least this shows that there's way more important factors than daycare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T07:12:27.510" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2015-05-04T13:18:02.830" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 1-yo loves his swim trainer, it gives him some freedom to swim wherever he wants to go. I would only use it in the pool though, not in the ocean and of course still requires strict supervision because it can tip over. You'll also have to take it off when he just wants to play, it's only for active swimming or floating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15012" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T13:18:02.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19884" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19887" CreationDate="2015-05-04T15:13:59.057" Score="1" ViewCount="324" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, thankfully, went about 18-20 months without getting an ear infection. His first one cleared up naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second one didn't seem so bad, but he was given antibiotics for it. I wasn't keen on the use, because I'd heard that treating a child's ear infection with antibiotics can increase their chances of getting recurrent ear infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then, he had another ear infection necessitating antibiotics. It was much more severe than the previous times, and I do agree medicine was needed. He's now currently suffering from &lt;em&gt;another&lt;/em&gt; ear infection (and a URI, and the combo meant a late-night ER visit last night).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, my son has been getting more colds/illness in general lately, which I largely attribute to his increased exposure to other children -- more playdates, and more active play at parks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I'm just wondering about the continued use of antibiotics to clear up ear infections. They seem to clear up the symptoms well enough, at least short-term, but he hasn't been not sick long enough for me to make any other determinations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does using antibiotics for ear infections really increase the chances of getting recurrent ear infections?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could the earlier doses we gave to my child have caused antibiotic-resistant bacteria that keeps growing back? Or is this just a common way ear infections occur in children--low to no incidence followed by high incidence?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some sites that mention the risks, although they're not where I first heard it:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.choosingwisely.org/patient-resources/oral-antibiotics-for-ear-infections/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Choosing Wisely: Oral Antibiotics of for Ear Infections&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/ear-infection/antibiotics-for-middle-ear-infection&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;WebMD: Antibiotics for Middle Ear Infections&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From WebMD:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Doctors sometimes prescribe antibiotics to prevent infections in children who are prone to repeated ear infections (recurrent otitis media). But experts disagree on how helpful this is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Use of antibiotics to treat ear infections increases the risk for antibiotic-resistant bacteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen and heard the claim that resistant-bacteria don't get fully eradicated, so the &quot;same&quot; infection comes back. I'll try to find sources when I can, but I think I've mostly heard this in passing (and not as the main point of an article or discussion).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Please note:&lt;/strong&gt; I'm &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; asking for medical advice. I am &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; asking you whether or not I should prescribe my child antibiotics. I think some of the relevant meta questions back me up on this not being a medical advice question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/740/when-are-drug-questions-medical-questions&quot;&gt;When are drug questions medical questions?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/670/are-questions-about-generic-medical-fundamental-medical-information-on-topic&quot;&gt;Are questions about generic medical fundamental medical information on-topic?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/473/medical-questions-line-between-on-off-topic-and-how-to-handle&quot;&gt;Medical questions: what is the line between on / off topic, and how should they be handled?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-16T15:47:25.657" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T02:42:04.463" Title="Does using antibiotics increase the risk of a child getting recurrent ear infections?" Tags="|toddler|medicine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19884" CreationDate="2015-05-04T17:04:36.623" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never seen anything reputable suggesting that it is substantially more likely to &lt;em&gt;get&lt;/em&gt; a new ear infection after a properly used antibiotic regimen (ie, the child took it for the full length of treatment indicated by the doctor).  There's a potential mechanism for that to be possible, which I'll mention later, but it seems unlikely to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several reasons antibiotics are no longer recommended for &quot;mild&quot; to &quot;moderate&quot; ear infections, particularly single ear infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Antibiotic overuse can lead to the development of antibiotic-resistant bugs, particularly for bacterial infections that are otherwise fairly easy for your body to fight off given time.  See the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/getsmart/community/about/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDC page&lt;/a&gt; for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Antibiotics have side effects that are non-trivial.  In particular, reducing the gut flora can lead to gastric distress and usually causes diarrhea, and in children in diapers this often leads to sometimes bad diaper rash.  Antibiotics also have an impact on the skin biome.  I've seen this blamed for increases in subsequent ear infections before, although I've never seen anything reputable - but I am not a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Antibiotic use for moderate concerns like this can lead to further antibiotic dependence by parents wanting the best for their children and/or wanting to return them to school sooner.  Discouraging their use for mild to moderate concerns &lt;em&gt;and discussing why&lt;/em&gt; can help break this pattern.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one reasonable path I have heard (but never read in a paper) that could suggest this is your immune response.  Having a longer ear infection can lead to better development of &quot;memory&quot; T-cells, which could potentially fight an infection more effectively in the future.  From what I understand of ear infections, they don't tend to be identical bacteria necessarily, and bacteria in general are fought with primarily other parts of the immune system (particularly, the innate immune system, which is not antigen specific).  (This is why you can repeatedly get strep throat, for example.) That makes the memory response less important (though I haven't found any papers discussing this in specific).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the &lt;em&gt;short&lt;/em&gt; run, I would expect antibiotics to help avoid reinfection.  This is one of the main reasons you continue their use for the full length of treatment recommended by your doctor, often up to 10 days, even when the symptoms are gone within 24 hours; immediately after infection your body is weaker and more susceptible to developing a new infection (of a different type of bacteria, for example).  It also helps to avoid reinfection from the same bacteria in some cases; streptococcus-based infections in particular often take the full ten days to prevent a recurrence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to be clear, this should not be construed as medical advice or &quot;You should do this&quot;; it only intends to describe some of the information your doctor uses to make their decisions and recommendations, and possibly inform your discussion with your doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-05-04T17:52:02.940" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T17:52:02.940" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19884" CreationDate="2015-05-04T17:18:07.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, antibiotic use does not increase ones susceptibility to ear infections. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Correlation does not equal causation. It is a difficult concept to accept, because we seem to see it and experience it every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a bit like infections with a fungus (say tinea pedis): some people are predisposed to it, others are not. The fact that they take medications for it is entirely beside the point; this is a correlate to being ill. But use of the medication (even in resistant cases) does not mean it causes the resistant illness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some babies will have only one ear infection in their lives, some none. Other children, because of their particular anatomy or other local factors, will be predisposed to recurrent infections. The medication can be seen as a correlation (to the illness), but not a causation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, medications do cause illness. Antibiotic-associated diarrhea (a.k.a. &lt;em&gt;C. diff&lt;/em&gt;) can't, by definition, occur without antibiotic use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One effect of taking antibiotics for ear infections is that it may exert selective pressure for the proliferation of an antibiotic-resistant bacteria to colonize the oropharynx. Then a subsequent ear infection may be less responsive to the first antibiotic. Again, this must take into account that the child is prone to ear infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there risks to treating ear infections? Certainly. There are also risks to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; treating ear infections. A good doctor will discuss the risk to benefit ratio with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, it's not that antibiotic use or resistance increases the incidence of ear infections, but that some infants and children are predisposed to developing them. When a child has established a predisposition towards developing them, doctors did use antibiotics prophylactically (which does contribute to antibiotic resistance.) It is however possible that such children's subsequent ear infections become more difficult to treat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-06T02:42:04.463" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T02:42:04.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-04T18:41:08.960" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lying to children about Santa Claus, or anything else, teaches them an important truth: that their parents, grandparents, or other caregivers can't be trusted, and that trust is a thing to be given only to those who have proved worthy of it.  However, I preferred to let others teach this lesson.  The world is full of liars, so parents don't really have to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15017" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T18:41:08.960" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19891" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-04T21:07:54.763" Score="3" ViewCount="981" Body="&lt;p&gt;22 yr old refuses any topic related to what it takes for him to be on his own.&#xA;He will ignore, be sarcastic, and do nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has a job but not enough money to be on his own. He has a car, a phone, health insurance and pays for phone &amp;amp; car insurance. He pays no rent to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has ulcerative colitis and is on meds but still has problems presented by the disease. He refuses to discuss options with us or other relatives. He refuses to acknowledge he might need assistance. He refuses to fill out assistance forms from county.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he has a problem, won't seek guidance and refuses counselling.&#xA;This type of resistance has been in place for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to add&lt;/strong&gt;: Thank you for responses. Yes, fear could be a factor. I do go to a recovery group for relational struggles which helps. Today another relative stepped up to spend time with son and whatever they discussed seems to have been useful. One day at a time. I feel guilt for having not taken steps sooner to cause a wake up call. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15019" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T23:39:41.600" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T06:55:41.553" Title="adult child refuses to discuss his future. parents are moving, and he has no plan" Tags="|adult-child|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-04T23:18:52.210" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What would the negative effects be if you never tell them Santa exists? Of course there is the risk that your kid will tell other kids that do believe in Santa about it, but I think this could be easily handled. Could it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't grow up with the myth of Santa in my house, although I did grow up in America.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found out about Santa in 1st grade.  It was quite confusing for me, because other kids would talk about it and I had no idea what they were talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my experience as a former child, that was the most negative effect I experienced: confusion throughout 1st grade when the subject of Santa came up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14721" LastActivityDate="2015-05-04T23:18:52.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19893" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19899" CreationDate="2015-05-04T23:23:22.943" Score="3" ViewCount="382" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've often heard to avoid giving honey to babies, due the rare risk of botulism. That's backed up in the answer to this question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/16490/when-can-we-start-giving-chocolate-honey-and-eggs-to-babies/16491#16491&quot;&gt;When can we start giving chocolate, honey and eggs to babies?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, that question only deals with the safety of chocolate, eggs, and honey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering if there are other foods that current pediatric and parenting associations recommended to avoid giving to young children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also wondering if there are foods that we're sometimes told to avoid (such as peanuts), that don't need to be avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please include the age or stage when the food is safe to consume, and the reasons it's recommended to avoid it (or the reasons why it's safe to consume it). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T20:01:47.133" Title="Are there other foods to avoid giving infants/toddlers besides honey?" Tags="|toddler|infant|food|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19894" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19897" CreationDate="2015-05-04T23:41:06.810" Score="0" ViewCount="176" Body="&lt;p&gt;Currently, we use a brand name carpet cleaner/stain remover after cleaning up the general mess with a wet cloth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering if there's a natural, low-cost alternative to cleaning up such messes that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Treats stains, if there's a risk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Treats the smell&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kills any bacteria/viruses (if that's what caused it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is safe for children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son already knows how to twist the nozzle on spray bottles to open them and spray them, so it'd be ideal if whatever we kept in a spray bottle wasn't a poison/exposure risk for children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I'm mostly interested in carpet, because it can't be thrown into the washer/dryer, I would be grateful for solutions to cleaning non-removable parts of the car/car seat. Seat belts, in particular, have been resistant to most of our cleaners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Multi-step methods are fine, but I'd prefer something that doesn't require more than 5-10 minutes of time to complete. Usually when these incidents occur we're already occupied, and don't have much time to spare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, long-term soaking techniques are acceptable if they're provided &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; a quicker solution that does a good enough job until the soaking can be accomplished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: At this time we own a carpet cleaner, so alternative machine-safe carpet cleaner solutions would be valid. However, we don't have and can't currently afford a steam cleaner (because we bought the carpet cleaner), so steam cleaning isn't a viable solution for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T02:34:49.077" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T03:46:24.270" Title="What is effective, non-toxic method to clean vomit from a carpet?" Tags="|cleaning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19894" CreationDate="2015-05-05T03:46:24.270" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most common solution I've seen is baking soda.  It is a fairly effective odor neutralizer.  After the &quot;chunks&quot; have been removed, liberally cover with baking soda, let it sit for a bit, then wash out with water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Afterwards (and after thoroughly rinsing), if stains persist a solution of vinegar and dishwashing soap plus water seems to be recommended; I've never done this myself.  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/cleaning/tips/a12467/stains-vomit-may07/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; and many like it on the internet for an explanation of this process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another common tool is &quot;pet&quot; carpet powders, which are basically enzyme based cleaners.  Many are non-toxic.  They help break down the proteins in the mess, which helps with the stain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T03:46:24.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19891" CreationDate="2015-05-05T04:09:33.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will hazard a guess and say that perhaps you are asking for suggestions about how to handle this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When one family member refuses to go to family therapy, the standard advice I've heard is, go by yourself.  I think that advice would apply here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two little ideas, though -- perhaps you could give him something in writing that lays out the basic options, along with a deadline for a decision.  You could included something like this: If you haven't made a choice by May 12, Dad and I will decide for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And perhaps you could get him started on his way out of the nest by filling out the forms for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T04:09:33.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19893" CreationDate="2015-05-05T07:05:24.167" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;to avoid&quot; foods fall roughly into two categories:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Dangerous due to size or consistency.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;With other words, anything that can't be chewed/munched,/mushed/nibbeled into small enough pieces to prevent choking.  With some babies it's amazing what they manage to &quot;chew&quot; just with their gums, others will resist even the smallest chunks in their puree. It's hard to give a time frame, regardless what various books say, you need to watch your individual child.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Peanuts anyone? These clearly are among the most difficult things to chew: hard, slippery and easy to choke on because they are already quite small. So a no-no for small children. I have noticed that some babies insist on eating chunks of solid foods (as in solid like bread, pasta, banana or soft fruit) right from the start instead of puree from a spoon - and, in my experience, the more elder siblings the baby has, the higher the probability - but I digress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Dangerous due to potential pathogens&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The more obvious candidates are raw eggs  or undercooked chicken meat (Salmonella!), honey (Botulism!), undercooked meat, raw milk and cheeses (Listeria!) and anything that didn't adhere to the strictest food safety guidelines you find, for example, over at Seasoned Advice. A baby's / child's imune system and gut flora are not fully deveoped, this takes years. So as far as food safety is concerned, children fall into the same category as other imune compromised groups. Also remember that improper storage of food can be really, really dangerous. So while I might choose to eat that pasta salad that might have been out of the fridge a tad long, I would never give it to my children. You ask for a timeline: The one year mark is often given for honey and soft-boiled eggs. For that pasta salad I (personally) would at least wait until school age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now to the allergy and intolerance part (where peanuts come into the picture again):  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recommendations on what to feed or not to feed vary a lot, both over time and in different countries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simple example: In Germany (where I live), jars of baby food won't contain peas (&quot;produce too much gas&quot;) or fish (&quot;avoid fish in the first 12 months&quot;), just across the Rhine in France (an hour or so from my home), peas and fish are considered an excellent source of protein and therefore in many jars. Somehow I doubt that homo sapiens has evolved differently on two sides of a river, so take these recommendations with a grain of salt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While nine years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child, everyone was told to introduce grains with gluten as late as possible and by no means before the six month mark, current recommendation is to give small quantities as soon as by four months, &lt;em&gt;especially if the child is at risk due to a gluten intolerance of a parent&lt;/em&gt;. Aehm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have seen similar statements like the one you linked in your comment concerning children whose parents have food allergies (not to be confused with intolerances), &lt;strong&gt;but in these cases, don't listen to strangers from the internet, talk to your doctor, please.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T08:37:01.877" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T08:37:01.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4739" CreationDate="2015-05-05T07:06:02.483" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the parents find it difficult to how to keep their kids engage in activities. There are few wimple activities were kids can have fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make some velco craft sticks.&#xA;Make an activity binder to take with you&#xA;Make them to paint&#xA;Make some craft stick puzzles!&#xA;You can make them to coloring pages with crayons. As this is one of the best activity were kids will have lots of fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kid love doing the paintings and coloring pages pages as the are related to colors. So do collect the pages and take the print out of the page before travelling. Recently we went to travel to my moms place I have downloaded horse coloring pages from this site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/horse-coloring-pages_00102190/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/horse-coloring-pages_00102190/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So every kid love to color the sheets. It better engage in doing any coloring activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T07:06:02.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19893" CreationDate="2015-05-05T07:09:34.393" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to avoid the soft foods like marshmallows and jelly or gummy candies that might get stuck in your child's throat. Be careful not to give your toddler large dollops of peanut butter or other nut butters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have should not give the foods which are sticky and hard kid of foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T07:09:34.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19873" CreationDate="2015-05-05T07:29:30.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are trying to go in at the deep end with the internal scissors. Start out simpler: Ask them to think about something they would only tell their very best friend about. Then have them imagine everyone knowing all of a sudden. Because that is, an a way, what is happening: you are mailing or IM'ing your best friend, and some person you don't even know can read it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;That is admittedly not the main point yet, but it is the point at which your audience can be pulled into the topic.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Once they have realised that bit, random strangers reading their private messages to their friends, you can help them move on.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Admittedly, I have no idea how to pack this into a game, but it may be a better starting-point to make them see that there is indeed an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T07:29:30.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19903" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-05T11:07:26.283" Score="5" ViewCount="16809" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a partner who is suffering from severe depression. When we have the slightest disagreement she breaks down into tears and goes upstairs with our 1-year-old son. She will cry for hours while he watches and if I approach her it gets worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What sort of effect will this have on our little, precious baby boy? Does this mean he will grow to dislike me? I love my partner but my sons well-being is far more important. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15025" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T18:16:07.393" LastActivityDate="2020-01-19T22:09:45.047" Title="Is excessive crying in front of your child bad for them?" Tags="|toddler|infant|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19891" CreationDate="2015-05-05T11:33:00.620" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to be the case that he's refusing to acknowledge anything about his future. This kind of thing can be due to a combination of fear and trauma, since after all, laziness is generally rooted in fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he'll accept no help at all, it's probably time to give him a wake-up call. Write down all the things he needs to do as well as all the offers of help he's been given and then treat him as a lodger -- no assistance with anything at all and he needs to pay rent, starting with a small sum incrementally increasing to market rates coincident with your moving day. A month or so of that and he should wake up enough to realise that he has to overcome his fear of stepping out. The point is that he's still close to you so can come to you for advice, yet it's no longer comfortable to keep the status quo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T11:33:00.620" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19903" CreationDate="2015-05-05T12:58:32.570" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants learn how to socialize and express their emotions by interacting with adults, primarily with their parents. Developing a positive, &amp;quot;happy&amp;quot; bond with the mother is good for babies, and depression interferes with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maternal postpartum depression during the child’s first year of life&#xA;significantly predicted internalizing behavior problems. This&#xA;association was not found if maternal depression occurred before&#xA;pregnancy or during the prenatal period. &lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Positive communication styles and maternal warmth observed in&#xA;mother-child interactions have been associated with prosocial behavior&#xA;and positive self-concept development in children (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9084128/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Kochanska,&#xA;1997&lt;/a&gt;). &lt;sup&gt;[2]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children of depressed mothers don't get the same amount of positive interaction and smiling faces, and that impacts their ability to interact with other people, feeling attached to parents, and other social development. This isn't (necessarily) just short-term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Results indicated that ... degree of maternal depression ... had&#xA;independent predictive associations with youths' externalizing&#xA;symptoms and functional impairment. &lt;sup&gt;[3]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I can't access the full text of this article, so have quoted the abstract.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's more complicated than simply &amp;quot;whether the mother is depressed&amp;quot; — paternal depression, attention, and behavior play a role in either exacerbating or ameliorating the effects. If a father is smiling, playing, and taking care of the infant, then there's still some positive interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These findings point to the presence of psychopathology in fathers as&#xA;a risk factor for toddlers’ externalizing behavior problems when&#xA;mothers have been previously depressed, and for toddlers internalizing&#xA;problems when mothers have either a history of or current depressive&#xA;symptoms... Paternal psychopathology may increase the likelihood of&#xA;behavior problems in at-risk toddlers directly, as depressed and/or&#xA;anxious fathers may provide inconsistent and permissive parenting, or&#xA;indirectly, if they are less involved with caring for their children&#xA;and leave depressed mothers sole responsibility for the daily&#xA;behavioral management of toddlers. &lt;sup&gt;[2]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the key things that all the articles mention is that their research reinforces the importance of intervention, to treat maternal depression and thereby alleviate the problem for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking personally: as somebody who went through post-partum depression twice, I suggest you be careful in how you introduce the influence of maternal depression, if you even bring it up at all. Depression isn't something that you can just snap out of, and being told &lt;em&gt;your sadness is hurting our baby!&lt;/em&gt; would have just sent me further into depressive spirals, helping neither me nor my child (nor, ultimately, my partner). It may be more productive to focus on encouraging her to seek help for her own sake, while you personally focus on being a positive parent and partner. That's something you can do whether or not she gets treatment for her depression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether he will grow to dislike &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; -- I assume you are wondering whether he blame you for his mother being sad. My thoughts on this are less evidence-based. His feelings towards you will be pretty dependent on how you're interacting with your partner and your son during her crying episodes. (And, as the research above seems to indicate, &lt;em&gt;his emotional well-being&lt;/em&gt; will be influenced, not just whether he &lt;em&gt;likes&lt;/em&gt; you.) Seeking compromise, avoiding language or situations you know will be triggers, keeping a hold on your frustration and temper — not necessarily giving in on everything to avoid conflict, but working around the restrictions and obstacles that her disease is establishing. Couples counseling may be useful both to help you interact positively with each other, and also to give her a place to begin getting help and treatment for her depression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bagner, D. M., Pettit, J. W., Lewinsohn, P. M., &amp;amp; Seeley, J. R. (2010). &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2901251/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Effect of Maternal Depression on Child Behavior: A Sensitive Period?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;em&gt;Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry&lt;/em&gt;, 49(7), 699–707. &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2010.03.012&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;DOI&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Dietz, L. J., Jennings, K. D., Kelley, S. A., &amp;amp; Marshal, M. (2009). &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3548442/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Maternal Depression, Paternal Psychopathology, and Toddlers’ Behavior Problems.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;em&gt;Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology&lt;/em&gt;, 38(1), 48–61. &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/15374410802575362&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;DOI&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Nelson, Denise R.; Hammen, Constance; Brennan, Patricia A.; Ullman, Jodie B. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14516242/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The impact of maternal depression on adolescent adjustment: The role of expressed emotion.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;em&gt;Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology&lt;/em&gt;, Vol 71(5), Oct 2003, 935-944. &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.71.5.935&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;DOI&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T12:58:32.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19906" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-05T14:41:11.730" Score="10" ViewCount="962" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a lovely child who is very motivated in their schoolwork. They are getting straight A's, and are loved by all their teachers. They are autistic, and it seems that schoolwork is their new 'special interest'. It doesn't seem like a problem, until you look at the child themselves. We often have to remind them to eat, go to the bathroom, or sleep, because they are constantly doing homework. If we tell them to take a break, they panic because they don't want to ruin their grades. We can barely get them in the shower. Not to mention they get next to no sunlight or exercise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently sat down and asked them why they were so worried, and it was summed up that they want to have exceptional grades because of &quot;all the things wrong with them&quot;. They are transgender, openly gay, and autistic, and they are worried that no one will ever hire them because of these things. They refuse rewards, literally sobbing if we buy them a little gift as a &quot;good job!&quot; sort of thing. They are in counseling, but I'm still so worried. How can we help them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15029" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T15:39:27.210" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T00:40:52.430" Title="16yo works TOO MUCH?" Tags="|teen|school|special-needs|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-05T15:13:28.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there are any consequences to having Santa in your christmas routine-but that's just my own experience. When I was young, my  siblings and I all believed in santa. It never hurt any of us. In elementary school, it became sort of a 'rite of passage' in knowing wether or not Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairie, ect. were real or not. When we found out Santa wasn't real, we confronted my mother. She told us that Santa wasn't real, but told us the story of St. Nicholas as well. She explained it as sort of a custom to honor this kind man. I did the same thing when my child asked about Santa, and they were satisfied by the explanation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15029" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T15:13:28.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19908" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-05T17:37:30.877" Score="3" ViewCount="6504" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nearly 16 month old gets very upset when I leave the room, even if it's just for a 2 minute trip to the bathroom. I'm not leaving him on his own but with another adult that he knows well (eg his Dad). This is strange because he's fine every weekday at daycare and he's OK if I go out for a while but if I'm just in the next room and he can't get to me, he cries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried the usual tips for leaving, like making sure I say goodbye, explaining where I'm going and that I'll be back soon but it doesn't seem to help. If I can hear him crying outside the door I'll tell him I'm nearly finished and not to worry but he keeps crying. He doesn't speak much yet but he seems to understand a lot so I think he must know what I'm saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can be playing happily when I go but once he notices I'm not there, he comes looking for me and cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone had a similar problem and found any good solutions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T17:43:12.427" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T20:31:59.293" Title="Why does my toddler cry when I go out of the room for a short time?" Tags="|toddler|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19906" CreationDate="2015-05-05T18:22:36.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It kind of sounds like your child might feel a bit out of control and needs a bit of help forming structure around their life. Something you can do is to sit down with them and discuss solid achievable goals. They need to differentiate between achievable and useless goals. Tell them that having goals, such as being &quot;not good enough&quot;, aren't achievable and won't help them. Then give them structure by together forming reachable and plot-able goals, for both short term and long term. Set up mutually agreed upon rewards as well as consequences. Goals without consequences, no matter how trivial are fairly useless when someone needs the structure. You need to get through that taking care of themselves is apart of the long and short term goals that also have consequences. List out for them some of the possible social consequences of poor hygiene. List out the possible academic consequences for poor sleep and nutrition. You can then list out the &quot;rewards&quot; of both a clear head, met nutritional needs, and clean body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that might help is having him research into the affects of poor nutrition and hygiene. Is he taking Biology or anatomy? If you are in good communication with their teachers? You might ask that the teachers assign your child a report on what the body needs to function properly. Your child may not internalize what you are saying unless they researches it for themselves. Try to get them to connect the research to their own performance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T18:22:36.737" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19910" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-05-05T18:56:12.923" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T18:56:12.923" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T18:56:12.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19911" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-05-05T18:56:12.923" Score="0" Body="Additional assignments from school that are expected to be completed at home. See also: [school]." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2021-03-21T15:29:08.707" LastActivityDate="2021-03-21T15:29:08.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="19912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19893" CreationDate="2015-05-05T20:01:47.133" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a child my mother fed me a lot of pineapple (I was born in Hawaii).  Apparently this was the cause of my citric acid allergy, which translated into so many ear infections when I was a child that my eardrums are badly scarred now.  I'd be careful about anything too acidic (citrus fruits, tomatoes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T20:01:47.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19891" CreationDate="2015-05-05T23:25:45.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the challenges that you will have to face is accepting that there is going to be pain generated by this separation.  Either he is so full of anxiety that he is unable to even deal with the thought of separation, or he is taking advantage, knowing that he can defy you without consequences.  Or maybe both.  It may be difficult for you to know what is going on without help from a professional.  Definitely seek help for yourself (don't count on getting him in at first) and your counselor should help you take the steps that you need to start moving toward a healthy separation from your adult child.  It may be that will need to be on anti-anxiety treatments before he is strong enough to stand on his own feet, but it doesn't sound like he will be able to move in that direction without strong motivation from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But either way, if he is so openly defiant as your account suggests, it sounds like you may have had trouble in the past in delivering on promised consequences. (Forgive me if I am making bad guesses, it is only a guess and I do not mean this to sound judgmental)  Punishment is a word that leaves a bad taste in many parents' minds, as it brings to mind abuse and harm, but properly applied discipline is essential for creating a healthy relationship with a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Society has consequences.  Children who were not consistently punished for misbehavior can grow up not understanding (or not believing) that there will be consequences when they break the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;David Boshton's suggestions about laying out the rules is a good one.  To this I will add that you need to set consequences for his not following the rules, and MOST important, you need to prepare yourselves to enforce those consequences.  It will be difficult, even painful, for everyone, but it must be done if he is to achieve the independence that he needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are you prepared to do if he refuses to pay rent?  You may have to go so far as change the locks and not give him a key.  That means if you have left the house and he gets back from work he will have to sit outside in his car waiting for you to get home.  He needs to be made to understand that the place you live can no longer be his home, it is your home and he is a house guest.  This will be easier once you move and he no longer has memories and a sense of entitlement attached to the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all love our children, and it is painful (sometimes even more for us than for them) when we must make them unhappy.  We take away something they want and believe they deserve, and they cry or they rage.  I will always remember the look on my best friend's face the first time her child threw a full-on tantrum, screaming &quot;I hate you, I hate you, you're MEAN!&quot; and ran into her room, slamming the door.  It stabs us through the heart for so many reasons.  But every parent has to go through it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most vital of all is understanding what expectations and consequences are appropriate, hence the counseling.  Personally, I think a couple of months of counseling should be mandatory for every new parent, and that occasional refreshers are healthy and beneficial.  Not only will counseling help you to find the right path in this relationship, it will give you the peace of mind to know that you are doing the right thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2015-05-05T23:37:03.003" LastActivityDate="2015-05-05T23:37:03.003" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19906" CreationDate="2015-05-06T00:00:41.250" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you can afford counseling, that might be a good idea.  Be sure to find someone with experience with transgender and gay issues.  It sounds to me as if your child is having anxieties due to gender and disability issues (something (s)he can't control) and is transferring to something (s)he can control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be important to find a place where (s)he can &lt;em&gt;safely&lt;/em&gt; deal with the root cause for his/her anxieties instead of focusing on side issues.  By this I don't mean to imply that you are not making their environment safe, but that strangers can be safer than those we love when we are dealing with sensitive issues.  We don't want to disappoint those we love so it is hard to be completely honest sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Transgendered and gay children often end up with poor self esteem.  It is important for you to help him/her build up self esteem.  One interesting and extremely useful fact that I found out when researching how to build up a child's self esteem is that telling them they have done a good job and reassuring them and complementing them and rewarding them are good things to do, but the number one most effective way to build a child's self esteem is to spend time together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That really floored me, but after thinking about it for a while, it made sense.  Telling them, not with words but with actions, &quot;being with you is a pleasure and I enjoy it&quot; tells them that they are a person with value.  Since then I have tried to work harder at making time to do fun things as a family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T00:00:41.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19917" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19919" CreationDate="2015-05-06T07:48:18.763" Score="11" ViewCount="5765" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 18 month old kisses us when we ask her to. My question is, at what age we should tell her not to kiss everyone who asks her to?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14423" LastEditorUserId="4659" LastEditDate="2015-05-06T13:21:59.190" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T06:00:30.320" Title="At what age we should tell our toddler to not kiss everyone who asks her to?" Tags="|toddler|education|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19917" CreationDate="2015-05-06T08:21:28.900" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that it is not needed to wait. Contrary to @Alexander, I would not stop completely to ask for kisses, as my wife and me often do with our 4 years old girl. And also, as I do with my wife, and as she does with me. I think asking for kisses from someone you love is acceptable with childs as well as with adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing you can do is teach her that when she is asked for kisses, she does not have to kiss. She can refuse to kiss, and it is ok. Of course, this means that when she does not want to kiss you, you should be ok with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 18 months, she is able to make choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T08:21:28.900" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19788" CreationDate="2015-05-06T09:06:43.877" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Initially parents say some kind of &quot;innocent&quot; lie to children and when children grow older parents become puzzled why children speak innocent lies to parents. For parents it's can be hard to understand that they taught their children to lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16039" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T09:06:43.877" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6281" CreationDate="2015-05-06T10:46:37.400" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure mealtimes look like mealtimes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have children in highchairs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have the highchairs pulled up to the table.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have adults sit and eat with them at the same time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lead by example (i.e. do not throw food around yourselves!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where possible eat the same food as the children are having. Do not offer endless alternatives that the children can have instead. Do not have a TV on. Do not have an iPad/tablet for the children to play with during meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16040" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T10:46:37.400" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19917" CreationDate="2015-05-06T14:52:20.567" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was 18 months old, she would always give us kisses when we asked. Now she is a little older and, if she doesn't want to give us a kiss when we ask, she doesn't. We didn't have to teach her, she just figured it out. Perhaps you should begin to worry about this if it becomes a problem with other people but I think she will figure it out for herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6516" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T14:52:20.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19917" CreationDate="2015-05-06T17:05:13.987" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should tell her not to when she starts kissing those you believe shouldn't receive that level of intimacy from her, and you should be an example of appropriate intimacy levels with others. You may want to encourage her to perform these social acts with those you do want her to have that type of relationship with - kissing grandparents and siblings might be acceptable depending on your culture and values.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants, toddlers, and young children thrive on physical interaction and acts of appropriate intimacy within their family relationships. Particularly prior to their ability to communicate verbally, physical social communication helps them understand their place in the family and the world, and their relationship with others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you encourage them to shake hands, high five, or kiss another person, you are essentially telling them what relationship they should have with that individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they disagree, they'll generally let you know through actions or refusal.  They may need to warm up to a person before they accept kisses and similar gestures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that in some cultures kissing, such as at the sides of the cheeks, is not reserved for high levels of intimacy or even close friendship.  There are no specific, absolute guidelines for child development regarding such social graces.  Decide what you want for your child, and teach them that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T17:05:13.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19929" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20292" CreationDate="2015-05-06T20:39:30.997" Score="9" ViewCount="794" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child (3 yr old) will soon begin his reading journey, and I'm wondering if now (or at least within a few months) is a good time to get him to start learning the ABCs? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently found a programmer-themed ABC book on Kickstarter (so if it actually manages to get funded, it will still be at least 6 months out before I can sit down and read it to him; he'll be 4 by then).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is age 4 a good time to do this, or is it too late/early? I don't want to waste time showing him something for learning purposes that he can't quite grasp yet, but at the same time, I don't want to put him to sleep (I have enough problems with that already :))&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16051" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-12-13T04:42:00.923" LastActivityDate="2017-10-06T15:23:38.807" Title="When should I teach my toddler the ABCs?" Tags="|toddler|education|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19930" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-06T20:42:56.250" Score="3" ViewCount="917" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for some wisdom. My little one is 3 months and feeds 6 bottles a day at 150 ml. We feed her at 10 pm, 2 am and 6 am rigidly every day and the remainder during daytime when she requires.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is in bed from 7 pm-6.30 am. She mostly dream feeds 10 pm and 2 am, but I have to change her mid-feed (so she isn't 100% asleep) as she gets so wet after 4 hours. The other times she wakes up 5 minutes before my alarm, so she is definitely hungry!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for encouraging ways to eventually drop the 2 am feed. I'm not desperate to do this, as she is stirring only at 2 and then about 6 am, but I do need to regain my own full-night's sleep where possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was 6 lb. at birth and 3 weeks early so I don't want to be too hard on her as she is catching up still at 11 lb. 8 oz.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16052" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-07T20:05:46.260" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T20:05:46.260" Title="How to drop the night feeding for a 3-month-old?" Tags="|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19917" CreationDate="2015-05-06T21:59:30.613" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids don't normally need explicit instruction from their parents in order to conform to the behaviors that are expected in their culture. They learn these things by example. For example, if your kid is growing up in France, she'll learn that it's normal for &lt;a href=&quot;http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Illiadegaulle.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the male President to kiss male dignitaries on the cheek&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say why this is a concern, so possibly you're worried that she'll be a victim of sexual abuse. The thing to realize here is that when children are sexually abused, it's almost always by someone they know well. Therefore your child will not be made any safer by telling her to refuse to have kisses with people she doesn't know well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9075" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T21:59:30.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19932" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-06T22:08:35.820" Score="4" ViewCount="135" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 8 and my daughter 16. My son's father was physically abusive to me, and emotionally abusive and neglectful towards both children. He is a severe alcoholic with a personality disorder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have struggled with keeping him in my son's life since our separation 4 years ago. My daughter hates him and voices her disgust over his presence. He constantly cancels visits or has friends over and gets drunk/has blackouts while he had my son with him. He has also driven my son home while drunk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son's is now diagnosed with depressive disorder. He is hurting himself and talking about dying. He is in therapy multiple times a week and attends Al-anon meetings when they are offered at school. He goes to school yelling about his dad lying, he throws desks, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each time his dad has relapsed, my son has had increasingly severe episodes. I'm ready to cut his dad out until he is old enough and stable enough to decide for himself. I have asked my son's father to meet with my son and his therapist but he refuses. My son does not want me to make this decision and thinks his dad will get better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is cutting a dad out of their child life ever the right choice? I am aware of my rights. I have full custody and do not have to allow him visitation. I just struggle with whether or not this is the appropriate decision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16054" LastEditorUserId="16054" LastEditDate="2015-05-06T23:11:00.117" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T23:11:00.117" Title="Tackling visitation" Tags="|custody|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4568" CreationDate="2015-05-06T22:17:15.663" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was very daunted by potty training. When my son was 2 1/2 he started peeing outside in the summer on the grass so I thought maybe he was ready. When I put him in underwear he cried and complained and peed in them. Not until recently he is 3 yrs. and 4 months did he tell me straight away that he didn't want to wear diapers anymore. We came home one day and he decided to go pee in the toliet (although he actually pooed), and that was that. He's had a few accidents but no more forcing him to wear underpants. I personally feel that a child will respond when they are ready. If you are having any major issues or outbursts I would say they are not ready. If it just revolves around accidents they just need a little bit more training. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16055" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T22:17:15.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19783" CreationDate="2015-05-06T22:28:29.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like something is going on this is not normal behavior for children their age. Your daughter could probably fix her relationship with them in a weekend but there's no real point. It will go back to the same if their parents don't keep it up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as not a big deal it is a real big deal. What are they going to do when they are 12 and 120lbs and act the same way? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd see a Behavior Analyst and get an assessment. The first step is figuring out the cause of the behavior. Until then you can't fix it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T22:28:29.003" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19932" CreationDate="2015-05-06T22:45:31.183" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, sometimes it is. Sometimes a bad parent is much worse than an absent parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's certainly true in the case of physical abuse. There are degrees of emotional abuse, and while cancelling visits at the last moment is very painful, I'm not sure that it's grounds for refusing visitation. But you know the extent to which your son is mistreated much better than we do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've done well to try to keep your son's father in his life, and it's clear that your heart is breaking for your son. However, for emotional abuse, you can't legally make that determination alone; there is too much responsibility and potential guilt associated with that decision, if not now, then down the line. Please talk with a good therapist (not a school counselor) and make it with them. Get a second opinion if you need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do now, though, is to deny your ex's visits to protect your son. He places your son in jeopardy not only by driving under the influence, but every time he abuses alcohol in your son's presence. If you go to court to change visitation, your ex may well be required by the court to attend an alcohol rehabilitation program and/or counseling. The ability to resume visitation will be contingent on successfully completing the program, and may also include family counseling, which is giving your ex the opportunity to get his act together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might consider therapy as well. Dealing with the problems your son is having has to be very difficult, and you can probably benefit from professional advice. It's an awful lot to deal with on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-06T22:45:31.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19937" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-07T00:40:52.413" Score="3" ViewCount="323" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 6 months old and falls asleep to the movement of his swing. When we put him down to sleep, he gets super cranky and throws a fit (I think). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my husband tells him no, our son cries hard and my husband says that's my son's way of understanding. I feel our son just gets frightened because of the stern tone in my husband's voice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to getting my son to not act this way? Is it to early to be telling him no and teaching him at this age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edit: additional information incorporated from various comments:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He will push himself up in his swing to where he nearly is over it even strapped in. The swing is safe, but he's too long for it. I have a crib but my son likes to sleep in his swing. I've tried transitioning him multiple times and it doesn't work. He has slept in his swing since he was 2 weeks old. He falls asleep to the movement of the swing and sleeps to the movement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our son starts crying and in my view throwing a fit, we both tell him no or that it's not OK to do that. We don't yell or spank him we just talk to him and tell him no. My husband puts a more stern tone in his voice when telling him no as to when I do it. And I think that's what scares him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has multiple toys and activities he does throughout the day. The only time he is in his swing is to sleep. Nothing else. The only time he's constantly in it is at night when he sleeps through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16058" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-17T19:43:56.113" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T19:43:56.113" Title="Infant has trouble falling asleep" Tags="|infant|discipline|bedtime|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19930" CreationDate="2015-05-07T01:57:16.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 6 months and didn't stop his night feedings until 5 months. He is 16 lbs now was 6 lbs when he was born. I bathe him and put him to bed no later than 8:30. If he does wake up I put his binky in his mouth and he falls right back to sleep. That's how I broke his night feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16058" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T01:57:16.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19908" CreationDate="2015-05-07T03:23:18.430" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest strapping him into his stroller and bringing him with you.  Or if you need privacy, how about if father starts something special with him before you go?  Such as toddler makes a phone call to friend or relative, or father takes toddler out for a short walk or just steps outside with him to see what the weather's like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T03:23:18.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19903" CreationDate="2015-05-07T03:36:41.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children find it quite frightening to see me cry.  So, extrapolating backwards to age one, I think it must be frightening for that age too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of things I don't understand.  (First, I'll say that I'm not sure if your partner is &quot;she&quot; -- but for convenience, I'll use that pronoun for now.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First -- does she seem to find solace from being near him when she's upset?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next -- are you hesitating to go pick him up and take him out for a walk, some lunch, or some play time, when she's having this cry-fest with him?  Perhaps because you don't want to upset her further?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last -- I don't get how this unfortunate situation might result in your son developing negative feelings toward you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a suggestion for you.  My husband and I were doing some family therapy when our second child arrived.  When he was about six months old, the therapist suggested that we avoid having heated discussions in front of the baby.  Well, that wasn't very practical, because he was a baby who didn't sleep much.  So we started singing our disagreements.  Simply stuffing the differences of opinion and problems we needed to work out wouldn't have done anyone any good.  By singing our disagreements, we were able to keep up our good parenting, which was important to both of us, but still say what we need to say to each other.  We just happened to hit on &quot;The Streets of Laredo&quot; by accident, and it worked really well.  My verses tended to go something like this: &quot;Oh (two syllable name of husband), you are not listening very well; actually I said the exact opposite....&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope your partner is in treatment and starts to improve soon.  If your partner is reluctant to seek therapy herself, I would suggest you go by yourself.  Living with a person with depression is not easy, and you would benefit from some therapeutic support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T03:36:41.713" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11448" CreationDate="2015-05-07T03:52:46.757" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few ideas for you to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have her knock on the wall to call you when she's done -- or just go stand at the ready when you hear the water go off.  She can lean to one side, open the door a few inches, and let you check her, before she goes to the trouble of drying off and getting dressed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Buy her a visor (it's like a baseball cap without the dome part), and have her wear that to keep her face dry.  I put one of these on my mother-in-law when I wash her hair.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She can put a washcloth over her face just in case.  My mother-in-law does that.  She can hold the washcloth with one hand and use the other to swish her hair around.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try a shorter hair style.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that leaving some soap in will make it harder to brush and comb, and can give her an itchy scalp.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will describe how I go about problem solving with my children.  (Maybe you already do this, or something similar.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We sit down on something comfortable (e.g. sofa) with a clipboard and a pencil.  I say, let's brainstorm some possible solutions to such-and-so problem.  We take turns.  No solution is too far out to be written down.  This is not the stage for nixing ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then we each get to cross some out, saying why.  Hopefully you'll end up with at least two reasonable options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, as a parent, you have to accept an option which you know has very little likelihood of being carried out, or of working.  But you hold on to the list, and come back to it if needed.  It helps if you agree on a back-up plan during the original brainstorming-negotiating session.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think I probably got this procedure from one of the parenting books by Faber and Mazlish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T03:52:46.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="203" CreationDate="2015-05-07T04:08:47.920" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that's not clear from the question is whether you are using the school as a free day care while you are at work or otherwise not available to supervise your children yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, you can reduce their hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, what if you need them to be there?  &quot;If leaving the school is not an option, then encouraging his kids to find ways of entertaining themselves in a non-disruptive manner when they have finished their work is an important skill. I constantly kept books with me at school because I always finished my work early, but I knew better than to be sent home with a note saying I'd been disruptive in class. If reading isn't his deal, then a Suddoku book might be or a small logic puzzle book that he could work on in class.&quot;  Some children can't concentrate on something like that with so much going on around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short answer is to tell the teacher, in response to complaints of disruptiveness, &quot;Keep him busy.  Give him plenty of work to do that challenges him.&quot;  Since it is not likely she's going to take the time to design additional worksheets for your child, you may want to send in some materials you have selected yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a look at the lists of accommodations recommended for children with ADHD.  I'm not saying your children are ADHD, I'm just saying that some of those accommodations are GREAT!  I hope your lines of communication with the teacher are open enough that you can get some of those accommodations implemented -- either informally or formally through a 504 plan (you could say that it's for Executive Function).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have of those lists handy, so I'll give you a similar one written for children with Tourette Syndrome.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://teacherweb.com/NY/ValleyStream13/howellroadpbis/CatalogOfAccomidations.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://teacherweb.com/NY/ValleyStream13/howellroadpbis/CatalogOfAccomidations.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's some stuff in here you can skip over, but there's also a lot of great ideas for active children (who tend to be the square peg in elementary schools).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to get more dynamic teachers for next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T04:08:47.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11251" CreationDate="2015-05-07T04:17:20.933" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;@Joe is right about asking a realtor.  Realtors know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing you can do is visit some schools.  If you're embarrassed to state the reason for wanting to visit, you can make something up -- you are thinking about going back to school to become a teacher.  You've heard that there are new teaching techniques being used now than were used when you were small, and you'd like to see what all the excitement is about.  Or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you visit, you'll be able to tell what you like and what you don't like.  Take notes in a special notebook.  Save it.  Visit again in a year or two and see if your impressions are consistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like the idea that was mentioned of visiting some PTA meetings.  PTAs get a special brownie point for every &quot;community member&quot; they sign up as a member.  They'll be very glad to have you come as a &quot;community member.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Visit some school playgrounds with your little one after school.  You don't have to ask for permission to do this -- you just show up!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T04:17:20.933" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19937" CreationDate="2015-05-07T04:43:09.787" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recommend using the swing much less.  Once or twice a day, for fun, but not as a way of getting the child to sleep.  The child can sleep on a simple bed arrangement set up on the floor or on a low platform if you do not have a crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with you, six months is too young for the type of discipline your husband would like to apply.  Good discipline is based on a trusting relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We need to recognize that your husband is probably expressing his frustration.  His frustration is very understandable.  It will be important to acknowledge that with him.  His feelings are important and understandable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please make sure your baby is getting lots of exercise, fresh air, play time with mother, play time with father, and opportunities to see other children.  These are all conducive to good sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;@user16058, thank you for clarifying!  &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/19974/4054&quot;&gt;Alice's advice about weaning off the swing&lt;/a&gt; sounds good.  You might experiment with getting baby to sleep by holding him in your arms, or in a carrier, and swaying, rocking or walking. A wrap-style of carrier is the best for this, in my opinion.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4kiSrPWr-c&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here is a video that shows how to do a &quot;kangaroo pouch&quot; wrap.&lt;/a&gt; Once you've got baby in your kangaroo pouch, you should walk around and sing.  I used to walk back and forth in my hall.  He may cry for a minute or two, but if that baby is tired, he will be asleep within five minutes, max.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't want to get him to sleep this way every day.  This method is for the days when he's having trouble falling asleep in the usual way.  While you're getting out of the swing habit is a good time to use the baby wrap method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby throwing a fit when it's bedtime or naptime could mean you're expecting him to take too many naps.  At this age, most babies have settled down to two naps per day. But it could also mean that he's so excited about all the fun stuff that's going on in his life right now, he's resisting falling asleep.  Six months is a time when that often happens.  There is a wonderful book about baby's first year by William Sears called &quot;Growing Together: A Parent's Guide to Baby's First Year.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish your husband's method of reading the child the riot act and ordering him to cooperate, stop resisting, and allow himself to fall asleep WORKED -- but my second baby had a great deal of difficulty winding down to fall asleep, and I can attest that the police chief-bullhorn method is doomed to failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T19:27:01.023" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19871" CreationDate="2015-05-07T05:48:58.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Active ignoring is a great and useful tool in behavior modification. However, it must be used appropriately and the correct time. If he is acting up or having behaviors for attention then actively ignoring well curb the behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if he is just doing it because he's a kid messing with things then it will not. Sounds like you need to block his access to the slider and redirect him to another activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assign him a task like getting the leash or getting the treats ready for when the puppy comes back inside. If he doesn't respond take it away until he earns it back by listening and following directions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T05:48:58.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19917" CreationDate="2015-05-07T06:00:30.320" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know that you need to broach this subject at all. She will learn when she is comfortable with it and when she isn't. Don't force her to give kisses if she's uncomfortable. Let it be her choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T06:00:30.320" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19906" CreationDate="2015-05-07T06:07:33.747" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Counseling as well as behavior therapy would help a lot with the anxiety. The therapist should be working on coping skills especially as it relates to transition times from preferred activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make a schedule and make her stick to it. Make a time for everything including leisure activities. It will be a fight and her behaviors will increase but it will get better. In the long run it will help give her the skills she will need as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T06:07:33.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19677" CreationDate="2015-05-07T06:27:34.503" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you have a lot of things going on. Choose the most important and work on that first. I would say it is behavior specifically aggression. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now step back the punishment a notch a 5yr old would normally be 5 minutes of calm for time out. The time starts over if he isn't calm (yelling, hitting things, crying is ok but whining is not, etc). Then start your stair steps once he's been calm for his 5 min. The point is to gain compliance and return him to the previous situation calmly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now what you are missing it seems is positive reinforcement. Set up a programs so he's always earning and never losing.  When he is having inappropriate behavior he is no longer earning but once he goes back to compliant he starts earning again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reinforcement could be tv time, story time, one on one time w mom, but be consistent. If he earns it he gets it immediately, no putting it off till later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T06:27:34.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19937" CreationDate="2015-05-07T08:54:22.337" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I understand your question correctly, you are telling him &quot;no&quot; to throwing a fit.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;when our son starts crying and in my view throwing a fit, we both tell him no or that it's not ok to do that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies that are are unable to control their emotions. That takes a lot of front-lobe neural activity which isn't developed yet. Around 15 - 18 months, they start to be able to modulate their emotional reactions somewhat, but even up to school age that is very difficult for children to do. You can find a lot of interesting insights to what baby is capable of understanding or not in the book: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553378252&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the&#xA;   First Five Years of Life  by Lise Eliot&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age, it's better to physically limit any activities are dangerous rather than simply saying &quot;no&quot;. Since you say the swing isn't dangerous, it's more about your desire to get him to not swing so high and ideally to fall asleep in his crib without having a strong negative emotional reaction or &quot;throwing a fit&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting to sleep in his crib will take time, and will undoubtedly be accompanied by negative emotional reactions since his swing has become a sleep association; just like you probably couldn't fall asleep easily without your pillow and blanket since you are used to having them every time you go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try some of the suggestions from Dr. Ferber:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B000NY11NI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: Revised Edition by Richard Ferber&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He lays out strategies for breaking sleep association problems. It takes time, isn't easy, and does involve some crying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T08:54:22.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19954" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-07T09:11:45.853" Score="8" ViewCount="455" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most toddlers are creatures of habit and routine, and our toddler is the same. She is happiest when she has consistent mealtimes, naptime, and bedtime. When we go on vacation, however, we undoubtedly break that routine due to flights, long drives, hotel stays, restaurants, etc. I believe the exposure to new sights, sounds, and stimuli is good for her, but I can see that the lack of routine leads to lack of sleep and irritability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many countries don't have dinner options before 7 p.m. (some much later) which means staying up past bedtime if we eat out. Nap time will be on-the-go, not in a crib due to check-out times from hotels and our (selfish?) desire to sightsee. I'm happy to spend some time at playgrounds, but I don't want to only see playgrounds when there are centuries of art and culture to explore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I plan my vacations so that everyone in the family is most comfortable and happy? How much importance should I place on our toddler's sleep and entertainment vs. our own?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question differs from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/9011/balancing-childrens-needs-with-a-parents-own-needs&quot;&gt;Balancing children's needs with a parent's own needs&lt;/a&gt; in that it is specific to special circumstances while traveling or on vacation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T18:14:51.963" Title="While on vacation, how can I balance toddler's needs with parents wants/needs?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|travel|play-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19954" CreationDate="2015-05-07T09:53:03.347" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How much importance should I place on our toddler's sleep and&#xA;  entertainment vs. our own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, you have children. I think they should come first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleep is a secondary issue here, I wouldn't worry about it if you keep it all reasonable. But as for entertainment, consider this: would you like to go to a trip with your parents if they neglected you all the time? I wouldn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your toddler is not going to enjoy the same things you do. The museum of ancient history, art gallery, even simple sightseeing will most likely be boring for her. Moreover, she will be a danger to most exhibits in museums and you will have to pay very careful attention to what she's doing. Hence - you will see little and be more stressed than usual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately there is very little space for compromise. You will not be able to keep your daughter happy and occupied doing things you want to do. Your real options are: leave your daughter with somebody else when you go sightseeing or visiting museums, or do not sightsee too much and don't visit museums at all. Choose a location (presumably a lake or seashore, children tend to love them) which you will all enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for routines - vacation is, almost by definition, a break from routine. I would not worry too much about that. Just make sure your kid doesn't run hungry or is too overtired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And remember to go back to your usual routines as soon as you get back. It'll teach the child it's more or less OK to behave differently on vacation, but at home everything should return to normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T16:18:56.313" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T16:18:56.313" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19957" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-07T12:17:09.773" Score="0" ViewCount="465" Body="&lt;p&gt;The homeroom teacher changed the seating assignment for my child, because one of their other teachers complained to their homeroom teacher that my child was always talking during class time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My student now feels stressed out, is having difficulty with studying, and isn't comfortable with now having a boy partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help my student make the best out of this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16066" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-07T19:23:13.450" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T15:32:55.467" Title="What do you do when your child's teacher changes their seating assignment?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19958" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19961" CreationDate="2015-05-07T12:38:10.090" Score="26" ViewCount="4198" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would visiting an art museum, history museum, etc. which is not specifically geared toward children (i.e. not a &quot;children's museum&quot;) be good for a toddler?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming that the toddler is under control (not in danger of hurting him/herself or the museum exhibits/art/artifacts), and the length of time spent is in line with the attention span of the toddler, and the toddler is well fed, has had a nap, and generally in a decent mood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a spin-off or follow-up question to my other question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19954/while-on-vacation-how-can-i-balance-toddlers-needs-with-parents-wants-needs?noredirect=1#comment37075_19954&quot;&gt;While on vacation, how can I balance toddler's needs with parents wants/needs?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;where someone provided an answer that said &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Museum of ancient history, art gallery, even simple sightseeing will most likely be boring for her&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T12:23:38.627" Title="Is visiting museums worthwhile or beneficial for a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|activities|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-07T12:55:26.130" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general in museums you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have to be silent&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can't run (at least it's frowned upon)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;can't touch anything&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;mustn't destroy anything!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;spend a lot of time (hours or even a day or two - like in Louvre)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which of these things seem to be compatible with toddlers? :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I once visited toys museum with my (then) girlfriend. I guess our toddler would have some fun there, she loves different dolls and teddys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A museum with paintings - I guess could be ok, depending on the child and the paintings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;History, sculptures, war, technology - I find it unlikely that a toddler would enjoy it at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are some &quot;museums&quot; which offer a lot of fun (and education) specifically for children, perhaps even for toddlers. We've got one here in Warsaw, take a look at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kopernik.org.pl/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Copernicus Science centre&lt;/a&gt;. There's a lot of interaction, a lot of installations you can discover with multiple senses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you find such &quot;museum&quot; in the town you're headed to, your toddler will be happy you brought her along:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T17:30:55.480" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T17:30:55.480" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-07T13:24:41.587" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, visiting an art gallery or history museum is great for toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in London and are blessed with a huge number of world class free museums and I would say that taking a toddler to a museum is an amazing experience for both parents and toddler. You will be surprised by how rewarding it is for all of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been taking our daughter to museums since she was 1. At that age she wasn't able to walk for more than a few seconds before having to resort to crawling, but that didn't stop her from being able to wander around while we looked over the exhibit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she is 19 months and absolutely loves museums. She'll wander around and although she doesn't speak much, she will hold her arms up if she wants to be lifted because the exhibit is too high for her to see. We always try to get to the museum for opening so it's at its quietest, so she has the space to herself and is less likely to be tripped over and follow her as she walks from room to room. Even at her age, for the last few months she will wander up to an exhibit and point at it and babble away about it in toddler language, and then wander on to the next thing that interests her. She will do this for literally hours and often we, the parents, get hungry and bored of the museum before she does. Of course sometimes she's more interested in a sign on the wall or a random mark on the floor than the real exhibit but most the time she 'gets' what it is she is supposed to be looking at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, what you don't want is exhibitions designed for children. With these they aren't designed for young toddlers and there are often far too many 'bigger' children running around and it can become unpleasant for the toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in relation to your question about how to balance what you do for you and what you do for the toddler... when on holiday, after spending a long time in the push chair and maybe a long time sitting down at lunch, we will visit a museum specifically as an activity that is for our toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to all these people who are saying that museums are boring for toddlers, just try it once and you will see that that is really not the case. Just remember to let your toddler dictate which rooms and exhibits she gets to look at rather than you taking the lead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4229" LastEditorUserId="4229" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T10:09:53.997" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T10:09:53.997" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-07T13:59:06.447" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started looking into research relating to the value that toddlers might get from a museum visit, and I'm almost overwhelmed by the number of quotes and discussions I found (much of it from the museum's perspective).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://arts.gov/art-works/2014/importance-taking-children-museums&quot;&gt;The Importance of Taking Children to Museums&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; from the National Endowment for the Arts &lt;em&gt;Art Works Blog&lt;/em&gt; (the post includes links to a great deal of other research and discussion)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There’s no shortage of research indicating the benefits of museum&#xA;  visits for children. They can provide memorable, immersive learning&#xA;  experiences, provoke imagination, introduce unknown worlds and subject&#xA;  matter, and offer unique environments for quality time with family...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.toledomuseum.org/learn/babytours/&quot;&gt;Toledo Museum of Art has &quot;baby tours&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; to encourage families with young children to visit. And they tell you why:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;... an art museum is a rich source of visual&#xA;  stimulation for babies. Introducing infants to works of art promotes&#xA;  early neuron connections in the brain. And for the verbal toddler,&#xA;  interacting with an adult in naming images and describing different&#xA;  characteristics in a work of art lays the groundwork for visual,&#xA;  cognitive, and language development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.si.edu/content/seec/docs/article-artwithtoddlers.pdf&quot;&gt;Looking At Art With Toddlers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, a paper on the Smithsonian Institute website, has a number of arguments in favor of children going to an art museum and cites a lot of research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Long before children can speak, their responses to shapes, sounds, and&#xA;  other necessary phenomena around them establish their personal&#xA;  personalities and their styles of interacting with the world...&#xA;  Aesthetic experiences can enhance cultural sensitivity, promote&#xA;  language development, and improve the quality of young children's own&#xA;  art making. For aesthetic development to occur, children need&#xA;  experience with beautiful environments within the school and home,&#xA;  exposure to fine art and opportunities to discuss art and beauty with&#xA;  thoughtful adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also from the Smithsonian Institute, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.si.edu/Content/SEEC/docs/mem%20literature%20review%20early%20learning%20in%20museums%20final%204%2012%202012.pdf&quot;&gt;Early Learning in Museums: A Review of Literature&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; is a literature review with a more academic approach. However:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This review indicates that: 1) museums, with their real artifacts,&#xA;  dioramas, and immersive exhibitions provide a uniquely positive&#xA;  environment to foster learning by young children; 2) young children&#xA;  are interested in artifacts and exhibitions in traditional museums and&#xA;  can learn disciplinary-specific information, such as history or&#xA;  biology, long before they encounter those disciplines in formal school&#xA;  settings; 3) young children approach artifacts and exhibits&#xA;  idiosyncratically based on their individual motives and interests;&#xA;  they learn by encountering real artifacts which they talk about with&#xA;  others, and about which they sometimes express their reactions in&#xA;  various verbal and artistic ways; 4) appropriate adult encouragement&#xA;  can enhance children’s learning and exploratory behaviors in museums&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So &lt;strong&gt;we can pretty safely conclude that taking the toddler to the museum is beneficial&lt;/strong&gt;. I think that the key is understanding the difference between a child's &quot;great&quot; museum experience and a more traditional adult museum experience. So I also have a few general tips on adapting expectations for a museum visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A stroller or other carrier is pretty critical. Not only does this&#xA;keep the toddler strapped down (eliminating any chance of an eager&#xA;rush towards a priceless artwork), but with my kids, the stroller&#xA;&quot;signalled&quot; that it was time to sit still and take in the scenery.&#xA;Whether it was a walk through the park, a hike in the woods, or&#xA;taking a tour of a historic house, they were pretty content to look&#xA;at the scenery and enjoy the experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some museums don't allow strollers, but we had a backpack carrier as&#xA;well that I never heard an objection to.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be willing to walk quickly. Not only does this let you fit in more&#xA;museum time before boredom really takes hold, but it brings the new&#xA;visual experiences more quickly. Many adults are capable of gazing at&#xA;a beautiful artwork for minutes. A toddler prefers to look at it, be&#xA;interested briefly, and then find something new to look at.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the museum (some prefer a very quiet, contemplative&#xA;atmosphere), chat with your child about what you see that would be&#xA;interesting from their perspective. &lt;em&gt;A Sunday on La Grande Jatte&lt;/em&gt; may be&#xA;a wonderful example of pointillism, but a toddler wants to know about&#xA;the doggies and the monkey. (I didn't even &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; there was a monkey&#xA;until my toddler pointed it out.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Look into whether a museum has a child-oriented area in addition to the&#xA;primary exhibits. Even art and history museums may have a room where kids&#xA;can create their own art (supplied with paper, crayons, and various craft&#xA;supplies) or get to handle replicas of artifacts. It's a useful break&#xA;where they can be &lt;em&gt;childish&lt;/em&gt; in between calmer walks through the&#xA;galleries.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T13:59:06.447" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-07T15:47:11.450" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In contrast to most of the other answers, I don't come with statistics or scientific basis for my response, simply a personal anecdote from last weekend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the museum is reasonably child friendly, and it aligns with things that hold the child's interests in a way that's accessible to them, it can be great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, here in town there's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nuclearmuseum.org/&quot;&gt;the National Nuclear Museum&lt;/a&gt;.  Of course my 2 and 3 year old couldn't care less about nuclear science, and I'm not going to explain to them the political/moral/historical ramifications of thermonuclear weaponry.  However, they have a large enclosed outer lot with number of decommissioned missiles, rockets, ICMB components, aircraft, and even the sail of a decommissioned nuclear attack submarine (quite out of place in the New Mexico Desert).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So they didn't learn anything about the history or context of America's nuclear weapons program, but they got to gawk at a bunch of airplanes and &quot;space ships!&quot;.  Most of the exhibits I took them through are outdoors, and the museum wasn't busy, so they caused minimal disruption and were easy to handle.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think it's about choosing the setting.  It'll still be a while before I try to introduce my boys to a more traditional museum, but this was a great time and good practice for keeping them sane in public :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16068" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T15:47:11.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19963" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19964" CreationDate="2015-05-07T16:43:01.573" Score="10" ViewCount="2348" Body="&lt;p&gt;We taught our son really early on to say and sign, &quot;Please&quot; when he wants things. We've never responded to his demands when he wants something, and have him ask nicely first. We also encourage &quot;thank you&quot;s and give him &quot;your welcome&quot;s. He's better signing these than saying these, we accept signing just as we would speaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'll usually have to prompt him, with a &quot;How do you as nicely?&quot;, &quot;Can you &lt;em&gt;ask&lt;/em&gt;?&quot;, &quot;Candy, &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt;?&quot;. However, he's now doing it on his own increasingly often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem we have is that sometimes he'll just absolutely refuse to ask for something, and start crying or exhibiting a (really cute) grumpy demeanor. We've never given in to him behaving this way, so we're not sure why he's trying these tactics. The only factor that seems to be at play is that he's usually less cooperative when he's very tired, but it's not consistent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know the title of this question mentions only asking nicely, but I'm sure there are similar behaviors (saying things consistently) that could be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, how do you encourage a child to ask for things, when they usually have no issue with it but are currently in a grumpy mood?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask because of an incident the other night. Our son has found the see-through storage bin that has a rather sizable collection of unopened Hot Wheels cars. He continually tries to get into the closet to get some of them. He goes as far as clearing the closet door, opening the closet, and pulling bins off the top of the toy bin just to open it up! We don't have any problem with him having the cars, since they're technically &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt;, but we do want him to ask because not only is it polite but it helps us track how many he's getting. We don't want him getting too many too often, as the supply isn't infinite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, we stopped him from getting into the bin and told him he needed to ask nicely for the cars before he could have one. We were being quite sincere, and explained to him that he definitely &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; have one if he just asked (whereas sometimes he asks for things spontaneously, like cookies, and we say no). However, he cried and pouted at us. After 10-15 minutes, he ended up without a car simply because he wouldn't ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-05-07T17:11:51.367" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T19:36:53.140" Title="How to get your toddler to ask nicely for things when they're grumpy?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|speech|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19963" CreationDate="2015-05-07T17:10:21.867" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the sort of issue that happens all the time with toddlers and preschoolers: when sufficiently well rested and fed, they're polite and well behaved, but when something's amiss things go poorly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When this happens with us, we address it by triaging the problem first, and then make a choice based on that result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why did he refuse to ask nicely?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Because he was tired&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Because he is hungry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Because he is a bit sick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Because of a behavioral issue&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's hungry, we definitely have a solution - food!  Think about when he last ate.  If it's several hours ago, he might be hungry for a snack.  Redirection can accomplish this, and then when the snack is finished remind him about the cars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, please ask nicely if you want to have a car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Want car.  Give me car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, you know what, you look hungry.  How about some watermelon?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Want apple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, an apple sounds like a good plan.  Let's go do that now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here I don't insist on asking politely, because I know it's counterproductive.  He isn't going to learn anything by insisting here - it's just going to produce a negative reaction and end up with a worse situation.  That's worth the small loss, and you can reinforce the &amp;quot;ask nicely&amp;quot; with the car later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's tired or sick, you may not be able to correct that right away - certainly suggesting a nap is probably going to fail utterly, at least for us.  But what you can do is redirect for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Redirection to a different toy/activity can help here; you get out of the situation, at least.  I always try to tell him why we're doing this and why we should ask nicely, in the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, sometimes in these cases you end up in a fit and tears - but it actually helps him out, because it sets him up for sleep.  That's not ideal, but it seems at least to me that it nonetheless is helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, please ask nicely if you want to have a car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Want car.  Give me car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, I'm sorry, but if you want a car you need to ask.  They're not out where you can get to them, because you're not good enough at putting things away yet to have free access.  Mommy and Daddy don't want to put away your toys for you all the time, and if there are cars on the floor we might step on them and hurt our feet!  You also might lose your cars if they don't get put away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't want lose car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe we should do some coloring instead.  I bet I could find some paper and crayons for you to color with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Want purple crayon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like a good plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I'm not going to push for &amp;quot;Ask nicely&amp;quot; when it's a small alteration to my suggestion, as I don't want to end up in a negative circle.  Again, once the coloring is done, we'll circle back to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, we're all done coloring now.  Would you like to play with cars now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, want car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay.  Then let's practice what we do when we want a car.  What do you say to Daddy if you want a car?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please can I have car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you have your 'ask nicely' practice in, didn't give in to the misbehavior, but also avoided a major conflagration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, there are the behavioral issues - where your child knows he should be asking nicely and simply doesn't feel like it right now, despite not having any systemic problems making this difficult.  This tends to crop up more as he gets older, 3 or 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here my preference is to treat it similarly to tired/sick above (with redirection), except to try a bit harder at first to gain cooperation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, please ask nicely if you want to have a car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Want car. Give me car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, I'm sorry, but if you want a car you need to ask.  They're not out where you can get to them, because you're not good enough at putting things away yet to have free access.  Mommy and Daddy don't want to put away your toys for you all the time, and if there are cars on the floor we might step on them and hurt our feet!  You also might lose your cars if they don't get put away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't want lose car. Want car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Johnny, if you want a car, please ask Daddy politely.  You say &amp;quot;please&amp;quot;, because it is a nice thing to say to someone helping you with something.  If you only say &amp;quot;I want&amp;quot;, it sounds like you don't want to be nice to Daddy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Want car.  Get car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry Johnny, but we need to please use our nice words, or we'll have to do something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Want car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, Johnny, how about we do something else.  How about a puzzle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daddy say please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good point Johnny - Daddy should definitely ask nicely!  Please, Johnny, can we do a puzzle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay daddy.  Please puzzle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And again, once the puzzle is done, you can circle back to the 'please-car' issue just like earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I inserted in all of this was to consistently model &amp;quot;please&amp;quot; during these conversations.  In the parent-child relationship, it can be easy to get into the habit of &amp;quot;telling&amp;quot; instead of &amp;quot;asking&amp;quot;, particularly when frustrated by behavior.  This is a big problem - why after all will your child say &amp;quot;please&amp;quot; if you don't always do so?  It's definitely something I have a lot of room for improvement on.  I pointed it out in the last example of course, but even if your child doesn't call you on it, it's important to model as often as you can - that way it becomes automatic, and when you say &amp;quot;this is what we do as part of social behavior&amp;quot;, your child understands what you mean and sees you doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T17:10:21.867" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-07T17:32:19.103" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We visit quite a few museums with our kids.  You might be surprised at the experience.  Some museums are very clearly geared toward adults, but the vast majority make a great deal of effort to appeal to all ages.  They are designed as places for active learning rather than shrines for silent pondering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if the kids don't learn anything directly, they still learn:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The topic is interesting and important to you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning is a lifelong pursuit than even adults enjoy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why I find the topic interesting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To have a deeper, more physical connection to a subject.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To spark further interest in the topic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago the topic of President Andrew Jackson came up, I don't remember how.  I asked my son what he knew about him, which wasn't much, and he seemed very apathetic about it.  Then I reminded him that he was the man whose house (now a museum) we visited a few months back.  My son's eyes lit up, and he enthusiastically described Andrew Jackson's garden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what was so interesting about the garden in my son's eyes, but it turned Andrew Jackson from a dull entry in a history book into a real flesh and blood person worth knowing about.  That small spark we lit that day made it worthwhile, even if he didn't learn anything &quot;academic.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T17:32:19.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19937" CreationDate="2015-05-07T19:04:12.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're right that a stern tone can have an impact on an infant or a toddler.  That doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong to use it; but it largely should be used when it's necessary to get their attention.  For me, stern tone comes out (intentionally) when they're doing something &lt;em&gt;unsafe&lt;/em&gt;, or &lt;em&gt;hurtful&lt;/em&gt; to another; the two times I &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; want them to pay attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An infant who is crying at bedtime is neither unsafe nor hurting another, and moreover is not necessarily capable of understanding what he's doing wrong in this instance.  At four or five, it could be a tantrum.  At six months, it's certainly not; it's an expression of emotional pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you need to be very careful with at any age is acknowledging the feelings of a child are genuine.  It's inappropriate to tell someone &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; they feel (unless they are having trouble parsing their feelings, and want or need your help).  If your child says &quot;I'm mad&quot;, you don't tell them &quot;You shouldn't be mad&quot;.  You tell them they should change their &lt;em&gt;behavior&lt;/em&gt;, not their feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At six months, this is pretty difficult for them to understand.  The crying and fit is an expression of confusion, lack of control, and stress, as well as sadness and anger.  What can you do to help this? Some of it is simply time: the more you have them sleep in their crib, the more used to it they'll be.  You may need to comfort them more.  I still to this day stay with my 2 and 3.5 year old until they fall asleep in bed; I don't doubt that will continue for another year or two.  That isn't necessary for everyone - hopefully not for most - but it's not all that uncommon.  You can try 'cry it out' or the related Ferber method, or any one of a number of options for &quot;no-cry&quot; sleep training; or simply stay with them like I do.  Either way, you need to take an approach appropriate for a six month old who's really unable to control his emotional response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T19:04:12.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19967" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-07T19:08:05.743" Score="1" ViewCount="516" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, I joked to my wife the other day that she was getting macaroni art for mother's day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, now I think it's serious, and it's what she's going to get. I want to do some macaroni art with my son (26-months-old), and I'd like some ideas on how to make the process... workable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my head, I was thinking of preparing some cutouts or molds ahead of time, so we only need to focus on the pasting of macaroni to the object and decorating it. I was also thinking of using something like Elmer's glue, but in a small dish we can &quot;dip&quot; the macaroni in to maybe contain the mess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I'd really like to know if there are other techniques out there. I did macaroni art in Kindergarten, but not since then. All I remember is I made Christmas ornaments, and we also spray-painted them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I would like ideas on:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What to prepare beforehand myself, and what my toddler can do himself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to keep the inevitable mess minimized and contained&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to keep my child engaged long enough to complete all or most of one &lt;em&gt;objet d'art&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Types of adhesives/materials that work best (and are kid-safe)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anything I need to do &lt;em&gt;afterwards&lt;/em&gt;, such as applying a fixative&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Things to avoid doing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do other noodles work well? We can get &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; noodle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions on things to make are more than welcome, but please don't make them your entire answer. I'd really like help with the &lt;em&gt;technique&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm confident there are people out there with hands-on experience with what works and what doesn't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:30:47.170" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:30:47.170" Title="What's an easy way to do macaroni art with a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19906" CreationDate="2015-05-07T19:09:31.750" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Plenty of good answers here, but I didn't see this mentioned, so I'll add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of people of all ages (with or without other disabilities) have a hard time keeping track of what their real priorities are or should be.  Obviously teenagers are often more vulnerable to this, but it really is quite common.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They can get into a &quot;tunnel vision&quot; mindset that reduces their perspective on life to a very short list of factors or traits and really limits their ability to maintain a healthy balance in life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, if your child thinks of themselves, first and foremost, as a transgender kid that will never get a good job (or must exert superhuman effort to get one), it's difficult for them to pull back and look at all the other aspects of their current or future life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may come off as harsh, and probably isn't the language you should use with them, but I think the logic is sound:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is more to their life (now, as well as in the future) than their GPA and their sexuality.  What kind of plumbing you like on your sexual partners and what you do for a living are &lt;em&gt;important&lt;/em&gt; things, in certain circumstances, but there is so much more to life (and to people) than that.  There can be overlap, for instance, between work and hobby, and that's fine, but LOTS of people don't really get to have that, and even if your job isn't a never-ending fountain of personal fulfillment, it's still more than possible to have an awesome life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I guess my 'take away' here is that they need help finding other things to focus their energy on.  Hobbies, low-pressure social interactions, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend to take the stance that long-term happiness is the real goal, and work, grades, relationships, and even short-term happiness are just different tools to try and make it happen.  They can all be important tools (and this varies by person, as well) but none of them are really that important on their own, and they're only worth anything insofar as they get you closer to that long term happiness.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16068" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T19:09:31.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19967" CreationDate="2015-05-07T19:33:00.113" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You covered a bit of preparation when you mentioned using cut-outs. This will help shorten the process to keep the toddler engaged through most/all of the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thought that comes to mind as far as materials to use or avoid using would be to use a glue stick in place of liquid glue. This will help minimize the mess (I like the glue in a dish, but could be easily knocked over). I'm not sure how well the macaroni will adhere with stick versus liquid glue, but that's a consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; use ANY noodle. Ziti works well for longer straight-line needs I'd say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidsactivitiesblog.com/10346/macaroni-art&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; site offers some ideas for craft projects. It uses food coloring and vinegar to &quot;dye&quot; the noodles. Requires about 30 minutes of prep (including dry time). (Edited dry time, my mistake)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recipe:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;2 teaspoons white vinegar&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10-12 drops of food coloring&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;½ cup any shaped pasta (rotelle/wheels, elbows, ditalini, ziti, spirals, etc.) -- See, &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; noodle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Directions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mix vinegar and food coloring in a measuring cup.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pour into ziploc baggie&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Add pasta and seal the bag&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shake vigorously (fun for the kiddo!) Whatever it takes to coat the noodles&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once the noodles are covered, let the color set in for about 5 minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drain baggie, empty noodles onto a paper towel&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let dry for 15 minutes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turn noodles, and let them continue to dry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The site also has notes from the OP's experience as well. Amount of food coloring needed, tips on making different colors, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only macaroni project I can remember from Kindergarten was doing an alligator. Macaroni for the scales on the cut-out, then we glued a clothes pin where the mouth was so the 'gator could actually &quot;bite&quot; you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pinterest is another good source for ideas if you're really strapped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-05-07T19:47:06.050" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T19:47:06.050" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19970" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-07T19:40:49.900" Score="3" ViewCount="145" Body="&lt;p&gt;While similar to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3989/how-do-i-prepare-my-preschooler-for-a-move&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;, I would like to know how to help ease my 6 year old into a move out of state. We are going to be moving in the next couple of months, about 500 miles away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We brought her with us to look at some houses the first time around. She was a trooper (6 houses and about 3 hours) and loved the ones that had &quot;stuff&quot; still in the bedrooms, claiming her room in each house :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all paid a visit to the school she would be attending as well. She did very well there also. Had a great time with the soon-to-be first grade teacher and interacted well with other students.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm mostly concerned with her leaving her friends &lt;em&gt;here&lt;/em&gt; before we go. Her birthday falls about 3 weeks before we plan to move. That will basically be her going away party as well. The next door neighboor who has a little girl that is one year older that we're going to be leaving as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The area we are looking to move to is also pretty secluded (mountain town, lots of hills and trees). Our closest neighbor will be within walking distance, but not in plain sight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything we can do to help ease the process? What steps can I take to help her make new friends once we move?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T20:16:22.173" Title="How can I help my kids prepare for a long-distance move?" Tags="|primary-schooler|moving|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19937" CreationDate="2015-05-07T19:57:08.640" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What can I do to as to getting him not to act this way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the other answers address this fairly well. You're having an issue transitioning your little one to a new sleeping arrangement. That is an incredibly common issue. Sleeping location changes are a big deal for infants and toddlers. That's why there are so many &quot;methods&quot; out there for dealing with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rest assured, this happens often, to &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt; (if not most) parents. The biggest key here, with whatever method you choose, is going to be &lt;em&gt;consistency&lt;/em&gt;. Make a plan with your husband on how to handle this, preferably using a method you've carefully evaluated and clearly understand, and &lt;em&gt;stick with it&lt;/em&gt;. Your child will not likely make it easy for you, so you have to be prepared for him to cry, fuss, throw tantrums, maybe even scream. Hopefully, the method (no-cry, Ferber, whatever) you choose already addresses these possibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it to early to be telling him no and teaching him at this age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absolutely not. We were telling my son (now 2), &quot;No&quot; pretty much from the get-go. The first word he spoke on purpose was, in fact, &quot;No&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's a &lt;em&gt;great&lt;/em&gt; word to teach your child. It's something they don't like to hear, but it's sometimes necessary. When he would grab plug-in wires, pull hair too hard, bite, try pulling themselves up on unstable objects. There are a lot of things you don't want a somewhat-mobile little one to be doing, for their safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your tone can impart some meaning in this. If it's more urgent and sudden, it might trigger your child's &quot;danger&quot; response, and cause them to stop more quickly. If it's loud, stern or angry may cause fear, anger, or frustration. If it's too gentle and not commanding, it might simply be ignored. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be hard to separate whether your son is responding to the way the word is being delivered or the word itself. So, trying some softer tones and see if the problem persists. I do have a feeling that your 6-month-old understands the meaning behind, &quot;No&quot;, and it's simply not what he wants to hear. His reaction is probably, in my opinion, his way of expressing frustration with not getting what he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also alternatives to saying, &quot;No&quot;, so directly. This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/tips/discipline-without-saying-no/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parents.com article&lt;/a&gt; list a few. Based on that advice, I would try wording like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Your swing is for swinging. Your bed is for sleeping.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being so little, your child won't pick up on the meaning of this phrasing right away. But, eventually he should associate the words &quot;bed is for sleeping&quot; with the act of going to his bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T19:57:08.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19972" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="19977" CreationDate="2015-05-07T20:23:07.993" Score="5" ViewCount="5204" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always read about if adults should pay rent to their parents. For example, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/220/should-adults-pay-rent-if-they-live-in-their-parents-home?rq=1&quot;&gt;in this question&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also know that it's not easy to give one specific answer, there are even cultural matters involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But... and what about the opposite? Should an adult, who has a job, isn't going through any hard time, pay rent to his child, if the child is also an adult, has a house, and so on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And this is not just curiosity, it's a plan that... a friend of mine... is considering, since one of his parents are giving signals that this might happen in a near future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T06:25:18.870" Title="Should an adult pay rent to his child?" Tags="|adult-child|money|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-05-08T18:10:59.340" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19908" CreationDate="2015-05-07T20:31:59.293" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son exhibited similar behaviors around the same age. I think similar questions on this site show that many parents have this problem, so you're definitely not alone here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, knowing other people have the same problem doesn't make this any less frustrating!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife found it slightly annoying, being followed or cried after whenever she moved around. &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; was probably more frustrated by the fact that my son was interested in &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; once my wife left the room. So, this situation can be emotionally difficult for both parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What got us through this was just understanding that it's a common phase, and eventually he'd grow out of it. Part of it was likely due to me already being gone from work and school so much that my wife was almost &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also not unusual that they behave differently at day care, because it's a completely different environment for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/attachment-parenting/independent-toddler&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This Ask Dr. Sears article&lt;/a&gt; addresses how to raise an independent toddler, and I think some of the solutions here may be useful for you. And, it sounds like you're already doing some of the things it mentions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keeping a toddler posted on your absence&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Substituting voice contact&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would try some more, and keep up with these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reference, my wife and I still keep my son posted on what we're doing, and talk to him even when he's acting out about us being gone. The most notable example of this is when we're using the bathroom. Both of us tend to tell him that we're going potty. This helps him learn that such absences (potty) are short, we can still talk through the door, and (we hope) it may help facilitate future potty-training. We also tell him whenever one of us is leaving, such as &quot;Papa is going to his room.&quot; or &quot;Papa is going to work.&quot; or &quot;Mama is taking out the garbage and she'll be right back.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, it did also help when there were some times when it was just me and my boy, and my wife was out on her own. He would sometimes fuss for awhile because she wasn't there, but eventually he realized that &quot;Mama is gone&quot; time pretty much meant &quot;Papa is playing&quot; time, and her absences began to indicate fun instead of stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T20:31:59.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19937" CreationDate="2015-05-07T20:34:05.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What can I do to as to getting him not to act this way?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a response to the specific situation, there is nothing you can do to make him not act that way. Not any more than someone can make you not be afraid of gun being pointed in your direction, or make you not be sad when a loved one dies. He's displaying a natural, emotional reaction to a situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do, however, is adjust the situation so that it is less emotionally stimulating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The blog &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.troublesometots.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.troublesometots.com&lt;/a&gt; was extremely useful for me when my daughter was that age. The author actually advocates for the use of the swing in the early months. However, when it is time to wean from it, she recommends a slow process. First you use the swing at a lower speed. Then even lower. Then to the point where they are in the swing, but it is not moving. Then the swing moves closer and closer to the crib, until the night you finally move baby directly into the crib at bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a good practice for most changes when involving children, actually. Look at where you are, where you want to be, and find some incremental steps you can take to get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it to early to be telling him no and teaching him at this age?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the sense that it will be harmful, no. In the sense that it will actually work, yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16070" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T20:34:05.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19972" CreationDate="2015-05-07T20:55:00.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer for both of situations (parent with child, child with parent), is likely to be the same. Although, I would give more leeway to a person attending some form of college or vocational training, regardless if that was a traditional student or a returning-ed adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is any moral obligation for the parent to pay rent to their child. I also don't think the child has reasonable cause to just outright declare a rent value and expect the displaced parent to pay it. (Since I don't think there's specific moral ground for the child to charge rent, I would say it's immoral to do so.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will concede that there are &lt;em&gt;certain&lt;/em&gt; costs that may go up, on account of having additional household members, that can reasonably and morally be expected to be paid for. For instance:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The increase to utilities, if any&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The increase to food costs, if any&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parent may be buying their own food anyway, especially if diets and tastes differ. As for as utility increases, I would suggest some method of payment, by money, goods, or services, to only be to cover the changes directly attributable to the extra person. For instance, if the water bill goes up $20 a month because of an extra person taking showers and doing laundry, it's reasonable to request some fair payment for this. This is because you want to avoid a situation where the parent feels like a financial burden on the child. As you'll see below, financial stress can be harmful to relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; moral interpretation aside, I think I can construct some solid, logical reasoning for now charging the parent rent:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Living with your parents is already stressful, and adding finances to the situation will make it worse. Finances are often touted as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cnbc.com/id/102397425&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;biggest source of stress for couples&lt;/a&gt;, and that stress can exist in any family relationship that incorporates money. Avoid finance issue to avoid stress for everyone. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you're not already charging someone else for rent and have to displace them, you're not losing money, just space. Since it's not a monetary issue, don't make it one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A parent will usually move in with a child when they don't currently have any other options. They may need to acquire a sizable savings in order to get back on their feet. Taking money away from their ability to save could prolong their stay.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unless you're already a landlord familiar with the rental housing market, you won't have an idea for what's a fair market rate for a room-renting situation. So, your price may feel &lt;em&gt;arbitrary&lt;/em&gt; and cause contention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Charging someone for rent may have legal repercussions, depending on your local laws. Specifically, it may mean your parent gets renter’s rights and obligations, and you get landlord rights and obligations. This could complicate matters later if something sours with the relationship, or something with the living situation becomes unbearable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having this additional source of income may affect your taxes, and/or any income-based benefits you receive and/or income-based fees you pay. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your parent is coming to you for help. Charging them, even if they're willing to pay, may adversely affect your relationship with them outside of general money-related stress. You may be working against the mindset (verbalized or not) that the parent spent untold thousands of dollars and hours to bring you up, and they're just looking to you for shelter and comfort. You may not agree with such emotions or reasoning, but they can't be discarded as a possible factor in the parent's view of the situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, I would say that the child should morally and logically &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; charge his parent for rent, in general.&lt;/strong&gt; However, recouping certain expenses that would not normally be incurred is perfectly reasonable in order to avoid financial stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If some sort of repayment for these incidental costs is going to be requested, then the expectations need to be calmly and &lt;em&gt;clearly&lt;/em&gt; laid out well in advance. Both parties need to be on the same page regarding the flow of payment here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally wouldn't recommend a direct-billing approach, in the &quot;you owe &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; much&quot; vein. Instead, I would find other ways where the parent can pitch in with the household needs that has a value that approximates the new costs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As @Erica suggested in the comments, pitching in for groceries is one good way to accomplish this. Putting gas in your car (if you have one, and they borrow it), is another example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Non-monetary exchanges, such as doing household work, are also a solution. However, the level of work shouldn't exceed the value of the costs. Again, this is to avoid generating conflict. In this case, you don't want the parent to feel obligated to perform excessive work, feel undervalued, or feel like an indentured servant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would add a line of caution regarding forgiving payments or gifting money/shelter. This should &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; be done with no strings attached. If in the moment you don't want repayment, then that needs to be final. It shouldn't be brought up later, as in &quot;I let you stay for free for [x] months!&quot;. It should be considered a gift forever and always.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the situation changes and you feel you do need to start receiving some money to cover your increased expenses, it should be only for that moment forward. There should be no back-log of expected payments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T02:33:40.150" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T02:33:40.150" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19972" CreationDate="2015-05-07T21:53:24.713" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on your point of view.  Were I the parent, I would offer to pay rent.  Were I the child, I would decline the offer.  In any case, I would advise both parties not to become dependent on the financial arrangement, if at all possible, even non-fiscal benefits like babysitting or housework.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you pay rent, don't make it so high or deplete your retirement so much that you can't afford to move into a comparable situation elsewhere.  If you receive rent, try to put it toward capital improvements, save it for your kids' educations, or use it for one-time costs like vacations, rather than depending on it for day to day expenses.  Don't take a job you can only afford if the grandparent provides day care.  Either of you should feel free to back out at any time when circumstances change, without feeling like it is causing financial harm to the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My grandmother got into this situation with my aunt and uncle.  She depleted her savings considerably in order to add on a separate apartment at their house.  I'm not privy to all the details, but she only lived there a short time before they sold the house to buy a bigger one, and there was a large disagreement over recouping the cost of her investment, since it did not add much to the equity.  That rift lasted some 15 years until she died.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's why I say treat any money exchanged as lost, or else be prepared to lose a relationship over it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-05-07T21:53:24.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19979" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-07T23:22:08.450" Score="0" ViewCount="490" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought what I thought were the best quality prenatal vitamins. They are $100 a bottle and manufactured by Bayer pharmaceuticals in Germany. However, I was shocked by the list of excipients:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Each tablet contains macrogol, glycerol distearate, gelatin, cellulose, sodium starch glycollate,povidone, lactose, mannitol, magnesium stearate, ethylcellulose, hypromellose, talc, titanium dioxide, iron oxide yellow.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all of these are bad, for example gelatin, cellulose, lactose, etc.  But I'm worried about the others...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm thinking that I might use a nutritional tracking program to ensure that I'm getting the pregnancy RDI of B12, Iron, folate,iodine and calcium from my diet. The other nutrients are quite easy to obtain from a healthy diet &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm in the second trimester 24 weeks to be precise &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16075" LastEditorUserId="16075" LastEditDate="2015-05-07T23:28:36.783" LastActivityDate="2016-12-23T21:39:43.453" Title="Should I stop taking my prenatal vitamins?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="10" ClosedDate="2016-12-29T13:49:02.560" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19979" CreationDate="2015-05-08T00:06:23.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;1) Do you have any clinical evidence that the fillers in the vitamins are dangerous in those amounts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) You are correct that the clinical evidence showing benefits to vitamin supplementation in healthy people is minimal at best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) However, folic acid for pregnant people is a major exception, clinical evidence shows a major drop in neural tube malformations when women get high levels of folic acid in the early weeks, and its possible that this level is very hard to get through diet alone.  If you know you are pregnant already, the critical window for that has likely closed, but if you are still trying, you should stick with folic acid supplementation, if nothing else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4160020/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4160020/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Overall, the results are consistent in showing a protective effect of&#xA;  daily folic acid supplementation (alone or in combination with other&#xA;  vitamins and minerals) in preventing NTDs compared with no&#xA;  interventions/placebo or vitamins and minerals without folic acid&#xA;  (risk ratio (RR) 0.28, 95% confidence interval (CI) 0.15 to 0.52).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T00:06:23.520" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19979" CreationDate="2015-05-08T00:23:20.400" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Excipients are not bad; they are necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea of going off prenatal vitamins because of excipients seems a bit  like throwing the baby out with the bath water. There are definite risks to the baby which are ameliorated by supplementation. Folic acid is a water-soluble vitamin (you can't store it up) and it's unlikely you'll get the amount recommended for pregnant women every day by healthy eating. The same goes for the other supplements - not to address each one individually - but there is a reason for supplementation in pregnancy: the need is greater and the likelihood of your diet providing all those micronutrients is low.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In earlier days, excipients were considered inactive ingredients. However, they frequently have significant impact on the quality and efficacy of a drug (or vitamin supplement) in terms of dosages of a product. They modulate solubility, bioavailability, and stability of the drug, they maintain proper pH, act as antioxidants, binders, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...doctors don't care about the side effects of drugs. He probably thinks that the benefit outweighs the risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, of course doctors care deeply about the side effects of drugs. I'm unsure why you would think otherwise. That is the reason - in its entirety - that there even &lt;em&gt;exists&lt;/em&gt; a risk to benefit ratio.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's true that the risk for neural tube defects may have passed, there are other reasons for continuing the supplement. And in pregnancy, the risk of not getting the micromutrients you need is greater than in the non-pregnant state, and they affect &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; people, of course, one of them growing and developing still.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned about any of the agents in your vitamin formulation, you can Google them individually to look at their safety profiles. I think this is a better alternative to deciding based on guessing what may or may not be harmful to you and your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...a nutritional tracking program to ensure that I'm getting the pregnancy RDI of B12, Iron, folate, iodine and calcium from my diet...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because they are not considered drugs or pharmaceuticals, &lt;em&gt;excipients in food products&lt;/em&gt; are often not listed. You may well be ingesting the same things unless you are eating only fresh fruits, vegetables/leafy greens, and freshly butchered meats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://adiyugatama.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/excipient-development-for-pharmaceutical-dosage-forms.pdf&quot;&gt;Excipient Development for Pharmaceutical, Biotechnology, and Drug Delivery Systems&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T00:45:10.787" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T00:45:10.787" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19983" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-08T03:23:35.817" Score="0" ViewCount="128" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2, going on three. He's doing really well during the day for potty training. He tells me when he needs to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I do this with him at night? Diapers are too small. He's in a six for diapers at night, and pulls-ups are more expensive then diapers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a first time mother and this is all new to me. I need help, please!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16078" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T04:08:54.787" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T05:47:05.250" Title="potty training at night" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-05-11T08:59:54.120" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19929" CreationDate="2015-05-08T04:30:01.377" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When should I teach my toddler the ABCs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age 3 is a great age to start, in the context of picture book reading together, to start developing some familiarity with letters and sounds.  As long as it's not a chore, but is incorporated into fun reading, it's fine.  This way the child gradually absorbs the letters while having fun with story books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that is why there are such large quantities of picture books that are alphabet books!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T04:33:22.770" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T04:33:22.770" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19970" CreationDate="2015-05-08T04:49:08.390" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Taking the long view, I think the key is to get mementos.  Photographs (group and individual), perhaps even a video.  The teacher can provide a large piece of paper and let each student in her class write/draw something -- even if it's just the child's name.  This can go on the wall in her new room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A year, two, or three from now, you want her to be able to look back on those first six years and still feel connected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you probably weren't asking for the long view -- but my perspective is that of looking back on my first child's big move when he was just turning five.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What steps can I take to help her make new friends once we move?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a student directory from last year, with names and phone numbers, it would be great if you could get a copy.  Also, could you ask the classroom teacher to take a group photograph and then write all the first names, in order?  That will help in two ways -- first, it will help your daughter learn who's who quicker; and second, it will make it easier for you to have conversations with her about her classmates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have time, it would also be good to volunteer in the school.  That will help you figure out one or two children to invite for a play date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T04:49:08.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19957" CreationDate="2015-05-08T04:57:34.990" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would ask for a parent teacher conference, and explain to the teacher how your child feels.  Perhaps a compromise would be possible.  Could you brainstorm with your student (your daughter, if I understood right) to find out the names of a few students she feels she could partner well with?  On the one hand, we want her to be comfortable; on the other hand we don't want her to be &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; comfortable and want to do a lot of chatting!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a talkative son, and he pairs best with a student who is serious about schoolwork, and very quiet; but who is friendly during breaks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T04:57:34.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19473" CreationDate="2015-05-08T05:07:03.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ericka, thanks for your question.  I am a father of four, with three boys: 7, 12, 15 years old.  I definitely see this separation anxiety as a real problem.  While &quot;normal&quot; can be hard to define, if my 7 year old did this to me, I would certainly want counsel myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What kind of relationship does he have with his Dad?  Was there recently a traumatic event that may've lead to these separation anxiety/tantrums?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you can encourage Dad to plan some time in advance with his son, then let his son antcipate the next time together.  It could be that he feels insecure because of something that happened recently or even a nightmare or dream about Dad.  Providing more &quot;normal&quot; time together will heal this in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16079" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T05:07:03.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19983" CreationDate="2015-05-08T05:47:05.250" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might be able to economize by getting the child up to use the potty once or twice during the night, and then re-use the pull-up the next night if it is dry in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The related question anongoodnurse found has some great stuff in it.  Definitely review that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's an alarm you can buy that makes a terrible racket when the first couple of drops of pee come out.  But your child is much too young now to use this to learn to wake up enough to get up to pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T05:47:05.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19972" CreationDate="2015-05-08T05:52:29.107" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;By NO means is someone supposed to &quot;charge&quot; their parent rent. The parent showed a lifetime of devotion to raise the child into an adult and at least took care of them for 20 years. Its absolutely unethical to be so cold as to even think about charging your parent for anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for their part, parents know this and should not take advantage of their adult children, nor put guilt trips on their children whom they raised remembering that they themselves have been raised by their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16080" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T05:52:29.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19972" CreationDate="2015-05-08T06:25:18.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple points of perspective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've always believed that moral obligation goes &lt;strong&gt;from&lt;/strong&gt; parents &lt;strong&gt;to&lt;/strong&gt; offspring. Any obligation perceived by offspring in the opposite direction comes out of the feelings of the offspring. Circumstances of need clearly can affect feelings at any time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children don't ask to be born. They have zero say in their birth situation, so they can have no direct responsibility for it. (Yeah, I know there's a strong degree of a kind of emotional coldness in that; I'll leave that for a different question. This is more from a concrete perspective rather than from very real emotional bonds that may form.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then, basic principles of inheritance point to a concept that indicates that it makes little sense for offspring to hand assets (cash) into the (temporary) holding of parents. The eventual sum total goes to offspring anyway. OTOH, for parents to hand it to offspring early is little more than acknowledgement of the (mostly) inevitable future. Factors such as annual tax accounting for 'income' vs. 'gifts' might affect how the transfers are done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, wills might drastically change how inheritance happens; but the specific changes should fairly clearly illuminate the relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, parents 'owe' their children everything; and children 'owe' parents nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot can be added to flesh this out. It doesn't mean that parents should act as slaves nor that they should grant every wish. A big part of what a parent 'owes' (after basic survival) is the obligation to teach offspring how to succeed in life. This implies moderation in many things, so an unending flow of gifts and goodies actually contradicts the fundamental principle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a family value such as parental obligation (among others) is taught to children, it has to include regular mention of limits and moderation. A child needs to learn that parents need to teach good lessons. When imparting such lessons, a part of it should include some way of saying &quot;We &lt;strong&gt;need&lt;/strong&gt; to do this because we love you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it's successful, grown offspring have a well cultured appreciation of their parents. Possible problems such as if/when to pay rent in either direction seem to work themselves out naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7361" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T06:25:18.870" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19993" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-08T10:21:41.373" Score="9" ViewCount="1190" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can a parent get help with the expense of a child? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how I, as a single parent, am going to be able to cope when the child is born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am Irish and from Dublin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16082" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T11:48:19.110" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T00:33:06.497" Title="How can a parent get help with the expense of a child?" Tags="|single-parent|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19929" CreationDate="2015-05-08T10:34:35.633" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At age of three we started singing the ABC song.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We look at name tags (on clothes, toys etc.) to identify if something belongs to her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can identify and also draw an A (her name starts with A).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We teach numbers in elevators so she presses the button for the right floor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T10:34:35.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19993" CreationDate="2015-05-08T11:47:02.130" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can seem very overwhelming, but with help from public services and by adjusting your expectations about having the new fancy gadgets that are on the &quot;must have&quot; lists, you can definitely budget for baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;First, find out about public services available for free&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Vaccines are given for free at clinics: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/health/children_s_health/immunisations_for_children.html&quot;&gt;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/health/children_s_health/immunisations_for_children.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child-care options with subsidies:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/education/pre_school_education_and_childcare/your_childcare_options.html&quot;&gt;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/education/pre_school_education_and_childcare/your_childcare_options.html&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Second, adjust your expectations: babies don't have to be as expensive as you think.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At first, newborns just need some clothes and a place to sleep. The connection with mom is more important than any &lt;em&gt;thing&lt;/em&gt; you could buy for them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Babies only use clothes for a short amount of time (~3 months) before they grow out of them, so don't invest in new clothes, especially fancy new clothes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find your local second-hand store&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get in touch with a mum's group on facebook. They often have a board where mums post photos gently-used things to give away or sell - especially gear, like baby monitors, changing tables etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Plan to breastfeed if you can, to avoid paying for formula (and as a bonus, it's good for your baby)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Buy cloth nappies, a one-time investment of 200 EUR (much less if you buy them used!) can have you set for the next two-three years, rather than buying 10 EUR of diapers each week&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T11:47:02.130" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19993" CreationDate="2015-05-08T11:54:53.227" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/payments_to_families_and_children.html&quot;&gt;Here's a summary of social welfare payments available to support families and specifically children, in Ireland.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ones which sound as though they might be relevant to you are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/child_benefit.html&quot;&gt;Child Benefit&lt;/a&gt;: €135 per month for each child from January 2015&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/maternity_benefit.html&quot;&gt;Maternity Benefit&lt;/a&gt;: from 6 January 2014 a standard rate of €230.00 per week is paid.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/one_parent_family_payment.html&quot;&gt;One-Parent Family Payment&lt;/a&gt;: €188 / week &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See also: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/family_income_supplement.html&quot;&gt;Family Income Supplement&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/contact_us.html&quot;&gt;Citizens' Information Service&lt;/a&gt; on 0761 07 9000 for help in claiming. If you want to go into their office and talk to someone in person, there's &lt;a href=&quot;http://centres.citizensinformation.ie/county.php?county=dublin&quot;&gt;a number of centres in the Dublin area you can visit&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T12:55:44.560" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T12:55:44.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-08T14:52:47.680" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Especially with art museums, you can easily construct games that will make things more interesting. For example, keep a running tally of the appearances of Baby Jesus and Baby John the Baptist--counting is fun, and babies are fun. And then when your kid is old they'll realize you sneakily taught them how to recognize the art historical customs for representing Jesus and John the Baptist. Scavenger hunt-style games are good in general, and easily modified for different museums and different ages--can you find three things from another country? Ten stripy things? How many airplanes can you find with wings on the top and bottom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was little we had board books from the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, one for colors and one for counting. They were more fun to look at than other similar books, and then when I saw Renoir's Girl with a Watering Can later, I thought, &quot;OH MY GOSH! It's One: One Watering Can from that book!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16086" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T14:52:47.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19998" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20009" CreationDate="2015-05-08T17:02:00.390" Score="31" ViewCount="7968" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife has a baby shower coming up in a month or so and we are not religious, but both of our extended families are Christian.  We've seen other members of her family receive religious items, like crosses to put over a crib, at their baby showers and we want to avoid that since it would be wasted money. We don't try to hide the fact that we are atheists, but not everyone knows that we are because it's not something that comes up in conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we say anything on the shower invitations or registry about this?  I was thinking something along the lines of &quot;we are atheists and are not planning on raising the child with religion, please respect that&quot; but I don't know if some people would find that offensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16088" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-05-08T17:24:58.290" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T21:20:20.427" Title="How can I tactfully ask that people refrain from giving religious items at a baby shower?" Tags="|pregnancy|religion|presents|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="19999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-08T17:09:18.177" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm intrigued by Erica's challenge to list reasons why museums can be a bad idea for kids. We'll need to assume the average museum here, not a children's museum, a science museum (bring 'em on!), or a museum with programs for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids kind of need to be in strollers or arms, unless you want dirty looks. In strollers, from their vantage point, they must almost always look up, which tires their necks. They will see a lot of people's derrieres. Not very exciting. In a back carrier (our method), &lt;em&gt;Your&lt;/em&gt; back and neck will get tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Subjects of historical paintings can be gruesome. Mommy, why are so many arrows are stuck into that man? Why is that man holding a man's head on a plate? Is that lady going to eat it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/4lAvr.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;3&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids say the darndest things. And loudly, too. Mommy, does that lady have a penis or a vagina? Mommy, that lady's sabas are bigger/smaller than yours. Why is that clock melting? What is that swan doing to that lady?  Why is that man killing a &lt;em&gt;dragon!!!&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Most young children can only take two hours or less in a museum. Then they lose it and it’s not pretty. If looks could kill, you'd be dead a few times over before you reach the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;While kids get in free, adults don't usually. That's a decent bit of change for only an hour of gazing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids get hungry. Museum cafeterias don't have good food, and what they have is pricey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids learn by playing and exploring. It's hard to do that in a museum. There was an incident at the Tate Modern where parents let their child &lt;a href=&quot;http://hyperallergic.com/105448/what-not-to-do-with-kids-in-a-museum/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;climb onto a $10 million Donald Judd sculpture and use it as a bunk bed&lt;/a&gt;. That can be embarrassing as well as potentially costly. (Granted it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; look like the appropriate way to explore that particular sculpture.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Museums ask that you keep an eye on your children at all times. That makes it hard to look at anything else. It's also hard on your back and your neck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children are quite likely to learn that adults don't like them. Parents are quite likely to get a lot of rigidly polite parenting advice. From people who look like they can't possibly have raised children without nannies and boarding schools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The museum store is heaven to the tired child and hell for the parents who are chasing the kids and pulling expensive stuff out of their hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There, I did my best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;We took our kids to museums all the time. They've been to museums in New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington, Seattle, Vancouver, London, and Dublin among many other cities. Most of it they can't remember. But I remember all of it!&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T17:09:18.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-08T17:24:17.910" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you can really tactfully put it on the invitation.  In fact, many would say the invitation shouldn't refer to gifts at all.  Registries are quite often communicated by family members and not the invitation - although I find that silly, personally, and certainly would add it to mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, what I would typically do is ask your parents or someone you're reasonably close with who also has connections across the extended family to remind people on your behalf.  In some cases it may not work, but you do your best.  What we did was ask our friend (who was the organizer - see below) to let people know about our registry and ask that items please come off that or be handmade, as we had a small space and couldn't fit extra items.  That works nicely both to remind people to not go off-list in general, and allows you to limit the religious gifts to some extent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does vary by the way if the shower is being held by someone else on your behalf (which is at least in my experience more common).  That person is free to mention gifts, and can tactfully include on the invitation &quot;X and Y are registered at BabyStoreCentralMart.Com, and we ask that any gifts be selected from that list to ensure they have room for everything.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, I would be prepared for the fact that not everyone will listen, and just be okay with either discarding, returning, or regifting items that you're given that are not appropriate - for this or other reasons.  That's part of life as a parent unfortunately; people will constantly give your kids stuff that you don't particularly want.  Accepting with a smile and moving on is a learned skill, and a useful one!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T17:24:17.910" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-08T17:25:21.020" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally don't think it's polite to invite people to a celebration while telling them how they should and shouldn't gift you. While I am not an atheist, I would still be somewhat taken aback by that kind of announcement on an invitation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The gifts at celebrations are certainly appreciated, and baby showers in particular are supposed to be oriented towards what the baby needs. If you want to give your parents a list of what you &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; for your baby, that would be fine; leave crosses, religious art, etc. off the list. People often ask parents of adult children what the expecting parents need. Same thing applies if you have a registry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone insists on pushing their religion on you through a baby gift, be polite, thank them, then quietly try to find out where they bought it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T17:25:21.020" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19954" CreationDate="2015-05-08T17:43:57.537" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parenthood is always a balancing act, and I don't believe one needs to give up all adult activities while parenting for fear that the child will be put upon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being flexible is an important life lesson, and you should go ahead and enjoy your vacation(s), while giving your child the opportunity to learn a little flexibility (remember praise and rewards help here.). I agree that exposure to new sights, sounds, and stimuli is good for her. Your job as parents in this situation (I think) is to include some &quot;down&quot; times and days for your toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we traveled with toddlers, we usually stayed in hotels where we could come back for a midday nap; we also shopped at markets to feed the kids on time. Then when we ate out (usually as early as possible so that our kids weren't too disruptive), they weren't hangry (hungry + angry/irritable), and could enjoy desert while we had our meal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put off traveling to foreign countries until they were older, which I now regret. They still don't remember most of our foreign adventures; had I known they were going to forget, we would have done more for ourselves (they would just have had that much more to forget!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T17:43:57.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20003" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-08T18:11:57.787" Score="6" ViewCount="2617" Body="&lt;p&gt;Summary: I am looking for strategies and parenting best practices on how to boost self-confidence &amp;amp; reduce social anxieties in a 7+ yr old boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Context: We have a little boy who seems to be lacking in self-confidence. He's a single kid, bilingual, goes to a bilingual school. Both parents are bookish knowledge workers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Details: He's very worried at the prospect of having to &quot;perform&quot; in a social context. He cries when he thinks someone is making fun of him or tells him they're not his friend. His teachers say he has many friends, but he wasn't invited to a single birthday party this year. I have noticed that he's eager to quit on any activity that he finds difficult or where he feels his performance is sub par. Even more, he will do whatever he can to stall and not start doing a task (school work), both at home and at school. He has trouble focusing and likes to impress his little friends by being a goofball.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's doing reasonably well at school. He's not behind in any area (well, his penmanship is not the best...) and he's an exceptionally enthusiastic and rapid reader (read Harry Potter 5 in 8 days...). He also started programming on Scratch and I'm impressed at what he can do with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, I am trying to encourage him to take pride in his work, and I am starting a long term plan to help him develop some kind of expertise in a sport (gymnastics or BJJ) and a craft (musical instrument). My hope is that such an expertise would help him feel better about himself, maybe give him some &quot;bragging rights&quot; (even though we obviously discourage actual bragging). I'm also considering working on a game together, that we would program in Scratch. That could be a multi-week project, and I have a basic idea of what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for advice on any more / other / better ways. I also want to read whatever you can share on what not to do when he does something particularly good or bad (for his standards).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4859" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T05:21:47.237" Title="How to build self-confidence / reduce social anxiety in a 7+ yr old boy?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|anxiety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-08T18:14:50.533" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have a registry, I assume that you will simply not include religious items on it. If people mostly buy from the registry, problem solved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it would be rude to say you don't want a certain type of gift, whether that is religious or whatever. Like if you said, &quot;Please, no orange shirts, because I hate the color orange&quot;, I think that would be poor taste. ESPECIALLY if you're saying this because grandma just loves orange and is always buying orange sweaters for the grand kids. Doubly so if you say you don't want a category of gift that reflects on the culture, heritage or beliefs of others. For example, if the family of one member of a couple was, say, of Italian ancestry, to say &quot;No Italian-themed gifts&quot; would surely be potentially insulting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, I'd say that if someone gives you a gift that you have no use for, you thank them politely and then stuff it in a drawer or return it to the store or throw it out. My family and I have gotten lots of gifts over the years that we had no use for. No point making a big deal of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T13:11:29.350" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T13:11:29.350" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19954" CreationDate="2015-05-08T18:14:51.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, we have brought our kids to places like Mexico and France, and done sightseeing with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are not great at having a 'routine' at home (naps on weekends are usually at varying times), so we didn't have that much of an issue with that part, but I will share my experiences:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is far easier if you rent a car. If you are going from point a) to point b) the kids can nap in the car, and it gives you more freedom to sightsee. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Plan on sleeping close to your sights, so you can go back for a nap. We slept in 3 different towns in Yucatan in Mexico, so we could see different things without long trips. Most days we went back to hotel to nap, we had plenty of material for reading in the room or hotel garden while the kids slept (bring a portable baby monitor if you can).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider renting a place with a kitchen and cook dinners at home, if early mealtime is important.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider turning the kids 'local' In France, lots of kids dine out late with their parents. Just roll with it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sightseeing might be more fun that you think for the kids. Pick somewhere they can move! and not a museum, though. I am a huge fan of ancient ruins, and the steps in the Maya fortress of Tulum was exciting for our 2 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bring something so they can nap while you sightsee, if possible. Stroller, backpack/Ergo for kids and so forth. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you do make time for parks and playgrounds. Get some ice cream and relax. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Accept that some things you just cannot do. We were in Avignon during the theater festival, and while seeing street performers were a lot of fun, then actual plays we could not go to. Even the children's ones were (besides being in French) not targeted for children under 5. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Connecting with local parents can be fun! I was a great and unique experience chatting with some local parents on playgrounds in Mexico. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the it will be more difficult if your kid is VERY routine based - nap ALWAYS in crib, never on the go, mealtimes and bed times exactly at the same time every day... But if you are a person who can have a firm schedule every day like that, I am sure you can find a way to do schedule 'light' while travelling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't feel guilty over doing something fun for YOU while travelling. Compromise, but you are a person besides being a parent, and don't feel guilty for being that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T18:14:51.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-08T18:22:04.287" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At some magical time between toddler hood and being a young child, they will be ready. Take them a bit early to get in the habit of going to the museum so that when they cross the threshold, they'll be ready. But don't take them too early because it is a waste of their time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be wary of doing activities with prestige-- symphonies, reading prestige literature nominally aimed at kids, art museums-- if it is over their head, it is time wasted. A toddler only has so many waking hours, spend them on something he gets some developmental benefit from.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My toddler at the museum finds the elevators, ventilation grates to be most fascinating, so I get lots of cues that the experience is over his head, worse, he doesn't enjoy the crowds and I don't see any reason to hang out in crowds just to get used to hanging out in a mob of tourists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T18:22:04.287" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20007" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-08T18:33:09.663" Score="7" ViewCount="398" Body="&lt;p&gt;All, what would be some activities that are appropriate for a primary-schooler and have fast feedback loops to help a kid learn competency development, and ultimately self-confidence?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is an example of a fast-feedback loop activity (not really appropriate for a primary-schooler): in powerlifting, you experience linear gains for a fairly long time. So from the first week on, you can see clear improvements in your own performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a counter-example: in gymnastics, it takes a long time before being able to do anything other than very basic moves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4859" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T10:54:14.020" Title="Fast feedback loop activities for primary-schoolers?" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20003" CreationDate="2015-05-08T19:15:09.260" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading this, I could almost imagine my own father writing this for me. Now a disclaimer that I'm not a dr, and your son is probably nothing like me, but when I was in elementary school I too struggled with social anxieties (ok so I still do but I'm able to get around them more). I never felt comfortable in my own skin as it were. There were situations where I could see my friends were just fine, if not happy with handling, that just had my insides squirming. I didn't know how to make friends. I would talk to kids and they would seemingly act nice to me one day and then inexplicably turn on me the next. I was constantly made fun of and no one listened to me. A teacher I informed told me &quot;those girls are so nice to you they would never make fun of you.Stop lying about your friends&quot;. So relying upon an outside source as to how your son is treated may not work. The acting out is probably his way to &quot;make friends&quot;. Starting clubs or activities alone was almost impossible, even with things I loved such as sports, because of the gnawing fear and anxiety I felt over interacting with people. I would say I wanted to sign up but if a friend or parent weren't there to get me in the door the first meeting I would chicken out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what to do about your son? The first thing is to be patient. It will be frustrating and hard to understand at times, but in the long run you will be helping your son. It could be he just doesn't understand how to interact and read people or that he can read people, but doesn't have the wires set up to handle what he is reading. Either one can be causing the acting out in class, lack of confidence, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you talk to him it may help to setup a ground rule that he can say anything he wants to you and you will a. keep it in confidence and b. not hold it against him. Your talks with him are a neutral zone. Then follow through. Don't tell him his feelings of a certain situation is wrong, they are what he is feeling not you. Do try to give him ways to feel differently if needed or ways to handle how he is feeling. Don't tell him &quot;you are so much smarter than me/them/it/etc&quot; when trying to build up confidence, even if you truly feel that way it will undoubtedly make things worse. Do state how proud you are of x, y, z and why. Next time he acts out ask him why he felt he needed to. Be prepared for him to not know why, but talk to him about what he might have been feeling at the time. Was he board? Was someone egging him on? Was he anxious? He may not be able to articulate so you might have him draw what was going on or write it down as an epic story. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to find kids he likes and that seem to like him and invite them to join your son in activities he likes. I was much more successful in starting something if I had either a friend right there with me, for at least the first event, or my parent took me to something. Don't keep him in an activity he truly doesn't want to partake in, but if it's something he once enjoyed discuss what may have changed with him. Was it beyond his skills, is he afraid of not being good enough. Discuss with him (yea cliche's I know but very to the point) how nothing worth doing is easy and that practice makes perfect. Help him understand that things will be difficult but he can learn to cope with the hard stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him an outlet to cope. Anxiety can arise because of emotions we can't cope with yet are smothered. Introduce him to music, art, and sports. I found running as a coping mech, but he may be drawn to music or art.Even if he doesn't have formal lessons just drawing or &quot;playing&quot; an instrument can help him express what he doesn't know how to verbalize. When he is at home encourage him to express himself with his outlet if he's feeling nervous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end though, if things are bad, he and you may benefit from talking with someone trained to deal with anxiety disorders, particularly in children. If your pediatrician brushes you off, request a list of suggestions for a therapist  anyway. A therapist visit can be an expense, but they can let you know if your son would benefit from more trained assistance, or if it's a phase he can get around on his own. This isn't for drugs and I'm of the mind that they can in some cases make things worse, but to give you more tools to help your son. He may not have a fully recognizable disorder yet, but if he doesn't learn coping mechanisms he may get worse or it could very well be just an awkward child phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T19:15:09.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-08T19:26:00.007" Score="41" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the other answers suggested, it's very likely that whatever you put will come of as weird. Still, it's an honest and reasonable sentiment, so it's kind of frustrating that it can't be expressed as such. Here's my best effort (to be placed in relatively small print at the bottom of the invitation):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;Gifts are welcome, but not necessary. If you would like to buy  something, to avoid the gift going to waste, we would like to ask you to make sure that all gifts are baby-safe. Also, since we are not practicing Christians, we are unlikely to make use of any religious items.&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The language is a little stale, but I think it's a reasonable start. At the very least you want to avoid anything that comes off judgmental towards Christians; saying &quot;we're atheists&quot; is too blunt, it only matters what you're not. Also, I've started with a selfless message to soften the blow, and couched it in other language about what gifts are likely to be used. This way, it hopefully comes across as an afterthought: something you might as well put down, since you're mentioning gifts anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's probably better to risk insulting people by not using their religious gift than to risk insulting them up-front by telling them to keep it at home, but for what it's worth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16090" LastEditorUserId="16090" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T15:02:55.203" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T15:02:55.203" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-08T20:27:48.823" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Money to start the college fund is a simple gesture that crosses all of the boundaries and leaves everyone unoffended. Not to mention, it is always the perfect size, regardless of who and where it comes from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16093" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T20:27:48.823" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19967" CreationDate="2015-05-08T21:13:05.263" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no experience with macaroni-art specifically, but when I let my toddler do painting, I bought a huge (3x3m or so) sheet of plastic, put it in the middle of the room, stripped her down naked and then placed her in the middle of the plastic with a few brushes, open containers of paint and some canvases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the creativity session, you just remove the art, fold up and throw out the plastic and put the toddler in bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you assume beforehand that the child will make a huge mess, you can prepare for it and just let them go at it. It's much more freedom for them to explore the materials if you don't have to constantly keep them from trying to glue down the table or something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, it frees you up for taking pictures. This is possibly the most important part! I did the painting excercise for mother's day last year, and the picture of her making the artwork is still in the living room, even though the painting has been removed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Although this approach is not advised if you have a toddler that sticks everything in their mouths.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T21:13:05.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19967" CreationDate="2015-05-08T22:31:49.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For those who don't want to deal with the hassle of the glue mess, you can use Play-Doh and press the macaroni into it. Play-Doh air hardens and is suitably strong, but could be considered a little fragile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter's preschool uses an air hardening clay found at any art store. It seems to hold very well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until I'm confident my daughter won't destroy the house with glue, I will stick to the clay methods. Plus, they love making towers and cakes then embedding all kinds of things into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T22:31:49.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20015" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20020" CreationDate="2015-05-08T22:51:57.770" Score="5" ViewCount="4125" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok so my daughter goes to this new school, and  a lot of boys have crush on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I pick her up from the after school I see all these little boys trying to flirt with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm very open minded but She's only 6 going to kinder garden so I am a little worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do realize that I need to talk to her but my wife does not want me to do it recklessly because she says she likes how our daughter tells her everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I am not sure how to proceed? Can you give me some ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&#xA;I'm worried that things go to quick in a child life. She is very beautiful girl and I do not trust the kids out there, she keep mentioning this one boy name all the time, or even call people by his name by accident.It just does not feel right to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want my daughter to focus on schools not on who has crush on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16095" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-11-25T19:51:18.330" LastActivityDate="2021-08-15T01:19:07.567" Title="Boys have crush on my 6 year old daughter" Tags="|parents|communication|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-08T23:51:43.797" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Possibly something along the lines of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Gift are welcome, but not necessary. If you do wish to bring a gift, please consider something from our Baby Shower Registry or a contribution to the baby college fund.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16096" LastActivityDate="2015-05-08T23:51:43.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-09T03:52:47.187" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmm, if you have to have things for a baby, I would recommend a gift list for the baby, along with the following : &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Donations to baby college fund &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A donation to a hospital of gifts for newborns and moms in need.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All gift-givers can either get gifts from the gift list , or even donate to the fund, since the child would want to get to a good college one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16098" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-09T08:30:26.347" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T08:30:26.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20019" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20021" CreationDate="2015-05-09T04:00:23.197" Score="4" ViewCount="429" Body="&lt;p&gt;My grandmother, my 3.5 year old daughter's great-grandmother, is sadly very ill and could pass away at any time within the next few weeks. My daughter has yet to experience death (e.g. a pet dying) and does not yet understand this concept. My wife and I are reasonably clear about how we would explain death and grieving to our daughter and help her cope. My concern is that my extended family are religious, and indeed my grandmother is a central figure in her church community. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no conflict within my family; we all happy accept each other's beliefs and get along, however I am concerned that the different approaches to dealing with grief will confuse my daughter and make things worse for her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we cope with the inevitable talk about my grandmother having 'gone to heaven' during the eventual funeral and afterwards when will have explained things differently to my daughter? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is quite perceptive and intelligent and I'm sure this is something she will pick up on. She also thinks very literally and doesn't tend to cope with uncertainty so well; she wants to know the exact answer to questions. During this emotional time, I'm not sure how well she would cope trying to learn a complex theological history as well as dealing with the loss of our loved one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any advice or experience for navigating this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3063" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-09T08:18:27.320" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T08:18:27.320" Title="Explaining death and dealing with mourning for a pre-schooler in an atheist family with religious extended family?" Tags="|psychology|religion|extended-family|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20015" CreationDate="2015-05-09T04:38:19.610" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of the attention she's been attracting may subside when she's no longer a shiny new coin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are afraid she will be distracted from her schoolwork.  I can understand that fear.  It's okay to feel that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I would like to understand whether this has actually started to occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you can do is spend a few minutes chatting with one or two of the boys, and optionally, their parents, when you go to pick your daughter up.  As they become complete human beings to you, instead of just future vessels of testosterone, your fears may lessen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could you and your daughter try to identify one or two girls in her class that she would like to play with?  Then you could invite one for a play date at your house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestions are designed to help create a bit more gender balance in your daughter's relationships at her new school.  My personal philosophy is that a girl or a boy is first and foremost a person, and a child has the right to have a friendship with another child of either gender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I do understand your discomfort with your daughter being the light bulb and the boys flying constantly around her like moths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T04:38:19.610" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20019" CreationDate="2015-05-09T04:56:46.710" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would this work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;When a person is very old, and their body isn't working well any more, there comes a time when the body stops living, and then we say that the person has died.  But I believe that even though the person's body isn't with us any more, she lives on in our minds.  We think of her, and remember her.  And in that way, she is still with us, but without her body.  It's the idea of her that continues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Some people call this 'heaven'.  And they think of heaven as a high-up place where the idea of a person is after the body of the person has died.  For me, heaven is just that place in our minds where we remember the person we love who died.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As time goes on, you can refine this and add details, and point out some differences between what the religious family members do and think and believe, and your own approach.  Certainly, if she asks any questions during the next few weeks/months, you can answer them.  But I wouldn't stress the differences just now, because this is a time in her life when it will be a positive experience for her to feel close to her relatives.  That's what we want her to remember when she thinks back on this period.  The closeness.  Later, there will be plenty of time to share your respectful skepticism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember my first son's concept of death was based, for a long time, on a dead fish he saw floating in a park that he saw and asked me about when he was quite small.  But if your daughter hasn't experienced a dead animal, maybe you could pick out an example of a plant or flower that she's familiar with.  If it's a plant or flower that made a vivid impression on her, so that the image of it is still stored in her mind -- so much the better!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T04:56:46.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20003" CreationDate="2015-05-09T05:21:47.237" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fantastic answer by @scrappedcola.  A couple things to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can have &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; fun with Scratch and the like with your son, but in moderation.  Your son's lack of social integration could be accentuated with too much geekiness at this age.  At this stage he'll benefit from well-rounded hobbies.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Observe your child in school, and jot down some notes about any difficulties or awkwardness you pick up on.  These notes may be helpful in setting up what I'm about to describe.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask for social worker services at school to help your son work on his social skills.  Working on social skills is an area where school social workers generally excel.  Often a social worker will invite a small group of students to have lunch together in her office.  She'll be involved in the conversations and games, and can help your son notice certain things that will help him in his relationship building, and she can help ease his acceptance by the others.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It can be helpful to talk about some social anxiety of your own occasionally, so your child doesn't feel alone.  You'll be modeling what it looks like to feel some social anxiety, recognize it in yourself, but not let it stop you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T05:21:47.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-09T05:21:59.983" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The title of your post &quot;How can I...&quot; asks a slightly different question from the content, &quot;should we say...&quot;  I will answer the latter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a word, no.  You should not mention it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look at your fundamental motivation.  You want to avoid causing your friends and family to waste money.  That is an admirable desire, but how your extended family does or doesn't waste their money is not really your business.  In most cases, gift givers are satisfied that their gifts are accepted--they don't check up later to make sure they are being used.  You accepting the gift will make them happier than any small savings of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should graciously accept the gifts, and thank the givers.  &quot;It's the thought that counts.&quot;  They are giving these gifts in good faith (pun not intended), and you should receive them with that in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, because you are not religious, you can immediately dispose of them.  Depending on your personal outlook and your knowledge of your relatives, &quot;dispose&quot; might mean &quot;throw away,&quot; or &quot;donate,&quot; or even &quot;put in a box in the attic so they can take it back after they find out we don't want it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note: you also needn't throw out the proverbial baby with the bath water.  Your desire to not display overt religious symbols is reasonable, but something like a blanket with an image of the three wise men is a perfectly fine thing to have and use without overtly endorsing Christianity.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially, you should continue your existing strategy here.  You said you don't hide your atheism, but you don't put it in anyone's face, either.  &lt;strong&gt;Continue to do that.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16100" LastEditorUserId="16100" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T07:00:42.567" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T07:00:42.567" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20019" CreationDate="2015-05-09T06:30:30.373" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do we cope with the inevitable talk about my grandmother having 'gone to heaven' during the eventual funeral and afterwards when will have explained things differently to my daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would simply tell her the truth, and be prepared to tell her again and again, because she will ask/wonder about it again and again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth is that things die. This idea can be explored in books for preschoolers, or in biological death around you: plants, butterflies, even leaves in autumn. Tell her that some people think there is a place where the soul goes after the body dies. In Christianity, people believe there is a place where a person goes to be with God, where they are happy, called heaven. Explain your own beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She also thinks very literally and doesn't tend to cope with uncertainty so well; she wants to know the exact answer to questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is common for children this age. The usual preschooler's concept of death is that death isn't permanent. Explaining something that a child has no concept of (finality/permanence) is kind of almost exercise in futility, but which must be undertaken repeatedly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider not taking her to the funeral, but having a commemorative &quot;service&quot; at home. Counter euphemisms she might hear from relatives like, &quot;She has gone to sleep in the Lord,&quot; lest she fear going to sleep and waking up without you, or &quot;she went away&quot;. (Imagine the fear your leaving for work might engender!) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are books written for preschoolers on death. Look for them in your library. They can be very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are references below which might be helpful in helping you to understand what might be happening in her mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/How-Children-Understand-Death-What-You-Should-Say.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How Children Understand Death &amp;amp; What You Should Say&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aacap.org/aacap/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/Facts_for_Families_Pages/Children_And_Grief_08.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children And Grief&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?start=10&amp;amp;q=how+preschoolers+deal+with+death&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=0,39&amp;amp;as_ylo=2000&amp;amp;as_yhi=2015&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children and Grief&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://quod.lib.umich.edu/m/mfr/4919087.0001.107/--children-s-concepts-of-death?rgn=main;view=fulltext&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children's Understanding of Death&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hospicenet.org/html/understand.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children's Understanding of Death&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T06:30:30.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20015" CreationDate="2015-05-09T06:58:22.120" Score="25" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She is very beautiful girl and I do not trust the kids out there...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do you distrust a 6 year old boy? A 13 year old boy, certainly. But a 6 year old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you examine carefully your fears and test them against reality. A 6 year old boy is as innocent as a 6 year old girl. Of course, if she's especially pretty, both boys and girls will be attracted to her. There is no real reason (in my mind) to have a &quot;sit down&quot; with her. That will just transfer your (probably ill-founded) fears onto her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've raised a fine little girl. Trust her to play appropriately with boys as equally well as with girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crushes are a normal part of friendships at this age as well. They are well-intentioned and innocent. 5-6 year olds who like one another will talk of marriage, family, and the animals they want to have. One of my children at 5 wanted to get married to her best (opposite sex) friend with whom she had a wonderful relationship, and they agreed to raise chickens and foxes: foxes because they were cool, and chickens to feed them! (Surprised me, but, hey... I haven't been 5 for a long time.) They were closest of friends until about 13 years of age, when they actually started &lt;em&gt;noticing&lt;/em&gt; other kids of the opposite sex. Their friendship enriched both of their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Save your worries for when she is a bit older. In the meantime, teach &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; common sense rules of behavior and safety that every child should learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T06:58:22.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20028" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20032" CreationDate="2015-05-09T08:03:37.020" Score="4" ViewCount="510" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a 13-year-old guy and I have a 9-year-old sister. We've argued for as long as I can remember, we argue about 5 times per day. My mum and dad can't take it anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try my hardest to be nice to my sister, but she just refuses to co-operate with me. I admit that I am a control freak, but I try and do nice things for her like suggest stuff to do, try to spend time with her, but she just says stuff like go away or that's boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever something bad happens and I'm there she blames it on me. We were playing in the pool the other day and I tugged her arm gently to get her attention and she ended up cutting her finger and said that it was my fault and my parents don't believe me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm unhappy, I moved schools and had to go down a year, my classmates are so immature, I never see my old friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like running away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you all for your advice, it's really helped me and you don't know how much it means to me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16104" LastEditorUserId="16104" LastEditDate="2015-05-10T13:32:16.727" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T01:08:15.290" Title="I don't feel accepted at home" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19958" CreationDate="2015-05-09T10:30:46.780" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the most important devolopment of a toddler is his/her visual imagery.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even before they could speak, they could watch.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Museums having displays of various kinds are surely going to tickle their minds, arouse curiosity.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no harm in this at all. The more stuff they see, more things they understand in the longer run. Getting their minds run when they see something new is good and will help them in their development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So go ahead with the Toddler's Trip to The Museum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16106" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-09T12:23:38.627" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T12:23:38.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20028" CreationDate="2015-05-09T11:03:01.837" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I seem to remember a quote from The Art Of War (Sun Tzu) that went something like, &quot;The only way to win against an enemy you cannot defeat is to deny them battle.&quot;  That's from an old memory, so I ask the Sun Tzu faithful to grant me leeway in paraphrasing the quote.  If you can't win, then don't fight, don't even start fighting.  Recognize those situations that cause conflict and avoid them.  There's no way to avoid those situations 100% but even a reduction in the number of conflicts will go a long way to giving you and your parents some peace.  If it looks like it's about to go bad, and if you're able to, drop it and walk away.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't stand up for yourself or what's right, just choose your battles carefully.  They're not all worth fighting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14564" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T11:03:01.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20028" CreationDate="2015-05-09T11:11:07.243" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dealing with a sibling is tough, especially if you've got a long-established tradition of fighting. It's easy to interact poorly because you've been doing it your whole lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep calm.&lt;/strong&gt; It's hard to yell at somebody who doesn't yell back. It's hard to yell at somebody who puts up their hands and says, &quot;You know what, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to turn into an argument, I'll leave you alone.&quot; Apologize even if you're not in the wrong (not necessarily taking whatever perceived blame, but for the fact that there was a misunderstanding) and try to defuse the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Walk away&lt;/strong&gt; when things get bad, or if it looks like a conversation is going downhill. Once you start getting sucked into disputing who did what, it's never going to end well. This is &lt;em&gt;incredibly&lt;/em&gt; challenging for most people, including adults. You want to feel like you're right, and the other person therefore needs to admit that she's wrong, and if you just argue long enough surely that will happen. Unfortunately, she's approaching it the same way, and I bet your arguments just end up going in &quot;he-said she-said&quot; circles constantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially since you admit you're a control freak, &lt;strong&gt;be mindful of whether you're asking for input or subtly pushing your own preferences.&lt;/strong&gt; When you suggest stuff to do, are you saying &quot;What TV show do you want to watch&quot; (which invites input) or &quot;Do you want to watch Robot Super Blast with me&quot; (which tells her you've already decided on the activity).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to your parents.&lt;/strong&gt; You seem frustrated with a lot of different situations, not just your sister. Focus on feelings first, specifics only if you need to -- if it comes off as just blaming her for all your conflict, that isn't going to be well received. Feeling lonely and isolated from your recent move is very normal, and while they can't necessarily fix everything, bringing that to their attention may motivate them to arrange more time for you to see your old friends (or something). Also, they need to help act as mediators between you and your sister. You're still both kids, and any teenager is going to be annoyed and frustrated and unhappy and angry sometimes -- none of those are emotional states that make a younger sibling easier to deal with. Enlist their help in keeping the peace: if they see a conversation spiraling out of control, have them (calmly) separate you and let your tempers cool off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find somebody else to talk to.&lt;/strong&gt; Maybe there's something you don't want to tell your parents, or you want to just complain for a while how it's so unfair that they always take her side. Find somebody to talk to. A school counselor or therapist would be a good possibility because they are specifically trained (1) to listen, and (2) to help you learn coping mechanisms to get through frustrating situations. A favorite uncle or family friend is also a great resource, because they may be familiar with how you and your sister fight but removed enough that they can provide perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T11:11:07.243" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20033" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20034" CreationDate="2015-05-09T11:20:01.600" Score="11" ViewCount="4687" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got two kids, boy 3YO and a girl 5YO. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We find that on a weekend, when they play around the house for two hours (with parental involvement) they end up reasonably good natured (although somewhat chaotic - normal for kids). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they sit in front of a TV for two hours, they come away grumpy with tendency to bicker and talk back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get that tuning out is fun, and having to tune back is in work. The behaviour seems to be worse than that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;Why does 2 hours in front of the TV make my kids grumpy?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T14:04:24.170" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T14:04:24.170" Title="Why does 2 hours in front of the TV make my kids grumpy?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|television|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20033" CreationDate="2015-05-09T13:18:38.260" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;--- Disclaimer: Some might feel this answer to be hard to digest. ---&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you ever thought about what is happening in your kid's brains while they are watching TV?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I mean, from a neuroscientistic perspective? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically a fireworks of impressions &lt;em&gt;without any chance to influence what is happening.&lt;/em&gt; A child in front of TV will absorb a flood of pictures, sounds etc. in a quick succession. Yes, there is a story and yes, often something to learn, but there is no break, no time to reflect and no chance to influence the speed of the presentation or ask questions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might think your children are &quot;zoning out&quot; or &quot;relaxing&quot; in front of TV, but actually they are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt;. Watching TV is hard work for a child's brain. Of course they will &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt; watching TV, &lt;em&gt;exactly because of&lt;/em&gt; the amount of inpressions - a brain &lt;em&gt;loves&lt;/em&gt; input. Unfortunately, the filter mechanisms most of us adults have are not developed yet, especially in younger children. Is your child able to get up and walk away while the show is running? Excellent. Most aren't. While the TV is on, they will remain &quot;hypnotized&quot; in front of this box. Hey, I know adults who can't ignore a TV - and the fact that our brain is wired to focus on movement doesn't help, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After TV time, the brain will be exhausted (and somewhat &quot;neurally scrambeled&quot; due to the amount of impressions that couldn't be &quot;stored&quot; or absorbed properly) but still in &quot;rapid input mode&quot;, while the body will likely be craving exercise. And in my experience that's a recipe for disaster. The pent-up energy has to go somewhere while &lt;em&gt;mental control mechanisms are down due to tiredness&lt;/em&gt;. And this combined equals a child in &quot;overdrive&quot; with a really bad mood - or bickering, grumpy brats. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-05-09T13:37:28.233" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T13:37:28.233" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19970" CreationDate="2015-05-09T20:16:22.173" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What steps can I take to help her make new friends once we move?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to register her at a sports club and/or music school (something like that).&lt;br&gt;This helps deflecting the old friends (as a 6 year) and then she should find new friends (mostly) at her age, very soon...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16113" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T20:16:22.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14857" CreationDate="2015-05-09T21:14:39.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmm, help her out with the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she needs a little break ,be there to assist with the babies needs. and that may mean that you take baby for walk, change diapers, or even give baby a bath, while mom takes it easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may be a starting mister mom with this, but in your wives eyes, she will regard you as an angel dear for helping her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides, all moms don't mind having a pamper day whether they are at a spa , eating out with friends, or even just shopping out by themselves, or even having a few hours away relaxing likewise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16098" LastActivityDate="2015-05-09T21:14:39.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-10T14:20:43.313" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;No religious gifts thanks!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what your friends are like, but I think many religious people would not be offended by knowing your preferences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14598" LastActivityDate="2015-05-10T14:20:43.313" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1201" CreationDate="2015-05-10T14:30:43.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took these signs from my favourite and well trusted &lt;a href=&quot;http://babycennter.com/at-what-age-do-babies-get-teeth/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Biting: Biting acts as counter pressure to relieve discomfort caused    by pressure from poking in teeth via under the gums.&#xA;  Teething makes    the baby gum whatever he or she sees or finds, right&#xA;  from fingers to    teething rings and to your nipples that can get&#xA;  sore if you are    breastfeeding.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Drooling: Teething can drain out ample of fluid from the small mouth    of your baby, which can leave you amazed. However, it is&#xA;  normal, as    the water mechanism starts from about 10 weeks after&#xA;  birth. In case    the baby’s clothes are found to be wet quite often,&#xA;  attach a bib so    that the baby remains cleaner and more comfortable.&#xA;  Further, do also    wipe her chin to keep chapping at bay.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Teething Rash: In case the baby is emitting abnormal amounts of    drool, the frequent or incessant drip might result in redness,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  chapping, chafing, and rashes around chin, neck, and in mouth. For&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  preventing the rash, just pat away the fluid, form a moisture fence&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  with Vaseline, and/or moisturize with unscented skin cream.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Gag and/or coughing: Drooling can result in gagging and coughing,    which is normal. However, this can be a concern if there are other&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  signs similar to allergies, flu, or cold.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Crying: Teething can trigger pain and lot more discomfort in some    babies due to inflammation of gum tissue. This can make your baby cry &#xA;  or breeze. In most cases, the first teeth trigger maximum pain just&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  as the molars, although the bay is likely to get used to teething in&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  some time. In case of pain, you should contact your doctor for&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  getting some safe pain relievers such as infant acetaminophen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And this is only half of the list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16121" LastActivityDate="2015-05-10T14:30:43.617" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20044" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20045" CreationDate="2015-05-10T20:08:10.947" Score="2" ViewCount="2919" Body="&lt;p&gt;Note: I don't have children myself, nor do I intend to have any, but I think it could be an interesting question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suppose you have 2 children (gender is irrelevant for this question) within 3 years of each other, and both older than 14 (so it's not statutory rape because of R&amp;amp;J laws) who for some reason are having an incestuous relationship, and you found out about this. How should you handle this? And should you handle it differently depending on the legality of incest in your jurisdiction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7257" LastActivityDate="2015-05-10T20:08:10.947" Title="how should you deal with siblings or cousins that are sexually active with each other?" Tags="|sex|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-05-11T11:43:07.903" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20044" CreationDate="2015-05-10T20:08:10.947" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My view will likely be somewhat controversial, but I thought I'd share it anyway since I don't think they're THAT unreasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think there are 3 things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the act of incest illegal in your jurisdiction?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you personally think incest is not right?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there a strong taboo on incest in your surroundings?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If incest is illegal in your jurisdiction, there is no excuse: you need to stop them. They're breaking the law and they can get into serious trouble because of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If incest is legal, but you think it's not right, you have a good reason to tell them to stop it, especially if they are still underage and they need to listen to you. However, I personally think you should thread carefully here: explain to them why you think incest is wrong and why they should stop doing it. Otherwise they might not understand why this is important to you and why they shouldn't do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If 1 and 2 are not an issue, but the people that might find out think it's wrong, you should make a judgment call whether you want to risk it. And if there's no legal, personal or social barrier, then there shouldn't be a problem at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contrary to what people believe, incest isn't THAT unnatural. it's not that common, true, but there are a number of animals that do it. And there are a number of quite well-known people that had relationships, and even married, with their relatives (like Einstein, or Darwin).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, consider that this might just be some relatively &quot;innocent&quot; experimentation. There are mechanics in place from nature that prevent most people from falling in love with their siblings or parents. Your children might just be exploring their sexuality, and it's safer for them to do so with each other than with a random stranger that might abuse them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7257" LastActivityDate="2015-05-10T20:08:10.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19963" CreationDate="2015-05-10T20:20:12.443" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The problem we have is that sometimes he'll just absolutely refuse to ask for something, and start crying or exhibiting a (really cute) grumpy demeanor. We've never given in to him behaving this way, so we're not sure why he's trying these tactics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is doing them because he is only just learning how this &quot;social thing&quot; works. Do I &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; have to ask politely? What if I'm tired? What if I'm sick? What if dad just broke a promise? What if...? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grant your child the right to explore this. A child needs to learn these. Make sure he learns that asking politely gets him what he wants more easily than not asking politely. In the long run, this will get him further than anything else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, sometimes this is hard. (No, you do not have to be perfect.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2015-05-10T20:20:12.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20047" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-10T20:20:32.020" Score="6" ViewCount="25806" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an almost 12-year-old daughter. I also have 2 older daughters, 20 and 21. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 12-year-old is out of control. She tells us to shut up, calls us stupid, is just mouthy. She throws her stuff everywhere (at least she doesn't throw stuff &lt;em&gt;at us&lt;/em&gt;.) To even get her to help out is a war. She is terrible not only at home but at school as well. We take turns because we get so mad at her that we need to chill. She is rude to people all the time, I don't even want to take her anywhere. I have a hard time even getting anyone to stay with her when we go to work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't like TV, computers, or anything, so taking something away doesn't really matter to her. I can't beat her. Whenever we discipline it's a big war. If we do anything she calls 911. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems she can be an angel one minute then Satan the next. I use to cry everyday because she is so bad. Her own sisters can't stand her because she treats us so badly. I don't know what to do. I am a mess. I need help. I don't know what I am doing wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16123" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-19T13:47:42.973" LastActivityDate="2018-11-19T17:14:56.877" Title="What to do about my 12-year-old girl out of control and threatening to call the police?" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-10T23:50:28.130" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A great way not to offend religious attendees would be to adopt a religion yourself, preferably one that isn't culturally compatible with theirs. This might help others refrain from procuring gifts of their own religion, whilst not offending them all the same:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My wife and I would like to thank you for attending. We would like to use this opportunity to remind everyone that we are devout followers of Lathander and hope to raise our child in the same faith.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6591" LastActivityDate="2015-05-10T23:50:28.130" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20047" CreationDate="2015-05-11T01:06:17.457" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In families, like all other co-operative societal formations, members need a sense of responsibility and belonging, otherwise they will take upon themselves to resolve their status when they become aware that their participation is not appreciated or that their well-being cannot be assumed to others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seeing the many shortcomings you have enumerated, I could assume that she is acting out of distress and sporting exactly the kind of features you would dread to experience from her. There is a point to be made there, one that expresses that you are deeply failing her both as a guardian and a parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young individuals are willed and strongly attuned to their desires, but may not necessarily posses the facilities to express and communicate themselves to others. I would recommend that you prepare yourself to embark on a different kind of journey, where your efforts are to understand your daughter, to help her openly convey where you or her surroundings have wronged and disappointed her and to devise and refine approaches which can help you reconcile with her and create a more comfortable environment which can nurture her innate being, before her behavior and your current relationships become a permanent, irreversible feature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to bridging long-standing gaps between people, I cannot recount instances where others have expressed that it initially set off as a pleasant experience for the parties involved--you will certainly be surprised by her feedback if she speaks with an open mind and an open heart, but not bailing out once you set yourself to amend the situation is paramount, or you may severely diminish your parental disposition. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it is certainly more reputable if individuals are competent enough to resort their dealings among themselves, if you find that you aren't making any desirable progress, introducing a neutral, professional mediator should then become a necessity. They are experienced at clarifying intrafamily relationships and elucidating everyone's concerns, even to those that may not be fully capable to encompass them on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6591" LastEditorUserId="6591" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T01:11:20.650" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T01:11:20.650" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20007" CreationDate="2015-05-11T03:55:01.680" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some activities where one can get some nice gratification:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;forming a special relationship with a pet (becoming expert in the pet's likes and dislikes), or being a volunteer dog walker at a shelter&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;playing with a younger child who looks up to the child&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the Suzuki method (it takes a long time to play a string instrument really well, but in the Suzuki method, the road to get there is broken up into many microsteps, and each microstep is celebrated and applauded (literally and figuratively); I would suggest choosing viola instead of violin, so as to avoid the comparisons with other students' rate of progress that is an unfortunate drawback of the Suzuki method in many places&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;avoid team sports for now&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;martial arts could be good, depending on the teacher's approach; I like judo and capoeira best, personally&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T03:55:01.680" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20047" CreationDate="2015-05-11T04:21:41.167" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You raised two other daughters without getting that result, so you must have some knowledge about good parenting. One thing to consider is &lt;em&gt;what is different between the environment my older two daughters were raised and that in which my youngest was raised?&lt;/em&gt; Is there a different father? Is there some different stressor (is there a possibility that she's being bullied at school/does she have a learning disorder which might be slowing her down as school becomes more demanding/is there instability or chaos - not of her own making - in her life, etc.) This is a clear starting point for your own analysis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't know what I am doing wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parenting = guilt. If ever there is something wrong, a conscientious parent always assumes they are doing something wrong. And, I'm sure you are doing &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; wrong; every one of us has done at least a few things incorrectly. This doesn't mean you're the cause of her bad behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you will get a lot of advice on how to discipline an adolescent more effectively (if you don't, I'll edit my answer to add that.) Clearly, learning to disengage and set consistent boundaries with consistent, effective consequences is very important, as are learning new, positive rewarding interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, sometimes there is nothing that you specifically did &quot;wrong&quot;. That is the case with a group of psychiatric disorders called disruptive behavior disorders (DBD), perhaps the most common of which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even usually well-behaved children can be problematic at times, &#xA;especially adolescents, but kids with ODD show a &lt;em&gt;consistent&lt;/em&gt; pattern of angry and verbally aggressive behaviors, usually aimed at parents and other authority figures, such as teachers, babysitters, coaches, police officers, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be difficult to know when someone just has problem behaviors versus ODD. Three behaviors consistent with ODD are &lt;em&gt;deliberately&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;annoying and upsetting others, an inability to take responsibility for their wrong behavior* (always blaming circumstances/others for their mistakes), and being spiteful or vindictive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I jumped to ODD instead of the usual advice is that you mention&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she causes so much family disruption that only one of you at a time tries to deal with her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she is having problems at school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;her arguments are excessive for kids her age (she dials 911 on you)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she seems to act out spicifically on authority figures (adult siblings/parents/teachers/babysitters.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If - &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; - she has ODD, it's important to find out, not to put her on medications as some are quick to point out, but because there is a systematic and helpful approach to ODD that has already been shown to be of benefit, which involves teaching coping skills to the child as well as new sets of interactions on the part of the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please have a look at the two references below. If you find she fits the pattern (some exploration of her behavior with teachers at school would need to be undertaken first, though), please enlist the help of a competent child therapist who can do a thorough evaluation of your daughter and the home environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aacap.org/App_Themes/AACAP/docs/resource_centers/odd/odd_resource_center_odd_guide.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ODD:A Guide for Families by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Jeffrey_Burke2/publication/12201226_Oppositional_defiant_and_conduct_disorder_a_review_of_the_past_10_years_part_I/links/02e7e51e94a928cf39000000.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Oppositional Defiant and Conduct Disorder: A Review of the Past 10 Years, Part I&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T04:21:41.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20047" CreationDate="2015-05-11T04:51:22.240" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll preface my answer by saying that I have no idea if your daughter has Tourette Syndrome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We figured out that our son (just turned 12 now) has Tourette Syndrome (TS) a year and a half ago.  It's a neurological disorder.  A short video introduction is at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpri.ca/uploads/section000026/files/2.wmv&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cpri.ca/uploads/section000026/files/2.wmv&lt;/a&gt;, a short print introduction, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpri.ca/uploads/section000121/files/367p_ts%20fact%20sheet.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cpri.ca/uploads/section000121/files/367p_ts%20fact%20sheet.pdf&lt;/a&gt;, and more information at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpri.ca/content/brake-shop-clinic.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cpri.ca/content/brake-shop-clinic.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since getting the diagnosis, back talk rarely bothers me as much as it used to.  Once in a while it is hurtful, for example if I just made an honest mistake and my son says &quot;dumb butt&quot;.  Then I tell him, &quot;That's hurtful in this context,&quot; and he generally apologizes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason the back talk doesn't bother me as much as it used to is that now I know that this child can't help it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's review your observations.  Disrespectful, insulting, messy, behavior problems in school, doesn't enjoy anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not enjoying anything is a red flag for possible depression.  Messy is a red flag for possible executive dysfunction.  The mouthiness and backtalk could be an indication of ADHD and/or Tourette Syndrome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't say whether she is learning well academically; but even if she isn't, the behavior problems in school are by themselves enough of a problem to warrant some screening for the conditions I mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be so helpful to know what you're dealing with, and connect with parents who are dealing with the same condition -- for mutual moral support, for deep understanding, and for practical coping tips.  I would strongly encourage you to make an appointment with her pediatrician or whatever sort of primary provider she has, for a preliminary evaluation.  You and the doctor can then discuss whether it would make sense to pursue a more thorough evaluation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Separate from all that -- your role is so difficult that I hope you will take some time to strengthen your support system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T04:51:22.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20055" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20056" CreationDate="2015-05-11T06:25:11.290" Score="6" ViewCount="511" Body="&lt;p&gt;Due to some conflict situation with previous kindergarten owner, we were forced to pull our 2 y.o. from this. In the middle of the year, it's a bit difficult to find new place for a child, but for our luck - my spouse is working as a teacher in another baby day-care. Kindergarten owner approved that she can go to her group until end of year (3 months from now). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're pretty sure about the ethics of this deal - like caring same of all children in the kindergarten, but the question is, how to deal with boundaries - how to explain to a kid that mom at home is mom and at kindergarten she's a teacher? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, a good addition to the question: how mother can handle it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16128" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2018-03-21T12:23:18.470" LastActivityDate="2018-03-21T12:23:18.470" Title="Mom as kindergarten teacher of her own child" Tags="|pre-schooler|parents|teacher|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20055" CreationDate="2015-05-11T07:25:27.533" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children can learn about and accept the different &quot;roles&quot; of mom at home and at work/church group/sports team/.... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are scores of dads coaching their children's teams, there are parents (or even siblings - much more potential for conflict and less emotional maturity involved!) leading church groups, boy scouts, dance classes, orchestras... There are pastors whose children attend sunday service and pediatricians who treat their children. Kindergarden teachers having their child in class is not different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, there &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; instances where &lt;em&gt;(often) the parents&lt;/em&gt; can't handle this situation professionally, but as your wife should be able to avoid favouritism in her daily work anyway, I see no problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child knows how a kindergarden works, so just explain that mom is the kindergarden teacher in the morning (or whatever time frame applies), and that she is there for all children in the group. And of course it's your child's &quot;job&quot; to be a kindergardener in the morning, too. After kindergarden, they go home and are both finished with &quot;work&quot; and are Mom and child again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides, this will be a &lt;em&gt;temporary&lt;/em&gt; solution, so I wouldn't worry too much, even if some things don't go smoothly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just for reassurance my personal experience:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The son of my kindergarden teacher was in my group too - never a problem. Yes, he did call her &quot;Mom&quot; usually, but otherwise no problem, ever. (Small kindergarden with only one group, so this was the only feasible solution.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T12:02:59.723" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T12:02:59.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20047" CreationDate="2015-05-11T07:38:09.200" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 12 year old is out of control. She tells us to shut up, calls us stupid, is just mouthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't like TV, computers or anything so you cant take it away she doesn't really care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wow, it certainly sounds like you lost the power struggle there. I think she's probably trying to prove that you can't control her. I suggest you re-open the lines of communication by explaining that you don't have any expectations other than civility, but that you do expect civility until she is old enough to move out on and live on her own. Civility in this context just means refraining from telling people to 'shut up' or name calling (or violence, but it doesn't sound like that has been a problem). Make it clear that, other than that, she can do whatever she wants (within the bounds of the law), and you have no other expectations. Also make it clear that you're always going to be there &lt;em&gt;should she want your advice on anything&lt;/em&gt;. The goal here is to appeal to her innate sense of fairness as well as make it clear that you've understood that you can't control her. Hopefully, if she sees that she's proved her point, she'll cut it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the flip side is, if you're going to stick to your end of the bargain, you'll have to hold your tongue and let her manage her own affairs when it comes to academic performance, etc, and this may be quite difficult for some parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T07:38:09.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20047" CreationDate="2015-05-11T08:52:20.780" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like others have pointed out, based on a small description on SE, we can only hint at possible insights. For definite answer you might have to speak with a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one thing that struck me in your question is the age gap between her and your other daughters. This means that's she's grown up in a household where everybody else was at least 8 years older than her. This basically means that she was always the child. She was likely constantly faced with siblings who were allowed to stay up later, go out. And whatever she tried to do her sisters were better at it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Combined with the fact she doesn't like computers or TV or anything else (which is unusual for her age), suggests to me that's she's frustrated with these things, possibly because they remind her of her inferiority. 12 is a perfect age to start getting fed up with everybody thinking you're a child and good for nothing. And if you're then surrounded by people in their twenties and older, you get into a negative spiral, where the more you lash out, the more childish they think you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention taking things away, and punishing her. I think that kind of thinking might be exacerbating the problem (although I certainly understand you feel the need to try &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt;). She may no longer want to be treated as a child, and she may want to see signs from you that you can see her that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I'm just guessing here, but if you feel this interpretation rings true, you may want to try the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consciously look for behavior patterns that make her feel like a child. For instance, at that age I became very irritated with my father explaining simple things to me that I already knew, or giving me elaborate instructions not to touch the stove when he left me at home alone. Eliminate these where possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't expect her to know why she's acting like this anymore than you do. Wait for a good moment (when she's calm) and try to talk to about it. Try be absolutely neutral and keep all judgement at bay. Just for a while, try and act like a therapist more than a parent: emotionally detached, and non-judgmental.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her more freedom and let her experience the consequences of her actions. The reason you punish her is because without your supervision these kinds of actions will get her into trouble. I'm not suggesting giving her the keys to the car, but if you think hard, I think you can work out a place to start. If you get her to talk you can even work out a plan together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to give her responsibility for something that she's good at, better than you, your wife or your other daughters. Something that will make her feel confident. This is a difficult puzzle, since it won't help if you're humoring her, and doing the dishes won't build her self-esteem. Again, if you can get to a point where you're working on this together, that would be a massive help. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16090" LastEditorUserId="16090" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T13:29:08.803" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T13:29:08.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20047" CreationDate="2015-05-11T09:38:29.670" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Under control vs. self control&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the issues when growing up is that there is a transition at one point where a kid that is controlled by the parents and the school system needs to move into a position where support takes over and control moves away - eventually completely once the kid is taking control itself over its life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A big amount of fights between parents and kids comes from the situation where the kid thinks that its misunderstood and that the controls imposed by the parents are not making sense to the kid. There is an impression of not being understood and an urge to fight against the control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While she is clearly still too young to take completely control over her own life (i.e. getting a job and moving out), there is the question in the room where you can agree with her to lower the amount of control that you feel is needed and hand control in these aspects over to her. I would consider where you are controlling her life and behavior and in what aspects you can hand over control to her without impacting family life too much. For example, is cleaning up her room really needed? Or is that something that in the end only impacts herself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try to make a list of items that you are willing to give her control over - given that she behaves accordingly to warrant the trust. Give her immediately control over things that you can ignore and where the impact affects herself more than the family and present her with a list of items you would allow her to do in case she changes her behavior in a way that allows a peaceful life in the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you seem to have (tried to) controlled her in the past with punishments, try to reward her instead with something. Psychologically this is a much stronger incentive from my experience. Make it clear to her that you all do not need to agree on everything, but that by law she won't get around living together with you. If you act towards her more as an equal trying to strike a deal than punishing her for not meeting your expectations, you might get much further. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7212" LastEditorUserId="7212" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T09:44:31.107" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T09:44:31.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20061" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-11T10:55:40.720" Score="45" ViewCount="9360" Body="&lt;p&gt;My ex husband, who was near 30 when we had our first child, and 33 when we had our second, hasn't seen his children since 2008..  We broke up when the youngest was 6 months but as his girlfriend was quite a bit younger, he never had time to see them..  Since we broke up he stood the kids up 56 times in the first year (I kept records) and then only saw them once a year for the next two years.  Since my oldest was 5 we haven't heard from him (he is now 12).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have done all I can to protect them.  I don't talk nasty about him as they are half him, but all I can say is their father is selfish...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest called his dad, and quite rightly, was upset and angry but the father hung up on him and then proceeded to send his son a text saying never attempt to contact me again..  So my son attempted to meet his side of the family by calling his grandparents who proceeded to blame me for it all..  When my son said don't try to pull my mother into this, his grandfather got angry so my son hung up.  Now says, I know what they are like and I am never contacting them again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have I done the right thing by letting my son contact them??  Or am I not protecting them enough??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16131" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T18:27:25.233" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T17:57:06.613" Title="Should I try to protect my son from hearing that his father wants nothing to do with his two boys?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20061" CreationDate="2015-05-11T11:08:26.480" Score="44" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you did right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, this is a tough experience to be rejected like this when you are twelve, but if you really never bad-mouthed their father and still have the records of his (non-)visits, you did everything you could. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you kept him from contacting his paternal family, I firmly believe that this would have lead to some &quot;mystified&quot; image of how this &quot;missing&quot; part of the family would have been &quot;oh so wonderful&quot; if only you hadn't been in the way. I think your son had every right to contact his father. I also think with puberty right around the corner, better now than later, as harsh as it sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ball is clearly in the father's court now (and has been for years). If he refuses contact, so be it. Neither can you change the behaviour of the grandparents, some people will always support their immediate family, no matter what. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when you are sorry that your son is missing out on family, remember that the ones missing out in this scenario are the father and the grandparents who don't get to see their grandsons grow up.  Their bad luck, IMHO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T11:08:26.480" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20061" CreationDate="2015-05-11T11:28:31.463" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;It was the right thing to do. Imagine what could've happened if you &quot;protected&quot; you children more. They would only have your word against a father they might have imagined you removed from their lives. Now they know for sure who he is and they got to learn it on their own. You may have some short-termed trouble and feel bad, but in the long run - you did right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T11:28:31.463" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20064" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-11T12:25:36.467" Score="3" ViewCount="260" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 8 year old (boy) is a rather socially vocal about things that interest him, or anything that grabs his mind, what I mean by that is that he will (at length) talk to anyone around him about his current interest subject (right now it's fishing) or his life (and our family) history, regardless of whether they've shown any interest or not. He will often random start conversations with people who have started an unrelated passing conversation with us (cashiers, random people on the bus, family members e.t.c) about these things, when it's clear (to us) that they are completely lost about what he's talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried explaining to him on numerous occasions that not everyone enjoys being subject to an half hour long conversation about fishing or Minecraft or Egypt or whatever the flavour of the period is, but it seems to not be getting through. It's gotten to the point where a lot of his school peers have started actively ignoring him when he approaches them because they're just not interested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously we don't want to squash his enthusiasm for these subjects, or any subject, to stop him exploring his interests, but we feel that he's going to have trouble finding friends if he doesn't recognise other peoples interest (or lack-of).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How have other people handled this (or similar) situations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I feel that some of the cause comes from him trying to establish himself as a clever child, as a lot of the children in his class seem to have a rather high opinion of themselves, but he is a clever child - just when he exerts himself. He also seems to be suffering from some confidence issues - he refuses to apply himself to things which he can do, he just doesn't think he's able to (but I'm thinking this is normal behaviour in children?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16134" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T21:27:07.417" Title="How to encourage children to 'reign-in' their enthusiasm + socialness" Tags="|primary-schooler|social-development|self-esteem|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20066" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-11T13:16:50.690" Score="1" ViewCount="194" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some reasons that a young person might go on a diet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, which of those reasons should be a concern for me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16138" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T19:08:02.253" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T10:42:03.653" Title="What are the reasons for and dangers of dieting?" Tags="|nutrition|diet|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20047" CreationDate="2015-05-11T13:22:12.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest soliciting the help of a professional at this point. It will take a few weeks, but a therapist will help you figure out what is going on in your daughter's head, and give you and her some strategies.  One thing you want is for your daughter to develop a healthy clinical relationship with this therapist (in other words, trust). That means the therapist is not for &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;. So if you need someone to talk to about coping with the situation, either find another therapist, or at least get separate appointments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based solely on your description, which may be wildly off base (which is why you need to locate a therapist), it &lt;em&gt;sounds&lt;/em&gt; like your daughter may be experiencing some pretty severe depression and/or anxiety.  It's not normal for a 12 year old to have few interests, and losing interest in things is a sign of depression. People with depression often lash out as well, saying things they don't really mean, and then in turn feel guilty about what they've said, which reinforces the cycle of thinking that brings depression (&quot;I'm worthless.  I am so mean.  Obviously there's something very wrong with me.&quot; etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13482" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T13:22:12.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5857" CreationDate="2015-05-11T16:03:57.240" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there was ever a time in your life to throw a diet out of the window, it is during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By all means avoid fizzy drinks and confectionery, but other than that - open up and consume!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, eat healthily, restricting your intake to that which is wholesome and nutritious, but do not restrict your intake due to weight-gain fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And one thing I must stress:  Whatever your cravings - GIVE IN TO THEM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14145" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T16:03:57.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7179" CreationDate="2015-05-11T16:51:58.773" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you self-identify as a Christian, I will presume to give you a Christian parenting answer on a secular site.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You should primarily SHOW, not TELL your Christianity.  In the Epistle from James we are told, &quot;Pure religion and undefiled in the sight of God is this: to help widows and orphans in their distress, and to keep oneself unspotted by the world.&quot;  Really, this applies to all your relationships, not just with your child.  (And actually, &quot;show, don't tell&quot; is probably good general advice for influencing other people, apart from religion, and even apart from parenting.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You should definitely NOT undermine the father-child relationship (or the husband-wife relationship) with your Christianity.  The Apostle Paul was asked about this by the church at Corinth, and he advised Christians with non-Christian spouses to stay with them, and to win them (if possible) to Christian belief by their QUIET life of exemplary Christian behavior (as opposed to nagging and mind-games).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, you have both the right and the responsibility to be open about your faith in front of your child and husband, even if that causes conflict (assuming you're not being obnoxious about it).  Again, Paul says, &quot;If the unbeliever leaves [i.e., divorces you over your belief], then let him leave.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding Christian-themed toys and games: As a general rule, children detest propaganda even more than adults.  My kids loved playing with the manger scene figures at Christmas, and they liked the Noah's ark set animals.  But they liked them because they were fun, not because they were Christian-themed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14678" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T17:02:23.360" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T17:02:23.360" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20061" CreationDate="2015-05-11T16:52:02.770" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the step-dad to a great 17-year old whose father walked away when he was 4, yes you did the right thing. And I'd go one step further and say that you should defend the grandparents who have, for years, only been hearing one side of the story and so probably were being told by the sperm-donor that it was you blocking visitation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a shame that there is another whole family out there that could be giving this kid love and support, but aren't. And if your son ever wants to try again, I say facilitate it again, and be there without judgement of them if it doesn't work out again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My (step)son - and for me the &quot;step&quot; part is meaningless as I love him as much as I do my biological daughter - has tried contacting his father a couple of times with mixed results. And I've facilitated every one, and been there to talk about it with him every time. And I tell him the truth - it's his father missing out more than him, because he is the one choosing not to have his son in his life. I don't get that, but I'm not him. And if he ever does build a good relationship with his father I will be happy for him. For myself, I've already had the best gift. I've had the honour to be his Dad for the past dozen years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And my son will never, ever come to me and wonder if things might have been different because he thinks I might have put impediments in the way of him having a larger family in his life. He knows through and through that I was always willing to share his life with as wide a circle as possible. And I have never bad-mouthed his father, only expressed regret that his father seemed incapable of taking on the role he had a chance for. Because that is honestly how I feel. Some people just aren't cut out for the job of parent. Sad, but true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T17:17:00.963" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T17:17:00.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20061" CreationDate="2015-05-11T17:16:04.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;IMO, if a 12 year old child wants to talk to their father you have no right to prevent this, so if things happened the way you wrote, you did the right thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I do question why your son would be upset and angry when calling his dad. Of course, from your POV he certainly had every right to be so. But maybe things would have gone different if he had just &lt;em&gt;asked&lt;/em&gt; his father to see him once in a while, rather than accuse him for not doing so? Of course, the interaction between a child and a parent is the parent's responsibility. Still, if a father doesn't do the right thing under all circumstances, maybe he would under better ones? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the part where I would suggest you question your role in this. I have been divorced (twice, actually) with children and know full well how hard it is to defend the very person who ruined your relationship (because its always the other one, isn't it?) in front of your children in order to not to make them feel bad about one of the two persons they look up to most. But it's still the right thing to do, and if you fail, your children will have to compensate for this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note: I do not say you did, nor, if so, you are a bad person. But if you ask if there is something you could have done better, I would look at this.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way this turned out (and no matter whether you could have done better or not), it is now a pretty bad situation for your children: Their father refuses them. In the long run, this has the potential to seriously affect their psychology. If I was you, I would focus on these things to deal with the situation: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do whatever you can to compensate for that situation. Talk to them about it. Do you live with someone else who can partially replace their father? If not, do you have a (male) friend who would like to spend time with your children, thereby doing some of the work their father ought to be doing? (Do they have a godfather?) If you think it is affecting them, consider a therapist. &lt;em&gt;But make sure they don't feel like you expect them to break down under this.&lt;/em&gt; Children are very receptive that way. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to not to make your son feel upset about his father. I would not suggest that he'd apologize, but maybe if he'd try to talk to him again without anger (much later, of course), the two of them do have a chance to reconcile? That would be very good for your children. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to fix it. If your husband doesn't call back and tries to fix the damage he's done, maybe you can talk to him? And if he would not to talk to you, maybe there is some (common) friend he would listen to? Or do you think you could talk to your ex-mother in law? Would an uninvolved professional (external council) be an option? They are his children, after all, and I would wonder if he had no interest at all in their wellbeing – and this &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; threatened by his refuse to talk to them. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, with time, this improves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-10-12T17:57:06.613" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T17:57:06.613" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19513" CreationDate="2015-05-11T18:15:39.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At first, have you asked your daughter if she wants to attend a boarding school? If you haven't, consider letting her change a school again. Choose one she would be able to attend without moving away from you. If she's so sad, it will make no good for her, and especially for her health. Boarding schooling is good, but at this age it isn't necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well OK, she may even realise her behaviour is making you sad, and stop crying, but... It wouldn't be about stopping being sad, just about hiding it, that may cause even more harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, try just to have a sincere talk. Examine what she feels about that and what happens to her in that school. Does she miss her old friends as well? Has she experienced bullying there? Is there something good for her about studying at that school? Discuss pros and cons together, it may either solve your problem, or give you some clues about what to do. You may find out that you have to do just several little things to make her all right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what a child feels about a school is mainly what they does feel about its people. It's really hard to do anything, when you have no friends here, and your relatives are also away. There will be no good in her studies until she finds a couple of good friends, gets a favourite teacher, and so on. Other things are much less a problem than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the things said above are taken fro my own experience. I'm a 20yo university student, and I had been sent to different boarding schools for a one-month summer try for multiple times (in Russia), but I finally made up my mind just before my final year simply because it was the first time ever when I met a couple of people it was really pleasant to communicate with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope your daughter doesn't have such a communication disorder, but actually, the problem is all about this. Having friends to spend enough spare time with them will leave her almost no time for being sad. Be happy with it, and I wish you all being happy :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16144" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T18:15:39.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20074" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-11T19:09:32.000" Score="15" ViewCount="1954" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were told just prior to checking out of the hospital that sleeping with the infant, along with side-sleeping and front-sleeping, increases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was under the impression that &lt;a href=&quot;http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;safe cosleeping&lt;/a&gt; habits were just that, safe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, these &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/cosleeping-safely&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;safety guidelines&lt;/a&gt; include: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No extra objects in the bed: no pillows, no stuffed animals, no loose blankets&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sleeping surface is firm&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents are not smokers, are not intoxicated, or on any medication that causes drowsiness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents are not obese&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents are not sick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And much more&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is far from a complete list. The two lists I linked to are more comprehensive, but they don't all have the &lt;em&gt;same&lt;/em&gt; things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have there been any studies about whether safe-practice bed-sharing increases the risk of SIDS?&lt;/strong&gt; I'm looking for information showing a correlation or causation between best-practice bed-sharing and SIDS risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-31T13:50:18.007" LastActivityDate="2021-11-02T19:08:29.417" Title="Does safe bed-sharing increase the risk of SIDS?" Tags="|infant|newborn|safety|bed-sharing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20066" CreationDate="2015-05-11T20:03:49.597" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are some reasons that a young person might go on a diet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the most common reason is &quot;for fun&quot;. They hear about it in the media and want to try it out. This kind of dieting usually doesn't last long, and, even when in full force, it rarely excludes desserts or sweets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even a young person may be genuinely overweight. Subject to peer or societal pressure, some may choose to diet. In such cases, it may be important to check the facts behind their dieting plan and make sure the diet isn't too extreme.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another reason is compassion for animals, and not wanting to support industries where animals raised for food are treated inhumanely. I'm a meat eater myself, but I do sometimes get pangs of guilt when reading about the conditions that the animals live and die in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As a parent, which of those reasons should be a concern for me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Significantly rarer reasons include the more worrysome condition of anorexia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T20:03:49.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20064" CreationDate="2015-05-11T21:05:55.953" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems like he just doesn't understand what is socially excepted when it comes to small talk (I know many adults with the same problem), he just needs some practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may not be the absolute best place but if he likes it it would be a great advantage to him as a skill. There is a group called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.toastmasters.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Toast Masters&lt;/a&gt; that helps their members perfect their speaking skills. When I have spoken to members they speak clearly and perfect English (no ummms or awkward silence). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're all over the US (not sure where you are hopefully this is relevant) and meet twice a month at the one near me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So this is a little mature for an 8 year old but if on an off chance he likes it, this skill will benefit him for the rest of his life AND he will learn to really choose what he talks about for the best impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T21:27:07.417" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T21:27:07.417" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20074" CreationDate="2015-05-11T21:25:47.637" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, there is a distinction that should be made. &lt;em&gt;Co-sleeping&lt;/em&gt; is actually the practice of sleeping in the same room with the baby. Bed-sharing is when the baby sleeps in bed next to or between the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Insofar as any studies go, they can't seem to differentiate between sleep-related deaths or suffocation and SIDS/SUID. IMO, the hospital is full of it. &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/cosleeping.html#&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; gives the following reasons NOT to bed-share&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Factors that can increase this risk include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a baby sleeping on a couch alone or with a parent&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a baby sleeping between two parents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a mother who smokes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;parents who are extremely tired&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a parent who has recently used alcohol or drugs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bed-sharing with pillows or bedcovers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of these lend themselves to suffocation in some fashion or another. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt;, done by James McKenna and backed by &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livinganthropologically.com/2013/02/15/meredith-small-our-babies-ourselves/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Meredith Small&lt;/a&gt; in her book, give plenty of research behind the &lt;em&gt;benefits&lt;/em&gt; of bed-sharing and co-sleeping. (more explanation of the links to come)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My Experience&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used both tactics for both of our kiddos. We have something called a co-sleeper that sits at bed-height so mom can pull the kiddo into bed with her to nurse, then set the kiddo back in the co-sleeper to sleep... all so she doesn't have to get out of bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading up a bit more, this practice seems to be &quot;acceptable&quot; as far as safe sleeping habits and SIDS are concerned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T21:25:47.637" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20074" CreationDate="2015-05-11T21:47:25.603" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, sleeping anywhere - bed, sofa, floor - with the infant nearby is &lt;em&gt;not recommended&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the CDC site:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Have the baby share your room, not your bed. Your baby should not sleep in an adult bed, on a couch, or on a chair alone, with you, or with anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the AAP:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The AAP recommends the arrangement of room-sharing without bed-sharing, or having the infant sleep in the parents' room but on a separate sleep surface (crib or similar surface) close to [but not attached to] the parents' bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Evidence exists that room sharing without bed sharing decreases the risk of SIDS by as much as 50%, is safer than bed-sharing, or solitary sleeping (in a separate room). In addition, this arrangement is most likely to prevent suffocation, etc., which may occur when the infant is sleeping in the adult bed. Room-sharing without bed-sharing gives the parents close proximity making feeding, comforting, and monitoring of the infant easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a study from Scotland focusing on sharing sleep surfaces, of 123 infants who dies of SIDS between May 1996 and Jan 2000, the highest risk was associated with couch-sharing, then bedsharing. The final recommendation was against bed-sharing for infants &amp;lt;11 weeks of age, and sharing a couch for sleep should be strongly discouraged at any age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In &lt;a href=&quot;http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/11/is-it-time-to-rethink-co-sleeping&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article promoting safe bedsharing&lt;/a&gt;, the author implies that bedsharing &lt;em&gt;decreased SIDS&lt;/em&gt; because breastfeeding reduces SIDS, and bedsharing promotes breastfeeding. The fact is that parents get better sleep if they don't have to get up to breastfeed, which is the factor promoting breastfeeding. The benefit of breastfeeding in the reduction of SIDS is independent of sleep surfaces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would love to say sharing a bed is fine and good. But I can't, not yet. I successfully breastfed my children without bedsharing, so I know it's possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/e1341.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Expansion of Recommendations for a Safe Infant Sleeping Environment: Task Force on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16027691?dopt=Abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Bedsharing, roomsharing, and sudden infant death syndrome in Scotland: a case-control study&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-11T22:46:09.923" LastActivityDate="2015-05-11T22:46:09.923" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20081" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20313" CreationDate="2015-05-11T22:37:19.560" Score="7" ViewCount="1306" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby boy is 19 months old, he screams while he plays, while he sits in his high-chair, while he is in his cot, while he has time-out, whatever and wherever he screams, screams, screams and does not stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It isn't a normal screaming either, he does it as loud and horrible as he possibly can, and his favourite trick is to do it right inside our ears by surprise, making us jump and go crazy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone else have this experience, is it normal, what should I do about it?  We have been trying the time-out technique for many weeks but it has no effect.  After time-out, of any interval - minutes or hours, he just smiles and laughs and starts again to scream.  During time-out, either in his cot or high-chair, in the same room or in another room, he just screams like usual, it seems he doesn't care about it at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way to teach our baby to stop this or an alternative non-violent discipline technique to time-out?  How can we find out the real reason our baby is behaving with this extremely bad and stressful way?  It is ruining our lives.  After hearing that screaming, it has disturbed our minds, we cannot think straight or concentrate on anything at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13279" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T17:37:28.467" Title="My baby screams all day long, non-stop, as loud as he can, and he finds it extremely funny" Tags="|behavior|discipline|time-out|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20066" CreationDate="2015-05-11T23:08:32.713" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Supposing you're talking about a kid like 10 years old or so. A point where they need their nutrition, but you can see they're on the slope to a bad weight and possible ridicule in middle and high school...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say you shouldn't think of it as a diet more so than a change in habits. Typically, people think of a diet as a temporary and radical change in food / exercise routines intended to produce relatively immediate results. But if you are intending to encourage healthier weight gain and development in a kid who has so far been raised in a fast food type culture (or some equivalent that results in childhood obesity, generally overweight, etc) then a diet is likely a passive term used to represent a shift in overall eating habits that is not intended to be temporary or produce immediate results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is a 5th grade teacher. Many of the kids live off some of the most toxic things (like flaming hot cheetos) and it is against district policy to refuse these foods in the school. I say this because I have seen how different a kid's body can be when this is the normal food sources they have available to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Snacks and treats don't always have to be carrot sticks and water. Frozen yogurts, depending on the brand and whether or not it is organic, can seamlessly replace ice cream. Almond milk, or other milk alternatives, can fairly well replace milk, and is enormously less disgusting in process. There are many whole grain breads that aren't &quot;gross&quot; to kids. You'll have to try a few to test those waters. The list goes on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Passive recreation will also affect weight. Many kids these days prefer video games and tv over active play. It may be hard to convert a game player to a rock climber, but many fail to interest their kids because they land on typical options like football and soccer and don't consider that there are a zillion physical activities out there. Playing paintball trumps playing Call of Duty every time. Just most kids don't know paintball is an option. Or, common physical activities are just so expensive. To that I say there's always a way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could go on for days about conversion to healthier eating and recreation, but knowing what will work begins with knowing the kid. As the parent you know whether or not your kid loves ice cream or insists doritos are the only thing they'll eat. You'd have to research one by one what a healthy alternative to those things are and patiently work them into the routines. And at some point, you may just have to say no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might discover through the process that your kid enjoys food much more when the time is taken to make it delicious and healthy. I didn't believe much in rigid healthy eating when I was younger, but as I learned to cook I know how good things can be when they're made with healthy, organic products. And if you know how to shop you can do the organic thing for not much more than standard foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also find out your kid is a paintball champion, a rock climbing ninja warrior, racquet ball master, or some other thing that will gradually bring them back to a healthy body and mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will take a lot of time and patience though. No habit just shifts over night, and it probably won't work if you aggressively impose it. Gradual, and thoughtfully is the way I would go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T10:42:03.653" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T10:42:03.653" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20061" CreationDate="2015-05-12T00:47:26.150" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up with a wonderful mother and Stepfather. I was very angry for a long time because I didn't know my father. They tried to protect me from the truth and when I was young I never appreciated that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an adult I married (badly the first time) and I wound up having to keep the children clear from their father's life. He wasn't a terrible person, he just had problems that meant that he couldn't be a good father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later I married a wonderful man, someone who loved us all and inspired us with his selflessness and generousity. He made up for everything they missed. The children sometimes wonder about their biological father but love has a way of helping to heal that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes you don't get it right away. Be the best person you can be and attract people in your life that will make you all a whole family. This doesn't have to be someone you marry, just people who collectively become your family. They don't have to be biological, know what I mean? In general, it usually takes much more than a mother and father to raise a child anyway. It takes a village and a collection of experiences to make us whole people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And tell your children to ask their friends about their fathers. There are good fathers and bad fathers and just ok fathers. Chances are you alone as a mother are much better than what their friends have anyway. This idea that a family has to be a certain way is not based on anything real. In cultures all over the world the family isn't necessarily raised in a two parent household. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it is easy when you are young and immature to focus angst that you would naturally feel on something specific as a way of explaining how you feel. If their father was there, the focus might be on something else, right? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the biggest thing is to give as much love as possible and help them work through their feelings and appreciate everything they do have in their life anyway. This is such a crucial thing that if they learn this they will be incredible individuals with happy lives no matter what their circumstance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16146" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T07:00:37.183" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T07:00:37.183" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20066" CreationDate="2015-05-12T01:04:22.757" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few possible motivations for starting a diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Actually being overweight.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this may seem a &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; reason for a child to be on a diet, it's actually still not highly advisable. &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/kid/nutrition/food/diet.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Restricting calorie intake and snacks&lt;/a&gt; can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food and poor self-image in the long term, and raise the risk of eating disorders. It's also possible that important nutrients will be missed out on if the focus is too much on just eliminating calories, which is never healthy but can be even worse for a child who's still growing. Paradoxically, &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.stanford.edu/news/2000/january5/dieting-15.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a calorie-restricted diet can even lead to weight gain&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents can encourage a better approach by looking at ways to build healthier long-term habits. Teach children about different types of food and how they affect energy levels and overall health, looking at reasons beyond just weight control. Emphasize the importance of combining physical activity with a healthy diet. Parents can lead by example, and also get advice and guidance from a pediatrician or nutritionist. (Just as kids can easily underestimate or overestimate their body size, so can parents.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Poor body image:&lt;/strong&gt; feeling too tall or too fat, or too short, or too scrawny.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can come from a number of external sources: teasing from peers, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2792687/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;media influences&lt;/a&gt;, even family members who obsess about their own weight can all cause a child to become focused on (and critical of) their own body shape.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A related motivation may be &lt;strong&gt;participation in a sport that emphasizes weight or size limits&lt;/strong&gt; (including, but not limited to, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vanderbilt.edu/AnS/psychology/health_psychology/wrestle.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wrestling&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8865353&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ballet&lt;/a&gt;, or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/girls-gymnastics-when-a-bright-spotlight-casts-a-dark-shadow&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;gymnastics&lt;/a&gt;). In this case the influence is even stronger, since there's often an apparently responsible adult who's actively discouraging normal growth (sometimes overtly, sometimes inadvertently just by praising smaller classmates).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If dieting gets out of control, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/features/eating-disorders-children-teens&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;it can transform into an eating disorder&lt;/a&gt; like anorexia or bulimia. This is much more serious than &quot;casual&quot; diets, perhaps the most extreme expression of personal dissatisfaction and also the most dangerous. Some useful pages for further reading are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/eatdis.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Eating Disorders: What Families Need to Know&lt;/a&gt; (many links to additional research and resources) and &lt;a href=&quot;http://treatingeatingdisorders.com/youngchildren.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;When Young Children Have Eating Disorders&lt;/a&gt; (see &quot;What Can Parents Do?&quot;). In addition, seeking help from a medical and/or psychological professional is important when things have reached that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking anecdotally, I had a friend who had to miss a year of high school because she was getting treatment for anorexia. It's not just an issue of calories, it's deep-seated dissatisfaction with personal appearance -- she ended up with significant medical and psychological problems that took time to work through. It's definitely worth intervening before things reach that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T01:16:36.197" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T01:16:36.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20085" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T02:02:01.100" Score="5" ViewCount="1121" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids father had nothing to do with my son for the first year and a half that he was born then after that he was in his life until he was 9 years old. Then my girls were around him when they were born until they were 6 and 4. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He left on May 9, 2009 and in the summer of 2010 the kids went to see him the first time in Vegas where he had moved to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had set with the court that he would see the kids every other summer. In the years he wouldn't have the kids in summer, he would have them over for spring break and Christmas. The kids never went for spring or winter break. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then he moved closer and they saw him the summer of 2012. Since that time he has not talked to his kids nor seen them since their last visit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has not paid support in at least 2 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kids want nothing to do with him. My kids are know 15,12, and 10 years old. He does not send cards for their birthdays or even a letter explaining anything. He just stopped talking to them. Then my daughter tried to talk to him and he deleted her from facebook. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do now? I feel I need to advocate for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16148" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T20:48:28.000" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T20:48:28.000" Title="What if the father of my children has not seen or talked to his kids in over a year?" Tags="|single-parent|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20086" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T02:04:37.940" Score="4" ViewCount="191" Body="&lt;p&gt;So our girl (5 months chronological, 3.5 months or so adjusted) has a pretty strong tic when she wants to go to sleep. Her arms and legs flail pretty wildly and seems to keep her up.  Why does it seem so? If i do a &quot;manual swaddle&quot; and hold her arms, she slowly slowly calms to sleep.  BTW: she doesn't seem to have Moro response any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's warm now, so we use a muslin swaddle cloth.  With the give and stretchy in this, she flails out of this pretty easily.  She runs hot, so a flannel cloth is way too warm for her.  We tried the Miracle Blanket, but with both strength and size she grew out of it.  Same with the Nested Bean Zen Swaddle - she's strong enough to break out of the velcro in literally 10 seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, how do I help calm a flailing freakishly strong girl? or should we be looking at other calming aids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastActivityDate="2023-06-23T13:26:27.040" Title="Swaddle for energetic infant? Or am i thinking this wrong?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20088" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T03:13:58.787" Score="3" ViewCount="6352" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's common to put stocking caps on newborns. For both of my boys, born in different hospitals with different methodologies, they were given stocking caps immediately after birth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that the caps are for temperature control and keeping the baby warm. However, we've heard from our mothers (when our first was born) that the caps have another purpose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pressure exerted on a baby's scalp during delivery can cause temporary deformities of the skull, since the skull bones are not fused. This malleability is necessary for babies to fit through the birth canal. However, it often leaves newborn heads looking decidedly more lumpy than usual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back to the caps: Our mothers (and others) claim that the pressure from the hat can speed up the process by which the skull's shape normalize. I'm skeptical, because I'm not sure the pressure applied by a standard cap would be even or consistent enough to be effective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, can newborn stocking caps speed up the process by which newborn skulls assume their normal shape?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note, I'm not referring to the cases where children receive specialized helmets for flat or bulging skulls. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside: If anyone wants to edit this to include the medical or technical words for the conditions and processes I'm referring to, please do! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2021-03-18T22:05:59.230" Title="Do newborn stocking caps help skull shape?" Tags="|newborn|clothes|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20086" CreationDate="2015-05-12T06:11:36.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our girl somehow always managed to free herself of whatever swaddling method we came up with. We stopped fighting it after some time (earlier than 3 months for sure) and simply made sure she won't scratch herself. Socks on palms work well, but there are some dedicated anti-scratching-hand-thingies for children. She did have some trouble falling asleep, but eventually she learned that also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are slowly nearing a time when your baby's sleeping habits are made. If she always falls asleep on your arms, you're going to have a difficult time putting her to bed later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case this is a medical question about the twitching, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/help/on-topic&quot;&gt;we don't handle those!&lt;/a&gt; If you're worried about that, go see a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T06:11:36.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20090" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T06:30:00.333" Score="9" ViewCount="41427" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am very confused and concerned - My 13-monthld daughter wakes up between 1:30 am and 3:40 am screaming and crying in her crib. I have tried giving her a bottle of milk, cup of water, cuddling her, rocking her, covering her, and singing to her. At this point I'm worried. It started about two months ago and hasn't stopped or gotten any better. She takes two naps a day and she goes to sleep between 9:00 pm - 9:30 pm. Am I doing something wrong? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has three meals a day with several snacks throughout the day, she wears a teething bracelet and necklace, she drinks a sippy cup and a half of water a day, she plays happily and is fine all day with minimal tantrums, we go for walks, watch movies, read books, cuddle and babble to one another. Am I doing something wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want the best for my little girl and I am confused as to what to do for her right now? Is it me or is it a stage of some sort? Is this normal or should I schedule an appointment with her pediatrician? I don't know what to do and I want to help her through this. It is stressing me out and making me get no sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16152" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-13T04:27:08.920" LastActivityDate="2017-03-04T07:18:08.670" Title="My one year old daughter keeps waking up same time every night screaming and crying" Tags="|sleep|crying|night-time|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20085" CreationDate="2015-05-12T07:17:38.277" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two types of obligations a father has towards his children:  Moral and legal ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Moral obligations&lt;/strong&gt; like visits, birthday cards or simply keeping in touch are something he decides to fulfill or not - there is little to be done if he decides not to see his children. In your case it appears your children have come to accept the situation, as harsh as it sounds. If you choose to keep the proverbial door open, good for you, but I wouldn't count on him, given his past record.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Legal obligations&lt;/strong&gt; are a different matter. Child support is something he owes to you and your children, something they are entitled to. If he dodges his duty, get legal support. This is no laughing matter and even if you get by easily now it's money that will come handy once your children go to college or something unforseen happens. Basically, it's theirs, don't take it away from them. Do not cancel child support in the hopes of him fulfilling his moral obligations of being a father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T16:51:21.127" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T16:51:21.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20088" CreationDate="2015-05-12T08:41:05.493" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on commentary from friends of ours who are midwives and community nurses, there are two key information points here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To answer your specific question: No, those caps are just to keep the baby's head warm. They do not offer significant pressure to reshape the skull&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trying to do this is unneeded, aside from exceptional cases that the hospital would identify and provide assistance for&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies heads are supposed to deform, and the soft skull allows this to happen and reform. You shouldn't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T08:41:05.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20093" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T10:19:49.487" Score="18" ViewCount="22312" Body="&lt;p&gt;So our son is only 15, but he has fallen pretty heavily for a girl who apparently comes with a lot of &quot;baggage&quot;. She comes from a broken home and is constantly having issues. Our son spend a lot of time getting dragged into her problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I regularly walk in on him at night when he should be asleep and he is on the phone to her because she is feeling paranoid or someone has says something bad to her. He is really sweating over trying to fix her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't see any of his friends any more. They came up with an arrangement that they were only to spend time with each other. She constantly needs reassurance from him that he loves her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the moment he gets home to the moment he goes to bed - and seemingly afterwards as well he will be on Skype to her. When we get in the way and take his phone away because of homework and such he gets really stressed telling us that this girl is in real trouble and needs his help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It all came to a head last night. Today he has a very important exam at school, in a subject that he is pretty keen on doing well in. Obviously he needs to spend the evening studying and then have an early and relaxed night to prepare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he can't - it turns out his girl is having a hard time and she has told him she is going to kill herself. Obviously he is pretty distressed. My wife talks to her and actually she sounds Ok and she just says son is distressed because he is worried about his exam. This girl is only 13 and so doesn't have any exams herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So with all that I come to take his phone away at bed time and the kid completely freaks out. He bangs on about how he misses her and he just wants more time with her and he needs the phone just to hear her say I love you one more time. Etc.. This drama goes on for a while and I stay with him to calm him down. Then.. long after he should be asleep, his phone rings and it is his girl again. I answer and tell her son needs his sleep. Then take the phone away. Son is totally distraught that his girl is going to be awake when he is having to go to sleep. I mean seriously distressed. I figure there is nothing more I can do for him, so I leave him to it. He spends the next hour crying loudly and banging his wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid is going to be a mess for his exam today. This girl has done nothing to support him and everything to distract him to keep his attention on her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the right thing is to just come out and say this girl is bad news and he needs to move on, but this is what I feel. What can I do to help him through - and keep him focused on his exams?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13663" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T10:41:32.210" LastActivityDate="2018-07-05T05:19:44.917" Title="How can we help our son deal with his girlfriend's emotional issues?" Tags="|teen|relationships|emotional-well-being|dating|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20061" CreationDate="2015-05-12T12:41:33.137" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/20071/4054&quot;&gt;Michael Broughton wrote a phenomenal answer.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll echo the general response that you should not be sheltering your children from the unhappy parts of life. Children grow by facing and overcoming challenges, not coddling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That all said, there is are two key things that I would draw out of these responses:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it is of the utmost importance that you are there to act as a safe harbor when these things happen. Allowing your children to face challenges never means that you withdraw all support or guidance, it only means that you allow them to experience life and take the opportunity to tackle it head-on with their own strength. Be there to advise, sympathize, listen to, and otherwise support your sons. But as others have said, do so without judgment; you don't know what has happened in the lives of others to spur this behavior. Be a strong, good, compassionate, and empathetic example so that your sons learn to come through adversity with their heads held high and their hearts right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, be absolutely sure that there isn't anything you've knowingly or unknowingly done to block a potential relationship between your sons and their biological families. Double and triple check your words and actions. For most of us the natural reaction is to throw our hands up out of exhaustion, spite, or another motivation and give up. Family is always worth trying for, and your love for your sons will be clear to them if you never give up trying to help them be a part of all their families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if you're doing your best to live up to the ideals (even if you fall short, as many of us do), then you're doing all you can to do the right thing. That's all any of us can do, and that's all anyone can reasonably expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're there already, good job and keep it up. Parenting isn't always easy, but it is worth every bit of effort you put into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16155" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T12:58:20.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20095" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T13:09:40.067" Score="12" ViewCount="45485" Body="&lt;p&gt;With all due respect to passionate parents who type in caps &quot;NEVER HEAT MILK IN MICROWAVE&quot; is there any verifiable scientific study on how bad it is to heat refrigerated milk for 15-20 seconds?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or is it just an expression of fear against unknown?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;On one of the forums I've read that microwave ovens emit &quot;sound waves&quot; that destroy &quot;atomic structures&quot; that lead me to believe that it could be just one another urban myth that was spread by the media.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two main points against mircrowaving I've read:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Microwaves destroy proteins and vitamins.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Does it?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Destroy into what?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Would not proteins be destroyed in the stomach anyway?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Would conventional heating destroy it as well?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Why is destroying bad?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Would it destroy bad things, too?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Microwave heating is uneven and it could make a super hot spot that could burn the baby's mouth a bit.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is there a research of the risks?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It does not create a super hot spot in my bowl of pasta if I mix it after heating for 2 minutes.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I understand that fat in breastmilk is not homogenised and that fat can retain heat for long.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What if I shake or swirl the bottle for 10 seconds?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;How long the hot spot could exist?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few studies from the 90s I have found:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8889628&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8889628&lt;/a&gt; - says there are no effects on B1/E/acids if resulted average heat is not higher than 60 C&lt;br&gt;&#xA;[same website link] - same, no difference in B1/B6  if compared to stove top heating&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://m.pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/89/4/667.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://m.pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/89/4/667.short&lt;/a&gt; - E.coli bacteria grows faster in microwaved milk than controlled, i.e. antibacterial qualities are reduced  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything else?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I would appreciate hearing your opinion on the matter but a link to a relevant research would be way more trustworthy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16156" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-03T18:06:49.807" LastActivityDate="2019-11-24T05:17:26.090" Title="Are there any studies about effects of microwave ovens on human breast milk?" Tags="|safety|breastfeeding|research|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20095" CreationDate="2015-05-12T13:13:08.827" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/expressing-storing-breast-milk.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NHS Choices&lt;/a&gt; says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Don't use a microwave to heat up or defrost breast milk as it can cause hot spots, which can burn your baby's mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/breastfeeding/Pages/Storing-and-Preparing-Expressed-Breast-Milk.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Academy of Paediatrics&lt;/a&gt; says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do not use microwave ovens to heat bottles, because they do not heat them evenly. Uneven heating can scald your baby or damage the milk. Bottles can also explode if left in the microwave too long. Excessive heat can destroy important proteins and vitamins in the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.health.wa.gov.au/docreg/Education/Population/Child_Health/Feeding/HP8896_breastfeeding-expressing_&amp;amp;_storing_milk.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Western Australia Dept of Health&lt;/a&gt; says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Microwave ovens should never be used&#xA;  to thaw or heat milk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;The major problem with microwave&#xA;  ovens is that they cause uneven&#xA;  heating. The temperature of the surface&#xA;  may be a lot hotter or cooler than the&#xA;  rest of the milk. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fda.gov/Food/ResourcesForYou/HealthEducators/ucm089629.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;FDA&lt;/a&gt; says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Heating breast milk or infant formula in the microwave is not recommended. Studies have shown that microwaves heat baby's milk and food unevenly. This results in &quot;hot spots&quot; that can scald a baby's mouth and throat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the issues seem to be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the possibility of 'hotspots' due to uneven heating, combined with the easy-to-burn nature of a newborn's mouth/throat, and&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;the possibility of overcooking the milk and thereby making it less nutritious.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the other possible factors you mention, I'm with you in suspecting they're basically nonsense, but I don't have any evidence. If you want some serious debunking then &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/&quot;&gt;skeptics.stackexchange.com&lt;/a&gt; may be able to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T13:19:39.110" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="158" CreationDate="2015-05-12T14:00:37.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask her what she thinks will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did this with our daughter, and she opted for putting a sock on that hand at night. Which works pretty well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure she's more willing to do it because she thought of it herself (with a little bit of gentle guidance).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T14:00:37.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19238" CreationDate="2015-05-12T14:03:40.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmm, that seems a strange question to me. I'm a software developer and a scientifically-minded person, and I'm also a Fundamentalist Christian and a creationist. I don't see any contradiction there, it's more &quot;I study and respect science, and THEREFORE I am a Christian&quot;. I have studied the evidence and this is where it leads me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of the greatest scientists in history believed the Bible. Isaac Newton formulated the theory of gravity, invented calculus, and built the first reflecting telescope. He also wrote books defending the Bible from atheist attacks in his time, for example, his &quot;History of the Ancient Kingdoms&quot;. Kepler said that the job of the scientist is to &quot;think God's thoughts after him&quot;. Roger Bacon, the man sometimes credited with &quot;inventing science&quot; because he was the first to describe the modern scientific method, in the same book called for schools to teach Hebrew (and Greek) so young people could study the Bible in the original language. Dr Mortimer Adler is a well-known science writer, who was Jewish (messianic) and a creationist. Jew Paul Ehrlich won a Nobel Prize for his work in bacteriology, and he was a devout Jew. Ernst Chain was another Bible-believing Jew who won a Nobel Prize. Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When people talk about &quot;the conflict between religion and science&quot;, what are they talking about? Please give examples of this conflict. Usually it comes down to one or two things, like the Bible teaches creation while most modern scientists believe evolution, and maybe something about miracles. One or two points of difference is not a fundamental conflict. I've often read things in the newspaper that contradict what I was taught in school, especially when discussing economics. Would you therefore say that there is a &quot;conflict between education and journalism&quot;? That any serious person must decide whether he will believe education or believe journalism? No. You'd say that this one story in the newspaper contradicts what you learned in this one economics class. Of course there are individual points of difference! The fact that SOME scientific theories conflict with SOME religious theories is somewhere between &quot;so what?&quot; and &quot;well, of course&quot;. It would be absurd to expect that every means for gaining knowledge ever invented would always get exactly the same results, given the natural fallibility of human beings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how? I'd say, teach your children analytical, objective thinking. Teach them to look at the evidence before drawing conclusions, and don't believe something just because &quot;everybody knows that&quot; or because they heard it on TV. Then discuss both scientific and religious theories in these terms. I never told my children that they should believe the Bible because I said so or because that is what our family believes. I always told them to study the facts and evidence for themselves, on this and every other subject. In our family we have always talked about religious ideas in exactly the same way that we talk about scientific ideas: What are the facts? Yes, finding the evidence is a lot harder than just dogmatically saying that this is how it is. But it also gives your children a solid basis for their beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T14:03:40.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20093" CreationDate="2015-05-12T14:29:39.477" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't recommend you try to discuss this when she is in the throes of a problem. He will not listen to reason at that time. Instead, when things are calm in the middle of the day, walk him through the logic of the situation. Ask him questions.  Your use of the phrase &quot;drama queen&quot; suggests that your questions might be along the lines of &quot;was she really in danger?&quot; but I would steer you away from that. While you are probably right, the downside if you're wrong is huge. Instead I might try &quot;are you a trained professional who knows how to help a suicidal person?&quot; and &quot;is her mental and physical health more important than this school year?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While she very desperately needs something from him, and is calling him to get it, you must also see that he very desperately needs something from her, and doesn't believe he can get it elsewhere. It may be a sense of importance, of being the one who holds everything together, or it may be that first amazing sense of loving someone who loves you, or it may be being part of a team - you probably don't know because he probably doesn't know. So ask him. &quot;When I take your phone away late at night, what am I taking away from you?&quot; How urgent is that? Can you have that in the morning, can you have that after your exam, can you have that on the weekend? Is it a time limited offer? Will she break up with you if you don't ruin your exam for her? If so, does she really love you? Do you really believe that your efforts are the only thing keeping her alive? Isn't that exhausting? Would you like to share that load somehow?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Questions, questions, questions. They may lead him to go do the volunteer training for a crisis line. They may lead him to break up with her. They may lead him to set healthy limits on the relationship himself. I don't know, because I don't know the situation. Nor do you, and not does he. But this is how you will come to know it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when you have a spare minute, take a thankful moment to reflect on the luck that put this in his path now, rather than first year away from home with no parent to intervene and point out it is unhealthy. It's an extraordinarily common scenario for first year university and college students and often takes several degrees and futures down with it when it happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T14:37:15.387" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T14:37:15.387" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20101" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T14:49:56.103" Score="2" ViewCount="433" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a first time mother and I have a 4 month old baby girl. She stretches so severely and intermittently. Could this be normal? What could be the cause?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16157" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-12T16:29:35.727" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T12:31:03.073" Title="Baby Girl Stretching" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20102" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T17:36:40.193" Score="10" ViewCount="3643" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some methods to help a teen who openly admits that they may be addicted to online gaming and wants help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16158" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-13T06:39:00.810" LastActivityDate="2016-12-30T13:29:31.360" Title="How to reduce Online Game Addiction?" Tags="|teen|video-games|addiction|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20103" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-12T20:10:24.213" Score="4" ViewCount="35402" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something my wife's aunt, who is a nurse (but not in any maternity or pediatric field) advised us on. She said we should avoid giving onions to my wife (who doesn't like them usually anyway) while she's breastfeeding, because it can make the milk taste funny and thus make the baby fussy about eating it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main question is in the title. However, if it's a yes, to what extent is it true? Does onion powder or dehydrated onion have the same effect? Does fully cooked onion have the same effect? Does raw onion have the same effect? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-11T14:08:28.980" LastActivityDate="2019-01-11T14:08:28.980" Title="Does eating onions while breastfeeding adversely affect the flavor of the breastsmilk?" Tags="|breastfeeding|diet|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20103" CreationDate="2015-05-12T20:19:17.203" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know about the flavor, but I do know that a number of foods go into the breastmilk and some are very hard for babies to digest. It gives them stomach cramps. Onions is one of them, as is cabbage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this varies from baby to baby and they can get these problems with just about any food. The best thing to do is to keep track of your own diet and of the baby's complaints and whether the baby becomes gassy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often it's something you eat that disagrees with them and onion just happens to be a common offender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Citation. It also mentions there's a number of other things that could be causing this, though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/foods-to-avoid-while-breastfeeding.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/foods-to-avoid-while-breastfeeding.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="13196" LastEditDate="2015-08-10T12:52:45.923" LastActivityDate="2015-08-10T12:52:45.923" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20093" CreationDate="2015-05-12T21:51:14.173" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several people here who should be involved, and there are two people to consider whose lives are being impacted in an unhealthy manner. I think there needs to be some adult intervention here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The girl's parents absolutely need to be informed&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever the true intent behind the girl's suicidal expressions, they are still &lt;em&gt;suicidal expressions&lt;/em&gt;. The girl's parents need to be informed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Turn this around: if your son were telling someone he was suicidal, and his friend's parents were trying to &quot;deal with this insofar as it impacted their daughter&quot; without telling you, and your son then disappeared/committed suicide, how would you feel that they didn't tell you about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The girl's parents need to find her a therapist&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is absolutely not your job. It's not your daughter. If, and only if, the parents seem to be paying absolutely no attention to her issues (you do have some degree of right to this information), then it should be brought up with the girl's school counselor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your son is not a trained therapist, and no one has the right to ask him to take on this burden&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may want him to help her by listening, but this is beyond the ability of a 15 year old to handle wisely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;He is really sweating over trying to fix her.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's because he hasn't had a formal education and a few years worth of supervised clinical training in how to handle this. Of course he's in a bad bind. She has given him a responsibility he is not prepared for, and should never have been given.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did he come to you and tell her of his girlfriend's problems? Did he seek your advice on how to handle it? This would have been a wise thing to do. If he didn't, and you only found out because he wanted badly to continue talking when he was supposed to be doing something else, you can use this fact when you talk to &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; about why he's ill-equipped to handle the girl's problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At her age, school should come first; at his age, relationships should not get your son in trouble in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This girl is only 13 and so doesn't have any exams herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and I understand &lt;em&gt;exams&lt;/em&gt; differently. Certainly she goes to school? Somehow she gets grades? Are tests different than exams? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It really doesn't matter. This 13 year old girl is not making your son and his well being a high priority. She's only 13, and can't do that yet. She's a bit young to be in such a time-consuming relationship with a boy. If he wants to take care of her (or anyone else) someday, he needs to be in a position to do so. If he isn't a natural wizard at some marketable skill, he needs to learn one. She shouldn't be interfering with his ability to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; parents, and &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; well-being needs to come &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt; to you. You have an obligation to inform the girl's parents, and maybe school counselor - which you should fulfill ASAP - about her condition, then start setting limits on this relationship. That is &lt;em&gt;your responsibility to your son and his future&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While he may well balk, that's no reason not to step in as parents. I see two possible benefits to putting limits on the time they may spend (in person or on any device) together:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your son will have more free time to pursue healthier ways to spend his time, and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she may stop seeing him as a comfort-object, either encouraging her to use more appropriate channels to deal with her issues, or to move on to someone who has more free time to spend on her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He doesn't see any of his friends any more. They came up with an arrangement that they were only to spend time with each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In an adult relationship, this would be seen as a precursor to potential abuse. Social isolation means that the isolator is in the position to meet all the the isolated's emotional needs. &lt;em&gt;Or not to&lt;/em&gt;. It's a means of control. Explain to your son that this is an unreasonable and unhealthy request for someone to make of him. Hanging out with groups of friends with occasional time alone together is a more normal and healthy relationship for their ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When we get in the way and take his phone away because of homework and such he gets really stressed telling us that this girl is in real trouble and needs his help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's what her parents, her counselor(s), Child Protection Services, the police, and suicide hotlines are for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I come to take his phone away at bed time and the kid completely freaks out. He bangs on about how he misses her and he just wants more time with her and he needs the phone just to hear her say I love you one more time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At his age, this is important to him: to have a female love interest, to be loved, to feel he's in an adult(ish) relationship independent of you, etc. But it's also an immature, unhealthy relationship, and he needs to understand that you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; looking out for him out of love and concern. If he absolutely refuses to believe you, make an appointment with his school counselor, discuss the situation, then meet with them with your son. The counselor should shed some light on your son's &lt;em&gt;you-don't-understand-you're-my-parents&lt;/em&gt; type objections. If therapy is free in your country, or covered by insurance, he might benefit from examining his own need to be a such an important figure in a relationship with someone else. Wanting to be loved is normal. Wanting to provide full-time therapy is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I answer and tell her son needs his sleep. He spends the next hour crying loudly and banging his wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has to end sometime. Grit your teeth, and try not to let him keep the neighbors up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take control of his electronics, and make sure he's using them for schoolwork, talking to other friends, etc., as well as some reasonable amount of time - limited - with his young friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use all your parenting skills (or read about parenting and setting limits with adolescents and teens) to help him sort out this mess he's in. Talk often, listen more, and learn about what your son &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt;. She is meeting a need in him. Try to supply some of what he needs and get him to explore different pathways to getting them met through other relationships. Recognition of and positive reinforcement for good decisions is important always. Negotiate. Teach him about healthy boundaries, so he can learn to set them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No one with normal teenagers says parenting is a breeze. Still, you have to make the effort. He won't like it, but it' your job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T21:51:14.173" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16394" CreationDate="2015-05-12T22:10:25.010" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though I didn't find &quot;Once Upon a Time&quot; there, a great resource for getting age recommendations for movies/tv/games/books is &lt;a href=&quot;http://commonsensemedia.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Common Sense Media&lt;/a&gt; They provide parents' recommendations and kids' recommendations and a break down of what's in a lot of stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2015-05-12T22:10:25.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20081" CreationDate="2015-05-13T01:41:20.410" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, I know this isn't a fun situation at all for you. First, before anything else, have you been to the doctor? I think that you should make sure that there are no developmental issues. If this has been going on for awhile, it is worth considering. The reason I say that is because some children with Autism have this reaction when they become overwhelmed or bored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16146" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T01:41:20.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20111" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-13T03:42:56.783" Score="9" ViewCount="5750" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11-year-old boy seems irresponsible. I understand that he is still young, but I would like to have some advice on how I need to deal with him when he makes a mistake. For example, he damaged his phone, his school tablet, his own tablet and finally he just lost another tablet at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things I have trouble with are that if I tell him to ask his teacher about grades or something he never does. I have to email the teachers and keep up with his grades, but he never tried. When I ask him if, &quot;Did you tell your teacher?&quot; or &quot;Did you ask your teacher?&quot;, he says, &quot;I forgot.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is doing well at school, but just because I'm looking over his shoulder and tracking his grades. I'm punishing him, like taking his iPad and computer from him, so he will not play games or watch YouTube. It looks like he is only thinking about his games and no interest in anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16162" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-13T17:40:54.563" LastActivityDate="2020-03-07T09:23:41.220" Title="How to make my 11-year-old boy more responsible?" Tags="|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20113" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20118" CreationDate="2015-05-13T05:12:05.197" Score="34" ViewCount="18572" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10-year old boy recently told me that he likes the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella&quot;&gt;Cinderella&lt;/a&gt; fairy tale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some fairy tales including this one, have several layers of meaning and sometimes they guide people's life decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's look at Cinderella from a realistic point of view: The stepmother humiliates Cinderella for a long time, while her father is watching and doing nothing about it. Her father is the first man she knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's totally reasonable that she holds a grudge against him (for not preventing the attacks of the stepmother), and because she doesn't know other men, she is likely to project this concept to other men as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In her family she didn't have a chance to take revenge for her sufferings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This changes when Prince Charming enters her life. It is likely that Cinderella will vent her anger on him and he won't fight back because he is noble and such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, real life is full of stories when Cinderellas either&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tolerate intolerable behavior from bad men/criminals and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;reject all those people (men and women), who treat them well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I fear that if I don't tell my son about these hidden meanings, he may get the wrong impression that it is easy to be together with a real-life Cinderella, i.e. that you can improve the life of a &quot;broken&quot; woman without investing enormous amount of time, energy, love, money and sometimes major sacrifices in lost career/business opportunities. A real-life Prince Charming would need - besides a genuine love to Cinderella, which borders on insanity - a couple of decades of intensive work to heal Cinderella's wounds (based on my experience).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also fear that he might have the wrong idea on the probability of success: Lots of men waste their resources on Cinderellas because the latter don't want to be saved (to lead a normal life without daily humiliation and/or violence).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any possible harm if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 1:&lt;/strong&gt; Re-formulating my question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can there be any harm to my son in&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;telling him that there are many ways to look at that fairy tale and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;explain to him, how I interpret it (and why I don't like it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;at this particular age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words: Isn't he too young to learn about the existence of these unhealthy relationships?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user14348" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T13:18:26.727" LastActivityDate="2018-09-15T20:22:41.133" Title="Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?" Tags="|pre-teen|emotional-well-being|maturity|morals|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="27" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2015-05-13T06:57:42.070" Score="29" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there any possible harm, if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To a certain extent the &quot;hidden meaning&quot; you describe is a somewhat dystopian outlook on relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, it's considered unnecessary that a 10-year-old know the &quot;cold hard truth&quot; about everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think most people make decisions in their adult life based on fairy tales they liked when they were 10.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would seem prudent to wait until your son is actually at the age of forming adult relationships, and, if it turns out he's the nice guy chasing a lot of Cinderellas who would rather date a jerk, maybe have a talk with him at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T06:57:42.070" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19963" CreationDate="2015-05-13T06:58:29.907" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my own child, I will often just give her a suggested phrase to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Car! Car! Give me car!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;A more effective way to say that is 'May I please play with the car?'&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Please may with car?&quot;&#xA;  &lt;em&gt;(She never gets the whole phrase right, of course, but that's not important, and I do think it's important that I model the whole phrase&#xA;  even though it's beyond her speech level at this point.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Sure! Thank you for asking so nicely.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't always work, of course. In which case I just tell her &quot;No, not if you aren't going to ask nicely,&quot; and try to change her focus to something else. But I have a pretty stubborn and fiercely independent girl, and this tactic works very well with her. Probably because she loves speaking and acting like the 'big people.'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will even find her modeling my 'suggested phrases' at other times when she &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; in a good mood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16164" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T06:58:29.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20116" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-13T07:11:58.817" Score="4" ViewCount="1153" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to some websites, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/engorgement&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;it does not affect your milk supply if you express breast milk during engorgement&lt;/a&gt;, so long as you &lt;a href=&quot;http://endingawantedpregnancy.com/help-my-milk-came-in/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;only express enough to relieve discomfort&lt;/a&gt;. Even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pamf.org/children/newborns/feeding/engorgement.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this medical foundation website&lt;/a&gt; &#xA;gives this information, but there are no citations on it or the others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this information true or untrue? Why or why not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: A lactation consultant can and will be consulted for all of my family's lactation needs. However, I don't expect such a person to be able to quote to us specific studies or articles on the subject (even if they are able to!) We'll trust their judgment, but I still want to know the basis for that judgment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-13T20:47:35.347" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T22:20:23.960" Title="Does expressing or pumping breast milk during engorgement affect supply?" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2015-05-13T07:33:44.080" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;There potentially could be harmful outcomes of going into detail that is ahead of a ten-year-old's comprehension/experience/understanding:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age, children are still children, and despite the media trying to persuade us otherwise, the world is a very safe place for the majority of people, and relationships, while rarely perfect are generally positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd definitely err on the side of helping children have a positive and optimistic view of the world - that helps build their ability to enter relationships in the future on a positive basis. They could have a very negative approach to relationships otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, some relationships will fail, for various reasons, including some individuals who are really not pleasant, but that's just part of living.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most traditional fairly tales have a combination of altruistic and good characters and malicious and evil characters, and kids pick up the nuances as they get older. At first they see the simple good and evil, and later they pick up on the subtle and more complex back stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-05-13T07:44:33.603" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T07:44:33.603" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2015-05-13T07:35:02.530" Score="61" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you should &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; do is to simply talk badly about a favourite story of his.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you could do &lt;em&gt;instead&lt;/em&gt; is put the story into perspective - and don't do this with this fairy tale alone, but with as many as possible. If you do this as an &quot;early start to literary studies&quot; you might actually do him a favour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Topics to cover could be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Core message or teaching of the specific fairy tale.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Example: Little Red Riding Hood (Красная Шапочка) teaches not to trust random strangers and to stay on a given real or metaphorical path.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hidden meaning and symbolism.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Example: The wolf is not an animal but a predatory human.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set of characters and characteristic behaviour; archetypes and stereotypes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Common patterns in various stories.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Hint: Try to invent a new fairy tale with the discovered stereotypes and patterns. We did this once with our 6yo - the results were hilarious yet could have been in any random book of fairy tales. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Historic context - like why were there so many stepparents and how was life at the time these fairy tales came up.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Example: Cinderella: The stepmother tries to strengthen the position of her own daughters in a time where marriage was the only way to secure the future of a girl. The father most likely didn't marry for love, but because he needed someone to keep the house and look after the first child. Marriages were a partnership of convenience and an economic decision, not a romantic concept. (Do you see another lesson here?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discuss which messages can be applied to modern times and what should be discarded. (see example above...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you can't do this simply in one big lesson, but asking questions that lead a child to think about these topics can be done &quot;in passing&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So back to your original questions:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Telling a child that a fairy tale has multiple layers of meaning is a good thing to do. These stories were not intended as simple entertainment alone. Besides, at ten, he either has noticed that Cinderella has a deeper meaning (unless we are talking about the Disney all-singing-all-dancing glitter-laden version, then I recommend reading the Brothers Grimm) or will understand your explanation quickly. My children both stumbled about this at around five or six and we have continued from there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discussing the possible interpretations is the logical next step. And this leads to the last bullet point from the list above: Does the given role model still make sense today? But don't go into too much detail - this is neither the place nor the time to explain the patterns of abusive relationships&lt;sup&gt;(1)&lt;/sup&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last point about your personal conclusion that Cinderella will resent her father and thus resent her chivalrous Prince Charming: Perhaps she will be simply grateful for the chance to have a better and safer life that she won't make him miserable? Perhaps she is simply one of these ever-suffering ever compliant females that will submit to his wishes like she did to her step-mother's before? We can't say because the fairy tale doesn't tell us. Why not stick with the reassuring &lt;em&gt;&quot;And they lived happily ever after.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; that tells us that all conflict has been resolved at the end? (In fact, an important message of fairy tales...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So no. Do not push your fears of your son picking the wrong woman &lt;em&gt;in perhaps ten years&lt;/em&gt; into one simple fairy tale &lt;em&gt;today&lt;/em&gt;. Criticizing the behaviour that is explicitly &lt;em&gt;in&lt;/em&gt; the story is fine, too many &lt;em&gt;what if&lt;/em&gt;s is IMHO the wrong way to go. I'm sure that the pattern of women that your son will be drawn towards is formed by &lt;em&gt;many, many&lt;/em&gt; females he meets or reads about, not just by &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; fictional character.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(1)&lt;/sup&gt; IMHO, taking about relationships that are as unbalanced or broken as in your example can wait at least another five years or more. I'm sure there will be some kind of literary or movie (hopefully not real-life) example that may trigger this discussion...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-15T20:17:20.840" LastActivityDate="2018-09-15T20:17:20.840" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20111" CreationDate="2015-05-13T08:12:30.697" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;In your question, you say that he's damaged a phone, 2 tablets then lost another tablet.  You must have replaced these so he knows that it doesn't matter what happens to his things, he'll get new ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Equally, you ask him to find out about his grades, he doesn't and you go ahead and do it for him.  Again, he knows he doesn't have to do anything because you're there to do all the work he can't be bothered to do himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how to make him more responsible?  Give him more responsibility.  Tell him he's at an age now where he can help more around the house (if he's not already) and his reward is being allowed to use his iPad or computer for a set amount of time.  If he gets good grades, then maybe you can take him and a friend somewhere he wants to go but he has to tell you those grades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 11, he's probably thinking to himself that he do everything on his own and you're not letting him.  In fact, you're checking up on him constantly.  Back off a bit, let him find out that actions have consequences, explaining to him if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16168" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-13T12:08:13.317" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T12:08:13.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20102" CreationDate="2015-05-13T08:16:43.303" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing is to find out why the child plays. As a pretty heavy gamer myself who has gone through a number of phases and reasons for getting lost in games, I know there can be many reasons why you get lost in a world of games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you know, here's some advice for three different kinds of players that I've been in the past:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;For the challenge&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When in high school, I had a time where I gamed instead of making homework. For a major part, this was because I felt school wasn't interesting enough and I needed to focus on something harder. I played games that were challenging and competetive because I wasn't properly engaged with school because many of the tasks were either boring or simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the situation, the best fix is to find a new outlet for challenge. Either find harder tasks for the child to do (ideally, in the same subject as his schoolwork) that let him learn at a pace that suites him better. A challenging piece of homework can be just as good as a challenging game, but the former might be harder to get your hands on. Alternatively, work with your child on some advanced topics when he completed homework and chores. From personal experience, if you have someone who can kickstart you in a new topic you can later get a lot of fulfillment out of it. But starting a topic on your own can be daunting, and if there is nobody you can meaningfully show your work to, hard to stay motivated for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also check if there's any groups in the area that do out-of-school work that's a little more challenging. For example, taking up woodworking, programming, electronics, or something of the like. Schools can sometimes be lacking in terms of practical hands-on work and getting to do it after school sometimes makes it more bearable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;For the social aspects&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many games these days, especially the MMO games, have strong social aspects that draw players in to playing. This can be hard for a parent to spot, but sometimes when your child seems to be hacking up trolls on his computer, that's actually just a side to the real activity: chatting with people about the game. Especially people who have a hard time interacting with people face to face can often more easily make friends in an online environment where everyone is playing the same game. When I moved to university, an entirely new environment where I didn't know anyone, I fell hard for these kinds of games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't actually an all-bad situation as long as the contacts made are more meaningful than just playing a game together. I've made some pretty good friends over the years from playing them. Sometimes it helps to simply take some of these online friends and go do something else together (either virtually or for real, assuming these people live relatively nearby and you feel comfortable with the idea). This reduced the &amp;quot;need&amp;quot; to play the game in order to talk with your friends, and can help you let go of excessive gaming because you can just talk to your friends on Skype instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, if your child wants to meet up with some people he met in a game, &lt;em&gt;do not immediately shoot this idea down&lt;/em&gt;. It is important to understand that the child considers these people his friends, even if he's never seen them before. If you shoot him down, it will feel like you disapprove of his choice of friends, not as if you are scared that something will happen. Instead, call the host and ask him about the meetup, and drop your child off personally slightly later than the starting time so you can see who is there. I've been to many such meetups and host them regularly. As long as it's a large(ish) group, in a known location and you have contact information, it'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, if the social aspect of gaming is important, consider looking for some non-video games that have very strong social aspects to them. Many cities have board-game or roleplaying-game meetups where people come together and play some games. They often have a very low bar of entry and many gamers can find some people who think alike in them. Encourage your child to go to them (maybe even look for some) and help him get there (take him by car if it's far) or organise them in your own home. Effectively consider it like taking up a sport for the child, except the training is mental instead of physical. But it's still a social activity they can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or play games with him yourself. Pick up a boardgame that you both think is interesting and play it with him occasionally. If nothing else, it'll give you some quality time together to talk about any other issues you both might have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;For the blinking lights&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is probably the hardest one. And it might also be the most common one, especially these days. A lot of games are designed very specifically to draw people in and make them waste as much time as possible. (I should know, I used to make these). Most of what is on Facebook qualifies for this, as does anything that people refer to as &amp;quot;pay to win&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The primary defense against these that I've found is to figure out how they work from a psychological and business perspective. Look up articles on psychology of games and addiction and try to make your child understand exactly how the game is manipulating him into wasting time and money. These games generally offer &lt;em&gt;nothing&lt;/em&gt; of value in return for your time, but they are relatively new in the market and are luring in a lot of people who aren't really familiar with games yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The primary thing I think to get rid of this kind of addiction is to understand &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escalation_of_commitment&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Escalation of Commitment&lt;/a&gt;: the game tricks you into thinking that you have achieved something in the game and that it's worth spending more time and money to maintain it. This is what made people come back to Farmville time and time again; the game made them think their &amp;quot;farm&amp;quot; had value and needed to be maintained or they would &amp;quot;lose&amp;quot;. It's full of psychological tricks that make you feel needed, but ultimately the game offers nothing of value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once both you and the child understand the idea of Escalation of Commitment, sit down for the game together and then just let the child delete the whole thing in one go. For these games, there is no value in &amp;quot;just play occasionally&amp;quot;. Just make sure the child makes the choice and performs the action himself. It will sting a bit when you do it, but I've fallen for these games a few times when I was younger (although they weren't as manipulative as now) and I have &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; gone back to playing one after I consciously set myself down and simply deleted them. As soon as the game disappears, all of the feelings of &amp;quot;I need to maintain this&amp;quot; vanish with it. You'll feel an incredible sort of relief and you'll get back your free time. Hopefully to spend on more valuable things, which might be other games, because many of them do offer a lot of worthwhile things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Closing words&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you can get some help from this. It's important to understand (as parent and child) that a gaming addiction can be a serious thing, but it is also important to understand that not all gaming addicts and not all games are alike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gaming plays a very important part in my life, I've been an addicted gamer who lost grades and lots of sleep over games, but I've also been a designer who made his living off of them, I've met my wife through games, I know many of my friends through games and it's one of my greatest creative outlets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to tackle the things that are causing you to game &lt;em&gt;too much&lt;/em&gt;, not the things that make you game at all. If you take away the symptoms, you still have the problem, and you'll either fall back to gaming or run into even bigger problems along the way. Like with many things; moderation is key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T08:16:43.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20102" CreationDate="2015-05-13T10:17:44.903" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first step of getting out of any addiction is accepting the fact of being addicted. That's the hardest part. And it's behind him, apparently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second step: get clean. In this case - make him not play at all. For, say, a week. How to help to complete this phase?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;provide alternative occupation - painting the fence, going to the movies, a family board game, a good book, anything to get his mind off gaming; this point is the most important! It's very hard to stay off computer when one is bored&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ban access to the computer/console/phone. It can be done. If a computer is essential at school, buy one that won't handle any games.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get rid of the smartphone, get an old Nokia and remove all games on it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make consoles and any other computer gaming equipemnt unreachable. A good padlock on a closet may do the trick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that - stay clean for a longer period of time. Learn to live without games. Stop missing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possible and dangerous last step - reintroduce games. In reasonable amounts. Everything in life needs balance, and gaming is not inherently bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T10:17:44.903" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20111" CreationDate="2015-05-13T11:54:51.617" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, you say you're punishing him, but &lt;em&gt;what exactly for&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Psychologically a reward system would be better than a punishment system - say for every day he looks after his next tablet he gets +1 point, and 10 minutes of games. Every week if he asks his teacher about his grades (not sure why this should be his focus at 11 years old), he gets +2 points, and 15 minutes of games. Points can translate into things like 'time with mum/dad on my own', 'watch a game of football/soccer/ice hockey', 'have dessert while out for dinner' etc. Having a chart on the wall would provide positive feedback. You could give him negatives for not looking after stuff (eg. putting clothes away is points, doing dishes is points) and give him big bonuses for doing things without being asked, but not directly correlating to points (so not everything has a 'reward cost').&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 11 years old, he has a boy's brain. He's so far off having a man's brain that he may not be 'fully mature' for another 14 years or so (boys mature later than girls)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a difference between inattention and irresponsibility. Using tracking tabs like Trackr Bravo (not recommending this, it's just one I'm aware of) to GPS locate his important stuff might be financially benefical. How is he damaging stuff? Does he understand the correlation between item and cost? For instance, my one-year-old understands that when he broke daddy's phone screen, mummy had to go away and work so it could be fixed. He understands that he loses when he messes up - now he tells himself off when he wants to be naughty in any way, which is sweet and hilarious at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He is doing well at school, but just because I'm...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;concerns me a lot. Maybe he's doing well despite feeling like he's not supported? I'd love more expansiveness on how you feel punishment is achieving your aims, and this aspect is something that might need re-working. He might actually like parts of school, but just find he's overwhelmed with the responsibility of having to look after stuff that actually has a value, something that is new to him. Have you asked him if his perception of the situation is the same as yours? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what's the time frame? A month? A year? Since he was 4? Why is he keeping on being given new stuff if he can't look after it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, Otter Boxes are awesome cases a lot of tradespeople use to protect their phones. I'd put his in one, and superglue it shut if he shows any signs of wanting to remove it. It might also be worth buying ruggedised devices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7409" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T11:54:51.617" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20125" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-13T12:00:37.400" Score="1" ViewCount="281" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read that at 3 months you can start to try and train your child to sleep through the night. My child starts squirming and making little sounds (not crying) in the middle of the night still. I've read that those are signs of hunger? How should I train him to sleep through the night when he does this? I had the following ideas but not sure which to do, or if there’s a better one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feed him then and hope he learns to sleep through the night somehow&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wait a period of time (say, a half hour). If he’s still making noise,&#xA;or starts up again, then feed him. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wait until he starts crying. I've&#xA;read that crying is a late stage of hunger, so I’m guessing that this&#xA;is not what I should do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13830" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T16:33:52.650" Title="How to handle baby waking up while sleep training" Tags="|sleep|feeding|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20126" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20127" CreationDate="2015-05-13T12:09:38.810" Score="3" ViewCount="52093" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wash the baby bottles by hand and often let them air dry. Do I have to dry them completely before adding breast milk? I would obviously want to get all of the dish liquid out of the bottles. But I wasn't sure if the breast milk mixing with a small amount of water would have any impact on the baby. I would think that he might just pee slightly more frequently if I don’t dry them fully?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm using Dr. Brown's bottles, so drops of water collect on the nipple, bottle, vent, vent cap, and cap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not clear if these trace amounts of water would contribute to water intoxication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child is 3 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13830" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-18T13:37:01.243" LastActivityDate="2018-12-18T13:37:01.243" Title="Small amounts of water mixing with breastmilk" Tags="|infant|safety|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|water|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20126" CreationDate="2015-05-13T12:25:21.407" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breast milk is, essentially, water with a bunch of other nutritious stuff in it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stlouischildrens.org/articles/wellness/water-intoxication-in-infants&quot;&gt;Water intoxication&lt;/a&gt; can be a concern if an infant drinks too much plain water in addition to breast milk or formula, but that requires a &lt;em&gt;significant&lt;/em&gt; volume of water:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Breast milk or formula provides all the fluid healthy babies need. If&#xA;  a mother feels her baby needs to take additional water, it should be&#xA;  limited to two to three ounces at a time and should be offered only&#xA;  after the baby has satisfied his hunger with breast feeding or&#xA;  formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few drops of water is &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; less than the two to three ounces (about 1/4 to 1/3 cup) limit. So any very small amount of water remaining in the bottle after it's washed and left to air dry is not a danger. I doubt it would even be enough to make a noticeable difference in how much he pees.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T12:25:21.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20126" CreationDate="2015-05-13T12:25:31.063" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The water content of breast milk varies a lot (even during feedings) - much more than a few drops of remaining water would &quot;dillute&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please take a look at this picture from wikipedia: thinner (=more watery) foremilk vs. thicker (=fattier) hindmilk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/wCoTb.png&quot; alt=&quot;Fore and hindmilk&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only reason to be worried would be if you were washing the bottles with unsafe water, for example if you were in a country where drinking tap water or eating washed but uncooked fruit is considered unsafe for us &quot;westerners&quot;. But in this case, simply letting the bottles dry wouldn't suffice, you'd have to &quot;sterilize&quot; them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-05-13T12:34:36.957" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T12:34:36.957" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20102" CreationDate="2015-05-13T12:51:51.910" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To reduce the online game addiction &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Behavioral therapy can help a gamer move past the addiction. Therapy can help the compulsive person refocus thoughts and energy on different activities instead of gaming. If a gamer has been immersed in an extensive gaming community, spending time with other people who are also playing video games, it may be necessary to change the gamer’s physical environment for a period of time to institute new habits and thought processes. A residential treatment facility could provide this temporary environment to help a person move past video game compulsions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help the young person realise they have a problem by looking at how they feel about school, their friends, socialising face to face and participating in other activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure the computer is not in their bedroom but a common area of the house like the lounge or rumpus room so that they cannot hide away and play all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Computer games should be played in free time so help decide when free time is and what other commitments they might have (e.g. chores, homework, other activities).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go to bed earlier and earlier. Often, someone addicted to computer games will stay up late. Get them to go to bed earlier each day, so instead of the early hours of the morning it is a reasonable time in the evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Replace computer time with more productive activities. They can exercise, read, place board games or do something else that stimulates and interests them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage them to go out with their friends more. Friends are important in life: they’re there to support you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastEditorUserId="13178" LastEditDate="2016-08-12T06:27:09.337" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T06:27:09.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1672" CreationDate="2015-05-13T13:41:27.623" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I go for work i will be busy in my work after reaching home. When I get time I spend the whole day with my DS. I just find it hard for the activities but I go online for the activities so that I can engage my kid and has lot of fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to share few of the activities that i do with my son. I use to play&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Indoor basket ball: This one of the best game for the toddlers were they can have lot of exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cardboard box car I make a car with the cardboard box. Take big box and turn it into a car for your kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paintings: My kids love doing this activity. Every kid would be attracted towards colors. So most of the time my kid will be doing paintings. &#xA;For kids painting with the bubbles &lt;a href=&quot;http://artful-kids.com/blog/2012/02/02/3-ways-to-paint-with-bubbles/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://artful-kids.com/blog/2012/02/02/3-ways-to-paint-with-bubbles/&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pillow jump: As kids love to jump on the pillow so make a small playground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play with the musical jars&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coloring pages As this also one of the best activity were kids love doing this. So take any sheets and make our kids to color those with the crayons.&#xA;here is the cat coloring pages which i have made my kid to color those.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/cat-coloring-pages_00103938/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/cat-coloring-pages_00103938/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Playing with clay: Make any thing with the clay and paint them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T13:41:27.623" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-13T13:41:27.623" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2015-05-13T14:52:40.870" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, the best I've seen is to ask question. This process can also be done after the kid see a t.v. show or a movie. Even after playing in the playground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What did you think about this person?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you think that person was mean when they did this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why do you think they did that?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What would you do if it happen to you?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also makes it more engaging and fun than hearing an adult give a sermon. It'll also help his meta-thinking capability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure to actively listen and don't juge to much his thought, let him express himself. The goal is, after a while, to let him figure it out by himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T14:52:40.870" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2015-05-13T19:11:03.137" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could also treat this as a chance to understand literature.  Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast are medieval mutations of the ancient legend of Psyche and Cupid, in which the heroine (Psyche) has a much more active role.  Cinderella's conflict with her step mother was a medieval update of Psyche's struggle against the jealous Venus to win the hand of Cupid (or Prince Charming, as Disney would have it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyhow, I think many of these hidden meanings are modern reinterpretations that weren't in the original.  If you haven't, I would encourage you to read the Brother's Grim version and then read Psyche and Cupid - it's a great story and puts the tale in a whole new light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16182" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T19:11:03.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2015-05-13T20:20:40.020" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know your son, but I think if you started in on this kind of analysis of a fairy tale with him, within about 30 seconds he'd be saying, &quot;Dad, can I go watch TV now?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had plenty of times with my kids when we'd watch a cartoon or read a book and I'd make some comment about implications or interpretation that resemble the sort of things you say here. Like be watching a cartoon and say, &quot;Wow, he's supposed to be the good guy and he's lying and tricking everyone around him?&quot; My daughter once commented that the conversations we have about TV shows and movies are often more interesting than the movies -- or at least funnier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Watching TV or reading a book together can be an excellent opportunity for such conversations. You can toss in a casual comment to the effect of, &quot;Well, I doubt it would have worked out that way in real life.&quot; Make your point and then get back to the story so it's not a tedious lecture. I think there's a distinct advantage to using fictional characters for life lessons: you don't have to speak ill of any real people. If you say, &quot;Yes, your mother gets totally irrational sometimes and I just don't know how to deal with her&quot;, well, there's a problem there. But, &quot;Wow, the mother on this TV show is being totally irrational&quot;, now you're not attacking a real person that the child knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, how far you go in social or literary analysis depends on the maturity and interests of the child. I think your analysis here is a little over the top for a 10 year old. As someone else on here said, a little pessimistic too. Surely not every person who has a bad childhood ends up scarred for life and an emotional cripple. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the ideal would be that when your son gets close to the age where he will begin dating, that you make casual comments about the sort of things he should look for in a girlfriend. Don't give a lecture about all the psycho women who ruined your life. Just find an opportunity to toss in, &quot;You know, if you meet someone with emotional problems, don't be so sure that you can fix them.&quot; If he responds and wants to pursue the conversation, great. If not, let it drop. Lecturing your children on your philosophy of life is only effective when it's done in the right way and at the right moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T20:20:40.020" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2015-05-13T20:47:52.377" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children need fairy tales. They need simple moral instructions that convey the advantages of moral behavior in ways that are meaningful to them. They deal with universal problems that preoccupy children's minds, and for this reason are interesting to them (and adults as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fairy tales teach that if one does not shy away from, but instead meets steadfastly unexpected - and often unjust - hardships, one masters all obstacles and emerges victorious in the end. That’s one reason they often start with the death of a parent or some other existential dilemma. A complicated reading should just be confusing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fairy tales are little morality plays, not terribly different than Shakespeare's works in principle but very different in depth of understanding of human nature. Most people wouldn't dream of reading and explaining a Shakespeare play (which really delves into psychology and deeper meanings) to a 10-year-old child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son can't deal with your interpretation of Cinderella, because he doesn't have the wisdom to understand it. What you would be doing is trying to dump many years of life experience onto a poor child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;he may get the wrong impression that it is easy to be together with a real-life Cinderella, i. e. that you can improve the life of a &quot;broken&quot; woman without investing enormous amount of time, energy, love, money and sometimes major sacrifices in lost career/business opportunities. A real-life Prince Charming would need - besides a genuine love to Cinderella, which borders on insanity - a couple of decades of intensive work to heal Cinderella's wounds (based on my experience). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To use myths as an example (also incredibly valuable tools for kids), unlike Athena, the goddess of wisdom who bursts forth fully formed and adult from her father Zeus' head, wisdom for most of us comes only with long years of introspection. Many parents want their children's minds to work like their own does; they want them to bypass those daily struggles and growth experiences and just be wise. It's a fruitless exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read him fairy tales. They are valuable. There's a reason right now that he's attracted to Cinderella that you, most likely, cannot understand because you don't understand the world the way your son does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Can there be any harm to my son in&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;telling him that there are many ways to look at that fairy tale and  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;explain to him, how I interpret it (and why I don't like it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes. You will be robbing him of constructs that his 10 year old mind can benefit from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales by Bruno Bettelheim: A famous child psychologist explains how fairy tales educate, support, and liberate the emotions of children.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-15T20:22:41.133" LastActivityDate="2018-09-15T20:22:41.133" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20116" CreationDate="2015-05-13T21:17:25.503" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may possibly affect the milk supply, but not substantially or permanently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/tc/breast-engorgement-topic-overview&quot;&gt;Engorgement&lt;/a&gt; is caused by the increase in milk production, which fill up the breasts. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pamf.org/children/newborns/feeding/engorgement.html&quot;&gt;It can also be caused by&lt;/a&gt; swollen lymph nodes and excess other fluids as a result of labor and delivery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expressing or pumping enough milk to relieve the discomfort was recommended to us not only by a number of websites, but by our own professional lactation consultant (a physician).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's important to realize that since not all the discomfort is being caused by excess milk, expressing milk alone may not be sufficient to relieve the discomfort. As such, you should be careful to not express an excessive amount when trying to relieve discomfort, when other methods may be necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our physicians have all recommended the continued use of my wife's prescribed anti-inflammatory medication (ibuprofen), and cold/ice packs after feedings, in order to treat the swelling and inflammation not caused my excess milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I've been unable to find any studies or facts regarding the effects expressing milk during engorgement, I was able to find a somewhat &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/27/2/314.short&quot;&gt;related study&lt;/a&gt;. Unfortunately, I only have access to the abstract, but it's currently sufficient enough for me as other resources are in agreement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This study tested the influence of the number of feedings and total feeding times on the milk supply. It confirmed that reducing feedings reduces milk supply, and increasing feedings increases milk supply. What is interesting is that the increases to milk supply were not observed for approximately 48 hours after the increased feeding amounts. I believe this is assuming that the increased amount is held constant (and not done sporadically as you may do to relieve discomfort).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, if there is an increase to milk supply, the 48 hours it takes to happen may put the increase &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; engorgement has subsided for some women.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For our family, we will keep pumping open as an option for relieving discomfort without worry about a cycle of overproduction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T21:17:25.503" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18950" CreationDate="2015-05-13T21:29:38.263" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's what you do For the little guy. For his night terrors give him 1 to 2 small square of dark chocolate candy 2 to 3 hours before  bedtime every night. Believe me this works it's stops the trigger of any night terrors from happening. Now remember it must be dark chocolate candy Of high grade percentage. His fears will stop once his night terrors are gone. I encourage all parents with children that have night terrors to try dark chocolate. It's cheap and it works. Remember this is a daily regiment before bedtime. If you stop the daily regiment the night terrors will come back again. Give it a shot help your kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16184" LastActivityDate="2015-05-13T21:29:38.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20111" CreationDate="2015-05-14T08:50:13.227" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not well experienced, but I would like share my thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't try to give advice. Be simple. Kids are not like computer chips came along with pre-defined programs. They observe from their surroundings.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;So, try to analyze yourself whether you are responsible; if yes, look at your son's neighbors and friends. Somewhere something is going wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Since you are saying that you are sitting on his shoulder I guess you are dominating him. Kids are very innocent and they can't react immediately when you ride them. Instead this will create depression.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Forgetting to ask may come from other reasons also; he may dislike his master for some reason. Approach him in a friendly manner and try to know his mind.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Rewind your life.  How many things did you forgot in your life? I think forgetting to ask something is a normal kind of behavior. When he forgot the first time, or second or third, you might have behaved very harshly with him. This might have created negative thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, don't expect perfection and maturity from an 11 year old son.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Love your Son, he will give you back, This love will bring the intention to fulfill your needs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't sit on his shoulder. Hold his hand and walk together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy:-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry if anything hurts you &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14392" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-05-31T06:38:30.123" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T06:38:30.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20143" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20144" CreationDate="2015-05-14T09:45:29.353" Score="3" ViewCount="284" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was quite recently ill with a virus, which caused vomiting and lengthy periods of feeling very sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems to have made her frightened of the sickness feelings. Now when she has a more mild illness (i.e. nausea, slight diarrhea, no vomiting), she is distressed by the sickness feelings, waking up in panic several times a night. She feels a little better when she calms down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help her to overcome her fear of sickness feelings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16188" LastEditorUserId="16188" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T12:11:59.220" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T12:11:59.220" Title="How can I help a ten year old girl not to be frightened of feeling sick?" Tags="|middle-childhood|fears|sickness|anxiety|vomiting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20143" CreationDate="2015-05-14T10:24:57.857" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emetophobiahelp.org/fact-sheet.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Emetophobia&lt;/a&gt; is unfortunately very common.  (The reference linked starts with the DSM-IV definition of emetophobia.  For those who cannot click through, it's a phobia of vomiting.)  Before we get to the plethora of links, I want to strongly recommend a therapist, one who is familiar with the treatment of phobias and panic disorders.  Any therapist who downplays the severity of emetophobia, or who may suffer from it themselves, will probably not be a helper.  Most emetophobes exhibit panic episodes, like what you describe above for your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like other phobias, however, it can be overcome.  There are several different methods of treatment: I personally (and my daughter, 6) used hypnosis to overcome emetophobia. Others have reported success with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.emdr.com/general-information/what-is-emdr.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;EMDR&lt;/a&gt;, CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) and other types of therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Please give your daughter internet hugs from me and my daughter.  She's strong and can make it through this.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T10:24:57.857" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20146" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-14T10:46:54.873" Score="16" ViewCount="30007" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 15 and her boyfriend is 17. They are having sex and I'm not sure if I want her to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, her boyfriend is a drug dealer, but she thinks that he is cool because he makes a lot of money off it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I can do? Help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16191" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-06-02T03:41:49.227" LastActivityDate="2017-06-02T03:41:49.227" Title="My 15-year-old daughter is having sex with her boyfriend who is a drug dealer" Tags="|teen|relationships|sex|drugs|sexual-consent|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20146" CreationDate="2015-05-14T12:29:53.480" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could tell her that she thinks her boyfriend is cool, but he really is not because he ruins lives. That &lt;strong&gt;might&lt;/strong&gt; stop her. You could additionally forbid her to see him, but I'm not sure that will stop her. &#xA;Basically go over to your daughter and tell her that he boyfriend is a bad person.  Or go over to him and say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You're a mean person&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14423" LastEditorUserId="13980" LastEditDate="2015-05-20T12:33:38.413" LastActivityDate="2015-05-20T12:33:38.413" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20146" CreationDate="2015-05-14T12:43:42.957" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there anything you can do?  Not really.  I'd say talk to your daughter and make it clear that you know what she's doing, you're not happy about it then go onto making sure she stays protected while having sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's probable this will just end in time and then you'll be there to console your daughter however, you could talk to her and suggest that she turns him down once or twice.  Then she'll see what is the likely real reason he's with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't ban her from seeing him.  He'll become forbidden fruit and just start seeing him behind your back instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're absolutely sure that you want to end the relationship (something I wouldn't recommend because she'll blame you) and don't think your daughter will listen then you could, as a last resort only (and this is if you have proof that he is either a) a drug dealer or b) having sex with your underage daughter), call the authorities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16168" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T12:43:42.957" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6409" CreationDate="2015-05-14T12:59:39.397" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old son was the one who told me that I was pregnant when I didn't even know I can't explain how he knew but he sure did. He pointed at my belly and said baby he did that a few times a day I decided to get a pregnancy test and he was right I'm 7 weeks pregnant and still amazed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16192" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T12:59:39.397" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16226" CreationDate="2015-05-14T13:55:36.517" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a two year old son who we allow to watch videos on YouTube for a limited duration.&#xA;I flipped round the experience by getting him to help me create nursery rhymes by singing along and watching me animate the characters! &lt;a href=&quot;https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3vxDytRos9k&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3vxDytRos9k&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly agree that YouTube viewing must be supervised, as Ida and Supernumary said you can soon find unsuitable content by clicking on fairly innocent looking thumbnails.&#xA;Also, I believe interacting while viewing is important. Get your kids to sing along, or ask them what their favourite vehicles / toys / animals are on the video they are watching. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16193" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T13:55:36.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20146" CreationDate="2015-05-14T14:51:42.093" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;There isn't much you can do to &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; a change in their relationship. You can establish curfews, household rules, and so on, but unless you plan to watch her every minute of every day, she'll find a way to break a rule that you put in place. While she is certainly not an adult yet, your daughter's old enough to make some decisions on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to end this relationship is to get her to end it, and have her look at it in a realistic, mature way. Emphasize the reasons that you are worried, and get her to really think about these issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be necessary to get a different adult involved in the conversation — a godparent, a favorite aunt, a school counselor somebody. The knee-jerk reaction of teens is &quot;you don't understand me&quot; and she may be less dismissive if these hard, important questions are brought up by somebody else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Safe Sex.&lt;/strong&gt; Is he wearing a condom every single time, &lt;em&gt;regardless&lt;/em&gt; of whether she's taking an oral birth control? Sexually transmitted disease is a big risk in addition to pregnancy. And &lt;strong&gt;pregnancy&lt;/strong&gt; can happen even when multiple forms of contraception are in place. Is she ready to raise a baby? Is she ready to have to face the choice of abortion or teen motherhood? Does she have money saved up in preparation for either option? Is her boyfriend going to be a good parent to their child financially and emotionally for the next eighteen years? Where are they going to live? What will her educational and career path be like when the complication of parenthood is introduced?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Legal consequences for him.&lt;/strong&gt; Depending on the age of consent where you live, their relationship may qualify as statutory rape. Is he so committed to their relationship that he wants to run that risk? Is he interested in hanging out with her in non-sexual contexts until she's older? (While these are sort of questions &quot;for him,&quot; ask her to think about them, think about what she'd want his responses to be, think about what his actual responses would be...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Legal consequences for her.&lt;/strong&gt; Dating a drug dealer isn't just a matter of having a rich, bad-boy boyfriend. Has he ever asked her to carry anything related to his business (drugs, customer money, paraphernalia like rolling paper or empty baggies)? Does he have any of those items in his car when she's riding in it? Even if it's just as innocent as &quot;being in the car&quot; there's a chance she'll be caught up in any subsequent criminal charges (and if she's got anything on her person, it's a &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; bigger deal). Legal trouble — fines, community service, jail time, a criminal record that could potentially follow her throughout college and job applications — creates many short- and long-term repercussions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will he nobly take all the blame for drugs and any associated paraphernalia? (The criminal justice system may not care.) Will he put all the blame on her and say he has no idea where the stuff came from? Will he just not bother saying anything? Will he pay for her legal representation as well as his?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;General safety and ethics.&lt;/strong&gt; In the course of his &quot;job&quot; he likely deals with a fair amount of dangerous people. If he's in a dispute with somebody, does she want to be around if things get violent? Even if she isn't around for those (hopefully rare) events, does she understand he's profiting from other people's addiction and sickness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-14T16:20:22.837" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T16:20:22.837" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-14T19:10:49.047" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took a roll of pennies and spray painted them gold so they couldn't get mixed up/mistaken for normal money. These were &quot;pirate coins&quot; or &quot;treasure&quot;. I used them to reward extra good behavior and routine tasks that they needed some motivation for (1 penny for doing a good job brushing teeth, 1 penny for sorting laundry, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were several benefits from doing rewards this way. First is that since there was no intrinsic value to them, I could decide what they were worth. My children would ask me &quot;how many gold pennies would this cost?&quot; If it was something I wanted them to &quot;buy&quot; (healthy food that they liked at the supermarket, the right to choose where we went to dinner on our night out, chapter books, etc.) I set the price fairly low, and if it was something I didn't want them to have (candy, comic books, etc.) the price was high. That way they always knew they could get something if they &lt;em&gt;absolutely&lt;/em&gt; wanted it but I stacked the deck in the favor of the healthy choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A secondary benefit: no more &quot;mommy mommy buy me this please mommy...&quot; when we are at the store. I just ask them if they have enough gold pennies to buy what they want. If they do and they are willing to pay, they get what they want.  No arguments.  And no credit. If they want something and don't have enough to earn it, give them a task and say &quot;as soon as you have enough earned I'll bring you back here and we'll buy it.&quot; Inevitably by the time they have enough, they've decided they want something else instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, my son and my daughter have developed extremely different spending patterns according to their personalities. Money burns a hole in my son's pocket. If he has any money at all he spends it on the first impulse item he sees and wants. This has carried over into his early teen years, unfortunately. I think it is a product of his early life in an extremely poor rural Chinese orphanage (he was 4-1/2 when we adopted him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is a hoarder. She once saved 200 pennies (averaging a little over 1 per day) and decided she wanted to spend it on a vacation to Disneyland for the whole family. Eventually her hoard got so large I was spray painting nickels, dimes and quarters, but it was a great way to encourage her to learn about money. Her habits were also due to her early childhood (she was a &quot;good&quot; child according to the orphanage -&gt; translate -&gt; she didn't cry so we could leave her in her crib by herself and she taught herself not to want anything).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose I could have used real money but I think that would have been a very bad idea in my son's case. Offered the choice between ten dollars worth of fruit (which he loves) and a candy bar (which he loves even more) I could never predict which way he'd fall. If he'd had a dollar and been given the choice between $1 worth of fruit and $1 worth of candy he'd have gone for the candy every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-07T17:29:50.307" LastActivityDate="2018-07-07T17:29:50.307" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20102" CreationDate="2015-05-14T19:38:01.577" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eleven year old was getting to the point that I would consider him addicted.  He was either on the computer playing an online game or he was watching TV, which I considered even worse.  At least there's some brain activity required for online gaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we asked him to do things (get ready for bed, bring your clothes down to be washed, come down to eat dinner) he was sullen and all his attention was on getting the least amount done he could before he was allowed to get back to his activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally I put my foot down.  I told him that watching TV and playing online games was a privilege, not a right, and that he had been abusing it.  The computer got password protected.  The movies were put away on a shelf downstairs.  From that moment on, he had to earn every hour of electronics.  He got fifteen minutes a day for &quot;routine&quot; activities (getting up, brushing teeth, getting his own breakfast) - this was my freebie, kind of like a nicotine patch as he had been used to 2-4 hours a day.  Everything else was earned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband thought I was being too harsh but he quickly changed his tune :)  From day one we both noticed a HUGE difference in my son's attitude.  Gone was the sullen boy who considered everything but electronics an imposition on his play time.  Now, he frequently asks me &quot;what can I do to earn more time?&quot; and he has a positive attitude as he is working because he knows he's going to be rewarded for it.  He also has learned to ration his time better, and a lack of electronics has forced him to find other things to do (he has spend the last three weekends camping with his scout troop).  I think he also enjoys his electronics time more because he feels he has earned it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T19:38:01.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20081" CreationDate="2015-05-14T19:45:43.770" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children crave control.  I had a friend whose son had a similar behavior, only instead of screaming he'd yell &quot;Boo!&quot; or &quot;Hey!&quot;  He liked the way it made people jump, and it drove her crazy.  She finally decided to deal with it by putting in light earplugs so that she could still hear but the sound wasn't enough to make her jump, then she made it a point to pay extra attention to him when he wasn't yelling, and to go do housework or something else around him but not interacting with him, every time he yelled.  It took a couple of months but she finally has got the behavior licked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T19:45:43.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20157" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20160" CreationDate="2015-05-14T19:49:38.397" Score="1" ViewCount="8693" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the good cop at home when it comes to our 18 month old daughter. Today, I tried to tell her &quot;no, you can't walk with that bottle&quot; because she already broke twice and this is the third one, but she immediately started crying her heart out (reference to Oasis by the way). I never yell at her, I never hit her or anything but she starts crying when I tell her &quot;no&quot;. How should I handle this situation? I must add that she is quite fond of me (the father).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14423" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T20:08:40.050" Title="My daughter cries when I tell her &quot;no&quot;" Tags="|toddler|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20157" CreationDate="2015-05-14T19:56:29.547" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you telling her &quot;no&quot; in this context was inconsistent with the usual rules, then I would try to explain to her (as much as is possible to an 18 mo old) why you said &quot;no.&quot; That is unless based on previous rules you should have said &quot;yes&quot; in which case, I would explain to her that you made a mistake and make up for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the &quot;no&quot; was consistent with already established rules, then her crying is both normal and an important part of her learning the world around her. Toddlers will always want to be given everything they ask for and allowed to do anything they want to do. Teaching them that the world doesn't work that way earlier rather than later is the best possible preparation for life you can give them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for what you do about the crying, that depends on the child. My daughter who is a natural born communicator was almost always consoled by explanation even when it was clear she didn't understand it fully. My son who is definitely not a natural born communicator would only be aggravated by any attempts at consolation, and so the best thing for him was to just walk away and let him find his own calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16155" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T19:56:29.547" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18950" CreationDate="2015-05-14T20:00:31.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine had a son who was terrified of being in his room alone, and was constantly having nightmares.  For his birthday (with his mother's approval) I gave him a gun that made a sound and lit up when the trigger was pressed.  I told him it was a super-anti-monster gun and that all monsters were afraid of it because if you shot them with it they would disintegrate.  Apparently it helped, although they had to deal with hearing the gun go off in the middle of the night a couple of times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had another friend who dealt with the issue by telling her daughter that sugar was poisonous to monsters, so every night they would sprinkle some on the floor on her room so monsters would stay away.  Not something I'd recommend, they ended up with an ant infestation :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fear is all in his imagination, so the cure can be found there as well.  You might try giving him a special flashlight that will scare monsters away or make them &quot;vanish forever&quot; or a bag of toy soldiers that can be put around his room on sentry duty.  Or get a can of air freshener and call it a &quot;good dreams maker&quot; and let him spray it in his room at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, that being said, if his fears are coming from something outside of his own fertile imagination (and please don't assume that if there's something going on he'll necessarily be able to tell you about it) you might want to think about taking him to a therapist.  Dreaming is the way we process the day's events, and bad dreams are often the way we deal with childhood traumas that we can't process openly.  I had constant nightmares as a child.  Now I can look back and see that there were things going on in my life that caused them and if I had had a way to address those issues directly I wouldn't have had them ambushing me every night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T20:00:31.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20157" CreationDate="2015-05-14T20:08:40.050" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've always found a distraction better than a &quot;no&quot; for a very young child.  Should she have the bottle, just not in motion?  Find a way to encourage her to drink from it in an appropriate place.  Is she done with the bottle and it needs to be taken away?  Find a favorite toy or favorite food or something else that she likes, and just spirit the bottle away once her attention is off it.  If she refuses to give the bottle up without a fight offer to trade her for something she likes (food, probably).  When my daughter was that age she was very into making &quot;deals&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they get older you can start &quot;laying down the law&quot; and teaching lessons about obedience, but she's too young yet to being making a big fuss over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T20:08:40.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20093" CreationDate="2015-05-14T20:19:00.550" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very definitely a codependent relationship, if he so strenuously resists when his contact with her is restricted.  Time to get a therapist involved.  If he needs some kind of incentive to go, explain to him that his girlfriend is in danger and that she needs help.  But no matter how much he wants to, he has no training.  Help him think about all the things that could go wrong, how saying one wrong word or doing one thing which is taken the wrong way (I'll bet he's already found this out) can cause something bad to happen for both of them.  He needs to learn how to help the people he loves when they are in danger, and this therapist can help him do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then let the therapist do his thing.  Assuming you find a good one he'll be able to bring your son into a healthier frame of mind, whatever that may be in his situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T20:19:00.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20111" CreationDate="2015-05-14T20:39:03.267" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might look into whether he has some ADHD going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The complaints you have about him sound a lot like my mother's complaints.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was always losing things, forgetting things.  I would come home from playing all day and my Mom would say &quot;Francine, where are your shoes?&quot;  Then it would come back to me that at some point in the day I had been wearing shoes.  I lost so many coats and hats I'm sure they wanted to just stop buying them for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It drove her crazy.  She was always upset at me for being lazy and careless.  But I never &lt;em&gt;meant&lt;/em&gt; to be those things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of years ago, I discovered that I had severe ADHD.  It had never occurred to me.  I took the ADHD test and came in at the 95%.  In other words, very severe.  I was told that the symptoms of ADHD are directly offset by a high intelligence so if you were highly intelligent your symptoms were likely to be mistaken for carelessness (mine used to test out in the 140-160 range)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case with your son, no amount of punishment is going to make a difference.  Speaking from experience.  And getting help sooner may prevent him from developing a lot of the side effects of ADHD (low self esteem, anxiety, procrastination, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because I had a hard time shutting out multiple stimuli I developed the ability to &quot;hyper focus&quot;.  When he is playing a video game does he seem to ignore you?  Maybe he can't hear you.  The same thing used to happen to me when I was reading; I literally could not &lt;em&gt;hear&lt;/em&gt; people talking to me when I was lost in a book.  People with ADHD often play video games compulsively because it gives them relief from having their brains at the mercy of every passing stimulus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has ADHD, the reason he loses things is that the moment he stops thinking about them they cease to exist, and the normal mechanism that people have for remembering a thing that is important but which they aren't currently thinking about...is gone.  I cannot even describe how frustrating it is for me.  I have learned never to carry anything that isn't attached.  I wear a fanny pack instead of a purse.  My keys are attached to my belt loop.  I only take things off at night just before I go to bed, and put them on first thing in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no cure for ADHD.  You can only treat the symptoms.  It may be that I am entirely off base and your son is just careless, but I would rather waste my time writing advice that is unneeded, than see another child go through what I did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T16:21:27.307" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T16:21:27.307" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19998" CreationDate="2015-05-14T21:20:20.427" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking as a person from an extended family whose religion is different from my own, I think you have to decide whether you want to bring out into the forefront the fact that you have &quot;strayed from the faith&quot;.  In my case, my family is Catholic and I'm Protestant.  Our cases are similar; Catholics don't believe anyone is going to heaven unless they are Catholic (since they don't confess, don't take the Eucharist, etc) so in the eyes of my parents I am close to being an atheist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last Christmas, my parents gave us Catholic bibles.  I understand their motivation; they are trying to save our souls.  I try to show them the same tolerance that I would want for myself, and just smile as I receive their gifts.  I could have made a fuss, but what would that have accomplished?  They are well aware of my choices, but they keep hoping I'll change my mind and this is the only thing they can think of to do it without starting up a big fight.  Maybe if you give in to them in little ways you'll give them an outlet so things don't spill over in big ways (this has worked for us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does your family know you are atheist?  If so, blatantly telling them you don't want their crosses or Bibles or whatever you are anticipating they might give you, will at the very least make them feel rejected.  If they don't know, is the firestorm that might result worth the dubious benefit of maybe getting something you want more?  This is something you need to decide how you want to deal with now, as it won't go away after the baby shower.  There is Christmas (assuming that you celebrate it), your child's birthdays, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask yourself; what is my goal?  To get better stuff?  To get them to accept my choice?  The first is possibly attainable, but at a cost.  The second, not so much.  Saying that you are doing it so that they don't &quot;waste money&quot; is kind of a dodge; they're going to be spending the money no matter what they get.  If you want better stuff there's no great shame in that; &quot;own&quot; your own motivations and you'll be more comfortable with your choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we adopted my daughter, we gave her the middle name &quot;Maria&quot; because we knew it would make my parents happy.  It is a family tradition to give middle names after a child's &quot;patron saint&quot;.  My Dad's middle name is Maria (pronounced MAR-ee-a) and my sister's also (pronounced Mar-EE-a).  Do we believe that the mother of God is especially watching our daughter because she is her &quot;patron saint&quot;.  No.  But it makes my parents happy to think so.  Same thing with the icon they brought back from Italy; it sits over our daughter's bed.  It was a present from Grandma.  I don't worry that she's going to &quot;turn Catholic&quot; because I put a picture up over her bed.  And I know how happy it makes my mother to see it when she comes over, as she feels that the picture somehow protects my daughter.  Why would I want to deny her that just to prove some kind of theological point?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does it make you upset that they might think there's still a chance that they can save your soul?  Then maybe you might want to think about whether you are really secure in your choice.  If it doesn't upset you, then why deny your family the comfort of thinking that you are still redeemable?  If I had parents who were atheists and they gave me a book about atheism as a gift I would probably roll my eyes in private but be gracious toward them, if I felt they genuinely had my best interests at heart.  Now, if they were pushy about it, trying to intimidate me into their point of view I'd be more inclined to be upset...but that's a problem a lot bigger than &quot;what gifts am I going to get at this baby shower?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-14T21:20:20.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20146" CreationDate="2015-05-14T23:14:51.487" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;she thinks that he is cool because he makes a lot of money off it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most likely, he's spinning yarns about the money in drug dealing and she's falling for it because she watches too much TV. Studies indicate that low-level drug dealers make $20k-$30k per year. While that's a lot for a 17-year-old, it is not very much money at all by adult standards; pretty much anyone who goes to college is going to make more, let alone students bright enough for the STEM track. Income-wise, her boyfriend is just a notch above minimum wage, and has a high chance of being busted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The specific suggestion here is to leave aside matters of morality regarding dating a drug dealer and/or being in a relationship primarily for the money and simply emphasize the fact that there isn't that much money in drug dealing, at least for low-level dealers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastEditorUserId="14451" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T04:58:24.897" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T04:58:24.897" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2015-05-15T03:14:52.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If what you're making is nutritionally on-target and there are no allergy issues, continue serving only what everyone else is eating. You'd be surprised how un-picky kids become when they realize they're not going to get their way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T11:20:49.593" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T11:20:49.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2015-05-15T03:31:45.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our approach has been to put on our daughter's plate what we expect to count as supper.  Then it's up to her whether or not she wants to eat it, but if she does not she cannot move on to any snacking/desert or anything like that.  Then we don't have to fight with her about it though.  The rule is that she cannot have a snack later if she doesn't eat her meal now, and it's her choice if she wants to eat the meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She still gets upset about it at times, but it's fairly easy to deflect it as &quot;it's your choice whether or not to eat it, we don't really care, but you know the consequences if you don't.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T03:31:45.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19526" CreationDate="2015-05-15T09:57:55.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally I've been able to feel fetal movement since very early and again to confirm @anongoodnurses' excellent answer the amount and nature of fetus &lt;em&gt;activity&lt;/em&gt; (insofar as I can feel it) seems to have a direct relationship with my level of activity and physical state. Less so my mental/emotional state.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two cases for comparison recently of my sense of &quot;stress&quot; compared to fetus behaviour:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 5 months pregnant I went on a large (last) round-the-world work trip and was very concerned for baby. Despite sleeping as much as possible, I was exhausted and found the travelling difficult. But while her activity schedule was shifted by timezones, baby seemed very happy and well, and seemed to enjoy the amount of walking I needed to do (no discomfort or aggressive activity from her at any stage -- only normal expected behavior) despite my personal fatigue and sometimes sense of duress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, at 6 months pregnant (and a programmer) I pulled a coding all-nighter -- something I used to do regularly but have not done since pregnant -- rest assured I've been very well rested all pregnancy and felt mentally and physically good or wouldn't have gone through with it. OTOH baby &lt;em&gt;hated&lt;/em&gt; it, even though I felt good: on the afternoon of the sleepless day I suffered through 2 hours of very uncomfortable, aggressive tossing-and-turning and then the following day (after a good night's sleep) she went quiet for many hours -- I was ready to call the midwife I was so concerned, but I could feel some small movement. Within a few days she's returned to perfectly normal activity and schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16173" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T09:57:55.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20169" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20186" CreationDate="2015-05-15T11:17:15.000" Score="11" ViewCount="2064" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a good history of obstructed births in my family; something to do with pelvises apparently. My grandmother had problems, my mother wasn't able to have any of us 4 without c-sections after labor (which nearly killed my younger sister) and a 1st cousin recently needed an emergency c-section for the same reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if I'm affected by the same genetic condition, and won't know until the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly I've talked to the midwife about this twice and she doesn't seems to think it's a big deal. I don't even think there's a note in my file. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pros and cons of c-sections are immaterial here, obviously I would prefer to have the child naturally if possible, but I'm realistic. I'd assumed it would be OK to try naturally, and if things start to go at all difficult to opt for a c-section. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently heard that it is less stressful on both mother and baby (with faster recovery time) to just &lt;em&gt;choose&lt;/em&gt; a c-section rather than to have an &lt;em&gt;emergency&lt;/em&gt; c-section.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;how do I respectfully handle this with the midwife and the hospital? How do I tactfully make them fully aware that I'm not paranoid, this is a genuine risk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I better just requesting a c-section (though I'd rather not for health and hormones)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worst case scenario, at what point on the day would I &quot;pull the pin&quot; and seriously ask for a c-section? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand should I just have blind faith in my health care professionals? I want to, I absolutely trust in the profession and believe in them -- but the health of my unborn child is paramount to me and I want to do everything I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite my pregnancy being ideal so far, after listening to the family horror-stories, I honestly believe there's a good chance I'll be end up on the chopping board. Either way I just want what is healthiest for us and to know what my options and rights are, while having utmost respect for the hardworking professionals involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those curious to the outcome: the baby chose. After 29-hours of labor (having we believe both &quot;Passenger&quot; and &quot;Passage&quot; complications). She became distressed and it was a painless decision between me, my team and the professionals involved to have the caesarian as soon as possible. After the necessary epidural anaesthetic it all happened like a machine. Overall it was a stressful day, but it usually is. Note that we chose a major public hospital that performed C-sections. The (purportedly &quot;nicer&quot;) insurance preferred choice wasn't able to and we would have required a (likely unpleasant) transfer. Having chosen to be at a place to perform the operation limited our options, but fortunately the public hospital completely exceeded expectations, with freshly renovated maternity ward with all the mod-cons and many (free) days in hospital to ensure everyone was fine. Everyone is thriving in the end. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16173" LastEditorUserId="16173" LastEditDate="2019-01-27T11:47:34.283" LastActivityDate="2019-01-27T11:47:34.283" Title="At what point should I choose to have a c-section?" Tags="|birth|c-section|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20169" CreationDate="2015-05-15T11:29:41.797" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you feel you aren't being heard by your birth team, and there's time, I would strongly recommend seeking out a second opinion or an advocate to help you BE heard.   Do you have the option of finding a doula?  Having a doula helped me tremendously in my first pregnancy, as I was bucking the medical establishment in my birth plan.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do not feel you have enough time until the impending birth to find an advocate, maybe it's time to drop the 'respectfully' part of your request and let them know this is a genuine concern and you would like it addressed ASAP.  If you can, maybe bring along someone who is familiar with the birth history of your family (mother, family doctor, etc.) who can help you stress the urgency of this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I had a c-section for my second child (placenta previa); it was planned out with the OBs prior to my son's scheduling his delivery.  At times I did have to go back to them and stress things that were of concern to me about my son's health and my recovery, and I found that a direct approach was more productive than trying to worry about anyone's feelings.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T11:29:41.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20169" CreationDate="2015-05-15T11:44:18.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Giving birth naturally puts a huge strain on your body and is exhausting, and having an operation also puts a huge strain on your body and is exhausting. Having both one after the other is a significant strain and takes a lot longer to recover from. This is why many women who have a high potential for a c-section will opt for an elective rather than try to push and then need one anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think unless there are x-rays of your pelvis that can be measured you won't know how much space there is for your baby to get out, and health care professionals are very reluctant to x-ray an expecting mother. So it's unlikely they'd do this for you. If you have had previous x-rays of your pelvis then you could ask for them to be evaluated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how to proceed without that information I'd say it's your personal choice. The doctors and midwives really have no idea on this one; in this case you have more information than them and are in a better position to decide whether to have an elective or not. Stick to your guns on it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you decide to go for a natural birth there isn't really a time-frame to say &quot;now I want a c-section&quot;, the doctors and midwives will monitor your situation and have lots of experience of when it is time to move it to the operating table. What you would want to do is tell the medical staff when you go in that your family history is full of emergency c-sections because of pelvis size and they will keep it in mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T14:17:27.210" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T14:17:27.210" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="741" CreationDate="2015-05-15T12:18:43.447" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old daughter and 3 year son are both in highback booster seats. Both my kids grew out of their old car seats really quick. Both of their car seats have head restraints to keep their necks safe from impact's. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before I moved them to high back booster seats I talked to their pediatrician first. My daughter at 3 was at the height she needed to be for a high back booster seat. So I would talk to your pediatrician first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But also it sounds like he wants to be in a big boy seat like the kids he knows. As far as safety the high back booster seat uses the seat belts and u loop them through the top of the seat and then over his shoulder and lap just like it does on you. My kids love their high back booster seats. Plus they are so easy to move from one car to another. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16214" LastEditorUserId="9135" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T15:09:48.003" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T15:09:48.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20169" CreationDate="2015-05-15T13:27:41.043" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's not a lot of ways to know if you'll need a c-section or not before delivery. If your baby is breech, or if the placenta is too low, or other conditions then a c-section is basically required for a safe delivery, but apart from obvious indications, there's not a way to know for sure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two cousins who had c-sections, they had no idea they were going to need them. One had a failed induction and was two weeks past her due date. Her body just was refusing to go into labor. There was no way of predicting that. My other cousin had a failure to progress, which turned out to be because the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck a couple times, so the baby literally couldn't descend without strangling himself. Again, no way to predict that. Ultrasounds are only so sensitive and babies move around causing things to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your midwife is affiliated with an OB you should ask for a referral ASAP, as you want to make sure you like the doctor and learn more about what a c-section would entail and how/when it would be good to request one (particularly in light of the risk of whatever particular condition is common in your family). They are likely to have much more experience in seeing difficult births than midwives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not good if your providers think your concerns are paranoia, you deserve to have your concerns taken seriously. No provider should ever discourage you from asking questions or voicing concerns. Saying &quot;family history&quot; should be enough to make any decent health care provider listen as it's one of the best indicators of future health concerns there is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7102" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T13:27:41.043" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20093" CreationDate="2015-05-15T13:33:15.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a girl who came from an abusive house hold during this same age. I also have several sisters from a healthier household (I was adopted by other family). I also have a half brother in this age group. So I feel like Ive been in this situation in several ways and what I'm going to tell you may shock you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is perfectly normal teenage behavior. Its attention seeking. Almost no teenagers feel like they are truly understood / appreciated by their parents. If the girls parents are mean to her in some way, that feeling is multiplied and multiplied. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teenagers, especially girls I think, go through huge emotional mountains and valley's all the time, and many young girls tend to use that to stir up drama. So really if your wife has spoken to her and she seems 'Ok' then she is likely Ok. Remember that usually the kids who are bullied, truly depresses and do really want to hurt themselves tend to get quiet, not call their friends all night every night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I really doubt that you need any form of counseling or therapy for this situation. (Assuming there isn't actual abuse happening at the girls home.) Both kids are learning how to deal with emotional turmoil and they aren't handling it like calm adults yet. This is a practice run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What I would suggest:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not tell your son to not see the girl or he will try to stay with her twice as hard. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do keep communication open with both your son and his girlfriend. Listen and respect their feelings even if you don't agree with them (remember you were a teenager once, what stunts did you pull on your parents?) Maybe invite her over for dinner and talk to her about it in a non judgmental way. Perhaps tell her that no matter what you are always there if she ever really needs help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not accept staying up all night on the phone and not studying from your son. This is a disciplinary issue. If the girl really needs help (after a certain hour) she can call the house phone and talk to you. If her parents are beating her, you need to be involved not your son anyway. Take the phone away from your son and treat this like any other disciplinary issue. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last 2 cents, I remember having to date a few lemons to realize what I really wanted in a partner later in life. Don't fear the bad girlfriends because they could be clearing the way for that special someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T14:00:21.597" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T14:00:21.597" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20169" CreationDate="2015-05-15T14:42:33.497" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, not every section that happens after labour begins is an emergency C section. In an emergency section, the cut is vertical and large, and everyone is in kind of a panic. You might get a general if you don't have an epidural already in place. These things have a bigger impact on you. In a &quot;normal&quot; section, the cut is low, horizontal, and relatively small. This means less muscles are affected. You can have an epidural which means the dangers of a general are not in play, and you don't need to be intubated either. You will have more pain and damage from an emergency C section, but that doesn't mean your section needs to be scheduled. Normally, if labour is not going anywhere, the decision to do a section is pretty low key and they can take their time.  This is probably why your midwife is not too worried. &lt;strong&gt;You don't need to schedule a section to avoid an emergency section.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, this &quot;genetically we have small pelvises&quot; theory is probably not really true. But the way to find out is to go into labour. Maybe you won't dilate (&quot;failure to progress&quot;) and your labour won't become productive, in which case regardless of pelvis size, you'll get a section. Maybe you'll dilate but the baby won't descend, in which case you'll get a section. It's a decision that can be made once labour is well underway. The baby will be monitored the whole time, so stories in old books about babies being damaged by 24 hours of unproductive labour, oxygen deprivation etc are not really relevant: the very first signs of distress are what will cause people to come to you suggesting it's time for a section.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may just dilate, push, and have a baby. That would be the easiest, since you won't have to recover from surgery. Your midwife doubtless wants that outcome for you. You can ask her why she doesn't think your family history is a big deal - my guess is that there's not much correlation between family history of c sections and having one yourself - but it's important you two understand each other. If you are confident that you will get good advice while in labour and switch to a section should things not progress, you can relax and give your attention to labouring. If you don't have that confidence in the person or people who are there to help you through it, your number one priority now is to get it - by talking to them and explaining your worries, and hearing why they dismissed those worries, or by replacing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T14:42:33.497" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20178" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-05-15T17:16:15.427" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T17:16:15.427" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T17:16:15.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20179" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-05-15T17:16:15.427" Score="0" Body="Short for Cesarean section; the surgical procedure in which an incisions is made in the abdomen and uterus to deliver a baby." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-15T17:16:15.427" LastActivityDate="2015-05-15T17:16:15.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18950" CreationDate="2015-05-16T12:13:01.767" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was in college, I had a girlfriend who suffered from night terrors.  It sounds to me like your son isn't have &quot;night terrors&quot;, but having extremely bad dreams.  I don't want to correct you on this and I'm willing to take downvotes for this answer (first one on THIS exchange).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Night Terrors are very common and seem to be hereditary.  The person who is suffering from a night terror is usually being held down by a gremlin (in their dream) and are paralized with fear and the pressure of this gremlin.  The aren't able to breath as well because of the same gremlin.  People have reported seeing a white horse (A &quot;Night Mare&quot;) in their dreams and also someone standing over them, usually at the foot of the bed or in a door who they say is &quot;death himself&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's most fascinating about night terrors is that this is a recurring theme between cultures throughout the world, people who don't know eachother have the same dream.  There have even been &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hauntedamericatours.com/hauntedfurniture/hauntedpainting/henryfuseli/Night%20Terrors.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;amazing pieces of art depicting this&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways, enough of the history lesson.  While I was with my girlfriend, I did a little research and studying.  I came up with a way to stop her night terrors INSTANTLY.  I did some research on her and found that her night terrors would normally last 3 minutes before she would start trying to scream out in her dream, which would come out as loud whimpers and moans.  My test involved waving a card sprayed with a scent that she had a strong affinity for over her nose when she started to have a night terror.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In her case, she had a very strong GOOD memory when she smelled Curve Cologne.  She thought of me, who would keep her safe.  She explained that when I waved the card over her nose, the night terror would INSTANTLY go away and she would start dreaming of me instead.  I knew, at least, the night terror would go away because I could see and hear her settle down immediately.  She would relax (still asleep), no whimpering, moaning, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then, I met my wife and found that she had the same night terrors.  I did this same experiment with her with the same instant success, though with a different scent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, about your son.  The advice given already is amazing.  I wanted to give you some of my studies and research.  This may require some work on your part, where you will have to stay in your son's room until he starts having a nightmare then wave a strong specific scent in his face.  Does he have a good memory to your parfume, oranges, cut grass, etc.? when you notice him tossing and turning, wave a scent over his nose.  If he's anything like my &quot;experiments&quot;, he should settle down right away.  Eventually he won't be afraid to go to sleep, and possibly may train him to think of those good things while he's asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing I was able to help my wife with is when she was having a bad dream (rather than a night terror), I was able to get her to just &quot;wiggle her toe&quot;.  If you can remember the simplest little thing (&quot;wiggle your toe&quot;), it's a good way to start lucid dreaming.  The advice above about your son knowing what to do in those situations would be great, especially if he can start to lucid dream.  If you can teach him to control his dreams first, then he can start to &lt;strong&gt;be a super hero&lt;/strong&gt; (suggested from another post).   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck with this.  My son is 1 year old and I'm sure I will be dealing with this soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16229" LastActivityDate="2015-05-16T12:13:01.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20169" CreationDate="2015-05-16T17:42:49.410" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My question is: how do I respectfully handle this with the midwife and the hospital? How do I tactfully make them fully aware that I'm not paranoid, this is a genuine risk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your midwife has done many deliveries, and if you're satisfied with her care so far, since there is &lt;em&gt;no way&lt;/em&gt; to predict your need for a C-Section (even pelvimetry Xrays most likely won't help), you can trust her to have your best interests at heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, whenever a health-care provider isn't hearing you, repeat your concern until it is adequately addressed in your mind. Your concern might be satisfied by an explanation of her own approach, or it may mean you ask her to check with an Obstetrician she works with to get a more definitive answer and get back to you. It's not paranoia to ask for answers to questions which worry you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are the person with the most to lose here, and - sadly - you need to be your own advocate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of elective CS, don't even wonder - no one can predict whether you'll need one; only the most patient-pleasing doctor would do an elective CS on a primiparous (first pregnancy) patient because the known risks outweigh the unknown benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's harder on you if you have a CS after a significant time in labor. But a trial of labor for primiparous patients is by far the norm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can and should discuss is how far you're willing to go before the decision to have a CS is made. Discuss with your midwife the stages of labor and what happens in each stage. With your family history, I think for you to be &quot;stuck&quot; fully dilated at zero-station for 14 hours of labor plus 9 more hours of pitocin is unreasonable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound scarey, but it's not intended to scare. It's intended to start a dialogue with your midwife so that you feel comfortable throughout your pregnancy and labor that someone is thinking of the situation and has a plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is your right as a patient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-16T17:42:49.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20187" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-16T20:19:25.980" Score="1" ViewCount="452" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 month old daughter seems to have got a great liking for ABC Videos and nursery rhymes from  youtube.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately she has been watching these ABC Videos and rhymes continuously for couple of hrs! She seems to be completely lost in the TV and reacts actively when she sees these videos&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have got a big Panasonic plasma TV with natural colours and she is watching from a distance so I am not sure her eyes were strained or not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything to worry about? Some people say that she should not be watching the telly at all while others say it is good for her and she would absorb the knowledge naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16232" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-23T15:14:31.340" LastActivityDate="2020-08-23T15:14:31.340" Title="9 month old watching Telly" Tags="|toddler|television|screen-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20187" CreationDate="2015-05-17T00:34:56.050" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The medical community &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2013/10/29/228125739/what-to-know-about-babies-and-screen-time-kids-screens-electronics&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;discourages passive screen time before two&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course she's engaged for a couple hours. Flashing screens with beautiful colors and music are fascinating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16234" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-17T11:18:45.757" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T11:18:45.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20189" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-17T02:40:54.193" Score="3" ViewCount="785" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do the 123 on my daughter, but getting her in the room involves dragging her there kicking and screaming. Then she tries to block the door with her hands and feet making it difficult to close the door and I always end up holding it shut for the time out once I am able to get her in the room (which involves picking her up and moving her away from the door and running to shut it). She won't stay in the room unless I do so. The whole thing is a workout. How do I get around this, or do I? The book doesn't cover this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16235" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T17:27:27.437" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T17:27:27.437" Title="Using 123 Magic -- getting the door closed" Tags="|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20190" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20281" CreationDate="2015-05-17T07:45:11.947" Score="6" ViewCount="877" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you been bringing up your children with multiple languages at the same time since childhood? What is your result? This means your family has the foreign environment to often communicate each others, not just let your children go to school to learn foreign language but don't use at home. Usually this case will happen if&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parents/GrandParents/Relatives know foreign languages and would like to teach children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Family is living in foreign country&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to news from internet, there are some places on the world like Singapore, India etc people usually have been using some languages at the same times since childhood. So this is possible to do, right? And how many languages can be taught maximum at the same times for children, maybe 3-4 languagues?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16238" LastEditorUserId="16238" LastEditDate="2015-05-23T12:19:40.983" LastActivityDate="2017-08-04T07:35:00.730" Title="How can parents bring up children with multiple languages at the same time?" Tags="|language|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20190" CreationDate="2015-05-17T09:18:36.287" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have limited experience, but I also remember reading about some research on this. The most frequent situation is that father and mother have different native languages and use these to communicate with the children. This works very well. The children learn both languages properly. An interesting phenomenon is that the children tend to get angry if the wrong parent uses the wrong language. I believe this is in part because children value high-quality linguistic input.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children with two native languages are slower in their language acquisition, but generally not less competent in either language in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you throw in a maid or grandparent speaking a third language, three (or perhaps even more) native languages are possible as well. But the important point here is that it's only really effective if it happens in natural communication situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, at the age of four my daughter attended a nursery in England for a year. Nobody there spoke her native language (German), and after a year she was fully fluent in English, almost on a native level suitable for her age. But I am sure that attending an English-speaking nursery in Germany would not have had the same effect because there would have been too much German around. The same idea applies to a single person close to a child. If this person can communicate only in one language, then the child will pick up this language rather quickly. If the person is bilingual and just trying to teach a new language to the child, this is unlikely to do much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13408" LastEditorDisplayName="user13408" LastEditDate="2015-05-20T07:16:43.237" LastActivityDate="2015-05-20T07:16:43.237" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20189" CreationDate="2015-05-17T14:06:34.587" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first few times I put my oldest son in his room using this method, I had to put him well into his room, and get quickly out the door and hold it shut, just like you are. The trick then was to not speak or make any noise to indicate that I was still there or listening (though he could of course feel the tension on the door knob). I did not open the door until he settled. After a few times, he stopped trying to leave the room, and before long, he would go to his room and shut the door himself when I said &quot;three.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would encourage you to persist, because this method worked for our two sons all the way through those tough teen years when there is no way I could have &quot;put&quot; them in their rooms. They knew when I started counting that they had let themselves get out of control, and my &quot;making&quot; them go to their rooms (which involved swearing and yelling and door slamming which I pretended not to hear) was their opportunity to pull it back together. They would emerge 15-30 minutes later when they were calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T14:06:34.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20095" CreationDate="2015-05-17T15:13:36.663" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recent studies recommend a heating temperature of no more than 37C (98.6F) as fat content, free fatty acid concentration, and total antioxidant capacity were significantly lower at higher temperatures. This study also recommended thawing in the refrigerator rather than microwave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is only heating it to normal body temperature (less is fine, too). You might invest in a food thermometer to test the temperature of heated breast milk until you figure out how long and at what level you should be using your particular microwave. In the study, they used a 30% setting, so that's a place to start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned in other posts, hot spots can be reduced by allowing the milk to stand after warming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Citation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chan, J., Gill, G., &amp;amp; Chan, G. (2011). The effects of different thawing methods on the nutritional properties in human milk. Journal Of Neonatal -- Perinatal Medicine, 4(4), 341-346. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T15:13:36.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19957" CreationDate="2015-05-17T15:32:55.467" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an opportunity to assist your child in learning how to cope with change and with situations that are uncomfortable. As parents, it is so tempting to jump in and try to relieve our child's stress (and certainly there are times when stress is extreme and needs some intervention), but this does not serve the child's overall growth and social development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things I would try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage your child to talk about specific stresses this causes for her. Just talking about it may help to relieve some of the stress.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask her about worse case scenarios and help her think through what she could do in those situations.  For example, if she is worried that the boy might tease her, work with her on strategies for that possibility.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help her to realize that her situation is a consequence of her own behavior, and that changing her behavior might lead to a better consequence in the future.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't fix this for her. Instead, use encouraging phrases regarding her own ability to cope with this situation. For example: &quot;I hear that you aren't happy about your new seat, but you are clever and resourceful, and I know you will figure out how to handle this.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Empathize. Agree with her that her new seat assignment isn't as fun as her old one. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her some perspective. Share stories from your own experience that might relate. Also help her to see her teacher's perspective - her excessive talking caused the teacher to have a problem that needed solving.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allowing your daughter to have this uncomfortable experience and learn to cope with it is the first step in a long life of overcoming small obstacles and becoming more competent and confident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T15:32:55.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20090" CreationDate="2015-05-17T15:44:22.503" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try giving her a quick snack. My 11 month old has started waking around the same time as your daughter. It dawned on me - he's probably hungry even though he has 3 meals a day plus snacks. He's doing a lot of growing right now, and might even be having a growth spurt. He seems to have calmed down tonight after having some puréed apple and a drink of water. Hope it helps you and your daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16242" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T15:44:22.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20007" CreationDate="2015-05-17T16:29:52.623" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Feedback loops can be external (a coach of some activity offers praise, your contribution is appreciated by others) or they can be intrinsic to the activity (solving a puzzle, leveling up in a game). You have to choose your activity based on your goals (is it skill competence you are after or social confidence?). Some activities might lend to both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Building things. Could be Lego or Technics or wood and nails and screws. There is a reward for doing this alone (&quot;I made this all by myself&quot;) and for doing it in a group (team pride, being part of a whole). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Computer programming. There are languages designed for kids, like the tried-and-true Logo (now available as a free download). Kids program a &quot;turtle&quot; to draw increasing difficult things. Works well alone or in pairs. I am sure there are a lot of newer options as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Robotics. You can start with programmable toys (RoboMe, Finch Robot) and gradually move to self-creations. There are robotics teams in high schools all over the world, so there is a future where this skill will be socially valuable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Video games. Can be played alone or as teams. Obviously game choice is important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cooking. Not only does the result come quickly, but you get to eat it. There is also a social component if others enjoy the food with you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parent interests. Many kids love to learn side-by-side with their parents. We have almost always had a race car in the garage, which our boys learned to work on, drive, and eventually race with their dad. Other parents might share an interest like sewing, playing chess, building models, boating, etc. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning side-by-side. Find a something you don't know how to do and engage your child in learning it with you. Confidence comes from seeing his competence in comparison to an adult and from parental attention as each milestone is reached (as big or little as you want to define). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Research.  Whenever my children asked a question, I would say &quot;Let's look it up.&quot; We would search together for an answer, and over time they started doing this on their own. To need information and then find it is immensely gratifying, and it is an essential lifelong skill.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have only asked about things with a fast feedback loop, but ideally you would want to help your child develop in an area that also has long-term growth available. Learning to be motivated by delayed gratification is critical to competence and confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T16:29:52.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="801" CreationDate="2015-05-17T19:00:55.167" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's much advantage in skipping kindergarten. Kindergarten isn't really about academics (and, there's plenty of evidence that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wholechildeducation.org/blog/push-back-on-the-push-down&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;pushing this heavily early doesn't really help kids&lt;/a&gt;). It's about social growth, play (which is, in fact, educational!), and creative inquiry. It's also the case that at this age, kids are just naturally at very different levels developmentally, and a good kindergarten teacher will be adept at differentiation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest talking to the teachers at your school, and the administration — perhaps ask for a meeting with the principal. In my experience, teachers and administrators are generally positive about parental involvement. Lay out your concerns, and ask how the school can help. They may have other options, including advanced track groups within the classroom, or perhaps going to a higher grade for some subjects but still keeping the age-group class as a homeroom. And then you can continually reevaluate this as your child's education progresses — see how he (or she, to generalize this answer beyond just your situation) actually responds in the classroom, whether the challenges are appropriate, what the social situations are, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16243" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T19:00:55.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20198" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-17T19:27:54.160" Score="4" ViewCount="1322" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the end of third grade, our daughter's teacher approached us (and our school's principal) and suggested that with her test scores (high-school level) and level academic mastery, we should put her in a private school with a gifted and talented program (our public school system has, for I think good reasons, done away with that), or else have her skip a grade. She felt like our daughter's level was such that differentiation within the fourth-grade classroom wouldn't be sufficient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We aren't really interested in private school, and were a little concerned about social issues, and eventually a deciding factor was that the ELA curriculum for fourth grade focuses on writing and composition — an area that's always been one of our daughter's rough spots. So, with the help of the principal and teachers, we came up with a plan where she divides her time between 4th grade (homeroom, ELA) and 5th (math).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has worked reasonably well (she's continued to excel at math and has really caught up in the writing skills), but had some problems as well — the daily classroom switch was stressful, and since our state has mandatory testing, that was done at the 4th grade level for all subjects (she did just fine, but again, it was a stressor). So now, as this year comes to a close, we're evaluating what to do next year — whether to continue the split pattern, to move her entirely into 6th, or even to stay in 5th and work with the math teacher on more advanced / in-depth education this year. (The principal has indicated that all of these are options).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/801/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-having-an-advanced-student-skip-kindergarten&quot;&gt;What are the pros and cons of having an advanced student skip Kindergarten?&lt;/a&gt;, and found the answers helpful in general, but I think the situation at the start of the school system is different from that at later grades — see for example &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/1863/16243&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recognize (and again see the prior question) that social groupings might be a factor, but in our case, our daughter really only has a few close friends in her grade (and we'll continue to be friends with those families anyway), and already has friends in the higher grade as well (from the math class, and just from the neighborhood).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are other factors we might consider, and particularly, ones that might be especially important at this grade level?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16243" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-12-23T16:54:28.603" Title="What are the pros and cons of having an advanced student skip a mid-elementary grade?" Tags="|education|middle-childhood|gifted|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20198" CreationDate="2015-05-17T20:40:41.903" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was an advanced student, particularly in math, and I ended up in 6th grade working on my own from a 7th grade text, pretty much teaching myself. Once I hit high school, it was very easy to take upper level math (though I ran through all the available math classes at my school by end of junior year). The point of my experience here is that there are ways to be stimulated mathematically (and probably a lot more ways now than there were when I was in school) without skipping grades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The downside to skipping grades is what happens when you want to send your 17-year-old high school graduate off to college. I have a friend who went at 16, and she describes herself as being woefully immature as a freshman in classes with kids who were sometimes 4-5 years older than she was. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a 4th grade teacher, I found youngest students in class often struggled socially. I had one parent who ended up moving her child to another school and making him repeat a grade (despite his good grades), because he just didn't fit in as well as he should. There is a big maturity shift that happens from 4-9th grade (each grade is more mature than the previous), which seems to even out a little through high school. As a parent, I watched another large shift in maturity in the last year of high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastEditorUserId="4165" LastEditDate="2015-05-17T20:47:55.987" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T20:47:55.987" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20200" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-17T21:04:01.213" Score="8" ViewCount="2161" Body="&lt;p&gt;Earlier today, I pulled a muscle in my back badly enough that I need to lie down to let it relax, and also don't plan on picking up heavy objects (like a small child) for a few days. His other parent understands and is able and willing to pitch in, the older siblings are largely uninterested, but the preschooler....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I explain temporary incapacitation to a three year old in such a way that it's very clear I'm not angry, I don't want to ignore and neglect him, but I just can't play with him the way he wants right now? Ironically, we've never had trouble when one parent or another is out of town or working late, but being visible and not getting up is frustrating him right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T21:12:58.930" Title="How can I help three year old understand I can't actively play with him for a few days?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20200" CreationDate="2015-05-17T21:37:40.080" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 3-year old should be able understand that you are sick and that something hurts - unless you have an exceptionally healthy child he should have experienced this himself. You need to explain what hurts and what you need to do or can't do. Repeat the explanation as often as needed: You can't do X because your back hurts a lot. This is actually a good occasion to teach emphathy, if neccessary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I can think of one &quot;game&quot;: Play that you are ill. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means that you &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to lay down, be treated nicely and cared for. With some luck you will get &quot;medical care&quot;, juice, be lend some stuffed animals or have stories read to you. Small bonus: You get to whine a bit and complain about being hurt - something we strong and reliable parents rarely allow ourselves to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even with a bad back, you might be able to read to him (he can fetch the book, turn the pages and put the book back). And once this gets boring he should be ok to play with the other parent, a sibling or alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T21:37:40.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20198" CreationDate="2015-05-17T22:13:26.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in the UK. Its a different system, but here is a cautionary tale:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone I know was moved up a year in Primary school, but when he reached the end of Primary the Secondary school refused to accept him. He was forced to say goodbye to his classmates and redo the whole last year of Primary school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure this isn't going to happen to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-05-17T22:13:26.687" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20205" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-17T23:59:49.923" Score="3" ViewCount="835" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 1.5-year-old son. I have noticed below violent behavior patterns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hurting people by hitting, biting, pinching and plucking hair etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;yelling and crying a lot when disappointed or angry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very concerned about his social interactions. What can I do to control this behavior and nourish good social interaction behaviour?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-16T12:20:31.903" LastActivityDate="2019-05-16T12:20:31.903" Title="How to control and stop my 1.5-year-old's violent behavior patterns?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|violence|socialization|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2015-05-18T00:52:26.480" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get rid of the video games for the summer. That's what I did. He only gets his games between 8 pm and 10 am, after that they are gone. Sign him up for camping where there are no electrical devices allowed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he keeps being allowed in video games he will continue sitting in his room, playing them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I did that he got into basketball, and going outside we play tennis together. It's especially fun in the heavy rain on a hot humid day :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yeah he will cry that he wants his game system, but oh well. I went and threw it and survived. Invite his friends over and go swimming and play laser tags. Water balloon tag. It works great! Good luck! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16248" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T05:19:35.307" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T05:19:35.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19687" CreationDate="2015-05-18T01:44:34.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to read passages that asks questions at the end of the reading. Find a website that has books or passages to read and questions to answer following it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also sometimes let her read the book and ask her to say the story in her own words. She doesn't do quite as well in explaining the content of the book. I found her very much accurate in answering the questions following the passages on the website. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T15:56:50.497" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T15:56:50.497" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20200" CreationDate="2015-05-18T02:51:33.207" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about if you choose a doll, puppet, stuffed animal or playmobile character to be a stand-in for you?  You might need another one to be a stand-in for the child as well.  Then while you are reclining on the sofa, or whatever, you could play-act the mama pushing the child in the swing, picking up the child and swinging him around, etc.  Maybe your son would enjoy manipulating one of the characters.  For example, you could ask him to show you what the mama character should do, and how she should do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you could have some fun with some TLC, such as asking your son to put a band-aid on your boo-boo, turning on your heating pad, covering you up with a small blanket.  Some three-year-olds are never happier than when they can apply lots and lots of bandaids to their doll.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you have a present stashed away for a future present that you could quietly unveil, or a small friend who could come over for a play date, or a medium-sized friend who could come over to be a mother's helper.  Or one of your older children can be induced to help out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T02:51:33.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2015-05-18T03:46:44.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot depends on what's available in your area.  Where we live, there is a youth bureau that has sports offerings where fun and good sportsmanship are emphasized, and the volunteer coaches are tuned in to helping each child feel comfortable and make personal growth.  Also, our YMCA has little intro sessions where one can get a taste for basketball, soccer, etc. in a four-week session, one hour per week.  So it's not a big commitment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try tieing in whatever physical activity you try out, with his natural geekiness, and with the notion of family fun.  For example, if you play mini-golf, let him keep score.  If you try bowling, have the person at the counter explain to &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; how to keep score, and let him be the scoring expert.  (If he has trouble keeping the ball out of the gutter, don't hesitate to ask the manager to put up the bumpers -- inflatable tubes that keep balls out of the gutters.)  If you want to go for small hikes, you could keep a journal of animals you have seen, or take a camera and document all the bodies of water you've seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A third option where we live is homeschooler groups, where parents and children play together, for example basketball, soccer, frisbee, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My younger son just turned 12.  Something happens to boys around this age.  They get a little bit of breast.  And they often get a little chubby in preparation for a big growth spurt.  Our pediatrician explained this to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, to finish up, here is a list of some physical activities you can try together.  Just go with whatever he finds fun!  Badminton, tennis, swimming, canoeing, rowboat, paddleboat, kayak, croquet, volunteer dog walking at a shelter, trash clean-up in a particular area that would be your responsibility together, helping out with invasive species weeding or trail maintenance or blazing, cycling together or in a family cycling club, racquetball (you don't have to know or follow the rules to have fun), going to a park and just kicking a ball hard in a random direction, taking turns (for this, you are both heading in the same direction, not kicking the ball back and forth), kite flying, visiting a park for climbing and swinging, two-car hike, skipping stones in some quiet water, mowing the lawn, weed whacking, gymnastics classes, hip hop classes, circus arts classes, pick-up volleyball games at a park, roller skating, roller blading, ice skating, going through a marked exercise sequence in a park, visiting a science museum that has some physical activity options, such as powering a light bulb with a stationery bicycle, lifting free weights together to music, a martial art such as judo, capoeira (which is sort of a game, sort of a martial art, and sort of a dance form), throwing a ball back and forth to each other, such as a baseball, softball, football, digging a big hole and planting a tree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T03:46:44.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20200" CreationDate="2015-05-18T04:48:31.603" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suffer from some chronic pain issues, which occasionally make it impossible or very uncomfortable for me to get down and play with my son, who is just over 2 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife has also had some issues, recently. She sprained her foot during her last trimester, and just delivered our second son and has quite a few tender spots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution we use with my son is to simply tell him that we hurt. Right now, the language we use is, &quot;I can't play right now, because I have an owie. My neck is owie, and my back is owie.&quot; I have told him that, verbatim, several times before. He understood very well the first time I told him this. He does act disappointed, but he knows it's not because I have a problem with him. I think on a few occasions I even made that explicit, and said, &quot;Papa &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to play, but I can't because of my owies.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make it easier on him, I try to do &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; things with him, such as reading a book while sharing a seat. Other times I try to suggest more playful activities that I know I can physically handle--that is, ones that let me sit somewhere comfortably and interact with him. Some activities like this are Play-Doh or drawing. Often, it's enough that I'm &lt;em&gt;there&lt;/em&gt; with him, that I don't actually have to do all that much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum up, my solution is really two parts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Just be frank with your son, using language that's at his level.&lt;/strong&gt; Your 3-year-old may understand more complex phrasing than just saying you having an &quot;owie&quot; on your back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suggest other activities for him to engage in, preferably those where you have some involvement.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this will help with other possible reasons for not being able to play with him. For instance, my son quickly adapted to, &quot;Mama can't play right now, she's feeding the baby.&quot; He understands that sometimes we're not available. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T14:25:26.737" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T14:25:26.737" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12290" CreationDate="2015-05-18T05:08:27.660" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an old thread, but in case someone else has this problem and comes here looking for ideas -- it could be an overactive let-down reflex.  This means that milk gushes from the breast and the baby has a hard time keeping up.  The thing to do in this case, according to La Leche League, is to nurse lying on your back, so that gravity is working against the milk flow.  Also, if you're sitting up and nursing -- let's face it, you can't always lie on your back to nurse -- you can take baby off the breast shortly after getting started, and wait a minute or two until the fire hose has calmed down before putting baby back on the breast.  The fountain can be absorbed by a folded cloth diaper, wash cloth or small towel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is what's going on for you, take heart.  In a couple of months, your gushers will have calmed down and gotten more in sync with baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T05:08:27.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20205" CreationDate="2015-05-18T05:17:09.523" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child's doctor can indeed be a good resource.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to focus particularly on your child's developing ability to communicate.  The aggression might be an expression of frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is any delay in the ability to make himself understood, or frustration with self-expression, it could be helpful to help him communicate through some simple nonverbal signs, which you can invent yourself if you are able.  You could also get some ideas from sign language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps your baby is reaching the stubbornness of the &quot;terrible twos&quot; a little early.  For this, what helps is to pick your battles, and try to lower the baby's frustration level, so that he has less to get angry or upset about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby is exposed to television, it might be helpful to limit or eliminate that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask the doctor to look carefully at baby's skin.  Skin discomfort, such as itching, can give a child a short fuse (i.e. make him irascible).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When baby bites, you can gently put the child's arm in the child's mouth and help him close his mouth on his own arm.  You don't want him to really chomp down.  You want it to hurt just enough that he realizes that his biting causes pain!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T05:17:09.523" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20218" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-18T05:41:52.547" Score="14" ViewCount="2202" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3-year-old who just loves to push my buttons. I'm a single mom who has him every night, but while I work he goes to his father. His dad says he tried to follow the same discipline and naps that work for me, but I'm still finding it very hard to keep my cool. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He regularly does things around the house he knows he should not do (pouring bottles of water onto the carpet, getting out of bed to play with toys at bed time, getting into the fridge, not coming to mom or dad when called, running across the street without holding hands and pulling books, clothes, jewelry out of drawers.) We do 2 warnings and if he continues then we do a 3 minute time out in the corner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bed time is always the hardest. I start at 8:30 pm and let him pick jammies (bath time is too much fun for at night) and then choose two books and we cuddle in bed and read two books, then I sing him a song and do five minutes of pretend sleep where I close my eyes and hold him. Often after I leave he will get out of bed and go pull his books off his bookcase, try to play with all his toys or run out of his room. He often makes excuses that he needs food or drinks. Usually he doesn't actually fall asleep until 10:30 or later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As much as I would love to stay calm and collected I just can't anymore. I wake up at 4:30 am for work and just don't have the energy to do this anymore. It's been going on for about 4 months and I don't know what to do anymore. He doesn't show signs of autism or Down syndrome. Honestly a bright boy. I will mention he doesn't have full verbal skills. Can only say three or four word sentences, but he can keep a conversation of about 6 replies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I have a very high energy, wild child and need some advice on how to help make our lives a little more stable so mommy doesn't lose it. I find with these challenges I'm faced with my happiness levels have dropped drastically and often take mommy timeout or have breakdowns from the stress. Please help! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16250" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-23T15:06:26.600" LastActivityDate="2018-11-23T15:06:26.600" Title="How to deal with a 3-year-old very high energy child as a single mom?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|bedtime|single-parent|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2015-05-18T07:35:16.610" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming your son actually wants some physical excercise, consider getting him playing a videogame that actually encourages physical movement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a number of Augmented Reality games out there that involve large amounts of physical movement to play them and they have a heavy social/team element to keep them interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I spoke to some friends this weekend who plays a game called &lt;a href=&quot;http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ingress&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ingress&lt;/a&gt; which is played from your smartphone and requires you to go to real-world &quot;portals&quot;. One of them said that in the little over a month that he's been playing he's walked over 100km just to earn one of the ingame badges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T07:35:16.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20218" CreationDate="2015-05-18T10:28:02.313" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh @Kate do I feel your pain!  I have that kid too; he's 4, and the other morning he was up at 4:30 playing with his trucks in his room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First thing I will suggest is that you take care of YOU.  I know I'm a much more patient mom when I get exercise, or meditate, or do something to keep my body and mind together.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried cutting out the daytime naps?  Mine gave those up much sooner than my daughter, and removing the naps helped quite a bit with the evening crazies.  For weekdays, he's in preschool, and since they have naps, he gets extra exercise in the a.m. and p.m. to compensate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also suggest white noise in his bedroom if he doesn't already have something; my son has white noise as well as the crib soother he had when he was in his crib, and when he wakes up at night, he'll start the soother and go back to sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might seem a bit drastic, and may not work for your situation, but we also locked our son's door until he turned 4 and settled down a bit, largely because he WOULD get out and wander around and we were afraid he'd go outside and wander off, or get into the road, or any of the other horrible things a parent's imagination can come up with.  Once he showed he would stay in his room after bedtime, and not leave until morning unless he needed to visit the potty, the lock was disabled.  It certainly helped US sleep more soundly, rather than sleeping with one ear open.  (Caveat: we do have a camera in his room, so we can see what's going on; no way we would've locked his door without being able to keep an eye on him.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If nothing helps, talk to his pediatrician.  S/he might have suggestions for how to help him settle down in the p.m. that the internet does not. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hang in there, be good to yourself, and try to find the little things that make the crazy whirlwind of parenting worth it.  I speak for at least this mother of crazy small humans in saying we have your back as much as we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T10:28:02.313" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20218" CreationDate="2015-05-18T12:34:05.243" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just to add to Valkyrie's answer, which was full of great ideas (although I would go for an alarm system rather than locking the door, thinking of fire safety):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your observation about his verbal skills is very important.  If you take this observation to his primary care doctor, if your son has one, or to a clinic or emergency room, you can get an evaluation by an early intervention specialist.  If he is found eligible for early intervention services, they will come to the child to provide the services (if your state is anything like mine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When bedtime is much later than you would like in a pre-schooler, the first thing to try is generally to eliminate the nap.  The next thing would be to cut down, or eliminate, if possible, simple carbohydrates, and get more physical activity in his day.  If, after a couple of weeks, you're still finding his falling asleep time is significantly later than what you would expect, then I have two ideas: first, you could try temporarily moving his bedtime.  Say he's falling asleep at about 10:30 consistently.  You would aim for 10:15 initially, and then gradually try moving it a bit earlier and earlier until you find a time that works for him.  Second, you could ask his father to keep an activity log for a couple of days.  When you tell him about the log idea, try to avoid him thinking you suspect there's too much sedentary time in his day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T12:34:05.243" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20218" CreationDate="2015-05-18T14:58:04.447" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3 year old who also has difficulty going to bed and is definitely a strong willed guy, so I can definitely sympathize.  I am fortunate not to have to be a single parent, and that definitely is hugely helpful when out of control myself - having another person take over often helps both the kids and me. However, you can't really control that, so you'll need to find other solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, I'm a proponent of non-punishment based parenting.  In this case, the major application is that you need to teach your child why he should not do the things that are major problems, such that he understands why, and is a cooperative agent in fixing the problems when possible.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he makes a mess spilling water on the floor, why is that a problem?  It's a problem because it needs to be cleaned up.  So - he needs to clean up the mess before he plays with anything else.  He might need a few minutes of calm-down time to get in the mood to fix the problem of course - but the idea is that it's not a punishment, it's simply fixing the problem, same as if he did it by accident (except perhaps I help more when it's an accident).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he gets into the fridge, why is that a problem?  Either because he shouldn't eat things without asking - or because he makes a mess pulling things out, right?  The latter is the same as the water above: he has to clean up the mess, and if he wastes a lot of food, take it out from his allowance or toy budget or whatever; explain to him that you only have so much money, and every time he wastes something it's money you don't have to buy something more fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The former is more easily fixed by setting up the fridge in a way that the foods he has immediate access to are things you're okay with him eating - veggies, milk, things like that. You should also discuss with him nutrition and balanced eating, such that he understands what foods are &quot;good foods&quot; and which are not particularly good for him.  My three year old likes to ask me what's good for him in everything he eats, and it can be a fun conversation, especially when I don't know and have to look it up - instant learning experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, though, one of the main reasons you may be having trouble is simply that he wants more attention, and one way to get that attention is to misbehave such that you have to pay attention to him.  Negative attention is still attention.  This may not be something you have a lot of control over, given you're a single parent and have lots of work to do I'm sure to keep the household running, but it may be something to think about: particularly if there are places where you can add a little bit of interaction even while doing household work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe let him stand on a stool in the kitchen while you cook and do a little bit of stirring and such, or even let him color on the kitchen table while you cook.  Teach him to fold towels (easily done by a three year old) so he can help you with the laundry.  Little things like that make a big difference to a young child, and may both cut down on the opportunities for bad behavior as well as increase his comfort level with your attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as bedtimes go, there's other questions on the site that discuss that issue specifically; but for you specifically, all I can say is that to me there are two approaches that I think are good ideas.  One is to stay with him until he falls asleep; if you put him to bed at the 'right' time for him, that won't be very long.  We ended up having to put our kids to bed later than we originally thought was right - around 8:30 start, 9:30-10 final sleep time usually - but it's very smooth now and they usually fall asleep within five to ten minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other is to be very clear with him about what is acceptable and what is not, but make sure 'acceptable' is sufficiently wide that he can succeed most of the time.  That might mean you allow him to bounce about some.  For us, the rule is a few non-noisemaking toys are allowed on the bed - trains, cars, etc. - as long as they stay on the bed (no body parts touching the floor).  Other than that, anything goes as long as they aren't noisy.  That's sufficiently wide latitude that if one of them is bored and not sleepy, he can play quietly with his toys, but won't disturb the other one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have a bottle of water near the bed to deal with the 'get me drink/food'.  No food is ever allowed, but drinking the water is.  (We're fortunate that the potty trained one, the three year old, has a great bladder and even gets up to pee in the middle of the night when needed.  Of course this won't work for everyone.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T14:58:04.447" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15040" CreationDate="2015-05-18T15:32:43.290" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a possible solution I don't see listed above: your child may have problems sucking or latching on. If your child is gaining weight but seems to be eating constantly, this might be a cause. He may not be getting as much milk for his efforts and is also a little hungry/frustrated most of the time. I would talk to your pediatrician about &quot;tongue tie&quot; (ankyloglossia &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ankyloglossia&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;) or talk to your local La Leche League/lactation consultant to rule out these possible causes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16257" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T15:32:43.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12290" CreationDate="2015-05-18T16:17:42.047" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a similar problem when I was a child, and two of my nephews have had it as well.  Fairly soon after eating (immediate to 5 minutes) we experience very sharp intestinal pains.  If left untreated the pain continues for hours.  We found a very easy solution; have the child lie on his stomach with buttocks slightly elevated.  Patting and back-rubbing helps (with the boredom if nothing else) After five minutes it is gone.  Very specific, and it probably won't help many people, but it's an easy thing to try and if it works you save your child hours of pain.  Apparently it has to do with air getting trapped in a particular intestinal twist and being unable to advance until you turn it just the right way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T16:17:42.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20233" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-18T18:57:10.873" Score="2" ViewCount="976" Body="&lt;p&gt;My step son is 7 years old. He lives with his mom and step dad. His dad and I have him every other weekend, summers, and holidays that his mom will allow us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gets in trouble at school and mom says he throws tantrums and is just bad at home. He has been treated for ADHD. We didn't agree with the diagnosis mainly because we have never seen him exhibit any behaviors that his teachers or mom describe. Even when we have him in the summer, he's a little hyper but nothing that seemed abnormal to us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He likes to be active with us and we oblige. Between us, his dad and I have 4 boys. They all are well behaved and polite, they argue and fuss with each other, which to me is normal, but they don't throw tantrums or are aggressive toward me or dad. What is going on here? How can he act so different at our house than he does at mom's?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16263" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-18T19:06:53.967" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T07:17:53.750" Title="My step son is being treated for ADHD and we are not sure if he should be" Tags="|behavior|adhd|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20218" CreationDate="2015-05-18T19:13:45.577" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest son was just like what you are describing. I was also a single mom and had no time to take for just me. It was work, kids, and take care of the house. I about lost it to. I made a game plan and I'm not saying it would work for you but I will share. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First I had to get Chase in a bedtime routine which did not involve me laying with him until he fell asleep. Take daytime naps out. Make sure he eats dinner at a reasonable time to where he isn't hungry close to bedtime. Do or plan things he can do to burn some energy; playing outside, drawing, puzzles, Legos (I hate them), but something; bath time same time every night and then bedtime. Now, bedtime was horrible for about 3 weeks until he finally realized that I wasn't going to give in. Do not show frustration or fear lol. Read a story, get a drink, go pee, whatever the routine; then tuck him in, turn out the light, and walk out. If he gets up calmly take him back to bed, every time he gets up put him back, if he cries let him cry. DO NOT ARGUE OR NEGOTIATE. I know it sounds cruel but it works. It took me 3 weeks. And trust me no matter how bad it seems to him he will still love you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16263" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T19:13:45.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20233" CreationDate="2015-05-18T19:55:42.587" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not going to speculate on whether or not your stepson has ADHD. I haven't met him, I am not a developmental psychologist, and even if I was it would be impossible to diagnose over the internet. However, I've got a son with ADHD, and so I can provide some information relevant to why your two households are perceiving the same child so differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; plausible that his symptoms would manifest in different ways at different homes. There are a lot of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18560/4054&quot;&gt;symptoms of ADHD that can be &quot;treated&quot; by modifying the environment&lt;/a&gt;, and you may have been doing this completely by accident. Probably the biggest difference between Dad's house and Mom's house is school and homework. You have him at times when there is no pressure to get homework done, when he isn't tired after a long day of trying to focus... when he's doing &lt;em&gt;fun&lt;/em&gt; stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a huge difference between my son on a Thursday evening and the same boy on a Sunday morning. After days of struggling to stay focused, sit in his desk, do his schoolwork, do his homework, go to extracurriculars... he is completely stressed, out of patience, and hates everything. When those pressures are gone and he chooses his own activities (reading, playing, sleeping in, whatever) he is wonderfully agreeable and easy to get along with. School rules and procedures are &lt;em&gt;particularly&lt;/em&gt; tough for a child who has a hard time focusing and remembering, and may lead to cycles of getting in trouble for something he can't really prevent, feeling like he can never do anything right so why bother trying so hard, getting in trouble for something he can't really prevent, etc... When he's removed from that cycle even for a couple of days, he can relax and is less prone to a frustrated explosion of emotion (tantrums).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to bring up a discussion about medicating him for ADHD, it will be particularly challenging in this situation. &lt;em&gt;He's not like that for us&lt;/em&gt; is a poor starting point; there are fewer stressors and triggers for him outside of school and/or homework situations. Understanding and acknowledging that he may be a very different child in a different home (and at school) may be the first step towards your two households finding a way towards helping him focus when he needs to — whether that's medication that a doctor has prescribed, a different homework structure on weeknights, an individualized education plan (IEP) or its equivalent in whatever country you're in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rest of this Answer may or may not be information that you already have. If you've already got all the background research out of the way, good for you :) However, I wanted to include it to be complete.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An ADHD &lt;em&gt;diagnosis&lt;/em&gt; is not generated by teacher or parent complaints. A pediatrician needs to prescribe medication. Typically a child is referred to a more thorough diagnostic protocol with a developmental psychologist. The evaluation process includes filling out forms (sometimes just by parents, sometimes also by teachers, depending on where the concern and referral process was initiated), as well as direct observation of and conversations with the child to gauge his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ADHD doesn't always, or only, mean &quot;is hyperactive and throws tantrums.&quot; The following &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/index.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;list of &lt;em&gt;possible&lt;/em&gt; symptoms comes from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) webpage about ADHD&lt;/a&gt;. And yeah, a number of these are just things that children do: daydreaming! forgetting! impatient! An ADHD diagnosis doesn't come from just one of these things showing up occasionally, it requires six or more symptoms within a particular category. Get some clarification on what ADHD subtype your son was classified as (predominantly hyperactive-impulsive, predominantly inattentive, or combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive) and you'll have a better understanding of the concerns that led to this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who have symptoms of inattention may:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch - from one activity to another&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Have difficulty focusing on one thing&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless they are doing something enjoyable&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing and completing a task or learning something new&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete&#xA;  tasks or activities&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Not seem to listen when spoken to&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Struggle to follow instructions.&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who have symptoms of hyperactivity may:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Fidget and squirm in their seats&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Talk nonstop&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Dash around, touching or playing with anything and everything in sight&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Have trouble sitting still during dinner, school, and story time&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Be constantly in motion&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Have difficulty doing quiet tasks or activities.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children who have symptoms of impulsivity may:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Be very impatient&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Have difficulty waiting for things they want or waiting their turns in games&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;sub&gt;Often interrupt conversations or others' activities.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T22:20:53.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10748" CreationDate="2015-05-18T19:57:33.530" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all I would like to say, wow your daughter is really smart. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every girl at her age feels this way. I can remember how awkward my girlfriend felt about puberty but she accepted it and she even told me that she is happy that she'll look more sexy. So my advice is that you should help her to find positives to puberty. It might not affect her sports because there lots of female footballers or basketballers.  In fact, my girlfriend best friend played basketball from the age of 6 up to 16 and she can still beat my in a game. Most girls feel that they need to look as attractive as the models on television and it puts pressure on them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To finish off I would tell you to think off how your daughter will benefit from puberty and then the negatives into advantages. You'll have better luck at this as you know your daughter better than me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16264" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T19:57:33.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20237" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-18T20:12:49.870" Score="26" ViewCount="214454" Body="&lt;p&gt;I walked in on my daughter having sex with her cousin. They are both 14 years old. It happened in my sister's house in her double bed. I wasn't sure on how I should react but I told my sister and she just ignored it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't the first time that this has happened. They have had sex on numerous occasions and I have seen them kiss a few times. Me and my sister are the only people who know about their relationship so they only do this when they are either alone or if me or my sister are in the house. They have admitted that during sleep overs they have went into each other's rooms and spent the night there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked them if they see anything wrong with their relationship and they said no. Before their sexual relationship they were pretty close. They were like best friends and I think they have confused that relationship with a more intimate one. They have told me that they love each other and that they want to continue their relationship and one-day get married. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I handle this, since I'm concerned about the incest part? Should I encourage their relationship? If not, what should I do from there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16264" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-21T16:23:02.237" LastActivityDate="2018-11-21T16:23:02.237" Title="What to do about the incestuous relationship between my daughter and her cousin?" Tags="|teen|relationships|sex|extended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20237" CreationDate="2015-05-18T20:41:42.807" Score="53" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, the &quot;how should I handle this&quot; depends a lot on what your own concerns are. Is your concern the &quot;cousin&quot; part? or the &quot;two 14 year olds&quot; part? If the latter, is it specific aspect (are they mature enough to consistently use birth control?) or just general age-readiness for sex as a concept?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you sort out your concerns, the main and best thing is to &lt;strong&gt;talk to them&lt;/strong&gt; - like adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't criticize (and make clear from the outset that you are not there to criticize) or patronize them. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't say things like &quot;you're too young to know if you're in love&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't only concentrate on the negative. Merely list out pros and cons. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you list your concerns, prompt them that they are more than welcome to address them in a rational way - if they see that you respect them acting like grown ups (e.g. being greatly relieved and pleased and proud if they DO use birth control), they are likely to be positively reinforced into acting more responsibly in general.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you're concerned about the &quot;cousin&quot; part:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to relax - but &lt;strong&gt;inform them&lt;/strong&gt; (see above on how you should approach communication with them). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Plenty of human cultures have no issues with cousin-length-genetic-distance relationships. However, USA has &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage#United_States&quot;&gt;a bit of a social stigma attached to the idea&lt;/a&gt; - which they should be aware of, lest they first encounter the stigma by getting insulted. YMMV based on where you are - in some states it may even be illegal for first cousins to marry.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Modern medical science (especially genetic screening) makes the possible long-term concerns about genetic issues due to inbreeding less of an issue, assuming the unlikely outcome that they do marry and have kids eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However it's still something they &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; be made aware of as a risk. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/04/us/few-risks-seen-to-the-children-of-1st-cousins.html&quot;&gt;This article&lt;/a&gt; indicates that the risk increase of genetic issues is less than 2x that of non-related couple; although that is before genetic screening.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On the pros side (for your to consider, AND for them to be told to demonstrate that you're not just at it to yell at them :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;being cousins, if they do marry, they would almost eliminate one of the biggest friction points for a married couple - &quot;in-laws&quot; incompatibility/interference/baggage/bad feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;being cousins, they are a LOT more likely to consider each others' feelings and care about each other as a person. So, while - as two 14 year olds - they are likely to fall out of love - they most likely won't act towards each other in a jerky/a-holish way that a random 14 year old dumping someone likely will.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;being cousins who grew up together and close, they already know each others negative sides, to an extend, reducing unpleasant surprises that arise in and threaten any relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;plenty of people (including &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_coupled_cousins&quot;&gt;famous ones&lt;/a&gt;) had successful cousen marriage. Including (but not limited to) President John Adams, Charles Darwin, Einstein, Wernher von Braun, Jacob in the Bible, Abraham &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow&quot;&gt;Maslow&lt;/a&gt; etc...)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned that &lt;strong&gt;they are two 14 year olds having sex&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First of all, treat it like any other 14 year olds sex concern. Most importantly, discuss:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;STDs&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pregnancy prevension. If they aren't mature enough to 100% reliably use birth control, they aren't mature enough for sex. If they are (and were doing that before being discovered) it's less of a ground for worrying&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Discuss possible downsides if the relationship ends. Does your daughter realize how broken up she will be if her cousin falls out of love with her and moves on? Depending on her mental maturity level, she may be ready for it or not, and merely being 14 isn't a guarantee either way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;discuss that sex imposes possible negative outcomes if the relationship sours - jealousy, harder negative impact if one breaks things up, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;discuss what happens when they possibly have to separate, e.g. for college.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned about &quot;&lt;strong&gt;love and will get married&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; part:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, many of your ancestors likely married about that age. So merely intending to marry isn't really a concern. They had less divorce rates than the late-marrying generation me-me-me, too (sorry, had to rimshot at the boomers :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Second, as noted above, make sure they are mentally prepared for the eventuality that one of them changes their mind, and falls out of love. Don't tell them &quot;this is guaranteed to happen&quot; (even if chances are it will); but insist that they consider the idea and the consequences in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Third - if they seem mature enough - look at the current research in terms of couples compatibility. There are several good books on the topic available and there was very good research into it recently. Find out the summaries, and show them and ask them if they think the research shows that they would be a likely-successful long term couple. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2015-05-19T05:26:40.243" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T05:26:40.243" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20237" CreationDate="2015-05-18T21:11:43.007" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are 2 (possible) issues here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Age&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could be concerned about the age. This does raise a few concerns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What happens if they break up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will she be able to cope? A number of people around my age have been in serious committed, sexual relationships and haven't worked out - for a number of reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It often seems to be that those boys who will enter these relationships are likely to be the ones to be less committed and break it off. I may be making a generalisation here, but there &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be a causal link between young sexual relationships, and the boy breaking it off (either cheating or moving on - perhaps getting bored).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The law&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may not be a concern for you. I don't know what country you live in, or what the custom is. However, I know that in my country, there is a shocking distinction made: &lt;strong&gt;Even if both are underage, the male has committed statutory rape&lt;/strong&gt;. Now this may not seem like a big thing - who is going to follow it up. But what if she starts to use that over him (not saying she will)? She &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; claim rape, which is not a good place for a 14 year old boy to be in - a sex offender at that age does limit job prospects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this may not be an issue for you - you may feel it is acceptable or the law may be fine with this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pregnancy, protection and STIs&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pregnancy is not a lighthearted matter. Whether you agree with Abortion or not, it's a painful process (emotionally) and giving birth at 15 is really quite dangerous in some cases. Not only that, having a child is a big, big responsibility as you know, and still being at school when that happens is likely to limit her attention to education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe this isn't an issue, and you would be happy with abortion? Next issue, protection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Protection links in between STIs and pregnancy. Condoms are typically the best preventative measure for both of these. The pill is a nice backup, but I wouldn't want to be going through treatment at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get them both tested together, but they're 14 years old. I don't wish to judge, but are they trustworthy, are they going to stay together, and is either likely to cheat? As mentioned above, at that age, it can be hard, and it is often the boy who will get bored and (maybe) move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;STIs are also no joke. Depending on where you live the treatment can be expensive and hard to access, and it's not something anyone needs. Interrupting education for hospital appointments is likely to be detrimental and also embarrassing if anyone finds out why.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Revenge. This is unlikely, but if they break up, how would they react? If they are close enough to be sleeping together, one would hope they are close enough to have shared personal details with each other. Revenge is a real thing that does happen - is she sending explicit photographs that he could post online? Is he someone who would go around school saying she is easy? With the online world at everyone's fingertips, your reputation is important. Her mental state would not be great after a breakup with revenge.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Cousins&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is normal in a lot of cultures. There is a little concern about &quot;inbred&quot; genetic disorders, but as mentioned in other answers, there is genetic screening (although this links back to Abortion, so you may disagree).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Two relationships. They are going to have 2 different relationships in a way. Aside from the (probably inevitable) breakup issues, they are going to know each other in one way, and then in a separate way. How will they behave around family? As a couple or as cousins? Going back to a breakup -  my family is big on &quot;BFGs&quot;, or &quot;Big Family Get-Togethers&quot;. How would being forced together with your ex be? How would it be if your family are expecting you to be happy to see each other?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't want to be in that situation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a difficult one this. You should still be the one deciding - you're her legal guardian and at 14 years old, it's likely you know best. However, I doubt you're going to be able to make the decision for them. My opinion - 14 years is too young to be making life changing (?) decisions. Especially with the added risk with their chosen activity. I'd also be concerned about the breakup. I'm sure they will think they will be together forever, and probably get married, but that doesn't mean they will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know my son wants to be with his girlfriend forever - and I believe they &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; (and probably will). But that doesn't mean there is no chance of a messy breakup, especially because of their current situation - BFGs are not going to help this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;My apologies if I've been stereotypical / offered my opinion too much. My observations are mainly formed from what I've seen at school, with people in young sexual relationships that don't work - and I don't want yet more people go through the process I've watched so many others go through (especially as I've supported a number of them).&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9615" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T21:11:43.007" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20242" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10748" CreationDate="2015-05-18T22:01:24.867" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that the roots of the problem (they are somewhat related by different) are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She enjoys personal competitiveness against her male friends in sports (and worries she won't be competitive against the same people later)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution here (aside from already-present in other answers &quot;compete in women's league&quot;) may also be to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;More heavily participate in sports where sheer muscle mass matters less. Ping Pong (table tennis) is a quintessential example. Endurance swimming (the first - and only AFAIK - person to swim unassisted from Cuba to Miami was a 60 year old woman). Competitive shooting. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Compete in a sport where leagues are determined by weight/size. A lower-sized woman would be less disadvantaged against a similarly sized/weighed boxer or wrestler, as opposed to running.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Compete in a sport where she's unusually great. A woman is statistically less performant at some sports &lt;em&gt;on average&lt;/em&gt;, but a specific woman with a specific talent is likely to outperform many average men in her talent-specific sport. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She enjoys the &lt;strong&gt;camaraderie&lt;/strong&gt; that comes from sporting together&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That one is easier. Either her &quot;friends&quot; are real humans who'd still be her friends even if she's not as good as them (as opposed to because she enjoys the same passion for the same sporty things and works as hard as them). Or they aren't friends worth hanging out with, and it's better if she finds that out sooner than later, so she can get some real ones. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2015-05-18T22:01:24.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20243" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20248" CreationDate="2015-05-18T22:38:29.487" Score="2" ViewCount="1655" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think I have a problem and I want some advice from parents; I think there is no one better to talk to. I have already talked to my dad and mom, but that was not very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem is, I'm 20 years old, and I date a girl who is 3 years and 10 months younger than me, and somehow, there is a lot of resistance from her stepfather about our relationship. We know each other and became friends, for six months we have spent lots of time together and with our friends. Her mom and stepfather knew everything and had no problem with it, but we started liking each other, and then I have became her boyfriend, here the problem began.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She told her mother about us, and then her mother told to her stepfather, and he is very angry about it and now he prohibited us from seeing each other. I tried to talk to him, but he avoids the subject. We have both been very careful in our conversations, but five months have passed and he is still pissed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really love her, we are very good friends. We dont have problems with each other, and her mom help us sometimes, lying to her stepfather that she is going out with friends that doesn't include me. Yesterday her stepfather said to her that if she was lying she would be in trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in Brazil, go to university, have a nice job for my age. I've never had a girlfriend before, I'm not the kind of guy who like to date girls just for fun if it doesn't seems to lead to a concrete relationship, however, I look OK to me, but not to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact is, I dont know how to get through to him with words and make him more confortable about us. If you a are father or mother maybe you could help me with this. I've been worried for several days and I'm looking for answers all over the internet. Sorry for any language mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt; What I want to know is what you, fathers and mothers, expects from us, sons in law, who wants to have a relationship with your daughters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt; Her stepfather is 10 years older than her mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16269" LastEditorUserId="16269" LastEditDate="2015-05-19T19:43:02.683" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T19:43:02.683" Title="How to please my girlfriend's stepfather?" Tags="|relationships|girls|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="10" ClosedDate="2015-05-19T18:55:39.410" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20243" CreationDate="2015-05-19T04:40:15.880" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What I want to know is what you, fathers and mothers, expect from us, sons in law, who want to have a relationship with your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Patience, empathy, and more patience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your young lady is approximately 16, if I did the arithmetic right.  Her step father may feel that spending a lot of time with someone older will push her into a different stage of life prematurely.  He may want to give her the gift of a full childhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T04:40:15.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20233" CreationDate="2015-05-19T04:58:18.580" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also have a child with ADHD (and Tourette Syndrome).  In his particular case, he cannot take a stimulant medication for his ADHD, because it disregulates his appetite-satiety feedback loop and aggravates his pre-diabetes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder if the child's father could make an appointment with the doctor who diagnosed him?  With permission from the other two parents, the doctor could show you and your husband the questionnaires and go over the steps s/he took to arrive at the diagnosis.  Also, this would be an opportunity for him and you to ask the doctor questions, for example, what side effects could occur with the medication he's on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He might also ask, since you're concerned that he might not have ADHD, what sort of harm can come from taking this medication unnecessarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the long term, we want this child to be in a rowboat where everybody is pulling together, and rowing in the same direction.  He needs his two sets of parents to focus primarily on what they agree on about his upbringing.  You are right to ask questions; you have your boy's best interests at heart.  Your questions are legitimate, and your boy's doctor is the best place to bring them up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-05-31T07:17:53.750" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T07:17:53.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20247" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20264" CreationDate="2015-05-19T08:27:15.330" Score="24" ViewCount="2255" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/14902/2221&quot;&gt; &lt;em&gt;Ahem&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, this toddler is two years old now. And, now, she is &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; interested in story books with big pictures. The level of interest is such that she prefers me to read aloud books to her rather than playing with toys or watching videos/tv. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to stop her from crying for whatever reason or any irritating behavior, is to tell her that she'll be read the story books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's how I read the books for her:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't read the text of the book to her. I tell her with great expressions of face and voice, what's going on in the story, by pointing out to the pictures. I tell her the meaning of the picture once and she remembers it forever. She's got 10 story books which she asks me to read repeatedly, daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tell her the names of nearly all the big objects in the house and on the street, and she remembers them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She knows A for ant, B for banana till W. &#xA;She can speak numbers from 1 to 10, though she finds 4 and 5 difficult to speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Now, my question is that what else can I do at this age for her which will be educating and entertaining for her at the same time.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Basically, I want to cash on the fact that she likes books. &lt;strong&gt;I want to educate her as much as I can without creating a boring environment.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2023-04-25T11:47:57.450" Title="How to create learning opportunities for the toddler who is already *extremely* interested in books?" Tags="|toddler|education|books|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20243" CreationDate="2015-05-19T08:28:45.713" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What I want to know is what you, fathers and mothers, expects from us, sons in law, who wants to have a relationship with your daughters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have daughters, but I hope to some day. But I'll write my answer neutrally: my expectations would be the same for sons and daughters and whatever gender their romantic interest is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would expect those who want to be romantically involved with my children to &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;respect my wishes&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. If I don't want you to see each other, then I would expect you to not conspire with my spouse to secretly meet with my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secretive behavior such as this is divisive. It needlessly pits family members against each other. In your scenario, the father's wife &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; his daughter &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; you are all lying to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't cite you evidence, but I believe that when people are engaging in such secretive behavior they give off non-verbal cues that make it clear that something is &quot;not right&quot;. The father may not know what's going on, but he may know &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; is going on. To me, the father clearly suspects something, or he would not have just only said, &quot;If you're lying to me...&quot; to his daughter! That's the kind of thing you say when you have a feeling there's lying going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would consider such behavior a complete and total violation of trust and interference with my family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; children were younger teenagers, I might be inclined to be more lenient with the relationship in general. I know that for teenagers it can be very hard to make mature, rational decisions in the face of such powerful emotions. It's biology. So, I'd have some allowance for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I would not make the same allowances for a 20-year-old adult making the same irresponsible or disrespectful choices. I would expect a higher level of maturity. A 20-year-old should not be behaving the same way my 16-year-old would. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's not yet clear, I would also expect &lt;em&gt;honesty&lt;/em&gt; from my child's romantic interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, I would have raised my children well enough that by 16 years I would be able to mostly respect their judgment on choosing relationship partners. However, in my mind, that likely means they wouldn't choose a person that is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Significantly older than them, considering their younger ages.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;On the opposite side of the &quot;adult age&quot; line.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Willing to help them undermine one of their parents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want a relationship with this young lady, then I think you need to change your approach and your behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would stop &lt;em&gt;seeing&lt;/em&gt; the girl, immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I think phone calls, texting, emails, IMs, whatever, can still be acceptable. As long as you're ending the possibility of physical interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also try to build a genuine relationship with the mother. Instead of using her as a wedge to divide the family, you could simply get to know her. If she likes you well enough, and trusts you enough, she may be able to slowly convince the father to allow you some in-person contact with their daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may have to give this a lot of time. Trying to rush it or force it to happen isn't going to persuade the father. Rather, it's going to make him dig in his heels and be more resistant! Tempered romance doesn't need such immediate gratification. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to show him you're a respectable adult capable of being responsibly and romantically involved with his daughter, then you need to behave that way. Even if he won't be able to observe you &lt;em&gt;right now&lt;/em&gt;, you'll be able to point to your behavior in the future and say, &quot;I know you were worried, but you had nothing to be worried about.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T08:28:45.713" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20247" CreationDate="2015-05-19T09:15:24.247" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try reading her books such as alphabets with pictures.If she enjoys reading them then she might read books by herself by the time she is 3 years old. I taught the same to my daughter when she was about same age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also try to find a animal book with many animals on the same page. Identify them once with your daughter and play the question answer. She might find it interesting and entertaining. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T09:15:24.247" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20250" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-18T00:06:32.153" Score="9" ViewCount="2356" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 1.5 years baby. We are proud parents. But after my baby entered in our life every thing has changed. Day by day we are getting less time for ourselves. we are even getting less time to sleep. Earlier our life was very planned and organized. I have time for my workouts, meditation, reading books and other personal stuff. Now I am hardly getting time to sleep. The same is the case with my wife as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately I feel it is impacting my productivity at both work and personal life as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to manage things when we have kid and get some time for our selves? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" OwnerDisplayName="Babu" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2015-05-19T17:02:50.623" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T20:06:09.557" Title="How to manage to get more time for ourselves when we have Kids?" Tags="|toddler|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20250" CreationDate="2015-05-19T06:31:49.403" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problems you describe are pretty normal for couples who have children. Brace yourself -- they get worse as you get more of them. It's a new lifestyle which you sooner or later will be accustomed to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do to improve the situation is to be even more strict about keeping everything in order, including your calendar and to do-list, because forgetting or not finding things can result in a lot of wasted time and anxiety. In some jurisdictions you are legally allowed to work fewer hours (for a salary reduction) when you're a parent; you may want to consider that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4172" OwnerDisplayName="Gruber" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T06:31:49.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20250" CreationDate="2015-05-19T13:08:37.740" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;These things help me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Time&lt;/strong&gt;. Things get easier again when your kids get bigger. They'll never go back to the way they were... but they will get easier. Keep telling yourself that. It might even be true.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Acceptance&lt;/strong&gt;. You've got less time for you, work, etc. and that's just they way it is. Learn to see the time you invest in your child as more valuable than the time you spend at work etc. (There are relatively few people who can do my job, but just one who can be my son's Dad). I guess Mindfullness might help with this, but if you havn't learned it by now then you're too late, so you'll just have to learn to accept that, too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Involvement&lt;/strong&gt;. Involve your baby in what you're missing. Pram-runs. Baby as free weights. Meditation on Kids TV (quite profound to the sleep deprived). Plus you get to re-live some of the best bits of your own childhood when you share them with your own kids, which can be awesome. LEGO Star Wars, anyone? (And don't tell me 18 months is too young for things like that. Nobody wants to know that just now.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Baby sitters&lt;/strong&gt;. Family, friends and paid sitters and random old ladies in the park. All good, except the last one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Organization&lt;/strong&gt;. Babies really stretch your organization skills, but the skills you'll learn now will never leave you. 10 years on and I can still change a nappy, eat my dinner and watch the evening news all at the same time (although I have to tell you, in my job a Software Engineer, this isn't as useful as skill as you might think).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Share the Load&lt;/strong&gt;. Do what you can to give your spouse a break. This may make little sense when you're at the end of your own teather, but the sacrifice is an investment in your relationship. Or so my wife told me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;More Kids&lt;/strong&gt;. Don't have any. But then, someone probably told you that about the first one, and you didn't listen then, did you? :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="270" LastEditorUserId="270" LastEditDate="2015-05-19T13:14:46.857" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T13:14:46.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20247" CreationDate="2015-05-19T13:52:54.750" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've started trying to bring the stories alive by acting the stories and using props and toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're Going on a Bear Hunt - Searching the house for different &quot;animals&quot; i.e. stuffed toys. We ask what the animal sounds like, what it looks like and where does it live. A hidden iPod with speakers can add to the realism (Or dad doing his best animal impressions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Tiger Who Came to Tea - Feeding different guests, again can be animals. We set the table, and ask what do our guests eat and drink. Preparing some snacks for the guests add realism. Strangely the lettuce and carrots for our rabbit guest got eaten. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16276" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T13:52:54.750" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16734" CreationDate="2015-05-19T14:27:47.243" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple. You can't convince him otherwise if it's something he really wants. You could try to bribe him with &quot;I won't help you buy a bike, but I will a car&quot;. That might help. You could try to attach punishment to it (&quot;you can't keep it here!&quot; or &quot;Won't pay for your school if...&quot;), but that is a way to operate that seems guaranteed to damage your relationship. And you can (and should) certainly voice your concerns and let your position be known. The problem is that your son is old enough to be treated as an adult, and we generally don't coerce adults without there being resentment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look, my mum hated my motorcycles. But at 17 I was earning enough to buy, maintain, and insure it, and a car an an apartment too - so I had the economic freedom to steer my own life. At that point, its not like she had much say over it and she understood that too. I knew she didn't approve. Lots of aspects of my life she didn't approve of back then. And, in retrospect, she was right on a bunch of them too. But we had a good relationship where we could disagree without it being personal. On bikes, we talked statistics, mortality, the costs (insurance on two wheels was stupidly expensive). But I was feeling cool and manly, and wanted to ride. So I did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So prepare yourself for NOT talking him out of it, or at least not for long. I don't mean don't try, but you are at that age where your relationship is shifting from parent-child to an adult mentoring one where your advice is still heard and respected but not always heeded. And that's tough on both of you. But by all means - bribery is a good option. &quot;I know you're at the age where you need personal transportation, and I know bikes are cool, but understand that - as your parent - the statistics on bike accidents scare me. Now, the choice is yours, but I'm willing to help you buy a cool car if that will keep you off of two wheels for a while.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Word of warning: if he has friends on bikes - you're probably sunk. Riding is a social activity - and no I don't mean in the &quot;biker gang&quot; sense. But you either ride or you don't, and if you don't then you are cut out of a part of conversations and activities at an age when social acceptance is still a huge deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if it's any consolation, I will hate it if either of my kids want to ride. I will hate it even as I keep my '56 BSA GoldStar out in the shed waiting for me until I'm done paying for my kids college tuitions at which point I will start riding it again. 17 years its been parked, and with spring weather I'm feeling the itch of a long ride up a winding country road. About 10 more years and I can take that ride. I can wait. I have a bit more patience than I did when I was seventeen...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T14:27:47.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20247" CreationDate="2015-05-19T14:37:53.967" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;At two, while you certainly can begin working on alphabet and numerals and counting, I tend to feel that the most important things are creativity, emotions, and breadth of experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By breadth of experience I mean to encounter a lot of &lt;em&gt;different&lt;/em&gt; things, such that not only can the child learn about new concepts, vocabulary, cultures, and ideas, but the child can find things that are very interesting to her specifically.  As a preschool aged child (3-4), it's very common to dig deeper rather than broader in my experience; starting early to have a very broad base is important.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The action item here is to have a lot of different kinds of books.  Books from other cultures; books about trains, cars, animals, flowers, and other real things; beginning storybooks that show different emotions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emotions are very specifically important, because reading about different emotional experiences can give your daughter the ability to express her own feelings more fully.  Reading about a child who loses her toy and is sad helps her cope with losing her own toy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading about a child who is pushed to the ground by another child helps her understand how to cope with that - or helps her understand how another child that &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; pushes feels.  Giving her that vocabulary can be very useful for the next year or two, which are often very difficult in part &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; of the lack of emotional vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, creativity is something that can be nurtured at this age.  Creativity can be developed by taking what she reads and helping her to add more to the story.  A simple example is to start by asking &quot;What comes next&quot; at the end of a story.  Start by beginning to make things up yourself - and then over time she'll start to join in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One real-life example of the next step is something I did (and still do) with my now three year old with the Curious George stories (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18318/preparing-quality-bedtime-stories/18320#18320&quot;&gt;More detailed version of this in this answer&lt;/a&gt;).  These are formulaic stories that always start with the same sentence (&quot;This is George.  He was a good little monkey, and always very curious.&quot;)  Then, it introduces the setting with &quot;One day, George was ...&quot;.  He goes somewhere or starts doing something. Something happens to take his parental figure (The Man with the Yellow Hat) away, so that George is alone.  He tries to be good, but something is just a bit too interesting, so he goes off and looks at it.  That causes some trouble, which he then has to get out of - but ends up turning it into something helpful by the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son was about 2.5 to 3, I started making up stories with him, where he and George were both doing something together - something mundane, like going to the museum or the store.  After a few times of this, he caught on, and started telling me what happened - sometimes just reiterating what I said last time, sometimes making up something new.  By 3, he was able to make up stories from whole cloth himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encouraging creativity like this - whether by making up stories, or just thinking about what else is going on - not only teaches them creativity itself, but also helps them begin to think critically about what they're reading.  In order for my son to come up with a George story, he has to understand the formula to some extent.  Talking about what Peppa does after she finishes jumping in muddy puddles means she has to think about what Peppa might enjoy doing.  The answers might not be particularly accurate or complex, but starting to think about things like that not only can lead to interesting conversations but also leads to more critical reading later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, though, I would try to keep the focus on fun and the father-daughter experience.  She likes reading undoubtedly in a large part because of the attention and the fun she has with &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;. The learning will come in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T14:37:53.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20250" CreationDate="2015-05-19T15:18:41.430" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You write that your day used to be very planned and organized, and that you had time for workouts, meditation, reading books and other stuff. In addition, your question was migrated here from Personal Productivity.SE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first guess would be that you didn't have much slack built into your routine. Might that be right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am all for improving your organizational skills, as most other answers here suggest. But if you are already an experienced SE user, you likely already &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; pretty organized, and you may have hit a point of diminishing returns here. In addition, if you don't have much slack in your schedule (note that there is no TV in my example above), then there is little fat to cut.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The day only has 24 hours. If so far you used 8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep, 1 hour each for your commute, for your workout &amp;amp; personal hygiene, for surfing StackExchange, for talking to your spouse, for meditation, and for doing chores (6 hours in total), and finally read books for two hours every day, then you have planned for every single one of these 24 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time does not grow on trees, and there are only very few &quot;grownup&quot; things that you can actually do together with a kid. Yes, as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/20255/13545&quot;&gt;Kramii suggests&lt;/a&gt;, you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do a workout by running with a pram or weightlifting your toddler, but this is neither a very good workout nor really quality time with your kid - it's a least bad combination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: &lt;em&gt;some &quot;grown-up&quot; activities may need to go if you want to have N quality hours with your kid(s) every day&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for being blunt about this. I have twins, and I had a hard time learning this. I had exactly the problem above: I am already pretty organized, and I had few low-worth activities in my daily routine that I could cut. I &lt;em&gt;had to&lt;/em&gt; cut down on &quot;grown-up&quot; activities, and I still miss some of those. I have reduced my reading time, I haven't learned a new language in years, I used to publish scientific articles and cut down on that a lot, and for a while I reduced my job to 80%. I honestly wish somebody had told me that openly and brutally earlier on - it might have made the transition easier on all of us, including my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: take stock on where you are. Look at what you are doing at this point. Decide what &quot;grown-up&quot; activities you want to keep (communication with your spouse should be high on that list), which activities you want to cut back on, which activities you can meaningfully do together with your kids, and which activities you will need to suspend for the time being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the bright side, some &quot;kids'&quot; activities are a lot of fun for grown-ups, too ;-), and as your kid gets bigger, you will be able to introduce him to the things you cut back on. For instance, my twins are starting music lessons now, and I finally got back to the piano after a multi-year hiatus. And of course as your kids get older, you will be able to get back to (some) activities you had to suspend for a few years. Take a long term view of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; get as organized as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13545" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T15:18:41.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20250" CreationDate="2015-05-19T17:20:53.700" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kramii nailed it and I have a confession to make. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first daughter 5 years back became the reason I truly started to learn how to organize my life. From a person with a lot of personal space yet not much of achievement, I became a person who had no personal space and far lesser time due to fatherhood yet with a lot of achievement and successful years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, now after three kids and 5 years later, I feel more organized and far more productive as I know my world is on fire and I have to serve my family with the best and thus I respect time so much that I regularly wake up at 5AM to focus on 'my' time and have started working on productivity hacks that made me achieve more in less: GTD, Sienfield, StackExchange and Habit lists all add up. &#xA;I also picked up a job that is very respectful of office hours and thus my goal is to achieve all my professional tasks of the day within the 8 hours of work, no leverage to sit overtime as that time is booked elsewhere. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Social Media is limited, I don't pick up fights at work or home anymore simply because the big picture is that our time is really short, we better make the best of it. Be in the present moment to retain and improve focus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trust me, you will learn to even do high concentration work with kids screaming around and creating chaos that would wilt the best of us. You will come out strong and have the potential to win it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6430" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T17:20:53.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20243" CreationDate="2015-05-19T17:26:57.970" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not about having a relationship, it's about having a relationship with someone the right age.  A 20 year old should be pursuing girls who are &lt;strong&gt;at least&lt;/strong&gt; 18 years old, and I think you might know that's the stumbling block here.  And saying you think he sounds jealous doesn't sound like the whole truth either, if you're really trying to understand the father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-19T18:22:31.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T18:22:31.570" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20247" CreationDate="2015-05-19T19:07:58.643" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pretty much every page of every children's book we own has new learning opportunities for our two year old! It's a pretty awesome time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can always go into more detail about the illustrations and the story. In general, these are the subjects I ask questions or make comments about:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sizes - Big, smaller, bigger, smaller, medium, tall, short, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Positions - on, in, under, above, behind, in front of, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Colors - Go beyond the standard colors, and use &lt;a href=&quot;http://psych.stanford.edu/~michael/papers/2007_ramscar_surprise.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;postnominal training&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Materials - Metal, wood, cloth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hardness - Hard, soft, squishy (we try to teach our son this, because we try to get him to not throw &lt;em&gt;hard&lt;/em&gt; things)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Quantity - Specific #s, or just general amounts (a lot, a little)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Weather &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Object identification&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Body part identification&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Patterns - Striped, checkered, polka-dotted, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Animal identification - Here I would include &quot;What do they eat?&quot; and &quot;What sound do they make?&quot; questions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Names and character identification&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Signs - We teach our son some ASL, so sometimes we'll incorporate sign language into our discussions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alphabet and sound reinforcement &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Relating it to real-life experiences - &quot;There's a cat, like grandma's cat.&quot; &quot;That floor is made of wood, like our table.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Relationships - Mama, grandpa, sister, cousin, friend, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Emotions and facial expressions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure there's more! For instance, I'm sure it won't be long before I start working on &lt;em&gt;texture&lt;/em&gt; with my son (smooth vs. rough).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A tact I usually take is to pick a certain subject I want to focus on for the story time, and teach about that. I usually only pick one or two things, because I don't want to slow down the pace of the book and cause disinterest. So, if I decide to work on counting, I'll only do one or two counting examples per page, and otherwise read the book as normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's great is that your toddler loves to be read to! My son does, as well. He has plenty of books, and they've all been read to him dozens of times. Nevertheless, we are able to make each reading unique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also helped me to have had some foreign language education. When you start to learn a different language, you realize just how many types of words and concepts you need to know! So when I teach my son, I take the approach that anything and everything can be explained in more detail. Think of how you'd explain it to somebody just learning English as a second language, because you're actually teaching someone who is just learning English as a &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt; language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An introductory textbook or website (such as &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.duolingo.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;DuoLingo&lt;/a&gt;) for foreign languages, may give you ideas on what topics to focus on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best way to explain this is with an actual example. So, here's a page from a Little Critter book by Mercer Meyer, titled &lt;em&gt;When I Get Bigger&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/7WBV7.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Little Critter page excerpt&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are things I can ask/explain to go into more detail:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's wearing a jacket that's blue&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His jacket has a button that's yellow&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's wearing a tie that's red&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's wearing a shirt under his jacket&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His shirt and his jacket have collars&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There's a mouse in the window&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The mouse is wearing a visor, which is like a hat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you find the signs?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has a name tag pinned to his jacket&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's holding a bag, or luggage&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you find the trees?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His pants have stripes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you find the roof?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's holding a ticket. Can you find another ticket?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What color is the sign above the window?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Where's the mouse?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What color is the mouse's jacket?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you point to Little Critter's hair?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's smiling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His jacket has a pocket&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The tree branches are behind the bus station&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is in front of the bus station&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is standing on the ground&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the mouse big or small?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mouse starts with &quot;M&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, this page is actually pretty sparse, but it's just &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T19:07:58.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20187" CreationDate="2015-05-19T19:23:24.430" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;All the medical advice says nothing is better for your kiddo than interaction with an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The approach we try to take in our home is &quot;what is this displacing?&quot; Maybe to a lesser extent we worry about &quot;what habit is this building?&quot; Because nothing at all before two is a great goal to have that may run up against reality in ugly ways. My wife and I need to cook and clean and do other things that help us keep body and soul united. So while it's lovely to think that time my son doesn't spend watching tv is personal interaction time, the reality is that I can't always be interacting with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So as early as one our kid was allowed various amounts of videos. We avoided things with frenetic action and a lot of blinky-blinky and aimed for more informative/educational stuff. Animal videos, animation targeted at younger kids like AlphaBlocks, etc. We committed to not turning to it at the slightest request/difficulty, so sometimes boyo asks for tv or ipad and we have to stick it out a bit before he turns to playing with his trains or other toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I think &quot;hours&quot; is a lot of veg time, but I don't much like to just sit and stare at a screen for that long myself. If it's something that she won't turn away from to do physical things then I think that can be a problem. I don't think you should make perfect the enemy of good - if you need some segments of time to do some other things then by all means, some video entertainment is okay. But you also shouldn't fool yourself that extended period of time motionless in front of the tube is displacing physical activity she needs to be engaging in on her way to walking and improving her physical dexterity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T19:23:24.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20247" CreationDate="2015-05-19T19:35:40.397" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of good thoughts in the other answers. Here's a couple more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you don't read the text of the books to her. She's getting to an age now where she can really start to appreciate the text. Many children's books have great rhythm and rhyming schemes. Reading her these will teach her about different sounds and rhythms which will set her up with a love of poetry and song for life. My almost-two-year-old enjoys the Dr Seuss books in particular and goes round quoting her favourite books. If the text of the book has a song (e.g. nursery rhymes) then sing her the song. Music is incredibly important to language and brain development as well as being huge fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume the ten books she asks you to read to her are her ten favourites, rather than that she has only ten books! Either way, keep introducing new books of different types to broaden her horizons. With a new book she hasn't seen before, try getting her to tell you what she thinks is going on, rather than telling her yourself. You might get 'That a cat! Cat eating!' for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The public library is a great resource. Ours does song and story times for toddlers and preschoolers – it's great for kids to experience songs, rhymes, and stories in a group setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage outdoor activity as well. You can use a picture book as a basis for a scavenger hunt. 'Can you find a leaf shaped like the one in the picture? What's this? A bicycle? Can you see one out here?' Or, as others have said, you can help her act out a story she knows well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play Silly Daddy. She's obviously intelligent enough to cope with this. 'What's this? A cow? [pointing at a duck] Does it go squeak squeak?' Getting her to correct you is the first step in teaching her critical thinking – and the courage to contradict people bigger and more powerful than her. She will also find it enormously funny!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say she can speak the numbers. Get her to count things in the books, things around her, legs on animals, etc. so that she gets a concept of the meaning of the numbers as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Dorling Kindersley 'My First' series (e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/First-Words-Lets-Get-Talking/dp/1405370130/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.co.uk/First-Words-Lets-Get-Talking/dp/1405370130/&lt;/a&gt;) is great for a lot of these, and my toddler loves them: lots of photos of different things, all labelled. 'Hug' by Jez Alborough (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hug-Jez-Alborough/dp/0744588332/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hug-Jez-Alborough/dp/0744588332/&lt;/a&gt;) is a good one for emotional development as you can talk about how the characters are feeling on each page. And you can't beat Hand Hand Fingers Thumb (though I think it might be out of print) for a really strong and catchy rhythm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14438" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T19:35:40.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19963" CreationDate="2015-05-19T19:36:53.140" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I try to avoid digging ourselves into absolutes unless there's more to gain by it. Our fella (2.5y) is very good about tacking please onto things and saying thank you at this point so often if he omits it we'll just remind him while still complying. &quot;Remember you're supposed to say please!&quot; while still handing him the snack/toy/whatever. We'll goad him into saying it first if he's not clearly wound up. If it's just going to be &lt;em&gt;a thing&lt;/em&gt; what's the payoff in a standoff?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'll make an exception on things like eating enough dinner to get a small treat. If he wants to dig in on that and refuse to eat the just one more bite we set as a condition... &lt;em&gt;shrug&lt;/em&gt;. We don't really want to engage in the ultimatum but there's a habit/perception there about what he consumes as a percentage of his diet as much as there is trying to develop the habit of eating the healthy options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think in the example like your car request it might be worth showing progress towards getting what he wants while you goad for an answer. They're not so great at patience at this age. So you start getting it out while goading for the please. Hopefully the excitement makes him a little more content and more inclined to play along/mimic. Alternately you could have waited through a bit of crying and then offered the car, with a goad to say thank you - subbing one polite behavior for another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T19:36:53.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19929" CreationDate="2015-05-19T19:41:51.290" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I make letter spotting a various thing with my 2.5 year old. When we're looking at things he's already interested in - colorful signs, a fire truck, whatever - I will point at a letter or a word and say it or spell it. At this point all he gets is &quot;O&quot; and I have not convinced him that bullet points and periods aren't also Os. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see from your comment that he's got a little of this in that sort of way already, so if your question is when you should start making concerted efforts I'd think the answer is &quot;when he'll pay attention.&quot; My personal philosophy is that getting this stuff in context and little dribs and drabs is the best approach, so I wouldn't be real inclined to sit down with an ABC book and make a rigorous approach of it. If there's a book he'll pay attention to, super, but I'd be just as inclined to write letters on things or get various foam letter blocks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T19:41:51.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20250" CreationDate="2015-05-19T20:06:09.557" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really agree completely with Kraami and Atif Abdul-Rahman. Adding few points of mine. Firstly I would like to say that I too am sailing in the same boat as of yours. I have a 2 year old son. I too had the same issues as you do but over a period of time I tried various things and got adjusted upto certain level. Below points based on my own learnings&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prioritizing solves major of these things. So first prioritize among the things that you want to do&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At every stage of life, we do certain things more and certain things less and certain things we just stop. During childhood we used to play a lot outside, play TV-Video Games, Watch Movies. During college days hangout with friends. Now what if I say that after I started working I am not at all getting time to play Video Game or to hangout with friends or I can't watch a movie every night? You won't say that right? Because it's priority and maturity. You now know that Doing Job is imp. Thing. In the same way, after having kids, bringing up the kids is &lt;strong&gt;TOPMOST&lt;/strong&gt; priority. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plan wisely. You want to do workouts. But not getting time. See if you can do cycling to your work. If yes then you will get 2 things done in 1. If you are commuting by bus, then try to listen to News or try hearing some AudioBooks so that you'll utilize the time in gaining more knowledge&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reduce the time spent watching TV/Serials or with Facebook etc. They are huge timewasters/timekillers. May be earlier you had plenty of time, so you could afford, but not now.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your kids are your biggest assets. Your future. So it's equally important to give the time for them as you spend time in your day job. You are putting Fixed Deposit in the Bank called as LIFE, by investing time with your kid&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't try to do everything by yourself. Like Laundry, Ironing, Cooking etc. Whenever possible, try giving for Laundry or Ironing and enjoy time with your kid. Once in a while go out of lunch/dinner with your wife. Enjoy the moments. Surely it adds to your budget, but it's worth it. Just make sure that you are not over-doing it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check if you can seek help from your parents or in-laws or any close relatvies, who can come and stay with you people for some months or weeks. Have that on rotation basis&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Very important. Make good neighbors and be very friendly with them. Most of the time, if there are any aged people in your neighborhood, they would love to spend time with your kids. And that will help you and your wife both to get some good time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope these will help you find some good ways and wish you have lots of time to spend with your kid :-). All the very best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16280" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T20:06:09.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20090" CreationDate="2015-05-19T20:53:24.950" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;She might be too hot. (Being too hot gives me nightmares!) Try adjusting her bedding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may sound weird, but have you tried taking off her nappy and encouraging her to pee on a potty? She might be waking because her bladder is full.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14438" LastActivityDate="2015-05-19T20:53:24.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20247" CreationDate="2015-05-20T03:57:14.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As someone else suggested, start reading the words as well when you're reading to her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach her to read - or, more precisely, help her learn to read.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her access to books, with some planning initially as to which books.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's anything like I was as a kid, she'll pretty much take care of the rest herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16285" LastActivityDate="2015-05-20T03:57:14.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20146" CreationDate="2015-05-20T15:02:45.930" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter's sex life is her domain.  That said, I can certainly understand that her choice in this case makes you feel queasy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can set up some boundaries, for example, no sex in my house, daughter must come home by such-and-so time or call to let me know where she is and what is the delay, so you won't worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can take her to Planned Parenthood, for contraception and information about safe sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can offer the young man your mentorship in finding a legitimate job, or help him find a helpful mentor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is arrested and convicted, you can go to his sentencing hearing and testify in favor of probation, if you think that sending him to jail at this point would be counterproductive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can help your daughter get involved in constructive extracurricular activities she enjoys, where she will hopefully meet a variety of people who are on the up and up, that she will enjoy spending time with.  But please don't tell her your motivation in offering to sign her up for a pottery class or a theater program!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe the ethical thing to do about the drug dealing is to report his illegal activities to the police.  This need not be done in a theatrical way or with any fanfare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a community ravaged by drug use, and all the violence and social problems that come with it, we all share the responsibility of enforcing the laws that are supposed to protect us and our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that when you go to the police station to make your report, you leave out the part about the sexual relationship.  The officer taking the report will probably suspect that anyway, as your motivation for bringing the drug dealing to their attention, but it is not directly relevant to the work the police need to do about the drug dealing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest that you tell the police that you would like to be a confidential informant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are doing the right thing by asking yourself these questions.  You have put so much love and energy into raising your daughter.  By consorting with a drug dealer, she is putting herself at risk of arrest, and is raising her risk of developing drug problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-20T15:02:45.930" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2015-05-20T17:35:56.303" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to developmental studies (and don't ask me why age 5 is an overlap, I am not the one who created these): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Newborn 0-3 months &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Infant 4-12 months &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toddler 13 months to 35 months &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Preschooler 3-5 yrs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kindergartener 5-6 yrs (I included this because it is good to know.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I kind of agree with last two I guess 5 can fit in both slots. But yeah they kind of got cruddy names for developmental stages but what ya gonna do about it. I have mass pet peeve with clothing manufacturers and the T but I do understand maybe not wanting to put letter p on clothing. Newborn is also fine. However I find infant and toddler very broad age group, is your 4 month old same as your 9 month old, probably not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me I have added couple things to infant and toddler area because I see the difference that science hasn't quite caught up to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Infant 4-6 or 7 months obviously every child is different&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pre toddler 7 or 8 months-12 months&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Young toddler 13months- 23 months&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Older toddler 24 months to 35 months.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rest is reasonable as is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The term baby can be numerous things depending on circumstances. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know why but it bugs me when a parent calls their 3, 4, or 5 yr old a toddler when they really aren't. If you want more general way to refer to children: baby 12 months and under, toddler 1-2. Little child/kid 3-6 yrs, big child/kid 7-9 yrs, tween/preteen 10-12.  Though don't be surprised if 3-6 says I am big — they want to be bigger then they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16291" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2019-10-30T17:27:24.513" LastActivityDate="2019-10-30T17:27:24.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2015-05-20T18:15:56.107" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dmitri, as long as you give him equal air time, mention a couple of positives that you find in the story, and make it clear that you are sharing your own subjective point of view, and that everybody is entitled to their own opinion, it is fine for you to share your view.  In other words, make sure you're doing it in a respectful way, and don't hurt him.  Make it clear that not everyone views the story the same way you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is constructive for your child, for you to share your view in a respectful, gentle way.  First, you'll be modeling critical reading.  Second, you'll be modeling intellectual tolerance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be completely different if you were talking about a three-year-old who derives a great deal of enjoyment and solace from believing in Tinkerbell, and you came along and said, &quot;You know what?  There is no Tinkerbell!&quot;  That would just be unnecessarily destructive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can remember reading a novel with my child when he was 10, and we would share with each other whenever one or both of us had noticed something in the novel that was totally unrealistic.  At the end, my son said, &quot;Well, I still think it's a good book, but the author was really off on some of the details!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A younger child would probably have trouble with this sort of complex view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is a 10 old enough to start doing this kind of critical reading?  What is a respectful way of sharing my own criticisms?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you are aware of fractured fairy tales, which I think you would enjoy, and which would give you a point of entry to critical analysis of the traditional folk versions (A fractured fairy tale &quot;is a fairy or other folk tale that has been modified in such a way as to make us laugh at an unexpected characterization, plot development or contrary point of view.&quot;)  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.marilynkinsella.org/Workshop%20papers/Fractured_Fairy_Tales.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is an example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could even write your own, and invite your son to give you constructive feedback!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2018-09-15T18:55:11.050" LastActivityDate="2018-09-15T18:55:11.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20279" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-20T20:17:47.103" Score="6" ViewCount="304" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 16 month old son is just starting to talk. He understands a lot and he's lately saying a number of simple 1 syllable English words (cheese, shoes, pea, cat, dog, duck etc). However, my husband and his close relatives are Indian so we would both like our son to also know Hindi. My husband speaks to our son only in Hindi. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son hasn't yet said any Hindi words but when we count up his English words he says somewhere between 25 and 30 words, mostly nouns. Nearly all of them have only one syllable. When my husband thinks of the Hindi word for these things they almost all have two syllables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son does seem to understand well when my husband speaks to him but we are worried that the seemingly more complex nature of the words in Hindi will make it more difficult for him to pick up and that he'll be much behind in his Hindi compared to English. He's already at a disadvantage in Hindi because we live in England with not many people around us who speak Hindi.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have experience of bringing up a child with two languages where one seems to be more difficult than the other? Might we be worrying unnecessarily and once he gets the hang of words with more than one syllable, he'll start saying more Hindi words? How can we encourage him to speak more difficult words when he has the option of something simpler?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T01:54:02.243" Title="How will my toddler pick up one language which seems harder than the other?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20190" CreationDate="2015-05-20T21:54:10.877" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband speaks German with our children.  He allows them to respond in a mix of German and English.  (We live in the U.S.)  I speak Spanish with my children.  I used to make them respond to me in Spanish, but when my older one went to college, that started to slip with him.  (It was a miracle to get him to return calls at all....)  However, sometimes he does still talk to me in Spanish, especially if he's in a public place, talking on his cell phone, and would like a bit of privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My younger son started to slip about two years ago when he had some school trauma related to his Tourette Syndrome.  But he can still answer in Spanish when I insist, or if the thought he is thinking just happens to have some concepts he learned entirely in a Spanish-speaking context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read a Smithsonian article that said that English is a predatory language.  I think that's true.  My two children used to talk a mixture of 80% Spanish and 20% German that I called &quot;Germish&quot; with each other.  But lately it's been 90% English.  Sigh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first child mixed like crazy until around age 3 he started to sort things out.  My second child hardly mixed at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my older son was age 1 to 5, we were living in France, and he learned English at part-time family day care, and begin speaking French when he was 3.  We moved to the U.S. when he was turning 5, and that was the end of French!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on this experience, I think that it would probably be possible for a child to understand well with more than four.  But things get complicated.  There are logistics to figure out, and there is stress for everyone involved.  We kept a log book that went back and forth to day care with child #1, with his growing vocabulary, so the poor woman would stand a chance at understanding his mishmash!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did it so that each parent would feel a close connection to the children.  The ability to communicate with monolingual relatives is certainly a plus!  (We sent child#1 to English-speaking day care because English is the common language my husband and I share.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do feel happy with the approach we took, i.e. it was worth the trouble!  My husband says he has an easier time sharing his sense of humor with the children when he talks to them in his native language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit to answer @CreationEdge question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't have that issue of the Smithsonian magazine handy so I checked the web.  Here's a quote:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Having achieved global domination, the English language ... is now used more by second language users (over one billion) than first( about 380 million)....  English [is] a &quot;predatory&quot; language according to Catalan author and translator Teresa Solana....  According to sociologist Ruben Rumbaut, North America has proven for centuries to be a language graveyard where immigrant families' native language is almost always lost by the third generation.&quot;  From &lt;em&gt;Language of the Heart&lt;/em&gt;, Van der Berg&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be easier to understand if we look at this example: in Mexico, there are still rural pockets where an indigenous language is still the primary language, but the number of speakers of these languages is shrinking as Spanish takes over.  Yes, in that context, Spanish is a predatory language!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T01:01:12.903" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T01:01:12.903" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20283" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-20T23:46:44.307" Score="117" ViewCount="52957" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is a 13-year-old honor roll student. He comes home and has all his chores done by the time I get home. He is a great kid.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was hanging out with his friends; this group has been friends since first grade. They were at the local skating park, and saw a donation box for clothes and shoes, saying 'single shoes accepted'. For whatever reason one of his friends &lt;em&gt;(a girl)&lt;/em&gt; asked him to donate his right shoe, and he did. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After they got home they where laughing about it and decided to donate &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; his right shoes, worth about $575, including one from a $145 pair he had never worn and that he had gotten only the day before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found out the next morning when he came downstairs, wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, his left shoe and a sock on his right foot. He told me he donated all his right shoes to charity. He left wearing a sock on his right foot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he got home in the afternoon I asked him where all his right shoes were and he just laughed it off and told me what happened. When I tried to talk to him about it, his attitude was &quot;it’s no big deal&quot;. I asked &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he did that and he said it was funny. It doesn’t bother him a bit that he doesn’t have but left shoes. He thinks it’s funny and apparently has no concept of the amount of money he wasted. I hadn't budgeted to replace shoes until next school year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I handle this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16294" LastEditorUserId="3934" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T12:37:24.227" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T02:27:44.177" Title="My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?" Tags="|discipline|teen|" AnswerCount="15" CommentCount="19" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T00:06:36.623" Score="207" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Donate the left shoes in the same donation box. Whether or not they are able to get single shoes to those who need them, having a half-pair sit in your son's closet does &lt;em&gt;nobody&lt;/em&gt; any good. Might as well finish what he started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By only giving right shoes, he has potentially wasted the charity's time: many people need only one shoe, but there's a chance this particular charity doesn't serve that need. (Thrift stores, for example, typically sell whole pairs. Whether they would re-donate single shoes depends on the charity.) Take the opportunity to teach him about why shoe donations are needed, who will benefit from those shoes, and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Buy one pair of shoes from the organization that runs the donation box. If you can't figure that out, or there isn't one near you, any thrift store will do!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does need to have shoes, but they don't have to be &lt;em&gt;fancy&lt;/em&gt; and&#xA;they definitely don't have to be &lt;em&gt;expensive&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Optional&lt;/em&gt;. Have him work off the cost of future new shoes in chores and odd jobs around the house. You set the rate, he does the work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, your goal should be to help teach the value of things he owns. A parent goes to work to get a paycheck, which eventually becomes shoes, food, housing, and so on. Having that be discarded (even in a &quot;positive&quot; way like donating to charity) is understandably hurtful as a parent: not only is the physical object being undervalued, but your effort and care in providing for him was not acknowledged and considered. (&quot;That was $600 of shoes. That's a lot of full-time work for me/other-parent, just to pay for shoes. I'm hurt you think that's so worthless.&quot;) Having him put in some work to get the next few pairs of nicer shoes is going to help drive that point home.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T19:18:55.887" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T19:18:55.887" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T00:16:21.240" Score="64" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, I strongly recommend taking the money out of your thinking. Teenagers can do foolish things that can be expensive, but it just doesn't help to dwell on the cost of the shoes. Remember: your son is worth a lot more to you than those shoes. Presumably it will be possible to speak with someone at the donation center to get those shoes back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I'd consider the possibility that your son isn't nearly as blithe about the situation as you suppose. People often cover up feelings of shame and regret by making out that what they did was &quot;no big deal&quot;. It's not your job to make your son &lt;em&gt;feel anything&lt;/em&gt;. Your job as a parent is to help your child become an independent and productive adult. So it doesn't matter whether your son feels foolish as long as he learns to avoid &lt;em&gt;being foolish&lt;/em&gt; in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, it's really important to listen to and understand his reasons for giving away the shoes. If he says it was just to be funny, take that at face value. You'll need to talk out how he might act on the desire to do something funny without doing something he might regret or that might cause you pain. Be sure to encourage him developing his abilities and talents. Once you've made that clear &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; talk about how this particular event hurt you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, consider an appropriate consequence for his behavior. Going without one shoe is the natural consequence, but perhaps too harsh for a simple mistake of youth. If he has an allowance, consider requiring him to pay half the cost of replacing his shoes. If he doesn't have an allowance, consider having him do roughly the equivalent hours of chores he'd need to do if you paid him a wage. The cost currently falls on you, but when he leaves the house, it would have been his responsibility. The time to learn that is now, when the consequences are relatively minor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T00:16:21.240" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20279" CreationDate="2015-05-21T01:33:46.843" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your son has an immediate family member who only converses with him in Hindi, he will become a fluent speaker of Hindi.  The language development may progress a bit more slowly than his English, with more people speaking English to him, but he will learn the language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, as he gets more verbal, your son may not initially seem interested in learning Hindi.  He may speak to his father in English.  If your father responds, your son may not master speaking Hindi (although he will still develop fairly good listening comprehension).  However, if your husband insists that your son speak to him in Hindi, your son will master the language.  If he insists on English, your husband should just tell him, gently (and in Hindi, obviously), &quot;Please tell me in Hindi.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T01:33:46.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20287" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-21T01:41:39.350" Score="0" ViewCount="173" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been trying to do an eat wake sleep cycle with my 4 month old, but it has seemed impossible as he usually only takes 4-5 45 min naps a day. Doing this I'm feeding him every 2 hours. I struggle to lengthen his feeding out to more than every 2 hours because he can't go 4 hours without eating. Sometimes he's not too hungry to eat when I try to feed him, but tries to eat when I put him down for a nap, then he takes forever to go down, gets overtired, and will only take a 30 min nap. It happened today actually and he only slept for 15 min. Is it possible for me to regulate his schedule, even if he won't take longer naps right now? I feel my boobs always have to be on demand and me and him are both frustrated frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16295" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T02:08:29.413" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T02:08:29.413" Title="Short naps and infrequent feedings" Tags="|infant|sleep|breastfeeding|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20279" CreationDate="2015-05-21T01:54:02.243" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I fully agree with @Buzz.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some answers on this topic at &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19327/teaching-a-third-language-to-a-bilingual-toddler&quot;&gt;Teaching a third language to a bilingual toddler&lt;/a&gt; which I think will be useful for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which language is more difficult is somewhat subjective, for example you and I would probably perceive Chinese as being more difficult than English, but for a child growing up in China with parents who consistently speak to him in Chinese, English would be perceived as more difficult!  However, I don't want to express an opinion about Hindi specifically, since I know nothing about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that not having many people to communicate with in a target language, does makes things more challenging.  Perhaps a little less so in the early years, but this can become more of a problem after beginning school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's how your husband can elicit some utterances in Hindi.  First, pick some easy to pronounce words that express concepts he's interested in.  Point to it (in real life or in a book).  Ask (in Hindi), &lt;em&gt;How does Daddy say it?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a tried and true trick!  It's a little early right now to use it, and also, I need to warn you that this is a trick you don't want to over-use!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, here's another technique.  Say your son is talking on the phone or over Skype with one of your in-laws.  In the early years, chances are good he's going to mix his two languages.  That's okay.  You just hover nearby and every time he says an English word, you prompt him with the Hindi word.  If he manages to repeat it, he will get some lovely positive feedback from the other end of the phone line.  You'll probably need to play this assistive role for some time.  The other thing you can do to facilitate these phone calls is to suggest topics for conversation.  There are two ways you can do this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if the conversation starts to flag, but you think your son still has some phone energy left, suggest a topic to him.  For example, say the two of you went to the park in the morning and saw a duck, and he was pretty excited about the duck, and suppose he knows the word in Hindi for duck.  (Or you cheated a little and looked it up, or called your husband at work to ask for the vocabulary items you would need for your phone call.)  Back to the little pause in the conversation.  At this point, you just say to your son one word, [duck] (in Hindi).  That will get him off and running, hopefully.  He will say [duck]!  Your mother-in-law (or whoever) will repeat the word, excitedly, and there's the feedback loop.  Or if she didn't understand him, you lean a little closer to the phone, and repeat the word more clearly, or make a simple sentence (Pidgin Hindi is okay for a doting grandmother), such as &quot;Saw duck in park!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give the relative a heads-up ahead of time, by suggesting a topic of conversation.  Make a short private phone call and say, &quot;Ask about the park.&quot;  And so on.  You can prepare yourself a cheat sheet (phonetic if necessary).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your in-laws are not monolingual, it would be very helpful if you could get them to refrain from speaking any English to your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be great if you could find or form a Hindi play group.  If it meets at a time when your husband can't take your son, that's okay, you can take him.  The other parents will admire your support for your son's Hindi, and will understand if you are rather quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;am hoping that my Hindi will also improve as I (hopefully) hear them speak to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, this does happen!  Especially around the dinner table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, one more technique to share.  When your husband reads your son a story, it can be a picture book written in English (or any other language).  Your husband should simply come up with his own text, in Hindi, to go with the story.  His text absolutely does not need to be a precise translation of the original text.  This approach will work until your son gets to the level of books that have a whole paragraph per page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T01:54:02.243" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20287" CreationDate="2015-05-21T02:07:25.547" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you heard about cluster feedings?  This is a way of describing how sometimes a baby will have an apparently full meal, and then come back for more 45 minutes later!  The way I heard someone explain this once was, that it's like going to a five star restaurant and having a multiple course meal!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies march to their own drummer, so I would just let him show you when he wants to nurse, and forget about the clock.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To encourage him to take a longer nap, there is a trick which often works, and that is to pick a time of day (often it works best at some point in the afternoon) to have a nap with him.  It might be kind of like this: nurse, nap, nurse some more, and then &lt;em&gt;I'm really awake now, let's play!&lt;/em&gt;  I found that even if I only actually slept for 10 or 15 minutes, it still did me a world of good, and this approach helped my baby learn to have a more substantial nap.  I hope this works for you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fresh air, for some reason, also helps develop solid naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He might be waking up because he needs to burp.  You could check, by pausing to burp him before you feel him starting to drift off, and then perhaps switch sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be very helpful to learn to nurse while lying down on your side, with a pillow at your back.  Some mothers are able to drift off while baby is still actively nursing.  I couldn't -- but it was still very restful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you can get a La Leche League book from the library.  Their books are full of helpful tips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can also be helpful to have a really interesting podcast to listen to, or a good book handy, so you can do your own zoning out while baby is engaged in his favorite pastime!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T02:07:25.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20090" CreationDate="2015-05-21T03:12:25.117" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder if it's possible this is night terrors.  She seems a little young for this to be starting, but the predictability of it gave me that idea.  One of my children had one isolated experience of this, and what really struck me was that I couldn't establish any eye contact with him while it was going on.  But he didn't remember it the next day, just as the children's health books describe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an explanation: &quot;Night terrors occur during the transition from stage 3 non-REM sleep to stage 4 non-REM sleep.&quot;  Different sources give different descriptions of how long after bedtime the night terror occurs.  Anyway, here's a recommendation I found for what to do about it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, note how many minutes the night terror occurs from your child’s bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Then, awaken your child 15 minutes before the expected night terror, and keep her awake and out of bed for five minutes. You may&#xA;  want to take your child to the bathroom to see if she will urinate.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Continue this routine for a week.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/night-terrors&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/night-terrors&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T03:12:25.117" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20291" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27391" CreationDate="2015-05-21T05:03:42.753" Score="0" ViewCount="298" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son outgrew huge Uppa car seat so we bought a Combi. Can I fit that on my stroller?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or am I going to have to buy another stroller?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16298" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T14:34:33.707" Title="Can I fit a coccoro combi car seat on an Uppa Baby stroller cruz?" Tags="|car-seat|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19929" CreationDate="2015-05-21T05:27:49.617" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my infant was born I never knew any lullabies, so I used to sing &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;A for ant, B for ball, C for cat..&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; up-till W carefully using the names of the things which could be seen in the real life, daily - as a lullaby with full expressions and in a loud and clear voice.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now my toddler is 2 years old and when I say - A for, she says ant, so on and so forth till W.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Key is the repetition. Instead of telling your child - sit down and read that, I recommend you to:   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sing around ABC loudly, clearly, and frequently when she is around.  Me and my child have made a game out of this. We compete on who sings louder. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her an apple (if she likes it) and then say loudly - A for apple. Next time before giving her apple, show the apple to her and ask - A for, and let her fill in the blanks. It may take some time for you because you are starting quite late but it is better than forcing the child to sit and read the book.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be sure to use the words which the child can see or wants to see in her house or street. For example - I used &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;A for ant&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; because there are ants all around the house and it is easy for her see them. I used the word &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;K for key&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; because we have a bunch for keys hanging near the door which she often takes for playing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Please don't rely on the books which use words like &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;A for ambulance and S for scorpion&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. How many times in your daily life you get to see ambulances and scorpions? The child will soon forget the words which she  cannot relate to in real life, daily.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-12-13T04:41:32.603" LastActivityDate="2016-12-13T04:41:32.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T06:54:55.687" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let him live with the consequences of his actions and walk around with one shoe. If he has a job or an allowance, he will quickly learn just how valuable a pair of shoes are after spending a few days with only one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16301" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T06:54:55.687" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T07:02:15.840" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would be more concerned that he thought it was funny to make fun of the disadvantaged. Donate the left shoes to the charity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then buy him a cheap pair of shoes, if he wants expensive fancy shoes he can save up for them so he will learn the value of shoes and will respect gifts from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16302" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T19:19:25.413" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T19:19:25.413" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T07:49:06.833" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Divide 575$ by a reasonable hourly wage and make him work that many hours for charity (for free). Thereafter forget about the incident and the 575$.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will sharpen his mind for the problems of the not so lucky, and he might consider thinking a bit more about any future actions. For yourself: be happy about the lesson learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16303" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T07:49:06.833" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T08:08:36.003" Score="45" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consider items you give to your child a gift to them. The money spent on it then becomes irrelevant since it isn't yours to use; it's theirs. This makes dealing with kids breaking things much easier as it becomes their own responsibility and you'll feel less reason to keep replacing things they break. They learn value much more quickly that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he gives away all his shoes, just give him a single, second-hand pair you buy for cheap that he can wear from now on. You'll probably teach him the cost of these jokes and he can draw whatever conclusions he wants from what happens when you give your stuff away. He might even thinks it's worth it; that's a perfectly fine outcome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If an afternoon of fun is worth having to walk on second-hand shoes for a few months, than clearly all the money you spent on the shoes was wasted on him anyway. Consider it a valuable lesson for &lt;em&gt;yourself&lt;/em&gt; that apparently your kid isn't very interested in expensive shoes. There's probably lots of other stuff you can spend that money on that he or you will appreciate a lot more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T08:08:36.003" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20298" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20303" CreationDate="2015-05-21T08:45:14.483" Score="6" ViewCount="886" Body="&lt;p&gt;Considering &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/20247/how-to-create-learning-opportunities-for-the-toddler-who-is-already-extremely&quot;&gt;How to create learning opportunities for the toddler who is already *extremely* interested in books?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was wondering why should I be hell bent on educating my toddler when she's going to learn the stuff anyways when she grows up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she grows up to 6 years of age it will be utterly easy for her to know what is hard and what is soft or about shapes and colours or the numbers/alphabets, then why should I bother her and myself when she's just a toddler?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Authoritative answers requested.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T16:36:24.927" Title="Why should I be hell bent on educating my toddler when she's going to learn the stuff anyways when she grows up?" Tags="|toddler|education|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20298" CreationDate="2015-05-21T09:10:18.957" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I was wondering why should I be hell bent on educating my toddler when she's going to learn the stuff anyways when she grows up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know that there's great value in being &quot;hell bent&quot; about it, but certainly you shouldn't let the grass grow under your feet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main value in educating young children is getting them to learn how to learn rather than the trivial knowledge they are learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really hard for humans to develop the lengthy attention span that is needed for success in the real world today. The brain doesn't do it &quot;automatically&quot;, there's a long learning process involved. It's not a bad idea to try to give a toddler a head start on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Authoritative answers requested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize the above is just (my) common sense. I'd find it hard to imagine that there are comparative studies on what happens when you try to educate toddlers versus a laissez-faire approach, but I'll be watching for other answers just in case, it's a very interesting issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T09:10:18.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T09:29:22.540" Score="151" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hehe, that is pretty funny.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eh, don't worry about it. Kids do silly things, this isn't one that's going to get him killed. Sometimes people just need to do something that goes against the normal course of action, ya' know? It'll be a funny story he can think about/tell other people when he's older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After he's had his fun, and then gets tired of walking around with only one shoe, you can have him pay the cost when he's ready for another pair. Just wait, he'll come around and start asking for new shoes eventually. Then say, &quot;Sure, how much of your allowance are you willing to spend?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe get him a $2 pair of flip flops in the meantime if you're worried about him stepping on a nail or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16309" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T09:29:22.540" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20298" CreationDate="2015-05-21T09:54:59.830" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason it is &quot;easy for them anyways&quot; is because even if you invest no effort, the child is still learning on their own. These things that are &quot;easy&quot; aren't. They're really complicated for toddlers, it's just that toddlers spend almost all of their (awake) time learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping them by giving them a lot of things to play around with (read: to learn from) and investing the time to try and help them will give them a starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To give an example: if you let your child grow to the age of 6 while never ever letting her see an object that contains letters (no books, no pamphlets, no going outside to read ads) then learning the alfabet isn't going to be easy for her, it'll be incredibly frustrating and difficult. She'll be behind &lt;em&gt;years&lt;/em&gt; to her peers, who've spent most of their life surrounded by writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But even if you never read to your child, she'll still see books lying around, she'll still see people reading and she will probably still be very interested in figuring out what you're doing. And she'll learn a little bit about reading, maybe enough to not let her be terribly behind when she arrives in school. Even if it means that she'll have to start by learning the letters instead of jumping right into books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's important to understand that if you decide to wait until the child is 6 with teaching them reading and you come home some day and your child is chewing on your favorite book, that isn't the child trying to destroy your property, that's your child &lt;em&gt;trying to learn to read&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's easy for an adult to underestimate how incredibly many things a toddler is learning and how much they learn from doing what we think as &quot;being silly kids&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe the reasoning becomes clearer if you don't think of it as you having to &quot;educate your child&quot;. What you are really doing is &lt;em&gt;helping them&lt;/em&gt; educate themselves better. You're helping provide a better basis to enable them to learn more (and faster) when they are older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T09:54:59.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T10:55:24.593" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would learn him to respect the value of money, and have him buy the next pair of shoes from his own pocket. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way, it would only hurt his own pocket if he choose to do the same over again. (Or something likewise)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16310" LastEditorUserId="16310" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T12:31:50.543" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T12:31:50.543" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20298" CreationDate="2015-05-21T11:01:16.947" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll answer your question with a question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;University kids are able to learn advanced calculus and how to interpret difficult books and understand human psychology. Why don't I just wait until the kids are at that level, because then all of that high school maths will be so much easier for them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason is that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.guidelinesonlearning.com/guideline-five&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;knowledge builds upon knowledge&lt;/a&gt;. You lay the foundations, simple words, learning to walk without falling, learning that hot can be bad, and upon those foundations more complex knowledge can be build. If the kid lacks the foundations, you cannot expect to build a house of knowledge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How will the kid find it utterly easy to know that something is hard or soft if the kid has not developed his/her brain in order to understand those concepts? How can the kid do differential geometry if the kid doesn't even know arithmetic?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="9825" LastEditDate="2015-05-21T21:22:52.807" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T21:22:52.807" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20304" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20305" CreationDate="2015-05-21T11:52:17.633" Score="13" ViewCount="20244" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is two years and a half. He has a squint, and he has to wear glasses or the squint might cause serious damage. He refuses to wear his glasses under any circumstances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, even using a strap is not allowed for a child as he might strangle himself, but I highly doubt that it would make any difference if my son had one, as he keeps taking his glasses off few seconds after putting them on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have to hold his hands tightly, and he still manages to get the glasses off. Even if we stop him, we can't keep holding his hands for more than few minutes for obvious reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any solution that I am not aware of? The only thing that I keep imagining is the existence of some medical goggles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T01:33:48.227" LastActivityDate="2015-05-24T02:43:18.597" Title="How do I make my son wear his glasses?" Tags="|toddler|glasses|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20304" CreationDate="2015-05-21T12:32:06.437" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be tricky! Remember the core principles of &quot;reinforce good behaviour&quot;; &quot;see things from the child's POV&quot;; and &quot;distract from undesired behaviour&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start with the glasses. Do they fit? are they comfortable? Do they hurt or irritate the child? Try asking the child why they don't want to wear them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find some characters or toys that wear glasses that your child likes. Or make glasses out of fimo for existing toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally you want your child to realise that there is a benefit to the glasses - their vision improves. (&quot;They will prevent harm in the future&quot; is something that does not work for children.) So, put their glasses on and immediately start distracting them with fun activities. Each time the glasses come of just pop them back on and carry on with the fun. If there is resistance to the glasses going back on you ask if the child wants to keep on doing fun stuff, and when they say yes you tell them that they need to keep their glasses on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try using a sticker chart and a timer. Start with short times! 45 seconds, for example. Build up those times. So, if the child wears his glasses for the time limit you give copious praise, and a rewards, and say how well you think they'll do with the longer timer limits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make putting the glasses on part of the daily routine.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Also, make sure that removing the glasses does not become an &quot;attention seeking&quot;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you lead by example - wear your own glasses (if you need them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;1: I hate this term but people know what I mean when I use it.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="16141" LastEditDate="2015-05-23T06:55:16.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T06:55:16.570" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-21T13:16:25.097" Score="12" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Make the charity whole&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Donate the left shoes as well, that way the charity is made whole. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Why did they really do it&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible they found it funny b/c of some teens' snark sense of humor to have the charity looking for matching shoes, only not to find them, as a previous answer has said. As a parent, it's hard to know if that was the root of the humor, but if he and his friends truly wanted to help a charity that wasn't the best way to go about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;No shirt no shoes no service&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously your son can't walk around w/out shoes everywhere, so you really don't have a choice but to buy him a new pair of shoes. I would give him a small amount of $ to buy a new pair of shoes, with the caveat that he understands what he did wasn't the wisest choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Let this be a lesson&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have said, I would reserve the discipline for later, first mistake and all, and nobody got hurt (other than dad's wallet of course). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Leadership skills&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, I would encourage you to pay close attention to the choices he makes at the influence of his friends. I'm not implying you don't pay attention to your son, but what I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; saying is: find out if he is more of a follower and less of a leader. For example did the others donate half of a pair of shoes as well? Or did they just talk him into it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is worth looking into, because a one off incident that he and his friends did together (albeit unwise) is different than his friends either having a pattern of, or (with this incident) establishing a precedent of, talking him into making the unwise choices, because they'll know he's likely to do it if they apply enough pressure. I have been on both sides of that coin and it was only later after mistakes I learned how to become a leader among my friends, which in reality meant making my own choices, encouraging them to make better choices, and separating myself from them when necessary. Without getting too personal, having a father around would have sped up the development of those qualities, so I encourage you as a fellow father to pass the torch!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T13:16:25.097" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20304" CreationDate="2015-05-21T16:31:29.937" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my twins (3yo) needs to wear glasses, because his left eye is weaker than the right one; not correcting his sight could result in one of his eyes becoming lazy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; the child to wear them, and at that age you can't quite &lt;em&gt;reason&lt;/em&gt; him into wearing them either: the only thing that will work is if the child makes the decision to wear them himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The optician gave us a neat trick for that - I don't know if it might be too late at that point (how long has it been?), but for posterity, here it is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When the kid is watching his favorite TV show, approach him with the glasses and put them onto his nose. When he notices that he actually sees better with the glasses, you win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worked very well with my toddler. Now I just need to get him to stop throwing the darn glasses when he's angry, but that's another story ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6242" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T16:31:29.937" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20304" CreationDate="2015-05-21T16:46:17.990" Score="6" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Getting toddlers to keep their glasses on&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Welcome to the world of toddler glasses!  It's tough to get a toddler used to wearing their glasses all the time, but be patient.  Over time they will eventually accept them, and may soon start asking for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are two articles on the subject, along with a few tips from them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/03/02/just-starting-out/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/03/02/just-starting-out/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pamf.org/Eye/patients/kids-glasses.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.pamf.org/Eye/patients/kids-glasses.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, keep in mind that like most new experiences, fighting with your toddler isn't going to be productive.  Similar to toilet training, or getting them to eat unfamiliar foods, you need to be loving, consistent, and non-confrontational. From the first article note that over half the children given glasses at this age learn to keep them on in a week - but over 10% take longer than a month.  So while there's hope that it'll be a quick transition, don't become discouraged if it takes a month or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this stage of life it may be easier to focus on frequent rewards for wearing the glasses than on punishments or consequences for taking them off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feel free to set them aside when your toddler becomes upset - the medical benefit will be gained from wearing them often, but leaving them off for periods of time won't be a problem.  Just focus on getting them to wear the glasses as much as you can, and don't sweat it when they don't.  Involve them in some other activity, and put them on while they are distracted, for instance. If they are bored, they know one sure way to get your attention is to remove the glasses and throw them around, so keep them active.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the second article here is a list of good ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start by having your child wear glasses for short periods during enjoyable activities, when your child will be having so much fun that he or she will forget about them. Use the glasses as part of reward times, such as when your child is watching his or her favorite video.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Choose a time when your child is rested and in a good mood to start requiring the glasses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your child takes his or her glasses off, be sure you put them back on in a firm but loving manner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your child learns that he or she has control over wearing the glasses, you may lose the battle. You do not want taking off the glasses to be an attention-getting tool.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check the fit of the glasses. Stop by the optical shop if the frame loosens. As the child grows, the glasses may become tight or uncomfortable. Glasses that are poorly fitted can easily slip and slide down, and they then become useless.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be positive. Parents’ and grandparents’ attitude can influence a child more than you think. Make glasses &amp;quot;cool&amp;quot; for your child: point out pictures of sports stars or entertainers who wear glasses. For very young children, &amp;quot;being just like mommy or nana&amp;quot; may be what counts.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Compliment your child for remembering to wear his or her glasses&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your child some say in selecting the frame. Select three or four different frames that are acceptable to you, and then let the child pick the one he or she likes best.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make the glasses a part of the child's daily routine. Put them on in the morning as your child is getting dressed and remove them before naps and bedtime. Enlist the teachers’ help by telling them your child's schedule for wearing glasses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T01:11:31.223" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20310" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20368" CreationDate="2015-05-21T16:52:23.197" Score="12" ViewCount="1648" Body="&lt;p&gt;Similar to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3442/how-to-go-about-regaining-the-trust-of-my-child&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;, except it just started yesterday, and the child is 3.&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;My son is 3, turning 4 next month. My ex was inching to take away my weekend visits, and I compromised (since it's summer). She then tried taking away my one weeknight from visitation, and I said no. She turned hostile towards me, and I did my best to ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She promised to take him fishing on my week day without first checking with me. After I said that I had plans with him on that day (during my time that the consent order we have in place says), she told me that &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; had to tell him that &lt;strong&gt;I'm&lt;/strong&gt; cancelling his plans to go fishing. And yes, after researching about PAS, I know that's a classic start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After I picked him up, he seemed normal. I always say &quot;I love you&quot; when I buckle him in before driving &lt;em&gt;anywhere&lt;/em&gt;, even down the street. After we got home, he said he wanted to go back to his mom's, repeatedly. I asked why, and he said &quot;Because  and mommy said so&quot;. He still listened like he normally does, but this behaviour only started when I denied her request to take away all my time with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This morning, before I went to drop him off, he was back to normal: said &quot;I love you&quot; to me, cuddled with me before leaving, etc. I felt a bit better, but I still feel extremely powerless in dealing with this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my province, there is no law against a parent alienating the other parent to the child. Custody would not be granted on this basis alone. According to many experts, I should just leave it alone, and always tell him that I love him, and never bash his mom and step dad (which I never do anyways; I've heard too many stories of messed up minds in teens who believed this nonsense was about them). So my question is, with such a young child, &lt;strong&gt;what can I do to rectify the issue, and make sure he always knows I love him, no matter what anyone else says?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;(I'm sorta new to this particular SE; if I tagged wrong, please fix)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T12:48:12.863" Title="Dealing with parental alienation syndrome (PAS) when the child is younger" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|parents|divorce|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19806" CreationDate="2015-05-21T17:01:55.450" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The short and incomplete answer: between as young as two or possibly younger, and as late as late teenage years/early adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From perusing &quot;transgender identity formation&quot; and other queries on google scholar, it's clear that &lt;strong&gt;there is no one conclusive answer&lt;/strong&gt;, partly because we are still defining the terms of &quot;identity&quot; and &quot;gender&quot;, and also because &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;The field of lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender (LGBT) studies is&#xA;  characterized by competing paradigms expressed in various ways: nature&#xA;  versus nurture, biology versus environment, and essentialism versus&#xA;  social constructionism&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;from Shifting Sands or Solid Foundation? Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Identity Formation, by Michele J. Eliason ad Robert Schope.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-0-387-31334-4_1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-0-387-31334-4_1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of research uses the concept of &quot;milestone events&quot; or &quot;milestone experiences&quot; at different stages of development as a way to map the construction of sexual identity - for example: the recollection of a moment of awareness of sexuality, the articulation of that awareness, the conscious thoughts relating to sexual desire, actual physical events of various nature, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wether you define such and such event as of importance and which label you attach to it will impact on what you consider was part of the &quot;construction&quot; of &quot;identity&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16318" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T17:01:55.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19617" CreationDate="2015-05-21T17:25:41.327" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants and toddlers crave predictability and comfort, it makes them feel safe and happy and teaches them that things are okay even if sometimes unexpected events happen or changes in the routine happen.&#xA;There are so many factors that could be at play, but if you're ready to try anything to &lt;strong&gt;help everyone sleep better&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cut all screen time (TV, tablet, everything) until he is at least 24&#xA;months old. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/1040.full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) discourages media use by children younger than 2 years&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cut all foods containing sugar except raw fruits and a small glass&#xA;of juice in the morning.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take an appointment at a Naturopathy Clinic about the eczema.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Figure out a routine that fits with your needs, make it realistic and rock solid, and - VERY IMPORTANT - tell him step by step what this routine is, before it starts, as you are starting it, and at every step while you are going through it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example : &quot;You're going to have a bath, then go put on pajamas. We'll read two stories (make sure you stick to two if that's what you decide:), then we'll rock and sing a lullaby and then you'll go to sleep.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You repeat this at every step, modifying it to say what has been done, what is now happening, and what is coming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the routine, you leave quietly and let him figure out how to fall asleep. 5 minutes of crying  before falling asleep is totally normal for a toddler who is in general happy and healthy. It's not worth fighting every night because he will grow into different phases anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16318" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditDate="2019-04-23T14:57:20.327" LastActivityDate="2019-04-23T14:57:20.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20081" CreationDate="2015-05-21T17:37:28.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;19 months is too early to get into complicated strategies, and time-out is just a waste of time as you've discovered, keep it simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a health check with a doctor to talk about it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be mindfully and rigorously consistent about how you react to his&#xA;screaming ; he keeps doing it because he thinks there is still&#xA;something new he can get out of it. If the same thing keeps happening,&#xA;he'll get bored and move on to something else.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This may sound silly to some but it's worth a shot: have you tried telling him normally as would to an adult how you feel about his screaming? Don't be fooled, babies are smart and by the time they are 1 yr old usually understand the essential of what is happening and being said.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16318" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T17:37:28.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20298" CreationDate="2015-05-21T18:31:31.613" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Searching &quot;early formal academics&quot; will provide quite a few resources on this subject.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://ecrp.uiuc.edu/v4n1/marcon.html&quot;&gt;Moving up the Grades: Relationship between Preschool Model and Later School Success&lt;/a&gt; by Rebecca Marcon is a good representative source.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of parents feel like pushing more formalized education earlier gives the child a head start, but there's a growing body of research that says otherwise.  What gives a child the longest-lasting advantage is learning that is directed by the child at his or her own pace and interest level.  This kind of learning is usually indistinguishable from play in the toddler and preschool ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means providing lots of &lt;em&gt;opportunities&lt;/em&gt; for learning, then going into more depth on the activities your child shows an interest in.  Most kids are pretty good at showing you what they're ready for, and at what pace.  Way too many parents nowadays aren't very good at paying attention to that, but it's not too difficult when you make a conscious effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean you should just plop your toddler down in front of the TV all day.  Kids are hard-wired to learn, and they love doing it.  It's a good thing to introduce a game identifying shapes and colors, notice your kid enjoys it and asks to play it frequently, so you do until she knows her shapes and colors well and starts wanting to do something else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's quite another matter to realize your kid is 4 and still doesn't seem interested in shapes and colors, so you freak out, buy some flash cards, and quiz him repeatedly until he learns them.  The former has long-term benefits.  The latter does not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most parents I know are further down the &quot;pushy&quot; spectrum than they realize.  There's a certain sense of pride in &quot;teaching&quot; your child something, even things they would have eventually learned on their own in a much more meaningful way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When you teach a child something you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. &amp;mdash; Jean Piaget&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T18:31:31.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20298" CreationDate="2015-05-21T19:45:21.587" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A person's ability to learn and retain learning are inversely proportionate to their age.  This doesn't mean you should start teaching your child collegiate-level philosophy, but it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; mean you should try to take advantage of your child's openness to learning.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spending time with your child teaching them basic things is a good way to form a long-lasting bond with them, prepares them for the learning experience they will be facing in school, and ensures that they will learn things that you might &lt;em&gt;assume&lt;/em&gt; they'd learn in school, but actually do not (you'd be surprised - school is not a be-all-end-all for learning things, and as it gets more and more regulated, more and more things get left out).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to force your child to learn everything right away - especially if they don't show any interest at first - but repetition &lt;em&gt;also&lt;/em&gt; aids learning, and starting early gives your child an advantage in learning in the future.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T19:45:21.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20298" CreationDate="2015-05-21T21:49:18.823" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What a toddler should be learning should be nearly entirely focused on social development and physical development.  Learning to play with others, learning to get along with others, learning to talk and communicate.  Learning to run, skip, hop, jump, climb.  Playing is a toddler's job, and primary method of learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you're hell-bent on your toddler having playdates, going to the park, and stacking rings, you're doing an excellent job, and on the right track.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we consider academic learning - learning to count, learning the ABCs, even really learning colors and shapes - aren't particularly important to learn super early, though they often are easy to slip in with the rest of what they're doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as reading, some &lt;a href=&quot;http://educationnext.org/much-too-early/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;argue that it &lt;em&gt;should not&lt;/em&gt; be taught that early&lt;/a&gt;, because some children's brains are not ready for the concepts yet; instead, letting them absorb more information at a simpler level will get them ready for success later.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some nations (&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Education_in_Finland&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Finland&lt;/a&gt; for example) teach reading quite late - Finland starts at seven, for example - but still have highly literate and intelligent populations; there's not a lot of evidence that teaching children as a group to read earlier than 6 or so is much of a help in long-term success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean that you shouldn't help learn the building blocks, though.  Vocabulary, grammar, and many basic concepts can be learned during that age simply through normal play and hearing parents and other adults in their every day conversations.  Some children will be ready to learn to read or learn mathematics at an earlier age; my almost-four year old can do basic addition, for example, and not really by any attempt on my part to teach him.  His mind just works that way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child shows a readiness to read or add or whatever, help him or her.  If not - well, providing a basis for future learning is very powerful as well.  And above all else, make sure most of their time is spent playing: playing &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/fitness/Pages/Playing-is-How-Toddlers-Learn.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;is how toddlers learn&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-21T21:49:18.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20319" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20323" CreationDate="2015-05-21T22:38:00.473" Score="0" ViewCount="150" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids are very responsive to learning math.  I have a math background and they respond to my methods of teaching.  But so far I haven't been consistent in terms of frequency and content.  I'd like to follow some format so they learn things in the right order.  Is there a good online program or book that will provide proper order, examples, problem sets, etc?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16324" LastActivityDate="2023-05-09T04:56:54.373" Title="Is there a good online mathematics curriculum for elementary through high school?" Tags="|learning|math|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-22T23:42:52.750" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20319" CreationDate="2015-05-22T01:20:35.460" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.khanacademy.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.khanacademy.org/&lt;/a&gt; has a lot of resources. Practice problems, hints, how-to videos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://collegeopentextbooks.org/opentextbookcontent/open-textbooks-by-subject/math&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;myriad&lt;/a&gt; of open source textbooks out there too. These are mostly college texts, but there are also some high school texts. There are a lot of homeschooling resources out there too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16234" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T01:20:35.460" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-22T23:42:52.750" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20324" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-22T02:46:08.427" Score="4" ViewCount="5485" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, our girl (of twins) really needed to be picked up to be soothed.  Both me and mom have tendonitis in our left hands.  Specifically I was diagnosed with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/de-quervains-tenosynovitis/basics/definition/con-20027238&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;de Quervain's&lt;/a&gt;, though mom technically hasn't been diagnosed yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume others here have had this issue as well (mom's mom had it, from carrying mom's sis when she came out of a second hospital run).  What did you do to get better?  Any exercises, or are the cortisone shots coming fast in our near future?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-24T16:16:16.750" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T17:44:54.363" Title="Wrist tendonitis from carrying babies" Tags="|health|parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20325" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20326" CreationDate="2015-05-22T04:12:58.200" Score="3" ViewCount="1624" Body="&lt;p&gt;Various places/things carry warnings that you should be careful around &quot;children, elderly, and others with weak immune systems.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age does a child not fall under this category?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2715" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T07:27:02.783" Title="When do children's immune systems become as effective as adults?" Tags="|sickness|growth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20325" CreationDate="2015-05-22T06:21:27.857" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I'm going to make an educated guess that for many illnesses, the at-risk age is under 5 years old, but children under 2 years of age are particularly vulnerable.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've garnered this information from several resources. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is the Center for Disease Control's pages on on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/children.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;flu&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/disease/high_risk.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;flu-related complications&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;h3&gt;Influenza is dangerous for children&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Influenza (“the flu”) is more dangerous than the common cold for children. Each year, many children get sick with seasonal influenza; some of those illnesses result in death.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Children commonly need medical care because of influenza, especially before they turn 5 years old.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Severe influenza complications are most common in children younger than 2 years old.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;h3&gt;People at High Risk for Developing Flu-Related Complications&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Children younger than 5, but especially children younger than 2 years old&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another source is a study done &quot;sub-Saharan Africa and south Asia&quot; regarding diarrhea. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673613608442&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The study&lt;/a&gt; involved over 22,000 children (over half of which were a control group). It found that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Odds of dying during follow-up were 8·5-fold higher in patients with moderate-to-severe diarrhoea than in controls (odd ratio 8·5, 95% CI 5·8–12·5, p&amp;lt;0·0001); &lt;strong&gt;most deaths (167 [87·9%]) occurred during the first 2 years of life&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emphasis mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another source for the 5-year mark, rather than the 2-year mark, is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.polioeradication.org/Polioandprevention.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Polio awareness website&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;h3&gt;Who is at risk?&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Polio can strike at any age, but it mainly affects children under five years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The World Health Organization specifically tracks &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/immunization/monitoring_surveillance/burden/estimates/rotavirus/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;rotavirus-related deaths for children aged 5 and under&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/diphtheria/clinicians.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dipetheria is deadlier for children under 5&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The case-fatality rate for diphtheria has changed very little during the last 50 years. The overall case-fatality rate for diphtheria is 5%–10%, with higher death rates (up to 20%) among persons younger than 5 and older than 40 years of age. Before there was treatment for diphtheria, the disease was fatal in up to half of cases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs286/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Deaths from measles&lt;/a&gt; primarily occur in children under 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The disease remains one of the leading causes of death among young children globally, despite the availability of a safe and effective vaccine. Approximately 145 700 people died from measles in 2013 – mostly children under the age of 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I intentionally sought data on the deadliest childhood diseases, rather than some other common illness such as the cold or ear infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the reasons I did this is because the deadly diseases are under more heavy surveillance by governing bodies of disease prevention, such as the CDC and WHO. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another reason is that I believe the increased rates of death could be extrapolated to mean decreased immune strength. I can't back up this second belief with any evidence, and I know there are other possible contributing factors: a younger body has different physiology other than just weaker immune systems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I would be comfortable in assuming that if these terrible illness wreak more havoc in children under 5 years old, then less horrible illnesses are also likely to be more severe for the same age group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Most of the illnesses I've mentioned are preventable through vaccination. Deaths are more commonly found in populations without access to vaccinations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T07:27:02.783" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T07:27:02.783" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20327" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20329" CreationDate="2015-05-22T08:56:49.350" Score="1" ViewCount="1823" Body="&lt;p&gt;I speak Italian, my wife French (but not often) and we live in UK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only clear word my son says is &quot;mamma&quot;. He is actually quite talkative: he often takes the phone and starts &quot;chatting&quot; for a few minutes, but none of the words he says make sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes he repeats words someone else says, but just once. If we ask him to say it again he doesn't (in general he doesn't like repeating himself. E.g. if he waved goodbye he won't do it again until next time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that multi-lingual children can start later, but I'm starting to be worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11222" LastActivityDate="2015-05-26T13:26:59.487" Title="My 16 month old son knows only a couple of words" Tags="|toddler|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20327" CreationDate="2015-05-22T10:29:35.690" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children develop at their own speed. Especially language shows a lot of variation. Some start early and form complex sentences soon, others start early, stay at the one- or two-word stage for a looong time, then catch up and some are virtually mute, then improve drastically and &quot;never stop talking&quot; again. If you search around here at Parenting SE there are a few charts and anecdotal stories on this subject. (I will check and add links later, if I have time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to add one from my experience: 2nd birthday, both children are basically the same age (3 weeks difference). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Boy 1: &quot;Paul, do you want whipped cream on your cake?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Boy 2: &quot;Paul cream want!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child starts speaking late, there are a few things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are his ears ok? That means, is he &lt;strong&gt;physically&lt;/strong&gt; able to understand what you are saying. You probably would have noticed this already as a failure to react on acoustic triggers. If in doubt, have him screened.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can he &lt;strong&gt;intellectually&lt;/strong&gt; understand what you are saying. Failure to do so becomes quite apparent if you can't communicate with your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(None of these seem to be the case according to what you tell us, I have includes these for other readers.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 16 months, your child would &lt;em&gt;typically&lt;/em&gt; be at the beginning of the one-word-sentence phase, would say some words and still struggle with a few sounds. Recent &lt;a href=&quot;http://www1.uni-hamburg.de/romanistik/personal/pdf-Dateien/bilchild.pdf&quot;&gt;research&lt;/a&gt; indicates that children who grow up with two languages reach the typical milestones at around the same time as monolingual children, albeit not neccessarily in both languages. The Canadian organisation &lt;a href=&quot;http://beststart.org&quot;&gt;beststart.org&lt;/a&gt; offers a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.beststart.org/resources/hlthy_chld_dev/BSRC_When_Families_Speak_fnl.pdf&quot;&gt;brochure&lt;/a&gt; for parents of multilingual children.&#xA;The typical &quot;explosion&quot; of new words is at around 30 months, that's almost twice as old as your child is now. Be patient. There will be those days when you wish they were silent, especially after the umpteenth &quot;But why?&quot; question or when you really, &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; need a break ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T16:08:33.053" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T16:08:33.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20330" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20356" CreationDate="2015-05-22T10:49:52.450" Score="6" ViewCount="1240" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age does the child start understanding the difference between the spoken words like C, See, Eight, Ate, and Eat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I speak English, I find that my pronunciation is same for all the similar sounding words mentioned above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use &quot;ate&quot; when I am taking in past tense. I do pronounce eat and ate differently.  But, the child uses &quot;eat&quot; to say whatever she wants. Example she says (after putting the pen in frog toy's mouth): &quot;Frog eat pen&quot;. Whereas it should be Frog ate pen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child is currently 2 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T12:51:13.060" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T03:10:44.010" Title="At what age does the child start understanding the difference between the spoken words which have different meanings but sound same?" Tags="|toddler|education|language-development|age-appropriate|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-22T11:49:38.337" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;With care you can reverse this situation, turn it into a teachable moment, and gain massive respect into the bargain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Recognise that 13 year old boys do really dumb things for girls&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really stupid, falling over themselves in circles like a little puppy dog  dumb. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age, swapping a shoe for a smile from a pretty girl might seem like a good trade. Attraction clouds judgement, and he presumably hasn't learned to handle himself yet. This is something you will need to teach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Make him aware of the problem he has caused&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's a good kid you can explain to him clearly and calmly the family financial problem he has caused. Show him the budget spreadsheet and the hole he's made. Show him what will have to be sacrificed to make up the difference and how that's going to hurt everyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be calm about it and not accusatory. He will probably come to understand the problem he has caused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Give him natural consequences (but not too severe)&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making him walk around with only one shoe is probably a bit cruel. I would buy him a cheap pair of shoes and make him use those for a little while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Remember it's only shoes&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be a lot worse. He might have started smoking or taking drugs, or dropped out of school. Shoes can be fixed. Maintain perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Gain respect by quietly solving the problem&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point you have two options, you can either hold him to account for the money, or you can forgive, move on, and try to fix the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you hold him to account, your son goes in debt to you to the tune of $500. This is a big deal. It's a true statement that the borrower is slave to the lender, I don't think this is the relationship you want with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to call the number on the charity box and explain what happened. You might be able to get them to open the box and recover the shoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make him sweat for a while until he shows contrition and learns the lesson, then replace the shoes in his wardrobe. Your son will be impressed. You'll earn his respect for cleverly solving the problem and strengthen your bond with him. If he respects you he will care what you say and think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will also solve a financial problem. All his money ultimately comes from you after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-05-26T11:44:55.737" LastActivityDate="2015-05-26T11:44:55.737" CommentCount="22" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4977" CreationDate="2015-05-22T12:58:00.537" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't see the fail. He stomped on a car window and cracked it, and you got angry at him and took him down. As a child, he will do stupid dangerous things from time to time. It's within your remit as a parent to get angry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're also human, you're not a stimulus response machine, you have emotions and this is acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do need to make sure your relationship is not damaged though. My advice would be to wait a while till everyone is calm, then cuddle and make up. Explain the problem, tell him you are sorry you were angry, get him to apologise, cuddle a bit more, then move on and have a fun day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T12:58:00.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20304" CreationDate="2015-05-22T13:42:46.493" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Introduce him to a super hero who wears them... Clark Kent, Cyclops maybe? Associate them with his new special power of seeing far from his special gear like they use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://marvel.com/news/comics/23586/iron_man_introduces_blue_ear&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://marvel.com/news/comics/23586/iron_man_introduces_blue_ear&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16339" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T13:42:46.493" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6397" CreationDate="2015-05-22T13:56:38.413" Score="0" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Different kids are motivated by different things.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say he is not motivated by rewards, well what have you tried? You have certain things that you need him to do. My eldest really likes money. My middle child: iPad time and stickers. My youngest: sweets on Friday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of different reward schemes you might try. I know someone who has a monkey that moves up and down a pole. Nice things happen while the monkey is at the top of the pole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had different sized stars on a chalkboard for a while. The kids would do practically anything for a super-mega star.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these schemes lost their power over time. We had to continually adapt and become more sophisticated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my eldest won't help me with something I sometimes say &quot;well OK then, I'll do it&quot; (huffy, disappointed voice). That usually gets him out of his seat pretty quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Companionship can be motivating. Working alongside someone can be bonding. Loading the dishwasher together can be fun. Tidying a room as a team can be a family activity. Later he will learn to do it on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Different kids have different psychologies&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was younger my dad was often angry with me because all I wanted to do was read books and muck about with computers. Now I'm an IT consultant so it worked out quite well for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very easy to mistake something like ASD for laziness. Is he particularly focussed on one thing? Does he like doing anything at all? Perhaps that's the thing to put effort into.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sensory issues could also be confused for laziness. Perhaps he doesn't want to grasp a thing because it feels yucky. You say he dislikes brushing his teeth. Could there be a sensory issue there? Is he a fussy eater? Is he bothered by unfamiliar clothing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depression is also a possibility. Is he listless, slow, bored?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allergies can cause tiredness. I remember being terribly tired as a child. Turns out I had a cat allergy. Remove the cat and my energy improved dramatically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Failing that, some kids are just a bit spoilt&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a possibility for you? Are you imposing adequate discipline, making him work for things, etc? Is his life too easy? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of possible reasons why a child might behave in this way and it's hard to say which one applies here. Hopefully this thread has given you some ideas. Best of luck with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T14:11:01.307" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T14:11:01.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20330" CreationDate="2015-05-22T14:04:49.737" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found that it comes along as I have corrected my daughter's speech over the years as well. At the age of two I'd say she's doing just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://drhart.net/clinic/forms/Denver%20II%20Developmental%20Milestones.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this chart&lt;/a&gt;, she should be barely understandable. Sounds like your child's speech is on track, although it doesn't cover when you get into present versus past tense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/communication/comm_2_to_3.html?tracking=P_RelatedArticle&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this site&lt;/a&gt;, your child is on the brink of tremendous growth in their language abilities. This stage of development is when word knowledge leaps from around 50 words or so up to 200. These are just different words, not even covering the tense of the words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say, similar to what @DanBeale said in his comment, to keep talking with the child and model good language habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realized I didn't actually answer your question of&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age does the child start understanding the difference between the spoken words like C, See, Eight, Ate, and Eat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't seem to track anything down regarding the answer to that exact question. Some of it may boil down to &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; they learn the word. You can help differentiate between the two by comparing them. &amp;quot;Letter &lt;em&gt;C&lt;/em&gt; looks like this. I &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; the letters.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9135" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T14:42:01.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-22T14:43:58.163" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;How is you family dealing with ownership within the household?  If the shoes were &quot;his,&quot; free and clear, then he can do whatever he wants with him.  However, if when you bought them for him, there were strings attached (like &quot;these shoes are expensive, but we think you'll do good things with them&quot;), then he did not have the right to give them away without consulting.  I have a suspicion this is in a grey area within your household.  Otherwise he either would not have donated them, or you wouldn't have had problems with him doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think learning about donations is a valuable lesson, even in such an abstract situation.  Sure, it'd have been nice if he didn't donate something he currently needed, but that's a lesson one has to learn.  Better he does this now than later in his high school career when he tries to donate the car you got him!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Now, all of that is generalized psychology.  I feel qualified in delivering that part.  The next part (what to do about it) must come with a disclaimer that, while I was a 13 year old boy once, I don't have any of my own, so take it with a grain of salt.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The conversation that probably needs to happen is one of the complexities of ownership within a household.  He should know you still love him, but he also needs to know that his actions have consequences.  You feel betrayed by his actions, because you feel his sense of ownership did not align with yours as a parent.  Explain that there will be consequences, because now you have to consider his apparent treatment of his property when buying new things &quot;for him.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you don't buy him a new pair of shoes.  Perhaps you buy a new pair of shoes and loan them to him like a mortgage (do you have a home or an apartment?  If this happens to be an opportunity to teach him about some of the bills you have to pay, so much the better!).  Work with him on the choice of shoes.  They're going to have to be affordable and durable enough to keep his feet covered until he can pay them off, but they also should be a style that he can wear to school.  It will likely be a tough choice for him, especially if he likes the &quot;cool&quot; shoes which cost a lot.  You aren't obligated to loan him just any set of shoes -- only shoes which you think benefit him at the price/goodness ratio you see fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also start being more strict about use of objects you &quot;own,&quot; but I would be careful with this approach.  It could create more of a divide between you and your son.  However, at least for the short term, he needs to understand that you respond to his choices (define &quot;short term&quot; according to how long it takes him to learn a lesson), however you choose to implement that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T14:43:58.163" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20298" CreationDate="2015-05-22T15:57:10.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends on your definition of &quot;stuff&quot; in &quot;learning stuff&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0544104404&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;good amount of study&lt;/a&gt; that explain that teaching academic to young kids isn't really necessary. What is important is that you teach/show character, or in other word &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_functions&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;executive function&lt;/a&gt;. If you can teach your kid self control (body/emotion), working hard, critical thinking and language/communication then learning academic in school will be easy for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is good news since it mean that parents who aren't educated can raise a very smart kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T15:57:10.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20341" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-22T19:56:23.173" Score="0" ViewCount="181" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent but this is a question for parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been Agnostic for a while now, but my Mother is a Christian, and a very big one at that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm kind of scared to tell her, but that may be my inferiority complex kicking in, so I would like some advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I'm still a young kid, and my Mother is the type of person who thinks she's always right, so I don't know how to go about this without major problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16351" LastEditorUserId="16351" LastEditDate="2015-05-22T20:24:39.960" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T11:22:57.627" Title="How do I tell my Mom I'm Agnostic?" Tags="|religion|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-06-07T11:23:03.997" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="889" CreationDate="2015-05-22T20:05:33.000" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;For completeness, though Im not necessarily recommending this...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the NICU, they rolled up a receiving blanket, taped it as a tight roll, and then taped the pacifier to the end.  It gave a good long tool to hold the paci close to our girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And though we use this, it's not without risks.  In the NICU, the kids are on monitors all the time, so if there are any breathing issues they can address.  Also, since they're on monitors, they let them sleep on their stomachs and sides a bit, so the pacifier/blanket is less likely to be popped out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though it's a risk, we feel it's lowish risk.  The blanket roll is too big to get in her mouth, and rolled tight enough that it's not soft, so will not cover her nose. We inspect the tape every time to see if anything is loose. And she can't sleep without a paci at this point; so it's either this, or no sleep for her, which is a health risk in itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also use the wub-a-nub that @gaosan80 mentioned.  We have a broad spectrum of pacifiers, depending on situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T20:05:33.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20327" CreationDate="2015-05-22T20:28:00.043" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is also 16 months and I was starting to worry slightly as he didn't seem to be saying any words until recently. He didn't even say Mama or Papa. I had read that at one year, children should be saying one or two words in addition to Mummy and Daddy. However, in recent weeks, we suddenly started to understand a lot of words from my son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He currently only uses short, one syllable words and they're not very clear which makes me think that perhaps he was saying them sooner than we realised, we just didn't understand. I think we were also a bit strict with what we counted as a word but after reading up a bit, I found several sources that reassured me that the word doesn't need to be pronounced perfectly to count. So I started to count a few words that I didn't consider a proper word before. For example my son says dog without pronouncing the g but I count it because he says it in the correct context. I also started to count some things like animal noises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found these two questions and answers useful and reassuring:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2616/how-important-is-the-pronunciation-of-a-toddlers-first-words?rq=1&quot;&gt;How important is the pronunciation of a toddler&amp;#39;s first words?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14674/how-to-know-if-12-month-old-is-talking&quot;&gt;How to know if 12 month old is talking&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just prior to understanding some of his words, it started to become clear that our son was understanding more and more of what we said. Since your son understands what you say, I imagine that he will soon start saying some words. With our son, he went quickly from saying nothing which we counted as a word to now saying somewhere around 20-30 words. The first words we understood were things he was interested in like his shoes, dog, cat, duck. I would suggest listening carefully when he's excited about something he likes a lot and you may start to understand something that he's trying to say. Don't be too strict on the definition of a word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We speak two languages to our son which as you say is generally accepted to cause later speaking and you are speaking three so I imagine that effect is multiplied. In addition to understanding what he's trying to say, you'll have to try and figure out which language it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T20:28:00.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20319" CreationDate="2015-05-22T23:26:56.650" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A math teacher friend of mine recommended Saxon or Singapore.  There are a ton of resources available for each.  Based on some research I'm going to go with Saxon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16324" LastActivityDate="2015-05-22T23:26:56.650" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-22T23:42:52.750" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20298" CreationDate="2015-05-23T06:39:24.593" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've tried in earnest to find studies to back up my following hypothesis, but I don't think I'm using the correct search terms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that teaching your child more vocabulary &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; is much better than trying to teach them all that same vocabulary &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; their age-appropriate vocabulary 4 years years from now. There's a soft limit of how many new words per day can be learned by any individual, given the methods used, intelligence level, and amount of effort expended. Whichever way you slice up that time, I don't see making up 4 years of opportunity to be a worthwhile process. The time and effort you expend doing that at a later age, no matter how trivial, could be used for any other educational experience. (This is my hypothesis.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, most studies done on lexical development and language acquisition that I have access to are done to study &lt;em&gt;second&lt;/em&gt; language acquisition, and not &lt;em&gt;native&lt;/em&gt; language acquisition. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the only authoritative answer I can give on the subject must come from personal observation and experience. I am the authority when it comes to language acquisition, lexical development, and verbal comprehension of my son, who is now 2.25 years of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We teach my son numbers, colors, shapes, sizes, and any number of adjectives (and adverbs!) in addition to nouns (objects, animals, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has had an amazing effect on our ability to communicate with him, and his ability to communicate with us. It has had an &lt;em&gt;immediate&lt;/em&gt; functional value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are examples of the things we can say to my son, where he has full comprehension and can perform the related tasks:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get your &lt;em&gt;green&lt;/em&gt; shoes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get your socks. You need &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; of them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Which &lt;em&gt;color&lt;/em&gt; shirt do you want to wear today?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you get a &lt;em&gt;blue&lt;/em&gt; car to play with?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can't throw &lt;em&gt;hard&lt;/em&gt; balls inside. Please go get a &lt;em&gt;soft&lt;/em&gt; ball.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you want to eat more of the &lt;em&gt;yellow&lt;/em&gt; chicken or the &lt;em&gt;red&lt;/em&gt; chicken? (Actually Sesame vs General Tso's)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you get Papa's &lt;em&gt;blue&lt;/em&gt; shoes, with the &lt;em&gt;white&lt;/em&gt; &lt;em&gt;bottoms&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What &lt;em&gt;color&lt;/em&gt; melon do you want? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That is &lt;em&gt;hot&lt;/em&gt;, don't touch it!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We can play outside if it's not &lt;em&gt;raining&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you pick up the toy with the &lt;em&gt;letter A&lt;/em&gt; on it? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Which &lt;em&gt;shape&lt;/em&gt; do you want to use? (This is used a lot when using Play-Doh tools and cookie cutters!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you want the &lt;em&gt;blue&lt;/em&gt; hat or the &lt;em&gt;red&lt;/em&gt; hat?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your toy is on your &lt;em&gt;top&lt;/em&gt; shelf, on the &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your car is &lt;em&gt;behind&lt;/em&gt; you &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't go &lt;em&gt;under&lt;/em&gt; the chair&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay &lt;em&gt;next to&lt;/em&gt; Papa in the parking lot&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And here are things he'll say to us without any prompting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Want &lt;em&gt;big green&lt;/em&gt; ball.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Want &lt;em&gt;red&lt;/em&gt; berries.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Want &lt;em&gt;white&lt;/em&gt; milk.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Want yellow frisbee.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Too &lt;em&gt;loud&lt;/em&gt;.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Want &lt;em&gt;big&lt;/em&gt; lion.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Too &lt;em&gt;hot&lt;/em&gt;.&quot; (Food-wise.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Me &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; crayons.&quot; (I have two crayons)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;My &lt;em&gt;red&lt;/em&gt; cup.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;My draw 'H'&quot; (I drew an 'H')&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are examples that have happened within the last week, some of them today. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Our efforts towards increasing our son's vocabulary at 2 years of age have enabled us to:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Communicate to him our desires and requests&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Elicit detailed responses from him&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Enabled him to more accurately and quickly express his needs and desires &lt;em&gt;to us&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would never trade the ability I have to communicate meaningfully with my son just to remove a few moments of teaching time from our lives each day. We don't see these learning opportunities as a bother, and actually enjoy them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect that if my son could not communicate so well with us, we would spend considerably more time &lt;em&gt;failing to communicate&lt;/em&gt; than we would ever spend teaching him these simple concepts. The nature of this assertion, however, makes it nearly impossible to study scientifically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-23T16:36:24.927" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T16:36:24.927" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20350" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20360" CreationDate="2015-05-23T11:05:25.413" Score="9" ViewCount="1987" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is 2 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When do children start understanding the concept of today, yesterday, and tomorrow? When do they start understanding that the days are passing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-23T11:06:45.327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-25T17:18:11.073" Title="When do children become aware of time?" Tags="|toddler|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20351" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-23T11:36:14.940" Score="8" ViewCount="700" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to teach my kids how to cook because I think it's a generally useful life skill. In addition to working in the kitchen and actually preparing dishes, &lt;strong&gt;how can I get them more involved in the ingredient acquisition process&lt;/strong&gt;? Currently their presence in the store is largely just &quot;I'm here because Parent needs to shop.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(The ages range from 3 to 11, so this is not particularly focused on one age group. I expect this to be a long-term habit for me and them, anyway!)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-25T15:03:29.843" LastActivityDate="2015-05-25T15:03:29.843" Title="How can I teach my kids how to shop for groceries effectively?" Tags="|shopping|life-skills|cooking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20351" CreationDate="2015-05-23T12:38:25.780" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;For us it was two simple information radiators: the shopping list on the fridge and the weekly meal plan hung up nearby. Once a child could write, if they used something up they had to write it on the shopping list. If they wanted something we didn't have, they had to write it on the shopping list and we generally bought it. Yes, this resulted in some adorably written requests for MASHMLLS or CHKLIT, some of which we granted. Visiting children were also taught that when stuff was used up it has to go on the list. And we allowed our children, and visitors, to prepare food with an appropriate level of supervision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's simple enough, when you're making the meal plan and having trouble thinking up 7 meals, to ask the kids what we haven't eaten lately that they would like, and to put that on the meal plan and then add the items to the list. These two things will have them routinely engaged with the shopping list when they are at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the store, they can perhaps push the cart (badly pushed carts frustrate parents and other shoppers, so make this a privilege that is easily revoked) and definitely get things from the shelves for you. We need canned tomatoes, get me 4 cans. No, that's not our brand, the one to the right of it. (For a young enough child, this is great for practicing counting, left and right, colours etc.) Hm, this size of the oil is 3.99 and this size is 5.99 and if you look at these tiny numbers on the sticker you can see that the larger size is a better buy. Let's get the large one. This label means the soup we like is on sale. We're going to buy more than usual because it's cheaper today. We need some sweet peppers. That one is wrinkly, don't buy a wrinkly pepper. We need apples. What kind of apple should we get this week? We need avocados. Make sure they are not rock hard. We need some meat. Wow, $11 for one steak? We can't afford that. Maybe we can afford the pork chops. I could buy this blade roast and pot-roast it, we like pot roast right? It's less than half the price of the sirloin roast. We don't buy chicken here sweetie, they inject salt water in it and I don't like how the chickens are treated. We can get chicken at the farm this weekend when we get the vegetables. There is already sweet cereal at home and it's not on the list, so I'm not getting that. Yes I know you wrote marshmallows on the list again, but they are a once in a while treat, not every week, so I'm not getting them. Hey! I saw that! Do you really like tuna that much? Don't put soft stuff down in the bottom of the cart, your brother might put a can on it and we don't want to squish it do we? I'll put it up here. How many bananas do you think we need for a week? Remember there's no school on Friday so everyone will be home for lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it takes a LOT longer. But it's an apprenticeship. My kids are great cooks. One was able to be vegan (which requires a lot of attention to detail and willingness to cook for yourself) for extended periods of time and one is a chef (went to culinary school, works in restaurants and catering.) One of the visitors even followed those footsteps, also went to culinary school, and also works cooking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T12:38:25.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20351" CreationDate="2015-05-23T14:58:26.423" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For younger kids&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One thing that worked for us (once the kids learned to read) was a 2-prong approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain in detail the heathfulness of specific ingredients (starting with &quot;junk&quot;/&quot;good for you&quot; at early age, to more in depth science later on).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have them read all the ingredients on any item in the kitchen, and discuss the items overall healthfulness.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is easy to gamify in many ways, e.g. &quot;find the healthiest item in a bunch&quot;, or &quot;which of these items are good for your eyes?&quot; (find VitA/carrotine filled stuff), or &quot;Sort these items by how much calcium it has&quot; for higher maths skills.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To parrot an ealier answer, it's very helpful to involve them in making a shopping list (in our case, a more-fun experience since it involves a specialized shopping-list web site + smartphone app) - both as &quot;clerk&quot; work adding items on parents' behalf; and on their own when they wish something to be bought.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The usual approach to teaching younger kids - games. Many kids play-act shopping trips (including playing both shopper and cashier).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For older kids&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Another way to gamify (especially for older kids): you have to contribute to reap the fruits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;only cook some much-requested but high-effort treat if they do X amount of help with whatever cooking related chores you wish them to participate in, including shopping. Those who didn't pitch in get basic, low-maintenance food.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if a specific kid asks for specific (less usual) meal requiring specific ingredient, it only gets made if they got that ingredient themselves last week's shopping.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To address the update that the concern is mostly with older kids who become apathetic: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, one possible approach to take is to not as closely associate ingredient shopping with cooking. While they are intrinsically linked for high-level chefs who must discriminatingly choose best quality ingredients, for a 15 year old, merely knowing that a specific ingredient is junk or OK may be quite enough, and would be for the rest of their life. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For one thing, if you live in a large city in USA, in 10 years your kids may very well never do their own grocery shopping, and use Fresh Direct or its like. I know plenty of coworkers in their 20s who never go to shop for food, between Amazon and Fresh Direct.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you consider food shopping to be incredibly important for their development as cooks - despite the points above - merely treat (rom both their side and yours) food shopping to be the same as any other chores, with the same approaches/incentives/punishments that other chores involve.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A slightly different (and perhaps, better for you?) approach is to treat it as any other &quot;learning skill - make it required that they demonstrate proficiency as a necessary requirement for making the skill practice optional. E.g. &quot;if you want to sit in a car and read a book when we go to the supermarket; 3 weekends in a row you must &lt;em&gt;perfectly&lt;/em&gt; pick good and correct food items in the store according to my criteria&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach has 2 benefits - on one hand, it gives them a goal and an incentive to actually become proficient (unlike a regular chore); on another hand, it actually achieves your goal that you seem to state (not that they food shop instead of you, but that they know HOW to food shop).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2015-05-23T19:02:51.350" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T19:02:51.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18763" CreationDate="2015-05-23T15:12:38.120" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is immature and has no ability to prioritize anything then it seems clear that he is still eligible for being grounded. Does grounding him still work, even temporarily? If you find that grounding works but only for a short time and the cycle repeats every few weeks then consider this a form of discipline and direction. Don't be angry or nag him. Just treat it as a logical, inevitable, and unemotional consequence of his actions. As you say, he's a good kid, so you shouldn't be angry or disappointed with him. Obviously you would prefer him to be self-disciplined, but if he wasn't immature and could set his own priorities then he wouldn't need you. Kids are lazy and lack motivation. This isn't the fault of your parenting. If you let him fail because you expected him to be mature enough to know better then this is your fault. Obviously he is not... If grounding doesn't work or he begins to resent you then you might need to find a different way to discipline him. Discipline shouldn't be punishment or failure. This might be a lot of work for you, too, but you're setting an example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7475" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T15:12:38.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20330" CreationDate="2015-05-23T17:21:44.313" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the abstract of &lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&amp;amp;aid=2325992&amp;amp;fileId=S030500090000965X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt; of 60 3-year-old children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;From these experiments we conclude that children have the metalinguistic skills necessary to identify homonym pairs; moreover, they realized that homonyms represent two different categories. Finally, if children have a one-to-one mapping assumption, it is not strong enough to prevent them from acquiring homonyms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&amp;amp;aid=36817&amp;amp;fileId=S0305000997003103&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this study&lt;/a&gt; involving adults and children found that younger children (grades 5 and below), will make fewer context-based interpretations of homonyms than adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The results suggest that homonymity is a powerful inhibitor of children's tendency to derive a meaning for a new word from context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In plain terms, that means when a new word which sounds exactly the same as an old word (is a homonym), children have difficulty ascertaining the meaning of the new word from context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The author of this last study, Michèle M. M. Mazzocco, has also done other studies regarding homonyms that may be of interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this question asks about toddlers, research involving homonyms and homophones often includes older children. &lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10936-006-9028-5#page-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; specifically studied 9-, 10-, and 12-year-olds and found differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0010027780900128&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Another study&lt;/a&gt; found that in children 3-6 years old, the ability to understand the homonyms grew with age, with a jump in ability around 4 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This appears to be a subject that has ongoing research being done, with no clear, conclusive age about when homonyms are best understood. I would arrive at the interpretation that homonym acquisition is an ongoing process, rather than one that &quot;turns on&quot; at any given age, and that process can be helped along by reinforcement from parents and educators by using the homonyms in clearly different contexts. To use an example from one of the linked studies:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;The people are dancing at the &lt;em&gt;ball&lt;/em&gt;.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &quot;The players are hitting the &lt;em&gt;ball&lt;/em&gt; with a bat.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provide two clearly separate contexts for the homophones. Whereas&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;They threw a ball.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is potentially unclear, as it could refer to either of the homonyms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-11-22T03:10:44.010" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T03:10:44.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20351" CreationDate="2015-05-23T20:50:21.600" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You plan a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask them what they want to eat.  You then write a shopping list.  (You might want to buy some food magazines so that you can cut out pictures of food and use some glue-stick to stick them to your shopping list.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You go shopping.  You show them how to buy fruit and veg and meat (if you eat meat).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You come home and you cook and get them to help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's obviously a busy day, but you only need to do it once a month or so for the lessons to stick.  And the individual parts can be done any day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also set up &quot;meal planner boards&quot;, with pictures of food and they stick what they want to eat in the box at the top.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-05-23T20:50:21.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20350" CreationDate="2015-05-24T01:23:46.577" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the answer is vague, that might be because the question is also vague, perhaps not purposely, but it is, because there is a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; that relates to different kinds of time and the theory of the mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a long time, and the vast majority of people still believe this, people believed that of all animals, only humans had a concept of time, that animals live in a permanent present, or &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; (the fact that some animals can keep a beat essentially disproves this.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[The perception of time] is not an isolated module, but depends on the sophistication of other cognitive capacities, including self-awareness, meta-representation, mental attribution, understanding the perception- knowledge relationship, and dissociation of imagined mental states from one's present mental state. These capacities are also important aspects of so-called &quot;theory of mind&quot;, &lt;em&gt;and they appear to mature in children at around age four.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it can be argued that whenever a child can understand the concept of waiting their turn in a game, clapping to the rhythm of music (which depends on the accurate interpretation of past intervals and future intervals), counting to 10 in hide-and-seek or even when the concept of &lt;em&gt;object permanence&lt;/em&gt; develops, there exists a distinct understanding of concept of time. It isn't necessarily exactly like ours - actually the perception of time continues to change throughout life - but it's there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The concept of &quot;now&quot; vs. &quot;later/before&quot; occurs in the pre-verbal stage. The concepts of &quot;today and tomorrow&quot; appear much earlier than the adult understanding of time, which as stated above occurs around the ages of 4 or 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth is that certain things &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; follow certain timetables, and other things do not. In the usual model of childhood development, probably the most &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Piaget#Influence&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;influential person in the past century&lt;/a&gt; is Jean Piaget (1896-1980) was a developmental psychologist/philosopher known for his theory of cognitive development. The problem is that many children don't follow the 'rules', that is, there's more variability to development than the linear development model allows. Kids can have a moment of sophistication followed by a moment of something 2 stages back, i.e., a 1:1 relationship between stages and ages isn't always supported by reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child is told that they will go to the DisneyWorld tomorrow, and they wake up the next day asking &quot;when are we leaving?&quot;, then trust that they understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my kids, that happened well before age four.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cogprints.org/725/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mental time travel and the evolution of the human mind&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cogsci.northwestern.edu/speakers/2006-2007/papers/mcauley_etAl_2006.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Time of Our Lives: Life Span Development of Timing and Event Tracking&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;Emerging Minds:The Process of Change in Children's Thinking, Oxford University Press&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psy.cmu.edu/~siegler/AmerPsy05.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children's Learning&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-24T01:23:46.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20350" CreationDate="2015-05-24T01:59:07.140" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the record I am looking at this question as two different sub question. First question is when do humans gain temporal awareness? and when are they are they able to make sense of this temporal awareness? (I.E when are humans able to construct a meaningful relationship between their temporal awareness and a language). Also, I think I should make this abundantly clear how I define time and awareness may be abundantly different than you so when you read the next paragraph please keep this in mind.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So first things first when do we as humans gain temporal awareness? The earliest &lt;strong&gt;suggestion&lt;/strong&gt; I can find is about 1 month. However, I don't think that particular study is strong evidence. In essence that study demonstrated that infants are able to &quot;learn&quot; a given temporal interval between two events, but considering it was behavioral study it's hard ensure what was observed was indeed awareness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moving on, a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15464354&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; done with 10 month year infants has shown an infants brain reacts in the same way as adult's to temporal deviations. But, the fun doesn't stop there as a follow up &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18275328&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; by the same authors discovered in essence that infants automatically detect temporal irregularities when given repetitive stimuli. So what do these studies mean? It means given a repetitive stimuli like say the beep of a metronome the infant in question will be able perceive any beeps that are not in line with the metronome as irregular, which gives the suggestion that the infant is able to &quot;keep time&quot; in to determine that the irregular beep is &quot;out of time&quot;... (or at least that is how I understood the results of the study) If you want a really good review (which my answer is partially based on) of the evidence I suggest you buy/read this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0028393212003958&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2012&lt;/a&gt; review I have linked in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it is probably not until 2-3 years old when children are first able to... lets say communicate that they have temporal awareness. Whether they understand is dependent on the child. For example, in this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00220270110080962&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; which verbally tested children between the age of 3-9 on their understanding of time through story telling it was discovered that it usually not until 8 or 9 years of age do children consistently apply time related words correctly. Which suggests as the author noted that perhaps up until 8 or 9 children are experimenting and testing their new found linguistic knowledge. Also, you have take in consideration how schools and parenting play a role into this, but that kinda goes out the scope of this question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14962" LastEditorUserId="14962" LastEditDate="2015-05-24T16:46:29.663" LastActivityDate="2015-05-24T16:46:29.663" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20304" CreationDate="2015-05-24T02:43:18.597" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter started wearing glasses at 14 months old, and I remember the struggle all too well.  It did take a couple of weeks for her to reliably wear her glasses,  she's 8 now and rocks her glasses, so fear not, it will happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One question is whether he's nearsighted or farsighted.  At that age, most kids in glasses wear them for excessive farsightedness.  Unfortunately, kids are extremely good at accommodating and adapting to farsightedness.  If that's the case, he's going to need to learn to relax his eyes and let the glasses focus for him, so you can't always rely on the glasses making it easier to see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wrote up a guide to getting your child to wear glasses a year or so ago (&lt;a href=&quot;http://littlefoureyes.com/2013/12/11/frequently-asked-question-how-will-i-ever-get-my-child-to-wear-glasses/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://littlefoureyes.com/2013/12/11/frequently-asked-question-how-will-i-ever-get-my-child-to-wear-glasses/&lt;/a&gt;), the basics are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay positive.  You don't need to make a big deal about the glasses, but you do need to make sure that there's a positive association with them.  For some kids, making a big deal out of the glasses just calls attention to them and stresses out the parents.  You know your kid, so do what works for him.  In any case, though, make sure you have a smile on your face when you put his glasses on him.  Yes, even if it's the 300th time that day that you've put them back on (believe me, I've been there), have a smile.  If he throws a fit, let him leave the glasses off for a couple of minutes until he calms down and then try again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay consistent.  It might well be the 301st time his glasses have come off that day, but put them back on.  Make consistent rules - like glasses are always on except naps and baths and bedtime and stick to it.  We did take her glasses off in the car for the first few months, because she'd get bored and her glasses were the nearest interesting thing to play with.  A lot of other parents I've talked with have the same problem, so that's worth considering.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and speaking of boredom...Distractions! You know your son, you know what distracts him, so use that.  As soon as his glasses go on, find something to distract him with.  Some parents have found that taking your kid outside is more distracting, and works better when you get started.  If there's a show he loves or a toy he plays with really intensely, have it on hand when you put the glasses on.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and if he's really, really resisting, then make sure that his glasses fit correctly and are adjusted correctly, and make sure that the prescription is the right one (mistakes happen).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!  It's super frustrating, I know!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16379" LastActivityDate="2015-05-24T02:43:18.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20324" CreationDate="2015-05-24T04:27:25.010" Score="4" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Put the weight on the heel of your hand and higher.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually learned this from a personal trainer. He had me doing dumbbell curls and when the weight got higher, my wrists hurt all the time. So he asked me to instead of grabbing the weight, 'balance' it on the heel of my hand and hold it there with my fingertips (applies to hand facing up). It took a while to get used to, and the pain went away slowly, but this worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward to carrying kids all the time. While it really helps to be able to carry them longer if I've been keeping up my weight routines (whoever says bicep work is vanity was never a parent), and the same holds true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously you would never 'balance' your child on your palm. But when picking my children up, I have to 'choke up' towards the thumb, have my hands/forearms more perpendicular than parallel to the ground, and supinate my hands a bit to try to present the heel of the hand (and palm) to the child's armpits instead of the crevase of the thumb/forefinger. This requires bending down with my knees (OK now you have to keep your squat regimen up at the gym too) and getting closer to the child, all to relieve my wrists (when they are flaring up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then when carrying the child, by default (if it's a toddler - assuming that as a baby would be less likely to stress your wrist), you want to have the 'far bun' of the child in the palm of your hand. Instead of doing that, put the hell of your hand just past the far bun, with both buns resting on your forearm. (feel like we're working at a hamburger joint here, huh?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then let your hand extend past the child, almost limp, holding it up next to the child's body so you don't catch it on things as you walk around, and hurt it - I've done that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, the child is just sitting higher up on your arm (and maybe wrist) and less on your hand. I've noticed that none of my kids like this as much. Of course they don't like being practically dropped when pain randomly shoots through my wrist, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16380" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-24T11:55:44.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11697" CreationDate="2015-05-24T07:07:56.807" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If all the other girls are wearing the same sorts of things, then I don't think it would be an issue. However I doubt that's the case, if the school contacted you about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I think you need to accept that fashion standards change, and you may need to compromise a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned that you were in a religious community when you were growing up. This presumably meant your peers also had to follow the same strict rules. You wore what you wore to conform to the standards of your community and your peers. Your daughter is presumably doing the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless her behaviour is becoming problematic in other ways, I'd be inclined to relax the dress standards a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2015-05-24T07:07:56.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20310" CreationDate="2015-05-24T09:23:28.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She promised to take him fishing on my week day without first checking with me. After I said that I had plans with him on that day (during my time that the consent order we have in place says), she told me that I had to tell him that I'm cancelling his plans to go fishing. And yes, after researching about PAS, I know that's a classic start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Optimal play here would've been to say you think going fishing is a great idea and suggest that the three of you all go together. Then the ball would then be in the mother's court to cancel the plans to go fishing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This morning, before I went to drop him off, he was back to normal: said &quot;I love you&quot; to me, cuddled with me before leaving, etc. I felt a bit better, but I still feel extremely powerless in dealing with this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, regardless what the mother might be telling him or not, you have to realize it's a pretty new experience for the kid to be with just one parent. Also, the dynamic when there's only one adult with a child can be quite stilted. Do you have a new S.O. in your life? If not, maybe you should start dating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;what can I do to rectify the issue, and make sure he always knows I love him, no matter what anyone else says?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest focusing less on the &quot;I love you&quot;s and more on being a fun dad who's moved on from his ex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14451" LastActivityDate="2015-05-24T09:23:28.720" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20370" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-24T19:04:33.043" Score="3" ViewCount="1514" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2-year-old son and he is bit heavy. For some months, whenever I carry or lift him, I feel severe back pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found many sources that claim that this is normal. My doctor also says that this happens normally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there ways to carry a child to minimize backache? Whenever I lift my son, I bend backwards slightly to counter-balance his weight. Can I improve my posture to lessen the back pain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16280" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-01-10T13:47:21.073" LastActivityDate="2020-01-10T13:47:21.073" Title="How can I reduce back pain from lifting or holding my child for too long?" Tags="|toddler|parents|health|life-skills|pain|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-24T22:00:51.050" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You'll need to get replacement shoes in the cheapest possible way. In the UK, I'd go to the nearest charity shop and try to find the cheapest pair of used shoes that he can wear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anything else will teach the boy that he can do significant financial damage to his parents without any consequence for himself, which is not a good lesson learnt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After some further thought: It seems the boy is working to make money, and has been paying for these shoes, and some people think because he paid for them, he can do with them what he wants. That's wrong. He is a child, and his parents' job is to prepare him for life. They have the power and the duty to do that. So even if his behaviour only hurt himself, they still have to teach him that it was wrong; a stupid destruction of value. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my advice of going to a charity shop and buy used shoes stands. I'd also ask him to figure out what the ecological consequences of his actions are. The single shoes will go into recycling and make a tiny bit of money that way (maybe one dollar per kilo of single shoes if they are lucky), but a lot of energy, raw materials, and possibly lives of animals have been wasted. And he should figure out that donating both $145 shoes to this charity would have been much more effective in helping people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastEditorUserId="11151" LastEditDate="2015-05-30T12:40:22.553" LastActivityDate="2015-05-30T12:40:22.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20319" CreationDate="2015-05-24T22:26:08.120" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try ALEKS.COM I've used it in class for a student that had trouble working cooperatively.&#xA;The program works in conjunction with a super computer to select work sets and refreshers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16396" LastActivityDate="2015-05-24T22:26:08.120" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-05-24T22:26:08.120" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20374" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-25T01:27:27.847" Score="4" ViewCount="567" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that is right to let the children to believe in what they want, for example, when I was young my fathers never make me go to the church (Except for special cases).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point of my life, I would have liked to show me something more, and I ask myself what would be the best way to let children select in what they want to believe without imposing an specific religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&#xA;of course I want to know on little kids less than 8~10 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14817" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-05-28T04:28:37.067" LastActivityDate="2017-09-17T23:25:40.723" Title="How to let children believe without imposing my religion?" Tags="|religion|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20374" CreationDate="2015-05-25T01:54:52.743" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are deep and fundamental questions that most of us ask at some point in our life, such as &quot;Who am I?&quot;, &quot;Where did I come from?&quot;, &quot;What is my purpose?&quot;, etc. Most religions, and even science and philosophy, try to provide an answer to these questions&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is best to let your child search for these answers on their own, by seeing what each of the religions (and non religious thoughts) has to offer. Tell them to be sincere in their search as well as through. And as a person of faith myself, I would add a small prayer to the effect of &quot;O God, if you are out there, please guide me to you&quot;. I think answering these questions about purpose and identity is more important than simply choosing any particular organized religion (or even simply choosing atheism or agnosticism).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastActivityDate="2015-05-25T01:54:52.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20377" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-25T03:19:59.793" Score="-1" ViewCount="1164" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7.5-month-old son has fallen quite a few times off the bed and couch in just the past month. He lands on the carpet, and fell down while asleep only once. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The people I live with are concerned about him having any head trauma. I can say my son is 28 inches in height and is taller than both, the bed and the couch. His reaction most of the times is a disappointed face that he has fallen and the other times he cries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I believe in him being able to explore and discover trial and error, but the folks I stay with want me to hover over him every second of the day and make sure he doesn't bump or whack or hit his head. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My question is him falling from the couch and bed normal?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16399" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-14T12:32:11.050" LastActivityDate="2018-05-14T12:32:11.050" Title="My 7.5-month-old often falls off the couch or bed. Is this dangerous or normal behavior?" Tags="|behavior|infant|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20379" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-25T07:42:31.543" Score="1" ViewCount="405" Body="&lt;p&gt;How does one get a 5 weeks (and older) breast fed baby to burp ?&#xA;At the moment the baby just burps randomly. Holding the baby so the chin is on my shoulder while I rub the baby's back gives randomly very good results but not all the time. What are the ways I could get the baby to burp ? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10089" LastActivityDate="2019-01-01T00:21:02.070" Title="How to get an infant to burp?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20379" CreationDate="2015-05-25T10:22:43.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What always worked for me was sitting them on my lap (I'm right handed so they'd sit on my right leg, facing my left leg), lean them forward slightly, putting my left hand under their chin to support them, and rub/pat the back with the right hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16142" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-25T13:02:27.827" LastActivityDate="2015-05-25T13:02:27.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20381" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20383" CreationDate="2015-05-25T10:37:49.380" Score="5" ViewCount="1607" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is very excited in using technical devices like our printer, our tablet or our wireless phone. I'm thinking of buying him a classic, black an white GameBoy (the grey one with big nobs), so that he can play with his own device and cannot acidentially make phone calls, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think a GameBoy or similar can be too much for him? Is it appropriate for his age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm thinking of one or two games (Tetris, etc), so that pressing a button will do something on the screen. Of course he will not be able to &quot;play&quot; Tetris, but he likes pressing button on the printer so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16317" LastEditorUserId="16317" LastEditDate="2015-05-25T12:05:02.773" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T14:41:20.157" Title="Is a (classic) GameBoy appropriate for my 1 year old son?" Tags="|video-games|games|gadgets|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-25T12:10:19.287" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is an opportunity for you to help your son understand why organisations ask for donation. You could tell him, donations are usually made to help people in need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you could figure out the best way he understands that, it is  essential for donors to think about the people in the receiving end. If he had thought about it he would either have donated the pair because the box said &quot;that they accept one shoe but didn't say they don't accept pair&quot;. He could have helped more people or simply he kept the pair for himself and haven't have lost any pair. By simply donating without thinking he now can't use them for himself and he could have served more people by donating pairs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point I am making is to stress the importance of thinking before donating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastEditorUserId="16247" LastEditDate="2015-05-25T12:44:35.667" LastActivityDate="2015-05-25T12:44:35.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20381" CreationDate="2015-05-25T12:32:33.757" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Appropriate? I'd say it's safe, has no small elements, isn't a choking hazard, is made of plastic and powered by low-voltage batteries, so even tasting it won't hurt. But should you buy one for your toddler? I'd say &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consult these two articles from babycenter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_tv-watching-guidelines-for-toddlers_11746.bc&quot;&gt;tv watching guidlines for toddlers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.in/a1019615/how-video-games-affect-toddlers-and-how-to-deal-with-it&quot;&gt;video games and toddlers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I understand what you want to do seems harmless (and actually I have myself considered introducing my toddler to some kind of games), I think that it is still too early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, &lt;strong&gt;I think a child should spend as much quality time experiencing the real world as possible&lt;/strong&gt;. I would argue that games or tv are actually factors that interfere and disturb with that process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, I suspect that between 1 to 3 years a lot of character and personality is built. I don't want my child to be a couch potato/computer games addict. Yes, these are extremes, used to make a point, and at this age nothing's decided - but let's push our kids towards the &quot;good&quot; activities. They'll have enough computer games when they grow up some more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If by any chance you are getting bored and have no new ideas what to do with your kid just take out your toolset (supervise!) and see what happens :) Or an old bicicle inner tube. Just take look around your closets and shelves and find something your LO hasn't discovered yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-05-25T12:32:33.757" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20377" CreationDate="2015-05-25T13:44:24.213" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Trial and error&quot; isn't necessarily the same for an infant as for an older child -- they are completely unaware of the consequences of their actions and so the parents need to be there to protect them from more dangerous errors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Head trauma from falls can be one of those. It isn't necessary to worry about &lt;em&gt;every single bump&lt;/em&gt;, but head bumps do need to be taken seriously. (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/7519/4054&quot;&gt;See this answer to a similar question for a good overview of symptoms to watch out for&lt;/a&gt; so you can know what falls to really worry about.) Taking precautions to &lt;em&gt;minimize&lt;/em&gt; falls is a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby who is learning to crawl should not be on an elevated surface (couch, bed, stairs) while awake; instead, provide a open area on the floor for him to move around in. When he's able to roll over in his sleep, he shouldn't be sleeping on that elevated surface either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-05-25T13:44:24.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20381" CreationDate="2015-05-25T19:47:00.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Answer&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Game Boy or similar is likely too much for a child of that age to handle on its own and therefore not an appriate toy for a toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Reasoning&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider firing up a game of Tetris: (If I recall correctly) You have to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;wait for the Nintendo Logo to move across the screen  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;press any key&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;select 1/2 players&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;select mode a/b  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;select a level&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All games require a similar sequence to get going. At age 1 this seuence is too much for a child to handle, I think. This will cause nothing but frustration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side note: modern devices, especially smart phones, do not have this problem. Every touch will almost instantly result in a reproducible result and action sequences are short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To keep this answer short: I am &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; aware of any electronic device that is actually &quot;safe&quot; (i.e. makes all of you happy) to give to such a young child. You will have to play together with him for at least another year. And from your question I gather you don't need to buy anything to keep doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For every approach worth discussing there is one issue I'd like to point out:&#xA;Our eyes grow to be most efficient at what we do most. If your child spends a lot of time focusing on close displays, he/she has a (dramatically) increased chance of becoming short sighted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4104" LastActivityDate="2015-05-25T19:47:00.317" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20390" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20396" CreationDate="2015-05-26T04:30:26.037" Score="7" ViewCount="1539" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son refuses to lay down in the crib and drink from his bottle before going to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gets back up, and I put him back down; but he never gives up.  How do we get him to sleep in the crib and stay there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way he'll go to sleep is if his grandmother sits with him in the dark with the bottle on our bed, and then if he wakes up in the crib (which is in the same room by the way) he won't go back to sleep unless we let him sleep in the bed with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been told there are 3 ways to do this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do nothing and let him sleep in our bed (I don't find this to be a solution)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gradually put the kid to sleep on a schedule keeping a detailed log.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leave him in the crib crying until he falls asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1880" LastActivityDate="2015-05-26T19:36:13.657" Title="How do you get your kid to lay in the crib?" Tags="|bedtime|sleep-training|cosleeping|crib|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20390" CreationDate="2015-05-26T05:45:38.110" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have to decide how do you want your baby to go to sleep, considering your needs, your resting, your conscience and practical issues, and then you have to start doing it and stick to it. This interim period is going to be hard and you will consider returning to previous methods. Don't. Just stick to it. After a few days (though the period strongly depends on age, the older he is the longer it takes) he will adjust and go to sleep your way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are various approaches to how to handle the crying. There are number of cry-it-out methods. Consult &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;babycenter baby sleep training&lt;/a&gt; for details&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-26T11:23:26.323" LastActivityDate="2015-05-26T11:23:26.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4636" CreationDate="2015-05-26T15:03:55.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the record, both our midwife and paediatric told us to put the baby on the breast, facing us after each meal. We should gently pat her on the back a couple of times. We should not wait for her to burp but pat her a only couple of times. Our daughter usually burped very quickly, but the advice was specifically not to try too hard to get a burp; if she needed, she would burp. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16063" LastActivityDate="2015-05-26T15:03:55.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20390" CreationDate="2015-05-26T19:36:13.657" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a few tips that worked for us to get our son to go to sleep in his crib without crying, although we haven't mastered the staying there all night part quite yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are not keen on the leaving to cry (Weisbluth - healthy sleep habits, happy child) or controlled crying (Ferber - solve your child's sleep problems) approach so I won't cover that here but I think it's very easy to find guidance in books such as those in brackets above or online for that if you want to try it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped for us is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure the child is tired enough to go to sleep. This means have him on an appropriate schedule for his age. At 15 months he's probably about ready for one nap a day if he's not doing that already. If he's had a nap too close to bedtime then he won't fall asleep easily and will get upset when you try to make him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start a bedtime routine so he knows what to expect. Dinner, bath and milk is a good start but encourage him to stay awake while he has his milk.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;After his milk, do a quiet, enjoyable activity with him in the crib until he gets sleepy. We read a few books and let him hang out with his soft toys. Sometimes we &quot;help the soft toys go to sleep&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Once he seems sleepy ask him to lay down and go to sleep. You can help him by patting or rubbing his back.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Apparently, it is possible to reduce your input gradually, although we haven't got very far with this yet. The theory is, you may start by patting your son to help him sleep, then just having your hand on him, then sitting/standing next to the crib but not touching him and eventually you can leave the room. We sometimes get to the second stage or the third on a good day.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try this, I can't promise it will work but we didn't believe it would work for us until we tried it. He may protest to start with but I wouldn't recommend to let him cry a lot (unless you want to use one of the crying methods) or he may start to like his crib even less. But now my son got to know the routine he happily goes into his crib and often lays down by himself after reading his books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other thing that helped for us - we got my husband doing the last step of reading the books and putting to bed. My son is quite clingy with me so he would want to be close to me which made it difficult to get him to stay in the crib. After he got used to it though, it's OK for me to put him to bed in the crib. You could also try giving him a favourite soft toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it really doesn't work now, you may find it works better in a month or two. We tried getting our son to sleep in his crib when he was 8 months and it didn't work at all. At 15 months you have the advantage of being able to communicate more and I find my son now loves to know what's happening next, much more than he did when he was smaller (he's now 16 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-05-26T19:36:13.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20397" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-26T22:59:57.057" Score="2" ViewCount="88" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to give my child (just about to turn 6) some structure coaching in reading over the summer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to do this myself to see how she's progressing. Are there any sites or books that will provide both a variety of exercises and a structured micro-course on reading that could be done for 30 to 60 minutes a day over the summer? (about 8 weeks)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1337" LastEditorUserId="1337" LastEditDate="2015-05-27T23:08:07.130" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T12:40:01.700" Title="Structured reading coaching" Tags="|pre-schooler|reading|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2015-05-27T02:56:49.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 and her hair grows &quot;forward&quot; as you described. My hair does not, but my husband's side of family has that trait. Her hair is always in her eyes, so we have to cut bangs. She sees an inexpensive stylist and I explain the issue. Yes, the bangs are fairly straight across and look &quot;baby-ish&quot;, and even STILL, hair from the back of her head will fall forward into her eyes! Her daycare constantly loses any clips I put in. I suggest cutting bangs and baby gel/hairspray. Hopefully we won't have to deal with this for long! Eventually they will be grown up enough to keep their clips in their hair or ask for help putting them back in. An issue of age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16439" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T02:56:49.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20399" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20408" CreationDate="2015-05-27T08:34:56.317" Score="1" ViewCount="1885" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Do the children start believing in fairies and magic after being read from a book about how fairies solve/get everything magically?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child is 2 years old, so at this age it doesn't really matter and even now since I don't want to lie that the girl turned into a pumpkin and frog turned into a man, I just haven't bought any such kind of fairy tale books for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fairy tale books such as above are available here in abundance.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Even when the child is of 4 or 5 years old, I do &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;NOT&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; want the child to think that such fairies and magic actually exists and works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an interesting link: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theweek.co.uk/religion/59598/children-exposed-to-religion-more-likely-to-believe-in-fairy-tales&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.theweek.co.uk/religion/59598/children-exposed-to-religion-more-likely-to-believe-in-fairy-tales&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if the child say: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;But the book says it is true&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; - How should I respond to that if that happens?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-05-28T04:42:22.793" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T19:49:18.563" Title="Do children start believing in fairies and magic after being read from a book? If yes, then how to respond to &quot;but the book says it is true&quot;?" Tags="|age-appropriate|books|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20400" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20404" CreationDate="2015-05-27T09:04:47.973" Score="9" ViewCount="1675" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hindi is the native language and English is a foreign language where I live. The toddler (2 years old) gets sent to the daycare. They speak Hindi there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I speak English at home with the child and the other person too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found that child is more comfortable with Hindi words rather than the English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child easily says:&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &quot;Paani&quot; rather then water.&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &quot;De Do&quot; rather than give.&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &quot;Aao&quot; rather than come.&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &quot;Dekho&quot; rather than look.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do force the child to say these English words and she does comply.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I can feel that it is not easy for her. When I ask her to say give, she says pig. I ask her to say look, she says took.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can say thank you, please, mole, eyes, nose, hands, snake &lt;em&gt;(with not so correct pronunciation though.)&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She speaks tortoise, monkey, and money correctly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is NOT hard of hearing. She does understand what I say. She does understand the long English sentences I speak to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Should I actually force her to speak these/the English words at this age (by repeatedly asking her to speak)?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Should I continue talking in English and pretend to be deaf and let her learn at her own pace when she grows up?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is there a third option?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2019-04-08T04:53:56.800" LastActivityDate="2022-03-02T00:20:51.757" Title="Should I force the toddler to speak the words and sentences which she is finding difficult to speak?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20399" CreationDate="2015-05-27T11:18:16.263" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's really important that your child learns there is such a thing as fiction. Just because something is in a book (or on TV) doesn't mean it is true. Starting with things that are clearly and obviously not true (flying people, talking animals, etc) makes this an easy point to make. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the future, when your child sees an ad for something (online, on TV, before the movie, whatever) you will want that critical thinking to be in force. You will want the position to be, while consuming media, that it might not actually be true. This is one of the vital things you can teach someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child is a teen and that decade's equivalent of 50 Shades of Grey arrives, don't you want to be sure that &quot;not all books accurately describe reality&quot; is firmly in place in your child's mind?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T11:18:16.263" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20399" CreationDate="2015-05-27T12:04:30.297" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question seems to about whether children can tell the difference between truth and fiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children can tell the difference between truth and fiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children reading any story will maybe day dream about being the main character or a friend of the main character, but they will not make the mistake of thinking that the main character actually exists or that the events are true or that themes of the setting (eg magic) are real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This knowledge of real and made up is gained early - children as young as four can talk about stories and about pretend or real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not a problem.  You appear to be needlessly worrying about something that doesn't happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-28T13:32:55.647" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T13:32:55.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20399" CreationDate="2015-05-27T13:14:16.113" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just make sure you tell them it's not true, it's just a story. If you want, make it a game and let the kid try figure out what is possible and what isn't. Instead of shielding them from fiction, you have the perfect opportunity to teach them to make the difference between real and not real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk about the story the next day. Ask him what is his favorite part, ask him if he think magic exists or not. If he really likes the story, he will want to talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fiction is very good at increasing imagination. Some argue that a child with a lot of imagination is better at coping with the hardship of being a little kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T13:14:16.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20400" CreationDate="2015-05-27T13:26:11.450" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just talk with your kid. Have a lot of conversations. Kids have an amazing ability to digest language and separate words into the correct language. They also have the ability to be stubborn, willful and belligerent. If she doesn't want to speak it, you may not be able to change that yet. My daughter is fluent in a second language (her mother's) but it has always been difficult to get her to talk it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have the win the battle now, she'll be learning for the next 20 years. The most important thing is that your child is learning the words. She'll use them when she wants to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T13:26:11.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2015-05-27T14:39:15.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand the situation, and here some things that have helped us with our four kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your son needs a stern talk from Dad to correct his behavior related to girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Buy him some cheap shoes from the local thrift store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Implement the &lt;code&gt;allowance/budget&lt;/code&gt; strategy:  he earns weekly income based on chores, finishing school-work, and attitude.  Establish a reasonable budget (i.e., saving, giving, cash, clothing) where he must purchase his own shoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our household, my wife and I have found that step #3 is a well-founded approach to correct our children's behavior over time...and it has instilled in them respect for us and an understanding of how money works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some helpful references for step 3:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.mytotalmoneymakeover.com/modules/fusetalk3/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=9&amp;amp;threadid=99284&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dave Ramsey (allowance/clothing budget)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEqnNPn-hT4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Economides' MoneySmart Family System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cheers!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16079" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T14:11:48.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7467" CreationDate="2015-05-27T14:48:50.980" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a child who is potty trained, or at least is physically ready for potty training (often happens around two, but it varies significantly), this is approachable in a very simple way: ask him to use the toilet prior to the bath.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point, often around potty training, this will become voluntary for many chlidren - like our three year old - who is very nearly frightened of urinating in the bath now.  He goes every time and will even leave the bath if he thinks he has to pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But for those children who are not cleanliness-obsessed, it can simply be made a requirement pre-bath: urinate and you get your bath toys, urinate and we'll put bubbles in the bath, whatever works.  Of course, you can also just not worry about it - the urine is not particularly harmful and will not be in sufficient concentration to smell badly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Physical readiness for potty training is primarily awareness of the need to pee, awareness of how to do so on command, and ability to hold it in.  Once these three elements are present, a child can be fairly easily potty trained, assuming he or she is willing.  (Pee and poop are basically separate in this regards, both have the same basic elements though.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's goofing around peeing on purpose in the bath, that may well be an excellent way to &lt;em&gt;start&lt;/em&gt; potty training - because it means that he at least is aware of how to do so.  I would use it as a transitional device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, the next time he pees in the bath, congratulate him.  &quot;Wow, nice job, you know how to pee!  You're almost ready for potty training!&quot;  Then, after a few days of this, instead of going to the bath, go to the potty, and let him know that he can do that on the potty, too!  Make a game out of it.  Rewards are great for this - M&amp;amp;Ms, for example; stickers; coloring sheets; or in our case, we managed to get in an online garage sale a bag of old Matchbox-type cars - something like 100 for $5.  Enough that we used them for potty training our first child, and now have plenty left for our second!  I would give him that reward once for going in the bath, and then tell him that if he does it on the potty he can have more rewards.  (Yes, I sound like a drug dealer... sigh.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may resist doing it on the toilet at first, in which case don't push too hard - but remind him of the reward if he does.  When he pees in the bath each time, remind him he can pee on the potty for a reward.  Eventually this can become a very effective way to get him into the habit of peeing on the potty.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T14:48:50.980" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8978" CreationDate="2015-05-27T15:30:47.923" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter does the exact same thing and has done so for almost 2 years.  (She is almost 3 now.)  The other night she was doing this every half hour or so.  Sometimes waking, sometimes not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I put 4 drops of lavender essential oil and 3 drops of an essential oil blend (blend of ylang ylang, patchouli, tangerine, and orange) in a diffuser and one drop on the bottoms of each of her feet and she didn't wake up or cry out one more time that night.  She woke up in an awesome mood, too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friend's daughter was also experiencing this for years.  Now they diffuse it in her room every night and she hasn't had an issue since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16449" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-27T16:47:31.453" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T16:47:31.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20399" CreationDate="2015-05-27T16:38:58.670" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many, many fictional tales that your child will encounter while growing up. Some are in books, some are in other media (TV, movies), some are cultural (e.g. the Tooth Fairy), some will be games that children and their friends make up. Even observing the world on her own can lead to the impression that there's something magical going on (sunrise! rain! wind! flowers!)... This is the origin of myths and fairy tales, after all: people trying to explain how the world worked, and doing the best they could with the available evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The risk of having a child believe wholeheartedly in magic shouldn't be dealt with by trying to avoid it. For one thing, that's practically impossible: there are so many books and myths and mysterious things in the world. But more importantly, &lt;strong&gt;imagination is important for child development&lt;/strong&gt; (see many links at end of Answer). Reading stories is a way to encourage imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can bring that concept back when you're discussing a fairy tale you've just read. &lt;em&gt;That was a wonderful story! The author has good imagination. Fairies sprinkling water on flowers is a fun way to explain dewdrops! If fairies were real, what other things would they do?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you later say, &quot;Magic isn't real,&quot; and your child says, &quot;But my book said it is!&quot; — you've already got a groundwork explanation of what imagination and pretend are all about, and you can bring that information back together. The wording and content can of course be tailored depending on how old a child is (once in school, I'd bring in concepts like fiction vs. non-fiction books).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;That book was a pretend story. It's like when we play together like we're cooking, using toy food and toy dishes: we aren't actually eating, we just pretend we're eating. It would be so much fun if magic was real and we could magically get the house to clean itself and magically fly around like fairies &lt;em&gt;[or whatever]&lt;/em&gt;, but it's just a story. Should we use our imagination and come up with other stories about magic like that wonderful book did?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scholastic.com/parents/resources/article/creativity-play/importance-pretend-play&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Importance of Pretend Play&lt;/a&gt; (Scholastic) explores what aspects of child development are influenced&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://parents.lego.com/en-us/childdevelopment/imagination&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Creating Worlds: The Importance of Imagination&lt;/a&gt; (on Lego's website, &quot;from a series of articles by author and educator Elizabeth Slade&quot;) describes imitative imagination and creative imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childtime.com/parent-resource-center/parenting-articles/the-importance-of-imagination/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Importance of Imagination&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In the world of child development you may hear us use phrases like “critical thinking skills” and “creative problem-solving abilities” when referring to our goals for your child’s cognitive development. What we are really talking about is… imagination. The way to create human beings with imagination is to provide them with opportunities to develop it for themselves when they are very young&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/201203/the-need-pretend-play-in-child-development&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;The Need for Pretend Play in Child Development&quot;&lt;/a&gt; (blog post on Psychology Today), includes its own list of references. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;An important  benefit of early pretend play may be its enhancement of&#xA;  the child’s capacity for cognitive flexibility and, ultimately,&#xA;  creativity ... early imaginative play was associated with increased&#xA;  creative performance years later (Russ, 2004; Russ &amp;amp; Fiorelli,  2010).&#xA;  Root-Bernstein’s research with clearly creative individuals such as&#xA;  Nobel Prize winners and MacArthur Foundation “genius” grant  awardees,&#xA;  indicated  that early childhood  games about make-believe worlds were&#xA;  more frequent in such individuals than in control participants in&#xA;  their fields (Root-Bernstein, 2012).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-28T11:15:53.437" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T11:15:53.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20400" CreationDate="2015-05-27T19:16:50.910" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest a 3rd option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids are bilingual in English (used in preschool) and Danish (used at home).&#xA;They are currently 2 &amp;amp; 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We speak almost only Danish to them, though we do read some some books in English. Both of them, when starting to speak, started in mostly Danish, then switched to some words in English, some in Danish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We never pretended to not understand, or forced them to speak Danish at home. What we did do, is to point out what it is called in Danish, and continue on. When a little older (2.5-3 years) we would sometimes ask: Do you know what that is called in Danish? He would either tell us or say no, then we just told him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At around 3.5 years, our oldest became very aware of there being 2 languages. He will sometimes ask, when he learns something new, what it is called in Danish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think encouraging the kids to communicate (no matter the language), and appeal to their natural curiosity is the best way to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2022-03-02T00:20:51.757" LastActivityDate="2022-03-02T00:20:51.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20374" CreationDate="2015-05-27T19:29:51.390" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is likely that at some point, children will naturally become interested in questions like &quot;where did we come from&quot;, &quot;why are we here&quot; or even &quot;why do people think there's a magical man in the sky&quot; (It depends on who they hang out with.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably the best way to let them pick without imposing, is by telling them &quot;lots of people believe lots of different things&quot; and then helping them find information on the various religions and philosophies. In addition to getting some books for them, it might really help to venture out and talk to some of these people, at least the ones in the area. Some will be easier to find than others, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Travel with them and try to make sure the people talking keep it objective. It might help to not aim for the leaders but instead the regulars. Something as simple as visiting a local church service and trying to ask some of the visitors a few questions on why they believe might give valuable insights into the reasons people come to religion (instead of just talking about why you should join).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, it might be valuable (and educational and fun) to grab some books on ancient mythology and look into how people used to answer these questions and what old and now mostly dead religions exist. If you can, you could even look for modern practioners of ancient religions (modern pagans and wiccans for example) to get a completely different look into how people deal with religion/spirituality in this century. However, these people can be hard to find in many regions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T19:29:51.390" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20370" CreationDate="2015-05-27T20:42:06.963" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;you may want to try carrying your child in a sling or baby carrier (there are many to chose from at all different price points) instead of holding them. We used this brand successfully &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.mayawrap.com/&quot;&gt;https://www.mayawrap.com/&lt;/a&gt; .  Also when picking up a child or anything heavy/awkward make sure you squat instead of bend over at the waist.  Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16455" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T20:42:06.963" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20399" CreationDate="2015-05-27T21:20:12.580" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Taking a different approach to your question: Your premise is based on the assumption that a child will believe everything written in a book is true. (Also that children live in a dream world only if they are lied to.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where did you get this first idea? Did you believe this at one time? Do you know anyone who believed it at one time? The answer is probably no. That concept doesn't come for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All children fantasize regardless of whether you read them fairy tales or not. Do you think a small child playing with a truck isn't imagining anything about the truck? That a gingerbread cookie in the shape of a man is only a cookie with a funny shape? That a mud pie is a pie of wet dirt? Or if a child laughs if you pretend a bananna is a cell phone, that they don't understand why that's funny?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children only that believe what's written is true long after they know about truth and lies, and in the context that a book is presented consistently as truth by significant persons, e.g. when parents teach that the Bible is true, or a textbook of history, or science, or math is true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;But the book says it is true&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone would have to introduce her to this idea (at this age, that would be you), and why would you do that with a book of fairy tales?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The truth is young children lie, even though no parent I know of teaches their child to lie, and they know the difference. In some experiments, 30% of 2 year olds will lie to cover a transgression. How can that be, if no one ever introduced the concept of duplicity? Children lie as a matter of norm, to protect themselves or someone they love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been studies of children and the ability to discern and tell the truth from many standpoints and for many reasons, probably the most critical being the ability of a child to give testimony regarding a crime they have witnessed. Children as young as 3 years of age can identify a lie, and can testify in a court of law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Three experiments (Ns = 123, 103, 177) were conducted to address the assumptions underlying the court competence examination that (1) children who understand lying and its moral implications are less likely to lie and (2) discussing the conceptual issues concerning lying and having children promising to tell the truth promotes truth-telling. Both measures of lying and understanding of truth- and lie-telling were obtained from children between &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;3 and 7 years of age&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Most children demonstrated appropriate conceptual knowledge of lying and truth-telling and the obligation to tell the truth, but many of the same children lied to conceal their own transgression. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The benefits of fairy tales have been discussed by others. Your concept of children believing everything they are told is faulty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Children's Early Understanding of Mind: Origins and Development, C Lewis and P Mitchell&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12182530&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Children's conceptual knowledge of lying and its relation to their actual behaviors: implications for court competence examinations&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21887961&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;From little white lies to filthy liars: the evolution of honesty and deception in young children.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3653594/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Little Liars: Development of Verbal Deception in Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-05-27T22:37:46.310" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T22:37:46.310" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20399" CreationDate="2015-05-27T22:02:32.257" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might think about writing a story with your child.  Make it something fun and whimsical, involving household pets or people that you know.  My daughter loves writing stories about our pets driving taxis; our German Shepherd owns the taxi service and she only has cats to drive the taxis, which causes a lot of problems.  My husband is the dispatcher, and his parents' Pomeranians Rocky and Little Bear are the taxi mechanics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this has given quite a boost to her imagination, and at the same time she is quite aware that cats can't actually drive taxis.  If you were to do something like that with your son, his assertion that &quot;if it is in a book it must be true&quot; can lead into a discussion like &quot;well, in &lt;em&gt;our&lt;/em&gt; book our dog Buster built a rocket ship and took us to the moon.  Did that really happen?  Yes it did, but only in our imagination.  Some things in books only happen in your imagination, but it is fun to write down what happens in your imagination so you can share it with other people, like we shared our book with Grandma...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter treasures the pages that we wrote together so much that she sleeps with them under her pillow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-05-27T22:02:32.257" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20374" CreationDate="2015-05-28T02:19:30.630" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a structured approach, the Unitarian Church has a good childhood education program that covers the beliefs of many different religions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find this online at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.uua.org/re/children/curricula&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;tapestry of faith&quot;&gt;their web site&lt;/a&gt;. That's probably a good place to start in terms of how to introduce children to the variety of human beliefs without emphasizing any particular one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="94" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T02:19:30.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20415" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20570" CreationDate="2015-05-28T04:58:13.870" Score="9" ViewCount="854" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Jack and his mother then live happily ever after &lt;em&gt;with their riches that Jack stole from the giant&lt;/em&gt;. - &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_and_the_Beanstalk&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Jack and the Beanstalk&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Putting the jewels into their clothing, the children set off for home.&lt;/em&gt; A swan ferries them across an expanse of water and at home they find only their father; his wife died from unknown causes. Their father had spent all his days lamenting the loss of his children and is delighted to see them safe and sound. &lt;em&gt;With the witch's wealth that they found, they all live happily ever after.&lt;/em&gt; - &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hansel_and_Gretel&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Hansel and Gretel&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were poor enough not to be able to feed my children, I would have definitely broken into someone's house by now. I don't see anything wrong in stealing if you don't have a job for some reason, and just can't earn money right now and your child is about to die because of hunger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I wish to know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At what age were you introduced to these kind of books? What was the book's impact on you at that time? How did your parents deal with these books?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How do you deal with these books w.r.t your children? Do you explain them when it is okay to steal or lie and when it is not? What's your children's response?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At what age such books should be introduced to the child?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T05:00:16.687" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T17:41:16.560" Title="How to deal with the story books which indicate stealing to be okay/good?" Tags="|education|books|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20415" CreationDate="2015-05-28T06:28:40.690" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't have to avoid them. I read (and listened to) many of these fairy stories when I was young and the child's mind does not take in the same details than an adult one might.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I'm now in my late 20s and this is the first time I've realised that these books treat stealing like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time children really have the attention span to listen to these stories, they should already understand that it's just a story and that stealing is wrong. Things that are wrong can be exciting and they make for good story-telling. They'll have to learn eventually because most stories focus on things that aren't normally acceptable; that's &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they are interesting to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Might as well start with fairy-tales, which are clearly fictional (and kids will be told this before you start) instead of skipping the fairy tales and letting them start with something that looks realistic, which might actually make them think the behaviour is acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T06:28:40.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12675" CreationDate="2015-05-28T07:45:44.050" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we took a birth preparation course, the midwife (being close to retirement) given the course told us that she loved the french system as most babys born (here in Germany) where expected too early, as they often are still covered with vernix. The French system expects them a little later. In fact, she told us, that especially for the first child, some extra days were sometimes added.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the labor is usually induced if the due date has been passed by a certain amount of days, she told us that in her experience, the French system was more accurate as she had the impression the babys in Germany, today, are &quot;fetched&quot; a little too early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, she didn't know what the reason of the difference is, I guess it comes down to experience and history. I'm unsure what the medical/general cosensus is here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16063" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T07:45:44.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20397" CreationDate="2015-05-28T12:40:01.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;if you haven't tried so, check www.readingeggs.com, the site also offers 2 weeks free trial. I use it for my 6 year old daughter and she loves it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T12:40:01.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20415" CreationDate="2015-05-28T13:06:43.480" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Traditional stories, such as those from the Brothers Grimm, contain a bunch of weird stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was probably introduced at a very young age to these stories.  I know that I had a &quot;Mother's Goose&quot; book of nursery rhymes.  Traditional nursery rhymes can be horrific!  Babies falling down wells or people having their heads chopped off.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention the fascinating Panchatantra.  There are different forms of these stories.  Some of them are aimed at very young children, and they use simplified forms of the stories and plenty of pictures.  Others are aimed at older children and use less pictures and more words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Western&quot; traditional fairy stories are similar.  You can find simple versions in picture books for very young children, and you can find them in films (for example, Disney films often use them) and you can find longer stories for older children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to read these stories before you read them to your children.  That way when the heroes of the story steal all the jewels you can have a discussion with your children about what they think is or is not acceptable behaviour.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with you that often these stories have some themes that pose difficulties for parents.  I, for example, think a lot of the stories have problems with sexist stereo-typing.  So, when I read them with my child I will say things like &quot;I wonder if there's another story where the princess rescues the prince?&quot;, and then we'll make up our own story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Heavily edited this answer)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T09:58:29.037" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T09:58:29.037" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20399" CreationDate="2015-05-28T14:04:30.943" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Young children live in a magical world, in which the boundaries between reality and fiction are always very vague. Everything they do themselves is a game in a made up world, and at first they don't even see the point in distinguishing between real and not real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They can't tell the difference between video with live actors and cartoons. When they play that their doll is their baby that day, then it &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt;. A guy can come in, show the kids Santa Claus' clothes, explain that he's going to put them on, go behind a screen, and then Santa Claus is suddenly there!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was three or four or so, we thought she finally understood that some life size &quot;puppets&quot; were people in suits (think Donald Duck in Disneyland). So when she got home, she tried to find out where her teddy bear opened, because she wanted to see the real little bear that was inside...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a long, hard learning process. &quot;Daddy, dragons aren't real, are they?&quot; &quot;No, sorry.&quot; &quot;And dinosaurs?&quot; &quot;Well, they existed a &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; long time ago, but not anymore...&quot; &quot;So frogs aren't real either?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading them stories, magical or not, won't change that significantly. They learn, eventually. Enjoy the stories for what they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6797" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T14:04:30.943" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20415" CreationDate="2015-05-28T18:07:06.667" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk about it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even at two or three, these kind of moral discussions can be very educational (and entertaining).  My three year old very much understands the idea that stealing is wrong; he'd probably point out that it was wrong in the first story.  (I think in Hansel and Gretel, it's less wrong, since the witch was trying to eat them... but who knows.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk about why their greed caused the problems in the first place (in both stories above).  Talk about whether it's okay to take things from someone, even a bad person.  This is relevant in their current life - is it okay to take a toy from another child, even a mean child? - and as they grow up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having these conversations - even a simple &quot;Do you think that's okay?&quot; - also helps to reinforce the idea of thinking about what you read, so you raise your child to think critically about what she reads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-05-28T18:07:06.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20415" CreationDate="2015-05-29T05:56:20.683" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At what age were you introduced to these kind of books? What was the book's impact on you at that time? How did your parents deal with these books?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a valid point in your question that very, very few of us - if any - can answer, and that is what the world is like to a two or three year old, because life-long long-term memory doesn't kick in until later (although occasionally a few vivid memories from toddlerhood can be recollected.) The best we can do is to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/20113/should-i-tell-my-10-year-old-son-how-screwed-up-cinderella-is/20138#20138&quot;&gt;read the work of people who work with such children&lt;/a&gt; and decide for ourselves if we trust them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like you, my parent didn't read me such books. They told me stories that they were told, though. I remember I was very young when my mother recounted stories about a magic dog, Passe-Partout (I spoke only French as a young child), who could go through anything, which would help his master get out of all kinds of fixes. But I never, ever confused that with reality. I knew it was only a story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do you deal with these books w.r.t your children? Do you explain them when it is okay to steal or lie and when it is not? What's your children's response?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't recall mixing morality with fairy tales too much. Morality was an ongoing, daily lesson through example and discussion. I didn't steal from or lie to my children (not even a Santa myth.) I had a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of discussions about television shows, video games, movies, and advertisements. But I can't remember turning fairy tales into morality plays. Aesop's fables were very good for that, and we read those, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At what age such books should be introduced to the child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started reading nursery rhymes to my first child at about 4 or 5 months of age. Consequently, his first word was &quot;Moo&quot;. I'm very sure fairy tales were before the age of two. Sesame street - full of fantasy - was well before that. The others, probably the same, but I remember less well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I have a videotape of my first child and me watching Sesame Street, and a funny segment came on, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVyR1_EbfLQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;I Love Being a Pig&quot;&lt;/a&gt;. I would sing that after: &quot;I love how mud feels,&#xA;I love how mud sounds, I love mud on the ground... I love, love, love being a pig!&quot; I don't think he ever actually thought I was once a pig, or imagined that I could change into one when he wasn't around.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T05:56:20.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20426" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-29T09:02:26.033" Score="5" ViewCount="2148" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am homeschooling my 8 year old son, who has a lot for trouble completing his school work in good time. I have tried giving him a nice stretch of time per subject but this doesn't seem to work. How can I get him to understand that there isn't time for everything and we just can sit around all day working on one page of sums and yet there are 5 more subjects to be tackled as well life outside academics?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16486" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T11:16:24.290" LastActivityDate="2015-05-30T22:54:48.097" Title="How can I get my son to keep time during school time?" Tags="|discipline|homeschooling|time-management|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2015-06-01T16:35:43.133" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20426" CreationDate="2015-05-29T10:09:16.273" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remember to ground all of this in core principles of &quot;reward good behaviour&quot; and &quot;see from the child's point of view&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are not good at understanding time and your child doesn't know the workload.  You do understand time, and you know what the workload is, and so there is a tension created.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things you can try:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Have a large, clear, clock, with easy to read numbers.  Keep making reference to the clock.  Say &quot;It is eleven o'clock now, and it is time for our lesson on arithmetic.  We have half an hour! Let's start!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Introduce an element of competition.  Try using an egg timer. &quot;Wow you've worked really hard at this lesson. Here are some problems.  Do you think you can beat the timer? Do you think you can solve this problem before the timer runs out?&quot; The competitions should start as very easy to win - 3 minutes for each problem.  You increase the difficulty as your child increases skill.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Keep referring to time.  &quot;We have twenty more minutes for this topic!  How many problems have you got?  How much time do you have left for each topic?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Make sure that the child is not bored by questions that are too easy or frustrated by lack of understanding of complex questions.  Always check your child's understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this is useful! (Let me know in a comment if I have misunderstood your question!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T10:09:16.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20426" CreationDate="2015-05-29T11:17:25.557" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the advantages of home schooling is that you don't have to keep to a schedule the way you do in a school situation. You can do the work in an order and pattern that fits with how your child works. If you think your child has grasped adding, they don't need to sit and do worksheets or problems that cover material they already know. If you think your child hasn't grasped adding, you can work adding practice into all your other topics. Doing geography and looking at some property of the cities in a country? Add them up to see how many whatevers are in the whole country. At the store buying things? Ask the child to keep your running total as you put things in the cart, with a paper and pencil if need be. Heading to the park for an hour of fun? Ask him those same worksheet questions (or ones you make up yourself) out loud on the way there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're just going to recreate a classroom with schedules, worksheets, one subject at a time, and the like, you are missing many of the advantages of being the one who teaches your child. Do it a way that works for you and your family, not the way everyone else does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T11:17:25.557" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20429" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-05-29T11:21:24.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Managing time well is a skill that many children struggle with, and this can be a source of frustration both for parents and children. This tag generally covers questions that relate to development of time management skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T11:21:24.347" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T11:21:24.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20430" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-05-29T11:21:24.347" Score="0" Body="The process of planning and controlling how much time should be dedicated to a particular activity." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T11:21:24.347" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T11:21:24.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20426" CreationDate="2015-05-29T13:03:11.660" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried posting a schedule and a clock predominantly in the room?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In schools teachers set schedule of the activities students will be doing throughout the day. In younger grades it's written on the board up front, and in older grades each student has their own schedule and they change classrooms for their classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schools (in the US anyway) have large clocks in each room and around the hallways and then alarm for the various periods, forcing students to keep their schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To mimic this I would put a clock on the wall in the room that he works in and then just print a schedule of what you want to do that day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(You could set of a periodic alert / alarm to signal time but that's probably more than you're looking for. However procrastination becomes a HUGE issue you could always try it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then when the time for some activity ends, stop the activity. In a school if you are in Math taking a test and the bell rings, the test is over. What you didn't answer is wrong. If this seems tough, remember if they were working for a company and had a deadline, if he doesn't finish on time then the project fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Not that you have to fail your homeschool student :) Just that you could make him stop doing something when the time is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T13:11:12.940" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T13:11:12.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20432" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20433" CreationDate="2015-05-29T13:54:03.880" Score="6" ViewCount="6598" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 8 month old baby girl has been exclusively breastfed until she started solids 2 months ago. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she is happily eating pureés etc, to which we sometimes add water or juice, but she refuses all other liquids other than by nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just wondering if anyone out there has had a similar experience in the past?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things we have tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Expressed breastmilk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;4 varieties of formula&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Water&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Juice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bottles of different sizes/shapes &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;4 different shapes of nipple, with 3 different flow rates&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sippy cups with soft spouts&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sippy cups with hard spouts&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Room temperature, slightly warmed, body temperature, and cold from the fridge drinks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drinks offered by Mom, Dad, Aunts, Grandparents, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No combination of the above has worked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby has no medical issues that we know of. Her mouth is perfectly normal, she is teething but the bottle refusal thing started before the teething.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a concern for us because, now that nursing has been reduced, we're not sure that she's getting enough liquids. Plus, baby can't be apart from her mother for more than a few hours for fear of dehydration. This spells trouble as mom is due back to work soon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: When she was 3 months old, our baby &lt;em&gt;was&lt;/em&gt; apart from her mother for 24 hours (mom had surgery). During that time she flatly refused all attempts to bottle feed her, effectively going on hunger strike. I feel that this experience might have stuck with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16490" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T21:19:29.980" Title="8 month old won't drink anything" Tags="|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20432" CreationDate="2015-05-29T15:08:33.130" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Signs of dehydration include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) sunken fontanelle&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) dark urine / less than six wet nappies in 24 hours&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) dry sometimes sticky lips&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're worried about dehydration you might want to speak to a doctor or health visitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby is probably getting enough fluid from breastmilk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the first year the baby will have either breast milk or infant formula.  After one year you will want to make water or full fat cows milk available. It's best to start using a normal cup as soon as the child can handle it. You might find a free-flow spout helps.  Avoid &quot;sippy&quot; or &quot;valved&quot; cups -- these can cause hearing problems.  Fruit juices have way too much sugar and should be heavily diluted. One part juice to tend parts water is the current recommendation in the UK, and that's only for children who refuse to drink water or milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a rule of thumb the child should be off bottles by the age of 12 months.  This is to avoid the teat disrupting tooth development. It is only a rough rule of thumb though!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let the child see the liquid, and let them play with it and explore it.  Imagine it was you and someone gave you a strange food to eat - you'd poke it a bit, and smell it, twist it around and so on.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Model good behaviour.  Make sure you all have drinks in similar cups and frequently drink from them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Copiously reward good behaviour. When the child touches the cup say &quot;Yes! That's your cup!&quot; And when she touches the drink say &quot;Yes! That's your water!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeding and drinking is something that is considerably stressful for parents! Please do remember that your child is probably fine; is probably getting everything from the food and nursing you provide; and that this is a short term thing that will probably clear within a few months. Just make sure drinks are always available and that the child knows the drink is there and they'll move over when they're ready. You say that Mother is returning to work soon - this problem will likely resolve itself then, as a source of hydration is removed the child will seek out replacements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the current UK recommendations: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/drinks-and-cups-children.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/drinks-and-cups-children.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-05-29T17:22:06.487" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T17:22:06.487" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20426" CreationDate="2015-05-29T15:36:33.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a productivity technique called the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pomodoro technique&lt;/a&gt; that you can adapt to try and help your son focus. Get an egg timer and give him 20 min sprints.  Have him work for 20 and if he's made good progress give him a 5 min break. Remove all distractions from his area, no outside books, posters, tv, etc. You might play a little quite symphony music as a background noise if he needs it. After a couple of these sprints have him do whatever he wants for a 20 min sprint. Let him read a book of choice, ride a bike around the block, etc. I would suggest something active for 20 min as kids in general do better after exercise concentrating (it's a big reason why cutting gym and playgrounds is such a horrible idea for school districts).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing I would do is sit him down and talk to him. Let him know your thoughts on his education and why you think his studies are important. Then get his views. Is there a subject he would like to learn instead? There are various ways to integrate his interests into his studies and still get through what you need to for him to meet grade level. Have him help you plan out his daily schedule, that way he learns a little about organization and maybe feels a bit more part of the entire process. If he can start to set his own goals, and really take ownership in his work day, that can have longer lasting effects than the base memorization of facts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="963" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T15:36:33.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20426" CreationDate="2015-05-29T18:44:34.833" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids need four things to learn self-regulation skills like time management:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tools&lt;/strong&gt; to help, such as posted lists and verbal reminders.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Autonomy&lt;/strong&gt; to make decisions about the use of their time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Constraints&lt;/strong&gt; that set the limits of that autonomy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Immediate &lt;strong&gt;consequences&lt;/strong&gt; for failure or success that are personally meaningful.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually what parents skip is the autonomy.  They tend to micromanage children's time on the things parents find important, forcing children to resist in order for their own wants to receive consideration, and giving children little practice in making good decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It's time for math.  These problems should take you around 15 minutes.  I've allocated an hour.  That's when the little hand is on the ten and the big hand is on the twelve.  If you finish before then and do it correctly, you can play for the remainder of the hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here you're setting constraints:  math must be done before playing and if you dawdle you'll lose the play time.  However, you're also granting autonomy within those constraints:  he can choose either to maximize his playing time by working quickly, or mope the entire hour.  The consequence of success or failure is personally meaningful, and felt immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then after fifteen minutes, you check on him.  If he hasn't made any progress, don't get angry or nag him.  Just emphasize that it's &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; decision.  &lt;em&gt;He&lt;/em&gt; can control whether he will play this hour or not.  If he has obstacles outside his control, he can ask you to help remove them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Oh, I thought you might be done by now.  I guess you decided to be sad instead of working quickly so you could play.  Are you stuck needing help on something?  Okay, well I hope you'll choose to work quickly so you can play soon.  I don't like it when you're sad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might take a few weeks of doing this before he really starts to view it as under his own control.  Then you can gradually relax the constraints.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't mention how long you've been homeschooling, or whether your son was previously enrolled in school.  This might be applicable anyway if you've been following a school-at-home approach.  Many kids do a lot better after a &quot;deschooling&quot; period, especially if their school experience has been mostly negative.  That basically means you take a break from anything school-like for a while, several weeks or months, even.  Then reintroduce it slowly, maybe an hour a day at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids with negative schooling experiences often get into a habit of resistance, basically from being burned out.  The deschooling break helps them get out of that habit.  If they are only burned out on one subject, maybe just take a break from that subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind that this is a sign that the material is uninteresting, or being given at too slow or fast a pace.  Try different curricula, find games that teach the concepts, adjust the challenge level to match his abilities.  Try to tie his interests in with what you want him to learn.  Math worksheets are boring.  Figuring out how many stacks of cobblestone he needs to build a certain house in minecraft is interesting, and may actually require more challenging math skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T18:44:34.833" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20381" CreationDate="2015-05-29T18:44:51.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the others already said, it's maybe too much...(and the fact that he probably will not know how to really &lt;strong&gt;play&lt;/strong&gt; until he is 3/4/5)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Nothing more to say...&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Beside that, here's a suggestion:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When he really likes to press buttons/keys, maybe consider something like this:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(&lt;strong&gt;only an example&lt;/strong&gt; [it's an keyboard which can make animal noises and regular musical notes])&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jako-o.de/produkte-baby-baby-spielzeug-geraeusche-spielzeug-tier-klavier-jako-o--647926.html?refCode=9814&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/1oe9Z.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(it can also be used by adults to improve their piano skills)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16113" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T18:44:51.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20377" CreationDate="2015-05-29T20:19:18.653" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not much to say, just to the point:&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The folks you stay with are absolutely right.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Let him explore the world, but &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; let him alone!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(especially when his environment is not 100% safe in many aspects)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Keep him away from dangerous things (&lt;em&gt;Electricity&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Heat&lt;/em&gt; (Oven/Cooker), &lt;em&gt;Water&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Windows&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Stairs&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;And always (try to) catch him when he falls (height doesn't matter).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have &lt;strong&gt;no fear&lt;/strong&gt; and will try the craziest things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16113" LastActivityDate="2015-05-29T20:19:18.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20440" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20479" CreationDate="2015-05-29T22:05:08.013" Score="4" ViewCount="427" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not quite sure if this is the right venue for my question but I hope ya'll tolerate it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife grew up in a single family home most of her life with an abusive stepfather the rest of the time.. Nowadays she goes &lt;em&gt;totally overboard&lt;/em&gt; compensating for her childhood to the point that it's negatively impacting both our relationship and how we are raising our son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's almost impossible to punish him, especially anything that takes a period of resolve to do (e.g. multi day loss of privilege) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;her way or else (otherwise I'm abusive, neglectful, etc). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she spends a disproportionate amount of time doing &quot;things&quot; for other folks.. you know the proverb about teaching a man to fish? She just hands them a cooler packed full, already cooked with tartar sauce. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways I've always known she had some issues in this regard but it seems to have been magnified by our (currently 6 year old) son.. Any insight would be much appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1893" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T17:45:20.440" Title="Parenting with a formerly abused partner?" Tags="|single-parent|abuse|coping|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20426" CreationDate="2015-05-30T01:21:42.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other answers provide sensible suggestions for improving time management skills, and you should certainly give these a try first. However, if your son does not respond to those techniques it could potentially be due to an underlying medical condition. Learning disabilities are extremely common and, although not curable, respond well to the proper treatment if caught early enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have given links to more information about two possible conditions below, but it is important that you seek professional guidance if your are concerned. Discuss the situation with your doctor, and if your doctor agrees, discuss it with your son (but make it clear he had done nothing wrong).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dyscalculia - difficulties with arithmatic (or &quot;Dyslexia for maths&quot;)&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/dyslexic/dyscalculia&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/dyslexic/dyscalculia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) - difficulties with concentration and time-management&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-in-children.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-in-children.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son does have one of these conditions then it is &lt;em&gt;certainly not&lt;/em&gt; &quot;the end&quot; and it doesn't make him &quot;stupid&quot;. These conditions are common, relatively minor, and should respond well to proper treatment. However, early diagnosis is important to prevent more serious secondary problems developing such as depression or low self-esteem. You must recognise and appreciate that your son is making a genuine effort, even though the results may not be what you (or he) wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son does have one of these conditions most aspects of life will not be affected at all. Many children struggle with maths and time-management skills even without a diagnosable condition. If your son struggles with maths then there are plenty of other careers out there to choose from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16111" LastActivityDate="2015-05-30T01:21:42.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20190" CreationDate="2015-05-30T12:00:18.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is absolutely possible for children to learn to speak in few different languages. I have seen 5 year children learning 3 different languages effortlessly. We live in English speaking country now.&#xA;I talk to my daughter in my mother tongue so my parents can speak to their grand daughter and vice versa. My daughter is fluent in speaking in 2 languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is 6 year old now and as soon as she comes home from School she communicates in English but after few deliberate attempts from me and my wife she starts to speak in our mother tongue.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-05-30T12:00:18.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20426" CreationDate="2015-05-30T13:54:35.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Other answers have successfully 1) addressed helping him find motivation for completing his work; and 2) pointed out that the time constraints required by one teacher educating a group of disparate kids are not required here, suggesting ways you can -- if you like -- make the problem go away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is for helping him grasp the concept of passing time, since, as most have pointed out, 8-year-olds don't really understand it.  Even my 11-year old thinks she can fit way too many non-essential tasks into the next twenty minutes she has before bed/school/soccer/etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him that you need to do several other things today, then make time more concrete by pointing out the movement of the sun.  Say, &quot;When you got up the sun was here, when we started math the sun was here, and now it's here.&quot;  Point overhead and swing your arm to demonstrate.  &quot;When the sun gets to here, you have to get ready for bed.  In that time we have to ...&quot; and list the tasks, including play time, swinging your arm to show how much time you expect them to take.  &quot;I want to spend only twenty more minutes&quot; --here you can show it on the clock (assuming it's analog) as well as swing your arm-- &quot;on math before we move on to&quot; ...whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also used to tell my daughter that time is sneaky, and it tries to sneak past when you're not paying attention, whether or not you're doing anything.  I think the point here is to challenge her to pay attention to it, so she can get done the things she needs to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2015-05-30T13:54:35.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18856" CreationDate="2015-05-30T23:08:21.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ours is currently 8 days old. We have found &quot;Happiest Baby On The Block&quot; to be a lifesaver in terms of calming techniques. Without the steps it discusses, I think she'd cry for hours on end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastEditorUserId="4092" LastEditDate="2015-06-01T17:13:49.310" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T17:13:49.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20447" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-30T23:34:19.673" Score="3" ViewCount="2217" Body="&lt;p&gt;For an 8-month old baby is it safe to use canola oil to treat cradle cap?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15018" LastActivityDate="2019-08-08T04:07:02.507" Title="Can I use canola oil to treat cradle cap?" Tags="|infant|hair|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20189" CreationDate="2015-05-31T05:21:15.397" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's very important that you not get into wrestling-type situations with your child, because that stimulates her fight-or-flight response, and then all bets are off.  In discipline, please use this rule of thumb: hands off!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't use her room as a time-out location.  In fact, you might even want to take a break from using the &quot;time-out&quot; as a consequence.  I'll give you an example of another sort of consequence that you can use in a step-by-step, escalating way.  Let's imagine, as an example, that your daughter normally gets 60 minutes per day to play computer games.  If she behaves in an unacceptable way, you explain very calmly what will happen if she misbehaves again: &quot;Missy, you need to be respectful (or whatever) if you want to get your full 60 minutes of your games.  Otherwise, I'm going to start taking off minutes.  The first time, you'll lose five minutes.  The second time, another ten minutes.  That would be fifteen minutes off, altogether.  The next time, another another fifteen minutes, bringing us up to a total of 30 minutes off.  And so on.  Do you understand?&quot;  It might help to draw a picture of a big clock, and make the chunks of lost time visual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During this transition period, pick no more than three rules you are going to enforce and stick to them!  Make sure that the consequences are not harsh.  The two of you need to learn a new way of doing discipline.  It will take a bit of time and patience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do use reduced time on the computer as a consequence, you should set up some computer controls ahead of time, with for example Qustodio, which is free and pretty easy to use.  You can set how much time per day she may use the computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want the consequences to be graduated (step by step, incremental), and not too harsh.  Otherwise, you may be tempted to take back the consequence when you see how upset she is!  (I'm speaking from experience here -- my son has been known to break out in hives all over his body from crying.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to stay away from all or nothing consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along with this structured negative consequence program, you will also need to use the trick of catching her in the act of good behavior and giving her some positive feedback for that.  A positive reward might be, &quot;Missy gets to choose what we're having for dinner tomorrow, as a special reward for taking such good care of Kitty, feeding her, giving her clean water, and petting her so nicely.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit to make my answer clearer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do I get around this, or do I?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't, you ditch what's not working, and try something else.  This is not a judgment of the 1-2-3 method, nor of you or your daughter.  Not every method works for everyone!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-05-31T14:17:40.820" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T14:17:40.820" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20086" CreationDate="2015-05-31T05:43:47.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would try jiggling her shoulder while she's falling asleep.  This is helpful for my son who has a high degree of muscle tone and sometimes has trouble winding down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you may have noticed, it can be helpful to get plenty of exercise and fresh air, and being overtired can make it harder to relax and fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case you're wondering what I mean by exercise for a baby of this age, please see my comment about this in the following thread: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19937/infant-has-trouble-falling-asleep/19946#19946&quot;&gt;Infant has trouble falling asleep&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T05:43:47.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20125" CreationDate="2015-05-31T06:08:27.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A three-month-old is still in the age of putting on weight very, very quickly, and is not very self-regulated yet.  If he is hungry during the night at that age, it's a good idea to feed him, to make sure that he gains well.  Also, in terms of the self-regulation -- if a baby needs some parental contact partway through the night, in order to feel settled and comfortable, that's okay at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're ready to start weaning your baby off of night feedings, do this one feeding at a time.  (Unless your baby takes the initiative and just doesn't need to be fed during the night.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can look at the first nine months out of the womb as exterogestation.  Human beings have such large heads that they have to come out of the womb a little early.  But their first nine months of life require a great deal of TLC.  Here's one reference that explains this idea: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.boba.com/the-second-nine-months&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.boba.com/the-second-nine-months&lt;/a&gt; but there are many others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-09T16:33:52.650" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T16:33:52.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20116" CreationDate="2015-05-31T06:30:53.527" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, I think I understand your question better, having reviewed the section on engorgement in my La Leche League &lt;em&gt;Breastfeeding Answer Book&lt;/em&gt; -- which is mainly aimed at La Leche League leaders and lactation consultants.  By the way, if you don't have a copy of &lt;em&gt;The Womanly Art&lt;/em&gt;, I recommend it!  I don't have a personal copy, but I imagine it has a section on engorgement too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the paragraph that helped me understand your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Some mothers are reluctant to express even a little milk for fear that this will increase their milk supply and make their engorgement worse.  If the mother mentions this concern, assure her that expressing some milk will make it easier for her baby to removed the milk from her breasts, which will lessen her engorgement.  Explain that the engorgement is caused in part by other fluids --lymph and blood-- as well as milk, and that removing a little milk will allow the baby to nurse well, which will relieve her congestion.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are references at the end of the chapter about engorgement -- let me know if you still want them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And congrats on the new baby!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-05-31T22:20:23.960" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T22:20:23.960" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20247" CreationDate="2015-05-31T07:06:51.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try branching out to books that have some math or music in them.  Also, you can start play-acting together some of the simple, repetitive stories, like Goldilocks and the Three Bears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try simple non-fiction books too, such as geometric shapes.  (Except I'm afraid you're already doing this too!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also enjoy working with actual literacy activities.  I read a book about teaching your baby to read.  You write down some familiar words (including names of family members) nice and big, flip through them with her about once a day.  Stop while she's still having fun.  At this stage, it's not going to be phonetic, but that's fine for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back to the music idea.  How about something like a Kindermusik program for parent and little one together?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you hunt a bit, you might be able to find a book of classic children's songs notated without staff lines, and with symbols and position on the page representing note values and pitch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take her to puppet shows, plays, musicals and concerts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, take her interest in books and stories as a jumping off place for learning in other ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T07:06:51.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20447" CreationDate="2015-05-31T07:17:52.367" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, you can use baby oil or natural oils (almond or olive or canola oil. But avoid groundnut or peanut oil in children under 5.) to loosen thick crusts.  It's probably a good idea to do a &quot;spot test&quot; for allergy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the information I am using for cradle cap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cradle-cap/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cradle-cap/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a harmless condition; it usually clears itself after a few months; most cases have completely gone by the age of one year.  If baby is scratching or appears distressed by cradle cap it's probably a good idea to ask a doctor or health visitor because it might not be cradle cap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T07:17:52.367" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20447" CreationDate="2015-05-31T07:44:39.443" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sure, canola oil is fine to use on the baby's scalp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For cradle cap, you can rub any edible non-nut vegetable oil into the crusted areas, but don't leave it on for hours; wash it off with baby shampoo 5-15 minutes after applying, and brush the flakes of crust off with a baby hairbrush. Repeat every day until gone, then shampoo hair at least twice a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned, though, that at this age, it might not be simple cradle cap (it is more common in early infancy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby hasn't been to their doctor for this, you should take them (it's not an emergency, though.) If it's not cradle cap, it will be treated differently. The baby should have a thorough skin exam for other affected areas, and a differential diagnosis should be considered. If it is cradle cap, there are now good new treatments for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://archderm.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=479236&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Frequency of Common Skin Conditions in Preschool-aged Children in Australia: Seborrheic Dermatitis and Pityriasis Capitis (Cradle Cap)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T07:44:39.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20432" CreationDate="2015-05-31T12:08:36.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried decreasing the association between the breast and drinking liquid by giving her skin-to-skin cuddling time that doesn't involve beast-feeding?  You or your wife could hold her in the crook of your (shirtless) arm while you turn the pages of a baby book or walk &quot;tickle fingers&quot; across her tummy, perhaps.  Also see if she'll accept a cup or bottle from someone this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T12:08:36.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20456" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20642" CreationDate="2015-05-31T12:15:55.293" Score="5" ViewCount="3832" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm interested in how cultures around the world teach sex-education and which may be the most effective at preparing kids to make smart, informed decisions about when sex is okay and what the consequences could be. I've heard it said that poor sexual education leads to more teen pregnancies, abortions, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a parent of three under 7 years, and I try to be as straightforward and rational with them as I can, but when it comes to the topic of &quot;sex&quot;, it's hard to know what's acceptable and what's considered too much. I thought maybe we could take advice from other cultures that may have a different perspective on this topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16444" LastEditorUserId="16444" LastEditDate="2015-05-31T16:15:50.047" LastActivityDate="2015-06-10T05:30:45.437" Title="How different cultures teach kids about sex" Tags="|sex-education|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20457" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20458" CreationDate="2015-05-31T12:28:39.903" Score="17" ViewCount="6170" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has tried a lot of sports and activities, and he rarely likes them.  We are trying to find something new for him now, but we're running low on ideas.  He has tried soccer, baseball, gymnastics, karate, and swimming.  His level of interest in these activities has varied, but he has been frequently unhappy with each of them.  For the moment, he is still doing gymnastics and karate, but he often gets very angry about having to participate in activities that he often finds boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are aspects of these sports that he certainly does enjoy.  In fact, his favorite physical activity is falling down.  This sounds unusual, but it is not a new or transient aspect of his personality.  He learned to walk so he could get a moving start and throw himself on the ground.  When he was one year old, he would get around that way--stand up, take a couple steps, then a big belly flop onto the carpet; and repeat.  He still likes falling-related things.  In gymnastics, he loves vaults; at the gym's recent show for parents, he had by far the biggest vaults of anyone in his age group, but his other skills were much more marginal.  So we've kept him in things that have aspects he enjoys, but we would like to find something more uniformly enjoyable for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He would probably prefer to spend every afternoon playing LEGO video games, but we generally restrict that to a few hours on the weekends.  He also likes to read, but he definitely needs some physical activity.  He should have the exercise to stay healthy, and it's clear that physical activity is helpful for his mood and self discipline.  On the other hand, some days he can be quite grouchy about participating in activities that he doesn't care for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what would be a good sport or physical activity for a child who likes falling down so much?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2021-03-21T14:57:42.120" LastActivityDate="2021-03-21T14:57:42.120" Title="What is a good physical activity for a seven-year old who loves falling down?" Tags="|primary-schooler|sports|physical-activity|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="18" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-05-31T13:18:47.950" Score="37" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about trampolining? It's very similar to gymnastics so he can probably use many of the skills he's picked up there. It involves lots of bouncing up and falling back down again as well as moves which involve falling on the front or back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also a good variation on swimming that might appeal more to his love of falling down is diving. He can do this from pretty high which could be quite exciting for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Climbing or abseiling might be another good choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a child my parents noticed an early interest in being upside down. When I was old enough I started gymnastics. Later on I did trampolining. I have always been more into individual sports than team and/or ball games so he sounds similar to me in that aspect. His enjoyment of falling down is not so far from my enjoyment of going upside down so I hope he'll enjoy these similar activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from sports, something he might enjoy on the weekends which will get him out of the house away from the video games is going to fairgrounds and theme parks. It's a bit expensive to do regularly but as an occasional treat I expect he will love this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T13:18:47.950" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-05-31T15:07:16.327" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bungee_jumping&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bungee-jumping&lt;/a&gt; comes to mind. There exist &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS3x7ahHK_0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bungee-jumping activities for children&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that a family friend took his 8-year-old &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; bungee jumping in Thailand recently, so you may be able to do that with him soon. One year goes by pretty fast (for adults, anyway), if you want to try on his next birthday. The sport is considered perfectly safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For another idea, here is &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-QUwuTdY2o&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a video of a 7-year-old skydiving&lt;/a&gt; tandem with his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastEditorUserId="1419" LastEditDate="2015-05-31T15:46:26.200" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T15:46:26.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-05-31T16:01:42.510" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;He could try American football. While being tackled certainly isn't quite the same as falling down, it is rather similar. Alternatively, he could play defense so he gets to fall down and at the same time knock somebody else down. While I can understand being worried about youth American football, it all comes down to ensuring he has the correct coach. As long as you meet the coach before signing him up and ensure that the coach is not too intense, he should be relatively safe playing American football and get to fall down a lot!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16513" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-05-31T17:55:05.427" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T17:55:05.427" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-05-31T16:03:43.350" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend without hesitation &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Judo&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only would he fall often, he would learn to fall properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14145" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T16:03:43.350" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-05-31T18:48:55.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What about Kung-Fu &lt;del&gt;or Taekwondo&lt;/del&gt;? These are very dynamic sports where you jump and fall a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;EDIT: removed Taekwondo which I extrapolated from Kung-Fu&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14656" LastEditorUserId="14656" LastEditDate="2015-06-01T06:23:04.050" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T06:23:04.050" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20465" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-05-31T20:09:24.190" Score="5" ViewCount="289" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm thinking about to color 70% of the body of my children (3-4 years old) with blue ink in order to show that 70% of his body is constituted of water. The problem is maybe they could think that the upper part of his body doesn't have water (see picture). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/bz8ci.png&quot; alt=&quot;&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think this activity is the best activity to show that? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for suggestions of activities in order to show them that his body has 70% of water as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16515" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T10:25:23.733" Title="Activities to show to my children that the body is 70% water" Tags="|teaching|activities|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-05-31T20:35:06.843" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Diving is all about falling with style.  If he finds the activities you listed boring, I suspect that he will enjoy the adrenaline rush from the height.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastActivityDate="2015-05-31T20:35:06.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20007" CreationDate="2015-05-31T22:22:54.320" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can I suggest ice hockey?  I see there are a couple of rinks with learn to skate hockey programs near Seattle.  I started my daughter in an excellent one at age four (across the country from you, sorry!) solely so she could learn to skate (we were not a hockey family -- I didn't even like the sport, but I hated my own tottering, terrified-of-falling childhood experience of beginning figure skating), and she took off in her second year and never looked back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good learn to skate hockey program will have the kids wear hockey equipment (you have to buy it, sorry, but you can get it second-hand), and start them skating back and forth across the ice.  My daughter's rink supplies chairs they can push until they feel comfortable without one.  Then they go on to the fun stuff.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They start by having them line up in six lines, then blow a whistle to signal the first kid to start down the ice.  At the next whistle the next kid takes off.  Partway down the ice -- at the blue lines and center line usually -- they have them add something to it: jumping, standing on one leg, throwing themselves down and scrambling up, etc.  Generally the kids love the falling, since they don't get hurt in all that padding.  Sometimes it's just to their knees, sometimes they're supposed to roll once or twice.  They slide across, scramble up, then repeat at the next line.  Or they'll have them try balancing on one leg, or going down to one knee, which they won't be able to manage till they've been skating for a while, but you can see they're picking up skills to make them comfortable on the ice, skills they would use playing hockey.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They'll set up obstacle courses and relay races, skating backwards and forwards.  At some point (half way through the year?) sticks are introduced and they learn to push the puck.  Then half ice scrimmages start, generally way too early in the morning, but &quot;Hey,&quot; the kids tell their babysitters, their classmates, and strangers at restaurants, &quot;I play hockey!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One possible advantage for a shy child:  the face mask and hockey uniform give them a certain anonymity -- it's hard to see faces, and impossible to see bodies.  Being a little overweight can be an advantage.  Also, at seven and eight it's expected that a parent will still be coming in the locker rooms to help them get dressed, or at least tie their skates, so you can still be there to support him.  Another advantage is that it's the cheapest way to learn to ski I know of.  I was told of this phenomenon by another parent, so I started my daughter skiing after a year of hockey, and the instructors couldn't  believe she was only five.  By her sixth time on the mountain they had her in level six (of nine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;YMMV, obviously.  And hockey for the older kids has its risks, same as soccer, lacrosse, and football.  But they go from not being able to skate to skating to playing hockey in three months, so I'm hoping it counts as a fast-feedback loop for you, but athleticism determines how well they actually play.  The ones that take to hockey love it, even if they're not that good, and can't wait for the next season to start.  Once the actual hockey scrimmages/games start, you'll know if he's one of these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2015-06-01T10:54:14.020" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T10:54:14.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20469" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20482" CreationDate="2015-06-01T02:36:39.703" Score="10" ViewCount="2027" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a friend who is a 26 year old single guy who makes a good amount of money, not six figures but a close amount. He bought a 3 bedroom house and has a solid career, and on top of his apps and open source projects he is branching out socially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But his parents, who gave everything for his private school education, have been underemployed for a few years and financially struggled. He has helped them here and there with money but did it selectively and carefully, as he learned the hard way they can get too dependent on him. But finally his Dad got a fulltime job, making a modest white collar salary again. They're short on cash, but their house valuation nearly doubled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coincidentally, his Dad is moving to the same city as his son. The son gave a few thousand to help his cash strapped parents get the house on the market, and the parents promise to pay him back. But while the house gets sold, the son reluctantly agrees to let his parents and younger brother move in temporarily. His only worry is the sellers market is so competitive that his parents may struggle to buy a house. Not to mention, he despises the petty family drama and more than once told his Dad to stop the  attitude or find somewhere else to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only post this because I'm close to this guy and can relate to his experiences. Its so backwards to the typical narrative nowadays. Most kids in their 20s live with their parents and rely on them for help, not the other way around. He came to me for advice and I do not know what to say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What rules and boundaries should be established in this kind of situation? Financially and socially, What can he do to balance his own life and seeking his own family while helping his parents? Is there things he should have done differently to balance expectations more optimally?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16522" LastEditorUserId="16522" LastEditDate="2015-06-01T19:21:57.087" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T20:33:50.660" Title="How much should a 26 y.o. adult child assist their parents?" Tags="|adult-child|money|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19526" CreationDate="2015-06-01T06:58:25.703" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;(returning late to the party)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my reading I just came across this impressive paper regarding maternal stress:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;Stress during Pregnancy and Offspring Pediatric Disease: A National Cohort Study&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Description: &quot;The purpose of this study was to assess the association between common psychosocial stress during pregnancy and the risk of a wide range of offspring diseases.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3226491/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3226491/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on &quot;population-based sample of mothers with live singleton births (n = 66,203; 71.4% of those eligible)&quot;. (n = 66,203 is a respectable number)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it is exceptionally well referenced (~90 other bits of research referred to by my count).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is their definition of &quot;stress&quot;:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3226491/table/t1/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3226491/table/t1/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some of my favourite findings:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The observed association between maternal stress during pregnancy and&#xA;  child health may represent long-term consequences of subtle&#xA;  adaptations in multiple organ systems to the intrauterine environment.&#xA;  The potential biological mechanisms underlying such developmental&#xA;  plasticity, including epigenetic processes and changes at the&#xA;  molecular, cellular, and organ level in the offspring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Specifically, in relation to maternal stress during pregnancy,&#xA;  numerous subclinical alterations in physiology, including changes in&#xA;  immune, brain, cardiovascular, autonomic, endocrine, and metabolic&#xA;  function, have been described, such as changes in fetal heart rate,&#xA;  insulin resistance, increased concentrations of immunoglobulin E in&#xA;  cord blood and changes in hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis&#xA;  function[1]. .. Elevated stress levels across pregnancy have also been associated with changes in production of pro-inflammatory cytokines in the offspring[2]. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Adjusting for maternal smoking during pregnancy, hypertension, and&#xA;  diabetes did not alter associations between maternal stress during&#xA;  pregnancy and child health. Maternal nutrition is another candidate&#xA;  mediator, because stress is related to quality of nutrition, and a&#xA;  relationship between nutrition during pregnancy and a range of&#xA;  offspring diseases has been well documented. ... Adjusting for birth&#xA;  weight and length of gestation had little effect on associations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was going to post this anyway before re-reading the beginning of the conclusion: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This study suggests that &lt;strong&gt;maternal life stress&lt;/strong&gt; during pregnancy may&#xA;  be a common risk factor for a wide range of diseases in the offspring;&#xA;  however, we found almost no evidence for adverse health consequences&#xA;  of &lt;strong&gt;maternal emotional stress&lt;/strong&gt; during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There seems to be some other research out there, though this paper is interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1]  changes in HPA axis activity have been associated not only with maternal stress during pregnancy (Kapoor et al. 2008), but also with a wide range of diseases, including mental disorders (Goodyer et al. 2001), respiratory diseases (Priftis et al. 2009), diseases of the skin (Buske-Kirschbaum et al. 2010), and infectious diseases (Bailey et al. 2003). However, although the HPA axis has long been proposed as a causal link between early adversity and lifelong disease risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[2] dysregulation of cytokine production has been associated with certain mental disorders (Conti and Fulcheri 2010; Raison et al. 2010); infectious diseases (Subauste et al. 1995); diseases of the eye, such as conjunctivitis (Niederkorn 2008); ear, such as otitis media (Smirnova et al. 2002); respiratory system, such as asthma (Finkelman et al. 2010); digestive system, such as disorders related to gastrointestinal motility (De Winter and De Man 2010); urogenital system, such as urinary tract infection (Mak and Kuo 2006); and skin, such as atopic dermatitis (Miraglia del Giudice et al. 2006). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16173" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T06:58:25.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-06-01T07:41:05.853" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may have a poor cultural connection where ever you are, but no one has yet suggested: &lt;strong&gt;skateboarding&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not scootering or some other watered down variation, but the unforgiving plank with wheels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's &lt;strong&gt;creative&lt;/strong&gt;, very difficult and takes an exceptionally phenomenal amount of &lt;strong&gt;physical fitness&lt;/strong&gt;[1] &lt;em&gt;as well as&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;technicality&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;balance&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;precision&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover all it takes a bit of concrete and the board, That's it -- no classes, gyms, special circumstances or schedule. Here in Australia we have great public skate parks all over the place. Though often people just find and/or make their own obstacles, it inspires some wonderful teamwork and creativity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the individual has the mettle to avoid the famous negative aspects of the sport's culture -- the &lt;strong&gt;self-discipline&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;determination&lt;/strong&gt; of those who participate in this sport is mind blowing. And did I mention is fun, personal and creative (in the same spirit as dancing) and profoundly compelling once you get to a certain level. From Tony Hawk to Rodney Mullins there's so many creative directions the sport can be taken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it's safer than you think it is -- you learn the techniques to land safely very very quickly (part of the fun is how unforgiving it is), and sure kid'll lose some skin, but in your case sounds like he's likely to anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get him a half-decent board and show him some videos, put him in the courtyard or driveway and see what he thinks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took up vert skating in my 20s and while I'm too old now  (and am on to the mellower boardsports instead) I still periodically long for the sense of freedom and gut-clenching sheer intensity and technicality of skating ramps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://vimeo.com/66637362&quot;&gt;https://vimeo.com/66637362&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1] eg pro-skater Danny Way periodically ranks really well in the world's hardest iron man competitions for fun, without training at all, just with his normal skating level of fitness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll leave this link here too: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.celebritynetworth.com/list/top-50-skateboarders/&quot;&gt;http://www.celebritynetworth.com/list/top-50-skateboarders/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16173" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T07:41:05.853" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20465" CreationDate="2015-06-01T08:34:39.490" Score="12" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Make beef jerky&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A tasty lesson about how important water is in living organisms.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that the human body is 70% water is pretty well known, but really on its own it's just a simple factoid. It doesn't teach you much. Instead, make the knowledge part of a lesson in biology revolving around the importance of water to (all!) life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since practical lessons tend to stick much better, this lesson uses all of the senses and lets the children get involved with the proces to make sure it sticks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Observing ordinary meat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by getting a slab of ordinary meat to make jerky from. Show it to the kids; talk a bit about how water is important to living things. Let them handle the meat and ask them to write down what it looks, feels and smells like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Making predictions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, tell them you're going to remove the water from the meat. (Don't tell them it becomes jerky, that might make them cheat in the next steps) Let them predict how much of the meat is water (their own best guess) and write it down. Also let them predict what will happen to the meat, using the same descriptors as in the first step (looks, feels, smells).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;End lesson, make jerky&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;End the first part of the lesson. Use a very bland marinade to prep the jerky and then weigh the end result and write down the number. The reason for using a bland marinade is that you want to change the smell as little as possible! You can let the kid watch in on this part and/or turn it into another lesson, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Prepare next lesson&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the jerky is complete, start the next lesson. Tell the kids the total weight at the start. Then, let them weigh the end result and let them figure out how much of the initial weight was water that has now been removed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Draw conclusions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them handle the meat again and write down the look, feel, smell, etc. Recover the earlier writings. Compare their predictions (both in water content % vs real and the predicted look/feel/smell vs the actual) and discuss the results. Then talk a bit about what has happened to the meat and where the differences are coming from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Closing up&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take questions, if any remain. Then, eat the jerky together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Pros&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;letting kids explore the proces with all their senses means things will stick better&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teaches children about the scientific method; make predictions, do experiments, see if you were right, figure out what happened&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;learn about how things are prepared and that food isn't just produced in a factory&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Cons&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;material might be expensive and can only be used once&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lesson is split in two parts due to preperation proces of jerky&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;not suitable for vegetarians (but try dried fruit instead; works about the same although it's a little further removed from the feel of human flesh)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T10:25:23.733" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-06-01T09:03:00.450" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ultimate frisbee its the best sport for this. I was like him and i found this sport amazing. Plus its based on fair play, mixed, good spirit and really impressive. Here some video &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FKbaFNA07I&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FKbaFNA07I&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byy0iWakkI0&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byy0iWakkI0&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16526" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T09:03:00.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2015-06-01T12:46:54.817" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say &quot;We get energy from eating food&quot; and we need energy to ride bycicles or to run,etc. He might easily understand that he can only play if we has energy and he can get plenty of it by eating.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T12:46:54.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20440" CreationDate="2015-06-01T17:45:20.440" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent who grew up in an abusive home-life situation, I can connect with your wife's perspective.  Growing up, I never knew when the next blow was coming.  I could say something &quot;wrong&quot;, have an expression on my face that looked &quot;disrespectful&quot; and suddenly I was slammed up against a wall getting yelled at by a man who I didn't doubt was capable of beating me into unconsciousness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time my husband did anything &quot;violent&quot; (ie, throwing an empty plastic hamper at a wall) I reacted inside as if someone had struck me.  Kids who grow up in a situation where they were constantly threatened develop a knee-jerk reaction to any physical (or verbal) expression of anger.  We also overreact to the idea of punishment, because punishment was never appropriate or deserved. It was used by our abuser to make himself (or herself) feel good, at our expense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been through years of counseling, and also spent a couple of years working with other adults who grew up abused.  Though I have never met your wife, based on my own experience and stories that I heard in the years coordinating an abuse recovery group, I can tell you that she has a deep well of anger.  All abused kids develop it.  (And it never totally goes away; the best you can do is acknowledge it and take measures to deal with it.)  Whenever you want to punish your child (&lt;em&gt;regardless&lt;/em&gt; of whether the punishment is appropriate or deserved) she is going to immediately flash back emotionally to her childhood.  You suddenly become her father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me be absolutely clear on this; you can't &quot;fix&quot; this yourself.  She needs to be shown by someone who she does not associate with her family (current or past) how her upbringing has warped her sense of perspective.  Do not point this out to her, by the way.  It will make things worse, I guarantee it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She needs to get into counseling.  I don't know how opposed she will be to this.  I was lucky, in that a man who I admired greatly and who was also a brilliant counselor, set me up to have a very positive attitude toward counseling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even with this, for me, it was a very long and steep climb.  Trying to rewire a brain that is screaming at you &quot;this is wrong!  this is scary!  this is &lt;em&gt;dangerous&lt;/em&gt;!&quot; is not fun and takes a great deal of strength and, most of all, trust.  Her counselor will need to be able to gain her trust, and you need to gain her trust.  This isn't any reflection on you, but simply having good intentions isn't enough when you are dealing with abuse survivors.  People have triggers that make them feel &quot;safe&quot;, and abusive survivors need them more than most people.  You need to learn your wife's specific trust triggers.  Once she is able to feel safe, she'll be able to deal better with situations which trigger her &quot;alarms&quot; but which aren't actually alarm type situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, I don't know if this will make you feel any better but you are fortunate in that your wife went the &quot;right&quot; way in falling on the side of &quot;no abuse, ever&quot;.  Many kids that grow up with abusers become abusers themselves.  She deserves to be given credit there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T17:45:20.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-06-01T18:31:22.723" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered Capoeira? It's a cross between dance and martial arts that involves quite a bit of playful acrobatics and falling. Here are a couple samples from YouTube, which give a flavor of the sport: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8xxgFpK-NM&quot;&gt;Adult Performance&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WUzUhzXww&quot;&gt;Children's Competition&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is blessed to have a dad who looks for an activity in which he can express who he is!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16536" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T18:31:22.723" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20469" CreationDate="2015-06-01T20:12:50.220" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the father of three and I would say that it should be the same thing he probably heard a thousand times growing up.  &quot;My house, my rules.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is being kind and generous letting his family stay with him, but that doesn't mean he needs to be a door mat.  If they don't want to live under his rules, they can find an apartment to live in until they find a house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T20:12:50.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20469" CreationDate="2015-06-01T20:33:50.660" Score="6" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Its so backwards to the typical narrative nowadays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a very one-sided sort of question but is also very specific to the type of culture you were grown up in. When I was a kid, my friend had a three/four generation household. I currently live in a three-generational household where I am the main provider for my household and never ask my parents for rent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some cultures, specifically Hispanic and Asian cultures, while it's not norm in this country, it's not uncommon or 'backwards.' My mother takes care of my toddler while I work and most of the household chores while my father, husband, and I work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents give me space when I have friends over and vice verse. This is about the idea of managing expectations. If your friend expected this to be temporary, he should tell his father to leave. If this was never the expectation, it could be seen as both culturally rude and disrespectful for deciding after the fact that the behavior of a man he's known his entire life was just then 'not up to standard.' If he is the only one suffering from disrespect, he is still in his right to tell them to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what needs to be decided is if the house is a two household situation or one. Are the parents 'roommates' or are they a familial unit? If the parents are 'roommates', boundaries need to be written down and either formalized in a lease or at the very least a collective agreement of house rules. If the household is a single familial unit, he needs to not be surprised that his parents are treating their child like their child, regardless of age, and be as sensitive to their needs as he expects it of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9134" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T20:33:50.660" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20483" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-01T20:43:11.237" Score="8" ViewCount="888" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 1/2 year old daughter loves to sleep.  When she was younger I couldn't get her to sleep at night so we completely stopped her naps.  Now, she is in preschool and will go about her normal day. She will stay awake until about 2:30 and come 2:30 I will find her asleep on the couch or chair.  She can be outside playing and I will run inside the house to get something only to come outside and find her asleep on the porch swing.  She even says she loves to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is an extremely hard sleeper and very hard to wake up.  I've seen times where I've turned on the fire alarm to see if she will wake up, as it scares me if there were to be a fire someday and she doesn't hear it.  She will open her eyes and then fall right back to sleep.  When she naps, she can nap until almost 5pm and then won't fall asleep until 10 or 11pm.  She will play in her bed by singing, until she falls asleep.  There are days where she will not take a nap and falls asleep at 6 or 7pm and sleep all night.  In the morning she is very hard to wake up and takes her about 45 minutes to actually wake up, but that's with me constantly going into her room to wake her up by rubbing her back, talking to her, opening the shades to her window, etc.  I try everything, by then its extremely rushed for her to get ready for school and most of the time has to eat breakfast that they provide at the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried she is either getting to much sleep or going to bed too late and not getting enough sleep.  But if I add up her naps plus hours slept during the night it seems like she's getting enough sleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else can I do to keep her awake? She is constantly on the go playing outside or inside or doing crafts, its not like she's sitting there bored!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16539" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-02T11:48:55.983" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T13:21:35.080" Title="My 4 1/2 year old loves to sleep... is this a problem?" Tags="|sleep|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19091" CreationDate="2015-06-01T20:49:42.400" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps they have learned that nothing you say matters until you raise your voice, because that is the point where consequences start happening. I've often seen misbehaving children with a parent sitting in a chair just saying &quot;Johnny don't do that. Johnny I said don't do that&quot; ad-infinitum. To the child its just background noise. Children are very good at spotting patterns in behaviour and figuring out exactly what they can get away with in any given situation. Change the pattern and the kids will figure it out pretty quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So say &quot;Johnny don't do that&quot; once. If Johnny carries on, get out of the chair, pull him round to face you and say &quot;Johnny I told you not to do that. Do not make me tell you again.&quot;. Third time, consequences (time out, go to room, TV off, whatever).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T20:49:42.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18599" CreationDate="2015-06-01T21:06:14.687" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had exactly that problem at about that age. The doctor suggested trying capsules instead. End of problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess that capsules don't work with young children because they try to chew them, but by 4 years old she is probably old enough to learn to swallow without chewing. Maybe she could try swallowing some tic-tacs (tiny pill-shaped sweets) for practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-06-01T21:06:14.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20486" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20529" CreationDate="2015-06-01T22:21:23.283" Score="10" ViewCount="2320" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our preschooler (3 1/2 years old) demands a band-aid for every minor injury, whether he's actually bleeding or not. I've tried discussing the actual purpose of an adhesive bandage (keeping a wound closed and dirt and germs away while it heals) and pointing out that it will do nothing for a stubbed toe, banged shin, or bumped earlobe. He calmly listens to the explanation, then says, &quot;OK, but I need a band-aid,&quot; and points to the bruise again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming I've got enough on hand that I don't risk running out in case a real cut or scrape needs attention — is there a downside to letting him use them as often as he wants? I'm not sure whether it's fine to indulge in the placebo effect (given his young age, this is unlikely to last), or whether he's learning to think of first aid as a game rather than a serious analytical process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T06:27:26.563" Title="Is there a downside to giving a preschooler band-aids when he doesn't really need them?" Tags="|pre-schooler|mental-health|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20487" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20517" CreationDate="2015-06-01T23:23:24.150" Score="5" ViewCount="5398" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. We like to give the younger sister time on her tummy to learn how to crawl, but often while she is on the floor her older sister will come harass her. The most common thing the older one does that we don't like is she will squish her sister by lying on her. Sometimes the younger sister seems okay with it at first, but then her face will get smashed or something like that and she will cry. So far we have been putting our older daughter in time out when it happens, but so far her behavior hasn't changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see a couple possibilities. &#xA;1) Older daughter is looking for attention and gets it when we rush in to stop her. &#xA;2) Older daughter wants to play with her sister and doesn't know how to do so in a safe manner. &#xA;3) Older sister is jealous of the attention younger sister gets and is trying to establish dominance over her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think is going on and what do you recommend we do about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16540" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T17:19:06.577" Title="How to discourage toddler from playing rough with infant sister?" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19091" CreationDate="2015-06-02T00:44:46.070" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is normal. I have same problem. I too don't pay attention when someone talks to me when I am watching TV and it annoys some people around me.To listen to someone talking to me I have to I turn the TV off. I know one of my friend's wife who has similar problem.&#xA;I never disliked the person who yelled at me in louder voice. I learnt that I simply can't concentrate on more than one thing at the same time. Beisdes, many people like the fact that I give undivided attention when they talk to me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't mean that your kid doesn't care what you say. It is simply their nature of concentrating on things.  Try to cut the TV or youtube time for kids and try talking to them in normal voice and engage yourself with Lego toys, etc and you will find out that they listen to you when you speak to them in normal voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally think that they are too young to expect them to listen to you while playing Legos or watching TV. Good Luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T00:44:46.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20489" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20491" CreationDate="2015-06-02T01:27:28.217" Score="2" ViewCount="2544" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby's mother is putting Tiger Balm on the soft spot of the baby's head. I'm concerned that the chemicals will be absorbed and affect brain development. Is this a valid concern?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16541" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-10T13:53:37.270" LastActivityDate="2019-01-10T13:53:37.270" Title="Safe to put ointment on baby's soft spot?" Tags="|health|safety|skin-care|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-06-02T11:44:33.220" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20490" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20507" CreationDate="2015-06-02T03:12:25.240" Score="41" ViewCount="36247" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a nearly 3-year-old boy whose energy has become near-limitless, coupled with new neediness, aggression, and defiance. He wants to run around and be played with for the entire day. He is unable to sit still for more than about 10 seconds most of the time. We play with him and read him books as much as we can--hours at a time and lots of activities--but eventually we get tired or other things demand our attention. We can't be playing with him &lt;em&gt;all day&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets more tired from the playing and especially when we have to do something else or we start interacting with each other instead of him, he gets more and more agitated and starts hitting and throwing things for attention. At this point, we make him stay in his room or put him down for a nap, but he often gets mad about this and has started to deliberately pee and poop in his underpants (he's mostly potty trained and this is obviously deliberate). When we leave his bottom half naked, he pees and poops on the floor instead. He knows that these are naughty things and is doing them on purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He often wakes up early from his nap cranky but refuses to be put back to bed, just getting out of his room instead. If we hold the door shut, he throws a fit, trashes his room, and goes back to the peeing-and-pooping on the floor routine. The pee and poop seem endless. Once he comes out (we can't keep him in his room forever...), he immediately hits and throws things the first second that somebody doesn't give him their 100% undivided attention. Then we get back to putting him in his room and the cycle continues...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're going crazy. We don't believe in corporal punishment and are starting to feel like we're running out of disciplinary tools. I feel like his behavior is crying out for attention, but giving him as much as he seems to want just isn't helping! In fact, it's driving him nuts! And us too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16547" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T15:39:50.563" Title="3 year-old boy wants constant attention, hits and deliberately poops in underpants when he doesn't get it" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|anger|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20489" CreationDate="2015-06-02T04:36:34.873" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is a valid concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There is no reason to put camphor oil on any infant.&lt;/strong&gt; There is no clinical benefit, and there &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; a risk of respiratory damage, seizures, liver damage and even death. Every camphor-containing over-the-counter preparation is clearly labeled with instructions to avoid use in children under two years of age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of the danger of camphor oil in children, the government limits it to 11% in any preparation, and most cough remedies (e.g. Vick's vapo-rub) have significantly less that this. Tiger Balm, however, has the full 11%, making it particularly inappropriate for use in children under two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In an infant, absorption through the skin can be substantial. Since camphor is metabolized by the liver, even small amounts of camphor can produce significant toxicity because the liver of an infant is too immature to metabolize it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In 2000, a case report was published of liver toxicity in a 2 month old infant with only dermal exposure. Neurotoxicity (nerveous system damage) has been observed after exposure to camphor through the skin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please have your baby's mother stop applying the oil immediately and have the infant seen by her doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/410566&quot;&gt;Camphor Hepatotoxicity&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-02T04:45:28.150" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T04:45:28.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-06-02T05:54:33.670" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another option could be &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parkour&lt;/a&gt; (aka free running)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX7QNWEGcNI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Video&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parkour practitioners aim to get from A to B in the most efficient way possible. This is done using only the human body and the surroundings for propulsion, with a focus on maintaining as much momentum as possible while still remaining safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a group that practices down at my local park 2-3 nights a week&#xA;(There will probably be one near you too)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They teach how to run and jump and land properly,&#xA;and it is free.&#xA;When he has some practice you wont need to chauffeur him, as he will just Parkour his way there!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will also mean he will be socializing with people who are not part of his normal (school) peer group. Which will be good for him socially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6488" LastEditorUserId="6488" LastEditDate="2019-05-17T21:38:57.767" LastActivityDate="2019-05-17T21:38:57.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20490" CreationDate="2015-06-02T06:15:24.330" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, when did that start? How did it escalate? Was it gradual or just happened all of a sudden? Try to discover the source of this behavior, perhaps there is one. If you know it you may be able to handle the situation better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, the defecation is crossing the line. Kids fuss, go through tantrums, we have to be understanding, but there also have to be boundaries. I don't think corporal punishment would work in this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Desperate times call for desperate measures&lt;/em&gt;. Make him clean the pee and poop in his room. At least make him attempt to, because he's not likely to manage to do it well. It's the attempt that matters, that he acknowledges what he had done and attempts to fix it. If he doesn't, don't clean it yourself. Be strict and don't give in. Cut all snacks and tv and games and give him only the most basic, nutricious but dull food to eat. You want to read a book, son? Clean the poop. You want the good juice instead of water? Clean the poop. And so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T05:52:25.963" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T05:52:25.963" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20494" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20500" CreationDate="2015-06-02T07:01:52.323" Score="9" ViewCount="5705" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my parents (parent 'B') was consistently unreliable in terms of emotional support and educational development when I was growing up; they never wanted to spend time with me and I often felt like I was a burden to them rather than a son. During college when my parents divorced 'B' put my other parent, (parent 'A') whom was &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; there for me and whom I cared deeply about, into a major bind and filed for bankruptcy, which placed 'A' with all of our family's debts. Furthermore, because 'B' filed for bankruptcy, and 'A' was buried in debt, I then had no way have a co-signer for loans, and I thus suffered many difficulties in college: at times I became malnutritioned, and I was intermittently homeless. Now I have just graduated with dual degrees in Mathematics and Physics, and I plan to pursue a PhD at UCLA (which is very well-funded by fellowships/scholarships). Now 'B' wants to reconnect and seems like they actually want to be a parent, but I don't have any interest in connecting with them. How should I handle their approaches? For instance, 'B' will call me weekly, but I haven't answered for the past 3 weeks and either just cancel their call or let it go to voicemail, is there something more productive I can do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One obvious idea is to tell 'B' how I feel, but I don't even feel comfortable sharing &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; feelings with 'B' because of how they have neglected me in the past.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14767" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T19:52:35.353" LastActivityDate="2023-06-09T10:49:58.147" Title="How do I handle an absentee parent wanting to build a relationship later in life?" Tags="|parents|adult-child|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20483" CreationDate="2015-06-02T07:40:49.957" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;A rule of thumb for how much sleep your child should be getting: at 4 years old a child needs about 11 hours 30 minutes sleep. At 5 years old she needs 11 hours. Both of these are overnight with no day time naps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got those numbers from this UK NHS website.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/howmuchsleep.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/howmuchsleep.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sleep is very important to a child's wellbeing. There's no set amount of sleep that all children of a particular age need, but here's a guide to the approximate hours of sleep they should aim for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can see the use lots of qualifiers: no set amount, guide, approximate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that helps is to develop a routine and stick to it every day.  So, for example, don't have a different routine for the weekend.  You'll normally see &quot;sleep hygiene&quot; discussed when someone has a problem falling asleep in the evening, but it is useful to help people wake in the morning too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/bedtimeritual.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/bedtimeritual.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some important parts of a sleep routine include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• go to be at the same time every evening, and get up at the same time every morning&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;• have a ritual every evening for about 30 minites before going to bed. Examples could be having a warm bath, reading a calm book, brushing your teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you try all this and you think there is still a problem you might want to see a doctor.  One thing that will help the doctor is a &quot;sleep diary&quot; - spend a couple of weeks noting down when your child goes to sleep, wakes up, if they have any wakes in the night, or any naps in the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-06-04T08:47:02.007" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T08:47:02.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20496" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-02T07:55:53.800" Score="3" ViewCount="214" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has a very low attention span. She is a bright child otherwise. But lack of concentration affects her studies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please could you recommend some activities or games that can help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16548" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-06-02T08:32:33.543" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T09:50:51.887" Title="How do I increase concentration of my 6years old daughter?" Tags="|primary-schooler|attention|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20490" CreationDate="2015-06-02T08:27:53.640" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a toddler exhibits behaviour like this they are struggling to communicate, and they are struggling to regulate an emotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very hard for parents, when confronted by deliberate &quot;naughtiness&quot; like pooping on a floor, to maintain loving calmness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I understand it there are two aims:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) help him develop confidence to play alone and entertain himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) set appropriate boundaries and enforce these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working on the first will reduce the need for the second.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want your child to enjoy playing by themselves. This will take some time to achieve. When you're playing with toys or drawing you can start the process of detaching from those activities. Start standing up and sitting down.  Then walk to a different room, still talking to your child, and walk straight back. Then walk to a different room and stay there for a minute or two, and walk back. The aim here is to show your child that you are there and that he can play by himself without losing you. Remember to copiously praise good behaviour. Sticker charts and prizes help. Lots of attention after good behaviour helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll want to encourage him to use words, not actions, to express emotion. Children need some help to learn emotions. There are lots of picture books that can help. Describe the situation and ask your child &quot;how do you think he feels in that situation? Happy, or sad?&quot; (Start with obvious contrasts, work to more subtle differences). Once the child can name emotions you can move onto teaching your child about behaviour that works when he has a strong emotion vs behaviour that does not work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also need to acknowledge what your child is feeling. &quot;I know you want to play with me. You really want to don't you? &#xA;It's a little bit sad isn't it, that I can't play with you right now?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also want clear, easy to understand, firm, boundaries for acceptable behaviour. The punishment for breaking those boundaries needs to happen then, and should not last more than 5 minutes. (Your child's pre-frontal cortex does not fully develop until their early twenties, so longer punishments are not effective and probably counter productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child poops you say &quot;No. We do not poop on the floor. We do not poop in our pants. You need to sit on the thinking step and think about it&quot;, then clean him up and take him to the thinking step. Don't let him turn this into a game. At his age three minutes on the step is an effective pength of time. When that's finished you ask him if he's thought about it; what he did wrong; what he should do in future; and what he's going to do now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found this website useful. Normally I'd copy bits of it here but it's long and all of it is useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/challenging-behavior/toddlers-and-challenging-behavior.html&quot;&gt;http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/challenging-behavior/toddlers-and-challenging-behavior.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also like this websites nuanced discussion about &quot;acting up&quot;, emphasing that he's not doing it to get your attention as much as he's doing it because he doesn't know how to express or control his strong emotion. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gentleparenting.co.uk/kc/time-out-or-time-in/&quot;&gt;http://www.gentleparenting.co.uk/kc/time-out-or-time-in/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="11426" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T00:00:48.930" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T00:00:48.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20496" CreationDate="2015-06-02T08:39:22.123" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A six year old child should be able to concentrate for about 10 to 15 minutes.  They will tend to prefer structured activities over more free-form activity. They will benefit from alternating between an activity with some moving about and activities that require sitting and thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might find that allowing your child to fidget will help - some children need to wiggle their hands around or squirm on their chair for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T08:39:22.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20457" CreationDate="2015-06-02T09:22:52.753" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bouncy castle. They're expensive but they're clean, fun, safe, the whole family can use it, and it's a good form of exercise (until you get bored with it but that shouldn't be straight away).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16549" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-02T11:24:56.907" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T11:24:56.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20494" CreationDate="2015-06-02T10:44:44.833" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are not required to have a relationship with anyone you don't want to.  Full stop.  You've made it through some rough times by working hard; you're allowed to feel what you feel towards this person, and act in whatever way is best for your mental and emotional health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you wish, you can tell B that you do not wish to have contact now via letter/email/voicemail.  Or you can just ignore the contact attempts: block the email addresses (or have them dumped directly into a junk mail folder that you then empty without reading), block the number the call is coming from or use something like Google Voice to catch and redirect it without you even having to know it's come in, things like that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many, many forums where persons who have cut off contact with a relative or parent go to vent; one that I frequent is Metafilter.  Feel free to go there and connect with others in similar situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Not that you need it, but you have the permission of this random Internet stranger to love yourself, and to cut off this person from your life.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T10:44:44.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20490" CreationDate="2015-06-02T10:55:07.587" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hunger/thirst: My cranky small humans get crankier when they're hungry or thirsty, and if I can see the clouds gathering, I can often head off the storm by offering a snack or a drink.  Have you been able to see the grumpiness coming in time to head it off at all?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Independent play: We've had success with helping our kids learn to play independently.  Our son is obsessed with trucks, so we pull out a few, get him started with some play scenarios, and then gently disengage from the play once he's gotten into it.  With our daughter, it was cars or sand; now, it's legos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exercise: I am into martial arts (muay thai and kali) and am teaching my kids some of the kali fundamentals (using a pool noodle that I cut into appropriate lengths). This gives my son the physical exercise he might need to help him take the edge off, while also giving him an outlet for the crazies (we go into the backyard when he can't focus enough to practice, and just run around with the kali &quot;sticks&quot; screaming for a bit); this is something else that hopefully he can do independently (although the screaming in the house was cut out).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, when one of mine is absolutely bananas and acting up, and they keep on pushing even after a time-out, I go for snuggles.  Sometimes just taking five minutes to pull the cranky child into my lap and snuggle them (although they sometimes struggle) and tell them how much they are loved will help them at least calm down enough to engage the frontal lobe again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T10:55:07.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20486" CreationDate="2015-06-02T10:57:21.010" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We call them &quot;prophylactic band-aids&quot; for that very reason.  We don't allow free access for them to just pull 'em out when they want one, but any time they ask for one, whether the boo-boo needs it or not, we throw one on.  Mostly, we have not had a lot of trouble with finding 'em discarded around the house, but when they do appear, a reminder to the child that the Band-Aid needs to go into the trash when it has completed its work is sufficient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T10:57:21.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20503" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20505" CreationDate="2015-06-02T11:45:34.437" Score="10" ViewCount="10489" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cultural background: my family and I live in the Midwestern US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have a five-year-old daughter who seems to have a morbid fear of 'other kids laughing at (her)'. Previously she would mention this whenever she was feeling shy, but since she's generally a sociable and out-going child I've never overly worried about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But lately it seems to impact her well-being &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; time she has to do anything in front of a crowd. She recently graduated from pre-k and the kids did a little song-and-dance routine, she just stood there with her head down. Although she's been in karate class for a year at the latest session she was very uncooperative. At church this past weekend she was happily playing with the other kids until it was time to sing their song and dance and she just stood there. Six months ago this child was belting out the Frozen soundtrack at the top of her lungs for the entertainment of the neighborhood kids. When asked about these issues she replied with her &quot;I'm shy because I'm afraid people will laugh at me' line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know where this is coming from, because to the best of my knowledge she's never been laughed at. Asking her why she thinks anyone would laugh at her when no one has done so does not yield any sort of answer (part of irrational fears is that they are just that: irrational). I can only assume that she picked it up from television where snarky dialogue and personal embarrassment are par for the course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the question title and background I just gave may indicate, I'm a little skeptical that this situation is a legitimate fear as stated by the child. Is she &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; that socially anxious in certain situations (but her usual cheery self with small groups of adults and other children)? If not what's going on? If so, how do I assuage her fears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of what I could find online about social anxiety was (unsurprisingly) geared towards teenagers with their greater emphasis on peer relationships, not five-year-olds who still more or less orbit their parent's star.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for any help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for all the great answers, wish I could accept more than one!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastEditorUserId="12008" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T13:56:58.407" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T13:56:58.407" Title="How to deal with young child's apparent fear of embarrassment" Tags="|social-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20503" CreationDate="2015-06-02T12:11:36.060" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a great question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This anxiety s interfering with your daughter's day to day life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine someone with a full blown, clincally diagnosed, phobia of, say, spiders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that saying &quot;your fear is irrational&quot; does not help them overcome their phobia.  We know that saying &quot;there is no legitimate reason to be so scared of spiders - there are not many venomous spiders here and you've never been bitten by one and you could just squish it with a book of you did see one&quot; - we know that doesn't help to overcome their fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that anxiety has physical effects on the body - muscles tense, breathing changes, palms might become sweaty. The body is preparing to run or fight.  These physical changes also affect thoughts. Thoughts affect emotion, and you end up with a cycle of thoughts and emotions making each other stronger.  You can break this cycle with a careful plan:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things that do help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) acknowledge that your child does have this fear.  See things from her point of view. Accept that for her being laughed at would be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) once she realises that you accept it's a problem for her start asking her to talk about the thoughts and emotions she feels.  When she stops herself doing something does she feel sad, angry, scared, ashamed? Ask her how strongly she feels this on a scale of one to five.  Ask her why she feels this. In her case she'll say &quot;people will laugh at me&quot;. Ask her what her evidence is for this - has she ever been laughed at; does she see other children being laughed at; does she herself laugh at other children. Allow her some time - a few moments - to sit with these feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) now start asking her what else might happen instead.  &quot;When you do something and it goes wrong will people be mean to you, or will they want to help you?&quot;; &quot;when you do something will people he pleased for you or will they laugh at you?&quot;, &quot;when you join in the song and dance will people be happy that you joined in?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) now ask her to re-asses how strongly she feels her fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) it's important to help her actually do the things she's scared of in a supportve way that sue can control. EG do these sessions before martial arts, but let her know that she can just walk out at any time.  If she tries to walk out take her some of the way ot of the situation and run through the exercises again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6) reward good behaviour; reward effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is an iterative process! You are not aiming to go from &quot;very scared&quot; to &quot;not scared at all&quot; the first time you do this! This process is a brief version of &quot;cognitive behaviour therapy&quot;; there are probably versions of this for young children. You don't need a therapist unless the problem becomes more severe - you can do this yourself from a book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young children can experience mental health problems like anxiety.  Here is some further information from reputable sources. The last two do mention anxiety in younger children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_parents/worried_about_your_child/anxiety&quot;&gt;http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_parents/worried_about_your_child/anxiety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/anxiety-in-children.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/anxiety-in-children.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/anxiety-children/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/anxiety-children/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T12:11:36.060" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20490" CreationDate="2015-06-02T14:52:14.960" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, if you aren't willing to consider corporal punishment, you are unnecessarily restricting your options. If you don't believe in it but are willing to consider it, I will present the case for it as my experience shows it to be the most effective method for raising a happy, healthy, well-behaved child while fostering a loving relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, most people opposed to corporal punishment feel that way because it makes them think of angry fathers beating their children with belts until DFS is called and the kids are taken away. That will certainly disadvantage your children and ruin your relationship with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consequently, many people have fled to the opposite extreme: only using things like timeouts or taking away privileges. I don't like these because they rely on lengths of time to be effective. Instead of spanking a child's hand for 3 seconds then forgiving them and resuming to love them and play with them, you take away their toy for 30 minutes while they mull over how mean you are for taking their toy and how mad they are at you. I see people all around me using this method and producing children that are disobedient and, more importantly, unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there is a third option: do corporal punishment right. Sooner or later, we all have to learn that pooping on the floor is not an acceptable way to handle conflict. If we wait twenty years before addressing this problem, although it may not involve any hand-swatting, it will be much more painful than if we address it decisively at one or two years old by teaching them to associate bad behavior with hand swatting. Here is a simple list of all you need to know for teaching a young child how to handle conflict:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be consistent. The first time they disobey and every time afterward&#xA;until they resume obedience, immediately swat them on the hand. If&#xA;you slack off on this, they will immediately resume misbehaving.&#xA;Every time they disobey and you don't swat their hand, you're saying&#xA;(with your actions) &quot;It's ok to disobey at least once because it&#xA;takes twice to make me punish you&quot;. You don't need to make them&#xA;scream and cry, just teach them to associate disobedience with a swat&#xA;to the hand.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be loving. Don't ever spank them if you're angry or not in control.&#xA;It is much better to be occasionally inconsistent than to turn&#xA;healthy discipline into violence. Even while your're swatting their hand, don't raise your voice, don't make angry faces at them, etc. Whenever I swat my daughter's hand, I explain to her, using my gentlest tone of voice, what she did wrong.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be forgiving. Straight away, as soon as they resume behaving,&#xA;accept them back and continue loving them, playing with them, or doing whatever you were doing before you needed to discipline them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be graceful. Sometimes my daughter takes a second to do what I ask her. Sometimes she does something that's close but not what I wanted. Sometimes she tries but doesn't quite make it. I congratulate her anyway (we've been fist-bumping lately) and don't discipline her. It's her heart that counts, not whether she perfectly replaced whatever she took that she shouldn't have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do this, I bet you will be amazed. It may take a while to sink in but, when they figure out that throwing a fit will get them a swat, they'll stop considering it. Instead of crying when you say &quot;No juice for now&quot;, they'll continue playing and laughing like before. My wife and I get compliments all the time on how sweet and well-behaved our little girl is and I am certain this is why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that doing this right is simple but not easy. Sometimes you will really not want to get up if they're misbehaving across the room. Sometimes, you may not be sure if they're disobeying or not. However, I am sure that with love, grace, and lots of conscious and deliberate effort, you can do a great job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;Although I have not tried it, I highly doubt this is an effective strategy for raising teenagers. We started doing this when my daughter began throwing fits, hitting, etc around 15-18 months. She is now 21 months and an angel. If your child is old enough to engage in logical, reflective conversation, I would highly encourage that approach first. However, as you have a three-year-old who appears to be out of control, this is what I'd suggest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6516" LastEditorUserId="6516" LastEditDate="2015-06-02T16:49:55.680" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T16:49:55.680" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20486" CreationDate="2015-06-02T15:02:03.757" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as mental health goes, I'm not an expert, but it doesn't seem like a problem to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest (3.5) occasionally does this, though we tend to discourage it just because of the cost.  Based on how he asks, it's apparent to me that the reason he wants them isn't related to being afraid of injuries or anything like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's because he likes stickers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T15:02:03.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20503" CreationDate="2015-06-02T17:09:37.620" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had that kind of fear as a child.  I didn't get over it until my late twenties.  Now I regularly play the organ or give presentations in front of hundreds of people, and not only don't fear it, I enjoy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, most children are not cruel, but they are tactless.  They do indeed laugh at mistakes, because mistakes are amusing.  Only a few bullies taunt or mock, but most all children will laugh without meaning anything by it.  The fear may be out of proportion, but it is not over something imaginary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, nothing anyone said really helped.  People know all the right platitudes, and I knew intellectually that people meant me no harm, but in the end, you just have to take courage and power through it on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I think my parents did right was not shelter me from the experience.  They gave me many opportunities to try, even though it was very hard for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I did for myself that helped was prepare and rehearse, not only for the desired outcome, but for any contingencies.  First of all, the preparation made me feel like I was less likely to make a mistake in the first place.  However, I think rehearsing what to do if things go wrong was actually more helpful.  People tend to dismiss this approach as &quot;focusing on the negative,&quot; but not knowing what to do is more scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still do this when I prepare for a presentation, even though they no longer scare me.  I ask myself what will I do if my opening joke bombs?  What if my demo has a bug?  I try to anticipate the different questions and criticisms I might get, and what to do if I get a question I didn't expect.  Often, I can roll these answers back into my presentation preemptively, which improves its quality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a choir teacher who took this approach of teaching a strategy for when things go wrong.  He instructed his students if they ever forgot the lyrics, just pretend to sing while silently mouthing the word &quot;watermelon&quot; until you remember again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So with your daughter, I would stop trying to convince her no one will laugh.  That won't work.  I would ask her what she could do to help in case someone does laugh, and practice.  Plug her ears, give a practiced scowl, close her eyes, sing louder, look at her parents, laugh back, or whatever works for her.  For something like karate, rehearse what to do if she forgets her routine.  Hold the previous position until you remember, or perhaps end early and do your bow.  The point is to have a strategy, something to focus on besides your fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T17:09:37.620" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20503" CreationDate="2015-06-02T17:28:04.020" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like what Karl said in his answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;First of all, most children are not cruel, but they are tactless. They do indeed laugh at mistakes, because mistakes are amusing. ...most all children will laugh without meaning anything by it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try asking your daughter &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; the other kids would laugh if she made a mistake.  She'll probably give a fairly good reason.  Then ask if she would laugh if she saw one of &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; friends making a mistake.  She probably would, and she probably wouldn't mean to hurt her friend's feelings by it; it's just what kids do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she understands that part, then you can deploy possibly the most effective anti-fear weapon there is: laughter, ironically enough.  &lt;strong&gt;It's very hard to laugh at something and be afraid of it at the same time.&lt;/strong&gt;  So teach her to laugh at her own mistakes first, and beat the other kids to it, because if she's laughing first and then the other kids laugh too, they're laughing with her instead of at her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="475" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T17:28:04.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2165" CreationDate="2015-06-02T19:19:51.093" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;OK. Every baby is different. However..I found out an easier way to burb baby is after feeding bottle or breast. I sit him up get as much burbs as I can. Then lie him down (on his back) till he starts to whinge or get agitated then bring him up for another burb.and in between times lying him down I talk and play and sing to him (that gives us bonding time as well) so I keep doing repeatedly till all burbs come out. Sometimes you might a but of spit out. But this is a trick I've learned from experience and my midwife also confirmed it &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16567" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T19:19:51.093" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20486" CreationDate="2015-06-02T19:59:14.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only downside is the cost of the bandaids.  The child wants the attention of getting the bandaid placed on them.  While my suggestion may not be consistent with others, I suggest showing him where they are and letting him put them on himself.  Eventually he we tire from the excursion as well as not getting the attention he desires.  I'm more of a &quot;go ahead and get it out of your system&quot; parent.  If you want to jump in the puddle, go ahead, but you're walking in wet clothes.  Children are people and they will generally become more efficient - which means they won't want to walk around with wet clothes, or stop playing long enough to put on bandaids if they have to do it themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2382" LastEditorUserId="2382" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T13:48:56.943" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T13:48:56.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18268" CreationDate="2015-06-02T20:39:29.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (12) gives me reason for head scratching on a daily basis. My mind goes from hormones to bullying, to drugs or abuse. I also have a 22 yr old son. People are SO different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there has not been a diagnosis of ODD or any mental challenge, I suggest the reminder of: They mirror our reaction. It's so hard to stay calm, I've wanted to strangle mine!! But they are really just trying to get through life. My son can't stand me right now. Sometimes I think the parents who don't give a sh-- seem to have better behaved kids! Although mine is an angel for everyone else!!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deep breath, hide behind a closet door, wait till you are calm, then say, &quot;if you want or need to talk, I'm here. I'm always on your team.&quot; Praise in public, punish in private.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This age is such a challenge!! I don't mean to diminish the pain and frustration it causes with a few ideas, I've nearly contemplated divorce or suicide over it. The feeling of failure is overwhelming. Talk to anyone you can, truthfully. Guilt is pointless. Where do you go from here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16573" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T11:25:38.413" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T11:25:38.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20514" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20515" CreationDate="2015-06-02T20:46:59.843" Score="4" ViewCount="316" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is approximately 2 months old, and he has problems sleeping at night (he cries like any other baby).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is about letting him cry while he's on my chest or in my arms while I give him kisses and petting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking for info on the Net, I've found many sites about babies where they state that some babies need to cry to free their stress, meaning that letting them cry with love isn't unhealthy at all, and it's even worse trying to prevent them from crying as they're unable to express their emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is that while my son cries for 5-10 minutes and then he finally sleeps, it could be just that it's the way my son tries to express &quot;&lt;em&gt;I'm very tired and I don't understand what's going on...&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;What's the current recommendation by most pediatricians about this topic?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Update&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to note that I'm not trying to say I want to leave my baby crying alone. It's not about this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, it's about baby crying when they're about to sleep and even when you've tried to answer to all baby's needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After all, I'm looking for opinions/info about this concrete babies' behavior. &lt;em&gt;He cries because the day ends&lt;/em&gt; (and he has received a lot of emotions, information and knowledge, and he simply got stressed...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16572" LastEditorUserId="16572" LastEditDate="2015-06-02T22:08:39.117" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T22:21:30.680" Title="Is crying healthy for babies when they get our companionship?" Tags="|sleep|health|crying|mental-health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20514" CreationDate="2015-06-02T20:58:37.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a child under 6 months old cries it's usually to tell us that they need something.  They are telling that they're hungry, or cold, or want a cuddle, or in pain.  When a child under 6 months cries you probably want to address the problem - change a nappy or provide a feed or do some winding to relieve trapped air or just have a nice cuddle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is an exception. Some babies cry and there isn't a reason.  This is very hard for parents. There are support groups to help with this.  This crying is called &quot;colic&quot;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Colic/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Colic/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt; (Some people also use the term colic to refer to babies with a lot of trapped wind.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably should not leave a child under six months to cry. For example: some sleep training systems must not be started until the child is over 6 months.  It's important to help your child learn how to fall asleep without being rocked to sleep, but cuddling them if they're crying is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-06-02T22:21:30.680" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T22:21:30.680" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20490" CreationDate="2015-06-02T21:20:44.967" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine had a similar problem.  His seven year old boy was completely out of control.  His tantrums were volcanic, and completely manipulative.  They were terrified to go out in public because he would throw things at random strangers and break things just to get back at them for restricting him in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A counselor who he went to see with his wife took him through a rather radical treatment.  They removed everything from their son's room; books, toys, clothing, bed.  (I don't remember whether this happened all at once or incrementally, for example, if he destroyed a toy or defaced his bed it was removed).  He was left with an extremely bare (and, incidentally, easier to clean) room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then his son had to earn everything back.  After a day of good behavior they would return one object to his room.  At first they chose which object it was, then he was allowed to choose.  Any significant misbehavior lost him the last thing he had earned.  At least once that I know of they had to start at ground zero again.  It was terribly draining for them, but I think the feeling that they at least had a path to recovery made it less draining than feeling like there was nothing they could do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It all paid off.  Their son is reasonably well behaved now.  The occasional temper tantrum doesn't get much past scowling and the occasional stomp-off-to-his-room.  No more breakage or cursing or screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish I could remember the name of this form of therapy (anyone ever heard of it before?)  Not sure if it would work for you, but don't try it just on a whim.  You have to be totally committed and prepared to ride out what is going to be a very difficult and long-term process.  I doubt they would have made it without the strong support of their counselor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T21:20:44.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20487" CreationDate="2015-06-02T21:37:18.823" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I come from a fairly large family and each (formerly) youngest child had to go through a period of adjustment when the arrival of a new baby meant that they were no longer &quot;the baby&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the ages of the children I'm guessing reasons 1 and 3 are more likely.  Unless the older sister routinely plays &quot;too rough&quot; with everything.  One thing that my mom did that seemed to help is when she would try to engage the help of the second youngest when she was caring for the baby.  Since the baby (necessarily) got the most attention, allowing the youngest to share in this precious commodity (Mom's attention) makes the older sibling see the younger as the source of something positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if your two year old can't actually be useful, giving her the impression that she is will help her to feel your approval.  Let her rub soap on the baby during a bath.  Instruct her on how to shake powder onto the baby's bottom and explaining how it helps.  Let her carry the wet diaper to the diaper pail.  She can help select what baby food to feed at mealtimes, and let her be the one to take baby items off the shelf and put them in the cart when shopping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also gives the older child a sense of ownership, and therefore, responsibility.  Mom would refer to the baby as &quot;your baby&quot; and in public &quot;our baby&quot;, which made the older sibling feel proud and grown-up.  Often, an older child sees the benefits in being the baby but none yet in being the Big Sis.  If you can show her what those benefits are, she will develop protective instincts for her wee sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-06-02T21:37:18.823" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20456" CreationDate="2015-06-02T23:42:08.950" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what part of the world you are in; I live in California. I immigrated from South Africa but have Southern European cultural background. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids should be taught to abstain from sex until they are adults and in a monogamous (marriage) relationship. I don't buy the argument that teenagers are &quot;going to do it anyway, so let's give them contraceptives&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids should be given healthy, age-appropriate education about the biological function of sex but also the spiritual aspects. Sex is a beautiful expression of love, a gift that is to be shared between marriage partners. When they see it in this context, they will want to wait.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16578" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-07T00:16:36.370" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T00:16:36.370" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20525" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-03T12:56:45.373" Score="2" ViewCount="252" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 18MO toddler is very active. When she's not running, she's walking, and when she's not walking, she's picking things up, and otherwise she's climbing, sitting on stuff and standing up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What tricks can you use or what activities can you come up with to make a toddler stay in one place for a longer while? Or at least be immersive enough to keep the child in one room in more or less the same place?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T13:00:54.830" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T19:04:51.557" Title="Tricks / acitivities to make a toddler stay in one place for a while" Tags="|toddler|activities|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-06-03T13:00:09.420" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20525" CreationDate="2015-06-03T12:56:45.373" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The obvious ones which sometimes work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sorters&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;puzzles&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;counting things&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a bowl of water and containers (outdoors and on warm/hot days only)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T12:56:45.373" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-06-03T13:00:09.420" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20527" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20534" CreationDate="2015-06-03T12:59:44.123" Score="4" ViewCount="380" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a parent, nor will I be for a few years at least, but I am certain that I will be one day. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I have some personal demons that I'm struggling to resolve at the moment, which have had an impact on my outlook on many aspects of life. As well as this, I already had a generally cynical and pessimistic personality. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In the scenario where I now have a child, I appreciate that my own opinions and attitudes may not be the most constructive ones to pass onto said child.&lt;br&gt; I believe that a certain level of skepticism is important, as it helps to build critical thinking and encourages the formation of one's &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; opinions rather than following the herd. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;However&lt;/strong&gt;, I am aware that I can sometimes go overboard. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;My personal opinions may conflict with those of most other parents on certain issues, but I do not want to be one of those embarrassing parents who kick up a stink and dominate school council meetings and the like, as that can be damaging to a child. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;How can I encourage my child to healthily question things, and think for themselves, whilst discouraging outright pessimism? &lt;br&gt;Should I sometimes withhold my true beliefs about a topic when my child asks, and give them the 'proper, parenty' answers? Or should I be honest in the hope that my child will develop a healthy balance on their own? &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Any help is appreciated, and this is my first question, so feel free to edit/migrate this however you see fit! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16587" LastEditorUserId="16587" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T14:27:28.783" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T00:01:21.880" Title="How to encourage healthy skepticism, whilst discouraging pessimism?" Tags="|development|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20528" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20531" CreationDate="2015-06-03T13:00:21.930" Score="10" ViewCount="508" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even before our child was born we were told that newborns and infants should sleep on a flat mattress. No one, however, told us when to introduce a pillow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When can and/or should children start sleeping on pillows?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-23T14:39:20.337" LastActivityDate="2019-03-23T14:39:20.337" Title="When can/should children start sleeping on pillows?" Tags="|sleep|health|age-appropriate|bedroom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20486" CreationDate="2015-06-03T13:45:29.893" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The band-aid issue is not uncommon, and may have several possible causes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child &lt;strong&gt;associates band-aid with healing&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, it's a placebo. As such, you can - and should, for consistency's sake - deal with it exactly as you would deal with &lt;strong&gt;any placebo issue&lt;/strong&gt; (as to how you deal with those, it's somewhat offtopic and largely subjective IMHO, so I won't offer advice).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that your &quot;&lt;em&gt;given his young age, this is unlikely to last&lt;/em&gt;&quot; consideration may not necessarily hold up - there's plenty of full grown adults demanding (and some getting) antibiotics from doctors for viral infections. &lt;sub&gt;(And any Skeptics.SE adherend is more likely than not going to lump homeopathy into the same bucket)&lt;/sub&gt;. Humans are naturally drawn to placebos - and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/science/2010/dec/22/placebo-effect-patients-sham-drug&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;there are medical studies&lt;/a&gt; (esp &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24736295&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;) indicating that indulging placebo wish is beneficial, assuming the placebo isn't used to avoid real treatment when those are needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An interesting way of handling this is trying to substitute band-aid with &quot;magic mama/papa kiss&quot; - worked for us even with older children who clearly know there's no kissing magic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Somewhat related (and included) in placebo effect - the child benefits from &quot;&lt;strong&gt;I got to do something&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, it's not simply that they think that the band-aid will help - they get more mental/emotional relief from the fact that THEY are the ones taking the action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is clearly the case if your child is happier if you let them help do the band-aiding (strip the covers, or apply).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As above, how you handle it should be consistent with other similar issues; but personally, I view it as a major benefit, to teach the child to be self-reliant and feel better about attacking and solving their issues.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child &lt;strong&gt;likes the design&lt;/strong&gt; - assuming the band-aids are child-branded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one point, we had a 100% major correllation between the insistence on band-aids, and whether they were generic CVS band-aids vs. cartoon-themed band-aids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution to that can be either (a) don't buy cartoon-themed band-aids; or (b) institute an inviolate rule that the latter only are allowed for &quot;real need&quot; situation - e.g. skin damage+blood. All other boo-boos get generic store brand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This tactics also solves one of the biggest problems associated with band-aid obsession - money waste. Store brand (or Amazon) in bulk can cost 2-4x cheaper, if not more.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child &lt;strong&gt;doesn't want to see the boo-boo&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cases, this is as simple as a child being averse to the sight of blood or damage (ours was very much like that) and thus band-aid isn't there for &quot;medicinal&quot; purposes but for cosmetic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's the case, offer non-bandaid replacement - gause, or tie a handkerchief if the location allows.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T13:51:21.043" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T13:51:21.043" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20528" CreationDate="2015-06-03T14:28:57.873" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't been able to find anything remotely official (e.g. NIH study), but found this so far:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;John Pearce and Jane Bidder, authors of &quot;Baby and Toddler Sleep Program: How to Get Your Child to Sleep,&quot; warn parents to wait as long as possible to introduce a pillow, preferably until a toddler reaches 18 months of age or later. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/179846-toddler-pillow-safety/&quot;&gt;src&lt;/a&gt;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main reason to delay is the risk of suffocation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newkidscenter.com/When-Can-Toddlers-Sleep-With-A-Pillow.html&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;According to AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), it is still not clear on when it is safe to give a baby her/his own pillow. Even so, some experts seem to agree that the safest time is when your child is one year old. When a child is twelve months old, the risk of suffocation reduces considerably. However, if your child is still sleeping in a crib, remove all objects that may cause suffocation. The pillow should be small, firm and flat like the ones given on airplanes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that while the source referenced AAP, I wasn't able to find AAP recommendation directly yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2015-06-03T15:18:10.157" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T15:18:10.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20487" CreationDate="2015-06-03T17:19:06.577" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of things you can do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Older kid wants attention / Jealousy&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This first thing worked pretty well for us with a 2.5 year old big brother. Whenever he did something to the baby that was too rough, we showered attention on the baby, and ignored him. Then we sometimes gave him a timeout. But the key was that he did not get immediate attention from being rough with the baby. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure to take some time to do things one-on-one with the older sibling. when the baby sleeps, or even just mom or dad going with each separate kid. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make her take 'ownership' of the baby. Our oldest was reinforced in the thinking that the baby was 'his baby'. When he was a little older, we went to 'your little brother', but in the beginning it was helpful that he felt the baby was his, and something he could show off and talk about in pre-school. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if you older kid is in daycare/preschool, and it might not be something you can change, but for completeness sake: It was very helpful that our older one already was in a program, and kept going there. It was something that didn't change, when everything else changed, and somewhere where he got the exact same amount of attention as he did before his brother was born. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Older kid doesn't know how to play&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Show her safe things she can do. Help her play with he sister, give her (soft) rattles to show her. Agree with the recommendation of helping clothe and bathe her, though 2 might be a little young.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep telling what you can and cannot do. Our rule that eventually made sense was that 'biggest on bottom'. Meaning the kids can sit on dad, but dad cannot sit on them. Big brother cannot sit on little brother, but little brother can sit on big brother. 'If you want to wrestle, remember little brother goes on top'. ('wrestling' as such might be more relevant in 6 months or so).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Separate them when the oldest does not understand how she can play, or is too rough. We used a movable baby gate and split up the house in two. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;talk to her about how good she is at using her words, and make her realize the baby doesn't have words to say 'no'. Some leading questions to make her stop and think might help, it helped us (and still does at 4 &amp;amp; 2!)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other ideas&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her pick out new toys for the baby and her self. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure she has some say in what happens to her (like choice of cereal) and emphasize it is because she is a 'big girl'&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T17:19:06.577" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20527" CreationDate="2015-06-03T17:51:37.007" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a valid concern, and it's admirable that you're honest enough to admit that the degree with which you feel negatively about things is not necessarily the best outlook.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you've noted, critical thinking is different from pessimism/cynicism. If you want to keep the latter out of your child's thinking, you'll need to keep your &lt;em&gt;judgements&lt;/em&gt; to yourself. It is entirely possible. Sharing your &lt;em&gt;judgements&lt;/em&gt; is teaching moral principles. That's different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, when my kids were little, we watched television (there weren't as many options as nowadays). Breaking down advertisements is a good start to teaching critical thinking. Beer is a the big-budget advertiser, so we started on beer commercials (before they could read). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A (very) cynical outlook might be (exaggerated for emphasis): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;the world/this country/the West sucks. The only thing that matters is money, and the only thing people are good for is spending it. Like this beer commercial. They portray people as happy because they're buying beer, like beer will cure society's ills. According to this ad, the homeless would have wonderful lives if only they could buy beer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A non-cynical approach needs to leave the judgements out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What is happening in this advertisement? The &quot;star&quot; appears in the most scenes, and the action centers around the star. Who is the &quot;star&quot; of this ad? (E.g. ans.: the girls) Is that true? let's count the scenes with the girls. Next time we'll count the scenes with the beer. (Eventually) The kids start seeing marketing trends - using friendship, sex, happiness, adventure, etc. to sell products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latter approach allows kids to come to their own conclusions. That's what critical thinking is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;If you think you might have a problem with &lt;em&gt;judgmentalism&lt;/em&gt;, I highly recommend this exercise. Wherever you feel the most negativity about your cynisicm (as far as is practical) - for example, while watching commercials, or reading the news - have a notebook ready. Then write, describing what you're seeing/reading in completely neutral or exact terms. Keep doing it until it's not a struggle to find neutral terms, until it's not reflexive to label things with judgmental terms. It's a remarkably freeing lesson to learn that you don't need to &quot;judge&quot; everything.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T17:51:37.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20527" CreationDate="2015-06-03T17:56:17.263" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two parts to your question.  First, you are concerned about passing the pessimism and negative side of your personality.  On that, I would say that passing on our personality to our kids is inevitable.  At least some of it will rub off.  I cringe when I see some of my bad habits and character traits in my kids.  But it can be minimized, and for that there are two important things that come to mind.  First, we must strive hard to do away with those parts of our character we do not want to pass on.  It is not enough to want our kids not to have those bad qualities, we also must seek to put them away.  Second, be honest with your kids; lay it all out.  Openly acknowledge your shortcomings (within measure), and share your struggles with them, and share your hope that they will do better in those areas than you have.  I have done this with my kids, and it is amazing to see how they are far better persons than I was at their ages.  And I see them returning the favor - sharing their own struggles with me.  It is amazing to me that my best friends, apart from my wife, are my teenage kids.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;The second part of your concern is on teaching critical thinking.  I love that.  There is so much mindless crowd following in our cultures.  I do not know that there is any amount of questioning that is too much.  There are two things here also that come to mind as being important in shaping our critical examination of the world and ideas around us.  First, we must retain a humble attitude.  Question everything, but do so with&lt;strong&gt;out&lt;/strong&gt; an attitude that we are the ultimate judge of truth, even for ourselves.  Question relentlessly, but without a demanding attitude, rather being content to wait on answers or even willing to let some issues go.  Second, we must have a basis for deciding what is a right or wrong answer - there must be a foundation.  Without answers or the hope of answers, questioning is just futility.  Hope is as essential to the growth of our character (and that of our kids) as breath and nourishment are essential to the sustenance of our bodies.  We, and our kids, must have a real reason, a foundation that gives us hope that our questions will not go unanswered forever and that those answers will fulfill.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I hear you about your personal demons.  I hope and pray they do not come from pain inflicted by loved ones.  But even if they do, I can tell you from personal experience that there is hope for overcoming those demons.  Good can come even out of the most evil moments.  I pray and hope with you for a future in which you will look at your kids and remember this struggle as a turning point that led onwards and upwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-06-03T17:56:17.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20527" CreationDate="2015-06-03T21:36:49.477" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am very much a skeptic - in the true 'scientific method' meaning. Skeptical of everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also, apparently, the most optimistic and positive person in my group of friends and acquaintances. To me the world is generally a good place, and the majority of people are good to each other, themselves and the environment. I feel a large number of people who are pessimistic about the world these days are those who don't extrapolate correctly from the media. A newspaper's job is to sell itself - so hyping anything bad is a winning strategy for them. And psychologically, we are built to extrapolate from our local knowledge to the world at large - and we tend to interpret the media as 'local'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my view, skepticism and optimism/pessimism are orthogonal and don't need to have any relationship with each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my approach is to help my children see that the media view is not real - interestingly, once you take that out of the mix, it is very easy to focus on the positive elements of life. So I'm very glad that my kids seem as optimistic as me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the few areas where i do have pessimism (yes, there are a few) it is very easy to avoid passing on that view to the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-06-04T07:25:42.307" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T07:25:42.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20527" CreationDate="2015-06-04T00:31:35.550" Score="4" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Honest, but not secretive.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child &lt;em&gt;asks&lt;/em&gt; for your opinion, give it.  And also give the context, and what other people think.  Giving an amount of information that indicates you expect your child to take your word as &lt;em&gt;opinion&lt;/em&gt; rather than &lt;em&gt;gospel&lt;/em&gt; will do far more to develop critical thinking skills than handing books and sermons on the type of sceptical thinking you have and use.  It is perfectly possible for an individual to avoid thinking and instead &lt;em&gt;believe&lt;/em&gt; in any thing at all - science, religion, scepticism, traditional values, sports, 'nature', etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sole thing that will avoid that is treating them as intelligent and giving them answers as you would to someone you respect, which requires both &lt;strong&gt;brevity&lt;/strong&gt; to convey more information than a single opinion in a non-long-winded way, and &lt;strong&gt;wit&lt;/strong&gt; to judge what the person will understand and what will give them the context to &lt;em&gt;understand&lt;/em&gt; rather than simply later &lt;em&gt;regurgitate&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very best teachers have these skills down pat - developing them is something you can start doing now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the key part is to simply treat the child as intelligent, and be honest - that will serve better in resulting in an intelligent, critically-thinking individual (who is not necessarily going to be pessimistic - that tends to vary by individual).  Not, though, going out of your way to attempt to inculcate some specific viewpoint unasked, or obvious attempts to 'shape' the child to some specific objective or mode of thought.  Respect is typically the thing that garners the best level both of attention and intellectual advancement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16600" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T00:31:35.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3403" CreationDate="2015-06-04T00:58:40.697" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are multiple ways of dealing with it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) I agree with KASDEGA, that is what exactly what my dad with me and he told me whenever I decide to quit ask him for help. It didn't made me quit smoking immediately, but it made me feel that how disappointed he was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) My mother on the other side tried to educate me by asking &quot;Have you calculated what is this habit costing me in terms of money?&quot; While I was not money conscious when I was a teenager, but a couple of years later, I realised that the habit was affecting my productivity with my studies. After smoking for 6 years I quit smoking for good. If he is hardworking then educate him how it affects productivity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) If he is scared of poor health, take him to place they educate on consequences of smoking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) If he is money conscious then educate him about how it is affecting or will affect his pockets. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) If he is a sports person, educate him how this habit eats up his stamina. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents always expressed their concern about my smoking, sometimes I rebelled because it annoyed me but one day I realised that I should quit.It is been 15 years I quit but I still remember their role in educating me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not only going to bother you but it will a big challenge for your son to quit smoking too. So be patient and show empathy. From my experience, patience and support you provide to your dependent son will be the key.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T00:58:40.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20400" CreationDate="2015-06-04T05:12:22.800" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, she is only 2 years old, so I personally think you should let her learn the language she is comfortable with. Because kids under 5 years can learn 3-4 languages effortlessly. Or Alternatively, you could send her to child care centre where they speak only English. At some stage kids generally learn the native language fluently as they grow.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your mother tongue is English or you are fluent in English and always speak in English when with friends and relatives and try to  always play English channel programs on TV ( as she begins to watch TV Programs).Then you will be able to teach her English with less effort on your part and as she matures she might learn to speak in English as well. That's what I did with my child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, If your mother tonguei or you speak  in Hindi with your friends and family, then I think you should send her to a day care centre where they speak English. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastEditorUserId="16247" LastEditDate="2015-06-04T08:41:26.753" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T08:41:26.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20543" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="36048" CreationDate="2015-06-04T09:17:10.117" Score="5" ViewCount="1074" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2-year-old toddler who is happy going and social.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our maid's 10 year old son came with her and sat in the drawing room. Toddler was playing nearby. I told her to say hello to the boy and play with him. She agreed happily after being told the same a second time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She started pointing to him and saying &quot;Bhaiya&quot; (referred to a male elder to you but younger than your father), &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;repeatedly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. He didn't respond.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She kept on showing him her toys. He didn't respond.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She wanted him to come over the other room to show (introduce) him to me. So, she &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;repeatedly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; said &quot;Bhaiya come&quot; to him, and kept on running back and forth to him to see if he's coming or not. He didn't respond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was observing all this from the other room. &#xA;On seeing the plight of my daughter, I jumped in the scene and started talking to her and paying attention to her so that she wouldn't feel ignored.&#xA;I told her to pick up certain toy and show it to the boy which she did. Boy responded by just holding the toy. I kept on continuously responding to the toddler so that she didn't feel that she was talking to walls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The daughter started crying when the boy left.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The boy is a villager and was shy. He is not to be blamed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question here is that in such situations should I:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;pretend to be deaf and blind and let the toddler learn the lesson that everyone may not be friendly towards her even if she is towards them?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;jump in the situation to heal the toddler's hurt feelings?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Clarification:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not very keen on knowing how to deal with that boy or how to start a communication with that boy and my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reason is that that boy was just one case. There can be cases where the person with whom my toddler wants to interact may not be interested in interacting either because they are tired or they are busy or they are not interested or shy or uncomfortable or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her father is usually busy in scrolling Twitter. He doesn't respond before the child yells at him minimum 4 times. Even when he responds, he says &quot;Haaan&quot; and continues scrolling Twitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Creating an interest in the other person is not my problem, I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need to know how to deal with my child, not with the other person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-09T12:30:22.960" LastActivityDate="2019-04-09T12:30:22.960" Title="Toddler is ignored by other person/child. Should I let her learn the lesson or should I step in and entertain her?" Tags="|toddler|social-development|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20528" CreationDate="2015-06-04T09:33:47.067" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It they are ok with the crib bed set so there is no need of a pillow for the kids under 2. It will be suffocation for the kids while using it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you would like to use the pillow for the LO so you need to wait till they move from the crib to bed. orelse you can use a small pillow while he is still using the crib. So you have to be aware that you should be away from using the feather pillows. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T09:33:47.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20496" CreationDate="2015-06-04T09:50:51.887" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need make sure that your kid show avoid doing multi-tasking like. It ensure that we cannot concentrate on one single task at hand when we have a lot of tasks lying in front of kids. As most of the kids will be doing different task while studying like watching tv, or playing with things. So kids will be able to concentrate on one. Its better to avoid this kind of things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breaking up the study sessions he/she will not be able to concentrate for a long time in the studies. Its better to have a break while studying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other and important thing you need to do is you need to keep them away from sugar. You have to check the diet that he is taking for sugar content. Most of the times kids will have lot of sugar in their food they have, it results to sugar rush. It is nothing but the excessive sugar in their bloodstream that makes them hyperactive because of that he/she will not able to concentrate of one thing at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here you check out the activities &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kimscounselingcorner.com/2014/06/11/activities-improve-focus-attention/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.kimscounselingcorner.com/2014/06/11/activities-improve-focus-attention/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T09:50:51.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="770" CreationDate="2015-06-04T10:15:03.483" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Normally everyone will start the solids food when the kid is around 6th month. It is the right time to start the food. I would like to share that you can start with the sweet potato it has to be smooth so that LO should have any difficult while having it. And you can give cereal rice(paste or grid it) smoothly. I think you can start with the  single grain cereals as it is introduced first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As most of the pediatricians will recommend you starting vegetables before fruits but there is no evidence that you kid will be develop a dislike for vegetables if fruit is given first. &lt;a href=&quot;http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/5727/solid_foods_should_fruits_or&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/5727/solid_foods_should_fruits_or&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can add breast milk with the cereals whichever type of cereal you use and  make sure that it has to be made for babies and iron-fortified. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I was searching for a babys food details I had read an article in this about the baby food chart. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/essential-tips-to-follow-for-your-babys-food-chart_0080607/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/essential-tips-to-follow-for-your-babys-food-chart_0080607/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this it has shared every thing from the 1st to 12th month step by step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastEditorUserId="13178" LastEditDate="2016-08-12T06:46:45.230" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T06:46:45.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20543" CreationDate="2015-06-04T10:44:24.040" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a reason you cannot combine the two approaches?  It sounds like your ultimate goal is to raise a happy, well-adjusted child who can interact with many different people in different situations (to which I say YAY).  In this case, especially considering you're dealing with a 2-year-old, I'd suggest trying to bridge the gap between your two scenarios.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step in and facilitate communication between the two children.  As it sounds like he was closing himself off as much as possible, maybe try to help him get out of his shell a bit by sitting with him and explaining what the toddler wants and why she's asking him to play with her; very few of us humans don't like to be needed and wanted.  Ask him what YOU can do to help him feel more comfortable (he might not know).  If he's still not interacting, explain to her why he's not playing with her (&quot;Bhaiya is new to our house and feels a bit shy; maybe we could play with the toy with him instead?  Or maybe you could share another toy?&quot;) so he can hear YOU interceding on his behalf and trying to find ways to help him feel comfortable in this environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when/if he leaves and your child is disappointed, take a few minutes to remind her of how kind and welcoming she was, what a good job she did sharing, and how she tried her best to make him feel better.  At two, their brains are growing and learning so much that it might not seem to make an impact, but your repeated lessons about understanding how others are feeling and finding different ways to interact with them are going to become part of who she is, hopefully leading to the empathetic, engaging adult you're raising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit based on clarification:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea here is not to teach her how to interact with this one particular person, but to use situations such as the one presented to model the behavior you want her to emulate.  If you want her to try to empathize with someone who is uncomfortable in an environment where she has more comfort, engage with her to find different ways to increase the comfort of the person.  If you want her to learn how to handle disappointment when someone rebuffs her advances, talk with her about how sometimes  people don't want to participate with her play, and help her find ways to deal with her disappointment (I have a 'hugger,' and she's learned both to ask before she hugs, and how to handle the disappointment when someone refuses her request, and is getting much better at handling disappointment in other areas of her life as a result.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2015-06-08T11:04:38.787" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T11:04:38.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20494" CreationDate="2015-06-04T11:47:27.993" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people have really awful experiences of their parents, ranging from criminal levels of abuse through to mild misunderstanding, but most people just don't understand that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this situation you've clearly said that you have no wish to get back in contact with your father.  That will be hard for him to hear and to live with, but that's a problem for him to sort out.  He does need to respect your wishes.  You could write a short but clear, firm, note telling him that you have no wish to re-open contact with him and asking him to stop trying to communicate with you.  You don't need to give any explanation.  (This note would be at most an A5 (half a letter size) page.)  If he continues to make attempts to contact you there are technical measure that you can take - block his number, for example, and eventually legal measures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Hi,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please stop trying to contact me.  I really do not want to try to regain any kind of relationship with you.  You can send stuff to {someone you trust, eg your mother?} but I am unlikely to ever read it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will be likely to view any further attempt to contact me as harassment.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sign it and date it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This step will help if you do ever need to get court orders to stop contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be difficult for other people to understand this.  So you might want to develop a short phrase to stop the conversation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Them: &quot;Hey, you really should at least try to talk to your dad&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You: &quot;Well, I went through a lot of bad stuff because of him.  I'm okay now, but it was lousy at the time, and thanks for the concern but I really don't want to talk about it. Now, how about them {SportsTeam}?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This lets them know that it's severe, that you're fine now, it gives them thanks for asking (which helps lessen the sting a bit) and diverts them.  It's modified from words that people with visible disabilities sometimes use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are support groups for people who deal with abusive parents and you may like to see if they have any relevant information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T11:47:27.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20549" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20550" CreationDate="2015-06-04T12:27:49.210" Score="58" ViewCount="14912" Body="&lt;p&gt;Literally.  Sometimes he will ascribe himself properties I have, and make me the child--he'll say &quot;I'm a grown-up&quot;, &quot;You can't sit in the front seat [in our car], it's not safe, I have to sit in the front seat, you have to sit in the back seat.&quot;   &quot;This is my office.  Sorry you can't come in I have work to do.&quot;  That's cute perhaps but other times he will say &quot;My name is [Eric's Dad]&quot;.  Last night, he told me that his name was [Eric's Dad] and that he had a four-year-old baby named Eric, who was crying.  Eric himself had been earlier.  So he is in some way projecting himself onto me.  Is this indicative of any kind of dissociative issues?  Or is it just 'cute'?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16607" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T14:24:28.547" Title="My 4-year-old refers to himself as me" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|crying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20549" CreationDate="2015-06-04T12:59:19.273" Score="108" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids that age learn a &lt;strong&gt;lot&lt;/strong&gt; by imaginative play. It's how they make sense of the world and experiment with different responses to events. Pretending to be an adult is very common.&#xA;Playing along is a good opportunity to show empathy and teach better responses. You might say, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm Eric. I'm sad because I couldn't find my toy. I wonder if I should cry or ask my dad to help me find it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is how kids open up to you. Take advantage of it while it's still relatively easy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T12:59:19.273" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20551" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-04T13:12:48.510" Score="10" ViewCount="20640" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 34 month-old boy. His father and I have been separated for a year, and my son lives half the time with his father and half the time with me and my partner, with whom I'm expecting another baby. We are regularizing our situation through advocates and we've already had our &quot;precautionary measures&quot;, which state that the mother gets to see the kid two days, then the father two days, then the mother five days, and the father five days, and then we start over with two days, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is my son hasn't been sleeping well (at all?) for about 10 months. When the kid stays with his father, he tells me he sleeps all night. When he stays with my mother, they tell me he also sleeps all night. But when he stays with me, he doesn't sleep. It takes about 45 minutes every night for him to fall asleep, and I need to lie with him so that he can fall asleep. He (unconsciously) moves, he flinches, he kicks, and it looks like he wants to fall asleep but can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes to bed everyday at 8 or 9, and at 1 o'clock he wakes up and comes to my bedroom saying he wants to sleep in my bed. I return him to his bed, stay until he falls asleep, and at 2 he comes again. And so on, for about 4-5 times each night. And most of those times it takes him from 30 minutes to 1 hour to fall asleep again, because he can't stop moving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's with me, it's all the time mama this, mama that, mama come here. My mother says the issue is he wants to spend more time with me when we're together, and that he wakes up repetitively to check I'm there. When I return him to his father, he cries and cries, saying he doesn't want to go, although I know that he's ok when he's with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help my son with this? I've tried everything. I've put him in my bed but he just moves and moves until he falls asleep and then keeps waking up a thousand times during the night. He says he hates sleeping, and he's anxious to wake up when it's light outside. Is he just a nervous child and has a hard time falling asleep? Or is there a deeper psychological issue? I am quite sure if he were with me all the time, he would sleep all night, but of course I can't do that. I no longer know what to do so that we all can have some rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16613" LastActivityDate="2023-06-22T22:26:30.463" Title="Why does my 2.5 son not sleep at all when he's with me, but sleeps all night with his father? (We're divorced)" Tags="|toddler|sleep|cosleeping|divorce|sleep-deprivation|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20549" CreationDate="2015-06-04T13:13:06.830" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;It tells just how much he sees you as role model. Instead of seeing this as abnormal you should be the role model he deserves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that do understand that this behaviour will stop after some time. You only need to worry if this does not stop and causes complications.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope I helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S.: When I was a child I used to wear my father's army uniform. It made me feel grownup just like him. Now that I am older I feel different but I just want you to know that this is stage all children go through so don't worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16612" LastEditorUserId="16612" LastEditDate="2015-06-04T13:22:22.130" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T13:22:22.130" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20553" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-04T13:18:12.160" Score="-4" ViewCount="548" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read in a book and have heard this argument by many social scientists that Fatherhood was an invention by humans during the time when we first started living as societies. This was presumably in order to strengthen the grip of males on human society and provide patriarchy a stable foundation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not seem to agree with this. As a male aged 15 I have strong urges to become a father and really love children. If fatherhood is unnatural and not a product of our evolution how is it possible that males have an urge to father children and feel a strong, genuine love for their offspring?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The argument that Fatherhood is rarely found in the animal world as it is primarily the mother who rares and cares for children is valid, but then again human beings are so much different in other respects from animals, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it then not possible that the love a human father feels for his offspring is just as natural as the love a human mother feels for her offspring?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is one research I found: &lt;a href=&quot;http://sebastiankraemer.com/docs/Kraemer%20origins%20of%20fatherhood.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Origins of Fatherhood&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note: I asked this question in the philosophy section but got no encouraging response; so I am re-posting it here.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16612" LastEditorUserId="16612" LastEditDate="2015-06-05T09:55:50.357" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T04:22:04.710" Title="Is Fatherhood natural among humans?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2015-06-06T14:50:19.780" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20554" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20556" CreationDate="2015-06-04T14:05:40.873" Score="6" ViewCount="796" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm having a difficult time sometimes with my 5-year-old daughter understanding when I need privacy such as when I take a shower or need to put body cream on afterwards, dry up etc. If I explain it to her and nicely close the door she gets extremely mad screams and cries. How do I circumvent this?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It usually doesn't happen during the day as my husband will keep her distracted downstairs, but this morning she got up earlier as I was preparing for work and caught me in the shower and didn't want to leave when I got out, even after I kissed her good morning and calmly handled the situation.  I feel very guilty, but I want to teach her what privacy is and that our bodies should be private at times. I don't want her watching me as a naked woman while I'm doing private things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband thinks she's too attached to me and that this should not be!  I let her see me dress quickly or if we go to a pool swimming of course but I don't want this to be the norm at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16614" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-25T12:32:59.400" LastActivityDate="2019-09-25T12:32:59.400" Title="How can I explain to my 5-year-old that I need to be alone if I am showering?" Tags="|primary-schooler|communication|bathing|mother|girls|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20494" CreationDate="2015-06-04T14:14:32.273" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll address what other answers didn't seem to yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't even feel comfortable sharing any feelings with 'B' because of how they have neglected me in the past. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure if you mean that you just don't want B to know how you feel; OR that you don't mind if they know but you don't want to go through the process of telling them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's the former, then simply don't say anything above &quot;I have no interest in having anything to do with you. If you don't understand why, think. Good bye&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's the latter, a solution is to type up what you want/feel, as a blog post (as the co-founder of StackExchange is wont to preach at times, writing on Stack Exchange &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; blogging, so you basically already made a good start). Then either post it in private and mail to B; or post in public and mail B the link. No need to explain person to person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another way of doing this more constructively, is to raise the cost on B to connect to you. Right now, their cost is &quot;3 minutes for phone call&quot;. Tell B that if they want to reconnect, they FIRST have to make good all that they hurt - e.g. compensate A for the costs of the debt fully; etc... &lt;strong&gt;If B aren't fully serious about this, they will run for the hills&lt;/strong&gt;. If they are serious, you and A come out ahead - while this won't cancel your hardships, it will help you have easier life going forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T14:14:32.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20554" CreationDate="2015-06-04T14:37:14.810" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try explaining it sometime when you're &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; in the middle of the situation that when we go potty or use the shower that we should have privacy and that she should respect that. Then try to show her the same privacy (within reason) while she is showering/changing/pottying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, a lock on the bathroom door might be in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T14:37:14.810" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20381" CreationDate="2015-06-04T14:41:20.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids that age just like pressing buttons. Buy them a fake phone or computer and that will keep them busy for a while. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Gameboy is not only generally considered as unsafe for a 1-year old, but also your kid will get tired of it quickly like any other toy. (Let alone if he actually can operate it)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16616" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T14:41:20.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20553" CreationDate="2015-06-04T16:00:02.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seeing how male-superiority has been a big part of society for as long as recorded history goes, the fact that fatherhood is not considered &quot;natural&quot; is not a big surprise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Women were told (still are in some places) that their sole role was to care for the children and keep up with the household chores. The men function is limited (sometimes strictly) to providing for his household. The idea of a men &quot;caring/nurturing&quot; children, was (and again, still is in some places) not &quot;socially correct&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that the love a father can feel for his child is as strong as a mother's love. I think that rather, the social politics of society have had its impact on the way men perceive children and how they'd &quot;approach&quot; them. There are cases (like yourself, and mine for that matter) that do defy the popular standard, and have an unadulterated sense of fatherhood in them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16617" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T16:00:02.890" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20400" CreationDate="2015-06-04T16:30:51.907" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I am a Pakistani and I am a bilingual. My mother taught me both languages as I was a toddler, but she mostly used Urdu (which is extremely similar to Hindi) at home. She did teach me English words but those that I could relate to or those which a child finds at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should take it very gently, teaching her English words gradually but do not speak in English throughout. Use Hindi as well, that way she will not feel alienated or burdened. Never force her; it might make her hate English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Younger children learn a new language very fast, you will be surprised.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And in the end do not worry you can speak Hindi and English and so will your child but please be patient. Hope I helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(P.S.: Read this article for a little insight &lt;a href=&quot;http://eyeonearlyeducation.com/2014/09/29/two-new-studies-look-at-how-infants-and-toddlers-acquire-language/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Two new studies look at how infants and toddlers acquire language&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16612" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T16:30:51.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20102" CreationDate="2015-06-04T17:19:14.243" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If as you say, the teen (1) openly admits the problem, and (2) wants help, then you and the teen are already in a very good position to tackle the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best approach is complete cold turkey. And since he is willing to be helped (I assume he is male as most computer game addicts are), just sit down and talk to him and ask if he is willing to undergo the cold turkey treatment. If he agrees, discard whatever that is necessary for him to play the game (be it the Playstation or the XBox or uninstalling the game from your PC and preventing him from installing it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal experience is that the weaning-off approach (e.g. let him play 1 hour a day) does not work. If it is well and truly an addiction, then that 1 hour a day will only make him crave it even more and the addiction will remain.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16370" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T17:19:14.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20551" CreationDate="2015-06-04T17:42:35.953" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children like routine. A framework allows them to feels safe and then start to explore the world and their place in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People need routine for good sleep.  People who have problems with sleep need to start quite a rigid routine and stick to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, try that first.  You and your ex should try to agree a routine that you both try to stick to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will include some quiet time before bed; a ritual like brushing your teeth or a warm (not hot) bath with child friendly lavender; then into pyjamas and into bed for one or two quiet calm sleepy time stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure the room is quiet and dark (although some children like a nightlight) and is the right temperature (18 Celsius to 24 Celsius [~65°F to 75°F] is recommend safe range).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will need very roughly 11 hours of sleep per night with a one and a half hour nap in the day. 8 or 9 pm sounds much too late, especially because children tend to wake early. It's possible that your child is too tired to sleep properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention some episodes of separation anxiety (the child shows distress when changing location between parents).  In general this is a healthy sign - it's a demonstration of strong loving bonds between the parents and the child.  It helps if hand overs can be kept quick with a clear, firm but cheery &quot;see you soon!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say that you ask your child about how well he sleeps at his father's home.  Your child is unlikely to have accurate memories about this and might just be saying what he thinks you want to hear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/howmuchsleep.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How much sleep do children need? (UK NHS)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please let me know if I've misunderstood anything!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="7009" LastEditDate="2017-04-02T21:17:46.167" LastActivityDate="2017-04-02T21:17:46.167" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20563" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20564" CreationDate="2015-06-04T17:50:01.860" Score="5" ViewCount="632" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm confused. I keep hearing different answers: some say identical twins are hereditary, some say it's the non-identical twins (fraternal) that are hereditary. Which is correct?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16623" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-04T22:02:52.867" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T03:52:58.350" Title="Are non-identical twins hereditary?" Tags="|twins|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20563" CreationDate="2015-06-04T19:23:27.753" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that there is weak heritability for identical twins, and stronger heritability for fraternal (non identical) twins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://humupd.oxfordjournals.org/content/5/2/179.full.pdf+html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://humupd.oxfordjournals.org/content/5/2/179.full.pdf+html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This paper found weak heritability in identical twins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wikipedia tells us that rates of fraternal twins varies across locations, but that the rates of identical twins seems to be the same everywhere. This might be because of heritability, or it might be to do with food.  For example the Yerba have the highest rate of twinning. This might be genetics or it might be a type of yam they eat which increases the numbers of eggs released.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twin#Statistics&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twin#Statistics&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T19:23:27.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20551" CreationDate="2015-06-04T19:52:46.727" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sort of thing isn't limited to separated parents.  My oldest (who's 3.5) is very similar, but with &quot;daycare&quot; in place of the other parent.  He naps consistently every day at 12:30 on the nose for 3 hours at daycare (or until recently did; I think that time is going down a bit now that he's older).  Best napper they've ever seen - and has since he was a baby (even at a different daycare).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, total opposite.  Refuses to nap unless he's fall-over tired.  Many of his naps start at 4pm or 5pm.  You can imagine what that does to bedtime those days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our theories on why this is boils down to two reasons primarily:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More consistent environment in daycare.  They put everyone to nap at the same time, together, consistently every day.  Thus, he's used to it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More rigidity at daycare.  He knows that daycare isn't going to let him get away with running around - he's put down for a nap with everyone else and then the caretaker leaves the room.  I imagine he tried to get away with things a few times and failed, and so stopped.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our environment simply isn't as structured as daycares, and can't be.  We have trips on the weekends where naps can't be at the same time.  We aren't able to be as rigid with discipline (in part because of our approach, and in part because of emotional reasons).  When he cries it makes us - particularly my wife, but also me - sad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as nighttime, we stay in his room until he falls asleep at night, still, at nearly 4.  He (and his 2 year old brother) wake up at night and come to our beds sometimes.  Not every night, but once or twice a week each.  Sounds like a lesser version of your issue.  I don't think it's nervousness or &quot;needing more mommy time&quot; - I think it's just a little guy who finds it comfortable to sleep with Mommy and Daddy.  He's usually so tired that he can't really think, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried regularizing things like Dan suggests, and I do suggest following that advice.  For us it didn't work: maybe we didn't do a good enough job of it, which is certainly possible, but we always have the same routine.  Upstairs, PJs, brush teeth, go potty, read 2 books each, lights out.  Doesn't matter for us; we still have issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I basically saw (and see for you) two options if that doesn't work.  One is to become much more rigid with what you permit.  Put him back in bed, leave the room.  Basically along the lines of the cry it out type methods.  Have firm rules with bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other is to simply live with it.  If he wants to come into your bed, fine, let him come.  This is basically what we do.  He gets into bed, falls asleep in our bed again, and then if he kicks too much one of us wakes him up and moves him (asleep) into his own bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T19:52:46.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20566" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-04T22:19:27.077" Score="4" ViewCount="237" Body="&lt;p&gt;My almost-four year old boy has been expressing concerns recently that some of his close friends don't want to be his friend any more.  While I'm aware this sort of drama is perpetual in childhood, I think he has some specific concerns that we need to help him address.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;1. Being Pushy&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's a very pushy child.  I don't think most children his age have a fully developed sense of empathy&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;, and most are still fundamentally selfish, but he's definitely more pushy than most other children his age.  He tells other children how to play, and complains when they're not doing it right.  He wants to play with a certain toy and gets very mad when someone else is playing with it.  Occasionally he'll grab toys from others, although we've mostly worked that out (or age has).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few other children who are probably innately as pushy as my son, except for one thing: he's quite big.  He's 42&quot; or maybe a bit taller now, which puts him for a 4 year old in the 95th percentile.  This means that he's physically able to dominate the other children around him that are his age, and it also seems to give him the confidence to &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; so.  If he wants to take a toy he can do it.  He's faster than most of them, he's stronger than most of them. &lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;2. Being selfish&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to being pushy, he's definitely still quite selfish.  We set up a playdate the other day, and he liked the idea, but he also said that he didn't want [friend] to play with his trains.  (He has maybe a hundred wooden trains.)  I tried to talk about it more, and he just didn't seem to get that his friend would want to play with trains &lt;em&gt;and it would be rude not to let him&lt;/em&gt;.  I tried my usual tactic - asking how he'd feel if he was at his friend's house and couldn't play with any of his toys - but it didn't seem to get through.  When the playdate did occur, the friend basically parallel played with my 2 year old's toys (who was at daycare).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The Question&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this adds up to the fact that the selfishness and pushiness means he doesn't completely understand why his playmates don't want to be friends with him.  He's noticeably sad about it - enough so to tell me, out of the blue, that he was sad about it - but he doesn't really get how to fix it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help him fix it?  What can I do to help him understand what he needs to do to be a better friend?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;As a side note, this is the same preschooler from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19179/how-can-i-help-my-preschooler-develop-empathy&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;, and we've worked on it some in manners similar to what @anongoodnurse suggests.  That's seemed to help, so it's possible more of that is what's needed.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;sub&gt;Playing with older children seems to change this dynamic dramatically, which is part of why I think his size matters (though it's not the only difference, of course).  He plays very well at the park when he finds a random five-to-six year old (in particular, a girl) to play with, and will clearly limit his pushiness and usually follow the child around to some extent.  Some of this could well be emotional maturity - either the ability to cope with pushiness, or the knowledge &#xA;of how to overcome it.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-25T12:03:32.947" LastActivityDate="2019-06-25T12:03:32.947" Title="Helping a preschooler be a good friend" Tags="|pre-schooler|friends|socialization|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20527" CreationDate="2015-06-04T23:41:43.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the distinction between pessimism and skepticism lies in intent.  Skepticism is a tool we use to learn more.  Pessimism is a hang-up some of us have that we use to &quot;protect our biases&quot; (almost the opposite of healthy skepticism).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the way you encourage children to be healthy skeptics instead of pessimists is a little counter-intuitive for some of us.  Basically, you reward them for asking interesting questions, trying new things, or striving for something new each time they engage in an activity, and &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; focus on their &quot;innate&quot; skills.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://static1.squarespace.com/static/536efb17e4b0954879f66362/t/541e4e65e4b0423f148c3f67/1411272294236/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;People who are hung-up about innate skills tend to eventually plateau at what they do and then become pessimistic about the prospect of &lt;em&gt;anyone&lt;/em&gt; improving at it.&lt;/a&gt;  People who focus on learning in every situation don't &quot;plateau&quot; per se, they just move on to something else that seems interesting, knowing that they could pick up the old activity and start learning again if they chose to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13482" LastEditorUserId="13482" LastEditDate="2015-06-05T00:01:21.880" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T00:01:21.880" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20102" CreationDate="2015-06-04T23:53:28.320" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on whether it's a true addiction.  If it's more like something he/she fills his time with because he/she doesn't have anything else to do, then the solution is really just to fill his/her time with other activities -- school activities, sports, clubs, youth groups, learning to play and instrument, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's a true addiction, as in he/she literally becomes upset unless he/she &quot;can get their fix&quot;, then most likely this is tied to some form of anxiety and/or depression, and you probably need the help of a therapist to discern what's the root issue and come up with a plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be aware, this &quot;quit cold turkey&quot; advice above may not work, and may not even be helpful.  It's best to let a therapist help sort through it if it's a true addiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13482" LastActivityDate="2015-06-04T23:53:28.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20549" CreationDate="2015-06-05T00:07:06.130" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent myself, but two points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) You could argue that no, it's not just 'cute'. Imagining yourself in someone else's position is the very basis of empathy and all that is worthwhile in humanity :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Describing himself in the third person, from the POV of you or someone else, can sometimes be a mechanism to put distance between himself and things he's not otherwise able to talk about. In this case, he talked about himself crying in the third person. It's good that he can reflect on this. That's not a dissociative &lt;em&gt;disorder&lt;/em&gt;, it's a means of talking about or thinking about strong emotions without reliving them. The same goes if he says there's something wrong with his toy: consider carefully what he's telling you, but first in the spirit of &quot;is this troubling him?&quot; and not &quot;why is he expressing it in this way?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dissociative disorders are (loosely) when he loses contact with his identity and feelings, not when he imagines or imitates others, or when he intentionally considers himself as an outsider would. Standard psychiatric advice from a non-specialist: if you're concerned then of course look for combinations of symptoms and for situations where the suspected issue actually causes him problems. Then ask someone who knows what they're talking about and can consider him specifically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh yes, and:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) He has to sit in the front of the car and you can't go into your office? He knows the rules and he's flagrantly trying to turn them around in his favour. It's a nice try, I bet he's ecstatic every time it works for even a second ;-) Basically he's reinvented the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_of_Misrule&quot;&gt;Lord of Misrule&lt;/a&gt;. AFAIK this is not in any way unusual, it's common sense to want whatever good stuff he sees that you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7847" LastEditorUserId="7847" LastEditDate="2015-06-05T00:23:09.320" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T00:23:09.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20415" CreationDate="2015-06-05T02:47:37.457" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At what age were you introduced to these kind of books? What was the book's impact on you at that time? How did your parents deal with these books?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember reading such fantasy books when I was about 8 years old. By then I clearly learnt stealing and lying is not acceptable in the real world.&#xA;I never continued any discussion with my parents. But this is how I deal, when my 6 year old asks when I read fantasy books, are all the step mothers are wicked? I realised that she is too young to learn about step mothers and I jump to other fairy tales where the thief's get punished by Heroes, eg: Aladdin and how Gene helps the good people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do you deal with these books w.r.t your children? Do you explain them when it is okay to steal or lie and when it is not? What's your children's response?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend to choose the books that are appropriate and lets them improve their imagination. That is all the fantasy books are meant for. Right from very young age we teach our kids that stealing and lying is not a right thing do. so when they come across such stories I am sure they will take it as a fantasy story and forget about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At what age such books should be introduced to the child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many fantasy story books so choose the one that is age appropriate and you can help with positive answers. Arabian Night story books convey positive message where villians get punished by heros. Books like the one you read, I would say leave them for the child to decide until they mature enough that stealing is an offence and is not acceptable in the real world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-06-05T17:13:50.500" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T17:13:50.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20102" CreationDate="2015-06-05T05:23:54.670" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the teen is asking for help, then you may want to consider&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;something like Qustodio, which allows the parent to define computer usage parameters for the teen's specific computer user profile.  You can limit the amount of time per day, which sites and installed games can be played.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;providing plenty of alternative activities -- in the beginning at least, try to spend as much time out of the house as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;asking the teen's pediatrician for guidance (and this might include referral to cognitive behavioral therapy).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T05:23:54.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20566" CreationDate="2015-06-05T06:07:51.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your awareness of the problem is key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a whole lot you can do.  (Which won't change his fundamental nature, but which can nevertheless be helpful.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things you can try (these are based on things I tried that worked well with my older son at that age, who was a bit too intense and could sometimes be hard for his peers to take).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When you're playing with stuffed animals or playmobile characters, you can do a little soap opera and set up some interpersonal problem.  You can manipulate the animal that's in the role your child's potential friend might be in, so you can act out and articulate how that other animal might be feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to find something you can praise in your child's behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;(This one is best for slightly older children, but I'll share it anyway.)  Tell another adult, in hearing of your child, about something that happened to you recently, for example, you weren't very nice to a friend of yours, and you aren't sure s/he still wants to be friends with you, and that you feel sad.  This normalizes what's going on with your child, so he doesn't feel alone.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Invite a reasonably easy-going child over to play, that your child is into.  Invite your child to take the personal items that he doesn't want to share out of circulation before the visit.  If necessary, put the non-sharable items in one room that will have the door closed.  Get your child on board before the play date about that door staying closed, so that Friend doesn't feel tempted to go in and start nosing around.  If most of the toys end up in the non-sharing room, don't despair, the number of non-sharable items will decrease as your child becomes less nervous about these playdates.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Buy two identical, or almost identical, toys of the 5 and dime type, and give one to your child and one to his friend to play with during the play date.  His friend will take his home with him after the visit.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start with short visits and work your way up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Set them up for some water play, for example standing on stools, one in each of a double kitchen sink.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Unplug the phone during the visit, and be very available and involved.  As your child gets more comfortable with playing with friends, you'll be able to have less direct involvement.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Model for your child the target behavior if he starts to do something rude.  For example, if the visitor's name is Curtis, you can bar your son from grabbing something Curtis is holding, and say, &quot;Curtis, may I have a turn with the gorilla figure?&quot;  Or, &quot;Curtis, let's switch.  I want the gorilla.  Here, do you want the giraffe?&quot;  Teach your child non-bossy phrases like &quot;Curtis, how about if we ... (e.g. go outside now).&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take some photographs of the two children enjoying something together.  Put the photographs in a small album, and write simple captions.  Read this book about himself with him.  This will help engrain the good experiences he has had with a friend and will help him want more of that!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Collect a box of cheap percussion instruments.  Put on some children's music from the library and have a parade around the living room making percussion sounds to the beat of the music.  Let the children change instruments as often as they like.  If your child starts to snatch something from Curtis, remind him to offer something in exchange for the coveted item.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your child starts to be overbearing, get down on their level (I mean physically -- squatting, sitting or kneeling) and model the desired behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Allow each of them plenty of chances to choose things, for example, &quot;Joe Jr, would you like cheese or peanut butter for lunch?  Curtis, would you like milk or water to drink?&quot;  When your child is a little older, you can guide him in playing the host, for example, &quot;Joe Jr., could you please ask Curtis what he'd rather have to drink, water or milk?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;End the playdate before the level of enjoyment starts to go down.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he goes to pre-school, or later when he goes to school, make sure the school is aware of the problem; if they have a good social worker, meet with her (feminine used here for simplicity) and see if she'll work with him on his social skills.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T06:07:51.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20400" CreationDate="2015-06-05T06:18:43.803" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The third option is to introduce English-speaking playmates.  It may take some doing to find them.  A playgroup would be ideal.  A variety of ages is okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is helpful to continue to speak with your daughter in English consistently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do some play acting with stuffed animals, puppets, or whatever.  There should be a character that speaks English consistently, and maybe doesn't even speak Hindi.  This should be an ongoing saga, so your child remembers the character types when you come back another day to play with the same animals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make notes of the English words that she utters comfortably.  She doesn't have to use those words &lt;em&gt;consistently&lt;/em&gt; -- but this will help you learn &lt;em&gt;her vocabulary, or repertoire of active words in English.&lt;/em&gt;  Make plenty of conversation that includes these words, to give her lots of opportunity to use the ones she's comfortable saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't get discouraged -- many children mix their languages willy nilly up to age three, and even then it can take a couple more years to (mostly!) stop mixing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can reduce her hours of day care a little bit, that might have a big effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I am basing my answer on my experiences in a multi-lingual family, having lived in several different countries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T03:16:52.703" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T03:16:52.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20486" CreationDate="2015-06-05T06:27:26.563" Score="-1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;is there a downside to letting him use them as often as he wants?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, unless buying extra bandaids is a financial burden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my children had a doll that he wanted to put a lot of bandaids on.  I gave him a roll of masking tape and he really went to town patching up that doll with longer and longer pieces of tape.  Eventually the doll looked like a mummy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If only our adult anxieties were that easy to assuage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T06:27:26.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20551" CreationDate="2015-06-05T06:38:00.090" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's possible there is some separation anxiety going on here.  There are games you can play that help with this.  Peekaboo, for starters.  Also, if you can enlist the help of someone he knows well, such as your mother, you could try this:  the three of you are in a room playing.  You tell him good-bye, you'll see him later, and you leave.  Come back after a very short absence.  Train him this way to expect you to come back.  Over time, repeat this experiences.  The goal is to come back before the child starts crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first few times you do this, it may be painful for you.  But remember, you don't have to stay out more than 5 minutes at the beginning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to consult a professional (e.g. psychologist) to see if an altered mother-father schedule might be helpful, and if so, try to negotiate that, with the help of the psychologist who made the recommendation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tip for child wanting to join parent in the middle of the night -- have your child drag a small sleeping bag and pillow into your room when needed, and have the child set it up at the foot of your bed.  It may take some patient training for your child to get the hang of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try some over-the-counter melatonin right before the bedtime story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T06:38:00.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20456" CreationDate="2015-06-05T06:46:26.560" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are books that can guide you through this.  For the youngest children, you would start with the concept that a baby girl grows up to be a woman and a mother, and a baby boy grows up to be a man and a father.  Make sure they know the correct terms for body parts -- teach these in a casual way, without sexualizing the parts.  Answer their questions, but you don't need to introduce a lot of information at this stage.  Gradually, over the years, your story about how babies come into being can become more refined and detailed, letting yourself be guided by their questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm basing this answer on my experience reading &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0802772218&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Making Babies: An Open Family Book for Parents and Children Together&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, by Sara Bonnett Stein, with my children when they were small.  There is helpful guidance for parents, and the picture book can be read on different levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry I don't have anything to contribute in terms of other cultures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit, 6/6: My birth culture is United States, mid Atlantic, raised by Jewish, non-practicing mother born in Germany, emigrated to the black South.  I had a second cultural education in my twenties in provincial Mexico.  I lived in a sequence of three European countries later on for several years each.  The book I recommended is the only thoughtful approach to the question that I have come across in any of the countries I mentioned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit 6/7:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Living in several countries I didn't grow up in has given me a chance to see what &lt;em&gt;doesn't&lt;/em&gt; work well in terms of helping young people make smart, informed decisions about when sex is okay and what the consequences could be, through thoughtful, age-appropriate sex education.  What I've seen is that good communication between the two parties is key, whether it's two young people feeling an attraction to each other, or two young people already in a committed relationship.  I've seen lots of problems stemming from partners not being able to talk to each other comfortably about sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's an interesting This American Life podcast about sex education in high school, covering an innovative approach using a robotic &quot;baby&quot; gadget that cries and carries on if it's not fed on demand.  According to the podcast report, use of this gadget helps young people understand what a tremendous commitment having a baby is.  Here's the link: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/549/amateur-hour&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Act Two: And Baby Makes 0011&lt;/a&gt;  I don't know if this addresses your question, though, because of the high school context vs. your children's age level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited 6/10 to address the &quot;how cultures around the world teach sex-education&quot; part of the question, assuming this is asking what is taught &lt;em&gt;in school.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In New York state, elementary teachers are required to do some health lessons every year, covering certain mandated curricular content, which may be found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.p12.nysed.gov/sss/schoolhealth/schoolhealtheducation/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.p12.nysed.gov/sss/schoolhealth/schoolhealtheducation/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.p12.nysed.gov/sss/schoolhealth/schoolhealtheducation/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's in first grade where anatomically correct dolls begin to be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just remembered spending a month in rural Mexico and hearing from a friend there a very judgmental statement (with which I happened to agree) that her sister wasn't careful about when she made love with her husband in their one-room hut, i.e. she didn't care whether her children were awake or not.  But in that environment, there was no formal sex education.  There was an itinerant primary school teacher who taught mixed grades in that community occasionally.  No blackboard; I'm not even sure if they had any books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-06-10T05:30:45.437" LastActivityDate="2015-06-10T05:30:45.437" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5357" CreationDate="2015-06-05T09:13:20.703" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought baby nail clippers but I'm afraid to use them since my 2 month old moves too much. I wouldn't wanna cut him, so when he's asleep I bite his nails. It works perfectly! It's fast and safer than nail clippers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16633" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-10T13:28:25.040" LastActivityDate="2019-05-10T13:28:25.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20553" CreationDate="2015-06-05T13:44:43.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Despite appearances to the contrary (fostered by anthropocentric nursery stories), a distinct role for male parents&#xA;  does not exist in nature. Fatherhood was invented by humans during the agricultural revolution about six thousand&#xA;  years ago. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, given that it seems natural and plenty of animals do this including Penguins, wolves, North American ruddy duck, Rhea, Catfish, Sand Grouse etc and  Marmoset fathers even take care of the babies from birth, it apppears like the foundation of the abstract is totally unsubstantiated and completely manufactured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly there are many papers of that ilk around where people just have an idea and so look for any shred of evidence, ignoring anything that opposes the work. It may be a revelation to you that not everything that is peer reviewed is actually correct. Some professors have tried to use such techniques even to &quot;prove&quot; that child pornography is a good thing (cite: Prof. Eric Anderson, 2007, who also said that the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/11601759.Lecturer__who_likes_to_bed_17_year_olds__should_be_sacked_say_pressure_group/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;The damage that’s caused by child molestation is socially constructed by the Western world&quot;&lt;/a&gt;)-- so you do need to be very careful what you read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T13:44:43.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20584" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-05T14:55:33.370" Score="8" ViewCount="303" Body="&lt;p&gt;My marriage ended in divorce and I left my children to their mother in order to keep the peace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the years I received mail; emails on birthdays and so on. But I have lost their need to contact me personally. I am missing that hard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to motivate that need, or interest, to contact me personally—for instance, to visit me?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16534" LastEditorUserId="11750" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T11:09:48.070" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T23:06:33.007" Title="How do I reconnect with my separated children?" Tags="|adult-child|family-activities|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20415" CreationDate="2015-06-05T16:19:31.270" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a child my parents read Grimm's fairy tales to me frequently.  I remember having favorites, mostly the princessy ones, and asked for them a lot (though I don't remember choosing to re-read them myself once I could read).  Simultaneously they were teaching me not to lie, to steal, to cheat, etc.  Like others have said, I never noticed any conflict.  It never occurred to me my parents were in any way condoning or endorsing fairy-tale behavior.  It never came up in conversation about how not to behave, either.  The fairy tales just were, phenomena unto themselves, divorced from everyday reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't until I was in my twenties and started to read Puss in Boots to a friend's child that the two parts of my understanding collided.   I have a nurturing temperament: in all my interactions with her kids I tried to give them information about the world and how to behave in it, and here I was reading a story where the protagonist tricks and kills a perfectly innocent giant so he can steal his castle and lands.  I was appalled, so much that I couldn't even finish the story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Skip forward to when I had my own child, and this unexamined distaste for children's fairy tales was still with me.  I did not consciously choose to leave them out of her education, but night by night, when I read her stories, or picked books from the library, I somehow never chose traditional fairy tales.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And this turned out to be A Bad Thing.  Because literature is full of references to other literature, and stories are told in opposition to previous ones.  Even outside of literature, the fairy tale archetypes are well-known and powerful and useful for discussing human behavior.  Some are culture-specific, some resonate across different cultures, but my daughter is missing almost all of them.  She has lost points more than once on tests because she was never exposed to this underlying layer of archetype.  (E.g., &quot;Why is chapter 5 of &lt;em&gt;The Bridge to Terabithia&lt;/em&gt; called 'The Giant Killers'?&quot;  She thought it had something to do with really big killers.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I could do it again, I would read these things to her starting when she was one or two.  I would use a different tone from when I read her other books, always start with the words &quot;Once upon a time,&quot; and just present them neutrally as information.  They do have their own morality, but it's one where giants and witches are always bad, and it's okay cheat and steal from or even kill them for no reason.  As Wiccans and NBA stars would agree, it's clearly not acceptable in our world to discriminate against whole classes of people... but I would save discussions about this for other material.  I would make very sure I &lt;em&gt;found&lt;/em&gt; this other material, however -- especially to counter the Cinderella story -- and make sure we had those discussions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, with regard to the atrocious punishments found in fairy tales -- another reason I didn't want to read them to her -- I think it would have been okay to tell her about the red-hot shoes (e.g.) starting when she was too young to grasp what this meant.  Perhaps this would have made her tougher later on with regard to her feelings for characters in stories, and not so upset when bad things happened to them.  (See my question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/10542/how-can-i-help-my-ten-year-old-not-be-traumatized-by-the-deaths-of-characters-in&quot;&gt;How can I help my ten-year-old not be traumatized by the deaths of characters in books?&lt;/a&gt; from some time ago.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T16:19:31.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20415" CreationDate="2015-06-05T17:33:01.767" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, it should be noted that in most of the cases you mention there is an assumption that the items taken from the villain were probably originally stolen by the same villain. Even Robin Hood is stealing back unjust taxes to the peasants from which they were levied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, moral issues are rarely starkly black or white. Take it as an opportunity to discuss the gray areas. Is it OK to steal goods that were already stolen in order to avoid starvation? If you steal enough to live a life of luxury - have you overdone it? Should you instead have tried to determine the owner and return properties beyond that which kept you alive? In the emperor's new clothes, everyone was told to lie to the king when the truth was needed for the king to see how his vanity had cost him. Meanwhile, he was also the victim of theives that played to his weakness - is there something there for your kids to understand to be aware of their weakness and to try to be aware of scammers? And was those who lied per instruction doing wrong? Or are white lies that make a person feel good about themselves the right thing to do sometimes? &quot;Of course you look great honey! Haven't gained a pound or aged a day in the 40 years we've been together!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take these as teaching moments. Teach your kids to see beyond just the words that were read to them, and to discuss the moral dilemas that they are sure to face. As to what age? If they ask, they are old enough for an age appropriate answer. And if you ask a leading question, tackle the questions that come up. Kids are pretty good at showing the level of complexity that they have derived from what you have exposed them to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T17:33:01.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20415" CreationDate="2015-06-05T17:41:16.560" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion there are far more &lt;a href=&quot;https://scifi.stackexchange.com/a/6798/777&quot;&gt;bad parts in these fairy tales&lt;/a&gt; than just stealing: evil stepmothers, witches who eat children, people dying horrific deaths (mostly for punishments)... If such stories were published today, it is likely that they would not be recommended for children. Should you read them to your children anyway? &lt;em&gt;Absolutely.&lt;/em&gt; (And I say this as one of those who never were very fond of fairy tales as a child.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the age in which children are able to judge what's happening in those stories, they should be old enough to understand that those are stories, that they come from a time long ago, and that they are set in the time back then. There are no giants and witches, and people are not put into kegs into which nails have been driven from the outside and rolled down hills for punishment anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, there are times and places where we would consider stealing fine. (Stealing weapons from an enemy is usually considered a brave deed–and rarely ever even called &quot;stealing&quot;–and if a well-known thieve is stolen from, we'd snicker about it.) Scientific studies have shown that practically everyone lies several times a day without even thinking about it. And even when we do think about it, there is what we call &quot;white lies&quot;, and they are important. (Just tell the next mother who proudly holds up her newborn how her child &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; looks with all those wrinkles on a bald, red head.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you tell your child to not to ever to lie or steal, then you put it into a moral dilemma, because it hears you preaching an absolute moral standard that you do not live up to. And this is fine, because your child will constantly run into those while living with other people. That's just the way our society is knit. The moral standards that rule our societies are far more complex than &quot;do this, don't do that&quot; and they are hard to learn. But all children will have to learn these standards in order to be able to live in their society, and the only way to learn about these rules is to be exposed to them, will all their dilemmas and discrepancies. Help your child to navigate this complex subject, but do not try to prevent it from being exposed to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:43:40.743" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T17:41:16.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5357" CreationDate="2015-06-05T19:04:18.010" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use scissors (they are much easier than nail clippers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really hold each finger so that she can't push or pull it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to associate (even she's just 2 months) something with it. Like wearing glasses, holding her in a certain position in your lap, etc. That way she'll associate things and it'll make your life easier in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Didn't like to do it while my little one was sleeping, because she would move anyway and would wake up crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2679" LastActivityDate="2015-06-05T19:04:18.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20589" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-06T02:37:45.960" Score="3" ViewCount="741" Body="&lt;p&gt;Now that we have conquered jaundice, our doctor has shifted our breast-fed two-week-old daughter's feeding schedule from &quot;every two hours; wake her; no exceptions&quot; to &quot;every two hours; wake her; you can go up to four hours at night time.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not questioning the validity of our doctor's orders. I am confident that there are good reasons to stick with this schedule and wake our daughter accordingly. What I do question is the importance of the 4 hour period specifically occurring at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As often as not, our daughter's only session of staying asleep for more than a couple hours is in the afternoon. At night time, she tends toward two hours on the high end, and sometimes wants to cluster-feed (last night, for instance, there was only one between-feedings period over an hour). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The shift towards longer breaks sounds great as it will help my wife to get actual sleep, if-and-when we can take advantage. But those opportunities may be few and far between if they are only allowed at night time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One option we've considered is to allow up to two anytime 4-hour breaks if our daughter and my wife are both sleeping soundly. Is there a strong reason that these 4-hour breaks should only be at night? What could go wrong from us allowing them during the day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems worth it to let our girl have her days and nights stay mixed up a bit longer if that is what it takes to provide her with a well-rested mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: After a day or two, we were lucky enough to see her long sessions of sleep shift to the 8pm to midnight timeframe. That has largely made this a non-issue. In retrospect, I still think that 4 hours during the day would have been fine if that was the only way to provide sleep to my wife &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastEditorUserId="4092" LastEditDate="2015-06-17T02:46:16.717" LastActivityDate="2017-04-07T04:05:43.640" Title="How important is &quot;at night time&quot; as part of a newborn's feeding schedule?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|breastfeeding|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20590" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20629" CreationDate="2015-06-06T03:03:06.830" Score="2" ViewCount="204" Body="&lt;p&gt;My newborn daughter has a strong need to be held and rocked to sleep. In &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/20515/4092&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;, Dan notes that it is important to help your child learn how to fall asleep without being rocked to sleep. At what age should this start, and what are good methods of helping with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T08:41:51.573" Title="How should you help your baby learn to sleep without being rocked to sleep?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|crib|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20589" CreationDate="2015-06-06T03:41:58.417" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like your reasoning, @JeffreyBlake.  You explained it very well, and I won't try to go through it again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest one small change to the scheme you proposed: at two weeks, I would aim for only one four-hour gap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader in your area?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's one other trick you can use -- as long as you don't overuse it.  During the dark hours, when your daughter is nursing so often, you can pick one request to nurse to try to talk her out of.  Well, not by talking, of course, but perhaps by taking her out for a walk.  So many one-hour gaps can be rough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm all in favor of cooperating with a baby's urge to cluster-feed, but like you say, a mother needs to get &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; sleep!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Basis for my answer: personal experience, lots of reading about breastfeeding, and some years of participation in La Leche League meetings.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T03:41:58.417" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20563" CreationDate="2015-06-06T03:52:58.350" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is &lt;a href=&quot;http://genetics.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/twin-genetics&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;another article&lt;/a&gt; by a geneticist that might be interesting.  Seems like geneticists are not all completely in agreement either, but it does seem like fraternal twins are more likely to be a hereditary thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T03:52:58.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20543" CreationDate="2015-06-06T04:00:24.680" Score="-3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My question here is that in such situations should I:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;pretend to be deaf and blind and let the toddler learn the lesson    that everyone may not be friendly towards her even if she is towards them? or&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;jump in the situation to heal the toddler's hurt feelings?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would go with the latter, but let me qualify a bit.  See if this fits with your own ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Next time you see a situation like this likely to develop, try to avoid the problem.  Perhaps you could take your daughter outside to play, go do some water play in another room, go for a walk, go in the bedroom and read a book, etc., etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you weren't able to do avoidance, then let her experience some feeling of hurt before stepping in to help.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can give a simplified explanation to your daughter when something like this happens.  It's okay if she doesn't understand completely yet.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source for this answer: My parenting experience.  Also, I have lived in the third world and understand your basic premise, that you wouldn't be comfortable pushing the boy in your example to be more outgoing.  He is in his mother's employer's house, and he may be uncomfortable.  He should have the right to withdraw from interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Her father is usually busy in scrolling twitter. He doesn't respond before the child yells at him minimum 4 times. Even when he responds, he says &quot;Haaan&quot; and continues scrolling Twitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is something I can relate to; you might want to bring this issue up in a separate question.  The boy in your example isn't part of your family.  The twitterer is -- and to my eyes, that is very different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that my absent-minded husband has come a long way in the last 20 years since our older child was born, and does significantly less tuning out than he did waay back then.  (Although the problem has not disappeared entirely.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T04:00:24.680" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20553" CreationDate="2015-06-06T04:12:44.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my first daughter was born, I was there.  When I first saw her, she took my breath away.  I literally could not breath for about 40 seconds, and although I was aware of it, I was not worried, the feeling of joy/pride/HOOORAAAAAHHHH! that filled my chest was just simply crowding out my lungs, and I was ok with that. Breathing could take a backseat and wait its turn.  Anybody that tells me that was just societal conditioning and not part of how I am made, simply has never experienced what I did and does not know what they are talking about.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;When she was a few weeks old, I was sitting next to her in the car.  She was in her baby seat, and I saw a mosquito land on her.  As I saw it land, I felt such rage at that mosquito - this vile creature that would dare presume to hurt my little girl.  I wanted to take that mosquito and rip it limb from limb, slowly.  However, I could not even slap at it without slapping my baby, so all I could do was wave it off of her, and the darned thing got away.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Now, normally, I am a mild-mannered, very level headed kind of guy, so feeling such rage really caught me by surprise and made me stop and think about fatherhood, and it taught me a lot, not just about fatherhood, but also about what true love is.  I would never have understood my Father's love for me until I had children of my own, and now I see and am amazed that should be the recipient of such love.  I can also see that I am made to pass that love on to those around me, especially to my wife and my kids.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;People who dismiss fatherhood as if it were not part of our design, by comparing us to animals, really are pathetically misguided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T04:22:04.710" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T04:22:04.710" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6409" CreationDate="2015-06-06T04:30:00.357" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 6 wks pregnant and my 6,5, and 4 yr old told me the same thing.. they told me I was pregnant and and I took a test came out negative then I went to the doctor took a blood test came out positive. Children can just tell you things before you know them. My 4 yr old is cranky&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16645" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T04:30:00.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20483" CreationDate="2015-06-06T04:35:10.860" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the key to solving your problem is to prevent the irregular afternoon naps.  Then your daughter will be able to be more regular in her sleep and you'll be able to adjust her bedtime to a time that allows her to get up in time for school more comfortably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What else can I do to keep her awake? She is constantly on the go playing outside or inside or doing crafts, its not like she's sitting there bored!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Three things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) At some point in the day, slightly earlier than 2:30, give her some quiet time by, for example, reading a book with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Starting around 2:15, get yourself organized so you don't have to leave her alone when 2:30 comes around.  Do something quite exciting starting at about 2:25.  For example, do a cooking project!  Wash some plastic dishes together!  Do some finger painting!  Etc., etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Try giving her a low carb lunch.  This can be helpful in preventing those mid-afternoon doldrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-06-07T09:08:37.170" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T09:08:37.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20598" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-06T09:19:03.893" Score="2" ViewCount="385" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am currently about to be employed and this sadly means I will need to some alternative way to look after my child. I have been thinking about child minders (one who either comes to my house or I let my child go to their house), but I do not know if they should be trusted with my precious child. He is only 9 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I decide whether a child minder is the best solution for child care?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16651" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-05T12:51:05.350" LastActivityDate="2019-03-05T12:51:05.350" Title="How to choose whether a child minder is the best solution for child care?" Tags="|infant|working-parents|babysitting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20599" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-06T09:24:11.160" Score="5" ViewCount="128" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just became a parent recently, so pardon me if I my question seems surprising&#xA;to some of you, but how do I exactly know if my child is hungry, he is only 6 months?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16652" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T17:59:28.900" Title="Hungry Child? How do I tell?" Tags="|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20600" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-06T09:31:25.523" Score="9" ViewCount="577" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the mother of a 9-month-old. I feel too protective of my baby. I mean I can't leave him for a minute on its own, I feel that I have to constantly watch over my precious child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it normal for a mother to feel this way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16653" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-03T12:04:11.997" LastActivityDate="2019-06-04T04:12:58.327" Title="Is it unusual to have protective feelings over one's child?" Tags="|infant|attachment|mother|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20600" CreationDate="2015-06-06T10:00:41.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the most beautiful feeling you will ever feel. All good and normal parents do feel protective. Just know that you have to balance this with your child's needs. It is alright to feel protective, but it will be wrong to keep him locked up. Let him explore in a good way. Know that feeling protective over your child will only add to your and his happiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16612" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-06-15T17:08:29.940" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T17:08:29.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20584" CreationDate="2015-06-06T11:21:30.683" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can request a meeting with them at their mother's house or somewhere else they love. And it is not at all as difficult as you imagine. Do not stop yourself; let them feel that you truly love them, tell them something you never told them. Most of all make them feel that no matter what happens, you will be there for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note: My father is not very sensitive, he mostly cares about practicality; but he loves us unconditionally and all my siblings feel the same way; and we love him, too. You do not have to be sensitive or emotional but the very confession that you miss them shows that you love them. You do not have to compare; kids can feel exactly just how much any parent loves them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for listening. : )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16612" LastEditorUserId="16612" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T17:52:26.653" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T17:52:26.653" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20604" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-06T12:12:58.473" Score="30" ViewCount="13062" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will try to make this short... Every time my son's dad shows his face, my son cries himself to sleep. His dad tries to console him but it never works. It always gets to the point of his dad feeling the need to spank our son to make him hush. It only makes it worse when he tries to use discipline when our son has done no wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The dad blames me for feeling how I felt when I was pregnant with our child. I agreed with him on that. I just don't like how the dad is treating him because our son never wants his dad. Me and his dad argue every time he comes to visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually let his dad take him knowing he's scared and doesn't want to go. His dad doesn't see him often at all, so at any time he wants to see his son or take him for a day, I let him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate his dad, but I will never keep my son away from his dad when his dad wants to see him. What, more or less, should I do to get my son to want his dad?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16655" LastEditorUserId="7890" LastEditDate="2015-06-07T20:49:06.253" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T18:42:13.653" Title="I think my 11 month old is afraid of his dad" Tags="|infant|discipline|single-parent|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-06T13:52:52.500" Score="54" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are in a tough situation. Having to share parenting with someone you hate is very difficult. And whenever anyone upsets your child, it's natural to want to prevent that. Let me make some suggestions for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;first, &lt;strong&gt;no hitting&lt;/strong&gt; - I am presuming that &quot;pop our son top make him hush&quot; means hitting. That has to stop. It doesn't work, it makes the crying louder and longer, and it's hurting their relationship. It has to stop. One way to enforce this is that if there is hitting, the visit is over. You can tell him this in advance and explain it is as much for his sake as the baby's.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;second, don't let his dad take him. Spend time together the three of you somewhere pleasant like the park, the mall, out for a walk, whatever. Let the dad do all the work (carrying the baby, pushing the stroller, giving the bottle or food) but be there. You can teach him how to do things, like how the new coat does up, or remind him things he needs to do, like checking a diaper, but let him do the parenting. This way the visits won't start with the baby being scared and not wanting to go. The dad can work on developing a relationship in a more relaxed environment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;third, sometime when the baby is not around or is asleep you two need to talk. What's past is past. How you felt when you were pregnant or even that you don't like him now are not relevant. You want him in the baby's life and that is relevant. He needs to learn how to parent and how not to hit, and those are things you are willing to help with. It will be hard. You will have to spend time with someone you don't like. Parenting is hard. It keeps you up late and breaks your heart sometimes, but we do it anyway.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the dad stops hitting the baby, stops taking him away crying, and learns how to meet the baby's needs, it's possible they will develop a good relationship and the baby won't be scared of him. It's also possible the dad will decide that seeing the baby is way too much trouble with your new rules. But if he does that will be his choice, and not your fault. Showing up to scare, hit, and yell at a little baby is not really being a parent anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T13:52:52.500" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2015-06-06T14:11:23.723" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always sworn mild to moderate...I was going to really stop. But they grew smarter than I realized and at some 3 to 5 years old they probably threw a few words out...I made no comment. When it seemed like they could understand , I explained maybe 10 times each that they were not invited to speak like that until they were 18. I went on to tell them examples of how STUPID kids sound swearing with their little friends when overheard by others . I encouraged them to think about being embarrassed by behavior that other people might judge them to be weird or unacceptable. It didn't matter to me I told them because I'm not the one they're judging. I really kind of left it up to them to decide, Anyway....that is hard to explain to adults but kids get it.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was out of town on my oldest daughters birthday. I called to wish her a happy birthday, and she let out with all the swear words she could rattle off when she started laughing at the fact I had forgotten the big privdglege of swearing when she turned 18. In fact, I have a picture of her in a birthday hat and sign with all the words she used! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have raised 3 others with the same deal and none of them really questioned it...and none of them talk like I did..do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16647" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T14:20:17.853" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T14:20:17.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20598" CreationDate="2015-06-06T15:24:23.707" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In several of the countries I've lived in, the government has created a certification system for child minders.  If yours has too, you could narrow your search to those who are certified, and doing so could give you more confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, it is always a good idea to check references, and to observe the person in action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best day care experiences I had as a child, and each of my two children had when they were quite small, were in family day care, where the child goes to the child minder's house, and is part of a very small group of children (approximately 3).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the choice of mode of day care is a very personal matter, and what worked well for us might not match up with what is right for you and your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basis for my answer: personal experience&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T15:24:23.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-06T16:12:38.943" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;I support the answer written by @Chrys except for two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you don't feel comfortable spending time together the three of&#xA;you, that's okay, the basic idea Chrys suggested can still work --&#xA;but it would have to be someone else, that the child knows and&#xA;trusts, who would be spending time with child and dad as a&#xA;threesome.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It could be a friend or relative of yours or the dad's, who will spend some time getting to know your child well enough for this to work.  Or you could contact your county's Child Protective Services office to ask for a social worker to do formal supervised visits.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I admire your willingness to set aside your own feelings about the&#xA;dad, and not stand in the way of child and dad developing a&#xA;relationship with each other.  However, there is one thing that even&#xA;more important than that.  Your child must be protected from&#xA;psychological damage.  If you feel that, on balance, their&#xA;relationship is doing your child more harm than good, then it's time&#xA;for dad to take a break.  The dad may be in a better place in a few weeks, a&#xA;few months, or a few years, to develop a positive relationship with&#xA;his son.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to suggest that you try to find at least one positive male role model to be in your son's life -- if he doesn't have one yet.  If you don't have a male friend or relative who could be kind of like a favorite uncle for your child, then I would suggest that you sign up for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, and specify that you would like a Big Brother (not a Big Sister) for your child.  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962347/k.9063/Enroll_a_Little.htm&quot;&gt;http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962347/k.9063/Enroll_a_Little.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basis for this answer -- personal experience: I was raised by a single mother.  My mother made an effort to make opportunities for me to meet my father and spend some time with him, but she also tried hard to protect me from his hurtfulness -- he was a troubled person, who eventually committed suicide when I was 13.  I appreciate what a fine line she had to walk, as you are doing -- trying to facilitate things so child and father can get to know each other, but also trying to protect the child from too much pain.  That's not easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T16:12:38.943" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20599" CreationDate="2015-06-06T16:27:00.783" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a baby seems distressed in any way, hunger is one of the first working hypotheses to test.  It's a good idea to take a snack with you whenever you go anywhere, and to have some easy-to-serve food handy at all times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll know if he was hungry if you try serving him some food and he eats it and then feels better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you get to know your child better, and as he matures and develops more communication skills, it will get easier to read his cues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T16:27:00.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20490" CreationDate="2015-06-06T16:45:43.817" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know your child, and I'm not a medical or mental health professional, but I've read quite a bit about ADHD (as I have a child with ADHD), and your outcry is quite typical of what parents of ADHD children tend to say before they get the diagnosis.  (And sometimes after, as well!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your implied question is, What can we do about this untenable situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer is, start with his pediatrician or primary care doctor.  When you make the appointment, tell the receptionist you would like the doctor to evaluate your child for ADHD.   They may suggest that you fill out a screening questionnaires before your appointment, and this is a great option if you don't want to drag things out. Also, it would be helpful for you to print out your SE question and bring it to the appointment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to bring your partner or someone else who knows the child well along for the appointment, to watch the child in the waiting room if there's anything you want to talk over with the doctor in private.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If indeed your child has ADHD, it just means that he's wired differently than the average child – it's not a bad thing.  But knowing how he's wired can give you the key to understanding your child.  There are a variety of coping mechanisms that become open to a family when there is an ADHD diagnosis.  And an ADHD diagnosis doesn't automatically come stapled to a prescription for stimulant medications or any other medications, for that matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether your child turns out to have ADHD or not, one thing that you might find helpful is to schedule some play time out of the house for your child, such as nursery school, Head Start, or trading off play dates with another family. I am the parent of a child with immeasurable energy and initiative.  I often feel like Superman's mother!  I would not have made it this far (he is now 12) without some scheduled breaks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Edited for clarity 6/7, with thanks to @Erica for a helpful phrasing suggestion.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-06-07T15:39:50.563" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T15:39:50.563" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-06T17:57:36.687" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tricky situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general the child has a human right to a family life with both parents; and each parent has a right to a family life with the child. But the best interests of the child over-rule the parent's right to a family life with the infant.  Hitting an infant because that infant is crying is abuse, and that's enough for you to refuse to allow anything but supervised access.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing is that you say you hate the father and argue with him in front of the child.  You should try to protect your child from this.  It doesn't matter whose fault the arguments are - your child needs to be protected from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With these things in mind: have you considered supervised access at a children's contact centre?  They can arrange drop off and collection so that you and the father never meet.  He'll get access to the infant and he'll be supervised by child care experts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can move onto to less supervised contact (eg he could have the child in a public space) after the father has completed a parenting programme.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T17:57:36.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20613" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20615" CreationDate="2015-06-06T20:39:03.547" Score="13" ViewCount="3496" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to monitor my 16 year old boy's web activities, but I have been struggling to do so. Since he started his interest in computer programming, it's become an arms race. I've tried setting up a firewall blocking system, but he managed to get around it. I'm trying to monitor what sites he visits and block unfavourable sites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't originally tell him about this, but he must have found out, although neither of us have brought it up in conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16660" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T20:48:55.743" LastActivityDate="2015-06-18T11:10:25.423" Title="Monitoring a computer-literate teen" Tags="|teen|computer|internet|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20613" CreationDate="2015-06-06T21:17:12.810" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Step 1: talk to him about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 16, which means he's fairly close to being an adult and probably at least somewhat responsible. Let him know what you think is acceptable and what is not, and make some rules about computers in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure to explain &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; you want to monitor his activities and block access to certain sites. This could include things like &quot;dangerous malware&quot; and &quot;I don't want junk on the family computer&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 2: realise this is a fight you cannot win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son really wants to see something, he will. He'll just do it on a smartphone, someone elses computer or find a way to circumvent your filters. Unless you learn more about computers than he does and continue the arms race, you will not be able to stop him from finding whatever he wants to find. (And even then, you cannot control what he does on a computer that you have no access to.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very difficult to simply tell a 16-year old &quot;you cannot look at this&quot; and expect to succeed. You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; probably tell him that he can't do it on certain devices and if he's raised in any way properly he will most likely respect that, though. That'll limit the damage he can do to shared computers (either through damaging content or because he keeps stuff lying around for younger kids to find)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T21:17:12.810" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20616" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20618" CreationDate="2015-06-06T21:25:30.140" Score="1" ViewCount="369" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a friend. Let's call him John Smith. John Smith has a son. I'll call him Robert Smith. John, their family and Robert's friends all call the child Robert or Robby. No one calls him Rob.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, in his free time John writes novels. He wants to publish them under a pseudonym, and the perfect pseudonym he came up with for his writer self is Rob James Ford. (I'm still making up all the names, but the principle of similarity is the same.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;John Smith is a bit worried how his son will feel when he grows up and discovers that his father has &quot;appropriated&quot; his own name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Little Robert is eight years old today and knows quite a few other Roberts, among them one of his best friends, so he is used to the fact that his name is not exclusive to him. But he also knows his father by the name John and that Rob is one possible short form of Robert. When he reaches adolescence and has to find his adult identity -- possibly accompanied by conflicts with his father -- he might feel that his father has been transgressing into what is rightfully his own by using his name for himself. It might feel wrong to Rob Smith that his father calls himself Rob Ford.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it unproblematic for John to call himself Rob? After all he does not call himself Rob Smith but uses a different last name with a version of his son's first name, so there is no mistaking Rob James Ford for Rob(ert) Smith. But at the same time Rob &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; the name of John's son, and they both recognize this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should John do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;John found his pseudonym through a painstaking process and has been unable to come up with another pseudonym that feels just as right to him. Giving up Rob as part of his pseudonym would be a pity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T21:30:44.713" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T22:01:55.167" Title="Can a father use his son's first name as a pseudonym to publish his writing?" Tags="|personality|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2015-06-07T09:06:54.927" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20613" CreationDate="2015-06-06T21:47:59.133" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;At sixteen years, the influence you have on the personality of your son is so minor as to be nonexistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't managed to teach your son how to live well by now, you won't be able to overcome the influence of his friends and the current (internet active) culture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In my opinion it is best to stop controlling your son and to begin trusting him.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't trust him and worry about him doing things that will get him or you in jail (hacking, file sharing, looking at child pornography), unsubscribe from your internet access in your home. If you think your son is not stupid and not criminal, talking to him about the legal, social and psychological consequences of certain internet activities should be enough to keep him out of harms way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, it is now his task to find out who he is, and this involves doing things that his parents disapprove of and that all healthy teens eventually grow out of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It forever destroyed all trust between me and my mother when I found out she was reading my diary. Controlling your teen son's internet activities is a transgression that you will regret when he protects his privacy by withdrawing from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2015-06-06T21:52:54.197" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T21:52:54.197" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20616" CreationDate="2015-06-06T21:56:02.873" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If John is not using &quot;Rob Smith&quot; and is instead using &quot;Rob Ford&quot; it doesn't seem like it would be much of an issue. No one will ask the adult Robert Smith , &quot;Hey are you also that author Rob Ford?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also if the novels become really big and John has book signings he wouldn't be spoken to using the psudoname he would still be called John Smith if he was attending in person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't work, what about asking 8 year old Robert what he thinks? You could explain the situation and see if he has an issue with it. If Robert has a problem with it John should pick a different name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also Also, why cant John just pick a different name and avoid the issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T21:56:02.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20599" CreationDate="2015-06-06T21:57:46.317" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children at six months can be taught sign language, and asking for food and drink is usually the easiest thing to teach them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sign language for babies is easy to learn because it involves logical motions and simple ones. Asking for food is moving hand toward face as if you have food in it. Asking for more is bringing hands together with fingers touching. Saying all done is the common motion for no more (think 'safe' call for baseball hand motion).  All of those are very easy to learn for a six month old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, sometimes your baby won't know she is hungry; the main way to deal with that is simply to make sure you make food available on a fairly frequent basis (every few hours at least) and see how much she wants. If she is hungry she will eat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T21:57:46.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20616" CreationDate="2015-06-06T22:01:55.167" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think part of it depends on how old you are, and if you're any good at writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're really good (able to make a ton of money from your writing), you want the real Rob to get his share of the money in return for your theft of his name. So you want to protect the book(s) for as long as possible. If you're old and expect to die soon, a pseudonym will protect your work longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;if you use your real name, protection for the work extends for your life plus seventy years; if you use a pseudonym, the term of protection is 95 years from the publication of the work, or 120 years from the creation of the work, whichever period expires first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't die, or the pseudonym is found to be associated with you, that advantage vanishes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If, however, after filing the original application in a pen name, the author’s identity is later revealed in the records, the term reverts to the life of the author plus 70 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think (again, POB) that if you're really good, your child &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; take it as a compliment. If, however, he doesn't like your writing, he might be insulted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say, avoid it altogether. If you are imaginative enough to write, you should be imaginative enough to make up a better pseudonym that in no way reflects upon an innocent party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://publishlawyer.com/publishing-faq/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Publishing FAQ&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-06T22:01:55.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20613" CreationDate="2015-06-07T03:46:46.217" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I may be able to bring a new perspective to this discussion. Although I am not a parent, I was a child prodigy on the computer. I taught myself HTML when I was 8, and I learned tons of super useful skills from the ages of 10-16 that helped me start a career without a college education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did I get exposed to a lot of porn and other inappropriate content? Of course. Did it scar me for life or turn me into a bad person? No. Plus I'm making as much as a doctor, so that must account for something. And I'm not saying that you should condone these things, but I think you should be aware how valuable computer skills can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Using a proxy or blocking &quot;harmful&quot; websites:&lt;/strong&gt; This makes sense. Block the bad stuff so that they will be more likely to do something constructive or go outside for a change. But in practice, website blockers are notorious for blocking constructive content. Rule of thumb, you should use the same restrictions yourself. If it annoys you then you shouldn't force it on your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No admin permissions:&lt;/strong&gt; Again, seems very reasonable. This will protect you against viruses and annoying stuff, but may also prevent your child from experimenting with new software found on the internet. Nowadays, a vast quantity of professional-grade software is becoming Open Source, which basically means free of cost and viruses. 3d modelling, audio synthesis, recording, image and video manipulation, the list goes on. If they ask you for permission to install something, please don't put up a brick wall and ask a million questions. They may just give up on a potentially constructive hobby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: Stay informed, setup clear rules, and discipline when necessary. Monitoring is better than blocking. If you choose to block something, be lenient about unblocking when a valid justification is provided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16666" LastEditorUserId="16666" LastEditDate="2015-06-13T02:53:23.523" LastActivityDate="2015-06-13T02:53:23.523" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20613" CreationDate="2015-06-07T04:57:24.787" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've always been the computer geek of my family and it was &lt;em&gt;probably&lt;/em&gt; easier in the days when we only had one computer per household (I have three of my own now. And spares!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've not been a parent, but from a kid's perspective...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Engage&lt;/em&gt; don't &lt;em&gt;spy&lt;/em&gt;. Talk to your kid about what he's doing. Computer programming is a &lt;em&gt;very useful&lt;/em&gt; life skill in this day and age. Ask him about what he's coding and what he's doing on the computer.  Your kid is probably going to be better at computers than you so its better to find a &lt;em&gt;social&lt;/em&gt; solution than a technical one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a &lt;em&gt;single&lt;/em&gt; computer (or can have computers in a fixed place) put it in a &lt;em&gt;private&lt;/em&gt; but &lt;em&gt;shared&lt;/em&gt; space. (Dosen't work as well when he has his own.). We could close our door (airconditioner made it necessary anyway), we shared the system, and we had a reasonable amount of privacy over what we did. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to put a block - talk to him, and explain why (and see if he has any better ideas). Yeah, he'll be able to get around it, but he is already, and its a sign of trust. I for one probably would have understood having filters so I don't &lt;em&gt;accidentally&lt;/em&gt; come across content that some may consider inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I didn't know it at the time, my parents trusted me. One of my grandmothers (wrongly) suspected I was looking at porn, and my mom defended me. I never heard about it until later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be &lt;em&gt;supportive&lt;/em&gt; (Mine weren't and it was a pain) but draw clear lines in terms of time that can be spent on personal projects or general internet lookseeery. Homework needs to be done after all ;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short? The best way to monitor a teen is &lt;em&gt;not to&lt;/em&gt;. If he feels he can talk about these things, he will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9886" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T04:57:24.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10462" CreationDate="2015-06-07T06:38:31.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I have to continuously tell him to do his routine work like bathing, brushing teeth etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly, this is quite common among boys this age.  However, with some children, an &lt;em&gt;occasional&lt;/em&gt; reward when they have made it through their ablutions in good time can help.  The reward could be 5 minutes on Youtube with you, or extra bedtime reading with you -- be creative, but don't set it up as an expectation, that each time he succeeds, he gets the youtube treat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Develop a checklist together that has all his evening necessities listed, so he can check things off as he does them (brush teeth, put on pajamas, put dirty clothes in basket, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When I sit with him for studies and he doesn't show inclination to complete his work, I get irritated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may need to back off and let him have some difficulties with school, and then offer your help.  Or perhaps you could hire a somewhat older person as a homework buddy.  That would free you up to enjoy his company, and you'd be able to bypass the homework patrol duty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it is possible that there are some things going on in school that are causing his lack of interest in his home study.  It might be helpful to make an appointment to observe some of his classes to see if you notice anything of concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be private or volunteer tutoring available where you live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you sit down and think about what would be a worse outcome when your son becomes a self-sufficient adult -- that he not be a big academic success, or that he not be a respectful person (i.e. perhaps hitting his baby when he becomes a father, perhaps ending up in jail, etc.).  If you find that you feel that academic progess is a wonderful thing, but not quite as important as being able to trust that he won't deliberately hurt someone, then remembering that thought process will help you walk away from a fight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T06:38:31.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18874" CreationDate="2015-06-07T07:20:33.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I think now, or in a few years, it won't be as hard on him compared to us telling him when he's a teen and who knows how he'd handle it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes a lot of sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't want my adopted child to have any unpleasant surprises, so I started telling him his adoption story extremely early, even before he was very far along with speech-language development.  The first version was very simple.  It's gotten gradually more detailed and complete through the years.  He's 12 now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will be a feeling of loss, sooner or later, and perhaps in multiple waves.  You can be close and empathetic, but you can't take it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there's no need to project that feeling of loss on your son.  I mentioned it so you won't be caught by surprise when it comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can tell the story in a simple, joyous way with a very young child.  Children love to hear about how they came into the world, how you and Dad couldn't wait to see him, and how happy you were to meet him once he was born!  I would introduce your ex by name, so that he's in your son's cast of characters.  Try to leave any feelings of bitterness, disappointment or disapproval out of your voice.  Let's suppose your ex's name is Edgar.  The story might go something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Before you were born, you started out as a tiny little almost-baby,&#xA;  growing in my uterus (point at your belly).  I was hungry all the&#xA;  time, and I ate lots and lots, and you got a little bit bigger every&#xA;  day!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Remember how a baby starts to grow?  There's a tiny egg from a woman,&#xA;  and a tinier sperm from a man, and they find each other, grow&#xA;  together, and start to get bigger, and make an embryo, which becomes a&#xA;  fetus, and eventually it's a complete, just-right-size baby, and is&#xA;  ready to be born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The sperm to make you came from Edgar, and the tiny egg to make you came from me.  Edgar was your first father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Did you know that Dad sang to you every evening?  I remember when he&#xA;  first felt you kicking in my uterus.  He said, this baby is going to&#xA;  be really good at kicking a soccer ball!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There, that wasn't so bad, was it?  We've introduced another character in the story, and the story is basically a lovely, loving story.  The other character is pretty cloudy in the first version, but he can get fleshed out some more as your son gets a bit older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can tell each version of the story as many times as you like.  Once is definitely not enough.  A story like this goes well with bathing or cuddle time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can give simple answers to any questions he might ask you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a subsequent version of the story, you can say something like &quot;Edgar didn't feel ready to be a father, so he said, &quot;Bye-bye Kim, bye-bye baby.&quot;  You wouldn't tell this in a sad way -- you would just tell it as an interesting story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goals are&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;develop an awareness that there is this other person in the cast of characters (we don't know much about him when he first walks on stage, but as we find out more about him later, at least we feel some familiarity -- oh, right, I've heard of Edgar before).  This is so there's no feeling of shock later.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;celebrate the miracle of birth and the joy of being much wanted -- this is important for developing self-esteem.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can draw a simple family tree and put it on the wall, and refer to it from time to time.  Make sure Edgar is in it.  Here's a site that outlines various approaches for how to incorporate Edgar into the schematic: &lt;a href=&quot;http://genealogy.about.com/od/adoption/a/family_tree.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://genealogy.about.com/od/adoption/a/family_tree.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kindergarten is a great age for reading picture books about different family configurations.  There may even be a unit in kindergarten on families.  Even if there isn't, it would be a good idea to let the teacher know about your family's constellation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you see a lot of your in-laws, it might be good to give them a heads-up too.  What I mean is that you can give them the outline and the flavor of the current version of your son's birth story, so they won't be caught by surprise if your son brings up Edgar with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T07:20:33.463" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20590" CreationDate="2015-06-07T08:41:51.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The process you are talking about is called &quot;sleep training&quot; and there are a lot of approaches to it. In general the aim is to make your child learn to fall asleep on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can refer you to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/baby-sleep-problems-solutions&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;babycenter's sleep problems page&lt;/a&gt; where you can find a lot of information about the methods you can use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general there are two groups of methods: no tears and cry-it-out (aka controlled crying). The first assumes that you do not want your baby to cry at all during the process and it is recommended for parents with strong backs because there will be many pick-up/put-down 's (PUPD). Just kidding, couldn't help myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second group contains all methods where you let your baby cry for some time before trying to soothe it. It is either limited crying, where you let the baby cry for 1, then  2, then 3, then 5, then 10 minutes, and so on, or just... Leave the baby to cry itself to sleep. The last one is for the most &lt;em&gt;strong-willed&lt;/em&gt; parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that habits for sleeping should be established very early on. Not for the child, at first, but for the parents. Weak ambient light during night, curtains closed during sleep-time even if it's bright outside (important during summer long days), not reacting immediately to baby's crying  - but only after you've learned your baby's kinds of crying - for example react immediately to panicky-terrified cry, but very long if the cry is just fussing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our routine: bath, teeth/gums, change of clothes, a few children's books, lights out, story about the day, 5 minutes of silent companionship, say bye-bye and wave, go out. Works 90% of the time for us (works=we don't go into her bedroom again and she falls asleep on her own). We started the routine very early, adjusted it a few times, but in general stuck to it. And it worked for us. We didn't actually need proper sleep training (&quot;baby boot camp&quot; as sbd called it;), our daughter seemed to understand the routine at around 4 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for other evening routine activities - consult this question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/468/what-are-some-dos-and-donts-for-an-effective-bedtime-ritual&quot;&gt;What are some do&amp;#39;s and dont&amp;#39;s for an effective bedtime ritual?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;There's a lot of great information. Choose some elements and stick to them. Your baby's not going to understand a book you read, but will eventually learn the routine and it will help her fall asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T08:41:51.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20630" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20710" CreationDate="2015-06-07T11:53:00.870" Score="10" ViewCount="354" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner is looking to return to work soon after giving birth. We both work, so we'll need to find someplace that looks after baby whilst we are out all day.&#xA;The question we have is how does the feeding work? Do we supply bottles of breast milk to the daycare or do they usually insist upon giving formula?&#xA;Should my partner continue expressing throughout the day at the office or can she just do that before/after work? It is my understanding that expressing should be happening every few hours, but perhaps this is not correct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for any advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: We are in the UK&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Thanks everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9297" LastEditorUserId="9297" LastEditDate="2015-07-27T14:00:26.943" LastActivityDate="2015-07-27T14:00:26.943" Title="Returning to work quickly - how does feeding work?" Tags="|breastfeeding|daycare|working-parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20370" CreationDate="2015-06-07T11:56:14.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Changing baby holding positions is not the only thing you can do to reduce the back pain you are experiencing.  I would also recommend trying to strengthen your back and abdominal muscles.  The easiest way to do this is by doing sit-ups.  You can get information about appropriate exercise regimens from any of many sources:  a physician, a personal trainer, an experienced gym rat, or the Internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the short term, it may be wise to change your carrying posture to rest your child more on your hip, taking more of the weight off your back.  It would also be a good idea to check with a doctor to make sure the back pain isn't caused by an unrelated condition.  Propensity to back pain can be a symptom of a number of other problems, and it would be worth ruling them out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T11:56:14.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10462" CreationDate="2015-06-07T12:09:37.623" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give yourself time and think what you can do differently other than punishing and yelling. Ask your partner what is the right way of upbringing and try to understand what he says. Just do as he says for few weeks, if you can't handle the pressure call him and share your experience. If it doesn't work try something different and try it even if you think a new approach is not going to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask your son what he thinks about your behaviour, if he says you are nagging then tell him that you won't nag him at all. No matter what.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't bath on time, give him breakfast right away and send him to school. If breakfast is difficult too then give him some milk and send him to school and fill the lunch box more than what you normally give. He might eat all of it at school and feed him well when he returns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the homework, take special permission from school to submit the homework once a week for 12-13 weeks and get his dad to work with him over the weekend and see what positive changes happen in your family.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assess yourself, is your violent and aggressive reaction because of societal pressures then you might want to  guard against such pressures. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grab a book on self disciplining children and try reading it. Or simply subscribe to free emails who sends  content about disciplining children and implement those techniques. Be creative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastEditorUserId="16247" LastEditDate="2015-06-09T05:14:52.050" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T05:14:52.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20630" CreationDate="2015-06-07T12:28:45.213" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You will &lt;em&gt;probably&lt;/em&gt; be able to provide your own milk.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to daycare facilities you're considering and find out their policy. Some include formula and diapers as part of their services, some do not. Ours required parents to bring in the baby's food (whether breastmilk or formula) and stored it in the fridge with the bottle clearly labeled. Even in cases where the daycare provides formula, there should be a possibility for exceptions (some children are breastfed, some children have allergies to certain formulas, etc.) and you can &quot;shop around&quot; to ensure you find childcare that meets your family's feeding standards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your partner should be pumping milk while at the office.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying to go eight hours straight without relieving engorged breasts gets (&lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt;) painful and will likely cause significant leakage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To keep up a supply that is enough to feed the baby, pumping needs to more or less mimic the regular feeding schedule: every couple of hours. This provides enough milk for the baby to eat at daycare the next day &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; encourages milk production. (This will change over time, and once breastmilk is not the only food that the baby's eating, production and pumping needs will decrease -- but not for months.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the UK, &quot;workplace regulations require employers to provide suitable facilities where pregnant and breastfeeding mothers can rest.&quot; Both time and a place for pumping milk should be available. My experience (in the US) was that &lt;em&gt;time&lt;/em&gt; was easier than &lt;em&gt;place&lt;/em&gt;, but a conversation in advance with her employer should help facilitate having everything ready for her return to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some good further reading: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6420/expressing-breastmilk-at-work&quot;&gt;Expressing breastmilk at work&lt;/a&gt; (UK BabyCentre Article)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-back-to-work.aspx&quot;&gt;Breastfeeding and going back to work&lt;/a&gt; (UK NHS)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;La Leche League: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/returnwork.html&quot;&gt;How Can I Make My Return To Work Easier?&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbworking.html&quot;&gt;a collection of articles about Working and Breastfeeding&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T12:28:45.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2172" CreationDate="2015-06-07T13:33:52.293" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't agree in thumb sucking.  I suck finger untill I was 12 years old and believe me, it was very difficult and challenging to stop. After seeing my cousins stopped it encouraged me to stop. I also have two other cousins Presently sucking thumb, one is 14 and the other 19. There teeth alignment is pretty bad. So I won't encourage sucking thumb because of the difficulties and the expenses it can  bring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16679" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T13:33:52.293" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20456" CreationDate="2015-06-07T13:56:02.983" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is true that different cultures think about sex differently (for some it is a sin before they involve in sexual activity before marriage, etc.). I think for all parents regardless of their cultures needs some planning about openly talking about sex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below is something, I would say to my kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll make sure that my kids understand that &quot; sex is one of the greatest pleasures we humans beings can get and it is not a sin to have sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But as much as  pleasure it is, it also has negative effects. On one side, I will try to educate on STD's and avoid pregnancies. I would also ask the kids, not to involve in sex at least they are 16 years of age (particularly girls). For boys, I would emphasize more on treating the girls with respect and if they involve in sex, they do it thoughtfully. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't done so then go to youtube and type &quot;How to talk about sex with kids&quot; and you might get some ideas that will make you comfortable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastEditorUserId="16247" LastEditDate="2015-06-08T12:14:07.543" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T12:14:07.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20637" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-07T15:02:14.843" Score="0" ViewCount="86" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is showing some slightly little changes, but when I ask him if he does he tells me no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16681" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-08T11:18:26.277" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T11:18:26.277" Title="How do I know if my son has to go to the potty?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-06-08T17:28:04.247" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20637" CreationDate="2015-06-07T15:13:04.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use your gamma-ray vision goggles and check their bladder fill level. If somebody lifted the set that came in your parenting handbook (quite common considering their value on the black market) you're just going to have to wing it. Use your intuition. You probably know your child's mannerisms better than they do, so use your best judgment. But also expect to be wrong and treat it as if you're not sure. When it gets to the point that you're pretty sure, call a timeout and ask them a favor. Request they go through the motions and spend the time to go—even if they don't think they need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By doing this you'll prevent accidents &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; your child will learn to better understand when they need to go. Judging that takes practice and most won't stop to think about it and analyze whether they could go given the chance. So give them the chance to learn that they can often go even when they didn't &lt;em&gt;have to go this second or have an accident&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But also learn to trust them. As they figure it out better and start giving you more reliable yes/no answers start trusting their response and slowly move the onus to them to be right or wrong. But still point out useful break points or places until they learn the drill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="458" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T15:13:04.533" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20613" CreationDate="2015-06-07T15:45:58.803" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your son is planning a career in IT (you mentioned he has shown an interest in programming), continuing this 'arms race' as you call it is a great way to help him build skills which will be very marketable later on in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You set them up, he knocks them down, and as you go on the blocks you put in place become more advanced and he comes up with more ingenious ways of getting around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He could learn lots about networking and computer security if you played this right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6590" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T15:45:58.803" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20641" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-07T17:18:40.033" Score="4" ViewCount="2034" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five year old daughter has been in kindergarten for a whole year. Now she is going into grade 1, but she has become a bully. This past Friday she pushed a kid off the play structure at the school. She doesn't listen to me or eat or do anything she's told to do, all year she has had problems with this girl telling her she hates her, fighting with her, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a single parent and she sees her dad every weekend. I'm at my wits end and dont know how should i punish her. I have taken toys and stuff away but it doesn't seem to phase her, she still continues to torment this girl. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has never been like this with other kids she has been in day care and she never had any problems with the other kids. She used to be a happy go lucky kid, very polite, and well behaved, but now it's the complete opposite. I don't know what to do anymore, suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thank-you.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16686" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-06-08T05:58:03.287" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T12:10:14.293" Title="How to punish my 5 year old bully?" Tags="|discipline|bullying|fighting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20456" CreationDate="2015-06-07T18:49:28.580" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids grew up in two cultures (Germany and the US) and there are significant cultural differences in sex education.  To see which one is better, we can look at a few metrics. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teenage pregnancy rate is about 4 times higher in the US than in Germany (see  &lt;a href=&quot;http://unstats.un.org/unsd/demographic/products/dyb/dyb2009-2010/Table10.pdf&quot;&gt;http://unstats.un.org/unsd/demographic/products/dyb/dyb2009-2010/Table10.pdf&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevalence_of_teenage_pregnancy#cite_note-ustats-births-1&quot;&gt;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevalence_of_teenage_pregnancy#cite_note-ustats-births-1&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rate of sexual assault is about 3 times higher in the US (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Rape-rate&quot;&gt;http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Rape-rate&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really good summaries of US vs Europe are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/419-adolescent-sexual-health-in-europe-and-the-us&quot;&gt;http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/419-adolescent-sexual-health-in-europe-and-the-us&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/euroteens_summ.pdf&quot;&gt;https://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/euroteens_summ.pdf&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both studies clearly conclude that European teens are much better at making healthy choices about sex while there is no significant difference in sexual activity level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what's the difference then? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A lot of sex education in the US is subject to strong religious or socially conservative ideology. It basically consists of the word &quot;No&quot;. This simply does not work. Ironically the most conservative states that focus on &quot;abstinence only&quot; education have the highest teenage pregnancy rates. See for example &lt;a href=&quot;http://mic.com/articles/98886/the-states-with-the-highest-teenage-birth-rates-have-one-thing-in-common&quot;&gt;http://mic.com/articles/98886/the-states-with-the-highest-teenage-birth-rates-have-one-thing-in-common&lt;/a&gt; Germany is much more open and far less ideological about this. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's a by and large a taboo that many parents are not comfortable taking about. We have repeatedly tried to have an open discussion with the US parents of various boy and girl friends showing up in the house. We wanted to talk about what the &quot;rules of the road&quot; are and what the parents would be comfortable with (or not). Dead silence and stone walling in every single case. It is simply not something &quot;one talks about&quot;. One of the most stupefying response I got from one mother was &quot;if he ever has sex, I don't want to know about it&quot;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Easy access to contraceptives and protection. Many US parents try to restrict access of their kids to contraception. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;General lack of knowledge. With US parents being reluctant to talk about this and with the orthodox churches trying to control the curriculum in the schools, the kids have a lot less actual information. This means that the most common source of information are other kids on the school bus, which leads to massive misinformation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;US sex education tends to over focus on the physical risks (STDs, etc) but does cover very little of the emotional risks, which are far more complicated but also far more likely to occur.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One example: that illustrates the problem. One of my sons and his long-time girlfriend had a condom accident. There was absolutely no way the girl could talk to her parents about this. Fortunately they had a trusting relationship with my wife and so my wife went and got the morning after pill, just in case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is what worked for us and by &quot;work&quot; I mean: all of our kids are in stable healthy long term relationships and there were never issues with health scares, pregnancies or severe emotional damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk open and without reservation. Make information available. Be fact oriented and use data. Don't be preachy. Make sure that data, fact and your opinion and wishes are clearly distinguishable. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Develop trust. Accept that teenagers will explore, push limits, try new things and will sometimes do really dumb stuff. Be there to bail them out without making to much of a fuzz about this. All of our kids had one &quot;get out of jail&quot; card. When you are in trouble or a situation that you can't handle, give us a call and we get you, no questions asked. Only one was every cashed and it was for something I felt was reasonable harmless. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have clear behavioral values and make sure you live them consistently yourself. In our case that was simple stuff: &quot;no damage to people&quot;, &quot;no damage to properties&quot;, &quot;we don't lie&quot;. Apply them to the problem: teenage sex only potentially interferes with the &quot;no damage to person&quot; rule. Have a discussion around this: what does sex do to people, what are the risks, both emotionally and physically, and how do you know that there will be no damage. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T18:49:28.580" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20613" CreationDate="2015-06-07T20:08:33.837" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your goal is to monitor and/or control your son's Internet access while he's using a computer at home, then your single best point of control is your router (or modem/router combo). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason the router is best is because all your home network traffic &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; go through it, with few exceptions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any decent home router has white/blacklisting options, as well as site/access logging. What you'd likely be interested in is the blacklisting (blocking specific websites), and logging options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blacklist_%28computing%29&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Blacklisting&lt;/a&gt; allows you to set sites that can't be accessed through your router. They should at least let you block specific sites, such as &lt;code&gt;www.parenting.stackexchange.com&lt;/code&gt;. They may (and should) let you do it at the domain level such as blocking all stacks on this site by blocking &lt;code&gt;stackexchange.com&lt;/code&gt;. Ideally, they'll let you block with wildcard filters, so you can block sites with keywords, such as &lt;code&gt;stack&lt;/code&gt;. Arguably more useful filters would be &lt;code&gt;porn&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;torrent&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;anony&lt;/code&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In most cases, I think it's fine to just be upfront with your child about expectations of his Internet usage, and giving some trust that way. However, I think you, as a parent, have an obligation to ensure your child isn't engaging in illegal or illicit activity. So, blocking his access to sites that are primarily used for pornography or pirated content are up to you to block.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not interested in giving a moral evaluation of whether or not the laws are worthwhile, or whether or not your child should have access to those places. That is a decision that's up to you and your household. However, I would add that if your child does anything illicit on &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; Internet connection, you would be culpable. For instance, if someone uses your Internet connection (even an unauthorized user) to pirate a new movie or TV episode, you may get a piracy notice from your ISP. If you get enough of these notices, your ISP may ban you from their service.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, back to the logging feature. Most routers I've used have at least a basic logging feature that tracks which connected devices access which websites. However, few of them have tracked the access very far back in time. This means you'd have to periodically log into the router and check it while your son is online, to see what types of sites he's accessing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you decide to go with router-level controls, you'll need to do two more things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Set a secure administrator password for the device (and not use the default)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Control physical access to the router, as a hard reset will wipe out your settings (and reset the password the default)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would recommend doing these things even if you didn't have a teen in the house. It would also work for guests or other family members that need to use your Internet access.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the claim that your child could just use their phone, that's not necessarily true, and depends on your provider. For instance, Verizon Wireless provides free content filters, advertised as Family Safeguards &amp;amp; Controls, that could limit what they use their data plan for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, with a little bit of effort, and hopefully the right router hardware/software, you can do a lot to mitigate the &quot;worst&quot; your child has access to. However, any methods beyond these basic ones will require increasing effort, and likely specific research for your specific needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-06-07T20:08:33.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2015-06-07T20:40:41.233" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't feel like a real answer, but too long and too much like an answer for a comment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Monitoring (with technological measures, keystroke/screen/browsing history recording) what a child/teen does on a computer can be like reading their diaries, setting them up with an electronic/GPS bracelet and using hidden microphones to listen in to their private conversations with friends, all at once and even more. If you want to have &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; sane and trustful relationship with your child you shouldn't do it without their knowledge and after a certain age not at all. Just make sure they know the laws, the dangers and the moralities concerning the usual topics (copyright, anonymity, porn, whatever) and &lt;em&gt;talk&lt;/em&gt; with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't prevent them from doing some mistakes and having some uncomfortable learning experiences, &lt;em&gt;like in every other area of life&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(no parent here, young adult who was only ever restricted in the amount of time allowed to spend in front of computers. I learned about copy right law, I learned about porn, I learned about people trying to scam me - sure I saw some stuff I could have gone without. But that would only seriously trouble a child which is troubled anyway)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16423" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-08T11:19:54.520" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T11:19:54.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20646" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-07T21:16:40.113" Score="13" ViewCount="1511" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 9-year-old son still bed-wets. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that he is an &lt;strong&gt;extremely&lt;/strong&gt; heavy sleeper; when he needs to pee, he does &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; wake up - even manually trying to wake him up (either to try and pee preventively in the middle of the night, or to deal with 'accident' after-effects) is a major undertaking; it may take 5 minutes of effort to rouse him awake (this only applies during the night). This heavy sleepiness is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; in any way correlated to him not getting enough sleep or rest - it is the same no matter if he slept more or less than average the previous days/weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes he wakes up &lt;strong&gt;after&lt;/strong&gt; peeing himself, but not 100% of time, and not always right away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried the following approaches, none of which seems to have any permanent effect at all:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Physical approaches to reduce the need to pee overnight:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reducing liquid intake before bed (and enforcing at least 30-60 minutes since last drink before bedtime). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Requirement to pee before going to bed (ideally, twice if he is going to bed late enough).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eliminating pee-inducing food/drink during supper (e.g. no watermelon etc., no high sodium food) - plain water and plain food.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All 3 of these helped to a small degree, in that he makes it through some rare nights without peeing himself. But that only helps in less than 30% of nights, even when applied 100% consistently daily.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Psychological approaches&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried the usual stuff - praise for waking up dry, a prospect of a meaningful prize if he lasts a week or 2 without wetting the bed, etc.). He also has an aspirational example of a younger sister, who was waking up to pee at night since ~ 5 years old reliably - and we are always careful to &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; shame him by comparing them, but simply show him the benefits of not bed-wetting she is accruing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These have zero effect (not unexpectedly, as the issue seems to be &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; psychological - he definitely does &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; like to or wants to bed-wet. He simply doesn't wake up when he needs to pee).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Physical environment&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried everything. Sleeping in bed and on the rocking chair (he loves the latter so at times he is permitted). Sleeping in diaper and without diaper. Sleeping in colder and warmer room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Zero effect from any condition changes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Waking him up in the middle of the night to pee, on a schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has a predicted localized effect (if - after 5 minutes of trying to wake him up - he wakes up and goes to pee - he sleeps the rest of the night dry).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;However, it also had zero lasting effect&lt;/strong&gt; - after months of consistently doing this, whenever we do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; wake him up at the scheduled time, he would wake up on his own and go pee maybe less than 5% of the nights, at most.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pertinent information: one of the parents had bed-wetting issues, but - to the best of family recollection - they stopped by 8-9 for sure, and nothing was done to achieve that that we haven't already tried with our son. Whereas our son shows very little sign of improvement by 9, compared to 8,7,5, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His pediatrician is aware of the situation, but did not find any indications of anything worth worrying about from a medical standpoint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bed-wetting is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; a new issue - there was never a sustained period in his life longer than 4-5 days where he would not bed-wet unless woken up by a parent to pee preemptively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What else can we try to do to address the issue?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16692" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-02T13:02:31.127" LastActivityDate="2018-10-02T13:02:31.127" Title="What approaches can I use with an 9-year-old who bed-wets and is a heavy sleeper?" Tags="|sleep|middle-childhood|bed-wetting|enuresis|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-08T11:20:21.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child's relationship with its daddy is important, but that only going to work if daddy steps up and acts decently. Hitting a 10 month old is not right. It's not going to teach the baby anything but fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say the dad blames you for feeling how you felt when you were pregnant. This is not fair. Pregnant women have all sorts of hormonal issues. It's normal and expected for your behaviour to change while pregnant. Again it's up to the man to be strong enough to deal with the challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you hate the father. This again is not cool. If you want your child's father to be involved, you need to build some kind of relationship with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say the baby seems scared. Think how you would feel if you were small and powerless and a stranger kept showing up, fighting with your mum and hitting you. You would probably be scared too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't let anyone hit the baby.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't fight with the dad when you see him. Make a real effort to be nice for the sake of your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to build some sort of working relationship with the dad. I'm not talking about sex here. Try to get along and respect each other.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-06-08T11:28:18.690" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T11:28:18.690" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20641" CreationDate="2015-06-08T12:10:14.293" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good job mom for recognizing this behavior while she's so young! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to suggest that communication about bulling is key. Schools are doing a lot of seminars and such with the rise in school violence but shes probably a bit young for that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did a quick amazon search and found a lots of children's books about being yourself, teasing vs bullying and other on topic stories for all age groups. Incorporating a few books into bedtime and discussing how being bullied makes the person feel may really help. If she develops a strong sense of empathy she will be much less likely to do things to other kids that she wouldn't want done to her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember kids have to learn to think about other peoples emotions, its part of normal development and a skill she probably hasn't mastered at five.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also talk to her about why shes picking on this one girl. I bet that would be very revealing. Maybe the girl was mean to her, or she wants to be friends but felt excluded, or she feels the girl has something she doesn't. I bet your daughter hasn't really thought about the &quot;Why?&quot; of the picking and without knowing why shes doing it she may not be able to feel empathy for the girl and stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T12:10:14.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20456" CreationDate="2015-06-08T12:48:45.250" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with anything else, I'd say the right time is when they ask questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how much information is too much information, it's a judgement call depending on what you know about your child. I generally tend towards giving a simple bare-bones answer first, then seeing if they follow up with another question based on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, one of my daughters got as far as learning that Daddy's sperm had to meet Mummy's egg, but didn't inquire further about the 'mechanics' of how that meeting happened. (I must admit that when she got to a certain age where I felt she probably needed to start being a bit more aware I nudged her a bit by asking her how, and she eventually worked it out.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't answered the 'different cultures' bit because we are a two-culture family living in a third culture, and quite honestly, we're just making it up as we go along, with not much reference at all to where we come from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T12:48:45.250" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20483" CreationDate="2015-06-08T13:21:35.080" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;No it's not a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's getting enough sleep. She's active when she's awake. And she's happy when she sleeps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many places in the world where her afternoon-nap-late-to-bed pattern applies to adults too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, it might be a 'social' problem if she is supposed to be at school and awake. But (I'm biased), that's a problem with society, not with her. (We were very fortunate that our child's first teacher was totally un-fussed about our daughter not turning up in the afternoon if she fell asleep at home - she said she'd rather have pupils sleeping in their beds than at their desks)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T13:21:35.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18874" CreationDate="2015-06-08T13:44:08.707" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question is interesting because from the child's point of view the problem is almost identical to adoption. But that is an advantage, because as others have pointed out, there are mountains of resources for parents wondering how to broach the subject of adoption with their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I very much agree that you need to separate the 'where do I come from' discussion from the 'birds and the bees': Simply because he needs to start learning the truth about where he comes from &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; he's likely to be interested in the mechanics of how it happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Close friends who have adopted children have used a simple photo album: in their case with photos of the orphanage, of the personnel who cared for their child during the first months/years, photos of the trip the parents made to go and get their child etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has many advantages:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's something the child can return to regularly, and with each telling, the story can gain more detail as and when the child grows&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It breaks the ice of 'how do I bring up the subject?'. Here's an album of photos, this is you when you were little, who's that man? Oh, he was your first Daddy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's so much easier to tell a story like this sitting side by side looking at a book, than face to face.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Erica voiced concerns about 'triggering', but I think that if the photo (one solitary photo) is in an album rather than on a wall, that would not be such an issue. And if you have been worrying about this for 5 years, it sounds like you're pretty triggered-up already as it is!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only other thing I'd add is avoid trying to 'get it over and done with': obviously it's a subject you want to 'evacuate' and never have to think about again. But your child is going to need to assimilate this information slowly, over years, and too much information too fast is not going to help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edgar is gone, but he is still present and will be for many years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorUserId="691" LastEditDate="2015-06-09T04:34:35.053" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T04:34:35.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20646" CreationDate="2015-06-08T14:00:10.573" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not sure where you are based, but I know some parents who have tried a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=bedwetting+alarm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bedwetting alarm&lt;/a&gt;, which is basically a humidity detector connected to an alarm, which either wakes the child, or wakes the parents who then have to go and wake the child. (I guess it also requires that the bedwetting starts with a drip or a dribble and not the full Niagara)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T14:00:10.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20655" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-08T14:46:06.053" Score="5" ViewCount="1845" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7-year-old boy. I don't know if of any relevance, but he has mild dyspraxia. He seems to cry at the least little things,  e.g.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His younger sister teasing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Slightest little scratch when playing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dies in a computer game.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bedtime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I toughen him a bit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16700" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-03T13:18:57.790" LastActivityDate="2019-04-03T13:22:25.273" Title="How to toughen my too sensitive 7-year-old boy a bit?" Tags="|primary-schooler|crying|coping|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-08T15:26:45.207" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dad is a source of pain and unhappiness, and the infant has associated dad with this pain and unhappiness. You don't give us clues as to whether the only pain and unhappiness is just the spanking, or if there are activities the father has the infant participate in that the infant doesn't like.  It could merely be that it's infrequent enough and the infant's needs aren't met with the father, so the baby complains, or it could be more serious and the father is a source of pain - whether spanking or worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the key takeaway though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't quickly change the infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The father has to change and build a different relationship with the child than the one he's built already. Whatever has happened in the past, and whatever is happening, is what has taught the infant that dad is something to complain about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either you, the baby, and dad can stick it out and teach the child over the next year or two that things aren't going to change, and eventually the child will learn that this is simply part of life and they'd better follow the rules (being quiet and pretending to enjoy their time with dad) or be punished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or you, the baby, and dad can change how dad is taking care of the baby, how the dad acts and reacts.  Spanking a baby in order to quiet them is probably not as effective as some other methods dad could try.  Perhaps he could take a parenting class that would give him the tools, skills, and knowledge on how to build a positive relationship with his infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's going to take time and patience. You can't fix it for him.  So unless you can convince him to take the time and to be patient, then chances are there's nothing you can do but watch from the sidelines as you have been if you intend to keep letting them have alone time together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T15:26:45.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20646" CreationDate="2015-06-08T15:28:25.843" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar situation. We survived. Most nights are dry now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me get the bad news out first: There are a few children that will be bed-wetting until their teens. A few. &lt;em&gt;Very, very few.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a similar problem and worked closely with our trusted pediatrician. There is one thing to keep in mind: Dry nights are a combination of&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;reduced urine production during sleep&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(can be somewhat influenced by drinking the bulk of water earlier in the day, but only to a degree and in very hard cases chemically by prescription meds) and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;a wake-up reflex triggered by a full bladder.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both are essentially brain functions that need to develop and there is little you can do to speed this up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contrary to popular belief, waking a child on a schedule can counteract the development of this mechanism - instead of letting the bladder trigger the wake-up, you do it even when it's not &quot;full&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped us was watching / listening to our child. Shortly before the accident he would start to become restless, squirm or sigh in his sleep. &lt;em&gt;Then&lt;/em&gt; we helped him to wake up &quot;more&quot; (not neccessarily fully awake - we can use the bathroom half-asleep, too) and go to the bathroom. We tried to let him do as much as possible himself, helping the synapses to grow. Had to &lt;em&gt;steer&lt;/em&gt; him in the right direction occasionally, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Bed-wetting &quot;Alarms&quot; or &quot;Pads&quot; work in a similar way: When a child needs to &quot;go&quot; and wets the bed, it wakes the child with a loud! alarm, trying to enforce the &quot;need to pee&quot; sensation with waking up, thus training the brain development. Your child falls into the typical age range where pediatricians start to recommend these tools (they don't work if the child is too young, they need to be &quot;at the brink&quot; of making the mental connection). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So either try the &quot;vigil&quot; (no need to sit next to him, a babyphone / open door will do) or talk to your pediatrician. Additionally, having his hormones checked could be a supporting strategy: The nightly urine production is regulated by a certain hormone which can, in some cases, be supplied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-21T15:07:45.427" LastActivityDate="2018-09-21T15:07:45.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-08T15:29:37.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Subjecting a child to emotional or physical abuse is absolutely not acceptable, it creates long lasting psychological issues which stay with them throughout their life. As stated by others in this thread, the safety of this child is first and foremost and trumps any other legal rights that either parent may have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be prudent for both yourself and the father to attend a &quot;positive parenting&quot; programme, which will educate you both on what the need of a child are, both emotionally and physically. As a precaution, you should seek legal advice on enforcing supervised contact, until there is a noticeable change in the fathers behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as others stated, you need to try and build a positive relationship with the father and present a united front. Children will pick up on negative vibes, and it has a dramatic impact on their personality in future. Arguing in front of the child, in any capacity, is &lt;strong&gt;not acceptable&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a final note, you may find it useful to read up on baby/child psychology, it will give you a better understand on how your situation may impact the child and ways to compensate for it. The positive parenting classes will also help you with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12003" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T15:29:37.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20659" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-08T15:32:52.543" Score="7" ViewCount="919" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am recently divorced and have one child. My ex-husband had our son every other weekend for the full weekend and lately he has been bringing him back earlier on a Saturday instead of a Sunday. I feel sad for my son because his time is being shortened and it isn't fair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son came home and told me that his dad now lives with a woman and that they are expecting a child together. I am guessing this may be why he is spending less time with him but this is his child too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way I can ensure that his dad continues to have full weekends with him. I feel that our son needs to spend time with his dad as well as me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16702" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T14:56:17.560" Title="My son's dad is spending less time with him lately" Tags="|divorce|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-08T18:07:14.847" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would call child support services, and let them know you suspect the father of your child is abusing him.  Explain what you've seen (the spanking), as well as the baby's fear of spending time with the parent.  Ask what next steps are.  I would also consult a lawyer and see what you need to do to protect your infant.  Courts can require all visits to be supervised (not by you) in the event of suspected abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is really nothing you can do or have done that would make your baby fear its father.  It's about the relationship between baby and father, which you have no control over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16704" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T18:07:14.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20655" CreationDate="2015-06-08T19:22:59.637" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;OK, you could &lt;em&gt;TRY&lt;/em&gt; to get your child to learn to play slaps.  Just don't go too fast or too hard.  Toughened my friends two young boys right up.  Crying and laughing through the pain.  :)  Good times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games that are impossible and have no win condition but only a score and are sufficiently fast paced might help.  Missile Command and Robotron-2048 come to mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pillow fights, tickle fights, playing with empty cardboard tubes as swords.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sensitive is OK.  Fragile isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't overdo it, and try and understand your child.  Kindness is the most important thing with kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nerf guns.  Paper triangle napkin football.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11554" LastEditorUserId="11554" LastEditDate="2019-03-18T12:59:17.433" LastActivityDate="2019-03-18T12:59:17.433" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10462" CreationDate="2015-06-08T19:36:05.627" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have gone through this with my daughter.  Take away the phones, screens and TVs.  Give a hug and be understanding if they feel overwhelmed.  Have them get up the same time every day.  Let them stay up as late as they like but they WILL be up by whatever time it is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If push comes to shove lock them out of their room, let them go in to get clothes or whatever for 5 minutes in the morning.  Let them use their room for sleeping and that's it.   Have them spend some time every day getting organized and make it part of their routine.  Have them go through their stuff before school and when they get home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fighting and screaming is not how to parent.  In fact LOWER your voice.  Pause before you say things.  Remain calm.  Make them listen to you.  As my wife says you have to parent up.  Demand respect.  Also GIVE respect.  You may need to stress your disappointment with their poor performance but don't do their work for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11554" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-06-09T15:55:59.000" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T15:55:59.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20399" CreationDate="2015-06-08T19:49:18.563" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow.  This is a strange question.  Keeping the magic alive is pretty hard to do.  Here is the best explanation I've seen of why you shouldn't discourage belief in little things like magic and fairies:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE&#xA;LITTLE LIES.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;So we can believe the big ones?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;They're not the same at all!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST&#xA;POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE&#xA;ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand.&#xA;AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF&#xA;THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE&#xA;JUDGED.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;MY POINT EXACTLY.” &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Terry Pratchett, &lt;em&gt;Hogfather&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11554" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T19:49:18.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-08T21:45:47.497" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Key words: &quot;every time he comes to visit.&quot; Kids are scared of people they don't see often. If dad is around more often, baby will stop being scared. You should probably try to be around Dad more often and show him some affection, because then baby will learn to be affectionate as well. But for goodness sakes don't discipline an 11 month old for being scared - that will only make it worse. Also, you should try to stop being anxious about it yourself, because the baby can read your anxiety better than you might expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a former educator and father of 3. Don't doubt me here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13929" LastActivityDate="2015-06-08T21:45:47.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20659" CreationDate="2015-06-08T23:49:59.517" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As everybody who has more than one children knows, you can love several children at the same time. You love them differently, but equally hard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if your son's father recently spends less time with his son, the question to be asked is: &lt;em&gt;Why?&lt;/em&gt; Why does he seem to be unable to love the child he has as much as he used to now that he is expecting another child? We know it is possible to love both, so there must be a reason for him loosening the contact to his son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it too complicated for him to have his child around? (If so, &lt;em&gt;why?&lt;/em&gt;) Is his new girlfriend against your son? (If so, &lt;em&gt;why?&lt;/em&gt; I know from first-hand experience that children other than your own can enrich your own children's lives, rather than diminishing it.) What else could be between your son and his father? How can you (plural) find out and remove the obstacle? Is he someone you (singular) can talk to about it? Is she? Are you? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are questions we cannot answer. Of course, you might not be able to answer them right away either. But you are in a much better position to find out than we are. It's very likely the best if you could manage to speak together about it. The &lt;em&gt;three&lt;/em&gt; adults involved. Even if that hurts whomever of the three. If needed, search counseling, a moderator – whatever it takes. Because this is about raising a child. And almost nothing in the world is more important than this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's not kid ourselves: The boy certainly will be better off with having both a mother &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; a father caring for him. And the experience of a smaller sibling, another household to learn (and influence) the rules of, more people to emotionally attach to, can enrich his life more than the mourning about the lost traditional family might hurt him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you cannot solve this, make sure you prepare to try to compensate for the loss of a parent later. This might require help, so be sure you know where you can get help, should such a problem arise suddenly. (Needing help, BTW, would not be a sign of an inability on your side, but on the importance of the role the father would be dodging.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an afterthought, a few thoughts to what you wrote in your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My son came home and told me that his dad now lives with a woman and that they are expecting a child together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be very enriching for your son and for his new sibling. I have children from two different mothers, and the children dearly love each other and care for each other. And seeing this, what do you think can the two mothers feel towards the children which are not their own, but loved by her own? So in case it hurts you to see him have another family: Maybe it helps you to see that, for your son, this it could be very good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there a way I can ensure that his dad continues to have full weekends with him. I feel that our son needs to spend time with his dad as well as me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is great to hear that you want your child to see his father regularly! And, yes, as all children he needs to feel loved by both his parents. Unfortunately, if the father truly doesn't want it, there is very little that you can do. So what remains is what I wrote above: Find out why this is happening, try to remove the obstacles, if possible. (Note: There are legal measures here in Germany and I heard of a case where a mother made the court order the father to spend time with his child under the watch of the authorities. Whether this helps the child can certainly be doubted, though.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-06-09T14:56:17.560" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T14:56:17.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20670" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-09T06:01:20.420" Score="2" ViewCount="590" Body="&lt;p&gt;In India, it is a common practice for adults to live with their parents. Why is it frowned upon in USA? Is it a good practice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11929" LastEditorUserId="11929" LastEditDate="2015-06-15T06:23:04.713" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T06:23:04.713" Title="Should an adult child live with parents?" Tags="|adult-child|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2015-06-09T16:37:41.460" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20670" CreationDate="2015-06-09T07:00:37.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ahh. Culture. I think its less the fact that you're living with your parents, than &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In india, in general you live with your parents (or live with you) often so you can take care of them. There's also a very different expectation of &quot;private space&quot; - kids tend to share rooms from what I've seen. You eventually move out when you get your own family, but at some point, grandparents move in and a extended, multigenerational family was a norm, least until very recently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(In this case I'm speaking broadly. Please feel free to correct me in the comments) In the US, I'd suspect there's a perception that you're living with your parents cause &lt;em&gt;you can't move out&lt;/em&gt;.  You may have a job, but there might be an idea that you're being at least a bit parasitic, or co-dependant with your parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; live with my parents, and the attitude between how people react to me when I was working for my folks (or as many assumed, not at all) and when I work elsewhere is very different. At some point I'm moving out (tho, I live in a small country), and while I'll be up to some stuff my parents wouldn't approve of in their house (like finally getting a small lathe!), I'll likely maintain fairly close links with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9886" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T07:00:37.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20646" CreationDate="2015-06-09T11:00:08.650" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there's no medical reason for the bed wetting I would suggest an alarm style system to wake the child up when they begin to wet the bed. I had the same problem for many years (into my early teens) and went to the doctors frequently but no issues were found, I tried several medicines to no effect. My parents tried most of the tactics you've tried and from personal experience it does nothing but make your child feel uncomfortable or bad about something they have no control over and want to stop doing anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went to an enuresis expert and got a little liquid sensitive alarm that you simply put between two pairs of underwear and attached the buzzer to a pyjama top. As soon as the alarm wakes you up you recognise the feeling of a full/bursting bladder and also stop peeing. After a fairly short time my body learned not necessarily to wake up to go for a pee per say but NOT to relax and start going when the bladder was full. It didn't change my sleeping pattern at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16713" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T11:00:08.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3614" CreationDate="2015-06-09T11:03:18.047" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there's no medical reason for the bed wetting I would persist with an alarm style system to wake the child up when they begin to wet the bed. I had the same problem for many years (into my early teens) and went to the doctors frequently but no issues were found, I tried several medicines to no effect. My parents tried most of the tactics regarding recording good/bad nights etc and from personal experience it does nothing but make your child feel uncomfortable or bad about something they have no control over and want to stop doing anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went to an enuresis expert and got a little liquid sensitive alarm that you simply put between two pairs of underwear and attached the buzzer to a pyjama top. As soon as the alarm wakes you up you recognise the feeling of a full/bursting bladder and also stop peeing. After a fairly short time my body learned not necessarily to wake up to go for a pee per say but NOT to relax and start going when the bladder was full. It didn't change my sleeping pattern at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16713" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T11:03:18.047" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12434" CreationDate="2015-06-09T13:49:53.407" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, drooling and sucking fingers are very common habits. At the time of teething, sucking fingers helps soothe sore gums and is a baby's way of calming himself. Drooling is common but if your baby is in danger of choking or gagging or if he finds any difficulty in breathing then you should consult your doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sucking fingers is not a problem but drooling if it is excess then consult your doctor once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T13:49:53.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-09T14:26:33.870" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me this sounds like the father has got some anger issues. I wish you the best of luck and recommend counselling or supervised visits rather than just letting them go. If he's getting upset and wanting to spank or hit the little one for being afraid of him...then there's probably a reason that the kid is afraid of him. Maybe something that's happened when you're not around. It sounds like he's got the fear of God put into him by his dad...it doesn't mean he's a horrible human necesssarily (but maybe) but it DOES mean he probably doesn't need to be spending unsupervised time alone with someone too small to defend himself or speak out about it. Put the child's safety first, no matter HOW uncomfortable it may be for you to do so. Stand up for him, because he has no one else to do it and he may end up paying the price if you decide it's just nicer to keep your mouth shut. Don't put his life at risk. I speak from experience and have seen some VERY bad situations go down because one parent didn't want to step on the other one's toes. Defend that baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16715" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T14:26:33.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20655" CreationDate="2015-06-09T16:17:19.173" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year-old is like that, although not quite as severe.  We are still working on it.  I don't think anything can be done to suppress the initial inclination to cry, but he can control it somewhat based on social expectations.  For example, he will usually stop almost immediately if asked.  That sounds simple, but it doesn't occur to a lot of parents to ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of the problem in our case is inconsistency between the parents.  My son rarely cries for me, because he knows it annoys me.  However, my wife, knowing my son's tendency to cry easily, often assumes he is not really feeling bad about behavior she is correcting unless he is crying, so he cries very readily for her.  My advice is to examine each parent's and caregiver's responses to see if you're encouraging it somehow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing to keep in mind is kids often cry because they don't know an alternative.  You need to teach what &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; do, not just what &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to do.  I try to say something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I can't understand what you're saying if you cry.  After you stop crying, then you can tell me what's wrong.  Does crying help you get what you want?  Does it make your sister stop teasing you?  What do you think you could do instead?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach is gradually giving him fewer and fewer situations where he doesn't know what else to do but cry.  Primarily it's when he gets in trouble now.  Mostly, I'm just counting on him growing out of it as he gains emotional maturity.  Seven or eight is still pretty young.  I don't think there's cause for concern until after puberty.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T16:17:19.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20677" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-09T16:44:23.693" Score="13" ViewCount="48830" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3 boys, one a 6 year old. My husband and I are very positive people and try and do a lot with our children, and give each child equal attention. The concerns I have with my 6 year old son are based on his listening, lack of focus and most recently the following bad behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the past two years our oldest son has had trouble listening and focusing when you would speak to him. I know it sounds typical; we would joke that he has &quot;selective hearing&quot;. But if we say something simple to him (with eye contact) then ask him to repeat, his response is &quot;I don't know&quot; or &quot;umm... I forgot&quot;. When you need him to stay and focus on something he would have to do something else quickly because he can't help it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, he is the same way in school. Example: his school has a fire drill and the kids are to stay in line. My son sees an ant hill and has to walk over to it and check it out. The teacher tells him to get back in line but then a second later he does it again. The teacher asks him why is he disobeying what she asks and his response is &quot;I don't know&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is a good boy, but unfortunately also has a problem with following bad behavior, which is our biggest issue, from particular children in his school: he likes to do things that make people laugh. Like being silly in a fun way, or doing something inappropriate (like making noises with his mouth). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've recently gotten emails from his teacher saying &quot;he has been very disruptive in her class, following others' bad behavior and makes many inappropriate noises.&quot; We try to remind him every day that it's rude and disrespectful to act that way. We ask him if he likes getting into trouble? Does he like copying the bad kids (he names the bad kids on request, which we are aware are the trouble makers)? Does he like it when Mommy and Daddy get upset? Do you like to have fun and do fun things, because bad behavior doesn't deserve fun? Do you like when Mommy and Daddy talk to you in the morning about being an awesome boy and have a great day? We try not to sound negative and try and speak calmly but we get to a point were we feel like when we speak to him, while he says he cares, we don't feel that he does. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've done time outs and daily good behavior charts. We've awarded little prizes on good behavior. We've tried so many options and it's just making us sad and scared for the boy he'll become. We know he's a good boy; he just needs to show it more and stop copying others' wrong doing just to get a laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recently called his pediatrician to see what we should do about his listening, focus and behavior thinking it's related with ADHD. I was referred to have a Neuro Sociological Evaluation done, which I'm still waiting to get through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry for the request on so much info, but we're coming to a halt on what to do next. I'm open to suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16718" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-03T18:55:15.610" LastActivityDate="2018-11-03T18:55:15.610" Title="What to do about my 6-year-old son with listening, focus and behavioral issues?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|focus|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20678" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20686" CreationDate="2015-06-09T17:35:23.063" Score="9" ViewCount="1110" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest child (5 year and a half son) has been more agitated lately in pre-kindergarden and often will make other kids laugh or disrupt activities in class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been getting more feedback like this lately (from his teacher) and it is a bit discouraging for me and my girlfriend as I am unsure how to tackle this and we are afraid this behavior is going to carry on in kindergarden.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have talked to him a couple of times already about the fact that it is not acceptable to disrupt classroom like he does (or talkback to his teacher). However, as much as he seems to understand it is not fun to get distracted like that (I made him relate to the fact that he doesn't like when his two years old sister talks during the time I read them stories for instance) he keeps doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Background information:&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes to pre-kindergarden twice a week (during the morning). My girlfriend is a stay-at-home mom and we also have two daughters. We get weekly report cards from the teacher and they used to be positive but, as stated above, lately he has been &quot;losing stars&quot; on his cards. &lt;em&gt;He knows he's going to school soon (in September) so we are thinking it might be related to anxiety&lt;/em&gt; (new stuff tends to makes him anxious but he breaks the ice quite easily). For the last two or so weeks, he started crying when my girlfriend leaves from the pre-kindergarden class. He will sometimes hug her leg, just like little kids do when they are younger (again, separation anxiety?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Additional information:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's always happy in class and participates a lot, he just seems not to listen to instruction or disrupt activities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His teacher told us that our son had talked back to him (ex:&quot;Let's do activity A&quot;, (him) &quot;No I won't&quot;). And sometimes just laugh at instructions given to him. This is something I realized we had a problem with a while ago. I used to let him argue with me. However, I have tried to eliminate that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is a smart kid, and has got a whole lot of stimulation when he was younger. During diner, he often talks on an on. Out of my 3 kids, I would say he is the one who requires the most attention still.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have an anxious personality. While I try to control myself and not let it show to him. I am afraid he can still sense it sometimes. I would not say, him going to kindergarden is something that makes me anxious however.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I do not see this has a huge problem (since this is pre-kindergarden) I don't want it to snowball. I also do not like the fact that he might be bothering other kids or be impolite to his teacher. Could any of you shed some light of what we might be doing wrong or what we could be doing to help the situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDITED To Add:&lt;/strong&gt; Nothing new or odd is happening aside from the from the fact that I think he is more aware that school is starting soon. It's good to note that we had remarks similar to the one above from his teacher before (or other play groups), but it just wasn't a common occurrence. At least to me it was more normal. As far as discipline; it's normally time out alone in his room if he's too agitated or if he hits/hurt he would go in the corner. We do use the reward system from time to time (grid with sticker, etc). I've stopped arguing at home by simply letting him know that no means no. For instance if he asks for the tablet and I don't want him to, I used to argue on the reasons of why he could not have it with him. Now I will tell him, for example, &quot;you can't have the tablet because reason X&quot;. If he try to argue about it, I will ask him &quot;what did I just tell you?&quot;, to which he will repeat what I just said for instance, and I simply let him know that my answers stays the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16717" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-10T17:19:30.407" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T05:07:18.077" Title="How to improve my 5 year old son's behavior in pre-kindergarden?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-09T17:59:58.327" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar experience with my son.  It's an unpopular opinion among school teachers, but what you need to realize is &lt;em&gt;parents can't control how a six year-old acts at school.&lt;/em&gt;  Kids that age simply don't think that far ahead, especially kids with ADHD.  They very much live in the moment.  What might happen this evening at home has &lt;em&gt;zero bearing&lt;/em&gt; on his decisions this morning.  Behavior needs to be shaped by the adults he is with at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can express support for the teacher.  You can enforce good behavior at home.  You can do make-up work at home.  You can role play proper responses.  You can tell the teacher what works for you.  Take it from me, though, punishments, rewards, or discussions long after the event won't help, will only stress everyone out, and will reinforce the idea in your son's mind that he has no control over his own behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So changes need to be made at school, and an evaluation for ADHD is a good start to making those accommodations happen.  Those doctors will be able to make specific recommendations, but some of the following are common:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More breaks for unstructured physical activity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disallowing counter-productive punishments like missing recess, in favor of better alternatives.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allowing the child to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/3967.html&quot;&gt;fidget&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Assignments more targeted to individual interests.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Written checklists and instructions instead of oral instructions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Communicating expectations about attention beforehand.  &quot;I'm going to tell you something, then ask you to repeat what I said.  Are you ready?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trying different kinds of responses to attention-seeking behavior, like ignoring or a silent head shake.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Assignments with more rapid feedback, like a computer math program that immediately tells you if you made a mistake.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teachers used to have more latitude to make these kinds of accommodations for &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; child, with or without a diagnosis, but the unfortunate political reality is that's not generally the case any more.  Academics are being moved earlier, to the detriment of kids like your son.  It's stressing out teachers too, who are burning out sooner.  You may have to fight hard for these sorts of accommodations.  We opted to homeschool instead, and have been happier all around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T17:59:58.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-09T18:08:23.560" Score="23" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We know he's a good boy; he just needs to show it more and stop copying others wrong doing just to get a laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no doubt that he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a good boy. Asking him if he likes getting into trouble or making Mommy and Daddy upset are questions that he probably can't resolve with his behavior right now and probably make him feel like a bad son, so I would suggest you not send him mixed messages - either he is a good boy (and you know his inability to live up to your expectations displeases him), or he's not, because at this age, children can still be very black-and-white in their thinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son seems to have a significant problem with &lt;em&gt;impulsivity&lt;/em&gt;, which is not the same as being bad, disrespectful, rude, or unloving. I would be much more concerned if he was aggressive towards peers or younger children or openly defiant (being curious about an ant hill and leaving a line to examine it is an example of poor impulse control; if he defied his teacher, said something smart, and stayed at the ant hill instead of obeying; I would be much more concerned.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, he can't seem to help his wandering thoughts and his impulses. Please, for his sake and your own, don't equate these behaviors with bad behaviors. He will come to this conclusion often enough himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that he has a good grasp of &quot;feeling words&quot;, so that when asking him the &quot;why&quot; of something, he has an adequate vocabulary from which to answer. Not having the proper vocabulary inhibits communication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read (here and elsewhere) about ADHD and impulsivity. Many parents have been in your shoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have him tested, and ask for training/counseling for both your child and yourselves, so that together, you can encourage pro-social behavior and promote a positive self image with realistic goal-setting. Keep his teachers up to date on his strengths and weaknesses and include them in goal-setting, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time heals many problems. He may be able to do very well with a few more years of development. It's important to give him the opportunity to grow before he forms a negative self-image. And for what time can't heal, there is therapy, training, and help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T18:08:23.560" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-09T18:41:50.657" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm guessing you're going to find strong ADHD indicators when you get the results back.  The selective hearing, inability to focus and tendency to be distracted from what he is supposed to be doing are pretty classic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your pediatrician will be able to help you and him develop coping mechanisms for his ADHD (if that's the diagnosis).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the goofing off and funny noises may just be an excess of boy-ness.  My son has the same problem.  He literally can't seem to help himself; whatever he is doing he just ends up making noises.  I ask him why he does it and he says he doesn't know.  It just happens.  We call them &quot;boy noises&quot; (my husband is also guilty of this, though to a lesser degree).  It's probably sexist to call them &quot;boy&quot; noises (I'm sure there are girls who do the same) but we have just observed that boys seem more likely to exhibit attention-getting behaviors through random noises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was getting a fair amount of negative feedback and so were we (he was about six when it started getting bad).  His problem was apparently &quot;blurting&quot;.  The school implemented a behavioral report card for all children with behavioral problems.  They divided it up into early morning, first recess, late morning, lunch, after lunch, 2nd recess and special class (music, etc).  They gave numeric scores (1-5).  We instituted a strong reward system based on how he did each day, with a listed set of rewards and punishments (30 minutes early bedtime for average score below 2.5, 15 min extra TV time for average score above 4, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took a while but eventually he learned not to be disruptive in class.  I don't know if your school has something like that available, but you might ask.  The important thing is that you stay firm and fair and above all, consistent.  Also, you and the school need to be a team.  Make sure you let them know that you are there to support their efforts in creating an atmosphere conducive to learning, and make sure your son knows it as well.  One of the things that I've heard over and over from teachers (and even to a greater degree from sports coaches) is that the biggest problem they face in their job environment is the parents.  If you can become &quot;part of the solution instead of part of the problem&quot; I've noticed they will be far more likely to go out of their way to include you, and they will be far more open to what you have to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a suggestion - it sounds like your son, like most kids, is looking for a way to stand out and be noticed.  Every child wants the approval of his or her peers.  However, this is the very sort of thing that causes disruption in class.  Maybe you can help him find ways to stand out for things that aren't as disruptive.  Show and tell is always a great tool for that.  Help him come up with something that will have them talking for a week about it.  Maybe he will have suggestions as to how he can get more &quot;good&quot; attention.  Let him know that you understand how much fun it is to have people pay attention (and instead of following up with a 'but these are the wrong ways to get it' instead follow up with 'and here are some fun ways to do it').&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example: Is he a performer?  Maybe you could help him come up with a puppet-onna-icecreamstick show for Show and Tell.  Show him how to get his friends involved (pick two kids to hold the cow and the donkey puppets and tell them when to say moo/hee-haw).  Have him ask the teacher to participate; the sight of their teacher making moo-ing noises ought to make the entire class laugh. (you might want to give her a heads-up beforehand and ask for her help)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However you do it, it's easier to influence someone if you are channeling  and directing, not blocking.  Use what's already there and see how you can turn it from something negative to something positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And one last thing...don't worry too much.  Most of these behavioral issues sort themselves out as long as you continue to follow the principles of good parenting, and it sounds like you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T18:41:50.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20604" CreationDate="2015-06-09T18:42:13.653" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Define &quot;not often at all.&quot;  If there's a month between visits, to an 11 month old, that's eternity.  That &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be stranger danger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I disagree with the &quot;feeling the need to spank our son to make him hush,&quot; mentality.  Eleven-month olds have needs.  They're not spoiled nor have the capability to cry/whine to get what they want.  In other words, there's something the baby &lt;strong&gt;needs&lt;/strong&gt;, whether that be just more time spent with you + dad (the baby needs to know this person is okay, but if you give off the vibe that the &quot;stranger&quot; is not okay, then the baby won't trust the dad either).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You really should have the three of you play for nearly an hour before you let him go w/ the father.  Make sure the baby is fed and well rested too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you sense the baby is still terrified of the father after the visit, then I'd start to be concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've never had major issues leaving our (almost 2 yo) daughter with others, but we stick around for a good 30 minutes and let her warm up to the new person, plus get the new person to be more fun than us.  She's happy to tell us goodbye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would guess your contentious relationship definitely doesn't help, nor does the &quot;discipline (arguably abuse).&quot;  Who would want to go with someone Mommy hates and then gets spanked while protesting?  I feel really awful for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16720" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T18:42:13.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3702" CreationDate="2015-06-09T18:53:11.260" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of good answers to the clothing part, but I would like to add some additional stuff about the 'wailing until someone does it' part. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;18 months, for both my kids, were the start of their independence and really attempting to communicate. She has discovered &lt;em&gt;a desire or need&lt;/em&gt; (to take her clothes off) and a way to &lt;em&gt;communicate&lt;/em&gt; it (wailing). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may only marginally be about taking the clothes off, and more about &lt;em&gt;being understood&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been somewhat successful in using 'the fast food rule' from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553384422&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Happiest Toddler on the Block&lt;/a&gt;, where you repeat their statement/need first (like in a fast food place), and then go on:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sweetie, I know you want to take all your clothes off, but you have to wear them since we have guests.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or whatever explanation you may want to use. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't, but at 18 months she is right at the age where she just want to be understood. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T18:53:11.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20678" CreationDate="2015-06-09T19:04:11.420" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to be fairly common for boys of that age to start getting disruptive. (Not that girls can't be disruptive too, but it's less common for girls to directly act out that way - &lt;a href=&quot;http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/marianne.bertrand/research/papers/the%20trouble%20with%20boys.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/marianne.bertrand/research/papers/the%20trouble%20with%20boys.pdf&lt;/a&gt; )  It's good that you are addressing the problem early.  Having the report card is a great start.  Now, what do you do about it when you get the card?  Simply getting a piece of paper isn't going to mean anything to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's very young now, but setting the groundwork for kindergarten and later years is very important.  Show him that you are a part of what is happening at school, and that will give you far more influence over how he behaves there.  Show him that you are going to back up his teachers, and he will be more likely to listen to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rewards are far more effective than punishment, and so I would set up a consistent and very visible system of rewards for a good &quot;report card&quot;.  What does he love?  Offer him more of it (you may have to cut back at first just to set up the contrast).  As an example, we use electronics as a reward for our son.  He would watch TV and play video games all day if he could.  We cut him way back to nearly nothing (as a result of bad behavior) and now he has to earn all his time.  This has produced a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; positive change in him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you could offer some sweet treat that you don't like him to have normally (if you have all stars on your report card I will take you to Baskin Robbins for ice cream).  Or an outing (all stars gets you a trip to the bouncy house).  Or a choice (all stars means you get to pick where we go out to dinner on our Saturday lunch).  Offer lesser versions of the rewards for lesser performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to clearly define what is expected, what the reward (or punishment, if that becomes necessary) and to &lt;em&gt;absolutely&lt;/em&gt; stick to it.  If something is to be an effective reward he can't be thinking he can just wheedle it out of you if he falls short.  That will undermine its effectiveness.  And just as important, if he earns it you need to deliver or you'll lose his trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't sound as if you are doing anything wrong.  He's approaching the cusp of independence (a little early by most standards (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/five/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/five/&lt;/a&gt;) but every child develops differently) and these behaviors are to be anticipated.  All you need to do is learn how to gently channel your little guy down a path that leads to a more mature set of behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr Sears has some advice on how to deal with disruption in school (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-disruptive-in-school&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-disruptive-in-school&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good reference on six year old emotional development (I know your son is five but he may be progressing just a bit ahead of schedule): &lt;a href=&quot;http://childparenting.about.com/od/physicalemotionalgrowth/a/6-Year-Old-Child-Emotional-Development.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://childparenting.about.com/od/physicalemotionalgrowth/a/6-Year-Old-Child-Emotional-Development.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2015-06-10T18:39:39.937" LastActivityDate="2015-06-10T18:39:39.937" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20598" CreationDate="2015-06-09T19:47:41.357" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems you are looking for pro/con of different ways to take care of your baby while working. The 3 main solutions for infant care in the US (and many other places) are: A nanny (child minder who comes to your home), a home based day-care (your child goes to someone else's home where they have a couple of children to look after), a day care (child goes to a professional facility to be looked after).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some pro and cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nanny&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Pros:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child is in you own home, and you know the environment. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child may be exposed to fewer germs. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child will be getting one on one time with an adult caregiver.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It might be easier to accommodate a special feeding or sleeping schedule.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You control which toys your child plays with. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You do not have to commute your child somewhere. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Depending on the deal and payment of the nanny, she might be able to help out with some household tasks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Cons:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have no 'double control' of the adult with your child (only one adult)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You need a backup plan to allow for vacation and sick time for your nanny. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child will miss out on social interactions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Unless hired through an agency, you have to manage payment of an employee. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have to background check the nanny.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have to interview the nanny, and personally figure out what good skills are for a nanny (what training does she have, what will she teach the baby?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is hard to know what a nanny does with your child, and if she interacts with the child as promised (save of installing cameras all over, but you will want her to take the child outside too)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Potential high cost&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Home based day-care (licensed)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Pros:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Low number of kids for one adult (ideally). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More personal care for your child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lower cost than a nanny&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Social interaction for you child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Cons:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Less 'one on one' time for the child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have to transport your child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There may be children at a very wide age range&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Care giver may or may not have educational background in taking care of kids&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You are still hiring primarily a person, and not a service, so you have to interview carefully. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Day care&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Pros:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lots of social interaction, with kids of same age.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;day care center takes care of employment issues&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you have to only inquire about teaching/child care philosophy, and professionals make the judgement call (aka interview) if individual teachers fulfill it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Usually more than one adult at a time is around the children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many places video monitor classrooms. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Transition to going to a pre-school is less stressful. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;May have a food program&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teachers usually have an education background in child care or childhood development. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Cons:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More children per teacher (though sometimes actually less than at a home day care)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More germs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You have to transport your child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can be less personal care for your child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Special commendations (for instance for feeding, sleeping, use of cloth diapers) might not be able to be met. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally find the idea that I, personally, have to select and interview a single person daunting, which is why my children are in daycare. I find it easier to trust a group of people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all cases, the nanny/day care should be licensed, and you should inquire about this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope the community can add to this list. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other possible arrangements&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;having a family member take care of your children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;working from home with a nanny there&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;becoming a stay at home mom&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T19:47:41.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-09T21:12:49.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to focus on two specific things that have been brought up in other answers, and go in more detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on behaviors, not labels.  This is true for adults as much as children.  If someone says you are &quot;lazy&quot; or &quot;good&quot; or &quot;bad&quot;, it's hard to take action based on that.  It's also easy to internalize that label and decide that it's just part of your nature - and even easier for a kid, who's used to black or white things (Of course the Joker wants to kill everyone in Gotham, he's a bad guy, that's what he does.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actions can be taken based on specific behaviors.  &quot;Can you focus on standing straight in line when you're waiting for a drink of water with your class?&quot;  That's specifically actionable.  He can actively think about it while going to stand in line, and you can have a &quot;report&quot; on the specific behavior afterwards.  Maybe you work on one specific situation at a time - this week you work on standing in line at the water fountain, next week you work on paying attention while teacher reads stories.  Have specific goals - &quot;go a week while standing within one foot of where you should be standing, with your body within 20 degrees of straight, during every water break.&quot;  Have an allowance for failure that is not too strict.  And, most importantly, get the teacher in on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the second point I wanted to bring up: none of this will work unless you and the teacher are on the same page.  You can't watch him during class.  You can't evaluate his success.  You can't give him immediate feedback.  His teacher needs to be on board, both to help give feedback on what needs improving and on whether he's improved.  This also helps point out to the teacher where he &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; improved - it can be easy to not notice improvements in behavior if a child is 99% good but still has those 1% of failures, those 1% are much more noticeable with 20-25 kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get a meeting with the teacher, and bring a plan.  Don't be inflexible with that plan, of course, if the teacher has good advice or suggestions; but definitely have a plan when you walk into the meeting so you are more likely to be successful.  Tell the teacher what you need from her/him, and ask what information that you need to make it a good plan (in particular, ask what very specific behaviors you can use for your list of things to work on).  Get their buy-in on implementing the plan.  Be very specific as to what you need from them - in terms of feedback and in terms of helping him be successful and giving him immediate feedback.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you've ever had management training in your job, I recommend looking back at that and thinking about how that can be useful - all of the above comes from the same basic approach.  It may be easiest to treat your son like an employee who needs to improve, though of course you can't fire him, and presumably have more of an emotional investment in him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-06-09T21:12:49.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2312" CreationDate="2015-06-10T11:58:40.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do it by day of the month not by number of weeks. 4 weeks doesn't make a month. We have 52 weeks in a year. If we calculate by 4 weeks a month then we need to  have 13 months in a year. Just calculate this way. So your baby will be one month old on August 18th.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-06-10T11:58:40.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20692" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-10T12:39:15.573" Score="17" ViewCount="83288" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whether its to visit a friend who lives a few streets away, or going to the park by themselves, or going to the local shop, at what age do you allow your kids to go out by themselves?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And what rules do you set down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3431" LastActivityDate="2018-03-27T19:58:46.723" Title="At what age should you allow your kids to go out alone?" Tags="|age-appropriate|independence|maturity|rules|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20692" CreationDate="2015-06-10T14:08:15.327" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, you must check your country's laws. In Poland it's illegal to leave children without supervision when they're under 7 years old (there are several exceptions though). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should allow your kids to go out alone as soon as possible, but not sooner than they're ready:) And if and only if &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are ready for that. I think it is important for the kid to go out alone, it's a first big step towards being an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6-7 years old is a decent age to start first alone walks. Let the kid, preferably with a friend of the same age, play alone on a playground nearest to your home - it would be best if it was within sight of your home, so that you can take look from time to time. Warn them not to stray from the playground. Also, a kid should know, by heart, his full address.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;9-10 years of age would be a good time to extend the allowed range of your kids' playing. Let them go to a favorite and a bit distant coffehouse, ice-cream store, etc. A good rule for that: don't go anywhere by public transportation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Around 13-14 years your kid is grown enough to go to a distant park using public transport, to a party at friend's house even to a night at his friend's without any parents' supervision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rules to follow for the kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;know not to talk to strangers and never go anywhere with strangers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;know his address, full name, parent's full names, parent's phone numbers by heart&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;always have a mobile phone, always have it turned on and with sound enabled&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;always say where they are going and when they are going to be back - introduce punishments limiting the newly gained freedom for being late (or forgetting to call)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;always provide a location for sleepovers/parties&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An important factor to consider is your kid's maturity - is he a responsible person (for his age)? Do you actually trust him to go out alone?&#xA;Also - how does your neighbourhood look like? peaceful suburbs or noisy city center? is there traffic? are there many people walking around? do you yourself feel safe there? What dangers are there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-06-10T14:08:15.327" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-10T16:52:54.543" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try getting him involved in an activity where attention and discipline are self-reinforcing parts of the activity.  I'd recommend meditation, tai chi, or yoga (as a family activity) where he has incentive to emulate other family members, or some kind of martial arts.  I think the martial arts especially would be productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7739" LastActivityDate="2015-06-10T16:52:54.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-10T19:29:43.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is something that worked for us that resolved the &quot;selective hearing&quot; issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time you or your husband asks something of your child, insist that he responds. He has the freedom to disagree, but he has to say something. Or at least acknowledge that he heard you. Do it in a gentle way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, pick one thing to work on at a time. For eg, during the week that you choose to work on the &quot;selective hearing&quot; issue, you cannot talk to him about his disruptive behavior in class or not finishing everything on his plate. No body likes being nagged all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Example: his school has a fire drill and the kids are to stay in line. My son sees an ant hill and has to walk over to it and check it out.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he is just being a 6 year old boy (like mine). Will he get a different teacher next year ? Looks like his teacher is not skilled enough to deal with disruptions in class room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, look for any social skills groups for kids in your neighborhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16733" LastActivityDate="2015-06-10T19:29:43.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-11T01:53:33.180" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You wrote: &quot;We've done time outs and daily good behavior charts. We've awarded little prizes on good behavior.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, this seems to be a strategy that could work out for toddlers but not schoolchildren.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The matter is this: You can't demand obedience without offering real rewards. In other words, you have to make a deal. You can't just tell them to do something. That's disrespectful. Punishments are also disrespectful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's true that some kids will obey because of other reasons, say out of fear or for praise but that is not a lasting effect. Instead, it will surely lead to reactance and rebellion later on, because the kid wants to reassure himself of his freedom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If those complaints about your child are the only ones you have, your boy is perfectly normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he disobeys the teacher, as we all did at some point, he just exercises his freedom and he knows there is no or very little reward in obeying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please consider an example: Soldiers obey because they get paid. Workers obey because they get paid. And teachers get paid, too. Even the priests and bishops and popes get paid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And kids are quite fast in knowing what's going on - they know what all those adults value and love quite a lot. It's appreciation in form of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, did you already try a (daily) allowance for him? You can give money for good grades, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's our responsibility as parents not to exhaust the kid's good behavior by not rewarding it properly. And I'm sure your kid behaves well most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11353" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T01:53:33.180" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2015-06-11T02:50:43.060" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is better to wait. Generally, kids develop competence when they are 5 years and older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 6 and she never wanted to swim before and all of a sudden she is talking about learning to swim. When I asked her why she wants to learn, she says some of her friends are already in level 2 swimming and others are in level 1 and she wants to learn fast so she can catch them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, if your child is not interested in swimming now, it is better to wait.But  be prepared to take action immediately after they express their interest in learning anything not alone swimming. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T02:50:43.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20678" CreationDate="2015-06-11T04:19:05.577" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's great that you've got the self-awareness and the honesty to recognize your own anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to observe the class once, or volunteer to help out one day, so you can get a feel for what's going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the change you're seeing may be that pre-school is no longer challenging or fascinating for your son this far along in the year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of it may be that as the weather warms up, children gravitate to outdoor, active pursuits, and get more easily fed up with being confined in a classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of it may be related to the teacher being stressed about something, which might not even have anything to do with the students or the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of it may be related to the child being underchallenged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is tremendous variation among teachers and atmospheres in early childhood classrooms.  So, the current situation may or may not be an accurate predictor of what will happen next year.  What you could do now, in terms of channeling your anxiety positively, would be to write a letter to the principal letting him or her know what type of situation your son does best in, to enable the school to place him with a teacher that will be a good fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't tried a parent-teacher conference yet, you might give it a shot.  Make it short, bring the teacher a card or a end-of-year thank-you gift, and ask the teacher if she has some hunches about the decline in behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If behavior is an issue in kindergarten, you can ask for occupational therapy services, which would give your son a break from the classroom.  These services could give him an opportunity to run around, play in a ball pool, slide around with a yoga ball on a mat, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to mention your concerns next time you see your son's doctor.  If only to let the doctor know to be watching your son's trajectory over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son sounds like a dynamic individual, full of life, with a lot to offer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-11T05:07:18.077" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T05:07:18.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20692" CreationDate="2015-06-11T04:28:19.603" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Whether its to visit a friend who lives a few streets away, or going to the park by themselves, or going to the local shop, at what age do you allow your kids to go out by themselves?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My younger son is 12 and he knows how to ride the bus to a couple of places, but he doesn't know how to transfer to a second bus yet.  He can walk to a friend's house.  He can walk 20 minutes to the grocery store.  He can go next door and ask permission to take their dog for a walk.  He can put on his helmet and ride his bike around the neighborhood (four blocks, with clear delimiters).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And what rules do you set down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I keep tight control at this stage.  He has to ask first before leaving our yard, he has to go where he said he was going to go, not somewhere else, and he has to come back by the prescribed time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is some lapse with regard to these rules, then the next time, I don't give him as much independence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I have to be honest and tell you that when this child was three, he wandered the immediate neighborhood, visiting neighbors spontaneously.  We live on a one-block dead end street (cul de sac).  If I turned my back for a moment, he was out the door.  The only way I was able to solve this was by getting him a toy walkie talkie.  I would have had to tie him down to prevent his neighborhood visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rule was that if I called him on the walkie talkie, he had to respond.  Also, if he told me he was going to Neighbor X's house, and X wasn't home, he had to check in with Mama in person, by phone, or by walkie talkie, and ask permission before going to knock on Y's door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T04:28:19.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-11T05:55:56.500" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no personal experience with this but I have three sons as well. Society expects a certain behaviour of our children, to sit quiet for long hours, to focus, to obey, to be detail oriented, but not every person is like this. According to the description of your son he is very inquisitive, physically active, and just gets bored in class and doesn't know what to do with his energy. Remember, the parents of those other 'bad boys' say the same to their sons, to not copy the other bad boys, including yours. Some people just function better in an environment that doesn't try to control them all the time. I'd say this is a positive characteristic. Maybe a school type that allows more freedom for self development is better suited for your son, like Montessori? Medication can't be the answer. Not everybody has to be a able to perform repetitive tasks like a factory worker, or sit concentrated in a chair for long hours to perform intellectual activity like an office worker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16738" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T05:55:56.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20677" CreationDate="2015-06-11T06:26:06.840" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;i could say that the child don't have a fear or he does not have a  the value of they parents and he not so maturity stage he doing just a childish behavior where we also used to do . what he is doing correct or wrong even he don't know that. that stage you have to make him release that you are getting insulted and be more strick . by not beating him he should be afraid of the parents . where he should get a fix mind that if I do something wrong my parents will scold me and they would also beat me. then see ...how it works. he enjoy doing that by giving a disrespect doing and his friend accompany him. ask that teacher who started give him a company in laughing warned them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16739" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T06:26:06.840" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20525" CreationDate="2015-06-11T10:51:08.200" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to keep you toddler engaged can be a few activities &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Play Dough is one of the best activity for little one, where they can make creative things with that. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Paint in bags. Place some paint in a plastic zipper bag and seal the bag, then paste it or tape on a window and let your kid move the paint with the fingers. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Set up a pack and play and put books and stuffed animal in for your little one to play with.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Painting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Coloring. Make you little one any images like animals, super heros, cars etc and tell to color those sheets with the crayons.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Blow a balloon and play tennis with that balloon.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do some apple stamping on the paper.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are the few activities that can keep your toddler busy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-20T19:04:51.557" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T19:04:51.557" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2015-06-11T10:51:08.200" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20630" CreationDate="2015-06-11T12:43:37.717" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is very likely that daycare will allow you to bring refrigerated or frozen breast milk and that your partner will be able to pump at work, but it takes dedication and logistics. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I will share my experience, as it worked for us and was improved over months of trial/error.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went back to work when my baby was 3 months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Each day, (after nursing my baby at home first thing in the morning) I brought ~250-300 mL of refrigerated or frozen breastmilk with me in 100 - 150 mL plastic disposable milk storage bags (specially designed for this purpose) labeled with her name, date, and quantity for the daycare which they put directly into their fridge. I also brought 2 empty clean bottles. We explained to the daycare how to properly thaw frozen milk, with a bowl of warm tap water, you dunk the ziploc into the water to melt it. Our daycare didn't mind giving breastmilk to our daughter - they were surprised that I managed to pump as long as I did - but they were up on the latest research that breastmilk is healthy for babies.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I brought my pump parts with me to work in a cloth bag, after having cleaned them in the dishwasher the night before. I pumped 3x per work day, mid-morning, lunch, mid-afternoon. I was able to do some work while I pumped, but my employer also gave me 1 hr breastfeeding break per day paid. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;After pumping, I'd put the fresh milk in the ziploc and put the pump parts and the milk into the fridge at work (yes! you can refrigerate pump parts and then use them again at the next pumping session without washing them, I didn't learn this until many months of unnecessary washing had gone by!) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I left my pump (the motor, cords, tubing) and extra ziplocs and market for labeling in the pumping room at work, and brought the refrigerated cloth bag with milk from the day and pump parts back home.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Any extra milk above the 250 - 300 mL would get frozen at home. Each Friday I'd freeze the milk I'd brought home that day, and on Mondays I'd bring the oldest frozen bag of milk to the daycare with me to rotate the freezer stock. I put layers of parchment paper in between the bags in the freezer to keep them from sticking to each other. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding and working is very tiring - your body secretes hormones while exclusively breastfeeding that make you relaxed and sleepy. It also makes it difficult to regain your footing at work, since you spend all your free time pumping and have little time for coffee breaks and normal lunches - it's harder to reconnect with your colleagues and friends. Business travel is also much more challenging...pumping at highway rest areas is not fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, I managed to exclusively breastfeed for 7 months, and then I reduced my pumping to 1x/day at work, and soon after, not pumping at all. By then, my milk levels were well established, so we could still nurse in the mornings and evenings, and on weekends. With the transition to solids, my baby needed less milk during the day anyway. We brought a bottle of formula with her to daycare until she was 1 year old, and now she just takes solids at daycare.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-12T20:56:17.757" LastActivityDate="2015-06-12T20:56:17.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12398" CreationDate="2015-06-11T15:53:35.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've hit upon one of the great dilemmas of human society.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In school we are taught to NEVER HIT ANOTHER PERSON EVER OR YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!&#xA;But at the first sign of political disturbance, we declare war. &lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt; The problem is that &lt;em&gt;&quot;Everything can be resolved through communication&quot;&lt;/em&gt; is a lie. &lt;br&gt;&lt;em&gt;Most&lt;/em&gt; things can be resolved through communication, but only if the other party is like minded. &lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asking a bully to stop, gets you a slap.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Telling a teacher on a bully, gets you a slap.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You can never effectively use these idealistic techniques in childhood in &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; situation.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;I think the important thing to do is to be honest with the child. Tell them there will always be people who do not follow these guidelines. You need to let them know that following these guidelines is the right thing to do, and that they should feel good about trying to follow them, even if they fail. &lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;If they question why the other children do not follow them, perhaps reassure them that in time they will learn, and that the other children are just maybe not so lucky to be taught the right way so early. &lt;br&gt; By teaching them to handle situations as you have, you have given them the upper hand in adulthood. They will not see it yet, because in childhood, the loudest voice and the strongest fist has the upper hand, so you need to reassure them that this &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; the way the world works, even though they can't see it yet. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;I spent my childhood years desperately trying to implement these peaceful tactics, without success. But I am thankful that my parents taught me them, because now I believe myself to be more emotionally mature and better suited to adult life than some of those who I grew up with.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt; As user1873 mentions, it may difficult, but it is an important lesson. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16587" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T15:53:35.620" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12398" CreationDate="2015-06-11T17:12:46.383" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not all problems can be resolved peacefully unless you are willing to capitulate and that is certainly frustrating. We make a big deal about fairness, but life isn't fair and neither is everyone you are going to meet. That being said, it sounds by your description of events, that it is generally your child that escalates a conflict to a physical altercation. That is not going to serve them well in life. So while no, you can't influence the actions of the other kids, you sure as heck can influence the actions of your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids were always allowed to defend themselves, in fact, encouraged to. And were always told (especially my daughter) that anyone touching you where it was unwanted was unacceptable, and that she had full permission to do anything and everything in her power to make that stop. Period and with my full support. I don't want to raise future victims. I want to raise people who end fights - not start them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if my kid was the first to hit another - it was time to go home! Right this instant, no second chances and no finishing whatever you were doing. Done! Yes the other child was not respecting mine's right to play. And yes finding ways to share community properly can be tough. But starting the hitting? Play time is done! Period. They can walk away and find something else to do. They can ask me for my help to deal with the other child if they can't get through to them, and I WILL go toe-to-toe verbally with the other parent if their child is the problem. I will vigorously defend my child's rights always.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, in the short term, if your child does the right thing and walks away - reward the heck out of them for it to drive the point home that they made the right choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T17:12:46.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10709" CreationDate="2015-06-11T17:50:09.477" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always sucked at typing, but about 10 years ago used an online tutorial to learn Dvorak. I would never go back to QWERTY.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compatibility with other computers is a moot issue to-day. Every modern Windows and Macintosh computer has the option of numerous layouts, and it's easy to toggle to the other keyboard with the click of a couple of keys. On mine, it's merely a matter of simultaneously pressing the Shift and Ctrl keys. My wife uses only QWERTY and we have no problem sharing the same computer.  Before I retired, we used Mac computers at work, and I never had a problem shifting layouts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would get amused sometimes when co-workers wanted to borrow my computer for a few moments. They couldn't get it to work. I would come over and type something and say it works fine for me. I would lead them on for a moment before toggling the keyboard, then they could type on it with no problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would teach my kid to use Dvorak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16749" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-11T18:01:11.547" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T18:01:11.547" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12398" CreationDate="2015-06-11T18:54:56.437" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You live in a society, where (as has been noted by the previous posters) life is most definitely not fair. Still, we need to be resourceful enough to avoid hitting. Your child hitting someone who is not hitting him - i.e. not a situation of self-defense - is inappropriate. He can't be allowed to solve a disagreement, dispute, or show his displeasure by hitting. He has an unhealthy response to not getting his way, and that's your challenge to help him overcome. That's not the other kid's fault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a playground and other situations, you are his protector and his teacher. You need to decide which life lesson it is that you want to teach him. Do you want to teach him resilience? Then teach him it's not the end of the world if some little kid fills in his hole. Teach him that self control is better than getting his way. Teach him to find a quieter spot. Teach him to look around for activities he might like just as much as digging a hole, which was met with a &quot;failure&quot;, but was not caused by him. Teach him to ask for your assistance (that's not teaching him to be a victim, it's teaching him that someone is watching out for him). Teach him to find and play with kids who play well. Teach him to think of ways he can help himself to feel better in the face of these small injustices. But don't expect other kids on the playground to teach him these life lessons, or that people get along well ll the time. It just isn't going to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him an emotional vocabulary so that when someone fills in the hole he dug, you can ask him how he felt about that, but don't allow him to hit in response. Help him manage &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; emotions, by talking about why kids might do that: it's not necessarily that they are mean or ill-behaved; it may simply be a different definition of play for the other person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him perspective: by talking, help your child remember ways that he or she has successfully handled similar situations in the past. Help him understand that these past challenges help him build the strength to handle present and future challenges. If he handles something appropriately, praise his decision. It's really not too early to teach him resilience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, give him a home filled with love, openness, empathy, and respect, so that the injustices of life pale in comparison to the warmth and safety of home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-tips-for-raising-resilient-kids/&quot;&gt;10 Tips For Raising Resilient Kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resilience.aspx&quot;&gt;Resilience Guide for Parents &amp;amp; Teachers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.beststart.org/resources/hlthy_chld_dev/pdf/BSRC_Resilience_English_fnl.pdf&quot;&gt;Building Resilience in Young Children: Booklet for parents of children from birth to six years&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-11T18:54:56.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20716" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20725" CreationDate="2015-06-11T21:06:41.093" Score="9" ViewCount="339" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our twelve week old son has suddenly started rolling from his back to his front, and appears to be able to do this at will! Unfortunately, he can't roll from front to back yet, which leaves us worried about what would happen if he did it whilst sleeping! Is there anything we can do to prevent this, or are we overreacting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6051" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T00:23:28.273" Title="How do I stop an early roller" Tags="|infant|sleep|safety|motor-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20716" CreationDate="2015-06-12T13:16:48.817" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's very common.  The recommendation is to still put them on their back to sleep, but anything they do under their own power is okay.  It's actually when parents try to prevent this that babies get into trouble.  Don't try to put pillows or toys or blankets as barriers to rolling over.  It probably won't be long until he can roll both ways.  In the mean time, the most annoying part is they tend to cry when they want to go back on their back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-12T13:16:48.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10709" CreationDate="2015-06-12T14:59:18.207" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Premature optimization is the root of all evil and perfect is the enemy of good.  You are &lt;strong&gt;optimizing a toddler&lt;/strong&gt; for typing speed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why go halfway?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;Drop dvorak, get a chorded keyboard and teach gregg shorthand.&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unless you are a stenographer, thinking about what you type is far more important than how fast you type it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your goal is to build a better child then drop dvorak and typing until the child is old enough to at least read and write.  Instead, teach things like algorithms as part of play.  You can find all sorts of ways to teach things like prim's algorithm, dykstra's algorithm, hill climbing and sorting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11699" LastActivityDate="2015-06-12T14:59:18.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2015-06-12T15:02:31.880" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having a sibling has some advantages and some disadvantages for a child:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many children who do not have siblings want to have a little brother or sister. They think that everything will be fine but having siblings has also bad points. Having siblings is not only fun, it is also a great responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, if you have brothers or sisters you can spend your free time together and enjoy yourself. You can fool around, dance, sing, laugh and play with one another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, if you need some help you can always count on your older siblings because they are wiser. They can help you with maths, biology or any other subjects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing is that you have someone with whom you can talk to. If you have some problems, difficulties, worries or cares or you simply want to tell how your day was, your siblings will certainly listen to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now some disadvantages. One of the main disadvantages of having siblings is that you have to look after them when parents are not at home. This is extremely tiring and exhausting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, one more disadvantage. Jealousy between siblings is very common. They want everything what belongs to you and it does not matter if they will use it or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All things have their own advantages and disadvantages. I think that still it is better to have siblings because one day problems between them may disappear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16754" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-12T21:04:00.070" LastActivityDate="2015-06-12T21:04:00.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7929" CreationDate="2015-06-12T15:05:45.043" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Same struggles here.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What all bad (or not good) behavior boils down to is parent consistency.  Somehow, as parents, we forget to be consistent.  When our kids were infants, we were really good about following a schedule and consistently correcting not good behavior (such as night wakings, throwing things, etc.), but as soon as they got &quot;older&quot;, our rules relaxed.  We accepted the not good behavior, because they're &quot;just kids&quot;, when, in fact, we have to continue to consistently and vigilantly react in the exact same way every time a behavior is observed.  Very much cause and effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read this book, which was written in the early 80's: &quot;The Omnipotent Child&quot;, which appeals to my parenting philosophy.  It talks more in the language of &quot;you're the parent, you make the rules; children don't have to like the rules (and by extension you), but they do have to follow them.&quot;  Children not liking their parents should not be confused with not loving them, and the same goes for you as parents.  You can hate your child's actions, but that doesn't mean you love them less.  It does not encourage rewards systems because its too easy to fall into the trap of having to give rewards for everything, even after a skill (e.g., getting dressing for school) is mastered (completed without parent supervision/nagging), you have to continue to reward them.  It advocates a punishment system because punishment systems naturally dwindle down.  Keep in mind, punishment in the book is used more as loss of privileges.  Every child is entitled to food, clothing, warmth, sleep, and love.  They are not &lt;em&gt;entitled&lt;/em&gt; to technology, desserts, time with friends, treats, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every parent-child relationship is different, and how you parent is a combination of both parties' temperaments and personal beliefs.  For me, I definitely am more in the 'tough love' camp, so this very much appeals to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this being said, we definitely still have our daily struggles, mostly because we, as parents, are not consistent, but when we do follow this paradigm, the children respond fairly well to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16755" LastActivityDate="2015-06-12T15:05:45.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19551" CreationDate="2015-06-12T16:15:32.780" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, let's first agree that you can't instruct a child how to behave. It's often difficult to instruct an adult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question was what are the tools to influence child's behavior. Here they are: personal example, role play, storytelling, training (just like you train dogs;)), consequences. Let's have a closer look how these tools can be applied in the context of the question and then discuss what final goal we want to achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Personal example. Show how you respect authority in different situations:&#xA;a) The traffic light is red, it tells us to wait. I am obeying traffic light because...&#xA;b) I can't go straight to check-out to pay for your chocolate, there is a queue and I have to queue. It's impolite to do otherwise.&#xA;b') Instead of impolite argument, you can also say that there is a security in the shop who monitors other people behavior. This will bring up different aspect of respecting rules and authority.&#xA;c) I can't stay in preschool with you, I have to do my studies at university (I am a grad student). I have a supervisor who tells me what to do and I listen to him because he is very clever and teaches me everything.&#xA;c') I also show my daughter how I study. I show her the books I read and my notebooks. She is happy when she can recognize letters, numbers and shapes in my notes. I explain her my motivation and my duties.&#xA;And so on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Role play. Playing is the best way for children to practice their social skills and safely try different ways to behave. We have a set of Lego figures that represent my daughter, me, daddy, granny, cousins and so on. Using these figures, I model real life situations and see how my daughter develops the game, correcting her gently or questioning her actions, when I disagree or want her to behave differently in real life. So, you can add scenarios in which you want to change his behavior into your game and gradually change his behavior while playing. This will alternate his behavior in real life. Or if you don't want to change his behavior, this method will give you insight into how your child behaves when you don't see him, you will better understand his motivation and attitude. We play &quot;school&quot; a lot with my daughter. She sits on a chair at the desk (they are made of storage boxes), I give her different tasks like reading, counting, drawing and she does them immediately because it's school and it's very serious business. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Story telling. Discuss characters' behavior in stories when you come across relevant examples in books you are reading together or animated films he is watching. When he is older, I think you will watch Star wars with him. Isn't episode 3 a wonderful deep example of authority/respect/personal problems conflict?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is another technique concerning stories, whose author is Doris Brett. &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0894805282&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Annie-Stories-Special-Kind-Storytelling/dp/0894805282&lt;/a&gt;. It is a powerful tool in influencing children's behavior. The outline of the technique is the following: tell him a story about a boy who was in school and the teacher asked him to do something. How the boy decided not to do it and what happened next. Ask whether the boy was right or not, what would you do in his place. Make up together a new story, where the boy behaved better. Or make a conclusion that the boy was right as he didn't harm anybody and just wanted to do something else which was absolutely fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;4&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Training. In preschool there is usually a simple routine which a child has to obey. Ask the teacher what are the typical situations where he has to do what he is told and train him to do it at home. My daughter had problems with tiding up at preschool, but she usually enjoys the process at home. So, when we next tidied her room, I told her &quot;we are at preschool now and I am the teacher&quot;, and then with teacher's tone &quot;children, its tidy up time!&quot;. She learned the procedure and never had problems after.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consequences. They were already mentioned in answers, so I will not repeat.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now let's see what are the goals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short-term: well-being in preschool. Tell the teacher that you don't know how teach him do what he is told. Don't say you are not going to do it, but rather ask her for constructive advice how you can achieve what she asks for. My guess is that she will not come up with any constructive advice, but rather she will have to change her requirements for the child. Then discuss what concrete behavior should be changed, why and how. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long-term: well-being at school. Make sure he studies well and does his homework on time. Good students can usually get away with much more;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long-term: life. In my opinion there are two things you should teach a child to respect: 1) law; 2) traditions of other peoples, when being in a foreign country. Everything else is up to him. So, my suggestion: leave it an open question. Make sure it arises in different context and circumstances, provide guidance in partial cases but don't try to give a ready-made answer. Better, ask him proper questions, like: &quot;What do you think about &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Milgram experiment&lt;/a&gt;?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please tell me if it was helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16753" LastEditorUserId="16753" LastEditDate="2015-06-16T21:10:56.327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T21:10:56.327" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20724" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-13T22:24:23.733" Score="2" ViewCount="86" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids are both under six years of age.&#xA;Occasionally, when they are really dirty and sweaty,&#xA;I need to wash their hair with shampoo.&#xA;The trouble starts when I try to wash the shampoo out of their hair,&#xA;by using a big scoop to pour water over their hair.&#xA;Inevitably, some water gets into their eyes,&#xA;and they start screaming as if it is the end of the world.&#xA;I am able to use a small towel to wipe the water out of their eyes&#xA;but only after some water has already gotten in their eyes&#xA;and the screaming has begun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I wash my kids' hair without traumatizing them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastActivityDate="2015-06-13T22:24:23.733" Title="How do I wash my kids' hair without them screaming their lungs out?" Tags="|hygiene|fears|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-06-13T23:20:54.487" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20716" CreationDate="2015-06-14T00:23:28.273" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is perfectly normal and you shouldn't try to prevent it.  He will soon learn how to roll over on his back again.  If you are worried about him doing it in the middle of the night then I would recommend taking out all of the blankets and pillows from his crib.  In fact, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics babies shouldn't sleep with blankets until they are 12 months old.  There have been babies that have suffocated in blankets and pillows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16762" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T00:23:28.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3563" CreationDate="2015-06-14T07:05:30.387" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I sucked my thumb until I was 18 and I didn't have a problem with it, unlike the people around me. When my parents went about &quot;correcting&quot; it, I couldn't sleep, as I didn't feel safe, and then I would just feel bad that they had a problem with it. Mom eventually accepted it when I was a little older as a source of comfort and then eventually I was able to break the habit on my own because I wanted to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I never had any problems with my teeth becoming deformed. I had braces only because I had two teeth grow above my other teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16763" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-06-14T23:18:36.507" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T23:18:36.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20727" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-14T12:28:27.147" Score="14" ViewCount="1591" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Background&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter recently turned 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In December, she was diagnosed with autism.  She is on the mild (verbal) end of the spectrum.  She has communication and social issues, as well as some self care and behaviour issues (tantrums).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Toilet training attempt #1&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shortly before she turned 3, we tried to toilet train her for the first time.  We did this for a few weeks and it became much too stressful.  She never told us when she needed to go, and we constantly needed to prompt her.  The end result was constant weeing on the floor, a couple of frustrated parents, and being put back in nappies shortly after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Meanwhile...&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For most of 2014 we had a few major events (including the birth of another child) which put toilet-training well on the back burner.  She was pretty much in nappies the entire year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although, she would often express an interest in going to the toilet (or potty) to make a wee.  We would take her nappy off in these situations and let her make a wee like a &quot;big girl&quot;.  We would always praise her and do a big song and dance whenever she had a successful wee on the toilet, and she seemed to delight in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Toilet training attempt #2&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In January this year we decided to give it another go, and with this 2nd attempt we were much more determined to be successful.  So off came the nappies.  &quot;You're a big girl now, and you don't have to wear nappies anymore.  Big girls go on the toilet&quot;.  She seemed to enjoy this concept.  The only time she goes in nappies now is when she goes to sleep (because we don't want to have to clean her sheets every day).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The accidents still happen fairly regularly.  We keep on telling her &quot;please tell mummy or daddy when you want to go to the toilet&quot;.  She seemed to understand this, but very rarely tells us she wants to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward 5 months to June...We don't seem to be making a lot of progress, and we're going a bit nuts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Summary of issues&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She very rarely tells us when she wants to go.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We will usually start to see signs of her wanting to go (pushing legs together, walking funny) but by that stage it's often too late and she's already wet herself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it's been quite a few hours since she last went, we'll try to take her but she will refuse.  I have discovered recently that bribery (allowing her to watch a cartoon on the toilet) helps though.  And if I managed to convince her to go to the toilet, she'll make a wee (she clearly needed to go).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she has a tantrum (for whatever reason) she will usually wet herself if she hasn't gone for a while.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She oddly seems to be better at kindergarten and has less (wee) accidents - they have smaller toilets there which are more accessible than our home one, which might encourage her to go.  She also mimics other children who are going.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We offer both the toilet and potty at home to encourage her to not go in her pants.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dirty public toilets are a no-go zone (understandable, I don't really like them either).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Often when we are out (e.g. at a restaurant) she'll say &quot;I need to go the toilet&quot;.  We get very excited that she wants to go, but then we take her and she doesn't want to sit down.  Apparently she just wanted to go the toilet room, but not actually make anything.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She always tells us after she had made something in her pants, just not before she has made it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she makes a wee on the toilet (quite regularly, when we are able to convince her to go), we always make a big song and dance of it, rewarding her with stickers, stars and rewards.  She enjoys this attention.  Positive reinforcement to the max.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She seems to also realise (maybe) that drinking water leads to wees, and doesn't seem to like drinking water as much as she did when she was in nappies.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What about number twos?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's even more stressful.  In all this time toilet training, she's only made a poo on the toilet maybe once (and that's when she was caught about to make one in her pants).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, it's either in her underpants or her nappy (when she's in bed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has mostly dropped her daytime nap now, but often she'll tell us that she wants to go to sleep during the day.  She knows we will put a nappy on her for this, and after she goes to bed she'll often call out 5 minutes later &quot;I made a poo&quot;.  We then change her, and she wants to be awake again.  All apparently very premeditated on her part...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting her to makes poos on the toilet is close to impossible.  We have even let her sit on the toilet or potty with a nappy on just so she can get used to the concept of making a poo in that position.  But she still won't do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for being graphic, but when she does make a poo they can often be quite messy ones (not diarrhea but not solid either).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Advice we have received&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have seen a psychologist and occupational therapist who advised the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Social stories (provided to us) about toileting, in both book and DVD form.  The book even has pictures of my daughter in it to try to encourage her to do the right thing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making the environment at home peaceful and non stressful.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We always try to remain calm when there is an accident, but we all have our moments and sometimes it gets a bit much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Where to now?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They say that insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results, and that's definitely where we're at now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone have any ideas about how to tackle this seemingly insurmountable problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16764" LastEditorUserId="16764" LastEditDate="2015-06-14T12:46:56.263" LastActivityDate="2022-11-03T12:46:08.840" Title="Mission Impossible 6: Toilet training my daughter" Tags="|potty-training|autism|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20728" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-14T16:05:07.240" Score="4" ViewCount="155" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that you all refer to the 4-5 hours of sleeping at night only. My newborn is 11 days today. Sometimes he sleeps for 2 hours, sometimes for 1 hours, sometimes for 3 hours. The lactating expert told me to only make him sleep for 4-5 hours once a day ( I'm trying to make it happen at night) . So I am waking him up if he goes more than 3 hours without feeding. Can you please advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16765" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T23:27:25.367" Title="Sleeping hours during the day" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20727" CreationDate="2015-06-14T17:34:11.207" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have any experience with potty training a special needs child, but I have potty trained three boys, and even though they are normal (developmentally anyway) it was very frustrating at times, and we had our brushes with total madness as well. So, in that respect, it appears potty training is progressing normally for you.  Hang in there, your child will eventually use the toilet, but, perhaps later than average due to her unique issues.  That being said, as a &amp;quot;veteran&amp;quot; potty trainer, and one who has also experienced a child who progressed atypically--see my other &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/12585/encopresis-how-can-we-encourage-our-child-to-clean-himself-or-ask-for-help-imme/14180#14180&quot;&gt;answer&lt;/a&gt; for background--I can offer some advice that you may find useful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You MUST quit using diapers completely.&lt;/em&gt; My three year old still wets the bed frequently, and although it's tempting to just diaper him at night, we have developed a routine that preserves both the mattress and our sanity. We use a cloth top/waterproof backed pad (called a &amp;quot;chuck&amp;quot; in the hospital industry) on top of the sheets to prevent having to change the sheets in the middle of the night. We use the washable type because our family believes in minimizing waste but you can also find disposable pads if you want to minimize laundry. We also used to put wool underpants on top of his regular underpants. He no longer needs these, but they were very useful when he first trained. It's an extra layer of absorbency without being a diaper.  (Real, high quality, 100% wool is bacteria and odor resistant, and is comfortable year round, btw.) Once the child and the bed are &amp;quot;prepared for the worst&amp;quot;, we take him to the toilet at bedtime, then again an hour later, then again whenever we go to bed. We also used to set an alarm for very early morning (3:45am) to take him again, but he no longer needs us to do this-he gets up early morning on his own to pee. He is also finally, after 4 months of this, starting to have some dry nights.  I realize that in your case, your daughter poops at night, but, I image she's peeing too. Either way, she's got to get out of diapers, and, by getting her up frequently, you can...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Catch her in the act&lt;/em&gt; of pooping that is. You already know what time of day she usually poos (or, night). The trick is to consistently intercept the poop and get her to do it...anywhere else BUT her diaper. Be open, and creative. She didn't just stand up and walk right? There were many stages that led up to it, so the same is true of using the potty. Maybe some kids just wake up one day and start using the toilet, but none of mine did, and yours isn't either. One of my children preferred to hide behind a bush to do his business. I guess he felt comfortable there. So, we let him poop on the ground behind the bush for a few days, then we put the potty back there. He pooped on the ground next to it a few times. Finally he started going on the potty on his own. Then, we got another potty and put it in the house. On rainy/cold days or at night we would convince him with bribery to use the inside potty. He insisted we put it in the shower (for privacy?) within a few weeks he was using the potty consistently on his own, not in the shower. My youngest, most recent &amp;quot;graduate&amp;quot; also wanted privacy, and preferred to squat to poop. We couldn't manage this on a potty, despite several attempts at platforms I custom built to facilitate squatting over his potty. (I guess it was good woodworking practice at least!) The solution that worked was to use newspaper (just like a puppy!) next to the toilet. He knew he needed to be in there but just wasn't comfortable sitting and didn't want help.  We would dump the poop in the toilet and then compost the paper. we are just now getting him to poop in the toilet by using a really high stool that gets his knees above his hips when he's sitting on the toilet, and in public restrooms we use the handicap stall which allows him to squat while on the rim (we put the seat up so his sneakers aren't on the seat). He faces the wall and holds the rail with both hands for balance. Both of these examples are what worked for my kids, and I'm not saying either of these is a magic method. What I'm trying to illustrate is that if you think outside the box and work &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; your daughter's natural tendencies you will find the key to success for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Foster independence&lt;/em&gt; Accidents happen. It seems like you are doing ok with keeping your cool when she has set backs, and that's great-keep it up. You're right though, sometimes even the most patient person loses their cool in the face of repeated failure. Everybody here can totally empathize with the frustration you are feeling! I bet your daughter is frustrated too, and probably disappointed and embarrassed, especially when your frustration is even slightly detectable. She perhaps can't express it (she, and many &amp;quot;normal&amp;quot; children this age, lack the emotional maturity to effectively handle embarrassment and disappointment and/or the words to vocalize what they feel), but she can definitely sense it, which will only compound her negative feelings.  You are right on using positive reinforcement, but perhaps you are at the least not maximizing opportunities and at worst sabotaging it with subconscious resentment.  You can't do much to stop being human, so, while she is still working on using the toilet you can teach her other self-care skills to make her failures less frustrating for you. This will ease tension between you and her, and will leave her with only her own emotions to deal with. To make her more self sufficient teach her to clean herself up when she wets herself or poops her pants. Have clean dry underwear and pants accessible, and show her how to wipe herself with cleansing wipes to get rid of the urine or poo. For poop she still might require help but let her at least try to do it herself. Praise her for her efforts to clean up the same way you do when she uses the potty. She's not using the toilet, but she is taking care of her own business. Having her care for herself takes some of the burden off you, decreasing resentment, and gives her control over the situation. Having control reduces anxiety and increases confidence, which can only help her.  The other effect it has, if she dislikes having to clean/change herself, is to provide a &amp;quot;natural consequence&amp;quot; of her wetting/pooping her pants, other than feeling like she disappointed you, and may act as a deterrent. Eventually, she'll figure out it's so much easier (for everyone) for her to just go in the potty than to have to stop playing to change clothes. This is what worked for my oldest child (well into primary school I might add )-:&amp;lt; )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Make it a social event&lt;/em&gt; You mentioned that she does well at school when she's around other kids because she emulates behaviors. Why not let her do it at home too. Make a habit of bringing her to the potty when anyone else at home does.  We have had an &amp;quot;open door policy&amp;quot; at our house for nearly a decade now (I'm actually looking forward to the challenge of teaching them the concept of privacy now that everyone is toileting independently. Oh, how I miss peeing in peace!) This will get her in the habit of going before you go out, in the morning, before bath time, etc. Maybe increase your own frequency to model and reinforce &amp;quot;trying&amp;quot; which will teach her to go before it's an emergency.  Kids lack the muscle control to hold it at first, so  once they recognize the sensation it's too late.  Plus, it sets the example that everyone needs to take time to go potty during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope I've covered all the angles you haven't already and you find a solution that helps your daughter achieve bathroom independence, no matter if its my answer or another source. Just remember that there are many paths to success, and, that it WILL happen. If nothing else, make sure you take some time to relax and have fun so you can make it out of this challenging time with your sanity (mostly) intact!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2022-11-03T12:46:08.840" LastActivityDate="2022-11-03T12:46:08.840" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2015-06-14T22:29:24.237" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might be a good idea to play in the bath at home. Light splashing can have a good effect on decreasing the fear of water. Next step would be making bubbles under water without putting head under if the child is too scared to do so. If that is the case try putting some water in hands and then make splashing bubbles together with your son. If you show him that nothing happened when you were doing it, it may encourage him to do the same thing.. &#xA;It is very easy to scare the child off for good. As a teacher of swimming I would encourage you to turn the swimming time into play (light splashing,jumping with assistance, walking on the pools floor,paddling, holding his hands and walking with him not touching the pool's floor). Hope this helps. Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13213" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T22:29:24.237" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20728" CreationDate="2015-06-14T23:27:25.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations on the birth of your baby, @Souha, and on the great start the two of you have made with breastfeeding!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lactation consultant's advice strikes me as good advice in the medium term.  For the short term, though, you can feed on demand for the most part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, the fine print: if your baby is still asleep three hours after his last feeding, and it is daytime, please do wake him up to feed him.  This will encourage him to get his day/night set, it will help him gain well, and it will prevent you from getting over-full and possibly engorged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, it sounds like you are on an excellent track.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please do not hesitate to contact the lactation consultant with follow-up questions such as this, if she is available for questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another very helpful resource for you is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;La Leche League International&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T23:27:25.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8679" CreationDate="2015-06-14T23:28:34.397" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have a  similar situation with our 17 y. o. daughter. We've allowed supervised visits to her gf's house, since we've met the family and stay in contact with them. But just today we told our daughter our concerns about setting up a double standard for her younger sister and any potential bf's. The way in which you're handling your situation is spot on! We've told ours that the same rules apply to ANY significant other, regardless of gender. We've found that discussing our rules and the reasons behind our decisions has worked for the most part. And when they DO get upset about a decision, we just remind ourselves of the saying &quot;if your  making your kids mad once in awhile your doing something right&quot; or something like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16767" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-06-14T23:32:00.880" LastActivityDate="2015-06-14T23:32:00.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20727" CreationDate="2015-06-15T00:19:28.297" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have personal experience toilet training one neurotypical boy, and one neuroatypical boy, although he is not on the autism spectrum -- he has Tourette Syndrome (TS) and ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend whose daughter is on the autism spectrum was in a similar situation as yours, with respect to urination. At about the same age as yours is, she worked out a sticker system with her and used an electronic timer. At certain intervals when the timer beeped, my friend took her daughter to the bathroom to try. (The sticker was given for either for trying or for succeeding.)  Her daughter was very cooperative. They had worked out a nice reward after a certain number of stickers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician told us about an alarm we could buy to help with training for urination at night  We used this very successfully to train our child with TS to be dry at night, which we did when he was almost 8.  I bought the alarm, and a book to go with it, from: &lt;a href=&quot;http://bedwettingstore.com/bedwetting-alarms.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://bedwettingstore.com/bedwetting-alarms.html&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first child wanted to poop in a pull-up, so when he was solid with urinating, for a while I let him take off his underpants and put on a pull-up to poop; otherwise, he would get quite constipated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we were ready to tackle pooping, I offered a ring seat on top of the toilet seat and potty.  Neither of those appealed to him.  It was the middle of summer, and we compromised.  Initially he felt comfortable just getting undressed from the waist down and going outside and squatting. When he was done I gave him a garden trowel and asked him to take the poop down to the compost bin, just as we did when we found cat poop in an awkward spot.  He was fine with that.  I built it up as the big success.  After three days of a daily poop with this approach, it rained, and he was persuaded to poop by sitting on the ring on the toilet.  Once he had had once success with the toilet, he didn't need to go outside any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For public places -- one approach is to minimize visits to public places temporarily.  Another is to take the potty with you everywhere you go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-15T02:38:19.493" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T02:38:19.493" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20630" CreationDate="2015-06-15T01:41:01.503" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I knew a mother who, on returning to work (her baby was 4 months old), found that her baby was not interested in milk of any kind at day care.  She was fine eating solids and drinking water, but she wanted her mama for her milk.  Surprisingly, this worked out well for them.  The baby nursed frequently in the evening and at night. The mother seemed to sleep enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your partner is going back to work much earlier, so I think the main concern is the possibility of nipple confusion from being given a bottle.  This is a real danger; although of course it doesn't happen to every baby that is given a bottle at day care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the expressing at work.  Whether she chooses hand expression or electric pumping, it's a matter of practicing, so that the let down works as well as it does with baby.  It will be helpful for her to start practicing this at home where she feels as relaxed as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In principle, a woman can pump at her desk.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practicing pumping in public is the key.  As long as she is matter-of-fact and cool about it, others will be too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A couple of ways around giving a bottle:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;1. Use a paper or slightly flexible plastic cup, and bending it to make a spout.  You can dribble the milk into baby's mouth slowing using the spout.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;2. Use the Medela SNS or Lactaid supplementer.  These supplementers are often used for feeding preemies and adopted babies, with the narrow, flexible tube and the nipple going into baby's mouth.  The milk only flows through the tube when active sucking occurs, because of the tiny diameter of the tube.  You can also feed the baby with the tube and your little finger instead of a nipple.  Same principle -- baby still has to work, sucking, with the same strength as at the breast, and will therefore not go on strike at the breast.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;If the two of you are interested in this option, you can do a lot to make it work, by learning how to do one feeding per 24 hours with this approach.  Once you are comfortable doing it, it will be easier for you to teach the day care provider how to do it.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;As you approach the back-to-work target date, you could add another daytime feeding, with your partner doing more daytime pumping or expressing.  With all transitions in breastfeeding, the more step by step you can go, the better.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;You might consider visiting the daycare once during the day to do one of these feedings.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-15T02:56:42.673" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T02:56:42.673" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12398" CreationDate="2015-06-15T01:52:18.757" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 3 1/2, your child is an apprentice at dealing with other people.  He need not face these playground challenges completely alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By walking with your son to the park, you are doing half your job.  The other half is to get involved with the play when necessary -- rather than just relaxing on the bench chatting with the other parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need to intervene less and less as time goes by.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can intervene in a gentle, friendly way, for example, &quot;Hey, my friend, would you like to put some sand in the hole I made, over here?&quot;  Or, &quot;Let's put some sand in this bucket!  We can turn it over and make a pretend birthday cake!&quot;  At the slide, you can say, &quot;We're waiting turns!  I think this little girl is next.  Would you like to go after this little boy [the one at the end of the line]?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child in the playground is behaving particularly badly, you can ask, &quot;Where is your adult?&quot; or &quot;Show me where Mommy is.&quot;  As long as you are gentle in how you tell the parent what's been going on, in my experience, the other parent is glad to know things have been getting out of hand.  You can say, for example, &quot;There are a lot of children waiting their turn for the slide, and your little boy was getting very frustrated.  Can you come and lend a hand?&quot;  You don't have to say, explicitly, &quot;Your son is pushing everyone out of the way, and children are getting hurt.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes a village.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T01:52:18.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12398" CreationDate="2015-06-15T02:12:12.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would first consider the age of the other child who was filling the hole. if the child is of about same age or younger than your son then I would simply assume that if one child is enjoying by digging a hole then other is enjoying by filling it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is hitting the other child for filling the hole then I would ask him to wait and see what the other child will do after filling the hole. does the other child want your child to dig it again? or will he dig it for himself. They have just created a game to play with each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T02:12:12.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20379" CreationDate="2015-06-15T12:36:01.780" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mostly, holding the baby on my shoulder works for me. Sometimes it doesn't work, so I will try with the different position like putting her on my lap - laying my baby on her stomach with her head higher than the chest and gently patting her back (supporting her head with my left hand and pat the back with right hand). This works for me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T12:36:01.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1051" CreationDate="2015-06-15T13:21:14.237" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter and I read Battle Hymn at the same time when she was in fifth grade.  Both of us really enjoyed it, though probably for different reasons.  I'm an English teacher, and this year I've started having my 10th grade boys read it.  (I'm American, and I teach in Abu Dhabi at a school whose students are mostly UAE nationals.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my questions for them is &quot;On a scale of 10, where a 10 is 'My family is exactly like this in terms of pressure' and a 1 is 'My family is nothing like this,' where would you put your own family?&quot; Many kids (and my own daughter) say their families are a seven. Next question: &quot;Where on the scale would you like your family to be, and why?&quot; The better students typically say a higher number, and the worse ones the same number. Most students appreciate at least some pressure, because to a certain extent, pressure = parental involvement = love.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16772" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T13:21:14.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20744" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20753" CreationDate="2015-06-15T14:32:21.153" Score="47" ViewCount="16002" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today, on the bus, I was seated a row behind a mother and her young daughter (I guess about 5-6 years old), and the child just couldn't stay quiet: she was singing constantly, saying &quot;byebye, please come in&quot; to every car that we came across, even parked cars, being very annoying in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I personally am quite quickly annoyed by young children. I have Asperger's, which in my case means it's hard to just mentally ignore noises like neurotypical people can, especially if I don't really have something to occupy myself with. And young children, in my experience, are usually making rather high-pitched noises, often quite loud and repetitive, which really bother me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I often have this issue on transit, which means leaving the situation, as recommended in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/974/how-do-you-handle-poor-behavior-by-other-peoples-children&quot;&gt;How do you handle poor behavior by other people&amp;#39;s children?&lt;/a&gt; isn't really an option, since it would take longer to get where I need to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? And if so, what is the best way to inform them without making the situation worse? I'm from Belgium in case it makes a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7257" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T15:45:15.497" Title="How should I inform parents if their children are bothering me?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20727" CreationDate="2015-06-15T14:40:05.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Allergies are a possibility&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the parent of an ASD kid, you might need to factor in allergies. Our intelligent, verbal ASD son had a problem for years until he was diagnosed with a milk and soya allergy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once we took him off the milk, toileting immediately became much more predictable and he gained much more control. Prior to this he appeared to have very little idea when he needed to go or when he'd been.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mention this because you said that your child's poos are messy. ASD and allergies often go hand in hand. This may not apply to your situation but it might be worth considering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to remember that not every ASD problem has a psychological solution. Best of luck with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-06-16T09:14:17.543" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T09:14:17.543" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-15T15:05:46.913" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing you can do is to politely request that they try to quiet their child.  Maybe phrase it something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm sorry to bother you, but I am trying to work on this / having a&#xA;  really stressful day / etc. and your daughter's high pitched talking&#xA;  is really bothering me.  Can you please try to quiet her down a bit? &#xA;  I'd really appreciate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you use an appropriately polite tone, I would hope the mother would at least try to hush her child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people might take it (or anything you say to them) the wrong way.  At that point, the only thing left to do is try and distract yourself some other way, possibly headphones with music or moving to a different part of the bus where the road noise might drown out the child a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T15:05:46.913" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-15T15:12:05.433" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;A polite request to the parent, in most situations, would not be taken amiss. In particular with a small amount of information as to why you're specifically asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hello, Ma'am, I'm sorry but I have a bit of a headache today.  If it's possible could you ask your child to lower her voice some?  Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be &lt;strong&gt;very specific&lt;/strong&gt; as to the &lt;strong&gt;particular behavior&lt;/strong&gt; you are addressing. Focusing on behavior means you can be specific with what is an issue, and the parent can be specific as to what their children need to stop doing. If you're simply frustrated at children's general behavior, either figure out a way to state a specific behavior or find an alternate solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there will be cases where this doesn't go over well; in particular, when parents are already stressed about their children's behavior (which may be expressed in multiple ways, including by ignoring them).  You will have to decide when this is likely to work and when it's not, and be willing to live with the consequences (ie, an aggravated &quot;Don't tell me how to raise my children&quot; or some such).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest asking this &lt;strong&gt;only when the children are acting well outside of normal&lt;/strong&gt;, at least in one way (for example, very loud pitched screaming); in particular, when you can specify the exact behavior, and it's clearly out of normal bounds.  If you're simply annoyed about &quot;normal&quot; children's behavior, that's not really appropriate to bring up; children will talk, they will comment on moving busses and such, and you're going to have to find a coping mechanism to deal with that element. But children acting well outside of reasonable norms, particularly with high volume or physical contact, it's certainly appropriate to ask (politely) of the parent for them to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-06-15T15:42:57.253" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T15:42:57.253" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20749" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-15T15:30:09.013" Score="10" ViewCount="1058" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eight year-old has an issue with perseverance and planning.  We thought playing &lt;a href=&quot;https://minecraft.net/&quot;&gt;minecraft&lt;/a&gt; would help.  If you're not familiar with minecraft, it's a game where you gather resources to build things, while fighting or avoiding dangers like monsters and lava.  He &lt;em&gt;loves&lt;/em&gt; the game, understands the mechanics of it very well for his age, and would spend every waking hour playing it if we let him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, he's &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; bad at the planning part of the game.  A typical line of thought for someone his age with his level of understanding of the game mechanics (which I know from observing his cousins) is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I keep getting killed by monsters.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I need to make some armor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'll sleep or stay somewhere safe at night in the meantime so I won't get killed as much.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I need a bunch of leather to make armor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I need to raise cows in order to get leather.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I need to plant some wheat to feed the cows.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I need a fence to keep the cows from wandering away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I need a chest to keep my stuff safe, so I don't lose everything if I get killed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I will work on all these things, making adjustments as I go, until I have my armor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I will plan the next steps to get more powerful armor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son's line of thought goes something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I keep getting killed by monsters.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I will spend two minutes making a wooden sword.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm still getting killed all the time by monsters, and it's too much work making a new sword, so I'll just try to punch them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wander around not committing at all to gathering resources, because I'm just going to lose them all the next time I get attacked.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this is just a game, but it's indicative of real-life problems he has with a defeatist attitude and a failure to persevere and adapt when things get difficult.  We were hoping the low-risk/high-motivation aspects of the game would help give him a safe platform for learning these skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What generally causes these sorts of problems?  What activities can we do in-game or out to help him overcome them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T13:27:38.447" Title="Teaching perseverance and planning" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20749" CreationDate="2015-06-15T15:56:24.110" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;How did you get to be good at the planning part of the game?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More than likely, through experience.  Even for a naturally gifted strategist such as myself, I didn't know how to plan strategy at eight years old.  In fact, I can tell you exactly when I learned: around ten years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's when I learned to beat my dad at chess.  My dad wasn't particularly good, looking back on things; but he was good enough that it was hard to beat him without some concept of planning or strategy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's when I started being good at many strategy games: chess, Risk, etc.  All of that picked up right about the same time in terms of my going from playing at random to playing with a plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my suggestion: let it come with experience.  Keep letting/having him play minecraft.  If you play competitively, play competitively - beat him.  Soundly.  Over and over again.  Explain (at least to some degree) what you did to win - but don't push him to do the same (as you undoubtedly know, pushing never works).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep &lt;strong&gt;exhibiting the behavior&lt;/strong&gt; you want him to learn.  Talk about it.  My dad talked about how he beat me in chess, fairly often, and when I started to think I could do better, I asked for books and other assistance improving my game.  I saw his strategic abilities and wanted to emulate them.  He never let me win, or took it easy on me - once I understood the rules, every game was 100% full speed.  I lost to Qxf7++ more time than I can count before I figured out I had to protect against it - but that made me want to do it ever more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he plays, he'll learn what strategies work and what don't.  He'll learn that planning pays off.  He'll learn strategies you've never thought of, and then eventually be proud of himself when things really start to click.  And that's when he'll learn the payoff of perseverance - when he starts to win because of it.  It might even be random - maybe he has a lucky game where he punches better than usual, or has less monsters spawn near him, and has time to build that first set of armor or weapon.  Either way, he'll see how effective it is, and want to follow that up with more of the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T15:56:24.110" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-15T16:23:40.873" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say that having a coping strategy ready for this is going to be much more valuable to you than attempting to stop someone else making annoying noises. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A set of professional / musician earplugs, for example, can make a huge difference with general &amp;amp; background noise reduction while not preventing you from hearing other people speak to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your chances of getting other children to quiet down are shaky at best, and may aggravate the parent - but a good set of earplugs or noise-cancelling earphones will always work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child's behaviour is &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; out of line and is genuinely causing a problem for you (rather than you just finding it annoying) then a polite word with the parent may be in order; just don't expect it to be fixed as soon as you say something - chances are the parent is already trying to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13217" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T16:23:40.873" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-15T16:31:55.297" Score="74" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, just as acceptable as it would be for you to ask a fellow passenger to get off their phone or stop swaying to the music in their earphones. It's not against the law to request another person stop acting in a way that bothers you. There's lots of people who go around telling others how to live their life in public, and about the only consequence is generally glares or refusal to follow the advice or request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;what is the best way to inform them without making the situation worse? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no ideal way to tell someone that you want them to behave differently, but if you've reached the point where you feel compelled to do so, the best way is to simply ask them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Will you please ask your child to be a little quieter?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cultures you can deflect some of the irritation they will feel by apologizing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;I'm sorry to ask, but will you please help your child to be a little more quiet?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do have a valid medical complaint, some will respond favorably to a plea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;I hate to ask, but I have a head injury/mental illness/etc that is exacerbated by high pitched sounds. Your child is making very repetitive high pitched sounds, and I was hoping you might be able to find a way to quiet them a little.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some areas, requests can be softened by complements:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;You have such a lovely child! I hate to be a bother, but I'm trying to concentrate on this report, and it would be very helpful if your child was a little more quiet.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to avoid offending them, you should consider the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't use negative words to describe their child's actions.  Use &quot;sound&quot; rather than &quot;noise&quot;, for instance.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You don't have a right to a quiet bus ride any more than they have a right to make as much noise as they want.  Don't phrase your request as though your rights or needs are greater than theirs, or in a way that suggest they are doing something wrong or bad.  You have a need, and you are expressing it, but you aren't necessarily more important than them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to engage the adult in conversation to gauge their mental state - if they are already tired or stressed, do you really need to add to that by asking more from them?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It used to be that &quot;children should be seen and not heard&quot; but parents today are more ready to assert their child's right to enjoy life, sometimes loudly, and will instead demand that others accept that children have as much rights as adults to shared spaces. Don't go into the conversation with an expectation that they will comply - the more you phrase it as a request rather than a requirement, the more likely they will comply with the request.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="1700" LastEditDate="2015-06-15T16:53:31.440" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T16:53:31.440" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20749" CreationDate="2015-06-15T16:49:14.217" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My youngest was at a disadvantage with Minecraft compared to her elder siblings - they already had strategic thinking and a competitive streak, but when she tried to play with them it was the same story you describe, Karl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solution - give her a creative only server (ie one with monsters turned off) to practice on. Over the space of about 2 months she worked out everything, including some lovely architectural constructs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then we let her back into the competitive world her brother and sister fought in - and she loves it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try it - it takes the pressure off them for a wee while, and allows them to see what they can create.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-06-15T16:59:48.977" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T16:59:48.977" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20600" CreationDate="2015-06-15T17:01:36.620" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being protective like this is completely normal.  With my first child, I tried not to let anything happen to him and ran to him for every cry.  I wanted nothing but the best for my baby.  I now have three boys and my wife is pregnant again.  The boys are always hurting themselves by falling down, running into things, fighting with each other.  Children, and even infants, are more resilient than you would think.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16762" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T17:01:36.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20756" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-15T17:12:37.300" Score="3" ViewCount="3026" Body="&lt;p&gt;What can I use to soften my 5-month-old baby's hair? Her hair seems tough; it tangles and is always dry regardless of any moisture I put/apply on her hair. She cries when I try to comb and appears to be breaking out at the back of her head. Please, I am eager to hear any possible solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16777" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-15T12:44:40.570" LastActivityDate="2019-04-15T12:44:40.570" Title="How to soften my infant's tough and dry hair?" Tags="|infant|hair|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20599" CreationDate="2015-06-15T17:59:28.900" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is an amazing woman, she can tell by a cry if our kid is tired, hungry, or needs a diaper changed.  There is no &quot;exact&quot; way to know if your baby is hungry.  When I am home alone I usually just go down the checklist.  When he starts getting fussy first check the diaper, then see if he wants a bottle, then try and lay him down to sleep.  Sometimes he is real fussy and doesn't want a bottle or sleep.  At 6 months is around when some babies start teething.  They will be fussy for no reason at all.  Try giving him a piece of cold celery.  He can chew on it without chocking on it.  You can also try baby orajel or tylenol but we try to stay away from the medications.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you asking because you can't tell if you are feeding him enough or because he is always cranky?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16762" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T17:59:28.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20589" CreationDate="2015-06-15T18:08:00.230" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally would not recommend waking your baby up for any reason.  When your baby is ready to eat he will let you know.  There is no reason to wake him and and force him to eat.  The only exception I would say would be a newborn who hasn't eaten yet.  Since your baby is two weeks old, I would let him rest as long as he needs to and feed him when he wakes up.  I have three children currently and every one of them were sleeping 6+ hours through the night by 4 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also congratulations on getting through the jaundice phase.  We only had 1 kid that had it but it wasn't fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16762" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T18:08:00.230" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-15T18:21:16.227" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can relate; I cannot tune out noise either (never have been able to), and it does add to my stress level. People noise is especially distressing to me, though particularly when I'm trying to get something done that requires (for me) &lt;em&gt;relative&lt;/em&gt; quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? And if so, what is the best way to inform them without making the situation worse?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that depends on the type of noise the child is making; is it really outside of socially acceptable norms? If it truly is, then it's acceptable. If it's not, then it's not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One major difference between my experience and yours is that I only ever perceived this as &lt;em&gt;my problem&lt;/em&gt;. I never considered that I had any right to ask people to stop making noise for my sake. (Please don't get me wrong; I have often fervently wished that someone would just stop talking!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess what I'm saying is that the attitude with which you are approaching this affects the way you might seek to deal with this problem. If you approach this with an attitude that you have a right to/need to control the noise level around you, you will desire to trespass on the rights of others. If you approach this with an attitude that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; have a  problem with noise level around you - which is not the responsibility of others to fix - you will seek solutions by dealing with your own levels of anxiety/irritation/other that will give you ways to soothe yourself in all such situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...the child just couldn't stay quiet: she was singing constantly, saying &quot;byebye, please come in&quot; to every car that we came across, even parked cars, being very annoying in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it was just excess energy or ebullience; maybe the child had a neurological disorder of her own. In any case, it is actually her right to sing and speak. I cannot myself imagine asking someone on public transportation to quiet their child. Most parents try to balance the needs of others against the needs of the child - that's commonly known as making their child behave properly in public. If the parent isn't doing something in that situation, either they don't know it's a problem or don't care about you - in which case, they will not take kindly to your request - or they know there's a problem, and they have decided that the only reasonable way to deal with it is to allow the child to chatter on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, I see a problem with the fundamental way you're approaching this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please consider that you might be asking people to give up freedoms they have in order to help you feel better (something that is not looked favorably upon in general). Playing loud music in the middle of the night? Your need wins. Dog constantly barking in the house next door? Check. You win that one, too. Kids running up and down the stairs all day in the apartment adjoining yours? Check. Evangelicals preaching to you at your front door? Check. Telemarketers bothering you? Check. Child singing and chattering on a bus? NOPE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work on developing coping skills for such situations. They will help you far more than the alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Such skills can be to meditate (with practice you can do it almost anywhere), to practice mindfulness (paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally), to play games in your mind or on a phablet, to carry noise-cancelling earphones wherever you go, to listen to music that you especially like through earphones; to imagine what it is like to be that little girl in her sing-song world, making up a non-judgmental different reality, to practice empathy. Any of a vast number of strategies can be learned to deal with stress.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1987-13163-001&quot;&gt;Coping with stress: Divergent strategies of optimists and pessimists.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-15T22:48:13.210" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T22:48:13.210" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-15T19:28:24.690" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your request would go much better if you politely ask the child to stop. This is, of course, assuming the child is old enough to understand you - otherwise I doubt even the parents would have much luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Telling the parent that they should quiet their child puts a lot of stress and attention on them that they simply don't want. I think its most likely that they won't respond well to this, even if they are too polite to say so to your face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could say (&lt;em&gt;without irritation&lt;/em&gt;) something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Excuse me, little miss. You sing beautifully, but I really have a headache. Can you sing a little more quietly for me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This puts no pressure on the parent but will certainly alert them that the noise is bothering you. They will likely reinforce your request with the &quot;I told you so&quot; look. If it seems likely that the child will ignore your request, they may try to distract the child in some other way or they may not - at least then you know they are at least aware that the noise is bothering you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's still possible to get the &quot;Talk to me, not my child&quot; response. In my experience, this hasn't happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own experiences from the past were from working retail - asking children to sit on their butts (in grocery carts) for safety reasons. Usually parents already have asked them once or twice, so getting the parent to do it a third time, and having them go through the stress and embarrassment of having a stranger watch their child not listen, is just not as successful as asking the child yourself and reinforcing their parent's requests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T19:28:24.690" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-15T20:01:01.327" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had some entertaining experience with a loud boy in the bus. In order to overcome the issue I created an Origami bird and showed the boy how the bird can move its wings. The boy was amazed and spend 15 minutes with the bird. Finally, the bird was destroyed and the boy became quiet - I think he was sad he cannot recreated the bird...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion this non stressful interaction useful for the both sides (I had a great day after that).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;this is the link to the origami bird I did for a boy - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys9t5IgmkII&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys9t5IgmkII&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6830" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T20:01:01.327" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20749" CreationDate="2015-06-15T20:29:08.763" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had/have a similar problem with my 10-year old son. He also plays Minecraft and once wanted to connect to his friend's server. Obviously, he typed in the server name wrongly and the connection could not be established. After several failed attempts (this whole thing lasted for less than 5 minutes), he told me that he'd try one more time and give up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are all symptoms of the lack of perseverance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are several things, which I do in order to help him overcome this problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step one: Observe how the level of the emotional arousal increases&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child has several &quot;regimes&quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Normal, constructive one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Agitated (starts hitting the keyboard, clicking more than necessary).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Devastated (cries).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that he can't go directly from the calm state (1) to crying (3). It's not an on-off thing, it's a curve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you pay attention, how he goes up the curve of emotional arousal, you can stop him at the agitated state and then lead back to the normal. One strategy is to make him aware of his state and tell him that one part of being a Ninja (or whoever is his favorite superhero) is to control himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another one is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step two: Send him a subliminal message that he is not in danger&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do it with changing the speed and/or pitch of your voice. It's important that your way of talking is different from his at the moment he is freaking out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another options (if he is comfortable with it) is to hug or touch him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step three: Tell him the embarassing facts without beautifying them&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right after you made attempts of calming him at the emotional level, you can reinforce the effect by engaging his rational mind by saying&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Technology is imperfect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's supposed to malfunction sometimes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Edison did 10000 failed attempts at inventing a lightbulb, so trying to connect to your friend's server for 5 minutes isn't that bad.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step four: Show him the right thing to do&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he didn't smash the keyboard by now, you had some success. Now you can &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;either tell him, what constructive things he can do (e. g. ask his friend to send him a screenshot of the server settings) or, better,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;help him come up with constructive solutions himself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The right thing to do is, of course, to generate some solution ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step five: Follow-up&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 1-2 days, talk with him about the experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it was positive (he achieved his goal by not giving up), you can tell him that not giving up pays off (he didn't give up and got the fun of playing with his friend as a result).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it was worse than it could be, you can encourage him to talk about what he could do different in a similar situation in future.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step six: Repeat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From time to time, talk with him about persistence in different, ideally non-obvious ways. Biographies of great people (most of them worked hard), movies, activities (incl. but not limited to video games), metaphors. The important thing is that such skills can be developed through repetition only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may set yourself a reminder (e. g. in Evernote) that in X weeks/months you want to give your child another lesson in persistence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more idea: Consider buying a Minecraft realm (or setting up a local Minecraft server) and play the game together with your son (so that both of you are in the same world). The benefit is that in this case you can show him &lt;strong&gt;by your example&lt;/strong&gt;, how to plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user14348" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T20:29:08.763" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20749" CreationDate="2015-06-15T21:23:40.753" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a really hard time with this sort of thing myself, when I was young.  My dad taught me chess then, with the same &quot;full speed&quot; method that I saw mentioned in another answer.  I gave up, and hated chess for years, because at the time I felt like my dad was just rubbing it in my face and not really helping me be better at chess (which was partly true and partly false, I think).  The problem I remember having was that &lt;em&gt;I could not envision what a successful chess game was supposed to look like.&lt;/em&gt;  This is because I never actually won at chess against my dad, he only showed me how to move the pieces and then proceeded to brutally slaughter me, hoping that I would just get determined enough to figure it out.  I wanted to figure it out, but I couldn't see the endgame that I was shooting for, so I gave up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a different school on this whole thing.  I think of mother cats teaching their kittens to hunt.  They start out catching a wounded mouse and letting them play with it, so that they can get the taste of the kill.  This is important for some kids.  They may not comprehend how to play the game until they can win a full game with opening, middle, and endgame...even if it is easier.  Once an easier win is accomplished, they have a 'template' from which to analyze and improve on future failure.  I stayed away from chess for almost 15 years after my dad tried to teach me, until I got this template playing online.  After that, my chess skills improved quickly and I finally beat my dad at chess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem wasn't that I lacked intelligence, or the desire, or even the quality of persistence.  My problem was that I literally could not see what the endgame was supposed to look like.  I have to be able to envision the future before I can work towards it.  Perhaps your son has the qualities, but doesn't know what the successful version of his game should or could look like.  In which case, my answer would be to show him a taste of what proper planning can achieve, and then see what he makes of it once he realizes how powerful it can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16784" LastActivityDate="2015-06-15T21:23:40.753" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20756" CreationDate="2015-06-15T22:15:23.427" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Edit:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When writing the answer below, I had misread &quot;breaking out&quot; as &quot;breaking off&quot;. In all cases of rash, pustules, red dots or other changes always check with your healtcare provider &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt; to exclude medical conditions that need professional treatment. Especially fungal infections and oil can be counter-indicative. If the breaking out is simply caused by mechanical stress or hair that is broken or rubbed off, proceed as stated below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you need to realize &lt;em&gt;what causes the hair to tangle and break&lt;/em&gt;:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;At five months, your child spends a lot of time on her back, even if you subtract tummy time and carrying her around. And an infant's head is comparatively heavy. So she will rub on her hair by simply moving her head from side to side,both when awake or sleeping.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Some children have hair that tends to tangle a lot naturally, others' hair is somewhat smoother. But it will always be the bit at the upper back of the head that is affected the most.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With time, this will sort itself, but in the mean time, I can think of two ways to tackle this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not or rarely wash your baby's hair with soap or shampoo. Honestly, a baby at that age doesn't get very dirty, so in most cases, some lukewarm water should be enough to clean it. All shampoos remove natural oils, making hair more prone to matting and tangling. If you must use shampoo, use a  tiny, tiny bit of very mild baby shampoo. I would really splurge here and buy a good, gentle brand, possibly organic, because it will last a long time. Ask around for recommendations, especially look for babies with similar hair type than your daughter. It's hard to give a product name over the internet. I'd stay away from products with silicone. They will leave the hair soft, but their impact on babies is somewhat unclear. (At least according to my sources here in Germany.) A drop or two of natural oil - the same kind that you'd use on her body - should make detangling easier, but use very little, too much may attract more dust and dirt, requiring washing. Oil can be applied to wet or dry hair.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Remove sources of friction on the hair. Some (adult) people swear by silk pillow cases instead of plain cotton for brittle hair. You could splurge and make a mattress cover out of silk, but another typical culprit is the car seat, so covering the head rest there might be even more effective, especially if she spends a lot of time in it. When washing the hair, use gentle strokes, not vigorous rubbing. Same goes for toweling off - blot, don't rub. Check hats and other head gear and, if possible, leave them off. Brushing the hair is basically a good idea, but if it's already too matted and overly painful, you might just let it be for a while and/or cut it off and try to prevent it with the new growth.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-06-16T05:47:42.443" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T05:47:42.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-16T08:00:00.577" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent myself, I understand if some of kid's behaviors are annoying to some people. But a kid singing a song repetitively is very different to kids who kick other people's seats. I myself would scold my kid who did the latter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But kids are kids, they do things repetitively when they learn something new so we have to understand it &lt;strong&gt;as long as it is not hurting you physically&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But as a person who has Asperger's you can try using noise cancelling headphones when commuting; you cannot always explain yourself so I'd rather do that if I were you. Win-win situation. We also do not know what the parent is coming from at that point in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the quote says, &quot;Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16798" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-06-16T10:26:24.723" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T10:26:24.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-16T09:51:42.940" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends how loud the child is and how old the child is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're shouting their head off, they're old enough to know better, and their parent(s) aren't intervening, then consider saying something.  If they're no louder than regular conversation, or if they're too young to reason with (anything under 2, pretty much), or if their parent is clearly trying to keep order and the kid is playing up, then there's nothing you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're not that loud and it's just that they have a high-pitched voice which gets on your nerves, that's &lt;em&gt;YOUR&lt;/em&gt; problem.  Own it.  The rest of the world doesn't stop for you.  I'm sorry if this is unsympathetic to your condition, but the solution is for you to develop coping strategies (headphones, music, phone games, whatever).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're too young, then sure, that's annoying.  But there's nothing anyone can do about it, so there's no point asking the parent(s) to do anything because they can't.  Babies just do that, and the rest of the human race has to grin and bear it, because that's the price of continuing the species.  This is something you need to expect in a public environment, and again it comes down to &lt;em&gt;YOU&lt;/em&gt; getting some coping strategies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if the kid is clearly acting up and the parent is already doing what they can and is stressed out, please don't make things worse for them.  They're having a bad enough day as it is, and if you start having a go then you're likely to either drive them to tears or drive them to have a go back at you.  Kids sometimes do this, and again the rest of the world just needs to remember they were that age once as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14637" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-06-19T12:33:08.697" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T12:33:08.697" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3882" CreationDate="2015-06-16T12:49:38.300" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use bottle to feed my baby. My doctor advised me to sterilize the bottles on daily basis.Because it is not possible to create a totally germ-free environment so sterilizing baby bottles is very important otherwise bacteria, viruses and parasites can gather and make baby ill. Continue it for one year so that the baby will start producing their own antibodies and be resistant to harmful germs and bacteria. If it is possible continue it until your baby stops using them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use electric steam sterilizer for sterilizing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T12:49:38.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-16T15:41:04.540" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing you could do is &lt;strong&gt;talk directly to the child&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm sorry to bother you, but I am not feeling very well. Would it be okay for us to be a bit quieter for a bit? You know what it's like when you're poorly.&#xA;  I'd really appreciate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, you have to judge the situation (I recommend looking at the child while talking, and when you pause immediately looking to the parent to make sure they're not looking angry) and make sure you're not coming across as a threat, but a lot of children will respond well to being treated like a person instead of a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, the main danger you run is that the child will then start &quot;shushing&quot; &lt;em&gt;EVERYONE else on the bus&lt;/em&gt; (including her own parent), but hey, that works in your favour...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T15:41:04.540" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20778" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-16T16:37:53.597" Score="7" ViewCount="2250" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five year-old daughter has a strong interest in learning to cook.  I frequently let her participate in ways like measuring and stirring.  She also wants to learn things like cooking eggs, as evidenced by her sneaking eggs into her room last night to practice, but she is afraid of the stove.  It's not an hysterical fear, just an overabundance of caution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any tricks or techniques to make overcoming that fear easier?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2018-12-27T04:27:45.810" Title="Overcoming a fear of the stove" Tags="|teaching|cooking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20778" CreationDate="2015-06-16T17:41:21.573" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Anything new has the potential for being frightening to a child.  Add to that the very real threat of getting burned...it's not surprising that she's being cautious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was reluctant to do things like help stir food because of the heat that rises up from the burner.  I let him use an oven mitten and soon he was stirring like a champ.  Knowing that he didn't have to worry about brushing up against the burner or touching the hot part of the pan gave him self confidence, and eventually familiarity (which is really what is needed) and now he doesn't need to use the &quot;safety glove&quot; all that often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T17:41:21.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20780" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20785" CreationDate="2015-06-16T18:10:12.953" Score="11" ViewCount="1147" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently had an experience that's very similar to the question asked here &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/20744/how-should-i-inform-parents-if-their-children-are-bothering-me&quot;&gt;How should I inform parents if their children are bothering me?&lt;/a&gt; but this time from the other side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are very noisy. I have 3 of them (1,3,5) and they are awsome. They have a diagnosis of 'signs of autistic behaviour', because they are too young to receive the official autistic diagnosis here but everyone (daycare teachers etc) seems to think they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 'problems' falls into 2 categories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they need constant supervision. They are all 3 very different but each in their own way have a way to 'demand' 24/7 attention. This means that if they are playing nice but a bit loud, or are singing or doing many things that fall in the 'loud but not dangerous nor totally obnoxious' category, it means i leave them at it to give the others attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it is very hard to get through to them. They have to put their cloths on the exactly the right order. If we go for a walk and take a wrong turn i have to carry 1 or 2 kids back to the house screaming all the way. and many more examples like this&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This results in that we are often 'behind the facts' and are just extinguising fires (figuratively) rather than having much time to teach them how to read their own books or anything i can do to teach them to act more quietly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my neighbour complains that my kids are making noise all the time. And they are. If one of them is not crying they are literally squeaking and jumping of joy. And i honestly feed bad that when he took a few days off to study he can't concentrate because of my kids. Makes me wish they were only singing when on the bus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have some tips how i can teach my kids to calm down, especially in a house where most likely 1 or 2 others are not calm. It frustrates us probably just as much as our neighbour but I have no clue how to get ahead of our problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14522" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T21:15:27.513" Title="How to deal with kids who are bothering others" Tags="|toddler|behavior|autism|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20778" CreationDate="2015-06-16T18:25:05.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children (almost 4 and 2) are a bit scared of the stove as well, and we've been working on this slowly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, the main things they do involving the stove are two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Adding chocolate chips to pancakes after I've placed them on the griddle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stirring macaroni in boiling water in process of making mac+cheese.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both are things that they really enjoy, so the desire to do it overcomes their fears most of the time - even to the point that the older one briefly touched the griddle and managed to be okay coming back to put more chips on after we cooled his hand down.  The idea here is simply that we're getting them comfortable with being around the stove, building confidence and tolerance, sort of like teaching swimming by starting with just being in the water not doing anything for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the stirring, he uses a really long handled spoon/spatula, which allows him to be quite far away from the pot and very safe in terms of not getting splashed.  Being on a stable and tall stool are also key; being able to look down at the pot is important as it gives him a good sense of control (and is safer to boot).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of what we do still of course is non-stovetop work; mixing pancake batter by hand or in the stand mixer, mixing smoothies in the blender, adding liquids to things.  I like doing these kinds of activities, in part because I hope they will encourage them to be interested in cooking and in being involved - and then lead to wanting to do more on the stove.  Of course, it sounds like you're already mostly there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you might consider getting a hot plate or an electric griddle for her to practice with.  That gives the great advantage of being able to be placed at her height, as well as being much smaller in size.  The griddle in particular is nice because it means you don't have a pan to manage - the griddle is the pan.  Thus no risk of knocking it off.  It can be set to a fairly low temperature (which makes eggs easier, anyway!) and since most are non-stick you can avoid the risk of oil splattering (you may want to use a bit of oil, but much, much less, though of course you can use a non-stick pan for the same purpose).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something like &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00006IUWL&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a small Presto-type&lt;/a&gt; would work, for example; usually available in the $20-$25 range and nicely small for a child. They also usually have a temperature control rather than just 'medium', which makes it a lot easier to cook consistently in my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T18:25:05.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20783" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20830" CreationDate="2015-06-16T19:11:21.053" Score="14" ViewCount="4229" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was raised with a father who was dependent on alcohol and who was very abusive emotionally but sometimes physically towards my mother. At that time I wished I wouldn't have a father at all. But I know he was there to support us financially and sometimes it wasn't that bad. During the time when he was sober and behaving normally, he was showing affection and love towards us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now when I look at it I wonder if it's better to have an absent father or a father with dependent drinking who is present. Is there any study showing that having an abusive father dependent on alcohol is better than an absent one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents' generation tended to stay in a marriage in spite of these problems. But now people advise to get a divorce. I'm wondering which is better for the children? All the studies I found only compare good present fathers vs absent ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12004" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-05T13:43:07.897" LastActivityDate="2019-07-14T21:39:22.677" Title="Absent Father vs. Father with alcohol addiction" Tags="|abuse|father|research|alcohol|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="369" CreationDate="2015-06-16T19:22:44.407" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was young my mum dealt with this by buying some batteries, torch bulbs, switches, bits of wire etc and taught me how electricity works. I had lots of books on electricity. I understood that mains was dangerous, but I didn't need to play around with it because I could do the same stuff with wires and batteries. Plus it was incredibly educational.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T19:22:44.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20780" CreationDate="2015-06-16T21:15:27.513" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hate to break it to you, but you're probably going to have to figure it out on your own, or with the help of an occupational therapist.  My daughter has cerebral palsy and often gets loud and bothersome as you describe, but the things we have learned that calm her don't work at all for my nephews with down syndrome or autism, or even other children with cerebral palsy.  They can be as different from each other as they are different from neurotypical children.  Doctors with a lot of experience working with kids like my daughter still defer to us in that area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things to try as you find what works for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try different responses, even things that seem extreme or out of your nature:  scream, stay silent, look away, stare, hold him tightly, don't touch at all, whisper, act silly.  It feels weird to scream at my daughter, but sometimes that's exactly what she needs to snap out of screaming herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try different kinds of sensory stimulation.  My daughter loves &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.com/B002GEJYHI&quot;&gt;these spinning light toys&lt;/a&gt; that vibrate.  Kids may be over or under-sensitive.  There are a lot of good ideas to try &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism.org.uk/sensory&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learn the triggers.  This can take a while to cover every situation, but they don't tend to change very often.  Try to find principles that will let you generalize to unknown situations.  That sensory page can help.  For example, taking a wrong turn may be upsetting because it's a deviation from the routine, but it might also be the sun in his eyes, or the dog that lives on that street, or the sidewalk being too bumpy, or a weird smell, or simply not having been given enough advance warning of the turn.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We originally thought my daughter's problem with crowds was just the over-stimulation, which is part of it, but a much larger part was the stress of navigating her wheelchair without hitting someone.  If we drive her wheelchair through crowds, she does much better.  Challenge your assumptions where triggers are concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't make it all or nothing.  I can keep my daughter from screaming at the grocery store, but it's impossible to keep her quiet, and if I try, it makes it worse.  We do this banter thing where every 10-15 seconds I ask her a question or she asks me one.  Mostly the same two questions:  &quot;Are you coming?&quot; or &quot;Where are we going?&quot;  It's probably super-annoying for outsiders to hear, but it's &lt;strong&gt;way&lt;/strong&gt; better than the alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck, and remember, you're probably doing better than you think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T21:15:27.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20379" CreationDate="2015-06-16T23:38:01.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What (mostly) worked for us: sit baby on one knee facing the other.  One hand in front (under chin), on hand in back, and tilt baby up/down and back/forth a couple of times then try burping.  Somehow, it helped moved the gas around.  Also, you have to work at it.  Sometimes you have to sit and burp for a good 30 mins to get it all out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16755" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T23:38:01.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-16T23:40:19.683" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You understand what it is like to not be neurotypical, and therefore perhaps also to exhibit behaviors other people might find annoying -- though we all agree that the proper response from them is to let you be, unless you are truly and objectively disruptive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it would help you to empathize by remembering that children are also not (yet) neurotypical adults, and cut them the slack that you would expect for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child talking and singing, having a high-pitched voice, talking to or about things that you would not, is normal and acceptable behavior for them. If not at excessive volume (let's say, not louder than two nearby adults having a conversation on the bus), it is not something to interfere with, IMHO. Annoying to you or not, it seems just as improper to ask a child to stop normal behavior as it would be for somebody asking you to stop something that is normal to you, but annoying to them. It is common courtesy to allow a certain amount of annoying, but normal, behaviors in a public place to pass without comment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer is based on the assumption (from my read of the original question) that the child's behavior is not outside of developmental or societal norms, is not bothering anybody else enough to mention it, and is not technically misbehavior -- not kicking the seat, yelling, saying socially unacceptable things. Misbehavior is a different story, and not one you seem to be asking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2015-06-16T23:40:19.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8741" CreationDate="2015-06-17T06:31:16.270" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to the school. They should have an anti-bullying policy. Get it and insist that they apply it in this case. Write to the teachers. Identify the specific hurtful behaviours being used and insist that they are stamped on. The only way to stop this is to make it clear to the bullies that their behaviour will not be tolerated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bullying is child abuse, no two ways about it. If the bullies were adults they would already be in prison, but because they are children its thought of as not important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-06-17T06:31:16.270" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20783" CreationDate="2015-06-17T14:43:59.587" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children have a human right to a family life with their parents; and parents have a human right to a family life with their children; but everything must be done with the child's best interests in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to be protected from harm. Witnessing abuse is harmful. Children need to be protected from that.  Being in the presence of a drunk person carries increased risk of accidental harm; and there's some risk just from witnessing someone being drunk.  Note use of the word drunk there - some of the harms are reduced if the person with dependant drinking is not drunk when in the presence of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That evidence of harm caused by abusive or drunk parents is pretty clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's still possible for a violent parent with problem or dependant drinking to have contact with their child.  (So long as the parent has not been violent to the child.). This might be at a children's contact centre, with constant one to one supervision to start, and then moving to group supervision. If the parent proves trust (that they don't turn up to contact sessions drunk, or that they have a close and loving bond with the child) they can move to unsupervised access.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in general: protect children from harm; drunk violent parents are a source of significant risks of harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-06-18T12:44:21.590" LastActivityDate="2015-06-18T12:44:21.590" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20613" CreationDate="2015-06-17T15:42:57.790" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your son is using the TOR network then there is practically nothing you can do stop him browsing any website he likes and there is no way to monitor the sites he does browse.   Website blockers or firewalls, either in software or in your router, cannot block TOR.  Other tools that you may buy cannot block TOR.  The Chinese government are doing everything they can to block TOR, and cannot block all of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the point is that you cannot block him if he knows what he is doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 16 now which is practically an adult. If he wants to watch porn or read about bomb-making, then he'll do it, and there's probably not much you do about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have said, it's probably time to stop controlling your son and to begin trusting him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16775" LastActivityDate="2015-06-17T15:42:57.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2015-06-17T16:52:39.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is this normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my kids is like that; everything is &quot;red&quot;. When asked to match colors, though, she can. What I did was show her colour swatches and asked her to show me things that were the same colour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I showed her the yellow swatch and asked her to show me something that was the same colour, she picked my yellow sweater. This meant she could differentiate the colors themselves; it was just the names that confused her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16822" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-17T23:43:19.713" LastActivityDate="2015-06-17T23:43:19.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-17T20:30:21.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Have a good distraction for the kid with you.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm very sorry, but I have a condition that makes it really hard for me to hear your child's singing. Would she perhaps like to watch Sesame Street / play Minecraft / etc on my phone / iPad / etc?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This avoids all the cases where the parent is unable to quieten the kid, and makes it rather hard for them to say no without thinking of some alternative themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course the kid's sounds will be replaced by those of Sesame Street in this case, but it'll probably be a lot less loud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6797" LastActivityDate="2015-06-17T20:30:21.733" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11707" CreationDate="2015-06-18T06:04:44.840" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is adapted from &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18033/11394&quot;&gt;an answer&lt;/a&gt; to another question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18031/2-5-year-old-girl-always-picks-black/&quot;&gt;2,5 year old girl always picks black&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, the linked source in that answer, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-johnny-name-colors/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Why Johnny Can't Name His Colors&lt;/a&gt;, mentions prenominal versus postnominal use of colors. This set me on track to this research article, &lt;a href=&quot;http://psych.stanford.edu/~michael/papers/2007_ramscar_surprise.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Surprise in the Learning of Color Words (PDF)&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The research suggests that using postnominal (or post-nominal) training is better for teaching children colors than prenominal training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Results indicate that children as young as 2 years&#xA;  begin to reliably master color words when hearing them in&#xA;  training presented post-nominally, but not pre-nominally,&#xA;  and that adults challenged with learning novel color&#xA;  categories are affected by the same ordering effects. We&#xA;  suggest that children’s difficulty with color word learning is&#xA;  in part due to the challenge of having to make predictions&#xA;  &lt;em&gt;from&lt;/em&gt; words &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; the properties they refer to, rather than being&#xA;  able to make predictions &lt;em&gt;from&lt;/em&gt; the world &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; the words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prenominal: &quot;The red ball.&quot; The color comes before (pre) the noun (nominal)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Postnominal: &quot;The ball that is red.&quot; The color comes after (post) the noun (nominal)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I don't mean to merely replicate @Bossykena's answer. I think the study I linked to provides better support for using postnominal training. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I read the answer on the other question, we were having trouble getting my son to identify colors correctly. So, with the study in hand, my wife and I proceeded to use color descriptions almost exclusively in a postnominal fashion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We saw immediate results. His grasp of colors and ability to identify similar objects correctly by their colors grew enormously in a short time. The largest results were in the first couple of weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would also go out of our way to include color descriptions when speaking to him. We were already doing that in a prenominal fashion, but without much success. This leads me to give credit solely to the postnominal training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, we also tried to increase our use of American Sign Language when using colors. The ASL usage did not appear to have any real effect at that time, but we did not put a particular emphasis on the ASL at the time. Mainly, it was used to reinforce that the color words were the &quot;key&quot; words of the sentences. With our new child, we'll likely place a greater emphasis on ASL during color learning, mostly because our own confidence in ASL has grown. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we don't know for sure that the ASL helped, but it was a factor, I felt it worth mentioning. If nothing else, it may help &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; feel like you're doing more, which can be emotionally satisfying on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use postnominal color descriptions: &quot;The bucket that is yellow.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Describe objects with colors more often (or parts of objects): &quot;Go get your socks that have bottoms that are black.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try including ASL if you want more physical/active training&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-06-18T06:04:44.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20801" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20804" CreationDate="2015-06-18T17:58:08.740" Score="9" ViewCount="2403" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a four and a half year old boy with juvenile autism, almost no verbal language and intellectual disability. He doesn't understand the concept of going potty yet, and is still wearing diapers both for number one and number two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can handle having to change him, but the trouble is he  pulls out his penis and pees, takes off his diaper or sticks his hand in his diaper after doing number two, and makes a horrible mess of both himself and his surroundings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'd think we'd be able to stop him, but he's so fast we just need to turn our heads for a few seconds and he'll have done it again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only method we've found that keeps him from being able to do this is to dress him in tight fitting onesies with the zipper in the back, but those are hard to find in shops and makes him look even more &quot;special needs&quot; than he already does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be very happy if anyone had any alternative methods to share!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16803" LastActivityDate="2015-06-18T21:08:41.667" Title="How can I keep my autistic kid from making an unhygienic mess?" Tags="|potty-training|hygiene|diaper|autism|special-needs|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20803" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20806" CreationDate="2015-06-18T20:24:57.593" Score="1" ViewCount="4520" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a 19-year-old man. I have a job and live with uncle and auntie, because my parents don't live in the country I live in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't plan to quit smoking, at least for now ,because it does have almost the same effect as some medications I would have to take (as it is to calm me down).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a nice way to tell them that I smoke? Or should I wait more?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16836" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-08T18:04:33.317" LastActivityDate="2018-09-08T18:04:33.317" Title="How should I tell my parents that I smoke?" Tags="|parents|communication|adult-child|drugs|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20801" CreationDate="2015-06-18T21:08:41.667" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter seems to like shoving her hand down her diapers. She is a scratch fan so she just tears up her skin unless we block her with a onesie. They make them for larger kids too: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.special-need-products.com/bodysuit-onesie.html#sthash.f3wx1Jj1.dpbs&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;www.special-need-products.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They look like normal shirts so he shouldn't appear strangely to anyone. Just that when he does decide to give the toilet a try he will need extra help for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-06-18T21:08:41.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4569" CreationDate="2015-06-19T00:00:31.877" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I lived in England when my kids were little. The sidewalks were narrow and often crowded. I had 4 kids......I used a harness because that was common there and made sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that we know more about the human brain and that it isn't developed until it is at least 25 yrs old, I think making a kid wear one makes even more sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Americans were the only ones upset by my kids being controlled, and one woman shouted at me, &quot;Why would I treat my kids like I would a dog&quot;? I wondered why she thought my kids weren't as valuable to me as my dog was. I told her I restrained my dog because I loved it, wanted to keep it safe, and wanted to respect other's right to safely use the sidewalks too......knowing that not everybody loves tripping over 3 yr old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16837" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T00:00:31.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20803" CreationDate="2015-06-19T00:14:53.687" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there a nice way to tell them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not quite sure I know what you mean by &quot;a nice way&quot;. If you mean, a way that they won't be upset or won't cause a scene, you might try taking them out to dinner at a very nice restaurant and breaking the news to them there after a couple glasses of fine wine. That will probably force them to keep their voices down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they accuse you of being too young, you can point out that you've just taken them to a very nice restaurant, for which you're footing the bill, and therefore, if you're old enough to earn money and take them out, you're old enough to decide if you want to smoke or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they accuse you of poor decision making, you can point out that you've just taken them to a very nice restaurant, and if you can pick out a nice restaurant without their help, you can also make a decision about which vices to embrace without their help.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they criticize you for profligate spending on an unhealthy habit, you can point out that you've just taken them to a very nice restaurant, for which you're footing the bill, and that they've just had expensive wine, and if you're old enough to earn money and they don't mind drinking wine which costs a lot of money, then you have enough money to spend on cigarettes, and throw in the wine as a costly vice, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you mean, a way that will make them happy, I would suggest that you find good studies showing evidence that smoking is good for you, will make you less prone to joblessness, depression, and will help you find a good husband/wife/partner; parents are notoriously in favor of good habits, work ethics, good mental health and good marriages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't find such studies, I might suggest waiting to tell them until you land the perfect job and spouse; then announce your job, introduce your spouse, and light a cigarette. They can hardly complain when you've given them such good news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T00:14:53.687" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20807" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20818" CreationDate="2015-06-19T01:42:56.923" Score="5" ViewCount="179" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-and-a-half year old communicates very well, and we talk constantly about things he sees, or what he's feeling, or just about his toys. However, when he uses longer sentences or words that are newer to him, I occasionally have trouble understanding what he's saying. In these cases, I'll usually cheerfully respond with something to the effect of, &quot;what was that, sweetheart?&quot; but then he acts embarrassed and either shakes his head or says something like, &quot;why are you saying that!&quot; (referring to himself, presumably) before running off to play with his toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this common with children who are learning to communicate more complex ideas? How can I help him feel more confident in his communication, and specifically, how can I help him feel empowered to try out new words and sentences without feeling embarrassed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15003" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T17:27:26.027" Title="How can I help my toddler feel confident in his communication?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|communication|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20803" CreationDate="2015-06-19T02:08:13.863" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest not to tell them that you smoke. Instead, When you decide to quit smoking tell everyone around you including your parents that you are going to give up smoking on so and so date. That will put some positive pressure on you to in giving up the habit and it will also make them happy that have made a healthy decision and will support you in every way possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might feel that they will appreciate you by telling them truth but it might not be the case. To make them happy tell them you are quitting smoking or quit smoking and don't tell them at all. I never told my parents that I smoked but somehow they found out but they were happy to learn that I no longer smoke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T02:08:13.863" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20809" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-19T04:51:11.610" Score="1" ViewCount="184" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have our night time routine but it has stopped working. She refuses to go to sleep. We ask her to stay in bed she'll squirm and walk her feet up the wall. She seems full of energy. She also has a 2 year old brother in the same room.  He's pretty good about putting himself to sleep but when she acts up it affects him and things snowball. If she cries it sometimes upsets him. Screaming contests sometimes ensue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We would give her books and a flashlight and ask her to have quiet time. She would finish the books and still not want to stay in bed and go to sleep. All of this is happening around 8 pm. Tonight she didn't sleep until 9pm-ish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried to have her walk on her arms like wheelbarrowing yesterday and I don't think it worked. She still gets out of bed. Sometimes she would insist on not staying in bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should we do?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-20T02:44:00.923" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T19:58:57.000" Title="Almost 4 year old does not want to go to bed at night" Tags="|bedtime|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20807" CreationDate="2015-06-19T07:51:03.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is common among the toddlers. Even if it is complex idea, then also they will try to communicate it with the words they know and for the first time they will express it with more patience and excitement. If we ask them to repeat it again, then they will feel like frustrated and embarrassed, so don't try to ask them twice instead give them a smile for whatever they say. As a parent I can understand your concern that you need to improve their communication skills and build self confidence. Here are few ways you can try: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Positive two-way communication is very important here, to build self confidence in toddlers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Be patient and listen to your toddler attentively what he is trying to say&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Give him sufficient time to finish off the words he wanna say&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Praise him for whatever he do - this will help to boost his self confidence and enables them to feel worthy and loved and also motivates him to learn new things&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Find the right time and take your child with affection and try to correct their mistakes by explaining them with examples of normal conversations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here you can find more effective ways to encourage and build self confidence in your toddler &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/ways-to-build-confidence-in-toddlers_00352038/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/ways-to-build-confidence-in-toddlers_00352038/&lt;/a&gt;. Hope this helps you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T07:51:03.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20811" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-19T08:34:12.223" Score="3" ViewCount="30936" Body="&lt;p&gt;My breastfed 14 month old is barely eating any solids. We started solids at about 6 months and skipped pureeing the food and went straight to finger foods but he never really showed much interest in food at all. He'll ocasionally have some greek yogurt, some fruit and bits of pasta when we have it, but that's about it. We're not making a big deal because I'm still at home (and will be for three more months), he's chunky and healthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's not being forced into anything, we usually put him in his highchair or next to us when we eat and offer whatever we're having and most of the time he just turns away his head. He tried feeding himself maybe five times but he normally just plays with whatever's on his tray. He does like to put tiny bits of lint from the carpet in his mouth though, but we haven't yet tried to put bits of food on the floor :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I'm going back to work in three months and he's going to be in daycare for about 8-9 hours a day. I won't be able to bring pumped milk to daycare. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to stop breastfeeding or try limiting it if I don't have to because that doesn't seem to work. I'm hoping for some advice from people who had similar experiences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6420" LastActivityDate="2022-06-27T21:51:20.317" Title="One year old still not eating solids" Tags="|food|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20812" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20823" CreationDate="2015-06-19T08:41:54.033" Score="4" ViewCount="1218" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 month old has been affraid when at the doctor's office from when he was about 8-9 months old. He was having a normal checkup and didn't even get any shots but started crying when the doctor checked him. Next time he cried as soon as the nurse tried measuring his head circumference. The time after that he cried as soon as we were in the nurses office and now he cries as soon as he sees either the nurse or the doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This, however, also happens wheneer we're in an office like environment. We recently went to enroll him in daycare and he started screaming in fear both times we entered their offices and just this week we went to and old neighbor's apartment (he's never been there) and he started screaming and stiffened up in fear as I was holding him, and stopped as soon as we were out the door. Same thing happened when we tried taking his photo for his ID. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I can do to help him with this fear or do I just need to wait it out? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6420" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T22:44:41.087" Title="One year old scared of the doctor and similar situations" Tags="|toddler|fears|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6109" CreationDate="2015-06-19T09:30:42.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to keep kids engage is by aking them to play with old fashioned toys- like blocks, and balls. Fingerpaints is another option and you can even use some shaving cream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even you can make them to sing and dance. I use to do with my Lo. We sing together and dance. Here are few activities like &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;contact paper crafts:If you remove the backing and tape it on the table with sticky side up and you can provide a fun work surface for you LO. Give him the construction papers squares and show him how to stick them to the paper. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play hide and seek game to find the matching pairs things&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make a nursery rhyme themed sensory or water play tub&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;make pictures and patterns on the window with foam and water&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paintings: Make them to paint &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coloring pages: Kids will love doing this activity. Just you need to collect few sheets from online and take the print out that and give to your LO to color those.&#xA;Here is disney coloring pages which I have downloaded for my kid.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/disney-coloring-pages_0086350/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/disney-coloring-pages_0086350/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Few other activities were you can make you kid busy and have lots of fun &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mommyish.com/2013/07/18/cheap-and-easy-toddler-activities/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mommyish.com/2013/07/18/cheap-and-easy-toddler-activities/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T09:30:42.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20811" CreationDate="2015-06-19T10:28:26.730" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Normally, babies when they are around 4 to 6 months they become curious about the food and they begin to reach for the food from their mother plate. It becomes enjoyable and social experience when that are eating. Mos of the babies will continuing to breastfeed and to have solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are few reason why babies will refuse to have solid foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vitamin and mineral deficiencies can result in food refusal. Sometimes it may be due to medical problems that results in inability to metabolize micornutrients. May mother has a deficiency because the mother;s milk may be lacking of vitamin or mineral.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There could be a problem in the child;s throat that may affect his willingness to swallow solids &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;feeding aversion may result if something about the solid food feeding experience feels unpleasant to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby need to have a medical evaluation and the mother need be tested for vitamin b(12) deficiency. Mother need to continue to breastfeed till they figure out why the baby refuses solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T10:28:26.730" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-19T13:08:27.573" Score="5" Body="&lt;h2&gt;No, there is no good reliable way to achieve this&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no, it's not acceptable for you to complain to a parent about a young child singing quietly on a bus. There is no socially good way for you to accomplish this, it would be overstepping your bounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Context is everything&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine you are eating a Bacon sandwich. I'm a vegetarian and on a diet and I don't like bacon, so I come up and ask you to put your sandwich away. This would not be reasonable because eating a bacon sandwich is inside socially acceptable bounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine instead you are eating a bacon sandwich and you walk into a synagogue. In this instance it would be acceptable for me to ask you to put your sandwich away because eating bacon in a synagogue is not inside socially acceptable bounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Context is everything. Context is often hard for ASD people who tend to try to extrapolate general rules. I should know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young children burble and wriggle and talk quietly to themselves and there's little any parent can do (short of yelling) to prevent this. For this reason, quiet baby noise in a public, non-quiet space is socially acceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, quiet baby noise in a space where you could reasonably expect silence (such as a cinema or theatre) is not socially acceptable. Parents of young children generally do no take them into such spaces because of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;You are highly likely to create conflict&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents of young children receive special consideration (help on and off transport, doors held open, etc) because of the hard job they are doing. Attacking that would be going against that cultural norm and would have to be handled very sensitively. If you are on the spectrum I suspect sensitivity may not be your strong suit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, most parent's are highly protective of their children, and may also be sleep deprived. Any perceived slur against their child or parenting style coming from a stranger is not likely to be taken well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-06-19T13:55:18.073" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T13:55:18.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20102" CreationDate="2015-06-19T15:56:52.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ex game addict from age of 14 to 18.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Looking back at the reason why I played games so much is because I didn't enjoy life as much. Found life online to be more exciting than real life. Following reasons were to blame. Huge financial problems in family which caused both parents to work long hours and there was not enough money for me to be in various clubs such as karate and etc. Also financial stress was causing family problems, which also caused me to want to lose myself in online world. On top of that school was extremely easy and thus didn't offer a challenge.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So my reasons summed up are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No money for extra sport activities&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Family relations strain&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;School is too easy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Too much free time on my hands&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fixing it was very easy. I just went to university where I met great friends, was challenged enough with the workload from university that I didn't have much free time. And I received government student loan, so had money to go out sometimes. On top of that family problems got fixed too. Since then I haven't felt interest to touch games because tbh I do not even have time to do so with all the excitement in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what I would recommend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get your son excited about something. And make sure he follows through on that something and doesn't stop. Addiction is caused by too much free time and lack of excitement in life. Eliminate those and your son will be back to normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are my two cents, on how I cured my addiction. Not sure if this works for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2231" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T15:56:52.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20807" CreationDate="2015-06-19T17:27:26.027" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 27 month old makes me think I'm losing my hearing sometimes, between his higher-pitched (and thus less easily understood) voice, and his obviously imperfect enunciation.  I'm totally with you on this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I do is try to avoid saying &amp;quot;what&amp;quot;, or other &amp;quot;I didn't understand you&amp;quot; type phrases.  They are understandably frustrating.  I know a family member who &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; hard of hearing, and it's extraordinarily frustrating to him when he has to say that all the time; the reverse is true alos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I try as hard as I can to say something in context.  This only works if I understood a bit of what he was talking about, of course, or it's obvious from our surroundings; but if it's not the first thing he's said to me, I probably have something to go with.  Here's an example from yesterday walking home from daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(conversing as we walk by a sidewalk under construction)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daddy, why sidewalk ..... ..... ..... ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;J, are you asking why we're not walking on the sidewalk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daddy, why sidewalk ..... ..... shun?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, you're asking why the sidewalk is under construction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(nodding)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, they wanted to make it a new sidewalk, because the old one was, well, old, and it wasn't bumpy like the new ones, so it isn't as safe for people with wheelchairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Asahhasfjlk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sidewalk is bumpy so you don't fall when it gets slippery, particularly if you have a wheelchair and have to go up it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(points) New sidewalk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yep, this is new sidewalk, and that's what it will look like later when it's done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in the first question, I asked him if he was asking .  That not only told him I was paying attention (very important!) but gave me some clues when the second garbled message came through - because he emphasized certain sounds, namely the ones I got wrong; here, &amp;quot;construction&amp;quot; (which he of course can't say properly, but &amp;quot;shun&amp;quot; comes through clear enough when he tries).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the second time we had a bit of confusion, I'm not sure if I guessed right, or if I just redirected him from something else - and that's life with a toddler, really; but either way making a guess like that can be less frustrating to the child than saying 'What was that?'.  It directs the attention away from &amp;quot;you didn't speak clearly enough&amp;quot; to &amp;quot;I'm talking to you, even if Daddy is a bit silly sometimes and doesn't get it right&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't always work perfectly, of course, when he's expressing a desire for something - if I guess wrong a few times it gets frustrating - but that's unavoidable, and &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; of the time I guess right within a few guesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T17:27:26.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20819" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20820" CreationDate="2015-06-19T18:41:31.723" Score="3" ViewCount="556" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10-year old son is interested in hip-hop dances. When I asked him about whether he'd like to write rap songs, he said it would interest him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to take a piece of rap lyrics and then show him, how it's structured and how the rhymes are connected to the beats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only problem I have is finding child-friendly rap. My favorite is Eminem, but I'm not aware of any of his songs suitable for a child this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any songs, which&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have the typical rap structure and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;are suitable for a 10-year old child?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: I intend to create something like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4QOGxpt3a8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this video&lt;/a&gt;, but without the F, M*F and the B words. I'm not looking for such videos, I'm looking for &quot;clean&quot; rap songs, for which I could do such video myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 1:&lt;/strong&gt; Mase seems to be clean, at least in &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adg6iEz3-Ow&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this video&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 2:&lt;/strong&gt; As well as Scroobius Pip's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEitrZU-nCw&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Get Better&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user14348" LastEditorDisplayName="user14348" LastEditDate="2015-06-20T14:38:08.453" LastActivityDate="2015-06-20T14:38:08.453" Title="What are examples of child-friendly rap?" Tags="|music|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-06-19T22:15:44.747" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20819" CreationDate="2015-06-19T21:29:56.020" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DJ_Jazzy_Jeff_%26_The_Fresh_Prince&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince!&lt;/a&gt; You may well know him better as Will Smith or the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get all the songs on iTunes or just open up youtube. It's the first rap I listened to when I was a kid and it's still fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T21:29:56.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20821" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-19T21:49:13.627" Score="-1" ViewCount="1734" Body="&lt;p&gt;At school a kid brought a e-cigarette to school and my friends pressured me to try it (that is where I should have walked away). I never actually inhaled I just put it to my mouth and said I did and then left. Later that day the principal found out and I got sent to the office and she said I could get suspended and they are going to tell my parents on Monday. I really messed up bad and I need help what should I do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16847" LastActivityDate="2018-02-21T19:37:57.970" Title="I just had a e-cigarette at school and I got caught. I'm only 14 what should I do" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ClosedDate="2018-02-23T10:15:43.427" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20812" CreationDate="2015-06-19T22:44:41.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to make those experiences more pleasant for him.  He has probably had a bad experience (shots will do that to a kid).  You can try taking him to those places and do nothing but happy things.  He will start to associate those places better than he did before.  It also depends on the doctor.  If you have a pediatrician that is great with kids then everybody wins.  Sometimes you get doctors who aren't &quot;fun&quot; for the kids.  Its a bummer but it works that way sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16762" LastActivityDate="2015-06-19T22:44:41.087" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20821" CreationDate="2015-06-20T02:34:31.980" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Learn from the experience.&lt;/strong&gt; Yes, that &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; when you should have walked away, and it's probably safe to say you'll be a lot more confident in yourself the next time a situation like this comes up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Explain the situation to your parents today&lt;/strong&gt; instead of waiting for the school to act (or instead of hoping they don't act). If my child was potentially getting suspended, I would want to hear about it as soon as possible. Keep as calm as possible. Is it going to be easy? I doubt it – but it's going to be harder if somebody else breaks the news and &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; you have the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be honest about it&lt;/strong&gt;, with both yourself and your parents. That includes both the negatives (you caved to peer pressure, broke the rules, the school is angry) and the positives (you didn't inhale, you aren't interested in e-cigarettes, it wasn't yours, you won't do this again, you've learned from the experience [of course, whichever of those is really true]). If you want their support in talking to the principal to explore an alternative punishment than suspension, you should aim to convince them that you're aware of the mistake and that you won't be repeating it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, you should try to be mature and calm throughout. Getting defensive, getting angry, trying to hide what happened... none of those are going to help you and your parents get through a tough conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-06-20T02:34:31.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20727" CreationDate="2015-06-20T06:55:16.393" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a child who is mildly Asperger's, and our story mirrors yours in many ways.  He was six before he was dry through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried many things over a few years, but victory came with a concerted effort, following a plan from a physiotherapist who specialises in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The plan is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use a bed wetting alarm (ours is similar to &lt;a href=&quot;http://bedwettingstore.com/malem-bedwetting-alarm.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;).  The child tests it every night (lick finger, touch sensor, make alarm go off, cancel alarm with button on the speaker part).  The child absolutely must be the one who cancels the alarm when it goes off in the night.  The parent must rouse the child, but don't go as far as physically lifting the child up.  The child has to be awake enough to cancel the alarm and then take themselves to the toilet.  The rationale is that you're building an association between the urination sensation and them waking up.  The idea is that they will soon beat the alarm and wake up before weeing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use a mild laxative.  There is the concept that most &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/children/news/20120130/study-constipation-may-cause-bedwetting&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bed wetting is caused by mild constipation&lt;/a&gt;, and the pressure of the constipation blocks or overrides the sensation from the bladder.  Our boy was fine for a long time during the day, but wet during the night.  So maybe the sensation for him was weak enough to not rouse him at night, but strong enough to be noticed during the day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have no drinks in the last hour or so before bed.  Compensate by having bigger drinks before that.  The rationale is that having the bladder less full gives them a better chance of success&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have big drinks to start the day.  This keeps the hydration up, but also stretches the bladder.  Ours ended up having three decent sized cups.  If water is too unpalatable, have one water, one milk and one juice.  We had to offer a chocolate treat if he got through all three drinks soon after breakfast.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have a reward chart.  Seven days dry gets a treat of some kind.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;expect progress and some regression, especially during winter as perhaps they sleep more deeply&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;stick with it for a few months.  Our boy came to loathe the alarm (being on the spectrum the loud noise was particularly disliked).  But you have to follow through.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worked for us.  The physiotherapist is revered in the family with demi-god status.  We are still giving him the laxative, though I'm not sure it's necessary.  We stopped the alarm some time ago.  We haven't had any regression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16851" LastActivityDate="2015-06-20T06:55:16.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20809" CreationDate="2015-06-20T12:44:49.620" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been in this exact same position.  Our two older boys are 4 and 3 and they share a room.  I try to make it fun for them but still have some reverence about it.  Kids require routine.  At 7pm every night we start getting ready for bed.  Sometimes I have to invent new and exiting ways to just accomplish that.  But they get their jammies on, take their gummy vitamin, and brush their teeth.  They can then sit on their bed for a little bit for quiet time.  Most of the time they will fall asleep but sometimes they just have too much energy.  There will be nights like that where they don't get to sleep until late and they are jumping on the bed and making noise keeping the 1 year old awake.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest for a start to develop a routine and stick to it as much as possible.  Try to avoid being silly which just riles up kids.  Nothing will work every time.  There will still be nights where no one gets sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16762" LastActivityDate="2015-06-20T12:44:49.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20827" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-20T16:24:37.910" Score="2" ViewCount="118" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-week-old daughter suffers from extreme gas pain that leaves her spending very few waking hours in a content, attentive state. Our lives for the past month have literally been about near-constant soothing over 90% of the time she's awake. Through generous application of the 5 S techniques from Dr. Karp's &quot;Happiest Baby on the Block&quot; we are able to keep her below the 3-hours-a-day 3-times-a-week qualification to officially declare her as colicky, but if we weren't constantly soothing her, I'm sure that she'd qualify.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to do everything I can to give her every advantage. One component of that should be reading to her regularly. However, with constant pain and the related crying/soothing there seems to be no opportunities left to read to her. The amount of time she spends in a quiet, attentive state each day measures in a handful of minutes. We're spending those moments talking to her, getting face-to-face time, and occasionally introducing high-contrast visual stimuli.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When should we become concerned about not having enough time spent reading? Is there any benefit to reading to her while she is sleeping? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not so much worried about the time spent right now, but if this continues for 3, 6, or 9 months (as we've heard could be the case), then I'm concerned that the only word she'll know is &quot;Shhhhhhh&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T12:20:23.680" Title="Reading to a colicky infant?" Tags="|reading|colic|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20828" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20838" CreationDate="2015-06-21T12:51:09.173" Score="2" ViewCount="145" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read contradicting claims about whether you &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/nutrition-for-kids/art-20049335&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;can give skim milk&lt;/a&gt; for toddlers over 2, or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/milk-dairy-foods.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;just low-fat&lt;/a&gt;.&#xA;In fact, my daughter is two and a half and only 12 kg, so our goal would be to gain weight, and she gets a better appetite after skim milk.&#xA;Should we give low-fat or skim milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16858" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T13:29:20.213" Title="What is the best milk fat content for a toddler aged 2?" Tags="|toddler|nutrition|milk|weight|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20828" CreationDate="2015-06-21T15:43:15.487" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This could probably be a question from your pediatrician but I could say that we gave our kids whole milk until they were about 2 then switched them to 2%.  Our boys have no problem gaining weight though.  In fact they are a little on the chubby side.  If weight gain is your goal then I would stay with whole milk for a little longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16762" LastActivityDate="2015-06-21T15:43:15.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20783" CreationDate="2015-06-21T23:54:57.983" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Clearly it's all a matter of degree. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An absent father is not good for the child. And there are different kinds of &quot;absent&quot; fathers: Fathers who just disappear, fathers who disappear but support the mother / child financially, fathers who come back regularly or irregularly. Fathers who die. Fathers who are in jail (guilty or innocently), or away for their job for long times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A father dependent on alcohol isn't good for the child, but there are various degrees how strong the dependency is, and how it affects everyday life. One person may be a total wreck all week, another may disappear once a month for a weekend and may never be visibly drunk at home. And of course a person can drink too much without being alcohol dependent (yet). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An abusive father (and abusive and alcohol dependent may be statistically correlated, but any individual may be one but not the other) isn't good for the child, but again there is a huge range from mostly harmless to absolutely harmful behaviour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you need to weigh up, depending on an individual case, what causes more and what causes less damage. Every individual case will be different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In practice, no law can force a father to stay with the child. And in cases where the law forces the father to leave the child, it is obviously assumed that the father being present is so harmful that an absent father cannot possibly be worse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The interesting case would be a father asking himself whether it is better for the children if he leaves. You think your father should have asked himself that question. On the other hand, being an adult now, you could ask yourself whether and how much damage would have been caused to the father by leaving. Did having a wife and children keep him from going completely under? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastActivityDate="2015-06-21T23:54:57.983" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20831" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20834" CreationDate="2015-06-22T01:15:08.877" Score="2" ViewCount="1800" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have heard that it is an absolute must that you stop swaddling your baby once they are able to roll over, due to the potential that they could roll over onto their stomach and then be unable to roll back to their back due to the swaddle holding their arms down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, this seems suspect; if they can roll over while swaddled, why would it be more difficult to roll back? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it actually dangerous to swaddle a baby who is capable of rolling over?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-06-22T08:10:04.990" LastActivityDate="2023-06-26T11:50:05.840" Title="Is it dangerous to swaddle a baby that can roll over?" Tags="|infant|development|safety|swaddling|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2015-06-22T02:29:52.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 17 years old, and it was about 4 years ago when I developed this problem.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I laugh for just about everything. I laugh when I'm happy, when I think of something funny, when I'm nervous, embarrassed, and when I'm getting yelled at! I hate that I laugh when my parents are yelling at me, I really do!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that it only further pisses my parents off (my brother understands my problem, though, after spending hours of research to make sure I was mentally sound). I don't know exactly why of all things I have to laugh, especially since I never did this before I hit puberty. But there are several contributing factors as to why I laugh when getting yelled at.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One reason I laugh when I'm yelled at is because people look hilarious when they're angry. If you ever see someone angry (let's say you're not involved in the argument whatsoever and no one's killing anybody), notice how they get all red, blotchy, veiny, and see how their eyes bug out and their voices squeak. It's like watching a real-life squeeze doll.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The primary reason for my laughter, though, is much less shallow. I'm actually a really sensitive kid, and after a few minutes of laughing, I usually break down into tears for hours. I guess that laughter is a way for me to deny the more serious issue.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By this, I mean that I try focusing on how ugly the person looks, or how ridiculous the person is being (their logic and out of proportion reactions), rather than acknowledging the names they are calling me and what they are saying is &quot;wrong&quot; with me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It really does hurt, once the words sink in, and since I absolutely HATE crying in front of people (regardless if they're my family or not), I laugh involuntarily.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that this all happens in a matter of seconds. It's not as if I'm consciously trying to laugh at the person hollering at me, that's just the first thing I do now. I think of the person in a funny way partially to &quot;keep cool&quot;, meaning to stop myself from completely losing control of my mouth and my emotions, but the laughing part I have no control of. As much as the laughing infuriates the person yelling, know that it seriously irritates people like me, too. And the more we laugh, the more nervous we get because we realize how much hell is breaking loose, and so we laugh even more.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help it. To me I can hear her, but I don't understand how someone can find humor in seeing you angry/upset with them.&#xA;  Has anyone else experienced this? And if so, how did you deal with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if this is her exact reason, but from experience, I laugh to delay the terrible feelings of guilt, some form of temporary depression, and anger that always come crashing down when people yell at me. Of course, this &quot;technique&quot; fails every single time and &quot;tends&quot; to make things a hell of a lot worse, but unfortunately that's something I'll have to learn how to end.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a little help, I'll tell you one way of how to prevent your daughter from laughing when you're trying to have a serious conversation with her. Instead of approaching her while you're losing your shit (no offense), start off easy. It's harder for people like me to not laugh when someone goes from zero to 100 (emotionally speaking), than when a person expresses disappointment in me without yelling.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to staying calm, because if you come across angry right away she'll laugh, but then later get extremely worked up herself... and that'll never end well. This way your daughter won't have that super weird reflex to anger, but she'll feel bad or angry herself. Let her vent and get upset in her own room (do NOT try stomping in. That is our biggest pet peeves), because that's all that us teenagers need to do. Eventually she'll come around and see that you're right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16861" LastEditorUserId="16863" LastEditDate="2015-06-22T11:52:37.763" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T11:52:37.763" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20833" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-22T03:21:34.050" Score="2" ViewCount="293" Body="&lt;p&gt;Earlier today, I got into an argument with someone about spanking children and whether or not it caused them to become more violent later in life in addition to other issues.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Eventually, this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/12/131211103958.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt; surfaced and we debated its merits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A new book by Murray Straus, founder and co-director of the Family Research Lab and professor emeritus of sociology at the University of New Hampshire, brings together more than four decades of research that makes the definitive case against spanking, including how it slows cognitive development and increases antisocial and criminal behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a valid study?  If not, what are some more reliable studies?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please do not link this to any of the previous questions.  I would like answers about this study in particular.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16862" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-06-22T05:21:32.333" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T12:45:51.677" Title="Validity on a study about spanking children" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20831" CreationDate="2015-06-22T07:24:41.733" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most babies start to roll &quot;almost by accident&quot;, a typical example would be when they - placed on their tummy - lift their head too far up and sideways and &quot;topple over&quot;, or, laid on their back, lift head and feet and topple sideways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if they manage rolling in one direction, it takes a few days to weeks until they can turn back at will. Leading to the following scenario: &lt;em&gt;Baby rolls over, can't get back, protests against position, parent bends down and turns baby, repeat after 30 seconds.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A swaddled baby will be even more hampered to change its position -  imagine yourself landing face-down with your arms wrapped in a blanket. This can increase the risk of suffocation or, at least, be very frustrating. Depending on the type  or method of swaddle, the child can even get tangled in the loosening fabric or wrap part of it around the neck or head. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all these are not enough to stop swaddling a mobile baby, remember that one of the main intentions of swaddling is to calm very small infants by mimicking the restricted room they had before they were born. Babies that start to roll or move their arms and legs need the freedom to do so. (Note: IMHO and experience, this does not apply to carrying a baby in a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.didymos.de/en/DIDYMagazine/Baby-Carriers/Trageweisen/&quot;&gt;sling&lt;/a&gt; or similar, especially as for older babies the arms stay unwrapped.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T07:24:41.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20835" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-22T09:25:47.763" Score="5" ViewCount="961" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 weeks old and is sleeping through the night. I bottle feed. I give him 4oz. During the day he will sleep after his bottle only 4 to 5 hrs, but at night he will sleep all night. For example last time I gave him a bottle at 8pm and now its 5am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it ok to let him sleep all night like he does or should I wake up up for every feeding? Should I give him more then 4oz because after his bottle at 5am he is acting like he is still hungry?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is my first child I could use some help...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16867" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-22T11:50:54.673" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T00:16:46.500" Title="Should a newborn be allowed to sleep all night, or be woken up to eat more?" Tags="|infant|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20836" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-22T12:21:36.920" Score="9" ViewCount="852" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 11 and I have been single with him since he was 1 aside a few short-term relationships. His nature is that he wants to please, however he is also a strong character that can ben quite controlling (a born leader). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I met my partner back at the end of October 14. He is quiet around my son, doesn't have children of his own, but has similar opinions to myself on how things should be handled, which is good. He visits at weekends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, my problem; My son does not want him there!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His behaviour has gone from the odd huffy comment, 'Is he coming this weekend, what time is he going, can we go on our own Mum' to much ruder, answering back, refusing his dinner, storming off... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thankfully, my partner is calm and supportive, but it does worry me it will push him away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've spoken to my son numerous times about how much I love him, and that having a partner that makes me happy doesn't change how much I love him. I've made a point of doing things with him alone, although he is less interested in spending time with me now, which I'm sure is age related.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've not had this problem before, but my X had two kids which might have helped and before then my son was probably to young to express himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think my son might be jealous; he see's how happy I am with my partner, we laugh, play and cuddle. I've not been like that with any X. We were careful to hide affection for the first three months and didn't share my bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To top it, my son has told my Mum that he doesn't like him about, and she has somewhat fuelled his fire rather than supporting me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a really horrid situation to be in. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this or have any advise on how to handle it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cheers in advance&#xA;:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16868" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-10-12T00:20:56.337" LastActivityDate="2016-10-04T19:57:49.330" Title="Single parent having behaviour issues with son (11) not wanting my partner around" Tags="|behavior|relationships|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20833" CreationDate="2015-06-22T12:45:51.677" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt; read the original paper and other literature and come to your own conclusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, you have to remember that correlation does not mean causality. It can be very difficult to tease out confounding factors in a properly controlled study, let alone social sciences papers where controls aren't really feasible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that you shouldn't trust the article you linked to, go back to the original source which I think &lt;a href=&quot;http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP125-Israel-2013.pdf&quot;&gt;is this presentation&lt;/a&gt;. Two things really struck me reading through it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First was how inconsistent some of the data is. For example, slide 5 says 33% of Swedish children are spanked daily... but slide 8 says the number of &quot;frequently spanked&quot; children in Sweden is 17%. I'm not necessarily surprised (I take a rather dim view of the rigour of published research in general to begin with), but this does speak to the challenges this kind of research faces.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Second was an absence of an attempt to find or acknowledge confounding factors. For example, whether or not factors associated with criminality like socio-economic status are also correlated with levels of spanking. This kind of analysis may be somewhere, but I haven't a hot clue where to find it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, I can sit down and pick apart pretty much any paper out there, but my analysis will say as much about my world-view as anything else. Go to the guy's webpage (there is a link in the original article you cited) and read his papers with a critical eye. Then search the literature for papers on the benefits of spanking, and the negatives of alternatives to spanking, and come to your own conclusions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16406" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T12:45:51.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20828" CreationDate="2015-06-22T13:29:20.213" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dr David Ludwig and Dr Walter Willet published &lt;a href=&quot;http://archpedi.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1704826&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a 2013 opinion column in &lt;em&gt;JAMA Pediatrics&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; that questioned the value of recommending low-fat or skim milk for children. While much of the article is behind a paywall, I did find  a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.clinicaleducation.org/resources/abstracts/low-fat-milk-too-much-too-often-no-evidence-of-benefit/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;discussion of the opinion column&lt;/a&gt; (and it was also &lt;a href=&quot;http://healthland.time.com/2013/07/03/skim-milk-is-healthier-than-whole-milk-right-maybe-not/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;discussed on &lt;em&gt;Time&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Ludwig and Willett argued in their paper that children who don’t feel&#xA;  satiated from a glass of skim milk—which contains 83 calories and no&#xA;  fat—may be inclined to eat an extra cookie or two as compared to when&#xA;  they drink whole milk, with its 8 grams of fat and 150 calories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;“We just don’t see any benefit for focusing on reducing fat,” Ludwig&#xA;    said. “We think it’s a holdover from a paradigm that evolved in the&#xA;    late 20th century based on the relatively simplistic idea that fat has&#xA;    the most calories per gram and that eliminating fat will reduce weight&#xA;    gain.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The explanation for why &lt;a href=&quot;http://adc.bmj.com/content/early/2013/02/13/archdischild-2012-302941.short?g=w_adc_ahead_tab&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;skim milk is correlated to higher BMI&lt;/a&gt; appears to be due to the fat content. The saturated fat found in whole milk contributes to a feeling of fullness; kids who drink skim milk don't get satiated as quickly, and get hungry again more quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're coming at it from a slightly different perspective from many parents: rather than thinking about cutting down on milk fat to reduce obesity (which evidence suggests doesn't work), you seem to be thinking about using instead encouraging more calorie intake (which, from both your experience and what research seems to indicate, might work). However, from a glance at developmental charts, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/html_charts/wtage.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;your daughter is about 25th percentile&lt;/a&gt;. That's below average, but not (as far as I can tell) underweight or failing to thrive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're finding that she eats less food with whole or 2% milk because she feels full more quickly, you could also consider switching things up: serve milk partway through the meal, or as a snack between mealtimes. This is more an area of personal preference than science, though. There are &lt;a href=&quot;http://greatist.com/health/cows-milk-benefits-comparison&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fat-soluble vitamins naturally found in milk fat&lt;/a&gt; which need to be added back in when the fat is removed, and I personally tend towards a less-processed choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T13:29:20.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20744" CreationDate="2015-06-22T15:45:15.497" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll offer a slight spin on the answers that were given:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No, it's not acceptable&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Should&lt;/em&gt; it be acceptable? Of course. We should be able to ask people to respect the other people in their immediate vicinity. And we should be able to approach parents that are not aware of their child's own behavior and how it's affecting that particular social contract.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, odds are that you will not receive the response you were hoping for in most cases. People aren't, in general, fans of people telling them how to parent. And those parents that aren't aware what their children are doing in public tend to be the type of parent that &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; doesn't like people telling them how to parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, by all means, you have the right and many would argue, the obligation, to say something, but it probably won't result in an outcome that you were hoping for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I'd suggest some headphones when dealing with public transit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T15:45:15.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1983" CreationDate="2015-06-22T16:55:51.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the type of swing you have, there should be no problems with your child sleeping in it as long as you follow the safety precautions of strapping them in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had multiple conversations with our pediatrician about where our daughter can safely sleep. From one-week-old through her current one-month-old, she has successfully slept in her crib twice. Every other time we have tried has resulted in her waking up in a fit of colicky rage. Thus we have had to accept other options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time, she sleeps in our arms, as this is the only consistent easy for us to get her to stay asleep. The second-most common option is sleeping in her swing, which is a variation on the same design you have here (a Fischer Price model with a fully reclining option). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician specifically stated that this option was OK as long as she was strapped in. Further, Dr. Karp's &quot;Happiest Baby on the Block&quot; specifically states that sleeping in a swing is OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T16:55:51.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20843" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-22T18:11:00.397" Score="3" ViewCount="2568" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 6 weeks old and she only poos every 3 days. Is this normal? The doctor says he is not concerned. I went to the pharmacy and she told me to try a bit of water between feedings, but it still doesn't happen every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16869" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-26T12:15:18.253" LastActivityDate="2018-08-26T12:15:18.253" Title="How often should a 6-week-old, bottle-fed baby have a bowel movement?" Tags="|newborn|health|elimination|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20844" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20836" CreationDate="2015-06-22T18:11:50.083" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't been in this situation myself, however this doesn't seem at all odd to me.  Your son has had you all to himself for his whole life. Sharing you is a big change, and one that may not seem like it has much personal upside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will probably take a lot of time for him to adjust, and your partner will definitely need to put the work in to establish his own relationship with your son.  Maybe there are some fun things the three of you can do together, or even some male-oriented activities just the two of them can do together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately you and your partner will just need to be patient with your son.  If this is going to be a long-term relationship, he (your partner) will be moving into a father-like role in your family.  If he's not comfortable with the challenges that represents, it's probably best to find that out sooner rather than later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2015-06-22T19:55:05.100" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T19:55:05.100" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20843" CreationDate="2015-06-22T19:13:21.180" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The frequency of bowel movements covers a wide range - and is about as widely discussed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sources (in German, so no use posting a link here) say everything from multiple times a day to once a week is normal. With three days, you should be fine, as confirmed by your pediatrician. Unless your baby appears to be unwell or experience pain when passing stool I wouldn't worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The recommendation of your pharmacist may in fact be dangerous - there is a real danger of water intoxication (see &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stlouischildrens.org/articles/wellness/water-intoxication-in-infants&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hopkinschildrens.org/newsdetail.aspx?id=4844&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;) if you give too much (more than 2-3 oz) water in one go or too much in total. Rule of thumb: Water to drink goes together with the introduction of solids, typically with the second or third regular meal per day. And please never prepare the baby bottle with more water than the instructions call for, there are plenty of articles &lt;a href=&quot;http://tbo.com/news/news/2008/dec/02/na-diluted-formula-nearly-kills-baby-ar-121176/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;like this one&lt;/a&gt; detailing how babies got malnurished and had seizures due to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-06-22T19:22:40.970" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T19:22:40.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20835" CreationDate="2015-06-22T21:30:36.530" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on the baby.  Most seasoned parents would likely let the baby sleep and not disturb the baby.  The reasoning being, 'If the baby were truly hungry, he would wake up.'  Even adults wake up from hunger.  Also, sleep is extremely precious to both parent and child.  So by breaking the baby's sleep, you're screwing up a 'good thing' for both parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you really have to gauge based on your baby's growth and development.  If you feel your baby is growing and thriving, then don't wake him up.  But if you feel that baby could use the extra calories, either because of slowed growth, or low birth weight, or various other reasons, then you should definitely wake the baby up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Formula fed babies tend to stay full for longer because its considered to be 'heavier' than breastmilk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last point would be to do what feels right to you.  If you're waking up to change diapers anyway, or are unable to get adequate rest because you are worried about the baby not having eaten in several hours, then feed him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If none of the above concerns are relevant, then rejoice in having a good sleeper and feeder on your hands and sleep the night away!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16755" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T21:30:36.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20835" CreationDate="2015-06-22T21:39:29.083" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask your doctor.  When babies are very young, they might &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; wake up when they need to to feed, and fasting through the night could be dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T21:39:29.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20827" CreationDate="2015-06-22T21:40:10.407" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading should be an enjoyable experience.  The child revels in the lilt and nuances of words being said, particularly because the child is typically cuddled up with mom/dad and looking at pictures.  Its multi-sensory, while also developing a love of books and reading.  However, if its not enjoyable and soothing (to both baby and parent), don't beat yourself up.  4 weeks is quite young and the only thing you need to be focusing on is loving and providing for your child.  Nothing else matters, nor will your child 'fall behind' for not having been read to at an ultra-early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incidentally, there is this homeopathic 'medicine' called Gripe Water, that does wonders for gas/colic.  My daughter was also colicky, and giving her Gripe Water helped, as did spending considerable amounts of time burping her, even when it seemed like she was done burping.  Another thing to consider is baby's diet.  If breast-fed, then you can track mom's eating habits to see if it is something specific that flares up the gas more.  Same goes for formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16755" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T21:40:10.407" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20849" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-22T22:26:47.237" Score="1" ViewCount="388" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been married for about 8 months. We both have two children, each. I moved into her house with her kids. I have my kids twice a week and every other weekend. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told my wife I wanted to spend time with her during the week after her kids went to bed. She refuses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, we've gotten into a very heated argument. She won't listen to my reasoning and she claims I'm not listening to her. I disagree and think I am listening. Am I being unreasonable? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She thinks I'm trying to take time away from her kids. I have kept on telling her that it's only after her kids go to bed. I don't know what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm fed up with lacking time together with her both during the week and during the weekends we have our kids. The only time we spend together without our kids directly involved (not asleep) is every other weekend when our kids are with each other's ex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do? Am I wrong? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16871" LastEditorUserId="16878" LastEditDate="2015-06-23T11:21:27.423" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T11:30:07.410" Title="I want more time with my wife in our blended family, but she says no." Tags="|communication|step-parents|fighting|time-management|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-06-23T11:31:12.480" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20850" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20854" CreationDate="2015-06-22T23:12:48.127" Score="8" ViewCount="29116" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is 12 weeks along with our first child and we are very excited to be parents next year.  However, since about week 6, she has had quite a few bouts with nausea.  We were quite aware that this is normal in pregnancy and informed that it most often slackens in intensity during the second trimester (here's to hoping that's the case), but yesterday was probably the worst day yet.  She ate early in the morning and then was unable to hold down liquids or food for the remainder of the day.  This culminated in an evening of about 5-6 trips to the bathroom to vomit which made a rough total of about 9 or so episodes of vomiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long story short, I was quite concerned and tried repeatedly to convince her that it was time to go into the hospital (Sunday night so urgent cares and/or doctor's offices were closed) so that she could get hydrated and possibly some nourishment.  My question is was I over-reacting?  If not, what are some ways that I could convince her that the hospital is the best bet?  (The situation was complicated by the fact that she was very tired, both from the dehydration and a poor night of sleep, so going into the hospital sounded like a terrible idea to her).  If it helps with severity of her symptoms she did mention this morning that she probably should have gone in last night.  I just want my wife and my growing child to be safe and healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16872" LastActivityDate="2018-03-04T12:38:55.637" Title="When should I take my pregnant wife to the hospital for nausea?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20850" CreationDate="2015-06-22T23:53:21.347" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dehydration is a condition which is potentially very serious, especially for pregnant women (&lt;a href=&quot;http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-complications/dehydration-pregnancy/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-complications/dehydration-pregnancy/&lt;/a&gt;).  I'm assuming she's tried a number of remedies for nausea (dry crackers is the one I've heard most often) and nothing is working.  In case it helps any, I've heard from most of my friends that severe nausea early in a pregnancy often means the later pregnancy will be easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many years ago I was pretty sick (not pregnant, just vomiting, etc).  The vomiting started at about noon, and by eight o-clock my husband was concerned enough to call an ambulance (over my &lt;em&gt;strenuous&lt;/em&gt; protests).  The ambulance guy looked at my tongue (yes, apparently they can tell how dehydrated you are just from that) and into the ambulance I went.  They poured two bags of water into each arm and told me that it was a good thing my hubby called them because I was maybe a couple hours away from kidney shutdown.  That was after only eight hours (not normal, I grant you, I dehydrate easily).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife was probably embarrassed at the thought of going to the hospital for something that normally people are just expected to &quot;be tough&quot; about.  I can totally empathize.  But when your life isn't just yours any more, you need to think of your family and get past the embarrassment.  Is it always going to be a totally warranted life-or-death situation when you run off to the hospital in the middle of the night because your husband is worried to death about you...no.  Not always.  But if nothing else works just tell her that you need to take her to the hospital for your own sake, because you need to know that she is okay, and for the sake of your child, who is unable to tell his/her parents what (s)he is experiencing.  And even though dehydration is not as dangerous for the baby early in a pregnancy, it is still one of the warning signs that may mean she needs to go to the hospital (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/pregnancy-first-trimester-warning-signs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/pregnancy-first-trimester-warning-signs&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things to pay attention to when you are trying to decide whether she needs to see a doctor: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/507675-how-to-know-if-you-are-dehydrated-when-pregnant/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.livestrong.com/article/507675-how-to-know-if-you-are-dehydrated-when-pregnant/&lt;/a&gt;.&#xA;I'd recommend going to a clinic and seeing what they have to say about her level of dehydration when she is feeling bad.  At the very least it may give you peace of mind if they tell you she's okay.  And if they immediately start up the IV, then you both know to take her condition seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-06-22T23:53:21.347" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20655" CreationDate="2015-06-23T00:20:53.623" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a very sensitive child myself. I used to cry for little things when I was  about the same age as your son. My sister who was 6 years older than me used to get very annoyed when I cried for smaller things and she used to annoy me even more hoping to make me tougher. But that neither worked for me nor her. I also used to cry when I felt that my younger sister was getting more attention than me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the reason for me being sensitive was because I had difficulty in expressing myself. I was also a very shy child. Is your son very shy or has difficulty in expressing himself? Then it might be the reason for him being sensitive.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my parents saw that I was about to get burst into tears they used to help me calm down. They felt that whenever I had difficulty in expressing myself I cried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-03T13:22:25.273" LastActivityDate="2019-04-03T13:22:25.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20853" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-23T00:40:10.453" Score="2" ViewCount="244" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hello parents of the stack,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My lovely 11-month old daughter, since learning to crawl, detests being sat down in her high chair to eat, or on the toilet to eliminate. She does this stiffening move to become flat like a board so that you can't bend her to sit. She just wails to boot which makes the struggle to get her seated that much more enjoyable.&#xA;We've employed a couple tricks that help to a moderate extent. We've given her toys in her hands(little cups) while trying to set her down. This distracted her enough to often plant her but in the chair. However, she's got to the point where she knows that schtick. Anyone have any other hacks for dealing with the stiffening, refusing to sit infant? Thanks Parents!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16234" LastEditorUserId="16234" LastEditDate="2015-06-23T13:20:38.207" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:56:02.180" Title="Infant cries and stiffens a like board when sat down" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20850" CreationDate="2015-06-23T01:08:02.393" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, you're not over-reacting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The health care system exists for everyone. People go to the Emergency Room for far less serious problems than your wife has, and that's fine (I work in an Emergency Room.) Please know that doctors are sympathetic to this situation. I can think of almost nothing worse than to be nauseated 24/7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/morning-sickness-nausea.aspx#close&quot;&gt;Normal nausea of pregnancy&lt;/a&gt; usually improves with rest and bland carbohydrates (women are advised to keep crackers by the bedside and eat one or two if they wake at night, and as soon as they wake up in the morning - before getting out of bed.) Keep nibbling at carbs throughout the day, and take frequent sips of fluids (flat ginger ale is a natural - though very mild - anti-emetic.) Fats often aren't well tolerated. Cold or cool foods are usually tolerated better than hot, and bland is better than spicy. Here's to hoping this is what she has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, your wife may have something called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/severe-vomiting-in-pregnancy-hyperemesis-gravidarum.aspx&quot;&gt;hyperemesis gravidarum&lt;/a&gt;. The risk is dehydration and ketosis (because her body is relying on fat breakdown for energy.) The treatment is IV fluids, a short hospitalization, and when necessary, anti-emetic medications. While most nausea of pregnancy goes away (usually between 16-20 weeks), HG does not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please encourage your wife to seek treatment if her nausea causes her that much distress. It's better for her and her baby to keep hydrated and to eat food every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/morning-sickness-nausea.aspx#close&quot;&gt;Nausea and morning sickness&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/severe-vomiting-in-pregnancy-hyperemesis-gravidarum.aspx&quot;&gt;Severe vomiting in pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T01:08:02.393" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20855" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-23T02:43:07.667" Score="17" ViewCount="9291" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know two languages: My 'mother tongue' and English. I used to speak my mother tongue until I moved to an English-speaking country at the age of 8.  Consequently, my mother tongue is at the level of a typical 8 year old i.e. I'm not very articulate, and I'm unable to express myself clearly and concisely in my mother tongue. When I'm speaking my mother tongue, I find that I use the grammar of my mother tongue, but English verbs and nouns. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I have been speaking my mother tongue at home with my parents, and English with my friends, so my baby (fetus) has been exposed to both languages in equal amounts.  Which language should I use to communicate with her once she is born? I'm comfortable with 'baby talk' in both languages, but what about when she is older? My mother tongue feels more 'natural', however, my vocabulary is limited, while my grammar is perfect. With English, my vocabulary is wider, but I still do tend to make grammatical mistakes occasionally.  Even if I use my mother tongue, it will be interspersed with many English words, because I'm simply not fluent enough. With English, I can clearly communicate without mixing languages - My vocabulary is at the level of a native speaker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, I will be homeschooling her, teaching her to read and write.  I do not know how to read or write in my mother tongue - I don't even know how to read or write the alphabet.  With English, I can obviously read and write.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you recommend? I want her to grow up speaking both languages fluently - a true bilingual - unlike me, I feel like I only know one and a half languages, not two languages, if that makes sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*The reason that I'm illiterate in my mother tongue is because I went to a 'foreign or English school' in my home country. I've been speaking, reading and writing English since I was 5 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16874" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-09T15:37:41.043" LastActivityDate="2020-05-09T12:07:10.703" Title="What language should I use to talk to my baby?" Tags="|newborn|language|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20855" CreationDate="2015-06-23T06:55:02.247" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child will learn the language from you, so if you are only somewhat capable in a language, your child will also become only somewhat capable. Since your are living in an English speaking country, I would suggest you teach her English as a mother tongue as she will not be able to become fluent in your own mother tongue without an outside tutor. And such a tutor would probably not be able to speak with her enough to teach it as a mother tongue. That would be better to do once the child is fluent in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For reference, where I live children learn 3 or more languages and teaching the second and third one begins at around 12 years of age. Children who actually use these languages will become fluent in them (I'm not a native English speaker, but it doesn't really show) but if you don't use them, they will fade away (I am no longer able to maintain a conversation in the two other languages I was taught)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you want a true bilingual, encourage your parents to speak with the child in their native tongue even after being tutored, so she will keep knowledge. (Assuming the child is interested)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, it goes without saying that you cannot teach something you don't know. So if you want to teach your child to read and write in your native tongue, you'll need to learn it yourself or ask someone else to teach them. I would suggest learning it yourself so you can practice it with the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T06:55:02.247" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20855" CreationDate="2015-06-23T08:58:04.067" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/20856/4054&quot;&gt;Erik's answer&lt;/a&gt; but I'd like to add a few things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you seem to speak your mother tongue with your parents, they are probably fluent in it? Have them speak your mother tongue with your child, only translating into English if the child doesn't seem to understand. I know a few people who's grown up learning a second language by speaking it with their grandparents. You could also chip in and help the child learn basic words by using the &quot;grandma/grandpa says it like this&quot;-method. &quot;It's a car, but grandma says [insert word here]&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally if any courses are offered in the language near you, the child could learn the reading/writing part there, or maybe the child could learn that from the grandparents as well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13697" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T11:34:19.113" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20858" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-23T09:16:30.683" Score="4" ViewCount="2079" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 20 months and only eats Gerber purée's. He gags with any thing slightly lumpy or chunky. He will literally push the spoon away after spitting the SMALL, crumb-piece out. He does not experiment with any foods, from cookies, puffs, Cheerios, chicken bits, nothing. Once I place it in his tray he'll just push the food item away from him barely wanting to touch it, like it's dirty or something. He's not even drinking from a sippy cup either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's so frustrating! Any suggestions that work! I don't know what to do, feel like the worst mom ever :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16876" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-23T11:27:49.813" LastActivityDate="2022-07-09T01:16:15.130" Title="How do I get my 20 month old son to eat solids?" Tags="|toddler|food|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20858" CreationDate="2015-06-23T10:03:55.860" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children often like to take control of their eating, and refusing is a form of control. It's easy for parents who who have been feeding their children for months to get into battles about eating, which is frustrating for both sides. It's not a reflection on you as a parent, you are trying very hard to make sure he has good nutrition like any good mother would. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children taking control of their eating is a normal and good thing, and the best thing to do is go with it. It's not necessarily that he does not want to eat solids, but maybe that he wants to decide what solids he wants to eat, when and how he wants to eat them. My suggestion is put the food out there, give him a spoon and say there you go kiddo! Let him be and don't hover, prod and cajole. this can be really difficult, (I've been there myself!) but you may have to force yourself to give him space. Give him freedom and some choices and tell him what a big boy he is for feeding himself and I think you'll see a change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try to make mealtimes fun. Put on some funky music, tell him about your day, etc. A happy, relaxed mood is better for eating than a pressure situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding what to give him put a more than one option in front of him, both with and without texture. Put a sippy cup and a bottle of water in front of him as well, and let him choose between. It's all about choices and variety right now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T10:03:55.860" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11829" CreationDate="2015-06-23T10:14:53.653" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can introduce citrus fruit to your baby after 6 months of age. But make sure that citrus fruits are prepared carefully - remove the peel, seeds and the membrane as they are difficult to chew and may cause a baby to gag or choke. Always cut the fruit into bite-size pieces so that baby can chew food well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After introducing any new food, wait at least for three days before you go with the next new food so that you can monitor for any reaction and can know what's causing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T10:14:53.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20849" CreationDate="2015-06-23T10:48:15.797" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;// , The first thing you can do is decide your boundaries, that is, what you do and do not see as a violation of trust. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right or wrong, she is her own person. &lt;strong&gt;So are you, Jon.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People who take responsibility for themselves decide what sort of relationship &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; want, and act carefully on their decisions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Decide whether you want it 4 days per week, or per month. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is my answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I feel obligated to add the following: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't sound like the sort of question that a parenting forum like this can handle precisely. The children are just part, here, of a larger situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two sentences stand out to me: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I moved into her house with her kids.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;The only time we can spend together w/o our kids is every other weekend when our kids are with each other's ex.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You both live there. Except for 4 days per week, you do not spend exclusive time together, even at night, even with sleeping kids. Something's missing from that story. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience of family comes mostly from the Midwest, and stolid, stable middle-class families integrated into a closely-knit extended family. I have made myself a scholar of the best relationships I can make available to my eyes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, though my experience is limited, parting when there is no pressing business not only seems odd, but very strange. Her side of the story is missing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have separate rooms? Is this some sort of huge house? Does &quot;spending time while the kids are asleep&quot; entail some sort of special activity aside from literally just being in each others presence? I mean, does she lock herself in a closet, or something? Do you have separate beds? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there is a lot more to this story than would allow anything more than a suggestion for further research. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16878" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T10:48:15.797" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20855" CreationDate="2015-06-23T11:29:42.627" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child can learn to speak two languages natively. If you are able to give the child a chance of learning both languages natively, that could be an advantage later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if your mother tongue would be useful for your child to learn, then I would say you speak your mother tongue to the child. Since you are living in an English speaking country, you can expect most other people to be speaking English to your child. Because of that you can expect your child to learn English as a native tongue even without you speaking it to your child yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you do so, you should also follow through on it. And that means you will need to get somebody else to be teaching your mother tongue to your child once it is time to learn to read and write.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether homeschooling is a good idea depends on factors which you did not include in your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell from your question how well integrated you are in the society where you are currently living. Foreigners never getting fully integrated in the society in which they live often happens, either by choice or by lack of ability to fully adapt to local language and customs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a risk that your child may end up as an outsider to society, you would do your child a favor by preventing that. You should allow your child to not just speak English natively but also to be a native. You do that best by letting your child interact with other natives, and going to a regular school is a large part of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another reason homeschooling might not be a good idea is, that by your own admission, you don't know your mother tongue well enough to take care of the teaching all on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not entirely clear from your question, whether your knowledge of English grammar is good enough to be teaching the language. Of course everybody makes grammatical mistakes occasionally, even natives. Since you mention it in your question, it is clear that you don't consider your own mastering of the English grammar to be as good as the natives. But at the same time you are clearly mastering it well enough to write a well formulated question in which I didn't spot any grammatical mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But of course taking an interest in your child's education is a good trait as a parent. To the extent you are able to teach your own child you should do so. Just remember that the child also need to interact with other children and other adults to learn to be a part of society. And remember that nobody knows everything. You should identify those subjects in which your own knowledge is at a level where it is better to let somebody else teach it to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12039" LastEditorUserId="12039" LastEditDate="2015-06-23T13:10:10.517" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T13:10:10.517" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20849" CreationDate="2015-06-23T11:30:07.410" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure what the issue is, whether it's that her kids are sleeping where you two sleep, or that she just goes to bed right away once they're asleep, or something else. Editing your question to make that clearer would help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I recommend you stop trying to get her to agree to something in general (especially after she has refused) and instead try for specifics. So if she's just going to bed right away when they do, and you would rather watch some recorded TV with her, or sit down and plan a vacation together, or whatever, you could ask her &quot;can you stay up for an hour and [specific thing] with me tonight? She may say no, she's too tired. She may give it a try. If she gives it a try and you both enjoy it, you can point out that it was enjoyable. Then the next night (or whenever) suggest it again. If she's too tired, then the next day in plenty of time before the kids go to bed, you can ask what you can do to help her be able to stay up later and do things together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may require some big changes for you. Is she getting up at 5 and doing things before the kids wake up? If you got up early too would those chores go faster? Is she cooking, cleaning, and generally exhausting herself in the early evening? Can some of that be left to the weekend, or can you do some of it? You need to understand what the issues are and how you can help, instead of being another chore on a huge to-do list &quot;spend time with whiny husband.&quot; I know that would be a sad thought, but sometimes when one spouse is worn out and the other one is &quot;why don't we relax together?&quot; the most helpful thing you can do is roll up your sleeves and pitch in. Not to the point where you're both doing the same amount, but to the point where you're the same tired. That's the only way you'll both stay up the same lateness each night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T11:30:07.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20867" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-23T16:28:19.533" Score="2" ViewCount="160" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has pretty sensitive skin and has broken out with eczema once. We've tried Banana Boat and Blue Lizard and she's broken out from both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are sunscreen ingredients to avoid (or to look for) to find a sunscreen that works well with sensitive little ones?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16234" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-24T13:55:16.010" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T09:33:30.660" Title="Infant sunscreen recommendations for child with sensitive skin" Tags="|infant|allergies|skin-care|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20868" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-23T17:35:18.147" Score="3" ViewCount="224" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a soon to be 7 year old and a soon to be 2 year old. Now that school year is over I'm wondering how to keep her engaged. With the 2 year old, its hard for my wife to balance time with summer camps and stuff but we are planning to enroll her in some art related camp. But I'm looking for some activities that she can do at home that will be cool and interesting to her. Any time tested tips is welcome :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I'm adding this to clarify what I'm exactly looking for. I'm looking for some summer time activities, games and toys that a 7 year old can play alone and also some activities and games that she can do with her 2 year old sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4964" LastEditorUserId="4964" LastEditDate="2015-07-14T19:44:17.363" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T17:47:29.113" Title="Suggestions on keeping a soon to be 7 year old engaged during summer vacation" Tags="|activities|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20867" CreationDate="2015-06-23T17:40:30.380" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter was pretty sensitive, especially on her face, and we had great success with 7th Generation, available on Amazon at &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B007FI5QT0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Seventh-Generation-Baby-Sunscreen-Ounce/dp/B007FI5QT0&lt;/a&gt; and I sporadically find it in stores as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T17:40:30.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20855" CreationDate="2015-06-23T17:51:19.173" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I have grown up bilingually and on top of that went to an English school and having read in the past through research regarding bilingualism in children I think it's fair to say that it's a huge advantage in many different ways: not only does it open up more paths later on in life, but purely from a cognitive point of view it helps a lot as well. To just quote the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Cognitive_advantages_of_bilingualism&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;wikipedia article on the topic&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Being bilingual has been linked to a number of cognitive benefits. Research has studied how a bilingual individual's L1 first language (L1) and second language (L2) interact, and has shown that both languages have an influence on the function of one another, and also on cognitive function outside of language. Research on the cognitive advantages to linguistic development, perception, and attentional and inhibitory control has shown that bilinguals can benefit from significant cognitive advantages over monolingual peers in various settings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; you're capable to teach the kid your mother tongue whilst he also learns English as his primary language that will be great, but your concern that he won't learn your mother tongue correctly is definitely valid. There are ways however that can help a lot with that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get him/her to spend time with your grandparents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get him/her to watch television in your mother tongue (and once he's old enough possibly subtitled in English) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Spend holidays in your home country&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally it's not like you're limited to one language whilst communicating to your kid. After summer holidays we would often communicate primarily in my mothers tongue for two months or so, whilst the rest of the time it was primarily the local tongue (70-80% local tongue, 30-20% mother tongue I would estimate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very rare danger of this is that a child will have trouble to differentiate between languages, I have seen this in the primary school department of my old international school, however this is normally caused by children moving a lot between countries. The reason I explicitly mention this is because you pointed out your use of English nouns in your mother tongue, greatly increasing the likelihood that he will mix things up like that as well without realizing he's doing this. As far as you're able to you should really try to do that as minimally as possible in the early stages of learning the language. Once one reaches the point where a clear differentiation is made between the languages it's perfectly fine (though of course speaking the language correctly will teach him more of it, but it's not going to cause active harm to his ability to learn and speak the language correctly later).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6902" LastEditorUserId="6902" LastEditDate="2019-05-21T07:06:01.727" LastActivityDate="2019-05-21T07:06:01.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20853" CreationDate="2015-06-23T23:11:27.457" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like my daughter at that age, who's now 5 years old.  In my daughter's case, it was here moro reflex that caused her to avoid sitting.  Basically, the moving backward made her feel like she was in a backward free fall. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try this: lean her back into the chair &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; slowly, with her head and back supported by your hand.  If that doesn't work then attempt to roll her, from laying on her stomach, into a chair from the side, if possible.  HTH&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16883" LastActivityDate="2015-06-23T23:11:27.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20855" CreationDate="2015-06-24T11:09:41.873" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guess: you are from India! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is always better to integrate the child into the local society. If you think she would someday return to your motherland, then bring her up in your mother tongue. Else, bring her up in English. Am also a residing away from the language area i was born in; my children faced quite some tough times while growing up, what with four (!) languages spoken in their vicinity. They still managed. I brought them up in my mother tongue, because someday they would be going back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16889" LastActivityDate="2015-06-24T11:09:41.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20867" CreationDate="2015-06-24T15:07:55.343" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main consideration with infant sunscreens are they should be Zinc Oxide or Titanium Dioxide based only; not only will these be much less irritating&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;, but they are considered safer. Infants absorb a lot more through their skin than older children and adults, and so the Oxybenzone and other organic chemicals in many adult (and even some child) sunscreens are absorbed through the skin much more than they are in adults&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About Oxybenzone:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some groups&lt;sup&gt;3&lt;/sup&gt; consider oxybenzone dangerous as an enocrine disruptor and potential cancer risk (while not identical, this is the same general type of issue as with BPA).  That is disputed by other groups, including many doctors, and needs additional testing and research; but for now, at least for us, we use zinc oxide only sunscreens as they're less bothersome for our skin and they're quite good, so we see no reason to take our chances.  (We also use them liberally, and don't care if they're a bit greasy or make our skin white, the main concerns with Zinc Oxide based sunscreens.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/baby-sunscreen/faq-20058159&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Mayo Clinic guide to baby sunscreens&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/743529&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Medscape - How Does Infant Skin Differ From Adult Skin (Lio, 2011)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;3&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ewg.org/2015sunscreen/report/the-trouble-with-sunscreen-chemicals/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Environmental Working Group: The Trouble with Sunscreen&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-06-24T15:07:55.343" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="964" CreationDate="2015-06-24T16:34:12.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From personal experience which happens to match what Dr. Harvey Karp suggested in the Happiest Baby on the Block: I am much more vigorous with my calming techniques (rocking, shushing, etc.) than my wife is. I believe the baby responds more to me because of that added vigor, especially when the baby is extremely upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A similar difference in techniques between yourself and your wife could be there reason for what you're seeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastActivityDate="2015-06-24T16:34:12.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20655" CreationDate="2015-06-24T17:43:39.887" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my case, I have 2 daughters and one is very sensitive.  I've found that any attempt to toughen her up only made her more sensitive.  I now use a different approach altogether and found it far more effective by a long shot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I would try something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;when he cries, label the reason for why he is crying.  This might be something like &quot;I saw that you scratched your arm and that hurt you&quot;; &quot;It feels sad when you die in a game like that&quot;; etc.  You can remain factual in your delivery, doesn't have to be overly soothing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;make him feel that you are on his side by saying something like: &quot;I wish you didn't get hurt&quot;; &quot;I wish that you won that game&quot;; &quot;I wish it wasn't bedtime&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;state the reality and path forward: &quot;but you did get hurt and when you are ready, it's time to try again&quot;; &quot;but you died and when you are ready play the game again&quot;; &quot;but it is bedtime&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note, it is absolutely important to use a non-judgmental tone of voice or words.  Additionally, it works best when I'm not overly nurturing either although I will provide comforting as appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps. This has worked very well for my daughter and she requires much of less of this as time goes on and has become much better at self soothing and simply moves on herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16883" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-03T13:20:59.847" LastActivityDate="2019-04-03T13:20:59.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19003" CreationDate="2015-06-25T03:00:03.807" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rash baby might have a rash somewhere on his or her body. I just figured this out for myself: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was crying terribly so I inspected his hiney and I saw nothing at all, until I looked a little deeper and it was not a full grown rash, but it was growing in and it was just red below his testicles, really small. I put some a and d ointment in, closed the diaper and he's good as new. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes rashes can't be seen, it's just a red area. So if you experience a crying baby at diaper change just put some ointment down there everywhere just to be safe, because it's very painful for babies and they can not talk to tell us what's wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16896" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-28T08:37:41.867" LastActivityDate="2018-03-28T08:37:41.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20881" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20894" CreationDate="2015-06-25T03:24:22.560" Score="11" ViewCount="6799" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want him to be well behaved but I also want him to be happy and to feel loved by us. I find it difficult to balance telling him off so the he understands not to drop food on the floor, grab my glasses, wriggle off the changing unit etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I'm trying to stop him hurting himself, others just to try and raise a well behaved child. The only way I think he understands is to be very stern when telling him off but it feels like I spend too long talking to him sternly!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I need to relax with him a bit? I want him to have fun, feel loved but I also feel my duty is to make him understand what is right and wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16897" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-27T17:31:59.937" LastActivityDate="2015-06-27T17:31:59.937" Title="How strict should I be with my 9 month old?" Tags="|infant|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20881" CreationDate="2015-06-25T03:39:33.440" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children at 9 months really don't understand cause and effect yet&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;. As far as he knows at this point, you're being stern with him and he doesn't have any idea why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son will eventually respond to gentle repetition. When my daughter (now nearly two) would grab my glasses, I would tell her &amp;quot;no, please don't do that&amp;quot; and take my glasses back without putting up a fuss. I would keep doing that even if it happens over and over. If she didn't stop doing that after several times, I would put her down or otherwise distract her with something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently she has been putting her knees up while at the table (in a highchair). I've been telling her for weeks to please put her feet down, and she does so whenever I ask. Now I can just sort of look at her and nod, and she puts her feet down. It's really quite magical!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cde.ca.gov/sp/cd/re/itf09cogdevfdcae.asp&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;California Department of Education: Foundation: Cause and Effect&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At around 36 months of age, children demonstrate an understanding of cause and effect by making predictions about what could happen and reflect upon what caused something to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9114" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T01:10:35.143" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20883" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-25T04:18:11.977" Score="2" ViewCount="301" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is eleven years old, and I struggle with how to teach / empower him to apply himself.  For example, when he first started playing the trumpet, he didn't want to practice, but I explained that if he practiced, he would get better.  His school's music teacher required we sign off that he practices 80 minutes a week, which he did (unwillingly, but he did it), and over time his trumpet playing was great.  He hated practicing, and when the school year ended, he decided to turn his rented trumpet back in and stop playing.  He says he's not good at anything...when I tell him if he works hard and applies himself, he will get good, he seems to not understand this.  It seems like he doesn't want to work hard, and I don't know how to get him to see that if he invests the time and effort, it will pay off.  Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16898" LastEditorUserId="16898" LastEditDate="2015-06-25T04:24:52.583" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T11:50:14.827" Title="What do I do when my eleven year old son is down on himself?" Tags="|self-esteem|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20881" CreationDate="2015-06-25T04:50:45.830" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no doubt (in my mind) that children can be trained to be &quot;good babies&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;American Indians in times past would start soon after birth teaching a child not to cry. Back then, a cry might alert a nearby enemy, startle an animal being hunted, whatever. It was important. So the moment a baby started to cry, they would pinch it's nostrils shut. The initial reaction to this was panic, because infants are obligate nose breathers, so they would stop crying. Applied every time a baby started to cry taught the child to simply not cry. So they had a &quot;good baby&quot;, but at what cost? I assume it wasn't small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you want a good baby (don't we all!). But there is a price to pay for a baby who has learned a hard lesson to stop doing what comes naturally to them: testing gravity, cause and effect (&quot;If I drop the bowl, will daddy bend over/bring it back?&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The only way I think he understands is to be very stern when telling him off but it feels like I spend too long talking to him sternly!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way this works (and if you are very consistent, it will work!) is that he will learn to fear doing the behavior because of the displeasure it invokes in you. When he does something unwanted, he feels unsafe in your harsh speech. So he'll stop, eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I want him to be well behaved but I also want him to be happy and to feel loved by us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the culture you are in values obedience and tidiness above individual expression, this will be a good way to make your child conform. And he may well get heaps of praise for being a &quot;good baby&quot;. But the real question is will he feel loved? It depends on how you define love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an American, I think you're expecting a lot from your son. The only thing I would consistently discourage is grabbing the glasses, and I wouldn't yell. I would just say no, take back my glasses and put the baby in a boring place for a minute or two (an empty playpen for example). Every time he did it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T04:50:45.830" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20885" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20886" CreationDate="2015-06-25T10:35:29.490" Score="4" ViewCount="1658" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a first time father with 1-month old DS. My wife has been exclusively breastfeeding, 20 mins on each breast every two hours. Currently both my wife and the baby are on a medication because they have thrush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have some issue with how my baby is doing in relation to the situation my wife and I are in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had about two weeks off work to help out my wife in raising the baby. He basically starts crying when he is in unwanted position. The only position in which he would not cry is having his chest up on my shoulder. Everytime my wife and I try putting him on the floor or making him sit or holding him on his back to our chests, he bursts out crying like he lost his world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's quite okay for me to hold him on the shoulder but as my leave is going to end soon, I am very worried that my wife would have hard time alone with the baby at home without anyone helping her. (She would have to eat, sleep etc but could not do so without the baby off her body)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An additional issue is that the baby is sleeping for an average of 8 hours a day most of which is through the night which will make my wife's job even harder. (He wakes up everytime we put him to his crib and starts crying) Breastfeeding is IMO quite efficient as there is not much resting between sucks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because we also have hard time making him fall asleep at night (wakes up when he lies down), we have been considering to put him to sleep training&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So based on the above, the questions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything we could do to make him like other cuddling positions at least? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the amount of his sleep okay? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is sleep training appropriate at his age? There are some methods suggesting Cry-It-Out, but wouldn't it harm babies' growth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice or opinion is greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16900" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T03:54:39.337" Title="1-month baby crying when on floor" Tags="|sleep|newborn|breastfeeding|crying|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20885" CreationDate="2015-06-25T10:53:32.100" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question covers a few points, which is usually discouraged here but as you are a new parent and new to this site I'll let it slip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your baby &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; cries when in a horizontal position, I suggest talking to your healthcare provider. Some babies have reflux problems (similar to heartburn in adults), which can be really painful. This needs professional examination / treatment. Do not hesitate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8 hours is not enough sleep for a newborn. Yet point 1 could be the reason for frequent waking/crying. Normally a baby &quot;takes&quot; as much sleep as it needs, if not, there is a reason. But sleep training is &lt;em&gt;absolutely not&lt;/em&gt; the solution for a 1mo. I'm not a fan of it myself, but all sources I know say a baby should be at least 6 month old before you start.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you need to keep your baby upright (please, no &quot;sitting&quot; yet!), I suggest you try babywearing. This means using a cloth / sling to carry your baby in an upright, anatomically correct (-&gt; hips!) position in front (later also on your back) of your body. This can be very soothing for the infant, reduce reflux and allow the parent to move, do some housework or go out. Be careful that some of the more rigid carrier systems may not be designed for very small or young babies, most slings can be used from birth. Speaking from experience I can recommend the products of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.didymos.de/en/&quot;&gt;Didymos&lt;/a&gt;, but I'm in Germany. Our first child slept in his first year almost exclusively if in close contact to our bodies, so I can relate. Tying these long cloths can feel daunting at first, but usually you get the hang of it really quick. Practice with a teddy bear first...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-06-25T11:00:15.463" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T11:00:15.463" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20887" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-25T11:04:20.223" Score="3" ViewCount="569" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a Greek, born, living and working in France, married to an Albanian woman, working all day in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a 2,5 year old daughter, who lived from: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;September 2014 to April 2015 and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;February 2014 to April 2014&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;in Albania (11 months, approx. 36% of her lifespan), where people only talked albanian to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I speak only French with my child, BUT I only speak Greek with my wife, because she refuses to speak French with me, because she is insecure in French. Yet, my wife speaks Albanian to my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These facts lead to the circumstance, that the language development of my child seems a bit delayed, because she doesn't yet make three word sentences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though I am a little worried about her language development, I want to know, if there is a problem if I also start speaking English to her on a regular basis, since I heard that children are capable growing up learning different languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there something like a burnout/depression danger in children? Since I can see it in her eyes that she wants to communicate but is not able to and I can see it bothering her a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I cut my communication with my daughter down to only French? Should I cut it down to speaking Greek with her, since this is the language I speak with her mother every day? Or should I just continue mixing everything up? Or can I even start speaking English with her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want her to struggle to the point of extreme frustration, but if this means that in the end, her language development will catch up to normal kids, I am inclined to let her struggle a bit. So are there any longterm deficits for her, if I introduce English?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;George&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16815" LastEditorUserId="16815" LastEditDate="2015-06-26T14:42:45.460" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T16:34:38.540" Title="What language should I speak to my daughter?" Tags="|toddler|development|language-development|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20885" CreationDate="2015-06-25T11:10:45.397" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;@Stephie nailed it, but I'll add a couple more suggestions. If you don't currently swaddle your son, try it.  In the last trimester, babies are crammed quite tightly in the uterus, and tend to find being swaddled snugly to be comforting.  We swaddled both of ours as long as we could do so safely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our elder child didn't sleep until she was two, so we tried LOTS of things to help her sleep.  One that was a huge help was suggested by our pediatrician, which is the 90-minute activity cycle.  Essentially, after waking, a child will be active and hungry for approximately 90 minutes, and then be ready for another sleep, and will nap for 90 minutes or a multiple thereof, at which point they awaken and you lather-rinse-repeat.  Watch his activity for a few days; if you see that he starts getting tired and cranky about 90 minutes after waking, go ahead &amp;amp; put him down for a nap and see if it helps.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For sleeping in his crib, that's going to take time and patience.  The swaddling might help, and having a routine will DEFINITELY help (turn on the white noise, rock and feed, place him on his back and gently rub his chest for a few minutes, things like that; do these things every single time you put him down, so that he knows what to expect and will be less anxious trying to anticipate what will happen next).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh!  Just remembered the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_harvey-karps-happiest-baby-method-for-baby-sleep-and-soothin_10373838.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Five S's&lt;/a&gt;!  We used these to great effect with both ours (swaddle, swing, side (not while sleeping!), shush, suckle). Heck, my older child is nearly 7 and when she's had a really bad day, I still use some of those to help her calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastEditorUserId="2176" LastEditDate="2015-06-25T13:32:35.187" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T13:32:35.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20883" CreationDate="2015-06-25T11:50:14.827" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You seem to have needed to do a lot of cajoling to get him to practice! (I infer this from &quot;unwillingly, but he did it&quot;.) Even with all that practice and eventual improvement, he wasn't self-starting the action: even though he did the work, he isn't making the mental connection. You're hoping he sees &quot;my work = my success&quot;, but he's probably perceiving &quot;my parents push me = I won't succeed without them pushing&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A notion that may be relevant is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/2410/when-is-praise-for-children-harmful/2807#2807&quot;&gt;praising effort over intelligence&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. In the case of the trumpet, did you praise the time spent practicing or the resulting improvement? Did you talk about how much you appreciated him practicing (even though he hated it), or focus on the better sounds coming out of the instrument?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Praising effort was an odd mental shift for me as a parent when I started trying to do it with my kids. I'd always assumed that they would have that mental bridge connecting practice to success, and understand I was proud of their preparation when I praised good results. When I started saying things like &lt;em&gt;you do a lot of practicing and I'm proud to see that&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;you worked really hard on that homework packet, great job&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;you really listened well to your ballet teacher at class today&lt;/em&gt; — with little or no judgment of the quality of their performance/grades/etc. — there was a subtle but noticeable shift. In their case they naturally have trouble focusing, and so supporting their struggle with that was a bigger boost than I'd ever accomplished by only talking about results. &quot;I'm not good at anything!&quot; still gets wailed occasionally when they're really frustrated, but it's &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; less frequent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, look into activities that he's either naturally good at in some fashion or is intensely interested in. Try to keep it low-pressure (a lot of coaches/teachers also praise results instead of effort, not necessarily useful!), and let him take the lead to find a skill that you can encourage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T11:50:14.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20101" CreationDate="2015-06-25T12:02:29.360" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is normal and a good growing sign. As long as your baby is active, happy and feel comfortable then no need to worry. Enjoy!! Baby is learning to use his muscles it seems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T12:02:29.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20101" CreationDate="2015-06-25T12:31:03.073" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there are no additional worrying behaviors (cries, painful expressions, arc-like bending instead of a straight stretch) I'd say it's normal, it's OK, it's even good, because muscles, apparently, are working as they should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it seems so &quot;severe&quot; because we are used to babies lying with their legs bent, curled - a baby stretched, with straight arms and legs, seems somehow unnatural. It isn't, though:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T12:31:03.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20881" CreationDate="2015-06-25T12:53:32.750" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't help you with &quot;try and raise a well behaved child&quot; because this isn't specific enought. I can tell you what we did for other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made sure there was nothing we didn't want our kid to grab at his reach (plants, statues, ...) . If there was, we would say to give it back. We also made the house kid friendly (his toys/books were at reach, we had a small safe stool to see the counter, ...). We could then let the kid pretty much do what ever he wanted in the house and let him explore/test the world. Note, when you son will be a bit older and explored everything you wanted him to, he will start exploring everything you don't want him to. If these things are limited, your live will be easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for food, it took about a month of repeating &quot;food stays on the table&quot; a few times each day. We would give him one piece of food at a time. Than, at 12mo he would push the food he didn't want or give it to us (we didn't force him to eat).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, prevention is key and than it's just repetition. When he will be older and can talk, then it's a whole different story. You can teach him how to properly do things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, to make things easier for us, we had a small rule. If the kid own a problem, we let him figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T12:53:32.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20893" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-25T13:04:36.940" Score="16" ViewCount="3313" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (4 1/2) attends a pre-school that we all like very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's in a class of kids ranging from 3 to 5.  He generally prefers to socialize with the older children.  In this particular class, there are 5 boys who are roughly his age or a bit older.  Two of those boys are very close with my son, and they all play very well together.  My son gets along pretty well with one of the three remaining boys, but he's a bit too high strung for my son's tastes, so they don't play together too often.  One of the remaining 2 we don't hear about very often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which leaves the last older boy, which is the root of the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This boy (we'll call him &quot;Cain&quot;), clearly has some problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We first became aware of this when my son complained to us after school that he was upset because Cain pretended to urinate on him, and called him &quot;dumb&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That incident was repeated about a week later, and we started to get reports from both my son and his teachers that Cain was involved in some incidents that resulted in Cain hitting my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each time the teachers seemed to have responded appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've had conversations with the mothers of the two boys my son is closest to, and they both shared that they had had reports of similar incidents between Cain and their sons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made the teacher aware of our concerns, and she responded by separating Cain and my son into different groups during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, they still all have outside play together, and Cain frequently wants to play with my son and his two friends.  We've told our son that he should tell Cain that he doesn't want to play with him, because he isn't nice and he hits, but that's hard for my son, both because he likes to play with other kids, and because sometimes when he's playing with the other two boys, Cain joins in, and my son doesn't want to leave his friends just because Cain arrived (and nor do we want him to learn to deal with situations like this by constantly avoiding the situation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this has built up to the situation we were told about late last week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently, the boys were playing outside, and Cain hit my son, and then reached down and grabbed my son's penis through his pants, and pinched it hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teachers intervened quickly.  Cain claimed that my son was chasing him, and that Cain had told my son to stop, but none of the teachers believe Cain's story (it seems like one or more of the teachers witnessed at least part of the situation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The head teacher told us that Cain's parents were going to be notified, and asked to sit in class for a day to observe Cain's behavior.  Furthermore, the school director was notified.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my son is very upset (rightfully so!).  He's talked about Cain leaving school, but he's also talked about leaving school himself so that he doesn't have to see Cain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, we don't want to teach my son that running away is a valid way to solve all difficulties (although running away &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; sometimes the correct response).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we give the school a chance to resolve this problem, what should we do to help my son keep from being bullied by this child?  I want him to feel comfortable defending himself in whatever fashion is most appropriate, but I also don't want to teach him that physical violence is a means of anything but defense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T01:56:38.473" Title="How do I help my son deal with a sexually abusive bully in preschool?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|bullying|violence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20881" CreationDate="2015-06-25T13:18:55.450" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is both no need and no sense of being strict with a 9mo baby. With 1,5-2 YO, maybe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should, however, be consistent. Make sure your reactions to various actions are consistent. Control your reaction, including facial expressions and your tone appropriately to the situation. Talk to your wife and try to reach a consensus each time your baby does something one of you dislikes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Differentiate your reactions based on how bad is something the baby is doing or how much you don't want to do it. An example of &quot;prepared&quot; reactions for behaviors of a now 1.5 yo which we try to stick to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;life/health threatening situations (electric plugs, running towards a street, touching a red-hot oven, etc.) -&gt; a loud and angry &quot;don't!&quot; , stern expression, putting the baby away and a short timeout/&lt;em&gt;ignore&lt;/em&gt; [*]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;minor health-threatening/inconvenience situations (a bit too warm tea, wet grass, possible minor fall) -&gt; stern expression, &quot;it's hot, if you touch it your hand will hurt&quot; / &quot;you'll have wet socks if you go there&quot; / &quot;be careful or you will fall&quot; and let the child experience the effect on its own (if your conscience allows it, and trust me, allowing it is more difficult than you think)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;breaking parents' rules, no or little danger to health (goes into a closet, gets too far away from parents) -&gt; stern expression, &quot;you can't go in there&quot;, pick up and put away fro the place, timeout/ignore&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;not fulfilling requests (put toys to the box, clean the water you spilled) -&gt; sad face, verbal reprimend (&quot;a good girl puts the toys to the box after she's done playing&quot;), wait a while, repeat, then clean myself with sad face still&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[*] My daughter seemed to understand that picking her up, putting somewehere else and going away from her and ignoring her for a while with sad/angry face was a punishment. She reacted to it well, meaning her behavior did change eventually when using this method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a while your child will understand what kind of &quot;threat level&quot; his behavior is causing and may respond well. If you have built up your reputation with lvl 2 threats (allowed a few minor headbumps which came despite your warning) your baby will most likely listen to you whn you warn it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-06-26T08:42:52.270" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T08:42:52.270" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20893" CreationDate="2015-06-25T17:50:18.733" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ouch. This is difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, the good points: you have the school on your side, they are responding appropriately, and it sounds like Cain is being progressed through a proper disciplinary sequence. You might ask the school about that: they should have a written policy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that you want to send the right messages to your son. I would suggest that your most important message here is that you deal with these matters by getting the authorities on your side, and that you have the right to insist that they do their job. Part of that job is keeping your son safe from abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest talking to the school about your concerns. Are the school going to take steps to ensure that your son (and, for that matter, other pupils) are safe from Cain? For instance, could Cain be restricted to an area of the playground close to the supervising teacher?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to understand your son's relationship with these two friends better. Can your son's friends be enlisted to refuse to play with Cain? It sounds like this is at least part of the problem. Its odd that your son won't leave his friends when Cain arrives, but wants to leave the school with his friends in it. Leaving the group when Cain arrives isn't avoiding the situation, its making a statement. Maybe these friends will decide that Cain isn't as much fun to be with as your son, and vote with their feet. Or maybe they aren't very good friends, in which case your son needs to learn to be independent of them and not put up with abuse in the hope of gaining &quot;friendship&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T17:50:18.733" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="964" CreationDate="2015-06-25T17:57:49.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is just speculation, but babies can be very sensitive to the mood of the person holding them. If your wife is troubled by this problem then she probably tenses up when she holds the babies, and they sense this and get upset, which reinforces the problem. If so then some relaxation techniques and maybe cognitive therapy for your wife might be beneficial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-06-25T17:57:49.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2015-06-25T22:03:56.400" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My personal experience with my soon to be 20 year old son: I was fed up with him not enrolling in school or work. I gave him the choice of get a job and contribute or get out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've taken video games, computer, phones away forever and it still did not work. He is a very social person. That is why I don't blame his unemployment on lack of confidence. He is a smooth talking person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He chose to move out and is now having problems with his female roommate that is supporting him. Well I offered him the same deal which is no friends allowed, get a job, and pay bills, and go to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He said no and wants nothing to do with the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people learn the hard way. What I think or know is that our teens are on drugs and would rather be bums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16907" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-26T15:28:11.757" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T15:28:11.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20893" CreationDate="2015-06-26T01:56:38.473" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;This has to be one of the most painful parts of parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's good that the teachers are contacting you**; having Cain's parents sit in, though, while very important for Cain and his parents, is not much of an action plan.  What are the school's written policies? All schools should have one in place; even in preschool. Ask to read it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bullying often starts in preschool, partly because of marked size differences, and partly because of it's the first social framework relatively independent of parental supervision.  From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.eyesonbullying.org/childcare.html&quot;&gt;one source&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Among children two to six years of age, bullying usually develops in a well-defined progression. For example, a young boy may begin by targeting and dominating a vulnerable peer [it's called social domination]... If the boy’s early examples of coercive behavior are ignored or remain unchecked, he is likely to increase their levels and/or increase the number of children he targets. Then, other children who observe his “success” and perceived power are likely to join in—dominating the same victims repeatedly or using similar tactics to target and dominate victims of their own. If these early forms of direct bullying are allowed to continue over several months, power hierarchies may form, with groups of dominant children regularly bullying others...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, you can: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Familiarize yourself with the anti-bullying guidelines&lt;/strong&gt; of other schools in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stopbullying.gov/laws/key-components/index.html#prohibited&quot;&gt;your state&lt;/a&gt;, school district, or states with a progressive stance against bullying. That can prepare you for talks with teachers and administrators, and give you some reasonable basis on which to request particular actions if your son's school doesn't go far enough (at this stage, I'd say your son's school isn't going far enough. This kid deserves at least a denial of recess - playgrounds are a common site of bullying - if not a short suspension.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Investigate bibliotherapy&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/avp/son/cats/public/default.html&quot;&gt;This website&lt;/a&gt; has a list of books to read with your child (preschool and up) about bullying. There are other good lists on the internet, and maybe even in your library (You can ask if they have a librarian with training in bibliotherapy.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure your son has a good range of &quot;feeling words&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; with which he can express himself to you and others. There are lots of lists on the internet; I would aim a bit above what is considered an &quot;age appropriate&quot; list. Encourage him to use them in all sorts of situations so that the focus isn't only on the bullying done at school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure your son doesn't internalize guilt&lt;/strong&gt; for this; &lt;em&gt;it's not his fault&lt;/em&gt; in any way, shape, or form. Discussing why young children bully others can help your son to avoid taking on any blame, and might even help him have a little bit of empathy for Cain (not permission to bully, but enough to understand it's not anything your son did.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Provide your son with opportunities to play with his friends outside of school&lt;/strong&gt;. It might make walking away (if necessary) easier if your son knows he'll have time with his friends outside of school. Get to know your children’s friends. Get to know the parents of your children’s friends. You can even discuss mutual strategies with them. (Some studies advocate that the child not walk away from the bully, but that a friend quickly notifies a teacher or an adult.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At least one study advocated enrolling your child in martial arts, not so that they can use violence, but just to gain confidence in their own abilities of self-determination; also kids with confidence are less often the object of bullying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might check out blog sites, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.facebook.com/YaleCenterEmotionalIntelligence&quot;&gt;facebook pages&lt;/a&gt; and even &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.stopbullying.gov/blog/2014/08/18/put-power-prevent-bullying-your-hand&quot;&gt;apps&lt;/a&gt; for parents of kids who have been bullied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;In &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.state.nj.us/education/students/safety/behavior/hib/ParentGuide.pdf&quot;&gt;New Jersey&lt;/a&gt;, teachers &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;sub&gt;notify parents on the day of an incident, principals must be involved within &lt;em&gt;one day&lt;/em&gt; of an event, and the inappropriate genital contact &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be seen as a police matter, I kid you not.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://171.66.127.221/content/20/3/127.abstract&quot;&gt;Bibliotherapy: A Strategy to Help Students With Bullying&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://jimforgan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Forgan-Bibliotherapy.pdf&quot;&gt;Using Bibliotherapy to Teach Problem Solving&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://digitalcommons.kennesaw.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1416&amp;amp;context=etd&quot;&gt;THE EFFECT OF CLASSROOM BIBL&#xA;IOTHERAPEUTIC INTERVENTION ON PERCEPTIONS OF BULLYING AMONG TEACHERS OF YOUNG CHILDREN AGED FOUR AND FIVE&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.safeschools.info/content/BPToolkit2014.pdf&quot;&gt;Pennsylvania Bullying Prevention Toolkit&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.eyesonbullying.org/childcare.html&quot;&gt;Eyes on Bullying: What Can You Do&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;sub&gt;&amp;lt;- good resources listed in this, including the American Psychological Association’s Violence Prevention website&lt;/sub&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T01:56:38.473" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20900" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20905" CreationDate="2015-06-26T03:01:13.710" Score="11" ViewCount="1236" Body="&lt;p&gt;Now I might be mistaken but it seems from the very beginning people call baby girls &lt;strong&gt;pretty&lt;/strong&gt; (superficial) and &quot;little &lt;strong&gt;princess&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; (expectation of having minimal utility) and baby boys &lt;strong&gt;strong&lt;/strong&gt; (innate) and &quot;little &lt;strong&gt;man&lt;/strong&gt;&quot; (expectation of standing up for oneself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm about to have a baby girl and I would like to spare her from being judged by her looks and from being encouraged to value pretty things (rather than skills, perseverance, hardwork and innate value) insofar as I'm able. I know I can only mitigate the tide of bling and superficiality modern society drowns us in, but I've got to try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to be a hard-line nutter and make people feel awkward, nor go completely neutral and make people have to ask her sex (and then just have them gush accordingly anyway) -- but was thinking of making some cute patches saying something like &quot;tell me about books not looks&quot; or something like this to stick on her blanket/bonnet/crib. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note I expect my parents to be &lt;em&gt;particularly&lt;/em&gt; difficult to approach about this. They already call my distended belly &quot;pretty&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any advice or experience with handling this dilemma?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16173" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T15:22:25.900" Title="What is a polite way to ask others not to comment on baby girl only for her looks?" Tags="|newborn|gender-stereotypes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8688" CreationDate="2015-06-26T04:07:02.163" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to add (to expand upon @Adam Davis' comment) the concept of &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infant_mortality&quot;&gt;infant mortality&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of our civilisation and technology we know that by even some &lt;strong&gt;basic intervention&lt;/strong&gt; the &lt;strong&gt;risk&lt;/strong&gt; of mother or child dying in child birth can be &lt;strong&gt;reduced&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the &lt;strong&gt;last century&lt;/strong&gt; or so we have &lt;strong&gt;reduced mother's death&lt;/strong&gt; in childbirth from &lt;strong&gt;1%&lt;/strong&gt; (my great-grandmother died in childbirth for example) &lt;strong&gt;to 0.013%&lt;/strong&gt; (I personally know of no one in the modern era dying in childbirth) and infant mortality has fallen dramatically (depending where you're born).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We simply don't think this way about non-human animals reproduction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to some seconds of internet research: about &lt;strong&gt;1% of cats&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;2% of dogs&lt;/strong&gt;  will have birthing related complications. Apparently this number in unassisted &lt;strong&gt;cattle&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;goats&lt;/strong&gt; births is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; high. Apparently miniature horses nearly always need assistance, as do many small breeds of dogs, for example some breed of Chihuahuas can need cesearian sections. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So really in a reproductive sense we're normal animals, but yes, with very big brains that in this regard we've used in a good way (to save more women and babies!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's the whole other discussion about &quot;litter sizes&quot;, which is the work around in case some % of your offspring just don't make it. Obviously many animals use this strategy. But that is a different Q&amp;amp;A.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16173" LastEditorUserId="16173" LastEditDate="2015-06-26T04:15:25.490" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T04:15:25.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20902" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-26T06:38:42.697" Score="-1" ViewCount="760" Body="&lt;p&gt;What happens to the body of a 3 year old when dropping her constantly from 6 foot tall father to 3 inch foam mattress topper on a bed for fun?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16910" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-26T11:47:31.887" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T16:38:19.543" Title="Is falling onto a mattress safe?" Tags="|toddler|health|family-activities|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-06-26T15:11:59.587" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20887" CreationDate="2015-06-26T12:30:09.807" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Since I can see it in her eyes that she wants to communicate but is not able to and I can see it bothering her a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the Amerind languages was reputed to be so hard that native children weren't fluently competent until about age 8. It is possible that if a child needs to speak 4 languages, it will take longer before they reach competency in all of them (or the first).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did baby sign with my toddler until he started talking. Wrapping your tongue around the words is hard. As soon as he started talking, he stopped signing. (He's learning English primarily and a little Tagalog and Russian)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's all about exposure. The languages where you don't get enough exposure will degrade to receptive ability alone. Personally I think that still counts as resource because if someone needs to upgrade their skill from receptive to fluent in adulthood, it will be easier than if they knew none of the language at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, this is more than 2 languages-- if you can come up with &quot;system&quot; for when to speak each language, that helps. For example, language X outside of the house, language Y when reading and watching TV, language Z in mixed company. I don't think the mixing is a problem, in the Philippines, language mixing is an obligatory part of the language. I think the issue is that if you don't have a system for switching, you can easily end up in the same language all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ability to acquire the next language just by hearing it degrades continually from age 0 to 18 or so. The old rule of thumb was age 4, now the answer is more complicated-- kids can move to a new language community and be accent free up to about age 6 or 12.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The practical upper limit for learning languages by growing up surrounded by them is about 6 for communities where the entire community is multilingual. ref: &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1451628269&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Babel-No-More-Extraordinary-Language/dp/1451628269&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What could possibly go wrong?&lt;/strong&gt; This seems to be the underlying question in these sort of questions (and the answers)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People who for social and cultural reasons are palpably afraid of the implications of speaking more than one language around kids-- they don't have a leg to stand on. So far, I've only read about children who have unstable lives where they keep moving one one monolingual community to another and dropping the old language and not quite learning the next-- those kids can end up fluent in no particular language. To really confuse children (my parents won't stop talking about my toddler being confused), you need colossal poverty, chaos and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, make sure you kids understand you best language or you understand fluently their best language. There are cases of parents who end up unable to speak to their children in any language because they tried to hard to make sure their kids spoke the community language alone and the parent never had time to learn the community language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My opinion is that it is a parent's job to teach their kids the languages necessary to fit in with the world they will grow up in. If you kid will be working the international bureaucracies, international sales and so on like it sounds like you do, they you should feel obliged to teach them as many languages as they might need to know. To pull off 4 languages, or even three, you may need to put some thought into fitting enough exposure into the daily schedule to give the child enough input to gain fluency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T12:30:09.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20900" CreationDate="2015-06-26T14:43:28.523" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a woman who studied science and is now in a male-dominated industry, I will try to give my perspective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Complements are freely given, and just like you wouldn't ask for a different kind of gift, you probably shouldn't ask for a different type of complement.&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking that into consideration, I would recommend the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) &lt;strong&gt;With strangers or acquaintances, simply say &quot;thank you&quot; and move on.&lt;/strong&gt; Give them the benefit of the doubt - people are trying to be polite and often not thinking much about what they are saying, or saying what they think you want to hear (the societal-norm)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) &lt;strong&gt;With yourself - be sure to dish out the good vibes&lt;/strong&gt; praise her often and focus more on her other characteristics and balance out the total in your favor&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) &lt;strong&gt;With close family / friends, explain to them that you are trying to do, and see if they want to join you&lt;/strong&gt; (without laying on a guilt trip).  Simply take them aside and say something like &quot;I think that it's a shame that people are too focused on praising people's looks. I'm trying to do my little part to balance out the superficiality of our society by praising my daughter's abilities (skills, hard work, values etc... some of these things don't come into play yet since she's a baby).  Want to help me by trying to mention when you see her doing a great job at xyz?  If you make it a concrete example, and keep it as a fun experiment, I think it can work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) &lt;strong&gt;Be comforted by the knowledge that your attitude is the most important thing for your daughter&lt;/strong&gt;. It will (likely) outweigh all the garbage that society throws at her, which you can't prevent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad is an engineer, and he was always bringing me into his lab to tinker with things; we were the &quot;fix-it friends&quot; around the house, and thanks to him I know how to do a lot of &quot;traditional male&quot; home maintenance things. When I was in a (thankfully brief) princess phase, he and my mom didn't keep me away from princessy things, but instead told me that princesses were so great because they are good at math and science and know a lot about leadership. All these things were so much more critical to my upbringing as a strong woman than a few passing comments about my looks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T14:43:28.523" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20900" CreationDate="2015-06-26T15:22:25.900" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There isn't much you can do to stem the tide of random strangers praising her looks. (And to be fair, what else &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; they know your daughter for?) Pretty much the only thing I have found even slightly effective is to redirect the discussion to a skill or non-physical trait.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What a pretty princess!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you. We're very proud, she can [roll over already], [feed herself cheerios], [read], [build a birdhouse], [do more pushups than boys twice her age]!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they keep gushing about her pretty hair or her adorable nose or whatever, just smile and walk away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is really more of a lifelong struggle, though; an infant doesn't understand whether the nice old lady is telling her she's a pretty princess or discussing the price of bread, but a kindergartner can comprehend and may internalize that casual chat. I'm highly unlikely to be able to change what well-meaning strangers might say. So I focus instead on how my daughter can build a solid self-image, by providing a foundation of positive reinforcement based on characteristics other than appearance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;We try to &lt;em&gt;model good behavior&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Parents have some of the strongest influence on their children's self-image; if you're always worried about your own appearance or commenting on others (either to their face or behind their back), it gets noticed and copied. If you're interested in other traits, or if you treat boys and girls the same, &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; will get noticed and copied. (And if your family or friends see that you're rarely talking about Daughter's cute curly hair but instead about her cheerful disposition, they might take a cue from you as well.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;But even if I'm doing the right thing, the rest of the world may not, and that's really what you're asking about. To help counterbalance, &lt;strong&gt;we have &lt;em&gt;lots of conversations&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; about positive body image and developing a strong sense of self that is separate from physical appearance. This ends up coming in a lot of forms, and changes with age. It used to be about choosing clothes you like, it transitioned into healthy eating (good for more than just &amp;quot;don't be fat&amp;quot; etc.), and more recently how to deal with friends who are drooling over boys and always worried about their hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a couple of slightly more specific things that seem to have worked well for my daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We let her pick what clothes, hair, and accessories (within reason) she will wear. My daughter has a personal style that I would never, ever choose for myself or her, and I sometimes think she looks pretty silly. She doesn't care, she's happy with all the colors and patterns, and we tell her she looks nice whatever she chooses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My tween is in ballet, an activity that sometimes focuses heavily on appearance: smoothed back hair, makeup, sparkly satiny dresses. But that's just seasonal performances. Most of the year, she's focused on foot and leg strength, choreography, balance and flexibility, rhythm, and other skills. Even after performances, me and other dance parents tend to talk about how her years of practice are really paying off, not how nicely the glittery eyeshadow matches the gorgeous dress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When she does something that is very contrary to gender stereotyped expectations, I give her a little extra &amp;quot;good for you, girl power&amp;quot; high-five. (Like being able to do more pushups than some of the older teenagers in her karate class. HECK YEAH.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T15:22:25.900" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20902" CreationDate="2015-06-26T16:38:19.543" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends on what you mean by constantly, and the exact height, the firmness of the bed, position of the child on landing, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fundamentally, the most problematic thing is happening in her head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A man falling 30 feet hitting a concrete abutment will die of internal injuries, because while the outside of his body stops suddenly, the contents of the body cavities remain in motion (the inside of his body is still falling.) That means that things will rip loose inside his body (for example his right or left pulmonary artery will tear at the junction where they are first supported by underlying structures because his heart is still falling.) This is known as a deceleration injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The brain is particularly vulnerable to deceleration injuries, especially in babies. When your 3 year old hits the bed, everything inside of her jiggles a little bit on impact, including her brain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brainline.org/content/multimedia.php?id=848&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This video&lt;/a&gt; shows the brain of an adult with a &quot;coups/contrecoups&quot; injury. It's dramatic because it's a car accident. But your 3 year old may be experiencing these types of injuries on a much, much smaller scale when she's dropped from a height onto a bed; it depends on many factors. And while a few times will most likely not hurt her in any way, multiplying this many times increases the chance of injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bouncing is fun! That's why trampolines are fun. But the American Academy of Pediatrics &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cbsnews.com/news/pediatricians-warn-against-trampoline-use-at-home-citing-injury-risks/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;discourages any use of trampolines&lt;/a&gt;, because of this kind of injury and others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All kids jump on beds (under their own power), and mostly, he worst thing that happens is they fall off the bed and break an arm or something. As a mom who likes kids to have fun, I allowed my kids to jump on their beds. We (their dad and I) would also toss them in the air on a sheet, but note that the deceleration is much more gradual in that case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said, a lot depends on various factors. Not knowing them all, I would advise against that activity just to be on the safe side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T16:38:19.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2015-06-26T17:39:50.853" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Best I can tell, there is no lower weight equivalent to the puddle jumper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a petite 2 year old who would love to have a &quot;floatie&quot; like her 4 year old sister. Our 2 year old weighs 23 pounds. We put her sister's puddle jumper on just to see if it would work and it is huge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far, &#xA;The best solution we have found is to buy the smallest 0- ring shaped floats we can (usually at the Dollar Tree) and keep her within arms reach at all times. She doesn't try to get out of the ring and generally enjoys floating around rather passively so I don't know how it would work with a different personality type lol but the ring fits pretty close to her body so it works for us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16915" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T17:39:50.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20909" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20913" CreationDate="2015-06-26T20:56:06.483" Score="6" ViewCount="543" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were taking a great family vacation and on the way back, a stranger asked my 6-year old daughter if my girlfriend was her mom. She said &quot;no, this is Ema, who lives with us.&quot; Both of them ended up feeling embarrassed by the situation and a bit hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we're having a family discussion about this. My daughter and Ema both love each other a lot, but she's not a &quot;step-mom&quot; yet, and doesn't want to be called &quot;mom&quot; either to keep the relationship names clear. So Ema just wants to be called &quot;Ema.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this will come up, so we all want to figure out if there are some good names or phrases that avoid &quot;mom&quot; in the description.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion was simply that Bella could say &quot;this is Ema&quot; and leave the relationship ambiguous. After all, it's a stranger, and they don't need to know the details. What matters most is that they care about each other. Suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastActivityDate="2015-06-27T18:00:47.990" Title="Names or Phrases to Use for Step-Mom?" Tags="|step-parents|divorce|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20885" CreationDate="2015-06-26T21:05:39.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a six month old boy, and to me, it sounds like your child may have gas in his stomach, or even some stomach reflux problem (as other responders have pointed out). If it is only gas, patting him while his chest is on your shoulder could relieve the pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a trick that we found extremely helpful: after breastfeeding, keep the man in an upright position (on your shoulder or on your own chest while sitting, etc), for 10 to 15 minutes, and degas him by patting. This calms him down and lets him sleep much more comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14323" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T21:05:39.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20909" CreationDate="2015-06-26T21:18:11.790" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree, it's noone's business. &quot;No, this is Ema&quot; is a perfectly reasonable answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, she can say, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No, this is my dad's girlfriend, Ema.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No, my mom is in Cinncinatti. This is Ema.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No, this is not my mom.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No, this is my future step-mother, Ema.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or, simply,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yes. (Who cares if the stranger is told something that's not correct? Sometimes it's easier to meet their framework. Maybe they were being polite and wanted an introduction, and didn't really care about the details.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, even more simply,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why let anyone make you feel embarrassed or hurt if there is nothing embarrassing or hurtful in the situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, you might want to explore why the two of them actually felt embarrassed and a bit hurt. Technically, Ema &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; be her step-mother if the two of you are ever married, which doesn't mean that your daughter can't continue to call her by her name. Right now, though, she isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should add that in this situation, Bella's feelings should take top priority. Ema is an adult, and can handle her own feelings. You should decide based on what Ema feels most comfortable with, because as you say this is going to happen again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-26T21:18:11.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20909" CreationDate="2015-06-27T18:00:47.990" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter refers to all the women who are friends to me and who play with her and care about her simply as &quot;her friends&quot;. Doesn't matter to her that some are 20 years older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-06-27T18:00:47.990" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20914" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-28T00:25:31.847" Score="9" ViewCount="9940" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 19 and have a 16-year-old sister. When I was laying on my bed minding my own business, my sister, who was still angry over something, came over and bit my hand. Like really bit my hand, which left teeth marks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at my wits' end! I can't figure out what I should do about the biting.  I've looked online for help but no one seems to be having this problem. She has been known to bite me when she's angry, but then she tries to manipulate me into thinking her biting is okay and I'm the one to blame because I'm older. I can't do anything, to make her understand. I'm the eldest and she the &quot;baby&quot; so my parents won't get involved. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please give me some advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16924" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-07T12:19:14.880" LastActivityDate="2019-05-07T12:19:14.880" Title="How to make my 16-year-old sister stop biting me, when my parents won't get involved?" Tags="|teen|siblings|biting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20914" CreationDate="2015-06-28T10:46:05.797" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your sister has a real problem. This is the kind of behaviour that she should have left behind at preschool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is she violent towards others or just you? If she has more general violence issues then I suggest talking to a professional counsellor or therapist. Your parents ought to be doing this of course, but if they won't then you may have to step in. She is, or soon will be, a legal adult (depending on where you live), and is almost certainly old enough to be considered responsible for criminal assault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is only violent towards you then I suggest talking to your parents again about how you will not tolerate it, and if they won't do anything about it next time then you will move out, call the police (biting is assault, no two ways about it), install a lock on your door and take your meals away from the family, or any other measures you can think of to force your parents to take this seriously. Unless your parents are actually scofflaws then you will probably find threatening to call in the police to haul your sister away in handcuffs will probably make them sit up and pay attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are also probably entitled to use reasonable force in self defence (again, depends where you live). Tell your sister that if she approaches you when she is angry then you will assume you are about to be attacked and will defend yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-06-28T10:46:05.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20914" CreationDate="2015-06-28T17:13:45.177" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I assume that this is just &quot;a thing&quot; between the two of you and she behaves reasonably non-violent against other people. If that's not the case, the answer would be quite different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most likely she does this to get attention and a strong reaction out of you. It may help to respond in a way that doesn't meet her goal and shows that this is kind of silly. There are a few things that you could try, but you need to stay calm and collected&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm sorry to see that you are still biting. I had hoped you have grown out of this by now. Isn't that a bit unusual for a 16-year old?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I understand that you are angry, but I don't understand how biting me helps. Can you explain to me why you are doing this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try humor: Have a snickers bar near by. If she bites: &quot;Here have a snickers if you are that hungry, I still need my hand&quot;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2015-06-28T17:13:45.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20918" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-28T22:30:56.797" Score="1" ViewCount="4653" Body="&lt;p&gt;So, our boy (one half of a set of 6 month old b/g twins) has just recently started his temper tantrums.  He used to be pretty mellow - with his sister having some medical issues where she was more intense.  Now seemingly out of nowhere he'll start crying, a low throaty howl type cry, or general shrieking.  He'll go from nothing to full intensity pretty fast. He doesn't look to be in pain.  Even though he's teething, if we walk in the room he calms down immediately. It seems to be a very loud call for attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In theory we wish we could just wait this out until he grew out of it.  In practice, he does share a room with his sister and wakes her often.  (Payback maybe; she did it to him when she came out of the hospital).  He also keeps himself awake, and we have a vicious cycle of cranky boy keeping himself awake, lack of sleep makes him (and us) cranky, then he keeps himself awake....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know they change often at this age.  It's just that the things they like no longer work and we're not sure how to sooth him.  How common is this, and can we do anything?  If he was older we'd have the &quot;this is not the way to get attention&quot; talk, but he's 6 months...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11952" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2016-12-31T17:13:29.463" LastActivityDate="2020-03-18T18:26:49.557" Title="Shrieking crying 6 month old" Tags="|infant|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20919" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-28T23:01:33.663" Score="23" ViewCount="17322" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, who is currently 9 years of age, tells me that life is absolutely meaningless and that &quot;we're all here to waste time&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he first told me this, I felt both angry and depressed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And no, this is not because I am religious. I am an atheist, but I think his outlook on life is detrimental.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From an even younger age, teachers and I myself have observed that he is very intelligent, mature and highly interested in mathematics and physics since an early age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that I think is leading him to believe that life is meaningless is because he's very anti-social and often teachers tell me that he never talks in class and remains aloof (in his own world). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of his behavioral attributes include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Was a late talker - didn't talk til he was 6.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He spends most of his time alone outside in a forest and the only time I speak with him is when he comes for dinner, breakfast and lunch. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he's home, he rarely talks to me other than on eating occasions. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have been since consequently told that he is &quot;different in a strange way&quot; by many people. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somebody suggested that I give him the internet so he could search around, make friends and other things. He only used it three times and told me that &quot;It's a great place to attain knowledge but other than that, it's horrible.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After this, I consulted a teacher from his school and she told me that I should sit down and talk with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And this is when he told me that life is meaningless. He said, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Look. I know what you are trying to do. I know that you're worried&#xA;  about me. I know that you've been talking to a lot of people about my&#xA;  behaviour. But why do you want me to live my life the way others want?&#xA;  Life, by it's nature, is absolutely meaningless. Imagine yourself to&#xA;  suddenly wake up in a room, knowing of nothing, except the fact that&#xA;  you'll die within the next two hours. Would you attach importance to&#xA;  anything you would do during this period? Ofcourse not! All I know is&#xA;  that I am alive, a son of yours, on a beautiful diverse planet&#xA;  somewhere in the cosmos, and all I am interested is in knowing why did&#xA;  we acquire existence. This may be impossible, but I'd rather pursue&#xA;  the great impossible than spend my life living accordingly to the&#xA;  sentiments of people!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has no friends and nobody that even knows him properly. I feel that he'll go on to acquire mental illnesses as he ages, I don't know why but I don't feel good. Is there anyway to convince my son not to adopt this nihilistic outlook on life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edit #1&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading all of the answers, I decided to convince him to visit a psychologist to be introduced to a society bearing children with &quot;interests similar to his&quot; but he wholeheartedly rejected this and is instead urging for a visit to MIT and spend a hour with some people named &quot;string theorists&quot;. He is saying that he has &quot;formulated five logical alterations of general relativity&quot; but there is a very critical mathematical inconsistency in the fourth. He told me that, &lt;em&gt;&quot;String theory is a lovely marriage of the quantum and macro worlds and is arguably the among finest mathematical achievements we have seen in years, but it's a little bland and most likely a fluff. Since string theorists are great mathematicians, I think they'll help me sort the issue out. But they're likely to be intimidated and even humiliated, psychologically, by my age and won't take me seriously. But it doesn't hurt to try. If that doesn't work, maybe you can assist me in publishing an article in a science journal. And no, as a son, my love for you is inherent but I don't want to meet some snobby know-it-all children. I am not interested.&quot;&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him that I'll take him to MIT next month, but I don't think I can really do that. How will I get the scientists in there to talk to my son? Will they allow it? How can I tell them about this? And above all, what if I can't and how will I tell my son this? He was so happy when I told im I'll take him to MIT. Furthermore, I would like to add that he found out all about physics and mathematics by reading from my husband's vast collection of books. My husband was a mathematician with interest in physics and philosophy as a hobby, and he suffered from schizophrenia in his later life and passed away when my son was five. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16928" LastEditorUserId="16928" LastEditDate="2015-06-29T22:27:09.227" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T11:27:31.957" Title="My 9 year old son regards life as meaningless" Tags="|discipline|social-development|anxiety|personality|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="23" ClosedDate="2015-06-29T23:48:48.417" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20920" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-28T23:56:01.190" Score="3" ViewCount="248" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3 nieces. Two are twins aged 4 and one is aged 2. My sister is home schooling them and she has started with so many activities and lessons for them in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problem falls when she takes them to a weekly playschool. It's one of those play group schemes where the parent can stay in the building and talk with our mums/dads and the girls get to run around and play with others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The girls however are very attached to their mother. They lack confidence in running around or taking initiative to play with toys; I can't even go for a toilet break or run to the store to get groceries without them getting anxious and crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, they're reserved girls when not with people they know. But they have been going to this centre for over a year now and I just wanted some tips and directions on what activities I can do so they can start exploring!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16929" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T21:47:04.653" Title="How can I encourage my home schooled children to be more confident in the open?" Tags="|pre-schooler|daycare|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T00:11:28.377" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulations - your son has discovered nihilism at the age of nine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is - how would you react if an adult you knew and cared about made such a speech?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Personally&lt;/em&gt; I'd find it an interesting conversation to have, to which I would probably disagree with their position thoroughly. My answer to the nihilist question is 'Life is to be enjoyed, and personally I like to make the world a better place, to leave that as a legacy. Even if life is meaningless, we can still enjoy it'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like there are two issues here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How do &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; deal with your son having these ideas? I suggest getting educated in philosophy so you can discuss them in a constructive manner.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How do you foster your son's philosophical interests, so he can develop more sophisticated ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer to both of these questions, is to read and learn about philosophical ideas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A starting point I would always recommend, is reading &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0374530718&quot;&gt;Sophie's World&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, which is a fictional story that explores various philosophical ideas. It's a very interesting read. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine there are also some very interesting talks on YouTube or Podcasts you could listen to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A third issue is your son's apparent introversion. I would suggest taking him to a child psychologist is probably a good idea. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11724" LastEditorUserId="11724" LastEditDate="2015-06-29T03:28:18.763" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T03:28:18.763" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20920" CreationDate="2015-06-29T01:56:53.930" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most likely they just need time.  My daughter was very much like that at age four, to the point where she wouldn't speak a single word to anyone the entire time.  She is now five and a half, and you would never be able to tell she used to be that way.  Some kids just take a little longer than others, especially when they spend most of their time with their families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T01:56:53.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T05:10:38.807" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh my GOD!&#xA;Your son is terrific. He is 1 in a million. Don't push him for anything(at least for now). First delve into his mind and &quot;study&quot; all the things he thinks. If you want to have conversation with him, you are gonna have get into his mindset. First of all, believe what he said is true then question him seriously about the statements and their implications.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is gonna be a scientist in MIT or Stanford. Provide him with books and resources he needs or demands or finds interesting.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can understand this because I too share your son's thoughts and I have only 3 friends and rarely talk to them. I also spend time talking to myself alone about the world and existence. Nobody understands me either. I consider the world meaningless somewhat. But I am mature and can understand what you are trying to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16930" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T05:10:38.807" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T06:54:19.723" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take him to a psychologist. Not because he has a disorder, but because he is highly intelligent and both you and he need to learn how to deal with this gift.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son needs peers who share his intelligence. I don't know where you live, but any psychologist worth the name knows of local organizations that help highly intelligent children socialize with other highly intelligent children and find for them the special teaching that they need. Where I live, there is a special school for highly intelligent children. If such a school does not exist, your son could skip some classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone – no matter if they are alcoholics or gay or highly intelligent – is relieved once he finds others who are like him. That is the single most important experience for anyone who is &quot;different&quot;. The fact that you can talk to someone who knows how you feel is healing in and of itself. And making friends and having people that are interested in the same things will make him happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not send him to the internet unsupervised. He might be highly intelligent, but he still lacks the experience and maturity to deal with some of the more dangerous aspects of the net. There are places where nihilistic people gather and encourage each other in their negativity. Some of this turns to crime, some to suicide or drugs. Despite his intelligence, your son probably needs some kind of social life, and the lack of adequate peers makes him vulnerable, and his negative attitude makes him even more vulnerable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if life is ultimately meaningless (which I think it is), you can still have fun with it. My argument to your son's argument is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you have two hours to live, why would you actively want to be miserable during those two hours? Purely from a logic point of view that seems like a stupid decision. You'll be dead long enough and there is no need to act dead before you die. Your body feels good if you provide it with tasty food. So quite obviously the fact that your body will eventually die, does not prevent it from experiencing pleasure. The same is true for the mind. All you need to do is find pleasant experiences for your mind. &lt;strong&gt;It is meaningless that life is meaningless.&lt;/strong&gt; Life is what you make of it. You can choose to eat sand and feel awful. Or you can choose to eat (whatever tastes great to you) and feel well. I understand that with everyone being different from you and doing things that bore you, you might not know what kind of &quot;mental food&quot; you would enjoy. So maybe we can try to find kids who are like you and maybe you'll enjoy their company. It will cost you nothing to try, and you can go back to being miserable if you find that that's what you prefer. (Well, obviously you shouldn't say that verbatim ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him autobiographies of other gifted people. Or do an internet research and find adults alive today who had been gifted children. Some have had difficult lives, others have found happiness. Show your son the adults and how they are not unhappy but have found something to do with their talent. Maybe some example of what your son might make of his gift will give him a perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But most of all you all seem to be completely overwhelmed by the situation and need to get some professional support to help you out of it. It is common that highly intelligent children are depressed, but they quickly become happy once they find the appropriate peers and a schooling that addresses their talents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A psychologist will test your son and find out what his special talents and what his weaknesses are. With this understanding he will help you tackle the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read the section &quot;Social and emotional issues&quot; in this Wikipedia article: &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual_giftedness&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual_giftedness&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reply to your edit:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Visit the webpage of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://web.mit.edu/physics/research/npt/areas.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MIT Department of Physics&lt;/a&gt;. Scroll down to the section &quot;String Theory&quot;. Follow the links to the webpages of the people listed there. Contact one of them (maybe a native speaker would be best) by email and explain your situation. Don't write a novel, but do include some of the same detail as you did in your question here, explain your son's development, his behavior, your concern and include the quotes from your son. If you don't hear back from that person within a handful of days, they are on holiday or abroad (or not the right person for you), so contact another person. (Don't write to all of them at once.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I work at a university, and many of my friends are academics in different fields, among them physicists. I can vouch that most of these people are highly social and very friendly and will certainly make time for an hour to meet with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The people at MIT are people.&lt;/strong&gt; They, too, have families and friends. I would be extremely surprised if no-one there would want to meet your son, especially since he might have real talent in their field.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But do not expect an immediate solution. That talk will help you to get feedback on the level of his abilities (make sure you have a few minutes with that person without your son, to get an honest assessment) and for your son to learn what I described above: that life can be fun &lt;em&gt;through&lt;/em&gt; his talents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But since the laws of your country probably don't allow your son to skip school and enroll at MIT right away – or, as Steven Gubkin pointed out in his comment above, your son might overestimate his own abilities –, you still need a strategy. If your son is not willing to see a psychologist (which I can understand), find one yourself or find whatever organization there is to help giften children in your area (or nationwide) and contact them and go there alone. Your son is not the first of his kind, and these people will have some practical ideas for the next steps you and your son can take. (If you chose to see a psychologist, don't visit some random psychologist. Call them and ask who they would recommend in your situation. Or contact your local university's psychology department.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are programs for giften children to visit university while still going to school, or there are special schools or after school activities, and these organizations will know the steps for you to take to get your son to where he will flourish. For you and your son to understand which of the many possible options are best, a psychological assessment will be necessary. You can explain to your son that this does not mean that anyone will want to push him from the path he envisions for himself, but to help him find the best approach to get on that path. Many professionals make use of tests to understand themselves better and better be able to manage themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he is still nine, emotionally, so you need to be the mother and nudge him a bit, if he is afraid or disinterested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Schizophrenia is related to high intelligence. For example, the twin of a highly intelligent person has schizophrenia more often than that of persons of average intelligence, and vice versa. The fate of your husband, who probably was highly intelligent as well, makes it important that you also consider the medical and psychiatric implications of high intelligence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be very happy if you would come back and let us know how this all goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T11:27:31.957" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T11:27:31.957" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20926" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20930" CreationDate="2015-06-29T08:27:21.807" Score="9" ViewCount="85470" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is 3 years old. I want to know which is the best way to stop breastfeeding? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She cries and fights with her mother if her mother refuses to breastfeed her. We also found that it also helps her to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3366" LastEditorUserId="11724" LastEditDate="2015-07-03T06:44:02.080" LastActivityDate="2017-07-17T07:36:51.823" Title="What is the best way to stop breast feeding a 3 year old?" Tags="|toddler|breastfeeding|weaning|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20927" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T08:28:24.343" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Life is, indeed, meaningless. There's nothing wrong with your kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was just like him - I had zero friends and didn't like talking to anyone. Then I gradually began to become more social, and now, in my mid-thirties, I have friends begging to hang out with me every single day of the week. Life is wonderful - but yeah, still meaningless overall. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about him not having friends. He'll be really depressed sometimes, but we all get that way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16934" LastEditorUserId="3602" LastEditDate="2015-06-29T11:55:31.620" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T11:55:31.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T09:37:53.850" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Show him Star Trek, the original series (Kirk, Spock, McCoy &amp;amp; c.). From episode 1 on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, if there's a simple way to communicate optimism, inclusion, love for science and empathy for other beings, it is this sci-fi show. Brilliant as he is, he will surely appreciate the ongoing debate between rationality (Spock) and passion (McCoy), and the capability to take strong positions in the most adverse times (Kirk).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life may start meaningless, but it can be a beautiful adventure nonetheless. And if you just share a little bit of your adventure, you have already found a meaning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying this as a parent, but rather as a guys that was pretty like him at his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16938" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T09:37:53.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20926" CreationDate="2015-06-29T09:48:20.463" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife stopped breastfeeding when our daughter was 3. She did it by repeating often the whole month before she turned 3 that when she will be 3, she will be older, and that she will stop breastfeeding. Bigger childs don't drink breast milk, that's part of the growing-up process, at by the time our daughter was 3, she perfectly understood that. Actually, for several weeks before her birthday, she kept repeating when breastfeeding that soon she will be 3 years old and that she will not drink from breast anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, our approach was basically to turn it into a good thing, about growing-up, and linked it with the particular moment of her birthday, so that it is clear when breastfeeding would stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T09:48:20.463" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T10:49:07.343" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Color me skeptical as well. &lt;strong&gt;The son didn't talk until six&lt;/strong&gt; — presumably that was an ordeal, but this post reads like the mother is considering all of this for the first time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting aside my doubt. Sure, life is ultimately meaningless. You still have to engage with the world. There's still joy to be found. Which your son already appears to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, your son is only nine. Don't let him call the shots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't get to decide now who he's going to be for the rest of his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's your responsibility to give him the opportunity to grow and change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned, get him out there trying new things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16939" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T10:49:07.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T11:36:33.350" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Life is only meaningless if you require that it should be meaningful for something that trancends human life and humanity, like a god. Re-define meaning as the chosen and self-determined meaning of your own life and it's suddenly meaningful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son's example with the 2-hour room is a bad one, since life isn't two hour, and we have a past, and it's not just &quot;a room&quot;. In reality, you do attach meaning to things, if you prefer anything in life instead of anything else, you do attach meaning to it. Like all nihilist philosophers, your son his letting is depressed mental state influence his analysis. I agree with the other posters, in that you should find people on your sons mental level, being special in his way isn't fun, it's no wonder he has that outlook on life, even if he's wrong.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Had your son been older and more mature, I would have recommended Nietzsche, a philosopher who made the godless universe his own challenge. Nietzsche was wrong about many things, but he turned out to be an optimist. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life, for you and me, and for humanity as a whole, is probably finite, that means that any possible meaning is finite. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on your personal nature, you will find different things meaningful, for me, being creative and helping others in their lives feels meaningful - I could die happily if I knew I had made some difference to humanity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11730" LastEditorUserId="11730" LastEditDate="2015-06-29T11:45:25.777" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T11:45:25.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20933" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-29T12:42:58.240" Score="12" ViewCount="28131" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner is an avid trail runner and before I was pregnant I didn't mind getting out too. At the very least I hope to do some brisk trail walking with baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd assumed to run with a baby you had to use a &quot;jogging&quot;-style stroller/pram. But I just read in another question it's possible to run with baby in a sling? Is this correct? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is &quot;safe&quot; for using a baby-backpack? I know you can walk in these, but can you run?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there age limitations?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally I'll be able to chuck my partner outside with baby tied to them if one or both of them are sooky with instructions to knock each other out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: Looking for answers that provide options as to what &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; possible and what people's experiences have been, rather than flat out &quot;&lt;em&gt;No, don't&lt;/em&gt;&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Running&quot; in my question refers to the full spectrum of ambulation &gt; walking and I was hoping it would be understood that running involving baby would mean slow even careful jog or trot, by people who are regular, experienced runners. Obviously sprinting and similar is just silly and seems obviously dangerous, I sincerely doubt that we'll realistically have the energy for anything vigorous for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16173" LastEditorUserId="16173" LastEditDate="2019-01-27T10:12:45.690" LastActivityDate="2019-01-27T10:12:45.690" Title="When/how is it safe to go running with baby?" Tags="|infant|safety|age-appropriate|sports|family-activities|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="20934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20926" CreationDate="2015-06-29T12:44:15.530" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife just started the process.&#xA;We had some problem to put my son to sleep: he would fall asleep only sucking, and wake up couple of times during night for milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day my wife was away and I had to put him to sleep alone... Took me 1 hour, so I decided we had to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been quite easy actually: the first night it took again a good hour and he cried a lot, but we resisted and with some cuddles and a change of dress (he got sweaty) we finally managed. Next day we just said &quot;Good night&quot; and he slept.&#xA;He even stopped waking up for milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife still gives him milk in the morning to help the transition and because he breast is sore: it need to get used to the new &quot;prodution&quot; schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it seems cruel, and I was really sorry to see my son cry, but sometimes they're just having a tantrum and once they understand they won't get what they want they'll stop. And I guarantee they will not hate you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my suggestion is to start putting her to sleep without breastfeeding, maybe giving her some cow milk or drinking yoghurt (my son prefers the latter) 15-20 minutes before. Then gradually stop breastfeeding during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11222" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T12:44:15.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20933" CreationDate="2015-06-29T13:28:31.320" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I checked with my girlfriend, who is a baby-wearing consultant, and she says running with a baby in a baby-backpack or sling is a &lt;strong&gt;bad idea&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies do not have the muscular strength to absorb the impact shocks from running and it can cause them serious injury, no matter how tightly you wrap the baby up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While walking long distance is fine and older children (1,5 years or older so they have enough muscles to handle it) might enjoy short sprints, there are no wearing techniques that will protect a baby from the stress put on their bodies if you go running longer distances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really want to running, it is encouraged you take a stroller instead. And when baby-wearing consultants start suggesting you use a stroller, you know it's serious ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if you just stick to a walking pace, there are no problems. That's what baby backpacks and slings are designed for, and babies will comfortably sleep in them for hours while you are out walking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="13196" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T08:07:53.253" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T08:07:53.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20933" CreationDate="2015-06-29T13:36:29.533" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have done a lot of hiking with our baby, but not trail running.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I think you could, in theory, run with a backpack, it's likely to mean a lot of jiggling for the baby. They aren't designed to be so restrictive - the shoulder straps have a few cm gap above baby's shoulders for comfort and mobility, which would mean a few cm jump each time you take a step. Whether it's safe or not, I would recommend asking your pediatrician. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby might not let your partner get very far anyway - I'm pretty sure our baby would find the first couple minutes of running fun, but then would start complaining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some info from a blog about trail running:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It is true that every day, my daughter and I were out exploring nature with her in a pack.  But run…well, honestly, I would run every once and a while, for a very short distance, just to make her laugh. She would love the rhythm and bounce of it.  But can I recommend truly going for a run with a child in a backpack? No I can’t.  I think it would stress not only the carrier’s system, but also expose the child to danger.  Carrying a 20-50 pounds of anything makes it more difficult to pick up your feet, and tripping while running becomes a real issue.  Tripping on your own, so what, you scrape your knee and maybe bloody your hands…but tripping when you have a child on the front or back of you???  Disaster...as well as irresponsible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-&lt;a href=&quot;http://kamisemick.blogspot.com/2011/02/born-to-runwith-childin-backpack.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kamisemick.blogspot.com/2011/02/born-to-runwith-childin-backpack.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Falling is a concern no matter what the speed - but I think it's more likely if you are walking very fast or running. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby wrap would be a better choice, since the baby is really attached to &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; rather than to the straps of the pack. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In response to your question about age limits - the manufacturers give guidelines, but we found that the recommended ages overlap a lot and it comes down to comfort (for you and the baby). For example, we started hiking with a sling (moby wrap) when our baby was 2 weeks old, transitioned to a front pack (ergobaby) at 4 months, and now we use an Osprey paco baby backpack.  The ergobaby still works for short trips, but on long hikes it pulls your shoulders too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The backpack won't be of use until your baby's spine is strong enough to support his/her head in motion, when s/he is sitting very well independently. We tried it at about 7 months, and it wasn't so comfortable for her - again at 12 months it was fine, now at 15 months she loves her backpack so much that we have to hide it or she'll want to get in it immediately!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you choose, I'm sure your baby (and you and your partner) will benefit from being in the great outdoors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T13:36:29.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20926" CreationDate="2015-06-29T13:53:06.903" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding is very good for children.  According to the World Health Organisation, the average age, worldwide, at which children stop breastfeeding is 4.7 years.  So it is not unhealthy for children to still be breastfeeding at 3 years: she's not even near the average.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, if you want to move her away from breastfeeding, try to introduce more and more solid food into her diet.  Try to get her to feed herself, rather than spoonfeeding her.  This can be a slow process but a child of her age should grasp it (no pun intended) pretty quickly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually I think she will stop relying on breastfeeding for nutrition, and perhaps just use it for comfort.  You should not rush to remove this source of comfort from her, as that is unkind.  Instead, perhaps slowly replace it with cuddles which don't involve actual sucking on your nipple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing to bear in mind here is that your child's comfort and health is the most important thing.  Any changes you make should be made primarily with kindness and with love.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13267" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-01T11:13:35.413" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T11:13:35.413" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T14:05:11.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/20923/4054&quot;&gt;with pulp_fiction's answer&lt;/a&gt; - this kid is just a very introverted individual. Don't panic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to offer him lots of opportunities to socialize, but do it on his terms. He like science and math? What about clubs or camps. Take him to a meetup at the Smithsonian. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another question is does he like to game? He kind of sounds like a gamer. Try taking him to a comic book shop or playing some board games with him. Intelligent individuals love strategy, its a great mind exercise. This could be a great way for you two to connect without worrying about what to talk about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly suggest &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.starrealms.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Star Realms&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://dnd.wizards.com/products/tabletop-games/board-games/lords-waterdeep&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Lords of Waterdeep&lt;/a&gt;, they are really hot right now and a lot of fun to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T14:10:26.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20940" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-29T14:34:05.230" Score="35" ViewCount="40744" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 16-year-old son says the most awful things to me. I feel he is deliberately trying to upset/provoke me constantly. For example, last night at the dinner table he said,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I am not going to try to get into a good college because if I got into a good college - that would make you happy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is very oppositional. I feel that anything that I want - he wants the opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to encourage him to go out with friends, but he consciously refuses to have friends, because it would make me happy to see him with friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to encourage him to go to the gym with me, because I think it would help him with the stress of school and give him energy. He refuses and actually tries to overeat. He tells me that he wants to become obese and then comes 3 inches in front of my face and says &quot;I want to gain a whole bunch of weight then nobody will want me around.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This behavior has been going on for at least four years. I remember bringing treats to his 7th grade class to celebrate his birthday and he refused to eat any or participate with the class. He just sat there with a smirk on his face the whole time. Later on he let me know that he knew that I would be upset and that is why he acted that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I keep thinking this is a phase, but it feels like it has gone on too long. He is sabotaging himself to spite me. I just don't understand the logic. I really don't understand why he has it out for me when I just want him to be happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16807" LastEditorUserId="6516" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T20:47:56.463" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T18:26:14.133" Title="Why does my 16-year-old hate me?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="17" CommentCount="22" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T14:38:08.957" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like your son, I was very interested in deep philosophical questions from a young age --my own children are the same way.  That's just how some people are wired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he gets older, he'll probably become interested in the vast treasury of literature that composes the philosophical tradition.  However, no less an authority than Plato warns against children studying philosophy too early.  He states that it can lead them towards moral relativism and nihilism -- to which your son seems to already have a predisposition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would you be open to your son exploring membership in a religious community?  The core of religion is finding meaning in a world that can often seem meaningless.  I know that many of the most visible religious movements are associated with intolerance and anti-intellectualism, but there are quite a lot of religious persons and groups with more progressive ideals --consider the current Pope, for example.  And there is a rich tradition of religious intellectualism and philosophical inquiry as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T14:38:08.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20933" CreationDate="2015-06-29T14:40:00.793" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that running with a child in a baby-bagpack or sling is possibly dangerous to child's health. Our body is kept in position mainly because of our muscles, not bones themselves. If our muscles disappeared, we would be basically rag dolls with some hard parts inside. Actually, that's more or less what a newborn is. Except that the hard parts - bones - are actually not yet that hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you have to run with your baby, use a special stroller designed for running. They are usually more stable and more padded inside so that shaking is not so severe and tripping very unlikely - though you should choose a rather smooth path for your run anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T14:40:00.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T15:54:59.157" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have an astonishingly bright child for 9 years old.  In fact, he appears to be so bright, that my response is not one that I would tell a &quot;normal&quot; 9 year old, but rather one that I would tell to an intelligent adult who can make up their own mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went through a similar phase myself, except I only came across it in my late 20s, rather than at 9.  I found it as a side tangent in my search for truth, and it sounds like your son has come to it in a similar way.  I had sought truth, but found that the thing I was truly looking for was closer to &quot;meaning.&quot;  It sounds like your son has sought something, himself, and also found that what he was searching for is closer to &quot;meaning.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The resolution I came to was one of the imperfection of my own knowledge.  I do not know that life is meaningless.  I do not know that life is meaningful.  This created a great deal of strife in my life, trying to reconcile the two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, I changed the question I was after from &quot;Is life meaningful?&quot; to &quot;What is the meaning of life?&quot; with a recognition that the answer may very well be &quot;it has no meaning.&quot;  That took the question away from a binary yes-or-no situation into a deeper and more profound search.  In doing so, I found the most effective phrasing in my life to be &quot;Striving for meaning in life can never have less meaning than failing to strive for meaning.&quot;  And, despite his apparent age, it sounds like your son may have come to the same conclusion.  However, there are many ways to strive, and you and your son may be able to work together to find the best ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point, I found an important transition.  By changing the phrasing as I did, I found that the issue had shifted from a question of truth to one of actions.  I point out strongly that I &lt;em&gt;elected&lt;/em&gt; to make that shift, switching from wondering about meaning to striving after meaning.  It is not a 100% logical jump, so if your son questions this path, it is in his right to do so.  However, I do gather from reading between the lines of the paragraph that he may have already made this jump.  If so, knowledge of the path I chose may continue to be useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From this point, the great question is how does one strive for meaning?  After all there, are a hojilion ways to go about it.  However, it occurred to me,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Others may have discovered something I did not, and it may be&#xA;  monumentally hard to teach meaning with words. I may lack the&#xA;  information at the present moment to discover it on my own; it may be&#xA;  something that I must experience with others.  Or it may not, who&#xA;  knows?  If I live my life the way others want me to live it, I may&#xA;  fail to discover the meaning on my own.  If I isolate myself in the&#xA;  search for meaning, I may fail to discover the meaning due to lack of&#xA;  opportunities to experience it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But wait, those two extremes do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt;&#xA;  have to be exclusive.  In life, there are slivers of opportunity where&#xA;  the life others seek for me coincides with the internal search I need&#xA;  for my self.  In such cases, I do not have to choose between them. &lt;strong&gt;I&#xA;  can choose both.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then, I have found that not every situation affords a &lt;em&gt;perfect&lt;/em&gt; balance between experiencing the world around me, and studying meaning internally.  However, I have found that such situations arise more often as you strive for them harder.  It becomes a balance, but its a balance &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; choose.  And, more importantly, I update the balance all the time.  The balance was &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more introverted when I started down this line, concentrating almost entirely on making sense of what potential meaning I have found so far.  As of late, I have &quot;discovered&quot; that others actually had far more clues as to the meaning than I had given them credit for, and the world actually contained a remarkable amount of them!  By balancing the two positions, I got the opportunity to change that balance as I learned and matured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot claim this is a &quot;path to meaning.&quot;  All of this starts from a question which accepts the possibility that life is indeed meaningless.  However, I have found, in my life, it has served as a reasonably logical structure within which to build my own search for meaning.  Your son may be able to take this structure, and adapt it to his own search... for I am absolutely positive that no two searches are alike, and he should always make his own search his own.  He should just know that sometimes others are engaging in similar searches, and the search for meaning is a whole lot easier if we can share the load between each other.  Who knows. Maybe we'll even find it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should be incredibly proud of your young son.  When I read his position, it does not have the immaturity which is stereotypically associated with a child.  His stance is one I associate with a fully grown adult who has simply discovered a very troubling question which is not easy to resolve.  If I may try to predict the future (recognizing that such predictions are never fully right), if your son can balance the positions he is grappling with today, at the young age of 9, he has an astonishingly full and beautiful life ahead of him!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a closing, I would like to give a bit of advice.  Your son may have already arrived at this conclusion on his own, in which case it may be nothing more than affirmation for him.  If he has not, this advice may lessen his burden. &lt;strong&gt;Your son does not need to discover the meaning of everything, the reason for all of our existence.  That is too much for nearly anybody's shoulders.  Searching for the meaning of &lt;em&gt;himself&lt;/em&gt; and the reason for &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; existence is sufficient.  The only reason for one to seek understand the meaning of everything, in whole or in part, is because many philosophers have brought their minds to bear on the topic.  It is likely, though not proven, that the clearest path to a meaning for onesself is at the very least tangential to the proposed meaning for everything philosophers have communally wrought.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to you both.  I look forward to what his voice can bring to the world in the coming decades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastEditorUserId="9043" LastEditDate="2015-06-29T21:30:31.753" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T21:30:31.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T16:20:01.993" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It looks like he came to a reasonable conclusion provided all the information available to him. I am a little alarmed by your statements&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He spends most of his time alone outside in a forest and the only&#xA;  time I speak with him is when he comes for dinner, breakfast and&#xA;  lunch. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;When he's home, he rarely talks to me other than on eating&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  occasions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like your relationship could use some work.  I love spending time with my children, and wish that everyone can experience the joy that comes from spending quality time with their families.  I think you are missing out on a huge opportunity to have a positive effect on his life.  I agree with you that his outlook is quite detrimental, and it is primarily your responsibility to correct this outlook. It seems that he has had a lot of independent learning time, which is not a bad thing at all, but if you want him to learn things that you know or believe, You need to spend more time with him.  He needs to see you applying those principles that you believe, and then he will learn them from you.  I would make sure that the time you spend with him is quality as well. You should focus on having experiences with him that highlight and underline the meaning of life.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14415" LastEditorUserId="14415" LastEditDate="2015-06-29T17:26:22.330" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T17:26:22.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-29T16:43:12.220" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's not a lot to go on here, so let me just throw out a few possibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children sometimes get into a state where it gives them comfort to know that you will love them no matter what.  They test that love by being intentionally provocative.  In a backwards kind of way he may be showing he has confidence in your unconditional love.  Responding as if he had said &quot;I love you&quot; can be very effective in this case.  Just refuse to take it as an insult, and say, &quot;I love you too.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is he just enjoys the reaction.  The response in that case is to deny him the reaction.  Try a deadpan &quot;Ha ha, very funny&quot; instead of flipping out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is that in his mind, you care more about your own happiness than his, and you're just trying to mold him into a perfect son in order to make yourself look good.  Try to reassure him otherwise.  Don't exaggerate his accomplishments to others.  Praise his effort even when he fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is he is hurting you to deflect his own pain.  He might feel bad about his grades, his weight, or his lack of friends, but doesn't want to appear vulnerable.  Just acknowledging his pain without pressuring can help.  &quot;I know it can be lonely without friends.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The worst case possibility is his self-worth is actually tied into opposition to authority, perhaps as the result of his peers or other influences.  I don't really know what to do in that case other than waiting it out, and trying to show him he is hurting himself more than you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be a combination of these things, or something else altogether.  I wish you the best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T16:43:12.220" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20946" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-29T16:43:30.120" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't even say that he hates you. He clearly is very mad about something and I'm guessing he's lashing out at you because you're the closest target and a relatively safe one (as you won't stop loving or taking care of him). Try not to take it personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's worrying that his go-to action to get your attention is self-harm. You should see if his doctor can screen him for depression, as that often starts during the teenage years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7102" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T16:43:30.120" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20947" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-29T17:18:56.337" Score="3" ViewCount="295" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eight year-old son just spent a week at cub scout day camp (home in the evenings), after which he has been lying extensively.  He has had problems with extensive lying &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/10969/644&quot;&gt;before&lt;/a&gt;, but had mostly gotten out of the habit.  He has also backslid before after other week-long social events, such as a family reunion or when his aunt watched him during the day while his sister was in the hospital.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What causes the backsliding behavior, and how can we mitigate it?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T00:09:52.150" Title="Behavior changes after social events" Tags="|behavior|lying|peer-pressure|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20919" CreationDate="2015-06-29T17:58:14.103" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is logically correct. In the absence of a higher purpose or deity, life is indeed meaningless, The only meaning being the meaning that we choose to give it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the meaning you live by is just something you've picked out of the air, something you've made up in your head, then that meaning has no reality at all. I would imagine that your son has noticed this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a view I would have shared with your son at his age. It falls naturally out of atheism. For me it lead to a host of problems. If life is meaningless, then why do anything at all, or why not do anything that you feel like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, developing a faith was a life raft. My advice would be to get him to a church, just once or twice and see how it goes. I recognise this will be an unpopular piece of advice with many here, and that this is a subjective response based on limited evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T17:58:14.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20926" CreationDate="2015-06-29T18:11:51.680" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps unconventional in the US, but my mother-in-law put something bitter (like neem) on her nipple. Her children felt upset for a little while, but lost their appetite for breastmilk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16960" LastEditorUserId="16960" LastEditDate="2015-07-04T16:40:50.567" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T16:40:50.567" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20809" CreationDate="2015-06-29T19:58:57.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried to skip her afternoon nap? Or to put her later in bed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sleeping at 9 pm doesn't sound that bad to me if she still has an afternoon nap, but I do not know how early she wakes up in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter (almost 4 y o as well) goes to bed from 9 pm to 7 am and sometimes has an afternoon nap. I often hear from parents whose kids sleep from 7-7, but she never managed to sleep that much. She doesn't seem to need it either. Maybe this works for your kid as well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16948" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T19:58:57.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20947" CreationDate="2015-06-29T20:07:53.460" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could it be that he's being picked on, bullied, or abused by someone at these events (or picking on someone else) and lying to cover it up? And then lying about everything else, because it trips him back into the habit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16086" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T20:07:53.460" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-29T20:10:54.407" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't forget that the whole point of the teenage years is for a dependent child to transition into their own unique, separate adult!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often this manifests itself in terms of rejection: reject whatever the parents like, reject their rules; make your own, reject their music, their lifestyle choices, religion, chores, food, recommended friends, etc.&#xA;Because during the teenage years a teenager needs to figure out how they're going to manage their own independence.  It's not a happy and easy time, generally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So perhaps you should be asking yourself:  Is my child currently dependent on me, or are they an independent, free spirit but I'm still treating them as a dependent?  Either way, it may be time to open up possibilities that allow them to try things out for themselves.  Let them choose their own after school activities now, when they do chores, what they do with allowance for chores, do their own laundry, help make their own meals, you know, adult things that adults have to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want to step back, and take a look at them and consider what you can &lt;strong&gt;let&lt;/strong&gt; them do to figure out their own adulthood.  In older cultures, that would have happened 3 or 4 years ago, and biologically they are adults &lt;em&gt;already&lt;/em&gt;, but our modern culture is more protective, and sometimes teens chafe at the restrictions that come with a childhood elongated through 16 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not really a &quot;phase&quot;, or if it is, it's the last &quot;phase&quot; that you'll be able to go through with him, because after this he will be an independent adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Won't you be glad of that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="226" LastEditorUserId="226" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T15:47:32.283" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T15:47:32.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20954" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20972" CreationDate="2015-06-29T20:56:32.210" Score="4" ViewCount="1013" Body="&lt;p&gt;Brief history:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Became involved with a young woman, knowing she had a 5 year old daughter. Biological dad was in the picture til daughter was 2-3, and then left the state. Strangled mother while pregnant, does drugs, all around no-good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My fiance (young woman) lived with her parents, and her parents generally raised daughter. When I came into the picture, fiance started coming around me more often and daughter grew to love me. However, there was definitely a noticeable need from daughter to be with grandparents and quite frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We became pregnant and had a beautiful baby boy. Now my family consists of Myself, Mother, Daughter, and son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mother and grandmother are pretty close I would say and whenever the grandmother wants to see daughter, Mother let's her go. This has, in my opinion, gotten a bit out of hand when all summer (2+ months - EVERY weekend) daughter goes to her grandparent's house all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, from her perspective - She was a single child, who inherited a brother. I'm generally gone during the week days working, and she has to fight for her mother's attention with her little brother. But when the grandparent's beckon her, she gets attention from both grandparents and they leave the boy home with us. So she gets undivided attention from two people instead of having to share one person's attention with her brother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my perspective. I don't get much time with either child during the week. My only time to spend with them is on the weekends. I expressed my thoughts to Mother - I don't get to see them. I'm trying to blend this family, but every time I have an inkling of time to spend with them together, she bails and goes and gets that 2 on 1 attention. When we are together we are two peas in a pod and vibe really well. I love her and try and do cool things with her and teach her. I've also bought us a new home that fits all of us with plenty of play room and got a new job to support all of these changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we have another child on the way and I think it's super important for her to stay with us on the weekends. We are essentially making rules for my boy, and making daughter follow them too because now he looks up to her and does what she does. We are holding her accountable which without a doubt is probably a bit harder on her than when she was an only child, because she is constantly being told not to do something for reasons a, b. But we are explaining to her why we are enforcing these rules...we aren't just hushing her and sending her away. We take the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she continues to go away on the weekends I feel like she will become alienated when the new baby arrives. I feel like she will pick up habits of her grandparents instead of habits of our family. I guess I'm curious if I'm being overbearing here...am I wrong to want her to stay with us? I mean sure get out every other weekend and get some time away with your grandparents (who spoil the heck out of her). But the majority of the time should be spent with us...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So another point is I'm the step-father. I feel like if I start enforcing this stuff with her mother, I will be looked at as the bad guy. I don't want to make either party upset, but this weekend for example she was gone from Friday 4pm to Sunday 5pm. I barely saw her at all. I was a bit upset about that. Do I have a right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice is much appreciated. Sorry for the length, but this does require some explanation. Thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE 1: &lt;em&gt;Mother's thoughts&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; - Mother sees things from both perspectives. She has usually allowed daughter to go with grandparents regularly because she, as a child, went to her grandparents regularly. My concern is that her parents didn't really prepare fiance for life and a lot of that fell on my shoulders. So when I raise my concern she sees it and feels deeply for the situation and tries to make adjustments but ends up just telling the grandparents &quot;OP wants to spend more time with daughter so your weekends are cut off&quot; Which ends up making them resent me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update 2: &lt;em&gt;Questions to myself&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;- &#xA;It seems the grandparents have assisted in raising her as some commenters have mentioned. To answer some questions: I do feel like there is a power struggle. I will make house rules, and have a clip down system (taken from her school) so if she's bad three times she will need to go in timeout or whatever fitting punishment at that time. I enforce this. Mother enforces it when I'm gone. When she goes to grandparents she has free reign and no boundaries and comes back with no sense of accountability and does what she wants. Do I feel the need to have control? Yes, I would say I do feel the need to have control. Because of poor choices made in the past, which we are all guilty of, this girl has a void in her heart. I want to have at least a part in making that better, and filling that void as a father figure that loves her mother, and her. Grandparents are coming in as psuedo parent's and when they get two-on-one time it generates momentum in another direction. Then I find myself asking if she even wants to be here? If 9 times out of 10 she chooses to go hang out with them, does she want to live there? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seems general consensus is to seek family counseling, which we will look into but I guess I am looking for some kind of validation here. If I'm invalid in my behavior and thoughts I can change and I will be the change, but I need to know if I'm way off base or if this makes sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4985" LastEditorUserId="4985" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T12:17:23.393" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T14:11:11.773" Title="Step Parent - To be concerned or not to be" Tags="|newborn|step-parents|grandparents|family-activities|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="466" CreationDate="2015-06-29T21:06:13.353" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;With our three year old son,  anytime he used to hit his sibling or someone,  we would demonstrate a Shakespearean style stage drama full of intense agony and pain and callout to him letting him know how much it hurts us when he hurts his sibling.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently toddlers care a lot about their folks and are genuinely concerned to help them put a magic bandaid that fixes the injury.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overtime his hitting has significantly gone down. Albeit now at 3+ age, he know too well about the theatrical talent that runs in the family; so we just time him out.. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6430" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T21:06:13.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20920" CreationDate="2015-06-29T21:47:04.653" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not unusual behaviour for younger children. My 3 year old sometimes cries when she's dropped off at play-school, but is generally fine a while afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children often cry when the parent leaves, but usually get over it pretty quickly. I would suggest leaving, then watching through a crack in the door for 5 minutes or so to see how they get on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T21:47:04.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7296" CreationDate="2015-06-29T21:54:29.577" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Might I suggest a good, age appropriate Bible. The Jesus Storybook Bible is excellent. You'll enjoy reading it. It's the whole Bible condensed to 122 pages with pictures, and each story forms part of the big Jesus rescue mission arc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter can then make her own mind up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2015-06-29T21:54:29.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T00:58:52.080" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give you is to take care of your own feelings about all of this first. While you're doing that, you can help him to behave like a better human being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I try to encourage him to out with friends... (result: opposition)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  I try to encourage him to go to the gym with me... (result: opposition) &#xA;  I really don't understand why he has it out for me when I just want him to be happy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm sure of is that this is terribly, terribly painful for you. I'm pretty confident that you did not torment him as he was growing up and this is just payback. You were most likely a loving mom (and still are), yet he is treating you with openly hurtful disrespect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After he passes a thorough physical exam, take him to a therapist (ask around for a good adolescent therapist) and hope for the best. You can't change who he is; you can't love him into being a nicer person. You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; get a specialist involved to help him work through his issues. This has been going on for years. That's long enough. It's time for a professional to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You did &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; do anything to deserve this, and it's &lt;strong&gt;not your fault&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do is learn to disengage, learn to take charge of your own emotions so that he can't manipulate them, and learn to set appropriate boundaries. This will take time and a lot of work on your part, but it will be worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting boundaries might be worked out with his therapist initially, since you are probably not highly skilled in this area yet. You can't control his thoughts, but you can set consequences for rude and manipulative behavior. In doing this, as painful as it might be, remember that your goal here is not to get along nicely, it's to teach him that in the real world, where he will soon enough start spending the rest of his life, certain aggressive behaviors have consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read. Start looking now for good articles on adolescent oppositional behavior, oppositional defiant disorder (see if this fits), and setting boundaries. Ask your therapist and his, once established, for recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting boundaries/consequences doesn't mean you don't love him; it's teaching him what healthy relationships look like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't let this go on for two more years until he goes away to college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T00:58:52.080" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T03:49:14.360" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;he is a teen, that sounds about normal for a teen. Teenagehood doesn't last forever, so that will slowly change as he matures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are growing into adults so they hate the parents they are still dependant on. , they feel the need to symbolically kill the parent to sever the umbilical cord.  It is only after the separation, like by going to college, that things will start to become normal. When the cord is severed, he won’t feel his existence threatened by an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He needs to define himself outside of your influence, so let him be. Bringing into the mix therapists or advice about his friends or lifestyle will be seen as an infringement of his existence so he will naturally lash out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 16 not 8 years old, so leave him alone, he needs to grow and you seem to be smothering him. Yes, you are the victim of his growing pangs, but he also seems to be the victim of your over-mothering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;@Adam Davis wrote&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;His behavior is abusive. Yes, children can abuse parents. You are in an abusive relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, this is an abusive relationship, but for both of them. The main difference is that the mom can complain about it at nauseum and the teen can’t. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I joined the parenting SE because this Q appeared in the Hot Network Q, and i was like: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;No ! Not yet anther mom complaining about her teenager’s attitudes and seeking comfort.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What about the teen, he is a victim too and his situation doesn’t generate sympathy. I admit i never raised teens, I can only relate to being one. I remember i was so often mad, because my mom would complain to everyone about my behavior and gather sympathy. I was always cast in the role of the villain and resented her even more for that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teens that rebel and need to define themselves is an entirely natural thing. there are varied intensity to the rebelion. @Adam Davis your reaction is like parents who drug any over-active child with ADD medication as if being a turbulent child was a sickness. it is done stricly for the parents peace of mind and is not in the child best interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the mom here should be glad it is only psychological cruelty and not physical abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also; since there is no mention of a father, one can assume that the father is not in the picture. The teen could be also blaming the mother because of a divorce, or an absentee father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16983" LastEditorUserId="16983" LastEditDate="2015-07-01T23:49:22.457" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T23:49:22.457" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20960" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-06-30T06:04:12.393" Score="5" ViewCount="546" Body="&lt;p&gt;As many other parents, I have my own ideas of rules/expectations of my kids around their future sexual activity (from obvious - such as no sex with anyone who was not negatively tested for STDs and has no other untested partners - to more subjective, such as minimum age of engaging in it - to even more complex, such as &quot;I will consider you mature enough to make your own decisions around your sex life when you reach milestones X, Y and Z in your demonstrated behavior and development&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Leaving aside the angle of whether it's realistic for me to even have such rules/expectations, or hope to enforce them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the age recommended by the experts &lt;strong&gt;when I should state what those rule/expectations are&lt;/strong&gt;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My worries are that if they are laid out too early, the kids would just tune them out as &quot;cooties!&quot; or &quot;boring!&quot; topic, and if too late,... well it will be too later, because they already engaged in behavior I would rather they don't, or at least would internalize contradictory mentality due to peer pressure and popular &quot;culture&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the purposes of this answer, assume that no matter what that recommended age is, the kids are fully sex-educated, know about STDs, anatomy, birth control, and - in a theoretical way - any other pertinent facts of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-09T21:05:12.937" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T21:05:12.937" Title="At what age is it suggested to enunciate specific expectations regarding sexual activity?" Tags="|sex-education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20961" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20974" CreationDate="2015-06-30T06:48:58.147" Score="12" ViewCount="1133" Body="&lt;p&gt;I plan on becoming a foster parent after being adopted myself. However, I went through a lot of abandonment issues that my parents didn't see as I had changed hands a few times before I was adopted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I ease the foster/adopted child's abandonment issues?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16571" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T15:23:27.363" Title="Adoption/Foster Care: How should I deal with abandonment issues?" Tags="|emotional-well-being|adoption|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T07:15:11.740" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion you are trying to organize his time and he is feeling a bit in danger. Maybe you want him to be happy &lt;em&gt;too much&lt;/em&gt;, not allowing him find his own way? Being in opposition is safe for him, because he sees that he has something on which he can decide or control, even if this is not good for him or it is just a very tiny thing. Maybe he feels in some way powerful in this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think he does not hate you, because in his age there is an opposition parents vs. friends and if he does not seek friends, it can mean that he accepts his life with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, you do not give us any signs of your reaction. Does he say something and the talk is over? Do you give him a response? Maybe you begin to cry or shout? Maybe you show yourself as a weak person who is afraid of him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion the very first step should be to calm down. Smile to him. Give him small choices in life (&quot;What do you want for breakfast?&quot;). If there is something he is interested in (but he wouldn't leave behind just to make you upset), show his interest, praise him. Ask questions, but do not help without being asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that a male adult (his father, uncle, your friend) could help. Maybe he feels ashamed to go to a gym with his mother (not a girlfriend), but he would with a male?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe this adult man could find a common language with him. He could then suggest &quot;hey, let's do something nice to your mom&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest to allow him making mistakes. If he says &quot;I won't go to college&quot;, just say &quot;OK, it's your choice. In my opinion you will then not earn much money, but if it makes you happy...&quot;. If he says &quot;I want to be fat because I want to upset you&quot; respond with &quot;It does not upset me. I will love you whatever you do. But it is your life, you will be weaker, other people will laugh seeing you trying to do something&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also suggest choosing a good moment and asking &quot;Why do you want to upset me? Does it make you happy? Why?&quot;. Don't leave whatever he says. This may lead to a difficult talk, but I think he needs it, but he does not know how to start. Whatever he says, you should respect it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16990" LastEditorUserId="16990" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T10:45:22.067" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T10:45:22.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14981" CreationDate="2015-06-30T07:25:22.830" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Away from the rational answers, he may be sensitive.  Teens are usually much more perceptive, the noises and things he feels may be real, for a certain sense of real. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the question may be wether to accept the things around him as real and not fear them, or pretend they don’t exist till he doesn’t hear/feel them anymore.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quote: “every time a child says, 'I don't believe in fairies,' there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16983" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T07:25:22.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2015-06-30T08:59:46.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was reading some of the (much) earlier posts and something someone said about social anxiety struck a chord with me. This really reminds me of my situation years ago - before I had a clue what social anxiety was and how it affected my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Social Anxiety (for me, at least) is an error in the triggering of fight-or-flight response. Normally this kicks in when something terrifying and life threatening happens. In a Social Anxiety sufferer it kicks in at the thought of interacting with people. Imagine your biggest fear, really think about it until it scares you, and then imagine you feel that every time you have to pick up a phone or go and see someone about something. Double it if there's even the slightest change the conversation may lead to any form of conflict/disagreement. It is more than just a lack of confidence, it is blind fear and panic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would explain (but not excuse!) why he lied to you about getting in to Manchester Uni. The thought of the possible conflict from letting you down was worse, in the moment, than the lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ended up getting involved with drugs, cannabis at first - which calmed me down for a few years until it started making me paranoid - and then ecstasy/MDMA - which made me able to talk without fear for the whole evening. But eventually I realised I was masking the problem and decided to sort my life out. I've been clean &amp;amp; sober for almost 10 years. I ended up taking an emergency CBT intervention a few years ago after a panic attack in a restaurant on holiday, and that was the best thing I ever did. I was lucky and had a good, understanding counsellor who helped me work through my issues and give me the tools I needed to help myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Social Anxiety will never be totally gone. I still get that twinge of panic when the phone rings or I have an appointment with an authority figure, but now I have the tools to deal with it in a rational and calm way. This has opened up my life to new possibilities I would have shied away from years ago. I now run my own business, have a wife and beautiful daughter and could not be happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this isn't really answering the question but it may help with what I perceive to be your son's main issues.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16991" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T08:59:46.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T10:37:44.680" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there is a very good chance that your son does all of that because he feels that you are controlling his life. He does not hate you - he hates his lack of independance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At his age, he desperately wants to be something other than just &quot;Julie's son&quot;, and it looks like he's gotten into the mental habit of feeling that whenever he does something you approve of, he loses a chance to be his own person instead of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, what will help is letting him have his own space (or time) where he makes his own decisions and deals with others and you are not involved &lt;em&gt;at all&lt;/em&gt;, not as an observer, not even as someone who hears about what happened afterwards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therapy/counseling could help, as could having an open discussion that acknowledges this problem and where you encourage him to think of what he wants &lt;em&gt;for himself&lt;/em&gt; for his future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it's going to be very difficult to get past what has become apparently a very strongly ingrained habit, as your son will at first resist all these efforts as yet another &quot;I just want the best for you!!&quot; attempt to control his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1939" LastEditorUserId="1939" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T14:15:13.427" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T14:15:13.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20954" CreationDate="2015-06-30T11:49:12.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As detailed as your question was, quite a few pertinent facts were not mentioned, but I'll do my best with what I have here. This is also long, and I hope I can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can tell you from experience that legally speaking, perhaps depending upon the state in which you live, your legal rights are quite limited until you are actually married, and even then they are still limited by grandparents' rights, which in the case of this daughter would be quite valid, as would be the rights of the girl's biological father, even though he has moved out of state. I do not know if he is paying support or not, but if he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; current on that, he is on even stronger footing unless he has actually signed away his rights. Obviously this is only an issue if you decide to really force an issue to which everyone else objects. You do not sound ready to do anything of the sort, but that would be the worst case scenario. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are asking for a validation of your feelings in the matter, I simply do not have enough information to make that kind of call, nor would I. That is for the parties involved to decide and that is where family counseling may be of service to you if you continue to have strong feelings about the need to change the current arrangement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The wisdom of &quot;stirring the pot&quot; now because weekday and Sunday evenings are not enough to satisfy your desire to play a more powerful role as &quot;man of the house&quot; or &quot;head of household&quot; or, as you put it &quot;enforcing things&quot; in &quot;daughter's&quot; life, even though you seem to feel strongly it would be to her benefit for you to do so, could be seen as questionable given the complex and diverse set of circumstances in which you find yourself. This is even further complicated by the fact that according to what you wrote, everyone but you is quite happy with the situation as it is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, my best advice for you would be to take a good, hard, deep down and honest look at what is motivating you, possibly beyond the understandable desire to be more inclusive of &quot;daughter&quot; in your blended and growing family. One question may be: &quot;Am I actually having a power struggle of sorts with the grandparents?&quot; or &quot;Do I have a need to feel in control?&quot; or &quot;Do I feel entitled to have my way because I'm older, wiser and work hard for the money that supports this family?&quot; I'm not asking you to answer these here, but do consider them. There is no right or wrong answer, just better insight into the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal advice would be for you to make home life as pleasant as possible for her, with reasonable boundaries (kids really do crave them) and lots of love and support and communication and not too much &quot;I'm the boss now&quot; kind of interaction. As you pointed out, she is not your daughter, but over time she WILL come to think of you as a dad if you don't push too hard and give her lots of love, support and gentle structure, which she badly needs during this transitional time. She's had a lot of uncertainty in her life and her grandparents mean security to her right now. If all the grownups act like grownups she will see 'home' as at least equally secure. I would define that as your top priority for her right now. Part of being a parent, maybe especially in a blended family, is learning to put one's own feelings on the back burner at times and being able to compromise for the greater good. Not all the time, but sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now it seems everyone is getting along reasonably well in a situation that could easily have been far more difficult and which could also easily blow up in your face. If you push this, hard feelings are inevitable on the part of the people who were there for this child and raised her from birth and are probably still smarting from the loss of five days of custody/companionship per week to someone who, in their eyes, has not yet seen fit to fully commit to their daughter. They are older, and in my personal and professional experience this is how older people tend to view the current use of the word &quot;fiance&quot; to describe a broad spectrum of relationship styles from completely uncommitted to true family-type situations in which couples do not feel the need for legal protections. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking of which, this lack of legal protections, ie; marriage, rarely works out in favor of the male parent, no matter how long he has supported a child, no matter that his name is clearly on the birth certificate, no matter what the history of the mother and no matter how good his attorney. A strong and sometimes deeply flawed bias still exists in favor of female parents--even when couples &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; married, so if you're serious about this family, that is a &quot;right&quot; I would advise you to seriously start thinking about protecting too. Men are truly left out in the cold in custody cases far too often. Again, I will  clarify, I have no way of knowing what &quot;fiance&quot; means in your situation, but it appears fairly open ended, given you are on your second child together and still not married. That is an observation, not a judgment, and I bring it up for your protection and no other reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, this is where I see your rights at the moment. As above, feelings are difficult to ascertain in this kind of venue. I would just ask that you consider the fact that this girl probably sees her mother as more of a sibling than a parent and sees her grandmother as more of a mother at this point in time. That is going to take time to change, and forcing the issue is very likely to have the exact opposite result of that which you are trying to achieve. A little bit of empathy and a lot of patience are probably your best allies right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best wishes to you all, and congratulations on your pending new arrival! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16979" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T11:49:12.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20967" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-06-30T11:58:54.673" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T11:58:54.673" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T11:58:54.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20968" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-06-30T11:58:54.673" Score="0" Body="Solid waste (also known as &quot;bowel movement&quot;, &quot;number two&quot;, or &quot;poop&quot;)" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T11:58:54.673" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T11:58:54.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20969" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-06-30T12:52:45.220" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T12:52:45.220" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T12:52:45.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20970" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-06-30T12:52:45.220" Score="0" Body="Liquid waste (also known as &quot;number one&quot; or &quot;pee&quot;)" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T12:52:45.220" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T12:52:45.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T13:35:55.723" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;After four years, from 12 to 16, I suspect the problem isn't something you can expect to resolve on your own.  Just as in many other relationships, if the other person is unwilling or unable to go to counseling, you should seriously consider doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might be able to change your approach to your relationship and help things out. But even if you changing isn't going to help the relationship, it will help you:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;&lt;em&gt;His behavior is abusive.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, children &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; abuse parents. You are in an abusive relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't mean you can or should disrupt the relationship, but it means your own emotional and mental health are at risk and you first need to understand the level of abuse - which may be very minor, or significant, we can't tell - and how to reduce or eliminate the power your son has over you that he is using, or attempting to use, to manipulate you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;This is classic abusive behavior&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Please don't assume it's your fault - this is what your abuser would like you to feel.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Please seek help - in most situations only an impartial outside observer can help you see the signs of abuse and help you change your perspective to make the abuse ineffective&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Love your son - there's no easy way to figure out where he picked up this relationship pattern from, and why he's using it.  Don't give in to his abuse, but don't use withdrawal of love as a tool or weapon - show him how the relationship should work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've put a lot of bold and italic in here for emphasis not because I think you are in danger, but because I think you need to change your perspective on the relationship.  He's 16 and has been practicing these relationship patterns for a quarter of his life.  He's not liable to change quickly, if ever, but the best way you can help him is by recognizing what's going on, putting a stop to it, and setting appropriate boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't put this off - the sooner you get help for yourself, the sooner the relationship can change, and, hopefully, you can spend the next year or two helping him to change so he doesn't use these tactics in his future relationships.  These patterns are lonely and burdensome - they are just as destructive for him as they are for the people he uses them with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T13:35:55.723" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20954" CreationDate="2015-06-30T14:11:11.773" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think your desire for time with your step daughter is wrong.  It's a good desire.  It sounds like you get her for the weekends a lot more during the school year than during the summer, though, and it also sounds like she has a wonderful support system between you, her mom, and her maternal grandparents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you don't need to worry too much about her standards slipping because her grandparents don't enforce the same rules you enforce at home.  There are probably a few things you'd definitely like them to enforce. Say, for instance, a rule about not swearing - if they are teaching her this or allowing her to watch entertainment with a lot of this and you disagree, this might be a place to step in and assert, &lt;em&gt;with your wife&lt;/em&gt;, your rules you would like them to use with her.  Children are very good at understanding rules and limits based on time, place, and people they are with, though, and between you and mom she is getting plenty of time learning from you two.  I don't think you need to be concerned about confusion - allow her grandparents the freedom to set and enforce the rules in their home, and chances are good she will be better for the experience than worse.  Keep in mind that the more rules you have, the more time and effort they take to enforce.  Grandparents like it when you have a good solid foundation for rules, because they don't really have to enforce them, and if they find they need to they merely need to mention to the daughter, &quot;What would your mother or father have to say about your actions?&quot; and will gain compliance when needed.  Their &quot;lower&quot; standards aren't trying to undermine your parenting - they are taking the easy road, and after raising their own child(ren) this is probably very refreshing.  Choose very carefully the rules you really want them to enforce, and otherwise let them have the freedom to play with her on their terms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, the frequency of the visits suggests you live fairly close to the grandparents.  I'd suggest you and your wife involve them more in the younger children's lives, perhaps by asking them to babysit the younger kids for a few hours a week or month so you and your wife can go on dates. They and your children deserve a good relationship with each other, and giving them more access to your family should help resolve any lingering feelings of unfairness when you say, &quot;No, we have plans for this weekend.&quot; Further, you don't want to generate additional jealousy or animosity in your younger children towards you or their grandparents due to the obvious difference in relationship.  There will be a difference, but it needn't be increased.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, when you want time with her make firm plans at least a week in advance.  When you talk with them in the course of dropping her off or picking her up on a given weekend, just mention that the following weekend you'll be doing something specific with her.  Invite them along if appropriate.  They will likely be content about your time spent with her and away from them if it's planned in advance and communicated often, rather than finding out the day before and feeling like they have to get permission every single time. Even if you don't have a specific event or schedule in mind, just letting them know a week in advance that the following weekend is already spoken for will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her grandparents spent a great deal of time practically raising her.  This is a very strong relationship, and wanting to visit every week is perfectly natural.  Please don't begrudge them this time - to some degree they've lost a daughter and gained a granddaughter, and it's stressful on both them and her, even years after she moved out. This will change over time, but don't see it as alienation - if anything, she is experiencing alienation from the people who raised her for several of her most formative years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you can trust that the relationship is good based on the signs you are already seeing, &lt;em&gt;&quot;When we are together we are two peas in a pod and vibe really well.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's difficult, but sharing her with her grandparents should not be a source of unhappiness for you.  Consider the above suggestions, but don't try to separate them any further - this isn't harmful for your daughter or you, and the feelings of loss you are experiencing are natural, but not any worse than what she and they are also experiencing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work it out with an eye towards love and I'm sure you will all find a happy compromise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T14:11:11.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T14:44:10.130" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he's upset that he's expected to meet certain standards that you may uphold for him. I'd bet that he knows that he doesn't meet some of those standards and instead of embarassingly accepting it, he's trying to convince you that he isn't even trying to meet your standards, when in reality, he's wishes he did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time he sounds a bit spoiled; he seems to feel entitled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say give him space, be accepting, yet act indifferent. At the same time, let him learn how the real world works a bit. If he wants money to buy something, suggest getting a job. If he wants something from you, don't give it until he acts nicely. And when does something good or praise-worthy, praise him accordingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise let him be for now, but be there when he does need you. When he goes to college and gets some breathing room, he'll probably appreciate you more. (I'm the same way; too much time with the parents and I get annoyed, too much time apart and I miss them sorely!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17002" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T14:44:10.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20961" CreationDate="2015-06-30T14:51:06.687" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In most jurisdictions, foster parents must take a class in which they cover this topic in some depth.  Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot you can do, other than being aware of the problem, recognizing it as a result of abandonment, and being there for the child.  You will be much better at empathizing in that area than most foster parents, and I'm sure you'll do fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The two concrete recommendations that stood out for me from the class are to be very respectful of the child's private property and private space, giving them a clear permanent area of your home that belongs to them, and to be reassuring when they test your resolve, letting them know with your words and actions that no matter what they do, you will still want them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not something that goes away easily, especially if the abandonment happened as an infant, when your brain is forming the pathways related to attachment.  My eight year old still shows many of the signs, and he doesn't even remember his birth parents or the very loving foster family he had for his first year before us.  The very fact you're worried about it tells me you'll be great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T14:51:06.687" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T18:34:03.580" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You said it yourself: &quot;He is sabotaging his self to spite me. &lt;strong&gt;I just don't understand&lt;/strong&gt; the logic. &lt;strong&gt;I really don't understand why he has it out for me&lt;/strong&gt; when I just want him to be happy.&quot; That's why. You don't understand him, and you keep judging him and suggesting he do things that match your assumptions about him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's angry with you, and you don't get why, and keep acting in a way that's not getting him, not acknowledging who he is or what he wants, and keeps suggesting normative ideas that he doesn't relate to. That's a very common pattern for children, especially teens, but this seems like a fairly advanced case. It sounds like you keep not understanding him, and he's escalated to the point that he's creating hostile conflicts just to make you wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a comment you made on another answer, it sounds like he may actually be trying to tease you, as a way to hopefully get you to understand him better. Children often tease their parents in the areas where their parents seem blind, which is a kind of subconscious way to help their parents see what they can't see about themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine that fundamentally it's not that he actually hates you personally. But it sounds like you've not been connecting to him well for a long time, and he is very angry and hostile towards that, and so he's projecting that back at you. You haven't gotten him and so he's turning it around on you. That you don't get it just reinforces his righteousness about it, and now he has a major behavior pattern about showing people (especially you) that they don't get him, and can't make him be how they want/expect, and that he's willing to be hostile and self-destructive to be right about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could probably use help from an awesome counselor/psychiatrist, though getting him to trust one might be difficult (or it might not be, if he's awesome in the right way). Trying to overpower him or make the discussion about how he's the one with a problem to fix, or any approach that doesn't treat him with respect despite his hostility, is likely to fail or backfire. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for general advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to let go of all generic cultural assumptions about what is good for a child and makes them happy. Forget all about conventional ideas that everyone should be healthy, active, polite, socialize, have friends, care about education, care about a career, or anything like that. Stop worrying about any of that, and stop suggesting any such things to him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Drop all of your judgements and all of your concerns about him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stop projecting whatever stress and patterns of thoughts and feelings you have onto him (this probably requires continual work to see things you don't realize consciously about yourself).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to relate to him not as your child but as a separate human being, who is intrinsically intelligent and capable and wise and probably a genius in one or more areas (if anyone would let him do precisely what he wants), and who can define who he is, and who ought to be allowed to do whatever he wants with his life as long as it's not harming others, and who deserves immense respect.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask him questions and always listen as best you can to whatever he has to say. Notice that your question above reads like you know what his problems are even though you don't understand, but shows no sign that you've actually asked what's going on with him, or just what he'd like, and then actually just listened and heard and acknowledged and non-judgementally responded to what he had to say. Listening well is a skill that bears life-long development. He'll probably have a lot of sarcastic and hurtful things to say at first. Develop the skill to hear the message behind that - what it's about - what he really wants and needs. Acknowledge that, so he knows you've actually heard him. You'll probably fail at first. Keep trying and getting better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is he angry with you about?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is he frustrated with about you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would he like you to do differently?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does he wish you would act differently?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would he like?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9899" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T18:34:03.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2933" CreationDate="2015-06-30T19:13:29.423" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like a deal needs to be worked out with the father, not the kids, since the father is causing the problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you will probably have to look at it from his perspective.  He is probably spending money on his daughters to compensate for not actually being there in person.  He feels like he is being shut out from their lives and the only way he knows how to reach out to them is through his wallet.  Simply asking him to stop will NOT work.  Maybe you can find a way to increase the amount of time he has to spend with his children and actually be a dad?  Once he has a chance to actually raise them and discipline them every once in a while they will probably see him more as a parent like their mom and less like  a limitless credit card&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14109" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T19:13:29.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T19:44:59.713" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's natural to want to get a bit of space from your parents and also to differentiate yourself from you parents. From your question it sounds like you keep suggesting things to him trying to force your personality on him and it might be the only way to be his own person is to reject you and what you like because you give him no other choice because he has no space to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I remember bringing treats to his 7th grade class to celebrate his birthday and he refused to eat any or participate with the class.&quot; To be honest i could think of nothing more embarrassing and annoying than my mum doing that as it would indicate she still saw me as 5 year old and advertised it to my peer group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think i wants you to stop dictating and controlling him and these are the only ways he can protect himself from you. The fact it hurts him is just and indication that he feels extremely hurt by you and hurting himself is the lesser harm. But the important thing is these things must feel like a choice to him if he is doing because his mum wants it it's not a choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17008" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T19:44:59.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20981" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="20984" CreationDate="2015-06-30T19:46:05.257" Score="4" ViewCount="1211" Body="&lt;p&gt;At my two-year-old daughter's nursery, there's one &quot;energetic&quot; boy who is perhaps a little lacking in the empathy or discipline department. What I'm saying is, he occasionally behaves too roughly towards the other children, going as far as hitting them. Now I'm sure it's nothing too extreme - there's adult supervision after all, and I know he's reprimanded when caught - but what I'd like to ask is: what behaviour should I teach my daughter when he's hitting her? I see two alternatives:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Fight fire with fire. Encourage her to hit him back. Obviously, there are problems with this approach. I'd very much like to convey to her that hitting is not-okay behaviour. However, I definitely do not want her to fall into a victim role, and being proactively defiant may help with that. Also, the boy might benefit, when he realizes that there are boundaries that can not be crossed without repercussions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have her respond verbally: yell at him not to hit her. This is more in line with avoiding not-okay behaviour (hitting), but I'm not sure this will have the desired effect of him not hitting her.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage her to ask the adults for help. This is my least preferred course of action, because it is the least self-reliant, and I'd rather she feels self-empowered to deal with these situations.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there other ways I could pursue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13229" LastEditorUserId="13229" LastEditDate="2015-07-07T08:28:42.323" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T08:28:42.323" Title="Appropriate confrontational behaviour to teach a 2-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|hitting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-06-30T20:40:53.067" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been there myself... in the place of your son :O)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for a therapist, I think it would be good but only if he would want to work things out, but it doesn't seem to be the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, your son has been very angry for sometime, and the reason might be really anything, something important that happened -or not- to him, or &quot;only&quot; his whole situation in life, perhaps he feels too much pressure. Anyway, he seems to be blaming you for being what he considers, at least for now, the origin of whatever he is suffering. He might even think he hates you, though not really.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to be sure, you might very very carefully find out how he is doing in school. Find a girl in his school that you think you can trust, none of you should spread the word, and ask her about him, about his relationships with others, teachers, friends, enemies. But make sure he never finds out or you better not do it. But that is not really important right now, perhaps his problem is not even yours to solve. Your problem is the everyday situation that tears both of you and your relationship down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid any conflict, stop any violence, any hurt. There is nothing you can say or do to work things out, but there is a lot you can stop doing, and that would help both of you to get him interested in his life and his future. Stop being &quot;the mom-my&quot; (in case you are), give him space, no advice, no questioning about his life. Stop doing things for him, like dishes, laundry, etc. When you have the chance, explain to him that you are often too tired because of work and/or house activities, or simply explain to him that every person should be auto-sufficient -if you don't do your laundry yourself, tell him you can afford it but he cannot-, and that it is necessary that he starts taking care of himself because you won't be there forever. As simply, clean and short as you can. Even if he doesn't want to do his own laundry he will end up doing it not to stink, and then will continue on his dishes, and later on his future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any situation, if he wants to fight, try to embrace him and tell him you are family, not enemies, and that there is no reason to fight, and you do leave :O) leave him there with his thoughts, do not stay there. You have to be smart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, try to involve him in your life, &quot;by the way&quot; tell him something bad (but short) about your day, later ask if he can help you with something or give you some advice about anything, nothing obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let us know :O)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17011" LastEditorUserId="17011" LastEditDate="2015-06-30T20:50:34.293" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T20:50:34.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20981" CreationDate="2015-06-30T20:44:21.670" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the mom of 2 'energetic' boys, here is my take:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;escalation doesn't work, and all it teaches is that 'might is right'. My kids are sometimes the 'instigator' and sometimes the 'victim', and in either direction it doesn't work. If you hit back, a 'rough' child might think you want to fight for fun, or might be even more aggressive. Especially at 2, I think it would not work. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Yelling is not really a respectful way of dealing with it, and if you tell her it is acceptable to yell when something she doesn't like happens, she will yell at you too, when you insist she does something she doesn't like. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;at 2, I don't really think telling an adult is 'snitching', and I think there are plenty of situations where knowing when to ask for help is ok. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I tell my boys to do is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask that the hitter stop. Say 'stop', 'no', or 'no thank you' (followed by 'I don't like that' when old enough for that) in a firm voice. This teaches that you don't have to put up with behavior like that, and attempts to not make the situation escalate. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Walk away. Yes, this might be seen as 'cowardly', but I honestly think that walking away from a situation you don't like is a good thing to know how to do. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the hitter will not leave you alone, fetch an adult. It is part of standing up for bad behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also tell my kids that they have to respect when someone else says 'no'. It doesn't only apply to hitting, but also playing rough, or playing any game with someone else. &quot;It is not fun unless everyone think it is fun&quot;. I think this teaches them the reason they should say stop to others too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it doesn't work. The boy will likely hit again. Since they are only 2, I prefer to say things like: So and so doesn't listen very well. This makes it easier for the kids to deal with I feel, rather than saying someone is not nice or something. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T20:44:21.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20981" CreationDate="2015-06-30T21:29:54.313" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes children up to a certain age need a &quot;hands-on&quot; approach to their misbehaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me tell you what happened to both my children, especially to my daughter:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a clear &quot;no hitting&quot; policy in the family and two verbally competent children who up to this day can yell at each other like a bunch of fishwives but don't retort to physical violence. (And no, yelling is not &quot;accepted behaviour&quot; at our house, but sometimes arguments do escalate, especially if both parties are actively involved.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Son started preschool, met a bunch of boys his age, got shoved the first day, came home complaining loudly. We gave him permission to react (= defend himself), problem solved after two or three mock fights had cleared the pecking order. Remained BFFs until school.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Daughter was more difficult, because her knee-jerk reaction is to remove herself from any fight scene - she declares the attacker to be stupid and walks away. In her second year a new boy came to the group (mixed age group from three to six) that was a bit like the boy you described. Third child, with two sisters that wouldn't hold back either - daughter once said &quot;I won't play with 'N' (second sister), because 'N' bites.&quot; and had the marks to prove it. So this boy had no inhibitions to shove her from behind into a ditch. And she wasn't the only target. When we talked to her it became apparent that she had no idea &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to fight back. We gave her a &quot;lesson&quot; that mainly consisted of how to give a hard shove with her full body weight and some pointers. She used her new knowledge together with a sound tongue-lashing when he tried again a few days later. After the his &quot;flight lesson&quot; he never stired trouble again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So why am I telling you all this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because raising your kids to abstain from hitting etc. is a good thing to do. Yes, saying &quot;Stop it!&quot; and walking away is a reasonable choice. But there will be circumstances where your daughter needs your permission to fight back - and the knowledge how to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our escalation steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Verbal.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The skill that will probably be the most valuable long-term.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Physical.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Know how to fight in case you need to defend yourself. If you must hit, hit hard and mean it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Authorities.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Call for help if you can't solve the situation alone. Don't be afraid to ask, you are 2 (3, 4, ...) years old and we (the teacher, ...) will help you solve the conflict. But we won't simpy get you what you want, we ensure fairness.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-06-30T21:29:54.313" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-07-01T03:31:52.547" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of these answer seem to be brushing it off as 'normal teenage angst/opposition'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be the case, but we're talking 4 years here. This seems like it could be a very real mental health issue. A form of depression, anxiety, or any other number of issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please, get him (and yourself) to a child therapist to start investigating if this is a treatable situation (through medication and/or other forms of therapy). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4 years is way too long to let a problem like this continue. Seek help. And good luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1049" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T03:31:52.547" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20981" CreationDate="2015-07-01T03:49:10.077" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I agree with the approaches of the other answers in the long term, two years old is very young for that kind of subtle discernment of a situation.  At that age, kids need very simple instructions, and asking for an adult's help is the most effective.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That adult can show &lt;em&gt;in the moment&lt;/em&gt; the appropriate response, taking the unique circumstances into account.  After enough examples, the child will internalize what response is appropriate for what circumstance, and naturally stop asking the adult for help when they already know what the adult will say.  Adults also naturally expect children to gradually assume more responsibility for solving their own problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At two years old, it's perfectly acceptable for a child to have almost no self-reliance.  They need quite a bit more experience before self-reliance is useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T03:49:10.077" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20989" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-01T06:47:40.953" Score="1" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nowadays there are very few sicknesses that a toddler or a pre-schooler can catch and that will kill or irreversibly harm him. Most bacteria infections can be treated and there is little real danger. Viral infections are rarely lethal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many parents attempt to put the baby in a protective bubble - don't let them get wet, so that they won't catch a cold, don't take them to a pool, because they can get an ear infection, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, since most catchable diseases are curable, we could let our children go and get cold and wet, let their organisms strenghten, and if they get sick, we can treat them accordingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think is the correct approach? What is best for our children? What kind of middle ground between the two extremes should we attempt to reach? Or is one of the extremes a good solution?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there trustworthy research which proves one way is better than other for long-term health?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-07-01T17:39:03.330" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T17:39:03.330" Title="Should we protect our childred from getting ill?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20990" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-01T06:52:45.097" Score="7" ViewCount="895" Body="&lt;p&gt;Which is better for toddler/pre-schooler's health? To let them get dirty (play as they will in sand, mud, dust, seawater) and wash them appropriately or try to keep them clean? What impacts do these two different approaches have on children's health? Is there trustworthy research which proves one way is better than other for long-term health?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This question is not about basic hygiene, like washing hands before eating, which is of course necessary; it's about a general parenting approach to our children's level of dirtyness&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-07-01T17:39:35.030" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T17:39:35.030" Title="Clean children vs dirty children" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|health|hygiene|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20989" CreationDate="2015-07-01T11:08:52.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this totally depends on your vision about how to raise children, it seems impossible for us to answer to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that having to cure your kid when it gets ill isn't always the best option.&#xA;What I mean is: If your kid gets serious ill and neets antibiotics, it will cure him (which is good), but the antibiotics kill the &quot;good germs&quot; in the intestines as well, weakening them for a long time (which is obviously not so good).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that the correct approach is the approach you feel best about. If you're not worried quickly when your child is ill, you can probably handle the &quot;let them play in the rain, a cold won't kill them&quot;-attitude. But if you're really concerned when your kid has some small fever, it doesn't seem to fit your style.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Sorry for lack of &quot;research&quot; and other links to give in this post, most of what I read is in Dutch, so that won't really help here)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16948" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T11:08:52.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5130" CreationDate="2015-07-01T11:12:42.910" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl has been taking swimming lessons from the age of 3 months, with her head or at least ears most of the time in the water. She's been doing that for 2 years hitherto with a lot of other babies or children without any illness or so, so I guess this is definitely not a big deal.&#xA;We were also never invited, was it by the teacher or even a MD to be careful about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now some children will be more subject to ear infection or so, for sure, but I wouldn't say as a general advise that getting water in the ears is somtehing to avoid...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T11:12:42.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20981" CreationDate="2015-07-01T11:44:19.953" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although &quot;nobody likes a snitch&quot;, there's a line between &quot;looking for help&quot; vs &quot;snitching&quot;. &#xA;I would avdise to keep on going for the idea &quot;Hitting is bad&quot; cause it definitely is, and teaching your child that when he feels like someone's doing bad things to him, it's more than OK to report to an adult. The adult might then take action, was it simply explaining to your child which alternatives he has to react or up to punishing the responsible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reporting abuse (or what you think might be abuse) done to you is no snitching and should never be presented like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T11:44:19.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20811" CreationDate="2015-07-01T12:18:11.633" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the mom of a 15-month-old who transitioned (slowly) from breastmilk to solids, I'll detail what worked for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer solids first, then milk. Stick to this even if he doesn't eat much at the solids time, since it seems from the info you gave that weight gain isn't an issue. If he's hungry when it's time for solids, he's more likely to try them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get onto a routine of meal times similar to those of the daycare. Ours offers veggies, meat, carb meal at 11, and fruit &amp;amp; cookie at 2.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reconsider whether you can bring pumped milk / powdered milk to daycare. We did for 3 months and it helped with the transition. We slowly reduced the amount as she got more comfortable eating the solids there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stick to the &amp;quot;Division of Responsibility in Eating&amp;quot; - it was a lifesaving resource for us, we have it printed out and put on our fridge.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parents’ feeding jobs:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choose and prepare the food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provide regular meals and snacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make eating times pleasant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step-by-step, show children by example how to behave at family mealtime.&#xA;Be considerate of children’s lack of food experience without catering to likes and dislikes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not let children have food or beverages (except for water) between meal and snack times.&#xA;Let children grow up to get bodies that are right for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Children’s eating jobs:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children will eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will eat the amount they need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will learn to eat the food their parents eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will grow predictably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will learn to behave well at mealtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;See more &lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;at the Ellen Satter Institute website&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T13:32:42.260" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20990" CreationDate="2015-07-01T13:48:25.783" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask yourself: How do children experience their world? Most languages have words like &quot;grasp&quot;, that mean to understand something &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; to touch it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good schools/educators try to incorporate as many sensory channels and as many different ways to teach as possible. In my child's primary school letters and numbers are taught by having the children walk the pattern, draw them into sand, form them out of clay or pipe cleaners and only finally writing them. For something as simple as a '5'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now take an even younger child - how do you think they can learn about simple thinks like warm, cold, soft, hard wet, dry, sweetly scented or stinky? There is no hands-off method of understanding or explaining snow, but so easy to grasp when you feel the cold snow melt in your hand, see it glistening in the sun or caught snowflakes with your mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes, this means getting your hands (and feet, face, clothes ...) dirty from time to time. That's why we have play clothes and water &amp;amp; soap for afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask for health impact.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In my opinion the impact of getting dirty on a child's mental wellbeing and ability to learn about his world can't be valued high enough. If you add to this that there are various studies that claim that getting dirty is good for your imune system and can reduce the risk of allergies (keyword &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygiene_hypothesis&quot;&gt;&quot;hygiene hypothesis&quot;&lt;/a&gt;) and that being active and outside (later known as &quot;exercise&quot; or &quot;fitness&quot; for adults) is good for your health too, I'm happy to do an extra load of laundry or two. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you need more inspiration, watch the kids in &lt;a href=&quot;https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gpGzVlg_vfs&quot;&gt;this video&lt;/a&gt; - playing in a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forest_kindergarten&quot;&gt;forest kindergarten&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-07-01T14:06:13.550" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T14:06:13.550" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20933" CreationDate="2015-07-01T14:27:08.867" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started running with our lil one at 10 weeks from the advice we received from her pediatrician.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We picked up a used Ironman BOB with the non-steering front wheel and lower center of gravity compared to the newer models.  The biggest concern, we were advised to focus on, was making sure her (your gender may vary :) head was very very very well supported so it wouldn't bob around in the BOB.  We used a JJ Cole Baby Head Support and added extra support using those thin linen swaddle blankets.  She was a rockstar for the entire experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks to that, she made her first half marathon race debut at 5 months and was on the podium in her age group (missed winning because we had to stop and eat about half way and the winner passed us). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, as with all advice from strangers, check with your pediatrician first and go with only what you deem appropriate for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(re: slings and backpack... they simply will not provide the head support you need until much later. I think our was 18 months before we took her on serious hikes and still had lots of bobbleheading)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17027" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T14:27:08.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="20999" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-01T15:10:42.570" Score="4" ViewCount="481" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old son has a good friend who is a foster child. She was being fostered (with two siblings) by a couple who lived not far from us and we were just beginning to get friendly with this family, planning playdates, inviting to birthdays, etc.. The couple were planning to adopt all three children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About two weeks ago, we planned a playdate for our son and his friend, but it was cancelled at the last moment because one of the friend's siblings got sick and went to emergency late at night. My son was heartbroken - he cried when we explained it to him, he cried again later in the day and again the next day. But we explained to him that we would reschedule as soon as we could. And we did, with a playdate planned for this Friday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, last night, we got a message from the other family. The children are no longer going to be fostered in this home. We don't know the reasons. But not only does this mean no playdate on Friday, it also means that my son's friend is gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how to handle this. When the playdate was cancelled previously, we did talk to him about it and comfort him, held him while he cried, etc. I think we did everything right, but it's still distressing to see him so upset. And this time, it's going to be worse, because we need to explain that he's not going to see his friend again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to plan something special for Friday, but that seems like we're just distracting him from his grieving, rather than helping him through it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any suggestions how to help him deal with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7206" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T18:11:19.270" Title="How can I explain to my 4 year old that his friend has moved away?" Tags="|friends|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21002" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21010" CreationDate="2015-07-01T18:23:06.873" Score="13" ViewCount="4020" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a child and not a parent. I don't understand what to do in the situation I'm describing below.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have both my parents and a brother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It all started a 2 years back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2 years back we were all living a happy life, understanding each other and obviously loving each other. Smiling at each other. Most importantly I used to share everything with my parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was my 10th standard with I joined a tuition class nearby. That Aunty who taught us was (is) a wonderful and a helpful person and so I used to stay after class for about 10-15 minutes daily discussing the new things which I found out in maths (she taught us maths) while hoping to get some more facts regarding that topic. I constantly told my parents how awesome she was*. My parents then decided to visit her place once for the praise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*but at times I also told that her teaching style didn't suite me well, we never had discussions in her class. Which I don't think was the reason behind my parents' visit, because I praised more.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what happened that day at her place. But I soon released that it wasn't a good meeting, when my mother asked me: why I disturbed her after classes and tried to &quot;teach&quot; her? Soon after my mother started thinking that I wanted to &quot;show off&quot; my knowledge in front of her*. I must say, I really had no intentions of doing this. So I started leaving the class before everyone else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*It took me about a week to completely realise what my mom was actually asking me, obviously she didn't ask me this directly.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that incident I don't feel comfortable in sharing anything with my mother, since my mother started blaming me for everything that happened in my life, it felt as if suddenly everyone else became ideal humans for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This distancing increased when I became busy studying for JEE. I really conversed very less with her,  I and my dad both were interested in tech and science we both talked a lot about latest things happening around the globe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably my mom started thinking that I didn't want to talk to her. This I feel has made her irritate on tiny mistakes of mine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To add more trouble: my brother is really a smart child, he knows very well how to escape situations* and very good at fooling others. At times I shout at him mainly to make him close doors behind him, to wash his hands and legs properly after playing in the mud (my parents are not bothered much about this but he really comes out of the bathroom in just a few seconds, obviously without touching soup). This shouting triggers response at the other corner of the house and my mother comes running and then starts shouting on me without having a look at his mistakes). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*He initiates the fight and then escapes by doing what I wanted him to do since the beginning, and hence giving my mother a reason to shout at me: &quot;don't you have patience?&quot;. I'm sure that if the situation would not have turned this serious my brother would never listen to me. &lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today I had another serious verbal fight with my parents regarding my brother's irritating actions and his uncleanliness.&#xA;I think my dad understands what is going on and so every time he controls the situation by making my mother quite without telling me anything, this obviously irritates my mother. &#xA;My mother, today told that even the maid working at our neighbour's house has a better life than hers because she is the one who has to listen to my dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that the meeting with my teacher has made my mother look at me with a foul vision. My mother now always tries to find my faults*. And our relation is now not so good. Now, I try to avoid interactions with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*to such a limit that it made her think that I have so much of attitude that I couldn't ask for another roti myself during dinners. While watching TV with my father and brother, I really didn't see how much of roti is remaining in my plate and so didn't bother to ask for more roti(s). I was so engrossed in watching television that I actually didn't concentrate on eating, and quietly picked up rotis being placed on the dining table.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been numerous verbal fights between me and my brother, and hence There have been quite a lot of incidents when my dad has controlled my mother without telling anything to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there some more factors which have led to this situation, like to avoid talking to my mother I started watching TV during dinners, earlier we used to discuss what had happened that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am now feeling as if I'm not living with my own family, there is no love, no laughing, no jokes shared. Everyone is very &quot;serious&quot; now. No one smiling. There is an imaginary boundary separating us now. We're becoming robots now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything I could do now?&#xA;Ps: I cried while writing this&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17032" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-07-03T16:00:24.627" LastActivityDate="2017-07-31T16:56:13.533" Title="Am getting emotionally distant from my mother day by day. What can I do to mend the bond?" Tags="|family-activities|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21003" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-01T19:07:24.970" Score="6" ViewCount="1502" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old son is hitting his 4-year-old female cousin. He is bigger than her. I am constantly on him, I have tried time outs, I always make him apologize and give her a hug, which he loves doing as well. I just recently started to give him something like a pillow, and told him to hit that, so he can get his frustration out, and explained that it's not okay to hit people. I have noticed that it's a territorial thing with him. Once she comes around his things he gets mad and reacts that way. He normally shares, but with her I don't understand why he reacts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I started noticing her older sister (8 years old) doing things to him, such as not let him play with his own stuff. Once she shoved him as she was by him, and said she was just trying to grab something that was on the opposite side of him. The other day we were all at the park and he was waiting for his turn on the swing, when she got off he was going to get on and she pulled the swing and got back on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do? I already tried talking to their parents and they get offended and get mad at me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17035" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-14T12:31:25.010" LastActivityDate="2018-05-14T12:31:25.010" Title="My 3-year-old-son and his 4-year-old and 8-year-old cousins: He hits the younger and gets picked on by the older one. How to deal with that?" Tags="|pre-schooler|middle-childhood|bullying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-07-01T23:55:14.527" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I try to encourage him to go out with friends, but he consciously refuses to have friends, because it would make me happy to see him with friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not take everything he says at face value. Most likely, he doesn't want to justify his social life to you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was like him when I was younger. I didn't have good social skills for my age. I was fat and introverted. My older brother and my mother on the other hand were both total extroverts. It also didn't help that my mother was super-protective of me and was trying too hard to solve all my problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now does it mean that I didn't have any friends? Not really. I had friends, sort of. The other school kids didn't completely hate me. The situation was not as black and white as what my mother would have thought. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, I matured socially, but most of that happened my first year of College when I moved into the dorms. Now it's difficult to say whether your son will follow my pattern. He may, or he may not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's just that it's largely in his hands, not yours. A lot of it will be outside of your control. If you're eager to help, read this book on assertiveness &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553263900&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;When I Say No, I Feel Guilty&lt;/a&gt; by Manuel J. Smith. Do not let the title of that book fool you. Its title doesn't describe very well what it's about. Hopefully, that book will make you aware of some patterns you may have been using with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if the book is too boring, read it backwards from the back to the front. That book made a lot more sense to me when I read its actual examples, which were near the back of the book.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9092" LastActivityDate="2015-07-01T23:55:14.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20947" CreationDate="2015-07-02T03:25:59.330" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think a need of his is not getting met and it could be one of two things.   If he is saying white lies as to not hurt yours or other people, then this may be a sign that he is becoming more empathetic this not necessarily a bad thing.   On the other hand, if the lies have more to do with deceiving for his own personal gain or entertainment, then it might be more about control.  The underlying reason must be uncovered and then addressed in an appropriate manner.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child goes into a new environment, that child must negotiate a new set of rules and so it is normal for old behaviors to surface upon return if the root cause was never addressed.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry can't provide more details without more information regarding the nature of the lying.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16883" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T03:25:59.330" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21009" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21014" CreationDate="2015-07-02T09:58:03.987" Score="15" ViewCount="3306" Body="&lt;p&gt;Each day during the week, I pick up my 1.5-year-old daughter at daycare on my way home from work, and we are home between around 5:30 or 5:45. By then, she is quite hungry, since they eat at 2 pm at daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The routine we have now is that I hand her some milk and prepare her dinner -something quick consisting of a veg, protein, and carb either frozen and microwaved or prepared simply (steamed veggies or fried egg), or leftovers from our dinner the night before&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, my husband preps food &amp;amp; cooks for himself and me.&#xA;So we all hang out in the kitchen together while our daughter eats&#xA;and he cooks.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When our daughter finishes eating, we move to the livingroom and play&#xA;together until her bedtime at 7:30ish.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hubby and I eat together at around 8 pm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This system seems to be working ok, but undoubtedly her bedtime will get pushed back as she gets older, and more importantly, we think it's important to have dinner all together as a family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should mention that we both like to cook and try new recipes, we usually cook once and have the meal two nights in a row, which could help...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid, my mom worked part time and cooked in the late afternoon ~5pm, to have dinner on the table at 6. But for now I plan to continue working full time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we best arrange it, in the short time we have together in the evenings, that we can eat tasty food together as a family each night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-02T14:04:45.003" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T16:36:45.123" Title="What schedule works for working parents and their kids to have dinner together as a family?" Tags="|toddler|food|family-activities|mealtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21002" CreationDate="2015-07-02T10:00:35.067" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tough situation. I can't possibly know a reliable solution to your problem, but I have a few ideas. Consider what I write and try to adapt it to your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is possible that whatever is happening at your house has deeper origins that you think. Your mother being mad at you may be just a sign of a deeper problem with your parents' relationship. If so, there is little you can do to mend it. Still, you could try to improve your own relationship with your mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt;: control your temper. I know, it's easy to say. But still, try to do it. It'll come in handy for your entire life, trust me. Never shout or scream, unless you are in danger and need help from another person. If you feel your anger building in, stop it as soon as possible. You heart may be racing, but don't let it affect your brain and lips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't let your anger eat you inside. It's quite easy to nurture the bad feelings. Try not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mother&lt;/strong&gt;. What I'm about to suggest will be difficult do to. When you know your mother will be alone at home, go to a florist, buy a nice bouquet, then go to your mom with it. Assume a sad and regretful stance, and say something like: I love you mum, but it makes me sad when &quot;...&quot;. Say the truth, state the facts, focus on how you feel, and don't accuse anyone of anything. Don't allow yourself to get mad and scream. Say how you wish things were and what you wish to do to achieve it. If you cry while doing this - it's actually good. You will make a stronger point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brother&lt;/strong&gt; it's not your job to reprimend or supervise him. Unless whatever bad he's doing affects you personally, ignore him. Don't get mad at him, and when you do - leave. Just walk away. He can do little to actually hurt you, unless you yourself allow him to hurt you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Family&lt;/strong&gt; the important thing is to spend time together. Quality talk-time would be best, but any peaceful time together is good. Think what kind of influence on it you can have. Maybe you can propose a family game of monopoly, scrabble, agricola or carcassonne. Maybe you can suggest renting a particular pro-family comedy movie (&quot;About time&quot;, &quot;Blended&quot;). Going to a swimming pool, zoo. Anything you can all do together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-07-02T11:33:03.917" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T11:33:03.917" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21009" CreationDate="2015-07-02T10:03:42.900" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about giving her a small amount of food that doesn't need preperation as soon as she gets home? Enough food for her to be less hungry, but not that much that she's really full? That way you or your husband can prepare the main dish as soon as you're home, and she can eat with you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or ask the daycare if it is possible to give her some fruit between 4:00-5:00, so that she's less hungry when you get home, making it possible for her to wait for dinner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16948" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T10:03:42.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2015-07-02T10:55:29.280" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you seem to be well off (by British standards) you could do an attic conversion or similar and make a self-contained flat for him. Then he would have to start looking after himself. You could slowly work up to charging the standard rent for your area, expecting him to pay his own bills and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surely if your kid is not working at uni this will become clear at the next round of exams? My son did exactly this, after telling us all along how well he was doing, bombed out on all exams. He is now at poly. At poly they have attendance lists for lectures, and obligatory coursework. He chose to do this. We said, you can do anything you like, but if you want money from us you have to continue studying, and prove it. He can stop anytime he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After leaving uni so abruptly we stopped giving him money. He did 6 months at McDo, did him a world of good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T10:55:29.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20999" CreationDate="2015-07-02T11:53:23.230" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately that kind of situation will happen more than once in his lifetime (people move, people die, people change, ...) so better get prepared to it. No false excuses, no lies, no diversion, but an explanation, maybe together with the &quot;fostering&quot; explanation is probably the best you can do. Kids are strong, he will probably manage to deal with it and let's face it althoug I don't know your kid chances are great he will just forget about this friend in a matter of weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If leaving any contact info to the current foster family or social services is possible, why not, but depending on where the kid will livenow it may just be difficult/impossible for them to get together ever again so I wouldn't talk'about this to the kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T11:53:23.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21009" CreationDate="2015-07-02T13:14:03.940" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've got two working adults and three kids — we're &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; familiar with the scheduling challenges this causes. (Once your daughter starts having extracurricular activities, things will only get more hectic!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, if you want the whole family to be eating the same meal at the same time, &lt;strong&gt;a snack on the way home&lt;/strong&gt; for your daughter is pretty critical to tide her over. Granola bars, fruit, carrot sticks, trail mix: something light enough that she will be hungry and eat her meal later, but substantial enough she won't be complaining for the next couple hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key thing that worked for us was &lt;strong&gt;planning menus in advance&lt;/strong&gt;. This provided a number of improvements:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Much less worry about &quot;what are we going to have for dinner&quot; or rooting around in the fridge seeing what we can throw together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We buy most of the week's groceries based on the shopping list generated at the same time as the week's menus. (Vegetables and meat we won't necessarily buy very far ahead, but we &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; create sticky note reminders [e.g., &quot;Buy chicken breasts and tomatoes on way home Thursday&quot;].)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I can incorporate bargain hunting in a sensible way. If chicken is 50% off this week, that's great, we'll have a lot more chicken than usual. However, there's still going to be a reasonable limit to how much we can eat (and/or freeze) — just because it's an amazing deal doesn't mean I should buy so much we get sick of it and/or end up throwing some away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Recipes are chosen based on how much time we've got&lt;/strong&gt;, not just how much we like them. Everybody's home by 5 on a weeknight for us, and we've usually eaten by 6. That's key because the kids need to have food before they go to whatever soccer, ballet, karate, or guitar lesson is coming up for the evening. Tuesdays and Thursdays are our busiest nights, so those are spaghetti, sandwich, or beans and rice nights.* On evenings we have a little more time to prepare dinner, there are number of favorites that take longer to cook, but we still know the cook time and know the kids will eat it. Friday through Sunday, when there are very few commitments, we get to try new recipes, cook complicated dishes, or fire up the grill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;* Another possibility is to take advantage of pre-cooked meals (fast food, things from the grocery store, etc.) but that is typically more expensive and less healthy, not to mention requiring an extra trip out of the house. For us it is only very rarely worth it and it sounds like you also prefer to cook your own meals, but I mention it for the sake of completeness: some families use that convenience to ensure they can eat together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to &lt;strong&gt;prepare as much in advance as possible&lt;/strong&gt; so the cooking process takes less time. For a couple favorite bread recipes, I've got the dry ingredients pre-measured into bags so I don't have to measure. Many meats can be trimmed, chopped, or cut to size days in advance (and even frozen that way to store longer). We're currently trying to &lt;strong&gt;pre-cook more dishes&lt;/strong&gt; to be able to eat more interesting, complex dishes on very busy nights. There are dozens of good cookbooks and food websites that have slow cooker or freeze-ahead casserole recipes. (This level of pre-cooking does require a much bigger time investment on the weekends, which is one of the main reasons I haven't been able to do as much as I might like. I can always commit us to a couple of hours for planning and shopping, but finding an entire day to cook fourteen days of food at once is harder for me.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-02T14:04:13.493" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T14:04:13.493" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21015" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-07-02T14:08:51.557" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-02T14:08:51.557" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T14:08:51.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21016" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-07-02T14:08:51.557" Score="0" Body="Scheduled time to eat a meal." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-02T14:08:51.557" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T14:08:51.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21009" CreationDate="2015-07-02T16:36:45.123" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to Erica's detailed and excellent answer, a few notes for how we handle this (in a similar situation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of our meals are planned around our schedules.  We have nights that one of us is home a bit earlier, and nights one of us will be home later (or both).  On nights that we can be home a bit earlier, we plan dinners that might take a bit of time to cook.  On nights no-one can come home earlier, we plan meals that are either primarily prepared ahead of time, or meals that take little preparation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of meals that qualify for one or both of these.  Not only can you do things like crock-pot meals (that cook during the day and are then eaten at night), such as beef stroganoff, sloppy joe's, beef brisket, stews and soups, etc.; but you can also do meals where you prepare the ingredients ahead and then cook them in the moment.  We have a pressure cooker, for example, so we can pre-chop vegetables and meats, and then put them together for a 15-20 minute cooking cycle (while we then do other things, like play, change diapers, or prepare the table).  Chicken tacos can have the chicken prepared ahead (perhaps in a crock pot, or even frozen from a larger preparation), and the tomatoes and cheese and whatnot can be prepared either that morning or even on the week-end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also usually provide a vegetable separate from the meal (unless it's a very veggie-heavy entree).  Usually this is a frozen vegetable which is simply steamed (in the microwave or on the stove as you prefer).  We often prepare that &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt;, maybe twenty minutes before the main course, and provide it to our children &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt;.  This also includes salads, fresh veggies like red bell peppers or cucumbers.  All of this means that our children a) like vegetables, b) eat more vegetables, and c) aren't cranky due to lack of food when dinner takes a while.  They're more likely to eat things like vegetables if they're the only food available when they're hungry!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, we prepare our entire meal schedule ahead of time, so shopping and all prep work can be done as early as possible.  My wife usually builds a menu on the weekend so she can shop on Monday (her day off) and get what preparation done that can be done, then we cook during the week as needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also suggest a list of go-to meals that you can quickly make if something goes wrong - you don't have the time available you think you will, for example. Hot dogs or hamburgers are quick to cook and can be kept in the freezer.  Mac and cheese for a treat for the kids.  Even something like a quick bell pepper and onion stir fry then added to quesadillas can be very easy to make (if you're a proficient chopper and/or have a food processor).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-02T16:36:45.123" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21020" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-03T03:56:47.970" Score="3" ViewCount="1159" Body="&lt;p&gt;He is 2 years and 1 month old and weighs 10.5 kg, which is underweight for his age. We consulted the doctor: he said that he is active, so he thinks there's no problem. He drinks around 500 ml of milk with a health drink powder added, and he eats currants, bananas, mangoes and biscuits, but no rice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We think he'll gain weight if he starts eating properly, but he has suddenly stopped eating rice. Please advise us on how we can encourage him to eat so that he can achieve a healthy weight for his age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17060" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-14T12:32:35.800" LastActivityDate="2018-05-14T12:32:35.800" Title="How can we encourage our son, who stopped eating a staple food and is underweight, to eat?" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2015-07-03T09:11:32.810" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most have been said already, and the subject is quite old. Nevertheless I'd like to formulate a few points that actually answers the OP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes&lt;/strong&gt;, having siblings will (most likely) affect the development of your child, especially if they are of similar age. This is due to the fact that the child will interact with another (close) person, and that your relationship with your child will be affected: you &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; spend &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; your time with one child if s/he has a sibling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, what you are interested in, of course, is will your child be ultimately &lt;strong&gt;happier&lt;/strong&gt;? That is of course a completely different question, and much more complex. The only useful answer is: it depends on a lot of factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only have circumstantial evidence to go with (and anyway previous answers already have some research references), but we can nevertheless look at some factors&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Only child are more likely to experience &lt;strong&gt;alone time&lt;/strong&gt;. But this is not intrinsinctly bad. Yes, some children would get depressed, bored and finally feel unhappy (see the answer of @what). But others (me), developed friendship networks, learn to adapt themselves to, in a way, compensate. It is also possible then to develop some form of creativity/or passion for some subjects (@Beofett). And they might appreciate being alone (at least at time) for rest. I certainly did. And not dread that (again, see @what).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Socially, only child may have problem to relate to children their age, especially if they are mostly surrounded with adults all the time (no cousin their age, no neighbours, etc.). On the other hand, they might be more adaptable to different circle of friends. I was one of the rare to be well received in most circles among the 100 students or so in my class at university.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bonds with siblings. I know of two siblings who have always been very closed, even with 5 years difference, to the point that they shared most friends, and were witnesses of each other at their respective weddings. On the other hand, I know of two siblings where fits of jealousy (even in adulthood) sometimes compromise their relationship. And even worse, I know a few cases where the tension that always existed, turned into outwright hostility when the parents passed away. All the cases I know are connected to some unfairness of treatment of the different siblings by the parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, having or not having siblings can be either good or bad depending on the environment, your family ties (having a lot of cousins around make up for at least part of it), your education of your children and ultimately the mind of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As most mentioned before, I cannot emphasize enough that &lt;strong&gt;only you, parents, can evaluate the circumstances and decide on the opportunity to have siblings or not&lt;/strong&gt;. You know yourselves, you know your child, you know your circumstances (including economic and your perspective). So don't let others decide for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We decided to have a second child (they are now 1 and 3), because we are far from our families, my wife has a very good experience with her sister that she loves, and I know that at time I wished I had a brother and/or sister. However it is not something always easy. First, it requires much more &quot;work&quot; from the parents (I agree with @Joe on that point). And it can be hard for the first one: his parents were his and he was their priority. Now he has to share. It can be hard to understand. I know of some cases where it even leads the older ones to violence and resentment. And although both children have different needs (especially at the age of mine), you need to treat them as fair as possible, not favoring one over the other. Which I have at time explained directly to my older one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I admit that we are guilty of asking a similar question to those of our friends who have only one child (and asking a question about the first child to those who don't have any). It is not intended to convince the others that &lt;em&gt;our&lt;/em&gt; choice it the &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt; one, but more a conversation filler, one on which we can share our experience (good and bad). Not long ago a couple explained us that their daughter (3) have required so much stress and effort, that they can't bring themselves to have another one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point of view, with regards to other people choice, is that it is better NOT to have children, than to have them in bad conditions (mood, skills, etc.). Too many parents seems to have been &quot;forced&quot; to have children, and do not take care of them later. Same goes for siblings. Better an only child who is loved and cared for than siblings that are mostly abandonned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has turned much longer than I planned. The &lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt; part is that yes having siblings will have some influence. No one knows if ultimately it will be &quot;better&quot; for the child. And being in a loving happy family is more important than such a choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16752" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T09:11:32.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21025" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-03T12:24:16.787" Score="2" ViewCount="423" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2-year-old son who is a fast developer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been attending play school some mornings and will only join a school towards the end of the year.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for a home-based learning curriculum / set of exercises / home school program for his age that his nanny can take him through for an hour or two every day. I'm covering things like colours, shapes, words etc. to keep him stimulated and learning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would be a good home-based learning curriculum for my toddler?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17067" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-01T12:16:01.190" LastActivityDate="2019-04-01T16:54:29.033" Title="What's a good home-based learning curriculum for a 2-year-old?" Tags="|toddler|education|homeschooling|stay-at-home|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8635" CreationDate="2015-07-03T13:41:30.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do Babies Dream&lt;/strong&gt;: Generally people go through five stages when they sleep. Four stages belong to non-REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep and one stage is REM sleep. REM sleep is the stage of the sleep in which we dream. Babies will spend most of their sleep time in this phase i.e.REM sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the recent studies, it is proved that babies don't dream but they learn while sleeping. They use REM sleep phase to develop new brain pathways and later develop language i.e. they process knowledge while they sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Baby's Smile When They Sleep&lt;/strong&gt;: Actually baby needs approximately 8 weeks for their brains to develop in such a way to respond emotionally to external stimuli. Below that baby's smile is nothing but &quot;gassy smile&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the cheeks go up and the eyes squint then it is a &quot;social smile&quot;  whereas &quot;gas smiles&quot; will be smaller and they will not lift the cheeks up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;REM sleep phase is an active period for passing gas as well. So babies smile while sleeping i.e. gassy smile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mnn.com/family/babies-pregnancy/stories/do-babies-dream&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mnn.com/family/babies-pregnancy/stories/do-babies-dream&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ehow.com/how_2099122_tell-between-baby-gas-smiles.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ehow.com/how_2099122_tell-between-baby-gas-smiles.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastEditorUserId="16714" LastEditDate="2015-07-03T13:49:05.437" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T13:49:05.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21025" CreationDate="2015-07-03T14:20:52.880" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best schooling for a two year old consists of reading to him and playing with him, and taking him frequently outside to parks and play groups where he can socialize with other kids his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At two, some of the books he might be interested in that would also be very intellectually stimulating include photo books which consist of nothing but photos of real objects (and the word for them to help Daddy!).   Priddy Books for example has some great ones, as does DK and several other publishers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, a book with all of the different kinds of construction vehicle, or trains, or trucks, or animals.  Many of these include color pages (so, a page of only orange trucks, a page of only blue trains, or a page with one of each major color), number pages (one truck, two train cars, three dogs, four sheep), shapes pages (a rectangle freight truck, a triangle digger shovel, an oval concrete mixer) and even sometimes alphabet pages (A is for anteater, B is for bear, etc.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These realistic photo books are very good for teaching, because at that age they're very interested in their environment and they are able to recognize the photos as more &quot;real&quot; than the fluffy hand drawn stuff of one-year-old books.  We have gone through at least a dozen of these kinds of books with our two boys (now 2 and almost 4) and they're wonderful for learning and keeping their interest, far better than books with any sort of 'plot' at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T14:20:52.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16404" CreationDate="2015-07-03T15:26:43.053" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your best approach may be to try to get her to imagine what this other girl is feeling. Ask her to think about when she first got interested in boys (I'm assuming she is). Make sure she recognizes that she didn't chose to start feeling those feelings, it just happened. Now, tell her that a lesbian feels the same way, but about girls instead of boys. How would she feel if she told someone that she's attracted to boys and they told her she was dirty and weird?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she won't engage with the conversation, or doesn't agree, you can't force her to change her mind. She has the right to chose her friends, even if you don't approve of the basis for her choice. All you can do is try to convince her to see things another way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T15:26:43.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2015-07-03T15:40:22.067" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm autistic and I do this too. It's not defiance or satisfaction at provoking the person or anything like that. It's completely involuntary and not associated with happiness at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My impression is that many autistic people express emotions using different kinds of nonverbal signals than non-autistic people. For example, I once met a kid who showed excitement by trilling and flapping his hands. I also heard of an autistic kid who attacked another child saying he hated him (the child had been picking on him), but his facial expression remained neutral the whole time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the various oddities in nonverbal expression shown by autistic people, it's not that surprising that some would show smiling or laughter in association with a different emotion than most people do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, most non-human primates don't smile out of happiness - instead, the closest thing they show to a human smile is a 'fear grimace', a sign of fear and submission. So maybe it's some latent genes from our ancestors showing through that makes some autistic people smile when scared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fieldtripearth.org/repository/7446/fear_grimace.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&amp;#39;fear grimace&amp;#39; http://www.fieldtripearth.org/repository/7446/fear_grimace.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T15:40:22.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11601" CreationDate="2015-07-03T15:59:49.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're adopting a baby, I don't think it really matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're adopting an older child (who are the ones most in need), that's a different matter, because some of these children can have problems with abusive behavior resulting from prior trauma - and you won't necessarily know ahead of time if your prospective child has these issues. You will need to consider carefully how to make sure your biological child doesn't end up being a victim of their adoptive sibling. (As I did when my parents fostered two teenagers while I was a toddler.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few options you could do to minimize the risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you could have a biological child, and then adopt a child who is two or more years younger than yours. That way, if the child turns out to be aggressive, your biological child will be able to defend themselves. Of course, you should still make sure to give your biological child plenty of support and encourage them to tell you if they're having conflict with their new sibling, even so. This works especially well if the biological child is many years older, and they are less likely to be intimidated by a child with serious problems with aggression, and more likely to be able to put themselves in the other child's shoes and understand why they're acting badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternately, you could foster-to-adopt before having a biological child. Fostering a child before adopting them gives you a chance to get to know what they're like before you have a legal obligation to them. Make sure to observe the child in interaction with other children, including babies, to make sure they are appropriate with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T15:59:49.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8819" CreationDate="2015-07-03T16:53:36.177" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even if he doesn't understand it now, he does still know about it. As he gets older and gains more understanding of how the world works, he'll reinterpret his adoption story bit by bit as more of it starts making sense to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you keep being open and honest about where he came from, it will never come as a big shock like it does to someone told for the first time as an adult. He probably has about as little understanding of biological childbearing as he does of adoption, and he'll gain the capacity to understand both at a similar rate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast, someone like your friend, as he was developing an understanding of where babies come from, he was led to believe he came from his adoptive mother's tummy. As he was forming his identity in adolescence, he took that for granted. So it's no wonder it came as a big shock to be told he was adopted, &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; going so long believing he was their biological child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you want your son to have a better understanding, try making it more concrete for him. Some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Are you thinking of getting a new pet? If so, point out the parallels between how you're getting a new puppy or kitten or whatever and how you got him. Obviously, there are differences, but you're still getting a little baby who was born to a different mommy and taking them home to be part of your family now. Watching it happen in front of him could make it make a whole lot more sense.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any baby pictures, pictures of where he lived before, or other things related to his adoption? Try showing them to him and talking about what they mean. For example, if he was internationally adopted, showing him pictures of his home country and talking about how he used to live there would allow him to form a mental image of life before he was adopted. (Be honest about why he couldn't stay there, by the way. You don't need to overwhelm him with horrifying details, but make it clear that they couldn't give him the kind of care a baby needs, and that it's not his fault they gave him away.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There are some picture books you can buy about adoption. You could do some comparison shopping and see what you can find that reasonably matches with his experience.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he still doesn't get it (or if you've already tried my suggestions), don't worry about it. He'll figure it out when he's ready to understand. Just keep being open about it, and he'll do fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(On an aside, did you know that ADHD is overrepresented in adopted children? It's thought to be a mix of higher rates of ADHD in parents who give up children; higher rates of prenatal exposure to nicotine, alcohol, and other substances; and the impact of adverse caregiving environments on infant brain development all contribute to this finding.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T16:53:36.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20960" CreationDate="2015-07-03T17:20:55.167" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say you should base it off of what your child is doing so far. Try to cultivate an open dialogue around crushes and attraction, so you have a general idea of where your kid is at - are they at the 'chase them and pull their pigtails' stage, the 'holding hands is amazing stage', or are they starting to get past that? Try to start discussing expectations around the time your kid is first contemplating having sex, but before they've actually decided to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T17:20:55.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18251" CreationDate="2015-07-03T17:34:19.910" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it depends on the context and age of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt a baby would be harmed by witnessing their parents have sex, as long as they aren't having sex with the child. However, an older child might be tempted to imitate what they saw their parents doing, which could lead to inappropriate behavior (eg trying to have sex with a peer). If they do engage in sexual behavior beyond what is typical for their age, not only could this cause problems for them and others, it could also lead to suspicion that the child may be a victim of sexual abuse (since sexually abused children often show inappropriate sexual behavior). Certainly, do reassure them if they are concerned about the weird noises that mommy and daddy are making, but don't let them see what you're doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for a kid who is close to puberty, I'd be worried about it affecting their sexuality if they had too much exposure to parents having sex. There is a theory that fetishes come from stimulus-response learning from the contexts in which the child first starts feeling sexual feelings. If a child who has started puberty witnesses anyone having sex, there's a decent chance they may get aroused by it, and you do not want a child getting aroused by their parents. That will &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; mess them up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T17:34:19.910" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21034" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-03T17:55:42.160" Score="3" ViewCount="156" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've set aside one evening a week as our dedicated family craft night.  That doesn't preclude us from doing craft projects at other times, of course, but rather ensures that my son gets at least a regular minimal exposure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The craft sessions tend to be short, based upon the project and my son's attention span (he's almost 5).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we're doing art projects (drawing, painting, gluing, etc.), how much guidance or instruction should we be giving to my son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want him to create the things he wants to create, instead of what we think he might want to create, and he's certainly welcome to color outside the lines as much as he'd like (both literally and metaphorically), but at the same time, I want to encourage him to start building up better skills and techniques.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of this stems from my recent venture into painting for recreation.  I have essentially no training, and haven't painted anything since I was a kid using watercolors and fingerpaints.  I'm &quot;learning by doing&quot;, and, by doing so, I'm finding how much technique and practice can be involved in being able to express oneself artistically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, should I be teaching my son anything at this point, or just letting him have fun?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I just let him have fun with it, when should artistic skills be actively taught?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I teach him now, what types of things should I be teaching him?  Things like &quot;if you're painting something, make sure you haven't missed spots where you wanted color&quot; and the basic concepts of color mixing?  Or should I include things like brush techniques, layering, or other, more &quot;advanced&quot; tricks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I ensure that these craft projects remain fun while building his skills?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:30:13.537" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:30:13.537" Title="How much instruction should be incorporated into a pre-schooler's art activities?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20093" CreationDate="2015-07-03T18:23:53.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although I can't diagnose someone online from second-hand information, what you've described suggests that your son's girlfriend may be suffering from borderline personality disorder. If so, that'a horrible condition to be living with, and my heart goes out to her. (To people saying it's normal teenage behavior - threatening suicide is not normal for any age group. Yes, teens are at higher risk than other ages, but it's still only a small percentage who ever actually express suicidal thoughts.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two big things to keep in mind, if she does have this condition. First, people with BPD &lt;em&gt;really are&lt;/em&gt; feeling the emotions they say they're feeling, no matter how overblown or conveniently timed it seems. One analogy for BPD is that it's like 'emotional hemophilia'. You know how a person with hemophilia bruises easily and bleeds more from cuts, because they have trouble clotting? Well, a person with BPD have trouble handling strong emotions, and so instead of being able to talk themselves down and self-regulate, the slightest provocation can make their emotions spiral out of control. This is not a choice - if they had any choice in the matter, they would choose &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; to feel these feelings, because it's absolutely miserable for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, people with BPD don't trust other people, but can't cope without them. So they try to control others and cling to others. They tend to see people in black and white, evil or good, and this is especially true if it's someone important to them. For someone with BPD, relationships are terrifying, but being alone is even more terrifying. It's pretty common for them to do extreme things to get attention from a loved one - not because they're trying to manipulate them, but because being ignored really does make them feel desperate enough to cut themselves or threaten suicide or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can seem bizarre to most people, and they think the person must be lying or exaggerating. But the truth is that people with BPD can go through more extremes of emotion in a single day than many people do in a lifetime, and they have absolutely no choice in the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, if your son's girlfriend does have BPD, she needs psychiatric help. Meanwhile, your son needs to avoid being sucked in, or he'll risk throwing his life away trying to save her from herself. In particular, he needs to understand that her issues are not his fault or his responsibility. He can try to help her, but he can't be her savior or her scapegoat. The oxygen mask analogy is apt here - he needs to take care of himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to her parents, and talk to her. Don't approach it as 'behavior you want her to stop', approach it as you being concerned about her well-being. Suss out the extent to which they are already aware of her issues, and whether she has gotten counseling or considered counseling. Strongly encourage her or her parents to seek out a professional for her to talk to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she calls your son with a crisis when he's busy or sleeping or whatever, tell him and her that she should be calling a crisis helpline instead - it's their job to deal with situations like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And have a talk with your son about how sometimes people can have serious emotional problems, and you can be a support to them, but you can't make it better for them. Only a trained professional can do that, and only with their cooperation and commitment to recovery. (Even though living with BPD is horrible, the idea of admitting you have a problem and committing to getting better can be terrifying.) Make it clear that even though her needs are so overwhelming, his needs matter too, and sometimes it's a good thing to be a bit selfish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T18:23:53.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1843" CreationDate="2015-07-03T18:40:46.867" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say let him play on his own as much as he wants to. Make sure he can come and get you guys if he gets distressed, but if he's happy, there's no problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; engaged in social play with adults, or only when adults forced him to, then that could be a sign of a developmental issue. But if he absolutely refused to play alone ever, that would also be a sign of a problem. Most kids his age can enjoy both kinds of play, and learn valuable lessons from both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for social play with other children, it won't hurt to try, but be aware that many kids at his age aren't really interested in other children yet. Eight month olds find it hard to set up much interaction without an older person supporting them. Most kids his age either just smile or stare, or else they start grabbing at the other baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T18:40:46.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20543" CreationDate="2015-07-03T18:46:02.513" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she's remaining calm and the other person isn't getting mad at her, let her try to resolve the situation herself. If the other person starts getting annoyed or she starts getting frustrated, redirect her and amuse her yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a good thing for toddlers to have to deal with situations where others don't react the way they want sometimes. It helps them learn better social skills. (Younger siblings often have better social skills than oldest children, because their older sibling is less cooperative than an adult is.) However, if she's getting upset, she's not in a good state to learn new skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T18:46:02.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21038" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-03T18:48:57.190" Score="6" ViewCount="1247" Body="&lt;p&gt;I moved near to my parents five years ago. My daughter was 10 years old at the time, and she stayed with them. But she is almost 15 now and I want her back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom has been ill and I don't know long she will live. At first I thought it would be selfish of me to not let her stay with her, since my mother preferred to have her. But my mom has completely taken over and I miss my daughter. I don't know how it got to this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've already missed so much of my daughter's life. I desperately want my daughter back. How can do that without seeming selfish and being mean? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ive talked to daughter about how I feel. My mom lets her get away with more than I do, and buys almost everything she wants. My mom also undermines me and involves my daughter in our disagreements. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wrote my mom a letter saying &quot;thanks, but she's my child and my responsibility,&quot; but she ignored it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17069" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-04T04:00:56.367" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T21:33:41.447" Title="My mom has taken over my daughter" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12727" CreationDate="2015-07-03T18:55:26.877" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't diagnose someone over the internet, but it's possible he might be on the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism_spectrum&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;autistic spectrum&lt;/a&gt;. Repetitive speech patterns, spacing out, taking things literally, and poor memory are all &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/facts.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;common features&lt;/a&gt; of autistic kids - as is having an uneven pattern of strengths and weaknesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he have trouble making friends? Does he show other kinds of repetitive behavior? Does he avoid eye contact or have unusual or flat facial expression or tone of voice? Does he react too strongly or not strongly enough to ordinary sensations (eg upset by noises, picky eating, insensitivity to pain, etc)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has a bunch of traits like that, and those traits are causing him problems in some form, it may be worth getting him checked out. But if his quirks aren't bothering him, don't worry about it. Autism is a spectrum, and there are people with autistic traits who do just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2016-07-11T16:05:31.263" LastActivityDate="2016-07-11T16:05:31.263" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14890" CreationDate="2015-07-03T19:11:59.727" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think expecting tact from a 4 year old is kind of futile. Children that age only have the most limited ability to take another person's perspective. For example, most kids &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Penny_Pexman/publication/251735484_Children&amp;#39;s_Perceptions_of_the_Social_Functions_of_Verbal_Irony/links/54d00eeb0cf24601c09622a9.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;can't tell the difference between irony and literal statements until around 7-8 years old&lt;/a&gt;. Your son probably doesn't have the capacity yet to understand the difference between lying and being tactful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the good side, it's unlikely that another 4 year old would be upset by being told he gets upset all the time and complains a lot, either. So he probably didn't hurt his friend's feelings. Most 4 year olds aren't very concerned with what impression they're making.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17068" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T19:11:59.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21041" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-03T21:04:03.727" Score="1" ViewCount="1486" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, who is 2 years old, has had diarrhea now for 11 days. About a month ago he started to have diarrhea. I thought it was just an illness, but it would stop and then start again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It started to be more consistent on June 23rd. He had two episodes each on the 23rd, 24th, and 25th; 3 on the 26th; 5 on the 27th; 3 on the 28th, 29th and 30th. On Wednesday the 1st, he had an episode in the morning. He woke up crying like he was in a lot of pain, but he ate breakfast and acted fine. Later he had 3 more episodes. Then 3 episodes the next evening. Today, Friday, he has had 3 more episodes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday I took in a stool sample to be tested. That came back negative for the most common GI issues children can have, like C Diff. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took him to the ER today, just to give them another stool sample, now they want me to give him a probiotic medication. The results of the test should be back sometime next week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They keep trying to tell me it's just a virus, but with this lasting 11 days in a row now, I doubt that it is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what else to do for my little guy. When he is getting ready to have diarrhea, he cries horribly. He grabs his tummy and says ouch. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of the medical staff I have taken him to is taking this seriously. How much longer does he have to be having diarrhea before they finally take it more seriously and do something?!?!?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: I'm not really seeking medical advice. I realize there isn't much else I can do for my little guy and there are no approved medications to give to him. I'm really needing advice on how to get these physicians to actually do something. I mean they have sent out now two stool cultures, but mainly they send us home because he is not dehydrated. I have scheduled an appt for him with a GI doctor, but that is far as I have gotten and that appt is not until the 22nd. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17073" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-04T03:52:36.040" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T01:11:03.500" Title="Child with diarrhea: what to do when you think the doctors aren't doing enough?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21034" CreationDate="2015-07-03T21:31:52.847" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As adults, we're often concerned with doing things &quot;the right way&quot;, and while technique and practice are certainly critical to mastering watercolor (or pottery, drawing, sculpting or any other art form), they aren't likely to be appreciated by a 5 year old. Kids that age are curious, relatively restless, energetic and enthusiastic, with creativity mostly unlimited by considerations of what's &quot;normal&quot;. This is a good time to encourage kids to be wildly creative in a wide variety of mediums; they will learn soon enough to reign in their wonderful creativity in order to conform with expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning what's important to your son** will help make creative time more meaningful and fun for him. Is he still in the &quot;process over product&quot; stage? That is, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.extension.org/pages/25732/the-development-of-creative-art-abilities-in-3-to-5-year-olds#.VZbwKqbqmto&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;does he focus&lt;/a&gt; more on the process of creating and not so much on the finished product? Or does he want to keep their artwork once it's finished? If it's the former, just let him have at it in a large number of media - paint, sparkles, torn colored paper, macaroni, play-doh, crayons, stickers, cotton he can pick apart, etc. If it's the latter, then start introducing technique, color theory, etc., but let him lead the way. You can also start using more permanent media and more expensive tools - Sculpey, Fimo or Primo, better paints, paper, etc. Also remember that it's more important to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.extension.org/pages/25728/praise-effort-instead-of-product-when-discussing-childrens-art#.VZbuRqbqmto&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;praise effort than to praise the product&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.extension.org/category/child_care_art&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This site on child development and art&lt;/a&gt; will not only help you figure out what stage your son is in, but will help guide you in your expectations of him.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://stagesofartisticdevelopment.weebly.com/stages-of-development.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Stages of Artistic Development&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T21:31:52.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21034" CreationDate="2015-07-03T23:16:43.380" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I've found to be successful is not to try to proactively teach artistic skills, but to model skill for my preschooler.  Either by myself constructing the craft/drawing the picture/etc. alongside him (or just in front of him), or by having him next to other, older children who are by nature of age better at the crafts.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That leads him to both want to be better (by seeing the better picture/craft), but also allows him to see the technique and learn from it without explicit tuition.  My son is quite stubborn and doesn't really like to be explicitly taught - but he loves to learn on his own.  Sometimes if he's having a hard time he'll ask for help, in which case I'll give it, but most of the time he simply learns by watching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can include times when he's not explicitly in a craft activity - for example, walking by a chalkboard at the local kids' diner, I randomly drew a train track.  He then spent the next several months perfecting his train track, since he loves trains, and now can draw a fairly good track - and sometimes a train along with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-03T23:16:43.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21041" CreationDate="2015-07-04T00:32:32.460" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't offer you personal medical advice (no one can over the internet), but I can address your frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;None of the medical staff I have taken him to is taking this seriously. How much longer does he have to be having diarrhea before they finally take it more seriously and do something?!?!?!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is the gist of your question. For this, I have a couple of suggestions. First a bit of background.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doctors see diarrhea all the time, and it is - fortunately or unfortunately - less concerning to them, because, again, they see it &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt;, and by a large margin, the cause is relatively benign and the children get better mostly without much in the way of medical treatment (home treatment often suffices) or with a course of antibiotics if cultures come back positive. It might help you to know that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The most common cause of diarrhea in kids is infectious: viral more often than bacterial which is more common (depending on your location) than parasites. If they have attempted to rule out the treatable and non-self-limiting infectious causes (with appropriate cultures), that's the right thing to do. Suggesting probiotics is already being ahead of most.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There are three degrees of severity (with overlap) of diarrhea: mild (2-4 watery BMs per day), moderate (~4-8 watery BMs/day) and severe (~10 or more watery BMs/day.) Along with number of bowel movements, one needs to take into account &lt;em&gt;amount&lt;/em&gt;; explosive diarrhea is more serious - that is, it usually leads to more fluid loss - than &quot;regular&quot; diarrhea. Dehydration is the main concern for all diarrhea; if the child is well-hydrated on repeat physical exams (or by parental history on questioning), the main danger is avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the child is well otherwise (that is, 98% of the time: he plays, eats, runs around, has normal amounts of urine, sleeps through the night, has a normal temperature, etc.), and only complains in the few minutes before having a BM (it's normal to feel crampy), to physicians that is a &quot;reassuring sign&quot;, though it might not be to you. (As a parent, I worried much more about my children's illnesses - especially under one year of age - than their doctor(s) did, even though I had treated many children with the same things capably and confidently.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Diarrhea in younger people - infants and preschoolers - usually lasts longer than in older people because of intestinal factors. Two weeks of diarrhea in a 2 year old &lt;em&gt;without any other signs or symptoms&lt;/em&gt; is usually not even a worrisome thing to most doctors.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are some of the reasons your doctors might not appear to be taking this seriously. It doesn't mean they don't care. In all likelihood, they do care, and they are - in all likelihood - doing what many doctors would do in your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things which will make doctors (and should make you) more concerned:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diarrhea of greater than two weeks duration (which requires that cultures be taken)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bloody diarrhea  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dehydration   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lethargy, unusual behavior   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;abdominal pain  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;weight loss&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are doing all that you should be doing. You have been keeping good  track of his bowel movements. He seems in good condition other than the diarrhea. Take his temperature several times/day, and watch for bright red streaks of blood in the BMs. Keeping a food diary is never a bad idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read up on causes of diarrhea in kids. &lt;strong&gt;The more you know, the better you can address your concerns with your son's doctors&lt;/strong&gt;. Asking informed questions (e.g. &quot;Is diarrhea at this age and to this degree dangerous? Can this be non-infectious? How long do you wait before deciding to do a work-up?&quot;) is more likely to be answered in a manner you find helpful than just worrying that they're missing something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't force your doctors to act more concerned than they are, but you can ask them questions, which they should take time to answer. &lt;strong&gt;If you don't have confidence in your doctor(s), it's always appropriate to seek another opinion&lt;/strong&gt;. Also, the ER is there for you and your son; they cannot (in the US) refuse to see your son. (A professional secret - in the US, at any rate - if there are multiple ER visits, you'll likely get to see a specialist sooner.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/skin-care/diarrhea&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; is one of my favorites for general problems. There is a list of the tests doctors should do in your son's case (routine cultures, Ova and Parasites, Rotavirus antigen, Giardia antigen, Hemocult test, and any that might be specific to your area); you can make sure they have tested for all of these. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If after reading the article, you still feel that the doctors aren't taking things seriously enough, please take your son to another pediatrician or the ER. In many scenarios, it's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. &lt;strong&gt;Never&lt;/strong&gt; be afraid to be a squeaky wheel if you're genuinely concerned. Good doctors would rather have patients who tell them of their concerns (so that they can meet the parent's expectations and gain their trust) than that a patient hold back for fear of being a &quot;bad patient&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;In &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.phillyvoice.com/pandas-disorder/&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;, a mom who had doubtful physicians stated &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[Parents] have to advocate for their children, because if we as parents don't, no one else will, and advocating for your child, standing up for your child, pushing for the right diagnosis and treatment for your child doesn't make you a nuisance. It makes you a good and loving parent.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cincinnatifamilymagazine.com/special-needs/learning-to-advocate-for-your-child&quot;&gt;This one about advocating for your child&lt;/a&gt; states&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;...any reasonable provider should never try to block parents seeking second opinions...&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Granted these were rare illnesses. Diarrhea is not. But the principles are the same: educate yourself and keep asking questions. When in doubt, seek a second (or third or fourth if it continues) opinion. &lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/pediatrics/diarrhea_in_children_90,P01990/&quot;&gt;Diarrhea in Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-04T03:51:16.573" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T03:51:16.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21045" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-04T03:13:25.967" Score="2" ViewCount="3551" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6.5 month old son. For a while I wasn't having him sleep in his crib just because he refused to do it. The past few weeks he will sleep in his crib half of the night and then normally his swing the other half. He also is napping in his crib. I have found that he has to go down while he is still awake (it takes about five minutes for him to go to sleep when he's really tired) because if I put him down when he's asleep he always wakes up. &#xA;I have a few problems though. &#xA;My son has to have a bottle 99% of the time to go to sleep. Even if he only wakes up an hour or so later, he wants a bottle or he will cry. He has completely rejected his pacifier over 2 months ago. &#xA;He also rolls over and then sits himself up.. I found him crying with his eyes closed (still asleep) sitting up. &#xA;Do you have any alternatives to a bottle/pacifier? My baby isn't that hungry as when he was in his rocker he only took a feeding to go to bed and then a feeding at 5 am. &#xA;Thank you! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17076" LastActivityDate="2017-09-26T15:26:11.003" Title="How to get baby back to sleep throughout the night without needing his bottle" Tags="|infant|sleep|crib|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12727" CreationDate="2015-07-04T11:16:12.423" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also wanted to chime in and say that my 5 year old stepson sounds &lt;strong&gt;exactly&lt;/strong&gt; the same as yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had behaviour psychologist look at his behaviour and temperament for a sudden change in his behaviour due to an unrelated hyperactivity problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Luckily the hyperactivity is now manageable through the coaching we received from the specialists we saw, and when we asked about a lot of the same things you talked about, they all came back and said it's normal for his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17080" LastEditorUserId="17080" LastEditDate="2015-07-04T11:23:20.410" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T11:23:20.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21048" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-04T13:57:44.753" Score="2" ViewCount="179" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are pretty lucky as far as sleep goes. We have a 6 month old who generally sleeps through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...except that when going down to sleep (unless she's completely wiped out) she cries and we need to take measures like rubbing her belly in order to get her to calm down and go to sleep. (Although, she does actually use her thumb as well to pacify herself.) After her first 45 minute sleep cycle she may or may not wake up again and need the same thing. And in the process of going to sleep during that first sleep cycle she may or may not wake up and need the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But after the first sleep cycle, she seems to be out for the rest of the night. Conceivably, she's sort of waking up between sleep cycles I suppose, and getting herself back down to sleep during this time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would sleep training (such as the Ferber method or something else) work for us in this case or not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17082" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T21:39:25.103" Title="Does sleep training make sense for a baby with intermittent sleep difficulty?" Tags="|infant|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21048" CreationDate="2015-07-04T15:15:06.990" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is just a personal opinion, but a 6 month old is still a very tiny baby who needs your presence and affection a lot of the time. If she sleeps through the night most of the time I'd say you're luckier than most people. Pretty sure she'll learn to sleep through that first cycle as well sooner rather than later and personally I wouldn't mind being with her to get her to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 15 month old has rarely slept 4 hours at a single time and usually wakes every two hours. But this is a million times better than when he was 6 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6420" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T15:15:06.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21050" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21128" CreationDate="2015-07-04T18:34:12.043" Score="17" ViewCount="16530" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies around the age of five-seven months might be able to remain in a sitting position when parents put them into that position, but they are still unable to sit up unaided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Hungary where we live the common knowledge (reinforced by pediatricians as well as by random web pages) seems to be that you should not let your baby be in a sitting position for a long time before they are able to sit up by themselves. The alleged reason is that their back muscles are not strong enough yet and hence this position can cause damage in their spine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Googling around a little bit, I see a lot of controversy; while the claim is accepted in some communities, others have never heard of it. I understand that there might be other disadvantages to sitting but I'm less interested in those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any solid evidence supporting the theory of potential spine damage? The closest thread I have found is &lt;a href=&quot;http://ask.metafilter.com/182420/BabyFilter-is-there-any-medical-evidence-that-its-bad-for-babies-to-sit-or-stand-before-they-can-get-into-those-positions-on-their-own&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://ask.metafilter.com/182420/BabyFilter-is-there-any-medical-evidence-that-its-bad-for-babies-to-sit-or-stand-before-they-can-get-into-those-positions-on-their-own&lt;/a&gt;; no such evidence emerged there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16139" LastEditorUserId="16139" LastEditDate="2015-07-13T12:13:52.067" LastActivityDate="2017-04-03T14:00:23.370" Title="Is there any solid evidence that being in a sitting position might be bad for babies (before they can sit up on their own)?" Tags="|infant|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2015-07-04T19:25:51.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am currently 22 years old, unmarried without children. However, I have recently being studying the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vedantaworld.org/about/what-is-vedanta&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;vedanta&lt;/a&gt;, the art of living, and I would like to share observations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 16-year-old son says the most awful things to me. I feel he is deliberately trying to upset/provoke me constantly. For example, last night at the dinner table he said,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;I am not going to try to get into a good college because if I got into a good college - that would make you happy.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is very oppositional. I feel that anything that I want - he wants the opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I read your question I noticed that although you are genuinely concerned about your son (as you should be) yet your happiness is contingent upon your son heeding you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My 16-year-old son says the most awful things to &lt;strong&gt;me&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I feel he is deliberately trying to upset/provoke &lt;strong&gt;me&lt;/strong&gt; constantly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I feel that anything that &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; want - he wants the opposite.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you can see, although you genuinely want the best for your son yet you have made his well being about you. I noticed it and your son noticed it too:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;I am not going to try to get into a good college because if I got into a good college - that would make you happy.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Logically, your son knows that your concerns for him are for his own well being. However, his behavior is not governed by logic. He is acting on his desires; and to put it bluntly his desire is to undermine you. That is what makes him happy:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember bringing treats to his 7th grade class to celebrate his birthday and he refused to eat any or participate with the class. He just sat there with a smirk on his face the whole time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this means that you son hates &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt;? No. Don't make this about yourself. He revels in the idea of undermining you, even at the cost of his own well being. Does this mean that he hates you? No.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The vedanta, taught in Ancient India, is a subjective science which explains how to live a fulfilling life of both peace and prosperity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most important functions of the mind is to generate desires. Many of these desires could harm you. For example, for a shopaholic the desire to buy could cause them harm if they don't have the money to pay the credit card company. Without the supervision of a trained intellect such dangerous desires remained unchecked. The stronger the desire, the more difficult it is for the intellect to control it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, your relationship with your son is suffering because of two conflicting desires:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your son's desire to undermine you, even at the cost of his own well being.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your desire to provide the best possible life for your son.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does your son desire to undermine you? We don't know. People could desire anything. Some people desire being dominated and humiliated. Some people desire hurting other people. Your son desires undermining you. People can find happiness in anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how can you change your son's behavior? To put it bluntly, you can't. The job of a parent is to control a child's desires until they can control their own desires. However, if you try to forcefully control your son then he will get angry. His desire has grown strong and it's very difficult to control it. Strong desires are addictive; and like any addiction they are very difficult to resist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prevention is always better than cure. A trained intellect can nip a harmful desire in the bud, before it becomes strong and takes hold of one's life. A parent must also nip the harmful desires of the child in the bud. It is too late for that, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I keep thinking this is a phase, but it feels like it has gone on too long. He is sabotaging himself to spite me. I just don't understand the logic. I really don't understand why he has it out for me when I just want him to be happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to understand is that there is no logic to your son's behavior. It's just pure desire. For example, an obese person might keep eating fattening food even though he knows that it's harmful for him because his desire to eat fattening food is too strong. That's all you need to understand. He needs to train his intellect in order to keep his desires in check so that he may lead a fulfilling life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;What Can You Do?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your happiness is contingent upon your son listening to you. In my opinion, that is a major problem in your relationship with your son. Your son doesn't listen to you and that makes you unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not a bad thing to desire the best possible life for your son. However, what's &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; bad is that you are equating your present happiness to your son's future. You are afraid that your son won't have a good future and that upsets you in the present, which is sad because there are so many other things to be happy about in the present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be concerned about your child's future. Every responsible parent is concerned about their child's future. However, that doesn't mean that you should be miserable in the present. The present is all you have. You can't change the past and you can't live in the future. Why squander your present by being upset?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dissociate your present happiness from your son's unforeseeable future because if your son doesn't listen to you and keeps hurting his own future then you will be perpetually unhappy. Be concerned for your son but don't let your happiness be contingent on his future. Be happy for everything that you have in the present. If you son doesn't listen to you then don't become upset. Instead, if you show him that you are happy regardless of whether he listens to you then he might actually start to change his behavior. Care for him, nurture him and prepare him for life. However, don't waste your present being upset about his future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't stress this enough: &lt;strong&gt;If you show your son that you are happy regardless of whether he listens to you then he might change his behavior.&lt;/strong&gt; Your son wants to upset you. Don't let him. That doesn't mean that you stop caring for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;If you want to learn more about vedanta then you please do visit the following website: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vedantaworld.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.vedantaworld.org/&lt;/a&gt;. We are currently endeavoring to start teaching vedanta to children in schools again, like in the olden days, so as to prepare them for life; and we are pitching this idea to the UN general assembly to promote its adoption worldwide (similar to how yoga is now adopted worldwide).&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3917" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T21:16:45.270" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21038" CreationDate="2015-07-04T21:33:41.447" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing to do is what's best for your daughter. At minimum, this question is complicated, and so the best situation for your family may not be what's best for any other family. First, take a look at your daughter's life. Is she (a) happy, (b) performing well academically, and (c) getting the recommended medical attention (dental, physicals, vaccinations, etc) to be healthy? If she's doing well mentally, physically, and emotionally, you might need to just let your daughter remain with your mom for the next three years-- any attempt to move her now could cause more harm than good. If you're just not sure about how she feels, ask her how she's doing, speak with her teachers, and her doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you feel your mother isn't the best case, either because she's not doing well in school, is constantly sick, or seems unhappy/depressed, you may need to take aggressive action. I'd like to mention at this point, that doing anything to remove your daughter from this situation will be considered hostile by your mother, and you're likely not going to maintain a good relationship with her. This sacrifice might be necessary if it's for the good of your daughter, but remember, if she's really attached, it's likely going to cause emotional stress. You might need family therapy once you get her back, as well as a rehabilitation program. What I mean by &quot;rehabilitation&quot;, is to start off with the &quot;same rules&quot; that your mom had, and gradually reintroduce the rules you expect her to abide by. It will be challenging for both you and her, and will take time. She may hate you simply for removing her, so expect resistance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as &lt;em&gt;getting&lt;/em&gt; her back, this will depend on the legal status of your daughter, and your legal relationship with her. If you've retained legal guardianship, simply asking for her back is sufficient. You can involve the police if necessary, because keeping a minor somewhere against your will is basically kidnapping, family or otherwise. If you don't have legal guardianship, you'll have to go through the courts to regain guardianship, unless you can argue your case with Child Protective Services. If the situation is &lt;em&gt;dire&lt;/em&gt;, CPS can keep your child (relatively) safe while you work on getting legal guardianship back. I'd recommend against CPS, unless her health is endangered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can see, however, that no matter what you do, involving the police, CPS, or the legal system may cause financial burdens on yourself and your family, and will almost definitely breed animosity between you, your mother, and your daughter. Make sure that your decision is in your daughter's best interest. Ask yourself, your daughter, and a professional therapist/psychiatrist. It's difficult to gauge how your daughter will respond to anything you do, and you're doing this &lt;em&gt;for her&lt;/em&gt;, so make sure that it's the best thing &lt;em&gt;for her,&lt;/em&gt; even if she doesn't see it that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she can safely stay with your mother for the next three years, you can always work to start a fresh relationship with your daughter once she's moved out of your mother's house and is living on her own. You've also mentioned that your mother isn't in the best of health. This can be an argument in courts for getting your daughter back, even if you don't currently have legal guardianship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13457" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T21:33:41.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21048" CreationDate="2015-07-04T21:39:25.103" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that you are very lucky with your daughter's sleep. She sleeps much better than our 18 month old too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I can say that our son also used to be very erratic after the first 45 min sleep cycle, it was always unpredictable whether he would wake up or not. If he did wake up he would always cry. If we comforted him quickly he would go back to sleep easily but if we didn't get there straight away he would cry more and take longer to settle. In the end he stopped that without us doing anything. I guess he just grew out of it, maybe his sleep patterns matured. Now the only time he wakes up after such a short amount of time is if he's unwell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is your only sleep problem, I'd say it's probably not worth the stress of sleep training for you and her. Presumably you are not having your sleep disturbed by this if it's only 45 minutes after your baby going to bed. I would expect, based on our experience, that if you continue to comfort her for a while longer then she'll grow out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid I don't know the answer to whether sleep training would work for this or not - maybe someone else would know that if it's something you particularly want to try. But hopefully you can be reassured that it's not necessary if you'd rather avoid it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-07-04T21:39:25.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21054" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-04T22:32:13.950" Score="0" ViewCount="3063" Body="&lt;p&gt;Currently going through a nightmare with 4 week old, for the last 5 days she's been stuck in a strange rhythm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She seems hungry and cries the house down, we make up a large bottle as we have been for a few weeks but after drinking a tiny amount (15-30ml) she falls asleep and can't be woken up by any means (up to and including touching a cold apple to her cheek and the 'inception' drop). We lay her down and within 30 minutes she's screaming the house down again and the cycle goes on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know she's got a much larger capacity as when she was 3 weeks she was taking 70-90ml per feed and sleeping for 3-4 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there something wrong we're doing or a medical problem that could cause this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17085" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T12:35:27.663" Title="4 week old cries for bottle feed every 30 minutes but only takes 30ml (1oz)" Tags="|newborn|feeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21057" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-05T08:19:30.970" Score="6" ViewCount="147" Body="&lt;p&gt;Suppose I have a kid and I want them to be bilingual. Does it confuse a child when you speak two languages to them? If so, how does one avoid this? But I don't know much about how language develops so I'm not really sure how to approach the problem. But I have read numerous times that children become bilignual far more readily if you introduce the languages early during the critical years between roughly 0-5 years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, one strategy I thought of was to speak a particular language when in particular rooms in a house. For instance, suppose I speak Spanish when in the kitchen but English when I am in their bedroom reading a book to them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17089" LastActivityDate="2015-07-05T09:13:08.040" Title="If I want to ensure my kids are bilingual, how should I decide which language to use when with them?" Tags="|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21057" CreationDate="2015-07-05T09:13:08.040" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an interesting question and kudos for wanting to give your child such a head start in languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most long-term successfull cases I know rely on different &lt;em&gt;persons&lt;/em&gt; speaking different languages. Some examples: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Two parents with different native languages, each using their language with the children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One parent using a learned language only.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Grandparents using their native (non-local) language, lots of interaction/meetings/invonvement neccessary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One language spoken at home, different from the language spoken at the place of residence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever language you choose, try to have teachers who speak well. The child can only learn the language as well as it hears it. A few decades back here in Germany we had a lot of children (second generation immigrants) who ended up knowing neither language well. Also note that to generate results you have to commit to &quot;active bilingualism&quot; &lt;em&gt;long term&lt;/em&gt;, that means ideally for years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But please do not try to do this all by yourself, especially the &quot;kitchen = language 1 / bedroom = language 2&quot; idea. Not because you might confuse your child, but because you will confuse yourself. While I don't doubt that you may be a very intelligent person, I know first hand what restless nights and constant vigilliance over ever-active toddlers (aka &quot;parenthood&quot;) can do to a brain. This approach would IMHO be likely to fail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-07-05T09:13:08.040" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21054" CreationDate="2015-07-05T15:02:32.843" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had a similar behavior, which was due (in her case) by &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_colic&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;colic&lt;/a&gt; (not sure if this is the right way to say it, english is not my native language). I am not saying that this is the case for your child, but it could be worth prospecting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What was happening to my daughter (at least how I understood it) was that feeding her calmed the pains, which would lead her to quickly fall asleep, since she was exhausted. But once asleep, the pain would quickly come back, then waking her up soon after; and crying. Etc. Such small amount of drink was due to the short span between two feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again I am not saying that your baby has colics, but your description reminded me of the situation I experienced with my daughter. One thing that worked to make her fall asleep again was to hold her &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pinknewbornservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/100912_football1.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;like that&lt;/a&gt; (but it did not work for my second child...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6075" LastActivityDate="2015-07-05T15:02:32.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21061" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21063" CreationDate="2015-07-05T15:52:07.560" Score="6" ViewCount="528" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like my daughter to be grateful for her life - being healthy and raised in a rich country by a caring and loving family, she should be. &lt;strong&gt;How can I make her see her life as &lt;em&gt;good enough&lt;/em&gt;, without being negative?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was raised expecting too much from life. I am constantly frustrated and disappointed, even though I have what appears to be a good and lucky life from the outside. On the contrary, I have seen people expecting very little from life and be happy for what they have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These high expectations resulted in many achievements and have given me a lot of energy throughout the years. But it also makes me unhappy and disappointed regardless of these achievements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the feeling that showing her what a horrible life looks like in comparison wouldn't work. And telling her &quot;do whatever you like and it will end-up fine&quot; would be a lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7242" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-16T13:23:09.160" LastActivityDate="2019-01-16T13:23:09.160" Title="How can I help my child be grateful for her life" Tags="|toddler|development|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21061" CreationDate="2015-07-05T18:36:16.297" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gratitude doesn't come naturally to most people in the west because of the expectations they are constantly being exposed to by the culture: freedom from all debt is highly valued (not only financial), advertisements generate want (often through entitlement), the media focus on wealth, celebrity, and achievement, the focus on career instead of character, etc. In our culture, which treats good things in our lives as products or our own doing, but the losses and suffering as not our fault, it is a set up for a lack of gratitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your question (as it is now) reads as though you think it's too late for you to learn gratitude (I may well be wrong, but your focus is on your disappointments.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help your child, you first need to help yourself so that you experience real gratitude; then you can model it for her every day in your life. If you try to teach something you don't really have, it's not hard for anyone who lives with you to figure it out pretty quickly and reject the words which essentially amount to &lt;em&gt;&quot;do as I say, not as I do&quot;&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I have seen people expecting very little from life and be happy for what they have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What strikes me immediately is that this statement is written in the present tense. That's really the place one must emphasize to find gratitude.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to help your daughter be grateful (and this is best done with modelling from her parents), emphasize and prioritize things she actually has control over: teach character instead of achievement, resilience instead of success, &lt;strong&gt;process rather than product&lt;/strong&gt;, actions over appearance, kindness above self-fulfillment, value people above money, appreciate living in the now rather than anticipating future happiness. One can enjoy life while working to better one's circumstances; if circumstances don't change, one can still enjoy life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend that the first step for you (I am assuming she is still very young) is to read* and start keeping a gratitude journal. The focus in gratitude is to see good things in your life now as &quot;gifts&quot; (as opposed to rewards you've earned or deserve): being grateful for the gift of a beautiful sunset, the gift of an opportunity to help someone in need, the gift of a fun experience with your daughter, the gift of a meaningful story in a book, The gift of living with enough, the gift of people you love to share your life today with, etc. The idea is that more you realize your blessings, the more you'll share these feelings with your daughter, and thus shape her attitude by example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you really learn how to see and appreciate all the good things in your life, you can really instruct your daughter in the art of the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry if anyone finds this preachy. It is something I'm fairly passionate about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt;I've learned a lot from the writings of a man named Jon Kabat-Zinn. Kabat-Zinn got his Ph.D. in molecular biology from MIT. While at working with cancer patients and others with serious diagnoses at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, he developed an approach of mindful living. If he could help those in dire circumstances to find happiness, I wanted to know what he taught his patients so I could give it to my own patients. What I read made my own life better as well.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/84/2/377/&quot;&gt;Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/2Wood-GratitudeWell-BeingReview.pdf&quot;&gt;Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=Qz4nhZ3ZMmgC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PR5&amp;amp;dq=the+psychology+of+gratitude&amp;amp;ots=CGH8kYEf1b&amp;amp;sig=0bK-WEGWQMdDfOQJBnjsXInGAhc#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=the%20psychology%20of%20gratitude&amp;amp;f=false&quot;&gt;The Psychology of Gratitude&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://mbh.hku.hk/icourse/documents/backup/MSBH7001%20-%20Lecture%202_Meditation%20and%20Positive%20Psychology.pdf&quot;&gt;Meditation and Positive Psychology&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;Wherever You Go, There You Are&lt;/em&gt; by Jon Kabat-Zinn&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;He who receives a benefit with gratitude repays the first installment on his debt. - Seneca&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-05T18:36:16.297" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5130" CreationDate="2015-07-05T21:13:18.063" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;@Rory Alsop is correct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, terms need to be defined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/vEoYqm.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are basically 4 parts of the ear. The outside of the ear (what you can move around with manipulation) is called the auricle or pinna. Occasionally it can become infected, and this is called &lt;em&gt;malignant otitis externa&lt;/em&gt;. It is relatively uncommon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ear canal (the acoustic auditory meatus or the acoustic canal) can become infected; this is called &lt;em&gt;otitis externa&lt;/em&gt; (also known as &quot;swimmer's ear&quot;.) It is relatively common, especially in swimmers, people who wear ear plugs, people who clear ear wax out with bobby pins, etc. etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;middle ear&lt;/em&gt; is separated from the outer ear by the tympanic membrane (a.k.a. &quot;ear drum&quot;.) The ear drum prevents water from entering the middle ear. However, there is an entry into the middle ear (where the bones that transmit vibration from the ear drum to the acoustic nerve are housed) from the outer world, and that's through the Eustachian tube, the other end of which opens into the back of your nose/upper throat. This tube is what allows your ear to pop when the atmospheric pressure changes (like on a plane.) &lt;strong&gt;This is the area where most ear infections occur&lt;/strong&gt;. An infection here is called &quot;an ear infection&quot; by laypeople, and &lt;em&gt;otitis media&lt;/em&gt; by health care professionals. This is by far the most common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, there is the inner ear involved in both balance and hearing. An infection here (&quot;a.k.a. inner ear infection&quot;) is relatively uncommon, but more common in the elderly, is usually viral, and causes you to feel very dizzy with movement (vertigo).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very unusual for infants or small children to get otitis externa unless they are immunocompromised or someone is digging around in there with a fingernail, a Q-tip, or other, or they have eczema of the ear. They &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; get it by swimming in a very polluted river (which is an activity infants and small children do not engage in frequently), but they will &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; likely get it from bath water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Far more likely from swimming in a polluted water source is a &lt;em&gt;middle ear infection&lt;/em&gt; because the polluted water gets in your mouth (and throat), and some is pushed up the Eustachian tube into the middle ear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants and children have more &quot;ear infections&quot; (&lt;em&gt;otitis media&lt;/em&gt;) because their Eustachian tubes are shorter and at a lesser angle than in adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, the ear canal of an infant is different from an adult's. It's shorter and it's angled differently (this is taken into consideration during the ear exam.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A normal baby will not get an ear infection by getting bathwater in his or her ears any more than a normal adult will.&lt;/strong&gt; If they did, ED would be full of such children every day. It's far more likely that a baby will get an ear infection by getting bathwater in their mouths (because of that Eustachian tube) than in their ear, and &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; doesn't happen often either. Otherwise every time a baby put something nasty in their mouths, they would get ear infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Image &lt;a href=&quot;http://anatomyarea.com/human/human-anatomy-ear.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt; AnatomyArea.com.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;If you want to decrease ear infections in infants, you might want to get them vaccinated.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ftp.collin.edu/lcorrea/Department%20of%20Biology%20Page/Anatomy%20&amp;amp;%20Physiology/A&amp;amp;P%20I%20Nervous%20System%20-%20Special%20Senses/HOW%20TO%20USE%20AN%20OTOSCOPE.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;HOW TO USE AN OTOSCOPE&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673606683049&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pneumococcal capsular polysaccharides conjugated to protein D for prevention of acute otitis media caused by both Streptococcus pneumoniae and non-typable Haemophilus influenzae: a randomised double-blind efficacy study&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://jcm.asm.org/content/46/11/3808.short&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Serotype Distribution and Penicillin Resistance of Streptococcus pneumoniae Isolates from Middle Ear Fluids of Pediatric Patients with Acute Otitis Media in Japan&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://archpedi.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=517679&amp;lt;/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Influenza A Vaccine Decreases the Incidence of Otitis Media in 6- to 30-Month-Old Children in Day Care&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-05T21:13:18.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21066" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-05T22:05:07.360" Score="4" ViewCount="85" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm living in Spain and my kid is with my wife back in Brazil for now (they will join me later).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hardest feeling I have is that I'm not interacting with my kid as much as I would like to, we try some Skype calls and stuff but as hes only 4 yo it's hard to keep his attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any suggestions of things we could do together remotely?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have created the same question in Expatriates Q&amp;amp;A and was told to create it here too:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://expatriates.stackexchange.com/questions/6477/ways-to-interact-with-my-kid/&quot;&gt;https://expatriates.stackexchange.com/questions/6477/ways-to-interact-with-my-kid/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17096" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:50:18.887" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T13:13:30.347" Title="Ways to interact with my kid" Tags="|social-development|working-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21067" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-06T01:06:31.943" Score="1" ViewCount="3805" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a single mother of 2. My daughter is 13 and my son is 7. My son's father shot himself 2 years ago. That's when things started to change. When his dad was alive, my son never wanted to go to his house. He would scream and cry and latch on to me. So I would keep him with me. I know his dad watched a lot of porn. And I'm wondering if he saw it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first I thought, &quot;They're kids, and kids experiment.&quot; (I know I did when I was little.) In the past 2 years my niece and my son have been caught together more than a few times, and each time I would talk to them about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son has been caught with his pants down and my 5-year-old niece sucking his penis. I instantly told them to stop. I explained that kids don't do stuff like that. I told them it was disgusting and they should never touch each other again. I talked to my niece about it and she said he told her to do it. It happened a couple other times except it got worse. He tried to stick his penis in her vagina. They are no longer allowed to be around each other. And my son isn't going to be around any other kids until I find out what is going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm just not sure why this is happening. I'm so scared he's going to be a bad person. I want to help him. When I talk to him about it he says, &quot;I don't know, mom,&quot; and then changes the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help my child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17097" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-07-07T10:51:57.573" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T10:51:57.573" Title="My 7 year old son acts out in sexual ways" Tags="|sex-education|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-07-06T14:44:36.777" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21067" CreationDate="2015-07-06T11:19:22.677" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll make an answer out of my remark as it appears to be a reasonable advice...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Better bring him to a psychiologist or so, as your kid indeed seems quite disturbed. If you fear that he could have seen things he can't handle due to his young age at his father's, I would go finding help to a specialist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand how hard it can be to use the correct words in such a situation, but being told sexuality is disgusting isn't going to help him in his future life anyway. You might disturb him even more actually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T11:19:22.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21054" CreationDate="2015-07-06T12:35:27.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As it is a very trendy matter nowadays, I would also explore lactose intolerance as a possible cause of this. it may be that your child quickly gets under the impression she's done while it's just intolerance causing this. Therefore she quickly gets hungry, and so on...&#xA;You can probably easily check this by testing soya milk for 1 or 2 feedings and see if situations gats any better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T12:35:27.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21066" CreationDate="2015-07-06T12:47:01.170" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never thought about it before, so here are a few things that just popped into my mind :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can maybe play &quot;hide &amp;amp; seek&quot; : your wife hide the device somewhere while still connected and your kid has to find &quot;you&quot; back&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sing-a-long&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;with a little organisation you can probably also read him a book (while your wife turns the pages)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have him make and send some drawings to you, once you get them you can show him through skype you got it and how glad you are&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting the laptop on the table, you can also probably share a &quot;21th century family dinner&quot;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastEditorUserId="4510" LastEditDate="2015-07-06T13:13:30.347" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T13:13:30.347" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20960" CreationDate="2015-07-06T15:49:42.970" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There should be no set age, and definitely not just one discussion about such things.  In fact you should be careful even trying to set hard and fast rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem when it comes to sex and sexuality with children is getting children to speak to, and listen to, parents.  There are many reasons for this, like kids thinking it's gross or embarrassing to discuss with their parents.  The biggest issues are that parents usually teach children to not discuss these things through many subtle indicators that they are not comfortable discussing sexuality.  This usually happens through many tiny subtle instances of parents shushing children when they talk about 'embarrassing' things as a little child, which all combines to teach children that they just can't talk about certain subjects with their parents; making them embarrassed to do so later even if you want them to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A second issue with teens is that they often think their parents are disconnected and don't 'get it' and are inclined to dismiss parental advice as being a theoretical thing that doesn't really apply to their real lives.  This can be a particular issue because many times parents do set unreasonable expectations on their children.  Teenagers are interested in relationships, dating, and yes sex.  Expecting them to be a nun with no dating until 18 and never even thinking about sex until their married is just not realistic.  Trying to push a perfect idealized approach to sex and dating on a child, even if some of it is quite reasonable to an adult, will seem insane to a teenage child; and too strict of rules will simply be dismissed as adults not 'getting it' and ignored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incidentally as someone who has advice allot of teens, you would be amazed how much a little bit of the &quot;yeah, those dumb adults I know most of them totally don't get it.  Good thing I'm not like them, now let's talk honestly&quot; tactic can get teens to at least hear you out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step to teaching proper sexual views and dialogue is to address the issue of dialogue.  You need a child to be able to speak about sex and sexuality with you if you are to teach them.  To do this you want to make a child know that they &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; talk to you about such things!  This means encouraging an open discussion from a very young age.  If a child asks questions you find mildly embarrassing like &quot;where do babies come from?&quot;  or &quot;why do women have breasts and men don't?&quot;  or &quot;why is daddies penis bigger then mine?&quot; or &quot;why does mommies vagina have hair around it and mine doesn't?&quot; you need to answer the questions honestly, and without embarrassment.  This is so very important!  If you respond with embarrassment or shush them the kids will learn they can't talk to you about 'private' stuff, and that lesson will stick with them subconsciously so their uncomfortable talking about sex or dating when older.  Honest and frank answers when their child goes so far towards keeping the dialog open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can teach a child that some questions should be asked in private, if your afraid of having to answer embarrassing questions in public.  It's okay to say &quot;I'll answer that question when we get home&quot;.  However, make sure you actually do answer the question at home, even if they forgot about it, so they know you mean it when you say &quot;were talk later&quot; and that your not just trying to shush them from asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the child gets older you can now start to teach sex and sexuality more freely by answering questions as they ask them.  Ideally you will be the first one they come to to ask when they should hold hands, who to kiss, or what should a kid do when they take another kid 'out on a date'.  It's important to always encourage such questions.  Done right you will never have to sit down to discuss exact rules or expectations, instead the child will be asking you about such things as they get to the age that they are interested.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; tease kids about things like dates, or at least don't only tease them about it.  Be supportive of their 'dates' when their little kids who don't understand what a date really is, and don't tease them about liking a girl.  Too much teasing will also teach a preteen not to talk to you or your just tease them.  Some teasing may be allowed, depending on child and parental relationship, but only if it's done &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; a more honest and supportive discussion, not before or without one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also start up discussions about things you feel they are ready to discuss, if the child doesn't ask, but be very careful not to make it 'THE TALK&quot;.  When I say start a discussion I don't mean sit them down one day and spend 2 hours explaining sex, sperm, tiny eggs, pregnancy, and STDs to a 12 year old; that will just leave them confused and lost.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There should never be &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; one discussion covering everything.  When I say start up a discussion I mean mention one tiny important fact they may be ready to know.  For instance if you have a family member who is pregnant you may use it as an excuse to start telling them a bit about where babies come from (Uncle mike and aunt Lisa love each other and want a baby, so they decided to have one, and now Aunt Lisa is pregnant with a baby growing in her.  When people love each other they do something called 'sex' to get pregnant like Aunt Lisa so they can be mommy and daddy).  Yes I said the S word there, it's important that they not thing words like sex, penis, or vagina are 'bad words' they can never say.  In that example not much was explained, and that's fine.  What your want is for the child to start asking questions from there.  For instance when you say that aunt Lisa was pregnant because of sex the kid may say &quot;isn't that a bad word&quot;.  Then you can explain that sex is not bad, it's just something that people do in private and some don't like talking about; but they can always ask you about it.  Or, if the child is older, explain that sex is fine when done with two people who love each other, it's only bad if done before your ready or with someone you don't love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is though that you should look at ways to &lt;em&gt;start&lt;/em&gt; a discussion about subjects, but not dictate how the conversation goes.  As they get older you can start discussing their interest in boys or girls, or their puberty and curiosities that come with it etc.  Start the discussion, and let them lead it!  Just be open to answering their questions.  Also, don't be afraid to answer with everything they are capable of understand, and maybe just a little more then they may get now.  What you don't want to do is constantly over-simplifying because your afraid they won't understand.  Too much over simplifying once the child is old enough to understand more will lead them to not bothering to ask because they won't get a full answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is older and that dialogue doesn't already exist it can make it harder to form one now, but not impossible.  Start discussing simple stuff now.  I would not leap straight into the sex talk or dictating sexuality immediately, warm them up by talking about their date or who they have crushes on, or if they are uncomfortable with that start more general.  You need to develop a dialogue by finding what they are willing to talk about and discussing it openly and non-judgmentally, so they will open up to discuss more stuff as time goes on.  Forcing them to talk about things they find clearly embarrassing once, then never touching on the subject again, will not work; they will just see it as an embarrassing discussion they try to forget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other half of the discussion is being realistic in what you tell your children you expect.  If you act unable to understand what they are going through, or always tell them exactly how they must behave without thought to what they are thinking or feeling, they will be far less likely to trust your advice.  In general rules without reasons are much harder for any child to accept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are going to set boundaries start by explaining exactly why you feel that boundary needs set, and be honest about it.  Don't try scare tactics like &quot;your get an STD if you even think about doing anything with that boy&quot;, because teens quickly recognize these as scare tactics and once they do they will not listen to you afterwards since you aren't being honest.  However, you can explain that usually teens are happier waiting to have sexual relations, that pregnancy is a major risk they must be aware of, and yes there are also STDs; just don't make STDs into the unrealistic bogy man to scare kids straight some try to.  In any case explain your reasoning, including listening to your child's feelings about those reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will be young and naive and &lt;em&gt;will not&lt;/em&gt; like to be told that no, they don't know everything at age 17 and that boy they just met a week ago is probably not really the love of their life.  Try to be understanding and not condescending to them.  Yes you will likely have to eventually fall back on the fact that they are young, and they may not have the perspective to understand what their feeling yet, but don't completely dismiss their feelings or emotions when doing so if you want them to feel like your listening and giving honest advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest mistake you can make with older teens is being unrealistic.  They are quick to dismiss parents as foolish and naive, and they have peers with so much wonderful 'advice', often much of it foolish.  The problem is they trust their peers, even when their peers are idiots.  You must prove you can be trusted as well!  Do not lie, or mislead, or exaggerate!  You must also try to toe a careful line between explaining what you expect, and being judgmental if the child doesn't meet that expectation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To give the most obvious example, none of us wants our 17 year old child having sex; but statistically speaking by 17 they will be having sex!  You can explain why you want them to wait, why it's smart and best, and that you will be upset if they don't.  However, if they know you will do nothing but yell, scream, and disown them if they have sex they will likely still have sex, most teens do, and simply not tell you.  Which means you can't put your daughter on birth control, or explain to your son how to properly get and use condoms (you would be amazed how foolishly teens use birth control; they have no one to explain how to do it right!).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you need is for your child to know that they can talk to you.  If they decide to have sex that they can come and speak with you about it.  It's far &lt;em&gt;FAR&lt;/em&gt; more important that they get birth control if they have sex.  For that matter if a child is going to have sex they still have the ability to decide who it is with.  Maybe you can't talk them out of experimenting, but at least you can make sure they respect themselves and their partner if they do go that route.  In any case the point is that you can not always prevent the child from doing something like this, even if you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; right and they are being foolish.  Thus it's important to set a careful balance between setting rules, and explaining that you want the child to speak with you even if they aren't going to listen to your rules.  Which is why I would suggest only a few of the most important rules, and most of the rest be &lt;em&gt;strongly worded advice&lt;/em&gt;.  In other words, you let them know they &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; break the advice and still speak with you; even as your stress as hard as you can why you really don't want them to, and why it's best they listen to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That sounds like allot of advice, but the good news is that it's not as hard to do in practice as it sounds.  In short simply be open to answering questions and never shy away from embarrassing topics.  Make  your child know they are allowed to speak with you.  Just don't condescend or dismiss their curiosities; useful advice about all questions not just sexual ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only difficult part is once they reach teenage years trying to provide strong advice while still letting the child know they can talk to you no matter what.  I suggest explicitly saying, a few times, that they can talk to you whatever they decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tangentially related, I suggest making birth control available for children of both sexes from a relatively young age.  I want kids to wait, but they usually don't.  Better to protect them if they don't listen.  Besides, If done well it can show that your available to listen to them honestly about stuff like sex without just yelling at them to not have it, even as you still advice against it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13387" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T15:49:42.970" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21072" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21114" CreationDate="2015-07-06T16:04:31.027" Score="3" ViewCount="293" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a side effect of some volunteering I do, I find myself playing something of an 'uncle' like relationship for some of the children of women I've volunteering with.  I love children and am more then happy to play that role, and of course only do so when encouraged to by the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of their kids grow attached to me, and as it is now I currently have at least half a dozen sets of kids that look forward to my visits and their parents encourage me to know and be involved with them, acting in something of a quasi uncle like role with the children when visiting.  The kids vary in ages, though generally all younger then teens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only visit these kids occasionally, Level of contact depends on many things but generally after I'm no longer actively volunteering with them I'll still occasionally visit somewhere between once a month to once every other month.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of these kids do not have a traditional father.  Most either have a single mother, or two mothers.  The father is usually either completely out of the child's life, or plays a minor, and not always positive, role in their lives.  Most of the kids are still well adjusted, with two parents that care for them, but I think part of the reason some latch on to me so quickly is because I am a male.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways, I enjoy spending time with and playing with these kids.  However, I would love to help encourage the kids in any way I can.  I'm wondering if there is anything I can do as an 'Uncle' to help the encourage growth and positive development for the kids; beyond simply playing with them and making them feel important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, the kids are all generally already loved with good parents, in fact it's pretty much guaranteed that the parents are good parents who would raise the children well for me to know the family to begin with.  The kids aren't desperate for love or emotional support etc; though occasionally perhaps at least curious about having a male role model (though usually I'm not the sole male role model).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there things I can focus on to try to make the most of my limited visits with these kids while I'm with them?  Beyond playing and having fun, which is a given, what small things might I try to do to help encourage the children I'm playing 'Uncle' for?  Can I really have any impact on them with such infrequent visits, even if they do look forward to them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13387" LastEditorUserId="13387" LastEditDate="2015-07-06T18:58:09.493" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T12:46:32.930" Title="How to provide the most support to children as an 'uncle' with only monthly visits" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|pre-teen|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20999" CreationDate="2015-07-06T18:11:19.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just tell him flat out.  Be polite and understanding, but there isn't much else you can do.  It will hurt, but a child has to learn to cope with pains like this in life.  This is actually a good example of the exact sort of pain that helps a child learn to accept minor loses so he is more ready for any more major loses later in his life.  Just be honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would explain that he can't live with the family any more.  If he goes back to his birth parents then explain that.  However, I wouldn't distract him too much with the complexity of fostering, just explain he had to move on short notice, it wasn't his choice, but he needed to do it because the state thought it was best for him to move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned you can try to set up a play date with the son wherever he moved to.  In addition you cay try skype, which works well no matter where the son moved.  However, the child is likely still nearby, he would not be allowed to be moved outside of the region handled by the foster agency responsible for his case, which puts a certain maximum distance on how far he moved.  If you can reach him you can no doubt arrange at least one visit; rather or not he is close enough for regular visits.  Honestly, it could be really good for the other child to get to visit with an old playmate right after a change in foster parents, after such a huge change some level of normality like that can be great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The former foster parents will have contact information for the social worker in charge of the child's case.  Contact the social worker and ask her to relay your name and information to whoever is responsible for the child now.  There is a good chance that a play date could be set up, which would be a positive thing for both children.  However, rather or not that works out, which honestly you can't control, explaining the idea of a move and that sometimes things happen like this is good for your sons long term growth.  Make sure your son knows your friend still likes him and wants to visit, he just can't right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13387" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T18:11:19.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21041" CreationDate="2015-07-06T19:07:29.037" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't feel discouraged and don't think that there's nothing you can do and &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; let them marginalize your concerns.  It's true that doctors are often terrible at listening to us when we tell them something is wrong.  I don't know, maybe there's something in the doctor manual that says &quot;if what the patient says doesn't make sense to you assume she's just an ignorant hypochondriac&quot;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has your son been on antibiotics recently?  If he was, you might try the probiotics to help restore his damaged intestinal culture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's another possibility...have you had him tested for food allergies?  I have a lot of friends with kids with food allergies and intolerances, and chronic diarrhea seems to be one of the most common symptoms of a food related allergy (also itching and hives; does he get those?)  If the diarrhea came on suddenly and was just the one time it is less likely to be allergy, but you mentioned that it came and went.  Has he started eating anything recently that he never did before?  Or is there something that he eats just before having diarrhea?  Food allergies and intolerances can come on at any time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try different doctors...you have to find the ones who are a good fit for you and your child and you'll find help in the strangest places &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-08T01:11:03.500" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T01:11:03.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12393" CreationDate="2015-07-06T20:25:41.627" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instead of grounding her, why not start following her around or have a kid in the neighborhood keeping an eye out what she is really doing when cutting school. Or find a mentor for her someone she can look up too and not share their private conversations with you, because to a kid trust is very important, and when kids can confide in someone in their life and not worry about pressure from parents, can help too. Big Brothers was a big help to my youngest son because no matter what he confided he received a positive response.This helped him to manicure his thinking process. Parents can be too judgemental, critical and overbearing and a kid is less likely to spill the bean's. As for therapy there are free counciling in every community. But the whole magic to counciling is if you want it, and want change, if not counciling is unlikely to take effect. Counciling would also be helpful to the parents as well, so I would suggest all of you man and woman up and go to counciling together. I find in these times kids have less time with parents and vise versa. Having an intervention with people who care will show to this young lady for every action there is a re action, that her choices affect others and it is important to show people do care. Through puberty kids are so confused, trying to get attention, being alone a lot, the thrill or fitting into certain social groups, this is why they steal. As for lying they had to of see it in the home in the first place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17104" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-06T21:41:57.377" LastActivityDate="2015-07-06T21:41:57.377" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21076" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-06T20:37:03.233" Score="26" ViewCount="49306" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am becoming increasingly concerned by my wife's outbursts of anger. She has a very short fuse and very few coping strategies, so when something goes wrong (anything from a birthday party invite being declined, to a jar not opening first time, to being hungry), she is prone to rage, usually clenching fists, shouting and swearing and occasionally banging or throwing things. The anger is usually directed at the nearest person, regardless of whether that person has caused the issue. That person is usually me, but occasionally it's our two year old - and that is what is starting to concern me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want her to swear at our child, and even when the swearing is directed elsewhere I feel bad for our daughter who has to see this display of bad attitude. I confront my wife about it and she admits it's wrong and promises not to do it again - but she does. I genuinely don't think she has any control over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know she would never be intentionally violent towards our child but I know she is right on the border of losing control of her own actions. It is rare that the anger escalates to that point but there have been times that I have just wanted to snatch our daughter away and stand between us, just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've asked her to see a doctor or other professional (maybe anger management?) but she won't engage in that conversation at all. She's always been a bit like this, but the stresses of parenthood seem to bring it out more and more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's otherwise a perfectly intelligent, reasonable and loving person so I'm not interested in any just-leave-her comments. I'm just out of ideas about how to deal with this happening in front of our daughter, because I'm sure if it continues it will harm her emotionally in some way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17103" LastActivityDate="2016-12-06T03:35:51.753" Title="How do I deal with my wife's violent outbursts around our child?" Tags="|anger|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21077" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21110" CreationDate="2015-07-06T23:31:48.157" Score="1" ViewCount="1633" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler boy is 2.5yrs old.&#xA;He never sleeps throughout the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a steady bed-time pattern:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;9:00pm : Dinner (with Cartoons)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;9:30pm : Shower w/ Mom&lt;br&gt;&#xA;9:45pm: Simple Play&lt;br&gt;&#xA;10:00pm: 2 Bedtime Stories&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1:00 am : He wakes up asking for his milk or just mom.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(When we try to use the CryItOut Method, he either cries for 15min then passes out, or gets very upset and mom takes him into her bed, which is in the same room just one level up.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5:00 am : (same as above)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been happening for two years! And before that we admittedly had even less of a steady program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides the impact it has had on our work performance and relationship, I'm starting to really get worried about his mental health. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can someone provide a step-by-step solution?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a full day of school from 9-4pm and then goes to play outdoors at a kids park for one hour. He also watches an hour of YouTube every day. *Which he's very addicted to (but that's for another post)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm losing my mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17105" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-07T10:57:59.233" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:03:17.773" Title="Toddler never sleeps through the night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21076" CreationDate="2015-07-06T23:59:50.817" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're right to be concerned with regard to your daughter's emotional well-being. She is in for a very rough life (it doesn't end when she leaves home) if something doesn't change. In 1986, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0145213486900566&quot;&gt;Ney et al&lt;/a&gt; published a seminal study showing that of 5 kinds of abuse (physical, verbal, sexual, physical neglect and emotional neglect), verbally abused children were most negatively affected, with low self-esteem, self-directed anger, aggressive behavior and pessimism about their futures. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're an adult, and you can handle your wife's unpredictable (or predictable) mood swings. One reason is that as an adult, you know how to keep yourself safe. You are in a situation of being equally as (or maybe even more) powerful as your wife. You have power over your physical self. You can probably also remove yourself physically from an alarming situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter, however, is completely helpless, and depends on her parents to keep her safe in a world that has more than enough challenges to deal with. To allow her to be subjected to a volatile and frightening parent will do a considerable amount of psychological damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine, if you can, how you would feel about your wife's rages if you were in an accident and were consequently paraplegic with a limited ability to communicate. You are with her all day (no going off to work) and pretty much totally dependent on her. You have no way to help your wife calm down or to negotiate the situation. She's screaming down at you in your wheelchair, and you can't just roll yourself away. There's little you can do except endure her rage each time and hope she doesn't throw something at you or hit you this time. If you turn your back to her, will she get even angrier? If you can imagine that, you might have a window into your daughter's situation. Young children of emotionally labile parents &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201210/when-your-mother-has-borderline-personality&quot;&gt;are sometimes afraid their parent will kill them&lt;/a&gt;. Furthermore, your daughter has no recourse except to hope for your protection during these events, which are traumatic regardless of at whom the rage is directed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add to that the fact that young children think the world revolves around them. Your daughter will think it's her fault that mommy is so angry. She will grow up thinking she is a bad person who &lt;em&gt;deserves&lt;/em&gt; to be emotionally abused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say that you don't want to leave your wife, and I want to respect that. But know that to stay, you are acting as if her raging is acceptable behavior (in action, not words). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't protect your daughter while her mother is a primary caretaker. As you said,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I confront my wife about it and she admits it's wrong and promises not to do it again - &lt;strong&gt;but she does&lt;/strong&gt;. I genuinely don't think she has any control over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may think she's unable to control it, she might think she's unable to control it, but the truth is, she has no valid reason - none whatsoever, really - to refuse to seek help for her mood disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have many options if you want to stay in this relationship. Some of them are&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;start therapy yourself to learn why your wife behaves the way she does and how you can set healthy boundaries‡&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;to convince her to go for professional counseling and to stay in counseling as long as this is a problem&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;remove your daughter from this situation (can she live with her grandmother?) until your wife learns to control herself permanently&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the latter option legal? It is if your daughter is being abused (verbal abuse counts.) Start gathering proof with your smart phone, and store the evidence where she has no access to it. Likely she will rage at this as well, but it seems to me you need to start doing something radically different if you want her to get counseling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do for your daughter is limited, but every bit helps: love her, validate her, give her an emotional vocabulary so she can express herself ('scared/sad/mad/happy/etc.), make sure she knows that your wife's anger is not her fault, and protect her from your wife's rages. She needs you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;‡Your wife &lt;em&gt;blame-shifts&lt;/em&gt;: when she's angry, she blames someone or something else for behavior she engages in. It is likely that initially when you stand up to her, she will become angrier and will blame you. You need to be prepared (this is where your therapy will help) to handle this. It is likely to get worse before it gets better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;There's more literature here than you can shake a stick at.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=206635&quot;&gt;Childhood Adversities, Interpersonal Difficulties, and Risk for Suicide Attempts During Late Adolescence and Early Adulthood&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ocfcpacourts.us/assets/files/list-770/file-992.pdf&quot;&gt;Sticks, Stones, and Hurtful Words: Relative Effects &#xA;of Various Forms of Childhood Maltreatment&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006322308007920&quot;&gt;Preliminary Evidence for White Matter Tract Abnormalities in Young Adults Exposed to Parental Verbal Abuse&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032706000917&quot;&gt;Parental verbal abuse and the mediating role of self-criticism in adult internalizing disorders&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-07T06:27:10.677" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T06:27:10.677" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21080" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21097" CreationDate="2015-07-07T02:03:52.573" Score="10" ViewCount="422" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read pop neuroscience books as well as science sections on news sites (e.g. BBC, NY Times) and one of the claims I remember reading was that &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;supposedly&lt;/em&gt; listening to Mozart music made infants smarter.&lt;/strong&gt; Google searches on this topic turned up articles as early as 2007, so the idea has been in circulation for a while, even among mass audiences. Reasons given for the varied from promoting language skills to enhancing neural plasticity. But from a parenting perspective (the one I am interested in),  the basic question is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is the so-called &quot;Mozart effect&quot; a scientifically supported, developmental leg up or a media-fueled &quot;scientific legend&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, does my kid actually gain any advantage? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer this, consider the following questions: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Is the Mozart effect a scientifically substantiated fact? That is, does listening to classical music actually make infants smarter and lead to greater intelligence?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to distinguish this from merely becoming more educated due to studying music. I didn't grow up listening to Mozart and now I compose, so there are clearly many ways to learn music. But the critical claim is, if I take two groups of children and play Mozart for one and not the other, does the Mozart group gain some noticeable enhancement of intelligence? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17089" LastEditorUserId="17089" LastEditDate="2015-07-07T18:18:17.737" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T09:39:27.257" Title="Does playing classical music for infants and young children make them smarter?" Tags="|music|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20749" CreationDate="2015-07-07T03:43:59.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two types of lessons a child can learn from trying something and failing:  either to keep trying it until he gets it;  or, that &lt;em&gt;it's actually okay to fail&lt;/em&gt;.  That is, despite what his parents/teachers have been telling him, the world didn't end just because he gave up/didn't finish/flunked a course.  Or, nothing &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; bad happened when he failed, trying hard is frustrating, so why bother trying so hard next time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child fails at something he really wants, over and over, he may learn he's not good enough to have what he wants, and lower his expectations accordingly.  And he may also learn that he can't trust his parents when they tell him he can do it, because they're always wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your son's had a lot of experience with giving up, to the point where that's become his go-to strategy.   You want your son to learn to keep trying, but &lt;strong&gt;you can't learn to persist until you've seen persistence work for you&lt;/strong&gt;.   To make that happen for your son, you not only have to teach him that he can succeed if he persists, but you also have to get him to abandon something -- giving up -- that he has become comfortable with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way to do that is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to keep challenging him with something complicated until he pulls himself up by his boot straps and figures it out.  Yes, it worked for his cousins, but people are different; your (ADHD?) son doesn't have the same type of brain as his cousins, so you shouldn't have the same expectations.  (I am sure that showing a kid people swimming in a swimming pool and then throwing the kid into the swimming pool until he learns to swim would work for some large fraction of kids; but others would drown.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I'd give him little tiny one-step challenges he can master.  E.g., build him a small house in Minecraft, so he has somewhere to stay safe at night, and then challenge him to do a bunch of easy things:  Mine wood.  Plant a sapling.  Make the house bigger.  Make a chest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's mastered all these individual tasks, I'd challenge him to slightly more complicated things (make a garden with a fence? make a furnace? make armor?), etc., but first I'd try to get him comfortable with his new, persistent self by pointing out all his recent successes and telling him it's an outgrowth of his old self.  Tell him that people's brains get stronger and smarter when they get older.  Just like when he was three, he couldn't add 4 plus 5, but now he can; and just like &lt;em&gt;of course&lt;/em&gt; he can't change a car tire himself right now, but he'll be able to when he's eighteen... he's gotten better at persisting because his brain is getting stronger.  And the more practice he gets with difficult things, the smarter and stronger his brain will get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For even more complicated tasks (bookcases?), I would ask him to write down all the steps he's going to need.  Tell him you'll check his list when he's done, before he starts the task.  That way he can feels safe when he's extending himself to something tougher, and won't have to worry about failing.  This works even better outside Minecraft.  I get my daughter to do quite complicated things when I get her to write down all the steps first and check them for her.  And &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; gets to take the credit, since it was her list (even though I helped her check it), and she did it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also try to make sure, at least for now, that he never gets put in positions where he's likely to fail.  He needs to build up confidence in succeeding, for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, try to show him that failure now doesn't mean giving up on a problem forever.  E.g., sometimes sleeping on a problem means you find the answer easily the next day.  Point out, when they happen, any situations (a leaky faucet?) where you have to give up momentarily and call in help from an expert.  Point out that sometimes there is more than one way to solve a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I'd suggest talking to him about problems you may have encountered and ask his advice.  Get him used to being a problem solver.  See if he has any neat ideas, and if so, try to implement them.  E.g., &quot;Your sister wants me to put up this picture but there isn't any room for it in the living room.&quot;  He might suggest putting it up in her bedroom, and that would be something you could do then and there.  Ask if he'll help.  Or say, &quot;I wanted us to watch this movie this weekend but it's too late now, it's time for bed.&quot;  Hopefully he'll suggest doing it Saturday night, and you can say, &quot;Great, good idea, we'll do it!&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2015-07-09T12:50:31.990" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T12:50:31.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21076" CreationDate="2015-07-07T12:19:29.203" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't be more complete than @anongoodnurse, but I can say that you must treat this &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; seriously. You have to decide whether to take care of your wife, or to take care of your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your wife married each other, and part of that was a (perhaps implicit) promise to take care of each other. But, your wife is an adult. She has friends, relatives, resources. She can reason and make life-altering decisions. If she needed to leave to preserve herself, she could.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child, however, depends absolutely on her parents. She cannot change her circumstances; she can only change herself to adapt. She knows little beyond her small family; she's learning just what the world is about, and she's learning it from the two of you. If what happens to her feels wrong, she'll assume that the problem is her, not you, and change her world-model to fit. She is being formed, and it sounds like she's being formed in a damaged mold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given this choice, I think the answer is clear: you have to do what it takes to take care of your daughter. Beyond that, read @anongoodnurse's answer carefully, and reach out to people you trust for advice and support. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16884" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T12:19:29.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21076" CreationDate="2015-07-07T14:01:49.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have my respect - and alot of other people's I am sure - for posting here and wanting the best for your family situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know she would never be intentionally violent towards our child but I know she is right on the border of losing control of her own actions. It is rare that the anger escalates to that point but there have beentimes that I have just wanted to snatch our daughter away and stand between us, just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have very little to add to other answers, but have two small comments to add. It may be in these situations that you may need 'to stand up to' your wife though this can be really difficult. I think also it may be helpful if your wife is prepared to apologize afterwards with you daughter about. I don't know if either of these points would be helpful for your situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I may be completely wrong here, but something that might be going on here is 'baby blues' or post-natal depression in your wife - given your child is 2 years. If this is part of what is going on then finding out about it may lead to possible ways forward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17110" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-07-07T14:46:35.697" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T14:46:35.697" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21086" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21089" CreationDate="2015-07-07T14:15:07.543" Score="15" ViewCount="4583" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old son tends to default to saying no changes in activity (even if he is clearly no longer interested in the current activity).  Overall he is helpful, considerate, and will do things we ask around the house but he will just generally dismiss any proposed activity if it isn't the one we are currently doing.  This is even true for things that we know he likes and has done before (e.g., going to the pool). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally we can get him to go along with some cajoling but the ensuing battle will often take on a life of its own independent of the conflict.  Further, it doesn't seem a battle is the best approach every time we want to do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't expect or want blind obedience but rather for him to base his opinions on a genuine consideration of what we are doing not just defaulting to no. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is a more constructive way to approach changes in activity to avoid default contrarianism. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T17:15:35.140" Title="What is the most appropriate way to address contrarianism in a 4-year-old?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21087" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-07T14:20:00.837" Score="1" ViewCount="219" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a good website or book that describes and compares the current leading approaches to disciplining pre-school and school aged children.  I realize that there are numerous opinions on the best approach to discipline for children and that they likely have different strengths and weaknesses.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for a site or book that will allow me to learn about and evaluate the current leading schools of thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="303" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T18:36:05.777" Title="Is there a good summary of the different discipline philosophies for pre-school and school aged childern" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21086" CreationDate="2015-07-07T14:26:10.483" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually, kids tends to accept change better if they're prepared and know what will come. I would then go that way and expose the short-term planning to him : now you can play there, but in 30 minutes we'll be going to the pool, then to the movie. Once at the pool, be a bit more accurate : around 3PM we'll be going out the pool and go to the movie, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it doesn't let much space for spontaneity, but you should already be seeing an improvement on day-to-day tasks, and then probably be more an more spontaneous. Note that not all adults like spontaneity neither, that's no necessarily a quality, some planning is sometimes helpfull :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastEditorUserId="4510" LastEditDate="2015-07-07T14:37:57.637" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T14:37:57.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21086" CreationDate="2015-07-07T15:09:53.893" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;Often the solution here is as simple as reframing the request. So if he is playing with blocks and it's time to leave for school, no matter how much advance notice you give and no matter that you leave for school at the same time every day, when you announce &quot;time to leave for school!&quot; he may well resist and refuse and generally push back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So try asking him a question and giving him control. I have seen amazing success with literally asking &quot;which shoe do you want to put on first?&quot; or &quot;shoes first or coat first today?&quot; (You may have encountered a version of this when a sales person asks you whether Tuesday or Thursday would be better for them to stop by and demo their product to you.) &lt;em&gt;I expect you disbelieve. I know I did. Try it once and let me know. Prepare to be amazed.&lt;/em&gt; Since you don't intend to discuss whether or not you are going to school, to the pool, to the dinner table etc, why introduce it as a topic? If a totally out of context shoe question would be weird, then &quot;School time! Shoes first or coat first?&quot; works well. You can also ask &quot;do you want 5 more minutes of X before we leave for Y, or just go right now?&quot; but if he doesn't choose &quot;Right now&quot; then you may have an issue in 5 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also had good success with natural penalties for dawdling. Simply leave 5 or 10 minutes of extra time before any transition. For example, if you're headed to school, plan for 5 minutes in the park on the way. Any dawdling will cut into park time. No dawdling, 5 minutes in the park. In your case it's not so much dawdling as resisting and delaying, but whatever. Many families do this with number of bedtime stories. Head up now, it's 4 books. As time goes by it's 3 or 2 (don't let it get to none you will both be unhappy.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids that age want to control their lives. If the only control you offer them is to say no to your requests, that's what you'll get. So offer them something (something real) and you'll both be happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T15:09:53.893" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21086" CreationDate="2015-07-07T17:15:35.140" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if it's the case for you, but one thing I see a lot of parents of strong-willed children do repeatedly is ask a question, then get frustrated when the child answers in the negative.  If a negative answer is not acceptable, then don't ask a question!  Reserve questions for when you are honestly okay with any response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bad:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do you want to go to the pool now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It's time to go to the pool now.  Put on your bathing suit, please.  Which one are you going to wear today?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even better is if you can involve him in the planning.  Kids are people too.  They like to have a say in their lives, even if there are large parts of the schedule they cannot change.  A conversation like the following can be helpful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I want to go to the pool today when they open at noon, then afterward have a quick lunch and take a nap.  What do you want to do before that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, kids aren't very good at creating their own closure.  Try to give them plenty of warning, and help provide a sense of finality about the current activity:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;After the trains go around the track 5 more times, they will be done, then we can get ready to go to the pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared to negotiate the definition of &quot;done,&quot; within reason.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also have a consequence for a bad attitude, but I try to do this only after every other consideration, because their feelings are valid even if the behavior isn't:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are you stalling and complaining because you only want 4 more times around the track?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another very effective and more natural consequence is simply to miss out on the new activity:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I told you it was time to get ready, but you didn't, and now there isn't enough time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T17:15:35.140" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21092" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-07T19:16:07.200" Score="5" ViewCount="302" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't think of a way to better title this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is a direct response to a recent news event. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wdbj7.com/news/local/roanoke-boys-birthday-party-goes-viral-family-feels-reddit-hug/34026818&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;You can read the article online&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the scenario:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child with a condition socially impairs him, in this case a speech delay known as apraxia, was having a public birthday celebration. The parents, uncertain that anyone but close family would attend, created a Facebook event that went viral worldwide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In response, more than 300 people, primarily strangers, attended the child's event, bringing hundreds of gifts, with more being shipped via online orders. Much of this is because of the action of the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.reddit.com/r/UpliftingNews/comments/3cdwtu/reddit_you_did_it_300_people_showed_up_at_a/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Reddit&lt;/a&gt; community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Responses such as this from the Internet happen occasionally, ranging from raising money for medical bills, sending pizza to children's hospitals, and now making amazing birthday celebrations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My questions are:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the implications of such a large turnout on the psychological and emotional health of children who receive such enormous gifts (if not quite so enormous as this)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do you properly guide their expectations about such events in the future, to help them realize, in a healthy manner, than such an occurrence is not likely to happen again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a child of your own, that may or may not have social development issues, who reads such articles, how do you help them realize that such events are not typical for every child and that shouldn't necessarily expect the same?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm hoping there is some base psychology/sociology information that deals with similar events, if not the same events. For instance, I've recently read (still searching for articles) about the negative effects of military parents' surprise public homecomings. Those are also situations that are atypical for children, have a huge immediate impact on the child's life, and may or may not involve a lot of community members.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: I've had time to think about the question more, so I'd like to provide the following:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this is given as multiple questions, and am willing to break it down into separate questions if necessary, but I'm really asking one overarching question:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;What are the short-term and long-term psychological, emotional, and social outcomes of such events on children in unusual spotlights and children that witness/learn about such unusual events?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;My multiple questions are intended to be &lt;em&gt;guidance&lt;/em&gt; towards answering the larger question, not as discrete questions requiring dedicated answers. Although, I suppose there &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; an implied follow-up question being:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;If any of these outcomes are negative, how do you, as a parent, mitigate them?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-07T21:25:58.393" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T00:55:50.653" Title="What are the outcomes of highly unusual community outreach to young children?" Tags="|social-development|mental-health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21093" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-07T20:51:19.733" Score="0" ViewCount="85" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for a tool I can use to work out what is causing my son to vomit. It's happening during or after eating so I assume a connection to what was eaten. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quickly log what was in each meal (Meat, soya, vegetables, additives, spices etc) at either a high level or in detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Log what happens. I want to log vomiting and gas and other symptoms as separate events from meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Combine observations from mum dad and the nursery (the nursery log a vague description on a website).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for correlations across different lengths of time. I don't know (don't want to assume) whether the issue is taking hours or minutes to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like the idea of an app with cloud based data sharing so we can work as a team. Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13599" LastActivityDate="2015-07-31T13:29:38.980" Title="Tools to log and analyse a toddlers diet" Tags="|allergies|diet|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21093" CreationDate="2015-07-07T21:03:08.147" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.trixietracker.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Trixie Tracker&lt;/a&gt; has a section for eating, as far as I can recall. You have to pay for that. It stores data online.&#xA;I don't know if it will correlate data, but you can enter observations about meals. I has been 3 years since I have used it, so you may want to double check. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://carezone.com/home&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Care Zone&lt;/a&gt; has tools for managing anyones health. It is mostly about medications and illnesses, but it has a journal for tracking. You can have a team of persons taking care of another person, or your self. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are both journal based, and shares data. I don't know of any app/website where you have a predetermined list of checkboxes, and data correlation. For that, it might useful to have a shared spreadsheet (google docs, ms office 364 on skydrive, others)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-07-07T21:03:08.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20885" CreationDate="2015-07-08T03:54:39.337" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to echo the recommendations for forcing naps every 1.5 to 2 hours, as well as the recommendation for swaddling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter will not sleep unless we actively force a nap on her. Since we increased the frequency to every 2 hours, it has helped combat her colicky cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there's a chance that he doesn't actually hate swaddling. Fighting it does not mean they dislike it. Newborns do not have much going on in the way of deliberate motor control. My colicky 6-week daughter suffers similar issues with refusing to sleep anywhere other than our arms, and even then tight swaddling with a blanket that is at least 40 inches square must be part of her calming routine. The fact that she flails and breaks free if left alone in it doesn't change the fact that she needs it. Without a swaddle, the only position I can have her in is the shoulder position you describe. With it, many other holds also work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T03:54:39.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21080" CreationDate="2015-07-08T09:33:44.193" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Basically it's all marketing wearing a lab coat.  Nothing in the research supports a 'Mozart effect'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The original research used to support the 'Mozart effect' is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8413624&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Music and spatial task performance (Rauscher et al.)&lt;/a&gt; which demonstrated a performance improvement:-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lasting 10-15 minutes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in adults&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;for specific types of spatial-temporal tests&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;general intelligence and cognitive ability remain unaffected&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing in the original research relates to children or to any kind of permanent effect.  The effects that were observed were not statistically significant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When repeated by another team in 1999 with a larger group of approximately 120 subjects the improvement in results in the tests was not statistically significant either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Related experiments were conducted on children but those children were taught to read music and play instruments for 6 months - not just listen passively or as background music.  They showed a 30% improvement over other groups of similar children in a spatial-temporal test but no longer term studies were done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1281386&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Mozart&#xA;Effect&lt;/a&gt; in the&#xA;Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://lrs.ed.uiuc.edu/students/lerch1/edpsy/mozart_effect.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Mozart Effect: A Closer Look&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T09:39:27.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21093" CreationDate="2015-07-08T10:03:33.913" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm using &lt;a href=&quot;https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=au.com.penguinapps.android.babyfeeding.client.android.pro&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Feed Baby (Pro)&lt;/a&gt; to track feeding, sleeping, diapers and so on. I find it very user-friendly, for example you tap to log what is going on now, and you hold to log an event that happend in the past.&#xA;You can just select and tap to add an event without details or add a short note. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has cloud backup, and you can synchronize accross devices. The reporting works well enough for my needs. If you need more, you can export your data in csv-format (&quot;comma separated values&quot;) for further analysis in Excel or R, or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7062" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T10:03:33.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21100" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-08T11:52:38.417" Score="3" ViewCount="252" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently received word from someone with a psychology background that the American Medical Association (AMA) came out with a stance against ADHD being a valid illness or diagnosis.  I have been unable to find such an authoritative statement in my own research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone seen such a ruling or statement or something that would be interpretable as such? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4380" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T20:48:23.780" Title="Authoritative stance of AMA against ADHD?" Tags="|learning|adhd|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21100" CreationDate="2015-07-08T12:42:31.857" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first hit on google leads to &lt;a href=&quot;http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=187401&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this 1998 paper&lt;/a&gt; written for the AMA's Council on Scientific Affairs which says precisely the opposite of your psychologist friend. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...there is little evidence of widespread overdiagnosis or misdiagnosis of ADHD or of widespread overprescription of methylphenidate by physicians.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In 2006, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/2007/06/cprl1-0706.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AMA *Journal of Ethics&lt;/a&gt; published a piece intended to help all doctors become more aware of the prevalence of and how to diagnose ADHD, stating:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;ADHD is a chronic disorder that affects a substantial number of American children. Untreated, the symptoms of ADHD can make the developmental tasks of childhood nearly impossible and place children at increased risk for depression, school failure and substance abuse as they grow older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In 2015, the Journal of the American Medical Association ran &lt;a href=&quot;http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=2297179&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a piece&lt;/a&gt; about the potential underuse of behavioral therapy for kids with ADHD, stating that while ADHD had been treated with medication, behavioral therapy, or dietary supplements the findings indicate &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...that behavioral therapy may have been underused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps this is what your acquaintance was talking about?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, unless that person can direct you to the appropriate literature (and if they really know what they are talking about that shouldn't be a challenge), or you can find corroboration from an expert, you should probably treat what they say as hearsay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16406" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-08T15:18:20.123" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T15:18:20.123" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21102" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21104" CreationDate="2015-07-08T14:25:35.557" Score="7" ViewCount="92339" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is almost 2 years old and he still wakes in the night to drink. I know he &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/302/at-what-age-do-kids-start-sleeping-through-the-night?rq=1&quot;&gt;is&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1711/how-do-we-help-our-toddler-to-sleep-through-the-night?rq=1&quot;&gt;not&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/21077/toddler-never-sleeps-through-the-night&quot;&gt;alone&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I would like to get a full night's sleep, I have been contemplating watering down his formula to get him to stop expecting food at nighttime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But here is the thing: he gets a bottle at 8 (of which he usually only drinks 120ml - 4 ounces for you at the other side of the big water). If he wakes around 12 that is 4 hours since his bottle and 5.5 hours since his last solid meal. If he wakes between 2 and 4, it has been 6 to 8 hours since he last ate anything, and only a small bottle at that. Some nights he will wake twice to drink, around midnight and around 4 or 6.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it reasonable to expect a small child to go for 10 hours without food? I know that some kids do sleep through the night but how common or even healthy is it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a grown up with plenty of reserves, for me it is no problem to sleep 10 hrs if I would get the chance or to skip a meal. But he is growing (fast), his metabolism is fast and he has little reserves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe instead of striving to cut out the night drinking altogether, I should try to make sure it is only one bottle somewhere between 2 and 4?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;: From the answers I conclude that toddlers can sleep all night without extra milk and that the way to achieve this is to make the evening bottle into a small meal with extra solid food.&#xA;This leads me to conclude the problem is in the daytime feeding schedule: evening meal is at 6:30 (on daycare days we are rarely at home before 6). Evening bottle is at 8, 8:30. At this point he is not very hungry yet so only drinks about 2/3.&#xA;Breakfast is around 8. But with all the drinking, he is not very hungry in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additional question: When toddlers sleep through the night, how are the following spaced: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dinner &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;evening snack and/or bottle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;breakfast&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7062" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:02:26.710" LastActivityDate="2018-09-10T11:06:46.310" Title="Should toddlers drink milk during the night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|food|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21103" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-08T14:43:02.823" Score="4" ViewCount="149" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two daughters; one is 2 years old and the other was born a week ago. Right now, daughter 2 is sleeping a lot and doesn't cry much, but if my experience of the first was anything to go by, that will last for about 3 more weeks and then she'll be more difficult to get to sleep (and noisier).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are effective strategies to help both of them to sleep?  (Currently our eldest sleeps in the next room to us, while our newborn sleeps in the same room as us.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4888" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T19:03:24.233" Title="How do I help my elder child's sleep not to be disrupted by her sister?" Tags="|bedtime|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21102" CreationDate="2015-07-08T15:48:08.550" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is totally reasonable to expect him to do a full night. Our 2.5 girl has been doing full nights since she was 4 months or so, and here (Belgium, but France too for what I know) it is considered usual for a kid to sleep all night before he is 1. I know it's quite different in the USA for example, and anyway all kids don't follow the same pattern... but I was already happy after 4 months so I can only imagine how impatient you can be&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now about your issue, you will first have to identify why he is waking up. If it's indeed because of hunger, my advice would be to feed him more. You can do this either by adding some &quot;matter&quot; in the bottle : make it a banana formula-shake, add some biscuit powder or there even exists some powder to make it more &quot;thick&quot; (sorry if that's not clear, english is not my main language), either by proposing an &quot;extra&quot; to the bottle: my girl usually eats a small milk bread with either cheese, jam, nutella or even some meat. At first we had to propose her, now we really can't forget about it else she makes us understand :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be carefull, but you probably have noticed that already, that babies quickly take (bad) habits, so it might aswell be he's used to it. Maybe if you let him cry without waking up or feeding him, he will just stop in a matter of days. That sometimes can be very surprising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T15:48:08.550" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21102" CreationDate="2015-07-08T20:06:23.543" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;No&lt;/em&gt;, toddlers should not (regularly) drink milk or formula during the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The major reason for this is tooth decay.  Toddlers have a fairly full set of teeth, and formula in particular has a lot of plain old sugar in it.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/teething-tooth-care/Pages/How-to-Prevent-Tooth-Decay-in-Your-Baby.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Putting them to bed with a bottle&lt;/a&gt;, or even feeding them immediately before they sleep for 4-6 hours, is bad for their teeth, and can lead to early cavities. (And, yes, toddlers even as young as two can have cavities.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, on a very infrequent basis, is this a problem?  No, of course not.  One night's milk isn't going to make any teeth fall out.  But doing it every day, or most days, is a bad idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as stopping, I would follow advice provided on this site for younger children; basically, just stop the feedings (perhaps with an initial explanation) and simply comfort your child back to sleep.  Yes, a child that age should be able to sleep 8-10 hours in a stretch without food.  They have plenty of reserves, and their metabolism slows significantly during sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would remove formula entirely (unless the pediatrician has reasons otherwise of course) - as per &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19019/is-organic-whole-cows-milk-better-than-toddler-milk-powder-for-a-1-year-old&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt;, it's unnecessary - and replace with milk, and additional solid food.  Regular, solid food will sit in the stomach longer and help feel full longer.  He also may be waking up wanting formula because it's sweet and tastes good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also verify that the child isn't waking up &lt;em&gt;thirsty&lt;/em&gt;.  If the room is very air-conditioned or very warm - both common in the summer - the child may be getting dehydrated.  Feel his saliva level when he wakes, make sure his mouth isn't very dry.  Also see how he sleeps - if he's a mouth breather still at that age he may be getting a dry mouth as a result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T20:06:23.543" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21102" CreationDate="2015-07-08T22:49:46.810" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's really a big difference between US and Europe.  Here in the US we are on solid food at 6 months and milk whenever you stop breast feeding (12 mo - 18 mo).  The biggest problem you have is you need to brush his teeth again after that bottle.  We stopped midnight feedings probably at 1 year.  I think you just need to show some tough love if you don't want to continue the nightly feedings and tooth brushing anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11802" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T22:49:46.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21003" CreationDate="2015-07-08T22:53:03.420" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he loves giving a hug after hitting her then you could be accidentally reinforcing the bad behavior.  I'd keep with time out instead.  It helps to teach him other ways to show that something is &quot;his&quot;.  Our daycare really emphasizes that the kids need to say &quot;mine mine&quot; when another child tries to take their toy.  It gives them a way to express themselves.  Without expressing their feelings verbally they will do it non-verbally by biting or hitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11802" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T22:53:03.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20584" CreationDate="2015-07-08T22:57:39.553" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure you can find a way to interest them in visiting you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you could focusing on finding ways to show your interest in them. Call them on holidays or other times, ask how they are doing, if they have plans for the occasion, how education or work is going (depending on their ages) and other easy to talk about items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe, if you can, coordinate with their Mother to visit once in a while during key times. For example, if they are about to start a school year there will most likely be clothing and supplies that are needed. Be sure to set a small limit, worked out in advance, and make it an occasion to offer a bit of support and stay in touch personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have noted it is difficult to provide a good answer without some idea of ages. If your kids have moved out on their own then things are going to be different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyhow, if you make the effort to stay involved in their lives and demonstrate your care and concern you stand a much better chance of having your children return that effort -- though of course during young adulthood they may drift away for a time. Whatever you do focus on them and not on what you can provide for them or they will get the wrong message.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm divorced and have split custody myself. However, I'm lucky in that my ex and I live close together and the kids alternate where they are staying on a weekly basis. Having a peaceful and respectful relationship with your ex is helpful. That is something else than might be repaired with apology and long term demonstrated respect in the event that there is a rough past or residual distrust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastEditorUserId="17123" LastEditDate="2015-07-08T23:06:33.007" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T23:06:33.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12393" CreationDate="2015-07-08T23:41:11.197" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to some of the good ideas already offered it occurs to me that there could be something wrong or damaging going on in her life that is not visible to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, if there is something that she is unable to deal with and unable to share there will be no amount of grounding and punishment that will make things better. Perhaps switch things up a bit and look for positive things to notice and at least praise? It may be hard to reward good behaviors while these types of things are going on but praising other things won't condone bad behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it would be worth taking a week off and spending some quality time together, perhaps away from home, to see if you could both let go of recent strife and get some real insight into what is going on. Without knowing the age there could be issues with self-esteem, teasing, bullying, drugs, boys, inappropriate behavior from an authority figure, parents divorced or focused on work, betrayal, blackmail - who knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, I have an active imagination and can worry more than I should, but if it is nothing but a phase it won't hurt to consider and rule out other more harmful issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastActivityDate="2015-07-08T23:41:11.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21077" CreationDate="2015-07-09T09:18:39.503" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can only provide my opinion and (so far) experience about that. I have son (almost 4) and a daughter (15 months), and both sleep fine. I can't say how much depends on their characters, genetics, etc. But nevertheless, one advice that I have read, that we followed, and turned out quite successful for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Never take your child in your bed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the very first month up to three months, it might help, but &lt;strong&gt;for us&lt;/strong&gt;, starting from 4 months on, it was very rare. From 6 months on they were sleeping in their own room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they wake up crying during the night, you go to their bed, try to tranquilize them. When they are very young, most of the time just seeing you or hearing you is enough. Maybe stay a bit until they calm down. If that really does not work, take them in your arms. And if they need to eat something or so, do provide, of course. But try as best as you can NOT to bring them in your bed. Your bed is yours and his bed is his. He has to learn to separate individuals and the space of each and everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a related note, I once read a book about what is the importance of the father in the first months/years of life of their children. Babyies are born with a feeling that they and their mother form a single entity. The fathers are there to cut the tie (cut the cord is, in that sense very symbolic), and help the child to learn a conscience of self. By bringing your child in your bed, you are slowing that learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, back to your case, I don't think (not an expert, remember), that your son has any mental health issue. But if they can stay with their beloved parents, they will. I know quite a few children who do that. Now, how to go from where you stand? I would recommend the following steps&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain (he will eventually understand), that he has to sleep in his bed, and that his parents sleep in theirs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure he has enough to eat at dinners. I know some parents who always stop their child before he was full. That doesn't help children to sleep too well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he wakes up, go to him, talk to him, and possibly stay with him until he falls asleep again, but do not let him in your bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I would expect that the previous steps are enough, but you might want to limit his food intake in the middle of the night: provide less progressively so that he looses the custom to eat at those hours. Consider replacing milk with water. But it has to be progressive, right now, his body is used to a night intake of food.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be patient&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;be consistent&lt;/strong&gt;. If the rules change all the time it will destabilize the child's routine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will not be done in two days, I can guarantee. To change a habit, you need at least a few weeks, and it can quite easily stretch for two months. So that won't solve your immediate problems of strained work and relationships, but it will eventually solve that part of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;And for the relationship part, my suggestion is that you sit down together and decide together on the best course to follow.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A note on the TV part that appears in the comments. We are very relaxed about that, having ourselves watched much TV in our days (and still do). It might not help, but that is certainly not the only factor for the sleepless nights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16752" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-09T21:01:01.657" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T21:01:01.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12393" CreationDate="2015-07-09T09:49:29.437" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the other answers I want to recommend you to get counseling for yourself and your husband too. As a person with mental issues I experienced that my problems were hard to accept/understand for my mother and the people around me. They didn't know how to handle me and they hurt me without noticing (and how could they know). The problem is that things that are perfectly normal for other people can be pretty hard to impossible when you have problems with your mental health. For the people around you it can be hard to understand why you can't do these &quot;normal&quot; things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is not always a definite reason or problem you can just solve so I can imagine you experience some helplessness in some degree. Thats ok, thats what counseling is for. You and your daughter need both learn to handle these problems. It is important that you show her that you give your best to understand her. Don't punish her but try to help her reflect what she did and why. And don't be disappointed if she doesn't want to speak to you about her problems but try to provide her someone she can trust. It can be very hard to speak to people dear to you about your problems, because you don't want to dissapoint or are scared of rejection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that the problems your daughter experiences don't have to be rational at all. But even if they are not rational they are as scary and troubling as if they were. If this is the case you still should take them seriously, because for your daughter they are real.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all I wish you the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17126" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T09:49:29.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21102" CreationDate="2015-07-09T11:53:25.723" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;While most two-year-olds should not be waking because of hunger in the middle of the night, every person's metabolism is different.  That said, do you have reason to suspect his is higher than most?  Does he run around more than his peers, does he eat more, is he thinner, or is he growing faster?   Otherwise he just may have gotten into the habit of getting his calories then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, you can change this.  If you truly think he has a higher metabolism, you need to change what he is getting right before bed to something with more calories, then try to change his sleep pattern.  Otherwise I'd consider it a sleep training issue only, for which there are many different suggestions already presented on this web site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has a super high metabolism.  Looking back at things like her growth patterns and her ability to maintain body temperature through morning -- though she is a very heavy sleeper and always slept through the night -- I think she should have had more calories before going to bed.  (Children do a lot of their growing during sleep, when the brain releases human growth hormone.)  Instead of the 1-2 cups of milk before teeth-brushing and bedtime, I probably should have been giving her a high calorie shake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T11:53:25.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21072" CreationDate="2015-07-09T12:21:32.413" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;For each family, find things you do well or enjoy that the parent(s) do not, and find a &lt;strong&gt;fun&lt;/strong&gt; way to bring the children into your world -- assuming they're old enough for that activity.  Do you like fly fishing, but this couple does not?  Take the kid(s) fly fishing.  Do you like art museums but this family never seems to go to one?  Take them to an art museum.  Does this single mom not know how to change the oil in her car or build a chicken coop?   Have her kid(s) help you do that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And yes, I know that one's a stereotype, but I would love it if someone would ask to borrow my daughter the next time they have to repair their deck or put in a new window.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T12:21:32.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21072" CreationDate="2015-07-09T12:46:32.930" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A totally different (and probably complementing) aproach from Ossum's Mom's brilliant answer (+1) would be to make sure that these children feel that they are important to you. That they matter to you as opposed to you being just &quot;that funny person that stops by&quot;. That is, talk to them, listen actively &lt;em&gt;and remember what they tell you&lt;/em&gt;. At the next visit, show them that you listened by asking a related question.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Examples: If they tell you one month that they will visit the zoo with their school and hope to see the lions, ask what the lions did. Or send a postcard wishing them luck for the upcomming sports match at the correct time. Bring a newspaper clipping about an event that you discussed. ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if you volunteer with many children remembering all these facts can be a hassle. I'll let you in a basic sale secret:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Keep a file of these matters and prepare yor next visit by refreshing your memory. Note important upcoming events in your calendar or set a reminder in your phone/computer. You could even track current fads and interests so if you stumble about these .99c Monster High stickers you will know that this will be a &quot;better&quot; gift than $5 worth of chocolate - double gain. This is not cheating, but a small effort that can make a big difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To matter to another person is in my experience a great and valuable gift that can have a big impact even if you are a rare visitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T12:46:32.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20749" CreationDate="2015-07-09T13:27:38.447" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, I have had this exact same experience with my own son. We would play Minecraft and he would not set any goals. I quickly gave up on trying to convince him to set goals and found out he'd rather work on creative mode and do whatever strikes his fancy. So, that's where we are with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he does play Pokemon as do many of his peers. Here I find he is competing with his friends and feels a need to accomplish things as his friends do. At home, I'll look up instructions for some complex activities on YouTube so he can watch them and learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At times he gets frustrated that a lot of work is involved. At this point I encourage him not to give up by asking him if he wants to achieve X like his friends did. He will say yes and then I suggest that instead of complaining about it he should decide to do what it takes or decide not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Invariably he'll buckle down and get the job done. At this point I'll ask him if it feels good to have made that accomplishment. He'll say yes. I'll ask if he appreciates the accomplishment more because it was difficult to achieve. Again, he'll usually say yes. If I ask if he is looking forward to show his friends he'll say yes again. I'll relate that many things in life are like that -- valuable because they require work to achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that I'll let him connect the dots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, key points, find something that your child really wants to achieve. Lack of a goal makes perseverance hard to come by. Support their effort to achieve this but don't replace their effort with your own... but do give support or advice if requested. My view is that asking questions about their achievement and letting them figure out that perseverance can lead to good things works better than laying out the logic involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a tendency to explain/describe and have been working on myself to ask questions and go for self-realization. I notice that after asking questions on an issue at least once my son will develop some understanding in the area on his own and be more able to deal with related issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I simply tell him how things work it gets dumped out as dad going on about something again. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T13:27:38.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21100" CreationDate="2015-07-09T20:48:23.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, the AMA has made no such stance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have combed the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/news/newsroom-index-2015.page?&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;AMA's Press Releases&lt;/a&gt; from the last several months, with no mention of anything related to the validity of AD/HD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Historically, as outlined in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/21101/11394&quot;&gt;user15736's answer&lt;/a&gt;, the AMA has been &lt;em&gt;for&lt;/em&gt; AD/HD as a valid diagnoses, and it would be highly unusual for them to release an opposing stance. So unusual would this be, I contend, that it would surely have made it's way to various media outlets and websites, and it would this be easy to find with a quick Google search.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also looked for information from the American Psychological Association (APA), which may have been confused with the AMA. However, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/search.aspx?query=adhd&amp;amp;fq=&amp;amp;sort=ContentDateSort%20desc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;searching their resources&lt;/a&gt; shows not only that they still support AD/HD, but already have &lt;em&gt;future&lt;/em&gt; materials planned on the matter, such as a children's book, &lt;em&gt;Learning to Be Kind and Understand Differences: Empathy Skills for Kids With AD/HD&lt;/em&gt;, due to be released in October of this year (3 months from now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, the person who gave you this information has likely misread or misinterpreted other information, or attributed information they found to an incorrect source. It would be best to ask them for the exact source they received the information from. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-07-09T20:48:23.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21102" CreationDate="2015-07-09T22:12:48.213" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't say that toddlers 'should' drink milk at night but I think it's pretty normal that they would want to. The natural age for weaning (ie stopping breastfeeding) for children is around 3-5 years old and since formula is generally used as a substitute for breastfeeding, I would expect that children may continue to want it until a similar age. Night feeds are important for a mother to maintain her milk supply as that's when the breastfeeding hormones are highest. Therefore I would say that your son is doing what comes naturally to him. He doesn't know the difference between how formula and breastmilk work. I know many people whose children continued to feed at night well past being a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a couple of interesting articles about the age of natural weaning:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/norma_jane_bumgarner2.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/norma_jane_bumgarner2.html&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/ba/aug94.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.llli.org/ba/aug94.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are talking about breastfeeding rather than formula so it won't be the same but I think it's an interesting point to start thinking about how children wean if allowed to do it in their own time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand there are plenty of toddlers and even few month old babies who don't drink milk at night and manage fine so it's not generally necessary for toddlers to drink milk at night. If it doesn't suit your lifestyle - you need to work in the day rather than stay home and take a nap with the toddler, then there are ways to reduce and eventually stop night milk. However, it usually takes some effort and involve some upset to the toddler. Whilst going through the process, I think it's helpful to remember that your son is not asking for milk to be annoying and it's not just a bad habit, it's a natural and common desire so be gentle with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also need to think about working the other way round - reducing the milk to increase the daytime food intake. If your son drinks a lot of milk at night, he may not feel that hungry in the day to increase his food intake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I certainly understand why you want to stop the night milk, I also have a night feeding toddler and would like a full night's sleep and have tried various ways to encourage that. But I wanted to offer an alternative view to the one which is popular now, that babies 'should' sleep through the night from a young age. I believe this is more a result of current parenting styles, particularly the popularity of sleep training rather than what comes naturally to the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-07-10T07:17:46.883" LastActivityDate="2015-07-10T07:17:46.883" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18862" CreationDate="2015-07-10T11:53:08.467" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most common problem during pregnancy is constipation. Causes of constipation during pregnancy may be: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hormonal changes, which makes digestive system sluggish&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;consumption of oral iron tablets&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dehydration, stress&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;enlargement of uterus and pelvic pain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try these natural remedies to relieve constipation&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is very important to keep your body hydrated during pregnancy. Which can help in easy bowel movements.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drink warm lemon water everyday in the morning, it can help boost your bowel movements.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cabbage is an amazing source of fiber, It is very good to treat constipation. Drink cabbage soup to regularize bowel movements.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drinking a glass of warm milk before going to bed also helps to relieve from constipation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yogurt also helps to treat constipation problem effectively&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some natural ways to get relief from constipation. I hope this will help you &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/natural-ways-to-tackle-constipation-during-pregnancy_0083681/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/natural-ways-to-tackle-constipation-during-pregnancy_0083681/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-07-10T11:53:08.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21120" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-10T14:44:09.650" Score="7" ViewCount="994" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has been potty trained now for well over a year. He'll wake up dry most of the nights but when he's at daycare ( a private home) he won't go to the bathroom unless he's told. He'll have an accident maybe 1-2 times a month. I see it as &quot;an accident&quot;. The teacher see's it as a problem. She's informing me that if she didn't tell him to go, he would have daily accidents. I need help. I have taken toys/games away, I've taken TV away. They have made him sit on the toilet for a little bit, they have put him in time out. He will be starting VPK in just a few weeks and I do not want this issue to happen at school. He knows when he has to use the bathroom, he just won't tell anyone and then he'll have an accident. He also holds his bowels until it's too late. But I have been doing some research on that, and he poops everyday, several times a day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to make sure I'm doing all I can for my son. If I have to contact his DR then I will. I need some help. He'll be 5 in February.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17133" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-07-10T17:53:34.423" LastActivityDate="2023-09-30T02:08:42.007" Title="My 4 1/2 year old has been potty trained since 3 but is having accidents and not going to the bathroom by himself" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21020" CreationDate="2015-07-10T18:50:08.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Check whether a vitamin supplement is (medically) appropriate for his age. It was the usual solution when I was a kid, but I'm not sure whether it is accepted practice in the USA.&#xA;Something else is to lower the milk consumption (but not liquids overall).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17136" LastActivityDate="2015-07-10T18:50:08.687" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12393" CreationDate="2015-07-11T04:20:55.027" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Making our teen daughter watch documentaries showcasing other peoples hardship, tragedies and/or lifestyle helped my daughter stop cutting.  Also I was able to share my experiences with attempted suicide.  This seemed to also be important.  They need to see a larger world than the one they get from American pop culture.  &quot;On the way to School&quot; is a good one to start with and can be found on Netflix.  There are many others, and if your child has any capacity for sympathy and empathy, they will hopefully help them find a new thought process.  We also strongly promote family values, engagement and responsibility.  Try these things whether you are having issues or not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17137" LastActivityDate="2015-07-11T04:20:55.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21120" CreationDate="2015-07-11T08:49:17.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother had this problem and my mum tried to ignore it and he still had accidents until he was at least 12 (although he was ashamed and tried to hide it). My brother's counselor and doctor solved the problem by making him go to the bathroom on a very strict schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother had to &quot;go poop&quot; every night right after dinner, and he wasn't allowed out of the bathroom until he had, and he also was made to go number 1 after breakfast, after lunch, and right before bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get him into a schedule like this it should reduce accidents. (It helped with my brother at least.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16571" LastActivityDate="2015-07-11T08:49:17.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21020" CreationDate="2015-07-12T04:59:42.030" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I don't understand where I am going wrong when my kid's eating and I feel that even the doctors advice is not working then I am very quick in changing the doctor. I keep changing the doctors until I find a doctor who has solution for the child's problem. Try to change the doctor/s if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not your doctor is a good/bad doctor but it seems to me that some doctors have the knack of finding a solution for some problems sooner than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-07-12T04:59:42.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21050" CreationDate="2015-07-12T14:34:30.030" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It appears there are no significant studies of this type of development in children at present [so far as I could identify].  From my lay perspective the only study which looked relevant was &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3545022/&quot;&gt;Learning about gravity: segmental assessment of upright control as infants develop independent sitting (2015)&lt;/a&gt; but it did not address this question directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we can say is that if supporting a baby's trunk to keep them upright (or placing them upright) had a marked effect that there would be a significant enough correlation with back/spinal problems to have warranted further research some time ago which does not appear to be the case.  This is also compounded by the lower cost and increased availability of products and devices which hold infants upright or in a sitting position - this applies not just to the Bumbo style products but also car seats, pushchairs (strollers) and slings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While absence of evidence is not evidence of absence the lack of research on the subject would tend to refute the 'common knowledge' that helping a baby into a sitting position causes harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Equally there is no evidence to support the idea that helping a baby to sit earlier confers any developmental advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-07-12T14:34:30.030" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21129" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21132" CreationDate="2015-07-12T17:43:19.717" Score="6" ViewCount="702" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me admit that I am not a parent and this question is about my sister. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister is 8 years old. With the start of summer vacations, she has nothing to do all day. She has no peers to play with, and her last resort is to spend hours on her mobile. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents are both really busy and everytime time I try to bring this to their attention, they just ignore it, saying that she should &quot;study instead of wasting her time&quot;. But how long can she study? Surely an 8 year old cannot for 12 hrs. I tried to suggest having her sign-up for piano classes, swimming or ballet (she's particularly interested in this), but my parents think its going to distract her from studies. However, from my observation, not doing &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; is doing her more harm; its dumbing her down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So is it true that kids should not dabble in extracurricular activities as it would decrease their interest in studies? Does it affect my sister's development, both physical and mental, not to partake in such activities, or is insignificant?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17145" LastEditorUserId="17176" LastEditDate="2015-07-14T21:19:50.387" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T21:19:50.387" Title="Extracurricular activities for children" Tags="|activities|holidays|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21129" CreationDate="2015-07-12T22:00:41.613" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can only disagree - with your parents, that is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On the &quot;dumbing down&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;That is a very precise observation of yours that is backed-up by studies and the practical observation of generations of teachers. The effect has even got a name: &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summer_learning_loss&quot;&gt;Summer learning loss&lt;/a&gt;. In short, it means a meassurable loss of academic skills over the summer holidays. This is particularly noticeable in the US where summer break is 3 months (as opposed to, for example, Germany, with 6.5 weeks). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Study during summer&lt;br&gt;&#xA;To counter the summer learning loss, experts recommend that the child in question should continue to study (this is where your parents are right), but typically the recommendations are to do only a limited amount just to avoid forgetting what you learned, if necessary to close a few gaps from the last school year (according to the school's recommendation), but not to study full-time, because academic advancement is not the primary goal here (this is where your parents are wrong). Read and write a bit, so some math (probably with some real-life problems rather that from a text book), practise your foreign language and you should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Subjects of study and activities&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The human brain is a funny little thing: It will be happy and awake if it has something of interest to work on, but shut down in idle mode if it's supposed to work on something deemed &quot;boring&quot;. Ever noticed how &quot;the bad words&quot; in a foreign language stuck in your mind much better and faster than the &quot;normal&quot; ones? So even if your parents mean well, if they force your sister to study extensively (against her will and wishes, probably), this will &lt;em&gt;decrease&lt;/em&gt; her overall impetus to learn. Give her something that interests her and her alert brain will be quite eager to repeat some school stuff, too.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Besides I think your three suggestions are quite a good choice: All kinds of sport / movement balance the left and right hemisphere of the brain, increasing the communication between them. There is more than a grain of truth in the saying &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mens_sana_in_corpore_sano&quot;&gt;a sound mind in a sound body&lt;/a&gt;&quot;. And playing an instrument is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/music-and-intelligence.html&quot;&gt;definetively good for you.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, what I can't comment on here are possible other restrictions that may apply - there might be financial or logistic reasons your parents face that you are not aware of and that should be discussed in your family circle. But generally speaking, spending a summer with activities that you enjoy and that are good for your overall development is an excellent idea. Who knows - your sister might even find a new hobby for the next few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to your last question: Will it affect her negatively if she doesn't participate in special activities? Probably not. The human brain can find so many ways to occupy itself even without external stimuli and &quot;boredom&quot; can trigger surprising bouts of creativity. And &quot;wasting time&quot; on &quot;useless&quot; stuff like computer games isn't necessarily bad. (Note: Contrary to popular belief we don't have to spend all of our time with &quot;usefull&quot; or &quot;worthy&quot; activities.) But playing for hours on her mobile isn't a good way to spend three months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-07-12T22:12:27.457" LastActivityDate="2015-07-12T22:12:27.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21133" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10542" CreationDate="2015-07-12T22:59:14.423" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have a child who gets too painfully deep into a story, try to supply her with tools to get out of the story, so it doesn't feel like it's really happening to her.   Balanced mama suggested allowing her to make up alternate endings, and Chelonian suggested telling her the characters go somewhere else afterwards, where they are happy.  What I've done with my daughter is encourage her to think critically about story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It feels less real and immediate if you can think of the current tragedy you are (vicariously) experiencing as words on a page, decisions an author makes, skills an author is using to manipulate your emotions.  I've talked to my daughter about the point the author wants to make and the story the author wants to tell.  I've also talked about tone, and how the tone of a book implies a contract with the reader, letting you know whether it's going to be all jokes or whether something bad could happen; and how tone and foreshadowing can give you a clue about what might happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We talk about how &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; has to happen, to make a book interesting; and how problems have to occur, so the protagonist can solve them.  We talk about the rifle hanging on the wall:  if an author mentions something amazing or deadly at the beginning of the book, you could expect someone is going to be in danger from it later on.  When I'm reading to her I'll stop several times and ask, &quot;What do you think might happen now?&quot; and giver her several guesses.  I'll guess too, and we'll see who's right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, when something sad does happen, one needs to think of the child's sadness not as something to be fixed, but as something to be comforted.  I'll hold my daughter (if she wishes) and agree with her that it is sad.  Likewise when she says, &quot;That's not fair that so-and-so had to die,&quot; I don't argue, just agree.  Eventually she will move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2015-07-12T22:59:14.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2015-07-12T23:10:03.380" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your kid is having a temper tantrum then it means that your kid (12 and up) completely acknowledges what they are doing. Here are the steps you need to take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;DO NOT TELL THEM TO CALM DOWN&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get them in a room where they can't hurt anybody including themselves.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay with them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not let them have power over you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they get physical with you, you get physical back. DO NOT HOLD BACK. Try to hold them down so that they know that they have no power over you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE. if you raise your voice they know that your getting angry and they get the attention they want. Sometimes you do have to raise your voice because they try to scream over you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask them why they are having a temper tantrum. Tell them &quot;this isn't the way to talk to me if you want to talk to me you need to use your words.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wait till the screaming stops. &#xA;9.DO NOT TELL THEM YOU UNDERSTAND IF YOU REALLY DON'T. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they start crying and it seems like they have given up. Comfort them and give them all the love you can. This way they'll know that you still love them even though you had to hold them down etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to them about the tantrum IF THEY WANT TO. Let them kniw that they at least have the power to keep private.&#xA;If these tantrums keep on happening try talking to your kid if they don't want to go to a doctor.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17148" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-13T00:16:39.820" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T00:16:39.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21129" CreationDate="2015-07-12T23:51:42.077" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What Stephie said, plus:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Studies have shown that execise is good for the brain.  It increases&#xA;blood circulation, breathing, and heart rate so that more blood&#xA;(with    oxygen and glucose) gets to the brain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After a certain age-dependent point, more studying/homework has sharply diminishing returns. One recommendation (in the U.S.) for homework is the&#xA;&quot;10-minute rule&quot;: 10 minutes of homework per day per grade.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also, presumably your parents want your sister to go to university.&#xA;I don't know whether admissions departments in the UK (?) are like&#xA;those in the U.S., but colleges in the U.S. prefer well-rounded&#xA;individuals who, in addition to good grades, have shown commitment&#xA;to sports or other activities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plus, again in the U.S.,  &lt;a href=&quot;http://discoveryourdaughter.com/for-your-daughter/self-esteem/5-ways-sports-are-empowering-girls-and-building-their-self-esteem&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;involvement in a sport&lt;/a&gt; in adolescence&#xA;has a high correlation with building and maintaining girls' self esteem and&#xA;keeping them happy, healthy, and out of trouble in this vulnerable&#xA;time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2015-07-12T23:51:42.077" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21003" CreationDate="2015-07-13T03:52:20.733" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Confront the cousin bullying him first, then explain to him that the way he feels when the older cousin bullies him is the way his four year old cousin feels when she gets bullied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17151" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T03:52:20.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21137" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21141" CreationDate="2015-07-13T04:08:02.980" Score="13" ViewCount="9375" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year-old right away repeats the things she is forbidden from doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, when she is told not to sing at the dinner table she will right away start singing in a lower tone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not the case 100% of the time, but it is still noticeable, and she seems to do it on purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I respond to such behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16596" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T09:57:59.323" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T09:57:59.323" Title="8-year-old right away repeats action after she is told not to do them" Tags="|discipline|rules|listening|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21137" CreationDate="2015-07-13T04:43:31.453" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you should ignore her and try not to get attached to the outcome of such behaviours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because, may be she likes singing and probably thinks why are you having trouble with her singing. If it annoys you may be try to engage her by giving her some job or start asking questions about her friends, schools, home work and listen to her and keep the conversation. In other words, try to divert her so she starts thinking about other things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even adults sometimes sing songs when idle or in good mood. If she is in good mood and singing songs then I won't be annoyed with her songs.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T04:43:31.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21137" CreationDate="2015-07-13T09:06:09.077" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children, but adults also, tend to accept request better if you motivate it. I know it can be hard sometimes, but that also forces you to think about WHY you're exactly asking that and eventually not even ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Please stop singing cause mommy is tired and would appreciate a little silence. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Please put your jacket cause it's raining outside and if you're wet you might get sick&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is even more true if this is a changing situation that the child might not realize, e.g. : she sometimes sing without you asking to stop, why are you even asking now ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By helping her measuring the impact her actions have, you make her more prone to be reasonable and empathic and accept not just because you tell/ask her, but because that's the best thing to do right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T09:06:09.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21137" CreationDate="2015-07-13T09:32:49.000" Score="32" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read that children often overhear the &quot;not&quot; part of a request -- &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of saying &quot;don't do X&quot; they hear &quot;do X&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Instead of telling what &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to do, tell them what you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; them to do.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Instead of saying &quot;don't sing at the dinner table&quot;, say &quot;dinner time is only for talking.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your example, she seems to have an urge to sing - because she can't stop, although she tries to follow your request. It sounds kinda sweet, the way you describe it, but I can see it can be annoying to you. Perhaps she has not had enough opportunity &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; dinner to get all that activity out of her system? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adult schedules can be jarring and not fitting well with whatever kids are doing right then. I've learned that it's very helpful to give kids a count-down for important events like dinner, leaving the house, leaving the playground/friends' place, etc. -- I give them a clear and short announcement ten minutes in advance, then five, then two, then zero. If they're really into something at the time, I give them earlier warning and spend the last few minutes helping them finish up so that we're really ready to go in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also worth considering how severe the problem is. Singing at the table might be annoying, but what harm is being done? I'm just mentioning this for your consideration; some things are really disruptive, other things might be tolerated (some of the time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T09:32:49.000" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10542" CreationDate="2015-07-13T15:19:16.207" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know I sometimes feel a minor sense of betrayal when enough information is given about a character to provide future potential -- just to have them killed off shortly after. You invest in the character and feel the loss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyhow, this is going to sound off the wall but I will suggest it anyway. Have you considered video games? Most modern games involve characters, either your own or game characters, that undergo defeat. While games for younger children don't usually have characters die but children generally use that language to describe what happens during a character loses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I might sometimes worry about games having a desensitizing effect towards violence in general perhaps a small amount of desensitizing is in order? I did see your update though so perhaps things are far enough along that the issue is no longer causing an inordinate amount of stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T15:19:16.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21137" CreationDate="2015-07-13T15:31:13.013" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found that even though I'm speaking the same language they know, they sometimes don't fully hear or understand, and even when they do they believe that if they change their activity slightly then the problem will be resolved without having to cease it entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So before I assume ill intent, I first assess whether they understand what I'm asking.  Then I ask them to evaluate if what they're doing violates my request. Usually these two things alone will resolve the situation, but in some cases I also have to make a different rule/request to get them to comply if they won't obey the simple request or rule.  This might go as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child: &lt;em&gt;singing&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Me: Please stop singing, [child's name].&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Child: &lt;em&gt;continues singing&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Me: [child's name, repeated if necessary, until I have their attention]&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Child:  Yes? (or looks at me)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Me: I've asked you to stop singing. Why are you still singing?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Child: I don't know. (or some variation or excuse, I didn't hear you, etc.)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Me: Well, I'd still like you to stop.  Would you like me to ask you to be silent instead, or do you think you can stop singing?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Child: I will try to stop singing.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Me: Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, I'll remind as needed, the issue is that there's a lot going on in their head and they will absentmindedly start performing the undesired action again.  At that age they aren't necessarily pushing boundaries intentionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, consider that they are bored.  Engage them in discussion, sing with them, challenge them, etc. If they are living so much in their head when you are in a group setting, see if you can get them out a little and become more engaged and present.  This may mean putting off the discussion about planning or finances until later and discussing something the children will find more interesting.  Or relate what you're talking about to them and engage them that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that if you don't teach them to be present while they are young, they may end up being &quot;phone zombies&quot; as teenagers.  When they aren't interested in what's going on around them, rather than trying to engage they'll simply pull back further and entertain themselves. This is learned behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T15:31:13.013" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21137" CreationDate="2015-07-13T16:19:15.627" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Humans communicate very ambiguously, requiring a lot of cultural experience to be able to discern our full meaning. Eight-year-olds are right in the sweet spot, where it seems like they should know your full meaning, but they often don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if my eight-year-old is doing something like singing at an inappropriate time, and I ask him to &quot;please be quiet,&quot; he often takes that to mean literally &quot;sing quietly.&quot; If I ask him to &quot;please stop singing,&quot; he doesn't realize that humming would also be inappropriate in the same cultural context. I try very hard &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to hold him responsible for subtleties of communication he hasn't fully learned yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing about being eight years old is you still can't occupy your mind with abstract thought like adults do. You need to actively &lt;em&gt;do something.&lt;/em&gt; Without some sort of substitute activity, you'll slip back into singing without even being aware of it, the same way a bored adult's mind goes elsewhere without that being a conscious decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means a negatively-phrased request like &quot;please don't sing at the dinner table&quot; is not as effective as a positively-phrased request with a substitute activity, like &quot;please eat and listen quietly to your brother's story.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T09:40:27.670" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T09:40:27.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21145" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-13T16:31:19.153" Score="1" ViewCount="186" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old son has autism and no verbal language, and a tendency to hit or scratch us (adults) when he gets frustrated. We try to tell him (with verbal language and signing) &quot;no&quot; or &quot;stop&quot;, and show him with actions, eg. moving his hands away from us. He doesn't seem to understand that hitting hurts other people and that it's something he shouldn't do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas or similar experiences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16803" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T17:34:11.927" Title="How to handle a preschooler who hits?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|autism|hitting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21145" CreationDate="2015-07-13T17:34:11.927" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our almost-four year old still hits and bites some, particularly when frustrated, so I can sympathize.  We have made some strides with him, though, which show us that it is possible to overcome it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son hits basically for one reason: lack of ability to deal with frustration, particularly frustration over a lack of control.  So, we focus on two things: how to deal with frustration, and how to help him feel like he has some control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gaining control over situations is important for children at this age.  They need to have the sense that they have some control over their environment, or else they feel frustrated easily. At four, you're still told to a large extent what to do, and when and where to do it.  But they're also developed enough to be able to feel like they could manage on their own - and frankly, odds are they could to some extent.  They don't need mommy telling them when to go to bed, or what to eat, or when to potty - all of those things they're big enough to do on their own, or at least they are in their minds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, we try to give him control when he can.  We don't really bug him to go to the bathroom any more, and when we do it's a question, followed by information as to why we're doing it (&quot;Hey, want to go to the bathroom with me? We're about to get in the car and it'll be a few hours before you can go again.&quot;), rather than a command.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we can't, such as bedtime (which he'd never do in an appropriate manner, sadly), we try to build in options and choices so that he has some control. He can choose his pajamas (or choose no pajamas and sleep in his underwear).  He chooses his toothbrush and which toothpaste.  He chooses the order of operations to some extent [potty, toothbrush, pj's, in any order, before stories].  He chooses which toys to bring upstairs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't completely eliminate his frustrations, of course, which leads to the other side of things: how to deal with being frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is quite a challenge, in particular with children who have difficulty expressing themselves.  Mine has no such difficulty about normal things, but about emotions he can have significant difficulty.  We've spent some time roleplaying with him and giving him an emotional vocabulary, and that's certainly helped; but it's still a long way off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does seem to work is &lt;em&gt;in the moment&lt;/em&gt; role playing.  The steps are roughly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Defuse.  Figure out something that defuses him so he's able to pay attention.  Think of a buddhist &quot;Ommm&quot; mantra (or similar).  For ours it's count to {some number}; it both engages his rational mind, and adds a bit of levity, because his mantra response is &quot;1,2,3,{some number}&quot; with a giggle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reiterate what's frustrating him.  This is important, because it shows that you are paying attention and understand him, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; confirms that you actually have the right problem - sometimes you won't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remind him of the right way to respond.  Show him with roleplaying, and by giving him tools to deal with it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;D, it seems like you're frustrated because you're bored with bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;I'm soo bored.  Bedtime is boring.  I want to play!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Totally understand that. However, hitting is not the right answer here.  Hitting hurts daddy.  Instead of hitting a person, when I'm frustrated, I like to hold my hands really tight, like this.    Then I tell the person I'm frustrated at that I'm frustrated.  &quot;Mommy, I'm frustrated that you won't let me watch my sports game with the guys, and instead I have to do the dishes.&quot; (giggles)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Daddy, I'm frustrated that I have to go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Okay, that's much better! Now let's find you a solution to your problem.  What can we do to make you less bored.  Let's think of a good bedtime activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Jumping on the bed!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No, no, that won't work at all.  Something you can do while lying down. Here's your airplane book, and here's your booklight.  What about reading? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Airplanes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't always work for us, but it usually helps get him out of 'hitting' mode and into 'solving' mode.  It's definitely helped over time - whether that's just maturation or something more I couldn't say, but he's hitting and biting less now than he was a few months ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note: I don't know enough about autism or language delay-resulting disorders to say how they factor into this, so I'm answering primarily from the point of view of a parent of a preschooler who is fully capable of communicating.  Some of the issues here are certain to be exacerbated in children less capable of communicating with their parents, and there are likely specific solutions to help them communicate their needs, wants, and frustrations.  Hopefully some value is still in this for a parent of an autistic or language-delayed child.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T17:34:11.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21103" CreationDate="2015-07-13T18:13:32.007" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Currently our eldest sleeps in the next room to us, while our newborn sleeps in the same room as us&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is actually a pretty good strategy as far as improving sleep quality for the eldest.  BUT.... the downside is, it will have negative side effects:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The eldest will have jealousy issues over NOT sleeping in your room&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can be partially ameliorated by one of the parents spending more time in their room, e.g. before-bed and when they are falling asleep. Or letting them be in your room more, e.g. for a daytime nap.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The eldest will generally have more jealousy over more attention paid to the younger one. That is on top of the &quot;sleep in your room&quot; specific one, but it will be strengthened by #1.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T18:13:32.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2015-07-13T20:16:05.507" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a mother, but I do babysit and have been looking after kids for a long time. I know I'm just a teen but what I've found that works with most kids I watch, is that if they start crying over something just ignore them. don't give them attention for it because that's what they are trying to get. It doesn't work immediately, but I've found that for the kids I watch their behavior and attitude improves over time, sometimes just a matter of weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They start listening more and they accept no easily. Just make sure to give them lots of attention when they do accept no without a fuss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T20:16:05.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21077" CreationDate="2015-07-13T21:29:13.013" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are doing all of this way too late at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 2 he needs to be going to bed around 8 o'clock because children need more sleep than adults. It's also not a good idea to have him watching TV up to an hour before bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he uses the bathroom before bed. I suggest that when he does wake up like that you don't take him to your bed, leave him be. He may cry for a while then pass out, but after a while he'll get the message. If he asks for milk tell him no, if you give it to him at 1 o'clock he's going to wake up later to use the bathroom and then is going to wake you up to put him back to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:03:17.773" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:03:17.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21120" CreationDate="2015-07-13T21:36:39.523" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it's only at daycare there maybe a cause. Ask him about it, don't let him give you an 'I don't know'. If there isn't a certain cause he's probably scared and shy. He need to be assured that it's okay to tell the teacher, even if she is busy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know I had a problem with approaching my teachers, still do, have him try and talk to her about something everyday that way he'll get more comfortable talking to her. Don't say he can stop once he's comfortable either, this will help him when he gets into grade school too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T21:36:39.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21120" CreationDate="2015-07-13T21:57:38.670" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, don't punish him!  I highly doubt he is intentionally deciding not to use the restrooms because he just feels like being naughty, these are accidents that he is unable to avoid.  I'm sure the embarrassment of them is more then enough punishment to make him want to stop them, further punishment will not help.  Worse, punishing him for accidents he can't control sends a bad message, causing him to feel guilty or bad about things outside of his control.  It may also cause punishments for other behaviors to be less effective, if he starts thinking of punishments being because of things outside of his control and thus not something he can avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the accidents are actually only happening at daycare then I would try to determine what is different about his daycare.  Have you talked to him about this?  Does he have trouble going to the bathroom, is he afraid to go etc?  Does he know he needs to go to the bathroom, or not realize until after his accident occurs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most common cause I've seen for accidents like this during the day time has been distraction.  The child is so busy that he does not realize his own needs until the accident occurs, a problem I have seen at much older ages.  However, the reason I see that so often is because I worked a bit with special needs children and kids with ADHD, and ADD/ADHD children are far more prone to hyperfocus which can cause them to miss their other needs.  I'm not sure how this is to be a problem with non ADD children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though, again, if it's really only at his daycare it may be an issue with the daycare.  Shyness and being afraid to ask to use the restroom has already been mentioned, likewise a shyness or fear to use the restroom at the daycare could theoretically be an issue as well.  The important thing is to talk with your son and figure out what he is feeling and what he is thinking when he feels the need to use the restroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, the easiest short term solution is to set up a schedule, as already mentioned.  Pick a few times during the day and have him always use the restroom then, before nap time, after snacks etc.  Work with his teacher to have her remind him of these restroom times, and encourage him to try even if he doesn't need to.  Eventually he will learn to simply use the restroom at these times during the day without further prompting from the teacher.  The key thing is to pick times that are easy for him to remember and learn, so he can eventually learn when he should go without prompting from the day care, as it sounds as if they are either frustrated with prompting him or occasionally forgetting leading to accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13387" LastActivityDate="2015-07-13T21:57:38.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21155" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21167" CreationDate="2015-07-13T22:06:46.020" Score="10" ViewCount="663" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently took my two high school students to a physics laboratory at UCLA where they could work on a lab project with other high school students. My students are minority students from a low-income area, and I feel like they are completely out of place among the other students at the lab who are mostly from a privileged socio-economic standing; the lab was open to all students, but we were the only low-income minorities their that day. How can I help my students to not be intimated by the class/cultural barrier?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples that came up during the lab were as such:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We took the bus 2 hours to get to the lab, while other students were casually speaking about their lavish plans for the rest of their summer vacation to travel abroad.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When one of the other students asked my students which high school they were from, and they responded with a low-income school's name, there was some audible discouragement in my students' voices.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;After the lab, one of my students told me how 'those other kids didn't seem normal', and it was pretty obvious he/she was referring to aforementioned differences.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also after the lab, one of my students seemed discouraged by the fact that some of the other students had already been working on the project for a number of years and that he/she is just &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; getting involved in research.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm really worried that these sorts of difference will end up discouraging my students, what can I tell them to keep their spirits up? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Note: I use the term &quot;my student(s)&quot; because I am not the actual parent but an advisor for a minority outreach science program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14767" LastEditorUserId="13504" LastEditDate="2015-07-17T08:28:56.037" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T20:08:45.953" Title="How do I accustom my students to interact with children of a higher economic class?" Tags="|education|school|social-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21158" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-14T02:15:59.360" Score="-2" ViewCount="1456" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 20-year-old step-granddaughter's father left when she was nine and my husband and I have been there for both of them before, during and after all of their crises, so perhaps I feel more like we are co-parenting them both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This year, my step-granddaughter's birthday fell on Father's Day. That day, she had a tantrum, because she wanted to family singing when others were going to watch her grandfather's Father's Day gift, a comedy DVD. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She grabbed the DVD out of the machine and threw it across the room and it landed on the sofa next to her grandfather. I told her to pick that up &quot;right now&quot;. Her mother rushed in from the kitchen and said &quot;No one yells at my daughter on her birthday!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After years of BS from these two I had had it and got up and walked out. We will never get the the apology we deserve, I am sure. But I will never be as forgiving, generous and lenient as I have in the past, either.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband got a lame text from his daughter with an &quot;I miss you&quot; the following week... nothing else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for suggestions on other ways to react or know if my reaction was valid. Anybody knows a better reaction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17163" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-02T22:58:15.717" LastActivityDate="2018-07-02T22:58:15.717" Title="How to handle my spoiled 20-year-old step-granddaughter and her enabling mother?" Tags="|adult-child|step-parents|manners|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21020" CreationDate="2015-07-14T03:05:09.830" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, Kids this age go through growth sprouts. For a certain period say 1-3months they won't eat properly and lose weight big time. Then they suddenly change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, rice is not the only best food you can give your child. I would also recommend trying few other items in the list below:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Egg White - boiled &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Different varirty of pressure cooked whoel grains such as Kala Channa, Whole Moong, etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Raagi(Millet) idli, dosa, cereal mix with milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Atta (Wheat) halwason etc&#xA;The kid will grow well if he eats on same time everyday and sleep well (12hours a day for your kids age). Consistwncy is very important. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17164" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T03:05:09.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2015-07-14T03:31:46.500" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to be afraid of a boogey man in my closet as a kid, and even sort of into my teens. When I figured out that 'the boogey man' was my mind assigning something tangible to an intangible fear, the fear of the boogey man went away. The 'boogey man' in my closet was actually the deep seated fear in my subconscious of my father, who was prone to enraged outbursts and making the family feel fearful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my 7 year old daughter surprised me one night about a ghost in her room, I didn't try to trick her with ghost spray and putting tape on the window. I didn't delve into the spirit world and get all mystical on her. I stopped what I was doing (working late at my computer), and told her that number one, fear is something that is part of being human, and to some degree, it's an important thing to have if you want to survive. I told her that if there wasn't something that made her fearful every day until the day she passes on, then I'd be really concerned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fear is part of the package when it comes to being human. It helps you look both ways before you cross the street. We evolved and survived because fear kept us alive. Then, I told her that 'a ghost' is just her mind trying to put a picture on something that's bothering her that she can't quite explain. So what was bothering her? I let her talk. Turns out her older brother was changing and didn't want to play with her anymore. Turns out he's taken to yelling at her a lot when I'm not looking. Turns out that she's having trouble making friends, and she's scared that one day I might leave her (full disclosure: I had had a big argument with my wife a few weeks earlier where I gave the &quot;that's it! I'm leaving&quot; speech). After letting my daughter talk, and letting her shed a tear or two, she felt better and went to bed. The ghost was gone. If a ghost is bothering your child, don't try to trick them into chasing ghosts away. Take five minutes out of your busy schedule (yeah, you'll have to turn off the tv) to simply ask... &quot;so what's REALLY bothering you?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I understand that some kids won't talk as easily as my daughter does. Trying to get a word out of my son about his feelings is close to impossible. But when your kid tells you that something is scaring them, that's probably a good time to have a chat. Try to think about anything that happened in their environment in the last week or so that upset them. You'll probably find the tip of the iceberg there. If you get nothing but silence, default to the &quot;fear is a necessary human emotion that helps us survive&quot; speech. That's always worked for me. If anything it will probably bore them to sleep. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17166" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T09:48:28.847" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T09:48:28.847" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21162" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-14T05:20:26.893" Score="4" ViewCount="1644" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had an awful fear of tornadoes as a child. It started when I was around 6, and continued for about a decade. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe this may have been an actual phobia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Thunder storms gave me anxiety  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hail or sleet storms frightened me so much that I couldn't focus on anything else  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I was told by my mother once, around the time the phobia started, that tornadoes sounded like trains. From then on I had terrible anxiety whenever I heard trains (even the horns!) and couldn't see them that it often kept me awake or woke me up in terror. This was awful because I always lived near enough to active tracks for it to be a daily problem.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I first saw the movie &lt;em&gt;Twister&lt;/em&gt; it pretty much ruined my summer, as I was hypersensitive to foul weather afterwards. After that I could only watch it in the winter, when tornadoes don't occur. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually I grew out of it, in a way. But it took quite a while for me to train my body to stop responding to train horns at night with fear responses, even though I logically knew there was no connection to the horn and tornadoes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did tell my mother about this fear a few times over the years, but she didn't really know what to do about it (or maybe understand the severity). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So, I ask, what could a parent do to help a child with a long-standing irrational fear of bad weather?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask specifically about weather, and not general phobias, because I think there is a real threat of weather that acts as a rational basis for the irrational aspects. Not all phobias are grounded in things that have tangible, realistic threats. (I grew up in Tornado Valley, and have been through some very bad tornado weather. The earliest occurence I can remember was terrifying for me and the cause of my phobia). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although I understand counseling would likely be appropriate, I'd prefer a response dealing with what a parent can actively do in the home, between and during storm episodes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-24T13:58:58.177" LastActivityDate="2019-02-24T13:58:58.177" Title="How to help a child with a long-term weather phobia?" Tags="|emotional-well-being|anxiety|coping|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21137" CreationDate="2015-07-14T07:10:09.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me relate a story just happened last night:   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son (12 yrs old) was playing the piano, after that he was quite pleased and happy with his own play, and thereafter clapped for himself, and most important he was doing it happily....not in anyway of disturbing others.   But this clap posed too &quot;noisy&quot; for my wife, who equally make lots of noises but nobody complained, and asked my son to stop the noise - and even warned him not to repeat again.   I can see my son visibly affected and kept quiet and do other things after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This story just summarize so many common traits among human beings:   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a.   We all needed to feel loved and loves as well.   Respect is mutual.   Often disrespect/not listening to instructions etc.....is NOT the fault of recipient ALONE - it most likely is caused by the parent.   (children are innocent and need to be taught, and purposely not following instructions may be a sign of rebel - for an age of 8 yrs old - which I will blame it 90% on the parent).   Similarly I blame it upon myself if my kids disrepect me.   But then &quot;disrespect&quot; is really just ONE example of misbehavior - there are so many others form of expression - all of which can classify as &quot;loving&quot; and &quot;non-loving&quot; environment (to simplify everything).   In a loving environment, everything is done with love, with mutual respect, with happiness, with do-it-unto-yourself-what-you-want-others-to-do-unto-you attitudes.   Enough said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;b.   Teaching by examples:   when it comes to behavioral change - most of us are strong-headed, and will not let others dictate our behavior easily.   So don't teach others how to behave.   Show others your behavior by example, and others will follow you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;c.   When kid is young, too many rules and regulations stifled their creativity and freedom of expression.   And their young minds may not understand fully the meaning/implications/reason for these rules and regulation.   For my kid - rules anywhere they go are simple and easy to remember:   anything in the house that can cause electrocution, or fire, or endanger their own life - is not to be touched.   So playing with electric plugs - I will beat their hand to indicate a strong NO.   And 100% of time all my kids easily followed these simple rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;d.   They often picked up expressions/behavioral habits from friends (and even books!!! ie, outside your control, and the above &quot;learning by examples&quot; no longer applies), and so ultimately their behavior is not just solely your fault/control - so many other factors are involved.  And so don't bother these unnecessarily.   Social pressure will teach them how to behave correctly.   Well, I am still learning how to behave myself when I am trying to write these things down.   So don't waste your time unnecessarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17168" LastEditorUserId="17168" LastEditDate="2015-07-14T14:13:03.283" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T14:13:03.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21158" CreationDate="2015-07-14T07:22:30.693" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may be closed soon, but I wouldn't want you to leave without something to think about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your granddaughter may well be spoiled, or perhaps she lacks impulse control, because we don't know all the particulars. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may have been extenuating circumstances (was her birthday on Father's day? Why, on her birthday, were you all doing something she didn't want to do? Was there a discussion that included her opinions on her special day? I mean, she's not a toddler, but a birthday celebration is, well, to celebrate the person who was born on that date. If it was mixed Father's Day/Birthday, it is more understandable.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The common wisdom about grandparents is that they don't &quot;parent&quot; when the actual parents are present. This undermines the parent's role, leaving them feeling unsupported and implicitly criticized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Anybody have a better reaction?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might consider setting healthy boundaries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Throwing things indicates anger getting out of control, and is threatening behavior. If you throw something, you will be asked and expected to leave if you are in our home; if you are not, we will leave, because we will not engage with you while you're out of control.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;We love you, and would like to maintain a relationship with you. If we have offended you, we want you to feel free to tell us respectfully how you feel and why, and we promise to respectfully listen and consider what you've said. That way, we can avoid hurtful arguments. (and vs, versa.)&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm unsure about the last statements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We will never get the the apology we deserve, I am sure. But I will never be as forgiving, generous and lenient as I have in the past, either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Healthy boundaries are placed so that hurtful people don't continue to hurt you. Read about setting boundaries. Most people are good at many things, but it's unusual to find people who are really good at setting boundaries, even though they make such a difference. Just know you cannot set someone else's boundaries; you can only set your own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T07:22:30.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21165" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21172" CreationDate="2015-07-14T12:42:32.087" Score="2" ViewCount="650" Body="&lt;p&gt;I heard a friend say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I encourage my child not to be a tattle tale - but encourage them to work the situation out for themselves&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several other parents in the context nodded agreement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had never heard this before. I was trying to think through the reasoning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me it seems, you want to encourage your child to be at least some degree conscientious, without being self-righteous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the reasoning behind encouraging them not to be a 'tattle-tale' because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You want them not to be so self-righteous they disconnect from their peer-group?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You want them not to run to parents for help for everything, but want to start encouraging them to stand on their own two feet?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You want them to start to critique their feelings of conscience, so they can at start to put reasonable boundaries on it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;What is the reasoning behind encouraging your child not to be a 'tattle-tale'?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T03:39:15.820" Title="What is the reasoning behind encouraging your child not to be a 'tattle-tale'?" Tags="|independence|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21137" CreationDate="2015-07-14T12:56:57.183" Score="-7" Body="&lt;p&gt;spare the rod and spoil the 8 year old child. If you beat her occasionally, it will make her stop her &quot;kiddishness&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17173" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T12:56:57.183" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21155" CreationDate="2015-07-14T13:23:37.137" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up relatively poor and went to one of the worst high schools in my city, with a large minority population.  I didn't realize it at the time, because I enjoyed the essence of white privilege, which is that it didn't occur to anyone to tell me my economic and educational circumstances would hold me back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is to act like you belong, because you do.  Science is highly merit-based.  Rich people aren't born knowing physics.  At best, their fancy schools gave them a year or two head start.  Once you start working on your project, people will judge you by your work, and won't care where you came from, so get to work.  Let your work be your common ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T13:23:37.137" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21165" CreationDate="2015-07-14T13:28:25.600" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, one reason for sure is that &quot;Nobody likes a rat!&quot; ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To give that a bit more context I would suggest at various ages, if the child has not got over the inclination to talk to authority figures about what other people are doing, they may end up ostracized, bullied or otherwise in an unhealthy situation. You just don't know, and can't trust, the environment that other children are being brought up in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would suggest for my own children is that they think about whether the situation is serious enough to warrant some type of intervention. If they are not sure they could certainly ask me. I'd want to get them to start exercising their own judgment about the seriousness of issues as soon as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they are old enough I could give them strategies for asking &quot;what if&quot; questions that could relate the nature of the issue and whether or not it is appropriate to bring the issue to someones attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my son, who is a old enough to hear bad language regularly now understands that I know he hears it but he certainly cannot use such language in my house, school or similar situations. I would prefer he not use such language, however, if he finds himself in a situation where it is necessary for him to use bad language to fit in, to feel safe, or whatever in the company of his peers, then I am unlikely to punish him for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember as a child when the rule was simply &quot;don't XYZ&quot; and it didn't encourage a lot of thought, development of judgment or insight into how life really works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T13:28:25.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4367" CreationDate="2015-07-14T14:20:53.180" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son had extremely bad cradle cap for months and nothing seemed to work. I ended up massaging his scalp with a soft bristled brush while his hair was soapy in the bath and rinsing it. Then combing out the flakes after his hair was dry. It was almost completely gone in less than 2 weeks and hasn't come back since. It's been 2 months now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17175" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T14:20:53.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21158" CreationDate="2015-07-14T15:19:31.927" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At this point it is probably too late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know someone who was incredibly coddled and treated like a princess by her parents perhaps due to them not being able to do anything about a bad thing that had occurred in her past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, it makes it difficult for such a person to be pleased by common expressions of care because such actions don't measure up to what they expect. If they don't get what they want they react negatively to the point of being able to ruin their relationship with other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, when they were being parented, they should have been told &quot;no&quot; appropriately and with firmness so they could learn to deal with it. The world is not going to give anyone everything they want once they stop living with indulgent parents -- we're all busy trying to live our lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in short, my answer is that I think it is too late. I've seen this before and it is not a situation I ever want anything to do with. If they grow up they can demonstrate such by their actions. If they don't, well, their mother will apparently always be there to comfort them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T15:19:31.927" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21165" CreationDate="2015-07-14T15:59:58.133" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As @Stephie pointed out in the comments, the definition of &lt;em&gt;tattletale&lt;/em&gt; can be a little ambiguous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think many parents encourage their children to come to them for help in resolving an issue, but don't want their children &quot;informing on&quot; siblings or playmates at every opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, Susie and Johnny are playing.  They get into a disagreement, and Johnny hits Susie.  Instead of hitting him back, Susie goes to her parents and tells them what happened.  This behaviour is often encouraged by parents as a more constructive way of dealing with the issue than getting into a physical altercation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As another example, Susie and Johnny have been told not to jump on the furniture.  Johnny begins jumping on the furniture, and Susie runs to her parents to tell them that Johnny is &quot;being bad&quot; (jumping on the furniture).  In this instance, Susie's motivation is not to try to find a positive outlet for resolving a conflict -- it's just to see Johnny get punished for breaking the rules.  This type of behaviour is more often referred to as &quot;tattling.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children can become so concerned with correct behaviour that they are constantly on the lookout, and will inform a parent (teacher, etc.) of every infraction, no matter how minor.  This can be emotionally tiring for the child, because they are constantly in a state of alert, and can also be very trying for the parent, who is constantly listening to reports of extremely minor infractions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children don't understand that rules can sometimes be bent.  There are times when we might ignore an infraction, maybe because we don't think the potential results (e.g. tempter tantrum) are worth the enforcement, or because in a particular situation the rule doesn't apply, or isn't important.  The child sees only the infraction, and doesn't understand the mitigating circumstances, and these are some of the instances where &quot;tattletale&quot; behaviour is particularly trying on the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Summary&lt;/strong&gt;:  When parents talk about discouraging their children from being &quot;tattletales,&quot; it is likely that they are trying to discourage the nit-picking, self-serving, vigilant reporting of every minor infraction, rather then the helpful and important reporting of serious situations or important issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T15:59:58.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21173" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21174" CreationDate="2015-07-14T16:00:15.333" Score="41" ViewCount="12772" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old asks me questions like &quot;Why is water transparent?&quot; What kind of &quot;why&quot; does he mean?: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What sense does it make for water to be transparent?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How is it achieved that water is transparent?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first question would be more philosophycal and the second question more physical. I don't think I would be able to explain to him the difference between those type of questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="315" LastEditorUserId="315" LastEditDate="2015-07-17T11:18:29.820" LastActivityDate="2015-07-18T11:41:21.983" Title="If my 4-year-old asks me &quot;why&quot;, what kind of &quot;why&quot; does he mean?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-14T16:56:08.233" Score="106" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, he often doesn't know himself what he means.  I've heard a lot of four-year-olds ask &quot;Why?&quot; ad infinitum -- sometimes it's just a way of saying, &quot;Tell me more.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suspect that for most four-year-olds, asking &quot;Why?&quot; is a way of trying to learn more about the things around them, but I think that they are often looking for a simple explanation that doesn't necessarily answer the question they are technically asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Why is water transparent?&quot; could mean:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;What does &lt;em&gt;transparent&lt;/em&gt; mean?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Why are some things transparent and others aren't?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;How is it possible that I can see right through something?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Pay some attention to me, and make me feel like I'm important to you.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... or any number of other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you give an answer to what you think is being asked, you can often tell if you're on the right track by how much the child engages your answer.  If he seems interested in your answer, you're probably on the right track.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T16:56:08.233" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21165" CreationDate="2015-07-14T17:34:23.740" Score="0" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's bad for your social interactions.  Nobody likes it when someone runs to the teacher/parent/etc for every little action.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's decreases their independence.  They need to learn to resolve situations on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's just annoying to the parent/teacher.  I've got better things to do than deal with every minor transgression my three kids.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's unkind.  The reason they are reporting the behavior, 90% of the time, is not out of justice or concern, it's out of wanting to get the other kid in trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T17:34:23.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21137" CreationDate="2015-07-14T17:55:57.287" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children need to be taught, &quot;not now.&quot; And to defer their desires until &quot;later.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell your daughter that you will allow her to sing &quot;after dinner&quot; at a time and location more to your liking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But tell her that she cannot sing &quot;right now&quot; because you and she are at the dinner table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And tell her that if she continues to sing &quot;right now,&quot; you will not allow her to sing &quot;later.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13664" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T17:55:57.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21162" CreationDate="2015-07-14T18:43:09.657" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is fairly common to some degree; weather is about as unpredictable as you can get, and also has incredible destructive potential.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my sons have a strong dislike of thunderstorms; although perhaps not as strong as a phobia, they are visibly anxious and tense as soon as there's a rumble of thunder. Rain on car windows, even gentle drizzle, also inspires a lot of comments that a storm is coming and we should get home &lt;em&gt;right now&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We acknowledge that it's scary. There's loud rumbling for no apparent reason, and there isn't always warning that it's coming (and even when lightning is visible, there's an irregular time lapse between that and the thunder clap). &quot;Don't be silly, it's just thunder!&quot; isn't a useful response for them, but &quot;It's scary, isn't it?&quot; or &quot;It's OK to be scared!&quot; can be.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We allow more snuggle time, hugs, nightlights, and general delay tactics when there's an evening thunderstorm that's going to be growling through bedtime. They're scared about something out of my control, I'll be more lenient about unrelated things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We talk about the science behind the weather. This can be tough with younger kids, but even the toddler will listen to an explanation about the delay between light and sound or about how hailstones form — I think it may be just hearing a calm conversation instead of panicking, so &lt;em&gt;things are probably OK right now&lt;/em&gt;. But I also emphasize that the weather can't get in our house. We have a roof, windows, doors, so we stay dry and safe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We (gently) push opportunities to safely observe. My son and I sat in the garage with the door open during a hailstorm. We were well back from the door, but the wind, hail, and thunder were still very obvious. I talked to him about why it's important to be inside when there's bad weather (&lt;em&gt;imagine those hailstones hitting you!&lt;/em&gt;), discussed a bit of weather science, and when the storm had largely passed we went outside to look at the hailstones close up. That was a very unusual case: more often it's simply sitting by the window during a thunderstorm, but I still like this because it's a demonstration that &lt;em&gt;this can't actually hurt us while we're inside&lt;/em&gt;. Neither has had such severe anxiety that they couldn't be coaxed to come look as long as I was there too, but this may not work as well for a child who's really significantly afraid of the storm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You mentioned in a comment that your mother had you listen to storm bulletins: this is another great idea for a couple of reasons. This applies some predictability to the situation as well as a time window (we can stop worrying at 7:30!). It also can incorporate geographic distance (a tornado warning two counties away, or even on the other side of my county, is a less immediate threat) and direction, which can be reinforced with a weather map (&lt;em&gt;see, it's moving away from us now!&lt;/em&gt;). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More extreme weather events can't necessarily be dealt with calmly at home. Tornadoes or hurricanes, for example, require going to a safe room or even evacuating to a different city. The key in that case is to have a plan, communicate it to the kids, and carry it out as calmly as possible when necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are online resources (such as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ready.gov/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ready&lt;/a&gt; by the US Government) that provide tips on what sorts of emergency situations you should prepare for, and what preparations are appropriate (e.g. water and shelf-stable food on hand if you expect a power outage, cash and medication in a bag ready to go if you might have to evacuate). There's also &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ready.gov/kids/make-a-plan&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;a section specifically for kids&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about it. Get the kids to participate in planning — this helps give them a sense of control over an inherently unpredictable event, but also ensures they know what to do. If I'm not there I want them to be prepared, but (perhaps more importantly) if I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; there, I don't want to waste time arguing about what needs to happen next. Have them suggest what food will be in an emergency kit, or what window they'll climb out if there's a fire, or what their biggest worry is.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Discuss realistic warning signs: honestly, the whole &quot;tornado sounds like a train&quot; thing confused the heck out of me as a child, too! Weather alerts are probably a much better tool, not only because there's much more advanced warning but also because they're based on the overall weather pattern that's developing at a given time rather than personal perception. Applying some level of predictability and awareness of how a storm develops can help reduce anxiety.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-07-14T18:43:09.657" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2015-07-14T23:30:15.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was visiting my daughter when my grandson was 4 or 5. She was not into discipline too much. While there, she and her husband wanted to go out for the night and my daughter's parting words were &quot;Mom, if you can get Billy to take a bath, that'd be great.&quot; My immediate thought was, &quot;Hmmmm I outweigh him by at least 70 lbs. I'll bet I can 'get' him to take a bath.&quot;. Step one &quot;Billy, time for a bath.&quot; &quot;NOOOOOO&quot; Step two &quot;I wasn't asking dear, it's time for a bath.&quot; &quot;NOOOOOOOOOO!&quot; So, my husband brought him like a football under his arm, kicking and screaming. He was deposited between me and the door. As I was undressing him, he was yelling for all he was worth. I got him in the tub and said (but he couldn't hear), &quot;You know what? Grandma LOVES the screaming game!&quot; I took a lungfull of air and let loose. My grandson stopped, looked at me and said &quot;Grandma STOP!&quot; I said &quot;But, I thought we were playing the screaming game.&quot; He said, &quot;No, I don't want to play anymore.&quot; &#xA;My humble advice, cry with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17183" LastEditorUserId="17183" LastEditDate="2015-08-03T19:56:04.120" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T19:56:04.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-15T02:05:38.640" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience is that, yes, first of all, a small child's &quot;Why?&quot; is usually &quot;Please keep talking.&quot;  However, I have also found that sometimes they do have particular questions, and that they learn to ask clearer questions if you help them realize that there are many possible questions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it probably won't work the first time, try offering them options about which question they want answered. (&quot;What are you asking?  Do you know what 'transparent' means? ... Do you want to know why we call it transparent, or what makes the water transparent?  Or do you just want me to talk more about water?&quot;) Even just saying &quot;I don't know how to answer 'why' here, but i'm happy to talk about transparency and how light works, if you want.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, a four-year-old probably understands a little more than you think, and can express a little more than you expect, if you help them. Of course, the goal is to get them to be clear on their own, so at some point you might offer less help, and just answer whichever one you like, and let them re-ask the question. Getting to that point, I have found direct conversation about the conversation to be very helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16626" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T02:05:38.640" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12727" CreationDate="2015-07-15T02:35:03.673" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;None of this sounds abnormal to me; I suspect and what he's looking for is more verbal contact and attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The oratorial tautologies (repetition of the same idea different ways) is a very common pattern when teaching children; he has probably picked up on the pattern. I found this behavior annoying, as well, and learned a few techniques to curtail it. So is asking questions to which the answer is obvious.  When speaking to small children, we constantly ask them things we know, like what color is that car, or where's the dog.  Eventually, they figure that out. Some of them do it. I always take it as a sign that they're getting smarter, and I need to treat them more liek an adult, conversationally.  In particular...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stop doing it yourself. Try to figure out if other adults -- or media he consumes -- are doing it. They don't necessarily have to stop, but if he's getting it from media, possibly it's time to move up to more challenging shows and games. Some amount of repetition and asking questions you know the answers to will still be necessary for another 20 or so years, but it might be time to start asking harder ones, and repeating less.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Engage more. Give more than an acknowledgement, either in the form of extra information, or questions, or both. &quot;That building is old.&quot; &quot;Yeah. I'd guess about 70 years old. I know it was here when I was your age. Did you notice some of the letters are missing on its sign? What makes you think it's old?&quot; (maybe not all at once, but those are all good follow-ups.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he asks questions to which he knows the answers, he probably wants more about it. Asking him what you're doing is a good start; ask follow-ups.  They can be about what the steps of making coffee are, or about why you do it, or how often you do it, or if he wants to help, or if he likes the smell. You could also redirect the conversation by asking what he's doing, or what he'd like to do when you're done.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Of course, accept that it won't change all at once. Learning small talk will take him time, but he wants to talk. And it might be that he wants to talk more than you do. Try to get him to read more, perhaps?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the instructions and spacing out -- totally normal. Raise his own awareness of the process. Turn common instructions into set pieces, like &quot;Get ready for bed.&quot; Then you can quiz him on what that includes; don't expect one item on the list to stand for the whole list, though. (&quot;Wash my face, put my clothes in the hamper, get on pajamas, use the toilet, wash my hands and face and brush my teeth.&quot;) You can also practice getting him to think through the implications of some things.  &quot;Put on your pajamas.  What does that mean you have to do first?&quot; For some reason, all the kids i know love having timers set for things. &quot;Brush your teeth.  You have three minutes.&quot; (and actually set a timer on your smart phone or egg timer or whatever.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not say that not knowing how to answer &quot;what did you do at the park&quot; is a sign of poor memory for a child this age, especially if previous parenting hasn't included it. Try prompting. &#xA;  &quot;I dunno.&quot;&#xA;    &quot;did you chase a dog?&quot;&#xA;  &quot;No.&quot;&#xA;    &quot;did you jump off the roof?&quot;&#xA;  &quot;No!&quot;&#xA;    &quot;did you slide down the slide?&quot;&#xA;  &quot;Yeah.&quot;&#xA;    &quot;Is that all you did?&quot;&#xA;  &quot;No.&quot; &#xA;    &quot;What else?&quot;&#xA;Recall is a skill that needs practice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offer to let him play with toys near you instead of by himself.  Also offer to let him help with things like dishes; if you don't convince him that he shouldn't enjoy it, there's no reason he shouldn't.  I used to love doing dishes with people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16626" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T02:35:03.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21165" CreationDate="2015-07-15T03:39:15.820" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My understanding of being a tattle-tale is entirely subjective in that it depends on the emotional maturity of the child engaging in the behavior.  I would define a tattle-tale as one who seeks an authority figure to resolve an issue that the individual &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; be able to resolve without the intervention of such a person.  What is tattle-taling for a 9-year-old might be appropriate for a 3-year-old.  Furthermore, I think tattle-taling is always an indication of some sort of deficiency/lack of maturity/confidence/etc on the part of the tattle-tale.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the main purpose of discouraging it, or encouraging more independent and socially acceptable ways of resolving problems, I feel strongly that the primary benefit of encouraging children to resolve minor conflicts and problems between and among themselves is to support their social and emotional development/maturity.  With this in mind, I don't actually like to discourage tattle-taling as much as I like to encourage problem-solving and cooperation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tattle-tales are often taking on a role of enforcing someone else's rule, and may or may not understand the purpose of the rule.  In effect, they are assuming someone else's values, and are not taking the opportunity to decide for themselves, stand up for themselves, or even engage in healthy or constructive conflict with their peers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T03:39:15.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21183" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21209" CreationDate="2015-07-15T04:12:15.110" Score="9" ViewCount="3180" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two boys, one eleven, and one three.  I don't know exactly how or when, but the 11-year-old has decided that it was a good idea to explain the the 3-year-old all about zombies.  Of course he left out any meaningful discussions about death, and dying, and the fear thereof.  The 3-year-old was already afraid of dying (a fear which he is steadily overcoming), and has now become much more attached-read clingy-and is afraid that zombies are going to get him.  I have been a little on the fence with this one, where in some instances, I will go along with it as imaginative play, and he and I will go &quot;Zombie Hunting&quot;, which seems to help him overcome the fear (and its fun), and in other circumstances, I feel compelled to tell him, &quot;Zombies are not real, your brother is just trying to scare you, it's time to go to bed.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know there is no meaningful way to explain to a three-year-old that monsters and zombies and the like reflect a human fear of death, and of supernatural/unexplained/misunderstood phenomena.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: adding details in response to anongoodnurse's question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been continuing for 3-6 months, and occurs morning, noon, and night.  There is a close association to darkness, but Zombies could be behind the curtains at breakfast, in the bathroom all day, in any unfamiliar place (or wherever the parents or groups of people are not) and yes they are almost always in dark places.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Refining question.  There are some excellent responses and great food for thought.  I don't think the first part of the question has been addressed, though.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is two-fold: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this represent a fear of death/dying.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put another way (and with more detail) could this type of fixation resolve to a more general fear of death (which was his preoccupation prior to this, and which he seems to have come to some sort of understanding) that might indicate he really hasn't gotten over his fear or misunderstanding of death?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of the answer to the first part, How or should I even try to convince him that zombies aren't real?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In response to answers and comments, and after some reflection, I don't think it is practical to try stopping him from engaging in the imaginative play &quot;zombie hunting&quot;.  Additionally, I have concerns about confusion arising from engaging him in this type of play while also stating that zombies aren't real.  However, isn't the basis of imaginative play entertaining thoughts of things we know don't exist?  (I think I have a new question brewing)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This part of the question then becomes, how can I best support him overcome this fear?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastEditorUserId="17160" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T03:39:55.837" LastActivityDate="2017-12-11T05:01:43.263" Title="How to (or should I even try to) break a zombie fixation for a three-year-old" Tags="|fears|death|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-15T06:14:07.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are uncertain whether a question is about the definition of a term, you can quickly figure it out by asking.  In this case: &quot;do you know what transparent means&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the answer is &quot;no&quot;, you explain what transparent means.  (This isn't a philosophical question in any deep sense; it's just a definition of a word.  You needn't worry about whether your son is a foundationalist or a fallibilist or a coherentist or whatever; just tell him what people use words to mean.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the answer is &quot;yes&quot;, or &quot;you can see through it&quot;, or anything like that, then you can go on to explain what you can about the transparency of water (or explain that you actually aren't sure why, or that you do know reasons why but that they only make sense if you know many other things that you haven't taught him yet, or say you should go read about it on Wikipedia, or whatever).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T06:14:07.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2015-07-15T07:25:52.500" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little boy does this and has silent reflux.  It's a significant symptom of this.  The head swinging and the burrowing tends to get worse if he needs to burp too... He will literally burrow then swing his head around and then headbutt my shoulder until he burps and then settles until the next one is ready to come up.  With silent reflux they find it difficult to bring up wind so this is why they do it I believe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not an expert just going by the experience of 2 children both with reflux. In fact my youngest is on my shoulder now doing the exact same thing as you described trying desperately to get his wind up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps you a bit.  There may be a whole lot of other symptoms too which could relate to her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Failing that it's a possibility could just be trapped wind and nothing else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17188" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-15T17:37:12.320" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T17:37:12.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21187" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21188" CreationDate="2015-07-15T01:21:05.177" Score="11" ViewCount="581" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is breastfeeding an infant more healthy than using expressed milk? With healthy I mean the relative health of mother and child, and with expressed milk I mean milk extracted from the breasts using breast-pumps.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume it is more safe to use breast-pumps, since one can sanitize pumps with more intense chemical agents than one would use on a breast. But then again, how intense would cleaning for a breast even need to be? Or I guess one could also argue that the more times some device is touched, the more it can be contaminated, so then the shortest route, breast to mouth, would be better than breast to pump to bottle to mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or conversely, pro breastfeeding, would the child have a better chance to &quot;bond&quot; with the mother when being breastfed? This might be psychological territory, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17195" OwnerDisplayName="Ro Siv" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-07T14:47:48.683" LastActivityDate="2019-01-07T14:47:48.683" Title="Is breastfeeding an infant more &quot;healthy&quot; than using expressed milk?" Tags="|infant|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21187" CreationDate="2015-07-15T11:49:10.420" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Hygiene&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several points to address here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;one can sanitize pumps with more intense chemical agents than one&#xA;  would use on a breast&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breasts, nipples of a typical-healthy-relatively-clean mother are perfectly safe for a child. A breast can be &quot;dirty&quot;, just as a bottle can be either not cleaned well enough or cleaned very well but with some of the chemistry involved staying there. In general: no difference in hygiene assuming that proper hygiene is maintained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;the more times some device is touched, the more it can be contaminated&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;properly cleaned device will not be harmful and will not make the milk go bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;would the child have a better chance to &quot;bond&quot; with the mother when being breastfed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mother could bond with the child more I guess. The child... Not necessarily. Notice that a newborn sees little, it feels &lt;em&gt;warmth, touch&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;smell&lt;/em&gt; though, and it is comforting. So assuming that the baby is held in mother's/father's arms there'll be little difference in comfort and bonding for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Quality of milk&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An important factor of your considerations should be the quality of milk the baby drinks. Most often the milk from the breastpump goes to a fridge or feezer to be used later on. After that it will still be a very good source of nutrition, however, with time and improper storing, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-eating/breastfeeding/while-working/storing-transporting-breast-milk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;it may lose some of its properties, especially antibodies and fat&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Amount of milk&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some pumps and some women may experience a decrease of milk production when using pumps. In that case a woman should try to feed the baby more straight from the breast, thus increasing the milk production.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-08-10T11:49:35.237" LastActivityDate="2015-08-10T11:49:35.237" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-15T13:31:19.857" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If my son asked me why water was transparent, I'd honestly not be able to answer him. I think I'd have to say something like &quot;I honestly don't know. Now you mention it, I'd like to know that myself. Shall we try and find out together?&quot; Make it kind of a fun science challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13267" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T19:13:46.823" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T19:13:46.823" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-15T14:25:33.250" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it would be important to know what prompted the question. The way I would interpret it in the absence of further context would be your second option. Something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I can't see through rocks, nor trees, nor dogs, so what is it about&#xA;  water that makes it possible for me to look through it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13477" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T14:25:33.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21183" CreationDate="2015-07-15T14:55:01.803" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this depends on the child.  For my older son (also 3, and recently went through a Ghosts stage), who's fairly intelligent and straightforward, I would approach this intellectually.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would certainly &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; be inconsistent about it, whatever you do.  If you're alternating &quot;playing zombie&quot; with &quot;zombies aren't real&quot;, you're going to confuse him; while 3 is old enough to have some concept of fiction versus reality, it's not the same as an adult or older child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're going to play zombies, make &lt;em&gt;sure&lt;/em&gt; you're clear that zombies aren't real, and that you're just playing - and honestly I would avoid doing even that, unless that's going to be your primary approach (in which case, stick with it and don't go with the 'zombies are not real' bit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Approaching it intellectually, zombies are actually far less bad than many other alternatives.  Let's stick with the most common zombie mythos (as there are lots of kinds): slow, stupid zombies who want to eat your braaaaains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Zombies are not hiding in dark areas.  Zombies are &lt;em&gt;stupid&lt;/em&gt;.  They would be out in the middle of the street if they existed.  So you don't have to worry about them being under the bed or behind the curtain - just in the street outside.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If zombies existed, we'd know about it.  Hopefully your three year old is not so intelligent to know about government conspiracy theories...  but in general, if there were zombies out there eating people's brains, they'd not be smart enough to cover it up - so you'd have front page news material.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Zombies are &lt;em&gt;slow&lt;/em&gt;.  So, a three year old should have no problem running away from them, if they &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; exist.  They're not really something to be very scared of, unless there were a lot of them.  One or two zombies - nothing to worry about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep that up for a while.  Hopefully the intellectual parts will get through to him.  He's really conflating ghosts, zombies, and a few other monsters probably - but since he calls them zombies, focus on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he still is worried about zombies, even though we've proven they don't exist, let's get a plan.  Kids do better when they have the tools to deal with an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check google/newspaper for zombie evidence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look outside window at street for zombies.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have zombie hammer (a toy hammer will do nicely) to defend himself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn martial arts (go take a Tae Kwon Do class, for example) to better prepare&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stand behind older brother, who clearly knows what he's doing, in an actual zombie outbreak&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't mean to pretend zombies are real in this - although this also goes along with that approach.  I mean prepare him by saying &quot;Zombies aren't real.  But if somehow zombies came to exist, by some accident in a lab or whatever, we can be prepared for how to deal with them.&quot; That way he feels confident that zombies aren't a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T14:55:01.803" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20095" CreationDate="2015-07-15T15:50:12.967" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Microwave ovens should never be used to cook anything- except, possibly, for water-, due to a process called &quot;structural isomerism&quot; (among other reasons), which, at the very least, reduces or eliminates any health benefit of such components as amino acids/proteins/enzymes, and other compounds, and at worst, actually converts them into toxic substances.  This is known to occur in infant formula as well as breast milk (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.greenhealthwatch.com/newsstories/newschildren/children-dont-microwave-babys-breastMilk.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.greenhealthwatch.com/newsstories/newschildren/children-dont-microwave-babys-breastMilk.html&lt;/a&gt;).  There are a list of substances in infant formula (ones that are healthy before they go in the microwave) that convert into neuro-, hepa-, and renal- toxic isomers of the respective compounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To directly answer your questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yes, microwaves destroy proteins, enzymes (proteins) and nutrients; and the more complex they are, the more susceptible they are to degradation.  I am not up on my biochemistry, but I understand that proteins are essentially constructs built up from any number of branched and chained amino acids.  They are extremely large and complex molecules, and the shape of the whole protein matters.  When it is heated, this molecule begins to &quot;flatten and unravel&quot;, rendering it unable to fulfill its purpose (whatever that may have been), and breaking it down into its individual components.  This occurs with conventional cooking as well, but since microwaves cook materials by directly exciting the molecules (and water within foods), it happens very quickly and changes occur even with very short-duration (warming up) exposure.  What it breaks down or converts into depends on what it was.  Many complex molecules will break down into constituent parts, some amino acids will change shape into inert, or even highly toxic &quot;isomers&quot; (compounds with the same chemical formula, but with a different molecular shape).  There is not a direct relationship to the time for which the food is exposed, as these reactions start immediately and occur very rapidly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Uneven heating is really easy to fix, and really easy to test, and I am skeptical that this is really even a problem, since convection currents will make short work of distributing heat in a fluid.  I don't give my 3-year-old food right out of a pot or pan, why would a microwave be any different, and with an infant on top of that.  Let it rest a couple minutes, thoroughly mix/swirl/(probably not shake), and test.  If you are really worried about uneven heating (and assuming you believe everything else to this point is hogwash), try &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-heat-baby-milkformula-in-the-microwave./&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11238815?dopt=Abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Garlic anti-carcinogenic activity and microwaves&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jsfa.1585/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Microwaving broccoli&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18240290&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Protein unfolding&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are quite a few, but the actual studies are both harder to find than opinion, and a lot harder to digest due to the jargon, but it is worth the time to find and understand (at least at a basic or abstract level) if you are interested in the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T15:50:12.967" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21183" CreationDate="2015-07-15T16:00:48.753" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that telling him that they aren't real is going to make him feel any better, because to him it is scary and might as well be real.  The best thing you can do for him is help him feel empowered against the zombies.  Let him know that you will always protect him from zombies and that he doesn't have to worry.  As long as you are around he will be safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what if you aren't around?  Well, I've heard a little known secret that zombies are actually terrified of little boys who make scary faces and shout &quot;ooogaboogabooga&quot;.  Any zombie in the area will run away and leave such scary children alone.  (The same source of this information also states that zombies are terrified of anything you want to make up to help your child feel like he can deal with the zombies, ghosts or whatever on his own, just in case :P).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T16:00:48.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4242" CreationDate="2015-07-15T17:45:28.840" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think &lt;em&gt;humility&lt;/em&gt; in this sense is referring to a characterstic or quality of personality, which is either innate, or aquired.  Those that are acquired are acquired slowly, over many interactions or situations where the behavior is engaged in and either reinforced, discouraged, or extinguished based on feedback- or lack thereof.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think, as a parent, the best one can do (when intending to encourage development of certain characteristics) is to:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Model the behavior that embodies the value or characteristic&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Normalize the value in terms the child can understand&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reinforce and encourage any behavior(s) the child engages in which conform to the value/characteristic&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(hardest one) Be patient and understanding, especially when this value either seems unimportant to the child, or that they don't understand the value of it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More concisely, I don't think you can or should try to &quot;teach&quot; a child to have humility, or any other value, because that is not how values are ingrained.  Rather, you could teach the child &lt;em&gt;about&lt;/em&gt;, or &lt;em&gt;the values of&lt;/em&gt; humility (and/or any other virtue), and then model and reinforce the behaviors that conform to/embody it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, I know that modeling is important to children because I see it very clearly in action.  I see reflections of my own good qualities and mistakes in the actions of my children.  This is especially true when I notice a &lt;em&gt;change&lt;/em&gt; in behavior that reflects my own, or I get an explanation of &quot;because that's what Daddy does!&quot;.  I also find that they much more often copy behavior that they see than they listen to instructions or commands, or even follow rules.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A concrete example is with honesty.  Honesty is a very important quality to me (as I believe it is to most), and I am very clear with my children that lying is never the right thing to do, whether &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; harm occurs or not.  Lying is wrong &lt;em&gt;per se&lt;/em&gt;, since it &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; causes real harm in a trust-based relationship.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that in mind, I make a very strong conscious effort to never lie, even &lt;em&gt;white&lt;/em&gt; lies to, or in front of, my kids.  This has the added benefit of making me a better person in general (and living up to my own standards), on top of modeling behavior I expect out my kids.  This works exceptionally well with the 3-year-old&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, this doesn't seem to work at all with the 11-year-old, who does not appear capable of admitting a lie to save his life, but that I think is another story entirely.  I have, however, noticed that he never says, &quot;But you lie to get out of trouble!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastEditorUserId="17160" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T18:03:23.010" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T18:03:23.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21196" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21402" CreationDate="2015-07-15T17:58:01.380" Score="4" ViewCount="953" Body="&lt;p&gt;My neighborhood park's playground is scheduled to be replaced soon, and I've started to think about the pros and cons of different surface materials.  I find the idea of rubber mats appealing.  I found one &lt;a href=&quot;http://latexallergyresources.org/ask-the-expert/automobile-tires-are-being-recycled-and-used-produce-outside-playground-mat-surfaces&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; that reassured me about possible allergic reactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anyone is up on the latest recommendations, or has any helpful personal experiences to share, I'd be grateful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm in New York state, in case that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there's another SE site where this might fit better, please let me know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-18T07:27:51.507" Title="best materials for playground surface" Tags="|playground|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-15T18:03:18.743" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children need short, concise answers that makes sense in the development of their understanding of the world. Speaking as a 'tempered' parent, I would simply answer, &quot;because it doesn't have a colour, just like glass, or the air&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That should do the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17199" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T18:03:18.743" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21183" CreationDate="2015-07-15T18:20:14.457" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was worried about 'ghosts', in stories and Halloween, with my boys.  I'd rather have completely avoided it, so these silly ideas would stop persisting in our culture and scaring sensitive kids (although in hindsight they may serve some kind of playful-toughening purpose).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ghosts came up in Curious George and Thomas etc, so I focused on it being more like a character, or costume.  I would edit stories a bit so that people in stories weren't afraid of Curious George dressed as a ghost.  So, this is what a ghost is, it's someone in a sheet, now run because they're coming to 'get you'.  Hope for giggles and excitement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I wonder if in your case you can take back zombies (ie redefine the idea on your terms).  Remember by discussing the mechanics of what a zombie 'really is' (undead), you really lend credulity to the concept, so avoid that because I don't think a 3yo can handle it.  Better I think to just say; &quot;I'm being a zombie, I want to eat your brains/tummy/legs&quot;, walk around like a dummy for a bit (the fun of zombies is that they're slow but persistent, right).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if you join in the zombie game (maybe when 11yo is away), perhaps being extremely gentle, it will help.  When my youngest was 3 he liked imagination games until they got to ANY kind of peril, so I would try to skirt the line between excitement and fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall I'm trying to say that shunning zombies is probably worse than adopting or co-opting it for your purposes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4684" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T18:20:14.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21103" CreationDate="2015-07-15T19:03:24.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found that &lt;strong&gt;white noise&lt;/strong&gt; can work wonders for blocking out the sounds of crying children.  Turn on a fan, an air conditioner, radio static, or a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_noise_machine&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;white noise machine&lt;/a&gt; in each bedroom, and you will be amazed at how much it muffles the sounds from the other room.  You might need to use a baby monitor or something similar to make sure that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can hear your eldest child if she wakes.  Or, if you're only concerned about the younger disrupting the elder, put the white noise only in the elder daughter's bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T19:03:24.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3495" CreationDate="2015-07-15T19:49:31.423" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;To me, the word &quot;toddler&quot; emphasizes a characteristic gait or style of movement, toddling.  Toddlers are mobile, but their movement is a little awkward and inefficient.  Adults don't trust toddlers to have an accurate sense of their own physical limits, and so toddlers require fairly close supervision to keep them from hurting themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think a child ceases to be a toddler when their motor skills develop and they move more like adults, and when they understand their bodies well enough to need less vigilance for physical safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Related to this I think is a change in developmental focus: a large part of a toddler's learning is around movement and motor skills.  A pre-schooler has reached a level of dexterity where movement is no longer a primary developmental focus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This transition from toddler to pre-schooler is gradual, of course; there's no hard cutoff.  I agree with the other answers that this transition often happens in the 2-3 year range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: I don't have a background in child development; my answer is based on my own experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17205" LastActivityDate="2015-07-15T19:49:31.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21204" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21211" CreationDate="2015-07-15T23:33:16.110" Score="8" ViewCount="5108" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two boys, just turned six and nine. While occasional #1 accidents are not that uncommon in Kindergarten, both of my boys started off their Kindergarten years with lots of them, including #2 accidents. Even a single #2 is way too much in school, and they both had up to two a week during the first few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been a complete and mortifying nightmare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest had lingering issues throughout kindergarten and the first months of first grade. My youngest stopped having #2 accidents after the first few months, thankfully, but had consistent #1 accidents throughout the year. He is repeating Kindergarten partially because of this issue. He's just an immature little boy who needs more time to grow up (and that's okay).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a few weeks ago, in the second week of summer camp, my littlest had a few #1s during the week, and then THREE #2s in a single day. It's a shame, since it's been so many months since the last time. While the school district is required to accommodate, the camp is not. He was understandably kicked out. I can only guess he reverted because it was a big change in his life, starting camp, ending his first year of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's now back to his old daycare, where he's again having lots of #1s, and one or two #2s that I'm aware of. They make him clean himself, doubly make sure he washes his hands. The logical consequence is that he can't go to the pool, nor on trips, since its difficult enough to have to deal with this on site. On the occasions that he does have a #2, despite being reminded to go to the potty--and sent back to sit more, when he inevitably gets up too fast--he goes immediately to bed, no reading or singing, which means a lot to him. He'll almost proudly come up to you and say &quot;I pooped myself.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest is still having accidents, but now it's just enough to &quot;get by&quot;. He keeps it to himself (it's only a little...which burns him, which make him afraid to go, which makes him hold it in, which is impossible, so it repeats). Only a couple times this school year the teacher will ask if he accidentally put on dirty clothes. They smell something but don't connect the dots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This past month he has had multiple stretches of four days in a row staying totally clean, and he gets technology and allowance back when he reaches a full seven days. It's been many months since he's been allowed to play a video game or watch cartoons. Technology means a lot to him, so I'm surprised it hasn't worked more quickly for him. Now he sees older kids with devices at camp, which seems to be making a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he does have an accident, and waits until &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; discover it, and we have to tell him to clean himself (which he can do just fine), then he's not allowed outside for the rest of the day, which impacts him. He needs to take care of it without us knowing about it. When he does, we can count it as a clean day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And he absolutely knows. You smell it, you give him a few minutes to do something about it, then ask him to &quot;show me I'm wrong&quot;, and he'll instantly get really angry. We keep reminding him that he absolutely must take care of this on his own, without waiting for us to notice it. &lt;em&gt;Maybe&lt;/em&gt; you could convince me that &quot;he just doesn't know it's happening&quot;, but there is no way in hell that he can't take care of himself once it's happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll admit that we did have our head in the sand regarding potty training for longer than I wish we had, and we are definitely responsible for this situation to an extent. But we weren't &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; neglectful by a longshot. We were consistent with &quot;potty dance&quot; celebrations, gave a single M&amp;amp;M when they went when told, two when on their own, three for #2. We also followed through with consequences, such as when they were told to go, blatantly don't do it, and then have an accident. I don't know when it spun out of control, but it's obviously past the point of just waiting it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have scheduled appointments with gastro enterologists for both, and a urologist for the younger one, but I'll be honest and say that I do not believe for a second that it's medical. These specialists are hammers and my boys are nails. Of course they're going to find something wrong. A few years ago when my oldest went to the GE, she stuck her fingers inside him for less than three seconds, and then said he was encopresis I think was the term...which of course required more of her services.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite my skepticism, we are doing what it takes once again to rule out the medical possibilities (my wife does think that medical is indeed possible), and once again will follow through with whatever they recommend. It would be so easy to give up and just assume it's only medical. It's been going on for so long, it's such a part of their lives, it obviously feels like more than just a choice at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how do we start over with these boys? I'm hoping the 9-year-old is nearing the end of this (the first thing he tells me when I get home now is how many &quot;clean&quot; days he's had), but it feels like we're in for another few years with our little one, and I want to try and make it go quicker than that if at all possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I really want to know, is what we can do to dig ourselves out of this huge hole we find ourselves in, ASSUMING THAT IT'S &lt;em&gt;NOT&lt;/em&gt; A MEDICAL CONDITION.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm nervous for the potential parent bashing that could come from this. We're desperate and embarrassed beyond words. I'm being as honest and candid as I can so we can get some real answers. Aside from this huge enormous gaping chasm of an issue, we feel like pretty good parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17208" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-20T14:26:13.370" LastActivityDate="2019-06-18T03:39:15.507" Title="Six and nine-year-olds will not stop having accidents" Tags="|primary-schooler|potty-training|middle-childhood|encopresis|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21206" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-16T02:14:13.597" Score="3" ViewCount="6056" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old is now capable of making certain phonetic sounds that he wasn't able to when he first started speaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For many words, he's adjusted his pronunciation slightly as he's used them more often, and we've not had to do any training. For other words, he continues to use the old, incorrect pronunciations despite his apparent ability to do otherwise. We tend to rely on repeating back complete sentences with proper pronunciations, or just having conversations where we slip in the target words, rather than doing any explicit &lt;em&gt;correcting&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specific examples:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He calls Captain America &quot;Cappa Nappa&quot;. But, if I ask him say the words more slowly, I can get a &quot;Cappin Uh-merta&quot;, which is closer and we're very happy with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he first started referring to the TV he called it the &quot;Deet&quot; (a &quot;word&quot; he also used for other things). He can now say something like &quot;Tee wee&quot; or &quot;Tee fee&quot;, but now he'll just say &quot;Watch movie&quot; or &quot;Watch show&quot;, opting not to say TV at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know he can pronounce the words better, but seems to be attached to the older pronunciations. This may just be because the older pronunciation is physically easier for him to say, or because we understand him well enough with his improper pronunciation, it's simply habit, or most likely a combination of all of those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I effectively coach, train, and/or encourage my child to pronounce words in a new way, now that he's physically and/or cognitively able to make new sounds?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I effectively teach my child to stop using their &quot;nonsense words&quot; and instead use the real words they're now capable of saying, when they have a strong personal preference to avoid the real words?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case, I feel that our son has demonstrated his ability to do better, but &lt;em&gt;chooses&lt;/em&gt; not to because it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; more challenging for him. I want to encourage him to try and tackle more challenging tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're very happy with his language development, and are more amused by or endeared to his mispronunciations than anything. But, I feel there are certain words we could more actively work on. Language is one of his primary learning activities, and I'd like to set the stage so that he's accustomed to having small challenges. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T08:46:23.797" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T07:46:45.703" Title="How to teach your toddler to pronounce old words correctly?" Tags="|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21183" CreationDate="2015-07-16T03:32:39.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's an issue with pretending to hunt something that doesn't exist.  You could pretend to be a wizard hunting dragons, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him that people made up the idea of zombies, like other scary things,  because they like the shivery feeling of being scared when they're actually perfectly safe -- and also because it can be fun to go hunting the thing that is scaring you.  Tell him a lot of older kids and grown-ups feel that way -- which is why there are a lot of scary movies that grown-ups watch -- but sometimes younger kids do, too.  Tell him that's why some people pay money to go on roller coasters, scream in terror the whole way around, then get back in line to do it again!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him, &quot;If you want to play zombies, it's okay as long as it's fun, but if you start to get too scared, I'm going to stop you, because it's my job to protect you and I don't want you to get too scared.&quot;  Tell him it's okay when he's scared to come for a hug, because that's one of the things parents are for.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, tell him if zombies &lt;em&gt;were&lt;/em&gt; real, you would definitely protect him from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't have thought the zombie thing represents a fear of dying any more than being afraid there's an alligator under the bed or a monster in the closet that's going to get him represents a fear of dying.  I think it's just fear.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastEditorUserId="4975" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T05:09:59.297" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T05:09:59.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21183" CreationDate="2015-07-16T07:13:44.127" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;in other circumstances, I feel compelled to tell him, &quot;Zombies are not real, your brother is just trying to scare you, it's time to go to bed.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second part first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you should try to convince him that zombies aren't real, but it probably won't take. It certainly doesn't hurt to try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't matter what he's afraid of (the monster under my bed was mine), he appears to be genuinely concerned. It's irrational (a 3 year old is limited rationally anyway), any it causes him some psychic pain. It's fantastic that you're willing to zombie-hunt with him; it's a great way to make him feel cherished and respected. He's a fortunate little boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you reinforcing the fantasy by playing at zombie hunting? Not unless you're afraid of them, too. Start with a gentle reminder that zombies aren't real, and that this is a pretend activity, even though it's real enough to him. What matters is that you are listening and responding to his fears. (I would avoid the words &quot;if they &lt;em&gt;were&lt;/em&gt; real&quot;. They aren't, they never will be, but the &lt;em&gt;stories about them&lt;/em&gt; are real. In the stories, they are dull and stupid. In the stories, they can't run or hide. He &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do all of these things. He is faster than the zombies &lt;em&gt;in the stories&lt;/em&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have said, the best thing you can do is to empower him in whatever way he's inclined: intellectually, emotionally, physically. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intellectually, I would start explaining real, rational fears in days gone by (deadly creatures in the dark), and how people coped (fears became stories, legends, and begat superstitions). It might be fun to read about how certain superstitions came about (powerlessness is uncomfortable. In situations of powerlessness, people have sometimes turned to superstitions to give them a semblance of control: lucky horseshoes, four-leaf clovers, knocking on wood, throwing salt over one's left shoulder, etc.) The gods and monsters of Ancient Greece became constellations. Thursday (Thor's day) was named after the protector God Thor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explore other unreal things that aren't scarey. like unicorns, fairies, trolls (only under wooden bridges please). Familiarize him with the concept of pure fantasy (&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strega_Nona&quot;&gt;Strega Nona's&lt;/a&gt; pot, in the wrong hands, covers a village in spaghetti.) Involve him in possible problem-solving scenarios (&quot;What could you do in a story to keep yourself safe from zombies. It's your story...&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emotionally, give him a wide emotional vocabulary; if he can name an emotion, he can begin to cope with it. In addition to what is suggested in other answers, hug him. Hold him sometimes during your hunts. Physical tough has been found to help reduce children's anxiety. Talk to him about how it's normal to be afraid of some things, and tell him what you and Mommy were afraid of as little kids, being sure to point out that it never came true. Provide a night light. Leave doors open. Make sure he's getting enough sleep. Make sure he's provided with interesting things to do during the day to distract him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Physically, promote and praise self-control and the acquisition of skill sets (praise process, not product). If he learns that he can acquire abilities just by applying himself, he will feel more independent and confident about himself. Give him a soft, cuddly stuffed animal he can take with him when he walks around the house alone. Encourage him to hug his animal when he's feeling doubtful. It doesn't seem to make any difference &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21594575&quot;&gt;in Huggy-Puppy Intervention studies&lt;/a&gt; whether you tell him his animal is a zombie butt-kicker or just a good friend to remind him he doesn't need to be afraid; both stories seem to work equally well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Does this represent a fear of death/dying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably not. Children turn everyday fears into monsters. A parent who yells a lot can cause a monster in the closet (both make him feel afraid.)&#xA;A serious illness in a parent can cause a fear of kidnappers. A bully in kindergarten turns into an obsession with &lt;em&gt;Pokémon&lt;/em&gt;. A scary neighbor's dog becomes the docile imaginary friend &lt;em&gt;Laughing Tiger&lt;/em&gt;. The imagination is a place where kids handle their everyday (not deep, adult, profound) fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Great question. Thanks for asking it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://books.simonandschuster.com/The-Magic-Years/Selma-H-Fraiberg/9780684825502&quot;&gt;The Magical Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood By Selma H. Fraiberg&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- First chapter was free for me here. After submitting my answer, I checked the link and it wasn't the whole chapter. :( Try Amazon/other booksellers as well. It's worth the read.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21594575&quot;&gt;Assessment of brief interventions for nighttime fears in preschool children.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T07:13:44.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21206" CreationDate="2015-07-16T08:14:13.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A toddler learn most of his/her early feats by imitation. That goes the same way with language. They essentially repeat what they have heard. Babbling is when they start to do that. The &quot;wah-er-bah-dah&quot; does not sound like anything you'd recognised, but it is their best attempt to say something they heard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 15 month-old daughter makes a few of those sounds in a row, indicating something, with apparently a clear meaning for her (and sometimes it is clear as well for us). Surely that isn't speaking. But you see, the problem of imitating words is that you have to identify them. If you'd hear a sentence in a completely foreign language to you, it would just be a succession of sound, and you'd be at lost to identify any words in it. That's what they hear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, I don't have the reference right now, but there has been some studies that indicates that children build their mastering of the phonemes of their language up to the fourth year. With that in mind, you can't expect your 2 year-old child to make it perfectly. Or shouldn't. He got the [s] part fine, but not the [su]. There's a small difference. He doesn't get the concept of letters that [s]+[u] = [su].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how to teach? Well repeat. Again, and again, and again. With a lot of patience. By making sure you pronounce it correctly, and the other parent as well, the child will learn to recognise the sound. Then he will learn to say it. Which is also not that easy. He tries it, and only from your reaction can he understand if he did it right or not. And for that he needs to hear the difference between his pronunciation and yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have some experience with music instruments, think about it this way: the child has to tune his speech as well as his hear. Hard to get a C on a first try. And there are about 40 phonemes in English, not counting dialects or regional differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16752" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T08:14:13.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21204" CreationDate="2015-07-16T08:39:32.260" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have my sympathy. Having one child with encopresis is awful. I can't really imagine accurately what it's like to have two children with this problem. Parents of children with idiopathic constipation often blame themselves and their toilet training problems (which were often present).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First a quick reassurance: a rectal examination finding stool in the rectal vault is &lt;em&gt;abnormal&lt;/em&gt;, and indicates constipation. It also rules out anal stenosis or other problems as a potential cause of constipation. With the additional history you've provided, the proper diagnosis is encopresis. The doctor wasn't being careless. (Please take my word for it. She may well have been flip or nonchalant, but she wasn't necessarily careless.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because the rectal vault (the last few inches of the rectum) has a lot of nerve endings, it is pretty sensitive to the presence of stool. Normally, when stool enters the rectal vault, people get the urge to &quot;go&quot;. Poor innervation or loss of innervation, voluntary holding back of stool, chronic constipation for any reason, etc. can cause the rectum to become both distended and desensitized to the presence of stool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normal people can hold stool in the rectum, but they know it; it's a voluntary action and it's not very comfortable; the greater the volume of stool (or the more liquid it is), the more uncomfortable it becomes. Stool just inside of the anus in a social situation causes that panicky feeling of &lt;em&gt;needing to find a bathroom immediately!&lt;/em&gt;. But if someone holds in stool for a long enough time time (and kids do this often enough), that discomfort eventually goes away, and with it's departure, the is no more urge to go. To a greater or lesser degree, this is likely to be what's going on with your boys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will come as absolutely no surprise to you that this causes serious distress to the parents; to the kids? Not so much &lt;em&gt;overt&lt;/em&gt; stress, but lots of buried problems.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And he absolutely knows. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes and no. The degree of desensitization (even to smell) is pretty astonishing in these kids. But you're right that stool in contact with the skin burns, and acts as a disincentive to pass more stool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'll be honest and say that I do not believe for a second that it's medical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, well, yes and no. If encopresis is due to denervation of a segment of colon, it is most definitely medical. If it is due to psychosocial issues, it &lt;em&gt;becomes&lt;/em&gt; medical. Right now, with your sons, it's medical, and they need to see, both of them, a good pediatric gastroenterologist who has a lot of experience with encopresis. Most likely, their treatment will require a multidisciplinary approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[W]hat [can we] do to dig ourselves out of this huge hole we find ourselves in, ASSUMING THAT IT'S NOT A MEDICAL CONDITION.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry. Lately I try to write answers that limit themselves more or less to only what is asked. But I can't here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You cannot dig yourselves out of this hole. You need a lot of experienced, professional help, and a lot of support.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/16560/9327&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/16560/encopresis-im-at-my-wits-end-does-anybody-have-suggestions/16566#16566&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;. I could write a book chapter on encopresis, but I'm sure it's been done many, many times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that often don't work with encopresis:&#xA;- big-time punishments&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- humiliation (if it really did, they'd be humiliated at school and they'd stop)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- expecting a child to know why they have encopresis (can you explain why your heart beats the way it does? I mean the heart's sinoatrial pacemaker cells and the electrical conduction pathways? I don't think so. But your heart beats anyway.) They don't actually know.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- forcing them to sit on a toilet too long&#xA;- fighting with your boys about it&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You acknowledge the vicious cycle of encopersis and the child's lack of understanding/intellectual disconnect when you say&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He keeps it to himself (it's only a little...which burns him, which make him afraid to go, which makes him hold it in, which is impossible, so it repeats). Only a couple times this school year the teacher will ask if he accidentally put on dirty clothes. They smell something but &lt;em&gt;don't connect the dots&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I've only addressed their bowel problem. The bladder is related, but a whole other problem. However, there are some promising new laxatives being used for the problem, and there's reason to believe this can be a thing of the past a year from now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please read about chronic idiopathic constipation and encopresis to prepare yourself for the specialist visit. Also, a food diary is &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; a bad idea. Sometimes a pattern related to food will emerge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;The following are not intended to give medical advice, but to familiarize you with the difficulty of this problem. You will learn a lot, though, and can go into your Pedi GI consult armed to the hilt with knowledge.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK65358/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Constipation in Children and Young People: Diagnosis and Management of Idiopathic Childhood Constipation in Primary and Secondary Care. Pt. 6&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11930093&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Treatment of childhood encopresis: a randomized trial comparing three treatment protocols.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022534713039645&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dysfunctional Elimination Syndromes—How Closely Linked are Constipation and Encopresis with Specific Lower Urinary Tract Conditions?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T08:39:32.260" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21206" CreationDate="2015-07-16T09:45:30.947" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First: Pick your battles wisely. There is no need to train your child to use the proper words in each and every case. (And no, this is not the &lt;em&gt;&quot;Aawww, so cute when he says 'Duper!'&quot;&lt;/em&gt; perspective, more an &quot;The grass doesn't grow faster when you pull on it.&quot;) Even if you suspect &quot;stubbornness&quot; remember that your child has reached an age where he starts to assert himself and question your commands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those words where you decide to insist on proper (or better) pronunciation and simple modeling/repeating the correct word didn't suffice, consider a two-step approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Selective deafness&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Sorry, honey, what?&quot; - child repeats - &quot;Oh, you mean &lt;em&gt;slightly over-emphasized correct word&lt;/em&gt;!&quot; Then continue the conversation normally.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do this best in a situation where it's plausible that you are a bit distracted and react like you would with any adult - in a &quot;Sorry, didn't catch this properly, what did you say?&quot; manner. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't do this when you are in a focused 1:1 conversation because in these cases it's way more important to communicate and bond than to enunciate.   &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are afraid that this doesn't work at home, rely on time and the rest of the world. At the moment you are probably the most important conversation partner your child has. But soon he will want to talk to extended family, your neighbor next door or the nice lady at the bakery. None of these will understand him if he's too far off from the &quot;common&quot; language and this is a great motivation to use the proper words.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Funny training&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Most children have one or two phonemes they really struggle with. If you get the impression that this really bothers your child, consider practicing, although two is perhaps a bit young for his. When our children were 3 we made up funny words that gradually introduced the concept.  &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Example (in German, though, sorry):&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Daughter loved her toy &lt;b&gt;FR&lt;/b&gt;og but couldn't get the 'r' after the 'f'. Her frog was named &quot;&lt;b&gt;Fr&lt;/b&gt;itz &lt;b&gt;Fr&lt;/b&gt;osch&quot; (=frog) and ended up as &quot;&lt;b&gt;F&lt;/b&gt;itz &lt;b&gt;F&lt;/b&gt;osch&quot; or &quot;&lt;b&gt;Sw&lt;/b&gt;itz &lt;b&gt;Sw&lt;/b&gt;osh&quot;. And she &lt;em&gt;hated it&lt;/em&gt; that she couldn't say the  &quot;&lt;b&gt;Fr&lt;/b&gt;&quot;! Turned out that she &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; say &quot;fish&quot;. We made up &quot;rosh&quot;, which she mastered in no time. Then we had her say them together a few times: &quot;fish - rosh - fish - rosh&quot;. Worked as tongue twister (which we had intended) that made her say &quot;fosh&quot; and &quot;rish&quot; as well. And from there it was &quot;fish - rosh -  &lt;b&gt;fr&lt;/b&gt;osh&quot;: Mission accomplished. &quot;&lt;b&gt;Fr&lt;/b&gt;itz&quot; was no trouble at all after this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, one thought on &quot;choosing not to say the word at all&quot;:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Do you realize that he shows a lot of creativity and is practicing a valuable skill if he says &quot;watch movie&quot; when he can't/won't say &quot;TV&quot;? This is equivalent to us not remembering a certain word or term and changing a sentence so that we can get the meaning across without it. My children even made up words if they didn't know the technical term, and we always praised them for it - even if we did give the correct word (if there &lt;em&gt;was&lt;/em&gt; one). So if I were you I wouldn't insist on using a certain word if he can say it in another way - language typically has not &quot;one right&quot; way of saying something but is very dynamic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T13:14:15.147" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T13:14:15.147" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21213" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21231" CreationDate="2015-07-16T10:15:10.800" Score="11" ViewCount="7101" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is 2 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is very much interested in story books. She can count perfectly till 10. She can recognise the objects and animals perfectly. She could hold pen in very proper way since she was 1 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, 2 days back, she has shown an interest in drawing. She knows how to draw a straight line and a circle, though not very perfectly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that she wants to draw animals and objects. &#xA;She keeps on telling me to draw monkey, baby, snake, table,  rat etc. I comply, and yesterday I asked her to draw herself all these things. She complyed. But all she could draw was a tiny scribble or a line. She called her drawing monkey. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She kept on drawing scribbles and kept on calling them different objects - repeatedly, until she got really frustrated and threw the paper and pen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could read that she knew what she was drawing was nowhere near what I could draw and that was the reason of her frustration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She she started again telling me to draw things and refused to draw them herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to teach her to draw the kind of drawings she wants?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course 2 years is quite early to learn that kind of stuff but she is utterly interested. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:32:01.173" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T14:16:06.847" Title="How to teach a toddler to draw?" Tags="|toddler|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21213" CreationDate="2015-07-16T10:59:09.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I were teaching my 2 year old to draw, I would start with stick figures.  This is a 4 year old's drawing of a person:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3gVIHm.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The head will be the main thing, The rest, pretty unsophisticated. But then they will eventually start to have fingers and toes and more hair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To draw animals may be out of her league, but is she insists, draw a body like a circle, another circle for the head, and the appropriate number of limbs. Don't be surprised if it takes her years to draw this level of sophitication:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/m7r1Tm.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can work and work and work with her, but likely it won't help. I remember asking my mother to teach me to draw a cute simple bunny. Hers looked so easy. I never learned, though I have very distinct memories of trying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T10:59:09.590" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-16T11:31:08.967" Score="7" Body="&lt;h2&gt;&amp;quot;Why&amp;quot; is a semi-specific invitation to interact and to teach&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child is saying, to paraphrase:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Please talk to me about the water. In addition, please bring in other interesting topics related to the water which I may or may not be aware of yet. I am in a mood to learn. Also, I like it when you engage with me verbally because it makes me feel happy and loved. Please continue to do this.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he has no words, so he says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Why is the water transparent?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good answer to this question might bring in a discussion of light from the sun, and how very very BIG the sun is. You might say how light is stopped by most things, but can pass through water. It might look at other things that are see though, like windows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try colouring the water to change the light. You might hold paper behind the coloured water to make a pretty pattern. You might hold two glasses of different coloured water in front of each other to see the attenuation. You might try to make the water opaque by mixing cornflour with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might then branch out and look at focussing light, perhaps use a magnifying glass to light a fire, look at how the fire makes light because the gas is hot and glowing. Talk about how the light from the fire can go through the water too, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T09:52:50.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21213" CreationDate="2015-07-16T11:33:59.150" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Drawing's difficult. If you told me to draw a person I'd probably be on a typical 8 or 9 yo level... ;) My daughter (20m) often asks us to draw something and we do it, while she can't draw anything ... recognizable... yet. She does enjoy it anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't really teach a toddler to draw. There's a lot of skills involved, including world perception, which is ... different for a toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you expect your child to draw something particular pretty well at this age, don't. Just make sure that you and she have fun drawing, and the skill will come in time. Encourage her and praise her &quot;work&quot; if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T11:33:59.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21217" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-16T12:39:08.703" Score="4" ViewCount="5211" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apadivisions.org/division-7/publications/newsletters/developmental/2013/07/tiger-parenting.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;tiger parents&lt;/a&gt; who put extremely high pressure on their children, for example, they applied many extra curricular activities, tutorials for their kids and made them very busy. Their children had lose their childhood and it's not good for their development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But their parents think that it's good for them, it let them grow faster, know more and pushed their children to their limits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how should I communicate with those people?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried talking to them but most of them are not open-minded, so it's a bit difficult to communicate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I took a look at the answers, people might think it's OK for those parents as long as their children feels good, yes, I totally agree with that, but here's an example: (Happened yesterday)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday was the first day of the book fair, and also summer holiday starts, some of the parents used several thousand dollars just to buy exercise books for their kids for this summer, I agree that learning is important and is a must for children, but the problem is: is this necessary to have that much exercise for them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example happened last month:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents have their children applied for many extra curricular activities: e.g. Monday Piano, Tuesday Singing, Wednesday Swimming + Tutorial, Thursday Tutorial, Friday another extra curricular activities and same for saturday and sunday. When I talk to their parents, I notice their children's emotion, he's already very tired and was even forced by the parent to say &quot;I'm happy&quot;. So I think it's a bit too much for a kid even though I agreed learning is very important for kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, some kids even started tutorial when they're one year old, they started to learn writing, isn't it a bit early??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16750" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-07-19T05:55:42.330" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T05:55:42.330" Title="How to communicate with tiger parents?" Tags="|development|education|parents|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="20" ClosedDate="2015-07-19T07:12:48.783" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21217" CreationDate="2015-07-16T12:56:17.157" Score="55" Body="&lt;p&gt;To rephrase the question you're saying you have a conflicting view with other parents on how their children should be raised and feel it's your place to pass judgement upon them or to change their ways somehow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not your place to do either, don't even try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to them about how happy your child is, ask them about decisions they've made and look for lessons you could take from them to become better at bringing up your own child both by doing and by not doing things they've done...  and leave it at that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T12:56:17.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21217" CreationDate="2015-07-16T13:05:43.467" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming your opinion is the only right one is not really a sign of open-mindedness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no way you can say with certainty what way is better and, most likely, the best way actually lies somewhere in between - leaving some freedom and forcing some extracurriculars. Your children do go to school, don't they? They would have even more childhood if they didn't, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't force your opinion on other people. If it really bothers you initiate a conversation about that topic and have some really good arguments prepared, like their children behing unhappy, even sick from those additional activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if those people really, really, &lt;em&gt;REALLY&lt;/em&gt; put their children through unnecessary stress, make them miserable, even sick, then notify appropriate government officials. Otherwise it's just your opinion and it's as good as other's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T13:05:43.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21213" CreationDate="2015-07-16T14:46:59.597" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She won't produce anything photo-realistic, but if you break it down step by step, she should be able to produce something she is happier with.  For instance for a mouse, start by having her draw a circle --tell her that is the body.  Then draw a straight line at the back --that is the tail.  Then two more circles --those are ears.  Then two dots --those are eyes.  It won't look much like a mouse, but it will be enough that she can feel good about drawing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key at that age is that kids are actually capable of a lot, but they don't have the ability to make the common sense connections between things, so everything needs to be broken down into very small steps.  If you search, there are actually a large number of books that teach drawing in this style for very young children (you might also look up the book &quot;Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, make sure you praise whatever she produces, even if it doesn't look anything like the example.  Remember, you're trying to help her be happy with her own creativity.  You're not trying to produce the next Picasso.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T14:46:59.597" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21213" CreationDate="2015-07-16T14:49:56.750" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You teach a toddler to draw pretty much the same way you teach any activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Giving her the opportunity and tools to practice (making paper, crayons, chalk, etc. readily available)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Model the activity (draw with her, particularly draw things that are close to her level; not as a &quot;lesson&quot;, just doing it next to her so she sees you drawing also, and can learn from just watching you)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find ways to tie the activity to her other interests (For example, my son loves trains, so he first learned to draw a train track)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Few toddlers at 2 will have the hand-eye coordination to do much more than scribble, I know my 2 year old is what I'd consider &quot;good&quot; at coloring and it's just a bunch of scribbles on the picture (but it shows good contact and is mostly centered over the picture!).  But that's how you get her started, by giving her the chance to do it and showing her how.  Kids at that age pick up a lot just by watching and copying/imitating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your specific case, she wants you to draw things - do so!  Don't worry that you're doing most of the work.  She's learning from watching you do it, and if you manage to make it more fun for her than frustrating then you'll be doing her a huge favor. I would mix different levels of drawing - sometimes draw something that's close to a child's level of talent (Stick figures) but if you can draw things that are better, do so also - both as she may pick up some more advanced techniques, and so she can see what her eventual abilities may lead her to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as far as calling them different things - that's just creativity, and something that should be encouraged.  &quot;Daddy, here's my train!&quot; (scribble sort of vaguely circular)  &quot;Nice train, E, I like the smokestack&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:28:38.410" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:28:38.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21222" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21225" CreationDate="2015-07-16T15:53:40.840" Score="3" ViewCount="160" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I help my 3.5-year-old son to learn that even though he is now not the only child in the family, he is still important?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2204" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T20:43:49.963" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T20:43:49.963" Title="How do I help my son cope with having a new baby sister?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21222" CreationDate="2015-07-16T15:59:04.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Show him that his sister needs him. If she cries let him calm her down. If she looses a toy let him bring it to her. Let him push the buggy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end he will know that he is the most important person in her life: He actually is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="315" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T15:59:04.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21224" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21226" CreationDate="2015-07-16T16:01:36.303" Score="1" ViewCount="140" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife speaks russian and I speak german. How do I teach my son the two languages? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now my wife speaks to him in russian and I speak in german.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2204" LastEditorUserId="315" LastEditDate="2015-07-17T11:18:06.590" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T11:18:06.590" Title="What is the best way to teach my son bilingual speaking?" Tags="|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21222" CreationDate="2015-07-16T16:27:32.583" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A difficult task at hand to say the least. I recall a Caillou episode where he was angry because his little sister was getting more attention than he was. (FYI I don't watch that show anymore because Caillou would throw fits and his parents would give in) but the mother eventually reasoned with him that although her attention is to take care of his little sister she gets to do more grown up (big boy) things that his sister doesn't get to do. I took away from it that children usually want what the other has at that very moment, and instead of focusing on stopping that behavior shift their attention on what they have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find that boys want to be protective. They have strength and they know it. Put the child on look out duty of the dog/cat so that the animal doesn't bother the newborn. Have the child build a pillow moat around the new born. We tought both our newborns sign language, so it was natural to let older grab the hands of the younger to show them how to sign something instead of us doing it. (it's kind of funny watching my older daughter force her younger brother to sign sorry). Put a boppy around the older son and lay the newborn on his lap. My daughter would stare at her brothers face and coo and hold his hand. Bonding is important for parent/child as well as siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's my two cents. Now that my kids are a little older I don't get many complaints about us spending more/less time with the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17221" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T16:27:32.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21224" CreationDate="2015-07-16T16:35:47.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are doing it right. Children are learning so much that it is nothing for them to pick up on the difference in language. The way we speak and pronounce words are all from muscle memory, and semantics are learned best by immersion. Also if you can all but help it try to always face the child head on so they can see your face when you talk. This aids in knowing how to shape your face when pronouncing words. (The English &quot;th&quot; sound, for instance, is sometimes difficult for native Germans to pronounce without seeing how the the tip of the tongue is in between your teeth. For native English speakers you'd never see it, but I remember teaching my daughter how to say &quot;The&quot; and making a big show my teeth smile saying the word helped her know how I make that &quot;th&quot; sound, up to that point it was always a &quot;f&quot; sound that she made)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17221" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T16:35:47.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21224" CreationDate="2015-07-16T17:06:01.220" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt; You should put the child in an immersion environment to ensure that he builds his language skills and confidence in the language that he is his &quot;secondary&quot; language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The long answer&lt;/strong&gt; Assuming that you live somewhere where German or Russian is the primary language, your son will tend towards being more comfortable in one language or the other. We faced a similar situation (English &amp;amp; Mandarin). Living in Canada we found our eldest daughter tended to be more comfortable speaking English as that is the language on the street. She could understand Mandarin no problem but would respond in English. I think this was primarily a confidence issue, but there was obviously a gap in terms of how effectively bilingual they were.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This resolved itself when my wife took her to Beijing to visit their grandparents at age 3 for two months. This forced her to speak in Mandarin as well as understand what was being said. By the time they came back she was perfectly comfortable switching back &amp;amp; forth between English and Mandarin when she talked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17222" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T17:06:01.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16376" CreationDate="2015-07-16T17:47:53.653" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be hard to follow and keep up with university's studies and a work at the same time. Stastistics show that students with a job are far more likely to drop or fail than students that do not need to work for a living.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A middle ground would maybe to tell your son to &lt;strong&gt;work during the vacations&lt;/strong&gt;, after the exams and before the next school year. During vacations, he can work a full time, so it can be a substantial financial gain (and in three/four months at full time he can probably gain as much as working the whole year in part time). But in this case, &lt;strong&gt;warn him that this money will be used to cover his costs for the WHOLE next year&lt;/strong&gt;, this is not to be spent for fun and clubbing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16112" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T17:47:53.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21217" CreationDate="2015-07-16T19:00:25.400" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I tried talking to them but most of them are not open-minded&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're being equally, if not more, closed minded. You have your method of parenting and see it as better as theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not your place to tell other how to raise their children. Let them be. They don't walk up to you telling you to place your child in large numbers of extracurriculars, do they?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if you wanted to have a reasonable discussion about methods of parenting, one in which you respectfully listened to and took into serious consideration what they have to say, go for it. I'm sure that both you and them could benefit from such a conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11946" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T19:00:25.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21213" CreationDate="2015-07-16T19:08:20.777" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children will go through a variety of stages of development with regard to drawing, including a stage of scribbling&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Kellogg (1967), in her studies of the children's scribbles, has show that children universally proceed through the same series of stages in their early art development. The approximate life cycle of scribbling begins at age two, or even earlier, and extends through ages four and five.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.learningdesign.com/Portfolio/DrawDev/kiddrawing.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Drawing Development in Children&lt;/a&gt; has a good chart with some examples taken from two experts on the subject.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.zerotothree.org/early-care-education/early-language-literacy/writing-and-art-skills.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Zero to Three&lt;/a&gt; discusses some of the stages in more detail.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stages discussed on the pages are taught or touched upon in art classes, child development courses, and some types of psychology classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child would be considered to be in the &lt;strong&gt;Scribbling Stage&lt;/strong&gt; or Placement Stage. What's exciting is that you mentioned she's naming her scribbles now, such as calling one &quot;monkey&quot;.  Viktor Lowenfield, in the first citation above, says: &quot;Soon they begin to name scribbles, an important milestone in development.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, there are ways to encourage her to continue drawing that hopefully don't lead to an outburst of frustration because of physical limitations. Some of these suggestions are from Zero to Three, or any number of websites. Others are my observations as an artist and a father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Draw regularly, and make it play, not work&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drawing is an &lt;em&gt;exercise&lt;/em&gt;, and can easily begin to feel like work. Your child is exercising their body, as they development fine and gross motor control, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; they're exercising cognitive processes as they're trying to express themselves in a physical, visual format.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the best ways to engage someone in learning and exercise is by making it fun and interactive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things we do with my son:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'll take requests, and draw for him anything from &quot;Owls&quot; to &quot;Iron Man&quot;, but leave the image incomplete so he can fill in the details. He really enjoys adding eyes, mouths, and noses (even if I haven't finished yet!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We'll trace each other's hands. Tracing hands is fun! This activity takes off some of the cognitive burden of trying to translate a mental thought into a tangible image. The other day, I traced his hand and then drew and colored on top of it to turn it into an Iron Man hand! My wife often makes hand/feet into animals or objects (such as &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?q=footprint%20tractor&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;tractors&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We'll make outlines for him to trace.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We'll give him other things to put on the paper, and he'll incorporate those into his drawing. For instance, stickers or sticky googly eyes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We'll draw something together and discuss what parts it needs. For instance, if we're drawing a dog, I'll ask what part we should draw. If he says, &quot;Tail!&quot; then we'll draw a tail, even if it comes from the dog's forehead. I'll also make suggestions, such as &quot;This dog should have a tongue, where should we put it?&quot; This activity narrows down the purpose of each stroke: he doesn't have to conceptualize an entire dog, but only a part at a time. Then, each part is placed with the clear intent of being &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; part, which in our experience leads to more satisfaction on his part that he did it &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt; (in his own eyes).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also remember to realize your child's limitations. Even fun activities stop being fun after a time, and the brain and body will need a break. It'll be better to switch gears and provide the break as soon as you sense your child becoming frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Use engaging, positive communication&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most frustrating things for any artist in when you draw a specific object or concept, and then someone comes along and asks if it's a &lt;em&gt;different&lt;/em&gt; object. It unintentionally sends the message of, &quot;You must not have done it right, since I couldn't recognize it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think even toddlers can feel some of this frustration. Here's how I'd mitigate it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask your child what they're going to draw before or during the actual drawing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/social/how-to-praise-your-kids/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Comment on or compliment your child&lt;/a&gt; on what they're doing, not necessarily what they're making. Zero To Three had some great examples of this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Take a few moments to observe your child’s work:  Look at the lines you are making—there are so many of them!  Or, That picture is really interesting.  Those colors make me feel happy.  Or, I see you are working really hard on your drawing.  Or just:  Tell me about your picture.  Then see if your child is interested in sharing more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Refer to the drawing as whatever your child calls it. If it's a monkey to her, then call it a monkey. This reinforces that their attempt at drawing an object was successful, and encourages future attempts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Focus on the process, not the product&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;. Although using outlines and templates, as mentioned above, can still be fun for toddlers, you'll want to balance it with other activities where they have more control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Remember, toddlers are more interested in the process of a work. It is adults who feel a need for a cute product to send home for display. Toddlers are delight with their scribbles and should be urged toward autonomy in their designs, not restricted to an adult's stenciled shape.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Use a variety of materials&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even fat, toddler-oriented crayons and markers require grip and dexterity that can be difficult for young children. There are 35 muscles between the forearm and hand, and quite a few of them are necessary for controlling those implements. Some of these muscles are very small and can tire quickly (as I'm personally relearning in physical therapy exercises for my hand/arms). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crayons, in my opinion, are actually one of the hardest child-oriented mediums to use. The wax is hard, requiring firm pressure to make marks. The inclusion of this downward pressure can make it harder for the other muscles to stabilize the other motions of the arm. It also requires gripping the crayon in a somewhat upright position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paint is a great option for improving the drawing experience. While a child's pencil stroke is often &quot;scribbly&quot; or erratic, a paint stroke is generally smooth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finger painting can require less fine motor control, or require the activation of less muscles at a time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Washable paints with a brush don't require downward pressure to make a stroke. The paint will make a clear, vivid mark so long as it touches the paper. This means your child only needs to focus on making the motions they want, and not focusing on whether those motions will have a visible effect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are a lot of resources online about how to make stamps or &lt;a href=&quot;http://babbledabbledo.com/16-homemade-paint-brushes/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;paint brushes&lt;/a&gt; on the cheap. These alternative tools definitely step up the fun-factor of painting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Paints in general tend to allow for brighter colors, which are &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4474725.stm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;more visually appealing to children&lt;/a&gt;. They also allow for mixing or blending of colors, which is hard to do with crayons or colored pencils. Intentionally mixing two colors, such as red and blue to make purple, is likely not a skill that'll develop for a while, but seeing the colors change as they interact is exciting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also recommend pastels, Conté crayons, artist chalks, and possibly compressed charcoal (as opposed to willow or vine charcoal will likely be pulverized by their grip). I would remove the wrappers on these, if any, so that flat strokes are possible and upright grips aren't necessary. These media also provide rich strokes without much pressure, although they do make for messier hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also get woodless graphite pencils, or sticks of graphite, that can be easier for small hands to use compared to the fine points of wood or mechanical pencils.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also incorporate other mixed media, such as adhesive-backed objects or things that need to be glued and taped on. These things won't necessarily help develop specific drawing skills, but they do aid with developing expression. They can also provide a fun canvas for drawings to be a part of. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Realize that drawing is a highly skillful activity&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the stages of child drawing development show, learning to draw is an ongoing process. It's not realistic to be able to teach a toddler to draw complex objects. However, toddlers can be quite successful with learning to draw certain shapes (circles, especially!) or a selection of letters (and not just &quot;O&quot;!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each stage of development lays the foundation for the next stage&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;. So even if your child can't draw a recognizable animal, they're still &lt;em&gt;learning&lt;/em&gt; to draw. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Kellogg and O'Dell (1967) have described scribbles as the building blocks of children's art.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early on drawing skills involve the development of fine and gross motor control to a larger extent than many later stages. But without this control, even an adult will have difficultly drawing. Supposing you're not ambidextrous, attempt drawing with your offhand! You'll see how important muscle control is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, be mindful that any progress or practice is a success! At this age, if you can get your daughter to sit down and draw &lt;em&gt;at all&lt;/em&gt;, then it's an accomplishment and your child &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; learning. Keep it up!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1: Francks, O. (1979). Scribbles? Yes, They Are Art! Young Children, 34(5), 14-22.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2: Fucigna, C. (1982). Art for Toddlers: A Developmental Approach. Young Children, 37(3), 45-51.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-17T14:16:06.847" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T14:16:06.847" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21222" CreationDate="2015-07-16T19:42:05.130" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This might sound odd, but get your son a doll (girl preferably - to mirror the baby sister), and encourage him to take care of it.  This is better done &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; the sister arrives, but it will still have a lot of benefits, and can give him something to do in parallel while you give attention to the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a baby (we &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; its a girl) on the way, and have told our son (3) as soon as we told anyone else, and show him pictures (&quot;this is what your sister/brother looks like right now&quot;...) and talk about what it will be like when she/he gets here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also has, and has had for a while, a baby boy doll (in addition to the dozen other stuffed animals, though the doll is treated differently), which he carries carefully up the stairs, protects from zombies, and covers with things to keep him safe and warm.  I think this is one of the best ways to engage a young child in such activities, since it is relatively easy, and can make him/her feel very important.  It can also serve as a replacement behavior for attention-seeking when you need to attend to the infant: &quot;while I change your sister, can you show me how you change your baby?&quot; kind of engagement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T19:42:05.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16560" CreationDate="2015-07-16T21:01:11.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would have no idea how to approach this with a 12-year-old, but we recently had a similar situation with a 6-year-old niece who stayed with us for an extended period of time while her mother and father battled out some custody and other issues.  It is an extremely difficult situation to approach, and all I can offer is moral support and an explanation of what seemed to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Moral Support&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do it!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;What worked for us&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The context&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This little girl was neglected and abused, and even now has a language and apparent cognitive deficit both from a lack of interaction (left in front of television repeatedly and for extended periods of time, locked in bedroom to the point where she would soil herself several times without receiving attention, punished for soiling herself - as when locked in bedroom, or any other time, yelled at while on toilet to relieve herself, etc. etc.), and we are convinced the behavior is a direct result of some of this mistreatment.  This may partially explain how receptive this child was to praise and encouragement, but I don't really know.  In any case, this is the general backdrop of our situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Behavior and Support&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ignoring the &quot;behavior&quot; side of this.  Accidents happen; in this case they happen &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;frequently&lt;/em&gt;.  Provide any assistance needed to make sure proper sanitation is achieved; forget it happened and get on with life.  Under no circumstances should any negative attention be drawn to this, or &quot;you should know better/act your age&quot; type of response.  Neutral is best, even better if she can do it herself -without feeling the need to do it sneakily to avoid shame/guilt/etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Constantly modeling recognition of when to poop.  Stating out loud that &quot;I have to go poop&quot; and excusing oneself to go.  Exaggerating how much better one feels afterward: &quot;I feeel SOOO much better after letting THAT out...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading books, watching programs, listening to songs, etc., which promote healthy pooping habits, and portray it as a natural, relieving, and healthy process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Patience, understanding, patience, understanding, coffee break, patience, understanding, beer-after kids are in bed.  It can be a very taxing experience if you let it get to you.  I started seeing it like a game or personal challenge: &quot;How fast can get this in the laundry and forget about it?&quot;; &quot;I won't roll my eyes until I'm out of sight...&quot;, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teamwork.  I don't know how one person could possibly deal with something like this;  Parents will really need to lean on each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Dietary&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mira-lax, given every morning in a glass of prune juice (and under the supervision of a pediatrician), and served with a movement-friendly diet.  We paid very close attention to this, since I don't think this stuff is &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; for anyone, but in this case is was a necessary evil.  We did not usually give a full serving, and we &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; exceeded the recommended limits.  As soon as results were seen, frequency of administration was reduced, and eventually the prune juice, prunes, apricots, and other naturally laxative foods were sufficient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Flax oil, served twice daily: before breakfast and after dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When things were really bad (to the point of requiring enemas to initiate movements), we put her on a liquid-only diet.  One or two days passed before her first (not-in-the-pants) movement happened, and this was great cause for celebration, which really seemed to reinforce &quot;appropriate&quot; pooping.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The Results&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she first arrived, she was wearing diapers.  She would not have full movements in them, but would have frequent leakages, and small shart-like poops, after which she would sit on the toilet for a movement (sometimes screaming the entire time.  After about a week of this, we started getting proactive with the above steps.  She was here for another three months, and by the time she left, she was not accident-free, but she would regularly have accident-free days, she did not wear diapers during the day, would proactively go poop without help (and she had stopped screaming and crying), didn't need the Mira-lax, and continued to show steady improvement.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My strongest advice would be to avoid any kind of judgement or imposed consequences, and would probably avoid rewards (other than praise and recognition) as well.  I understand &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; of what you are going through, and it is tough.  With understanding, patience, and a little cooperation from your daughter, slow but steady improvement is very possible, and probably the best thing to strive for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:01:11.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21235" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-07-16T21:39:36.607" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-07-16T21:39:36.607" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:39:36.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21236" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-07-16T21:39:36.607" Score="0" Body="Arts and crafts is about creative activities that involve a variety of artistic media. These questions are about how to prepare for such activities, how to teach the related skills, what types of materials are activties are appropriate or available, and more." OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-17T14:47:17.017" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T14:47:17.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20853" CreationDate="2015-07-16T21:56:02.180" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has quit battling us when we set her down. It is not longer the battle it used to be to set her on the toilet and high chair. Must have been just a phase or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16234" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T21:56:02.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21217" CreationDate="2015-07-16T22:14:11.960" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So how should I communicate with those [who push their children to their limits]?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You talk to them the way you would talk to any other parent. Respect their decisions and parenting style, try to learn from them, and share your concerns about their children with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to avoid placing blame on the parents or their parenting style, that will often put parents on the defensive, and they won't be open to discussions you might be trying to have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you play a role in the child's life, such as an educator or caregiver, try to learn the parent's style - not just enough to mimic it, but enough to understand the foundation of their style.  Why they approach life the way they do, and how they teach their children to approach life this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you understand them, and have walked in their shoes, so to speak, you might be able to improve your relationship with their child.  That doesn't necessarily mean you have to use the same techniques and approaches, but knowing how the child is raised and what the child expects gives you a much stronger ability to communicate with that child and meet their needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless the parents have asked you specifically for parenting advice, it's unlikely that you'll be able to change them simply by communicating your parenting beliefs. This doesn't apply only to so-called &quot;tiger parents&quot; either - most parents will react defensively when told by anyone that their patterns and beliefs are wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they come to you for help, or ask for suggestions on how to approach something with their child, then you might be able to make suggestions, but trying to change their whole methodology probably isn't the best thing you can do for their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, try to focus on how you can provide perspectives to their children they may not be able to experience at home in your function as an educator or caregiver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have no role in their child's life, or their life, then your parenting wisdom will have to wait for those close friends, family, and those whose lives you are involved with. Trying to share your parenting ideas with someone you have no relationship with will have little to no effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T22:14:11.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12626" CreationDate="2015-07-16T23:09:02.167" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she loves something so much that she will happily do it all night, and it's something that actually might benefit her in her future career, I would encourage it all the way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life is not all about balance. I used to read all day and all night long when I was younger. I got tired at times. It has stood me in extremely good stead. I would allow her to read as much as she likes, and ensure she has a plentiful supply of interesting and challenging books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T23:09:02.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21155" CreationDate="2015-07-16T23:47:17.483" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There was, recently, a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/550/three-miles&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This American Life Podcast&lt;/a&gt; addressing a similar situation that you may be interested in listening to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;&lt;strong&gt;* SPOILER ALERT for that Episode *&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that episode one of the students ends up going to class at a privileged school but he can't afford the books so he falls behind in class:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I didn't do the homework, so I'm going now into a class where, one,&#xA;  it's a different dynamic. Now I'm in Fieldston, where it's 12 kids to&#xA;  a teacher, and I'm the only black kid in some of these classes. I'm&#xA;  the only kid in some of these classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So now I'm embarrassed to be the only black guy that doesn't do the&#xA;  work and fulfill that stereotype. So I'm not going to class. It's a&#xA;  catch-22, because now I'm still the black kid now that just doesn't&#xA;  come to class, and doesn't do the work on top of that. But for me, it&#xA;  was-- I mean, what am I going to say to these teachers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, for the kids you are working with, there may be many external factors that cause pressure that the more privileged students don't have to deal with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution mentioned in the podcast was using the campus library. So there may be resources that you can guide your students to that they may not immediately think of on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="67" LastActivityDate="2015-07-16T23:47:17.483" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21093" CreationDate="2015-07-17T00:10:59.883" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I tend to use &lt;a href=&quot;https://trello.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Trello&lt;/a&gt; to track all kinds of things. It's essentially a series of lists grouped into a board. The app (android) is great, as is the website and will allow for multiple users (Parents, grandparents, caregivers) to log in and make changes/add new entries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example you could create lists for foods eaten, and if there is a reaction to that food drag that food into say a list for the symptom (gas, vomiting etc), or into a list entitled 'safe'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each 'card' (as an entry on a list is called) can have as little or as much detail as you wish. Personally I point form whatever I need when it happens and flesh out more detail later as time permits (like when the kids are in bed)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17237" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T00:10:59.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21243" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21244" CreationDate="2015-07-17T01:48:01.317" Score="6" ViewCount="1394" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mom is a devout Christian, and she holds tightly to her beliefs since that is what kept her hopes up when she suffered a kidney disease. Since I was a child she has always tried to get me more involved in the faith by taking me to religious events and getting me involved into a youth group. However, I have had bad experiences with both. The former case always involved going to prayer events early in the morning or all day/all weekend while I wanted to hang out with my own friends or sleep in and watch anime/do programming. In the latter case I always felt left out of the group since the kids all grew up together while I only joined in high school and they constantly talked about memories they had before I joined (them claiming that the group was &quot;closer&quot; in the old days didn't help either). The former case happened when I was 11-16, while the latter happened around 16-18.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward to college years, and I've moved out on my own (and am still living away from her even after college). Despite her telling me I should call her more often I don't want to talk to her because she references God/Jesus/Christianity in everything she says to me, saying things like&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;I'll pray for you&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Having sex is against the Lord&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Just keep praying and God will give you what is best for you&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;God has a reason for [insert bad event here] happening&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Did you go to church?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to be closer to my mother, but at the same time I don't want to hear about religion every time we speak. We have had meaningful conversations before in the past, but whenever she says something religious it makes it less meaningful due to the experiences I've had.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can my mother and I have meaningful conversations without too much mention of religion?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17239" LastActivityDate="2018-01-22T05:25:28.617" Title="How to become closer to a religious parent as a non-religious child" Tags="|relationships|religion|bonding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21243" CreationDate="2015-07-17T03:17:34.457" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder, does your mom have other things to talk about? Clearly she used to. Have things changed? If they have, you can find things to do and talk about together. A book you're both reading, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't control how your mother speaks, how she thinks, what she believes, etc. You can only control your own actions. But you can talk to her about it, and you can set boundaries if something is hurtful to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's what boundaries are for, to protect you against people who, through a lack of respect/empathy/kindness/other hurt us. Being a Christian shouldn't blind people to the hurt others have suffered at the hands of Christians any more than being a doctor blinds them to the harmful side effects of medication or bad doctors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe the first thing you need to decide is if your mother is disrespecting you (which includes treating you like a child who can't make up their own mind) or if she genuinely loves you and is expressing her concern for you in religious terms. Read a lot about setting healthy boundaries. Then shape your conversations with her (partly) around that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're sure she loves you and respects you, you have little to lose by being completely honest with her. If you're an atheist or an agnostic or a Buddhist, whatever, tell her about it. Ask her if she can respect that you've made up your mind about it yourself and that you and she are not on the same wavelength. Also tell her how Christian lingo brings up painful, not pleasant, memories for you, how much more you would enjoy your conversations with her and might call her a lot more if they didn't bring you pain.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Listen to what she has to say in reply and adjust your expectations accordingly (or not.) &lt;em&gt;Then repeat about 20 times&lt;/em&gt; in different contexts, because most people don't understand healthy boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the boundary setter, you get to decide when you do and don't want to continue in conversation with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call her at set times. As soon as she starts talking about sex, sin, church, or turns your sorrows into sayings, say something to the effect of, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Mom, we've talked about this. I feel ---- when you speak to me that way, and I don't want to feel ---- by you. I would feel better talking to you if (simple statement.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then tell her you'll be going now and that you'll call her (next set time). Then hang up politely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She gets positive feedback when she respects you. She gets (respectful) negative feedback when she doesn't. Her beliefs do not give her a right to treat you like a child or to hurt your feelings. You can wish it were different, but if it's not, and my belief is that it's better to deal with reality. You can call her once a month, you can text her every few days, you can see her on holidays. You decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to face that a parent doesn't love you the way you want or need to be loved. Surround yourself with people who get you. That will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T03:17:34.457" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21224" CreationDate="2015-07-17T08:17:23.587" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It simply works, but might take some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our children learn 3 languages as neither of us is from the country where we live. Our son will soon turn 4 (the second is much smaller), and he learns one language with his mother, one with his father and the third in Kindergarten. Both parents insists on only using one language with him. He should be able to identify with whom he can use each language. So don't change, keep on using the same to the child. Always. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my son can understand, and to some extend speak the three languages. For example, he can count in all three languages. But then there are some differences, the main language at home is the mother's language. So he is more fluent in that one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I noticed a few things: he tends to learn faster with children (cousins, friends, etc.) his age. So he learn the language of the country where we live pretty fast. And each time he gets a bit more immersed, he makes a huge progress in the said language, for example when we visit the grand parents, or they come to us. On his own, he normally speaks a mix between his mother's language and the Kindergarten's. To his sister he usually speaks the mother's. But he understand the three fairly well, and in his two forte do not show a too strong accent. The third one is a bit behind in understanding, expression and accent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16752" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T08:17:23.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21247" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21262" CreationDate="2015-07-17T09:34:09.370" Score="4" ViewCount="487" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been with my wife for about six years. She has a daughter, currently age 11, from her first marriage who has lived with us during almost all of that time (sometimes stays with her father, but usually only on weekends, although recently she lived with him exclusively for about three months). My wife and I also have a daughter, who is four.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My stepdaughter is, and has always been, disinclined to help around the house or anything else that adults might tell her to do. I have always felt that it would be beneficial to set her up with a routine of basic chores, but my wife resisted this, and as she's the one in the home most of the day, any parenting plan that she isn't fully behind won't work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a daily basis, my wife and stepdaughter have interactions that look something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Wife&lt;/strong&gt;: Go take a shower and get ready so we can go out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stepdaughter&lt;/strong&gt;: (pouts, stomps foot, doesn't go shower)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Wife&lt;/strong&gt;: Go take a shower right now.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stepdaughter&lt;/strong&gt;: (either ignores her, or repeats previous behavior)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might repeat itself a few more times, after which my wife starts yelling and may strike my stepdaughter. Stepdaughter is rather sensitive and will often start crying the moment my wife begins yelling at her. My wife becomes more upset at the crying, which exacerbates the yelling, and eventually one of them will storm out of the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I'm present, I attempt to defuse things, both by trying to calm my wife, and reminding my stepdaughter to respect her mother and do the things she's supposed to do. This is only partially successful, and doesn't help them develop a functional relationship either. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My stepdaughter is definitely not showing the proper respect to my wife (or to me, although I don't directly ask her to do things all that much). She also fights with her sister regularly; that's not unusual, I'm sure, but the fact that she behaves like she's also four is a bit concerning. My wife is lacking in patience and doesn't want to establish the kind of structure that I think is needed here. &lt;em&gt;How can I help our family build a better relationship so that my stepdaughter can do what she's told without excessive drama, and my wife can respond to issues in a more reasoned manner?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11578" LastEditorUserId="11578" LastEditDate="2015-07-17T09:46:11.943" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T18:10:34.590" Title="How to mediate between my spouse and stepchild and help our family develop a healthier relationship?" Tags="|behavior|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21248" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21249" CreationDate="2015-07-17T10:19:17.173" Score="0" ViewCount="1200" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is going going to be turning 12 in a couple of weeks and I have noticed he is into unusual things and I find it disturbing. He enjoys movies like The Godfather, and A Clockwork Orange. He really enjoys reading, but reads unusual stuff like Paradise Lost, Nineteen Eighty Four,and the Art of War and has perfect knowledge and understanding about their topics. He also keeps this diary of &quot;ideas.&quot; One of the ideas he came and talked to me about was about how afterlife is really a dream and how we die every night. His music is also strange. He listens to what I call noise and he says he &quot;hears&quot; colors from it. I don't know -- he is just so young to have a mind like this. How to get him to be more normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17252" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-07-19T04:36:48.633" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T04:36:48.633" Title="My 11 year old son is weird" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="10" ClosedDate="2015-07-19T10:17:44.090" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21248" CreationDate="2015-07-17T10:34:25.277" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Read this books for yourself and talk with him about it - what he likes about them, how he thinks about it and how he sees our world. As a parent, you should be understanding about things he likes. If you call his taste in books and music &quot;not normal&quot; or in general negative, he will never be able to have confidence in your support. One of the first things he would do is to have secrets from you, not tell you about his problems and search for other friends he can trust. Do you want that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to find out if he knows that things like the content of the Godfather or Nineteen eighty four are only fictitious and not the real world. He should know that they were made to amuse the audience and maybe guide them in a &#xA;metaphorical sense. Your task as a parent is to help your child to understand the world and be safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you can influence him to make some things you think are &quot;normal&quot;, but never urge or even force him to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13207" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T10:34:25.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21250" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-17T11:08:40.863" Score="2" ViewCount="3124" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes when I try to teach my 9-month-old son words like &quot;daddy&quot; or &quot;mummy&quot;, he stares blankly or gets distracted (which I guess is quite normal for that age).  He coos (is this even a word?) and makes baby-like noises - blabbering, kisses, aahs, oohs, and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any advice on how to get my 9-month-old son to attempt to say his first words like &quot;daddy&quot; or &quot;da da&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been repeating words like &quot;daddy&quot; and &quot;mummy&quot; in an attempt to get him used to the sounds and syllables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there better times to teach babies their first words? (e.g. when they are bathing or eating).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there easier words to try first?  Someone told me that babies normally say &quot;daddy&quot; first as this is easier than &quot;mummy&quot; although I don't really know why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17254" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-18T15:57:49.543" LastActivityDate="2018-09-18T15:57:49.543" Title="How can I teach my 9-month-old son to attempt to say his first words?" Tags="|infant|language-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21250" CreationDate="2015-07-17T11:53:27.847" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;9 months is too early to expect them to speak yet and they'll pick it up when they're ready, usually before they're 2 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do at this stage is to take him with you as you go about your day.  Give a running commentary about the things you see and do so they hear you speak and can match it to the world around them.  Hearing language is their key to learning it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is starting to make sounds which refer to people and things then (if you can work out what the sounds refer to) repeat those words back to him as part of a sentence.  Don't worry if he isn't talking much as while some children will start with sounds and words then progress, others may be almost mute until they suddenly start talking in sentences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes other children may make you think your child should be able to start talking now but it's not a race or a competition and before you know it your problem will be getting them to be quiet!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T11:53:27.847" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21253" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-17T12:56:23.460" Score="3" ViewCount="2088" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3.5-year-old son has learned in the kindergarten, you do not bite, hit or kick another child. But some children bite, kick or hit my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him, he must tell the kindergarten teacher or kick/hit/bite back.&#xA;But I think the kindergarten teacher does nothing and my son says he doesn't ever hurt other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do? How can I teach my son that it's ok to hit back? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2204" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-06T13:19:53.747" LastActivityDate="2018-12-06T13:19:53.747" Title="How can I teach my son that it's ok to hit back?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|violence|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21217" CreationDate="2015-07-17T13:02:50.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a &quot;tiger parent&quot; to one of my daughters, but not to the other one. Here's my take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest daughter does multiplication and division since age 3, she's now eight and does simple calculus. She loves science, especially physics, and since she knew that science would tell her how fast she must ride her bicycle &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; jumping the curve in order to have enough speed not to fall over &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; jumping the curve, she would not let me &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; teach her &lt;code&gt;E = 0.5 * m * v^2&lt;/code&gt; and the corresponding &lt;code&gt;E = m * g * h&lt;/code&gt;. She programs in python and &lt;a href=&quot;https://aviation.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1693/move-a-question-to-a-new-user&quot;&gt;participates in SE&lt;/a&gt; under my supervision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My little one, not so much. She likes to learn new words in English but she won't make a full English sentence (our native language is Hebrew). She doesn't like math, and only reads when she gets a lot of attention and praise for it. She is very silly, always cracking jokes and rhyming words. She helps us with her baby brother, and even changes diapers with supervision, of her own vocation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So I treat them differently.&lt;/strong&gt; My big one gets books and my little one gets balloons at the start of the summer holiday. Right now they are both in the grass downstairs playing with the balloons. I know that I don't even have to tell them not to leave balloon plastic, they leave the grass cleaner than they found it. After dinner the big one will probably read a book while the little one does something that I cannot even imagine yet, every day something different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although some &quot;tiger parents&quot; might push their kids too far, I'm lucky to be a father to a &quot;tiger daughter&quot;. She pushes &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; to learn, to teach her! &lt;strong&gt;Do recognize that these children exist, and in my opinion &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; pushing these children to their limits is &lt;em&gt;worse&lt;/em&gt; than pushing 'normal' children to the limits.&lt;/strong&gt; When in doubt, give a push.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-16T15:52:28.410" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T13:41:44.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21253" CreationDate="2015-07-17T14:51:20.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You really have 2 problems here&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) How to teach your toddler when it's ok to defend themselves by retaliation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There isn't a way - toddlers lack the reasoning skills to be able to judge when is an appropriate time to hit back that we adults have.  They also can lack the empathy to understand when retaliation has been a successful deterrent (and to stop doing it).  As a result the only correct action is to say that it IS NOT acceptable to hit back in line with the kindergartens rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from anything else if they see a child hit then that child is the aggressor, it's the one they need to deal with - so if your child doesn't hit then that will become apparent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) The kindergarten aren't dealing with a child who is hurting other children at the setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a different issue and you have to consider that you're only getting half a story from a toddler.  Toddlers are not renowned for their 100% flawless recall of stories and situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take the situation where your toddler snatches or takes a toy from another child who then lashes out.  All children do it and it's a part of learning to share that sometimes they just get it wrong.  But is it &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; ok for them to hit back?  Of course not.  Is your child going to tell you that's what happened? No.  Did your child even link the two events together? Probably not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you'd need to do is ask the kindergarten about the situation and find out if there is a problem or if it's children just learning how to socialise.  If there is a problem with another child then they should have a plan or process for doing something about it.  If they're unaware or not doing something about it then there may be questions over the level of care they're providing and that is something you'd need to work with them to address properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T14:51:20.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21253" CreationDate="2015-07-17T14:54:14.813" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This could be a serious bullying problem, or it could be young children's lack of impulse control, teachers lack of attention to children at play time, or a number of other issues.  It is hard to know if these behaviors are actually &quot;bullying&quot;, and I think the best place to put most of your effort into is your child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing how to protect oneself is indispensable; but it is also not very useful if you don't know &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; to defend yourself.  When you teach him to defend himself, make sure you include clear guidelines/rules for how/when to apply these skills.  Of course, I also make it clear to my children, that when you really &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; your safety is threatened, and there is no one around to help, all rules are off regarding the safety of the aggressor (in fact, the rule is to inflict as much pain as quickly as possible- but this probably does not apply to the 3-5 range).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would think it is unlikely that he is going to be seriously or permanently injured (physically) through bullying in kindergarten, especially while at school, but it could lead to long-term problems and setbacks socially, emotionally, academically, etc.  It is important to address this problem quickly, but it is not likely something that will just disappear after a talk or two with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the best thing you can do for him is to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Boost his confidence&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Get him to believe in himself and develop his own sense of right and wrong.  With a strong sense of what is right/wrong, he can better decide when he is being mistreated, and with a high level of confidence he is more likely to act in his best interest without overreacting.  A good way to do this is through roughhousing with your kid.  See this &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/02/07/the-importance-of-roughhousing-with-your-kids/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Art of Manliness article&lt;/a&gt; about the benefits of roughhousing.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Help him develop his sense of right and wrong&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Hitting and biting aren't &lt;em&gt;wrong&lt;/em&gt;.  Hitting and biting hurt, and hurting people for fun, or to get your way, or to show your better than them, or to get back at them, etc., is wrong.  Hurting someone to keep yourself safe is not pleasant (&lt;em&gt;shouldn't&lt;/em&gt; be pleasing), but is perfectly acceptable.  I also like to make it clear to my older child (not the 3-year-old) that not everything we learn in school is actually useful, and not everything we are told in school (or by every adult) is actually true.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Around here, we have some &quot;formal&quot; roughhousing games in addition to &quot;free&quot; roughhousing.  The games are:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Flick or Kick&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;This game involves one person asking the other (the rules should be explained first) a question, &quot;Flick or kick&quot;.  Depending on the answer, the asker either flicks or kicks the other person.  You then switch roles.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Punch or Munch&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;After having the first explained, you can probably guess this one.  The initiator asks &quot;Punch or munch?&quot;, and depending on the answer, either begins punching or munching (pretending to bite) the other.  This one tends to be messier as drooling (but no actual biting) frequently occurs.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;General rules of roughhousing in our home:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We don't intentionally hurt others&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Actual biting, hitting with inappropriate objects, hitting too hard, or hitting vitals of any sort immediately ends any roughhouse game.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We keep our bodies under control&#xA;If one person starts to get upset, too aggressive, scared, etc., we take a time out to calm down.  This is normally snuggly time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The games sound brutal, and are in concept, but they are a lot of fun, and no one has gotten (seriously) hurt.  Check the article on roughhousing and follow it up with some of the supporting material and searches of your own.  It might be one of the best tools you have for addressing this type of issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T14:54:14.813" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21259" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21269" CreationDate="2015-07-17T16:20:51.920" Score="9" ViewCount="6306" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old step-son is still rather sensitive for his age, and sometimes takes being disciplined very hard. When he genuinely feels bad about something he's done wrong and we tell him off, he will sometimes &quot;punish&quot; himself by giving us his favourite toy, his latest dose of pocket money, or deciding not to go outside / to the next family outing because he &quot;doesn't deserve it&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My response to this is always the same - I say &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;we have punished you for X by doing Y / have decided not to punish you, so it is dealt with. We decide what you don't deserve, and we haven't taken away Z so you keep it. I understand that you genuinely feel guilty about X, hopefully you will learn why you shouldn't do X in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However his response is usually to insist to the point of dropping the item on the floor in front of me and running away to his room. Sometimes my response works but not all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand this may come under normal behaviour but I wanted to know if my response here is the best I could be giving. I also have a (possibly unfounded) niggle that he is stepping on my toes as authority to punish is solely mine and my partner's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I respond to a child attempting to punish themselves?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: prompted by comments - &quot;telling off&quot; here means a lecture essentially - an explanation of what they did wrong, why it was wrong, how it made others feel, any consequences involved and what can be done to put it right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We mostly use natural consequences as punishment, with occasional imposed ones such as grounding or taking away videogames, etc. We don't use corporal punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13217" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-08T21:55:13.480" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T21:55:13.480" Title="8 year old punishes himself for bad behaviour" Tags="|behavior|discipline|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21247" CreationDate="2015-07-17T16:37:09.413" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Step 1 is talking to your wife about her behavior towards your stepdaughter, but in the light of &lt;strong&gt;how you can help&lt;/strong&gt;.  If you set out to give your wife a lecture, she won't listen.  If you seek her out to offer your support, then you'll get somewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, with the shower situation, I see a conversation going something like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You - &quot;Hey, I was thinking about that shower situation the other day.  I'm wondering if there's something I can do to help prevent a situation like that in the future.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wife - &quot;No, that's just the way she is.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Y - &quot;Yeah, maybe.  But there's got to be something we can do.  That's not the best situation, and there's got to be a way of doing something.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;W - &quot;If she would just listen, this wouldn't be a problem.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Y - &quot;Maybe if we try something different, it will be more effective.  Could I try something the next time we need her to take care of something?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;W - &quot;Sure, but she won't listen.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is to get your wife to buy in to your participation in the parenting relationship with your stepdaughter.  Once she buys in to you being involved, you'll have much greater leeway to affect change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you get your wife's OK to be more involved with your step-daughter, now you can have a sit-down with the SD to talk about her behavior and expectations.  Make sure she feels like she has a voice, and get to the root of her objections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To avoid cluttering may main answer, I wanted to raise this objection separately:  it seriously concerns me that your wife is striking her 11y/o daughter.  That behavior at that age indicates a significant lack of communication between your wife and your daughter that is manifesting itself as an emotional outburst, rather than constrained authority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, raising that point directly with your wife at this point may undo any chance you have of becoming more involved in raising your SD.  My strategy would be to focus on opening lines of communication, hopefully circumventing this problem without having to directly address it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11389" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T16:37:09.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21248" CreationDate="2015-07-17T16:55:10.413" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would be far more concerned about his access to mature media, especially when you have a problem with it, than his reaction to it.  I doubt he is mature enough to understand/handle/normalize much/most of it at 11, and he shouldn't have free access to these things without your consent/knowledge.  In fact, I would expect a strange reaction from someone who can't properly digest, contextualize, and extract values from, a novel like 1984.  It is not light reading.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't know he is just so young to have a mind like this how to get him to be more normal  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would banish the thought of comparing specific behaviors and thoughts to any idea of &quot;normal&quot;.  Rather, &lt;em&gt;typical&lt;/em&gt; is a term I would use to compare milestones or general behaviors/attitudes.  There is no normal when it comes to thoughts, fantasies, dreams, or imagination.  There is really only &lt;em&gt;appropriate&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;inappropriate&lt;/em&gt;.  A Clock Work Orange is not appropriate for any 11-year-old, under any circumstances.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expecting &quot;normal&quot;, and communicating to your son that you don't think he is normal, (it's not clear whether you have or not), can be extremely damaging to his self-image, and to your relationship with him.  I think it sometimes about my own, but it should never be expressed to him or be made shared with him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, I agree that you should discuss with your son, as in-depth as you can, all of these movies and books and what about them intrigues your son, and keep as open a dialogue as you can about the material he is consuming - how he feels about it, what he thinks it means, how it relates to his life (not all at once by the way).  It is unlikely that he has a perfect understanding of the material, whether or not he can recite passages or present a synopsis of the story or plot.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is going to continue to have access to these materials, then he is really going to benefit from some guidance and discussion of what he is viewing and reading.  And the more you participate in this, the more influence you will have in guiding his development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T16:55:10.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21247" CreationDate="2015-07-17T18:10:34.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;With an issue like this, I will always recommend professional counseling. Unlike other communication problems, the problems you're experiencing have a direct effect on the emotional and mental health of your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A family therapist could help you learn to communicate with your wife about these manners, and how to handle her outbursts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, your daughter's behavior is really the side-issue. While your wife remains physically and verbally abusive, you're not likely to see any positive results in your daughter. Your daughters, both of them, are also learning that screaming, hitting, and throwing tantrums are ways to get what they want, which is not a positive lesson you want them to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife and daughter should also receive their own counseling. This will help your wife manage her anger and give her methods for properly handling her frustration. Your daughter can get help to make sure she realizes that she doesn't deserve the types of responses she's getting from her mother, and that it's not her fault her mother acts that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Counseling can also help your entire family unit learn how to communicate your desires and emotions with each other in a constructive manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would love to recommend some immediate action, but your specific situation involves more details than we can or should be privy to. You need to come up with a way to communicate to your wife that you're absolutely not okay with the yelling or hitting, and a way to prevent or end those episodes (possibly by physically removing your daughter, if necessary). However, a trained professional may know a better way to do these things based on your unique family situation and history.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T18:10:34.590" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21263" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-17T18:29:03.067" Score="-3" ViewCount="4363" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 17 year old daughter took a uber with the credit card I got for her yesterday,  I did not give her permission to go to Houston to visit her bf, and she still went without respecting my decision as parent, what do I so with this girl? do 17 years old are they considered adults to do whatever they want? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sue &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17264" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T18:50:42.300" Title="Is a 17 year old considered an adult to go out whenever they want? what does the law says?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-07-17T19:21:01.140" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21263" CreationDate="2015-07-17T18:50:42.300" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In your state, you are legally responsible for the care and well-being of your daughter &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/CP/htm/CP.129.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;until the age of 18&lt;/a&gt;, and have legal control over them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;CIVIL PRACTICE AND REMEDIES CODE&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TITLE 6. MISCELLANEOUS PROVISIONS&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;CHAPTER 129. AGE OF MAJORITY&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sec. 129.001.  AGE OF MAJORITY.  &lt;strong&gt;The age of majority in this state is 18 years.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/SOTWDocs/PE/htm/PE.21.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;age of consent in Texas&lt;/a&gt;, in which it is not considered a crime to engage in consenting sexual intercourse is 17.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PENAL CODE&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TITLE 5. OFFENSES AGAINST THE PERSON&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;CHAPTER 21. SEXUAL OFFENSES&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;...&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Sec. 21.11.  INDECENCY WITH A CHILD.  (a)  A person commits an offense if, with a child &lt;strong&gt;younger than 17 years of age&lt;/strong&gt;, whether the child is of the same or opposite sex, the person:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And according to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.star-telegram.com/opinion/editorials/article3851392.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;local reports&lt;/a&gt;, a child of 17 years that commits a crime will be tried as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on this information:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are &lt;em&gt;allowed&lt;/em&gt; to control your daughter, or tell her what to do, in the eyes of the law. You are legally allowed to prevent her from going to places, if you so choose. This knowledge will not make her obey you, so I highly recommend asking another question regarding how to set and enforce expectations with your near-adult child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, I would immediately revoke her credit card privileges if she's using it in a way you don't agree with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T18:50:42.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21265" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21294" CreationDate="2015-07-17T18:52:21.970" Score="3" ViewCount="29309" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 10 year old stepdaughter has trouble going to bed at night.&#xA;She refuses to go to bed, and fights us very hard, to the point where our only hope of her going to bed is to physically pick her up and put her in her bed. Then, we have to keep picking her up and putting her back into bed, up to a couple of dozen times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her attitude and behaviour are fine until we ask her to go to bed... it's like a switch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The routine goes a little like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We say godnight and ask her to go to bed. The first one or two requests are usually ignored. When we stop requesting and start telling, she responds with &quot;No&quot;, &quot;make me&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is usually followed by delaying tactics or inventing reasons to come back downstairs. We reach a point where the only response she will receive is the word &quot;Bed&quot;, followed by physically putting her there if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can go on like this until after midnight, and she will vehemently complain, insult, argue, scream, shout, hit things, slam doors, say hurtful things, throw stuff, and has at one point struck one of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have recently suffered through 3 weeks of this with only a single night off (which was rewarded). We have been consistent with not budging on bedtime while allowing other things that aren't as important, so the frequency started to lessen. However it crops back up and is a real pain on a weeknight - and I don't want to give over any random weeknight to keeping one of the kids in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a better way to deal with this other than our current method of asking nicely up to 3 times, then telling, then physically putting her in bed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do think that she just wants more attention and are doing our best to give her as much as possible. Assuming we can find &amp;amp; help with the root cause, how do we deal with the symptoms without losing our sleep-deprived minds?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13217" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-17T18:55:50.800" LastActivityDate="2017-03-25T11:15:44.773" Title="10 year old refuses to go to bed" Tags="|behavior|discipline|pre-teen|bedtime|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21250" CreationDate="2015-07-17T19:30:44.030" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Right now, your child is still primarily cooing or babbling, which is one of the ways infants learn to use the parts of their body necessary for speech. Cooing and babbling are good signs, and should be encouraged! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 9 months, your son could start saying a recognizable word any day, or it could even be another 9 months away. Each child is different, and what age they start speaking within the 9 to 14 month range is generally not an indicator of advanced or delayed development, and 18 months isn't unusual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, continue speaking around and to your child, and encourage them to continue their babbling. Children initially learn language through reception, which means they start &lt;em&gt;understanding&lt;/em&gt; what's being said to them. Only later (or possibly very soon for you) do they begin expressive language, where they start using words they know. As you continue talking to your baby, they'll start understanding more words. Eventually, they'll want to say them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also want to try adjusting the manner in which you speak around your child. Specifically, it's worth investigating and trying Infant Directed Speech (IDS).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IDS, sometimes called baby talk, has a few specific characteristics, which do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; include using made-up &quot;baby&quot; words, such as &quot;wub wub&quot; or &quot;goochy goochy goo&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The pitch of the voice is higher&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Vowels are stretched out&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pauses between words are slightly exaggerated&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The theory is that using IDS in such a way makes it easy for an infant to discern when words start and stop, and thus separate one word from another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this is an exciting time, it will be important for you to properly manage your expectations, and not get frustrated if your child's first word is months away. Also, you won't really be able to influence which word is the first one she chooses to or is capable of saying. Continue using a variety of words, without necessarily focusing on repeating a single word. While he may not yet be speaking, his is still learning words (receptive language), and keeping up the variety of words not only exposes him to a greater vocabulary, but a greater variety of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoneme&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;phonemes&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, my wife and I made sure to refer to one another by name whenever speaking around our son. Instead of, &quot;Hi&quot;, it'd be &quot;Hi, Mama.&quot; Instead of, &quot;What's for dinner?&quot; it'd be &quot;What's for dinner, Papa?&quot; I can't say it helped him say &quot;Mama&quot; or &quot;Papa&quot; any sooner, but I would say our conscious (over)use of those words helped him more quickly learn to understand them, and to associate them with the correct parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some web references for you. They don't contain the scientific studies, but their information is consistent with the related research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/first-words/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/first-words/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-talk.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-talk.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/look_whos_talking.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/look_whos_talking.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-17T19:58:19.990" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T19:58:19.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21267" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-17T19:37:59.710" Score="1" ViewCount="872" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boyfriend has a little 6 year old girl and she won't listen to us.  I really don't understand what to do...  I am not the type of person to spank, but she has forced me to the past couple days.  Her temper tantrums have gotten worse as has the whining and the fake crying to get her way, but for some reason it just keeps getting worse.  We have even started to take things away, but that doesn't help either.  We have tried a ticket system, rewards system, positive reinforcement.  Everything...  Help!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17265" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T00:42:29.963" Title="Almost 6 year old girl bad behavior" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21093" CreationDate="2015-07-17T19:42:16.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could paper and a pencil. If you use a notebook, you can write exactly what you want. You can record stuff about the meal such as date, individual ingredients, beverages, amount eaten, etc. You can also record when there are incidents you think are food related, such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. You can also have multiple notebooks, or just share one between everyone feeding your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you need a little more structure, I would recommend a &quot;meal tracker&quot; or &quot;food journal&quot; notebook. There are a large variety of these, so you'd have to find one with the fields you'd like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I'd prefer using a spreadsheet program. Many of the most popular spreadsheet programs these days have cloud integration, collaboration features, and are accessible on mobile devices. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using a spreadsheet also gives you more control over the structure of what you record, and stores your data in a format that makes it easier for you to analyze.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can label rows and columns so that everyone puts the same information in the same spot. You could have a separate tab/page for meals vs. incidents, and really whatever else you could want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I won't suggest a particular product or app, but I would say spreadsheets are a really easy (and probably free) way for you to record this information easily. Most apps that record this type of information are going to be storing your data in much the same way, but making your user interface look a little more pretty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T19:42:16.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21259" CreationDate="2015-07-17T19:55:33.283" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The ultimate goal of any punishment or discipline method ought to be discouraging a repeat of that behavior in future. It sounds like he's more focused on the part where he's done wrong and deserves punishment — not making the next leap of logic to the part where he's learning from mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter frequently sneaks junk food into her room late at night, and nearly as frequently gets caught (and gets in trouble). Once she came to me, very subdued, and handed me a list of escalating punishments that she thought would help discourage her in future. For the first infraction: &lt;em&gt;No books for a week. No dessert for a week. Bedtime half hour earlier.&lt;/em&gt; For the second: &lt;em&gt;Cut up library card. No dessert for a month. Bedtime one hour earlier.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a long, long talk about whether any of that would really help, or just stress her out and make her feel unappreciated (both emotional states that tend to trigger her junk food binges). It helped in a few ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;coming up with some self-discipline ideas (talk to a parent or friend before you turn to the cookies)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;coming up with ideas for realistic, proportional punishment (she has to buy a replacement food item, especially if she steals a sibling's treat, from her own money)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it helped her focus on the underlying cause of the problem (craving a quick way to feel happy)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last was the most important part for her, in my opinion. It changed her outlook from &quot;I'm a hopelessly bad girl who can't stop stealing candy bars&quot; to more like &quot;sugar is just a substitute for being happy&quot; — this is something she can grapple with, unlike &quot;hopelessly bad.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you've already got a lot of building blocks for that (based on your comment that you provide &quot;explanation of what he did wrong, why, how it made others feel, and what he can do to put it right&quot;), but your step-son needs to be more engaged in the conversation and get to the point of self-analyzing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I think that concern over &lt;em&gt;who&lt;/em&gt; makes the ultimate decision about a punishment is somewhat misplaced. It's legitimate to negotiate a punishment somewhat: more commonly the child declares something is totally unfair....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This is totally unfair!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;em&gt;What I'm trying to show you is that you did something really wrong. Do you have an alternative suggestion?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  I should only lose computer time for a day, not a week!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And at this point I get a chance to calm down, reconsider, think about consequences and so on; was I overreacting out of anger, or am I justified? (Usually I was justified. Occasionally, not.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But this can also go the other way as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I deserve to lose my favorite toy forever!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;em&gt;I get that you're feeling really guilty about this. I think that [our alternative] is a more proportional idea, though.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  No, definitely take the toy.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;em&gt;I'm glad to see you feel bad, but will this really help you keep from doing X in the future? How?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And this should be his moment to calm down, think about it, and ask if that loss will really change things or it's just punishment for the sake of punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is something that is tough for kids to do when they're already upset, and he's also fairly young still. It's worth a shot, and he should get better at it over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T19:55:33.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21270" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-17T20:54:52.437" Score="2" ViewCount="16634" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I live in a 2-bedroom apartment. We think that a minicrib is a more is a more space efficient option than a full size crib but we are concerned that our child will outgrow it too fast. Does anyone have experience with smaller cribs and how old their child was when they left?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17269" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-27T12:23:37.730" LastActivityDate="2019-08-31T14:36:29.523" Title="How long can a child sleep in a minicrib?" Tags="|age-appropriate|crib|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21265" CreationDate="2015-07-17T21:07:21.737" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice only comes from other things I have read recently on this site - if I could find the exact questions again I would link them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I would read from a similar question for a 7-year-old. Try looking at &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/12746/11426&quot;&gt;This Answer&lt;/a&gt;. Communication is important because it keeps you from just shooting in the dark.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may have better luck by &quot;counting down&quot; until bedtime. By this, I mean give her an hour warning, a thirty minute warning, a 10 minute warning, and a 5 minute warning. (&lt;em&gt;or some set interval of warnings anyway&lt;/em&gt;) This should replace your &quot;3 times asking nicely&quot;. This helps give her some time to adjust to the idea that soon the day will be over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, it is bedtime. She might be upset that she has no choice in this matter. (&lt;em&gt;&quot;No, make me&quot;&lt;/em&gt;) Giving her a choice on something else may help her feel more in control of herself. Maybe she gets to choose her bedtime outfit, or, the best idea I came up with(&lt;em&gt;I think&lt;/em&gt;), is to let her choose a book that you can read to her, since this also might help if she is acting out of need for attention. If she still stalls and tries to delay bedtime, it cuts into book reading time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If doing all of that doesn't work, make sure you keep communicating. There is a reason she does what she does, and you might get more details which help you come up with a better solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T22:14:58.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21270" CreationDate="2015-07-17T21:20:30.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming you mean an actual minicrib, which in the US has a size of aroiund 38 inches long by 23 inches wide (for the mattress), this will depend on your child heavily.  (For comparison, a full/standard sized crib is 58 inches by 28 inches.)  (Note: minicribs seem to vary some, particularly on the width.  Make &lt;em&gt;sure&lt;/em&gt; the crib you buy and the mattress you buy are intended for each other size-wise - there should be &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; space around the mattress.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The average American child is a bit under 3 feet tall (36&quot;) at 2 years old.  As such, unless your family tends towards the tall end of things, he will be able to lie lengthwise on the bed until he's about 2.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, kids tend to be movers, and that's where this gets complicated.  Some children will only use a corner of whatever crib you give them - and so wouldn't notice the difference.  Some children only get a good night's sleep when they can roll about the crib/bed extensively, and need that extra space, in particular the width (a minicrib is around 15% narrower than a full crib).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Minicribs aren't likely to be substantially less safe than a full crib, as opposed to a pack-and-play or a bassinet, which are less safe at the point when the baby can move around some (both due to an easier time getting out/collapsing, and for SIDS reasons).  Since they're built like a regular crib, they should be as safe (as long as you get the right size of crib mattress).  I couldn't find any evidence of safety or lack thereof specific to minicribs, though, so this is just my reasoning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some research of comment threads online, like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/lets-talk-about-mini-cribs-117335&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this blog post&lt;/a&gt;, suggest that mini-cribs work for some until they graduate to a toddler bed, while others do not.  That's the real goal here, of course: make it to the toddler bed, at which point you dump the crib and get a toddler bed.  You will need a separate toddler bed, likely, unless you manage to find a convertible that converts to using the larger mattress (which does exist). You may have to convert early (though we converted both of our children by 18 months with no issues).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T21:20:30.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21265" CreationDate="2015-07-17T21:29:03.297" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you asked her why she resists bedtime so much?  By 10 she should be fully capable of discussing this on an adult level.  Ask her.  Don't do it during bedtime, at least at first (though later on that may be necessary to get all of the details).  Don't do it in an accusatory way.  Just ask:  &quot;Why don't you like going to bed?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it started recently, there may be a trigger.  She may have nightmares.  She's close to (or in) puberty; she may be experiencing hormonal changes that affect her sleep.  Maybe something is going on at school.  Or maybe this is just where she chooses to make a show of exerting control over her life (and come into conflict with you as a result).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also may simply have a hard time going to sleep.  Around that age it took me hours, literally, to fall asleep - starting at 10pm.  It took me years to learn how to cope with that - and while I was a compliant child and never utterly refused to go to bed, I certainly stayed up reading covertly much of the time while I learned to deal with it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is having trouble going to sleep, or is frustrated that it's boring, or any number of other similar issues, come prepared with some solutions.  Maybe there are things you can compromise on, like giving her a book light or a backlit Kindle so she doesn't have a big light on but can still read until she falls asleep.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, I liked to make up stories, usually imagining I'm a superhero or I'm the main character in a book I was reading.  I would spend hours just in my head acting out adventures - and eventually fall asleep without getting too bored.  This is a common problem with very intelligent children, particularly ones with very active minds who need stimulation: being in an unstimulating (dark, quiet) environment is &lt;em&gt;boring&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;frustrating&lt;/em&gt;.  I could imagine acting out.  Give her the tools to deal with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T21:29:03.297" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21217" CreationDate="2015-07-17T22:06:44.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll share two related experiences. I was brought up by tiger parents, or chronically disapproving parents in a different cultural framework. In some respects it was torture but no pain, no gain. If this hadn't happened I may have grown up a more 'normal' person and I may have been happier but I probably would have been less successful. Is the added success and the nice lifestyle and the satisfaction I get from my success worth the (possible) extra pain I experience from insecurity? I don't know, but I don't think pushing is always bad, it's just different. Tuning the approach to the child is optimal but that is a very fine line to walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I felt and still feel that my sister's husband is spoiling my nephew. Not in a harmless way, but in the way that he is now diagnosed ADHD because (I believe) he has no self-control because (I believe) he's never experienced any external controls from his parents. I spoke to her about it and tried to be as gentle and careful as possible and it was a &lt;em&gt;terrible&lt;/em&gt; idea. She did not hear a word I was saying because the issue cuts so close to people's emotions that they cannot rationally process what you are saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering that what you're saying is an opinion and it could ruin your relationship for almost certainly no benefit to the child I recommend: Just. Don't. Do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17273" LastActivityDate="2015-07-17T22:06:44.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21275" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21293" CreationDate="2015-07-17T22:39:54.553" Score="6" ViewCount="377" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a little more complicated than it might seem, so I'll give some back-story.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have 2 kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The oldest, 11, was born to us during my first year of college, and I was only intermittently in the picture due to distance, and relationship instability at that point.  He is diagnosed with moderate autism, but is extremely high functioning and has a high IQ.  He is fairly creative and has a very good ability to think abstractly. He has a fair number of great qualities, but the negative behavior so dominates daily life that it really overshadows many of the good times daily.  He also has significant social-behavior &lt;em&gt;problems&lt;/em&gt;, and very poor impulse control, and frequently gets in trouble.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We have a fairly high-stress and contentious relationship with this one.  He will not complete any chores without significant involvement by one or both parents; he (quite viciously sometimes) argues just about everything that requires him to do anything other than what he is doing at the moment.  This is emotionally taxing and makes it difficult to connect and maintain a connection him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The youngest, 3, was born to us after we reconciled, had moved in together for about a year or two, and had a stable relationship.  He was a relatively early talker, is highly verbal and intelligent.  He has his own issues that are hard to deal with, but he has not yet hit the pre-teen argumentative/defiant stage-or anything resembling it.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, the 11-year-old is traveling out-of-state to visit family.  My question is, other than taking time to more closely bond with the 3-year-old, and taking time to &quot;recharge&quot;, what can actively be done in anticipation of our 11-year-old's return to prepare and, quite honestly, regroup, for a stronger/smarter/more understanding approach?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I might also be asking, is &quot;what are some good, fresh approaches to use with an argumentative, effort-avoiding, back-talking, smart ass whom I was not fully prepared to (positively) interact with as a parent in the first place&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-18T05:43:58.567" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T23:05:08.723" Title="How best to take advantage of a child's extended vacation" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|relationships|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21092" CreationDate="2015-07-18T00:00:36.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this depends more on the child and the parents, and how they approach and respond to the situation, than on the event.  In fact, I would argue that the long-term outcome depends almost entirely on the parents (at least their overall parenting approach/effectiveness, and how they handle this situation), since I would expect them to have a very strong influence in this boy's life.  There are also very likely factors that are unknown, but I will ignore them since they are unknown and because I would still expect the parents to have the strongest influence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people in my experience (and from stories/media/movies/etc.) are not defined by a single moment in their life, even if they distinctly remember very important &quot;milestones&quot;.  These events are just important, even sometimes life-altering events, but they don't define the individual.  The individual is defined by how he responds and adapts to these events.  Mature individuals, especially strong, confident ones, take these events &quot;in stride&quot;, gain what they can from them, and keep going.  This means not saddling up the high-horse when something great happens, and not wallowing in the mud when something awful happens.  Those who do let events in their life define them as a person are what I understand as &quot;having a chip on their shoulder&quot;, &quot;recapturing the glory&quot;, or some other such metaphor for trying to get away from something unpleasant they can't let go of, or trying to relive something they can't accept as having passed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main difference here is the sheer scale of the event, which could make it trickier to accept, and give it a larger impact than a similar event of smaller scale might have.  Having a college fund provided by a stranger is a very uncommon and unusual event, and is something that could completely change the course of ones life &lt;em&gt;provided he seizes and takes ownership of that opportunity&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would expect the immediate implications to be, generally, a sense of overwhelming joy and happiness, a rush of new &quot;friends&quot;, and, potentially, a number of down-players (who are most likely acting entirely out of jealousy).  Any long term outcomes, in my opinion, will depend &lt;em&gt;entirely&lt;/em&gt; on the parents and the childs response to the event and their subsequent decisions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no discrete answer to this; there are only possibilities.  There will almost certainly be a mix of positive and negative outcomes (since no one is perfect), and I would optimistically expect them to weigh-in toward the positive overall (since I think most people want to be good in the first place).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Some &lt;em&gt;likely&lt;/em&gt; negative outcomes I could see occurring&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Inflated sense of importance/ego&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expecting such things to happen again&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeling (overly) pressured to live up to some new standard or expectation so as to not &quot;let down&quot; all those nice people or to pay back something that really can't be fully repaid, and which shouldn't be viewed as a debt.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Fake&quot; friends&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a laundry list of problems stemming from any one of these &quot;primary&quot; issues, which I would expect could be nipped in the bud through a grounded approach to integrating this event back into daily life, accepting it graciously (and gracefully), taking full advantage of every opportunity it grants you, and owning both the process and the outcome of these actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastActivityDate="2015-07-18T00:00:36.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-18T00:10:28.830" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a vague recollection of asking &quot;how come?&quot; &quot;how?&quot; and &quot;what?&quot; in rapid succession as a young child, when confronted with a new topic. These are among the (mostly) &quot;w&quot; words that are question words. So that child will want to know more about topics like &quot;water&quot; and &quot;transparent.&quot; And he's also getting a good &quot;workout&quot; on the question words themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13664" LastActivityDate="2015-07-18T00:10:28.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21250" CreationDate="2015-07-18T00:55:51.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every child develops at his own pace, but let me say this: those coos, ohhs, and aahs are him speaking to you.  You just haven't learned what he's saying. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He learns by listening, then repeating. The best technique for you teaching him is, therefore: &lt;strong&gt;talk, listen, encourage.&lt;/strong&gt; Repeat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Importantly, don't just say the same word over and again. That's how you train a parrot. Use the words in context, give a detailed play by play. Kids are sponges, and you want them to absorb the &lt;em&gt;language&lt;/em&gt; not just &lt;em&gt;words&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7219" LastEditorUserId="7219" LastEditDate="2015-07-18T10:26:25.933" LastActivityDate="2015-07-18T10:26:25.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21173" CreationDate="2015-07-18T11:41:21.983" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd target an answer that's both &lt;strong&gt;accurate&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;appropriate&lt;/strong&gt; to his level of understanding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A water related counter-example - I heard a young boy ask his father why it rained. The father answered &quot;because the plants need water to grow.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The guy failed on both points. The water cycle is pretty cool and not tough to explain to a child, as we've all seen puddles evaporate, and can launch from there into the process of cloud formation, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His failure on accuracy really struck me. I couldn't tell if he was trying to go the 'God' route or was just struggling for what he thought was the simplest answer, but either way, he blew it in my opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3706" LastActivityDate="2015-07-18T11:41:21.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21283" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-18T12:13:53.270" Score="8" ViewCount="25780" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 months old daughter has stopped eating recently and drinking also. Before, she used to eat many different kinds of food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About 3 weeks ago we took her to the doctor for her MMR vaccination and since then we noticed that she gradually lost her appetite and refused to eat. We took her to our local GP doctor and he said she looks fine, so nothing to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today we took her to the emergency as she completely stopped eating or drinking and they said also that she is ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are not sure what to do. To be honest, we are worried about her health, here in Norway they don't help so much, they want babies to grow naturally, but sometimes we need some kind of help. What should we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17278" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-18T19:59:42.167" LastActivityDate="2020-09-28T02:48:39.367" Title="14 month old baby no longer eating or drinking after MMR vaccine" Tags="|eating|immunizations|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21283" CreationDate="2015-07-18T12:48:31.780" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Worry is a normal part of parenting.  Internet advice from another parent may help, but do try and take comfort in the current diagnosis from your local doctors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies, children, and even adults go through phases of liking and disliking foods, phases of wanting to eat lots and wanting to eat little.  Last week, my daughter would barely pick at her food.  This week, she can't get enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, the best we can do is provide the opportunity.  Keep on your routine.  Feed her what you eat, when you eat.  If she refuses, encourage.  Don't force.  And try not to worry.  If she doesn't want a meal, encourage snacking.  You might even make a game of it.  Pour some cool water into a small cup, and let her practice sipping out of it.  The new experience may invigorate her sprits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can tell you this: if you worry, your daughter will pick up on it.  And it may change her mood.  If you force her, she will likely refuse.  Just keep encouraging her!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7219" LastActivityDate="2015-07-18T12:48:31.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21283" CreationDate="2015-07-18T13:39:40.120" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;From experience, if a child refuses to eat, it may be because she's coming down with a cold, gastro-enteritis or someting. It could also be a mild virus infection that shows no &quot;real&quot; symptoms - there are like a billion of viruses out there and a clear diagnosis is sometimes almost impossible. Usually nothing to worry about. Another very simple reason to refuse food and drink is pain, so check for a sore throat or something as simple as teething. Another possible cause of pain is hand-foot-mouth disease, but I suppose that would have been diagnosed already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is no apparent reason for her refusal, let her be. Children have very varying appetites and usually a good instinct of what they need and when. Offer her food and drink regularly and try to tempt her by putting out both her favourite and new choices. But honestly, this is for your benefit more than hers, as it would probably calm &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; to see her eating at least something. Make the food and drink available, but don't try to force or coax her into eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the consequences of her refusing to eat and drink:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A day or two of fasting isn't a problem, but monitor her well as far as fluids are concerned. Dehydration can be extremely dangerous for babies - and happen real fast, especially if she looses liquids (vomiting or diarrhea). Refusing to drink may be fine if is she still nursing or drinking formula, but not if she refuses all sources of liquids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do some research how to recognize dehydration in children and if she shows any symptoms, go back to the ER. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First symptoms are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;darker, smellier urine, fewer diapers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dry skin and mouth, parched lips&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;tearless crying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lethargy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get your child to the ER  at once if you (additionally) notice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sunken eyes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in babies, a sunken fontanelle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;discoloration / splotchiness on hands or feet&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;excessive sleepiness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dizzyness or disorientation (hard to spot at that age)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-07-18T18:14:56.590" LastActivityDate="2015-07-18T18:14:56.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21259" CreationDate="2015-07-18T19:57:33.783" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm focusing on the concept of him stating &quot;I don't deserve it&quot; especially in an instance where the self-imposed punishment isn't directly related to the &quot;crime&quot; in question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far the only punishment I impose is to send my children to their room to figure out what they did wrong and then, after a short time, to apologize to me or their sibling for what they did. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I lose my temper and bark at one of them I'll be sure at some point in the day to tell them, perhaps when I put them to bed, that they should never imagine how I feel about them changes based on my mood and that even if I happen to be angry about a behavior at some point that I still and will always love them very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I mention all this background is that the statement of not deserving a toy, or an allowance, suggests that for some reason there may be a reduction in self-value based on a mistake or lapse of judgment. If possible it would be nice to undo the loss of self-value as part of punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you run into an issue where different households have had different modes of discipline, then perhaps work to develop an understanding that &quot;this is how we do things in this family&quot; and perhaps keep it at that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you have suggested it does not seem clear that the self-punishment will have an impact on behavior any more than the understanding of the wrong itself and its impact on others would. You could express a positive opinion of the child and state that you are sure they understood what they did wrong and that you are confident that they have learned a lesson and will do better without the need for additional self-punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they insist on self-punishment, perhaps put what they gave up in an accessible place and tell them to retrieve it whenever they want to? This removes having you be involved, by them, in applying their self-imposed punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, this helps you develop comfort on their part that their worth, in your eyes, never changes with short term behavior. It expresses confidence in their ability to do the right thing and grow. And, potentially, it might work to insulate them from the impact of different disciplinary regimens whether ongoing or prior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastEditorUserId="17123" LastEditDate="2015-07-20T10:00:51.273" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T10:00:51.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21283" CreationDate="2015-07-18T19:57:38.180" Score="34" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;About 3 weeks ago we took her to the doctor for her MMR vaccination and since then we noticed that she gradually lost her appetite and refused to eat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The timing of this change in appetite is obviously somewhat alarming to you. Parents often have a pretty good sense of if their children are truly ill (or different.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've seen two doctors now who have tried to reassure you, but you are still concerned. It's time to start collecting evidence, for your sake (and ultimately for the baby's sake.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stephanie gave good advice about dehydration. When it's that obvious to you, it will also be obvious to the doctor, so how do you judge less eating and drinking that doesn't produce such clear clinical signs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Weigh her diapers.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get a scale that measures grams. Weigh the diaper before you put it on; then weigh the diaper within a couple of minutes of coming off (or curl it into a ball so it can't dry out, and weigh as soon as possible.) That's called urinary output. Write it down every time. Record the poop and it's consistency, too. If she's only mildly dehydrated, her poop will be drier/harder, because the colon reabsorbs water from fecal matter. The less hydrated she is, the more water is reabsorbed, and the drier the poop will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try to record her fluid intake, too.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will be harder, because of spillage, guestimating, etc. Together, this is called I&amp;amp;Os - intake and output. If you're breastfeeding, this will obviously be impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't bother recording her food intake.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is truly eating less over a sustained period of time, she will fall off her growth chart. At 14 months, she won't take long to do this. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/data/set1clinical/cj41c018.pdf&quot;&gt;This is a girl's growth chart&lt;/a&gt;. It's used pretty much all over the world. You can get her previous readings from an office nurse (get the dates, too) and plot them out yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take videos of her playing and interacting.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compare them to videos taken before. Are they really different? How? Make notations of loss of skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doctors are human. If you're worried that this is vaccine-related, they will try to reassure you that it's not (and with good reason), because vaccine related illness is very rare. But not even doctors can argue with well-documented facts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I think she's suffering from a vaccine-related illness? No, I don't. However, though rare, it's not impossible. Also, as stated by others, this could be any number of things, most of which are not serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that in the presence of food and water in plenty, a &lt;em&gt;normal&lt;/em&gt; child will not starve or dehydrate. You've seen two doctors who found nothing remarkable. Give it some time. It's not as if an anti-vaccine shot exists that must be given as soon as possible to make a non-specific cluster of symptoms disappear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's becoming more constipated (stools are drier/harder), falling off her growth chart, or is, in a way that can be documented, different from before, take her back to the doctor with facts in hand. Facts are harder to ignore, and a reasonable doctor will look at them objectively. If the facts document that something has changed and the doctor still doesn't pay attention, ask for a second opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that she will be fine, and this is the best anyone can do over the internet: guess. You, however, can do better. You can gather facts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps you to feel less powerless in this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="1385" LastEditDate="2015-08-22T13:51:28.683" LastActivityDate="2015-08-22T13:51:28.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21283" CreationDate="2015-07-19T04:01:23.707" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Loss of appetite is a side effect that sometimes occurs after a measles vaccine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your situation, if a doctor determines that this is a simple reaction to the vaccine, and not a dangerous situation, it would be reasonable to expect him or her to&#xA; - provide information about known possible reactions, including a list of symptoms that have been reported (one of which can be loss of appetite)&#xA; - describe what to watch for -- under what circumstances should one bring the baby back in to the office, and under what circumstances one should take the baby to the ER&#xA; - offer practical advice about how to keep the baby comfortable and hydrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this particular GP is not a good match for you, you may want to consult a different one.  You could ask around to find someone who might be a good fit -- the phrase I usually use to describe what sort of doctor I'm looking for is &quot;allows me to partner with him or her in my (or my child's) health care.&quot;  Or I ask, What do you like about your doctor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ER doctors are a special breed.  You can expect them to save your life, or stitch up a wound, but for more everyday concerns, they are not always as helpful as a GP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to get an appointment with a pediatrician if there is one in your area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are nursing, and you are concerned about the effect the loss of appetite may have on your milk supply, you may want to contact a nursing mothers organization or a visiting nurse.  (I lived in Denmark when my son was born, and there was a visiting nurse who came to my house to support breastfeeding and answer other questions -- I wonder if you have that in Norway.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T04:01:23.707" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21259" CreationDate="2015-07-19T04:33:03.017" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Discipline is tricky with sensitive children.  On the one hand, you want to give negative feedback, in order to discourage the unwanted behavior in future; on the other hand, you don't want his self esteem to suffer.  It can be helpful to make it clear that his behavior was bad, but &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; isn't bad -- and you still love him.  If you notice that his self esteem is fragile, you may want to adjust the way you speak to him after an incident to be more gentle.  It's possible that the words or the tone you or your partner sometimes use is overwhelming for him.  You can figure out whether this is the case, if you watch for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you notice that he has figured out what he did wrong, and regrets it, you can show him that you see that, and appreciate it.  You might even be able to skip the scolding entirely, if you see that he really understands already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he chooses an additional consequence, as long as he's not questioning the consequence you determined, I don't think what he's doing amounts to questioning your authority.  Would it feel okay to thank him for his expression of regret, and allow him to assign himself an additional consequence if he takes that initiative?  With a sensitive child, it can be helpful to grab every chance you can to show him what a special person you find him to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A non-overwhelming consequence might be that the child doesn't get to come along to the grocery store (if that's something he enjoys), or to give him a couple of extra housework chores, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess what I'm trying to say is that a sensitive child may beat himself up about his mistakes much more than any consequence you may apply.  His attempt to apply an additional consequence of his own choosing might be a window into what's going on inside him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-07-20T03:10:33.347" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T03:10:33.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21275" CreationDate="2015-07-19T04:58:06.997" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can relate!  I currently have a pre-teen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During your 11yo's absence, perhaps you could write friendly, chatty letters to your child during his absence (stamp or email) to keep the connection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some ideas for reducing the stress, and improving your relationship:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cultivate common interests.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;get involved in some activities that involve other parent-pre-teen pairs.  Having other people around can be a civilizing influence.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In terms of chores, it might help to offer some choices.  Write down all the chores that have to be done on a regular basis on a clipboard.  Ask him which ones he dislikes the most, and cross those out. Then, you can make an effort not to ask him to do any of the crossed out ones (e.g. vacuuming, cleaning the toilet, or what have you).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the harping he does gets to you too much, you might hand him a notebook or a clipboard and tell him you are not in a good state to listen to his negativity at the moment, but that you do want to take his points into account, so his best bet would be to write them down for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19208/how-should-i-conduct-a-proper-timeout&quot;&gt;interesting thread about time-outs&lt;/a&gt; that might be worth reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to consider taking a Coop Extension parenting workshop or getting started with a family therapist.  In my town the workshops range from an isolated Saturday morning about a particular topic to a six-week series of one evening per week.  It can be really nice to connect with other parents and compare notes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T23:05:08.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21265" CreationDate="2015-07-19T05:51:45.053" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child's pediatrician or GP might be resource for managing this, and can also rule out a health condition that might be affecting the ability to sleep, for example, a thyroid imbalance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to look at is what activities are available to her after bedtime.  Her computer account should be shutting itself down at a certain time every evening.  While you are working on resolving the bedtime problem, the television will have to be off for everyone in the house starting at her bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to just let her read or wander around or do lego or whatever, wake her up at her normal time in the morning, and keep things moving during the day so that she doesn't take a nap.  Probably, within a couple of weeks, this would result in her figuring things out for herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, with a 10yo, I still do the whole bedtime routine thing.  This might not be your style, but I'll describe it in case it's helpful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;pleasant interaction during the pajama - teeth brushing - etc. routine (I'm wandering in and out, doing laundry-type things, and making sure child is progressing with getting ready for bed)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;then comes the bedtime reading, which we both look forward to.  We might be propped up on pillows next to each other, each taking a character -- in other words, sharing the reading out loud -- or I might be in a comfortable chair next to the bed, with the child snuggled up in bed listening, with a stuffed animal to hug.  For bedtime reading, I avoid material that is very exciting, such as Harry Potter.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;when I turn out the light (except for a night light), we do the kiss good night.  Tone of voice at this stage is key.  Sometimes I ask, What was the best part of your day?  Sometimes I share what was the best part of my day (usually something involving the child).  Sometimes there's a reminder about what's happening the next day, e.g. tomorrow is your piano lesson, come straight home from school please, or tomorrow you have a check-up after school, and I'll pick you up at dismissal.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;then I listen to a podcast to keep the child company.  I might do a little bit of back massage -- but only for about 2 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;one of my children has a condition that brings along insomnia.  For this child, if he's still awake after 30 minutes or so, I have him use the bathroom again, and then I let him listen to a podcast himself, to distract himself from the thoughts that are going around and around in his head.  Podcasts that work well for this are Car Talk and the Canadian program Comedy Factory.  These are light, mildly entertaining, not too exciting, and rather formulaic -- which makes them reassuring.  (I find them helpful myself!)  Make sure they are set up so that when the program is over, the mp3 player turns itself off (instead of playing another episode).  Alternatively, you can use a book on tape that the child has already listened to a couple of times -- then it will be just a bit boring, and not exciting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if the falling asleep process is taking so long that I'm getting sleepy, or losing patience, then I let the child know I'm going to go clean the kitchen but I will check on him from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, in your case, you've gotten yourselves a bit entrenched in a conflict.  Here's what you might want to do in this case:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if her normal bedtime is, say, 9:00, temporarily move it to 10:00.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;have her get into pajamas and brush teeth well before bedtime.  For example, at 7 pm you could say, Yes, we can play Monopoly Junior, but please get ready for bed first.  While you get ready, I'll set up the game.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if you think she's going to balk if you ask her to head into her room for the bedtime reading, just get started on the sofa.  When you're in a really interesting part, say you need to use the bathroom, and when you come out (hopefully she takes the hint to go too), say the light is too bright (or dim, or whatever) for you in the living room -- Let's read some more, but let's continue in your room.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;when you see that first yawn, it's time to look for a good stopping place.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a gadget that plays white noise, or ocean waves, etc., called a sound scape, which is quite helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swimming, hiking, biking, etc. during the day can be very helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My philosophy is that bedtime should be the nicest part of a child's day.  If the child looks forward to the snuggling and the bedtime reading, then there will be less conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T05:51:45.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21267" CreationDate="2015-07-19T06:16:39.100" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's difficult to give specific recommendations, without knowing more, but I'm going to share a couple of suggestions, based on observations I've made of whiny children I've seen in the grocery store.  It may be that everything I say is already obvious to you -- in that case, please give us more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You could try eliminating all electronics for a couple of weeks (cell phones, computers, televisions, gaming toys).  That would mean that you adults would not use them either.  You may need to use a phone occasionally, but keep it to a minimum, and make sure the phone is not accessible to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You could try eliminating all sweets for a couple of weeks -- and that would go for adults too.  To make this easy, make sure you don't have any junk food in the house.  Make sure you've got plenty of nutritious food on hand during this time.  Have some fun doing some cooking projects with your little one.  Six-year-olds can do a lot with a microwave, with direct supervision, and can get a real kick out of &quot;making dinner for Daddy&quot; -- salads work well at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Boredom is your enemy.  Keep her busy!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pick at most three behavior goals to work on at a time.  Pick your battles, in other words!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Catch her in the act of behaving well, and give her some low-key praise.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If there's some particularly troublesome behavior, don't get angry!  Let her know with a calm but disapproving voice that it was not good.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She needs fresh air and exercise every day!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Look for supportive ways to cope with the stress and take care of yourself.  Hitting her is an understandable reaction to the frustration you feel -- but it doesn't help.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My favorite parenting book is &quot;How to Talk So Kids Will Listen &amp;amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk&quot; by Faber and Mazlish.  It's got lots of great ideas, and is written in a comfortable, parent to parent style.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T06:16:39.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21253" CreationDate="2015-07-19T06:27:49.760" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps speaking with the director of the school will be helpful.  You might want to consider looking for a different school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few appointments with a social worker for play therapy might help your child feel more self-confident in his social skills, which might help him project a more assertive attitude.  This might prevent some of the attacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the attacks are serious, and the school does not respond reasonably to your complaints, in the U.S., you can go to the police -- I'm not sure about where you live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have the bad luck to live in a culture where teachers turn a blind eye to physical attacks, and a deaf ear to children's and parents' complaints, then you might look for some martial arts classes, such as judo.  These techniques would not be directly applicable at school, but they can be helpful indirectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T06:27:49.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21204" CreationDate="2015-07-19T07:02:49.453" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know anything about #2, but I have a lot of experience with #1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is an alarm you can buy (for example &lt;a href=&quot;http://bedwettingstore.com/bedwetting-alarms.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://bedwettingstore.com/bedwetting-alarms.html&lt;/a&gt;), and a helpful companion book, to work on the urination part of things.  It works best when the child feels ready.  What we did was to tell my son about the alarm and the approach, and wait until he asked me to buy an alarm.  He was 8.  In his case, he was dry during the day, but not at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get 504 plans for school.  I believe the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) would also cover them in extracurricular programs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get them big enough, you can use swim diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can use large pull-ups as though they were underwear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been studies that have found there is some correlation between wetting and/or soiling and ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A. von Gontard et al. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jurology.com/article/S0022-5347(11)04379-5/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Association of Attention Deficit and Elimination Disorders at School Entry: A Population Based Study&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;em&gt;The Journal of Urology&lt;/em&gt;, Volume 186, Issue 5, pp. 2027-2032. 2011. (The link goes to the journal article abstract; the study is discussed in more user-friendly language &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/10/21/us-wetting-adhd-idUSTRE79K65O20111021&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;in a Reuters article&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The authors point out that &quot;in clinical practice children with (incontinence) and ADHD have a much lower response rate to treatment than those with incontinence alone due to a lower compliance.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Michael W. Mellon et al. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.academicpedsjnl.net/article/S1876-2859(13)00044-2/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Incidence of Enuresis and Encopresis Among Children With Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in a Population-Based Birth Cohort&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;em&gt;Academic Pediatrics&lt;/em&gt;, Volume 13, Issue 4, pp. 322-327. 2013. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theinsandoutsofpoop.com/insandouts/2014/01/adhd-and-constipation-encopresis.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This blog post&lt;/a&gt; points out that having a &quot;big picture&quot; understanding of a child, including a possible ADHD diagnosis, can &quot; be helpful in determing [sic] the best treatment plan&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These problems do not necessarily mean that one or both of your children have ADHD, but in order to identify management and coping strategies, it is helpful to know what you're dealing with, and then you can learn what has helped others with the same condition. So, you may want to evaluate your children for possible ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit -- I couldn't agree with you more about stimulant medication being overused!  Sorry for not making that clear. Having a discreet ADHD diagnosis in your back pocket need not automatically lead to medication, I see it as simply providing the parent with additional information, to make her job easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An ADHD diagnosis, if a parent is given one, doesn't need to be shared with the school or anyone else.  If you ask for a 504 plan, and the school pushes you for a diagnosis, you can give them a euphemism such as Executive Control difficulties, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-20T14:40:14.983" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T14:40:14.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21206" CreationDate="2015-07-19T07:46:45.703" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adding to Stephie's great answer --&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As she said, never correct -- simply &lt;em&gt;ask&lt;/em&gt;.  Example: &quot;Can we have 'paghetti, Daddy?&quot;  &quot;You want (slowly) spaghetti for dinner?&quot;  (Wait for nod or verbal response)  &quot;Let's see if we have some spaghetti in the cupboard, shall we?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If it's a multi-syllable word, and the child is getting them mixed up, step one is, you demonstrate the correct pronunciation, but in two distinct parts; then you say the first part, and let the child say the second part.  From there you may be able to get the child to say both distinct parts, with a little pause in between, or you may prefer to wait until another day for that step.  Example: child trips up on &quot;television&quot;; break it up as tele -- vision.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stephie gave the nice frog example.  In general, look for an intermediate step.  Example: child has trouble with &quot;brother&quot;.  Maybe something like this would be easier, temporarily: &quot;burrother&quot;.  If you determine that this is a good temporary solution, then just make sure you pronounce it that way for a few days or weeks, until the child can say it that way consistently and with confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a long-range supportive thing you can do (which you probably are doing!), and that is to arrange play dates or small play groups, where meaningful peer-to-peer and child-to-friend's-parent communication takes place.  I think that a child's motivation to conform to standard pronunciation will increase as he has more and more successful communication experiences with people outside his immediate family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T07:46:45.703" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21250" CreationDate="2015-07-19T07:51:36.617" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adding to the wonderful answers, there is something you can do (besides being patient, and speaking to your child in meaningful ways, as already mentioned).  You can read picture books to your child, adapting the text on the page in a flexible way.  This encourages language development, and is a fun activity for both of you.  If you are already doing this, keep it up, knowing that you are furthering your goal of helping your child become verbal!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T07:51:36.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21162" CreationDate="2015-07-19T08:36:02.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer is based on personal experience with a child with a clinical-level phobia (related to Tourette Syndrome and OCD), a lot of reading related to his diagnoses, and therapy for his OCD, which started about 3 months ago.  My child's phobia is not weather-related, but I'm going to try to apply what I've learned from dealing with his phobia, to your question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe your question is, what can a parent do to support a child who is fearful about weather, to prevent the fear from becoming a full-fledged phobia?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Check films carefully ahead of time, and nix a title if you think there is a strong chance it will make things worse for your child.  You can use the parent guide feature of IMDB, Commonsensemedia, and/or screenit.com.  Sometimes it is helpful to look at some key scene(s) on youtube, or even preview the film yourself in the theater, discreetly, on a different day.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Help your child find a way to talk back to the fear.  Humor may be helpful.  Example: one of my children was afraid of the cute little garden snails that graced my mother-in-law's garden in Germany when he was 4 and we visited her for several weeks.  Coincidentally, we did a cooking project together early in our stay that involved rolling out some bread dough, spreading butter on it, sprinkling with cinnamon sugar, rolling it up, slicing and then baking the slices.  I called them &lt;em&gt;caracoles&lt;/em&gt; (snails).  So a few days later when I noticed my son tensing up and shrinking whenever we passed a garden snail, I would shake my finger at the snail and say, &quot;&lt;em&gt;Yo como caracoles!&lt;/em&gt; I eat snails!&quot;  My son loved it and would say it too.  The pleasant association with the sweet bread, and the humor, would help him make it through the front garden and into the house in one piece....  There's a scene in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy stands up to the Cowardly Lion right after they've just met, that might be worth reading, rereading and reciting by heart, I think, during thunder storms.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider carefully what you say.  As the parent, you have a huge influence on your child's thinking.  (This is in relation to the train remark.)  I don't meant to point a finger at your mother -- some children are more predisposed to have significant problems with fearfulness.  That's nobody's fault.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you live in an area with particular weather threats, and your child is freaking out, you may want to give your child a breather from time to time by taking him or her with you for an extended visit to a friend or relative in a less dangerous area.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Prepare a cozy refuge in the basement, and visit it sometimes with your child when there is no bad weather occurring, or predicted.  This is similar to the idea of sometimes putting your cat in the carrier for a little while on a day when you are NOT going to the vet.  Having a spare mattress down there to have a nap on is not a bad thing.  Just make sure this safe haven really feels like a safe place -- and not an anxiety place.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Freely allow your child to go to the safe haven, and bring you along if desired, when he is feeling fearful.  Praise your child for taking good care of himself and you.  Let him overhear you telling someone else how responsible he was/is (this one is shamelessly stolen from Faber and Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen &amp;amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use low-wattage night lights liberally.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's okay to acknowledge your own weather fears with your child, but it's best to do so in a neutral tone of voice.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T08:36:02.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21158" CreationDate="2015-07-19T09:11:28.910" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are inherent limitations to the step-parent role -- and by extension, the step-grandparent role.  Step-parents are in a very awkward situation.  Those who are able to navigate those choppy waters the most gracefully usually decline to take a direct disciplinary role.  I would recommend that you give that a try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you can give a step-child or step-grandchild an I-message.  This is probably easiest to accomplish if you avoid attempting it in the heat of the moment.  &quot;Marlene, I felt so startled when the DVD was flying across the room.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know two ways to elicit an apology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;If I'm really irate, and there's no doubt in my mind that the person behaved abominably, with no provocation, and even then, this doesn't usually work as well as #2, below --&lt;/em&gt; &quot;Marlene, I'm not accustomed to being spoken to / treated that way, and I think you owe me an apology.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Marlene, I'd like to apologize for leaving your party so abruptly last month.  I was startled and offended, and didn't think before I acted.  I'm sorry if I overreacted.&quot;  At this point, if the apology was perceived as sincere, Marlene will probably apologize for her part in the blow-up!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-19T09:11:28.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21309" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-20T01:51:56.197" Score="2" ViewCount="1660" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two questions. Firstly is it true that baby should have the deepest sleep in the first half of night? My 4 month old baby used to have a 4-5 hours sleep after I put her to bed from 6:30pm to around 11:00pm. She seems sleeps better before midnight and then wakes up 2/3 times from midnight to morning. But recently she would wake up crying every 5 min before midnight. Most of the time from 10:30pm, last night from 8:30pm. Every time she wakes up me or my habby goes in to bounce her back to sleep. She will fall back to sleep very quickly(she seems to be very sleepy) but wakes up again in just a short time. We try hold her and rock her after she's asleep and that can only get us for up to 10 minutes sleep. (I rock her and hold her for all her naps, she won't sleep on the bed during the day) She will keep waking up and cry. It feels like something bothering her. I thought it might be teething pain or gas pain or too cold or warm. But after midnight she can sleep for three hours in one go. And a bit more peacefully. Is there any particular cause for baby wakes up only first half of the night?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some background information, She's having two night feeds at 12:30 and 3:30am. She has three to four naps a day. The naps are from 50min to 2.5hrs. In total she naps for 4-4.5hrs. Her bed time normally around 6:30pm to 6:30am. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second question is after midnight if she wakes up completly for some reason(I didn't attend to her in time when she wakes up hugry) she won't settle back to sleep for an hour! She will talk to herself or moving around or sucking her feast. If I try bounce her back to sleep she will keep moving and talking. She just won't sleep. If this happens around five it can last for even longer. Is this because she sleeps too much? I tried different bedtime. I found her happily go to bed at 6:30pm. If it's too early or late it takes a lot longer to settle her. Also I found if she wakes up before 6:30 she will look tired and catnapping whole day. I tried to lengthen her waking time during the day(currently around an hour) but she will be shutting and cranky if I don't settle her to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17300" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T02:16:41.023" Title="4 month old waking frequently during first half of the night" Tags="|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21310" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-20T02:22:51.233" Score="1" ViewCount="265" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4-month-old baby. No matter how much I try, I just can't have a &lt;strong&gt;schedule&lt;/strong&gt; for feeding her. She can be not willing to take a feed for 4 hours to asking for feed every hour. I tried to do eat play sleep routine since she's a newborn. It was working for a while. But recent month she always just eats a little after wakes up from naps. Then cries for feed when she's tired and ready to sleep. Or in the middle of her nap! If I refuse to feed her before her nap. I'm not sure if this is caused by me feeding her to sleep at night time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our bedtime routine for her is a walk, massage, bath, feed to sleep. I know this is very bad. This habit came from early days. I find she wants to eat a lot more around 4/5pm so cluster feed her. Now I don't know how to stop. Because she won't eat much after she wakes up from last nap. Also no other ways I can settle her to sleep. I tried bouncing her, rocking her they work during the day for the naps but not for nighttime sleep! I really want to set up a schedule for her feeding and change feed to please help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17300" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-14T13:19:51.713" LastActivityDate="2019-02-14T13:19:51.713" Title="What to do about my 4-month-old's messy feeding schedule?" Tags="|infant|bedtime|feeding|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21312" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-20T06:01:12.523" Score="4" ViewCount="345" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in an inexpensive area (in the US) with a public school that is pretty bad by most measures (it gets low/failing rankings by most measures I can find online).  I have a child who will soon be entering kindergarten, and I'm struggling with the choice of whether to send her to this school, or pay to send her to a private school nearby.  The main reason I currently live where I do is to save money to move to a nicer area in 2-3 years (with a better school), and spending a bunch of money on private schooling will obviously hinder this goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My biggest concern is that she will be surrounded by kids that weren't raised with the same standards of behavior and discipline, and this will have long lasting negative effects on her perception of school.  This is apparent to me when we frequently take her to play at our local park, and she is polite, sweet, and considerate of other kids.  Generally, other kids at the park take advantage of that, and push her around (metaphorically speaking, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was literally pushed around sometimes if a parent wasn't present).  She gets along great on play dates with friends, cousins, etc.  Incidentally, many of her friends will be going to the private school we would like to send her to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking to understand the effects of going to a bad school at a young age (research links?), or maybe just some anecdotes of personal experiences with this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17302" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-17T12:35:01.693" LastActivityDate="2019-07-17T12:35:01.693" Title="Private school vs bad public school for a young child" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|social-development|research|usa|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21314" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21318" CreationDate="2015-07-20T09:55:35.540" Score="38" ViewCount="9485" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3 year old daughter and occasionally take her on a few hours walk in the woods / bush / up a mountain. We both enjoy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't expect her to be able to walk very far or climb up a mountain, so I carry her when she gets tired. The problem is that now she has gotten really used to me carrying her. We walk for about 200 meters max before she says she's tired. After that she will walk only small bits of the way. I end up getting a serious workout and she doesn't get any exercise at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we get to a picnic spot or a play area, she runs around and plays, so I know she isn't really tired, she just prefers to be carried around. I tried explaining to her about the fun of pushing yourself, but I think that was at a way higher level than a 3 year old would follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to force her to walk, because I want her to enjoy it. What can I try to get her to push herself a bit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11634" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T09:57:04.493" Title="How to teach a 3yo to endure during hikes?" Tags="|toddler|family-activities|outdoor|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21314" CreationDate="2015-07-20T11:19:52.037" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great question, we have the same problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we came up so far:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Singing songs, playing games (&quot;I spy with my little eye&quot;) etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Simply telling her that she is too heavy to be carried.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Promise a reward if she manages it without carrying.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T11:19:52.037" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21314" CreationDate="2015-07-20T11:24:46.567" Score="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids, even well after toddler years, tend to enjoy a hike in different ways than adults. We like taking our three out for walks in the woods, and have done so from infancy (some great baby pictures of Daddy carrying daughter in a sling!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One possibility is that shorter outings will improve her outlook. Having small expectations was the hardest transition for us as parents. We can do a five mile hike easily and feel invigorated at the end. Anything more than a mile and my youngest reaches a point where he's &lt;em&gt;totally done&lt;/em&gt; and can't stand the idea of walking another step. We accidentally took a five mile hike as a family (we didn't realize we'd taken a wrong turn until much too late) and it is still brought up by the kids as The Worst Vacation Idea Ever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if she's hitching a ride after only a couple hundred meters, &quot;I'm tired&quot; probably means &quot;I'm bored and want attention.&quot; In that case, a distraction can be very welcome and help her forget the &quot;exhaustion.&quot; The biggest boost to the distance my kids would walk on their own was setting milestones or mini-goals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When we reach that funny shaped tree, I'll carry you for three minutes!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When we get to the next trail sign, it's time for a [trail mix, fruit, granola bar] snack!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you run up ahead and count how many of those little blue flowers are by the tree?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Creating a let's-pretend framework can also help. Maybe you're exploring a new planet, maybe you're hunting for fairies, maybe there is secret treasure along the path (e.g. shiny rocks!) that needs to be collected to fuel the car for the drive home. This is sometimes simpler if there is a sibling or friend along, since they weave their own game of pretend, but it's certainly feasible for an adult to initiate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T11:24:46.567" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21310" CreationDate="2015-07-20T11:52:06.207" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this is not what you want to hear, but why are you trying to put your baby on a schedule? At 4 months old, they're still extremely tiny and even if you manage to &quot;enforce&quot; (for lack of a better word) a schedule her, her needs will change in a matter of weeks, literally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty sure you eat when you're hungry, not when someone tells you to. Your baby knows when she's hungry and I believe it's important to nurture that natural hunger instinct so that she develops into an adult that can listen to her body telling her when she's hungry and when she's full. Also, at that age, babies go through growth spurts every couple of weeks/months, when they have more milk for several days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeding to sleep is not necessarily bad and you can break off that habit later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's incredibly hard and often frustrating taking care for a little baby (this coming from a mother of a 15 month old who still wakes 5-6 times at night) but it will get better with time. However, please take into consideration that your baby is a little person, not a machine, and she needs your full attention at this period in her life. Have someone help you out both with chores and the baby so you can get some alone time and relax.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding settling to sleep, have you tried babywearing? I have a ring sling which helped immensely with settling my child when he was your daughter's age and it was invaluable when he was sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6420" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T11:52:06.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21314" CreationDate="2015-07-20T12:39:56.780" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could it be that those &quot;few hours walk in the woods&quot; exceeded her range (both in physical endurance and attention span) pretty much from the get-go, so you ended up &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; carrying her towards the end of the hike?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I got kids age 12 and 8 who get bored of a &quot;hike&quot; in much less than &quot;a few hours&quot;. They can run around the playground, and do visits to the museum or the zoo for almost a whole day, but a &quot;plain&quot; hike would bore them witless.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your kid never experienced &quot;making it through&quot; a hike, thus making the hike itself something to take satisfaction in, she won't be eager to put significant energy into it, and will ask to be carried as soon as she feels like she's exerting herself -- because, what is the point in walking longer if, in the end, you'll carry her anyway, and she'll still get to look for fairies or explore the playground?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the trick here is to start small, let her achieve &quot;completion&quot; on a regular basis, and then extend things as her endurance, attention span, and willingness to exercise herself increases as she grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing more, I don't think the average three-year-old needs artificial &quot;workout&quot; or &quot;exercise&quot;. Usually their play instinct has them moving around pretty much non-stop anyway, inside or outside the house, and they have a rather fine-tuned feel for when they &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to move, and when they want to rest. IMHO, it's better not to tamper with that too early in their life, but instead heighten their awareness for what their body tells them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plus, physical strain (which we grown-ups would label &quot;exercise&quot;, &quot;training&quot;, or &quot;workout&quot;) can easily be actively harmful to young kids. Their bodies are &lt;em&gt;already&lt;/em&gt; developing rapidly towards greater strength and endurance, at huge stress to their system, without any additional &quot;load&quot; from us adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10080" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T12:39:56.780" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21312" CreationDate="2015-07-20T13:05:25.050" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very country specific, for this answer I wills assume this is in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is really dependent on what metrics you use to define &quot;bad&quot;. We had all of our kids go to public schools which most people in the area would probably refer to as &quot;bad&quot;. Main reasons: lower income and less per-student spend, racially diverse, high percentage of special needs children from troubled environment. The town has probably the cheapest real estate prices in the area and that attracts people with money issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However we found the schools were run primarily by capable and dedicated principles/teachers that were personally invested and actually cared a lot. The racial diversity spawned some interesting programs: there was a pre-school program for kids who's native language was neither English, Spanish or Paortugues (large Brazilian community) which was great for us since we were neither. There also was a Spanish/English immersion program with half the kids being native English and native Spanish speaker and the instruction language alternating every 6 weeks or so. As a result two of my kids are fully tri-lingual. All our kids went on to to reputable colleges including MIT &amp;amp; Babson. So all-in-all it worked great for our kids although it clearly wasn't considered as good as the schools in the surrounding rich and predominantly white bed room communities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there a few must haves: &quot;kid must feel safe&quot;, &quot;school must have a decent set of ethics, tone must be respectful&quot;, &quot;culture needs to be positive and value academics and hard work&quot; &quot;no tolerance for sexual harassment even if it's done by the football team&quot; . Personally I care less about &quot;has a high tech broadcast studio setup&quot; or &quot;has top notch athletic facilities and won the Lacrosse state championship&quot; &quot;has a average SAT score that is 2.56% higher&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously you have your own values. It may be a good idea to write a list of things that are truly important to you and your kids and than evaluate the schools against that list. Only you can decide what exactly a &quot;good&quot; or a &quot;bad&quot; school is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T13:05:25.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21312" CreationDate="2015-07-20T16:15:40.950" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son went to a failing-by-NCLB-standards public school his first year and a few months of his second year.  It went so badly he literally cried for the last hour or two almost every day.  After we pulled him out to homeschool, I did quite a bit of research to determine what went wrong, in an effort not to repeat the problem.  Based on that experience, I believe bad schools are caused by two main factors:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;An inability to adjust the academic pace appropriately for the needs of individual students.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A disproportionate view that student behavior, learning, and motivation problems are outside the school's influence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether these will be issues for your child depends on your child.  If she is generally well-behaved and self-motivated, and academically meets the pace of most of her peers, I think she will do okay in any school.  The farther she is from that ideal median student, the more the quality of her school matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is eight now and loves to learn.  For example, this last week we watched a documentary and a press conference on the New Horizons mission to Pluto, both at a high school level or higher, and he enjoyed both of them.  He doesn't have any noticeable effects from his first year at a bad school.  If you ask him about it, he only has good memories, which to me is astounding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on that, I don't think you're risking much by trying a year in your public school, assuming she's not already having issues like ADHD.  However, I would caution against extending that experiment much longer if it isn't going well.  In studies I've read, by about third grade, kids have formed deep-seated ideas about if they are &quot;good at school&quot; that are long-lasting and difficult to counteract.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T16:15:40.950" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21314" CreationDate="2015-07-20T16:41:32.597" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try an alternative to carrying her the rest of the way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of having her be carried the rest of the way for the hike, start taking short (15 minutes or so) breaks to let her rest for awhile, before continuing on the trail.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will mean that it will take longer for you, and you may have to shorten the full length of the trip, but it will give her time to rest, and give you both some time to bond (which may be what she's looking for anyway when she asks to be carried).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Individual adults have their own preferred pace for hiking, and kids are no different - adjust your hiking plans accordingly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9825" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T16:41:32.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21314" CreationDate="2015-07-20T16:59:45.520" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the same problem with my four year old and was surprised that just letting her pick out a new colorful pair of running sneakers to &quot;go super fast&quot; was all it took to get her going much further without me carrying her.  Maybe I just lucked out, buy you might try making a big deal out of a new shoe purchase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea is grab another kid to go with you.  I have twins, and often they run ahead together too busy to ask for me to carry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or another idea is try having everyone in the hiking group take turns being the &quot;leader&quot;.  You follow your daughter when she is the leader, and maybe take turns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having your daughter pick a hiking spot and having a goal in mind also helps.  Having a physical book (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1937052060&quot;&gt;like this one&lt;/a&gt;) with hiking trails in your area with lots of pictures helps a lot.  She picks a hike, and then is excited to go there and find the spots in the pictures.  It also helps if things have fun names like &quot;Rainbow Lake&quot; or if you use your imagination and say look for the big black fish in the middle of the lake as we hike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful not to push her too hard or else you'll risk making her hate hiking completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17309" LastEditorUserId="17309" LastEditDate="2015-07-20T19:17:55.677" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T19:17:55.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21314" CreationDate="2015-07-20T20:18:04.143" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;At three or four years old we had this same issue with our oldest daughter. She would get used to me carrying her during the hardest parts of the hike, or when she got tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solution was that I would put her back on her feet when we came across trail markings, and she could only ask for me to pick her back up after two more trail markings have passed. &lt;strong&gt;This had the terrific side effect of teaching her to be aware of the trail markings.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T20:18:04.143" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21328" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-20T22:32:26.740" Score="1" ViewCount="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a kid. I have a loose tooth where the part is off but the other part isn't. I can see my new tooth underneath. Should i just suck it up and push with my tongue?&#xA; It's a bottom left molar&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17315" LastActivityDate="2015-07-20T22:32:26.740" Title="Loose tooth. Suck it up and pull?" Tags="|teeth|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-07-21T11:39:46.060" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2015-07-20T22:38:16.133" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to put my daughter to bed at 8 pm. As she was not tired enough to sleep I'd stay with her in the room pretending that I am very tired and ignoring anything she would do. That would be: &quot;I want potty,&quot; ok that's fine; &quot;I want water&quot; ok you can have water; she would sing, ask me lots of questions, talk about anything, change her pyjama, change the end of the bed where she wants to sleep, pinch and scratch me, and eventually I would get upset and leave. That was approx 1-2 h long. Being calm for that time made her more agitated and eventually would start crying and coughing and if she was put back to bed or ignored would make herself sick would vomit all over the bed and cry hysterically until mum would come back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My solution: we skip the entire bedtime drama and she should stay head down on the pillow as I am just outside the door nursing the newborn. It does not work if I am soft and nice as she would still do the entire shouting, crying, vomiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bath before bed done, reading stories done, talking about the past day and the following day done as well, running around and wearing her off done and helps a lot. Honestly I think she can not control herself and she can't help herself being naughty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17316" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T11:54:15.643" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T11:54:15.643" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21332" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-21T08:27:08.630" Score="6" ViewCount="852" Body="&lt;p&gt;We all know that natural consequences is the best tool when dealing with inappropriate behaviour. However, one of natural consequences of doing something bad to another person is feeling guilty for what you have done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My intuition tells me that &lt;strong&gt;guilt cannot be used as discipline tool&lt;/strong&gt;, so my first question is: &lt;strong&gt;am I right?&lt;/strong&gt; I have an impression that using guilt as a form of punishment leads to children having pshychological problems, and even neurosis. But I have never seen proper studies about it, so I would be grateful, if you could recommend me some, if it's really true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second question is more practical. How can I &lt;strong&gt;help a child to overcome the feeling of guilt?&lt;/strong&gt; I don't say the children don't need to feel guilty at all, but there must be a moment when they get over it, and an adult should be there to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: this question might seem a bit too abstract, because I am asking it in advance. My child is only three, so it's still unrelevant to her. But I feel that the answer will be useful for me in future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I am very grateful for the answers explaining the difference between guilt and shame. Don't you think that these feelings are mixed in a child? I am also concerned about sensitive children, those who do not need to be told twice and tend to analyse their behaviour a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also doubt the effectiveness of feeling guilty to prevent repetition of bad behaviour, as it doesn't fade of quickly enough and one can get used to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16753" LastEditorUserId="16753" LastEditDate="2015-07-21T21:02:32.033" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T17:40:50.077" Title="Guilt as a natural consequence of bad/wrong behaviour" Tags="|discipline|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21333" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-21T08:54:03.933" Score="1" ViewCount="2774" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 13 year old boy who is disrespecting both parents and out of control.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is totally self-absorbed (as I know most kids are) and he can't handle any situation. He hasn't has a clue on how to deal with problems and flies off the handle at the least thing if he doesn't get his own way -- there are holes in his bedroom wall from where he kicked them in temper. He is always in trouble in school, disrespecting teachers, disrupting the class, not taking instructions. My husband knows the principal and vice principal very well and his head teacher - he was down to 2 1/2 days in school but summer broke up and we decided it wasn't a good idea for him to sit his first year summer exams. It is a community school and there would be a lot of difficult children from various backgrounds.  My son wants to be liked and is the class clown.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have had him at a psychologist before secondary school started to see if we could all try and get on better. When school started after three weeks he was suspended and we had to go back to the psychologist again; this man is a professional and he can't work him out at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is smoking and also has been caught smoking weed, which he doesn't think is a problem. We have tried to tell him the dangers etc. but he says we don't have a clue and it is grand.  My husband has now given up on him totally and won't bring him to his football training or anything and I am at my wits end as I have to work full-time as I am the main earner and my husband is at home with the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son also has huge issues with his twin sisters who are 2.5 years younger than him.  He is a very bright child and never had to try in school he was very clever and when he went into first year he was put in an A class.  He hates been clever and doesn't want to be seen to be clever.  He won't listen to anyone and trying to discipline him is a nightmare.  We figure he has low-self esteem but trying to deal with this is quite hard and now that I might be doing it on my own and holding down a full-time job to keep paying the mortgage is seriously going to make me ill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do in this sort of situation to help my son behave in school and respect his family? Help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17322" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-21T11:50:08.607" LastActivityDate="2018-05-11T18:38:45.633" Title="My 13 year old is off the rails and dad has given up" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21333" CreationDate="2015-07-21T10:22:16.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember I was somewhat like your son when I was 15 years old. I used to get good grades and all of a sudden I started failing subjects. This continued until I was 23 years old. Then I went back to Uni and completed my graduation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realized in the later years, that I wasn't an inch bit interested in studies. and that's why I failed in all the subjects for years. I felt studying it is all meaningless to me. I only continued to study when I beginning to understand how important it is to have degree to do what I want to do with my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should my parents had asked me what do you want to be in your life when they first realised that I was losing the interest in studies, without doubt my answer would be &quot;I want to do business&quot;. I don't know what business but I just needed my parents to talk to me about my interests and assured me that they will help me with step by step plan to set up a business. I would have done well in school in the excitement that I know what I was going to after my graduation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is my answer, Try if your son is similar situation like mine, perhaps he doesn't know why he is studying, what he is studying. He may want to do something else with his life.  Confirm if he thinks that he it has nothing to do with his formal education. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who do you think he admires most (you or his dad)?, that person should have a heart to heart talk with him.  My attitude towards life changed when my dad spoke out of his heart with me. Workout a step by step plan to help him achieve what he wants to do with his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if he wants to become business man, then work out step by step plan to help him build a business. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16247" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T10:22:16.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21333" CreationDate="2015-07-21T10:53:42.950" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your son has reached an age where it is necessary to change from expecting him to accept being told what to do or how to behave and transition to a model of helping him figure out his own path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also seems like it would be useful to find a way to connect and have some shared issues that can be used as a base to work from. For example, as others have mentioned here, perhaps find a nice way to invite him to help you volunteer at a soup kitchen or something. It should not take a lecture or a parental discussion (so don't provide one) to drive home that he is or will be making choices that impact his own future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also try to connect on issues and look for your son to come up with ideas or suggestions. For example, as a former smart kid, I entirely understand that you don't want to be seen as a smart kid at times. Ask him if he can think of ways to keep his options open (university, career of choice, etc) while not appearing to be doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, when I was younger there was a lot of underage drinking going on. No amount of &quot;don't do that it's stupid&quot; would have deterred me. However, if I had been told of consequences that might happen and regrets that I might end up with and then seen those things come to pass for myself or my friends I believe I would have understood that my parents had been there and done that. It's also possible I might have avoided some issues having been forewarned. But, there would be no point in trying to force me not to try it as I would anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also think you absolutely have to find a way to get your husband on board. Even if it's as simple as having a discussion and saying that he's not sure how to communicate effectively. He can relate how important your son is to him and how he would like to be able to help your son be successful and happy after the tough period of high school is over.  That is not an excuse for the past and how things have been going but simply a statement of concern. He could invite your son to offer ideas on how to improve their relationship if/when they come to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as it sounds like there may be a few bad eggs in the school environment, how about finding a way to take the family outside of the scope of such influence. What about going camping or something? I'm not sure what your son is into, but he's 13 so there have to be things of interest that everyone could do together outside of the scope of school friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While camping, as an example, you don't need to impose a time to get up but you could simply state that &quot;if you are hungry breakfast will be ready soon.&quot;  Many things can probably be structured as optional invitations that leave the choice in his hands and reduce the chance for conflict. If he asks for additional effort or a different choice perhaps say you will do so but he has to help out or pitch in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might even be able to structure some impromptu chores with an incentive. Hey, help us clean up the kitchen/living room and we'll rent a movie and order in a pizza. You may get an opt-out but that just means you need to find a better draw. These things will potentially tie effort to reward and create some shared experiences. Of course, you might have to avoid complaining if the clean up effort is less than perfect -- just look for improvement over time and not perfection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your husband is finding it too difficult to relate perhaps he can be in charge of coming up with task/reward pairs that the family can do. Or, similarly, devising option/incentive activities that encourage the right behaviors. You know, get an A on the science exam (show your interest) and we'll take you to the planetarium -- again, you'll need to have things that are actually of interest so maybe a local sporting event or something. I do suggest that the ideas are agreed to in advance and that you take turns using them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's difficult to really know what is happening with only a few paragraphs of information. However, as you can see, I guess my advice boils down to the fact that current strategies don't seem to be working -- change things up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastEditorUserId="17123" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T00:26:18.627" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T00:26:18.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19018" CreationDate="2015-07-21T12:00:23.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am late, but I will try to tell you what you forgot in your list of perfection. You forgot feelings. You forgot to plan how to teach what love is. How changeble, irrational, even cruel it can be. And that it is the most beautiful and perfect (to use your words) thing in the world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And one of the most important things to teach the child is to teach her how to love the world around her. To teach her how to cry when someone else is upset, when there is war somewhere else going on, hungry people dying, cruelty. To teach her how to be amazed when new life is appearing even if it's just a little seed giving its first leaves. To admire the wonder of life, its inner contraversery that cannot be overcome with any rationalizations, its complexity that multiple times surpasses any human theory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You forgot poetry, music, art, which can be understood only with feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16753" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T12:00:23.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21332" CreationDate="2015-07-21T17:37:21.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what you mean by &quot;using guilt as a form of punishment&quot;.  If you mean that you intentionally make the child feel guilty for something they've done, then I agree that that strategy is likely to cause emotional issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you simply mean that a child misbehaves, and then feels guilty because they know their behaviour was &quot;wrong&quot;, then I think the guilt can be a very effective form of &quot;punishment.&quot;  In fact, in many situations, if you are aware that a child feels guilty for what they have done, further punishment is probably not necessary.  It may be helpful after the fact (&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; in the moment) to discuss the situation, and express to the child why the behaviour was unacceptable, but in most situations, further punishment when the child already feels guilty will only serve to damage their relationship with you, and will not help to reinforce anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We should also make a distinction between &lt;strong&gt;guilt&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;shame&lt;/strong&gt;.  Everyone defines these differently, but one definition I have found very helpful is as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Guilt&lt;/strong&gt; is the feeling that &lt;em&gt;I have done something bad&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;Shame&lt;/strong&gt; is the feeling that &lt;em&gt;I am a bad person&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working with those definitions, I don't think there is any need to &quot;help a child overcome the feeling of guilt.&quot;  If they feel guilty about something they've done, it's probably justified, and will probably be overcome with time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, however, the child is feeling &lt;em&gt;shame&lt;/em&gt; due to their behaviour, intervention on your part is probably required.  They will need to be reassured that they are loved, and that even though they did a bad &lt;em&gt;thing&lt;/em&gt;, they are not a bad &lt;em&gt;person&lt;/em&gt;.  A reminder that you will love them &quot;no matter what&quot; can be very helpful in helping them realize that they are not defined by their behaviour.&#xA;Shame is not something that goes away easily, and will probably require a lot of reassurance on your part, but it can be overcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T17:37:21.303" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21340" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-21T18:46:52.597" Score="9" ViewCount="559" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few month ago, I asked: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19696/can-i-avoid-nice-clothing-being-a-source-of-argument&quot;&gt;Can I avoid nice clothing being a source of argument?&lt;/a&gt; That was mainly focused on my eight year old, and now I have a related question... but about a preschooler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our youngest (three and a half) only wants to wear about five shirts, all t-shirts with dogs on them. Any other t-shirts (e.g. dinosaurs, trains) are rejected as &quot;too fancy&quot;* and are only worn after a lot of arguing or negotiating. An actually &quot;fancy&quot; shirt (with a collar, either polo or button-down) is rejected and leads to incredible tantrums if we try to push the issue; I once suggested he could wear a tie and he nearly exploded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since he's a preschooler, this has not yet been a major problem: we don't go many &quot;fancy&quot; places anyway, and there are different standards for acceptable clothing for young kids in a lot of situations. But, &lt;strong&gt;he's been asked to be the ring bearer&lt;/strong&gt; in my cousin's wedding. If we accept, the event is going to require a suit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I have no idea &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; to get him interested in the idea of dressier clothing.&lt;/strong&gt; We have two months to prepare: what can I try to make him more open to different, &quot;fancy&quot; clothes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;* I feel it's important to note that &lt;em&gt;neither parent&lt;/em&gt; defined these shirts as fancy: it's an adjective that he decides how and when to use, and we have a tough time predicting when it will be an issue. (I would not, on my own, decide that a bicycle t-shirt is fancier than a doggy t-shirt.) I'm also unclear on why fancy is a bad thing, but that's the implication he makes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-05T14:30:31.463" LastActivityDate="2018-11-05T14:30:31.463" Title="How can I persuade a preschooler to wear a suit?" Tags="|pre-schooler|communication|clothes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21332" CreationDate="2015-07-21T19:49:26.180" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to agree with @GentlePurpleRain's shorter and more elegant answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to protect your child from feeling guilt is to avoid teaching him any moral standards, i.e. don't teach him the difference between good and evil, and don't teach him self-reflection or self-evaluation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Guilt is a natural result of going against one's morals. It promotes &lt;em&gt;prosocial behavior&lt;/em&gt; (good for everyone.) Guilt shows a sensitivity to the feelings of others. People behave well to avoid feeling guilt, and feel guilt when they do something that hurts someone, and makes them feel remorseful. It is a &lt;em&gt;moral emotion&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Imagine a person who doesn't feel guilt. One such person can do a lot of harm to a lot of people, depending on how significant their lack of empathy is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Moral standards represent an individual’s knowledge and internalization of moral norms and conventions. People’s moral standards are dictated in part by universal moral laws, and in part by culturally specific proscriptions. ...[T]here is broad social consensus that such behaviors are “wrong” (e.g., interpersonal violence, criminal behavior, lying, cheating, stealing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The morally relevant &quot;negative&quot; emotions are shame, guilt, and embarrassment. Several positive moral emotions are elevation, gratitude, the morally relevant experience of pride, and empathy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As the self reflects upon the self, moral self-conscious emotions provide immediate punishment (or reinforcement) of behavior. In effect, shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride function as an emotional moral barometer... When we “do the right thing,” positive feelings of pride and self-approval are likely to result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we accept that guilt is normal and even good, then why does it get such a bad reputation? Probably because many people use &lt;em&gt;guilt&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;shame&lt;/em&gt; synonymously. One possible difference between them is that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;when describing &lt;em&gt;shame&lt;/em&gt;-inducing situations, respondents expressed more concern with &lt;em&gt;others’ evaluations of the self&lt;/em&gt;. In contrast, when describing &lt;em&gt;guilt&lt;/em&gt; experiences, respondents were more concerned with their &lt;em&gt;effect on others.&lt;/em&gt; This difference in “egocentric” versus “other-oriented” concerns isn’t surprising given that &lt;em&gt;shame involves a focus on the self&lt;/em&gt;, whereas &lt;em&gt;guilt relates to a specific behavior&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shame is considered more painful because one’s &lt;em&gt;core self&lt;/em&gt; is at stake, threatened by feelings of worthlessness, powerlessness, and exposure (whether real of imagined.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Guilt, of the other hand, is less painful because the feeling is focused on a specific behavior, not the self. Rather than needing to defend one’s self, people feeling guilt consider their behavior and its consequences. Guilt is more adaptive and beneficial than shame. Guilt leads to apologies and attempts at restoration. Shame leads to separation and denial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you might want to do is help your child deal with shame, not guilt. But that is a different question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=MHbGQe_xc9sC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PA215-IA1&amp;amp;dq=guilt+and+prosocial+behavior&amp;amp;ots=saPX8QZ464&amp;amp;sig=qKLnSOP3IelU0PqYfuAxxUzlsgU#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=guilt%20and%20prosocial%20behavior&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Guilt and Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://people.hss.caltech.edu/~steve/Tangney.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Moral Emotions and Moral Behavior&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T19:49:26.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21342" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-21T19:49:38.143" Score="7" ViewCount="4914" Body="&lt;p&gt;So my wife and I got our 2 year old daughter her own bed because we moved the crib to new/future baby boys room. We've found that trying to get her to go to sleep is MUCH more difficult than we imagined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, if she's awake and we leave the room because it's &quot;night time&quot;, she starts wailing and chases after us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first thought was to sit in the rocker in her room until she falls asleep. But if she's napped during the day (which is 95% of days), then she could sit there for up to 2 hours without falling asleep. That's obviously not a very fun scenario. Even last night, my wife sat in there for an hour, then got up to sleep and she freaked out and chased after her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our second thought was to lock her in her room. But she again wails and pounds on the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts on how to get control of this attachment/separation anxiety for night time? I really hate locking her in (we have to hold the door handle on the other side), and sitting in her room for that long doesn't seem like a good option to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing we WON'T give in to, is letting her sleep with us. Our bed is off-limits for sleep time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: to the commenter below...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our crib night time routine was very easy. We'd read 2 to 3 books in the rocker. Then she shuts off the lights, turns on humidifier, turns on the sound machine, then we'd snuggle in the rocker for about 5 or 10 minutes. At that time, she'd willingly go to the crib. I'd put her down, say goodnights/I love you's, then walk out of the room. As soon as we'd get out of the room, she'd cry for about 3 to 5 minutes (but obviously couldn't get out of the crib). After that, she's out like a light until 6:00/6:30 in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit 2: sorry forgot to mention, along the lines of locking the door, we tried putting up a gate in the doorway. That backfired as she bulldozed her way straight through the gate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6640" LastEditorUserId="6640" LastEditDate="2015-07-21T19:59:15.467" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T17:28:50.330" Title="Transition 2 year old to big bed" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21342" CreationDate="2015-07-21T20:10:58.147" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off: welcome to having a two year old!  This is something a lot of people go through at around this age, and certainly the crib going away at this point is a lot of the reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different approaches work for different children, and if you look around the &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/sleep&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;sleep&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;sleep&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/bedtime&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;bedtime&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;bedtime&lt;/a&gt; tags, you'll see a lot of different solutions.  The most important thing is to be consistent: once you find something that seems to work for you to some extent, stick with it.  Changing the bedtime routine frequently will be difficult for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you'll find a lot of parents end up doing what we do: stay with them until they fall asleep.  Some kids just need that.  Our oldest (about to turn 4) does; our youngest probably doesn't (but they sleep in the same room, so he gets it for now - though if he is still awake when older brother is asleep, sometimes we'll leave while he's still drowsy).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's taking 2+ hours for her to fall asleep, though, perhaps you're going to bed too early?  Obviously it's possible the parent in the room has some impact on that, but in my experience a tired kid will fall asleep within a half hour or less usually.  We had to move bedtime back an hour or so at about this age, and that's the only thing that worked for us overall: if we try to start bedtime too early, it's a disaster (even if we're in the room!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend trying a few things that might help, if you haven't already: white noise, or non-verbal music, in particular.  If you have it available, a great tool at around this age is an iPod or old iPhone that you don't mind risking damage to, either with built-in speaker or an older one with a small speaker that can attach directly to it.  Giving him some control over music was a great thing for us for a few months - it ended up not working well in the long run, but it helped get through the hardest time.  Kids at that age really crave some control, and letting him shuffle through a bunch of music he liked (we actually used Thomas songs, which are verbal, but that's all we could get him to listen to) let him be less stressed out about bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T20:10:58.147" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21342" CreationDate="2015-07-21T20:14:07.287" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Locking her in is one thing I would &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; try; this is very traumatizing, and will very likely reinforce any separation anxiety and attachment.  I know this from experience (unfortunately), and will not try it again.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter expects you to be there to comfort and reassure her when she is scared, and locking her in her room when she is expressing these fears by running to you is, in effect, withholding this comfort and reassurance - the reason, however justified, makes no difference to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Transitioning to sleeping in her own bed is tough, and if you are not willing to let her continue sleeping with you until she &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to start sleeping in her own bed, then you are going to have to &lt;em&gt;convince&lt;/em&gt; her that she is safe when she is alone in her own room, and this can be a difficult process for the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked/works for us, is to spend a defined amount of time in the room, and it should not be enough time for the child to fall asleep since this will condition her to expect you to wait for her to be asleep and could cause her to expect you to be there when she wakes up.  When the time is up (you can guess at the amount if you can be relatively consistent about it, since a timer would likely be very counter-productive with ringing, buzzing, flashing lights, etc.), leave the room but stay close by.  Quietly respond if she calls you, reassuring her that she is safe, that you will keep her safe, and that it is time to stay in bed and fall asleep.  Return periodically (I tell my son I will check every 5 minutes, though the actual time varies slightly, as he falls asleep faster with fewer check-ins) to check on her and tell her she is safe (if she is awake and responds to your presence).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most nights our son is asleep by the second 5 minute check.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Refining and expanding answer in response to additional info&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son did not even start sleeping on his own until ~3 years old (6-9 months ago).  We co-slept with him for a very long time before moving him to his own bed (in our room), which was just a toddler mattress on the floor.  When we were ready to move him out, we set up his bed and some personal space in the upstairs bedroom (previously dedicated to his older brother), and began making a big deal about it and how great it would be when he got to sleep there.  It didn't take long for him to be interested in it, but getting him to fall asleep and stay in bed has been an on-going challenge, and he still ends up sleeping with us several nights of the week (usually after waking up sometime between 2~4 AM, and coming downstairs, possibly feeling scared since his big brother is away visiting relatives).  He always falls asleep in his bed, though, which is an improvement we hope to build on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Strategies that might help with the chasing after you when you leave would include anything that enables her to feel comfortable alone in her room near/at bedtime, and once the lights go off.  Something we have tried that seemed to work fairly well include quiet, alone time before bed (reading, puzzles, drawing, coloring, putting all the stuffed animals to bed.  Another, is convincing her that you will be &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt; back - get her a sip of water, get her dad/mom to come in and check on her (and get a break for yourself).  Really, anything that will get her to stay in bed even for a moment while you are out will help make strides toward falling asleep on her own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastEditorUserId="17160" LastEditDate="2015-07-21T20:36:29.553" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T20:36:29.553" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21340" CreationDate="2015-07-21T20:18:08.157" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We went to one wedding when our oldest was three, and managed it by:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking about it ahead of time (we didn't have an opportunity for 'practice' runs as the shirt was at Grandma's, but we would've done that if we could)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making a big deal out of the shirt (&quot;Grandma bought this shirt just for you!&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Showing him Daddy dressed up similarly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Showing him the other guys all dressed up similarly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making a game out of it (&quot;Let's see who can get in his fancy shirt first&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Telling him how long he needs to wear it for, and have a change of clothes to swap into right after the ceremony (&quot;You need to wear this for one hour, until [ceremony ending point].  After that we'll have your back-up clothes to change into, which are your most fun clothes ever!&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting a couple of fun pins that he could add to make it still &quot;train&quot; related (that's our guy's fixation) while still looking mostly formal&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And of course, his favorite pair of underwear and socks!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he ultimately agreed, it was after a lot of thinking and talking and calm time, but he did ultimately agree.  Even wore a bow-tie.  I would also suggest &quot;letting&quot; him button up the shirt himself - if he can, mine can but he's always liked wearing hawaiian type shirts so he's had a lot of practice. Anything that gives him control over the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T20:18:08.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21314" CreationDate="2015-07-21T22:15:39.327" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One trick which worked marvels for me was, saying to him: if you are tired, you can run and wait for me under that tree over there, sit down and relax. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was often too tired to walk, but not tired enough to run to a shade under a tree where he can sit and look at me as I was walking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17335" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T22:15:39.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21342" CreationDate="2015-07-21T22:59:10.703" Score="2" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can you use the crib with one side removed? Our crib had one side you can take off, and it really helped with the transition. They still get the familiar crib, while getting used to getting in and out of the bed on their own. (We started with this by 1 year of age, though).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some kids need parents in their room while they fall asleep. (Our youngest at 2 shows no sign of being ready for us to leave, unlike his big brother at that age)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some kids might need some help to fall asleep if they are not really tired. We let our oldest play with a car, or read a book by himself in his bed (NO electronics, though!). Rule was he had to put his head and feet on the bed, and we would check on him: I will be back in 10 min and then you have to have stopped playing. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some kids might like a choice, making the bed 'empowering'. They can now get in and out on their own, can they choose their blanket? their favorite stuffed toy? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some times we had to sit there and ask them to go back to bed again, and again and again... when he went to the door instead of his bed. It took a couple of weeks. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-07-21T22:59:10.703" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21342" CreationDate="2015-07-22T02:48:28.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had this problem with our daughter.  Due to her febrile seizures, a few times during high fevers we had her sleep in our bed so we'd know if she had a seizure.  Before we knew what happened, she would &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt; sleep in our bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took persistence on our part to get her to sleep in her own bed again.  She didn't want to.  (And honestly, who could blame her?  It's natural to want others close by at that age.)  We explained to her that she had to sleep in her own bed.  We ended up going through several stages, successfully getting her to sleep in her own bed.  These stages weren't as sequential as it sounds here.  There was a lot of back and forth.  But it worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We'd let her fall asleep in our bed, and then move her to her bed.  Sometimes she would wake up and come back into our bed.  As soon as she fell asleep, we'd move her again.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One parent went with her in her bed, only until she fell asleep.  That parent then came back to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One parent sat on the floor right next to her bed until she fell asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One parent stayed in the room until she fell asleep.  (Usually me.  I'd bring a book and read.  Just being present was all she needed.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One parent stayed for a few minutes, and then left the room, but leaving the door open, &quot;So we'd hear if she yelled.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were a lot of tears during this process.  It did take some weeks from beginning to end, as she had gotten used to sleeping in our bed.  This took an investment of our time, and there were nights where we didn't get a lot of sleep because she cried for a few hours in the middle of the night, wanting to be in our bed.  But ultimately, it worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17337" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T02:48:28.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21340" CreationDate="2015-07-22T05:41:06.520" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But, he's been asked to be the ring bearer in my cousin's wedding. If we accept, the event is going to require a suit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, it shouldn't be if &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; accept, it should be if &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; accepts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't, then do tell him about the occasion and then do tell him in detail what exactly is he going to do there. Tell him that he can't back out if he says yes once. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he okay with it? Does he even want to go there and do what is expected of him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If yes, only then I would take him to a kid suit showroom, and ask &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; to choose the least fancier suit (let him decide according to his definition of the word fancy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he says &quot;No, all suits are fancy here&quot;, I'd say &quot;We can get you a tailor made suit, and you get to choose the design for the same!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd even say that I'd be willing to put a small dog cartoon on his suit somewhere if he likes it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am saying all this because I remember from my childhood when I was 6 years old, we had to go to a wedding. I was forced to carry a small empty fancy purse with long handle because according to my mother that was an important occasion and I had to look good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never wanted to carry it for the reason being that it is difficult to run and enjoy yourself when something long is constantly dangling from your shoulders and you can't even throw it away because it has been stitched to your dress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7691/why-does-my-mother-expect-me-to-behave-like-others-and-herself&quot;&gt;I had to carry that purse up till the age of 13 years to most of the ceremonies we went.&lt;/a&gt; It was torturous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-12-28T07:38:45.783" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21314" CreationDate="2015-07-22T09:20:33.613" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are looking at the problem as an adult,&#xA;look at this as a three year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;I walk -&amp;gt; &#xA;I don't like it anymore -&amp;gt; &#xA;I ask to get carried -&amp;gt; &#xA;I like that...&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To break the cycle, communicate the way a three year old would.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you are walking have three year old type conversations, about colors and heaven.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't walk, go from one place to another, like a tree or a rock and let the child decide sometimes (especially when the goal is obvious).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No more walking? Then skip, jump, hop, dance or wiggle your way, maybe just stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you carry her, squirm and wiggle... communicate that it's hard for you the way a three year old would understand.&#xA;I would carry her a way that she is not totally confortable, why would she want to walk otherwise?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But most important as you said it:&#xA;she wants to play around, she does not want to be tired... would you blame her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A three year old learns by doing. If it is fun no explanation needed, so show her!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17340" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-22T09:57:04.493" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T09:57:04.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21352" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21353" CreationDate="2015-07-22T09:40:12.047" Score="19" ViewCount="19928" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old daughter can count well (I guess that is relative, but anyway). She understands the idea that numbers represent quantities. If I ask her how many pebbles she has or how many steps there are, etc., she will count out loud and give the right answer. She counts beyond 10, but it gets more fuzzy over 10. She can even do some basic arithmetic. She also gets the symbols right for each number most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that she always skips 7. She goes straight from 6 to 8. I correct her and then she gets it right, but the next time she will skip 7 again. She has been doing that for as long as she could count which is since she was about 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do to change it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11634" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-28T12:06:11.143" LastActivityDate="2019-06-28T12:06:11.143" Title="How to make my 3-year-old stop skipping one of the numbers when counting?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|math|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21352" CreationDate="2015-07-22T10:40:36.010" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a common issue at around that age, both ours had issues with '6' for some reason and skipped from 5 to 7 and the younger one later got stuck with '13' for a short while.  The best thing to do is practice with them and they will get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practicing counting as a song / rhyme (like 1-2 buckle my shoe) is one good way to help them to remember the sequence and has worked for us in the past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something we also did was to look for opportunities to count up to that 'missing' number.  You'll soon start seeing 7's everywhere!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T10:40:36.010" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21354" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21362" CreationDate="2015-07-22T14:09:38.093" Score="2" ViewCount="230" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today I dropped my little 4yr old girl at school and she just didn't want to eat because from what she says, she &quot;stuffed her face with popcorn&quot; when I wasn't looking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem: All of her friends and her teacher were all sitting at the table enjoying breakfast and I asked her to sit down. &quot;I'm not hungry and want to go to the carpet&quot;. I told her, no one is there yet, just sit with your friends and you can go when it's time. She completely shuts down, which is her way of giving me a hard time. I take her out into the hallway and ask &quot;am i not your dad?&quot; she says &quot;yes&quot;, then I ask &quot;you don't listen to your dad anymore&quot;. More shutdown time for me. I tell her &quot;then no surprises (treat/toy randomly given once in a blue moon) when you get out of school&quot;. She responds with a whiny &quot;yes (like come on man)&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I take her into the class band shuts down, with head in her lap and young teacher looked at her asking if she was okay with a look in her face as if she thought i took her outside, did some abusive crap and sucked out her little soul. I had to go to work so I had to leave her like that, because I just did not know what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that when she's at school, I'm a powerless nobody, that will not do anything at school. I am very passive when with her at school, because I don't want to embarrass her at school and don't want come of as a complete jerk, which I can tell one of her teachers already thinks I am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do I do. Trying to be a good dad...smart kid.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17344" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T16:45:13.000" Title="How do discipline my kid at preschool?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21354" CreationDate="2015-07-22T14:47:49.240" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to let the preschool teachers handle the issue. Their house, their rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't listen to them, then of course it is a different issue. But I found out, that my daughter is usually accepting the teachers words easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe in the evening recapitulate the issue again and exchange how you both felt in this situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T14:47:49.240" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14782" CreationDate="2015-07-22T15:01:13.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, with proper love and support, I'd suggest that children are very good at dealing with change -- though of course they may prefer not to have to deal with such change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point whether or not to divorce may be a choice but in an unhappy marriage things have a way of changing such that one party or the other will eventually force the divorce because they want out or in fact have found someone else that they want to be with and need the divorce to allow that. I'd suggest do the split up while it is easy for both of you to be amicable about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, once split, you may want to negotiate a period of delay before either of you introduce someone new to your children. Try to let them get past their concerns about the last challenge before throwing more at them. Basically, make their transition(s) as easy as possible. Keep in mind, a very large percentage of families go through this and there is not much stigma associated with it anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give is make sure that the divorce, assuming it happens, is done in the most amicable way possible. For example, my own divorce consisted of a handwritten agreement between the two of us and cost us the court filing fees as we went there together and filled out the necessary paperwork. We discussed and agreed reasonably on everything possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the children it's important to know, and be told from time to time, that both of the parents are going to continue to be around and that both parents will continue to love them very much. It's also vital that they don't imagine they had anything to do with it -- sometimes kids will imagine that they somehow caused something. So, they have to be told this explicitly as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned by @sbi, you must do your best never to talk badly about your ex or any family that the ex later becomes involved in. Children will pass this back and forth, even without meaning to, and even if they did somehow manage not to they may well feel conflicted due of their love and loyalty to both parents. However, it is certainly okay to let them know that no matter what happens that you will always be their father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter, the younger of my two children, would tell me that she wished we could still all be in one house or in the old house. It broke my heart. While I could agree that it would have been nice if things had worked out that way it wasn't possible. After a while I told her that it makes me sad to think about that -- so while she can feel that way I'd prefer if she didn't tell me so very often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some additional things to consider, many of which depend on age, are how close the two you may need to live in order to preserve daycare, schools or other attributes for the children. This may not be permanent but if you can minimize impact in other areas (such as new school, having to make new friends, going to a new day care, etc) it will help the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a practical sense, you'll also have to teach the children to understand that different houses will have different rules. My ex and I keep very different schedules and we are very different with respect to the importance of timeliness. Surely a challenge as bed time and waking times change upon going from one home to another, but personally, I consider their ability to be flexible and adjust to different settings to be a valuable life skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also have to deal with your employer a bit. If your employer wants to be family friendly they will have to accept at least a variable schedule upon some type of shared custody. For example, in a week by week custody switch you can work tons of hours one week but lighter hours the next. Travel, if necessary, would hopefully be on weeks you don't have the children. I hope your employer will be understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure of the age of your children but I've answered in terms of the age of my own children through these events. As an important consideration, I'd suggest that both parents being happier (whether single or in new relationships) provides a much healthier example of how to live your life than demonstrating that life is about being unhappy until the children leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, a final note, work through your finances carefully. Having to maintain two households is more expensive than a common home. Whoever may end up paying child support will feel the pinch. Daycare and babysitting costs are likely to go up. You may find that more food spoils as you need to buy items for them before arrival that may not all be consumed while they are there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While finding it financially challenging to split up may not be a reason to stay together you will both need to be realistic about what lifestyle you will have if you do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T15:01:13.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21352" CreationDate="2015-07-22T15:04:23.933" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about it too much. Certainly don't make your child feel bad/stressed about it.  As James said, &quot;look for opportunities to count up to that 'missing' number&quot;.  Here's something I've tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play a game where the tickle monster will be hiding/waiting until it hears a number.  The exchange goes like this (say the troublesome number is 12):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: Uh-oh! I think there's a tickle monster. He's hiding until you count to 5.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child: 1, 2, 3, 4, ..... 5!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tickle tickle tickle!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me: OK, now he's hiding until 9!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Child: 6, 7, 8, (around 8 I start to make a &quot;tickle monster&quot; face) ... 9!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tickle tickle tickle!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just choose random numbers, and don't choose the troublesome number every time. Only do it if it's fun, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="676" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T15:04:23.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21352" CreationDate="2015-07-22T15:36:08.237" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a child psychologist, but I've also observed this as common behavior, and my intuition is that it comes from learning the numbers as a sequence, not as having actual intrinsic meaning. I've been trying to get my kids to remember the sequence of stops on the subway line we live on for years, and there's a couple they almost always skip — mostly because we rarely stop there. (The one with the ice cream shop, they remember....)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, first, I agree with the others that it's nothing to worry about. And, second, I'd concentrate on developing &lt;em&gt;number sense&lt;/em&gt; — the intuitive knowledge of the real-world meaning of the terms. Don't just count, count actual things. Work on basic addition and subtraction problems (crucially, using counting to get from one to the other, rather than memorizing as &quot;math facts&quot;). That's advanced for a three-year old, so don't expect her to become a wiz at arithmetic  instantly, but make a game of it. There are plenty of opportunities in a three-year-old's world for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/three/mathematics.html&quot;&gt;child development tracker site run by PBS&lt;/a&gt; has this note on three-year-olds and counting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;While some children are still learning how to verbally count by ones in the correct order up to &quot;three,&quot; the average child can count up to &quot;five.&quot; Some three-year-olds will also be able to verbally count by ones up to &quot;ten,&quot; and possibly beyond, but not necessarily in the correct order. A very few children will be able to use the &quot;teen&quot; counting pattern to count up to &quot;twenty.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/four/mathematics.html&quot;&gt;for age four&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;While some children at the beginning of this year are still learning how to verbally count by ones in the correct order up to &quot;five,&quot; the average child can count up to &quot;ten,&quot; and possibly beyond, but not necessarily in the correct order. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I'd definitely relax — but I do definitely recommend keeping at real-world math games as the opportunity presents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="178" LastEditorUserId="178" LastEditDate="2015-07-22T19:31:28.863" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T19:31:28.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21359" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-22T16:19:54.943" Score="-1" ViewCount="82" Body="&lt;p&gt;Child is 2 years and 1 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, I will not close her nose to make her open her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the other non torturous ways to give bitter medicine to the child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-07-22T17:42:31.027" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T18:46:29.397" Title="What is the way to give bitter medicine to a 2 year old child?" Tags="|toddler|medicine|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-07-22T19:05:48.373" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21360" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21367" CreationDate="2015-07-22T16:32:46.130" Score="9" ViewCount="1199" Body="&lt;p&gt;I volunteer with children regularly, usually very young preschool or toddler age.  One of the common issues I have noticed is that handling disobeying children can become complicated when your the authority figure trusted with the child, but in a volunteer format where exact expectations from parents are unclear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I once was a teacher aid for sunday school class for preschool age children, and I was the one responsible for handling distractions and problematic children so the teacher could focus on her lesson.  These kids were so young, with no experience with this sort of format, and so we had a decent number of issues with kids just not knowing what the rules were they were suppose to follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time simple corrections would be all it took, maybe taking away a toy.  However, what happens if a child refuses to give me a toy, or if I tell two fighting kids to sit in opposite corners to separate them and one refuses to do so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a kid in my family I would physically take the toy, or carry them to where they need to be.  However, I don't know what the parents' opinion will be of my using physical force to control their children.  I'm already a male , which sadly means I have to watch my every action due to idiotic prejudice about men working with kids, so I'm afraid of any risk of being seen overstepping my boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One child I remember fondly was not a bad kid, but was hyperactive (ADHD), had a desperate desire for attention, even if negative, and did not yet understand why his acting out in class was a problem.  He was a real nightmare of distraction, running away just so someone would have to chase him because he thought it was fun, doing stuff to force me to give him attention to make him stop etc. He could easily single handled prevent any lesson from being taught if left unchecked. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately I managed to work out a policy of giving lots of positive attention whenever possible, and making 'discipline' from acting out as boring as possible for him; it worked pretty well actually, and his mother told us she was very pleased with the progress he made with us, to the point she felt ready to put him into school a year earlier.  However, part of handling him meant (very short) time outs for misbehaving where I would have to sit beside him (while pointedly giving no interesting attention to him) to stop him when he inevitably tried to get up and run away from the char (which happened multiple times per time-out originally).  The first time we used this timeout policy I had to physically stop him probably a dozen times in just a few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had the mother's defacto permission in this case; however, I don't know how I would have handled this child if I didn't have explicit permission to physically restrain him if needed.  I could see some overbearing parents being quite displeased with the same course of action I used with this child if I hadn't gotten express permission.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is how do you handle these situations as a defacto-authority figure?  How do you know where the limit of the authority afforded to you by the parents are, and when they would consider it crossed.  And what methods do I have to deal with infractions, including fighting between children, which really can't be ignored, if the child won't cooperate with me and I don't know what authority I have?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13387" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T02:38:31.640" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T02:38:31.640" Title="How to handle disobediant children as non-parental authority figure" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21354" CreationDate="2015-07-22T16:45:13.000" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, I agree with arved to some extent: once in preschool, let the preschool teachers handle things - if they're willing to.  The dropoff exchange is a tricky thing though, and sometimes the teachers will prefer you to make sure she is (somewhere/doing something specific) when you drop off.  Most I've met are happy to help manage it, though; but &lt;em&gt;talk to them&lt;/em&gt; and find out what their expectations are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, some specific pointers about how you handled this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I told her, no one is there yet, just sit with your friends and you can go when it's time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a good start.  Think about this from her point of view: you're asking her to do something she apparently doesn't want to.  Explaining why she should do that - or gaining her buy-in - is important to getting her to do it.  The reason is almost exactly what you said above: because that's what everyone else is doing (and what they're expected to do).  I would expand on this, and particularly if she's smart, she may well be able to understand why she should do it.  My almost-four year old can.  He doesn't always want to, but he can understand, and will listen usually when he does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She completely shuts down, which is her way of giving me a hard time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter almost certainly does not want to &quot;give you a hard time&quot;.  What she does want, though, is to gain some control over the situation, and to express her feelings.  Do you object when she &quot;talks back&quot;?  She likely doesn't feel like she has a way to express herself and have some control over the situation, so she shuts up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I take her out into the hallway and ask &quot;am i not your dad?&quot; she says &quot;yes&quot;, then I ask &quot;you don't listen to your dad anymore&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not entirely sure where you're going with this.  The latter - &quot;you don't listen anymore&quot; - seems counterproductive, and undoubtedly is an exaggeration.  (My almost four year old, yesterday: &quot;You never take me to ice cream anymore&quot;.)  She's four years old, so for sure she's not going to listen to you as much as when she was one or two: she has a brain, and wants, needs, desires, and is learning how to satisfy those on her own rather than through you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One good rule in parenting: it's fine to express frustration to your children, but do it in the right way. Be specific, be timely.  Your child isn't of an age to have a concept of &quot;across time&quot;. Tell her about &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; frustration, not all of your frustrations - tell your wife or your friends about those.  For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;It makes me frustrated when you didn't listen when I ask you to sit down at the table. I want to drop you off and follow the instructions your teachers gave me, and then be able to go to work on time, so when you won't do what we've been asked to do and make dropoff take a lot longer, I'm late to work. That makes me sad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then include something actionable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;    &lt;p&gt;Please follow your teachers' instructions and sit at the table with the other kids.  It's okay if you're not hungry, but your teachers need you to sit with the other kids so they can watch everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I tell her &quot;then no surprises (treat/toy randomly given once in a blue moon) when you get out of school&quot;. She responds with a whiny &quot;yes (like come on man)&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's not old enough yet for a promise of something later to have a huge affect on what she does now.  Add in the randomly once in a blue moon part, and you don't have nearly enough of a tie between cause and effect for this to have any value.  People behave well when rewards have a clear, direct tie to actions - no randomness, every time gives the reward, and close in time (reward given within a few minutes or less of the action).  If you give, or don't give, her the reward later on, since it's random she won't know why she didn't receive it - did she behave well, and just randomly didn't &quot;win&quot; today, or did she behave badly?  And since it's hours later, she won't remember it anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can work in this regard is a regular minor reward based on whole-day performance that is coordinated with the teachers.  &quot;Every day, if you get a clean sheet, we can go get a fruit after preschool.&quot;  The teachers keep track of her behavior, and if it's clean, she gets the fruit - and is reminded through the day of the reward.  But all of this is needed - not just one thing early in the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you've got is a &quot;strong-willed child&quot;. I put that in &quot;quotes&quot; because it's a bit of a misnomer - most things that are recommended with strong-willed children are good for all children, and all children have elements of strong-willed children in them.  Look up some parenting books on the subject, and find one that works for you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They've got a few things in common:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't shut your child's expression of opinions and emotions down. Encourage &lt;em&gt;appropriate&lt;/em&gt; expressions, and teach her how to do so.  &quot;Talking back&quot; is one of those things particularly old-school parents fight, but it's not a bad thing as long as it's done in the right way.  My son &quot;talks back&quot; all the time, but he does it usually in the right way, and so we get to a better result than if he hadn't talked back.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find as many ways as possible for your child to have control over her life.  Nobody likes other people controlling their every move.  Often &quot;strong willed&quot; expressions are simply children wanting control over their life.  Find ways to make that happen that don't inconvenience you too much - and keep finding new ones.  If she expresses an opinion over something you can reasonably grant, grant it.  Have days where you go out and let her pick what you do - and let her make all of the choices that day.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those two things are pretty much universal in dealing with children like your daughter.  Aggressive, controlling parenting styles usually don't work nearly as well.  Cooperative styles tend to work much better - and yield better outcomes.  Even if your general style is more towards authoritarian, you can find ways to mesh that with a child like this: hard limits which are clear and consistent, and explain &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;. If she knows where the boundaries are, and knows why, she'll cooperate more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go over to Amazon or your preferred book retailer, search &quot;Strong willed children&quot;, and look at the selection - find one or two that appeal to you.  I won't list them here (because that would be another post the length of this already too long post), but there are plenty of useful ones - if not for following their exact rules, for helping you think about your approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T16:45:13.000" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18599" CreationDate="2015-07-22T17:26:26.437" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Poppins_(film)&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mary Poppins&lt;/a&gt; has some good advice for this scenario:  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLkp_Dx6VdI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While sugar itself might not be the best option, try mixing the medicine into something sweet.  It probably won't entirely disguise the taste, but it should at least mask the taste enough that the experience isn't too traumatic for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chocolate pudding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Applesauce&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A spoonful of honey&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fruit-flavoured yogurt&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, &lt;strong&gt;always check with your doctor or pharmacist&lt;/strong&gt; to be sure that mixing the medicine won't reduce its effectiveness or cause any ill effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-22T17:45:21.983" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T17:45:21.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21332" CreationDate="2015-07-22T17:40:50.077" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Guilt cannot be a natural consequence.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Guilt is a negative feeling resulting from knowledge that one has done something wrong. The knowledge of right and wrong is taught by parents, other authority figures, and society. Until this standard is learned, there is no capacity for guilt. Thus, guilt is a learned consequence, not a natural one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Guilt cannot be used as a discipline tool.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is because, as other answers have alluded to, one cannot &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; another feel guilty. One &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; make another feel ashamed, but guilt is self-imposed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the last part of your question, a good way to deal with feelings of guilt and/or shame is to redirect the experience to a constructive behavioral lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What did we learn?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;That doing &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; is wrong.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;How do we resolve the situation?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Undo &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt;&quot; or &quot;apologize for &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;How do we apply what we learned?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Instead of doing &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt;, do &lt;em&gt;y&lt;/em&gt;.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17352" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T17:40:50.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21360" CreationDate="2015-07-22T17:48:18.693" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;When you are working/volunteering with children, there ought to be specific policies laid out regarding what types of discipline/correction are appropriate and what types are not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your church (or other organization) doesn't have a policy like this, perhaps it's time to approach the appropriate people about developing one.  Such a policy is important both to protect the children from inappropriate behaviour on the part of adults, and to protect the adults from allegations of inappropriate behaviour on the part of the children/parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a policy is in place, I would assume that any parents leaving their children with you have read and agreed with the policy, so all you need to do is behave according to the policy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;That being said, I assume that you don't currently have such a policy in place&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, or you wouldn't be asking the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to know how to behave, because there is the occasional parent that has unreasonable expectations of caregivers. (I imagine most reasonable parents would not have a problem with you physically moving a child or restraining them, as long as it was done gently and non-violently.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably the best policy is to try to be as non-physical as possible with the children.  If it becomes evident that physical intervention will be necessary to maintain order, then I suggest talking with the parents of that child about it (as it seems you did with one child already).  Tell them what is going on, and ask for their permission to physically restrain the child when necessary.  Try to phrase it as benignly as possible:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Johnny has trouble staying in his seat during the lesson.  If he refuses to sit in his seat, are you OK with me helping him back to his seat, or helping him to stay in his seat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Pick the language that you find most appropriate.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the parents aren't on board, I think it's fair to request that they either attend the class with the child to help keep his behaviour in check, or else remove the child from the class.  Explain that his behaviour is disrupting the other students, and it's not fair to the rest of the class that they can't learn because of one student's disruptive behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T17:48:18.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18599" CreationDate="2015-07-22T18:08:32.470" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One method I would suggest is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikihow.com/Dull-Your-Taste-Buds&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;dulling the child's sense of taste&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few methods you can take to try and do this. From personal experience, these efficacy of each method tends to vary based on the exact nature of the foul substance to be ingested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have them suck on a sugar-free candy in advance of taking the medicine. The artificial sweeteners in sugar-free candy have an effect of telling the brain that something sweet, like sugar, is being consumed, and this effect &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; persist for a short time after consumption. Also, the candy itself may coat the mouth as it dissolves, acting as a sort of protective barrier against the incoming medicine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have them pinch their nose while taking the medicine. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brainfacts.org/sensing-thinking-behaving/senses-and-perception/articles/2012/taste-and-smell/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Taste and smell&lt;/a&gt; are closely-linked senses, and dulling your sense of smell may dull your sense of taste. However, my anecdotal experience is that pinching the nose allows only the strongest flavors to come through, and foul-tasting medicine would qualify as strong.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drink or eat something sweet that coats the mouth and the tongue, such as chocolate milk or honey. Like the candy, this may coat the mouth and tongue with a protective barrier that prevents the medicine from interacting with the tongue's taste receptors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For candies or sweet things, I would also suggest trying some very strong mints, if your child likes them (mine loves them). The mint smell can overpower your scent receptors, and the flavor may do the same for your tongue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A word of advice: &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt; give the medicine if the child has recently brushed their teeth. &lt;a href=&quot;http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/perception/orange-juice-toothpaste1.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Science suggests&lt;/a&gt; a chemical in toothpaste (and a variety of other products), called Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS) dulls the &lt;em&gt;sweet&lt;/em&gt; receptors of your tongue, which is why it makes orange juice taste bitter. This would make the medicine taste even worse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, be careful about long-term use of foods to mask foul tastes. &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taste_aversion&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Taste aversion&lt;/a&gt; is the strongest form of conditioning, and associating certain foods with the medicine may cause conditioning. For instance, my wife used to have to take certain medicines my crushing them and mixing them with pudding or apple sauce. For several &lt;em&gt;years&lt;/em&gt; afterwards she could not eat chocolate pudding, even if she wanted to, because of taste aversion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T18:08:32.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18599" CreationDate="2015-07-22T20:07:03.823" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2.5-years-old, but has had to take allergy medication for quite some time. While most of the medicines have some sort of sweetness added to them, they're still not a pleasant experience. Although, he's had various other prescriptions (antibiotics) that aren't as pleasant as the allergy medicines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My solution may not work for you, as my son has to take medication &lt;em&gt;daily&lt;/em&gt;, and not just for a short-term prescription.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use a medicinal syringe, and not a spoon. If one isn't provided, many pharmacies will provide them at no-cost. They can also provide toppers for the medicine bottle, so that you can use the syringe easily.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bribe them with a treat. &quot;If you take this medicine, you can have some candy.&quot; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.foodandnutritionresearch.net/index.php/fnr/article/view/5794&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Candy is okay to give to children&lt;/a&gt; in moderation. It can help them maintain their blood sugar, and children's bodies are &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2011/09/26/140753048/kids-sugar-cravings-might-be-biological&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;hard-wired to react positively to sources of sugar&lt;/a&gt;, and it may help their bones grow. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell them that if they take the medicine nicely, they can have &lt;em&gt;extra&lt;/em&gt; candy. &quot;If you take it without finding, you can have &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt; pieces!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be determined to make the child take the medicine. You don't have to hold the child's nose to make them open their mouth. By using the medicinal syringe, you can push the tip of the syringe between their lips. I find that the corners of the mouth work best. Then, you can push the the liquid in, even if their mouth isn't open. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;It is not torture to give your child medicine that they need, even if you have to hold them down.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; Your child is simply not old enough to understand that the medicine is better for them in the long run. They only know that in the immediate now, it tastes unpleasant. One of the few ways young children have to communicate with adults is by crying, screaming, throwing tantrums, etc. It doesn't necessarily mean they're actually in pain or being traumatized, it just means that they're escalating through their available methods of communication.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Even if you &lt;em&gt;made&lt;/em&gt; the child take the medicine, by forcing the syringe in, give them the candy you promised.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, the reward of candy will be associated with taking the medicine. For us, it did not take very long.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems very straight forward, but we also made additional choices to smooth the process along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give control to your child.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;For my son, we gave him a variety of candies to choose from (I think we had left overs from some holidays. We don't normally by candy.) If we let him choose which candy he wanted &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; he took the medicine, he was more willing to take the medicine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can let the child pick out their &quot;medicine candy&quot; from the store. Have them pick a bag of something you're okay with, and emphasize that it's &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; candy for after they take their medicine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also gradually allowed him to take the medicine himself. He has always been very independent, and so it was easy for use to start allowing him to take the syringe and push the plunger in himself. He did make a mess a small number of times, usually by pushing it in too fast, but he learned to control that quickly, as well. You can prevent some messes by splitting up the dose, so your child doesn't have so much to &quot;spill&quot; at once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The candy doesn't have to be big, or even candy! My son really likes jelly beans (we had the Starburst kind from Easter). We'd give him two of those tiny jelly beans and he'd be thrilled. Additionally, sometimes we'd give him his vitamins! He takes chewable gummy vitamins that are essentially candy for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we almost never have to administer medicine to my son. We just had him the syringe and he's fine with it. We also don't give him candy every time, since he's so compliant. If he asks, we'll usually oblige, but he often forgets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The occasions when we &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; have to force him to take the medicine are when he's really sick. He's feeling unwell, and is generally uncooperative (I don't blame him). But, when's he's on antibiotics it's important that he doesn't miss a dose, and that it's taken on time. For instance, &lt;a href=&quot;http://weeklyhealthtip.blogspot.com/2013/03/why-should-i-finish-my-antibiotics-when.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;failure to take antibiotics correctly&lt;/a&gt; as prescribed can have negative outcomes in the long term, and possibly result in recurring infections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all young children are familiar with candy. It may be a poor incentive if your child doesn't know how good it makes them feel. So, before using it as an incentive you may have to give them a taste for it at a time when medicine isn't involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T20:07:03.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7745" CreationDate="2015-07-22T20:14:27.830" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends if the child watches or is interested in TV first of all . And if the child will stay still and quite and not get bored after five mins. Try short movies at home first and see if your child is interested ,try also to see what kind of movie your child likes and go for similar ones at the cinema . Every child is different so observe your child and you will know when he or she is ready !&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17355" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T20:14:27.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21372" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-22T20:37:43.000" Score="1" ViewCount="4290" Body="&lt;p&gt;Im planning a trip from vermont to New York,  its about a 4 and a half hour trip and my babygirl is 1 month old. Im just worried she will get overwhelmed at being in the carseat so long, of course I will stop whenever necessary,  I breastfeed and dont use bottles yet. Im also worried she will get sick, or her body will be in pain or cramp from the same position so long. Is this a safe trip and what other things should I do to ensure she will be okay?? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17356" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T21:18:54.460" Title="is a long car ride safe for my newborn?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-07-23T16:57:58.010" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21372" CreationDate="2015-07-22T21:18:54.460" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In some respects it's not great for them, but at that age they sleep a lot and can't turn over so the length of journey isn't per-se a problem though regular long journeys can present some risk factors...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stackexchange question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14193/how-long-should-my-newborn-baby-be-in-a-car-seat&quot;&gt;How long should my newborn baby be in a car seat&lt;/a&gt; covers the main areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since that question was answered and accepted there has been a correlation with long journeys and increases in cases of flat head syndrome (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_plagiocephaly-flat-head-syndrome_1187981.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Plagiocephaly&lt;/a&gt;) and new advice relating to reducing the risk of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dbh.nhs.uk/Car_seat_awareness.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;cot death in car seats&lt;/a&gt; especially where the car seat doubles as a buggy/stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T21:18:54.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21374" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-22T22:04:03.107" Score="2" ViewCount="275" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can my 4 year old son tell if I am pregnant, and if so how far along do I have to be in order for him to tell? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should be about two weeks along. A couple of my co workers says I am, that they can tell just by looking at me. One said she noticed first thing this morning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17357" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-07-22T22:17:37.390" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T10:19:32.937" Title="Maybe pregnant?" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-07-23T14:49:34.237" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21374" CreationDate="2015-07-22T22:16:54.087" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say you are experiencing the very common experience of &lt;strong&gt;confirmation bias&lt;/strong&gt;.  While every woman is different, most start showing no earlier than &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-pregnancy-start-to-show_10366573.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;12 weeks&lt;/a&gt;. That's because the uterus hasn't moved above the pubic bone until that point - so it's hidden behind a nice, thick bone which isn't going to suddenly pop out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other signs of course can indicate pregnancy, but so early on it's unlikely anyone can tell (maybe a dog?).  Even home pregnancy tests can't tell that early.  (I assume &quot;2 weeks along&quot; really means 4 weeks as a doctor would call it - around the date of your next period - as most conceptions occur around 2 weeks after the prior period, and your &quot;weeks&quot; count starting from the prior period).  As such, I doubt your co-workers can really tell you're pregnant; unless you started acting differently (say, started wearing baggy A-line dresses all of a sudden), odds are they think you look pregnant because they know you are pregnant (or, because they know you are trying).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your four year old will probably be able to tell you're acting a bit different, particularly as your hormonal changes start to hit and you change your eating and sleeping patterns, as well as if your moods change (which often, but not always, happens, often in multiple different ways).  This latter is likely the best reason to tell him: if you find yourself more irritable, for example, it would be very helpful to tell him why, so he doesn't think it's his fault.  But I don't think he'll know what it means even as you start to get your bump; he probably doesn't have much experience with pregnant women, after all, so he won't know what it means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, you probably don't have to tell him particularly early on.  I wouldn't wait until the due date, of course; he'll need a few months to get used to the idea of having a little [brother/sister].  In our case we told our two year old pretty early - around 20 weeks, if I remember right - and that seemed to work pretty well, but 2 is very different from 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T22:16:54.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21376" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21380" CreationDate="2015-07-22T23:02:17.927" Score="3" ViewCount="621" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two weeks old daughter needs a passport and, for this, we need a picture of her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we struggle to get a good angle of her for our own, private pictures, it seems to be even more complicated to get her show a steady face, with open eyes and without our arms being visible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any tricks to accomplish such [titanic] task?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have gone through articles like &lt;a href=&quot;http://digital-photography-school.com/photographing-babies/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;10 Tips for Photographing Babies&lt;/a&gt; and I specially like the hint of &quot;keep shooting&quot;, but I wonder if something more practical can be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T09:36:58.403" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T09:36:58.403" Title="How to take passport pictures of a baby?" Tags="|behavior|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21376" CreationDate="2015-07-22T23:07:41.430" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two weeks old should be a pretty easy age for that, as she's not going to squirm around too much. Put her on a light coloured sheet on a bed, and take the photo from above. Just make sure you get a direct front shot with no significant shadows, both eyes open, and both ears visible and you should be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9114" LastActivityDate="2015-07-22T23:07:41.430" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8375" CreationDate="2015-07-23T01:57:19.053" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a good opportunity to drill into her that &quot;all people have their own strengths and weaknesses&quot;.  If/when you hire people to do services, or take the car to the shop, or go to the vet's or doctor's take the opportunity to explain what those people do, and that they're better than you at those particular things.  &quot;And you will have strengths too, but we'll have to find them as you grow up.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ran into similar trouble with fixing broken toys.  I'm handy with wood glue and superglue, but not so much with soldering irons.  So for a long time I could fix whatever got broken (more or less), to the extent that the kids got pretty careless with their things.  &quot;Meh, daddy'll fix it.&quot;  But inevitably we got to some toys with broken wires and non-glueable breakages.  It was a good opportunity to re-emphasize the importance of being careful with things and not letting them get broken SO MUCH.  But it was hard to see them realize that no, Daddy really &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; fix everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But maybe it won't be long before they fix something themselves, or they beat you at a board game, or they do something else you can't.  Seeing the realization in them and the boost to their self-esteem that they can be &lt;em&gt;better&lt;/em&gt; than you at that one thing is really worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2849" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T01:57:19.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21376" CreationDate="2015-07-23T05:00:51.223" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, even the authorities know that taking passport pictures according to that &quot;standard&quot; isn't always feasible and usually will accept your best attempt even if the head is not perfectly straight etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had good results when keeping the following things in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Timing and Preparation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Pick a time when your baby is happy, awake and alert, not hungry, has a fresh diaper etc. You will have about ten, in some cases twenty minutes tops to get the shot, so make sure your equipment is ready. There is a reason that most of these super-cute newborn baby pictures on the Internet show &lt;em&gt;sleeping&lt;/em&gt; babies... &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Location and Lighting&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Most photographers are used to their models sitting upright. Taking pictures of a baby laying on his back can be confusing and also difficult if you block the light from the ceiling lamp (assuming no professional light setup). Yet a 2-week-old obviously can't sit alone, you need someone to hold the baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One option is to sit either on the floor or a sofa and to put your feet about a foot from your rear, forming a &quot;ramp&quot; with your thighs. Place the baby on your thighs, bottom at your crotch, nesting the head in the slight groove between your thighs. This is actually a good position if you need to take the pictures without help - coo and tickle your baby, keeping it happy, snap a few shots, repeat. If you are really good (like, experienced selfie-shooter) you may even be able to hold the camera next to your head and shoot and play at the same time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Another option is to hold him with his back towards your stomach, one arm under this bottom,the other holding him across the chest, facing the camera. This has the big advantage that you can easily manouever baby towards the light source and generally make snaping the pictures easier for the photographer. Can't really be done alone, obviously.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And of course you can shoot her on her back, but this means &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; will have to bend over or even get down on your knees or down on the floor. Depends on the child, mine prefered to be somewhat upright anyway, meaning I had only a few minutes before they would either insist on being picked up again or fall asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to be as gentle as possible with the light - no flash, no glaring sunlight (baby will shut her eyes, turn away, scrunch up the nose...), but choose a place with lots of diffuse light to avoid harsh shadows. Outdoors on an overcast day could be ideal or indoors close to a large window.... We once found &quot;perfect light&quot; under a white umbrella on a bright (glaring, even) sunny day. If you must use a flash, try to point it towards the ceiling. Consider choosing a higher ISO, you won't enlarge the passport pictures anyway, so noise/grainyness isn't much if an issue. Don't be afraid to shoot wherever the light is good, in the end you need only the head / face and a minimum of neutral background.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Hiding the props and keeping the model in a good mood&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Remember: You only need to get the head for your final picture. So there is absolutely no problem with hands etc. elsewhere. But the required &quot;neutral&quot; backdrop can also be achieved by a blanket covering you or your helper: draped over your thighs or over your chest, or even over your hand as it cradles the baby's head. Keep shooting, then cut off superfluous parts of the final picture.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For older babies, a distracting second (or third...) helper making funny faces is excellent, but for a 2-week-old his eyesight may not be too good yet. So use sound to keep him alert and awake: talk, sing, use a small bell. Or sensory stimuli like light tickling with a feather or plush toy, stroking, gentle blowing... &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more technical details, check out our sister site &lt;a href=&quot;http://photo.stackexchange.com&quot;&gt;Photography SE&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T08:50:12.023" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T08:50:12.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21381" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-23T05:27:04.247" Score="10" ViewCount="3995" Body="&lt;p&gt;My parents are...protective. For context, I was 18 before I was allowed to go to someone else's house without their parents being home, and 12 when I was allowed in the back yard alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately instead of trying to negotiate boundaries, I responded to this by hiding a lot of what I did from them. I would tell them that a friend's parents were home when they weren't, or, once I got to college, not mention that I'd gone out on a weekend instead of staying in my dorm and studying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This turned into a pattern of not telling them anything, since I was never sure what would be acceptable. I'm 20 now and would like to break this pattern if I can, but I'm not sure how. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I come clean (which is likely to get even more restrictions put on me,) try to negotiate the rules and avoid discussing my prior misdeeds, or continue as I have been until I graduate from college and can live on my own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;To answer some questions:&lt;/em&gt; I live in [pretty safe suburb] of [major U.S. city] and am the eldest daughter of a Southeast Asian family.&#xA;I am currently living with them because it's convenient for my internship this summer (not the best idea I've ever had) but I go back to college in the fall. They are paying for part of my schooling, but I have enough saved up to take over that obligation for my next, which is also my last, year of college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A complicating factor is that they live about 15 minutes from my school and have shown themselves willing and able to just drop by with little to no notice. I've had some success telling them that &quot;If you don't tell me you're coming at least 12 hours beforehand, I can't promise I'll be available,&quot; but this holds less water when it's Saturday morning. I mean, it's perfectly reasonable for them to show up like that, but it makes hiding things from them much more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17362" LastEditorUserId="17362" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T12:06:54.483" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T15:06:17.653" Title="How do I stop hiding things from my overprotective parents?" Tags="|relationships|adult-child|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8375" CreationDate="2015-07-23T07:26:32.293" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I doubt a child at this age is even capable of understanding that parents are fallible. It took me until my teens to realise my parents couldn't do everything. However, that's probably in part because they look up to you because they need to learn from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But rather than trying to teach them at this age that you can't do everything, you can also use their idea that you can do anything in order to teach them some important lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in this case, instead of saying &quot;Daddy doesn't want to go to jail&quot; or &quot;Daddy doesn't know how to open the store&quot;, you could also teach her about acceptable behaviour and say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Daddy doesn't &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to open the toy store, because the people who run it closed it for a reason and it would be mean of him to go against their wishes.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let the kid think you &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; do it, but don't want to because it would be wrong. Not doing things you &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; have done but that would have been wrong to do, is the very basis of a strong moral character and being superdaddy means you have lots of chances to teach that kind of behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T07:26:32.293" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21381" CreationDate="2015-07-23T08:30:26.860" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you can't risk the chance you will have more restrictions, you just continue as you have been until graduate and live on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you want to break the pattern, of course you will risk have more restrictions (though it's hard to happen because you don't tell them about your prior misdeeds so your parents don't know you are hiding things from them, with them you're still a &quot;good&quot; child) - start telling the truth with your parents like &quot;this weekend I will go out with some friends to play something ...&quot;. If your parents don't agree, convince them you have grown enough and can decide what is best for you or at least know what is the right thing to do and what not (though it may take a lot of times, and it may not succeed in the first or second attempt).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, after a lot of times and attempts, your parents still don't change their mind, keep what you are doing now. It may make you feel bad (being a liar) but you have lived with it through years, so few more years is not a big deal, right? And if they agree, do it some more times to let them get used to this before negotiating with them about the boundaries (remove some, make some have easier conditions...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: You think your parents don't know about you hiding things from them, but maybe they know (not all, just some case) and they let you do it without let you know they knew it. They may be just waiting for you tell them the truth or negotiate with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17363" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T11:42:57.140" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T11:42:57.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21384" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-23T09:45:09.930" Score="6" ViewCount="299" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughters, aged 6 &amp;amp; 3-and-a-half, go through phases of intense rivalry. I generally hold an attitude of not getting involved, but sometimes the fight either &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;requires intervention as tempers flare out of control or someone may get hurt, or, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I simply cannot stand listening to incessant arguments any longer (e.g. in the car, where there is limited opportunity for physically giving each other space). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to provide guidance on helping them work things out, but I often feel out of my depth and find it tricky to do so without appearing to take sides (or end up joining a shouting match!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any pointers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17253" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T11:09:18.073" LastActivityDate="2021-09-29T12:28:19.660" Title="How can I mediate intense sibling rivalry?" Tags="|relationships|siblings|fighting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21384" CreationDate="2015-07-23T12:11:44.300" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids aren't very good at listening or telling exactly what they need. This can get confusing/frustrating, especially with two kids try to talk to each other. Solving problems is something that needs to be learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;girl 1 has a need&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;girl 1 doesn't say her need very well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;girl 2 doesn't listen well to what was say&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;girl 2 understand something completely different&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;rivalry occurs between the two&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your job isn't to solve their problem (even if it's tempting or seems like the easy solution). Your job is to be the mouth and ears of each kid. Repeate what they say, tell them what you see, clarify what they want to say, verbalize their feelings. It'll take time and you shouldn't need to punish anyone but be strict if they hit or call names.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I see girl1 is not happy&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;Seems like girl2 wants to play with a toy but girl1 is already using it&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&quot;girl2 wants to play with girl1 but girl1 wants to be alone&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, learning to wait their turn, asking before taking, stopping when someone says no; are important. You shouldn't need to force someone to share either. I haven't been in a situation with strong rivalry, but these worked well with small one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they understand each other, they can start finding solutions. Let them try to find solution and decide if it's good or not but guide them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also good to talk about these things when they are calm/happy. Together and alone 1-on-1 time. &quot;You know, yesterday you had a big fight with your sister. What happened? What would you like to happen?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you say the rivalry is intense. It might be built up of over the years. It can be hard for a 4-5yo to understand the behavior of a 2yo that wants to touch/see everything. Or a 3yo to see more attention given to a 1yo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastEditorUserId="7762" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T12:52:15.877" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T12:52:15.877" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8375" CreationDate="2015-07-23T12:54:05.317" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just be yourself. Right now you can do everything at a level that she can`t, you set her rules and boundaries, so of course you're a superhero. As her abilities grow, and her cognition grows, and her sphere of what she compares you to grows - she'll eventually figure out what things you suck at, maybe sometimes even better than you do. Things her friend's parents can do better. Things her mom does better. Which of your personality traits are maybe not as endearing as they could be. And eventually you'll miss being superman. Don't make it happen any faster than it needs to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And in the meantime, the conversation about the store is one about personal property.  Mom and Dad get to decide what happens in our house. The store doesn't belong to us, and it's unfortunate that the nice people who DO own it aren't there to let us in today. Why? Well, do you like that Daddy gets to stay home today to have more time with you? Yes? Well the people who are normally in that store are home with their families today too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T12:54:05.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21393" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21401" CreationDate="2015-07-23T13:53:16.173" Score="73" ViewCount="19771" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question is, could it be bad, in some way, for a child to not have cable/satellite television?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I are thinking about children soon. We haven't had cable hooked up in 6 or 7 years and don't really intend to get it. We do have a TV and a blue ray. We watch movies and Netflix. But we may go days or more without watching any TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are on our computers a lot. I am a software developer and my husband does various online things. So the kids would have technology around them and its not like they wouldn't know what these things do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically were cutting out most of the commercials (I hope), and most of the little random shows that just came out yesterday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why I ask,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husbands family also did not have TV for a few years when they were growing up because (this was 25+ years ago) they were on a farm in the country and cable couldn't be hooked up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently when the kids went into grade school they didn't know what the smurfs were and got picked on by other kids. It kind of turned into an issue that still gets mentioned once in a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T02:16:39.093" Title="Impact on kids NOT having TV?" Tags="|television|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-23T14:01:19.160" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest problem would be, as you state, the children not understanding the language and cultural references of their peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've even noticed this myself. I don't watch (or have) a TV, I don't care about or follow sports and I listen to music outside the norm. When I talk to colleagues or other parents, I have effectively &lt;strong&gt;nothing&lt;/strong&gt; to have small talk about other than work and my family. As a pretty big introvert, that doesn't really bother me, but for children I can imagine it being pretty bad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of what kids do is play, and play works best when everyone has a sort of shared culture to work from. If your child is not aware of the things the other kids in class watch, read or listen to then your child might be excluded or at least will be known as &quot;the one that needs everything explained to them&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T14:01:19.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-23T14:16:54.700" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;No scientific, but anecdotal answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't have a cable either and are in a very similar situation – IT pros with fast Internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids are 6 and 9. Both go to school / preschool and interact with other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there will always be a group of kids that has seen &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; that was on TV (square babysitter, you know...), others won't because their parents don't let them watch whatever they want. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think that you can compare your husband's experiences with the possibilities of today's technology. While he was literally unable to watch what his peers watched, you can still access most content online. You might need to listen to what your kids report as the latest &quot;subject&quot; (the must-see's can change fast) and find it online, but up to today our kids usually were fine with getting a basic understanding of what a series is about. Besides, at their age, I still choose what they may watch – using the old &quot;if all of your friends jumped from the bridge&quot; argument if necessary. And I fully know that – whatever the kids may say to the contrary – many other parents do so, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both kids &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; watch TV at the grandparents next door, but usually don't do so much. The both have come to appreciate ad-free movies and picking what they want to watch at the time they want to do so – and both had a hard time initially understanding that TV doesn't cater to their wishes in that respect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't say for sure how that may change when they enter their teens (&quot;Did you watch [some show] last night?&quot;), but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T15:59:24.010" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T15:59:24.010" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-23T16:06:15.620" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's bad at all to not have cable or satellite. My wife and I deliberately raised our children (eldest is almost 14, youngest is 9) without broadcast and cable TV. We do of course have a TV and a blu-ray player, and Internet access.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why'd we do it this way? Put simply, there's too much on TV that runs counter to the values we want our children to learn. We wanted to make sure that these undesirable influences had no chance to intrude upon our home and family life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do we miss TV? Not at all. Our kids became fantastic readers, and instead of spending their evenings vegetating in front of the TV watching so-called &quot;must-see TV&quot; they read, or we watch fun movies together or play games. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has it harmed them socially? Not once. True, they may not know about what's going on with the latest fad TV show, but again, these aren't really shows we want them watching anyway. So nothing lost there. They've never been teased or picked on because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I think it's been good for them? Absolutely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17371" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T16:06:15.620" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21397" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-23T16:27:32.640" Score="4" ViewCount="10828" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two kids, ages 4 and 6, are reasonably active and coordinated. In general, what is a good age to get children started playing on a skateboard (such as a &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pennyskateboards.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;penny board&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, a cheap and small skateboard)? Or, if there are parents here who have young kids on skateboards, at what age did they start?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1906" LastEditorUserId="1906" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T20:02:46.810" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T16:07:14.167" Title="What's a good age for a &quot;penny skateboard&quot;?" Tags="|sports|play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21381" CreationDate="2015-07-23T16:33:27.213" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, you're an adult now, seems time to act like one and confront your parents. &#xA;That's assuming it's possible to have a reasonable discussion with them on some subjects without too much of a negative impact...or be ready to deal with those negative impacts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO, the main advantages to you &quot;coming clean&quot; would be :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That's an indicator of how mature you are: you're not acting like a child anymore by asking permissions or lying. You make your own choices. Being more mature calls for more trust from them towards you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That's also an indicator of courage: you could have been going like that for years probably without them knowing anything but you decided, depite the risks, to be honnest to them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That will anyway be better than them discovering the truth by themselves. When you feel cheated, it's hard to trust the other aftewards...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You &quot;open the door&quot; for your youger siblings. They might suffer even more than you from this strict education and/or go even more against it, which could lead to extreme situations.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You will be less stressed: constant lying is really stressfull as you always have to be carefull about what you say, find good excuses and so on... and you live with the perpetual fear of being discovered, probably making any activity less enjoyable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You will be able to receive advises: even if you manage to have a more open discussion with your parents, that won't solve their fears so they will provide a whole lot of advises anyway. Believe it or not, some of it will probably be very wise (while others will probably be lead by paranoïa, but still). that would be a pitty not to get it and beneficiate from their experience.&#xA;That may also &quot;open the door&quot; for your younger siblings that may have the same issues and suffer from it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent (but not concerned yet by this kind of things as my girl is only 2.5), I hope I will stay open enough for my girl to be honnest with me most of the time. I know there will be things she can't/shouldn't do and that will most probably lead to her lying at some point, but I don't want for it to be systematic and I believe very strict rules just call for that &quot;automatic lying&quot; behaviour. You seem to be a perfect example of this (no judging, we all went through this to some extent). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note also that sometimes parents may be aware of you lying and don't address it. For example I've been smoking since I'm 18 but when I was still living with my parents I was &quot;hiding&quot; it. I realized afterwards they must have known (or be really stupid/naive, which they aren't), but probably they didn't tell me cause having to hide it forced me to somehow &quot;limit&quot; my smoking, and that way they also never had to formally &quot;accept/tolerate&quot; the fact I was smoking. I'm still a bit reluctant to smoke in front of them although they know for long now and I'm 36... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was my 2 cents, hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize enumerate only good things that might happen could look like a rather opiniated advice. That's not my intent. The whole thing could aswell turn really bad. There's just so many things from bad to worse that could occur depending on how reasonable parents are that I wouldn't take a chance on listing it. I also think OP probably already has a good idea of what could go wrong and how far it could go, knowing his parents' limits better than anyone here.&#xA;However, this is just an expression of how I would like to raise my kid in the future. I know (and honestly, hope... There are things you just don't want to know) she will lie to me about some things, I just hope we'll be able to raise her with just enough mutual trust for her to share the most important ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastEditorUserId="4510" LastEditDate="2015-07-23T18:28:03.667" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T18:28:03.667" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21384" CreationDate="2015-07-23T16:48:16.603" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Facilitate communication&lt;/strong&gt; between them. A preschooler especially is still figuring out how to articulate feelings, wants, and needs, but a six year old isn't perfect either. (The hardest part of this is that you have to decipher what the true feeling/want/need is that underlies the argument!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try to redirect&lt;/strong&gt; when you see a conflict beginning. This can be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a simple distraction (asking about something completely irrelevant to their conflict, like &quot;what snack should we have&quot; at home, or &quot;how many bananas do you think we need&quot; at the grocery store)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a verbal warning to stop a trigger behavior (&quot;stop poking your sister,&quot; &quot;don't make rude faces,&quot; &quot;that isn't your toy and you need to give it back&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;setting a limit if there's a sharing dispute (&quot;you can play with the tablet for ten minutes, then it's your sister's turn&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;removing the object of contention if they won't get along (&quot;since you could not agree on taking turns, nobody gets to play&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;enforcing a physical separation (at least a few feet so they can't reach each other — quite hard in a car, but is feasible in most other situations)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If one or both is tired/hungry, they will lose their temper significantly faster and be harder to calm down. But the quicker you can redirect, the less situations there should be that escalate into very serious fights (ones that risk damaging children, property, or your peace of mind).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One long-term idea that may help is &lt;strong&gt;defining and defending personal space&lt;/strong&gt;. Sharing is hard for most kids, but it gets harder when there are few things they really feel is &lt;em&gt;their very own&lt;/em&gt; — my sons share a room and have arguments about toys, clothes, and space that they'd never consider arguing about with their sister (who has her own room). The need to fight for &lt;em&gt;these things are mine&lt;/em&gt; seems stronger when the personal space is smaller, and trespassing (even accidentally) will get a stronger reaction. If they share a room and toys, this gets more challenging — find ways to emphasize some things that are &quot;just theirs&quot; and help defend that personal space (&quot;you know that this is your sister's [thing], please respect her property and ask permission if you want to borrow it&quot;). Sharing is an important skill, but so is respecting ownership or right to privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there seems to be a lot of underlying resentment about inequitable treatment, &lt;strong&gt;be honest about differences&lt;/strong&gt; that lead to different privileges and responsibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Why does OlderSister get to watch that TV show / stay up later?!?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  She's older and so she can do different things. But she also has to do more work around the house!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Why does YoungerSister not have to do homework / set the table?!?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  She's younger and so she doesn't have as many responsibilities. But she also doesn't get to do some fun things that you can!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T16:48:16.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-23T17:49:12.307" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up without TV (I was born in 1978 - not just no cable, my parents did not own a TV at all). It was sometimes annoying to not have TV and know what my peers was talking about, but not a huge deal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I watched some children's shows at my grandmothers. Enough that I was aware of the main characters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, in my teens, I watched 90210 at my neighbors house sometimes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think today, with access to Netflix and other streaming services, it doesn't really matter, especially for small kids. Having them watch ANY episode of Dora the Explorer and similar gives them an idea of the show enough so they can talk about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, when teens, there might be issues of not having watched the very latest Glee or Walking Dead or whatever teen/adult dramatic show where spoilers and plotline matters more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you can have a discussion at that time (and by that time the industry will hopefully have changed so the cable companies have lessened their grip on exclusive content)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T17:49:12.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-23T19:32:47.360" Score="70" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a different perspective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was in grade school, I had a friend that didn't have any type of TV service at home (they did have dial-up internet, but certainly no Netflix). I was completely unaware of this fact for a long time, until the first time I went to his house. There was a TV in the living room, but it was only used to watch home videos, and later on, for video games*. I, being a &quot;raised by the TV&quot; child, was initially incredulous, but his two-minute explanation made me not only completely accept it, but seriously reconsider my own TV habits (mind you, I was about 12 years old at the time). While I can't remember the excellent case he stated, I offer my current viewpoint, which is still almost entirely based on the conversation from that one day (supplemented by subsequent experience that I cannot segregate, as I do not recall all of the original details).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;*Also, he was only allowed to have &quot;family-friendly&quot; video games.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My friend was the most intelligent person I knew.&lt;/strong&gt; While not the most popular (perhaps because he wasn't familiar with some pop culture references), he had very good verbal and math skills, average or better social skills (harder to judge that one because mine were poor at that age), and excellent self-confidence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;He was also very well-behaved.&lt;/strong&gt; He respected his parents better than &lt;em&gt;anyone&lt;/em&gt; else our age. He didn't get into trouble, and yet, he was not a suck-up, nor a tattler, nor did he hold himself as better than any of the other kids.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;His family was fairly well-off,&lt;/strong&gt; at least as far as families of public-school kids go. Certainly, this primarily owed to his parents' jobs, but he told me that they credited a degree of their professional success to the types of lifestyle choices they made, including that of not watching TV. This is one element that I know has been reinforced by other life experiences. I've had opportunities to interact with a number of upper-middle-class people, and a few &quot;crazy-rich&quot; folks, and a recurring theme is that watching &lt;em&gt;TV takes too much time away&lt;/em&gt; from the things one needs to do to improve one's life situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Watching TV is mind-dulling.&lt;/strong&gt; As specific examples, reading books and playing video games both stimulate the mind more than TV. The reason is, in both of the latter instances, you're a &lt;em&gt;participant&lt;/em&gt; in the activity. With video games I never get argument on that point - there's an obvious input/output interaction - but I have been asked how I can say the same about books - &quot;You can't influence what happens in a book!&quot; True, but if we stop paying attention to the TV (perhaps something distracts us for a moment), the story continues along without us, unless we take the time and effort to pause (and rewind a bit to catch what we missed between the distraction and our reaction time) - which we typically won't do, especially for minor and/or repetitive distractions; most times, we either ignore or accept the distraction. In such cases we are allowing the story to run on its own. Whereas with a book, any distraction (that is not ignored) will &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; &quot;pause&quot; the story. Only when we are ready to once again fully engage will it resume; and we'll never start farther down the page, but either at the exact point of interruption or, more often, back a bit to re-sync. Additionally, with a book, we fully control the speed of the story (within the limits of our reading skill), but with TV shows, the speed is dictated by the producer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17352" LastEditorUserId="17352" LastEditDate="2015-07-28T17:56:54.830" LastActivityDate="2015-07-28T17:56:54.830" CommentCount="21" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21196" CreationDate="2015-07-23T19:41:55.287" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have any specific data, other than playing at about 10,000,000 parks in the last few years with my toddlers.  (Numbers may be slightly exaggerated.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rubber (or similar plastics) of the sort that is one giant rubber mat (ie, completely solid, nothing that comes off) is our favorite surface by far.  Safe if you fall relative to a hard floor, fun to run on.  Not sure about price, but it's definitely the most user friendly we've found.  You do want to maintain it occasionally, but it seems lower maintenance than other options.  ADA friendly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Woodchips are annoying.  They get in your sandals in the summer, and they're not as good at cushioning falls unless there's a ton of them, and they have to be replaced periodically.  I've never used a rubber-pieces playground but I think the same as CreationEdge there - same problems as with woodchips.  Not ADA friendly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sand is less cushiony than either of the above, but less annoying than woodchips.  But it turns into mud.  Also not ADA friendly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hard concrete or asphalt in some ways is better than woodchips to me, if the play surface isn't too high up - but it's much more painful to fall on.  It doesn't get in your sandals, though, and it has very low maintenance.  ADA friendly, but not considered sufficiently safe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall I would choose a surface that is one solid surface and has some boing to it if at all possible.  They can be made out of recycled materials, often, either plastics or rubber, so it's even eco-friendly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a brief search, it looks like the main choice is rubber poured in place, versus tiles, versus a rubberized plastic (&quot;ATP&quot;).  The latter has the longest life, 10+ years, but may cost more.  All three seem reasonable to me, and I've played with my kids on all three (assuming I can tell the difference, which I think I can) and enjoyed all three.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-07-23T19:41:55.287" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21407" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21421" CreationDate="2015-07-24T04:53:22.610" Score="5" ViewCount="10169" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in a high rise apartment, there are construction for renovation above and below me that I can do nothing about. My wife is 8 months pregnant we are about to have a baby. I'm afraid of all of this construction noise will disturb the child's sleep. The construction goes on during the day. It's pretty loud, both my wife and I wear ear plugs when at home. What can we do for our baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We downloaded a decibel measuring app, the noise seems to be at 75 decibels when they are drilling. Normal conversation is 60-70. But somehow this noise is so much more unbearable. I don't know, baby might not know the difference, but it is really annoying to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17336" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-26T16:04:27.060" LastActivityDate="2015-07-26T16:04:27.060" Title="how to deal with noise from neighbor construction for infant" Tags="|infant|sleep|noise|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21407" CreationDate="2015-07-24T05:53:41.457" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started extensive renovations of our house with a 6 month old. This involved 15 months of destruction, construction, tradies arriving first thing, jackhammers, etc... Our kid coped fine, he just learned to sleep through the din.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worse comes to worse, you can stick the baby in a pram and take him for a walk at sleep time. The downside is they kid may get used to sleeping in a moving pram; this can be a tricky habit to break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T05:53:41.457" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21410" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21413" CreationDate="2015-07-24T06:50:27.980" Score="3" ViewCount="439" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 6 at the end of next month. He is generally doing good with regards to his development. He has started reading and loves math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is a problem I have consistently noticed. Although he knows sequences like letters, days of the week, planets etc., if he is asked a question like &quot;What day comes after Wednesday&quot; or &quot;What's before G&quot;, he has to say the whole sequence from the beginning to figure it out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this common for his age? What can I do besides giving him more practice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17381" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-02T12:30:38.893" LastActivityDate="2019-04-02T12:30:38.893" Title="How to help a 6-year-old who has difficulties with &quot;what comes before / after&quot; questions (in sequences)?" Tags="|primary-schooler|development|age-appropriate|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21411" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21431" CreationDate="2015-07-24T06:57:18.223" Score="5" ViewCount="163" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 6 end of next month. He is generally doing good with regards to his development. He has started reading and loves math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of things I've noticed he has difficulty with-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I asked him for 3 words that rhyme with the word &quot;car&quot; (and many more similar questions, like rhyming words for &quot;frog&quot; etc.) . He takes a very long time to come up with appropriate words and sometimes gives up.. Given his clear and fluent speech and his developing reading skills + his reasonable vocabulary, I would've thought this was very easy for him. Is this normal for a kid his age?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I asked him &quot;What letter looks like the number 5&quot; expecting &quot;S&quot; and he had to hard time answering this. I made it simpler and simpler like &quot;0&quot; and &quot;1&quot; expecting &quot;O&quot; and &quot;I/l&quot; etc. but it took a lot of effort to get him to understand the concept. And he finally answered &quot;6&quot; with &quot;b&quot;. Are kids this age expected to make such visual associations?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you very much!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17381" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T01:07:17.520" Title="Kid having trouble with some seemingly easy questions (language and visual cognition) for his age" Tags="|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21410" CreationDate="2015-07-24T07:29:43.637" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't we all sometimes struggle with this? Probably less with numbers, but certainly sometimes with the alphabet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason behind this is how our brain &quot;files&quot; data. Let's take the alphabet, for example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Haven't we all learned &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alphabet_song&quot;&gt;the Alphabet Song&lt;/a&gt;? Sure, that means we know all the letters &lt;em&gt;but we teach and learn them as a sequence&lt;/em&gt;, not as individual items. Also, we typically practise the sequence &lt;em&gt;in one direction&lt;/em&gt;, not necessarily backwards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The simplest way to overcome this it to practise forwards and backwards and - if feasible - breaking the order entirely. Example: listing the days of the week or the months in alphabetical order or sorted by the number of letters, e.g. May, June, July, April, March... If you try this, you'll be surprised how difficult this can be, even for us adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note for future reference:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Once your child starts learning a foreign language the same principles apply to learning vocabulary: Don't simply repeat the list of words in the book, but change the order frequently, practise from one language to the other and vice versa and repeat those words most often that you struggle with. Copying them as single words or short sentences on notecards or little scraps of paper (instead of only writing the list into your notebook) helps a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-07-24T10:56:13.900" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T10:56:13.900" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-24T07:54:45.617" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whether children get picked on has much less to do with the thing they are picked on for and much more to do with their social skills and general social standing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your children asks to see something specific, make it available to them if it is appropriate for them to see, but concentrate on developing their social interaction skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child I had access to all the channels, but because I was fundamentally different from my peers (Autism spectrum disorder), I wasn't interested in the same things as them. Thus I could have known what all the rage was about, but never did, because I preferred Discovery channel to pop-singer-battles and sitcoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was heavily bullied through my entire childhood, but it was never about the things they said or called me, social ridicule is all about tone of voice and social exclusion. They could have bullied me with my lack of pop band knowledge, but never did. They chose my name, my country of origin and my weight, but it was never about any of that. It was always just about my poor social skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: &lt;strong&gt;If your children will be picked on, the evildoers will find something to say, no matter whether you have a cable connection or not, the two are not related.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17383" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T07:54:45.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21407" CreationDate="2015-07-24T11:16:58.797" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest using another sound to block out the construction noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of people use some kind of white noise device to help their babies sleep anyway even without excessive background noise. There are lots of ways to do this - there are special machines for it designed for this purpose but I don't think that's very necessary. It can just as easily be the noise from something else that's useful like a fan, humidifier, dehumidifier etc or you could try some soft music. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't generally used white noise with my son but one time when I was staying in a hot country we had to use a fan and air conditioning. There was a lot of noise coming from the room next door but I found the fan and air conditioning blocked the other sounds well and helped me and my baby to sleep. A continuous sound is much easier to sleep to than one that stops and starts and changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A simple web search will tell you much more about this if you need more information. A lot of baby sleep sites recommend white noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T11:16:58.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21416" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21397" CreationDate="2015-07-24T11:27:41.567" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than starting out with a skateboard, you might want to start them on something one level easier? A kick skate is very popular and relatively cheap to come by, and has several advantages like a handle, easier steering, less risk of flying backward headfirst.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When that is mastered, then the skateboard could be next - if it's even interesting at that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/1sc7u.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/1sc7u.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T11:27:41.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-24T12:40:45.803" Score="43" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3 daughters who are 7, 5, and 3 years old. I didn't allow them to watch TV till a year ago when I was talked into babysitting a large plasma tv while the owner left the country for a few years. Then it didn't take much to hook it up. I watched it for maybe an hour in total over 6 months just to remind myself why I got rid of my own TV in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However during those months my daughters deteriorated. Without TV it was possible to engage them - the two older ones were interesting to speak with. The 7-year old used to pester me for math problems subtraction, addition, and multiplication and actually kept a journal since she was 6. The 5-year-old knew the ABC and counted to 100 as well as tried writing phrases. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was before. After 6 months, they became much more confrontational and rude - behavior learned from children's shows that seem to feel it's critical that kids never question that their parents are stupid, useless, and an object of ridicule based on the cartoon 'storylines'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They started imitating the cartoon characters, who taught them that learning is overrated, that cool people talk in broken slang, that there are no morals to govern one's behavior but - 'I want it, and I want it now, and I don't care about anything or anyone else'. On the 6-months anniversary of plugging it in, my 7 years old told me that reading is stupid and a waste of time. That night, the plasma had an unfortunate accident (sorry Mark). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first 3 weeks without TV again, was like watching one of those shows where crackheads or dope fiends in rehab go through withdrawals. My girls didn't know what to do with themselves. Moody, tears, threats, first temper tantrum from the oldest. Now they partially recovered but the damage has been done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Books are shunned now, 6 months later, as something stupid, and there are frequent reminiscence sessions where the girls sit and talk about how awesome a tv is and how wonderful the programs are that show you everything instead of having to make pictures in your head and read stuff. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;----Advice: too late for me&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TV is what they indoctrinate you to mold you into a happy little bot incapable of independent thinking and always hand in hand with the popular culture and whatever that clique happen to be supporting and opposing that week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to grow vegetables, programmed to look down at you, then agenda-driven TV is the way to go. My advice - throw it out. There is plenty of stuff on youtube and other sites.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Study-1&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 2010 study, University of London Institute of Education, [&lt;em&gt;The consequences at age 7 of early childhood disadvantage in Northern Ireland and Great Britain&lt;/em&gt;], which used test results for 11,000 seven-year-olds tracked since birth (part of the Millennium Cohort Study).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ref: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ofmdfmni.gov.uk/the_consequences_at_age_7_of_early_childhood_disadvantage.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.ofmdfmni.gov.uk/the_consequences_at_age_7_of_early_childhood_disadvantage.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;...watching fewer than three hours of TV a day (is) positively linked to the teacher assessment score.&quot; (p.19)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;...less than three hours of TV a day in the pre-school period are all linked with a positive trajectory in teacher assessment between the ages of 5-7&quot; (p.20) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Moderate TV viewing (between one and three hours daily) is linked to lower (social and behavioral) difficulties scores as compared to high levels of viewing (over three hours)...&quot; (p.22)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(p.46)/(p.49) of the study are especially interest with the coefficients listings for various conditions affecting children of various races/neighborhoods/conditions at home/parenting styles. etc..  (including hours of tv viewing). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is lots of good data here to go over, but its plain to see from the data on pp.46/49 that the less TV the better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Study-2&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 2013 study by the same team as Study-1 above using the same Millennium Cohort sample - [&lt;em&gt;Social Class and Inequalities in Early Cognitive Scores&lt;/em&gt;] - published in Journal of Sociology&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ref: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://eprints.ioe.ac.uk/11611/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://eprints.ioe.ac.uk/11611/&lt;/a&gt; (docx download) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-neighborhood/201306/is-television-the-key-academic-success&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-neighborhood/201306/is-television-the-key-academic-success&lt;/a&gt; (summary)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study concluded that children of less educated mothers who watched 3 hours of TV each day were three months ahead of their peers (also with less educated mothers) who watched less than an hour of TV per day. Thus on average, children of less educated mothers benefit from watching television. For children with educated parents in stable homes, there is damage - physical health, mental health, progress, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17390" LastEditorUserId="17390" LastEditDate="2016-05-02T02:16:39.093" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T02:16:39.093" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21196" CreationDate="2015-07-24T13:26:47.747" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe I am completely off, but I would suggest not to use any of those materials. If it has to be done to respect some law, then so be it, but otherwise, I'd rather not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest to have the playground be in very simple (and not completely well curated, for reasons mentioned in point 2) grass. Some trees as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reasons are many, but I'll mention a couple:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;a physical reason: falling on the soil can be harder that on plastic/rubber, and this teaches kids a wonderful lesson, that is &quot;falling hurts&quot;. While it may sounds like a Spartan advice, the whole idea of becoming conscious of your body limits and of your surrondings passes via the fact that sometimes you bump into things. Also, it's quite difficult, at least for my daughters, to get serously injured at the playground/park as long as there's one of us keeping an eye on them all the time. Usually, from our experience, kids get injured on the toy where they climb/play on, not by falling on the ground. So, they learn the lesson, but not necessarily hurting much, which is, I'd say, good.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;an educative reason: grass gives you a chance to watch nature with your kids, watch flowers, sit in the grass, look at insects and their behaviour and so on. It's a great chance to spend time with the kids and look at how things grow. If the grass/trees are too much curated (as in the English grass) you won't see much nature there, that's why I mentioned not to curate it too much.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;there's also a creative reason: nature seldom repeats itself. Looking at how nature has evolved plants or insects or birds, and how each individual is different from the others, proves to be a wonderful occasion for kids to be creative in doing things. Not to mention the fact that you can do many, many things with natural material (my oldest daughter started with daisy chains and ended up creating rings and other geometrical figures: she didn't know the names, she is 4 and this episode happened way back, but she mentioned seeing those shapes in the park. Of course I took the chance to do a bit of geometry there :) )&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources: 2 daughters, 1 zillion parks/playgrounds, living on the border of countryside in Europe and not having too much rubber in playgrounds. Also, another source that I found amusing: the teachers at our kindergarten, and then school, always had/have a project of &quot;outdoor&quot; teaching for kids ages 2-5 (like going out looking at trees, bark, and so on). I was absolutely happy seeing pictures of them out in the rain or the snow, playing/tasting/getting dirty/ecc.&#xA;Other parents, of course, less.&#xA;Another source I can't find now, is a park in UK (I am not in the UK) where there are several materials, nothing is curated, and kids have a chance to try anything and everything (say: light a fire). I find the concept amusing, even if I would suggest quite some supervision there. :) If I find the link I'll add it, the main point being that the kids in the park where actively engaged in using their creativity to come up with something and almost never bored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3939" LastEditorUserId="3939" LastEditDate="2015-07-24T23:58:07.657" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T23:58:07.657" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21397" CreationDate="2015-07-24T16:01:08.570" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has the following information about &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/109/3/542.full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;preventing skateboard and scooter injuries&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Young children may be at high risk of injury from skateboards and&#xA;  scooters because their judgment of their own skills and strength is&#xA;  often poor, as is their ability to judge foot or vehicular traffic.&#xA;  Their center of gravity is higher than that of older children and&#xA;  adults, their neuromuscular system is not well developed, and they are&#xA;  not sufficiently able to protect themselves from injury. For these&#xA;  developmental reasons, children younger than 5 years should not ride&#xA;  skateboards, and those between 6 and 10 years of age should be closely&#xA;  supervised while skateboarding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, they suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;always wear safety gear (helmet, wrist/elbow/knee pads)&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;to prevent or reduce the severity of injuries resulting from falls. Use of protective clothing, such as gloves, is not sufficient. The helmet should be a bicycle helmet ... or a multisport helmet...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;never ride a skateboard in traffic, or while holding a moving vehicle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;encourage practicing at a skateboard park&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;These parks are preferred to home-constructed ramps and jumps, because they are more likely to be monitored for safety and separate the skateboarder from pedestrian and motor vehicle traffic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) agrees on the age suggestion, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00273&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;breaks down the age reasons in a little more detail&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Skateboarding is a special risk for young children because they have:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;A higher center of gravity, less development, and poor balance. These factors make children more likely to fall and hurt their heads.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Slower reactions and less coordination than adults. Children are less able to &quot;break&quot; (slow down) their falls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Less skill and ability than they think. Children overestimate their skills and abilities, and are inexperienced in judging speed, traffic,&#xA;  and other risks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The AAOS also has &lt;a href=&quot;http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00273&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;suggestions for learning to skateboard&lt;/a&gt; (on the same page) which would probably be particularly useful when introducing young children to the sport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since doctors' recommendations are sometimes pooh-poohed as overprotective and unrealistic, I also found a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.skatexs.com/blogs/news/14660569-you-must-be-this-big-to-ride-a-skateboard&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;blog post by a kids' skateboard store&lt;/a&gt;. They essentially confirm the medical professionals' stance: nothing is lost by waiting until 5, when a child's development has reached enough milestones that they are better able to control the board.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only does this keep them safer from injury, but they're more likely to &lt;em&gt;enjoy&lt;/em&gt; the skateboard if they can direct it easily and aren't falling frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-07-24T16:07:14.167" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T16:07:14.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-24T16:02:31.003" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my (admittedly anecdotal) experience our children have not experienced any harm from not watching TV, and may have benefitted from not having a TV around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my then-girlfriend and I moved into our first apartment together we had a TV and had it plugged in - but the only 'person' who watched it was our dog, because we'd turn the TV on to keep him entertained if we had to leave him home alone. (Didn't work - the neighbors still complained that he howled when we left).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we got married and bought a home together we decided to put the TV in the basement, facing the wall, unplugged. On a couple of occasions we said &quot;We should watch (the Olympics/the World Series/whatever)&quot; but we always forgot to do so. Time passed and kids came, but the TV stayed downstairs, facing the wall, not plugged in. The kids were allowed to play computer games and watch movies on our computers, but TV was just not part of their lives growing up. Sports (gymnastics and soccer), clubs (Girls Scouts and various similar groups), and school activities were all things they participated in, but no TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, my wife is very smart (high school valedictorian, top grades in college, recruited by international consulting firm after college) so I suppose that maybe our kids (three girls) would have been smart anyways due to her genetic and maternal influence - but our kids are all smart and motivated. As in - all three are straight-A students - eldest scored 2400 (perfect score) on the SAT after her sophomore year in high school, and enters Harvard as a freshman next month - next eldest is a top-level (level 9, transitioning to 10) gymnast, is a varsity starter on her high school's soccer team, and does volunteer animal care work (building up her resume' to get into vet school) - youngest is also a gymnast, and is showing interests in theater and clothing design. In addition, all three are well-behaved, polite, thoughtful, less materialistic than I was at their age(s), hard workers, and just generally speaking good kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is all this directly attributable to our &quot;no TV&quot; life? I can't say. I doubt that it's &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; because of &quot;no TV&quot; - but I think that does play a role. Early on they developed a long attention span, something which TV adversely affects. They didn't have TV showing them that &quot;being rude is COOL&quot;. They didn't have all those &quot;buy-buy-buy&quot; commercials bombarding them with the message of &quot;more stuff means more happiness!&quot;. They didn't have hours of vapid &quot;entertainment&quot; filling their heads with fluff - the spent those hours reading books and magazines and basically anything they could get their hands on. They didn't grow up feeling that &quot;interrupting their show&quot; was one of the greatest of all possible parental sins. If I need help in the barn or the orchard or the garden all I have to do is ask, &quot;Can you please come out and help me with X?&quot; and they're willing to help out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that &quot;no TV&quot; is a Good Thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;YMMV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6398" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T16:02:31.003" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21407" CreationDate="2015-07-24T17:29:25.647" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would/will surprise you what baby will sleep through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have two, and they've always slept through stuff like (adult) neighbours jumping around playing Wii just on the other side of the wall, the house behind us that likes to light off fireworks any time of the day/night, noisy parents (us) upstairs with noisy grandparents/other company, dishes being clanged together, vacuuming outside their rooms,...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby's going to wake up for very few reasons early on:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1- food, often&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2- made a mess, needs cleaned up&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3- colic/gas/other similar, hopefully rarely&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of you, on the other hand, I hate to say may have a hard time of it, since you're going to want to be able to hear baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Might want to get used to not having the earplugs in now, because like it or not, baby's going to want something at some point and be really loud about it if you don't respond fast enough :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17101" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-07-24T17:29:25.647" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-24T21:23:20.457" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a cultural thing. It will be differ with different country, different societies, and different families. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the moment I had moved out and lived on my own more than a quarter of a century ago, I have lived without a TV. All my children grew up without a TV, except my oldest for a while, whose mother had one for a few years while they were teens. (Her mother never watches TV. During that time, the children sometimes would watch in the afternoon, before she came home. From what I understood, she still has that TV, but the children do not use it anymore.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What were the effect? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While watching movies (on the computer) or going o to the cinema, one of my children was unusually strongly affected from scenes that were a bit harsher. That went away when he became a teenager. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;None of my kids can contribute much when their peers talk about what they've seen on TV. None seems to feel they are missing out much. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes they would visit friends with the intent to watch TV together. We neither encouraged nor discouraged that. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Important football (soccer) games we watch together using the computer. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Those who already went through their teenage years all had a phase where they would watch sitcoms etc. on their computer. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My oldest is about to move into her own apartment (with two friends) pretty soon. She hopes the others won't bring a TV. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All my kids read books. Some more, some less, but all of them read more than the average of their peers. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They also spend a lot of time on their computer or tablet. For the smaller ones this time is rather limited (half an hour/day during the week, an hour on the weekend). When they were around 13 or 14, my older kids were allowed to buy their own computer, and from then on weren't monitored anymore. (Council is still given, although I try to not to be indoctrinating about it.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, I see no reason to change anything. If any of the children had difficulty with their peers because they cannot contribute to the &quot;TV gossip&quot;, we would probably consider searching for a school where peers are better suited for that child. So far, this has never happened. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in a big city in Germany. Having lived in the US for a while, I can imagine this being much harder on the children there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-09-15T19:33:17.357" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T19:33:17.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21424" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-24T23:48:04.683" Score="1" ViewCount="259" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a mother, but my aunt is having trouble potty training my cousin. She's not talking very much yet and I don't believe the last methods (I potty trained her older sister with: But you don't want to mess up your pretty panties right?) are going to work. She isn't talking much and is just starting to respond to anything me say to her. I'm tired of having to change her diaper when she is nearly 3 years old so I would really appreciate any tips I can get. Thank you in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T08:02:46.620" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T08:02:46.620" Title="How to potty train a two year old?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21309" CreationDate="2015-07-25T00:01:43.043" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's pretty normal for a baby to stay awake an hour after waking up completely, really I'm surprised it isn't a little longer. If she does that then what you are doing now is a good method, or you could just let her talk to herself. either way she would probably go back to sleep after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now about your first question. I'm going to guess that she is in a different room than you. Make sure the room is well lite with a nightlight or something like that. If she's waking up so frequently while still sleepy she may be having nightmares, also not uncommon, try leaving something in the crib with her. Not anything big but maybe something she familiar with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please note that I'm not a parent, but I have taken care of baby's a lot (I've been watching my aunts kids since most of them were born)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T00:01:43.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20947" CreationDate="2015-07-25T00:09:52.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think a big cause of this would be something along the lines of peer pressure, or influence in this case. Just a week of influence can take a toll for months. I think a good idea is to see who he is hanging around at school or these camps. If a few of them are known to lie then (like the sponge kids are) he too with start this habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that is the case then try to talk with him about getting away from those kids. It may be hard for him to do, but make sure he knows why you want him to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T00:09:52.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21275" CreationDate="2015-07-25T00:17:15.120" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First I have to say I laughed at what you called him, but in all seriousness. My brother is exactly like this. He's 19 now (I'm 17) and you can only imagine what I went through growing up with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here my advice, offer him a reward and mention it first. like 'I'll give you a cookie if you do the dishes, and two if it's looks wonderful.' &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I know I may not seem very qualified to be helping with this, but you learn a bit growing up with someone as stubborn as a rock (This is how I got my brother to do things for me :D)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T00:17:15.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="289" CreationDate="2015-07-25T00:29:04.123" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, I don't think that would be appropriate. As a babysitter myself I would be freaked out, especially if you didn't tell me about them. (however your babysitter may feel differently so if you know them well ask them about it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think a good way to evaluate is to ask your kids, and see how they act when the babysitter leaves (if there are any behavior changes good or bad) also ask about what they did after and if there were any problems. Then if you would like ask your kid the same questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that every babysitter has their own style of babysitting, and monitoring them with camera's may cripple that methods effectiveness. (like if the babysitter puts the kid in the corner, they might hesitate. It's like being constantly monitored at your own job, it's uncomfortable)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T00:29:04.123" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="231" CreationDate="2015-07-25T00:36:10.863" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some factors to consider are hours, time of day, and number of kids, but for me personally I like the parent to consider how their kids act. If the kid is a spoiled brat (not in anyway implying they your are) then I would expect the parents to pay a little more than if they have a relitively  good child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T00:36:10.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21267" CreationDate="2015-07-25T00:42:29.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a babysitter and I've worked with few kids that are like this. The best thing to do (that I've found) is to out right ignore her. not just the behavior but the kid herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is most likely trying to get attention and unfortunately taking things away, talking with her, and putting her in time out is giving her attention. Now you won't see changes right away, but with time it should get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T00:42:29.963" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21411" CreationDate="2015-07-25T01:07:17.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;He may have good language skills and very smart, but you have to remember that he is still 5, or maybe 6 now. He may not yet have the capability to think outside the box like that. Though I do commend you for challenging him like this and I encourage you to keep doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's great exercise from his mind and will help him in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes this is completely normal with kids of that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(keep up the good work with him :D)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17157" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T01:07:17.520" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8375" CreationDate="2015-07-25T01:44:14.847" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is a good thing that your daughter thinks so highly of you -- use it as an opportunity to be a role model and exemplify the value of asking others for help.  &quot;I know how to do this because I asked _____ how to do it&quot;, &quot;I did not do this completely on my own -- _____ did some of the work&quot;, etc. And then &quot;You too can do just about anything if you ask the right people for help.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is a positive way to demystify your &quot;power&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17401" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T01:44:14.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21352" CreationDate="2015-07-25T02:08:13.570" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have her count on her fingers -- hold one finger up, say &quot;one&quot;, hold an additional finger up, say &quot;two&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she skips a number, then she will notice that she ends up saying &quot;ten&quot; when she is still not holding all her fingers up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes the number tangible. It is no longer an arbitrary part of a sequence, but a part of a whole. And when she is still holding a finger down after counting to 10, it is concretely evident that a part is missing from that whole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17401" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T02:08:13.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-25T03:21:42.267" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are not necessarily any drawbacks to not having TV. All you are really giving up is programmed content. Programmed content makes for a convenient electronic babysitter, but without it, children are not really missing out on anything. All the same content is still readily available on demand online, not to mention free of commercials. Furthermore, people (especially young people) are getting less of their content from broadcast programming and more of it from the internet every year. If you do not have children now, then by the time you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; have children and they are old enough to communicate with their peers in the language of pop culture, watching TV likely will have already gone the way of talking on a landline telephone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TV shows are not fundamentally different from movies and books. It is unquestionably good for children to have access to content that interests them, but there is no need for that content to be broadcast to them on a schedule. Take them to the library on a regular basis, take them to see the movies they want to see, give them parentally-controlled Netflix accounts they can browse at their leisure, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17401" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T03:21:42.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21435" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21437" CreationDate="2015-07-25T04:02:14.693" Score="2" ViewCount="161" Body="&lt;p&gt;I give my 22 m.o diaper free time for a couple of hours a day for the last week. He poops on a potty (good boy). But he is willing to urinate on the potty every 5-10 minutes. It looks like he enjoys the new ability too much. &#xA;Will it improve over time? Should I  train him for full 2-3 days, or he still urinates too frequently?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17403" LastEditorUserId="17403" LastEditDate="2015-07-25T04:19:00.167" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T05:36:08.380" Title="22 m.o. boy pees too often on the potty" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21435" CreationDate="2015-07-25T05:36:08.380" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl was potty trained a few months ago and indeed in the beginning she was so &quot;proud&quot; of her new hability but also not mastering it completely that she went really often on the potty. I guess this is part of the training process and you have to be patient about it. All the time &quot;lost&quot; now is for the greater good later on. If it keeps going on, you may need to put some &quot;rules&quot; on it: once each hour you bring him to the potty for example, but I would just try to be patient and go with him now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T05:36:08.380" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21381" CreationDate="2015-07-25T06:02:02.490" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would leave the past out of it.  However, it would be fine to pick a couple of areas in which to set up some boundaries.  This means taking a stance that something is your decision, that you will be handling with autonomy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared for anxiety on their part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When there is something that causes anxiety, it is helpful to prepare them ahead of time, so they can gradually get used to different ways of thinking about you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be very helpful if you could have a semester at another institution, or a volunteer stint -- even for two weeks -- somewhere out of town.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't need a reason for wanting them to call before visiting.  That seems like it might be a good starting place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don't feel guilty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a mother of a 20-year-old.  Children need to grow up and parents experience anxiety.  It's just something parents of young people your age need to learn to manage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T06:02:02.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21410" CreationDate="2015-07-25T14:03:41.760" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is this common for his age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What can I do besides giving him more practice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can help him strengthen this type of thinking through story telling, theater games (acting out well-known stories), manipulatives, and board games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can tell him the story of an exciting adventure you had together.  Another day you can review it by getting him started with the story, and then ask him what came next?  If it's a story he really likes, you can continue to work with it in different ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With either a family story or a story from a beloved picture book, you can draw some symbols or use some photographs or photocopied images from the book, mix them up, and ask him to try to put it back together, like a puzzle, and then you can tell the story based on the order he put them in -- it might end up like a fractured fairy tale, or silly, or even nonsense -- that's okay, this can be a source of fun.  In other words, during this experimentation, he doesn't need to get it right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can make a homemade Chutes &amp;amp; Ladders type of game, with labeled landmarks that are meaningful in his life, or from a family adventure story, or from a picture book.  An easy way of making a homemade game: take a sheet out of a big sketching pad.  Sketch out the track in pencil, zigzagging gracefully  and then aste the pictures in and go over it with a marker. To play, lay the paper out on a clean table.  To store, put it back in the sketch pad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working with a big clock with movable hands, you can talk together about what he does at different times of day.  Move the hands around as needed.  This gives you an opportunity to use time and order adverbs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him his own calendar on the wall and let him write planned activities in it, and notes about things that happened -- it's okay if he writes in silly things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Draw a snaky number line in chalk on the driveway or in the park, and make up hopscotch-type games, such as 1 - 3 - 2 - 4 - 3 - 5, etc.  If you like to do music together, you can sing or play the pattern, using the numbers as notes in a major scale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do the same thing (but without the music) with the alphabet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can make a board game based on a track with the letters of the alphabet written on it, and index cards cut in half that get shuffled.  Each card would say something like, &quot;go back 3 spaces.&quot;  You can write down the letters you land on, and see if it makes something pronounceable!  I haven't tried this -- you might need to make some cards that say something like &quot;go to the nearest vowel.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he gets comfortable sequencing in one area, it will be a good foundation for other types of sequencing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are on a journey of discovery, to figure out how your son learns best and what is most fun for the two of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T14:03:41.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21444" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21445" CreationDate="2015-07-25T17:54:38.463" Score="11" ViewCount="43929" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes my two weeks old daughter starts crying and crying. Apart from checking her basic needs (food, poo, pee...), I sometimes hold her and kiss on the cheek together with a soft hug. However, I have the feeling that such action does not have any effect on her (I even imagine her thinking &lt;em&gt;thanks for the kiss, but where is my food!?&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any specific moment in the life of a baby when they start understanding the &quot;meaning&quot; of a kiss in the sense of a caress? Is it an instintive action or something they learn from the context?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried looking for some references but could not find any.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-12T14:14:01.140" LastActivityDate="2019-09-14T14:09:19.623" Title="When do babies start understanding a kiss?" Tags="|newborn|development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21444" CreationDate="2015-07-25T20:52:40.010" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure of the answer exactly, but&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I sometimes hold her and kiss on the cheek together with a soft hug. However, I have the feeling that such action does not have any effect on her...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look at mammals in general, facial licking is practiced as a means of communication by (those without hands) from soon after birth onwards. It is likely that you get a small rush of neurohormones that mediate social bonding - &lt;em&gt;oxytocin&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;vasopressin&lt;/em&gt; - when you put your baby's face to yours and coo, kiss, soothe, or other. Same with the hug. Your daughter also gets some neurohormone release: oxytocin also decreases stress. So, this behavior is very important to both of you, and nurtures a &lt;em&gt;pair-bond&lt;/em&gt; and trust, among many other things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is so important that the genes for oxytocin and vasopressin - ancient genes - display a marked conservation in structure and expression. Mutations decreasing the neuroregulatory functions are not tolerated, but there are some mutations in higher social aminals, i.e. in New World monkeys, that seem to correlate with male paternal care. Decreased amounts are found in some mental illnesses. So keep up the good work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, searching the literature for preschoolers and understanding of kisses nets a lot of information about sexuality, abuse, and other unhelpful topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is it an instin[c]tive action or something they learn from the context?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chimpanzees and other non-human primates kiss to comfort, recognize, placate, etc. This activity begins early. The presence of kissing in non-human primates and facial licking in animals, and the release of oxytocin during such activities clearly points to an instinctual context. Clearly it is also refined socially. That's the best I can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0018506X06001802&quot;&gt;Neuropeptidergic regulation of affiliative behavior and social bonding in animals&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18988842&quot;&gt;Oxytocin, vasopressin, and the neurogenetics of sociality.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25535371&quot;&gt;Evolutionary pattern in the OXT-OXTR system in primates: coevolution and positive selection footprints.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.antoniocasella.eu/dnlaw/Kumsta_2012.pdf&quot;&gt;Oxytocin, stress and social behavior: neurogenetics of the human oxytocin system&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2000-05583-001&quot;&gt;The first kiss: Foundations of conflict resolution research in animals&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T20:52:40.010" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21444" CreationDate="2015-07-25T20:55:24.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kissing your baby is an expression of love and affection. Even infants understand that, as evidenced by my boys (now pre-schoolers) who as babies would often calm down from a tantrum when I gave them a hug and a kiss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether or not your daughter is affected by your hug and kiss -- or if she understands the &quot;meaning&quot; of a kiss -- is much less important than your act of providing such affection. As she grows older she will always associate these actions with love, caring, comfort and security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my view is you should focus less on what an infant thinks (which is still a big mystery) and carry on giving your daughter as much unconditional love as you possibly can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17397" LastActivityDate="2015-07-25T20:55:24.430" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21447" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21891" CreationDate="2015-07-25T21:35:01.000" Score="7" ViewCount="2582" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I married 18 years ago. He suffers from a particularly difficult personality disorder which has become more pronounced with time. We have five children, aged 8 - 17. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he became more abusive; specifically, name calling, insults, constant monitoring of everything I did, making sure I had no access to money, putting me down in front of our children, friends and strangers, I found it harder and harder to cope. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I don't see divorce as an option, as he does not abuse the children, who are very settled in their schools and environment and doing well in all areas. Divorce at this point wouldn't be a case of a couple breaking up; but a whole family, and the ramifications for the children unknown. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For two years I 'escaped' every few weeks for a few days, but always came back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when I started having panic attacks at the thought of him coming home, I knew I had to leave. I moved to an apartment in the same building, and came home to the kids when he was at work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was 'away ' for nine months. During which time, I regained my self confidence and being outside allowed me to see objectively that he was the sick one, and he can call me all the names in the world, but it is exactly that, him calling me names. It has nothing to do with me. He'd do it to any wife. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I became less and less scared of him, and now see him as nothing but a sad accident. I moved back home a month ago, but my relationship with my children is on the rocks. They are decidedly frosty, even hostile towards me and ignore me completely when he is in the house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What pains me the most is that my baby, who at seven still clung to me like a baby monkey, now sees my 13 year old as her security, and is scared to be left alone with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no outright cheek or verbal abuse from them, but they basically make me feel unneeded and unwanted. Before I left, I had a good relationship with all of them. I am pretty sure my husband has been alienating them from me while I was away, and probably continues to do so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like the children I cared for and brought up have been stolen away from me.  This is emotional agony. And no, there is no way my husband will leave. Is there any hope of me getting them back?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17412" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-03T05:48:42.530" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T03:22:34.953" Title="I fled my emotionally abusive husband, leaving my children. I returned but they don't want to know me" Tags="|relationships|separation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21448" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-25T23:32:38.393" Score="28" ViewCount="5812" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a 30 year old guy, and I'm single, never had a real girlfriend to speak of. My sister's first born is in some trouble and she has decided that her daughter cannot live with her anymore (there's been some lying, stealing, running away from home, and, well, sexual activity). So it's either she lives with me (I'm not exactly a short drive away) or she gets sent to a foster home, or basically a prison for teenage girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep that girl safe, as my family is very important to me and I especially adore her. I took her in as a visitor for the past month or so, and things have been fine so far, we get along great and I haven't had any problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As it turns out, her mom has basically told her nothing of the seriousness of the situation, that she is kicking her out. It's apparently up to me to tell her, or have her mother tell her, and I'm not sure what's the best (least bad?) way. I kind of get the feeling that they're not communicating very well, and that they tend to fight a lot, so I'm not sure if her mom should be the one to break this news, or if I should be the one. I'm sort of an easy going guy that tends not to get too worked up, I don't judge, it's all cool by me, I usually just coast through life in chill mode (even though it sometimes bites me in the ass when I get kinda lost).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, I'm definitely kinda lost. I've never had a kid. I don't know how to raise one (I don't know if I can ever &quot;know&quot;, is that something you pretty much just have to wing it?). I don't know how badly this is going to mess her up, if it will cause her to misbehave with me the way that she seems to with her mom. I guess there are so many questions that I ultimately have, but it starts with the big one first&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I talk to a 14 year old girl about something important like that? How do I say &quot;your mom is kicking you out, you can either live with me or she's going to ship you off to some boarding school type deal&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17414" LastActivityDate="2020-02-11T17:28:47.593" Title="How do I tell my 14 year old niece that her mom is kicking her out?" Tags="|teen|communication|adoption|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="8" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21449" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-26T00:51:04.033" Score="2" ViewCount="5281" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I have too much breast milk already in the refrigerator and I do not want it to go to waste, can I then place it in the freezer even if it's been in the refrigerator for five days?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17416" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-10T18:10:15.937" LastActivityDate="2018-12-10T18:10:15.937" Title="How long can breast milk be refrigerated before freezing?" Tags="|safety|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21448" CreationDate="2015-07-26T02:16:44.663" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;If things have been going as you say then I'd suggest you don't 'tell' her anything - she's 14 and old enough to start having some input into her life so why not ask her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just summarise the situation between you and her as you see it which is that she has had problems and got into trouble back home etc. but since coming to stay with you see that she is doing a lot better and seems to be happier - then ask her if she'd like to stay with you indefinitely.  Gloss over the bit about her mum kicking her out unless you have to go there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there's a good chance she'd go for it.  If it doesn't work then someone's just going to have to tell her outright - if that happens to have to be you then don't pussyfoot around it, outline that the situation isn't working for her or her mum and that her mum would like her to live with you for a while... and then give her some space to deal with it.  Perhaps offer to take her to the DIY store to get some paint to make her room her own or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it does go ahead make sure you get some legal papers drawn up to give you legal guardian status too.  It'll save a lot of hassle in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you could draw up and sign an agreement with each other - it won't be legally binding but it's an act of commitment on her part where you can both lay down your expectations and frame it somewhere in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for 'knowing' parenting... I don't think anyone ever can 'know' it - you learn what you need to know as it applies to the child in front of you at that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-07-26T02:16:44.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21451" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21466" CreationDate="2015-07-26T03:55:00.950" Score="4" ViewCount="2643" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I install my car seat using the lap and shoulder belt, the seat easily rolls over onto its side. I have a sliding latch plate with a switchable retractor. I &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; the issue is the sliding latch plate. Even with the retractor locked, the latch plate allows the car seat to rotate because the latch plate itself does not lock.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The LATCH system is not an option for this vehicle and car seat combination. The seat sits directly on the anchors causing them to become unhooked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I keep the car seat from rolling over when installed with the lap and shoulder belt?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Update&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the car seat properly installed with the seat belt now. The fix was simply putting a towel or pool noodle underneath the car seat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hadn't tried the towel before because I didn't seem to need it to adjust the angle. It turned out it was necessary to level out the surface the seat was sitting on as my car's seat (the seat actually part of the car, not the toddler car seat I'm installing) has &quot;indentations&quot; along the side that allowed the seat to rotate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17417" LastEditorUserId="17417" LastEditDate="2015-11-24T18:20:53.323" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T18:20:53.323" Title="Keep carseat from rotating when installed with lap and shoulder belt?" Tags="|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21393" CreationDate="2015-07-26T06:13:43.277" Score="6" Body="&lt;h2&gt;It's unlikely your child will suffer negative social consequences due to not having broadcast TV in your home.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;TV is on the decline.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point in time, cable/satellite television is not as big of a social influence as it would have been in yours or your husband's time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, a survey found that 1/3rd of &amp;quot;Millennials&amp;quot; don't watch broadcast TV.&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.poynter.org/news/mediawire/225528/third-of-millennials-watch-no-broadcast-tv/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, websites such as YouTube and social media sites with video content are becoming increasingly popular.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since 2011, children (12-17) are watching less of traditional TV in general&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.marketingcharts.com/television/are-young-people-watching-less-tv-24817/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;. This makes sense when you realize that they're shifting from standard TV to Internet-based media.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Internet media is on the rise.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More families are also trying to &amp;quot;cut the cord&amp;quot;, which is a popular trend in the USA of using only Internet-based services, instead of cable/satellite-based services. Estimates say that traditional TV companies are losing growth and ratings in the face of this trend.&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://variety.com/2015/digital/news/cord-cutting-picks-up-1-4-million-u-s-households-tuned-out-pay-tv-last-year-1201441530/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;3&lt;/a&gt; &amp;amp; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.businessinsider.com/cord-cutters-and-the-death-of-tv-2013-11&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, it's unlikely that not having a subscription to traditional TV services will have much of an impact on your child. The Netflix CEO has even made the claim that he believes broadcast TV will die by 2030.&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.businessinsider.com/netflix-ceo-broadcast-tv-dead-in-16-years-2014-11&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;5&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; While it may not necessarily &lt;em&gt;die&lt;/em&gt;, there's a high level of probability that it's going to change. Many networks already have their content hosted on their own websites, through streaming services such as Netflix and Hulu, or are offering their own individual streaming services.&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theverge.com/2014/10/16/6987543/cbs-all-access-streaming-service-no-cable-required-launches&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;6&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead being connected to pop culture through standard TV, your child is much more likely to be connected through Internet-based media and communication. It's incredibly hard to predict what sort of services will be the &lt;em&gt;de facto&lt;/em&gt; app for you child, as the landscape is quickly changing. Since the millennium we've seen MySpace, Facebook, Reddit, Pandora, YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr, Spotify, WhatsApp, Pinterest, Instagram, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.statista.com/statistics/315398/snapchat-user-age-distribution/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Snapchat&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://expandedramblings.com/index.php/vine-statistics/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Vine&lt;/a&gt; and more!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Ads and new content won't go away.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically were cutting out most of the commercials (I hope), and most of the little random shows that just came out yesterday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Random little shows sometimes seem to &lt;em&gt;be&lt;/em&gt; what the Internet produces. It's impossible to predict what's going to be produce, and hard to predict what's going to be popular.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as commercials, we're likely to see an increase to ads in our Internet media. YouTube, for instance, gives uploaders the ability to include unskippable ads in their videos. Twitter now has the ability for its Promoted Tweets to appear on other services.&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://techcrunch.com/2015/02/03/twitter-syndicating-promoted-tweets/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;7&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Traditionally, advertisements have been a huge source of revenue in media and in tech. Magazines and newspapers are filled with print ads. Television has commercials. Movies have previews and product-placement. Websites have ad networks. In 2014, Google's ad revenue was nearly $60 &lt;em&gt;billion&lt;/em&gt; USD, which was about 90% of their total revenue.&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.statista.com/statistics/266249/advertising-revenue-of-google/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;8&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; That's an incredibly large sum of money, and so you should only expect that more businesses are going to try to find ways to get a piece of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-07-26T06:13:43.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21449" CreationDate="2015-07-26T13:17:58.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to freeze things as soon as possible and once something is frozen DO NOT thaw it and try to refreeze it because bacteria will grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And here's a reference (short and easy to read) on freezing food: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.fsis.usda.gov/wps/portal/fsis/topics/food-safety-education/get-answers/food-safety-fact-sheets/safe-food-handling/freezing-and-food-safety/CT_Index&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Freezing and Food Safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't give you a set number of days and I was hard pressed to find one for breast milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure you know what fresh breast milk tastes like and dispose of anything that tastes off.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use old milk from the fridge first. If there's yesterday's milk in the fridge, give baby a bottle and pump so you're now storing fresher milk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't panic, just freeze it. If there's a tiny chance this milk won't be used right away, just toss it in the freezer. If you're wrong you just have to thaw the milk. If you put it in the fridge and are wrong you may have to throw it away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-23T12:48:20.817" LastActivityDate="2018-04-23T12:48:20.817" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21451" CreationDate="2015-07-26T16:53:11.347" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your car seat is properly installed, it should not be rolling over at all. There should be no give in the vehicle strap that allows the seat to come loose enough for the seat to tip. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your problem may be coming from not switch your seatbelt over to Automatic Locking Retractor (ALR) mode from Emergency Locking Retractor (ELR) mode. To do this, after you've threaded the belt through the seat and buckled it, extend the remainder of the the belt from the shoulder. Then, feed the belt back in. If you need it to be tighter than how it automatically feeds, pull up from the buckle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you still have issues, your car seat model should have included a locking clip. See the seat's manual for proper installation instructions, but also note the manual says that the locking clip may not solve all issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're unable to install the seat properly in your car with reasonable ease and assurance of safety, then you need to return that model and/or find a new car seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I was able to find specific information for your products, this answer should still be useful to a wide variety of users, as the types of parts your products use are fairly common. That is, ALS seatbelts, rear-facing car seats where LATCH isn't possible, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that in mind, let's look at the user guide for your model of car seat (&lt;a href=&quot;http://safety1st.djgusa.com/product_instructions/en/4358-5721%20Guide%2065.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Safety 1st Guide 65&lt;/a&gt;):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• &lt;strong&gt;Switchable retractor&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  These vehicle belts switch from ELR to ALR (Automatic&#xA;  Locking Retractor). You must have the vehicle belts in the&#xA;  locking mode to use them. Follow the instructions in the&#xA;  installation sections.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  • &lt;strong&gt;ALR (Automatic Locking Retractor)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  These vehicle belts lock after pulling the webbing out and&#xA;  letting the vehicle belt go back into the retractor an inch or&#xA;  two. Follow the instructions in the installation sections.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Vehicle Latch Plates&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  • &lt;strong&gt;Check the Latch Plates&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Grasp the tongue portion of&#xA;  the latch plate (the part that&#xA;  goes inside the buckle) and&#xA;  pull straight out, inline with&#xA;  the vehicle lap belt. If the&#xA;  latch plate does not slide&#xA;  up and down the vehicle&#xA;  belt, you have a locking&#xA;  latch plate. You should&#xA;  not need to use a locking&#xA;  clip. Consult your vehicle&#xA;  owner’s manual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If the latch plate slides up and down on the vehicle belt, and you&#xA;  have an ELR retractor, you &lt;strong&gt;MUST&lt;/strong&gt; use a locking clip to install the&#xA;  child restraint. You may not need to use the locking clip with a&#xA;  switchable or ALR retractor. Consult your vehicle owner’s manual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/0JUAv.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/0JUAv.png&quot; alt=&quot;Safety 1st Guide 65 user manual&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And here's the information from your &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.toyota.com/t3Portal/document/om/OM52A36U/pdf/sec_1-8.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;2013 Prius C Owner's Manual&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Installing child restraints using a seat belt (child restraint lock function belt)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;Rear facing Infant seat/convertible seat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  STEP 1 Place the child restraint system&#xA;  on the rear seat facing the rear&#xA;  of the vehicle.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  STEP 2 Run the seat belt through the&#xA;  child restraint system and insert&#xA;  the plate into the buckle. Make&#xA;  sure that the belt is not twisted.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  STEP 3 Fully extend the shoulder belt&#xA;  and allow it to retract to put it in&#xA;  lock mode. In lock mode, the belt&#xA;  cannot be extended.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  STEP 4 While pushing the child restraint&#xA;  system down into the rear seat,&#xA;  allow the shoulder belt to retract&#xA;  until the child restraint system is&#xA;  securely in place.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  After the shoulder belt has&#xA;  retracted to a point where there is&#xA;  no slack in the belt, pull the belt to&#xA;  check that it cannot be extended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/FjljO.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/FjljO.png&quot; alt=&quot;2013 Prius C Carseat Installation&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-26T17:41:47.270" LastActivityDate="2015-07-26T17:41:47.270" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21457" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-26T18:37:08.877" Score="2" ViewCount="2033" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm grandmother of a 1-year-old boy. My son has ADHD and is home trying to get disability, so they let me take the baby every week and he usally stays about 3 days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am trying everything that I didn't do with my kids. I want him to learn and bring it home. I do not think the boy's parents parent very good (I don't want to get into that can of worms). So maybe I over analyze everything because I am so afraid of him also having ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gets excited and grabs and scratches people's faces &lt;strong&gt;hard&lt;/strong&gt;. He also grunts all the time, enough to make his face red and then he laughs like it's a joke. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does not say any words yet, is this his way of talking? Should I be worried?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17430" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-27T12:22:37.077" LastActivityDate="2019-07-27T12:24:07.357" Title="Should I be worried about a 1-year-old getting excited and grabbing and scratching people's faces hard?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|violence|grandparents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21449" CreationDate="2015-07-26T18:41:53.390" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The La Leche League provides &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/milkstorage.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;detailed information about breast milk storage recommendations&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They don't actually discuss freezing after refrigeration specifically. However, the time limit on refrigeration is the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;72 hours (ideal) up to 8 days (acceptable if collected in a very clean, careful way)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Five days is right in the middle of that 3-8 days &quot;if collected in a very clean, careful way&quot; -- so the answer to &lt;code&gt;is five-day-old milk safe&lt;/code&gt; depends on how confident you are in your pumping hygiene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also consider carefully what type of freezer you will be using.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;Freezer (compartment of refrigerator)             5° F (-15° C)   2 weeks&#xA;Freezer (compartment of fridge, separate doors)   0° F (-18° C)   3 – 6 months&#xA;Deep Freezer                                     -4° F (-20° C)   6 – 12 months&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-07-26T18:41:53.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21460" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-26T22:33:45.320" Score="0" ViewCount="223" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year-old grandson hums and sings most of the time. This started about 5 months ago. He acts and seems very happy. But his 12 year-old step brother has now moved in. &#xA;They get along, but not as loving as I would like. I think he has some jealousy of the 12 year-old.&#xA;I'm worried that now that he is a middle child he may be having issues over this, and that the singing and humming is a defense action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17433" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T12:50:04.987" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T12:50:04.987" Title="6 year old and stress" Tags="|primary-schooler|siblings|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7816" CreationDate="2015-07-27T04:07:20.487" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a c-section at 37 weeks because I was preeclamptic. My initial birth plan was to do the Bradley Method, a natural vaginal birth. One of the greatest things I learned while pregnant was that your plan is a great ideal but not necessarily what ends up happening when it's time to give birth. I kept an open mind and had an absolutely amazing c-section. I got to wake up on a beautiful Tuesday morning anticipating our daughter would be in my arms in a matter of hours. After the spinal block, which was weirdly uncomfortable but not very painful, I went into surgery. My husband stood by my side the whole time and I got to listen to a mix of my very favorite music as we brought our sweet daughter into the world. I feel sorry for women who feel they &quot;aren't enough&quot; or &quot;cheated&quot; because they had a c-section. Clearly, the most important thing about a pregnancy is delivering a healthy child, whether through the abdomen or the vagina. I am grateful for my c-section and would do it again, hands down. If you are reading this and struggling with the idea of having a c-section, just remember it's all over in less than 45 minutes and the end result is the same as with vaginal births: a beautiful, brand new baby to love. Don't get down about how the baby comes out of your body: rather you should celebrate what an incredible job you did creating a new life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17438" LastActivityDate="2015-07-27T04:07:20.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21457" CreationDate="2015-07-27T07:45:35.710" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 1.6 years old now. From my experience I can say, you need not to worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;he laughs like its a joke&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids world is entirely different and we can't go and see whats happening in their world. Their, language, activities everything will be different. When he scratches others face people will make some sounds know, that make him happy. Just cut his nails properly. One year old baby scratches will not be painful if nails would have been cut properly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14392" LastActivityDate="2015-07-27T07:45:35.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21444" CreationDate="2015-07-27T10:43:19.707" Score="7" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there any specific moment in the life of a baby when they start understanding the &quot;meaning&quot; of a kiss in the sense of a caress?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each and every babies are unique and no static formula can be applied on them such as &quot;at this month he/she will do this and this&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can remember what my daughter did. When she was born, she would cry the whole night even though all her basic needs were fulfilled. I would have to hold her the whole night. I understood that she wanted the body warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I hold her I used to kiss her from the first day. First two, three months she didn't react at all. Later, from the &lt;strong&gt;third month&lt;/strong&gt; onwards she understood the meaning of a kiss and replied with a smile. During the &lt;strong&gt;fifth month&lt;/strong&gt; she cowled closer to me and tried to touch my face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;strong&gt;7-8th month&lt;/strong&gt; onwards she used to bite my face. When I showed some face expressions and made her happy she tried to kiss me from 7-8th month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later she started to kiss also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The month duration may differ from baby to baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14392" LastEditorUserId="14392" LastEditDate="2015-07-30T05:18:14.160" LastActivityDate="2015-07-30T05:18:14.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21465" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-27T12:59:37.583" Score="5" ViewCount="331" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a speech-delayed 5.5 years old son. Our first language is Arabic and he goes to an Arabic school that teaches English as a second language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been doing speech therapy since he was 3.5 yo. The initial assessment was that he is about 2 years delayed from his peers. I also have a daughter who is 3.5 yo and her speech is now equal or better than his.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I need to mention that there are signs of moderate attention deficit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem now is that I have a good job opportunity in a city where the available school will be teaching in English only (IB curriculum). Most of the teachers and students speak English as their first language and I'm afraid that this could worsen my son's speech condition. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17442" LastEditorUserId="17473" LastEditDate="2015-07-30T11:51:52.313" LastActivityDate="2015-08-13T12:26:20.557" Title="Moving my speech delayed 5.5 yo son to a foreign environment" Tags="|language-development|school|speech|attention|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21451" CreationDate="2015-07-27T19:01:00.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might find that a local dealership or hospital has trained staff that can demonstrate installation.  We purchased a similar seat at a discount through a program at our hospital and received mounting instructions from their staff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a similar problem recently when trying to mount that seat without using the latch system.  Turns out there are 2 belt paths, one for forward and one for reverse.  I was mounting the seat reverse and using the forward mount belt path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you are using the right belt path, it should be marked on the side.  Regardless of latch or belt, at both the hospital and car dealership training they recommended putting cut up swimming pool noodles under the seat to get it to level with the level line marked on the side then kneeling on the seat while tightening to ensure the seat is firmly in place.  I don't fit to kneel so I push down with one hand and tighten with the other.  Other approaches are described with video here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://thecarseatlady.com/rear-facing-installation-tips-tricks-and-videos/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://thecarseatlady.com/rear-facing-installation-tips-tricks-and-videos/&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11699" LastEditorUserId="11699" LastEditDate="2015-07-29T19:12:13.720" LastActivityDate="2015-07-29T19:12:13.720" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21469" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21473" CreationDate="2015-07-28T08:11:04.690" Score="13" ViewCount="6353" Body="&lt;p&gt;An issue has come up recently with our new son, in that he is at his most vocally unhappy when in the car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not 100% of the time, but it happens daily. It's only rarely because of dirty diapers or being hungry, so we're having a hard time figuring out if there is a physical reason for his displeasure, or if it's simply emotional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, he gets incredibly distressed during these times, which is highly unusual for him. We've tried everything we can to soothe &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; during this times, and any successes have yet to be repeatable. We've even tried adjusting the straps on the car seat itself to make him more comfortable, but it doesn't do much. He has no problem with the car seat when it's not in the car, even if the 5-point is fully tightened, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were a long road trip, we'd pull over and soothe him out of the car seat. But, this is occurring during the short trips in town (usually &amp;lt;15 minutes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So instead, I ask what we can do for &lt;em&gt;ourselves&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The primary issue I have while driving with him like that is that I end up distracted&lt;/strong&gt;, no matter how much I try to focus on my driving. Since we're primarily driving in-town in areas with high pedestrian and biker traffic, I'm not keen on losing my focus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try playing the radio or music as counter-noise, but we've found that only seems to help the passenger, not the driver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am really asking for solutions for us parents when we're driving, rather than asking for ways to assess our baby. We've been trying everything we can think of, and will keep trying, but we've not got any ideas for ourselves. Half the time there's only one driver, so the other one of us can't distract/soothe him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think my wife fairs better than I, when it comes to being distracted. I personally have trouble trying to do anything but focusing on the road. Even adjusting the radio dials makes it very hard for me to focus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't ruled out a physical cause for his distress (motion sickness, ear pressure, reflux, strap soreness, gas, etc.), because they're very hard to test when it's only happening in the car. However, he's not crying as if he's in pain or ill, but only as if he's unhappy (it's the same cry as when he's set down when he wants to be held, but cranked up a notch). I have a feeling we'll see him outgrow this issue before we can solve this 100%. &lt;strong&gt;There are still going to be those times where he cries anyway, because of dirty diapers or hunger, where we need a solution for the driving parent.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: I've accepted the top-voted answer, but unfortunately nothing suggested has worked, neither has anything else we've tried. Since there are usually two adults in the car, we end up reaching over and physically distracting the little guy and talking clearly to him. It's an uncomfortable position, but it's the only thing that stops the crying when he gets like that. (That same type of crying has migrated to outside of the car, and the only thing that works is close-up play with one of us, until he gets tired out enough to eat and/or nap)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T01:32:34.397" LastActivityDate="2017-05-20T06:59:04.270" Title="How to cope with a crying infant in the car during short trips?" Tags="|infant|newborn|crying|driving|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21469" CreationDate="2015-07-28T10:39:52.777" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were in the same boat with our son; he would only settle down when we sped up on the highway, leading to his nickname of Ricky Bobby.  We found that, weather permitting, cracking the back windows to allow a bit of white noise from the wind would help a bit.  For myself, however, I had to do a LOT of self-talk to keep my mind on driving and not on his caterwauling.  I'd narrate what I was doing to my son (annoying the heck out of his sister, but hey, kid, them's the breaks); not sure if it helped HIM very much, but it certainly kept me from being distracted by the howling, since I felt I was at least letting him know his concerns were heard, and by doing THAT, I could quiet the part of me that was pulling me to pay attention to him instead of the road.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2176" LastActivityDate="2015-07-28T10:39:52.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21424" CreationDate="2015-07-28T11:21:58.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;She'll be ready when she's ready.. Talk up how cute her big girl panties will be and set a deadline... Maybe like her next bday and tell her I'm that diapers are out and panties are in! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17454" LastActivityDate="2015-07-28T11:21:58.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21469" CreationDate="2015-07-28T12:37:46.747" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some ideas you may not have tried for the baby:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maybe he's getting too much air, or too little.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check to make sure sun isn't getting in his eyes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try running your errands at different times of the day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try vibrating the car seat with your hand.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try having the non-driving adult sit in the back next to him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the distracted driving part, the best thing I've found is not to try to block everything out, but to intentionally dedicate a very rote part of your brain to the distraction.  Try singing or talking to the baby, but something very repetitious you don't have to think about.  Your brain sort of says, &quot;Oh, he knows about the baby screaming so I don't have to keep interrupting him.&quot;  Then focus on keeping your conscious attention on the road.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-07-28T12:37:46.747" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21476" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21477" CreationDate="2015-07-28T15:09:00.460" Score="3" ViewCount="9739" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everytime I kiss my daughter her skin turns red like she has eczema, short or long beard it changed nothing. Shaving my beard completely is not an option because I also have sensitive skin and without a beard I get all kinds of spots and redness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there some kind of cream/lotion that can protect her skin from my spikes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-15T20:17:52.040" LastActivityDate="2018-08-15T20:17:52.040" Title="My one year old daughter is allergic to my beard. How to deal with such issue?" Tags="|infant|father|allergies|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21476" CreationDate="2015-07-28T16:27:24.240" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have this issue with both of my sons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're talking about small, red, splotchy spots on her face that are not raised or bumpy in any way, then you're probably not looking at an &lt;em&gt;allergy&lt;/em&gt;, but merely skin irritation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminal_hair&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Facial hair&lt;/a&gt; can be thicker and more coarse than body or head hair. This coarseness is abrasive, and so it irritates the skin. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what works for me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not shave or trim too close. The shorter your beard hair, the stiffer it's going to be. When it's stiff, the ends of the hairs are going to stand out and be more abrasive. Long hair will &quot;bend&quot;, so the tips are pointed away. Also, as it gets longer and ages, it starts to break down more, causing the ends to be softer and thinner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not let your beard get too long. Long beards can be unwieldy when trying to kiss your little ones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once you find a balanced length, avoid nuzzling-type kiss. When you get in too close, especially if you're smooshing cheeks with your pursed lips, it's almost inevitable that there'll be some rubbing. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try quick pecks or kisses in other spots. I find the top of the head rarely causes this problem, as it curves away from the beard and avoids the irritation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cover your beard, especially your chin, with your hand as you give smooches. This will block the worst offenders of your beard hair.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could try other things to softer your hair. There are a number of beard-grooming products that supposedly make your hair softer or shinier, just like other hair-care products. You'd want a product that smooths the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuticle_(hair)&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;cuticle&lt;/a&gt;, the outer layer of hair comprised of dead cells. I can't recommend a particular lotion, oil, or condition, but there's a variety to find.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you use a beard-care product you're going to want to make sure that the product itself won't cause chemical irritation. Personally, I just wash my beard with soap and water. The soap and abrasion helps to break down the tough cuticle, leaving the softer inner hair more exposed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also note that my boys have &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; been distressed about the marks, which go away in 5-10 minutes. My older son is old enough now to understand that my beard tickles, so sometimes he actually &lt;em&gt;likes&lt;/em&gt; when my beard rubs his skin, even though it leaves the irritation spots.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-07-28T16:27:24.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21476" CreationDate="2015-07-28T16:42:30.790" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some people get skin irritation from quite mild scratches. Along with a reasonably large portion of the population I get a slightly milder version of the picture bellow. It runs in the family a little and is quite painless and goes away after 20-30 minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/8efGt.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/8efGt.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Raised skin&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does it actually hurt her or cause her discomfort? If not it may not be anything to worry about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9011" LastActivityDate="2015-07-28T16:42:30.790" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21479" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21498" CreationDate="2015-07-28T19:28:36.370" Score="5" ViewCount="3624" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think somebody has already asked this kind of question, but my situation is a little different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2.5-year-old daughter has been in an increasingly-more-difficult period of &quot;no&quot; for 6 long months now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She says no to everything, and however I ask her, gently, angrily, explaining the goals, etc. it does not work. I have to ask her almost 20 times to put on her shoes, to dress up, to brush her teeth, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes she does things when asked, but a strategy that works the first time may cause a tantrum the next time, with cries and screams.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is new now is that she agrees to do something at first, but then refuses, as a kind of test, I guess. For example, she asks to have a banana, and I ask her if she is sure. She says yes, I peel it, and then she doesn't even take a bite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I (try to) keep calm and explain to her why I want her to put on her shoes, for example, but I always end up raising my voice at the end, and asking 1000 times a day is exhausting...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that, she can be very good. I think she is a little above average for her age: she speaks very well, is not overactive, goes to sleep well, and eats very well too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife has been pregnant for 3 months, and our daughter has now been aware of the pregnancy for 1 month. She seems to act out more since this announcement, but she takes care of the future baby and plays mother a lot with her stuffed animals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has been potty trained for 1.5 months and sleeps in a bed without a barrier (which she asked to have removed), so she is making efforts to grow and learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what else to do. When she is being difficult, I tell she is &quot;offside&quot; (I got that from a Montessori book), and putt her in a room until she becomes calm again. She might cry for 5 minutes at most, but it still happens again and again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, I don't spank her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have an idea of what I can do?  Can somebody please explain to me why she acts like this? Is it normal behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17458" LastEditorUserId="17176" LastEditDate="2015-07-31T19:23:08.567" LastActivityDate="2018-05-07T14:20:31.607" Title="My 2.5 years old daughter says no to everything, all the time, again and again" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21480" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-29T00:07:02.227" Score="3" ViewCount="873" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sister is about 11 years old. She listens to everyone around her except her family. She believes that we don't care about her. Since my family was extremely busy with jobs, we did not focus on her much. I do agree that it is our fault to begin with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we asked her to study maths today. She responded &quot;no&quot;. We asked her politely and then started to use force. Regardless, her answer was &quot;no&quot;. We have never been &lt;strong&gt;this&lt;/strong&gt; violent to her. We told her she needs to get into a university. She said she doesn't care. We told her she would be a beggar. She said she is fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realized we need another approach from being mean. She does not have any other hobby too. She just likes to sit at home and play laptop or read books. She cries when we ask her to go play outside. We can't make her do anything. Nothing seems to interest her except for a bit of literature. We want her to study maths during vacations so can have her foundations strong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am so helpless. Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17462" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-15T14:53:10.487" LastActivityDate="2018-09-15T14:53:10.487" Title="How to make my 11-year-old sister study more math when even violence doesn't work?" Tags="|education|pre-teen|siblings|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11373" CreationDate="2015-07-29T05:43:55.630" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a boy who is similar, he's four. I've learned to modify my language so I don't even say no just in case it has such a strong and lengthy reaction from him that it disrupts everything. He does it when he is overly tired, ill, run down, hungry (the mornings can be terrible) or constipated (which he can be a bit prone to be and sneaks up on us). It can go on for days and is stressful and arresting for us all. But the causes are mainly somatic, he can be incredibly difficult because he's physically sensitive to his internal state.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's feeling good, life is rosy. I think what I'm saying is, yes it can behavioural but also consider physical causes. It's easy to feel children are just being difficult just to be difficult or they don't understand why you're saying no. Possibly they are feeling out of sorts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17464" LastActivityDate="2015-07-29T05:43:55.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21484" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21490" CreationDate="2015-07-29T14:18:44.143" Score="12" ViewCount="6322" Body="&lt;p&gt;Alright, a brief background.  My step son is 5 years old, starting kindergarten in the fall.  His parents divorced about two years ago, they share 50/50 custody.  His mother gets him Thursday evening - Sunday, the 'fun weekend days' if you would.  While we get him Sunday evening - Thursday.  All of us work. His parents work normal Mon-Fri schedules with weekends off, while my hours fluctuate.  He goes to daycare 6:30-4:30&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a child of divorce myself I can understand wanting to go to the fun house all the time.  The both of us are working most days when we have him and don't get to go out and have adventures, it's pretty routine and boring at our house. He's started attention seeking behavior sometime last year.  He's not starved for attention or ignored or anything of the sort but we've deduced that it may have something to do with his parents having new significant others in their lives.  We still play with, do activities and spend time with him once he gets home from daycare and dinner is made and then we will do something as a family until bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately however he's begun crying over the smallest things, usually followed by a 'I miss mom' or 'I want to go to moms'  I've begun trying noting when this behavior occurs and it's usually after he's told to do something he doesn't want to do or told he cannot have or do something he wants to or bedtime, it's become a nightly bedtime ritual for him to be sitting on the couch crying that he misses his mom after he's been put to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's never behaved like this before, I'm trying to figure out a way to curb the behavior so he doesn't begin thinking he can cry and get his way or that crying is a venue for more attention, but not by making him think that it's not okay to cry or express his feelings.  It hurts his father when he does it, the constant need to be a good parent (and yes that subconscious need all parents of divorce need to be the 'favorite' as well)  We are pretty sure it's another attention getting ploy or an attempt at manipulation as it only happens when he doesn't get his way.  Any thoughts or tips would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A forgotten bit of information, aside from his new behavior he's a good kid, well behaved as a 5 year old boy can be, wants to make his parents happy, does what he's asked with a smile on his face, very &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; smart kid sometimes it's easy to forget he's only five.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17469" LastEditorUserId="17469" LastEditDate="2015-07-29T14:26:51.757" LastActivityDate="2018-02-17T18:07:01.170" Title="My 5 year old step son has started crying about everything and wanting to go to moms" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|crying|step-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21485" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-29T19:43:47.737" Score="3" ViewCount="264" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently saw a video on Facebook (see it &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI_XzNfxjlY&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here on YouTube&lt;/a&gt;) that involved a young boy, approximately 18 months old, that literally &lt;em&gt;dived&lt;/em&gt; into a pool, was fully submerged for at least 7 seconds, and kicked/swam his way to the surface of the water. At this point, he spends another 2 full minutes on his back, staying afloat and keeping his face out of the water. (A parent was in the pool, off-camera, the whole time. This was an educational/informational video.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also appeared to me that while the child was underwater he was covering his nose and/or mouth with one of his hands, and so returned to the surface using only his legs and one arm to swim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd heard of babies being train to keep there heads afloat, and I know there's a reflex that causes them to hold there breaths when submerged. But, I'd never been under the impression that diving (practically head first!) was part of that training?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the safe techniques used to train such a young child in that way?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What type of background or certifications should you look for in an infant swim instruct to achieve this?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;How much in-the-water time does it take to teach young ones this particular skill?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some stills from &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI_XzNfxjlY&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;the video&lt;/a&gt;, which illustrate the type of techniques I'm asking about:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3oRVJ.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3oRVJ.png&quot; alt=&quot;Baby diving&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/CUEje.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/CUEje.png&quot; alt=&quot;Baby holding nose underwater&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-07-29T20:26:50.293" LastActivityDate="2015-07-31T18:49:18.360" Title="How do you train an infant or young toddler to swim?" Tags="|toddler|infant|swimming|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21469" CreationDate="2015-07-30T04:47:44.203" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had the same issue with our son once we changed his car seat to a forward-facing one, where his older sister is fine for exactly 8.75 hours before she needs a break in the car!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we think it was, was simply the car seat bottom and angle.  It would likely just cause a sore butt and/or lower back.  Once we placed a new car-seat, the child is fine(r).  We are going on a 20 hour drive so we'll test everyone's patience, but at least for short drives around town and countryside now, he is content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it could also be over-stimulation, which he has now gotten used to (at 1 &amp;amp; 1/2, he is just now showing interest in what his sister is watching on a screen - he'd much rather play, run, jump, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the parents, which your question was really about, obviously, we've found singing was the best way to soothe the car and stay on focus with the road.  Or playing classical music while driving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing you can likely do is just make sure you have a repeatable pattern in what you're doing and DON'T STRESS OUT about all of this.  Exactly &quot;one day&quot; all of his fussing while driving will never happen again.  This too shall pass.  Don't let it control you or the kids.  You'll get along just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stress will likely be your biggest cause of distraction, just roll with this one like everything else you can't control.  You sound like you're doing an awesome as parents in all your trying to soothe the baby and now yourselves while driving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16091" LastActivityDate="2015-07-30T04:47:44.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21484" CreationDate="2015-07-30T05:05:31.210" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been in the situation in a couple different ways, and it is surely two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We always read too much into things, but it is always important to continue to be that parent because the alternative has lasting negative effects.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The &quot;i want to go to the other parents&quot; is a very intelligent way of manipulation, to suggest that he knows everyone is sensitive of his handling of the divorce and the new partners, and he is attempting to find weakness/propitiation/coddling that he can exploit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very important that you mentioned that he is very, very smart.  Raising intelligent children is outstandingly difficult because emotions aren't ever going to be as matured as the smart child's mind, but they are ridiculously effective at reading ours as parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16091" LastActivityDate="2015-07-30T05:05:31.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21484" CreationDate="2015-07-30T06:37:14.703" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with @Lance's answer that it's very possible that you might be taking this more seriously than you need to. That was my first impression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that I would consider his behavior as solely manipulation to get his way. It might be that when he's sad, he really just does miss the comfort of the mother he was born to and continues to see every week. That's how I would approach it, and I would try (easier said than done) not to take it personally. You can empathize with him without changing what he needs to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...it's become a nightly bedtime ritual for him to be sitting on the couch crying that he misses his mom &lt;em&gt;after he's been put to bed&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I may be misreading, but why is he sitting on the couch after you've put him to bed? If he's allowed to get up, he's doing something that works for him, but not for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this is much harder on him than it is on any of the adults. He has lost so much and he had no say in any of it. The ground beneath him must feel a bit mushy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the following would help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he has an &lt;strong&gt;excellent&lt;/strong&gt; emotional vocabulary. &quot;I miss mom&quot; or &quot;I want to go to mom's&quot; can mean a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of different things. It could mean, &quot;I miss my mom&quot;, but it could also mean&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm frustrated right now and I wish I had a way out of this feeling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm sad and I wish I could talk about this with my mom&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I feel all alone when I have to go to bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm angry and I don't want to feel this way and I wish I could be somewhere else&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm having new fears at night and I don't know how to articulate them, so I just reach for the first feeling I can name&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I wish all of us could just all live together in one house, and I don't understand why that can't happen&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's five. You obviously love him a great deal. Giving him a way to recognize and name his different feelings - all of them - is one of the first and most important steps for him in learning to deal with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then love him a lot. Maybe it would help to let him send his mom a goodnight text (and get one back) as part of his bedtime routine for a while. Maybe a soft nightlight would help. A special &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21594575&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;huggy-puppy&lt;/a&gt; at bedtime might bring him comfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if it gets to be too much, a few visits with a child psychologist might help. He's been through a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Once, when I was helping my five year old to tie his shoes for the umpteenth time, he sighed, and with great love in his voice said, &quot;Mommy, you're just like an angel to me, except when you're an angel-witch.&quot; He was quite guilelessly telling me that I scared him sometimes. But he was also telling me that he appreciated me most of the time. Both messages were important to hear.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-30T06:37:14.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21469" CreationDate="2015-07-30T07:14:59.350" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No one has said this exactly, so I'll throw this out in hopes of it helping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are, as parents, &lt;em&gt;hard-wired&lt;/em&gt; neurologically to respond to our infant's cry with a fight-or-flight response; there is nothing you can do about that except to read about it and accept that this isn't a true emotion &lt;em&gt;per se&lt;/em&gt; but a neurological response that evolved to assure parental care for the young. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prepare ahead of time; mentally pretend you're going to hear a police siren, but remind yourself that it's not for you. Reward yourself when you are able to hold on to this thought for a bit, with chocolate or a tootsie roll pop or &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; that's a concrete reminder that this is only your nervous system at work doing what it's supposed to do, but you know better in this case. You deserve a reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, too, that unless his car seat actually hurts him somehow, it's more uncomfortable for you than it is for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006322303006978&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Differential sex-independent amygdala response to infant crying and laughing in parents versus nonparents&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006322311001399&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Oxytocin Modulates Amygdala, Insula, and Inferior Frontal Gyrus Responses to Infant Crying: A Randomized Controlled Trial&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-07-30T07:14:59.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21469" CreationDate="2015-07-30T08:47:34.477" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I can summarize first, it seems the real question is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The primary issue I have while driving with him like that is that I&#xA;  end up distracted...&#xA;  Half the time there's only one driver, so the&#xA;  other one of us can't distract/soothe him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The difficulty seems to be fully focus on driving, despite your crying infant. As I've driven van-fulls of 15 screaming small children, I'll try to give some tips that I found worked for me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Before you leave, reassure yourself that you've taken care of&#xA;everything you can (dry diaper, comfortable in car seat, well fed&#xA;baby with access to toys etc.)  This will make you feel better that&#xA;you've done everything you could and keep you from trying to do&#xA;anything about the crying while driving.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reduce the impact of the noise - play loud music on the radio,&#xA;classical calming or rock&amp;amp;roll, your choice&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Remind yourself that the most important thing is getting to your&#xA;destination safely.  Your kid can cry for 15 min and will be just&#xA;fine.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Follow the five safe driving practices using The Smith5KeysTM, a method proven to reduce risks on the road:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Aim High&lt;/strong&gt;  The first rule for this method is “Aim high in steering”. Staying alert of the dangers and traffic ahead not only&#xA;  avoids rear-end collisions, but it also alerts other drivers behind&#xA;  your vehicle to slow down. The driver should steer and focus their&#xA;  attention high, so as to view the road as whole and not just a few&#xA;  feet ahead.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Big Picture&lt;/strong&gt; “Be aware of your surroundings at all times” may seem obvious to say, but distracted drivers are just as dangerous as&#xA;  intoxicated ones. Erratic and angry drivers take up a large portion of&#xA;  the traffic we see daily, so avoid major accidents by noticing how&#xA;  other drivers behave on the road. Having the whole picture means that&#xA;  you are doing your part to keep your vehicle as safe as possible while&#xA;  moving 1000ft a second. There are a variety of hazards between your&#xA;  own vehicle and other drivers, and a keen awareness of these dangers&#xA;  will reduce these risks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep Your Eyes Moving&lt;/strong&gt; The third standard of the Smith System asks drivers to remain alert. Energy drinks can only do so much before they&#xA;  cause the body to crash, and any repetitive motion sends us into a&#xA;  trance. Consistent eye movement prevents your body from entering the&#xA;  trance state, keeping you alert to every driving condition ahead of&#xA;  you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Leave Yourself an Out&lt;/strong&gt; The fourth principle of the Smith System states to leave yourself a way out. This means ensure that other&#xA;  drivers do not box you in while selecting their lanes. Do not follow&#xA;  other vehicles too closely, and always anticipate what choices other&#xA;  drivers make.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make Sure They See You&lt;/strong&gt;  The worst thing a driver can do is assume. Assume other drivers can see them, assume other drivers are&#xA;  not dangerous, or even assume that they will just get to their&#xA;  destination safely. The final rule for the Smith System is “Make Sure&#xA;  You Are Seen”. This rule prevents accidents by removing assumptions&#xA;  made behind the wheel. As a driver, make sure that other drivers can&#xA;  see you and anticipate your move. If you feel you are coming into&#xA;  another driver’s blind spot, use the horn to get their attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;from -&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.smith-system.com/&quot;&gt;http://www.smith-system.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-07-30T08:47:34.477" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21444" CreationDate="2015-07-30T08:52:07.820" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In truth no one knows and there is no such thing as a correct answer, nor can there be.  It is all subjective to the entire environment of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if the child hears the kissing sound In Utero, and gets the endorphin bump from the mom, and then is born and then gets the visual connection of the sound and the warmth of the &quot;closeness&quot; of the hug, they could very well understand the &quot;pleasurable emotion&quot;, which we want to call affection, as soon as a couple days old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other exemplary situations, a child may receive 10 kisses a day for life as an act of affection from an otherwise mentally detached parent and that person could live to 100 years without the &quot;understanding&quot; or endorphin kick from a kiss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good question and interesting answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16091" LastActivityDate="2015-07-30T08:52:07.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21494" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-30T11:34:20.170" Score="2" ViewCount="740" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got a friend who is asking me for some advice. He does very well. He is 26, owns a house, and has a really good technology career.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, his dad spent four years trying to find work and ultimately landed a job in the same city as him. His parents and younger brother temporarily moved in with him, although that is never a single guy's dream. The parents tried to sell their house but the escrow devastatingly fell apart the day before closing. Long story short, the buyer made them spend thousands of dollars in minor repairs only to walk away because he could not fund.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has been nearly three months since they moved in. He lent his parents thousands of dollars to help them with the repairs hoping it would expedite the sale and get everyone to move out. He also flew home three times to help stage the house, then move everything out, and then move everything back in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His parents, brother, and their dog are all invading his lifestyle. They are short a car so he has to taxi people as well as deal with the clutter and mess of a crowded house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is about to lose his mind and says he feels trapped. He says none of this is his problem, although his parents gave everything to pay for his private school tuition growing up. But he did not anticipate helping his parents would turn into a bottomless pit sucking his time, money, energy, and social life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally a cash offer came in for the house. His parents are now looking for a home as escrow nears closing. He is frustrated again because his parents want him to help move a fourth time, but he feels he has done everything he can and just wants his time back. He also is frustrated that his area is the only affordable one, and his parents may move only blocks away. He wants distance and a healthy single life, and worked hard to get distance from his family's drama and chaos. Ironically, his success, resources, and stability has made him the go-to person for every family problem. He'd like to start a family of his own, but his parents and brother are always following him for help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can he do as the only stable person with resources in his family, which he is now saying is a curse more than a blessing? Should he go and help them move or has he done enough? Should he be concerned about his parents moving close to him because that is the only area they can afford?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What boundaries need to be established?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16522" LastEditorUserId="16522" LastEditDate="2015-07-30T12:10:43.003" LastActivityDate="2015-08-02T14:58:10.120" Title="How much time, energy, and money should an adult child give to struggling parents?" Tags="|adult-child|money|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2022-01-18T18:54:54.330" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20469" CreationDate="2015-07-30T12:42:40.290" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most children who are older and have bad feeling towards their parents have it due to malformed boundaries. It's likely that the issues with finance and moving house etc are actually surface symptoms. The real issues are more likely to be around the personal relationship he has with his family, since I know that if I have a close and positive relationship with someone, then I'll do anything for them and it's not a chore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much should he help them? It's very difficult to answer questions with a 'should'.  Ultimately his parents are his parents and they should not be relying on him, but in balance they are his family. So it really depends on actually whether he can sort out the root personal issues he has with them. If he feels resentful at doing things for them at this time he &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; actually sort this out before helping them more, or swallow his anger. But that's all very easy for me to say without knowing about the personal relationship he has with them and the history. If they've been consistently unreliable and dependant on him throughout his adult life then that's dysfunctional and really he is parenting them, and needs to take a step back and put some distance in. If this is the only thing historically of this nature then it may be a case of put up or shut up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-07-30T12:42:40.290" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20469" CreationDate="2015-07-30T14:05:50.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of this is obviously opinion based; although he has done much, he should not forget that without them he would not be here in the first place.  They have been there for 3 months, what is that in a life time? Yes, it is inconvenient that he has to help them, and it is hard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But now that they may have found another place he doesn't want to move them? That does not seem reasonable, if I was in his position I would help them move one more time and help them get settled, and then talk to them in honesty. Tell them that he needs his privacy and his own time. Be nice but be clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is what I would say and do really.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11784" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-02T14:58:10.120" LastActivityDate="2015-08-02T14:58:10.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21479" CreationDate="2015-07-30T15:55:07.850" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to be &quot;rational&quot; with a young kid during conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her choices (we are going to the park like you asked, red or green shoes?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she knows feeling words, use them instead of being &quot;rational&quot; (I'm disappointed/frustrated that you didn't put on your shoes, I'll have to do it for you)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is important, show her real consequences (I don't want to go to the park with you today, yesterday we fought about shoes. I don't like when we fight, do you want to do something else?) (Last time you didn't eat the banana, I don't want to waste another one, do you want to eat ??? instead).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk about it when she is calm (Do you remember yesterday when we fought about shoes).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you have time and if the kid is good for it, try to negotiate a little (We have a problem, I want you to have your shoes on but you don't want) and try to find a solution together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has stress in her life, really listen to her, don't push away her thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe she feels powerless in her life and that's the only way she can find to have power. Let her decide more things when dealing with you or at the minimum look at free play with her deciding all the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You remember when she dropped objects all the time to test gravity? Well now she might say &quot;no&quot; all the time to test how being social works (here, gravity always has predictable concequences).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think she is being mean or anything. See her as a little scientist studying the world. Saying &quot;no&quot; can be seen as magic for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-07T14:20:31.607" LastActivityDate="2018-05-07T14:20:31.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21479" CreationDate="2015-07-31T12:34:58.043" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the best way to avoid always answering &quot;no&quot; is to not ask yes/no questions. Ask open-ended questions. &quot;Do you want to wear these shoes or those shoes today?&quot; &quot;Do you want broccoli or green beans with your pork chops?&quot; &quot;Do you want to brush your teeth before or after your bath?&quot; It still gives her the freedom to choose and exert independence, but within the confines of your rules. We wear shoes when we leave the house. We eat our vegetables because they are healthy. We brush our teeth to keep our teeth and gums healthy. Etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another way to avoid a lot of &quot;No&quot;s is to say yes more often. When she asks for something, say &quot;yes&quot; enthusiastically. &quot;Can I go to the park?&quot; &quot;Yes! Do you want to wear these shoes or those shoes?&quot; Or just throw it into conversation that you are responding in the affirmative. &quot;Yes, we're going to visit Grandma.&quot; &quot;Yes, we will read a story before bed.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, when you have to answer a question and the answer is no, try not to always put the negative in the sentence. &quot;Can I go to the park?&quot; &quot;We are going to visit Grandma first, and then, yes, you can go to the park later today.&quot; &quot;Can I have ice cream for dinner?&quot; &quot;We're going to have pork shops for dinner. Would you like broccoli or green beans as a side dish?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 18mo says &quot;yes&quot; more than &quot;no&quot; because of these practices. I hope they work for you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: In reply to the previous answer, I wouldn't recommend putting that kind of shame on a toddler. &quot;I was disappointed when you didn't put your shoes on.&quot; A child shouldn't be seeking to please their parents. She doesn't wear shoes to please mom and dad; she wears shoes to keep her feet warm and protected outside of the house. This explanation seems more appropriate than &quot;because I said so.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do, however, agree that using &quot;no&quot; is a very powerful statement for a child. They see the reaction it elicits in their parents and others and they like it! Much like how a ball bounces when you drop it on the floor. They are seeing how they have an effect on the world. &quot;I can make the ball fall to floor and roll away.&quot; &quot;I can make mom and dad make a funny face and speak loud when I say 'no' and I want to keep doing it because I have the power to do so.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastEditorUserId="9285" LastEditDate="2018-05-04T18:50:08.557" LastActivityDate="2018-05-04T18:50:08.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21310" CreationDate="2015-07-31T13:19:36.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I felt the same way when my daughter was that little. You want so bad to get them on a schedule close to what you followed before you had them. But honestly, a baby that young simply won't take to a schedule. Babies under about 6-8mo should be allowed an &quot;on demand&quot; schedule. This means feed, sleep, play, etc whenever they want. Believe it or not, they actually thrive better this way. If you want to implement a schedule later either out of necessity (due to work or other obligations) or just because you want to, a slow, gradual implementation is best. As the previous answer states, &lt;strong&gt;routine&lt;/strong&gt; is key, not schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2015-07-31T13:19:36.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21093" CreationDate="2015-07-31T13:29:38.980" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wait a while before investing in the creation of any system. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be possible to spot the relationships after some more time and by e.g. examining the vomit. I found small undigested vegetables such as sweetcorn and raisins in the vomit and was able to then spot patterns related to those items. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case he pukes after his next meal if he hasn't chewed vegetables in his last meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13599" LastActivityDate="2015-07-31T13:29:38.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21480" CreationDate="2015-07-31T15:46:54.810" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is just an opinion based on your story as well as what is going on, but it might be helpful to spend some time with her doing something you're both comfortable with. Find something you all enjoy for a few hours and have fun. During said time, ask about how they feel about math etc. or what's going on in their life. Try and feel out where their head is. Being 11 is still quite young to be making life decisions about being a beggar or not. Doing something enjoyable together puts everyone on the same page and opens a discussion up in a non-judgmental and non-harsh environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, limiting computer time by finding an outside hobby, or family time, might help them not escape into alone time as it seems they enjoy doing. I can understand you're all busy, but an hour or 2 a week or every few days can make a big difference in their views of the family as a unit. If a process is followed and a routine is created, then at some point you may not have to ask them to come join you, they may seek out the family out of pure anticipation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sucks not having a close relationship with a family member, especially a close one, but it's a two way street. For said family member to want to expand out of their comfort bubble there has to be an effort to be made for an alternate environment they can and will want to go to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Communication in this kind of environment is paramount. Ask questions in a non-threatening way and keep calm. Use that information to see what you can change or find a way to lead them in the future. But as stated before, 11 years old is not an age that justifies what they are and what they will be the rest of their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17484" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-02T15:45:32.793" LastActivityDate="2015-08-02T15:45:32.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21480" CreationDate="2015-07-31T17:09:18.887" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a father of three children, my advice to you would be: unless there is an unusual situation involved and you are your sister's guardian, mind your own business.  It is not your responsibility to make sure your sister does her homework.  Not only is it not your responsibility, you getting involved is most likely counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you say she does not have a hobby, but then say she reads books and plays on her laptop, which are both hobbies.  Reading is actually a very good hobby to have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you insist on getting involved, I would recommend something that integrates math with her interests.  For example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.khanacademy.org&quot;&gt;www.khanacademy.org&lt;/a&gt; is a fantastic website for learning about math, as well as other subjects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2015-07-31T17:09:18.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21485" CreationDate="2015-07-31T18:30:40.367" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl who is now almost 2.5 years old have been taking &quot;swimming&quot; lessons  since she's 3 months old. We bring her to a private pool in the surroundings each Saturday and she gets a private lesson during 15 minutes, without us being in the pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the beginning, the goal is &quot;survival&quot;: teach the baby to fall in the water from various heights in various positions (sitting on the poolside, head first, ...) and recover a safe position, on her back, floating for at least 4 minutes.&#xA;The lenght this takes dpends on the child, from a few months to a year the teacher said. It took my girl 6 months I think to get her &quot;diploma&quot;.&#xA;Then the process slowly evolves towards what begins to look like swimming movements, but as baby this age don't master all of this nor understand everything they're told to do, this is basically a very repetitive training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.flickr.com/gp/laptitejuliette/2H14FK&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here are some videos of her during the lessons&lt;/a&gt;. The older ones, at the bottom, show some examples of various exercises in the &quot;survival phase&quot;. The newer ones, to the top, show some examples of exercices of &quot;real&quot; swimming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the teacher (and his wife on some videos) has several years of experience with babies, this pool was created by his father who was also teaching kids to swim and is very renowned around here so I didn't look for any other &quot;qualification&quot;, which would anyway be useless to you as I live in Belgium :-) I say this because this is definitely not something we could have taught her ourselves, you need a lot of experience to know what to do and when the baby is ready to go further in the &quot;cursus&quot;.&#xA;We are very glad we took her to those lessons, she's really enjoying it, it could be a lifesaver, and it's anyway great to be able to play in the pool with your child on occasions without her crying all the time because her face is wet or so :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastEditorUserId="4510" LastEditDate="2015-07-31T18:49:18.360" LastActivityDate="2015-07-31T18:49:18.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21045" CreationDate="2015-07-31T20:22:12.493" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an eight month old who used to do this same thing.  What worked for me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give him five minutes or so before going to him.  A lot of times, my baby would be at a light point in her sleep cycle, and start stirring and crying, but would still have her eyes closed.  If I would let her fuss for a few minutes, she would often move back into a deeper sleep and never actually wake up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he's actually waking, and won't go back to sleep without the bottle, try to gradually transition to a different comfort item, like a projector, white noise machine, etc.  When you go in, provide whatever the new comfort item is at the same time as the bottle, and gradually reduce the amount of bottle he is getting, until eventually, there is no bottle and he is used to the new item as a sleep signal.  I'm using a projector/music player that has bluetooth, so now, if she wakes in the night, I can turn it back on using my cellphone and not even get out of bed.  She goes right back to sleep.  I've also seen voice activated soothers.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-01T13:44:47.430" LastActivityDate="2015-08-01T13:44:47.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21507" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-07-31T23:46:27.843" Score="4" ViewCount="264" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 3 week  old sweet baby boy. We got used that for the first few months there is very little order in his feeding/sleep time, but during night time, he wakes up to eat (my wife's breastfeeding him), after food time he sleeps very well if he is on a nice and comfortable pillow (the pillow on my knees). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if we put him in his crib after 2 minutes he is crying and wants to eat again. Almost like something is bothering him on the crib, we tried to put him on the pillow in the crib and he slept well. But the problem is when he sleeps on the crib mattress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did anyone experience something like that? How can we make him sleep in his crib?&#xA;Would love some advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17487" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-23T12:18:04.360" LastActivityDate="2018-04-23T17:00:25.800" Title="A three week old baby refuses to sleep in his crib" Tags="|breastfeeding|sleep-training|night-time|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10824" CreationDate="2015-08-01T00:56:23.790" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A half a corn on the cob. It's soft, pliable (you can make it as soft as you want), but I find a few minutes is enough so that it remains crunchy, soft, and malleable for baby. Our son loves it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17488" LastActivityDate="2015-08-01T00:56:23.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21509" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-01T07:45:30.953" Score="4" ViewCount="2462" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son has now taken the peace of our life and it has started affecting my professional life as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 18 and is scheduled to start the university this fall. In the last year and half his behavior has changed dramatically spending more than 12 hours out of home returning in the late night, smoking and drinking. I have caught him many times at  homes with alcohol. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently he was caught stealing alcohol from store and was arrested. I had to hire attorney to secure SOC and he is now under 2 years watch. We keep saying about good values of life but he seems to forget the next moment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was planning to finance his engineering study hoping he would change. Now I come to realize that he has no life skills and it is getting worse. I have been doing all his work including his university application despite reminding many times that it was his job to do. He is in a bad company and all that matters to him are his friends. He has become a pathological liar. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can't deal with him anymore and would like to stay away from him for ever. I know, he could become violent hearing this, but cannot deal any more stress in our life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17490" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-12-01T12:07:54.670" LastActivityDate="2017-12-01T22:42:16.650" Title="How can I keep our son out of our life" Tags="|adult-child|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6119" CreationDate="2015-08-01T11:26:22.950" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Turn down the water heater so it only lasts for 15 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2015-08-01T11:26:22.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20961" CreationDate="2015-08-01T17:16:46.107" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Read books by experts in the field to understand the why's behind the behaviors of children adopted out of foster care, which will give you a foundation for finding solutions.  &lt;em&gt;Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow&lt;/em&gt; by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky is a good one to start with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find foster adoption mentors and supports.  Mine is the former director of the agency we adopted our son through; she and her husband have 5 bio children, 8 adopted children, and have fostered 80 + children.  They've seen it all, are surprised by nothing, are non-judgmental because they've &quot;been there,&quot; and have had great experience and insight to share with me when I've encountered situations I didn't know how to handle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have age-appropriate, honest and open dialogue with your child.  We adopted our son when he was 7, and I've always let him know that if he ever had any questions or concerns he could tell me and if I didn't have the answers, solutions, guidance, etc., he needed, I'd find someone who did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find an adoption competent therapist and attend sessions with your child.  Find an adoption support group and if you can't find one, start one.  It doesn't have to be big. Mine started with two other moms, we've added a 4th, and we have helped each other through many a struggle.  (Dads are included, too, in our family-oriented gatherings and in whatever other way they'd like to participate.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a spiritual life.  Doesn't have to be organized in any way, but believing in something bigger than myself to call on for help when I'm overwhelmed has kept me from going over the edge more times than I can remember.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Work on yourself.  In my experience, if I'm being triggered by my child's behavior, likely it's touched on something within me I need to get to the root of and address, with the help of all the above supports.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practice gratitude.  In the low moments find something to be grateful about.  The sky.  The air you are breathing.  Your cup of coffee.  Having a toilet.  It's impossible to be negative and grateful at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, take it one day at a time, remember parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and put your own oxygen mask on first.  Taking care of you by getting enough rest, exercise, healthy food, quiet time, and relaxation will help you be the parent your child needs and deserves.  Being my son's mom is the best gift of my life.  I wish the same for you and your future foster adoptive child!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17494" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-01T23:15:37.937" LastActivityDate="2015-08-01T23:15:37.937" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21514" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21519" CreationDate="2015-08-01T20:18:30.787" Score="5" ViewCount="649" Body="&lt;p&gt;(Context in case it's helpful: My son is 12.  He created an Instagram account for himself at school this past year.  Since he doesn't meet the Instagram age requirement (13 and up), I tried to follow the help instructions on instagram to delete the account.  The account seems to have limited functionality, but still be in existence.  When I try to choose &quot;Manage Apps,&quot; it says &quot;You have not authorized any applications to access your Instagram account.&quot;  He can't visit Instagram on his account on our home computer due to not having a smart phone and the internet safety rules set up on his account.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think I understand most of the things my son is interested in doing on the web, but not Instagram.  I don't know what teenagers typically do with Instagram.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question A:&lt;/strong&gt; if a group of pre-teens are active on instagram, and my son doesn't have an account, what will he be missing?  I need the specifics, please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question B&lt;/strong&gt;: Any tips for helping prevent instagram from becoming a huge time sink for him over the next few years?  I already know about the general things (providing plenty of wholesome non-computer activities, using internet filtering and time controls, putting the family computer in a high-traffic part of the house) -- I'm looking for tips specific to Instagram.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I plan to post this question on Web Apps as well.  If you can respond to the parenting aspects, please do, and don't worry if you can't give me the full picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-01T23:48:53.533" LastActivityDate="2015-08-02T16:08:03.467" Title="Help me understand the attraction of Instagram, please" Tags="|computer|social-media|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21509" CreationDate="2015-08-02T07:15:50.800" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he is struggling with addiction issues. Stealing liquor is a huge red flag. With addiction, things like values, ethics and planning for the future go out the window. This is not a reflection of the person underneath but a symptom of the problem. If you can help him work through that problem, you will get the person back. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes serious consequences for the person to want to change. Do not shield him from those consequences - it will only prolong the inevitable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16561" LastActivityDate="2015-08-02T07:15:50.800" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21518" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-02T13:39:40.363" Score="3" ViewCount="7169" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son talks way too fast and often ends sentences with a mumble, especially when he is enthusiastic.  It is really difficult to follow his conversation and I end up getting very stressed, after asking him over and over to slow down.  The whole household seems to tense up when he's in full flow as we have to concentrate so hard to understand him.  I'm conscious of making him feel bad or shattering his self confidence when I end up yelling at him to slow down or I angrily walk off.  He is 12, gifted and talented at three subjects in school, really bright, and a gorgeous young man, well liked and popular.  I've started to consider speech therapy and elocution lessons but neither seem quite right, I believe we need some professional intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17499" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-02T15:39:43.253" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T22:06:35.663" Title="My son talks way too fast and I need help" Tags="|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21514" CreationDate="2015-08-02T16:08:03.467" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instagram is essentially a social network, with an emphasis on sharing photographs. (Think of Facebook, but instead of saying &amp;quot;just had a delicious burrito for lunch,&amp;quot; you'd post a picture of it and caption it &amp;quot;my delicious lunch burrito.&amp;quot;) Users have followers, and they can choose who to share their content with and who they want to communicate with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we're primarily interested in how tweens use it here, I asked my 11-year-old about it. She doesn't have an account, but has friends who use it in various ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They share photos of funny things, and really cool things that happened to them, stuff like that. It's just a way to share funny and cool information with each other. You can tell people that stuff they're doing is awesome. You're able to give a lot more positive feedback than if you're just emailing back and forth. Most of the time you don't give negative feedback.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;em&gt;Why would you not give negative feedback?&lt;/em&gt;) Well, you want to make feel better and happier. If they share something like &amp;quot;I'm so sad,&amp;quot; you can help them be happier again. I guess there will be people who are rude and stuff, but, yeah.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That last part particularly piqued my interest. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/Social-Media-and-Kids-Some-Benefits,-Some-Worries.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Research has shown&lt;/a&gt; that there are some positives to social media for tweens and teens (enhanced communication, strengthening social connections, helping develop a sense of self and place in the world), but there are also plenty of negatives (cyberbullying, “&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2015/02/04/383775091/does-facebook-cause-depression-depends-on-how-you-use-it&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Facebook depression&lt;/a&gt;,” exposure to inappropriate content).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing my daughter's circle of friends, I'm fairly confident that their interactions would be as friendly online as in person, and so I believe her when she says most of the interactions are positive. This is &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; dependent on the kids and friends, though; my friend's daughter got an Instagram account &amp;quot;because everyone has one!&amp;quot; After weeks of increasingly rude crap from her so-called friends (mostly &amp;quot;lol u weren't at this&amp;quot; pictures from parties she hadn't been invited to), the account got deleted. She's welcome to have it back when she's a bit older, with stronger emotional maturity and also some new friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a good article, &lt;a href=&quot;http://mediasmarts.ca/blog/what-parents-need-know-about-instagram&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&amp;quot;What parents need to know about Instagram,&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt; published by Media Smarts: I particularly liked, &amp;quot;T.H.I.N.K. before you comment on a friend’s photo: is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?&amp;quot; My primary followup advice would be to disconnect from anybody who doesn't T.H.I.N.K. before posting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To dig into the time sink question a bit, I have to turn back to the 11-year-old's anecdotes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;em&gt;Do you know anybody who uses it too much?&lt;/em&gt;) My friend M. spends way too much time on there. She's constantly on it, like all day, at [day camp], at home, she does it when she's eating, she does it in the bathroom, which, it's really weird. She just uses it way too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;em&gt;How about any friends who use it sensibly?&lt;/em&gt;) L. is very consistent, she only goes on there at most thirty minutes a day. She only shares really cool pictures. One time she shared a picture of really cool gymnastics moves since she's really accomplished, but she doesn't share everything that happens every single day. Just important stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for a tip that is &lt;em&gt;specific to Instagram&lt;/em&gt;, only share relatively important things. But, if he's &lt;em&gt;viewing&lt;/em&gt; pictures shared by friends rather than &lt;em&gt;sharing&lt;/em&gt; pictures he creates himself, there really aren't recommendations that are different from general Internet recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-08-02T16:08:03.467" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21520" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-02T20:31:49.173" Score="3" ViewCount="204" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 month old son is allergic to milk, eggs, fish, sunflower oil, and sunflower seeds. He also suffers from acid reflux, and our pediatrician advised us that he needs to gain weight. He only weights 19.5 pounds and is 30.5 inches long. They only advice she gave us was to try to join a support group with mothers in my area with toddlers who suffer from some of the same food allergies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We provide with him with similac go &amp;amp; grow stage 3 formula for milk, and I prepare a variety of meals three times a day for him including chicken, beef, homemade mashed potatoes and vegetables. However, no weight gain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm at a loss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17500" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-04T01:15:46.483" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T01:15:46.483" Title="How to get my 14 month old toddler who has a lot of food allergies to gain weight?" Tags="|toddler|health|weight|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21518" CreationDate="2015-08-02T20:51:34.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Professional intervention sounds like a good idea -- at least an evaluation, so you could find out what's going on, and whether the professional thinks she could help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son's primary care doctor should be able to provide some suggestions. A speech and language specialist is one possibility. Occupational therapists are good at bringing fine motor and gross motor into balance with each other, and work on executive planning. They are a fount of ideas for fidget items that can have a calming effect (on you too, not just your child!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own experience with parental anxiety has been that it can be hard to let it go when it is no longer needed. To keep a lid on your own frustration and anxiety, just keep telling yourself that even though a 12yo feels an urgent need to be understood, it's not &lt;em&gt;objectively&lt;/em&gt; as critical as it was when he was very small.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a few (mostly untried) ideas for you to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have your son carry around a small notebook where he jots down some key words, a picture, an outline, the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep a pad of paper handy in each of the places where he's likely to want to expound on something to you (car, kitchen, his bedroom, etc.).  You can model the type of graphic assistance you need, by jotting down words, symbols and visuals while &lt;em&gt;you're&lt;/em&gt; talking, and also while &lt;em&gt;he's&lt;/em&gt; talking.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You could try a blackboard or a whiteboard -- see which visual aids work best in which situations.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Develop signals to show him when you are still with him, when you're tired and need a short break before he continues, when you didn't understand, when you're on overload, etc.  It may take some practice to get him to look at you while he's talking so that he catches your signals (perhaps involving you touching his shoulder, leg or hand, or making some funny faces).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take a sign language class together, and don't be afraid to make up visual signals for various things.  The idea isn't to eliminate spoken communication, but to learn to augment the spoken word with visual gestures.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Learn to slow down your breathing when you're excited or anxious, and then teach him the same.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try asking him to do a deep breath or two or three between sentences or paragraphs.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Music lessons in the instrument of choice can be very helpful in learning to control one's speed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Build up his self-esteem: &quot;You are so smart, sometimes I have trouble keeping up with you!&quot;  &quot;I'm having trouble matching my speed to yours right now.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it would help to have him do some aerobic exercise (like stationary bicycle, jumping jacks or jump rope, while he's talking, to force him to get out of breath!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is a communication game I learned in high school involving three people, who take turns in three roles: A is going to talk to B about a topic of his choice; B does active listening; and C watches silently.  The rules of the game are that A may only say one sentence at a time; B should repeat back the essence of what he heard after each sentence; if that was satisfactory for A, A should nod and go ahead, and otherwise provide a correction.  If B isn't sure, he can say so, and A can try that sentence again.  After a few minutes, you rotate into a different role.  Perhaps you, your son and one other person could play this game together on a regular basis at a low-stress time in your day.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Play charades together.  This could be a fun way to practice nonverbal communication and get in the groove of really looking at each other and noticing when the other person understands and when he doesn't, and when he's in the guessing role, he'll spend a few minutes or seconds in your shoes!  Also, to play charades well, you need to plan how you're going to get your idea across.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Here's a really fun way to communicate that my spouse and I developed when one of our children was a baby and was having trouble concentrating on nursing when our voices got too excited.  Pick an easy tune that you are both comfortable with, and fit your conversational words to that tune.  We used &quot;The Streets of Laredo&quot; but you can pick any tune that works well for you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I have a hearing impairment and have trouble understanding my 12yo if the acoustic conditions aren't optimal, or if I'm trying to concentrate on something else (e.g. how do I get to the music lesson from this part of town).  It helps for me to indicate to my son that I'm not going to be able to take in what he's saying, at that moment.  If he insists on continuing, I've been known to say, &quot;Blah, blah, blah,&quot; which is something I can utter on autopilot, to show that I'm not going to try to understand, because it's all a wash of sound for me, but if he wants to think out loud, that's okay.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-03T12:59:09.593" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T12:59:09.593" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21520" CreationDate="2015-08-03T01:06:29.123" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The support group idea sounds good. To find an in-person group in your area, the Food Allergy Research &amp;amp; Education (FARE) site &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.foodallergy.org/support-groups&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;has a page to help find one&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't find one in your area, perhaps an online support group would be helpful for you. A forum where you can get ongoing interaction, suggestions and moral support from other parents. I don't know these personally, but they look worthwhile checking out: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://community.kidswithfoodallergies.org/forum/main_forum&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parents of Food Allergic Kids (POFAK) Support Forum&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.allergychat.org/allergy_forum/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AllergyChat.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over time, you may find it helpful to track weight and height numbers. There is a nice calculator that gives you percentiles online at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.infantchart.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby Infant Growth Chart Calculator&lt;/a&gt;; I put in your son's numbers and got the 10th percentile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be helpful for his doctor to give you a referral to a nutritionist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-03T01:19:15.083" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T01:19:15.083" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21447" CreationDate="2015-08-03T05:56:16.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your children need to have a thread of connection with you through thick and thin.  We don't know how stable their father is going to be -- so you need to be strong and a stable presence in their lives.  Don't push them to be close to you before they are ready, since from their point of view you abandoned them and can't be trusted not to do it again.  They will find out over time that they can indeed trust you not to disappear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to see them every day to show that you care and that you're not going anywhere.  But show up reliably to every school concert, basketball game, poster session, Open House, etc., and let the teachers know that you would like to receive a copy of all newsletters, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to make small but steady improvements in your knowledge, health and self-sufficiency so that your children can look up to you as a role model.  Set small goals for yourself -- as you progress through these, your children will see how a healthy adult lives and conquers challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are periods in which you don't see them every day or even every week, you can write letters.  Your constancy will show that you care and support them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T05:56:16.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21003" CreationDate="2015-08-03T06:02:50.913" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are having the two cousins for regular visits and play dates in the park, you need to be the authority figure for all three children.  The cousins need to learn that when you are taking care of them, you are the one in charge, and they need to play by your rules (e.g. no hitting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are going on two-family outings together, and you can't get on the same page with the parents, you may want to take a break from getting together with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you look into time-outs as possible consequences for hitting.  Getting the time-out right is a bit of an art -- see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/19208/how-should-i-conduct-a-proper-timeout&quot;&gt;How should I conduct a proper timeout?&lt;/a&gt;.  Note, timeouts can also be applied at the park.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T13:03:27.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21507" CreationDate="2015-08-03T06:12:38.747" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some ideas you could consider (these are all based on personal experience):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;prewarm the crib with a warm hot water bottle&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;get the baby to sleep in a sling-type carrier, and when it's time to transfer to the crib, bend over and undo the carrier at the shoulder, so you can gently set the baby and the sling down on the crib together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;noise machine or radio tuned to static -- or noisy fan not pointed at the baby&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;jiggling the baby or the crib can help with falling asleep&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;for a daytime nap, you and the baby can sleep together (not too close to each other) on the big bed.  Lie on your side.  Your breathing will help the baby regulate himself and be comfortable within himself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;don't be afraid to give the baby &quot;dessert&quot; a few minutes after he has eaten his &quot;mail meal&quot; -- this is called cluster feeding.  The baby may wake up 15 minutes after nursing crying for more, and if this happens, feed the baby!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that at three weeks, your baby is still a newborn.  A baby often needs to grow to a more substantial size before it can start spacing out its night-time feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Amazingly, the less housework the mother does, and the more rest she gets with the baby close by, the better in sync they will get with each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, please don't put the pillow in the crib, for safety's sake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-03T23:07:49.880" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T23:07:49.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21507" CreationDate="2015-08-03T14:59:43.593" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my baby was that little, we got her to sleep in the crib using a travel co-sleeper.  It's like a bassinet without legs, and is intended for putting in the parent's bed between the parents so that you have a safe place to put the baby during trips.  We put the co-sleeper directly in the crib, so she would be used to the crib itself, but still have the security of the close walls.  Once she outgrew it, we just took the co-sleeper out of the crib, and she was already used to the crib, so no problems with the transition.  The model we got also had a vibration/nightlight/music box unit on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T14:59:43.593" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21003" CreationDate="2015-08-03T15:00:28.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, it sounds to me that you're largely doing the right things already.  Getting him out of the situation (Time outs), re-engaging his empathy for his cousin (hugging afterwards), and giving him alternate ways to express his frustration (hitting the pillow) are exactly the same three steps we do with our (very aggressive) four year old - not quite the same way, but the same principles are there, and I think that's the key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A three year old is never going to be able to control his every reaction, and that's okay. He won't be perfect, and it's not reasonable for you to expect that. Not that you shouldn't make every effort to change the behavior - I'm just saying, don't feel that you have a &quot;Bad kid&quot; because he loses control occasionally. I've yet to meet a three year old that doesn't occasionally hit other children, and if yours is bigger than others, well, it's going to happen a bit more. Work with him to develop his empathy, to develop other alternatives, and he'll get there. Do try to be &lt;em&gt;consistent&lt;/em&gt; - don't change from one attempt to a different every time - as things will take time to sink in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the eight year old, it sounds like you need to talk with her parents further.  Non-confrontational discussion of behavior is perfectly possible; it's very important to phrase things in a positive light (how you can help improve things, for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also sounds like your three year old may need some tools to help deal with the eight year old. When you see issues like you describe above, right then, talk to him about what happened. Give him suggestions for how to deal with it - whether it is using his words to express his frustration, letting her know she should say excuse me, or getting help from adults when it's necessary to avoid physical conflict.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's also a great way to work on the empathy on his side - at least with my four year old, it's very helpful for him to see examples of when other kids push him around to understand how it feels for other kids when he pushes them around.  I see remarked improvements (at least in the short term) in his behavior when he's had an issue with an older kid pushing him or not being nice to him, and we talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T15:00:28.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21520" CreationDate="2015-08-03T16:51:14.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter didn't have allergies, but she did have quite bad reflux, and also had oral motor issues that made eating difficult (we feed her now through a &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/surgery/g_tube.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;g-tube&lt;/a&gt;).  She also required anti-seizure medicine orally, so keeping her food down was even more important than just weight gain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The tendency when a child is underweight is to overfeed, but this can backfire if it just causes him to throw up.  Try serving 5 smaller meals instead of 3 larger ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you want to focus on the calorie-dense foods, the fats and carbohydrates.  Pretty much the opposite of what an adult would usually do to &quot;eat healthy.&quot;  One of my nephews overcame his underweight issues with sticks of butter dipped in sugar, wholeheartedly endorsed by his doctor.  Don't get me wrong, children definitely need the vitamins in vegetables.  Just don't fill up on them.  This is a temporary measure for a year or so.  You'll have plenty of time to teach long-term healthy eating habits later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T16:51:14.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21534" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21518" CreationDate="2015-08-03T22:06:35.663" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It wasn't clear from your question, but I'm going to assume in my answer that your son is &lt;em&gt;able&lt;/em&gt; to communicate clearly when he makes a concerted effort, but perhaps makes it through a paragraph or two before slipping back.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eight year-old has a frustrating habit of speech where he talks when no one is listening.  What I do is simply not shield him from the consequences of his poor communication.  If he enters a room and interrupts me properly (says my name and waits for eye contact before speaking), he receives the full benefit of my complete attention, and a less frustrated Dad who is more amenable to requests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't, I don't bend over backwards and frustrate myself trying to figure out what he said.  I just say, &quot;You know the right way to start a conversation.  Try again later.&quot;  He is still working on it, but has gotten much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, I've never had to specifically define &quot;later.&quot;  He goes away, takes as much time as he feels he needs, then tries again, much more composed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your son's case, I would try saying something like, &quot;I want to hear what you're saying, but I'm starting to get frustrated at not being able to understand.  Please try again later.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also make sure you're holding up your own end.  Pause TV or music, put your book or phone down, and give him eye contact and your full attention.  If you can't at the moment, then tell him when you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T22:06:35.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21509" CreationDate="2015-08-03T23:08:27.917" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;I might be flamed off the site for this but are you sure your reaction is justified? From your description your son's big transgressions are drinking, smoking, stealing and telling lies. I can think of only a few I've known who have not done one or all of those things when they were young. It's stupid, irresponsible, and can damage your future but it's also a part of being young. You learn your lessons, you mold your life, and if you're lucky your family and friends stand by you even if you screw up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you say &quot;stay away from him for ever&quot; it's a tragic horror and so sad to think these are the things that got him disowned from his family. Now it's possible you're not mentioning how bad it actually is. Maybe he really is violent and hurting you physically, or perhaps his friends are the sort that could get everyone killed (like drug dealers using him to make meth in your back yard) or some crimes so bad you can't live with yourself knowing you are letting him do this without turning him in (like murder or rape)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how bad it is, but I can imagine how bad the whole world would be if it was common for people to give up on their families just because they tried alcohol and cigarettes and happened to like them like most people that try those things, especially at that age. Or maybe they were dared to go on a beer run, or maybe they just wanted to know the thrill. But he's young. He will still be young 5 years from now. He will screw up, he will put his family and friends in a hard place, and he will probably feel sorry about those things. If not now, then someday. That's the normal path of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What exactly do you want for your son? Are you sure the path of the university is what HE wants? Nobody wants their kids to be screw ups or end up living under a bridge or worse. But people should be able to choose their own paths. Maybe right now he needs to screw up to really know what he does or doesn't want in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't tell you what to do. But I think it's beyond extreme to totally disown your son because he's making some mistakes. Maybe you should first try not doing his work for him. If he knows you won't do it, maybe he will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T23:08:27.917" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21507" CreationDate="2015-08-03T23:16:26.520" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;At this age, a smaller bassinet with close sides might feel more comfortable than a giant crib.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2015-08-03T23:16:26.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21538" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21555" CreationDate="2015-08-04T01:57:48.407" Score="3" ViewCount="1796" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started potty training (22 month-old boy) about a week ago using a variation of the 3 day potty training method. &#xA;He was ok at home: 5 days diaper free, about 1-2 accidents a day. Usually I ask him if he needs to go potty and then he sometimes agrees and may go again in a couple of minutes, because he likes it.&#xA;He's diaper free at naps and cries hard when I put diapers on him for a bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's not going badly at home, but in daycare he refuses to cooperate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that after he had 2 accidents in daycare, they decided to put a diaper on him and continue the training with a diaper.&#xA;Also, their strategy (to put him on the potty every 30 min) apparently doesn't work for him. He sometimes cries when they try to put him there and lately he has stopped peeing in a potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it going to work? Should I insist and ask daycare to change their strategy? (not sure if that's possible)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or should I just accept him being in diapers in the daycare until he moves to the next room - that's in 2 months?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S At home we constantly observe him, and notice when he signs or says that he needs to go potty. I'm not sure that at daycare they pay very much attention to him (10 kids in a room, 2 teachers)...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;thank you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17403" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2015-08-04T03:37:05.350" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T02:52:15.950" Title="potty training 3 days method - 22 months old - daycare problems" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21539" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-04T03:31:26.830" Score="-1" ViewCount="2694" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is similar but not identical to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1421/when-is-it-safe-to-start-letting-our-children-go-into-relationships&quot;&gt;When is it safe to start letting our children go into relationships?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 12-year-old son is precocious in terms of height and puberty, but emotionally he is out of kilter with his physical development, i.e. he is in many ways quite emotionally immature for his age.  He has a healthy interest in girls, although he doesn't have much of an idea how to go from fantasy to reality yet. But a  female friend of his from school has been calling their play dates &quot;dates.&quot; The truth is that when we pick her up and take them to the swimming pool, or whatever, they just yak about stuff, go down the water slide again and again -- to us it looks like a normal play date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He told me they were &quot;dating&quot;, and had the idea I should drive them around, pay for movies and so on, and make myself persona non grata because he thought (realized) people go on &quot;dates&quot; without their parents. So far I've been able to steer through a very narrow navigable channel, but I'd like to establish a dating policy (which I didn't need to do when my other son was this age, because he was slow to mature and a bit socially awkward).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him, &quot;It's too soon for 'dating' but 'play dates' are fine; and every day is too often for talking to her on the phone.&quot;  (He has OCD and tends to want to phone friends compulsively.) But he wants to know when he can 'date' and I don't know what to say.  The closest I've been able to come to articulating a dating policy is to laugh a bit and say, If we're driving you guys around, that's a play date, not a date! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What is an effective dating policy for a 12yo boy, in terms of what age he may start, and any constraints he should have for the next few years?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T11:12:20.090" Title="What is an effective dating policy for a 12-year-old boy?" Tags="|development|pre-teen|dating|sexual-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-08-04T18:54:36.470" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20961" CreationDate="2015-08-04T15:23:27.363" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One additional suggestion:  educate any other adults who will be spending a lot of time with the child, such as relatives, teachers, or respite providers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the issues that you see a lot with attachment issues is a highly developed ability to play adults off each other so that the child remains in control.  Letting people know up front can help prevent situations where the child gets another adult to work against your rules, which can lead to both setbacks for the child, and removing your support base.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a foster mom myself, and had to do this with my family, because none of them understood the rules and consequences I had in place for the kids, which seemed mean, or just crazy to them, not having any knowledge of attachment issues prior to me starting fostering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T15:23:27.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21539" CreationDate="2015-08-04T15:28:54.473" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't sound like the kids are doing anything age-inappropriate, or inappropriate in general.  If you don't feel comfortable helping them playact &quot;real dating&quot; (movies, dinners, etc) then don't do it.  I'd also advise you not to get hung up on whatever they want to call their time together.  From what you've described, it doesn't sound much different --at this point --than when kindergarteners decide they are &quot;boyfriend and girlfriend.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does sound, however, like this might be a good time to have &quot;the talk&quot; (about sex) if you haven't already, since he's moving quickly towards physical maturity.  (This piece of advice is completely independent of his relationship with this particular girl.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as &quot;when can he date,&quot;  I'd tell him when he can drive himself and his date to the movie, pay for dinner himself, and generally show evidence of being able to handle himself in a responsible manner without a parent.  That ties it to specific, relevant milestones rather than an arbitrary number (plus, it reduces your role as either gatekeeper or enabler).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2015-08-04T19:14:11.137" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T19:14:11.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12741" CreationDate="2015-08-04T16:08:24.553" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven-year old (boy) is the same --and I was the exact same myself as a kid. My biggest piece of advice would be to not do the second dinner.  A full stomach makes it harder to sleep, and no child who gets three meals a day is starving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my son (and myself) plenty of exercise is a huge key to good sleep, preferably throughout the day, but right before bedtime if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On nights when nothing at all works, we just let him stay up (in his room), but he isn't allowed to interfere with our activities, and he doesn't get any special accommodations --no food, water, snacks, extra stories, sleeping in our room, etc.  It may not solve the problem, but it keeps it from ruining &lt;em&gt;our&lt;/em&gt; lives, and it means he isn't being &quot;rewarded&quot; for staying up.  But that doesn't happen often (as long as he gets plenty of exercise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T16:08:24.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21539" CreationDate="2015-08-04T16:16:04.803" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/1421/644&quot;&gt;similar question&lt;/a&gt; a while back, where I outlined my own personal policy and my values backing that policy.  When developing your own policy, you should consider your own values and the results you want to achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the key here is find a way to say yes.  It isn't a choice between forbidding any relationship at all or permitting any relationship at all.  In other words, instead of forbidding the date, require adding more people to the event, put restrictions on being paired off or alone, and encourage him to develop a wide variety of relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to caution you against dismissing the relationship as merely play dates.  It wasn't too long ago when it wasn't unusual for people to start their own family at age 13 or 14.  Industrialization moved that age back, but our bodies don't know that.  I've recently noticed myself thinking of college graduates as emotionally immature.  I think it takes a conscious effort to realize that teens have adult feelings even if they don't yet have an adult sense of responsibility and self-control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T16:16:04.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19789" CreationDate="2015-08-04T17:11:10.180" Score="1" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not getting enough sleep can lead to sleep being more restless, and waking up.  If he isn't getting a nap, try getting him to take one, or move bedtime earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure his room is conducive to sleep.  A comfort item, a nightlight, a few toys but nothing too stimulating.  I know this can be harder for parents who are limited on space, but if possible, move any noisy, light-up, or overly engaging toys to another room.  That way, if he wakes up, it isn't a choice between playing with things that wind him up and sleeping more.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he'll play in his room, you might want to try letting him.  One of my foster kids kept doing this.  She would wake in the night and immediately jump out of bed and start playing to keep herself awake.  After trying some other stuff, we let her play in her room with the quiet toys that were in there.  It only took a couple of times when she fell asleep in the floor before she decided her bed wasn't that bad.  After that, she would get up, get a new stuffed animal, and get back in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;www.babysleepsite.com has user forums with a lot of material on getting babies and toddlers to sleep.  I've included links to a chart showing average sleep schedules by age, and the article listing by category, there is a whole section for toddlers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-needs/baby-toddler-bedtime-chart/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-needs/baby-toddler-bedtime-chart/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babysleepsite.com/view-posts-by-category/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babysleepsite.com/view-posts-by-category/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience: foster mom to kids ages newborn to 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-04T17:11:10.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21548" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21549" CreationDate="2015-08-05T01:21:48.967" Score="0" ViewCount="722" Body="&lt;p&gt;Child is currently 2 years 2 months old.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I speak only in English with the child and the child understands it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I read the story books in English and the child understands them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;English is not the native language and I am the only source of English for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering: &lt;a href=&quot;https://ell.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2545/videos-with-lots-of-english-dialogues-for-a-2-3-year-old-child?noredirect=1#comment5068_2545&quot;&gt;meta.ell.stackexchange.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Be careful―children don't generally learn language from television, and allowing more than a couple hours a day of television has been shown to slow language development.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; Children under 2 years old shouldn't be shown television at all. They need real human beings to learn languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.linuxquestions.org/questions/general-10/videos-with-lots-of-english-dialogues-for-a-2-3-year-old-child-4175549791/#post5400733&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;linuxquestions.org&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A child of that age is a sponge for languages, and can learn more than one at a time. But they key is that the child is looking at a person who is speaking the language to him or her, and listening to it being spoken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;A video&quot; is not the same thing. A very young child doesn't associate a picture on a flat device with being a person. S/He doesn't associate that with &quot;speech.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People are different, communities are different but the claim is same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are there any studies about whether children learn the spoken language from the television/podcasts or not?&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering that a reputable website like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/genre/learning&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;BBC has special section for learning English through podcasts&lt;/a&gt;, my question is:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;- &lt;strong&gt;From what age children start learning the spoken language from the television/podcasts?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-16T15:51:35.573" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T06:41:25.137" Title="At what age can children learn a non native language through television/podcasts?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|age-appropriate|language|media|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2015-08-05T11:07:00.803" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21548" CreationDate="2015-08-05T02:07:02.990" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It appears that children don't learn language well from television because they need &lt;em&gt;interaction&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;conversation&lt;/em&gt;. It's not so much that the &amp;quot;picture on a flat device [isn't] a person&amp;quot;, but more that the child doesn't get a response when they try to talk back to the picture. In one study, when children had a conversation over Skype with an adult, they were more responsive to new words than when viewing a pre-recorded adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In subsequent tests, the kids who’d been in a live video chat showed evidence of having learned the new words. They were able, for instance, to recognize new examples of “meeping” (a puppet turning the dial on another, different toy), and their performance was just as good as that of kids who’d been tutored by somebody in the flesh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the kids who’d been in fake conversations didn’t show any sign of learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Quote from a &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/10122013babies-learn-from-real-not-fake-conversations/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;BabyCenter blog post about the study&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdev.12166/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Link to the study&lt;/a&gt; (Roseberry et al., &amp;quot;Skype Me! Socially Contingent Interactions Help Toddlers Learn Language&amp;quot;, &lt;em&gt;Child Development&lt;/em&gt; 2013)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T02:07:02.990" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21550" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21551" CreationDate="2015-08-05T04:37:28.703" Score="6" ViewCount="2520" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Japanese wife was told to bath my 1 week old son every day due to the hot humid summer in Japan even though we run air conditioning most of the time. But he cries right through bath time with warm water. What can we do to make it better? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11975" LastActivityDate="2015-11-04T22:46:44.020" Title="My newborn hates everyday bath time" Tags="|newborn|bathing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21550" CreationDate="2015-08-05T06:54:30.657" Score="6" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Timing.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A hungry, cranky or tired baby won't like bathtime - because it will hate almost everything besides what fulfills his current needs and desires. You need to catch the rare &lt;em&gt;awake and alert&lt;/em&gt; window.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Temperature.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It's not only the temperature of the water (and some babies have their individual preferences, one of mine liked it &lt;em&gt;warmer&lt;/em&gt;, one &lt;em&gt;cooler&lt;/em&gt;), but also the getting into and out of the tub - some hate undressing and the part when the air hits wet skin.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Position.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Some babies detest the position, use something like a &lt;a href=&quot;https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CsWE-i6JhWA&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Tummy Tub&lt;/a&gt; (or frankly, any other largeish bucket), see the linked video on how to use them. I have even &quot;bathed&quot; one of mine laying on his tummy on my hand under the faucet. A good position for those &quot;soiled diaper leaking upwards&quot; accidents...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, bathe rarely, avoid soap etc. and don't bathe before the navel is healed. A washcloth will do for all but the &lt;em&gt;really dirty&lt;/em&gt; cases. For really, really temperature-sensitive babies, you can even half-undress them (e.g. top or bottom half) to wash, then do the other half.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents even bathe &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; their babies because they feel safer in their arms or on their tummy. But baby-temperature feels rather cool to us grownups... And you need a second helper unless you plan on standing there dripping and shivering while you towel off and dress your baby ^_^&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-08-06T04:02:21.363" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T04:02:21.363" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21538" CreationDate="2015-08-05T12:08:43.057" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The childcare has a responsibility to treat your child appropriately and according to your wishes. That said, there may be practical reasons why they need to put him in nappies (hygiene and having to wash the carpets). I've had exactly the same experience with my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every 30 minutes seems far too often, and could easily be off-putting to a small child. At his age a child should be able to go a couple of hours between pees. Could you give them a timetable with certain times of day to take him (times when you know he's likely to need to go), so it's less frequent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think the nappies are undermining his potty progress because he knows he can just pee in them, you could consider getting training pants (underpants with an absorbent layer so a small accident won't make a puddle on the carpet, but they feel like normal underwear and feel wet to him when he leaks). That might be a compromise they can accept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What will the care ratio be in the next room up? They may be even more busy and less able to pay attention to him there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: Have you tried ditching the nappies at night? If he doesn't want them maybe he'll be able to be dry at night, and this will help with consistency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14438" LastEditorUserId="14438" LastEditDate="2015-08-05T13:10:34.147" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T13:10:34.147" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21187" CreationDate="2015-08-05T13:12:20.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Expressed milk is the next best alternative only when breastfeeding is not possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you breastfeed directly, the physical contact with your baby helps your body to create antibodies to germs in his environment, your body creates antibodies in response to cues from the baby's saliva and other secretions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When breastfeeding directly, your body will produce more milk in response to the baby's demand, replaces the milk your baby removes from the breast; it is not possible with expressing milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For expressed milk you need to wash breast pump and bottle parts which involves chemicals - that is not safe for babies. So breast-mouth is better than breast to pump to bottle to mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding directly increases the mother-baby bonding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://nativemothering.com/2012/04/are-there-differences-between-breastfeeding-directly-and-bottle-feeding-expressed-milk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://nativemothering.com/2012/04/are-there-differences-between-breastfeeding-directly-and-bottle-feeding-expressed-milk/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-08-11T07:02:29.107" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T07:02:29.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10783" CreationDate="2015-08-05T13:13:53.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on your specific question, there is no answer that fits all unfortunately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It really depends on what your child is exposed to, what you as a parent do, and what you encourage. These are the three basic foundations for a child liking or disliking some sort of activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter absolutely loves trains, dinosaurs and lego. I don't buy into the answer given by MJ6 on this topic or the general gender stereotypes provided by others in this thread.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17520" LastEditorUserId="17520" LastEditDate="2015-08-19T10:41:00.537" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T10:41:00.537" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21550" CreationDate="2015-08-05T13:15:48.943" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use two washcloths - one to wash him with, and get the other wet and use it to cover whatever part of his body you aren't washing.  This helps keep the baby from feeling cold where the air hits his wet skin.  Every so often, re-wet the washcloth so it stays warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This worked wonders with keeping our newborn daughter happy during her bath.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T13:15:48.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21550" CreationDate="2015-08-05T13:23:02.260" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to bath with my little one and that worked wonderfully. She hated bathing on her own and we weren't the best at bathing her without being in the bath with her. win win! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17520" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T13:23:02.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21560" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-05T13:36:11.737" Score="5" ViewCount="1018" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our personal situation is two boys, ages four and a half and two and a half, although I imagine answers to this question could be generalized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bedtime in our home is usually between 6:30 - 8:00, and often takes that entire time period.  When we are going according to schedule, bedtime consists of reading several books, getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, and then reading more books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our challenge is, that often at around this point it is time for Mr. Dad to go, as he has evening obligations.  This leaves Mrs. Mom with 2 children to put to sleep on her own.  The biggest issue is figuring out what to do with one child while the other is being put to sleep, such that the other child does not prevent the first from going to sleep.  They just recently moved into the same bedroom, in preparation for a new sibling (who we assumed would start off in his/her own room, although that is also negotiable if it would be the best solution to our bedtime dilemma). We do not have any strong feelings about which one should go to bed first - whatever works best is good with us.  Putting them to bed together is also fine, if anyone has a magic way to make that work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So basically, I am asking for strategies to manage bedtime for one parent putting two children, who will talk to each other and play together, to sleep. One important point - we do not own a television and are not interested in gluing either child to a video in order to occupy them during bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17521" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T17:24:36.210" Title="One parent and two children at bedtime" Tags="|bedtime|siblings|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21560" CreationDate="2015-08-05T14:42:01.470" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got two children almost the same age (4 and 2.4), so I feel your pain.  We also have them share a room.  We have one parent take both to bed, though it varies which parent, as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What works for us is to take the children to bed at the same time, excepting unusual circumstances (where one child is tired early).  We've been doing this since the first was 6 months old, so I'm not sure how easy it would be to start &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;, but most of our bedtimes at this point are reasonably manageable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use the two children to play off of each other to some extent to make bedtime more manageable.  We have the standard routine (PJs, brush teeth, potty, stories, bed), with stories very specifically after the other stuff.  If one child is having trouble doing the less fun parts, we encourage him to hurry up as the other will get an extra story if he's done well ahead of time.  They also like to brush teeth together, and now that the younger is starting to potty, they like to potty together, so this can be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they are ready to turn off the lights, we stay in the room with them until they fall asleep - this has always been necessary for our older one, he's very clingy.  This helps keep the younger one from keeping him up (jumping on the bed, etc.).  We play some music and/or sing songs, and sometimes the older one sings songs to the younger one. Then the parent putting them to bed usually just reads a book while they settle down.  It's not always easy - the younger one sometimes can be quite a handful - but it seems easier than doing them separately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One important point: we put our children to bed relatively late compared to other kids, I think; we realized long ago that our older one did much better going to bed starting at 8:30 (PJs at 8:30 asleep by 10 hopefully) than starting earlier.  It might be worth moving bedtime back a little to make it easier, if that turns out to be the case for your children.  Starting bedtime when they're not tired can make it much longer and more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T14:42:01.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21562" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2015-08-05T14:43:28.410" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a saying I've heard a few times that I think is very much on topic here. It goes something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The first few times you try something, you are going to fail at it. Miserably. So you might as well get it over with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted, the original context was game-design and not dating, but I think it applies everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are afraid to let your children into relationships now and try to push back when they start. But what's the worst that can happen when two 10-year olds go on a &quot;date&quot;? It's probably the feeling of heartbreak when it doesn't work out. Which is probably a good thing to get some experience with, because that'll happen a lot more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most likely, they will learn a lot of things about relationship, how to treat people they like, how &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to treat people they like (a very important skill as well), how to gracefully end a relationship (a skill a lot of people seem to lack) and a hundred other invaluable life lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Compare that to a 20-year old going on a first date. They have no experience to spot the difference between a great partner or an abusive bastard. They don't know what level of interest in someone's life is &quot;cute&quot; and which is &quot;stalking&quot;. They won't know the difference between being nice and paying for dinner and being taken advantage of. Worst case, they might not even realise that it's a terrible idea to get married after dating for 3 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Experience is the most valuable thing in a person's life. Don't deny it to your children by restricting them in terms of relationships. Let them screw up dates and get heartbroken while it's still cute and easy (even if it doesn't feel like that for them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or to answer the question: the safest time to let your children get into relationships is last year, because the older they get, the more painful or problematic a break-up can be and the harder they will need that early experience to accept that being dumped isn't the end of the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T14:43:28.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1421" CreationDate="2015-08-05T15:07:02.847" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am going to follow Nikita's post with the following......&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The so called &quot;answer&quot; to this question concerns me. Nikita is correct in stating that teens will rebel, including Pre-Teens. As it stands even if you restrict them, in this age of technology, they will find ways (twitter, facebook, sms, etc) to express their affections and communicate. Lest I go on about sexting etc. NOONE wants to experience the horrors of their children going that far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BUT to fend against that, communication with your child is the key. As stated in the main answer talking to them on how you feel about the relationship and how they should conduct themselves is greatly helpful. In most cases children don't know what to do when faced wit these kind of situations so they look for any guidance they can find and when all else fails bad decisions are made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do think that the &quot;answer&quot; post and many others are VERY restrictive in how dating is done per age group where as they need to be supervised to age 18. I attribute that to being very overprotective. Also it is a side effect of overprotective religions (that is a point for another day). Either way I do agree with that &quot;group dating&quot; idea whereas everyone is having a good time and if things get uncomfortable then there is a way out as in go talk to a friend besides the crush. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But not allowing them to go off on their own with their crush fosters a feeling of trust issues. How can they talk to you about what's going on if you can't give them the space to see what is actually going on. And as Nikita said broken hearts can and will happen and how you react to that for them will be a defining moment in the relationship with your kids. Not making a big deal of it shows you have no support for their feelings. Either way your their parent. And life is about experiences and learning from them. So as a parent in this area of their life all you can do is inform them about safe sex (if you or your religion allows/believes in sex before marriage), give them advice on how to deal with situations they are unsure about and be there for them when their are at their most vulnerable such as a break up or fight. They may seem like small beans to you because of their age but for them its a big deal. And when you have a problem that is a big deal for you don't you feel better when someone can give it as much weight as you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17484" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T15:07:02.847" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21564" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21569" CreationDate="2015-08-05T15:27:13.047" Score="3" ViewCount="362" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sorry in advance for my english, I'm not a native speaker.&#xA;Some background:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got pregnant at 20 years old, while I was at the University. My partner was living back then 400 km away from us, so my oldest kid first years, we lived with my parents and my two bros in a litle town, where everything is near and the life it's not so stressful.&#xA;While I was at classes, my mom takes cares of her, and we spend a lot of time together.&#xA;When she turn 3 years old, I finished my studies, got a job and moved from my parents house, to live with my child's father, 400 kms away from them.&#xA;We travel constantly to visit my parents, like one or two times a month (it's a five hours train trip). They love her to pieces, it's their little monster.&#xA;She's now almost 6 years old, and can't adjust to her new lifestyle. Unfortunately, she haves to spend in the school from 9am to 5pm (I know, it's horrible, but this is how things are in my country) and travel for like one hour to get home. Every time she misses grandparents' home she says: &quot;I don't want to live here, I want to go back to Tita's (grandmother's house)&quot;. Last time she cries a lot. I can't go back to that town (even it's my biggest desire), we -me and my husband- are engineers, and the works available there are horrible and depressing. But she simply can't adjust to the fact...it breaks my heart everytime she says that Tita's house is her home, and the apartment we live is her castle. She never called the apartment home.&#xA;Another &quot;interesting&quot; fact, it's that every time we come back from the town she throws tantrums in a daily basis for like a week or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I deal with this situation? &#xA;We go to therapy, but it wasn't much helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for reading&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I forgot to tell that my daughter when we move, starts to show some signs of anxiety: bruxism, eats when she's bored and bites her nails. This things make me so nervous, because I have Generalized Anxiety Issues and panic attacks, and I don't want my little kid suffer it when she's old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17522" LastEditorUserId="17522" LastEditDate="2015-08-06T12:31:20.410" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T12:31:20.410" Title="How to deal with 5 year-old &quot;homesickeness&quot;?" Tags="|pre-schooler|tantrums|anxiety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12038" CreationDate="2015-08-05T17:57:21.507" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to pinch their noses (not hard!) and that made them let go very fast nd after a few times of that they stopped, realising they couldn't breathe/bite and drink at the same time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14833" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T17:57:21.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21564" CreationDate="2015-08-05T18:00:13.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try using Skype to catch up regularly - we do it once a week with my son's grandparents but you could do it even more often? Also little children who cannot yet write  like to leave voice messages (if you have a smart phone there are some apps likes whats app that let you record messages) for their loved ones. The tantrums are no doubt part of the missing, I'm sorry for you having that situation and for her missing them so much. Hope those ideas help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14833" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T18:00:13.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21567" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-05T18:01:19.207" Score="2" ViewCount="1180" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever we try to feed any liquid to (both of) our 14-month-old twin girls, they cry. This includes milk, water or any kind of liquid. They don't use a bottle anymore, so we are using a spoon to feed them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried various positions like: putting them on their booster seats, making them sleep on our laps. No change; they cry. However, they don't cry when they are fed solids. Is this normal among babies? We are clueless how to control them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions? Should we visit some kind of doctor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17524" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-10T12:18:00.617" LastActivityDate="2019-09-10T12:18:00.617" Title="Why do my 14-month-old twins cry whenever they drink milk or water?" Tags="|toddler|crying|feeding|twins|drinking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21564" CreationDate="2015-08-05T18:34:05.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter was taken away from a safe place and maybe she hasn't yet learned she is still safe and loved.  Try to let her know it is okay to feel the way she does - we can't control our feelings, so validate them.  Let her know you feel the same way and miss that home.  Continue speaking to her about this being your home now.  I'm sure you've already done this.  So, when she reverts back to saying she wants to move back to her grandparents house just let her know you understand.  That is it - I love you honey, I understand.  Hold her, help her get through that moment.  You shouldn't take it personally, you are her emotional rock.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To break it down the most simple way, my answer is to respond to her in a very simple way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand you want to live there, that was a great home.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We live here now.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I love you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything else she says is just her working through accepting the truth of where she is now.  Be patient and steady.  This is preparing you for the harder things to come!  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastEditorUserId="17525" LastEditDate="2015-08-05T20:28:15.723" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T20:28:15.723" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9253" CreationDate="2015-08-05T19:00:14.210" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pray&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Visualize and plan what you'll do before the next feeding!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Read books on parenting or marriage&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Write a note to your husband&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Do 1 arm curls with light weights and switch arms next feeding&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Feed at a table you can work on a puzzle&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-08-05T19:00:14.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21571" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-05T23:37:15.430" Score="1" ViewCount="1633" Body="&lt;p&gt;My now 19 month old daughter was potty trained at 18 months and was going on the potty on her own with no accidents for 3 weeks straight. She would run to the potty when she needed to go without even being reminded which is how i know she knew to go on the potty to pee. then all of a sudden one day she decides she is no longer going to go on the potty. a complete 360. What should i do? I did the potty training technique of running around naked and it worked, should i go back to that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17528" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T11:08:08.283" Title="My daughter was potty trained at 18 months and has now regressed. what can i do?" Tags="|potty-training|potty|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9253" CreationDate="2015-08-06T08:13:43.523" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took a course on EdX while nursing.  It was perfect because it was more engaging than tv, and you get a chance to use your intellectual brain, which is sometimes a bit missed during maternity leave. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-08-06T11:28:35.243" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T11:28:35.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21574" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21571" CreationDate="2015-08-06T11:08:08.283" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is called a 'potty pause' and is extremely common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, you need to rule out physical causes. Is she &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/constipation-and-soiling.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;constipated&lt;/a&gt;? Could she have cystitis or a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Urinary-tract-infection-children/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;urinary tract infection&lt;/a&gt;? If it hurts her to poo or pee she will resist doing so until she can't keep it in any longer. (Constipation can cause pee accidents as well, as the backed-up poo in the rectum will press on the full bladder. If she has a blockage further up, then some liquid poo might get round it and come out on its own.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, has she had a bad experience that has put her off? Perhaps some well-meaning person has been trying to force her on the potty when she didn't want to, or failing to provide a potty when she needed one. Or maybe there's been a big disruptive event (like moving house, a holiday, or a relative arriving/moving out)? These can cause regression in all sorts of areas as the child diverts processing power to dealing with the changes. Once a bit of time has passed and the experience has faded, she should go back to her previous behaviour. In the meantime, try and tempt her back on with a new potty, or a toilet seat adaptor, so the novelty will be exciting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or it could just be that life is too exciting to break off and go to the potty. Go back to potty training – bare bum when you can so she has the feedback of wetting herself, tell her she's peeing when you see her doing it (but don't tell her off – this is known to be counterproductive), and have a potty in every room she uses regularly so that the sight of it will be a reminder and she won't have to go too far. Tempt her to stay on with 'potty toys', things she doesn't have at any other time, or a book. Books about using the potty, or poo in general, are particularly good. My daughter is particularly fond of simple jigsaw puzzles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did she have any sort of signal she used to show that she needed the potty if she couldn't get to one? If not, try and introduce one – a sign or gesture that you always use when you say 'potty' or when she's on one. She might well pick it up and sign it back to you when she needs to go, even if she doesn't make a move towards the potty. Also, look out for non-conscious signals and point them out to her. 'You're standing with your knees bent and jiggling about. That might mean you need to pee. Let's have a try on the potty.'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she already knows how it feels when she needs to go and what to do about it, this stage won't last long. She'll soon get tired of having to interrupt what she's doing to get her wet clothes changed. Just keep talking to her and looking out for signals to help her communicate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14438" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T11:08:08.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21576" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-06T12:28:05.230" Score="8" ViewCount="145135" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter currently can. She is 21 months old. What is a typical age for this milestone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17520" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2019-12-19T17:55:45.157" LastActivityDate="2020-05-05T12:29:09.763" Title="At what age should a child be able to count to 10?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|math|milestones|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21576" CreationDate="2015-08-06T12:49:24.663" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;21 months is pretty spot on, or even a bit earlier than a lot of the kids I've seen.  You don't mention how consistent she is about it (gets them in the correct order every time, doesn't skip numbers), but if she is not only able to count to 10 but not mix them up or skip some, then I think that is great!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a nice article detailing how a child moves from no clue, to memorizing the number sequence, to actually internalizing the concept of numbers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-and-when-should-i-teach-my-child-her-numbers_6899.bc&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-and-when-should-i-teach-my-child-her-numbers_6899.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T12:49:24.663" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21560" CreationDate="2015-08-06T15:15:10.990" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kids (5 and 7) have their own rooms but dislike sleeping alone.  Our recent solution has been to allow &quot;sleepovers&quot; that can be canceled if there are fights, or if one child keeps the other awake.  Assuming the new sibling hasn't arrived yet, this is a solution you can try for at least a little while.  For our kids, the desire to not sleep alone is a strong motivator for good behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T15:15:10.990" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1191" CreationDate="2015-08-06T15:45:54.013" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question seems to assume that the impact is negative, but research is showing the exact opposite. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/15-094_d8f5a62a-3ee6-4ecb-b5e3-5a3d5fdc97b7.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This study&lt;/a&gt; came out just last month showing that a working mother is correlated with positive outcomes for her children across cultures. Adult daughters of working mothers are more likely to be employed, earn higher wages, and hold supervisory positions. Adult sons of working mothers spend more time caregiving than their counterparts whose mothers stayed home full time. These outcomes are beneficial to both the children and to increasing gender equality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T15:45:54.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21560" CreationDate="2015-08-06T17:24:36.210" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consistency is everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have 3 children 10, 7, 5 and bedtime is still difficult.  The youngest 2 really feed of each other and used to share a room.  They no longer do - which has helped.  I'm not really big on that point, I believe a family can adapt to any situation with consistent expectations that are enforced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First you come up with your expectations for bed time.  You will have to adapt some minor things you decide, but the basics should be set.  Example for me is We never lay down with the kids at bed time.  This caused problems and created inconsistency because it is not something we could do every night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, teach them these expectations by not giving in to their wants.  This takes time and much patience.  Your kids are young and when mine were that age more than once we went through a phase of them crying and getting out of bed and me carrying them back to bed while they screamed.  My middle was the worst and one night I did it for 2 hours straight until she passed out.  I never spoke to her (tried not to) except to say this is bedtime and I will talk to you tomorrow morning.  This is a breaking in period where you let them know you are in charge.  They don't like it, but they will still love you afterwards.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, always love them, even when you are enforcing your rules and expectations.  Don't be angry that they want their way (cause you and I do too).  Don't lose your cool because they haven't listened to you in the time frame you expect them to.  Each child is unique but all need love and structure.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have fallen away from our routine a couple times and paid the price.  We're in a very structured format now and the children do GREAT!  We parents do great too, we're all happier with clear expectations.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry I cannot quote and give you the titles of the books I've read and the people I have spoken to with experience themselves, but my advice is not mere random thoughts, it is research and experience wrapped together.  I don't claim it is perfect but it does have value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-08-06T17:24:36.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2015-08-07T01:13:45.770" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little sister's a bit older so wouldn't go for the tape on the window or monster spray. But she loves Disney princesses- particularly Mulan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I showed her how the family lit incense in their shrine while praying to appease the ancestors. I let her know lighting incense is an actual thing people do to stop harmful ghosts.  She's happy with this as because it's real she knows I'm taking her seriously. We're gonna try turning her room lavender scented tomorrow :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope it works. She's convinced evil spirits are knocking on her window because of creepypastas my other sister showed her... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17532" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T01:13:45.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21583" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-07T03:28:46.670" Score="9" ViewCount="2449" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 year old son has always had a bedtime routine and has never had a problem falling asleep. However, during 3rd grade he began stuttering routinely and also began having problems falling asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did find out that he was being bullied by another boy (who happened to stutter).  His teacher did nothing to help with the bullying until I threatened to go to the principal (after 3 complaints). She also told him to save his tears for something really important. His teacher would reprimand my son if he raised his hand to ask a question when she was working with another reading group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was in an advanced reading group which met once a week while two other groups met every single day. He was expected to &quot;figure it out&quot; instead of asking her a question about the work she required to be done by the next time they met. It was after he told me she hated him that I really noticed a change in his sleep patterns. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The stuttering began about three months after the start of school and by the third nine-week period he was no longer able to fall asleep per his usual schedule. Despite the change in his sleep pattern, my son was able to excel both academically and on standardized testing for which he was identified as AIG. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is still stuttering, though we have been working on this ourselves as he has requested that I not take him to a doctor. I haven't been as concerned about the sleep pattern as I am a stay-at-home mom and it's summer break.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School starts in three weeks and I don't know what to do about getting him into a better sleep pattern. Often, 5 nights a week at least, I will find him awake at 1:00 a.m. He will then sleep until 11:30 or later in the morning.  I recognize that he still needs a certain amount of sleep. What can I do to get him back on the pattern he had before the bully and the bad teacher? I've heard about melatonin but am unsure as to whether I want to start giving my son a pill - even if it is safe. Has anyone had success with that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I normally try to have him in bed with lights out at 9:00. He is allowed to play quietly and/or read until then. All screen time ends at or before 8:00 p.m. I just don't know what else to do to get him to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I would also be grateful for any recommendations regarding the stuttering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17533" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-08-07T12:58:53.843" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T13:20:17.590" Title="How can I help my 9 year old son fall asleep and stop stuttering?" Tags="|sleep|speech|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21583" CreationDate="2015-08-07T04:25:51.073" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to have your son assessed by a licensed Speech-Language Pathologist.  It is important that your son gets treatment for his stuttering before the age of 11, regardless of the cause. Studies indicate that after 11 years of age it is much harder to remediate. Keep in mind that 11 is just a typical number based on a standard population. You can find an SLP by looking on ASHA's website (www.asha.org). Your insurance will most likely cover an assessment to understand whether your son has an issue that is substantial enough to warrant intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and my sister are Speech Pathologists and my wife owns a ST clinic. So I have learned a lot about stuttering from them. The comment above is directly from my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the cause for his stuttering and sleep patterns, you should consult with your child's pediatrician. They may recommend a psychologist to help your son deal with the bullying but I have less experience in that area. My kids are still too young to get much bullying yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like this is a difficult issue for your son and you so I hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6678" LastEditorUserId="7656" LastEditDate="2015-08-07T13:20:17.590" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T13:20:17.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21583" CreationDate="2015-08-07T08:04:20.103" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;About the stuttering, like John Yost's comment, you should help your son stop it as soon as possible before he get used to speak like that - then it hard to change, especially when he get older.&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&#xA;About the sleep patterns, maybe get him sleep at 9pm (or a bit later depend on his old bedtime routine) and wake him up at 7am (or a bit later, again depend on his old wake up routine) no matter when he start fall asleep last night. First he may sleepy all day because his lack of sleep, but you can give him quick nap at noon (about an hour then wake him up no matter he want to sleep even &quot;&lt;em&gt;just a bit more time&lt;/em&gt;&quot;). Do it about a week and i hope this will change your son sleep routine again because now he sleep late then wake up late (you say 11:30 or later so it hard for him to fall asleep at 9pm or 10pm - just about 10 hours after his wake up at noon); and maybe some activity make him a bit more tired than quiet play alone or reading book before bedtime?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17363" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T08:04:20.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21586" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21591" CreationDate="2015-08-07T10:34:25.733" Score="3" ViewCount="441" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a girl, currently 3 weeks old. When should we start thinking about any toys for her? Is there any sense for buying any toys for such a young baby? If so, what kind of toys would work best and for what reason?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am aware that her senses and brain are not fully developed yet, still, I have no idea about newborn/infant toys so maybe I am missing something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17530" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2015-08-07T14:29:06.370" LastActivityDate="2018-09-25T09:22:58.440" Title="When to buy first toy and what kind of toys have any sense for newborns? (if any)" Tags="|newborn|toys|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21583" CreationDate="2015-08-07T10:41:22.637" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually you may be asking two separate questions, I will only address the sleep issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Cause&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to look at the situation like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child needs to get X hours of sleep on an average night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You let your child sleep till 11:30&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now suppose that your child appears to need 10 hours of sleep every day, given his average wakeup time you would expect him to fall asleep around 1:30.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this is probably not how it feels to you (the child cant sleep, so fals asleep later, and you then let it wake up later to ensure that it gets enough hours in), but unfortunately this is happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Solution&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds a bit harsh, but you are currently in a cycle that needs to be broken. Find a good wakeup time and consistently wake up your child around this time. Eventually he will be sufficiently tired to fall asleep at a more normal time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may not be comfortable, but my experience is that (based on vacation jetlags of many adults and some children) the process will not take very long, and it is best to make the switch in 1 step rather than gradually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you did this, and after a few weeks note that your child is structurally lacking sleep further action may be required, but either way you should put your child in a normal rythem as soon as possible. After all, pushing his sleep pattern back a few hours as you are currently is NOT a solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17537" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T10:41:22.637" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21583" CreationDate="2015-08-07T12:38:53.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I stutter. I started when I was 5 or 6, around the time my dad became unemployed and we needed to move across the country. I did speech therapy for all of elementary school and part of middle school, until I was no longer improving. I was never cured, but did learn to communicate in a way where my speech impediment isn't obvious in most situation. I'm able to function in a professional setting with only occasionally explaining that I have a speech impediment. If I had had no therapy, my stuttering would've been a barrier to employment as I was very hard to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should see if your school can qualify him for speech therapy if he doesn't want to go to a doctor to get a referral. It will help. It won't be fun for him at first (learning a new way of talking never is), but it will help him for his whole life. I understand your desire to respect all of his wishes, since he had such a rough year, but ignoring a speech issue will hurt him more in the long term than he's able to fully appreciate at his young age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have any advice about sleeping, other than you should talk to your child's doctor before using melatonin. This article indicates it may not be safe for all children (&lt;a href=&quot;http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/supplement/melatonin&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/supplement/melatonin&lt;/a&gt;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7102" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T12:38:53.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21586" CreationDate="2015-08-07T13:24:48.253" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a newborn, she won't be interested in &quot;playing&quot; with toys for awhile yet.  Her favorite thing to look at will be your faces.  Other items that would be interesting for a very young baby are mobiles that have strong, high-contrast patterns on them, or soothers that have lights and music (non-interactive items that she can just look at).  Mirrors are also great. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she is a few months old, she will have more interest in toys.  At this age, I recommend items that are more about sensation than performing an action.  As an example, my daughter's favorite toy (and the first one she paid any attention to) was a butterfly that had crinkly material in it's wings.  Items that require a specific action will probably be beyond her ability at this point.  Rattles and other items that are easy to grasp will help develop her ability to control her hands.  Suspend the toys over her and she can practice batting at them and trying to grab them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she has a bit more muscle control, then she'll be able to start playing with toys that have actions, like push a button to play music.  At this point, anything that is marked for her age will work.  My kids all preferred more open ended toys, like blocks and dolls, that could be played with in multiple ways (and they came up with some interesting ones!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a couple of articles for reference:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/choosing-right-toys-for-right-age?page=3&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/choosing-right-toys-for-right-age?page=3&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.naeyc.org/toys&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.naeyc.org/toys&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T13:24:48.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21590" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21593" CreationDate="2015-08-07T14:38:40.353" Score="2" ViewCount="360" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year-old has developed some anxiety. My first observation came after we moved from my parents house, this is strongly related.&#xA;Since moving I have observed the following symptoms in my child: night bruxism (grinding teeth), nail biting, and shirt sucking/chewing.&#xA;I am extremely concerned about the nail biting, she practically has no nails and she even bites the nail plate. Her little fingers look especially dreadful.&#xA;She has not been able to stop this habit on her own or with my help, even though it causes her pain.&#xA;To date the following attempts have been unsuccessful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Manicuring - with the hope she would not want to bite because her nails looked good.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Incentivizing - designating (using a bandage as a reminder) one nail at a time as &quot;protected&quot; and promising a reward for not biting. With the intention of adding another nail each week.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anti-bite nail polish. This works for her, but not for me. She touches my lips when she's falling asleep (she likes the texturs so that soothes her), and the anti-bite nail.polish was all over my mouth.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Professional help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Substitution (e.g., pencil)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17522" LastEditorUserId="17522" LastEditDate="2015-08-12T04:29:58.903" LastActivityDate="2015-08-12T04:29:58.903" Title="What should I do to help my child break a bad habit?" Tags="|pre-schooler|anxiety|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21586" CreationDate="2015-08-07T14:41:54.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first 'toys' you will want are not things she will play with with her hands, rather things she will look at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants can't see colors very well, and overall can't see anything nearly as well as older children or adults, so things with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/child-rearing-and-development/bright-starts-babys-development-through-interactive-play/playtime-articles/visual-stimulation-newborns&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;very sharp color contrast - at first, black and white only&lt;/a&gt; - with large, uncomplicated patterns are excellent.  This can be as simple as a wall panel near the crib (in her eyesight) that has a large black and white checkered pattern. Crib mobiles in similar patterns are also good at a very young age.  Mirrors are great - get the plastic kind, of course, not glass.  Babies love mirrors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also will want to start &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/development/physical/tummy-time-guide/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;tummy time&lt;/a&gt; around now, if you haven't already.  Until she can hold her head up, a blanket will be just as good as anything else for this, but once she can hold her head up (which my first did around six weeks and my second could essentially from birth) it's nice to have a tummy time mat.  There are many kinds of these, which usually involve some different textures/sounds in the mat itself (so, crunchy foil, squishy gel, etc.) for her to touch and feel/hear, strong bright colors or black and white, and sometimes a gym above the mat (the gym is less valuable at this age).  We even had a musical one (which was essentially a huge piano, with giant &quot;keys&quot; built into the fabric).  Even at six to eight weeks, a baby is able to interact a bit with the mat, which will help make tummy time more enjoyable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as toys that she can actually hold, around &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_developmental-milestones-grasping_6578.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;2 to 3 months&lt;/a&gt; is when grasping becomes possible to develop.  That's probably when you would want to start getting toys of that kind.  Simple rattles and other things she can hold (that are thin and light enough).  Infant-safe stuffed animals.  That sort of thing.  If you are using a daycare or have friends with slightly older children, I highly recommend paying attention to what she likes to play with somewhere that has a lot more toys (daycare, for us); this allows you to pick toys that are appropriate for her simply by seeing what she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T14:41:54.353" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21592" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21594" CreationDate="2015-08-07T14:42:20.163" Score="5" ViewCount="450" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11-year-old son has trouble sleeping alone, because of what he calls &quot;nightmares&quot;. I don't think they are sleeping nightmares, but rather overactive imagination causing frightening thoughts while he's still awake.  His solution is to leave his room and sleep in his brother's room, or with us; when he has company in the room, he is able to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been going on for a couple of years now. At first we thought it was something he'd grow out of, but there's no sign that he is doing so. We have tried to see if there's any particular trauma that initiated this, and there doesn't seem to be anything; nor does he show signs of hiding anything like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was having some stress in his classes when the issues started. He is ADD, and  once we worked with the school to accommodate this, the stress has improved, so that he has seemed reasonably cheerful about school now, while the sleep issues have if anything worsened.  His daily life is reasonably comfortable and stable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried many approaches: Sitting with him until he goes to sleep (then when he wakes up at 2:00 AM he goes to another room); lights on while he sleeps; etc. During the school year we are fairly solid with his bedtime routine, during the summer we are flexible; neither approach makes any difference.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have discussed his fears. He is aware that they are not logical, but that doesn't help.  I believe that his thoughts have an obsessive quality to them so he can't stop them.  During his ADD evaluations, the psychologists noted that he might be at risk of anxiety disorder as well, but that he wasn't in the range where that would be a major concern.  He started Vyvanse during the school year; that didn't affect his sleeping in either direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He plays video games, and we've tried stopping them for a week or two; no effect.  Games and other screen time stops before bedtime, when he's expected to do something quiet (usually reading); that hasn't helped.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is physically very active; even on days when he does lots of physical exertion he doesn't get particularly exhausted. It may be possible to tire him out, but I haven't seen it happen.  Aside from his sleeping he is very healthy and reasonably happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've mentioned this to his pediatrician, who didn't seem particularly concerned. Before we raise it again, are there any suggestions?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17538" LastActivityDate="2017-05-28T20:27:59.563" Title="11-year-old with sleeping problems" Tags="|sleep|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21590" CreationDate="2015-08-07T16:17:23.860" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Biting her nails is only a symptom, so 1, 2, and 3 are not getting to the core issue. Indeed, it is also quite possible that you drawing attention to it is increasing her anxiety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Solution 5 might save the nails, but it doesn't address the anxiety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Solution 4 or some variant of it is the only way to go, addressing the anxiety. Possibly some way of increasing her self-esteem could be the way to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/nail-biting&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Reference&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2015-08-07T19:34:35.633" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T19:34:35.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21592" CreationDate="2015-08-07T17:12:55.073" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children with ADHD often have co-morbid (all that means is that they happen at the same time) conditions, such as OCD; up to 25% of kids with ADHD may have OCD as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very commendable that you're in touch with your child about this and you are understanding and open with him. Your experience would be the same with an adult with OCD as with a child. Adults and adolescents are, indeed, aware that their fears are not logical, but that doesn't help at all. That's because their thoughts are &lt;em&gt;intrusive&lt;/em&gt;; they're unwanted and irrational, but they come anyway. If this is painful for an adult, it is much more so for an adolescent. Furthermore, he may not be telling you about the worst obtrusive thoughts he has because he may be ashamed of them.&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now, let him get comfort where he can find it without judgement (it sounds like you're doing this anyway). An extra bed in his brother's room where he could slip in without waking anyone up is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We've mentioned this to his pediatrician, who didn't seem particularly concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's time now for your pediatrician to take this more seriously. Your son may have or develop some self-esteem issues from his fears; conversely, learning how to handle them himself may improve issues he may have. Make an appointment now to see them. Your son can get &lt;em&gt;a referral&lt;/em&gt; for an adolescent psychologist with experience in treating ADHD and OCD. OCD can be treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which works as well as pharmacologic interventions, if not better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also talk to your son's doctor about perhaps using melatonin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;* People presenting with panic attacks often are reluctant to divulge the nature of their obtrusive thoughts for fear of appearing ridiculous, or worse, criminal. One patient had an intrusive thought that she would intentionally harm her baby by putting them in the clothes dryer. She was afraid if anyone knew this, her baby would be taken away from her. She simply didn't know that this kind of intrusive thought is common, and it didn't mean she wasn't a wonderful mother. Imagine holding something like that in for a couple of years, and you get an idea of how unwelcome intrusive thoughts are.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://jad.sagepub.com/content/early/2008/03/04/1087054708314601.short&quot;&gt;Comorbidity of Psychiatric Disorders and Parental Psychiatric Disorder of ADHD Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-009-0041-8#page-1&quot;&gt;Does ADHD moderate the manifestation of anxiety disorders in children?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=208678&amp;amp;resultclick=1&quot;&gt;Lifetime Prevalence and Age-of-Onset Distributions of DSM-IV Disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796706002816&quot;&gt;Clinical obsessions in obsessive–compulsive patients and obsession-relevant intrusive thoughts in non-clinical, depressed and anxious subjects: Where are the differences?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2007.01875.x/abstract?systemMessage=Wiley+Online+Library+will+have+intermittent+access+on+8th+August+2015+from+10%3A00-16%3A00+BST+%2F+05%3A00-11%3A00+EDT+%2F+17%3A00-23%3A00+SGT+for+essential+maintenance.++Apologies+for+the+inconvenience.&quot;&gt;Meta-analysis of randomized, controlled treatment trials for pediatric obsessive-compulsive disorder&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://jad.sagepub.com/content/19/2/125.abstract&quot;&gt;Canine-Assisted Therapy for Children With ADHD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-08-07T17:18:14.040" LastActivityDate="2015-08-07T17:18:14.040" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21596" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-07T22:07:28.980" Score="5" ViewCount="4031" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Granddaughter told her Dr. and Father she is a lesbian, and asked to talk to a counselor. I'm wondering at this age, do they really know for sure or because they hang with girls who think they are, is it the thing to do at this age with girls because they really don't like boys yet? I realize if she is she is and we all love her the same but there is so much influence on the computer about gays and lesbians and bi-sexuals now. I guess the Counselor will be good to help her through whatever she is feeling now. Wondering if anyone else on this site has any insight to help with what I am feeling. My husband, who is a psychology major told me its not carved in stone that she is, so just let it take its course and whatever she is she will be. Kids experiment with all kinds of things at puberty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17542" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T15:33:10.770" Title="My 11 year old Granddaughter told her Father today shes a lesbian" Tags="|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10480" CreationDate="2015-08-08T02:30:21.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My pediatrician suggested melatonin for the &lt;strong&gt;exact same thing you're going through&lt;/strong&gt;. It is a nightmare. I'm sorry to be able to relate to your frustration. Try melatonin. The gummies do not work. Get the liquid and mix it in with a drink or there are quick dissolve. This seems to help my 2-year-old. There are nights that it doesn't work at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm &lt;strong&gt;trying&lt;/strong&gt; to get rid of the TV an hour before bed. It's hard because that was our routine. He could pick a show. You'll find something that works. Take what you want, leave the rest :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to you and your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17545" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-30T12:28:54.323" LastActivityDate="2019-08-30T12:28:54.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21598" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-08T05:04:09.427" Score="4" ViewCount="949" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not looking for a certain word, but rather a concept or a stage of childhood development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, I'm wondering about that stage when children who are doing something they know they're not supposed to be doing attempt to conceal their activities. This usually results in them giving themselves away by being unusually silent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This stage seems to require children being developed enough to know what's allowed versus disallowed &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; knowing they can conceal things from their parents (or attempt to). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is this stage of early childhood development, or what are the different aspects of development that are required for this behavior? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T19:02:24.343" Title="When children get quiet so you know they're up to something?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21600" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21645" CreationDate="2015-08-08T13:49:05.513" Score="2" ViewCount="527" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder if a newborn can recognize his/her own cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday I did a little &quot;experiment&quot; with my four weeks old daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recorded her cry for a while. Once she was relaxed again, I reproduced it next to her so she could hear it. I did this a couple of times on different moments. Surprisingly, in most of the cases she started to feel a bit anxious and, eventually, started crying again. Stopping the audio relaxed her again within seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I wonder: why did this happen? Is the recognizing her own cry or is the sound itself that alters her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastActivityDate="2015-08-13T20:18:04.810" Title="Do newborns recognize their own cry?" Tags="|behavior|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21601" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21603" CreationDate="2015-08-08T15:55:55.267" Score="2" ViewCount="933" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 11-week-old colicky baby girl. Lately I have found that one of the quickest and most reliable ways to calm her is to enter a dark room, swaddle her, put on a bit of white noise, put her over my shoulder (think burping position) and sing softly directly into her ear. The volume level is lower than normal conversational speaking, but higher than a whisper. Usually the duration is under 10 minutes (often under 5) and once she is calm I move away and continue singing at a conversational volume (e.g. slightly louder) until she falls asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any reason to worry that this could be damaging her ears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastActivityDate="2015-08-08T19:04:20.953" Title="Can singing softly into my baby's ear be harmful?" Tags="|infant|colic|ear|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21596" CreationDate="2015-08-08T16:25:53.447" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Expanding from my comment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe it is very unlikely that she is going to change unless she later determines that she is bisexual rather than a lesbian. It is incredibly hard for someone to &quot;come out&quot; and tell others that they are LGBT. I have only ever told two people that I am bisexual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a nephew and a couple close friends who are gay men. At least three of them have definitively told me they knew she certain in elementary school (a recurring theme is &quot;about the age that most boys start to notice girls, [they] started to notice other boys.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Closer to home, I identified as completely heterosexual until some point late in college. I  had always been interested in girls and have never experimented. I am completely happy and satisfied with my wife. However, I know without question that I am bisexual and I can trace the related feelings at least age 14. I can also state with certainty that media had no impact on me in this regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you need to reach the point that it does not matter to you. The world is finally evolving to the point that she can have a happy and fulfilling life regardless of whether she is lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual. The only thing for you to worry about or so here is to love her completely for who she is. Any feelings that she needs to grow out of this will only serve to weaken that bond or leave her less happy with herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit (to address counselor and parenting thoughts): A counselor to help her explore her feelings and accept herself certainly seems like a reasonable idea as long as it is presented in a way that casts no doubt on acceptance of her (e.g. the counselor should not be viewed as a way to fix her; she needs to know that nothing is wrong with her). That seems doubly true given that she asked to that too a counselor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to parent (and grandparent) reactions, she is still the same person you have all loved all these years. If everyone accepts her, this could help you all grow closer as she is sharing a very personal part of herself. When my nephew came out, the main fears we dealt with as a family were that he would not have as fair and full a life, and that he wouldn't have kids. Things in the world are changing more and more to make the concern about a fair and equal life less of an issue. And the kids concern is much less of an issue than you'd think: not all heterosexual people have kids; similarly, whether through adoption, surrogacy, or other fertilization options, it is very possible for LGBT folks to have children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastEditorUserId="4092" LastEditDate="2015-08-08T19:38:40.943" LastActivityDate="2015-08-08T19:38:40.943" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21601" CreationDate="2015-08-08T19:04:20.953" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may very well be helping her, and it's (probably) very helpful for &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; to have something to do during these stressful times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I presume when you say &quot;directly into her ear&quot;, you mean that her ear is perpendicular to your mouth. If this is the case, you have nothing to worry about. The decibels of her crying are likely to be higher than your singing, and no colicky child ever cried themself into deafness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Noise-induced hearing loss [NIHL] can result from a one-time exposure to a very loud sound (at or above 120 decibels), blast, impulse, or by listening to loud sounds (at or above 85 decibels) over an extended period. The louder the sound, the shorter the time period before hearing damage occurs. - CDC&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normal conversational speech noise level is about 60dB, and will not cause&#xA;NIHL regardless of the duration of exposure. A battery-powered pencil sharpener, coming in at about 71 dB is reaching near to the upper limit of sound that will not cause any damage regardless of duration. (I would qualify this by saying that if you put your ear directly over the noisiest part and keep it there for a year, well, I'd not bet that it wouldn't cause &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; damage at all. I assume, though, that your singing is much less noisy than a pencil sharpener, and much more soothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Premature infants are more susceptible to NIHL than infants born at 38+ weeks, and &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; hearing loss from &lt;strong&gt;continuous&lt;/strong&gt; exposure to sound in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit has been documented, resulting in a call for noise to be 45dB or softer for preemies. Interestingly, &lt;em&gt;in utero&lt;/em&gt; high-level noise exposure has been found to damage hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Much more info can be found here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/noise/signs.htm&quot;&gt;CDC: About Hearing Loss&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/100/4/724.full&quot;&gt;Noise: A Hazard for the Fetus and Newborn&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-08-08T19:04:20.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21607" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-09T05:52:50.220" Score="1" ViewCount="15951" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4-year-old whose younger sibling scratched her on the face, leaving a minor &quot;gouge&quot; mark. It's been a couple of months since the incident, but the mark is still visible; the edges are very slightly raised and the mark is coloured (but has faded).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that being so young the mark will fade as she grows, but is it worth getting the mark cosmetically treated now, so the whole thing can heal as she grows?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By &quot;treated&quot; I'm thinking dermabrasion or laser or something similar (zero research done).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else been in this situation? Were you happy with your decision? How did things turn out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6899" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-06T12:42:48.060" LastActivityDate="2021-05-12T18:21:06.233" Title="Do mild facial scars (from fingernail scratches) on a young child fade?" Tags="|pre-schooler|injury|skin-care|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21610" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21611" CreationDate="2015-08-10T06:23:05.157" Score="1" ViewCount="3331" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to &quot;hook&quot; my child on reading. I had a partial victory with &lt;em&gt;Minecraft for Dummies&lt;/em&gt; (he found it useful) and after talking to him I found out that he may be interested in reading &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starship_Troopers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Starship troopers&lt;/a&gt; by Robert Heinlein.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age is this &lt;strong&gt;book&lt;/strong&gt; (not the movie) safe for a child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By &quot;safe&quot; I mean not too much and not too hard violence, no sex. I'm rereading that book right now to figure it out for myself, but I'd like to hear the opinions of other parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/starship-troopers/user-reviews&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;age ratings&lt;/a&gt; for the movie, but not for the book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user14348" LastActivityDate="2015-08-10T07:09:22.863" Title="What is the minimal age, at which &quot;Starship troopers&quot; the book is safe for a child?" Tags="|books|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-08-21T19:19:17.653" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21610" CreationDate="2015-08-10T07:09:22.863" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem with this question is that there is no definitive answer, and just asking for opinions is a) not necessarily going to help you as all opinions could be correct for that individual, and b) not suitable on the Stack Exchange platform.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I may tell you it is fine for an 11 year old, someone else may be happy giving it to their 8 year old, and someone else may consider it offensive for anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best route is almost certainly the one you have taken - read the book yourself and decide whether you are happy with your child reading it. And if you have concerns, you could read it with them, or encourage them to come to you to ask about any of the more adult themes or to understand the satire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-08-10T07:09:22.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21612" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-10T13:38:32.507" Score="4" ViewCount="3591" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a small-for-his-age 14-month-old who loves the bike trailer and sleeps blissfully in it, or just watches the scenery. So long as I'm pushing it like a pram, and he has no helmet on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the helmet goes on he tugs and twists it until it's over his face then gets enraged. He can be distracted after putting it on and gets used to it. Until he's put in the bike trailer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The helmet pushes his head forward and down when he leans back. He hates that, so he always twists off to the side, slumps over, and lands up wedged in a corner, angry and uncomfortable. Putting something behind him helps a lot, but he still tends to slip over (straps aren't really small enough, etc.) and get uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just discovered that if I wedge him in with panniers on each side he's comfortable as anything, and in fact he promptly went to sleep. I'm not too comfortable doing that regularly though, and it's awkward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So. Any advice on a good way to support a small child in a bike trailer, so they don't easily slip over? He quite likes it when he's supported, but I don't want to use pillows etc. when I can't easily monitor him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do others use? If anything?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6752" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-17T14:16:06.170" LastActivityDate="2018-08-17T14:16:06.170" Title="Safe ways to support slumping 14-month-old in bike trailer?" Tags="|toddler|transport|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10607" CreationDate="2015-08-10T13:39:10.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First my answer then my story.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answer, girls start shaving when they feel the need to due to social pressure or a desire to do so AND when their parents feel it is appropriate.  Just as you don't want to be made fun of as Meg pointed out, you also don't want to overly embrace vanity and place your self worth on looks.  We dress and clean ourselves as a courtesy to others and as a cultural norm.  Shaving is the same.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My story.  My 10 year old daughter started puberty early and has had hairy legs for awhile.  She has been asking to shave but hasn't been horrified or overwhelmed by the fact she has hairy legs.  My wife didn't shave till high school and was against letting my daughter shave at a young age.  I'm also pretty conservative and don't like the cultural focus on the obsessive beautification of women.  However, I felt my daughter had a good grasp on why she wanted to shave her legs and so over the course of a few months we gently prodded my wife in the same direction.  Finally we all agreed it was fine for my daughter to shave her legs.  My wife talked to her about it, spoke about how it didn't affect her value as a person whether she shaved or not and now I have a daughter who shaves her legs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I think generally it depends on each family, but most probably start between  8 and 13.  My added value is to never forget that as a young girl don't let her get defined by her looks - in her own mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-08-10T13:39:10.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21590" CreationDate="2015-08-10T16:32:20.590" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dave has good points, and Nicole you stated it is anxiety in your post - but then asked about nail biting.  Focus on the anxiety and not the nails.  Therapy does address anxiety, but so can you.  There isn't anything abnormal about being sad from leaving a home, and with some effort you can learn how to address it - then with time and patience you can exercise what you've learned.  Paying someone else to do it shouldn't be the first attempt (in my opinion - not that you are doing that).  Love her and let her know her feelings are okay.  Who she is as a person is OK!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-08-10T16:32:20.590" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21615" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21616" CreationDate="2015-08-10T19:14:09.753" Score="2" ViewCount="558" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 9-month-old child. I breastfed him from the very first moment, since we have a 24 weeks maternity leave in my country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is he hates the feeding bottles. I can't leave him with anybody for longer than a couple of hours. He eats a little (except with the daycare staff).&#xA;I've tried soooo many feeding bottles, the only things he does with them is biting them. We tried bottles with multiple kinds of formula, water, natural juice and expressed breast milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17522" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-31T20:17:33.290" LastActivityDate="2018-08-31T20:17:33.290" Title="How can I &quot;train&quot; my 9-month-old to drink from a feeding bottle?" Tags="|infant|bottle-feeding|transition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21615" CreationDate="2015-08-10T20:39:07.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try giving him a sippy cup or a cup with a straw during meal times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really want to continue with bottles, then have someone else give him the bottle - and make sure you are no where to be seen when it's given to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are using formula during the bottle feeding, then try switching out the formula.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17235" LastActivityDate="2015-08-10T20:39:07.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21617" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21619" CreationDate="2015-08-11T00:11:43.070" Score="48" ViewCount="32395" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baby is 2 years 2 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What will happen if we don't stop and at what age should we stop? Why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From: What to Expect The Toddler Years (Arlene Eisenberg, ‎Heidi Murkoff, ‎Sandee Hathaway - 2009)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Even if a child doesn't show any such interest, family nudity could become a problem by age three, when it's believed that some children unconsciously become sexually stimulated by parental nudity, and are confused and embarrassed by these feelings. So it's probably wise to start donning bathrobes and segregating showers by your toddler's third birthday. You can explain such a change by saying, 'Now that you're older, you need to have some privacy, and so do I.'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2018-03-20T15:51:45.940" LastActivityDate="2018-03-20T15:51:45.940" Title="When should parents stop changing clothes in front of children?" Tags="|parents|age-appropriate|privacy|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21617" CreationDate="2015-08-11T09:09:52.050" Score="104" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seeing parents or other adults naked is entirely unconnected to abuse. See any reports on familial abuse (by far the most common type), and more anecdotally, see the lack of systemic abuse in naturist and nudist environments. I'd support Stephie's comment that naturists tend to be very proper about what is and isn't acceptable behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your culture may suggest that nakedness is somehow a bad thing. Mine suggests it is perfectly natural, and I would recommend that being unashamed about your body in front of your children helps to give them a healthy view of their own, whereas being ashamed, or associating nakedness with sex or improper behaviours can only help to propagate that view to your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, as your kids get older they may well reach a point where they may not want to see you, &quot;Ewww - naked parents.&quot; which is fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-08-13T05:06:06.493" LastActivityDate="2015-08-13T05:06:06.493" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21620" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-11T09:32:24.803" Score="9" ViewCount="2952" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm an intelligent and educated woman. I'm currently studying towards a Masters in Neuropsychology. On my reading list are books like 'early life origins of human health and disease' and 'only one chance' which explain the profound ways that the unborn baby is affected by the physical and mental state of the mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I already know the answer to my question 'could I have damaged my unborn baby in the womb?' - the answer is undoubtedly yes, but I guess I just want some reassurance to take the guilt away&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have suffered with mental illness for the past 10 years, since I was 15 years old. I don't want to go into the details, but I have been hospitalized and I have been medication for most of the past decade. I stopped the medication when I got pregnant. I'm still seeing my psychiatrist regularly. I also have a nurse who visits me at home twice a week. Despite this, I have had relapses including physically destructive violent outbursts bordering on psychosis, severe depression to the point where I can't get out of bed to shower or eat, and emotional breakdowns. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17560" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T21:23:02.170" Title="Could I have damaged my unborn baby in the womb?" Tags="|pregnancy|mental-health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21620" CreationDate="2015-08-11T09:57:16.220" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;While you could have damaged your child you also have to remember that crack addicts who continue to abuse drugs while pregnant ultimately manage to produce healthy babies more frequently than you'd expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's likely that chemical or other imbalances that exist in your body may be transferred to your child, but you did not choose them - you were born with them even if they didn't develop straight away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, guilt over the past is something you have to come to terms with no matter what.  Hindsight is always 20/20 and as you learn more and reflect on situations there are endless ways you could have handled situations better that you didn't/couldn't see in the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that it bothers you means you care, and that alone is a good indication that maybe you've done less damage than you think.  You'll have plenty of opportunity to damage the mental state of you child once they're out of the womb too and we all do it unwittingly.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.artofeurope.com/larkin/lar2.htm&quot;&gt;Philip Larkin&lt;/a&gt; covered it pretty well if with a hint of profanity...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T09:57:16.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21596" CreationDate="2015-08-11T13:22:14.170" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to think when any media ever influenced what it was that got me hot n bothered. The answer: never. Is it being depicted as acceptable these days? yes. At that age is the line between &quot;personal attraction&quot; and &quot;sexual attraction&quot; harder to figure out? I think yes. In puberty every feeling is magnified as the hormones hit. She might be lesbian. The issue may be a tangent to what she is willing to talk about, for example she may be in the throws of a huge friend that they feel may reject them, or who they fear is not oriented the same way&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing that is obvious from her conversation is that she has things heavy on her mind, her sexuality being a key one, and wants to talk about them. She may not be giving the full reasons she wants to talk in order to get the door to counseling opened, because she is saying &quot;I need someone who isn't you at this moment&quot;, and that may mean she doesn't feel her parents are equiped to handle whats on her mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short answer: Any time a pubescent asks for a counselor - get them one. Immediately!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as giving insight to help with what you am feeling, that begs the question: What are you feeling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T13:22:14.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21623" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21638" CreationDate="2015-08-11T13:55:10.650" Score="2" ViewCount="507" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler is 2 and half, and has just started to become difficult at bedtimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always given her milk and held her until she goes to sleep. Once she goes off, she usually sleeps very well. However the last 2-3 weeks she no longer wants the milk, and no longer wants to go to sleep. As she is used to being held to go to sleep, if we put her straight into bed she goes mad; shouts, cries and quite quickly makes herself sick. We have never once got her to go to sleep like this. At the moment we are persevering with holding her, despite the struggle to go and play in the sitting room. Eventually she will go to sleep after an hour or two. However it seems like now might be the time to get her (and us) into a better sleeping routine/habit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know we have probably made a rod for our own back, by not tackling this sooner (in terms of helping her go to sleep on her own), but what would be the best way to transition?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is still in her cot bed (which turns in to a bed once we lower the sides). Would it be better to turn it into a bed at the same time as getting her to go to sleep by herself? Or could this be worse?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any other suggestions or ideas on how best to help our daughter go to sleep in her bed, rather than being held?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17564" LastEditorUserId="17564" LastEditDate="2015-08-11T14:00:11.140" LastActivityDate="2015-08-12T21:29:22.327" Title="How to help a toddler go to sleep on their own?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21617" CreationDate="2015-08-11T14:06:07.693" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;Changing clothes in front of your children is not abuse unless you're forcing them to watch or you're doing something else that's inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I definitely agree with Rory Alsop in that it depends on your culture, and that as a parent you should teach your children healthy views on body image, nakedness, sex, and that these things are related but distinct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sort of things depends on other contexts as well.  For example, I would certainly find it odd to be changing clothes with my teenage child at home, but in the context of a public swimming pool all same-sex people change clothes in the same area (north America).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, it depends on culture, but stop when you or your child desires more privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17565" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T14:06:07.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21627" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-11T16:06:58.820" Score="3" ViewCount="193" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for a bank to create sub account checking accounts, preferably with a check cards, for my children. I would like to be able to easily transfer money into these accounts for allowance and payment for chores, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, icing on the cake would be a simplified iPad or iPod application that would allow my children to check their balance and see their transactions. There is a great app called PiggyBot that I used to use to track allowance, but it isn't synced to anything. It would be perfect if this was tied to a real bank account!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17572" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T18:58:57.473" Title="Bank Accounts for Allowance" Tags="|money|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21628" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-11T16:36:49.627" Score="1" ViewCount="254" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two months ago, my 4.5 year old daughter had an illness that caused her to be constipated. At that time, it hurt to go poo.  She has recovered from the illness, but has been afraid of pooping ever since. I have tried all sorts of things: rewards, removal of treats, not talking about it, talking about it, laxatives. She has is just convinced it will hurt even though it is coming out in her knickers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am at my wits end. In September she will hopefully start kinder garden (we live in Bulgaria). But we need to sort this out first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice will be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17573" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-08-15T17:38:29.567" LastActivityDate="2015-08-15T23:57:59.550" Title="My 4 and half year old is scared of going for a poo because of pain" Tags="|pre-schooler|pain|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21615" CreationDate="2015-08-11T18:56:26.460" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are fighting this fight right now, because our exclusively-breastfed-until-now 2-month-old daughter is struggling to gain weight. The standard advice is to try different nipples, different formulas, and have Mom be out of the room or even out of the house. Clearly that works for some people, but it has not worked for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is slowly starting to work is: to do some breastfeeding, then switch to the bottle, then switch back to the other breast, then finish the bottle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are also finding that there is a very fine line between the positions in which she will take the bottle and where she'll just get angry. Being at all tired can also spell doom for the bottle. She wants it slightly warmer than room temperature (do not microwave to warm it). And she requires a lot of calm, with relaxed encouragement and gentle cheek stroking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T18:56:26.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21627" CreationDate="2015-08-11T18:58:57.473" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main things to take into consideration:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some banks offer actual savings accounts in the child's name, while some require them to be custodial accounts (where the parent must sign off on withdrawals).  Those may be called UTMA, UGMA, Custodial, or ITF accounts.  Each have benefits and drawbacks depending on how you want your child to be able to interact with their bank.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Online versus in person.  Some prefer online banks (which tend to give better interest rates, and allow more flexibility with choosing features right for you) while some prefer a physical bank to give your child the feeling of banking.  This may depend in part on your physical location - if you're far from a &quot;good&quot; bank option, go with online.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watch out for fees, particularly monthly maintenance fees.  Find a bank that doesn't charge them for children.  Interest may not be a big deal at this point, but fees are.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're looking for an online bank, most of the big online banks have child savings account options, though they vary significantly in what features they offer.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ally.com/savings-accounts/open-a-child-savings-account-online/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ally&lt;/a&gt; has a UTMA account, for example, while Capital One has both a kids' savings account and a &lt;a href=&quot;https://home.capitalone360.com/teen-checking-account&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Teen Money account&lt;/a&gt; which comes with a debit card.  Find one that has the features you need.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the online banks have very good online app access (though, again, double-check!), and many of the larger in-person banks also have good apps that let you see your transactions.  Chase, Capital One, Discover all have fairly good apps for that purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T18:58:57.473" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21620" CreationDate="2015-08-11T21:23:02.170" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would just second @James Snell's excellent answer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you have passed on a known autosomal dominant genetic condition, there is no predicting the result of your pregnancy. The vast majority of &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more difficult pregnancies turn out just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even taking drugs known to affect a fetus doesn't mean that every fetus will be affected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're feeling enough guilt to be here seeking some reassurance. I hope you find it; you are making amazing sacrifices for the sake of your unborn child, and that already puts him at an advantage, not a disadvantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no doubt that your care and concern to give your child the best life you can will continue after the pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speak to your psychiatrist and to your obstetrician about your deep worry; some of it may be due to your discontinuance of your meds. As @McCann stated, there are people who specialize in this area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about epigenetic effects on your unborn child, don't. There is no guarantee at all that your worry will affect your baby, and the worrying itself won't help either of you. If I might make a suggestion, some daily mindful meditation may help get you to a better place regarding your worry now, and certainly won't hurt the baby! It might even help you to cope with the stresses of being a new parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;May you be blessed with a healthy pregnancy, an easy delivery, and a wonderful baby. (The first and last are the norm; the middle request is a special blessing!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-08-11T21:23:02.170" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21617" CreationDate="2015-08-12T14:50:14.170" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;As Stephie aptly noted, this is highly related to culture. My take on this, though, is a bit different from the above answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your child grows a bit older, around late 3 to 4, she will begin to develop a concept of &lt;em&gt;personal space&lt;/em&gt;.  The concept comes, largely, from seeing how other people around her act. It's a learned concept, but (particularly in countries like the USA, with strong personal space limits) a very common one that she will learn from all of the adults and older children around her.  It's a &lt;a href=&quot;http://msue.anr.msu.edu/news/personal_space_a_social_skill_children_need_and_adults_can_teach&quot;&gt;very important concept to teach&lt;/a&gt;, as part of social behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As part of learning about personal space, it's important to help her by showing her, yourself, how to behave with others in relation to their, and your, personal space.  She's going to learn from your example, and she also needs to learn the different rules that apply with different people. It's not necessarily obvious to a child why it's okay to undress with mommy in her bedroom at night, but not at the playground in the middle of the sandbox. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also important to teach about personal space from the point of view of &lt;em&gt;respecting others' personal space&lt;/em&gt;.  We've all had our preschooler get right in our face when he/she wants our attention, right?  That is something that is learned, as well: where are the boundaries that she needs to respect. You teach her these, in part, both by respecting her personal space as she asks you to, and by asking her to respect your space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of this, then, is having conversations with her about what situations are different and why.  Part, also, is exhibiting them yourself, and being consistent - showing her the rules apply equally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I will add that I'm not mentioning an age here to stop by - or even, that you need to specifically stop changing clothes in front of her - by design.  The point of all of this is to teach her how to act in society; as such, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/05/05/181126380/how-different-cultures-handle-personal-space&quot;&gt;which society you're in makes a huge difference&lt;/a&gt;.  It's certainly possible to teach all of the above without actually stopping changing clothes together.  I suspect it's slightly harder, simply because that is one of the easiest and most common situations to use to teach her.  But I don't think it's necessary: many parents change with their children until the children ask them to stop, which is very common around puberty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the abuse angle mentioned in comments: while again I don't think it's linked directly, making sure your child understands about personal space is a good tool to give her to protect her.  She should understand that it's not appropriate for someone else to touch her private area, nor to touch another person's, and that taking her clothes off is also something that is not appropriate in public or with a stranger. That can certainly be taught without changing your changing routine, but again it also may be &lt;em&gt;easier&lt;/em&gt; for some people to have a consistent rule of &quot;don't be naked around anyone else&quot; rather than &quot;... except Mommy and Daddy&quot;. Consistency is important here more so than the specific rule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-12T14:50:14.170" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15086" CreationDate="2015-08-12T20:28:03.553" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teach your kids the correct names.  If they ever need to communicate something to an adult, the adult may not understand them if they are using an uncommon pet name.  In an example from a foster care training program I attended, they mentioned a little girl who kept telling her teacher about a relative &quot;petting her butterfly&quot;.  If the teacher had understood that &quot;butterfly&quot; was NOT referring to a bug in the yard, that child would have been spared some bad stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-12T20:28:03.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21623" CreationDate="2015-08-12T21:29:22.327" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although it's hard to change the way that you've been putting your child to sleep now that it's such an ingrained habit, it's not too late - you can do it. From when they were tiny, I would let my babies go to sleep in my arms and then I'd put them in bed and that's how they were used to going to sleep too. The way that I transitioned them was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure they have a nice little routine (bath, story etc).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turn the lights off, try to keep noise to a minimum and tell them that it's &quot;sleep time&quot; now.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once they were finished their milk, I'd put them down in bed and sing them a little song. I wouldn't pick them up again because it was time for them to lie down and sleep. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once the song was finished, I'd give them their special cuddling toy, tell them night night and leave. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found that my kids would not sleep if I was there in the room with them (I tried that, it was too exciting). Now, the trouble is that your toddler is used to being held and gets agitated if you leave. I find that my kids get really mad and they flip out if they don't feel that they want to go to sleep so what I'd do is I'd leave them for a minute or so and then go back in and see how they are doing, say goodnight and re-iterate that it's &quot;sleep time&quot;. Then I'd leave them for 2 mins, 5 mins and increase the interval and eventually they'd get the idea and go to sleep. It's pretty much the hardest thing to have to do to hear your baby crying, but it's important for them to get a good sleep every night so that might make you feel better about it. It can be very upsetting and difficult for the parent too so make sure you have your partner there to support you when it gets tough. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another technique you might want to try in your situation, if leaving her is too much to start with, is have a story with her in your arms, and make sure she gets a good amount of cuddling before bed, then put her into bed. Instead of holding her, perhaps just try holding her hand, and then transition to a little bit further away gradually - first by being in a chair or something nearby, then move the chair further away and eventually out the door. If you hold her hand, you can stay with her but she will learn to go to sleep on her own. She's already two and a half so she understands quite a lot, so tell her that you're going to put her into bed and that you'll stay with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a side note, I see there that you are thinking of putting her in a &quot;big girl bed&quot; (cot with a low side). I think you'd be crazy to try that at this stage. My experience with that is the minute you remove the side, they start running out of bed to come and see you instead of staying put. My daughter (almost 2 1/2 yrs) cannot be trusted to do that at all yet but she is usually pretty good about lying down to go to sleep under normal circumstances in her cot bed. My older daughter (who is two years older) did the same thing and it took until she was about three before she'd stay there at night. She still has her moments to this day about staying in bed but I usually give her a toy to play with and she just falls asleep playing, and I have no problem with that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17590" LastActivityDate="2015-08-12T21:29:22.327" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21465" CreationDate="2015-08-13T12:26:20.557" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two children with special needs and both have speech and Language difficulties.  We moved from the UK to abroad and our children not only picked up the language but one of them retained their English so is bilingual.  The other one is actually able to understand English just prefers to speak in the other language which he of course hears all day every day in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Out of interest I spent many years helping parents with special needs children get what they want from the Authorities in the UK and if anything you need to be forceful and go with reports to get the amount of therapy he might need to have in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you success in whatever decision you make&#xA;Sue&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17581" LastActivityDate="2015-08-13T12:26:20.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6815" CreationDate="2015-08-13T13:30:09.117" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, there is no special diet to follow for the nursing mothers if their eating habits are healthy. There is no particular food to avoid. But sometimes babies will be fussy at the breast after eating a particular food; you need to avoid such foods for few days and re-introduce them to confirm whether there’s an effect.  Still there are certain foods you need to pay more attention, they affect the milk supply, might cause problems in babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Caffeine&lt;/strong&gt;:  One or two cups of coffee daily is good but too much caffeine may lead to irritation, crankiness or sleeplessness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Alcohol&lt;/strong&gt;:  It is okay to have an occasional alcoholic drink but heavier doses of alcohol can cause serious side effects in baby and recent studies (Mennella &amp;amp; Beauchamp 1991, 1993; Mennella 1997, 1999) say that alcohol reduces milk supply, 23% of milk volume decreases with one drink.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Gas-Inducing Foods&lt;/strong&gt;: You need to avoid gas-producing foods like cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, onion, kidney beans and peppers. If a mother takes it, then baby can develop gas related problems like bloating and stomach disorders.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Spicy Foods&lt;/strong&gt;:  Avoid hot sauces, spicy peppers, garlic, cinnamon and other spicy meals otherwise baby will be fussy or cranky after “spicy” breastfeed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dairy Products&lt;/strong&gt;: If your baby appears colic and starts vomiting when you eat products like yogurt or cheese then avoid having it. Other symptoms like stomach upset, eczema and sleeplessness also include. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Citrus Fruits&lt;/strong&gt;: Avoid fruits like oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruits and their juices because the acid present in those citrus fruits can cause crankiness or diaper rash in babies.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that all these foods can be taken in moderation.  You can find more detailed info @ &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/foods-to-avoid-while-breastfeeding_002898/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.momjunction.com/articles/foods-to-avoid-while-breastfeeding_002898/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_are-there-any-foods-not-to-eat-while-breastfeeding_8906.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/404_are-there-any-foods-not-to-eat-while-breastfeeding_8906.bc&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;References:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;MENNELLA, J. A. The human infant s suckling responses to the flavor of alcohol in mother s milk. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research 21: 581 585, 1997.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;MENNELLA, J. A. The transfer of alcohol to human milk: Sensory implications and effects on mother-infant interaction. In: Hannigan J. H. ; Spear, N. ; Spear, L. ; and Goodlett, C. R. , eds. Alcohol and Alcoholism: Brain and Development . New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc. , 1999. pp. 177 198.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;MENNELLA, J. A. , AND BEAUCHAMP, G. K. The transfer of alcohol to human milk: Effects on flavor and the infant' s behavior. New England Journal of Medicine 325: 981 985, 1991.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;MENNELLA, J. A. , AND BEAUCHAMP, G. K. Beer, breast feeding and folklore. Developmental Psycho-biology 26: 459 466, 1993.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastEditorUserId="16714" LastEditDate="2015-08-14T07:56:10.817" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T07:56:10.817" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21596" CreationDate="2015-08-13T15:25:28.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;yes she is probably either a lesbian, or at minimum bisexual, though you can't know for certain yet.  She isn't really old enough to have explored her sexuality too much, so there is a small chance she may not yet fully understand her own desires.  Still, she is old enough that she probably has a good idea about this by now, so I would listen to her and presume she probably knows what she is talking about, unless she tells you she feels differently otherwise.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a chance she may grow to be more bisexual then lesbian. It's not uncommon, even for adults, to think that attraction to the same sex means you &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; be gay/lesbian and that there is no middle ground like bisexual.  With children as young as 11 the idea of more complex attractions then a Boolean male/female are allowed can be confusing.  Thus as she grows older she may develop a more complex and nuanced understanding of her sexuality that allows for some middle ground.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance I have a lesbian friend who is now married to a man.  When she met him he was female, but the got married well after his transition.  She still identifies as lesbian, but she is attracted to her husband anyways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to your reaction, well treat her like you always did.  Her sexuality doesn't really effect anything about who she is, other then perhaps the need to be more careful with how dating rules are defined (most parents set rules that presume boys=dates and girls=friends.  With girls being both potential friends and potential dates you need to better clarify what is allowed with a girl-as-friend and what changes for girl-as-potential-date.  For instance slumber parties with your female friends may be allowed, but if one of those friends is someone she is dating the rules may become more strict).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;one thing I would stress &lt;em&gt;DO NOT&lt;/em&gt; act as if you don't believe her or she will 'grow out of' being a lesbian.  Sure there is a (small!) chance she will change her mind later, but odds are she knows herself well enough to know her own desires.  Acting as if she will grow out of it implies that lesbianism is somehow something 'wrong' your waiting for her to realize.  You need to support her in whatever she tells you to avoid stigmatizing her desires and making her feel that there is something wrong about her.  Besides, even ignoring the risk of accidentally stigmatizing her, telling her she may 'grow out of it' implies you don't trust her to know her own interests yet; it comes across as your not listening to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, I wouldn't pester her about her sexuality too much either way.  You don't want to imply she will grow out of it, but at the same time trying to write her into a 'just a lesbian' role isn't perfect either.  People actual sexuality is too complex to be painted into direct roles.  I would simply tell her she can date whoever she wants (well, sex wise, you can still ban drug addicts and anyone over 20).  If one day she expresses an interest in dating a girl in her class then give her advice on how to ask the girl out like you would with a boy.  If another day she seems to be attracted to a boy then give her the same advice; don't act as if being attracted to the boy is better, but also don't tease her about being attracted to someone other then another girl.  Even in the LGBT community many people who are predisposed to be bisexual will declare themselves as gay or lesbian because they feel stigmatized and forced to 'pick' one sex over the other, which you don't want to do.  Just support her in whoever she finds herself attracted to, don't make her assign labels to that attraction or shoe-horn herself to any group of people as potential dates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one thing I find odd is that she wanted to speak to a consular.  Of course let her do that and encourage it, but it makes me wonder &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she feels the need.  In an ideal her telling you she was a lesbian should be a simple declaration of preference, no different then her saying she prefers to date someone with blond hair or who is of a certain height etc.  I know we are not in that ideal world yet, but my point is that her saying she needs to speak to a counselor may suggest she has reservations or fears about coming out.  She may need some extra encouragement and support if she is having concerns like this.  I would suggest sitting down with her yourself to figure out what she is feeling, why she wanted a counselor, and seeing if there are any fears she has about coming out.  That way your be able to reassure her, and help her to cope with any concerns she may have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13387" LastActivityDate="2015-08-13T15:25:28.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21469" CreationDate="2015-08-13T17:48:38.777" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;the last time this happened to me i called my mother on the phone.  just having her presence helped the soul-wrenching that his crying causes me and i was able to focus on the road and tune him out.  i couldn't hear her very well over speakerphone with him screaming, but just knowing she was there, singing old macdonald with me to try to calm him, left a large portion of brain calm and free to drive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17599" LastActivityDate="2015-08-13T17:48:38.777" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21596" CreationDate="2015-08-13T19:23:22.393" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have gotten a lot of great information from the other responders. I wonder if I can help you with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Wondering if anyone else on this site has any insight to help with what I am feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have our own sometimes very strongly held beliefs and value systems, and we want to pass these on to our children. The majority of parents actually try to do this (as did I). And then something happens that causes us to realize our child no longer holds the same beliefs as we do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't really matter what the belief is. The truth is that we feel a sense of profound loss, among other things. Loss of shared values, loss of a certain imagined future with the child, loss of self-esteem wondering if we did something wrong, whatever. We do feel lost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The whole religious thing aside, this is no different than any other departure from your value/belief system, so try to see it that way. Your daughter is still the same person you loved before you found this out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of your fear may come from a misconception, e.g. she'll never have the wedding I always imagined for her/she wont have children/she'll be an outcast/it will be harder for her to find a partner, etc. The way to fight this battle is to look around at what's happening in the world today; it's hard to miss. You just have more reason to pay attention to it. Your worries may be groundless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other part of dealing with your feelings is that some of them may well involve worry about what is not happening now, again: &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We plan for the future, we remember the past, but all we really have is &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;. You may die in a week. She may die in a week. We all may die in a week. She may marry the most incredible woman you ever met. She may have four children. Would you consider your worries a waste of time if any of those were the case? If so, then stop worrying and start choosing to live in the now. This time is all you're guaranteed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people need a good therapist to work out the myriad feelings you may be facing. If you think you can't do this on your own, find one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote class=&quot;spoiler&quot;&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt; &lt;sub&gt;In 1785, the great Scot poet Robert Burns wrote about the blessing it is to live in the now. A gentleman farmer, he accidentally turned up a mouse's den while plowing in autumn. His poem is all about the serious problems she faces now because of his actions, yet the last stanza, the best, states a problem with the human condition: &quot;Still, &lt;em&gt;thou art blest, compar'd wi' me!/ The present only toucheth thee&lt;/em&gt;:/ But Och! I backward cast my e'e,/ On prospects drear!/ An' forward, tho' I canna see,/ I guess an' fear!&quot;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-08-13T19:23:22.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21600" CreationDate="2015-08-13T20:18:04.810" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Studies show that newborns are discriminating. They can tell the difference between the sounds of&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;•  &lt;strong&gt;their own cries&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;•  the cries of other newborns, and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;•  the cries of older babies&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And newborns are more likely to cry only if they hear the cries of other newborns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/newborns-and-the-social-world.html#sthash.5ExiswHl.dpuf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Source here&lt;/a&gt; (See the section titled &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;Newborn babies show empathy...and a sense of self ?&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The experiment cited in this article is quite similar to the one you performed. So it seems that newborns are in fact actually able to recognized their own crying (or I should say that the researchers concluded that babies cry less often when exposed to their own recorded crying as opposed to recorded cryings of other newborns).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11753" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-08-13T20:18:04.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21646" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-14T06:12:50.540" Score="8" ViewCount="9579" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What can a teenager (or their parents) do when they very strongly refuse to change in a school locker room?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are plenty of families and students that feel they should not undress in a somewhat public space, for reasons such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Religious beliefs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Personal values&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Anxiety or mental health issues&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Physical issues or impairments&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do they manage?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Policies and expectations may be different in different schools and different areas, but answers that apply to your experience with your local school district are encouraged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answers should preferably not be limited to only suggestions to remove the child from the school or class. Often that's not viable, and it also does not help address the problem, it simply removes or moves it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-15T23:53:32.680" LastActivityDate="2018-04-05T04:04:54.140" Title="How can a teenager avoid changing in a school locker room?" Tags="|teen|school|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21469" CreationDate="2015-08-14T06:29:45.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7 month old baby girl and the thing that helped the most for us, besides having someone sit in the back with her, is to have one of those mirrors mounted on the headrest of the back seat so I can see her face in my rear view mirror. This eases my anxiety about driving with her and I'm not sure if it will help you but I did not see it mentioned here so I thought I would put it out there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17558" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T06:29:45.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21648" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-14T11:07:18.803" Score="4" ViewCount="27903" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes around dinner my 21 month old toddler will eat reasonably well, and we don't try to force him to eat if he doesn't want anymore.  He loves fruits, grains and meats and seems to tolerate vegetables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We will let him down from his chair when he starts playing with his food, or throwing it at the dog, that is generally when he is not hungry anymore.  We usually keep his plate up on the counter though because he doesn't always eat everything and 10 to 30 minutes later he will often try to reach for it because he would like another bite.  When we give the other bite, he will just kind of let it sit in his mouth and he won't swallow it, sometimes for a half hour or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried convincing him to swallow, giving him water or juice, bribing with a cookie, convincing to spit it out into our hands, he just doesn't seem to want to.  I am not sure if it is a burgeoning rebellion in him but when we ask him to do something like this he gets this devious smile and joyfully tells us &quot;NO&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is concerning for me and I press it because he plays very rough and I am afraid he will choke on it.  Thank god this hasn't happened yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have also tried timeout but when I put him in his timeout chair he breaks down into a complete tantrum with wildly throwing his body back into his chair further increasing the risk he is going to choke.  The last time I did this he begrudgingly swallowed but then gagged and threw up everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this behavior normal?  Do you have any advice or suggestions to help with this situation?  I don't want to not feed my child when they ask me for food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4190" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T14:36:42.343" Title="Toddler won't swallow or spit out food sometimes" Tags="|toddler|food|tantrums|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21649" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-14T11:54:20.067" Score="3" ViewCount="3136" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 7 years old and we often feed her meat about 15-17 meals per week (out of 21). However, I am concerned that we are giving her meat too often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that there maybe guidelines for both quantity and frequency (e.g., do not give the entire weekly allotment of meat in a single serving or perhaps have at least one day per week without red meat or without any meat, etc.). So, I am wondering, what standards are there (for a 7 year old) for how much meat to give them and how frequently to give it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4174" LastActivityDate="2017-01-03T06:48:21.180" Title="Recommended quantity / frequency of meat for 7 year old" Tags="|food|diet|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21649" CreationDate="2015-08-14T13:49:35.397" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The recommendations on how much of a particular food group should be included in a healthy diet give amounts per day, and aren't so concerned about which meals each item is included in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on which set of guidelines you look at, a seven year old girl should be getting 3-5 ounces of lean proteins a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a couple of links to charts that break down amounts of the different food groups for age and gender.  The chart from the American Heart Association is a bit more restrictive on protein than the Mayo Clinic one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;American Heart Association, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/Dietary-Recommendations-for-Healthy-Children_UCM_303886_Article.jsp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dietary Recommendations for Healthy Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mayo Clinic, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/nutrition-for-kids/art-20049335&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Nutrition for kids: Guidelines for a healthy diet&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-14T13:56:54.480" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T13:56:54.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21649" CreationDate="2015-08-14T13:56:14.950" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Meat, in and of itself, isn't something that you must eat any particular amount of.  Many people are quite successful vegetarians and vegans, even as children, and on the other side of things, well, many children have meat-centric meals at least as much as you describe with no ill effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important consideration is the diet as a whole, and what effect meat has on that.  The kind of meat, in particular, matters; eating skinless chicken breasts you're eating nearly entirely protein, zero fat or close to it.  Eating a breakfast (pork) sausage on the other hand is a huge amount of fat, mostly saturated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children's needs aren't all that different from adult's needs, except that there are some things that may benefit them in their development (although most things like that are speculative still).  Fish (particularly cold water fish) for example is supposed to help with brain development because of some of the fats in it.  In general, though, ensuring your child is active and eating a normal amount of calories with a balance of protein, fat (some, not none!), and vitamins is what is important.  If she chooses (or you choose for her) to get that protein through meat, then that's fine, so long as it doesn't mean she's eating a huge amount of fat along with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're looking for some specific guidelines to make this easier, look around; there are many good references out there.  Some examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/nutrition-for-kids/art-20049335&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic Guidelines&lt;/a&gt; are a good place to start.  For a girl at seven, she should be eating 1200-1800 calories, with 3-5 ounces (85-140g) protein-containing foods per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/nutrition/Pages/Childhood-Nutrition.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;HealthyChildren.org's guidelines&lt;/a&gt; recommend 3-4 ounces (85-115g) of meat and beans per day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The USDA's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.choosemyplate.gov/tools-daily-food-plans&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Choose My Plate&lt;/a&gt; site recommends for a 6-8 year old eating 1400 calories per day, 4 ounces of protein foods as well.  They also recommend at most 4 ounces of oils (=fats) per day (115g).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T13:56:14.950" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21648" CreationDate="2015-08-14T14:13:57.813" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if the behavior is &quot;normal&quot;, but it's certainly something I've heard of before (though not something my kids have done).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's probably largely what you say - a small rebellion.  Children around two are learning that they have some control over things, and they like seeing what that entails.  One of the things he has control over is eating - and swallowing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see several good ways to deal with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;While he's in his highchair, ask him to finish his bite before he gets down.  If he says &quot;No&quot; or ignores you, explain to him why you need him to do it - specifically, that you don't want him to choke.  If he's sufficiently verbal to explain why he is doing it - ask!  Maybe he likes the texture in his mouth, or maybe he likes the taste.  Perhaps see if you can find a compromise - maybe a food that isn't a choking hazard you allow (ie, something squishy that will dissolve).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allow him to leave the table with food in his mouth, but restrict his activities.  If it's something that he really wants to do, fine, but no roughhousing or running around: only very quiet, sitting activities, until his mouth is empty.  Again, explain to him &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; here: authoritarianism is all well and good, but a child who knows why he shouldn't do something won't do it when you're not watching.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give him a drink at the end of every meal that is something he enjoys (milk, for my kids, would do fine here).  Since he can't drink without swallowing, you have him good to go.  Remove the food from the table before he has his drink.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know that time-outs are likely to be particularly effective here, because this isn't something that's coming from him being out of control.  They might work simply as a way of getting him into a calm, unlikely to cause chocking state, but it sounds like that's not true.  Time outs also are much less effective before three years old, so that may be part of the problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if a few days of calmly explaining why it's dangerous for him don't do the trick by itself; he's old enough to understand danger, and I'm sure he's had mild choking incidents before to have a reference point.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T14:13:57.813" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21646" CreationDate="2015-08-14T14:19:31.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your question sounds like you want to find a way to help the teenager accomplish the goal of privacy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Editing my wording to better reflect my intent and meaning:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Go and talk to the teacher in charge in a 1 on 1 meeting.  This will show them that it is important to you.  Express your viewpoint about nudity and how you'd like their help in the matter.  Ask if there is anything that can be done and how appreciative you'd be for their help in this matter.  Chances are good they will have a viable option.  If they don't you can always go to administration but I'd personally evaluate the benefits of that route vs the potential conflict with my child's teacher that may occur.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Since you have to ask for someone else to allow your request there is a chance they will say no.  I just want to encourage you in that possible outcome that there is good reason to still feel okay about the whole thing.  The older I get the more I realize I don't control very much in my life.  I think it is okay for me that I can't control my own life circumstances very well and I have learned to adapt.  I want to share from my life experience that I think you (and the kid) will also be okay in this instance &lt;strong&gt;IF&lt;/strong&gt; you don't get the privacy desired.  You own testimony showed you made it through ok.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All I intended to do was encourage you in the event you got a bad response.  Clearly a number of people read my choice of words as belittling which was not my intent.  In my mind I was giving a mini pep-talk with the intention of saying &quot;keep your chin up, keep marching on!  Things are gonna work out for you in the long run!  Even if you lose this matchup you've got a lot of winning to look forward to!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly, I couldn't sleep well with all the misunderstanding of my intent.  I hope this clears up my meaning and shows I only tried to be encouraging.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&#xA;As for &lt;a href=&quot;http://definitions.uslegal.com/r/religious-belief/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;religious belief&lt;/a&gt; the definition of such in the United States is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Religious belief is &quot;not merely a matter of personal preference, but&#xA;  one of deep religious conviction, shared by an organized group, and&#xA;  intimately related to daily living.&quot; United States EEOC v. IBP, Inc.,&#xA;  824 F. Supp. 147, 150 (C.D. Ill. 1993)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastEditorUserId="17525" LastEditDate="2015-08-15T14:39:50.577" LastActivityDate="2015-08-15T14:39:50.577" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20887" CreationDate="2015-08-14T15:22:13.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a kid from parents living abroad. Anecdotally, I myself forgot my parents language. My nephew moved to another country 10 years ago at age of 8 and now cannot speak his native language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter will speak French PERIOD, since it's what she will listen at daycare, school and friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Letting her be exposed to other languages at early age is not that good because:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you don't keep speaking with her every day she will forget it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She can develop some diction issues and will need a phonoaudiologist help as she grows up&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you and you wife to speak in French ONLY at home.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In time as your daughter grows she will speak French better than you both and she will even help your wife to get more confident on French.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course as she grows up and achieves fluency in French and demonstrates interest, you can teach her another language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11867" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-14T16:34:38.540" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T16:34:38.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21655" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21648" CreationDate="2015-08-14T15:59:28.880" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few possible causes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It may be that your son likes the taste or texture of dinner, even though he is not hungry, and therefore he chews on the food but isn't really motivated to swallow.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It may be a control issue: he's essentially saying &lt;em&gt;I don't have to swallow and you can't make me&lt;/em&gt;, and that grin definitely points (at least in part) to him declaring control over his own bodily functions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally, I knew an adopted child who tended to hold food in her mouth around the same age; her parents' explanation for it was a scarcity of food when she was very young (in an orphanage) and so she'd &quot;save&quot; some for later. It's unlikely this is the reason your son doesn't want to swallow, but illustrates that wanting control over when food is eaten can be a strong motivator.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's possible there is a minor physiological problem with his chewing or swallowing, and so it's worth mentioning the behavior to your pediatrician (see below).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever the cause or motivation, carrying food around in his mouth isn't particularly safe — as you noted, it's a potential choking hazard. A useful principle to keep in mind here is &lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the division of responsibility in feeding&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The parent is responsible for &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;where&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  The child is responsible for &lt;em&gt;how much&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;whether&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most relevant to this situation is the &lt;em&gt;where&lt;/em&gt;. There are lots of reasons a parent can dictate &lt;em&gt;where&lt;/em&gt; — hygiene, clean floors, keeping the dog from stealing food out of the child's hand, and of course safety. If he really doesn't want to stay at the table while chewing and swallowing, it is very unlikely he's really hungry (&lt;em&gt;or&lt;/em&gt;, swallowing is harder than usual).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;I'm glad you liked your dinner, you can definitely have another serving! Let's &lt;strong&gt;sit back down at the table&lt;/strong&gt; where you are supposed to eat.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;I understand you're not hungry anymore and you're ready to go play, but you need to &lt;strong&gt;swallow your last bite before you leave the table&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;A bit more detail about why consulting the pediatrician can be helpful, just to rule out physiological causes:&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Children who pocket&#xA;  food should be checked out by an occupational and speech therapist,&#xA;  even if they have had no other type of therapies or been diagnosed&#xA;  with any medical conditions... those&#xA;  specialists can make sure there are no other problems, such as&#xA;  difficulty moving food around in their mouth with their tongue or if&#xA;  the tongue is weak. These children can usually be cured with basic&#xA;  therapy exercises to overcome these obstacles. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.checkupnewsroom.com/some-children-hold-food-in-their-mouths-why&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Source&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;discuss your child's feeding behavior with your pediatrician to rule&#xA;  out a chewing or swallowing problem that needs intervention from a&#xA;  trained feeding expert. Although hoarding food in his mouth every now&#xA;  and then may not be cause for concern, doing it for too long can&#xA;  increase choking risk or have other adverse nutritional and health&#xA;  consequences if the behavior persists. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/advice/toddlers-preschoolers/toddler-feeding-and-nutrition/how-do-i-get-my-child-to-stop-hoarding-food-in-his-cheeks-and-try-new-foods/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Source&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T15:59:28.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21646" CreationDate="2015-08-14T18:28:08.507" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's unclear to me based on the question whether this is a defined religious belief (as would be explicitly protected by the first amendment and federal law), or if this is a belief that is not so protected.  Jurisdiction (including country of course) would have a lot to say exactly where the line there is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is based on a religious belief, or something that is protected equivalently to one in your jurisdiction, your school is &lt;a href=&quot;http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2012-08-18/religion-schools/57127692/1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;required to provide &quot;reasonable accommodations&quot;&lt;/a&gt;.  That doesn't mean 100% freedom to do literally anything, but it does mean the school has to help out if it's reasonable to do so.  In this case, it sounds like it is - it's not all that hard to allow a student to change in another room, after all, or to change before/after the rest of the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's not a religious belief, or something equivalently protected in your jurisdiction, you may nonetheless be able to achieve the same result from the school simply by asking.  In fact, assuming you don't want to go to court over this, odds are you'll end up with about the same level of difficulty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are quite a few helpful guides out on the 'net to how to ask a school for a religious accommodation.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.soundvision.com/article/how-to-get-religious-accommodation-in-the-public-school-system-a-6-step-guide&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;SoundVision's guide&lt;/a&gt; is a good one, for example.  It boils down to asking nicely, finding a teacher (or other staff member) who is sympathetic - even if not the directly relevant one - and thus can argue your side of things for you, and then asking several times if necessary.  As long as you're polite about it, and asking for a very reasonable accommodation, odds are you'll get it - it's easier to do that than to fight the bad PR they'll get if you go onto facebook, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to consider, though, is (as you note above) the fact that no matter what you do, you will be acting differently than your peers, and as a result it is inevitable that some teasing arises. I don't think there's any solution that avoids teasing entirely; it sounds like your solution to that (ignoring the teasing) worked well, though of course that only works for those who can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The least-likely-to-attract-teasing solution is probably to see if you can accomplish the gym requirement through a sports team, which is not impossible in some schools (and is, in fact, common); it's unclear what your desire in the question to avoid removing the child from class comes from, but if it's simply from the desire to still have good physical education this is probably just as good (or better).  Yes, you'll still have some form of the same issue; but teammates are more likely to be sympathetic than classmates, and a coach might be more willing to make accommodations - or you can 'shop' for one that is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-08-14T22:51:33.967" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T22:51:33.967" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21646" CreationDate="2015-08-14T18:48:15.843" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe in changing or removing clothes in front of others, with a few exceptions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This caused me problems in high school, because my physical education (gym) classes required a specific PE uniform (school branded shorts and T-shirt, not just a dress code). I refused to undress in order to change clothes, and there were no private places to change provided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My solution was to wear my shorts underneath my pants for the day, and to wear the t-shirt for the whole day or underneath my normal shirt.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This, of course, was socially unusual and was a point of some typical teasing around the beginning of each semester. (It usually stopped because I gave no reaction and they adjusted to the fact that I did it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I did was not a perfect solution, as I was often uncomfortable wearing extra layers, especially during hot months. Adding an extra dimension to my social weirdness also didn't do me any favors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother also had the same issue and tried my solution, and was less resistant to the teasing, and so he sacrificed greater anxiety (changing in front of others) for a lesser anxiety (being teased). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your school has a less formal gym class dress requirement than mine did, I would recommend purchasing appropriate clothes that your teen likes that they could wear for the entire school day, or at least until the after their gym period (when they may have more time to change in a restroom afterwards). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In cold weather months, this may mean they need to wear an extra layer over their clothes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another user had suggested in comments to wear an undershirt, which I also think is a great idea for dealing with changing tops. It's easy, affordable, and they make tops specifically designed to be worn under shirts during athletic activities. In my day, we didn't have &quot;Under Armour&quot; or similar brands, but we could have used plain white T's or tank tops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-08-14T18:48:15.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21660" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21664" CreationDate="2015-08-15T01:30:34.190" Score="-1" ViewCount="779" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not a 'now and again' occurrence. This is each day. She is highly active throughout the day and very rarely spends time in the house, we are always out doing activities. On the rare occasion I do put her to sleep at 8pm she wakes up 2 hours later until early hours of the morning. Any advice?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17610" LastActivityDate="2015-08-15T14:09:08.427" Title="Is it normal for a 3 year old to be hyper active all day (15 hours) with no naps and still fight their sleep?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21662" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21663" CreationDate="2015-08-15T12:11:31.700" Score="3" ViewCount="36878" Body="&lt;p&gt;During the last few days the temperature where we live has been going up. During the day it is around 40 degrees Centigrade. Will the tub of powdered formula I have been using for my four month old go bad at that temperature?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17613" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-16T01:06:30.483" LastActivityDate="2021-07-10T00:51:48.217" Title="Can powdered formula spoil on very hot days?" Tags="|infant|formula|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21662" CreationDate="2015-08-15T13:20:50.363" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I looked at one &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.similac.ca/en/frequently-asked-questions&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;manufacturer's recommendation for storage of their formula products&lt;/a&gt; to get this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For unopened cans of Similac® infant formulas, most desirable  storage&#xA;  temperatures are between 13°C [55°F] and 24°C [75°F], but between 0°C&#xA;  [32°F] and 35°C [95°F] is also acceptable. &lt;strong&gt;Storage at extreme&#xA;  temperatures compromises the quality of the product.&lt;/strong&gt; For that&#xA;  reason, you should not use infant formulas stored for long periods at&#xA;  extreme temperatures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your brand may be different, but powdered infant formulas all follow the same general recipe. Unless the manufacturer explicitly says so, there is a risk that high temperatures can affect the formula and so you should find somewhere to store it that is at least consistently below 35°C, and preferably below 24°C.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make things more complicated, however:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do not store cans of powder infant formula in the refrigerator. &#xA;  Instead, store them covered, in a cool, dry place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can find a cool, dry place (perhaps a kitchen cupboard that doesn't get frequently opened during the day), that is the best solution until the heat wave is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-16T01:07:15.647" LastActivityDate="2015-08-16T01:07:15.647" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21660" CreationDate="2015-08-15T14:09:08.427" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3 kids 10/7/5 and with all 3 of them when they were around the ages 2-6 when they were overtired they would fight sleep and be very uncooperative at bedtime.  So, in my experience it is normal for overtired children to fight going to bed.  Professionals agree:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/make-your-kids-bedtime-battle-free&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If your child is overtired, Nicholas Long, PhD, a child psychologist&#xA;  at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences, says, it may&#xA;  actually take her longer to fall asleep. Moving her bedtime up by 30&#xA;  minutes may get your child to bed before she becomes overtired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to suggest you see what you and your wife can do to find some routine to get your daughter on a schedule.  It is hard to balance all the things we want and value in a family, so it may take time and patience to figure it all out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Couple of other googles resources.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/family-life/structure-routines&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/family-life/structure-routines&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/magazine/article/importance-routines-preschool-children/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.education.com/magazine/article/importance-routines-preschool-children/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/schedule/develop-bedtime-routines/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/schedule/develop-bedtime-routines/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-08-15T14:09:08.427" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21649" CreationDate="2015-08-15T16:21:47.327" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Red meat and processed meat is associated with an increased risk of colo-rectal cancer. Adults who eat more than 90g of red or processed meat per day are advised to cut down to less than 70g.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/red-meat.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/red-meat.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/meat.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/meat.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if you're including &quot;fish&quot; in your definition of meat. There are limits to the amount of  fish that adults and children eat because of pollutants that are stored in the fat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/fish-shellfish.aspx#much2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/fish-shellfish.aspx#much2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meat products can be high in salt. Children, especially young children, can have difficulty processing salt and you may wish to keep an eye on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meat and meat products tend to be low in dietary fibre. You'll want to make sure that plenty of fibre is included in the diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably want to avoid British style barbecue - quick cooking over very hot open charcoal.  This tends to have burnt outside and possibly undercooked inside. The undercooking is risky for some types of meat. The burnt bits are harmful for all meat.  Often the meat is cooked in smoke and those hydrocarbons are risky, although the risk of food poisoning is much greater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Summerhealth/Pages/Barbecuefoodsafety.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Summerhealth/Pages/Barbecuefoodsafety.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meat and meat products are a significant source of food poisoning. You should learn your local advice for avoiding food poisoning and carefully follow that. The advice does differ in different countries - in England you're not supposed to wash chickens before cooking them. Other countries don't have that restriction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-08-15T16:21:47.327" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21628" CreationDate="2015-08-15T16:37:24.043" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all: recognise the fear as something real, but describe it as something that used to happen, and that does not happen now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Remember when you had a problem, and it used to hurt to poo? It's so good that poo doesn't hurt now!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a sticker chart to reward prompt pooing.  Celebrate success, do not punish set-backs. Children need to learn the signs of needing a poo; these signals can become distorted if a child begins &quot;stool withholding&quot; and they may need to re-learn those signals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find this book useful: &lt;a href=&quot;http://astore.amazon.com/pediatassoci-20/detail/1433801302&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;It Hurts When I Poop!: A Story for Children Who Are Scared to Use the Potty&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-15T23:57:59.550" LastActivityDate="2015-08-15T23:57:59.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21628" CreationDate="2015-08-15T19:09:03.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Constipation in children is as common as rain, and as you've discovered, it's a self-perpetuating problem. Please abandon the idea that this problem will be resolved by September. It won't. It's going to take months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are lots of reasons this doesn't go quickly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One of the colon's jobs is to reabsorb water from stool. The longer the stool stays in the colon, the harder and drier it becomes. Thus, voluntarily holding back a bowel movement because of fear of pain becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Treatment requires a significant change in a lot of aspects of her intake, and this is often hard for parents to maintain (they don't have time/are impatient for results/etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child's sense of decorum or her willingness to please isn't as well developed as her fear of pain.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child will be afraid of bowel movements until she's had &lt;em&gt;at least&lt;/em&gt; a month or regular, soft, pain free bowel movements, more often two or three. She actually needs to &lt;em&gt;forget&lt;/em&gt; how painful a bowel movement can be.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The rewards of a risky proposition (having a voluntary bowel movements) aren't great enough to induce her to try.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking about it, or trying to reason with her, is absolutely fruitless. Kids this age have their own enchanting and frustrating sense of (il)logic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Forcing the issue by using dramatic measures only focuses more on the problem, and brings it's own set of potential problems.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best approach is a low-key dietary and behavioral approach that incorporates a lot of changes maintained over a long period of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For you&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't express worry, disappointment or frustration in front of your daughter. None will help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep a daily food, fluids (guestimate) and stool diary. You never know what might be a contributing cause, and this way you see what works, as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accept her fear as absolutely reasonable and respectable for her. Respect the fear. Don't give her false reassurances. That will only teach her that you're not to be trusted on this issue (and maybe, therefor, others?)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Patience, patience, patience. This is an opportunity to build trust.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Focus on process over product, that is, praise her efforts, not her successes. This may sound very strange, but it's really invaluable advice. Praising her for pooping will teach her that she's admired and loved in part for her mere ability to poop. Praising her for being courageous in trying new things, sticking with the program, doing things that she might not like for a greater good, problem solving together (how to drink a smoothie at school?), etc. will teach her that she's admired for things she can use in other circumstances, too.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For her&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increase fluid intake immediately. If she is well hydrated, her colon won't reabsorb as much fluid from her stool; her stool will be softer and less painful to pass. Any fluid id preferable to none, but pear juice and diluted prune juice are special in that they contain non-absorbed sugars which draw water osmotically to themselves.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;increase her fiber intake. Not only with the standard vegetables, but be creative: make stewed fig and/or prune puree with honey (or something) to spread on whole grain bread or crackers. The four P fruits (pears, peaches, plums and prunes) are rich in fiber. (NB: if you increase her fiber intake without increasing her fluid intake, it will make the problem worse, not better!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make smoothies! Use her favorite fruits (plus the ones above), add flax seeds or flax seed oil.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give her flax seed oil (2 tsp. per day)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make her rewards for sticking with the program substantive: does she like to have her nails done? Giving her a manicure with a pretty translucent polish (or bold, if you like) on a Saturday is a fun activity. Make sure they are rewards she really likes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Save invasive methods (e.g., enemas, suppositories) for measures of last resort. (By this time, you should have at least spoken with - if not actually seen - her primary care provider.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Never use an over-the-counter laxative for your child without talking with her primary care provider first. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Easier said then done: this is a process. Invest in making it positive for both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/childhood-illnesses/constipation-2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Constipation&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/constipation-in-children/basics/definition/con-20034665&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Constipation in children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.lww.com/jpgn/pages/articleviewer.aspx?year=2006&amp;amp;issue=09000&amp;amp;article=00028&amp;amp;type=abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Evaluation and Treatment of Constipation in Infants and Children: Recommendations of the North American Society for Pediatric Gastroenterology, Hepatology and Nutrition&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;-- read and discuss with your doctor if the above doesn't help&lt;/sub&gt; &#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.naspghan.org/files/documents/pdfs/cme/jpgn/Evaluation_and_Treatment_of_Functional.24.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Evaluation and Treatment of Functional Constipation in&#xA;Infants and Children: Evidence-Based Recommendations&#xA;From ESPGHAN and NASPGHAN&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;-- read if you want to feel really grateful for your daughter's relatively minor problem&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-08-15T19:09:03.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21668" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-15T20:03:11.157" Score="8" ViewCount="605" Body="&lt;p&gt;I witnessed parents telling their kids that, if they didn't get hurt or physically harmed in any way, they have no right or reason to cry. I kind of disagree because one doesn't cry just because of physical pain, and it's kind of debatable of freedom to tell a kid that they have no right or reason to cry because the parent feels they have no reason from their perspective; they are not looking at it from the child's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17617" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T11:50:41.333" Title="Is it bad practice for a parent to tell their children when they have a right/reason to cry?" Tags="|discipline|parents|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21669" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21677" CreationDate="2015-08-16T01:40:20.880" Score="10" ViewCount="9387" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not outside around my house often, but I've been doing a personal project that has put me just outside my front door for at least 50 hours now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While out there, at least 40% of the time I have heard a neighborhood child screaming and crying. He sounds about 3 or 4 years old. I have yet to hear an adult or another child. Mostly, it doesn't seem like the child is distressed, but it is &lt;em&gt;so&lt;/em&gt; often, that I wonder if there is any neglect or abuse going on. The fact that I haven't even heard an adult in all this time is very disturbing to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't pinpointed which house, but I know I could rather quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I briefly investigate myself to learn more or is this cause enough to report it to the police?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it matters, I live in the USA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user10076" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-08-16T01:45:49.243" LastActivityDate="2017-09-11T00:52:32.917" Title="What should I do before calling the police if I suspect child abuse in the neighbourhood?" Tags="|abuse|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="10" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21670" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-16T03:20:40.890" Score="11" ViewCount="597" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old girl has been progressively worsening with meltdown-tantrums with simple daily tasks like wearing clothes, shoes, underwear. . .&#xA;She has always been particular with things on her body, but it has gotten out of control.  She will only wear 1 pair of shoes because all her other shoes &quot;don't feel right&quot;.  I purchaced the same exact shoe hoping that would work but encountered the same meltdown!  She freaks out, screaming, crying and rolling on the floor with almost everything she tries on in clothing, shoes, and swim suits.  We have spent the entire day indoors because she refuses to get dressed because all her clothes bothers her (trying to not give her the option but she does not give in)  I don't know how to go about dealing with this problem but my nerves are shot and preschool is starting and she cant go naked!  any advice??!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17620" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T02:55:42.240" Title="how to deal with complete meltdown for simple everyday tasks with my 4 year old" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21668" CreationDate="2015-08-16T03:37:02.740" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a difference between an emotion and its expression.  Crying in children is a social signal, &quot;I need someone urgently to fix my problem.&quot;  Parents who tell their children not to cry about something aren't telling them it's not okay to feel that emotion, they are telling them, &quot;This is not something that requires the urgent degree of other people's attention that loud crying demands.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try not to judge from the short windows of time during a visit.  It might be the first time your child has cried in a few days, but it might be the tenth time today for the other parent's child who is being corrected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-08-16T03:37:02.740" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10662" CreationDate="2015-08-16T08:55:01.847" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wanted to add that babies, while they should sleep on their backs, they may be laid down on their side. This too will seem as if they are still being held in cradle position. This of course after you have verified that the baby is on deep sleep or almost there. It works both ways for me and Yes, it does depend on the baby's mood for that night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17623" LastActivityDate="2015-08-16T08:55:01.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21673" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-16T13:17:11.137" Score="2" ViewCount="186" Body="&lt;p&gt;In our country parents when decide to get their baby out of diaper first of all bring baby to toilet every 20 minutes and encourage him/her to do. During the day baby is diaper free, with underwear and without diaper. Most of the time it happens that baby wets and messes the home and carpets even though the mother bring baby to toilet quickly, and every 20 min.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to break this custom because it bothers me as a mother. What I can do to train my toddler to go to toilet when she needs, and not mess the home or everywhere during potty training time? She is 20 months old and in our country most babies are out of diapers before than this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17625" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-17T14:04:09.663" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T15:16:43.753" Title="potty training to toddler" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21669" CreationDate="2015-08-16T14:24:40.587" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let's not beat around the bush...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not ignore the situation if you believe there is abuse taking place.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child Protective Services would be a better place to call than the police if you cannot see a crime being committed or the immediate evidence of one.  CPS would rather check 100 families and find everything's ok than miss one child who is being neglected/abused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many reasons for a child crying a lot and most of them aren't abuse.  It's always worth getting the situation checked out if you're unsure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children often go through a stage where they just wail like they're being murdered because they didn't get their way on-demand and the parent is doing what they should do by not rewarding that behaviour.  One of my children had a phase where she got so upset over nothing that she forgot what she was upset about!  As a parent situations like that impossible to reason with and you just have to let the storm pass so to speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At night, children can suffer from a condition called 'night-terrors' where they appear to wake up (and often wander about the house) but scream the house down.  They're actually asleep and any attempt to reason with or console them just makes the screaming worse.  They usually go back to bed after a while, finish their good night's sleep and are up with the larks the next day - leaving everyone else groggy and grumpy (and possibly with a black eye) in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be more than one child - Some siblings fight like cat &amp;amp; dog and sometimes when mine argue even I can't tell which one's upset unless I can see them.  One always wants what the other has (mine even argue over play-doh - they both seem to want the same colour just because the other has it!?!) and while you tend not to hear the initial disagreement, handling another's toy can sound like the outbreak of WW-III to the untrained observer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the parent is having a hard time coping (post-natal depression can affect anyone and creeps up on you) and Ed's suggestion in the comments to ask if they need a hand is a good one - talk to your neighbours, see if they've noticed the situation too and if the neighbour would be amenable to an offer of help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2015-08-16T16:17:24.680" LastActivityDate="2015-08-16T16:17:24.680" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21670" CreationDate="2015-08-17T02:55:42.240" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you had her evaluated to see if she has any sensory issues?  Sensory disorder can cause issues with clothing, as the clothes can feel extremely uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think this might be the issue, try seeing if the few clothing items she can tolerate have anything in common, and build on that.  Some general guidelines that commonly help are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Super soft fabric&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Natural fabrics&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Clothes without tags or seams&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Heavier clothes that have some weight and/or compression&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://sensorysmarts.com/signs_of_spd.html&quot;&gt;SensorySmarts.com - about sensory processing disorder&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/6-clothing-solutions-for-kids-with-sensory-processing-issues&quot;&gt;Understood.org - tips for dressing a child with sensory issues&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T02:55:42.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19104" CreationDate="2015-08-17T03:59:48.823" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a toddler, my mother attached hand-made labels to many of the objects in our house. She would write the word for an object (&quot;table&quot; &quot;pillow&quot; &quot;cabinet&quot; &quot;doll&quot; &quot;bed&quot; etc.) on a small-ish piece of paper and tape it to the object in a place where a small child would be able to see it. Our whole house was covered in these labels at one point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be fun to try this with your daughter, too. It seems like if she has learned to recognize the individual letters, she might be able to recognize entire words if she sees them often enough. And just the appearance of these labels in her house will probably spark a good deal of curiosity about them---and the relationship between words and their referents---regardless of whether she ends up recognizing the words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also wondered often whether it would &quot;work&quot; (or just be too confusing) to do this in multiple languages, since it sounds like your daughter is learning English as well as another language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4740" LastEditorUserId="4740" LastEditDate="2015-08-17T04:05:51.877" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T04:05:51.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21669" CreationDate="2015-08-17T04:26:47.063" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given 21st century American culture, I'd be very careful either way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child is really being tortured, I certainly wouldn't want to just brush it off with &quot;oh, kids cry and scream sometimes&quot;, and allow the abuse to continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But on the other hand, children can be taken away from their parents for reasons that, in my humble opinion anyway, range from trivial to totally wrong-headed. I just saw a story in the news the other day about parents being arrested and their child taken away because they got stuck in traffic and didn't get home until the boy had been home from school for half an hour, which time he spent playing basketball in the backyard with no apparent ill effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that you don't hear any adult voices could be a positive thing. If there's a screaming child and also a screaming adult, I think that's a worse situation than a screaming child and a calm adult whose voice you can't hear over the child's screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say: get more information before you call the police or children's services. You could be as direct as knocking on the door the next time there's an incident and saying, &quot;Hey, I heard screaming. Is everybody okay? Do you need help?&quot; See what they say and go from there. Or to be a little more subtle, sometime when there's NOT an incident go over and introduce yourself and just say hi. I see in a comment on someone else's answer you say you are pursuing this. Seems like a good strategy to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-31T12:31:09.650" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T12:31:09.650" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21668" CreationDate="2015-08-17T04:44:01.580" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I certainly agree that it is wrong to tell a child (or an adult, for that matter) that the only legitimate reason to cry is if they have suffered physical injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, your brief account above doesn't necessarily tell the whole story. I don't know if you know the whole story. Did you just overhear a snippet of a conversation in passing? Or walk into a friend's house just in time to hear them say this? Or were you with the other family for hours?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the one hand, if a small child is crying because of some legitimate emotional upset, I'd certainly say that the parents are wrong to tell him he shouldn't. To take an extreme example, if a child is crying because a beloved pet just died, it would be a pretty harsh parent who would tell him to shut up and has no reason to cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, when my kids were small, there were times when they would cry and scream for the most trivial reasons. (For example, I recall: When my kids were little and I would give them each a card printed on the computer with our home phone number and my work phone and, I forget, some other phone number, for them to keep in case of emergencies. Then one day one of these phone numbers changed so I hand-wrote the new number on the cards. And one of my kids started crying and screaming because he wanted a new printed card and not the hand-written update.) I can readily imagine a hard-pressed parent whose child is screaming over nothing trying to calm the child down, and after some long period when the child just keeps screaming and screaming finally says, &quot;You're not hurt! You have no reason to cry!&quot; A statement about there being no good reason to cry because the child is not physically injured may not be intended to be a complete discussion, rather the parent is contrasting a good reason with the poor or non-existent reason for the child's present crying. Yes, children remember things you say and can go back to something inaccurate or oversimplified that you said years ago, so I suppose a perfect parent would give a more complete statement. But being a parent of a small child is very stressful, and I'd give them some slack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T04:44:01.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21669" CreationDate="2015-08-17T13:16:37.280" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crying is not prima facie evidence of abuse.  Often, quite the opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My family might as well be the one you're talking about.  My son cries at the drop of a hat.  One of the main reasons we homeschool now is because when he was at public school he literally cried for the last hour or two almost every day.  However, indulging him so he never cried for long would be more damaging than letting him cry as much as he wants.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of our major goals for him, which we consider much more important than academic goals, is to teach him socially-acceptable ways to self-regulate his emotional responses, so he will be able to function in a job.  He can't do that without at least some practice handling disappointment.  It is &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; difficult to find the right balance with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His emotional issues are &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; draining on us as parents, and we lose our tempers more than I'd like to admit.  The fact you never hear a parent means she should probably be sainted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our oldest daughter has cerebral palsy.  She wakes up in severe pain.  In order not to be in pain all day, she requires a series of extremely painful stretches.  This causes a lot of screaming, but she thanks us afterward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our other daughter is typical both emotionally and physically.  She rarely cries for long, and it's almost always for reasons that appropriately require our immediate intervention.  Sometimes, we try to think what it would be like to be a person who only has experience with kids like her.  How would such a person perceive our other children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before adding to this mother's burdens, I would suggest getting to know the family better.  Yes, there could be neglect or abuse going on, but most likely it's just the ups and downs of a normal family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T13:16:37.280" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7828" CreationDate="2015-08-17T14:49:33.227" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a two-year-old question, but a couple of thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see anything categorically wrong with a parent crying in front of a child ... but I think you need to be careful that you do not burden a child with adult concerns. If grandpa just died, I think it's quite appropriate for parent and child to cry together. We can't hide the fact that grandpa died from the child, nor should we discourage sadness over such an event. But if you're frustrated because you can't pay the credit card bill, I don't think that's something to discuss with a small child. It's your job as a parent to protect them from that sort of thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another issue is what you are teaching your child about how to react to problems. When is it appropriate to cry? If you are in physical pain or someone close has died, crying is appropriate. If you just lost a board game, screaming and crying may not be the example you want to set. And I'm sure some will say I'm being sexist for saying this, but I think that cases where it's appropriate for a man to cry are much more limited than those where a woman can cry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-08-17T17:53:00.257" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T17:53:00.257" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21683" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-17T16:37:38.197" Score="4" ViewCount="737" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been separated from my childrens' father for nearly two years. I have custody of our two children, and he lives in a different city than us. Although it is a long haul for him to get to us, he made the decision to stay where he is, and has made minimal efforts to physically visit his children. Our four year old son has had minimal contact with him since he was 2  years old, and last saw him 1 1/2 years ago. My daughter, who is 9, has a much closer relationship with her father (with phone calls and face-time), but has not seem him in 1 1/2 years either. Their father has made less of an effort to connect with our son than our daughter. Although things are uneasy between myself and my ex-partner, I encourage them to stay in touch him and hope they can maintain a loving relationship with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is very well connected with me and is always openly loving and affectionate, saying kind words and wanting to be by my side. If it weren't for his older sister having a consistent dialogue about/ with their father, I do not know if my son would even know who he is, or if his father would bother to stay connected with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their father came to visit them this week. I agreed to drop them off with him for a few days. My son seemed somewhat weary about leaving his mommy but I wanted to give them time to bond. My daughter phoned the first night saying she wanted to spend the days with him, but would like to leave at night to sleep at home, while my four  year old has insisted on staying with his father. When I have gone to pick her up in the evenings, my four year does not even acknowledge my presence and has no interest in me hugging him or giving him love. He seems totally uninterested that I am there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand he is spending time with his father and is getting undivided love and attention, which I do not oppose, but should I be worried that my son, who typically runs to me with smiles and hugs all day, is suddenly so disconnected after being away from me for a few days?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17632" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-19T05:15:29.727" LastActivityDate="2020-04-10T20:18:01.097" Title="4 year old seems suddenly uninterested in me" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|single-parent|divorce|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21684" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-17T18:32:04.357" Score="10" ViewCount="1394" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering if there is any research about if there are better, or at least &quot;not so bad&quot; times of a child's development for a father to less available. (Not completely absent, but time would be limited to weekends and a bit most/some evenings on weekdays.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Situation is a two-parent household with one 3 year old daughter. I have the option for a rather high-paying job, but it would require excessive (to me) commuting, like 2 hours each way. If it were temporary with the goal to move closer, it would be fine, but in this case it would be at least 6 months, likely a year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17604" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T22:58:37.853" Title="Is there a &quot;better&quot; time for parental absence?" Tags="|development|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21684" CreationDate="2015-08-17T18:41:09.360" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I can talk to you from my experience with my oldest child. I got pregnant at the university, and her father was 400 km away because he was at university too. Her first three year she only saw him like two times a month, two days each.&#xA;She is now almost 6 years old, and love him so much. But the relationship with me it's better, because we spend a lot of time alone, the two of us.&#xA;So, there's a bond between them...but sometimes it's hard for both to have a relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO, it's better to be absent when the kid it's very little, and doesn't miss anyone, except for the provider of primary necessities (AKA mom), but I don't have a source of that, only, like I said, my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17522" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T18:41:09.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21684" CreationDate="2015-08-17T19:43:19.173" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on my experience as a military kid, my husband's experience as a military dad, and my experience as a foster parent, the biggest factor is how the limited schedule is presented to the kids.  For smaller children, like your daughter, they tend to quickly adapt to the new normal, as long as the parents are satisfied with the way things are, and are available to the kids when they are present.  If the parents tend to view the schedule as something negative that they need to apologize to the kids for, or make up for by going overboard in the time they are together, then the kids will cue off that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, the schedule you describe (weekends and a little on weeknights) is fairly common with small kids and working parents.  My husband and I both work, and I get weekends and a few hours on weeknights between picking the kids up at daycare and bedtime.  My husband gets even less, as he works later, and the kids are well attached to both of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T19:43:19.173" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21687" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-17T22:03:18.630" Score="2" ViewCount="53774" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15 month old has suddenly started waking at night crying. We go into her room to try to comfort her, and sometimes bring her into bed with us, but our presence seems to make things worse. Sometimes she screams and becomes so hysterical that nothing will calm her down for 30 to 40 minutes. In between these episodes, and during the day, she is otherwise totally normal and her daytime behaviour has not changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are we dealing with separation anxiety or is this closer to night terrors? She always seems awake and aware when she has a screaming jag. We haven't had trouble waking her, so I am thinking it could be separation anxiety. We recently took a 3 week vacation overseas and it was hard for her to adjust to the time change and jet-lag...could that be the reason for these outbursts?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever it is, these tantrums are very scary...I am not sure now whether I should pick her up at night or not. I can't stand the thought of letting her scream alone...and when I go to her and try to comfort her while leaving her in the crib she becomes even more angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17634" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T03:35:17.423" Title="15 month old waking in the night, screaming and hysterical" Tags="|toddler|behavior|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2018-05-04T07:51:38.223" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21684" CreationDate="2015-08-17T22:58:37.853" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple answer, no there isn't a better or worse time in general. Each child is different and is going to need different amounts of time. But if you think about it, a great many children don't see one of their parents during the week very much. I work a typical office job (8-5) but if there's a late night, which happens in the professional world, I don't get to see my kids that night. I don't let it bother me: they're in the very capable hands of my wife, and they know I love them very, very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would recommend is trying to shift your schedule. Your 3 year old daughter probably has a bedtime of around 7pm, right? If you were to go to work for your 8-5 job you're going to get home just as she's going to bed. This job is going to be &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; taxing on you. A typical 9 hour job is going to consume 13 hours of your daytime. Count half an hour at morning and night and you're only looking at 2 hours of leisure time per day for those six months. That's demanding!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you could shift your schedule to be 7:30-4:30, you'll at least get half an hour with your Daughter. You also could try to work out one night a week taking off a bit early, or working from home that day, to get a little extra time with her. And don't forget, Mom will want a break too, and she'll want you too! You'll also need lots of dedicated time with Mom to talk about how Daughter is doing and what she's up to. And don't forget this schedule means you're &lt;em&gt;leaving for work&lt;/em&gt; at 5:30am. Yikes! Get that move done as soon as possible!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this means you're going to be very tired come the weekend. But the reality is that's going to be your only time with Mom and Daughter, so you have to make the most of it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had to wager, I'd say that in terms of development and building that lasting relationship, a child realistically isn't going to see a difference between half an hour with you on the weekday and an hour with you on the weekday. Especially being three already, chances are she has such a strong bond with you that even going for a few days at a time isn't going to have a major long term impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;tl;dr&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't worry too much about it. You'll just pass that worry on to Mom and Daughter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take steps to work schedule so there's at home time with Daughter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a hands free setup for your car - CALL HER multiple times a week on lunch breaks or on the trip home. If you can skype or facetime, that's even better. (Doesn't have to be every day, but a call from Daddy twice a week will go a long way!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay up to date on her development and be involved with the time you have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't overwork yourself - it will make what little free time you get suck.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2015-08-17T22:58:37.853" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21689" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-17T23:56:52.903" Score="7" ViewCount="756" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since there is no Uncle'ing on StackExchange, I figured the Parenting site is the closest match to my dilemma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First some backstory.  My sister and I were raised in a mildly conservative (middle of the road) Jewish family.  At an early age, I realized I was agnostic/atheistic.  My parents always said it was a phase and I would grow out of it.  However, over time, my opinion only solidified.  This of course caused conflict between my parents and me.  As the years past, they have come to live with my choice.  My sister's participation dwindled to almost none, when she started her own life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that she has kids, she is more participatory in religion again.  She goes to synagogue and sends them to Hebrew and Sunday school.  I asked her why, she said it was good for the kids to learn about the religion and culture.  To be honest, I don't even know if she even believes in God or religion; she never talks about it.  And I never ask, as it has zero importance to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My nephew is having his Bar-Mitzvah (the Jewish rite of manhood) later this year.  I was asked to participate and I agreed.  Naturally, I want to see my family, as I don't see them very often.  However, as my sister's kids get older, sooner or later they will ask me about my beliefs and religion.  Quite possibly at a religious event that is coming up in a few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will not lie about my beliefs, or lack thereof.  I am proud of the fact that I have turned away from theistic beliefs and religion.  However, I can see potential conflict with my family.  I am tired of hearing my parents say, why can't you respect our religion, when they have no respect for my lack of religion.  I see this conflict more with my parents, but I am afraid to hurt my sister's feelings as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the situation finally rears its head, how do I talk about my beliefs to my nephew and niece in a way that won't cause (or at least minimize) conflict with the rest of my family without compromising my own beliefs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17635" LastEditorUserId="26553" LastEditDate="2021-11-25T19:50:41.000" LastActivityDate="2021-11-25T19:50:41.000" Title="How to be honest and sensitive while talking to my sister's children about religion?" Tags="|religion|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21689" CreationDate="2015-08-18T00:06:36.540" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;While you should not lie, you can tell half truths. So rather than telling them about your lack of religious belief, you could instead tell them you were raised Jewish just like them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would however suggest that you talk to your sister about it, tell her that you don't want to lie but want to respect her wishes, so if they do ask, how does she want you to answer. She may say that she doesn't want you to tell them you are not religious, but she might say you can tell them so long as you don't try to influence them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not religious, but have been in the past and so I have the ability to appreciate both sides of the coin, just as I am sure you do. So you could tell them that you were raised Jewish and tell them some of the good parts of growing up Jewish that you remember and leave it at that. It will help to reinforce their beliefs without compromising yours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17637" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T00:06:36.540" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21692" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21693" CreationDate="2015-08-18T00:58:22.403" Score="4" ViewCount="2284" Body="&lt;p&gt;my LO is now 86 days old and has been exclusively breastfed.&#xA;He just had his check up today and now measures as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;height: 59cm. 57.5cm two weeks ago.&#xA;weight: 5.15 kg (with clothing on, suppose he would be just a little bit below 5kg without clothing). his weight was 4.74 two weeks ago.&#xA;HC: 40cm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctor plotted this against a chart and we found that he is now just above the 3rd percentile... A good side is that he has been reaching development milestones faster than supposed to. He is pooing and peeing a lot though he sleeps an average of 11-13 hours total a single day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife has been very eager to breastfeed him exclusively. But, when the doctor suggested we supplement with formula, she is pretty upset now. She had a lactation consultant come in to check breastfeeding. The consultant diagnosed the baby as having a tongue-tie, so we had that cut a month ago. But still not a significant improvement observed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With these in mind, should we really supplement with formula?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17639" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T10:02:51.847" Title="3 months old not gaining weight well from exclusive breastfeeding" Tags="|development|breastfeeding|formula|weight|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21692" CreationDate="2015-08-18T01:51:04.790" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you need a second opinion, please get one from another doctor (preferably as soon as possible so that your baby can get the necessary nutrition without delay.) However, since you asked:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you should supplement his feeding with bottles. There's no shame whatsoever in doing this for any reason, let alone to help your baby grow. To continue exclusively breastfeeding is to continue letting the baby go hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As @Erica said, it's hard for some people who want to do everything the &quot;natural way&quot; to add supplement feedings. But the baby's health is at stake here, not the feelings of adults. A lactation consultant is not going to make your wife suddenly make more milk (sorry, but it won't happen), and it certainly won't make her feel good about &lt;em&gt;herself&lt;/em&gt; unless the consultant determines that your wife has done everything she possibly could have done, and it's time to add supplement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the benefits of breastfeeding will continue as she continues to primarily breastfeed. Plus, you can help feed the baby as a dad by giving him a bottle as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the the potential &lt;strong&gt;myths&lt;/strong&gt; you will hear should not sway you both. They may include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;milk production will go down &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;the baby will get lazy and will prefer the bottle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;you will cause nipple confusion&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;formula will cause digestion problems, constipation or allergies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;bottle feeding can cause (insert worst fear here: dental troubles/ear infections/deformed facial features/other)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you ate only organic food grown on your own property but you had a drought, would you still insist on eating &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; what you grew despite being hungry most of the time, or would you add other organically grown food to your diet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's no different for your baby. This needs to be approached &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; from the baby's best interests. Your doctor has given you advice. If you don't trust your doctor, get a second opinion. But don't let some random stranger on the internet who doesn't have your precious baby's best interests in mind talk you out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I've taken care of hundreds of babies as well as my own. My first required supplemental feedings, and I nursed him until I became pregnant with the second (for reasons I won't go into.) I never saw nipple confusion in a full-term, non-adopted baby.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T01:51:04.790" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21692" CreationDate="2015-08-18T08:59:50.703" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also sympathise with your wife's situation. My answer will be based on my personal experience with my two girls, but also on discussions in help groups and research on the matter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first daughter would also not meet her wight growth milestones. She was always feeding and still not getting much weight, but met her other milestones a lot sooner.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been told growth does not come linear with babies, the either gain weight, or height, or milestones. &#xA;Do you or your wife know about growth spurts? The occur with babies regularily, at 10 days, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 8-10 months, 12 months, 18 months.... and do go on, even when they're not babies anymore. &#xA;Those are periods of frequent feedings, especially when breastfed, and the mother usually feels she does not have enough milk. That is because lactation is based on a supply and demand system. That means, if the baby needs more milk, he will want to feed more often, and the supply will adapt and the mother will have more milk. Supplementing with formula destabilizes this process, and the formula meal the baby gets will not be demanded from the mother and thus not be produced. Then, lactation decreases.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the theory. In my experience, lazy feeders like my first daughter do not manage to increase demand, and I would nurse her for hours at the 3mo growth spurt. That one was our greatest breastfeeding milestone together, and it lasted for a whole month. My second daughter was a bit better at it and I didn't feel this growth spurt as that bad. Also, from the 2-3 help groups I've been on, I noticed a trend at 3 months. Almost all mothers feel like they don't have enough milk, and all at 3 months. So it's always this growth spurt that's the hardest to overcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with @anongoodnurse on the point that you should supplement &lt;strong&gt;IF&lt;/strong&gt; the baby is hungry. And I agree that nipple confusion never happened to us, but my girls always preferred the breast, I couldn't even get them to use a pacifier... and i tried.&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;BUT&lt;/strong&gt; I haven't read from your question that the baby is going hungry, only that he is not meeting weight milestones. Which could be for various reasons, and not because of insufficient milk supply.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and only you see your baby and know if he is healthy and happy. If he is, and only points on a chart are your concern, then I really advise to at least wait out the 3 months growth spurt. Afterwards breastfeeding does get easier!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;LATER EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Here is a little guide to checking if a baby is getting enough breastmilk. It's on the site of &lt;strong&gt;La Leche League&lt;/strong&gt; organisation. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/enough.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.llli.org/faq/enough.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is from the breastfeeding clinic of Dr. Jack Newman's&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=doc-IMB&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=doc-IMB&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I stand by my statement that the baby gaining weight and the baby being hungry are two different situations. And only the parents can asses that. &lt;strong&gt;Is he hungry?&lt;/strong&gt; Ok, try supplementing if raising the milk supply fails. But why not try that first? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like Stephie's comment, it would have been a good answer... Growth is not a point in a chart but a progression, and that is important to monitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2430" LastEditorUserId="2430" LastEditDate="2015-08-19T10:02:51.847" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T10:02:51.847" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21695" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-18T10:02:55.097" Score="2" ViewCount="143" Body="&lt;p&gt;Different sports afford different body types, in team sports even a particular position may favor certain physical properties in a player. Much of this does not develop before puberty hits of course, but some signs and characteristics are there from the beginning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my kids were newborns, for instance, they never needed us to support their heads, because they could hold them up themselves, which made it strange for me to hold other babies; they also have remarkable body tension – especially our oldest naturally stays firm as a plank if you hold them up even for extended periods of time, or in water – and are stronger than most kids their age, too. There have been family members successfully participating in national competitions, but we, the parents, are not taller, stronger or faster than most people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are still very young and I don’t want to force them into any particular kind of sport. I actually don’t even like the idea of either one becoming a professional athlete one day. They should do what they have fun at and that may be just because it’s spending time with friends. &#xA;Anyhow, I don’t want to miss a good opportunity to introduce them to a kind of sport that they are more likely to excel at than other kids because of their physique, since being good at something (and knowing it) is a valuable experience when growing up and it can be engaging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, &lt;strong&gt;how can parents find out which sports are particularly well suited for their kids&lt;/strong&gt; (or vice versa) and when should they start the earliest?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Please note that I’m not asking for specific advice related to my children whose gender and exact age I didn’t mention on purpose.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14875" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T14:23:29.290" Title="How to find fitting sports to introduce one’s kid to?" Tags="|activities|motivation|sports|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21696" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-18T10:34:49.203" Score="46" ViewCount="31625" Body="&lt;p&gt;We never really knew if my son was left or right-handed. He can use any most of the time. A doctor said that sometimes it takes longer time to know which hand is dominant, so we never paid attention although we thought he was left-handed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, the school provides a little notebook to exchange information about kids with parents which must be available in my son's schoolbag. The first day his teacher put the following note:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He is left-handed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few days later, another note:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It seems that I was wrong, he is right handed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last week, she wrote the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Can you please confirm if he is left or right-handed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He only learned how to write 1, 2, 3 and A, B, C... He does not really write well yet, but when we ask him to write 1, 2, 3, he will use any of his hands. We tried not to tell him which hand to use and the result is bad writing regardless of the hand he uses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, is this normal at his age (4.5 years)? Do kids take longer time to decide which hand is dominant? Is it a sign of some serious thing, and I should be worried? So far he is an amazing kid, he speaks two languages (my wife and I are from different countries) and he can understand a third language. What makes us more worried is that his little brother who is two years old, and we already know he is right-handed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11571" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-08-20T16:53:45.277" LastActivityDate="2020-02-13T01:18:48.297" Title="My 4.5-year-old son has no dominant hand" Tags="|health|handwriting|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="19" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-18T11:36:11.533" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;A common method to find out which hand is dominant is to observe which hand someone uses intuitively when they try to catch something. Take a small item, tell your son to &quot;catch!&quot; and throw it in his direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When there are no consistent results, your son might be &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambidexterity&quot;&gt;ambidextrous&lt;/a&gt;. This is uncommon, but often a good thing because it usually correlates with an above average body coordination ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to learning writing, you should listen to the recommendations of the teachers whether it would be better for him to write with whatever hand he prefers that day or decide on one hand and keep it that way. When he really has no preference but the teachers insist on picking one, it would likely be better for him to pick the right hand. That will make his future life easier because most tools are primarily designed for right-handed people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4659" LastEditorUserId="17642" LastEditDate="2015-08-18T14:40:12.603" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T14:40:12.603" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-18T11:41:26.290" Score="44" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ambidexterity can be a very positive thing, however that uncertainty at early school levels can be a problem both for teachers, and for your child if you are trying to help them improve their handwriting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A choice you can make if the child really doesn't show any preference is to decide on one and teach them to use that hand for writing consistently. This will avoid conflict in learning, and helps the child focus on one range of movements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether you decide on left- or right-handed training is up to you, but many agree that learning right handed can be easier, and certainly less messy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T11:41:26.290" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21695" CreationDate="2015-08-18T11:47:20.073" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Because the size, weight and strength of a small child may have no relationship with how they develop both before and after puberty, I think the basic premise is slightly flawed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your best approach from an early age is to encourage sports they enjoy and that give good general fitness, agility, speed, control and strength. This will then give the best baseline to allow them to move to any sport as their characteristics develop, and helps them be generally fit and healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As examples, swimming, running, martial arts and gymnastics help develop strength in arms, legs and core, control, speed and power.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, as well, that at a young age the most important thing is that they enjoy fitness and sport - this will put in place the behaviours to help them keep fit throughout life. Don't look at them and say, &quot;You're going to be tall - you will go to basketball every day.&quot; Be aware that their favourite sport may change over time as well - and while you can encourage them to progress in a sport they have done well at, you &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/14392/316&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;can't force them&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T11:47:20.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21689" CreationDate="2015-08-18T12:53:37.897" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Live and let live.&lt;/strong&gt;  While you will obviously want to go along with the show at the bar mitzvah, if the nephews ever ask about your beliefs, I see no reason to lie, even by omission.  If your sister's feelings are hurt because you tell your nephews that you do not believe in God, then quite frankly that's your sister's problem, not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I'll disagree with Ajaypayne's answer: it is not your job to &quot;reinforce their beliefs&quot;.  If their belief is strong, it will withstand finding out that somebody they know is atheist.  If their belief is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; strong, or they've already independently come to the same conclusions as you did, they will appreciate finding an ally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T12:53:37.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21695" CreationDate="2015-08-18T14:23:29.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you considered Omnisport clubs. Around where I live there are A few of those they take kids from age 3 and up and introduce them to all different sport by play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For them its just play time, running obstacle courses and throwing a ball in a net, catching balls, jumping on trampolines, as they progress in age they start playing a more specific sports like soccer, basketball and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At later age they can decide if they like a sport and join a specific club.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really like this because they get exposed to all different sports and it allows them to make an informed choice later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17641" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T14:23:29.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21673" CreationDate="2015-08-18T15:16:43.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did the 20 minutes sit on toilet with our first son and, to be honest, it became a management problem since we were forcing him to do it on our terms rather than on his own. We did not use any diapers (or barely any) and stressed him to use the toilet/potty and we had messes more often than not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our second son, we decided we would let him tell us when he wanted to be free of diapers and use the toilet/potty. It worked wonders to let him tell us &quot;I need to go, help me remove my diaper so I can use the toilet/potty.&quot; not in those exact terms obviously. We tried to always ask him if he wanted to use the toilet when we noticed him needing to go and if he said no, we wouldn't bother getting him to the toilet but we would explain to him what would be needed if he didn't use it (diaper change, clean up, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, when you suspect your baby needing to go to the toilet, ask her if she wants to use the toilet instead of doing it in her diaper. If she says no, explain why the toilet is easier/faster and if she still refuses, don't force it. Rinse and repeat till she says yes and when she does, congratulate her of her choice and explain again why it is faster/easier and cleaner to use the toilet. Always congratulate her when she decides to use the toilet, positive feedback works very well. Having your baby understand that it is easier, faster and cleaner to use the toilet will make her want to do it on her own, even more if that makes you happy. Also, ask her if she wants to keep the diaper and explain to her that if she does not want it anymore, she needs to use the toilet. Again, don't force her out of diapers if she doesn't want to. Our son didn't want to remove it even after using the toilet a few times, it took a little while before he felt confident enough to tell us he didn't want a diaper and wanted to wear panties like his brother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'll use that again with our currently 16 months daughter as it is a lot less stressful and much much easier from our experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14343" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T15:16:43.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-18T16:17:47.507" Score="52" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have still not identified my dominant hand, and I'm 66 years old. I voluntarily switched from left to right for writing when I was 7, and was going to have to start using pen-and-ink instead of pencil.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, I use whichever hand I learned with for a given task. The only significant problem is that I started using scissors in my left hand. It would have been much more convenient if I held scissors in my right hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some tasks, such as drawing or using a mouse, I switch hands based on convenience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do make sure he knows which hand is which - something that is obvious to a strongly handed child. I learned by imagining myself in the kitchen at home, and repeating &quot;Pantry on right, hallway on left&quot;. This is important. Knowing facts like &quot;The loop of a &quot;b&quot; is to the right, the loop of a &quot;d&quot; is to the left&quot; was useless until I could reliably decide which side of the paper was to the right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9884" LastEditorUserId="9884" LastEditDate="2015-08-18T16:42:48.863" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T16:42:48.863" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-18T17:28:13.910" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;A good starting resource is &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handedness&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handedness&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help you discover the state-of-handedness of your son, some methods are mentioned &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rightleftrightwrong.com/measuring.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, specifically; a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purdue_Pegboard_Test&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Purdue Pegboard Test&lt;/a&gt; can objectively measure motor accuracy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/mfllf.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/mfllf.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;American Academy of Orthotists &amp;amp; Prosthetists (AAOP)&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17647" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T17:28:13.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-18T17:40:04.143" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's entirely possible your child is ambidextrous, but I think the other answerers are jumping the gun a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, 'handedness' is not a binary (or trinary) thing: it's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.backupcare.org/blog/how-to-determine-if-your-child-is-left-or-right-handed/&quot;&gt;a continuum&lt;/a&gt;.  Some people are essentially 100% right handed, some 100% left, and some are ... mixed.  I'm in that range.  I'm mostly right handed - I do everything right handed that you normally would see someone do, writing, eating, bowling - but I'm capable of doing it reasonably well left-hadned also.  However, I'm certainly not ambidextrous, nor am I a lefty who was trained to be a righty: I'm a righty, who happens to be more like 70% right handed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, there are really &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rightleftrightwrong.com/what.html&quot;&gt;four major categories&lt;/a&gt;: Right, Left, Mixed, and Ambidextrous. Mixed means you have a dominant hand for activities - but the hand isn't always the same hand for different ones (my grandfather was a lefty bowler and eater, and a righty writer and drawer, for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, while many children will show by 3, some don't show &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-i-know-whether-my-child-is-a-righty-or-a-lefty_70388.bc&quot;&gt;until 5 or 6&lt;/a&gt; which hand they prefer.  I haven't found any evidence that we know &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; that is; it may be 'less dominant' handedness (where it only shows once children are taught to write using one hand) or it may be due to differences in brain development.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of whether you should be worried: On balance, no, you shouldn't be worried.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rightleftrightwrong.com/measuring.html&quot;&gt;One to two percent&lt;/a&gt; of people are ambidextrous or truly mixed-handed (ie, a roughly even number of tasks done with each hand).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are some studies showing that being ambidextrous makes you more likely to be at risk for some mental health disorders and other differing brain functionality, such as ADHD.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/8044-ambidextrous-children-problems-school.html&quot;&gt;This article in Live Science&lt;/a&gt; covers one of the studies&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;.  It used a sample of children in Northern Finland, and found:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;By age 15 or 16, mixed-handed adolescents were also at twice the risk of having symptoms of attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). And those ambidextrous teens with ADHD had more severe symptoms than their right-handed counterparts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That study is somewhat controversial, as some have &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201002/ambidextrous-children-more-likely-develop-adhd&quot;&gt;questioned whether the effect still exists when properly balancing for demographic factors (gender, birth weight, gestational age at birth)&lt;/a&gt;.  However, it's worth keeping in mind, as paying attention to these issues can help lead to early diagnosis and treatment.  It's important to note that the issues found are relatively minor, and are not in anything close to 100% of ambidextrous children; more than likely if your child does turn out to be mixed-handed or ambidextrous, it's most significant influence will be as a party trick or a feeling of kinship with Inigo Montoya.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Rodriguez A, et al. (2010) &quot;Mixed-handedness is linked to mental health problems in children and adolescents&quot;. Pediatrics (doi:10.1542/peds.2009-1165).&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T17:40:04.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-18T17:42:07.547" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few years ago in a psychology class we studied human perception, and I learned that people are not just right or left handed, they are also right or left eyed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I propose that if there seems no obvious difference in dexterity between the sides, you judge based on what eye is dominant, since it almost always* matches the dominant hand, and is quite closely tied to the brain's processing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's how to test it, from &lt;a href=&quot;http://vision.about.com/od/contactlenses/ht/Eye_Dominance.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;about.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Here's How:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Extend your arms in front of you with your palms facing away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Bring your hands together, forming a small hole by crossing the thumbs and fore fingers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Choose a small object about 15-20 feet away from you. With both eyes open, focus on the object as you look through the small hole.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Close one eye and then the other. When you close one eye, the object will be stationary. When you close the other eye, the object&#xA;  should disappear from the hole or jump to one side.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;If the object does not move when you cover one eye, then that eye is dominant. The eye that sees the object and does not move is the&#xA;  dominant eye.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be a bit of a chore to do with a 4 year old kid, but try it yourself first, so that you understand how it works. You will likely find that your dominant eye is your dominant hand's side. For instance, I am right handed, and my right eye is dominant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the absence of any other clear indicator, this seems like a reasonable route to me. I would start by testing more directly (like your hand writing test, or throwing a ball at him), but if that doesn't help, this might.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Never mind, it is not a good predictor of hand dominance according to this study, &lt;a href=&quot;http://texasarchery.org/Documents/articleeyedominance.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Eye dominance in sport:A comparative study&lt;/a&gt;. I'm going to leave my answer, because I think it's interesting, and it's probably a better way to pick than a coin toss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17359" LastEditorUserId="17359" LastEditDate="2015-08-18T18:06:11.237" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T18:06:11.237" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21692" CreationDate="2015-08-18T18:55:21.563" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, the formula has the same amount of calories than the breast milk, and the composition in proteins, fat and amino acids its practically the same.&#xA;The formula it's more difficult to digest than the breast milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby it is very young, I recommend you to breastfeed him/her when he/she wants to, not in a schedule, that helps a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you want to supplement, first nurse the baby, then give a bottle of formula.&#xA;My two kids gain a little weight some months, but my oldest girl it's now a really REALLY tall girl (she looks like a 8 yo, but she's only 5yo).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: if the baby is active and achieving milestones, it's a healthy baby. My two kids are very skinny, but healthy. And exclusively breastfeed both of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17522" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T18:55:21.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-18T21:53:28.353" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Figuring out your dominant hand is correlated with fine motor development.  Your son isn't delayed, because there is a wide natural range of development he is still well within.  Kindergarten used to be largely about working on fine motor skills as a prerequisite to writing, but unfortunately, schools have started to push writing younger and younger, when some kids are ready, but not all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to focus on &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=fine%20motor&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fine motor activities&lt;/a&gt; before writing, and ask the school to do the same (assuming you have some say).  There's really no cause for concern until around age 6.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-08-18T21:53:28.353" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21710" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21718" CreationDate="2015-08-19T01:09:52.010" Score="5" ViewCount="252" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 19mo daughter who spends ~30hrs/week with a nanny. She &quot;teaches&quot; her to say &quot;please&quot; by forcing her to say it and withholding a wanted item until she does. And forces a &quot;thank you&quot; afterward. I feel like this does less teaching and more just creating a mimic. I feel like manners is best taught by modeling, but I recognize this is a very passive method. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a more interactive way to teach politeness and manners without forcing it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: What about saying you're sorry? I'm a firm believer that forcing a child to say they are sorry after hitting another kid or taking a toy or whatever just won't work in teaching them to feel true remorse for their actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastEditorUserId="9285" LastEditDate="2015-08-19T15:58:20.173" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T15:58:20.173" Title="Teaching manners to a toddler" Tags="|toddler|teaching|manners|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-19T01:34:38.867" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm  apparently  a left dominant milti hander.  Was tested when i was 5 or 6 because of the same type of confusion that you are describing.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I write with my left except on a white board i use my right. Untill a couple years ago.  Now i write left handed on both.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When play pool i switch back because my left is better for long shots but right is better for short shots.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I use the mouse with either hand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BUT... I was given a left handed note book in school because i was using books backward.  I used the left handed notebook right handed.  (had a few issues taking notes)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end i try things with each hand a use which ever one i like.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that need for schools to determine if your dominant hand doesnt really matter&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eye dominance test (archery) switches to.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel it is all more of a novelty that a actual issue in modern times&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17654" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T01:34:38.867" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21712" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21720" CreationDate="2015-08-19T03:56:40.733" Score="4" ViewCount="2836" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12 y/o daughter &lt;strong&gt;used&lt;/strong&gt; to be very open. A great communicator. Very warm and gregarious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few months ago (right around the time her body started changing) she gradually started changing her pattern. Now she only speaks in one-word (or one-sentence) answers to direct questions. &quot;Yes.&quot; &quot;No.&quot; And her favorite / most common: &quot;I don't know.&quot; Even to questions she clearly knows the answer to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Example #1&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;Question: &quot;How are you feeling today?&quot;&#xA;Answer: &quot;I don't know.&quot;&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't seem &quot;rude.&quot; Or angry. Just not interested in communicating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I added the facts that this all started around the time her body started changing and that is was gradual is because it seems to me to be a natural adolescent / pre-teen behavior pattern. (And not the result of some &quot;event.&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Example #2&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, I explained to her that it's difficult to have a conversation with her when she only gives one-word answers. Then I paused to give her space to respond. After a long silence, she said, &quot;Oh, so now you're going to stop talking to me!?&quot; After explaining to her what just happened, and still getting no conversation, I finally ended by giving up and just saying, &quot;Okay, sweetie. Thank you. Have a nice day. I love you.&quot; I try to always keep everything positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Question&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What approach can I use to get her to talk to me in something other than one-word or single-sentence answers to direct questions?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also: How hard should I try to have a conversation when I get the results described in Example #2? Should I just let everything &quot;work itself out?&quot; And wait until &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; wants to talk? Or otherwise outgrows this phase? Or should I press harder? Or try something altogether different? Like go to a movie or something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17657" LastEditorUserId="17657" LastEditDate="2015-08-19T04:36:22.320" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T16:26:40.090" Title="12 y/o daughter gives one-word answers to every question" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21710" CreationDate="2015-08-19T05:28:00.993" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way might be to show &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; people are polite to one another. It's mostly because we are more likely to respond favorably to people who are nice to us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter sometimes has a tendency to just shout &quot;Water!&quot; when she is thirsty, which we almost always respond to with &quot;can you ask nicely?&quot;. If she does, we give her water immediately. If she doesn't, we often say &quot;I'm busy, I'll get it later&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether she's polite or not, we will give her water. But how fast and how nicely do depend on the way she asks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is also how it will be for the rest of her life, you don't &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to be nice but it helps people make an effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; lead by example. Make sure you are always polite to others and point out to your daughter how that behaviour helps. It's especially visible when you see other people being impolite and see how they are treated differently from you (ie in stores and restaurants).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T05:28:00.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21668" CreationDate="2015-08-19T11:50:41.333" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the previous answers in that you may not k ow the whole story (based on your short question), but I disagree that it's ever ok to tell a child they have no reason to cry. A child doesn't understand the difference between &quot;this doesn't warrant such an emotional response&quot; and &quot;you're not allowed to cry over this&quot;. I always cringe when I hear &quot;You're ok. Stop crying.&quot; On the playground when a kid falls or is pushed by another kid or whatever. Kids are like tiny teenagers; they are still learning what emotions are and how identify them, the appropriate way to express them, and, when necessary, how to control them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel a better response crying is acknowledging how you think they feel, validate that feeling, and offer how that feeling can be better expressed. But not tell them the way they expressed it (by crying) was wrong. They're still learning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my daughter has been crying every time my husband steps out if the room. He will be out for a moment and come right back, by for whatever reason, this upsets her. So I tell her &quot;You must be upset dada left the room and you miss him. That's ok. He's going to be right back! Do you want a hug (or this toy, or read a book, or help with a chore) while we wait?&quot; This usually does the trick. And she cries less every time and redirects her behavior because she has a better outlet. And she knows he always comes back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you stated, my adult perspective says there's no reason for her to cry. He just went to take out the trash and he's coming right back. But her perspective is that it made her sad. Who am I to tell her she can't be upset over that? An older child can be told &quot;I'm sorry you're sad. A great way to get through this is to _____&quot;. But telling them not to cry I would fear could backfire into them shutting down and not letting their feelings out at all. I know my answer isn't the popular one, but I wanted offer the other side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T11:50:41.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12513" CreationDate="2015-08-19T14:04:46.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a young child and even today as a 48.5 year old man, I wiggle my fingers in front of my eyes. I have done it all my life. Only recently did I figure out that what I was doing was helping myself focus as I am slightly ADHD. I imagine my fingers being as &quot;fire&quot; consuming the page in front of me, as I read. I did this most often as a child, while trying to read, because my mind was always racing and I was distracted from what I was trying to read and comprehend. I usually did it and do it when I am by myself, as I am very self-conscious of the activity when others are around me. I have been told that I will never have to worry about arthritis in my hands, because I do this quite often and it keeps my joints moving. For that I am thankful. Sometimes, when my fingers do get stiff, I start wiggling them and in no time, they are as limber as all get out and no pain at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child may be compensating for a slight deficiency in &quot;attention keeping and focusing&quot; or just burning off nervous energy. Although early on in my life, I saw it as a curse, because I was always getting into trouble by &quot;adults&quot; who did not understand what I was doing, but over the years I have not only accepted the activity as a necessary part of myself, but have come to see it as a blessing in my life, as it is now a power I possess and that no one but GOD or myself can take away from me. Believe it or not, it now adds a particular &quot;excitement&quot; to my life now as anytime I am having a challenge in staying focused, I just apply the technique and in no time I assimilate information that it takes many people much longer to assimilate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17662" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-19T15:53:00.613" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T15:53:00.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21710" CreationDate="2015-08-19T15:07:54.173" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;With social niceties like 'Please' and 'Thank You', teaching them is often a combination of training and understanding.  Both should be used together, in order to be most effective.  This is similar to learning arithmetic: you should learn &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; 2+2=4, but you also at some point need to memorize the basic sums in order to use them efficiently and progress to higher levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching your child why is crucial, in particular to him/her &lt;em&gt;meaning&lt;/em&gt; it; reminding your child that you are doing him/her a favor, and that using polite language makes you more happy about doing that favor.  I would never skip this step, and it should be first - and always part of the training, too.  I agree with Erik's methods, and that largely mimics ours: when our sons don't use please, we remind them that they should &lt;em&gt;because it makes us feel better about helping them&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Training, though, is also important.  As long as it's backed by understanding, repetition has value. It's very easy to know you should do something; it's much harder to remember to do so.  Brushing your teeth is much easier as a habit than remembering every day 'I don't want cavities/bad breath'.  Same for Please/Thank You, especially for a small child.  Getting him/her in the habit of saying it, via training, will help make it more likely that your child uses the words on a consistent basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T15:07:54.173" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21719" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21738" CreationDate="2015-08-19T16:09:44.503" Score="0" ViewCount="1120" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's the best way to teach a child to say &quot;sorry&quot; and mean it without just creating a mimic? I don't truly believe that simply forcing a child to say they are sorry for hitting another kid or taking a toy is going to teach them how to have true remorse for their actions and make corrections to their behavior. For context, my daughter is 19mo. Is it possible at her age? When is a good age to expect they are cognitively able to understand this concept?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T07:35:26.363" Title="Teaching a toddler to say &quot;sorry&quot; and mean it" Tags="|toddler|manners|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21712" CreationDate="2015-08-19T16:26:40.090" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with any relationship issue, I would recommend not trying to change &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;, but to work on changing &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;.  Work on becoming the kind of person a teen would want to open up to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you need to &lt;strong&gt;create opportunities&lt;/strong&gt;.  That means do activities together where talking is okay, but silences aren't awkward.  That eliminates movies because you can't talk.  Sporting events or a fair might work, but it's difficult to do those often enough.  Something like a project of her choice or chores is best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chores sounds odd, because it's often a source of conflict, but it's the most frequent opportunity you have.  When I was a teen, my Mom nagged me to do the dishes.  My Dad often just picked up a dish towel and quietly dried while I washed.  Guess which one I opened up to?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, &lt;strong&gt;dial back the pressure&lt;/strong&gt;.  If she thinks the only reason you're doing things with her is to force her to open up, she will resent the activities.  Just be patient and enjoy the activities for their own sake.  Do it without expecting anything in return.  Make it part of your routine.  It might take several weeks before she trusts you don't have an ulterior motive.  Planning a one-time event won't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, &lt;strong&gt;open up yourself&lt;/strong&gt;.  Tell her about your day and what's on your mind.  Tell her what you remember about being her age.  Tell her what you enjoyed about the latest book you read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if and when she does open up, &lt;strong&gt;don't judge or try to fix&lt;/strong&gt;.  Just listen, and &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201204/understanding-validation-way-communicate-acceptance&quot;&gt;validate&lt;/a&gt;.  Show confidence in her.  You can express confidence without leaving her hanging by saying something like, &quot;That's a difficult situation.  Did you want my help with it, or did you just want me to know?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T16:26:40.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21719" CreationDate="2015-08-19T18:34:41.623" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've witnessed my own children not truly display an understanding of apologies, picking up after themselves and other topics that I want them to be more empathetic about.  This has been frustrating for me, but I have found it is normal.  Here are some resources you can use as references.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2009/12/youll-be-sorry/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Janet Lansbury&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Over the years I have heard many of these forced apologies. I&#xA;  understand the parent’s need for them, but I have to admit they always&#xA;  make me squirm. To truly apologize requires empathy, and empathy&#xA;  develops in its own way and time, at a different pace for each child.&#xA;  So, often the child is not developmentally ready to understand, much&#xA;  less own the words she’s saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M. &lt;a href=&quot;http://life.familyeducation.com/emotional-development/discipline/41780.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;about toddler apologies&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Q: We make our two year old say, &quot;I'm sorry,&quot; when she hits someone,&#xA;  like her mother, brother or sister. She refuses at first, so we make&#xA;  her stand in a corner until she's ready to say it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Does a child this age know what it means to be sorry? Is she just&#xA;  saying the &quot;magic&quot; words? Should we continue to make her say she is&#xA;  sorry?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A: Your two year old does not yet have a hard-wired, internalized&#xA;  conscience. Nor is she intellectually at an age of reason (which&#xA;  usually begins at around two-and-a-half). Therefore, making her say&#xA;  &quot;I'm sorry,&quot; and putting her in a corner until she does will have no&#xA;  long-term effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow the link above to continue reading&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally an except from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/social/child-learning-to-say-im-sorry/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;parents.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Before a child can apologize, she has to realize she's done something&#xA;  wrong—a concept preschoolers and even 5-year-olds don't always grasp.&#xA;  &quot;Preschoolers are still in the 'me' phase, so they're not considering&#xA;  what's right or wrong,&quot; says Sherry Siman Maliken, a parent educator&#xA;  with the Parent Encouragement Program, in Kensington, Maryland. That's&#xA;  why parents and teachers often need to step in and point out when an&#xA;  apology is in order. With kids 2 and under, just focus on enforcing&#xA;  the rules—by learning them, your child will have less to apologize for&#xA;  later—and don't worry about coaxing a &quot;Sorry.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T18:34:41.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21719" CreationDate="2015-08-19T18:41:38.763" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children typically begin to develop self awareness between &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingcounts.org/information/timeline/baby-begins-to-develop-self-awareness-15-24-months/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;15 and 24 months old&lt;/a&gt; which is the skill necessary to begin to develop empathy , so your daughter is at a good age to be learning this. This is also the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingcounts.org/information/timeline/imitates-the-behavior-of-others-especially-adults-and-older-children-18-27-months/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;age&lt;/a&gt; where they well through imitating others, especially adults,  so one of the best ways to teach them is through modeling the desired behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's my experience that it is important that you model your interactions with your child as well as other adults. This can make it easier for them to understand as they have better access to their own feeling that those of others and learning the first is an important part of learning the second. My daughter gets very upset if you raise your voice to her so we have learned to say sorry to her when this happens, as a way of modeling the behavior, and use it as a way of talking about what people might be feeling. This helps give context to why we are sorry and helps her come up with ways to avoid this in future. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example: &#xA;&quot;I'm sorry I shouted at you. I can see it makes you upset. Daddy was worried that you might get hurt if you kept doing that and I get frustrated when you don't listen when I am trying to keep you safe. What could we do differently next time?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3270" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T18:41:38.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21719" CreationDate="2015-08-19T18:56:05.523" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 20 month old who said &quot;I'm sorry&quot; because he was told to wouldn't mean he had internalized sorry at having done wrong.  It just means he is willing to do whatever he needs to get you to stop being upset at him.  But most of our manners are made up of custom and repetition.  When someone tells you &quot;I'm sorry&quot; does it necessarily mean that they are actually sorry to the point something has fundamentally changed inside them and that the thing they did (and had to apologize for) is something they wouldn't do again?  Probably not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Haven't you ever said sorry for something you didn't think you needed to apologize for?  Courtesy and respect needs to exist apart from how we feel about the actions and objects that they act upon.  If someone is upset by something we said or did, saying sorry isn't necessarily an admission that they had the &quot;right&quot; to be upset.  Sometimes it is just a way to live in harmony when you disagree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As children, we learn to say please even when we think the object of our desire is ours by right.  We say thank you even though we don't actually feel gratitude.  We say sorry when we don't feel any real sorrow at our actions.  Later on, as we mature, hopefully we internalize the concepts behind the courtesies.  But if we are never taught the habit, the internalization is less likely to occur.  If we only behave with respect or courtesy toward people who we felt &quot;deserved it&quot;, society would disintegrate, or at least become a much more contentious place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about millions of people, many of them living so close to strangers whose lifestyles and appearances are offensive to them that if the walls of their apartments were to disappear they could spit in their neighbor's morning cup of coffee.  We don't have to agree that our neighbors &lt;em&gt;deserve&lt;/em&gt; our courtesy, but we all need to buy into the social contract that says we all must learn to have manners just because manners are good for all of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T18:56:05.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14020" CreationDate="2015-08-19T20:00:00.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Social Networking Sites (SNSs) and Social Media in general are important mechanisms in building and mirroring one's social networks. There is a general tendency to think of SNSs as more dangerous than general social interactions. While that might be true in some cases (e,g, cyber bullying), SNSs tend to amplify our networking abilities and access to different social networks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Privacy issues become more salient when discussing social media because of context collapse (&lt;a href=&quot;http://itlaw.wikia.com/wiki/Context_collapse&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://itlaw.wikia.com/wiki/Context_collapse&lt;/a&gt;) where social groups that are usually disjointed in our day-to-day interactions become less divided online. For example, all your Facebook audience would see your posts unless you create lists and use other privacy settings to assure that only a subset of your Facebook &quot;friends&quot; actually gain access to your posts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving children access to social media sites at younger ages will allow them to train on the proper strategies to adopt when managing their social relations on social media sites. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With sufficient parental guidance, children would gain from use of social media on the long run. Remember, you cannot always watch out for them on social media. There will come a day when your children have to exercise their own judgement on such sites. Research as shown that parents cannot always keep tabs of the children's use of social media. &#xA;Sources: e.g. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08838150802437396#abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1460-2466.2012.01669.x/full&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17667" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T20:00:00.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-19T20:07:27.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Belgium, in the early seventies, I was forced, in school, to write with my left hand. My brother in law who had the same age went to another school and wasn't forced to change.&#xA;Recently, somebody showed me an old test used by family doctors to tell witch was the dominant hand.   -&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Give the child (or adult) a paper in front, &#xA;give him 2 pens, one in the left and one in the right hand, &#xA;cover the hands by a paper so the person doesn't see the pens nor the paper under it. &#xA;let the person write number 1 to 9 eg starting at the top of the paper, next number under the previous  OR  younger children can be asked to draw little things eg an apple, a ball, the letters of their name the one unter the other - any little thing within their capacities.&#xA;If there is a dominant hand, it should be easy to determine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17669" LastActivityDate="2015-08-19T20:07:27.113" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21730" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21734" CreationDate="2015-08-19T22:18:06.630" Score="9" ViewCount="1574" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old wanted a dog. I told him that I need to see him take responsibility first for a small pet before getting him a dog - Plus, my yard is not exactly animal friendly right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got him a small beta fish, the tank, the food, and all the cool stuff. I took careful instructions from the pet store expert, and had my son do all the feeding every day, under my supervision. This morning, Bob (the fish) was laying sideways in his tank, not moving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe quite firmly that it was not my son's fault - he did everything I told him - but Bob is officially dead this morning. While I want to ensure he learns some lesson from this, the fish died in only a few days. My son knows he's dead, but he doesn't seem fazed by it yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a teachable moment here, even if I believe the fish died of natural causes and not by my son's actions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3700" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T08:56:26.510" Title="First pet (fish) just died. Is there a teachable moment?" Tags="|pre-schooler|learning|pets|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21731" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21750" CreationDate="2015-08-19T22:25:57.120" Score="0" ViewCount="194" Body="&lt;p&gt;There has been some work on the use of technology by toddlers (for example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://connection.ebscohost.com/c/articles/95402302/revisiting-early-use-technology-critical-shift-from-how-young-too-young-to-how-much-just-right&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this paper&lt;/a&gt;). By and large, there are some advantages to the use of some of these technologies by children. For example, even two-year-old children started collaborating more and working in concert even when they were using their personal iPads (see link above). But there are other disadvantages that might arise through technology use such as access to violence (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.children-and-technology.ed.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/children_0-8_and_digital_technology_UK_report_2015.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What kind of devices do/did you allow your toddlers to use? If a toddler wants to use an iPad that the parents own, how were they allowed to use the iPad? Are there any apps that would be interesting/useful for them when using such technology?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17667" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-10T17:21:18.677" LastActivityDate="2018-09-10T17:21:18.677" Title="What devices should toddlers be allowed to use?" Tags="|toddler|tablet-computer|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-08-21T14:50:57.080" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21732" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21746" CreationDate="2015-08-19T22:37:49.190" Score="4" ViewCount="302" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my general experience, the majority of people I have met have told at least one lie (by admittance or direct observance) and their parents had also told them to never lie in the past. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, I am sure this also holds true for the population of this and other sites, and most of the people here would have told at least one lie despite being told to never lie. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since children almost always grow up to tell lies despite being taught to never lie, is there any benefit to this approach over teaching them how to choose when to and when not to lie by weighing the respective benefits and drawbacks? It seems from a naïve perspective that this would better prepare them for a world when lying is extremely common and sometimes even arguably necessary for certain jobs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12018" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T06:58:13.903" Title="What benefits are there to teaching a child to never lie?" Tags="|lying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21596" CreationDate="2015-08-20T02:55:17.637" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have learned a lot working on my new answer to this question. I collected some literature and took some notes from them to add here. I hope this will satisfy the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The average age of learning about ones owns the sexuality tendencies is 10, 14 for accepting the identity, talking about it with friends is 16 and 17 for talking to parents, well according to the cultural fabric of D'Augelli, Hersberg &amp;amp; Pilkington back in 1998 (D'Augelli, Hersberg &amp;amp; Pilkington, 1998).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Risk behavior based on the stigma of the hetero-normative sexist culture towards queer people (including lesbians) can lead to suicide, violence, homicide, drug use, alcohol use, bullying, depression. It takes toughness to face the music and search for a positive self image and when faces with violence then it can be even harder (Davis, Saltzburg og Locke, 2009; Morrow, 2006; Russel o.fl, 2011, Hegna og Wichstrøm, 2007; Pharr, 2000) failed suicide attempts are part of the history of 12% of non-queer young USA resident while for a queer young USA resident it is staggering 28% (Morrow, 2006; Marshal o.fl, 2011)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Positive and supportive social work has given good results in reducing risk behavior, approach that is not based on sex but the lived identity as a valued person. (Appelby og Anastas, 1998; Coleman og Remafedi, 1989) it is possible to let go of the phobic sexism and hetero-normative attitude and show acceptance support and love (Herek, 2004; Pharr, 2000; Røthing, 2008). Experimenting in save a environment with queer gender roles without normative expectations and positive emotional development can develop into a good self image over time. (Rosario, Schrimshaw og Hunter, 2008; Savin-Williams, 2001; Sigrún Sveinbjörnsdóttir o.fl.,2010; Van Den Bergh og Crisp, 2004; Dillon o.fl, 2004; Crisp 2006) It would also help to bring in some visible role models that have had fun with the emotional maturity while begin queer (Wichstrøm og Hegna, 2003)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discussion&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My rule is to not stigmatize being queer of the emerging lived realities of gender, sex, or sexuality. If there is stigmatized in the society around me than I like to protect my family from it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reason: Any stigmatization that a parent will hold and make any suggestion towards will in many cases internalize in the child making the child hate it self which in tun will lead to many problems such as risk behavior or other self harm. Studies have been published that the gender / sexuality identities have already formed from the age of six or seven and self harm based on internalized stigmatization may start at ages around puberty (Dietmar Ebke, 2006, private presentation)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I like to be critical of any treatment that a queer young person might get in counseling. If the counseling is not based on support for experimentation in a save environment and reducing risk behavior by searching for age appropriate outlets for this experimentation with the aim to build good, confident and strong self identity that reduces risk behavior and challenges the stigma and sexist hate that is to be found in what should be our loving community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Refferences&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Appelby, G. A. &amp;amp; Anastas, J. W. (&lt;strong&gt;1998&lt;/strong&gt;). &lt;em&gt;Not just a passing phase: Social work with gay, lesbian, and bisexual people.&lt;/em&gt; New York: Columbia University Press.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coleman, E. &amp;amp; Remafedi, G. (&lt;strong&gt;1989&lt;/strong&gt;). Gay, lesbian, and bisexual adolescents: A critical challenge to counselors. &lt;em&gt;Journal of counseling and development&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;68&lt;/strong&gt;(1), 36-40.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crisp, C. (&lt;strong&gt;2006&lt;/strong&gt;). The gay affirmative practice scale (GAP): A new measure for assessing cultural competence with gay and lesbian clients. &lt;em&gt;Social Work&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;51&lt;/strong&gt;(2), 115-126.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;D'Augelli, R.R., Hershberger, S.L. &amp;amp; Pilkington, N. W. (&lt;strong&gt;1998&lt;/strong&gt;). Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth and their families: Disclosure of sexual orientation and its consequences. &lt;em&gt;American Journal of Orthopsychitry&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;69&lt;/strong&gt;(3), 361-371. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Davis, T. S., Saltzburg, S. &amp;amp; Locke, C. R.(&lt;strong&gt;2009&lt;/strong&gt;) Supporting the emotional and psychological well being of sexual minority youth: Youth ideas for action. &lt;em&gt;Children and Youth Services Review&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;31&lt;/strong&gt;, 1030-1041. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dillon, F.R., Worthington, R.L., Savoy, H.B., Rooney, S.C., Becker-Shuttle, A. &amp;amp; Guerra, R.M. (&lt;strong&gt;2004&lt;/strong&gt;). On becoming allies: A qualitative study of lesbian-, gay-, and bisexual-affirmative counselor training. &lt;em&gt;Counselor Education and Supervision&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;43&lt;/strong&gt;(3), 162-178.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hegna, K. &amp;amp; Wichstrøm, L. (&lt;strong&gt;2007&lt;/strong&gt;). Suicide attemts among Norweigan gay, lesbian and bisexual youths. &lt;em&gt;Acta Socialogica&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;50&lt;/strong&gt;(1), 21-37. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Herek, G. M. (&lt;strong&gt;2004&lt;/strong&gt;). Beyond &quot;homophobia&quot;: Thinking about sexual Predjudice and stigma in the twenty-first century. &lt;em&gt;Sexuality Research &amp;amp; Social Policy&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;1&lt;/strong&gt;(2), 6-24. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Marshal, M.P., Dietz, L. J., Friedman, M. S., Stall, R., Smith, H. A., McGingley, J. and more. (&lt;strong&gt;2011&lt;/strong&gt;). Suicidality and depression disparties between sexual minority and heterosexual youth: A meta analytic review. &lt;em&gt;Journal of Adolescent Health&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;49&lt;/strong&gt;, 115123.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Morrow, D.F. (&lt;strong&gt;2006&lt;/strong&gt;). Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender adolescents. Í D. F. Morrow og L. Messinger (ed.), &lt;em&gt;Sexual orientation and gender expression in social work practice: working with gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people&lt;/em&gt; (bls. 177-195). New York Chichester: Columbia University Press.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pharr, S. (&lt;strong&gt;2000&lt;/strong&gt;). Homophobia: A weapon of sexism. Í M. Plott og L. Umanski (ed.), &lt;em&gt;Making sense of women’s lives: An introduction to women’s studies&lt;/em&gt; (bls. 424–438). Oxford: Rowman &amp;amp; Littlefield Publishers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rosario, M., Schrimshaw, E. W. &amp;amp; Hunter, J. (&lt;strong&gt;2008&lt;/strong&gt;) Predicting different patterns of sexual identity development over time among lesbian, gay, and bisexual youths: A cluster analytic approach. &lt;em&gt;American Journal of Community Psychology&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;42&lt;/strong&gt;,&#xA;266-282.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Russel, S. T., Ryan, C., Toomey, R. B., Diaz, R. M. &amp;amp; Sanchez, J. (&lt;strong&gt;2011&lt;/strong&gt;). Lesbian, gay, bisexual og transgender adolescent school victimization: Implications for young adult health and adjustment. &lt;em&gt;Journal of School Health&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;81&lt;/strong&gt;(5), 223-230.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Røthing, Å. (&lt;strong&gt;2008&lt;/strong&gt;). Homotolerance and heteronormativity in Norwegian classrooms. &lt;em&gt;Gender and Education&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;20&lt;/strong&gt;(3), 253-266. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Savin-Williams, R. C. (&lt;strong&gt;2001&lt;/strong&gt;). A critique of research on sexual-minority youths. &lt;em&gt;Journal of Adolescence&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;24&lt;/strong&gt;, 5-13. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sigrún Sveinbjörnsdóttir, Þóroddur Bjarnason, Ársæll M. Arnarson &amp;amp; Andrea Hjálmarsdóttir. (&lt;strong&gt;2010&lt;/strong&gt;). Lífsánægja Samkynhneigðra unglinga í 10. bekk. &lt;em&gt;Sálfræðiritið – Tímarit Sálfræðingafélags Íslands&lt;/em&gt;; &lt;strong&gt;15&lt;/strong&gt;, 23-36. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Van Den Bergh, N. &amp;amp; Crisp, C.(&lt;strong&gt;2004&lt;/strong&gt;). Defining culturally competent practice with sexual minorities: Implications for social work education and practice. &lt;em&gt;Journal of Social Work Education&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;40&lt;/strong&gt;(2), 221-238.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wichstrøm, L. &amp;amp; Hegna, K. (&lt;strong&gt;2003&lt;/strong&gt;). Sexual orientation and suicide attempt: A longitudinal study of the general Norwegian adolescent population. &lt;em&gt;Journal of&#xA;Abnormal Psychology&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;112&lt;/strong&gt;(1), 144-151. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastEditorUserId="5008" LastEditDate="2015-08-20T15:33:10.770" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T15:33:10.770" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21730" CreationDate="2015-08-20T05:41:45.467" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;But which exactly greatly depends on your child and his experiences so far. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Death is final&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Really. If you are four you haven't necessarily made that experience yet. Families are smaller and live apart, neighbourhoods less connected than a few generations ago. First-hand experience with death is rare even for adults.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Death is inevitable&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Every living thing will eventually die. Some creatures have only a few weeks, some will live for hundreds of years. But in the end, they will die. Even if you take great care and make no mistake. Sometimes death can be anticipated, sometimes it's sudden. In the end, what counts it's what you made of your time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Death is not the end of the world&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Life goes on for those still living. We are sad, but we carry on. (You could include some concept of afterlife here depending on your belief and whether you are willing to include pets in it.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Death has its social customs and traditions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;We respect our dead and celebrate their life with a funeral or similar. (I would suggest &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; throwing the fish in the trash.) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, if in the end your son really doesn't care, let it go. You &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; have to live up to your promise of a dog, though...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T05:41:45.467" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21730" CreationDate="2015-08-20T05:45:35.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many pet stores have a guarantee period. In my town they all offer 7 days; if I take the fish back to the store, along with a sample of the water from the tank, they test it, determine whether the death was caused by water conditions, improper handling, or possibly a condition the fish had before purchase (and in the latter case, they offer a replacement). Check your receipt or contact the store to determine their policy. (Do keep the water sample for testing separate from the fish, please!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The teachable moment here would be either:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the fish had some disease from the pet store, confirmation that it wasn't his fault, and an opportunity to try again, if that's something he wants to do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If water conditions or handling were the cause, then he'll have the opportunity to learn what was done wrong, how to seek answers from knowledgeable experts, and hopefully gain a deeper appreciation of the responsibility one takes on by being a pet owner.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17352" LastEditorUserId="17352" LastEditDate="2015-08-20T06:10:12.700" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T06:10:12.700" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-20T05:48:23.843" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 61 years old.  When aged 6, I broke my left arm.  Through grade 3 I would write using the hand that was most &quot;convenient&quot;, as in which side of the paper the writing utensil sat.  I also wrote on blackboards most often with my right hand.  Today, I write and eat left-handed, but play most sports right-handed.  I do housework with either, which is actually quite convenient when cleaning corners or ironing.  I sincerely hope you allow your dear child to develop THIS at his own pace.  Clearly he is not developmentally delayed in other physical/mental arenas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17673" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T05:48:23.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21719" CreationDate="2015-08-20T07:35:26.363" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Demanding a specific action from a toddler always bears the risk of escalation if both toddler and parent are strong-willed. Ask yourself wether you are willing to enter into a battle of wills and humiliation over a matter of manners/morals. I've been there and don't want to go there again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my experience, it's easier and more effective to concentrate on being a role model. Demonstrate (without explaining) to the child that saying and feeling sorry has good effects and is an honorable thing to do. And do the obvious: repair the damage, comfort the injured before even turning to the injurer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to witness a child refusing to say sorry, but it makes me cringe to hear them say a forced sorry. And often, if you let them be, they will come back later and apologize in an honest and touching way. Conscience grows in children and doesn't have to be built.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17674" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T07:35:26.363" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6450" CreationDate="2015-08-20T08:42:43.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an atheist with children and a mildly religious wife, family and school, this question keeps troubling me, too. I have found no answer yet. And I think that the question is based one some misconceptions, which I will try to point out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, imagine a child who only gets exposed to people of the same faith/nonfaith. A child who only gets to know devout Christians, or only die-hard sceptics, or only money-worshippers, who all agree on everything. Luckily, you will hardly find such a poor child. Luckily, most children are told one thing by one adult, and another thing by the next. That way they learn to deal with cognitive dissonance and make up their own opinion. It's troubling for everybody, but that's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, imagine a child who gets shielded away from any belief system, so that he/she can choose freely at the age of 15, as you suggest. I hear this idea a lot, but it's totally unrealistic, isn't it? Nobody has a &quot;free mind&quot;, and then picks a belief. Religion is not something you choose freely as a teenager. It's an environment thing, it's a social phenomenon. People get soaked in it, and then it sticks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot not influence your child. Be open with your opinion and tolerant with other opinions. Don't overthink this before you actually have a child. Once you have one, muddle through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17674" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T08:42:43.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21730" CreationDate="2015-08-20T11:27:42.670" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son wasn't as connected to the fish (who he couldn't touch) as he would be a puppy (who would have personality and follow your son around), so it's not surprising that he isn't upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would use this as a moment to teach the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Small animals are delicate and have shorter life spans than dogs or humans. It's natural and no ones fault when it's time for them to pass.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he gets upset stress that you both took care of the fish carefully and together. He could also do something to &quot;remember&quot; the fish like draw a picture. This would alow him to feel like he's doing something to help instead of being powerless in the situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I wouldn't do this now but if you decide to get more fish you should do a little research on water quality and make sure there wasn't something off that did kill the fish. I say don't do this now because you don't want your son to think you did something wrong, but you do want to double check before getting another fish under the same conditions. Fish are so sensitive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="3700" LastEditDate="2015-08-20T16:18:27.203" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T16:18:27.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21741" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21743" CreationDate="2015-08-20T12:42:03.840" Score="3" ViewCount="2393" Body="&lt;p&gt;My older boy is turning 3 years old soon. And he still does not build meaningful sentence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is being raised inside Czech Republic, and we, both parents are Czech speaking. But thing is, that we do listen a lot English and even play him English speaking fairy tales.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By his progress, I feel, that he is naturally bilingual. Sometimes he says &quot;car&quot; and sometimes he says &quot;auto&quot;, which is &quot;car&quot; in Czech (while pointing at car in both cases)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So while I am bit worried that my son still does not talk properly, I hope it is normal with bilingual kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But still, I would like to check: Is there any parent from multilingual culture? At which age started your kid to talk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9700" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T21:03:50.740" Title="When do bilingual kids start to talk fluently?" Tags="|toddler|learning|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21742" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6450" CreationDate="2015-08-20T12:55:09.610" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This problem seems to come up a lot, and I think it comes for a large part from what &lt;strong&gt;stuffe&lt;/strong&gt; mentioned in his answer. People put religion on a special pedestal, like it's a more important/valid/respectable/believable thing than any other opinion people hold. This causes the situation to be approached very differently from most other discussions, because both sides often buy strongly into the idea that you can't tell a religious person they are wrong because that's rude and religion is special/important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you take that pedestal away, it becomes a different story, and suddenly talking about religion is more like talking about opposing political views. Also a discussion where people can get angry and loud, but at least one where saying the other person is wrong is somewhat acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, next is the idea that there is such an idea as &amp;quot;the true path&amp;quot;, which is still pretty common with politics, where many people will refuse to accept that they might be wrong or that &amp;quot;the other&amp;quot; might have a good point. If you can take &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; away, suddenly talking about religion or politics turns into something closer to discussion favorite flavor of ice-cream. Without elevated importance or one-true-way-ism, a discussion about beliefs becomes just that: a discussion about what you believe. We never hear people asking &amp;quot;How to explain my child that I prefer chocolate, even though most people around him prefer vanilla&amp;quot; precisely because we accept that it's just a personal thing. And we would very quickly disassociate with people who keep hammering on how it's a sin to eat chocolate ice-cream. (The very idea sounds ridiculous, does it not?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So... to go into the actual answer, I have below &lt;em&gt;The 4 Rules&lt;/em&gt; you should teach your child to teach it to deal with this situation. (And many others)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Rule 1: There are no pedestals&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are only opinions and personal convictions. One's belief in gods is not more respectable than another's belief in alien visitations. Treat all of them the same way. People have a right to their opinions, and it's a basic virtue to not be an ass to people by crapping on their beliefs, but that should be extended to all beliefs &lt;em&gt;equally&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the most part, this will come down to pulling a few things down from their established pedestals so that they can be discussed for what they are: opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When someone shares their belief with you, accept their opinions, say &amp;quot;that's nice&amp;quot;, and maybe share your own. If they respond to your opinion with something that gives you the idea they treat your beliefs as less than their own (whether it is because you follow a different religion, no religion at all, or because you like a different football club or whatever) simply point out that both are just opinions and that you will refuse to discuss the topic unless both opinions are on equal footing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(This will probably end most religious discussions, which is a good thing: there is nothing useful to be had from discussing religion with someone who believes their religion is more valuable than a dissenting opinion.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you can really accept that there are no pedestals (and this is not as easy at it sounds; you &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; struggle with this, I still do) then you can discuss anything like a rational human being and you can cut short any pointless discussion with someone who put their opinion on a pedestal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Rule 2: Accept that people can be wrong&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because a lot of them simply are. Topic does not matter; you will bump into people who are wrong &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt;. This is something you will need to learn to deal with. We are often taught, sometimes openly and sometimes less so, that people with authority are correct, but this is simply nonsense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means that you will have to teach your child that you, the parent, might be wrong. His teacher might be wrong. The local pastor might be wrong. The policemen might be wrong. The president might be wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That also means that when grandma says you are going to hell, you will fairly quickly start thinking &amp;quot;she just thinks that, she is probably wrong&amp;quot;. It gives you a pretty good defense against strongly worded (unfounded) opinions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what you need to do when people tell you things, is think for yourself about whether they are correct. Think about why they think that, what they have to back their opinion up with, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you get into a religious discussion and someone says &amp;quot;God is against it&amp;quot;, feel free to think they might be wrong and ask them &amp;quot;Why do you think that?&amp;quot; If they say &amp;quot;Just because&amp;quot;, that means you can store it under &amp;quot;their opinion&amp;quot; with the backing arguments of &amp;quot;none at all&amp;quot;, and it will hold no value to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they complain that they should not have to back it up, because it is their religion, remind them about rule 1: everything is just opinion; there are no pedestals. An unfounded argument about religion is just as worthless as an unfounded argument on any other topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Rule 3: Accept that you can be wrong (and probably are)&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This one is even harder, and even more critical. There is a near unlimited amount of information in the world and you don't know much of it. So realize that a lot of things you believe, especially those you have for a long time, might be wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be willing to hear people out. Accept that maybe your opinion of them, or of their opinion, or their religion, was unfounded. If you have believed something since you were 6, there is a good chance that opinion needs some updating. (After all, you probably believed in Santa too, back then)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This one is very important to teach children, because it will prevent them from brain-lock. That is a very common condition among adults, where once they believe something, they will &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; stop believing that thing because they refuse to accept that they could be wrong. It is how indoctrination works, and it's the last thing you would want to do to a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also means you will never stop learning and will approach all situations with the idea that you could improve from them. Even religious discussions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And yes, it also means you will remain critical regarding these rules, which is a good thing! After all, I might also be wrong.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Rule 4: Many people will refuse to accept these rules&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of people will adamantly refuse to admit they might be wrong about their religion, or will absolutely not accept their religion is just their opinion. You will need to learn to deal with these people (which is the crux of your question, I think).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately, the other 3 rules gives you plenty to work with. Ultimately, it is not within your power to change the opinion of a person who doesn't want their opinion changes, but then that is not the goal either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You only need to accept that they are wrong, they keep their opinion on a pedestal and they don't want to have their mind changed: that means the only thing left to do is cut off any discussion from happening. Respectfully, if you can manage, or more strongly if you must.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal is to raise your child to think critically, challenge everything, not accept easily, be willing to discuss anything and revise opinions based on that. Once you do that, you can drop your child in any community and they will have the tools to deal with differences in opinion without being swayed by unfounded opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T12:55:09.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21741" CreationDate="2015-08-20T13:00:11.923" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has recently turned 4 and was raised in somewhat the same way. We speak Dutch to her, but she sees a lot of English videos and stories, so she also picks up some Dutch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She started making proper sentences shortly after she turned 3 and is currently doing quite well. She occasionally mixes English and Dutch words and understands that they mean the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However I feel it is important to point out: what you are describing is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; bi-lingual education. My daughter cannot make English sentences, because she does not have enough experience speaking the language herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has a friend who is being raised fully bilingual, but that means the parents actively engage the child in English conversations, as do his teachers. The result is that he (at 5 years old) can hold full English conversations and build English sentences, which is something my daughter cannot keep up with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't feel it's strange that she will only start building Czech sentences with the occasional English word intermixed; I think that is to be expected if your only contact with English is from video/audio.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T13:00:11.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6450" CreationDate="2015-08-20T14:21:21.650" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I actively deal with a situation similar to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the children were younger I explained to them that not everyone believes the same things. For example, there are many different religions with similar views as well as those with different views -- including the view that religions may have the story wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explained, at the time, though now they may understand better, that I felt it was inappropriate for people to attempt to have them believe any particular thing until they were older and were able to understand the issue well enough to decide for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This type of explanation avoids putting me at direct odds with the views of everyone else and I quite simply don't have to suggest I disagree with anyone else's view. So, if the kids say anything at all it may simply be that daddy says that I should wait until I'm older to decide what I believe as then I'll understand the issues better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, this doesn't mean I am aware of all the pro-religion messages or even how they feel about them. What I have attempted to do is give them a reason to resist simply accepting whatever other people tell them while they are very young -- which is how most religion propagates. They also know that I feel that taking advantage of young people, by giving them beliefs instead of letting them form their own beliefs, is not fair to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As someone with a different view I do share elements of my thoughts on these matters. For example, I suggest I wished I believed in heaven and that people go there after they pass. It would be so much nicer to believe those happy statements -- and that I'm sure it makes some of life's harder issues a little easier to deal with. However, it's also clear that it is possible to deal with life's issues without the ability to lean on religion during tough times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do a similar thing with food issues. Everyone wants to push treats, crap, pop, and other overly sugared foods on my children. I feed them less processed foods and tell them that as their father it is my responsibility to look after their health the best I can until they are old enough to understand the decisions they are making. When they understand the issues involved well enough it will be okay with me if they make decisions that I would not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This concept, of non-decision or stewardship of health, mental or physical, is something they can understand. I can tell my son, the older of the two, respects this answer and realizes that I am trying to leave the doors open for him to walk through once he realizes what those doors entail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, honestly, whatever my children decide on their own, once they are able to consider the issues involved, will not be a concern for me. If they want to be outwardly religious then I'll just ask that they respect my views and not bother me with it. I'd prefer otherwise but I'll accept whatever I get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is another important issue to me - I am very clear with them that when I am upset at a behavior or event that my love for them is not affected. I know when I was a young child that I thought my dad disliked me when he was upset with me when I'd done something annoying. Removing that type of thought at an early age, about parental love varying based on behavior, will hopefully make things easier later in life if they have any large issues to share with me (potentially including religious views).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, tell them not to make up their minds until they are older and have the ability to understand life's issues more deeply. You may be able to insulate them from undue influence, including your own, and have them look at things with their own capable facilities as they grow up. They will certainly understand, to varying degrees as they age, if you explain a parental responsibility to act in their best interests until they can take over the reigns. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, during the teen years all bets will be off! ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T14:21:21.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21745" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-20T14:36:06.260" Score="2" ViewCount="178" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old ids completely toilet trained day and night but she insists on wearing training pants to bed . tried all ways but she becomes very distressed at the thought of not wearing one&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17679" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T15:44:38.347" Title="7year old is toilet trained but insists on nappy for bedtime" Tags="|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21732" CreationDate="2015-08-20T14:37:42.697" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are asking about something that happens in various subject areas.  For example, most of us hear strict grammar rules but then find that pretty much any serious author will ignore those rules as they deem fit for the occasion. We define rules but we don't really expect those rules to be followed all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The real issue about lying would appear to be that it will be somewhat negative or destructive with respect to relationships. Avoiding going down that road, and potentially forming a habit of lying about things that shouldn't be lied about, seems like a very good plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, as we all know, it is important to lie socially. As children develop judgement they will eventually know that they should answer &quot;No&quot; when asked if someone's clothing makes them look fat. Or, in a simpler sense, saying something like &quot;It's great to meet you&quot; or &quot;I'm happy to see you again&quot; as part of a social situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As people age, or develop skills in the subject at hand, most of the time they pick up clues about when the rules should be broken. A bit of guidance may be needed if they are taking the rules too literally or too liberally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastEditorUserId="17123" LastEditDate="2015-08-20T15:13:12.670" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T15:13:12.670" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21741" CreationDate="2015-08-20T15:20:33.423" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer for this is essentially the same as it is for monolingual (and polylingual) children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While each individual is unique, the advancement to the use of full sentence structure, as opposed to isolated words, arises from how the individual is exposed to language. In the first years of life, everything is new, so the brain is in constant learning mode. Even in infancy, before children ever begin to articulate speech, they are constantly watching, listening, feeling, tasting.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When parents commit to always using the same speech patterns when talking to their children as they use in everyday conversation with adults (i.e., full sentence structure;&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cbsnews.com/news/speaking-to-babies-in-long-sentences-boosts-language-development/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; not using &quot;baby&quot; versions of words like &quot;choo-choo&quot; for &quot;train&quot;;&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.todaysparent.com/toddler/toddler-development/baby-talk-bad-for-toddler-development/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1032659/how-babies-learn-language-baby-talk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;3&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; not intentionally mispronouncing words&lt;sup&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; in an imitation of the common mispronunciations children often make, e.g., &quot;brush your teef&quot;, &quot;watch dis&quot;, etc.&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://books.google.com/books?id=nM6nTZUL-BwC&amp;amp;pg=PT239&amp;amp;lpg=PT239&amp;amp;dq=baby+talk+mispronounced&amp;amp;source=bl&amp;amp;ots=Rp-vfag6W6&amp;amp;sig=SH_eh4F1hDsNa497huf55HwWyMA&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ved=0CB0Q6AEwADgKahUKEwjypNWVxLjHAhUMXB4KHbQ4A-A#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=mispronounce&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;), those children tend to speak in complete sentences themselves at an earlier age; learn words, grammar, and syntax more quickly; and generally develop their communications skills more readily; than do children of parents that take the opposite approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For multilingual children, this concept can simply be extended to account for the degree to which they are exposed to each language. If the parents speak one language natively and a second language less than fluently, the child will tend to become far more fluent in the first language, unless also exposed to the second language by other speakers that &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; fluent. If exposed to full sentences in the first language, and mostly isolated words in the second, they may more easily integrate those words into their speech than the parents do, but will tend to only use the syntactical structure of the first language, in terms of phrasing, clause separation, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for the specific case here, the best way for a parent to promote the use of full sentence structure is to commit to always using full sentences themselves when speaking to (or around!) the child. Obviously, to teach specific words you'll need to place focus on those words individually, but make efforts to always integrate those new words into full sentences as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17352" LastEditorUserId="17352" LastEditDate="2015-08-20T21:03:50.740" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T21:03:50.740" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21745" CreationDate="2015-08-20T15:44:38.347" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not worry. I would let the child have her training pants if she feels comfort in that. I would allow her even to use the same training pants for a few nights in a row (if clean) and suggesting she use the training pants over some underpants in order for them to keep clean longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try to start treating the training pants like any other clothing, and try to keep the same one in the room (again only if clean), letting it become old and broken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T15:44:38.347" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-20T15:58:33.883" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many good answers here, but the reason for making a chose is to select the hand that is to train the writing. Small mussels and memory training with writing is of the essence and it will take double the time to train both hands taking time from other crucial developmental activity and tutoring time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One nice trick to help the child select the hand it wants to use for writing is to percent it with a watch / wrist clock. Model putting the watch on your own hand and explain that we use one hand for the watch and the other for writing. Then let the child have the watch for two weeks while you help teach the child how to use it. The child is faced with a chose on witch hand the watch should go and it can help it choose a hand for writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a fun trick as the parents and child share some time with each other and helps the child learn how to use a watch at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T15:58:33.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21731" CreationDate="2015-08-20T16:07:57.080" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The tradition we have with the ipad and other screen devise is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.forbes.com/sites/jordanshapiro/2013/12/04/research-says-parents-and-kids-should-play-video-games-together/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;not to allow the toddler to be alone on the machine&lt;/a&gt;, and only for a few minutes at a time (20-40 min). When the time is up we brake into other activity like eating or what ever we had planed so there is no Drama or tantrums that the toy is taken away from the child. We do this so that the child has an idea about how to use the technology without taking to much time from other things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastEditorUserId="5008" LastEditDate="2015-08-21T00:20:11.677" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T00:20:11.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21731" CreationDate="2015-08-20T16:07:57.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it is not so much about what devices/apps should be allowed but about the time limits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter, now 3.5 is allowed to use the iPhone or the Laptop, but we try to limit it to max. half an hour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From experience she rarely stops using electronic devices herself, we have to enforce the limit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She likes browsing photos, Videos on YouTube, Skype (with her grandparents or cousin)  and Tamagotchi like animal apps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has friends who are using devices a lot more than her, but i think at this age it is enough to know the basic idea how they work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T16:07:57.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21753" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-20T21:55:26.333" Score="0" ViewCount="780" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not concerned about the fact she physically hurts herself by jumping the gate, she is as tough as they come. She screams so loud every time I walk down the stairs and is up the gate within  seconds. I just worry about long term mental issues. My elder daughter has never been a problem. I put them to bed at the same time, seperate rooms and allow my 5 year old the light on as the younger one can't see her room. Either my 5 year old, my wife or i will read her a quiet story and we make it clear that the elder one has gone to bed. But the second we move away from the bed, she is crying for a 'cuggle' and as we leave the room, the screaming becomes deafening. We have been hard with her on this issue but, it seems to re-occur every couple of nights. Am I doing the right thing? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17684" LastActivityDate="2017-11-16T14:32:06.383" Title="I have just watched my 22 month old dive head first over the gate on her bedroom 5 times after putting her to back to bed 50-60 times" Tags="|toddler|discipline|bedtime|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21754" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21757" CreationDate="2015-08-20T22:04:43.277" Score="11" ViewCount="929" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-year-old has been off of all technology for many months, and finally earned it back. He gets to play a 1/2 hour a day on my old iPod Touch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ending this time has always been stressful, and generally ends with me grabbing it long after he's supposed to give it to me (I just just just just just...), and him being angry that I'm not being fair or mean for grabbing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then of course I feel like he shouldn't be using it, and that just increases the pressure on both of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I give him a ten and five minute warning, and end by spending a couple minutes looking at what he's done (usually MineCraft). Then it gets rocky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips on how to deal with this situation better would be appreciated. First thing I'm going to do differently is spend a full five minutes watching him before taking it (at the five minute warning).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6651" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-19T21:12:20.860" LastActivityDate="2018-11-20T11:45:21.277" Title="How to end 9-year-old's video game time with less stress?" Tags="|middle-childhood|video-games|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21754" CreationDate="2015-08-20T22:27:03.133" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The easiest way is probably to set a &lt;a href=&quot;http://igamemom.com/2014/09/20/how-to-set-screen-time-limits-on-ipad-and-iphone/&quot;&gt;time limit lock using guided access&lt;/a&gt;.  In Guided Access, which can have a different passcode lock than the main passcode lock, you go to the Time Limits section and enable that.  The main downside is that it only allows them to be in one app - they can't swap apps.  This is an iOS 8 feature, also, not sure if your iPod would have it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, a better solution exists that's been around for many more iOSs, which is also not part of Guided Access (so allows him to do whatever app-wise). That's to use the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.reddit.com/r/apple/comments/1ou5rt/til_there_is_a_sleep_timer_built_into_ios_7/&quot;&gt;sleep timer&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start the timer app (part of the clock app).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Select &quot;When Timer Ends&quot;, and choose &quot;Stop Playing&quot; (which is at the very bottom).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, when the timer goes off, it will just return the phone/ipod to its lock screen.  You must have a lock enabled, and your son must not know the combination of course.  He might still be annoyed about the time limit, but you don't have to rip it from his hands; it just stops working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, this doesn't teach him &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he should stop playing, and I always advocate that as part of anything like this - so please have those conversations as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T22:27:03.133" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-20T23:13:25.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm ambidextrous.  I too, like many others switched back and forth between hands when writing as a kindergartener.  The teacher threatened to beat my hands with a Number 1 pencil (the fat ones).  Public teachers were allowed to do that back then.  I then switched to my left hand at a weird (non-optimal angle).  I still only write with my left hand.  I catch a ball, hit with a racquet and throw with my right hand/arm.  Interestingly enough, I wear a watch on the left arm (yes the one I write with).  I still feel that I could have become proficient with the right hand as well.... I just don't now as I've learned the left only and programmed my brain that it now &quot;feels correct to use the left&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would you say my right hand is dominant because I catch with it?  Or would you say my left is not because I wear a watch on that arm and only write with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I fully understand the &quot;muscle memory&quot; and the fact that it takes longer to learn with both.  With that said, mandating a single hand seems to be a cop out for modern teaching that I still to this day (in my forties now) vehemently disagree with.  I was keeping up just fine with my writing skills.  It seems to me that there is no one correct answer.  Your child might just end up using different hands/arms for different activities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the teacher is so wrapped around the axle about only teaching one hand, then ask you child to choose a hand he/she likes and only use that one in the classroom.  Eventually they will either stick with it or switch to the other... asking them to stick with one will eventually lead to a dominant writing hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've no psychological theory to quote you... only the experience of a 4 year old that switched hands and was forced to use only one and now as an adult have a peculiar form of ambidexterity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17687" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T23:13:25.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21754" CreationDate="2015-08-20T23:21:44.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think I have to agree with &lt;a href=&quot;http://minemum.com/minecraft-parent-problems&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MINEMUN&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There are a lot of things about Minecraft that make it a really&#xA;  worthwhile game for kids to play, and the areas where most families&#xA;  run into problems are easily fixable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But there's really no getting around the fact that it's a game that&#xA;  requires parents to be involved if they want the experience to go&#xA;  smoothly for their kids. So if you don't want to do that - if you&#xA;  can't bring yourself to learn about the game or put in the time to&#xA;  supervise, sort out problems, keep them safe on multiplayer servers&#xA;  and prevent their obsession from becoming unhealthy - then Minecraft&#xA;  isn't the right game for your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Minecraft is a creative game, and I am on the creative end my self. When I am feeling creative, then I like to work for hours to get a creative release. And that brings me to &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_gratification&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Delayed Gratification&lt;/a&gt; and trust exercises within the family. I would offer your son the option to play for the day rate of 30 min or to allow him to save up to a full day of creative work, collecting the weeks worth of playtime for a full Saturday of Minecraft, doubling up on the time allowance for saved time as a treat for the Delayed gratification exercises.  So for every half hour day during work days is a full hour is lost from the Saturday. .. Then I would offer a trade in for a full Saturday for other activity every other week or so, or some other system like that. But this will of-course depend upon my own availability to be part of the game and also the use of timers like other answers have mentions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastActivityDate="2015-08-20T23:21:44.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21760" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21761" CreationDate="2015-08-21T05:55:27.897" Score="3" ViewCount="1858" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today was &quot;Meet the Teacher&quot; and my 5 year old daughter has been placed in a bilingual kindergarten class. My husband speaks Spanish and I speak English. I was happy, but then I started asking questions and found out all the work and tests are done in Spanish and she will only teach in English 2 days a week. I am concerned because I do not want my daughter to not be able to keep up. The teacher said she will help her, but I want her to be able to read and write words in English too, and I do not think this is going to happen in a Spanish focused classroom. She understands Spanish, but not enough to be in all Spanish class. I want her to know both languages, but I am concerned. My husband does not understand my concerns and thinks I am overreacting. Please help me and give advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17690" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-08-21T08:12:52.083" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T21:37:13.543" Title="Should I be worried my daughter is in a bilingual kindergarten class?" Tags="|pre-schooler|social-development|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21760" CreationDate="2015-08-21T08:44:24.747" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there's one thing you should be worried about it's that your daughter is put in such a class and you were apparently not even aware of it... I find it really strange.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But learning a second language is best done when you're young. Living in a bilingual country (Belgium), this is actually the direction towards a lot of schools/parents are moving: bilingual classes as soon as possible. Being able to speak both languages at home is also an asset from where I see it... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course when learning writing/reading, there will always be one of the languages that will come first, but she can catch on the other later on. Most people I know that were raised in a bilingual environment are literate in both languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastEditorUserId="4510" LastEditDate="2015-08-21T13:20:14.523" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T13:20:14.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21754" CreationDate="2015-08-21T12:46:00.707" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems you had the right approach by giving warnings, maybe use some visual help with a timer for example ? That way he can know anytime what time he has left. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also thinking maybe 30 minutes might just be too short for him to enjoy the game at all ? I never played Minecraft so I couldn't tell... Being 9, you should be able to discuss the matter a bit with him and if that's the issue, an alternative might be to allow him 3,5 hours a week and let him handle this time bank. he may find out that 1 hour each 2-days is much more enjoyable, and that opens the door to other activity on the other day. Together with you if you have some time would be even better...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T12:46:00.707" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21763" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21767" CreationDate="2015-08-21T13:51:54.713" Score="4" ViewCount="270" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a small cuddly bear from very young and have had it for over 20 years. I have it on my pillow every night and talk to it just like I do to a pet cat. I have a very close bond to it and can't imagine living without it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife thinks this is borderline mental disorder. She asked me to make binary choice of the bear or her early in our marriage, which led to a massive fight. Finally she was OK to live with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently we had a daughter. Now wife thinks my behaviour to the cuddly bear will make our daughter a psycho since it will make the baby believe cuddly bears talk back. So she demands I put it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: are there any adverse mental effects on a baby to see their parent talking/cuddling to a toy repeatedly? Does it matter that I'm male? Would it matter if we had had a son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13860" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-21T15:48:47.970" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T20:15:28.177" Title="Are there adverse effects on a baby to see their parent talking to a toy?" Tags="|development|mental-health|imaginative-play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21753" CreationDate="2015-08-21T13:59:07.310" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First: all people are different and have different needs.  Do not use the needs of one person to determine the needs of another.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What is going on in your child's mind and emotions is unique to her.  Some may tell you that you are being manipulated, but I would say that child needs a lot of touch, and close connections with her parents especially before going off on her own into the dark scary night - for what ever reason. Give it to her.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Our children slept with us from the time we brought them home from the hospital until they wanted a bed of their own.  Each had their own needs and time of departure to that independence. It was not always easy, as one of them took up to an hour of crawling around between us before he could fall asleep.&#xA;At 22 months, I feel that it is important that a child KNOWS that they are loved and their individual needs will be met.  At a older age those apparent needs may turn into wants and you can tackle that at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17692" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T13:59:07.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21763" CreationDate="2015-08-21T14:12:17.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see no reason why it would harm your child. Babies and children live in a world where fantasy plays a role: Santa, Easter Bunny, Disney's talking animals, invisible friends... Having some kind of fantasy yourself is probably less traumatizing than a parent being always serious and excluding any kind of fantasy. From where I see it, fantasy plays a role in developing your child's creativity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-08-21T20:15:28.177" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T20:15:28.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21766" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21792" CreationDate="2015-08-21T15:25:46.947" Score="3" ViewCount="1292" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Child is 2 years 2 months old.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am an agnostic.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't want my child to believe in God until she is 20 years old. Reason is that I believe that if the child below that age is repeatedly told by her elders to pray to god, that the god exists, and the god can punish them if they don't - then I think the child will follow what the elders say because of her lack of world experience and because of her trust in her elders. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After she is 20, I can reveal to her the world history (wars, natural calamities, gas chambers etc.) and I can tell her why I turned agnostic. Then if she thinks it is wise to pray to god or to demons - I simply won't interfere. It would be totally her decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live among believers. My in laws have shown some photographs of Hindu gods to her and have taught her to fold her hands as a mark of respect.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child has learnt that and follows the practice whenever she sees a photo of those gods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in India. There is a huge cultural difference as compared to western countries. Therefore it is simply not possible to tell the in-laws to not talk about god to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The in-laws don't live with us. They live far away. But, every year for 2-3 weeks we have to visit them, and they also visit us the same way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How should I respond to the child when she is alone with me?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How should I respond to the child when she is in presence of the in laws?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-08-24T07:20:08.203" LastActivityDate="2017-07-06T18:43:50.837" Title="As an agnostic how to respond to my toddler who points out to god and folds her hands to pay respect to it?" Tags="|toddler|religion|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21763" CreationDate="2015-08-21T15:45:25.663" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Imaginative play is both normal and healthy for children (read &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/201203/the-need-pretend-play-in-child-development&quot;&gt;&quot;The Need for Pretend Play in Child Development&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, posted on &lt;em&gt;Psychology Today&lt;/em&gt;, as just one of many sources that support this theory).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Young children &lt;em&gt;regularly&lt;/em&gt; cuddle, talk to, and animate their toys. A handful of anecdotes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My son will sometimes have his favorite stuffed cat tell me that there is a problem (&quot;Moppy wants you to know he's bored&quot;) rather than admit it himself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My daughter would act out scenes that seemed to be pretty obviously mimicking things from kindergarten; the most memorable was when the toy pots and pans decided to make fun of a toy plate for being friends with a toy fork.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All three of my children play together, each holding a Lego figure and having them navigate the living room furniture, and speaking as their character as they adventure around the room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Modeling this behavior yourself will not &quot;make the baby believe cuddly bears talk back&quot; (see below). If anything, it could help your child see that imaginative play is fun and normal. And as she grows and enacts her own imaginative, creative interactions with toys, engage in that with her; let her imagination take the lead, but interact with her through the toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if her mother is continually complaining about &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; imaginative interaction, I would also be concerned that normal, healthy play would be interpreted by your spouse as an abnormal development &quot;caused&quot; by your actions. Instead of allowing your daughter to play without concern or interference, she'll forbid or criticize it. Look into ways to resolve the difference between you and your spouse so that conflict can be avoided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your comment, you asked about whether it's possible for talking to the bear too frequently to be problematic. This is rather harder to answer and I have to rely on my opinion rather than research (I haven't read about this, really). However, I believe there are some ways of interacting with a toy that could model &quot;unhealthy&quot; imaginative play:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking &quot;with&quot; the bear (e.g., pausing when it &quot;responds&quot;, answering questions &quot;asked&quot;) instead of talking &quot;to&quot; the bear.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking to the bear more often than to your spouse, child, or other friends and family, or preferring to talk to the bear even when someone else is in the room&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking to the bear throughout the day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking to the bear when it isn't physically present&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm honestly not sure what the repercussions of that might be, but these all seem (subjectively) to exceed normal imaginative play even for children, and especially for adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-21T16:28:03.970" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T16:28:03.970" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21766" CreationDate="2015-08-21T16:11:12.547" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the moment its just a ritual like saying &quot;please&quot; or brushing hair; she is too young to understand the theology. Later you can discuss your beliefs (or lack of them) and the extent to which she should continue respecting her grandparents beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she notices that you don't follow this ritual then thats probably a good time to start explaining that you don't believe, and something about why and what that means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-08-21T16:11:12.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21769" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-21T16:55:08.140" Score="6" ViewCount="627" Body="&lt;p&gt;My spouse and I have kids from previous marriages. He has two boys ages 3 and 6, and I have an 8-year-old boy and we just recently had a daughter together. I'm struggling very hard with his two boys, both of them have many issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 3-year-old is constantly getting into trouble, from the minute he is up in the morning until bedtime. He can never sit still and is always doing things he's not supposed to. He'll destroy whatever he gets his hands on. I put him in time out and send him to his room but a few minutes later he will go back and do the exact same thing that got him in trouble the first time. I don't know what else to do with him and I'm slowly beginning to give up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 6-year-old is even worse... He wets the bed every night so we started allowing him to wear pull ups, we thought he couldn't get up at night to pee and it was all an accident. Turns out the other night I put him to bed and had him wear his pull up, I allowed to watch TV while in bed and his pull up was already soaked within a matter of minutes which proves that he is just too lazy to get up and go pee. That's not all; he's also very good at lying and sneaking around. He blames his little brother of everything he does, when he beats his younger sibling he'll come to me and tell me that his little brother hurt him to avoid getting into trouble. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I take them out to try to get them distracted they both misbehave and act up. Dinner time is always a struggle, I cook for them healthy delicious meals and they always put a fuss and don't want to eat. They ask for snacks and sugary drinks all day and of course I deny them because they don't eat their food. As of right now because of the new baby I'm stuck at home with all four kids. I barely have any time to bond with my newborn because I'm constantly having to reprehend my step kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is very frustrated with the situation and he's having a hard time dealing with these children (I don't blame him). They are really out of control and this is affecting my health. I'm stressed out all the time and don't know what else to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately my spouse is at work most of the time and goes to school at nights so he's barely around to discipline his children. When he comes home from work and school he's too tired and stressed himself so I don't always tell him that his kids drove me nuts, I just suck it in and let it pile up. My husband tries to take them out and do fun things with them on his days off. For the most part they behave ok when he's around. Whenever he's home both his kids will act up to get his attention. It seems like they only know how to get attention by displaying negative behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These kids also alternate from mom to dad every other week and I think that's the root of the problem. I'm not sure what goes on at their mother's place, when they come to my home the first couple of days are difficult. I don't think they are any structure at their moms and that's why when they come to me they're out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm trying really hard to bond with the boys but I can't because of their awful behavior. Some days I feel like giving up on them.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17693" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-10T16:42:19.097" LastActivityDate="2018-11-10T16:42:19.097" Title="How do I discipline my spouse's children?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|primary-schooler|step-parents|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21760" CreationDate="2015-08-22T01:28:17.650" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think she'll have a problem. Our oldest was barely functional in French when he started school. This year will be his third year at the same (French, not even bilingual) school, and he's mostly fluent in both (still a bit better in English, but not by much). You'll be surprised by how quickly she absorbs it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, now's a really good time for you to start learning Spanish, if you don't already know it.  You're going to start getting lots of how-to-say (something)/what-is-this-word-in-(the other language) questions shortly when she starts trying to translate her own thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17101" LastActivityDate="2015-08-22T01:28:17.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21766" CreationDate="2015-08-22T07:30:44.000" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Treat it like any other rule where you and society disagree on how to raise your child. Imagine if you said &amp;quot;I don't want my child to drink soda until she is 20&amp;quot;, and go from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Setting the rule&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Obviously in your own home, explain the rule and don't break it yourself (this should be fairly easy)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For people your child is around a lot and who might break the rule, explain the rule. This means telling your inlaws that your child is not allowed a religion until she is an adult and making sure they understand it. Worst case, this &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; mean you cannot leave your child alone with them if they keep breaking the rule and refuse to accept that you as a parent make rules regarding religion. (Just like with any other rule). It also means explaining this to teachers, any parents where your child goes for play-dates and others. (No different from any other rule)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you and your child are with strangers and they try to break the rule, tell them the rule and remind your child that religion is for grown-ups and she should not engage in it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Explain that other people do differently&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will observe that others behave differently from her and are allowed to do things she is not. This happens with every kind of restriction others do not have. When she is very young, she might not understand, so you will need to remind her that you are the parent and you make the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she gets a bit older, you will probably need to switch to justifying the rule somewhat, as children will start to ask why they are not allowed things. &amp;quot;Religion can have a huge impact on your life and should not be started with lightly&amp;quot; is probably good enough for quite a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also explain that while other children and people are allowed religion, that is not &lt;em&gt;bad&lt;/em&gt;, just &lt;em&gt;different&lt;/em&gt;. She will still need to deal with these people and you don't want her going around telling people that their religion is bad for them as it will not make her social interactions any better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Prepare for conflict&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This comes in two flavors. First up; pretty much any child will start rebelling against the parents around puberty. So at that point, your child might start showing an interest in religion. They might try to get involved with a religion in secret, which could be dangerous. I would personally recommend allowing them to go to meetings under your supervision, but considering that is still a decade off, it might be completely different by then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second conflict will probably be with your family and perhaps broader society, who will not understand. That depends a lot on the people around you and is probably out-of-scope for this question, so I'll just leave it with the general warning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T08:05:39.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21769" CreationDate="2015-08-22T16:35:58.693" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good discipline for me is based on trust and commonly agreed upon system that has been set up with goals that the child has communicated that it wants to get. Not a fear based discipline that silences the participation of the kid in creating the structure. To do this the personal rapport must be based on personal bonding. I is harder to do bonding with a kid that is already talking and running around, but there are ways witch are based upon dependence of the child towards the parent that is to bond with the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it seems that you have your hands full with two of them, perhaps it would be possible to have only one of them for a few days... you need time to bond with them and the new baby, the 3 and 6 year old also appear to feed of each others. You told us that the weeks are alternate from mom to dad, perhaps the 3 and 6 year old also need to alternate each other to give space for there personal relationship to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My alternation suggestion would be to have them both at there mothers every other weekend and both at your place the other weekend, but on weekdays only one of them is with you and the other one is with their other mom. This way you can ease the going without removing the Week/week alternation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal experience with moody kids tells me that he kid will need about two days of rest after alternation before coming back to its senses.So it may also be worth to try a 2-week/2-week alternation cycle. With this system the two day tantrum after alternation exchanges will take fewer days of the year for there are fewer alternations exchanges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also when trying new cycles of alternation then in my experience the kid will not start to feel easy about it until the cycles have turned 3 times so a pattern can be trusted by the kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edit:&#xA;also for me, if there is a pants wetting problem, then no TV one hour before bed time. the TV is like a drug for some kids, where their control of their own priorities is taken away from them, so they become unable to take care for the bodily needs like eating, moving or going to the bathroom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastEditorUserId="5008" LastEditDate="2015-08-23T21:38:49.440" LastActivityDate="2015-08-23T21:38:49.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21696" CreationDate="2015-08-22T23:38:09.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Read &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0679744681&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Stanley Coren, &lt;em&gt;The Lefthander Syndrome&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; to get your bearings. It's a bit messy, but Coren's messiness corresponds to the research when he wrote his book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One piece that might be pulled is that the human race does not appear to have two populations of &quot;right-handed&quot; and &quot;left-handed,&quot; or three counting ambidexterity, but rather two populations of &quot;strong right hand dominance&quot; and &quot;no strong right-hand dominance&quot;. The average right-hander is strongly right-handed, and clumsy at attempting one-handed tasks left-handed. The &quot;no strong right-hand dominance&quot; includes left-handedness, ambidexterity, and (presumably) weak right-hand dominance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue that concerns me regarding schools--I was asked about my hand dominence but didn't know, then my teacher asked me what hand I'd use to catch a ball and I didn't know, and then we went outside and tossed a ball aside (clumsily for me), which I caught with alternating hands. So I was taught right-handed writing, a liability ever since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two takeaways in terms of things I'd love to tell you for your little one:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There are not two equal and opposite side dominances, and you don't help people by taking standard strong right-dominant resources, and flipping them over to their mirror image.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If a serious attempt has been made to discern your child's dominance, and your child has not clearly shown one side as dominant, that is a signature of the not-strongly-right-handed population and should be treated as such.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not aware of anyone being described as being as left-handed as most right-handers are right-handed. Most left-handed people can perform one-handed tasks with their right hands with vastly greater ease than most right-handed people can perform one-handed tasks with their left hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7404" LastActivityDate="2015-08-22T23:38:09.323" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21778" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21779" CreationDate="2015-08-23T08:15:20.627" Score="3" ViewCount="461" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are considering buying an apartment. Most apartments have the kid's bedroom separated from the living room by only a thin wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are concerned about implications, in particular noise due to people talking or watching a movies past the child's bedtime. We do not have a child yet, so this question concerns potentially all ages from age 0 on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do children get used to low-volume noise while trying to fall asleep and/or while sleeping?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Under the assumption that they get used to it, would it significantly influence the quality of their sleep?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17701" LastEditorUserId="17701" LastEditDate="2017-08-19T14:32:56.670" LastActivityDate="2017-08-19T14:32:56.670" Title="Kid's bedroom adjacent to living room - noise" Tags="|toddler|infant|sleep|bedroom|noise|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21778" CreationDate="2015-08-23T08:52:17.563" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Contrary to what you might think, children sleep well with a certain level of noise, especially if it's the familiar sounds of the family doing whatever they usually do or the voices of people they trust. It can be very reassuring, especially for smaller children. That's the reason some parents leave bedroom doors open a small crack: You hear the baby/child, child hears you, everyone is reassured that everything is ok. (Note that some babies can be pretty noisy in their sleep, too: they sigh, snore, grunt, babble or moan... Can be terrifying or confusing at first, but you get used to your baby's typical sounds soon.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet this is no free pass for shoddy sound isolation in the walls: While some noise is fine, I wouldn't want a child exposed to the sound effects of a typical Hollywood Blockbuster action or horror movie - screams, gunfire and explosions IMHO shouldn't be part of &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; child's dream soundtrack. I know a few parents that invest in a white noise machine to somewhat &quot;even out&quot; TV sounds or external noise.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;And one day said child will be a teenager - unless you don't want to watch a presidential debate with a background choir of Heavy Metal, Rap or whatever, good insulation is a must. And while you can have one teenager wear headphones, a method to silence a bunch of giggling teenage girls hasn't been invented yet, afaik.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I'm fully aware that construction methods and standard floor plans vary a lot over the world and you didn't say where you live, so work with whatever is available at your locale. )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-08-23T08:52:17.563" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21784" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21797" CreationDate="2015-08-24T01:51:38.930" Score="14" ViewCount="14774" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is one year old.  We've been co-sleeping, but about two weeks ago we started transitioning her to her own room.     We rock her down and put her to sleep in her room. When she wakes up (usually in 1-2 hours) and starts fussing, we get her and bring her back to our bed and go back to sleep.   Sometimes she gets to a full cry before we get to her, but usually we are there before she's too upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, despite our attempt to be as non-traumatic with this transition as possible, she's suddenly gotten very squirmy when she's cosleeping with us.   She'll twist about till she's lying perpendicular between us, and then start kicking her dad. A lot.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if it's related to the transition to her bed, or if it's just a natural development for her age, but I don't know what to try to get her to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's almost always when she's nursing - she used to nurse very easily lying down.  She'd be lying parallel to me, she'd be mostly still, we'd both drift back to sleep ... Now, if she's nursing (or just before or just after), she's in constant motion, either maneuvering herself into the perpendicular, head twisted position that she favors now (cannot understand why, but there it is), or kicking her dad, or hitting me.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't hit hard - just a rhythmic, keep-the-beat kind of thing.  But she kicks a lot harder.  Usually she is drumming her poor father in his chest, but she's managed to kick his face a few times, as well as lower.  Which makes sleeping pretty difficult for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can't tell her no; she's not really awake.   And I can hold her hand while nursing, but I can't hold her feet as well or keep her from twisting all around.   If I sit up and pull her into my lap to nurse, she is still - but then I don't get any sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I get her to stop kicking and stop squirming when she's sleeping?   Or how long should we expect this phase to last?   Is there anything my husband can do to keep the kicking at bay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Far the 'how long will this last??' question - just a few weeks.  2 months later, she's almost completely transitioned to her own bed, and the few times she does sleeps in our bed, she is good.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We found that giving her a high-protein meal soon before bedtime helped her reach a sound sleep faster and stay there longer.   The schedule is a scrambled egg, bath, nursing and reading, and then bed.    That gives us 4-6 hours before she rouses (yah!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I did finally figure out that the trade-off with sleeping in her own bed is that I can't do the lay-down nursing anymore.    When she wakes at night, she needs the comfort of being held in a lap as much as anything else - the comfort of lying down again doesn't cut it.   This is much easier to do now that I'm getting 4-hour stretches of sleep  :)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We also found the right comfort items to put in bed with her and her preferred sleep temperature.  She also sleeps better (ie, without kicking and thrashing) if she's had her naps, and when she isn't teething.   So many variables!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17472" LastEditorUserId="17472" LastEditDate="2015-11-15T16:32:13.667" LastActivityDate="2018-05-16T14:42:20.363" Title="How to stop 1-yr old from kicking us while sleeping" Tags="|toddler|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21786" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-24T05:17:57.593" Score="9" ViewCount="3028" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old son had his first day of kindergarten and it was my worst fear. When I went to pick him up his teacher pulled me aside and told me about his day: he pulled the other kids hair, used his hands as guns to shoot other people, he pulled his pants down and peed at recess, after he was done eating lunch he started wandering around the other classrooms and was very interruptive during class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I knew he was going to have some adjustment problems because he has been having a bit of trouble recently at home because of some home changes. In the past year and a half he went from an only child to now having a 1 year old sister and a 3 month old brother; during the last pregnancy my husband and I separated for 6 months and me and the kids lived with my mom.  We are working on things and are now all together again but I don't know what to do now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were very up front with his teacher about what was going on at home before school started, but I'm worried he will not want to go back if he keeps acting the way he did.  He is wonderful with both the babies and loves to play with them and help feed and change them, but when I am not around he goes crazy.  Please help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17713" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-24T12:12:37.033" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T21:30:11.310" Title="5 year old boy having adjustment issues to kindergarten" Tags="|pre-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21766" CreationDate="2015-08-24T11:10:42.097" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a nice little problem of getting ostracized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do not have to show someone about the ugly side of things. Do what real agnostic do, ask question, use the Socratic method with your kid. At that age, kids are very curious. With you, make sure she isn't punished or lied to for asking questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also go the other way, instead of hiding things, teach her about the multitude of religions that are out there with their different rituals. Have a Buddhist week, Christian week, ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I wouldn't worrie too much about her learning other people's culture and celebrating some events.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T11:10:42.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21786" CreationDate="2015-08-24T15:25:43.167" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give it some time.  It's very natural for a child to test boundaries in a new environment, and his teachers are still in the &quot;honeymoon period,&quot; when they tend to cut kids a little too much slack because the kids are new.  Some kids can't handle slack very well.  I would wait a month or two before worrying about him being a permanent delinquent :-)  These are the kinds of things kids are &lt;em&gt;supposed&lt;/em&gt; to learn in Kindergarten.  It's okay if it takes a little while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best you can do is continue to provide as much stability as you can manage, continue to expect good behavior at home, talk to him about your specific expectations for behavior at school, and make an extra effort to give him plenty of time for unstructured physical play at home.  Modern kindergartens are &lt;a href=&quot;http://communitytable.parade.com/237903/jenniferlwfink/5-reasons-boys-hate-schooland-what-you-can-do-about-it/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;not ideally structured for active boys&lt;/a&gt;, and that can be extremely stressful on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you've done all you can at home, you just have to leave it in the school's hands.  You only have so much influence over how your child behaves away from you, especially a young child who lives in the moment, so don't beat yourself up about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T15:25:43.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21786" CreationDate="2015-08-24T16:11:04.340" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest either professional advice or at least professional information on the topic.  People here may or may not be professionals, but there is no guarantee of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A good first step is having a conference with the school guidance counselor.  They are trained and can recommend books or other resources you can use.&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't fully disagree with Karl, but &quot;waiting it out&quot; should definitely be paired with &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;getting prepared and learning while you wait&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.  I do disagree that it is natural for 5 year old children to pee in public and pull the hair of other children specifically when in the care of an adult.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Wife taught kindergarten for 8 years and is certified in early childhood education.  I heard her tell a story similar to this only once.  I mention this not to scare you, but to motivate you.  Learn about your child's needs.  I know having 3 young children makes it almost impossible to find time for all this, but if your husband is back in the picture and being helpful and if your family is nearby then I believe you can do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, 1 year of this stress and fear can turn into something productive and bring a lifetime of results to your son.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn what the problem really is&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn how to handle it &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Apply what you have learned consistently with love.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T16:11:04.340" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21766" CreationDate="2015-08-24T19:15:21.897" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know many people who were raised religious and are atheists, and many others who grew up atheist and are religious.  I'm personally religious despite grown up in a fairly skeptical household, and judging by your question, you are agnostic despite having been raised religious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that your child (and mine) will grow up in a world with both religious and unreligious people, I think it's unrealistic to expect you can maintain her in a religion-free zone for the next eighteen years.  Therefore, I can only recommend to you my own approach --live out your own beliefs as well as you can, be open about those beliefs with your child, and be as respectful of other people's beliefs as you can be without compromising your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T19:15:21.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21784" CreationDate="2015-08-24T19:37:09.783" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A portable co-sleeper might be a good option for this case.  I used one with my daughter.  It's like a small bassinet with no legs, and is meant to go in the parent's bed, between the adults.  Because it has sides, she wouldn't be able to kick her dad, and there are models that have openings so you can nurse.  Also, since it is portable, I found it helps with the transition to a crib, since she's sleeping in the same bed in either location (crib or your room).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A regular co-sleeper (the kind that attaches to the side of the bed) would also prevent her kicking dad, as she wouldn't be between you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a note:  please check the size on any co-sleeper unit.  A lot of the ones on the market are intended for smaller babies and may not be large enough to be comfortable, or have side walls too low to be safe for a baby that can roll over and push up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastEditorUserId="17486" LastEditDate="2015-08-24T22:03:14.117" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T22:03:14.117" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21784" CreationDate="2015-08-24T21:15:19.710" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I've seen done is using something to create space on the bed, such as a pool noodle or longer 'side' pillows (like you sometimes buy during pregnancy to support your back or go between your legs).  Similar to swilliam's suggestion, but with things you have around the house; that way when toddler moves around, he/she kicks the noodle or pillow and not daddy or mommy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This won't work for us as ours goes full perpendicular - and we have a queen sized bed, so not wide enough to do a 38&quot; child plus enough for each parent.  But if yours stays mostly parallel and just kicks, this might work (or, is shorter and/or you have a wider bed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T21:15:19.710" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21784" CreationDate="2015-08-24T21:28:09.733" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first thought is that maybe something is making her uncomfortable which causes her to move around more, hit and kick. Could she maybe be teething? When my son is uncomfortable with teething, the main sign seems to be restlessness at night. He'll fidget more and often wake himself up soon after falling back to sleep. Another reason could be if she feels unwell - a cold, earache, stomach ache etc. Of course it's hard to know for sure with a child that age as they can't tell you but the first molars usually start to come in early in the baby's second year and they can be quite a bit more painful than the earlier incisors. If there are no other symptoms of illness, it could be that, especially if she's crying more than usual. You could try giving some painkiller to see if it makes a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use a baby sleeping bag for our son. It limits the amount he can move around to some extent. That could reduce the kicking. On some occasions when it's been too hot to use it, he does kick his legs a lot before he falls asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our son sleeps in our bed, I put him on the opposite side of the bed to my husband so I am in the middle. You'll need some kind of barrier to stop your daughter from falling off the bed. You can buy a guard rail or you could put the bed against the wall. However, this way you may be more uncomfortable and not have much space. When this got too annoying for me, we put the crib next to the bed with the side off. This is still considered cosleeping but you will all have more space. You can find guidance online about how to do this safely (for an example, see here &lt;a href=&quot;http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/how-to-side-car-your-crib/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/how-to-side-car-your-crib/&lt;/a&gt; but worth looking in a few other places for tips to find something you feel happy with if you want to try it). Now most of the time after nursing, I roll my son back into his bed and we both have our own space but he's close enough if he has trouble settling and needs a pat on the back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T21:28:09.733" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21784" CreationDate="2015-08-24T22:36:10.643" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just because it hasn't been mentioned here before: Normally it takes years until children can establish the complete decoupling between dreams and motion that adults take for granted. Maybe your daughter is just dreaming about physical activities. Even if this started at a time when something else changed, you should be open to the possibility that it's just a coincidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you should also be open to the possibility that it isn't. That's addressed by other answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Correction: Children's movements during sleep are very often &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; connected to dreaming. One form that may fit the question (rhythmic movement disorder - as so often it's named like a medical condition though in children it's quite normal, e.g. 66% of 9-month-olds) occurs specifically at the beginning, before there is any dreaming. Source: &quot;Ontogeny of Parasomnias&quot; in Encyclopedia of Sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Of course, just because something is very common in children doesn't mean it's necessarily normal. It's also possible that cultural bias makes the majority of parents cause a medical condition. To check this, one would have to study children in cultures with a very different approach to child-raising as much as those in Western cultures.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13408" LastEditorDisplayName="user13408" LastEditDate="2015-08-25T08:23:05.440" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T08:23:05.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14782" CreationDate="2015-08-24T22:56:08.287" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am divorced, but we managed not to make it traumatic for our daughter at all. We bought a book together for the last time. I would recommend it to you, but unfortunately it's in German and I don't know an equivalent book in English. (&quot;Glückliche Scheidungskinder&quot;, literally &quot;Happy divorce children&quot;, by Swiss paediatrician Remo Largo.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things I learned from this book:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children are never afraid of their parents separating - they are only afraid of losing one of them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children are not afraid of not seeing one parent for a week - they are afraid of not seeing one of them for much longer periods.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children suffer from quarrels between their parents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children are scared by the prospect of a separation or divorce if they have reason to believe that this will lead to them losing a parent or the parents quarreling (see previous points). They are also scared by the prospect if it is made scary the way this is often done: First the parents try to hide their plans from the child or children, though it's obvious that something ominous is going on. And finally it's presented as if it were bad news.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to understand that if it is necessary, a separation is a good thing. If both former partners are reasonable, a separation ends the quarreling and makes life much nicer for the offspring. For this it is critical to properly disengage. That you once loved someone and feel betrayed now doesn't mean you have to hate the person. If you can't form an efficient child-raising team with a person you once felt sufficiently compatible with to marry, then how could you ever hope to cooperate with random people at work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13408" LastActivityDate="2015-08-24T22:56:08.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21800" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21804" CreationDate="2015-08-25T00:47:29.387" Score="12" ViewCount="1323" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a step-dad to 3 girls under 6. The eldest is still fairly enamored by bio-dad and while I won't go into the details; he's a man-child. The 3-year-old just follows the eldest at present, but I'm fairly sure that'll change in another year or two and she won't really bother with him. The youngest is 1 and barely even knows him, I'm essentially her dad as far as she's concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My partner (his ex-wife) has obviously taken full custody of the girls and he gets occasional visits, wherein he allows anything and everything. Even if they do something wrong, say biting, he will tell them off. That's it. No timeouts. No loss of toys or whatever was involved. He's the &quot;fun parent&quot;, there's no rules, no real consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 5-year-old mentioned the other day that &quot;real daddy never gets grumpy with us&quot; and while my partner and I are well aware of why this is happening, we're struggling to find a way to explain it to our 5-year-old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions on how we can approach this? Or are we better to just leave it and let her figure out that &quot;fun parent&quot; doesn't mean &quot;good parent&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17725" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-22T12:11:19.850" LastActivityDate="2019-05-22T12:35:07.740" Title="How to explain the &quot;fun parent&quot; phenomenon to a 5-year-old?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|communication|step-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21766" CreationDate="2015-08-25T06:34:39.193" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, it's extremely unlikely that a 2 year old really understands the issues and the logical, scientific, and historical arguments for and against any given religion or non-religion. I wouldn't try to burden her with difficult subjects beyond her understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you have to consider just how far you want to go with this, considering that it will apparently create conflict with your in-laws. Yes, you COULD say that as the parent you do not want your child to hear anything about your in-laws religion, and if they insist on talking about it in her presence you will cut off all contact with them. Do you want to go that far? And how rigid do you want to be? Is it enough that they not attempt to &quot;convert&quot; her to their religion? Or must they remove all signs of their religion from their house when your daughter visits? Etc. Responses could range from refusing to let them see your daughter, to simply telling your daughter that they have different beliefs from what you practice at home and she should be polite but not feel obligated to participate and you'll discuss this with her in greater detail when she's older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a Fundamentalist Christian and I have a brother who's an Agnostic. I simply never worried about what he said to my children when they were around him. I saw no point in creating conflict, and I figured that if in a few visits he could undo everything I said and did day after day, then, well, if he wasn't the one to do it, somebody else would.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my humble opinion, the best thing to do about controversial subjects like religion and politics is to give the child age-appropriate material about competing ideas and let them come to their own conclusions. We home-schooled our children on and off, and so, for example, I got them books advocating capitalism and books advocating socialism and included both on the tests. (Not when they were 2 though.) If you try to force your beliefs on your child, the more intelligent the child is the less likely it is to work. When they get to their teens, they're going to have a rebellious phase where they question everything you tell them. Being harsh and dogmatic is likely to be counterproductive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T06:34:39.193" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21732" CreationDate="2015-08-25T06:58:13.903" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two thoughts: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(a) What do you mean by &quot;lie&quot;? Do you mean any statement that is not absolutely and completely true? Or do you mean untrue statements meant to deceive or take advantage? In my humble opinion, there's a huge moral difference between, &quot;Oh, your cookies tasted great, I just don't want any more because I'm stuffed&quot;, when in reality the cookies were awful; versus, &quot;I have no idea what happened to your missing hundred dollar bill&quot;, when in fact it's in your pocket. I wouldn't call the first statement a &quot;lie&quot;. I don't want to debate definitions of words, so if you say that it is a lie, okay, fine, in that case I'd say that not all lies are bad. I don't recall ever having to explain the difference to my children. Not that they never told a malicious lie, but that they understood intuitively the difference between a malicious lie and a an untruth for the sake of politeness. I suppose there are gray areas. Like flattery: Are you saying nice things to make the other person feel good, or are you saying nice things to win the favor so you can take advantage of them? In practice that can get hazy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(b) If we're talking about untrue statements intended to deceive, then we're talking about what sort of morals you want to teach your children. If you're asking whether you should teach your children that it's okay to cheat customers or spread rumors about co-workers if that's what you need to do to get ahead in business, I'd say no, it's not okay. I'd rather lose money than lose my integrity. If you don't agree with such a moral position, I probably won't persuade you otherwise with a forum post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T06:58:13.903" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21803" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-25T09:25:55.227" Score="2" ViewCount="1123" Body="&lt;p&gt;Occupational therapy has been suggested for our 6 year old with ADHD. Has anyone had success with this mode of treatment? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2961" LastActivityDate="2019-01-09T09:14:59.427" Title="Has anyone had success with Occupational Therapy and ADHD?" Tags="|adhd|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21800" CreationDate="2015-08-25T12:01:11.843" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no point discussing &quot;good parenting&quot; with a child. Actually there's no point discussing it at all with anybody.&#xA;There will be (are) a lot of occasions in which your child will be exposed to different discipline levels or rules than the ones you set at home. Was it for stronger or weaker discipline (they are probably allowed more at home than they will be at school). They will eventually only need to understand one might have a different set of rules but they need to follow rules whereever/with whoever they are, not as it is somewhere else or with somebody else. You probably should only explain that to them, and insists on it each occasion you get, and you will get a lot of it! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Indeed although kids usually get really fast up to which extent they can go with whom, they will probably always be testing and trying to push limits further, of course using examples in their immediate advantage (...&quot;but real daddy lets me do that&quot;). That's when you can remind them of the different place/different rules thing.&#xA;If that becomes that much of a trouble, a discussion with the dad might also help, but it depends on how receptive he is to that kind of advise. I don't know a lot of people who are and he would probably be even less in such a situation...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T12:01:11.843" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21805" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21806" CreationDate="2015-08-25T12:01:51.897" Score="12" ViewCount="7138" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children are aged 14 months and 3 years. What are possible risks to their health from having an indoor cat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had many cats when I was a child but they lived in the garden - they came inside from time to time to play but that's all. I live in the UK if that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-26T16:16:19.733" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T12:42:03.960" Title="What are possible risks to a child's health from having an indoor cat?" Tags="|health|pets|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21805" CreationDate="2015-08-25T13:00:54.903" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, most studies show the opposite - that having a pet is good for children's health.  Specifically, kids exposed to animals when young have a lower risk for developing pet related allergies later in life, and pets in general have been shown to lower stress levels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few diseases that can be passed from a cat to a child, but for a cat who is healthy, vaccinated, and kept indoors, the risk of contracting one of these is very low. A cat should have regular visits to a veterinarian to keep up with vaccinations (e.g. rabies in the US) and be checked/treated for parasites (fleas, worms); the vet will know what vaccinations are required and/or recommended, which will depend on where you live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The largest potential for a problem is with scratches.  Cat scratches can easily become infected, so make sure to thoroughly clean any scratches, and supervise the kids when they are still too little to understand not to pull the cat's tail.  That plus keeping the litter box in areas inaccessible to the kids should help keep both little ones and kitties happy and safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some relevant articles:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everydayhealth.com/pet-health/effects-of-pets-on-kids.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Positive Effects of Pet Ownership for Kids&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.healthpromotion.ie/hp-files/docs/HPM00795.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Child Safety and Health around Pets&lt;/a&gt; – includes safety precautions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-27T11:25:29.247" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T11:25:29.247" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21807" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-25T14:01:06.777" Score="3" ViewCount="2380" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old grandson will only play with girl toys. My daughter and husband criticize me for allowing it. His birthday was last week and my sisters and I took him to the toy store to let him pick out his toy, and naturally he picked out princess toys and Monster High dolls. My daughter was angry when she came home and told him she was throwing them away. I feel it's because it's all he knows. He's only around women. His parents aren't married and Dad isn't around much. He has one sister. Am I wrong in feeling that I can't force him to like boy toys? Does it necessarily mean he's going to be gay or want to become a female? I'm confused. The only thing I'm sure of is that he likes these toys and I want him to enjoy playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17729" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T21:54:40.403" Title="My grandson only likes girl toys" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3098" CreationDate="2015-08-25T14:47:00.343" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have same problem with our 2 year old except she takes of her pjs! Iv tryed every way! And iv even done leaving her and watching her during the night and she woke up to cooled don't do this! My partner is medicly trained and was doing core temperter checks hole way through and we woke her and warmed her up.  The only thing we can do is while she is in a deep stage of sleep we dress her into a fleaze sleep sute all in one (babygrow style ) and then and her blanket or severel over the corse of the night as she has laid on top of the last one I put on her. she will always kick of her blankets or quit this has mean going most of time. but I know this is not going to help her learn. &#xA;But I have found that if she sleeps on our leather sofa she says still and warm. I'm starting to wonder if she is to cold from the start. Not her body but the mattress. As when I put her in our bed when she's called out or starts moning in the early morning as we've been asleep for 4 hour. She will sleep fine once she is warm moves ontop of quilt as stays walm. With no problems. So I'm about to change her mattress to a normal child one that reflects own body heat back. As the baby's and toddlers are designed to allow air through so not to over heat and to breath on front to prevent cot death. Let's hope as we can't keep this up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17730" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T14:47:00.343" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21803" CreationDate="2015-08-25T15:26:03.227" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think most parents do amateur/informal occupational therapy for their children with ADHD without realizing it.  To me, occupational therapy feels like formalized common sense.  It entails adapting a child's environment to better fit his needs, and teaching him coping skills to help him adapt when his environment can't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a child with ADHD, examples of adaptations to environment are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eliminating distractions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;providing lots of breaks for physical activity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;providing interesting tasks that can help the child achieve &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childmind.org/en/posts/articles/2013-9-23-hyperfocus-flip-side-adhd&quot;&gt;flow&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples of adaptive behaviors are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Organizational skills like writing things down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.additudemag.com/adhdblogs/4/6606.html&quot;&gt;fidget toy&lt;/a&gt; to maintain focus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn social skills like when to ask for help and when to work on your own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning meditation techniques for getting on track.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occupational therapists learn &lt;em&gt;tons&lt;/em&gt; of these techniques, and know how to objectively assess their effectiveness for individual children.  They are powerful advocates when trying to get accommodations from a school.  They are good at making therapy fun, and most children really enjoy their OT time.  They can recognize other subtle sensory or learning issues that are often overshadowed by ADHD or mistaken for it.  They use natural techniques that can help your child avoid drugs.  There is very little downside to trying OT.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T15:26:03.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21811" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-25T15:36:46.960" Score="3" ViewCount="4525" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first time I walked in my son's bedroom, he was playing with my friends niece (he was 4 and my friends niece was 2), and he had her pinned down on the bed and kneeling on her arms. She was screaming. The second time was with my friend (his dad's partner), and he asked her to bend over on the bed so he could kiss her neck and feel her boobs. We have caught him on a few occasions doing inappropriate things, but only to girls, and when no one is looking he tries something. He is 6 now, and we have a little girl who is 18 months, I was running a bath and she was on the bed naked, the little boy ran up the stairs, got in bed, and when I come back up stairs he had a guilty look on his face as he was trying to pull he's pants back up. What do you think I should do? I'm wondering whether or not to phone social services.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17733" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-07-17T21:41:12.640" LastActivityDate="2020-07-17T21:41:12.640" Title="6 year old child being sexually active?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-08-25T16:34:03.060" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21811" CreationDate="2015-08-25T16:06:03.280" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should definitely seek professional help for this child, such as counseling.  This is not normal behavior for a child this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting counseling serves two purposes: protecting the other children he is around, and determining where this behavior is coming from.  As a foster parent, we typically see small children acting overtly sexual when that child has been abused themselves, or exposed to adult materials (pornographic videos or magazines, etc...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of similar questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6283/my-son-is-5-years-old-and-sexually-active?rq=1&quot;&gt;My son is five years old and sexually active&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/21455/4-yo-son-pursues-sex-with-mom?lq=1&quot;&gt;4 year old son pursues sex with mom&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chart showing normal and abnormal behaviors in small children:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www2.aap.org/pubserv/psvpreview/pages/behaviorchart.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;American Academy of Pediatrics - Chart of sexual behaviors in children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T16:06:03.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21813" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-25T17:22:07.803" Score="-1" ViewCount="2874" Body="&lt;p&gt;So I am thinking about getting this kid a horse. But I am not sure if they are really ready to have a horse and ride it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He talks sometimes that he wants a horse and I can get him a horse, but when should I do this, how can I tell that he is ready?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-10-24T08:39:52.583" LastActivityDate="2022-05-12T17:00:20.073" Title="When are kids old enough to have a horse" Tags="|education|age-appropriate|independence|pets|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21813" CreationDate="2015-08-25T17:42:03.710" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was horse crazy since I was old enough to read books about horses.  Any child is old enough to ride (I got my own horse when I was sixteen, and taught my four year old sister to ride on my horse, my kids learned to ride when they were seven and eight) but in order to be old enough to be the primary caregiver for a horse a child must have a strong sense of responsibility, and he needs to have a lot of experience with caring for horses.  I begged my father to let me have a horse all through elementary school, but it wasn't until high school that I was allowed to have one, and, looking back, that was a good thing.  Until I was a middle teenager I wouldn't have had the maturity or strength of purpose to take care of a horse.  I also didn't jump in &quot;blind&quot;; I spent several years riding and being in 4H before I knew enough about how to take care of a horse that I was able to do it myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of rules that you have to know.  Always wear boots.  Not thongs or sandals and especially not bare feet.  You can break the rule and get away with it, but not forever and sooner or later there will be broken toes.  Horses bite and kick occasionally.  They throw their heads up when they are startled, they rear, they shy.  There will be injuries, of both horse and handler.  Even if you are experienced these things happen and if you don't know what you are doing it is far worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Having&quot; a horse is not a simple matter.  First you need a place to keep it.  If you have property, you will not have the cost of boarding (which can run hundreds of dollars a month) but there will still be equipment, veterinary costs, etc.  And while many children love the idea of riding horses, few are capable of the degree of work and time required to actually own one.  Are you prepared to take up the slack?  To spend 1-2 hours each day brushing, picking, shoveling up horse poo, feeding, etc?  Or nagging your child because he is tired of working every day?  Or you could pay someone hundreds of dollars every month to do it for you.  And the horse itself costs plenty.  Hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars.  And finally, unless you really know horses you could get stuck with an animal which has behavioral or health problems that make it entirely a bad choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what I would recommend. There are many stables that offer riding lessons.  Give your son a couple of months of riding lessons for birthday or Christmas (makes a nice gift, I often find Groupons for half price riding lessons).  If he is very enthusiastic you can arrange with the stables to add horse husbandry (taking care of the horse's needs) to be part of the lessons.  Encourage him to get involved with 4H.  If after all this, he decides that horses are nice but there are other things he'd rather be spending his time on, you have just saved yourself a boatload of money and annoyance.  If he decides that he's just got to have one of his own (give a couple of years for the initial thrill to wear off), have a discussion between yourself and your son and his riding instructor, about the possibility.  Often they will have stalls for rent, and they can help you find the right mount for your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2015-08-25T18:43:53.900" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T18:43:53.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21807" CreationDate="2015-08-25T18:48:48.333" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your instinct is exactly on point -- you shouldn't force the child to do what he doesn't want to do; nor should you push him away from what he does want to do if it's harmless. Luckily, your grandson is living in an age where gender stereotypes are being questioned by society (think Target and Amazon)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing you can do is let him play with what he likes. Forcing him to like &quot;boy&quot; toys won't do anything but strain his relationship with you; he's just going to play with as many &quot;girl&quot; toys as he wants to when you're not looking. Would you really want to cultivate habits of secretiveness from your four year old child, simply because he wants to play with dolls?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Playing with &quot;girl&quot; toys doesn't make your child gay or transgender (though you should be accepting if he does come out as either). Your four year old, as Kai mentioned, doesn't understand sexuality or gender identity. Let him do what he likes. It doesn't injure him and it certainly doesn't injure other people. What &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; going to injure him is the shame and misplaced abuse that he might endure from his father and sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage him to explore his own interests, support him no matter what, and try to show his father and your other grandchild that a boy playing with dolls isn't something that should be shamed. And anyways, why are they trying to shame a four year old? Their concerns, to me at least, are misplaced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helped a little bit! You seem like a wonderful, caring grandmother. He's lucky to have a relative like you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17734" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T18:48:48.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21813" CreationDate="2015-08-25T19:19:15.113" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Riding&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do start with lessons at a local riding school with appropriately sized ponies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A kid can start riding as early as 2 years of age (when they can sit upright), but many places that offers lessons have requirements that are usually between 4 and 8 years of age for lessons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you go look for a place, look for a place that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the horses look well fed and groomed (not icky stuff in their eyes, you may feel their ribs running over their sides, but you can not see individual ribs under the skin from 30 feet away*)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the horses feet look well maintained (you can internet search for pictures of 'bad hoof care' and 'good hoof care')&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the tack (equipment such as saddles and bridles) are clean, and does not show tears (wear is fine, but you don't want a broken stirrup or bridle). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the place is serious about safety instructions, and requires proper boots and helmets. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids are instructed in grooming and to some extend horse care too. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Caring&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older kids and young adults can care for a horse, to a bigger or lesser degree depending on their age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on maturity, I would say that around 8 or 10 they can start basic care. &lt;em&gt;The main issue here is you need to make the commitment to go and take care of the horse every day, or at least most days.&lt;/em&gt; &#xA;Kids can take care of basic things such as grooming, picking hoofs and possibly feeding and watering. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will probably need an adult to help make decisions around fly control, clipping (either doing it or deciding when to pay someone to do it), blanketing, shoeing, getting correct tack, selecting and purchasing feed and supplements, making decisions and reminders around proper vet care (both emergency care and routine care, such as shots, deworming, dental care). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A small kid would probably be too young to effectively muck out, or clean up a pasture. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older kids like teens can probably take care of most of these things, except maybe scheduling of routine vet care and making emergency decisions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that many things in the 'horse care' can be paid for. If you have your horse at your own place, you need to arrange for the waste to be taken away, fix fences, repair boxes, everything. Most places you board take care of this. Many places also have options that will allow you to pay for things like grooming, holding for vet or farrier, even tacking up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Owning&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to be an adult to own a horse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are the adult guardian of a person with a horse, you are in effect owning that horse, in the sense that you are financially and morally in charge of it's welfare. ( I believe this goes with any animal.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While older teens can do most or all of the care of an horse, it is a big commitment, and there need to be an responsible adult.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are not ready for that commitment, then your child is not ready for horse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*note: a select few races DO show ribs while well fed, but I have yet to see a pony race that does that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-08-25T19:19:15.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21819" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21803" CreationDate="2015-08-26T07:19:39.583" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;An occupational therapist is is not a doctor.&#xA;ADHD is a actual medical condition and should be treated as such.&#xA;Medical conditions require doctors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A diagnosis and treatment of ADHD requires a doctor.&#xA;Depending on your local, it quiet likely requires a Psychiatrist or a Pediatrician.&#xA;Potentially a GP, who has a lot of experience in the area might work,&#xA;though I would be cautious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;A specialist doctor can give proper medical advice,&#xA;this medical advice may include a referral to a psychologist, to a OT, or even a dietitian.&lt;/strong&gt; A doctor knows the expertise of the specific people they are referring the patient to, and how it fits in to a overall plan of treatment.&#xA;Far better than strangers on the internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you were advised to see a OT by a specialist doctor, then of course you should&lt;/strong&gt; (a a general guideline) &lt;strong&gt;follow their advise.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;If you have doubts about their advice, you are best asking them to clear up any question you have. They know why they advised it better than we could.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of misinformation around about ADHD,&#xA;perhaps in part because of incorrect diagnoses,&#xA;and perhaps because of selective reporting (eg Current affairs shows about &amp;quot;problem children&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;ADHD psycos&amp;quot;.). Many people &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; they know about ADHD (I had a pysio once who thought loose muscles was a little known symptom of ADHD. Everyone is a expert in their own mind.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you just go to a random OT who claims to be good at treating ADHD, you have no guarantee of their training. How reliable their knowledge source was etc. There is not any specific requirement in for a OT to have training in this area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where as if you go to a Psychiatrist or a Pediatrician, they have formal qualifications from a medical school. They will have specific knowledge about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Why you need to be cautious (my personal experience)&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A as a child I was diagnosed with ADHD, by a pediatrician. This has continued into adulthood. I was appropriately medicated, which worked very very well for me. I recently had to show a new psychiatrist my school reports so he could confirm the diagnosis. The change is absolutely marked. Obvious improvements in grades. Comments from teachers teaching multi-year studies (ie who knew me before and after the medication) about the sudden decrease in fidgeting and more paying attention. Medication was for me a very good answer. But I am no doctor (and nor is an OT) and can't make recommendations for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also have dysgraphia, which may be related.&#xA;Dysgraphia is the inability to handwrite.I was referred to an OT for my disgraphia.&#xA;Well first my school provided me with one, and then she referred me on to her mentor, a more experienced OT.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The OT did somethings that helped, and somethings that did not.&#xA;The OT wanted to address problems holistically,&#xA;so took the ADHD as part of the picture that incorporated the disgraphia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Things the OT did that helped&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sent me to a behavioral optometrist. Who found I had a tracking disorder, and with the OT worked to solve it. And also spotted early signs of my deteriorating vision (I now have 6/20 vision)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sent me to an Osteopath. Who realigned my spine and &amp;quot;cranial plates&amp;quot;. This took many months of weekly sessions. This did help with my headaches. I suspect going to a physio may have been more effect in the short and long term. The Osteopath thought she cure my ADHD this way, but told me and my parents not to tell the pediatrician. The osteopathy did seem to make me calmer, but I now attribute that more to the regular meditative/relaxing experience ritual.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sent me to a podiatrist, who found I needed orthodontics. This helped with a pile of minor pains.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many year later, I had to visited as different OT to get approval to have a computer in my university entrance exams. She looked at the facts, and wrote a recommendation in the the language the school authorities would accept, which got me special considerations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Things the OT did which did not&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talk about crystals, energyflows, and laylines. She also taught me to dowse with a pendant. (Complete garbage and not the kind of thing you want a impressionable child to here from a supposed expert)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diagnose me (incorrectly) with dislexia (rather than disgraphia). OT's have no diagnostic training&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do a whole slew of learning style tests, most of which I had seen at school before. And &lt;a href=&quot;http://psi.sagepub.com/content/9/3/105.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;which are now coming under increasing fire as not proven effective in real learning&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage me to keep on practicing writing. Which someone with suitable training would know can not help (most) people with disgraphia. A better selected OT may have been the answer. I would hope that a pediatrician could recommend a OT with experience in that area. And the same is true for ADHD.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rather expensive, and not covered by the national medical scheme or by my families medical cover.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Summary&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my overall impression of OTs is that the can look at the whole problems and look at all the issues and make some recommendations. I don't doubt that getting all the other things (like my tracking disorder) sorted reduced many of the symptoms which are associate with the ADHD. They also can speak the language the school system wants.&#xA;But they have no real diagnostic/medical experience, and can be absolute nutters. &lt;strong&gt;It would have been a utter disaster to have one as the primary person managing my condition.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think, on the other hand, had the OT being recommended by the pediatrician, I would have ended up with someone who was less of a nut, and who worked with my doctor to come to some really good solutions. If your doctor is recommending this, then by all means listen to their advise, and ask them any questions of your doubts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9209" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-09-04T03:01:11.403" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21820" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-26T07:26:49.987" Score="2" ViewCount="364" Body="&lt;p&gt;Asking this for someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their son did really badly in their AS levels, as he didn't work. He did amazingly in GCSE, and had 2A*s, 7As a B and a C. They could have done so much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this made him complacent and the 12 week break made him demotivated and not work throughout the entire year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, he got a B in biology, an E in chemistry, an E in maths and a D in physics. He could have done so much better. Now the parents aren't sure what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have several options, with lots of pros and cons for each&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, he wants to drop biology, as he hates it. He refuses to carry on with biology as the exam was really easy, and apparently it was a fluke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Option 1:&lt;/strong&gt; Retake the year at same school. (so do year 12 again)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can scrap poor AS results and start again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Government Funded&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;University  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The new A-Levels seem horrible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The year below are not a very good year, with poor results and lots of not very nice people (chavs)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would lose current friends a year down the line when they go to university.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Option 2:&lt;/strong&gt; Retake the year at another school&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fresh Start  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Has a good chance of going to university (long term goal)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will improve social life, and makes new friends.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Risk of not making friends (slightly socially awkward as bullied at school).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gambling if school will be right, as no time for open days.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Social side holding them back. There is a risk of not settling in well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Option 3:&lt;/strong&gt; Retake AS papers and do A2 at same time&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Only take a year&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No losing friends&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Less social life (there is a higher chance of having new friends at a new school, and going to parties and things)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Increased workload (doubled)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;High risk of not passing and not getting into university.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will get no offers and will have to apply through clearing for university.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any other plausible options? I have listed the first three options they have thought of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note: The son does not want to go to college.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has no idea what to do either. He needs AAB for university in the total A-Level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're in West Kent, in England.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I'm what this question is about ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't taken drugs&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just think I just let my social life take over my work life&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7890" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-08-28T12:38:28.250" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T12:38:28.250" Title="My son did badly in his AS levels because he didn't work" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1709" CreationDate="2015-08-26T12:52:24.050" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use sunbutter or wowbutter and jelly. They are peanut butter substitutes that are supposed to taste exactly like peanut butter, but are both 100% peanut free! I have a peanut allergy and I eat it all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17742" LastActivityDate="2015-08-26T12:52:24.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21820" CreationDate="2015-08-26T15:26:13.917" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Retake year 12 at the same school. Hopefully this will have woken him up to the merits of dossing. He doesn't need to lose his current friends, but then again he will see them less in lessons and that may not be a bad thing. There needs to be a cost to him of doing this, and if he bears that cost he will have learned a great life lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will still see his friends outside of lessons, and if the new crowd is a bad year that'll help him greatly. Practically, for his future desires (he wants to go to uni in the UK) he needs to retake yr 12. Going to another school means maybe not seeing his friends much at all, and that can be isolating at a time when he needs to also process his own failure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-08-26T15:26:13.917" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21805" CreationDate="2015-08-26T17:19:21.727" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Allergies&lt;/em&gt; to cats are believed by many sourced to be cause by saliva, urine and dander. Allergies to pollen brought in on cat's fur have also occaisionally been mistaken for an actual allergy to cat's fur itself. Before I suggest strategies to help combat allergies, I'd like to stress the importance of actually be sure as whether your child has an allergy first and to be sure of what's causing it. If you start tackling the wrong problem you would not only be putting yourself, your children and your cat through unneccesary measures, but your child's condition could be worsening in the mean time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can help mittigate the risk of a reaction to urine by making sure your cat is toilet trained and its litter tray is kept away from your children (which you should do anyway). If the cat was able to go outside to defecate and urinate this would be less of an issue as it may be more likely to go further afield to do so. Age plays a factor here as well since older cats are more likely to become incontenant or to be less picky about where they excrete.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A well groomed cat should have less dander and most cats are perfectly capable of grooming themselves unless unhappy or unwell. If you suspect dander to be an issue you can buy cat combs and help groom your cat (but don't force your cat to be groomed if it doesn't like being groomed). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saliva is harder to guard against, but keeping the child away from the cat's food and away from the cat when it is about to be fed can help. (Animals such as dogs and cats often pick up on signals that give away when they are about to be fed, which tends to cause them to salivate, as proven by Igor Pavlov's experiments in the classical conditioning of dogs). It's harder to keep the child away from a cat when it is grooming, the best way to achieve that would be to teach the child to be careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect your child might have an allergy, you should take the child to a doctor first to confirm the diagnosis. The doctor may also prescribe allergy medication which would be beneficial and perhaps provide additional information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11202" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-27T11:19:50.627" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T11:19:50.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1866" CreationDate="2015-08-26T18:49:35.580" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used an variety of techniques, but I know many people have had success with other techniques. The most important is to be patient, recognize if your child is developmentally and/or physically ready to recognize body cues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have a plan and discuss with all caretakers so your son will have consistent help and support. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no yelling/shaming for accidents - they need to feel okay with trying and messing up. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no pull-ups - our preference since pull-ups may obscure the feeling of wetting his pants&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have a diaper-free day/weekend - this is the hardest but it really worked. we had a day where our son ran around without diapers. We reminded him every 45 minutes or so to pay attention to his body or try to pee. there were a LOT of accidents, which is normal. try this on non-carpeted rooms and have a pile of undies at hand. You also have to be very attentive to him throughout the day, so don't plan on doing laundry or reading a book. The next point is critical to this exercise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if he starts wetting his pants, scoop him up and take him to the toilet right away. do this even if you don't make it in time to reinforce the association between the gotta-go feeling and the bathroom. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;treat/reward liberally at first, then taper off. start out with a treat or celebration every time he tries. as he gets used to it, start rewarding more verbally, or else you will always associate jellybeans with potty time. and so will he. (oh, and treat with non-food items too!) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;diaper overnight at first. your son may not physically be able to hold it for more than a few hours due to the size of his bladder.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;timers/alarms are your friends. start with trying every 45 minutes during the day. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I recommend &quot;reminding&quot; your little guy to try and potty, not asking him if he needs to go potty. that way, you don't become the potty police for the next three years. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;our guy was a little freaked out about no. 2, so we used a &quot;magic poop stick&quot; that he picked at the park. he held it during potty and it helps him, well, you know. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we got training potties, which in hindsight was a pain. he didn't like the big toilet, and the cleaning! ugh. go straight to the big toilet. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we started with sitting as many others have mentioned.  once he graduates to standing, the cheerio trick works perfectly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm a parent of a recently trained toddler boy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Many of these tips come from an eBook &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.3DayPottyTraining.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;3 Day Potty Training&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; by Lora Jensen. I don't like the hyperbolic title because it's not realistic, but the concepts discussed are great. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0738210498&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Touch Points&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; - does a great job of explaining developmental considerations when potty training (and in general)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our pediatrician&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Our daycare teachers (they've seen it all - definitely ask!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17744" LastEditorUserId="17744" LastEditDate="2015-08-26T19:00:48.043" LastActivityDate="2015-08-26T19:00:48.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4107" CreationDate="2015-08-26T19:14:20.717" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our cat became sick, we simply explained everything to our kids as it happened. We explained that while some treatments could extend the cat's life, nothing would ultimately work and meanwhile the cat would be in a pretty miserable condition.  We explained what euthanasia was, and when it could be used - for instance only for very sick animals, but not humans (though I suppose older children might be more involved in discussions about assisted suicide).  We explained what would happen at the vet's office, and asked them if they wanted to come during the process. Two did - the 8 and 9 year old - and the older and younger children did not (which was good because the room at the vet's office wouldn't have fit our large family anyway).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They distracted themselves during the actual procedure, and I wasn't going to force them into any particular way of acting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We then took the remains home and asked them if they wanted to be involved in digging the burial spot.  One of them did and the process was good for them as they came to grips with what they were feeling. For the next week or so we fielded questions about death, illness, and so forth.  One was particularly concerned about how euthanasia applies to humans - often asking various scenarios about themselves and checking to see if it was something we'd consider - and we were very consistent in our response that pets are different in how we treat them.  To a degree they are family, but whereas we will go to extreme lengths to preserve the lives and health of our children, we will not do so for our animals.  We love them, we miss them, but we don't put ourselves in financial or other significant risk for an animal, while we will most certianly do so for our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During this time we did end up explaining assisted suicide with them as well and how our religious values inform our decisions regarding our pets and family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The younger children were largely uninterested in the details - and despite most of the conversations happening around them they probably didn't fully grasp everything.  I don't know that there's an age cutoff where a less open discussion is needed - it really depends on the child and their capability and understanding - as well as your ability to manage the conversations that result. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Certainly I'd also recommend that if your children are under the care of others for any length of time (daycare, babysitting, etc) during this period, let the caregiver know the situation, and what you've conveyed, and what you'd like them to convey when asked about it.  You child may ask them specific questions, and if unprepared the caregiver may be flippant depending on the question or how it was asked, not understanding that your child is going through a grieving process. Make sure they are at least aware so they aren't 1) caught off guard and 2) say something they may later regret because they didn't understand the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-08-26T19:14:20.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21807" CreationDate="2015-08-26T22:12:13.930" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son plays with more girly toys and watches more girly shows. He likes the bright colors and the more relationship based storylines. He loves making things so he watches a lot of baking and decorating videos. At one point of time, that was all he liked. But as he went to school, and played with the other kids, he started to like more and more things, not necessarily specified for his gender. Most boys identify with their mother more than their father at such an early age, so they look at what mom is doing (dressing up, doing makeup, organizing) and try to imitate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see nothing wrong in giving him the toys he likes and encouraging him to explore more. Eventually, society will teach him distinctions that are entirely unnecessary to begin with. Why place those restrictions on him now itself? Let him be happy when he comes to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17751" LastActivityDate="2015-08-26T22:12:13.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21828" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21843" CreationDate="2015-08-27T08:32:36.167" Score="5" ViewCount="11786" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've got a 1 year old daughter and she is generally refusing to eat or drink. She started off not eating anything by mouth (and gags at textured purees), but eventually managed to get her eating smooth purees. In the last few weeks she'd also started drinking from an open cup with our help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now however she seems to be going backwards again - refusing to eat puree etc. She'll pick at finger food (chicken, cheese etc) but not enough. She does drink (but generally not much milk). The main milk she get's is from breastfeeding though she's doing this less now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She does have a medical condition (Turners Syndrome) but I'm not aware of any way that would affect her eating (apart from possibly making her a bit fickle). At the moment her weight keeps dropping (matching her 7month weight) and unless we can get her weight to head in the right direction she'll be admitted to hospital. She has been in the hospital once already for 4 days with an ng-tube (nasal-gastric) to feed her which was a horrendous experience for us and her. So we're really keen to avoid this again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm hoping for is suggestions on how we might be able to get her eating, we've tried singing songs, giving her toys to play with as a distraction but she tends to just close her mouth and shake her head refusing food. Video's on a phone sometimes work, but not all the time and I don't want her becoming dependent on them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should also add we have some &quot;high calorie&quot; powders prescribed that we mix with purees - which means while finger food is fine, the puree is what we need to get in her really. Unfortunately the whole &quot;babies don't starve themselves&quot; doesn't seem to be true in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17746" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T02:06:02.187" Title="1 year old refusing to eat or drink" Tags="|eating|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21829" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21833" CreationDate="2015-08-27T11:37:39.533" Score="9" ViewCount="1852" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a first time mom and my baby is three and a half weeks early. I am currently pumping, but am trying to nurse. Unfortunately, she won't even latch for more than 20 seconds and I'd say about 95% of the milk she gets is from a bottle. She is 2 weeks and 2 days old. My goal is to be exclusively breastfeeding her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I too late to change?  Help? Ideas? Advice? Lactation consultant vs. La Leche League? Also, my nipples are fairly flat. Thoughts on nipple shield or nipple shells?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17755" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-29T17:22:26.640" LastActivityDate="2018-09-29T17:22:26.640" Title="Can I still nurse?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|premature|first-time|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1709" CreationDate="2015-08-27T12:01:13.597" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almond_butter&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Almond Butter&lt;/a&gt;, it looks and tastes comparable but contains no peanuts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the camp might have problems with that too, although they are generally made &lt;em&gt;specifically&lt;/em&gt; as peanut-butter substitute and are thus safe for peanut allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-27T12:20:14.303" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T12:20:14.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21831" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-27T12:49:00.053" Score="7" ViewCount="4137" Body="&lt;p&gt;She says it's like she's a different person in her dreams, cruel and almost sociopath, and the people she loves in real life are out to get her, and to escape she has to kill all of them (and sometimes she gets killed herself). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This happens almost every night. In real life she's a popular, very kind, very emotionally stable girl who is normal except that she is extremely intelligent and has a slightly dark sense of humor, not like a disturbed kid, but rather like a burgeoning shock comic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, the most violent movie she's seen is the Hunger Games, which I don't think is violent enough to cause nightmares like this. Is this something I should be worried about, or do lots of children go through recurring nightmares? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried killing people night after night could be very traumatizing, especially for a child. Any input would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17757" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-03-16T06:33:51.100" LastActivityDate="2018-08-01T20:57:34.507" Title="11-year old having recurring nightmares about killing people she knows. Should I be worried?" Tags="|sleep|middle-childhood|mental-health|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21829" CreationDate="2015-08-27T13:38:51.747" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, nothing is &lt;em&gt;too late&lt;/em&gt;. I sense some very important things in your favour:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your milk supply matches her needs.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Two weeks is pretty early, even in &quot;standard&quot; cases BF is still not that established at that age.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You seem determined to make this work and willing to ask for help -an excellent attitude.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without more details, it's hard to give precise advice, but I strongly recommend getting help. Whether a lactation consultant , meeting with LaLeche or talking to a midwife is up to you and frankly depends a lot on the &quot;chemistry&quot; between the person(s) and you. I suggest 1:1 counceling to get started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And no, flat nipples are rarely a concern in breastfeeding (common myth, babies don't drink &quot;from the nipple&quot;, that would be very painful...). But you might have to coax your baby into nursing: These bottles are so easy to drink from, a breast means &quot;hard work&quot;. Preemies sometimes struggle with this and I suspect that's why you started with a bottle in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take your time, keep calm, get support and you both will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-08-27T14:26:42.550" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T14:26:42.550" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21424" CreationDate="2015-08-27T15:52:45.380" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've just recently potty trained my daughter.  This is approach I took:-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Picked a suitable day (when we didn't have plan for a few days) and stopped her wearing nappies (diapers) during the day at all.  I just put knickers/panties on her.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kept plenty of spare clothes nearby and carpet cleaner when at home.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kept a potty close by all the time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Each time she had an accident I sat her on the potty afterwards.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Asked her every half an hour if she needs the potty. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few days she really got the hang of it and it's been about a month now and she is dry most of the time (very occasional accident) and can tell me in advance when she needs to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11605" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T15:52:45.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21828" CreationDate="2015-08-27T16:38:52.503" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow, this sounds like a really tough situation.  My daughter has never had much of an appetite and it is often a struggle to get her to eat (forget getting her to eat anything she doesn't like).  Does your daughter like to go new places?  Sometimes when we would put my daughter in a stroller or car seat and take her places she would eat (almost absentmindedly) as part of the experience if we kept food in front of her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also (and this may not be a practical suggestion for you) but having a dog helped.  We would feed the dog bits of chicken and then feed her bits and she would get very excited about watching the dog eat.  Of course, she was old enough to understand the concept of &quot;taking turns&quot;, but you get the idea.  It might work with a cat, too, if you've got one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other thing, I have often noticed that babies seem fascinated by mouths, especially tongues.  My daughter thought it great fun to feed me, maybe you can work out a game where your daughter gets to feed you one and then feed herself one.  Make a big deal out of letting her see the food in your mouth and making it disappear by swallowing.  If you can turn eating into a game you've scored a big victory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T16:38:52.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21831" CreationDate="2015-08-27T17:12:55.603" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing to do is reassure her that even though this is unpleasant, and it is &lt;em&gt;important&lt;/em&gt; it doesn't mean that it is significant (as in something to get worried about).  Maybe you could find some books on dreams (vet them beforehand to make sure they will calm her fears, not aggravate them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is &quot;traumatized&quot; by the dreams it will probably be for one of two reasons.  The first is that she will get the idea that something is wrong with her or she is a bad person for having them.  You can help prevent that by making it clear that although you are sorry if it is unpleasant for her, you don't think there's anything wrong with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a lot of nightmares as a child and worst part of them was the emotional trauma.  I was terrified.  Sometimes I was afraid to go to sleep.  How does your daughter feel in these dreams?  Sometimes you will have dreams where terrible or wrong things happen but while you are dreaming they seem quite normal.  It is only when you wake up that you find yourself distressed by what you were dreaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the dreams make her experience emotional fear, that's a different set of dynamics, and you should probably think about taking it to a professional.  She may have fears going on in the back of her brain that even she doesn't realize she's having, and a counselor may be able to help her focus on the real issues.  As an adult I can look back and see what I was &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; afraid of as a child, and it had little to do with the actual content of my dreams.  My dreams were full of things that symbolized what I was afraid of, but didn't resemble them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If nothing else, the dreams are probably affecting her sleep and that can cause significant health problems.  They've gone on for long enough that yes, you should find a psychologist who can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T17:12:55.603" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21607" CreationDate="2015-08-27T17:20:45.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most effective way to prevent scar darkening is sun protection, since sun exposure can darken scars. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not clear from your post how severe the scar is. Unless it's disfiguring or disrupts physical movement or her self-esteem, I strongly recommend against any other interventions without consulting your pediatrician. Any skin concerns are usually referred out to pediatric plastic surgeons. Dermabrasion is, well, extremely abrasive, particularly on young skin and recommended for people 12+.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget, scars are a sign of strength and life well-lived! Don't worry too much about the appearance. I have facial scars and they're just a part of me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Me - I suffered second degree burns as an adolescent over 5-6 inches of my hip. It's on a bathing suit line, and the sunscreened half is almost invisible. The scars faded in about three years. The non-sunscreened half is barely visible. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My toddler has a nice lightning bolt scar on his forehead - healed very similarly to your daughter's scar. It's almost invisible two years later.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/wound-care-10/reducing-scars?page=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/wound-care-10/reducing-scars?page=2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17744" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T17:20:45.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6481" CreationDate="2015-08-27T17:35:14.760" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A two year old is able to change her environment to preserve breathing even in their sleep. Young infants aren't, which is why parents don't introduce blankets or loose toys until later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't threaten to take away blankets - it's not worth the fight and is not a health hazard. Just don't use a heavy blanket. Covering her head is perfectly normal, and it's obviously comforting to her. If you want reassurance, just check in on her a few times a night - and move the blanket. It's not worth the battle with a tired toddler. If you're still worried, call your pediatrician. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/408_when-can-my-baby-sleep-with-a-blanket_1368444.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/408_when-can-my-baby-sleep-with-a-blanket_1368444.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;my pediatrician&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17744" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T17:35:14.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20324" CreationDate="2015-08-27T17:44:54.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had mommy thumb too and ended up going to an orthopedist for help. Here's what he told me, which worked almost immediately...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When picking up your child, don't hook your hands under the arms. Instead, grasp his/her torso and squeeze in. This transfers the strain from your thumb (where the tendon is strained), to the entire hand and your forearm. It also helps keep the wrist straight. Or scoop child from the butt (@fastal mentioned this as well)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wear a wrist brace. This helps support any weakness (I was dropping things all the time).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take it easy on your phone... you add strain to your thumb with the motions on touchscreens.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! I hope you feel better soon!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Orthopedist&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/new-parent/motherhood/mommy-thumb-5-ways-to-ease-the-pain/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parents.com/baby/new-parent/motherhood/mommy-thumb-5-ways-to-ease-the-pain/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17744" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T17:44:54.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5258" CreationDate="2015-08-27T17:53:18.717" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My pediatrician no longer recommends taking temperature rectally due to the risk of injury. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similar to a prior commenter, the thermometer doesn't have to be uber-accurate. You basically need to know if they have a temperature, or have a temperature that requires emergency care. Both of those fall in a range, so being off by a degree won't end the world. Err on the side of caution if your child is on the edge of the range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2819918/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2819918/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pediatrician&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17744" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T17:53:18.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21829" CreationDate="2015-08-27T21:09:29.413" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first baby was 4 weeks early. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had a hard time latching, since his mouth was so tiny. He was also VERY small and skinny, and we were only allowed 15 min of breastfeeding as it wore him out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had a much easier time with a nipple shield for the first few weeks. It was recommended by a nurse, though my nipples are not flat. I would say go ahead and try, and see if your baby likes the shield better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing we did was to feed him using a finger, with a tube. The tube was attached to a syringe with milk. The nurse told us this would be better for latching on. You might try this and see if you can get her to suck your finger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would go for a lactation consultant in your case While LaLecheLeague have lots of good information, I personally find them a little biased. A lactation consultant or even your regular pediatrician or nurses at your hospital might be more understanding of the special needs of a premie. Of, cause, this is my biased opinion :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Holding the baby and the breast correctly will help, and you might try several things. I had to squeeze my breast to make it 'flat' to get it into my babies mouth. I also used a trick of putting a little milk under his nose, the smell will made him hungry and more likely to suck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing is too late, and bottles do NOT ruin the latch. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-08-27T21:09:29.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21828" CreationDate="2015-08-28T02:06:02.187" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 13 month old son who has a genetic condition that led him to having failure to thrive. He's been on an NG tube since 6 months old, so we understand how much of a pain it is to have one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I don't think there is an easy answer, or one answer that works for everyone. Our OTs have said that we focus on making eating pleasurable and fun, with no pressure. We try different things (even sweets) that he is safe to eat and let him play with it. He will eat a little, but not enough to grow on right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to just try lots of different things and let them play with their food and make it fun. The sad thing is that if she continues to lose weight, it might be better to go to a doctor, or even the hospital, as painful as that is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you talked to your pediatrician about it, and ask for a referral to a feeding clinic? If you're in a city large enough for a Children's Hospital or something similar, they may have a feeding clinic that can help with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17763" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T02:06:02.187" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21844" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21598" CreationDate="2015-08-28T03:10:38.183" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never really thought of it as a &quot;stage&quot; before but our kids had enough of a sense of what they were not suppose to be doing to get quiet when doing it around age 2-3. It's essentially at the point when they know a little about right from wrong, and they want to do what they know is wrong (such as playing with their older siblings' toys).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17763" LastEditorUserId="17763" LastEditDate="2015-08-28T19:02:24.343" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T19:02:24.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21845" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21849" CreationDate="2015-08-28T08:24:03.367" Score="50" ViewCount="14491" Body="&lt;p&gt;Suppose father XXX holds a college degree, usually comes home late and suddenly one fine day, stays at home. He lost his job. His son sees this happening. The father is a hard-working man, always advising his son to study hard so that he can earn a good living. Now, he is jobless and humiliated despite all his hard work. The son is smart but too blunt with his words. The father's heart was broken when the son said &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Why should I study so hard when you hold a college degree, work hard&#xA;  all your life and see what happened to you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The father finds it hard to argue with his son because the logic is sound. How would fellow parents advise him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4927" LastEditorUserId="4927" LastEditDate="2015-09-03T08:49:25.493" LastActivityDate="2019-02-07T21:31:46.073" Title="How should a jobless father advise his son when he refuses to study because of his educated jobless dad?" Tags="|parents|school|" AnswerCount="17" CommentCount="20" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T12:18:11.370" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could tell him it is the difference between having a chance and having no chance. People can work hard and do all the right things and still end up unemployed with a low standard of life, but on the whole it happens a lot less to educated hard working people than uneducated layabouts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also there is more to education than just getting a job, it is far easier to trick, scam and deprive an ignorant person of their rights than an educated person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T12:18:11.370" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T13:42:22.323" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is unlikely the son concluded this after a calm and rational examination of his options, but rather was reacting in the heat of the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Establish in subsequent discussions that the son's logic &lt;em&gt;isn't&lt;/em&gt; particularly sound. Advanced education provides a lot of opportunities. It does not guarantee permanent success (as the father has found), but it opens more doors and pays higher wages. (And the son will &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; need to work hard, whether in school, towards a degree, or in a job. It's a different sort of hard work if you don't have a degree... and usually doesn't pay nearly as well.) Also, basic education is important even for you're a manual laborer. Math and reading are critical skills for &lt;em&gt;everyday life&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But also, lead by example. Being jobless isn't the end of everything. The father has a college degree and has a long history of hard work. I know from experience that it's difficult, both emotionally and logistically, to find a new job. However, this is the time to lead by example: do that hard work, demonstrating to the son that a setback is not a reason to give up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-28T15:02:59.533" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T15:02:59.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T13:46:55.903" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why not advise your son to learn a trade? Tell him that once you have a trade, no one can take that away from you. You will always be able to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17767" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T13:46:55.903" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21849" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T14:47:57.053" Score="75" Body="&lt;p&gt;First and foremost, that logic is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; sound.  The argument boils down to &quot;bad things happen no matter what, so why should I try?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To give an analogous example, I can take meticulous care of my car and it could run for 10+ years.  But all that care will not put a magic ward around my car to protect it from a storm causing a flood or knocking a tree on to it.  By your son's logic, I shouldn't even bother taking care of the car.  And I would expect that car to be a broken down wreck after a couple of years.  But guess what?  By taking good care of my cars I have had &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; last 10+ years.  I've also lost some to having an idiot driver blow a stop light and cream my car.  But that doesn't stop me from taking care of my cars.  Because I am far more likely to achieve success (being defined in this case as keeping a car running for a long time) by taking steps towards making that happen than by relying on the universe's sense of chaos and justice to benevolently grant me long running car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this sounds cliche, but it applies here anyway.  Success is not measured by how many times we fall, but by how many times we pick ourselves back up.  The father in your story has a college degree and a history of hard work.  Those are tools he can use to pick himself back up and get going again.  Without those, it would be far harder to get a new job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure, there are stories of college drop-out millionaires and of people who studied and worked hard all their lives and are destitute.  But those are the statistical outliers.  Most people who study and work hard end up doing ok in the long run.  (Looking at the long term here is key as well.  Short term, the father here is not doing well.  Long term I'm sure he will be fine.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, not studying or working hard just restricts the opportunities your son could have later in life.  Those things don't guarantee success, but failing to do them can lead to certain failure depending on the pursuit.  (If you want to work at some place like NASA, you better have a college degree or it just ain't happening.)  Most people will never rival Jimi Hendrix as a guitar player.  Those who never bother to try learning to play a guitar certainly never will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Study and hard work don't make you immune to problems.  They better prepare you to deal with problems.  Since everyone is going to have problems in life, why would you want to make it harder for yourself by trading some play time now for a world of pain later?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T14:47:57.053" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T15:12:15.330" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The son is not asking a &quot;rational&quot; question. This is his feelings talking. Feelings need to be understood, and feelings need help to be converted to words. This is not a question to be answerd with logic. The son is saying &quot;I have a bunch of weird feeling going on, I don't know how to express myself! Help!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to understand him, empathise with him and give words to his feeling. Don't be afraid to dig deep. Maybe he's ashamed, maybe he's frustrated like you, maybe he's sad, maybe he hates school and that was the tipping point. Helping him express himself will help a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the dad lost his job, I'm sure he talked a lot with his spouse. He also need to talk to the kids. Explain what is hapenning, and explain what will happen next.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try to look busy in the house. Take the extra time to be with the kids. You could even ask their help in finding new job: &quot;Want to review my resume?&quot;, &quot;Do you know the new places on the Internet to find jobs?&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, remember, sometime kids see their parents as perfect beings and seeing something bad happen to them or seeing them fail at something hurt them a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-08-30T14:40:04.410" LastActivityDate="2015-08-30T14:40:04.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T17:44:20.653" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way I handled this situation worked really well for me, perhaps it would for you...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explained that a job is just a job, and sometimes jobs suck, sometimes they are great, and sometimes both for different people.  But in job loss, there is a great deal that is NOT lost.  You lose your particular income arrangement and role in whatever operation you were part of. But if you were a mechanic, you still very much ARE a mechanic, and a current one (until you set it down for too long).  Your education and experience make it this way, and you remain a powerful human with the ability to be a mechanic in another role in not too much time with luck in the job search.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But as you view it as a disaster or catastrophe, you teach being victim of something profoundly negative.  Now he sees college as something which has, in front of his very eyes, wounded the heart of his dad and he is sure to resent and blame whatever seems to be the cause.  If he's already intimidated by college, this would certainly not help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what I did instead was present the job loss as something not to be afraid of.  Bring it on!  I'll find a new one, and things will work out, because that's what I do.  Losing a job, especially unexpectedly, is a sufficient blow to your usual mode of operation to bring things to a screeching halt, and will test your character to be sure, but don't let it sink your ship.  It's a good thing for your son to see you affected, and whether he thinks so or not, he's being programmed by watching you for you teaching him how you see the world.  If you demonstrate being powerful through this, it will steer things a different direction than if you demonstrate being a victim to the woes and injustices of workplace politics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think if he ever loses a job and has children, he WILL remember these very moments with you, and that will matter to him, again possibly more than he'll realize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17774" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-28T18:55:54.317" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T18:55:54.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21854" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-28T17:49:34.917" Score="3" ViewCount="245" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our child had to miss the very last week of summer camp due to illness. Unfortunately, that last week was the time period when we planned to have the child ask their newly acquired friends for their contact information (parents' email or phone) to keep in contact after camp is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, the camp administration would not be willing or able to provide us with the other kids' families contact information for privacy reasons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are wondering if it's an acceptable practice to ask their help to - instead - do the reverse, and &lt;strong&gt;ask the administration to provide the other children's parents with our contact information and a short note&lt;/strong&gt; that our kids were friends in camp and a cordial request to resume contact between them after camp if they wish to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-06-26T11:54:36.787" LastActivityDate="2018-06-26T11:54:36.787" Title="Is it acceptable to ask summer camp administration to give other campers' families our contact information?" Tags="|activities|friends|etiquette|usa|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T18:01:32.660" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of answers already. Most (all?) of them are good. But there's one important piece of this that none of them address: how do &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; feel about your situation? It sounds to me from the wording of your question like you have some lingering doubts about your own life choices. You need to sort that out or you will lack credibility when attempting to address this with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two (only two) options: chance at success or certain failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child may not succeed (and who defines success? is your life/career over because you lost your job?) by studying hard/learning a trade/etc but will &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;certainly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; fail (for almost any meaning of &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; term) by not doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastEditorUserId="12008" LastEditDate="2015-08-29T17:27:50.777" LastActivityDate="2015-08-29T17:27:50.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T18:55:24.720" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;The son could be helped with examining whether he actually thinks that it's true that higher education is useless, or just that this argument happens to fit with his current desire to not do the work.  The way you do that depends on the child's age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is indeed interested in whether education makes a difference, perhaps show/discuss some data (&lt;strong&gt;if&lt;/strong&gt; he's responsive to that way of thinking - depends on the emotional state of the situation).  In general, I believe that in the US it's pretty clear that the higher the education, the higher the %-employment and pay.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2011/06/22/137340857/the-value-of-college-in-2-graphs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The value of college in 2 graphs&lt;/a&gt;:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2011/06/22/youngworkers-unemp-3-_custom-259c0994116b9316b9902e03333e3dad9365c965-s700-c85.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Unemployment vs. HS/College Degree&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.bls.gov/emp/ep_chart_001.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Education level vs. Unemployment % &amp;amp; Income&lt;/a&gt;:&#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.bls.gov/emp/images/ep_chart_001.png&quot; alt=&quot;Earnings &amp;amp; Unemployment vs. Educational Attainment&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;(From US Bureau of Labor Statistics)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Doesn't include apprenticeships or on-the-job training, which presumably help you as well.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As other people have answered, employment numbers are statistics - so low unemployment numbers like 2% still mean there are 2% unemployed - perhaps including the father.&#xA;Also, the particular choice of major is important.  But income is not everything - &#xA;doing something you enjoy for 8 hours a day is worth a lot of money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17776" LastEditorUserId="17776" LastEditDate="2017-09-27T19:46:58.203" LastActivityDate="2017-09-27T19:46:58.203" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21854" CreationDate="2015-08-28T19:59:41.110" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is certainly a possibility, and something that I would do myself in this situation.  Be prepared for the camp to say no, of course; they may well simply not want to bother.  But, if you have a good relationship with them and they're an understanding group, they may be willing to help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would prepare a note - either an email, if other business was done for this camp via email, or in stamped envelopes if not - and give it to the camp, and ask them to address and forward them on (explaining the reasons of course).  E-mail this may actually happen; if the camp had the policy to mass-email people for other things (schedules, etc.), they may well be willing to mass-emailed the note out.  Paper envelope it's probably harder to get them to do (as they'd have to hand-address them all), but perhaps you can get them to do one or two (if one of the other campmates for example was sufficiently social that he/she might have many other contacts).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure you were busy with dealing with your child's illness, of course, but in the future if this happens again and you're able to think of it, it's more likely to get aquiescence with this sort of thing if it involves handing the children themselves the notes, before camp finishes; we did a similar thing with pre-school last year, giving notes with our contact info to all of the kids at the school so we could link up over the summer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T19:59:41.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T21:21:20.393" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;If I were not educated, we would not have all the things we currently have.  Sure, today I don't have a job - but if I had not had a job for the last X years can you imagine where we would be and what kind of life we would be living?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;This joblessness is a bump in the road.  Lots of people don't have jobs.  Half of them don't have degrees - but I do.  This means that even though I'm jobless right now, I have a much better chance of getting a job more quickly than someone less educated.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Education is a little like a concrete foundation.  If you build on sand and just stick wood into the ground, it may suffice for awhile, but it will get blown over by even minor storms.  With education, though, you have a strong foundation to build on.  Your life will be much more secure.  It doesn't protect you from the worst of life's storms - but it helps with the minor storms, and when a bad storm comes along, you still have the foundation, and you can rebuild just as good a life as you had before much more quickly than can one who is just sticking wood into the soft sand.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T21:21:20.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T21:31:38.033" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Daring to kick father XXX in the pants in an attempt to try to assist in rising above the humiliation:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is father XXX now forever crippled and broken, never again to dare reach for greatness?  Or is father XXX just currently jobless and humiliated for a spell while busily learning from this lesson how to become a stronger better person, and then forging a new path, one step wiser than before?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's the latter then one solution to the son's challenge is to just grin at son a wiry, hungry grin and proclaim:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You think this is where I end, son?  Then you go ahead and sit back and wait to see where I go next.  You wait and see, young boy.  You just wait and see.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, when the time is right, go kick life in the pants.  It probably needs a good kicking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Nothing teaches the next generation lessons of character quite like a real life demonstration.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T21:31:38.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21807" CreationDate="2015-08-28T21:54:40.403" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child should be able to play with whatever toys he wants to play with.  That said, some toys are more problematical than others.  I would not be concerned with the &quot;doll&quot; part of the Monster doll toys, but the sexualized, unreal body types are a little baffling.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you think he picked these toys because that's all he knows -- perhaps you can introduce him to new things.   Get a box and put a sample of toys in it; every week choose something different and offer to play with it with him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:  Find an inexpensive play shopping cart with plastic food items and play grocery store clerk -- then get a plastic tool belt with plastic tools and play repair-person.  Get a bucket of Duplo blocks, or simple wooden ones, and build towers with him.  Playing matching games with him.  (All the cards are face down; each player takes a turn turning over two at a time, trying to find matching cards.)  Get a baby doll and play house; find a soccer ball and kick it around outside.  (You can get things like this at yard sales, if money is a problem.)  Spend time making things with paper towel rolls and tape and string, or coloring with paper and crayons. Try to leave gender out of everything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After he's played with everything with you, he'll have a better idea of what types of things there are, and what things he likes -- then let him choose.  And if he still chooses the Monster dolls, that's fine -- you know that those are what he truly wants to play with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T21:54:40.403" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-28T22:28:08.613" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Losing a job is gaining life. Even if you are a college degree holder, worked hard forever, and raised your kids to believe that college is the way to go, a loss of a job just means a chance to move onto something fresh. Possibly better, depending on the perspective. Plus, how much worse would things have been had he never got a degree and got the job he just lost? You all could have been living in a single wide with an extension cord running from the neighbor's garage, which in itself could even be a good life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I'm saying a job is a means to an end. The more education &lt;strong&gt;AND EXPERIENCE&lt;/strong&gt; you have, the better chance you have for getting a better job, or not needing a job in the first place. Mr XXX may very well be on his way to his own business with a new motivation, his degree, and all the experience he has collected over these years. And losing a job shouldn't be humiliating, though that's all in the eye of the beholder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think I would try to project to your son that this is not a bad thing. Jobs come and go. They always will. It's better this way anyhow because stagnation can lead to a repetitious and potentially boring life. Call it fate if you want, but life may know better than you do that it's time to move on to other things. And moving on is easier when you're educated, when you have experience, and when your family supports you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were mr XXX, I'd take this time to soak in the joy of living and go hang out with his son. We all could use a little time off here and there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T22:28:08.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="94" CreationDate="2015-08-28T22:32:24.120" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Myself and my two brothers, according to my parents, all tugged our ears when we were tired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I actually still find myself doing it once in a while if I'm exhausted and I've caught my niece and nephews exhibiting the same behavior. IMO, it's a telltale sign that they're &lt;em&gt;doneski&lt;/em&gt; : T-minus 30 min until complete meltdown; get the story book out or you'll regret it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This thread at &lt;a href=&quot;http://ask.metafilter.com/68693/Its-just-so-earrational&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;ask.metafilter.com&lt;/a&gt;, agrees with all the answers here, including this one. Basically, if they don't have an ear infection or problems with their Eustachian tubes, then they're just tired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although their link is dead in that post, a user says: &lt;em&gt;I had always heard that there is a specific &quot;calming&quot; nerve in the ear that helps one to relax when stimulated.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try it yourself. It feels good, and soon you'll want a nap (you remember naps, right? That thing we all want to do after a large meal ;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9910" LastActivityDate="2015-08-28T22:32:24.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2015-08-29T04:49:08.917" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure this is a question in which anyone person can answer for another. Nor do I believe there is a right or wrong answer. I have two siblings one is and social dysfunctional alcoholic and he was the favored middle child.....hmmmm. I myself am highly educated responsible oldest, and then my free spirited but reasonably responsible sister is youngest. We did our fair share of fighting as younger children and there were tomes I vehemently resented having siblings. Now my sister and i are the best if friends and I rarely see my brother. My husband and son are both only children. My husband has fantastic social skills and has always had a great many friends and wonderful people skills. He is extremely successful in his work and holds two degrees. He has a fabulous, loving relationship with his parents unlike I've rarely seem. I certainly don't hold a close relationship with mine. My son is a fabulously adjusted little 6 year old. He is very even tempered and caring and sensitive. He is respectful of adults and gentle with young children though has no desire to be a big brother and we have no desire for more children. Basically the point being that any data collected trying to prove one right or wrong is still just a journal of personal preference. People of different personalities will react accordingly and there are no guarantees when having a second/third child that they will bond with the other. In the end doing what is right for you and your family is all that matters. If one feels perfect the  great, if you yearn for more that's great too. There are no guarantees any such children will be better off with or without siblings, loving them and providing for the children we have is the best we can do,as well as ensuring our own happiness as that reflects upon  our actions and treatmental towards others. When a family is unhappy and stressed it is felt by all and the ramifications can be cripplong , I know. I grew up not well off, very introverted and angry and I had siblings. But my siblings turned out different than me with the same parents. Go figure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17785" LastActivityDate="2015-08-29T04:49:08.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16394" CreationDate="2015-08-29T10:14:20.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love this and am 13. My 10 year old brother loves it and my 7 year old cousin! The worst words said are &quot;ass&quot; &quot;crap&quot; &quot;bloody&quot; that is literally it. There is slight violence but think about it, every fairy tail ever invented is pretty brutal. But it shows sword fights with princes and ogres and stuff. But u don't see anything that gory or violent. Anybody can watch it in my opinion&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17788" LastActivityDate="2015-08-29T10:14:20.260" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2994" CreationDate="2015-08-29T17:31:56.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hiring an Indian babysitter/nanny who speaks Hindi, and secure bilingual daycare, are probably the most effective strategies for raising a bilingual child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17792" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-08-30T14:42:07.467" LastActivityDate="2015-08-30T14:42:07.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-29T18:52:25.313" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Turn the question around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Why should I study so hard when you hold a college degree, work hard all your life and see what happened to you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;What did happen to me, exactly? I lost &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; job, sure. But look around you, see this house? If I hadn't gone to college, I would have never had that job in the first place. I'd be an assistant manager at a fast food joint or gas station, and we'd be living in a little apartment without air conditioning. You'd be getting around town on a bicycle, and a nice dinner to celebrate something would mean getting Chinese delivered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And &lt;strong&gt;that's&lt;/strong&gt; why you should keep studying.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Replacing the examples with something more appropriate/accurate/relevant if necessary, and/or focusing on whatever luxuries the son cares about the most, etc.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17352" LastActivityDate="2015-08-29T18:52:25.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21831" CreationDate="2015-08-29T20:53:44.873" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;My best suggestion is that it's time to see a good adolescent counselor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nightmares are normally more common (or at least, more memorable and reported) than &quot;pleasant&quot; dreams, and vivid dreams often have a recurring theme. But if this were happening to my child, there's nothing on this green earth that would keep me from giving her the opportunity to discuss this with someone who could not only reassure her, but possibly treat her as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X%2800%2900195-6/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Treatment of chronic nightmares in adjudicated adolescent girls in a residential facility&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10519-009-9310-z&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Do Nightmares and Generalized Anxiety Disorder in Childhood and Adolescence have a Common Genetic Origin?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S089085670961830X&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sleep-Related Problems Among Children and Adolescents With Anxiety Disorders&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jora.12007/abstract;jsessionid=06557791D2E9A11E559E0CE2B6B3795A.f01t04?userIsAuthenticated=false&amp;amp;deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dream Recall Frequency and Unusual Dream Experiences in Early Adolescence: Longitudinal Links to Behavior Problems&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-08-29T20:53:44.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21871" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21873" CreationDate="2015-08-29T23:04:46.567" Score="4" ViewCount="986" Body="&lt;p&gt;I talk a lot with my almost two-months daughter. In many cases I mention her name, even though I don't think it means anything to her yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I was wondering: when do newborns / babies start responding to their name? When do they understand the fact that it points to exactly themselves?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-baby-respond-to-her-name_6719.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;When will my baby respond to her name?&lt;/a&gt; and they mention 7 months. However, I still wonder: does the word itself represent anything to them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-08-30T08:47:37.897" LastActivityDate="2017-10-09T08:20:25.123" Title="When do babies start responding to their name?" Tags="|newborn|names|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18694" CreationDate="2015-08-30T00:13:39.773" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although the question stands at 7 months old now, I would like to shed some light on this as a 16 year old guy myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend is 15, fully a year younger. We have been in a relationship since she was 13 and I was 14. We had sex for the first time at 14/15 and we are still together, with no children and both happy, while still practicing regular sex. Both my and her parents know about this and having spoken to them on the same level, they trust us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is that children nowadays are much more mature around each other than around adults - it's something normal as even most of you act differently around your parents, thus your children's grandparents.&#xA;The OP's son may need a chat, but don't go in with a story to scare him, and DO NOT SPEAK TO HER PARENTS! This will make your child distrust you, as it is something they should do when the time comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him if he is ready and speak t him about what is important in sex - the pleasure of the other person, and that that is what should be bringing him enjoyement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to the previous answers pointing out the law - it is a very sexist and debased set of laws, which are mostly put in place to stop child sexual exploitation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just because they are young does not mean they are stupid or immature, or can't think for themselves and have to be given a framework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17795" LastActivityDate="2015-08-30T00:13:39.773" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21871" CreationDate="2015-08-30T07:09:33.153" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer varies depending on the child and his or her environment and interactions with parent(s). In general, it is around 6 months of age. Both my daughter and my son started reacting to their names right around then. Whether they understood that it was their name is another matter. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17796" LastActivityDate="2015-08-30T07:09:33.153" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-08-30T12:19:20.183" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One answer would be: &quot;I have just lost my job. That was a shock for me, but I'm getting over it and I will find a new job. However, having my son, who is close to an adult, come to me with that kind of stupidity isn't helping. I have to worry about money, I have to worry about finding a new job, don't add to my worries right now. You are old enough to be responsible for what you do&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastActivityDate="2015-08-30T12:19:20.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21753" CreationDate="2015-08-30T16:17:11.987" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There may be several alternatives to just locking her into her room, that may lead to your final goal of getting her to sleep alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would it be very bad for the sleep of the older child to let your younger one sleep in the same room? I had a hard time moving my oldest son out of our bed to his own room, but it was relatively easy to move my middle child to the lower bunk under his big brother's bed. But my kids were older than 1 when they moved to their own rooms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could another option be putting a mattress down on the floor of your room or of your older child, and letting your younger child leave her bed to go to sleep there when she wants? If she feels she can go to you when she needs to, she might not be so upset when put in her own bed. For some time she might immediately go to the mattress, but eventually she would stay in her own bed longer and longer if you read her stories there and made a pleasant night routine. Good luck-- time is on your side!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17799" LastActivityDate="2015-08-30T16:17:11.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2738" CreationDate="2015-08-30T21:53:15.957" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both of my older children (now with kids of their own) used good old fashioned, 4 castor wheel walkers. My son walked at 11 months and has no back, hip, or tendon problems. My daughter walked at 9 months old - yes - and used the walker ALOT, before she walked unattended at 9 months. She is an elite athlete and also has no tendon, hip problems.  She did have some cervical spine problems, but this was very directly related to her sport of choice and she was in her mid 20's when it occurred.  Yes, be careful about steps etc, and don't leave your child in a walker/bouncer for 20 hours a day, but the claims they delay development seems like guessing to me. Where is any real research? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17807" LastActivityDate="2015-08-30T21:53:15.957" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21877" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21878" CreationDate="2015-08-30T22:16:53.597" Score="5" ViewCount="596" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a (almost) 20mo daughter who currently sleeps well in her crib. There is a futon in her room that one of us uses frequently when she wants someone close by to sleep or needs help getting to sleep. Her room is safe for her to be in for a short period without hurting herself. We have a video monitor to watch her when we're not in the room. I've started thinking it would ok to convert her crib to the toddler bed (not exactly, but similar to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=23371996&amp;amp;cp=2255957.2273443.68293816.2256245.3252292.3250660&amp;amp;parentPage=family&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt;) My husband says &quot;don't rock the boat&quot; because she does sleep well in the crib. I like the idea of giving her a little more freedom to get out of the bed when she wakes without having to wait for one of us to come get her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any reason to put off converting to a toddler bed? What things should I consider when we do make the switch?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T03:04:15.907" Title="How young is too young to switch to a toddler bed?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|bedroom|crib|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21877" CreationDate="2015-08-31T02:31:25.757" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We switched both of ours to toddler beds between 18 and 20 months, so that's certainly not &quot;too young&quot; in my opinion and experience.  Switching to a toddler bed in our case was driven by necessity: both of ours could climb out of the crib by that age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter can't climb out of the crib yet, you certainly don't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to, but that's not to say you can't.  What you should expect and consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bedtime will be harder for a little while.  Especially at this age, when she's starting to learn she has some ability to say 'no'.  She might run around at bedtime instead of going to sleep.  Ours certainly did.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure you really understand what letting her get out of bed on her own means.  It means she'll get in your bed sometimes.  It means she could go anywhere in the house that is accessible.  If you gate or close her door, either she'll learn to open/climb/etc., or she'll just be crying in a slightly different place...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She will probably fall out of bed occasionally, even with a rail. Don't stress too much about this; it's not a very far fall, after all, but it will be upsetting to both of you the first time it happens.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be a lot of fun for her, of course, in addition to all of that.  The additional independence is quite nice for her, and she'll enjoy climbing in and out. If you're disassembling it yourself, I recommend letting her help - hold a screwdriver or something. That will help her with the transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T02:31:25.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21877" CreationDate="2015-08-31T03:04:15.907" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might no be the most &quot;accepted&quot; thing to do, but my kids slept with the wife and me from day one. In many ways, this is equivalent to a toddler bed since as soon as they were mobile they could get out of bed. So no time is too early. Our solution to the height issue was to scrap the bed and just have a mattress. Just make sure there is nothing she can get into that would be dangerous, and make sure she has some toys that she can get into so she doesn't go looking for trouble. Based on the experience of friends, the transition is usually problematic whenever it happens, so either you'll have to through that now, or later if you wait.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14460" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T03:04:15.907" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21880" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-31T04:37:10.060" Score="-1" ViewCount="324" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old granddaughter lives with me and I have her a lot of the time because my daughter works nights at her job. From the time she was born she didn't really sleep much. She didn't even take an hour nap. And until this day the child just doesn't want to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I religiously give her a bath for 6:30 and start the process of winding her down. I have her in bed for 8:30 every night. Because my daughter and family members rocked her in a rocking chair and/or layed with her in her bed since birth, it's the only way she'll go to sleep. Friday and sometimes Saturday night I'll keep her up until maybe 10 - 10:30 hoping that she'll sleep late the next day. Well that &quot;never&quot; happens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm really desperate for suggestions. What can I do to make her sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17809" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-15T13:45:44.977" LastActivityDate="2018-07-15T13:45:44.977" Title="What to do about my 4-year-old granddaughter who doesn't like to sleep?" Tags="|pre-schooler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21884" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-08-31T15:04:24.677" Score="3" ViewCount="215" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 20mo grabs at her genitals whenever she's naked (which is often as it's warm outside and she's toilet learning). She yanks on the outer labia and pokes at the inside. It looks rough to me, though she doesn't seem to care. I keep her nails trimmed so she doesn't scratch herself. I'm hesitant to stop her because I don't want her to feel shame for being curious about and exploring her body. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's an appropriate reaction to this? I want to teach her it's ok to touch her own body, but she should be gentle so she doesn't hurt herself (Is she cognitively able to understand that if it hurts she has to stop? Can she make this connection?)and there are appropriate times and places to do this. What language should I use?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T15:04:24.677" Title="Toddler roughly touching her genitals" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2015-09-02T18:25:10.043" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21155" CreationDate="2015-08-31T19:46:44.883" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Too Long; Didn't read&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Emphasize similarities, not differences&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach them to avoid expectations of being rejected merely for being from poor background&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Immunize them (teach to ignore) disdain from some jerks who will reject them - don't let bad attitude discourage them, EVER. &#xA;But important part is to not treat everyone in advance as if you expect them to be a jerk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensure that they value hard work and study. Those kids like the ones you encountered value those values most of all in anyone they meet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, since this site encourages answers from personal experience, here's my background:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I went to what would be considered a &quot;extremely bad inner-city school&quot; in USA, for 7 years.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I was a member of an actively discriminated against ethnic minority&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I immigrated to USA with ~$5 in my pocket and very poor knowledge of English&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As a result of the latter, I had to attend one of the worst colleges around, and work 4 simultaneous part time jobs while studying for double major.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I didn't have access to ANY computers for much of my upbringing. I had to learn C and Pascal and LOGO &lt;strong&gt;on paper&lt;/strong&gt;, via correspondence class.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;blah-blah-blah, barefoot in the snow uphill both ways for 10 miles.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Despite all these, I studied very hard my entire life, and as a result, I achieved high academic success both during my school years (including successfully applying for and excelling in, a magnet science high school that I had to travel 2 hours/day the bus to attend; and a good job right after college)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My only &quot;privilege&quot; was that I had extremely supportive parents who considered studying to be the most important thing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what did that experience teach me that could help address your loaded question(s)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The approach that I would recommend would be to help your students to get rid of &lt;strong&gt;their own biases and prejudices&lt;/strong&gt; (which unfortunately appear to be shared by yourself and sadly, likely color their views). I'll unpack below, addressing your points one by one:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;We took the bus 2 hours to get to the lab&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does the fact that they spent 2 hours on a bus significantly impact their ability to do academic work, or are you simply trying to stoke your student's envy over irrelevant differences? They could have used those 2 hours on the bus to read relevant literature, study, or engage in academic discussion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, today I spend ~2 hours every day on commute every day to work. Does that tell you anything about my socio-economic background? Or my present socio-economic status? Or whether I spend those 2 hours productively?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;em&gt;what do you do to accustom your students?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you explain that those 2 hours can be spent productively. They can read textbooks, or articles, on the bus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you stop encouraging irrelevant envy. Does the fact that they don't get to go in European vacation somehow impact their ability to study physics or do physics experiments? Far as I'm aware, those kids you encourage to be jealous of, don't go to Europe to intern at CERN, they go there to relax. Something one can equally well do in California. Or better yet, spend that time studying instead of relaxing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;they responded with a low-income school's name, there was some audible discouragement in my students' voices&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an interesting fact: one thing missing from the questions wording - not by accident, i wager - was that there was no discouragement from the &quot;rich&quot; students upon hearing the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Geeks can be as snobby and not-nice as any collection of humans, but they generally tend to be less caring of how you look or how much money you have. So if your students don't start off expecting hostility, you may find that they won't actually encounter any hostility, and instead find friendship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;What do you do to accustom your students?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that they are valuable human beings. That those they encounter are the same. To start off being friendly, and see how that goes. Some people will be friendly - or even helpful - right back. Some will act like French nobility and can and should be safely ignored. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pretty much how everything will go everywhere in life - those students of yours AND every other human is always in a mix of people who are nice and jerks, people who are better off than they are and some who are worse off. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;'those other kids didn't seem normal'&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, that &quot;seem&quot; is the root of the problem. Those other kids are deep geeks/nerds, who spend nearly all their waking time studying, and such. This has nothing to do with &quot;socio-economic background&quot; other than one important factor: in their background, they are shamed for it somewhat less (since you explicitly mention &quot;minority&quot; issue, look up the &quot;acting white&quot; phenomenon of minority academic achievers being shamed by their own community). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;What do you do to accustom your students?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, you work with their parents so the parents are as supportive of their academic aspirations as possible. This explicitly includes counteracting peer pressure around &quot;acting white&quot; negativity. Second of all, you try to reverse this mental construct they have that the other kids your encountered are &quot;not normal&quot;. Of course your students won't to mesh with someone &quot;not normal&quot; (see below). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Guess what, those other kids are not &quot;members of higher socio-economic class&quot;. They are &lt;strong&gt;human beings&lt;/strong&gt;. Just like your students. Perhaps if you stress that fact to your students, they would have a far easier time seeing themselves in UCLA lab environment than if you keep stressing the differences.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;one of my students seemed discouraged by the fact that some of the other students had already been working on the project for a number of years and that he/she is just now getting involved in research&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, this one is definitely a valid concern that does need addressing. Thankfully, it seems worse than it is in reality, if you keep things in perspective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;What do you do to accustom your students?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are four approaches to this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One was somewhat addressed by an existing answer - you should explain to your students that they may be slightly behind, but not nearly as much behind as it seems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The difference between someone who did advanced work for 2 years and 0 years is nearly infinite. 1 year later, if your student is willing to put in an effort, the difference between 1 year and 3 years of experience will be far less. 5 years later, it will be negligible. Now, it's bloody difficult for a high school kid to apply that kind of far view - that's where &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; as the adult of influence in their life - and hopefully, their parents as well - come in. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A second approach is to remind them that they aren't dealing with average kids here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those kids doing physics labs at UCLA are the far tail end of distribution - the uber geeks (yes, I'm aware that this ironically somewhat contradicts the second bullet point about &quot;not normal&quot; I discussed above).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;90% (or, likely, 99%) of kids who will attend UCLA - even of from the same &quot;higher socio-economic class&quot; - do not and did not go to UCLA labs for several years while in school. So, the kids you work with aren't going to be judged on an impossible level against the best of the best of the best (tm Will Smith). Instead of &quot;this is what I can't ever be&quot;, those student your encountered should be viewed at &quot;this is the level of knowledge and skill I can aspire to in a couple of years as well&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This one may not sound fair, but you should teach them that they are likely to need to work harder than other students, to overcome their current disadvantage. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, find out what labs those other &quot;rich&quot; students who came to the lab did before, and study all the theoretical materials and calculations for those labs. You don't need to be in a lab to do that, just to work hard. Open an account for them on a forum that helps younger students with science questions (a physics equivalent of MathOverflow) and encourage them to ask there if they are stuck. Work, study, work, study. It's not as fun as hangin' out with their friends, but &lt;strong&gt;it's the main thing they need to achieve and to close any gap they have&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To top it off - your students should USE the fact that they are more experienced students! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Guess what, geeks love to show off how smart they are - and many, if not most of them - tend to do it by teaching those who know less. Heck, just look at StackOverflow for a pure, distilled uber-example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if the kids you work with start off with the attitude &quot;hey, this dude/dudette is like me, but had a chance to learn more, I should be friendly with them and see if I can learn from them&quot; - they would get a great boost, probably more than they can get out of teachers. Of course, to do that, they do need to shed the hostile &quot;these are the enemy class&quot; &quot;not normal&quot; attitude that seems to be fostered among them. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17816" LastEditorUserId="17816" LastEditDate="2015-08-31T20:08:45.953" LastActivityDate="2015-08-31T20:08:45.953" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10923" CreationDate="2015-09-01T09:23:13.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding while pregnant is safe as long as you’re healthy and careful about having healthy diet and plenty of fluids. Most of the moms worry about whether they are eating enough to nourish the baby growing inside and for breastfeeding the nursling but our bodies are amazing they know how much to have. Have a healthy, well- balanced diet - eating when you’re hungry and drinking when thirsty is all that you need to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breastmilk will be nutritionally sound throughout pregnancy but the taste of the milk changes and the breastmilk production decreases as the pregnancy progresses. These factors may lead the nursing child to wean on his or her own.  Better to consult your doctor to provide guidance and will confirm you whether to continue breastfeeding or not. It all depends on your health. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T09:23:13.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21447" CreationDate="2015-09-01T10:52:05.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not meaning to put you down in any way, you suffered abuse and are the victim. However, it's going to take time for your children to come to understand that as well. Understand also that until they do, in their eyes, you abandoned them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was abandoned by my  mother for a time under very similar circumstances. I knew my step father was a piece of a garbage, but it didn't matter, she was the one that left and I resented her for it. My step father was always physically abusive, but it increased significantly when she left. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you say you were around regularly after leaving, but who knows what was going on when you weren't there. I'd bet nothing good and in the mind of an abandoned child, it's your fault, not the abuser. Again I'm not meaning to shame or blame you, I'm just explaining from first hand experience the thought process of an abandoned child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As much as you were the victim and this isn't your fault, apologizing to your children as if it is your fault would go a long way. But be clear: don't give an apology like &quot;I'm sorry but your Dad was abusing me&quot;. Any &quot;buts&quot; don't matter and will seem like justification, which would only make things worse. Even though it's not, your children are convinced that it's your fault. Trying to convince them otherwise over such a sensitive issue probably isn't going to work and just backfire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through what you have and I'm sorry for the challenges that lay ahead on the path to healing. But healing can and will happen in time, all the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user17824" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T10:52:05.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-09-01T15:44:43.133" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Study for interest, not for a job. I'm very glad I did that, and even if I lost my job, I would still have the interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(This may not work if you've said studying is just so you can get a job.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13796" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T15:44:43.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2015-09-01T16:33:13.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Why should I study so hard when you hold a college degree, work hard all your life and see what happened to you?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This claim is hard to argue against because you are struggling with that question yourself. Consider everything you have, right now, because you went to college and worked hard. Consider the opportunities you took, and even the ones you didn't. I know if I hadn't gone to college, I wouldn't have my current friends, family, car.. just about everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son would never admit it, and might not even know it, but he is probably scared. He sees you, a role model, work so hard and be successful, and then suddenly you are unemployed. Subconsciously he might be thinking, &lt;strong&gt;&quot;If you can't get a job, why would I be able to? What if I can't get a job either? What if I go to college and put in all that hard work for nothing? Why would that be worth it?&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may have asked in a negative way, but it is a valid question. What would you tell him, if he voiced the words in bold instead of saying it the way he did the first time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer: Even with what happened to me(&lt;em&gt;losing my job)&lt;/em&gt;, I would do it all again. For the reasons I gave above, but also because college is an experience which teaches you what you are capable of and guides you towards what you'd like to do with your life. Being jobless is only temporary. I still have my degree. Sure, it's possible that I struggle to find a job, but I am much better off for having gone to college than I would be otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That argument means nothing if your son's goals don't involve going to college. I have known people who basically want to spend their life spending the minimum effort in order to have a place and just enjoy themselves otherwise. Ask him what his goals are, but if he isn't sure then college is a great place to go while figuring it out. The alternative is starting on a job now. If he's smart, he could probably work up to being a retail manager within 2-10 years. There's nothing wrong with that, if that is what he is happy with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T16:33:13.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2260" CreationDate="2015-09-01T16:56:45.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://thenightlight.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Nightlight&lt;/a&gt;, while not &lt;a href=&quot;http://thenightlight.com/about/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;directly&lt;/a&gt; affiliated with &lt;a href=&quot;http://thewirecutter.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Wirecutter&lt;/a&gt;, aims to be a similar kind of &quot;we tested everything in this category, and if you want one of these, this is the one you want&quot; kind of definitive resource for baby products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I've read there seems to indicate they've got the right idea, but the site is young and doesn't cover heaps of ground yet. And, like The Wirecutter, it tends to have a US-centric bias.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17698" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T16:56:45.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21831" CreationDate="2015-09-01T17:00:06.593" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before jumping the gun on taking her to a therapist, you need to evaluate her emotional ability first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone has bad dreams, especially young children. It's part of growing up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, while she's having dreams about killing people she knows, that's not necessarily something you should start paying a counselor to solve. A lot of these issues can be solved by talking to the kid themselves. Six months is a relatively short period of time for recurring nightmares, which are usually caused by some aspect of the persons current life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to make sure they understand the difference between reality and their dreams, which I'm assuming she does since she is 11. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also important to &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; make the child feel as if something is wrong with them. Taking them to see someone &quot;special&quot; can do more harm than good. As someone who had similar experiences, being forced to take medication and see a doctor every week can be very depressing and debilitating. Children at school-age are very susceptible to peer-pressures and teasing, which can cause self-image damage that only further deepens their issues, and feeling &quot;wrong&quot; amplifies this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since her behavior hasn't changed, there doesn't seem to be an issue.&#xA;In my personal opinion, the only thing you should do is reaffirm your child that it's alright, it's &quot;just a phase,&quot; or some other form of comfort. A child's trust and a parent's word can go a long way. However, keep an eye on their behavior and if anything really out-of-character happens, then reconsider.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, I would like to mention that many children are heavily influenced by their parents, even going so far as to have mini placebo-like effects. Perhaps you could consider some form of &quot;solution&quot; that you had as a kid that helped the exact same problem, such as something silly like sleeping with a teddy bear. It is lying, however, the fact that the child's parent is saying it will work can be a powerful 'fix' for the child who believes it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember my own grandfather told me that if you take the stem out of an apple it's perfect to eat, and so naturally, being 8, I did that for every apple I ever ate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user17829" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T17:00:06.593" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21898" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-01T19:14:56.257" Score="3" ViewCount="175" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year-old son gets distracted very easily.  We know what most of his triggers are, and usually deal with it by avoidance, but often avoidance is either unavoidable or undesirable.  For example, being in a group of more than 3 or 4 people is highly distracting to him, but he can't just stay away from people his whole life, even if he wanted to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing we have found that &quot;works&quot; is to continually put him back on task verbally, but that is very short-lived and isn't pleasant for either of us.  He gets distracted even on tasks he enjoys, that were his own idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What strategies can we teach him to help him to manage distractions on his own?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-18T16:37:04.340" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T16:37:04.340" Title="Strategies for identified but unavoidable distractions" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21899" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21901" CreationDate="2015-09-01T19:55:23.140" Score="5" ViewCount="1812" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't always have an option for a babysitter. They are both out of school and my son is very mature for his age. Am I wrong for allowing them to stay home alone being that they're both under the age of 18?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do have &lt;strong&gt;video surveillance&lt;/strong&gt; in my home, which is connected to my i-phone, so I can see exactly what they're doing at any given moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17817" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T21:13:45.037" Title="Is it OK for my 16 year old son to watch my 10 year old daughter at home alone while I'm at work?" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12726" CreationDate="2015-09-01T20:37:44.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe star stickers are a bit... well trodden, but like you said, you can try re-name them to xp, or currency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;once enough currency is gained, you may translate it into actual $$ (no need for a lot) to buy basic ingredients for DIY projects to do with your kids (nothing like quality time with them..).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could possibly build a system where there's a nice stack of DIY ideas that your kids are into, and each has a price, or &quot;xp-required-to-unlock&quot;, or a level requirement (you could level up by successfully completing other projects)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;after a few rounds of DIY's with your kids, they may feel comfortable and secure enough to try out some on their own.&#xA;Best of luck - parenting is hard work :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17832" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T20:37:44.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21899" CreationDate="2015-09-01T21:13:45.037" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you trust them not to fight and to listen to each other, sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been a babysitter since as young as 13, and there's 6 years of difference which should give enough additional overweight for the older one. As long as you explain that this is actually baby-sitting (meaning he can't just go out with his friends while &quot;on duty&quot;) and your son agrees with that, it shouldn't be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be careful about doing this too often, though. Your son has a life of his own and unless he happens to enjoy being an unpaid babysitter probably has other stuff he wants to do during vacations and the like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-09-01T21:13:45.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11648" CreationDate="2015-09-01T21:33:07.160" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a nanny to an 18-month-old girl. I have been with her since she was 4 months old. I also have 2 grown girls. The most important thing you should do besides giving lots of love is talk to your child. Explain what you are doing as you go through your daily routine. If you open the refrigerator say &quot;I'm opening the refrigerator&quot; etc. Sing songs engage make it fun. Read a lot of books. Teachable moments happen all day long. Children are curious and are soaking up everything you do and say. Children grow up very fast; enjoy this time with your child and remember to breathe. Your child's learning is only limited by the limits you put on them. The child I watch has an extensive vocabulary, knows colors, shapes, letters and numbers. Have fun and explore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17835" LastEditorUserId="13586" LastEditDate="2015-09-02T12:22:14.313" LastActivityDate="2015-09-02T12:22:14.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21904" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21905" CreationDate="2015-09-02T08:42:17.183" Score="2" ViewCount="2028" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know why my dad is sooooooo slow. He wakes up late, washes his face for 10 minutes, brushes his teeth for 20 min, has his tea for 10-20 min, shaves for 20min, baths for 20-30 min, applies creams on his face for 10 min, slow in discussion making, and finally has his lunch at 3:00pm. If a normal person takes 2min to complete a job he take 20min to complete the same. I don't know why is he like this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way I can make him faster?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user17841" LastEditorUserId="2058" LastEditDate="2015-09-02T14:00:02.610" LastActivityDate="2019-04-23T15:39:37.827" Title="My father is too slow at his daily routine" Tags="|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ClosedDate="2019-04-23T18:52:22.323" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21904" CreationDate="2015-09-02T15:58:18.277" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there any way I can make him faster?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Among the many, many things you'll learn as you age, one of the most important lessons is that you can't control other people, you can only control yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Commonly, people trying to get other people to change their behavior try talking, explaining, getting angry, begging, shaming, bribing, etc. All this will usually have little lasting effect on someone's behavior; the person who has the problem must recognize the behavior as a problem that &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; want to change. When that behavior hurts us in some way, this is very difficult to accept. You've already stated that he doesn't seem to wish to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try calmly discussing with your father how his actions have a negative impact on you, for example, if his monopolization of the bathroom is making you late for school, you can try to &lt;em&gt;negotiate&lt;/em&gt; some course of action that involves some give and take on both of your parts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably the best thing that can come out of this is to really remember how your father's actions make you feel, why they make you feel this way, and determine that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; won't do this to anyone else, especially your spouse and your children. Learning from the mistakes of others is a valuable life skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't a very helpful answer, and I'm sorry for that. The only other thing I'd suggest is that he might benefit from a blood test to determine if he has hypothyroidism, which can physically slow people down in the way you describe. If he's always been this way, however, it's not likely that it's a medical condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-09-02T15:58:18.277" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2738" CreationDate="2015-09-02T17:52:40.307" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Short answer: In moderation and with oversight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long Answer: Much of what is being said via studies holds true for many activities. Either by way of being in that situation  IE: In a walker a baby may fall in a pool - but only if they are near an open pool; The child in a walker may burn themselves or pull something heavy on top of themselves - Really? My child's walker is in the sunken living room, and the heaviest thing in there is sofa cushions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally and personally: My child has been in a jumper or walker for about 20 minutes a day for the past several months. Now at 10 months she is walking unattended across rooms to be with a parent or to grab a toy. Not once has she been burned in her walker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17846" LastActivityDate="2015-09-02T17:52:40.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21831" CreationDate="2015-09-02T18:30:51.720" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;DISCLAIMER: I'm not a mental health professional, or someone with any formal training in the field.  The below is my opinion and not a substitute for work with a mental health professional.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may help your daughter to realize her dreams are symbolic --they in no way mean that she's a latent killer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dreams are rarely literal, but they can have significant psychological meaning.  The stresses of adolescence often lead to an increase in disturbing dreams.  There are a set of methods collectively called &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamwork&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;dreamwork&lt;/a&gt; that can help the dreamer come to terms with the issues being explored in the dreams.  These include keeping a dream journal, drawing pictures of the dreams, and visualizing new versions of the dream while awake, including trying out different actions or writing different endings.  I had horrible nightmares around the same age, and these techniques helped me out a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may seem counter-intuitive, but focusing on your bad dreams can actually make them less frequent.  If your subconscious is trying to tell you a message, you typically do better by listening to it than by trying to ignore it or suppress it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-09-02T18:30:51.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21909" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-02T20:45:01.707" Score="9" ViewCount="454" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is twelve months going on thirteen, but cannot walk. However, he started mimicking sounds as early as 8 months and can now speak fairly understandable words. Could there be problems with his ability to walk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17850" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-02T22:38:17.597" LastActivityDate="2015-09-06T15:08:25.820" Title="When is it normal for a child to start walking?" Tags="|toddler|development|milestones|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21909" CreationDate="2015-09-02T21:04:59.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter didn't start crawling until her 1st birthday.  She was walking when she was 18 months, and now at 2 she runs and climbs all over.  She was also an early imitator/talker and says sentences now.  I think she didn't crawl until she was 1 because she was an only child and we gave her anything.  She needed motivation to make the effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17847" LastActivityDate="2015-09-02T21:04:59.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21909" CreationDate="2015-09-02T22:56:02.630" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of my three children, each started walking at a different age. The youngest did not walk on his own until nearly 14 months -- he was very cautious about his balance, and apparently did not want to risk falling over. The middle one started walking around 12 months, and the oldest was walking at 13 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children meet developmental milestones at different times: children may be walking by 12 months, but not &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; will be. Some children walk as late as 15 or 16 months. (Ref. &lt;a href=&quot;http://drhart.net/clinic/forms/Denver%20II%20Developmental%20Milestones.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Denver II Developmental Milestones chart&lt;/a&gt; -- look towards the bottom for gross motor skills, which include walking.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has not met other age-appropriate milestones (crawling, sitting without support, standing, &quot;cruising&quot;), take your son to a pediatrician and be specific about why you are worried. A doctor has more information and expertise, and can take additional factors into account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-04T11:27:38.793" LastActivityDate="2015-09-04T11:27:38.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21913" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-03T03:36:19.290" Score="0" ViewCount="529" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do I make my 10 years old boy to do his study with interest? That is, how I can make him have passion for studies? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also he seems little less mature to his age. If I ask him to do some maths some and study 1 chapter of science he will finish it off in 10 minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To what I check whether he has studied well or not. This cycle goes on and on.  If I just leave him his grades will go  down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am really confused - how to make him study? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17853" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-09-03T06:48:54.517" LastActivityDate="2015-09-04T13:45:18.117" Title="Homework for 10 year-old" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21913" CreationDate="2015-09-03T08:30:22.973" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first - and probably shocking - answer is:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;You can't &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; him interested and passionate.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few reasons why this won't work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Permanent motivation and passion, by definition, are &lt;em&gt;intrinsic&lt;/em&gt;, this means you can foster, encourage and strengthen his interest, but you can't create, let alone force it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The concept of &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_gratification&quot;&gt;delayed gratification&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; develops over time. While a child can understand that something unpleasant or uncomfortable will bring a reward &lt;em&gt;in the near future&lt;/em&gt;, realizing that practising his math may contribute to a comfortable lifestyle &lt;em&gt;in two decades&lt;/em&gt; is often too much to imagine.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there are a few things you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step back and evaluate your own motivation, hopes and fears.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Why&lt;/em&gt; are you driving him to study, is it real slipping grades or some vague insecurities about the future? A wish that he &quot;shall do better&quot; or envisioning some future profession can gain a momentum that can crush the present. That said, I don't mean that your problem is imaginary, but I encourage you to try to be as objective as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find an agreement about how much work is expected and reasonable.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If you like, get his teachers on board. Assess, how much work is really necessary: Homework probably is non-negotiable (but I've known other cases...), but is extra study really recommended? If so, what are the subjects and what is the time frame?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Encourage his curiosity.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You know best what drives him. Let him read about what interests him, visit museums, do experiments... In short, create an environment that encourages learning, but led by him, not by you. This &quot;gets his brain on track&quot;, likely having positive aspects on less favourite subjects. And sometimes it's the really small things - I have seen a new pen work magic with a lazy and sloppy writer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Train delayed gratification.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Start small, e.g. doing homework in the afternoon earns screen time later or, in a second step, on the weekend. A sticker / points system makes it transparent: Each task earns him a point, he needs n points for a pre-defined reward...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Move the conflict zone out of your home.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If homework and study create tension in your parent/child relationship, consider gettting external help. A study group (but he's probably too young for that) or an elder kid can supervise without a personal relationship. A student or retired teacher can offer extra explanation if he has to catch up in some subjects. Self-directed study can be too difficult for a 10-yo, especially if he's a bit immature for his age. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Accept failure.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Sometimes we need to experience the consequences of our actions. If we don't practise, we might fail a test or get bad grades. If we don't work on a project, we have to face the consequences. If we don't do our homework, we have to fess up to the teacher. Luckily, at ten neither of this is the end of the world. Let him learn this lesson now while it has little influence on his later career. But it's your child that has to learn this lesson, no amount of talking will be as effectice as experiencing it. So consider stepping back and watch from the sidelines while the teacher does his job.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-09-03T08:30:22.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="158" CreationDate="2015-09-03T12:38:13.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The penny or m&amp;amp;m method: &#xA;Give the child ten pennies (m&amp;amp;m's, raisins, whatever they like) at the beginning of the day. My Mom did this, and it worked wonders for the kids that were suckers. Each time the child was caught sucking, Mom would tell her (smiling) she owed a penny! For a five year old, the thought of being able to keep ten cents all for herself was very enthralling! The habit was broken very quickly, and now at sixteen and eighteen, my sisters are still very careful how they spend their hard earned money! ;) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17857" LastActivityDate="2015-09-03T12:38:13.793" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21917" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21926" CreationDate="2015-09-03T16:49:24.370" Score="2" ViewCount="397" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10-year-old pees in the bed every now and then. Is this just a &quot;I'm too lazy to get up and use the bathroom&quot; issue or is this caused by stress? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17817" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-01T12:04:09.183" LastActivityDate="2019-08-01T12:04:09.183" Title="Why does my 10-year-old still urinate in bed?" Tags="|behavior|middle-childhood|bed-wetting|enuresis|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21918" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21920" CreationDate="2015-09-03T17:11:15.963" Score="4" ViewCount="2905" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter gets angry, she makes this mean looking face and then starts punching on her legs. Should I be concerned about this behavior? I do tell her to &quot;stop it&quot; and I would ask her, 'Why is she punching herself?'. She would respond with, &quot;because I am mad&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a problem that may become a much bigger problem as she gets older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17817" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T20:27:17.453" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T20:27:17.453" Title="My 10 year old daughter punches her legs when she gets angry or doesn't get her way" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|violence|emotional-well-being|anger|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21917" CreationDate="2015-09-03T18:21:15.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think some kids just have more difficulty.  I have three brothers and one of them wasn't completely accident-free until he was thirteen.  Another was dry by the age of seven.  My son was about nine when he had his last &quot;accident&quot;.  All you can do is help your son manage his anxiety, and to understand that no child would willingly pee in his bed just to avoid the effort of getting up to use the toilet.  You might ask him if he wants a waterproof sheet on his bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-09-03T18:21:15.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21918" CreationDate="2015-09-03T18:34:38.693" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;In some ways this might be considered a healthier reaction than punching other things.  It shows that she is trying to control herself, but she doesn't know how.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son had anger issues and it helped when we got him one of those inflatable punching buddies.  We made sure he understood that it was absolutely okay for him to punch it as much and as hard as he wanted.  When he popped it we just bought him another.  I think it helped that we were able to explain to him that there is nothing wrong with &lt;em&gt;feeling&lt;/em&gt; anger.  The important thing is what you do when you are feeling that anger.  There are &quot;good&quot; ways to express anger, and &quot;bad&quot; ways.  Give your daughter good ways and she won't need the bad ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children feel the need to express their anger physically, with punching or destruction, and others can express it more cerebrally.  My sister used to give her daughter reams of paper and tell her to draw pictures of how she felt when she was angry.  This resulted in many pictures of my niece hitting or shooting people, of my nephews being hanged, decapitated and thrown into sewers, and once of several pieces of paper being cut up into tiny pieces and thrown all over her room :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-09-03T18:34:38.693" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21921" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21924" CreationDate="2015-09-03T18:41:51.383" Score="10" ViewCount="13312" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a child who has gone off to college and did not perform well his first year. We also found out during this time that he smoked pot in high school a little, and during his freshman year at college was dropping acid, smoking pot, and taking with some prescription medication like Adderall (not his prescription).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a summer's worth of counseling, our child says that he will abstain as long as we're paying for school. He is mad that we're &lt;em&gt;controlling&lt;/em&gt;; we're saying that you do it, we're done supporting you, if you thinking we are controlling because of us not wanting you to do drugs... please... we don't care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still thinks we're the screwed up parents and it's a generational thing, and provides a flood of information and &quot;studies&quot; that claim it to be overall harmless. As support for it being OK for him to do, he cites legalization efforts, reduce punishment (making possession a misdemeanor). As parents I don't much care for what other parents think is OK and my child seems to hang around other kids whose parents actively &lt;strong&gt;let&lt;/strong&gt; their kids smoke pot. Blows my mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record, I did drink in school, and I did smoke pot twice and it didn't do much for me other than make me paranoid. I haven't done any drugs since. I believe a lot of kids experiment (giving it a try or two). As an adult, I don't &lt;em&gt;do drugs&lt;/em&gt;, and I average about one drink a week, usually socially. He likes to say pot is safer than alcohol. But he cannot grasp that while I don't get drunk, he fully gets high or goes on a trip for 4-8 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am an adult with a fully developed brain, he's an adolescent with a brain that has not completed development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the best ways to get a kid to put drugs in their past and move on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="343" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-05T07:44:25.220" LastActivityDate="2018-01-17T02:16:06.040" Title="How to convince an adult son that pot and LSD, even used sparingly is not acceptable" Tags="|adult-child|money|conflict|emotional-well-being|drugs|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21921" CreationDate="2015-09-03T20:51:40.150" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suggestion&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; 1. Transfer to nearby college&lt;br&gt;&#xA; 2. Live at home and obey rules&lt;br&gt;&#xA; 3. Early curfew&lt;br&gt;&#xA; 4. Mandatory AA meetings or church sponsored group&lt;br&gt;&#xA; 5. Optional required part time job&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Details&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a sad situation and it is compounded by the fact he is a legal adult now.  From the college topic I would absolutely only pay for college if he lived in the home (is there a community college nearby?), obeyed all rules including an early curfew, and maintained a 3.5 gpa.  I would also let my child know I have full rights to all their stuff and will be looking through whatever I want anytime I want.  The last thing I would want is drugs in my house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is may cause the situation to come to a head and a fallout between you and him.  I suggest a solid plan for handling that in a way that doesn't end with you closing yourself off to him.  &lt;em&gt;I always advocate love and open communication which is not at odds with consequences and expectations&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what chance there is for him to clean up without some serious consequences maybe even by the law since drugs are involved and stealing seems to be already happening.  The only idea I have that might work is to start taking him to AA and try to find him a 'cleaned up' mentor who can share his loss and misery from drugs and maybe spare your son the same experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A wise man once said &lt;strong&gt;a tired dog is a good dog&lt;/strong&gt;.  I try to keep myself busy to stay out of trouble.  Anyone who wants to can handle a job with school especially when they can't go out and do drugs in their free time.  So, I'd also suggest insisting on a job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-09-03T20:51:40.150" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21921" CreationDate="2015-09-04T07:31:47.060" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he brings in studies, you can always do the same... but they should be balanced ones, that nevertheless support your point: that yes, compared to most legal drugs, it may be harmless: in moderation and for an adult!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;An added benefit would be that you can teach him how to actually read and evaluate studies.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Make him aware of interaction between drugs as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; to be &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; choice; even if he truly gives in while financially dependent on you (instead of pretending to give in and secretly continuing drugs), you will not have changed his actual opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also: I think it is great that he is willing to actually discuss it! Do not push him (at this stage, it sounds like he would push back just on basic principle), but be wiling to listen to his point, admit that his point actually is sensible, but still has flaws.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;And, last but not least&lt;/strong&gt;: With adderral being listed: could he have turned to the drugs because of stress and bad performance... and not have performed badly because of the drugs? Try to find out which one is the case, he may just need alternatives to deal with stress and pressure!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adding Comment from @Erica because she put it better than I:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Whatever hole he feels on his life needs to be filled with drugs --&#xA;  stress, boredom, depression, whatever trigger it is -- needs to be&#xA;  understood so you can help him look for alternatives for when the&#xA;  [trigger] gets so bad and he can't help backsliding. (I will note that&#xA;  Adderall is an amphetamine and heavily abused; given the context of&#xA;  the other drugs, I doubt it was being used as a tool to focus.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastEditorUserId="11241" LastEditDate="2015-09-04T12:54:22.663" LastActivityDate="2015-09-04T12:54:22.663" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21917" CreationDate="2015-09-04T08:15:29.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some kids just don't realise it when they pee in their sleep. In addition to the plastic sheet, you could stop water intake about an hour or two before bedtime(only IF possible) and insist on a visit to the bathroom before tucking them in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To find out if its anxiety talk to the child in the morning about possible causes by asking about dreams/nightmares they might have had in the night. Make the pre-bedtime rituals fun ones and maybe add a night light so that visiting the loo in the night is not a scary task.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2015-09-04T08:15:29.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21917" CreationDate="2015-09-04T11:53:59.030" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So there is a mix of things that can be done and things that are going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Older children can sometimes bedwet through trauma that's happened to them, for which they will require some therapy to get over. The trauma may not visibly show itself in any other area of their day-to-day lives, however it'll be in their thought life. Also it could be many things not just the very dark stuff (SA, CSE etc) like being bullied at school, fear of school, friends betraying them at school, home life changes etc. etc etc etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kimwhitaker.co.uk/personal-injury/bed-wetting-a-sign-of-trauma/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This link&lt;/a&gt; for an exposition of bedwetting in children with trauma. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article also points out that 1% of children are still bedwetting at age 15; what percentage of that is primary enuresis (never stopped) or secondary (has stopped for a period of six months and restarted) due to things changing or trauma or something is not stated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are things that can be done in the case that it's not trauma related, like giving your child big drinks so tahat they learn better bladder control and of course the rewards system whenever they do have a dry night with no condemnation when they don't (as that can make it significantly more difficult to stop.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-09-04T11:53:59.030" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21929" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22005" CreationDate="2015-09-04T13:41:41.940" Score="9" ViewCount="576" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many questions on here asking about sleepless children but my wife and I are starting to come to our wits-end and none of the advice we've found (here or otherwise) seems to fit our situation or no longer works.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is because as our four and a half year old daughter is getting older her will and determination is getting stronger. She is a rather stubborn child and, to be fair, she gets that that from both parents. We've read most common advice and tried it all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is how this plays out.  My wife and I follow our normal night-time routine, starting at 7:00 PM.  We sit down and read to both of our children* and they get a final, small snack while we read.  After corporate reading and snack, we head to potty-time, brush teeth, and put both kids to bed.  For our daughter, this involves reading a short book, singing a song with the lights out and walking out of the room.  My wife and I rotate who takes which child every other night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been a mostly-successful routine but, progressively as our daughter has gotten older and smarter, she's found ways to try to get out of bed and come out of her room.  I'll spare the stories but she's smart enough to discern potential parental &quot;loopholes&quot; and will try to exploit them.  After a round of two of sending her back to bed, she resolves to laying in bed from 15 minutes to an hour and then cuts on the lights to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me be clear-- the 7:00 PM bed time routine is very-well crafted. Wait until 7:30 PM and, based off of behavioral observation, you've waited to long and she'll be over tired.  On those nights you know the task of getting her to bed is going to be a struggle involving tears of at least 2, if not 3, individuals in our household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried to follow the advice of other's and just ignore her behavior that happens in her room. Usually she quiet and not causing problems.  We have no clue how often she does this throughout the night, but on multiple occasions we've found the light on in the middle of the night, and she's surrounded by books or toys.  Also, she will wake up early in the morning if she hear's me getting ready.  I leave the house at 5:30 AM, and she's often up with lights on, some times clothed and ready to start her day!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This wouldn't be a problem but all of this sleep deprivation is starting to dramatically effect her attitude.  After a couple of good AM hours, the tiredness starts to kick in and she becomes cranky and hard to deal with, and understandably so.  She's exhausted!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've long given up on a nap time because that became a fight over a year and a half ago.  Instead, it's a &quot;rest time&quot; where she has to be quite and in her bedroom for an hour where we encourage her to read on her bed.  About once every  2 weeks she will nap (and nap hard.)  Those become good evenings because she get's some of the catch-up sleep she desperately needs and we'll often put her to bed closer to 8:00 PM because we don't want her to go to bed and not be tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for the rather long post but the bottom-line is that our child is refusing to rest at night time if she can prevent it.  When we catch her awake, we try to cut off the lights, and reset the room to a sleep-time state. This always results in an angry toddler, who often ends up crashing, usually within 10-15 minutes of us cleaning up her room and cutting off the lights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are fit to be tied.  Our rather well behaved &amp;amp; good daughter is stealthy and hates sleep.  However, this comes at the expense of my daughter (and wife's) day-time sanity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should we do?  Is there a point when we should see a doctor about this?  IMHO, this is completely behavioral stubbornness but you can't force a child to sleep.  This is an issue of control and the kid just won't sleep, and no amount of consistency, routine, loving reassurance, or autonomy seems to help her help herself and GO TO BED.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Our other child is a 2 year old boy.  We have no problems with him and his sleep routine.  He doesn't sleep as much as the average child his age but he does handle our routine well and sleeps when he should sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2935" LastEditorUserId="2935" LastEditDate="2015-09-04T14:24:58.430" LastActivityDate="2019-05-14T13:46:56.917" Title="What to do with a child that won't sleep, to the detriment of their day?" Tags="|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21913" CreationDate="2015-09-04T13:45:18.117" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stephie has a good answer and I'd just like to add a small piece that may help.  &lt;strong&gt;Try sitting with your son and doing some work you have to do while he does his work next to you&lt;/strong&gt;.  This may be a good for a number of reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bond with your son&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Show&lt;/em&gt; him the value you place on sitting down and doing work&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can stay involved exactly with what he is doing daily&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Create and reinforce a routine he will benefit from for life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest is 10 and I've noticed that if I don't show her the value of something by spending my personal time involved with her/it then she assumes it isn't important.  While she doesn't always want to do things I want her to (chores for her) I find if I stay consistent with my expectations, consequences, and personal participation by working in parallel with her she responds much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-09-04T13:45:18.117" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21921" CreationDate="2015-09-04T23:09:39.507" Score="12" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are the best ways to get a kid to put drugs in their past and move on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're doing it now, pretty much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't change your child's thinking any more than he can change yours. But you can exert the control you have over his behavior by limiting your support of him financially. This is perfectly legit, unless mental illness is involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you stated, his brain is still developing. He may eventually come to reject drugs on his own later on. But he has to want to do it himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I may offer some advice: arguing with your son about drugs is fruitless. Inform yourself to the best of your ability (which means keeping your mind open to a certain degree), and avoid debates while keeping communication open. I personally would get mighty sick of arguing with my son about whether I was controlling. Just admit it right off (yes, you control your own money), and if he doesn't like it, he is a person with free will who can decline to accept the conditions if he wishes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maintain healthy boundaries. Read about boundaries if you don't have a lot of experience with them. Respect his as you would expect him to respect yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he knows your love is unconditional even if your monetary support is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We have a child who has gone off to college and did not perform well his first year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is common regardless of whether or not kids did drugs in high school. Don't be too quick to blame it on drugs. It's usually not because of drugs; rather, drugs are used because of the stresses accompanying being on your own for the first time. So make sure he has ample love, support, and understanding with issues he may be experiencing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. This is a hard issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-09-04T23:09:39.507" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21933" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-05T07:55:08.017" Score="2" ViewCount="813" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please advise me how to solve this sensitive issue so that my son and the girl both understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son, who is studying 12th std, is attracted to a girl of same class who is his tuition mate and stays nearby in the same layout. I found their late night chats on WhatsApp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I get my son to stop all this and focus on his studies, which is very crucial now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18868" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-05T16:27:57.063" LastActivityDate="2015-09-05T23:07:23.580" Title="How can I convince my teenage son to focus on his studies?" Tags="|teen|dating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21933" CreationDate="2015-09-05T16:55:32.037" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you need to follow your concern with his studies to its logical conclusion: if his studies are not suffering then there is no reason for you to object to their relationship (her studies I would leave to her parents). So I would suggest you talk to your son about your concerns, but make it clear that you are happy for them to pursue this relationship as long as his schoolwork does not suffer. That way you look reasonable (nothing will put a teenager's back up faster than a parent making arbitrary rules) and at the same time you gain extra leverage if his studies start to flag for any reason at all.  You also get to say things like &quot;you can go out with her on Saturday night as long as you have finished all your homework by then&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bear in mind that one of the most effective ways to make him determined to play Romeo to her Juliet is to forbid him to see her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-09-05T16:55:32.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21921" CreationDate="2015-09-05T17:01:51.120" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer to getting someone off of drugs or to focus attention elsewhere isn't to tell them not to do them because they are bad. Most people who use, know the downside they cause. Very often, they choose to ignore the facts our of ignorance or care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want someone to stop using, the best thing you can do is help them find what they are passionate about. If they get into something they are passionate about, they will require a higher mental state to accomplish their goals and likely reduce the use of drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would look into the famous &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park&quot;&gt;Rat Park&lt;/a&gt;&quot; experiment which does a great job of explaining why people become addicted to drugs in the first place. The TL:DR (too long; didn't read) is, if you put someone in isolation or environments that are boring, they will choose drugs over no drugs. On the other hand, if you can focus someone's attention on something else that they enjoy, the need for drugs becomes dramatically reduced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18867" LastActivityDate="2015-09-05T17:01:51.120" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21909" CreationDate="2015-09-05T18:51:02.857" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience children are usually either &quot;walkers&quot; or &quot;talkers&quot;. The ones that walk early have lower language skills and vice versa. There are also ones more in the middle of the spectrum, but they mostly seem to lean one way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter showed no interest in walking or even crawling or getting up on hands and knees until about 14 months. At that point she suddenly decided it was important and started crawling, and then walking within a few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about it. Focus on language if that's what interests them right now. Eventually, they will decide that movement is important and will work on it. There's no cause for worry at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14460" LastActivityDate="2015-09-05T18:51:02.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21933" CreationDate="2015-09-05T20:13:03.190" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't suggest that you tell either one that they need to stop talking completely. For one thing, it's possible that this is simply a friendship, not anything romantic. For another, teenagers tend to find things more appealing and interesting once they are forbidden. Since they are in the same school, they'll be seeing each other in person frequently -- a ban on communication becomes either somewhat awkward, or incredibly tempting (for one or both)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it is very reasonable to set down some rules about &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;how much&lt;/em&gt; they can chat. For example, you might allow him free time for an hour before bed, during which he may call or chat with her. Late-night chats are not appropriate, however, since that cuts into his sleep. Outline the schedule in advance and be clear that this can escalate if his grades do start to suffer (for example, less chat time is allowed, fewer outings, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also consider inviting her over to your house so they can study together, which gives them some &quot;together&quot; time but in a supervised, structured fashion that also emphasizes the importance of academics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do suggest that whatever structure you put in place should be &lt;em&gt;universal&lt;/em&gt;: if he is not allowed to text &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; friend after 8pm, he is also not allowed to text &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; friends. This will reassure them both that it's not their relationship that is motivating the rules, it's his grades and academic performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-09-05T20:13:03.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21940" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21942" CreationDate="2015-09-05T21:50:17.260" Score="2" ViewCount="463" Body="&lt;p&gt;My neighbor’s children (9, 10, 11 and 12 years old) frequently pop over to my house to play. They get permission from their parents and me. I love that we have young kids on our street, but they stay a long time, eat most of our snacks, and then I feel responsible for walking them (with my children in tow) a few doors home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I get this situation under control? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17817" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-09T21:19:27.813" LastActivityDate="2019-03-09T21:19:27.813" Title="How do I limit the time my neighbor's kids spend at my home?" Tags="|parents|pre-teen|middle-childhood|play-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21942" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21940" CreationDate="2015-09-05T22:36:13.320" Score="10" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hide the snacks and limit what's available. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask them why they like playing at yours. It could be that they aren't being fed properly at home, or a tough situation is going on at home etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ultimately it's your house.  You can timebox their visits.  It's easy as all you have to do is make clear what the times are and stick to them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can say no.  It isn't the end of the world for you to have some say as to what happens in your house. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-09-06T18:38:58.680" LastActivityDate="2015-09-06T18:38:58.680" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21943" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-05T22:53:45.060" Score="6" ViewCount="6908" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 18-month-old daughter. She loved having a bath from birth, and now all of a sudden she screams her head off when I mention bath or give her a bath. It's really stressing me out. I don't know what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18873" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-09T12:42:06.910" LastActivityDate="2019-04-09T12:42:06.910" Title="What to do about my toddler who suddenly started screaming when I mention bathing or give her a bath?" Tags="|toddler|tantrums|bathing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21946" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-06T01:16:09.570" Score="5" ViewCount="928" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 20mo nurses twice daily and lately it has become painful. She doesn't bite me, but her top 4 teeth are digging into my breast and it's leaving an impression of her teeth after she unlatches. Her latch is great - not too shallow or deep and her tongue hides her bottom teeth so they are not an issue. And until a couple weeks ago, we have had no issues*. I don't think it's anything she's doing intentionally so it's not really a behavior I can correct. I've unlatched and re-latched half a dozen times with no changes -still hurts. Any advice on what I can do? I think she might be moving close to self-weaning, by I'm not ready to wean until she is. So I want to do whatever possible to alleviate this pain without pushing her to wean before she's ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*She did have a hard time latching as a newborn and since I have semi-flat nipples, I did use a nipple shield for about 2mo. But since weaning off the nipple shield (and reestablishing my supply because the shield caused my supply to take quite a hit) we've had zero problems and she's been nursing like a champ.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9285" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T08:53:58.440" Title="Painful toddler breastfeeding" Tags="|toddler|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21909" CreationDate="2015-09-06T15:08:25.820" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I've read and from personal experience, I would say that you have nothing to worry about just because your son cannot walk at 13 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to these websites, it's normal for babies to start walking any time between 9 and 18 months:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/first-steps/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/first-steps/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-milestone-walking_6507.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-milestone-walking_6507.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son started taking a few steps in his 13th month but wasn't walking confidently, particularly outside, until 14 to 15 months but he happened to still be ahead of most babies of similar age that we know. It depends who you have around you - probably in another group of friends he could have seemed behind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my son's little friends wasn't walking until nearly 2 years old but as soon as she started she could walk very well within the space of a week whereas my son did it much more gradually. Another of his friends only started walking at 16 months and by 2 years was running and climbing all over the place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age I would be looking more for progress towards walking. Is he pulling up to standing using furniture? Can he walk a bit with help - starting with two hands and then just one? He may start to stand for short periods without holding anything. If you are concerned that he's not doing any of these things or making progress then it might be a good idea to mention to your doctor but even then I probably wouldn't worry too much for another month or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of those things where it seems very important while you're waiting for it to happen but once your child is walking, no-one else will even know or care when he first started. Nor does it seem that it affects how the child develops in the future. Even a few months later a 'late' walker can be doing just as much or more than an early walker. Children develop at their own pace. Starting to walk depends on a lot of factors, from physical strength to mental development, the child's personal interests and temperament:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/child-rearing-and-development/walking/baby-walking&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/child-rearing-and-development/walking/baby-walking&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-09-06T15:08:25.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21949" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21951" CreationDate="2015-09-06T20:10:06.063" Score="8" ViewCount="1201" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child has Asperger's syndrome. She is high-grade enough that she has been going through school and she speaks and sort of makes eye-contact, but it is clear to her and everyone that she is 'different', and she needs help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has been asking for some time &quot;what is wrong with me?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is 13. Teenage socialisation and sexualisation are next...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I tell her what it means to have AS?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3849" LastEditorUserId="3849" LastEditDate="2018-04-10T17:16:08.217" LastActivityDate="2021-02-06T03:49:11.307" Title="What do I tell my child about her Asperger autism?" Tags="|autism|special-needs|asperger|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21940" CreationDate="2015-09-06T22:20:21.490" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to the neighbors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to be confrontational, just mention to the parents that their kids seem to be snacking a lot at your house, and you want to be sure they're not eating something they shouldn't be, or spoiling their appetite for dinner. Also find out if your kids are spending time at their house as well. It's possible your children are also eating their snacks as well, so it could turn into an equitable arrangement.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally you should make it a point to be on friendly terms with the parents of your kids' friends, for this and many other reasons. Remember not to be judgmental of other parents for the ways that their parenting may differ from yours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9039" LastActivityDate="2015-09-06T22:20:21.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21949" CreationDate="2015-09-07T03:06:14.660" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;She can discern that she's different from other kids her age. She's expressing this in a way that's heartbreaking for me to even read, let alone to deal with as a parent. As hard as it is, the time has come to validate her suspicions. If she didn't need some sort of validation, she wouldn't be asking you. At the risk of sounding chiché-ish, it's time for her to live with Autism Spectrum Disorder as part of who she is and not as something to be afraid of. Be aware, though, that this is a difficult time &lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20130107042358/http://autismdigest.com/10-guidelines-about-asd/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;for kids to hear that they are different&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are famous and successful people with ASD, for example, look at the immense relief of animal suffering thanks to &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Temple Grandin&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Boyle&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Susan Boyle&lt;/a&gt; has blessed the world with her beautiful voice. (If you've never seen her &lt;em&gt;Britain's Got Talent&lt;/em&gt; debut, you really should; it's a bit painful but it's a huge -and tear-inducing - wake-up call.) There is so much awareness of and support for ASD that the diagnosis no longer carries the stigma it once did, and help dealing with issues such as this one is not difficult to find.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're not familiar with &lt;a href=&quot;http://autisticadvocacy.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Autisticadvocacy.org&lt;/a&gt;, please visit the site. There is a wealth of information for families, including for adolescents. I don't know what kind of therapy she's been receiving, but there is a ton of evidence that treatment helps with social skills, etc. The journal &lt;em&gt;Autism&lt;/em&gt; may be available by request at your library. It's a great source of information, including dealing with issues such as this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[T]he possibility of problems occurring is more likely when someone is not told about their disability,sup&amp;gt;* and given the support they need... Not understanding others or social situations for many leads to poor interactions with others and results in ridicule and isolation... &lt;em&gt;You can look for the presence of certain signs that the child is ready for information.&lt;/em&gt; Some children will actually ask, “What is wrong with me?,” “Why can’t I be like everybody else?,” “Why can’t I _____?,” or even “What is wrong with everyone?” These types of questions are certainly a clear indication that they need some information about their diagnosis. - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.iidc.indiana.edu/pages/Getting-Started-Introducing-Your-Child-to-His-or-Her-Diagnosis-of-Autism-or-Asperger-Syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Getting Started: Introducing Your Child to His or Her Diagnosis of Autism or Asperger Syndrome&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend you read the source above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may want to break the information up into parts, and tell your child that this is going to be ongoing dialogue. (If your child had a newly diagnosed cardiac problem, wouldn't this also be true?) What is your daughter's preferred learning style? If she likes books, many are available for you and that you might read a book together, such as (among others) &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2542912/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Freaks, Geeks &amp;amp; Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence&lt;/a&gt; written by a 13 year old male with Asperger’s, who was able to address problems kids with this diagnosis commonly face. If she likes movies and videos, there's no shortage of these either. The talk needs to come first, though, before the exploration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt;Not my words.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;These aren't my usual scholarly-type recommendations, but they address your question.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://eden2.org/top-10-autism-websites-recommended-by-parents/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Top 10 Autism Websites Recommended by Parents&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pathfindersforautism.org/articles/view/parent_tips_you_have_autism&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parent Tips: &amp;quot;You Have Autism.&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2014/05/27/your-child-has-autism-how-and-when-do-you-tell-him/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Your child has autism. How (and when) do you tell him?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20130107042358/http://autismdigest.com/10-guidelines-about-asd/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;10 Guidelines for Telling Your Child about ASD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2021-01-23T18:38:54.027" LastActivityDate="2021-01-23T18:38:54.027" CommentCount="21" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21952" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21955" CreationDate="2015-09-07T08:40:37.043" Score="5" ViewCount="1918" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1.5 year old daughter is constantly carrying around her toys, and often a toy is in her hand when she comes to the table. We have already decided that no electronics will be allowed at the table, but should I allow her to bring a toy to the table?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pro:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she gets bored with eating, sometimes playing with a toy for a few minutes can be a nice break, and she'll end up staying at the table longer and eating more.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No tears resulting from having her toy taken away&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Con:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It can become too distracting from the task at hand i.e. eating&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The toy gets messy (e.g. a penguin went for a swim in her soup yesterday)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find myself sometimes (depending on the toy and the food at the table) taking away her toy mid-meal, which is distressing and inconsistent. I'd like to set a standard and stick with it - even if it means her toys get sticky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T11:13:08.767" Title="Should I allow toys at the table at mealtimes?" Tags="|toys|rules|mealtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21946" CreationDate="2015-09-07T08:53:58.440" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have had a similar issue with my 18-month-old who is still nursing occasionally.  She has found out that gnawing (not biting, but changing the position of her top teeth) gives more milk as my supply has declined, or it's simply a lazier approach to a latch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't think it's anything she's doing intentionally so it's not really a behavior I can correct. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that even if it isn't intentional (in the sense of trying to bite to get a reaction), it is still a behavior that you can correct - she has changed her latch for some reason and you can help her change it back.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try a new position, sitting up with baby facing you, straddling your lap&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise a good latch; stay still, use eye contact, and she will get a milk reward.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disconnect a bad latch using pinky finger in the side of her mouth, and wait a few minutes before latching again.  Also say something like &quot;Ouch that hurts.  I don't like it. If you want to nurse then you need to be gentle.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T08:53:58.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21954" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-07T10:44:45.163" Score="3" ViewCount="241" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-year-old son is in year 1 and he was doing really good in studies until last month. But, he is a bit lazy and does not usually take care of his belongings and is never ready to take any initiative to participate in any kind of activity. He is usually the last one to follow the command or instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consequently, children have been trying to teach him and being bossy to him with the intention to correct him. As he has been bullied by other children for his slow behaviour, he likes to be isolated and is not interested in making friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, his frustration has turned into very aggressive behaviour and he kicks and hits most of those who used to bully him in the past without any response from them in the present, and if an adult tries to stop him, he gets aggressive with them as well. The other day, he tried to bite his teacher's hand when she was trying to save another child from being hit by my son. He does funny things in front of the whole class to seek attention and keep smiling for no reason. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are very concerned about his socialisation and poor concentration skills. His growth is normal and appetite is good apart from when he remained sick for the last couple of months due to tonsillitis. He is good in toileting. And recently he learnt cycling in 3 weeks without training wheels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does a lot of self talking and usually use terms he learnt from cartoons. He has started hitting us at home too now when we stop him from watching TV or playing games on iPad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18879" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-18T14:11:12.557" LastActivityDate="2018-11-18T14:11:12.557" Title="How to help my 6-year-old who does a lot of self talking, becomes aggressive at school and lacks concentration in studies?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|socialization|focus|aggression|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21952" CreationDate="2015-09-07T11:13:08.767" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've found that having toys is much more of a net negative — particularly the distraction aspect. This is especially the case once the kids get a little older, and the toy of choice is more complex (e.g. Legos being assembled at the table) or expensive (e.g. a flashlight, a talking robot thing). Who wants to eat boring spaghetti when they could be literally constructing an imaginary world with plastic blocks?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there are also times when it is nice to have the child a little distracted/occupied, such as when we're at a restaurant. I often encourage them to bring along something to play with while we're waiting for food to come out.... but again, we're left with what to do once the food &lt;em&gt;arrives&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best compromise we have is putting the toy in the middle of the table. This works fairly well for a couple reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It can be seen, so some of that imaginative engagement is still happening on an intellectual level even though their hands are occupied with food. &quot;&lt;em&gt;We're going to put penguin right here and he'll watch while you eat.&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Depending on the toy/age, it might also be useful for encouraging tastes of new foods: &quot;&lt;em&gt;Ooooh, fish, penguin likes to eat that! Want a taste?&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The table is &quot;holding&quot; it, not me, so there isn't as much anger (it doesn't feel like &quot;mommy stole my toy&quot; in the same way).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It does need to be out of reach (or it's quickly picked back up), and being consistent and calm is important. Reassure her that this is just a mealtime thing, and as soon as she's finished eating she can have the toy and leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T11:13:08.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21956" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-07T13:53:59.577" Score="9" ViewCount="615" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2yo daughter was playing on a playground, rotating on a kind of one-person carousel. A 2.5, maybe 3yo boy approached her, obviously (to me) wanting to sit on it and use it. The boy immediately started hitting my girl on the head with open hand. Before his parent approached and stopped him, he managed to score a few hits. I didn't intervene, since there was no real danger of her being hurt and I usually try to let her resolve her own playground &quot;trouble&quot;. They used to be toy-grabbing problems until then, however. Afterwards, she looked at me, puzzled, showing me how the boy had hit her (gently hitting herself on the head). She's one of the non-violent, passive kids. She won't hit anyone, she doesn't bite or hit when she's angry. She will sometimes try to grab other kids toys when they are using it, but most of the time she sticks to those left free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A day after that I started thinking and reconsidering that situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I have intervened? Stopped the boy hitting her? Shown her that such &quot;violence&quot; should be met with appropriate reaction? Or was I right to have let her handle the situation on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What impact did my lack of action have on my daughter? Will she feel &quot;unsafe&quot; with me because of that? Will it encourage any reaction from her in case such thing happens again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What would you have done?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T16:56:12.883" Title="Handling toddler aggression towards my child" Tags="|toddler|violence|aggression|playground|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21957" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-07T14:01:46.473" Score="1" ViewCount="57" Body="&lt;p&gt;my baby is 2 month old. I want know when I should start &quot;bedtime routine&quot; ?&#xA;and also when make him sleep in his room ?&#xA;now he sleep next to me, is it correct to take him sleep on his bed or should I wait?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18881" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T14:01:46.473" Title="How early should I start learning my baby bedtime routine?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-09-11T08:35:28.550" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21958" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-07T14:56:40.827" Score="8" ViewCount="1049" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is nearly 2 years old and a bit hyper. Sometimes he is openly defiant and when we correct him he sometimes hits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been reading that with timeout you want it to be 1 minute for each year of the child and that they have to sit still and be calm before you start the countdown.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is impossible for my child. He just won't sit still and will escape the dark quiet room. If you lock him in or restrain him to your lap then he violently explodes in a vicious 10 level tantrum every time. I try to wait him out and after over a half hour of screaming he becomes hoarse and gets so upset that he starts to vomit. That or in his thrashing he bangs his head on something really hard and becomes a danger to himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't put him through that anymore. Is timeout not effective for every child? If so then what am I doing wrong? If not then what is another effective way to correct bad behavior like hitting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note, I am not going to spank my child. I will only swat his hand if he is doing something dangerous and I want him to associate pain and danger with something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4190" LastActivityDate="2015-09-09T20:02:16.940" Title="Toddler, almost 2 years timeout not working" Tags="|toddler|time-out|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21956" CreationDate="2015-09-07T15:45:35.883" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would play the situation through with her, so she can start thinking about how she might process this kind of thing. Say what you would have done or thought. &quot;Hey stop hitting me! What's wrong with you? You want a piece of me?!&quot; Or have your spouse hit you out of nowhere and then model what you would want her to do. Be silly, with a hint of serious. Attack them with tickles or kisses, and trash talk them (age appropriate trash talk!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing wrong with laughing about it, as long as she starts to get some real ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal should be to stay her non-violent self without becoming a pushover. Fantasizing about being an all-powerful being is probably a good thing. Eventually she'll choose how much of that she wants to make reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My favorite parenting book related to this is &lt;a href=&quot;http://playfulparenting.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Playful Parenting&lt;/a&gt; by Lawrence Cohen. Amazing book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6651" LastEditorUserId="6651" LastEditDate="2015-09-07T16:18:26.737" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T16:18:26.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21956" CreationDate="2015-09-07T16:56:12.883" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Should I have intervened?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You did intervene, in a way. You were present, and you assessed the situation and determined your daughter wasn't in immediate danger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need to be able to rely on their parents to step in to protect them when necessary to avoid harm, but it's a personal parenting decision to shield them from all possible negative interactions. Some parents will say they would never let another child lay a hand on their own if they could help it, and some will handle it just as you did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stopped the boy hitting her?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could have, provided it was done merely by placing yourself between them and/or carrying your daughter away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's not much you could have done with the other child, since you should never physically touch another person's child without express consent or reasonably implicit consent (such as when you're supervising them), unless it's to keep &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; from immediate harm, in which case you're morally obligated to act.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My primary reasoning for not touching another person's child is legal liability. Parents can be quite protective of their children, and somebody else &quot;handling&quot; them can quickly escalate a situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the socially acceptable response to physical altercations between children is usually to physically remove your own child, or tell them to leave the situation on their own, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shown her that such &quot;violence&quot; should be met with appropriate reaction? Or was I right to have let her handle the situation on her own.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this question is better answered on its own. There are some relevant existing questions on this topic already:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18803/how-to-get-4-year-old-to-stick-up-for-himself-but-not-turn-into-a-bully&quot;&gt;How to get 4 year old to stick up for himself but not turn into a bully?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/761/how-do-you-teach-young-kids-to-defend-themselves?rq=1&quot;&gt;How do you teach toddlers to defend themselves?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/12429/teaching-children-how-to-fight-back&quot;&gt;Teaching children how to fight back&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What impact did my lack of action have on my daughter? Will she feel &quot;unsafe&quot; with me because of that? Will it encourage any reaction from her in case such thing happens again?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children generally trust their parents to attend to their safety and well-being. You choosing to not take action was essentially a signal to your daughter that she wasn't in any real danger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure she was confused by the incident, as you expressed, but that's to be expected. It's really confusing to just be thwacked in the head by a stranger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By not making a big deal out of it, or drawing attention to it, you also communicated to your daughter that stuff like that happens sometimes and life just goes on. If you don't make it a big part of her day, then she likely won't either. Events like that are transient and not harmful overall. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for communicating that what the other boy did was not okay, the other parent handled that. They removed the boy from the situation, which was a clear signal that what he was doing was not acceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt she'll feel unsafe because of that isolated incident. As you said, she wasn't really harmed. If this was a repeated pattern of behavior towards your daughter, then I'd assume she'd develop a behavioral response. As it stands, I wouldn't expect her to do anything more than possibly avoid that other boy if they run into each other again (but young children can often quickly overcome such conflict as if it never happened).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What would you have done?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably what you did. If the other parent hadn't stepped in then I would have probably said, &quot;Don't hit,&quot; while walking towards my little one to remove them if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the other parent's demeanor, I might have even offered an understanding smile or comment to let them know that we didn't hold any grudges, but that those things happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the other child's demeanor, I may have found a way for the two kids to play something else, together. At that young age, children don't always intuitively know how to interact with one another appropriately, so we as parents can help facilitate their ability to make new friends, even if it's just a playground friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-09-07T16:56:12.883" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21963" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-07T17:00:59.337" Score="3" ViewCount="928" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child recently turned 4 late this summer. We've noticed he has been more aggressive lately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Background:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;I've pretend wrestled, boxed, and sword fought with my child before his third birthday. I started to see signs of him testing his limits outside of our pretend plays; one thing he would do is rush at me for a take down without warning or punch or kick my wife out of nowhere. I told him he can only display these behaviors when we're rough-housing. If someone bites, pinches, hair-pulls, punches, or kicks him after he warns them, and if an adult is present, to let them know; if that child hits him again, he can defend himself. So far, there have been no known cases of him harming another child at the daycare on campus at the University. They are very strict about children being physical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, he is different. He continues to his aggression. My wife and I have come to the conclusion that it might be because he has too much energy. In his first three years, we did outdoor activities everyday since we were able to have enough savings to care for him for those years. Afterward, we are now back full-time working or studying. Monday to Friday, he stays at daycare from 8 AM to 5 PM. From 5 PM to 9:30 PM, we dedicate quality time with him since work or homework stays at the workplace or school; we finish before we pick him up at the daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he rushes, jabs, or kicks us, I tell him to stop in a calm demeanor that carries disappointment and he &lt;strong&gt;knows&lt;/strong&gt; what he did is inappropriate. Wife raises her voice at him which I remind her sometimes that that's not necessary because he laughs when she reprimands him. We tell him that it's disrespectful and he needs to stop doing it. We follow that with different ways he can vent his energy. He tells us he's sorry for his action and lets us know next time, he will stop, breath, walk away, and then he will feel better. Later that day or the next, he does it again. Either we are not getting through to him or he is at an age where he wants to see how far he can push our limit. We stay consistent each time for the last few months that this have gotten to be a daily thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that has worked is when we take him outdoors like how we used to, he gets all his energy out of his system. He wakes up for a nap, we take him out again because he is &lt;strong&gt;full&lt;/strong&gt; of energy and loves the outdoors. We work/study full-time so it's a challenge to do outdoors on weekdays. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes we feel we need to get a TV, cable television, and allow him to watch movies. Other times we feel he should  be able to play his tablet more than two hours per week on the weekends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is him testing how far he can take his actions a sign of his developmental stage or are we not doing enough? We are not doing something right, what can we do to help him &lt;strong&gt;control&lt;/strong&gt; his actions? Are we going at it the wrong way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7636" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-14T12:34:30.663" LastActivityDate="2019-06-14T12:34:30.663" Title="Why is my 4-year-old child more aggressive now?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|violence|working-parents|aggression|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21966" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-07T19:16:21.400" Score="1" ViewCount="383" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 21 month old daughter. She started talking when she was about a year old; right now she's extremely talkative and energetic around us. My wife has been a stay at home mom since our daughter was born and I also spend plenty of time at home interacting with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We noticed that in any environments where there are other people, she becomes very reserved. At first we thought she was just a little bit shy and she'd get past this once she becomes familiar with other kids and grown-ups (we're not very social either although, once she was born, we tried to change this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She now knows all of the other kids on our street, she talks about how she'll play with them and always asks us to go outside and play with them. Every once in a while she actually does play with them and she even becomes talkative. But, most of the time, she doesn't do anything, she only wants to sit in our arms, staying quiet the whole time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal behavior? Is there any way of getting her to open up and start interacting more with others?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18884" LastActivityDate="2015-09-10T11:03:43.003" Title="Toddler extremely reserved around others" Tags="|anxiety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21967" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21986" CreationDate="2015-09-07T21:01:41.417" Score="2" ViewCount="1209" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a child of two years and still drooling, at first I did not care much but I fear that this will become a habit or interfere with their ability to speak. I already visited the pediatrician and ruled out any problem with adenoids. Have you any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18886" LastActivityDate="2017-10-02T20:17:06.990" Title="2 year old still drooling, what can i do?" Tags="|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21968" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-07T21:30:15.903" Score="4" ViewCount="648" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am personally very strict with my daughter (2.5 years old). After she comes home from kindergarten, she sleeps and after she wakes up, my wife lets her watch TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anytime I am home, I don't allow watching too much TV, because I know it is bad. I would rather have my daughter want to go out with me: visiting her grandparents, her aunt, friends, or just going to the playground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But since she has developed the habit of watching TV, she doesn't have the zest to do any activities beside it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I constantly try to persuade my wife that watching TV is actually bad for our daughter. But she insists that even toddlers need downtime after kindergarten. Which is TV. But I am afraid that whenever I am not home, she is watching too much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently every time I am home, my daughter doesn't like me anymore because she knows I take away the TV or iPad when I believe that she has watched enough. That makes me the bad one. And I wonder if I just should let my toddler watch whatever she wants, or keep trying to persuade my wife to restrict her screen time. Unfortunately, I believe my wife will expand screen time behind my back, because she does not believe that toddlers that age should be restricted in anything that makes them happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice for future actions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18887" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-07T16:06:16.607" LastActivityDate="2020-08-07T16:06:16.607" Title="How can we find a compromise about screen time for our daughter?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|parents|development|screen-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21968" CreationDate="2015-09-08T00:16:22.123" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a relevant bit from another post I made on the subject of babies and TV:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always find the topic of children vs TV as an odd dichotomy. It's&#xA;like everyone watches tv but nobody wants their kids to watch tv. I'm&#xA;not saying anyone posting in this thread is a hypocrite, not by any&#xA;stretch, I'm making an aged observation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[ . . . ]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow me to dispense a&#xA;dose of realism: All things in moderation. An apple a day won't kill&#xA;you, 20 apples a day might. A beer a day won't kill you, a case of&#xA;beer a day might.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TV = Bad? That's like saying &amp;quot;Cars are bad because of traffic fatalities and carbon monoxide emissions&amp;quot;. It is a statement that ignores all the positive aspects of cars, or TV, when used responsibly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An hour or so of wind-down TV in the evening is realistic, especially if it's choice content... I don't know what's on these days, but Blues Clues and Dora type stuff for an hour for a less-than 3yr old would be great while dinner is getting fixed or you catch up on emails or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if it's Cartoon Network... simply put, get that shit out of her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as dealing with your wifes preference, you both need to come to the table, find each other motivations, and find a happy place in the middle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, to me it sounds like this won't be productive and you should probably sit with a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1649" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T00:16:22.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21970" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21973" CreationDate="2015-09-08T02:13:32.530" Score="2" ViewCount="358" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a teenage child who is generally a good student and we have a usually good relationship. I only worry that he isn't being prepaired for the world very well and that he's only being prepaired for college or other studies. Does anyone have any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18893" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T10:47:38.237" Title="Will my child be ready for the world?" Tags="|development|teen|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21943" CreationDate="2015-09-08T06:06:58.717" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Did not mention if you were giving her the baths in a normal tub but that is what I assume.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can offer 3 alternatives but I would guess the last one wont work at this time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take a shower with her. It's harder to wash their hair (water can't be kept out of their face) but that can be done separately.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be with her in the bath, get in first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We used a big (around 60L) transparent container bin. The size of a bathtub was too much (space or water, not sure).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didnt need to do it for long either, once they were confortable in the bin and got used to playing in the water they were ready for the normal one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18894" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T06:06:58.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21970" CreationDate="2015-09-08T06:09:55.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Oh my, your daughter is so self-reliant and independent. How do you do it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I let her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yFFnq.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;samodzielnosc&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the whole story. Don't hold her hand all the time. Don't tell her what to do. Don't say &quot;don't&quot;, &quot;no&quot; every time she wants to do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few other ideas: send her on vacation without you, but with a friend of hers. Stop doing her laundry. Give her large allowance but stop buying her clothes, shoes, paying phone bills - make her do it on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, start preparing her for adult life by, in a way, simulating it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-08T10:47:38.237" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T10:47:38.237" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21970" CreationDate="2015-09-08T09:20:47.033" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course you could go the &quot;drop all assistance&quot; route that has been suggested here, but I personally wouldn't. Especially as you don't mention you child's age I suggest a more gradual approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are correct in assuming that a child / teenager needs to be thought about &quot;how everyday life works&quot;. But this is not the responsibility of schools, but of you as a parent. You can rely on the same method that  worked back when he was a toddler:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Let him participate in what you are doing.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You as an adult know how to plan your day and week, how to butget and how to make decisions. So in order to teach your child, show him, how you do this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Involve him in decisions. Whether it's your next holiday trip or a remodel of the living room, &lt;em&gt;ask for his opinion&lt;/em&gt;. This does not mean that he gets to decide, but that he's part of the process. And who knows, perhaps he'll come up with a really good suggestion. Then include him in the follow-up, e.g. buying paint - and learn that you also need brushes, tape, rags... If he helps to paint, even better.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you have never talked money, start doing so: Where does your salary go (and why), how you budget, what are the relevant factors in your decisions. Take him with you when you go to the bank, show him how you write and cash checks.... You could even let him assist in filing your taxes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The same principle applies to scheduling and time management - a very valuable asset and something that will come handy in school and college, too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't know how to run a household, ask him to do chores first &lt;em&gt;whith you&lt;/em&gt;, later &lt;em&gt;alone&lt;/em&gt;. Be aware that in the beginning, there are going to be a few mistakes and please do not start the epic fight about &quot;the one and only right way to load the dishwasher&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key factor is &lt;em&gt;show, don't tell&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;A lecture about how or why something needs to be done is bound to earn you a &quot;Mooooom!&quot; with the usual sigh and rolled eyes all teenagers  manage by instinct. But being actively involved, being treated as &quot;almost equal&quot; holds an appeal that few teens can resist. Of course you should explain how you reach a decision or why you choose one option over another, but &lt;em&gt;accompanying&lt;/em&gt; not &lt;em&gt;substituting&lt;/em&gt; an action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, the main reason why I'm suggesting this approach is that as the child grows, your relationship needs to evolve, too. A child can't become independent if you as a parent don't manage to gradually lengthen the leash. You need to adjust the way how you percieve and interact with your child and accept that while he will always be &quot;your baby&quot;, he also needs to grow up. If you keep communication channels open, there is a good chance that he will turn to you at a later time for advice and suggestions while you, on the other hand, know that you gave him the tools to face life. This makes it easier for you and him to transfer certain responsibilities - a clothing allowance instead of going shopping with or (beware!) for him including the laundry, cleaning his room, cooking meals for the family...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you are confident that you have established a reasonable degree of independence, volunteering, working, traveling and staying abroad are the classic steps of learning more about our world than school teaches you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I choose the male form because the original question deals with a son. I firmly believe that there is no difference whatsoever between sons and daughters as far as the answer above is concerned.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-09-08T09:27:00.870" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T09:27:00.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21968" CreationDate="2015-09-08T11:32:05.323" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I won't address the you-vs-your-wife TV time problem. I think it's out of scope here on parenting. I'll try to focus on the &quot;less tv&quot; aspect of your question.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should focus her attention on other activities than TV. Watching TV is easy, both for a parent and the kid, I know. But &quot;harder&quot; activities may be more rewarding and most likely are more beneficial for your child and the relationship you have with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you are home, you can try to &quot;trick&quot; your daughter into doing other things than watching TV. It's very simple, really. It works perfectly with my 2yo daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start doing something she can help you with near her. Or do it in another room, but make sure she will hear you doing it and come to you out of curiosity. Or just shout at her and *come and see something&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should you do? Everything works on my daughter (literally &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; I or my wife do is interesting), but you may have to make a few attempts on your own. A few things my daughter enjoys:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Throw a small plastic toy to a container and stream water on it. Once there's some water in and the stream is appropriately strong, the toy will begin to roll and jump. My daughter laughs uncontrollably at it, don't know why.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start &quot;repairing&quot; something. Your daughter's bike will work well. Take a screwriver and start tightening screws. She is bound to join you and &quot;help&quot;. Let her (but suprvise!).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Homemade electromagnets and lifting various things with them can be fun. &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Vzn7l.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;homemade electromagnet&quot;&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teaparty with dolls and toy animals. My daughter can spend half an hour feeding her duplo animals. And then another 15 minutes putting her teddys to sleep under a blanket&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Building stuff out of duplo works too. Make sure to engage her in the building process. Build a house and put animals in it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A train set. No more words needed. &lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/RlU4E.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;a train set&quot;&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-09-08T12:13:17.947" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T12:13:17.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21976" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21977" CreationDate="2015-09-08T15:52:33.460" Score="3" ViewCount="757" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever we ask our 3-year-old an open-ended what or why question, he will usually just ask &quot;Why?&quot; or &quot;What?&quot; back. Examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(He wakes crying at night. We go in.) Why are you crying? &quot;Why...?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(He seems like he doesn't feel well.) Do you not feel well? &quot;Yeah&quot; What doesn't feel well? &quot;What...?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you expand on those, e.g. &quot;Does your tummy hurt?&quot; he will just answer Yes, regardless of whether it actually hurts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's very well-developed in terms of speech, so it's not that he doesn't know the words. Are these questions just too open-ended for him to be able to comprehend what the actual &quot;answer&quot; is? Any way to help him develop this skill, so he can tell us what's actually wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18898" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T19:24:34.817" Title="Getting real answers from a 3 year old" Tags="|toddler|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21977" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21976" CreationDate="2015-09-08T19:24:34.817" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;To some extent: yes, the questions may well be too open-ended.  Not even exactly too open ended, just asking for information that he doesn't necessarily &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt;. Better is to ask for more specific categories, and better still is to not worry about any of it: get him to a calm place, then let him tell you on his own what's wrong, if there's anything actionable, anyway.  Most of the time, particularly with nighttime upsets, simply having Mommy or Daddy snuggle him will solve any problem he's having.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some additional detail:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;It's hard to answer &amp;quot;why&amp;quot; questions when upset&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Why are you crying,&amp;quot; for example, asks him to figure out why he's upset - which often is not possible, because &lt;em&gt;he's upset&lt;/em&gt;.  How often do we wonder why a child gets so upset for something small?  It's not necessarily because that something small really &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; big to him/her - it's because it just made him/her unable to handle something changing, or similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's upset, it's going to be hard for him to figure out exactly why; sometimes, closed-ended questions can help, if you have some idea.  I usually at least start with the following after night-time wakeups, in some order:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did you hurt yourself?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did you have a bad dream?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did you feel lonely?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of those three usually elicits a yes.  Honestly, though, other than the first, you probably won't find anything useful a lot of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Children often find a consistent answer and stick with it&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a nearly verbatim transcript of many night-time wake-ups with my three year old (a year ago):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you have a bad dream?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What scared you in the dream?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Airplanes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What happened?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Airplanes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He didn't really know why it was scary... just that airplanes scared him.  Apparently.  Even though they're one of his favorite toys.  What happened, though, was it became his default response any time he had a bad dream - which meant &amp;quot;airplane&amp;quot; became code for &amp;quot;what causes bad dreams&amp;quot;.  I suspect most of his bad dreams weren't about airplanes - just the first one we talked about was, and that led to all others becoming so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, it's not always possible to figure out what's wrong when a child's upset.  Even at four, sometimes it's just not possible to get to that point.  At three, it's very common in my experience.  Unless the 'what's wrong' is very concrete - &amp;quot;my toe is smushed in the door, thanks daddy for not paying attention&amp;quot; - it's going to be hard to explain exactly what's wrong, particularly after a nighttime wake-up and particularly when hysterical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Give him the vocabulary&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way we've found to help our guys get to the point where they can tell us, &lt;em&gt;sometimes&lt;/em&gt;, what's wrong is to make sure they have the vocabulary - and I don't mean the word-vocabulary, but the emotional vocabulary.  This is done both by helping talk through problems after they've happened - shortly after, but enough after that he's not hysterical any more - and by modelling the behavior with our own upsets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mean, every husband has said something wrong to his wife once, right?  In front of the kids?  It's going to happen (and the reverse, of course).  Seeing how Mommy reacts, and tells Daddy that he said something she didn't appreciate, is part of learning for kids.  Also, same when Mommy gets sick - how does she talk about it?  How does Daddy talk when he stubs his toe or steps on a block.  All of that is modelling behavior for your child, and helps him figure out how to say what he needs to get your help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he does have a problem, even if you can't figure it out in time to fix it - talk to him about it, and make sure he knows how to describe it.  If he's in pain, I like to poke around and see exactly where the pain is - that helps him be more precise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, talk about emotions constantly.  I ask my children all the time if they're happy, and if they're happy with me specifically.  When they're not, we talk about why.  I've gotten things from &amp;quot;I don't like it when you make me follow rules&amp;quot; to &amp;quot;I like Mommy today&amp;quot;, as if loving parents is a zero-sum game.  Sometimes it's just life - but sometimes you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; change things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T19:24:34.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21963" CreationDate="2015-09-08T19:44:42.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's a little young yet, but when he turns 5 you might seriously consider enrolling him in a martial arts class.  In addition to the benefit of giving him a physical outlet, it will help teach him when it is appropriate (and when not appropriate) to hit or kick.  My son learned some very good habits at tai kwan do...they stressed self discipline, self restraint and respect for others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might take him to observe a class or two and see if he is interested.  My son &lt;em&gt;totally&lt;/em&gt; wanted to learn how to hit people with swords (sigh, he has not yet grown out of that desire) but now he is quite aware of the difference between &quot;want to&quot; and &quot;should&quot; and he understands that it is only ok to fight when both people want to.  If only one wants to, we call it &quot;bullying&quot;, which is a term he understands quite well (many kudos to the school system for working to raise awareness of this problem).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how to deal with the current situation, you might try to add a bit more preparation and discipline to the rough-housing time.  In the martial arts that I've participated in, you must bow to each other or observe some other ritual which signals the intent to begin.  It will be harder now that you have already established a tradition of &quot;ambush&quot; tactics but it may not be too late.  If you show enough enthusiasm for it, maybe even with some kind of formal &quot;garb&quot; you could make the ritual and subsequent play far more fun than just kicking and hitting (children often enjoy ritual)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T19:44:42.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21943" CreationDate="2015-09-08T20:06:53.440" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had something like this for a while but when our son was a bit younger. He also had a similar kind of phobia with sand closer to your daughter's age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped for us was to find some new ways to make it fun so he was too interested to worry about being afraid. Could you try getting some new bath toys to get her excited? Or let her take one of her favourite non bath toys with her - plastic is obviously easier to dry off after and not get ruined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the sand phobia, it helped when our son discovered he could do stuff with it - move it around, make shapes, put it in containers etc. He also enjoys this kind of play with water - pouring from one container to another, pouring over a toy. You could try this from outside the bath to get her interest. It will help her to have positive feelings associated with the bath and bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing which helped but may seem odd was taking him swimming. Our local pool has a nice warm kids pool and I think being able to go in together and see other kids enjoying helped him to enjoy the water again. They also had some toys in the pool which helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, once you do manage to tempt her back to the bath, be very careful for a while about doing anything that might upset her, like splashing water on her head or getting it in her eyes. You don't have to do this forever, just until she feels more comfortable and gets her confidence back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T20:06:53.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21980" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="21985" CreationDate="2015-09-08T23:30:58.317" Score="6" ViewCount="449" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are some suggestions on making reading fun for a 10 year old girl, that dislikes reading?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I tell her to read a book, she thinks it's a punishment that I'm making her read. I try to explain to her that reading is fundamental and also builds your vocabulary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Added Info From My Comments Below&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She sees me reading everyday, not a day goes by without a book in my hand. Her peers enjoys reading. I also read aloud to her. The books she has available here at home are, 'Monster High' (Dolls and cartoon character) books. But are these types of books good to read?! She is currently in the fifth grade, but she is on a third grade reading level. I'm assuming this is what strays her away from reading. She definitely is struggling, but this is why I'm searching for answers because I don't know what else to do to get her to read so it can build her reading level up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17817" LastEditorUserId="17817" LastEditDate="2015-09-09T17:33:08.987" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T15:34:37.523" Title="Suggestions on making reading fun for a 10 year old girl" Tags="|education|reading|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21921" CreationDate="2015-09-08T23:56:04.180" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child is an adult, and as somebody else said, it's almost certainly too late to significantly change their view of drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend side-stepping the issue, and just declaring that your continued support of his college expenses is dependent on his hitting academic milestones (i.e., challenging classes, good grades, progress toward a diploma). Perhaps a minimum grade level to get any support at all (tuition only, paid directly to the school), and an even higher grade level to receive full support including spending money and any luxuries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By taking the drug issue off the table, you remove his ability to use this study or that study saying that drugs aren't bad, and focusing on something you can measure directly and for which there is no wiggle room. Ultimately, all that you care about is that he is academically successful. If he can get great grades with the occasional use of recreational drugs, so be it. And if he slacks his way to failure, it doesn't really matter if it was drugs, or girls, or video games, or just not working hard enough, right? So directly reward for the outcome you care about, not the specific road taken.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With this strategy, he may simply realize on his own that the drugs (and a variety of other modes of goofing off) stand in his way of success. Lecturing to him about drugs is much less likely to have the desired effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2015-09-08T23:56:04.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21984" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-09T03:06:04.187" Score="2" ViewCount="5596" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not talking about when they speak their first words, or even their first sentences, but the age where they can carry on a decent conversation with (say) kids of the same age. What age does this happen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18902" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T08:02:15.770" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T16:17:49.180" Title="What age do kids really &quot;master&quot; the conversational basics?" Tags="|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21980" CreationDate="2015-09-09T09:32:55.163" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I try to explain to her that reading is fundamental and also builds your vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is about the last argument to get a ten year old to read. You know, that green juce that tastes like grass clippings? &lt;em&gt;But it's soooo good for you!&lt;/em&gt; So please don't ever say this again to her...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A book should be a gateway to another world, something that holds you captive and is something enjoyable. What exactly fascinates your child is secondary - if she's currently into Monster High, for heaven's sake let her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course there are a few feet of &quot;approved&quot; or &quot;good&quot; children's literature in every store or library, but your primary goal ist to get her reading, right? Some children are into fiction or fantasy, others prefer scientific books about subjects they are interested in. So offer a wide range of choices - access to a library is a good start without breaking the budget and so are second-hand bookstores - but let her choose. For ideas and suggestions, either ask your local (childrens) book store, your librarian or visit one of the websites offering information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your budget allows, there are a few scientific magazines geared towards children. With short articles and a wide variety of topics including fun trivia they are often less daunting than an entire &quot;big&quot; book.  (A subscription also makes a great birthday gift, btw., especially from relatives that are further away, the monthly edition saying &quot;I love you&quot; regularly.) And they come as digital editions, too, should an iPad or similar be more tempting than paper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she have friends she could swap books with? If your BFF just read a book you simply &lt;em&gt;have to&lt;/em&gt; read it too, so that you can talk about it. And if you are the one that read it &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt;... Who says that it's only you that needs to do the encouraging? Peer pressure in a positive sense... ^_^&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almost equally important is to establish reading as a habit, something that becomes an automatism under certain circumstances. For our family, everyone loves to read in bed, typically at bedtime to wind down, but I have also found my children continue the book from the evening before when they woke early. The prospect of being allowed to stay awake a bit longer instead of going to sleep right away would entice my children even if they weren't voracious readers already. Books can help bridge boring (adult) events -  but you need to leave the handheld electronic devices at home. (Hint: They can run out of battery if you conveniently &quot;forget&quot; to charge them...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But remember that reading skills aren't about books alone - ask her to get information for you from various sources, be it school letters about upcomming events, newspaper headlines or instructions on the back of a pack of Hamburger Helper. Reading is not only about building vocabulary, but also about acquiring information - make reading something that is done &quot;en passant&quot;, not necessary a skill that stands alone and is done only at school or at bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And my final suggestion: Use the approaching fall and winter to curl up on the sofa with a good book and a cup of tea yourself, perhaps she will choose to join you. If not, you will at least be relaxed for another round of &quot;parenting&quot;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I interpret your other questions correctly, your daughter has an older brother - if he doesn't read he might be the &quot;role model&quot; she's currently adhering to. You might have to get him on (the book-)board, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-09-09T09:38:47.517" LastActivityDate="2015-09-09T09:38:47.517" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21967" CreationDate="2015-09-09T10:29:28.600" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some children will produce more saliva than others - leads to drooling. It is because, the ability to swallow isn’t developed in most of the children at this age. This might be one of the reason and another reason would be the child may be cutting his 2 year molars. Once your child develops the ability to swallow and his molars come in then the drooling stops.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To develop the swallowing ability let your child to have sips of water frequently throughout the day. This may help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-09-09T10:29:28.600" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21987" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22938" CreationDate="2015-09-09T11:02:46.940" Score="4" ViewCount="536" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7-year-old, younger brother. Sometimes, he wets the bed. He wants to stop doing this, but he says he can't control it. He doesn't even know when he does it. Does anyone have any advice on how we can stop his bed-wetting problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user17841" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-03T12:02:07.393" LastActivityDate="2018-10-03T12:02:07.393" Title="How can we help my 7-year-old brother stop wetting the bed?" Tags="|primary-schooler|siblings|bed-wetting|enuresis|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21988" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-09T11:38:27.017" Score="3" ViewCount="2659" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am weaning my 10 month old boy. We seem to do well during the daytime. But during the night-time he cries a lot until I breastfeed him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I night wean my baby without a struggle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have introduced solids for dinner. Does his frequent night-waking mean that he's hungry at night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My grandmother suggests giving him only plain water, is this correct? Can I use formula instead?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18904" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T20:50:45.007" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T06:49:58.040" Title="My ten month old boy wakes up three times a night for milk - How can I night wean my baby without a struggle?" Tags="|infant|sleep|breastfeeding|formula|weaning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21980" CreationDate="2015-09-09T17:29:17.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girls (3 and 5) love having stories read to them but I think a lot of that had to do with starting with books that were related to their favorite shows, which are always playing ambiently in the background. Like Mickey Mouse, Disney movies, etc. Later they advanced into all kids books even if they were not related to their favorite shows. When my oldest was 4 we started reading The Hobbit, as much as she could get through in a night, and I kept her interested by playing out roles and things that happen in the book with her. I got her an invisibility ring like Bilbo had in the book and a glowing sword, made her a little cape, played quiz games with her, drew maps, and reminded her that when we finished the book she could watch the movies even though I was certain she wasn't ready for them. She got through the whole thing and recalled quite a lot of it. She even sat through all of the recent Hobbit movies, and was not scared at any of the evil. She said it was awesome and asked what other books we could read. Tried to start Lord of the Rings but we both agreed it was too ridiculous for either of us to try to read at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She got through Treasure Island. She still loves all her Barenstein Bears books, so even though we read books people don't tend to read until they are much older, she maintains an interest in the standard picture books for kids her age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So basically I think interaction was key there. Showing that we were both into it and doing it together made her want more and even ask for it as a routine before bed. Her choice for the most part but that may be because I didn't exactly tell her there were other options. She's doing well with reading for a 5 year old, but obviously I don't expect her to be reading books on her own yet. While I understand your question is for a kid twice my daughter's age, I still think the interaction part could be tuned to her age without it being too childish or whatever one might call adults and 10 year olds playing out parts of story books. I found the fun of reading doesn't have to be limited to the pages and the movie your mind draws out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="13274" LastEditDate="2015-09-09T17:56:45.630" LastActivityDate="2015-09-09T17:56:45.630" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21958" CreationDate="2015-09-09T18:58:49.970" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have that with my two year old daughter. This is a very hard age to discipline. At this age they do understand positive reinforcement. Try giving a treat, aka jelly bean, chocolate chip, if he stop right away. &#xA;There is the side that you will be reinforcing bad behavior - but this will stop behavior without the tantrum and harmful behavior. When you give him the treat reinforce the reason - 'I am giving you this treat because you aren't hitting'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18909" LastActivityDate="2015-09-09T18:58:49.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21958" CreationDate="2015-09-09T20:02:16.940" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lock me in a room and I'm going to explode, too.  Especially if it's a punishment.  Time outs work very well as actual breaks - not directly punishments.  IE:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Okay, Johnny, you're hitting me and that makes me sad.  I think you're not in control of yourself right now.  Let's take a couple of minutes of alone time to get you back in control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they don't work at this age, though, which is quite common: don't use them on him.  If he's hitting you, give &lt;em&gt;yourself&lt;/em&gt; a time out instead.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Okay, Johnny, you're hitting me and that makes me sad.  I'm going to go away to [less fun room] and [do something boring] for a couple of minutes.  If you get back in control and can be nice to me, we can keep playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This even works if you're doing something he doesn't particularly want to do, such as bedtime.  Odds are he wants your attention - that's probably part of why he's hitting - and making it clear that hitting does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; get more attention.  It also usually has the same effect of &quot;resetting&quot; him that a normal time out has; after a couple of minutes away, his trigger will have stopped affecting him and you can return to what you were normally doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be good.  It's just very hard to concentrate on being good when you're 2 (or 5 or 25...).  Losing control happens, particularly when triggered by excitement/frustration/anxiety/other strong emotions. The goal should usually be not to punish the action, but to teach him to restore control, while reminding him the action is inappropriate, and requiring him to 'fix' the action - say sorry, clean up the spilled milk, pick up the thrown toys, etc. - to restore the equilibrium.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-09-09T20:02:16.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21994" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-10T02:34:08.113" Score="0" ViewCount="1962" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old brother keeps waking up at night screaming and crying every 15 minutes. I have school in the mornings, and I'm trying to sleep. Not only is he being disturbed, I am too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I googled stuff, but nothing helps. We can't take him to the doctor, and we leave his door open and the hall light on. He has a flashlight and a bright night light, but he still cries. I'm wondering if we should just leave him in the pitch black because maybe the night light is illuminating the room and causing shadows. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is getting old, and fast. I am not getting as much sleep as I need because of this! What do I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18911" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-09T17:29:36.463" LastActivityDate="2018-09-09T17:29:36.463" Title="My 2-year-old brother keeps waking up screaming every 15 minutes!" Tags="|toddler|sleep|siblings|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="21995" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-10T02:40:09.153" Score="-1" ViewCount="151" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm an intermediate kid and being scared of every little sound I hear in the house is getting old and wasting precious sleeping time. Every time I'm in the sleep zone, I hear a sound like footsteps and doors close and people talking (not outside, it sounds like my brother or sister) and clicks and beeps and stuff. I know for sure everyone is asleep, but still.. and sometimes I see shadows and stuff. I know it's not real but no get scared for  second then I can't help but think about it the whole night, then I can't sleep. I need help, but I can't see a doc or therapist. What else should I do besides that and telling myself it's my imagination? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18911" LastActivityDate="2015-09-10T03:13:28.023" Title="Im scared at night!" Tags="|infant|night-time|anxiety|sharing|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-09-10T04:03:07.253" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21995" CreationDate="2015-09-10T03:13:28.023" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in my 50s, and sometimes I struggle with the same thing! Some things I find helpful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Leaving a light on in the next room&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Running a fan&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sitting up and reading until I am really sleepy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Music or television on with really low volume&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of people find sleeping with a pet helpful. Maybe that is an option for you? Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2015-09-10T03:13:28.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21980" CreationDate="2015-09-10T06:51:00.957" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried reading to her? 15 minutes before she goes to bed, stop in the middle of a chapter, and tell her she can read on her own for a bit if she wants to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let her pick the book.&lt;/strong&gt; Nothing will turn her off reading faster than having books pushed at her because you think they are worthy. You may think her choice is drivel, but go with it. If it gets her reading the rest will follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: also she may well start by getting stuck on one particular series with 20 books in it, every one of which has exactly the same plot. Again, don't fight it, go with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T15:34:37.523" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T15:34:37.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="21998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21966" CreationDate="2015-09-10T08:55:30.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's definitely normal for kids of this age to go through a stage of being very shy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it's completely normal for some people to be more introverted than others. Our society puts a lot of pressure on us introverts to become or act more like extroverts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;we're not very social either &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This leads me to believe that her parents might be introverted too, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20130717-what-makes-someone-an-extrovert&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;which can be genetically passed on to offspring.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/200910/introversion-vs-shyness-the-discussion-continues&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;there is a difference between introverted and shy&lt;/a&gt; - what often works for introverts to be happy and less shy in a social setting is interacting with a &lt;strong&gt;people that they know well, a few at a time&lt;/strong&gt;. Introverts tend to be uncomfortable or find it energetically taxing in a large social gathering, but get energy from deep connections with a few good friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a bit early yet for your nearly 2-year-old to form these deep connections, but maybe try inviting over one or two neighborhood kids at a time to your house for a play date, instead of the larger gatherings in the street. She may never become 100% comfortable with the idea of playing outside with the bigger group, but her interest in it suggests that with time and with a few good strong connections in the group, she will gain the confidence to get up from your lap and join the fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-09-10T08:55:30.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22002" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22003" CreationDate="2015-09-10T12:05:46.963" Score="6" ViewCount="3826" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 month old boy licks my face,especially my nose when i bring him close to my face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does this only to me. But i am concerned. i tried to distract him when he licks but he thinks of it as fun and repeatedly does that.Is this normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18905" LastEditorUserId="18905" LastEditDate="2015-09-10T13:36:37.207" LastActivityDate="2023-01-07T01:38:17.750" Title="Is it normal for my 10 month old boy to lick my face" Tags="|infant|behavior|activities|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22002" CreationDate="2015-09-10T13:50:17.090" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Genuinely, not an issue. Don't worry. He's having fun, he probably thinks that it's kissing or something. It's very normal for children to be more physically affectionate with their mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-09-10T13:50:17.090" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21994" CreationDate="2015-09-10T14:14:27.500" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are quite a few possibilities as to why your brother is unable to sleep properly, so I'll go over the most likely causes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is he tired when he goes to bed?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible that your brother just isn't ready for bed yet. You could help by playing with him before bed or reading him a story. 2-year-olds have a LOT of energy, so trying to dissipate some of that might help. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7/how-do-i-get-my-6-month-old-to-sleep-better-at-night?rq=1&quot;&gt;Establishing a bedtime routine might also help.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Was he sleeping normally before?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is a new occurrence, it's possible that he's:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Scared of the dark&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not used to sleeping in a &quot;big boy&quot; bed/Not used to sleeping alone&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Experiencing nightmares for the first time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be one of the above, or all three. &lt;a href=&quot;http://sorensmom-ivil.tripod.com/earlybedtime.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Dr. Marc Weissbluth has some more information about proper sleep habits and other probable causes for a change in sleep behavior.&lt;/a&gt; Based on what you've described, it sounds like he may have had a bad nightmare at one point, and is afraid of falling asleep (that &quot;waking every 15 minutes&quot;) in fear that the nightmare will &quot;get him&quot;. Alternatively, he's having very frequent and vivid nightmares when he falls asleep, enough to wake him up screaming and crying every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to communicate with your brother. &lt;em&gt;Is he scared of something?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of cause, have a serious talk to your parents about this, especially if you think it's going to start negatively affecting your school performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17510" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-09-10T14:14:27.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22005" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21929" CreationDate="2015-09-10T15:31:57.950" Score="5" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Determining the cause&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first suspicion is that there is some reason that your daughter doesn't want to sleep.  While her stubbornness is helpful to her in keeping her awake, it's not the &lt;em&gt;reason&lt;/em&gt; for her wakefulness.  There must be something that causing her not to &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to go to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While preschoolers can be very oppositional and will often do something precisely because they are told not to, it doesn't sound like this is what's going on here.  You've tried a number of things, and it doesn't sound like you're pushing her so hard that she's staying up just to defy you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Potential factors&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that she has something on her mind that makes her not want to sleep.  It could be&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A newly-discovered fear.  &#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maybe there's a new piece of furniture/toy that looks spooky when the lights are out?  Maybe she saw a &quot;scary&quot; movie or read a &quot;scary&quot; book and is now worried that some sort of monster is going to jump out of her closet when the lights are turned out.  (Even &quot;G&quot;-rated movies can be scary to some small children, especially if they already have some fears about certain things.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Perhaps she recently discovered the fear of death (especially, but not necessarily, if there was a death in the family -- even of a pet).  She may be worried that if she goes to sleep, she might never wake up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Phobias abound.  She may be scared of spiders, thunder, loud noises, turtles, going to the bathroom by herself, etc.  At night, when the mind is quiet, is the time when these things come to the fore.  She begins to think about something that scared her, and becomes scared all over again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A change in relationship.  Is there someone in her life that has recently moved away, or died, or is unavailable for some other reason?  Is there a new person in her life that she might be trying to adjust to?  At this age, children don't necessarily understand that relationships aren't always permanent, and adjustment may be very difficult.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A change in circumstance.  Has she recently started school?  Daycare?  A swimming or dance class?  Have you rearranged the house or gotten rid of something significant?  Did someone close to her move house, or go through a significant life change?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Depression.  Childhood depression is real, and if she is depressed, it could be affecting her ability to sleep.  With this one, though, there should be other signs as well.  I'm no expert in depression, but the internet should be able to help you with signs and symptoms.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;An overactive mind.  I've known a few children who find it hard to &quot;turn off&quot; their brain.  The gears are always turning, thinking about and processing everything from their day, and until their minds can slow down and rest, their bodies can't either.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Something else.  The possibilities are too numerous to mention, but there could be any number of things that are psychologically preventing sleep.  You'll need to use your judgement and your knowledge of your daughter to try to determine what it is that is on her mind.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Strategies&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can think of two different strategies that may help her be able to sleep:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Talk time&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea here is to modify your bedtime routine to include &quot;talk time&quot;.  This is a short period (maybe 10 or 15 minutes, or even less at the beginning) where she has your (or your wife's) undivided attention and she can talk about whatever she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This strategy may require a lot of patience on your part; for the first days/weeks, the talk may be frivolous or even nonsensical.  She will probably be thrilled to have your undivided attention, but may not actually know what to talk about, so she may make up stories or even resort to baby talk or stringing random words together.  If you stick with it though, she should get used to the fact that you're always going to be available to listen, and may start saving up more serious things to talk about at night.  Hopefully you will eventually be able to determine what it is that's preventing her from sleeping and address it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Melatonin supplements&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This solution may not work in your case, but might be worth trying.  You may want to consult your child's doctor before going ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Melatonin is a hormone produced naturally by the body in the evenings, and causes you to &quot;feel sleepy&quot;.  Melatonin levels in the body are almost non-existent during the day, and then they ramp up at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Melatonin supplements are available over-the-counter in the U.S. and Canada (in Europe they require a prescription).  Giving her a supplement about 15 minutes to 1/2 hour before you want her to actually go to sleep might help to give her that little nudge over the edge into sleep.  (In your case, maybe right after corporate reading time?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had significant success with melatonin supplements with my own daughter (3.5 years old), who had similar problems with sleep, which is why I mention it here.  It may not be the solution for everyone, though, and if there is something psychological preventing sleep, it won't help to determine the actual root cause of the sleeplessness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See my question &lt;a href=&quot;https://health.stackexchange.com/questions/1692/is-prolonged-use-of-melatonin-supplements-safe-for-a-3-year-old&quot;&gt;Is prolonged use of melatonin supplements safe for a 3-year-old?&lt;/a&gt; on Health.SE for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:53:20.493" LastActivityDate="2015-09-10T15:31:57.950" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22007" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22008" CreationDate="2015-09-10T16:29:56.843" Score="4" ViewCount="766" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am from India where coconut plays an important role in food. My son is currently 10 months old; when can I start adding coconut milk or scraped/shredded coconut to his food?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to add it so he gets used to it and also for the new flavor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, when can I safely add fresh coconut to my child's food? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18905" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-11T00:54:01.630" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T00:56:01.803" Title="Can coconut milk or scraped coconut be added to my baby's food?" Tags="|infant|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22007" CreationDate="2015-09-10T16:51:36.013" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Coconut is not really a nut, though the FDA now classifies it as a &quot;tree nut&quot;. It is not cross-reactive with nut allergies in general; see for example &lt;a href=&quot;http://acaai.org/allergies/types/food-allergies/types-food-allergy/tree-nut-allergy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this page&lt;/a&gt; discussing nut allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Coconut is not a botanical nut; it is classified as a fruit, even though the Food and Drug Administration recognizes coconut as a tree nut. While allergic reactions to coconut have been documented, most people who are allergic to tree nuts can safely eat coconut. If you are allergic to tree nuts, talk to your allergist before adding coconut to your diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, allergy concern should be similar to that of other foods; serve it on a three to five day period where no other new foods are served in order to identify if an allergy exists (well, in order to know what the allergy is from if it's served).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fresh coconuts are not highly dangerous from a food safety perspective, but like almost all raw foods can have some risk of contamination with &lt;em&gt;E.Coli&lt;/em&gt; or Salmonella.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://cooking.stackexchange.com/questions/45962/is-raw-coconut-safe-to-eat&quot;&gt;This Cooking.SE question&lt;/a&gt; discusses this to some extent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, at minimum wash your coconut carefully before handling or opening it (even though you're not eating the outside - washing is to remove any pathogens that might get on the knife blade or hammer or whatnot while opening, and then pass to the inside).  Safer would be to boil the water before serving, though I don't know what changes that might induce on the coconut milk itself.  Ten months old is old enough to be somewhat safer from foodborne illness (than a 3 month old), but is certainly young enough that you should be very careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cooked coconut products, subject to the normal care you take in cooking, storing, and serving food, should be perfectly fine for your baby, as long as you take the normal steps documented above to verify he's not allergic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/can-babies-eat-coconut-or-have-coconut-milk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This page of baby food recipes&lt;/a&gt; goes into some more detail than I do above about these topics, plus discusses the different ways you should prepare the different parts of the coconut.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally - you should pay attention to choking hazards as well when giving your baby coconut meat or shredded coconut.  Either give him a small enough piece that it is not a choking hazard (i.e., shredded finely), or take other precautions.  Also be cognizant of how dry the coconut is, if it is shredded; make sure he's periodically drinking, or it may be too dry for him and could cause a choking hazard even if it is finely shredded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:33:29.713" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T00:56:01.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22009" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-10T19:22:07.030" Score="2" ViewCount="404" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is not doing well in school. She just started first grade and she is already having problems with behavior and academics. I'm trying rewarding her when she does what she is suppose to do. She has a hard time focusing. She gets distracted very easily. Then I have to be really firm and serious so that she understands it is not a game. She tries giving me puppy sad eyes. Or she starts crying,but no actual tears.or she tries hugging me and trying to get me to play instead of staying on task. It is very frustrating and I find myself raising my voice. She comes to my house with most of the weeks school work not done and I have to play catch up. I can not control what is or isn't done in the other homes. But what can I do to make her understand how important it is for her to do her school work, homework, and behave in school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18919" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T21:00:42.637" Title="What can you do when the child lives in three different homes with three different set of rules? It is a six almost seven year old girl" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2015-09-10T20:54:03.120" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Push walkers acctually delay walking. The child is not balancing on their own and instead of spening time crawling, which helps develope balance in a natural way, they are soending time relying on a push toy, wagon, or walker. The best way to encourage walking is to give your child lots of tummy time. Do not help them sit up, let them figure it out when they are ready and have developed enough muscle. There is a kot of info out there regarding how damaging these baby props are to natural developement. &#xA;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18920" LastActivityDate="2015-09-10T20:54:03.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5028" CreationDate="2015-09-11T10:21:04.140" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stork Craft Hoop Glider and Ottoman will be the best gift for breastfeeding moms. A place for them to sit comfortably and nurse her baby. This makes her breastfeeding life easier and more comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T10:21:04.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22013" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22046" CreationDate="2015-09-11T11:14:15.113" Score="12" ViewCount="3031" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 10 years old. Shes in the fourth grade. She was held back this year because she is having difficulties in Math and English Language &amp;amp; Arts (ELA). She was suppose to go into fifth grade this year. I became aware of her learning disability at the end of last year. Her school and I are diligently providing help for her, in school and out of school. She receives one hour of tutoring in both subjects everyday at school. And I also take her to a highly recommended tutoring program on the weekends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't told her that she has this problem, but she is starting to ask me, 'Why can't I seem to make good grades and why is it difficult to retain information that I've learned?' I dont know what to say so I just change the subject and talk about something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I tell my daughter that she has a Learning Disability?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17817" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T19:38:16.003" Title="What do I tell my child about her Learning Disability?" Tags="|development|education|school|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16457" CreationDate="2015-09-11T11:41:36.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize I am late to this, but here's my €0.02 anyway: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what I know adults with ADHD often do either&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;something geeky (math, CS, other science,...), &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;something involving helping others, importance, risks, intense and enthusiastic phases, and deep and instant satisfaction (police, firefighters, soldiers,...), or &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;something creative (art, entertainment,...) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many fail at occupations requiring repetitive tasks without variation and instant satisfaction (think picking blueberries). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, knowing this, I try hard to prepare the child I have which suffers from (mild) ADHD by trying to strengthen exactly those qualification that ADHD people lack. That is, I demand more effort where it is harder for that child. Coming from this direction, I would consider it wrong to shape the curriculum exclusively to emphasis the things your son does well and deemphasis the things he does not do well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T11:41:36.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22013" CreationDate="2015-09-11T12:10:44.197" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's high time she is told, but read this first: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a whole bunch of children, I can tell you that each child is special in its own ways – which includes that each one has their own set of problems. One is good at math, but horrifically bad at remembering even a dozen country's capitals. One is very well aware of what the people around feel, but did wet the bed well into school age. One is great at sports, but bad at paying attention. One is always very helpful, but also very impulsive... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So this one child of yours has this problem. I am sure her brother has other problems. In fact, if you talk to your daughter's peers' parents, you are very likely to hear that each of their children all have one or more problems. Only their problems are different from your daughter's. So your child isn't standing out for having this problem. She just has a different problem then everyone else – just like everyone else has. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And one more things: One of my friends suffered from a severe learning disability in his childhood. He's past 50 now, and it still shows. But while I would not ask him to review a manuscript, and while he's never had a well-paying job, he is a very wonderful human being, who is great to be with, loves to help other people, is exhaustingly thorough in everything he starts, never forgets anyone's birthday, and what he does as an occupation he is very good at. In short, he is a genuinely great addition to his social circles, even though he has, just like everybody else, deficiencies. He certainly is much nicer to be around than some very bright people I know which I sometimes loath having to spend time with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look at your daughter's learning disability from these angles, you will find that she is not worse than other children, she just shines in a different light. (I am sure you have known this all along, but it is important to consciously think of it once in a while.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is this thoughts you should have in mind when you explain to your daughter what her special problem is. Make her aware of her weakness without making her feel like she isn't worth much. Explain to her that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Point out what she, her family's members, and her friends are good at and what these people are bad at. And do not fail to point out that the latter, our weaknesses, is exactly what we all need to work on harder than the other people need to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latter is the reason I think you need to explain to her as soon as possible what her problems are: How else is she to know what to work more hard on? The fact that this does not make her an unworthy person is the reason I think you do not have to be shy to tell her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-09-15T19:38:16.003" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T19:38:16.003" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22013" CreationDate="2015-09-11T13:21:26.223" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honesty about a learning disability is important for helping the child cope with it. They know if their grades aren't as good, or they can't remember the words, or it's harder for them to read — absent any information to the contrary, they may simply conclude that they're stupid or worthless and therefore just stop trying. Parents and teachers can provide extra support (tutoring, for example, or extra time on tests), but at some point kids grow up and aren't in school anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a lot of good reading out there about talking to kids about learning disabilities or other special needs. These are a couple ones that I found; I really suggest reading them in full (both are empowering and informative), but here are some selections of what I felt was the best advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pbs.org/parents/education/learning-disabilities/supporting-your-child/talk-to-your-child/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Talk to Your Child About His Disability&lt;/a&gt; (PBS Parents)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Parents should attempt to demystify the condition by talking more&#xA;  about the particular effects of a learning disability than talking in &#xA;  terms of complex nomenclature that has no relevance for a child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Parents should keep the learning disability in perspective and try&#xA;  to find, praise, and build upon the child’s areas of strength.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Parents should learn to listen to the child, answer the questions&#xA;  the child has, and only go further when the child requests more&#xA;  information.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Parents should try to protect a child from humiliation, but this&#xA;  does not mean hiding the fact that the child has a learning&#xA;  disability. Instead, practicing resiliency, identification, and&#xA;  appreciation of special strengths and ways to compensate are essential.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ldonline.org/lavoie/Explaining_Learning_Disabilities_to_Your_Child&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Explaining Learning Disabilities to Your Child&lt;/a&gt;  (LD Online)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;When discussing the child's learning problems with her, it is critical to explain what the disorder is—and what it is not. You may&#xA;  find that the child holds many misconceptions about her disorder (&quot;It&#xA;  goes away at middle school&quot;; &quot;It means I'm stupid&quot;; &quot;I'll never be&#xA;  able to read&quot;), and it is important that you clarify and correct this&#xA;  misinformation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Attempt to strike a balance between what she can do and what is&#xA;  difficult for her. Express optimism about her development and her future.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Continually remind the child that she can, indeed, learn but that she&#xA;  learns in a unique way that requires her to work hard and participate in&#xA;  classes and activities that are different from her peers' and siblings'.&#xA;  Emphasize the fact that this situation exists through no fault or choice &#xA;  of the child's.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Emphasize that the child is different, not defective.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son (now 8) has ADHD, and we have been up front about this since he was diagnosed last year. We talked about how that makes him a bit different from some of his friends. We talked about how it related to some of his struggles at school: sitting still, listening, staying on task. And since he &lt;em&gt;already knew&lt;/em&gt; there was something wrong and he couldn't please his teacher no matter how hard he tried, it helped him &lt;em&gt;just to be able to name the problem&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discussing his ADHD is an ongoing process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's always going to be a part of him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The sort of challenges he faces are going to change as he gets older: right now it's sitting still in the classroom, but in middle school it will be note-taking, and organization will be increasingly important. I also expect that as he goes through puberty and adolesence, we'll start noticing different challenges that we can't even think of right now.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We keep providing external reinforcement that he's doing a good job coping with it. Some things are harder for him because of the ADHD, and he deserves to know we're proud of the additional effort he puts in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm interested in making sure that he always does his best and doesn't use ADHD as an excuse to &quot;slack off&quot;. I focus on praising effort in addition to (or instead of) results, and make our expectations clear. We don't demand straight A's or a deep and abiding love of school, but we do expect attentive behavior, assignments brought home and returned to school, and honest effort. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He needs to have a sympathetic ear to express his frustrations. I can endorse that frustration, and talk through a problem, accepting that there's ADHD (which he can't change) while examining other circumstances and his reaction to events (both of which he &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; change).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A year later, he gets frustrated less quickly, doesn't declare that he's stupid and worthless (as often), and is becoming more aware of situations or circumstances that particularly cause him problems. He actively suggests ideas for interventions. But most importantly, he is equipped with knowledge and strategies that will be useful long after he grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final note, I've found that my personal feelings about his ADHD have sometimes interfered with being the best advocate possible, both to him and with other people (family, teachers). Deep down, I feel like I somehow failed him and it's my fault. This is inaccurate, pointless, and unproductive self-blame, of course; nevertheless, I have to &lt;em&gt;consciously remind myself&lt;/em&gt; that it's inaccurate to get back to being productive. Getting rid of my own negativity was the first step to becoming a strong source of support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-15T18:48:34.603" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T18:48:34.603" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1090" CreationDate="2015-09-11T14:36:15.100" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I disagree that raising your child to be an Atheist would be no different from raising him to be Christian. You should remain as neutral as possible. It just happens that Atheism is about as neutral as it gets (literally a lack of faith, but not the deniance of faith).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't force him to pray. It would be fruitless, as he would just grow to dislike prayer. To him, it's a meaningless activity, so he wouldn't learn anything, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sooner or later, he will follow your example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18928" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T14:36:15.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21984" CreationDate="2015-09-11T16:17:49.180" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, it's a gradual process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are the milestones for speech and language development?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first signs of communication occur when an infant learns that a cry will bring food, comfort, and companionship. Newborns also begin to recognize important sounds in their environment, such as the voice of their mother or primary caretaker. As they grow, babies begin to sort out the speech sounds that compose the words of their language. By 6 months of age, most babies recognize the basic sounds of their native language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children vary in their development of speech and language skills. However, they follow a natural progression or timetable for mastering the skills of language. ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's some of the milestones which relate directly to speaking:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1 to 2 Years&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Uses some one- or two-word questions (“Where kitty?” or “Go bye-bye?”)&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Puts two words together (“More cookie”)&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Uses many different consonant sounds at the beginning of words&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2 to 3 Years&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Has a word for almost everything&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Uses two- or three-word phrases to talk about and ask for things&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Uses k, g, f, t, d, and n sounds&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Speaks in a way that is understood by family members and friends&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Names objects to ask for them or to direct attention to them&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3 to 4 Years&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Talks about activities at daycare, preschool, or friends’ homes&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Uses sentences with four or more words&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Speaks easily without having to repeat syllables or words&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4 to 5 Years&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Uses sentences that give many details&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Tells stories that stay on topic&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Communicates easily with other children and adults&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Says most sounds correctly except for a few (l, s, r, v, z, ch, sh, and th)&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Uses rhyming words&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Names some letters and numbers&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Uses adult grammar&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Selected items from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/pages/speechandlanguage.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Speech and Language Developmental Milestones&lt;/a&gt;, NICD (USA), Updated September 2010, based upon &lt;em&gt;How Does Your Child Hear and Talk?&lt;/em&gt;, courtesy of the American Speech–Language–Hearing Association.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So essentially the answer to your question - when can they carry on a decent-ish conversation - is &amp;quot;somewhere between age 3 and age 5&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T16:17:49.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21612" CreationDate="2015-09-11T17:16:54.613" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you absolutely sure a helmet is necessary when transporting your kid in the trailer? I have a trailer too and have never even considered making our daughter wear a helmet, but then this is The Netherlands. I can actually imagine the added weight puts a lot of strain on the kid's neck, even in normal operating conditions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And bike trailers are safer in a collision than you might think, check the German ADAC website.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18932" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T17:16:54.613" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="283" CreationDate="2015-09-11T18:03:39.850" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't understand what this has to do with being opposite sex. At which age should an older sister stop sharing her bedroom with a younger sister? Why would the answer differ if it was a younger brother? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my older kids, the answer was: &lt;em&gt;When their interests were too different from their younger siblings.&lt;/em&gt; One of my girls effectively stopped playing at the age of 11, a boy at 12. (They would still play with their younger siblings sometimes, but only to please those, not for her own amusement.) A year or two later they were happy to move into their own room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FWIW, two of my kids would occasionally share a bed (when visiting elsewhere, when we had visitors, or just because they wanted it for mutual comfort) until they were 11 and 14. Then the older one fell in love with someone, and they stopped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T18:03:39.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21612" CreationDate="2015-09-11T19:18:14.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I imagine at 14 months, your child's neck is pretty good but I doubt it's up to the weight of a helmet for any length of time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add to it the helmet is poor fitting, and the cyclist in me cries. Even following all of the guides.. rim above the eyes, rear edge on the right above the neck...straps go around the ears etc, etc. a helmet even for the right age group may not right correctly. Adding the extra padding into one often just adds that extra weight and traps in more uncomfortable heat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest if at all possible re-cycling the soft trailer for something more fitting, or for a full on child seat.  I know, that means your little one is forced upright and cannot lay down, but the only other thought I could offer is something like this &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.burley.com/product/encore/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.burley.com/product/encore/&lt;/a&gt;  Where there is a full seat that is designed to go into the trailer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, for an ex's small child we used a toddler child seat on the back of my bike, the hard plastics felt really good, it had just the right amount of padding, and he could look around, and if he did fall asleep (quite frequently) the straps and the head rest fit with just enough of a recline that he always fell asleep without falling over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17846" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T19:18:14.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21612" CreationDate="2015-09-11T19:46:17.947" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our son was that small we strapped his carseat into the trailer seat, to the trailer frame. Between the carseat and the trailer frame I was comfortable with his level of safety even without a helmet (e.g. had the trailer somehow rolled over, the trailer would keep him from dragging on the ground).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We only rode on bike paths, not streets, but honestly if you're worried about getting hit by a car going 40 MPH the helmet won't make a huge difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18898" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T19:46:17.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21988" CreationDate="2015-09-11T19:47:13.257" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We sort of have the same problem, at 10 months my little girl is waking up usually 3 sometimes 4 times a night.  Quite often it's 3 times a night that she actis like and doesn't go back down till she's fed a bit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That to me, and our pediatrician says 'hungry.'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This occurs even now with our new bedtime routing which is bath, book, breast....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, she is feeding, and theoretically filling up right at bedtime.  Our pediatrician wants us to try other, small, quiet things before feeding: swaddling, holding for comfort, .... and to be looking hard at where she's sleeping to ensure it's not causing these wake ups.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With weaning, your still breastfeeding or bottle feeding mother's milk, and best thing I can think of with what I've been told and seen. Ensure your little one is full, their nighttime routine is consistent and helps to settle them down, and finally that their bedding area is free from things to wake them up, and if they are spitting up at night or having bowel movements at night, then yes their stomach is going to be empty and it may take awhile to get that rhythm to happen during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17846" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T19:47:13.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21988" CreationDate="2015-09-11T19:59:13.117" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing we found was that our kids tended to fall asleep very easy when they were breastfeeding during the day.  Get a little food, get the warmth of mom's body, and it's lights out even in the middle of the afternoon.  So we started making sure they did not do this.  We'd find ways to keep them stimulated even as they fed during the day - play with them, rubbing their arms and legs, talking to them (not a soothing voice, but a fun playful or normal voice).  Also, we stuck to a schedule - feed every three hours during the day, want it or not, and not in between, also want it or not.  And no feeding at night.  If you give in to them asking you for it, they will keep asking.  When our kids cried at night, we'd check for a reason - dirty diaper, bugs that got into the mosquito net (we lived for 4 years in the Amazon forest), pinched skin, too cold or too hot.  We'd fix those, but otherwise, we'd let them cry themselves to sleep.  Before long, they figure out it's easier to just go back to sleep.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Either you train them (lovingly of course) to do what is healthy, or they will train you to do what they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T19:59:13.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21988" CreationDate="2015-09-11T21:48:13.473" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you co-sleeping or does he sleep in a crib? Have you tried Dr. Jay Gordon's methods? they are for co-sleepers but the idea is the same and can be tweaked. Basically the first week you shorten the time you feed at night, the next week you pick up and rock or pat, the third week you ignore the cries. It's a gentler way than going cold turkey all at once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16751" LastActivityDate="2015-09-11T21:48:13.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22030" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22033" CreationDate="2015-09-12T04:22:53.907" Score="31" ViewCount="11081" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is very passionate about music and wants to grow up to become a musician. Unfortunately, the truth hurts. The parent wished he were deaf when the child starts playing any musical instrument. The child plays very terrible music very passionately. If only he studies as hard in school. How should the parent advise the child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child is 9 years old. The music he produces can cause lizards to fall off the wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4927" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-09-12T22:46:11.983" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T17:24:07.167" Title="How should a parent advise a child who wants to become a musician even though he is devoid of talent?" Tags="|music|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="22" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-12T05:19:04.430" Score="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't discourage following musical talent. Although he may never be good, it may be a good release when he needs to think. Thomas Jefferson was not amazing but often played the violin when he needed to think things through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tend to gravitate toward things at which our personalities excel. You could always have him look at other things he may enjoy instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18938" LastEditorUserId="9980" LastEditDate="2015-09-16T17:24:07.167" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T17:24:07.167" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-12T10:57:41.207" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think lots of people want to be musicians for reasons that have less to do with the music than with being the centre of attention in a specific way. So it should be relatively easy to transfer it to something else once the child gains recognition for successes there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if the child is still young, then as a parent I would try to make sure not to send the child on another, longer dead end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, learning musical instruments without help is hard. If the child is not musical enough to be frustrated to the point of giving up or asking for formal lessons, then that may be a bad sign, but it's hardly conclusive proof for hopelessness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13408" LastActivityDate="2015-09-12T10:57:41.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-12T11:06:13.530" Score="71" Body="&lt;p&gt;As rumtscho commented, how do you know the child has no talent? And how do you know they won't end up selling a million records? Take the Sex Pistols as an example - when they started they couldn't play or sing and sounded awful, but were incredibly enthusiastic and became stars. Everyone starts off sounding like they are strangling a cat, or destroying the instrument!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this stage I'd suggest encouraging your child is more important than putting them down. You could suggest some structured tuition, as this can set them on the right track to learning properly. After a while, get a professional music tutor's opinion on their capability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or alternatively, get them an electric instrument that can be played through headphones. Either way, be supportive, positive and enthusiastic for them if it is something they love doing - they may change their mind later anyway, and decide they hate it. But that's much better being self driven.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-09-12T11:06:13.530" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22034" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-12T14:24:26.017" Score="6" ViewCount="1107" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has been living with his girlfriend for 4 years.  He has an 11-year-old daughter and his girlfriend also has an 11-year-old daughter. They live in another state and do not come to see me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My granddaughter and I have an extremely close bond and I try to stay in touch with her to hold on to that beautiful relationship. Two weeks ago my son and his girlfriend got married. My new granddaughter is a beautiful loving child, but should I be expected to love her the same as my son's daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I called my granddaughter the other day, and when she answered the phone I said &quot;How is my favorite granddaughter?&quot; My son called me the next day to tell me I should not have said that and that I was on speaker phone and upset my new granddaughter. He also told me I could not send a gift to my granddaughter for being on the honor role this year unless I sent a present for both of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help me understand all of this because I think real love takes time to grow and I also know my granddaughter would be hurt if I all-of a sudden stopped telling her she was my special girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18939" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T18:20:41.557" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T20:24:50.797" Title="Should I be expected to love my new step-granddaughter instantly?" Tags="|primary-schooler|step-parents|extended-family|grandparents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22034" CreationDate="2015-09-12T15:13:05.490" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are not expected to love your new graddaughter the same as your first one. But you are expected to love her for what she is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;a beautiful loving child (your own words).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means she is &lt;em&gt;an individual&lt;/em&gt; that has a right to be seen as such. She is not an incumberance or a distraction that comes between your first grandchild and you, but an addition. How would you react if your son and his new wife had a new baby? Would you percieve this child as different? Would that love have to grow, too? Are nine months in the womb different that four years of cohabitation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And while in your heart you might always have a special spot for you son's first daughter, you should support the difficult process of blending two families by not playing favourite. In fact, you should work hard to treat both girls reasonably equal. This doesn't mean treat them as twins, but take care to show the same love and care to &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; girls. Yes, by all means acknowledge that one girl made the honour roll. &lt;em&gt;But make sure you do the same for whatever accievement the second celebrates.&lt;/em&gt; And yes, perhaps this means &lt;em&gt;&quot;fake it 'till you make it&quot;&lt;/em&gt; for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You write:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I think real love takes time to grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;True. But you had &lt;em&gt;four years&lt;/em&gt; to get to know (and love) this child before the marriage &quot;legitimized&quot; her status as your grandchild - I suggest it's high time that you get to know her better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't mean putting the love for your first on the back burner - love isn't a limited resource, after all - but the term &quot;favourite&quot; should probably be cleared from your vocabulary for now. If in ten years from now the relationships have settled, you can declare your first granddaughter as your &quot;favourite&quot; again. But with a bit of luck, you won't want to by then. If you play your cards right and &lt;em&gt;don't (even unintentionally) step on tender toes&lt;/em&gt; now, you might end up with two grandchildren that love and cherish you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-09-12T15:13:05.490" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-12T15:15:38.890" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;With formal training and time (and maybe earplugs for you) everyone improves.  My son played for many years with more enthusiasm about sharing the experience of creating music than putting in the time to be very good.  His music teacher gave him an award for being &quot;most enthusiastic&quot; student because it was clear to all he really enjoyed it.  He moved on from playing or thinking he could make a career of playing. Most children figure it out for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18940" LastActivityDate="2015-09-12T15:15:38.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22037" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-12T16:01:24.330" Score="-1" ViewCount="144" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old falls asleep straight away at bedtime, which is any time between 7 &amp;amp; 8 pm, but then wakes any time from as early as midnight onwards, then cant go back to sleep ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18942" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-16T19:27:53.863" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T19:27:53.863" Title="My 7 yr old cant stay asleep beyond 5 or 6 hours?" Tags="|sleep|primary-schooler|sleep-deprivation|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-12T18:06:11.803" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is 9 years old. It isn't exactly urgent that you either squash his creative ambitions or support them at the expense of every other possibility. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why not just be supportive? I don't remember when I hit my stride, but it was well into adulthood, and even then, my parents still didn't really understand my style or what I was doing, and they would probably have even said I wasn't very good (at the same time I was getting very positive feedback from my peers and audiences). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't sound very supportive. My advice would be to step back and examine your prejudices, as the answer to your question has much more to do with you than the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18944" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-09-12T22:51:57.807" LastActivityDate="2015-09-12T22:51:57.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5028" CreationDate="2015-09-12T21:36:52.687" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This isn't a stocking filler, but a rocking nursing chair and footstool is likely to be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If money is tight then look on eBay, they can be had cheap in good condition second-hand (here at least).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2015-09-12T21:36:52.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22034" CreationDate="2015-09-12T23:21:12.740" Score="10" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;They live in another state and do not come to see me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While your son and his daughter have had time to bond with your new granddaughter, you have not. Of course your granddaughter is much (more) beloved by you. But you have an opportunity to show your son that you love him by loving and accepting the people he loves. Also, doing anything less will put a strain on your relationship with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Please help me understand all of this because I think real love takes time to grow and I also know my granddaughter would be hurt all of a sudden I stopped telling her she was my special girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your granddaughter is 11 years old, and probably would appreciate &quot;I love you so much&quot; as much as &quot;you're most special to me&quot;. She has had time to bond with her sibling by marriage and might even feel uncomfortable with you addressing her in such a remarkably different manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best advice to you is to think about your priorities, and act on them. If your priority is to love your son and have a good relationship with him, you should probably just accept what he's saying, apologize, and promise you'll try to do better in the future. Then do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your priority is to maintain your relationship with your natural granddaughter, remember that if you alienate your son, your relationship with your granddaughter (who is only 11 and still impressionable) can suffer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your priority is to change your son's opinions and demands, you can try to do that, but he's an adult now, and you can only control your own behaviors and opinions, not anyone else's. It's not pleasant to be called out on something you feel strongly about, but it's happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to deal with what is, not what should be. Things in life are rarely what they should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please forgive me if this sounds unsympathetic. I'm not unsympathetic to your position. There are just times to be pragmatic and times to fight for your ideals. This sounds like the former. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-09-12T23:21:12.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-13T05:08:55.477" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Music helps in areas of math and analytical thinking. Give the kid time, some lessons, and i think you will come to realize that it was a great gift. Never discourage a young mind from creativity and interest. Never tell them what you wrote here. Instead you could complement them on their interest. Yes it is hard on the ears but most all musicians start off sounding terrible. You could also try a different instrument or re-arrange the music room in a way that will make you both happier. Get your kid in school band that way you never really need to listen. If you do insist on taking away their musical interest at least give them some other creative outlet such as art, dance or singing. Rock on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18950" LastActivityDate="2015-09-13T05:08:55.477" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-13T08:50:52.590" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talent ≠ skill. While a talent is innate, a skill is learned and developed. Talent can definitely give you a jumpstart on the road to success, but it's only through developing skill that you'll ever achieve it. Remember that regardless of talent, everyone begins their journey with no skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17352" LastActivityDate="2015-09-13T08:50:52.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22013" CreationDate="2015-09-13T20:34:45.930" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I am allowed to butt in, I'd like to share my personal experience with teaching very young Italian children English. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For seven years I taught English at two Kindergartens (BrEng &lt;em&gt;Nursery schools&lt;/em&gt;) to Italian children and children of immigrants aged between 3 and 6. And I can say, hand on heart, that every child, regardless of their natural ability, or any learning difficulty they may have had, all learnt something. It didn't matter if they could already read or write, if their parents never spoke a word of Italian at home, or if they were &quot;difficult&quot;. Everyone could learn a song, a simple game, a nursery rhyme, a story, and even how to cackle like an English witch! Young children learn when they are excited about a subject. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And those very children, the ones that teachers said had special learning needs would make progress. Their pronunciation was as good as any of the brightest,  they just didn't remember as many new words and they had greater difficulty in holding pencils, and tracing letters and numbers. But I never let on. I praised every single child for what they produced, it didn't matter how little or how much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will not be discouraged, if you tell her that she is making her own journey. The journey she is making might take longer than others but she will arrive at her destination in her own time. This is not a competition as to who is the fastest, or who gets the most points. But it's important to give her goals that are &lt;em&gt;achievable&lt;/em&gt; for her. Don't set the bar too high, keep it within her reach because it's so important for young children not to feel frustrated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help your daughter to discover the natural talents she possesses, but at the same time help her realize that her studies at school will enable her to cope in the real world. Try to connect what she is learning in class with the world outside. And praise, praise, praise every time she makes &lt;em&gt;progress&lt;/em&gt;. A child who has self-confidence will always achieve more that one who has been told they're not smart enough to do this, that or the other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11750" LastActivityDate="2015-09-13T20:34:45.930" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22047" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22054" CreationDate="2015-09-13T21:07:55.630" Score="12" ViewCount="175583" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 22 month old baby is a the stage where she is becoming a picky eater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing she currently has no resistance to, however, is &lt;strong&gt;bananas&lt;/strong&gt;. She'll eat a whole banana, ask for another, power through a second banana if I give in, then ask for &lt;em&gt;another&lt;/em&gt;, at which point I usually resist. More than 2 bananas a day seems like a lot for a 28 pound baby. I have nothing to back me up on this though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I determine how many bananas is too much? Are there any negative consequences of allowing her to eat bananas to her heart's content?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18956" LastActivityDate="2017-08-05T06:53:26.403" Title="Bananas. How many is too many for a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|health|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21988" CreationDate="2015-09-14T06:49:58.040" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What we did for a few days: I (the father) slept with the baby on a separate bed, with a water bottle ready. When he woke up, I cuddled him and gave him a bit to drink and he would sleep on. The idea is that when the baby smells the (still lactating!) mother, he/she gets hungry. As said, a few days broke the habit and weaning was relativly smooth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, I don't know if this is possible in your case, but give it a thought.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18963" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T06:49:58.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-14T08:29:35.837" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be glad your kid is enthusiastic about something which does not involve a computer monitor and beeping! I suffered greatly when my son learned drums, but it broke my heart when he gave everything up for World of Brainless Beepcraft.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is useful for any child to learn the discipline and self-discipline of music. The wonder of knowing how the dots turn into glorious harmony will stay with your kid forever. There is no greater joy than producing music in a group, no matter how bad you play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's really tone-deaf, try electric piano with headphones. Or drums (ouch).&#xA;Make a soundproof room for practicing. We use a cellar room, I pinned egg trays on the ceiling, I still use it to practice the saxophone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discipline; once we had a nighttime carnival procession. It was cold and rainy. I said, I'm not going, they can manage without me and I don't want to get my uniform wet. The son said, Mom, I have to go, the other drummer can't come and they can't play without me. So we went. I was so proud to hear him say that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T08:29:35.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18489" CreationDate="2015-09-14T08:43:14.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you play as well? My dad made me learn violin as a surrogate for him never having done it. I hated it and gave it up at 18 and didn't play another note until...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...when my kids reached primary school they joined the local brass band and I suddenly had this urge to play too. So they gave me a clarinet. So I had to take lessons and practice every day, and they saw this a a thing one just does. My daughter and I sometimes practiced together, we had a book of duets. If fact when she comes home we still go and play Mozart in the cellar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Professionals practice for several hours every day. Good musicians will practice every day. Hobby musicians might never practice except for in band practice. A beginner may not be able to play every day, their hands hurt. 10 minutes a day is better than nothing, but for a little kid 20 minutes every other day is better. Your kid has to want to play. Make sure the teacher gives him fun things, not just the most boring things Mozart every turned out on a bad day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T08:43:14.097" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12508" CreationDate="2015-09-14T09:59:54.180" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The keys of the regular acoustic piano are quite &quot;heavy&quot; that initially limits the duration of the lesson. I do not think that getting tired is dangerous but do not push on playing further if the child says she is tired after 20 or about minutes of playing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6521" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T09:59:54.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21607" CreationDate="2015-09-14T11:11:36.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually, to give you my point of view about this topic I will write a bit about the same 'problem' that happened to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a child, someone scratched me on my face (with his/her nail). Well, that happened when I was about 2yo, now I'm 18 and the scar remained on my face. It's not that you would immediately notice it but it is visible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that's just me and I suppose it depends even of the skin hardness and other things...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18927" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T11:11:36.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22047" CreationDate="2015-09-14T14:28:00.363" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are facing the same issue with our 18-month-old daughter.  It's difficult, but we try to follow the &lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Ellyn Satter division of responsibility in feeding&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Division of Responsibility for toddlers through adolescents:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The parent is responsible for &lt;strong&gt;what, when, where&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child is responsible for &lt;strong&gt;how much&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;whether&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like you, I hesitate before giving the third banana. For some reason it feels like one too many. I try to remember the division of responsibility and trust that my daughter, on the whole, will eat what she needs to eat when offered a variety of food choices at set meal times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bananas contain a lot of good stuff, like carbohydrates, minerals, and fiber. Too much of a good thing can of course become a bad thing, but it would be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.brainstuffshow.com/blog/can-you-die-from-eating-too-many-bananas/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;practically impossible to eat enough bananas to get potassium poisoning&lt;/a&gt; (for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main concern I can think of would be that she's filling up on bananas, and neglecting to eat other things that have necessary nutrients. Bananas contain no fat, for instance, which is definitely needed for toddlers' growth and brain development. I'm not a health professional, but our pediatrician told us that it's what she eats over the course of a week (or even a month), not at each specific meal, that matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T15:25:40.813" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22047" CreationDate="2015-09-14T14:33:47.553" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main concern with eating bananas is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/baby/health/constipation/foods-that-cause-and-relieve-constipation-in-babies/&quot;&gt;constipation&lt;/a&gt;.  Bananas are extremely sweet, and that can be somewhat dehydrating (which is the leading cause of constipation).  If they're eaten in an unripe state (a ripe banana is yellow with some brown speckles), they may also be harder to digest, as their starch content is higher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, how that affects your daughter will depend on, well, your daughter.  If she tends to hydrate well, and her bowels work pretty well, then she'll be fine - just pay attention to how her stools are 8-24 hours after she eats the bananas, and if it's a problem, cut back in the future.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she potty trains (if she hasn't already), you may want to avoid constipation more than usual for a while (as it can make it hard on the child when trying to go), but again that's going to be on a person by person basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I would make sure she's eating enough other foods.  As long as she is getting plenty of protein, green veggies, dairy/calcium, and the other things she needs, and the bananas aren't causing problems with her digestive tract, then I'd say go ahead and let her eat what she wants.  As Brusselssprout notes above, letting her pick how much to eat is the healthier way to go, so long as you give her a selection of healthy foods and make sure this isn't replacing her full meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do find it is replacing her full meal, then treat it like dessert or snack - only give it at times a few hours before the next meal.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T14:33:47.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22055" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-14T15:57:22.807" Score="4" ViewCount="156" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter, now ten, has been a fussy eater all her life. We did all the wrong things to encourage her to eat when she was a toddler, and likely exacerbated the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At pre-school age we tried all the things you're supposed to try. Doing the ten-tastes. Letting her help plan menus and cook. All that sort of stuff. It didn't help. The only thing we didn't try was letting her go hungry. We would encourage her - sometimes very firmly - to eat what she was given and she normally would with bad grace. On the rare occasions she really couldn't stand something, we would fix her a sandwich instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People told us she'd grow out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She hasn't grown out of it and is, in some respects, worse. There seems to be little rhyme or reason to what she dislikes. She likes cheese, but only quality mature Cheddar, and only cold unless it's in a cheese sauce - that's okay. She likes Mashed potato, Fries and chunky home made chips, but not medium-cut chips or baked potato.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her taste is varied enough to get a healthy diet, if she were to eat from a small menu of accepted dishes. We are unwilling to do this, as it would mean extra food prep, and would cause her siblings to complain she was getting preferential treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, while it isn't really a health problem, it causes two issues. First, we like to eat a lot of home-cooked food, and we're fed up with giving her things only to watch her face fall and her struggle her way through her meal, seeking distractions at every turn. Second, it is almost impossible to go out to eat, or to get a takeaway, as most outlets will not cater to her preferences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some will no doubt say we should be more patient and put up with it. She is, after all, just about getting sufficient varied nutrition. Perhaps we should. But that seems like giving up when it seems clear from the nonsensical nature of her preferences that they are purely psychological. So I'd like to know: is there anything else that can tried with older children  to help convince them to accept a more varied diet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7444" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T20:31:55.800" Title="Encouraging a more varied diet in fussy older children" Tags="|eating|diet|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22056" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22108" CreationDate="2015-09-14T17:00:57.183" Score="6" ViewCount="273" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife sometimes has to work 24 hours straight at least twice every three weeks, and it is very taxing on her, and she usually doesn't fully get back to norm until the weekend. She is a programmer, so work is very stressful and both physically and mentally draining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are planning to have a child soon, and I was wondering if there is any studies or anything saying that such a workload is bad for baby's health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was thinking of maybe convincing her to quit her job. The money will be very hard to come by in that scenario, but I want to make sure that our first child is as healthy as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2231" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-14T17:15:59.057" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T07:43:04.783" Title="Will a mother's crazy work hours affect child development in the womb?" Tags="|pregnancy|family-planning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22055" CreationDate="2015-09-14T18:29:07.393" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you gave her too much control in the beginning and now she's used to how things are/were.  She's old enough now to understand motivation and so just tell her how you made mistakes when she was younger and now you're changing the rules that are now in her best interest.  So part of that is to now putting things on her plate that are nutritious regardless of her preferences.  If they are compatible, then great.  But most likely it won't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to take the control away from her and put it back where it belongs - with the parent.  She will eat what you put down in front of her or she won't eat at all.  Those are her choices and as the parent, you're going to have to be the disciplined one to stick to it.  Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18973" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T18:29:07.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22059" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-14T19:35:39.720" Score="2" ViewCount="2161" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a disadvantage if the parents try to be very very silent when the baby is sleeping? For example making sure that TV and mobiles are muted, no dish or clothes washing is taking place and all conversations are being very silent even if they take place very far from the baby's room?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid that if the parents do this for a long time (e.g until baby is 2 years old) afterwards the child will be very easily woken up by noises. Does this theory hold?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3276" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T15:44:26.820" Title="possible disadvantages of being very silent when baby sleeps" Tags="|infant|sleep|noise|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22055" CreationDate="2015-09-14T20:31:55.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ten years old is old enough to learn how to cook, and as such I'd suggest that as the starting point for your approach to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not talking 'tuna surprise and PB&amp;amp;J', but help her learn the fundamentals of cooking, perhaps from a cooking school if you two don't have enough of a background to teach that.  Learn the fundamentals of preparation, how different ingredients are prepared, and how to prepare a complete meal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning to cook at this level serves several purposes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, it allows her to be involved in the meal preparation process.  This both means she can prepare meals, which mean she is herself responsible for any taste issues - but also she may begin to understand &lt;em&gt;how you feel&lt;/em&gt; when she acts like she is unhappy with your food.  It's also a great thing to learn for when she becomes an adult.  You can sit down with her and plan menus together - hopefully letting her do most of the planning, just occasionally reminding her about details like &quot;don't forget a vegetable side here&quot; and &quot;Yes, King Crab stuffed with Oysters sounds wonderful, but I don't have $100 for a dinner right now&quot;, once she's gotten used to doing it.  Nothing teaches like &lt;em&gt;doing&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, it allows her an &quot;out&quot; that is a fair one.  You prepare dinner, and let her know in advance what it is.  If she doesn't like it? She can prepare something of her own for herself - as long as you approve it from a nutritional point of view, and work out any cost issues (ie, if it's costing you more for food to do it this way, that comes out of her allowance in some way and/or she picks cheaper food items).  If she prepares enough for several meals, that can become leftovers for the &lt;em&gt;next&lt;/em&gt; time she has a problem with dinner, or for lunch, or whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, it may help her develop a better understanding of what she likes - and hopefully a much broader palate.  I wasn't a picky eater as a child, but I &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; have particular taste preferences that I didn't really understand.  I thought I hated onions, for example, to learn that I only disliked &lt;em&gt;raw&lt;/em&gt; onions; cooked onions are wonderful.  Learning technique involves a lot of learning how individual ingredients are cooked, and how they taste both uncooked and cooked.  When I made the effort to learn the art of cooking (so far self taught, but hopefully at some point in a more formal way), I learned a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; about my tastes, and am much more able to explain what I like and don't like - and learned to like many more things than I used to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if this is primarily a psychological issue, this should help significantly.  Not only will she have the tools to understand herself (if it's an unconscious one), but she won't have the excuse anymore.  Don't like what we cooked?  Fine, go make something yourself.  That's pretty hard to argue with, when you are capable of making something yourself perfectly well, and have sufficient ingredients and time for it.  I suspect you'll find that she starts complaining less about the food you make - or cooks more, one of the two - and everyone will be happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as far as restaurants, I would let her simply eat or not eat at her own discretion there.  Unless you're eating out all the time, one meal every so often of poor quality or quantity won't be the end of the world.  Enforce &quot;What&quot; rules - ie, no, you can't order ice cream for your entree - and let her work out how much, and if that amount is nothing, fine - don't worry about it.  She can make something when she gets home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside - while it's possible your child is &quot;just a picky eater&quot; whose problem is &quot;psychological&quot; in nature, I would resist making such assumptions entirely.  Some people are &quot;super tasters&quot;, capable of differentiating far more than most in terms of the taste of their food.  This can make them seem &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; picky, because they'll dislike certain tastes that you don't really notice - especially if they dislike foods that are fairly common.  Sulphur, for example, is a common &quot;ick&quot; among super tasters, and is present in a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of foods - onions, broccoli, cabbages, etc.  It's hard to say without knowing her and knowing more about her what exactly is going on here, but it's a bad idea to dismiss her feelings entirely (on any issue, but this one for sure) assuming it's a behavior problem and not something legitimate that she perhaps can't explain clearly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T20:31:55.800" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22059" CreationDate="2015-09-14T20:34:28.180" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A quick Google search revealed multiple articles on why NOT to be silent when a baby is sleeping. Most articles mention that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The womb is actually very noisy, in fact its louder than being in a room with a vacuum cleaner. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And learning to sleep in total silence can actually cause the child to wake easier at normal household noises such as the dishwasher or laughter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heres a blurb from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2012/June/Sleep-Deprived-Parents-Put-the-Baby-Myths-to-Bed/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Everybody thinks you've got to tip-toe around the baby sleeping but&#xA;  actually the womb, it's a dynamic world for babies,&quot; he continued.&#xA;  &quot;The sound inside is actually louder than a vacuum cleaner, 24-7. So&#xA;  to bring a baby into a quiet room is actually weird for them.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T20:34:28.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22062" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22068" CreationDate="2015-09-14T22:20:57.900" Score="6" ViewCount="3283" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4.5 year old son has begun to say things like &quot;I'm always a bad boy.&quot; and &quot;I don't like myself.&quot;  They only get said when there is already some upset happening, but I don't know whether that feeling or thought has anything to do with the source of the upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A little context - he probably has something like ADHD, and  watching his behavior, I often find myself wondering if he might have Aspberger's or something similar.  And for at least 60% of the time, he seems perfectly &quot;normal&quot; - he is sweet, intelligent, compassionate and enthusiastic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is hard to evaluate my own parenting, but I don't think either my wife or I are overly critical - closer to the opposite.  That said, for sure we have lost our temper with him and yelled at him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's possible that it's a manipulative thing, but I'm not sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any insight on &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;whether this is common?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if not - what should I do about it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in general, what is a good way to interact with this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7653" LastActivityDate="2017-03-21T05:21:52.820" Title="4.5yo - self-deprecating talk" Tags="|behavior|development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18990" CreationDate="2015-09-14T23:00:59.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The situation is too complex to offer a simple answer.  Any answer I gave as a definitive course of action would almost certainly misinterpret certain facts, and the response I will give certainly runs the risk of doing that anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other people gave you thoughtful, and pragmatic answers, that may suit you just fine, and may be the appropriate course of action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may never ever need to stand up to your dad.  That he calls you &quot;worthless&quot; is indicative to me that perhaps standing up to him will be an exercise in futility.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, that said, you will always have to live in your own skin.  In my experience, avoidance as a strategy tends to weigh on a person.  It isn't always the case, but your dad is far from the last difficult person you will have to interact with, and the muscle you will strengthen by summing up the courage to find a way to have a powerful conversation with your father will come in handy in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what it should look like, and I recommend you get interactive coaching from someone who knows you and ideally knows your father.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I applaud whatever you do, because I know you are in a difficult situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, try and do what will have integrity for you.  Fear is always temporary, but sometimes when you avoid confronting fear for too long, you end up turning the person you are afraid of into a monster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7653" LastActivityDate="2015-09-14T23:00:59.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-15T01:39:37.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are careers in music for non-musicians!  I have a friend who had no talent at all but he worked hard and though he will never be a great musician he IS good at giving lessons in technique and knowledge - which can be learned as a &lt;em&gt;skill&lt;/em&gt; as another answerer noted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider too that having performed music, even poorly, gives one an advantage in understanding it from a different perspective than by just listening to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This insight could lead to being a better producer, promoter or some other non-musician career in the industry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my perspective, if your child has a passion (that isn't harmful to himself or others) encourage it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9412" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T01:39:37.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22065" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-15T03:12:26.650" Score="9" ViewCount="2417" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a single mother of a very outgoing 4 1/2 year old. She has been in preschool since January.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the most part, she is a very well-behaved girl, but when she goes to school, there is nothing. She won't listen; she is disruptive; she talks back, hits, kicks, and throws things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she goes to a sitter, she is well behaved. I have been told by her sitters that she is a joy to have. I know she can be good at school; she has done it in the past, but it does not last.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are at the point of kicking her out. I am at my wits end. I have tried praising her when she has good days and grounding her from things when she has a bad day. When asked why she is acting this way it is always a different answer, but mostly that another kid does not like her. Nothing has changed within our family recently but it is getting worse and worse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18976" LastEditorUserId="17176" LastEditDate="2015-09-15T21:16:19.127" LastActivityDate="2016-12-06T05:57:40.763" Title="My 4 year old will not behave at school" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22065" CreationDate="2015-09-15T06:40:06.907" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your kid acts up only in preschool, then there is something which only happens there and that triggers this behaviour. This maybe the behaviour of a certain kid towards her (eg. someone calls her &quot;a baby&quot; and she hits back), but it can also be something about the surrounding, like a room with little personal space or daylight, etc. You should ask your preschool teacher to identify what happens just before she attacks another kid - Does she always go after the same kid? Is this more likely to happen at certain time of day (eg. before a meal, or after some kids already go home, etc)? Are there some things kids say which drive her crazy? Is there a certain toy or object over which they fight...? You should also ask the teacher (in a most friendly manner!) what do they do when this happens. Do they discipline her somehow or just let it pass or... - because whatever they're doing is obviously not helping the situation and it is their responsibility to make sure that no-one in the class gets hurt or violated in any way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, you should teach your kid a different response to taunting or provocation (eg. ignoring, telling the teacher, etc) and you should also teach her about how other people feel when we hit them. You may have already had these conversations with her, but 4 year olds need to hear things more that once before it sinks in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T06:40:06.907" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22062" CreationDate="2015-09-15T06:54:23.747" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Each time our kid would say that, we would stop whatever was the conversation and made a point out of explaining to him that he is not a bad kid. We'd say &quot;you're a good kid who only sometimes does something bad&quot;, thus shifting the focus from personality to behaviour. It seems it helped. He's 4.5 years old now and if he does something he shouldn't, he says things like &quot;that was a naughty thing to do&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T06:54:23.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18820" CreationDate="2015-09-15T07:00:02.823" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Painful moments and hard stools are the symptoms of baby’s constipation. Constipation is not common in breastfed babies; a change in the mother’s diet may lead to constipation in babies.  They will be sensitive to certain foods, this might result in constipation. So you should notice the behavior of your baby after having certain foods and figure out the foods that are causing allergic reaction and eliminate those foods from your diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your baby is 4 months, you can give him apple juice twice a day to soften the stools. Apple juice is the best remedy for baby’s constipation. Massage your baby’s tummy, help the stool to pass easily. Try these tips, if it doesn’t work out then make a visit to your paediatrician. Thank You!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T07:00:02.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3550" CreationDate="2015-09-15T09:33:36.963" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;By age 15 my bedtime was 9pm, it was advanced to 9.30pm at age 16, and at 18 moved to 10pm.  That was bedtime, I had to be home half-an-hour before that in order to bath etc.  The bedtime meant - bathed, pyjamas on, milk (cold) drunk, teeth cleaned, in bed and lights out.  At 21 my Parents said they wanted my back in the house by 10pm, but I could stay up to 11pm, and no later.  Mother went to bed at 9.30pm, and Dad at 10.30pm as long as I can remember.  When I was at school, the last half hour before bed was 'quiet time', reading a book.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So I think your Parents rules are sensible, you may be of &lt;strong&gt;legal&lt;/strong&gt; age, but from my experience many young people today are not mature due to remaining in education so long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18979" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T09:33:36.963" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22075" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-15T10:31:28.920" Score="5" ViewCount="969" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are the parents of an adopted girl who is now 12.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has several emotional problems.  In no particular order:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She prefers cakes and biscuits to meat and veg.  We suspect a sugar&#xA;addiction. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She has anger outbursts during which she tells us she&#xA;hates us and wishes us dead.  She becomes violent during these episodes and has hit and scratched us lots of times, leaving bruises and scars. The trigger is usually when we ask her to do something.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She has very poor&#xA;hygiene.  We cannot get her into a shower more than about once a&#xA;week, her body odour is a problem, and we have tried to make her&#xA;brush her teeth without success.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have asked Social Services to help us solve her problems, but all they seem to want to do is send us on another training course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions gratefully received, particularly with regard to the violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18980" LastEditorUserId="3670" LastEditDate="2015-10-01T22:01:28.797" LastActivityDate="2015-10-01T22:01:28.797" Title="How to help a 12 year old adopted girl with anger management?" Tags="|behavior|teen|adoption|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-15T12:35:01.893" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kid is nine.  It's expected that he will not be any good at that age.  Channel the enthusiasm, get a good instructor, and see where it goes.  Make sure that continued funding for professional instruction is conditional on serious study and discipline on the kid's part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7736" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T12:35:01.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22062" CreationDate="2015-09-15T12:36:15.783" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Somewhere along the line your son has gotten into the mindset of &quot;I can't do anything right. I'm always in trouble. Stupid stupid stupid..&quot; He probably sits in time out focusing on how he has screwed up, yet again... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was exactly this way as a child. Mine developed into more of a &quot;No one wants to be around me because I'm so horrible&quot; mindset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who knows where your son got it from. Perhaps someone, maybe not even you, said &quot;Your a bad boy, go to time out.&quot; or &quot;Why do you always _____.&quot; This kind of labeling, which is soooooo easy to do, can start the thought process on this negative path. Kids are so sensitive to everything they hear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a bit of a warning from an adult survivor of childhood negative self talk; it doesn't go away unless you correct it. Sure as an adult I don't sit and think &quot;I'm so stupid I cant do anything&quot; but I do have some heavy anxiety around embarrassing moments where my thougts are along the line of &quot;Why do I always screw something up. I really am just a spaz pretending to be professional...&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its the same negativity just all grown up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So after that depressing clip I want to say that - I really like @DadOfTwo 's answer. When you hear him say something like this, casually correct him as if he had just said the wrong answer to a math problem. &quot;Oh actually your behavior isn't you because you can change your behavior at any time. Maybe today you talk really fast but tomorrow you slow down. See you changed your behavior. That's why you can't be a 'Bad Boy', that's just silly.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that make sure you show him that whats in the past, is in the past. &quot;Remember that vase you broke last month? Not a big deal. Grandma actually bought me this new vase, and I wouldn't have gotten it if I still had the other one.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeling closure around events can help re-leave the past experiences of bad behavior so they aren't used as &quot;proof&quot; (in his own mind) of his badness. You can also try listing (or having him list) times where he was really good to help him remember those experiences a bit better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T12:36:15.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22059" CreationDate="2015-09-15T13:16:34.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I watched a documentary called &quot;The secret life of babies&quot;. They said that the mom's hearts in the womb sound at 80 dB (very noisy). They show also a baby peacefully sleeping in a car with a noisy motor.&#xA;One of the best advices I've received is: &quot;The baby gets used to the home, no the home to the baby&quot;. Do a normal life around him/her, it's the best...in the future you can vacuum around him/her sleeping without problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17522" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T13:16:34.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22079" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-15T14:05:35.910" Score="3" ViewCount="199" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is scared to sleep alone, even when I am sitting near the bedroom door.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is scared to go to the bathroom (keeps door open). She needs my company in public bathrooms. I must stand near the door.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She wants house main door open while she is riding the bike outside. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Movies - She even cries if there are fighting scenes in animated movies. For example, Madagascar, Frozen etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Other than that, she is good at studies, plays with friends and is a great helper in class to other kids with work.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We as parents keep telling her there is nothing and we are always there for her. But it's been like this for many years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18971" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-31T20:32:19.397" LastActivityDate="2018-08-31T20:32:19.397" Title="How to help 2nd grade daughter who is afraid of many things?" Tags="|primary-schooler|fears|coping|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22079" CreationDate="2015-09-15T18:40:44.523" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;For us, familiarity and gentle persistence was the key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was 4-1/2 when we adopted him from China.  He had never slept alone in his life.  He couldn't tolerate being in a room alone.  He was terrified of animals.  We have a video of him at about five; a tail wagging golden retriever wanders close to him as he and his dad are playing on the front lawn, and when he sees the dog he practically levitates up his dad's leg into his arms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first we let him sleep in the same bed with his 6 year old sister.  Then we moved him to a bunk bed above hers.  He didn't want to go, and we let him do &quot;sleepovers&quot; with her on weekends, but we insisted that he needed to be in his own bed.  We didn't scold him for being afraid, but we told him he needed to be a big boy.  Then we had the house remodeled and added a bedroom for each child.  He didn't want to move to his own room but we tried to show him the benefits.  Again, we let him do sleepovers in the bottom bunk of her bed on weekends.  Now, at age 12, he's finally decided he likes having his own space, though he still won't close the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's gotten to the point where he will (reluctantly) tolerate the door being mostly closed when he uses the bathroom or takes a shower, but he never &quot;remembers&quot; to close the door on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first he was terrified of all animals (he literally ran away from a kitten at a birthday party, screaming).  We got a German Shepherd puppy and by the time she had grown into a 90 lb dog he was fearlessly rolling about and playing with her.  We rescued a kitten from a shelter and now he plays with the cat.  He doesn't like animals whose species he hasn't been exposed to, but familiarity seems to be the key to reducing his fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried to strike a balance between supporting him and pushing him toward independence.  Try giving little pushes and being very calm about the fact that she is afraid.  Everyone has things they are afraid of but we all try to move toward independence from those fears.  For some it takes longer.  Don't rush her, but don't let her stall.  Give her night lights and soft music as companions in her room instead of your presence.  As she rides her bike try making little excuses to leave for a minute, then make the time stretch out longer and longer.  Once she learns that nothing bad is going to happen when you are not there, she will grow more accustomed to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were some good suggestions about dealing with childhood fears at &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/anxiety.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;KidsHealth: Anxiety, Fears, and Phobias&lt;/a&gt;.  I especially liked that they mentioned &quot;don't cater to fears&quot;, as in if the child is afraid of dogs don't cross the street to avoid them.  That only reinforces the idea that there is something to be afraid of.  Safe, supported exposure to the subject of your fears is something that normally works for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, that having been said, there are some cases where safe exposure just isn't enough.  If you've tried &quot;normal&quot; methods for dealing with childhood fears and it either isn't working or your child's fears are getting worse, it may be time to get some help from a professional.  Especially if you have no idea where your child's fears came form (you didn't mention anything about that).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were pretty sure we knew or could guess at the source of our son's fears.  Lack of familiarity was the root cause of most of them.  In a Chinese orphanage nobody sleeps alone (sometimes 3 to a bed) and animals are food, not pets.  Even puppies and kittens.  And they didn't have many doors in their building.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-15T18:53:43.410" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T18:53:43.410" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22083" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22109" CreationDate="2015-09-15T19:00:12.450" Score="1" ViewCount="185" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has been doing ballet for the past few years and may have the opportunity to be in the Nutcracker with a major ballet group. Auditions are coming up this weekend.  She has been in the ballet training program for some time so it is likely that she will get in (however it is not assured).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This weekend a friend came up to me and said that he is taking most of her class to a Taylor Swift concert in a suite and would she like to go with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This concert will directly interfere with a practice session.  They are pretty big sticklers on that one must attend all of the practices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So right now I am weighing what to do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Taylor Swift thing is a once in a lifetime thing because of the suite with all of her friends. However it is a one time thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Nutcracker is something that would be more beneficial for her. Plus it would be a great experience. However if she doesn't do it this year, she can next year as well (assuming all things are equal). Plus because of her age it would be a minor role (angel, or rat).  There will be consequences with picking this because her friends will be talking about the great concert that she didn't go to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adding more details:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 9&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure how big of a deal missing one practice would be, but I am going to ask.  Guessing by the big read underline on the audition form that said that attendance is mandatory that it is mandatory. Maybe for a small role they can make an exception.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It isn't a school thing, it is a major city production thing.  So I would have to ask the production manager about a exception.  It is my first time doing this, so I don't know how they would react to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently the parent that offered this doesn't want us to tell the kids till he talks to all of the parents.  All of the kids are in the same class, so it would spread pretty quickly. However I have tried to discuss that there is a one time big event going on verses the nutcracker.  She is kind of on the fence.  Of course she said that she would rather go to something that was like a Taylor Swift concert and she could do the Nutcracker next year.  However, I wonder if she really is comprehending the pluses and minuses of each.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18988" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2015-09-18T12:19:07.997" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T15:47:09.757" Title="How to choose between one activity vs another?" Tags="|primary-schooler|life-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22075" CreationDate="2015-09-15T19:04:15.130" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In all likelihood, she was exposed to some kind of abuse before she was put up for adoption (unless you adopted her as a newborn?).  And even if she was adopted as a baby, as she becomes old enough to comprehend that her birth family &quot;gave her away&quot; she will have issues to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because both our children were adopted my husband and I have read a lot of the books and stories that explain how it feels to be an adopted child.  All of them eventually have to deal with this basic anger/insecurity.  They ask &quot;why didn't they want me?&quot;  Sometimes they will react with violence against those who love them, and it may be that in doing so your daughter is asking you to prove that you will love her &quot;no matter what&quot;.  That &quot;no matter what&quot; expresses a fear that is at the heart of each adopted child's psyche.  They were &quot;discarded&quot; once; what is to say that you won't do the same?  So they behave badly because if they are going to lose you they want to get it over with.  Their anger is fueled by terror.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd really recommend that you 1. read some books written by others who have gone through what you and your daughter are going through (do some research on a rated system like Amazon to find books that others found helpful, be sure to read the reviews to find out &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they liked it), and 2. find a good counselor.  The physical attacks need to be addresses immediately and you may need some support in order to deal with them in a positive and effective way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting back to the subject of abuse (and forgive me if you adopted her as a newborn so this isn't relevant), one thing I know from living through an abusive childhood and spending several years as a counselor for adults from abusive homes, is that all abused children have a huge well of anger in them.  It doesn't matter what kind of abuse it was; the anger seems to be a constant.  And the degree of anger doesn't necessarily depend on the level of abuse.  Different people are more or less disposed to anger.  I've had years of therapy and I openly tell people I'd be a terrible human being today if I hadn't had good counseling.  Abused children don't have a roadmap which will take them to good destinations.  The places theirs take them to are places you don't want your children to end up in.  They need to be given a new map and guided down that better path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2015-09-15T19:13:20.760" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T19:13:20.760" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22085" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22030" CreationDate="2015-09-15T23:40:33.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many of the answers provide purely inspirational answers, which have value.  Children are our future!  However, there is a reality that we selfishly expect more out of our life than to be slaves to our children.  I mean really!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you have a balance of desires.  The child is passionate about music, but you are not confident the world will be kind to their musical skills.  You want the child to be happy in the long run (potentially longer than they are even aware of at age 9... not many really understand what it means to hold a musician's job!).  And then there's the short term issue of the racket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short term part has the easy solution, as mentioned, of getting the kid to prefer an electric instrument, with headphones.  However, that still doesn't resolve the long term issue of letting a child go down the wrong path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But is it the wrong path?  If there was ever a way to tell the right path from the wrong path, I'm sure it'd appear in a parenting book.  Judging by the scathing reviews on Amazon, no parenting book has this magic tip in it yet, so I'm assuming no one has written a way.  I don't expect to either.  You'll have to find your own solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there is a reasonable solution which you can fall back on if you haven't figured out any better solution: a dose of reality... for both of you.  Let's just focus on the long term bits (you can suck up the short term issue of cleaning up lizards off the floor, or convince them to do the electric instruments).  Your positions are different enough that they're not polar opposites... just really really far apart:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child is passionate about music, and wants to continue further.  Arguably the child wants to spend their life doing music (even if their concept of what that means is a bit shortsighted at the ripe age of 9)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You believe you understand what music is good and what is bad, and you believe the child will be unhappy in the future because the world will not appreciate their music, and the child will have spent their formative years &quot;wasting&quot; their time on that dad-gum instrument!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best solution is to find a win-win, so that the child can continue being passionate.  You really don't want to snuff that out.  Failing to do so, you can always fall back on testing both of your positions.  Convince the child that, if they want to continue down the musician path, they should experience more of the reality that they are entering (you know, that reality we always shelter our children from!).  The child needs to pony up, and test their desire of musicianhood against their actual abilities.  Find a way to build a game where they have to use their musical skills to &quot;make a living.&quot;  This could be as literal as throwing the kid on a street-corner to play their instrument for tips, or it could be a more intellectual game.  Perhaps you think their sense of tempo is obnoxious.  Build an objective game where they are rewarded for playing in tempo (perhaps as literally as &quot;you can use the amplifier rather than the headphones for 2 minutes for every tempo exercise that you pass&quot;).  Let them have to work for their passion, and see if music really is their passion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is where the key is.  &lt;strong&gt;If music really is their passion, it won't matter a lick of difference to them whether others like their work or not.&lt;/strong&gt;  They'll live the life on a street corner, playing for tips, absolutely content that they actually got to live the life they wanted to live (&lt;em&gt;how many get the privilege to claim that!&lt;/em&gt;).  If it turns out that they value other things more, they'll learn that maybe music isn't really their passion, and you can sigh with relief at the blessed silence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you do your job &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; well as parents, you'll find a way to dislodge a child's misguided passion for music without killing their passion in the process.  It's really quite a skill, dislodging a passion without killing the underlying passion that drives the person.  Most of us are really bad at it.  We could kill the passion in a lizard as we try to convince it that it's really bad at climbing walls!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On that topic, how passionate are you about being parents?  These sorts of &quot;put your money where your mouth is&quot; arguments also work for bettering ourselves, if we decide they are rational enough to give them a shot (feel free to argue they're not rational!  I don't mind!).  You could challenge yourself to really pony up and try to show your passion for parenting.  Develop games like &quot;deal with 30 minutes of ear splitting racket to earn unlimited access to the bottle of wine/beer after 9:00.&quot;  Along the way, you just might accidentally figure something out to help you work with your child on their passions.  You never know. As always, use your own judgement in your own life; I'm just an anonymous voice on the internet.  What do I know about you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lizards off the wall?  Really?  I bet that could make a killer reality TV show!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2015-09-15T23:40:33.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22087" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22092" CreationDate="2015-09-16T04:07:22.820" Score="10" ViewCount="2958" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our family has just combined and moved to a new town a month ago. We have three children, a 13 year old boy and 10 and 9 year old girls. The 9 year old is my daughter and the 13 and 10 year olds are my girlfriend's. The kids have been pretty quick to make friends in the new neighborhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before we moved, we lived in separate apartment complexes and our children went to different schools and had different pools of friends. Our 9-year old was invited to many of her friends birthdays -- 2 or 3 each month. Our 10-year old was invited to 3 in the last year. Each time the younger was invited to a party, the older would feel crushed, but we would explain that they both have different groups of friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, one of their new friends delivered a birthday slumber party invitation which was addressed to only the 9-year old. This is a friend that both girls play equally with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parents what should we do? We're not certain if it was simply an oversight, but that doesn't seem likely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18994" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2015-09-17T11:53:20.797" LastActivityDate="2017-06-04T18:27:27.403" Title="One of two children invited to a mutual friends birthday party" Tags="|siblings|friends|birthday|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22088" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22096" CreationDate="2015-09-16T09:51:11.397" Score="42" ViewCount="10869" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been the foster father to my girlfriends child for nearly three years now. He's eight years old, born late in the year, so he is the youngest in his class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they moved in with me (2+ years ago), they changed cities and he had to change schools. He went from a small-town school with small classes to a large school with large classes and a lot of homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While his homework is not by any means excessive, for the last few weeks he has spent nearly the entire evening on it.&#xA;He is spending hours on math tasks.&#xA;Think:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;580 + 224 - 305 =&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  328 - 200 + 50 =&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will often just write down a clearly false answer, in the hopes of ending the homework early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;580 + 224 - 305 = 524&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I catch this every time, and every time he has to start over and write down each step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when it comes to writing tasks they end up extremely sloppy and often with clear errors, mostly letters missing from the end of a word and extremely sloppy hand-writing that stands in stark contrast to his writing in class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example (translated from Dutch):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The baby was cryin.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  The man was singin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will then go on a rant, putting his hands to his ears and saying he's &lt;em&gt;not smart enough&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;can't ever do it&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;just too dumb&lt;/em&gt;. Which can last an hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've taken to ignoring these rants and, letting him remain at his desk until the job is either done, or I feel like it's been too long since any reaction, and I go to ask if he requires help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he needs help I make a new exercise, not one on the paper, and we do this one together, after which he has to do the rest himself. In extreme cases if he can't seem to calm down, we go for a walk, I ask him questions, we talk about cartoons, and when we get back home he goes back to his homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the homework is rarely done in its entirety. On some days his homework is half done, and he's been at his desk until bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how to handle this, as my current method has not helped. We're two weeks in and if anything he seems &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; aggravated by having to sit at his desk all evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18997" LastEditorUserId="7915" LastEditDate="2015-09-18T01:02:54.773" LastActivityDate="2015-09-26T14:30:03.860" Title="8-year-old son keeps claiming he's not smart enough to do his homework" Tags="|homework|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22062" CreationDate="2015-09-16T11:05:53.687" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to add to the other answers, that you may want to think about that there may be a rolemodel for this behaviour. It is propably a person your child is very close to and the person is propably doing it unconsiously.&#xA;As a child I experienced this with my mother. Even if she cooked a feast she always said that it is &quot;nothing special&quot; and that she could have done better. Since she praised me quite subtle (subtle for the child that I was), only the critique really stuck in my mind. This way I kind of learnd not to be proud of myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my advice from my own experience is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;check if you or someone else is behaving like that&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make a list of things he can be proud of (even let he himself draw it and hang it on a very visible place) and remaind him constantly if you have the feeling he is not seeing his good sites&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you praise - be very clear about it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this goes on for a longer period be not afraid to consult a therapist. The therapist can give your son the tools to grow into a healthy person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17126" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T11:05:53.687" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21963" CreationDate="2015-09-16T12:18:44.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds familiar... :) Here are some things we did which helped us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making sure we go outdoor at any given opportunity (you're already doing&#xA;that, I see) because he can use all his energy and then behave at&#xA;home &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;enrol him in sports at least during autumn/winter. In our town some places offer sport &quot;classes&quot; for 3-4 year old kids where they mostly run, jump and play,&#xA;but also learn to respect each other and the trainer; we had to change three places until we found the trainer with the right approach (neither too strict nor to lax for him), but he's learned a lot from the trainer and the other kids and he's loving it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we altered our working hours somewhat so he doesn't have to stay that long in the kindergarten (my workplace is more flexible, so I start working earlier), because in the kindergarten he rarely gets to play outside&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;watching cartoons soon after waking up and before going to bed for about 15-20 minutes. This helps him wake up / wind down. We only play cartoons we choose previously from Youtube, because TV often might air shows we don't approve of.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a note on saying &quot;sorry&quot;... We had been teaching him to apologise when he does something bad and then he realized that he can mollify us easily when he says &quot;sorry&quot;, so he developed this pattern where he would do something bad, say &quot;sorry&quot;, make a sad face and then do it again in half an hour, shoot another sad &quot;sorry&quot; at us and keep doing it... So we had to re-introduce timeouts even when he apologises for the act, to make sure he remembers he shouldn't do these things outside of playing with me. It worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T12:18:44.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22087" CreationDate="2015-09-16T12:20:24.833" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;At a slumber party, the number of attendees is usually more restricted than otherwise — there is a bit less space, a longer time commitment for the hosts, and the amount of noise generated by guests seems to increases exponentially instead of arithmetically... especially at 2am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible that the age difference played some part in the decision; perhaps the parents only considered inviting 4th graders and didn't consider the older friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, it's possible that it was an oversight — or even that the mother assumed that by inviting [NineYearOld] you'd know [TenYearOld] was implicitly invited as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As parents of the girls, you have three choices:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let the younger daughter attend and deal with the emotional fallout.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Decide that the party isn't worth it. (There may already be hurt feelings at not &lt;em&gt;being invited&lt;/em&gt;, but less than if one daughter goes and the other doesn't.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Politely decline the invitation without extensive explanation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, [NineYearOld] won't be able to attend [Friend]'s party. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make an effort to have both your daughters included. While you could simply show up with both, that's not really polite (and risks [TenYearOld] being turned away at the door of the party, a bigger hurt than not going in the first place). The best approach is to discuss it with the other parent(s) beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[NineYearOld] is excited about [Friend]'s slumber party. We wanted to&#xA;  check whether [TenYearOld] was also invited?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then you get an explanation: &lt;em&gt;of course, it was an oversight!&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;of course she can come too!&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;sorry but we had to limit it to N guests!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that point you've either got both girls attending, or you're back to choosing between 1 and 2. (Probably best to have in mind which approach you'll take before initiating the conversation.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdote: I actually did get asked once whether a slightly-older sibling could come along to a slumber party. In that case it wasn't a girl that my daughter knew as well as the invited guest, but we didn't mind. (I was a bit surprised, but not really offended.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T12:20:24.833" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22088" CreationDate="2015-09-16T13:27:51.733" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had similar issues when I was growing up. Let's break this down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is affable and well-liked by his teachers - so it's not a behavioral issue. With increases in homework, it's possible that your son is getting stressed by his increased workload. John's mention of forgetting terms and shortcuts over the summer months is also probable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help him by compartmentalizing his work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Split his work into their individual subjects, instead of all together in a clump.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have him work on his weakest subject first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In school, consider getting him a daily organizer for writing down his assignments. This helps him see how much work he actually has. It's actually much smaller than he thinks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Encourage him as he solves problems and actually finishes work on time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have him take a break every so often. Get him to stand up and walk around for a bit if he's getting frustrated. A break away from the desk can be mentally refreshing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also mentioned that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;his writing is sloppy and he often misses letters&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is a recent development, it could be something to investigate further with a teacher or specialist. This also loops back to your original issue. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Can he read/understand his own notes? Is he having difficulty reading the words of the math equations in his workbook?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17510" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T13:27:51.733" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22088" CreationDate="2015-09-16T13:37:23.730" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;By any chance do you normally praise him for being smart when he succeeds at something? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/praise-and-intelligence.html&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com/praise-and-intelligence.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids1/&quot;&gt;http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids1/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion the 2 articles above go a little beyond what the evidence supports in their claims but certain types of praise can have odd effects. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When you praise kids for their intelligence, they learn to view their failures as evidence of stupidity&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In the experiments by Mueller and Dweck, kids were given moderately&#xA;  difficult problems to solve. When each kid was finished, he was told&#xA;  “Wow, you did really well on these problems. You got….a really high&#xA;  score” (Mueller and Dweck 2002).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In addition, each kid received one of three treatments. He was either&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• praised for his intelligence (“You must be smart at these problems”)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• praised for his effort (“You must have worked hard at these&#xA;  problems”),&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;• given no additional feedback (the control condition)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Next, kids were given a second set of problems—this time, very&#xA;  difficult ones[that the kids would certainly not be able to do]—and kids were asked to explain why they performed&#xA;  poorly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The kids who had been praised for their intelligence on previous tasks&#xA;  attributed more of their failure to a lack of intelligence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They were also more likely to give up faster once they'd found something beyond their ability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He might be a bright kid who's learned to believe that success is due to innate ability hence once he hits things he can't breeze through he attributes it to his own stupidity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he succeeds do you say &quot;You must be so smart!&quot; or something like &quot;You must have worked really hard!&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9011" LastEditorUserId="9011" LastEditDate="2015-09-16T13:42:42.610" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T13:42:42.610" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22088" CreationDate="2015-09-16T14:10:23.497" Score="37" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consider the possibility of a learning disability, ADHD, or other obstacle that's interfering with his ability to either learn the material or express his knowledge. The issue may be a lot bigger than struggling with homework, and it's common for such children to see themselves as stupid or dumb — they know they're behind their classmates, and this leads to a self-reinforcing idea that they &amp;quot;can't ever do it&amp;quot;. Long-term interventions such as tutoring, altered workloads, and so on can be more easily put in place if there's a professional diagnosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Regardless of whether you pursue that investigation or what the results are, you still need an plan for &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; that can help make homework manageable.&lt;/strong&gt; Spending hours on third or fourth grade homework is not typical, and I don't think it is what the teacher intends, either. When homework is this difficult, it becomes a time sink for everybody in the family: your son is stuck at his desk all evening, and you're working with both his academic struggle and his personal frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have a snack and break before homework starts.&lt;/strong&gt; School is a long period of behaving nicely and sitting still. And since lunch was at least a few hours ago, kids are typically really hungry. That's not a good state of mind to try to focus on More Work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best type of snack and break is found through experimentation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider &lt;em&gt;what sort&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;how long&lt;/em&gt; of a break works best. If my son plays a video game before he starts on homework, his performance is radically worse. Something physical (even just running in circles outside) makes a big difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also think about the type of snack. If he has pure carbs (e.g. a bagel) without any protein (e.g. a smear of peanut butter), he tends to fidget a lot more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stay nearby while he's working.&lt;/strong&gt; This depends a bit on the child; sometimes they don't want supervision or assistance, or may even be frustrated with the parent that is making them do work. However, there are some advantages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you can notice quickly that he's working poorly, it's easier to stop early than it is to have to redo the entire assignment. Reread the instructions, restate your and the teacher's expectations (tidy handwriting, attention to work), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he has questions, he can easily ask rather than needing to go find you (or guess).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Just having company can be a comfort when doing something stressful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Watch closely for exhaustion and frustration, and redirect as needed.&lt;/strong&gt; Doing his homework when sad/angry isn't productive. You mention that you take walks together; that's a great idea. Find other, perhaps smaller/shorter, things that you can do that distract him (working on dinner preparation, playing with toys, random housework or repairs, cleaning).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take small breaks between assignments, or even within assignments.&lt;/strong&gt; A pile of homework can be overwhelming. A collection of shorter tasks, and a plan to finish, is much more achievable. (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/22094/4054&quot;&gt;This answer covers that nicely&lt;/a&gt;, so I digress.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Praise his effort, and redirect self-demeaning statements.&lt;/strong&gt; Putting in so many hours for what feels like so little result is a lot of work, emotionally and physically and mentally. When he cries that he's stupid, come back with &lt;em&gt;You're not. I can tell you're having a hard time, and I'm proud of you for working so hard. I'm here to help you get through it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consider a reward system&lt;/strong&gt;, both short-term (&lt;em&gt;when you're done you can watch cartoons&lt;/em&gt;) and long-term (&lt;em&gt;if you finish your homework for five days straight, you can get a new book&lt;/em&gt;). Any incentives like &amp;quot;this helps you learn&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;your teacher says you have to&amp;quot; are too abstract.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep asking for dialogue with his teacher.&lt;/strong&gt; You mentioned &amp;quot;when we asked about how well he does we were deflected with a response about how nice he is&amp;quot; — At only two weeks into the school year, that may be all she &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; know about him (he's nice to classmates and isn't causing trouble). She may not see the same stress, crying, and anger that you do at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show that you support your son and you are concerned, about both his lack of content mastery &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; about the impact on his self-esteem. Despite the opinion of most school-age children, teachers assign homework for practice, not torture. If that homework isn't being done (or done well), then it isn't achieving its goal and hopefully she can work with you to figure out what isn't working and how it can be adjusted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T14:10:23.497" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22059" CreationDate="2015-09-16T15:44:26.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You would be conditioning the baby to require absolute silence to stay asleep after enough time. They are born with the habit of sleeping with lots of noise in the womb. It is understandable that parents would not want to risk waking up a baby, but remember that you are changing what they are accustomed to when you do this. Also, long-term effects, it's typically easier to find an environment with ambient noise and periodic disturbances than it is to find absolute silence -- picture their sleep conditions when they go to college or get their first apartment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18989" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T15:44:26.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22098" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-09-16T17:23:20.360" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-16T17:23:20.360" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T17:23:20.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22099" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-09-16T17:23:20.360" Score="0" Body="An annual celebration or recognition of the date a child was born." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-16T17:23:20.360" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T17:23:20.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22102" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-16T18:26:19.927" Score="3" ViewCount="200" Body="&lt;p&gt;My lg is 20 months and she has started waking about 1-2 hours after I put her down for the night. She cries, not frantically, but every 30 seconds or so, which escalates until she is crying constantly. I then go to her but end up having to bring her back down stairs with me. She then starts playing and is as happy as Larry. It ends up with me having to go to bed and let her sleep with me otherwise she can be awake and happy until 11pm. Even when I put her in my bed with me she messes about for ages.&#xA;She has one nap for 1-1.5hrs usually around 11am (sometimes it's hard to get to 11am since she crashes badly in the morning). She goes to bed between 6-7pm. She always lets me know when she wants to go and so I take her up and 99% of the time she goes to sleep without a problem..... Until the crying starts. &#xA;It's happening more and more often and I don't know what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19003" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T18:43:55.673" Title="Toddler waking after going to bed." Tags="|toddler|sleep|crying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22088" CreationDate="2015-09-16T20:00:49.330" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am retired now and have had two distinct successful careers. However I went through a lot of problems educationally.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For several years (under the age of 9) I was short-sighted but undiagnosed. Whenever there was a school sight test I would go close to the chart and memorise it so that when it was my turn, I could pass. During class I would regularly walk to the front and sharpen my pencil over the waste-bin in order to read what was written on the board. I just didn't want to wear glasses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestion - get all the relevant tests done. Sight, hearing, and anything else that could physically cause a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;From the age of twelve onwards, I rarely if ever did my homework. I used to take the books home with every intention of doing it but couldn't find the self-discipline. Either I copied from other students or got low marks. I would even read the wrong chapter in a book out of interest but not read the chapter that had been set by the teacher. I wasn't consciously rebelling. I still don't understand what stopped me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possible solution (time consuming)  - The biggest hurdle with any work is getting started. Spend time together working through the reading or examples until there is some momentum. Then gradually disconnect as the work progresses but be prepared to join in again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;3&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My father used to make me sit at my desk - I got to the point that I could sit there for hours without doing anything. When he checked I would either pretend to work or simply not even fake any activity. He got incredibly frustrated but it made no difference. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll finish by saying that I barely passed my exams, got a boring job in insurance which I hated and got so fed up with it that I found my own motivation to take guitar lessons. Eventually I went to music college and became a professor. Later I changed to computing, took a degree part-time while working and got a first class honours degree. The motivation was mine and not imposed on me by anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my guess is that either there is a physical or intellectual problem that can be diagnosed or you have someone who needs to find their own motivation rather than being constantly pushed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, this may be a non-academic person who will go on to make a lot of money by starting a business and successfully manage others to do the trivial stuff like writing nicely and adding up numbers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17787" LastEditorUserId="17787" LastEditDate="2015-09-16T21:04:35.947" LastActivityDate="2015-09-16T21:04:35.947" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22088" CreationDate="2015-09-17T02:13:19.680" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guess is that he might be feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work that he needs to do. He feels that theres so much there is no possible way to do it all (at least not correctly, not step by step - not the &quot;slow&quot; way) in the time he has remaining. Thats why working until bed time provides him with a sense of relief. He is able to tell himself that he really spent his entire time on the homework - so there is nothing more he could do about it. Which is a good thing, because it seems that he really wants to do everything he can to fix it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I would try first is acknowledge his feelings. That way he would know that you understand. This should lessen his burden. Even simply telling the above paragraph to him might help (in the form of questions e.g.: &quot;You're feeling so overwhelmed from this homework, aren't you? It feels like there is no way to do it on time... etc&quot;). He might also say something more and correct you if the assumption is wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By acknowledging I don't also mean accepting the status quo. You could empathetically state that his solution isn't acceptable, e.g. &quot;It really sucks that it doesn't seem to help get the homework done. Lets try and come up with a solution that works...&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could even ask him what ideas he has to solve this problem, and write them all down (without commenting on them, even if they look silly / ridiculous). This should help assure him that you're taking his troubles seriously. It might also uncover some more reasons why he is doing what he does - especially his suggestions for solutions that seem unorthodox may give you a clue as to whats the underlying cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The above should help and is loosely based on &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1451663889&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this book about talking to children&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below this is just a guess about the reasons and one possible idea you could try - but like any guess it could be completely wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you're saying, it seems like reason he needs a lot of time isn't because of the homework - its because he spends most of his energy being terrified that there is not enough time to do the work. This results with an endless cycle (why do I need so much time? because I'm stupid thats why!) resulting with more time spent worrying and even more feelings of inadequacy and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is to do an activity together that requires a LOT of repetitive hard work. Building a large Lego castle together, &quot;brick by brick&quot; or putting together a puzzle with lots and lots of pieces. The first one might be better if the castle looks huge (if the first reaction is &quot;wow this will take ages to build&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That should help him instil a &quot;brick by brick&quot; mentality to doing the work. Hopefully afterwards he will know that no matter how much work there is &quot;brick by brick&quot; will get him there soon; and that he'll get better at &quot;brick laying&quot; from  the repetition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would avoid mentioning that this is related to the homework though, other than maybe using the catch phrase &quot;brick by brick&quot; in both contexts. The more subtle the connection is, the better chance that he gets that &quot;aha!&quot; moment which commits the connection to memory strongly for use at a later time when a frustration arises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19005" LastEditorUserId="19005" LastEditDate="2015-09-26T14:30:03.860" LastActivityDate="2015-09-26T14:30:03.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22088" CreationDate="2015-09-17T04:06:57.843" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The primary barrier I've found having come through public schooling was: no grounding, of any kind, on the subject of &lt;em&gt;study&lt;/em&gt;. Through my tenure in school I was not only never shown any fundamentals of how to study, in fact I was dissuaded by teachers and others from study tools, e.g. a dictionary, and instead given thorough instruction on how to take tests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best coverage of the topic of study I've found was in L. Ron Hubbard's &quot;Study Technology&quot;. Major points it covers are referred to as &lt;em&gt;Barriers to Study&lt;/em&gt;. They are in brief:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lack of Mass (Physical Object) of What is Being Studied &#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If one is attempting to understand the function and operation of a car or a computer or a solar system, the printed page and spoken word are no substitute for the object itself.&#xA;  It would be difficult to understand how to use a computer for the first time if you did not have the computer there in front of you. In fact, lacking the object associated with a word can inhibit all understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Too Steep a Study Gradient &#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A gradient is a way of learning or doing something step by step. A gradient can be easy where each step can be done easily, or it can be hard where each step is difficult to do.&#xA;  Too steep a gradient consists of &lt;strong&gt;not having mastered prior skills&lt;/strong&gt; before going on to more complicated or detailed steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A Word Not Understood or Wrongly Understood&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“Mis” means not or wrongly. “Misunderstood” means not understood or wrongly understood. A misunderstood word is a word which is not understood or a word which is wrongly understood. ...The misunderstood word can stop a student in his tracks completely. Knowing how to determine when there is a misunderstood word or symbol, how to find it and how to handle it are critical to the success of any student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's a real high overview, it is covered in more detail on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.appliedscholastics.org/study-tech/a-breakthrough-in-learning.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Applied Scholastics&lt;/a&gt; web site. There is also an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scientology.org/courses/study/overview.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;online course&lt;/a&gt; offered by the Church of Scientology, though strictly on the subject of study, the video is helpful and as of yet the Applied Scholastics site seems to be only in English while this is more languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19008" LastEditorUserId="19008" LastEditDate="2015-09-17T18:43:47.900" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T18:43:47.900" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22088" CreationDate="2015-09-17T07:22:39.177" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Trying to resolve stupid C programming problem re. hashing.  Taking a break and saw this.  Brought back memories.  I hated school/hated homework/detested being forced to work at stuff that others wanted me to do.  Really hated school. Never did more than bare minimum, but then I discovered I could study in a library, and read what I wanted.  Was a joy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read everything.  Teachers would give me stupid childrens books, but when they left, I would find the advanced science section and just read stuff.  This is a good teaching algo.  Tell the kid the library is a dangerous and forbidden place, then let him go there.  Here is idea for you.  I recall my mom bought me flash-cards, and she sat with me until I was able to learn/memorise the multiplication table.  At the time, I recall being very surprised that I could actually automatically memorize all these number combos. Honestly didn't believe I could do it.  I thought it would take months, took about 1 or two nights.  So I could do it, it was big revelation.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is idea:  Work very carefully, using rewards of some kind, to show 8-year-old son the algorithms for doing the homework - the specific steps that one has to follow to get it done.  Kids don't know this - they don't know the algo for studying and learning new stuff.  Some don't even know they can memorize (which, actually, you can - quite a lot actually - there are teachable tricks to memory work).  For example, if he has to add some big numbers together, make sure he understands the process for breaking them down in to little, easy to add numbers, and then putting them back together again.   I remember being kicked out of class for talking and missing where they taught the process for long division.  Annoyed me for years.  I just missed it.  Finally, got some other student to show me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For adults, so much of what we do is automatic, we have trouble recalling how and when we learned it.  I am perhaps a bit of an outlier, as I recall exactly, and specifically, how and where I learned just about every key thing.  Each was a big surprise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember learning how to study and pass exams.  Also thought I was just too stupid to do it.  I just didn't know the algo.  Teach the kid to write down stuff, and show him how it does two things.  First, it lets you go back and almost &lt;em&gt;cheat&lt;/em&gt; - you can refresh yourself quickly on something really complicated, just by skipping thru your notes.  And secondly, the very act of looking, thinking, writing, and then looking at what you wrote, serves to load the data into your &quot;necktop&quot; computer - ie. your brain. It is about 100 times better than just reading the material.  Just the act of copying the stuff onto paper - study notes, a work-book, a computer-screen, etc.. will help massively.  This, I recall, was a huge revelation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and teach clearly, that any big, ugly problem, can usually be broken down into smaller and smaller pieces, so that each small piece can be solved. Then, you just re-assemble the pieces carefully, and voila, the problem almost appears to have solved itself.  (Convergence by step-wise refinement, top-down planning, PERT networks, GANTT charting, all that project management hoohaw is just specific formalizations of a very general way of working).  But kids don't know this, unless someone tells them carefully, and then maybe shows them.  If math is a problem, it is usually because the math teacher is bad.  (Maybe that is you?  I recall my father - who was a smart guy - could not teach to save his life. He was clever, but he lacked the ability to make simple cognative leaps.  He had little imagination.  My mother was the genius - she could just look at a problem, and see straight thru the fluff, and nail the key fact, and ask the key question.  But I believe these skills are teachable.   There is a famous teaching experiment re. trading, (google &quot;the silence of the Turtles&quot;, a chapter in a financial book about trading commodities).  Bottom line was, if people are able to learn the basic rules, and the rules were correct, you could teach ordinary people to trade the commodity markets successfully, and make big money.  This result defied all commonly held views in pedogological, financial and psychological research, and contradicted the widely held economic view that markets are somehow efficient.   It all came down to just teaching people some basic procedures - algorithms - on how to do something that was only of medium level difficulty.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, this is the algo for your son.   Make sure he knows - step by step by step - how he can solve a certain class of problems.  Math is an easy place to start.   The rules are simple, can be understood, and then applied.  And you can then check that you did it right.   Get him to draw a flowchart of how to solve a tough problem that he feels he can't do.  Keep re-enforcing, by gentle explanation, over and over, that everyone faces these issues, and everyone everywhere has to do some form of this thing he is learning how to do.  Everybody has to begin somewhere.   Work with him on the basics, if he does not have the basics.  (lots of kids don't now.).  When he figures out something, make sure to give some positive response.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And try to find out what really excites him.  Use that both in the re-enforcement regime, and frame the stuff he has difficulty with terms of that thing he likes.  Old example: kids that didn't think they could do math, but liked baseball, could be taught a lot of math and stats just by keeping track of scores, RBI's, batting averages, league tables, etc.  Or, if they liked cars, they could learn basic calculus concepts by looking at how the speedometer needle moved... stuff like that.  Find things that he likes, and frame hard problem-solving work within the context of the environment that surrounds the stuff he likes.  That way, it holds his interest long enough for him to maybe learn the key concepts, so that the homework becomes easier as time goes on.&#xA;Hope some of this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and limit TV and computer games.  Especially computer games. Too much gaming degrades imagination and social skills, really limits kid's mental growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope something helps.  Best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19010" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T07:22:39.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22056" CreationDate="2015-09-17T07:43:04.783" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maternal stress has been shown to have detrimental effects to babies in the womb.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychiatry.emory.edu/PROGRAMS/GADrug/Feature%20Articles/Mothers/The%20effects%20of%20maternal%20stress%20and%20anxiety%20during%20pregnancy%20(mot07).pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;A survey of relevant studies was published by Emory University.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Prenatal stress and perinatal outcomes—Maternal stress and anxiety during pregnancy has&#xA;  been associated with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;shorter gestation &amp;amp; higher incidence of preterm birth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;smaller birth weight and length&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;increased risk of miscarriage&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Prenatal stress and infant outcomes—Prospective studies have shown that &gt; &#xA;  maternal stress and anxiety during pregnancy are related to infant outcomes such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;temperamental problems and increased fussiness&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;problems with attention, attention regulation, and emotional reactivity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;lower scores on measures of mental development&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Prenatal stress and child outcomes—A recent large-scale epidemiological study confirmed some of the infant outcomes above and showed associations between prenatal stress and anxiety and:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;hyperactivity and inattention in boys&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;emotional problems in girls and boys&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;conduct problems in girls &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Granted, not all of these studies showed correlations between the type of stress your wife is put through by her job - some were about natural disasters or emotional stress like death of a family member.  Nonetheless, stress hormones pass through directly to the fetus. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/502825&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Lack of sleep also decreases the body's ability to process stress hormones.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in answer to your question, yes, a mother's crazy work schedule &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; affect the baby in the womb. As with all scientific studies correlating inputs like stress with outcomes, whether it &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; or not is not so easy to determine as it will depend on the specific individual characteristics wife and (future) baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T07:43:04.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22083" CreationDate="2015-09-17T10:21:49.997" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, assess more precisely whether she can miss one session. If you fear asking the production manager while ruin her chances in the audition, perhaps you could ask advice from other parents who had kids in previous year's Nutcracker instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, when you have all elements in hands, I would suggest to let your daughter choose. Help her weight the pros and cons, but let her decide. Even if she makes a bad choice from your point of view, it will be her choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will certainly appreciate the respect you show her. You will prove her you assume she has enough maturity for this, and you may use this process to teach her how to assess tough choices. And even in the case she regrets her decision later, she might grow wiser out of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19013" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T10:21:49.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22110" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-17T10:37:58.980" Score="2" ViewCount="313" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a mother with a children at 2 years old and I am looking for nursery rhymes  animations to share with my little one. In this question, my problem is expressed regarding the quality of the characters and story itself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any quality suggestions about the content?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19014" LastEditorUserId="19014" LastEditDate="2015-09-17T13:17:35.283" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T14:19:20.453" Title="How important is the quality of the content of 3D animations made for toddlers?" Tags="|toddler|television|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22111" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-17T11:00:13.453" Score="-4" ViewCount="225" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think us families get ripped off when we go out and do things so I want to ask any mums and dads out there if they would join a club which gave them exclusive discounts to things to do, classes, eating out, party planning. My question is would it appeal to anyone and would they pay? It's a not for profit idea so it's really about community and families doing more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas or suggestions would be really helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19015" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-09T21:16:30.743" LastActivityDate="2019-03-09T21:16:30.743" Title="What would make doing stuff with young children easier?" Tags="|toddler|money|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-09-19T13:20:55.967" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22111" CreationDate="2015-09-17T12:02:26.523" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend looking into your local museums and municipal recreation departments. Many have programs designed for children and families that are free or low cost. MacaroniKid.com and RedTricycle.com both have a weekly digest that details regional weekend events. Meetup.com has a ton of groups devoted to family outings. Once you start finding these events, you'll start seeing them everywhere. I will say, though, that summer activities are far more plentiful than winter. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18957" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T12:02:26.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22034" CreationDate="2015-09-17T12:43:38.373" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't be made to love anyone. But there's a difference between how you &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; about a person and how you &lt;em&gt;treat&lt;/em&gt; them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both girls are now your granddaughters, so as a grandparent, you're supposed to treat them equally. Since this situation is new to you, it may take some conscious effort. Make sure you give the girls gifts of equal value (both monetary and emotionally) and at the same occasions. When calling them, speak to both of them separately. Ask both how they're doing, how their day was and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show both equal love, give both equal love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to not emphasize your &quot;extremely close bond&quot; or that &quot;beautiful relationship&quot; too much. Words like &quot;favorite&quot; should disappear from your vocabulary, &lt;em&gt;even in private conversation with either of your granddaughters&lt;/em&gt;. Neither of them must be made to feel &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; special than the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But some damage has been done. Your granddaughter overheard you on the phone with her sister, calling her your favourite. Her father was right to bring this to your attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you were used to calling her that. I assume (I &lt;em&gt;hope&lt;/em&gt;) your son's daughter from his previous marriage was your &lt;em&gt;only grandchild&lt;/em&gt; until he met his current wife. If you have other grandchildren, you shouldn't be calling one of them your favourite, regardless of the present change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it's now up to you to undo that damage. Talk to the girl you've hurt and explain that you were used to calling her sister that, but that of course you're very glad you now have two granddaughters and that you love her very much.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Try to spend some time with your new granddaughter alone, trying to get to know her better. You've had 4 years already for this, but better late than never. This is of course not easy when they live in another state, but plan some activities with each of them alone when they're visiting or when you're visiting them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T14:18:40.750" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T14:18:40.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2933" CreationDate="2015-09-17T13:08:51.713" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something you should handle together with your fiancée. So you need to talk with your fiancée first, to make sure you two agree how to handle this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have control over their father. So while you could ask him to dial it down a bit, there's no guarantee that he will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that doesn't mean that everything is out of your &lt;em&gt;(plural)&lt;/em&gt; control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Read every&lt;/em&gt; you &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; your &lt;em&gt;below as plural — you and your fiancée).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Talk with &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of your children&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, you and your fiancée can talk with &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of your kids and explain the situation. Explain that you can't match everything the girls get from their other father, but that you love all of them very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Compensate in other ways&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to make up for the lavish gifts with fun activities and attention &lt;em&gt;for all&lt;/em&gt;. Do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; compensate &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; the boys, since that would make it a competition between the boys and the girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Don't allow begging for gifts&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Just last week the girls wanted to get American Girl dolls. So they call their father up and get him to order them some online. They know that if they want something, they only have to ask their father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is something you and your fiancée &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; control. If you've explained to your kids (all four of them) that you can't match the gifts the girls get, the girls may feel guilty already. But if they don't, you can make clear to them that begging for gifts will not be allowed. Manipulating their other father into buying them stuff will not be tolerated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Don't allow your home to be a gift storage facility&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your living space is finite. If their other father wants to buy them stuff, it'll have to stay at his place. You can't have &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; filling up &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; home. That way, at least it's less visible for the boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2017-07-18T11:08:22.903" LastActivityDate="2017-07-18T11:08:22.903" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22115" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-17T13:09:25.577" Score="4" ViewCount="864" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has been diagnosed with ADHD.  He has been kicked out of four different daycares starting when he was just 2 years old.  He is now in Kindergarten, and my wife and I hoped that with his recent diagnoses, medication and change of scenery to &quot;big boy&quot; school he would show signs of improvement.  He hasn't.  School is in its fourth week and he has been sent to the principal's office every day but 3.  He has run out of the class.  Dumped things out of their containers in the classroom and principle's office.  Thrown various tantrums.  Threatened teachers and the principles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today they called my wife to ask if she would sit in the classroom with him to show support for the teacher.  She said of course she would.  We were in the conference room talking to the principal while he was in the office with the other principal and another student.  Right before we were going to get him to take him back to class, he picked up a clipboard and smashed the other kid in the face with it.  He said he was thinking about what it would be like to have a lose tooth so he wanted to see if he could make the other kid's tooth loose.  So he's been suspended from school for a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's a very smart kid.  He already does pretty much everything they're supposed to be doing at the end of the school year, so he's not suffering academic-wise, yet.  At home, he's really well behaved most of the time.  When he does start acting up it's usually later in the day, and he's tired.  So this doesn't seem to explain his behavior in the early afternoon when he's at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried every type of reward/punishment we can think of to do.  Right now he has the incentive of hosting a party which he can invite anyone he wants to where we'll have a movie night with popcorn and decorations and whatever else he wants, if he can go one week without being sent to the principal.  His teacher knows about it, and reminds him about it when he starts to act up, but so far it hasn't stopped him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's told us that Kindergarten is boring and that he wants to go to first grade.  We told him that's fine, but they're not going to let that be an option until he shows that he can be in class and behave.  We have run out of ideas.  The psychiatrist keeps saying to &quot;look for the triggers&quot;, but there don't seem to be any.  Sometimes he literally looks for something to upset him.  His trigger is getting what he wants, when he wants, by whatever means necessary.  He doesn't seem to care about rewards or punishments when he's set his mind to something.  Has anyone dealt with something like this before?  Any advice?  We really need some outside the box thinking here, because we've tried everything we can think of.  We've even read books about &quot;kids like him&quot;, but nothing has helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19016" LastActivityDate="2015-11-15T09:52:46.360" Title="Kindergartner with no control over his emotions/behavior" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|violence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22087" CreationDate="2015-09-17T14:37:59.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you do end up in the situation where one child goes to the party and the other doesn't, I would do two things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, talk to the older child about her feelings, and help her process them.  You now know the reason only one child was invited; you can let her know that, and you can also help her come to terms with the fact that over time her friend-group may well differentiate from her sister's, even though they are of a similar age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; older, and will have at least a year or two of very 'different' interests when puberty hits.  She's also a &lt;em&gt;different person&lt;/em&gt;, with a different personality - at least a little - and thus may well end up forming different attachments, even if only slightly different.  Some - perhaps most - of the time she and her sister will hang out together and have fun, but sometimes they will make different choices and/or their friends will make different choices.  This is a good time to talk about that, and to start working out how she can process that in a positive way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I would help her make this a positive.  Host a &quot;party&quot; of her own, perhaps.  Can she invite a couple of other non-invited-to-the-other-party friends over for a movie night?  Or maybe have a mommy or daddy alone night where you do something fun.  This is only something that should really go along with the first discussion - it's really cheating to just do this, without talking about the issue, and won't help her in the long run - but it can help her see that there are ways to turn the situation into a positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T14:37:59.143" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22087" CreationDate="2015-09-17T16:53:13.720" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would lean strongly toward declining the invitation.  With our kids, we have put a lot of emphasis on teaching them that they are each other's best friends.  When we move, or their friends move, still they have each other.  If this is a common friend, inviting only the younger sibling naturally creates difficult emotions for the older one.  I would consider this a time to teach the younger sibling (and thereby teach all your children), that deference to her sister's feelings is more important than attending a friend's party.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I would not consider trying to talk to the other parents to get the older child invited as well.  That can create an even worse situation where your older child gets there and is treated poorly, being made to feel unwelcome.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I would plan an alternate event.  Have your 9 and 10 year olds do their own thing that night, and include the rest of the family - a family camp-out in the living room, or a back-to-the-future family movie marathon, or any family aimed event that helps the 9 year old put away the sadness of not getting to go to her friend's sleep-over, and helps all your kids grow in their love of spending time with each other and with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T16:53:13.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22120" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22124" CreationDate="2015-09-17T17:36:15.860" Score="38" ViewCount="18411" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two daughters, 2 and 3 years old, 13 months apart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our oldest has over the past several months taken to the &quot;I'd rather do precisely the opposite of what you just asked me to do&quot; mindset. Some examples of this are requests as simple as &lt;em&gt;please come here&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;stop jumping on the couch&lt;/em&gt;, etc. There are (more often than not) occasions where we ask her to please just come to us (think, if we're trying to leave the house), and she deliberately runs away to do something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to believe this is just her 3-year-old way of saying, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'd rather not do whatever you're wanting me to come there to do, so&#xA;  I'm going to run to play with my toys instead, regardless of you&#xA;  repeatedly calling for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My primary concern here is for her safety. I've noticed the same sort of behavior when I pick her up for daycare. I get that she's super excited to go home, but the daycare has automatic doors when leaving the lobby; I often have to run and grab her arm to stop her from potentially running outside into the driveway, where parents park to walk in and pickup their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm more concerned now that her younger sister has picked up on this behaviour, and has started exhibiting the same sort of responses to us wanting them to just &lt;em&gt;come here&lt;/em&gt;, or &lt;em&gt;hold my hand&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only option we have sometimes is to hold their hand tight enough that they &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; let go, for their own safety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I honestly just want to hear someone say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Yeah buddy, this is 100% normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if it's not, then I need to know so we can work out how to correct it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17178" LastEditorUserId="7915" LastEditDate="2015-09-18T12:06:00.707" LastActivityDate="2018-07-13T06:43:57.087" Title="Do most 2-3-year-old toddlers deliberately disobey?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22121" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-17T18:51:31.260" Score="4" ViewCount="7353" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old boy is constantly in trouble at school. He is in his first year of kindergarten and the first week went great with no problems. After that he will not stop coming home with black remarks from the teacher. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some examples of his behavior at school: not listening to the teacher, &#xA;not sitting down when told, talking when he isn't supposed to, hitting other kids, drawing on other kids, laughing at the teacher when told to take a time out. These are just some of the things he is doing. The teachers are frustrated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Prior to Kindergarten he was just as much trouble in daycare. He was kicked out of 4 daycares in one year because he wouldn't listen. Saying that he won't listen seems like a small problem, but trust me, it's not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried all forms of punishment: time outs, taking away toys, early to bed, having heart to heart conversations, asking him to choose his own punishment, explaining the wrong behavior and the impact it has. Nothing works. When he is asked why he is in trouble he will tell you what he did wrong so that leads me to believe that he is fully aware of his bad behavior. He will promise to have a good day tomorrow and that he is sorry and that he understands, yet the next day comes and the behavior will be the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We feel like we have tried everything. We are starting to think that we need to do something harsh to prove a point (remove all toys, as soon as he gets home he eats and goes straight to bed, spanking). What is a proper punishment for a defiant and misbehaving 5-year-old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19025" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-07T12:16:25.190" LastActivityDate="2019-06-07T12:16:25.190" Title="How to discipline my 5-year-old who is constantly in trouble at school?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22120" CreationDate="2015-09-17T18:56:15.310" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my somewhat limited experience with children this age, they aren't disobeying maliciously.  They are at a point in their lives where they are trying to assert their own desires and their independence.  They want to get what they want and sometimes that is just being, at the very least, somewhat in control of their world.  And saying &quot;no&quot; is the tried and true method they all discover to do that.  Even if they would dearly love to go the park, that is a bit to far removed time-wise to effectively dissuade them from the thrill of being in control now.  (Toddlers live mostly in the here and now, not the future, no matter how small of a jump into the future it may be.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, they are also pushing their boundaries.  And they will push and push until you push back.  Consistent consequences for actions help teach them where the boundaries are and that mommy and daddy mean what they say.  It will be a fight.  It probably won't be a short one.  But after a while you will see improvement in one area.  Then your toddler will start pushing a different boundary.  And you start over with their new fascination.  But over time they do learn that you mean business and the fights over boundaries get shorter and shorter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL/DR: welcome to what many parents have labeled &quot;the terrible twos&quot;*.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Note: the terrible twos are not limited to the time between your child's 2nd and 3rd birthdays. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T18:56:15.310" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22120" CreationDate="2015-09-17T21:01:42.033" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always pictured it as though they discovered a lightswitch inside their head that does something they've never felt before, with the ability to make the physical world around them conform with the mental world they are building within (of course, they don't necessarily realize they're only getting away with it because you're trying to help them grow, not just control them).  When they find that first light switch, its binary -- on or off, yes or no, capitulate or rebel.  Only as they grow will they discover that lightswitch was actually just one key on a piano they can use to play beautiful music with subtlety and nuance.  For now, its just the G♭ above middle-C that they are banging because its the only one they've found so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just wait until they learn how to do what you ask, to the letter, but disobey the spirit.  That's when they learn to play that &lt;em&gt;{bleep}&lt;/em&gt;ing diminished fifth that grates on your soul!  (But it's okay, the diminished fifth is an essential part of developing the feel of playing Jazz music!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastEditorUserId="7915" LastEditDate="2015-09-18T00:00:01.327" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T00:00:01.327" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22120" CreationDate="2015-09-17T21:39:33.893" Score="41" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you research &quot;toddler noncompliance&quot; (meaning disobedience), there is a wealth of information. Part of the reason so much information exists is because it is a common concern of parents, and so there's a need/desire to understand it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the factors that influences the child's seemingly sudden increase in disobedience in toddlerhood is the change in the parents' approach to reprimanding or disciplining the child: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Developmental analyses of maternal control strategies indicated a shift from the physical to the verbal modalities with age. &lt;strong&gt;Maternal explanations, bargaining, and reprimands increased with age and distraction decreased with age.&lt;/strong&gt; Developmental changes in children's responses to control were consistent with a social skill perspective on children's noncompliance. Passive noncompliance and direct defiance decreased with age, whereas negotiation, the relatively more sophisticated form of resistance, increased with age. Mothers' use of reasoning and suggestion were associated with the children's use of negotiation as a form of resistance, whereas relatively direct maternal strategies were associated with the children's defiant responses.&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have also been some interesting studies on other negative behavior seen in children, such as lying about breaking a rule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In Study 1, 3- and 5-year-olds were asked not to touch a toy in the experimenter's absence. Just over half of the children touched the toy, and of those children, the majority denied having done so. Of control children who were given permission to touch the toy, all touched it and admitted having done so. In Study 2, 3- and 5-year-olds were asked not to look in a box to identify its contents. Almost all children looked, most denied having looked, and a minority consistently feigned ignorance of the contents. False-belief understanding was linked to denial of looking but not to feigning ignorance. Of control children who were given permission to look, all acknowledged looking, and they almost always revealed their knowledge of the contents. &lt;strong&gt;The studies confirm that preschoolers deceive in the context of a minor misdemeanor but are less effective at feigning ignorance&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, this suggests that the behavior isn't completely due to the change in the parents' methods, but a sign that a child is acquiring a simplistic moral framework. They're aware of right and wrong in a limited enough sense to deny when they've done wrong, but are not yet advanced enough to know that lying is wrong. (Or, that adults can easily tell when such a lie has occurred.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, yes, the disobedience is quite normal in toddlers, and doesn't seem to be constrained to any given country. It's so normal that this stage of life has a well-known name:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/terrible-twos-myth&quot;&gt;The Terrible Twos (or Threes)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“Research shows that &lt;strong&gt;age three is the peak of defiant behavior&lt;/strong&gt;,” says Kazdin. You're more controlling (you have to be—he's a force of nature now!), but he wants autonomy desperately, which makes life a series of battles. And your child is up for it: That improved reasoning lets him enter into high-level negotiations (“I'll put on my pajamas now if you give me a piece of chocolate”).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A developmental interpretation of young children's noncompliance.&#xA;Kuczynski, Leon; Kochanska, Grazyna; Radke-Yarrow, Marian; Girnius-Brown, Ona&#xA;Developmental Psychology, Vol 23(6), Nov 1987, 799-806. &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.23.6.799&quot;&gt;http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.23.6.799&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Deception by young children following noncompliance.&#xA;Polak, Alan; Harris, Paul L.&#xA;Developmental Psychology, Vol 35(2), Mar 1999, 561-568. &lt;a href=&quot;http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.35.2.561&quot;&gt;http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.35.2.561&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-09-17T21:39:33.893" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22125" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-17T21:40:32.410" Score="2" ViewCount="191" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not good with routine. As a result my two yr old is hard to teach. Also i am not sure what to do. He is has a blood disorder so daycare isnt an option. I cant get him to listen or sit long enough to teach him. He just starting to say words he is in development training because i feel he has a delay. And I've learned it's more me that is his problem than him. Please help with suggestions on what i can do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19029" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-15T10:30:50.893" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T10:30:50.893" Title="How do I get myself into a routine?" Tags="|toddler|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22121" CreationDate="2015-09-18T07:24:18.617" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he already has a deeply ingrained pattern of behaviour (you say he was like that in daycares, too), so be ready to invest tons of patience, persistence and time to change. Until you provide more information according to the comment below the question, I am going to take a stab at what might be the issue with your approach. &lt;p&gt; What happens you take a toy away? Does he sulk for five minutes and then get back to his cheerful self? If that's the case, it means he's already forgotten about both his unacceptable act and the punishment. You might want to extend the duration of the punishment. In some extreme cases we'd ban our kid from watching cartoons for a few days (which he does every day for 15 minutes after waking up and before going to bed). Each morning/evening, he'd ask for his cartoons again, because he'd completely forget about the wrong act and the punishment. Each time we'd calmly explain why there will be no cartoons and each time he'd be disappointed anew, but thus he slowly learned that actions can have lasting consequences. We'd only restore the privilege after he was commended by the teacher. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastEditorUserId="18978" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T07:11:04.410" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T07:11:04.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22120" CreationDate="2015-09-18T09:24:28.173" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is normal. It is also necessary and healthy. A &lt;strong&gt;100% obedient child would be creepy.&lt;/strong&gt; I'd be afraid they are sociopaths (because they are using their excellent self-control to manipulate you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By contrast, when a child is disobedient it is (often, at that age) &lt;strong&gt;authentic&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to emphasize that for moral and practical reasons this warrants an authentic response. In particular, try not to get into power fights where it is not necessary. Pretending that obedience is important when it isn't would be in-authentic. With our child (sample size of 1...) it seemed to work well to focus on the important issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Safety,&lt;/strong&gt; obviously. We got really serious when he put himself in danger. Eye-contact, attention, talking-to with a good explanation why he could die when he does that again. (Or whatever.) I thought that limiting these serious moments to serious issues made it easier for our child to obey then. We would not get that serious for the disobedience as such, but rather for the underlying issue. After all, the child should be prodded towards autonomy and self-control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My own or others' discomfort.&lt;/strong&gt; Like when he was loud in a fine restaurant, or badly disrupted a nice dinner at home. Same thing. Make sure he understands it. I would point out how he annoyed me: &quot;Listen to my voice. Did you notice how impatient it sounded? If you continue doing that, I'll become angry.&quot; He may still be disobedient but then he will face consequences like disgruntled parents, aborted dinners, physical removal from places after a warning. We are stronger, for a reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other situations (doesn't stop jumping on the sofa which annoys me) I simply left the room if and when he continued. There are other rooms. (But I would throw him out of the office. That's &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; room.) I also made sure that I didn't hide that I was annoyed and mentioned it again later. If he wanted a favour later he'd be reminded why I didn't feel like it, right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I very much like Louis CK's take on his 4 year old who doesn't want to put her shoes on (and other issues). He sure has a talent to say aloud what we don't even admit we are thinking. I hope that makes you feel more normal :-). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOaIFgse4Hw&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOaIFgse4Hw&lt;/a&gt; &lt;em&gt;(note: clip includes profanity)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7440" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-18T17:29:57.970" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T17:29:57.970" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22128" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-18T09:29:21.450" Score="13" ViewCount="3875" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since more than a year, one tooth of my 3.5-year-old daughter has started to deteriorate. Recently, two more teeth are getting affected. This is due to not getting her teeth brushed up properly and regularly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now what measures should be taken to care for it and to rectify the situation? As these teeth are temporary, when will these come out and new permanent ones come?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6828" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-09T13:47:07.383" LastActivityDate="2019-03-15T14:53:49.267" Title="How to care for my 3.5-year-old's decaying teeth?" Tags="|pre-schooler|hygiene|teeth|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22128" CreationDate="2015-09-18T10:01:25.823" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;Step 1: See a dentist, have cavities treated asap. Yes, these teeth will fall out, but until then, they act as &lt;em&gt;placeholders&lt;/em&gt; for the permanent teeth. There are also sources that claim the deciduous teeth are important for the development of the permanent teeth.  (Which will start to appear at around five to seven, that's quite different between kids.)&#xA;And frankly, untreated your daughter is in for a lot of pain if you don't act now. If the  teeth are in really bad shape, a good dentist might suggest sedating her to treat the cavities. While this sounds extreme, it may be a good choice, because conciously having multiple teeth treated is no picknick for a 3.5 year old. Ask around for recommendations, you want a dentist that is good, patient and gentle with children and takes his time, not just one that does a good job with the teeth alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 2: Start brushing teeth as recommended: At least twice a day using toothpaste with appropriate fluoride content and as per recommended technique. Your dentist or the Internet can guide you. &lt;em&gt;Brushing teeth is the parent's responsibility until the child's dexterity is quite good.&lt;/em&gt; Until then, let the child brush first to practise, then finish. Rule of thumb: by the age of seven or eight, they should be ready. A 3.5 year old can't manage this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 3: Visit the dentist regularly, typically twice a year. This not only prevents fear in the child, but ensures small starting cavities can be treated before they become problematic. A good dentist will also help you with proper technique, because he sees the spots you might be missing when brushing her teeth.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Going to the dentist only if you are in pain might establish a bad pattern for life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-12-21T14:47:33.647" LastActivityDate="2015-12-21T14:47:33.647" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22130" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22132" CreationDate="2015-09-18T10:02:53.450" Score="6" ViewCount="740" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3.5-year-old who seems to be a bright spark (I know every parent thinks this :). She is asking:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is water made of? (answered rain)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is air made of? (answered gas like steam coming out of the&#xA;kettle but different)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is straw made of? (answered really big dead grass)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is grass made out of? (answered really little green 'cells' that&#xA;drink sun)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are leaves? (answered like grass on but on trees to drink the&#xA;sun and feed the tree)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to know how to best explain these concepts, balancing complex advanced concepts (gases etc.) versus dismissing with a limiting un-scientific answer?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19038" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-30T16:01:38.197" LastActivityDate="2019-03-30T16:01:38.197" Title="How to explain scientific concepts to a curious 3.5-year-old?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|science|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22130" CreationDate="2015-09-18T12:28:54.570" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rather than answering all her questions correctly and fully, what is important to help her develop a scientific mind is to spark her interest in the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencebuddies.org/science-fair-projects/project_scientific_method.shtml&quot;&gt;scientific method:&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The steps of the scientific method are to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Ask a Question&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Do Background Research&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Construct a Hypothesis&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Analyze Your Data and Draw a Conclusion&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Communicate Your Results&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 3.5 year old can't do all of these things yet in the way an older kid could, but you can guide her to begin the process. She's already asking questions so that's a good start! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest you spend time taking your daughter out into nature. Let her play scientist by collecting different kinds of leaves, and ask her why she thinks some leaves look different from others. Have her pull apart a flower to see the parts inside, and ask her what she thinks the parts might be for. Find some insects or other small invertebrates under a log; she will naturally start observing their behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You won't have all the answers to her questions, but that's okay. Feed her inquisitive mind by helping her find things out on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you want to do some research on your own or together with her to find some age appropriate answers to the &quot;why&quot; questions with websites or videos, that's fine too, but it should be supplemental the emphasis on exploration and inquisitiveness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T12:28:54.570" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22128" CreationDate="2015-09-18T14:57:57.730" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure your child's toothpaste contains fluoride and use the amount recommended on the tube.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Establish twice-daily tooth-cleaning as non-negotiable.  If all else fails, do it by force.  This may be very difficult but if you persevere, your child will come to accept it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a bit of luck you can think of better ways to get it done.  Here are a few ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let your child watch you brushing your own teeth. Let him/her have a go at brushing your teeth too - they will think it is great fun.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;3 1/2 is not too young to understand the reasons for cleaning them, so educate. Try a disclosing tablet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reduce sugary foods and drinks. Dried fruit may be good nutritionally, but for teeth it is just as bad as sweets. Natural fruit juice is just as bad as any cordial. Replace sugary drinks with sugar-free alternatives, or better still, milk or water.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No drinks in bed except water. Not even milk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make treats conditional on cooperation with tooth-cleaning.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19046" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-18T18:27:10.267" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T18:27:10.267" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22083" CreationDate="2015-09-18T15:47:09.757" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your last comment is on the right track. If you don't think she is understanding the consequences, help her to think through them. Eg., she may just have a small part this year, but having the experience might help her to get a larger part next year than if she didn't participate at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not go to the ballet company and ask for an exception to be made in her case. If she comes up with it herself as a possible solution, I would coach her on how to do that in a humble and non-entitled way. I would additionally recommend that this should only be done once she has already decided what she will do in all contingencies. This includes determining when she has to commit to each activity. Eg., if the tickets are purchased before the auditions, she cannot back out of going to the concert, even if it means turning down a better part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the summary, I think the final decision should be left to her, but your role is to guide her in exploring the consequences before it is made, and to enforce her sticking to whatever she has committed to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T15:47:09.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22128" CreationDate="2015-09-18T18:36:27.993" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 3.5 year old with a similar problem. We took him to a dentist who gave us a $2000+ recommendation, 4 root canals. We went to get a second opinion. The second dentist suggested we do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No sugar. This means no juice, no chocolate milk, no candy, etc. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brush after each meal, make certain the decaying teeth get brushed. This can be hard with a squirming kid.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get a fluoride mouth wash and use a q tip to apply the mouthwash to the decaying teeth. this will harden the tooth and slow down the decay. Do this at least twice a day. We just do it whenever he eats anything.&lt;/strong&gt;(Bold because I didn't see anyone else mention this) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started this over a year ago and met with the dentist every 3 months to check on the teeth. so far so good. The dentist thinks we have a 70% chance that the teeth will last until the adult teeth come in. Both dentists are pediatric dentists. They had drastically different approaches. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby teeth fall out in the order the came in. Starting at around 5 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You really want to meet with a dentist who can check up and make sure its not getting worse. Just letting the teeth decay for the next 3-6 years could lead to some big problems as noted by the other answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19052" LastEditorUserId="19052" LastEditDate="2015-09-18T18:44:17.330" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T18:44:17.330" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22121" CreationDate="2015-09-18T19:18:22.473" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't sound like he is defiant.  He doesn't deny his wrongdoing or throw tantrums.  Maybe he really &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to behave but he just forgets, or acts on impulse.  Or it could be that he is secretly defiant and has learned how to &quot;game the system&quot; by smiling at you sweetly and pretending to acquiesce, but then doing as he pleases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever the reason for his behavior, I have found rewards to be a lot more effective in modifying behavior than punishment.  It might seem counterintuitive (why would you want to reward him for bad behavior by giving him stuff just to stop being bad?) but sense of outrage aside, the most important aspect of a strategy is whether it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does he love?  TV?  Going out to dinner?  Getting to pick what the family eats, or where they go on an outing?  Books?  Toys?  Playdates?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Set up a point system for rewarding him for good behavior.  First you will have to set a baseline.  With my son, who loves all sorts of electronic entertainment, and also anything sweet, the baseline is that he gets no electronics and no sweets.  We justified this citing the thousands of dollars that we had to spend getting all his cavities filled, and his bad grades and the fact that he was constantly &quot;forgetting&quot; whenever we told him to do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you set the market.  My son gets fifteen minutes a day (cumulative if he doesn't use it) of electronics for brushing his teeth properly (we did inspections).  When he was younger he got a daily &quot;report card&quot; from his teacher with numeric grades (1-5) for things like &quot;sitting quietly&quot;, &quot;respecting others&quot;, &quot;doing schoolwork&quot;, etc.  Each category in each grade earned him a certain number of &quot;stars&quot;.  We set the prices for things he wanted.  An hour of TV cost 15 stars.  A caffeine free diet soda cost him 20 stars.  That expensive totally cool Star Wars toy that he begged us for at Toys-R-Us was prices at 150 stars.  Nectarines and strawberries at the store cost 1 star apiece.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason that we didn't express his rewards directly in terms of money (for example, you get $1 per point per category) is so that we could set higher prices for things that might be financially cheap buy really expensive in other respects (candy, for example) and cheap prices for things that we wanted to encourage (like fruit)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This system has changed his behavior for the better when time outs, scolding, explanations and removal of privileges had little lasting effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T19:18:22.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22128" CreationDate="2015-09-18T20:14:10.613" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's multiple things that should be done to address it, from education to seeing a dentist.  A child not brushing their teeth, in and of itself, doesn't cause tooth decay... the bacterial waste from specific types of compounds, such as sugar, are what causes the decay (in conjunction with acidic food items which dissolve enamel).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone likes sweet foods, as our brains are hardwired to respond pleasurably to sugar, however children have to be rationed on it for reasons from oral hygiene to body weight.  This doesn't mean one should go to either extreme, but removing sugary drinks from their diet will help enormously.  Combine teeth that are regularly being bathed in sugar with then not being cleaned is a recipe for decay (this also happens to be what causes Meth Mouth in Methamphetamine addicts, which was thought to be due to the harshness and toxicity of Meth, until it was discovered otherwise a few years back).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all else, the easiest way to make a child embrace a skill they need to have is to make it into a sort of game, combined with positive [not negative] reinforcement.  Make it an activity where you or the other parent brushes their teeth alongside the child, as monkey see, monkey do.  Children learn most by watching others, especially their parents.  To get a child into the habbit of brushing, make it fun for them... have them pick out the character of tooth brush they want, allow them to pick out the toothpaste and mouthwash they find cool and like. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19055" LastActivityDate="2015-09-18T20:14:10.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22147" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22156" CreationDate="2015-09-19T04:19:12.687" Score="13" ViewCount="1214" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to get my kids to be honest and take responsibility. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm seeing a repeated pattern where one or both of my kids will lie to get out of trouble. They're starting to see that they can deny responsiblity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our current system of reward involves a marble jar, where the family will go out for a collective treat. When this stuff happens we take marbles out of the jar as a joint penalty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems to be decreasing in effectiveness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;What do I do when I walk into a room with a broken item and both children shrug their shoulders and say &quot;Wasn't me&quot;?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clarification: Kids are girl: 5 and boy: 4. Cultural context is Australian middle class with two university educated parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-07T12:50:54.520" LastActivityDate="2018-09-07T12:50:54.520" Title="What do I do when I walk into a room with a broken item and both children shrug their shoulders and say &quot;Wasn't me&quot;?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|lying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22102" CreationDate="2015-09-19T05:09:02.790" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could you lay there with her until she starts waking up/getting restless and before she really starts crying to comfort her before she wakes up fully. I suspect her body is treating it as a nap and she actually can't fall asleep again until she's been awake for awhile. If you can catch her before she fully wakes up and starts crying, you might be able to break the cycle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you know why she's crying? Is she having nightmares? Is she scared of waking up alone? Has she developed a fear of the dark? If you can figure out why she's waking up crying, you can maybe do something to help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also try moving her nap-time later and put her to bed a bit later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19063" LastActivityDate="2015-09-19T05:09:02.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22154" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-19T08:01:15.103" Score="0" ViewCount="4274" Body="&lt;p&gt;He has done ZERO homework and is getting straight F's in class. His highest grade is a 52. He just doesnt care, and if I take anything away from him he drives me so insane I just have to give it back. He says hes bored in school, but even after moving him to advanced classes, hes still bored. He just doesnt care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19065" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-19T12:19:35.413" LastActivityDate="2017-08-01T22:19:13.727" Title="My 13 year old doesn't care about school?" Tags="|teen|school|motivation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22147" CreationDate="2015-09-19T13:18:50.970" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't punish mistakes, but do (always) reward honesty and responsibility.&lt;/strong&gt; There is a good chance that the children are refusing to tell because they feel they will get in trouble. In the case of an actual accident, this is unfair as the child is receiving punishment for something it cannot be held responsible for. Responsible behaviour also means understanding when someone could not reasonably have known something and not faulting them for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When kids start to understand that being open and honest about mistakes gets them rewarded even when they have broken something, they'll be more likely to speak up. This is a good thing in the long term, because you'll understand what caused the accident and can perhaps prevent it from happening again in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even if the kids are knowingly breaking the rules and this has caused the problem, you should &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; reward honesty. It will still teach them that even if they did something they should not, being honest is still better than being silent. In such a case, reduce the penalties for breaking the rules. Be explicit about it, to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After this, whenever a situation comes up where the kids still will not speak when something happened, openly tell them that if they will not speak up you will assume the worst and act accordingly. When they reach the age of basic math they will quickly learn that this is the worst possible outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The system rewards openness and responsibility as long as it is used correctly. This is a thing we strongly strive for in my job and always rewarding honesty while not punishing mistakes really helps people feel more responsible and open. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Examples&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(with random amounts of marbles, I don't know how many you use, it'll work as long as the relative amounts stay about the same)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids accidentally break a vase and confess: Add 2 marbles for being honest. No punishment since they couldn't help it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids break a vase because of playing football inside, which they are not allowed to do and confess: Remove 5 marbles for breaking the rules, add 2 marbles for owning up to it. Make sure you mention both counts and don't just remove 3; they have to know that being honest is helping their case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids accidentally break a vase and don't say anything: Tell them you are assuming the worst if they don't explain. Then remove 5 marbles for intentionally breaking the vase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids break the vase because of playing football and don't say anything: Tell them you are assuming the worst if they don't explain. Then remove 5 marbles for intentionally breaking the vase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-09-19T13:18:50.970" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22128" CreationDate="2015-09-19T16:12:26.913" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Fact is you both have lessons to learn. You to ensure this is resolved and to ensure your new child does not suffer similarly. She to ensure she suffers no more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of the future is to make yourself aware of what drinks and foods will do damage to your children. When they do have something with sugar in then give them milk or cheese afterwards as these take the PH in the mouth back towards neutral. Water does not do it anywhere near as effectively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are in a position to support her by making sure it doesn't happen again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19072" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-09-22T14:57:39.927" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T14:57:39.927" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22162" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22213" CreationDate="2015-09-20T11:53:24.877" Score="2" ViewCount="503" Body="&lt;p&gt;He says it when he's being sassy, like when I take something from him or when I put him in the car seat. I've heard kids start wielding this obnoxious word at a young age (having associated it parents making corrective action and then mimicking it whenever corrective action is taken). Things I already know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't put him in situations where I have to correct him at all (I.e. Don't leave out scissors then scold him for picking them up) to reduce the association explained above.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say something like &quot;Nothankyou&quot; instead of &quot;No&quot; when I do have to correct him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any other bits of advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19078" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T12:29:27.010" Title="My 1.5 year old is saying &quot;No&quot;" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19617" CreationDate="2015-09-20T22:54:33.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you haven't already looked into it, I suggest checking into Elizabeth Pantley's book: No Cry Sleep Solution. My library had it available, so you might not even have to buy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We face a similar issue with getting our 4-month-old to sleep (naps included) and it started to seem like we were seeing some success with techniques like some of those she describes, until the 4-month sleep regression reared it's head. In a few weeks, we are probably headed down that path again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4092" LastActivityDate="2015-09-20T22:54:33.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22165" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22147" CreationDate="2015-09-20T23:51:37.340" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answer: use Soviet Army style motivation :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To quote an old Soviet Army joke, an officer walks in on something bad having happened, and yells at the privates:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm gonna carefully investigate who's guilty and who's innocent and then punish everyone in sight!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the original intent was to make fun of dumb officers, the officer isn't as dumb as it seems: he's using game theory very effectively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you make (using game theoretical terms) the payoffs for confessing more attractive (e.g. less punishing) than payoffes for not confessing, you can avoid the &quot;Prisoner's Dilemma&quot; (which is what you get when they payoffs favor mutual non-confession).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some ways to do it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consistent major punishment for lying to parents in general&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house, the rule is always very simple: you get worse punishment for lying about doing anything bad, than you'd get for doing it in the first place (and you still get punished for bad thing as well). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Specific extra punishment for being caught in a prisoner's dilemma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a punishment for doing X is Y, then the punishment for doing X and NOT having a consensus of who the guilty party is is 2*Y for both kids.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Extra rewards for not doing anything bad for a sustained period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g. you get a reward (extra computer time, extra treat request for parent to cook) for a week of &quot;good&quot; behavior. However, being caught in this situation without acknowledged person at fault scraps the &quot;good week&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This particular approach (unlike #1 and #2) has a weakness in that it's very effective against &quot;neither of us did it&quot; claim but entirely useless once they smarten up and switch to &quot;he did it - no she did it&quot; claim.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give rewards (or lesser punishments) for true confessions.  (Erik's answer addresses this in details)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2015-09-20T23:57:59.443" LastActivityDate="2015-09-20T23:57:59.443" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22166" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22176" CreationDate="2015-09-21T01:09:41.553" Score="5" ViewCount="1316" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 16-year-old dreads taking out the &lt;strong&gt;garbage&lt;/strong&gt; as well as other things that need to be done around the house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every morning before school, I tell him not to forget to take the garbage out. He intentionally forgets. His reason for this is that chores are supposed to be for maids/house-keepers. He tells me, &quot;I &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to hire a maid.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions on how I can make him understand that having chores and responsibilities are a part of life? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17817" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T03:54:02.727" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T23:35:07.873" Title="How to get my 16-year-old to understand that chores aren't that hard to complete?" Tags="|behavior|teen|chores|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22167" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8258" CreationDate="2015-09-21T05:08:05.410" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was raised in a house where nudity was never an issue and yes, there were a few times I saw my parents having sex.  I do not think it was intentional or an &quot;in your face&quot; kind of a thing.  it was more of a &quot;I got home early&quot;, or woke up to get water and saw something I shouldn't have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As strange as this sounds, I don't see a problem with it.  It wasn't forced on me and I think it is the most natural way to teach a kid about sex.  I will get a ton of &quot;burn in hell&quot; messages for this and I understand that.  My family wasn't into incest or anything creepy (just fyi.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19089" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T05:18:10.963" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T05:18:10.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22168" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22169" CreationDate="2015-09-21T06:56:11.703" Score="12" ViewCount="2864" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found an interest in the &lt;a href=&quot;http://tidyingup.com/&quot;&gt;KonMari method&lt;/a&gt; of tidying up. One of its main pillars is to declutter your life by throwing away things that bring you no joy. It makes sense &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lifehacker.com.au/2011/03/physical-clutter-crowds-out-other-thoughts-steals-focus/&quot;&gt;from a productivity perspective&lt;/a&gt;, especially when you live in a small apartment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is how to apply this theory to my pre-school kids' belongings? As a parent I think a lot of their old stuff (primarily toys) should go to recycling, but if I ask my kids they refuse to let me throw away any of their old things. They will become sad if I do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to handle this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4172" LastEditorUserId="4172" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T09:07:39.600" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T19:06:56.860" Title="Kids and tidying up with KonMari method" Tags="|cleaning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22168" CreationDate="2015-09-21T10:54:33.007" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you need to flip the problem upside down.  Rather than &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; being the one to say which of their toys should go to recycling, have &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; decide. The process will be better accepted by your 5-year-olds if it is a choice that they make themselves. Set the scene for the project by doing the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get a new simple storage solution, as suggested in the KonMari method. Kids are usually interested in new things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you fill up the new storage...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Put out 3 cardboard boxes &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One labeled &quot;give to kids in need&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One labeled &quot;trash&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One labeled &quot;keep and put in new storage system&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid suggesting or pre-sorting their toys for them. This will feel like you are taking their things away. Have them come with you to the donation center, so they understand where it goes. Repeat the sorting exercise every couple of months.  If they are still reluctant to put anything in the give away / trash boxes, you can introduce the idea of &quot;do you love this e.g. teddy bear? does it make you happy?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: one thing I forgot to say... with my husband who is reluctant to let go of things, I tell him that we'll keep the &quot;give away&quot; bag in the basement for a couple weeks in case he changes his mind. That way, if regrets set in, it's not such a forever decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="13586" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T11:07:39.803" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T11:07:39.803" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22147" CreationDate="2015-09-21T12:23:36.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to know your family history with this small amount of text. I also don't know what type of trouble they get into. This might not fit but I'll give a try. They might be afraid of making a mistake. Have you punish them in the past?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometime you might think they lie but in reality they might be just saying &quot;I wish I didn't do it&quot;. Say to them it's ok to make mistake, it's important that you know about it so we can fix it together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of reward and punishment, you could try to convert each situation into a learning opportunity. A vase broke? Don't need to blame anybody, get everybody to clean up together instead. &quot;I see the vase broke. Do you know what we need to do? Let's put the pieces in the trash. Later, we will go to the store and buy a new vase together.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you really want isn't for them to stop making mistake, you want them to start fixing their mistake. Reward the fixing part. Don't punish the mistake part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T12:23:36.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22121" CreationDate="2015-09-21T13:53:52.953" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of the behaviors you describe sound like ADD/ADHD -- impulsivity (inappropriate talking, inappropriate actions, inappropriate aggression) and inattention (not listening to the teacher, not sitting down when told) are common issues.  Consider having your son evaluated to see if this is contributing to the problems.  Knowing whether this is part of the story will not solve the problems, but may help you and the teachers develop a more useful response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17538" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T13:53:52.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22168" CreationDate="2015-09-21T15:44:07.367" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I see a lot of value in teaching this to kids, people's (especially kids') personalities and attachments to things vary a lot, and this certainly would have been very traumatic to me as a child. First and foremost you should make sure that your own desire to &quot;tidy up&quot; is not traumatic for your kids and is not something you pressure/force them into.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are hesitant, one good way to approach it and give them agency would be not to bring up giving away/throwing away their things at all, but instead, when they want something new, telling them that they already have too many things, and that they need to reduce that before you'll buy them more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9837" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T15:44:07.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22168" CreationDate="2015-09-21T15:56:23.930" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two words:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Garage sale.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the easiest ways to get children to give up their old toys is to suggest that they sell them, and keep some/all of the proceeds to buy newer, better toys/books/clothes.  We just did this with our guys (4 and 2), and they loved it.  The sale wasn't very effective - as we didn't know how to properly advertise it - but even so, the small amount of money they earned was nice - and we let them spend it right away to give them a good feeling (unfortunately, it was only $5 each, but that was still plenty for them to be happy with).  Had we earned a few hundred dollars, we would've encouraged them to save most of it, but still allowed them to spend a portion right away to encourage the positive feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kids both helped pick out the toys to sell, and wanted to sell basically everything that wasn't in their 'play with now' section of the house.  They put the toys on the tables in the garage and sat with us while we sold them.  They got to play with them a bit one last time as we waited for customers, but were perfectly happy to go back in without them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nice thing is they are now disassociated from the toys they agreed to give up - so if we did just disappear them now, they wouldn't mind (or notice).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T15:56:23.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22166" CreationDate="2015-09-21T16:53:28.137" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds totally normal.  My son hates chores as well.  My husband and I debated the &quot;you shouldn't have to &lt;em&gt;pay&lt;/em&gt; a child to do chores because that is part of being in a family&quot; vs wanting a way to motivate him beyond yelling at him for not doing the work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We decided to compromise, by &quot;rewarding&quot; him with a substantial gift that we would have been inclined to give him anyway.  That happened to be a smart phone, and it has worked out very well for the most part.  Because it is a gift that he uses all the time, not wanting to have it taken away, even for a short time, is a big motivator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did have a problem with him breaking the phone.  The first time, we just paid the deductible to replace it (after all the electronic devices my husband has dropped in the toilet or the sea or a bay it seemed a tad hypocritical to make a huge fuss over it :) but the second time we made him earn the money to pay the deductible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His particular chore is to do the dishes.  He is expected to have the dishes done and clean up the kitchen area and run the dishwasher every night before he watches any TV or plays computer games.  He, like your son, is terrible at &quot;remembering&quot; to do his chores, so we will periodically have to take the cell phone away for a day or two as a reminder that we shouldn't have to be nagging him every day to get it done.  After he loses the phone he's usually good at remembering for a day or two and them goes back to forgetting.  He's only twelve, though, so we don't expect much different.  We have committed to just calmly having expectations and delivering consequences when he does not live up to the bargain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main point I would make is that you aren't going to get him to like doing chores or probably even to &quot;own&quot; them.  You just need to get him into the habit of doing them.  The &quot;owning&quot; happens when he no longer feels that his life is being controlled by others, but is instead under his own control.  That is the point at which a child grows up and starts (hopefully) taking responsibility for doing the right thing.  I hope that when my son reaches that point in his life he will remember the lessons that we taught him about how adults behave, and he will have internalized them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2015-09-21T16:58:55.417" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T16:58:55.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22166" CreationDate="2015-09-21T18:53:52.337" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;At sixteen, he's going to be moving out very, very soon. From his perspective, that's delightful freedom. (&lt;em&gt;No more stupid chores!&lt;/em&gt;) But he also is going to have &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt; more responsibilities once that time comes. It may be time to make the conversation not just about obligations to a household, but about practice for being an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An adult really has three basic choices:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let the garbage and laundry accumulate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pay for a maid.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do your chores.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first one will negatively impact his social life, the second is absurdly expensive, and the third... is free and creates a tidy home. (To me, it's kind of a no-brainer what to choose.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But at any age, a discussion of chores can also be founded on the idea of responsibility to the household. He gets a place to sleep, uses your utilities (gas, electric, internet, phone), eats your food, is given clothes, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know one family that treats chores sort of a way for the kids to &quot;pay rent&quot;. They sit down and run through the actual cost of raising a child (his share of utilities, mortgage/rent, food bill, and so on). Is he able to pay you $x per week to meet all those expenses? Would he prefer to do chores every now and then instead?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally prefer to turn that idea upside-down a bit: point out what I am providing (shelter, food, clothes) and that I will always happily do that as long as they need, but I'll &quot;pay&quot; a bit extra if they step up and contribute to the household. That payment is in goods and services (shelter, food, clothing) rather than cash. Clearly you won't kick him out for refusing to take out the garbage, but you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; reduce the privileges he gets above the basics. No allowance, no access to the household wifi, no phone, not allowed to borrow the family car... It gives me some level of control, and way to remind them when chores need to be done. (&lt;em&gt;Oh, you want to play video games? Please confirm that you've done X, Y, and Z...&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T18:53:52.337" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22168" CreationDate="2015-09-21T19:06:56.860" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have the feeling that your children have too much stuff, one method I've employed to great success with my kids is the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gather all their non-essential things into one place.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take turns taking an item from the pile until everything's been distributed.  If a 50/50 split seems too unfair, it's pretty easy to fix by doing a 2/1 or 3/2 split.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your pile contains the items that will be disposed of (donated, sold, or thrown away if damaged/incomplete/broken).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child's pile contains the items that they've chosen to keep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let your child freely exchange things between the 2 piles until they're satisfied.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helps to impress on them how what you're doing will help others, and it gives them a lot of control over what they get to keep.  I also explained everything up front so they weren't surprised, and if I picked something that they were more attached to than I thought I could re-emphasize the &quot;exchange&quot; phase at the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One you get the &quot;amount of stuff&quot; they have reduced, then it's a lot easier to exchange the storage they have with smaller bins.  At that point keeping the clutter down is a simple matter of &quot;you've just got X and it doesn't fit.  What would you like to give away so you can keep it?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastActivityDate="2015-09-21T19:06:56.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22178" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-21T19:14:29.607" Score="5" ViewCount="407" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, now five months old, has been recognised as &quot;severely blind&quot; (until she herself can tell us different) from some completely unknown disorder (literally, one in 7.4 billion!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I thought now might be a good idea to start learning Braille so that I can help teach her when she reaches that age. I'm just wondering if anyone here has had to learn Braille as an adult and whether you think it's worthwhile for a parent of a blind baby to learn in preparation for teaching their child to read someday? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19101" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-08T14:18:51.040" LastActivityDate="2019-01-08T14:18:51.040" Title="Should I start learning Braille now in preparation for teaching my blind baby how to read someday?" Tags="|infant|parents|special-needs|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22179" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22180" CreationDate="2015-09-21T23:44:44.807" Score="3" ViewCount="633" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is normally very good at telling us what's on his mind, but we've always had trouble with the concept of &quot;hungry&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He used to simply never mention being hungry (He'd tell us when he was thirsty, grumpy, sleepy, sneezy, dopey, doc, etc.) but he wouldn't say hungry. When we'd offer him a snack, he'd inhale it as though he had been starving for hours. We simply started offering food throughout the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now though, he will tell us his &quot;tummy might be a bit hungry&quot; but when we ask him what he wants, he will say something completely unrelated (like talking to Ralph Wiggum). He'll say he's hungry, we'll ask him what he wants, then he'll say &quot;I have shoes on&quot; or something similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of this, he is fussy for the sake of it (gets it from me). We can offer him anything, and he'll turn it down. He's even refused chocolate. We'll have to list everything in the cupboard, then give up and make him sit down with a banana or something, then he'll only have two bites and run off to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is my kid so weird, what can I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16284" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T13:31:42.853" Title="3 year old won't tell us what he wants to eat" Tags="|pre-schooler|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22179" CreationDate="2015-09-22T06:50:17.443" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience, I would say that your child is not weird, and the best thing should be to stop worry. When he says  he's hungry, suggest some of the things you do have at your home (you do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; want your child to get his mind set on something you don't have...) If he does not seem to choose anything or change subject, change subject as well : maybe he was not hungry after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is only based on personal experience, but it seemed to me that at 3years, my daughter didn't really master the concept of &quot;being hungry&quot;. It took some time for her to be sure at what feeling this word linked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it happened many times (ans still happens now at 4.5 years) that some weeks she will eat a ton, and some other weeks she will eat almost nothing (sometimes just an apple or two for a day). However, it seems to fit her perfectly fine. When she eats a lot, she grows one or two centimeters in the next days, and after that she spend days eating much less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to sum up : Do not worry, keep proposing food you have  when he says he's hungry, and don't force him to choose and eat something. If he changes subject, changes subject, maybe he'll eat next time. Do not worry, as his behaviors seems perfectly normal to me. If he seldom eat for the day, then he didn't need to eat that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T06:50:17.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22179" CreationDate="2015-09-22T07:48:38.407" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It could be that the open-ended question of &quot;what do you want to eat&quot; is too difficult for him, and listing everything in the cupboard is overwhelming. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See if he could more easily answer a choice type of question like &quot;do you want peas or broccoli? and with that do you want rice or pasta?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if he still doesn't answer, provide him with a variety (4 or 5) healthy foods from each of the food groups at meal times and let him pick. We follow the &lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php&quot;&gt;Ellyn Satter division of responsibility in feeding&lt;/a&gt;: parents being the ones responsible for what to offer and when mealtimes will be, and the kid's responsibility to choose how much and whether to eat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T07:48:38.407" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22178" CreationDate="2015-09-22T11:57:01.463" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to the world of special needs parenting!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, to address your immediate concern, my mom learned to read braille as an adult as part of her occupational therapy assistant job to teach it to a blind child.  It wasn't terribly difficult to learn it well enough to teach the child at the same pace he was learning it.  You don't have to memorize it, do it by feel, or at a rapid pace like she will, although you will probably end up naturally being able to read most of the characters by sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the thing about special needs parenting is the view is &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; different to an experienced insider than what you might see on a Hollywood movie or even from a friend or relative.  My mom was teaching braille way before smart phones with cameras and text recognition were cheap and ubiquitous, but computers had already begun to displace much of the need for braille.  You will discover other technologies that are surprisingly more useful than braille and other challenges that are surprisingly more challenging than reading.  Try not to worry too much until you start to work on her actual individual needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2015-09-22T13:38:21.773" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T13:38:21.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2790" CreationDate="2015-09-22T17:06:59.470" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess it would depend on the practices of the clinic you are seeing.  My doctor's clinic have hired a nurse to help them with the patient traffic as the clinic has gotten super busy.  So the nurse may do things like ask and record questions, do weigh-ins, blood pressure etc., just to save time, but the doctor will do the examinations and answer specific questions that patients may have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you do see your doctor, it would be a good idea to be prepared with very specific questions to ask to see if your doctor is in fact a good fit for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19111" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2018-04-04T17:04:03.647" LastActivityDate="2018-04-04T17:04:03.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22154" CreationDate="2015-09-22T18:17:07.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's something you might consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sit him down and very seriously tell him that you have been thinking about what he has been telling you, and you will give him the chance to prove what he said; that he really doesn't need to go to school any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to him that the purpose of school is to prepare him for getting a job so he can support himself.  Does he need to continue going to school or can he stop?  Tell him that if he is able to get a job making enough money that he can support himself, he can stop going to school.  Sit down and figure out how much his rent is going to be.  His food.  Clothing.  Extras.  He'll get a better deal at home than he would outside, but let him consider all the alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him everybody needs to work to get what they need.  That's just the way life is.  It isn't fair for some to work and others not to have to.  Kids work in school.  Adults work at a paying job.  If he wants the privileges of being an adult (choosing not to go to school) he needs to prove that he is able to handle adulthood.  If he can make enough money to support himself now then his complaints have merit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he makes an effort to participate, you have something to work with.  Make deals with him.  If he is willing to work, but truly doesn't consider school worth his time, let him try it out (you may have to wait for summer to actually implement this, but you can lay the groundwork now).  It's a pretty safe bet that he won't be able to earn enough that he doesn't have to supplement his income with school time on the side, but let him find that out himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get more of the sulky, whiny same, then he is just trying to get away with living a life where he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't &quot;want to&quot;.  Obviously, this is a very bad sign and you will have a tough road ahead of you to convince him that he cannot skate through life expecting to get whatever he wants without having to work for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he do chores?  If not, that may have been a contributing factor.  My kids know if they want things they have to work for them.  My son does the dishes and my daughter does the laundry; this is how they earn the $40 we pay each month for them to have smart phones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As adults most of us know that life isn't about only doing the fun things.  We have to do the un-fun things in order to earn to fun.  School is his job.  Treat it like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my kids were very young we implemented the &quot;golden penny&quot; system.  They received pennies spray painted with gold for everything they did worthy of being rewarded.  brushing their teeth well, cleaning their rooms, getting good grades.  Then, whenever they asked me for something &quot;Mommy...I want that toy...&quot; I just told them it would cost x golden pennies; did they have enough?  If so, they got the toy.  If not, they needed to save up.  It eliminated any sort of whining at me in the stores because they knew what they needed to do in order to get what they wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously your son is too old for golden pennies, but introducing him to the idea that everything in life that he wants is going to have a cost may help.  My rule of thumb is if is it something I want them to have (nutritious food, sensible clothing, etc), they get it without paying. If they ask for it, usually they have to &quot;pay&quot; for it.  Maybe if you treat school like a job and he has to earn all his treats and toys, being paid according to his grades, that would give him an actual goal worth working toward.  It may seem counterintuitive, but my son was actually &lt;em&gt;happier&lt;/em&gt; having to earn his computer time than he was when he just got it for free.  It's a fact of human nature that we don't value the things we get for free as much as we value things we pay for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will admit that it hasn't worked as well as I would have wished on my twelve year old son.  He would rather play computer games and do without all the &quot;cool stuff&quot; he wishes he could have (anything Star Wars related, every new game that he finds on eBay, etc) than get a job (I offered to help him create a flyer to distribute in the neighborhood advertising his services as a dog walker or lawn mower) but it has completely eliminated the &quot;aww, Mom, pleeeezzzse&quot; factor and he did spend the entire day taking everything out of our garage, hosing and scrubbing the floor, and putting it all back in order to earn the $100 deductible for replacing the cell phone after he broke it for the second time.  So at least he's moving in the right direction :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T18:17:07.663" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22166" CreationDate="2015-09-22T18:24:13.657" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer is a slight twist on @Erica's excellent one, and it even worked for much younger kids (worked at an intelligent 7 year old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anytime the child does something (or in this case, wants you to do something - hire a maid) - that costs $X, you explain to him which parts of the luxuries of life you provide cost $X. And I mean in hard currency #s, on a spreadsheet - not just conceptually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A maid visit for 6 hours on a weekend costs $120 = $500/month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your share of the chores is 1/4th assuming 4 family members = $125/month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your cell phone plan costs $40/month, your computer games cost $20/month, your fancy fashionable cloths cost $100/month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pick $125/month off those luxuries you're willing to go without, and you get a maid for your personal chores&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T18:24:13.657" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22190" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-22T18:41:05.643" Score="6" ViewCount="9001" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby boy is 6 months old and he can sit up but loses his balance sometimes and when he tries to crawl he half crawls. He will crawl just a little then jumps forward and will hit his head/face and tries to army crawl (mostly in the play pen).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have hardwood floor in the living room and carpet in the bedroom so I've been letting him play on the floor in the bedroom. He is starting to sit up a lot better but still falls over. I usually catch him before he falls but the other day I didn't catch him in time and he hit the back of his head on the floor which scared me more than it did him.  He wants to play on the floor in the living room but, with it being hardwood floor, I'm scared to death. I'm also still scared of him playing in the bedroom because I'm afraid it's going to hurt him by hitting his head with him being so little but he is trying to learn to crawl and explore. I don't want to take that away from him but my anxiety kicks in when he hits his head. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a first time mother so I'm still getting the hang of things. But is he okay to play on the floor in the living room and if he hits his head? I'm afraid of brain injuries, please remember I'm new to this and worry myself silly on everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19114" LastEditorUserId="25436" LastEditDate="2017-04-26T08:06:07.587" LastActivityDate="2017-04-26T08:06:07.587" Title="My six-month-old son is trying to sit up and crawl. I'm scared of the potential for an injury" Tags="|crawling|injury|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22190" CreationDate="2015-09-22T18:58:45.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A fall from crawling height never hurt anyone.  Worst case, they might bite their lip a bit.  A fall from standing height is usually okay too.  Check with your pediatrician, but if your baby falls, even if they cry, if they are easily consoled, and they are moving their arms and legs normally, seem happy a few minutes later, don't lose consciousness, don't throw up, etc, they are fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, a fall from baby standing height onto their hands or butt is fine, even on hardwood.  Your baby has to learn, and that's going to mean some falls, and maybe even a few bruises.  It's fine.  You don't have to hover, you don't have to catch them.  Protect their head from falling onto the corner of the coffee table, but other than that, they'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One &lt;b&gt;really&lt;/b&gt; important safety tip, make sure if there are any stairs in your house that they are gated.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_falls-what-to-do-when-a-baby-or-toddler-gets-a-bump-on-the-h_397.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_falls-what-to-do-when-a-baby-or-toddler-gets-a-bump-on-the-h_397.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastEditorUserId="9368" LastEditDate="2015-09-23T23:08:54.783" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T23:08:54.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22192" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22209" CreationDate="2015-09-22T19:37:29.320" Score="3" ViewCount="571" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can I explain the negative effects of spanking to someone &lt;strong&gt;who isn't a philosopher, behavior specialist etc.?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know how to cite various studies, but when spanking comes up as a casual topic, I'd like to know the basic, simplified reasoning behind warning against spanking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13749" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-24T12:09:54.947" LastActivityDate="2019-09-24T12:09:54.947" Title="How can I explain the negative effects of spanking to someone who isn't a philosopher, behavior specialist etc?" Tags="|communication|corporal-punishment|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22166" CreationDate="2015-09-22T20:37:00.740" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe show him &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND7yJ7sMosk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this video&lt;/a&gt;, just for a laugh.  Seriously, though, I'm guessing it's not a problem of comprehension. I'm a big fan of Kadzin's Everyday Parenting Toolkit.  His approach (a behavioral science approach) recommends positively reinforcing specific behaviors that you do like. This requires close supervision and immediate reinforcement, though; so a general reminder with no follow up is likely to fail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A typical intervention would include the ABC's of parenting. A is for antecedent -- how do you set up your son to succeed in doing the thing you want him to do.  Are you right there with him?  Do you walk up and ask him very politely to please do the thing you want?  A shouted reminder is less likely to succeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B is for behavior -- you need to know the behavior you are reinforcing.  If you goal is to have him do it without you asking, you are likely to need to have intermediate goals that get him to that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;C is for consequences.  Positive reinforcement is generally the most effective consequence.  A warm and genuine &quot;thank you&quot; and -- if they will tolerate it -- a hug. Negative consequences are generally far less effective because they provide negative reinforcement for the unwanted behavior rather than positive reinforcement of the wanted behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book outlines far more sophisticated strategies and much more detail.  I highly recommend it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13544" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-22T23:35:07.873" LastActivityDate="2015-09-22T23:35:07.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22198" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22199" CreationDate="2015-09-23T02:57:12.907" Score="5" ViewCount="21959" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've read different things online about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I pump breastmilk to feed to my little one. I'm currently boiling the pump bottle and the feeding bottle everyday at the start of the day, but if I use the same bottle through the day for breastmilk, do I need to sterilize it by boiling again? My little one is 1 month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I dump the milk from the pump bottle into the feeding bottle because baby likes it better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17336" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-23T13:19:16.913" LastActivityDate="2019-01-23T13:20:49.283" Title="When pumping breast milk, can I reuse the bottle after feeding without sterilizing?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|hygiene|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22198" CreationDate="2015-09-23T06:11:59.120" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/should-you-sterilize-your-babys-bottles&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In the old days when water supplies were not reliably clean, it made&#xA;  sense to sterilize baby bottles. But now, sterilizing bottles,&#xA;  nipples, and water is mostly unnecessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Unless your water supply is suspected to harbor contaminated bacteria,&#xA;  it is as safe for your baby as it is for you. There is no reason to&#xA;  sterilize what is already safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, if you sterilize everything around your baby all the time, many believe it could &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/allergies/news/20140606/too-clean-homes-may-encourage-child-allergies-asthma-study&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;increase likelihood of becoming allergic&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend that you clean your bottles with a dish-brush because there are areas within a bottle that can't be cleaned effectively by a washing machine (resulting in massive bacteria buildup).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4172" LastEditorUserId="4172" LastEditDate="2015-09-23T07:47:37.717" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T07:47:37.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22198" CreationDate="2015-09-23T06:20:18.047" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some old rule I remember some old person telling me was to boil all the stuff in hot water every week but only on saturdays. In my local language saturday is cleaning day. The other days the stuff would just get cleaning like the other dining utensils.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if the doctor has advised other treatment, than that should be followed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A way to sanitize sensitive stuff that can not handle the boiling is to use 1 part of Vinegar (4-8% CH3COOH) with 9 parts water -&gt; (0,4-0,8% CH3COOH), and submerge the items for 3 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastEditorUserId="5008" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T07:19:56.160" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T07:19:56.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22009" CreationDate="2015-09-23T06:31:14.453" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make a big family meeting with the parents of all the home every two months to make some framework that the child can learn to trust (including all the children every other meeting).  There will always be variance to how much each parent will fudge the framework, but it is still there even when fudged and the child can then demand that the framework is followed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this is begin implemented, for tials and errors, then do the meeting every two weeks for 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The city where I live dose this with all the different agencies that are taking care of children, bringing the teacher, special ed, the sport coach, and even the music school and free time personal to such a gathered meeting including all the parents to find a common framework.  perhaps this is something that all the parents can demand and use a room at the childs school for this framework meeting. Sometimes there is also a socialworker, physiatrist and other therapy people from different agents that have somethign to do with the childs wellbegin. Include them. Invite them.  if the child will get the support that it needs now, then thwew will be much less cost and problems later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had more than one fosterchild and these meetings work well to coordinate everyone for the task of making a single framework for the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T06:31:14.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22198" CreationDate="2015-09-23T07:59:22.207" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As explained by Gruber's answer, sterilizing the bottles is usually completely unnecessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a risk of buildup of harmful germs if the bottles are left to stand for too long with (rests of) milk inside. So while sterilizing is probably not required, you should wash them regularly and thoroughly, and refrigerate the milk as soon as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The recommendations I know are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use a &lt;strong&gt;fresh (i.e. washed) bottle/container everytime you pump&lt;/strong&gt;, and put it into the fridge immediately after pumping (unless you feed right away). If you keep using the same container, there is a risk the old milk from previous pumpings will be kept at room temperature for too long. You can pour the freshly pumped milk into the container in the fridge, if the milk is not older than a day - just use a fresh container during pumping.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When feeding your child, only &lt;strong&gt;take as much milk from the fridge as you need&lt;/strong&gt;, and warm it up. If the child does not drink everything, it is best to &lt;strong&gt;discard the rest&lt;/strong&gt; after a few hours, as it has been warm for too long.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Store breast milk refridgerated if possible. Medela (a pump manufacturer) &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.medela.com/breastfeeding/advice/pumping/storing-and-thawing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;recommends&lt;/a&gt; the following &lt;strong&gt;maximum storage times&lt;/strong&gt;:&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;room temperature: 4-6h&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fridge: 3-8 days&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;freezers: 6-12 months. After thawing, keep in fridge for max. 10h.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2015-09-23T08:07:31.457" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T08:07:31.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22204" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-23T08:51:22.720" Score="9" ViewCount="389" Body="&lt;p&gt;When playing games against my own kids (sports, cards, board games), I am never sure how competitive should I be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am asking this regarding to two issues: level of play and rules observance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Level of Play&lt;/strong&gt;: Should I play my best even if this let's no chance my daughter to winning? At her current age, I can consistently beat her in chess in 5 to 10 moves. She has other friends, siblings, and cousins she also plays with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Observance of rules&lt;/strong&gt;: My other daughter sometimes does unfair or untrue claims regarding the game and the rules in order to win. Should I show forgiveness. For example when playing soccer she can claim the ball left the bounds of the field while it clearly did not.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In computer games, which I also like to play with my daughters - there is no place to disagree on the rules or how they apply, but the first issue of level of play is still there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19124" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T11:05:48.870" Title="How competitive or forgiving to be when playing games against my own kids" Tags="|behavior|sports|play|rules|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22204" CreationDate="2015-09-23T09:38:47.197" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say the basic premise is to always encourage progression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stage 1&lt;/strong&gt; is to ensure they can do the basics - can they dribble and pass a football or do they know how each chess piece can move? For example, my infant son can't control his direction of travel whilst dribbling a ball, so I ignore the boundaries of the pitch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stage 2&lt;/strong&gt; is for you to demonstrate additional skills or tactics (mini-drills - in or out of game). Say things like, &quot;look if you take my pawn this turn, you'll be able to move towards check next turn&quot; to expose them to the basic tactics of the game. With football(soccer) this could be you demonstrating the specific part of the foot to kick with to shoot in the air or keep the ball along the ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stage 3&lt;/strong&gt; is to provide (obvious) scenarios for your child to use those techniques. If they don't seem to take advantage, go back to stage 2 (for that element). With chess, this could be always opening yourself up to &quot;fool's mate&quot; until your daughter spots it and capitalises. Likewise with football, if you're in goal, leave your legs wide open to see if your child realises they can kick through your legs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stage 4&lt;/strong&gt;. Once you know they have a reasonable arsenal to use against you, up your level of play to become more competitive. It's usually fairly easy to gauge when a child is getting frustrated, so avoid working them too hard. Try to keep most of the play fun for them, pushing their boundaries occasionally (depending on their age and temperament). The level can vary as they start to improve, but ideally you should let them reap the benefits (win) when they start to make leaps forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they can genuinely compete, do so (&lt;strong&gt;Stage 5&lt;/strong&gt;). Just remember that being a good sport / losing every so often will make you more fun to play with and will probably help to hold their interest longer-term. Even as an adult, there aren't many people who continue with an activity if they always lose against their friends - if you're obviously better you have nothing to prove.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9980" LastEditorUserId="9980" LastEditDate="2015-09-23T09:48:01.007" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T09:48:01.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22206" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22210" CreationDate="2015-09-23T10:33:45.237" Score="8" ViewCount="583" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard that pumping little milk out might not be an indication of low milk supply. My wife has been pumping and getting 30ml in 20 minutes, while I've been told that a newborn usually needs 50-60ml each feeding at 1 month. Can anybody talk on this point or has actual experience to confirm what I've read? My baby is currently under average weight, and on the low side of the normal band (he was born above average, had jaunice and underwent phototherapy), I was wondering if it might be a milk supply issue and if pumping out little milk is proof of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is staying at home and exclusively trying to feed him without the pump and bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17336" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-17T13:49:46.243" LastActivityDate="2019-01-17T13:52:08.127" Title="Is milk supply when pumping not an indication of actual milk supply?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22192" CreationDate="2015-09-23T11:32:31.127" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm neither a philosopher nor a behaviour specialist, but my reasoning goes along these lines (and doesn't come with any warranty): Young kids learn to deal with everyday life by copying/imitating whatever their parents do. Until a certain age they consider that anything that parent does is &lt;strong&gt;the right thing to do&lt;/strong&gt;. What they don't understand at 2 or 3 is &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; rules need to be followed. So, when you get angry with them and spank them they realise something like &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Daddy is spanking me because he doesn't like when I do 'X'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Daddy is spanking because doing 'X' was wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, when they are spanked, they learn that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;it is OK to spank/hit people who do things that make me angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T11:32:31.127" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22206" CreationDate="2015-09-23T12:05:26.137" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The amount you can pump is 100% definitely &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; an indication of low supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all: Is baby actually breastfeeding or is your wife trying to exclusively pump? If baby is feeding 'straight from the source' then he/she will &lt;strong&gt;always&lt;/strong&gt; be getting more than a pump can extract. It's all down to the hormonal connection between mother and baby, whereas a pump is a foreign object that the body does not respect in the same way as baby. Babies are just more efficient at removing milk from the breast and some women don't respond well to their pump at all. There are ways to possibly increase the output to a pump but they aren't guaranteed to work. Your wife could try breast compressions before pumping, a warm flannel on the breasts before pumping, looking at a picture of little one while pumping, fenugreek supplements, eat more oats (great excuse to eat hob nobs :-) ), drink more water... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your baby being below average... It doesn't matter as long as he/she is growing, meeting milestones and giving an adequate amount of poos and wees :) There are so many other things than the size of baby that indicate a successful breastfeeding relationship. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19127" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-17T13:52:08.127" LastActivityDate="2019-01-17T13:52:08.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22192" CreationDate="2015-09-23T12:09:04.213" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took a sociology course in college and one of the main topics was spanking and how it is harmful. The professor taught us many reasons, such as the adult is showing the child that physical harm is an acceptable means of control, that the child cannot trust the adult, that since spanking is rarely a consistent behavior (especially because the parent is not around the child most of the time) this does not consistently reinforce the change of behavior, and the child learns that the appropriate first response to poor behavior is anger and causing physical pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Research on Spanking: It’s Bad for ALL Kids&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It undermines trust. Children trust their parents just a little less. They are more likely to step back from the relationship and build a self-protective shield around themselves in terms of relationships generally. Children can learn to mistrust the motives of others and become more threat reactive in social situations. It can lead to aggressive expectations—they are ready to aggress first before they are aggressed against.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spanking does not convey positive guidance on how to behave in a particular situation, only how not to behave if a threat of punishment is at hand. Children learn positive behaviors from practicing actions that work, ones that lead to a sense of belonging and competence. They internalize what they practice and what their family practices. They learn reasons for their actions from what they hear and are told, but active practice has the deepest impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also see &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/spanking/10-reasons-not-hit-your-child&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;10 Reasons Not to Hit Your Child&lt;/a&gt; from Dr. Sears, a well respected pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can put your reasoning is layman terms fairly easily once you learn the basic concepts. Try to think about what kind of explanation you would find helpful if you were being told the reasons. Think more about the most obvious reasons first, like hitting shows the child that hitting is ok and that it is traumatic to be physically punished. Then try to make the more scientific concepts simplified, such as how it has been demonstrated that this method of behavioral modification is ineffective, by saying something like how researchers have examined the problems with spanking and have proved that spanking over time doesn't not make things better. You can direct people to particular sites that have simpler explanations, rather than showing them direct studies. So essentially my suggestion is that you do extensive research yourself and once you have a fuller understanding of the many reasons why spanking is a bad choice then you will be able to easily take that knowledge and break it down for people who need it simplified. Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19108" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:11:36.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22198" CreationDate="2015-09-23T12:16:47.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As others have said, sterilizing is not necessary as long as you give the bottles a good cleaning in warm water with soap. Make sure that the nipple is cleaned thoroughly. Most manufacturers recommend in the packaging of their products to sterilize before first use, which is what I did for my kids. It's just to get out any residue from the factory. Otherwise, I never sterilized my kids bottles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breast milk stays safe for much longer than formula, so if you are using breast milk you can leave it out for several hours without any harm coming to it. If you do end up using formula (I did for my kids) then you have to be very careful because formula does not last long without becoming harmful, because bacteria build up quickly, so in that case you will need to wash bottles more frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So as a general answer, there is no need to sterilize, just do a good washing in between uses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19108" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-23T13:20:49.283" LastActivityDate="2019-01-23T13:20:49.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22162" CreationDate="2015-09-23T12:29:27.010" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is very normal and expected for a toddler to say no and find it fun to say it. They like to use new words as much as possible to explore how it feels to say it and to see your reaction to how he uses it. You can try to create situations where he won't be able to use it, but is challenging and he may say it regardless of what you do because he doesn't have a full understanding of the purpose and effects of using the word. I've found that with every challenge with my kids such as this that the most effective way to deal with it is to continue to reinforce that it is only acceptable in certain situations and to keep reinforcing good manners. Also, make sure that your reaction to his behavior is as even as possible, without showing too much emotion around it. It's hard at 1.5 - he is still so young. But it will get easier and before you know it that won't be an issue and he'll be on to something else that is problematic :) Don't feel bad or give up if it takes a long time for this to pass. Try responding by having him say yes instead of no, just to get him to the point of using both words and as he grows older he will learn to differentiate for appropriate situations. When he says no you can correct him and when he says yes or some other answer that you wanted you should praise him a lot, using hugs, tickles, stickers, or whatever you think he'd enjoy. I've found that very helpful with my kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19108" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T12:29:27.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8437" CreationDate="2015-09-23T12:36:36.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4.5 year old and she doesn't like to get up either :) Sometimes if there is something exciting coming I'll remind her that, for example, a friend's birthday party will be in a couple days and if she gets up she'll be one day closer to getting to go. Anything exciting she can look forward to always works. Singing songs, turning on the lights in increments, like the nightlight first, then the overhead lights or a lamp, telling her she can wear her special princess shoes on the way to school. Anything exciting and interesting really does it for her. Challenging her to get her teeth brushed in record time is exciting. Stuff like that :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19108" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T12:36:36.583" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22190" CreationDate="2015-09-23T13:42:10.543" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are never going to be able to protect him from all possible falling, tripping, stumbling, etc scenarios. And you shouldn't try to. Just ensure the environment is free of sharp edges, that it's baby-proofed, that there is as little chance of a serious injury as possible. And let your child explore the safe zone freely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hard wood is actually not that hard. Stone, tiles, metal - these are really hard surfaces and about falling on them you should be more worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An infant is very unlikely to sustain serious injury when falling from its own height. If your boy falls a few times and you &quot;save&quot; him, he may start enjoying it - the sensation of falling - and thinking it's some kind of play and even start doing it on purpose. If he, however, hits his head a few times - he'll very, very soon learn to be careful when sitting and crawling. I've been in your position about a year ago, trust me, that's how it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T13:42:10.543" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22216" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-23T14:02:53.470" Score="2" ViewCount="9030" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have 7 children ages 24, 18, 12, 12 (adopted niece), 5, 3, 2 (adopted niece).  All of our biological children who are school aged and beyond are well above average in school except for my 5-year-old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to have issues with comprehension.  I said to him yesterday, &quot;a big purple elephant rides a green bike.&quot;  I then asked him what color the elephant was - I cannot recall the exact answer, but it was not related to the question at all.  He seemed like he had something else on his mind (like he had some playing to do); but the question seemed so simple...why couldn't he answer it?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He just turned 5 in March and started school this year.  His comprehension papers are always low scores; like a 75%!!  I admit there was some neglect during his most crucial years (19 months to present) because we had to take in my 9-year-old niece nearly four years ago with severe behavioral problems (and all symptoms of Asperger's that I feel was due to neglect at home from an eccentric, overreacting type of mother who took Rx meds, illicit drugs, and slept all day).  We spent so, so much of our time trying to correct her that I feel my son was neglected; and that kills my heart to know he was sacrificed for her! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since my son was 2, he has known his colors, ABCs, and numbers because I always put on videos and would sing and dance with him to learn these, he can write letters, he knows their sounds, etc., but it's just comprehension he struggles with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if this matters much, but he loves hugs and kisses and loves to snuggle; but I do have to force him to look into my eyes.  He whines about having to do that, squints his eyes, and makes crying sounds.  If I don't force him, he seems to have his eyes to the side like he's really taking in what you're saying (or maybe he's thinking of the toys he wants to go play with, I don't know...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's also a very picky eater...very!  I have to force him to eat dinner every night!  I have a suspicion he's not eating lunch at school, so I send him with an extra snack...that he isn't eating because it comes back home.  When I ask him what he had for lunch, he'll say milk - when I ask what else he had, he'll say, &quot;I don't know.&quot;  How can he not remember??  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some days he comes home whining, pitching fits, and screaming about whatever it is that's not going his way.  I notice on those days, he falls asleep early (he usually gets about 10 hours of sleep per night). He wakes up every morning saying he's not going to school...but once he's up and ready, he runs toward the door.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he comes home moody and whiny, it's hard to get him to calm down because everything I say he misinterprets and gets more upset!  Why can't he understand simple comprehension?  I have started reading 2 to 3 books to him per night in hopes this will help.  I ask questions (that he answers incorrectly), I animate the story, use voices, and even sing and clap.  I suppose only time will tell if that helps any.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband is extremely upset about this and very remorseful for adopting my niece, who he says essentially put a dark cloud over our home since day one.  We adopted her mainly because I am very loyal to my family...but my husband did not want to adopt her and wanted her gone (we found out she was secretly hurting our son when no one was looking).  Either way, I couldn't just let her go (the state labeled her as &quot;unadoptable&quot;) and my husband reluctantly agreed to adopt her for me.  He is now regretting allowing the adoption because he feels our son's issues are related to him seeing my niece's behavior the last nearly four years, and I think he's right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any insight, input, suggestions, or even possible reasons for his lack of understanding?  I love my son so very much!!  Any help would be GREATLY appreciated!! TIA&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19129" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T16:34:18.060" Title="My 5-year-old son seems to lack in comprehension" Tags="|health|education|bedtime|learning|special-education|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2016-06-05T10:03:38.457" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22216" CreationDate="2015-09-23T16:08:26.540" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, stop the blaming.  Don't blame yourself.  Don't blame your adopted nieces.  It will never help make this any better and will only foster hatred within your family.  And that hatred can be incredibly poisonous and destructive.  Deal with that first and foremost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you have enough children that I suspect you know by now that every one is different.  And they each come with their own set of challenges.  What was easy for your 24 year old might be hard for your 12 year old.  And what comes naturally to your 18 year old might have been a struggle for the 24 year old.  Your son's comprehension problem may just be his challenge.  Again, it's not your fault, his fault or anyone else's fault.  It may just be part of being him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what is it?  I'm no medical / child development professional so all this is just speculation.  My gut feeling is that he may just have a hard time concentrating.  Have you ever been talking with someone while thinking or worrying about something else then they ask you a question and you snap back to the here and now and realize you have no idea what was said in the last 5 minutes?  If you are anything like me, it has happens at least every once in a while.  My gut feeling is that your son may just be easily distracted or is otherwise having a hard time concentrating / paying attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems like a bright kid, but everything you listed about his abilities strikes me as being things that are learned by repetition.  Since the comprehension problem you describe is more about things he has heard once and not many many times, it feels like he may just not be paying attention the first time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What causes this and how to fix it?  Again, not being there with him or being a medical professional I can't say.  Could it be medical?  ADD?  Auditory problem?  Maybe.  You could have him checked out and at least confirm something like that or rule it out all together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other things you could try doing is work on his concentration and attention span.  Try doing things he likes or doing things with him that take longer than a few minutes.  Have him help and keep him engaged in what is going on.  Ask lots of questions and gently correct him if necessary.  And gradually ramp up the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all make sure he knows you love him and that you are trying to help him (especially if this problem frustrates him).  Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T16:08:26.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2494" CreationDate="2015-09-23T20:36:40.973" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 13 month old daughter who has been sitting perfectly since approximately 6 months, but she refuses to crawl, walk, or even stand either at furniture or with my support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She recently had her 1 year review with the health visitor who has advised me that this is nothing to worry about as long as she is developing appropriately in other ways (i.e., weight gain, height, etc.) and that I should give her until 18 months to find her feet as she can not be referred for any tests etc. until then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had this health visitor with my older 5 children so am completely happy with her advice, and think you should speak to your health visitor too who will most probably say the same providing there are no other concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don't allow other parents opinions or other children's development to cloud you into thinking your child should be doing certain things at a certain age, they are all different and will do it in their own time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19136" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T11:57:50.027" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T11:57:50.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22225" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-23T20:54:43.500" Score="7" ViewCount="5503" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2.5-year-old daughter and we're fighting over everything. Literally everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she is alone with someone she is good most of the time, however when there are two of us with her, she wants to control who does what. Our main problem is when she says &quot;I want mommy/daddy to do X&quot; and we want another person to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, If I attempt to put on her diaper, she will often say &quot;I want mommy to put on my diaper&quot; and it will become a total chaos. We can't explain to her that, for example, mommy is in the shower and I will put the diaper on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or who will read stories to her, who will feed her, who will add her something, who will close the doors, who will call an elevator, who will... you get the point...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is that we're fighting over totally bizarre and irrelevant things and for her it does not matter how big it is, she will push until the end, she will start crying and will be on the verge of a breakdown, barely able to talk from how much she cried and screamed...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is also very &quot;rule-based&quot; and if I don't do something I should have done, she will start crying in a second. For example, if I leave the house without kissing them, or if I flush a toilet and she wanted to do that, or something small like that..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We really don't know what to do, we really feel like we're losing the control over our lives. My wife is with her all day and when I come home she will often want her to do something while I want to help her and it is really frustrating...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to note: She is not doing stuff like &quot;you can't make me to do that&quot; or something like that. She just wants her way and she does not have a reason. If we ask her why do you want mommy she never gives a sound reason, she just says &quot;because&quot;... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19138" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-09T12:39:47.650" LastActivityDate="2019-04-09T12:39:47.650" Title="What to do about my toddler wanting everything her way?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|tantrums|rules|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22009" CreationDate="2015-09-23T21:00:42.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer depends upon the relationship you have with the other parents involved.  If your relationships are amicable, Kari is right that coordination is the first and best solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Barring that, the only thing you can do is be very consistent with your rules.  You must allow that there will be an amount adjustment time each time the child comes to your home to stay.  Just let her know how much you love her, and praise and reward her when she stays on task and follows the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, there is no ideal solution to such a chaotic situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6246" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T21:00:42.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22227" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-23T21:44:09.637" Score="6" ViewCount="439" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has begun to lie fairly frequently over the past couple of months. He used to tell lies by making up stories that were fantastic and clearly not true. He has recently graduated to telling &quot;bold face&quot; lies. For example, when asked recently if he brushed his teeth, he calmly said &quot;yes.&quot; My wife and I knew that he had not brushed his teeth, so we asked if he was sure. He calmly answered &quot;yes&quot; again. We then said that we were going to check if the brush was wet. His eyes got wide and he said &quot;No! Don't do that!&quot; We scolded him for this (verbally, no punishment was issued), but it doesn't seem to have helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that kids lie occasionally and it would not be realistic at all to expect that his lying would stop completely. However, it has gotten to a frequency and severity that is unacceptable lately. Can anyone recommend measures that my wife and I should take to abate this bad behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2085" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T08:39:15.490" Title="How can I abate my son's growing habit of lying?" Tags="|discipline|lying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22228" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22268" CreationDate="2015-09-23T21:51:24.120" Score="4" ViewCount="724" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 8 years old and still sucks his thumb. We have been trying to encourage him to stop for years (talking with him about it, telling him to get his thumb out of his mouth when we catch him, etc.). None of what we have tried has worked. Also, it is causing oral problems (e.g. crooked teeth). Nobody has made fun of him at school (as far as we know), but we suspect that he only does it when around family and when he is alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any advice on how to get him to break this habit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2085" LastActivityDate="2017-01-04T16:07:14.293" Title="How can I encourage my son (age 8) to stop sucking his thumb?" Tags="|thumb-sucking|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22216" CreationDate="2015-09-23T22:36:34.603" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that you should NOT blame anyone. You are very kind to take in troubled family. You should not blame your niece either, and I hope you get professional help with her behavioral problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the things sound very normal. My 4.5 year old cannot remember what he did in school. I ask him about his lunch, who he played with, what lessons the teacher gave (he is in a Montessori pre-school) and he cannot answer. He is too tired at the end of the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not being able to repeat back to you at ALL times seems a little easily distracted, though, but I am no medical professional. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way you can make it a game, or about something he is VERY interested in? my kid has 'selective hearing' - ignores me if I ask him to do something while he is engrossed in play, but if I mention 'cake' or 'chocolate', the play is a less engrossing, all of a sudden ;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned, I would see a professional in child development. Do you have a therapist or psychologist you see with your niece that you trust? Or you can simply start with expressing your concerns to your pediatrician.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-09-23T22:36:34.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22230" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-23T23:15:23.037" Score="3" ViewCount="1820" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 29 weeks pregnant and has been smoking the drug &quot;flakka&quot; (bath salts, pvp, and crystal meth mixed). She has gone to one doctor appointment, but she is scared the Department of Children and Families (DCF) will take the baby so she won't go anymore. She is not findable. Can the baby suffer damage and what type?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19139" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T01:26:59.470" LastActivityDate="2016-11-17T11:35:46.853" Title="PREGNANT ON Flaka-PVP" Tags="|pregnancy|drugs|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-11-16T03:52:29.927" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22232" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22236" CreationDate="2015-09-24T04:50:56.440" Score="3" ViewCount="642" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are thinking about getting a baby carrier. Our child is one month old. All of the carriers require his neck to be vertical, though the head is protected from moving side to side. The grandparents are saying that the baby's neck can't be vertical for a while and it's common knowledge. We know that his head needs to be protected from moving side to side because he doesn't have control yet. But if the carrier secures the head, is it ok if his neck is vertical? Grandparents are saying the head is too heavy and puts pressure on the bottom of the neck. But all baby carriers are designed this way. You would think the manufacturers thought about the neck vertical issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17336" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-10T12:14:56.167" LastActivityDate="2019-09-10T12:14:56.167" Title="Is it okay for a baby's head to be vertical in a baby carrier?" Tags="|newborn|development|health|transport|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21918" CreationDate="2015-09-24T05:25:42.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Self harm is a serious issue. I could write yet &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;another article&lt;/a&gt; on the subject where I could also cite that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;15 percent of kids and teens engage in self-harm&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;~ Deborah Serani, PsyD in &quot;Depression and Your Child&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personaly I would model &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/c8YnE.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;meditation&lt;/a&gt; as a starting point while searching for the physiological remidies that target the compulsive self-harm behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5008" LastEditorUserId="5008" LastEditDate="2015-10-04T01:08:38.980" LastActivityDate="2015-10-04T01:08:38.980" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22232" CreationDate="2015-09-24T06:27:48.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what kind of carrier you had in mind, but these are definitely safe from 1 month onwards: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a559735/buying-a-sling-or-front-carrier&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a559735/buying-a-sling-or-front-carrier&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T06:27:48.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22232" CreationDate="2015-09-24T06:39:16.487" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Women have been carrying newborns in a cloth wrap/sling since about... forever. Carriers are virtually modified slings, with some added safety measures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both are deemed safe. Especially if you use them for only limited amount of time and from time to time, which is probably the case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/baby-sling/faq-20058208&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/baby-sling/faq-20058208&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/sling/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/sling/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T06:39:16.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22232" CreationDate="2015-09-24T07:59:54.913" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Investing in a carrying device is a good choice - it allows you freedom of movement without a stroller and most babies love being close to a parent's body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regard to the grandparents' concern, if the head doesn't &quot;flop around&quot; when you move, you should be fine. If you carry your child in your arms, you probably do so in a (semi-)upright position anyway - or will soon, many babies prefer being carried upright. Then the head, while putting &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; pressure on the spine usually is supported by leaning against your chest or shoulder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet not all carriers are created equal - before you select one, do some research on proper hip, back and neck support. For very small and fragile babies, some carriers are &quot;too large&quot; to support them properly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be able to carry a baby (semi-) horizontally, no standard carrier will offer you this option. Slings, on the other hand, can be tied in a way that the baby can be worn in a horizontal position as early as day one. Like carriers, slings come in different qualities, especially the length, stiffness/elasticity ratio and quality of materials are essential. I suggest you check out the products of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.didymos.de/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Didymos&lt;/a&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;, they are even used for premature babies in neonatal clinics. &lt;em&gt;And, if this calms your grandparents, these babies are carried upright as well, see the picture &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.didymos.de/en/DIDYService/Carrying-lessons-and-Training/Fruehgeborenen-Workshop/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; (text in German, sorry).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; I have no affiliation with this company, I'm only a happy customer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-09-24T08:25:04.013" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T08:25:04.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22204" CreationDate="2015-09-24T11:05:48.870" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree mostly with @Mikaveli but I would like to show another point of view based on my own experience (I cant comment yet so I answer).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a child my father and me played chess, soccer, videogames... But I always felt he was not doing his best. This annoyed me because I wanted real challenges (which he could have given me) but even with him playing hard I always had the doubt about if he could have done better. This attitude (with I understand, as I have a daughter now) made me play in a &quot;relaxed mode&quot; I did not enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, I think the important thing here (and the most difficult thing) is to have a balance between being a teacher and a challenge but first, you may need to know what kind of game your kid wants in that precise moment (I recognise I love challenges but my sister played for relax and amusement mostly) because there will be different learning stages, moods, situations...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope I have been helpful ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19142" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T11:05:48.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22242" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-24T12:19:43.587" Score="28" ViewCount="2752" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are a Spanish family who has recently relocated to England with our children. Our 6 year old boy can't speak nor understand English; he knows some words, basic phrases and a few numbers, but that is all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He keeps saying that he wants to go &quot;back home&quot; and that he doesn't want to live here. We have explained to him that we are here to stay, that our new life is here and that all will be good in the long term, but he rejects the idea and says he will leave as soon as he is 18. I assume in his mind this is temporary, he  thinks he has only to wait those 12 years and be gone (he obviously can't grasp how long 12 years really are).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we try to teach English to him, he does not pay attention, runs away or simply says &quot;I don't know &quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We expected school to help him, staying all day with local children and playing with them and all; but it has had the opposite effect. I can imagine how frustrating it must be to sit all day long in a room full of strangers babbling incomprehensibly, doing things you barely understand and who can't understand a word you say. He is bored, making trouble and will most surely lag behind his classmates as the year goes on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep explaining what is going on, trying to teach him English, and telling him that when he has learned everything will be easier, but to no avail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't know what else we can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There area couple of assistants and a few children at the school that can speak both languages, and they are helping a lot, but they can't spend the whole day helping my son, so in the end he has to fend for himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use Spanish with our children and among ourselves, but watch local TV. We still watch some films with them in Spanish but not much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And just to clarify, or main concern is not if (or when) will he learn English. Our main concern is helping him cope with such a difficult situation and ease the transition as much as possible. I want my children to be happy, an currently he can't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Second edit&lt;/strong&gt; Added involved languages in order to make the question more clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How things have evolved&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;After some weeks going to school, we have come to the conclusion that we were looking at it from the wrong angle. It's not that he refuses to learn because he wants to go back home, the main problem is that he wants to run away from the difficulty of learning the language. Now that he has started to communicate with others, his behaviour and attitudes have improved dramatically. He still needs help, but now we have a clear understanding of what is going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Two years later&lt;/strong&gt; and my son doesn't want to hear about going &quot;back home&quot;. He still has some difficulties, and is definitely lagging behind in reading and writing, but in general terms he is very well adjusted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key was encouragement and help. My wife was asked by the school to stay in class with him, explaining and translating what was going on. Having a familiar person with him helped him settle in and gain confidence. When he was used to the place and people, she gradually left him on his own for longer periods until she didn't come anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And he now switches back and forth between the two languages with no effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6504" LastEditorUserId="6504" LastEditDate="2017-09-13T07:54:38.970" LastActivityDate="2017-09-13T07:54:38.970" Title="Expat child refuses to learn local language" Tags="|primary-schooler|language|bilingual|communication|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22225" CreationDate="2015-09-24T12:39:28.040" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The two's and three's are years of a lot of contrary behavior (I know this from experience with my kids; three is the worst in my opinion -_-). So while that sort of behavior is generally normal, this seems like there is something really bothering her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder if she is feeling some sort of discomfort physically? Or perhaps she is having trouble communicating her feelings, which is totally normal at that age and turns into a big deal often. Two year olds get frustrated very easily and they are too young for you to be able to reason with them as well as with an older child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you ever say to her that her behavior is not the way a big girl behaves and that later when she calms down you can talk to her about what's wrong? I find that helps with my kids. My daughter is 4 now, but I remember at age 3 she found that she needed to calm down because she didn't want to be left to cry - she wanted the attention. It helped her focus on showing us what she needed. In the toddler years everything is a big deal to them, no matter how small. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that it becomes easier for all of you. As far as the rule-based behavior, kids thrive on routine and when life deviates from routines it can be very stressful for them. In time she will learn to handle the flow of life that can interrupt a routine at times. I'm inclined to think that this is more of a phase than a long-lasting issue, but if you are very concerned you should consult her pediatrician for more advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you can search online for guides on how to manage defiant behavior in toddlers, if you haven't already. Good luck to you :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19108" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-06-06T14:07:47.110" LastActivityDate="2018-06-06T14:07:47.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22225" CreationDate="2015-09-24T13:50:55.863" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried providing her with more structured choices? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;When we're done with your diaper do you want an apple or a banana for a snack?&quot;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Do you want to stir the sauce on the stove or put plates on the table?&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Would you like to play with play-doh or coloring books?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe if you answer her &quot;I want &lt;em&gt;other parent&lt;/em&gt; to do X&quot; by just asking her another question where she can be in control you could effectively not participate in her grab for power. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By doing this you would -&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(A) Be ignoring the undesired behavior thus making it less fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(B) Distracting her from her chosen power struggle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(C) Providing a way for her to feel in control and hopefully release some of this &quot;I'm in charge&quot; desire that comes with being 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's worth a try. Just make sure the question is much more exciting than the diaper dilemma. Hint, fun activity or tasty snack etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T13:50:55.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22246" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-24T13:53:24.433" Score="5" ViewCount="2803" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up with my parents divorced. I was 3 when my Dad moved out, and 6 when the divorce was final. This was during the 70's, so my Mom got full custody and we saw Dad for dinner once a week. He was not involved, never came to our sports games, practices, concerts, etc. He didn't know my friends and they didn't know him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I got married, I took my vows seriously. I lived with a narcissistic alcoholic and stayed married for 10 years. We divorced last summer. I put up with more crap than I ever imagined would be possible. I stayed for my daughter. I wanted her life to be better than mine. I wanted her to grow up with her Dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing that he will never put her first breaks my heart. He doesn't show up for her softball or basketball games. He skips taking her to practice on his nights and guilts her into not wanting to participate. I offer to change nights, give him more nights or whatever I can. Because I want better for her than I had. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He barely works and can't afford the gas to come pick her up. So I offer to drop her off, and pick her up. He recently got a DUI, and will be losing his license for 90 days for refusing to take the field sobriety test. So he called and asked if I would talk her out of playing basketball this season, because he wouldn't be able to come. He missed several games last season, and had a license at that time, but constantly chooses his new girlfriend over his daughter. I like the new girlfriend, so I'm not bitter about any of that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that dealing with a narcissist is ridiculously difficult. I know he won't get help. I just want the best for my daughter. I don't know whether to sign her up and watch her be disappointed that he doesn't show up or save her the pain. My heart hurts for her. I'm sick of enabling him, but I do it to protect my daughter. Is it possible that I'm going about all of this in the wrong way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19147" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T07:43:51.207" LastActivityDate="2023-07-04T08:54:47.827" Title="What is best for my child - a narcissist father or no father?" Tags="|divorce|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22225" CreationDate="2015-09-24T15:51:08.180" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is the poster child for strong willed children.  I remember him first testing me when he was 9 months old.  He could not walk but had climbed on a chair and was swinging some pictures that were hanging on a wall.  I picked him up, said &quot;no, no&quot; while pointing at the picture, and put him down on the floor a little ways away.  He went back there, climbed back up on the chair, and did it again.  I again told him no and put him back down on the floor.  So he climbed back up, looked at me sideways, and while still looking at me out of the side of his eyes, reached his hand over and swung the picture again.  At 18 months, he started hitting when he did not like something we said or did. For two months, it was daily, several times a day having to deal with that.  Then he switched it off one day, and the next day started biting.  Two months of that.  Then he switched that off, and started the very next day making himself throw up.  If he asked for a cookie and we said no, he would stick his fingers way in the back of his throat and would make himself throw up.  At first, we thought he was just sick, but after a few days of this happening multiple times per day, we realized he had somehow figured out his throwing up really made us concerned/disturbed, so he was using it as a power play.  It is amazing how a kid even at that age can really push the boundaries in the most creative ways.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I read a book called &quot;The Strong Willed Child&quot;, and it had a lot of examples about things that strong willed children did, but I kept thinking those kids were pansies compared with my boy.  For every example the book had, I had three more, and 10 times worse.  Fast forward to 14 years later.  My boy is still strong-willed, but he has learned to choose how to use that strength, which issues are important enough to set his foot down on.  He told me recently I was his best friend, and it does not surprise me, since he is mine.  He makes straight A's and is being courted by MIT and Caltech.  He, like his sisters, treats my wife and I and other adults with respect.  We still see the strength of will, but applied in ways that are awesome to behold.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I don't know that there is one single thing that helps one deal with such a kid and train them properly.  It is everything that we do.  But I would say there are several areas that are important.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;First, the messages we give to any kid, as parents must be: 1) I love you and I will always love you, no matter what.  2) You are awesome.  3) If you do wrong, it will meet with loving, strict, firm discipline.  4) if you do good, we will celebrate with you.  Those messages are indispensable to a child.  They must know where the boundaries are - that is why they test.  And on a bedrock of love and appreciation, those boundaries will be a joy to the child, and the discipline will not be disheartening to them in the long run.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Part of this also has to do with training the child to know what is wrong and what is right.  One basic principle that we have strongly pushed on our kids is the idea of doing to others as you would have them do to you - or love others as you love yourself.  Fussing and demanding from parents is disrespectful, unloving behavior and is wrong.  That cannot be tolerated, for the sake of the child.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;One last thing on discipline.  Discipline must first and foremost be about training the child.  It will have an element of punishment for wrong-doing, but good discipline is not mainly about punishing.  It is about training and teaching and reinforcing what is right and what is wrong.  Discipline should never be a vehicle for parents to vent anger at what the child did, so when we get angry, we need to take a step back and wait until we can discipline with a cool head.  And discipline should never happen for something that is a mistake, accident or something the child did not know.  Spilt milk, accidentally knocking mom's favorite vase off the table and breaking it - these should not be reason for discipline.  But once having been told something (ex: don't touch mom's vase), if the child then does it, then they are disobeying and that is wrong and should be met with discipline.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;And one thing on strength of will.  As I was thinking further on this, I wondered if other parents with strong-willed children have a lot more trouble than I did because they are less strong-willed than their child.  I happen to be an extremely stubborn person (like father, like son).  And this served me well with my son.  He needed to learn that he would not just get his way by fussing or acting up until he wore me down.  I am too stubborn to be worn down like that.  Less stubborn parents may have to stretch themselves into levels of being firm that they are not naturally comfortable with.  But be careful, it must be gentle firmness, not harsh stubbornness, or else you could turn your relationship with your child into an antagonistic mess.  The child must understand that you can be absolutely firm, for a good reason (explain it), and will be so as kindly and gently as is possible.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Love your child and rejoice in the strength of her will.  This is not a bad thing.  There are hills worth dying on (I hope you know that English expression), and it is the strong of will who will hold those hills.  It is a matter of teaching a child what is worth fighting for and what is not.  They need to know what is right and what is wrong, and what is neither - plenty of things where we have freedom to choose - and how to tell the difference in a principled way.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;My prayers for you and your family - this kid of yours has awesome potential!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-09-24T18:46:04.297" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T18:46:04.297" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22246" CreationDate="2015-09-24T16:21:17.237" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say this with trepidation.  You are in a very tough situation, and for anyone to speak into it, without having been in your shoes, is ...  well, not sure I really have a right to speak.  So, please feel free to just totally ignore this - saying that I don't know what I am talking about is probably a fair assessment.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Bottom line, no amount of work on your part will change who this man is.  It is impossible for you to make him something he is not, and I know you are not trying to change him, but you are trying to change how your daughter experiences who he is.  That will ultimately be impossible, and is probably not even a positive thing to do.  Maybe it's better for her to know what her father really is like and what she can and cannot expect from him.  I think you are pretty awesome to go to such great lengths to try to give your daughter a better life than you had.  But you must recognize that you cannot give her a better dad than what she has.  He is who he is.  You can be there for her and communicate to her how much you love her and how awesome she is.  Leave her no doubt on that.  Part of what hurts with absent parents is the thought that maybe we are not worth their love and care.  Make sure she knows from you how much she is worth and how excellent and awesome she is and how much you love her, and that, more than any extra effort you put on that absent father, will put in her a confidence that she is worthy of love and attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-09-24T17:33:34.680" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T17:33:34.680" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22250" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-24T17:09:51.360" Score="8" ViewCount="598" Body="&lt;p&gt;The last time my 10-year-old daughter saw her dad she was 6. He would come and see her whenever he had time or when he wanted to show off to his friends that he is a dad.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I got married, he started tripping, because my husband was raising my daughter. He made problems for all to the point my daughter was scared because he threatened to take her and kill us. Police got involved, it was crazy and I try to keep it from her but she overheard some of the threats her father was saying. He is not in her life and when he was, he was there barely. She remembers when he promised her on her birthday he was going to come and never showed up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she is 10 and she cries every day asking me &quot;Why can't I have a real dad like everyone else? Why don't he want me or don't love me?&quot; I tell her we all love her and her step-dad loves her very much but she is missing her dad but she doesn't want anything to do with him. What should I do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19149" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-07T12:03:38.213" LastActivityDate="2019-06-07T12:03:38.213" Title="How to help my 10-year-old daughter who is upset because her dad is not in her life?" Tags="|middle-childhood|emotional-well-being|separation|father|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22250" CreationDate="2015-09-24T19:22:33.977" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got 2 possible solutions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get her step-dad to spend more time with her and to take her out anywhere she wants to go. This will get her to see him as her dad rather than her step-dad.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let her real dad try to redeem himself. If he cares about her then he will put the effort in. Almost 5 years have passed since he last saw her, chances are he has matured and become more responsible.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, only use method 2 if method 1 fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. Give method 1 some time to work it's magic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13980" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T19:22:33.977" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22250" CreationDate="2015-09-24T19:26:04.860" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Her situation is very similar to that of children who were adopted, except that one of her parents is her biological mother.  Adopted children ask many of the same questions that your daughter is probably asking.  Why wasn't I wanted?  Why am I different?  What is wrong with me?  Was it my fault I was &quot;given away&quot;?  What did I do wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try looking into some of the excellent books written to help adopted children wrestle with these issues.  I would start by making certain that she knows &lt;em&gt;it wasn't her fault&lt;/em&gt;.  It sounds like there is something terribly wrong with your ex-husband and if you can help her to understand that her biological father was unable to be a &quot;real daddy&quot; because of his illness, you can help transfer the blame to where it belongs without making her feel that she must stop loving her father or that she needs to defend him.  Join her in her regrets and you can both grieve together for what was lost, and perhaps you can both find healing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T19:26:04.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22258" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-24T19:47:05.980" Score="2" ViewCount="1005" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in the process of weaning my toddler from breastfeeding. At the moment he still drinks milk (breastfeeds) at night. Once he stops breastfeeding completely, what should I do if he wakes up and seems hungry at night? Is it OK to offer milk, juice, or cereal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19155" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-09-28T10:36:54.710" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:37:36.993" Title="Is it good to give food or drinks to a toddler at night after weaning off breast milk?" Tags="|toddler|night-time|weaning|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22250" CreationDate="2015-09-24T23:31:08.400" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My gut instinct. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's something going on. Your daughter has a problem, which she feels only a &quot;real&quot; dad would solve. It's strange that after four years of not seeing her biological father, she is now crying every day. Perhaps she feels she cannot confide in you, so the crying is a manifestation of her frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your rapport with your partner a happy one? Are there are any fights? Do you spend time together, alone, and have fun? Do you go out together as a family? Does she feel accepted by your partner's parents? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a chat with her teachers, find out how she's doing at school. Does she have friends? Is she popular? Tell her teachers that your daughter has been acting moody at home recently (no need to tell them the whole history if they don't know already) and you're wondering what the cause might be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't mention if she has any half-siblings. If there are any, ask them if your daughter has talked to them about her biological father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the problem is her biological father's absence in her life, consider whether visiting her paternal grandparents might be a way to fill that &quot;void&quot;. Has she ever seen seen her paternal grandparents? Were you on good terms? Have you stayed in contact? Perhaps now is the time for your daughter to build a rapport with them. If, for whatever reason, you feel this might jeopardize your daughter's safety or emotional well-being then leave well alone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spend some time alone with your daughter, helping her out with homework, or doing the shopping and ask her what's bothering her. If she replies she misses her dad, ask why she needs to see him so badly. &lt;em&gt;Listen&lt;/em&gt; to what she tells you, above all she must be able to talk about her dad without any interruption. Encourage her to open up without passing any judgement, be as neutral as possible.  Here I am in agreement with &#xA;Francine DeGrood Taylor's advice: “I would start by making certain that she knows it wasn't her fault.”  So reassure her she is loveable, beautiful and cherished by everyone in your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might discover what triggered this anxiety, which I think is the key to this problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11750" LastEditorUserId="11750" LastEditDate="2015-09-24T23:38:15.470" LastActivityDate="2015-09-24T23:38:15.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22230" CreationDate="2015-09-25T07:48:31.363" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a wide range of horrible things that can happen to the baby, most of which involve either miscarriages, early infant death, or life long consequences for both the mother and the child. It is &lt;strong&gt;very bad&lt;/strong&gt; for a baby if the mother took Meth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pulling some information from &lt;a href=&quot;http://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/What_are_the_Effects_of_Crystal_Meth_during_Pregnancy&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this website&lt;/a&gt;, potential complications from meth use during pregnancy are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;High blood pressure, which can cause kidney damage, heart damage, seizures, and maternal death&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disruption of the placenta, which leads to internal bleeding and possibly death.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Elevated risk of very-early-term delivery. Premature babies chances of survival outside of the hospital are small, so if your daughter refuses to go to hospital during delivery, that will be a big problem.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;DNA damage to the fetus. This is really bad and could cause the baby to die or be born deformed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brain damage to the fetus. Again, really bad and potentially fatal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also a long list of challenges the child could suffer during life, such as reduced IQ, depression, anxiety disorders, schizofrenia and more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T07:48:31.363" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1752" CreationDate="2015-09-25T15:15:22.417" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had this happen to me when I was a little girl (maybe 6) to the palm of my hand, but I think some of the wood just stayed in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you can see I'm still alive and have my hand, but I do look at the little dark spot on my hand and wounder if that peace of wood is still there. Btw, I'm 21 now so I would say don't worry too much about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19166" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-09-26T01:38:15.420" LastActivityDate="2015-09-26T01:38:15.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22228" CreationDate="2015-09-25T16:09:50.290" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This happened to our 2nd daughter. She's a younger soul, and took a long time to do everything, compared to her peers.  Around the middle of autumn, third grade when she was 8, we started to place more responsibility on her, giving her some chores, getting her more grown up clothes (rather than little kid clothes that were pink, etc - nothing against pink, heh) - oh, and we changed her room a little bit, rearranged it, took down &quot;baby&quot; things, and as a family decided not to treat her as the baby anymore, but as a little kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worked...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14119" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T16:09:50.290" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22269" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22270" CreationDate="2015-09-25T16:51:28.247" Score="35" ViewCount="19725" Body="&lt;p&gt;My almost three-year-old son’s room, as well as our sleeping room, is equipped with a smoke detector.&#xA;A few weeks ago, the one in our sleeping room went off and was beeping very loudly for ten seconds while he was in the room.&#xA;There was no apparent reason for this (probably an insect, cosmic radiation or an act of Loki) and this was the only such event in the year we had those detectors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A week later, he started being afraid of smoke detectors. Symptoms include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He does not wish to enter our room. If he does, he often starts hiding on the bed under the blanket. He also avoids his own room sometimes .&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He tells stories about smoke detectors being loud and evil.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He apparently suffers from nightmares involving smoke detectors, but he cannot communicate what he experienced.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When going to bed, he sometimes insists on one of us staying in the room and sleeps only with his hands put over his ears (to dampen the sound), which in turn makes it more difficult for him to fall asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has overcome similar irrational fears before, but this time the nature of his fears makes it quite difficult to address the issue with explanation, demonstration, and trust:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The concept of a smoke detector is already quite difficult to explain to him, though he seems to have understood it. But it’s seems to be beyond his grasp that there is a small probability that a smoke detector raises a false alert (of course, we explained it in less abstract terms).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As he is afraid of the possibility of the smoke detector making a sound, we cannot demonstrate that it is harmless in this respect. If we take the smoke detector off the ceiling, he agrees to hold it in his hands.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As one smoke detector did actually go off (and caused harm in form of noise), we are less convincing when assuring him that they are harmless.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While his fears have not yet reached a worrisome extent, I would be curious about other ways to tackle this issue. I prefer answers that do not involve lying or dismantling the smoke detectors as I want to support him dealing with his fears not just remove the symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4974" LastEditorUserId="388" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T19:23:01.737" LastActivityDate="2015-10-01T20:01:40.987" Title="How to address my son’s fear of mostly passive objects, namely smoke detectors" Tags="|toddler|fears|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-25T17:14:18.390" Score="37" Body="&lt;p&gt;Smoke detectors are not &quot;harmless&quot;, especially if you are three years old and had one going off suddenly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can you explain to him how they work? Not the technical details, but the purpose: smoke -&gt; alarm -&gt; safety. And that they &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to be very loud so that they wake everyone up in case of a fire? They are like the siren on a police car, fire truck or ambulance: loud, frightening &lt;em&gt;and an important warning system&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is one of the rare cases where I'd try to fight fire with fire: Let him set the alarm off with a incense stick or whatever triggers yours (practise before when he's not home!), so that he can see for himself how they work. Use earplugs, if necessary. And explain that in the last instance the alarm had a malfunction - it misunderstood something and went off, but it meant well - it &quot;thought&quot; there was a real danger, so it sounded the alarm. This method should work best if he's interested in all kinds of machinery (and lots of little boys are) and is probably the non-destructive variety of dismantling the thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it goes off next time, he must know that there might be a real fire and that you are prepared to deal with this accordingly. Perhaps an explanation on proper procedure in real emergencies would fit nicely here, too, like what to do, what not, where to go, etc. (And if the smoke detector goes off again, replace it, but that's probably pretty obvious.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T17:25:21.507" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T17:25:21.507" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-25T17:35:31.017" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say &quot;that's not how we explain it to him&quot;.  Why not?  I certainly have done the same with my four year old and my two and a half year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;D, smoke detectors are important for our safety, and it's so important that we accept the fact that they go off sometimes when they shouldn't and hurt our ears and make us annoyed.  Because if the house catches on fire while we're asleep, we very much want the loud noisy thing to be loud and noisy and scary: because then we wake up!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These sorts of things are important to talk to your child very nearly as if they were an adult.  Sure, you don't have to go into the science - but you can, if that's how your child works, it is how mine works to some extent.  But the concept of &quot;false positive&quot; vs. &quot;false negative&quot; are entirely understandable by a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, the main problem here is one of the unknown.  He doesn't know when it's going to go off, so it's constantly stressful.  He could be like my son and have mild sensory issues (where loud noises stress him more than most children); or he may just have a reasonable concern that a loud noise will be stressful.  Either way, this is sort of like a Doom hanging over you (if you watch How I Met Your Mother, the Slap is a great example of this).  It's far more stressful to anticipate unknown things than to experience them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One solution is to tolerize - ie, what Stephie suggested.  Give him control over the fire alarm.  Let it be something fun.  This worked with my son and hand air dryers - he found them incredibly frightening as a younger child (to the point that bathroom trips involved constant cringing in museums and similar), but worked through it by having control: pushing the button himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another solution is to give &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; solutions that he has control over.  Give him a set of earmuffs or some ear plugs.  Tell him that if it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; go off, just remember where these are and put them on.  Practice drills with it.  (That's a good idea anyway, of course, for fire safety.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you can make them less scary by making them more well known.  Instead of hoping he doesn't notice a smoke alarm when you walk in a room, point it out to him.  Make it a game.  &quot;Let's find the smoke detector.&quot;  This gives him control and gives him more opportunities in a planned way to work out his issues.   You can go even further - open it up, show him the pieces and how they work, or perhaps more easily find a Youtube video of a smoke detector tear-down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T17:35:31.017" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-25T18:23:30.813" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder if you created a counter-narrative, a story about how the smoke detectors are the good guys and watch over us to keep us safe, and when they sense danger they yell really loud to make sure we wake up, and sometimes they make mistakes and scare us a bit, but it's because they are are trying really hard to help us - I wonder if a story like that could help him understand smoke detectors role?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And similar stories could be created for other inanimate objects as needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, on a practical note, maybe try covering the sound hole on a smoke detector with duct tape, to muffle it, and then demonstrate how it works. Kids can hear high frequency sounds better than adults - their hearing has not yet been degraded by loud sounds - so for them, smoke detector alarms may actually be kind of painful - so by muffling the sound, it might allow for easier incremental desensitization. And then of course remove the duct tape before putting the smoke alarm back in service.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19169" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T18:23:30.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-25T18:59:39.637" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children of this age, and a few years older, do tend to develop fears associated with specific objects or concepts, and &lt;em&gt;those fears are often not rational&lt;/em&gt;.  Since they are not rational fears, they often can't be reasoned away.  Since you have tried rational explanations without success, it's likely that this is what's going on here.  More explanations, however logical and convincing, are probably pointless, because they're not addressing the actual fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cases, you can use illogical approaches -- magical realism -- to deal with the underlying problem.  For example, when my niece had a terror of witches, my sister hung out a sign that said &quot;No Witches Allowed!&quot;, and my niece was able to sleep happily again.  With one of our children, we used &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamcatcher&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dream Catchers&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, cheap souvenirs we had picked up some time ago, hung on the door knob and explained that they would stop the scary thoughts.  Parents famously look under children's beds to confirm that there are no monsters there.  And so on.  The specific solution will depend on your child, but some element of ritual and formality probably will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I think it is important to treat the child and his fear respectfully, and not to mock it or call it silly, or simply ignore it.  You can say that it's unnecessary, but at the same time take some steps to &quot;deal&quot; with it in a way that gives the child support and affirms that his feelings are worthwhile.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, these fears often disappear -- or are transferred to different objects -- as suddenly as they arose.  Don't be surprised or frustrated if you find yourself developing new rituals every year or so for a few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17538" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T18:59:39.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-25T19:00:01.157" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want him to understand, use a simple concept that he should already be familiar with at that age: a mistake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The smoke detector is supposed to detect smoke and warn people about it, but this time it &lt;em&gt;made a mistake,&lt;/em&gt; just like he does sometimes.  Oops! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And just like he gets frustrated when Mommy and Daddy remember a mistake he made forever and ever and keep bringing it up even after he believes he's learned his lesson, (because all kids think their parents do this &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt;, even if the parents don't think they are!), he should understand that the smoke detector just made a mistake and it will try to not make the same mistake again, and he shouldn't keep being afraid of the smoke detector because of it.  (This could potentially even become an object lesson on the subject of forgiveness.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="475" LastEditorUserId="475" LastEditDate="2015-09-25T19:06:39.520" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T19:06:39.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-25T22:04:17.283" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem is that it startled, scared, and &lt;em&gt;hurt&lt;/em&gt; him, and he &lt;em&gt;worries&lt;/em&gt; that it will do so again without warning.  Smoke detectors are painful to hear nearby - they are just below the range of hearing damage precisely so they will alert the occupants of a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's worried it will go off again, and, honestly, if you haven't found the cause you should be worried too. So you need to resolve the problem, and teach him what to do when it does make noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were me and my kids, I'd do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say &quot;It should only make noise if there's an emergency.  Since it made noise without an emergency, it needs to be replaced with a better one that doesn't make noise unless there's an emergency.  Do you want to go to the store and help me buy one?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to the store, and select two or three you are fine with (the new dual ionization + photoelectric ones will give fewer false alarms), and then let your child choose.  Make sure they look visibly different from the ones you currently have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remove the old ones, put in the new ones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Test them (have him cover his ears) so he knows you can cause it to make noise, and then tell him that the new ones won't make noise unless he needs to leave the house.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Practice leaving the house.  &lt;em&gt;&quot;If these make noise, don't hide under a blanket - &lt;strong&gt;run&lt;/strong&gt; out of the house!&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably the best thing you can do is give him an action to perform when it happens again, and practice that using the testing button on the alarm. That way he will have a sense of control over his environment - he knows if it goes off he isn't to hide under covers or cover his ears, he's to run outside immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That might be enough.  Otherwise, patience, and over weeks without the noise he will probably settle back down and ignore them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-09-25T22:04:17.283" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6899" CreationDate="2015-09-26T00:16:50.043" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While looking into stimulants, I found out oranges do contain Synephrine, an alkaloid, occurring naturally in some plants and animals. &#xA;According to wikipedia's &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synephrine&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;page on synephrine:&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;p-synephrine (or formerly Sympatol and oxedrine [BAN]) and&#xA;  m-synephrine are known for their longer acting adrenergic effects&#xA;  compared to norepinephrine.&#xA;  Its molecular structure is based on a phenethylamine skeleton, and is&#xA;  related to those of many other drugs, and to the major&#xA;  neurotransmitters epinephrine and norepinephrine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words a stimulant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In a survey of over 50 citrus fruit juices, either&#xA;  commercially-prepared or hand-squeezed from fresh fruit, obtained on&#xA;  the US market, Avula and co-workers found synephrine levels ranging&#xA;  from ~ 4 – 60 mg/L;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 350ml glass (about a full glass) would correspond to an average dose of dietary synephrine supplement, according to this &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.muscleandstrength.com/supplements/ingredients/synephrine.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;muscleandstrength.com article&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A typical dose of 4-20 mg of synephrine daily can be found suggested&#xA;  by products providing the standardized citrus aurantium extract of&#xA;  200-600mg per pill. These contain about 3-6% of synephrine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore enough to keep the child awake and relatively energetic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19173" LastActivityDate="2015-09-26T00:16:50.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-26T11:10:35.593" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest creating a social story either using flash cards or a comic strip to try and help him understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I teach autistic teenagers and we use this kind of thing to teach them about different situations they might have experienced or experience in the future to help them cope and understand. They're usually quite serious in tone but there's nothing to stop you making it a fun activity with him and creating a story with a cartoon smoke detector as the hero.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;E.g:&#xA;He might be a bit too eager to help people and go off without warning so people don't like him but then there's real smoke (I'd suggest from cooking or someone leaving a cigarette lit - you don't want to instill the idea of waking up to a massive house fire!) and the alarm comes to the rescue...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19177" LastActivityDate="2015-09-26T11:10:35.593" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22281" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-26T11:39:02.840" Score="4" ViewCount="335" Body="&lt;p&gt;we're expecting our second child and -- as with number one -- we're planning on staying at home for child labour and birth. I have a good midwife and there's no medical reason to go to a hospital. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's another issue though that we need to tackle: Our first child. Is there someone here who has experience with giving birth at home while there's already another child (will be about 22 months old then) in the household?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7457/what-can-help-prepare-a-15-month-old-for-the-birth-of-a-sibling&quot;&gt;What can help prepare a 15 month old for the birth of a sibling?&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, but that's about the time before and after giving birth, not during...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Close family lives 3 to 8 hours away (depending on whom we're talking about...), so &quot;go to granny&quot; is not an option for a quick birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for all suggestions, ideas and sharings of own experiences!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT to answer the comments:&#xA;I was in search also for ideas on how to explain the kid that I will give birth and that during this time, I will be too occupied to care much for him. I'm hoping not to have him in the same room with me, but as you said -- babies have their own schedule, so if it comes to the toddler being in the room with me, I'd also like to hear suggestions on how to handle that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ideas about incorporating the midwives sounds good (as long as they agree to it), because they can also explain what#s going on -- and they have experience in caring about people who are around (normally husbands, but well, also maybe kids). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19178" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-12-21T14:39:53.660" Title="giving birth at home-- how to deal with an older child?" Tags="|siblings|birth|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2015-09-27T03:57:57.750" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent but when I was young, I was scared of water. One thing that helped was to put swimming goggles on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also make your child think you're playing a game with them, such as to say &quot;Here comes the whale!&quot; when you have to put water on their head. Although no-one tried that with me, I think that if they like whales they might like it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you pour water on somewhere they ask for like their neck head or face then you could say &quot;The whale sneezed on you!&quot;. Once they get into the game, they might splash water onto you and while they're laughing they might just ignore you washing their hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19183" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-09-27T21:26:23.750" LastActivityDate="2015-09-27T21:26:23.750" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-27T09:34:22.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this doesn't address the question of allaying fears of loud noises, but I think he will grow out of that. If he has already seen one go off inadvertently, it would be hard not to lie in bed, staring at it and worrying that it will go off, and have poor sleep patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The smoke detectors in the sleeping rooms are required per some regulation from the fire insurance ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, I'm a lot older than three, and I would be pretty pissed off if a smoke detector went off over &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; head. I suggest a workable compromise. Tell him: &lt;em&gt;If it goes off over his head for no reason it will be replaced&lt;/em&gt;. However I note that his detector did not in fact sound, so he is transferring the problem with &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; faulty detector to speculate that his might fail as well. This is not totally an unreasonable assumption.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the other excellent answers have suggested, pointing out that &quot;things go wrong sometimes&quot; is not a bad way of managing the situation. However we don't have to put up with faulty devices in the house. My suggestion of offering to replace the faulty detector (if it happens again) should go a long way to relieving the anxiety. You can say &quot;the &lt;em&gt;bad&lt;/em&gt; detector is gone now&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also pointing out their usefulness (without making it sound like the house will burn down in the next few months) might help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I think it is important to treat the child and his fear respectfully, and not to mock it or call it silly ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a good point. As I said, I would be annoyed too at the situation. You could say that &quot;we obviously got a dud smoke detector&quot;, and if it happens to you (the parent) again, you will replace your detector. As indeed you may want to anyway. That aligns you and your son on the side of fighting the evil smoke detector.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19185" LastEditorUserId="19185" LastEditDate="2015-09-27T21:16:27.420" LastActivityDate="2015-09-27T21:16:27.420" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22281" CreationDate="2015-09-27T15:55:26.937" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did this twice. Friends and family are obvious choices but we lived far away from family at the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When #2 was born, #1 was not quite a year old and we had him stay the night at a friends house who also had a baby of the same age. #2 was was nice enough to show up at 6pm so we could have brought #1 back for the night. However, a quick phone call confirmed that he was doing just fine and so we let him stay the night there and brought him back the next morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;#3 was more difficult as we needed arrangement for both #1, and #2 who where 2 and 3 at the time. We had made multiple alternative arrangements: two set of friends, neighbors in the same building, and our regular babysitter coming over to watch them in a different room at our place. Things got more complicated since #3 was two weeks late and #2 was sick as a dog running a high fever. In the end it all worked out. We parked #1 at friends, and kept #2 around with first me, then the babysitter watching him and then moving him over to the neighbors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's certainly a good idea to have multiple options so you can react quickly if something unexpected happens and to accommodate for the lack of ability to plan. Baby's show up when they are ready, regardless of your schedule. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-12-21T14:39:53.660" LastActivityDate="2015-12-21T14:39:53.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22281" CreationDate="2015-09-27T22:13:26.980" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We birthed 6 of our 7 children at home (#2 was the only one born in a hospital). Our older kids were always at home during the births. Sometimes grandparents were able to watch them in another room, but not always. Sometimes we put them to bed and the baby was kind enough to be born at night. For our fourth baby, we didn't have either option so the assistant midwife helped watch the kids. We just juggled and it all worked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17763" LastActivityDate="2015-09-27T22:13:26.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-27T23:24:40.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Smoke detectors are, in fact, dangerous - I have tinnitus because of a fire alarm which was far too powerful for the location it was installed in. In this part of the world smoke alarms installed by private landlords tend to be wired together so that if one goes off, they all do. This one was so loud that we couldn't speak to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this instance the child's instincts are correct - only his response is irrational, so you need to help him form his understanding of the principle of an alarm, and give him a better way of dealing with it - it will no longer be frightening if it is understood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17544" LastActivityDate="2015-09-27T23:24:40.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22228" CreationDate="2015-09-28T01:09:50.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my experience sucking my thumb till about age nine. For the record - I wanted to stop sucking my thumb because I found it embarrassing, so certainly an aspect to stopping thumb sucking was a conscious wanting to stop, but I don't remember enacting any specific plans to stop (as I would any bad habit I have as an adult). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can buy that gross tasting nail polish stuff. It's not 100% effective - because you can just suck it off and then your thumb tastes nice again. But I think it helps interrupt the habit. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Offer some kind of reward. 'I'll buy you a xyz if you stop sucking your thumb by age 10'. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11724" LastActivityDate="2015-09-28T01:09:50.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22293" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-28T03:51:05.287" Score="3" ViewCount="287" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy, two years - nine months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We teach him good words, teach him to be polite to parents and even to anyone that he will meet. We always support him physically (buy/give things he wanted), and mentally (tell him a story and playing with him). We also respond to any repeat questions and even for his imagination. We always apologise when we have a mistaken to him, and he do the same things. But lately, he did alot of things that we could not tolerate. And starting to not listen to us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is hard to listen our words day by day and it seems getting worse. He clearly heard but chooses not to do what we ask and he doesn't even turn his head when we call him. But when we said in whispered; &quot;Let's going out&quot; or &quot;I want to get ice cream&quot;. He heard and reply to what we've said. That's how we negotiate these days, but we do not want to over pamper him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to teach him to listen our thoughts, order, and any kind of words without being rude to him. But he always listen to us after shout out loud to him and make he cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19192" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T02:33:39.870" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T05:48:28.557" Title="My son not listening any words from me or wife" Tags="|toddler|behavior|listening|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-10-05T12:51:10.163" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22295" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22340" CreationDate="2015-09-28T12:34:34.373" Score="4" ViewCount="964" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 26, and feel the need to sort and process my childhood. I grew up in Norway. I have always felt a bit low, passive and lacking self-confidence growing up. I was polite, kind, and quite normal; I was okay at sports, good at music and school. I feel I wasn't able to accomplish even 10% of what I wanted to do. I felt stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first question has always been, &quot;What's my problem? Why am I not able to accomplish more?&quot; I've been undergoing treatment for anxiety and depression for the last 1.5 years, so that subject is already being treated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second question has been, &quot;What's wrong in my family?&quot; As long as I can remember, something felt wrong. I feel I'm getting close to answering this. My parents were very good at some things, not at others. They were good at caring for us financially, our physical health, and our intellectual development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that they were less successful at being &quot;there&quot; for us emotionally and socially. The things they could easily understand, they've sort of been there. But once it became difficult, they came with all kinds of apologies, but never tried solving the problem. It was simply forgotten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never felt openness to discuss anything that really matters, only school, economy, practical and material things only, never more than that. The most consistent topic was &quot;how was school today?&quot; (asked by my mom; my dad didn't participate much in this respect.) However, my mom was very interested in the superficial stuff; she just wanted to hear that everything was okay, and that I did something fun with my friends. (The truth was, I found it hard to communicate with others in my class.) I needed her to listen to what I talked about, not ignore me or get tired and leave, then just forget about the topic like I never talked about it. So I started to not talk. I avoided the question. I started to say &quot;Great!&quot; ironically, or just barely answer at all. I had nobody to talk to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And my father wasn't there. He went down to his office almost all day. And if it were something he wanted to be a part of, it was very specific topics. He wanted to tell me about mathematics, or he wanted me to go to football training and speed skating. Never wanted to talk, or establish a proper two-way connection with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, that goes for both. Lot of them, little me. Not much communication, and if there was some, it was one-way. From them to me. And that stopped me from talking quite quickly. I felt inside me, are you not gonna listen? And so it went.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been talking to my parents about my feelings about the family growing up. They sort of simply didn't/don't accept my version of the story. I can count on one hand the times my mother was a tiny bit open, but it never went anywhere. My mom listened to me (kind of stony-faced), but didn't really engage. I felt that she believed everything she did was perfect, and she wasn't open to hearing anything else. I had proper hopes for someday establishing honest communication with my mom, maybe in 10-20 years, maybe confirming some of my feelings, but then she got cancer and died two years ago..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad is worse. He gets defensive immediately, derails the conversation, twists things I say, often interrupts me telling me &quot;how it was&quot;, seems unable to talk about relational difficulties at all, and defines my subjects as &quot;useless&quot; and &quot;meaningless&quot;. He has a small set of things he thinks is important as a parent, and the rest he strictly and firmly doesn't want to think about. This is very difficult for me to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've concluded that for some reason both my mum and dad failed in some important parts of parenting, namely the emotional and social support of me and my siblings. My father did what he felt was important to do, but the emotional and social part that I needed, being me growing up here in this place, he feels he had no responsibility to provide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that I see this in other families as well, and that it's somehow accepted by many parents here in Norway. It's a one-way communication, and you're not responsible for being totally present as a parent, like emotionally and socially, and the more abstract things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Are parents supposed to be emotionally and socially present and supportive, or is it enough that they are physically and materially supportive and generally just kind?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19195" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-07T12:37:46.960" LastActivityDate="2019-04-07T12:37:46.960" Title="Is a parent expected to be emotionally and socially supportive for the child?" Tags="|parents|communication|social-development|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22296" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22300" CreationDate="2015-09-28T14:17:04.350" Score="2" ViewCount="247" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have a very stubborn 2.5-year-old son. He refuses to follow any kind of routine in sleeping, eating, screening times (TV and so), or anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever he is sleepy, he fights going to bed until he is &lt;strong&gt;really&lt;/strong&gt; exhausted, and this is normally after 3-4 hours of convincing him to sleep. He can fight sleeping until 3 or 4 AM! The same thing is for eating, whenever he is hungry, he does not ask at all and we spend a difficult time trying to feed him or make him eat by himself. Similar thing is with going to the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried many techniques with him, talking, playing, getting toys to encourage him, but none of these things happened to work.&#xA;Whenever we take him out, he screams in a very loud voice if one of his requests has not been accepted (like getting the mobile phone or going to bus as he likes being in it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these problems are not emergent, they are from day 1 at home, and we have no idea how to solve this. I am not sure what can we do with him. We feel so sad because of these problems with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Potentially helpful information about him:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He is in a trilingual environment (Arabic at home, German at&#xA;kindergarten, and English at screens, in particular Youtube)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has a very good health&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He prefers to play alone in the kindergarten &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He refuses to sleep in his bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the only time we feel he is happy is when he has mobiles, TV, laptop, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We restrict his screening time to 2 hours at most (sometimes it increases to three)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We are living alone. So he sees no people other than his parents and the people in the kindergarten.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7814" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-07T12:59:01.017" LastActivityDate="2018-09-07T12:59:01.017" Title="What to do with a 2.5-year-old boy refusing to go to sleep, to the toilet or to eat?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|discipline|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2594" CreationDate="2015-09-28T14:51:06.880" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was two (she is now 30) I used a method called &quot;teaching your baby to read&quot;. It began with sight words, &quot;mommy, daddy, and, the, a&quot; etc and built from there.  She has always loved reading and was at a third grade level when she began kindergarten.  There was a book by the above name and also you could purchase the sight words already made for you, or as I did, you could create your own.  My grandson is now two and I am making sight words for him to use and it is going well.  We also include some phonics.  For example he knows all is all so we add the b and he sounds out ball, add the c and it is call, etc.  We do groups of these at a time. I also agree that reading to your child and pointing to the words you want them to read to you is also very beneficial.  Best of luck to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19197" LastActivityDate="2015-09-28T14:51:06.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-28T15:48:21.497" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can empathise with this scenario, my advice would be, like some others have suggested, just to give it time. On holiday when my son was of a similar age, a smoke alarm went off in the bedroom while he was sleeping, it woke him and expectedly startled and scared him. We could not get it off, and he was so upset and scared at the time. As a highly sensitive child it was the worst thing that could of happened to him. He has always been acutely aware and fearful of loud noise, tannoys in supermarkets, motorbikes going past, and even the school bell. It affected him deeply and he would be very on edge with any situations involving loud noise. The only thing you can do as a parent is support him in whatever environment he is in or becomes fearful in, I don't think that there is a solution that can be offered up here, as your child is unique and will respond in own way and time. Talk about it like you are, be honest and don't avoid it but also don't make a big thing of it. Prepare to be very patient and hopefully in time your son will move on and recover from it. It happened to my son and I honestly thought he would be scarred for life, but he recovered well in under a year and can now tolerate loud noises. Each child as you know, is very different but I'm sure he will be okay in time, and hope you take encouragement from my experience. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19198" LastActivityDate="2015-09-28T15:48:21.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22296" CreationDate="2015-09-28T16:45:15.283" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're giving him a lot of attention for undesirable behaviour. You are basically putting him in charge of you. This is an easy thing to fall into, but you can now change it. Make very firm boundaries and very firm consequences. Don't give him lots of attention for not eating; let him not eat after explaining only once that if he doesn't eat , for example, lunch, there will be nothing until dinner and stand by it. Same as bed time. Explain that it is bed time and then do last kiss/cuddle, and walk away. Don't keep going back in as this will encourage him to stay awake playing games  to get your attention. Kids love attention &lt;em&gt;regardless&lt;/em&gt; of whether it's positive or negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do give him love and attention at the appropriate times. This will help form a relationship. But you have to stop &quot;rewarding&quot; bad behaviour with lots of negative or positive attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the boundaries are firmly in place, start a sticker chart where he can get a sticker each time something  like a mealtime or bedtime goes well. But stick to the boundaries. Children actually feel safer with firm and clear boundaries than otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-09-28T16:45:15.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18175" CreationDate="2015-09-28T17:23:39.800" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I expect that aside from nutrition, breastfeeding provides comfort for your son.  Perhaps the problem is more emotional.  If there is something bothering him emotionally, nighttime is when it is most likely to manifest.  He may wake up troubled, and the best way to feel secure again is to breastfeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could also explain the lack of desire to eat solid food during the day.  If there is something else bothering him, he may have less interest in eating, or may reject it precisely because it gives him a feeling of control, which is what he needs to deal with his emotional upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything significant that has changed in his life recently that might be causing anxiety or distress?  Has he been separated from someone significant or had a change of environment that could be distressing?  At 1 year old, he is probably too young to communicate what is bothering him, but he may be old enough to understand, at least partially, if you explain things to him.  If you can figure out what might be causing him emotional distress, and explain to him, in the simplest terms possible, how you can help him with it (and repeat it to him ad nauseum), you might find that he sleeps better and accepts solid food better.  You can also explore other ways of providing him comfort and reassurance both during the day and at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-09-28T17:23:39.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22302" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-28T20:15:04.863" Score="10" ViewCount="405" Body="&lt;p&gt;Im a dad of daughters.  They are native pink/sparkly/rainbow/fairy/mermaid/pink.  As much as it is the opposite of who/what I am, I love them and it is who they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So they love &quot;tea parties&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a lunk, I don't know the basics.  What are the ground rules?  Is there is &quot;tea parties for dads&quot; or something?  How should I do this so I don't mess it up or teach them bad habits?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19201" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-09-29T01:58:52.090" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T01:58:52.090" Title="rules for a tea party" Tags="|activities|girls|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22302" CreationDate="2015-09-29T00:42:34.513" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;At this point, you're not teaching your daughters how to run a tea party. That's their job to teach you. You're teaching them (by example) how to cooperate, negotiate, share, make decisions, respond and adapt to change, resolve disputes, and tidy up when they're done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't sweat it if they don't understand what you're trying to show them right now. The important thing is to have fun, laugh with them, be a pawn in their game. They will pick up the nuances of social interactions as you play with them repeatedly over many years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The details of the tea party are left up to them. They will surely let you know if you're doing it wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9114" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T00:42:34.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22306" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-29T02:41:00.007" Score="3" ViewCount="3427" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 16 month old doesn't say any words though he babbles a lot. He recently started repeating &quot;mummy&quot; when I say it. He responds to his name (though sometimes he totally ignores me). He follows 2 commands (&quot;come&quot; and &quot;no&quot;). I think he understands a couple of other words such as &quot;milk&quot; and &quot;sleep&quot; but I'm not totally sure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has great eye contact and does seem aware of what is happening around him. He is usually happy around other children (though sometimes he is cranky), he watches and smiles at them and on occasion even approaches them and tries to take/play with their toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is usually a happy baby. His gross motor is delayed, he is cruising along furniture and hasn't yet started to walk without support. I am worried. Do you think he is just a little late in development or is there a major concern here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19203" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-25T13:49:31.417" LastActivityDate="2018-04-25T13:49:31.417" Title="16 month old doesn't talk" Tags="|toddler|language-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-29T07:04:56.763" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do your smoke alarms have blinking leds? If so, turn them off/paint them black and tell your child that you have turned them off completely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19205" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T07:04:56.763" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-29T08:32:29.577" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He probably doesn't fear the detectors themself, but the noise they make. Of course, it hurts in the ears and if you're about to fall asleep, you get shocket even as matured person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Smoke detectors reveal a life threading danger, even one you might not see.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;You canno't see, smell or taste carbon monoxid. You won't feel that it's there, if you're sleeping. &#xA;In the end, it doesn't matter if your detectors detect carbon monoxid. Some do, some don't, issue keeps the same. i'd proceed as if they do, even if they don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him, that there are some kinds of smoke (or air) (if he doesn't understand the concept of gas, yet.) which can kill you and you cannot notice on your own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not teach him that this sound is harmless!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It really is not! He has to understand that this alarm means a big danger.&#xA;Teach him how to react on that alarm, not to ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your situation, I'd play a fire drill so he knows how to react to it. Children are just normal people that don't know as much as we do.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;People tend to have less fear of things, when they know how to react to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still remember my first fire drill in elementary school. I was frightened a lot. The second and third where better and somewhen it wasn't much of a thrill anymore. I knew how to react, reacted that way and that was it. Nothing special.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9976" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T08:32:29.577" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22281" CreationDate="2015-09-29T11:43:26.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We birthed two children at home. When we had only our #1 child (22 months old), we were lucky, because the birth of #2 started at midnight, and #1 slept all night. We took #1 over to another room to sleep when the birth happened. The next morning #1 had a brother (#2) and was very happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The birth of our #4 started in the early evening when the others (#1, #2, #3) were still awake. The father (me) went to the bedroom with them and read some books for them (as always), explaining them, that I wont read to much today, because I want to attend the birth of #4. But when I finished reading, it was already “to late”, because the birth had happened (the process was much faster this time, then the births before — maybe due to the experienced mother?). When I heard the new baby (#4) I told them that I want to go there and help the mother. The youngest (#3) of the three was already sleeping and the two older kids (#1, #2) understood it or accepted it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our idea was to call a friend or bring them to our neighbours (which are friends, too) to help us and attend the children while we were occupied with the birth. But finally we never needed it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4024" LastEditorUserId="4024" LastEditDate="2015-09-29T11:48:41.730" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T11:48:41.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-09-29T13:01:51.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many times kids appreciate technical answers, even if they do not understand them completely. Depends if you are technically inclined yourself, but it may be interesting to take one apart (batteries removed). It is better if you already know how it works and describe the different parts. Try together to find explanations as to why it went off whereas there was no fire. Ask him for hypotheses, discard those involving evil and such, and treat with consideration those more technical, even if completely unrealistic. Conclude that this model was crap, throw it away and buy a supposedly better one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19212" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T13:01:51.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22316" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22318" CreationDate="2015-09-29T17:21:17.467" Score="4" ViewCount="664" Body="&lt;p&gt;Age of my sister's daughter is 3 and half years. From her berth itself she was very active and played with us usually. Last month my sister delivered a new baby and so our family members are very busy taking care of the new child so no one is playing with the first child. One day her school teacher called my sister and informed that she is not normal like other children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though there are so many children in the class room, she is playing alone and speaking with wall which looks abnormal for us.&#xA;In our home also she is playing and speaking alone. Is this a normal behavior for a 3 and half year child? Will this become a serious issue?&#xA;One thing we noticed is She don't like her new brother as her mom spending most of the time with the new baby only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13357" LastEditorUserId="13357" LastEditDate="2015-09-30T05:43:33.190" LastActivityDate="2015-09-30T05:43:33.190" Title="Three and Half years baby talking and playing in the class room alone due to less family support" Tags="|toddler|social-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22317" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-29T17:50:37.433" Score="10" ViewCount="774" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15-year-old stepson, who has recently moved in with his mother 4 hours away, has left my husband with feelings that he is a terrible parent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My stepson was abusive - physically, mentally and emotionally - as well as destructive when he didn't get his own way. He chose to move in with his mother because he would not follow our rules. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how to help my husband, who did everything for his son, to see that he is not a bad parent for attempting to hold his son accountable for his behavior. This is not bad parenting on our part. My husband refuses to see that, and will not go to a counselor or therapist. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I help him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19216" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-16T12:37:57.227" LastActivityDate="2018-05-16T12:37:57.227" Title="How do I help my husband see that his feelings of being a terrible parent to his son are unfounded?" Tags="|teen|parents|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22316" CreationDate="2015-09-29T19:11:53.253" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off: if the teacher is concerned, it's probably worth talking to your pediatrician and possibly getting a referral to a child psychologist.  Two paragraphs aren't enough for anyone to evaluate your niece, and an in person evaluation may be appropriate.  Your sister should talk to the teacher in more detail (or her husband, or you, or whomever is most often there at the school) to find out more specifics, write them down, and take them to the doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, what you're describing above is not necessarily particularly abnormal.  It is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; normal for children, particularly first children, to have significant adjustment periods to new siblings.  She went from 100% parental attention to ~30%, overnight.  Regardless of the amount of work her parents put in to help her understand this would happen, it's completely impossible for her to have thought this out ahead of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That adjustment can take all sorts of forms, but it seems entirely reasonable to me that one adjustment she might make is to learn how to play by herself.  She's still 3, so still in the range where parallel play is common; some kids around 3.5 do learn to play with others but some don't until 4 or a bit later (in my experience).  It's also common to have &quot;invisible friends&quot;, which the wall may well be in this case, at this age; this helps children work out socialization, which can be difficult to learn with others who also don't understand it very well! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that her parents (And you, to whatever extent you're involved) simply continue trying to make her feel wanted and welcome.  Find ways to get her &quot;alone&quot; time with one or both parents.  Talk to her about her feelings.  Read some other questions on this site and elsewhere about how to help older siblings cope with their new sibling.  She will pull through this, and figure out what her new 'normal' is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T19:11:53.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22319" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-29T21:47:14.320" Score="5" ViewCount="198" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son is 7 months old, and as he frequently still needs our presence to go to sleep at night, we've decided that it's time for sleep training. The problem isn't that he needs our presence - the problem is that he will wake up after one sleep cycle, and need us to fall asleep again. And again. And again. A little more than a month ago we've transitioned him from falling asleep while sucking our fingers (god, this sounds embarrassing) to falling asleep with us present, and that transition went fairly quick, so we're hoping that he'll adjust quickly again. We're planning to use the controlled crying method and go in after 1, then 2, then 3, then 4 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we're not quite sure what to do during the day. Once we start controlled crying, we feel we would also need to do apply the controlled crying method during the day to be consistent. During the day he will often, but not always, fall asleep on his own. In addition, he still only naps for about 30-45 minutes - he's never been a brilliant napper -, and as per &lt;a href=&quot;https://childsleepscience.wordpress.com/2014/03/24/nap-101-post-3-how-do-i-teach-my-baby-to-sleep-more-than-one-30-45-minute-sleep-cycle/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this blog&lt;/a&gt;, we've been trying to teach him to connect sleep cycles by going in as soon as he wakes up and soothe him back to sleep (her options 1 &amp;amp; 2, waiting X time before going in, didn't produce any results for us). For the midday nap, this works about 50% of the time. I'm worried that we won't be consistent if don't also apply controlled crying during the day, but that if we do, he'll be crying 24 hours a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what should we do during the day, if he doesn't fall asleep on his own? Controlled crying, or help him fall asleep by going back in and staying until he's fallen asleep (usually about 10-15 min max)? And should we continue to try to teach him to connect sleep cycles? If we do and he doesn't fall asleep again within a reasonable amount of time, how long will we need to do this? Until he finally falls asleep whenever that is?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T20:34:43.647" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T20:34:43.647" Title="Sleep training and consistency" Tags="|infant|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22306" CreationDate="2015-09-29T23:16:08.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is this your first child? First children often miss a few milestones, especially if Mommy stays home with them instead of day care, because they don't see anyone else their size doing new things. They'll watch Mommy and Daddy walking, and eventually get the idea, but the second child will pick it up a little faster, because that child will be able to watch their older sibling all day, every day, and get a better idea of how to do things when you're only two or three feet tall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest daughter was much the same walking-wise; she wasn't really walking unassisted until just before her second birthday, while my middle daughter got the hang of it around her first birthday. However, my older was a real babbler, and started learning the names of things in her daily life fairly early, maybe about 8 months or so. My middle child's been slower to learn language, and at 18 months she still has a fairly limited &quot;signal word&quot; vocabulary (mommy, daddy, blankie, milkie, cookie, hung'y, phone, up, down, maybe a couple others) while my elder child was really taking off by that age, with parts of the body, furniture/appliances, and basic times of day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will start doing these things when he figures out the advantage of doing them over what he's currently doing. He learned to roll over because it was boring to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling (and/or it was tiring to be on his stomach holding his head up for so long, then unpleasant to lay his head down in his own drool). Then he learned to crawl because he couldn't reach something he wanted on the floor from where he was, and he learned to pull up and cruise because it changed his perspective of the room allowing him to see further. When he realizes that walking allows him to move more quickly, and/or to carry something in his hands while moving, he'll start trying harder to master that skill. Similarly, when he learns that words are symbols, not signals, he'll want to learn the words for more things so he can say what he wants in more situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing my wife and I think may have jump-started our eldest to learn to walk was to soften the floor. Practically all the floors in our house are hard surfaces (tile, laminate etc), and on a hunch we bought a big area rug for the living room where she spent most of her day crawling and cruising. Within a month after that, she was walking. It may be coincidence, or she may have realized the rug doesn't hurt as much to &quot;fall down go boom&quot; onto, which increased her confidence in trying to walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2489" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T23:16:08.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22319" CreationDate="2015-09-30T08:00:32.427" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you give your son attention when he's awake he won't learn to go back to sleep on his own. Controlled crying is not pleasant for a parent as your natural instinct will be to comfort him, however it's not going to work if you don't stick to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long to do it depends on your child, there's no right or wrong answer. My son stayed awake for 45 minutes to an hour at first, buy over a few days it worked. My daughter never needed it at all. I know people who had to spend months on controlled crying before it worked,so you just don't know until you try. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also easy to get overly focused on this sort of thing, sleeping and waking are perfectly natural things. Try not to get obsessed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2015-09-30T08:00:32.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22324" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22328" CreationDate="2015-09-30T11:31:46.413" Score="11" ViewCount="3604" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my wife and I were trying for kids, we were both on good salaries, and it was hoped my wife would be able to be a stay-at-home mum to raise our child until three years old when nursery would naturally begin.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was based on lots of opinions such as...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids who start school/nursery too young develop behavioural issues at&#xA;home &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids should be with their parents until they're ready&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Look at the &lt;em&gt;&quot;family name removed&quot;&lt;/em&gt; family, they sent their kids to school at one year old and look how they turned out.  You don't want to be like them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks to the global recession, my wife has to go back to work in a couple of weeks, and at 12 months my child will have to go to nursery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a dad who works from home and who has watched his child grow since birth, I have really strong emotions about this.  Obviously I will miss my child through the day, but feel extra bad because I have listened to those opinions for years and never thought I'd be facing the same situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any evidence to support whether nursery is a bad thing at this age range?  I've looked but can't find anything beyond negative opinion to further my feelings.  Sorry if I'm rambling, I guess I'm just trying to soften the blow...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;References&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2313195/Yes-minister-nurseries-ARE-bad-children-So-dont-stay-home-mums.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;...they are producing ill-disciplined children who are unable to sit still and learn when they move on to primary school.&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/children-parenting-190/toddlers-pre-schoolers-12-months-4-years-59/742678-anyone-else-not-planning-sending-their-kiddies-nursery.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;...parents use nursery as a dumping ground&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/education/2004/jul/08/schools.uk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;...large quantities of care in a day nursery before the age of three increases the incidence of insecurity and aggression in children, and that these damaging effects are still evident years later.&quot;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;18 Months Later&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As this question seems to have attracted quite a bit of attention, I felt I should follow-up with how things worked out for us (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/30034/11544&quot;&gt;please see below&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11544" LastEditorUserId="11544" LastEditDate="2017-05-08T10:38:47.073" LastActivityDate="2017-05-08T10:38:47.073" Title="I feel like a failure for sending my child to nursery - is it too early to send them?" Tags="|pre-schooler|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22324" CreationDate="2015-09-30T12:25:36.367" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the man of the house you sometimes have to make unpopular decisions that are best for the family. If it's the best decision for your family, then that's what it is. Don't feel like a failure, feel like a good father. Plans don't often work out the way they need to, be thankful that you have the means to put your child in nursery, some families cannot and would have to make other adjustments, such as find a smaller/cheaper home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any 'evidence' that nursery is harmful likely to be subjective since A) each nursery is different and B) each child is different, there is no control group or variable in the study that does not change. Now, if they were to refer to a &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; nursery then that's an entirely different matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things you can do to though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Behavioral issues: My oldest has been in nursery since 6 months, and my youngest since 3 months. Any 'behavioral' issues that may arise could come from being around other kids, or simply from them being kids. What we do is correct behavior we think is bad, as soon as we notice it. This of course means we pay attention to our kids behavior on a regular basis. They aren't perfect, but in public they are some of the most well behaved kids you'll see at 3 and 1.5 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;All kids are different, so they learn at different rates, but try to find a nursery that isn't just a babysitter, where the kids will learn and be exposed to different things and kept busy during the day. They should be learning colors, alphabets, animals, read to, etc. This often puts them ahead of kids who didn't learn these things before preschool and/or kindergarten. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hardest part for us was finding a nursery where we trusted the people/person running it, and the curriculum. In the end it came by word of mouth and we aren't disappointed, if we can help it the kids will stay there until they start school and if we have more kids they will attend there as well, at least part time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastEditorUserId="3858" LastEditDate="2015-10-09T12:36:20.020" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T12:36:20.020" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22329" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22334" CreationDate="2015-09-30T13:46:12.450" Score="3" ViewCount="1458" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some facts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My son (1st grader) does not have any boys of his age to play with in my community. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most of the boys are either too small or too big for him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, he has made friends with 3 girls who are 1 or 2 years younger than him.&#xA;Out of these 3 girls, he is particularly interested in one girl. Whenever all 3 of them leave our house, he will wave goodbye to her by calling only her name. Even when playing, he will always show things, etc. to her only. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also at 5:30 in the evening, he will follow a routine to go to her house and ask her and her sister (both are twins) to come play at our house. If we try to stop him meeting her, then either he will cry or throw a tantrum, which is what's worrying me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, it may be too early, but should I be worried about him getting a little over attached to this girl? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I remove over attachment for her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2018-07-16T22:45:10.187" LastActivityDate="2018-07-16T22:45:10.187" Title="How to deal with my 6 year old son is who &quot;over attached&quot; with a girl?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|relationships|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22295" CreationDate="2015-09-30T14:01:53.383" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is unclear what you are trying to achieve with this. The actual question is easy enough to answer&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is a parent expected to be emotionally and socially supportive for the&#xA;  child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, of course are parents expected to do this. However, this can mean a lot of different things to different people and often the view of parents and children about this are wildly different.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the more important question is: what are you trying to accomplish by this exercise? It seems that you feel like a victim and that you want your father to admit that he did something wrong. So let's say your dad says &quot;Sorry son, I screwed up and I apologize&quot;. Would that change anything in your current life? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have problems you should certainly work on those, but primarily forward looking. At 26, you should be looking for partners, friends, social networks, a great career, do some stupid stuff just for fun and just because you can. I just don't see how dissecting your childhood can help a lot with this, especially if it takes a lot of time away from more forward looking and productive activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my advice would be to find out what type of life you want to live and work actively on making this life happen. At 26 this entirely your responsibility and not your father's. Then, you and your father can decide to what extent you want to be part of each other's life (or not). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2015-09-30T14:01:53.383" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22331" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22324" CreationDate="2015-09-30T15:02:56.450" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if you have this option but an alternative to nursery is to find a child minder. In the UK we have Ofsted registered childminders who are childcare professionals. Being registered with Ofsted means they are regularly inspected and will have a grading that you can assess them by.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Childminders deal with smaller numbers of children (at most 5 or so but usually fewer than that) and so have the opportunity to work much more closely with each child and tailor their care to the needs of that child. In my opinion they are also able to teach children much more and guide them in their development without them getting lost in some sea of children that you can get at nursery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children at childminders are still able to make friends with other children their ages and gain social skills, childminders often attend mother and toddler style groups that allow children to thrive in larger crowds of children. My mother has been a childminder for 22 years and she also has a network of childminder friends and they often gather at one house or another for lunch and to allow the children to play together and regularly do outings to parks or soft play centres or things like &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.rhs.org.uk/gardens/wisley&quot;&gt;Wisley Gardens&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know my mother strives to teach the children she cares for good manners and behaviour as well as trying her best to prepare them for school. She spends a lot of her free time coming up with activities that she can do with the children to teach them new things from numbers and spelling through to teaching the children words from the languages of the other children where they have bilingual parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think childminders are the best of both worlds of raising children in a home setting but allowing them to interact with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19224" LastEditorUserId="19224" LastEditDate="2015-09-30T15:09:56.550" LastActivityDate="2015-09-30T15:09:56.550" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22332" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-30T15:22:27.627" Score="5" ViewCount="2131" Body="&lt;p&gt;We live in Texas. My child is 5 years old and an only child. I &lt;strong&gt;was&lt;/strong&gt; a single mom up until 10 months ago. From the age of 9 months until 3 months ago I was the only one caring for and raising my child. We recently moved back to the city where my family lives. The only supporter has always and only been my boyfriend (who I've known for 10 years). My family is in no way supporting me in all this. I get no calls or texts to check on us. I've reached out to them from the start and still no one helps, gives me a break or anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started noticing behavior issues around when he was 2 years old. I reached out to an ECI (Early Child Intervention) program. It started due to delay in speech. So I brought up his behavior issues to our ECI case worker. Also he wasn't around other children until age 3. I wasn't sure if the behavior was a whole different situation. They weren't just tantrums. I literally couldn't be on the city bus, appt or go to the grocery store. My son would swing, scratch, bite and even yell from the top of his lungs. It was horrible and embarrassing. I couldn't do anything. There was always an adult trying to intervene or question my parenting. If I ignored the things my son would do adults would give him attention or say &quot;he's just a kid&quot;. If I tried talking to my son to calm him down they disagreed if I told him no or say something to me as if I was the bad person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 3, my son was in public school. Placed in a Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities (PPCD) class. I was scared for the teachers and students, but they did great with him. They saw the potential in him. He hit, bit, pulled hair, threw objects, destroyed the class on two different occasions. When put in a time out on a bean bag it would take him 15-20 minutes to calm himself down. Screamed, kicked and threw himself on the ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At age 3 and a half I went to seek help because I had people question if he was possibly autistic. He got evaluated, he was not autistic. I then noticed the quick mood changes and anger. I thought maybe he was bipolar. They told me he was too young to evaluate him for bipolar, they could evaluate him for that at 7. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last year around April, I got referred to have him evaluated for ADHD. The doctor who evaluated him for ADHD said he shows signs of both ADD and ADHD. He was then put on low doses of Risperdone and Adderall. About 5 months ago, I took him off both medications. My son is &lt;strong&gt;way&lt;/strong&gt; too energized. Even his teachers were informing me he was way too hyper every morning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now my son is at a new school. New teacher. New surroundings. &lt;strong&gt;Big&lt;/strong&gt; change from the other city. I understand it will take him time to adjust to the big change. But his routine is still the same. Same rules apply as they did in the previous home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took us 3 years to stick and make the routine work. But now it's like he forgot it all. My son is in bed by 7:15pm every night. No sweets (unless it's a piece of cake at a birthday party or a lollipop every once in a while). When he doesn't listen or misbehaves I make him stand him on the wall for 5 minutes. Now I send him to his room which he &lt;strong&gt;hates&lt;/strong&gt;. We took his toys and TV out his room. We sometimes reward his good behavior with the TV or a toy or two. I even made him a treasure box for good behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But lately he's been talking back, making grunt sounds, refusing to listen, wetting the bed all over again. Ignoring us or saying &quot;I don't like you.&quot; or &quot;I hate you.&quot;. He comes home from school telling half truths or making stuff up. For instance, two weeks ago he said his teacher said, &quot;If you don't want to be at this school, fine go to another school see how other teachers treat you.&quot; The next day I went to the school and asked the teacher about what he said. He said my child told &lt;strong&gt;her&lt;/strong&gt;, &quot;I don't want you at this school. I don't like you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He tells the teachers all kinds of rude stuff. I gave his teachers a heads up about his behavior, the lying, picking, and choosing to see who will let him get away with things. And now when I correct his bad choices or behavior he gets an attitude and says &quot;I'm gonna tell on you.&quot; Basically he throws his teachers at us. Because of course the school staff aren't his parents, he assumes he can do whatever he wants at school. He gets stickers, maybe a toy from a treasure box or popcorn. He's eager to go to school because he sees it as &quot;play time&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like I tried everything. Like I'm desperate for any advice or ideas on how to get the behavior controlled, stop the wetting on the bed. Stop ignoring us, talking back, and show respect. I love my son so much it hurts me to be treated ugly. All I ever want for him is to be happy and know we care. Not an angry rude boy. A happy loving 5-year-old. Please help us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19225" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-14T12:27:22.687" LastActivityDate="2019-06-14T12:27:22.687" Title="How to deal with my 5-year-old son who has ADD/ADHD and constantly misbehaves?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|school|tantrums|adhd|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22333" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-30T15:48:48.463" Score="5" ViewCount="758" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What should I tell my 8-year old who thinks that it is amusing to stick the shop-vac hose in their mouth?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record, I took it away and said if they did that again, they don't get to help with vacuuming. (We were doing pretty good as a team cleaning up the family car.) We talked about how dangerous it could be, but it was one of those times when my child pretends not to hear what I'm saying and then argues, so I gave them a different task.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am actually not sure how dangerous this is. Could it cause suffocation or ear damage? Regardless, I don't want my child doing it, and I also worry is that my 8-year old may trick a younger child into doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13311" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T18:19:13.210" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T20:54:53.637" Title="How should I tell my 8-year old not to put the shop-vac hose in their mouth?" Tags="|primary-schooler|safety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22334" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22329" CreationDate="2015-09-30T16:11:15.767" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son sounds totally normal.  He has his group of friends and one of them is a better friend than the others.  Personally, I have my friends and then I have some friends who are closer than others.  I would be willing to bet you do too.  So that part is totally normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that he gets upset when he can't go play with this friend seems normal too.  Right now, that is part of his routine, probably a very enjoyable part.  And when you break that routine, it is upsetting to a small child.  Even more so since he likes it and probably looks forward to it.  I wouldn't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you would rather not have to deal with the tantrums over not being able to play, you can try to make it less of a part of the routine.  You don't need to stop them from playing together, just make it less of a &quot;at 5:30 it is play time&quot;.  Vary the times.  Also try to help him understand that he may not be able to play every day so that is less upsetting when it happens.  Give him warnings earlier in the day that, for example, you will all be going out to dinner and he won't be able to play with his friend that night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-09-30T16:11:15.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22333" CreationDate="2015-10-01T12:28:52.520" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Explaining why you didn't want him/her to stick the shop-vac hose in their mouth didn't work. The reason it didn't work could be because you yourself are not convinced that it's dangerous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We talked about how dangerous it could be, but it was one of those times when my child pretends not to hear ...&#xA;  I am actually not sure how dangerous this is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child had been putting a sharp knife or a blowtorch or something obviously dangerous in their mouth, I'm sure your discussion with him/her would have been more emphatic and clear...and the kid would have stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case, however, you probably shouldn't react the same way as if it were a  knife or blowtorch... it's not about preventing him/her from doing it because it's extremely dangerous, but more ambiguously because it &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be dangerous and you &lt;em&gt;just don't think&lt;/em&gt; it's a good idea. That's harder for kids to understand and take seriously&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Approach it like any other rule you set down for your family. &#xA;Kids at this age can't be expected to understand or agree with all the reasons for the rules you have. To help ensure they comply with the rules nonetheless:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make your expectations clear. e.g. We don't put shopvac hoses in our mouths.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make the consequences clear.  e.g. If you put the shopvac hose in your mouth, you will have a time out for 5 minutes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be consistent and follow through&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep the rules simple and minimal. e.g. if you have a rule for every small little thing, it's hard to remember them all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistent reactions and consequences help ensure kids know what is expected of them. Too many little rules that are sometimes followed, sometimes not, make it confusing and difficult for kids to do what is expected of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-10-01T12:28:52.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22337" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22339" CreationDate="2015-10-01T12:53:37.253" Score="23" ViewCount="5507" Body="&lt;p&gt;I regularly pirate TV shows and occasionally music or movies. &#xA;Other than that, I lead a crime-free life. Like many people who pirate things, I'd never go into a store and steal a cd or dvd, which is ironic and not logical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's wrong, but honestly, if it were just me I would continue to do it. A lot of my friends and family do too, it's quite common these days. However, now that I have a kid, I'm second guessing myself. As a toddler (15 months), I'm sure she has no concept that I haven't bought the things I've pirated. Some day she will though. I want to help her develop a strong moral compass, and I also want to ensure she has a good understanding of the reality of the world we live in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Edit for clarification: By &quot;pirate&quot; I mean downloading tv from websites or torrents. The vast majority is tv or movies that have aired on US tv stations, either network tv or cable&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I stop pirating now? Should I stop later? Should I keep doing it and explain that it's wrong but it's something that a lot of people do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19229" LastEditorUserId="19229" LastEditDate="2015-10-02T07:24:12.127" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T14:05:23.777" Title="Should I stop pirating TV in order to better role model for my toddler?" Tags="|parents|morals|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8408" CreationDate="2015-10-01T15:17:34.833" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;For determining the gender of a name i like &lt;a href=&quot;https://genderize.io/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://genderize.io/&lt;/a&gt; which offers a web service to determine the gender of a name in different countries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastActivityDate="2015-10-01T15:17:34.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22339" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22337" CreationDate="2015-10-01T15:17:42.863" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want her to have a strong moral compass, you'll have to explain (when she is old enough) &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt; you do it and let her make up her own mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you say, a lot of people do it. Often, this means that a lot of people don't consider it to be much of a crime. That also means it's a very interesting way for children to learn about how to judge moral choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she's old enough, have a long discussion with her on why exactly it's illegal to pirate, on who it hurts, on what the consequences of pirating might be for the pirate, the creator of the content, and other people, on when it might be justified to pirate something and when it definitely is not, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't instill much of a moral compass if all you do around her is obey the rules without questioning them or talking about them or having an opinion about them. The fact that you pirate today means you clearly have an opinion on pirating. Denying your daughter the chance to talk about would be a wasted chance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="13196" LastEditDate="2015-10-02T18:40:22.000" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T18:40:22.000" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22295" CreationDate="2015-10-01T16:31:41.783" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Emotional neglect is the least studied of form of child maltreatment, yet it is probably the most prevalent. The way kids internalize these experiences is often characterized by anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression later in life. Awareness and honesty is the first step in changing things for you. For that, I congratulate you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ideally, parents should be there emotionally for their kids. They should be able to listen to painful things, validate your feelings when they were/are valid, take responsibility for and apologize for the things they did wrong, ask your forgiveness, and to make restitution if possible. And yes, I'm serious. I think all this is part of responsible parenting. Even towards a now-adult child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your home should have been one where not only were your physical needs met, but a place where you were loved and cherished, where you had an open, loving, and trusting relationship that made you feel loved and cared for. That's not to say that you would not have had problems in school. But they should have been wanting to know that, wanting to help you deal with that, not wanting to ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, you have reason to feel something vital was missing in your home as you grew up. It's normal, not unreasonable, for you to have a sense of loss and a sense even of abandonment. Hurt usually turns easily to anger, so if you're angry, that's understandable as well. But anger often turns inward to self-blame and guilt for all kinds of reasons, which can lead to depression and feelings of low self-worth. It sounds like you're struggling with a mix of a lot of emotions right now, including self-doubt. So you're here asking what's a parent's responsibility towards a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're right. Your parents were wrong. You deserved better. All children do, even the difficult ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you have to decide what to do with that information, because there are only a few things that you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, you can't change the past, you can't healthily pretend it never happened, and you can't force your father to listen to you or deal with something he doesn't want to. You can't control anyone else's beliefs or behaviors, you can only control yourself. You can, however, reject your father's (and mother's) definition of events and learn how to set healthy boundaries with him. (Read about setting healthy boundaries if needed.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can read books and articles about growing up with emotionally unavailable parents (or emotional neglect in the home) and see how they handled the situation. Your therapist should be able to give you recommendations or steer you here. You will realize you are far from alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you accept your past, (which doesn’t mean approving of it; it just means accepting that it's your responsibility now to deal with &lt;em&gt;the present you&lt;/em&gt;), and recognize your narrative (the things you tell yourself in your head or the messages you give yourself because of the neglect), you can start working on changing the narrative, whether through cognitive behavioral therapy, mindful meditation, guided journaling, re-framing your narrative, cultivating gratitude, and/or other forms of therapy. (Cultivating gratitude never hurts anyone.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point, you'll need to also forgive your parents (probably a number of times; it's ongoing.) You need to do this for your own sake, not theirs, for two reasons. First, it will help you to let go of anger and the burden of expectations you feel for others being responsible for your emotional health. Yes, they actually are responsible, but as an adult now, it's up to you to decide who and what you want to be and to determine how to best become that person. Secondly, it will help you to forgive yourself for your own shortcomings.*&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Forgiving them is writing off their debt to you and starting your own life of taking responsibility for fulfilling your needs. This will not be easy, and will be a process. But the more you let go, the easier it will be. As you become who you want to be, your self-respect will grow and this will also help to change your narrative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally (and this may help you to forgive), all of us are wounded in some way. &lt;em&gt;Your parents were wounded people who probably weren't parented well themselves&lt;/em&gt;. People tend to parent the way they were parented. That they weren't ideal parents doesn't mean they didn't want to be, or that they didn't love you tremendously, or as well as they knew how. Recognizing their shortcomings can help you to work on nurturing yourself and to avoid making the same mistakes when you are a parent yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a long but productive and life-changing road. Don't lose hope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;* I often imagine that people are presented on birth a very long length of &quot;slack&quot; (or forgiveness, as in &quot;cut him some slack&quot;); the more slack they give themselves, the less they need it, and the more they can  spend on others. It's a cycle; which then comes back to you forgiving yourself.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;These references won't help you so much as let you know your feelings are valid.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0145213402005367&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Childhood emotional invalidation and adult psychological distress: the mediating role of emotional inhibition&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2008.01196.x/abstract&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Maternal Socialization of Positive Affect: The Impact of Invalidation on Adolescent Emotion Regulation and Depressive Symptomatology&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-10-01T16:44:26.353" LastActivityDate="2015-10-01T16:44:26.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22337" CreationDate="2015-10-01T16:52:51.373" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm just going to focus on what you are going to teach your child with this.  Any legal issues or discussions about if piracy is wrong are for another time and place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether you should stop now or later or ever depends on what you want to teach your daughter.  Eventually she will pick up on it.  The longer you keep doing it, the easier it will be for her to see all the things you've pirated and ask you about it.  Then you either have to teach her that it is wrong and you should stop or it is wrong but its okay to do it anyway.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to teach her that it is wrong and should be stopped, you need to obviously stop and then get rid of &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; you have pirated.  If you do, you show that wrong is wrong.  It also shows that it isn't acceptable no matter how much you want something.  If you don't, you send the opposite message, one that it is okay to benefit from wrongdoing or that it's okay because &quot;reasons&quot;.  It's kind of like slugging your brother (hard and very on-purpose) then giving an insincere &quot;sorry&quot; because it was &quot;wrong&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel it is okay to teach her that it is wrong but it is okay to do anyway, go on pirating.  This will bring up conversations about what makes it okay to do wrong things despite the fact that they are wrong.  This can get potentially messy trying to teach your daughter what justifications (&quot;lots of other people do it&quot;, &quot;I really, really wanted to&quot;, etc.) are acceptable and when they apply and when they don't.  I would also not ever be surprised if she does something you find totally unacceptable but then argues that it is okay because of justifications A, B and C.  She will probably also throw the piracy thing back in your face with a &quot;well how come you can pirate all those things and it's okay, but I can't do X?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would say stop now and get rid of all the pirated stuff you own.  It will make it far easier to show her that wrong is wrong and right is right.  When your words say one thing and your actions say another, you get moral ambiguity.  You end up with a lot more gray areas which lead to a weaker moral compass.  (Not saying there won't be some gray areas anyway, you just end up with less clear cut things and more places where you can talk yourself into being okay with any choice.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T14:05:23.777" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T14:05:23.777" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22269" CreationDate="2015-10-01T20:01:40.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give him power over it.  Tell him to tell it, &quot;Bad smoke detector!   Don't you make a false alarm again!  If you do that again I'm going to replace you!&quot;  Tell him &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; gets to decide when to replace it, either now because it already made a false alarm and scared him, or next time it does so.  (Tell him it's okay to give people second chances.)  Tell him that's true of all the smoke detectors in the house: that &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; have to be afraid of &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; if they are faulty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4975" LastActivityDate="2015-10-01T20:01:40.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22346" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-02T00:07:23.023" Score="5" ViewCount="1184" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I am an atheist and so is my husband, and our 8 year old son is taught religion in a school since it is mandatory for all students, we didn't object because we thought that we could tell him about the &quot;fallacies&quot; later when he grows up to become a teenager. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he didn't need us for that and during a class in which the teacher was explaining how &quot;kind&quot; and &quot;merciful&quot; God is, my son raised questions and then making the conclusion that God is not at all merciful, leading the teacher (who is extremely religious) to angrily go over to the seat of my son, grab him by the shoulders and slap him furiously TWICE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The teacher then accused us of &quot;degrading&quot; his mind and that it is &quot;not normal for such a young boy to naturally behave in such a way, unless he has been taught to do so&quot;, when we haven't done nothing. My son has never used a computer so he did not get the ideas from the internet, and he has no friends in the class as he's very introverted and usually extremely quiet. And I do understand that perhaps his words may have been inappropriate, but for the teacher to just abuse him like that is totally unacceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We argued with the teacher since I was very angry, and the principal intervened to let it go and advised us to correctly teach him the Bible and to teach him some &quot;manners as well&quot;. This ofcourse came to us as extremely offensive, why should I teach him the Bible? The school is entirely on the teacher's side, and I feel that the teacher will continue to misbehave with my son. And I think we should report him to the police for this. But...would it be right to do so? Are we just really making a big deal out of this? What if the teachers behave rudely or just don't give enough attention to my son after this, should I say something to them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I must also stress that we cannot take him out from the school since we live and work in a very small town distanced away from the city, and there's only one elementary school here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19239" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-15T10:31:56.103" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T10:31:56.103" Title="A religious teacher slapped my son twice for refuting God, what should I do?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|manners|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="11" ClosedDate="2015-10-02T10:25:53.467" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22348" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-02T02:36:32.650" Score="2" ViewCount="228" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1-month old son startles very easily when sleeping and frequently squirms around, even in a dark and quiet environment. I don't know if he's having a bad dream or what. This happens whether he's in my arms or in his cot, although he's a little bit more settled when in my arms. While sleeping he would startle or squirm every few minutes, and we'd have to SHHHH and pat him down. This would work several times, but eventually after no more than 60 minutes he would wake up crying. We swaddle him, play soft music, sing, hold him for 30 minutes, and do everything we can to not overstimulate him. We put him to sleep on his back and on his tummy under close supervision, same results. Please help. Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE: I have been keeping a sleep log for the past couple of days and found that he sleeps on average 10-11 hours a day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19244" LastEditorUserId="19244" LastEditDate="2015-10-08T00:50:40.020" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T00:50:40.020" Title="1-month old son cannot sleep peacefully" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22346" CreationDate="2015-10-02T05:27:27.693" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to skip over the entire religious part of the question and answer what you should do about the much simpler part:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If a teacher physically assaulted your son over a verbal debate, you should take legal steps. This person is unfit to be a teacher.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should talk to a lawyer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T05:27:27.693" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11916" CreationDate="2015-10-02T06:52:29.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The very fact of making a point of discussing different racial or ethnic issues with young children can simply emphasise to the child that there is something of concern about people of different race or ethnicity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest the main thing you can do on these things is lead by example.  Treat everyone as people, regardless of their race or ethnicity.   Recognise that everyone has unique personality, and respond to them based on their behaviours and actions.  If someone behaves badly, respond to the behaviour, not the person's race or ethnicity.   Encourage your child to do the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child asks questions that touch on race or ethnicity, then give simple (you are talking with a child) but honest answers.  If they ask questions about racist behaviours and attitudes exhibited by others, then obviously you need to respond honestly to those questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do your best to ensure your behaviours are consistent with your explanations.   If you slip up - which it easy for people to do, since racism is a multi-faceted concern - be honest about that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14630" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T06:52:29.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22258" CreationDate="2015-10-02T09:38:42.763" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's certainly OK to offer food or drinks at night, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/guide/what-is-baby-bottle-tooth-decay&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;teeth need to be brushed afterward.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might decide to wean your child off eating at night in order to get uninterrupted sleep for baby and uninterrupted sleep for you too!  According to &lt;a href=&quot;https://books.google.com/books?id=soY1FV4ft8cC&amp;amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;amp;dq=Ferber&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ved=0CBwQ6AEwAGoVChMIq8SY4r2jyAIVhR0-Ch2bwQb5#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=Ferber&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Ferber&lt;/a&gt; and my personal experience, in weaning off night feeds, when done gradually, your toddler will get used to not having a meal at that time. Eventually the hunger will shift to other times of day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I weaned off breastfeeding at night, and replaced it with formula or whole milk for the first couple weeks when my toddler was waking for her middle of the night feed; I would reduce the amount in the bottle each night. I found that to be easier than cutting down on nursing time (putting her back in bed after 5 minutes of nursing made her really mad and awake).  But if the bottle only had a small amount in it, that was easier for her to accept. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe that technique will work for you too.  At 18 months, we only give her water at night; she wakes maybe once night per week asking for water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T09:38:42.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14797" CreationDate="2015-10-02T09:45:37.587" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I were you I would return the favor. I would often invite him to visit and complain when he refuses, in the exact words he complains when you have to refuse. Some people learn only by examples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19248" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-02T11:26:30.973" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T11:26:30.973" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22354" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22360" CreationDate="2015-10-02T10:40:00.087" Score="28" ViewCount="446074" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 22 weeks in my pregnancy and my baby does kick and stretch at times. Yesterday he poke a limb/head/butt out on my tummy which I could see a firm lump. I showed my friend, and she pressed on the lump quite hard , causing the lump slowly disappeared and the baby to reflex a kick on another spot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am worried if my friend had pressed too hard on the limbs/head/butt of my baby, will my baby get injured or broken limbs? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do still feel kicks after that but no more firm lumps since (1day ago) ..&#xA;Should I be worried?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19250" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-02T15:23:53.597" LastActivityDate="2017-12-19T01:05:39.027" Title="If a pregnant woman's tummy is pressed hard, can the baby in her womb get hurt?" Tags="|safety|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22354" CreationDate="2015-10-02T12:46:35.460" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The impact is absorbed by your own belly, and the baby is floating in a bag of water, which absorbs even more. Unless you're seriously bruised or still hurting from the poke, the baby will be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll start taking damage to your own belly before the baby is at risk, so don't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T12:46:35.460" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22337" CreationDate="2015-10-02T15:15:40.250" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Replace pirating in your question with speeding (defined as ever going above the posted speed limit). Is some level of speeding &quot;ok&quot; (e.g. going 5 MPH over) any amount (e.g. 50 MPH over) or none? Should you never speed to be a better role model for your daughter? After all, speeding is breaking the law regardless of your justifications for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you want your daughters morality to be defined by the laws of the country in which she lives? Otherwise, what role do they play in shaping/defining her morality? How does she know whether a rule/law is just or unjust? If she judges it to be unjust, should she still follow it? When is it ok to break the rules? Which rules? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are only questions that you as her parent(s) can decide and help her work through. Ultimately she is going to form opinions for herself, but your role is to help guide her towards principles which you believe are sound. For some people, it's completely unethical, and 'wrong' to break any laws for any reasons. For others, their morality may be informed by how their actions affect others, and not by strict yes/no boundaries. For others it may fall somewhere in between. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of where you land, as Erik suggested, this is an area that you will need to talk through with her, be ready to explain your decision making process and also why others may disagree with you, to help her see all sides of the issue. In other words, it's an excellent training opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6234" LastEditorUserId="6234" LastEditDate="2015-10-02T15:42:55.387" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T15:42:55.387" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22354" CreationDate="2015-10-02T18:05:43.523" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I asked our OBGYN the same thing basically. He explained that it takes a really hard hit to go past the barrier provided by the amniotic fluid. So something like a hard push is definitely not a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we were advised by our doctor that my wife resting on her stomach was no problem (as long as she was not in pain), so her body weight can be pushing on the baby without hurting her. So there is really no way your friend pushing with her hand like that would have hurt the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also had a bit of a scare with our daughters movements becoming smaller. The doctor told us that that is no concern, the thing that matters is whether or not there is movement, not how hard the movements are. The baby re-positions and that effects how hard the movements feel (or whether or not they produce firm lumps).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, all of that is straight from our doctor as answers to our own questions. You really have nothing to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19259" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T18:05:43.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22348" CreationDate="2015-10-02T18:12:46.820" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This has a surprisingly simple answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The brain doesn't properly shut off the limb muscles during sleep yet.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we sleep, our brain cuts/surpresses the impulse to move to our muscles, else we would be flailing our arms and legs or start walking during our dreams. Even in us adults this may not work in 100% of all cases, as we probably all have observed. In infants (sometimes up to school age), this &quot;shutdown&quot; often is not fully developed yet, leading to lots of movement during sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, this can be irritating to watch and even wake up the child, as you observed. Yet there is little you can do - brain development can't be rushed. So if your child twitches and twists a lot, consider swaddling. Sometimes mechanically restricting the movement helps, sometimes it is even worse, this depends on the child (I have two, one of each type...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And this is a classic case of the often repeated parents' mantra:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;This, too, shall pass.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T18:12:46.820" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22359" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-02T18:59:46.653" Score="2" ViewCount="177" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm worried about my granddaughter who is 3.5 months. She is not even wanting to use her legs to stand up when we try to make her stand.  But I can see when she's laying down she moves her legs, and when she's mad she kicks very strong.  Do we need to ask her doctor about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19260" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-02T20:23:50.420" LastActivityDate="2015-10-11T18:38:21.170" Title="When can I expect an infant to be willing to stand?" Tags="|infant|development|milestones|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22354" CreationDate="2015-10-02T19:26:32.093" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's fine to 'poke' the outside of the baby bump. In fact it's the first 'game' you can play with your little one. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Is it okay to poke my pregnant belly?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure… if that’s what you want to do. It might seem weird at first, since baby is so small and still developing. But your baby is incredibly well cushioned in there. Remember, she’s floating in a sac of amniotic fluid, which is surrounded by a thick, muscular organ (your uterus). On top of that is your skin and belly fat (more cushioning!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, just because it won’t hurt baby, doesn’t mean she can’t feel you poking — in fact, baby will probably feel you move and poke before you can start to feel her, which is usually at around 18 to 20 weeks. And when baby’s big enough, she might even poke back!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Kelly Kasper, MD, ob-gyn and associate clinical professor at the Indiana University School of Medicine, in &amp;quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thebump.com/a/safe-to-poke-belly&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Is It Safe To Poke My Belly?&lt;/a&gt;&amp;quot; for The Bump&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A baby in the womb is quite well-protected, it takes a hard fall - the kind which injures mum - to injure the baby:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the first trimester, a thick, muscular uterus and an even more protective pelvic bone shield your baby, so it is nearly impossible to injure her if you trip and fall. By the fifth month, however, your uterus grows beyond the protective shell of your pelvic bone. While the chances of injury from a simple fall are still very unlikely, many pregnancy worries stem from these changes in your body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... There is no need to worry unduly about minor falls. Your baby is well protected by the natural shock absorbers of your abdominal muscles, uterine muscles, fetal membranes and the amniotic fluid, all of which cushion any outside blows. &lt;strong&gt;It would take an accident that seriously injures mommy to have even a remote chance of injuring baby&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/pregnancy-childbirth/fifth-month/growing-concerns&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Growing Concerns&lt;/a&gt;, Ask Dr Sears&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T19:26:32.093" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22359" CreationDate="2015-10-02T20:49:42.500" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Three and a half months is much too early to be trying to stand up. Most babies don't start to stand up whilst holding something until around 7-9 months although they may be putting weight on their legs before then with help. 3.5 months is even very early for sitting up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a link for what you might expect babies to be doing at any particular age. &quot;Can bear weight on legs&quot; comes at 4 months but &quot;stands while holding onto something&quot; is listed as an advanced skill at 7 months &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6476/milestone-chart-one-to-six-months&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6476/milestone-chart-one-to-six-months&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even so, all children develop at their own pace with their own strengths and weaknesses. Three and a half months seems way too soon to be putting pressure on a baby to be making any big achievements. Just enjoy your granddaughter while she is tiny - it doesn't last long!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-10-02T20:57:47.540" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T20:57:47.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22337" CreationDate="2015-10-02T21:32:54.107" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The fact that your asking the question indicates that you feel guilty about it. If you feel guilty about it, than that must mean that you believe it is morally wrong. Therefore, you should stop doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If something is illegal but you think the law is stupid and there's no good reason why it should be illegal, that's a more complicated question. I've told my kids that there are laws that I think are dumb but that I nevertheless obey because the consequences of getting caught are too high for it to be worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Of course there could always be issues where you feel morally obligated to break the law -- like if I'd lived in Nazi Germany where the law required you to report Jews so they could be shipped to concentration camps, I hope I would have had the courage to disobey. But that's not the issue here. You may think a law against video piracy is unjustified, but there's no moral imperative to break it. No one's going to die because you didn't download a TV show.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just recently I filed an insurance claim for some hail damage to my roof. My daughter asked me if I'd also claimed the damage to our chimney. I said no, the chimney damage was there before the hail storm. She said, yeah I know, but did you report it to the insurance company as hail damage? I am very glad that I could honestly say, no, of course not, because it wasn't. How embarrassing it would have been if I had had to admit that I sold out my integrity for a couple of thousand dollars. But it had never even occurred to me that one of my kids would ask about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2015-10-02T21:32:54.107" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="88" CreationDate="2015-10-03T04:09:13.947" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I say get rid of it around 6 months to a year for sure. If your child is 2 years old and still asking for his pacifier, I say tell him he's a big boy now and it's time to throw it away. Encourage fun activities because he is a big boy (or girl)! Deal with the crying for a couple of days, and bam they are over it! I assure you they will be fine!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19267" LastActivityDate="2015-10-03T04:09:13.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22370" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-03T12:11:53.507" Score="6" ViewCount="484" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4 year old daughter who's life I have been in and out of (more out than in since we're being honest). I have royally screwed things up with her mother who is now married. I have a crippling desire to be accepted but am convinced that no one could possibly accept me for me. But I'm tired of being a deadbeat father, and truly want to be a part of my daughter's life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how to go about talking to her mother again, with all the lies, I'm sorry's, and broken promises, not to mention epic failures since we've known each other. I just don't know how to go about speaking with her. I'm really just looking for advice to get past this one hurdle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19268" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T18:18:38.690" LastActivityDate="2019-04-15T18:32:42.103" Title="How can I become part of my daughter's life again?" Tags="|primary-schooler|single-parent|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22371" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-09-29T19:59:57.043" Score="9" ViewCount="1037" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I speak English together because I don't understand her language and she doesn't speak mine, although we are both fluent in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're having our first baby son soon and we were wondering is there any way we can teach 3 languages?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;English will be the main house language first reason you already know it. Second reason because we're moving to an English speaking country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to teach him my language so he can communicate with my parents and my wife wants to teach him her language so he can communicate with hers, is there any way around this? How can we start and what's the easiest way to do that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="charles" LastEditorUserId="2294" LastEditDate="2015-10-14T22:47:15.990" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T04:16:07.907" Title="3 languages family" Tags="|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22371" CreationDate="2015-09-29T21:53:55.897" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It would be sort of hard for a child in that context to not grow up as a primary English speaker, so the question is how to also develop abilities in the parental languages, esp. when the parents don't speak the other's language. Direct instruction is completely useless: children pick up languages from the fact of it being spoken (and used at them). It's pretty common for children to learn both parental languages (even if each parent speaks only one language), it the language is spoken in the country of residence. So for example, a child could learn Hausa and Yoruba growing up in Nigeria -- but it is much more difficult if they are growing up in the US. Apart from you frequently speaking to your child in, say, Turkmen, one needs some element of social / language reinforcement, in the form of visits to the local Turkmen immigrant community where the language is frequently used. A monolingual grandparent is extremely useful in that respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user6726" LastActivityDate="2015-09-29T21:53:55.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21196" CreationDate="2015-10-03T14:39:36.330" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I happened to come across this thread and wanted to provide some information that I think would be helpful.  I am a parent, licensed landscape architect, and certified playground safety inspector.  It's important that you know that there are already many guidelines and regulations surrounding public playgrounds that should be adhered to.  These standards have been around since the early 1980's when first published by the Consumer Product Safety Commission.  You can get their most recent guide here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cpsc.gov/PageFiles/122149/325.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cpsc.gov/PageFiles/122149/325.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;In addition the American Society for testing and Materials has issued several standards since the early 1990's related to play equipment manufacture, surfacing, fencing, etc.  While not law in every state, these standards and guidelines have been used many times as a basis of lawsuits against playground operators.  In addition, you should know that as of 2010 the Department of Justice has required that all playgrounds meet specific laws related to the Americans with Disabilities Act (these used to be recommendations).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Believe it or not, the design of a play area is no longer a simple task.  Options like grass, asphalt, or concrete around elevated play equipment is no longer an option.  However, these types of materials can be utilized outside of the fall zones.  Other surfacing types such as engineered wood fiber, PIP rubber, tiles, and synthetic turf are all viable options to meet the ASTM standards for impact attenuation and ADA access.  Each surface has pluses and minuses and there is a huge difference in price points for each.  My recommendation is to start talking to knowledgeable playground professionals who know the standards and can help you make the best decisions that will not come back to bite you if there is an incident or the area is audited by someone like myself.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19271" LastActivityDate="2015-10-03T14:39:36.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22375" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22382" CreationDate="2015-10-03T18:03:17.620" Score="2" ViewCount="1195" Body="&lt;p&gt;A brief background:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been divorced for 3 years now. My ex wife wants me dead, she made threats like &quot;Both of us won't come out of this alive&quot; near the end of our marriage. She has opened an assault case against me, the case is not over yet. In short, she made a huge scene one morning while dropping of my 5 year old, screaming for help and later sent my 5 year old to go look for help (like I had her handcuffed or something), seriously, I haven't seen someone behave like my ex wife did that morning. I went after my 5 year old since I do not want anything to happen to her, and of course, she's traumatized through the scene my ex wife made. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My ex wife wants to party, she had a new boyfriend which I actually liked apart from the fact that he was the lead singer of a band that had the following slogan &quot;How much snake can you take&quot;. All the feedback I got from my 5 year was good. My ex wife sent him packing and is now on the market so to speak, partying away. My ex wife would drop my 5 year old at my parents place while not informing me, including my parents. At any point in time I have no idea where my 5 year old is, I can try and contact her mother, but she either, ignores the call, text or whatsapp. If I try and call on a wednesday afternoon to chat to my 5 year old, my ex wife would do say stuff like, she is in the bath, or she doesn't want to speak to you, she is playing outside. That trend ended up in me not calling anymore. I cannot trust a word my ex wife says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My ex wife has no set schedule with me regarding when and where I may/may not see my 5 year old, it's always a game of ok, you can see her at 10am for instance on Saturday, then later on that day (Friday), she texts me to say that my 5 year old wants to be with me. I know, because I know the way she handles things, she didn't have an event planned on friday, but did manage to have an event at around 9PM on friday night. My ex wife does everything and anything she wants, I gave her a car and everything in the house we stayed in when getting the divorce. I literally left with my car and a bag full of my clothes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having an open assault case against me I have my hands tied behind my back, I can't say, display or hint to anything or she can go back and make some more trouble for me. Apologies for the way in which I try and explain things, I am very confused and miss my 5 year old badly. I am lucky that I get to see my 5 year old every weekend, but my question is the following: I am a programmer, I like to code until 3am or 4am, I might then sleep until 10am. When I wake up, I see a lot of calls made to and from my ex wife. Trying to get in contact with my ex wife is difficult as I've stated before. But, during those calls, my 5 year old asked my ex wife to come and fetch her, keep in mind, she was dropped off at 9:30pm friday night, at 10am saturday morning my 5 year old have already scheduled a move back to her mother. Who then knocks on the door a while later and leave with my 5 year old princess. Sometimes hours would go by while my 5 year old doesn't even tell me that she scheduled all this and pretend that nothing is going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love my princess with everything I have inside, I do anything and everything to try and have a good relationship with her even though I do not know how to have a relationship to begin with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there something wrong with me?&#xA;I know I can't change anyone else, I learned that lesson with my divorce, I haven't had a girlfriend since. Is there something I can do to prevent my 5 year old from doing this, should I try to prevent this or is it better to have her with her mother if that is what she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas are welcome, as I am alone, I live alone and wait for the weekend to be able to see my princess, I have no other reason to get up in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1776" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T20:25:44.953" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T20:25:44.953" Title="My 5 year old princess makes me feel unwanted" Tags="|primary-schooler|communication|single-parent|divorce|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-10-09T11:42:09.207" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22377" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-03T20:50:40.907" Score="9" ViewCount="322" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to ask two related questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How can we encourage a child who is in 3rd grade with ADHD/ADD to do his own homework without relying on his mom?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How can we teach him to behave more calmly, to listen to and be more respectful of others?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19273" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-29T11:12:58.463" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T11:12:58.463" Title="How to encourage my 3rd grade son to be more calm, respectful, and responsible?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|adhd|special-needs|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22379" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-04T03:58:51.177" Score="1" ViewCount="231" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may be a bit outside the normal question scope here, but it's worth a shot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like at most Montessori schools, parents at our daughters' school have a variety of volunteer roles. In one of our girls' classrooms (it's a &quot;primary&quot; class, which in the Montessori system means 3, 4, and 5-year-olds) we are signed up to provide the flowers for the flower arrangement area this month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are about 16-18 kids in the class. We are bringing flowers each Monday this month, I gather. What kind(s) of flowers should we be bringing, and how many?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2748" LastActivityDate="2015-10-04T07:45:36.120" Title="Flowers for Montessori primary classroom?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|teacher|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22379" CreationDate="2015-10-04T07:45:36.120" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tough ones. Kids have a way of not being delicate with these things. Especially if you're trying to arrange them properly, they'll take a bruising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different colored and shaped ones. A set of all white flowers might be beautiful for a wedding, but children will not be impressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ones with long stems. Otherwise they'll be hard to arrange. They'll probably need to be shortened for each child, but better to start with a long stem than without.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And probably cheap ones or ones picked from the side of the road or gardens, because you'll be going through a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(For amounts, I do not know. My little one seems quite impressed if she puts 5 different flowers in a vase, but I do not know the expectations of your teacher. I would ask them for information)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-10-04T07:45:36.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22370" CreationDate="2015-10-04T14:06:42.473" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I have seen some rough stuff.  That means that part of this letter is written essentially speaking to those other people that I knew.  The things that I'm going to say are good for them.  I hope you are not as lost as they were.  It will make the suggestions even more effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you happen to be less damaged/lost then some of the content of the answer might sound aggressive.  It will sound like I am saying &quot;quit&quot; when in fact I am saying &quot;go&quot;.  Please hear the encouragement and specific actions from this answer.  Only in the worst cases am I saying &quot;walk away&quot;.  It has to be said sometimes - there is a good reason why every government in the world has the right to take kids from bad parents.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Background:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I am the oldest of six kids, from a family-proliferating culture.  My father is a perfect wreck - likely the only good thing he did in his life was procreate us kids, and his job would have been done with less damage and evil in the world if he died immediately after we were all conceived.  He is a monster.  When my mother ran from him, she never stopped running.  She is still running today.  We moved every 3 months for years and years.  I grew up on welfare.  Not one of my family members made it to 16 unmolested.  Most of our friends were also on welfare, so very poor.  Many were also abused.  &lt;strong&gt;Bottom line: I know what deadbeat looks like on the receiving end, and have seen what does and does not work, so I can speak to it with a little authority.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may not like the tone or substance of my answer.  I'm writing what actually works.  You don't have to like it.  I recommend that you try for a whole month (literally 0.1% of your life) doing it all.  Keep a journal/log for each day.  At the end of 30 days take stock and see if you have made progress toward the goal.  Empirically validate the results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Encouragement:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When my sister was looking at divorce, and her 5 year old daughter had no daddy - I told her &quot;You could give her the best in the world, and they would be a B+ but if you took her deadbeat dad and he tried - even though the world saw a C, he would an A+ to her.&quot;  Ineloquent, right?  Children are engineered to respond to their biological parents.  There is some conversation about initial imprinting on the perinatal child, like geese, but after that the mechanisms are set for that developmental stage.  Still ineloquent.  If you actually work at it and stick to it then you can do a lot of good in your daughter's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This is the part that sounds like &quot;no&quot;, but is really &quot;be real&quot;:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;About 15 years ago, on Christmas eve, I met a lady literally inside the dumpster of my apartment complex.  She was weeping and desperate.  She needed something for Christmas for her kids  (the state had taken them) and she was digging through trash looking for .. anything.  True story.  After much midstory - she got custody of her son but not her daughter.  But then she fell back into the addiction, and introduced him to it.  She got a new boyfriend - big, muscular, and very capable of violence.  He chased off her husband, and that marriage was over.  The tweaker son started &quot;converting&quot; his friends until they had a whole club of high-school age tweekers living in that apartment, painted the windows, cooking meth - it was bad.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She should have been left in the dumpster - because while her ruined life would be ruined, that of her son, of her husband, and of all those kids her sons age - they would not have been destroyed as well.  There would have been a lot less huge collateral damage.  That sad woman and all that waste ... long gone.  Nothing to show for amazing grace and another chance that nobody got, that she got, that she not only wasted but utterly burned to the ground. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be her.  Don't be like her.  Not even a little.  If you are going to end up doing something monstrous to your daughter - your wife left for a reason - then just walk away.  Let it go.  Give her the least gift, the Darwin award gift - of blessing her life the most by not being in it.  If you are owned by meth, or oxycodone, or heroin - just walk away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I tell you how to make it right, and you can make it right, and then you wreck your daughters life - the universe is going to be very very angry at you for it.  You are required to live up to the truth that is in you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: don't &quot;come to play&quot;.  Come to win.  Come to &quot;die with your boots on&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to measure deadbeat-ness (or lack thereof):&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I teach my daughters than any worthless guy can talk and act like a perfect prince charming for ~3 months.  He will say only what you want to hear and do only what you think a perfect charming does for about that long.  Narcissists have less endurance.  This is the edge of the envelope that willpower and hormones give them.  After that window they start having failures - they start becoming obvious.  Some start playing dual-games.  Some quit.  Some &quot;man up&quot; or &quot;human up&quot; or grow a soul.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way to not get used/fooled/broken is 1) words, 2) actions, 3) over time (much greater than 3 months).  Remember his words, and actions, and how they line up, over time.  Life is the long run, not the sprint.  Meaning and significance only show up if you are in life for the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My (genius) wife says there is a passage of the bible that gives all these things that make up a true love and if a boy can't meet them all then he isn't actually loving.  It starts out &quot;Love is patient, love is kind, ...&quot;.  If you can't put his name in there where &quot;Love&quot; is, and think through his words and actions over time and it be true then he isn't actually loving.  If she can't say &quot;Cameron is patient, Cameron is kind&quot; and think over his words and actions and agree that he is in fact patient and kind - then Cameron really isn't actually loving.  He can emit the sound &quot;love&quot; but in truth it isn't what he is or what he is doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the whole text:    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(1 Corinthians 13:4-8) Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not boast and is not arrogant, it is not rude; it does not seek selfishly, is not easily angered, does not keep a record of wrongs, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are actually growing in those criteria, then you are loving.  Then you are not being a deadbeat, and you are moving away from a deadbeat.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Execution: Paying your debts.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Your starting place is earning credibility with mom. You owe the mother, pay back your debts.  She is the gate-keeper.  Don't start big, or ostentatious.  Paying back $20 a month for 100 months is better than promising to pay back 200 a month, and only doing it once.  Read the book &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/1444413953&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;how to live on 24 hours a day&lt;/a&gt;&quot; once a day - it will give you some wisdom about how to think through keeping disciplined programs in your life so you can actually do the $20 a day.  Seriously.  Buy the book, in paper and read it.  Re-read at least one chapter every day.  Seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Execution: Speaking the truth.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I taught my niece this - when you lie, it lives in front of you.  It eats away at who you are, and at things around you.  It owns a tiny piece of your soul, and the more you lie (the bible calls the devil 'the father of lies') the more it owns.  The way to stop all the power of the lie is to speak the truth.  You need to speak the truth in front of every lie and every harm you have given.  Lies, like secrets, only have power when the truth is not present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should work on a letter that tells your wife the truth exhaustively.  Write down every single thing you did bad and what you should have done.  Not a con.  It will hurt you to write it, and you will be scared to give it to her or you aren't doing it right.  Write down every last little thing you did wrong.  Say what you did wrong, and what you should have done.  Don't justify at all.  Just say what the truth is.  If you lied, then say what the lie was, and what the truth is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The letter is not about you.  It is about what you did versus what you should have done.  It is not how you felt.  It is not what you wish.  Make it clean - and not filled with baggage.  Make it so that true substance is as easy for her to process as possible.  The goal isn't emotional catharsis for you, it is truth and actual healing for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Delivery&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Don't present this as taking from her.  When you give her the letter say that is a way of letting go.  Let her know what it is - a written list of everything.  Let her know that if she wants to burn it without reading it, she may.  Tell her you are sorry for what you did wrong to her, and she deserved to not have that happen.  She deserved somebody better than you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask her to read through it, and tell you if there is anything you missed.  If you owe her truth, and you owe her saying that what you did was wrong and she deserved better - then give her the chance to tell you where it is, and do something about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might let your daughter read it.  She might use it as a weapon against you through your daughter.  You can say &quot;I made enough hurt for her so maybe not adding to it with this is a good thing&quot;.  You can say &quot;whats-his-name  is a good dad, so maybe he is the dad she should know&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make a photocopy of the letter and keep it for yourself.  Read it at least once a month - and see if you are more or less like that screw-up.  If you know who not to be you can be surprised how you are less and less like them over time.  This can keep you from the darkness, and also show you the light that you are becoming.  It is not a bad thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some day your daughter is going to search for you, try to find you.  If the family is perfect, she will still want to meet you and know who you are.  Given that your ex was drawn to you - I suspect that your daughter will have more than an equal share of sad.  She might not get a train wreck, but you are proof that your ex has a little damage.  This, allowed to go its own way over time, will either get resolved with qualified and excellent counseling, or it will make your daughter pursue you sooner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a book called &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/1591453429&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Letters from Dad&lt;/a&gt;&quot;.  Read it.  Execute to it.  When you and your adult daughter meet up in a restaurant, you can give her an amazing gift that transforms her identity for the better, transforms her life for the better, and plugs a couple of gaping holes in her heart, and maybe her soul.  This is an avenue of approach where if you always engage, you always win.  It is the total opposite of Loki in Avengers (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmHXipbAv1M&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;link&lt;/a&gt;). &lt;strong&gt;In life those sorts of &quot;always win&quot; approaches are rare, so engage here.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The instructions that I am giving sounds like the opposite of what you want.  Don't trust your current intuition.  The goal is the well-being of the child.  The approach is about the kind of truth that stages for actual credibility.  It is win-win-win.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be faithful in your paying back for the wounds.  If you can make mileage there, it will be worth it.  In your character.  In the long run.  In the lives around you.  In your daughters future.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Execution: how to change the person you are&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Act from the person of a man of integrity for long enough, and you will transform yourself into it. &quot;Fake it till you make it&quot; actually works in just one place - oh, but it is a good place - it works in personhood.  If you act and speak from the character of the person you should be, then over time you will become more and more like that guy.  Eventually you will be him.  The real challenge - the magic - is in the vision.  If you act from a trite pretentious inbreed who is pretending to act nice - you become that.  You have to think through well and deep what actual excellence is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find that &quot;ensemble methods are robust&quot;.  It is nerd-speak, but it says &quot;get a statistically acceptable sample of insight&quot;.  In statistics, 1 is a poor sample.  5 is pretty weak, and 30 is starting to get good.  Find 30 really good examples of excellent character, and try and act from the &quot;vote of the field&quot;.  In all of your dealing, from homework, to housework, to car care, to bill paying, to how you treat your coworkers, your boss, and your customers - find what the most excellent way is and act only from that.  It will transform you.  If you are tired say &quot;how do they deal with tired&quot;.  Read up, actually study.  Personally I would recommend a &quot;great books&quot; study, but that is an answer for when you are farther down the road to ... life, health, improvement.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Execution: Protect the kids' best interest.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Part of credibility to mom, and truly giving good value to the kiddo - guard mom's current marriage - start by respecting her man as her man and respecting her as never being yours again. Come to terms with it.  Never cross that line.  There are not many things that will wreck a daughter's life like being a child of a single parent - statistics say what politicians can't.  Single parenthood is bad for all the outcomes.  You might (remotely) get lucky and be an outlier, but tens of millions of historic cases say - the most likely outcome is not so good.  If you want that little girl to have a future then she needs a mommy and a daddy who are in her life, who love each other and her, who are a team working to give her the chance to be a successful person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Execution: keep your eye on the prize.&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;What we stare into - we are changed into its image.  If we stare into the darkness then we are changed into the image of the darkness.  If we stare into the light then we are changed into the image of the light.  If we stare into ourselves ... it is like a literal mental analog of how inbreeding destroyed the ancient Egyptian monarchy.  They could only marry royalty, and so they inbred.  Inbreeding means that all these (mostly broken) recessive traits get amplified and expressed.  After a few generations of that the Royals then had a host of genetic diseases and frailties to cover up.  They had a bad mortality rate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we stare into ourselves for too long, it is like the millionth photocopy of a photocopy - it degrades.  Eventually it is unreadable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stop looking at yourself.  You live in a society of pathological narcissism and it is poisonous.  Get fresh air, sunshine, and exercise daily.  Seriously - get a 24 hour fitness membership and literally put one hour on the elliptical 6 days of every week.  Go give some time to the poor every week - go serve in a soup kitchen and let those folks talk to you.  Look at their bad choices.  Look at their habits of decision and execution.  Learn from folks who know how to screw it up, and regret, so you don't have to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The exercise will make how you feel different.  The bilateral stimulation of your brain will help you process through your broken-ness better, both thinking through it and emotionally processing it.  A healthier, fit, you is the kind of image your daughter needs to have for father because when she is older she will unconsciously look for a man with many of your characteristics.  This is the tape-recorder thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The serving the poor (think Feed my Starving children) is how you make sure that you aren't just doing this for a day or two.  It is a practice that helps you stay afloat, and helps you stick through the long run.  In jogger nomenclature this &quot;gum and headphones&quot;.  It is something easier than the hard thing that makes you able to do the hard thing 10x longer than you would. This is a place of immense wisdom about what to do for hurts.  I'm sure nobody has told you this but there are 200 bad answers for every 1 really good one.  They can help you find the 200 ways not to do it without having to learn the hard way.  Let their wounds buy you your healing.  Talk to them.  Listen to them.  Get the free good wisdom they have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't break the 4 year old's heart.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe in God and with my own eyes have seen the power of prayer.  If you believe in God then you should pray for the health, well-being, and life of both your ex and your child.  I find that specific requests help, both in scope and results.  Instead of saying &quot;God do good&quot; you can say &quot;my ex needs to get past hurdle x this week, please help her to do a, b, and c to get through it&quot;.  Example: my ex (use her first name) is trying to make the best decision for her and my daughter (user her name) life, so please give her the direction she needs, help her to recognize it for what it is, please make the alternatives that are less good harder, and help her get through where you know would be best for her.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Example: my daughter is going to daycare. The kids there are often poorly monitored and half-feral to each other.  God keep her from being a target by the others.  Keep her from learning to be feral like that.  Help her to get through her days without being bitten/hit/kicked/robbed/bullied.  Build in her the character that while keeping her from being a victim also keeps her from being the aggressor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When I literally got rid of my television, I discovered that I had another 40 productive hours per week.  You should consider staying away from TV or computer screens for a week, and measuring the time you have to be productive.  I also discovered that I was dependent on the events of some shows for my sense of emotional well-being.  It was an unhealthy object in my life and my mind and self was much better for having been rid of the device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19201" LastEditorUserId="16159" LastEditDate="2019-04-15T18:32:42.103" LastActivityDate="2019-04-15T18:32:42.103" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22375" CreationDate="2015-10-04T16:37:58.933" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It breaks my heart to hear how badly things have gone between you and your ex-wife--this has no doubt been a VERY difficult time for your daughter (and you).  Even an amicable separation is hard on kids, due to (at the very least) a significant reduction in the time they spend with their parents. Let's face it: even if the time is spent with each parent 50-50, they are used to having you both at once.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your situation, it appears as though your daughter isn't spending that much time with either of you. Your ex-wife seems busy with her new life which, (unless it's open drug use or sex in the presence of the child, or abuse) you cannot control, as you stated. I bet this is at least part of the reason your daughter wants to go home. I'm only speculating, of course, but I know that MY kids always want the absent parent right up until the minute he or she walks through the door. Absence makes the heart grow fond, I guess.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is not much you can do about your daughter missing her mother, nor would you want to. Although you portray her badly (no one here knows her or her side of the story--we must be objective), she is still your daughter's mother and she will remain the light of your daughter's life until she's quite a bit older.  It would be a mistake to try to break the spell by talking badly about her to your daughter.  Nor should you try to discourage her from wanting to go home (that's normal) however, I do think it's inappropriate for your daughter to be making phone calls and plans without your permission/supervision. (It's inappropriate for your ex-wife to be engaging in violating court ordered visitation either.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask if there is something wrong with you, and I interpret that as &quot;what am I doing wrong/what can I change.&quot; (What's wronv with you is not a question we can answer here!) The most obvious thing that needs to change is your work schedule! You say 1) that you &quot;like&quot; to code in the wee hours of the morning and 2) that your daughter doesn't like spending time with you because all you do is sleep.  I assume you have control over your work schedule since you say you &quot;like&quot; to work those hours. however, you don't like that your daughter wants to leave and can make arrangements to leave as a direct result of this choice. If you are getting up at 10am, your daughter has been &quot;unsupervised&quot; for at least a few hours (or more depending on how early she gets up-my 5 year old gets up at 6:45 even on the weekends-in your case that would be almost 4 hours alone!) This has got to change! You need to find out what time she  gets up and then arrange to be before her or at least at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't change your work schedule, which is totally understandable (I know that I can't change mine, for instance) then I would suggest you find a babysitter for the morning so that she isn't alone.  Or, if she still naps, then the other alternative is to get up with her (albeit not very well rested) and then make up the sleep by taking a nap at the same time she does.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you both are on the same schedule, you will have eliminated the opportunity to reach out to mom to make plans.  At first, I'm sure she will still want to call mom and/or want to go home. I don't think it would be a bad idea to let her make a supervised call (just to talk though, not to make plans) at first. However, you have to work on making your house her home away from home if you want to eliminate the homesickness. As soon as possible, you should start establishing a new routine with her to replace the unhealthy one you have now. Start first thing in the morning. Have breakfast together. Take a walk to watch the world wake up. Whatever you do, just be present. Fill up the time with things she likes to do so she doesn't have time to think about home. You don't get to see her that often so make the best of it. Don't spoil her, but do make an effort to make her feel she is a priority to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that being said, you need to take care not revolve your whole life and emotions around your daughter. A 5 year old cannot be the center of your universe and the sole focus of your attention/love. It is very unhealthy for you and for her it is a burden. I would highly suggest that you get some counseling to help you be a more balanced person.  A divorce is a major event-most people need to talk to someone to get through it. Your daughter needs you to be healthy and to model healthy relationships (both with her and with others in both romantic and platonic way.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, you could think about joining a library or a playgroup where you both could get some socialization with other kids/parents. If your daughter makes friends at your house, it will be another reason to want to stay with you and not try to return to her mother's.  If you live in the same neighborhood as her mother, you could even set up opportunities for her to see her usual friends so she doesn't feel like she's missing out on her weekends with you. If you are afraid her mother will attempt to interrupt a playdate (at a friend's house) to get your daughter, make them at a playground or public place so you can stick around to watch.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the behavior your daughter exhibits where she is keeping things from you (she made plans but said nothing): It appears she doesn't trust you. At this point, there is nothing directly you can do--trust is something that takes time to earn. It is unfortunate that you are the one she lost trust in, but it is not uncommon for the non-custodial parent to suffer this consequence. I would suggest you set a clear expectation with her that as her parent, she is not to do things without your permission. Set out other rules as well, give her examples of behaviors that are unacceptable, and give her consequences she can count on should she disobey and establish a reward system should she choose to behave. Follow through with them if she breaks your rules, and reward her if she chooses to behave appropriately.  Although it may seem counterintuitive that punishment will make her trust you, believe me it does because she learns that you stick to your word and that she can count on you. Believe me, she needs that now more than ever.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My final bit of advice which I give with trepidation since if borders on legal advice which isn't allowed here is to seek protection of the court that established your visitation if your ex-wife continues to cut into your time with your daughter. I don't know where you are, the unique facts of your case, or the laws in your jurisdiction, but generally, one parent should not be able to take the child from the other without permission. If this is happening, contact your social worker or whoever is handling your case. You have done the right thing so far by not making a scene and respecting your child's wishes but you have every right to see your daughter during your appointed time.  Children don't always know what's best for them-it's our job as parents to choose wisely for them at times, and in your case since you and your ex-wife don't agree, the court exists to mediate.  Take advantage of you need to but only after you've done your part to resolve the situation on your end.  You need to prove to your daughter and to the court that you are capable of acting in her best interest, and protecting her time with you is ultimately in HER best interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2015-10-04T16:37:58.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22293" CreationDate="2015-10-05T05:48:28.557" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried asking him WHY he ignores you?&#xA;As you noticed - it's clear that your son is choosing &quot;not to hear&quot; probably (speaking from my own experience), because it's usually about something you want him to do that is not nice nor pleasant for him (like &quot;it's late, you should end playing by now and go brush your teeth&quot;). In that situation you can (after repeating your request several times) sit next to him, gently grab his arms, look him in the eyes and simply say something like:&quot;I know you can hear me, so why are you pretending that you're not?&quot;. The point is to show him, that he CAN has a different opinion, he can disagree with you but it's better to manifest it verbally. You also can ask your child would it be nice for him if you were the one ignoring him so he can understand that it's not feeling very nice to be ignored. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17856" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T05:48:28.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22348" CreationDate="2015-10-05T08:35:25.210" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Was your baby born earlier than expected?&#xA;Have you tried to wrap him with blanket to limit his movememt? It's very effective if not to tight. Also, I would consider some white noise generating devices (you can buy a humming toys wchich calms baby down by reminding them womb noises. Some old school mums used hairdryers noise and it worked too! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17856" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T08:35:25.210" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22388" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11810" CreationDate="2015-10-05T12:52:10.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Treat it the same way you would treat it if Timmy looked you in the eye and said &quot;I won't do that.&quot;  He is hearing you and refusing to obey - it is plain disobedience.  If one of my kids was playing a game or reading a book and they pulled this trick, and I was pretty confident that they really did hear, I'd probably take their game or book away for the rest of the day.  Or go over, turn the tv off or get in front of them where they can't ignore me, make them put their book down, and tell them, &quot;do you know what you are doing?  You are trying to disobey by pretending not to hear.  Now you get to help carry the laundry and then do the dishes on top of it.&quot;  Expect obedience and never tolerate disobedience.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I like Chrys' idea, and that should be a general parenting pattern.  Our kids should love the sound of our voices.  To them it should trigger thoughts of encouragement, fun, listening to their problems, words of love and affection.&lt;p&gt;  Still, even so, they might try this trick.  Kids test those boundaries; they have to, because they do not know how firm or what parameters the &quot;obey&quot; rule has.  To discover what &quot;obey&quot; looks like, they have to run little experiments.  It's up to us to make &quot;obey&quot; a very consistent concept; deviations not tolerated.  Never say &quot;oh, well, I'll just do it myself.&quot;  That might be easier in the short run, but encourages a pattern of disobedience that will bite you hard in the long run.  Once the order is given (and a request from a parent is an order), it should be obeyed.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;But again, like Chrys said, the first, most important, most recurrent message our kids should be hearing from us is that we love them, enjoy them and think they are awesome.  Discipline is truly effective only in that context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-10-07T20:32:08.147" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T20:32:08.147" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22227" CreationDate="2015-10-05T14:13:44.500" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;People, of any age, are far more likely to both &lt;em&gt;remember&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;obey&lt;/em&gt; a rule when it is accompanied by a &lt;strong&gt;reason&lt;/strong&gt; that the rule exists. It changes the rule from being &quot;a restriction imposed by authority&quot; to &quot;a logical best course of action&quot;. And the reason should not be in the context of &quot;why &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; must not lie&quot; (you'll be punished), but rather as &quot;why &lt;strong&gt;people&lt;/strong&gt; must not lie&quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to your son that the reason it is so important that he not lie is that doing so could potentially cause something bad to happen, which he did not intend, and that would not have happened if he had told the truth. Give an example where the unintended consequence is more serious than he would expect from the lie itself, but be sure to cite a natural consequence of the lie, and not an imposed consequence of the lie's &lt;em&gt;discovery.&lt;/em&gt; This is also a good opportunity to teach him empathy, if you can use an example where the consequence is not to himself, but to someone or something he cares about: a best friend, his favorite teacher, a pet, or perhaps even &lt;em&gt;(caution may be advised regarding this last one, depending on family dynamics and the child's temperament - don't give ammunition to a child with anger issues)&lt;/em&gt; his parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, remember that children learn from the behavior of their parents and other role models. Be sure you set a good example of not lying yourself (or if you absolutely &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; lie, be sure he cannot catch you in it). &quot;Do as I say, not as I do&quot; tends to produce obedience only for as long as direct observation is occurring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17352" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T14:13:44.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22377" CreationDate="2015-10-05T16:43:35.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How can a child who is in 3rd grade with ADHD/ADD enforces himself to&#xA;  do his homework without relying on his mom?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1.)  Be as sure as you can about the diagnosis.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to take a moment to tackle a difficult topic first.  ADD is real, but there is a concern by many people that there are a number of false diagnoses for ADHD and ADD.  You can read these articles for an overview (&lt;a href=&quot;http://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2010/nearly-1-million-children-potentially-misdiagnosed-with-adhd/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Michigan State University&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/02/understanding-the-rise-in-adhd-diagnoses-11-of-u-s-children-are-affected/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Time Magazine&lt;/a&gt;).  So, correctly addressing this reality with your son is very important to your questions.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2.) Understand the limits your son has&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son has a real disability by definition that means he cannot stay focused on his own.  The fact that he has ADHD means he needs help.  Understand what his limits are.  Help him learn to build stamina through exercises and skills which help focusing.  I don't know what these are, but they can help him reach whatever level he is able to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3.) Don't push him past his limit&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is obvious, but easy to overlook.  We all want our children to be successful.  It can be hard to accept limits when they apply to school, since learning is tied to success in our minds and our culture/society.  For me it is more important my kids understand their strengths and weaknesses, learn to accept what they've been given (happily and joyfully!!) and in that context achieve all they can in life.  I have three kids, and if one is a doctor, one a lawyer, and one a waitress I already know I'll be so proud of them all just the same if they are happy in their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How to adjust his behavior to more calm, listen and respect others?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This ties back into number 2 above.  There are skills and practice that needs to happen for him to learn and &lt;em&gt;apply&lt;/em&gt; new behaviors.  Being calm and listening may always be things he struggles with.  That is just what ADHD is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, no matter what else may affect him respecting others is something he can do.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How you personally define that matters a lot.&lt;/strong&gt;  If your definition of respecting others is to sit still and pay attention with a solid steady gaze while they speak to you, then you already know he will struggle with that.  On the other hand if your definition of respect is saying yes ma'am and yes sir then you have every reason to expect him to be able to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with all children and parents learning takes time, patience, and lots of consistent effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-06T16:43:48.483" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T16:43:48.483" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22397" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22333" CreationDate="2015-10-05T16:52:24.993" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the concern is (at least it seems plausible) that the shop vacuum is much more powerful than a regular one, one way to teach the child would be to demonstrate it in impactful yet less-dangerous-than-their-mouth way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often, experiencing something is infinitely more effective than being told in abstract.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offer to apply to some other part of their body - first, protected by cloths and then skin alone - while turned on. (First, obviously, do research and test on yourself how painful/damaging it would be). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T16:52:24.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22034" CreationDate="2015-10-05T20:17:52.340" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What do you mean by &quot;love&quot;?  If you mean the way it is often portrayed in media and talked about by people, a feeling of affection, then that may never be the same for your new grand-daughter, or it might take a while, and that is natural.  Feelings come and go, they can be affected by something as trivial as weather.  A bad cold can make us feel so irritated at everyone in general that we treat a person that we otherwise &quot;love&quot; with the very opposite of affection.  Affection is a terrible way to define love, and yet it is what most people mean by it when they say the word.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;If on the other hand, by &quot;love&quot; you mean a commitment to put the other person's well-being ahead of your own, for the rest of your life, then you should start to love your new grand-daughter, the same as the other, starting yesterday. If we mean by &quot;love&quot; the kind of patience, kindness and favor that a grand-parent is expected to show their grandchild, then those are actions and attitudes and decisions, not feelings.  You can decide to treat both of them the same, no favorites, starting today.  Nothing will do more to grow your affection toward your new grand-daughter than a decision of your will that she is the same to you as the other, and that you will treat her so.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Your son should not have had to tell you that you should only send a present to one if you are sending a present to the other.  Maybe only your earlier grand-daughter got on the honor roll.  If so, it is probably best to avoid the present anyway, just to avoid even the appearance of favoritism.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Real love does not take time to grow.  I have loved my children since the moment they were conceived.  By that I mean: I have sought the best for them, I have busted my butt making sure they were taken care of, provided for, protected, well trained. That has at times meant 14 hour workdays.  Ok, so I worked 14 hours, spent 6 with them (and my wife), helping them with their homework and hearing about their day and praying with them.  That left 4 for sleep.  Fine, I'll sacrifice my sleep before I sacrifice their well-being.  Earlier this year, I had some savings and needed a car. I could have bought a nice new one.  Or I could put a chunk on my oldest daughter's account, for her college expenses, avoid her having a bigger debt when she gets out.  That meant I would get an older, used car.  Not a hard choice to make.  You love people with that definition of &quot;love&quot;, and the emotions will follow most of the time and the rest of the time emotions won't matter.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I would suggest that you make a trip to see them, if you can, and plan with your son that while you are there, you will take your grand-daughters out on dates, one at a time, your new grand-daughter first.  Or send them flowers, the new grand-daughter first, then a couple of days later, your other grand-daughter.  Make sure the florist gets the exact same arrangement, and have them sign it &quot;to my beautiful, special princess, from your loving grandma&quot;.  Commit to your son that you will always treat them the same, and apologize for the error in calling one your &quot;favorite&quot;.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;You know how special your first grand-daughter has been to you.... you have just had that blessing doubled.  It may not feel like it yet, but you can get excited about that, about sharing the awesome grandma-princess relationship with not one, but two special girls.  This will not diminish, but multiply that joy for you and for them.  Don't worry about the feelings, they will come.  But don't waste time waiting for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-10-05T20:24:50.797" LastActivityDate="2015-10-05T20:24:50.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22399" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22404" CreationDate="2015-10-05T22:45:17.540" Score="3" ViewCount="1138" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the downsides and the advantages to using time-outs to discipline a toddler? (My daughter is 21 months old.) Are there reasons to use them? Reasons to avoid them? What are the pros and cons either way? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read that they are good when used immediately and consistently, but I've also read that children don't necessarily associate them with a reason to behave better and they're just a punitive measure. I can't really see how any alternative forms of discipline (that mostly seem to involve talking to them and validating their fears) would work with a toddler.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4798" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T18:09:28.907" Title="What are the advantages and disadvantages of time-outs?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22400" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-05T23:40:34.137" Score="4" ViewCount="1479" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a just turned 4-year-old step daughter whose life I have been in for almost two years. In July, we went on vacation (myself, my 16-year-old son, one of his friends, my 12-year-old daughter, one of her friends, my husband, his 7-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got there on Sunday and by Monday evening the youngest was constantly crying. Nothing happened, nothing was wrong with her and nothing had changed. She just started crying whenever I'd talk to her, her dad got out of her sight (even when he went to the bathroom). This lasted all week making things absolutely miserable for the rest of us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's now October and it hasn't stopped. She used to be fine with me, no problems between us at all. I play with her, bath her, fix her hair and include her with my daughter when we do things. But now I can't even ask her a question or look at her without her bawling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't take it any more, I don't care if we get her or not when we're supposed to. I'd rather be at work than home when she's there. I'm at my wits' end; neither my kids nor I can take the constant crying and whining. I love kids but she has turned into such a brat I don't want to be around her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19286" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-07T12:09:49.353" LastActivityDate="2019-06-07T12:09:49.353" Title="What to do about my constantly crying 4-year-old step-daughter?" Tags="|pre-schooler|crying|step-parents|blended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22377" CreationDate="2015-10-06T01:10:22.603" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've referred to my own answers a lot in this Answer. That's somewhat because there are a lot of people with similar concerns, and it's come up before. It's also because I have an ADHD son, and we've tried a number of things that did and didn't work. But I am not going to claim I'm the only expert out there: plenty of perspectives and ideas are available. Look for those other resources too, as you continue to learn more about your son's behavior and what works (and doesn't) for your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Read a lot.&lt;/em&gt; ADHD has a multitude of symptoms, and not all children have all symptoms; advice that works wonderfully for one child may be useless for another. Be willing to try a variety of approaches, keeping what works and discarding what does not. (Much of the advice is useful whether a child has ADHD or not!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Consider professional help.&lt;/em&gt; I've gotten lots of advice and ideas from other parents and the internet, but we also work with professionals. His pediatrician is our primary point of contact, and has referred us to other specialists for diagnoses, therapy, and counseling. If you're uncomfortable or disagree with their opinions, ask questions or push back: as a parent, you know your child best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently gave another answer about helping with homework, advice that can work with either an ADHD or neurotypical child. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/22096/4054&quot;&gt;I suggest reading through all that&lt;/a&gt;, but here are some of the highlights:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kids are &lt;em&gt;tired and hungry&lt;/em&gt; after a long day at school. Start off with a healthy snack for a quick energy and mood boost.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be willing to &lt;em&gt;let him take breaks&lt;/em&gt; as he accomplishes tasks. For example, if he's got a three worksheets to complete, he can get up and do something else briefly after each one is finished.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Stay nearby.&lt;/em&gt; Many kids, ADHD or not, struggle with focus on homework. Gentle, persistent reminders to keep looking at the paper, keep thinking about the topic at hand, stop staring out the window -- there's really no way to avoid this. You don't need to sit there pointing at each question, but be in the same room so he can be kept on task and ask questions when needed. (Our homework &quot;station&quot; is the kitchen table, so I can cook while he fidgets and grumbles his way through assignments.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise effort. He's working harder than many kids because he's fighting to focus, and that deserves credit!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also suggest &lt;em&gt;establishing a schedule&lt;/em&gt; (homework is done when you get home, right after your snack and before play time), and emphasize that &lt;em&gt;you believe he can do this&lt;/em&gt;. If he hates homework as much as my son, there will be lots of arguing and excuses at first. (&quot;I can't do this&quot;, &quot;I don't want to&quot;, &quot;I'll do it later&quot;, etc.) Calmly refuse to accept all of that: he needs to sit down for his homework now, and he is capable of doing it, and if he has any questions about the content you are happy to help, but he has to attempt it himself first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, when you set up a structured schedule and help organize big tasks (&quot;homework&quot;) into smaller ones (&quot;reading&quot;, &quot;math&quot;, etc.), describe why you're doing this. You understand he finds this challenging, here is an idea that may make things easier. Not only does this acknowledge and accept his difficulty, but it provides lessons he can remember later in life (college, work) when you aren't there to guide him. (&quot;Oh yeah, when I was overwhelmed by a big homework assignment my mom helped me break it into smaller jobs. Maybe it will help if I try that now with this overwhelming thing...&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's an ongoing process, but it can and will get easier over time. Two years ago I never expected my son to get through his homework without a tantrum. Now -- it's regularly manageable, and sometimes even &lt;em&gt;easy&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for helping him be more calm and respectful, that can be more of a challenge depending on which particular ADHD symptoms your son tends to have. Keeping that in mind, I've got a couple other answers that you might want to read (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18845/4054&quot;&gt;about motivating a ten year old to take responsibility&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18560/4054&quot;&gt;helping a five year old who struggles to concentrate&lt;/a&gt;). Again, the highlights:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Concentrate on positive statements and praise.&lt;/em&gt; ADHD kids are almost constantly told how bad they are at paying attention and being calm. They can't meet expectations, and therefore conclude they are inherently flawed -- even though they just need to put in more effort. All that self-blame and low self-esteem can cascade into anger, depression, behavior problems, and an general attitude of &quot;I'm not going to bother listening because all I ever get is criticism and scoldings.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do need to provide guidelines and discipline, but look more for opportunities to strongly praise good behavior (&quot;thanks for waiting patiently with me in the store!&quot;) and little successes (&quot;good job finishing your homework today!&quot;). Keep praise related to effort applied, not natural intelligence or skill. ADHD requires more work, and having that be recognized is rewarding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, &lt;em&gt;be willing to remind gently and repeatedly&lt;/em&gt; what expected behavior is or what needs to happen. Remove distractions if they're getting in the way (like a favorite book that's irresistible when he should be getting dressed). When he's starting to act up, calmly remind him to stop (&quot;I need you to not run while we're in the store&quot;). Sometimes, letting him know something's ending soon (&quot;we'll be done shopping in a few minutes, I need three more things on the list&quot;) may be enough for that last burst of patience. In any case, though, &lt;em&gt;calmly&lt;/em&gt; is very key: remind him of appropriate behavior, rather than scold him for inappropriate. Often, that persistent reminder can get him through a stressful experience that might otherwise lead to hyperactivity or a tantrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T01:10:22.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11967" CreationDate="2015-10-06T02:51:05.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If doctors take issue with being asked to wash hands, patients are not to feel responsible for hurting their feelings as long as they ask in a respectful way. It's the patient's right. A little awkward discussion in the room is far less harmful than an infection. Most doctors will be happy to wash up. They know it's part of their job. If they are confrontational about your polite request, by all means, address the concern with administrative staff. It's your health and your right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19289" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-10-06T05:57:23.593" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T05:57:23.593" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22399" CreationDate="2015-10-06T03:12:33.240" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have used time-outs for both our kids. The advantages we've found:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's a pretty light punishment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it stops punishments (and anger) from escalating.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it gives the kid time to calm down if angry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can control just how much of a time-out it is; sometimes, you can just send the kid there while you explain why they are in trouble. Other times, it can be used to deprive the child of attention when they are acting up to get attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can stick a lesson in the time-out (eg: you'&#xA;re in timeout until you count to 70 by 7s).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it scales. On the odd occasion, we time-out our 13 year old.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Downsides:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;context is everything, you need to know when it works.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it may not work for every kid every time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you can't always do it when not at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It works for us, but there are a number of other courses of action depending upon the infraction. As with anything, try it with your kid(s) and see if it works for you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T03:12:33.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11967" CreationDate="2015-10-06T06:23:20.600" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's important that your doctor wash their hands, but less important than you might think. As a health care provider, I wash my hands before examining every patient, but it's out of respect for the patient's feelings, not because my hands are particularly dirty (I wash my hands after every patient encounter. I'm unlikely to bring you that patient's germs.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trust me, the germs are everywhere, not only on the provider's hands. They are on the chart, on the door handles, on the stethoscope, the chairs in the waiting rooms, the table with the flimsy paper, the instruments, all over the patient sign-out area, etc. They are, in effect, unavoidable. And your child is not the only person who suffers. Every time a doctor who sees children moves to a new area of the country, they are repeatedly sick for a couple of years. It's called &quot;pedi-crud&quot;, and they get it from your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's my take as a health care provider. What can you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In every patient room with a sink, there are handwashing instructions posted on the wall. Before you get started into any conversation, notice the instructions and ask the doctor if they believe handwashing is critical to fighting the spread of disease. They will probably answer, &quot;Yes, of course.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well done, you've painted them into a corner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then answer their questions. If before the exam the doctor doesn't move to wash their hands, just say, &quot;Um, would you be so kind as to wash your hands? You've convinced me of it's importance.&quot; They should be quite happy to, chuckle and do so. (Most doctors are happy to make their patients happy. It really is that simple.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they do not, you may have either a very pragmatic doctor or one without empathy, but it's hard to tell. I would bring the lack of respect for the handwashing request to the attention of the office manager in this case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been brought up short by a patient or two (though not for hygiene); it's a humbling situation but not irreparable. Patients are often very good teachers as well. A wise doctor will listen to what they have to say. Both parties win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-11T17:22:43.473" LastActivityDate="2018-03-11T17:22:43.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22407" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-06T07:37:43.947" Score="54" ViewCount="23886" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 16, and I don't know what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents are controlling everything I do and watching everything I do. I think I'm going insane. I thought a counselor or psychiatrist could help me but it hasn't helped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've made mistakes in the past (2 years ago) trying to date older guys (18 years) and now I tried to date a 20 year old. Now I'm completely over that but my parents won't let me talk to anyone anymore. They won't let me go anywhere anymore (never really did anyways) and I don't know what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no one to talk to. They tell me it's my fault that I took that privilege of having friends away. They force me to go to church, I still go to counseling, but they're still keeping me from doing things and seeing people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried to get out, I've tried to see and talk to people but I always end up back in my house, alone. I've been clean, no drinking nor smoking, or anything and it seems that they don't care that I stopped. It's like they're forcing me to go back to who I used to be but I just can't go back, I mean, I am who I am, right? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what's real and what's not anymore... my parents keep telling me I'm not alone but I am. They're always at work and my brothers are too busy on the internet or playing on their game systems, and I have no other family to talk to because we never keep in touch. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not trying to put my whole life on here but I'm just so confused about so much, and it seems as if no one can help me. All my friends were forced away, and some just stopped talking to me because my parents would freak out whenever we would talk or hangout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They never let me stay at a friends house, or hangout with anyone because they're making bad choices, though my parents are also. I can't say anything to anyone or make a post about anything because my dad freaks out on me, and threatens to send me to juveniles... which people tell me he can't just send me without a reason but he always has a reason, even he'll come up with one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just have no one to talk to anymore... I feel like I can't talk to anyone or do anything because my parents are always behind my back watching me, I feel like I can't breathe. I would say more but if my dad ever finds this and I say anymore then I don't know what will happen, he'll probably send me back to juveniles for something... I'm scared to do or say anything... but I need something, hope, I dont know... just don't know what to do anymore...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19290" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2015-10-07T10:48:48.453" LastActivityDate="2016-12-26T04:23:28.317" Title="My parents are taking over my life, I think I'm going insane" Tags="|teen|parents|relationships|working-parents|" AnswerCount="13" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22227" CreationDate="2015-10-06T08:39:15.490" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/How-to-deal-with-lying-and-encourage-honesty-.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This site&lt;/a&gt; has some very good stuff on understanding and helping to resolve lying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotal:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most success we had in this situation was to make a sticker chart where if the child told the truth when it would advantage him to lie he got a sticker. That actually broke his habit of immediately lying about things -- he had got so used to lying he would lie about ridiculous obvious things as a reflex without even thinking. We rewarded the good behaviour. I have got it wrong plenty of times though. Making our child understand that he lied and and then punishing that just resulted in more fear and therefore more lying, so I couldn't advise doing that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically it seems to boil down to safety, trust, fear and love. Like most things with children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T08:39:15.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-06T09:09:05.400" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;Going from your answers and with my gut-feeling:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to get your counsellor to REALLY push for some family-sessions. These are NOT for &quot;you did this, so I did that&quot; blaming, but hopefully for supervised LISTENING. Right now, the relationship to your father sounds deeply broken from both sides, and you both need help to understand each other again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your counsellor will not follow that wish, you should consider trying to find a new one, or perhaps even a full-scale psychiatrist. Your writing, to me, appears not only desperate, but panicked, and that may be a hint whatever and however you are working on with your counsellor fails to work; it may just be a bad match, it may also be he is just not fully qualified to find the core of your problem (if there is a mental health issue involved, diagnosis is important, if if not, being sure about THAT is good, too!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, my best guess is your school counsellor: he has experience in dealing with parents, try to get his support, too. He may at least have some organisation you can turn to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, for now, the last bit: ask your counsellor or school counsellor to try to explain one thing to your father: It is their actual &lt;em&gt;duty&lt;/em&gt; to keep certain things between them and you; that is the only way you can trust and fully open up to them! That is also the reason I asked about the pastor: they are authority-figures who sometimes &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; to keep things confidential except for &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; rare occasions. And while I am unwilling to judge your father, it sounds like he does need to learn one thing: having &quot;secrets&quot; is sometimes very very normal. It is called privacy, and VERY important to everyone.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(If you where less scared, I would almost suggest you start keeping track of when you go to the toilet and give him the records of that... may drive home the point that there are things he does not NEED to know...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addendum due to comments about the parents being right:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Yes, I do see the view of the parents as well. Which is exactly why I was looking for a third Party that could be approached: currently, direct, unassisted communication sounds almost impossible due to the pressure OP is under and the fear her parents feel for OP. Understanding between them will, hopefully, follow.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;@OP: Just a personal word here: Yes, you messed up, but you work on getting back on track. Good for you, keep doing that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastEditorUserId="11241" LastEditDate="2015-10-09T09:35:51.593" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T09:35:51.593" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-06T10:16:21.633" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is hard to say what is best to do without knowing more information, but I'll share my thoughts based on what you said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't know what caused your parents to act the way they do, but it does not seem like a supportive environment for you now.&#xA;If the situation is not downright abusive though (are you physically in danger?), I wouldn't suggest doing anything drastic about it like escalating confrontation or leaving home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, try to focus on yourself.&#xA;Firstly, having friends to talk to always helps, and if your parents control what you physically do outside of school you can still talk with people online (being a member of online communities did help me during rough times).&#xA;If you have a way to communicate privately (either while parents are at work or from your phone), use it to keep in touch with your friends.&#xA;This is &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; important if you feel like you're losing it. Keep contact with someone who will be your anchor to reality. If it means finding new friends, do it. Start an activity that will keep you away from home and in touch with new people (any hobby, classes, training, something...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, start to seriously work on your own life.&#xA;At the risk of sounding cheesy, you are 16, your life has just begun and you have plenty to look forward to.&#xA;Things may look bad now, but keep in mind that this is only temporary.&#xA;Unfortunately, we don't get to choose our own family, but we do get to choose what we do with our own lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't judge your family, they are who they are and they have their reasons. They probably love you even if they act (imho) completely wrong about it. However, it is not your responsibility to &quot;fix&quot; them, and what you describe is not a healthy atmosphere for you. It is time to think about your future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what do I mean?&#xA;You're 16. Soon you'll either go to Uni or start working. Whichever your choice is (and it is your choice), start preparing for it now.&#xA;You don't know if things will get better or worse at home, but you can put in effort into increasing your options once you're 18.&#xA;Work on making it possible for you to create your own life at that point. Probably getting some money prepared would also be a good idea, so taking some part-time job now would be useful (and could be of benefit to you in the sense of spending less time at home, which is a good thing considering the toxic atmosphere you describe).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably can't change your parents, but you can go towards a future in which you are no longer dependent on them. Keep in mind that that future is not too far, and that you have the power to do it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stay strong, think of the day you are your own boss, but don't hesitate to ask for help if you feel like things are too hard. Everyone needs help at hard times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14001" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T10:16:21.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-06T12:09:08.247" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The problem is they don't trust your judgement. Maybe they have a reason to, as in trying to protect you from older men, or maybe they are just over protective but it comes from a place of love. They just want what is best for you .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to change things is to talk to them. Ask them what their fears are, why they don't trust you and what you can do to change that. Then work with them to change their perception of you and earn the trust that will give you more freedom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt it will happen over night, it usually takes a lot of small steps over a long period of time to earn someone's trust, especially if you did something to lose it in the first place. Also be honest with yourself, did you truly do nothing at all to end up in the situation you are in ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T12:09:08.247" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11548" CreationDate="2015-10-06T12:35:40.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hiccups are very common among the babies. They are caused by overfeeding or when a baby swallows too much air. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Most of the times, hiccups will go away on their own. Otherwise a gentle massage on the baby’s back will help in getting rid of hiccups.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give him a pacifier or something to chew on, this can help relieve your baby’s hiccups.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here are few tips to prevent:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Hold the bottle at a 45-degree angle so that the air settles at the end of the bottle, therefore baby will not swallow the air.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The hole in the bottle’s nipple should be of proper size. If it is too big the formula will flow too quickly and if it is too small your baby may gulp air.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Feed your baby as soon as they seem hungry so that they drink slowly otherwise they may swallow excess air during a crying fit.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;During the feedings take a break and rub on the baby’s back to make the baby burp then resume feeding after your baby burps. This helps to bring up the trapped air that leads to hiccups.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel your baby is uncomfortable, not feeding normally or not growing normally then talk with your paediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16714" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T12:35:40.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-06T13:34:19.233" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of great you took the step to counseling, you should continue your visits. But do not expect immediate results, this will likely be a slow process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I understand your situation somewhat you made some bad choices in (boy)friends and now your father doesn't trust any of your friends anymore. You need to show your father he can trust you again and this will be a long and difficult process so do not try to rush anything, change comes slowly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When talking to your father, do not try to change his opinion, people don't work like that. Try to admit to what you did wrong (in his eyes) and most importantly why it is wrong (this really needs to come from you, try to be specific, don't just rephrase his arguments). Now an important note: when you cannot find a good reason why a specific thing was bad, tell him you accept it as wrong and then ask him to explain why it is wrong, then tell him you will consider what he told you. The important thing is to then calmly consider his arguments (from his side) when you are alone. You can discuss the ones you don't completely understand with your counselor, he should be able to help you understand them. If your father sees you act reasonable, admit mistakes and understand the why, he will change his opinion, but not by arguing (even not when done in a friendly maner). Such a way of communication will show you mature but isn't easy to learn, so prepare such talk before and have the preparations at hand when you talk, this will also help you not to go of topic into a (heated) discussion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you mention you have brothers, I'm going to assume they are older or not younger than 14 (2 years). Having a good relation with them might just be a first step in having your father believe you are on a better path. Siblings generally tend to look out for each other and as a result could provide a trusted person your father would not deny you to see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand you have difficulty connecting with them because they are constantly playing games or on their computers. One way you could try to relate to them is to try to play a game together, sure you may not enjoy the game itself but that was not the point remember. Try to see the game like you would a sleepover (or whatever you like doing with your friends), it is the social part that is fun (laying awake in bed is not that great).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possible approach could be to try to make some friends at church, your father will likely approve of them. From there you can start gaining your privileges back. Now I can understand you might see those teenagers as &quot;lame&quot; and whatnot but it is very likely there are some of them that are in a similar situation as you are, being smothered by somewhat overprotective parents. They might seem &quot;lame&quot; but how can you know before you try to be friends. And hey they might never become your best friends but one bird in the hand is better than ten in the air remember.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final point, and I understand this will be very hard, if you want to convince your father you changed, do not try to push him by regularly asking if you can meet your old friends (even the &quot;good&quot; ones) again. It might make him discard all your progress up until then as &quot;fake&quot;, aka &quot;faking to get back in good grace&quot;. Yes you might lose some of those friends but as it stands you must realize they can not help you at the moment, maybe when you regain enough privileges (thrust of your father) you can get back in touch but do not drop the friends you made to regain the thrust of your father or you will lose that thrust very soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19292" LastEditorUserId="19292" LastEditDate="2015-10-06T21:57:22.287" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T21:57:22.287" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22414" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22607" CreationDate="2015-10-06T18:33:45.817" Score="3" ViewCount="883" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine is going through a divorce. She and her soon ex husband have two kids (7 and 3 years old) and have arranged everything regarding custody and visitations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other day the older kid was crying in bed and his mom managed to get him to tell her what's wrong. He went to the park with his dad that day and ended up playing soccer with some kids. His dad was telling him he's slow, he's not playing well and how the other kids were better than him, embarrassing him in front of the other kids. The kid was obviously crushed and he begged his mom to take him to soccer practice. She took him last year but this year their schedule is impossible to have her take him (dad wouldn't take him either). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just an incident used to demonstrate the parenting skills (or lack thereof) of the ex husband who was always immature and irresponsible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My friend doesn't badmouth their children's father in front of them and she will try to talk to him to try and change his approach, but nothing will probably change, as this was one of the main reasons for their divorce.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can she minimise the influence of his behaviour towards his kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6420" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:00:23.247" Title="How to minimise the influence of bad parenting by ex husband?" Tags="|divorce|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22416" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-06T18:48:59.077" Score="4" ViewCount="225" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are sleep training our 4 month old twins and my question is when I put them down for a nap and they cry themselves to sleep they then awaken within a half hour, should I continue the sleep training or go and get them from their cribs? They also wake each other up when they cry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19299" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-07T06:19:36.163" LastActivityDate="2015-10-10T03:09:29.900" Title="Is the sleep training over after they sleep for half an hour?" Tags="|infant|sleep|crying|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-06T22:13:57.553" Score="47" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is actually a pretty common problem. Basically, it boils down to you starting to stand on your own but your parents not liking some of the decisions you've made. They feel that you still need their guidance and protection and you feel that you don't. It's a struggle that pretty much everyone goes through at some point. Everyone's situation is different, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, your parents likely want you to prove that you can be a mature and responsible adult. They don't think you're capable of it right now, which is why they're smothering you with all this protection. If you want your freedom without burning any bridges, you need to prove them wrong by showing them that you can be mature and responsible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from the family counselling that others have suggested, the best piece of advice I can give you is to get a job. I know it sounds cliche but I think it's exactly what you need. Not only is a job the kind of responsibility your parents are looking for and the kind of thing that prepares you for the future... yada yada yada... but it also provides you with a place where you can get away from home, make friends your parents might actually let you hang out with and chat/gossip/complain about life with people your own age without your parents around. These are all things that are important to maintain your emotional health and because it's a workplace environment, your parents aren't likely to deny it to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I went with pizza delivery guy when I was in high school. It gave me a valid reason why I needed my driver's license as well as regular driving practice. Between deliveries, I would do dishes and prep work with a couple other kids my age, creating friendships that I wouldn't have otherwise had. In fact, one of them became my roommate after graduation, making it easier for me to get out of my parents' house right after high school. I also lucked out in that my bosses were super nice and acted as sort of stand-in parents. I was able to talk to them about life stuff that I didn't feel comfortable talking to my own parents about and they gave me some pretty sound advice. Not all bosses will be like that but if you can find one who is, I think it would help tremendously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if nothing else, the money you earn can be saved so that you can move out as soon as you graduate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19294" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T22:13:57.553" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-06T23:28:51.783" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;This answer is somewhat in vein of @user1450877, but more specific.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others noted, the main problem is that your parents &lt;strong&gt;don't trust your judgement&lt;/strong&gt;. In a superficial way, it's a situation similar to someone with a poor credit history, and the solution is similar as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, the &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt; way to regain that trust is to tangibly demonstrate a consistent, persistent pattern of changed judgement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The catch-22 is of course that to show judgement on something important, you need to be trusted enough to make an independent choice on that important thing. So, what you do, is you work &lt;strong&gt;with your parents&lt;/strong&gt; to build up to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, have an honest talk to them. Come &lt;strong&gt;prepared&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't accuse them of being wrong or hurting you. That gets you absolutely nowhere.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Acknowledge that the situation you are in is wholly a result of your poor judgement. Prepare a full list of bad decisions you made. In detail. Ideally, if it happened, include things they do NOT know about - it may lose you a couple of points on their anger for earlier lying, BUT long term will win you a lot of points on honesty and openness. For each of the bad decisions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;List the reason you made that decision&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;list the negative consequences of that decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;List BOTH the actual negative consequences that happened ... &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;... AND - importantly - the possible risks that could have arisen but didn't happen (through sheer dumb luck for you, or because the consequences are long-term. &lt;sub&gt;Examples of the latter are health risks from smoking, or risks of being labeled an easy-lay among your peers - which will prevent the kind of guys your parents want you to be with from being interested with you.&lt;/sub&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;List what steps you COULD and/or SHOULD have taken back then to have avoided a bad decision.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As them, for each one, if they agree with everything you said, or have anything to add. ALL of feedback, write it down, do NOT dispute even if you disagree, and think about.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explicitly mention that you have learned from this whole history, grew up mentally and emotionally, and would like a chance to work to regain that trust you lost.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bring and propose &lt;strong&gt;your own&lt;/strong&gt; list of things/steps you think you can do to show them your judgement can be trusted. Deliberately, make it start at low bars (e.g. situations/decisions that - should you err - have less risk or downside). For each one of them, lay out - in the words of bad managers at work - measurable objectives (e.g., what outcomes would show you made the right decision vs. wrong).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This step is very important. As my ex-boss put it once, &lt;strong&gt;don't come to me with the problem. Come to me with the solution&lt;/strong&gt;. Your proposal does not need (and probably won't be) perfect - see the next step. BUT, the fact that you put thought into it is an extra benefit to show both your maturity and your goodwill to work WITH them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;As an added boost, an extra free advice&lt;/strong&gt; - you can use this very site to help you make the list of ideas. Ask a specific question about a specific issue (for example &quot;&lt;em&gt;I have a history of dating bad boys. What can I do to prove to my parents I am able to choose a good boy and reject a bad one according to their preferences&lt;/em&gt;&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask the parents for what in THEIR opinion would be good approaches for what you (you personally and you as a family) can do to help you regain that trust and demonstrate judgement. As with previous feedback, concentrate on writing it down and not arguing about it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also - perhaps at the beginning, or at the end - explain to them the reasons for doing this. Some reasons are more mature than others. Do NOT lie, and list reasons that you find in this answer below, if you don't honestly believe in it. Parents know when their kids BS them (we do, trust me :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To be able to date again? (my honest opinion: the weakest reason. But honest)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To have them be proud of you? (I know it was a big deal to me all my life to have parents proud of me. More motivation than any threat of punishment, since I was young)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;(this one is less obvious but I hope you'll agree it's a good point): You will be an adult soon, and outside their control. For your own benefit, it's a good idea that you learn and train good judgement NOW, while they are around to tutor you. This actually goes as TWO benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For THEM, they would gain ease of mind once you are on your own. This should be a good incentive for them to be welcoming to your attempt to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You get better life outcome, both from training up your judgement, AND from learning how to work in adversarial situation. Trust me, if you pull this off, 99% of difficult situations in work and in life would seem much easier for you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You get a confidence boost, once you succeed. Trust in your own judgement and in your maturity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Second, you compile your ideas AND their feedback from the first talk, and try and negotiate a plan that would satisfy them. Remember, you have much to win if this works - so, try not to let your pride or stubborness lead you to more conflict if you have some disagreements. You CAN honestly negotiate over some issues, if you can explain why a certain point is a bad idea in your mind.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Also, ask them if they would be open to accepting your feedback on what your wishes and goals are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned that you suffer from lack of friends. So specifically, note that, and ask if they would be OK working with you to reach that goal and what they would need to be OK with it. Maybe they would want to pick a friend for you. Maybe just to vet. Maybe control where you are with that friend (up to and including, in the beginning, seeing 100% of correspondence and meeting chaperoned only).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Last, you follow your plan. Step by step. It may take 2 years. Or less.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2015-10-06T23:35:53.777" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T23:35:53.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-06T23:46:14.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm posting this as a second answer, since you seem to have asked 2 questions in one. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/22424/604&quot;&gt;My other answer&lt;/a&gt; deals with answering &quot;how do I improve this situation?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This one answers another one, although it was clarified in comments more than a question: you have a problem with your dad knowing everything you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer to that is, is there a major reason for your dad to be kept in the dark about certain things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it because him knowing some things, he will prohibit them for a good reason? (if so, you shouldn't be doing it).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it because some things simply embarrass you? (if so, you will just have to learn to be embarrassed. It sucks, but you brought that on yourself with past behavior. And trust me, it could be  - and will be - worse. Do you think they would let you have privacy in Juvie? Or when you grow up, at work?)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is it because some things he would prohibit for no good reason? And if you think so, did you ask him what his reason would be?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, the main thing you should get out of this is, that there is a very good reason for him to want to know every detail about you - AND, at the same time, virtually no good reasons for you to want him to NOT know things (unless you omitted some critical information in what you asked).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you accept that, you would eliminate the main problem you have at fixing the situation: the fact that your main goal seems to be a completely useless one, that of keeping things from your father. The goal should be to regain his trust (&quot;how&quot; is covered in my second answer), and to clean up your act and show him you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-10-06T23:46:14.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22416" CreationDate="2015-10-07T01:09:58.780" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will find vastly different opinions on this, but I think four months is awfully young to let kids cry themselves to sleep.  I know it's hard -- it's extremely hard, and with twins it's more than twice as hard.  That said, children that young cannot reason, and although you can condition them in the way you describe, I fear the broader effects will be all negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a father of seven, so believe me when I tell you I know it's a difficult period to endure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't ask, but one thing we've had luck with is laying down with them when they nap.  If they feel, smell, sense the presence of mom or dad, they settle much easier.  Heck, catch a couple of winks while you're at it -- you deserve it.  And once they settle, you can peel yourself away while they continue to nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much easier said than done, and in the interest of full disclosure, I have never had multiples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19146" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T01:09:58.780" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22348" CreationDate="2015-10-07T01:19:40.220" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a huge variance of sleep patterns amongst children, so the sudden waking is not necessarily anything I would consider alarming.  The low amount of time he sleeps, however, is cause for concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I would recommend is to start a food diary (for mom) and start by eliminating dairy, wheat and as much sugar as you can, assuming caffiene is already out of the picture.  Write down what you eat and when, when you nurse, and see if there are any different sleep patterns based on your diet.  If things stabilize, reintroduce the wheat, dairy and/or sugar one at a time to see if there are any changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have seven kids, and we found early on that diet had everything to do with everything...  it still does, in fact, and that doesn't just go for the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19146" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T01:19:40.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-07T09:01:29.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;16 is a difficult time for everybody, and most of the time parents are right and teenagers are wrong. Some parents are overprotecting, but is still love not hate. The problem is that teens only realize and accept that when they are 25+. We grow up with the self centered impression that parents have no idea and they are against us, but, as cold as it may seem, this is only hormones talking. Your parents love you and have MUCH more common sense and life experience so you should listen to them. You will probably won't but this is how life goes. Still you don't want war with your parents that raised you so far, and you will only know later how difficult it was for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my advices are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;accept and live with the situation, and think that maybe they are right&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;OR still accept the situation for a while until you can become independent and do whatever you like&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19311" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T09:01:29.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22400" CreationDate="2015-10-07T15:24:14.903" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's possible that she associated the vacation with some traumatic event associated with her mother. She might have remembered or seen something that triggered this behavior.&#xA;You need to be friend with her again. Make her feel special, don't forget to kiss her and hug her everyday, even if she doesn't wants (but don't let her see anger in you if she reacts bad) and tell her how special she is even if she doesn't cares. Eventually she will like you again. Do some activities together. Don't forget your other sons, do the same for everyone as much as possible.&#xA;When you are close to her again, try to talk with her and understand what she is going through. She is growing she might be seeing things in a different way now, compared to when she was younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19293" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T15:24:14.903" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-07T15:35:31.243" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a teenager, my parents had one unbreakable rule.  At any given time they had to know where I was, who I was with, and when I would be home.  If any of those things changed, I had to call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seemed unfair to me until my parents pointed out they voluntarily do this for each other.  It's a natural part of engendering trust, and if anything should happen and I didn't come home, it gives them a starting place to search.  After that, I happily complied.  It seemed like a small sacrifice for the amount of freedom and trust it gave me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sisters rebelled against that rule and were never trusted.  They asked me how I &quot;got away with so much&quot; and all I could tell them was I called when I was supposed to call.  It was so simple they didn't believe me.  Far from being controlled, I was making my own decisions, just telling my parents what those decisions were once or twice an evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice to you if you want to be trusted is to &lt;strong&gt;volunteer information&lt;/strong&gt;.  When you make a new friend, tell your parents before they have to ask.  If you get a bad grade, tell them about it before they hear about it from the teacher.  If something good happens, tell them about it before they hear from another source.  If your parents don't trust you go out, invite a friend to your house when your parents are there.  Don't act like you're trying to hide something, and soon enough your parents will believe it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T15:35:31.243" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-07T16:36:22.827" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You cannot get out - but you can still access the internet. Problem with internet is that it is not easy to find out who is real friend and who is con. Aim for communities where members are graded by some kind of &quot;karma&quot; like on this forum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend to look at free online course &quot;science of happiness&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://courses.edx.org/courses/course-v1:BerkeleyX+GG101x+3T2015/info&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://courses.edx.org/courses/course-v1:BerkeleyX+GG101x+3T2015/info&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It could be deep link (I am logged in to the course), so you can find it by going to edx.org, then searching for &quot;happiness&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;edX.org - which is non-profit (free) online university started by MIT and Harvard, now hosting online classes for many other universities. This one is from Berkeley Uni.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will learn short mind exercises to improve your happiness, and you can join online communities of people from the course who are learning how the happiness work. You will learn how different relationships between parent and child work, and much more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get job as @aleppke suggested, get it. Likely, your parents will be against (because your father will lose some control over your life he craves). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you cannot get a job, try to get seriously into any fitness program or a sport, whichever your parents approve. Physical exercise makes us humans happy (&quot;runner's high&quot; was  important evolutionary advantage for stone age hunters). Use it for your benefit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Study as much as you can. Good grades will allow you to go to the college, bad grades will prevent you to gain such freedom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2 years seems like a long time but in reality it is not. Just hundred weeks. Life will get better soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17335" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T16:36:22.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22436" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-07T20:01:54.557" Score="11" ViewCount="2130" Body="&lt;p&gt;About a year and a half ago I met a woman who was going to school full-time and raising a 5 year old little girl. I really just fell in love with both of them and we all bonded relatively quickly. We spent a lot of time together going on outings and enjoying life together. After about 6 months we began to consider moving in together. We both recognized that things were moving fast, but it felt right and circumstances aligned such that it seemed to make sense. We found a new place and moved in together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been living together for about 8 months. I have committed myself to being a good Parent and partner, and they are both a huge priority in my life. I really want our new family to be happy and to thrive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fist month of co-habitation was a little rocky, but we got through it relatively easily. The next couple of months were actually pretty great (in hindsight). However, over the past few months, while my girlfriend and I have grown closer and more connected to one another, my relationship with her daughter has become somewhat un-stable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has frequent meltdowns that culminate in her breaking things, stomping around the apartment (wood floors), banging on doors so loudly that the neighbors have complained, screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing things at us and our dog and trying to hit and kick us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These episodes can last for 30 minutes sometimes and usually happen as a result of either her mom or I asking her to help out with something such as cleaning her room or saying that she can't do or have something that she wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early on, I tended to not get too involved in these situations. I would let her mom handle it, simply because I wanted to focus on building trust and a stronger bond before becoming an authority figure. Her mom does tend to get a little wrapped up in the drama and she is working towards handling these situations with more patience and thoughtfulness. That said, I always support what her mom says and back her up 100%. We are working together on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More recently, I have stepped in and have begun to handle more of these situations. Sometimes I'm able to get in front of a meltdown to divert it and other times she seems entirely bent on causing havoc. I never raise my voice or treat her un-fairly. I stick to the original point and focus only on the fact that I am simply asking her to do something or I'll explain why she isn't allowed to do something. That has been my approach thus far. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she get physical with me, starts pushing furniture around, knocking things over or throwing objects I will tell her to stop and go to her bed to relax. This typically only enrages her further or causes her to out and out mock me. We just can't have a child breaking a bunch stuff in the house, so if she doesn't listen I will pick her up and move her to the bed and tell her that she needs to stay there until she is calm. It is then that she will kick, scratch and hit. Once on her bed, she will jump off it and run around screaming in a piercing tone. It is unbelievably loud! I know my neighbors can here it and one of them has complained about the noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will admit, I am getting frustrated by this. I want to have a calm, loving house and this little girl seems to want the exact opposite (though I know that she really wants love and attention). I spend a lot of time with her doing art projects, playing in the park and building things (she wants to be an engineer, which I'm really excited about). We can have stretches of days that are really enjoyable for all of us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, she has never met her bio-dad. The only male role models she has had in her life have been her grandfather who only recently moved to the U.S., a previous boyfriend of her mom's and an uncle or two that she sees periodically. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did try some family counseling but the emphasis was on play, which didn't seem to address the behavioral aspects. I am completely open to other types of counseling though. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My questions are: &#xA;What can I do to get this child to treat me with the same respect that I show her, to listen well and to help out? Where should I focus my efforts in terms of bonding, direction and discipline? What kinds of counseling would be most effective in this case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19318" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-09T07:52:30.983" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T20:06:42.483" Title="As a step parent, what should be my role in dealing with a volatile five year old?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|step-parents|emotional-well-being|anger|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22436" CreationDate="2015-10-07T21:25:07.937" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a pretty common power struggle for her age and situation.  The main principle about ending a tantrum is if you want it to stop, there has to be a consequence for the tantrum itself.  If you want it to stop rapidly, the consequence has to be rapid.  Something like counting to three then taking a toy away, then counting to three and taking another away, until she stops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that sounds more adversarial than you prefer, and you look around at other fathers who can just ask their kids nicely and they will obey, and they might have to add a stern look every once in a while.  Or their kid calmly brings up a legitimate objection, which the father takes into account in a cooperative manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not because we didn't have to do the power struggle thing, but because we resolved it long ago and moved past it (for the most part).  Then sometimes new variables enter the picture and you have to do it again.  But mostly, if you stick to your guns for a month or two, you can go back to being mister nice guy again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-10-07T21:25:07.937" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22438" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-08T00:22:21.523" Score="1" ViewCount="1399" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old daughter could use some help developing her ability to wait or be patient.  Understanding that most of us, and especially children, could use help with that, she does need some help beyond her peers.  In fact, it's enough so that her first grade teacher asked to have a meeting about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is almost always great and wants to please, so I just want to help her let that part shine through more often.  She often struggles with raising her hand and waiting her turn in class.  At home, she struggles to wait for her turn to talk, resulting in interrupting others (usually my wife and myself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, all of this gets magnified when she's tired, so we will often have a sense that it could be a rough day when she's heading off to school (though she's working at it and getting a bit better).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, she is pretty self aware of this.  Her teachers had picked a couple of things with her for her to work on, and she is responsible each day for giving herself a grade.  Currently, her tasks are raising her hands and being respectful.  Each day she talks with the teachers about her rating for those things, and they have commented that she pretty much always picks the same grade they would have given her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I take from all this, that she is generally a really good kid who wants to be a good one, but who doesn't posses the skills to handle herself when things start going bad.  I think patience and being willing and able to wait her turn are the main things that will help her (as do her teachers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do our best to recognize when she does well and comment on it to her.  When she interrupts we point out that she has to wait her turn.  We had also started letting her earn a sticker for each &quot;good&quot; day at school, and had been talking with her about letting her buy things she wants with (like having a &quot;downstairs campout&quot;) after she gets enough stickers.  (Her teachers didn't seem to like that idea as much, seemingly thinking it separates the reward too far from the act--though I think I disagree with that since she loves getting the sticker itself each day as well.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there other things we can do to help her develop those skills?  Are there good games we could play or activities that will help?  Aside from attempting to be patient and show ourselves to be waiting for things we want to model the desired behavior, are there other things my wife and I can do to help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastEditorUserId="14732" LastEditDate="2015-10-08T02:58:48.823" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T07:02:12.123" Title="How can I help my 6 year old learn patience" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22439" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15040" CreationDate="2015-10-08T00:59:37.733" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;From personal experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When babies continue to root and sort of whip their head around, it tends to be because they are searching for the nipple. When they delatch and bob head and root again, this is all because they are seeking comfort, but not the normal comfort you are thinking of. I liken it to when we go to the medicine cabinet for relief. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a baby displays this behavior it can mean that they are in pain. Don't freak out, not serious pain, but more of a discomfort. Usually because they have air in their gut, either in the stomach or the bowels. They do that because that's all they know. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Burp them or try a right angle body shape position to get rid of gas or poop. Also if that doesn't help, then I would try laying baby on your ribcage area on their stomach then, after baby is comfy, slowly flex and even roll your stomach muscles slightly. This will apply some pressure to the problem spot or spots of your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19321" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-04-18T23:42:13.610" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:42:13.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2015-10-08T01:11:46.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with all of the following. However I am experiencing the issues with my 3 year old. Nothing seemed to work until we started sitting with her for a consistent amount of time and setting the timer on the stove. When the alarm goes off she knows we are done and goes to sleep no problems. Using a timer can help take the pressure off you and help give her structure. Eventually we tapered our time down to nothing. She did pretty well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19322" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T01:11:46.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22441" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22442" CreationDate="2015-10-08T05:40:17.917" Score="12" ViewCount="4546" Body="&lt;p&gt;The baby is 2 years 3 months old. She is utterly interested in drawing. She has now been put in a playschool where I was told that she will be given homework regarding colouring pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have noticed that the colouring books meant for small children contain giant drawings. Most of them have big square, cirle, and other shapes etc. Other do have some animals but they are also very big.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My opinion is that if someone asks me to colour a big rectangle, I won't be interested because:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is very big so it will take a long time to colour it.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is does not represent anything so it is not interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now considering the above logic, I have brought the colouring books meant for bigger children for my toddler. These books have smaller pictures of animals, birds, and people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I show the parts of body of animals, birds, and people to the child and then ask her to colour the specific part. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She seems to enjoy this. She enjoys colouring horns, eyes, feet, hands, ears. The problem starts when I ask her to colour the torso. She loses interest. I can guess that the reason is that the torso is big whether it is of an animal or a human. It is big.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried the following to encourage her:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I have given her oil pastels instead of wax crayons because of the smoothness and bright shades they have. She loves them.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I tell her that I will colour x part of the body, and then ask her which part would you colour? She responds happily to this too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But these steps do not work when colouring the torso. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Also, according to the second point listed above, I colour half of the sketch and she colours the other half.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, she hasn't been given any homework but when she does get the homework &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I am not sure if the second step I follow will be considered cheating(?)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; I am also not sure if this is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;proper&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; way to encourage her!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Also, her school books have big rectangles to colour. I don't know how to force her to colour that giant rectangle, and animals which have giant torsos&lt;/strong&gt;, when I myself think that colouring that giant rectangle/area is wastage of time. I never do it myself even though I am very much interested in Arts!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to encourage a 2 year old toddler to complete colouring a sketch?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T09:38:36.627" Title="How to encourage a 2 year old toddler to complete colouring a sketch?" Tags="|toddler|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22441" CreationDate="2015-10-08T06:35:51.563" Score="44" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that a toddler is way too young for mandatory homework, so the first thing is not to worry about getting it done or doing it &quot;right&quot;. It turns something that should be a pleasure into a chore, and will guarantee that she won't want anything to do with art in later years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think you should treat this &quot;homework&quot; as a fun optional extra. Doing it together as you have been doing is a great idea. Don't worry about &quot;cheating&quot;. The objective is to get her to practise skills, not to get 10/10 in the test. And if she gets tired of it half way through, let it go. Don't sweat it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T06:35:51.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22438" CreationDate="2015-10-08T06:52:57.300" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've often wondered if the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Stanford Marshmallow Test&lt;/a&gt; might be a teachable exercise in self-control: make it a game, and see if she can learn to resist the temptation of the first marshmallow (or whatever treat) in anticipation of a second.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T06:52:57.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22438" CreationDate="2015-10-08T07:02:12.123" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;For our daughter, we started by having her be aware of others in conversation.  We did this by requiring that if mom or dad are talking and she wants to talk to us, she has to place her hand on our forearm and wait for acknowledgement.  The reason is that it requires her to approach us, and it requires her to interact with us silently, and finally it allows us to show her that we'll respect her and not leave her for very long before we inturrupt our conversation momentarily for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing we do is when the answer to a request of hers is going to be a yes, if it isn't urgent, we say &quot;yes, but can you wait a moment and I'll get it for you&quot;.  Of course we forget sometimes and she comes back wondering where we are with her &quot;yes&quot;... but it also sets up a framework of respect of our time relative to her needs.  It also gives her a chance to learn her own time-relative needs and could really just say &quot;no, I really need it now, if you could, please&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, another thing we do, and see our kids reflect it, is take time to share with each other in receiving &quot;here, can you bring this to your brother while I get yours&quot;... and it helps develop relativity between all members of the environment.  Our little guy won't walk away with his own sippy cup already in hand until his sister's is ready and he can take it to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lack of patience is a symptom, not an issue.  It is almost always due to passion and excitement from children.  The passion and excitement shouldn't ever be thwarted.  The real issue to watch out for is lack of respect of others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It all depends on the kids emotional disposition and personality, but if respect is lacking, other means won't bare fruit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16091" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T07:02:12.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22441" CreationDate="2015-10-08T07:11:26.053" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your child is possibly above average in this particular area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give her opportunity to explore drawing from blank pages to tracing leaves in autumn... but don't require results, there is no grade or value in evaluation at this age.  Especially since she might loath drawing by the age of 4 and be into climbing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So to answer your question, the best way to encourage them to complete a colouring sketch: don't, let them find their own encouragement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if the &quot;teacher&quot; is using a rubric-based curriculum for some crazy reason, show them your daughter's &quot;preferred artwork&quot; efforts as exemplary results of the desired achievement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16091" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T07:11:26.053" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22446" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22448" CreationDate="2015-10-08T08:40:59.487" Score="4" ViewCount="2089" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritarian-parenting.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritarian-parenting.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been raised by authoritarian parents. I have both low self esteem as well as a lack of self discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I want to understand the relation between the two&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Why&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; does authoritarian parenting style result in children with low self esteem and lack of self discipline?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-10-08T08:59:31.173" LastActivityDate="2019-10-02T18:01:34.313" Title="Why does authoritarian parenting style result in children with low self esteem and lack of self discipline?" Tags="|discipline|parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22446" CreationDate="2015-10-08T09:03:53.790" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not a full answer with citable things, but it is too long for a comment, so here is half an answer:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going from the signs of authoritarian parents from your source:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have strict rules and expectations: Strict rules mean: no own decision-making. Strict expectations means a lot of feedback on mistakes made, and therefore to focusing on those. Also, the parents set the rules, so, how are you supposed to learn how to make your own?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Very demanding, but not responsive: The child works a LOT to meet the expectations, but will fail occasionally. Again, failure is the focus, and almost no support is given for dealing with the bad feelings coming from this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't express much warmth or nurturing: The parents seem distant and uncaring to the child. And when even the parents don't seem to care, how will &lt;em&gt;anyone&lt;/em&gt; ever care for you? If even your parents don't care about your feelings, why should you?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Utilize punishments with little or no explanation: The child is punished totally randomly, from the child's perspective. So, the child learns that the most important person in their life will randomly lash out at them. Also, the child has no chance to understand what it did wrong. How is a child to learn what a right decision is, and ever have any confidence in choices made?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't give children choices or options: You only get good at making decisions by practising. By getting better, you gain confidence to make them. If you never get to make any as a child, when will you learn?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: when your parents make all the decisions for you, how are you supposed to have confidence in YOURS? You never made any! If your parents never taught you that mistakes and failures happen, how are you supposed to learn &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt;, and, more importantly, how to a) deal with them properly and then b) move on, possibly hurt, but a bit wiser, and warned for the next time you encounter something similar?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning those skills when a wrong decision does not mean &quot;I will walks home in wet clothes&quot; but &quot;I will loose my job&quot;? Of course it will make the world a frightening place... one through which you cannot travel sure of yourself!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And self-discipline? You never disciplined yourself before, your parents did. Again.. no practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is my take on this, at least, hope it helps :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My view on low self-esteem:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It is hard to get a good self-esteem if you mostly hear that you did something wrong, that what you did was not good enough, that you should do more, which is something authoritarian parents tend to do. Learning to see value in what you did, even if it is NOT perfect (That table does not look perfect, but I built it MYSELF, for example) is something you start learning as a child, as well.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When you start learning an instrument, you will start out sounding terrible. But you get better... that is AMAZING, and WONDERFUL. Unless, of course, you are only told &quot;You STILL get the last bit wrong!&quot;. Then, you don't get to feel great about the thing you did... only bad about the thing you did NOT.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Self-esteem comes, at least in big parts, from knowing you are &lt;em&gt;good enough&lt;/em&gt; even when you are not perfect. From knowing you do not &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to be perfect. You got better... so you feel good. You are not getting better any more? Well, that's ok, we all have a limit. And look: you started out with zero skill. Now you have some!  It is THAT kind of thinking that was not learned in childhood... and now needs to be found, to get the self-esteem up. And that, again, is hard, if all you learned was the opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-10-11T08:11:13.880" LastActivityDate="2015-10-11T08:11:13.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22451" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-08T10:13:28.920" Score="1" ViewCount="518" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I (both 38 years old) have been married for 8 years now and we have 3 amazing kids (all under the age of 8). We really could not ask for more. Like any couple, we have gone through our ups and downs throughout our marriage. We made a point to see a counselor through our ups and downs just so that we have someone to talk to (like a 3rd party). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of children, our original plan was to have back-to-back kids which I must admit was tough at first but we managed to work things out over the years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About 4 years ago, my wife shared with me her dream of having a 3rd child. It took me a long time to come around and agree to this. We talked, argued, went to see a counselor. After some soul searching, I decided to compromise and decided to say yes to baby number 3. Part of the agreement was to stop after our 3rd and for me to get a vasectomy. Naturally she was ecstatic and promised me the world! Once our 3rd was about 6 months old, with the consent of the wife and as agreed, I went ahead to get the vasectomy. Fast forward to 3 years later, we have an amazing family and no regrets about having a 3rd. She is an amazing little girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently my wife shared with me her dream / desire to have a 4th. She asked me if I could make the ultimate sacrifice to reverse the vasectomy, try for a baby and get a vasectomy again. I have been going back and forth for over a month now with my wife about this. Clearly we have different views on this matter and I frankly feel trapped. Unless I say yes (she refers to as having an open mind and trying), there is no way out of this difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She continues to tell me this is her dream and I am the roadblock to that. She is disappointed in me that I am not even trying. Personally, I feel that I compromised with having a third child and now she is moving the goal post on me. Everything she is promising and telling me now is a recurring pattern from the time we were discussing about having our 3rd child. She is asking me to make the ultimate sacrifice, again she said the same thing the last time around. How do I know this will not stop after the 4th? She keeps making me all these promises which I have heard before. I went from the guy that made the ultimate sacrifice with having our 3rd (top of the mountain) to the negative/no-can-do person blocking her dream and that I do not love her enough to pursue this dream (I am at the bottom of the mountain all of sudden... How can this be?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am feeling very frustrated with the situation. All I want is my wife, back on the path we were on and enjoy the family/life we have now. Also to continue to work on our marriage and deal with all the ups/down coming our way raising our amazing three children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Up to this point, I have listened to her, we exchanged views many times and we even went to see the doctor to inquire about the reversal of the vasectomy. The bottom line is, I do not want another child, which I have made clear to my wife. I would like her to honor her word/promise to stop after our 3rd child and I feel that it is her turn to compromise and make the sacrifice just like I had to dig deep to come around to change my mind 4 years ago. I understand she is not feeling this way on purpose and I would like to support her 100% to overcome this together. At this point, we are both just hitting a brick wall and I am so lost, not knowing what to do. I am getting the silent treatment now and she is really upset with me. I just don’t understand why I am in this position? Doesn’t her word/promise from 4 years ago mean anything anymore? I have shared with her my reasons for not wanting another child and reminded her about what we agreed on. She seems to think people are entitled to change their mind and I am fine with that. It just baffles me that she can be so casual about going back on her word and I’m all of a sudden the bad guy. At the same time, I think we need to address this void she feels. Clearly, if we were to have a 4th child, this desire of wanting another baby will not go away. Everything I’ve said to her makes logical sense to me but she just doesn’t seem to see my point of view. Or perhaps she is simply blinded by wanting another baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice or insight on this would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19325" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-31T13:08:24.953" LastActivityDate="2018-08-31T13:08:24.953" Title="I got a vasectomy after our 3rd child. Now, my wife wants a 4th child, but I don't" Tags="|parents|conflict|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="8" ClosedDate="2015-10-08T10:25:26.453" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-08T11:47:09.647" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This situation is, at least as you've described it without knowing more details, unfair to you (as you imply but don't directly state). However, many &lt;em&gt;many&lt;/em&gt; things that will happen to you in your life will be unfair. Perhaps even grossly so. One thing to remember is that its up to you how to deal with it: its only wasted time if you fail to make the best of it. You could use the time to learn a subject very deeply, become super-fit, practice a sport, etc. It may not be what you want to do (and was not what I chose to do at 16), but sometimes you do the best you can with the cards you're dealt. Think about it this way: what if you'd grown up in a war zone? Unable to meet with friends because of the physical risk of being shot/blown up? How would you deal with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the answers that tell you to hang in there because it will be over in 2 years, I can totally see how that would be less than satisfying: at 16 you don't have the same view of time as a 35 year old. Although it will certainly end and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, its a ways off yet (from your current perspective, you'll barely remember it in 10 years). So I recommend focusing on what you can do &lt;em&gt;right now&lt;/em&gt; to make the best of an unfortunate situation. Books can serve in lieu of friends for a time, at least a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the best pieces of advice I ever received is that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Your parents have at least a subconscious understanding of that and don't trust you to pick those 5 people well (and maybe they shouldn't). They seem to be overreacting, but there's another important point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a long time, I was decidedly an under-achiever in just about every possible respect. One thing I noticed as I became successful in life (by just about any measure of success) is that my family's opinion of me was very much a trailing indicator: after years of being, frankly, a bit of a loser, it took a few years of steady successes before I started getting any real credit. And you know what? I don't think they were wrong to doubt at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you've cleaned up your life and are now making better choices, you need to be patient: it may take a couple of years (yes years) for the people who cared about you and watched you make bad choices to really start to believe the change. Its not hopeless at all. But always remember: make those better choices &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; they're better choices. Making them because you're seeking external validation takes too long to pay off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I may have painted it as being too black-and-white, one thing to try also would be saying &quot;Hey Mom and Dad, I've got a wicked case of cabin fever, but I understand if you don't want to just turn me loose on the town for whatever. Is there something &lt;em&gt;constructive&lt;/em&gt; I could do so I don't loose my mind? Like try out for a play/sports team/take up ballet/whatever?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I bet they'll be receptive if you sell it right, especially if they have some say in what you end up doing. And it may be good for you to have a constructive pastime as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastEditorUserId="12008" LastEditDate="2015-10-08T13:06:15.417" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T13:06:15.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22453" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22446" CreationDate="2015-10-08T13:12:24.247" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;there. &#xA;As you know, authoritarian parents expects unconditional obedience from their children. Everything a child do, must be dictated or at least approved by parents.&#xA;This is the main factor that causes lack of discipline and low self esteem in adult life. And why is it that way? Because having very clear borders set from the top authority deprives a child from making their own decisions. If there always were someone who told you what is wrong and what is right, it is very hard to become an independent and disciplined adult because of lack of external opinion of what you should do and what is the best to do at this moment.&#xA;People raised by authoritarian parents are constantly hesitating in everyday decisions. I am one of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17856" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T13:12:24.247" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22399" CreationDate="2015-10-08T16:32:04.270" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've always tought that time outs are good solutions, if only not used too often. Recently I've read a great article wchich stated that classical time outs are causing children to belive that we love them only for being well behaved. In other words, time out is functioning as taking away your attention from a child in situation when it needs it the most (it's not about rewarding bad behaviour, but for being understanding and very, very patient in explenations). &#xA;The author of the aeticle stated, that by giving the most of our attention to children only when they behave as we want them to can result in teenagers who wouldn't come to us with their prpblems and won't be asking for our advice when they occasionaly make something stupid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17856" LastEditorUserId="17856" LastEditDate="2015-10-08T18:09:28.907" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T18:09:28.907" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22441" CreationDate="2015-10-08T17:08:06.767" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the issue is one of interest, make the torso interesting, and at the same time encourage her to modify the drawings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;I wonder.  If this dinosaur had a shirt, what kind of shirt would it be?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe add stripes, or circles, squares, and rectangles to the &quot;shirt&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T17:08:06.767" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22441" CreationDate="2015-10-08T17:48:28.070" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;To piggyback on @Adam_Davis ' answer: You can have your daughter employ a strategy called &quot;divide and conquer&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem, &quot;Large volume of empty space to color&quot;, can be separated into numerous smaller areas. Giving torso'ed character t-shirts and other clothing items is a good way to do this. Another could be to simply draw within drawings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the space is divided enjoyably, it should be far easier to color the remainder of the picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to keep in mind, in no application I know of will there be a need to do a total 100% fill. Intentful use of whitespace is a hallmark of professional design, and your daughter would do well to practice it now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11267" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T17:48:28.070" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22441" CreationDate="2015-10-08T18:09:36.593" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I would do is give her abundant colors and papers with and without outlines to draw on, and let (and encourage, and support) her to do the things she naturally wants to do. Allow genius to follow its own path. Forcing and requiring things, and even giving too strong an approval message, gets a child to react to your interference. Genius blossoms when it grows freely and naturally in rich and varied soil provided abundantly and unconditionally by you. Protect her from outside demands from foolish preschool teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9899" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T18:09:36.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22460" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22469" CreationDate="2015-10-08T20:45:50.097" Score="0" ViewCount="104" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am interested in a large scale Halloween Activity primarily young adults, I wanted to show some Halloween spirit so I picked the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to have the movie playing, but I also want to have side activities going on is there any other suggestion for activities that I can come up with that would celebrate Halloween that I can do while this movie is playing  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19335" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T02:33:55.510" Title="Halloween Themed Activity" Tags="|teen|party|programming|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2015-10-29T04:55:29.910" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="749" CreationDate="2015-10-08T20:56:26.310" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went to an all-boys elementary school and a mixed high school, so I have very personal experience with both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO, the main downside of an all-boys school is that it makes you unfamiliar with the ways of the female gender. If you're a male geek (like myself), going to an all-boys school doesn't exactly help make you feel less socially awkard among girls... quite the contrary!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, being in the same class with peers of the opposite gender can be very distracting, especially during puberty. Also, boys and girls tend to learn very differently and mature at a different rate. This can complicate matters significantly when putting boys and girls in the same class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what is better? If your kid has siblings of the opposite gender and feels comfortable around peers of the opposite gender, I would recommend same-gender classroom. However, if your kid has no siblings of the opposite gender and/or is known to feel uncomfortable around peers of the opposite gender, it may be better to send him/her to a mixed classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, I don't believe there's a &quot;one-size-fits-all&quot; solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19336" LastEditorUserId="19336" LastEditDate="2015-10-08T21:04:06.810" LastActivityDate="2015-10-08T21:04:06.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22462" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22473" CreationDate="2015-10-08T21:23:15.103" Score="10" ViewCount="2303" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would you take a 3 and a half year old girl to the funeral of her great-granddad?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She knows about death and heaven...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Death belongs to life, right? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I don't want to overstrain her... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I would like to share my experience with you after everything has happened:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day before the funeral I took her and explained very clearly what we are going to do, why and what will happen. Children have a very clear language. So I explained that he died, that means we will never be able to visit him, talk to him again or even see him anymore. We were going to say goodbye to him. He will be inside of a box that is going to be put under the earth. People are going to be very sad for a while. She accepted all of this easily. So I was not absolutely sure about the grade of understanding, but since I know her and she is pretty smart, I was sure there should not be anymore suprises for her in what is going to happen. So we took her with us. Inside of the church she was pretty calm and curious. Never frightened or something. Sometimes a bit simpering. Lateron during the funeral the same. She dropped some flowers into the grave and said bye. That's it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sure her presence was helpful for some of the relatives although I cared that she was not instrumented for anyone to feel better at any time. She decided herself who to talk to and where to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lateron she explained her little sister that gran-grandad has &quot;decended in a box and is now gone&quot;. That's it. Maybe she will remember this experience in future, maybe not, but I am very sure she will defenitely not remember it as something very scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The benefit is that she was a part of the process and I am sure she will never wonder where he is and why he is not there anymore because she simply knows what happened and was a part of the process to say goodbye. I am happy about the decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your attention and suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19337" LastEditorUserId="19337" LastEditDate="2015-10-13T10:05:11.417" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T10:05:11.417" Title="Take a 3 year old to funeral?" Tags="|pre-schooler|emotional-well-being|death|maturity|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22468" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22478" CreationDate="2015-10-08T23:56:21.393" Score="1" ViewCount="151" Body="&lt;p&gt;Several months ago we started watching English video lessons on YouTube. My 1-year-old son was trying to push keys on the keyboard, not concentrating his attention on the video.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to save in his early memory English words by fixating them with video shows and cartoons. I don't know whether it is OK to demonstrate with a computer to such small children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are effective methods to fixate words and phrases in the memory of a very small child? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I know, his vision is limited. Is it OK to show him videos from YouTube?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16166" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-31T13:38:51.293" LastActivityDate="2019-03-31T13:38:51.293" Title="How to help a 1-year-old learn words and phrases of a foreign language?" Tags="|infant|language|media|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22460" CreationDate="2015-10-09T02:33:55.510" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Traditional Halloween and harvest games&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bobbing for apples&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Donut on a string eating contest.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pumpkin carving ( here is a template &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.zombiepumpkins.com/dr-frank-n-furter-pumpkin-pattern/254/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.zombiepumpkins.com/dr-frank-n-furter-pumpkin-pattern/254/&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Halloween Craft Project&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Activities related to the movie&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rocky Horror Picture Show Trivia &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Costume Contest (could be a bad idea depending on the group)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pause the move and have the kids guess the next word &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Winner gets candy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T02:33:55.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22125" CreationDate="2015-10-09T03:56:25.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, you're not alone. I am terrible at staying on schedule. My advice: make a chart. Make a list of all the things you need to do or have done and when. You get some poster board or a dry erase board and mapit all out. At first when you start it, warning, you will be tired. Everything will fall into place and soon it will feel natural. Reward yourself for following the chart. Relish in even the smallest of victories. Also, relax, don't stress too much. Also give rewards to everyone in your home that follows the schedule chart now that previously didn't. It will help them grow. (emotionally, confidence, self esteem, etc.) Have fun and don't dwell on the little things. I can't really help with the other stuff because I don't have enough information on the situation. Keep your head up.&#xA; Joni&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19321" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T03:56:25.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22462" CreationDate="2015-10-09T10:00:40.837" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This actually depends entirely on your culture, and your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In many cultures, kids are kept very segregated from the deceased. In others, they may be a core part of the family group at an open casket wake. And in others, they may help care for the body as it lies in rest prior to being buried etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have taken my kids to funerals of their great-grandparents, as I see it as a useful part of grieving and closure, but this may be entirely different to your experience. It helped them understand, in a way that pets dying hadn't really prepared them for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really don't think you should bring a child to &quot;help other grieving attendees&quot; though. They should be there for their own closure and grieving, not as a tool to help others!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T10:00:40.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22462" CreationDate="2015-10-09T10:11:23.897" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a funeral, basically the same rules as for other social events apply. So answer the following questions and decide accordingly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Can the child do what is expected of him?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Would the child be able to behave in a way that would be considered appropriate or would the situation demand some action (or non-action) from the child that would be too much, e.g. sitting quietly for a long time or refraining from running around.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Would the presence of the child disrupt the event?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Is the child likely to be a distraction for other participants, cause too much commotion or misbehave beyond an acceptable degree? Or would other relatives find her presence comforting?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Would the presence of the child be good for you as a parent?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;In this special case: is the child's presence something that gives you strengt and joy and reminds you of the continuity of your family line even at a time of loss, or would it be a stress factor, distract you from grieving and just be too much for you at that moment?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know the inner dynamics of your family, your state of mind, the tone of the upcoming event and your child much better that we do. So decide for yourself. (Don't forget the books, toys etc. to keep her from being bored if you take her.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you take her, talk about what's happening, comfort her and be prepared to answer her questions. In my opinion and experience there is nothing about death that a child can't handle if explained properly and in an age-appropriate way. As you said yourself - death is part of life. You might have to explain why you or other family members are crying, why the body / the casket is here when you told her that Granddad is in heaven etc., but I think you can handle it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But please, don't go the &quot;Granddad is sleeping&quot; route - it is deeply disturbing for a child to see a casket with the &quot;sleeping&quot; family member being interred&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;. You might also want to mention that Graddad was &lt;em&gt;really, really old&lt;/em&gt; in case she asks whether &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are about to die. (Suggested answer: &quot;When people have lived a long life and are very old, they are ready to die because they are done with living.&quot; - that's how my then 5yo put it once.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; I witnessed someone do this once when I was a child myself and still remember the other child's confusion and fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-10-09T10:22:03.993" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T10:22:03.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22475" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22477" CreationDate="2015-10-09T14:04:29.700" Score="24" ViewCount="2221" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's just started school, and it seems to be exceptionally difficult to get him to talk about what he did during the day. The responses are generally, &quot;I don't know&quot;, or &quot;I can't remember&quot;. Sometimes we have success engaging with him, but there doesn't seem to be much of a pattern to it. This seems to be not uncommon: teachers have told parents it is completely normal for children to do this, and other parents I know all tell similar stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just to be clear, I'm not terribly concerned about it, I'm just naturally curious as to why this is considered common/normal (as in, is there an underlying reason for it), and what techniques are there to encourage children to reveal more about their day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7452" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-09T14:35:20.887" LastActivityDate="2015-10-10T20:40:24.480" Title="How can a parent encourage their child to talk more about what they did at school?" Tags="|primary-schooler|communication|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22475" CreationDate="2015-10-09T14:30:22.727" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things that worked for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give the child a little time to relax after school, get a snack, etc.  They may be more willing to talk after some down time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask specific questions.  For example, instead of &quot;What did you do today?&quot;, which has a long list of items to recite, try something like &quot;What was the best thing that happened today?&quot;  Still requires more than yes/no for an answer, but has one specific answer that could lead to more.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make this a practice for everyone in the family.  In our family, everyone (including parents) talks about how their day went, or something exciting that happened, over the dinner table.  That gives the child a role model for sharing, and changes it from an interrogation to a conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T14:30:22.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22475" CreationDate="2015-10-09T14:45:33.917" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yeah, normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things that work in our family:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Appreciate that they're tired straight after school and might need some quiet time and space.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask them specific questions about things that you already know a bit about, e.g. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;What did Ms Smith think of your cat drawing?&quot; (instead of &quot;What did your teacher tell you today?&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Did you play with Johnny today?&quot; (instead of &quot;Who did you play with today?&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Oh it's a Friday, so did you have fishfingers for lunch today?&quot; (instead of &quot;What was for lunch today?&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This shows that you listened to them last time they told you about stuff, and it shows more specific (and therefore more believable) interest than a blanket &quot;how was your day?&quot;, which can seem perfunctory, and so gets a perfunctory answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they'd like to hear about it, tell them about your own day. When my kids are tired, sometimes they'd rather hear my voice, even if it's something they don't really know about or don't understand, then go to the effort of answering detailed questions about their own doings. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're pretty interested in the adult world - and I'm trying to provide them with an example for them to copy of how to talk about the things that happen in our lives.... which things are considered important, things that I enjoyed and things that I had trouble with, and how I dealt with problems (if I did) and what I'd do differently next time. I feel that if I tell them about that kind of thing in relation to my life, then they'll be more willing to tell me about that kind of thing in relation to their life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes we end up trading information: I tell them what &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; had for lunch and they immediately pipe up wanting to tell me what &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; had for lunch; I tell them about the best/worst thing that happened in my day and they immediately want me to know the best/worst thing that happened in &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; day. So I'm not actually asking any questions at all - this can work quite well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;I don't want to tell you&quot; is an ok reply. If they're just tired and they don't want to talk, then fair enough. If something happened that upset them and they don't want to relive those feelings by talking about it, then they get a hug anyway and we talk about it another time when they're feeling better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might find the classic book &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fabermazlish.com/pub_viewer.php?How-to-Talk-So-Kids-Will-Listen-and-Listen-So-Kids-Will-Talk-1&quot;&gt;How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk&lt;/a&gt;&quot; (Faber and Mazlich) useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes if I've taken them on a trip and we've left their mum at home, then on the way home we think about what things we'll tell mum about the trip: what did we each like best (eg dinosaurs, lunch), whether we want to go again, who do we know that would really like it, was it scary/exciting/interesting etc ... So I'm trying to give them some practice in summarising the salient details of a larger experience. Also, their mum actually wants to know how the trip went. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-10T07:01:46.870" LastActivityDate="2015-10-10T07:01:46.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22468" CreationDate="2015-10-09T17:00:55.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Probably no harm, but probably no benefit. At this age, the kids are learning phonetics, they are learning the inventory of different sounds. At a bit later age, they will no longer hear the sounds that are not in their language, same as adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In one interesting study, Kuhl’s team exposed 9 month old American&#xA;  babies to Mandarin in various forms–in person interactions with native&#xA;  Mandarin speakers vs. audiovisual or audio recordings of these&#xA;  speakers–and then looked at the impact of this exposure on the babies’&#xA;  ability to make Mandarin phonetic contrasts (not found in English) at&#xA;  10-12 months of age. Strikingly, twelve laboratory visits featuring in&#xA;  person interactions with the native Mandarin speakers were sufficient&#xA;  to teach the American babies how to distinguish the Mandarin sounds as&#xA;  well as Taiwanese babies of the same age. &lt;strong&gt;However, the same number&#xA;  of lab visits featuring the audiovisual or audio recordings made no&#xA;  impact.&lt;/strong&gt; American babies exposed to Mandarin through these&#xA;  technologies performed the same as a control group of American babies&#xA;  exposed to native English speakers during their lab visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ref: &lt;a href=&quot;http://eibalance.com/2013/05/03/kuhl-constructs-how-babies-form-foundations-for-language/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://eibalance.com/2013/05/03/kuhl-constructs-how-babies-form-foundations-for-language/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now for older children, teenagers, I have heard anecdotal evidence from Icelanders I've met that if you grow up in a household with lots of English TV, some kids pick up English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for what to do instead, not enough space here. Suffice to say, teaching children a 2nd language can be done, and the challenges are often different from what people initially expect them to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I think the jury is out on &quot;flash card TV&quot;, some of the TV shows aimed at babies/toddlers is 1/2 step away from video flash cards. The key with any TV is that it be at their level (i.e. showing cartoons meant for 8 year olds to babies doesn't help them much).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, at this age, they are moving through linguistic milestones so rapidly, advice that works, might stop working a few months later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T17:00:55.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22436" CreationDate="2015-10-09T20:06:42.483" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Preface: I faced a situation very similar in details, despite being a biological dad - so there's a chance that you being a step-father isn't a cause/trigger. There's a chance the overall situation causes more stress on her; and I'll cover that as well in #3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You seem to indicate that the relationship with the child is good outside the tantrums. If so, I would strongly recommend talking to her about this when she's calm and in good mood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 5,  she's old enough to comprehend the idea of hurting others. tell her that her actions hurt you a lot - both emotionally (&quot;make me feel bad&quot;) and physically (&quot;scratches, bruises, ouchies&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No guarantee, but she may consciously easily accept that what she did last time was bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will build an internal foundation for other steps to rely on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When dealing with the tantrum, always offer her a meaningful choice. My kids' tantrums frequently go quieted meaningfully when they were offered a choice of which parent gets to deal with it (it'll hurt the &quot;other&quot; parent emotionally when that choice is made, especially consistently - BUT, that's what you signed up for when choosing to parent. Sucks to be us :)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ensure there's 100% consistency of approach with your gf. Never enforce the rules differently (or different rules) from each other.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Part of what triggers this may be her fear of losing her mom's attention/affection. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't necessarily conscious, so she may have good relationship with you overall - yet have the issue subconsciously. How to deal with that is (imho) a wholly separate question and if you agree it may be of help; I would encourage you to ask a separate question on this site zeroing in on how to help address it. Short short version of my advice is to openly discuss it with her, and keep reassuring her that you're NOT taking her place in mom's eyes/life.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Figure out a safe environment to have her cool down. E.g. a whole room, not just a bed she can jump up from. Many cases, the child simply needs to be alone for 5-15 minutes to work out the tantrum. And before that time, they would be 100% unresponsive to ANYTHING you do/say.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider a carrot/removal approach. Establish a consistent reward (something that is minor, can be offered constantly - like a healthy yet luxury snack; or a special &quot;just for good behavior&quot; game - but that can be withdrawn easily without compromizing the child's wellbeing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used - depending on age - healthy &quot;special&quot; snack food; computer privileges; or a &quot;father carousels you around&quot; game for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the child behaves, they get a star on the wall indicating they trade it in for the luxury by end of day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they misbehave, you take away the star (after counting).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T20:06:42.483" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22475" CreationDate="2015-10-09T21:12:09.140" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Only thing that has worked for my wife and I with our 5 year old daughter is mentioning specific things we know she did that day to jog her memory. Her teacher sends out regular emails (2-3 per week) with exactly what they're working on in class, and one period per day is that days' 'special' (outside of regular room, e.g. music, art, computer lab) so we can always ask her about how that particular class went that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've found that once we jog her memory we open up quite a bit. But as someone pointed out in the comments above, its very difficult to answer general questions with no context. A 17 yr old can easily answer that question because he/she has an idea of the subtext: give me a list of some stuff you learned and let me know how your day was. All the more so because he/she has learned to expect the question: its pretty common small talk. Whereas the 5~6 year old may have no idea where to begin, even on questions that you (as an adult) may find more specific like 'what letters did you work on today?'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although the emailing is pretty common practice in the town I live in (all the elementary schools do this here) YMMV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastActivityDate="2015-10-09T21:12:09.140" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22481" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-10T02:44:57.937" Score="6" ViewCount="738" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have read that crying increases cortisol levels and shrinks the developing brain.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always try my best to respond to my newborn within 10 seconds of crying (actual crying, if she's just squirming, I give her the opportunity to self soothe first). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway I do this for most of the day and night, but from 6 pm to 12 am everyday she cries inconsably. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The paediatrician diagnosed colic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just hold her and rock her but she will cry and scream until her face is red. I'm very worried about this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although caring for a baby with colic is exhausting for me, I'm more concerned about her - it breaks my heart to see her cry&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19352" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-10T07:10:57.420" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T03:44:13.303" Title="Is crying bad for babies?" Tags="|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22416" CreationDate="2015-10-10T03:09:29.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good work trying to help your twins sleep it is so important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Short Answer is yes, if they wake up from a nap, nap time is over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have Irish twins and had to move them to separate rooms while sleep training. If that is an option for you perhaps that will help with one waking the other up. The thing to remember is you can't force your children to sleep you can only give them the best opportunity to sleep. If they are naturally waking up it is probably their natural sleep/wake cycle that is doing so. You can try adjusting the nap time earlier to see if that helps. Also every child's nap needs are different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4 months does seem a little earlier for a cry it out, but each child is different and it may be best for yours, only you can make that decision. We had to use cry it out at about 6 months for one of our children but for the other we sat in the room and over time moved further and further out of the room while she fell asleep. We tried sleeping with our children but that just kept them (and us) up. So keep experimenting and see what works best for you and your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastActivityDate="2015-10-10T03:09:29.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22484" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-10T09:22:25.227" Score="3" ViewCount="3509" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old daughter would like to know: &quot;&lt;strong&gt;How do magnets magnet onto things?&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I explain this at a level she can understand?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I'm asking this here rather than on physics.SE because this is fundamentally a how-to-explain-to-my-children question rather than a physics question. I'm not asking how magnets work, I'm asking how to explain to a 4-year-old how magnets work).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend has referred me to this Feynman video:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wMFPe-DwULM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wMFPe-DwULM&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;which is great, but my 4-year-old wouldn't understand it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So any suggestions? Any advance on my current 4-year-old interpretation of the Feynman video, which is &quot;They Just Do&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2018-04-05T19:24:33.103" Title="Explain to a 4-year-old how magnets work" Tags="|primary-schooler|learning|communication|science|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22484" CreationDate="2015-10-10T11:42:56.587" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;say &quot;let's find out together&quot;. Then collect some different magnets, some magnetic and non magnetic items, something the magnetism can be transferred to (screw driver or pin). Some type of compass building items would be nice too. Metal shaving would be nice for showing the magnetic field. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then do experiments, when possible have your child guess the outcome ahead of time and suggest things to try with the items you have on hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have fun, it is great that your child is asking questions about the physical mechanics of how the world around them works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastActivityDate="2015-10-10T11:42:56.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22484" CreationDate="2015-10-10T14:21:10.823" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing I'd do is read up on magnetism myself. I seem to recall that it is a relativistic effect of electric currents, but that's about it. In spite of what I said in my comment, I would try to give as good and exact an answer as I can. (Talk about atoms, electrons going in circles -- oh my, what an oversimplification....) In my experience children are very open to funny ideas like bending space, and they have next to no use from (wrong) simplifications. And as I said in the comment, building practical knowledge is always great, so I concur with Eric. Build a compass, proceed to Vikings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7440" LastActivityDate="2015-10-10T14:21:10.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22487" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-10T18:14:22.113" Score="2" ViewCount="292" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's 3 years old and has been peeing in the potty since 18 months. However only when I take him... he goes to daycare 5 times a week and the teachers say he stays dry most of the day.. when I have him at home in underwear he constantly pees himself and will not go on his own. What should I do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19358" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-10T20:42:18.837" LastActivityDate="2015-10-20T17:21:48.113" Title="help, my 3 year old son will go to the potty when I take him but will not go on his own even though his potty is RIGHT THERE!" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|toilet-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22475" CreationDate="2015-10-10T20:35:00.847" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the most important thing is to treat them like you would treat anyone else you want to converse with.  I think that is all about being a consistent good listener.  Not judging them.  And offering them energy by giving them full attention and genuine interest.  Don't try to dictate what they tell you about.  Don't interrogate them. There is a time for discipline and authority.  But in this case it's really about being a friend.  Finding common ground.  And sharing stories because you know the other person will feel you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my 11 yr old daughter is not allowed to have a boyfriend.  The other day she told me (I hope because of the trust we have built) that she has a boyfriend.  I didn't punish her.  I tried to focus on things that were positive to talk about and I tried to know as much as she was willing to share.  In my opinion, any other approach would just mean that she would never tell me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I realize things are not exactly the same with a younger child. But this trust relationship starts now.  At the end of the day, everyone is their own person and people click and converse for whatever reasons they choose. And no one wants to be questioned.  Even at five.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19360" LastEditorUserId="19360" LastEditDate="2015-10-10T20:40:24.480" LastActivityDate="2015-10-10T20:40:24.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22481" CreationDate="2015-10-11T03:14:47.837" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first child had colic and it was the most frustrating thing in the world. Every night, from 7pm to 9pm, she was just inconsolable. After all of the internet remedies, nothing worked, just time. After 3 nights, it stopped. We were so surprised how much this improved her (and our) quality of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there are many movements and schools of thought on everything from breastfeeding to comforting, I have not come across any definitive proof on the amount of crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line, babies cry. They cry for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes, like with colic, there is no reason. They just want to cry. With parenting comes advice, which is sometimes wanted and sometimes not. My mother said that I was colicy and all that I needed was a little rice cereal in my formula. That did not work with my daughter. We never found a remedy. One night, she just didn't cry at 7pm. And it was glorious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best advice I can give is that it will pass. Oh and smart phones help! =)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19362" LastActivityDate="2015-10-11T03:14:47.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22407" CreationDate="2015-10-11T07:19:20.083" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with most of the other answers. But I would like to stress the rights you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;YOU ARE A FREE PERSON.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be aware that your parents cannot force you to do anything. They cannot imprison you. You want to run away? They cannot prevent it. You don't want to go to school, don't want to eat, don't want to live at home? Nobody in the world can force you. Your father probably is stronger than you and can physically force you a limited number of times to do something you don't want to do but in the end you are and remain a free person. That's very important to understand: &lt;strong&gt;You are a free person.&lt;/strong&gt; Even at 16. I know, it doesn't feel like it. But understand the power you have. That's exciting and frightening at the same time, because &lt;em&gt;you forge your own destiny.&lt;/em&gt; That's huge. And then go from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7440" LastActivityDate="2015-10-11T07:19:20.083" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22491" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22505" CreationDate="2015-10-11T08:54:09.037" Score="16" ViewCount="66952" Body="&lt;p&gt;The toddler is 2 years 3 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The blue part in following sketch has been solely coloured by her. Red part has been coloured by me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SOoxb.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SOoxb.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age should I tell her to be mindful of the boundaries while colouring?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2015-10-12T06:37:40.897" LastActivityDate="2020-04-28T04:11:45.647" Title="At what age should I tell my child to colour within the lines?" Tags="|toddler|age-appropriate|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22492" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-11T13:20:52.847" Score="3" ViewCount="460" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 month old son happily sleeps soundly for hours at a stretch during the day but when it comes to the night he won't go to sleep until 4 - 5am and when he does go down, he fidgets himself awake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He suffered from really bad wind and reflux which kept him up until 5am and now his wind and reflux is getting better, his bed time just seems to be stuck at 5am. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are trying to adjust his bed time by limiting his naps during the day (he currently has 3 naps daily between 1-2 hours), and putting him down at the earlier cycle (usually around 2am) but even when he goes to sleep, he's up after half an hour and then up until 5am. We are also waking him up around 11/12 but don't want to deprive him of sleep. We currently have a bedtime routine of bath, baby massage and feeding to sleep. We also control the light so it's bright and loud during the day and quiet and dark in the evenings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any advice on how to change a baby's sleep pattern without depriving them of sleep and avoiding controlled crying? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19363" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T18:49:27.297" Title="How do I make my nocturnal 4mo baby sleep at night?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-11-24T07:46:23.437" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22484" CreationDate="2015-10-11T14:06:26.447" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, the answers by @Eric and Peter Schneider are already good. Instead of always explaining stuff by words, let the kids try to find it out as much as possible by themselves, if possible. Guide them, encourage them to try this and this, and if they claim an idea about it, let them prove it. That's just how real science works, too (without the guidance, of course).&#xA;And if the kids want to know more, explain it on a level they understand - though underlying mechanisms are often hard to understand, even by adults.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, there are intermediate explanations as the example of the slippery ice from Feynman's video, which can be explained by a thin film of water, melted from the ice under pressure. But the next step, &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; water behaves like that, while other substances do not, is already more complicated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, there is also no good intermediate step. One of the most head questions is &quot;Why is the sky blue?&quot;, where most adults don't have an answer for. As physicist, I know it's about Raman and Rayleigh scattering of sunlight in the atmosphere, but I really have no idea how to explain this to an adult, or even a child. I can just say that sunlight is scattered, and that this happens more to blue than other colors... which is not very satisfying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back to  magnets, I would explain it as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The kid should already have found out, that a magnet has a north and a south pole , and that poles can repel or attract each other, and that this already works from some distance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, a magnet consists of many many, very tiny mini-magnets, which are all aligned into the same direction, and can not move / rotate.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;One prove for this is to break a magnet into two pieces, which each on it's own are perfect magnets with north and south pole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Iron also contains this mini-magnets, but they are not aligned and have  random orientations. When a magnet is placed near to iron, the mini-magnets start to rotate and align into the direction of the magnet. This is because the poles of the magnet attract the counter-poles of the mini-magnets.&#xA;The iron becomes magnetic, and attracts the magnet (and vice-versa). If the magnet is removed, each of the mini-magnets start to move to a random orientation again, and the iron looses its magnetic property.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Inside steel, the mini-magnets can't rotate that easily, they only do it when there is a magnet near to them. As consequence, they remain in their orientation, even when the magnet is removed. The steel becomes a (weak) magnet itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other materials may not contain any mini-magnets, or those mini-magnets are not aligned and absolutely unable to rotate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this does not explain what this mini magnets are or why they / magnetic fields exist. (And there's also no fundamental answer why magnetism itself exists.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way: Did you ever notice that earths north pole actually is a magnetic south pole? A compass needle is a magnet, and its north pole is marked with an &lt;code&gt;N&lt;/code&gt;. So, this side is attracted by a magnetic south pole, which must be at the geographic north pole.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And a last comment:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't know if you know who Richard Feynman from the video is. He is one of the greatest physicists of the 20th century and got the nobel prize for his work on quantum electro dynamics. This is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; complicated stuff, and he managed to teach about it in the most clearest way possible. His &lt;em&gt;Feynman diagramms&lt;/em&gt; are &lt;em&gt;the&lt;/em&gt; standard to describe processes in particle and quantum physics. So, if you need someone explaining complicated stuff &quot;for dummys&quot;, he's your man.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19364" LastActivityDate="2015-10-11T14:06:26.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22494" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-11T14:35:21.517" Score="7" ViewCount="2666" Body="&lt;p&gt;My youngest son just turned five. For years he's had a relentless craving for sweets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's constantly requesting/demanding sugary food and drinks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If we walk by somebody eating anything in a wrapper, he stops and stares (at the snack)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His first stop every morning is the pantry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, he (Matthew) began throwing a tremendous tantrum out of the blue. Rolling on the ground, crying, heaving, and appearing to have convulsions. My wife and I were about to call for help, but we decided to try a lollipop first. He took the lollipop, calmed down, and within a few minutes was back at play with his brothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His fraternal twin brother and older brother (6), also like sweets, but don't have any addictive characteristics (i.e., when we say no, they get over it and move on).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All three are on the same diet consisting mostly of natural, fresh foods, plain water, whole milk, diluted fruit juices, and the least sugary, salty snacks. We also allow them to indulge occasionally on sweets (chocolate, ice cream, birthday cakes, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we have never allowed Matthew to fulfill his craving for sugar (assuming that's even possible). There's always been a limit, and he's always unsatisfied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His craving isn't confined to refined sugar. He devours peaches, grapes, watermelon and other fruits with equal pleasure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here's my question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering that Matthew's craving for sugar is relentless, intense&#xA;and has been ongoing for years, is it possible that his craving&#xA;represents a legitimate nutritional need?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, is it possible that his body genuinely needs more&#xA;sugar, and by limiting his consumption we are actually stunting his&#xA;growth and development?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17397" LastEditorUserId="17397" LastEditDate="2023-03-28T17:57:04.097" LastActivityDate="2023-03-28T17:57:04.097" Title="Can it be unhealthy to deprive a child of sugar?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|eating|nutrition|addiction|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6967" CreationDate="2015-10-11T18:53:45.303" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't take her to a therapist - my mother did this to me and I got very angry and I did not change at all. Take her to a place with kids her age and she will change her behavior within a couple years. It worked for me. I was doing all those things and with then a few minutes I would be ok. I had bipolar disorder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should do is make her take an online test to see if she has a disorder. If the results say she does, you should tell her doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19370" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T10:52:19.070" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T10:52:19.070" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22494" CreationDate="2015-10-11T20:04:06.120" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Did children (humans) have access to refined sugar in the last several million years? Obviously not, they mostly only had a rather limited supply of fruit sugar. So, absent any special medical condition, children do not need refined sugar. Otherwise we as a species wouldn't have survived. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sugar in its refined form is mainly pure energy in a form that's easy to process for the human body. As such it is hard to come by without any industry, while our oversized brains need an incredible amount of energy. Thus we crave energy-rich food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if we consume too much of it, the body stores it away and we get fat. Nowadays, it is not a problem to have access to energy, the problem is to fight the natural craving and not to eat more than you need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-10-12T01:08:25.890" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T01:08:25.890" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22242" CreationDate="2015-10-11T21:21:31.290" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Diego,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest getting him into fun programs.  Get him on a local football team with some kids his age.  He will hopefully have fun and start to see the local kids as his friends.  Even better if you can find a coach that knows a little Spanish and is willing to help him feel comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19371" LastActivityDate="2015-10-11T21:21:31.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22494" CreationDate="2015-10-11T21:36:54.760" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As an adult I recently overcame my sugar-habit by drinking copious amounts of zero-sugar cola every time I felt the craving coming on. Sometimes I would drink 2 litres a day. Of course I became worried that the artificial sweetener was just as damaging. However once the sugar addiction had gone, I found it easy to give up the cola as well. Now I need neither (and I've lost weight as an unanticipated side-effect).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not medically qualified and I don't recommend going to that extreme with a child or without medical approval.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could use it as a one-off test. Does he really need sugar (maybe it's a medical condition) or does he just want sweet things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an idea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can buy sugar-free sweets in the UK and it's really difficult to tell the difference. When he is desperate for something sweet, you could give him a sugar-free sweet. If it satisfies him then you could question whether it is actual natural sugar he craves or just something sweet. However if the fake sweet doesn't make him feel better, I'd suggest checking with the doctor again because it may be a physiological problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can buy a whole range of sugar free sweets in most supermarkets and pharmacies these days. (I'm assuming you are British because you use the word 'sweets')  Just Google them. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=sugar+free+sweets&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=sugar+free+sweets&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not suggesting a long-term, complete switch to sweeteners. I mostly avoid them myself now. I just thought of them as a way to do a simple one-off test. The fact that they are readily available in many supermarkets may or may not indicate some degree of safety. As I mentioned, I have no medical qualifications and my ideas are only that - they aren't recommendations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17787" LastEditorUserId="17787" LastEditDate="2015-10-13T19:10:10.417" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T19:10:10.417" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22491" CreationDate="2015-10-11T22:42:34.680" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question of &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; to address coloring inside the lines is actually a question of child development, especially fine motor skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there could be philosophical arguments about whether it's good or bad for a child's creativity to have them work inside the constraints of lines, I believe that clouds the specific issue (and is a different question). Instead, we need to focus on whether or not it's a task the child is actually capable of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;When can children stay inside the lines while coloring?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much of the information out there points to the same age range, but this article, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;amp;rct=j&amp;amp;q=&amp;amp;esrc=s&amp;amp;source=web&amp;amp;cd=11&amp;amp;cad=rja&amp;amp;uact=8&amp;amp;ved=0CBwQFjAAOApqFQoTCKzhsrW2u8gCFQs8Pgodn84MUA&amp;amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentresource.ca%2Fdownload.php%3Fd%3DEGTkLCKVGUd-plus-lCgBd1lEhW53rar9hO46f-plus-1VN4n37h-plus-Xi9zS-slash-FKoL5rrxq7waTIbE4E-slash-QQuUsCgECke4mGJgug-equals--equals-%26ts%3D1433774866%26f%3D61&amp;amp;usg=AFQjCNFbRMmAzF-UwjjDVgZL2uH9-gJ0-g&amp;amp;sig2=hTwRhdShGpovW-hBByLcuA&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Fine Motor Development 0-6 Years (PDF)&lt;/a&gt;, summarizes it quite nicely:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3 to 4 Years&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Your child will have a strong&#xA;preference for a lead/dominant&#xA;hand, but switching continues.&#xA;When drawing, the lead hand will be&#xA;holding the crayon while the assist&#xA;hand is stabilizing the paper. Your&#xA;child will progress from being able to&#xA;copy lines &amp;amp; circles to imitating&#xA;crosses (+) &amp;amp; tracing over triangles&#xA;&amp;amp; diamonds. &lt;strong&gt;The child will attempt&#xA;to colour within the lines but with&#xA;limited success.&lt;/strong&gt; By 4 years of age,&#xA;your child should be holding the&#xA;crayon with three fingers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4 to 5 Years&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;During this stage hand use is&#xA;characterized by refined wrist &amp;amp;&#xA;finger movement &amp;amp; decreased elbow&#xA;&amp;amp; shoulder movement. During&#xA;drawing, a combination of finger &amp;amp;&#xA;wrist movement should be observed.&#xA;Hand dominance is typically&#xA;established between 4 &amp;amp; 6 years, so&#xA;a hand preference should be&#xA;apparent &amp;amp; consistent. As a result,&#xA;the skill of the dominant hand should&#xA;begin to exceed the skill of the nondominant&#xA;hand. &lt;strong&gt;During colouring,&#xA;the child will become capable of&#xA;staying within the lines&lt;/strong&gt; as well as&#xA;copying crosses, diagonal lines &amp;amp;&#xA;squares using a tripod pencil grasp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we see here is that around the age of 3, children start being developmentally &lt;em&gt;capable&lt;/em&gt; of trying to stay in the lines. This has to do with a combination of cognitive ability, grip, and fine motor control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, sometime during their fourth year, children become more adept at staying within the lines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to note that these are generalized developmental milestones, and not hard and fast timelines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This study, &lt;a href=&quot;http://ajot.aota.org/Article.aspx?articleid=1877487&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Descriptive Analysis of the Developmental Progression of Grip Position for Pencil and Crayon Control in Nondysfunctional Children&lt;/a&gt;, found some trends in the way children hold their writing/drawing implements based on their age. They identified two &amp;quot;mature grips&amp;quot; that are essentially the traditional pencil grips we're taught to use. While age breakdowns available in the article are interesting, this excerpt really highlights the concept of development:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Coloring&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;During the administration of the coloring task, we&#xA;noted that often the children would first color the&#xA;edge of the circle using a more mature grip and then&#xA;color in the center of the circle using a less mature&#xA;grip. This was more noticeable in younger children;&#xA;older children would simply slow down to color the&#xA;edge and then continue with the same grip for the&#xA;center of the circle. We chose to analyze the grip used&#xA;to color the center of the circle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What this clearly shows is that children typically need to have the fine motor control and grip strength necessary for a traditional, &amp;quot;mature&amp;quot; grip in order to stay within the lines. They may start using that method just for the edges, while going back to the physically-easier methods of coloring the insides of the drawing until their grip strength and stamina improves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;How does this answer the question?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It lets us know that, at a minimum, this shouldn't be a concern for parents until around the ages of three or four. Unless there's a clear developmental problem, there probably doesn't need to be any extra coaching on the matter. Children will develop the grip necessary to complete the task most efficiently as they get older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most effective way for them to improve their strength and control is by giving them plenty of opportunity to practice. &lt;strong&gt;Rather than focusing on whether or not they're able to stay in the lines, you should focus on whether or not they're getting enough opportunities to develop.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;When should you actually tell children to stay within the lines?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be a time when it's appropriate to advise your child to specifically be mindful of the lines. This would be a time &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; you know they've already developed enough to be capable of minding the boundaries, but for reason they aren't doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A clear example is one from my own youth: I would often rush to complete a drawing or coloring page, and in my excited impatience fail to take the time necessary to stay in the lines. Here, my specific problem was more behavioral, and a reminder to take my time and to be calm would help to address the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I expect this to happen sometime &lt;strong&gt;around age six&lt;/strong&gt;. Six years old is frequently seen as a delimiter between stages of artistic/fine motor development in children. This chart, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.learningdesign.com/Portfolio/DrawDev/kiddrawing.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Drawing Development in Children&lt;/a&gt;, shows that two other drawing development experts believe a new stage of drawing development starts around age six.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T19:53:18.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22242" CreationDate="2015-10-12T00:55:32.923" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although I certainly would not do this suddenly, I recommend using some incentives. You don't get dessert if you don't ask for it in English. You can't play on the ipad* (or whatever item rules your 6yr old's attention) unless you ask for it in English. Christmas presents? Your list had better be in English. You get the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said though, I wouldn't spring that suddenly. I would introduce it gradually with clearly marked (and frequently reminded) timelines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem (as you've described it) is that you are worried about the long-term consequences your child doesn't have perspective to appreciate. But we deal with this as parents all the time: kid darts into the street? We punish with an artificial consequence because we &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; have the child learn the hard way about the danger of being hit by a car. Likewise, we incentivize our children to do well in school with punishments and rewards because we understand the long-term importance in a way they can't, and we know they can't, so we give them artificial incentives they can relate to on their level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying to tell a young child that this will be important long term is like trying to teach a cat to scuba dive by providing written instructions. It doesn't matter how clearly you write them, the cat will not learn. No matter how articulate, you won't be able to persuade without giving something (no matter how clearly artificial) that matters to the child &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*and if, like mine, your child is completely enamored of a piece of tech, changing the language setting will definitely give some incentive to learn that language. Or maybe incentive to put the thing down and do something more active. Win-win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T00:55:32.923" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22494" CreationDate="2015-10-12T12:23:31.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the outset, I am not a scientist, and have read a bit about sugar and diet to try and understand things better. What follows is my understanding about sugar. There may be some mistakes here, but I'll try and reference information where I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It largely depends on what you define as &quot;deprive&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you completely remove all sugars from a child's diet (lactose, fructose, glucose, sucrose etc.), then yes, this is largely going to be detrimental to the child since the human body does require sugars (there's also evidence to suggest that removing sugar from your diet and relying on a high fat diet can, paradoxically, lead to &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insulin_resistance#Diet&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;insulin resistance&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Digging deeper into the types of sugars out there, watch Dr. Lustig's video &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sugar: The Bitter Truth&lt;/a&gt;&quot;. While there is some controversy around what he says, from what I've read I do believe there is a large dosage of truth in what he describes. I will try summarise what I can recall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Glucose is not very sweet, and tends to be better processed as a sugar by the body, primarily due to the fact that 80% of glucose can be broken and used by most of the organs in your body. Every cell in your body can pretty much use glucose. 20% of the calories from glucose hit the liver, gets stored as glycogen, which the liver can store in pretty much massive quantities without ill-effect, and be used as energy (Lactose gets broken down by an enzyme called lactese, but I won't get into that here, since this is not really relevant.) It's a lot more involved, as it also sends good signals to the rest of you body to increase insulin, tell you to stop eating etc. etc. A pretty good loop that is healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fructose and sucrose, both of which are infinitely sweeter, however, gets broken down by the liver, roughly 80% of the calories. Unlike glucose, cells and other organs in your body cannot break it down on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this is only part of the story. Bacteria in your gut can also break down fructose, which is why fructose from fruit (that often come with high levels of fibre) has less of a health issue than added fructose in low-fibre foods, since the fibre causes the sugars to stay in your gut longer, hence the bacteria there can deal with it better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Added sugars that are ingested with very low levels of fibre (think fruit juices, soft drinks, very sugary foods like cakes etc.) tend to go straight to the liver to get broken down in almost the same way that ethanol is broken down, which can help lead to increased levels of obesity and health problems if consumed in large quantities. There are a number of other factors at play, such as large quantities of added sugar inhibiting signals from your body telling you that you're full and had enough to eat, and that you're no longer hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What Dr. Lustig proposes is that fructose and sucrose are essentially a poison in the way your body deals with and processes them. Many of the health effects linked to high consumption of added fructose and sucrose are similar to health issues seen in alcoholics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The actual process is a lot more involved than the brief description here, but is described at length in Lustig's video.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this suggests that restricting added sugars in your child's diet is a very, very good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your particular case, one thing to keep in mind is that people are different, even children from the same parents. Experiences, drugs, food etc. all affect people in different ways, and some people derive intense pleasure from things that others don't. All children respond to stimuli in a different way, and from what you describe, your child derives intense pleasure from things that are sweet. Sugar is addictive because it is a type of hyperpalatables, that is, a foodstuff that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/why-sugar-is-so-addictive.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;stimulates the pleasure centres of the brain&lt;/a&gt;. Processed sucrose and fructose, high fructose corn syrup etc. are intensely sweet, far more than lactose and glucose, and thus trigger much higher levels of pleasure than other types of sugar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people are going to be affected by this more than others. Children in particular are very susceptible to experiences that trigger their pleasure sensors because it can be very intense for them. Think about it: it's a new experience, and if it's pleasurable, they want to repeat it. They haven't developed the willpower to recognise good things in moderation. If I were to just think of my child, for example, he gets great pleasure from very particular types of activities (for example, watching a TV show), and if I remove those activities, it can lead to behaviour such as you describe: tantrums, jealousy at others who are allowed to take part in this activity, longing etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me, then, that your child is likely not trying to satisfy a dietary need, but is rather trying to satisfy a pleasure craving. I'm not saying it's not impossible that he has a requirement, but it does seem highly unlikely since he doesn't seem to show any other health issues you'd relate to a lack of something in his diet. If you are worried about it, then seek professional advice, but I think it is highly unlikely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As hard as it may be, I'd suggest you're on the right track by pushing through and teaching him to control his impulses to satisfy this pleasure craving. Satisfying this craving with sugars from fruit is definitely a good solution. Rewarding his tantrum with the very thing he is craving (that is, processed sugars in sweets, soft drinks etc.) is going to cause more problems for you later on since he's going to repeat this behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7452" LastEditorUserId="7452" LastEditDate="2015-10-12T12:45:20.300" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T12:45:20.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22512" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-12T18:01:39.243" Score="7" ViewCount="2493" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the pros and cons of colouring-in (as opposed to freehand drawing) for pre-school and primary age children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm asking in response to this question:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22491/at-what-age-should-i-tell-my-child-to-colour-within-the-lines&quot;&gt;At what age should I tell my child to colour within the lines?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;where it looked like there was an interesting discussion kind of 'waiting in the sidelines' but a bit off-topic for that specific question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid my parents avoided colouring-in - I remember the good old '&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.susanstriker.com/anticoloring.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;anti-colouring book&lt;/a&gt;' - but it's not something I've ever thought about in a lot of depth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know the standard criticism is that it inhibits creativity in drawing - but is that true? What's the research evidence, for and against? Maybe there are other pro and cons that I'm not aware of (e.g. perhaps it encourages fine motor skills).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2018-03-23T01:35:57.173" Title="What are the pros and cons of colouring books?" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|arts-and-crafts|fine-motor-skills|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22484" CreationDate="2015-10-12T19:39:45.710" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What she is really asking is not details about how it works - poles, relationship to distance, etc.  These are things we understand about magnetism.  But what we do not understand is the nature of magnetism.  Feynman concludes that he cannot tell the interviewer why magnetism works, because we still do not know why magnetism works.  We know magnetic forces are related to electrical forces, but we are still in the dark about what is at the nature of the electric or magnetic field.  So I think the best answer is to be very clear that we, people, still do not know how magnets magnet.  If it was my child (and I have had similar conversations with them), I would be clear about that, then go over what we do know, with experiments.  Recently, my son and I got into a discussion about the nature of light, and we actually did the experiment where we split a laser beam with razor blades (cost of materials $3.50 at Walmart).&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Also, I would be telling them the whole time that maybe they will be the ones to figure out how magnets magnet.  If they are asking the question, that is the kind of inquisitiveness you want to encourage.  It shows a bit of a scientist's mindset, so encourage it, but without pushing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T19:39:45.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22484" CreationDate="2015-10-12T20:26:55.827" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Going beyond &quot;They just do&quot; is a bit difficult when dealing with a four-year-old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about some other substances with unusual properties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can see through glass and plastic.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pumice floats in water/Helium balloons float.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mercury is liquid at room temperature.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Metal bends, but glass shatters&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rocks are heavy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Understanding these concepts takes different levels of scientific understanding. However, people generally just accept that those are how things &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; in everyday life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of the video linked in the question does a nice job of illustrating this: Your arm doesn't fall through the armrest when you put it down. It's just part of how things work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to advance your description, I would maybe go into a lesson about how some things just &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; that way. Rocks are hard. Water is see-through. Stars are in the sky. You may not be teaching a lesson about electromagnetism, but you will still be teaching a lesson about how the world works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, based on personal experience, you could also teach about North/South Poles, or opposites. I taught my three-year-old (now four), when they wanted to know how their magnetic toys worked. I showed them that when the magnets push away from one another, they're the same Pole (North &amp;amp; North or South &amp;amp; South), but that they like to be with &lt;em&gt;different&lt;/em&gt; Poles, so only North &amp;amp; South will stick together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although you may fall down a rabbit hole of &quot;Why?&quot;, I found that my child was more than satisfied by that quick lesson, and five months later they recalled it well enough to explain to an adult relative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2017-06-15T23:28:06.273" LastActivityDate="2017-06-15T23:28:06.273" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22517" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23198" CreationDate="2015-10-12T21:30:28.810" Score="4" ViewCount="2306" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old toddler loves to pull on hair. &#xA;He pulls on mine and his own, usually to calm himself to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has always loved pulling hair - which most babies do, but he didn't stop. I tell him gently he can't pull my hair, and he usually stops, but then soon he does it again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am especially concerned about the fact that he does it to calm himself (I wonder if it is a form of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Trichotillomania&lt;/a&gt;, though it is not that severe). He doesn't actually pull out big chunks of hair, if any. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually move his hands from my hair to his if he is about to sleep (I don't want to say firmly 'no' or even talk to him when he is half asleep). I don't know if that just reinforces him in pulling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a complication of this, most nights he comes and sleeps in our bed (I am not looking to end the co-sleeping). Around 4/5 he gets half awake, and starts pulling my hair. This makes it hard for me to get my sleep. I usually just remove his hands from my hair. Again, I really don't want to get him to a wakeful state. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my questions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does he like pulling hair? &#xA;Will it stop?&#xA;How can I get him to stop, especially when he is not really awake?&#xA;Is this something I should be concerned about other than the annoyance for me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;as a side note: He loves the hair of other toddlers too, but mostly remembers not to pull it. &#xA;He also doesn't have any developmental issues we are aware up, and as far as we know all his behaviors and milestones are within the norm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-11-29T03:34:12.440" Title="Why does my toddler pull hair to calm himself? How can I make him stop?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|hair|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22512" CreationDate="2015-10-12T21:40:59.467" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did quite a bit of searching, but couldn't find anything I would deem research-quality evidence.  Perhaps it hasn't been studied to that degree.  Anyway, here is a summary of the more anecdotal observations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stifles creativity.  Kids are just filling in pre-drawn images instead of creating their own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Creates unrealistic standards.  Kids may be reluctant to create their own drawings because they can't meet the standards of the pre-drawn adult ones.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mindless escape.  More akin to activities like watching TV than creating your own content.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Commercialized.  Promotes the products and characters of corporations, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Promotes conformity/blind obedience.  Color within the lines is practically synonymous with sacrificing one's self in the name of conformity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Holds kids attention.  Can keep them busy for a long time without adult intervention, even indoors or in a car.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fine motor skills.  Strengthens the muscles and coordination that will be needed later for writing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stress reduction.  Same as any other escapist activity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Catalyst for original creative work.  Kids, like adults, are not bottomless sources of creative ideas.  Sometimes pre-canned ideas help spawn more original ideas of their own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Helps build art &quot;vocabulary.&quot;  Learning how colors mix, what colors look nice in what situations, etc.  There's a lot of room for improvement and expression, even within the constraints of a limited medium.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Kids love it&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, the last one is really the clincher.  We've somehow gotten into a weird state of teaching/parenting where we see something a child loves to do, so we immediately take it away and give her the more &quot;serious&quot; version of that thing to learn.  No child ever loved coloring books so much that she tried to make it her college major.  Trust her enough to want to explore and branch out in her own time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-10-12T21:40:59.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22494" CreationDate="2015-10-13T00:05:49.350" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Considering that Matthew's craving for sugar is relentless, intense and has been ongoing for years, is it possible that his craving represents a legitimate nutritional need?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never heard of such a need personally. But you strike me as a grounded, sensible person trying very hard to find the best path for their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think offering a non-sugar lolly as a control is a great idea to help indicate if his reaction is most likely physical or behavioural in nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a similar tantrum occurs again you could also offer a banana or other piece of high-fructose fruit you know he usually enjoys. If he is happy with this and it has the same positive effect as the lolly did this time, that suggests to me it may be physically related. If he refuses and holds out for a lolly or confectionary, it may be more behavioural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a corollary, my 10 yr old daughter (also a fraternal twin) also has a sweet tooth. She is the healthiest eater of our 3 children and loves salads, fruit and a lot of vegetables. She's also the one who craves sweets the most, whether fruit or confectionary. More than this, she's very emotionally attached to food. If she's denied a treat she has her heart set on she gets really upset and feels it's a sign the denier is rejecting her personally. My wife and I don't get angry with her over this, but neither have we ever rewarded the behaviour by giving in and letting her have the treat. Despite that, she still acts this way and always has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her twin brother likes sweets but doesn't view it as an emotional betrayal when he doesn't get them. Her older brother (now 12) liked sweets when younger but now rarely eats them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own belief is my daughter is just very switched on to food at a fundamental level. It's simply part of who she is. At some deep level she associates food with love (although she certainly doesn't think it's &quot;the same as&quot; love). Of course I can see some potential pitfalls with this as she goes through life but she's an active, healthy girl who likes being outdoors and is in the normal weight range for her age. She's extremely loving and affectionate. She's a caring sister and is loved by her friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The view I've come to over the years is that she gains more from being supported and loved with firm, but not draconian, boundaries on her eating habits than she would from us trying to fundamentally go against her grain out of a misguided sense of zealotry. I don't believe for a minute a harsher approach would succeed in changing this part of her. It would only make her ashamed of who she is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Charles&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19375" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T00:05:49.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22521" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22604" CreationDate="2015-10-13T05:41:13.660" Score="7" ViewCount="1606" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is 2 years 3 months old, and she loves following 4 activities:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting read books.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Making sketches with me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Going outside to play.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Watching cartoons on TV.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that these activities require me or her father to engaged all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot read to her throughout the day (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/20247/how-to-create-learning-opportunities-for-the-toddler-who-is-already-extremely&quot;&gt;she would be extremely happy if I did so though&lt;/a&gt;), but I can't because reading books in a dramatic way to the child consumes a lot energy. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22441/how-to-encourage-a-2-year-old-toddler-to-complete-colouring-a-sketch#comment44018_22441&quot;&gt;Besides I have read all these books multiple number of time so I am bored to death but she is not.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read 3 books at max and then I get tired and bored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do take her outside to play but that also requires terrible energy from our side because we have to be constantly run after her and be watchful of what she is touching and putting in her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her father takes her out for 45 minutes in the evening.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22441/how-to-encourage-a-2-year-old-toddler-to-complete-colouring-a-sketch&quot;&gt;While drawing sketches she wants me to participating all the time.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem is that these activities can be done only for a limited period of time. What should be done after that? When there is nothing to do she tells me to switch on TV. I comply because I know there is nothing for her to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has got toys non mechanical toys but she doesn't play with them. Previously she used to enjoy playing with blocks but now she is bored of it probably because the only thing which she can build is a long tower! How many times can I expect her to build that tower?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is very social.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;This problem is only for Saturdays and Sundays when the daycare is closed and she is at home with us.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2019-02-19T20:10:09.903" Title="How to keep a 2 year old toddler entertained throughout the day?" Tags="|toddler|learning|activities|play|games|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22521" CreationDate="2015-10-13T06:09:38.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tv is not an answer. At this age the amount of TV should be very, very limited - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_tv-watching-guidelines-for-toddlers_11746.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;1 to 2 hours&lt;/a&gt; according to American Academy of Pediatrics - but I'd say that 1h is absolute maximum, seeing how my girl is hooked to tv, watching it with open mount and a thoughtless impression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for other activties - here are some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter loves playing with duplos - with the figures, mostly, but since a month or so also with the blocks. She aligns her pets in a row, puts them around a toy plate and feeds them, then we build a &quot;house&quot; and put the figures around. If you haven't tried these, I recommend you get a &quot;starter&quot; set of a &quot;zoo&quot; or &quot;forest&quot; with some animals and some human figures and see if she enjoys it. Remember that you have to teach her how to play with them - at first it will be you who will have to do things with those figures. Building things with blocks, even picking them up, arranging them, really does improve motoric skills a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/8fXti.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/8fXti.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;duplo forest&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's still warm where you live, try putting your daughter in a sandbox with a plastic bucket, moulds, shovel, rake... And see what happens. Again, you will have to initiate the playing at first, but in a short while she should grasp the idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plasticine and kinetic sand could be a good idea. With plasticine you could build animals, pots, cars... Whatever you think of, actually. And a kinetic sand is more-or-less an indoor substitute of a normal sand. Just remember to play in one place and not distribute the sand everywhere. Here's how the sand looks: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgf0fpo1W6c&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgf0fpo1W6c&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two years is the age I think is OK to introduce first phone/tablet apps. There are few available for a 2yo kid, but, in particular, the lego duplo apps &quot;forest&quot; and &quot;ice-cream&quot; I think are appropriate for that age. I haven't found any other, though, most were for older children. These apps, btw, combine well with playing with real blocks (I guess that's duplo's idea behind making those), so after playing a tablet game, your daughter can be asked to build some things she saw there with the blocks she has. And remember to limit the tablet-time to a sensible amount (we, for now, stick to one-play-per-day, which is around 10-15 minutes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An indoor swing or a platform are an interesting idea. A swing is safer, while a platform improves body coordination and sense of balance. Both are fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/8d5dQ.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/8d5dQ.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;platform&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-10-13T06:15:00.587" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T06:15:00.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22523" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-13T06:50:20.827" Score="8" ViewCount="324" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have an 8-year-old son. He has no intellectual or developmental disabilities. However, we are concerned about the following. He will not speak up in protest for himself. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He tripped and fell in school. He was treated, but remained in pain (and, as it turned out, was not treated enough: he needed sutures). He remained in pain until the end of the school day, several hours, without saying &quot;it hurts; can you do something?&quot;. (The school had told him in the morning, when he fell, they were calling his parents, but didn't.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If his sibling abuses him (for example, plays unfairly in a game or takes more than their share of something desirable), he will either suffer without protest&#xA;— or go into such a rage that he cannot speak. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the other thing: if he isn't suffering silently, it's because he's so offended that he cannot even get words out. He goes from one extreme to the other, building up his suffering until he flies into one of his sputtering moods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I seek your advice regarding what to do about this. We are at a loss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19384" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-03T13:15:54.757" LastActivityDate="2019-04-03T13:24:53.363" Title="What to do about an 8-year-old who will suffer silently until a breaking point?" Tags="|middle-childhood|emotional-well-being|anger|pain|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22524" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22567" CreationDate="2015-10-13T09:51:26.530" Score="10" ViewCount="940" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/20314/2221&quot;&gt;Why should I be hell bent on educating my toddler when she's going to learn the stuff anyways when she grows up?&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6349/4-year-old-refuses-to-color?rq=1#comment9529_6349&quot;&gt;4 year old refuses to color&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering that the answers linked above say that we should not force the child to learn something, I am concerned about my 2 years 3 months old toddler.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her playschool teacher had given her a colouring homework which my child coloured incompletely. The child coloured only the eyes of the ant, not her body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told the teacher today that the &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22441/how-to-encourage-a-2-year-old-toddler-to-complete-colouring-a-sketch?lq=1&quot;&gt;child doesn't like colouring big areas&lt;/a&gt; to this that teacher replied the child doesn't have any problems in colouring big areas in the  playschool &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;since I hold her hand and make her colour that area and you should also do the same.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/22442/2221&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/22442/2221&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I think that a toddler is way too young for mandatory homework, so the first thing is not to worry about getting it done or doing it &quot;right&quot;. It turns something that should be a pleasure into a chore, and will guarantee that she won't want anything to do with art in later years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also told the teacher that I can draw the object myself at home and have her colour it. She didn't want that. She said that the rule is to color what has been told, though she agreed that she will draw smaller objects for homework in future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Changing playschool is not an option for monetary reasons as well as I do not expect any different treatment in other schools in India. Education system here is not very great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Do I need to deal with that teacher about her holding the hand of the child and making her colour? If yes, how? If no, why?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Or am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;P.S. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22491/at-what-age-should-i-tell-my-child-to-colour-within-the-lines&quot;&gt;This is the same child who coloured the goat, blue&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T03:05:55.667" Title="How/Should I deal with the playschool teacher who makes the toddler colour by holding her hand?" Tags="|toddler|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22462" CreationDate="2015-10-13T09:55:40.127" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to share my experience with you after everything has happened:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day before the funeral I took her and explained very clearly what we are going to do, why and what will happen. Children have a very clear language. So I explained that he died, that means we will never be able to visit him, talk to him again or even see him anymore. We were going to say goodbye to him. He will be inside of a box that is going to be put under the earth. People are going to be very sad for a while. &#xA;She accepted all of this easily. So I was not absolutely sure about the grade of understanding, but since I know her and she is pretty smart, I was sure there should not be anymore suprises for her in what is going to happen. So we took her with us.&#xA;Inside of the church she was pretty calm and curious. Never frightened or something. Sometimes a bit simpering. &#xA;Lateron during the funeral the same. She dropped some flowers into the grave and said bye. That's it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sure her presence was helpful for some of the relatives although I cared that she was not instrumented for anyone to feel better at any time. She decided herself who to talk to and where to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lateron she explained her little sister that gran-grandad  has &quot;decended in a box and is now gone&quot;. That's it.&#xA;Maybe she will remember this experience in future, maybe not, but I am very sure she will defenitely not remember it as something very scary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The benefit is that she was a part of the process and I am sure she will never wonder where he is and why he is not there anymore because she simply knows what happened and was a part of the process to say goodbye. I am happy about the decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your attention and suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19337" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T09:55:40.127" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22526" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-13T13:47:18.310" Score="3" ViewCount="252" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3.5-year-old recently started school. He never shows willingness to learn anything from me, never colours with me or does tracing or learns poems. I just take down everything needed and sit with him for coloring. I play competition so that he works but it doesn't. I don't know if I'm making a wrong start but he never shows initiative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, he had a home task to identify how boats sail. We did it practical first, then I drew him a boat and asked him if he wanted to color. He says yes and started coloring. Two minutes later he gets distracted and starts talking lame, like mama your nail paint is looking good and such irrelevant talks... I feel so bad. I don't understand what's really going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to be harsh with him or force him to do unnecessary things. The matter is only of assignments. I don't want him to lag behind. I can't change the whole school system or scheme for him, I only can make him adopt to the situation. He is my only child, so it's tough to make him feel competing or to follow anyone's footsteps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do, as in the near future he will be given some home assignments?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19386" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-30T15:54:05.940" LastActivityDate="2019-03-30T15:54:05.940" Title="How to make my 3.5-year-old learn at home?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|motivation|homework|attention|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22521" CreationDate="2015-10-13T13:59:16.203" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a similarly tireless 21 month old and it can be hard to keep up with his endless energy. We also only have to take care of him on weekends as he is in daycare during the week. However I feel this time while he is small and wants to spend a lot of time with his parents will pass way too fast so when I find things a bit overwhelming I try to remind myself of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are pretty lucky in that he is quite good at entertaining himself. He does frequently look round for reassurance or approval but we don't need to be constantly interacting with him actively. Some of the things that he loves to do that he is happy to do by himself with occasional encouragement are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;puzzles - he has a range of easier and more difficult puzzles. If we want to get something done, we give him a puzzle that's easy enough to do by himself but not so easy that he does it too quickly and gets bored. If we have a bit of time to spare we do a more difficult one and help him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;our son also loves the type of duplo blocks with characters mentioned in the previous answer. He has a very simple set where he can make different animals that entertains him for a while. Also playmobil 123, and bristle blocks keep him amused for a long time. Anything like this where you can make a variety of things may be more interesting than just building a tower.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;play kitchen with pretend food, cups, plates, cooking equipment etc &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;drawing - he loves drawing and doesn't mind doing it by himself. Not sure how you can encourage your daughter to draw by herself but perhaps giving crayons and blank paper and allowing her to draw whatever she likes rather than setting any particular task will let her draw more independently &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;train sets. My toddler enjoys assembling train tracks and driving the trains around. You can get a small starter set and add to it if she enjoys it. He also likes other play transport items like cars, boats and tractors. Traditionally, these are more often seen as toys used by boys but I don't see why girls can't also enjoy them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;music - my toddler loves to listen to music - he likes nursery rhymes that he can recognise but he also enjoys the kind of music myself and my husband might listen to. He also likes to play music - banging a drum or xylophone or shaking bells or shakers.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that we find useful if we are trying to get something done and can't pay attention to his toys and playing is to get him to help out with chores. He will load the washing machine, help take things out, if I need to cook I sometimes stand him on a chair to watch (at a safe enough distance from any thing dangerous). He even likes watching the vacuuming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As your daughter likes playing outside, can you take her for a day out one day of the weekend? Somewhere that you can all find something to enjoy? When you take her outside, can you show her things in a supervised way, like flowers, insects etc. It may take some energy to find things but could be easier than chasing after her all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son rarely watches TV, maybe he's still a bit young to follow it but also he just doesn't like to sit still. But because he doesn't watch it much, it's more of a novelty and we can occasionally get him to sit in front of it for 15 mins or so when we need to do something that he can't be involved in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally when I really do need a break, I find it's good to meet up with friends or relatives. They are always happy to pay attention to my son while I might have a chance to have an adult chat and a cup of tea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-10-13T15:32:40.690" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T15:32:40.690" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22523" CreationDate="2015-10-13T16:38:20.133" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't feel too bad, I know &lt;em&gt;adults&lt;/em&gt; who behave like this: stew silently about their job until all they can do is rage-quit, stew silently about their marriage until they scream at their spouse, etc. The behavior has the detrimental effect on their lives you'd expect (which is why it's so great that you're identifying this early and trying to get a handle on it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be difficult to answer this definitively without more detail but it's definitely a communication-skills problem from the following (non-exhaustive) list:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He expects people around him to constantly query his internal state (you should be asking me if I'm ok, how I feel, etc.). You will need to work at getting him to understand that others have the same avalanche of thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities: sparing attention for others is an &lt;em&gt;effortful&lt;/em&gt; activity and the world does not revolve around him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He expects people to read his mind (if you &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; loved me you'd just know how I feel). This scenario is very similar to the first, with the same tack of convincing him of the unreasonableness of his expectations.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He believes that life is fair, and cannot handle evidence to the contrary as it challenges a core belief. Note that this one may seem very different from the two above, but is actually quite similar in an important way. It could be that he thinks the world is fair and it is the responsibility of authority figures (including parents and teachers) to enforce it. The problem is that the locus of control is still external (centered on authority figures).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, it's clear your son has (at least one) unreasonable expectation about how interpersonal communication works: you are going to have to model and encourage appropriate communications (especially if you notice a potential problem brewing). You will also have to reinforce that temper-tantrums are not appropriate, ever. Rage-quitting no matter what the provocation is unacceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just make sure that any punishment includes walking through the chain of poor decisions that led to explosion lest he resent it as more unwanted evidence of unfairness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-03T13:24:53.363" LastActivityDate="2019-04-03T13:24:53.363" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22529" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22536" CreationDate="2015-10-13T17:56:58.873" Score="9" ViewCount="1142" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two toddlers love to play together.  At bedtime, when we have them together for the quiet part of bedtime (pajamas, story, lullabies), they wind up bouncing off the walls.  And the bed, each other, us, etc.  This is okay at home, as they have separate bedrooms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're planning a trip for a few months from now, where the whole family will stay in one hotel room.  So our children will have to be able to fall asleep in the same room as each other, and as us.  Any suggestions for how we can prepare them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The older child sleeps in a bed (on a mattress actually, no box spring or bed frame to break under the jumping) and the other sleeps in a crib.  We will bring our own travel crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read most of the similar questions, and there's some good tips in those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7790" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T20:24:05.520" Title="Preparing toddlers to sleep in a hotel room" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|travel|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22530" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-13T18:29:28.267" Score="2" ViewCount="146" Body="&lt;p&gt;My granddaughter can tell you the sounds of each letter, but she can' seem to remember the names of the letters or remember her colors. She can't count to 10 either. She is 5 and will be 6 in March, but the school will not let her start kindergarten because of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is a bright child and well behaved. She loves watching Leap Frog DVDs with the letters and sounds. When you try to teach her, she seems to think it too hard; she either tries to do it her way or wants to go play, whatever will seem to work to get her out of it. One day she might know it but most of the time not. She has three older brothers, the oldest is turning 12 in February and she has a sister that is 2 months old. She wants to go to school like her brothers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there name for this, has any one else had this problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19388" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-13T19:02:14.207" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T15:59:53.617" Title="What could cause a child not be able to learn well?" Tags="|primary-schooler|learning|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22532" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22521" CreationDate="2015-10-13T18:43:15.543" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What does her daycare do? Surely they are not watching over your child specifically all day as they have other children to mind. Try doing some of the things that work there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T18:43:15.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22533" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22529" CreationDate="2015-10-13T18:45:21.637" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the bathroom is large enough to accommodate, I'd put the crib in the bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T18:45:21.637" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22333" CreationDate="2015-10-13T19:26:38.167" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you're posting this, I would assume that, since you last told him, that he has done it again. The response should then be to not let him help with the vacuuming anymore, at least until he's proven himself trustworthy and able to follow directions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, shop vacs (and any kind of vacuum, for that matter) ARE dangerous when used improperly. If the vacuum were to be turned on while the hose were in his mouth, he could very possibly suffocate from an inability to inhale. It is also possible to stretch/tear tissues in his mouth or even prolapse a portion of esophagus/stomach. The severity would depend a bit on the force of the vacuum but none should be taken lightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T19:26:38.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22529" CreationDate="2015-10-13T19:54:38.057" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One idea might be a &quot;practice&quot; run or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring the travel crib into a bedroom (either your own, or the older child's), and explain you're having a sleepover just like you will be on your vacation. Everybody needs to stay calmly in their own area (bed/crib), parents need to be soothing and gently encourage lying down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only will it help the kids learn what's expected on this different kind of bedtime, but it'll help you spot potential problems with the setup and brainstorm solutions. (Our toddler needed to have the travel crib oriented in such a way that a blanket blocked his view of the rest of the room, for example.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T19:54:38.057" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22529" CreationDate="2015-10-13T20:24:05.520" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the same worries about our kids.  Turns out that most of it was unfounded.  The exhaustion from the traveling, the new-situation effect, and the extra scrutiny from the parents being right there nipped most of the problems in the bud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On occasion, we've tried things like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Split parents up on separate beds, with one child each.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have children sleep with heads on opposite ends of the bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a child sleep in the closet, if it's a relatively roomy one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stay up later past their normal bedtime, so they can fall straight asleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plan for extra time to fall asleep, so you don't stress out if it takes a while.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Relax a little on the rules.  It's not the worst thing if they get a little scared at night and decide to snuggle together.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been known to temporarily rearrange furniture to better suit our needs, especially since we have a daughter who uses a wheelchair and they don't always leave sufficient room for her to get around easily.  Don't feel like you have to accept the room at face value.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T20:24:05.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22333" CreationDate="2015-10-13T20:54:53.637" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why can't you just tell him &quot;Do not put the vacuum cleaner in your mouth I use it to clean up kitty litter / dirt from outside / metal shavings / moldy ripped up cardboard / pump the sewer system.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't even have to be a safety issue. The hose is dirty and disgusting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And after telling him &quot;Do not do ______&quot; and he does it again, it is then a behavior issue and you can discipline him for not listening, it doesn't even matter what the original command was. He ignored you, so its time out / whatever you see fit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T20:54:53.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22540" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-13T22:32:52.713" Score="4" ViewCount="3702" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 17 now, I was always close with my mother, there was an immediate bond and we got along great, similar personalities, sense of humour, etc. My dad on the other hand was an alcoholic, he will always be even though he's not a heavy drinker anymore. When I was little I didn't know what this was so I loved him, then my mother would start telling me and my older brother horrible things about my father. They don't love each other you see. She stayed with him so we would have a financially secure childhood.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But she despises him, they can't be in the same room together without fighting, yes me and my brother have had enough money for some of life's little luxuries, but at what cost?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;My home is broken, my mother can tell you countless horrible things about anyone in our family, except me and my brother of course.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember, when I was little how she would make me laugh, I can still hear my laugh as a little boy, it's contagious, but now, now it's different. She still makes me laugh but I don't feel quite so, happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be due to the stress due to exams or my not knowing what I want to do in the future but I also feel a lack of an emotional connection with her, I feel less remorse after an argument, I'm less interested in her stories, i want to say I love her dearly, but I'm not entirely certain what the love a child has for a parent feels like. And you can't exactly google that.&#xA;I read online that it may be the developmental schism, but I don't know if that happens to someone my age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I've gotten older I've seen more of my mothers flaws, things that as a child you would call mummy's magic powers or something, you'd put it down to how mothers are. But I wonder if it's just her?&#xA;There are different rules to her that the rest of us, she can say how something we do is perceived negatively but we can not by any means do the same. She can use attitude with us first but the second we do it back we did it first and it's a nightmare. Then there's after an argument where I've supposedly done something wrong she gives me something, sort of passive aggressively, like she'll argue with me and then come into my room with something small like a toothbrush(new) and say 'I got this for you today because I saw your old one was just about done', and I can hear the venom in her voice and its shocking, when I do something 'wrong' she never wants to talk to me about it first, she just gets angry and it feels like she doesn't listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't wait to move out, rule free is one reason, another is to want to see a therapist, I want to know what's up with my mind cause I dunno if it's normal, and I don't feel comfortable asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't feel comfortable telling my mother a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She only discovered about my first 'girlfriend'(together for 5 months, not official, no sexual relations) when I was to emotionally destroy get to hide it, not for lack of trying though and the next week when I could hide it I did, I was only gonna tell her about them if we became official. And even then after a 'safe zone' of time cause a lot of relationships my mates have at my age end after 2 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't always trust her. I don't know if I love her, cause I'm not sure what that feels like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, if it helps I have also compiled a list of things as a parent I would do like her and another list of what I would do differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19391" LastEditorUserId="9886" LastEditDate="2015-10-15T10:29:22.113" LastActivityDate="2018-02-15T13:16:20.323" Title="I don't know if I love my parents" Tags="|relationships|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2018-02-15T15:33:30.043" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21460" CreationDate="2015-10-13T22:42:10.050" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, it's his way of not drawing attention whilst wanting attention. A parent is more likely to give attention to the child who is talking or playing rather that the child that is humming to themselves and seem content. When participating in a blended family a parent is probably trying to make sure everyone is happy therefore focuses on the child who seems the most distressed.&#xA;Additionally I find that when I feel pushed aside I do something to make that seem justified, do something that doesn't draw attention or is annoying so that when people don't pay me any attention it's because I don't want them to rather than they don't want to.&#xA;If your child is silent you talk to them, if they're doing something you talk to them however if they seem content, you leave them be.&#xA;He may be worried about his place in the new family, so he doesn't want to get to involved so he doesn't have to find out where it is, then if it's low down, it's not as bothersome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19391" LastActivityDate="2015-10-13T22:42:10.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22543" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-14T04:41:38.973" Score="14" ViewCount="1342" Body="&lt;p&gt;In 1979, Sweden became the first country in the world to ban spanking under all circumstances: at home; at school; in penal institutions; everywhere, full stop.  Since then, several dozen other countries have enacted similar laws.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have heard many casual remarks speculating about how these rules are affecting society.  Some people speculate that not allowing spanking allows children to grow into undisciplined maniacs and damages the character of society.  Some speculate that spanking was always harmful and that society is better off with these bans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that the question has been asked before about what studies say about spanking, and that the answer is that studies say that there are better alternatives to spanking. See: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1902/are-there-any-reputable-studies-on-spanking&quot;&gt;Are there any reputable studies on spanking?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to know if there are any reputable studies that specifically look at how societies that have banned spanking have become different from those that don't.  Examples of differences I would be interested in would be differences in crime rates, educational attainment, finance.  I would be particularly interested in Sweden considering that Sweden's spanking ban is old enough that children born under that policy are now old enough to be parents themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-20T12:08:12.410" LastActivityDate="2019-09-20T12:08:12.410" Title="Are there any studies showing how spanking bans have affected society since 1979?" Tags="|research|corporal-punishment|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22543" CreationDate="2015-10-14T08:56:49.750" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;There was a study carried out by Professor Joan Durrant, University of Ontario, looking at the Swedish smacking ban called &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.savethechildren.org.uk/sites/default/files/docs/A_GENERATION_WITHOUT_SMACKING.pdf&quot;&gt;A Generation Without Smacking&lt;/a&gt; [PDF], first published in 1999.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key findings:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Decline in public support for corporal punishment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Decline in smacking/slapping children as a form of punishment&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No deaths of children as a result of physical abuse during the 80's and only 4 in the 90's.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reports of assaults against children have increased (that is, people are more willing to report assaults)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Proportion of suspects prosecuted who are in their 20's (during the period studied) declined since 1984&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Majority of reports of assaults are primarily petty or common offences, hence children at risk are being identified before serious injury can occur.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Proportion of assaults that are legally pursued without trial has remained steady, while actual prosecutions have steadily declined, so parents have not been drawn into the criminal system for minor assaults.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There has been no increase in children being taken from their parents through intervention by social services. In fact, the trend has been the opposite. There has also been a decrease in compulsory measures of social work intervention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Overall rates of youth crime have remained steady.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Proportion of individuals convicted for theft has decreased for young offenders.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Proportion of suspects in the same age group involved in narcotics crimes has decreased, as has drug and alcohol intake, and suicide rates.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Alleged perpetrators of assaults against children aged 15 to 19 show a declining trend.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study does have its critics, who claim that the ban has had a negative impact on children and society.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.families-first.org.uk/art/sweden.pdf&quot;&gt;Sweden’s Smacking Ban: More Harm Than Good&lt;/a&gt;&quot; by Robert E. Larzelere, Associate Professor of Psychology at University of Nebraska Medical Centre claimed that the sources cited by Durrant came to the opposite conclusions drawn by her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some select quotes from the document:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Attitudes and practices about corporal punishment have changed very little since 1979&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;The best indicators of physical child abuse showed a 489% increase in physical child abuse cases classified as criminal assaults in Sweden from 1981-1994.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;The best evidence suggests that perpetration of criminal assaults  against  7-14  year-olds  is  increasing  most  rapidly  in  age groups raised after the law against smacking was passed.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Most of the evidence suggests that the large increase in assaults by minors and in physical child abuse is not entirely explained by changes in reporting mechanisms.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Durrant has responded to these accusations, attempting to refute each claim. See: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childrenareunbeatable.org.uk/the-case-for-reform/experience-of-countries.html&quot;&gt;http://www.childrenareunbeatable.org.uk/the-case-for-reform/experience-of-countries.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;In 2005 Durrant produced a 40-page booklet specifically refuting every one of Larzelere’s claims. She points out that reporting of child abuse rose but not abuse itself, in that there was no increase in reports of aggravated (i.e. more serious) assaults and that a study by the Swedish National Crime Prevention Council concluded the increase seen in reporting did not reflect a true increase in violence against children; that his claim about the numbers of children removed from home is based on a serious misreading of 1982 care figures, which in any event declined by 20% over the next decade and that reports of child on child assaults can be shown to have risen at the point when zero tolerance for school bullying was introduced, rising and falling in correlation with school terms and holidays.  She also challenged his objectivity on this issue in general.  Larzelere then posted a response to her refutation, but Durrant said she was tired of repeating herself and would not engage with him again.&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.researchgate.net/publication/237372529_Law_Reform_and_Corporal_Punishment_in_Sweden_Response_to_Robert_Larzelere_The_Christian_Institute_and_Families_First&quot;&gt;PDF of a rebuttal from Durrant&lt;/a&gt; (it's unclear if it's the same as the one cited above) is available. To quote from the executive summary:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;Larzelere suggests that his analysis of the Swedish situation is objective.  However: &#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;his position on corporal punishment is influenced by interpretations of Biblical scripture, a &#xA;position that could compromise his objectivity, &#xA;&lt;li&gt;his critique reveals a lack of knowledge of Sweden and law reform in that country, &#xA;&lt;li&gt;his conclusions are based on extremely limited sources of data, misuse of the data he does have, and non-validated assumptions about the Swedish system. &#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also an official Swedish government study looking at the ban called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.government.se/contentassets/6bfb214c582448b6ace4d32978361577/never-violence---thirty-years-on-from-swedens-abolition-of-corporal-punishment&quot;&gt;Never Violence: Thirty Years On From Sweden's Abolition of Corporal Punishment&lt;/a&gt; [PDF], which has a section entitled &quot;What has been the result?&quot; which covers quite a lot of similar ground as Durrant's work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7452" LastEditorUserId="7452" LastEditDate="2015-10-14T11:51:15.120" LastActivityDate="2015-10-14T11:51:15.120" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21648" CreationDate="2015-10-14T10:07:04.000" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3.5 year old does the same for very long. I tried every possible thing to make him eat, but he has his own pace of chewing and swallowing. The most likely reason for his behaviour that I find is that he has tonsillitis so maybe he finds it difficult to finish his bite quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19386" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-14T13:01:30.940" LastActivityDate="2015-10-14T13:01:30.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22546" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22547" CreationDate="2015-10-14T14:45:38.793" Score="55" ViewCount="21878" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a car seat installed for my baby girl. At the behest of my wife, we installed the car seat directly behind the driver, rather than behind the passenger. She claims that this is because the drivers side is safer, because in the event of a crash a driver will instinctively try to protect his side of the car e.g. by turning the car away from danger. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've researched online but the only relevant information I could find is that the safest option is in the middle of the back seat, because that's away from the windows &amp;amp; doors. I can't find anything comparing the driver v passenger location.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason that behind the driver's seat is a bit awkward is that it would be slightly more practical for me if the car seat was behind the passenger seat, so that I could access it without getting out of the car. Also I'm curious if that theory is indeed correct, or whether there's anything to contradict it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19397" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T19:05:40.890" Title="Is it safer to install a back seat car seat behind the driver or behind the passenger?" Tags="|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22547" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22546" CreationDate="2015-10-14T15:54:23.743" Score="85" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;center&lt;/em&gt; position is the safest for a car seat. Not only is that somewhat logical (regardless of what side the car is impacted, there's distance between impact and child), but it is supported by research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That same study also indicates there was no statistically significant difference in the injury risk between the two sides of the car, only between the center and side positions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Seating position distribution for child occupants was as follows: left&#xA;  outboard (31%), center (28%), and right outboard (41%)... Child&#xA;  occupants seated in the center had an injury risk 43% less than&#xA;  children seated in either of the rear outboard positions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The injury risk was 0.27%, 0.17%, and 0.29% in the left outboard, center, and right outboard positions, respectively. &lt;strong&gt;No statistically significant difference in injury risk was found between child occupants in the right and left outboard positions&lt;/strong&gt;; therefore, they were combined for additional analyses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt; Kallan et al. &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/121/5/e1342.full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Seating Patterns and Corresponding Risk of Injury Among 0- to 3-Year-Old Children in Child Safety Seats.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;em&gt;Pediatrics&lt;/em&gt;, Vol. 121 No. 5, 2008.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That appears to hold true regardless of age -- the middle rear seat is safest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The information from every fatal crash in the United States between&#xA;  2000 and 2003 was analyzed.... The data show that the rear middle seat&#xA;  is safer than any other occupant position when involved in a fatal&#xA;  crash. Overall, the rear (2(nd) row) seating positions have a 29.1%&#xA;  increased odds of survival over the first row seating positions ...&#xA;  occupants of the rear middle seat have a 13% increased chance of&#xA;  survival when involved in a crash with a fatality than occupants in&#xA;  other rear seats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Mayrose and Priya. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18786431&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The safest seat: effect of seating position&#xA;  on occupant mortality.&lt;/a&gt; Journal of Safety Research, Volume 39,&#xA;  Issue 4, 2008.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if the car seat &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; install in the center, then you have to choose a side. Crash statistics don't have much to say about this, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.childcarseats.org.uk/choosing-using/positioning-child-car-seats-in-cars/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this UK site indicates that the passenger side would be preferred&lt;/a&gt;, since you're then taking the child in and out on the sidewalk side (rather than standing in the roadway) when parallel parked. It also indicates that middle is safer in the event of a crash, but does not mention crash risks when choosing between two sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will also note that whether or not it's true that drivers instinctively veer to protect themselves, &lt;em&gt;that's only one type of potential crash&lt;/em&gt;. Head-on collisions are the most common, but you can be struck from anywhere -- and there isn't much that swerving can do to protect you from a side or rear impact. (Indeed, the numbers show that a driver-side impact is &lt;em&gt;slightly more&lt;/em&gt; likely than a passenger-side impact...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/PhRNL.gif&quot; alt=&quot;Average of crash data for the US over multiple years&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;NHTSA crash statistics (for all collisions, not just injuries or fatalities) were averaged over multiple years to come up with the numbers. Data, and graphic, are from crashtest.com, &lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20120201122139/http://www.crashtest.com/explanations/nhtsa/index.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;found via the Internet Wayback Machine&lt;/a&gt;. Note that this is for the US, so driver is seated on the left side of the car.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-15T12:12:00.027" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T12:12:00.027" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5232" CreationDate="2015-10-14T17:45:42.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used the Magic Sleepsuit as a transition from the swaddle and it really helped us get back to a good sleeping routine. We were up every hour or two and a friend recommended it to us.  It helped muffle her startles so she would fall back to sleep on her own.  We had the Fleece one and it kept her warm and cozy.  It is one of our favorite baby products!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19400" LastActivityDate="2015-10-14T17:45:42.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22550" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22494" CreationDate="2015-10-14T18:28:58.803" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've already got a lot of answers, but I think this is a really important topic and would like to chime in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can, I'd recommend you watch a movie called &quot;Fed Up&quot; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://fedupmovie.com/#/page/home&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://fedupmovie.com/#/page/home&lt;/a&gt;).  I saw it on Netflix, but it may be available streaming elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll try to summarize, but the bottom line is it's all about sugar and how it has transformed our nation.  I'll disclose that as proud member of the right-wing conspiracy I strongly disagree with most of the &lt;strong&gt;conclusions&lt;/strong&gt; of the documentary, most notably that the answer to sugar is that the government needs to jump in, take action and shut down the free market.  The film even admits that the government and its screwed up FDA guidelines are largely responsible for creating the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That aside, it's a worthwhile watch full of valuable take-aways with research to back up those claims:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sugar is bad&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's also everywhere, even in names we don't associate with &quot;sugar&quot; (ie Agave)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Things we eat that are not sugar may actually metabolize into sugar anyway&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Looking healthy (skinny) does not mean being healthy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Calories do not equal calories -- where those calories come from matters&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enough of that.  Now my personal observations.  I've said before, I'm the dad of many -- seven, to be exact, six of them boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can tell you for a fact that sugar impacts the entire life of a child.  Too much impacts their concentration, behavior, attitude and energy.  I try not to be a tyrant, but with sugar I definitely think a minimalist approach is best, and if they are eating normal food without supplemented sugar at all, I am extremely confident that they will be fine.  We know families who eat no sugar at all -- NONE.  They are healthy and happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also agree with some of the other comments -- that sugar is addictive.  Be careful of this.  The child's craving is very unlikely something the body needs; it's more likely what it wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a final note, you can train your taste buds -- I've done it.  Eat healthy long enough, and your body will learn to relish the taste of healthy food, and you'll be better off for it.  It's especially true for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19146" LastActivityDate="2015-10-14T18:28:58.803" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22546" CreationDate="2015-10-14T20:25:25.077" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did some research into this years ago which I can't easily get to right now.  I think I used the CDC statistics.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I found was that the position behind the driver's seat was slightly less safe because turns towards the drivers side cross traffic, whereas turns away from the driver's side don't cross as much traffic - but both types of turns, if impact occurs, result in an impact on the driver's side of the car with more frequency than on the passenger's side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, this means that turning left, you are crossing a lane of traffic that could impact the driver's side of the car (and then merging into traffic that could impact the right side or rear), but turning right you merge into traffic, which could result in a left side or rear impact from traffic you are merging into. Note that in both turns, left impacts can occur, but in right turns right impacts are much less likely. The situation is the same for countries where travel direction is different, because the driver's seat is swapped as well.  The position behind the driver's seat is still more exposed to impacts than the position behind the passenger's seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The statistics I did were not just for fatality, but included all injuries.  Most fatality surveys will emphasize head on collisions, and both sides will seem as safe as each other.  Once you include non-fatal injuries, though, and rank the injuries, you find that the driver's side position is slightly less safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the middle position is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;significantly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; safer than either side, and the difference between the two sides was small.  Side impacts occur much less frequently than front and rear impacts, and usually occur at much slower speeds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-10-14T20:25:25.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22371" CreationDate="2015-10-14T21:19:18.677" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The usual advice is to use the one-person-one-language rule. You speak exclusively your mother tongue to your child, your wife does the same. You have to act like you don't understand English or your child will catch on and switch to what ever their strongest language is, probably English, if you are in an English community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rely on the community to teach English, camps, daycare, babysitters, etc. If the community doesn't teach English (i.e. you aren't in an English speaking community), then decide on a protocol that you are comfortable with for when to use which-- for example, using English outside the house and your respective mother tongues at home, or what ever you can do consistently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't know what it takes to get kids to be fluent in multiple languages, we do know what consistently fails: speaking English with your wife, to your children, and in the community, while throwing in an occasional flavor word from the minority language (i.e. the non-community one). Your question was brief, but you have the seed of the outline of language extinction in your plan.  I grew up in the US, in the last 3 generations of my family upward of 12 languages died (weren't passed on to the next generation). Fighting language extinction takes, sometimes, the determination of an eccentric.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sources&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;7 Steps to Raising a Bilingual Child&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0814400469&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/7-Steps-Raising-Bilingual-Child/dp/0814400469/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1444857104&amp;amp;sr=8-1&amp;amp;keywords=raise+child+bilingual&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raising a Bilingual Child&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1400023343&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Bilingual-Child-Living-Language/dp/1400023343/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1444857104&amp;amp;sr=8-3&amp;amp;keywords=raise+child+bilingual&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2015-10-14T21:19:18.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22526" CreationDate="2015-10-15T06:12:23.567" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Home assignments have to be done whether your son is willing or not. You just have to have a firm hand when it comes to this. Make it clear that is is school work and non negotiable. &#xA;At the same time you can try and make it as enjoyable and interesting as possible-(with games,youtube videos, practical projects, excursions related to the topic) so that he develops a gradual liking to it and starts coming to you for help on his own.&#xA;Set aside time to do these assignments and once completed follow it up with a reward afterward like icecream and a movie perhaps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T06:12:23.567" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22546" CreationDate="2015-10-15T09:41:59.263" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ericas answer hits the nail on the head regarding accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An additional concern is forgetting baby in the car. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Add to all of that the fact that many of the children forgotten in cars are neither heard nor seen. Most of them have fallen asleep and are situated behind the driver in rear-facing car seats.&#xA;  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2012/july/wheres-the-baby-forgotten-in-the-hot-car/&quot;&gt;Baby forgotten in the car&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this is not the most scientific source for this tidbit I remembered reading some time ago, it seems to point that having baby behind the driver's seat contributes to this risk. Because behind the driver's seat baby is totally invisible to the driver and thus easier to forget compared to having baby in the passanger side (or maybe in the middle).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19407" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T09:41:59.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22546" CreationDate="2015-10-15T11:20:28.237" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Besides the safest position in the middle, it has additional benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is easier to interact with the baby in case of need&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is easier to monitor/ check on it in case of need&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your car has side airbags in the bag of the car, not every model can disable them in the back. In case of crash the airbag can do more damage than the crash itself (hence the safety warnings for the front seats for airbags + child seating)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a counter argument for your wife to protect the drivers side in case of a crash: Imagine your car is on frontal crash curs with another car. You are trying to avoid it which is steering to the right (vise versa in countries with left driving rule) since avoiding it to the left would mean that you go even more to the wrong side of the street. If you visualize now your car and the point of impact, it is more likely the front left/ back left side.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19408" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T11:20:28.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2015-10-15T12:52:25.807" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The swinging the head around thing is what brought me here. My 11 week old has been able to hold his head up for a while but gets his head rocking and rolling if I place him stomach to chest up higher. Maybe some form of strengthening ? The burrowing into my shoulder happens after I feed him and he's trying to burp and is angry about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19411" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T12:52:25.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22481" CreationDate="2015-10-15T14:46:44.520" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;After a bit of Googling I found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/science-says-excessive-crying-could-be-harmful&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this Ask Dr. Sears article&lt;/a&gt; which talks about many studies that have been done related to the effects of crying on infants.  I'll just try to sum it up here.  Possible effects include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chemical and hormonal imbalances in the brain - growth hormone problems, changes in the brain similar to people with depression, possible ADHD, aggression, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Decreased intellectual, emotional, and social development - lower IQ, problems controlling emotions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Harmful physiologic changes - problems sleeping, heart arrhythmia, blood pressure problems, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that sounds pretty horrible.  However, almost every claim (and the article itself) was prefaced with (emphasis mine)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Science tells us that when babies &lt;strong&gt;cry alone and unattended&lt;/strong&gt;, they&#xA;  experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with&#xA;  adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. [...] Is it therefore&#xA;  possible that infants who endure &lt;strong&gt;many nights or weeks of&#xA;  crying-it-out alone&lt;/strong&gt; are actually suffering harmful neurological&#xA;  effects [...]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It appears that it is connected to stress and not having the attention of a loving caregiver causes the most harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm no medical professional, but as long as you are trying to comfort and help your baby, you are doing the right thing.  You are reducing the stress that they experience and any effects from that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as a side note, as a species our babies have been crying (at least a little bit) for thousands of years.  And most of us turned out ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-15T15:07:53.143" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T15:07:53.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22546" CreationDate="2015-10-15T21:02:43.883" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let's stipulate that the baby is not inherently safer in the event of a collision by being on any particular side of the car, which has been supported by other answers, and that the car doesn't support the car-seat being in the middle. Then &lt;strong&gt;it is safer for her to be on the opposite side from the driver&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To see why, consider the case where there is a collision on the baby's side of the car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that case, it is better for everyone&amp;mdash;both the driver &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; the baby&amp;mdash;that the driver be safe. Obviously it's better for the driver. It is better for the baby, too, because the driver will be available to help revive her, remove her from the scene, or call an ambulance. If the driver were on the same side, she would be more likely to be injured herself and therefore not available to assist the baby. In fact, if the baby does survive, she may grow up with only one parent, or with one of her parent's needing constant medical care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19414" LastActivityDate="2015-10-15T21:02:43.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22562" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-16T03:58:09.583" Score="2" ViewCount="714" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a family that I have known for over 5 years.  We have very different views on parenting, discipline, child rearing, etc.  But one practice of this family (that I thought to be interesting) is that, about 1 month after each of their sons were born, they would pierce their son's left ear.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normally, I would write this off as something unique to these particular parents, except there is no central motivating reason for the parents (i.e. neither of the parents have any piercings).  Also, I recently encountered another family who seems to have the same practice of piercing their sons' left ears when they are about a month old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not having seen this before and knowing that this is not a common practice among parents, I just want to learn more.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Are there reasons (other than preference) for parents to do this?  Or is this just a new fad that is on the rise?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16862" LastActivityDate="2016-12-30T20:38:31.667" Title="Reasons for parents to pierce their son's left ear" Tags="|newborn|parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22037" CreationDate="2015-10-16T09:32:06.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a number of options you could try, I'm sure you must have tried some of these already but here goes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Extend the bedtime to 9 p.m.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ensure that she has some physical activity in the evening i.e. tire her out a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does she nap in the afternoon? If so then perhaps reduce the amount of nap time or stop it all together depending on what she's comfortable with.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Environmental factors: Is it something in the room that's bothering her? Try changing things up a bit.. different pillows/bed position/night light/comforter/room temperature etc. Try letting her sleep in a different room or a night or two. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lastly if this is a recent occurrence there could be something bothering her which causes her to stay awake. Probe a bit and see if there is something you can help with? A class at school which she dreads, an after school activity she is not looking forward to (if this happens only on some days of the week).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6503" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T09:32:06.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22524" CreationDate="2015-10-16T09:56:48.497" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several things that you could consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do other parents feel the same as you do? How many other? Are you a majority? Or even a significant minority? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do all the children get the same treatment? Are they all expected to colour at that age? If it was possible, would you &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; want your child be the only one not doing something? Won't that have negative effects on her - like feeling that she can not listen to her caretaker and not follow instructions?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would you rather there was no homework at all? What age would you consider a good age to start getting homework? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is the fact that the teacher holding your daughter's hand and thus forcing her to do something, or just that she &lt;em&gt;has to&lt;/em&gt; do do it at all?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now to answer your question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do I need to deal with that teacher about her holding the hand of the&#xA;  child and making her colour?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You might &lt;em&gt;want to&lt;/em&gt;, but you don't &lt;em&gt;have to&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Your daughter is not in danger of harm, is not abused in any way, even though what the teacher does is, in my opinion, bad and unnecessary. Consider the consequences of dealing and not dealing with her, and then make a decision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I would not intervene further for now, and await how the situation develops&lt;/strong&gt;. Mostly because of how bad parent-teacher relation might negatively affect the child. If the teacher dislikes the parent, she may even treat the child worse than other children. She shouldn't, but it's possible. And, apparently, you have little power over the teacher, so it seems likely that you won't achieve your goal &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; will anger the teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that between the possibilities of disliking coloring and being left out and alienated by the teacher, the first option is better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-10-16T12:49:28.460" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T12:49:28.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22524" CreationDate="2015-10-16T10:00:29.510" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you try to have a real conversation with her(more than 2 minutes)? Explain your opinion and listen her answer. Try to understand each other&#xA;If you can't change playschool and can't make the teacher understand your opinion I think you will have to deal with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19412" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T10:00:29.510" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22524" CreationDate="2015-10-16T10:00:44.140" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do I need to deal with that teacher about her holding the hand of the child and making her colour? If yes, how? If no, why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let's assume that you do not confront the teacher,&lt;/strong&gt; which is the default state at this moment in time. The likeliest outcome would be that the teacher continues to hold your daughter's hand for a couple weeks. No doubt there are other students in the class, and the teacher will not continue the hand holding indefinitely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So then, what would be the impact on your daughter&lt;/strong&gt; of having her hand held while coloring for a couple weeks? You know your daughter best, but most likely, it will have very little impact on her emotional intelligence, artistic abilities, independence, etc. &#xA;Obviously, you don't need to follow the teacher's request that you do the same at home. By letting your daughter color freely at home, it might counterbalance the domineering effect of the teacher during school time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Now, for argument's sake, let's assume you do confront the teacher.&lt;/strong&gt; From what you've said about the teacher, it sounds like she is very set in her belief that this is the best way to teach kids how to color. Although you disagree, even if you provide her with tons of research, studies showing that we should let children color in their own way in their own time, etc., it's unlikely that she will change her mind. The outcome would likely be the same, and there is some chance that she will focus her attention &lt;em&gt;even more&lt;/em&gt; on it if you make it a big issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What would be the impact on your daughter?&lt;/strong&gt; There is a small chance the teacher will change her behavior and your daughter will be given the opportunity to color how she wishes and fill in the big spaces if/when she wants to. In my opinion/experience there is a bigger chance the teacher will continue to hold her hand anyway, and might even do it for longer since it will be brought to her mind more as an opportunity where she can show you or prove to you that she is right!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were my daughter, I would let it go, and not confront the teacher. I'd save my confrontations for bigger problems if needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T10:00:44.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22570" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-16T12:27:09.900" Score="4" ViewCount="3352" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm really not sure what to think about my son meaning, about 5 different times in the past 2 years or so I found him texting to other boys acting as a girl and this goes on for a long time.. With some deep conversation.. My son is now 17.. I'm just trying to figure out what's happening with him, I have been there for him and I ask, but he says nothing.. I need help.. I love my son no matter what..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19420" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-16T19:22:59.200" LastActivityDate="2017-05-21T01:33:30.137" Title="My son is texting to other boys acting as a girl" Tags="|teen|relationships|gender|sexual-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22570" CreationDate="2015-10-16T12:58:45.743" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember when I was around 15-16 yo there were a lot of people my age creating fake accounts and chatting to friends while pretending to be a stranger, and attempting to get some private information from them. It was attempted on me, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it's the same situation, but it got out of hand? The phase should've ended, but it didn't? And it escalated, since using a phone for such things is kind of... creepy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect he's homosexual, check his computer. Find &lt;em&gt;the porn folder&lt;/em&gt; and see what's in there. If there's none, or it's too well hidden, try to enable url logging on your home router and see which kind of porn he watches online. It'll give you the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, in my opinion deceiving other people like that is not a thing a nearly grown man should do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A word of explanation after reading the comments: I don't actually care whether he's homo or heterosexual. I am worried that he is deceiving other people for his own personal gains. &lt;strong&gt;Discovering that he's LGBT would be the calming, good outcome&lt;/strong&gt;, not the other way around. Imagine, he may be breaking the law!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-10-16T19:47:39.543" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T19:47:39.543" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22546" CreationDate="2015-10-16T13:41:29.887" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please remember that unless your child is 5+ years old, it is &lt;strong&gt;absolutely imperative&lt;/strong&gt; that the seat be facing rearwards, which means that it might be tricky/hard/impossible to place it in the middle seat. Also, if you do manage to place it there, you will have effectively removed any possibility of interacting with the child (even visually). Place the seat, rearward facing, behind the passenger seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.folksam.se/resurser/pdf/Folksam_Fara_br_forsk.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.folksam.se/resurser/pdf/Folksam_Fara_br_forsk.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.besafe.com/en/rear-facing-5-x-safer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.besafe.com/en/rear-facing-5-x-safer&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The PDF is in Swedish but might be possible to translate? Contains a lot of very useful information. Basically, all evidence points to the fact that placing your child in a rear-facing seat greatly reduces the risk of death or injury. 8% of Swedish children involved in accidents need hospital treatment; in Germany that number is 40%. The only difference is that we keep our kids rear-facing for as long as possible, whereas Germans tend to turn them around much sooner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19424" LastEditorUserId="19424" LastEditDate="2015-10-16T19:05:40.890" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T19:05:40.890" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22570" CreationDate="2015-10-16T14:34:47.110" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several different explanations for this behavior:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He has transexual tendencies he is exploring. This doesn't necessarily mean he is transexual. Confusion about ones sexual- and gender identity is normal in that age.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's an attempt to see dating from &quot;the other side&quot; to better understand the female psyche and how other boys try to woo girls. The goal is to become better at dating girls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's just a game to see if he can fool people into believing he is a girl. This is a completely non-sexual past-time activity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is a sexual game, but he might fantasize more about the female character he created, not about the boys who flirt with her. Don't think about it too much: the sexual fantasies of juvenile boys are versatile.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can not tell you which one it is. There is just one person who can, and that's your son. But when he doesn't tell you, then either you've created an atmosphere where he is afraid of talking about the topic (don't feel bad about it: very few people can comfortably talk with their parents about their sexuality), or he doesn't know himself yet. Give him time to find out his gender and sexual orientation on his own and don't pressure him. When he figures it out and feels like comming out to you as transexual and/or gay, that's his decision, not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4659" LastEditorUserId="4659" LastEditDate="2015-10-16T16:11:25.210" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T16:11:25.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22576" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-16T15:45:06.413" Score="3" ViewCount="1041" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend's estimated delivery date is 23 Feb 2016. Our last intercourse was on 7 May 2015. I checked with some expected conception date calculators on the net. They all say that the conception date is between 25 May to 5 Jun. But my girlfriend insists that it's my child. Please can someone tell me if it is possible that intercourse on 7 May 2015 could have an expected delivery date of 23 Feb 2016?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19427" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2015-10-16T17:03:37.420" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T19:59:38.933" Title="Estimated Date of Conception" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22526" CreationDate="2015-10-16T17:52:43.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids who have some sense of reason will always have a desire to exert some control over some area of their life.  Especially at this age, they don't realize they want it or are doing it, but they have a drive, however small, toward some independence and &lt;strong&gt;control&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In many kids this manifests itself in diet.  They will refuse to eat certain things and mysteriously eat the same thing a day later, happily.  My second child did this as a toddler, and it drove us nuts (I'm happy to report he's a fine young man today, 16 years old, and eats everything in sight).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bottom line is you may have to pick your battles.  This may be an area where your child wants to exert his control, and you may have to ask yourself if the battle worth taking away what little individuality he feels he has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, I think between the ages of 0 and 5, you need to give kids a lot of slack.  Strongly guide their language, their behavior, their health and safety, but for the little things where you want them to see life more like you do, you do them and yourself a favor by easing up.  You may be surprised at what fine people they grow into.  My father always told me that what kids need most is to be loved, and with sufficient love they will survive countless parental mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you didn't mention this, but avoid the temptation to compare one child to another.  His older sibling did XYZ at this age...  throw all of that out of the window and understand that each child will find his own way in life given love and the right guidance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19146" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T17:52:43.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22579" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-16T18:28:50.670" Score="1" ViewCount="234" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3.5 year old has the habit of thumb sucking since he was an infant. Is it OK if he keeps the habit or is it bad for him in any way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19386" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-16T20:11:43.307" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T00:06:08.993" Title="Is thumbsucking bad for a toddler?" Tags="|pre-schooler|health|habits|thumb-sucking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22576" CreationDate="2015-10-16T19:17:29.863" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looks like the mean and standard deviation for gestation are around 280 days and 13 days respectively. Based on the dates you listed, that would put gestation somewhere around 292 days (probably a day or so less as conception is not immediate.) This is less than one standard deviation from the mean. About 16% of pregnancies last longer than the dates you gave. Seems entirely within the realm of possibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T19:17:29.863" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22579" CreationDate="2015-10-16T19:20:14.857" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can cause teeth to move in the wrong directions as they grow in, so in that respect I would say it needs to stop by the time permanent teeth start coming in or you may be looking at some pretty good dental expenses (braces). Aside from that, the biggest concerns would be getting teased for it once he starts pre-K or Kindergarten and chapping on his thumb from constantly being in a moist environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T19:20:14.857" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22576" CreationDate="2015-10-16T19:59:38.933" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally, due date is calculated by one of two things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One, determining the date of the expectant mother's period prior to likely conception.  If she knows what days her period started on for the last several periods, this will tend to be fairly accurate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two, looking at the size of the fetus (and more specifically, certain particular sizes, such as the length, the head circumference, etc.), and estimating how long it has been gestating for, as well as identifying certain fetal characteristics that happen at certain fairly consistent times.  This has varying levels of accuracy depending on when it's used; it tends to get less accurate in the third trimester, but even then the 95% range is 2-3 weeks for most common measurements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.glowm.com/section_view/heading/Assessment%20of%20Gestational%20Age%20by%20Ultrasound/item/206&quot;&gt;The article &quot;Assessment of Gestational Age by Ultrasound&quot; (MacGregor and Sabbagha, 2008)&lt;/a&gt; gives a pretty thorough overview of pre-ultrasound and ultrasound-based measurement techniques, and how accurate they are.  In the 12-26 week period (where she would probably have been at the time, and is now), most of the measurements are less than 2 weeks off 95% of the time, and crown-rump length is off by less than a week 95% of the time.  Combine several measurements, as they do later in that paper linked above, and the usual error is only a few days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A side note: None of this should be taken to prove or disprove paternity, as has been noted elsewhere.  95% intervals are just that, 95% likelihood; and this all assumes the doctor and/or tech performing the ultrasound and interpreting it didn't make a mistake.  If you're concerned about paternity specifically, there are far more accurate ways of verifying that once the child is born (via genetic testing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-10-16T19:59:38.933" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22583" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22584" CreationDate="2015-10-16T21:06:03.177" Score="4" ViewCount="821" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old daughter played with another parent and his son (around 3) at the playground. They started jumping on the dad's thighs as he was sitting on the ground, so the play was physical for a short time. I paid close attention when to cut the game short, but it was all innocent. I was also surprised, as I have not seen such openness from my daughter towards an unknown adult previously.&#xA;At home we discussed with mom that next time I should tell my daughter to play with kids her age. This course seems to be the best way of handling such situations. Is it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somewhat related question: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8064/is-it-allowed-to-play-with-unfamiliar-child&quot;&gt;Is it allowed to play with unfamiliar child?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7267" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T12:05:58.790" Title="Should I allow my preschooler to play with other parents at the playground?" Tags="|pre-schooler|parents|play|abuse|playground|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22583" CreationDate="2015-10-16T22:14:28.637" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on the additional information provided in the comments and to paraphrase the question: You are concerned that an unknown male parent in a public park and with their own child of a similar age might abduct/harm your child from right under your nose while you are watching them play a game that has no inappropriate content whatsoever.  All this while presumably there are also other children and parents around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is natural to be concerned about the welfare of your child there is a point at which such concerns and worries leave the bounds of rational behaviour and decision making.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the way you've described the situation and your reaction in comments I have good reason to believe that this may be the case and it is something that you need to seek support, possibly from a professional about learning how to manage.  If you don't then there is a genuine consequence that your child will become so risk averse that their ability to get on in later life will be severely affected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Evidence shows that the majority of the kind of attacks on children you're most concerned about come from people well known to the victim and their family (Nearly 72% according to &lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20080413214156/http://www2.state.id.us/ag/sexual_prosecution_reports/2007IdahoProsecutionOfChildSexualAbuseReport.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;one study of cases in 2006/7&lt;/a&gt;) - precisely the people you've known for years who you feel you can trust.  Such incidents take place quietly and behind closed doors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life is about risk and reward; you need to start working out better ways to weigh up the two.  Right now you're so wrapped up in your little princess that you think you can protect her from everything, and that's being a caring parent.  There comes a time when being a 'caring parent' means that you will cause long-term developmental issues for your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless there is a specific risk backed up with evidence then you have overreacted massively by trying to teach your child to avoid other children's parents.  In the case of a &quot;known&quot; risk (even if you do not know their identity) then steps to mitigate/reduce that are often very different anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2016-03-14T12:05:58.790" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T12:05:58.790" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22586" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-17T01:44:23.297" Score="1" ViewCount="157" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 y.o has been potty trained for 3 months. Recently he changed a daycare and started to pee on the floor just for fun. I tried to educate him, but it's only getting worse. If I undress him, he can pee several drops, run to another corner, pee a bit more, and so on. He still poops on the potty.&#xA;That started 3 weeks ago, he's wearing pullups since then. Any advices how to handle it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17403" LastEditorUserId="17403" LastEditDate="2015-10-18T00:26:14.080" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T02:41:34.350" Title="Two years old potty regression" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22540" CreationDate="2015-10-17T07:17:38.970" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are at an age of transition, and transitions are difficult for most of us because they require our relationships to change. As you become an adult, you need your parents to treat you differently than when you were a kid. This can be really difficult for all of you. This is normally a stressful time with confused feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's love (the feeling) and love (the verb). You may not be feeling love right now, because your folks are not behaving in an exemplary manner, but you can still choose to love them - to consider what is in their best interest, to act accordingly with a kind heart. Give yourself space to become an adult, don't worry so much about labeling your feelings, and be kind to yourself as you practice kind regard for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best wishes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2015-10-17T07:17:38.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22588" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22593" CreationDate="2015-10-17T12:14:03.107" Score="8" ViewCount="1391" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if this is the best place to ask and I suppose this is going to be an outlet for my frustration, but I could also do with some advice from people that may have been in the same situation&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is 4 years old and has always been a quick learner - he was walking and saying words a few months old and now at 4 years old he's a lot further ahead than some other children of his age. He is not a genius, but he's certainly  very gifted when it comes to learning through observation and retaining knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's just started primary school after attending nursery at that very school for a year. At the end of the nursery year the workers praised his speech, knowledge, behaviour and reliability and said that he was hitting targets that they would expect at the end of his 1st year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that he's moved into 1st year, his new teacher has started giving him books with no words (where he must describe what's happening in the pictures) and is saying that he must learn phonetics by the end of the school year (we are only a few weeks in at the moment). They are also teaching them how to write letters and numbers and how to count...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would be great were it not for this tiny detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My son can read, write and count already and has been doing so for over a year and a half.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now let me just clarify:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is not completely fluent with more difficult words and has to take a moment to absorb them (e.g. Roald Dahl books he can struggle with but kids books he hasn't much of a problem with)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His writing is not perfect, he does need to work on it. The letters are all well formed and correctly oriented but they don't always sit on the line and he occasionally starts letters from the bottom rather than the top.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he is definitely much further ahead than some of the other children and often complains that he's bored at school or that school is &amp;quot;too long&amp;quot;. We all know that days drag when you are bored and fly when you are occupied, so I can only conclude that he is not being challenged.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They want him to learn around 30 phonetic sounds and also learn some other &amp;quot;tricky&amp;quot; words such as &amp;quot;to&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;the&amp;quot; by the end of the school year. He can read these words with no problem and he can also spell them (and much more difficult ones) using &lt;em&gt;letters&lt;/em&gt; - not sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been in numerous times to argue the point that he needs more challenging&#xA;work, to which we are always given the same answer &amp;quot;he is being challenged&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't agree - he tells me they are learning to write numbers at the moment. He's been doing that for more than a year (and they are all formed correctly with the correct orientation)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The teacher also let slip at parents evening that they ask my son to help the other children when he's finished his work...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last time I checked he wasn't getting paid a part time teaching assistants wage, I'd rather they gave him additional work...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(interestingly the teacher denied making that statement the next time we met - categorically denied it yet both myself and my wife were present)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife made a point that I disagreed with. She was of the opinion that it's the schools duty to push and challenge my child. I'm of the opinion that it's quite the opposite: they don't really care about individuals - as long as they can show that X number of children achieved a certain standard their job is done, if that means leaving the bright ones to their own thing whilst the others catch up, then so be it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;i.e. It's completely up to the teacher to have the passion and drive to deliver what my child requires at school above and beyond what the government require.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are the school taking me for a ride? Does the teacher really just not care?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd love to know if anyone else is experiencing the same problem and how they are dealing with/have dealt with it in the past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apologies to anyone who read this before my update but this was resolved not long after - I probably should have put this as part of my answer and it's been a few years since (he's 9 now!). My original comments are below for reference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, turns out they just needed more time to assess him! Not sure&#xA;what was going on in the prior weeks but they have just assessed him&#xA;for his current year, then assessed him for next year and he's where&#xA;he should be at for nearing the end of next years school term (in his&#xA;reading anyway - they have yet to assess his maths and some other&#xA;subjects). We ended up going up to the top level of reading books he&#xA;can get and a shedload of extra stuff coming home with him and he is&#xA;finally excited to go to school! The wife feels much less stressed now&#xA;:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3319" LastEditorUserId="3319" LastEditDate="2020-07-31T17:04:50.567" LastActivityDate="2020-07-31T17:04:50.567" Title="Is my son's school ignoring his intelligence?" Tags="|primary-schooler|development|teaching|gifted|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22588" CreationDate="2015-10-17T13:27:59.633" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'd love to know if anyone else is experiencing the same problem and how they are dealing with/have dealt with it in the past.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The organization &quot;Mensa&quot; has a lot of people experiencing the same problem who have dealt with it with varying degrees of success.  They have some resources &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.us.mensa.org/learn/gifted-youth/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;listed here&lt;/a&gt; (see esp. under &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.us.mensa.org/learn/gifted-youth/parentteacher-resources/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Parent/Teacher resources&lt;/a&gt; and they have an e-list) and they have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mensafoundation.org/what-we-do/education-and-outreach/gifted-youth/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Foundation that does work&lt;/a&gt; on this topic.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Extracurricular challenges may be your best bet, including challenges you can supplement with at home.  Check out programs like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.destinationimagination.org/get-involved/parents&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Destination Imagination&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.destinationimagination.org/challenge-program/age-grade-requirements&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;now&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.usfirst.org/roboticsprograms&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;FIRST&lt;/a&gt; in a couple years if you want the programs to be more social.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Are the school taking me for a ride? Does the teacher really just not care?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school is probably judged more for what it does to help its worst performing students, not its best performing students.  Your son is going to help the school's rating on any standardized test/evaluation, without any further attention or assistance from the school.  What's their incentive to help him actually be challenged in a way that's going to engage and educate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17680" LastActivityDate="2015-10-17T13:27:59.633" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22590" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-17T14:49:20.207" Score="4" ViewCount="422" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've talked to your doctor about this already and he thinks it is just our child's imagination and not to worry, and in fact I'm not really worried for my boy's health, I'm more curious about how to react, to communicate that I'm taking him seriously, and also because his sister will then often also suddenly 'get' tummy-ache in sympathy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will sit down to breakfast and eat a bowl of porridge, or a boiled egg, or toast, or cereal (doesn't make any difference what) and then after 20 minutes or so I guess he will say he has tummy-ache. 15 mins later and it's gone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can rub his tummy for him, or give him a warm hot-water bottle and it seems to help. Sometimes I just say he should finish off what he's eating or have a drink of water or something and it will make it go away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't cry or really look in pain, except a couple of times when he has held his stomach and leant forwards. This is why I don't think he's faking it, and anyway when he tries to trick us, he is much more obvious than that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't get tummy-ache at lunch or at dinner though. Just breakfast. Every time! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it's not just with me either - he'll tell his mum when she makes him breakfast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask him where it hurts and it's always his tummy, high up. I know when I eat spaghetti (bizarrely not any other pasta) it sometimes give me quite painful stomach ache, which goes quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to do something rather than ignore it and hope it goes away, but it's quite puzzling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19222" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-17T15:44:00.433" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T04:30:11.430" Title="3 year-old boy always says he has tummy-ache for 5 mins after breakfast" Tags="|pre-schooler|eating|communication|pain|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22588" CreationDate="2015-10-17T18:33:56.757" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a parent governor in a UK primary school, with a daughter just started reception and another daughter higher up the school, who was reading before she started reception (so I've been in a similar situation). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been a school governor for about 4 years so I have a pretty good idea how British primary schools work. We're in England; from your profile it looks as though you are too, but if you (or future readers) are in Scotland / Wales / Northern Ireland then beware as I believe there are some differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to talk about a mixture of two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Practical steps - what you can do&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Attitude - productive/unproductive ways to treat the teaching staff&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Practical steps&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your child's class teacher. It sounds like you've done that, but you want to make sure it's a pre-planned meeting with enough time to talk properly, not just a quick word in the playground - so if you haven't had a 'proper meeting' (at least 20 or 30 minutes to discuss properly, not just 5 minutes at parents' evening) then arrange one.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't get you anywhere, talk to the head teacher or (depending on the size of the school) a member of the senior leadership team such as the assistant head for Early Years. Again this should be a pre-scheduled meeting with enough time to talk properly, not just a quick word in the playground. You could also ask to talk to the member of teaching staff who looks after '&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/teacher-blog/2012/may/09/teaching-gifted-and-talented-pupils&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;gifted&lt;/a&gt;' or 'high learning potential' children.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Still no results? Write to the Chair of Governors. Politely explain that you're not happy your child is being adequately stretched. Expect them to take a few months to reply - expect a formal letter in reply. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-school&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;complain to OFSTED&lt;/a&gt;  if you're still unhappy, although at this point your relationship with the school might have broken down so badly that you'd have taken your child out of the school already. &lt;a href=&quot;https://schoolgovernors.thekeysupport.com/school-improvement-and-strategy/inspection-evaluation/before-during-after-inspection/formal-complaints-implications-for-ofsted-reports#section-4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Parent complaints to OFSTED can trigger a school inspection&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the school really is not catering for your son's ability, you have &lt;em&gt;politely&lt;/em&gt; and clearly talked to the school's management, and they have no plan to improve (e.g. by putting him up a year), then you will need to consider taking him out of the school. You could home-educate, or you'd need to find a way to get him to/from another local school. I notice that you work full-time, but options might include a childminder, a friend with children at the same school, a flexible working pattern, wrap-around care at the school (i.e. breakfast club / after-school club)... feel free to add a follow-up question on this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Approaches&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give them time&lt;/strong&gt;: We're right at the start of the school year and teachers all over the country are still getting to know the individual children in their class. Your son may have been mis-assessed at a lower level than he actually is - it would be reasonable for you to ask for him to be re-assessed on reading / writing / numeracy. All of this takes time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't assume the worst of teachers&lt;/strong&gt;: If you treat teachers as the enemy then this will hamper all your efforts to get the best for your son. Much better to treat them as the dedicated professionals which the vast majority of them are. I realise this may be a difficult issue for you to face, but the way you've phrased your question suggests a degree of hostility from you towards the teaching staff - it seems very early in your son's school career for this to have built up already, so I'm wondering if it's related to your own unhappy experiences at school - in which case it's something to deal with, but not something to take out on your son's teachers. Examples of things you're written that I'm inclined to find unduly hostile / assuming the worst of the teaching staff:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;saying that he must learn phonetics by the end of the school year&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; - it's actually 'phonics', and they're not doing this for any reason specific to your child - they're doing it because the National Curriculum says that's what they must do in Reception. It's a legal requirement (one which in fact many teachers disagree with, but can't say so publicly).  Also (and this is a somewhat contentious area within education circles, so I'm going to skate over it a bit) just because he already knows how to write lots of words doesn't mean that phonics won't be beneficial for him - learning phonics in Reception can be helpful for spelling in the older years. Anyway, it's a contentious topic, but not one that's specific to your child, or that the teaching staff have any choice about. They're not doing it to be awkward.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;The teacher also let slip at parents evening that they ask my son to help the other children when he's finished his work... / Last time I checked he wasn't getting paid a part time teaching assistants wage...&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; - the teacher '&lt;em&gt;let slip&lt;/em&gt;' that your son was working in mixed-ability groups where children are expected to work together? That's normal, and it's beneficial to him. Suggesting that he's the equivalent of an adult teaching assistant indicates either an insultingly low opinion of the teaching staff or a grandiose idea of your 4-year-old's abilities (however gifted he is). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;these people are colleagues and for all we know could be good friends&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; - one would hope that as colleagues they are friendly to each other, but that's no reason to suppose that the head would conspire with the class teacher to cover-up poor performance, and it's kind of insulting to both of them to suggest that this might happen, and in the absence of any evidence that it's taking place, seems really unnecessary as a first thought so very early in your son's school career. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;they don't really care about individuals - as long as they can show that X number of children achieved a certain standard their job is done&quot;&lt;/strong&gt; - No. Schools are assessed on a wide variety of criteria, but it's absolutely not the case that so long as everyone meets a minimum standard the school's job is considered 'done'. One of the key metrics of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.gov.uk/schools/performance/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;school performance&lt;/a&gt; is 'progress' i.e. how much value has the school &lt;em&gt;added&lt;/em&gt; to how the child was doing when they started there. See the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.gov.uk/schools/performance/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;DfE performance tables&lt;/a&gt; for more info.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find out more about the school curriculum&lt;/strong&gt; - it's just helpful to know about when you're talking with the teachers. The more you know about it, the more informed and constructive your criticism is likely to be. Apart from actual knowledge of what the curriculum consists of, the British education system has a lot of jargon which takes a while to master. Many schools have parent workshops where you can find out more about aspects of the curriculum - if your school doesn't then ask it here as another question and we can get into some detail about online resources.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Look at what you can add outside school&lt;/strong&gt; - enrichment activities. See the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nagc.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;National Association for Gifted Children&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.potentialplusuk.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Potential Plus&lt;/a&gt; for help.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Think about a wider context than just academic achievement&lt;/strong&gt; - ok, so academically he doesn't have much to learn from Reception, but how about socially? emotionally? physically? If he's not intellectually stretched during Reception then that might give him more time, mental and emotional resources to progress in terms of emotional and social growth. It's worth talking with your partner and doing some thinking about how he compares to his peers in terms other than the strictly academic/intellectual - there is more to school than just the actual 'work', particularly in the very early years.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What your 4-year-old tells you happened at school isn't the whole of what happened at school&lt;/strong&gt; - e.g. see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22475/how-can-a-parent-encourage-their-child-to-talk-more-about-what-they-did-at-schoo&quot;&gt;How can a parent encourage their child to talk more about what they did at school?&lt;/a&gt; The standard reply for a child (particularly as 4-year-old) being asked what happened at school is &quot;&lt;em&gt;nothing&lt;/em&gt;&quot;. Being able to summarise their day is a learned skill which at 4 years old they're not typically much good at. So when he &quot;&lt;em&gt;complains that he's bored at school or that school is &quot;too long&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&quot;, that probably only relates to the last 10 minutes of the school day, or to whatever he remembers most clearly. It's a pretty big jump from &quot;school was boring&quot; to the idea that he's being totally unstretched in every department. For example, many 4-year-olds find that in the transition from Nursery (basically 100% learning-through-play) to Reception (about 90% learning-through-play with a bit of formal teaching), the 'formal teaching' bit is dull (compared to good ol' playing). Equally, the transition from half-days at Nursery to full days at Reception is often very tiring for kids, particularly in the first term - perceiving a full day at school as 'too long' does not necessarily correlate with lack of challenge in every area.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T19:45:15.553" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22586" CreationDate="2015-10-18T02:41:34.350" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does he only do this when you are there to witness it, or does he do it at daycare and at home when you are out of the room too? I'm asking because it could be attention getting behaviour. Naturally, when he begins this inappropriate peeing, you react. You could try simply not reacting at all, walking away when he begins, then later coming back in to clean it up. I know this would be tough to do, but it might work if you completely do not give him attention during and after the act. In addition, try to give him a LOT of attention when you are together. Go overboard with it, and see if his behaviour changes. This could take a few weeks or even more, depending on how long he has been doing this and how strong your reaction has been. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T02:41:34.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21538" CreationDate="2015-10-18T02:52:15.950" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've raised three children of my own, and for many years worked in a daycare center. The truth is, that children often behave differently at daycare than at home. There is so much going on at daycare, with all the children and toys, that it's no wonder a child doesn't want to stop to go to the potty every 30 minutes. Daycare do have regularly scheduled bathroom times because of this, and allow children to go when they need to outside of that schedule. At 22 mths, your child is going to be in a potty training stage, but not fully trained. No child is trained until they go by themselves without reminder. I suggest that you continue with your potty training efforts in your home, but when he is at daycare, relax about it. Maybe get Pullups (absorbent disposable underwear) for his daycare time. Ensure that they put him on the toilet every scheduled bathroom time, but otherwise, let him call the shots there. He WILL toilet train. We all do, don't we? Provided we don't have a physical or cognitive condition, of course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T02:52:15.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22524" CreationDate="2015-10-18T03:05:55.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you asked what the goal of the activity is? Is your child supposed to be working on her fine motor skills or her creativity? As a fine motor activity, colouring is fine. Even for following directions, it works. But if this is supposed to be a creative activity, it's a big fail. &#xA;With the teacher stressing the hand holding, sending work home, and asking you to hold your child's hand to guide her, I'm thinking that perhaps the teacher has some concern regarding your daughter's fine motor development. In which case, she is right, somewhat lacking in creativity to foster fine motor skills, but basically effective. &#xA;If this is all just busy work, or a sad excuse for &quot;art&quot;, I'd say just drop it with the teacher. Save yourself for bigger battles. And ignore the homework. THAT is just ridiculous for a two year old. It cuts into her time for physical activity, reading, exploring her world, spending time with her loved ones, etc. Etc. Or, put it out so your child can choose or not choose to colour, if she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T03:05:55.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22590" CreationDate="2015-10-18T03:23:52.817" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You seem to be a very attentive dad. Is it possible your son is doing this because he gets such loving care and attention afterwards? That was my first thought when I read your question, and it is a possible reason. A food intolerance seems to be out of the question. What I mostly wonder is: what happens after breakfast? Where is he going? Could he be excited or nervous about it? At about the same age, my son used to say his tummy was upset too. It took a bit before we realized that it was excitement that he was feeling. As a child, with a limited vocabulary and limited experience, he verbalized it as feeling sick. Is there any chance your son is either excited or apprehensive about wherever happens in the morning?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T03:23:52.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22579" CreationDate="2015-10-18T03:33:13.377" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest they go to the dentist to determine if harm is being done, otherwise, don't worry about it. It isn't always a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter sucked her thumb straight through to grade 2. Nothing we tried to stop her worked. Our dentist said that the way she sucked wasn't affecting her teeth. She never did need braces and has beautiful teeth. The sucking was a relaxation activity, and drove her teachers and the parents of other students crazy with worry that others would copy her, but it wasn't a problem for her. She also had lots of friends and got along very well at school. I'm not just saying this to counteract the previous poster's response. It is our real experience, and was contrary to any popularly help beliefs. &#xA;I'd suggest to take him to the dentist to determine if a problem is developing. If it is, he needs to stop. If it isn't, he will stop when he has learned other means of relaxation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastEditorUserId="19439" LastEditDate="2015-10-18T06:43:08.410" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:43:08.410" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22481" CreationDate="2015-10-18T03:44:13.303" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My second child was colicy. I was a Dr. Sear follower and completely agree with not letting babies cry. I parented that way with my first child. However my second child's colic was so distressing that I would become tense and she felt that in me when I held her and she cried harder some times. For her sake, and my own, there were times that I just had to lay her safely in her crib and let her cry. Usually I went and cried too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is now 21 yrs old, cheerful, has lots of friends, is finishing up a physics degree at university. She spoke in sentences at 15 months, was reading books at 4 yrs, and adult reference books at 6 yrs. She is a leader, and has been at the top of her class since she started preschool to present day. My point being, I don't think the time I left her to cry resulted in any of the harms that I'd been warned of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't worry too much. We all do the best we can, and some times we can only do so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T03:44:13.303" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7410" CreationDate="2015-10-18T03:59:46.220" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We tried a bunch of other things to get our son to bed and sleep. After much trial and error, this is what worked for us and might work for you too:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people simply need time alone to unwind at the end of the day. Many children do. &#xA;My son used to &quot;sneak&quot; a few little cars or pieces of Lego into his bed and then play quietly in bed. As long as he was quiet and stayed in bed it wasn't a problem. I actually moved his bedtime earlier in order to give him this unwind time yet make sure he got enough sleep. On occasion I would pop my head in to make sure he was in bed, but didn't interact with him or linger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T03:59:46.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22371" CreationDate="2015-10-18T04:16:07.907" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;MatthewMartin's answer should work fairly well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend grew up in a similar situation. She spoke french with her mother and mother's family, italian with her father and his family, attended a french school and lived in an english community. She actually became most fluent in English (written, spoken, and heard), fluent in french, and could understand italian very well and speak it with some hesitation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest bringing in books in both yours and your wife's languages in order to assist with learning reading and writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter how fluent your child become in each language, exposure to the languages from a young age will only make it easier for them to expand their learning later in life, should they so choose. Anything you can do will be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T04:16:07.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22590" CreationDate="2015-10-18T04:30:11.430" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Parents usually have pretty good instincts about what symptoms their kids are faking or not.  You should trust your instincts.  Pediatricians are very good in the areas of general childhood illnesses, but sometimes with something a little more unusual you need to insist on seeing a specialist until you find someone who takes your concerns seriously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have acid reflux and it was misdiagnosed as asthma (in some people the acid inflames the airway).  I finally went to see a lung specialist after 7 years to figure out why my asthma treatment wasn't working.  He ran some tests and he told me it was because it was because I didn't have asthma.  He sent me to a gastrointestinal specialist who diagnosed and treated me properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T04:30:11.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22521" CreationDate="2015-10-18T04:35:17.630" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should not feel that you have to be supplying all of her entertainment. Between daycare and the home life you have described it sounds like your daughter never has to find her own entertainment. This is not something you want to encourage, rather she should be encouraged to learn how to entertain herself and be comfortable with her own company. This might be done by giving her toys or an activity to do, on her own, but near you. You might have to tell her that she has to play on her own for 10 minutes/until you finish a task/ etc. You will probably have to do this many times. Eventually, she will learn that she can play on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few things that I used to do were to pull a chair up to the kitchen sink and fill it with water and bubbles, then let my child &quot;wash&quot; small, non breakable dishes while I prepared meals. Water spilled and wiped up was a quick wipe up of the kitchen floor. I also had a container of puffed rice they could play with in the kitchen. A child size table was tucked in the corner of the kitchen where there were crayons, paper, scissors, marker, etc. Things that you need to keep an eye on, but they could do while being near me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another suggestion is to not keep toys in a toy box, but instead to display a few out where she can clearly see them, and change them ever couple weeks. It makes them more attractive and likely to be used. You usually see toys displayed in daycares for that very reason. I don't know if you keep all her toys in her bedroom or a play room, but I would bring some out into wherever you spend your time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T04:35:17.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22487" CreationDate="2015-10-18T05:53:05.583" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Daycare usually have scheduled bathroom times and will encourage all children to try at those times. This could be why he is not having accidents at daycare. &#xA;I would go back to taking him into the bathroom at regular intervals when he is home with you. He may simply be too involved in his play to be paying attention to his body until it is too late. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T05:53:05.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22414" CreationDate="2015-10-18T06:00:23.247" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing that any parent can do for their child, to minimize negative influences whether they come from the other parent or from other people, is to build their child's self esteem. Help the child find things they are good at and then move mountains to ensure the child has the opportunity and means to do them. A child who feels happy and competent will be more likely to let other's negativity in other areas roll of their back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:00:23.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22608" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22332" CreationDate="2015-10-18T06:18:29.240" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering if your son was misdiagnosed with ADHD. The Resperdone should calm someone with ADHD and only stimulates someone who doesn't have ADHD.  If the diagnosis was made by a a professional whose specialty is ADHD, it is likely correct, but if it was your family doctor or someone with minimal knowledge and exposure to it, it could be wrong. Doctors usually rule out the most common causes, it's a step by step process, so it probably would have been a good idea to have gone back when you knew the meds weren't helping. The next step may have been steroids, but if that didn't work, there would be another. You mention that you are planning to go to another professional for diagnosis. You might consider getting a psychological evaluation. They might be the quickest and most helpful choice for you and your son. Your son's school might be able to arrange for a psychological assessment. Many schools do, as it helps them too because they are very detailed and give advice on how to best manage his behaviour and motivate him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:18:29.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21683" CreationDate="2015-10-18T06:21:44.387" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He could be punishing you for leaving him with this stranger. Then again, he could simply be really enjoying himself. You will know more by his behaviour when he returns home. With you picking up his sister, does he know that he too could go home for the night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:21:44.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21567" CreationDate="2015-10-18T06:24:14.493" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe they are frustrated at how little liquid they get on the spoon. In my experience, children usually go from the bottle to a cup with a sip lid, or to a straw. In both cases you get liquid far quicker than a spoon would be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:24:14.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21898" CreationDate="2015-10-18T06:32:04.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How is he at school? Is distraction a problem there too, or do you home school? I don't think you should rule out ADHD. Depending on the severity of what you are describing it is a possibility. Have you ever spoken to his doctor about this distractibility? If it is impairing his ability to lead a normal life, getting him assessed by a psychologist would be helpful as they would advise on how to best manage his behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:32:04.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22258" CreationDate="2015-10-18T06:37:36.993" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A snack before bed, brush teeth, then off to bed. If they wake at night offer a bottle of water. &#xA;With one of my children the night waking was so constant that I finally placed a bottle of water in her crib at night, she would wake, find it and drink a bit, then dose off again. When she moved into a bed the bottle was replace with a sippy cup of water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19439" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T06:37:36.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22588" CreationDate="2015-10-18T14:03:46.857" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most schools are fundamentally structured to teach a lot of children at the same rate.  Teachers learn techniques to help that happen.  Slower learners are engaged using all their senses, and given plenty of repetition.  Faster learners might be given extra credit assignments that are more interesting, or the opportunity to help others (which is beneficial to the tutor as well).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But arranging for your son to do a completely different topic while the rest of the class is doing phonics is very difficult in a traditionally-structured school.  It's not a matter of how much the teacher cares.  They generally don't have the time, resources, or training to accommodate that kind of request, without something drastic like skipping an entire year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some options that are much more suited toward individual learning rates:  homeschooling, private tutoring, sudbury valley model schools, to name a few.  If you're serious about retaining your son's advantage and not letting him get bored, it's probably going to require some sacrifice on your part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-10-18T14:03:46.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22619" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-19T02:04:19.733" Score="2" ViewCount="223" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler seemingly has developed some fear to bath time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My toddler (16 moths) used to love bath time. He would be smiling when I carried him naked to the bath and loved to play with his bath toys. Once or twice he had an unpleasant situation with soap on his eyes but apart from that, bathing him was enjoyable for him and easy for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He gets a short bath every other day. Around a week ago, at bath time, he started crying while sitting in the bathtub. We thought that maybe his bum was hurting (it looked a little bit red). We took him out, dried him and put the diaper with some &lt;em&gt;butt paste&lt;/em&gt;. Two days later, he started crying as soon as his feet touched the water, and didn't event want to sit an play in the tub. We took him out, but a couple minutes later I put one of his favorite toys on the far end of the bathtub and he didn't mind being put in the tub and helped to reach the toy. He did not seem afraid of the water, just didn't seem in the mood for a bath (which was weird for us after the previous episode, specially since he always seemed to love bath time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tonight, after stripping him I held him to take him to the bath and he started crying when he understood where he was going. He was crying a lot and hanged really tight to me, never letting go. He got more upset as he got closer to the bath tub. He never made it to the bath and it took him a while to get calmer. He is not that upset when he falls or the like. Just being taken close to the tub seemed a very upsetting experience. If it wasn't because a week ago he &lt;strong&gt;loved&lt;/strong&gt; bath time I would have said he was scared of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if he is going through something developmental at this stage that specifically makes him hate the bath now. He has not had scary or unpleasant experiences in the bathtub before (expect for the mentioned soap in the eyes).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could it be that he is afraid of bath time now? If so, how do I help him to overcome this fear?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11753" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T02:04:19.733" Title="My toddler used to love bath time and now he hates it (or is scared of it)" Tags="|toddler|development|fears|bathing|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-10-19T04:20:37.307" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22620" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22622" CreationDate="2015-10-19T11:50:13.023" Score="12" ViewCount="8121" Body="&lt;p&gt;My colleague's  6-year-old son has just started elementary school. He is a bright boy, however, very competitive, so much so that he started resisting going to school, even attending any activities, social and active. He says he is scared he will not  be the best of the class, get the highest grades or win that particular race. The family is trying not to be aggressive but even the psychologist and the principal of the school couldn't talk the boy into attending the classes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions of how to fix this problem? Could this have anything to do with jealousy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9735" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-29T13:10:04.997" LastActivityDate="2019-01-29T13:10:04.997" Title="How to make a 6-year-old stop being too competitive for his own good?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|competitiveness|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22620" CreationDate="2015-10-19T13:37:08.530" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you have to make him understand that he can't be the best everywhere and win everything. But it's OK, look his parents aren't the best and they are happy. They will love him even if he is not the best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he have a favourite sports team? Try to make him understand that sometimes his team lose, but it's OK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can't do nothing for the rest of his life just because he might not be the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19412" LastEditorUserId="9006" LastEditDate="2015-10-19T19:35:05.533" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T19:35:05.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22620" CreationDate="2015-10-19T13:42:32.463" Score="28" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Experiencing failure at something (or even success but not being the best) and finding that it's OK, and even something can help him find ways to improve and be better in the future, would help.  Rock climbing, with appropriate safety measures, can teach a lot here (as can some other sports).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reframing not even trying as failure might help too.  If he doesn't even run the race, he's lost the race, and he knows he can do better than not even trying.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Focusing on the goal of &quot;do &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; best&quot; rather than &quot;be &lt;em&gt;the&lt;/em&gt; best&quot; might also help produce evaluations of success when he met that goal but somebody else did better at the task.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also try to build empathy for encouraging him to let other people win sometimes (i.e. that's not only OK but encouraged), because of how they would feel if they had his perspective.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Deliss's suggestion is good: Point out that even professional athletes, including any that he might regard as heroes, still lose games much of the time, but they still go out there and try to do their best to play well.  Statistically, his favorite team (if in a sport where two teams play in games that each have one winner) probably loses about half the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tie feedback to the effort that was given and how well that corresponds to his best effort, instead of tying the feedback to the outcome, at least in some cases.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When giving explanations for a success, focus the explanation on something that is within his control, like the effort given instead of on some innate quality ('you must be so smart') because if the results are interpreted as something innate and close to self-worth he won't want to try for fear of the results reflecting poorly and damaging that self-worth.  If the results are more often interpreted to reflect level of effort and how well he's trying his best, that motivates a different choice about how much to try, and even to try some things he doesn't think he's likely to succeed at (some of them, he will succeed at anyway, and surprise himself).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17680" LastEditorUserId="17680" LastEditDate="2015-10-19T13:58:17.537" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T13:58:17.537" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21943" CreationDate="2015-10-19T15:21:16.623" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hate to bring this up, but it has to be said.  Especially because other question(s) have been asked with similar characteristics and just pointed back to this one.  Any drastic change in behavior can also be a sign of abuse.  This does not mean that any time there is a change in behavior like this that there was abuse.  There could be a totally innocent explanation for this - kids will sometimes develop a phobia very quickly for some reason that is completely beyond us.  But sometimes it is abuse.  If there has been a baby-sitter or someone else involved in bath time, and especially if the child has also started displaying some fear of that person, then you need to look into this.  But again, don't jump to conclusions, it could be something else entirely, and I hope and pray it is something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T15:21:16.623" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22626" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22620" CreationDate="2015-10-19T17:21:59.903" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's afraid of not being the best at everything, I'd teach him about specialization.  Point out how silly it would be if we had doctors building roads and bridges, or firemen teaching classes at school, or chefs playing baseball on TV!  (Wait for him to laugh at the mental image.)  People have things that they're good at, and things that they're not good at; everyone does!  And it's important to know what you're good at and what you're not good at, and the only way to really find out is to go ahead and try things.  (Talk about some point where you tried something and were surprised to discover you had a talent for it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also mention how even people who are the best don't always get everything right, and what makes them the best is how they keep trying and actively learn from it. Show him a light bulb, and tell him about how when Thomas Edison, one of the smartest men &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt;, was trying to invent the first light bulb, he tried &lt;em&gt;3000 different things&lt;/em&gt; and none of them worked!  When another scientist said it was a shame he had failed so many times, he said, &quot;I haven't failed; I've learned 3000 ways that don't work!&quot;  And when he learned what didn't work, it was able to teach him how to find things that do work, until he finally came up with one that did, and now everyone remembers Thomas Edison for inventing light bulbs, not for failing 3000 times along the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="475" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T17:21:59.903" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22627" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22620" CreationDate="2015-10-19T18:36:30.307" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This could very well be related to the work of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Dweck&quot;&gt;Carol Dweck&lt;/a&gt;. While her work is fascinating and nuanced, the TL;DR is that children praised for intelligence restrict themselves to endeavors the think are likely to succeed, shying away from any activities they might be less than a stellar success at (citing the same fears as your colleague's son). Children praised for &lt;em&gt;effort&lt;/em&gt; tend to try harder things and actually achieve more. The premise is that intelligence is an &lt;em&gt;innate&lt;/em&gt; quality: the child thinks &quot;if I fail then maybe I'm not so smart after all&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Effort on the other hand is a choice, the locus of control is back with the child himself/herself. I'm aware of this research and its implications, and I &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; catch myself telling my daughter she's smart. Its so very easy to do because we think as parents that we're reaffirming our child's self-esteem, when we're really teaching risk avoidance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12008" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T18:36:30.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22628" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22633" CreationDate="2015-10-19T18:37:59.187" Score="6" ViewCount="685" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming home schooling would be the only education for my child - how much time per day should I commit teaching him? And how much time should kid work on his own &lt;em&gt;(&quot;homework&quot;)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19448" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T21:19:35.710" Title="How much time does homeschooling consume?" Tags="|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22620" CreationDate="2015-10-19T18:45:36.810" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have nine children, and one of them has a little bit of that symptom. He is 10 years old, and is a good competitive distance runner - 19:47 in the 5K on the road, 5:42 mile on the track, district champion in the 1500 meters in his age group. He is extremely competitive and is constantly trying to run his siblings into the ground in training runs that are supposed to be easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I found is that such a competitive drive is both a strength and a weakness, and with proper approach the strengths can be magnified while the weaknesses mitigated. I have seen my son through his competitiveness find a gear at the end of a race that I did not think was there, and that makes all of the headaches of trying to tell to him to stop creating a race out of an easy run every 100 meters of it over the course of 4 miles worth it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I do with my children is look at what they appear to be capable of and then give them a reasonable challenge. Find the most desired reasonable reward that they would like, and make a deal with them that they are getting it once they have met the challenge. In the process they will fail a number of times before they succeed. Each time they fail, analyze with them why, and come up with a plan to do better next time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our goals are usually running times. For a competitive child this redirects the focus from beating an opponent who may or may not be good, to beating the clock which is constant and predictable. He learns that if he practices sound training and racing principles he will have good results. Competitors are his friends, not his foes - they help him run a faster time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should not expect perfection with regard to toning the excessive competitive drive down, but with a solid consistent effort and a lot of patience you should be able to make it manageable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19449" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T18:45:36.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2015-10-19T19:54:34.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Right now we are in the process of growing out my daughters bangs (She's 2).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually do the same thing with her bangs everyday, which is basically a small ponytail with them, only with a pull-through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I just put in a little rubber band (the non-pulling hair kind, usually comes in packages with lots of colors) it will fall out no matter how tight I pull it or how many times I twist the band around that part of her hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you put in the band, then make a hole in the middle of the hair, before you tighten it, and then pull the pony tail through, then pull the hair tight, it stays ALL DAY.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It lays back on her head, so she doesn't see it in her peripheral vision, and it doesn't stick up so she can easily find the rubber band and pull it loose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been the best solution for us to keep the hair out, is pretty quick, especially the more you do it. And, can be done while they are laying down/sleeping as you are just gather the hair at the front.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can see a tutorial here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://babesinhairland.com/hairstyles/bang-pull-back-5-flipped-ponytails/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://babesinhairland.com/hairstyles/bang-pull-back-5-flipped-ponytails/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now they do more then just the one ponytail here, but it will at least give some instructions and a picture as to what I'm referring to. Again, just do the part of hair that is in her face, what could be considered &quot;bangs&quot; no need to do all of it, unless you want to/she has that much hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19451" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T19:54:34.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22628" CreationDate="2015-10-19T20:04:36.387" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many different styles of homeschooling, and many different learning styles of children.  Highly independent children who follow a radical unschooling approach may require hardly any direct input from their parents.  I've also known very intense homeschoolers who spend crazy amounts of time on direct instruction with children they felt were behind, upwards of 8 hours daily.  You can take as much time or as little time as your family needs to meet your educational objectives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The homeschooling families I know (mostly elementary age) tend to do around 2 hours of direct parent interaction and around 2 hours of independent work, depending on the child.  On weekends or holidays when I'm home to help with a special project or field trip, it can go a lot longer, but that's because we're having fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2015-10-19T21:19:35.710" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T21:19:35.710" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22628" CreationDate="2015-10-19T20:32:56.803" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It depends on the curriculum you choose or the curriculum you make up (obviously using a pre-made curriculum will cost you less time.) It depends on whether your child needs more or less help with a lesson or subject. It depends on how well your child works independently. It depends on what you want your child to learn (it takes more time to teach your child to think critically than to regurgitate facts.) It depends on your style of teaching (are you hands on or hands off?) It depends on how many subjects you want to teach (my kids started learning Latin in the third grade. Obviously this took more time than friends who were not teaching languages at this age.) It depends on the grade (the early elementary grades take very little time; the older the child gets, the more time it takes. By high school, it was more than a full-time job.) It depends on how many kids you're teaching at the same time. It depends if you intend to teach year-round or only for 9 months (most homeschoolers I know/knew taught year round with more frequent breaks throughout the year or a half-schedule in summer.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It depends on so many factors that it is for all intents and purposes primarily opinion based.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my kids, homeschool started at 8:30 and finished at noon for grades K-2, with the most time given to my reading stories and teaching them to read. From third grade on, add 30-45 minutes/day for each year, more if you're teaching more than the basics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not all of that time is spent teaching/sitting with the student. But you have to be available. In the advanced grades, you will need to teach something you might not know yourself. In this case, you need to learn the subject yourself first, or use tutors, co-ops, etc. It all takes time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: My kids didn't have &quot;homework&quot; in the lower grades. They did have occasional projects they had to organize and work on independently. In the more advanced elementary grades, they got homework in some subjects (not the majority). In high school, they had homework in most subjects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-10-19T20:52:18.457" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T20:52:18.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22634" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-19T21:21:43.893" Score="10" ViewCount="660" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are considering moving to US with our only 5 years old daughter. We are likely to get a L-kind of visa to secure our stay for 1-2 years. None of us is a native English speaker. Parents do speak English, the child does  only know a few English words though, as she has been taught in her local preschool and heard English stories read or songs played. She's definitely an avid learner and eager to learn English and eager to learn in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are so many questions to ask...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What is the good timing in the year of such move?&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;&lt;em&gt;(I guess not in the summer, when the school is just about to start and it might be too late for her to accommodate).&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to make sure she overcomes the language barrier enough to start her school education in English-spoken primary school in US?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any other practical advice is welcome as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19453" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-19T21:29:59.297" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T23:27:52.487" Title="Moving to US with a 5 year old child" Tags="|primary-schooler|education|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22635" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-19T23:02:08.333" Score="7" ViewCount="40775" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (4) is very close to me. She wants everything from me, and I certainly do her whatever she wants (within limits), however sometimes I tell her ask her Dad to do. When she does ask him, sometimes he does what she wants, sometimes not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was always there for her (to feed her, take her out, buy her toys, visit her friends), but I started to work 4 months ago. She is staying with him 3 days a week for 5 hours. Since then troubles began.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes they do well and sometimes not. Recently she started not talking to him and ignoring him. She doesn't want to answer him when he asks her a question or sit with him, and she asks me to take her to school and to stay home with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her dad's behavior is wrong too (in my opinion) because he's ignoring her too, and doesn't want to talk to her anymore (till she says I am sorry &amp;amp; not going to do that again.) She's very reluctant to apologize, and it's hard for her to say I am sorry even when she is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how to deal with them, how to make her love her Dad more, and how I can encourage her Dad to be more sympathetic with his daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, if she feels he loves her, she will love him back, right ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19455" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-10-20T07:10:43.710" LastActivityDate="2020-01-26T21:51:10.073" Title="My 4 year old daughter doesn't love her Dad and sometimes rejects him" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|relationships|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4849" CreationDate="2015-10-19T23:21:01.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy is only 2 years old but he sleeps just about 8 hours/day. He didn't want to take nap since he was 1.5 years old. &#xA;I keep searching for a sleep solution for my kid and finally I got one from my friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before bed time, I play with him a jumping bed game. We jump up and down from bed to floor. About 15 minutes, we all get too tired. I bathe him quicky and take him  to bed. He falls asleep rightaway. Boom!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19456" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T10:59:11.610" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T10:59:11.610" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22634" CreationDate="2015-10-19T23:43:56.547" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;We moved with three kids ages 1-4 from Germany (your name sounds German, so this may be relevant). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were lucky enough to find a pre-school program that was for kids whose first language was neither English, Spanish or Portuguese (large Brazilian population). It worked great and within a year or so the kids were perfectly bilingual for their age. Kid #2 actually outperformed the natives in his last year in pre-school after being moved to a standard English class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things to consider&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I would probably NOT start directly in Kindergarten but give the kid a year in pre-school or at home to get acclimated. Kindergarten is already fairly formal and structured education (very different from the German Kindergarten). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Exposure English media is good. Our kids listened to the same tapes of &quot;Thomas the tank engine&quot; over and over without understanding much, but after a while it started to sink in. This is one of the very few cases where TV cartoons can actually be really useful&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speak your native language at home. In the long run this will be the harder one to maintain, so start now. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Social contacts, friends &amp;amp; neighbors are good things. Kids running around in the yard together and doing kid stuff is fairly non-verbal and a great way to ease into things.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check out the schools and their attitude. Strangely enough the more upscale schools can have trouble with this since they primarily cater to a white affluent English-speaking clientele. We found that a more diverse community worked a lot better for us.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't think timing matters that much and there are probably other concerns (visa, housing, job, etc.) that should take precedence anyway. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2015-10-19T23:43:56.547" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22635" CreationDate="2015-10-20T09:33:57.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;How did you explain to your daughter the change of rhythm in her life, with you going back to work? It seems to me she is disturbed that you have less time with her than before. So maybe she needs to understand better why this has changed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to make the explanation of you going to work sound positive, you could also tell stories of what you do at work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the behavior of her dad does not seem right. He needs to change this, otherwise their behavior is only going to be worse in the next months, imo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could you please clarify if you and her dad are together ? I am not sure of your status, reading your question, and that is an important factor in parents/child relations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-10-20T09:33:57.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22634" CreationDate="2015-10-20T11:55:06.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Coming under other practical advice, many times employers include specialist relocation consulting as part of their relo packages. This consulting might include finding the right schools and playgroups, and can often be a big help. Sometimes people don't use all the potential resources offered, so be sure to find out what's available, and don't be afraid to negotiate for more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2015-10-20T11:55:06.473" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22620" CreationDate="2015-10-20T13:59:48.263" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a cub scout leader, I have seen similar behaviours in some kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you try to re-acquaint your kid with playing (games) adding an emphasis on developing his sense of humour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that he needs to learn to laugh at himself and it will be easier to get him there by having him laugh at other silly stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games can also provide a good framework to demonstrate that by example, goofing off yourself and having a laugh to show him that it's not the end of the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Non-competitive games where, for instance, players have to mime to get their team to guess a word are nice way to showcase that you can 'not take yourself too seriously'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19460" LastActivityDate="2015-10-20T13:59:48.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22641" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-20T14:05:56.787" Score="9" ViewCount="354" Body="&lt;h3&gt;Background&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My older children have mobile devices, and while they agree to allow us access to them and installation of software to permit us to review how they use the device with them, they also work around those measures and prevent such systems from working well.  For instance, play games when they shouldn't be (middle of the night, staying up for hours, not getting up on time, etc), and occasionally obtaining games that they are not allowed to play at their stage in life, among other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They aren't very good at keeping this out of sight, and so occasionally a younger sibling will see something that is disturbing for them, given their stage in life. Some of the media they are playing or watching have levels of violence, relationships, or language that isn't appropriate even for the teen, but certainly not for the younger child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Question&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we are tackling the problem with the older children separately, what I'm trying to figure out is how to encourage my younger children to discuss these things with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a lot riding against that - they feel it'll be tattle-telling, what they've seen makes them feel yucky, unhappy, or guilty, their older sibling has cautioned them against it, they feel like they might get in trouble with us or the sibling, etc, etc, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they do tell us, it's relatively easy and painless to explain what they saw, help them understand how it relates (or not) to them and their life, and give them relief from the anxiety it may have caused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we encourage young children to discuss disturbances with us, overcoming the various barriers that prevent them from doing so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Distraction&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While there is a lot that could be said (and has been said) regarding mobile device usage and tracking, and that is one possible source of disturbing media for children, please do not focus on this.  They could have been shown disturbing images or stories by a friend in school, or protestors on the side of the street, or even some relatively benign subject was discussed that is new and unfamiliar with them. The technology aspect is my particular situation, but &lt;strong&gt;please focus on resolving the fallout, not on preventing the initial exposure&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19461" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T18:16:00.890" Title="What can I do to increase the chance that my children will talk to me when disturbed?" Tags="|behavior|development|safety|pre-teen|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22644" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-20T17:18:52.390" Score="27" ViewCount="7389" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why is it that children seem to pick up and mimic even the tiniest examples violence on TV?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's like a golden beacon of what not to do and they seem to be just magnetized towards it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me try to give an example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know a younger child in the 4-6 age range. They watched Wreck it Ralph and immediately started bopping everything and everyone he can with anything he can and repeating &quot;I'm wrecking you.&quot; Why is this the take away from the movie? There are plenty of other activities going on but the kid chooses the hitting other people activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A friend of the family (this was a couple of years ago) had issues with older boys maybe 8 and 11 ish in age. The dad likes to watch pro wrestling (like WWE) and at EVERY opportunity those boys would be body slamming each other and any other kid they could. And I mean these were some heavier boys who were slamming all sized of kids by leaping off the couch at full speed. No amount of explaining that wrestling on TV is an act, that these are trained professionals or do it again and you're grounded would make them stop. They finally had to stop watching wrestling all together, it was really a big issue; which is odd to me because I thought at that age they could reasoned with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't even tell you how many times I've been &quot;Hi ya&quot;ed or karate chopped by kids mimicking ninja turtles / super heroes, not to mention how many times I've been pretend-shot by kids pretending to have a gun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is violent play so attractive to young children? I know the wrestling example is kind of a &quot;well dua they see it on TV&quot; moment but why couldn't a 10 year old grasp the concept of falling on and hurting someone smaller? And what about the 4 year old that suddenly starts hitting everything with a pretend mallet? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before being around kids, most of this TV/media didn't even strike me as violent and now I see kids pick up on these things in shows that I would have never thought about censoring before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="9980" LastEditDate="2015-10-22T20:19:25.217" LastActivityDate="2020-05-31T20:16:05.563" Title="Why do kids pick up on violence in cartoons/movies?" Tags="|behavior|television|violence|movies|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22487" CreationDate="2015-10-20T17:21:48.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing my wife and I did when we were at this stage was to set an alarm (on a phone or otherwise) that goes off every hour or so as a cue to go try. It worked pretty well for us, but of course not all children are the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastActivityDate="2015-10-20T17:21:48.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-20T18:02:43.787" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My gut feeling: three mechanisms combined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Monkey see, monkey do&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Children learn via observation. A lot. If this weren't true, we could never teach by example and have to explain in detail whatever we &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; them to do. This is true for the rules of interactive play as well. In your question you mention TV action heroes, but there are hundreds of little (disney) princesses, sports stars, singers and other &quot;celebrities&quot; impersonators in families around the world. The fact that action heroes are typically  preferred over, say, novelists and insurance agents (random example) ist that because most children want to be &quot;strong&quot; or &quot;powerful&quot; and &quot;special&quot; in their play instead of nondescript and ho-hum.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Children (partly) live in a fantasy world&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Especially younger children can immerse themselves in their play - the boundaries between real world and real objects and the imaginary world are blurred. Most toys work because of that. Else no doll could be a baby and no stick a sword.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Boundaries need stretching&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Assume that children know right from wrong. They typically know what they are supposed to do. And these rules are something that provides a sense of security.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;But the more you are allowed and able to do, the more freedom you typically get. And this is where boundaries are stretched. Both in a physical sense (how far are we allowed to wander from our parents' reach) and figuratively. A good and normal process in the innumerable stages of growing up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So combine the allure of a &quot;I am strong&quot; game with the &quot;I stretch my boundaries because I'm strong&quot; and you have your little wannabe-wrestler that repeatedly jumps from the couch and the wrecking mini-ralph that goes after your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be glad if your children do that while they are young and let's hope that once they are old enough to get really in trouble they have outgrown the need to re-enact &quot;The Fast and the Furious&quot; with mom's minivan. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-10-20T18:32:23.187" LastActivityDate="2015-10-20T18:32:23.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-20T18:18:23.097" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids, just like adults, want to &quot;be cool&quot;, to have fun and to have something they can share with their friends.  TV, video games, pro wrestling, whatever.  And the parts they want to talk about/reenact are going to be the ones that they find most fun or exciting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think back to the last action movie you saw (for me it was probably Avengers or something similar).  If you got to reenact any scene from the movie, what would you want to do?  The scene where two characters stand in a room and talk for a couple of minutes?  Or the one where Iron Man and Thor are flying around, dodging lasers and shooting aliens?  If it were me, I'd want to pretend to blow stuff up, because it's fun and exciting.  Standing around and talking?  That's normal and I do it every day.  Why would I want to spend my play time doing something boring I do all the time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, kids learn by repetition.  As I recall from Wreck-It Ralph, things got bopped a lot.  Its no surprise that a small child would pick up on the bopping over, say, the nice moral of the story.  The four year olds I've known couldn't pay attention long enough (and probably didn't care enough) to follow the whole story of an hour and a half movie.  They probably can't pick up on little intricacies and all the other little details that makes stories interesting to adults.  They remember the big things and the things that happened a lot.  For example, I can't remember all the details of the Looney Toons I watched growing up.  But I do remember Wile E. Coyote getting nailed by countless anvils, boulders, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as taking it a bit too far, you have to remember that while 11 year olds are old enough to reason with and in many ways act like small adults, they aren't adults.  Their brains haven't matured like yours and mine.  They don't have nearly the amount of life experience we do.  But they are at least (and probably more so) as susceptible to getting &quot;caught up in the moment&quot; as we are.  And that's when the body slams happen.  When we start doing things like that we (hopefully) have a red flag or three fly up and say &quot;woah, slow down chief&quot;.  We (at least partially) got that from experience, by screwing up and learning from our mistakes.  Kids haven't made those mistakes yet and don't have that automatic warning system built in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as adults, we have the mental capabilities to separate reality from fantasy.  We know that bullets and body slams hurt.  We also know that pro wrestling is staged.  Kids don't fully grasp that.  And even when they sorta do, they think &quot;well, I just saw two huge guys jump on each other and no one got hurt.  I can do that too.&quot;  They (and sometimes adults too) overestimate their abilities and underestimate the potential damage.  And then reality usually takes effect and administers nasty surprises to everyone involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum up, they are just being kids and want to have fun doing exciting things.  And they haven't messed up enough yet to know when actions are potentially going do lead to undesirable consequences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2015-10-20T18:24:45.247" LastActivityDate="2015-10-20T18:24:45.247" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22648" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-20T21:56:07.433" Score="3" ViewCount="376" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6-month-old grandson wants to watch the the &quot;VuVu&quot; video while eating. So he starts to scream loudly and crazily, almost like e tantrum, just to watch that while eating. Any suggestions as to how to tackle him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19470" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-02T12:25:59.343" LastActivityDate="2019-08-02T12:25:59.343" Title="How to tackle the screaming/tantrum of a 6-month-old boy?" Tags="|infant|discipline|tantrums|grandparents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2015-10-21T00:32:04.807" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our pedatrician said the first 5-10 mins of flow has a different consistency than the later flow, which has more nutrients. This latter flow makes baby feel full and also has a sedative in it. It is not present in the first flow. She told us if they only go 10 mins they will wake up hungry within the hour, was you would if you had lolly water instead of a meal. So at least use the same breast until baby has had 20 mins, even if you did have to change him or even bathe him during/between the feedings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19471" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T10:57:46.657" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T10:57:46.657" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-21T01:34:21.560" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Violence and play fighting is an innate aspect of human behaviour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can observe animals play fighting as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Domestically, you can observe cats and dogs play fight, more commonly as juveniles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our closest animal relative, &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimpanzee#Laughter_in_apes&quot;&gt;chimps, are also known to wrestle and play chase&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't believe the desire to play fight is mimicked from television (what television do lion cubs watch?). Television might however, provide inspiration for a type of play. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotally - I play fought and wrestled with my two brothers a lot as a child, and had a lot of fun doing it.  (Much to our mother's chagrin - though she was more concerned about the noise we were making than us hurting each other). It's a good workout, involves tactile stimulation and is a good challenge, especially when your older brother is bigger and stronger than you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to seperate your concerns: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The play fighting&lt;/strong&gt;  - which in my opinion is an acceptable form of child's play, and confers all the advantages of social interaction, physical activity, stimulation, finding boundaries etc. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The risk of seriously hurting each other, or anti-social pestering&lt;/strong&gt; - Some activity isn't socially acceptable. For example running up to and randomly hitting someone isn't acceptable, and that needs to be pointed out. But in the context where everybody is enjoying themselves and no one is being hurt, and I'd allow it and even encourage it. Play fighting is fun. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11724" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T01:34:21.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-21T02:44:44.020" Score="8" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why is kids picking up on 'inappropriate behavior' &lt;em&gt;appropriate&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;The social group basically polices itself and enforces the rules of social dominance, the social mores of the troupe, and monkeys who don't pay attention to those rules -who are overly aggressive in their interactions- don't last in that troupe very long. They're kicked out of the troupe. They go solitary and most of them don't survive.&quot; –Steven Suomi, &lt;em&gt;Origins of Human Aggression&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BelCtlekuik&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;YouTube&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paraphrased, if not outright stolen, content:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play fighting is as natural in humans as it is in other animals, but guardians often forbid it, because they see in play fighting disturbing signs of violence. It is however, extremely useful to a child's development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;By competing physically with others, the child discovers who is stronger, where each person's limits are, and whether aggressive acts are acceptable. Play fighting also requires compromises. The strongest must learn to let other partners win from time to time, or they will find themselves without playmates. In fact, as shocking as it may seem, &lt;strong&gt;play fighting apparently teaches youngsters to control their aggressive behavior&lt;/strong&gt;.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The desire and pleasure of being part of the group, forces a child's brain to develop ways of regulating anger. &quot;Discipline plays a vital role in eliminating aggressive behavior&quot; and is beyond the scope of this question, but it is &lt;em&gt;expertly&lt;/em&gt; discussed in the video. Preventing the recurrence of this behavior through discipline is much more desirable then the solutions that are commonly used for those of older age, and usually as a last resort:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Removal or 'special placement' of individuals with aggressive behavior has disastrous consequences. &quot;They never learn desirable social behaviors and even worse, by a sort of mutual contamination, encourage one another to maintain their violent behavior.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Children who fail to learn alternatives to physical aggression during the preschool years have many problems.&quot; - Think long and hard about, how or of what you &quot;censor&quot; for your children. Above all, be consistent and never divide the parental unit (play fighting aside, I can only assume &lt;em&gt;WWF-dad&lt;/em&gt; wasn't helping the coherency of the unit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9910" LastEditorUserId="9910" LastEditDate="2016-11-20T21:43:27.790" LastActivityDate="2016-11-20T21:43:27.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22652" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-21T04:06:09.240" Score="4" ViewCount="922" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a simple freshman in high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents (especially my mom) have pushed me immensely. Including, but not limited to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting me in advanced mathematics from a very early age. (Algebra 1: 3rd) (Geometry: 5th) (Algebra 2: 6th) (Pre-calculus: 7th) (Calculus: 9th)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prompting (forcing?) me to work very hard (4 hrs a day during the summer!) on many different math tests such as the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.maa.org/math-competitions/amc-contests/amc-1012&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AMC10, AMC12&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.maa.org/math-competitions/amc-contests/invitational-competitions&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;beyond&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Forcing me to study for SAT &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pushing me to get all A's (This is not typically that hard, but piled up with the others it is.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Skipping 4th grade&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do realize that to get to places that I want to be (I especially want to go to &lt;a href=&quot;https://tams.unt.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;TAMS&lt;/a&gt;) I must work quite hard, but for a freshman who is starting to try the world out, this is a particularly hard decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad has tried quite hard to loosen up and also encourage me by volunteering to create a math team for our school and everything (1st meeting just passed!), but my mom is constantly burdening me with her consistent criticism whenever I do something badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My relationship with my mom has been deteriorating due to the issue that she pushes me to my limits while also being controlling in other areas... she seems to get mad at me every 20 minutes or so (not exaggerating here, I swear) for some miscellaneous item, be it a B on a quiz, me being in trouble with my teachers, not putting the milk in, not putting on my shoes even though we are 10 minutes early... (these last two I really don't get.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want some advice with loosening my mom's tightening grip on my life... the stress from my family is just so overwhelming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19472" LastActivityDate="2024-02-13T20:57:18.133" Title="How to deal with controlling parents?" Tags="|teen|parents|relationships|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22659" CreationDate="2015-10-21T05:37:09.437" Score="5" ViewCount="172" Body="&lt;p&gt;Now it is the festive season in India. &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwali&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Deepawali&lt;/a&gt; is coming up. We clean the house and decorate it with flower garlands and put lights all over the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toddler is &lt;strong&gt;2 years 4 months&lt;/strong&gt; old, and has got a lot of patience to listen and understand what's being told.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The eye hand coordination level of the toddler can be seen in her painting where &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22491/at-what-age-should-i-tell-my-child-to-colour-within-the-lines&quot;&gt;she coloured the goat, blue&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want the toddler to get involved with me in decorating the house. I was thinking of getting the flowers from the market and making a garland of them. The needle will be involved and I am not sure if it is wise to give that needle to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was thinking of making paper flowers and sticking them of a strip of paper and then hanging it. I can get the child to stick the flowers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What other activities can be there w.r.t decorating the house with hand made objects where I can get the toddler involved?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T11:57:55.513" Title="What are the activities pertaining to decorating the house with hand made objects where I can get the toddler involved?" Tags="|toddler|arts-and-crafts|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22648" CreationDate="2015-10-21T07:18:41.013" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;One. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't watch it. Ever. Again. (or at least for a year and a half).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's too young for the &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; tantrums, he just wants something and shows it. When he screams, let him. Talk to him in a calm manner, and try to change the subject. A favorite puppet doing something funny, a book, anything that will make him forget about watching the show will be good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After 3-4 days of consistently not watching while eating he should start acting normally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, I suggest that you tell him that the TV is broken (remove batteries from the remote and show him that it isn't working) and not watch it again unless he's asleep or outside. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Why-to-Avoid-TV-Before-Age-2.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children shouldn't be watching TV before being 2 years old!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T07:18:41.013" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8615" CreationDate="2015-10-21T09:27:33.390" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your baby is waking up because he's hungry! Probably ready to start weaning! Try a bit of baby rice cereal before bed with last feed, I'm having the same thing with my 4 1/2 month old and it seems to have worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19475" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T11:54:11.553" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T11:54:11.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22657" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22661" CreationDate="2015-10-21T10:18:41.853" Score="44" ViewCount="10504" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am actually a language researcher, but when it comes to my own situation I have a hard time being objective and make some choices for my own family. &#xA;My husband and I are expecting our first child, and I am really confused as to which languages we should speak and when.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was raised in Denmark, but have Iraqi-Kurdish roots, and my husband was also born and raised here but has Turkish roots. Thus, my native language, and the language I learned first, was Kurdish, and I do speak it with my parents and the rest of my family. However, I am more proficient in Danish. &#xA;I know a little bit of Turkish, but only speak Danish with my husband.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is, would my child be confused if I spoke Kurdish with it and Danish to my husband, and my husband spoke Turkish to the child? Also, if I know myself well, I would probably speak Danish to the child outside our home, since Kurdish is not valued in the Danish society - I know that´s a bad excuse.&#xA;What are your suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19476" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-10-24T12:43:34.577" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T16:22:46.503" Title="Too many languages?" Tags="|parents|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22635" CreationDate="2015-10-21T10:33:27.177" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It all sounds pretty normal to me - I'm a stay home parent to 4 and 8-year-olds, although a grandparent likes to have quite a lot of input and lives with us.  There are a few common things in play here that I can see...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Children have nothing else to learn in their early lives than how to manipulate their parents&lt;/strong&gt;, they spend a great deal of their time perfecting this necessary life-skill.  It is likely that your daughter is practicing to get attention from you just because it's opportune to do so, or to put it another way it's largely going to be an act for your benefit and seconds after you're out the door, all will be fine.  Your perception may not be the reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;They don't understand&lt;/strong&gt; at that age they simply don't have the skills to reason out that you will be back and that it's a good thing (even though they may appear to when you talk to them).  If you're leaving it could be forever as far as they can tell.  They will just see that you're leaving and they want you &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; you're going, even if you spent the last hour talking to them about getting ready for work and where you're going etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Children regularly attach to one parent over the other&lt;/strong&gt; and this may flip-flop between parents multiple times in a space of minutes, it's normal.  In our house we have times when it's all about Daddy (&lt;em&gt;I want DADDY to get my water!&lt;/em&gt;), and moments later Daddy is the boogieman (&lt;em&gt;Go away Daddy, I want MUMMY!!!&lt;/em&gt;)  A 4-year-old is at the stage where they will clearly vocalise their preferences but not necessarily in the right way, when they talk it may not be what they mean and sometimes as a parent you just need to get over it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ignoring a child sends quite a powerful disciplinary message&lt;/strong&gt; and doing so is a cornerstone of a number of techniques (like time-out, for example) in which the message should be &quot;I love you but I don't love this behaviour/action.&quot;  It's useful for reinforcing good behaviour in that children get attention when they're good and not when they're bad.  When doing that you do have to think on 4-year-old time, which runs approximately 10 times as fast as our time - if you're still chastising a child of that age after 10 minutes then either they've just flooded the bathroom or maybe a little 'mental reset' is needed on the parent's part, it's usually just a practice thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Practice makes perfect&lt;/strong&gt; and it sounds plausible that Dad isn't used to doing these kinds of childcare tasks.  It's common for maternal instincts to take over and you are just used to doing everything for the child as a matter of habit.  Also it is likely that Dad has fallen into a stereotypical role of being more of a disciplinarian, meaning his reaction to situations will be different to yours (there's sometimes a benefit to a bit of good-cop/bad-cop later on.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Children need consistency&lt;/strong&gt; and it would appear that you and your husband are not working to the same boundaries and responses to any given situation at the moment.  It's fixable but can be quite stressful at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't worry about trying to build their relationship, they need to do it themselves.&lt;/strong&gt;  If they have time together they'll have fun together and the relationship should build itself - if you feel things really need a helping hand then make him look after her while you're at home (perhaps under the pretence of doing something around the house, or just go meet a friend for a coffee).  You can also make suggestions for activities for them to do together before you go out (paint pictures, go to the park, even mundane stuff like go shopping for treats/dinner and so on.)  You can always look online for seasonal craft things to do (it's autumn now, so fallen leaf collages, decorating pine cones etc are all great fun and easy if it's a nice day.)  In my experience busy children tend to be happy children!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T10:33:27.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22653" CreationDate="2015-10-21T10:34:25.080" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being not familiar with Indian traditions (and because the question can be understood fairly universal) I will answer this in a more general way:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;On the value of including children in cultural traditions:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a part of a society, a religon or another cultural group is something that can and should be learned rather early on&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;. It's part of developing a cultural identity and experiencing (or &quot;grasping&quot;) what these events are about. So by all means do let your child participate. While I wouldn't let a small child light fireworks, I usually find an age-appropriate activity or task they can handle. It may be in the preparation of special food, in decorating or doing small jobs at the actual event. It's all about being part, not a bystander.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;On our own expectations:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child's contribution may not meet the highest artistic standards. But the sense of accomplishment and participation outweights the &quot;aesthetical shortcomings&quot; of their results. Maybe your daughter won't always hit the middle of a flower or mine will present their grandparents with an awfully loopsided christmas ornament. But still it will feature a prominent place on their christmas tree or in your home. It's a sign of dedication and love that we do things ourselves and it serves as a great teachable moment for our children. We do our best, but being not perfect is ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;On typical techniques and things to make:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Traditional&quot; crafts vary a lot. Yet many use common elements like  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cutting things apart or into shapes (paper snowflakes or carving pumpkins)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;piecing/glueing/tying/positioning things together or  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;drawing something.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There might be some kind of sculpting involved (think special breads)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and the artistic display of objects inside or outside of a house (lights/candles, decorating a Christmas tree or an altar/shrine, hanging a garland) according to some kind of &quot;cultural standard&quot;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, if you look closely, you will probably find the entire range of crafting that is usually taught at preschool etc. represented in one or many holidays. Be creative....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;On proper tools and safety:&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tool we use comes with a (virtual) set of &quot;how to use it&quot; rules. Be it a spoon, a pair of scissors or a knife, all have their specific uses and techniques. As in everyday life you have to set and enforce the rules of proper and safe handling. Simple examples are that a knife should only be used when sitting on a table or on the floor, not something you hold in your hand while runing around. Likewise, no running around if another person holds a knife. The point of the knife should always point down and away from you. If carving, you carve away from you. If you cut vegetables, you use &quot;claw fingers&quot;... Use common sense and explain the rules. Supervise, explain again, if necessary.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It largely depends on the individual child which tools are &quot;ok&quot; and which are &quot;dangerous&quot;. But with good guidance, many children can safely use &quot;sharp and pointy&quot; things quite early. It is always an option to let a child try under close supervision and see how it goes. While a small nick or cut is possible, serious and permanent damage is extremely unlikely if basic safety rules are observed. And please do not think blunt tools are automatically safer - any cook knows that a blunt knife is more likely to slip and therefore essentially more dangerous. Use appropriate tools for the task at hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1 In a more everyday sense, we teach proper table manners and other social norms by simply letting them participate and guiding them. A method probably all parents around the world use every day. &lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-10-21T11:57:55.513" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T11:57:55.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22652" CreationDate="2015-10-21T10:38:43.383" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to them.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start out by telling them that you're pretty unhappy about some things in your life, stressed and close to burnout (because it really sounds like that, which is pretty awful for someone your age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell them:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are your goals, what do you want to achieve?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What do you want to do, what do you not want to do?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why you're unhappy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What actions of theirs made you unhappy, and why.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let them tell you the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Together, discuss:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Which goals are reasonable?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do the actions reasonably support the goals?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Where are direct conflicts, things one of us wants and the other doesn't? Can we find a reasonable compromise?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What can we change to help us reach our non-conflicting goals together?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What can we change to avoid doing things that make each other unhappy?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The focus must be on finding solutions, not on assigning blame or &quot;winning&quot; by defending one's actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1939" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T10:38:43.383" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-21T11:00:47.647" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you speak two languages your child may be confused but you can speak Danish and your husband Turkish. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will associate Danish with you and Turkish with your husband. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22371/3-languages-family?rq=1&quot;&gt;more info with a similar problem&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19412" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T13:58:59.613" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7246" CreationDate="2015-10-21T11:45:39.827" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm late to the party but I find it bizarre and ridiculous that the parents would demand that. They should be happy if their son is happy; they have done a decent job raising a man who can have a meaningful relationship (as I hope) and they can be proud of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The son is clearly not a normal guest, so the arguments that a guest should follow the host's rules are utter nonsense; even if they weren't, the hosts have at least as much obligation to make their guests feel comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the parents cannot let their son live with them in his own way and space, i.e. share the family home with him as peers on equal terms, it is time to move on. One can live cheap. And in fact, that you are not on your own feet may be the underlying issue here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7440" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T11:45:39.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-21T13:42:28.817" Score="66" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a linguist (master's degree in linguistics), speak three languages fluently, and have studied a few others.  I have four children, and my wife and I also have different mother-tongues - Spanish for me, English for my wife.  Because one of my children had speech acquisition problems, I have done a bit of research into this topic.  The bottom line is that kids have an amazing ability to pick up on language.  If they grow up hearing two or three languages, in different contexts, they will learn them and distinguish them, easily.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I would encourage you to speak whatever is comfortable for you to use in each context.  Don't try to force one of your languages into a situation so that your child will learn it, because you will not be consistent and that might add unnecessary confusion.  But as long as you can be consistent, in a particular context, with your language use, I would not be worried about your child being able to keep things straight.  The brain's ability to learn and process multiple languages, at that age, is astounding.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;However, as with all things in raising a child, be watchful, observant.  If your kid struggles at some point, you may have to adjust.  When one of our kids' speech regressed from age 2.5 to 4, we were of course very worried.  After seeing a speech pathologist, a psychiatrist, and a neurologist, we found that he was severely impaired in speech comprehension and production.  He was diagnosed with a rather severe form of Autism.  Because of this, we limited our language at home to only English, my wife's native language, and started an intensive regime of speech therapy at home, designed by my wife.  Now, 13 years later, he is highly successful in school, taking AP classes in high-school, and being recruited by top schools like MIT, Caltech and Harvard.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Ok, could not resist the little bit of bragging on my boy.  But the point remains - do what is comfortable language wise.  Do not try to use a language just so the child can learn it, but don't rule a language out because you think she may be confused by too many languages.  Speak whatever language comes most naturally to you in each context, and be consistent, but be watchful and be ready to adjust to each of your children's individual needs.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;PS: because of the &quot;English only&quot; rule at home, my kids grew up speaking only English.  But my two older ones have made a point of taking Spanish in High School so that they can speak to my parents.  The third and fourth are already saying they want to do the same thing when they get to High School.  So that is sometimes an option.  If the language is available in the schools where you live, you can let that be the way that they will learn it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-10-23T14:31:56.447" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T14:31:56.447" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-21T13:58:37.247" Score="10" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So my question is, would my child be confused if I spoke Kurdish with&#xA;  it and Danish to my husband and my husband spoke Turkish to the child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an adult, when I'm a 2nd language learner, I never, ever, ever, ever confuse languages. (Exceptions being Spanish and French, they are very similar, and that 5 minute warm up period when you are switching languages). Who constantly warns about the danger of &quot;confusion&quot;? Monolingual grandparents and other monolingual bystanders. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Also, if I know myself well, I would probably speak Danish to the&#xA;  child outside our home, since Kurdish is not valued in the Danish&#xA;  society - I know that´s a bad excuse. What are your suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are the options, they are used everywhere:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 language 1 parent. A household could manage 3 language this way. (Mom's language, Dad's language, the language Mom &amp;amp; Dad use, more if you have grandparents)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;1 language per &quot;domain&quot;, i.e. street vs home. Common domains are school, street, home, work, religion. From language extinction research, when a language isn't used in at least one of these domains, it become extinct in a community.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mixture of above&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Diglosia- switch constantly among languages (common in the Philippines, India, hipster Scandinavians)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What amazes me most is the policy that adult 2nd language learners might find confusing-- diglosia-- is the rule in some places.  In immigrant communities though, diglossia is not the best policy because it risks the minority language being used less and less. I think diglossia gets going because everyone is doing it. If a child only does dilgossia with one person, I think they would rationally speak more and more of their stronger language until the weaker one becomes extinct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T13:58:37.247" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-21T14:50:30.483" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being parents of different &quot;tongues&quot; implies, in my opinion, an obligation to give your child(-ren) as much diversity as possible. I am not qualified to argue against linguists, but I see it as no different than that if you're a mechanic, odds are your kids will learn how to wield a wrench; if you're a musician, perhaps a guitar. With language, you can start sooner (&lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt;, in fact, given the 6/7 year &quot;window&quot; of language learning).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, my mother is Austrian and my father is Danish; they spoke German and Danish with me. In addition, we moved around a bit and so I learned Swedish as well, plus English in school. My experience is that it's a valuable asset that you can give your offspring &quot;for free&quot;. I have friends where the Danish grandparents and their Portuguese grandkids simply cannot speak with one-another, and that is just a darn shame!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, I would suggest you speak your family's language, so your child will learn it and associate it with (and be able to communicate with) your part of the family; and for the same reasons that your husband should speak his family's language. In addition, if the child is immersed in a third language (the general environment, plus your common language), I'm convinced s/he will learn that very easily and naturally. There may be some cross-over in the early years (words or syntax) but that should fade long before age 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2693" LastEditorUserId="2693" LastEditDate="2015-10-22T14:40:36.920" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T14:40:36.920" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11913" CreationDate="2015-10-21T17:46:10.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mentioned violence against you and your property.  This is never an acceptable response to your request, and were this happening to me I'd change the locks until he made amends for his actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this were happening to me, and violence wasn't in play (or had been resolved to everyone's satisfaction) then the conversation would go something like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We love you so very much.  We cannot support you for the rest of your life, and not only that - we only have X years until retirement to save enough to support ourselves once we can no longer work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we can no longer support you. However, we want the transition to you supporting yourself to be as easy as we can financially manage.  Therefore, nothing will change in the next month.  You may continue to live in our home, eat our food, use our utilities, and use our address as your residence for one month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By using &amp;quot;our home, our food, etc&amp;quot; you are reminding him that these aren't things that just pop into being, you are paying for them, they are yours, and you've been freely giving them to him up until now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each month after that, though, we are going to start charging you for the things we are currently paying for that you use.  Starting next month you will need to pay for half of your food, the month after that all of your food.  Right now we are spending $150 per month on food you eat (about $450 on food for all three of us), so the second month from now you'll need to pay us $75, and the third month and thereafter will be $150/month.  If you want to eat less here, or look at the food budget, or buy your own food and prepare it yourself, we are happy to make different arrangements. If you cannot afford to pay us, we will always have Ramen noodles (or other cheap food you indicate) available for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do the same thing with utilities and rent. Make sure you're charging rent that's comparable to the area you live in. You don't want to give him a discount that makes it so he can't move out.  Set it up so that over 6-9 months he has to pay for everything.  Like the ramen noodles, you can provide fallbacks - disabling internet and flipping the breakers so he can't use electricity or internet in his room, removing the bedroom furniture and only providing a sleeping bag and pillow, etc if he's not paying, but still providing very basic shelter if he's still not motivated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focus on the experience as good for him, and your respect for him as an adult and for the decisions he makes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This won't be easy for you, but you cannot depend on us forever, and you must be able to support yourself.  We want to make sure you can do this now, not in a year, not in five years.  If something happens to either of us you may not be prepared for life, so we cannot wait any longer. (if your family history includes medical issues at your age, reminding him that life can change quickly and unexpectedly might be useful)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've dropped out of school, so you've chosen to live in the working class until you do go back to school.  It's not what we want for you, but we respect your decision.  You need to get a job.  It may not pay enough for your entire living, but that's why we're starting slow.  A few months from now you may be able to get a better job, or a promotion, or a second job, or you may need to reduce your spending to afford your living here.  These are normal and are expected parts of life. I advise you to start sooner rather than later, but you understand the deadlines, and we will stick to them.  If you need help looking for jobs or anything else, talk to us and we will try to help you in the best ways we can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, add whatever terms you have that would encourage him to return to school - once presented with having to work or go to school, it might provide enough incentive that he will choose school:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, if you decide to go back to school, we will support you financially in many ways.  It won't be everything you need to complete your education, but we believe it's important enough that we're willing to put a lot of resources into it as long as you show progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, make sure he doesn't have any undiagnosed medical or mental issues. Depression and other disorders that might cause social exclusion could be the root of the problem.  Keep in mind that if he continues to live like this it may make it harder for him to change later.  Patterns he develops now, even in his 20's, will affect the rest of his life, so it's very important to get him out and doing the things he needs to in order to put his life in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T17:46:10.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22641" CreationDate="2015-10-21T18:16:00.890" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've had relative success with this with one of my children:  my six-year-old daughter.  My other daughter has cerebral palsy and has trouble with communication period.  My eight-year-old son hides these sorts of things from us, and always has.  I think it has to do with the impulse control and stimulation-craving parts of his personality.  So your results may vary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the main thing we do is have &lt;em&gt;lots&lt;/em&gt; of open conversations about media standards.  My kids know about the rating system and what they are allowed to watch without prior approval.  When they start talking about a new show I haven't heard of before, I ask them what they like about it and what they don't like about it.  I ask them how it makes them feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then I make time to actually sit down with them and watch an episode or two.  During the show, I comment about parts that I think are scary or characters that I think are mean or rude.  I ask my kids what they think and gauge what kinds of messages they are taking away from the show.  If I decide not to allow them to continue to watch the show, I explain my reasoning.  If I like the show, I explain my reasoning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The effect on my daughter has been pretty much exactly what you're looking for.  If she sees something she doesn't like, she talks to me about it, and she knows she won't get into trouble because she made the choice to change the channel.  If she sees something she likes, she talks to me about it.  If she hears about something that looks interesting, but is slightly above her approved rating level, she comes and asks with reasoned arguments.  Because she is accustomed to talking to me about her media choices.  She has plenty of practice discussing both the good and the bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The effect on my son has been that he better knows what I don't like, so he knows what kind of media to try to hide, and we end up in a technology arms race.  I'm guessing what you're going through with your older kids, although probably to a different degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've talked about self-chosen media, but it pretty much works the same for media chosen by her brother.  The difference is, you might have to deal with the extra disincentive for tattling, which we've never really had a major problem with in our family.  If you search the site, that's been addressed at some length.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also want to say a little bit about comfort zones.  I think it's helpful if parents are around when the boundaries are expanded.  If you occasionally watch shows with them that are just a little bit scarier than shows they've watched before, it will help them think of you as the person to come talk to when they see something scary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do that, you'll have a better idea of what they can and can't handle and when they are growing.  You'll have opportunities to demonstrate the proper response of what to do when you thought something that would be okay turned out not to be.  Kids need good examples and opportunities to practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T18:16:00.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-21T20:03:12.843" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Exposing a child to multiple languages will build more robust language processing in that child's brain.  The only downside is that less brain&#xA;real-estate will be available for other skills.  You shouldn't worry too much about that, as society itself imposes plenty of brain molding forces.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19490" LastActivityDate="2015-10-21T20:03:12.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-21T22:13:16.127" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Because Humans have evolved to survive in a violent and dangerous environment&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do baby lions fight each other? They're practicing. They need to get good at fighting or when they are older they will die.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Humans are the apex predator on this planet. We fight, we kill each other, we kill other animals in very large quantities, sometimes just for sport. It's in our nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like it or not, your children are built to fight, hunt prey, and defend territory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Humans are not blank slates&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We humans are not simple Pavlovian/Skinnerian stimulus-response machines. We have - in some mysterious way - agency. We get to choose what we look at and imitate, and not all environmental stimuli are equally interesting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somehow we come out pre-wired to seek out stimuli that are interesting and useful. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The first time my little girl saw a sportscar she absolutely loved it. She climbs high walls for fun and jumps off.  I don't wish to label her, but she appears to be a thrill seeker. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My little boy on the other hand really loves the inside of machines. He's a tinkerer. I can't explain why, he just seems to have this natural proclivity.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would conjecture that these are both evolutionarily beneficial survival traits. They appear - in some interesting way I can't fathom - to be hardwired into them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fighting gives us the ability to defend ourselves from other humans or animals, and to hunt prey for food. It's only natural that we would come out wired in such a way as to be interested in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-10-25T13:19:55.300" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T13:19:55.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7371" CreationDate="2015-10-22T00:38:29.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use DownBeats.  They are &quot;attenuating&quot; earplugs, cost about ten-twelve dollars, and come in an aluminum screw-top cylinder that goes on your keys, making them always-available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19492" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T00:38:29.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-22T04:49:37.783" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Anecdotal evidence:&lt;/strong&gt; When I was living in Barcelona, my neighbors were a couple with a kid. The father was German, the mother was French, they talked to each other in English and the kid was going to the British School of Barcelona. At 10, the kid was fluent in Catalan, Spanish, French, German and English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Was he sometimes mixing up and making some mistakes? Yes, sometimes; all kids do, don't they? But he was able to communicate without issues in 5 languages and pronounce correctly all the sounds of the 5 languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Another anecdotal evidence:&lt;/strong&gt; As a kid, my mother spoke to me in Catalan and my father in Spanish. Since I was a kid I was able to use both languages without any issue and, even, switch language in the middle of a sentence depending if I was looking at my father or my mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is Catalan a language worth to learn? Well, it is for sure not the language that helps me to travel around the world, but it is the language that allows me to communicate with most of my family and my best friends. Also, thanks to the fact that I am fluent in Catalan, I later learnt French in a bit more than one year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In my opinion:&lt;/strong&gt; A language is not just a grammar and a vocabulary. It also carries a culture with it. If you teach your kid Kurdish, you are also offering him a Kurdish identity that he wouldn't be able to get otherwise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also if you expose your kid to as many languages as you can, you will not do any harm but you will help him to be able to communicate with more people from different cultures. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19495" LastEditorUserId="945" LastEditDate="2015-10-26T12:47:23.853" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T12:47:23.853" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-22T10:21:09.900" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the fundamental assumption of this question is wrong, &lt;strong&gt;the examples given are not violent behaviour&lt;/strong&gt;, just physical emulation. Violence is defined as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill&#xA;  someone or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After watching Wreck It Ralph, my son (who was under 2 at the time) also starting tapping everything with play hammers - not with the intention of hurting anyone - just mimicking a repeated and memorable element of the film. Children (especially younger ones) aren't going to memorise complex quotes, even if they understand them - but they will pick up on repeated words and phrases. The &quot;Hi yaa!&quot; accompanying the Karate chop is one such example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this physical mimicking may (have the potential to) hurt other children. In those cases, educate your child that their action hurts and that they either need to be more careful / gentle or stop completely. Most &lt;strong&gt;children I've encountered copying a film or TV show will adjust their behaviour when they realize what they are doing is hurting&lt;/strong&gt; their playmate, parent or carer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also classify rough play and play-fighting as non violent. There are many (healthy) reasons why children do this. It's a topic that has been covered extensively, so I won't duplicate it here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, &lt;strong&gt;if a child actually starts &lt;em&gt;trying&lt;/em&gt; to hurt other people&lt;/strong&gt; after watching a film or TV show, this is an entirely separate issue. Taking away the source of their inspiration may limit their violent &quot;creativity&quot;, but probably won't remove the behavioural trait. This needs to be addressed just as you would for any violent child - but again, that's widely discussed and beyond the scope of this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9980" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-05-31T20:16:05.563" LastActivityDate="2020-05-31T20:16:05.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22635" CreationDate="2015-10-22T10:23:44.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Her dad's behavior is wrong too (in my opinion) because he's ignoring her too, and doesn't want to talk to her anymore (till she says I am sorry &amp;amp; not going to do that again.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think we should think about who is the child in that case. Cannot understand parents to behave like that. Parents should just stand the behaviour of their kids. Of course they behave that way. They are usually not able to give proper agruments in a discussion (if 4 years old)! So they have no other choice than being rude, ignore, shout, cry, throw toys and so on. Some kids get aggressive if they are frustrated, start hitting others. You can be happy if your child manages to handle her frustration without hitting other people. She behaves well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't understand the advice to ignore kids. I personally remember that being ignored hurts more than anything else. It is not required and remember, do you like people that just ognore you in conflicts instead of talking about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't know how to deal with them, how to make her love her Dad more&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My optinion: if her dad loves her HE should take care of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In my opinion, if she feels he loves her, she will love him back, right ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absolutely agree. Maybe he does not show ot or tell it enough. Some children are VERY sensitive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a friend of supporting children to get self-confident people. I explain my doughters (2 and 3) that they are always allowed to say NO. I never try to manipulate them. Sometimes of course you have to convince them. Sometimes they just have to listen and to what they are told to. But NOT ALWAYS. In case I can live with the NO to my &quot;order&quot;, yes, then I just accept it and make them understand that their opinion counts too. This enables them to say NO in situations where NO is the only right answer. I think it's important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a thought: are you absolutely sure the father always behaves correct when being alone with her...? Did you ask her about it in a very private conversation? I am sorry to ask, but this possibility came into my mind reading your post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19337" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T10:23:44.893" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22678" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22679" CreationDate="2015-10-22T13:04:35.380" Score="12" ViewCount="2171" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the stepfather of an 8-year-old child. &lt;br/&gt;&#xA;He spends every other weekend at his biological father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ever since they moved in with me, he's been increasingly reluctant to spend weekends at his father. This has escalated to him being very angry and obtuse when the time is coming near. He's often telling us he doesn't love his father, and doesn't want to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when he returns he's often angry, spends the whole ride over complaining about his father / stepbrother / weekend. Most of the time when I go to pick him up I'm greeted with &quot;what he did wrong this time&quot;. Which is usually back-talking or going against what his father told him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to interfere in any way that might damage my relationship with him in the future. All I've been doing is telling him that his biological father loves him, and that he'll regret it if he doesn't at least try to keep a relationship with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However I'm starting to doubt myself in this. I feel that he is much better off with us, than he is there. And that he's being better taken care off here. But this is an obviously biased point of view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I'd wager that when it comes to luxuries / ease of living he has a better time there:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gaming consoles&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More free time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Never any homework when there&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No curfews&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Always easy to prepare / junk food&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A stepbrother of the same age&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While with us he has no ready access to games, has to do homework every day, strict bedtimes, and often has to eat food he doesn't like. And he's currently the only child (for the next few months at least).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How could I explain to him that despite how he feels, I can't decide this, and neither can he for now. My apologies for the somewhat disjointed post; this is a hard subject, and it's not entirely straight in my head, as such it doesn't come out straight in writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18997" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-10-23T07:20:23.210" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T07:20:23.210" Title="8-year-old stepchild pulling away from his father" Tags="|primary-schooler|step-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22678" CreationDate="2015-10-22T14:30:40.050" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two parts to this, what you can do with your stepson and what you can do with his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;With Your Stepson&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I would explain to him (like you have been doing) that his biological father loves him and cares for him and that his father is part of your son's family.  For better or worse, we don't get to pick our biological family members.  And that comes with its own pros and cons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continue explaining to him that going to visit his father is a non-negotiable thing (at least for now).  And because of that, he has a choice.  He can either choose to be miserable while there or try to make the best of it.  Part of life is that sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to or don't enjoy at all.  Sooner or later he will have to learn to knuckle down and just do whatever it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it sounds like there is some tension when he visits his father.  Whether that is because of your stepson's actions, his father's or a combination of both, I don't know.  But I would make it clear to your stepson that while he is at his father's house, the rules of his father's house apply and that you expect him to follow those rules just as he would yours.  Any steps you can take to help reduce the contention over there will help transition the visits from being painful to possibly enjoyable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, make sure your stepson feels comfortable talking to you and your wife about what happens there.  I don't expect that there is anything inappropriate going on there, but it would be nice to know if he ever feels unfairly treated or something similar.  That gives you an opportunity to either teach some life lessons to your stepson or to bring up a situation with his father to work toward some kind of resolution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;With The Father&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems as if your household and the father's household function at least somewhat differently.  And that sort of switching might be causing some problems for your stepson.  He is used to your house, seeing his friends that live near you and doing all the normal things he does 12 days out of 14.  Then for 2 days he gets sent somewhere else where he probably has fewer friends and everything is different.  And it seems that he acts out with his father a bit, possibly because of the unpleasantness of feeling stuck somewhere he doesn't want to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, I would try to talk to his father to see if there are any differences in how you handle discipline, house rules, how you spend time with your stepson, relationships with other family members, etc.  And see if there is anything you can agree on to make the transition a little more seamless for your stepson.  That may mean his father may need to make some changes.  You might need to make some changes too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you come to any conclusions after talking with the father, let your stepson know.  That way he knows that first, you are making an effort to help him with this and second that things are going to change and here is what he should expect.  Then he knows he's not alone in this, that both you &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; his father care and are looking out for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T14:30:40.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-22T16:49:14.943" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not necessarily backed by anything other than assumption and observation (yeah, good job keeping it scientific on SE) but I really like the idea that it's because violence is a form of agency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children aren't allowed to control many parts of their life. A lot of the time, they don't even know what that would entail. But being violent, or forcing your presence on someone could very well be seen as a way for them to posit themselves as the leader of interaction. This is usually not something they are afforded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotal evidence be damned, but I definitely remember that being an arse to my uncle and playing pranks on the guy when I was eight years old was justified in that I could get a funny reaction from him - I never cared how it made him felt, just that I could get a consistent and entertaining response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19508" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T16:49:14.943" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-22T17:02:57.157" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect that at least part of it is that those are the actions that generate reactions in the shows/movies.  Those are often the big laugh lines or cringe moments or similar.  If one is seeking to get a big affect from their own actions, copy the things that get the biggest reaction elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reactions need not be positive to be noticeable, though in cartoons violence often goes hand-in-hand with laughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T17:02:57.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22678" CreationDate="2015-10-22T17:12:47.813" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;We all sometimes think that a kid will be more happy with things like gaming consoles and free time and no curfew and junk food.  But I have a nagging suspicion that this is a classic example of what is far more important to a kid for their emotional well-being.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;It seems like expressing love comes readily to you.  Even expressing to your step-son that his father loves him.  Kids need and crave to hear and be shown that.  Love is primarily patient and kind, and it sounds like you communicate that to the boy.  Not only by assuring him of his father's love, possibly also stating your own love for him, but also by providing structure and consistency to his life, and showing concern over his well-being.  Even your post here is a statement of love and concern for your son.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;On the other hand, there are indications that this is not so at the home with his biological father.  If you are greeted by the father with complaints about the boy, when you pick him up, then that is also what the boy primarily hears from his father, and that should not be so.  Don't get me wrong, if one of my kids back-talks to me or his mom, he is going to hear it from me.  He or she will be disciplined so that next time they are tempted they will be less likely to do it.  But, for every time that I have scolded one of my kids, I can easily count at least five times that I have told them I love them, that I am proud of them, that I think they are awesome.  They also see and know that in a hundred other ways - working with them on a science or art project, taking them out on a one-on-one date with dad, praying with them when they have a bad trial.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;It may also be that your step-son might have a personality that craves structure.  For kids like that, two days of completely open ended, unstructured time, no schedule, can be particularly stressful and conducive to misbehavior.  Can you suggest to his dad to have some more structured things?  Does he have some things that he regularly does together with his son?  Is there some homework that can be planned to be left for those weekends and that his dad can commit to helping him with?&lt;p&gt;&#xA;This all sounds like a very difficult situation, and I know my answer is poor, but, for what it is worth...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T17:12:47.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21829" CreationDate="2015-10-22T17:29:43.337" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Continue to offer the nipple!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took a couple weeks for my baby to latch, so in the beginning I was exclusively pumping. The cradle and the cross cradle hold I learned in the hospital from the lactation consultant just wasn't working for us.  It actually wasn't until I came across &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mothering.com/articles/natural-breastfeeding&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; on &quot;natural breast feeding&quot; that I had some success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;During the first week after birth, 92% of nursing mothers reported significant breastfeeding challenges.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article speaks to the struggles women have nursing these days.&#xA;With natural breast feeding the mother-baby positions and interactions release essential hormones and innate (instinctive) feeding behaviors. How human newborns’ innate responses are similar to those of other mammal species–including puppies, kittens, and piglets–that feed on their tummies. In other words, our babies are hardwired to be “tummy feeders.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;To activate a newborn’s internal GPS—so baby knows where she is and what to do—she needs to feel her entire front against her mother. This full frontal contact also activates the “pressure buttons” on a newborn’s ribs, wrists, inside of the knees, and tops or bottoms of the feet, which stabilizes her spine, giving her more control over her movements so can feed more effectively&quot;. The mother is in a semi reclined position (so much more comfortable than being hunched over!) and mother and baby are tummy to tummy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take a look at the article, I hope that you find it as helpful as I did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Another tip to try is to pump for a couple of minutes first so your nipples are more pronounced to counter the flat nipple issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19507" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-10-22T18:08:02.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T18:08:02.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22685" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22691" CreationDate="2015-10-22T17:35:04.397" Score="5" ViewCount="231" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am an overproducer which is a blessing and a curse. Has anyone had any experience donating breastmilk? What are the different types of milk donation programs and organizations? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19507" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-28T13:33:17.290" LastActivityDate="2019-01-28T13:33:17.290" Title="What are ways that I can donate my extra breastmilk?" Tags="|breastfeeding|mother|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22635" CreationDate="2015-10-22T17:37:30.183" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is difficult for young children to understand the necessity for the way adults rearrange their lives.  Children crave consistency.  I think it comforts them.  That's why a child can watch the same video over and over and OVER until her parents are ready to climb the walls every time they hear the music :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When something goes wrong in their lives, people look for reasons, and often people to blame.  It sounds like your daughter is blaming her father for the fact that mommy has gone away.  It makes no sense when you can understand the bigger picture, her father certainly isn't to blame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not even sure if she is old enough to be reasoned with in this.  But I have found with my kids that when you bring these things out in the open it sometimes helps to ease or alleviate problems.  I think they don't really understand what they are thinking or feeling, they can only experience it.  They come up with reasons on their own, but often not the right ones.  When you articulate the situation accurately for them, it helps them process better.  This helped a lot when my daughter was having to adjust to her father being away, sometimes for weeks at a time.  I asked her if she missed her daddy and if she was sad about him being gone, and then I told her that I missed him too and helped her find ways to connect to him even when he was gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try sitting her down and telling her that you are very sorry that you can't be with her during the day every day any more.  Come right out and ask her if she is angry at daddy for something.  Tell her both you and daddy are sad that you can't all be together all the time.  When he is working he misses her, and when you are working you miss her.  This may help reassure her that although she has lost your presence during the day she hasn't lost your love or your thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then explain to her that sometimes you have to do things even if it is hard because if you don't you won't be able to pay for your house and your food and all the other nice things that you have.  4 is old enough to understand these basic necessities, even if she doesn't &lt;em&gt;like&lt;/em&gt; them.  Don't tell her she has to like it, or that she shouldn't feel angry.  Share her feelings, don't argue with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you can work out some special &quot;mommy time&quot; that she can count on (do you have a consistent bedtime routine?) that happens even on days that you are working.  My family likes to have occasional mommy-daughter or daddy-daughter days that are scheduled beforehand and not cancelled except for emergencies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some of her favorite things to do?  Help her father come up with special &quot;daddy time&quot; activities, maybe something only he does with her (to avoid having her comparing them with when she did the same thing with mommy).  Sit down as a family to plan these (I'd suggest you plan both a mommy-daughter and daddy-daughter activity at the same time to avoid favoritism, with both mommy and daddy contributing to the discussion for both events)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter finds it easier to cope with the fact that she is apart from me because she has a cell phone and can text me little messages when she needs to make a connection with me.  When I text her back it reassures her that I am still 'there&quot;.  Your daughter is obviously too young to have a cell phone but (assuming you and her dad have them) what if he occasionally lets her use his cell phone to &quot;text&quot; you (she decides the message, he texts).  Or if not text messages, what about emails, which she composes, and he reads your messages to her?  That will help her get over feeling that he is coming between you and her and will nurture the notion that he is her ally in staying in contact with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, to address her Dad's issues; he's probably feeling angry and rejected and hurt.  His feelings need to be handled carefully as well.  When you love someone and they seem to reject you it isn't always easy to understand or deal with the situation because your own feelings  get in the way.  It may help if he can understand that she is not rejecting him, it is only that she is looking for something to blame because she has lost some stability in her life.  Make sure he knows that you are not blaming him for her rejection, because that will make him more defensive and aggravate the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can make him a partner in finding ways to overcome her &quot;childish four year old issues&quot; he will be able to feel less rejected and blamed.  Above all, don't set yourself up to be the bridge/conduit between him and his daughter.  She is already used to just interacting with you (child &amp;lt;-&gt; mommy), that connection doesn't need to be strengthened.  But they can't be left to work it out with you out of the equation (child &amp;lt;-&gt; daddy), because your daughter will feel rejected by you and he may be feeling too hurt to work effectively on the relationship.  You need to develop the (child &amp;lt;-&gt; mommy+daddy) relationship so that nobody feels excluded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T17:37:30.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20103" CreationDate="2015-10-22T18:52:24.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Eating onions as well as garlic will affect the taste of your breast milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was having an issue with my baby spitting up after eating while my mother was visiting a couple of weeks after I gave birth. After she left the baby stopped spitting up. It wasn't until 2 month later my husband and I figured it out... when we tried to bottle feed the baby with (frozen) milk from that same week and he refused it. &lt;em&gt;My mom was cooking dishes with onions and garlic&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we did an experiment and actually taste tested different bags of frozen milk.&#xA;The ones from the week my mom was visiting tasted sweet upfront but ended on a hot note. It also had a slight smell resembling onions and garlic, where as the other milks smelt sweeter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19507" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T18:52:24.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22688" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-22T19:16:48.280" Score="2" ViewCount="1551" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 18 months old. When she does something that irritates or make me angry she laughs/get happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, when I sit by the laptop she comes by and push buttons on it. First, I say calmly that she mustn't do that. Then I clearly shows that I'm angry with that when she continues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is true for many situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any known solutions for this and from where those this behavior come from?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Background info:&#xA;In general we let her do almost everything she wants. We are not authoritative at all and wants her to have her freedom as much as possible.&#xA;I have tried to punish her by locking her in another room. She really dislike that and cries. I let her stay there for a minute most. But punishing someone you love doesn't feel like a good solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19485" LastEditorUserId="94" LastEditDate="2015-10-30T03:36:52.103" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T03:36:52.103" Title="Laughs when being disobedient stuff (18 months)" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19617" CreationDate="2015-10-22T20:27:08.727" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;5 minutes of protest crying because he's not allowed to play anymore?  Not a big deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for waking himself up a bit later, he's 14 months, for all your sakes, he &lt;strong&gt;has&lt;/strong&gt; to learn to soothe himself to sleep on his own, and you &lt;strong&gt;have&lt;/strong&gt; to give him the opportunity to learn that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Restraining him every night is not a viable routine, and his sleep patterns won't change on their own for a long time, you need to do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T20:27:08.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22688" CreationDate="2015-10-22T21:01:46.567" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Laughing is a stress response, and as such it's very common for children around 18 months and up (and up and up - even young adults) to laugh when they do something inappropriate that they know is inappropriate, because they're dealing with the stress that comes from that situation.  It's not a sign your daughter is happy she's doing something to hurt you or bother you; simply a sign she doesn't know how to handle the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of that stress may well come from her not knowing how you're going to handle the situation, if your approach has varied over time.  While as parents we have to try different approaches from time to time as we learn what works, try to keep it as consistent as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I definitely don't recommend locking your daughter in another room.  That sounds the opposite of non-authoritarian to me; so if your general approach contradicts that, it's no surprise your daughter is highly confused when it happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, the key to a non-authoritarian approach is &lt;em&gt;never just saying no&lt;/em&gt;.  You don't say &quot;No, don't do that&quot;; you say &quot;Don't touch mommy's keyboard, honey, mommy's trying to work, and you're making that harder.&quot;  Or &quot;Dear, please leave my keyboard alone.  Do you need some attention?  Can you play over here for five more minutes - here, I'm setting the timer - while I finish the work I need to do, then I'll give you some attention?&quot;  Or similar.  Explain the why, and also try to understand &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T21:01:46.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22685" CreationDate="2015-10-22T21:49:00.743" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are couple ways to donate milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Informal or &quot;direct&quot; donation.&lt;/strong&gt; This is by far the oldest way of providing milk to somebody else's child, although historically it was a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wet_nurse&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;wet nurse&lt;/a&gt; who directly breastfed, not handing somebody frozen milk. However, this is still done today. When I was nursing my daughter, another new mother had a double whammy: she had low production, and her child had a poor latch. A group of us provided our surplus until they were able to work out all the issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't happen to know a nursing mother who needs extra, it may be possible to find one through the internet. &lt;a href=&quot;http://milkshare.birthingforlife.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MilkShare&lt;/a&gt;, for example, is a &quot;connection point designed to give mothers who are unable to produce their own milk with some tools to explore private milk donation&quot;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.milkmatch.org/how.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Milk Match&lt;/a&gt; matches up donors and babies in need by zip code. (I found those in an article from 2008, so there may well be others by now; I mention them as examples, and have no experience with either site. Local LLL leaders or other nursing support may know of smaller local examples.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Formal donation to a milk bank.&lt;/strong&gt; Be aware that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/07/09/advantages-and-disadvantages-to-non-profit-and-for-profit-milk-banks/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;there are both non-profit and for-profit milk banks&lt;/a&gt;; think about which you would prefer to use. Many non-profit milk banks around the country are affiliated with Human Milk Banking Association of North America (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.hmbana.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;HMBANA&lt;/a&gt;); they will accept, pasteurize, and sell donor milk to hospitals for use by pre-term or very ill infants. (The charge to patients/hospitals covers the pasteurization and overhead costs of the milk bank.) Alternatively, for-profit milk banks will process and fortify donor milk and sell it to hospitals for use by pre-term or very ill infants; the cost for patients &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/07/02/the-difference-between-for-profit-and-non-profit-milk-banks/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;appears to be higher&lt;/a&gt;, though. In both cases, the milk donor isn't compensated for their milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm biased towards the non-profit model, and have linked to resources that also lean that way. It just feels... &lt;em&gt;nicer&lt;/em&gt; to me. That may not be an option depending on your geographic location or personal preference, though. Do what feels right for you — it's your milk :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether you're donating directly or to a milk bank, you should be mindful about what you're putting in your own body. Most breastfeeding mothers are careful of their diet anyway, but when the milk will be used by a baby whose allergies you don't know or who may be dealing with other physical stresses (e.g. an infant in the NICU), be &lt;em&gt;extra&lt;/em&gt; careful. Many milk banks have requirements for donors to take a blood test and not use nicotine or illegal drugs, for example. Informal donation is likely to have similar restrictions, although that depends on the family who wants the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side note: It's also possible to sell your milk yourself online, but customers are not limited to mothers buying breastmilk to feed babies. Some adults apparently like to drink it, too. Just mentioning it as a possibility: personally I'd much rather help an infant in need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additional resources for more reading and information:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvaprmay00p19.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Becoming a Donor to a Human Milk Bank&lt;/a&gt; (La Leche League International article)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/02/thinking-of-donating-your-breastmilk-read-this-first/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Thinking of Donating Your Breastmilk? Read This First.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T21:49:00.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5939" CreationDate="2015-10-22T23:12:22.993" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was 10-12 years old, I often ended up in the situation of being awake in a hotel room with my parents when they were having sex. Aside from having to lie very still for a long while when I urgently needed to get up to use the toilet, it didn't hurt me. I was mostly concerned that my parents not know that I was lying there awake and listening (it was dark so of course I could not see) through the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I often wondered why they could not wait a day or two until they got back home, or got a separate room for me and my younger brother (who always slept like a rock anyway)? I also suspected that my mother knew I was awake, but was in a difficult position, which is the main thing that bothered me, aside from waiting so long to get up to use the toilet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents always wanted me to go to bed too early, so by the time they went to bed, I needed to relieve myself. Nights when my father was very brusque and said &quot;go to bed!&quot; I always knew what was coming. Not very fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a way it caused me to lose respect for them, but I was not &quot;grossed out&quot; or thought it was weird or anything. I have never understood people being freaked out by knowing their parents have sex - they got born, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a direct answer for you because it was never dealt with and I did not have children. I guess I would just respond to whatever the child said or did. If they appeared to know and were not interested in talking about it, then I would not push it. As others have noted, children have survived for a million years knowing that their parents have sex. Thinking it is to be hidden or that there is something unusual about it is a &quot;modern problem&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user17408" LastActivityDate="2015-10-22T23:12:22.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22644" CreationDate="2015-10-23T00:37:11.807" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lets assume cartoon do stimulate unwanted behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if cartoons stimulate or lead to violence I am surprised that the world is not filled with more raving madmen. I turned out OK I think and so did most of my friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boys in particular get brought up with the notion that they will grow up to be a man which implies that they will be a protector/defender. Thus they probably identify and emulate behavior that in their limited understanding gives them the ability assert those ideas. Remember kids are quite keen on fairy tales were the blood of evil doers get spilled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the violent grown ups I have dealt with had emotional and physical abuse at home and generally did not watch much cartoons. Domestic violence and mental/emotional abuse are much more insidious than Tom getting hit over the head by Jerry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To place this into perspective more than 50% of the worlds population live in places where human rights abuses and violence is used an a form of the ultimate authority. There are a lot more children learning how to be violent in those places than the few that go complete Batman from Saturday morning cartoons. Children will emulate things that find funny or cool but they learn from the behavior of their parents, peers and the society and world around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19512" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T00:37:11.807" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16186" CreationDate="2015-10-23T08:15:58.050" Score="2" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Older films may be problematic, newer ones are better.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There has been an interesting shift in the portrayal of love and male-female relations in Disney movies over the years. Earlier films portrayed star-crossed lovers, a beautiful helpless princess rescued by a dashing prince, their love somehow predestined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might show these films, but you will need to explain their cultural context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More recent Disney films have been rather more nuanced and have emphasised the sacrificial nature of love. For example Frozen, where it is the love between the sisters that has power. Things don't go so well with the Prince, but it's the imperfect man who is willing to sacrifice his own happiness who ultimately ends up with the heroine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maleficent likewise: it's the love of the fairy for the child that has power. In both these films, the women are interesting and empowered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would say the early Disney films should be bookended with a little discussion about the way we used to think about marriage and women.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The newer Disney films I would say are almost entirely positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastEditorUserId="2126" LastEditDate="2015-10-23T08:32:05.273" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T08:32:05.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22707" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-23T14:12:18.157" Score="2" ViewCount="913" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two weeks ago, my wife gave birth to our 3.7 kg, 55 cm son. His weight dropped to 3.4 kg after the first day, because we did not feed him enough from breastfeeding. Fortunately, he gained back his birth weight on the 5th day with formula and we kept feeding him with the formula. We stopped breastfeeding on the 10th day. Around the 10th day, he weighed about 3.9 kg, and his weight steadily increased to 4.1 kg yesterday, the 14th day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things have gone well until yesterday. Our son has been crying way too frequently and sometimes the crying lasts 2-3 hours. In the end, we had to settle him by feeding him, and we are scared that we fed him too much. We usually feed him about 600-700 ml a day. But since he was crying so much and was short on sleep (10-12 hours), we have fed him about 750 ml of formula in the last 24 hours. After the exhausting night with little sleep (I believe the formula we gave was enough), his weight had dropped from 4.1 kg to 3.8 this morning, just slightly above his birth weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So now I am really worried about him. Any suggestion to my concern is greatly appreciated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19528" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-04T14:11:41.927" LastActivityDate="2019-09-18T16:02:36.003" Title="What to do when our 2-week-old baby sleeps little and cries a lot?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|crying|bottle-feeding|weight|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-23T14:19:10.077" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I very strongly doubt that using multiple languages around your child will cause any damage or problems, and I strongly suspect that in the long run this will be beneficial to your child. They may be cross-lingual (for example, using some Turkish or Kurdish words when conversing in Danish) on occasion, but as they become more fluent in a particular language they will learn to separate their use of these languages. When we are young we're genetically wired to learn languages, and it appears that your child will have a great opportunity to learn from you, your husband, your families, and the world at large. I suggest that you continue to use the languages you know as you have always used them, and don't make a big deal out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6398" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T14:19:10.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22707" CreationDate="2015-10-23T15:04:00.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding is always way better for the baby, health wise, so if possible I would start by switching back to breastfeeding, but of course there are sometimes reasons why this is not doable.  The other thing to try is switching to a lactose free formula.  Lots of babies are lactose intolerant.  They grow out of this quickly as their bodies start producing lactase (the enzyme that breaks down lactose - lactose is the sugar found in cow's milk).  A soy based formula works well.  One of our children was lactose intolerant (and still is at 17), and would throw up at every feeding, although we were only giving him one bottle a day and the other feedings were breastfeeding.  The thing was that his digestive system had become so messed up by the lactose, that he could no longer hold anything down.  When we switched him to lactose free, within two days, the problems cleared up.  Also, we always fed our children as much as they would take, and none of them have had any problems from that, that we can tell.  But also be ready to take him to a doctor.  It is entirely possible that the problem is unrelated to his eating, and the eating is just a pacifier that is helping him calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T15:04:00.913" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11515" CreationDate="2015-10-23T15:22:53.520" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just passing along an idea for anyone having to use the worst tasting med ever. I cut a little piece of gummy candy in half (mine is Starkist ? gummy). Then split it again and pushed the pill inside. These gummys are soft enough that I could then squeeze the top and bottom around the pill and they stayed stuck. I drank it right down with water (and I'm going to chase it with hot tea just to make sure it melts well). Success! NO awful taste!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19529" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T15:22:53.520" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-23T17:23:19.853" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to tell: Give importance to the language with more priority for you both. After a few years you speak with your child in the other language as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can identify both easily and can get knowledge of both the languages. Also, your whole family can feel comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19531" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-10-25T12:30:21.613" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T12:30:21.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12030" CreationDate="2015-10-23T21:30:11.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To the OP - i feel you. I'm in the exact same position. My son choked on a leaf early on and i am terrified of an encore. I was aiming for BLW but a combination of the choking event and a toothless 9 month old that shoves way too much food in his mouth at once has stopped that. I would also LOVE concrete answers to size and texture of &quot;pieces&quot; of food to try with my son. &#xA;Here's what has worked for us: roast fingers of sweet potato, potato and zucchini, then cut into cubes the size of a fingernail. My son squishes them with his pincers before popping into his mouth. The pieces are very smooshy. Same size pieces of mango, banana, mandarin, stewed pear and apple, smooshed blueberries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19536" LastActivityDate="2015-10-23T21:30:11.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-24T10:49:47.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might also want to think about the problem in terms of opportunity costs vs. future benefits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a Romanian native, and looking back to my high-school years, I'm grateful that I was taught English (the world's de-facto &lt;a href=&quot;http://wiki.dandascalescu.com/essays/english-universal-language&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;universal language&lt;/a&gt;) and French, instead of Russian, which had been mandatory until a few years earlier, while my country was under a communist regime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child spends X hours a day listening to Danish or Kurdish, that's X hours a day spent not listening to English, German, Spanish or French. &lt;strong&gt;There is a well-calculated &lt;a href=&quot;http://freakonomics.com/2014/03/06/is-learning-a-foreign-language-really-worth-it-a-new-freakonomics-radio-podcast/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;return on the investment of learning a language&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The annual ROI for native English speakers in the US on learning a foreign language is small: Spanish 1.5%, French 2.7%, German 4%. But only 1% of Americans claim they speak another language fluently (which suggests the number who actually do, is even smaller). 1/6 of the time spend in high school goes to learn foreign languages. So overall, learning foreign languages is an economic waste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16826" LastEditorUserId="16826" LastEditDate="2016-09-27T16:22:46.503" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T16:22:46.503" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22714" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-24T17:06:36.857" Score="18" ViewCount="14686" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been married for about 7 years, we have two sons, one is five years old and the other is eighteen months old. I disagree with the way my wife disciplines and reacts to our five year old when he misbehaves. He is no angel and often misbehaves and doesn't listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her demeanor towards him in general when she wants him to do something is very unpleasant, when getting him ready for school or for bed she barks orders at him like a drill instructor which he almost immediately defies. This then sparks off a series of escalations which results in both of them screaming at each other like it is two children having an argument instead of a child and an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also when they fight like this my wife compares him unfavorably to his younger brother, which I think is causing resentment towards his younger brother, and says things about him as a person instead of his behavior. &amp;quot;I've had enough of you&amp;quot; being something that is said daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is getting to the point now where he is only listening and doing as he is told when I am asking him, he is defiant of his mother all the time and when he is being punished by her, she is punishing him when she is still very angry and the punishments are not suitable IMO, often too harsh and numerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think she would do anything to hurt him but there are two incidents that I am concerned about and I don't know if I should be worried about them. She dislocated his elbow when she pulled him very hard by the arm towards her when he was disobeying her and another time she grabbed him by the forearm and squeezed it hard enough that her nails broke the skin and he had four nail shaped cuts on his forearm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried to talk to her about this situation but she cannot accept any criticism or advice, or ever admit she does things wrong and sees it as an attack on her and lashes out at whoever tries to help her. I think there might be some sort of personality disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not know what to do, I have been thinking about this for some time and cannot find any way I can change things, even if I go as far as leaving her she will almost certainly get custody of the children and the situation will continue. Any advice would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;--Update&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Been a few years since i posted this. We did end up getting divorced, she used every dirty trick in the book including false accusations of abuse towards her and the children and she did end up having full custody of the children for over 3 years (in which time he my eldest son cried every time he had to leave me after visitation). However, after a long and exhausting battle my eldest son is now living with me (since 2019), which is what he wants, and is much happier/less angry as a result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastEditorUserId="3460" LastEditDate="2022-07-27T14:16:19.570" LastActivityDate="2022-07-27T14:16:19.570" Title="My wife constantly loses her temper with our 5 year old son" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22657" CreationDate="2015-10-24T19:58:09.550" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you speak both languages your child might be confused, but if you speak Danish and your husband Turkish, your son/daughter may associate Danish with mom and Turkish with dad. Also, your child might learn 2 or even 3 languages (right from home), but there is a possibility your child will not learn them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19543" LastEditorUserId="19543" LastEditDate="2016-07-07T07:09:11.667" LastActivityDate="2016-07-07T07:09:11.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22718" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-25T01:03:34.577" Score="5" ViewCount="3423" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I'm not a parent myself, so I hope I'm not running afoul of any rules or anything. Hopefully I can tap into some of the experience here of those who are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've not been to any kid birthday parties since I've been one, lol. But my friends were nice enough to invite my to their daughter's 1st birthday party, and I'm good friends with both parents, so I'd be glad to go. The invitation doesn't specify anything about gifts one way, or the other. In this case, is it proper to arrive with a gift, or no?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT 10/27/15: I hope this is allowed, as I didn't want to be ungrateful, or comment on one, but not the other, but thank you all for your helpful responses! I had some ideas of what to get, knowing the couple of course, but I will ask them first (another thing I wasn't sure if it was appropriate or not). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19549" LastEditorUserId="19549" LastEditDate="2015-10-27T04:34:25.797" LastActivityDate="2017-12-30T16:10:41.310" Title="What should I get (if anything) for friend's daughter's 1st Birthday party?" Tags="|infant|birthday|etiquette|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22718" CreationDate="2015-10-25T08:52:30.557" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a one year old I think rattlers will be good .other than this any kind of toy that makes sound or musical dolls will be good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19386" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T08:52:30.557" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22722" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-25T11:39:31.610" Score="4" ViewCount="6571" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old son freaks out about washing of any kind.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't seem to be worried about going in the pool or bath, but just mention that it's shower/bath time he goes totally ballistic - the temper comes screaming and kicking.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He really hates it when the water touches his face or head.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There isn't an option of a bath as every house has only a shower. I've tried toys, games, singing. I feel I've done it all! I am at the last edge as he is in school now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19553" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-31T16:30:35.053" LastActivityDate="2018-08-31T16:30:35.053" Title="My 5-year-old son freaks over shower time!" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|hygiene|water|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22723" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22787" CreationDate="2015-10-25T11:42:59.953" Score="8" ViewCount="19431" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realise that I am an approval seeker. Other people's opinions affect me a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to understand what kind of childhood incidents lead to such a behaviour in adulthood and what can I do better to prevent my toddler from becoming an approval seeker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you say,  &quot;Love her unconditionally&quot;, I want to understand what that means. Do you mean that if she repeatedly lies to me, I should still love her unconditionally? Well, I can't love liars. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T15:57:19.180" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T11:15:51.283" Title="What childhood incidents cause the children to be approval seeking when they become adults?" Tags="|behavior|age-appropriate|social-development|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22724" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22752" CreationDate="2015-10-25T12:08:21.987" Score="2" ViewCount="487" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never faced this situation when I was a child. My father tells me that I didn't have a habit of asking for things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember asking for 2 things as a child. They were expensive so my parents refused and I didn't pester. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the situation has changed. We live in a big city. We are a middle class family, and have only one child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, when child says that I want this because my friends also have it, or I saw that thing in the shop and I like it so get it for me, how am I supposed to respond?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On what basis should I decide whether I should get the child what she wishes or not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not about any teenager. This is about a child who is grown up enough to ask for things but isn't grown up enough to understand that how money is earned and what can happen if we waste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child is currently 2 years 4 months old, so currently the situation is not applicable to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I decide not to get her the thing she asked for, then what would be the way to explain her why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T22:37:33.207" Title="How to decide whether I should buy whatever the child asks for?" Tags="|age-appropriate|money|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22725" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22726" CreationDate="2015-10-25T12:22:28.183" Score="1" ViewCount="142" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use this to blow my 2yo daughter's nose : &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/S3c6Y.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/S3c6Y.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;However, I always need someone's help to deal with her flailing arms, turning head and loud disapproval. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means I can't do it as often as necessary. Is there a way I can do this alone ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T15:44:53.220" Title="How does one blow a toddler's nose alone?" Tags="|toddler|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22725" CreationDate="2015-10-25T14:50:00.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The way I always did it was to cuddle them in very close across my body - almost in a breastfeeding position - so that one arm has not only control of the arms, and head, but can also hold the legs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are too big or strong, you can try swaddling first - then it is very easy. You just need to keep the head tucked in close, and put up with the disapproval :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T14:50:00.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22725" CreationDate="2015-10-25T15:44:53.220" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have your tried asking her to blow her nose with a tissue recently? My 21 month old can blow his nose if I hold the tissue in the right place for him. I discovered this when he got his first cold for a while when the weather started to get cooler. When he had colds before the summer when he was a bit younger, he couldn't blow his nose but when I explained it to him this time, he understood and managed to do it. We also demonstrated and he got the idea quite quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realise we are quite lucky with this and not all children can blow their own nose at this age. But I would think it's time to start encouraging her to give it a try. I can't imagine many 2 year olds still being that happy with a nasal aspirator. One thing that could help with the learning process is to do it after bath time when the mucus should be looser due to being in the steamy environment. You could also get her to practise blowing with her mouth to understand what it means to breath out hard, then transfer the technique to blowing through her nose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T15:44:53.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22718" CreationDate="2015-10-25T17:30:13.983" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Proper etiquette depends on a lot of factors - from country to this family's specific expectations. So it's really not easy to answer this part. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it is safe to just ask your friend. You can explain that you have never been to a first birthday and you are unsure whether gifts are &quot;done&quot; at such an occasion, or can just ask what gift you should bring. If no gift is expected your friend will probably tell you. And if one is expected, she can tell you what the child needs. This will eliminate the situation where you gift something the child already has, or that isn't age-appropriate, or that the parents don't want the child to have. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T17:30:13.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22707" CreationDate="2015-10-25T17:31:56.397" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If newborn child is crying, he/she is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pissed in trousers (use diapers!!!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or want to eat&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or feeling hot&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or feeling cold&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bet a 100 dollars that you wear him too much (overcare), and not feeding him when he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And try to change formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS. It may be such thing as abdominal pain. In Russia we call this &quot;колики&quot; (koliki), don't know how to translate this correctly. No one knows reason for this. It has a rule of three threes: starts on third week from birth, may continue up to age of three months, and may continue for three hours per day.&#xA;Using formula (instead of breastfeeding) worsens it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you know Russian (or can translate using Google Translate) check this site - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.komarovskiy.net/navigator/koliki.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.komarovskiy.net/navigator/koliki.html&lt;/a&gt; - of the best child doctor in the world (he's from Ukraine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19554" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T17:31:56.397" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10480" CreationDate="2015-10-25T18:10:31.523" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children don't want to sleep because they simply NOT TIRED.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go outdoor and walk with them, play with them for hour and more.&#xA;If it is bad weather - never mind, GO OUTDOOR and walk with them.&#xA;They will be tired and literally fall sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19554" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T18:10:31.523" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5701" CreationDate="2015-10-25T18:22:46.887" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found this cute craft that really helped my kids clean up after themselves: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.monomachines.com/shop/kids-craft-ideas#soot&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.monomachines.com/shop/kids-craft-ideas#soot&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;they had fun making it, and it encouraged them to keep their rooms clean!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19555" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T10:53:27.217" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T10:53:27.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22736" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22745" CreationDate="2015-10-25T20:42:47.300" Score="7" ViewCount="1659" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 8 months old. She puts her hand in her mouth a lot. Afraid of germs, my wife is trying to avoid this by removing her hands from her mouth. 2 minutes later she puts it again in her mouth! This is very exhausting for us, because we have to keep an eye on her 24 h/day. How to solve this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19557" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-02T12:24:25.830" LastActivityDate="2019-08-09T18:36:27.190" Title="How to keep our infant's hands out of her mouth?" Tags="|infant|discipline|safety|mouthing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22737" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22718" CreationDate="2015-10-25T23:19:17.003" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For my son's first birthday party, we invited quite a few friends, including some without children. We asked them not to bring gifts as our son already got plenty of things from us, our family and close friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several people gave us a gift instead which wasn't necessary but we found it a nice gesture. You could do that. Something like a nice bottle of wine, if they drink, chocolates or similar. We also received some gift vouchers which was good as we could choose something for us or our son that we know we needed. The child will be too young to appreciate what gift they got and from who or even the fact that they are supposed to get gifts. So you risk getting something they don't need or like for little benefit. Getting a token gift for the parents shows you've made an effort and if it's edible or drinkable, it won't take up space in the house for too long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-10-25T23:19:17.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22685" CreationDate="2015-10-26T01:31:32.690" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on how old your child is, consider first the possibility that you may need that milk later (a cautionary tale).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife was a huge over-producer when we had our baby girl, to the point where a lot of the milk had to be expressed and simply thrown away somehow. We started looking into donating her breast milk, but meanwhile started freezing it in sterilised ice cube trays, then putting these cubes into containers in our chest freezer. We managed to save up several kgs of milk this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our chest freezer is set to around -18 degrees celcius, and we had been assured by the nurses that the milk would store for up to six months at that kind of temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, while we were looking into how to donate this milk, my wife became ill, and her supply dropped right down (to the point where we couldn't adequately feed our girl straight from the breast anymore). The best advice we got from the nurses to help the supply come back was, even when it was feeling like we should just give up, &lt;em&gt;keep on trying to feed our girl from the breast&lt;/em&gt;, and try to express at other times in the day with a pump. Not much ever came out, but the fact that her breasts kept getting this &quot;demand&quot; from both the pump and the baby would in time cause the supply to come back up to meet the demand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While my wife was regaining her health and supply, the large amount of frozen-milk-cubes we'd built up in the freezer had suddenly become a godsend. During each attempted feed which only gave our girl a small amount of milk, I'd be warming up a few milk-cubes in a bottle sitting in warm water, which we'd give to her when her feed from her mum was complete. By the time her supply had come back in full, we were almost reaching the last cubes we had frozen and put away (very lucky timing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, it all worked out in the end. My wife's supply came back to match our girl's needs, and at 14 months old, she's still getting a morning breastfeed immediately after waking up each day, before getting solids for the other hours she's awake. But at the time, if we hadn't managed to put away our own milk, we would've had to look into getting milk from other people (or using formula as the supplement, which we didn't want to do).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side-note, if you go to do this, figure out how many millilitres are in each milk-cube on average. The cubes created by our ice cube trays turned out to be (on average) around 10 mls each, and knowing this made it easy to know how many cubes to warm up to feed our girl (e.g. need 30, 40, 50mls for a feed? We'd simply warm up 3, 4, or 5 cubes respectively).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absolutely donate &lt;em&gt;as well&lt;/em&gt;, but I'd recommend freezing some for yourself, just in case. It's unlikely that this will happen to you too, but it's nice to be prepared for unexpected eventualities. Of course, if you've already been breastfeeding your child for some time and you're still over-producing, I'll direct you to the answer from Erica for actual advice on donating. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16077" LastEditorUserId="16077" LastEditDate="2015-10-26T01:59:10.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T01:59:10.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22722" CreationDate="2015-10-26T03:30:50.190" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only solution I can think of is to get a bucket of water and give him a sponge bath. It may not be the best solution but it is the only one i can think of. Hope it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19560" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-26T11:17:55.073" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T11:17:55.073" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22714" CreationDate="2015-10-26T03:43:05.790" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a person who has bipolar, it sounds like she possibly has some sort of disorder like even bipolar. But for a grown woman to scream at a child like that is not normal, and for her to in any way physically hurt your child, you need to ask yourself something, do you really think that it is healthy for her to treat your child like this? She also seems to be escalating to physical violence, you need to tell her either she gets help or she can lose her children. Your first priority should always be your child's safety. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19560" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T03:43:05.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22742" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-26T07:57:38.947" Score="2" ViewCount="890" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://travel.stackexchange.com/questions/100/how-should-i-deal-with-beggars-in-india&quot;&gt;Beggar problem in India is real&lt;/a&gt;. I do not give anything to beggars in order to discourage begging. My mother does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want the child to think that I am cruel and it is okay not to help the needy.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The child is currently 2 years 4 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When &lt;em&gt;(at what age of the child)&lt;/em&gt; should I start getting concerned about dealing with beggars in front of the child?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How to deal with beggars in front of the child?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What should the child be told about me not giving anything to the beggars?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What should the child be told about my mother giving money to the beggars?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am yet to find a place here where there are no beggars, so avoiding such places is not possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we don't carry food around to give to the beggars. I tried to give food to a beggar once, she threw it down and moved on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am an Indian - if it matters at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:52:14.960" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T14:06:47.283" Title="How to deal with beggars in front of the children?" Tags="|parents|age-appropriate|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22743" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-26T08:25:19.407" Score="6" ViewCount="1389" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what age do children start having permanent memory of incidents such as mother slapping her very hard, father reading her stories, doing drawing and other crafts, meeting an accident?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the maximum long term memory at what age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example: My child is currently 2 years 4 months old. I read her story books daily. Will she remember this when she is 32?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-27T06:38:13.117" LastActivityDate="2017-04-18T08:07:15.987" Title="From what age do children start having permanent memory of incidents, and what is the maximum long term memory at what age?" Tags="|toddler|infant|pre-schooler|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22722" CreationDate="2015-10-26T09:56:05.967" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try not to shower his head, if he does not like it. My daughter also hates showering her face (as most children, I think), and when showering, we avoid her face, and use any kind of recipient to wash her hair without soaking her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you try to adopt that method, you should promise your child that you will not shower his face when showering, and maybe do not even try to wash his hair the first couple of times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13212" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T09:56:05.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22736" CreationDate="2015-10-26T09:57:40.603" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;People haven't been aware of germs until only recently (what's a 100 years in the entire history of human race?). With all the medicine available to cure most common sicknesses you should encourage your child to familiarize its immune system with common bacteria.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The general idea behind this approach is related to the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygiene_hypothesis&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Hygiene hypothesis&lt;/a&gt; (lots of information in this link). For example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/d2n-stopping-germs-12/kids-and-dirt-germs&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;you trade more diarrheas at early age for better health later in life&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eating feces or dangerous chemicals shouldn't happen, of course, but absorbing some home dust, some sand and dirt will, in the long term, make your child healthier and more resistant to disease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, &lt;strong&gt;be reasonable&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;em&gt;Some&lt;/em&gt; dust, &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; sand, &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; germs are perfectly OK. Boil the pacifier once a week, not twice per day. Wash hands after coming back from outside and before meals, and not every hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider this: Since children are still putting their hands in their mouths, after hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, isn't it most likely the &quot;good&quot; thing to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, remember that &lt;strong&gt;newborns and infants discover the world largely with their mouth&lt;/strong&gt;. As much as it seems unintuitive for us adults, that's the case. By removing their hands (and other things) from their mouth you actually reduce the amount of stimuli they experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T06:12:14.883" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T06:12:14.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22742" CreationDate="2015-10-26T11:29:49.593" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;What about stepping away from the begging issue and doing a seperate activity with your children to encourage charity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I'm in the US so my examples may not line up exactly.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Donate some old cloths or household supplies to the Salvation Army (or similar).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Work at a soup kitchen or bring food to one.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use your job/skills to do something for free for someone who cant afford it. For example if you are in IT help someone write there resume; or if your a barber go cut someones hair that needs it etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give away your dinner leftovers to someone in need instead of giving them cash.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could even ask your kids to think of some ideas of how you can help the community and do some ideas that they suggest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this way you can lead by example even if you do not choose to give money to someone on the street.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T11:29:49.593" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22748" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22783" CreationDate="2015-10-26T13:11:59.937" Score="6" ViewCount="234" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to decrease the toy chaos and make it simpler to involve my 20 month old daughter in picking up her toys, without creating a system that is too complicated.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We currently have 6 small bins/boxes in our living room for toys and books. Each night I end up throwing all her toys randomly into the boxes. Not entirely randomly I guess - we have one larger bin for stuffed animals, one specifically for books, and the rest goes in the 4 remaining boxes. I bought 4 small boxes rather than 1 or 2 large ones so that I could take away two of them and rotate them out every month or so, but have yet to implement this idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throwing all the toys quickly back into boxes after bedtime has definitely seemed the quickest way to restore order to our house, but it's also a bit tough for her because multi-part toys get mixed up in different boxes, and it's a bit tough for me because sometimes we just let the chaos sit - it seems so pointless if it's all going to be thrown on the floor the next morning. I think it would be a good skill for her to learn to pick up her own toys someday (soon!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a better procedure and physical setup to organize toys? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T06:28:53.607" Title="What is a good system of organizing toys?" Tags="|toddler|parents|toys|cleaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22714" CreationDate="2015-10-26T13:21:16.650" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you have described is well within the standards for child abuse.  I am the first to encourage disciplining a child, even spanking, but this should never be done in anger.  What I tell my children is that if they are angry, they should not even touch the other person.  An adult should know better.  By your own accounts, she has twice now inflicted physical harm on the child - a dislocated elbow is really bad, and I am tempted to think that the fingernails digging in was no accident, but accident or not, this is clearly physical abuse.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Further, the yelling and personal attacks that you describe are well within the bounds of emotional abuse.  In our house, we have some rules.  One of them is &quot;never compare one person to another&quot;, and another is &quot;never make 'you are' type statements.&quot;  You can criticize what a person did, and say how it hurt you or why you think the action is wrong, but the minute you say &quot;you are...&quot; you are attacking their identity, the core of their being, not just their actions.  This is abusive and wrong.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;You can rest assured that the wounds and scars your wife has inflicted on your child will haunt him for the rest of his life.  You need to stop this.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I would strongly advise you to report all this to child protective services.  Record one of the shouting matches and take this to the authorities before your child suffers further damage.  Report to them the instances of physical abuse.  You must have medical records from the time his elbow was dislocated.  If it was just the shouting matches, I might have advised differently, but this is obviously out of control and will only get worse.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Together with the authorities, you can put a lot more pressure on your wife to get some help.  Either she stops this and gets treatment for whatever problems she is having, or she will lose the kids - with proof of child abuse, it is basically impossible that she would be given custody of the children.  But, be ready to be there for your wife and help her through this.  With help, she could come out of this a better, stronger woman, with more peace than she ever thought possible.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I know that going to CPS is very scary - I have been there, and it was super-scary, even though my wife was not the abuser.  I cannot imagine what it is like for you.  You have a tough road ahead, but you must move to protect your child immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-10-26T14:55:37.027" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T14:55:37.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22742" CreationDate="2015-10-26T14:06:47.283" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would just keep doing whatever you do to deal with them now.  At some point your child will ask you about it (if not, you can bring it up too).  Then just explain to them what you did and why.  Then if you do things to help them indirectly, point those out as well.  You can then involve your child in those activities if it is appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an example, if it were me and my child, I would explain that I don't give money directly to beggars because I've seen many of them spend it on things that won't really help them (usually alcohol, etc.) and I would rather give the money to a homeless shelter.  That way the beggars can have a warm place to sleep and I know the money won't be wasted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the subject of how you mom handles beggars comes up (and it will, kids notice these things) you (or your mom) can explain her feelings and reasons for acting as she does.  Don't paint your mom's actions as &quot;wrong&quot;, they are just a different way of handling things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as they understand the reasons both you and your mom have for dealing with beggars, when they are old enough they will be well equipped to make their own decision about how they want to handle it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T14:06:47.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22751" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22724" CreationDate="2015-10-26T14:19:24.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For me personally with my daughter (3years) it is always a situation based decision with the fine grain of balance of spoiling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally I ask why exactly she wants to have it. Maybe she can borrow it from a friend. Maybe it is something she can play with when the friend is over. Its amazing how often this is satisfying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the wish is too big for &quot;ok hop on, we take the bike to the next shop&quot;, then I explain that she can put it on her birthday / christmas / &amp;lt; any other event &gt; list and then she might get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the wish is small and will make her happy and dont ruin me, I normally agree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I cannot decide and none of the above is suiting - I tell her to talk to mummy ;-)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: In case the decision is a clear &quot;no&quot; you can try to explain your decision (dont lie, tell exactly why you dont want her to have it). The final argument is then always &quot;because we say so&quot; - might be harsh but depending on the understanding of the kid the most working solution, that (and this is the point) dont leave the kid in uncertainness or doubt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19565" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T14:19:24.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22724" CreationDate="2015-10-26T15:07:21.610" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even a 2 year old is capable of learning about budgeting.  While she probably doesn't really comprehend &quot;saving&quot; yet, it is something you can work on simply by giving her some money, and talking about choices.  Talking about the difference between buying a small, cheap toy now, versus saving some money until she can afford a larger, more interesting toy, helps, even if it doesn't immediately lead to her choosing to save; over time, she'll understand, particularly when she gets frustrated that she doesn't have the money for the larger toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting an allowance - i.e., a certain amount per week set aside to buy things for her that she wants - is one good way to do this.  Even if you're not handing her the money yet (since she's too young to actually have coins yet), you can still define this allowance - effectively, the &quot;buy things for your child&quot; budget.  That amount should grow over time - both because older children want more expensive things, and because it's good to give them control over more of their expenses (thus, allowing them to choose to spend more in one area than another - one core concept of budgeting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you only have one child (and only intend to have one child), then you can set the budget to whatever you consider reasonable.  Perhaps start with what you would normally spend buying her toys/etc. that she didn't ask for; take that annual amount, divide by 52.  Discuss it with her, and let her know when she has an opportunity to spend some of it.  At 2, you're going to control those opportunities; as she gets older, she'll have more opportunities to define when and where she spends her money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have more than one child, as I do, you have to decide how to equitably set allowances at different ages.  My parents tended to give us all the same allowance, regardless of age difference - it was based on their ability to give us money.  That felt unfair, as the eldest.  For our children, we give an age-based allowance; some fixed amount times their age, so (for example) a 4 year old gets $4, a 8 year old gets $8, etc., adjusted for ability to pay and parental preferences (so maybe you prefer $.50*age per week, or $2*age per week, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T15:07:21.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22748" CreationDate="2015-10-26T15:13:37.260" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mostly, your system is already good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, your main problem is, how to get the child accustomed to cleanup - which seems like a completely different question (which I won't answer here but I encourage you to ask in a separate post)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Minor fine-tuning ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure the books are stacked verically in the box. This way, she can try and get the book out that she wants, without spilling all the books on top of it&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lego-type toys go in the separate box(es).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Larger lego type (Megablocks), assemble them in big stacks. It's fun for you to do and very zen too; and fun for your child to break up in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mostly, sort toys (outside Lego and soft and books) by size. Large toys one place, smaller in a single bin.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T15:13:37.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22722" CreationDate="2015-10-26T15:29:50.170" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From experience, there are 6 main problems that may cause this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Psychological: fear of inhaling water.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be addressed by showing how to hold breath and breathe out; and only have head under shower for brief (10-20 second) intervals.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unpleasant feeling of water getting into ears.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be addressed by either using swimmer's gear to plug the ears while showering; or leaning/teaching to carefully hold the water under shower stream in a way that water doesn't enter the ear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, teach how to easily de-water an ear by turning the head to the side and jumping up/down.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unpleasant feeling of water or shampoo getting into eyes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach them to close the eyes when under the shower; and to shower by touch if needed. Teach them to squeeze the water out of hair after washing hair so it doesn't drip down into the eyes. Let them have a dry paper towel mid-shower to dry out the eyes (my kid insists on it and it helps calm him down 100% of time).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Unpleasant feeling of water or shampoo getting into mouth/nose&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pretty much same solution (and similar issue, but physical) as #1. Show how to hold breath and breathe out; and only have head under shower for brief (10-20 second) intervals.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shower tickles a lot&lt;/strong&gt;. Sometimes other unpleasant tactile feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Change the jet settings on the shower head. teach them to pour water on their hand and let it pour from hand to the body. Change distance from shower head to skin. Lessen water pressure (or up it, if it's too gentle and that's what's causing tickling). Change water stream angle/direction.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shower water temperature is unpleasant&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adjust the temperature to what they wish (within reason).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorDisplayName="user19768" LastEditDate="2015-11-24T02:14:56.940" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T02:14:56.940" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22748" CreationDate="2015-10-26T15:44:43.397" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you have a reasonable system for a 20m old, but as they get more types of toys you might consider placing them into categories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like mentioned in another answer, we keep all Lego and Duplo blocks separate (we don't allow Megablocks in our house! :) ), and the remaining toys fall into rough categories:  Dolls, Animals, Cooking, Educational, etc.  The categories are more conceptual and tend to morph to fit the current collection of toys.  One benefit is that multi-part toys tend to fall into the right bin because we know what &quot;category&quot; it is pretty quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get to strict, you end up with 10 bins, so the key is to &quot;do what you can&quot; but don't try to hard to stick to any rigid set of rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11940" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T15:44:43.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22724" CreationDate="2015-10-26T17:25:00.097" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my four year old, who was constantly asking for things, I started carrying a small notebook in my purse.  When she found something else she had to have, I would make a deal of writing it down on her list.  Amazingly, the majority of the time, hearing that we aren't shopping for that right now, but I will write it down on your list, actually satisfied her and we continue shopping with no further mention of that particular item.  Come birthdays and Christmas, I would take the list and pull out some of the more recent and reasonable items, then let her go through the reduced list and pick a few things that we should get then, so she would know I really was using her list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T17:25:00.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22758" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22760" CreationDate="2015-10-26T18:25:50.383" Score="4" ViewCount="22498" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure when I should start using my freezer stash... I am an over producer and am pumping more milk than my baby is consuming, so while I am at work I leave bottles of fresh milk for him and freeze the rest. My freezer stash is getting out of control and I have had to buy a separate mini freezer to store it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that some women start to use their frozen milk when they go out or run out of fresh milk, but if I am producing enough fresh milk when to give him while I am at work and still have extra — when do I start using the frozen milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19507" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-26T13:38:07.883" LastActivityDate="2019-01-26T13:38:07.883" Title="When should I start using my frozen stash of breastmilk?" Tags="|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22714" CreationDate="2015-10-26T18:42:27.387" Score="12" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I do not know what to do, I have been thinking about this for some time and cannot find anyway I can change things, even if I go as far as leaving her she will almost certainly get custody of the children and the situation will continue. any advice would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife either has a personality disorder, she comes from an emotionally abusive home (and this is all she knows), or both. You cannot &quot;change&quot; her behavior. Only she can do that, and only if she &quot;wants to&quot; (i.e. has a good reason to.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A dislocated elbow happens to a lot of kids in the same manner that you described, and it is not an actionable offense. It's called a nursemaid's elbow, and it happens because young children's elbows are prone to it. I don't think there's a judge in the land who would take kids away for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fingernails breaking the skin, though, is a different matter. It really does indicate the extent of her inability to control her actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What to do depends on you. Your child, as pointed out by others, is being emotionally abused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are staying because you think your children are better off with two parents, you need to rethink this. Your child is suffering, and it will affect him his entire life. Something needs to change for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you would gladly leave to save your kids, but are afraid of losing custody, start gathering evidence now. Use a recording device when she starts losing it. Store the evidence where she can't erase it. Contact a good lawyer. Follow their advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are hoping to keep things together and just want her to change, look back on your experience. If nothing has worked before, that should tell you something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck with this difficult situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T18:42:27.387" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22758" CreationDate="2015-10-26T19:27:15.853" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When to start using frozen milk depends on when the milk was pumped. This is because of two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The nutritional content of milk changes over time. This is most significant when comparing milk from the first couple weeks to milk after a few months (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18567/4054&quot;&gt;see this more thorough answer&lt;/a&gt;), so if you're using milk from when the baby was only days old, you should mix it with &amp;quot;now&amp;quot; milk to get a better nutritional balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE: It's not &lt;em&gt;bad&lt;/em&gt; for the baby to drink milk from a different lactation period, it just isn't quite as well-balanced nutritionally. Also, once you're well into the &amp;quot;mature&amp;quot; lactation phase there's not as significant a difference over time (e.g., milk from Month 3 and Month 4 are approximately the same).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;More importantly:&lt;/strong&gt; Milk can spoil, even when frozen. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/faq/milkstorage.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Depending on the freezer type, 3 to 6 months.&lt;/a&gt;) Use the oldest milk first, and discard if it's older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from that, there's not really a hard and fast rule beyond &amp;quot;what works best for you.&amp;quot; When I went back to work with my youngest, I brought along bottles of breastmilk for him that were about 2/3 frozen, 1/3 fresh. That was roughly based on my supply, both what I could pump daily and what I had in my freezer. It would sometimes change over time. For example, Mondays might be as much as 1/3 fresh, 2/3 frozen if I'd had a very productive weekend. There were some days that were all frozen milk because of a storage mishap with the fresh-pumped milk. A half-and-half ratio would allow you to &amp;quot;cycle&amp;quot; your milk (freeze half of what you pump each day, and you'll basically always be feeding half fresh and half two-months-old milk).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T19:27:15.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22758" CreationDate="2015-10-26T19:27:41.783" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you're going to need to either donate or toss some of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, hopefully you're rotating your stock (i.e., sometimes freezing all of it and giving him during the day frozen older milk).  Milk in the freezer lasts for a fairly long time, but not indefinitely; Medela for example recommends &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/tips-and-solutions/11/collection-and-storage-of-breastmilk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;6-12 months&lt;/a&gt;, and that assumes you followed good practices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also verify from time to time that frozen milk is still acceptable to your child.  Various reasons - particularly, lipase levels, poor storage practices, freezer defrost cycles, for example - can cause it to go 'off' faster; and sometimes your child is just more sensitive.  Make sure he's still happy to eat your milk frozen - otherwise there's not much value to keeping it in the freezer, is there?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, the most likely reason you might need a significant storage quantity is if you get sick.  If you catch a sinus infection, for example, both the infection itself and the medicines you may need to take to treat it may reduce your supply - or you may wish to take medicines you'd prefer him not ingest, and then not feed him at all (just pumping and tossing) for the week or so it takes to treat the infection.  (Talk to your doctor before taking any medicine that's not approved for breastfeeding mothers, even &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; you choose to toss the milk - some medicines may have metabolites that last longer than you think.)  In any event, that's when you're most likely to need the excess; so I would keep enough for a full week's feeding at least.  How much more than that is up to your preference and your storage abilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, you may wish to think about whether you're likely to take a trip without him - either for work or vacation - which would necessitate using stored milk for an extended period of time while his caretaker (dad, grandma/grandpa, etc.) feeds him from the frozen supply.  If you travel regularly, you may need a higher stash than normal to avoid needing to ship milk back (which can get expensive).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But either way, make sure you've got usable milk - it would be very frustrating to finally need it, and find that your son doesn't like it or that you have a higher lipase level than normal and the milk goes off quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T19:27:41.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22763" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22764" CreationDate="2015-10-26T20:21:36.207" Score="3" ViewCount="1599" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 18 months daughter has phases of extreme pain that we attribute to teething. The doctor advised painkillers, which we give her when we can. She indeed has molars coming out and tends to touch her mouth, but the crises are so intense that we are wondering if this can be caused by teething only. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In these crises (which usually last 30m~2h) she:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Screams very loud, face all red&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Won't sit or stand, will roll on the floor arching herself convulsively&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes bangs her head against or kicks walls and furniture while on the floor&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cannot be calmed by anything (even things she's usually very interested in)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Doesn't have any fever, doesn't vomit&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that there is pain, because this sometimes wakes her up at night. This is very different from when she's crabby or frustrated by something, we can tell by the intensity and the duration of the crises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people we know either say things like &quot;teething can make them quite crabby&quot; but this doesn't describe what our daughter is experiencing. I'm sure the pain caused by teething varies a lot from child to child, and same goes for how they manifest it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is: do you know if crises like these can be explained by teething only? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7242" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T01:02:46.517" Title="How bad can teething pain be?" Tags="|toddler|teething|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22763" CreationDate="2015-10-26T20:54:42.000" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to say that's it's &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; teething pain, as that's an evaluation your physician would have to make. However, it is definitely possible that this is just the reaction to teething pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An 18-month-old doesn't have much exposure to pain in general, and when they're cutting teeth the pain can be both intense or enduring. It can interrupt their normal rest times (naps, sleep), which can further lower their tolerance. The combination of low exposure and low tolerance can make your child very unhappy and uncomfortable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People will likely describe the child as &quot;crabby&quot;. When it comes to parenting, it seems common for people to underplay the difficulties parents face. If we're going to be realistic, teething pain is probably the most pain an average infant will face, barring accidents. The closest my oldest came to similar pain was from a set of intramuscular immunization shots, but even that discomfort was temporary and tolerable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help deal with the pain, there are some more methods mentioned here that I would recommend: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4714/11394&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/4714/11394&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had success with putting wet washcloths inside of plastic bags (like Ziploc), and freezing them, and also cold carrots. We also used infant Orajel when the discomfort was the worst.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If these methods help at all, then it is most likely just teething pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another strategy is to provide the child some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/baby/1010/successful-pain-relief-for-babies-using-sugar-water.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;sugar water (sucrose water) for pain relief&lt;/a&gt;. This worked well for us sometimes. Other times we still had to use Tylenol (acetaminophen). On bad days, we'd usually end with a dose of Tylenol before bed to help sleeping be more successful. When an infant/toddlers awakens from pain in the middle of the night, they can be inconsolable and unwilling to accept anything to help pain relief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sugar water and Tylenol could also alleviate other pain, so they wouldn't help narrow down whether or not this is teething pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another side-effect of teething pain could be &lt;em&gt;hunger&lt;/em&gt;. If the child is uncomfortable while eating, they may eat less, and then end up hungry and uncomfortable, which could compound their pain. We tried focusing on cold-serve foods to help alleviate the pain and ensuring our son ate enough. (For us, there were times when it was evident he wasn't eating because of the pain, even though he was hungry.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you're truly concerned, make sure you're checking in with your child's physician, especially if you plan on using medicine regularly.&lt;/strong&gt; You may not need an actual appointment, but just to give a call in. Our pediatrician was okay with it, and provided us a dosage for the Tylenol that was specific to our child. It was a lower dose than the minimum showed on the bottle. (In fact, the bottle should say to consult a physician for children under 2). They provided us this information over the phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T21:26:47.813" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22765" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23862" CreationDate="2015-10-26T22:14:04.363" Score="8" ViewCount="290" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son likely needs (tympanostomy) tubes for his ears for chronic ear infections. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was wondering what I need to know about them and maintaining them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, I know it can limit your swimming activities unless special earplugs are worn. Does it affect bath time? Are those earplugs expensive? Are other activities affected? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I'm not concerned with the procedure itself&lt;/em&gt;, or seeking advice on whether or not to have the procedure done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned with lifestyle adjustments, inconveniences and extra costs that may be associated with tubes, so that we can prepare mentally and financially for this situation. In general, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/help/on-topic&quot;&gt;any health, hygiene and safety considerations&lt;/a&gt; I should be aware of. Specifically, the kinds of adjustments or inconveniences parents discover during the course of this, that general knowledge wouldn't prepare you for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-02-03T01:51:50.607" Title="What should I consider when getting tympanostomy tubes (grommets) for my child?" Tags="|health|money|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22724" CreationDate="2015-10-26T22:37:33.207" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found that I very good way to deal with this was to give an &quot;allowance&quot;.  However, I was faced with the problem that my four year old son always wanted to spend his allowance on things that I didn't want him to have (ie, candy.  Always candy)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So instead of giving money, I decided to give a symbol of money.  I spray painted a roll of pennies gold and called them treasure pennies.  I gave them to my children for routine chores (brushing teeth thoroughly, cleaning room, etc) and also for extra jobs (help clean garage, wash windows, etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way I got to adjust the value of a thing based in part on how much I didn't want them to have the item (books got a lot better rate of exchange than candy).  One added benefit that I discovered was that whenever we went to a store and my son asked &quot;Can I have that...&quot; I just asked him &quot;Do you have enough treasure pennies to buy it?&quot; and even from a early age he was able to understand that he had control over whether he got a treat, simply by how many other treats he had &quot;purchased&quot; beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This takes the responsibility off you and puts it on them (I'm sorry you don't have enough...I guess it wasn't a good choice to buy that candy bar yesterday).  It also allows them to exercise control and take responsibility (Mom, what can I do to earn more pennies?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, two is a little young to understand the value of money, but it is something you might think about introducing in a year or two.  And in the meantime, if you have a reason not to want to give it to her, it is probably enough that you just tell her she can't have it, and offer something else as a diversion (&quot;No candy...look at these nice grapes) (&quot;No, you can't have that...shall we go to the park after we are done shopping?) if you are afraid she will turn fussy.  &quot;Reasons&quot; don't mean much to a child that young, especially if they have to do with money or something else that the child has no experience with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T22:37:33.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22723" CreationDate="2015-10-26T23:15:59.750" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;All I can give you is an example of personal experience.  My husband is an approval seeker.  I am not.  His mother praised him lavishly most of the time, even when he didn't deserve it.  I think he spends his life trying to get back that unrealistic level of approval.  My parents almost never gave me approval, only criticism, so I learned not to even seek it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also have a long time friend who is a very strong approval seeker; her mother constantly criticized her.  From this I can only draw the conclusion that people are so complicated that you cannot take a simple set of rules and apply to all.  Everyone has a vastly different genetic makeup that interacts with their external environment to produce a unique person with a complicated set of flaws and strengths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But this is all beside the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should rethink your attitude toward your toddler's behavior.  You should not love lying (the act) but you must assure your child that you will always love her (the child).  If you cannot separate a person from their actions you will become very critical person.  Unconditional love is for people, not for actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you only love people who do no wrong, you will be a very unloving person.  There is no-one who does not do wrong at some time, and children are not &lt;em&gt;expected&lt;/em&gt; to know wrong from right until they are taught to do so, and they cannot be taught until they are old enough to understand.  Punishing a child for doing something when they cannot understand why they are being punished is essentially no better than giving them random slaps and expecting them to learn something positive from the experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To specifically address your example, a toddler is not old enough to understand what a lie is. (AACAP: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aacap.org/aaCaP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Lying-044.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Children and Lying&lt;/a&gt;) (Parenting.com: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/why-kids-lie-age-by-age&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Why Kids Lie Age By Age&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also recommend that you think about getting some counseling.  We all have wounds gained from our childhoods.  It is good that you realize that you are an approval seeker; the first step toward healing from those wounds is being able to identify them.  Being an approval seeker is not in itself an entirely bad thing, it is when your need for approval causes you to behave in ways that harm others and your relationships with others that it becomes a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I read your words, I hear anger there.  You must understand that we often have much anger inside us, and that the anger often comes out against those who do not deserve the anger.  This is not meant as a criticism against you, it is my desire that you hear your own anger and hurt and find a way to face it and maybe heal from it.  Please find a counselor if you can afford it, and if not please find books written by people whose experiences and feelings resonate with your own.  Often what they have written about their emotional journeys can help you with your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-27T13:46:54.260" LastActivityDate="2015-10-27T13:46:54.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22765" CreationDate="2015-10-26T23:20:08.880" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son had grommets, they were needed since his adenoids blocked his Eustachian tubes. He would get frequent infections that totally blocked his tubes, leading his inner ear to fill with liquid. This reduced his hearing significantly. Children's Eustachian tubes often are not fully developed until the age of 8. There is a simple check that a doctor can do to see if the tubes are blocked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until the grommets fell out (about 6 months later), he had to wear a swimming cap every time he went swimming (pool water is so not clean) and we had be be careful giving him a shower so water would not get in his ears. Beyond that, we didn't have to do anything special.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In rare cases, the grommets can leave a permanent hole in the ear drum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T23:20:08.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22722" CreationDate="2015-10-26T23:30:19.190" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try getting a long shower hose attachment so that he has more control about where the water goes.  That way he will be able to wash his body without water getting on his face.  After a while he will probably start experimenting with allowing water to touch his face.  Everyone is able to be bolder when they feel they are in control of the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also might be somewhat claustrophobic?  I know that showers, especially small or dark ones, make me somewhat uncomfortable and I'm not generally claustrophobic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he use the showers at the pool?  If so, you might take that opportunity to wash his hair.  If that isn't an option, try the bucket in the sink, or a faucet-hose attachment so he can direct the water to dampen hair and rinse off the soap himself.  And use no-tears shampoo, in case his eyes are sensitive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-10-26T23:30:19.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22771" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22775" CreationDate="2015-10-27T03:17:56.853" Score="14" ViewCount="927" Body="&lt;p&gt;I come from a house where no one talked about anything except paying electricity bills, rent, or studies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was never asked questions about myself, my social life, friends or lack of them etc. My parents never told me anything about their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want my child to share her sorrows and joys with me so I think I will have to start first by telling her about myself. This way I will set an example that it is normal to talk about your life to parents and vice versa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age should this be started? What is the way to start this? What should and shouldn't I talk about?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T03:34:31.450" Title="How much should you tell your children about your sorrows and joys?" Tags="|parents|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22772" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-27T07:32:42.287" Score="5" ViewCount="4727" Body="&lt;p&gt;All my life I was told by my parents that sweets are not good for your health because they cause cavities in your teeth. It never affected me because I thought that after eating sweets if I brush my teeth properly then the cavities won't be there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only after I turned 32, I studied the real reason why refined sugar is bad for health, and side effects of preservatives etc. Refined sugar is addictive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The explanations I read were totally scientific. I am not a science student myself so found it difficult to understand. Nevertheless I trusted these sources because they were credible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ever since I have replaced refined sugar with jaggery. I eat junk food only when there is not any other food to eat. I try to restrict myself as much as I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toddler is now 2 years 4 months old. She asks for sweets to her father whenever she goes out with him, and he complies.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I don't and she knows this and doesn't ask me for sweets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few more years she will be able to talk and understand the human language properly and she will have friends too. She will eats sweets, chips, and other nonsense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;at that time&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; when I tell her not to eat junk food, how should I explain &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saying no without explanation never worked with me. I won't expect the child to follow orders without knowing why. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I fail to tell her why, my order will not have much effect on her. She might not eat junk food in my presence due to fear but she will eat in her friend's presence because she doesn't know any reason why she shouldn't eat especially when everyone around her is eating junk food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastEditorUserId="19572" LastEditDate="2015-10-27T18:37:36.190" LastActivityDate="2021-12-08T14:04:32.050" Title="How to explain children why junk food is bad for your health?" Tags="|food|parents|age-appropriate|junkfood|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22772" CreationDate="2015-10-27T08:27:10.777" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's difficult even for teenagers and adults to understand and acknowledge the fact that too much sweets are bad for one's health (and weight).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 2yo you can try explaining - you will or will not succed in that. But the most important thing is to limit the amount of sweets to an absolute minumum (ie. special occasions like family visits or birthdays).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a more general problem - it also applies to tv, computer, smartphone, tablet, consoles - and all other things which children love but are (in smaller or larger amounts) bad for their health. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, &lt;strong&gt;I think it's your husband you should focus your efforts on. Children will always want what they like and it's your and your husband's responsibility to ensure they get it in reasonable amounts&lt;/strong&gt;, especially if a reasonable amount is &lt;em&gt;none&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter loves playing duplo games on my tablet. At first, when we discovered it and let her play, she cried - and cried hard - when the game was over and we took the tablet. We explained that she can play, but just one game at once. We tried again two days after - she cried again. On the third day she was sad and wanted more, but didn't cry. After a few weeks of one-game-per day and a lot of explaining, she voluntarily gives me back the tablet after we finish the game. She doesn't want to, I can see it, but she does. The downside is that she will, everyday, remember to ask for the tablet to play on. I guess that such consistency on her side is not a bad thing, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case, it'll be harder, since youd daughter already has &quot;bad&quot; habits established. But you can and will succeed if you remain consistent. Offer something instead, an apple, grape, orange. Even raisins or candied fruits will be better. Dried apple slices are a great snack too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;By the time she reaches 4-5 years she already either will or will not have healthy eating habits established&lt;/strong&gt;. If your husband continues to give her sweets on demand, she definitely will not. In that case there will be little any explaining can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the age of 5 she will be able to compare her body with other children. Most likely some of them will be fat. However terribly that sounds, comparing her to those children may be effective. It will be difficult to both show her that being fat is bad and not make her judge and dislike those children. Showing positive examples may be effective too, though there are also risks. She may either try to eat less sweets and do some sports, or decide that it's too hard and drop sports completely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summing up - when that time comes, you will have to think about what kind of person she is, is she strong-willed or not, does she have high self-esteem or not. Those factors will help you decide what kind of approach of &lt;em&gt;explaining&lt;/em&gt; to take. &lt;strong&gt;All those things, in my opinion, should only be an addition to having healthy habits which were introduced consistently by her parents through the years.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-10-27T09:43:24.967" LastActivityDate="2015-10-27T09:43:24.967" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22771" CreationDate="2015-10-27T14:21:55.047" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is an elementary school counselor, and we've always been totally frank with our kiddo on the good and bad in life.  When pets have died, we've explained the death and we've been sad about it together - because it IS sad, and it affects all of us.  We ask our daughter how her day was (she's 6) and at this point she's been &quot;trained&quot; to query the same of us.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there's any age where it's appropriate to start this; the answer is pretty much ANY age.  Don't shield your children from the joys and sadnesses in life, they are real and will be a perpetual part not just of their upbringing but their life in general.  My daughter's first fish death occurred when she was 3.  We buried him, wished him well and thanked him for being a part of our family.  In the coming years, we expect my wife's grandmother to pass and that will be the REAL test for us on how we handle that kind of sadness.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And with regards to joys there are daily experiences to be reveled and cherished with our kids, no matter how trivial they are, and children should know how precious and wonderful life is by pointing out the daily good things to balance out the sorrows.  We celebrate a good spelling test with reinforcement, we endeavor to improve the math grade, we look at life as an opportunity to improve who we are and the world around us.  Dwelling only on the practical to me seems to negate what it is that makes us feel alive and a part of something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach your kids to embrace the joys and the sorrows - it's who we are, and it's how we know we're alive.  And maybe in turn that will help you therapeutically recognize more of the joys and cope with the sorrows through your kids that in my humble opinion were unfortunately neglected in your own upbringing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14252" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-30T03:34:31.450" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T03:34:31.450" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22771" CreationDate="2015-10-27T15:21:59.567" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Joys are great. Always tell them about the joys (unless its how much fun you had out drinking with your friends or something else that is OK for adults but not age appropriate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please filter the sorrows though. While its good to discuss death and having a bad day at work; you don't want to pile your responsibilities on your kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents have always cried poverty, and were ridiculously negative as a child; they still are in fact... &quot;The TV got shut off around Christmas, well its the fault of this holiday because everyone wants wants wants...&quot; or &quot;We cant afford to get you braces because we wouldn't be able to buy food.&quot; or &quot;Our marriage is going down the tubes because bla bla ___&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk like this makes your kids internalize the negativity. I would have panic attacks in middle school and high school because I felt it was my responsibility to ... pay a bill that couldn't be paid, to mediate between adults that went getting along, or to just not &lt;em&gt;&quot;need&quot;&lt;/em&gt; as much (Maybe if I skip dinner we wont have food problems). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(P.S. Not implying this is what you would do, just sharing my experience.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be careful of the problems you discuss with your kids because they may feel that you need help solving it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-28T11:40:32.697" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T11:40:32.697" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22723" CreationDate="2015-10-27T16:57:52.527" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I realise that I am an approval seeker. Other people's opinions effect me a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is true of &lt;em&gt;most humans&lt;/em&gt;. People that don't care about approval either hide it well or are sociopaths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I want to understand what kind of childhood incidents lead to such a behaviour in adulthood and what can I do better to prevent my toddler from becoming an approval seeker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are hard-wired to want to be loved, to want to be in community with others. Not being loved or in community is called loneliness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you don't want your child to be &lt;em&gt;controlled by their desire for approval&lt;/em&gt;, raise them to be resilient. Resilient people have&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;close relationships with family and friends&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;a positive view of themselves and [reason-based] confidence in their strengths and abilities&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;the ability to manage strong feelings and impulses&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;good problem-solving and communication skills&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;feelings of being in control&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;know how to seek help and resources&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;see themselves as resilient rather than as a victim&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;cope with stress in healthy ways and avoid harmful coping strategies, such as substance abuse&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;help others&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;find positive meaning in their lives despite difficult or traumatic events&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, if they have integrity, and behave with integrity, they will have self-respect. People who respect themselves (not the same as having an inflated opinion of oneself) will rely less on the respect and approval of others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Well, I can't love liars. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like lying. In fact, I detest it. Trust is such a critical element of a deep relationship with a person that I would have thought I couldn't love a liar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my children is very &quot;gifted&quot;. Gifted people have a tendency to experience certain problems like, well, selective laziness. And my son chose to lie to cover up his laziness. He told whoppers so preposterous that they are still repeated (with merriment) to this day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you have children, you learn things, especially to &lt;em&gt;hate the sin and love the sinner.&lt;/em&gt; Which is as it should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to Add:&lt;/strong&gt; You can love someone but set healthy boundaries in order to keep yourself safe and sane. That is an appropriate way to deal people you love but who might still hurt you. And it is, kind of, conditional love. But that's ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Road to Resilience&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-10-27T22:21:30.240" LastActivityDate="2015-10-27T22:21:30.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22777" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-28T00:16:03.550" Score="3" ViewCount="248" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8yr old daughter Gabrielle always wears a jacket, sometimes even when weather is glorious because she likes the waterproof jacket that her school issued her with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if it is cold, raining heavily, blowing a gale and nearly everyday during winter when temperature gets colder and she starts to feel frozen, me and her school teacher wants her jacket tied up in order for her to stay warm, dry and comfortable but Gabby wants me and her teacher to tie it up (zipped and velcroed to the top) for her but when we are tying it, she starts to fidget/wriggle about which makes it harder for us to get the jacket tied, but we always get it tied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is capable of tying her own jacket so would prefer she did it herself but if we don't do it, then it would stay wide open which would then lead to Gabby complaining about being frozen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19573" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-30T03:34:50.170" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T03:34:50.170" Title="My 8yr old won't tie up her jacket when she is cold" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22778" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-28T00:30:41.423" Score="3" ViewCount="9655" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age do kids stop holding their parent's hands?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old daughter ALWAYS holds my hand whilst outside. I don't mind, but my partner and older daughter (16) thinks she is too old to be holding hands, so refuse to hold her hand which upsets her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has a good relationship with her older sister but thinks it's &quot;not fair&quot; that she refuses to hold her hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19573" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-29T17:14:17.397" LastActivityDate="2019-12-03T21:54:24.033" Title="When do kids stop holding their parent's hand?" Tags="|behavior|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22780" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-28T05:21:30.483" Score="2" ViewCount="363" Body="&lt;p&gt;Considering: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7431/should-i-make-my-child-respond-to-me-in-my-language&quot;&gt;Should I make my child respond to me in my language?&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;and&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11839/enforcing-minority-languages-at-home&quot;&gt;Enforcing minority languages at home&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child is currently 2 years 4 months old. I speak to her in foreign language X. Other people speak to her in native language Y. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child understands X but prefers to speak Y. I think she finds Y easier to speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want the child to learn to &lt;strong&gt;speak&lt;/strong&gt; X. Until she starts speaking X she won't learn how to &lt;strong&gt;speak&lt;/strong&gt; it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, from what age should I apply the tactic that &lt;em&gt;&quot;I will reply to you only when you speak in X with me&quot;&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T21:48:46.023" Title="From what age should I require the child to speak the foreign language which I want her to learn?" Tags="|age-appropriate|language-development|language|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22777" CreationDate="2015-10-28T05:38:24.170" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;At eight and having made sure that she is able to do it, it's probably time for a more &lt;em&gt;&quot;hands off&quot;&lt;/em&gt; approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, you could close the zipper for her, but when are you going to stop? I am a big fan of - as a professional care assistant once called it - &quot;helping by putting my hands in my pockets&quot;. You want your daughter to develop an attitude of &quot;I can do it&quot; and the first step towards that goal is &lt;em&gt;letting her&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's face it: What are the worst things that could happen? Her getting wet and cold. While certainly uncomfortable, nothing that seriously endangers her. And you wrote that she already complains about being cold. Let her draw the conclusions herself - closed jacket = warm and dry. But I bet she knows that already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So next time, simply don't tell her to close the jacket. She won't be blown away, not even in a Scottish gale, trust me. Make it her responsibility to decide when the jacket can stay open and when it's more comfortable closed.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When she wants her jacket closed, her first impulse will be asking you to do it for her. Then, in a loving but firm tone tell her to do it herself. Repeat as neccesary. (Be prepared for a tantrum, this is quite a change.) Point out that you are sure she can do it. Be supportive, encouraging and loving. &lt;em&gt;But do not close the jacket for her.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might consider finding other ways of showing her your love and affection - little notes in her lunchbox, for example - if you feel better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T05:38:24.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22780" CreationDate="2015-10-28T05:58:57.817" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It cannot be forced. I tried and failed dismally. My daughter first learnt my wife's language then English. Once she learnt English, she would refuse to go back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching a child another language is a long term process. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids have been going to language school since the age of 6 and will continue until they achieve year 12 proficiency. I would love them to speak to their grandparents in their native language, I hoping that will come with time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the mean time, books and movies in the second language can help. Speaking to your child (even if they respond in a different language) helps them think in a second language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T05:58:57.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22748" CreationDate="2015-10-28T06:28:53.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have ever watched a group of children tidy up in a kindergarten then you will know that children of this age group are perfectly able to &lt;em&gt;help&lt;/em&gt; tidy their toys if there is a clear system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best system will take into account the child's stage of development (there is no point for example in sorting by colour before they know their colours etc).  Having toys in different categories is a good start.  These categories must be simple for your child to understand.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our home for this age group we have:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Blocks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dolls + Doll items&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cars + things with wheels&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Home corner items&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Animals&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a separate box that I take care of which has difficult to handle items (such as dominoes, puzzles etc which have multiple parts), items in this box are given out at my discretion and picked up immediately after playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These boxes fit simply into a 8 cube shelf which sits along the wall and takes up little space while looking tidy. The other shelf holds craft supplies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a child of this age I would take out only one box at a time and pick up with the child before getting something new out. Make putting away fun by singing a song or offering a reward for when you are finished (&quot;Quickly, if we pick the blocks up now we can read a story!&quot;) If toys are separate they are less overwhelming and easier to play with (rather than dump on the floor). By the age of four your child will be able to pick up with only verbal encouragement and guidance (&quot;Do you want to pick up blocks or barbies first?&quot; &quot;Good job - what next?). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't ask but I wonder also if you might have too many toys to handle?  I have 8 boxes because I do in-home care.  Children do not need as many toys as people think to be happy if the toys are carefully selected, starting by getting rid of double-ups is an easy start. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19576" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T06:28:53.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22784" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22794" CreationDate="2015-10-28T07:53:29.563" Score="9" ViewCount="853" Body="&lt;p&gt;From: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.raisesmartkid.com/all-ages/1-articles/47-authoritarian-strict-parenting-vs-permissive-which-is-better&quot;&gt;http://www.raisesmartkid.com/all-ages/1-articles/47-authoritarian-strict-parenting-vs-permissive-which-is-better&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Do not impress on your child that mediocrity and average success is all that &#xA;  is expected from him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child is 2 years 4 months old. I don't know whether she will top her class or not. I definitely do not want her to fail, but at the same time I do not &quot;expect&quot; her to top the class. This means that it is okay is she tops and it is okay if she doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want to ensure that she understands what she does in classwork and homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I act such that child doesn't feel average success and mediocrity is expected of her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. In 10th and 12th grades, percentage does matter, so there she will have to work hard even if she doesn't want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T16:20:29.333" Title="How should I act such that child doesn't feel average success and mediocrity is expected of her?" Tags="|parents|school|age-appropriate|teaching|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22784" CreationDate="2015-10-28T08:10:16.187" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have a child, but I was one and my parents apparently did succeed with their approach (as I am currently studying for my PhD).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were mainly two things they taught me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) It sounds old, but you do not learn for grades or earn grades for parents. You learn for life. You can show children, that sometimes you don't see the effect while you work, but in the long run you will. And also, learning teaches you to learn. You might not need the topic you are struggling with in later life, but you will need the ability to struggle and win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Praise her when she does good in things she likes to do. This is how she will find her path in life. And of course, because she likes to do them, there will be plenty of options for you to praise her. Console her when she fails in something she does not like to do. She might need it, but instead of telling her &quot;You need good grades! Work harder!&quot; tell her &quot;I have also failed sometimes. I know you hate this topic. We will try and make it more fun. You won't be alone in trying to master it against the odds.&quot; Especially in young age, learning still should be somewhat fun. (I actually try making learning fun even for the university students I teach. Because wanting to have fun never ends. And if you choose something for the rest of your life, you should be able to have at least some fun doing it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16167" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T08:10:16.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22780" CreationDate="2015-10-28T10:32:52.370" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want my daughter to learn german. I speak in german with her occasionally (my fault, and unrelated) and she goes to a kindergarten where the speaking language is german. It's not a german kindergarten in germany though, and german is still a foreign language where I live. She is 4 1/2 years old. &#xA;I say all this as context.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The teachers at the kindergarten have told us repeatedly that the kids will probably not start to actively speak german until they start school, so 6-7 years of age. By actively speaking I mean something else than them repeating words/songs/poems, but to actually form sentences to speak their mind. This is also true for families where one parent consistently only speaks german with them at home too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They told us that until then they build their vocabulary and confidence to speak the language. And that every bit of hearing it helps them learn, even though it would seem to us that they don't understand anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2430" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T10:32:52.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22723" CreationDate="2015-10-28T14:35:24.467" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, both over-criticizing and over-praising can lead to a child who desperately seeks approval from others around them.  The problem with most praise/criticism is that it is about us, the parents.  How we feel about what the child has done, not how the child feels.  Our approval is an external reward, which doesn't teach a child how to be motivated internally.  If the child views everything they do as only of value (or not) based on your opinion, then they have to keep coming to you for your opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two common suggestions for building internal motivation in kids:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make praise about the child - Instead of &quot;I'm so proud of you&quot;, try &quot;You must be so proud of yourself&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Focus on the effort, not the result - &quot;You really studied hard for that test&quot; says that the internal effort was important, vs &quot;Great Job getting that A&quot;, which says the external result was important.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The book &quot;How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk&quot; has a section about internal/external motivation and praise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.themotherco.com/2011/08/how-to-avoid-raising-a-praise-junkie/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to Avoid Raising a Praise Junkie&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://lifehacker.com/how-i-learned-to-stop-nagging-my-kids-and-start-motivat-1464670051&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How I Learned to Stop Nagging My Kids and Start Motivating Them&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-29T11:15:51.283" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T11:15:51.283" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22778" CreationDate="2015-10-28T15:44:08.230" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;At eight, this isn't a safety issue any longer -- she is unlikely to wander into traffic or get lost in a crowd. She may be holding hands for her own sense of security, or to demonstrate affection, or for whatever reason she wants to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's fine with the person she wants to hold hands with, then it does not need to be considered an issue. When it is a source of conflict, and somebody else (older sister, parent, etc.) doesn't &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to hold her hand, then it's time to have a conversation about boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't have the right to force somebody else into physical contact, whether that's holding hands, hugging, tickling, or kissing. She's definitely old enough to understand the notion of boundaries and personal space. She has the right to turn down unwanted physical contact, and she also has the responsibility to respect other people's right to the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also suggest that the person who doesn't want to hold hands be a bit more accurate (and considerate) when responding, though. Saying &quot;you're too old for that&quot; is rather disingenuous: is the other person really hoping to hold her hand, but feels obligated to refuse because of the age boundary? I can see why that comes off as sort of unfair -- would the sister also call her childish for wanting a hug? In any case, simply saying &quot;I don't really want to&quot; is more accurate and honest, and reminds your younger daughter that the other person has a right to refuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-10-28T15:44:08.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22789" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-28T17:03:19.630" Score="5" ViewCount="192" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old is in Pre-K. She is the youngest in her grade too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have consistently had preschool and Sunday school teachers tell me for the past 2 years how mature she is in class. She shows other signs of intellectual maturity or &quot;giftedness&quot; such as awareness, memory, and attention to detail. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also gets bored very easily, asks for me to give her homework, and asks to go to school more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a phase most Pre-K kids go through?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Since she can't start Kindergarten until next year what kind of things can I do to give her more education that she seems to be craving?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Likewise, what kind of schooling should I be looking into for her to excel once she is in school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both her father and I are tested/considered &quot;highly intelligent&quot;, so it is probable that she may also be. Therefore  we want to be sure we are educating her adequately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18882" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-29T18:47:57.010" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T18:47:57.010" Title="How can I supplement my Pre-K child's education?" Tags="|pre-schooler|daycare|gifted|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22743" CreationDate="2015-10-29T04:36:53.210" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-baby-start-remembering-things_6888.bc&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;one source&lt;/a&gt; that claims 14 to 18 months for long-lasting memory, though without defining &amp;quot;long-lasting&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remembering comes on various levels, though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Specific&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daddy turned to page 134.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;General&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daddy read me &lt;em&gt;The Phantom Tollbooth&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Abstract&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daddy read me stories&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Experiential&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I loved my time with daddy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask yourself this: Why will your child remember what you look like?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is, of course, that seeing you was a repeated experience, but that is not all... &lt;strong&gt;the emotion behind each of those experiences gives them added strength/meaning/weight&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter remembers me reading her &lt;em&gt;The Phantom Tollbooth&lt;/em&gt;, but none of the other books -- it was one that for whatever reason embedded in her permanent consciousness... and that is how long term memory works... it is sometimes rather random.  Where there is &lt;strong&gt;strong&lt;/strong&gt; emotion, though, there is an increased chance of the memory lasting longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is that you really shouldn't care about what she will or will not remember to varying degrees -- just make every moment count and their sum will carry the day in that she will remember you for the awesome parent you are, in all its various facets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T04:36:53.210" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22723" CreationDate="2015-10-29T09:32:50.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Links of the accepted answer may die, so I am posting the text of the links for future usage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.themotherco.com/2011/08/how-to-avoid-raising-a-praise-junkie/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to Avoid Raising a Praise Junkie&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As a parent, I find it nearly impossible not to lavish praise on my&#xA;  kid.  I mean, he does something kind, considerate, empathetic, helpful&#xA;  – and “you’re such a good boy/sweet boy/smart boy” just flies out of&#xA;  my mouth!  I wrestle with “good job” on a daily basis.  But there is&#xA;  more and more parenting wisdom that points us away from over-praising&#xA;  our children in hopes that they will have an easier time grappling&#xA;  with failure, perfectionism and the like.  We reached out to Amy&#xA;  McCready, author and oft-featured parenting expert to give us some&#xA;  tips on how to cork our own over-praising tendencies and give our kids&#xA;  a solid sense of self-worth without needing to hear how great they are&#xA;  all the time.  —  Sam Kurtzman-Counter, Exec VP of TMC&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;By Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“I’m so proud of you!” “You are such a good boy!” “You’re so smart!”&#xA;  “You were awesome!” “You are such an amazing artist!”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Admit it, you have uttered statements like these to your child. It’s&#xA;  good parenting, right? You’re showing your approval and it makes your&#xA;  child feel good. When they feel better about themselves, they’re more&#xA;  confident and they’ll grow up to be independent, successful adults… or&#xA;  so the thinking goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Actually, while parents who praise their children have all the right&#xA;  intentions, the underlying result from the praise is a child who&#xA;  begins to need, crave and even depend on praise for their motivation,&#xA;  and the “praise junkie” habit is formed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The praise junkie is a person (kid or grown up) who needs consistent&#xA;  affirmation from others to feel confident in his or her own ability or&#xA;  choices. Younger praise junkies may seek approval from parents and&#xA;  teachers. “Do you like my painting, Daddy?” “Was that a good shot?”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As kids get older, the praise junkie will turn to the peer group for&#xA;  approval, which is not what most parents hope for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Praise junkie kids eventually become high maintenance employees -–&#xA;  needing ongoing awards, “at-a-boys” and recognition to affirm that he&#xA;  or she is doing a good job. Fortune 500 companies grapple with how to&#xA;  motivate praise-seeking employees. Ron Alsop, author of “The Trophy&#xA;  Kids Grow Up,” says that “Millennials (born after 1980) seek loads of&#xA;  attention and guidance from employers. An annual or even semiannual&#xA;  evaluation isn’t enough. They want to know how they’re doing weekly,&#xA;  even daily.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What can you do to avoid raising a praise junkie? Here are three key&#xA;  steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;1. Shift the focus from external to internal motivation.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When your child says,”Do you like my painting, Mommy?” Respond with,&#xA;  “Well, it’s more important how YOU feel about it. What do YOU like&#xA;  about your painting?”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Instead of letting “I’m so proud of you” roll off your tongue, instead&#xA;  say, “You must be so proud of YOURSELF!”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It’s fine that they know you’re proud of them, but it’s more important&#xA;  that they be proud of themselves. We want to instill in them the&#xA;  internal pride and motivation to take on new challenges, to work hard&#xA;  and to make their own decisions even if it is counter to the pressure&#xA;  of the peer group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It may feel awkward at first when parents say, “You must be proud of&#xA;  yourself,” but you’ll notice your child beam with pride – from the&#xA;  inside!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;2. Focus on the process versus the “end product.”&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Pay less attention to the end product -– the ‘A’ on the science test,&#xA;  the goal she scored, the “amazing” painting — and focus on the process&#xA;  it took to get that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example: Instead of saying, “Wow you got an ‘A’ in science!” -–&#xA;  say, “Wow, you must have put in a lot of hard work and study time.”&#xA;  (Again, it’s great to get A’s, but how will your son feel if he works&#xA;  like crazy, but brings home a ‘C’ in Spanish? Should he feel bad about&#xA;  that if he did his very best?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parents should focus on the process -– the hard work and perseverance,&#xA;  especially when things get tough. Encouraging those qualities can help&#xA;  all kids to feel good on the inside -– not dependent on others for&#xA;  approval.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;3. Avoid Labels – positive or negative.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Most parents know that negative labels are discouraging to kids.&#xA;  However, to avoid raising praise junkies, parents should also avoid&#xA;  positive labels. Labels like smart, pretty and athletic are external&#xA;  labels that put unnecessary pressure on kids to always live up to&#xA;  those labels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Dr. Carol Dweck’s Columbia University research on the impact of praise&#xA;  concluded that when kids were labeled as “smart,” they felt the&#xA;  pressure to protect their “smart” label. In her study, the children in&#xA;  the “smart” control group were less likely to take on challenging&#xA;  problems for fear they would compromise their “smart” label. On the&#xA;  flip side, students who were encouraged for their hard work were&#xA;  willing to take on more challenging tasks and even enjoyed trying to&#xA;  come up with new solutions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It’s best to stay away from labels all together. When you’re tempted&#xA;  to use a label, think about the qualities or traits that make up that&#xA;  label and encourage that in your child. For example: “That’s what I&#xA;  call perseverance!”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Parents should also avoid the over-used “good boy” or “good girl.”&#xA;  Instead, focus on the specific behaviors that you value. “I really&#xA;  appreciate the way you offered to help without being asked. That made&#xA;  my job a lot easier.” Or, if the behavior wasn’t appropriate, talk&#xA;  specifically about that behavior instead of labeling the child as&#xA;  “bad” or “naughty.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;All parents want kids to be capable, confident and motivated. However,&#xA;  praising kids too much can have the opposite effect. A good rule for&#xA;  parents to live by is to treat praise like candy – a small amount is&#xA;  fine, but a steady diet can be toxic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://lifehacker.com/how-i-learned-to-stop-nagging-my-kids-and-start-motivat-1464670051&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How I Learned to Stop Nagging My Kids and Start Motivating Them&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The first thing I understood is that I should use praise/reward&#xA;  instead of criticism/punishment. The argument is that criticizing or&#xA;  punishing often kills a child's spirit and self esteem. If you focus&#xA;  instead on praise, you reinforce the child's self worth and since&#xA;  children inherently want to please their parents, this will make them&#xA;  want to behave instead of misbehave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A couple of tips to handle situations that necessitate&#xA;  criticism/punishment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Describe the Situation Instead of Fixing Blame&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example: Instead of screaming. &quot;I told you to sit down while&#xA;  eating your dinner. Now, look what a mess you've made!&quot;, try saying&#xA;  &quot;If we don't sit down when we eat, food falls everywhere and makes a&#xA;  mess.&quot; Stop at that and get your child in the habit of cleaning&#xA;  his/her mess. Wait to catch at least one instance when the child eats&#xA;  without making a mess, and show your appreciation. Rinse, repeat,&#xA;  until things turn around. Say Nothing&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children know when they've made a mistake. Instead of lecturing them,&#xA;  just take yourself out of the situation and let them work it out. Once&#xA;  they realize by themselves that they made a mistake and take ownership&#xA;  of it, they're less likely to repeat it. This may sound simple, but&#xA;  from my own experience, this is one of the hardest tips to follow! 10&#xA;  Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming a Parent&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Raising a child is full of surprises. No matter how many books,&#xA;  parenting forums, and Dr. Sears… Read more Express Your Feelings&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Instead of lecturing, just express your feelings: &quot;We need to leave&#xA;  now, otherwise mama will be late for work and get into trouble. And&#xA;  mama becomes sad if she gets into trouble.&quot; Amazingly, this works a&#xA;  lot better than criticizing my daughter as we try to get out the door&#xA;  in the mornings. Put Things in Perspective and Let Things Slide&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There, I said it! For someone who is a bit of a control freak, even&#xA;  saying this out loud is pretty painful. Most of the time, I can't get&#xA;  myself to do this, but telling myself very often &quot;She is just a&#xA;  five-year old,&quot; does seem to help. Slowly I got in the habit of&#xA;  avoiding criticism and waiting to catch my daughter in the act of&#xA;  doing something good, and then showering her with praise. Except, as I&#xA;  looked more into it, I began to read:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not all praise is created equal (i.e., there is a right way to praise and a not-so-effective way to praise).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;While it may result in good short terms gains, excessive praise may have some negative long term consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Praising the Right Way&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When I started to focus on the right way to praise, here's what I&#xA;  found out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make the Praise Descriptive Instead of Generic.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example: Instead of a generic &quot;good job!&quot; say, &quot;I like the way&#xA;  your shared the toy with your friend!&quot; or &quot;You did a good job cleaning&#xA;  up your toys today!&quot; The equivalent of &quot;good job&quot; in adult terms is&#xA;  like saying &quot;Let's meet downtown,&quot; whereas a descriptive praise is&#xA;  equivalent to saying, &quot;Let's meet at the intersection of 2nd Street&#xA;  and Colorado Street.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;10 Things to Stop Saying to Your Kids (and What to Say Instead)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Current research shows that some of the most commonly used and&#xA;  seemingly positive phrases we use… Read more&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The latter is a whole lot more helpful, right? The logic behind this&#xA;  is that kids inherently need our attention. By telling them exactly&#xA;  what it is that they did right, we empower them with the knowledge of&#xA;  exactly what to repeat to get our attention again. Focus on the Effort&#xA;  Instead of the Outcome&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When you have no clue what the masterpiece is that your toddler just&#xA;  handed you, instead of faking &quot;That's so beautiful!&quot; say, &quot;Wow, it&#xA;  looks like you put a lot of thought in it, what do we have here?&quot; or,&#xA;  &quot;Wow, you used so many colors to make this picture so beautiful!&quot; The&#xA;  logic is, by focusing on the effort instead of outcome, we can avoid&#xA;  raising praise junkies whose sole intention is to finish the project&#xA;  to get praised by us (instead of taking pride in their own effort and&#xA;  what they have accomplished).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Focus on Encouragement Instead of Judgement&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example: Instead of &quot;I like that you cleaned up your room!&quot; which&#xA;  could send the signal that &quot;mommy likes me only when I am being good,&#xA;  &quot;say, &quot;You cleaned up all the toys! The room looks so clean and&#xA;  beautiful! Thank you!&quot; The idea here is to focus on &quot;You did it!&quot; and&#xA;  then highlight the consequences and express your happiness about it.&#xA;  No, you don't have to break up all your responses in that way as long&#xA;  as the general message you send your children is that they did&#xA;  something right that resulted in good consequences. This helps the&#xA;  child develop a sense of internal evaluation, allowing them to take&#xA;  responsibility for their action and pride in their achievements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Six Communication Tricks That Will Get Your Kids to Cooperate&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As the parent of a preschooler, I often notice myself feeling&#xA;  frustrated and asking myself, “Why… Read more Raising Internally&#xA;  Motivated Kids Instead of Externally Motivated Ones&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So that leads us to the holy grail of positive reinforcement:&#xA;  cultivating internally motivated kids instead of externally motivated&#xA;  ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Frankly, I'm a long way off from getting to this point. I hope this&#xA;  month's exercise in being positive, and specifically my focus on&#xA;  positive reinforcement, will help me get a little closer. I just want&#xA;  to put a few options on the table based on what I have read. Please&#xA;  note that this is not all from experience (yet!) and this is by no&#xA;  means a comprehensive list. (If you have a few additional tips, I&#xA;  would love to hear them—just drop a comment below!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Acknowledge, but Do Not Explicitly Praise&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It sounds so simple, yet, it's very hard to let your child know that&#xA;  you agree what she did was right without resorting to platitudes like&#xA;  &quot;Good job!&quot; or even descriptive praise like &quot;I love that you cleaned&#xA;  your room.&quot; But, once a good parent-child bond is established, you can&#xA;  just stand by the door of the clean room and smile appreciatively or&#xA;  pat your child on the head to let them know that yes, you do agree&#xA;  with their internal assessment that what they did is right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask Questions, Instead of Jumping in with Praise&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;While you work up to just a nod of the head, there are other options&#xA;  to let your child know that you've noticed without having to shower&#xA;  them with excessive praise. One of the suggestions by Dr. Alfie Kohn&#xA;  in the article Five Reasons to Stop Saying &quot;Good Job!&quot; is to just ask&#xA;  questions. In the example above, you could just describe what you see&#xA;  in the form of a question: &quot;Did you do some magic in here? This place&#xA;  looks so clean and neat!&quot; or, &quot;Hey, it looks like put away all the&#xA;  toys back in their place! Did you figure out all by yourself what goes&#xA;  where?&quot; and then let the kids describe with a beaming smile how they&#xA;  put away all the stuff and cleaned up the room. How to Manipulate Your&#xA;  Kids into Doing What You Want&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In an ideal world, parents would always be patient and nurturing, and&#xA;  kids would always be… Read more&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Say Thank You&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As pointed out by Dionna in the article 7 Alternatives to Telling Your&#xA;  Child &quot;Good Job!&quot;, many of the situations where we use &quot;good job!&quot; are&#xA;  situations that make our life easier. Why not come out and say it? In&#xA;  the example above, &quot;Thank you for cleaning up your room. Now, that's&#xA;  one less thing I have to worry about when the guests arrive!&quot; will&#xA;  convey a heck of a lot more than &quot;good job!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No we have the whole positive reinforcement spectrum—and here's a&#xA;  handy-dandy illustration of it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How I Learned to Stop Nagging My Kids and Start Motivating Them&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For me, going from nagging/criticism to whatever it is I need to be&#xA;  doing to get her to want to sit down and enjoy a meal in peace has not&#xA;  been easy. As far as I am concerned, my goal is to stay out of&#xA;  pink/red and make progress towards the green/blue. Babysteps,&#xA;  remember?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Where on the positive reinforcement spectrum are you? (It's normal to&#xA;  be all over the place, even within the course of a single day, as we&#xA;  react differently to different situations. Just think of one time&#xA;  period–ex. this morning from breakfast to lunch—and try to figure out&#xA;  what you did the most: punish, criticize, bribe, reward, praise,&#xA;  encourage, or work towards an increased level of internal motivation?)&#xA;  What is the one thing you need to stop doing when you interact with&#xA;  your kids to start moving towards the right of the spectrum?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19552" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T09:32:50.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22789" CreationDate="2015-10-29T15:17:24.047" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a highly intelligent person, especially a child ahead of her peers in school, I find that the best remedy is reading.  My wife is a teacher and swears by phonics.  She taught all my children to read early, and to this day that has served them extremely well.  My first is now in college, and loving it.  My second is a junior in HS, but already being recruited by top universities like MIT, Harvard, Caltech and others.  When school gets boring, they pick up a book and read.  Sometimes it is fiction, but sometimes it is a biography or a science book.  My son has often picked up an Encyclopedia (yes, old school, hard-bound World Book Encyclopedia) and read through several articles in a sitting.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I would strongly suggest that you learn about phonics and take your child through it.  You can start by putting up an alphabet chart or just the alphabet letters all in a row, big ones, all around her room.  Then each day teach her one, its name, and its sound.  My wife did this with my son, one letter per day, but when she got to M, my son got impatient and made her sit down and teach him the rest of the alphabet in one seating.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Read a lot with her, and point to the words as you are reading them to her, and don't limit yourself to books for just her age.  I read the Chronicles of Narnia to our kids several times, before they could read, substituting their names for the names of the kids in the book, and they loved it.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Teaching a kid to read and to love reading is one of the best gifts a parent can give their child.  For a gifted child it is even more special as it gives them a way to feed and exercise their intellect that is only limited by the size of the libraries available to them.&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T15:17:24.047" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22784" CreationDate="2015-10-29T16:20:29.333" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;The healthiest way is to encourage your daughter to do her best to reach the fullness of her &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; potential, without regard to her peers.  That means &quot;average success and mediocrity&quot; isn't defined by what my typical &lt;em&gt;peer&lt;/em&gt; can do today, it's defined by what &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; can do today.  If I'm not better tomorrow than I was yesterday, by whatever measures I personally value, I'm failing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll give you a recent example with my kids.  My eight-year-old son reads at around a 10 or 11 year-old level.  A few weeks ago, I caught him checking out a first grade level book from the library.  These are books his little sister is struggling with at the moment, and he thought we would be impressed with how much better he could read them than she could.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, we told him if he wanted to impress us, he should do something that is just as difficult for him as reading level 1 books is for her.  We didn't pressure him about it, or force him to choose one specific thing, or punish him for not doing it, but we didn't praise him for excelling at a mediocre task either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-10-29T16:20:29.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22795" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-29T20:30:44.427" Score="0" ViewCount="1340" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old son has recently got into the habit of getting into these incredibly annoying tantrums. They start when he doesn't get his way and can often rumble on over a couple of hours. They usually peak at bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it occurs he doesn't do anything. He lays on the floor and says &quot;nothing&quot; when you ask him to do something. After a while mixes this up with raspberry-blowing spitting and saying the word &quot;poo&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I start off being over nice, attempting to coax him out of his tantrum. I make some jokes to try to get him to smile. I offer to help him do things. Ask if he wants to pick a bedtime story etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This practically never works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I then get frustrated and shout. This usually lasts about 10 seconds. He cries and says he doesn't like me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I become calm again but I have a child who won't go to bed. At this point I put him to bed. I pull him up. I then hold his hand and steer (encouragingly pull) him towards the bathroom, I ask him to do everything that is expected off him. He doesn't. I sit him on the toilet. I wash his hands. I gently edge him towards his bedroom and get him into his pyjamas while he continues to say &quot;nothing&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During this process he protests a little bit but I am not aggressive. He isn't being dragged along the floor. He doesn't like it but does reluctantly comply. He does edge a foot up about 3cm from the floor so I can slide on his pj's etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate doing this final step. It isn't right but if I don't, if I leave him outside his room he will sit there and start saying words he knows he is not allowed to say. We once left him for 45 minutes and he laid there contently running through the list of things he is not allowed to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What am I supposed to do? We have taken away his treats the next day but doesn't seem to do anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else dealt with this behaviour? Does anyone have any advice?&#xA;Just want to add. 70% of the time he is well behaved. 25% of the time he is a bit silly. This is like 5% of the time where he seems to get into the mindset where he doesn't want to comply with anything and wants to try to press to buttons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19582" LastEditorUserId="19552" LastEditDate="2015-10-30T11:35:47.730" LastActivityDate="2015-10-31T04:45:35.913" Title="Breaking 5 year olds tantrums" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-11-14T12:20:06.240" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22797" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-30T02:42:53.520" Score="2" ViewCount="396" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is a suitable bedtime and sleep pattern for an 8yr old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 8yr old Gabrielle goes to bed at half 7 but can read or watch for an hour which means she goes to sleep at around half 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the mornings I switch her tv on at half 7 but she doesn't get up until 8 o'clock, she is very bright and cheerful though because she is getting 11hrs 30mins sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19573" LastEditorUserId="19584" LastEditDate="2015-10-30T15:36:13.593" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T15:36:13.593" Title="What is a suitable bedtime and sleep pattern for an 8 year old?" Tags="|middle-childhood|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19632" CreationDate="2015-10-30T04:41:55.037" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tough one for me to answer to be honest; however, I will answer by saying it's up to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old Gabrielle is really forgetful at times, I am forever saying to her &quot;Gabby, jacket please, its torrential rain outside&quot; then it's &quot;I said it's torrential rain so I think it'd be a good idea to zip your jacket up and put up the hood&quot; before going out in morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She needs constant reminders at school and home which in my opinion is a worry but we get by though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19573" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-10-30T11:02:39.697" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T11:02:39.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22797" CreationDate="2015-10-30T08:55:07.760" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing in my opinion is to see whether the child is sleepy during the day. Or grumpy because of missing sleep. If this is it, then you should rethink the bed times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For you it seems not the case, so when she is not missing the sleep during day and you are fine with the times, so I dont see any reason to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only think, that concerns me personally is the huge amount of tv time she gets. Watching tv before she sleeps and when she gets up sounds way too much to me. I would not like to put my child so much in front of the tv. But this is my personal decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So - no need to change the bedtimes if everything is fine&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19565" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T08:55:07.760" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22772" CreationDate="2015-10-30T17:59:17.460" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;So, at that time when I tell her not to eat junk food, how should I&#xA;  explain why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I have chosen to do is to focus on being healthy in order to live the best life possible.  I explain over and over 3 basic things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why you should eat healthy&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You only have 1 body, you need to care for it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Without right nourishment parts will stop working correctly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The primary reason to eat is to nourish your body.  (not pleasure)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Examples of consequences&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is easy to point out people with severe diabetes or physical problems in public.  I explain that once they were young healthy children just like my kids are now.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Draw connection in real life to bad food bad feelings&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also explain that food affects their brain and behavior.  For instance, when they are really cranky I force them to eat salad's or other vegetables as well as chicken or fish.  I do this specifically when they have had a bad day of eating just simple carbs.  I think they are beginning to realize that cranky behavior (and stomachaches) can be from poor eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Explain it on their level&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explain it in other weird ways too.  Such as, when you eat a cookie you feel good right?  Well that is your tongue and tummy talking to you, but they are not responsible for all your other body parts.  When you eat healthy foods your heart, brain and muscles are all very happy.  The only difference is that they don't talk as loudly as your tongue and tummy about how good they feel.  You have to listen closely to them to know how they feel.  This will help make you stronger and happier because they are more important than your tongue and tummy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, that is a combination of techniques on how I tell and show my kids why eating healthy is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;p.s. we eat our share of junk food, but I also insist on eating healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T17:59:17.460" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22772" CreationDate="2015-10-30T19:02:19.100" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a slightly Zen answer to this, which is that you shouldn't say an absolute &quot;no&quot; to sweets. Limit the amounts, by all means, only to specific occasions if possible. But do not categorically say no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with making something forbidden is that it makes it much more desirable, especially to children but also to adults. There is a type of snack that my daughter really likes, but she knows she only gets it when we are on the way back from hiking, which is about once a month. That way, when she occasionally asks for it somewhere else, we can say &quot;you know we only eat that when we come home from hiking&quot;, instead of saying &quot;No, you're not allowed to eat that&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the explanations, I've always told my girls that in order to grow up strong and healthy they have to do three things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eat well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sleep well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play well&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is absolutely true, of course, and isn't too complicated for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, there is a clear distinction in our family between eating (which means eating food) and noshing (which means eating junk/sweets). Once that distinction is made, it simplifies the explanations of everything around the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T19:02:19.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7515" CreationDate="2015-10-30T19:15:52.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first suspect for tiredness, after medication and low iron, would be a low B12 count.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vitamin B12 is one of those things that often goes missing together with iron, so if he has low iron, he may also have low B12. There's plenty of it in Marmite, not sure about Vegemite, but it mostly comes from animal products. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since my family is vegan, we've occasionally supplemented with methyl-cobalamine syrup, which brought their values high quite quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T19:15:52.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22780" CreationDate="2015-10-30T19:23:32.893" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no rule for this, and it's different with every child.&#xA;My girls are both bi-lingual. I speak to them in one language, and my wife (and the environment) speak to them in another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest started speaking both languages more or less together, and is happy to switch from one to the other when talking to different people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second would only speak my wife's language, though she understood everything I say in mine. This is starting to change just now, in the last two weeks, and she is 2 years and 4 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to note that our languages are consistent. I always, only speak in my language, and will only read stories and show videos in my language. My wife is the same for her language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have noticed that after a full day with me, they will both be more likely to answer in my language, so perhaps the best answer is to spend more time with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my usual Zen approach, I think that trying to force the issue is unlikely to work, as it will just create antagonism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T19:23:32.893" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22795" CreationDate="2015-10-30T21:54:35.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes you just need to let him have his fit because what he is trying to do is get on your nerves and a lot of times get your attention.  You can also send him to a spot in the house for discipline.  Like sending him to put his nose in the corner.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19590" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T21:54:35.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22743" CreationDate="2015-10-30T22:07:22.453" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;They usually start remembering big events in their life at about age four.  It helps a lot if you show them pictures because then memories come back.  But they probably won't remember it at age two.  Maybe three though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19590" LastActivityDate="2015-10-30T22:07:22.453" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22795" CreationDate="2015-10-31T04:45:35.913" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possible method to try is to do the complete opposite that you do at the moment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I start off being over nice, attempting to coax him out of his tantrum. I make some jokes to try to get him to smile. I offer to help him do things. Ask if he wants to pick a bedtime story etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do nothing. Tell him &quot;if you need me, I'm here&quot; and give him some time to calm down and not have to interact with you on top of the feelings he is having. &#xA;Yes, I get that you are saying it's his bedtime, but if you have time to joke with him, and shout at him and drag him around, there's time for him to try and calm himself down for half an hour. &#xA;Think about how you feel yourself when you are annoyed with someone - does having that someone talk to you the whole time and then start shouting at you help? Even if the other person is right, I at least prefer to get a break and get over my own annoyance in peace. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The trick in getting a tantrum to end as soon as possible, Potegal said, was to get the child past the peaks of anger. Once the child was past being angry, what was left was sadness, and sad children reach out for comfort. The quickest way past the anger, the scientists said, was to do nothing. Of course, that isn't easy for parents or caregivers to do&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2011/12/05/143062378/whats-behind-a-temper-tantrum-scientists-deconstruct-the-screams&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NPR story&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Original research from the scientist cited there: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3192404/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Screaming, Yelling, Whining and Crying: Categorical and intensity differences in Vocal Expressions of Anger and Sadness in Children's Tantrums&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastActivityDate="2015-10-31T04:45:35.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22811" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22814" CreationDate="2015-10-31T15:58:26.920" Score="1" ViewCount="4864" Body="&lt;p&gt;At times when I ask my son to stop doing something immediately he does not stop. Should I beat him in that case? I know the answer might be no but I need an alternative in which he listens and stops doing when I tell him to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1851" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-07T13:58:51.777" LastActivityDate="2019-08-15T05:49:42.457" Title="My 6 year old son does not listen when I tell him to stop something immediately. Should I beat him?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22812" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-10-31T16:06:14.473" Score="4" ViewCount="1122" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter's father is a good &quot;part-time&quot; parent who makes his own schedule. If he doesn't want to show up, he won't. If being a parent is a hassle at the time, he will step away from that role. And then pop back in and pretend to be super dad for a brief moment to make up for it. My daughter has an unrealistic view of him. That he is as much supportive and loving as I am only because of his brief super dad moments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want her to make her own decision about him so I don't badmouth him and I don't tell him he can't be around even if months have passed since she last saw him. He randomly calls and they exchange &quot;I love you&quot;s that bring me to tears. But then when I'm on the phone he wants to discuss giving up his right and not being in her life at all. He can't decide between if she is better without him than him being part time and he refuses to be a full time committed father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her past four years of life he has gone to jail 5 times. He paid child support maybe two times. And in between his trips to county he maybe sees her a couple of weekends and then goes months without seeing her and goes back to jail. She is very smart. She knows he is in jail again. He has two more years. She doesn't want to go to the jail and I don't blame her. She wants dad to get better and come see her. But the reality is: He isn't ever going to be a full time committed dad, he doesn't want to be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how to tell her that. And he keeps building up her hopes that someday it will happen and she's waiting for it and she is going to be crushed when he is out of jail and it's not like he implied it would be. She asks me questions only he can answer and he refuses to be truthful with her about his intentions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel responsible for encouraging a relationship when I know long term it's emotionally damaging to her. I am getting married this summer and we have another daughter. This man has been our rock and he claims my four-year-old as his own. He treats both girls the same. Her father doesn't approve and is jealous that my fiancé &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; raising his daughter better than he is because he is in jail. But every time I give him opportunity to participate in her life he flees. And she loves her step dad and told her biological father that she calls him dad too and she likes having two dads who love her. He hates that and her having a step parent is part of the reason he is wanting to disappear after jail and not be involved at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I keep telling him how much he means to her and he needs to just step up but he refuses. He wants us to always wait on him and wait without a father figure so his ego isn't damaged. I don't know if I should be doing something else other than what I am. I comfort her when he breaks her heart but I allow him to keep coming back afterward because she is supposed to have a relationship with him. I feel like I shouldn't. I feel responsible because I let him back in after he walks out in her but I feel like if I get full custody and his parental rights are taken with it (because he will give them up if I get full custody), then she will blame me for his absence all her life and he will basically be the victim dad that got his daughter taken by the awful selfish mom. I'm trying, I really am, to do this correctly but there are so many variables and I don't know if I'm doing something terribly wrong because I feel like I am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like feedback on how anyone in my shoes would handle the father's behavior and how to help my daughter handle it as well. I feel like I'm not doing enough and I'm doing something wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19593" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-16T12:37:50.087" LastActivityDate="2019-09-17T11:39:50.870" Title="My 4-year-old daughter's father doesn't want to be a committed dad, yet keeps her hopes alive. How to deal with the situation in her best interest?" Tags="|pre-schooler|relationships|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22811" CreationDate="2015-10-31T16:40:47.117" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;A mistake a lot of parents make is saying &quot;Stop that.  I said stop that. Stop that at once.  If you don't stop that we're going home now.  Stop it.  I said stop that ....&quot; on and on infinitum without actually doing anything. As far as the child is concerned its just meaningless background noise. Does this sound familiar?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, then you are right in thinking that you have to do something to break this cycle and get your son's attention, but violence is not the right thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 1: Take whatever it is away from him, get down to his level (at 6 this is probably going to mean kneeling or sitting), take hold of him by the shoulders and make him look at you. Keep telling him to look at you until he does so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 2: Tell him that what he is doing is wrong/dangerous/unacceptable/rude. Get him to acknowledge this, for instance saying &quot;Do you understand that?&quot; until he says &quot;yes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 3: Tell him that if he doesn't stop immediately then you will take some action. Make it a credible action you are prepared to take immediately, because you MUST follow through with it. It might just be 5 minutes on the naughty step, it might be going home right away, but it has to be now because future threats (bed with no tea or something) are too far away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beating a child merely teaches him that violence is how to get your way. Its also illegal in a lot of places. Don't go there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-10-31T16:40:47.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21954" CreationDate="2015-11-01T01:30:41.360" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would look into autism. A lot of what you have described are traits if autistic children. And all are different and it's a wide spectrum so jjust because he learns some things quickly or is good for the most part doesn't mean it's not possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19593" LastActivityDate="2015-11-01T01:30:41.360" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22812" CreationDate="2015-11-01T04:02:26.483" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, welcome to our forum!  You have a multi-faceted question which I believe cannot be condensed to a single question without losing the nature of the underlying question.  That said, such a question requires a multi-faceted answer, so I hope you will take the time to read what I write.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, with such a question an absolute answer &lt;em&gt;cannot&lt;/em&gt; be given; though an anecdotal answer &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be given and it is my hope that my anecdotal answer helps your family and, more importantly in my view, your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, some background.  When I was young, my father beat us -- my mother as well as myself and my siblings.  He regularly spent time in jail and when I tell people of how often we moved (I had &lt;em&gt;at least&lt;/em&gt; 2 schools for every school year), they ask if he was in the military, only to be shocked to find out it was because we were running from him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter came  back from her mother's one time and ask me, &quot;Daddy, what do I do when mommy goes into a bar and leaves me outside all night? I just got scared and slept in a plastic bag behind a bush.&quot;  When I suggested calling 9-1-1 (the American emergency number), she told me she didn't have the 25¢ to call the police. (FYI: The call is toll-free, but how is a young child to know that!?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later in life my father became a Jehovah's Witness and disavowed cussing, violence, getting drunk, and cheating on his wife -- a 180° turn on his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter's mother hasn't called her since the week &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; her last birthday, almost 2 months ago.  Her birthday present from her mother came 6 weeks late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;End of background and now on to your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have expressed a desire to be balanced in how you handle things, promoting the best relationship with her father that you can.  You have also expressed that you don't want to lie to her, but aren't sure how to proceed given both desires because they appear to be contradictory.  And, that, is the true question underlying your post here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've done well!  You've done everything you can to promote a good relationship!  Keep that in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my daughter, I refuse to speak ill of her mother.  I have consented to their visits even when I was pensive about its success.  I believe, though, that we will have to answer to our children when they are adults for our sins; that it is not just a matter of when they are a certain number of years old.  Most times it has been regrettable; sometimes positive.  No one, though, can say that I have &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt; tried to interfere in their relationship... it is what it is through no fault or credit of mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that in mind, some specific answers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You cannot control the father and should not try to control him.  You know this already, but when you are wondering what you should do in regards to his relationship with your daughter, you're asking a question you cannot answer -- only he can answer how that relationship will go.  Importantly, so long as you do not interfere in a negative fashion, you &lt;em&gt;are not responsible&lt;/em&gt; for their relationship.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A child &lt;em&gt;appropriately&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;wants&lt;/strong&gt; to love &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; be loved by &lt;strong&gt;both parents&lt;/strong&gt;... they are immensely forgiving in exchange for the love they desire and deserve.  Sometimes this results in disappointment.  When she experiences that, be there for her; listen to her; empathize with her, and, as you have done, do not speak ill of her father.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In my non-professional opinion, his expressed desire to relinquish parental rights is an attempt to relinquish parental responsibility, but not his rights... that makes someone else the scapegoat. As it stands in your described situation, he has already relinquished his rights, and in addition to not handling her day-to-day needs, since he does not pay for her care, he need only escape his legal right of parental responsibility (aka child support [which never goes away!])  There's no benefit to your daughter in this regard -- a parent is &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; responsible for their non-adult children (and, even, sometimes thereafter!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, to conclude...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My father was the devil of fathers.  Until I was 13 he was worse from year to year... but, ultimately, he changed into someone for whom I could care (and forgive.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter's mother was awesome when we got together (I know, rather implicit!), and has subsequently left much to desire...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, who am I to say that things cannot get better?  That's an easy answer: I am &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; that person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, so long as my daughter is safe from harm, I do what I can to encourage the &lt;em&gt;opportunity&lt;/em&gt; for a relationship with her mother.  I cannot encourage the relationship any more than that as it is not a relationship which I am a part of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said at the beginning, you have a multi-faceted question that requires a multi-faceted answer.  I hope that this ending does not leave you with the feeling that an answer has not be received, but, rather, that what you needed to know has been shared from someone on both sides of history.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-11-01T04:02:26.483" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22772" CreationDate="2015-11-01T04:29:23.023" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You wrote&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Saying no without explanation never worked with me. I won't expect the child to follow orders without knowing why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my philosophies is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;When you tell you children &quot;no&quot;, what they really hear is, &quot;I'd better not find out when you do.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on my philosophy, I applaud yours!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the kudos somewhat aside...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have &lt;em&gt;force&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;reason&lt;/em&gt;... there isn't a middle ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You quite appropriately reject force, so how can one apply reason?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer is almost too obvious: the same way you were convinced.  Share with your child your understanding &lt;em&gt;in terms they can understand&lt;/em&gt; and let them come to their own conclusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In &lt;em&gt;How to Win Friends &amp;amp; Influence People&lt;/em&gt; an old saying is quoted:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Men must be taught as if you taught them not;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  things unknown proposed as things forgot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point of that chapter is that if someone arrives at &lt;strong&gt;their&lt;/strong&gt; own conclusion, they will defend it &lt;em&gt;far&lt;/em&gt; more than one imposed upon them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared for the worst: they may know the consequences of their choice and decide to accept the consequence(s).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot ultimately control your children (&lt;strong&gt;nor do you want to&lt;/strong&gt;), but you can educate them so that they can make their own decision(s).  The goal, after all, of parenting, is not to create automatons, but critically-thinking adults well-prepared for a life of choices... and no matter what we think, I suggest that at many points they will agree and at many other points they will disagree... if they have &lt;em&gt;reasons&lt;/em&gt; for their decisions, then we will have been successful in creating superb adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-11-01T04:29:23.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22242" CreationDate="2015-11-01T07:22:41.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gradually introduce incentives focusing on his favorite things as rewards. Also translate words he uses regularly into English when he uses the Spanish version.&#xA;As a child, I had to go through a similar transition and for me television played a big role. I don't know if he enjoys television, if he does dedicate some time to shows he likes that are in English and encourage him to ask about words he doesn't understand. In the beginning, this encouragement might involve you spending time with him watching the shows and translating the words and sentences you think are complex. As his confidence increases you can gradually extract yourself and introduce a dictionary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, if he has completely rejected the idea that you are there to stay, he is probably still in shock and/or experiencing a great deal of anxiety. I would suggest you spend sometime discussing this with him and listening to him. Intelligent children often want to be heard. If this doesn't help I would suggest getting a psychologist involved as the problem may involve other factors you haven't considered like bullying or isolation at school. Changing environments often also means changes in etiquette, this is often confusing for young children as what was perfectly normal becomes somewhat taboo in another environment. What was taboo can also be deemed normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps and good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19598" LastActivityDate="2015-11-01T07:22:41.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22821" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-01T19:39:22.477" Score="0" ViewCount="477" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does &quot;gestational age&quot; of an unborn child count from the first day of the last menstrual period of the mother?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19427" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-02T17:58:42.830" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T12:32:47.880" Title="Calculating gestational age of a baby" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22821" CreationDate="2015-11-01T19:50:32.627" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, the gestational age is counted from the first day of the mother's most recent menstrual cycle. From &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002367.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Gestational Age on the NIH site&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Gestational age is the common term used during pregnancy to describe how far along the pregnancy is. It is measured in weeks, from the first day of the woman's last menstrual cycle to the current date. A normal pregnancy can range from 38 to 42 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9114" LastActivityDate="2015-11-01T19:50:32.627" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22821" CreationDate="2015-11-01T20:08:32.037" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the absence of reasons to use another date, yes, the first day of the last menstrual period is used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are cases where this is inaccurate, for example women with cycles that deviate from 28 days by more than a few days, or women who got pregnant using a birth control method that suppresses periods (implant, continuous birth control pills, some IUDs). In those cases, the earliest ultrasound in which an embryo can be seen (usually week 6 to 10 of pregnancy) is used. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2013/10/17/whats-in-a-week-pregnancy-dating-standards-and-what-they-mean/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How Doctors Date Pregnancies&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastActivityDate="2015-11-01T20:08:32.037" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22824" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22825" CreationDate="2015-11-02T00:43:36.737" Score="3" ViewCount="267" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age should this be started? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to go about it such that the child doesn't feel bored?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19584" LastActivityDate="2015-11-02T09:58:18.940" Title="From what age should I expect the child to pick up her toys which she scattered while playing?" Tags="|discipline|age-appropriate|toys|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22824" CreationDate="2015-11-02T09:58:18.940" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;From toddlerhood onwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do it together - initially you'll be doing almost all of it and the balance should gradually shift over the years as they get older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first, give out copious praise even for small acts of tidying up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make it a race.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have something desirable / positive to do next, once tidying up is done. Don't let them do the fun thing until they've helped with tidying up, even if it's just one symbolic thing that they tidy eg car into box.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sing the &quot;Tidy Up Time&quot; song together while you're doing it (or your local equivalent that they might get to know from nursery / kindergarten/ etc). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the tune of Frere Jacques:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Tidy up time, tidy up time&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Toys away, toys away&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Everybody helping, everybody helping&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Toys away, toys away&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(Repeat until tidy).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2015-11-02T09:58:18.940" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22828" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22845" CreationDate="2015-11-02T17:12:51.290" Score="4" ViewCount="268" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two kids 5 and 2 years old&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I picked the best school I can afford in my area for my 5 years old kid&#xA;But I'm not okay with the overall result &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I'm considering to start homeschooling both kids at home using Montessori&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've two questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Will my 5 years old kid will take advantage from Montessori or it is too late?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Where can I find a clear and organized guidance to start Montessori at home, there is so many resources out there, but I still can't find the clear and organized one I look for&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19607" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T15:53:16.157" Title="How to start Montessori at home" Tags="|homeschooling|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22829" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22832" CreationDate="2015-11-02T18:33:11.910" Score="4" ViewCount="3902" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is 11 weeks pregnant and made appointment to one of the doctors around our area. When we went they did few tests on her but the doctor did not even talk to her nor ask her how her pregnancy was going. He told her that she is having a healthy pregnancy from the looks of it and asked her to make an appointment to do the bloodwork and let her go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was hoping he would talk to me or to her to tell us whats ok to do and whats not ok or what vitamins/medications if any she should be taking etc... I thought first doctor's visit would be the longest visit. I am curious if this has happened to anyone else and if its normal and if I should switch doctor. We made another appointment with same doctor 4 weeks after and going to ask him this same question on why he is being so careless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19608" LastActivityDate="2015-11-05T13:34:29.890" Title="My wife had her first doctor's appointment and it took exactly 15 minutes is that ok?" Tags="|pregnancy|doctor|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22828" CreationDate="2015-11-02T19:15:31.920" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although Montessori is most popular in the preschool and early childhood years, the method actually covers all the way through high school, although it looks different at different ages.  5 years old is still a very beneficial age for montessori homeschooling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We don't follow montessori ourselves, but I believe it's one of those methods that places a lot more emphasis on principles over curriculum.  In other words, it lays out a number of principles that make for a good education, rather than providing a step by step plan.  That can make it a little overwhelming for someone getting started.  My suggestion would be to read a couple books on the philosophy, then find a montessori-specific online support group to ask about the day to day materials and activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The overabundance of information is actually a blessing.  Take some time and find other people whose educational style and philosophy matches yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll also want to find local homeschooling organizations, online or in person, to cover the various legal requirements.  Depending on where you live, the paperwork involved can be either non-existent or quite burdensome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-11-02T19:15:31.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22829" CreationDate="2015-11-02T20:51:29.583" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm just a parent, and &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; a husband at that, but here it is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately doctors schedule patients for 10 to 15 minutes at the most, so the time they are with you will average around that.  Some patients won't have questions, and others will need more time, so it tends to average out and works in general, so I'd say that 10-15 minutes is normal for an appointment&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I believe that the first visit for the first pregnancy should be given more time.  If he didn't ask you if you had questions or seemed to rush off before you could react, I would look for a new doctor.  The doctor should be willing to answer your questions.  Not all doctors are equal, and one of my wife's regrets is not finding a new doctor that she liked more just because it was easier to keep going to the first one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On several of my (and my wife's) doctors appointments, the doctors always seem to be in and out as quickly as we let them so my biggest advice is to prepare a list of questions you want answered, and ask the doctor the first time you see them on your visit before you let them leave the room.  Even a great doctor isn't going to stick around in the room if it seems like you don't have anything to talk about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11940" LastActivityDate="2015-11-02T20:51:29.583" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22829" CreationDate="2015-11-02T20:57:12.200" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Different doctors are different.  Some really enjoy the prenatal stuff and make a big deal out of it.  Others prefer to leave that to doulas or birthing classes, and got into the profession for other reasons.  They assume if you have questions or concerns you will bring them up.  You may have gotten a doctor on that end of the spectrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind, though, that I've had doctors avoid doing &quot;information dumps&quot; on the first visit.  I think it's part of their training, because patients tend to be a little overwhelmed and don't listen very well.  If you have specific questions, be assertive and ask them.  You seem to be mostly concerned he didn't tell you things you already know, which doesn't make sense to me.  As for the brevity of the visit, that doesn't seem that unusual.  Often the nurse practitioner will be able to give you much more time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there's still a personality mismatch, better to switch doctors sooner than later.  Ask local friends and family for recommendations, after telling them your concerns.  That's the best way to get a doctor you love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-11-02T20:57:12.200" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22834" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22836" CreationDate="2015-11-02T22:08:45.800" Score="4" ViewCount="2056" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am planning for the future time (hopefully this year) when a nasty divorce that involves a child (my grandchild) is finalized.  Over the past 5 years, my relationship with my daughter-in-law has varied from warm to warfare, mostly due to her low threshold of anger/outrage, and is now at a low point.  (The change in the relationship did not mirror the demise of the marriage.) Yet this person is the mother of my grandchild.  Although we do not live in the same city, we will certainly run into each other from time to time.  Beyond that we may try to keep the lines of communication open by tele and email.  I am wondering what names former father-in-laws use with their former daughter-in-laws, assuming there is any contact at all.  In the past, she has called me &quot;Dad&quot; (perhaps because she did not have any father in her life.)  So, what names do ex-fathers-in-law use in communicating with their former daughters-in-law?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2021-01-17T19:32:57.060" Title="What names can a father-in-law use w former daughter-in-law after a divorce" Tags="|divorce|grandparents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22811" CreationDate="2015-11-02T22:13:41.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've found that distraction and redirection works most of the time.  For example, would you like a snack, would you like to go for a walk, would you like...  You might try wedding that with a statement such as, You cannot do that.  (Of course, beating is not a tenable approach in this day and age.  Beyond that, the child will quickly learn that you do not use physical methods in public and will use that knowledge.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2015-11-02T22:13:41.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22834" CreationDate="2015-11-02T23:45:41.690" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What do you call her now? Do you call her &quot;daughter&quot;, or &quot;DIL&quot; or some other such relationship-specific name?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a divorce, depending on how close the relationship is, your daughter-in-law might continue calling you &quot;Dad&quot; (an honorary title), or she may switch to calling you by your first name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no reason I can think of that you have to stop calling her by her name, or can't start doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-11-02T23:45:41.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22579" CreationDate="2015-11-03T00:06:08.993" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmm. My son asked me the same thing this week.  I wrote him this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Most children should grow out of thumb sucking and pacifier use between the ages of 3 to 4. As long as the habit is discontinued well before their permanent teeth come in, your child should be fine.&quot;&#xA;source&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dentistry.com/daily-dental-care/pediatric-dentistry/the-effects-of-thumb-sucking-and-pacifier-use-on-teeth&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.dentistry.com/daily-dental-care/pediatric-dentistry/the-effects-of-thumb-sucking-and-pacifier-use-on-teeth&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;The middle teeth are usually the first to go (at 6 to 7 years), followed by the ones on either side (at 7 to 8 years).&quot;&#xA;source&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-childs-teething-and-tooth-loss-timeline_10356447.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-childs-teething-and-tooth-loss-timeline_10356447.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T00:06:08.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22829" CreationDate="2015-11-03T00:47:01.900" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My wife had her first doctor's appointment and it took exactly 15 minutes. Is that ok?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It depends on a lot of factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first pre-natal visit (that's what they're called) with an obstetrician should be at least half an hour long, &lt;em&gt;unless&lt;/em&gt; your wife saw a trained associate of the obstetrician before that visit, who gathered all the information common on the first visit and did a routine physical exam. Such a person could be a nurse, a nurse practitioner, a physician's assistant, or some other associate. The information would be reviewed by the obstetrician at or before the time of the visit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On that visit, your wife should have been checked for fetal heart sounds as well (by someone.) That's not an ultrasound - though they're often done as well - but rather a small doppler device with an amplifier that detects the beating of the baby's heart. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone else gathered the information and did an exam (including Pap and pelvic, maybe screening for STDs as well) and nothing was noted to be wrong, the first visit with the doctor usually consists of reassurance that the results were fine, some &quot;getting to know each other&quot; chit-chat, and most importantly, *&quot;Do you have any questions for me?&quot; The physician should be &lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; sensitive to the patient if it's her first pregnancy or if she's had any miscarriages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Questions common on the first visit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have you thought of a birth plan?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is there anything you want to discuss about your prenatal testing?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you want to be tested for Down Syndrome, birth defects or certain genetic conditions?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you planning to breastfeed/take Lamaze classes/etc.?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do you have any problems with any of my partners potentially delivering your baby?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there were no questions (often people don't have questions because they don't know what to ask), information about pregnancy - what's normal and what's not - can be given in the form of handouts, as well as a prescription for prenatal vitamins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I was hoping he would talk to me...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you weren't in the room, I (as someone doing the prenatal visit) would think the patient was there alone. Asking you to accompany your wife on the visit is an assistant's job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am curious if... I should switch doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If none of the above happened? I would think that was a wise move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-first-prenatal-visit_9344.bc&quot;&gt;Your first prenatal visit&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/abstract/1994/10000&quot;&gt;Do Providers Adhere to ACOG Standards? The Case of Prenatal Care.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aafp.org/afp/2005/0401/p1307.html&quot;&gt;Evidence-Based Prenatal Care: Part I. General Prenatal Care and Counseling Issues&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T00:47:01.900" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22839" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22840" CreationDate="2015-11-03T02:04:59.263" Score="3" ViewCount="1891" Body="&lt;p&gt;Christianity, aside from it's appearance in bad light the past couple of years, has a lot of meaningful values. It teaches children to control their emotions through telling stories. The knowledge of the story of Jesus will support the history courses they'll be taught etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, I feel like I shouldn't force a religion upon a child. I absolutely feel that every person should be able to choose if and or what religion they can sympathize to yet the education system here (Belgium) isn't exactly very engaged in filling or even creating courses to replace Religion with in elementary school for example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was not raised as a Catholic but my girlfriend is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice or anecdotes are welcome !&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14008" LastActivityDate="2015-11-06T21:31:02.343" Title="Split-religion parents, should we baptize our children" Tags="|religion|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22839" CreationDate="2015-11-03T02:50:57.633" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Baptism is not an inculcation, but an expression of a commitment. If your child has not had their skills of knowledge between right and wrong developed, how can they commit (Hebrews 5:14)?  More so, how can they follow the instruction to love with all their heart and soul (Deuteronomy 6:5)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you must force your child to believe through &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; means, then your child is not yet a believer.  Belief cannot be forced, it cannot be rushed, it can only be accepted.  As the saying goes, &quot;A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was around 8yo, I asked to be baptized.  I was denied because I could not fully understand the consequences of my choice.  When I was 19, I was baptized.  I am no longer religious.  The path we follow does not always follow the choices we make, but if we are educated to think for ourselves, we will follow the path we feel is best for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If forced against one's will, one is more likely to oppose the force -- even if it is reasonable -- so, ask yourselves this: What's the rush?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know no better answer than to ask a question, but I hope it is helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T02:50:57.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22811" CreationDate="2015-11-03T03:26:10.473" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;However you choose to deal with the issue, your actions are a means of communicating with your child.  &lt;strong&gt;Do you want him to fear you?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;Then beat him.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Do you want him to follow you out of ignorance?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;Then demand he obey &quot;or else&quot;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, on the other hand, &lt;strong&gt;you want a critically-thinking adult who can make up his own mind&lt;/strong&gt;, then don't fear educating him.  If you are wanting him to immediately stop something, then set the background for him.  For example, with my daughter, I told her that she was always free to question what I told her to do &lt;em&gt;except&lt;/em&gt; if I said, &quot;that's an order.&quot;  If I said that, she was to do it immediately without question, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;but&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; she could ask me for an explanation later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This was good since I believe that if I don't have a &lt;strong&gt;reason&lt;/strong&gt;, then I shouldn't be &lt;strong&gt;ordering&lt;/strong&gt; her anyway.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ten years after being the age of your son, my daughter follows the same principles.  On some occasions which were not emergencies, her thinking was correct, so I gave in -- we can all be wrong after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The underlying principle is that if someone is willing to accept the consequences for their actions, then there is really nothing that can be done.  We can, however, preempt that by teaching critical thinking from the earliest of days so that the conclusion they reach is as good (if not better!) than our own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then our child can grow into an adult we can be proud of: they do not fear the unknown, do not run from the unknown, and have no need to fear negative consequences for doing what they think to be right -- they are independent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T03:26:10.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22842" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22844" CreationDate="2015-11-03T05:43:55.877" Score="3" ViewCount="359" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our first child had no problems speaking quite clearly.&#xA;However, our second child who is 2 years old&#xA;has trouble pronouncing sounds like &quot;vee&quot; and &quot;fee&quot;.&#xA;For example, &quot;vessel&quot; becomes &quot;bessel&quot; and &quot;Sophia&quot; becomes &quot;So-bee-ia&quot;.&#xA;Will this problem naturally correct itself as she grows older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know a friend who had a 4-year old who needed speech therapy,&#xA;though I do not know why he needed it and whether it was helpful.&#xA;How do we know if speech therapy is helpful or necessary?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4718" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-11-03T14:25:58.733" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T09:16:31.700" Title="Should I be concerned that my 2 year-old cannot pronounce sounds like &quot;vee&quot; and &quot;fee&quot;?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22839" CreationDate="2015-11-03T09:43:18.203" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are mainly concerned about your child learning about religion, there is no need to baptize them for that purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can not only teach them all you want them to learn about religion at home, you can also go to church with them without having made the promise of raising them Catholic (which is what a baptism is). Nobody will stop you from telling them stories from the Bible or sending them to Sunday school, if  such a thing exists where you are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you don't do that, living in a society that is dominated by Christianity, your child will pick up on a lot (Christmas Story, Easter  story, etc) even without you explicitly telling these things and will likely have questions that you can use as a starting point for talking about religion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to that, you can also talk to your child about other religions, and why you are not baptized (I couldn't determine from the question whether you identify as non-religious or just not belonging to a specific Christian group).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From experience (raised Protestant, but went to Catholic school, now an Atheist), the Catholic Church takes baptism rather seriously. Since your child can always get baptized later if they wish to, I'd at least have a long talk with a priest before considering baptism. And your wife, of course. Depending on her beliefs, she might be very invested in having a child baptised, to free the child of the original sin. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's not something many people who later leave the faith are bothered by, you might also want to know that &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In late August 2010, the Holy See confirmed that it was no longer possible to defect formally  from the Catholic Church&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formal_act_of_defection_from_the_Catholic_Church&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Source: Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to the Vatican, baptism binds you for life (there are exceptions, like if you comitt a grave sin you are automatically excommunicated, but that's beyond the scope of this answer, I think) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-11-03T18:44:25.487" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T18:44:25.487" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22844" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22842" CreationDate="2015-11-03T14:30:29.603" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This behavior is a normal part of development for a two-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 24 months a child should have about 70% accuracy of consonants, and by 36 months about 87% accuracy. Producing &quot;b&quot; instead of &quot;f&quot; is one example of a very common mistake a child of this age might make. Of course, if it seems like the accuracy is worse than 70%, or if the child does not seem to be improving in a few months, you may want to ask your pediatrician if speech therapy would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Technical Details:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In technical terms, this kind of mistake is called producing a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stop_consonant&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;stop&lt;/a&gt; instead of a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fricative_consonant&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;fricative&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the source paper, this is the top listed error for a 24 month old:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Target fricatives/affricates are produced as stops&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Source&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.3109/02699206.2013.766764&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Early phonological development: Creating an&#xA;assessment test - Carol Stoel-Gammon &amp;amp; A. Lynn Williams&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4481" LastEditorUserId="4481" LastEditDate="2015-11-03T14:45:44.510" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T14:45:44.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22828" CreationDate="2015-11-03T15:53:16.157" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the major disadvantages you'll have to figure out how to deal with is that a pillar - if not the core itself - of Montessori is teaching others.  You have two children, so you can teach this to some extent; but you're going to have to either get together with other like-minded folks, or else figure out other ways to get those benefits, particularly for your younger child.  It's possible to do, but you will have to think about it; it's something I would make sure to have a good solution to at the outset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also will face a significant expense in purchasing materials, if you're going to follow all of the practices; Montessori is very hands-on, and so while a &quot;regular&quot; math class would involve just pencil and paper, a Montessori class uses bead strings, number tiles, and other similar physical and visual aids to help the children understand the concepts at a more physical level.  The materials for a preschool to kindergarten (3-6) class are going to run several thousand (US) dollars, just one set of everything (which should be fine), and then additional purchases will be required as they get older.  You may be able to find some (or even all) of the materials used for less, but it will not be a small expense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these issues are less problematic if you can find other like-minded parents and work with them.  You can share these expenses for purchasing supplies (you don't need all supplies every day of course), and you can have days where the children work together to gain the advantages from that.  That would always be recommended for home schooling, but in particular for Montessori I think it's necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, I would &lt;em&gt;strongly&lt;/em&gt; recommend finding out if you can find other parents in your area.  If you're in (or in a suburb of) a larger city, there are certainly homeschooling networks; some of them will likely be Montessori-influenced.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd also suggest talking to some of those parents you find and perhaps observing them if they'll allow it.  Homeschooling requires you to do quite a lot of work, and requires a good understanding of what's needed to help your child grow.  Watching another parent who's successfully doing so will help you get an idea for how you can approach things - and this will continue to be true even as you become the parent who is successful, as you learn yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, there are some excellent online resources for Montessori education.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.montessori.edu/homeschooling.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Montessori.edu&lt;/a&gt; has a page on homeschooling, for example; several sites have &lt;a href=&quot;http://livingmontessorinow.com/2011/05/31/how-to-set-up-a-montessori-homeschool-classroom/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;pages about setting up a Montessori home school environment&lt;/a&gt;. There are quite a lot of pages like this out there; look around and find the one that matches your needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as whether it's too late to start, it's not; 5 is later than usual, perhaps, but if you've been teaching your child to be self-sufficient and to do things like put away his toys and clean up his plate, you've already been teaching him things that he'd learn in the preschool portion of Montessori education.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T15:53:16.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22846" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22863" CreationDate="2015-11-03T18:50:04.467" Score="4" ViewCount="439" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am divorced and have custody of my children. I noticed that my 9-year-old daughter is eating much more food than she usually does and she has gained so much weight. She eats more during meals and in between. I also see her raiding the fridge and bringing food up to her room at night. It's been going on slowly over the past year or so but it's gradually becoming more and more with the food and frequency. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel she is eating to comfort herself.  I'm wondering if any other divorced parent has gone through this and how did you approach this?  I should add that I'm her father and her mother is out of her life now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19618" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-30T20:58:54.070" LastActivityDate="2018-10-30T20:58:54.070" Title="How to help my 9-year-old daughter with an eating disorder (comfort eating)?" Tags="|eating|middle-childhood|divorce|single-parent|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22847" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22851" CreationDate="2015-11-03T19:29:01.610" Score="5" ViewCount="6882" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are having trouble with our 2.5/3-year-old daughter. We have a newborn (1 month old) that we believe is the reason. We are guessing she is jealous of the attention that her new baby brother is getting, when &lt;strong&gt;she&lt;/strong&gt; used to get all of the attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is now starting to act out in a big way, but only to us parents. We have a nanny who watches her Monday through Friday and she's an angel to her (our daughter acts just fine for the nanny).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just today, (wife just texted me), she was throwing a very big tantrum, not doing anything that her mother asked her. Then, the nanny goes over to her and asks her to stop and she does, &lt;strong&gt;immediately&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is she only listening/behaving for our nanny, and not her actual parents. It seems to be getting worse each day. We try and stay calm, and give her timeouts when she's really naughty, but they don't seem to help. We bribe her some, but that doesn't seem to help either. The next day/hour she'll be acting out again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Any help&lt;/strong&gt; is appreciated here!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6640" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-25T15:57:40.810" LastActivityDate="2018-11-25T15:57:40.810" Title="3-year-old acts out for parents, but not for nanny" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|tantrums|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22772" CreationDate="2015-11-03T20:07:17.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The truth will help, as follows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sweets have pros and cons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pros:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tastes good&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some candy has caffeine, which causes a little boost &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Appetite is satiated so less healthy foods are eaten. This will hurt in the long run. Each day is part of the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sticky sweet candy sticks to the teeth and causes tooth decay.&#xA;Note: Non-sticky sweets pose relatively little risk to teeth because the sugar does not stay long in contract with the teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some sweets cause pimples, esp for teenagers.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cost&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some candies are mostly artificial (all chemicals). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Candy makers do research to find out how to sell candy to kids (e.g., through ads that deceive - - younger kids do not know that ads are not designed to be objective and truthful).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastEditorUserId="19613" LastEditDate="2015-11-03T20:46:05.917" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T20:46:05.917" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22849" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22858" CreationDate="2015-11-03T21:30:50.690" Score="11" ViewCount="45118" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love my daughter so much but she is destroying my marriage. I cannot get her to stay in any bedroom when it is time to sleep. When she was younger she would at least allow one of her brothers to lay down with her but now she demands daddy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I walk out of the room she starts screaming and crying as if someone was murdering her, shortly after she comes out of the room. This wouldn't be so bad if she went right to sleep but she takes an hour to fall asleep which ruins our night. To make things worse, lately she has started waking up in the middle of the night and if she realizes I am not there she resorts to screaming and crying then hunts me down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried walking her back calmly with her screaming and crying and immediately getting up hunting me down. We have stopped allowing her to watch any screens before bed. She used to drink warm milk before bed but she doesn't want that anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you do with a daughter who will not stay in the room and screaming bloody murder? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bedtime Routine:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We usually try turning off all screens 30min - 1hr before bed time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Attempt to have any screen time before bed time light hearted, she is huge on those surprise egg youtube videos.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We do not have a big song and dance before bed, usually it is change her diaper, if she doesn't have PJ's on put them on her, and we have a short good night kiss tradition passed down. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;I love you&quot;, kiss, &quot;Sweet Dreams&quot;, kiss, &quot;Good Night&quot;, bunch of kisses! [Just in case anyone is looking for one :)]&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She used to request her &quot;binky&quot; (pacifier) and a glass of warm milk but she hasn't asked for it in over a week (since she got sick, she is better now)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She then says &quot;daddy, me&quot; and pats the pillow to ask me to lay down. I have tried not entering the room, asking her if she wants mommy or one of her brothers but she will only accept me. (this is a love/hate thing lol)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other Details:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She seems to always have a hard time breathing, her finger is always up her nose or blowing her nose. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She refuses all medication, liquid or chewables of any types. When she gets a fever the only thing we can do is give her a suppository. I wish she would take allergy medication, at times I can get her to chew one buts its rare.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She is big into monsters, Hotel Transylvania, Monster University, Monster Inc, Nightmare Before Christmas. I was leery at first but I kinda feel they teach her that monsters aren't anything to be afraid of since they kinda &quot;humanize&quot; them. She does watch other light hearted stuff as well though, more so than the monster flix.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She snores most of the time, she also seem to always uncover herself. I have tried dressing her lighter and putting less blankets on to ensure she isn't getting too hot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Generally she stays asleep once asleep but lately she has been waking up looking for me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She sleeps in our bed, she has a bed and we have tried laying her down in her bed but she just tosses and turns and moves around until we put her in our bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When she sleeps with me, most of the time she snuggles up so close to me, i usually turn on my side facing away from her so she can burrow into my back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I attempt to put a pillow close to her when I sneak out so she still has a sensation of being next to someone.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She not only screams and cries but she gets up and leaves the room over and over again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We got her a nightlight to see if that helps, only 1 day in with that, it is a subtle yellow dim light.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this additional information helps answer my plea for help :P&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;~ exhausted father&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow up: &#xA;Daughter is 5yo now. She still falls asleep in our bed but if she wakes up when I am moving her she doesn't mind going to her own room. Finally getting personal time. Getting her to sleep has been easier as well. I unfortunately could not stay consistent nor patient enough to most of the suggestions here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My recommendation is, do not start letting them sleep with you to begin with or you may be in for a long term damaging situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastEditorUserId="3393" LastEditDate="2017-11-03T19:53:09.680" LastActivityDate="2017-11-03T19:53:09.680" Title="3yr old refuses to sleep without me" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22847" CreationDate="2015-11-03T22:19:01.993" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Acting out for parents and not for others is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; common.  Your children feel &lt;em&gt;safe&lt;/em&gt; around you; they know that you will love them unconditionally, and they know how you'll respond to their actions and behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What all that means, is that they know you won't leave them if they misbehave.  You'll act in some consistent way - which might be not something they want, per se, such as telling them to stop - but it'll be consistent, and they will know how to deal with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Others, people at daycare, school, nanny, whatever, are unknown quantities.  They don't know exactly what will happen if they act out.  So they are more compliant.  They don't feel as safe - not to say they feel &lt;em&gt;unsafe&lt;/em&gt; per se, I'm sure your nanny is perfectly nice and they love her dearly.  But, they don't have three+ years experience to draw on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, what do you do about it?  As far as her behavior with you goes, treat that as you would without the nanny's existence.  Find a strategy that is consistent with your beliefs and seems to work, and stick to it.  Your child is in a complicated time in her life, and it's not surprising that you're having some difficulty; most of us do at somewhere between 20 and 40 months, and many of us do for that entire period.  There are quite a few questions on the site both on how to deal with behavior issues with a toddler of this age range, and how to deal with a new sibling; use those for your inspiration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's probably stressful that your daughter behaves more poorly for you than for her nanny, but realistically that's not a problem - it's a good thing.  Be happy she behaves well for others - that's really hard for some children.  Also makes it a lot easier on you - you only have to work with her on behavior at home, not behavior at school/etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-11-03T22:19:01.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8774" CreationDate="2015-11-04T04:41:29.693" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Agree with answers here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only posting this because I just went through same thing. My 3 year old (almost 4 now) would just stay there until you went to get him, even on Saturdays if I got up and turned on cartoons in the living room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I decided not to worry too much about it, and then a few weeks ago he just started getting up on his own because I guess he was ready to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he comes downstairs to wake us up if WE try to sleep in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So enjoy it while you can, man. Enjoy it while you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11432" LastActivityDate="2015-11-04T04:41:29.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22849" CreationDate="2015-11-04T10:01:15.167" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, here is what my doctor told me to do for my toddler and it worked. At the beginning, she couldn't sleep alone and our nights were horrible. Finally, she sleeps all the night and goes to her bed by herself (2.5 years old):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The hardest thing is to let her cry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When it is time sleep, just put her in her bed without any routine : just a kiss, a song, or a story, but no light, no door open, no milk, no 24 plushes... and go ahead.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she cries, go back after 1 minute and tell here you are here and that she has not to worry. Then, go back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wait 10 minutes, and if she still cries, go to see her again, just for a short moment, then get out of the room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Next time, you'll have to wait 20 mins, then 30 mins. In my case, it worked after 20 minutes. It was difficult to let her cry (you think she suffers and/or could die, really), but kids are great actors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter has a bad habit, and it takes 7 days to change. So, stay strong during 1 full week.&#xA;You may explain her that you have to stay with your wife, your bed is not her bed, etc, but I think you should already have done that. If you repeat it again and again, she will finish to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In brief, you have to stay firm. It may be difficult at the beginning, even in the middle of the night, but it is sadly the only way...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17458" LastActivityDate="2015-11-04T10:01:15.167" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22849" CreationDate="2015-11-04T11:19:32.497" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;About 2 years ago I saw something that might help you.  I picked up my not quite 3 yo grandson from his daycare early one day.  There were about 15 kids taking naps, all within about a year of his age.  I asked the person in charge how she got them all to bed down and sleep at the same time.  She said that when they wake up she gives them a candy if they had gone to sleep nicely.  Now some of these kids were basically preverbal.  But they all had figured it out.  For a small amount of candy they happily went to sleep and when they woke up, they happily asked for their candy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2015-11-04T11:19:32.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22849" CreationDate="2015-11-04T15:20:04.550" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old developed this habit (needing us to sit in the room with him while he fell asleep). Having us in there was a double-edged sword, in that it would keep him from screaming (and waking his 3-month-old sister) but he'd interact with us (questions, want us to rub his back, etc) which kept him awake for an hour or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over the last week or so, I started doing the whole bedtime routine, then when he lays down (when I would normally sit down with him) I told him I was going to stand outside his door for one minute, then come sit down. The first night I left his door cracked so he could see me. The second night I closed the door. Third night we made it 2 minutes, then 3. By the end of a week, he'd go over 5 minutes, just lying there calmly. &lt;strong&gt;I always made sure to go back in &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; he started fussing, so it wasn't seen as a reward/reaction for fussing.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last weekend, our schedule didn't work for him to take a nap (he had been taking a 1.5-2.5 hour nap every day). So we figured rather than try to jam one in, we'd skip it and see what happened. Lo and behold, he didn't turn into a monster all afternoon. And the best part - when he went to bed, I stepped out for my 5+ minutes, and he fell asleep &lt;em&gt;all on his own&lt;/em&gt;. I made sure to tell him that he could fall asleep while I was outside his room, so that he wouldn't wake up later and be upset that I hadn't come back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We skipped the naps both Saturday and Sunday and it worked great. On Monday he was back at daycare and took a nap, so we were unsure how it would go. We did the same routine. He took a little longer, about 10 minutes, but fell asleep on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the TL;DR version: Start working on baby steps - leave for 30 seconds, then extend it a bit each day. It might take 2 weeks or more before you get to 5 minutes. Once she's comfortable with 10 minutes or so, wear her out. Whether that's no nap, or going to the park then the swimming pool then a playground then for a walk - make sure she is &lt;em&gt;physically&lt;/em&gt; exhausted when it's bedtime. And make sure you talk to her about how it's okay to fall asleep when you aren't there, to help combat the midnight waking and being upset that you aren't there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes a lot longer to break the habit than it does to make it, but consistency is the key. And suddenly you'll have your evening back, and it will be wonderful, but you'll miss those snuggles too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18898" LastActivityDate="2015-11-04T15:20:04.550" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22846" CreationDate="2015-11-04T15:23:49.437" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I advice 2 things :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Forbid her to take food up to her room and to eat between meals (you can put an exception on fruits if she is hungry). Eating healthy could reduce her gained of weight.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to speak to her but &lt;strong&gt;don't&lt;/strong&gt; say that she is getting weight or she will be fat if she doesn't stop to eat. Find out if she is depress or worried about the fact that you might not love her or it's her fault that you divorce or maybe something else (something at school). Try to comfort her that it's not because you don't love her mom anymore that you will stop to love her one day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19412" LastEditorUserId="19412" LastEditDate="2015-11-05T10:39:07.097" LastActivityDate="2015-11-05T10:39:07.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22829" CreationDate="2015-11-04T17:22:16.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a (formerly) practicing Ob/Gyn, my initial ob visits typically included the mom-to-be and anyone she cared to bring into the room, realizing some personal questions would be asked. The usual appointment time was about 40 minutes, less for some, more for others. Please realize, this was a couple years ago before managed care became so managed. I generally talked about what to expect during each trimester of pregnancy, the do's and dont's (safety, body changes, diet, exercise, alcohol, OTC medications, etc), answered questions, did an ultrasound (a luxury in my office at the time) to confirm how far along the pregnancy was, and did a full exam. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly, many pregnancies (50-80%) don't make it beyond 10-12 weeks. In this day and age, some doctor offices consider a 1st trimester pregnancy to be &quot;not worth the effort&quot; given the potential for pregnancy loss and consequently don't expend too much effort on the first visit if the gestation is so early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether or not to change doctors at this point has to be a personal decision based on your experience and preference. There are so many variables when it comes to choosing an Ob provider, it's hard to give any good advice. Based on the snippet of information provided, I'd be more comfortable seeing another provider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19625" LastActivityDate="2015-11-04T17:22:16.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21550" CreationDate="2015-11-04T22:46:44.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not sure if this is any help, but I've been washing our daughter (now 3 months old) in the shower more or less since birth, and she loves it -- and I love it too, but I love every single moment with her anyway. I had never considered doing this, but our 'maternity carer' (&lt;em&gt;kraamzorg&lt;/em&gt;, Dutch) suggested it. You might want to consider it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, be very careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18932" LastActivityDate="2015-11-04T22:46:44.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22829" CreationDate="2015-11-05T01:43:19.563" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't feel bad, I had a doctors appointment today at 1 and left at 3:15. Oh no, not because they cared oh so much about me, but because I'm pretty sure the doctor was running really late. He's pretty rude too.. so I guess you just have to pick and choose your docs, and if you want to get something out of them, stop them and ask. Or else they'll just move right on tot he next.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm 37 weeks pregnant and after my 2.5hour wait, I was seen for approximately 45 seconds with the little heartbeat monitor and he listened for 3 beats- didn't even time it or anything- and was told to come back next week. The only question I got was if they got my name right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19626" LastActivityDate="2015-11-05T01:43:19.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22846" CreationDate="2015-11-05T02:18:25.320" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I admire you for both recognizing the problem and seeking help. Single parenting is difficult; changing your daufghter's eating patterns will demand even more from you. :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, though, comfort eating is not an eating disorder. That's kind of like saying loneliness is a mood disorder. Neither is a disorder; both indicate an unmet need. Both should be handled with empathy and kindness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Foods to encourage and avoid&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lucky for you, at 9 years of age, she has a limited ability to buy her own food, so you have a lot of control over &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; she eats (as opposed to &lt;em&gt;how much&lt;/em&gt;.) The first step is fairly straightfoward: remove from the house any unhealthy foodstuffs, including (but not limited to):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sugary drinks and snack-type foods&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;salty and fatty type snack foods, especially crunchy stuff (the whole food-science of crunchiness mandates a lot of processing and also often fat)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;candy, especially chocolate&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ice cream&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep only healthy foods in the house. Few people want to eat two oranges in a row, but if they do, many fruits are mostly water. It's incredibly hard to binge on pomegranates. Grapes have fewer calories than raisins. Yogurt is better than ice cream. Avocados and almonds can provide healthier fats. An &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.californiaavocado.com/blog/drink-avocados-4-breakfast-smoothie-recipes&quot;&gt;avocado smoothie&lt;/a&gt; is a wonderful thing; you can share one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Substitutes for eating&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A warm and loving conversation is a salve for many wounds, and doesn't contain any calories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lead by example; be sure to model healthy eating habits for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dissociate food from rewards (don't reward with a trip to the ice-cream shop or pizza palace.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for patterns to disrupt. Disrupt them with a different activity she might enjoy or share a healthier snack with her while having a nice conversation where she has a chance to unload any problems she might be dealing with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure she has a good emotional vocabulary (I think this is really important for all kids, more so for kids experiencing issues.) Naming an emotion is a first step to understanding it and then awareness of how one is dealing with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage journaling (see above; needs vocabulary.) Journaling acknowledges self awareness by pondering events and how they made you feel, e.g. it made me happy/angry/lonely/grateful/envious/excited/hopeful? etc. If it takes, she'll have a tool to deal with her emotions other than reaching for food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help your daughter to explore other ways to deal with emotions, brainstorming with her some other ways to deal with emotions which trigger her eating. Some kind of exercise when she feels stressed out, reading a good book if she's bored, arranging a play date or sleep over to look forward to if she's feeling lonely, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dance with her. Seriously. Sometimes when my kids were bored, I would put on some upbeat or funny music and we would dance. We would pretend to tango, waltz (lots of twirling), rock &amp;amp; roll (tells you how old I am); I would teach my kids the dances of my youth. We had so much fun that we ended up all taking ballroom dancing as a family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are just the beginning. Reading about healthy foods, lifestyle changes, and &lt;em&gt;emotional eating&lt;/em&gt; will give you more helpful advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I really admire your willingness to explore this issue with her (and us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-11-05T02:18:25.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22864" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-05T07:04:45.900" Score="10" ViewCount="2086" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am really struggling with my 12 year old.  TBH we have always had problems but he is getting worse.  He is nasty, calling me an idiot, retard.  Just gone off to school and wrecked the kitchen by pulling all paperwork off the table, stormed off up at the hallway demanding to know where a phone case is. Shouting that I am a dick and useless.  I said I would tell his father, he just shouted back up the road that he doesn't care and that he is a gay dick anyway.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where do you go with this?  I work with children for goodness sake and only yesterday was on a behaviour course!  You think I would have the answers.  I am sitting here crying now and have to go and get my daughter up.  I feel like running away with her.  He bullies her too.  We have had counselling in the past and spent most of his primary life in with the Head about one matter or another.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is we are not some awful family, he gets the world - his Dad will do anything with him, he plays football, basketball.  I know he will come home tonight and apologise but I just cannot help hating him.  I am at a loss how to punish him as if you take something away he doesn't seem to care.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19630" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-11-07T20:44:36.363" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T20:30:57.253" Title="Cannot cope with my 12 year old bully" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22829" CreationDate="2015-11-05T13:34:29.890" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Doctors and patients are all different and what's okay and what's right really depends on the individual circumstances and preferences. HOWEVER, it is vitally important that you find a doctor that you trust and that you feel comfortable going to and that you are confident will give you reasonable answers to your questions. If that's not that case, you MUST look around until you have found a compatible doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In one case we didn't do this properly and as a result our unborn daughter almost died. The doctor we went with (for convenience sake) was simply neither willing nor capable to deal with a somewhat rare situation that would have required extra effort. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately this isn't a problem in most pregnancies but the very purpose of having a doctor is to look for and properly deal with any problems. You need a doctor that you fully trust in this regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2015-11-05T13:34:29.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22772" CreationDate="2015-11-05T15:12:45.827" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the &quot;why&quot; is best explained by experience and example.  And that example should be you and your husband.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 2 years old, your daughter doesn't have the attention span to listen to all the research on why sugar is bad for you.  And even if she did, she doesn't have the foresight at that age to realize that healthy habits now lead to a healthy body, both now and years down the road.  (Many adults &quot;know&quot; those things too, yet many of us still have a hard time getting out and exercising or whatever.)  One thing she does understand, and love, is you.  And she wants to be like you.  My mom and dad always told us growing up &quot;If you want to be strong like mommy (or daddy) you need to eat healthy things (like vegetables, etc.).&quot;  Use that while you can.  It is far and away the best motivation for small children until they get to the age where they can appreciate that actions have consequences (especially ones that aren't immediate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she gets older, she &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; get her hands on junk food.  Friends, family, school, it's going to happen.  It is impossible to avoid being confronted with it, so I believe it is better to teach her control and restraint instead of outright forbidding junk food.  This is something she won't learn just because you tell her, you have to show her.  As I grew up, we always had some junk food in the house.  We also always had plenty of healthy stuff too.  And I saw my parents eating the healthy stuff when they snacked.  That's not to say they didn't eat cookies or cake too, just not as much.  And I picked up on that.  I also got told more than a few times that I had had enough sweets for one day and that if I was hungry to get an apple or a cheese stick.  Both of those contributed to me having better eating habits as I got older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, experience is a powerful teacher.  I'm going to bet I'm not the only kid who ever binged on Halloween candy (or cookies or something).  I remember it was pointed out to me that the tummy-ache and all the other not so good feelings were a result of over eating junk.  And that was a potent lesson to watch what I ate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Foster an atmosphere of trust at home where they feel comfortable telling you anything, including what they ate while they were away from home.  If you forbid all junk food all the time, they will never tell you when they do for fear of getting in trouble.  If they never feel comfortable telling you that they ate 2 gallons of ice cream with their friend at a sleep over, you both get robbed of a teaching / learning opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this hinges on being a good example of healthy eating and self-control.  No parent in the history of ever has been able to get away with the &quot;do what I say, not what I do&quot; explanation for long.  Also, expect your child to not be perfect at it.  We had to learn from our mistakes and less than perfect choices.  Try to guide her so she doesn't, but allow her understanding when she does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-11-05T15:12:45.827" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22870" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22883" CreationDate="2015-11-05T16:11:45.203" Score="12" ViewCount="1042" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the short-term and long-term consequences of public shaming as a discipline technique in terms of behavior, psychology, and/or the parent-child relationship? (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.itsybitsysteps.com/dad-forces-kid-to-hold-sign/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;One example.&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Per some feedback, I'd like to clarify:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm largely interested in relation to a tween or teen, because that's the age that I perceive as being when the level of rebellion and conflict is most likely to result in parents resorting to this instead of (or in addition to) other punishments. It seems like a different impact than (e.g.) publicly admonishing a preschooler in the grocery store for yelling and demanding candy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'm looking for answers that at least partly grounded in research or psychology, rather than single anecdotes or personal opinion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This isn't just about holding a sign at the side of the highway, that's just an example. I'll look for some more to include.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-06T16:42:14.163" LastActivityDate="2015-11-07T02:17:55.860" Title="What are the impacts of public shaming?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22849" CreationDate="2015-11-05T19:38:46.137" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you taken her to an ENT?  I wonder if she has some sort of swollen tonsils or other physical reason her breathing is obstructed.  If she experiences this it would be worse at night, and it might be causing her to panic.  My 2 yr old daughter had tonsils so swollen she was snoring and sleeping in a contorted position with head thrown back because she couldn't breathe.  Her primary care doctor said it was &quot;nothing to worry about&quot; and prescribed antibiotics, but an allergist that we took her to told us to take her immediately to an ENT.  We did so and her tonsils and adenoids were removed and she immediately stopped snoring and had no more trouble sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-11-05T19:38:46.137" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22864" CreationDate="2015-11-05T20:23:50.083" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 7 year old with similar behaviour. While we are also struggling to manage our son, we have found that there are two things that work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the short term to stop his immediate behaviour we threaten to call the police and mock-call them - i.e. call voicemail but pretend to call the police. We then mock call them back when he has calmed down. Our son then usually goes to his room or cleans up the mess he made. I don't think this would work for a 12 year old, but there may be something else you can threaten short term, such as talking to friends or sports coaches, depending to whom he values.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Longer term we found our son needs a lot of structure, which means all routine times, such as getting up/ breakfast and dinner/ bedtime need to be clearly structured. Our son works well with a checklist to tick off in the morning, with the treat of doing an activity for 30 minutes before school, if he has done all tasks. If he is slow, it shortens the 30 minutes. He of course needs coaxing along to do these tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12029" LastActivityDate="2015-11-05T20:23:50.083" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22873" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-05T23:16:42.230" Score="9" ViewCount="3301" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that the 'floor is lava' game (game is to not touch the floor, the children must get around by climbing on furniture instead) is developed by most children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is how it is so many children know this exact same game. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One argument would be that it is learned socially like many other children's games - for example 'Enny meeny miny moe' is another commonplace game - that is clearly learned, rather than developed independently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, it could be that 'the floor is lava' is a product of innate play (like play fighting, or running around) and easy imagination. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any research on how this game is developed/learned by children? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11724" LastActivityDate="2017-04-06T16:10:48.873" Title="Why is the 'floor is lava' game so ubiquitious?" Tags="|play|imaginative-play|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22874" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-06T00:17:59.833" Score="1" ViewCount="9821" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an extremely fussy baby boy. He just turned 11 months old, while he's never been an &quot;easy&quot; baby, the past month he has been awful.  He sleeps well and eats well, but when up all he does is cry and whine. He will have a day here and there when he is OK, but the majority of my days with have been very hard. Not only does he cry, he makes these whining noises that can last for hours on end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like no matter what I do he is not happy.  Don't get me wrong, he can be a very smiley happy baby at moments, but it never lasts. It is like there is no in between with him. He is either laughing and smiling or crying and whining.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have taken him to the Dr and he can't find anything wrong with him.  I am at my wits end. This is really taking a toll on me.  He has 6 teeth already and was miserable when he got his first, so I don't know if it's his teeth bothering him, but any insight would be helpful .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19635" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-06T00:40:50.823" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T20:07:17.020" Title="Extremely difficult 11 month old baby" Tags="|infant|behavior|crying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22876" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22880" CreationDate="2015-11-06T05:30:30.353" Score="5" ViewCount="1268" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whenever I look my daughter and try to speak to her, she always looks away from me but she doesn't do that with her mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is the one who usually take care of her since I have a full time work, leaving 5 o'clock in the morning and coming home at 8pm. Sometimes I am the one who takes care of my child, mostly when my wife is a bit tired and every weekend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This didn't happen when she was 2 months old. Maybe this started when we transferred to a new house near my workplace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is our new baby and I don't know if it is normal. What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19637" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-11-06T11:49:39.857" LastActivityDate="2015-11-06T18:49:50.337" Title="My 3 month old daughter looks away from me" Tags="|newborn|social-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22873" CreationDate="2015-11-06T09:48:15.560" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't talk about research - but I can say that my own eldest child appeared to develop &quot;don't step on the cracks&quot; type games naturally and spontaneously while we were out and about in town.  It would be reasonable to expect that interaction with the environment would yield games like this without need for any direction or input.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conversely the name 'Lava' does suggest that parts of the game are not entirely innate; it's beyond improbable that they would have encountered molten lava or even have the idea of what lava is without being introduced to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the same way that the cracks in the pavement harbour bears and water might be crocodile infested despite neither being native to our country there appears to be a correlation between &lt;em&gt;learned&lt;/em&gt; dangers (often those of fiction) is mixed with the innate play to ensure that all involved are aware that the danger is imaginary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt; the physical game is likely to be innate but the role play associated is highly unlikely to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-11-06T09:48:15.560" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22876" CreationDate="2015-11-06T18:49:50.337" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very normal for babies.  They don't care who takes care of them at first, but often develop a favorite caregiver within a couple months.  Just be glad she's not screaming at you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just keep on taking care of her as you have been, and maybe ask mom for a few tips about how your baby prefers certain things.  A lot of times, the scale will tip the other way in a few months, when the baby starts wanting to play more, and prefers the way dad plays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-11-06T18:49:50.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22839" CreationDate="2015-11-06T21:31:02.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't mention the ages of your children, but from my (extremely limited) understanding of Catholicism, I presume you are referring to baptism while they are still very young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is christian.  I am not (I'm not really religious at all, and have both specific and general concerns about most organized religions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was baptized as an infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My reasoning for this was twofold:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The ceremony and symbolism was meaningful to my wife.  Therefore, it has &lt;em&gt;de facto&lt;/em&gt; meaning for me.  It doesn't hurt me to have my son participate in a ceremony I don't believe in.  It might hurt my wife's feelings if we skipped it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to force my lack of religion on my son any more than I would want to force religion on him.  As an infant, he was too young for baptism to have any meaning to him &lt;strong&gt;now&lt;/strong&gt;.  However, when he gets older, if he does decide to embrace religion, the fact that he was baptized may wind up having quite a lot of significance to him.  If he doesn't, I doubt very much that it will offend him that we baptized him; it just won't have any special meaning to him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-11-06T21:31:02.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22870" CreationDate="2015-11-07T02:17:55.860" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In researching this question's answer, I found that much of the research stems around adult criminals, though it &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; relate to young adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To start, a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.saferfoundation.org/files/documents/Pew%20Center%20--%20Public%20Survey%20Prison%20Pop.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2010 Survey by a Republic polling firm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; found 3 areas of concern by the public:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Protect Society (31%)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rehabilitation (25%)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Punish Offenders (20%)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By all authorities I found (and logic itself), &amp;quot;Shame Punishment&amp;quot; &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; take into account the individual — &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarship.law.wm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1552&amp;amp;context=wmlr&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Aaron S. Book&lt;/a&gt;&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;'s &amp;quot;note&amp;quot; illustrates this, &amp;quot;Some criminals are better suited for shaming than others... [judges] should determine whether the offender can handle a sentence of shame.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One case cited by &lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarship.law.wm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1552&amp;amp;context=wmlr&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; describes the consequences of not accounting for the situation of the one punished:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The judge required that a photograph of the man appear in the county's local newspaper ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The man had not told his mother, with whom he lived, of the conviction. By chance, she saw his picture in the newspaper and left her son a note on the kitchen table telling him of her shame that he was convicted of the crime. Distraught and embarrassed after reading the note, the man committed suicide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not outside the purview of this discussion given that &lt;a href=&quot;http://jasonfoundation.com/prp/facts/youth-suicide-statistics/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;suicide is the second leading cause of death for young adults&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In recommending a balanced approach, &lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarship.law.wm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1552&amp;amp;context=wmlr&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; suggests, &amp;quot;As a condition of all shame punishment, judges should offer offenders an option of either receiving the traditional punishment of incarceration or a shame punishment.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is said&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarship.law.wm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1552&amp;amp;context=wmlr&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; that &amp;quot;Virtually no empirical data exists detailing the effectiveness of shaming in deterring crime and reducing recidivism rates; however, ample data suggests that current forms of sentencing are ineffective in punishing and/or rehabilitating criminals.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that line an Illinois court cautioned against using &amp;quot;unconventional conditions of supervision, which may have unknown consequences.&amp;quot;&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarship.law.wm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1552&amp;amp;context=wmlr&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore we are cautioned that using shame punishment from a &amp;quot;retributive standpoint because the public can see punishment at work, it is nonproductive.&amp;quot;&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarship.law.wm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1552&amp;amp;context=wmlr&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So given that there are &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; scenarios where shame punishment may be effective, the question naturally arises from this discussion, &amp;quot;Will it 1) Protect Society, 2) Rehabilitate (or, better said, stop the bad behavior), and/or 3) effectively punish?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In answering this question, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sentencingproject.org/doc/Deterrence%20Briefing%20.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Valerie Wright, Ph.D., Research Analyst at The Sentencing Project&lt;/a&gt;&lt;sup&gt;3&lt;/sup&gt; notes some important considerations:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The severity of punishment may influence behavior if potential offenders weigh the consequences of their actions and conclude that the risks of punishment are too severe.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Enhancing the severity of punishment will have little impact on people who do not believe they will be apprehended [think &amp;quot;caught&amp;quot;] for their actions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Potential offenders must be aware of sanction risks and consequences before they commit an offense.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, she notes&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Institute of Criminology at Cambridge University was commissioned by the British Home Office to conduct a review of research on major studies of deterrence. Their 1999 report concluded that “…the studies reviewed do not provide a basis for inferring that increasing the severity of sentences generally is capable of enhancing deterrent effects.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, in reviewing macrolevel studies that examine offense rates of a specific population, the researchers found than an increased likelihood (certainty) of apprehension and punishment was associated with declining crime rates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, she cautions&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sanctions have the potential to erode the deterrent effects of a policy because as [Daniel Nagin] states, “[f]or an event to be stigmatizing it must be relatively uncommon.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Counterbalancing these pro-shame-punishment researchers, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/20314-embarrassing-punishments-children-discipline.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rachael Rettner of Live Science&lt;/a&gt;&lt;sup&gt;4&lt;/sup&gt; cites Andy Grogan-Kaylor of the University of Michigan, &amp;quot;Positive things have a much more powerful effect on shaping behavior than any punishment.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/20314-embarrassing-punishments-children-discipline.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; also cites Katharine Kersey of Old Dominion University as cautioning, &amp;quot;Each time we [embarrass children with a punishment] we pay a price, and we drive them away from us, and we lose our ability to be a role model for them.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, Kersey continues, &amp;quot;Children who are punished in these ways usually still commit the behavior, but do it behind their parents' backs.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, all that data taken as a whole, shame punishment &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be effective in certain situations with certain young adults.  It also stands a chance at lethal failure if the young adult cannot handle the additional repercussions inflicted by the punishment's public nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While feeling shame for our actions &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; have positive benefits in terms of our behavior, one must use extreme caution when employing borderline techniques — our love for our children &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; preclude discipline which is unhealthy for our children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-11-07T02:17:55.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22885" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-07T14:31:43.543" Score="0" ViewCount="307" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently got into a heated argument with my sister over her not admonishing her 5-year-old son. Sometimes he does things that really need a firm warning. For example, doing things that might cause physical harm like trying to walk on the couch's arm rest. Or running around opening all the doors - fridge, wardrobe, all the rooms, etc. Or eating while running around the house.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although opening doors or eating running around isn't something wrong but it just isn't good manners.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So she tells me that he is not at an age that deserves admonishing. That's because that would hinder his mental growth. She says that warning a kid deters them from exploring and learning. I am of the opinion that manners should be taught from an early age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is the right amount of warning?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does it really hamper a child's mental growth?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And by warning I do not mean threatening. I mean something along the lines of &quot;Don't try to walk on the arm rest. You'll hurt yourself.&quot; or &quot;No TV for you if you dont sit at the table and eat&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19648" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-24T17:55:45.300" LastActivityDate="2018-11-24T17:55:45.300" Title="Can admonishing hinder a child's mental growth?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|development|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22887" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22889" CreationDate="2015-11-07T17:25:54.620" Score="7" ViewCount="3892" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is almost four months old. Few weeks ago she discovered and started having a lot of fun with her little hands: she keeps putting them in her mouth, she loves playing with the toys, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, recently we have noticed that she also sucks a lot on her fists. Especially from 3-4 hours before her bed time, she will start getting anxious and placing the fist in her mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did read some articles about the pain they may start having by this time, since teeth are starting to develop and this hurts them. However, and if this is the case, I wonder how can sucking their fist soothe them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any other possible explanation? Could it have to be with stomach ache?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-19T12:01:42.280" LastActivityDate="2019-07-19T12:01:42.280" Title="Why do babies suck their fist?" Tags="|infant|behavior|teething|mouthing|soothing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22885" CreationDate="2015-11-07T17:30:59.940" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe your sister is dangerously wrong. Learning boundaries, acceptable behaviour, impulse control and personal safety are absolutely vital elements in the cognitive development of children. If your nephew doesn't get this at home then he will get it at school (is he going to school, or is he home schooled?) or whenever he goes out into the world. The longer she waits before starting to teach her son discipline, the harder the lesson is going to be for all parties. At some point this boy is going to run smack into some wall that your sister cannot cushion for him, and he is going to be really surprised at how much it hurts. Hopefully when this happens he will be both young enough and smart enough to learn from experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The consensus in the Western world is that children need effective discipline. Advice from medical and psychological authorities emphasises the need for discipline that is based on respect for authority, the rights of others, and the consequences of ones actions, rather than merely on fear of punishment. See for example &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719514/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719514/&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/discipline-tactics&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/discipline-tactics&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ineffective discipline can have long term negative effects. For instance &lt;a href=&quot;http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/dev/41/1/30/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/dev/41/1/30/&lt;/a&gt; looks at the relationship between poor parental discipline and problems in early school. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1359178997000207&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1359178997000207&lt;/a&gt; (full article behind paywall, but you can read the abstract) also looks at longer term issues from poor discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A really thorough literature review is beyond the scope of this answer; the above are what I found through some quick googling on &quot;ineffective child discipline&quot;, but I don't think they are in any way atypical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2015-11-07T19:16:35.663" LastActivityDate="2015-11-07T19:16:35.663" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22887" CreationDate="2015-11-07T19:14:42.820" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Infants discover the world largely by their mouth. They put virtually everything in mouth, and whatever they can't fit there, they suck or lick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fists are convenient. They are always close, they are large enough to fill the entire mouth, they are warm... And it's funny that when she puts them in her mouth, she feels something else, a tickling of sorts, on a different part of body... ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, &lt;strong&gt;she's discovering the world and her body&lt;/strong&gt;. Completely normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-12-07T11:04:26.367" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T11:04:26.367" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22890" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-07T19:57:46.013" Score="18" ViewCount="9255" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last night my husband and I addressed a few things we discovered in my son's room being a concern. We are pretty strict parents and believe in corporal punishment especially since my son doesn't have anything left to take away since he's always in trouble for something. We have good days and bad days, and it seems like he takes two steps forward and three steps back. After addressing everything with him my son is very upset and says he's doing these things because he's depressed everyday, lonely, doesn't have any close friends or friends he can trust to talk to, and he does not love himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am so scared and worried for him. He's very angry at us and himself. I'm not sure what to do and how to handle this level of parenting. HELP! Any and all recommendations please...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19644" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-11-08T22:46:26.953" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T22:46:50.967" Title="How can I reach out to my 16-year-old son who has voiced he's depressed every day and doesn't love himself?" Tags="|behavior|teen|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22885" CreationDate="2015-11-07T20:11:23.490" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What is the right amount of warning?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is purely opinion, as the argument between your sister and yourself shows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I believe you picked bad examples to ask about. Children learn about the world by taking chances (what your sister calls exploring.) If he doesn't fall, the child feels more capable and competent, which is good. If he does fall, he learns about adverse consequences, which is also good. (It is unlikely that he will injure himself seriously by falling from something the height of an armrest.) In many cases, your sister is correct. If it's your sister's couch, it's your sister's child, and her call to make. If it's your couch, your wishes to not to have the child walk on the arm rests should be respected. But respect for the wishes of others is not synonymous with &lt;em&gt;obedience&lt;/em&gt;. It's based on empathy, something which even 3 year olds are beginning to be able to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children are rowdy, some are reticent, many are somewhere in between. I think a parent has to take into account the nature of the individual child in nurturing them to be capable, confident, compassionate adults. Many parents feel that forcing a rowdy child to meet someone else's definition of &quot;manners&quot;, if those &quot;manners&quot; are restrictive and unreasonable, is just teaching them to cower to authority and not think for themselves.&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discipline is a complex affair involving a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of time, thought, respect for the feelings of the child, consideration of the setting, culture, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There is a great deal of controversy about the appropriate ways to discipline children, and parents are often confused about effective ways to set limits and instill self-control in their child... To be effective, discipline needs to be:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - given by an adult with an affective bond to the child&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - consistent, close to the behaviour needing change&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - perceived as ‘fair’ by the child&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - developmentally and temperamentally appropriate&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  - self-enhancing, ie, ultimately leading to &lt;strong&gt;self-discipline&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The goal of discipline is not to keep children safe&lt;sup&gt;**&lt;/sup&gt; or unobtrusive. It is to raise healthy (physically and mentally) adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Adam_Walsh&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Adam Walsh&lt;/a&gt; was a tragic example of this. His father, wanting his child to be 'polite', taught him to obey adults. As a direct result (even his father admits this), the child was abducted, abused, and murdered.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719514/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Effective discipline for children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;**&lt;/sup&gt;My children were allowed to jump on their beds, climb on the shed roof and jump off of it, climb trees, even to jump off the house's porch roof into deep snow drifts. Yet I treated children's injuries as part of my living. Did they ever get stitches or break a bone? Yes, they all got stitches, and one child broke his thumb rolling down a hill. They are not perfect, but they are law-abiding, responsible, compassionate adults supporting themselves with meaningful work.&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-07T20:22:23.413" LastActivityDate="2015-11-07T20:22:23.413" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22892" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-07T20:44:45.363" Score="10" ViewCount="728" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 year old loves comics and graphic novels. LOVES them. I have absolutely nothing against comics - I think they're great and have seen some great works in that medium. But it's all he'll read. He doesn't seem to have the patience, focus and/or willingness to read chapter books at his grade level. The only happy medium seems to be Diary of a Wimpy Kid and others in that style, but as a general rule if it doesn't have pictures on every page, he won't read it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to stop him from reading what he enjoys, but I'd also like for him to experience a wider variety of books, and also prepare for some more adult reading which will inevitably come as he gets older and advances in school. I read aloud to him and he enjoys that, it's just the solo reading that he has trouble with. Any advice or good transitional material?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19652" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T00:45:50.007" Title="How to get 10-year-old to diversify his reading?" Tags="|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|reading|books|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22890" CreationDate="2015-11-07T22:05:10.917" Score="49" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you &amp;quot;walked a mile in his shoes?&amp;quot;  Unless you can see the world through his eyes, how can you begin to help him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, based on the incomplete details you've provided, let's check out what we &lt;em&gt;can see&lt;/em&gt; through his eyes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents have taken everything away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can get hit by my parents at any time and unless I'm perfect, I get punished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents are constantly berating me, telling me how bad I am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't bring any friends over because I have nothing, so it's easier to just not have friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My life is hopeless, so why care about life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your goal should be instilling self-confidence; establishing a welcoming, educating environment; and ensuring that he &lt;em&gt;feels&lt;/em&gt; that he is loved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has been said that &amp;quot;violence is the last refuge of the incompetent&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;force and mind are opposites&amp;quot;. He is 16 -- corporal punishment will serve no useful purpose.  On the other hand, it will teach him that being a victim is something it is expected he will tolerate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have taken away everything because of his behavior and that hasn't worked, why continue with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If discipline does not result in altered behavior, the discipline is ineffective and other routes must be tried in order to obtain the desired behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Benjamin Franklin said, &amp;quot;Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everybody.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried emphasizing &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; positive thing he does?  Rewarding him for the positive?  When he does something wrong, have you then asked, &amp;quot;You're doing so many awesome things, so why did you do this?&amp;quot; (Be prepared for this method: sometimes children are more reasonable than we estimate.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him about friends and the reason he claims to have none.  Ask him what it would take for him to feel comfortable bringing them home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you engage him in dialog (as opposed to &amp;quot;telling&amp;quot; him what to do -- this sometimes means nothing more than listening without judging); if you reward him and let him encourage himself; if you let ineffective techniques fall to the way side; if you work with him instead of against him, how do you think this will change his universe?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now, he feels like a &amp;quot;thing&amp;quot; according to your description.  Make him feel like a &amp;quot;person&amp;quot; and he will gain self-esteem which then leads to loving one's self.  And a well-balanced, critically-thinking adult is the goal of parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE: I am not a Doctor.  For depression, please see a properly-trained doctor as depression can be a serious affliction which must be treated.  The guidance above is about parenting, not treating depression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-11-07T22:05:10.917" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22890" CreationDate="2015-11-08T01:46:29.017" Score="102" Body="&lt;p&gt;Five years ago I was practically in your son's shoes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not a parent, nor do I intend to be, largely because of this style of parenting. That said, I feel I might be able to give you a view from his perspective. Understand that I am trying very, very hard to keep restraint here while you read my answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let us address your first point;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We are pretty strict parents and believe in corporal punishment especially since my son doesn't have anything left to take away since he's always in trouble for something&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy and honestly does not justify your use of corporal punishment whatsoever. He is not being punished corporally because he has nothing left to be taken away because he is always in trouble; &lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt; are punishing him corporally because &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; are taking everything away from him and leaving him with nothing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that you call yourselves &quot;pretty strict&quot;, it could stand to reason that you are punishing him over every perceived slight and leaping straight to depriving him of some privilege or corporally punishing him. Have you considered just flat-out being less strict and/or less punishing? Not all punishments need to be created equal, and explaining to someone why they did something wrong is going to be a much better treatment than just flat out hitting them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hitting someone presents two issues. First of all, he will learn - as another poster mentioned - that violence is normal to conflict resolution. There are a lot of conflicts in life, and unfortunately adult-on-adult violence is known as assault and is illegal. You are not setting a good standard here. He will grow up to learn that hitting people is okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, hitting him dehumanises him. It treats him like an object - you didn't do what I want, so I'll hit you until you conform. With the exception of &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toy_Story&quot;&gt;Toy Story&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, objects aren't capable of loving their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are ways to educate people without resorting to violence or deprivation. I don't see many kids earning degrees at universities by having their tutors hit them until it sinks in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;After addressing everything with him my son is very upset and says he's doing these things because he's depressed everyday, lonely, doesn't have any close friends or friends he can trust to talk to, and he does not love himself&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going out on a limb here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You being strict and punishing him as much as you apparently seem to be doing - and in the manner you are doing - is going to teach him that he can do no right. It is going to make him lose self-esteem and lose self-confidence. His entire life at home is dominated by him being &quot;in trouble&quot; to the point where he is not going to want to do anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Low self-esteem and low confidence are one of the two biggest factors in anxiety disorders. Anxious people, generally speaking, are too afraid to talk to their peers because they feel like a burden. This is, no doubt, how your son feels now. It will be hard for him to make friends due to this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, you going through his room and finding things removes an element of his privacy. Privacy is very important to feeling secure in your environment. If he can't trust his parents to respect even the privacy of his room, why the hell would he trust random people at school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He's very angry at us&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good. If he wasn't, I would be worried he was a masochist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't mean to speak ill of your parenting style, but you should consider laxing up and instead of corporally punishing your son, show the compassionate side of your personalities. IMHO, your corporal punishment and strictness are the issues here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sort of parenting style has caused lasting effects on my life. I am not going to get on a soapbox here, but I would just like to say that I am currently coming up to 21, and I moved out at 18 and have been a victim of abusive parenting styles since I was born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had long-lasting depression and anxiety issues and have absolutely zero friends or romantic interests. I have had go to through therapy and on medication for these issues, and I still have a long way to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please do not let your son turn out to be an anti-social shut-in who is afraid of all social contact, or let him turn into a domestic abuser because he learns that violence is okay, readdress your parenting approach and above all &lt;strong&gt;get him to a psychiatrist&lt;/strong&gt; to undo the negative conditioning you have done to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19653" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2015-11-08T22:46:50.967" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T22:46:50.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22758" CreationDate="2015-11-08T06:27:38.303" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was an over producer at first and when I returned to work I cut out a pump at a time.  (Exclusively pumping for other issues).  I had over a 1000 ounces in the freezer and am now pumping 3 times a day and getting about 20 ounces (was at 60 ounces per day at my peak) at 7 months postpartum.  I am mixing the fresh with the frozen now, about 2 bags per day.  I'm not sure what your goal or situation is but getting a lot stored isn't helpful if you aren't planning to use or donate it.  Don't waste your time you could be spending with your baby.  However, if you are exclusively pumping it's nice to be able to cut down and get your life back a little bit of you have a huge store.  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19657" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T06:27:38.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22898" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22899" CreationDate="2015-11-08T11:11:24.837" Score="1" ViewCount="5871" Body="&lt;p&gt;My friend is in a dilemma, his has caught his 8 year boy googling the the words &quot;beauty sex&quot; , the child has grown in a very good environment and his parents are conservative, he even misspelt the word &quot;beauty&quot; as &quot;beaty&quot; because of his young age. &#xA;He has two brothers and they have a very good behaviour&#xA;He has some sort of ADHD which will make my friends job even more difficult to talk to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T00:50:17.623" Title="How to deal with an 8 year boy googling the word &quot;sex&quot;?" Tags="|sex-education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22898" CreationDate="2015-11-08T11:21:52.087" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is nothing worrying about an 8 year old being interested in what sex is. And in the kind of world an 8 year old lines in, searching for an explanation on the internet is something that probably just came to his mind when he wanted to know more. Unless there's other indications (like sexually aggressive behavior) there is nothing wrong with an 8 year old being interested in the topic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Most children aged six to eight will: Look to peers, media, and other sources for information about sex&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/154-parents&quot;&gt;Source&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For comparison: at 8, I had already had basic sex education at school (in Germany). I knew anatomical terms, knew roughly what a period was (I am female, but all of this was taught to all students), knew sex was what causes pregnancy, the basics of pregnancy, and had seen schematic drawings of sex, including an erect penis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing your friend can do is talk to his son about sex in an age-appropriate way, answer his questions as best as she can (or find someone else to talk to him - maybe the other parent, if one is in his life), but also tell him that the internet is not the best place to look for information for sex. It is way too easy to accidentally be exposed to something she wouldn't want him exposed to like that. &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health/in-depth/sex-education/art-20046025&quot;&gt;This is a nice article&lt;/a&gt; about sex education for school aged children, but there's a lot more websites and books out there. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/HealthAZ/FamilyandPeerRelations/Sexuality/Pages/Sex-Education-Age-Appropriate-For-Children-what-they-should-learn-and-when.aspx&quot;&gt;This is a short article&lt;/a&gt; about what knowledge is often taught to children at what age  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-11-08T11:30:37.043" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T11:30:37.043" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22892" CreationDate="2015-11-08T15:34:53.527" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everything in stages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say he loves comics and graphic novels. By their nature, this type of literature is mostly if not entirely graphic. So, your next stage should be graduating him onto slightly less graphical literature. Get him reading books with short chapters where each page is illustrated with an image.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From there, you can move onto books in the middle: slightly longer chapters (chapters are important because they provide logical break points) and slightly fewer pictures. Eventually, following this policy, you'll have him on much longer and wordier books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing you can do to help is to read &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; him. By that, I mean you don't read all &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; him, and he doesn't read all &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; you - have a book, ask him to read you a page. Something he doesn't understand? Explain it to him - when you're still on partially graphic literature, you can explain it with reference to the image.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12132" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T15:34:53.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22890" CreationDate="2015-11-08T16:48:41.863" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is something you and your husband cannot solve... &lt;strong&gt;it must be solved by all three of you: you, your husband, and your son as a family.&lt;/strong&gt;  I cannot pretend to be in a position to tell you exactly what to do, only to point out things I consider to be &quot;facts&quot; in the situation, and let you decide if you agree with my claim.  However, &quot;self love&quot; is not something that you can cause somebody to do, you can only encourage it.  Encourage it until they eventually decide to take the first step, and then encourage them for doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(So, in that light, I suppose my first sentence is wrong.  There is another way to solve it.  Your son can solve it on his own.  Studies of people in terribly dire straights show that it is possible to develop self love in any scenario.  That being said, its quite clear that, as parents, you don't want to leave him on his own to discover this, so we'll focus on the family as a whole, and how the family can work with this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do think it's important for you to understand what your punishment must be doing to your son.  I will not question corporal punishment; others have done so, and frankly I believe the nuances of how punishment is delivered are more complicated than people believe.  However, if I may be so bold as to use your own word from that sentence, I think I can paint a picture from your son's perspective that you might be relate to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We are pretty strict parents and believe in corporal punishment&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;especially since my son doesn't have anything left to take away&lt;/strong&gt; since&#xA;  he's always in trouble for something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emphasis mine.  If we ignore everything else except the fact that you find a need for punishment and this bolded section of the sentence, we can see a fundamental structure of a relationship.  It shows that you have taken away all the easy things from him, and he's misbehaving still.  Thus, you are actively seeking out other things to take away from him, and relying on him to go find those things so that you can take them away.  &lt;strong&gt;One thing I have found true about punishment: you can always guarantee that you take something away from them, but you can't always choose what it is.&lt;/strong&gt;  Thus, it should not be a surprising if, after rolling the dice this way for a long childhood, one day your son offered his self love to be taken away and you took it.  Neither party may have even known that's what's being offered.  Punishment can be a tricky business from both sides.  I know that, in the face of punishment, I have held up things I value most to take the blow for me before I even know I did so.  (There's something to be said for the lyrics of Big Yellow Taxi, &lt;em&gt;&quot;You don't know what you've got till it's gone.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe it is clear from your words that you feel it is necessary to be able to punish your son, so the good-fairy attitude of &quot;just love your son, everything will be all right!&quot; will not sit well with you.  The devil's in the details anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There honestly isn't a clear path to solve this problem.  If there was, society would have abused it to let us hurt each other more, knowing we can always follow an easy path back to self love.  You will have to seek out your own path, and that path will be rocky.  However, there are some milestones along the way which I have found universal enough that they bear mentioning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important step is to be aware of your son.  Listen to his words, listen to his body language, listen to everything.  If your son is in dire enough straights that the phrase &quot;doesn't love himself&quot; is warranted, the spark of life you will want to fan is going to be faint and hard to spot.  He &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; hide it from you as best as he possibly can; he won't make the same mistake twice -- he wont give you an opportunity to punish him through it.  You will have to look &lt;em&gt;hard&lt;/em&gt; to find it.  &lt;strong&gt;When you do, you will have to make a very hard call as parents who have relied heavily on punishment.  You will have to decide &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to lay your hands on it, literally or metaphorically.&lt;/strong&gt;  You will have to learn how to support it from afar until he learns to trust you enough to bring it out into the open.  You will have to let him have it, no matter how angry you are at him.  Self love is hard to develop once you lose it, and you need to be able to listen to your own inner light once it starts glimmering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The subtle techniques needed to support such a glimmer from afar are hard to learn.  They are different for every parent child pairing, so you will have to do some soul searching to learn a bit about it yourself.  However, there are some general patterns that you can manage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is to only take that which you give.  Instead of relying on striking his physical body (which technically, yes, you gave, but I think you understand why I ignore this technicality), you need to give him things which can explicitly be taken away -- privileges.  If he has nothing, you cannot punish him, as you have found out.  However, given the scenario I see described in the question, I recommend giving them in a particular structure: only give him things in a way which, if you take them away, hurts you as much as it hurts him.  Think of it as a voluntary limitation on your own power in the name of making the family stronger.  &quot;We will respect the sanctity of your room, but you are obliged to call us whenever you go somewhere&quot;.  This limit does two things.  One is it restrains you (which, believe it or not, can be a good thing).  Second, it gives him something to see and feel in you.  Let him realize (on his own) just how much each of these new punishments hurt you.  Don't fake it.  He needs to see the real you, even in pain, to appreciate that what he is enduring is not arbitrary from your perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One approach I would consider (disclaimer: I've never tried it, but it has the aire of truth to me) is to set up an agreement.  Set up a set of obligations on both parties as part of the agreement.  Try to make them balanced.  Then, as a key step, as part of the agreement, declare that &lt;em&gt;either&lt;/em&gt; party may revoke the agreement at any point in time, for any reason.  This agreement is ephemeral.  It only functions so long as both parties want it to function.  This gives him control over you, which may be something he needs, but also puts a check in place to prevent him from abusing it.  Explicitly do not state what could cause the revocation as part of the agreement.  This isn't an agreement between him and a piece of paper with some rules, it's an agreement between you and him.  Both parties deciding that working together is more beneficial than working apart.  You may go through 20 or 30 agreements, each rapidly fizzling out.  This is okay.  You don't even have to make each agreement identical (indeed, you will find that they're never identical, even if the words are identical, because the parties will have adjusted their opinions on the revocation clause).  Make multiple of these if needed.  But show that working together as a family is better than working apart.  (And as a note, if you do it right, your son &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; use this as ammunition against you, severing agreements if you rely on corporal punishment.  Believe it or not, this is not a bad thing.  It's a key step in standing up for himself, which can lead to self love if you do it right).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To close, I have to go back to the good-fairy argument because, frankly, there's no way to solve this problem without &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; input from her.  Your son is depressed and lost his self love.  He needs the softer side of the family, and you are the ones who can give it to him.  If some of that depression turns to rage, and he lashes out, try your darnest to take what he gives, turn it around, and make something good out of it.  There's a whole self-help section of the library dedicated to this skill, so I wont pretend its easy to do.   I wont even pretend I know how to do it, per se.  However, if you can take something he unleashed out of rage or sadness, and turn it into a glimmer of hope and beauty in a way that he never thought he could see, that just might be the thing he needs to find self love.  You can show him that even a nugget of ugly emotion can be polished into a diamond.  You can even encourage him to learn how to polish them.  And, if all is right with the world, he can make the choice whether he polishes them or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T16:48:41.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22890" CreationDate="2015-11-08T17:08:08.077" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to add another important point to those already mentioned in other answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don't go it alone.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I said this in a comment and I'll say it again: unless you've been specifically trained or, through years of experience, have some knowledge of how to help people going through depression yourself, &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; try it on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although everyone's experience with depression is different, what's important when trying to help is knowing what might make something better, and what might make it ten times worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get your son to a counsellor or psychiatrist.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take that counsellor/psychiatrist's advice. They likely won't tell you what your son told them because the meeting is in confidence, but you should be able to ask them for advice on what to do. Follow it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I would &lt;em&gt;strongly&lt;/em&gt; suggest you quit - at least for now - your policy of corporal punishment. I can't see any situation in which that would help someone going through depression. He needs your support and love right now, and though you may still love him, it's nigh-on impossible to see that when you're being beaten.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I could, I'll refrain from giving specific advice about treating depression - it's both out of scope here and unwise to rely on the advice of strangers on the Net.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;As parents&lt;/em&gt;, you've done some damage. &lt;em&gt;As parents&lt;/em&gt;, you need to undo it and &lt;em&gt;demonstrate&lt;/em&gt; to - not tell - your son that he can trust you again. That means &lt;strong&gt;stop trying to take away from him&lt;/strong&gt;, and instead &lt;strong&gt;give&lt;/strong&gt; him what he says he needs to help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12132" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T17:08:08.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22903" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22892" CreationDate="2015-11-08T17:58:30.337" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm just going to throw this out there. You say that he enjoys your reading to him. It reminds me of how I got my kids to &lt;em&gt;start&lt;/em&gt; reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I read to our kids daily and at also at bedtime, so stories were important to them. But they would only read short storybooks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For each, I would find books I thought they would like. I would read the first few chapters, and quit when an exciting part came up, saying I'd get back to it (and I would have.) But kids being kids, they didn't want to wait, and read the rest of the book themselves. Soon, they were picking and reading books themselves, and became  - for many years - voracious readers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We continued to read to our kids every day, though, the more difficult stuff. If they really liked it, we tried to find similar stuff at an easier reading level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest and my third child now read graphic novels. Ha.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T17:58:30.337" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22892" CreationDate="2015-11-08T19:27:00.430" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Plenty of parents would love to have your problem. It's not going to work if you try to dictate to a kid what his taste in books should be. Just be thankful that he likes to read. Most likely his reading interests will diversify and grow in difficulty as time goes on, but that can happen on his schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you also say that you appreciate comics, you could look for more intellectually sophisticated comics that you would enjoy yourself. Buy them or check them out from the public library, read them, and leave them around the house where your son could pick one up in an idle moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possible &quot;gateway drug&quot; into novels would be things like movie novelizations (Star Wars, superheroes, etc.). Those things tend to be less horrible than you'd expect; a lot of the people who write them are quite talented writers who are looking for something lucrative enough that they can quit their day jobs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should, however, add one exception to my advice to be permissive. DC sucks. So if he's reading Batman or some trash like that, definitely put your foot down and insist that he switch to something decent like the Fantastic Four. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9075" LastEditorDisplayName="user9075" LastEditDate="2015-11-08T19:33:13.930" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T19:33:13.930" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22906" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-08T22:46:51.970" Score="1" ViewCount="216" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a new teen, and my parents have been fighting for like a month like five times a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of them leaves at night for like six hours, my mom says she doesn't think it's working out. They have been married six years, and they sometimes fight like this, but never this bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like pointing fingers but it's mostly my mom's fault.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I talk to her and stop this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19671" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2015-11-09T15:28:40.377" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T15:28:40.377" Title="How do I stop my parents' divorce?" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-11-09T19:44:31.607" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-11-08T22:49:40.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't. I'm sorry. It sucks, it really does. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly this situation is not your fault. But unfortunately you can't stop it because it's something the two people involved have to solve for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can ask them to go to family counseling where you could voice your feelings and if they refuse you could seek your school guidance counselor (or religious leader if that is more comfortable for you) to have someone to talk to yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-11-08T22:49:40.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22898" CreationDate="2015-11-09T00:50:17.623" Score="-10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say that yes, you do have a very good concern. His googling &quot;sex&quot; will only escalate to other things- pornography (which will be seen if googling sex). Pornography is actually clinically addictive, and as  a male myself you have no idea how viewing- even a single time- really affects your whole thinking process. If I were you, I would get a great parental program. What I have on my computer (and it free, no I'm not soliciting) is k9 blue coat. it's free, and works great. I strongly recommend this for your older sons too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19675" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T00:50:17.623" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22892" CreationDate="2015-11-09T09:12:49.897" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At an early age children discover their strong and weak points. Being proud about what they can, they will prefer to continue to explore their talents. &lt;strong&gt;Children that are good at maths or musical talents are more tempted to focus just on that, and will usually be less interested at reading (and vice versa).&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can &lt;strong&gt;compensate this by expressing how amazed you are with their reading&lt;/strong&gt; achievements. Some parents actually pay their children to read, but that's really not a good idea. It will make it seem like they are executing a dirty job.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is a good thing to let your children decide which books to read (be it within their age category). You could go to the bookstore or library together. Ask them what genre they want to read.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing is for sure. If they don't read regulary, their reading skills will deminish. And they will even dislike it more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, not being able to read is a terrible thing. But not being able to enjoy reading is not. You can have a great education (e.g. several master degrees) without ever reading fictional books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19679" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T09:12:49.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22911" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-09T12:00:35.363" Score="9" ViewCount="335" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a ten-year old child and it's about that time in their lives when she is constantly getting invited to stay over at other friends' houses either for the weekend or a night. To be honest, as a single dad, this can be a huge relief and allows me to get some work done over the weekend, so I am generally OK with her staying over at her friends'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there's a problem: she is a very picky eater. She doesn't eat vegetables and a lot of other stuff people generally eat (no sauces, no soups, nothing with a particular strong smell). This results in a lot of anxiety for her and for me. She is ashamed to admit she &quot;doesn't like stuff&quot; for the fear of seeming spoilt (which she is to an extent, I raised her on my own and cater to her every desire). I don't like her to feel this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what should I do?&#xA;Should I talk to her friends' parents and tell them to brace themselves to host a particularly picky eater?&#xA;Should I force diversity into her weekly diet so she gets used to variety?&#xA;Should I talk to her friends?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19685" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-09T12:05:04.107" LastActivityDate="2015-11-10T04:07:59.860" Title="How do I get my child to eat healthier, better and more varied?" Tags="|eating|friends|diet|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22892" CreationDate="2015-11-09T12:12:24.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was 10, most of what I read were comics and graphic novels. I never really developed a &quot;thing&quot; for longer books / novels until I went to college. I read what I was required to read in High School, and that was it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want him to read more or better, try getting him to read good comics and graphic novels. It would help if you guys develop a kind of following to a particular hero or story or universe. &lt;strong&gt;That way, he will come to value comic/graphic novel reading as something relevant and valuable for his development, instead of becoming ashamed of it and feeling he is &quot;too dumb for books.&quot; This is the real danger.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you just can't wait to see him transition, then &lt;strong&gt;try to get him excited about the idea of &lt;em&gt;storytelling&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Short stories could work, but for all I know and judging from my own experience, getting him to read the newspaper can work just as well. This will open a whole new universe of possibility and I'm pretty sure he'll make the transition himself when he feels comfortable. Also, looking for stories with a similar structure or appeal (more epic or fantastic or even action stuff) can help him to smoothen the transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19685" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T12:12:24.273" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22911" CreationDate="2015-11-09T12:39:24.780" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talking with the other parents would be the fastest short-term solution. Really, it's quite helpful for them to know in advance what their guest can (or will) eat. In the case of a food allergy, it's obviously vitally important, but even knowing food preferences is enormously helpful. I don't recommend talking directly to her friends. If it is not a topic that she would want to discuss with them (especially one which you admit she feels ashamed about), having her father bring it up isn't likely to be &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; comfortable. Plus, her peers probably aren't the ones with the most control over what goes on their dinner plates, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; they can very easily forget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When RSVPing to a birthday party, another mother mentioned to me that her daughter didn't like baked sweets (&quot;she won't eat cake&quot;). I was able to make sure there were some grapes and apple slices so Janie could still have something to enjoy. If I hadn't know that in advance, I would have felt like a poor hostess. It's also worth noting that my daughter &lt;em&gt;knows&lt;/em&gt; about Janie's preferences, but hadn't thought to bring it up when we invited her. It's a very normal part of being friends with Janie, and therefore just &lt;em&gt;obvious&lt;/em&gt;. Don't rely on the friends :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reasonable warnings such as &quot;she won't eat soup&quot; are helpful for the hosting parents, who then know not to put soup on the menu. Even a broad opening (&quot;I wanted to mention that Janie can be picky about what she eats&quot;) can lead to a good conversation about what they were planning to serve, and potential modifications to the menu. With a now-vegetarian daughter, I've gotten very used to bringing up food preferences with other parents (&quot;what can she have instead of a hot dog?&quot;) and even bringing along her own food occasionally (e.g. a veggie hot dog). I get asked about menus without needing to bring it up, and since she's getting older the other parents also talk directly with her. She's got a friend with a peanut allergy, and I am always grateful to be reminded that is an issue so I can be vigilent about what ingredients I use. It's a standard part of conversations I have with her friends' parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A possible but unlikely extreme is that being too particular (&quot;Janie will only eat pizza if it's bought from a particular store&quot;, rather than &quot;she likes pizza&quot;) could potentially cut down on the invitations she gets — I think that's unlikely, but if I need to radically change my food purchases to cater to a guest, I can't afford to have that guest over as frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that simultaneously helping her expand her horizons a bit would be helpful in the long run. If self-imposed food choices are causing her to feel unhappy and anxious, that's a very strong argument for helping her be more open to new foods. I think that this question in particular (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/12262/4054&quot;&gt;Established methods to help fussy/picky eaters at late primary age&lt;/a&gt;) has some helpful answers. Forcing diversity might potentially backfire (a tween is trying to establish independence and control), but if you have a good conversation about what you're trying to accomplish while introducing variety gradually, it can be a positive experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T12:39:24.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22914" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-09T14:08:21.073" Score="7" ViewCount="1681" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a single mother working 2 jobs to provide for my 3yo daughter. I'm looking online for boyfriends and I met a man I would like to date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This man has offered me money to take pictures of my daughter. He said it would just take one hour, he would set up in my basement and just take some pictures. And if I ever felt uncomfortable I could ask him to leave. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I get the impression he's more interested in her than in me. But I think it is perhaps a good thing because I need someone that loves my daughter too.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could really use the money, but I'm not sure if everything is okay about this. It gives me an uneasy feeling. This is such an unusual request. Could there be some other motivation, something I don't see or is he just a nice guy who wants to help my daughter and me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's getting impatient for my answer and I'm afraid he won't want to date me any more if I refuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19689" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-11-10T16:49:15.303" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T22:12:13.723" Title="A man I met online wants to take pictures of my daughter" Tags="|dating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22911" CreationDate="2015-11-09T14:33:01.470" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;By the time that age 10 comes around, food tastes are pretty much ingrained. Our tastes do change as we get older, but it is more of a want to change them than to wave some magic wand and to have it change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was lucky in that my children just wanted to eat what we ate when they were growing up and at their ages now they eat any green vegetable, will try anything at LEAST once so long as they have seen someone else eating it, and their tastes are so wide that they will eat things like sashimi (raw fish on a platter) or natto (look that one up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case, however, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drink it (not calling her a horse, btw). To say anything is an acquired taste is very accurate. Nothing is naturally tasty to everyone. Taste is a sense and senses require a judgement call to act on them. If your daughter doesn't want to change her tastes then she won't. If she does then she will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a bourbon drinker. I drink it neat and I spend big bucks on good bourbons to sip on when I get home from work ($60+ a bottle). If you had told 16yo me that I would be drinking bourbon neat he would have told you that you were full of s**t. Tastes changed and about two years ago I started to honestly try to figure out why people would just drink it neat and over time I have come to greatly enjoy bourbon. My judgements on how it tastes changed and because of that it &quot;tastes different&quot; to me than it did even three years ago. It was a concerted choice on my part to learn about it and to grow accustomed to it and by doing so I have opened up my palette to an entirely new area of tastes. I had to want to do it, though, and now (whops) it's expensive, lol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oysters, sushi (though that wasn't really that hard), anything that would be on the fringe of food for most people I truly enjoy BUT some of them were acquired tastes. It doesn't just happen. You have to want to like it as strange as it sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't want to drink that water (to quote the horse parable) then she won't like it. She has to get over it; to push past it. Eventually her tastes will change and she will like it and this will open up an entire part of her palette that she didn't know existed. If she judges it before it even has time to take hold there then she will never get past it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To boil it down: how bad does she want it and is she willing to push for it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19688" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T14:33:01.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18470" CreationDate="2015-11-09T14:36:04.700" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Divorce is something hard, as a teen you get affected a lot from that, the attention and the care you seek is not available all the time. Because you parents are already busy with there problems. Your grades at school might get effected also because you also be distracted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stopping the divorce ? well sometime it is good your parents to get divorced, because they are not able to understand each other and they are not having a good relationship together , so separation will let them feel conforteble , I am saying that because of an experience , my parents are divorced , trust me I am really glad because they are divorced, I am really having good time with them , I can see them whenever I want and they are happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19249" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T14:36:04.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22911" CreationDate="2015-11-09T16:46:22.467" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I take the view that if she wants to reap the benefits of picky eating, she's old enough to also start bearing the costs.  That means she should be the one to inform her friends' parents about what she isn't willing to eat, and weigh that discomfort against the discomfort of eating something she doesn't like, broadening her pallette, going hungry, or turning down an invitation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's what adults do, as most adults have at least a few foods they don't like.  It's a lesson she will have to learn eventually.  Better to learn early, while she still has your support and guidance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T16:46:22.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22892" CreationDate="2015-11-09T17:23:24.630" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just be patient.  He's right where he needs to be right now.  You don't need to read novels to prepare to read novels.  When he's ready for them, he will read them.  He's getting plenty of &quot;serious&quot; reading material at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you might try a technique unschoolers call &quot;strewing.&quot;  With books, it works something like this.  You buy a book you think he might like, but that's outside his usual fare, maybe something like &lt;em&gt;The Hobbit&lt;/em&gt;.  You read it to yourself where he can see you, make a few comments about how much you're enjoying it, and how it reminds you of when you read it when you were about his age, then when you're done, you just leave it out where he can pick it up if he wants to.  It's sort of the playing-hard-to-get of pedagogy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T17:23:24.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22919" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20549" CreationDate="2015-11-09T19:29:24.313" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; Is this indicative of any kind of dissociative issues? Or is it just 'cute'?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Answer:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It may be that it is something other than cute or &quot;broken&quot;.  It may be a limit of the communication ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old daughter sometimes speaks, not as things are, but as she wishes they were.  She could say &quot;I'm big&quot; or &quot;I'm grown up&quot;.  She doesn't have the language specialization to communicate well so this gets a little muddled. I find out by asking questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Examples from my daughter:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She says: &quot;that is my cupcake&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I say: &quot;it belongs to the store.  Would you like to have it&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She says: &quot;yes.  Please.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I say &quot;okay&quot;    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She says: &quot;I'm all grown up.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I say: &quot;Are you all grown up&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She says (sadly) &quot;No.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I say: &quot;You are growing up so fast.  You are so big.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She smiles big, and brightens.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She knows what is, the problem isn't that.  the problem is that language is a blunt instrument when you are a 2 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;As an aside, I don't believe in broken at that age.  In my head there is a substantial difference between &quot;damaged&quot; and &quot;broken&quot; because damaged can be repaired, resolved, and made so things work as well as if nothing had happened while broken means there will always be scars, echoes, and indication, sometimes gross indications, of whatever the system was.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19201" LastEditorUserId="19201" LastEditDate="2015-11-12T14:24:28.547" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T14:24:28.547" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22911" CreationDate="2015-11-09T21:27:18.407" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughters had a friend who called herself a &quot;flexitarian&quot;. Basically she was just a picky eater but had concocted a whole backstory behind her dietary choices. It was really quite entertaining actually. Your child shouldn't be ashamed. Let her have fun with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kid's tastes evolve as they grow, so keep introducing new things. Part of the picky eating of many children has good evolutionary reasoning behind it - avoiding poisoning oneself. Many vegetables, for example, have alkaloids which give them a bitter taste, but are also indicative of poison in many plants. Kids are small, so their instincts are pretty solid about not consuming large amounts of these plants. Adults are bigger and less likely to be poisoned because of body size as well as experience. I never liked artichokes until I was in my 20's, but now I love them!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19697" LastActivityDate="2015-11-09T21:27:18.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22911" CreationDate="2015-11-10T04:07:59.860" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like she might be a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nbcnews.com/health/body-odd/being-supertaster-no-piece-cake-f1C9926898&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Supertaster&lt;/a&gt;.  Not uncommon, especially among women.  Bitter tastes are stronger, so green veggies are out.  Sauces that are the right strength for a normal person are far too strong. A lot of food is probably too salty or sweet, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Supertaster or not, it sounds like this is something she should be able to take responsibility for.  She's old enough to tell her friends about her needs proactively. She can ask what's for dinner before accepting the invitation, and if it's something she knows she can't eat, decline the invitation - and, perhaps, tell her friends about her food issues so they know to only invite her on days that they're having something she can tolerate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean you can't help her out, though.  In particular, I would see if you could help her learn techniques to cope with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, many people can't drink coffee without milk - too bitter, right?  Milk is a coping mechanism.  So is sour cream in spicy food - it dulls the spiciness substantially (as it is a fat).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help her learn what things she can do to help cope.  There may be commonly available toppings, condiments, or other things she can add to foods that she has trouble with that make them more palatable.  Bread is a great starter - most people keep bread around, and bread is super bland.  Crackers, potatoes, rice, etc.; most plain starches are excellent at making strongly flavored food less strongly flavored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach her how to make simple cream sauces - or even milk sauces (cream sauce substituting milk, since cream is often unavailable).  Largely unflavored, except perhaps with cheese added, they are effective at making veggies less bitter.  When over at her friend's house, she can ask if she can make it herself - it's not hard to do, and no expensive or uncommon ingredients.  She may also find other simple things she can make or even bring to help her tolerate the food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider eating before she goes over - does she have a food budget?  Can she go eat at Subway or wherever on the way?  Or  come home, fix a sandwich, and then go over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, finally, have a conversation with her about how to handle things if she's in a situation where she's just not going to like the food.  Eat a bite every minute.  Engage others in conversation.  Help her come up with ways to enjoy her night regardless of food options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-11-10T04:07:59.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22922" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-10T10:22:43.580" Score="1" ViewCount="271" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 18-month-old kid is always with me and my wife. She never goes along with the neighbors or our relatives. My sister's kid is one month younger than my kid, and she plays with everybody while my kid stays closer to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it OK or is it something that I have to think of?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19706" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-16T13:14:07.120" LastActivityDate="2018-09-16T13:14:07.120" Title="Should I worry about my 18-month-old always staying with us, her parents, only?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|socialization|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22924" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-10T17:04:26.563" Score="3" ViewCount="1382" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the father of an 11-year-old boy. I've had custody since he was ~1 1/2. His mom does not have her life together and probably never will. I was a single father at the time but have since remarried. His mother has been paying support (albeit about 30% of the court recommended amount) since then, but has been unemployed for over a year now, and her unemployment has now ran out. She's asking me to cancel the support order and forgive arrears for the past 2 months so she doesn't go to jail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My initial reaction is that it's her problem, not mine. She is a constant source of stress in our lives, and the life of my wife of the past 4 years: frequently being selfish and causing all sorts of problems. I would not consider her a good influence in his life at all, but she &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; his mother. I can live without the money; it wasn't that much anyhow, but every bit counts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like this would be awful for my son though, and I can only imagine that she'll make it clear to him that she got in trouble not because of any fault of her own, but because I refused to cancel the court order. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are my options here? Should I insist she give up legal rights if I cancel it, so I can at least have a silver lining of not being legally required to deal with her more problematic outbursts? Should I just leave support in place and let her deal with her own mess? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19710" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-18T16:24:39.567" LastActivityDate="2021-05-14T08:28:39.157" Title="Should I cancel child support?" Tags="|pre-teen|money|co-parenting|custody|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2021-05-15T08:45:57.843" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="22925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22924" CreationDate="2015-11-10T17:38:45.323" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;How you handle it is entirely up to you.  If you choose to bail her out, I believe it is reasonable to ask for something in return.  What that something is is up to you (I also advise that you have some sort of documentation of any agreement you make that will hold up in court, but I digress).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't cancel the order, you aren't doing anything wrong.  You are trying, at least in some measure, to have your ex be somewhat responsible for your son.  You are right that it is her problem if she can't live up to those obligations.  I understand that you are fearful that she will blame you for her inability to be a good mom because she had to go to jail.  However, and I am assuming a bit here and could be wrong, but I get the feeling that your ex isn't the kind of person who will take responsibility for her actions and will blame others for her misfortunes.  She could just as easily put a spin on anything, whether that's the court order or something else.  You have to weigh the consequences of her telling your son this versus your ability to tell your son your side of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, realize that by cancelling the order, you may be enabling a problem.  If she expects you to bail her out of this, what will happen the next time she needs help?  And if you don't help her, does that make you responsible for her getting in trouble?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I would make sure to raise your son so that he knows that he is responsible for his actions and the consequences of them.  If he learns early on that he can't blame everyone else for his problems (and that others can't do the same), you can head off any spin-doctoring your ex could try.  And as a bonus, you hopefully end up with a son who is responsible and thinks before he acts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-11-10T17:38:45.323" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22922" CreationDate="2015-11-10T18:26:43.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing you'll learn as a parent, is that children are &lt;em&gt;different&lt;/em&gt;.  Comparing one to another is like comparing a car to a strawberry: you can make lots of comparisons, but they don't tend to have much meaning.  One child being social and liking other adults and one child being quiet and preferring to hang out with parents is entirely normal: you've just described my two children at an equivalent stage in their development, largely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many children will be clingy, and will be so for years.  That's not at all a concern, absent other issues.  My oldest, a four year old,  is one of the most independent, smart, emotionally complex children you'd ever meet. He also refuses to go &lt;em&gt;anywhere&lt;/em&gt; without us - no soccer practice, no martial arts, nothing, unless he can do it &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; a parent (not just a parent nearby).  Who knows why - it's just how his personality is.  If you are concerned about developmental issues, absolutely talk to your pediatrician about this - you should anyway just to get a good understanding of what she's going through and how to help her out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 18 months your child is still very early to really socialize - but that's not to say you can't help her out.  Repeatedly taking her to situations where she can see other children playing, even if she doesn't play herself, will help her see the upside to playing with others: the laughing, the fun.  It might take a long time, but in the long run she'll learn for herself how to have fun with others - particularly if you don't push too much.  Let her observe, let her take her time to take it all in.  Some children are more considerate, more thoughtful, than others, both in terms of feelings and in terms of wanting to take their time working things out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, at the end of the day your child might be more of an introvert.  That's okay, too - many people are, myself to some extent included.  If that turns out to be the case, then you can read up on how to help an introvert deal with social situations - both on this site, and in extensive literature.  But I wouldn't jump to conclusions at 18 months - 18 months is simply so early for social development.  Talk to your pediatrician, be aware of the social development stages she's going to go through, and keep an eye out for opportunities to let her learn about socializing through observation and opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-11-10T18:26:43.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22927" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22929" CreationDate="2015-11-10T20:16:58.130" Score="44" ViewCount="18154" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a 16 year-old junior in high school. I often spar with my parents over the fact that I'm failing many classes. The issue, however, is not that I do not understand the material; it's that &quot;failing&quot; is simply my approach to passing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend to get high 70s to low 90s in the first quarter of each semester without having to study, pay attention in class, or even do the work. Then, in the second quarter (which usually comes with more &quot;difficult&quot; work), I can exert &lt;em&gt;about&lt;/em&gt; the same level of effort and pass the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, in class #1, I earned a 77 in the first quarter. Therefore, I only need to earn a 63 in the second quarter to pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;77 + 63 = 140&#xA;140 / 2 = 70&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Often, I sit in class programming on my laptop while listening to music. When this is not an option (because of a strict teacher, etc.), I generally write down math problems to solve, or zone out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a fairly knowledgeable guy, IMHO, and I know &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; of the things that my high school teachers (public school) are teaching. My standardized test scores have always been pretty good for my age (for example, I took the ACT at age 12, and got a 26). I may or may not go to college (I want to be a computer programmer), but if I do decide I want to, I will apply for scholarships that are based solely on ACT scores (planning to take it this spring).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents have different goals for me. They feel that I should have a 90 or above in every class (they've lightened up from 95 to 90), and to get a full ride to college. They constantly push for me to do more than expected (often bribing me, or threatening to take away my things if I don't comply).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've had a discussion with them before about possibly not attending college and instead going straight to the work force, and they seemed quite disappointed. They said many things like: &quot;it's so sad that you think that&quot;, and other demeaning things along those lines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not trying to spill my whole education history online, but I thought some background information might be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My real question is: &lt;strong&gt;How can I get my parents to accept that I'm only trying to pass (that I will, in fact, pass), and that I'd like to spend my time doing harder/better things?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They often tell me that I'm smart, but they are constantly pushing me to get better grades, or get onto me for having sub-par grades (by their definition). This trend has occurred throughout my life, even when I was younger when they would require I read &lt;code&gt;x&lt;/code&gt; number of chapters or for &lt;code&gt;x&lt;/code&gt; number of hours to earn time on a computer or watching TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll be 17 soon, and I believe I'm being treated like a young child. How can I get them to treat me like the age I am? Also, I feel like they rarely hear me out when I disagree with their way of thinking. How can I even start this conversation without them immediately shutting it down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;Note: As I type, they are arguing with me over schoolwork I haven't done.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19701" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-14T12:16:58.440" LastActivityDate="2017-03-19T22:15:46.027" Title="How can I convince my parents to accept my approach on school?" Tags="|education|teen|parents|conflict|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22927" CreationDate="2015-11-10T21:19:41.027" Score="53" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are ever going to be able to convince your parents about this, you first need to understand them.  If you don't understand what they are thinking and what they value here, your arguments are likely to miss the mark and have no effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume your parents are like most in that they want the best for you.  They want you to have a better life than they have had.  And to ensure that that happens, they are trying to push you towards success.  Since you mentioned in the comments that they both have advanced college degrees, they probably feel that college is a fairly good way to achieve success.  Which would explain why they want you to do well and not merely pass your classes.  Their reasoning  probably goes something like this &quot;Better grades lead to better colleges and a better education which typically leads to better jobs and a better life.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, no parent ever wants to see their child fail.  Your parents don't want to see you have to repeat a class or grade in school.  I know the chart above was merely an example, but if it were my child I would be concerned.  Some of those numbers don't leave much padding for passing.  If you had stellar grades all thru the year and slacked off the last week or two I would be far less concerned about you failing.  From that example tho, you aren't exactly squarely in the victors circle, but poised on the precipice of failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, if you want to convince your parents that you need to first ask them why they are so concerned and what they are pushing you towards.  Then you have to assuage their fears.  If they are worried that you won't get into college, you need to show them that you can or that you don't need college at all.  Do some research.  How easy is it to get a programming job without a degree versus with one?  Would your earnings change because of a degree?  What kind of opportunities do you gain or lose out on by going to college?  By going directly into the workforce?  Obviously as the motivations and concerns change, the arguments you need to make change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you need to pick a favorable time and place to have these conversations.  Trying to do this when your parents are stressed is not going to make them more likely to listen to a well reasoned objective argument.  Even less likely when the arguments become subjective and have emotions and judgements attached.  Also, if you bring your grades up, you are in a better position to talk about the subject.  With better grades, the conversation is more easily focused on what both you and your parents want and is less likely to deviate into a lecture on why your performance in school is unacceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-11-10T21:19:41.027" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22927" CreationDate="2015-11-10T23:03:57.567" Score="74" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want them to accept your approach, you're going to have to show them you've truly mitigated that risk.  The only way I can see to do that is landing some good-paying ($25/hour+) programming work and delivering to satisfied customers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best of luck, but I highly advise you to keep as many options open as possible.  Life rarely works out the way you plan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="6357" LastEditDate="2015-11-15T21:27:38.200" LastActivityDate="2015-11-15T21:27:38.200" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22927" CreationDate="2015-11-11T00:03:54.150" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in a similar situation when I was younger, though somehow I figured out how to have my parents work with me on it. I didn't do well in school because it was illogical to spend so much time on subjects that could be fully assimilated in hours. Explaining this did nothing, but when they saw what I was actually spending my time on instead of school work they may have seen my intentions and shifted their concerns toward getting me into an alternate program that allowed me to graduate early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say you spend your time programming in class. Do you have something material to show? Is there anything about these programs that would impress upon them that the standard curriculum is indeed a waste of your time? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can program from anywhere. When you do it for you, you are more likely to change the platform we all use. You are more likely to be inspired to build what you want to build, what you want to play, what you want to read. Your rewards will be so much greater than any programming job in the medical sector, or fast paced client driven web sites choking on their drupal back end. If you're a good programmer, or even a bad one with tons of experience, you'll probably get where you want to go. How much do you want to enjoy the ride?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe your parents want you to achieve what they never did. Maybe they know how depressing the cycle of a 5 day work week is and they want to give you the highest probability of avoiding such a cruel fate as they can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want them to realize your potential, show them. Let's see these programs you're writing. What can they do and how can they represent your motivation to excel beyond the standard curriculum which is slowing you down? And is there an alternative way to get you out faster, possibly at your own pace? You might explain why you are so eager to get a job?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Programmers think logically. So I want to know the logic behind these things beyond the math of technical graduation. The way I see it, you have formulated an excuse. It will give you the most time to do what you really love doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-11T02:08:40.920" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T02:08:40.920" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22892" CreationDate="2015-11-11T00:45:50.007" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Three suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find books that have similar themes or stories as the graphic novels he enjoys, and explain that the medium of the novel allows for even more detail and nuance and let him use his own imagination more so than having everything drawn for him. But you'd better pick great books that really are richer and more complex than the comics, or he will reach the wrong conclusions about books.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Just accept that graphic novels are the format he loves, celebrate the reading, and help him select (that is: give him) challenging, interesting graphic novels to read. Just like with books, you can have graphic novels that are simple and about superficial topics, or those that are challenging and deep. Steer him toward the latter.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep reading to him, and let him experience the variety of reading material in that activity. If he really enjoys being read to, enough to do a little work to keep that activity going, you can probably coax him into taking turns reading to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="866" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T00:45:50.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22914" CreationDate="2015-11-11T02:49:13.173" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, there could be some other motivation. It's hard enough dealing with hidden motives of people you know well; trying to figure out the true motives of strangers you've met on the Internet is next to impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you know how strange this is or you wouldn't have posted here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The possible motives are almost innumerable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is a professional photographer of children, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; your daughter is such a beauty that the photographer is &lt;em&gt;certain&lt;/em&gt; the combination of her looks and his talent with a camera will make his career take a new and amazing direction, that might certainly be one motive for wanting - even pressuring you - to allow him to take pictures of your daughter. However, this motive should be relatively easy to ascertain. Does he have a website with pictures of beautiful cherubs watermarked with his real legal name and his buisness.com address? Does he have a studio? (Why a basement? Is there something to hide?) Can he give you references from satisfied parents? If not, this is not likely his motive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may be an amateur photographer who wants to practice his hobby with a lovely model. That should also be easy to ascertain by looking at his online portfolio. Are there lots of good quality photographs? What does he specialize in: still lifes, landscapes, portraiture, architecture, basements, abandoned places, basements with children in them, what? How does your daughter fit into those categories?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, looking at his portfolio might tell you a lot about this man's motives. &lt;em&gt;Do be a sensibly harsh critic here&lt;/em&gt;: if he has an excessive number of mediocre  photographs of children &lt;em&gt;taken in basements&lt;/em&gt;, then he's not in it for the art of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The motive being hinted at in your question is pedophilia. One possible motive is that he wants to sexually exploit your daughter by taking pictures of her with the intent of distribution for money, or possibly only for his own use. (By the way, a parent who allows pictures to be taken for this reason risks prosecution.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand money is tempting, and certainly if I were in desperate straits, I would probably think this was heaven-sent and I'd let my daughter be photographed for money. But I would, as you've stated, chaperone the session, and furthermore insist on the presence of, perhaps, a local off-duty vice squad member. If he's only interested in her as a subject of art, what can possibly be the objection? Money is money and art is art. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a person's interest in photographing your daughter in the basement doesn't necessarily translate to either good boyfriend material &lt;em&gt;or&lt;/em&gt; good father-figure material. That has to be assessed in ways different from his interest in photography.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you do a criminal background check? It seems untrusting, but in this day and age... you can tell a lot about a person by doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this is helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://sax.sagepub.com/content/23/1/43.short&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Internet-Facilitated Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children: Findings From a Nationally Representative Sample of Law Enforcement Agencies in the United States&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-11T08:07:21.767" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T08:07:21.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21987" CreationDate="2015-11-11T02:54:19.580" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's good you are looking out for your brother!  Hey, tell him &lt;em&gt;don't worry about it&lt;/em&gt;... he'll grow out of it someday. Lots of kids do that, and boys are notorious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, don't worry about, just put some things in place to protect him and the bed, like a protective cover, and some towels, etc.  Then, make sure no more fluids after a certain time (depending on when he goes to bed) and make him go pee just before bed.  Finally, get him up in the middle of the night to go pee, so his brain can get used to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19722" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-14T22:42:08.783" LastActivityDate="2015-11-14T22:42:08.783" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22927" CreationDate="2015-11-11T10:16:42.073" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having gone through to almost the same process and ending up in a position that works out pretty well, I can say that this approach can work, assuming you really are as smart as you claim to be. A good programmer without a diploma is more likely to be hired than a poor programmer with a diploma. (In my area&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you want to get hired, people need to be &lt;em&gt;aware&lt;/em&gt; that you're a good programmer. This might also be why your parents are having a hard time with your approach. To a non-technical, non-directly involved person it's very hard to see the difference between someone wasting their time away on a computer and someone working on their future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So start showing your parents (and the world) that you're not just being lazy in school. Show everyone that you're simply working on a different curriculum that the one school teaches you, because you think your own choice of curriculum will get you further in life than theirs. The only ultimate proof is doing it, but you can still increase the odds that people see it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a bunch of stuff I did that helped my parents (and school counselor, and others) see that I wasn't setting myself up for failure:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Build stuff that is useful to others and show it to them&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'd be surprised how many new friends you make if you build tools for your classmates. When I took classes, we had graphical calculators that could be programmed. Learn the language for them and build programs that help people with their classes. Bonus points: if you know how to &lt;em&gt;build&lt;/em&gt; a program to solve the problems, you can also pass the exam.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure to explain/demo them to your parents so they can see what you're doing. In this modern day and age, you can certainly do the same thing for people's smartphones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another valuable skill for a developer is hearing problems and fixing them. Next time you hear your parents (or family, friends, anyone) complain about a certain problem, try and come up with a way to fix it. Build it. (Don't just tell them you can build it. DO IT.) Show them how it improves their life. Being able to do that is the very core of being a good (and hireable) developer and everyone will see the value you deliver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you put all the work you do online somewhere and build your own resumé. Get it out there. Show your parents how you're building up a professional skill set.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, get some real professional experience in the software business. The best place to start is being a freelancer, either by hunting down jobs on one of the various online freelancer-wanted websites. You can  also build some apps and try to sell them in the various app-stores.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Show, don't tell.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You&lt;/em&gt; know you can do this. But a professional developer is more than someone who can program. A professional developer can convince &lt;em&gt;other people&lt;/em&gt; that he can do it. Start building up those professional skills and your parents will see that you're not just playing with your computer, you're working on your future. Which is what people go to school for in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stop having discussions about how you're going to be fine. Start showing them how you're going to be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T10:16:42.073" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22914" CreationDate="2015-11-11T15:40:31.197" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No. Just no.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I appreciate @anongoodnurse's attempt to give him every benefit of the doubt, but this situation is not anything close to professional. A professional photographer, or even a serious amateur, would tell you exactly how he plans to use the photos. He would have to ask you to sign a model release if he was going to use them for any kind of legitimate purpose, like a photo contest, advertising, or just to have in his portfolio for future use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further, his offer to pay you is another huge red flag. If he thought she's make a great model, again, his first approach would be &quot;Have you considered entering little Susie in this talent search? I do a little photography on the side and would be glad to take some headshots for free,&quot; not &quot;I'll give you money to take pictures of her.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This guy is not indicating that he loves your daughter or wants to be a father to her. He is attempting to commodotize her. Do not ask him to explain more about the pictures or his &quot;business&quot; or &quot;hobby&quot; as a photographer. What's to stop him from finding a photography business with a generic name and claiming that its website is his? How would you know all those cute, semi-professional pictures of kids he shows you didn't come from a stock photo site or Instagram? In fact, if I were in your place, I would not contact him again beyond a generic &quot;I don't think this relationship is a good idea,&quot; and would not respond to any further attempts to contact me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T15:40:31.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20868" CreationDate="2015-11-11T17:47:29.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A bit late to answer for this year but for next...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a bit biased here (elementary computer teacher) but my suggestion would be to introduce her to &lt;a href=&quot;http://Code.Org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Code.Org&lt;/a&gt;, a site that uses a variety of games to teach kids coding concepts.  A lot of the games are based off of popular IPs, so for instance right now there is a game where kids can write code to help guide Elsa (from the Frozen movie) through a world.  There is also a game that lets kids modify Flappy Bird to basically make their own version.  It's all just drag and drop with simple commands.  You might be surprised how much a 7 year old can learn about programming with a small bit of guidance.  I've used this site with my classes as low as kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19738" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T17:47:29.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22914" CreationDate="2015-11-11T20:29:53.230" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question presents a number of 'red flags' which would make me immediately suggest that you walk away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even in the absolute best case scenario with your daughter, you haven't even established a relationship with him and he's already using emotional blackmail, taking advantage of your emotional state and unreasonably pressuring you to make a decision on something that you're clearly not comfortable with.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't consider those healthy behaviours in any relationship, new or otherwise.  Look at it this way - if one of your friends was in that situation, what advice would you give them?  (I'm going to bet it's not 'give him what he wants'.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a photographer myself I've shot loads of pictures of kids, some of them I've recommended for modelling but I wouldn't be offering up cash to a stranger to set up in their basement, I might invite them to a studio for a 'time for print' session but it would be a strictly no-pressure ask.  Throwing money at someone you don't know and then pressuring you to let them into their home to set up in a basement seems very wrong photographically speaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you strongly feel that his interest is/was in your child and not you then I would contact your local police department.  It may be nothing but they would rather investigate and find nothing; if nothing else they can give you background on how those who would seek to harm children operate in your area and specific things to look out for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T20:29:53.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22927" CreationDate="2015-11-11T22:00:53.367" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I'm an older version of you...&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your situation is almost exactly my own. I've been a computer programmer for 12 years and I have no degree. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My father did not get a degree, and it hurt him immensely in his career. My mother was a home maker who did not have a degree and did not know how to enter the work force when she needed to later in life. So they both pushed hard for good grades in high school and for me to go to college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents won the battle, and I wasted three years in college and didn't finish a degree. I wish I would have never gone because it was a colossal waste of money. Not only did they force me to go, but they did not help with finances at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was not in any way hindered by not finishing college. I have a good job, with good pay, and get offers on LinkedIn every single week for other jobs.&#xA;After you have 5 years of experience you will do fine, even without the degree. But getting that first job is very difficult. You should have experience somehow. Perhaps create an app and get it into one of the various stores? Create a website that serves some purpose and has some traffic? Something. You need to be able to say &quot;I can do this job, here's proof.&quot; Without that or your degree, you are in for a rough start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13677" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-11T22:51:14.113" LastActivityDate="2015-11-11T22:51:14.113" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4135" CreationDate="2015-11-11T22:30:03.143" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5 month old son showed a slight flattening on his right side. The laser scan can see it, I don't. (I believe it's 0.6mm above normal.) His frontal lobe of his skull is fine and no deformities. His ears are level and all looks well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do neck stretching side to side as per the Doctor's prescription as well as a lot of tummy time. He sleeps on his stomach, and turns his head from side to side. Sometimes he flips on his back when he is waking up, but not for a long period of time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have 3,000 dollars for a helmet which he would only wear for 3 months. As I'm feeding him, I support the back of his head and move my hand around every 5 min massaging it. We talked to a physical therapist and told him what I was doing; his exact words were, &quot;You are doing exactly what we would be doing. Keep up the good work and your son will be fine.&quot; That was a relief.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19741" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-12T15:16:46.207" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T15:16:46.207" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22874" CreationDate="2015-11-12T04:23:37.463" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hope you find the right solution. This is going to be about trial and error. All that baby knows is that he is uncomfortable with some stimulus or some need that he is not getting. I mean, think about it. Babies are not thinking about the woes of the world, so we know &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt;'s not getting him down.  Babies don't get mad at &lt;em&gt;people&lt;/em&gt;, so he's not &lt;em&gt;mad&lt;/em&gt; at &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;... or anyone else. He's expressing either &lt;em&gt;frustration&lt;/em&gt;, (not getting a desire/need met) or &lt;em&gt;discomfort&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is having &lt;em&gt;internal&lt;/em&gt; discomfort and has no other symptoms, i.e. fever, digestive, or neurological---and you've gotten his ears checked out for pain/infection---and his labs are ok... girl, you can't do anything except wait for that to pass, and it will. If it's &lt;em&gt;external&lt;/em&gt; discomfort, just try to figure out what it is. If he's not blue from being cold, pink from being overheated, sweating from being too hot, or shivering from being too cold--and he's &lt;em&gt;dry&lt;/em&gt;, put that baby down within eye shot and give him some kind of mobile to watch--some sort of stimulus, and go do something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot focus on him so much that you aren't getting anything else done. Here's something I did with mine... very helpful... I got a podaegi and carried her around on my back all the time... put her to sleep and freed up my hands-- -you can look it up on youtube and try different variations.  Good luck with that baby-- he's just &lt;em&gt;opinionated&lt;/em&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19722" LastEditorUserId="14356" LastEditDate="2015-11-13T20:07:17.020" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T20:07:17.020" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21687" CreationDate="2015-11-12T04:35:43.400" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Those are called night terrors.  I suggest bringing her into your room where, when she starts, you can just put a hand on her back and reassure her back to calm. I had a grandson who would have those...they grow out of them...but you need to have something to counter whatever is &quot;terrorizing&quot; them during their sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19722" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T04:35:43.400" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22960" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="22961" CreationDate="2015-11-12T08:18:02.933" Score="29" ViewCount="8085" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've a six month old baby. He's very healthy. My girlfriend (his mom)&#xA;is literally terrified by the &quot;dirt, germs, bacteria, and viruses&quot; and any&#xA;illness they could cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So..just to name a few, she wash child hands constantly when other adults touch them. She wash floors and baby toys after someone came into the house. And she does not allow that other babies (ie. his cousins) touch our baby...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that all this is a bit too exaggerated, especially the isolation from other babies - although I understand the concern. My girlfriend say that she behaves so until our baby will be one year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is right, or she is following her fears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19748" LastEditorUserId="19748" LastEditDate="2015-11-14T10:10:24.223" LastActivityDate="2015-11-15T03:26:15.907" Title="Mom too worried with germs and disease" Tags="|hygiene|cleaning|anxiety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22960" CreationDate="2015-11-12T08:35:31.907" Score="57" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies/children build up their immune systems by being exposed to germs and dirt. Keeping them away from germs and dirt actually gives them a weaker immune system. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/d2n-stopping-germs-12/kids-and-dirt-germs&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/d2n-stopping-germs-12/kids-and-dirt-germs&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not to say that you should bring your baby hang out with plague victims. Some germs (mold etc) can make baby really sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following web page gives some sensible guidelines: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/germs-and-babies.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/germs-and-babies.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2058" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T08:35:31.907" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22960" CreationDate="2015-11-12T10:37:17.557" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, your doctor or your girlfriend's doctor) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is possible that your girlfriend is experiencing postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). The hormonal changes during and after pregnancy are associated with multiple mental health issues, most prominent postpartum depression, but also the lesser known postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While the most common symptom of postpartum OCD are obsessive thoughts about harming the infant, another symptom is fear of exposing the child to something harmful, for example diseases or toxins. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you talk to your girlfriend and get the impression that she is having intrusive thoughts, or can't stop doing what she is doing, or get the impression that she herself is suffering from her actions, try to suggest talking to her doctor (whichever doctor she trusts most - for example her gynecologist, pediatrician or GP can all refer her to a specialist) about it. While the OCD often goes away on its own, the symptoms can be treated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, not saying that this is definitely the case here, but it is something to be aware of. Talking to her about why she does what she is doing (is she afraid the child will die, for example?) showing her that this is not  recommended should be the first thing to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Estimates of how many women show postpartum OCD vary greatly - I could find estimates between 1 and 10 percent. Unfortunately, most scientific studies I could find about this are behind a pay wall. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ocduk.org/prenatal-postnatal-ocd&quot;&gt;Prenatal and Postnatal OCD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4204467/&quot;&gt;Onset and Exacerbation of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Pregnancy and the Postpartum Period&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-11-12T17:30:42.177" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T17:30:42.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22960" CreationDate="2015-11-12T11:01:49.743" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;On top of Dave Clarke's answer (which is &lt;strong&gt;the&lt;/strong&gt; answer in my opinion), I would suggest that you and your girlfriend look at other people's kids of different ages and talk to their parents. My wife and I could tell you stories of all the disgusting things our kids licked and chewed, and they survived fine to be (so far!) well-adjusted teenagers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7389" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-12T16:23:08.973" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T16:23:08.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22964" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-12T12:36:28.677" Score="5" ViewCount="4762" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up in a family that usually hugs to say hello after not seeing each other for a while. I don't feel comfortable kissing anyone apart from my husband.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After we got married, my father-in-law started kissing to say hello. This didn't really happen before. It stresses me out every time we go to visit and I really don't like it at all. My husband doesn't really think it is a big issue at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I go about communicating that I don't want to kiss to say hello? We are quite good friends otherwise and I don't really want to make a big issue about it and make problems in the family. I am not very good at social interactions and don't know how to approach the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19753" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:05:44.353" LastActivityDate="2019-06-16T18:46:44.933" Title="How do I tell my father-in-law that I don't feel comfortable kissing as a greeting?" Tags="|relationships|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22966" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-12T12:54:59.743" Score="5" ViewCount="102682" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 6 months old son wants to walk and gets upset if either of us won't support him while he's doing so. He can't crawl yet, can't sit up without tipping over eventually, and he can't stand on his own. He can put considerable weight on his legs and sometimes outright refuses to sit (he literally bends backwards, lifting his tushy so we can't sit him down in a car seat or high chair), but lacks balance to stay in an upright position. He also can't stand on his own, even if he supports himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we don't stand him up or help him walk, he becomes fussy, screams, or cries. Occasionally, he won't have trobules with sitting down, but a lot of the time he just wants to stand, and often walk while we support him, or in a baby walker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've recently been told this is bad, but weren't told why. &lt;em&gt;Is&lt;/em&gt; it bad, why, and what do we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19413" LastActivityDate="2018-08-19T06:06:16.173" Title="Our 6 months old son wants to walk. Can this be problematic?" Tags="|infant|behavior|health|walking|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22964" CreationDate="2015-11-12T13:32:11.497" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;After 4 years of such greetings, I don't think there's much you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; do without creating an awkward situation and a certain tension at every future greeting. You can vary the degree of awkwardness and tension, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, you won't get rid of the discomfort by just letting him kiss you every time. But first thing's first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make your husband understand that this is bothering you. If he wants to just brush it off, tell him that it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a big deal for you and that you're planning to do something about it. Don't make him do the work for you, though, but do talk it over with him and tell him what you are planning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you meet with his father, make sure you're out of earshot of others - you don't want to embarrass anyone, right? Then just tell him about it. Tell him you've always felt that way and were afraid to tell him because you didn't want to offend, but you just have to because you're feeling too uncomfortable about him doing it. (I assume this is all true, if not then change it to match your situation.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't tell him what you said in the comment to Martin's answer, that &quot;it's your body to do with as you please&quot;. That sounds like an attack and it would put him on the defensive and create further tension. The conversation could go either way - he could be offended, try to make you feel embarrassed, or he could agree not to kiss you any more and laugh about it with you. That really depends on his character and there's really nothing you can do to control his ultimate reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he agrees not to kiss you any more, the only further thing you need to say on the topic is &quot;thank you&quot;. Resist the temptation to elaborate, and change subjects (it might help to pick a subject to talk about beforehand).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case he is offended say you're sorry to have caused offense, that it wasn't your intention, but you can't help feeling uncomfortable about it every time. Maybe next time avoid greeting him entirely?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, weigh your options carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19413" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T13:32:11.497" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22964" CreationDate="2015-11-12T14:49:24.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you've never talked to him directly about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a reasonable request for you to make, and there's no valid reason for anyone to take issue with it.  Many families, even from the same culture, have different levels of comfort with kissing and hugging.  In today's global world most people understand the concept of different traditions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just tell your father-in-law that you grew up in a family with a different tradition about kissing, and that it's personally important to you that the only person you kiss on the lips is his son. If he doesn't respect your request, that becomes a different issue, but it's not fair to expect anyone to guess how you feel about something if you've never made it clear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T14:49:24.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22964" CreationDate="2015-11-12T14:50:17.050" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The type of greeting between two people has to be initiated from both sides. I am particularly awkward when it comes to greetings and good-byes and it tends to be that I am trying to work out what the other person is going to do and then I return the gesture. However, this can result in an embarrassing situation - accidentally going for a kiss on the wrong cheek, hugging too much or too little etc. I find the more I am self conscious of it, the worse it can be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I am greeting someone who I've met a few times and I can tell they have a similar problem, I find it can help to make a positive approach to the greeting to make it clear what type of greeting I feel comfortable with. For example, after one awkward kissing greeting with a particular acquaintance, the next time, I held out my hand to shake instead. The awkwardness of the previous greeting was not the other person's fault but I felt that until I am more comfortable with that person, and can read their intended greeting style better, it might be more appropriate to avoid a kiss type greeting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's probably a bit extreme to hold out your hand to your father-in-law who has greeted you with a kiss for four years but I would suggest that perhaps you can try to alter the greeting gradually to something you are more comfortable with. If you don't mind hugging, try going for a hug next time. Or if he's kissing you too directly on a part of your face that feels inappropriate, try turning your face away a little so that it's more of an air type kiss. Unless he's completely overpowering you to get a kiss which I don't think would seem OK to your husband, I think you can try to make some physical adjustments to gradually come to a new type of greeting that you are happier with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't suggest talking to him about it as a first step. That could make you both feel uncomfortable. I don't think it's very unusual for there to be a little awkwardness between father-in-law and daughter-in-law. He's probably just trying to do what he thinks is right. It sounds like you have a good relationship apart from this so I would try to first make some subtle changes so that the good relationship continues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T14:50:17.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22971" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22966" CreationDate="2015-11-12T14:51:17.183" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you should be aware that &lt;a href=&quot;http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/22/the-dangers-of-baby-walkers/?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby walkers are considered harmful today&lt;/a&gt;. Stimulating walk before the child is in the right development phase is bad too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 6-months old's usual activity is to lay or crawl, not stand and walk (it's very early for walking, although &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8144/my-2-month-old-daughter-is-trying-to-stand-can-this-be-harmful&quot;&gt;standing can be OK not overstimulated, as seen here&lt;/a&gt;). Do you have an idea why he wants to stand up? Is it because he lacks interesting activities at near-ground level (laying down or crawling) and therefore wants to stand? Do you stimulate him to get him to stand or walk (hence the baby walker)?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If yes, you should probably stop and try to stimulate him with laying and crawling on the floor. Try to find different activities and encourage activities laying on the floor or crawling, e.g. catching toys or stuffed animals, playing with bells or rattles, enjoying small books with things to see and to touch. You can even lay and crawl yourself with him -- kids love to see adults behave like them from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, every child is different and yours might be more &quot;walky&quot;. But still: he won't learn walking before crawling. And trying to rush through the phases of development won't help him -- early walkers are good crawlers first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note: Beware also of car seats and similar equipment for long hours: a 6-months old's place is to play on the ground, not stay seated. Only that way he'll learn crawling and from there walking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2678" LastEditorUserId="2678" LastEditDate="2015-11-12T15:34:17.183" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T15:34:17.183" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22964" CreationDate="2015-11-12T15:07:49.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of this is familial culture. My mother &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; kissed on the lips, my father always. In my own nuclear family, at some point in my child's (adult) life, I stoped kissing on the lips. I'm not sure why; I think it might have to do with respect for their adulthood. Whatever the reason, I agree with you; it feels weird. We do kiss on the cheek, though. But that's a bit beside the point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;No one should ever feel imposed on physically by another. It's a boundaries issue.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds (and I may be wrong) that your husband's family may have little experience setting healthy boundaries. Your husband's dismissal of your long standing concern is a red flag for this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;i don't really want to make a big issue about it and make problems in the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This, and the fact that you haven't put your self first in this case for 4 years, indicates that you might have little experience with boundaries as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I suggest you start reading about healthy boundaries and involve him in your reading. It will take time, but there's an end in sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he comes around to respecting your issue, he could be the go-between. He knows his father better, and can probably deal with confrontation (&quot;Why would she feel that way?&quot;) better than you can. If your husband doesn't come around, then you have to have it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, you can smile at the next greeting and just give him a hug. If he forgets and tries to kiss you, just say (you do have the right to express yourself), &quot;I'm sorry (Dad/Peter/whatever), I feel more comfortable with just a hug. Nothing personal, that's just how I was brought up (or some other impersonal reason.)&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People without boundaries have tenser social interactions because there is less respect for the individual's feelings. Set it straight now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/10/08/how-healthy-couples-deal-with-their-in-laws/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How Healthy Couples Deal with Their In-Laws&lt;/a&gt; &amp;lt;- this isn't necessarily the best that's out there; merely the first hit when searching for &quot;setting boundaries with in-laws&quot;.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/10/23/the-7-laws-of-boundaries/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The 7 Laws of Boundaries&lt;/a&gt;&amp;lt;- Recommends a book as well.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-12T15:20:31.567" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T15:20:31.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22960" CreationDate="2015-11-12T15:31:28.583" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like Martin, I think Dave's answer is &lt;em&gt;the&lt;/em&gt; correct one --too sterile an environment has been convincingly shown to be harmful.  However, I think it's also important to understand this from your girlfriend's point of view.   This kind of paranoia is very common among first-time parents, so try to be understanding of her, she's just doing what she thinks is best for your child. Hopefully once she sees the actual research, she'll understand that her actions are counter-productive, and change her behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You both might enjoy these &quot;first child, second child&quot; commercials --they show how universal this is:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZMhHzucl9lI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZMhHzucl9lI&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA; &lt;a href=&quot;http://youtube.com/watch?v=UyhJazT3kqo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://youtube.com/watch?v=UyhJazT3kqo&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T15:31:28.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22966" CreationDate="2015-11-12T15:37:08.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When a child wants to climb a tree for the first time, do you wait until they've developed the capability completely on their own, or do you help them, steady them, and be there in case they fall?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same is true of walking. Probably since the beginning of communication, people have expressed different opinions about this. But long before that, babies have wanted to walk long before they were able to do so on their own, and parents have played the little game of holding their hands/wrists (not just hands) and doing so with their delighted child. Because it pleases their child, and there's nothing wrong with it. When the baby is tired, they'll signal that it's time to stop by not supporting their weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, on the used-worldwide Denver Developmental Milestone Screening Test, there's a specific entry for this - BEAR WEIGHT ON LEGS - starting at &lt;em&gt;2 months&lt;/em&gt;. Obviously at two months they can't pull their way up to the standing position. In this case, they stand on your lap while you hold them by the torso. I have always asked this question in my well-baby check ups. No one has ever asked if it was bad for the baby. I don't know where or when this myth arose, but it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a myth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is not only not harmful for the baby, but a normal part of gross motor development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to add&lt;/strong&gt;: As to the use of the baby walker (which I didn't address in my answer; I referred to holding a baby's wrists to help them walk when they so desire), Pediatricians do warn against them for fear of injury. There are also studies that report that walking on their own is delayed by one to two weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the American Academy of Pediatrics &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/108/3/790&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;position paper&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Because data indicate a considerable risk of major and minor injury and even death from the use of infant walkers, &lt;em&gt;and because there is no clear benefit from their use&lt;/em&gt;, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a ban on the manufacture and sale of mobile infant walkers. If a parent insists on using a mobile infant walker, it is vital that they choose a walker that meets the performance standards of ASTM F977-96 to prevent falls down stairs. Stationary activity centers should be promoted as a safer alternative to mobile infant walkers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Academy does admit that parents perceive their babies derive pleasure from walkers. The point is &lt;em&gt;they don't think the risk is worth the benefit.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, in the AAP practice guidelines for injury prevention in the first year of life, the pediatrician is directed to ask:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol start=&quot;10&quot;&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Do you ever place your baby in an infant walker?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and the following is the recommendation given to discuss with the patient:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not place your child in a walker.&lt;/strong&gt; Every year, more than 8,000 injuries occur to children in walkers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a physician, I do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; recommend baby walkers because babies do get injured in them. I believe the media hype is frenzied, but that is my personal opinion. Nonetheless, I would no more recommend them than I would recommend allowing one's child to crawl unsupervised at the top of an open staircase, because of the risk of injury (&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; because I think crawling  at the top of an open staircase retards motor development or intellect.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-13T08:41:59.050" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T08:41:59.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22966" CreationDate="2015-11-12T15:46:49.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course this can be problematic.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;But far more for yor back than your baby's well-being!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry for that slightly joking start, but let me re-phrase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are different &quot;schools of thought&quot; about whether you should support your baby in executing movements he or she can't do alone yet. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8144/my-2-month-old-daughter-is-trying-to-stand-can-this-be-harmful&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; and the answers have a few links that calm worries, others follow the principle to support only so much that the child can develop the strengths required for a specific movement. I leave that to others to decide, as far as I can see, the jury is still out on that (with a tendency to worry less and help more).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few aspects that you should keep in mind though - and that will possibly have a general influence on your parenting style.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child is six months now. He expands his radius of action every day and develops an idea of what he wants. Unfortunately, he also meets more obstacles on his long way to independence. Note that this are just the first steps on a very long way that will last at least until his Teens. You should start now developing strategies how to handle that as a parent. Of course, you can assist him in &quot;walking&quot; whenever he demands it, but at some point there will be the moment, where you can't or won't do that. So you might as well start today to find a way to live with the inevitable tantrums. Because:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let's face it: &quot;walking&quot; with a six months old baby can only be done in a very uncomfortable postion. Bent over or walking on your knees (yes, I &lt;em&gt;have&lt;/em&gt; seen parents do this). Neither is a position the human body was designed for. Backaches etc. are sure to follow. Not a good idea if you have to care for an energetic baby, so find your own tolerance level and be firm with the boundaries. For your own sake. For the baby's reaction, see point 1.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some people think that &quot;walking with a baby&quot; helps them walk faster. In my observation, this is not the case. A child will start to walk when he is a) physically able to do so and b) figures out that this method has advantages, e.g. that you can carry a toy with you or see more - as oposed to crawling. It often is also a leap of faith: Let go of the table / sofa / wall / other support and walk towards your destination. That leap is not required when you can get your support (aka Mom / Dad) walk &lt;em&gt;with&lt;/em&gt; you. And where 2. comes into play again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Speaking of support: Many parents love their &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_walker&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;baby walker&lt;/a&gt;, partly because they believe that their children will learn to walk faster. Studies have proven that this is not the case, but instead the natural movement is resticted and it can lead to a &quot;wrong&quot; foot position, that will actually &lt;em&gt;delay&lt;/em&gt; independent walking. Various organisations have issued warnings against them, including the American Academy of Pediatrics. The sale of baby walkers is forbidden in Canada since 2004. If you insist on using one, &lt;em&gt;always supervise, limit baby's time there and consider it a toy&lt;/em&gt;. Many babies love them, might it be for the position, the possibility to get somewhere or even the little thingie and dodads &lt;em&gt;on&lt;/em&gt; the walker. So understand what is is (something to entertain your child) and what it is not (a tool to learn to walk) and use it accordingly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T16:37:42.320" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22924" CreationDate="2015-11-12T16:39:46.293" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From a legal standpoint, if you think she would sign over rights in exchange for cancelling the child support, I would do it.  This doesn't have to limit her ability to see the child, but it does give you legal protection if she decides she wants to go for custody later on (personal experience - my stepbrother's mom did just that, in hopes of getting my dad to pay her child support.  Luckily, she failed).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as how this affects your child, I don't think one is worse than the other.  My (birth) dad took off when I was young, and eventually my mom did the same thing you're considering, offering to drop the arrears and cancel support moving forward if he signed over rights and let her new husband adopt me.  Did it hurt that he signed me over in exchange for money?  Yes.  But it also hurt that he wasn't paying the money all along.  I would just explain it simply to your child.  In my opinion, 11 is old enough to understand who is caring for him, and kids are good at continuing to love their parents even while understanding that they are not reliable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T16:39:46.293" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22966" CreationDate="2015-11-12T17:57:10.387" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually walking at six months is highly unusual, but &quot;cruising&quot;, or walking holding on to furniture, is less so.  The &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denver_Developmental_Screening_Test&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Denver II&lt;/a&gt; indicates that 25% of seven month olds can walk holding onto furniture (and while that test is controversial to use for diagnostic purposes, it can be useful to get a broad idea of when stages are likely to occur).  My oldest sounds very similar to your child; his daycare had cruising height  shelves all around and through the room he was in, and by six months he could pull himself up and cruise along them with ease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What makes me a bit confused here is that you say he can't sit up.  Sitting up is something that should come before walking, in particular because it is a similar set of muscles: the abdominal muscles that help you sit up also keep your balance.  This is actually where walkers, bouncers, or even assisted sitting devices (i.e., chairs, bumbos, etc.), can be a bad thing; they let your child sit/stand/whatever without using those balance muscles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my suggestion is to lay off of the walkers (or bouncers or assisted sitting devices), and instead set up his room (or wherever he spends most of his time) with some appropriate height furniture that he can pull himself up on.  That would be things that are around 18-24&quot; high; a coffee table can be a good start, or a low couch.  Something heavy enough that he won't move it by accident (and not bookshelves or other high things that can fall, certainly!).  Give him several options around the room, and then encourage him to work on pulling himself up.  That should allow him to work out his 'stand up' needs while helping develop his abs.  And if he sometimes wants to walk with you helping him out - that's perfectly fine; but make sure he's getting plenty of work in where he's doing the balancing too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, you have lots of things you can do to help him develop his abs (and his other muscles) while he's on the floor.  Give him toys that are fun to play with in a seated posture: baby pianos, things that make noise when you hit them from above, etc.  Then, sometimes sit him at those toys (so he can work on staying sitting up), and sometimes put him near the toy but not seated (so he can work on sitting up from lying down).  Giving him plenty of things to do, while letting him develop the muscles and gross motor skills he needs to be working on, should help him get to where he wants to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, on a related note, this kind of thing will be common all throughout childhood.  He will want to do things he can't do yet, and be frustrated and upset when he can't.  Helping him do things is totally fine, as long as you're doing it in a way that you don't inhibit his development of those skills himself.  But even past that, he'll simply be frustrated sometimes, and one of the skills you can help him with is learning to manage that frustration.  When he's 2 or so, he's going to hit a point where he can talk pretty well, but you can't understand some of the things he says, and that's going to be so incredibly frustrating for him.  When he starts riding trikes, he won't be able to pedal at first, and he'll be incredibly frustrated by that.  Each of these are teachable moments, where you combine teaching him how to handle frustration emotionally and process that emotion with helping him work out a plan to overcome the obstacle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T17:57:10.387" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22924" CreationDate="2015-11-12T18:37:39.137" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is 11, and really shouldn't be privy to the monetary specifics of your relationship with his mother. However, &quot;Should&quot; often doesn't translate to reality. So you need to be prepared, if you take this step of denying her and in effect sending her to jail (let's call a spade a spade; your son may well see it this way), or of cutting her out of your son's life, to explain to him exactly why you did this, in spite of not needing the money. After all, sending her to jail will not make the money flow, so if she paints it as being for the money, she's correct in that respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My initial reaction is that it's her problem, not mine. She is a constant source of stress in our lives, and the life of my wife of the past 4 years... I feel like this would be awful for my son though...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That says it all. It &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; (there's that word again) be &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt; about what's best for your son, not what's best for you and your wife. You seem to think your son would be resentful. Why is that? You have to answer that yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are my options here?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your options are many. You can do either of the things you propose (and answer to your son in the months and years to come.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also recognize that she &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; paid you - even out of her unemployment (!) - when she could, and cut her a break (ask her to make up for it when she gets a job?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, you can just be a magnanimous dad and forgive her her debt, as you would (I presume) wish to be forgiven if the tables were turned. If that's not the case, and you really would prefer to go to jail and be cut off from your son because that's best all around, then by all means, do take those drastic steps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bottom line in my opinion is that any action you take should, really should!, be about what's best for your son. If she is detrimental to him, take her to court, prove why he would be better off without her, and let an impartial party - who will take your son's feelings, opinions, and well-being into consideration - decide if you're correct. But please don't use this unfortunate turn of events as an excuse to get her out of &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-12T18:48:29.220" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T18:48:29.220" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22924" CreationDate="2015-11-12T21:11:40.443" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child has a human right to a family life with his mother.  Her financial debts to you are irrelevant to that right.  She has a human right to a family life with her child, and again her debts to you are irrelevant to that right. These rights can be interfered with, but only in extreme situations.  Is the child at risk of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from her or her partners? And note that even in that situation there are methods used to enable visits - for example supervised visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So whether she sees him or not has to be kept separate from any money that she owes you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You describe her as causing trouble for you and your wife - that's not a reason to interfere with your son's human right to a family life.  However it is a good reason to change the way contact happens.  You may want to put in place strict arrangements about the disruption she causes. Some examples might include asking her to only ever email to arrange contact arrangements; or you may want to arrange pick ups and drop offs at a children's contact center where you drop the child off to a trusted 3rd party, and leave, and then she collects him, so you and she never meet. There might be a cost involved in that - either she could pay it, or you could pay it because it makes your life easier.  This protects his right to a family life, while keeping her problematic behaviour away from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But really you're better off speaking to a lawyer about the financial stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-11-12T21:11:40.443" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14754" CreationDate="2015-11-13T10:35:24.197" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;So in essence your question is analogous to : How would Pavlov's dogs go about having the good doctor change that annoying high pitched (whistle) he conditioned them with to something more pleasant to their ear, perhaps a small silver bell for example. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To which the good doctor would have replied that he is but a 6 month old infant while you are a self aware, educated human adult with years of life experience who is salivating all over his expensive lab equipment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider modifying family members response to unwanted stimuli (stop drooling at whistle: don't change son's environment when he produces high pitched scream) till he realizes that a new signal needs to be invented to get you drooling again and do his bidding. Try settling on one of the more pleasant noises or behaviors he will exhibit that's more pleasant for your indoctrination. (That is if you want to condition yourself again). ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17390" LastEditorUserId="17390" LastEditDate="2015-11-14T05:52:00.013" LastActivityDate="2015-11-14T05:52:00.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22927" CreationDate="2015-11-13T14:32:53.850" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My story is very similar to your own. I was bored to death in school, I missed more school than I attended (in high school years) and still managed to keep passing. In &lt;em&gt;my environment&lt;/em&gt; I was exceptionally smart. But you're not in the adult workforce with other professional programmers. You have not held a job where you need to perform alongside people who are better than you at your common craft.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things change drastically when you become a fully independent adult. Things happen that are beyond your control constantly and you must adapt to them. As others have mentioned and I can confirm, you can do this the way you propose, but you must invest a lot more time and effort. You need to be exceptional to prove that you can perform in your chosen career without a piece of paper that says you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your parents know these things&lt;/strong&gt;. They know how adult life unfolds in an unpredictable way, how you're spending more time reacting than calmly watching plans unfold exactly as expected. They are trying to help you, but I think you do have a valid point though about how they're trying to help you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, the way they're trying to help you is a perfect example of how people plan and strive so hard for one thing, and end up getting an unpredictable, undesirable result. By forcing you to work harder and harder and set your sights higher, they've only contributed to the overall attitude that is making you want to withdraw from school, not excel at it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What they're trying to do is prevent you from running into situations like the ones I and others have described. They know that getting a leg up before hitting full adulthood is important, because it becomes exponentially harder as the years pass once you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with you entirely on measuring the depth of a person by some test scores, but unfortunately this is how the world works. At the end of the day, I would not have had any of the problems I described to you if I simply had a piece of paper. I've worked beside people who were numbskulls in the same field as I, yet they were instantly hired on into better positions with better money because they gave the initial time, money and jumped through the hoops to get a piece of a paper. That's the facts. No matter what, they were going to get at least a foot in the door somewhere with almost no questions asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It sounds to me like this whole situation can be resolved by having clearer, more open dialog with your parents.&lt;/strong&gt; Both sides need to be open to being wrong and having their plans scrutinized by each other. You need to explain to your parents that you've dug your heels in and decided to go against their direction for your life. It might not be pretty, but it sounds to me like this is because they've already dug their heels in too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you were to leave the door open for some hope of a compromise, they may become flexible to opening dialogue to try to salvage at least some of their hopes. Don't be harsh, but communicate your position firmly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that no matter how strict they are, they are your parents and love you immensely. It's from this love that these plans come, no matter how flawed they are. Communicate this to them as well, as I'm sure you love them. I have yet to encounter a conflict where a clear expression of love from my children can't soften my heart in even the worst of moods. As someone else mentioned in a great answer, a letter may be the most effective method to break the ice on this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user17824" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-05T12:22:02.187" LastActivityDate="2016-01-05T12:22:02.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22873" CreationDate="2015-11-13T14:59:18.370" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a collection of games that are ground-orientated, e.g. not stepping on the floor, not stepping on cracks, walking on rocks or cobbles, etc. There is likely some evolutionary element at play here as humans are very much a ground-orientated species; while we have some capability climbing trees and swimming in water, we are natively ground-dwellers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, once we have a grasp of the art of walking and running on regular, safe surfaces in a normal manner, we then move on to games around unsafe traversal. Naturally, unsafe floor is far better imagined than real, although kids are known for accidents while deliberately balancing or climbing over uneven terrain. Socializing an imagined danger is part of playing such a game together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14356" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T14:59:18.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22992" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-13T16:20:32.873" Score="0" ViewCount="241" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently tried to explain to my daughter (3 years old) that she was crying a lot &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; she was exhausted. The reason she was so tired was &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; she did not sleep after lunch. When asking her &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she sang rather than trying to sleep, she told me &quot;I did not sleep &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; I cry a lot&quot;. Obviously she does not understand the words &lt;em&gt;because&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; (not that I am surprised given her age). But, how can I explain these words to her? Or how can I ask my questions another way so she can give me relevant answers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6075" LastActivityDate="2015-11-14T03:10:53.373" Title="How can a 3 years old understand and use the words &quot;because&quot; and &quot;why&quot;?" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|language-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22924" CreationDate="2015-11-13T17:17:56.003" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know - I'd be a hell of a lot  happier if my ex were out of my life too. But she's only in my life BECAUSE we made a couple of awesome kids together. And the kids are already old enough to know that mom can be unreasonable, that mom has her faults, and where mom falls down in the parenting department. They also know all that stuff about me too because I'm not perfect either. And you know what - they love their mom, warts and all, and without reservation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So no way in hell I'd have her sent to jail over payments she can't make. And no way I'd ever use that as an excuse to nail her on custody. I'm an adult - I can suck it up. My kids, on the other hand, shouldn't have to pay any &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;avoidable&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; price for her mistakes. &quot;Sorry - you can't see your mom unless she pays me?&quot; Really?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want my kids to grow up loving and compassionate, and yeah - they learn by example. So I suck it up, and I treat her with as much kindness as I can, even if that isn't always reciprocated. And you know what? My kids notice that. Once my eldest (16 at the time) came into my room after she had tore into me over nothing and asked &quot;is she for real?&quot;. Would have been the easiest thing ever to  say what I really thought, but I bit my tongue and just said &quot;let it go bud, its not anything for you to worry about - she loves you, I love, and she's just angry right now.&quot; I'm pretty sure they've seen me fail at being kind a few times too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And as for your wife, protect her as much as you can (assuming she wasn't part of the reason for your breakup from your ex) but at the end of the day she knew you had an ex that was going to be in your lives. That was part of the package of marrying a parent. On the bright side - once the kids are adults you can get out of each others lives most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So your options are simple: Choose what sort of example you want to be to your kids and what you want them to think about YOU - and decide how to go forward with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T17:17:56.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14754" CreationDate="2015-11-13T17:32:20.127" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son has learned cause and effect.  If he doesn't like something (being put to bed, wants down, wants his way, etc) then he makes this noise.  You respond by giving him what he wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To break this behavior, stop the reward.  It is called extinction.  If you put him to bed, and he screams, ignore it.  If he makes a different noise, respond.  At ten months, he's not old enough to use words, but he is more than able to learn a new cause-effect system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The exact same solution is used to deal with whining later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6246" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T17:32:20.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22864" CreationDate="2015-11-13T19:28:10.787" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it were me, I'd withdraw from the child, but not silently without explaining yourself of course. Both of my children went through a phase where they were abusive, acting violently and saying mean things. In the case of my children, they were younger and their behavior could somewhat be excused because they were opting for expressing themselves in outbursts instead of through proper communication and had yet to learn this lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the case of your son, while he may not know how to perfectly express himself, you can't just fall back on this to excuse his actions because he is old enough to know that this behavior is entirely inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back to my children, despite their age, they still got the same treatment and it was highly effective. If one child was hitting another, I would come get the child being hit and take them away to do an activity with them alone, and explain to the abuser that we don't want to be around them because they are being mean and hurting us. Follow up the criticism with the right thing to do of course, explaining that if they weren't doing X, we could all be happy together. Half-hearted apologies were not accepted, the separation was enforced until a real change of behavior happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I say enforced, I mean fully enforced. When my children were going through this phase, if they insulted or hit their mother, guess what? No more lullabies at night, no more of moms baking, no perks from the person being abused whatsoever. When things were really bad, we'd set up a table for them to eat at alone, because they don't get to be around people they habitually assault verbally or physically. If you're mean and treat them like garbage, you deserve nothing from them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Provide essentials of course (as not doing so would be abuse) but all the perks, gone. He's 12, maybe he can do his own laundry, or can fix himself sandwich for lunch, no more rides to the sports he loves to play etc. Maybe some of those options are not appropriate depending on his own stage of development, but you'll know best which are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can feel harsh and some might think it's a bad idea because you're not addressing the underlying issues that are causing the child to act out this way. It is true that they need to be addressed, but they certainly cannot be addressed at all while the child is exhibiting a complete disregard for your position as a parent and the mental and physical health of your entire family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter how angry or hurt, everyone wants to be accepted, especially by those closest to them. Make sure that you convey that you love them, ask them why they are hurting you, lay on the guilt, then separate yourself. The separation serves the purpose of protecting yourself and the rest of your family from severe abuse, while giving them time to dwell on their actions after the entire family has unified to condemn the actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This must be done in a very carefully balanced way. You must appear united and strongly condemning this behavior, but it must be abundantly clear that you desire nothing more than to fold them back in. Note &quot;being mean&quot; not &quot;are mean&quot; - don't condemn the child, condemn the actions and let them know they are better than that. Not making this distinction will tell them that they are not better than that. All the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user17824" LastEditorDisplayName="user17824" LastEditDate="2015-11-13T19:36:31.013" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T19:36:31.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22927" CreationDate="2015-11-13T19:32:12.730" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I even start this conversation without them immediately shutting it down (they rarely hear me out when I disagree with their way of thinking)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: &lt;strong&gt;As I type, they are arguing with me over schoolwork I haven't done.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You start with 2 things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Giving them your full attention&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Listening and Understanding their position&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't start this conversation by &lt;em&gt;talking&lt;/em&gt;.  You start it by &lt;em&gt;listening&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first bullet is because your parents probably consider it rude when they're trying to tell you something and they think you aren't paying attention.  That is, they're talking to you and you're looking at your computer.  When you choose to do that, you're the one shutting down the conversation before it's even started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second bullet is to demonstrate to your parents not just that you've been listening and can regurgitate their words back to them, but that you truly understand the ideas they're attempting to impress upon you.  This doesn't just mean the immediate &amp;quot;you want me to get high scores in my classes&amp;quot;, but the deeper understanding of (what might be) &amp;quot;doing well in my classes gives me more options of how I will succeed beyond high school by potentially qualifying me for more and greater scholarships OR demonstrating to potential employers that I am a hard worker and high achiever.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When parents want their children to do or accomplish something, they are putting their entire adulthood of life experience and accumulated wisdom behind it.  You won't always be able to see or understand the underlying motivation, and that's OK.  What you can do to help you both is to try to find out what that motivation is, where it comes from, and why it's there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may still disagree in the end, but if you can show them that you understand and appreciate their way of thinking they may be more interested in the dialogue about how you think.  That's when you find you're in a constructive dialogue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're not going to win them over by dismissing their concerns and attempting to deconstruct their arguments point by point.  This is a classic case of &amp;quot;even if you're right, you're not going to win.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I get my parents to accept that I'm only trying to pass (that I will, in fact, pass), and that I'd like to spend my time doing harder/better things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're going to have a very hard time convincing them of this if you don't know why they want more from you.  This is where understanding what they want from you is critical so that you can attempt to explain to them how you intend to exceed their expectations and demonstrate to them the progress you've made towards doing exactly that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other answers and comments have also gone into the extended discussion of how trivial and uninteresting things are part and parcel of life, and how those can be perceived to either offer you greater opportunities or limit you from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even in a dream meritocracy, being perceived as &amp;quot;can't do easy things well&amp;quot; is going to be a severe progression limiter, no matter how smart or skilled you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps your parents are trying to get you to understand that they think you might not have the chance to do those harder/better things that you want to do if you don't do the easier/trivial things well first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I may or may not go to college&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In regards to the workplace in general: There will be opportunities that are closed off to you without a degree of some kind.  Many first-line HR processes will immediately disqualify or reduce the priority of resumes from applicants without them, simply because it's a fast and easy way to turn a large pile of applications into a smaller one.  You can still be successful, but it requires more effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="95" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T19:32:12.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22992" CreationDate="2015-11-13T20:09:10.330" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can explain the difference (if you must explain it) by saying Why asks the question and Because tells the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19722" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T20:09:10.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="22999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21880" CreationDate="2015-11-13T20:21:39.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are not willing to do the same thing her mama and daddy did, you're going to have to retrain her..and that might take some time.  Personally, I say, let her stay up till she falls over.  She's not going to school.  How late can &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; stay up--because we would want the baby supervised of course.  But, if you can stay up later---let her stay up till she falls out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19722" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T20:21:39.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22924" CreationDate="2015-11-13T22:30:09.203" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think the other answers recognize the legalities of your question and it really should be asked on the Legal SE but I can answer you here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Child support is not yours.  It is your child's.  Your child is not 18 so cannot legally bind a contract.  Therefore the courts are the guardian of the child and look after his rights.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No court that I know of would ever allow child support to be wiped clean - without the mother relinquishing all rights to the child (your wife adopting).  This is a HUGE stretch and has only happened a handful of times.  So if you went to court and told the judge that you won't make your ex pay child support because of XYZ then the judge would not be looking out for the interest of the child (their sole job in family court) by taking your offer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The judge may make the amount less significant.  But I have never seen a judge allow total dismissal of support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as sending mom to jail.  Very very rarely will that happen, especially with the mom.  If it does it is usually a very unsubstantial amount of time (a couple days).  The judge wants the mom making money and paying support and seeing child, not costing tax payers money.  If she is behind going to jail for a few days or a month might help her get straight and get some semblance of a life back together.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case I would just let the legal system try to work.  In family courts you will have a great bearing on what the judge does.  In that you can ask for leniency of the unpaid support or ask for certain provisions.  But in my opinion if she is as volatile as you say and has this long of a history, it is better to be dealt with than for this to continue around your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Also I don't know your ex.  Going off your question I would not even think about her giving up legal rights.  This could indeed be a circus and she might change her mind 10 times and you might spend 50k on a lawyer.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7004" LastActivityDate="2015-11-13T22:30:09.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22992" CreationDate="2015-11-13T23:32:39.130" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She understands the words just fine, what she doesn't understand is the underlying &lt;em&gt;cause&lt;/em&gt;.  Kids that age live very much in the moment.  Past and present get jumbled in their mind, and they don't pause to reflect on their motivation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somehow parents can't resist asking why anyway, but I can count on one hand the number of times I've received an answer that makes sense to me.  Just resign yourself to it being the parent's job to figure out why, and if you're lucky, your kids will confirm it for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2015-11-14T03:10:53.373" LastActivityDate="2015-11-14T03:10:53.373" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21880" CreationDate="2015-11-14T06:42:27.140" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had one kid that I could put in bed at any time and he would wake up 11-12 hours later.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rest... ummm no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a 4 year-old I wouldn't expect her to get up late.  They only do that if you need to get to work early.  It is really easy.  Set a bed time.  Let's say 9:00PM.  Put some pillow toys in bed with here - some flashlight type toys.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will play with the toys until she falls asleep.  She will then get more and more bored with the toys and fall asleep easier each night on her own.  Proven method I used on my other 3.  (this does not mean she gets Barbie or cars or trains and normal toys in bed)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7004" LastActivityDate="2015-11-14T06:42:27.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23005" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23008" CreationDate="2015-11-14T07:10:46.773" Score="4" ViewCount="237" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7 yo and 10 yo who basically are great kids, but I find myself in a lot of battles that I don't think I can walk away from.  (Everyday stuff like - 'no watching tv /playing video games all day is not ok' / 'yes, it is bedtime now' / 'yes, you do need to help out picking up some of your stuff' etc.)  While I'm keen to both pick my battles and provide appropriate guidance, I'd also like my kids to stay happy and I think being fun would help.  Any tips?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19779" LastActivityDate="2015-11-15T11:05:10.973" Title="tips for staying fun" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5671" CreationDate="2015-11-14T14:53:55.910" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've tried all the above with my little guy. One day I tried something new: &#xA;I laid him on his back (try to get baby to relax if you can, it works much better) and I took his knee and crossed it over to his elbow. Left knee right elbow, right knee left elbow. Works every time. The farts come right out, it's amazing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19782" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-14T16:04:32.377" LastActivityDate="2015-11-14T16:04:32.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23008" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23005" CreationDate="2015-11-14T19:56:29.547" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to ParentingSE!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to try to answer your question, but it's quite broad so maybe I haven't understood what you're asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children respond well to positive reinforcement. And it's nicer for the parents too.  So, when they're doing something good make sure to mention it - &quot;Hey, you're playing with your brother really nicely!&quot;  You can't praise good behaviour too much. Things like sticker charts help here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, when you need to change activities present the new thing as a fun thing that they want to do, rather than telling them to stop whatever they're doing now.  Turn everything into games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that might help is letting them set a time limit.  This should be short - less than 10 minutes.  So, when it's time for them to go to bed ask them how much more time they need, and set a timer. This gives them some control (but not much), and gives them some warning about context changing.  And, again, you can sticker chart reward good behaviour during bed time routines.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &quot;let them make choices&quot; is an important tool.  Sometimes it helps to offer two options - &quot;do you want to have a bath or a shower before bed?&quot; or &quot;do you want me to read from this or that book?&quot; or even &quot;do you want to wear these or those pyjamas?&quot; - this lets the child feel they have some control over what's going on, and it helps you guide the choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About chores: sometimes it's good to build a routine for a tiny chore that they do every day.  So, they might leave their room untidy but they have to put dirty clothing in the washing basket, for example.  Or they can leave their room untidy but they have to put the Legos back in the tub after use.  Reward this with a sticker chart and plenty of praise, and increase the chores each fortnight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But my main point is: reward good behaviour; give a lot of praise for good behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please leave a comment if I misunderstand you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1385" LastActivityDate="2015-11-14T19:56:29.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22115" CreationDate="2015-11-15T09:52:46.360" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've realised after writing this that your question is months old but I'm going to post it anyway because I also have a child who behaves differently to others and want to offer encouragement.  Your situation is different to mine but a couple of things from your questions stand out to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;My son has been diagnosed with ADHD&quot;.  My child has Aspergers syndrome and that has such an enormous range of behaviours that diagnosis isn't the end of the story.  If you haven't already, I suggest that you make contact with someone who specialises in management of gifted children and make contact with other parents with similar children to find some shared understanding of behaviours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;We've tried every type of reward/punishment we can think of to do&quot;.  My brother drove my mother to fury because she had no way to influence his behaviour.  Both punishment and reward didn't alter his behaviour at all, even as a teenager.  My son is the same and I'm still struggling with it.  The only suggestion I can offer based on that is that scaling up the reward or punishment is likely to make things worse rather than better.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your child makes his own decisions for his own reasons and I've found some success with my son by talking things through with him and introducing some understanding of consequences.  Ideas as simple as counting to ten before acting on an idea sometimes take root.  The intelligence is a double-edged sword as this produces children that are capable of conceptualising possibilities that they don't have the wisdom and experience to assess - there's no &quot;that would be a bad idea&quot;.  What he needs is tools that he can apply to determine whether he should act on an idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, from the comments it sounds like you're doing an awesome job.  With an engineer and a librarian for parents there is real potential in his becoming someone who knows how to soak up knowledge and apply it to solutions.  I think you're already providing the gifted program that the school isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19789" LastActivityDate="2015-11-15T09:52:46.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23005" CreationDate="2015-11-15T11:05:10.973" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In terms of &quot; I'd also like my kids to stay happy...&quot; what disturbs my kids the most is when I behave unexpectedly.  Be consistent and you should be fine.  My kids don't like being told off but they know when they're breaking the rules so I don't think it impacts their happiness to be disciplined - certainly when I'm making funny faces or doing the &quot;I was right&quot; dance they laugh along with me so being the rule-maker doesn't stop them being happy with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't let them decide when there's a battle.  They're hard-wired to look for boundaries and that means that they'll always challenge you so possibly you're stepping into debates or exchanges that you're better to ignore.  It's not a matter of choosing your battles - they've still got to go to bed, but you don't have to debate it with them.  If my kids are watching TV and they argue when I ask them to change it, I just switch it off. If they argue about going to bed I tickle them into submission or pick them up and carry them out of the room.  Find something that works for you but which sends the message that you aren't going to argue.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to quickly engage them with the thing you want them to do - if it's bedtime I talk about what they're going to do tomorrow as I encourage them out of the room, DanBeale's suggestion of choices is another way to get kids focussed on what you want them to do instead of why they don't want to do it.  Shut down or remove anything that provides a distraction (TV, computer, pets, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;DanBeale's answer has good advice that's not all my style but might be right for you - my kids, for instance, are natural debaters so when I offered them choices they just debated the choices.  Find something that works for you and your relationship with them.  Oh yeah, and avoid my mistake of never letting them question the decision.  As they get older there's more chance that they're right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19789" LastActivityDate="2015-11-15T11:05:10.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23015" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-15T14:42:04.113" Score="4" ViewCount="1747" Body="&lt;p&gt;Me and my husband have different mother languages. We are having a baby. Which language should we speak to baby, mine or my husband? We are living in my husband country not my country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19798" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-15T15:10:02.660" LastActivityDate="2018-02-24T16:13:28.780" Title="Which language should we speak to our child if we have different mother languages?" Tags="|language|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23015" CreationDate="2015-11-15T15:02:52.300" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The simplest answer is whatever works for you! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a great opportunity to teach your child both languages and for them to be exposed to both your culture and your husband's culture. Many bilingual families have different methods which work for them. Sometimes the mother speaks one language to the child and the father speaks the other. Or both parents speak both languages. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially since you are living in your husband's country, this is a great opportunity to teach your child your language, so that they will be able to communicate with your parents and learn more of your culture. They will probably be receiving a lot of exposure to your husband's language just in the community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I are in this situation. We are a bilingual household and we speak both languages to eachother as we feel. This will probably continue after we have children. English (my mother tongue) is not spoken a significant amount where we live, so it will be a priority for me to expose our children to English since they'll be getting plenty of exposure to my husband's language outside the home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19750" LastEditorDisplayName="user19750" LastEditDate="2015-11-15T15:08:03.810" LastActivityDate="2015-11-15T15:08:03.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5671" CreationDate="2015-11-15T16:04:39.517" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The massage several other posters have described (and that worked for us) was called the &quot;I love U&quot; massage - there are several &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrLPD20P80c&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;demos on YouTube&lt;/a&gt; under that name, if a video of the technique would help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also want to look at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.windi.info/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Windi&lt;/a&gt;.   It's a catheter that reaches past the muscle that prevents the release of the gas with a built-in stopper to prevent it from going in too far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17472" LastActivityDate="2015-11-15T16:04:39.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23019" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23029" CreationDate="2015-11-16T08:34:43.483" Score="31" ViewCount="7395" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can I explain terrorism and the recent radical Muslim shootings in Paris to my primary school age children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have obviously noticed the media reports and they saw our local TV tower lit up red-white-blue today and so we cautiously started talking about what have happened in Paris and why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I've got a hard time explaining the motives of the terrorists. Especially as we are not religious and the concept of god is something we only briefly touched in the past yet that's what seems to be in the core of all these recent attacks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't necessarily want to explain terrorism or Islam vs Western world conflict in all the details to my kids. Hence I ask here for tips on how to simplify why it happened. Because they already know it did happen and they want to know why, if it can happen again, if it can happen here, etc. All are legitimate questions even from a little child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no problem talking about &quot;difficult&quot; topics like money or even sexuality with them but here I'm at a loss...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13940" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2015-11-16T18:20:38.547" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T02:26:53.923" Title="How to explain Paris terrorist attack to primary school age children?" Tags="|primary-schooler|communication|fears|violence|media|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23019" CreationDate="2015-11-16T10:08:09.820" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the line I've taken, for better or worse...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like in school we trust teachers to be telling the truth about things in lessons.  The people who attacked France, were told lies by their teachers but they &lt;em&gt;really, really&lt;/em&gt; believe them - they think that we're bad people and they're good.  So they want us to live their way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way they were taught tells them that it's okay to hurt people if you're doing it for good.  But under it all, they are just normal people, just like us, who've been taught to be bullies - they want us to live their way and do what they say even when we don't agree or we think what they do is wrong.  It's just that being grown-ups it means that when they hurt people they use more dangerous things like bombs and guns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The chances of being caught up in an attack are very small, even if you live in one of the big cities that they like to target.  For a start you have to be in the right place on the right day, at the right time of day.  With approximately 2,270,000 people living in Paris (that doesn't include the visitors).  200 people were hurt or killed (last I heard), that's less than one person in every 11,000 people in Paris.  Have a think about what 11,000 people look like - it's a lot of people!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, even if you happen to be caught up in an attack it's pretty likely though it might be horrible that you will probably survive.  My wife was at Edgware Rd tube station in London when the 7/7 bombings happened and the thing is that, as well as her, hundreds of other people were there too.  But only a few were hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes.  It's wrong and it's silly to us - but if your teacher told you the same lie, every day you'd start to believe it in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2015-11-16T10:17:58.573" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T10:17:58.573" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23022" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-16T10:41:18.503" Score="3" ViewCount="594" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son just turned 3, and the last few weeks has taken to waking up at 4:30-5-15am. He has a long nap from 12:30-3pm then we put him to sleep at 7:30-8. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He: sleeps with white noise from a fan, the temperature is perfect, no sounds, has a nightlight, isn't hungry, doesn't wet the diaper much anymore, and still isn't getting enough sleep. He wakes up a zombie and will remain one until 8am  eating breakfast is a battle, he won't play with toys, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything we've read we've tried. Quietly encouraging him to go back to sleep only gets a screaming tantrum that wakes his little sister up in the next room. Sitting on the floor doesn't help either, because it's a bad habit to start, and because he doesn't go back to sleep. We've sat there for over an hour and after that he's still awake - just placated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have yet to try the timed nightlight that will switch on at a given hour as a signal it is ok to get out of bed. That is our last hope unless you kind folks can give us some other suggestions or insight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19808" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-16T18:22:29.730" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T22:03:38.700" Title="Toddler waking up too early" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23022" CreationDate="2015-11-16T12:09:16.213" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;In your question do you mention that your child seems &quot;a zombie&quot; in the morning, yet you say that he wakes up and doesn't fall asleep, no matter what you try. You don't describe other symptoms like yawning, general crankyness, tiredness during the day...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is, if a child wakes up after twelve hours of sleep or so:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Did it occur to you that he might simply have slept enough?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; recommendations as to how many hours of sleep are usual for a child of a certain age, but &lt;em&gt;those are not &quot;one-fits-all&quot; values&lt;/em&gt;. Children have individual needs, some will always need more, some less and some will vary depending on what is going on in their life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the moment I will be assuming that he gets about the &lt;em&gt;amount&lt;/em&gt; of sleep that fits his needs, which means you can only try to influence &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; he should sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't tell much about his daily schedule, whether he's home or goes to daycare, so I'll offer you two suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;cut the nap&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This means he goes to bed rather early in the evening, but might be cranky before bed. This is probably the method most parents in western culture choose. Many children stop napping during their third year, or at least significantly shorten their naps.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;let him stay up longer in the evening&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Some children need a nap after a morning in daycare or similar to wind down and regroup. For them, taking a short rest is very  beneficial. The fact that your child takes a 2.5h nap at the age of three could be a hint that he falls into that group. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So before you try a &quot;don't get out of bed&quot; light, I suggest you do some basic calculations based on when you want your child to wake up and adjust bed- and naptime accordingly. You need to plan for a certain transition time until the new schedule is established. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately children - like adults - have their &quot;internal clock&quot;, some will always wake early, others simply seem not to get tired. But if I read your question right, even an hour or two more in the morning is better than having to get up at 4:30... And there &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; people that simply aren't &quot;hit the floor running&quot; types. They need a certain &quot;get into gear&quot; time to start their day. My daughter is like your child: A zombie for the first hour at least. We adults tend to drink another cup of coffee and muddle through, children are more direct in their feelings. It does get better though...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-11-16T15:31:38.310" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T15:31:38.310" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23015" CreationDate="2015-11-16T16:05:44.647" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As other people have said, it's hard to say without knowing your goals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will probably want to speak to you child in your best language, even if it isn't the community language and even if it doesn't have the prestige of some other language. (You didn't say which, so I'm definitely not making a judgement on what is a more prestigious language)  If you are a balanced bilingual, i.e. equally competent in both languages, it doesn't matter, except that children don't learn the language they don't hear. Lots of research demonstrates that bilingualism provides a host of benefits from economic advantages to resilience against dementia in old age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do decide to raise your child bilingually, one-parent-one-language is a common successful strategy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T16:05:44.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23026" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-16T19:04:45.233" Score="1" ViewCount="204" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am naturally a very conserved and patient person. I think this is sometimes confusing to a 4 year-old, who can easily tell when his mother is unhappy with him due to her tone of voice. For me, I may tell him to stop (&lt;em&gt;or else, etc.&lt;/em&gt;), in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, which generally doesn't do anything unless he is pre-inclined to agree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The time when it is most annoying is when I don't think the action itself requires disciplinary action. It is just annoying me. Like constantly buzzing his lips and blowing raspberries. Apparently, he can enjoy doing it for long periods of time, and really if he's having fun with it, should I care? Usually I might ask him to stop, but then just let it go, because I don't want to put him in time-out for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, his mother can just say his name in a warning tone of voice and he'll stop. It's worth mentioning that he is not as familiar with me. We've known and been around each other pretty often for almost 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I make more effort to say my words in a different tone of voice? Should I be more harsh, and start using time-outs even though his choice of fun is just annoying me a bit? Or do I just continue as I have been, and rely on the fact that eventually we'll better understand each other and he'll grow out of it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastActivityDate="2015-11-17T20:18:38.870" Title="Should I show more anger when unhappy with a child's actions?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23019" CreationDate="2015-11-16T19:08:00.433" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like many topics, I think adults tend to be the ones whose ideas can't handle things like violence and conflict (and talking about such things with children), moreso than that children can't handle it. Children are quite capable of talking about violence, war, and sexuality, and they do so, even in Kindergarten, even if adults are carefully avoiding such topics with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being so, I think the best thing adults can do is handle their own hangups about difficult situations, and be honest in answering children's questions. At least, for suitably developed adults, which is unfortunately rare. Adults tend to be mired and confused and upset about politics and so on. But if they can talk about the basic facts in a simple way, it can be useful to children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answer the questions they actually have. So, probably not geopolitics or deconstruction of the term terrorism and how it used to include violence by governments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;... Because they already know it did happen and they want to know why, if it can happen again, if it can happen here, etc ...&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'd think of what my best human-level answers are, if I even know, and be honest. In my case, this might look like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Why?&lt;/em&gt; &quot;Good question. We don't really know because we don't know the people who did it, or why they did it. But people sometimes get confused by anger, or desire, or lies, and sometimes think they have to attack other people. It's very sad, especially for the people they attack, especially when those people don't even know why they're being attacked.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If it can happen again?&lt;/em&gt; &quot;Yes. The world is a very large place full of many people, and many good and some bad things happen every day. When it happens to people we know and like, people feel upset and so they talk about it to let their feelings out.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;If it can happen here?&lt;/em&gt; &quot;It's possible, but I really don't think it will.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9899" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T19:08:00.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23026" CreationDate="2015-11-16T19:18:31.350" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At this point the child clearly does not see you as an authority figure, and he won't until such time as you become one. How, if, and when that happens needs to be a discussion between you and the child's mother - it isn't something you can do unilaterally -  because not many parents think highly of anyone else disciplining their children. I say that only because you don't describe the child as yours, and if I am wrong on that point please correct me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the positive side, it sounds as though this child does know how to take direction without much fuss, so once you take on that role it should go fairly smoothly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when the time comes, no - try not to show yourself as angry. Stern yes. In command yes. But not angry for minor things like this. The child needs to respect your position, wheras anger breeds fear instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T19:18:31.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23019" CreationDate="2015-11-16T19:50:23.447" Score="29" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've got a hard time explaining the motives of the terrorists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know whether this is the best article on the subject (it's near the top of &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.fr/search?q=isis+motive&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this Google search&lt;/a&gt;) but for example &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/06/terrorism-isis-motive/395351/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;What Motivates Terrorists?&lt;/a&gt; starts with,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the most frequently asked questions about terrorism is also the most intractable. Why? Why do they do it? Why do people join terrorist groups and participate in acts of terrorism?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are as many answers to this question as there are terrorist groups, and everyone from clerics to caustic cab drivers seems to have a confident opinion on the subject, as though the interior world of terrorists can be easily mined and mapped. But this confidence is often misplaced, given how little scholars actually know about terrorism and the people who are involved in it. It also betrays an epic obliviousness about just how difficult it is to access the internal, subjective desires and emotions that shape the outer world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another article at the top of that Google search is &amp;quot;What ISIS Really Wants&amp;quot; which claims to describe the group's ideology, but even if that's true I guess that the group ideology isn't the individuals' motives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because it's difficult for you to know, beware it's likely (or certain) that if you try to explain it then you'll tell some untruth or oversimplification or stereotype (which I think you should avoid when explaining the world to children, notwithstanding the &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie-to-children&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Lie to children&lt;/a&gt; concept).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular it might be better to (or I might prefer to) avoid teaching xenophobia, for example, or avoid mis-explaining a &amp;quot;religious&amp;quot; doctrine that you don't personally understand and which isn't a real motive in your world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, instead of guessing terrorists' motives, perhaps an explanation like the following, of things you do know be true:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;People get hurt&lt;/strong&gt; e.g. illness, and car accidents (up to you how much you want to go into that, e.g. to include an explanation of death, old age, accident, etc., and what causes those, whether such 'hurt' is eventually inevitable and how to react to it).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;People are sometimes &lt;strong&gt;hurt in crimes&lt;/strong&gt;: robbery, murder, etc.&#xA;They're hurt &lt;strong&gt;because criminals&lt;/strong&gt; hurt them. &lt;a href=&quot;https://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/questions/29814/could-i-have-a-culture-where-stealing-is-not-wrong&quot;&gt;Society more-or-less defines &amp;quot;crime&amp;quot; as actions-which-hurt-people.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having got that far you might be shirking the truth if you didn't add that &lt;strong&gt;people get hurt in wars&lt;/strong&gt;. I don't know how much you want to equate &amp;quot;war&amp;quot; with &amp;quot;criminal behaviour&amp;quot; however the doctrine of &amp;quot;just&amp;quot; war i.e. &lt;code&gt;en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_war_theory&lt;/code&gt; might be wrong for someone of primary school age (even if you agree with it), so simplify that as &amp;quot;war is hell&amp;quot; or what you will.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you can turn the conversation to what they need to know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why &lt;strong&gt;we&lt;/strong&gt; don't hurt people&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why we're not &lt;strong&gt;criminal&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What to do to &lt;strong&gt;avoid&lt;/strong&gt; hurt (being hurt causing hurt, perpetuating hurt)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What to do if we &lt;strong&gt;are&lt;/strong&gt; hurt (if we can't always avoid it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What to do if we see &lt;strong&gt;someone else&lt;/strong&gt; hurt&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because they already know it happened and they want to know why, if it can happen again, if it can happen here, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can only suggest what I see as truthful answers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yes it can happen again. It's been happening forever and will continue.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Theoretically it could happen to you, in practice it's unlikely to: there are two million people in Paris, 700 million in Europe, do the maths to see how likely it is to happen to you (this year).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Might be an opportunity to talk about violence in general (e.g. statistically people are a more likely to encounter domestic violence, bullying, robbery, than terrorism).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some corollaries:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is unlikely to happen to you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some things will happen to you eventually&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why you should behave well even when other people don't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have obviously noticed the media reports and they saw our local TV tower lit up red-white-blue today&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could use that to explain solidarity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe spare a thought too for the (constant) victims of war in other countries; and/or the role that the media plays in war (and how the media reacts to terrorism, and that affects the media's consumers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19836" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T20:01:22.213" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23026" CreationDate="2015-11-16T19:53:22.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with what Michael has said, but I'd add (in comments if I could) that using the &quot;Stop, or else&quot; method is only effective if you follow through on the &quot;or else&quot; portion. If you can't manage to do that, or, as you've said, it doesn't seem worth it to punish the action then try and use different terminology. If you don't follow through children will often see this as an empty threat and this sense can lead to ignoring your authority altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always give clear explanations as to why the behavior is aggravating you, giving a child the ability to understand how an action can be distracting or upsetting is a great tool for reducing behavior issues and building trust in a relationship, ultimately leading to respect. I often have to use similar techniques in the classroom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19761" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T19:53:22.093" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23015" CreationDate="2015-11-16T21:07:47.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Be natural and use both languages.  I would emphasise the language of the culture, just for assimilation, but Children are sponges.  They can easily learn both languages.  And learning both languages early may make it much easier for the child to pick up additional languages in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6246" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T21:07:47.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23022" CreationDate="2015-11-16T22:03:38.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Stephie that it sounds like your son is probably sleeping enough and that's why he won't sleep longer in the morning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This page gives a guide as to how much sleep children need on average. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-child-need_64915.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-child-need_64915.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a three year old, it shows nighttime sleep of 9-12 hours and daytime sleep of 1-3 hours with a total of 12-13 hours. I have personally never been able to get my own son to sleep as much as these type of charts suggest but it sounds like your son's sleep is around the averages given here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps your son is grumpy when he wakes up just because it's dark and no-one wants to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to make a third suggestion about adjusting his schedule. Over a period of a few days I would try moving the nap a bit later and making it a bit shorter. This could allow your son to shift some of his sleep total into nighttime without him getting too cranky before nap or bedtime. Alternatively, you could shift the nap later and bedtime later. I find with my son that he if he has a nap earlier than he really needs it, he tends to start waking earlier in the morning as he uses the nap to compensate for the early waking. Your son probably is quite tired by his 12:30 nap at the moment which is why you need to move it gradually and hopefully you'll see his wake up time start to get later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read in a lot of places that some children just wake up early and there's nothing you can do about it but I don't agree with that. People seem to manage to shift their child's schedule for daylight saving or changing time zone. It might not happen overnight but it will change over a period of time. Some children are very sensitive to daylight so you may need to make an extra effort to keep the room dark in the mornings if this is the case for you. If you're in the northern hemisphere, that shouldn't be a problem at this time of year though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing - could he be hungry when he wakes up? Particularly if you sometimes give him breakfast soon after he wakes up early, his body may get used to needing food early. You could try holding off on breakfast or giving him some milk and seeing if he'll go back to sleep for a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2015-11-16T22:03:38.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23033" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-17T04:24:39.080" Score="2" ViewCount="156" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work part time with a kids after-school group and sometimes use Aesop's fables (which I also love) to teach them various moral values and ideas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently I've been trying to find a story (I'm looking for an Aesop's fable but I'm open to other options) that teaches kids that failure is a normal part of life, not to worry when we fail, and the importance of accepting our mistakes, learning from them, and moving on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I work with a number of groups ranging from say 6 to 16 and they are Chinese kids (I'm in China) so their English is fairly basic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19824" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T17:54:16.307" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T17:54:16.307" Title="How to teach kids the value of accepting loss and moving on using Aesop's fables or otherwise" Tags="|teaching|books|morals|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23033" CreationDate="2015-11-17T05:07:49.587" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I taught I often stuck to real world individuals the students would know, but that failed often before reaching stardom or fame. I usually mention; Michael Jordan (Tons of good inspirational videos on YouTube), J.K. Rowling (author tie-in for Aesop), Jay-Z, Katy Perry, Jim Carrey, Bill Gates (Windows or Xbox drop depending on the crowd), and Walt Disney because everyone knows those movies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you'd be willing to share the age group I'd be happy to share some content I've gathered on the subject over time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19761" LastActivityDate="2015-11-17T05:07:49.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23035" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-17T05:13:37.837" Score="1" ViewCount="230" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a step son and step daughter who are 11 and 13 I have been married to their mum for 9 years and there is a big problem within the family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I tell the kids to either do something or stop doing something it ends up in a fight with my wife. They either don't do what I ask or keep doing the behavior that I am trying to stop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most recently my son is eating with his mouth open, I ask him to stop and he keeps doing it. This starts a fight with my wife as she says I am getting on to the kids too much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been a big problem with my step daughter for the last 6 years. I am waiting for the &quot;your not my dad. you can't tell me what to do.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19825" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-17T15:45:55.607" LastActivityDate="2015-11-17T15:45:55.607" Title="Problems with discipline for my step-children" Tags="|discipline|parents|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23037" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-17T10:40:08.717" Score="78" ViewCount="17636" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is a big fan of books. She can spend one hour in a row looking at her books, and often asks my wife and me to read her a story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are a french family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For 2 weeks, she's been looking at words written in the books and mimics the act to read with her finger. Then, she says she wants to learn to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my question is : how to teach a young child to read? Is it possible? I learned to read with the &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/2701162033&quot;&gt;methode boscher&lt;/a&gt;&quot; (french book), where each letter is decomposed into a sound, then concatenated (P + A gives &quot;PA&quot;), but I'm not sure she could understand that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I tried to make her guess words beginning with a particular sound, an exercise I already saw in prelearning reading. But she didn't understand the exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17458" LastEditorUserId="17458" LastEditDate="2015-11-17T11:07:48.873" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T20:54:09.080" Title="My 2.5 years old daughter asks to learn to read" Tags="|toddler|education|reading|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-17T13:52:33.880" Score="113" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are lots of things you can do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't make it a chore.  She loves reading so foster that, don't kill it.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep reading to her. As you do, trace your finger along the words so she can begin to relate specific spoken words to their written counterpart.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start teaching what sounds individual letters make.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Point out letters that go together to make sounds.  Start with small common sounds.  e.g. in English -at is a very common compound. Hat, cat, bat, etc.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick a word that you know is going to be common in the book you are about to read and point it out to them and make that &quot;their&quot; word for that sitting.  Every time you get to that word, they are the one who gets to say it out loud instead of you.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Just to reiterate: Keep reading to her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastEditorUserId="11261" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T11:14:30.150" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T11:14:30.150" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23040" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23035" CreationDate="2015-11-17T15:17:10.687" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The conversation you and your wife had over chewing with your mouth open sounds like a conversation any parents could have, not just mother and step-father.  The fact that the kids are your step-children and not your biological children seems mostly irrelevant to me.  The bigger problem is that you and your wife don't agree on how to raise and discipline your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kids are at an age where, at least in my experience, they like to play one parent off another.  &quot;But Mom said I could...&quot;, &quot;But Mom always lets us...&quot; and &quot;But Mom said it's ok (even though Mom never got asked at all)&quot; are some things kids try to do to leverage the fact that there are two parents instead of one.  If one of you is more permissive, that is who they will go to to ask about anything they think they might get denied.  If that option isn't available (for instance, if your wife is away), then the &quot;But Mom&quot;s come out in an attempt to get what they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find some time to sit down with your wife without the kids and talk about it.  If you feel like she is undermining your authority, tell her (and find a nicer way to phrase it).  Tell her why you are concerned about your relationship with the kids.  Talk about the things that bother you about your kids' behavior and decide what you can live with and what needs working on.  Then figure out what to do &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt; and stick to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-11-17T15:17:10.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-17T15:44:06.090" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a french guy who was reading at age 3. My father used the &quot;méthode boscher&quot;, and it succeeded incredibly: I can vouch for it and the feasability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is currently learning to read (age 6) with a method called &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%A9thode_globale&quot;&gt;lecture globale&lt;/a&gt;&quot; where one learns to recognize the shape of a word. It feels like a bit of a gamble, since he approximates lots of words at the moment, based on part of it. I'm not a fan, and I've tried mixing it up with the &quot;méthode&quot; at home. Looks like its working a bit more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two points though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;before beginning, my father made sure I really really understood that this would mean lots of work. I don't know if I was aware of what it meant, but once started we would stick to it. The question was asked on many consecutive days before starting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;after beginning, oh boy did we stick to it. Once again this is based on related anecdotes but my father would teach me one new group of letters every day, and never miss. Even when I wanted to stop, he told me that we were in it for the long haul.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently he was very methodical, and didn't diverge from the &quot;méthode&quot;. However he tried to vary the approach (point all the PAs on the page, find a PA followed by TE, etc...), and didn't teach me more than one element per day, unless asked to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19843" LastActivityDate="2015-11-17T15:44:06.090" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23042" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-17T16:14:12.007" Score="1" ViewCount="3387" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can I get my 25 year old daughter to be motivated to finish her degree, get a job and start looking after her appearance?  She still behaves as if she is 15 years old.  All she wants to do is watch tv series and sports all night long get up at 16h00, most days doesn't even wash her face or brush her teeth except if she is going out and even if she is going out she still wants to dress in jeans tshirts and sneakers and gets all upset when I tell her she should look after herself and have proud in herself ....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19844" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-17T16:23:47.837" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T22:10:36.157" Title="Motivation for my 25 year old daughter" Tags="|behavior|adult-child|motivation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23044" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-17T16:56:56.320" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;From personal experience: I started reading at 3. I was 4 when I read a book on my own for the first time (Winnie the Pooh - the original, not some dumbed down Disney version). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So to the &quot;is it feasible&quot; question - yes, it is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But something you need to consider: there will be plateaus. This is usual for any human learning curve for any skill, but they were very noticeable when I was learning to read. I certainly remember that there was a single &quot;aha&quot; moment when I switched from reading aloud to reading silently. My father describes a similar earlier moment when I switched from recognizing each letter on its own to recognizing a word at once, of which I have no memory. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point is: be prepared for these plateaus. They will happen. When they do, don't despair, don't think that your child &quot;is never going to learn it&quot; or similar. Don't try to push her through them too hard. Don't leave her stay on the plateau forever either. When she reaches a level at which she's comfortable but progress stalls, let her exercise on this level a lot, but every now and then, ask her to try a slightly harder task. If it doesn't work yet, wait a few more days or weeks with exercises on the same level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that at this age, language acquisition is not only a matter of intelligence, it is also a matter of physically developing the needed brain nuclei. You might want to read &quot;The Language Instinct&quot; by Stephen Pinker. It's not only a fascinating popular science book on its own right, it also describes lots of linguistic research done on children. This will give you a better understanding of how humans acquire language, and help you ease her into acquiring a written language at an early age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for a suggestion for a method to follow, I'm afraid my dad would be qualified to answer it, but not I. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6775" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-11-23T14:37:32.903" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T14:37:32.903" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23019" CreationDate="2015-11-17T17:12:10.220" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apologies for the lateness of this one; didn't have time to finish it last night: When we attempt to couch a difficult discussion like this in order to avoid frightening children or instilling toxic ideas about the world, we try to simplify the topic by removing a lot of the nuance, and ultimately end up with something that's even more effective at instilling toxic ideas about the world than the complicated reality was. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; recommendation, whatever you lean towards saying, is to step back and take a little time to meditate on what that way of framing the discussion suggests about the world and the people in it. I will attempt to practice what I preach. Because the motivations are so complex and varied, I don't think it's particularly useful to explore them unless you think your children can handle doing so with a fair amount of depth/nuance. But, I do think it's still a good opportunity to talk about patterns in how people behave, and lay a foundation they'll be able to use to better understand things like this as they grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it might be nice to start by talking about how we see things differently from each other depending on our own experiences (depending on age, it may be good to help them unpack that our &quot;experience&quot; is a tree watered by things that happen to us, with deep roots in what our parents/family/leaders/friends/society think, what we see in news/movies/books, learn in school, etc.), and how there are almost as many different ways to see the world as there are people in it. It would be great to connect this with how the people involved saw/thought/felt about a recent disagreement in the children's own lives. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have such an example, this is an ideal time to talk out how the involved parties misunderstand why the others behave the way they do, but still respond as if they know what what the other is thinking. And how we usually have a story that justifies why we behaved the way we did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From here, you can talk about how people tend to spend more time with others who see things similarly, and less time with people who see things very differently. You can probably even get them to volunteer some examples of groups like this in their grade at school. Because we see things in a way that feels &quot;right&quot;, given our experiences, it's easy to think the other ways of seeing something are &quot;wrong&quot;. When we don't spend time with people who see things differently, we never learn how their experiences have led them to see things the way they do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, we try to imagine how we could see things the way they do--but because we think they are &lt;em&gt;wrong&lt;/em&gt;, we'll come up with an answer for how we could believe the &lt;em&gt;wrong&lt;/em&gt; thing. Answers like &quot;I must've been lied to&quot;, or &quot;I must have been stupid/ignorant/naive/young/impressionable&quot;, or &quot;I would have to be a bad person to think like that&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This next turn takes us into the rockiest terrain, I think, because we're starting to touch on feelings I suspect kids will have more trouble relating to. I guess a good place to start is with the idea that different people find different types of violence acceptable. Some people's experience has taught them that violence is never the right course of action, that violence is okay in immediate self-defense. That violence against death-row inmates is okay, or that it's okay to do violence for &quot;noble&quot; causes, or to express anger, obtain vengeance, or even just that it's acceptable to use violence to get what you want. This is a &quot;big&quot; point, so I think it's good to make a lot of connections and examples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First I would turn this back on the way our &quot;experience&quot; is influenced by long chains of people influencing each other for thousands of years--our cultural history--and explain that different people in different places find different types of violence more or less acceptable based on that history. If it is age-appropriate, you could frame this in terms of how different countries have developed a different sense of how animals should be treated. You could also approach this from a corporal punishment angle. In some countries, it isn't acceptable to use violence to punish a criminal. In other countries, it's acceptable to use violence to kill criminals convicted of the worst crimes (some countries justify this violence by making it as painless as possible; others still use pretty painful means.) In still other countries, it's acceptable to cut off the hand of someone caught stealing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also try to immediately relate the acceptability of violence back to both the disagreement example (all the better if it involved inappropriate violence), and to the way people group together around what we think. Aside from heat-of-the-moment violence, we usually talk ourselves into the acceptability of the violent act before we commit it, but those we commit it against almost always see it as unjust. While we tend to see the violence other people commit as &quot;wrong&quot; because we don't see how they came to find it acceptable, we see our own violence as justified. I think this is an okay time to talk about war, and explain that people on every side of a war feel they are right, and typically that the others are wrong for trying to do them violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, Paris. I think it's okay to say that we can't really know exactly what experiences led each attacker to do it, nor can we know exactly how they justified it to themselves. We can (and many will) try to come up with reasons, but these will just be people who don't understand the attackers trying to decide what would have to have gone wrong in their own lives for them to do such a &quot;wrong&quot; thing. Some people will think that perhaps believing in the same religion or being from the same part of the world might be enough. Other people will imagine causes like having an extremist teacher of their religion, or outrage over the wars Western countries have fought in the Middle East. Tell them what we know: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A group of people who see the world in a similar way found each other, shut out people who don't see things the same way, and convinced themselves that it was acceptable or even &quot;good&quot; to do violence to others. Tell them that the group of people they belong to &quot;says&quot; why its members do violence to others, but remind them that this is part of the story these people tell themselves in order to justify that violence. That the people who make up the group all have their own reasons, based on their own experiences, for being there. That each of these people ultimately chose to shut out other ways of seeing the world and the people who see it in those ways. That the story they tell about why they do this will be hard to understand unless we try to learn their circumstances and experiences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a good time to explain that some people think we shouldn't try to understand those who do &lt;em&gt;senseless&lt;/em&gt; violence like this. Explain the obvious: all violence looks senseless if you can't understand how it was justified. Tell them that it's important to try to understand how people felt justified in committing violence like this, because some of those reasons might point to things we can fix about the world. Remind them that even if some of those reasons make sense, that doesn't mean the violence is excusable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the future, I think it's good to be honest: something like this will certainly happen again. While I understand the statistics-based approaches some answers suggest, I'm not sure how much statistical reasoning will help at this age. Since that ground has been well-trod, I'll suggest an alternative. Tell them that the chance is very small, but that, if they are still afraid, you can help them come up with some ideas for how they can improve the world in ways that make things like this less likely. The best ways to protect ourselves are to make sure violence isn't the easiest way to get our attention and understanding, and to make sure we don't let people use violence to provoke us into responses which cause even more people to agree with how the attackers see the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19821" LastActivityDate="2015-11-17T17:12:10.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-17T19:04:20.803" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a developmental stage called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.readingrockets.org/reading-topics/phonemic-awareness&quot;&gt;phonemic awareness&lt;/a&gt; that's a precursor to reading.  It's a recognition that words are made of separate sounds, and a skill in manipulating those individual sounds.  Some kids develop it very early, but others don't.  You can test it with your daughter by asking questions like, &quot;If you have 'pat' and take away the 'puh' and add a 'kuh' what do you get?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until your daughter develops phonemic awareness, trying to teach her to read is just going to frustrate both of you.  If she is ready, the other answers have some good tips.  If she isn't, then she will probably be just as happy with activities like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pretending to read.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Repeating after you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Memorizing a favorite book.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Guessing the next word from the context.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Memorizing a few short sight words.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a while, I made it my daughter's job to pronounce the word &quot;the&quot; whenever it appeared in a book I read to her.  She made a great big show of it every time, screwing her face and pretending to sound it out and stumble over it, because she thought that's how you're supposed to read when you're first learning.  It took forever, but she loved it.  There's a lot of middle ground between not reading at all and being a proper reader.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-11-17T19:04:20.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23047" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22492" CreationDate="2015-11-17T19:27:54.140" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;That happened to me when my baby was a newborn, my bedroom was really dark (I hate light) and at nights we used to turn on the lights so my baby thought day was for sleeping and night was for playing. Try to teach him the difference between day and night, maybe that is your problem. I also read that some kids stay more time awake at nights because it is the only time where they can be with their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Another possible cause of a troublesome sleeping pattern may be the parents' schedule. Children quickly learn to adjust their schedules to maximize time with their loved ones. If the mother is absent during part of the day, or present but preoccupied with other concerns (such as getting older children off to school), the baby may decide that this is an excellent time for a nap. More focused attention on the baby during the day may help to change the pattern.&quot; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/nb/nbjanfeb95p14.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.llli.org/nb/nbjanfeb95p14.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19842" LastEditorUserId="19842" LastEditDate="2015-11-19T18:49:27.297" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T18:49:27.297" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23026" CreationDate="2015-11-17T20:18:38.870" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just want to add something to what was said above. I find with 4 years, they understand the difference between &lt;em&gt;commands&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;requests&lt;/em&gt;. I think this is important, and it is important to honor them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you say: 'Stop throwing your cars, now!' it is a command. If he asks why, you can say it might damage the cars, the house, it is not a a good way to play with cars. If he doesn't stop, you can follow up with appropriate discipline or distraction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you say: 'Please stop blowing raspberries' it is a request. And that might be ok, you said you don't want to discipline him over stuff like this. It does mean you have to accept his decision to say 'no'.  &lt;em&gt;If you are unwilling to take no for an answer, then do not phrase it like a request&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there is some value in teaching children about requests, and letting them make their own choices. For things you can live with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option here, is to find some minor options which are not really discipline. Like 'I am tired of your blowing raspberries. If you want to continue, please go to another room. if you wish to stay here, you can't do that'.  (Of course, if he doesn't pick either of those options, you are bound to follow through)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;as for getting mad - I think it is OK to show children you have feelings, but I don't think that it is a good way to discipline or get children to do what you say. If you are naturally a person checking your emotions and being calm, be that person. Don't fake emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2015-11-17T20:18:38.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-17T21:56:21.713" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whichever method you use, a child eager to learn will learn with adult help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I taught my children to read before the internet age. After some research, I settled on a phonics-based method called &quot;Sing, Spell, Read &amp;amp; Write&quot;, which was pricey but very effective. (I bought the least pricey option; it has changed a lot now.) Basically, it taught (in order) the names of all the the letters with their sounds first, with what they supposed was a snappy tune (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXc-_hxRXlo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXc-_hxRXlo&lt;/a&gt;.) This was followed by the short vowel sounds, (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YABl9Sfk2OI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YABl9Sfk2OI&lt;/a&gt; - an incredibly boring video), the exercises at that stage including most common consonant sound combined with the short vowel sounds (&quot;c&quot;+&quot;a&quot; = &quot;ca&quot;. Then add n, t, p, et violà, they can read three words.) At some point after dipthongs and digraphs (like gh, tr, ch, etc.) the kids just took off like little bottle rockets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the sounds would be different in France, and from what I could understand of &lt;em&gt;La méthode Boscher&lt;/em&gt; has readers where words are read aloud, but then deconstructed (&quot;on decouple les mots et on arrive a la syllable et a la lettre&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is similar to the &quot;Dick and Jane&quot; books used to teach American children the whole-word sight method to read (albeit &lt;em&gt;La Petite Poule Rouge&lt;/em&gt; is a &lt;em&gt;whole&lt;/em&gt; lot more interesting!) but going a few steps further. In the US there was a backlash against this method; they were infamously boring books and possibly plagiarized. (See cartoon below. The little boy is in first [6 years old] grade.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the reference below, you'll see they recommend starting with &lt;em&gt;phonemic awareness&lt;/em&gt; (e.g. with &quot;cat&quot; and &quot;cup&quot;, what sound is in the same word?), then teaching &lt;em&gt;phonics&lt;/em&gt; (the sounds letters make), then &lt;em&gt;fluency&lt;/em&gt; (making sure the child is very comfortable and competent in the sounds), followed by &lt;em&gt;vocabulary&lt;/em&gt; and finally &lt;em&gt;text comprehension&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GEG6X.gif&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GEG6X.gif&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;amp;lr=&amp;amp;id=oXG_eWWddpcC&amp;amp;oi=fnd&amp;amp;pg=PR1&amp;amp;dq=most+effective+ways+to+teach+first+graders+to+read&amp;amp;ots=iL9dLVQYVa&amp;amp;sig=_rwixFMX8WhHysAP2yD7XcLtSMU#v=onepage&amp;amp;q=most%20effective%20ways%20to%20teach%20first%20graders%20to%20read&amp;amp;f=false&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Put reading first: The research building blocks for teaching children to read: Kindergarten through grade 3&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote class=&quot;spoiler&quot;&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Since people are telling their reading stories here, I will, too. I have absolutely no idea how I learned to read. All I know is that one day (so I'm told) I was reading the words on a cereal box, whereupon my mother said &quot;Hey! Little anongoodnurse is reading!&quot; This was before I went to school. That just goes to show that where there's a will - I wanted to read, like my older siblings - there's a way, even without parental input.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T00:15:18.957" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T00:15:18.957" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23042" CreationDate="2015-11-18T01:26:07.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you too often tell your daughter what is wrong with her. Stop giving her assessments. It is better to talk to her about what she wants from life, and not about what you want from her daughter. Perhaps you control too much and hence she does not control herself and makes you out of spite. This suppresses it. Imagine that you still control your mother. Would you like it? I think not. Cease to be an overseer, instead be a friend of your daughter. Perhaps this will enable her to be sufficiently motivated and take control of her life in her hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19852" LastEditorUserId="19852" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T23:51:20.060" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T23:51:20.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23019" CreationDate="2015-11-18T02:26:53.923" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For grade-school ages children, I don't think it's actually necessary to fully explain the motivations of the terrorists.  For the younger children, it's enough to say that there are &quot;bad people&quot; in the world who try to hurt other people.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For older kids (junior-high or so depending on their intelligence), you might explain that the terrorists are trying to set up a fight between Islamic people (Muslims) and &quot;us&quot; (the Westerners); most Muslims are just people who want to get along, but the terrorists want to make us hate all the Muslims so that they would have to fight us, (and the terrorists want to be in charge of the Islamic fighters).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only for the oldest kids might you get into the prior history, where the Western nations have not been very nice to Muslims, and have gotten some of them quite mad at us.  Even most of the people we've hurt would rather make peace than fight, but the terrorists would rather hurt us back, so they're trying to push both sides into a war.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19853" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T02:26:53.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23057" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23058" CreationDate="2015-11-18T05:14:44.903" Score="7" ViewCount="646" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have three couple-friends, all with toddlers (12-14 months), who rarely ever involve literacy in their child's lives. As an educator and researcher I know how strong a correlation early reading has with academic life, and I'd like to see my friends children have access to all the opportunities reading has to offer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, every one of the couples spends their entire evening unwinding by zoning out on the couch. I think unwinding is completely deserved of all working adults, but some of that time could be put to good use interacting with books, papers, even mail. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the resources and experience to have the chat, but I'm wondering how to best structure discussion on the subject without making anyone feel targeted. How, as a parent with a legitimate interest in your child's well-being, best like to hear constructive criticism? And how would that discussion be structured?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19761" LastActivityDate="2018-06-12T11:21:57.177" Title="Discussing early literacy tools with parents" Tags="|toddler|education|activities|reading|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23057" CreationDate="2015-11-18T07:23:07.290" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Very, very carefully.&lt;/strong&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, one of the easiest ways of offending friends is criticizing the way they raise their children, even if you mean well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure that you have only the best intentions for these children, but so do they. Or at least I hope so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a parent is challenging in more ways that I would ever had though possible before I had my children. You &lt;em&gt;try&lt;/em&gt; to do everything &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt;, you have probably read a dozen books on the subject during the pregnancy and very likely &lt;em&gt;you know the therory&lt;/em&gt;. Or many of them. (Your child didn't read the memo, so it will likely &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; play by the rules, btw.) Yet after a day of running after a toddler or juggling daycare, work and managing a household, you are simply beat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides, you will be pestered by others who have different ideas about how a child should be raised, from family members to strangers on the street. If you doubt this, simply ask around what people think of sleep training, co-sleeping, breastfeeding and similar topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how to get your message across? I see two ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You work in the field. You could occasionally drop a comment in a conversation about coming across some interesting reasearch on fostering early literacy, ask them for their opinion and experiences and hope that they take the bait. You might learn a few interesting aspects yourself that aren't in the papers you read. Don't pressure it if they don't. &lt;em&gt;Do not make it a discussion about their way of raising their children, do not say &quot;you really should do more...&quot;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;They know that you are a potential source of information and might tap into it at a later time. Don't burn bridges now, be open-minded.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be the role model yourself. Be the example to watch for the child you live with and introduce books to the life of the other ones. Give books you think your friends will enjoy for Christmas and hope that they will find the time to read them so that their child can see it. And please make it light reading, they probably won't have the energy for &quot;big literature&quot; right now.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Be the &quot;uncle&quot; who picks good books or good magazines for the child in question and continue to do so over the years. I had an uncle like that myself and will be eternally grateful to him. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And calm down. Yes, early literacy is a factor on academic success. But not the only one. Love of learning, encouraging curiosity and fostering an atmosphere of &quot;discovering the world&quot; are important as well. Nothing is ultimately decided in the first years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your friends would perhaps benefit more from you babysitting for them (hint: let the children see &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; read if you find the time) than from more information on what they should do. A relaxed parent will do a better &quot;job&quot; and have the strength to do more of the &quot;should do's&quot; we all know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T07:23:07.290" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23042" CreationDate="2015-11-18T08:43:40.080" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am sorry, this is a tough situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people have mentioned the possibility of depression. Now, I am not going to diagnose over the internet, but your daughter is showing some signs of it (not getting up, not being interested in personal hygiene); however, other things you mention, like wearing jeans and sneakers are not a sign of depression and make me think there might be something else going on, at least in addition to depression. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing with depression is, you can't just casually talk someone out of it. If she is depressed, you telling her to dress more nicely and take pride in herself is not going to shake her out of it. A depressive episode makes a person not have pride in themselves. And it's likely what she's hearing isn't &quot;you are awesome, dress like it&quot;, but &quot;you are a slob who can't even manage to dress up to my standards&quot;. I am &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; saying that is what you are saying, I am saying this is what she might be hearing/thinking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dealing with depression sucks. The depressed brain lies to its owner. It's a long way out, and parents, partners and friends are often overwhelmed, and that's not their fault. Some ideas that I have that could gently help her are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;help her get into a daily routine: knock on her door at a certain time, maybe have breakfast ready.  Ask what she's planning to do that day, make note if the weather is nice enough for going outside, or that there's a festival in town she may be interested in, etc. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;talk about what she is good at, what positive things might be in the future for her. I am reading that she hasn't yet finished her degree - talk about what she'd like to do with it, why she chose that sibject&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't bother her about what she is wearing - getting up and dressed is good! Getting out and meeting with friends is also good. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, be honest with yourself on why you are criticising her: Does it come from a place of worrying about her or are you disappointed in her? If you are disappointed, she will pick up on it. If this has been going on for some time, she may have internalized this way of thinking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be good if she saw a doctor/counselor about this. How this works depends on your country, you might for example need a referral from a GP/family doctor. However, suggesting therapy or medical treatment is tricky, because it's easy for the depressed person to hear &quot;you are a problem&quot; instead of &quot;you have a problem, let's solve it!&quot; Also, therapy has to be &lt;em&gt;wanted&lt;/em&gt;, it can't be forced because the patient has to do work. So just saying &quot;talk to someone&quot; isn't going to be the solution. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some good resources on the internet I can recommend:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression/art-20045943&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Supporting a family member or friend&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://captainawkward.com/2014/08/12/613-how-do-i-reach-out-to-my-friends-who-have-depression/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Captain Awkward post in dealing with a friend having depression&lt;/a&gt; (CA usually has an excellent comment section for these issues) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An important note: if this gets too much for you, if you get rejected, if you yourself find the situation too much to deal with: it's not your fault. You are allowed to be sad or angry about this as well. You are also allowed to get help (you have taken a good first step by posting here), in whatever form you need, including talking to a professional. And you are even allowed to say that having your 25 year old daughter at home, not helping in any way (I presume from the other issues you mentioned that she is not doing chores or paying rent) is not acceptable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depression is &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; possibility, based on the limited amount of information in the question. It might be something else. Important questions are, for example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When did she start showing these behaviors? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How does she say she feels? Is she happy with the way she is living her everyday life? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Was there any kind of event that started a break in her routine? Did she fail a class, did her life circumstances change? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T10:11:59.187" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T10:11:59.187" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23060" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-18T08:55:07.927" Score="0" ViewCount="416" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a question for all parents and teachers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a divorced dad and my sons are living with their mother. My problem is that I am not kept up to date on my sons' behavior at school. I do receive a newsletter every week about the school's general information and events. (If the teacher remembers to include 2 newsletters). But additional information such as trips, extra classes etc. I always get after the cut off date. The communication between myself and the mom is not perfect due to various personal reasons. However, I feel that this is not the problem area. I am a very involved dad and would like to become more involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question is basically, how does your school communicate to parents and or vice versa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What have you found to be the best form of communication between the two parties?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19854" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-05T17:13:39.087" LastActivityDate="2018-09-05T17:13:39.087" Title="Communication between Parents and teachers" Tags="|parents|communication|teacher|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23061" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23063" CreationDate="2015-11-18T08:59:33.487" Score="3" ViewCount="421" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a lovely 4,5 year old boy who's learned to be independent in many daily activities (e.g. eating, getting dressed up, taking a shower (supervised)...). Until recently he's generally been acting as mature as the average kid of his age. He's often commended by the teachers and other adults for his behaviour and manners. A year ago we got the second child and he has been nothing but wonderful towards her - he's bringing her toys, entertaining her when she's crying, hugging her daily, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in recent months he realised that we don't use the same criteria on the baby as we do on him - e.g. we don't get angry if she spits her food out or throws a toy, we don't demand that she dresses up herself, we do carry her around sometimes, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, we treat both of them according to their ages, but he's now started asking for us to feed him, dress him up, let him play with baby toys, carry him around like a baby too, etc. When we refuse it, he gets upset and acts up. This is all understandable, but it is tiring when you have to deal with this day after day after day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep explaining to him that he is older now and able to do more things on his own and we also tell him that we had treated him the same when he was one year old, but most of the time it doesn't register with him. Do you have any other suggestions for dealing with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some notes: We are making sure to give both kids equal attention, to spend quality time as a family, but also quality time with him alone. The kids themselves get along perfectly, enjoy each others' company and often laugh a lot, so I don't see any problems there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-25T13:49:49.243" LastActivityDate="2018-04-25T13:49:49.243" Title="How to deal with older sibling taking after the younger - toddler?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|siblings|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23062" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-18T09:06:47.180" Score="1" ViewCount="175" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now 2 years and 3 months. She eats most soft foods, like rice and soup, yogurt or soup that contains small pieces of vegetables. She is swallowing. But if I make the pieces a little bit bigger , she will throw it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, when it comes to solid food, she seems she doesn't know how to chew, chewing is a problem for her, she will try first to lick it and touch it with her tongue, then she will throw it away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried everything even gummy sweets, cakes, or fruits or anything soft. I cut fruits into tiny pieces, but she is still licking it and throwing.&#xA;I don't give her milk at all, but she seems to be starving all day and depending on milk during the night, as she wakes up in the middle of the night asking for milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to show her videos about children chewing and eating, I show her myself eating, we play games during eating, I have tried everything, since she was 1 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help, any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19855" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T11:42:14.563" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T16:17:09.887" Title="problem eating solid food" Tags="|toddler|food|eating|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2016-08-31T16:42:32.350" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23061" CreationDate="2015-11-18T10:00:21.543" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've just encountered this problem with our 4-year old after the birth of his little brother (not two month old yet). He would start complaining about not being able to handle tasks that he was doing fine before the birth of his brother, and basically act as if regressing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our take on this is that his definition of himself is changing, and he doesn't know to cope with that without going back to proven behaviors: acting cute, trying to make us laugh with antics he had grown out of, etc. He is not the little one in the family anymore, but he still tries to act like it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been trying successfully to help him define himself with regards to the family structure. He cannot be the biggest brother (we also have a 6-year old boy) and he cannot be the youngest one anymore, but we try to reassure him about his place:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we acknowledge that he would like things to remain the same (&quot;oh, you would like me to carry you like the baby&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;we then tell him that he is changing, and that things change (&quot;but it is hard, you have grown so much&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and then propose an alternative that we try to keep &quot;special&quot; to him (&quot;but what about a snail hug instead?&quot; or whatever ritual you want to invent and that will be &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that by reframing the kid in regards to what is special between you, you can help him focus on what he can build upon. This helps him understand that the baby also has his special interactions with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, our older doesn't have any problem like that; my wife and I think that this is because his status as the bigger brother cannot be upset. In fact he is more serene since the birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19843" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T10:00:21.543" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23064" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-11-18T12:27:58.667" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Communication is the process by which people convey their ideas, thoughts, feelings and values so as to be understood by others.  Within the scope of Parenting.SE this includes communication between family members of any generation, parents to children, children to parents, parents to in-laws, spouse to spouse, etc.  This tag should be used for asking about how to explain something to another family member or for help in understanding what another family member is saying to you&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/574/does-anyone-recognize-where-the-phrase-dinosaur-on-the-button-comes-from&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; Because sometimes we all &lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/574/does-anyone-recognize-where-the-phrase-dinosaur-on-the-button-comes-from&quot;&gt;need help understanding toddlers&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T12:27:58.667" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T12:27:58.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23065" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-11-18T12:27:58.667" Score="0" Body="The process of expressing ideas, thoughts, feelings and values so as to be understood by others" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T12:27:58.667" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T12:27:58.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23067" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-18T13:30:15.953" Score="1" ViewCount="597" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 3 years old. She has always had a bit of trouble sleeping; she will nap during the daytime because it is sunny out still. But for bed time, as it's dark, she puts the two together and won't sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everything was going well, but she got an ear infection and it all went out the window. She's not been sick for 2-3 weeks now, but it's still hell. Because she doesn't sleep, it makes her dad and me fight (which is obviously a huge stressor for her, which I get.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She won't nap or sleep now. Our routine before was to wake her up at 7:30-8:00, but now I can wake her up at 6, keep her active all day inside and outside, yet she will still fight nonstop. I have a schedule for her but as soon as she catches on, it's over. I have to stick to the schedule throughout the day but even if I do we're at a loss. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if I should see a doctor or what. It does suck because we live in an apartment. When we didn't I would put her in her room when it was time for bed and let her scream and yell by herself but I can't do that with our neighbours. There's got to be something you guys are not saying to get them to sleep, lol. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the past couple of days I finally got her to sleep with the TV on, but that only lasted for two days. I've done the schedule, the reading, the phone, the TV, the sleep animals, the bath, the lavender lotion, the hot milk, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The irritating part of it is that after everything is said and done, she won't let herself relax. As soon as she says she's tired and she feels it, she gets completely restless. For example last night she was so tired, she fell asleep telling me what snack she wanted after hours upon hours of trying to get her to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is any more information needed, please let me know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19861" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-27T15:39:50.967" LastActivityDate="2018-04-27T15:39:50.967" Title="3-year-old has huge problems sleeping (nap or bedtime); won't calm down to relax" Tags="|pre-schooler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23060" CreationDate="2015-11-18T14:58:00.623" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Much of this depends on the teacher. Sometimes they have a policy of how they send out information and won't want to change it. However, many of the one's I've interacted with over the years are also strongly in favor of keeping all parents and guardians informed about progress, behavior, activities, and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The simplest solution is electronic communication.&lt;/strong&gt; An email with information about general class information (field trips, classroom activities, reminders about days off or project due dates) is easy to send to any number of recipients. Our kids' teachers have increasingly come to prefer email instead of paper forms (which are easily lost or damaged in backpacks &lt;em&gt;anyway&lt;/em&gt;), although we still get physical copies of permission slips and report cards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had one teacher who published her general class newsletter on a (secured) blog. This was great for general information (&quot;Now in math we've started learning multiplication!&quot;) but not necessarily urgent updates (&quot;Due to an unavoidable schedule change, tomorrow's class assembly is cancelled&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my spouse and I receive those class emails. Even though we can communicate regularly, it's &lt;em&gt;so much easier&lt;/em&gt; to just say &quot;did you see Mrs Smith's email&quot; instead of first remembering, then reiterating that email. In cases where co-parent communication is limited, having both parents informed separately and simultaneously is even more beneficial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Email is even better in student-specific situation. (I've gotten three since Monday about an ongoing behavior/homework issue, an overdue school library book, and asking for a working set of headphones.) In a co-parenting situation, you can then CC both your ex-spouse and the teacher (for example, &quot;I will buy headphones for Son by Thursday&quot; or &quot;I found that book under my couch&quot;) so everyone's up to date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T14:58:00.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23069" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-18T15:08:04.590" Score="1" ViewCount="710" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering whether it is acceptable to have older kids (I mean girls between 11 and 18 yr old) wear an apron at meals.&#xA;I used to think that by 10 yr old, they would be able to eat perfectly cleanly but it seems that accidents still happen quite often. I don't mean they are doing a full mess of the meal, but still they may often end up with one or two little stains on their clothes.&#xA;When my oldest was like 10 or 11, it was her idea to switch from the traditional child napkin tucked around the neck to a big cooking apron.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19862" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T16:13:06.983" Title="Having older kids wear an apron at meal" Tags="|teen|mealtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23070" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-18T15:40:47.570" Score="4" ViewCount="278" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is in third grade.  He is quite intelligent, and he loves to spend his time reading.  However, this is sometimes a bit of a problem, both at home and at school.  Rather than paying close attention in class, he will apparently sometimes sneak out a book and read it.  At home, he often tries to avoid homework by reading.  (It's not always easy to recognize whether he's read what he's supposed to for his assignment and needs to move on to answering questions about it in his workbook.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His teacher is aware of the problem, but she cannot keep a constant eye on him, to make sure he's on task.  If she catches him with his nose in a book when he should be completing something else, she will try to redirect him, and we do the same thing at home.  However, there is no way to eliminate books from his environment.  Our house is full of books, and I think it would definitely send the wrong message if we took them all away from him (if that were even possible).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'm trying to figure out what is an appropriate way to impress on my son that some times he needs to be doing work, rather than reading for pleasure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T03:41:32.023" Title="How should I deal with a third-grader who gets distracted from his work by reading?" Tags="|primary-schooler|reading|homework|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23069" CreationDate="2015-11-18T15:49:25.900" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it's the kid's idea to wear an apron at the table, then there's no reason why not.  Moreover, if your oldest initiated the practice herself, then younger children may naturally follow suit.  However, at some point, any child is going to bridle at an imposed restriction like this.  (When a sixteen-year-old has a friend over for dinner, are they going to be willing to wear an apron at the table?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If an older child objects, feeling that wearing something to keep their clothes from getting stained is infantilizing, I would not try to force it on them.  Older children need to assert their independence, and they should be allowed a measure of personal responsibility.  If you are worried about a teenager making a mess of their clothes, make the teen do their own laundry; a few times scrubbing out stains can convince them pretty quickly to be more careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastEditorUserId="13162" LastEditDate="2015-11-18T16:13:06.983" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T16:13:06.983" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-18T15:49:49.807" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest started &quot;reading&quot; at two years and one month old. She was in the supermarket with her mother, and asked (translated to English, but it was in Hebrew) &quot;What is Sa-Aa-La-Eh&quot; when she saw a sign that read &quot;SALE&quot;. So it is definitely possible for children that age to read, for a generous definition of &quot;reading&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember that I would always say the sounds that letters make when she came across letters at a young age. &lt;strong&gt;I wouldn't same the name of the letter, but rather its sound.&lt;/strong&gt; For instance, if there was a letter M on the milk carton I would point at it and say &quot;Mmmm&quot; &lt;strong&gt;without expecting nor even encouraging her to do the same&lt;/strong&gt;. I just made sure that she saw &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; doing it. Children learn by copying, so I always tried (and still try) to give her something to copy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching by example, without expressing expectations, works wonders with small children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T15:49:49.807" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-18T16:19:26.973" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are now at the point where our daughter can read letters, and she can tell the first letter of word I tell her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How we got here: A lot of montessori-like activities with letters, things like this &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/quYZT.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/quYZT.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;letter puzzle&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or just cards with big uppercase print letters and images of things beginning with a said letter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She didn't know it's letters, it was just 'this is R as in Rabbit'. And we didn't force her, we just put the cards or puzzle into her shelf, played a few sample games as long as she enjoyed it, and let her take her time (months :)) till she found the activity naturally interesting (see &lt;strong&gt;montessori and sensitive periods&lt;/strong&gt;) and picked it up and wanted us to play it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then there was drawing, and when she got a bit confident with crayons and whiteboard felt pen, we tried drawing letters time to time, and at some time she caught up with it and started to want more. So now she can read letters, write letters, and recently she realized (from books maybe?) that those groups of letters mean words. And recently it was huge fun to write a shopping list (letter by letter onto several A4 and A3 papers :)) and go to shop, read the list, decipher it with hur help and buy the items :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But we still have a chasm to cross - a realization that consecutive letter sounds make a word sound. It is fun, we go out and I tell 'this is L, A, M, P' and then I say it faster and faster, but there is still a point where I stop pronouncing individual letters and say a word, and only the she recognizes it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It won't help to rush this, I know that she develops quickly, and at a right time she'll get this - but it would be a lot of pain to try to force her prematurely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, we'll keep playing this and other games as long as she finds it fun, and she'll take the step when her head is ready :).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7748" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T16:19:26.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23033" CreationDate="2015-11-18T16:48:57.317" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work with a number of groups ranging from say 6 to 16 and they are Chinese kids (I'm in China) so their English is fairly basic. Also they wouldn't be familiar with the western &quot;real world individuals&quot; that you mentioned. Though it sounds like a great idea. I guess I should first educate myself on eastern &quot;real world individuals&quot; that Chinese people would relate to. I'd appreciate any materials or content that you have to share.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19865" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T16:48:57.317" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23075" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23076" CreationDate="2015-11-18T17:48:11.880" Score="6" ViewCount="4027" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are expecting our first baby very soon.  However, I am a heavy sleeper and I am worried that I will not wake up to cries from the baby.  Do people generally become lighter sleepers with the knowledge that they have a little one to care for during the night?  I am really hoping that I will be able to beat my wife to the crib sometimes so that she doesn't feel guilty when she prods me awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16872" LastActivityDate="2019-11-24T10:30:13.787" Title="Will I become a lighter sleeper after my child is born?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23075" CreationDate="2015-11-18T18:49:03.033" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not possible to say whether &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; will be a lighter sleeper after your child is born; that's entirely up to your brain chemistry and lots of other variables.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also don't think that there is one 'generally' here.  I became a harder sleeper, my wife became a lighter sleeper, for example.  Anecdotally, most of the new mothers I've known became lighter sleepers, and among fathers it's more mixed; perhaps due to the differences in biology, perhaps just small sample size, I'm not sure.  Looking around, I don't see any studies (though I don't have access to PubMed, maybe @Anongoodnurse or someone else can find some there), but I see lots of anecdotal evidence like &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.care.com/q/questions/37211/why-didnt-my-husband-become-a-light-sleeper-when-o.html&quot;&gt;this page&lt;/a&gt; supporting my experience - moms become lighter sleepers, dads not as often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean you can't be helpful, though, even if you do have a harder time waking up when the baby wakes up.  You can do more of the bedtime routine, for example, allowing your wife some time to relax (or to go to bed earlier).  You can wake up earlier so you're the one waking up with the baby in the morning (that's me, for example). There're plenty of ways to deal with your overall problem if you don't turn into a lighter sleeper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T18:49:03.033" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23075" CreationDate="2015-11-18T19:55:00.207" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also don't know what studies on the subject, if any, have found. But surely there is variation between people, so you'll see for yourself what ends up happening to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a very heavy sleeper, and my wife isn't. After our first birth, and again after our second, my sleep gradually became lighter as a result of getting used to waking up (with the help of my wife, who was still a lighter sleeper than I).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to help this process is to have the baby sleep with you in your bed or in an extension of your bed - on your side. Be sure, though, that your sleep is not so heavy that you might roll over the baby without waking up!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is to have you sleep for set periods of time (say, every other day) in the same room with the baby, while your wife sleeps in a different room, and make it clear that it is only your responsibility to take care of the baby and feed her - your wife sleeps straight tonight, and she's not going to come to your aid. With responsibility comes lighter sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, when the baby reaches the stage of crying her throat out because of gas, both you and your wife are going to be awake together anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a great birthing and parenting experience!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19856" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T19:55:00.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23075" CreationDate="2015-11-18T21:28:56.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a reputation among those who have lived in a house with me over the years for being able to sleep anywhere, anytime and through anything. That hasn't changed, but my son crying wakes me up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might be the same, you might be different,  it really is an experience that nothing and no one can fully prepare you for, but one thing I can say is this. The fact that you're thinking about this sort of thing tells me you're going to do just fine as a husband and father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, and enjoy your little bundle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14933" LastActivityDate="2015-11-18T21:28:56.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23060" CreationDate="2015-11-19T06:59:24.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a past life, I was chairman of my children's school's School Site Council. The way we communicated with parents was &lt;em&gt;through the children&lt;/em&gt; in the form of handouts and occasionally mailers to the registered address.  We never really considered the living arrangements of the individual children; some lived with their grandparents, others with foster-parents, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of that is to say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to become &lt;em&gt;informed&lt;/em&gt; is to become &lt;em&gt;involved&lt;/em&gt;,  &lt;strong&gt;deeply involved&lt;/strong&gt;.   Become a fixture at that school. Develop relationships with the faculty. Volunteer to do anything that needs to be done, and you will suddenly find yourself in the know.  It takes a lot of energy, but in the end its really worth it, and everyone benefits, especially your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3145" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-19T08:06:41.723" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T08:06:41.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23083" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23067" CreationDate="2015-11-19T08:56:29.693" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We tried, as you have, experimenting with a lot of different things to see what works, but then after a few nights, it stops working and you try something else. It's only natural for those with a scientific mind to go through hypotheses of what might work, and trial and error, but we found that it's actually counterproductive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing that worked like magic for us is to have &lt;strong&gt;pick a routine&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;stick to it&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't matter too much what your routine is, but it should be thought out in terms of something that you are willing and able to do each and every night&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes some time, but eventually your kid will learn to associate and expect that sleep comes at the end of the routine.  Here's ours, as an example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bath (every other night)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;PJs&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brush teeth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put on sleep sack and sit in parent's lap&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read 2 books (taken from one end of the book basket, put back in the other end so we rotate through all the books and it's not a battle about which one we're going to read)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Goodnight kiss, put kid in bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Turn off the light and close the curtains&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Say &quot;goodnight, I love you, see you in the morning&quot; - our cue phrase that it's time to go to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Close the door&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there's crying, we go in after 10 or 15 min to check and offer water, diaper change (she's still in diapers), pain reliever medicine if sick or teething. We also live in an apartment, and haven't received any complaints about crying. I think your neighbors should understand that the adjustment is temporary and will in the end lead to less crying overall. Now, for example, 90% of the time, this routine works beautifully and our daughter goes to sleep on her own at the end without any tears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T08:56:29.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23084" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23087" CreationDate="2015-11-19T10:09:58.133" Score="4" ViewCount="348" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 5 (nearly 6) and approaching the end of Kindergarten. She brings home three books to read every day for a week from school (new ones every week).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today she said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;No I don't want to read that one. It's too hard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were slightly more words on the page (8 lines of text vs the 4 she normally reads). It seems to be an 'attitude'/'confidence' type of issue.  Just wanting to stretch to the next level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now maybe there is some underlying issue. I can talk to her and find out more about her feelings and try to tackle those. Where I want to get to is enthusiasm and confidence. Whilst I can be supportive, I don't want to set a pattern of emotionally dependent behaviour. I want her to be enthusiastic about the challenge of reading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;How do I instil confidence when my child (aged 5 nearly 6) declines to read a book as 'too hard' when sent home from school as homework?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T14:37:07.997" Title="How do I instil confidence when my child (aged 5 nearly 6) declines to read a book as 'too hard' when sent home from school as homework?" Tags="|behavior|school|reading|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23085" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-19T10:43:55.447" Score="2" ViewCount="665" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has just turned 4, is at pre-school, and has told me this morning that one and a half plus one and a half equals three. We haven't taught him maths apart from counting, and I don't think they would have at his play-based nursery. This seems pretty advanced to me, is it, or am I just wanting to see him as particularly brainy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19873" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2015-11-20T09:59:17.897" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T22:11:33.847" Title="How do I tell if my child is advanced at maths?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23067" CreationDate="2015-11-19T10:55:38.603" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;here's my suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't like the dark, put a little night light in her room, not too bright to keep her awake but light enough that she won't be scared in the dark.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she's awake in the day and happy, say you want to talk to her about something. Explain that everyone needs sleep, and why. Say you are worried that she's not getting enough sleep, and ask her how you can help her sleep. If she says she doesn't know, ask her to think about what would help. Then do what she suggests, as long as it's within reason, or compromise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other thing is bribery. If there's something she really likes, for instance chocolate. Don't give her any during the day, but say that if she sleeps through she can have a small amount in the morning. It may take a few days for this to work, but she should get it and do it in the end, as long as you don't give in, and don't give her the treat unless she sleeps properly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19873" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T10:55:38.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23084" CreationDate="2015-11-19T12:45:10.200" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the immediate problem:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Have you tried just covering half the lines with a piece of paper? It may really just be the 8 line looking horribly much, and if she can see that it really just is 4 lines, and then another 4 lines, just as before, it may help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Segmenting big problems into small ones can be a challenge eve for an adult, so imagine how hard it must be for her!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T12:45:10.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22317" CreationDate="2015-11-19T15:57:11.013" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you need to remind your husband that your stepson is a human being.  And try as we might, we can't always get other humans to make the choices we want them to.  We can teach, advise and persuade until we are blue in the face, but ultimately your stepson's decision on how to act is his to make.  What he decides to do is not necessarily an indicator that your husband is a bad parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As humans we tend to seek validation for our actions in the results they produce.  We feel proud of ourselves when we can see that the work we did paid off.  I think we have all felt the satisfaction of seeing practice and hard work pay off, of practicing and seeing results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As parents, we look to our children as the &quot;results&quot; that validate that what we are doing is right.  For better or worse, your husband isn't the only person influencing your stepson.  Your stepson gets influenced by his dad, his mom, any siblings, his friends, his school mates, his own personality, his values and beliefs, media and a whole host of other things.  Unlike practicing a piano where one person's effort directly affects the results, people are a complicated mix of hundreds of battling influences.  Since your husband isn't the only influence in play here, he can't be held solely responsible for his son's successes or his failures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, reassure your husband that holding children accountable is not wrong.  It is the only way they learn responsibility.  No one has become a successful, hard working, responsible adult without learning that actions have consequences.  Your husband was trying to teach that important lesson.  Your stepson found it easier to bail out on learning something hard, but worthwhile.  That doesn't make your husband a bad parent.  In fact, he should be commended for trying to make your stepson a better person despite all the opposition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your husband is probably also battling feelings of &quot;what more could I have done for my son?&quot;.  The fact that he has those feelings shows he is a loving, concerned parent.  That, in part, makes him a good parent.  Bad parents don't care.  Good parents worry.  I'm sure he will think up a million things that he could have done different.  But just like his stepson, we are all learning.  Experience is a teacher where she gives you the test first and the lesson afterwards.  As long as your husband uses this experience to learn, he not only shows he is trying to be a good parent now, but also that he wants to be even better in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, your husband is learning a hard lesson here.  That is that sometimes we can see those we love making mistakes that we can easily see.  We just want to drop our brain into their heads so they can just see what we see.  And it is hard to watch loved ones screw up.  It's real hard.  But the lesson we have to learn is that sometimes people need to make their own mistakes.  And it never gets any easier watching it happen again.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as your husband is always there for his son and is the best parent he can be, your stepson will see that.  Maybe not in the near future, but he will remember later in life who was there for him, who was trying to help him.  And hopefully that will turn your husband into a trusted friend of your stepson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T15:57:11.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23070" CreationDate="2015-11-19T16:15:02.580" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What Dave said is very accurate. The problem in this situation, or what it sounds like, is that your son is refusing to follow along with the rules set out for him which is a perfectly acceptable thing to put restrictions around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're having the discussion about &quot;over reading&quot; make sure you have a clear distinction between the behavior of not doing what he is told and his love of reading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a single fifth grade student with this issue, she would often read during math lessons, but would truly find any time during the day or week to read. For her I set out very clear expectations of when reading time was and wasn't. I let her know that I loved her love of reading and found it to be great way to engage discussions with her, but that it was very disrespectful to be &quot;ignoring&quot; the teacher and that she might be distracting those around her. Our expectations were set around the following.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Follow along with the class while we take notes on other subjects&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Answer your reading questions, don't just try and explain them as I pass by picking up lit HW. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For now, you can only read during reading time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then we set up some rewards, which would have to be tailored at home or to the school. Make sure that some rewards are easily accessible at first, so that the immediate trade-off of following along is met with a slightly delayed positive response (Reading at dinner once a week, an extra trip to the library, a choose your own book purchase, a parent/son reading segment. Whatever you think can best motivate him). Her and I used,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can read once a week during lunchtime as long as you eat your meal&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You may read during brain breaks (15 minute break time)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can assign your own current event article once a month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This whole talk was followed with another reminder that I cared about her love of reading, but that her not following the rules was setting an unfair example  the other students. And, because of the second fact, I would have no problem limiting her access to books in our classroom or even taking a book from her for her mother to pick up (more like a cell phone).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest you set similar guidelines. Also, where is he getting the books in class? I'd suggest a guideline could be not sending him to school with a book, or that he has to surrender it to the teacher upon arrival so that she is more in charge of when that reading happens. At home, make sure the guidelines are doubly set, that his school work comes before reading just as anything &quot;for pleasure&quot; comes after your other children school work. Sometimes, especially at first, you'll have to follow through and take a book(s) away from him. But, and I am beating a dead horse here, in that moment of punishment deeply emphasize &lt;strong&gt;that this is not about reading&lt;/strong&gt; it is about following along with the expectations at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19761" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T16:15:02.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23084" CreationDate="2015-11-19T19:39:57.560" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind, it is &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholarworks.wmich.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2203&amp;amp;context=reading_horizons&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;very difficult&lt;/a&gt; for a teacher to match up an appropriate level of reading difficulty to a particular child, even with specialized training.  There's at least some chance this is more than a confidence issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any rate, make sure to validate her feelings, not minimize or dispel them.  Say something like, &quot;You're right, this book does look pretty hard, but your teacher assigned it for homework, so that must mean she thinks you're starting to read well enough to read hard books.  I think so too.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-11-19T19:39:57.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23075" CreationDate="2015-11-20T02:29:22.873" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boyfriend was a very heavy sleeper and I moved a lot in my sleep. When our daughter was born I admit we slept with her (reason being I was breast feeding, not a good excuse I am aware of now) and for me as soon as either one of them moved I was awake and he become a lighter sleeper as well. Even now (she is 3 now) when she's in her own bed/own room I can hear her instantly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interesting example is when you three are in the store and your on the other end, your going to hear her cry and you will know its yours and no one else's. Its cute really.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19861" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T02:29:22.873" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23085" CreationDate="2015-11-20T09:24:35.493" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One often-overlooked thing about modern society is that even very young children are tangentially exposed to advanced intellectual concepts &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; earlier than they used to be, because people discuss them more; from TV shows like Sesame Street to Nursery, there's an expectation of knowledge at an earlier age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/23085/gifted-or-normal#comment45577_23085&quot;&gt;As Erik says in a comment&lt;/a&gt;, the first thing to work out is whether he's just been told this one fact, or whether he's actually grasped that this is an extensible concept. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/23085/gifted-or-normal#comment45592_23085&quot;&gt;From your comment&lt;/a&gt;, it sounds like it's the second of these. That's not necessarily &quot;wunderkind&quot;-style Gifted (depending on the environment you create, he may be used to listening for and remembering facts), but it's still &lt;em&gt;really good&lt;/em&gt; that he's proud of knowing things and wants to discuss them with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you'd like to encourage him in Maths (and who doesn't want to encourage their child?), you could demonstrate some of these concepts physically (e.g. Take three biscuits, break one in half, get him to count the number of biscuits seperately and together. Then eat the biscuits.), to let him &lt;em&gt;see&lt;/em&gt; how that arbitrary fact he's proud of relates to something real, which he can then play with and extend. &lt;a href=&quot;http://v.cx/2010/04/feynman-brazil-education&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;This is something teaching often overlooks&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T09:24:35.493" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-20T13:25:11.370" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's definitely possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I myself learned reading at 4 or 5 pretty much on my own. According to my mother, I just started pointing out words and letters in my books asking for the pronounciation, and so gradually learned to read without any active participation from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure whether that's the best way, and 2.5 may be a bit early, but it indicates that her expressing the wish to learn reading is a very encouraging factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1939" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T13:25:11.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23097" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-20T13:37:11.587" Score="5" ViewCount="213" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is almost one year old. He's growing fast and there are a lot of behaviors in life that I'd like to help him avoid, while still giving him the knowledge of what these behaviors are. I'm worried that, as he grows and starts to mimic the people around him, he'll start to develop behaviors that I view as negative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want him to be nice, patient and to know what to follow and what not. For example, I want him to know that cursing is a bad thing so that, even if he listens to his elders saying those words, he doesn't adopt that behavior himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age (or development milestone) would it be best to start engaging in serious discussions with him about the way the world works?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19897" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-02T22:57:51.037" LastActivityDate="2018-07-04T20:44:33.747" Title="When to teach a child about what is good and bad about the world so they don't adopt bad habits?" Tags="|development|education|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23099" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-20T14:00:42.490" Score="25" ViewCount="8247" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 23 years old and I have a sister that is very soon turning 17. She lives with my parents and I live abroad for a couple of years now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother noticed that my sister started smoking around 1 year ago and has been asking for my advice on how to convince my sister to quit smoking. We both had separate conversations with her on the topic and explained all the downsides of smoking. Didn't seem to work much.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that my sister smoking reached a peak point recently, when my sister went to a high school trip over the weekend with some of her classmates. The head teacher that was with them caught her smoking and forced my sister to call my mother and tell her that she has been caught smoking, while the teacher was next to her. So my mother called me and asked what could she do about it (she seemed very worried and out of ideas) when my sister gets back home. I suggested that she should try a different approach and ask my sister about how to deal with the situation. The idea was to see if she recognises that it's not the best thing that she can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What other concrete actions can I or my mother take towards convincing my sister to stop smoking? As I understand, my mother believes that my sister will listen more to me than to her (she's in that rebellious teenager period), so that's why she's asking for my help. Also, she believes the fact that I've just been a teenager should help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of points:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My mother didn't have to deal with this problem while raising me, since I never found smoking interesting and didn't even try it once.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My sister's high school is the same I went to. Roughly 70% of the teenagers smoke, unfortunately. It's being perceived as a cool thing to do. There's a lot of smoking in the school breaks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the country where she lives smoking is allowed in bars, pubs, restaurants, clubs. So she is exposed to people smoking and has easy access to cigarettes. Even though selling cigarettes to younger than 18 years olds is illegal, nobody respects that.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My father is not home very much and we try to keep him out of this, since we believe he won't approach this in an adequate way. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I have read &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3403/how-do-you-respond-to-a-teenager-who-has-started-to-smoke/&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6980/what-should-my-collgeaue-do-to-stop-her-20-year-old-son-from-smoking&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/smoking.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt;. If you have any other suggestions, please let me know.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19708" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2020-04-21T14:54:45.757" Title="Ways to convince a teenager to quit smoking" Tags="|behavior|teen|addiction|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23100" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23102" CreationDate="2015-11-20T15:06:00.173" Score="7" ViewCount="1301" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 4.5 yrs old and she is studying in kindergarten (KG). Like most kids, she isn't very  interested in studying, and we are only able to complete her homework by taking a tough stand. While all the time we are thinking that is normal for all kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But sometimes we think she is too young for handling this much school work (when we were her age we only started going to school). Most of her classmates are older, a few are almost one year. We now think about keeping her next year in the same KG (not promote to 1st class)  by making a request to the  school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we do this, or should we allow her to get on to the next class, even if she gets bad/average grades and hope she will improve next year? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are in the India/New Delhi region.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for talking with her teacher, We meet at PTM at intervals. Her teacher always talk positively and tell us she is doing satisfactory, if not good. Sometimes her teacher mention some issues like less attention in class, but still the teacher believes that she should be with other students too, and tells us to do more work with her and study/home work at home.        &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11655" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-11-20T19:36:26.857" LastActivityDate="2022-01-18T18:34:11.967" Title="Should I keep my kid in her current class next year too?" Tags="|pre-schooler|school|homework|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23099" CreationDate="2015-11-20T15:19:51.317" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started smoking at 17 because a girl I had a huge crush on smoked so it gave me an excuse to hang out with her. What would it have taken for her to convince me? I dunno. That girl saying no and a developing interest in a non-smoker? Yeah, I know, teenagers can be shallow and stupid. At least I can be honest about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It didn't help that I was already fairly financially self-sufficient (school plus a full-time job) so my parents couldn't bribe me. I will say this - punishment would not have worked. Quite the opposite. I did have a friend's parents get him to quit by matching the money he saved not-smoking. But if she's smoking to fit in with a certain crowd, the odds are stacked against you until she finishes school and that social circle becomes less relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T15:19:51.317" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23100" CreationDate="2015-11-20T16:03:14.590" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say that the other children are mostly older, up to a year older.  I assume that means that your daughter is basically a year ahead of where children normally are, right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both from personal experience and from some studies on the matter, I would recommend that in &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; cases, even very smart or gifted children see benefits from going to school at the normal pace, not ahead.  Not every child is the same, but if your daughter is not &lt;em&gt;ahead&lt;/em&gt; of the other kids in her grade right now, it sounds like she might be better off waiting and getting into the class when she's of a like age to the other children in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The disadvantages to starting early are that even if she keeps up academically, she will be less physically and emotionally developed than her classmates.  This means she'll be less able to keep up in sports (because she's younger and smaller), but also less able to keep up in the social world (because she's less emotionally developed).  For some children this may not be a particular problem - my four year old is heightwise equivalent to a five year old anyway, so he'd probably keep up fine physically - but from my experience (starting a grade early) it can be difficult being the shortest child in the class, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; not understanding why it's hard to make friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Research does support advancing &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; gifted children, particularly if they're in an environment with &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; very gifted children.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://education.jhu.edu/PD/newhorizons/Exceptional%20Learners/Gifted%20Learners/Articles%20-%20Gifted%20Learners/acceleration_question.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Johns Hopkins&lt;/a&gt; recommends skipping children with measured IQ of 130+, for example; that seems reasonable to me.  It does require the strong support of the parents, the school, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; the child, and should only be done if the child feels comfortable in the higher grade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the opposite side, many educators &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/14/against-accelerating-the-gifted-child/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;believe it's never a good idea&lt;/a&gt; because it makes it harder for the child emotionally and physically, in particular hitting middle school and high school early during the difficult time of adolescence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, I would recommend having a discussion with your child's teachers, and finding out what they think; and perhaps getting some input from others in your life who may have had similar situations and know your daughter well enough to form opinions themselves.  My personal feelings are to avoid skipping grades most of the time, due to my own experience; but as each child is different, you should look for professional advice tailored to your daughter's specific needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="16946" LastEditDate="2022-01-18T18:34:11.967" LastActivityDate="2022-01-18T18:34:11.967" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23099" CreationDate="2015-11-20T16:28:51.213" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You said that you had a conversation with her. Do you know why she smokes? Does she smoke only with friends or at home too? Is it to be &quot;cool&quot; or because she is stressed or maybe something else? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be try to know why she is smoking. You will need a different approach based on whether it's to be cool or if it's because she is stressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I agree with JPhi1618's comment, it must be her choice; punishment won't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19412" LastEditorUserId="19920" LastEditDate="2015-11-22T12:15:21.350" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T12:15:21.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23099" CreationDate="2015-11-20T21:19:10.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many times it seems as though smoking is done for stress management, or for appearance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Appearance&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everybody else is doing it. She finds one (or more) friend she likes, and her friend goes outside and they continue bonding as.. her friend smokes. The friend offers her one, and worried how it would look if she denied it, she accepts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that fitting in is something that people generally &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt;. The depression and social bullying that can take place when one doesn't fit in is certainly nothing to laugh at. She probably views it as harmless. &lt;em&gt;In her view&lt;/em&gt; those long-term effects won't touch her, because she can smoke and fit in now, and then quit when she wants too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stress Management&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For whatever reason, she used it once or twice. Now, if there's stress, she wants to smoke. It's her body's way of dealing with the stress. She feels like she &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; it to deal with the stress. Nothing else will work and, in some cases, the simple act of &lt;em&gt;not smoking&lt;/em&gt; can cause even more stress in situations where she may not want the nicotine withdrawal affecting her attitude and mentality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have known some smokers who continue to smoke because they fear what they'd be like without it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, you need to discover &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she smokes and then work on showing why those views are false, or, work on overcoming the difficulties of actually quitting. You'll notice that the general way to prevent smoking is by &quot;talking to them&quot;. This is because understanding their troubles and knowing why they'd want to smoke in the first place is what allows you to advise them on ways that concern can be handled in a more healthy manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On &lt;em&gt;appearance&lt;/em&gt;, you'd probably have to argue whether she really needs to smoke to fit in. She can still hang out with her friends, though second-hand smoke is still a problem its not as bad as smoking yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On &lt;em&gt;stress management&lt;/em&gt;, you'd have to work on quitting smoking in a step-by-step manner until its proven she really doesn't need it to handle stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a teenager, there is a third reason she could be doing it. For &lt;em&gt;rebelling&lt;/em&gt; purposes. Accepting it is her choice and her life may help if this is a reason for her, though it is challenging to let someone do something you see as hurting themselves, it may be the only way they decide to stop for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In whatever solution you choose, she has to want it too. Using extra motivations (&lt;em&gt;money, privileges, etc&lt;/em&gt;) will help, but won't be successful unless she really has buy-in in wanting to quit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11426" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T21:19:10.647" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23099" CreationDate="2015-11-20T21:46:14.243" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may be country-dependent (I'm German), but my experience is that smoking is largely considered to be uncool among (educated) twenty-somethings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe your sister can't wait to get older (to finish high school, to go to university, etc.). If that's the case, since you are 23, you are in a good position to convince her that, in the environment she aspires to belong to, smoking isn't cool at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I think you should treat her like an adult. Give her the feeling that you trust her to make her own decisions (even if you secretly doubt that), and argue rationally. She knows a single cigarette doesn't do much harm, so no use pretending otherwise and making a big deal out of the high school trip. Instead focus on the risk (also monetary!) of addiction (nobody finds that cool). Don't show her how concerned you are about her having smoked a couple of times, but how proud you would be if she manages to not make it a habit despite the peer pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user17024" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T21:46:14.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23099" CreationDate="2015-11-20T22:11:12.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At this point, I think the only way to convince a teenager to quit smoking is financial.  As chilling as they are, PSA's showing some &quot;nameless unfortunate old guy&quot; are just not going to have an impact.  Old age is a &lt;em&gt;looong&lt;/em&gt; way off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By financial, I mean your Mother should require that your sister purchase her own cigarettes &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; all of the other teenage &quot;necessities&quot;.  When she has to choose between a new iPhone or a pack of smokes, there is a good chance that the phone will win.&#xA;I also think your Mother has legitimate cause to cut off her allowance, if she receives one.  Why should your Mom enable your sister to continue this behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19904" LastActivityDate="2015-11-20T22:11:12.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23099" CreationDate="2015-11-21T01:12:07.497" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Different kids need to hear different messages. Many of the tactics, stratagems, and talking points that work on younger kids or non-smokers simply will not work if you are dealing with an older teen who already smokes (e.g. kissing a smoker is like kissing an ashtray). Some of what I'm about to suggest may actually be counterproductive for a non-smoker to hear.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It boils down to this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the short term: smoking doesn't &lt;em&gt;seem&lt;/em&gt; very harmful and there are a variety of benefits (social belonging, de-stress, pleasant, appetite management).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;BUT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the long term: smoking is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;incredibly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; harmful.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure she already knows that, but you or your mother need to have a talk with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Part 1 - Figure Out The Appeal&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encourage her to talk through some of her thoughts and feelings. What is the appeal for her? While discussing, don't deny her feelings and experiences. If she says she likes the taste, don't tell her nobody could possibly like the taste. If she says it calms her down, don't deny it. Smoking is a hell of a way to meet people, especially important during a time when hormones are racing. The shared ritual in the smokepit is the ultimate icebreaker. Figure out which qualities are important to her before proceeding. This helps you build trust and anticipate challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Part 2 - The Big Picture&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is where you lay out the facts: long-term smoking is incredibly damaging to health in a wide variety of ways. Even if she already knows (or professes to know), don't skip this step entirely. Smoking has profound affects on each of the following: hair, skin, taste/tongue, teeth, voice, athletic performance, COPD, cancer, etc. Don't take a deterministic view (i.e. don't say smoking &lt;em&gt;will absolutely&lt;/em&gt; give you cancer); any given smoker will probably not experience diminution in &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of those areas, but pretty much every smoker will be affected in &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; of those ways. Teenagers have a wonderful ability to engage in &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;magical thinking&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;; the point of this step is to strip away the idea that &lt;em&gt;it can't happen to me&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Part 3 - Addiction&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By this point, she'll probably admit that she doesn't intend to smoke forever, it's just something she's doing now that she'll probably quit later. Truth bomb: quitting smoking is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;crazy hard&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; because it is both psychologically comforting and &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;chemically addictive&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. The longer you smoke, the harder it is to stop. Ask her if she feels stress relief when she smokes. If she has, ask her if she thinks that is because smoking is genuinely stress relieving or if she is merely satisfying a chemical craving. &lt;em&gt;Let her be honest.&lt;/em&gt; If she hasn't experienced cravings yet, tell her that's good news because it may be easier to quit. The point is to get her to conclude for herself that quitting is difficult and that she is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;becoming pysiologicically addicted&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; regardless of her intentions. If she denies this, you may have to go into more depth with testimonials or stories from people she knows (maybe even her own friends who are already struggling with quitting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Part 4 - The Next Steps&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully she's now ready to accept the fact that she &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; quit, but this is where you encourage her to &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;quit now&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; (again: the longer you wait, the harder it is). In light of all the things discussed in part 1, ask her what kind of replacement behaviors and habits she'll need to develop to compensate. In light of part 3, ask her what kind of strategies she can use to combat the chemical side of addiction. Let her know that even with replacements, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;it will be hard.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; There are many different strategies and tools, all of which work for differently for different people. The key is to recognize that a variety of strategies should be employed and she should be willing to swap out techniques that are not working. Tell her she can &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;ask for support&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, then &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;support her&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; when she asks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Good luck in your efforts to help her, and good luck to her in her effort to kick the habit.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19484" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T01:12:07.497" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23070" CreationDate="2015-11-21T03:41:32.023" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember in third grade, we were often given an exercise to look up words in the dictionary - practicing alphabetizing. I was always slowest... because I would get distracted by reading the dictionary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If school is so boring or unchallenging that the kid reads to escape, then they are wasting the kid's time when he could be learning something. I'm not sure it's a great idea to make the kid experience school as a boring frustrating place where he's not allowed to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were my kid, I'd make a deal: First, pay enough attention to learn everything in class, as shown by grades on quizzes (e.g. over 90% or even 95%) and ability to answer the teacher's questions when asked. Second, class is for learning, and any book read in class should be useful. (My wife, who's a teacher, says for a 3rd grader any book at their reading level is useful!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For homework, have conversations about work habits and whether it's better to interrupt work with fun or get it over with. Again, if the work is sheer repetitive drudgery with no intellectual reward whatsoever, then maybe it's worth escaping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fourth grade, we had self-paced workbooks for all the subjects. We were intended to take about a month per workbook. I found spelling so easy that I was doing several per week, and not spending enough time on other subjects. They pointed out the problem and made a deal with me that I should hold it down to one spelling workbook per week. I saw their point, thought this was quite reasonable, and was happy to comply. If they had tried to limit me to one a month I would have been very frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Richard Feynman's high school physics teacher, seeing he was not challenged by the class, gave him a calculus book to read in class and said he wasn't allowed to speak up in class till he had understood it. Writing about it later, Feynman was glad that this had happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: Figure out a plan that respects your goals and his goals (if you want to accommodate the teacher's goals, at least one of you should actually value those goals). Discuss the plan with him. Make sure your plan accommodates his desire to learn and achieve. You will probably find that clear discussion of goals and purposes will lead to an agreement he will be happy to follow - and you may find that that agreement includes some reading in class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19908" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T03:41:32.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23111" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23116" CreationDate="2015-11-21T04:41:49.660" Score="5" ViewCount="600" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apologies for the vague title, but I wasn't sure how exactly to put the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 11-year-old sister refuses to read properly. (I am out of the house, but my parents discuss the problem with me frequently and are not aware of this forum.) She seems to &lt;i&gt;like&lt;/i&gt; the idea of reading: she carries books out of the house with her (perhaps because I always did too), holds them open at appropriate times, and has ready answers to questions like &quot;what's your favorite book [character]?&quot; However, she almost certainly doesn't actually read the books. The answers to questions like that always pertain to books she has been &quot;casually reading&quot; for weeks and she  cannot answer more in-depth questions about them. If books are assigned for school and there are questions to answer about the reading, she will answer them as directly from the text as possible. Based on the age recommendations on the backs of the books she has around (or online), she isn't being asked to read anything at all above her age level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, this past summer I was asked to help her with an assignment on &lt;i&gt;Number the Stars&lt;/i&gt; by Lois Lowry. I was at home and monitored her reading each night until she finished the book. The first part of the assignment asked for a brief summary of the book, but when I asked her to describe &quot;what happens in the book&quot; to me, she gave a list of events: Annemarie and her friend have a race, then they run into soldiers, then they go home, then Annemarie's mother is made nervous by the encounter, etc. I had to use extremely leading questions to get her to arrive at any kind of plot, and she was essentially lost for the rest of the assignment, which concerned theme and character development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same problem arises in speech and other written language. She likes computer games and YouTube videos (the kind that star tween girls of mid- to high-production value and look sponsored by some kind of media enterprise), but if a story is involved, she cannot recount that story. She speaks very fast, but repeats herself, uses filler words excessively, and is frequently irrelevant. She will laugh at things other people say (that aren't jokes), but when asked what she thought was funny, she either can't or won't explain. Placing hard limits on TV/computer time haven't improved these areas. (My parents ensure that she finishes her homework no matter what.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister was in a dual-language program where most of the students, like her, do not speak English at home and have overall very slightly worse English scores than the kids in the other classes at the same school. Though I went to entirely-English schools, I find it unlikely that this was a problem, as her friends/classmates seem to be fine readers and even speak more fluently than she does. Now that she is in middle school, her new teachers aren't cutting her any slack for being in the dual-language program (although I didn't think they were supposed to anyway) and she's falling behind even more. She has never been tested for a disability; however, the teachers of her small elementary school class have never recommended that. She seems to be fine at math and socialization.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19910" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T18:54:02.633" Title="How do I get an 11-year-old to engage in active language comprehension?" Tags="|discipline|education|reading|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23111" CreationDate="2015-11-21T12:31:23.180" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe she can't process the information. &lt;em&gt;Language Processing Disorders&lt;/em&gt; refers to heard information, &lt;em&gt;Reading Disability&lt;/em&gt; refers to problems with written language. About 20% of the US population may have some symptoms of a reading disability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's okay with heard information, but struggling with written information, she may have a reading disability.  The most common and well known reading disability is &lt;em&gt;dyslexia&lt;/em&gt;, but there are a range of different disorders. A lot of information will focus on dyslexia and people often use dyslexia when talking about all reading disabilities. Make sure that the tests you ask for cover more than just dyslexia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a government source giving some information about &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/reading/conditioninfo/pages/disorders.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;different types of reading disability&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The above site gives information about what's involved in diagnosis a reading disability, and some information about further sources of support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to remember that there are sources of support, and things you can do to help her, and that this is not a sign of low intelligence or laziness.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Reading-disorder.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;One of the signs of a reading disorder is that the child's reading ability is lower than their general intelligence would suggest&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Language Processing Disorder&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Students with this disorder have difficulty reading, spelling,&#xA;  writing, or even speaking; basically anything having to do with&#xA;  language becomes very difficult for them. There are other skills that&#xA;  are needed to deal with auditory information, and are affected by LPD.&#xA;  These skills include:  attention, memory, following directions,&#xA;  learning and hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reading Disability&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Symptoms can include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Problems sounding out words&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Difficulty recognizing known words&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Poor spelling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Slow reading&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Problems reading out loud with correct expression&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Problems understanding what was just read&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T12:31:23.180" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22530" CreationDate="2015-11-21T12:57:38.443" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One possibility is a &lt;em&gt;Language Processing Disorder&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child with a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lsses.org/resources/teacher-consultant-blog/language-processing-disorders-lpd/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;language processing disorder may have problems&lt;/a&gt; with:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;following multi-step directions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;paying attention in noisy environments such as classrooms, loud parties, malls, etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;following spoken directions&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;rhyming, spelling, reading, writing (many kids have difficulty with written expression, finding it difficult to formulate thoughts in their head, and then somehow get them down on paper)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;understanding and participating in conversations with peers and adults&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;vocabulary and sentence structure&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things to do are &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have the child's hearing checked by a competent qualified specialist.  Mention that you suspect a language processing disorder before that check starts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have the child assessed for a language processing disorder. Make sure they're not just checking for dyslexia.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If the assessment does find a language processing disorder you should create an educational plan that includes additional a support for the child's needs, and short, easy-to-understand information about the child's needs and diagnosis for all teachers who have to deal with the child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-21T15:59:53.617" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T15:59:53.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22562" CreationDate="2015-11-21T13:13:52.400" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some cultures practice infant ear piercing. It's common to pierce the ears of infants in the Latino community for example.  But this would be both ears, and it's usually just girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hindus pierce a single ear, and they pierce the ears of both boys and girls.  This can be performed as early as the 10th or 12th day after birth, but is often delayed until the 6th or 7th month. This practice is called &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sanskritimagazine.com/rituals_and_practices/ear-piercing-in-hinduism/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Karnvedh Sanskar&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;. But Hindus would pierce the right ear of boys and the left ear of girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it seems your friends are just following something they've always done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastEditorDisplayName="user19912" LastEditDate="2015-11-21T16:27:13.080" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T16:27:13.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23084" CreationDate="2015-11-21T14:37:07.997" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest reading the book &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; her, several times. While you're reading, follow the words with your finger, so she can follow along. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few readings, suggest that she be the &quot;finger-mover,&quot; while you continue to read the words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she's comfortable with that, get her to start reading it, but tell her you'll fill in any words she can't get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the time she's read it through a few more times, she should be getting most, if not all of it, on her own. If she's still struggling a lot, that could be an indication that the book actually is beyond her reading level. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**Note that this shouldn't all be done in one sitting (unless she's game for that), but should be spread out over the course of hours or even days (if you have that much time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T14:37:07.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23111" CreationDate="2015-11-21T17:39:42.867" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Different people read for different reasons, and have different levels of talent at the formal analysis aspects of it.  I think your sister enjoys it as an escapist activity, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She doesn't necessarily have a disorder either.  Kids develop at different rates, and she probably just got a little behind at some point, which in today's standards-driven, test-based curriculum is sometimes very hard to come back from.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nor do I think it's a matter of refusal to do it.  She probably just doesn't know how.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing you can do is avoid holding the questions until the very end.  Good readers are constantly, although usually subconsciously, reevaluating questions about plot, theme, and character development.   Readers who are struggling with comprehension need to be taught this consciously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So ask the same kinds of questions you were asking at the end, except ask them after every chapter.  Add questions about changes, like, &quot;Do you still think Sarah is mean?  Why not?  What made her change?&quot;  She will soon be able to do this naturally on her own.  Good teachers used to do with books they read aloud in class.  I don't know if they have time for it anymore.  Parents can do this for books they read aloud to their kids in the summer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastEditorUserId="644" LastEditDate="2015-11-21T18:54:02.633" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T18:54:02.633" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5909" CreationDate="2015-11-21T18:48:33.713" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This will work for a bit older baby, but the earlier it is begun and the speed and consistency with which it is enforced will determine how long this behavior modification method takes to extinguish this irritating behavior.&#xA;When the baby shrieks, IMMEDIATELY firmly squeeze his leg or his shoulder to get his attention. MAKE EYE CONTACT and with a very stern face and voice, use his name and say &quot;NO, Aiden.&quot; Don't yell and absolutely don't smile. When he stops shrieking, let go of his shoulder or leg but maintain the stern face which shows him that you don't approve of the behavior. Every time he shrieks, promptly respond. When he has not shrieked for a &quot;long time&quot; (which depends on how often he's been doing it), reward him with smiles and tells him how proud you are that he's such a &quot;big boy&quot; (or some such simple language. If you're consistent, he'll get it and your household will be much more calm and peaceful and everyone's nerves will be less rattled!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19917" LastActivityDate="2015-11-21T18:48:33.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-21T22:07:20.047" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Others have suggested starting with the alphabet, drawing and sounding each letter. Here are some fun ways to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Sesame Street&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3esfp.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3esfp.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The television show &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesame_Street&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sesame Street&lt;/a&gt; is aimed at such young children. Every episode playfully works in letters of the alphabet, numbers, and early reading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Originally Sesame Street was designed for a target age of 4 years old. After finding many younger kids watching, &lt;strong&gt;they lowered the target to 3 years old&lt;/strong&gt;. See Wikipedia on &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Format_of_Sesame_Street&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Format of Sesame Street&lt;/a&gt;. So apparently a bright 2.5 year old is not too young to begin the learning process for reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many years ago I remember seeing Sesame Street in French in the eastern US, probably near Québec. Perhaps it was &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesame_Park&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sesame Park&lt;/a&gt;, in French and English, by the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CBC_Television&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;CBC&lt;/a&gt;. Or maybe &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5,_Rue_S%C3%A9same&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Rue, Sesame&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/France_5&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;France 5&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps these can be streamed or otherwise sourced. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similar shows are common now in America in English. Perhaps in French as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Alphabet Games&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One way to keep it fun and light rather than a chore is to make games with the alphabet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make letters from food, such as dough, spaghetti, or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Make-Playdough-Play-doh/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;homemade play-dough&lt;/a&gt;. Make &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/cinnamon-twists&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;cinnamon twists&lt;/a&gt; into letters, bake and eat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play in the mud, treating the ground and sticks as chalkboard and chalk. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use your body to make letters. Make up song-and-dance. Or Sing and dance the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y.M.C.A._(song)&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;YMCA song&lt;/a&gt; by the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Village_People&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Village People&lt;/a&gt;. The adult innuendo will fly over their heads, while the tune is much fun. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sfTdfv_MoA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;These kids&lt;/a&gt; are not quite doing it right (where's the &quot;C&quot;?), but you get the idea. May not translate to French, though. :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Children’s Hour at the Library&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check with your local libraries for activities for children. Many have fun events around reading such as story-telling and puppet shows. I have even seen a live rock band for kids at a library! You might find activities to build her reading skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12046" LastEditorUserId="12046" LastEditDate="2015-11-23T20:54:09.080" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T20:54:09.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23099" CreationDate="2015-11-22T04:20:28.153" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Harris (2011) suggests&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[a]n ad campaign designed to get across the idea that the promotion of&#xA;  smoking is a plot against teenagers by adults — by the fat cats of the&#xA;  tobacco industry. Show a covey of sleazy tobacco executives cackling&#xA;  gleefully each time a teenager buys a pack of cigarettes. Show them&#xA;  dreaming up ads designed to sell their products to the gullible teen —&#xA;  ads depicting smoking as cool and smokers as sexy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This philosophy was pushed &lt;a href=&quot;http://content.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1967782,00.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;to an extreme&lt;/a&gt; by the Non-Smokers' Rights Association in France.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found some evidence from &lt;a href=&quot;http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/pdf/10.2105/AJPH.92.6.901&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Farrelly et al&lt;/a&gt;. (2012) that approaches of this sort work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus, my suggestion is that you frame things in terms of smoking constituting gullible support for exploitative corporations. This would work particularly well if your sister is left-leaning, as most teenage girls are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Farrelly, M. C., Healton, C. G., Davis, K. C., Messeri, P., Hersey, J. C., &amp;amp; Haviland, M. L. (2002). Getting to the truth: evaluating national tobacco countermarketing campaigns. American Journal of Public Health, 92(6), 901-907&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Harris, J. R. (2011). The nurture assumption: Why children turn out the way they do. Simon and Schuster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19922" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T04:20:28.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23120" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23037" CreationDate="2015-11-22T04:41:04.183" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not only possible, but can be done pretty reliably.  There are two aspects to reading: there is deciphering the sounds that compose a word, and recognizing what that word is.  These aren't the same thing.  The more regular a languages' spelling is, the easier it is to teach deciphering and let the child generalize through experience.  But if the spelling rules are too numerous or irregular, a child can learn to recognize words by overall shape (helped out by knowledge of what the letters are): the &quot;look-say&quot; method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister, brother, son, daughter, and myself all learned to read very early (starting at ~2) in English by beginning with the look-say method in conjunction with learning letters.  With my son and daughter, we started with wooden tiles (that we made ourselves) with a word on one side and a picture on the other.  That was accessible at an age where rules like &quot;a final e is silent but makes the previous vowel say its name (except for words like cafe and wrasse)&quot; are too abstract to grasp.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure why there is such controversy about look-say vs. phonetics for teaching English.  English spelling is ridiculous, at least for the most common words.  You need to throw everything at it at once if the child is to learn early.  I am not sure about the situation with French, but if you can fairly reliably teach 2-year-olds to read English, I can't imagine French is worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because I do not speak French I can't recommend particular books (the Ladybird Key Words books are decent--the idea is great, but they are a little dull to motivate some children).  But a strategy of reading while pointing to words, having the child recognize a few words while reading, using flash cards, teaching her the names of the letters and, when it's consistent, the sounds they represent, and then moving to syllables with consistent spelling, and so on, ought to work if the interest is there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="314" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T04:41:04.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23121" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-22T13:34:37.040" Score="0" ViewCount="1510" Body="&lt;p&gt;What are the advantages or disadvantages of piercing a child's ears? The question is for children of any age (under 18), so say in your answer what age you're talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T15:41:14.477" Title="What are the pros and cons of piercing a child's ears?" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2019-06-05T15:56:44.267" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23121" CreationDate="2015-11-22T13:36:33.467" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Against:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is no medical reason to pierce your infant's ears.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The infant is not able to give consent, and may be too young to give assent.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ear piercing is painful.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pierced ears carry a risk of infection. In very rare situations that infection could kill the child. Mostly the infection would be treated with antibiotics, which also carry some risk of harm.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;For very young infants: the piercing jewelry can come loose.  The infant can inhale the loose jewelry, or swallow it. There's a risk of injury from either.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pierced ears carry a risk of tearing earlobes if the infant falls. (For example, when learning to walk).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There are not always controls over cleanliness or skill of ear piercing businesses.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;For:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some people claim the pain is forgotton. (Although there's nothing to support that.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some people have cultural, religious, reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are going to pierce your infant's ears you should wait until the child can care for the piercing themselves with out help.  If you need to do it earlier you should wait until the child has had all their tetanus shots.  If you need to do it even earlier you should wait at least two weeks after the first tetanus shot.  No one recommends piercing the ears earlier than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T13:36:33.467" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22110" CreationDate="2015-11-22T13:54:55.707" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/Media-and-Children.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Association of Pediatricians recommend&lt;/a&gt; that children under 2 years old have zero screen time, and that children over 2 have only have 1 or 2 hours per day of quality screen time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quality is partly subjective. Some things you may want to look out for are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Positive behaviour.  Children sometimes copy poor behaviour. There is lots of anecdote about children &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mommyish.com/2013/07/31/parents-hate-caillou/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;copying poor behaviour&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Diversity and equality.  It's good to show confidant women, caring men, and so on.  Characters with disabilities give you the chance to talk about those with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Age appropriate.  Sometimes you want your child to be learning things and to be challenged by what they watch.  Sometimes you just want them to relax and watch something fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Production Values. It's important for children to be able to hear what the characters are saying.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) You might want to avoid advertising.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of programming aimed at children, and most of it is terrible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T13:54:55.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23124" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23126" CreationDate="2015-11-22T13:55:08.977" Score="5" ViewCount="1197" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1-year-old son likes his mom a lot. He never wants to leave her side and this is kind of a problem for her and sort of for me. She has to do domestic work but he doesn't like to stay with me. It's like a stranger holding someone else's baby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I get him to like me as much as he likes his mom? For example play with me, be comfortable even more around me,... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19897" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-03T14:06:48.100" LastActivityDate="2018-09-03T14:06:48.100" Title="How to get my 1-year-old child to like me?" Tags="|infant|relationships|attachment|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23124" CreationDate="2015-11-22T17:41:36.977" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From experience with our first 2-year old:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The parent with less time has to simply put in more time to build the relationship with the kid. Gotta differentiate yourself from moms, make yourself fun and interesting in other ways. This is a pure marketing job.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mom has to help by constantly verbally convincing the kid that it's awesome and safe and whatever other good stuff works, to hang out with dad, too. That dad can also change diapers, play with toys, read books for bed, etc. This actually lowers mom's own workload, so benefits are doubled. There's a lengthy period of time where the kid believes every single word the primary caregiver says, so using this is a big step forward towards building an independent relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared for it taking however long it takes. Keep in mind the moms has about a 2-year relationship building head start (9 mo belly time, 1+ year of nursing etc). There's no schedule and no way to artificially rush building a relationship, other than advancing it day by day. It's a marathon, not a sprint, and whatever happens at first, dad's unique skills become relevant sooner or later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6716" LastActivityDate="2015-11-22T17:41:36.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23099" CreationDate="2015-11-23T01:11:50.140" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;To help this young woman, clearly in trouble with a lethal and expensive drug, you need to consider both addiction and the cycle of change (google and read about this helpful generic approach to behaviour management).&#xA;1. Looking at the cycle of change: you're at step 1 - you need to get the woman thinking about change (then, after that, helping her to decide she wants to change).  To get this woman thinking about quitting, you probably need a relationship with her friends - chances are she's doing this to 'look cool' (largely because it's flipping the bird at authority), so if her friends are all a positive audience for smoking your intervention is probably going to fail.&#xA;2. Addiction - if this woman gets to the point of deciding that she wants to quit (quite a long way down the cycle of change from now), you need to consider the fact that she is almost certainly, after a year, addicted.  Quitting is going to be hard work and she'll need some support, maybe even want some help from a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19779" LastEditorUserId="19779" LastEditDate="2015-11-23T02:41:28.057" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T02:41:28.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23124" CreationDate="2015-11-23T11:11:18.217" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's easy for this kind of dynamic to happen when you have one parent at home all the time and another at work, or one parent travels. It's also pretty easy to solve, it's just a matter of spending time one on one with your child, without your spouse around. If your spouse is there it will be too easy for your child to depend on her. So give her a couple hours off each weekend to get out of the house while you play with him and read to him. Use TV as a tactical tool to occupy him for short times, giving you breaks when you need it, but try not to rely on it if you can avoid it as it won't help you build a relationship.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even better, take your son out and do things with him. These don't have to be complicated or special, in fact they can be simple errands, but you will be spending time with him and he'll recognize that. My son liked (and still does) going to the store with me, he thought riding in the card was great fun. Go on a bus or train ride, most kids love that sort of thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, get involved with taking care of your kid if you aren't already. Change diapers and clothes, feed him, read him a story and put him to bed. It's not just doing things with him on the weekends, it's also the day to day interactions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastEditorUserId="3019" LastEditDate="2015-11-23T12:59:31.967" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T12:59:31.967" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23121" CreationDate="2015-11-23T15:41:14.477" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Leopold Sparks has covered the cons very well, so I'll just add to the pro side, based on my experience of getting my ears pierced at age 7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A little boost to low self-esteem and self-image issues, as I felt so&#xA;pretty and girlie.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A sense of social acceptance among classmates who also had pierced ears.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A sense of personal responsibility and learning how to care for my own physical health by being in charge of keeping the area&#xA;disinfected myself (under supervision).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learning how to endure physical pain when it was a necessary evil for something I wanted.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For the following few years, birthday presents were very easy for friends and relatives, as I was always delighted to get new earrings.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19315" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T15:41:14.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23124" CreationDate="2015-11-23T18:34:10.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am sorry to tell you but it is going to get worse before it gets better. I have three kids (8, 5 and 3). Here is the deal. Three year old's are the worst, and the period between 2 and 4 is one of the most challenging you will face (outside of teenage years which I am not close to and can't comment on).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are not the dominant caregiving parent (meaning, not around the child 24 hours a day), then I'd like to reiterate what the posts above have said. Whether you are being accepted by the child or not, by being a presence in its life, and available (when you are around them) will go a long way towards building a relationship with them. Keep trying even if the rejection is constant, they will give in eventually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, be silly. Kids love it when you are silly, and let's face it, we can all take ourselves a bit too seriously at times. Being Silly kills two birds with one stone, and should be applied generously. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19401" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T18:34:10.037" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23136" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-23T19:19:41.027" Score="10" ViewCount="2810" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a Muslim, and so is my husband. Our 8 year old son is refusing to learn how to offer namaz and does not offer prayers either, and in his school, he has been slapped and beaten by teachers for questioning the righteousness of God. (In my country, which is Pakistan, it is common for boys to be beaten to motivate them to learn, this happens in every school with the exclusion of international ones, which are extremely expensive.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, he came back home with half of his face completely red. When I asked him what happened, he told me that his teacher slapped him hard for asking &quot;Why is God so hungry for praise?&quot; and although this doesn't sound too much cruel in English, in Urdu, it was said in a very harsh and informal manner, which was &quot;Khuda itna bhuka kiyun hai tarifen or namaz key liye?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He keeps doing these things often, and I am afraid that one day, he will get us in a very bad situation. I do not want the scholar at school or anybody to say that we should kill him, which is becoming more and more possible. (In Pakistan, there is a law set by the government that anybody, of any age, will be hanged for speaking vilely against God.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cannot ask anybody for help in this case, the answer will very surely be &quot;Beat the blasphemy out of him!&quot; and I do not want that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way I can make my son realize that there is a God, or if not, then &lt;strong&gt;how can I teach my son not to say things like these in front of anybody ever again and just listen? (We have already tried telling him nicely, but he never acts accordingly.)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19943" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-12-07T07:06:48.770" LastActivityDate="2016-12-07T07:06:48.770" Title="How to stop my 8 year old son from doubting and/or speaking against the existence of God?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|development|middle-childhood|religion|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="15" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2015-11-24T00:57:06.303" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23136" CreationDate="2015-11-23T22:22:03.113" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Explain it to him as it is, in such abusive environment where they rip the childhood out of the children you have no choice but to be honest as the damage has already been done.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should explain to him that he might get executed and those whom he love might get hanged, if he is smart enough to ask questions about Allah then he is smart enough to figure out that he has to protect those whom he love &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home the best thing you can do is to allow him to ask these questions, he has all the right to do so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish could you give a better advice but the only other advice I can think of is &quot;get the hell out of there&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-11-23T22:27:57.157" LastActivityDate="2015-11-23T22:27:57.157" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2736" CreationDate="2015-11-24T02:10:24.010" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give them a reason to like it. Tie it into subjects they do like. If he hates writing, but loves insects, ask him to write to a science magazine to cover it. But explain that he needs to use proper grammar and spelling to make sure the company reads the letter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19768" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T02:10:24.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8211" CreationDate="2015-11-24T02:25:51.360" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Find the subject he likes, and get books that are similar to his interests. The important thing is that the books catch his interest and make him want to read. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Slowly ease him from graphic novels to real books. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read to him, but stop in the middle of suspenseful parts. This will make him want to read. It's cruel, but it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19768" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T02:25:51.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23085" CreationDate="2015-11-24T02:26:31.253" Score="4" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;See if he displays unusual pattern recognition skills (you can consult an expert on child development, or age-appropriate IQ tests, to see what the baseline should be, and try to challenge the child with tests raising to next levels from baseline).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Offer him logic puzzles. Old Martin Gardner books are a very good source, although some may be a bit beyond even gifted child at 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you're testing for is two-fold: both the ability, &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; interest. Typically, being gifted in math and having IQ correllates with enjoying and being interested in logic puzzles, and finding patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask him how he arrived at an answer. Better math skills usually manifest as being able to explain your solution process, vs. rote memorization.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask him different types of math challenges and try to teach him other concepts. Does he understand more complex decimal fractions than halves? Multiplication? Division? How fast (if at all) does he grasp the ideas if he doesn't know them yet?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some good resources, though many seem more focused on older age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://tip.duke.edu/node/809&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;Testing Your Gifted Child: A Springboard for Effective Advocacy&quot; from Duke TIP&quot;&lt;/a&gt; - this lists both approaches, AND age-appropriate tests that can be administered. Some tests are possible for 4YO&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Creativity, Giftedness, and Talent Development in Mathematics&quot; By Bharath Sriraman. Parts are available on Google Books&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10514.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10514.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastEditorUserId="604" LastEditDate="2015-11-24T02:33:38.410" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T02:33:38.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23141" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-24T03:55:34.980" Score="9" ViewCount="568" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 3 children so they outnumber us. Part of our bedtime routine involves book time. Once upon a time, this meant Mr. Dad reads to one kid and Mrs. Mom reads to the other. That's not really an option anymore, so now we try to read one book to both of them. The problem is that one kid is 4.5 years old and the other is 2.5 (and had a slight speech delay). So, while one kid wants to read all the words on the page (and has the books memorized, so he knows if I'm short-changing him), the other wants to excitedly point out different objects in the illustrations and then turn the page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, does anyone have a strategy for reading one book to two children of different levels at the same time? We are willing to invest in specific books if they would be more conducive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Changing the bedtime routine at this point in our lives would be too difficult, so we are stuck with what works for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17521" LastActivityDate="2015-11-25T18:01:29.213" Title="How to read one book to two children on different levels at the same time" Tags="|bedtime|siblings|reading|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23141" CreationDate="2015-11-24T04:21:19.177" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I might be approaching this as a programmer, but have you tried making the older sibling read to the younger one first? The best way to cement something is to teach it, after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13165" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T04:21:19.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23075" CreationDate="2015-11-24T04:41:13.757" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have three kids. When I wake up in the morning, I ask my wife if I missed anything between the time I fell asleep and the time my four alarm clocks go off to wake me up. Sometimes, I wake up to find a child who made his way into our bed sometime during the night. No, my sleep did not get any lighter with kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I have an easier time staying up late (and a harder time falling asleep), so whenever our kids woke up / wake up &quot;earlier&quot; in the night (say, before 1:30 a.m.), I take care of it and my wife can go to bed / stay in bed. (The flip-side of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/23076/17521&quot;&gt;what Joe said&lt;/a&gt;.) If you are giving bottles, you can be even more useful at these times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line, if you don't become a lighter sleeper, you'll find some other way to pick up some slack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17521" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T04:41:13.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23141" CreationDate="2015-11-24T14:01:33.543" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I do with my younger kids (who are, admittedly, a bit older than yours) is to sent one child to the bathroom to wash, brush teeth etc., and meanwhile read to the other, then switch roles. I have explained the older one that, if he goes first, we are open-ended while reading, because his sibling can already go to bed when we read longer, and because he can stay up longer. That made him happily accept the role of the first one to got to the bathroom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a father of many I have to divide my attention between a lot of kids. The kids love the trading as a time of undivided attention and try hard to not endanger it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kids are younger and probably cannot do the night time bathroom routine themselves, but since there's two of you, one could take care of the kid(s) in the bathroom and the other could read. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2015-11-24T17:35:45.873" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T17:35:45.873" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23141" CreationDate="2015-11-24T17:31:09.727" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4 and 2.5 year old, also, and sometimes have the same problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The younger child enjoys 'fact' books (picture books about trucks/dinosaurs/whatever - no plot, just either pictures of things or pictures with some text describing the thing), and the older one is still able to enjoy those; so much of our reading are those books.  The older one tells the younger one what the pictures are, which is nice sibling cooperation (even though not &quot;reading&quot;), while I moderate and point out some specifics that the older one might not know.  I make sure to mix in things that the younger one is interested with the older one.  Even fairly &quot;old&quot; fact books, like some of the larger DK encyclopedia type books, are still able to interest the younger one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We often will read the younger ones' books first, like the above, and then have him go to bed while we read the older one a proper story (Mouse and the Motorcycle currently!).  Some days he'll be happy to go to bed while we go to the other room and read, while some days he'll prefer us to read the story to the older one while he's present (even if it's not too interesting for him, he wants the attention).  We do whichever he wants, so long as he doesn't distract too much from the story.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, particularly on days we expect more trouble (days with no nap, for example, or too late of a nap), we might read some during the end of playtime - say bedtime is 8, then read a longer story to the older one at 7:45.  Then normal bedtime routine, except only reading younger-appropriate books like above after PJs and brushing teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T17:31:09.727" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23141" CreationDate="2015-11-24T21:21:41.033" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would strongly recommend that you not shy away from reading to both of them at the same time.  The camaraderie that is built, as you work through, with both of them, to negotiate what you will do with each book - it is priceless.  You could let each kid pick a book (or two or three), and then read both books to both of them, all three of you together, but making it clear which book is whose, so that kid gets to &quot;drive&quot; a bit more with his book, but the other still is there, listening and learning.  This will teach them that being together and cooperating and sharing (their books and your time) is more important than just getting through the routine or checking off &quot;reading&quot; on the list of activities.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I have done this with my kids and we often read all together.  At first it was each kid (and I have four) picking one or two books, Dr. Seuss kind of stuff, and we would read through them.  As they grew older, we graduated to books like Andrew Clements' (author of lots of really good books accessible to younger kids but fun for older kids and adults) and the Chronicles of Narnia and Watership Down and The Ranger's Apprentice series.  Sometimes, they have not liked what I want to read with them - one of them might complain about it being boring - but in the end you can just see the positive effect it has, as the family bonds are strengthened.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;My oldest is now in college, but we talk almost every day, and my second is a junior in High School, but he recently told me I was his best friend, and I replied, in all honesty, that he was mine.  They interact very well with each other and care for each other.  That sort of bond is built on every little moment where you work through the differences and learn to enjoy each other.  You could even point that out to your kids, talk with them about how they like to read differently and how they can enjoy each other's style as a break from their own, and they can also enjoy the wonder of seeing their sibling's uniqueness.  It is pretty cool how each of us is unique and different, and kids can learn to see that as a positive, joyful thing.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I do have &quot;dates&quot; with my children, times when I take one of them and we go out for breakfast or lunch or shopping or catch a football game.  But much more of the time, we value doing things together as a family, over separating into smaller groups.  I come from a group oriented culture (first 16 years of my life), and I could count on one hand the number of times I had alone with my dad.  I then lived for 18 years in the more individual oriented American culture, followed by back and forth between different cultures and the US for the last 15 years.  I see value in both, but feel that the best balance gives preference to group times, with only occasional (once a week?) individual times with each kid.  For daily routines like this, I'd definitely favor the group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-11-25T18:01:29.213" LastActivityDate="2015-11-25T18:01:29.213" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23042" CreationDate="2015-11-24T22:10:36.157" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your question, I assume that your daughter is emotionally and mentally capable of attending school and/or working. I also infer from the question that she's never left home, has never had a job, and still acts like a teenager.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my inferences are correct, the issue may be that she has never emotionally matured because she never has had to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution will require you to take some bold steps, so I need to give you some powerful reasons to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You won't be around forever to care for her.  Eventually, she'll have to fend for herself.  The longer she goes without having to care for herself, the harder it will be when you pass.  Some of the saddest people I've met are the fifty-somethings who have never left home, never taken care of themselves, and are suddenly thrust into adulthood quite unprepared.  I had a neighbor who was so unprepared to care for himself that he committed suicide after his father died.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Living like Peter Pan (e.g. never growing up) robs her of dignity, self-respect, self-confidence, and self-reliance.  It is hurting her!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she never leaves home, never holds a job, and never goes to school, she may never find someone with which to share her life.  Even if she met the perfect person, dependence is quite unattractive. In fact, dependence attracts dependence.  I have a cousin, who never left home, who married a woman exactly like himself.  It didn't end well and caused great harm and pain to the family.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As long as she lives as a dependent, she will never achieve her full potential.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what is the solution?  Gently push the bird out of the nest.  This is like surgery.  It will cause pain now, to create healing later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell her that she now has to pay rent to live with you.  Keep the amount small and reasonable (say $100 a month at first.) If she doesn't, she will have to move.  Write down the amount, date due, and the details on a paper, and both of you sign.  Then, if she does not pay, evict her.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once she gets used to paying rent, let her know that she has a limited amount of time to live with you.  Let her know that going to school will allow her to stay longer, as long as her grades are good.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help her dream.  Talk about the joys of living on her own.  Have her envision her future.  Set goals together, and show her how to meet them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach her the skills she's going to need on her own.  Help her budget (Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University is a good tool for this.)  Teach her to cook and clean (if she doesn't know already.)  Make her do the shopping.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Help her to save for her security deposit on an apartment by matching what she saves.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Never confuse enabling with helping.  She is not going to like doing a lot of this at first.  She may cry, accuse, beg, or yell.  If your intent is to help her, she has to learn to live on her own and fly.  As time progresses, she will feel better about herself and her newfound independence.  Remember, nobody ever builds a muscle unless they use it, and sometimes building muscles causes us to be sore.  Don't go weak on her, because you would be doing her a great injustice.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, other posters suggested the issue may be linked to depression.  While depression could be a contributing factor, inactivity and purposelessness contributes to the depression.  If you suspect depression, get her some help, and give her the dignity she deserves..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6246" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T22:10:36.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23085" CreationDate="2015-11-24T22:11:33.847" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suppose the reason you want to know if your son has mathematical talent is to decide if you should invest into additional math education. If that is the case, I would just assume he has some talent and make the investment anyway as it will pay off in the future. Many high-paid professions today require some knowledge of advanced math or at least advanced math provides a foundation that enables one to achieve more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a son who is currently 16 years old. He is a senior at the Brigham Young University majoring in applied math on two academic scholarships. He consistently scores at the top of his class on tests, and is in the top ranks in math competitions. I taught him from an early age, but he never exhibited what I would consider natural brilliance - I found many of his peers grasping the same material quicker than he was when I had a chance to present it to them. At the age of 10 he was evaluated to see if he had some natural talent with a special aptitude test and failed to make the &quot;gifted&quot; kid bar. How did we get this &quot;untalented&quot; kid to perform so well?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do know know if there is one magic bullet that did it, but I'll share with you several points that I consider to be a contributing factor:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We home schooled from the very beginning and thus had the opportunity to influence the development of our children more directly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I knew enough math to teach him all the way to Calculus III.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We were consistent and creative. Math discussions during trips and dinner. Rewards for solving a math problem. One time I made him derive a formula for the volume of the sphere while we were running - he had to integrate in his head. Another time he had to take a simple integral in his head to get me to push him down a slope while sledding.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We did not believe in artificial limits or age brackets for when you are supposed to learn different concepts. I would always try to see how far he could go, and sometimes he surprised me. There were some inconsistencies in his knowledge/skill at times. For example, he could take square roots, and even approximate something like &lt;code&gt;sqrt(3)&lt;/code&gt; as early as 5 years old, but for the life of him could not solve something like &lt;code&gt;3x+5 = 20&lt;/code&gt; until he was 7. Somehow it did not bother me. I would just take him on a tour of math more or less randomly picking a challenge and then filling in the gaps as we went along when he lacked the skill to do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I am a distance runner myself, and got him into running when he was 5. He has trained consistently since. Consistent running has conditioned his brain for focus - he can grind on a hard problem for hours. This is absolutely critical for success in math and other similar disciplines.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We live a healthy life style. My son once failed a question on an early reading evaluation test because he failed to recognize the logo of McDonalds. We never eat junk food of any kind. I believe this also contributes to the ability to focus.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I am the kind of dad that does not easily take no for an answer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarize, what I get from our experience with my oldest son is that while some measure of mathematical talent does not hurt, somebody maybe in the 25% natural ability bracket can do quite well, and things like lifestyle, training, consistency, motivation, and perseverance become more of a contributing factor of success over the course of the years. Your son probably has more natural ability than ours. If you provide a healthy growth environment for him, he will do quite well if he chooses this path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19449" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T22:11:33.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12114" CreationDate="2015-11-24T22:28:59.367" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's 4 more kids than would have been if everyone else except your son were into soccer! So he is lucky to have any friends to celebrate with. How about that for a re-framing ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's nice that you are concerned about your son having a great bday party. But here is how I would look at it. What's wrong with having a birthday with only a handful of his friends instead of a nut house with everyone? Why be &quot;of course&quot; worried? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps I don't get it. But. You could choose to not make a deal out of it, instead flip it as an advantage so that your kid will get to have quality time with other kids who are not into soccer. Still trying to figure out how this is any issue at all for either your son, or you. I would suggest to be &quot;of course&quot; not worried. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13417" LastActivityDate="2015-11-24T22:28:59.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23152" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23153" CreationDate="2015-11-25T03:03:32.193" Score="25" ViewCount="117211" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have two boys: a 3-yr old toddler and an 8-month old infant. The toddler is doing extremely well with all physical/motor and emotional/intellectual/communication aspects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 8-month old, physically, is also right where he should be. He's crawling, sits up by himself, is starting to pull himself up on to things (yikes), rolls over, picks stuff up with both hands, etc. No concerns there whatsoever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also have a copy of the de facto standard, &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1889392413&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Baby 411&lt;/a&gt;, which cites a whole slew of autism screening questions, and again, absolutely no concerns on the autism front: he makes strong eye contact, enjoys being around us and his older brother, cuddles with stuffed animals, is not &quot;off in his own world&quot;, etc. No concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am becoming concerned about is his language/communication skills. This is one area where we've seen relatively &lt;strong&gt;no&lt;/strong&gt; development since he was a newborn. On one hand:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; squeal and laugh when he's really worked up and happy&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Extremely rarely, we'll get a quick &quot;&lt;em&gt;Ahhh&lt;/em&gt;&quot; (vowels only, no consonants)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He cries when he's upset&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He absolutely can hear (we've tested this thoroughly - sneaking up behind him and making a noise to see if he turns his head, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He does seem to respond to his name by making eye contact with us&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, on the other hand:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He's 8 months old, and not a single consonant sound (not a single &quot;&lt;em&gt;Ba&lt;/em&gt;&quot; or &quot;&lt;em&gt;Ga&lt;/em&gt;&quot;), etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When we engage him isolated and directly (without our toddler there to disrupt), he just doesn't seem interested in communicating back and forth with us; either that, or he just doesn't &quot;get&quot; that he can try to engage us back; it just doesn't occur to him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Finally, my question:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you ask the Google Gods &quot;&lt;em&gt;8 month old not babbling when to worry&lt;/em&gt;&quot;-and similar queries, you'll get an ocean of blogs and forums of parents with identical stories to ours. And in almost every case they get the same regurgitated/canned responses:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;All babies are different and acquire skills at different rates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes, I understand that, but:&lt;/strong&gt; if my son is still not verbal at, say, 30 years of age, clearly something is wrong. So my point is that, at some point between 8 months and 30 years of age, he'll cross over a barrier where it's no longer acceptable to just chalk his lack of communication up to &quot;&lt;em&gt;All babies are different.&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my question(s) is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is this barrier/when is this point? At what age do you finally worry that he may have some learning disability, or something else going on?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once a child crosses over this barrier, what are some concrete/actual causes for lack of communication (when neither autism nor physical/hearing disability are present)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Update 3/9/2016:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About 3 weeks after posting this question, my son started babbling and using consonants (of course!). He's now 11 months and jabbers/babbles constantly, says &quot;&lt;em&gt;Da!&lt;/em&gt;&quot; when he looks at me, and occassionally acknowledges my wife as &quot;&lt;em&gt;Mom!&lt;/em&gt;&quot; (lol). So he's not quite at &quot;&lt;em&gt;Dada/Mama&lt;/em&gt;&quot; yet, but I have faith he'll be there soon. I'll post updates to this from time to time as I think it may help other parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Update 10/4/2016:&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our little guy is 18 months old now and is &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; where he should be on the milestone chart (below, under the accepted answer). He barely made a noise for the first 8 - 9 months, then started becoming more and more verbal in his 9th/10th month. And now he's got a repetoire of dozens of words that he says with correct annunciation (more or less) and under the right circumstances. He's even starting to put 2- and 3-word sentences together (&lt;em&gt;I love you&lt;/em&gt;, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this to say, that we're no longer even remotely worried about him, and I advise any other parents with the same concerns that we had to read through all the answers to this question. The accepted answer was truly the best, but many of the other upvoted answers provided a lot of great guidance and emotional support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19955" LastEditorUserId="19955" LastEditDate="2016-10-04T13:52:13.007" LastActivityDate="2017-05-12T00:27:10.350" Title="8 month old not babbling, when to worry and what to worry about" Tags="|infant|language-development|hearing|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23152" CreationDate="2015-11-25T05:21:32.073" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a clip of the &lt;a href=&quot;http://drhart.net/clinic/forms/Denver%20II%20Developmental%20Milestones.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Denver II Developmental Milestones&lt;/a&gt; checklist:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ft4rIm.png&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ft4rIm.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you draw a vertical line from the slash in dada/mama specific and the &quot;c&quot; in dada/mama non-specific, you'll have the 8 month old line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The white rectangle is &quot;average&quot;; the blue one means &quot;late but still normal&quot;. Falling off the blue box means &quot;possibly prudent to follow-up&quot;. There it is in black, white, and blue. Your baby is fine, because he says &quot;aaaah&quot;, which is a syllable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're asking for a black and white answer (exactly where between 8 months and 30 years), but the truth is, there is no black and white answer. There is only the whole picture.  One study tried to correlate infant language acquisition milestones (as well as the other three categories of acquisition) to later cognitive ability, and failed pretty spectacularly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The age of reaching developmental milestones was associated with intellectual performance at ages 8, 26, and 53 years; for every month earlier a child learned to stand, there was, on average, a gain of one half of one intelligence quotient point at age 8. Speech development had a small but statistically significant effect on subsequent educational attainment (later developers were less likely to progress beyond basic education); this effect was not apparent for motor development. Effect sizes were reduced when the slowest developers were excluded, but many effects remained significant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here, &quot;significant&quot; is clearly in the eyes of the researcher; the truth is there was no conclusion except &lt;em&gt;this may be important, but we're not at all able to prove it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no age-specific correct answer to your question. Fortunately or unfortunately, it depends on all the other pieces of information available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;What some causes are for lack of communication is, I think, a separate question.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ana.21120/full&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Infant developmental milestones and subsequent cognitive function&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-11-25T06:47:19.410" LastActivityDate="2015-11-25T06:47:19.410" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23152" CreationDate="2015-11-25T14:03:31.033" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Development checklists. Phooey. You can &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; really know what is &lt;em&gt;right&lt;/em&gt; for a &lt;em&gt;baby&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;...but as a parent, it can sure make you wonder!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've got lots of kids, and even more nephews and nieces. So far they have all turned out well. So let me give you a few drastically contrasting histories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some totally unclinical, anecdotal histories:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First daughter: Never crawled. Not once. She sat up on her own at about 5 months, but not by the half-rolling sort of way babies normally do. She would push her upper body with her arms and scramble her legs forward until they were forward of her hands and plop down like a monkey. She would then usually topple over until she was almost 7 months old. She babbled incessantly, played with noises and was intensely curious about sounds. She spoke well formed words before she was a year old and had an amazing grasp of Japanese and English grammar before she was 2 (I live in Japan, hence the two language thing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second daughter: She didn't care much about sitting up for a very long time, and only crawled a little bit. Instead she would look at where she wanted to go and &lt;em&gt;roll&lt;/em&gt; there. Which was hilarious, but a little alarming -- until my mother told me I used to do the exact same thing, and so did my brother's daughter in Texas. She wasn't interested in sounds &lt;em&gt;at all&lt;/em&gt;. She made almost no babbling noises, very rarely vocalized anything, and didn't even cry much. When she was a little over a year old, though, it was clear that she understood what we were talking about when we addressed her -- but never spoke. In contrast to the first daughter we were a little worried, but figured it would turn out however it would turn out. She didn't say much until she was about 20 months old. Once she turned two, she just suddenly started saying full sentences. We don't even know what her first word was. It really seems like the first thing she said was &quot;I want a banana.&quot; (well, actually バナナが欲しい -- but the whole family has an internal pidgin at this point, so it doesn't matter.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Niece: Noisy as anything. Difficult baby. Crawled, rolled, played with anything that wasn't a toy... but was never interested in sitting up or standing. She was really noisy, but never made more than random babbling noises until she was almost three. Then, suddenly, words started coming out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third daughter: Shocking similarities to first daughter (she's almost 1 now and has started saying words at random).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nephew: Textbook example of the roll/crawl/stand/walk system laid out in the &quot;this is a normal baby&quot; type books. But never said a word. Barely even cried. Didn't play with sounds. Liked to bounce with music, but just never vocalized anything &lt;em&gt;until he was almost four&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Now I make my point&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these kids took (or are taking) their own path. They have all turned out just amazingly well. Super capable kids. Every one of them is engaging, intelligent, and doing well in studies and athletics (typical caveats about kids not enjoying tedious tasks apply, of course).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you have more kids the differences will stop making you worry and start making you laugh. I've got kids 14, 10, 9, 5, 3, and 0, and the nephew above is now 10 and niece now 8. They are all doing just fine. If something is really &lt;em&gt;wrong&lt;/em&gt; with them &lt;em&gt;you will notice and it won't be ambiguous&lt;/em&gt;. Sometimes something that is really wrong will only turn up later, like when engaging in early study or trained athletics (around 4 or 5). Until then unless something is just clearly scary wrong then you have nothing to worry about. If you're worried, but not about anything specific, just generally wondering, go talk to a pediatrician or (even better) your mother or grandmother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its an adventure. Nothing you mentioned in your story is anything other than good comedic material for later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11435" LastActivityDate="2015-11-25T14:03:31.033" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23155" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-26T01:42:27.213" Score="2" ViewCount="26519" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took a bottle of breast milk out of the refrigerator and forgot about it. At room temperature, how long is it good for? Can I put it back in the fridge?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19958" LastActivityDate="2015-11-26T02:20:13.163" Title="How long does chilled breast milk last after taking from the refrigerator?" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-11-26T02:19:36.933" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23155" CreationDate="2015-11-26T02:20:13.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally, you shouldn't recool breast milk ever. However, room temperature is about 5-6 hours (only a little longer than adult food), so I would wager no more than that, less if it was in the fridge for awhile. The CDC has a handy chart we used:&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/recommendations/handling_breastmilk.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/recommendations/handling_breastmilk.htm&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it sticks having to throw out hard work, but just remember there's always more where that came from! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13165" LastActivityDate="2015-11-26T02:20:13.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23152" CreationDate="2015-11-26T03:13:55.880" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just wanted to add a slight counterpoint to zxq9's answer, as I'm not sure it's correct that if something's wrong it won't be ambiguous. There are plenty of conditions that only become obvious when the ability gap between a child and their peers has widened quite a bit, but which could be handled better if the child was given some support before then. A quick look at SEN parents' forums will show that it's common for parents to say things like &quot;If only I'd acted on my suspicions when she was younger rather than letting it all come to a head&quot; or to be annoyed about being fobbed off with &quot;He'll grow out of it, he's just younger in his year group&quot; etc by kind people trying to be reassuring when actually the child was showing early signs of a learning difficulty and could have done with some help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So while I agree that it does sound like your baby is fine and just doing things at his own pace here, I'd also like to point out that if you still have concerns a few months down the line, there's nothing wrong with getting the opinion of a speech therapist. If your baby does have a problem, getting it diagnosed early could do a lot to prevent it becoming a big problem, and if he doesn't, no harm done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19960" LastActivityDate="2015-11-26T03:13:55.880" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23161" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-26T15:59:27.110" Score="8" ViewCount="907" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in Israel. I am a native English speaker. My wife is Israeli. My five-year-old son speaks Hebrew.  He understands when I talk in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But he has a lot of difficulty in saying a sentence in English on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will say it in Hebrew, I will tell him to say it in English, he'll repeat it in Hebrew.  Then I'll tell him 1 of the words in English.  Then he can sometimes stumble through the sentence, as if having told him one of the words has triggered in his mind the recollection of the other words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He translates words pretty well from English to Hebrew.  The other direction is a bit more difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My questions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a) Is it because I am his only English speaking exposure that his English is not &quot;natural&quot; to him., i.e., if it were true that kids pick up languages so quickly, then, why is it still so hard for him to speak in English?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;b) How can I help him improve his English:  (he hates the effort that I ask him to put in to try to talk in English)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;c) Could it be that my enunciation is not so good, and that is a major problem? Should I work on speaking more lucidly and clearly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, another problem is that recently he has developed problems in his Hebrew, mixing up the sounds sh and s - in fact; I noticed he is copying how some other kids in his pre-school are talking :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I expect he will learn English with time and patience and perseverance.  But the question is, why is it not coming to him naturally and spontaneously and organically like everyone says it should be for kids, and like his Hebrew was?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S.: He also has English exposure from songs on CDs/tv shows. Instead, it seems to come to him as it does to an adult, in a rigid logical way. As if he stores everything in Hebrew, and translates all English to Hebrew before handling. i.e., as if he does not think in English, only Hebrew.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess that it's just a silly myth that all kids are magically amazing language learners....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19966" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2016-01-03T12:49:06.340" LastActivityDate="2017-08-28T12:35:45.843" Title="My 5 year old's second language: Why is it not coming naturally?" Tags="|pre-schooler|language-development|teaching|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23162" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24395" CreationDate="2015-11-26T21:43:40.750" Score="10" ViewCount="3336" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3 kids. The eldest boy is 20 and is studying at University, my middle son is 17 and still at school and my youngest is a 12 yo daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About six and a half years ago my wife left and at the time she agreed to my request that we maintain 50-50, week-about custody. For me this arrangement has been good as I have been able to maintain good relationships with the kids and also start and maintain a new relationship with my new wife of 5 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Life at my ex-wife's house(s) has been a bit of a rollercoaster for our children. In the 5 years that I have been with my new wife, my ex has had 7 or 8 boyfriends, none of which have lasted more than 14 months, and some that she has moved into her house (with their own kids) within days of meeting them on-line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My ex is an 'intense' parent. Some call them martyr-mums. When she is between boyfriends she focusses her love and attention on the kids very intensely. She also tends to treat them more like friends rather than parent-child. What this means is that during those times the kids get very attached to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast I am a more even, but less intense, parent. I probably don't tell them enough how much I love them, but that is probably more a bloke thing than anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, kids being kids, they can be incredibly selfish as most of them think the world revolves around them. So what has happened at various stages during the last 6 years is that any or all of the 3 of them have decided that they want to live solely with one parent or the other, whether it is me or my ex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now when they have come to me in that time (all 3 have done so at various times) and made the request to live at my place full-time, I have almost always said No, as I have told them that it is not fair on the other parent when that happens, and that I believe that the best outcome for everyone (parents and children) is the 50-50 split. There have been exceptions though, most notably 5 years ago when my ex felt physically threatened by my eldest boy, and I agreed to &lt;strong&gt;her&lt;/strong&gt; request for me to take him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately my ex does not take the same stance, and while she may not encourage the children to live with her full-time, she does not encourage them to maintain the 50-50 access. I have found out recently from a mutual friend that my ex never liked the 50-50 arrangement and has always wanted the kids to herself. This has meant that my middle son spent some time in the last 2 years living at her place full-time (until she moved boyfriend no 6 or 7 in and my son didn't get on with him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So once again, my ex has been between boyfriends, and once again my middle son is saying he wants to be with his mum full-time. Because he is over 16, he can legally choose where to live. He is coming to me this weekend, but this is the first time he's been at my place for 5 weeks. I really miss him and just want the arrangement to go back to 50-50.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything that I can say to my son to try and fix this? Should I even be trying to persuade him to go back to the 50-50?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only have just over a year before he heads off on his own big life adventure, and I would really like to have him in my life for half of that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE - 20th April, 2017&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well 18 months later I thought I should share how things went.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is now half way through his 18-week basic training in the Royal New Zealand Navy. While he has always continued to keep up the contact with me (more so, now that he is away from home), he never came back to me 50/50 before he went off on his big life adventure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He spent last year trying to get into the armed forces, and spent most of the year working after dropping out of school. I was dismayed by some of the decisions that he made, but without much access to him he got very little 'good' advice. His mother even encouraged him to drive around illegally on a learners license for most of that year. Which ended up with him being caught and having to sit, and pass, his driving test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, since leaving for the Navy he seems to have had a renewed interest in me and more importantly, my (and his) family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My ex is still doing her damnedest to keep him as close as possible by almost controlling his activities during his 4-day leave over Easter when he flew back down here to our home town. His car had mysteriously had the battery drained so she ended up ferrying him wherever he (or perhaps she) wanted to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I do feel that I have a better relationship now with my son since he has been released from the apron strings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19971" LastEditorUserId="19971" LastEditDate="2017-04-19T20:58:01.367" LastActivityDate="2017-04-19T20:58:01.367" Title="Teenage Boy wants to live with his Mum" Tags="|teen|divorce|custody|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23163" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-26T23:40:05.093" Score="3" ViewCount="140" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to buy my preteen a pair of headphones, but I don't want them to damage her hearing in the long-run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I teach her not to listen to music too loud, but just in case, are there certain types of headphones that are scientifically proven to be safer than others, assuming they're used at the same volume level? (eg. noise-cancelling vs. not, tight vs. loose, whatever else)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17758" LastEditorUserId="17758" LastEditDate="2015-11-27T08:26:26.793" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T20:31:37.257" Title="How can I pick out safe headphones?" Tags="|safety|noise|hearing|ear|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23164" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-27T04:16:56.590" Score="5" ViewCount="2973" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5-year-old daughter is a very smart, sweet, and usually well-behaved girl. She usually hates to get in trouble and responds well to correction. However, lately she has been getting into some trouble at school for not listening and refusing to participate one day, and has been not listening to us and getting very angry about having &quot;rules&quot;. She is going back to her younger behaviors of having trouble leaving places, such as family get-togethers, grandma's house, etc. She gets mad and STAYS mad, will pout and carry on for quite a while before she finally comes around and usually apologizes.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I do not know where this has come from and have tried to figure it out. She likes school, and says she likes her teacher and friends. My DH (spouse) teaches at her school, so he is pretty in the loop about her days there, and he states that she is most always happy when he sees her, she plays with pretty much anyone.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;There have been no changes at home, other than I started working full-time in June, but that coincided with her starting kinder, so she wouldn't be home anyway.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She is very moody, and the littlest thing can cause so much drama. She had been sick a couple times right in a row and her tonsils are still swollen, but not red, so I don't really think she is sick or anything that would be contributing... I kept hoping it was just a growth spurt or something because she has sprouted up recently and all her pants are short.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have gotten some great insight and advice from other posts on here, but the biggest question I still have is what to do when she doesn't listen while we are out, or it is something time sensitive. &#xA;For example: We are at a family function and when we let her know it's almost time to leave, she says &quot;No!&quot; and is defiant, and ran away from DH. This turned into over an hour of issues where she was saying she didn't care if she got in trouble, no one ever helps her, wishes she didn't have a mommy &amp;amp; daddy, etc. To me, that is just unacceptable behavior, and I don't want to let her &quot;get away with it&quot;. I find it hard to ignore because we are GOING to leave at a certain time, and so at some point it becomes a matter of force. Or sometimes I tell her it's bedtime and again, &quot;NO!&quot; and won't come, the consequence has been losing a bedtime story. But of course, telling her that just warrants more drama crying and anger.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I feel there must be a consequence to defiant, disrespectful behavior, is that wrong? So many posts here say to ignore it. If I just ignore it, she will not be in bed. Do I just say &quot;I am available to read stories and tuck you in now, later I will not be&quot;? I know it is getting to be a power struggle, and I want to nip it in the bud as it's new behavior. I am all for &quot;positive parenting&quot; but it's so hard for me in the moment, when she is being so rude!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19974" LastEditorUserId="3778" LastEditDate="2016-10-24T08:36:03.760" LastActivityDate="2017-03-22T09:49:34.803" Title="How to Handle 5 Year Old Disrespect/Not Listening in Public?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|tantrums|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23165" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-27T04:20:16.503" Score="4" ViewCount="153" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live with my parents and bagged a job in a multinational company that is luckily(as they say!) based in my hometown. My parents quarrel all the time because they have a difference in opinion on everything. How to make home a better place? I don't want to hurt them but I feel I can't bear it anymore. I have reinstated this quite a number of times to them together and one on one too but they end up quarelling. This is talking a toll on me as I have started believing that I might act like my father/mother in long run and thus don't have any girlfriends and feel I might not marry at all.I am 25 and broken from inside.Please help me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19975" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T10:27:45.223" Title="How to make home a quiet place with quarrelling parents?" Tags="|relationships|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14869" CreationDate="2015-11-27T04:29:52.810" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I let my 15 month old play with an unplugged cell phone cord with full undivided attention. Perhaps 15-20 minutes a day just so that he can play with it and to fulfill his curiousity of cords in general.  I'm near him while he plays and my hope is that he will grow tired of strings and cords. When my baby is curious I try to encourage him. I feel like he needs to learn and enjoy learning. Besides, babies tend to grow tired of things and venture to new activities. Try to be patient and help them learn and grow as much as possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19976" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T04:29:52.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23168" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-27T05:39:33.683" Score="5" ViewCount="495" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 23 month old twin boys (I'll call them C&amp;amp;D) whom we have about 2 months ago transitioned away from a crib by taking away one side and creating an enclosure of sort (about 12 x 12 feet) which they can busy themselves with so they're not climbing out the other side into the adult area. We have a pretty established bed time routine from since they were small. However what we have noticed happening recently is that C would walk over and start riding on D like a horse, possibly hurting D and causing him to cry. This would happen soon after we leave the area (we have curtains to separate their area and ours), several times per evening. I tell C to say sorry to D and tell him not to do it again etc. nicely and with a stern voice but obviously it's not working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone recommend a good way of discouraging or dealing with this behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4755" LastActivityDate="2017-09-17T03:37:43.243" Title="23 month old twins disturbing each other at bed time" Tags="|sleep|discipline|twins|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2015-11-27T09:47:31.613" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2yo daughter has recently developed several fears, including that of water on her face. When splashed, she will tremble in fear and reach her face to remove the water. Usually with wet hands, which makes things even worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also knows that, occasionally, when we wash her hair, some water will reach her eyes. And she started fearing washing hair, and told us that the problem was the water in her eyes and on her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The solution turned out to be a cloth, a small towel, which she holds and with which she protects her eyes from water.&lt;/strong&gt; It appears that it both protects her from what she fears and gives her a sense of influencing the process somehow. Anyway, she is happy afterwards. After the first time we used this method to wash her hair, she said &quot;Juliet is pleased!&quot; (she still sometimes addresses herself in third person).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T09:47:31.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23163" CreationDate="2015-11-27T10:25:16.863" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately this is not actually possible. That 'scientifically proven' bit is not true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that if you play loud noises into the ear, you will begin to damage the ear. Headphones and earphones are much closer to the ear so the noise levels felt by the ear are much louder than you may expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt; safe way to use earphones is to play them at a sensible volume. Which is why various mp3 devices come with a volume limiter. None actually stop you overriding the limiter, but require you to make a couple of extra selections.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the solution is education and awareness. In the UK the Musician's Union publish a lot of information on this, and they provide free annual ear tests to musicians. If in any doubt, I'd suggest getting your daughter along to an equivalent session, or perhaps visit an ENT department at your local hospital - they will have horror stories that would turn anyone away from loud noises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T10:25:16.863" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23165" CreationDate="2015-11-27T10:27:45.223" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a difficult situation. How to solve it depends on many factors, but one thing that I found helpful in similar situations is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You cannot change others, you can only change yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means you probably cannot change your parent's behaviour - if they want to fight, or feel unable not to fight, that is their decision, and you cannot (directly) change that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can, however, change how &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; handle the situation. How exactly depends on circumstances, but the basic idea is that you enforce the boundaries you need to prevent their behavior from affecting you. Some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Calmly leave the room when they start quarreling.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell them you do not want to eat with them if they regularly quarrel during meals.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell them you do not want to be drawn into their quarrels (if they try to do that). For example, refuse to listen to one complaining about the other to you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if this does not help / is not enough, you will have to escalate. Options would be to seek some kind of professional help or counseling (for you, as you cannot force your parents to go, even if it might be good for them too), or to move out to your own apartment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, only you can decide what is best for you. Try to think about what you need, and try to find support where you need it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T10:27:45.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23173" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-27T11:33:49.810" Score="6" ViewCount="916" Body="&lt;p&gt;We seemed to have fallen into a sleep routine where my two-year-old will not go to sleep without bread. He will ask for it, and basically goes to sleep sucking it, (he starts by eating it, but there will be one bite that he just sucks until he goes to sleep).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has started to worry us that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's embedded in the routine &lt;br/&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He might choke on the bread as he falls asleep sucking it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everytime we try a &quot;no - bread&quot; approach he is awake long into the night, and we have so far given in (I know that kills it). We have just got over a period where he wasn't really eating his dinner and then demanded a sandwich at night by continually getting him out of bed to eat his dinner instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are wondering whether it really is something worth worrying about and how we would get him to stop. We have even considered trying a dummy (that he has never had before), but that seems like a backward step, but it does seem safer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11361" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-15T18:34:05.927" LastActivityDate="2020-03-06T01:58:55.440" Title="2-year-old needs bread to go to sleep" Tags="|toddler|eating|bedtime|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10895" CreationDate="2015-11-27T12:17:37.480" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found goat's milk formula (as opposed to generic formula which is derived from cows milk) helped with our newborn. He still gets a some gas every now and then but its a lot better since we made the transition. Goat's milk I believe is more like human milk than cow's or soy milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, could have just been chance effect and he would have got better with age. He is now half way through 5 weeks. His worse weeks by far were week 2 and 3 when he was on generic formula. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Down side to goats milk formula is he stinks of goat's curd. Can over drink it because he loves it. And its more expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still don't understand why, say once a week he still gets wind pain. Better than every day though. In anycase with infants remember - what works for me may not work for you. Also, we didn't really see improvements for a couple of days after going to goat's milk formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The product we used was - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.productreview.com.au/p/karicare-plus-goat-one-infant-formula.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.productreview.com.au/p/karicare-plus-goat-one-infant-formula.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19979" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T12:17:37.480" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23173" CreationDate="2015-11-27T15:50:39.580" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My concern would be tooth decay- bread might not be sweet, but it's chock full of carbohydrates and for sure prolonged exposure to food right before bed (and without tooth brushing afterward) is a host for cavity-causing bacteria. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Tooth decay is caused by acid-producing bacteria in your mouth that&#xA;  feast on carbohydrates, be it sugar from candy or starch from&#xA;  wholesome foods such as bread.&quot; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/2011-truth-tooth-decay.html&quot;&gt;from Livescience.com The Truth about Tooth Decay&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got serious about this issue after reading the NY Times article &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/06/health/rise-in-preschool-cavities-prompts-anesthesia-use.html?_r=0&quot;&gt;&quot;Preschoolers in Surgery for a Mouthful of Cavities&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We fell into a similar trap with milk before bed. We decided to put in an inflexible rule: toothbrushing happens at the end of our bedtime routine, and after that, only water is allowed.  Now, that can create a similar problem - our daughter demands water (and sometimes a lot of it) right before going to sleep. But I'd rather worry about a wet bed on occasion than about her teeth needing fillings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine the transition will be tough; any habits, especially bedtime routine habits, are hard to break. Decide on what the rule will be and stick with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T15:50:39.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1128" CreationDate="2015-11-27T18:51:52.210" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd start out by acknowledging the controversy. Say &quot;Different people think different things about this. Some people think ....., but other people think .....&quot;. Then if the child is still interested you can start to explain why they disagree, and maybe explain your own point of view.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T18:51:52.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23163" CreationDate="2015-11-27T20:16:17.127" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you need is a set with a built in volume limiter. Many children specific sets have this feature, some more effective than others. A quick Google turned up this roundup review of children's headphones from PCAdvisor &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pcadvisor.co.uk/feature/audio/best-headphones-for-kids-3460018/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.pcadvisor.co.uk/feature/audio/best-headphones-for-kids-3460018/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14933" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T20:16:17.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23173" CreationDate="2015-11-27T20:54:24.607" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems that your two-year-old is experiencing some sort of emotional distress that the bread is helping to relieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you know why bread is so important to him?  Is it specifically bread, or just food of any kind?  Is it the sucking on it that placates him, or do you think he is actually hungry?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on your situation, I could see a few different potential actions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he's truly hungry, you could try feeding him a snack right before brushing teeth (maybe get on pyjamas, read a story while eating bread/something else, then brush teeth and get into bed).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he just wants something to suck on, I think using a soother/pacifier (I assume that's what you mean by &quot;dummy&quot;) is fine.  If that's what gives him comfort, let him go for it, and when he doesn't need it anymore, he'll give it up.  If you're concerned about him (or you) being ridiculed for using it, emphasize to him that it's only for sleeping, and it gets put away first thing in the morning.  Alternatively, a chew-toy of some sort (like babies use for teething) might fit the bill.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Could he have security issues around food?  Perhaps something that was said or done (even inadvertently) gave him the impression that there might not always be access to food, so he's trying to make sure he gets enough before it's &quot;all gone.&quot;  Try getting ahead of the situation by deciding for a full week that you will offer him bread at bedtime &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; he asks for it.  I would not be at all surprised if after not much more than a week, he decides he doesn't need it anymore.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There could potentially be other issues at play, too.  In my mind, the most crucial thing is to determine exactly &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he's requesting bread (hunger, emotional insecuity, food issues, etc.), and act to alleviate that particular problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two years old is too young to expect any sort of &quot;disciplinary&quot; approach to work.  He wants bread because he wants bread, and telling him he can't have it, no matter how carefully-explained and logical your reasoning, will be met with the logic-defeating response, &quot;But I WANT it!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T20:54:24.607" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23161" CreationDate="2015-11-27T22:21:04.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;a)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has been exposed to a lot more Hebrew (e.g. at school) than English, it seems natural that he would be a lot more comfortable speaking in Hebrew.  While children in general have an easier time learning languages than adults, I'm sure there is a range, just as there is with adults (some adults can pick up languages in no time, while others require years).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have heard it said (though I don't have evidence) that children who grow up bilingual take a little longer to develop language skills in &lt;em&gt;either&lt;/em&gt; language, probably due to the fact that they're trying to learn two languages at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;b)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that if you're comfortable with his language development in Hebrew, your best bet is to try to expose him to as much English as possible.  You've already mentioned videos in English.  Try to have both you and your wife speak to him in English as much as possible.  If you have any friends or acquaintances that speak English (especially children), try to spend more time with them, so that he gets more exposure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If circumstances allow, you could try taking a trip to an English-speaking country.  Immersion is a wonderful way to learn a language.  It sounds like he has the basics of the language down; while you're there, encourage him to interact with the locals as much as possible, and read street signs, menus, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think he is &lt;em&gt;capable&lt;/em&gt; of communicating in English, but for whatever reason is shy, or feels that he shouldn't, or is embarrassed, etc., you could try pretending not to understand when he asks for something in Hebrew, and only give it to him after he asks in English.  I would only recommend this if you think he has the ability to do it in English, though, since it could backfire otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget that he is learning not only two different languages, but two entirely different alphabets.  It's a lot to take in, even for a malleable child-brain.  If he seems to understand English fluently, and continues to be exposed to it, then he should be able to use it well enough if he is ever in a situation that requires it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;c)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think enunciation has anything to do with it.  When kids are learning their first language, it's rare that their parents or others around them take the time to enunciate clearly.  Part of learning the language is learning how to understand poor enunciation.  Of course, if there are particular words that you pronounce particularly badly, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; he has &lt;em&gt;no one else&lt;/em&gt; to hear them from, that might hamper his ability to learn somewhat.  That's why I think giving him the greatest possible exposure to the language will be beneficial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is immersed in a Hebrew-speaking culture, and you are his only exposure to English, it makes perfect sense that he is picking up Hebrew way faster than English.  Give it time, and try to increase his exposure to English, and he should eventually get there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T22:21:04.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1584" CreationDate="2015-11-27T22:35:03.507" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've encountered this problem often in Canada, due to the huge amount of media imported from the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With young children, I find it occurs most often with the alphabet song.  They will be watching a show, and the characters start singing the alphabet song, almost invariably ending with &quot;zee.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One approach I've had some success with is to feign astonishment, and pretend to my children that the characters on TV don't even know their alphabet!  &quot;&lt;em&gt;What&lt;/em&gt; did they say?  ZEE?  &lt;em&gt;Everyone&lt;/em&gt; knows that it's 'zed', not 'zee'!  That's just silly!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will come a time when they learn that both are acceptable regional spellings/pronunciations, but for a young brain, I find it's easiest to just teach them that all the &quot;wrong&quot; spellings are &quot;mistakes&quot;, until they're able to understand the regional differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could do the same when you encounter a &quot;wrong&quot; spelling in a book.  &quot;Uh-oh!  It looks like they spelled 'colour' wrong again!  People really have a lot of trouble with that word!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2015-11-27T22:35:03.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23184" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="238" CreationDate="2015-11-28T17:13:24.940" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children are 6 and 3 and know the difference between each others genitals. They still bathe together with no problem. They actually prefer it because they don't like being in the bathroom alone in fear of monsters lol teach them that there is a difference and that its a &quot;no touch&quot; zone for everyone except their self and there should be no real problem. That's when I'll maybe make them stop.. When my 6 year old reaches 9&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19989" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T17:13:24.940" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23185" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23199" CreationDate="2015-11-28T19:03:48.663" Score="1" ViewCount="402" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm visiting an indoor kids park (trampolines, slides, etc.) with a &quot;no outside drink&quot; policy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand the reason for the policy is to up sell, and while my toddler son &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; drink their (cow) milk for $.50/oz, I'd rather save money and just bring my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My understanding is that they can't prevent me from breastfeeding. I'm trying to use that idea to allow my son to have a bottle. Is bottled breast milk seen as the same?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19990" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-21T13:36:26.357" LastActivityDate="2019-01-21T13:36:26.357" Title="If an establishment allows breastfeeding, but not outside drinks (juice, etc.), is bottled breastmilk an exception?" Tags="|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-12-04T18:55:22.100" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23186" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23185" CreationDate="2015-11-28T19:17:24.893" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;That rule is meant to encourage purchase of food and drink from on-site vendors.  Since the baby is not ever going to buy food and drink on-site, the probably won't care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-12-03T04:07:00.257" LastActivityDate="2015-12-03T04:07:00.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23163" CreationDate="2015-11-28T20:31:37.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since your child is older, it is best to teach them to listen responsibly, since you will not be able to control what headphones they use in the long run.  Some iPods and iOS devices have volume limiting options built into the software.  You might try this before investing in a new set of headphones.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.howtogeek.com/224491/how-to-volume-limit-your-iphone-ipod-and-other-apple-devices-and-save-your-kids-hearing/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.howtogeek.com/224491/how-to-volume-limit-your-iphone-ipod-and-other-apple-devices-and-save-your-kids-hearing/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I researched many volume limiting headphones for my Pre-K aged kids, and finally settled on LilGadgets brand, which were not to quiet and not too loud. (Another brand I tried was too hard to hear on an airplane.)  The LilGadgets were also easy to adjust and were relatively comfortable even for a grown-up.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00Q3I690I&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00Q3I690I?psc=1&amp;amp;redirect=true&amp;amp;ref_=oh_aui_search_detailpage&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no way to turn off the volume limiter on these headphones.  Also, they can be chained together with any other headphones, so multiple people can listen to the same thing.  It's a nice way to share music or a video with your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11922" LastActivityDate="2015-11-28T20:31:37.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23188" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-28T23:44:16.107" Score="5" ViewCount="2859" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 19 yr old niece has come from overseas to study, and lives with us. I have two small sons, and my niece one minute loves them the next minute shuts them out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has come from a not so loving family where she even now believes my husband is just like her father and won't talk to us much. Her other aunt and uncle who live a state away constantly tell her that if she were there with them she would be pampered. Today my niece has come to study and get a better life but after getting a job and going to a good college she doesn't want to try to be independent or learn to be an adult, as her other aunt and uncle keep promising dreams to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I feel like we should send her to them. They constantly brag that they know how to deal with mood swings, her tantrums, her isolating herself and that she doesn't behave like that with them when she visits for a holiday. We feel like we're losing our minds trying to cope with her behavior and its effects on our sons. We feel absolutely lost and don't know what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19992" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2015-12-08T13:28:14.750" LastActivityDate="2017-02-27T18:05:18.937" Title="19 yr old niece lives with us and is upsetting family relations" Tags="|teen|relationships|extended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23188" CreationDate="2015-11-29T03:12:42.777" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 19, she is old enough to understand requirements (conditions?) for living in your household and to decide if whatever rules you put in place are acceptable for her or not (hence stay with you or not).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying 19 is an easy age... I remember all too well how unsettled I was at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the limited information you have posted, I would suggest sitting down with her and your spouse and having an adult discussion about what you require in your household and what she wants to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having clear and reasonable expectations that she has a chance of living up to should help her function in a way that works for all of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, your first responsibility is to your children and the situation needs to not be a negative for them.  The kids having another loving relative in the house would be a cool thing but having a moody/unpredictable teen that makes their life harder doesn't sound so cool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and I hope it works out well for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20000" LastActivityDate="2015-11-29T03:12:42.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23161" CreationDate="2015-11-29T03:28:25.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you are doing such a great thing for your son, giving him access to another language!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a not too dissimilar situation in our household.  My 7yr old daughters first language is English but her mom speaks to her entirely in Russian.  She also struggles with Russian in response but understands pretty much everything my wife says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither of us are teachers or language experts.  However we feel that what we're doing is good for our daughter and that ultimately she will learn Russian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice for you is pretty simple.  Keep doing what you are doing and make it as fun for your son as you can.  I'm sure he's actually learning more than you know and your efforts are going to make the English language classes he takes later (assuming he does) much much easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20000" LastActivityDate="2015-11-29T03:28:25.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22517" CreationDate="2015-11-29T03:34:12.440" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has always softly pulled on hair when going to sleep and sometimes just sitting watching TV.  However, she pulls on her dolls hair (i'm quite bald!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is anything wrong with it and like so many things it will stop in time as she matures.  When I was a child I would rub the satin edge of my blanket, also harmless and yes I did stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Possibly a nice toy (doll?) with silky long hair would be a good choice for your son and you can migrate his pulling of your hair to the doll by moving his hands there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20000" LastActivityDate="2015-11-29T03:34:12.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23185" CreationDate="2015-11-29T03:39:27.747" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've never seen an establishment prevent parents from giving bottled (as in baby bottle) milk to their kids, whether that is breast milk or formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very few places (none?) will be prepared to correctly prepare a baby bottle to force you to buy it directly from them.  Think of all the issues involved in that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be extremely surprised if they gave you any grief when you pulled out the baby bottle.  If it was me, I'd not even ask them.  Just do what you need to for your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20000" LastActivityDate="2015-11-29T03:39:27.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23185" CreationDate="2015-11-29T04:13:45.720" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, while I would be surprised if they did not let you in, the best way to find out is to ask them. Contacting the establishment in question is the appropriate and most accurate way to clarify policies that you are unsure about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, you could probably just go with the bottle, but to be sure find some contact info (perhaps they have a web site or a phone number) and ask before you go. Even if it is completely unreasonable, you still don't want to get turned away at the door. It's always best to be clear about the rules of an establishment you are visiting before you visit and the best way to get that clarity is to ask the establishment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any answers anybody here would give you would be purely conjecture, albeit based on some educated and likely correct guesses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7017" LastActivityDate="2015-11-29T04:13:45.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23201" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-29T12:46:46.073" Score="-4" ViewCount="421" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 12-year-old son. He is intelligent, but will not sit and study. We always get complaints from school that he is playful and not serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He always needs to play, especially football.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is out to play, he forgets about everything and comes home late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have given a specific time, but he still forgets and comes very late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We need him to remind about everything, especially academic things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still puts poo in his underwear which stains them. We think he is too lazy to go to the toilet because of his playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He always gets beatings from his father and mother. We know that it is not right, but kindly advise what else to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20004" LastEditorUserId="32672" LastEditDate="2022-02-16T06:04:53.783" LastActivityDate="2022-02-16T06:04:53.783" Title="How to make our 12-year-old son become more serious about his studies, more punctual, and less playful?" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23201" CreationDate="2015-11-29T13:51:22.597" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, stop the beatings. Its counter-productive, your example teaches him that violence the best way to get what you want, and depending on where you live it may also be illegal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead start looking for specific short-term goals which you can agree with him and have a reward at the end for compliance. Start with simple stuff, like arriving home on time this once, in return for which he gets something he likes, such as an extra half hour of football with Dad. If he is late, find a short-term sanction, such as no TV the following day. Both need to be immediate and short term. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As he starts to succeed you can start to stretch out the rewards. So instead of getting the reward for getting home on time once, he gets it for a two days of being on time, then four days, then a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also he may have some level of ADHD. I have no medical training, and in any case this is the kind of thing which runs in a continuum from average to extreme. But he may &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to spend some time each day running around in physical activity. If he doesn't get it then he will not be able to concentrate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-11-29T13:51:22.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23204" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23208" CreationDate="2015-11-29T15:23:31.147" Score="1" ViewCount="3052" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes the pee is such a small amount I can't tell unless I watch. We have a sit down potty and can look, but this is impossible with the  kind that sits in the big toilet. Unfortunately there is no room in the main restroom for another toddler potty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daycare says they use drops but I can't find them anywhere. Any suggestions? Maybe I shouldn't even care?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20006" LastActivityDate="2021-04-30T10:55:14.290" Title="How can you tell if a toddler went pee in the potty?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23205" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23207" CreationDate="2015-11-29T18:23:06.157" Score="3" ViewCount="469" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there any risks to either the mother or baby from using a sauna or steam room while pregnant? I know it's bad to stay for long periods in there, but what about short stays like 5 minutes, once a week?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19927" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-01T14:48:18.860" LastActivityDate="2018-09-01T14:48:18.860" Title="Are there any health risks for mother or child when using a sauna or steam room while pregnant?" Tags="|health|safety|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23205" CreationDate="2015-11-29T21:24:04.553" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should discuss this with your health care provider.  How dangerous a sauna may be depends on whether there are other risk factors in your pregnancy (such as hypertension).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, anything that raises your body temperature to fever levels has the possibility of harming your child, so if you do use a sauna, the thermostat and humidity levels should be kept pretty low.  See &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/hot-tubs-and-saunas-during-pregnancy.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hot Tubs and Saunas During Pregnancy&lt;/a&gt; for more info.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-11-30T16:55:26.873" LastActivityDate="2015-11-30T16:55:26.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23208" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23204" CreationDate="2015-11-29T21:31:19.010" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your toddler is not producing enough urine to show up in the toilet, it probably isn't going to make much difference in terms of making sure their bladder is empty before a car trip or bed time.  If you are concerned about rewarding the child for peeing in the potty, I suggest you trust them if they say they've gone (unless they have a pattern of not telling the truth about the matter).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastActivityDate="2015-11-29T21:31:19.010" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23209" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-30T03:10:36.000" Score="3" ViewCount="293" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I arrived at my in-laws today at the end of a 3 day couple's retreat away from the kids (3yr8m boy and 1yr10m boy). We were both very excited to see the kids again and wondered if they missed us at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife was ahead of me as my older son appeared. She crouched down to the ground with her arms wide open to greet him with a big hug, but he saw me behind and ran around her to hug me.  The second didn't see me and ran to his mom immediately, then after hugging momentarily he noticed me, extricated himself from his mom, and ran to me. Both boys wanted to be in daddy's arms for the next 10 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife was heartbroken. Didn't her boys miss her at all? Do they even care about her? Would they be just as happy if she didn't even exist? These are the thoughts running through her head all day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is a great mom. She is a stay at home mother, she does crafts and plays with the kids all day. She does have to discipline as well (no hitting, but she does raise her voice semi-regularly). Is there some way to help my boys be as excited about their mom as they are about me? Does their behavior reflect on their mother's kindness and parenting ability in any way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11191" LastEditorUserId="11191" LastEditDate="2015-11-30T03:51:39.330" LastActivityDate="2015-12-01T06:27:51.023" Title="Improving a parent preference?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|parents|attachment|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1457" CreationDate="2015-11-30T05:16:38.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the United States, there are clubs that &quot;re-enact&quot; Civil War battles.  These are marvelous spectacles.  They show the tools that were used, and that the soldiers involved were ordinary people.  If there are any World War II &quot;re-enactor&quot; clubs near you, you could bring your son to an event, and introduce him to some of the members.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are wise to truthfully answer his questions, and to not go out of your way to discuss topics that you do not think he is ready for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you think he is ready, you might want to introduce him to some good books on the topic:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553296981&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Diary of Anne Frank&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;.  I have not read this book, but I understand that many elementary schools have children read it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1879094061&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Caged Dragons:  An American P.O.W. in WWII Japan&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by Robert Haney.  This book shows why so few war veterans are able to describe what they went through during the war.  It is very clear.  It tells just what Bob Haney saw, in very understated (but powerful) language.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0891418601&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Bridge at Remagen&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by Ken Hechler.  This book emphasizes daring, heroism, and the roles of chance and logistics in the outcome of a single event on a single day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Encyclopædia Britannica&lt;/em&gt; article on the &quot;World Wars&quot; from the A-Anstey editions (circa 1970), plus the world and historical maps in the appendices.  This article is book-length.  It is comprehensive, but does not provide a feeling for what it was like to experience the war.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0226320553&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Road to Serfdom&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by Friedrich Hayek.  This book provides economic background, and explains how people could become so dependent on governments that were willing to (and/or felt forced to) grind them to dust.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Belgium is within driving distance of where Anne Frank lived, and of Remagen.  If your son wants to visit these places, you might be able to arrange it.  Also, some people who lived through World War II are still alive; you might be able to introduce your son to some of them.  Sadly, Bob Haney has died since this question was posted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;When you think he's ready&quot; probably means &quot;over the course of a few years&quot;. Your son is now 11 or 12 years old, so most of these books are now age-appropriate.  The movie version of &lt;em&gt;The Bridge at Remagen&lt;/em&gt; has a PG rating. If &lt;em&gt;Caged Dragons&lt;/em&gt; were made into a movie, it would probably also get a PG or PG-13 rating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Caged Dragons&lt;/em&gt; has a lot of similar themes to &lt;em&gt;The Hobbit&lt;/em&gt;.  If your son has read and understood &lt;em&gt;The Hobbit&lt;/em&gt; in English, then he is probably ready for &lt;em&gt;Caged Dragons&lt;/em&gt;. Based on how he reacts to &lt;em&gt;Caged Dragons&lt;/em&gt;, you can decide whether he is ready for &lt;em&gt;The Bridge at Remagen&lt;/em&gt; and the &quot;World Wars&quot; article. Based on how he reacts to the &quot;World Wars&quot; article, you can decide whether he is ready for &lt;em&gt;The Road to Serfdom&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13504" LastEditorUserId="13504" LastEditDate="2015-12-09T17:23:59.310" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T17:23:59.310" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23213" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23224" CreationDate="2015-11-30T13:30:34.547" Score="9" ViewCount="1201" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 10 days old little cute girl. She can't sleep because of stuffy nose. There is nothing inside her nose from the outside view but we can hear the stuffy nose sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any effective way to clean her nose?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6284" LastActivityDate="2021-04-15T06:25:24.120" Title="How can we effectively clean our baby's nose?" Tags="|newborn|cleaning|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23214" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-30T17:55:43.900" Score="6" ViewCount="695" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two step-kids. Boy age 11, girl age 10. They both have bladder issues where they still wet their beds almost every night. The boy is a fairly gregarious outgoing personality who doesn't really care. He makes friends that don't care if he pees the bed, in fact they sometimes do themselves. (&lt;em&gt;clarification: He has friends who either do not care that he has to wear protective wear, or they have/had similar issues&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The girl, however, is horrified at friends finding out she wears diapers to bed, much less that she sometimes pees her bed even with diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The boy goes to friends houses, has friends over, but the girl refuses because of this fear. I'm dealing with a distinct jealousy on the girls part at the fun the boy gets to have because friends invite him out to multiple events but the girl has literally never been to a friends house for the 3 years I've been a step father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that I can't &quot;make friends for her&quot; but dear lord... I'm conflicted and my heart hurts for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife has a serious mental health issue and so I work two jobs in order to pay bills. Our social life (as a family) is fairly non-existent (excluding holidays) so the kids don't even really circulate except for home, and the when they hang out at their dads place of business (he works in the service industry and they get to hang out at his job and play and such, but only sometimes). We don't do church (atheists), we can't afford extra-curricular activities (soccer, karate, etc), and so I'm sitting here wondering...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it best to leave her be and hope she'll figure it out? Find a friend or become more independent? She is FIERCELY co-dependent on her brother, and as they have reached that age where they are now in separate bedrooms, and having separate lives, she is mortified and lonely while he is starting to come into his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've thought about trying to find a support group for bladder problems (if such a thing exists) or something similar so she can meet kids dealing with the same issues... but I'm not even sure that is a thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can / should I help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://bedwettingstore.com/bedwetting-facts-myths.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Bedwetting Statistics&lt;/a&gt; : Only three percent of children with primary nocturnal enuresis have a physical or urological cause for it. Psychological problems as a cause of primary bedwetting are not common.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hereditary : My step-children have multiple family members who stopped bed-wetting before 16 years of age.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Divorce : As I mentioned, they are my &quot;step-children,&quot; and from what I've gathered from both genetic-parents the divorce was rather lengthy, volatile, and stressful for all involved. Everyone is friendly now, but there is a good chance the divorce contributed to their stress and possibly their enuresis problems.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Medical Professionals : Both their primary care professionals and family members who are also doctors have come to the conclusion that this is most likely a mixture of genetics and the messy divorce. Some medications have been tried but with no cure.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6920" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2015-12-01T22:15:39.290" LastActivityDate="2017-01-18T19:29:24.473" Title="Want to be Fair / Equal but Still Realistic with Bedwetting Pre-Teens and Social Issues" Tags="|step-parents|independence|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18825" CreationDate="2015-11-30T19:10:58.630" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not a long term solution, and I agree with those who answered about explaining rules, but for allowing a child some freedom to roam without safety issues, I've found those backpack/harness combinations to be a lifesaver.  I've used those for trips where the kids want to run around and see things, but there is a crowd and it would be too easy to get lost (like at the zoo).  With the backpack style, the child can even carry a snack and drink for themselves, which my kids always loved getting to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2015-11-30T19:10:58.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23213" CreationDate="2015-11-30T19:27:47.227" Score="5" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Saline Spray and Nose Frida (a suction device) works the best for my infant and toddler!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have her sit with you in a hot shower (obviously, not under the shower!) so that steam may loosen that phlegm.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;run a cool mist humidifier in her room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20016" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-25T22:51:22.607" LastActivityDate="2018-04-25T22:51:22.607" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23219" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23214" CreationDate="2015-11-30T21:32:40.483" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really like this resource here for information about how to help your child with the bedwetting problem: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/ss/slideshow-bedwetting&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/ss/slideshow-bedwetting&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;A more personal note on bedwetting - the last time that I wet my bed was when i was 16 years old.  There were not physical problems, and I was not being lazy or stupid.  I simply slept right through it; did not even wake up after i was wet.  This was normal up until i was about 11, then started tapering off until that last time at 16.  For people who have not struggled with this, you cannot imagine how terrible (embarrassing, disgusting, frustrating) it feels to wake up to a bed soaked in your own urine.  It is a difficult thing.  In my case, that last time might have been prompted by stress.  I had been sent away from home to live with my sister in a different country, away from friends and family.  Don't know.  Just know that it seemed to just add to my stress.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Fast forward 20 years, and I am helping my kids deal with their bed wetting problems.  They varied in ages where they outgrew it.  One outgrew it when she was three, another when he was 15, the others somewhere in between.  They have lived a life with lots of stress, as we have moved a lot, to different cultures and countries.  But it was good for me to be able to encourage them that this was normal and that they would outgrow it; and they all did.  It was good for me to just be able to empathize with them and offer comfort.  In the end, I believe that did more than anything to help them get rid of the problem.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;On the socialization problem, my hat is off to you for working so hard to care for your wife and kids, and for the empathy you display towards them.  There are sometimes community centers that offer after-school programs for free.  Contact your city's parks and recreation department, if it has one, to look for this sort of thing. I know that is not much of an answer, but it's all I can think of right now.  I really wish I could help you more.  I can sense the care and love you have for your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2015-12-01T14:43:50.490" LastActivityDate="2015-12-01T14:43:50.490" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23214" CreationDate="2015-11-30T21:54:02.993" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest exploring deeper to get to specific fears, and address those individually.  For example, she may be afraid:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her friends will smell her room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her friends will find her diapers, clean sheets, plastic sheets, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her brother will rat her out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She will be invited to sleep over.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can work together to find solutions to all those things, to help her feel more confident in making friends.  Remember, she doesn't necessarily need a ton of friends, just one good one.  Often, the best place to start isn't by trying to find a friend for &lt;em&gt;yourself&lt;/em&gt;, but by looking around and trying to see who looks like &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; need a friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-11-30T21:54:02.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23221" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-11-30T22:14:54.470" Score="2" ViewCount="3877" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have tried punishing and then rewarding the child for pooping their pants.  He has been to the doctors and was suggested to try a laxative for this problem.   We also tried setting certain times to have the child sit on the toilet.  Nothing seems to be working.  Would hypnotizing work?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20017" LastActivityDate="2015-11-30T23:20:07.700" Title="7 yr old pooping pants" Tags="|encopresis|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2015-12-03T11:56:51.020" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23221" CreationDate="2015-11-30T23:20:07.700" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You shouldn't punish children with encopresis.  You would not (I hope) punish a child for getting an ear infection.  Punishing your child will not do anything to cure them of this medical problem, and could be making the problem worse.  Your child is likely to be embarrassed and stressed by this problem.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to make sure you are feeding your child enough fibre and enough fluid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also need to follow your doctor's instructions.  Encopresis happens when children withhold their stool, become constipated, and then liquid stool leaks out around the compacted stool.  To treat this your doctor has recommended a laxative.  The laxative will increase the amount of water in the stool to soften it and help it be expelled. Your doctor (or nurse) will tell you how often to use the medication. It is important that you understand, and follow, their directions.  Some children will need to take laxatives for several years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This treatment sometimes looks like it's not working: sometimes the soiling continues.  But it is working, it just takes some time.  If you live in England you can get help with your water bills if you get a doctor's letter and write to your water supplier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask if hypnosis will help: No, hypnosis will not help. Laxatives and diet change, as recommended by your doctor, will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a note of caution: your child has a medical condition. Getting a second opinion if you disagree with the first doctor is a good idea.  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg89/chapter/1-Guidance&quot;&gt;Ignoring the medical advice is not a good idea&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consider&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For the purposes of this guidance, to consider child maltreatment means that maltreatment is one possible explanation for the alerting feature or is included in the differential diagnosis.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[...]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;1.3.9 Consider neglect if parents or carers fail to administer essential prescribed treatment for their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[...]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;1.3.10 Consider neglect if parents or carers repeatedly fail to attend essential follow-up appointments that are necessary for their child's health and wellbeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[...]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;1.4.11 Consider child maltreatment if a child shows encopresis (repeatedly defecating a normal stool in an inappropriate place) or repeated, deliberate smearing of faeces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-11-30T23:20:07.700" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23209" CreationDate="2015-12-01T06:27:51.023" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll partially piggy back off the suggestions made in the comments while adding a bit of my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These things do ebb and flow, it's very likely that your children are just at a stage where they want to spend more time with the father than mother. You can probably look back at the history of interactions with both children and identify other times where this was the case, in fact during the entire first year babies are focused on developing a deep relationship with their primary care-giver, usually their mother. A time the father may have noticed it was difficult to find some one-on-one time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Onto the last two questions,&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Is there some way to help my boys be as excited about their mom as they are about me?&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Yes, you have quite a few options actually. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Switch mom for the day. While you take care of housework and discipline let mom just spend time with the kids in a more play oriented fashion.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Make it a group thing. Schedule regular time for fun as a family, says Parents adviser Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D., a child psychologist and author of Playful Parenting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Talk up  Mom while you're playing with the kids, says Parents adviser Kyle Pruett, M.D. at Yale Child Study Center. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And,&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Does their behavior reflect on their mother's kindness and parenting ability in any way?&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;From research I've done previously on this subject, and other posters here seem to believe that this really isn't a reflection of her abilities, especially as you describe them. I did find this little gem,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In fact, when your child plays favorites, it's a sign that he feels close to you. &quot;He's secure enough in your love to know that he can jilt you and still get a warm welcome back,&quot; explains Krista L. Swanson, Ph.D., a child psychologist at the Early Childhood Center at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, in Los Angeles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these articles go a bit more in-depth and offer further guidance. The first page of this article is more relevant to this particular question. &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://mom.me/parenting/5888-boys-attachments-dads-child-development/&quot;&gt;Mom.me article on healthy attachment. &lt;/a&gt; &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/favoring-one-parent/&quot;&gt;Parenting.com &quot;Favoring one parent&quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19761" LastActivityDate="2015-12-01T06:27:51.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23213" CreationDate="2015-12-01T14:12:38.087" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;To remove the &lt;em&gt;stuff&lt;/em&gt; from baby's nose you can use special suction tools designed for children. One of them is NoseFrida - there may be others with other names available in different countries, ask in your pharmacy and describe what you need. It looks more or less like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ZNQmy.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ZNQmy.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;NoseFrida&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are different versions of those - most of them you use with your mouth, some even are connected to a vacuum cleaner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not really useful you now, but important later on - remember to show your child that the Frida is a good thing. The feeling is not pleasant and your baby will not like it. Funny faces, sounds, sucking wife/husband's nose with it may make your baby less fearful. My daughter enjoyed me raising the Frida and doing an elephant sound. We've also always showed her what we sucked from her nose, so that she knew what we were doing and why. And we told her to breathe through her nose immediately after, so that she noticed it's cleaner and easier to breathe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to remember is to &lt;strong&gt;keep your home humid&lt;/strong&gt; - or at least the room where the baby sleeps. If you have very low humidity, the nose will get stuffed and the baby's breathing comfort will decrease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Saline spray&lt;/strong&gt; can help get rid of already present and dry phlegm. Apply it, wait a few minutes, then try to suck the phlegm away. Repeat if necessary. If used correctly, it is perfectly safe for even the smallest babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="40949" LastEditDate="2021-04-15T06:25:24.120" LastActivityDate="2021-04-15T06:25:24.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23225" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-01T14:41:20.817" Score="7" ViewCount="3609" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 9 years old, and is very upset that he can't see his dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he was 4 my ex (who was my husband at the time) adopted him. Soon after we divorced. At first he was very consistent in my son's life. As the time went by he slowed down and then came to a stop in seeing my son. He got into drugs went over a year without seeing him. Then I started letting him again. Now nothing; he's gone again. Recently my ex has been asking me to come see him. My son loves him more than anything and is always asking if he can see him and I just say no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: should I let him? Is it better for my son to see his father every now and then never knowing when or not at all? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help because seeing my son hurt is the worst thing I've ever felt in my life!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20024" LastEditorDisplayName="user19912" LastEditDate="2015-12-01T16:26:34.917" LastActivityDate="2021-12-17T21:14:24.930" Title="Should I let my son see his dad" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23225" CreationDate="2015-12-01T15:32:06.490" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You love your son, and so you don't want to see him hurt.  And you can tell that your son hurts because he can't see his adoptive father.  But you also want to protect your son from harm, and you know that allowing your son to see his father could harm your son, or could cause your son to be upset when the father is inconsistent with visits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do allow your son to see his father you will want to put some strict rules in place.  Your ex must be sober when your son is present.  Your ex should be consistent with meeting times.  Your ex should show you what activities are planned before the meetings happen. You explain that if your ex does anything to harm the child, or put the child at risk of harm that the meetings either stop or happen under strict supervision (and the father pays for that supervision). You explain to your ex that continued contact with the child can only happen if these things happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also need to be able to talk to your son about why you are protecting him from harm.  You love him very much.  It's not safe for him to be around people who are drunk or on drugs.  And you don't want him to be upset when his father doesn't go to meetings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could talk to your son, and ask him to come up with some rules that the father must obey.  This might include things like &quot;if you say you're going to turn up you have to turn up&quot;, or &quot;you must not be drunk when you're with me&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way you allow your child to see his father, and you make it very clear if meetings don't happen that it is the fault of the father not turning up, and not you banning meetings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a difficult situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-01T15:32:06.490" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23228" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-01T19:51:33.097" Score="0" ViewCount="593" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, 16, has a good GPA in high school but his social life is nonexistent outside of his computer. Every suggestion I've made to him results in a &quot;No.&quot; He doesn't like to go out with his dad, go shopping, or go to the gym. He consistently screams in my face when I try and talk to him. I have asked him to go see a therapist, but he said, &quot;No.&quot; I don't know what to do. He is always playing games on his computer. The time he spends on his computer is all-consuming. He doesn't do anything else with his time outside of school. I've tried taking the computer away from him, but he'll only transition to spending all his time on his phone. If I take his phone away, in an attempt to make him more active, he just goes to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20029" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2015-12-01T21:30:31.710" LastActivityDate="2017-11-27T05:04:44.343" Title="What can I do about my teenagers behavior?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-12-04T18:55:33.843" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23213" CreationDate="2015-12-01T22:45:14.830" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've dealt with this often with our newest little guy, and follow the advice given to us by his pediatrician and our oldest's from when he was a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use a simple saline solution, with a container designed for use on infants/children. They're usually in small metal containers with a press-to-release, funnel-shaped nozzle. The kinds for adults generally drip as soon as they're upside-down, and so don't work well with applying to someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/xut5D.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/xut5D.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apply the solution in one nostril, wait a few moments, and then remove with a suction device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use cheap bulb syringes. We have tried other types of nasal aspirators, but have found them to be bulky, inconsistent, or just not effective when trying to handle a small infant. We have not tried any of the lung-powered/hose type devices, but they consistently have good ratings from parents that use them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When sticking something in your child's nose, keep a few things in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't stick it in too far, and try to avoid rubbing the inside of the nose with the tip of the syringe/device. You may cause irritation that makes the situation worse.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't over-suck. A few attempts or a few moments of trying will generally remove all of the snot you're going to be able to get. The stuffiness won't likely vanish completely. If you try too much, you may irritate the inside of their nose.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Realize that stuffiness doesn't just come from snot/mucus, but &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasal_congestion&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;from swollen nasal membranes&lt;/a&gt;. Removing mucus won't help reduce that swelling. Notice that the two points above are about avoiding unintentionally &lt;em&gt;increasing&lt;/em&gt; the swelling, which could make things worse.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the most part, the stuffy nose sound will be from the nasal swelling. There's not much you can do for an infant, as they aren't given anti-inflammatory or decongestant medications. You can, however, make them feel more comfortable by holding them more, adjusting humidity like @Dariusz suggests, and trying different sleeping positions for them (such as in a swing or carseat, where they can be inclined).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you notice your infant has trouble eating because of their congestion, or seems terribly uncomfortable, contact your infant's healthcare providers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-12-01T22:45:14.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23230" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-02T09:00:41.230" Score="10" ViewCount="771" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler (21 months old), like most, is not a very patient person. For example, when it's dinner time, she wants to sit in her high chair and begins whining and complaining tearfully while her food is being prepared: I'm talking about 2 or 3 minutes to microwave some veggies. When she is done with her veggies and wants her main course, it's the same whining and complaining. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that she is hungry, and the simplest solution is to give her something to eat immediately. However, waiting is an important skill to learn and I don't want to immediately give in. Not only would it teach her that whining is the way to get what she wants, but also it keeps her from understanding that in life you sometimes have to wait. I think I have already messed up by giving in too quickly or somehow reinforcing that she gets fed faster if she whines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some good ways to teach a toddler how to wait? It's not an easy skill, and I'd like to help her learn it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-12-02T15:42:09.633" LastActivityDate="2017-01-16T02:23:27.387" Title="How do you teach a toddler how to wait?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|learning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23230" CreationDate="2015-12-02T12:01:27.600" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've found that with all whining, providing temporary pleasurable distractions is key. For our 2-year old, so far stuff like &quot;Make sure your rabbits, piggies, babies, whatever dolls are also prepared for dinner, make them sit right in their own chairs, go set the table for them while our food is cooking, etc&quot; works well because she really likes to emulate the caregiver role. Of course these strategies will always need to change as they grow, up until at one point they will fully understand the explanation of how things work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some whining will always stay, no matter what you do, it's not like grownups are any different here. Just like you said, just gotta work at a tolerable quantity and fine tuning the everyday towards less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6716" LastActivityDate="2015-12-02T12:01:27.600" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23228" CreationDate="2015-12-02T12:12:37.127" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is from my experience with my brothers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they were teenagers, one of them was very outgoing, always socializing with friends, going to parties, bringing people home... The other one was the opposite: his main source of entertainment were videogames and computer. He always preferred to stay at home and rarely we saw him with friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nowadays, the first has had problems with alcohol and drugs, caused by joining the wrong people while the second is a normal introvert person that works with computers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a bit exagerated but the point is that computers are not bad &lt;em&gt;per se&lt;/em&gt; and sometimes when trying to impose our opinion we are causing the opposite effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19142" LastActivityDate="2015-12-02T12:12:37.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23228" CreationDate="2015-12-02T15:32:31.683" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;How long has he behaved this way?  My 16 year old son behaved just like yours – he was diagnosed with a mild form of chronic depression called Dysthymia.  Maybe you could have your son’s pediatrician talk to him about trying therapy.  My son refused help when I suggested it but reluctantly agreed to try counselling after talking to his doctor.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are his parent and the best judge if something is not normal. If you feel there is something wrong then do what you can to get professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16807" LastActivityDate="2015-12-02T15:32:31.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23230" CreationDate="2015-12-02T15:49:18.240" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;21 months is young to truly understand waiting, but it's not too young to get a head start.  Of course, this is a balancing act: teaching her to wait is a good thing, but too much waiting may make things spiral out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Key to teaching things like this is helping her get a complete understanding of &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she is waiting, coupled with an idea of &lt;em&gt;how long&lt;/em&gt;.  I would show my son the microwave, for example, and point out the food spinning on the turntable; then I'd tell him that when the lights show a zero on the timer, and the microwave beeps, his food is ready!  21 months is old enough to recognize a zero if you show it to her a few times; and watching a turntable on a microwave is fun for kids, at least for a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you can show her the uncooked food, and let her eat a bite (if it's safe to do so).  My kids have tasted uncooked pasta, frozen almost every vegetable, uncooked corn on the cob - and some of them they even like.  But, they also understand why we cook them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;How long&quot; is often the harder part, really, and unless you're using a microwave you probably don't have an easy way to tell.  Setting a timer - particularly if you have an iPad/iPhone/smartphone/etc. with a visual timer (iPhone is a circle that slowly fills, for example) - can help her get a good idea of how long &quot;five minutes&quot; is.  Hourglass style timers are also good for that.  Also using a timer in other parts of life - how long she can watch TV for, how long until bed, how long to brush her teeth for, etc. - can get her used to different lengths of time and having some idea of how long &quot;five minutes&quot; is.  Otherwise, &quot;five minutes&quot; seems like forever - because it's an unknown quantity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-12-02T15:49:18.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23230" CreationDate="2015-12-02T16:52:24.460" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Think about what you do when you have to wait in line. You read, talk to yourself, look around. Young kid can't read, can't talk to themselves, and there might be nothing interesting to look at. Also, if they don't understand the process you are doing, they'll be wondering why it takes so long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I do (for example) during food time is to explain everything like a chef on t.v. Keeps the kid entertained, let them learn new words and how things works. I also like to ask question &quot;hmmm.. the vegetable are cold. Where should I put them to warm them up?&quot; and after a few times he will point at the microwave or name it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a while it'll start to be a habit. When you go hiking, you'll narrate what you are doing before putting her in the backpack. This will also teach the toddler about processes. It's boring and repetitive for adults but it's worth it. It shouldn't be a battle of will, but a learning experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2015-12-02T16:52:24.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23185" CreationDate="2015-12-03T04:16:58.897" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, in my experience, businesses do not approach you for bringing in food or drinks for infants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has included bottle breast milk, juice, water, crackers, treats, fruit snacks, meal/snack squeeze pouches, and much more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My rule of thumb is that if my child is not old enough to be charged admission, then the rules prohibiting outside food and drink don't apply.&lt;/strong&gt; However, even for my toddler we still make sure to carry certain snacks on hand in the diaper bag to ensure his dietary requirements are met. We can't guarantee vendors will have the proper food, or that we'll be able to get it soon enough to sate him. For instance, when we visited the zoo, it could be a long walk between water fountains.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can check with the business beforehand, but &lt;strong&gt;I'd rather ask forgiveness than permission in this case&lt;/strong&gt;. I find it very unlikely that most employees will approach you for feeding your young child, even if their business policy says otherwise. I think reasonable people will recognize that it's not something worth confronting a customer about. So, I would not plan around the exception.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2015-12-03T04:16:58.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23237" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23239" CreationDate="2015-12-03T11:06:44.587" Score="8" ViewCount="4812" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cisv.org/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;CISV&lt;/a&gt; is a seasoned organization which stages (among other activities) &lt;code&gt;villages&lt;/code&gt;: 28 days-long exchanges for children aged 10 coming from all the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am considering letting my child take part in an exchange. The exchange itself looks very promising. I took part to a couple of meetings with the local branch of the organization: a technical one about exchanges dates, destinations and so on, another meeting to let newcomers like me get acquainted with other parents and with the organization.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But while I am very supportive of exchanges, CISV looks strange to me because it is a not-for-profit organization, its aims are really too vague (peace, people's friendship) and from outside there are some similarities to a sect. Moreover CISV is very elitist (I met only upper class international-minded people very far from the working class).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: CISV raised some suspicions in me. Can you please confirm for me it is not a sect? And about elitism?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20036" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-03T12:56:42.867" LastActivityDate="2019-12-12T09:33:04.523" Title="CISV: should I trust?" Tags="|pre-teen|travel|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23238" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23240" CreationDate="2015-12-03T12:04:25.177" Score="0" ViewCount="1017" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a pregnant first time mum so no experience with 5 year olds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I babysat for my 5- and 2-year-old nieces last night. They are pretty good when my brother is there but as soon as he leaves there's a change in their playing etc. Last night they got dressed for bed. They were playing in their bedroom which was fine, gave me peace and quiet and occasionally coming into the lounge, playing excitably at 6.30 pm and not respecting their elders (me). I sent to to the bedroom to play which was fine with them. The 5-year-old wet her pants which is a bit unacceptable as she shouldn't be doing this.  Anyway, I got her changed into fresh clothes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next thing they are in the kitchen where I noticed it got quiet. They had been pinching little chocolate balls from the work top so I moved the chocolate to the back of the work top where they shouldn't have been able to reach but I was wrong. This time I caught the 2-year-old with a ball in her hand which I took off of her and told them off yet again for the night. Next thing they are out of their bed clothes and playing in their bathers! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By this point I had had enough. They weren't listening to me and were just out of control. So I thought okay leave this for my brother to see. He was fuming when he got in and saw them disrespecting and not listening to me and just doing as they please without listening to me. They must think they can get away with murder when with me, despite me shouting at the top of my voice. My niece later accused me while my brother was out of the room of stealing the chocolate! What a bloody nerve of this child and disrespectful to me. They obviously don't see me as a threat right?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice on how to control them as I am starting to not want to babysit them.  I babysit them every Wednesday while my brother is out for an hour playing football.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20037" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-31T18:05:11.153" LastActivityDate="2018-10-31T18:05:11.153" Title="How to control my 2- and 5-year-old nieces, who are out of control and don't listen to me, when I babysit them?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|primary-schooler|family|babysitting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23237" CreationDate="2015-12-03T12:27:35.807" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;CISV - the name used to be &quot;Children's International Summer Villages&quot; - is a partnership organisation of &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.unesco.org/&quot;&gt;UNESCO&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UNESCO is a United nations organisation that promotes peace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very unlikely that a partner organisation of UNESCO would be a sect or a cult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wikipedia has &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CISV_International&quot;&gt;some information about CISV&lt;/a&gt;.  The Wikipedia page does not list any criticism, and the talk page and the history of the talk page does not list any criticism.  You would expect to see evidence on Wikipedia if CISV was a sect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to check different language versions of Wikipedia to see if there is any criticism there.  You might want to search Google to see if there are any news reports from your country about problems with CISV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also ask about &quot;elitism&quot;.  It's true that poor parents often do not make use of organisations like this.  I'm not sure there's much you can do about that.  Your child will meet other people in other situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-03T12:27:35.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23238" CreationDate="2015-12-03T12:34:17.583" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;It kind of sounds like (in my humble opinion) you have two &quot;things&quot; that aren't going in your favor and is encouraging this naughty behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You left them to occupy themselves for a bit too long. At 5 kids can certainly play on their own for a little bit, but not really at 2. This means the 2yo is going to follow the 5yo's lead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 5yo was likely testing boundaries to see what she could get into because you weren't looking right at her and shes probably just learning how to be a bit sneaky (as in walk quietly and convince her sister to shush for chocolate).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be offended, this is developmentally normal. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You don't seem to provide any consequences besides yelling at them. All humans and animals tend to tune out yelling when they hear it regularly. Save the loud voice for dangerous moments like &quot;Do not run into that road..&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they are out of sight and have no consequences what do they do? Pinch some delicious chocolate from the counter top. Can't say I haven't swiped an extra cookie when no one was looking. So what to do about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Provide guided activities.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They can't sneak into the kitchen for sweets if everyone is working on a puzzle (or reading, or coloring..) now can they?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its very tempting to want to send them to their room to play so you can get some quiet time, but they just aren't at that age yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping them occupied in the same room as yourself could eliminate some of the problems before they start. It will also help them bond with you so that they are inclined to behave because they want to please you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talk to the parents about how YOU are supposed to discipline their kids.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get on the same page with mom and dad. The age old tacit of &quot;Wait until your father gets home&quot; is not effective for the person who has to spend the whole day with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it makes dad has to be the disciplinarian as soon as he walks through the door. Who wants to be feared as soon as they get home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead ask the parents what they already do, ask them for permission to do it, and provide consistent consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the parents do time out, then when they disobey, give a time out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last bonus tip: &lt;strong&gt;Get temptation out of the way.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they already got into the chocolate once, they may try to do it again. After you notice an issue (or before its an issue if possible) get things the cannot have completely out of access.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its not always possible, but sometimes you can avoid the fight all together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2015-12-03T12:34:17.583" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23244" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-03T16:52:00.243" Score="2" ViewCount="144" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you control a hyperactive child?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My niece who is a 5 year old is very hyperactive; it's unbelievable and it's hard to get her to settle and do something.  If she does a puzzle or plays a game then she ends up moving away from that and finds another distraction and won't stay with one thing for too long. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20037" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-03T17:24:25.060" LastActivityDate="2015-12-03T17:24:25.060" Title="How do you control a hyperactive child?" Tags="|pre-schooler|attention|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23244" CreationDate="2015-12-03T17:05:29.057" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;High energy is natural. It means you're doing a good job. Your niece has proper nutrition and rest. You need to wear that kid out. Take them to the park or an indoor play area. If they are afraid or passive, get involved. Chase the child around, play tag, hide and seek. If you can, find some nature and take them for a walk outside in the dirt and wilderness. Barring that, take her for a walk around the neighborhood. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11442" LastActivityDate="2015-12-03T17:05:29.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18760" CreationDate="2015-12-03T21:10:46.523" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are important distinctions to be made, that are getting glossed over. The most problematic phrase (to me) in your question is &quot;impose limits to those interests&quot;. Unless the &quot;interest&quot; itself is dangerous (illegal, harmful), the answer is a big DON'T. It's not the INTEREST that is the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there is only so much time, and there are necessarily competing &quot;interests&quot;/obligations. You can demand that some other interest get some attention as well (and at certain times if there are scheduling issues). But don't ration or terminate the time spent on the primary interest directly. Leave how to manage the time to the child as much as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastActivityDate="2015-12-03T21:10:46.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18760" CreationDate="2015-12-03T22:21:56.103" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I would approach it more like planned experiences so they know it's coming ahead of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a software developer, it would be ridiculous and counter-productive to have someone randomly inject some unrelated activity in the middle of my focus. Like music, or any passion, programming can be developed in chunks with quantifiable goals. To pull you out in the middle of one of those chunks could mean having to start over when you resume. If the child is excelling in an area of interest, then I would let them move at their own pace. If you suggest an activity or some kind of interjection, ask if they would be interested in doing so on a specific day or time so they know that time will be reserved. If they say no, maybe it's better to not stress it further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-12-03T22:21:56.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23228" CreationDate="2015-12-04T01:06:07.213" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is an interesting phenomenon that I have observed in my 13 year old.  The more time he spends on the computer the more irritable and antisocial he becomes and the more resentful of being asked to do anything around the house.  Let him have unrestricted computer time and he becomes Mr. Sullen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Telling him that he has to &quot;earn&quot; computer time both improves his attitude and makes him more positive of life in general.  Quite unexpected; I would have predicted that he would be resentful of having to earn the time.  I suspect it is because he knows that the time he gets on the computer now is totally his; he doesn't have to sneak it or steal it, and he knows that we are totally okay with him being on it.  No guilt and no pressure and no fear that we will come in and try to make him stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also may have to do with having limits.  Kids like having limits.  They want to be able to depend on something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't guess at the effects of having him &quot;pay&quot; for computer/phone time with time spent with his family.  Doesn't sound like it would be a good thing; family time ought to be considered a reward rather than a chore, but the together time could be part of a chore which would earn him computer time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The screaming issue sounds more serious...if my son ever screamed at me because he wanted to play on his computer rather than do as he was told, his computer would get locked down for a week. (You can use parental controls to lock down a computer, only allowing access at certain times on certain days).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son started having &quot;attitude&quot; with me, my husband and I sat him down and had a serious, non-emotional talk with him.  (It's important not to be angry when you have it, and commit to being firm but not emotionally reactive to his attitude, even if it gets bad)  We explained to him that we had seen a behavior that was disturbing to us, namely that the more time he spent on the computer the worse his attitude was.  We asked him if he would be able to change that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He said he would, of course, but that didn't last a day.  Then we told him that we were sorry but if he wasn't able to keep a good attitude due to too much computer playing, the computer would have to go.  After that, his computer time was reduced to zero and he had to earn every hour.  It didn't even take a day before his attitude became very positive, which surprised us greatly.  It's been many months since then and his sullens haven't returned, even though we have stopped monitoring his computer use so closely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son is older than mine, and every child is different, but it's thing to try.  If his habits are entrenched don't expect instant changes, but it may be that having 1 hour a day of completely uncontested computer time would be a more desirable outcome than having three hours during which he is always anticipating that someone is going to interrupt him.  If you decide to put it in play, give him a month or two before thinking about relaxing the rules.  And expect backsliding once you do relax the rules; send him back to ground zero when he backslides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worrying that he isn't &quot;social&quot; is probably not productive.  Some kids just aren't, and if they aren't, you can make them go places but you can't make them enjoy it.  It isn't unreasonable to expect him to participate in family related activities, as long as all you require of him is participation without &quot;attitude&quot;, and not that he expresses an &quot;enjoyment&quot; that he doesn't feel.  That's not something you can reasonably demand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2015-12-04T01:06:07.213" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6074" CreationDate="2015-12-04T07:03:11.570" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I notice a lot of parents with improperly installed loose bases that move around during normal driving. I've even seen parents use the seat belt on the car seat while also using the base because their base is so loose, which is safer but unnecessary. The bases were created for the parents' convenience in taking the child in and out of the car while enabling them to remain in the carrier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never took the base of my daughter's car seat out of my car. When we traveled in another car, I used the seat belt to strap in the carrier itself using the seat belt slits as directed in the instructions that came with the seat. I've never seen an infant seat without the those slits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes a lot of work to get those bases in properly - tight enough that the seat doesn't move with normal pressure; they really weren't meant to be transferred from car to car. The car seats themselves were created to work without the base and most often are safer than the set-ups I see many parents use.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20045" LastEditorUserId="20045" LastEditDate="2015-12-04T07:16:17.023" LastActivityDate="2015-12-04T07:16:17.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23228" CreationDate="2015-12-04T15:25:25.247" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder, how often do you have a talk with your son in which he hears &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt; praise and acceptance?  Please do not misunderstand me.  I have four children, and they know that I do not shy away from reprimanding them verbally or with stronger consequences.  And I know that sometimes even the most positive and encouraging parent has a kid that just does not seem to respond.  So I am not trying to put this on you.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I commend you for pushing him out of his comfort zone, especially in getting away from electronics and out into the real world, to interact with people.  But just in case this is a factor, I am encouraging you to add a positive encouragement factor to the other answers you get here.  The next time you talk to your son, say to him &quot;son, you are so smart.  You are always getting good grades, and I really appreciate that I don't have to worry about that,&quot; and give him a hug.  Nothing else - no &quot;if only....&quot; or &quot;but ...&quot;.  Do not turn it into an excuse to get in an item of correction.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;In fact, if your interactions with him have been mostly negative for a while, for the next several days, even a week, do not allow yourself to correct him on anything, only to give him praise, encouragement, and acceptance.  Tell him you love him, you think he is awesome, and you appreciate his grades and anything else you can think of that is positive.  Invite him out to get ice-cream, and do not say anything unless it is recalling a funny incident between you two, or talking about plans for christmas, or what he wants for a gift.  And if he says a new game console, resist the temptation to criticize his addiction to electronics.  Only, when you invite him out, just you and him, it is ok to ask him to leave his phone or tablet behind at home, tell him he can get back to it as soon as you get back home, and that it will only be a little while.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;The thing is, if you do this, your son will start becoming addicted to your attention and approval.  More than just fearing your correction or your taking away his electronics, he will start getting hooked on those words of praise.  This is a much more powerful motivator than fear or yelling matches.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;When I talk to my kids, I can see that they hang on my every word.  When I correct them for something they have done wrong, I can see they take it deep into their heart.  But I am sure that is because their heart is completely open to me.  They want to hear from me, and take in what I say, because they know nine times out of ten, that will be words of appreciation and acceptance.  Not a day goes by that I do not tell them I love them, I think they are awesome, and I appreciate specific good things I see in them.  I look for their gifts and express my amazement at them.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;My one son (I have three daughters also) is the poster child for strong willed kids.  I have read books on strong willed children, and the examples they give are nothing compared to the examples I have from my kid.  My son makes those kids look like compliant pansies.  But I have taken that strength of will as a neutral thing and encouraged him about it. Showing him how there are good things, very important things in life to be stubborn about, and how great men always tend to be very stubborn men - only they learn how to be stubborn in a kind way and what things are worthwhile being stubborn about.  He is also very smart and gets straight A's.  He has a girlfriend and some good friends at school.  Enjoys video games more than I would like, but is also constantly reading books (the old kind - made of paper).  Today we received yet more recruitment letters from Stanford and Vanderbilt.  I love to brag on my boy.  But here is the thing.   A couple of weeks back, on the way home from school, my son told me I was his best friend.  Unless you are a dad and have heard your son say that to you, you cannot know how that feels.  To know that your awesomely smart, and awesomely stubborn son looks at you and thinks you are his best pal.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;But, you only get that if your child knows that you are his biggest fan, his best advocate.  If he needed a recommendation from someone in his family, if you are the first person he would immediately think of.  If the moment he sees you, he thinks (even subconsciously) &quot;I am about to get some &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt;&quot;.  Then, your son will be moldable to you.  Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to redirect his personality, and any correction will be liable to be undone the minute he is out of your sight.  That is the other thing about a child being addicted to your love, praise and approval - it works even when you are not around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2017-11-27T05:04:44.343" LastActivityDate="2017-11-27T05:04:44.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23251" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24398" CreationDate="2015-12-04T15:26:29.707" Score="-1" ViewCount="432" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been searching this topic on internet but all of them were related to adults, but I would like to incentivete, estimulate my kid photographic memory, I found this skill very useful for other people when I was in college.&#xA;My kid is a toddler, so she doesn't read yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19842" LastEditorUserId="19842" LastEditDate="2016-03-22T18:10:41.437" LastActivityDate="2016-03-22T18:10:41.437" Title="Develop a kid's photographic memory" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2016-03-17T15:59:02.580" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23253" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23255" CreationDate="2015-12-04T19:02:36.560" Score="2" ViewCount="174" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five-year-old daughter has been recently refusing to eat on her own and we have to chase her for eating. We have to sit with her for her eating. She is very slow eater and her meal time lasts for a long time after the rest of family members have finished their meals. It takes a lot of time and we have to offer lots of incentives to encourage her to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no concern from her doctor, however, she is within lower 5th percent of her growth as her same aged peers and her body frame is small as from her birth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20052" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-05T21:41:26.770" LastActivityDate="2015-12-05T21:41:26.770" Title="My daughter is not eating on her own" Tags="|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23254" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-04T19:54:59.410" Score="8" ViewCount="20504" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 26 weeks along. While sitting down on the bed, I lost my balance which led to my tummy tightening as I re-gained my balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can the tightening of abdominal muscles harm my baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20054" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2019-07-11T12:08:41.870" LastActivityDate="2022-02-26T07:08:43.893" Title="Can tummy tightening cause harm to the baby in the womb?" Tags="|health|safety|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23255" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23253" CreationDate="2015-12-04T20:00:53.823" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, slow eating is a &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; thing for the most part.  Slow eating lets your body more effectively adjust to the &quot;I'm full&quot; signals (as those take some time to propagate).  Obviously your daughter isn't concerned about this at the moment - but later in life, having the habit of eating slowly can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/slow-down-you-eat-too-fast&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;lead to a healthier weight&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids very often eat slowly - either because their mouths aren't as strong at chewing, or because their stomachs are smaller, or just because they like to.  I encourage my younger son (2.5) to eat slowly (as he prefers to), and just give him a bit more attention.  I don't require my older son stay at the table the whole time, but I try to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, I would suggest that for most children, the best incentive to eat is &lt;em&gt;hunger&lt;/em&gt;.  She should eat when she's hungry, and not when she's not hungry.  This assumes she overall eats sufficient calories, over the long term; most children ultimately will.  Making it a battle doesn't help much other than to encourage her to &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; eat (to exert some control).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're concerned that she's not eating enough to be healthy, then I would talk to your pediatrician; she/he can tell you if it's a concern based on observation and measurement of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2015-12-04T20:00:53.823" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23253" CreationDate="2015-12-04T22:29:07.397" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like both my daughters and the entirety of the last 5 years of our lives. Let me tell you what I have learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids love to be engaged and something simple like sitting in a chair, being still, and taking bits of food one by one may very well be like any sane adult sitting in a 4 hour insurance seminar. If they're wiggling around, getting up and running, and generally being insane, then maybe food time isn't as enjoyable as they need it to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not suggesting you do this because apparently people have problems with my particular style of entertainment - but I have found that my daughters love the detailed stories of the pancake people and the lake of syrup blood (or whatever food they're eating at the moment). As I tell the stories, I use their names, saying something like &quot;the Sally monster then charged the village of the pancake lords, huffing and shining her teeth at their chief. One by one she took a tiny bite of each of them just to warn them what would happen if they tried to escape her wrath...&quot; and yeah I'm pretty graphic with them but for the sake of illustration I'm not going to tone it down. Point is they love it when it's their turn to take a bite of the pancake huts, dip pancakes into the lake of syrup blood, or chomp down the mighty broccoli forest. As they grew they began telling me the stories too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I came to this because asking them about school, and the routines of life would receive short, vague answers and could never sustain the length of a meal. But making up stories of food people always lasts for me. I don't have to do it every time. Some times I can just put a single candy corn in front of them and tell them every time they bite their food the candy corn's rope is pulled closer to them and they can eat it when it crosses some line. Sometimes they just eat on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The general idea is that food time can be a chore if it is a constant battle. And through my many wars I have found a way to convert the battle into a story about the battle. And they eat now. Often on their own, but often they want stories. I am happy about that because I know some day they will no longer want my stories and they may be having their own in their minds while they eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't have to be airplanes and choo choo trains. It can be as simple as a goofy face every time they take a bite. But engagement was my answer and I am confident in their ability to feast upon the flesh of the raspberry village on their own without it turning into the destruction of the house in a movie like chase scene... been there before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many sources relating to the benefits of family meals. One that links to many is this:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thescramble.com/family-dinner-challenge-statistics/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.thescramble.com/family-dinner-challenge-statistics/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that's making the assumption you're not doing this already. Hard to tell. It can be family meal time AND the total chaos at the same time. I know. Tune it to your liking. Stories of feasting savagery work for me. Maybe tales of princesses or ninja turtles would work for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2015-12-04T22:29:07.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23254" CreationDate="2015-12-05T01:55:52.597" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your baby can't be injured by temporarily tightening your abdominal muscles while struggling to regain balance at any stage of a normal pregnancy (and the vast, vast majority of pregnancies are &quot;normal&quot;; if not, they are called high-risk pregnancies and the patient is given specific instructions regarding levels of activity.) Even in most high-risk pregnancies, I can't imagine the circumstances you describe hurting the fetus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Millions upon millions of mothers have been stretching, tightening, squeezing, bumping, and even sleeping on their bellies for thousands of years without discernible bad outcomes for their babies. Falls later in the pregnancy, though, are another matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be helpful (or it might not; I hope it is) to look at what babies survive and what kind of trauma causes harm to babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The leading cause of trauma-related death of fetuses is motor vehicle accidents (~85%), followed by domestic violence, then penetrating injuries (stab wounds, gun shots, etc.) As a general rule, the later the pregnancy, the more at risk the fetus is from these kids of injuries (10-15% in the first trimester and 50-54% in the third trimester.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that trauma is also the leading cause of maternal death during pregnancy as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;With life threatening trauma a 50% fetal loss rate exists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's an amazing statement; it means that even when the mother is so badly injured that her life is in danger, the fetus survives 50% of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In the case of gunshot wounds to the pregnant abdomen, overall maternal mortality is low (3.9%). Fetal mortality, on the other hand, is high, ranging between 40 and 70%. (Some studies differ with this number.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's also an amazing statement; it means that even when the pregnant woman has been shot in the abdomen, the baby survives from 30-60% of the time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of 372 pregnant women admitted to Level I/II trauma centers (the highest level trauma care, where people in bad accidents people get flown to for treatment)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;84% had blunt injuries and 16% had penetrating injuries. &lt;em&gt;There were 14 maternal deaths (3.8%) and 35 fetal deaths (9.4%).&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is, the injuries were so bad, that for every 2.4 babies who died, one woman also died.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From this, it's pretty clear that for a baby to die, the injury to the female is usually serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a slightly skewed view, though. When women die from trauma, often the babies do as well; that is, a cesarean section doesn't save many of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's pretty safe to say minor injuries are unlikely to affect the fetus adversely, with an important exception: falls. Pregnant women are more likely to fall, and the farther a woman is along in the pregnancy, the more likely she is to sustain an injury to the uterus/placenta which might cause the fetus harm from a fall. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The most common harmful outcome is placental abruption.&lt;/em&gt; The uterus is relatively elastic, while the placenta is not. Acceleration-deceleration injuries (MVAs and falls) result in shearing forces that may separate the placenta from the uterus - partly or completely - this is placental abruption. The most common signs of abruption are painful contractions with vaginal bleeding (for small tears, bleeding might not occur, but the pain will be there.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;After a fall, the most common complication is premature onset of labor&lt;/em&gt; where, in one study, 95% of cases produced a viable child. Even with placental abruption, if detected and treated early, the results are good for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;All statistics quoted are arguable because of lack of consistent categorization and reporting practices.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0889854507000526&quot;&gt;Trauma in Pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.trauma.org/archive/resus/pregnancytrauma.html&quot;&gt;Management of the Injured Pregnant Patient&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=194294&quot;&gt;Fetal Deaths Related to Maternal Injury&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/patientinstructions/000605.htm&quot;&gt;Placenta abruptio&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-05T12:49:09.043" LastActivityDate="2015-12-05T12:49:09.043" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23259" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23274" CreationDate="2015-12-05T03:22:05.467" Score="2" ViewCount="219" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little one (14 weeks old) gets sleepy at around 7:30pm and sleeps till about 7am, broken into 3 sections. He is breast fed, no pumping. We have not tried any sleep training. He sleeps in his crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first section (7pm to midnight), he sleeps pretty solidly, might wake up once to feed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second section is where we are having the problem. Between midnight and 4am he is awake almost every hour. We usually try giving him the pacifier, and if that does seem to calm him down, we feed him. My wife side feeds him on the bed, because it is impossible to calm him down any other way and get him to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The third section (4am to 7am) he sleeps through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are struggling with him waking up basically every hour between midnight and 4-5am. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-05T16:27:22.983" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T11:34:32.127" Title="frequent awake frequency between midnight and 4am" Tags="|sleep|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23260" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-05T08:16:30.833" Score="4" ViewCount="433" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is normal for the umbilical stump? What signs would need further attention?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20060" LastEditorDisplayName="user19912" LastEditDate="2015-12-08T13:28:45.683" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T19:13:40.323" Title="When would I need to seek further help about my child's umbilical stump?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23237" CreationDate="2015-12-05T17:19:22.737" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been a part of CISV for over 15 years and involved with many programmes, unfortunately not interchange but I do know several people who have participated in interchange and found it very enjoyable and rewarding. The skills I have learnt from CISV have been invaluable and I have enjoyed the rewarding activities I have been lucky enough to participate in. I have also met so many wonderful people who 15 years later i am still in contact with from around the world.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;CISV is in no way sect it is a volunteer led organisation. Whilst you may feel the aims are vague every activity is very well structured and must adhere to the charity's framework. The organisation itself is also very well structured and has good training for all volunteers leading any activities. Every activity is evaluated both by staff and participants to ensure it was a productive activity, head office receive all of the evaluations are carefully monitor these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;CISV Great Britain is currently working to widen our participation with lower income families, as many of CISV's activities are international it is difficult for lower income families to raise the funds to participate. However these upper class families bring a lot to these activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any more questions I'm sure anyone at the branch that is running the interchange would be more than happy to speak to you about your concerns. I understand that sending your child away for a long period of time with an unfamiliar organisation is unsettling but it will be a worthwhile experience for your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also find it useful to look at the website &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cisv.org/cisv-programmes/interchange/&quot;&gt;http://www.cisv.org/cisv-programmes/interchange/&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20064" LastActivityDate="2015-12-05T17:19:22.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23264" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23265" CreationDate="2015-12-05T17:30:10.867" Score="3" ViewCount="17643" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm thinking about to buy xbox for my daughter 7-year birthday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I'm worry a little bit that it can be too early for this age and maybe it's better to wait?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think playing is good for brain development and it's better than watching TV for example. She has some game experience on iPad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But from other side I'm afraid of game addition, which my older son probably has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3920" LastEditorUserId="3920" LastEditDate="2015-12-05T19:51:27.153" LastActivityDate="2018-12-10T11:29:15.750" Title="At what age child can get a game console?" Tags="|age-appropriate|video-games|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23264" CreationDate="2015-12-05T20:28:17.867" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;7+ seems like a good age, but obviously that's &lt;em&gt;regulated&lt;/em&gt; gaming. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;A CONSOLE IS NOT A CHILDMINDER&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got my first console (a Sega MegaDrive) at around that age. The great advantage of starting at about that time is that you're not dealing with &quot;first exposure&quot; in the middle of that critical 12-16 exam period, and you're not trying to combine a major shift in their leisure time with good old adolescent rebellion. Basically, you're still at the stage where, when you say the game has to end, you have the automatic authority to end it in a way that just doesn't apply in the same way when they're 15.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two major aspects spring to mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2010/11/08/full-circle&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Parents should parent&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. If you don't know the kind of games your child is playing, then you are failing as a parent. Ideally, you want the majority of their game-playing time to be a shared experience with you. This also means that you should know what are good stopping points and when it's appropriate to march over and switch off the console without killing an hour of progress. At the very least, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2015/04/08/i-spoke-at-our-pta-about-games&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;you want to do the research so you're not helpless&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'm treating this as an offline-play experience. Frankly, the correct age for someone to be allowed to play online is &quot;whenever they grow up&quot;, and having foolishly turned the speakers on before, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/11/10&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;I've learned that some people never reach that age&lt;/a&gt;. At the very least, you should be regulating who she's allowed to play with, and what level of interaction she's allowed (e.g. just playing co-op vs. having headphones on, listening to the gentle sound of sexual harassment).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On videogame &quot;addiction&quot; (btw, the correct/more helpful term is compulsion), there's a big difference between video games being your main escape from the problems of your day and true compulsive behaviour. To be honest, most of the evidence suggest that when people talk about &quot;videogame addiction&quot;, it's masking something more fundamental like depression or social anxiety. The best thing you can do there is, again, &lt;em&gt;parent&lt;/em&gt;. If you are involved in your children's gameplaying experience, you're better able to monitor how they're interacting with games and what they're getting from it. For example, if they're involved in a group activity (e.g. 4th player in a 4-person raid), then they may be being pressured to play even when they'd rather be done. Which is something that, as a parent, you should be helping them to navigate, in the same way you would with non-digital peer pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a brilliant series of &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/user/ExtraCreditz/search?query=addiction&amp;amp;spfreload=10&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;video articles on Gaming Addiction on the Extra Credits site&lt;/a&gt; that might be worth watching if you're genuinely concerned about your daughter's future or your son's present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if you take nothing else, as I said above, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;A CONSOLE IS NOT A CHILDMINDER&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2015-12-05T20:46:57.707" LastActivityDate="2015-12-05T20:46:57.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23188" CreationDate="2015-12-05T22:42:27.653" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems one particularly upsetting problem for you is the competition between you and the other aunt/uncle couple about who would handle the niece better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You probably can't see it, but it's obvious to any outsider that you are comparing what you are &lt;strong&gt;actually&lt;/strong&gt; doing with what the other couple is &lt;strong&gt;promising&lt;/strong&gt;. I can tell you that it is thousand times easier to be an excellent parent if you don't actually have to be one. It's very easy for them to make all kinds of claims; if they actually had the niece living with them permanently that would be another matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't actually think you should send your niece to them, because it will be a huge disappointment for her. However, the next time they brag about their parenting skills you just ask them when they want the niece to move in with them. You can be sure they will come up with all kinds of reasons why this isn't possible. Because parenting would be much more difficult for them when it is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; job. If they had any real parenting skills, they would do anything they can to make your job easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the niece says about how the other couple would act better if she lived with them, for example if she said &quot;they would know how to deal with my mood swings&quot;, you answer &quot;so would we if you lived with them and not with us. It's very easy to handle your mood swings when you are X miles away as they are. It's more difficult when we live in the same home. Think if you really believe them or if they are just bragging. If you believe them, and you want to move in with them, we will of course support your decision and not try to stop you. But otherwise, you stay here. What you get here is reality, not fantasy&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastActivityDate="2015-12-05T22:42:27.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23260" CreationDate="2015-12-05T23:29:51.010" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have any concerns you should speak to your midwife or health visitor or doctor straight away. You should especially talk to them if you notice any bleeding, or any discharge, or if the area is hot and red and inflamed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The umbilical cord and surrounding area needs to be monitored and cared for.  It's a possible source of complications.  Luckily &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/video/Pages/how-do-i-take-care-of-the-umbilical-cord-stump.aspx?searchtype=Tag&amp;amp;searchterm=Pregnancy__Common%20questions&amp;amp;offset=17&amp;amp;&quot;&gt;most of what you need to do is straightforward.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/your-baby-after-birth.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/your-baby-after-birth.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Shortly after birth, the midwife will clamp the umbilical cord close&#xA;  to your baby's belly button (navel) with a plastic clip. They then cut&#xA;  the cord, leaving a small bit of it with the clamp attached (or your&#xA;  birth partner may like to do this). The cord may take about a week to&#xA;  dry out and drop off. Keep your baby's navel clean and dry until this&#xA;  happens. If you notice any bleeding or discharge from the navel, tell&#xA;  your midwife, health visitor, or GP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The umbilical cord is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/2299.aspx?categoryid=54&quot;&gt;supposed to turn black&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Between five and 15 days after your baby is born, the umbilical stump&#xA;  will dry out, turn black and drop off. After the stump comes off, it&#xA;  usually takes about seven to 10 days for the belly button to heal&#xA;  completely. Until the stump drops off and the belly button is&#xA;  completely healed, it's important to keep the area clean and dry, to&#xA;  prevent infection. If you notice any bleeding or discharge from your&#xA;  baby's belly button, ask your midwife, health visitor or GP for&#xA;  advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-05T23:29:51.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23269" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-06T09:13:11.050" Score="32" ViewCount="11363" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a father of a beautiful girl. She is 8 months old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started playing with an unpeeled orange, tossing it in the air and catching it. My little girl noticed it and wanted to examine the orange. Just when I was about to give it to her, my wife stopped me and said that I should not give the orange to the baby because the orange was dirty. I said, &quot;OK, let's wash it and it should be OK&quot;. She washed the orange. Just when I was to give it to my little girl, my wife stopped me and said that I must not let my daughter lick the orange. I asked why. She said, &quot;because it contains pesticides&quot;. I explained that we had just washed the orange thoroughly and that it was safe for playing. Then she said again that I must not let our daughter lick the orange and added that it can cause an allergic reaction. Of course my daughter wanted to put the big orange immediately in her mouth to examine it. I didn't want to argue with my wife so I put the orange away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, is it OK if an 8-month-old baby plays with an orange? Is it dangerous?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20069" LastEditorDisplayName="user6589" LastEditDate="2015-12-07T20:06:40.797" LastActivityDate="2015-12-10T18:45:24.293" Title="Should I let my baby play with oranges?" Tags="|play-time|playground|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23269" CreationDate="2015-12-06T09:48:49.240" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should buy an organic orange - many citrus fruit are treated with fungicudes etc. to prevent mold in stores and during transport (we consumers benefit only by accident). &lt;a href=&quot;https://cooking.stackexchange.com/questions/63105/lemons-and-oranges-coated-with-imazalil&quot;&gt;There is a question over at Seasoned Advice that discusses whether they may be washed off.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if you give your child a washed organic orange - under supervision, of course - I see no reason how this would harm her.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The fear of allergies is imho only warranted if the medical history in the family suggests it and current trends about baby food are that &lt;em&gt;small&lt;/em&gt; amounts of &lt;em&gt;different&lt;/em&gt; foods are considered beneficial. Note that you are not feeding her the orange (and some children don't tolerate acid fruit or juices well), but if she playfully bites into the fruit she will simply experience some &quot;new&quot; taste. The stimulus of the taste, smell and tactile sensation could actually be good for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:33:29.713" LastActivityDate="2015-12-06T09:48:49.240" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23271" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23278" CreationDate="2015-12-06T10:32:51.210" Score="14" ViewCount="783" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am divorced and have an 8-year-old son. Our son lives half of the time with me, half of the time with his mother. Communication between us parents is good, there is no conflict of any kind, and we cooperate well in raising our son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes (about once every two months), when our son is with his mother and they have some quarrel that upsets him, he calls me, and, overwhelmed with hurt and anger, says something angry to me and then hangs up the phone. These calls come completely out of the blue for me, and I'm usually unprepared for them and busy with something else (I often work on those weekends that our son is with his mother).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem for me, when I get one of these upset phone calls, is, that I don't know what is (truly) going on – so I don't know what the appropriate reaction would be –, feel that he needs me (or he wouldn't call me) – so I feel I need to help him –, but at his age constructive discussions on the phone are not yet possible (and not what he needs). What he usually needs in similar situations when he is with me is time to calm down and some sort of &quot;making up&quot; when he and I are ready for it. I cannot do that over the phone, and I'm also not the person he has been hurt by, so what I often do is call his mother, talk to her, get some (biased) explanation, try to get &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; to calm down (if she is angry or upset) or change her perspective (if she is, in my opinion, overly strict) and then hope that they can resolve their conflict. Often I call them again later to see how they are, and usually they are fine, but sometimes the conflict goes on for some time, and sometimes I get a few calls with increasing emotions which then unsettles &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; because I'm too far away to actually interfere in a meaningful way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to turn my phone off, because I want to be available to my son, but at the same time these events stress me out and often leave me feeling down for the rest of the day and I don't want to be what I like to call the &quot;trash bin&quot; for my son's negative emotions, when I'm not the &quot;culprit&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that in a family that lives together, similar things happen, but the phone makes these situations especially difficult. When I'm there, and he's in a conflict with his mother, I can ask him to go out and play soccer with me, and thus get him out of the frustating situation and allow him to take his attention away from his hurt so it can calm over. But when I'm on the phone there is nothing I can &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt;. I can only talk, and talk doesn't help him get out of being focussed on what angers and hurts him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So basically my question is, how can I deal with these phone calls? I can't always drop what I'm doing and go over there and take care of stuff. I also can't (or don't want to) turn off my phone for the time our son stays with his mother, because being divorced does not free me from the responsibility of caring for our child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly, I guess, I lack the abilty to listen to him and be there, but not let his emotions affect my own. These phone calls wouldn't be so difficult for me, if I were more stable in my own emotions and didn't feel so over-responsible for the happiness (not well-being) of my child. I understand that it is normal for every person to be frustrated, even sad, from time to time, but I cannot well deal with my son feeling bad, and being unable to do do anything over the phone is torture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-24T12:22:17.690" LastActivityDate="2019-04-24T12:22:17.690" Title="How to deal with my son calling me on the telephone when he is in a fight with his mother?" Tags="|middle-childhood|conflict|co-parenting|coping|cellphone|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23269" CreationDate="2015-12-06T12:18:57.010" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nice question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the fear of an allergic reaction is unwarranted, unless you have seen symptoms indicating that your daughter might be allergic to something. If you fear she might be allergic to oranges and therefore don't want her to lick them, you would have to keep her from everything else, too, because people can have strong and dangerous allergic reactions to basically everything. But since you probably find the completely safe way of testing every substance first before you let your child have unprotected contact with it unpractical, there is no reason why she should be forbidden oranges but allowed to play in the grass. There are other foods than oranges that more commonly cause allergic reactions (like nuts or milk).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the pesticides, the &quot;official&quot; recommendation is to wash oranges in warm water before you peel them and to wash your hands after peeling and before you eat them, because they are so heavily treated with poisonous or carcinogenic chemicals, so I guess the best way is to go and buy an organic orange for your daughter to play with. But then, maybe you should begin to think of your own health, since obviously you haven't yet worried about all the chemicals that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; have been ingesting from not washing your food nor your hands, while a few minutes of licking an unwashed orange certainly won't do any harm to your child. The few molecules she would have ingested are harmless, but the buckets full that have collected in your system over your lifetime are certainly dangerous. In other words, I wouldn't worry about poisoning my child, I'd rather worry about my whole family eating well. If I can eat it, then my child can lick it. Keeping my kids from things I eat myself seems inconsistent. (Yes, I don't drink alcohol.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2015-12-07T11:32:38.913" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T11:32:38.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23264" CreationDate="2015-12-06T12:53:08.343" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There seems to be a difference between computer games and other play:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;studies have shown that excessive computer gaming is correlated to emotional and behavioural problems&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;there is no such correlation between behavioral problems and other play&lt;br&gt;&lt;em&gt;(this claim might be wrong; see the comment by @deworde below)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While correlation is not causation, while there are also studies that contradict this common result, while computer gaming also has benefits, and while you can certainly control the time and games your child plays, &lt;strong&gt;I don't see how not letting your child play computer games might harm him or her&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's like alcohol. If you let your child drink a sip of beer once, it certainly won't harm your child. But why do it in the first place? What benefit does it have that your child knows at an early age what beer tastes like? None. Sure, if you drink beer regularly, you might satisfy a curiosity that could otherwise lead to your child drinking beer behind your back, but if you don't drink yourself, there really is no reason why your child needs to become familiar with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the same vein, if you play computer games a lot yourself, it would be strange if you forbid your child to do the same. But if you live a life with other values and habits, if you think books are great or sports or being with friends, then why would you help your child build a habit that you don't endorse? Sure, computer games are probably a small risk for a select few vulnerable kids only, but &lt;strong&gt;not playing computer games it no risk at all&lt;/strong&gt;. I grew up without computers and saw my first PC when I was in my early twenties, yet I later worked as a programmer and am more &quot;computer literate&quot; than many younger people. You don't need to start as a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my son plays computer games when he visits his friends, that's fine. Then it is a social activity, and what the kids do together is less important than how they do it and that they do something together at all. But there really is no reason why my son needs to play computer games when he is at home alone. First off, he needs to be able to deal with being alone and boredom, and if he needs gadgets to keep him from feeling lonely then he probably won't become a happy adult. Second, the best control is if you avoid situations that you have to control. No internet, no problems with your kids hacking the kid filter and watching porn. No mobile phone, no problems with your kids filming other kids beating up other kids and uploading it to YouTube. No computer games, no bleary eyed kids getting angry over having to go to bed because tomorrow is school while they haven't yet mastered the sixth level. No s**t, no problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those reasons, my son is always one of the last of his peers to get technical gadgets. He has to get them eventually, or else he will be the odd kid out, but there really is no reason why he has to be the first to have them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;tl;dr&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially, your own standards should apply to your child, and your own lifestyle should be open to your child. If you play computer games, share that experience with your child on an appropriate level. If you don't play, then it is something that your child can discover on his own, when he is indepentend enough from you to manage his own affairs. Until then, share the computer-game-free experience with your child. Teach by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Violent Video Games&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The following are meta-analyses, i.e. they summarize all (relevant) previous studies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The evidence strongly suggests that exposure to violent video games is a causal risk factor for increased aggressive behavior, aggressive cognition, and aggressive affect and for decreased empathy and prosocial behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anderson, C. A., Shibuya, A., Ihori, N., Swing, E. L., Bushman, B. J., Sakamoto, A., ... &amp;amp; Saleem, M. (2010). Violent video game effects on aggression, empathy, and prosocial behavior in eastern and western countries: a meta-analytic review. Psychological bulletin, 136(2), 151.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Whereas violent video games increase aggression and aggression-related variables and decrease prosocial outcomes, prosocial video games have the opposite effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Greitemeyer, T., &amp;amp; Mügge, D. O. (2014). Video games do affect social outcomes a meta-analytic review of the effects of violent and prosocial video game play. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 0146167213520459.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pathological Video Gaming&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;While the relationships between video game use and negative consequences are debated, the relationships between video game addiction and negative consequences are fairly well established. ... Video game addiction was related to depression, lower academic achievement, and conduct problems, but time spent on video games was not related to any of the studied negative outcomes. ... Spending time playing video games does not involve negative consequences, but adolescents who experience problems related to video games are likely to also experience problems in other facets of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, if you define video game addiction (VGA) as playing long hours, as most research has been doing, then there is no relation between VGA and other health problems; but if you define VGA as behavior that the individuals themselves experiences as problematic (e.g. addictive), then there &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a significant correlation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Brunborg, G., Mentzoni, R., &amp;amp; Frøyland, L. (2014). Is video gaming, or video game addiction, associated with depression, academic achievement, heavy episodic drinking, or conduct problems?. Journal of behavioral addictions, 3(1), 27-32.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2015-12-06T17:39:36.443" LastActivityDate="2015-12-06T17:39:36.443" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23259" CreationDate="2015-12-06T13:18:03.230" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, the question is wether your child has been sleeping through before this new habit of waking up began, or if this is just a remnant of the early whole day sleep cycle. If your child has never yet slept through for more and a few consecutive days at a time, then he is still learning to sleep at night. If on the other hand he has been sleeping through for a month or two and just began waking up again recently, you might want to go see a qualified doctor. He might have some physical condition that is waking him up (constipation, flatulence, some infection, or some developmental problems) and that you should address.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, your child may be spending too much time in bed. On average, a child of 14 months sleeps around 14 hours per day, but it is important to understand that children differ in their need for sleep. Some 14 months olds sleep only 11 hours per day, others over 16. If you subtract the time that your child naps during the daytime, his nighttime sleep need can vary between maybe 8 and the full 16 hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are the results of one longitudinal study on sleep behavior:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/RX4P9.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/RX4P9.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this variation is normal and healthy. So maybe the 11 1/2 hours between seven thirty p.m. and seven a.m. are too long for your child to sleep through. You could try bringing him to bed later or waking him earlier or reducing his day time napping, so that he is &quot;tired enough&quot; to sleep through the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The third idea is that your child feels alone. Babies are made to feel unwell or unhappy when they have no physical contact to their parents. It is a natural reflex, probably stemming from when it was dangerous for a small child to be alone, as it might get eaten by a predator. That is why children often cry when they are put in a buggy and immediately stop and fall asleep when you pick them up, only to start again when you lay them down again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our culture it has become the norm that children must &quot;learn to sleep alone&quot;. There is quite a lot of debate about this, and there is some indication in psychological studies that children who are allowed to sleep with (one or both of) their parents are more emotionally healthy than those that are forced to sleep alone despite their difficulties to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That your son can only be quieted by being given the breast of his mother shows that it is this contact that he needs. He might sleep through, if he were allowed to sleep in your bed and was able to feel your presence when coming into shallow (&quot;half awake&quot;) REM sleep phases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, something might wake him up and keep him awake. Often children react to their parents' stress. So if one of you is having trouble at work, this might affect your son's sleep. Or maybe now that winter is comming you have begun sleeping with the window closed, and the stuffy air is causing a headache in your son. Or waking up would be short, but you turn the light on and carry him over to your bed to feed and then back to his bed, and all this &quot;day time activity&quot; is making him wake up completely and think it is day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, I'd wait a week or two to see how this develops. If there is no change, I'd begin from the bottom up: change how I deal with him waking up (no light, no lifting around, fresh air, etc.); let him sleep with me; shorten his night; see a physician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2015-12-07T11:34:32.127" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T11:34:32.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23276" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23225" CreationDate="2015-12-06T14:29:37.070" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I fully endorse the answer by Leopoldo Sparks. We don't have enough information to recommend a course of action, but from the few hints we have, being cautious seems to be well advised. Ideally the son can see the father, but it might be prudent to have some security measures in place, such as not letting the father be alone with his son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that's just repeating what Leopoldo already said. What I would like to add is that you (the mother) might want to consider therapy for your child. I know that your child is neither mentally disordered nor psychologically instable, but the fact that your son is – probably continually or repeatedly – &quot;upset that he can't see his dad&quot; might in fact cause him harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children overcome separation from a parent (by blood or adoption) easily, while others take this very much to heart and over time develop a psychological condition that can range from depression to aggression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though I don't work with children, I am a psychologist and have many colleagues who do. In our psychological outpatient clinic, there are quite a few children who have no other &quot;problem&quot; than that their parents are divorced. Sometimes they suffer from the quarrels between the parents, sometimes from visiting arrangements that disrupt their own private life (such as seeing their friends). None of these children are psychologically &quot;sick&quot;, but all of them suffer from life circumstances that overtax them. And they all profit from an outside ally, an adult explanation, and strategies to deal with their own emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you have the opportunity to let your son see a qualified child psychologist, I would recommend that to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastActivityDate="2015-12-06T14:29:37.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23269" CreationDate="2015-12-06T19:05:26.163" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just do a risk-reward analysis.  What is the risk of your daughter playing with one orange once and what is the added benefit of fun and learning with playing with an orange? Many people are ignorant of the &lt;em&gt;chemicals&lt;/em&gt; (scary) that are used as pesticides.  Even if they are toxic or carcinogenic, they often degrade very quickly, and don't forget &lt;em&gt;the dose makes the poison&lt;/em&gt;.  Oranges are one of the most toxic laden foods you can buy. That said, your child will be exposed to more poisonous and carcinogenic materials by simply being at a gas station while you fill your car than a lifetime of oranges can provide.  Don't let this lead to a lifetime of overparenting, what's life if you spend every moment maximizing survival?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20071" LastEditorUserId="6912" LastEditDate="2015-12-06T19:21:22.237" LastActivityDate="2015-12-06T19:21:22.237" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23271" CreationDate="2015-12-06T22:50:44.320" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not going to suggest a quick fix; this takes time. But it involves and imparts life skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that are helpful in situations like these: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Realize that it's not your job to fix other people's emotions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is easier said than done, but it's true. If you try to fix it, your son will have learned nothing about resolving conflict, or preventing conflicts from happening in the first place. As a parent, it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt;, however, your job to help your son learn to handle conflict and his own emotions arising from it (there will be conflict in relationships of every kind. Best to learn how to handle it sooner rather than later.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read about conflict resolution skills and start practicing them with your child. Depending on your relationship with your ex, you might email her any really good reading material you find that might help her with your son too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Start teaching your son about healthy boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't know about setting and maintaining healthy boundaries yourself, you probably haven't set any, navigating life as it comes at you. This might work for some, but healthy boundaries are a vital part of taking care of yourself emotionally, and teaching your son about them will help him in his life as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read about setting healthy boundaries; there's a lot available on the internet, and there are a lot of good books on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may or may not agree with this, but since your son is safe and with a capable, competent parent when he is with his mother, you can tell him that you will not be immediately available to him to hear about conflicts that arise with her. Set a boundary: you will be off-duty until x o'clock. If at x o'clock he still wants to talk with you, he can do so. Hopefully by x o'clock, they will have worked the problem out themselves, or at least he will have decompressed some. Make it clear that he &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; call you, but not immediately &lt;em&gt;for that reason&lt;/em&gt; (clearly you should be reachable for true emergencies.) If he disregards the boundary, reinforce it by reminding him of it and telling him you'll talk to him at x o'clock. &quot;I love you, and your mom loves you. Your mom is right there. Tell Mommy how you're feeling and work it out with her. I'll talk to you at x'oclock. I love you (etc.)&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;3&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give your son a very rich emotional vocabulary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being able to name a feeling is the first step in learning how to deal with it. There are age appropriate emotional vocabularies available - you guessed it - on the internet. I would aim higher than his given age, though. Talk to your child often about his emotions - the entire range of them - and try to identify what underlies them as well, so that he can deal with the primary emotion, the thing that's really behind his outburst (it may be that he feels unloved, disrespected, untrustworthy, etc. when he has conflict, depending on the kind.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;4&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then talk about his feelings and &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to try to resolve the conflict.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can help him name his feelings - as a keen observer, not a participant - you will feel much less stress when those situations arise. It is a rational layer of insulation from your own feelings of helplessness/responsibility/frustration/whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;talk doesn't help him get out of being focused on what angers and hurts him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may not be as immediate as distraction, but distraction doesn't really teach him about conflict resolution, either. Talk, though, does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;5&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Divorce your emotions from the situation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give yourself time to step back from the situation and analyze your reaction. Work out what you &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; is the best course of action, and do what &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; best, not what you &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; will work. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-07T15:37:35.523" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T15:37:35.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23279" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-07T01:20:47.577" Score="1" ViewCount="189" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 8 year old daughter that has a hard time focusing in everything she does.  Don't get me wrong, she can focus when she wants to and if it's something that's she is interested in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other issue, or maybe they are connected, is that she just doesn't care about anything. She just has this don't care attitude that quite frankly drives me crazy. It is the same attitude whether we are discussing school, gymnastics, chores - it really doesn't matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I make her care about these things and want to do her best?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20075" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-07T12:44:05.390" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T19:57:12.907" Title="Getting child to focus" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|motivation|attention|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23269" CreationDate="2015-12-07T10:17:28.787" Score="74" Body="&lt;p&gt;First the orange is dirty. You solve that, and only then the orange has pesticides. You solve that, and only then does the orange cause allergies. You can bet that if you proved that oranges are hypoallergenic, there would have been another objection. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife does not have a problem with the orange. Something else is going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20085" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T10:17:28.787" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23269" CreationDate="2015-12-07T10:51:58.587" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you ask me, except if taken out of the dustbin, or if it rolled on a dirty floor, or if you are travelling in a country with different bacteria, oranges are ok to play with and even touch with mouth. If there is a little doubt or objection from the mother, rinsing it should be enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, there is an elephant in the room here, or two. Firstly, you should not let your wife forbid something and confront you so strongly in front of the kids. That's not doing any good to them. Better do it when kids do not hear. Parents must &quot;agree together&quot; even when they don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, being too paranoid about dirtyness, bacteria, allergies, chemicals, etc., is also bad for the kids. One of the most important thing to build for toddlers is self-confidence. You do not get this if the world around you is full of hidden dangers, like an orange able to jump at your throath and poison you. So, I'd say, remove anything that is really dangerous (like these toilet cleaning chemicals) from the grasp of the kids, and let almost everything else be almost ok, even if it may hurt a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fear is something we have in our genes, fear of darkness, fear of strangers, fear of unknown foods, etc. I do not think we need to add too many fears to the arsenal (except maybe fear of moving cars). Instead we need to untangle these fears in our kids: nowadays, the probability to meet a wolf in the night is quite low, usually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastEditorUserId="122" LastEditDate="2015-12-08T02:27:11.280" LastActivityDate="2015-12-08T02:27:11.280" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18281" CreationDate="2015-12-07T11:42:06.923" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The basic structure of SDG*Chart of Emotions has been used in Finland teaching emotions for pupils on the fourth grade aging about 10 years. It is compiled out of 8 emotion scales and has 25 basic emotions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/tgtLD.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/tgtLD.png&quot; alt=&quot;SDG*Chart of Emotions&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The larger chart consists of 121 emotions and could be useful for the parents too. There are also practical emotional expressions below each emotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://sdgemotions.wordpress.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://sdgemotions.wordpress.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20088" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T11:42:06.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23286" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23293" CreationDate="2015-12-07T14:41:39.823" Score="10" ViewCount="3638" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I know the dangers of too much exposure to television and videos for young children, that is why we restrict the amount of time our kids spend watching them. But these days my wife is pregnant and I have to take more time watching our youngest who is only 18 months. For a short period of the day (not more than an hour total), I like to put her in my lap and let her watch cat videos and nursery rhyme songs on YouTube on my computer. But my wife doesn't want her doing even this, saying it negatively impacts her mind and senses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is my wife right or is she being too strict? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter of course loves the videos and asks for me to put them whenever she finds me at the computer. Most of them I try to distract her away but sometimes I cave in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-22T16:14:52.177" LastActivityDate="2020-08-22T16:14:52.177" Title="Should a 18 month old be allowed to watch any videos online?" Tags="|toddler|television|screen-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23269" CreationDate="2015-12-07T19:37:52.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your wife is correct to be concerned about the pesticides and other filth on the skins of oranges. Sadly, most food these days is produced on large corporate-industrial plantations that use enormous amounts of chemicals and store/transport foods in rat-infested, disgusting conditions. You should validate her concerns about health, instead of telling her that she is &quot;worrying too much&quot;, etc. This will make it less likely to turn into an argument. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's also very important that you encourage your child's curiousity about the world - especially when it is curiousity about healthy foods! &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whatsonmyfood.org/food.jsp?food=OG&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Purchase organic oranges&lt;/a&gt;, and wash the orange well with hot soapy water, and then let her play with it. She will learn to appreciate the taste, and will probably learn a new color too! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20093" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T19:37:52.317" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23279" CreationDate="2015-12-07T19:57:12.907" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the key here is where you said: &quot;&lt;strong&gt;she can focus when she wants to and if it's something that's she is interested in&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;. Our society so often forces kids into situations (&lt;em&gt;especially&lt;/em&gt; public schooling) where they are expected to focus on things that they are not interested in, and then diagnoses them with &quot;disorders&quot; such as ADD/ADHD when they respond in a perfectly natural way (by becoming restless, defiant, etc). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is an 8-year old. She's simply not going to sit there for 3 hours studying math (unless she's super into math). There is nothing wrong with her for responding this way, and you don't need to worry about it (although you should be concerned about how you are going to create a situation that is more fulfilling/stimulating for her) . You used the phrase &lt;strong&gt;&quot;make her care&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;. This is &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; going to happen. If you try to make her care about something she doesn't like, she's only to get &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; restless and defiant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way for her to learn and grow is to support her in those activities that she &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; interested in. What are these areas that she is interested in that you say you can see her focusing on? How could you work on stimulating more interest in these areas, and using them as a platform for learning/growth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20093" LastActivityDate="2015-12-07T19:57:12.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23290" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23291" CreationDate="2015-12-07T23:01:14.940" Score="-1" ViewCount="258" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 2 weeks old and cries a lot sudden, his grandma think it's because of tummy as he get pain in tummy and have they have started to give him drops of Liquorice extract water on a room temperature (which IMO is strange), how to know what is going on with my baby? As I hate grandma experiments on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7778" LastEditorUserId="7778" LastEditDate="2015-12-07T23:35:15.930" LastActivityDate="2015-12-08T02:45:04.207" Title="New born Baby cries a lot" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-12-10T10:02:03.307" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23290" CreationDate="2015-12-08T02:45:04.207" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies cry when they 1) are hungry, 2) need a new diaper, 3) are sick, 4) feel like crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the three first conditions have been checked, your baby is &quot;just crying&quot;. It happens a lot. No worries. It's been encoded in our genes, it's a retrieval signal sent from baby to mother when mother left the baby alone in the old savannah to fetch some food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2015-12-08T02:45:04.207" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23292" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-08T08:09:57.627" Score="0" ViewCount="490" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my niece, who is just 1 year and 2 months old, goes to sleep it takes no longer than 1 hour and she just starts crying loudly and wakes up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been happening for the last 4 days and yesterday I was awake that time when I heard her crying loudly and took her into my arms, but she continued crying and I had to pass her to her mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the day she naps a few times, but never wakes up crying - instead she is always smiling when she wakes up. At night the room she sleeps in is slightly dark and my brother and his wife sleep besides her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could be the reason behind her waking like this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20097" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-15T13:31:35.090" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T14:34:57.490" Title="1 year old crying loudly in her sleep until she wakes up" Tags="|toddler|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23286" CreationDate="2015-12-08T08:58:41.710" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Association of Pediatrics &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wsj.com/articles/pediatricians-rethink-screen-time-policy-for-children-1444671636&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;is currently in the process of changing their recommendation for screen time for children.&lt;/a&gt; The policy currently is that screen time should be avoided before age 2, but they realize that the quality of screen time varies. Pediatricians have recognized the policy as outdated, since media is changing at such a rapid pace, and new research is showing differences between the kinds of screen time - TV, apps, Skype, ebooks, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today's children are spending an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media, including televisions, computers, phones and other electronic devices. -&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/pages/media-and-children.aspx#sthash.oHnignyS.dpuf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;from the AAP&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly, your child isn't at the 7 hours per day average.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My gut feeling is that your wife is being too strict. You spend a lot of time interacting with your toddler without screens. As mentioned in the comments, the quality of the interaction you are having with her while watching videos matters. Whether you are looking at a book about cats or watching a video about cats, the page or the screen can serve as a medium for interacting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether it &amp;quot;negatively impacts her mind and senses&amp;quot; is very difficult to prove. But no parent is perfect, you can't expect yourself to spend 100% of your time together interacting in the most stimulating and optimal way. 15 minutes of cat videos or nursery rhymes on youtube will likely have little or no effect on your child's brain...and she might even learn some nursery rhymes that you had forgotten since your childhood!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-12-08T08:58:41.710" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23286" CreationDate="2015-12-08T11:35:27.733" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand your wife's fears, but I actually agree with you. &lt;em&gt;Some&lt;/em&gt; time on TV or laptop is OK. I think that the most important aspects of such entertainment (tv, youtube, tablet, computer) is the quality of the experience you provide your kid with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are the rules we follow for Electronic Entertainment (EE) with our 2yo daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;all EE is moderated, we decide what can be watched/played&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no mindless staring - we watch tv with our kid and talk about what happens there, commentate on it sometimes, then, after we've watched it, we reference it in our plays&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;EE is not a way to get something else done - it's meant to be just another way of spending time with our daughter (though we've actually violated this rule, we do try to stick to it)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;EE limited to max 1h per day and we try to keep 20-30 minutes per day on average&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;some days are EE-less, when no tv is watched and no tablet games are played&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that is is more important to teach a child that EE is not something bad, and it's ok to use it in moderate amounts, than forcing the though that it is bad and forbidding it, while the child obviously enjoys it. It'd be a huge contrast in child's mind and thus reduce your authority (i'm having trouble with words here, I'm not a native speaker). Most things are acceptable if they are used in moderation. The same, I think, works with EE. And if you don't teach your child early on to moderate the amounts, she may fall into EE even stronger later on. Consider this and talk with your wife about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with all parenting, if you are consistent, your child will accept your actions regarding limitin EE time. No &quot;one more please&quot; beyond what you yourself decided should ever work. You can sometimes agree to it, but if you disagree, never change your mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that an hour per day for 18 month old is too much. Look at it like that: it's around 10% of her awake time. I would consider reducing the amount per day, and make sure to skip EE on some days altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW: here's what 2yo our enjoys the most and we deemed appropriate for her age: Lego Duplo Forest/Circus apps on Android tablet and Bear in the Big Blue House on TV or Youtube.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;2 years later follow up&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;: our EE policy has worked reasonably well so far. Our daughter watches particular tv shows/songs and/or plays on tablet/phone reasonably frequently, but grudgingly accepts (=throws no tantrums) not playing/watching at all. We allow some tv time in the morning as we need that time for ourselves; she sometimes chooses not to watch tv as she prefers solo playing or coloring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2017-10-16T11:57:35.803" LastActivityDate="2017-10-16T11:57:35.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23269" CreationDate="2015-12-08T11:49:07.587" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Citrus fruit are commonly waxed in order to extend their transport and shelf life.  For baking recipes calling for orange peels or grated lemon skin, you need to specifically buy unwaxed fruit.  So that's the most likely agent to get into your baby's mouth.  Of course, they cannot really use known poisons here, and the wax tends to be bitter and will stop the baby from indulging too much anyway.  So I'd not worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regard to allergies, it's not helpful to stop kids from ingesting dirt.  The longer one waits with exposure to substances, the more likely they will be recognized as foreign and attacked by the immune system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you are not doing your kid any favors from having it avoid contact to organic substances that &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; lead to allergic reactions.  It's usually quite early enough to think about stopping exposure once problems become apparent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regard to the situation, it is obvious that your wife made a decision and was not letting you change her mind about it, so counterarguments were made up on the fly.  Better not argue her into corners if you find out how to avoid it since she might insist staying in worse corners than this particular one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20098" LastActivityDate="2015-12-08T11:49:07.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23296" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-08T19:17:27.017" Score="14" ViewCount="16022" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 10 months old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since her birth, my wife has never even once left the baby with me alone. First it was breastfeeding, then other excuses. She's constantly around me. Constantly checking me. Constantly enforcing her rules. It's &quot;her way or no way&quot;. Our relationship is suffering very much because of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thy typical pattern is that I suggest an activity - benign and something I suppose my daughter would like - and she comes up with one obstacle after another why this is not possible. If I put my foot down she will follow me and my daughter literally every step of the way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is always centered around hygiene and vague &quot;dangers&quot;. My hands aren't &quot;clean&quot;, objects like leaves of trees are &quot;dirty&quot; and she insists that I wash and sanitize my hands and wet wipe whatever I hand to my daughter. It took me months to take my daughter outside because it was &quot;too cold&quot; or &quot;too dangerous&quot; at 23°C / 73°F and my wife clearly stated that she doesn't trust me with the baby. The first months the baby spent most of her time with my wife in the kitchen and my wife is still reluctant to leave the house with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On one outing to a nearby national park when I had to carry our daughter because the trail was unsuitable for the stroller, my wife was so nervous and upset, almost to the point of crying. I tried to calm her, but to no avail. At one point I tried to show my daughter a leaf from a nearby tree and my wife objected.  She insisted that a leaf from a tree could be first poisonous, then possibly causing an allergy and finally one from a non-allergenic tree had to be cleaned with a wet wipe first, I gave up and we went home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, with all the fussing I sometimes cave in and simply desist from playing ith my child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife was afraid of everything from the time we met each other. She's like that with our baby too. I'm the total opposite - I'm not afraid of something that I see as &quot;safe&quot;. She says &quot;everything will change when the baby gets older&quot;, but I'm afraid she's just saying that to make me happy. I think nothing will change because that's how she behaves with herself and that's how you'll also behave with your child. Consequently our relationship will suffer and even my relationship with my daughter will suffer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love my child and would never put her in danger, but I want to play with her and show her the world. But I can't do that if I'm constantly restricted and basically forbidden to pick her up unless I wash my hands first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have confronted my wife various times and she always insisted that I was not to be trusted, that her behaviour was perfectly normal and that all mothers are as protective of their babies as she is. Is that true?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is her very protective behaviour really good for our daughter or might she actually cause harm? What can I do to make sure my child really gets what she needs? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or is my wife right and she is too young to go on excursions and the world is so full of germs that it is better to wipe down everything? Am I missing something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20074" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2015-12-10T20:09:19.703" LastActivityDate="2020-12-19T16:49:40.690" Title="Is my wife an over-protective parent and how does this influence my child?" Tags="|infant|parents|fears|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23297" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23301" CreationDate="2015-12-08T19:28:32.880" Score="2" ViewCount="13131" Body="&lt;p&gt;My new born is too fast in drinking milk from breast and even feeder. The nipple size of feeder is 1, don't know if they make 0. What should I do? He chokes a lot and scares me. He is 2 weeks old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7778" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T18:13:42.300" Title="Baby choke when drinking too fast" Tags="|newborn|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23297" CreationDate="2015-12-09T08:42:37.283" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First: don't worry! The fact that he chokes is scary, but it also shows that his body reacts to speed of the milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter had a similar issue (the milk came to fast for her to handle properly). We used the following tricks to great effect:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breastfeeding: use a Nipple shield. This enabled her to latch on and drink comfortably. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bottle: we switched to prenatal bottle teat.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Small caveat for the Nipple shield: she became dependant upon it when breastfeeding, so we had to dedicated some time (about a month) to get her off it again. Now she drinks quite happily from the breast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19769" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T08:42:37.283" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23302" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23303" CreationDate="2015-12-09T10:38:57.490" Score="30" ViewCount="25830" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11-year-old son watched a documentary on the Swiss Army Knife and is enamored with getting one for Christmas. We are in the UK regulatory sphere.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He proposes to use the knife on camping expeditions either with family or with the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_Cadets_(United_Kingdom)&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Sea Cadets&lt;/a&gt;. Additionally, I am pretty sure that having such a tool bestows status among his peers in the neighbourhood, so there is also a 'non-utilitarian' motive.  He is somewhat advanced in terms of maturity and is good-natured and he is generally not exposed to criminal influences, gangs, and the like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know there is a knife for first-timers, I cannot see the value in it and contemplate a somewhat more &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.victorinox.com/global/en/Products/Swiss-Army-Knives/Medium-Pocket-Knives/Compact/p/1.3405&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;versatile model shown on this page&lt;/a&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am OK with deferring this until another year if needs be. I wonder if there are regulatory aspects to consider and if so, which.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What age is appropriate for such a gift? Parents with similar experiences may be able to offer valuable insights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note:  There is a related question regarding kitchen skills here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/6619/when-should-a-child-begin-to-learn-knife-skills-for-use-in-the-kitchen&quot;&gt;When should a child begin to learn knife skills for use in the Kitchen?&lt;/a&gt;  I do not think it's a duplicate because it's more appliance based and a kitchen would not have the same regulatory implications as a pocket knife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20110" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-04T12:32:47.767" LastActivityDate="2019-07-04T12:32:47.767" Title="What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?" Tags="|age-appropriate|pre-teen|tools|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T10:54:48.690" Score="59" Body="&lt;p&gt;This one may be a challenge - UK laws on knife carrying are not age-related (although there is an age limit on purchasing knives) but they are related to size of knife and to some extent what you are doing with it and where you are carrying it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I think a Swiss Army Knife is appropriate for outdoorsy kids from an early age - whenever they can safely handle one - so I'm happy mine have had them from 7 or 8. They whittle spears, roofing spars, traps, toy boats etc from them, and when camping they are incredibly useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I would not allow them to take a penknife to school or down the high street. There is no need for one in those situations, and the temptation to show one as a status symbol is very likely to lead to trouble. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, if your child is likely to be able to handle a knife, I see nothing wrong in letting them have one &lt;strong&gt;in the right environment&lt;/strong&gt; - ie camping or going on a hike where they may need it. Give them some training on use, and some first aid training - it's almost a rite of passage to accidentally cut yourself with your first knife :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T10:54:48.690" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T12:32:33.973" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;The following link from .gov.uk clearly describes the UK legislation.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.gov.uk/buying-carrying-knives&quot;&gt;https://www.gov.uk/buying-carrying-knives&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In essence carrying a knife with a folding blade of length less than 3 inches is legal.  Threatening someone with a knife of any size is, of course, illegal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though a small knife is legal, if your lad is stopped by the Police or by a teacher they might ask for a good reason why he is carrying it.  I would suggest that 'because it is cool' or 'to defend myself' would likely see the knife confiscated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion a key-chain knife is appropriate for an 11-year-old, if he has a good reason for wanting it. If it is attached to his keys then it will appear less threatening.  For what is is worth, I feel a bit under-dressed without my Leatherman Micra.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is out in a boat then a small multi-tool or sailing knife with a shackle key could be useful, but I suspect that an 11-year-old might well loose it - and decent ones are not cheap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20111" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T12:32:33.973" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T13:17:49.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids got theirs when they were 5, but we got the special rounded end models. &#xA;Once we'd shown them how to open and close them and to use them properly we've never had any problems&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the legal aspect goes; I've honestly never considered it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.knivesandtools.co.uk/en/pt/-victorinox-children-s-folder.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.knivesandtools.co.uk/en/pt/-victorinox-children-s-folder.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20113" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T13:17:49.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T13:28:27.720" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Eleven is an OK age for handling a nice compact Swiss Army knife. That said, he (or she) would need to be taught and shown how to use and handle it, in just the same was as you might show him(her) how to hammer a nail (Hammers are very dangerous - just check how many gruesome TV murders use one ;-).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important that you are happy to provide the help and guidance because they can be mis-used, and part of that guidance is seeing good safe careful usage, including when to put it back in its safe place! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also worth customising the knife by adding a short Lanyard, which helps indicate that it's a cared for item, and can be located more easily - mine is 24cm yellow line (3mm dia) with a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photo-stopper-knot-image437405&quot;&gt;stopper knot&lt;/a&gt; (9 turns on mine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important handling aspects I showed my kids are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how to close the blade safely without cutting off their own fingers (new knife baldes are &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; sharp)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;how to 'whittle' using the thumb pressure for control - if there is no contact between the knife hand and the held object hand then the knife 'flys' at the end of the cut which could unfortunately stab onself/others&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;never let others play with it - it's not a toy, it's never a toy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't take it to school / social events / anywhere there could be misunderstandings!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20114" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T13:28:27.720" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T14:34:39.410" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've gifted pocket knives to our kids as young as 7 years old.  It's about the time they start scouting and other outdoor youth programs, where they would have a good environment and reason to use one.  Proper training occurs over time - a one time teaching session isn't enough.  Once you give them one it's best to create activities and opportunities to use it appropriately, once or twice a week, for a month or two, reiterating the rules each time, and demonstrating proper technique each time.  Need to cut a rope?  Don't take the easy way out and do it yourself, ask your youth to get their knife, then instruct them through the process.  Starting a fire?  Don't grab the cardboard and newspaper, have your youth grab their knife and teach them how to whittle kindling. The more ordinary and tool-like they view the knife, the more comfortable they'll be with it, and the less likely they'll get it out for things they shouldn't have it out for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do, however, expect them to leave the knives at home unless they are going to an activity where one is needed.  While I carried a knife to school without issue decades ago, as I worked on a horse farm and simply always had one on me, today schools typically don't permit any knives. Further, the temptation to use or show off the knife is strong in youth, so restricting them to carrying it only when needed helps prevent infractions and negative interactions with others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also don't teach knife use for self defense.  A knife is a tool for interacting with non-living materials - not against animals, trees, humans, etc.  If, at some point in the future, they take a self defense course that includes weapons training that's fine, but without proper training a knife is more often a liability in a fight than an asset, so we simply teach them it's not appropriate for that use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T14:34:39.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23309" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-12-09T15:09:02.347" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-09T15:09:02.347" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T15:09:02.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23310" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-12-09T15:09:02.347" Score="0" Body="Questions about teaching children safe and responsible use of tools." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-09T15:09:02.347" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T15:09:02.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T16:20:34.540" Score="48" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a scout leader from Germany. We allow children to carry pocket knives as young as 8, but only under these conditions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children with &quot;behavior problems&quot; are exempt (at the discretion of their leader).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they want to have one, they are first taught the rules of using knives (it's a tool and not a weapon, never cut towards your own body, never cut towards someone else's body, never put it where someone might sit down when it's open etc.).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are only allowed to use it when a leader is present.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One violation of the rules and we take it away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless, we do experience children (and adults &lt;em&gt;cough&lt;/em&gt;) cutting themselves with their knives from time to time, but rarely something a band-aid won't fix. Expect that your son will cut himself sooner or later. This is a normal part of learning how to handle a knife responsible (he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; vaccinated against tetanus, I hope). If you cannot deal with that, don't give him one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If parents want to give knives to their children but are unsure if the child can handle it responsibly, I usually advise parents to follow this course of action:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk with the child about the rules.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At first, keep the knife and have them ask if they want to use it and have them give it back when finished.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the child has proven that they can handle the knife responsibly, let them keep it permanently.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;By the way:&lt;/strong&gt; Some companies offer special &quot;children knives&quot; which don't have a tip and/or are intentionally dulled. In my opinion these knives are far more dangerous than a &quot;real&quot; knife because they are harder to control and teach bad security practices. I do not recommend buying these.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4659" LastEditorUserId="16319" LastEditDate="2015-12-11T08:55:57.407" LastActivityDate="2015-12-11T08:55:57.407" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T16:52:21.530" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in US, and my son age 10 has a tiny swiss-army type of knife because he loves gadgets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My biggest fear is that he would get into some silly argument with his buddies(my knife is better than your knife - look at it!), show them his knife, and will be accused of aggression. In US the consequences can be horrendous. &#xA;So he is only allowed to use it at home and outdoors with adults around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in my view, it is not the child's ability to handle a knife that limits his/her ability to carry one, but their tendency to boast, and misinterpretation of this boasting as aggression with weapon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9711" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T16:52:21.530" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23313" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23316" CreationDate="2015-12-09T17:28:55.620" Score="4" ViewCount="15048" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-month-old daughter is normally breastfeeding. However, we are starting to bottle-feed her with milk from her mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When breastfeeding she does fine: she eats as much as the breast can provide and then relaxes, burps or falls asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, when bottle-feeding she sometimes keeps sucking after the bottle is finished, so she just gets... air. After a few times of hearing the sound of air going up to her body, I have the feeling that this is not going to make her feel better, so I try to remove the bottle from her mouth. However, at that moment she starts crying very hard as if I was removing her food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way to make a baby notice that the bottle is done or should I wait until she notices herself, despite the amount of air she will &quot;eat&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-19T12:03:25.867" LastActivityDate="2019-07-19T12:03:25.867" Title="What to do if baby is still sucking when the bottle is finished?" Tags="|infant|bottle-feeding|soothing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T17:36:31.727" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;He needs to understand that it is only appropriate to carry the knife under certain circumstances and that trying to sneak it out without permission will be punished harshly. If he is not mature enough to understand that then I would not get it for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no idea what the policy of the sea cadets is on knives and would suggest you talk to them before making any descisions. It would be pretty gutting for him to be given the knife but then find he can't carry it even on activities where it would be appropriate to use one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19510" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T17:36:31.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T18:12:42.463" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am from Anchorage, Alaska, so I will not attempt to comment on UK law or social norms.  However, I grew up with knives and think I can comment on that aspect from another perspective.  Alaska is an idiosyncratic locale, and we are generally raised in a more experiential (i.e., learn not to cut yourself by accidentally cutting yourself) way.  I was given my first pocket knife at 6 or 7, and I cut my hands on accident many times as a child.  I never needed stitches, and now, as an adult, I am very safe with knives, axes, and other such tools.  However, I fully recognize that this style of parenting is a) not acceptable in some societies, b) maybe not even legal in some societies, and c) uncomfortable for parents who did not grow up similarly.  I think the other answers will respond to all of those aspects of the question better than I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The knife in particular is the bigger issue for me.  There are many misconceptions about knives.  First of all, you should know that a sharper knife is safer than a duller one, because cuts from dull knives infect easier, heal slower, and are more likely to leave scars.  Also, duller knives are more likely to be rusted (both dullness and rust come with age), which adds another dimension to the danger.  Hence, cheap, dull knives are often less safe.  Next, there is the issue of the locking blade.  Most if not all Swiss Army Knife blades do not lock open, meaning if you are cutting something and the blade hits something hard it could swing back and cut your hand.  This happened to my father as a child and he still bears a rather large scar on his hand.  For this reason, I would not recommend giving a Swiss Army Knife as a first knife to a child.  I would recommend finding a similar model from a competing company (there are many, such as Gerber or Buck- check REI for more companies and models) with a sharp, locking blade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first knife was a Multi-Tool.  Multi-Tool style knives generally come in the shape of pliers, which lock closed and come with handles containing a variety of small tools, including a knife.  These tend to have locking blades, as well as a variety of genuinely useful tools, such as screwdrivers, and a nail file.  I would recommend looking into a Multi-Tool knife as a safer alternative to the more traditional Swiss Army models.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20122" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T18:12:42.463" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23313" CreationDate="2015-12-09T18:14:19.633" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Until babies do notice, the solution is just to gently remove the bottle, and either replace with another bottle if she still needs more, or let her suck on a (clean) knuckle or fingertip. You shouldn't let her just suck on air, as she will need to burp a lot, and until she does it could be uncomfortable for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you looked at how much you are feeding her? It may just be that she needs more at this stage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T18:14:19.633" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23313" CreationDate="2015-12-09T18:15:14.930" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you wiggle the bottle to get the last drops into the nipple? This alone can signal the end of the bottle, especially if you start wiggling occassionally before it needs to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also hesitate to let your daughter suck air. In all likelihood, she'll burp it up, but in a less desirable scenario, some of it will make it to the small intestines where she'll have more gas and might be uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the reasons the breast is so nice is that they do soothe themselves on it after the hunger has passed, long enough to let them realize the hunger is gone (kind of like eating quickly and eating slowly; you will eat less doing the latter.) When you remove the bottle, it's like taking her off the breast prematurely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing we did was to make sure the nipple opening was only large enough to allow milk to pass with a &lt;em&gt;bit&lt;/em&gt; of work on the baby's part. That helped to slow down the rate of feeding so the baby could suck to soothe as well. Making sure the amount of formula/breastmilk was adequate was important too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you burp in the middle of the bottle (like when switching breasts), this may decrease the crying at the end, as separation from the bottle isn't always associated with... nothing more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Offering a bottle of warm water right away after feeding will allow her to suck if she feels the need, but the reaction when she realizes it's only water may be a bit dramatic as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then there's the pacifier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T18:15:14.930" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-09T18:32:40.073" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should talk to your Sea Cadet leader. Scouting and cadet organisations are used to dealing with both the laws and the practical safety aspects of children with knives. If I recall correctly from when my son was in Scouts, its basically illegal for him to carry it unless he is going to an event where the organisers have declared that knives are intended to be used, such as a weekend camp or the &quot;how to whittle a tent peg&quot; evening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T18:32:40.073" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23297" CreationDate="2015-12-09T19:29:37.977" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the baby is coughing, or spluttering, that means they are simply attempting to maintain his/her breathing whilst breastfeeding; they are not in danger.  Suckling and sucking take practice (they are two different mouth motions).  Your kid will figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastEditorUserId="20053" LastEditDate="2015-12-11T11:50:54.670" LastActivityDate="2015-12-11T11:50:54.670" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23313" CreationDate="2015-12-09T20:05:59.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies have a need to suck. It brings comfort. Breastfeeding has the advantage that it delivers milk &amp;amp; satisfies the need to suck at the same time. Drinking from the bottle, while requiring effort, does not satisfy this need enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is a very fast drinker, so when she finished a bottle, she got a pinky or a pacifier. I do admit that for my daughter, once her need was met, she lost all interest in the pacifier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19769" LastActivityDate="2015-12-09T20:05:59.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23322" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-09T22:36:52.580" Score="8" ViewCount="6056" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2.5 year old grandson I moved across the country to take care of and my daughter and I collide with what is safe to allow for him to do and not do..... For instance he likes to plug his light in and I tell him to ask for help and he does when he's with me but as soon as mama comes home he's plugging in the cord by him self..... She says it's one less thing for her to have to do?? Maybe I'm in the Stone Age and things have changed my daughter and son in law just laugh at me and say he will only get zapped once then he will know better...... Should I just let it go or is there anything to be concerned about?&#xA;From a concerned grandma &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20124" LastActivityDate="2017-07-17T07:27:53.380" Title="Is it safe for a 2.5 year old toddler to be allowed to plug in the light cord into the wall plug" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23322" CreationDate="2015-12-10T09:55:50.120" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you have to distinguish three points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Plugging in&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on your country and the used connector types, it may be possible to touch mains voltage while plugging in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;US&lt;/strong&gt; uses this connector type:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yrGXc.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yrGXc.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;US connector&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When pushing the connector into the plug, the pins will touch the contacts carrying mains voltage at some point where the connector is not yet fully plugged in. It may still be possible to touch the pins, especially with the tiny fingers of a small child. This is dangerous.&#xA;(Another danger: It's possible to push a thin wire, a piece of aluminum foil or similar between outlet and the plugged-in connector, and so to touch mains voltage.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;UK&lt;/strong&gt; uses this connector type, and a flat outlet similar to that of the US:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/aIb5q.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/aIb5q.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;UK connector&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here, the shaft of the pins is insulated (black plastic) and only the tip is made of metal. The pins will touch the contacts at a point when the entire metal part is already fully inserted into the hole of the plug. It's not possible to touch them any more at this point, which makes it safe.&#xA;I'm not sure if the pins have always been insulated, ancient connectors may have pins entirely of metal, which are not safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;May be an other example. The so-called &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schuko&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Schuko&lt;/a&gt; connector, used in Germany and several other European countries. Schuko doesn't have plastic insulation, but the shape of the outlet ensures you can not touch the pins when inserting the plug:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SKFCz.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SKFCz.png&quot; alt=&quot;Schuko plug and outlet&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, this three examples show the problems and two ways to avoid them, and it should be possible to judge if any other connector type is safe or not. From the technical side, I don't think I would allow a small child to plug in a connector in the US, while I have no concern in Germany / UK.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(And a comment: These connectors have two pins for &quot;current in&quot; and &quot;out&quot; and one pin/contact for protective earth. The latter doesn't carry voltage on it's own, so the problem of touching doesn't apply for it.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The outlet&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a small child, I watched my grandfather drilling a hole into the wall. Later on, I wanted to do so, too. As the knitting needle didn't well on the wall, I tried one of that &quot;pre-installed holes&quot;, but for luck got the &quot;current return&quot; hole without voltage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, there are tamper-resistant outlets which close the holes by a piece of plastic from inside. Only, when you try to insert something into two (or three) holes at the same time, they open. So, this prevents small handymen from inserting stuff. But you have to check if your outlets have this protection. (Mandatory for new installations in US/Canada since 2008/2009!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The child itself&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child knows from the adults that it's normal to put things into outlets all day. This makes it curious about that holes in the wall, and it may want to try other things.  So, if you forbid to plug the cord in, this may increase curiosity, but if you allow or encourage the child to do it, you point it to this holes.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I'm not sure what to advise here, as I'm more on the technical side. And as the parents already allowed it, it's a bit late to think about this point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a child should be teached to handle plugs and outlets responsibly and with the necessary respect. But... at age of 2.5?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Electrical shock&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...will only get zapped once then he will know better&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;May be, he won't be able to know better or do again!&lt;/strong&gt; Mains voltage is dangerous and can kill you! In most cases, people touching mains voltage manage to pull away their fingers quickly and only get a painful zap, but often enough, they get electrocuted. Even if it was only a zap, it is often advised to go to the hospital, as a zap could cause a cardiac arrest within  24 hours.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So, when it's so dangerous for adults, how dangerous is it for a small child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19364" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2017-07-17T07:27:53.380" LastActivityDate="2017-07-17T07:27:53.380" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23296" CreationDate="2015-12-10T21:13:38.757" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;On one hand, at least she's attentive. There are some truths to the concerns, but in most cases it's exaggerated and the paranoia comes from an assumption and not an actual scientific or medical basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Washing hands is a common one. You don't need your hands to be medically sterile to handle kids. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/how-clean-hygiene-germs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's a webmd article about it.&lt;/a&gt; - essentially, many of the common things you'll encounter in life are going to be surface bacteria and microbes that your body gets used to because it is introduced in gradual flow. Nursing will very measurably increase your baby's immune system, but even the greatest immune system will have an issue if it's kept in a basement its whole life then suddenly exposed to the world. There are people that clean pacifiers by washing them with their mouths before giving them to their kids. &lt;a href=&quot;http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/06/why-dirty-pacifiers-may-be-your-childs-friend/?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Medically supported that this can be beneficial&lt;/a&gt;. That's just one of the whacko things supporting limited exposure to things that otherwise seem like they would get your baby sick. Point is she might benefit from reading some kind of official sources supporting or debunking common fears about raising kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible she already does this. Over-reading can lead to even more paranoia, or &quot;caution&quot; if you feel paranoia is too strong of a word. Wait till she gets into carcinogens and common house stoves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a suggestion for how to handle her concerns. I don't know if therapy would help or hurt that situation. But I've dealt with people who demonstrate an unusual concern for pretty much every medical possibility, no matter how improbable, for the past 5 years and in the end they mellowed out as they saw the kids developing and mastering their own way of moving, playing, learning, etc. Being a parent is draining. It's possible the energy requirements of raising a kid will eventually defeat the energy required to maintain heavy concerns about so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, the chaos isn't helping much but it might be necessary for her. At the least it shows she cares about her baby and isn't likely to be one of those people who doesn't care and doesn't contribute. It's hard to deal with, I know. But for me she calmed down after a couple years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="13274" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T21:17:21.857" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T21:17:21.857" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23296" CreationDate="2015-12-10T22:17:30.683" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;First things first:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;No, not all mothers are as protective as your wife is and from what you write, her behaviour is far from normal. (But of course we have only your statement to go by.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what your comment suggests, you have no support from your inlaws, but it seems you need &lt;strong&gt;professional help&lt;/strong&gt;. More than even a benevolent family or stangers on the Internet can provide. Please make sure your wife sees a doctor, not because she insists about hygiene, but because you describe her as almost panicking outdoors and especially because you write&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My wife was afraid of everything from the time we met each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you might try to point out the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygiene_hypothesis&quot;&gt;hygiene hypothesis&lt;/a&gt; which suggests that exposure to bacteria and &quot;dirt&quot; is essential to develop a good imune system, but I doubt that this will influence your wife. I suspect very different mechanisms at work here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;But this is Parenting SE and we ultimately need to focus on your daughter.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a child to develop properly it is essential to have lots of different stimuli - that is to see, hear, touch, smell and taste many things. She needs to learn to trust not only her mother, but also her father and other caregivers. And this is very hard to acchieve if she spends most of her time inside with her mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies can be surprisingly adaptive and resilient. But if I were to predict the future (and note that this is purely speculative based on what I have personally witnessed over decades), I would expect two possible outcomes - either your child might turn out as fearful, compulsive and phobic as you describe her mother or violently break free at some point during puberty or early adolescence, going to other extremes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Please, please get professional help.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need counceling, both as a couple and individually, and if your wife continues keeping your child from you, I suggest you also get advice from a lawyer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-12-10T22:22:47.567" LastActivityDate="2015-12-10T22:22:47.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23328" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23329" CreationDate="2015-12-11T00:05:34.920" Score="0" ViewCount="588" Body="&lt;p&gt;So I'm 13 years old and in 7th grade. I have this friend that I met this year. She's been a really good friend to me but I wouldn't describe her a best friend. There has recently been some drama over someone liking her and she lashed out at that person in a group text I was in, using extreme expletives. I texted her about it and asked what was up, and she said this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The reason I yell and lash out all the time is because I am constantly sad. I'm lonely. Even when surrounded by a lot of friends I still feel alone all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you all of that. I'm going to go, bye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And dont think about it. I'm fine don't worry I won't do anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've been as supportive as possible but as she opens up to me more and more it seems more like she needs to tell someone who can help her about it. From what she's told me, I have a suspicion she is bipolar. I've encouraged her to go to a doctor or to our guidance counselor, but she says that she 'can't trust them' and that the doctor would recommend pills which would 'screw her up even more'. She has told me she doesn't want me to tell anyone about it, and I said that I would only tell an adult who can help if I think she needs it, but I if I did she would never forgive me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do about this? What can I say, and should I tell her parents? I want to help her, but this is scary to me.&#xA;If any more info is needed, feel free to ask in the comments.&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;Sorry if this is off topic, as it isn't a question directly about parenting, but it seems to be &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/226/would-we-accept-questions-about-parents/227#227&quot;&gt;on topic&lt;/a&gt; from what I have read on meta.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20136" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2018-07-02T17:30:59.167" LastActivityDate="2018-07-02T17:30:59.167" Title="My friend opened up to me about depression" Tags="|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2015-12-11T05:36:11.273" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23328" CreationDate="2015-12-11T01:15:06.707" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you tell or do you keep it to yourself?  My rule when I come across situations like that is to answer this question:  If I stay silent, could this person get hurt?  If the answer is no or probably not, then you can stay silent.  If the answer is yes, then you need to tell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that she is opening up to you and talking to you about it probably means that she really wants help...she feels a need to tell someone and, for some reason, she feels like you are that person.  You must be a really caring person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, this is sort of beyond the realm of the average 13-year-old.  You're not a counselor or her parent.  I think you have to at least tell her parents.  And she is probably going to be angry with you and hurt and betrayed.  And that's ok.  She has every right to feel that way.  But she is not able to handle this on her own and neither are you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes people resist treatment or diagnosis because they're afraid.  They're afraid of what that diagnosis could mean or what the treatment is going to involve, but running from a problem won't make it magically go away.  And, if this person is really your friend, if she attempted to harm herself or even succeeded, you would forever wish that you had said something earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, someday, once she's gotten the help she needs, she'll understand why you did what you did and she won't be angry with you anymore.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2272" LastActivityDate="2015-12-11T01:15:06.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23330" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23336" CreationDate="2015-12-11T01:54:24.057" Score="3" ViewCount="900" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old son is having a difficult time falling asleep for his daily nap, which was previously not an issue. He had been napping from about 11:45-1:45, but now he fights it desperately and won't fall asleep. I was thinking that it might help if we tried to nap later in the afternoon, but I'm worried that this will make going to bed at night (which is currently not a problem) an issue. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20138" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-11T11:35:06.283" LastActivityDate="2022-10-21T11:24:30.023" Title="How late in the day can my 2 year old nap?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23331" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23333" CreationDate="2015-12-11T04:22:25.943" Score="0" ViewCount="586" Body="&lt;p&gt;The son is in his early 40s. He has achieved financial independence after a decade of patient saving and investing despite a lacklustre career and even losing his job a couple of times. The father feels proud that the son is able to take care of himself financially despite bad luck in life. The son has never given the father cause to worry, at least when it comes to money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently, the son announces that he want to retire and become a loafer. Rather than stay in a job or start some business in order to contribute to society, the son prefers to loaf around and invest/trade full-time to earn a living. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, how would you advise the son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4927" LastActivityDate="2015-12-11T06:20:57.683" Title="How should a parent advise a relatively young son who chooses to retire early and be a loafer after he has achieved financial independence?" Tags="|adult-child|money|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2015-12-18T07:42:41.003" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23333" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23331" CreationDate="2015-12-11T06:20:57.683" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the father in this situation, the first thing I would do is thoroughly examine my life to find why I think that remaining idle after retirement is a bad idea.  Having developed philosophically sound reasons for continuing to work hard even when it is not necessary, I would then expound these to my son and try to bring him around to my viewpoint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's all very well to have a strong work ethic, but it doesn't automatically appeal to everyone.  It is a belief system and as such it must be vigorously proselytized.  I can't just wave my hands around and say it's a good thing; I have to tell my son &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; it's a good thing.  And I can't do that unless I &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; why and can articulate the reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if I &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; develop philosophically sound reasons for continuing to work hard even when it is not necessary, then my son is living right, and I should just shut up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more thing must be noted here: investing and trading full-time to earn a living does not automatically equate to loafing around.  Done properly, it is damn hard work, and significantly increases the common wealth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20142" LastActivityDate="2015-12-11T06:20:57.683" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2238" CreationDate="2015-12-11T09:28:15.657" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, there is a difference between bottle feeding and direct nursing. Recently I read an article about it. Accordingly it says, antibodies are produced in breast milk as per baby's environment, like saliva and germs. When you pump, only that environment's antibodies are present. When you nurse you would get antibodies of the present exposure. And the act of nursing in baby requires different jaw movements which gives proper structure in facial development further leading to better speech and development, whereas bottle feeding means they are overfed which may lead to obesity...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in cases if you are working or due to any health conditions you can't nurse... bottle breast milk is always better than formula milk...&#xA;Something is better than nothing.&#xA;When there is chance, go for it.&#xA;What you give now, will give immunity for your sweetheart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20146" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-08T21:55:31.830" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T21:55:31.830" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23330" CreationDate="2015-12-11T09:45:21.490" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no hard and fast rule on this - all babies are different. With all three of mine, they would have a mid to late afternoon nap at that age and still went down at their usual bedtime, which was around 7pm for the girls (my son wanted and needed far less sleep than them, so had a bed time closer to midnight)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest in your case that if he is currently too awake to nap at 11:45 try moving his nap time to half an hour or an hour later and see if he goes down more easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-12-11T09:45:21.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23340" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23346" CreationDate="2015-12-12T03:15:26.050" Score="5" ViewCount="657" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the single dad of a wonderful son. We have recently moved to a new house only a few miles away from where we previously lived, but it is in another school zone. So I have been debating moving him to the new school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, it is not a big a deal. I now live close to the new school, but work close to the old school. So taking him there is only a couple minutes out of my way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is almost 11, and in 5th grade. He is very friendly, outgoing and intelligent. So I know he would make new friends fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are my thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Next year he would be going to a new school anyway - middle school, again in the other school zone. I have already discussed with him that next year, he is going to a different, bigger school, and NONE of his current friends will be there.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2) If we move schools over Christmas, then he will be able to meet kids that are in our new neighborhood, and will be going to middle school with him.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;3) He has many good friends at school, and wants to finish the school year with them. I also like his friends.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;4) Both schools are rated highly, and I like his current teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, do I move him to the new school, or let him enjoy the rest of the school year with his friends?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20154" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-12T05:11:21.090" LastActivityDate="2015-12-12T18:21:19.717" Title="Do I move my son to a new school?" Tags="|school|pre-teen|single-parent|moving|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23341" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23340" CreationDate="2015-12-12T10:50:11.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both options seem equally good from your description.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you considered other downsides of the move, such as trying to make friends there? At middle school there will be lots of other kids trying to make friends, but a year before the end of this school may be difficult to become part of established groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no right answer, at the end of the day I'd suggest you and your son writing a list of pros and cons and going through the list to make a decision on what seems to work best for you both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-12-12T10:50:11.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23340" CreationDate="2015-12-12T11:47:09.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child appears to have expressed a preference to stay at the current school.  You don't appear to have any particularly strong evidence for either staying at the current school, or for moving to the new school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child has a right to be involved in decisions about them, and so in this situation where you don't seem to mind much either way you should probably listen to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you should make sure that you and your child are aware of any benefits or problems of moving / staying before you make the decision.  And the choice is still yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Family-Moves-014.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Many children find the process of changing school to be disruptive and distressing&lt;/a&gt;. It's probably a bad idea to subject your child to this amount of disruption and distress unless you have a very good reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-12T11:47:09.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23343" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23340" CreationDate="2015-12-12T15:03:54.140" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in the same situation as yourself. One daughter finishing grade 6 before moving to middle school, the other in grade four. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The move was occasioned by a messy divorce and financial downsizing, so everyone was rattled. I kept the girls at the old school to finish the year, so there would be some continuity. The following year, the older went to middle school and the younger went to the local elementary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, it took the younger all of grade 5 to stop complaining about the move and realize that she had found an awesome bunch of new friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also used Skype and social media to keep up with the old friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my school district, we only had a choice for the transition year. After that, you had to go with your local. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably best to minimize the amount of change in you son's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11382" LastActivityDate="2015-12-12T15:03:54.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2611" CreationDate="2015-12-12T15:04:21.223" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you kids age is 3, then start teaching him how to brush his/her teeth with a manual toothbrush.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They won't be able to brush on the first day. Keep teaching them and hopefully, after a couple of days, your kid will be able to brush his own teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an article that can help: &lt;a href=&quot;http://ibreathbad.com/kid-ready-for-an-electric-toothbrush/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;When is your kid ready for a toothbrush?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A useful quote from that site:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, all health experts recommend you to start brushing your kid’s teeth when he/she is 3. Other than choosing this as the suitable age to start brushing their teeth, they also leave the option of choosing the toothbrush to use to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means that it’s okay to allow your kids to use either an electric or manual toothbrush at age 3!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20158" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T10:41:11.460" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23345" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2015-12-12T15:07:13.077" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;How old is your kid? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could find some amazing toothbrushing songs featuring cartoons on youtube. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him see those songs, hopefully, he will start to brush himslef!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20158" LastActivityDate="2015-12-12T15:07:13.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23340" CreationDate="2015-12-12T18:21:19.717" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both are valid options, but reading your post carefully I'd suggest finishing the school year at the old school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A list of pro's (in somewhat random order):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finishing at his old school should give him some sense of closure - this phase ends for all the current kids next summer. So I can understand that he doesn't want to leave prematurely but (perhaps subconciously) wants &quot;to grow out of it&quot; or &quot; say goodbye&quot; with his friends.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Starting in a new class at a random time during the school year will mean he missed a lot of the discussions, agreements and general &quot;settling into school&quot; events the others did at the beginning of the school year - the pecking order and formation of groups is already established. It can be tough to get included. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Neither he nor you don't know about the quirks etc. of the teachers which the others already do and by the time you get the hang of it, the year will be almost over. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There will be some gaps and overlap with the topics covered, meaning extra work to make sure he covered everything he will need next year. If you change at Christmas it may well mean that you will spend January and February copying notes to make sure that he's literally on the same page as the others.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Changing school twice in one year can be really unsettling.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your suggestion that he should get to know a few kids he will go to middleschool with is basically a good idea. But it need not happen at school:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let your son participate in whatever local activities are offered - church, sports, perhaps other clubs come to mind. A good way to get to know your neighbours (and the neighbourhood), even if you attend a different school.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The US has a long summer break - which is a perfect time to make new friends, really get to know them (without lessons or homework that &quot;get in the way&quot;) and head off to the new school together. Why don't you look into whatever programs or camps are offered locally? If you put some effort into meeting your new neighbours now, it should be easy to make good plans for the summer. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-12-12T18:21:19.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23348" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-13T04:16:58.993" Score="3" ViewCount="260" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently we moved across the country. Prior to this, my daughter always loved bedtime stories and we read three stories every night. Her grandma got her a &quot;nabi&quot; that she's now grown to love. She no longer wants me to read her stories before bed because she says the nabi has storybooks that read to her. It hurts my feelings a bit as this was our special time, and I don't think it's good for her to be watching that before bed. But at the same time they are just stories with interactive pictures. Is this normal? I've tried making funny crazy voices to make it more fun but she tells me that I can read to myself! Lol :( any advice would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20165" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T11:13:21.743" Title="3 year old no longer interested in bedtime stories" Tags="|reading|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23349" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-13T08:41:01.420" Score="15" ViewCount="3220" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a  very curious 10 month old daughter who and touches and examines everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to take her to a small national park and show her trees, bark, and pieces of wood and rocks on the beach. I'd like to let her sit on the grass, play in the small forest, play on the beach (rocks about palm/hand sized), etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My baby puts things in her mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it ok if the baby picks up a rock, a leaf, or a piece of wood and examines it with her mouth (of course I'd make sure the item is big enough so she can't ingest it and that the item does not show any signs of containing or being covered with harmful substances.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the benefits this kind of mouthing of objects? What are the disadvantages? Are there any dangers for the baby in doing what I described?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20074" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-13T17:50:07.040" LastActivityDate="2017-05-31T09:58:40.243" Title="Is it ok to play with a 10 months old baby in nature?" Tags="|safety|hygiene|playground|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23350" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-13T08:50:54.763" Score="2" ViewCount="134" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand staircases are very dangerous for babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have only one staircase at our home. The staircase is 20 cm high.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our baby is very curious and wants to go down that one staircase (20 cm high) and into the other room to explore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to safely introduce the staircase to my baby. How should I do this?&#xA;How should I approach teaching a 10 months old baby about the staircase?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20074" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-13T17:53:54.677" LastActivityDate="2015-12-13T17:53:54.677" Title="How to behave with 10 months old baby around staircases?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2015-12-13T17:52:32.377" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23350" CreationDate="2015-12-13T10:57:29.683" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you need a &lt;a href=&quot;http://parent.guide/how-to-baby-proof-your-stairs/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby gate&lt;/a&gt; (the link is just an example, you can definitely Google from more options). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using a baby gate allows you to block the staircase from either side, preventing the bay from accidentally using it. The height might not sound as much, by babies are rather fragile. You can transport the baby from on room to the other by carrying him / her. The room can now be safely explored!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would wait with introducing the staircase as something to explore until he / she can walk stably (without keeling over of doing a buttdrop) and with confidence (young walkers tend to &quot;stamp&quot; the ground).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19769" LastActivityDate="2015-12-13T10:57:29.683" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23350" CreationDate="2015-12-13T11:45:45.987" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The key word here: &lt;strong&gt;Backwards&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As soon as your baby starts to move independently, teach him or her how to manage obstacles. And the safest way is to slide down backwards. Start as soon as they crawl and pick one &lt;em&gt;keyword&lt;/em&gt; - like &quot;backwards&quot; - that you use whenever he gets to crawl or slide down either from a mattress, down a stair or later down the sofa. Help him to turn his rear towards &quot;the abbyss&quot; and go down feet first. With some patience and constant reminders, it will become automatic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With only one step or &quot;mini-staircase&quot; in your house, this is the comparatively safe and in any case more versatile tactic compared to simply blocking access.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-12-13T11:45:45.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23349" CreationDate="2015-12-13T12:19:36.503" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general you should try to make sure the items a child puts in their mouth are somewhat clean.  This doesn't mean &quot;sterile&quot;. A single accidental chewing will be low risk, but repeated chewings of different items increases the risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You ask about risks, so here's a list:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The item might be carrying a parasite. One common parasite (common in domesticated dogs and cats, but also present in foxes) is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxocariasis/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;toxocara worm&lt;/a&gt;. This can cause serious illness.  Washing hands before eating is a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A U.S. study in 1996 showed that 30% of dogs younger than 6 months deposit Toxocara eggs in their feces; other studies have shown that almost all puppies are born already infected with Toxocara canis. Research also suggests that 25% of all cats are infected with Toxocara cati. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If people walk their dogs in this national park you should make sure the child does not eat any dirt.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The item might be toxic. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The child might be allergic to the item (although this is unlikely).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's probably not a good idea to let the child use her mouth to explore stuff when she's at a national park.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastEditorUserId="6902" LastEditDate="2015-12-13T23:39:27.023" LastActivityDate="2015-12-13T23:39:27.023" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23349" CreationDate="2015-12-13T13:34:07.997" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking anywhere that you can go, your 10-month-old can go too.  So really it's about weighing up risk and reward, a task which absolutely lacks black and white distinctions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously if you're letting them explore at all then you need to be aware of your surroundings and your child's capabilities; for example if there are any trip hazards or anything they might fall on which might hurt them.  It's also worth making sure you're prepared for the trip with things you might not normally carry in case of any minor mishaps, a towel if you plan to get wet, things like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soil/dirt and just about anything you find anywhere contains all sorts of microbial life which you cannot see, so a visual inspection may not be that useful and while touching it is ok, I'd discourage them from eating it.  Some of that life is bad for us (like Toxocara as mentioned in another answer is rarely a serious problem) but some is highly beneficial to us.  Regular exposure to a wide range of microbial fauna, while carrying a risk of illness, also results in improvements to the immune system which will obviously benefit them in later life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rocks, grass, a bit of tree bark... the whole world is full of wonder and on balance the benefits more than outweigh the risks.  If you spent every day worrying about the risks then you're never going to get any pleasure in life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy the park!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-12-13T13:34:07.997" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23349" CreationDate="2015-12-13T19:54:11.837" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is a great idea. Although I'm not near a national park, generally speaking it's not much different than letting them play in the backyard. Doctor's typically recommend a certain amount of sun exposure for infants anyway, vitamin D, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're going to supervise her, which of course you will, then let her have a ball. I wouldn't recommend she put anything in her mouth, but just being outside and touching everything and seeing the different colors, textures, etc will be plenty of stimulation. The safety implications can range, strictly speaking their diet shouldn't consist of 'people food' if I recall correctly, so at the very least you'd be violating that rule should she ingest anything and decide to 'live off the land'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't forget to tell her everything she is touching with plenty of adjectives(i.e., &quot;&lt;em&gt;Look at the green leaf, isn't it sticky? Wow see the soft brown dirt? Isn't this pink worm squishy?&lt;/em&gt;) That stuff really sticks. I still don't know how my 3 year old knows all the animals she does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastActivityDate="2015-12-13T19:54:11.837" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23356" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-13T23:09:33.293" Score="10" ViewCount="4465" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2 year old son. He is our first kid. Recently he started throwing things at others kids which hurts them. I have done the following things to stop that behavior but they didn’t work:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take him into the bedroom and told him it is not good and it hurts the other. He is still doing that.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Whenever he does it I say “Stop. And don’t do that”. He does it more.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stopped paying the attention. He gets frustrated and throws more things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don’t know how to make him stop throwing things. It really hurts other kids and sometimes he throws things at us, which hurts us too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we stop him throwing things?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="20215" LastEditDate="2015-12-17T00:26:40.707" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T00:26:40.707" Title="How to make 2 years old toddler stop throwing things at others?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23349" CreationDate="2015-12-14T00:20:22.637" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started taking our daughter on hikes when she was about 3 months old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, the most danger is the drive to/from the park and sun burn (getting a kid to wear sunglasses is hard, but a very good idea--essential if you are at elevation, along with a hat).  A child w/o sunglasses can burn their cornea in a half hour of playing in the snow at 6,000' and it &lt;em&gt;hurts&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't loose too much sleep over toxocariasis if you clean hands before eating, try to limit the amount of dirt/dog-cat-fox feces they eat.  Toxocara varies by where you live.  The parasite doesn't develop in soil &amp;lt;10°C, and temps below -15°C kill them.  If you live in a warm, moist part of the US, then the risk is much greater than for those of us living up north or out West where there isn't enough moisture in the soil for the eggs to develop.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are swimming with them, don't let them drink the water.  Giardia is very common any place humans have been, and makes life hard for those contracting it as well as those who have to change their diapers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Insects are a bigger risk than eating dirt (or even dog poop) in most parts of the US. Read about the proper insect repellent for use in children your daughter's age (avoid DEET; you might treat their clothing and some netting with  permethrin.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20170" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T05:06:02.127" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T05:06:02.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23356" CreationDate="2015-12-14T06:53:54.500" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;When our daughter's &quot;throwing stuff&quot; period had started, &lt;strong&gt;we didn't tell her that she can't throw stuff. We told her that only balls are for throwing&lt;/strong&gt; - and since we only have those small, light, air-filled plastic balls that are used in playhouses and a rubber ball and a cloth ball, she couldn't hurt anyone or destroy anything of value with those. &lt;strong&gt;We took everything else she tried to throw and gave her a plastic ball instead&lt;/strong&gt;. We even did some throwing with her, picking a target and trying to hit it (with little success on her side;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And she did throw for a week or two. And then she just stopped, deciding that it was actually not very fun. I think that the lack of permission is sometimes fueling the urge to do some stuff. Once it is allowed, even in a limited way, the pleasure and fun goes away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T06:53:54.500" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23356" CreationDate="2015-12-14T10:57:38.927" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you think they are about to throw something then you can try to &lt;strong&gt;distract them&lt;/strong&gt;, that may involve asking them a question about the thing they are holding that requires an answer or directing them towards using the toy in a way they weren't thinking about - for example &lt;em&gt;&quot;can you drive your car to the shops?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;&quot;what colour is your car?&quot;&lt;/em&gt;  Or do something entirely different (tickling is excellent if your child happens to be ticklish).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't work then if you get to them in time then &lt;strong&gt;remove the object&lt;/strong&gt;, take it away from them and put it both out of reach but also somewhere visible.  Remind them that the behaviour is bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should they become obstinate or just start throwing things without warning then it's time to start the &lt;strong&gt;time-out&lt;/strong&gt; process.  If they're unlikely to hurt others this will involve a count (I normally use 3, some use 5) and then a trip to the time-out spot/chair/step if the behaviour doesn't change.  If they have a near-miss, hurt others or damaged something then the lack of a count reinforces that the act they have committed is more serious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you've decided to put them in timeout then they &lt;strong&gt;cannot negotiate&lt;/strong&gt; their way out and should get no contact (don't even look at them if you don't have to) until the time (around 1 minute for each year of age) is finished.  We jokingly say that &quot;we do not negotiate with terrorists!&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they leave the spot you've put them in then timeout begins again.  If they persist in moving then they may need to be held in timeout until the time is up, and if so that should be done without talking to them and with minimal eye-contact.  I've had my 3-year-old do 30 minutes before now... but we are the adults and our resolve will always be stronger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the timeout is finished then you can &lt;strong&gt;explain&lt;/strong&gt; to them why they were excluded (older children should be asked why and pressed for an answer) and that you would rather have fun than do timeouts.  Make it clear that you love them but that you disapprove of the behaviour and they should say sorry to you and anyone they've upset or hurt.  This is a really important part, because it is where the education happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point you &lt;strong&gt;get back to having fun&lt;/strong&gt;, it's important to do this as, no matter how angry with them you may be, you have to work on toddler-time which runs much faster than adult time.  Equally, they may be a repeat offender and it's important to remember that while we link the events of 30 minutes ago, they might not and it might take a few time-out trips for them to link the bad behaviour with a timeout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For each setting there should be a &lt;strong&gt;consistent set of expectations&lt;/strong&gt; that are consistently (rigidly) enforced by everyone who cares for the child and eventually you'll get good behaviour.  Good enough anyway...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T10:57:38.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23361" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23362" CreationDate="2015-12-14T14:46:40.863" Score="16" ViewCount="1602" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have to choose between 2 good schools but one of them is rather small. There are about 8 children in the class. Is it bad or good for a child to be in a low populated classroom? Social interaction will be a bit less, but than again the personal coaching will be better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our child would go there from 2.5 years until she reaches the age to go to a primary school at around 6.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20182" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T15:20:15.070" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T20:14:32.170" Title="Is a small kindergarten class a problem?" Tags="|pre-schooler|social-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23361" CreationDate="2015-12-14T15:52:34.363" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the age you're talking about, teacher:student ratio seems more important than student count.  If the larger class you're looking at has a poorer ratio, I wouldn't choose that (absent other reasons for choosing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teacher to student ratio of 1:8 is a reasonable ratio at 3; at 2.5 I'd say it's even a little low.  2.5 year olds want - need - attention from adults, and it can be difficult in a larger class to get that attention.  In my state (Illinois), 1:8 would be the &lt;a href=&quot;http://illinoisearlylearning.org/faqs/cc-options.htm&quot;&gt;maximum ratio&lt;/a&gt; allowed at 2.5; while you could have more than 8 kids in a class, you'd need more teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning socialization is quite possible with a smaller group.  Eight is plenty to have some diversity; you may want to find out how much diversity there actually is of course in both schools, of course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My children (4 and 2.5) go to a morning preschool and afternoon daycare, and have both kinds of experiences.  The morning preschool is large, 25 kids in the main class (Montessori style); the afternoon daycare is smaller, usually around 8 kids there.  In the morning, while there are a lot of children there, my older child has only a couple of friends - most of the kids he doesn't really play with (when playing, of course they're doing work most of the day).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the smaller setting, though, I find that he is more often interacting with all of the children - even the littler ones.  I'm not sure why this is; whether a smaller group leads to it being easier to form relationships with all of them, perhaps because the larger group is overwhelming; or because a smaller group requires interacting with all of them from time to time; or something else.  But it definitely leads to a more concrete social group rather than a bunch of small cliques or groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So - I would suggest that a class of 8 is fine, as far as learning socialization goes, and if it is the better school otherwise, particularly with teacher:student ratio, it would be a good choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2015-12-14T20:14:32.170" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T20:14:32.170" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23361" CreationDate="2015-12-14T15:58:33.650" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally would choose the smaller over the larger group for small children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Social interaction always occurs between a few children at a time. Admittedly, the choice of &quot;friends&quot; is somewhat reduced in smaller classes, but there are significant benefits:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;More attention from the teacher.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Even the best teacher can only spend on average [time per school day]:[number of children] time watching over or interacting with your child - smaller classes means less attention, especially as there will always be those &quot;special cases&quot; that need more time due to social / academic / other challenges. Provided you have an attentive teacher this can mean special talents or weaknesses of your child get discovered earier and appropriate individual support is possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This allows for other teaching methods.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;With a small group, conducting experiments, discussions and teaching self-directed learning is easier. I don't say it is not feasible for larger classes, but it can be more difficult.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reduced noise level&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Put twenty children in a classroom and you will be tempted to wear ear plugs. Even with good discipline there will be a significant noise level at times, if only from shuffling feet, silent murmurs and the odd noises children tend to make. And getting a handfull of small children to calm down is way easier that a large class.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also note that a small class is excellent for &quot;beginners&quot;, but the class might get more children over time - people move, change schools, classes get re-arranged... Unless you have reason to think otherwise (school policy, for example) I would not take the current class size as set in stone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T15:58:33.650" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14296" CreationDate="2015-12-14T18:03:41.017" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that your child probably appeared astonished because she was starting to exhibit object permanence:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The ability to create and hold a mental schema of an object is one of the milestones in cognitive development. Developmental scientists have named the behavioral manifestation of this competence object permanence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The great child psychologist Piaget maintained that object permanence develops around 8 months of age, but he named that process of cognitive development the sensorimotor stage:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Piaget hid a toy under a blanket, while the child was watching, and observed whether or not the child searched for the hidden toy. Searching for the hidden toy was evidence of object permanence. Piaget assumed that the child could only search for a hidden toy if s/he had a mental representation of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once we develop object permanence, we never lose it. That is precisely why magic works: it goes against what we've learned as a fact through experience. Babies are as astonished as we are as adults; it's just a lot easier to trick them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053811902911705&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Frontal Lobe Activation during Object Permanence: Data from Near-Infrared Spectroscopy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0010027785900083&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Object permanence in five-month-old infants&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.simplypsychology.org/sensorimotor.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sensorimotor Stage&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T18:03:41.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14295" CreationDate="2015-12-14T18:24:42.353" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not how tall she grows, but how steadily she grows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/af4h3.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/af4h3.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a growth chart for an infant girl from birth to 36 months. The chart is based on the growth patterns of thousands of babies to determine what is &quot;normal&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 55 cm at birth, that would place her above the 95th %ile.&#xA;At 71 cm at 13 months, that would place her just at the 10th %ile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means she had &quot;dropped&quot; more than three percentile groups or &quot;crossed&quot; more than three percentile lines. That is considered by most physicians to indicate a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the newer WHO growth charts &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/who_charts.htm#The%20WHO%20Growth%20Charts&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;available here&lt;/a&gt;, the same phenomenon occurs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(You can see that her weight is a different matter.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should definitely discuss this with your doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T18:24:42.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23366" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23302" CreationDate="2015-12-14T19:04:14.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A recent company I worked for disallowed carrying a Swiss Army Knife, so I changed things up a bit and carried a &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.to/1YaJP3n&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Leatherman 831488 Style PS Multi-Tool&lt;/a&gt;. This is a multi-tool with some most-requested features, but explicitly be designed to be openly allowed by the US TSA to be taken through airport security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may, or may not, be an appropriate solution to your goals, but it might be worth considering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7404" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T19:04:14.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14276" CreationDate="2015-12-14T19:13:57.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Advertisements are made to purposefully manufacture a need, and it's usually a need based on a false reality: you will be happier/have more friends/feel more loved/whatever deep needs people have. What a sad thing it is to allow a child to feel like they are less fulfilled because of a consumer product. Marketing is the same towards adults, only the message is a bit more refined.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't let my kids watch shows with advertisements until they were old enough to analyze the ads with me. And we did analyze all the ads. I taught them to look for what the ad was really saying, and was that true? Why would manufacturers want you to think that? Who is profiting from this advertisement? (In effect, &lt;em&gt;cui bobo&lt;/em&gt;?) Not a bad habit to get into when viewing ads, I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, once they were old enough to view ads with a more discerning eye, they were old enough to crave new programs, so more TV shows creeped into their viewing. But for a long, long time, it was DVD's and public television (no ads then.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T19:13:57.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23368" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23361" CreationDate="2015-12-14T19:27:25.583" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The general consensus is that the smaller the classroom the more personal attention each child gets from the teacher and therefore the lesser the chance of any child slipping trough the proverbial cracks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;8 per class does seem like exceptionally few. Even at the most high brow establishments I'm from you would still expect 12 - 15 children per class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17171" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T19:27:25.583" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21760" CreationDate="2015-12-14T19:38:13.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is somewhat difficult to approach child rearing in a bilingual setting. If both parents are committed to teaching there own language to the child then there has to be a commitment from both parents to teach the children the languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not expect the school to be doing the leg work for you. You have to engage the child in these languages from a young age and not let them default to the language that they find easiest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case I would advice you to make your husband speak Spanish with his children and ask the children to speak Spanish with him. The same should be done with you and the speaking of English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that whatever difficulties you may face in the beginning in the end you will be giving your children a great gift. Speaking Spanish I'm sure is in itself a skill that could be greatly useful in some work situations in the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore what you are also doing is you are enabling your children to understand the culture that there father hails from. The old saying that you can not truly understand a people if you do not speak there language is very much true and if you see this trough your children will at the very least understand there father better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which would be great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17171" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T19:38:13.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14163" CreationDate="2015-12-14T19:41:24.560" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bacteria, mold and other things need a medium in which to grow, something with nutrients, like humus (decomposed organic matter, not the chick pea mash). Good quality sand (and it is usually washed before it's bagged) has no humus in it; there is almost nothing to it but little lumps of silicon dioxide. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In time it will collect humus (cat feces can be considered infected humus) in the form of leaves, grass clippings, etc. If you're not afraid of these, no need to be afraid of clean, wet play sand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-play/Pages/Safety-in-the-Sandbox.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;other considerations about play sand from the American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-12-14T19:41:24.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23371" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23372" CreationDate="2015-12-14T21:31:00.957" Score="16" ViewCount="5527" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was getting tea today and noticed those cute little honey packets made by Heinz. At the bottom of the packet it says:&#xA; &lt;em&gt;DO NOT FEED TO CHILDREN UNDER 12 MONTHS OLD&lt;/em&gt; - why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GEQVE.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/GEQVE.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20187" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-19T16:12:29.033" LastActivityDate="2018-12-19T16:12:29.033" Title="Why do Heinz's Honey packets say not to give them to children under 12 months?" Tags="|infant|health|age-appropriate|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23371" CreationDate="2015-12-14T21:53:16.420" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honey is not recommended at all for babies under one year of age because of the risk of infant botulism. The risk isn't big, but if it happens, it can be life-threatening. Avoiding honey until the child is older is an easy way to prevent this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To protect your baby from infant botulism:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't offer honey. Wild honey is a potential source of &lt;em&gt;C. botulinum&lt;/em&gt; spores. Avoid giving honey — even a tiny taste — to babies under the age of 1 year&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/infant-botulism/faq-20058477&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Stephie points out, the spores are very &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs270/en/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;heat-resistant&lt;/a&gt; and require heating to &lt;a href=&quot;http://scienceline.ucsb.edu/getkey.php?key=1307&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;more than water's boiling point&lt;/a&gt; to kill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T06:21:22.223" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23373" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-12-15T00:15:36.717" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-15T00:15:36.717" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T00:15:36.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23374" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-12-15T00:15:36.717" Score="0" Body="Habits or opinions that cause disagreement, and how to resolve those differences." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-15T00:15:36.717" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T00:15:36.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23375" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-12-15T00:16:51.633" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-15T00:16:51.633" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T00:16:51.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23376" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-12-15T00:16:51.633" Score="0" Body="Education that is provided by parents at home, as opposed to a school setting." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-15T00:16:51.633" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T00:16:51.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23377" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-15T02:54:13.040" Score="57" ViewCount="11246" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have this little discussion here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/23269/should-i-let-my-baby-play-with-oranges/23284?noredirect=1#comment46111_23284&quot;&gt;Should I let my baby play with oranges?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that it is always better for parents to avoid disagreeing, arguing, etc., in front of the kids, especially when they're young. I thought it was basic common sense, but it seems not everyone agrees to that statement. I'm interested in the different point of views on the matter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-12-23T04:12:05.950" Title="Is it ok to disagree in front of the kids?" Tags="|arguments|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23371" CreationDate="2015-12-15T04:48:58.340" Score="28" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Botulism&quot;&gt;Botulism spores&lt;/a&gt; are one of the very few things that can survive in honey, and even then, they can only do it by becoming totally inactive.  In an adult, stomach acid will destroy those spores, and normal gut microbes will eliminate any that survive to reach the small intestine&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An infant's stomach isn't acidic enough to do the job, and their intestinal microflora haven't fully developed yet.  Because of this, it's possible for those spores to become active in the small intestine, leading to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.infantbotulism.org/readings/ibchap.pdf&quot;&gt;infant botulism&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Adult botulism is caused when botulism bacteria grow in improperly-preserved food, producing botulism toxin.  Cooking kills the bacteria, but does not destroy the toxin.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T04:48:58.340" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-15T04:55:55.487" Score="88" Body="&lt;p&gt;I firmly believe it is &lt;em&gt;inevitable&lt;/em&gt; that two people in close contact over time will disagree; that this is part of being a alive and having healthy desires. Failure to openly disagree because of cultural submission, politeness, etc., should not be mistaken as lack of disagreement. The way in which people disagree - openly, respectfully, cherishing the other, with a mind towards common ground - can be healthy and can bring them closer together. Alternatively it can be unhealthy, resulting in emotional harm to one degree or another to one party. What you espouse in your comments as the ideal is in fact very far from it. If you can't model how to disagree in love, you can't model a vital part of cherishing a person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think it's perfectly fine to disagree in front of children - &lt;em&gt;about some things&lt;/em&gt;. Points to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disagreements occur all the time. Parents can model healthy ways to disagree and to solve conflict to their children. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your child will disagree with you all the time. Pretending parents don't disagree might send a message that adults get over that kind of thing, which would create an unrealistic world view for the child. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Disagreeing respectfully helps children learn that they won't lose a parent's love because they have different opinions. Learning to think for oneself is a life skill that's inhibited if parents pretend disagreements don't occur between two people who love each other.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No one is perfect. Imagine if parents had to support each other in what is an obvious mistake. If there is disagreement, there's an opportunity to model forgiveness (as well as apologizing/asking for forgiveness) in front of the children as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say, though, that parents should provide a united front at all times in the matter of establishing rules and consequences for children, and discuss differences of opinion in private. This helps to prevent the child playing one parent off against the other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to add&lt;/strong&gt; in response to a comment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used to have family conferences - including the kids - where we all contributed to the discussion and made joint decisions together - on what was and wasn't allowed, why (if this was a top-down decision) and appropriate consequences. The kids were often given new privileges this way, and when they broke the rules, they knew they had already agreed to their appropriateness before, so it cut down on the &quot;no fair!!!&quot; aspect. This to me is more about decision making within a family (which does involve some disagreement), but not what I would categorize as parents disagreeing in front of the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T20:26:55.693" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T20:26:55.693" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-15T07:04:13.373" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Disagreements are perfectly fine. Moreover, I believe that, as children grow, they should be able to influence some parents' decisions. Partly by disagreeing with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two things to consider: how to disagree and about what can the child disagree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Making decisions together, discussing things, allowing a kid to try to convince us about something, to show his/hers point of view - these are all perfectly fine. &lt;strong&gt;Screaming at each other, throwing stuff, violence - these are unacceptable&lt;/strong&gt;. So as long as you keep it &lt;em&gt;civilised&lt;/em&gt;, it is ok. &lt;strong&gt;Your kids also have to know and understand that the final decision is yours&lt;/strong&gt;. You can help them accept that fact by a) being consistent about the things you disallow and b) letting your kids &quot;win&quot; sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, &lt;strong&gt;there are some things which should not be arguable&lt;/strong&gt;. Anything violating anyone else's rights, property, breaking any law is unacceptable. Your kids will learn which laws can be bent on their own, you should never reinforce the notion yourself, even (or especially!) by crossing a street on a red light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2015-12-15T11:47:00.793" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T11:47:00.793" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23348" CreationDate="2015-12-15T11:13:21.743" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Put limits around the Nabi&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's good to start early with limiting technology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me be clear here: I'm a great proponent of technology for children - my career and hobbies are both heavily technology dependent and I wouldn't be where I am in life without the computers lying around the house when I was a child... however, there must be limits. As much as anything else, the blue light from the screen will play havoc with your child's sleeping pattern, and the &quot;active&quot; videos don't encourage settling into bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along with the light issue, there's also the obvious point that watching videos (while not intrinsically a bad thing) doesn't encourage reading: reading is vital to comprehension, writing, and analytical skills later in life, and should be encouraged wherever possible. Similarly the social aspect is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such I suggest limiting the Nabi: eg it can be used from &lt;em&gt;some time of your choosing&lt;/em&gt; until &lt;em&gt;2/3 hours before bedtime&lt;/em&gt; for example... or can be used for 1 hour after each meal, if she's well behaved during the meal. Whatever you feel works well for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;However&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An important note, though, is that during this process you should &lt;strong&gt;separate taking away the Nabi, from the return to reading&lt;/strong&gt;. Whatever you do, &lt;strong&gt;do not&lt;/strong&gt; associate &lt;em&gt;&quot;You have to come off the Nabi so we can read&quot;&lt;/em&gt; as a concept: you don't want your child to see reading as a punishment taking her away from what she wants to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead limit the Nabi for a few weeks, then re-introduce reading once she's stopped wanting the tablet at bedtime (there will be some resistance, 3 year olds are stubborn as I'm sure you're aware! Wait until that resistance subsides). Allow them to be separate events.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11317" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T11:13:21.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-15T11:14:31.647" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would go further and not just say that it's &lt;em&gt;okay&lt;/em&gt; to disagree when children are able to hear their parents, but &lt;em&gt;necessary&lt;/em&gt;. Children need to learn how people can respectfully disagree with each other and come to a conclusion that is acceptable for both parties. Who could be a better role model for that then their own parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, this is for &lt;em&gt;respectful disagreement&lt;/em&gt;, so the usual rules for respectful discourse apply:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no yelling &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no personal attacks &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no violence &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At one point, children also need to start feeling that they also get to have an opinion and a voice and how they can voice that disagreement with their parents. And, yes, at one point kids will understand that parents aren't always right. That's also normal and healthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your comment you say that it &quot;can be educative for a 15 year old&quot; - to me, that age seems way too high. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others before me have said, certain topics should not be discussed in front of the children. What was discussed in the original post, which was basically an issue about the mental health situation of one parent, is one of those discussion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But a normal disagreement about what to do on the weekend, whose turn it is to do the dishes (thus realizing that these are things that need to be discussed and agreed on) is nothing to avoid. In addition to that, any way to avoid them is just going to be really obvious to a child - if you move to another room to argue, your kids will notice, believe me. Likewise, they'll notice if a parent carries resentment because they were overruled without having voiced their opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-15T11:24:29.997" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T11:24:29.997" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23296" CreationDate="2015-12-15T12:30:52.477" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good answer from @Stephie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your wife has &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad/index.shtml&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Generalized Anxiety Disorder&lt;/a&gt;.  It also sounds like you both don't realise it, or realise that her behaviour isn't normal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Except that it is. &lt;strong&gt;Becoming a mother is almost universally anxiety-provoking.&lt;/strong&gt; The combination of motherhood and pre-existing anxiety is the most surprising - and common - parenting issue I've noticed since becoming a dad myself. It's unbelievably common among my friends, family and peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You didn't address this before the birth of your child. But&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;with all the fussing I sometimes cave in and simply desist from playing [w]ith my child&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it's now causing serious problems, because&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your wife would probably like to raise a happy, fearless child, who doesn't suffer as she has;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's making it impossible for you to co-parent. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also expect that you would like to be more involved with your child, and have a happier time together as a family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you could see this as an opportunity to explore and challenge this aspect of your wife's personality. You'll have to be strong. Some dads find this too hard, because their wife is &quot;in charge&quot; of all things baby-related and everyone is severely sleep-deprived. But your baby isn't in danger. Having friends with a baby with Cystic Fibrosis gives us some perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anxiety thrives on babies, tiredness and hormones. If you can be strong on this issue, and insist on exploring the issue via counselling for the anxiety, you could transform your relationship and your family's future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20194" LastEditorUserId="20194" LastEditDate="2016-01-27T11:53:04.857" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T11:53:04.857" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23384" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23385" CreationDate="2015-12-15T13:11:37.957" Score="3" ViewCount="1025" Body="&lt;p&gt;We normally dress our 5-month-old daughter with socks, especially when going out with the stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, it takes just few minutes until she starts rubbing her legs and feet until, eventually, the socks go out and she remains barefoot until we notice and put them back. And then the issue repeats over and over, you see the pattern : )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having tried putting them over the trousers, higher in the ankle, etc. we notice that not much improvement was gained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know it is more practical to dress her with some socks-included clothes. But since we do have some trousers that are not like this, we are wondering what would be a good way to make the socks stay at their place longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas other than using glue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-07T18:15:24.710" LastActivityDate="2018-11-07T18:15:24.710" Title="How to prevent an infant from taking off her socks?" Tags="|infant|clothes|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23384" CreationDate="2015-12-15T13:29:47.153" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had good luck using a product called Sock Ons (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sockons.co.uk/products/sockons/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.sockons.co.uk/products/sockons/&lt;/a&gt;).  They go over the sock and for our daughter at least did a great job keeping the sock in place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T13:29:47.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23386" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-15T14:29:22.043" Score="4" ViewCount="199" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 3 months old. She is breastfeeding for five minutes at a time.  If we try to feed her a while later then she is in a mood to play, does not want to feed, and she cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not drinking for more than five minutes and only drinking every three to four hours once I am feeding (as she is not ready to drink every hour) does not seem like enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel very depressed.  What can be done to encourage her to breastfeed for longer periods?  Before, she used to drink for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I'm not satisfied then I used to give her powdered milk in bottle once in a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20197" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T11:29:43.823" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T11:29:43.823" Title="Not drinking milk for longer time" Tags="|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23386" CreationDate="2015-12-15T17:12:37.640" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Three month old babies know how to drink better than newborns, who have less energy to suck, and are less practiced. It's entirely possible that your baby is getting all she needs if she's particularly skilled at nursing in this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might be overly curious about the world, causing her to get off the breast as soon as she's no longer hungry, but it this were the case, I would think she would nurse more frequently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's normal to be worried that your child isn't getting enough nutrition, but it's easy to demonstrate that she is, in fact, getting enough, and that's by calculating the progress of her weight gain. Obtain a growth chart from your doctor (or download the new &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/chts_wfa_girls_p/en/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;WHO chart for breastfed infants here&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/CPKf2.png&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/CPKf2.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll see that a dip is normal initially. These weights are charted &lt;em&gt;by weeks&lt;/em&gt; for the first 3 months, so please read carefully. What is important is that she stay near the percentile line she was born on. If she is crossing percentile lines down, that could indicate a problem which should be discussed with your doctor. If she's staying on/near the line, though, please reassure yourself that she is getting adequate nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T17:12:37.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23390" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23384" CreationDate="2015-12-15T22:54:47.920" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have to realize that she's only five months old.. They enjoy playing with things, including their own clothes. They'll take things apart, try and put them back together, move things around, take things off, etc. It's all a part of the psychological process of growing up. She'll grow out of it eventually. If not, I second @Dariusz with the duct tape. Although, Gaff Tape tends to hold much better. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20208" LastActivityDate="2015-12-15T22:54:47.920" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23384" CreationDate="2015-12-16T08:12:25.390" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could use &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/2a/53/2b/2a532bb16f0ca935153032b204ca1787.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;pre-walking shoes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; for when you go out doors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This type of shoes are flexible rather than provide a rigid support and are normally shaped like the child's foot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19769" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T08:12:25.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23260" CreationDate="2015-12-16T15:29:27.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the stump has a bad odour and a discharge then you may need to get it looked at by your public health nurse or paediatrician. It's important to keep it clean with cotton wool and cooled boiled water, do this at each nappy change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Caldesene powder was recommended to us for the same thing and it has worked. It was applied at each nappy change and completely dried out the area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20215" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T19:13:40.323" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T19:13:40.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18997" CreationDate="2015-12-16T15:56:41.483" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's unclear to me what you mean with &quot;to the point it is making her other friends uncomfortable&quot;, especially as your title talks about inappropriate behavior. However, a few general pointers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure your daughter knows about sex, protection against pregnancy and protection against sexuality transmitted diseases. This might include helping her find a doctor to prescribe birth control, for example. Or letting her order condoms to be shipped to her. From your question, you don't seem to be completely opposed to her having sex at this age, as long as she is mature about it. Looks like you have a good communication basis there, keep it open :-)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure your daughter knows about laws regarding sex in your area. Where I am, sex between two 14 year olds is legal, it might be not be where you are, and this is especially important to know if one of the partners is older than the other. In some jurisdictions, there are laws that define sex between partners that are underage and have an age difference of two or more years as statuary rape &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make it clear to hear what your expectations are in regards to what can happen in your house. Are you okay with him sleeping over? Do you require them to leave the door open when they are in her room? Do you want her to only see him after a certain time on weekends so as to not interfere with schoolwork? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You might want to mention to her that physical display of affection in public is not always appropriate - if it made a friend uncomfortable, I am however of the opinion that this friend can voice that themselves. If it makes you uncomfortable, you need to voice that, though in that case it would be helpful for them to have some privacy where they &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; express these needs (in her room, for example)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she also spend time with other friends without her boyfriend? I believe that it is always important for people to have some kind of hobbies outside of a partnership. However, as you are her parent, this might be difficult to raise without being seen as nagging or somehow disapproving of her partner. Encourage activities other than &quot;hanging out with my boyfriend&quot; if you can, keeping in mind that this is now also a part of her life. If her friends are getting concerned and &lt;em&gt;you are being aware of that&lt;/em&gt;, that's a sign that this is getting an issue. Depending on your relationship with your daughter, maybe you can plan some activities that only involve her and her friends. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T16:03:08.197" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T16:03:08.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23395" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2015-12-16T16:08:55.897" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="-1" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T16:08:55.897" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T16:08:55.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23396" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2015-12-16T16:08:55.897" Score="0" Body="Questions about the autism spectrum disorders, for example Aspberger's Syndrome or autism. Applicable both for questions about parenting children with autism spectrum disorders, and also parenting with such a diagnosis. " OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T23:53:51.307" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T23:53:51.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23397" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23405" CreationDate="2015-12-16T16:47:17.390" Score="8" ViewCount="367" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to straight up state that the scenario in this question is a hypothetical one. That doesn't mean this question or concepts explored in answers will never help anyone, and I have cleared this with a mod. I'll be happy to answer questions and refine the scenario.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I have been contemplating how parents/caregivers should deal with giving children medical information that is not immediately relevant to their lives, but will be important for them later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the purpose of the question, we are talking about a hereditary medical condition the parents are not currently showing, but may have passed on to the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example of this is a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/genetics/brca-fact-sheet&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;woman knowing that she has a mutation raising the risk of breast or ovarian cancer by a factor of more than 3&lt;/a&gt;. A young daughter obviously does not need to know this at the age of 5, but by the age of 20, she should have been made aware of this (in my opinion - I am not going to demand answers to agree with me). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example is &lt;a href=&quot;http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/familial-adenomatous-polyposis&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;familial adenomatous polyposis&lt;/a&gt;, which greatly increases the risk of colon cancer, that may start appearing as early as the teenage years, though a &quot;more normal&quot; onset is in a person's thirties. With that, you'd want teenagers to be aware of possible symptoms. For a lot of other diseases, I'd imagine the situation is comparable if a parent does have it, but can control it with medication or the disease is in remission.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, this is something that needs more than one conversation. What are some good strategies to employ at what age to ensure a child gets the information they need, while not being overly alarming? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T22:42:15.107" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T22:42:15.107" Title="How and when to talk to children about diseases they might have?" Tags="|health|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23398" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23401" CreationDate="2015-12-16T20:23:45.740" Score="0" ViewCount="829" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7-week-old baby has a red pimply rash on her face and neck for the past week. It started out on the face, cheeks mainly, and now it is on the neck too. It does not cause any discomfort as far as I can tell. Any ideas as to what causes this? Is it heat or milk? I live in a cold climate. And is there anything I can do to treat it or should I leave it alone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20215" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-29T12:32:10.060" LastActivityDate="2018-08-29T12:32:10.060" Title="What can I do to help a red pimply rash on a newborn baby?" Tags="|newborn|health|skin-care|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2015-12-24T19:36:46.637" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-16T20:35:47.760" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would go so far as to say that children seeing their parents (or adults of any sort) disagree, but come away amicably, is an excellent thing for growth and understanding.  Especially in today's culture where everyone is on eggshells so as not to offend anyone or &quot;be different&quot;.  It's important for kids to understand that people don't always agree, even people who love one another, and that it's ok to disagree, argue, discuss, and find middle ground - and that sometimes middle ground cannot be found and that that is ok as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20218" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T20:35:47.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23398" CreationDate="2015-12-16T20:38:26.710" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are many possible causes.  At that age, it can't hurt to talk to your pediatrician.  Obviously cortisone creams and other typical anti-rash agents aren't always a good idea for newborns (or babies younger than three).  Based on the health of your baby, environment, diet, et cetera, different treatments may be more or less effective (and safe).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's only been a day or so, I wouldn't worry much about it.  If it lasts longer than 2-3 days, or if it seems to be painful or itchy or otherwise bothering your baby, I'd point you to the pediatrician again.  :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20218" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T20:38:26.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-16T20:43:03.750" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, my kids grew up with disagreements being discussed at the table.  Understand that by this I mean 'differences of opinion or conclusions on a particular topic'.  Now that they are grown, they tell me this was a valuable part of their educations...both for process and content.  NOT to be confused with parents having a serious conflict (particularly as regards the children,) which I regard as a definite error...it does tend to lead the little darlings to believe that they can play one parent against the other, and that is NO way to go.  Certainly those disagreements will happen, but they need to be handled privately by the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20219" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T20:43:03.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23398" CreationDate="2015-12-16T21:11:15.470" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;No one can diagnose your baby over the internet, especially when no details are given (is the baby sick? Do you live in a hot climate? How long has the rash been there? Is it spreading? Does it seem to be causing any discomfort? Etc., etc.) There are many questions to ask, and a physical exam to perform, to answer this kind of query.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rashes in newborns are quite common, maybe the most common being &lt;em&gt;acne neonatorum&lt;/em&gt; (newborn acne, caused by mother's high hormone levels transferred to newborn in utero) and *Milia/miliaria * (plugged up sweat and sebaceous glands that appear as pale little bumps on the nose, etc.) Those are usually present at or shortly after birth. Common red rashes appearing later are heat rash, diaper rash and others. I've not heard of rashes attributable to milk (breast? Formula? Spilling onto baby's skin?) in babies of this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heat rash looks like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/VIyC2.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/VIyC2.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kind of scary looking to me, but very common. It should respond to decreasing sweating: lighter, dry, breathable clothing, decreased contact against bare skin (if that's how you feed him) and plastic if it's warm where you are, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Sears (who I greatly admire) discusses other common rashes in children &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/skin-care/rashes&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;on his website&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first question &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; to ask yourself is, &lt;em&gt;does the baby seem to be at all sick?&lt;/em&gt; This could mean crying more than usual, waking frequently at night, being off feeding, being feverish, acting irritable, having a runny nose/coughing/anything that would cause a parent concern. If the answer is yes, take him to the doctor. That is always the safest bet, and that is what the doctor is there for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, reading the Dr. Sears page and the references (with pictures) might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/0101/p47.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Newborn Skin: Part I. Common Rashes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.adhb.govt.nz/newborn/TeachingResources/Dermatology/BenignLesions.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Neonatal deramtology: benign lesions&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-16T21:17:32.447" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T21:17:32.447" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21760" CreationDate="2015-12-16T21:37:13.543" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The original poster has reason to be worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a native speaker of English.  My slightly younger sister is also a native speaker of English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My third-grade class was bilingual Spanish-English.  The school made sure to provide English and Math instruction that matched my abilities.  I did fine.  Later on, when I did study Spanish, I best learned the concepts that had been taught in the bilingual class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister's second-grade class was bilingual Spanish-English.  She was lost during much of the instruction, and had no way to get the English-language help she needed.  She developed a fear of math.  She did not make as much progress in English, history, or science as she would have in an English-language classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13504" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T21:37:13.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23397" CreationDate="2015-12-16T22:25:21.217" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll share what my parents did with me and my siblings because it was effective for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, we never had a &quot;come sit down, we are going to talk about this&quot; type conversation.  It mostly came up organically.  For example, we have some eye problems in my family.  So my parents took us to eye doctors as a matter of course.  And during those visits, my mom wasn't shy about making sure the doctors knew that those things were possibilities for us.  And that usually led to questions later about what those things were and why she was worried about them.  Then she would explain to us what those things were and why we should be aware of them.  She never impressed upon us that we should be &lt;em&gt;fearful&lt;/em&gt;, just &lt;em&gt;aware&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, these things also came up as we visited with grandparents and such.  Children tend to be inquisitive and I was no different.  When I would see my grandparents dealing with something (or my parents would tell me that grandma had to go to the hospital for such-and-such), it prompted questions.  My parents were good about providing answers to my questions without inundating me with information and worry.  The tone was empathetic, understanding and matter-of-fact.  This made those things feel like unfortunate things that should cause us to have love and understanding towards that person.  But they also showed us that it was something that could be dealt with, managed and handled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, my parents always showed us that they were supportive of us.  That even if one of us had one of these diseases or conditions, that they would do everything in their power to help us and make it as much of a non-issue as possible.  And of we have had to deal with some of those things.  And they were true to their word.  They loved us and helped us thru our problems, no matter when we needed it.  Knowing that I had that support network in my family has been fantastic because no matter what I have to deal with, I know they will help me.  And because of that I don't have to worry about how to deal with it myself.  Or who I could talk to.  Or a ton of other things.  In short, I can worry less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, my parents always showed us that we could overcome any of those things.  Genetic diseases have a tendency to impose limitations on us in terms of what we can do.  Allergies can limit what we can eat or the medicines we can take.  Other diseases can restrict the physical things we can do.  My parents made it crystal clear to us when we had to deal with one of those things what those limitations were and how serious it was to respect those limits.  But beyond that, they helped us learn how to get around those limits and live normal lives.  Sure, there are certain things I just plain can't or shouldn't do.  But everything else is free game.  And I don't need to let any of those things stop me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, teach kids that they are strong.  Anyone who has to deal with something like what you described has a choice to make.  Either they can sit down and feel sorry for themselves or they can live life.  Those diseases may mean that doing certain activities may need extra planning, preparation, effort or even creative solutions.  Teach them that life is worth living.  Show them all the good things that you love and share your passions with them.  Make sure they have their own passions.  Instill in them that those diseases don't define them.  They are part of their lives, sure.  But they don't have to control their lives or change who they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if they don't end up having one of those diseases, you will have raised a strong, passionate, loving child who can help others and has a strong support network in place for any kind of problem.  They won't worry about things because they know that they can handle it, possibly with help from those around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL/DR&lt;/strong&gt;: Don't avoid the topic.  It will come up as you go to doctors and they see grandparents or whoever dealing with things.  Explain to them things to be aware of and how serious those things are.  Love them and support them so they don't have to worry.  Raise them so they know that those things shouldn't stop them from living and that they can handle whatever life throws at them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2015-12-16T22:25:21.217" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19158" CreationDate="2015-12-17T02:55:34.207" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A great lesson I heard my dad give was: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Home is where the kind of self-discipline that is remembered, is taught&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A great lesson I heard from a pastor was: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Never hit your children in anger, it is never spanking or discipline&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And my honest perspective is: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Discipline is only as effective as the patient self-discipline of the parent; everything takes time to learn&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16091" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:04:07.387" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:04:07.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23407" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23408" CreationDate="2015-12-17T03:26:19.107" Score="9" ViewCount="995" Body="&lt;p&gt;In about 2 months we will be going on a trip which involves a 5 hour flight. Our 2-year-old is typically &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; active and I'm really worried that he will have a hard time on the flight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some good techniques for making sure he stays happy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20138" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-25T12:40:20.973" LastActivityDate="2019-04-25T12:40:20.973" Title="How to entertain a 2-year-old on an airplane?" Tags="|toddler|flying|entertainment|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23407" CreationDate="2015-12-17T04:45:54.917" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've actually had to deal with virtually this exact situation a few times over the past year or so. We're in California, my family is in DC (5 hour flight). My son is almost 3, my daughter is 1.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with all things in dealing with small children, it's really a &lt;em&gt;game of distractions&lt;/em&gt;. So the best way to prepare is to be well equipped with a full arsenal of distractions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Old (familiar) toys&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;New toys (keep them hidden)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Snacks&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stuffed animals (only one or two)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the greatest tips that was given to us is &lt;strong&gt;new toys&lt;/strong&gt;... These will generally be your secret weapon. When you anticipate your child growing bored, break out a new toy for him to play with. I'm going to assume that you are familiar with your son's tastes, so with any luck he'll be entranced with his new toy for 30-60 minutes (or more, if you're lucky). Try to avoid giving him a toy during a tantrum, or you could be inadvertently rewarding bad behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's some toys that were great for my son...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/XeLyy.png&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/XeLyy.png&quot; alt=&quot;Toy taxi&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Toy taxi.&lt;/strong&gt; Although, really any vehicle will do. On another trip, we gave him a toy mail truck... he still plays with it at home!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/v83U2.png&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/v83U2.png&quot; alt=&quot;Magnetic Tin&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Magnetic Tin.&lt;/strong&gt; It's a metal tin, about the size of a book, and opens up to reveal a landscape background image. It comes with a bunch of magnetic vehicles, people, props, etc. There are tons of them out there, with different themes (farm, city, dinosaurs, etc)... This one was a huge hit with our son!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yaWAg.png&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yaWAg.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Water Wow! &quot;paint&quot; book.&lt;/strong&gt; This thing is brilliant. There is no actual paint, you just fill the brush with water. Every picture is a thin white surface overlaying a full-color picture... When the kid gets the page wet, the white becomes transparent, giving the feeling of &quot;painting&quot;. We've got plenty of Melissa &amp;amp; Doug toys, but this is probably my favorite (um, I mean &lt;em&gt;my son's&lt;/em&gt; favorite).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, make sure to keep these new toys hidden until the moment is right! And only leak them out one at a time... You'll want to milk each of these distractions for as long as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, and enjoy your trip!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14240" LastEditorUserId="14240" LastEditDate="2015-12-17T04:52:20.850" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T04:52:20.850" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-17T11:13:04.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Answering my own question feels weird, but I have been asked to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of cultural context at play. I have been living in China for more than 10 years, and working in a Chinese company where I am the only foreigner. In this company, I have seen only twice an explicit disagreement. In this country, it is very unusual to see children openly disagree with their parents. Obviously it do not mean people always agree or do not have feelings or desires or opinions. But, the Chinese have a long experience in living together and have gained from this experience that openly disagreeing is doing more harm than good. Obviously in some more traditional societies of Eastern Asia, it can and does go way too far, e.g. in Japan.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, with this in mind, when I go back to my country (France), or watch movie, TV, listen to radio, I am surprised at the amount of open disagreement and arguing I see or hear. It is almost as if agreeing or having no strong opinions on a given topic would be seen as a lack of personality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, on the other sides, I see that the people I admire are actually very capable to listen, agree, take the other's opinion in account. This is mostly because they have a strong personality, therefore have no fear of appearing to be weak in the eyes of others, and then do not mind agreeing, or more precisely, allow themselves to express their position only when it is worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now to the kids. From what I see in cartoons, comics, everything for kids produced in the West, is that we try to build their ego by teaching them to express their desire strongly, asking them for their choice all the time, and so on. Here some people mentioned &quot;family concils&quot;. But I maintain that either the choice is unimportant (like which kind of marmelade we buy) or too important to be &quot;discussed&quot; with kids: their opinion on the matter will not change anything anyway. An example of the second case could be &quot;do we move to another country?&quot; What do you want a kid to meaningfully &quot;decide&quot; or &quot;contribute&quot; about such a choice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, for unimportant choices I think the best is to not discuss in front of the kids, by fear to influence them in being picky. For important choices, it is unfair to let kids believe they have a voice in the discussion, because they don't, or shouldn't (a kid will not want to move to another country, and will be the fastest to adapt and the happiest once there, essentially kids do not know what's good for them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am pushing a bit too far, probably. But I feel it is more fair and saner, and also make kids happier. (Just one more example: we never say we do not like a dish in front of the kids, even when it is disgusting. Result is our kids kind of likeeverything.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T11:13:04.250" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-17T11:15:59.333" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Conflict is a part of life. Your children are basically sponges that absorb enrything you see and do. Showing them how to have conflict, that conflict is healthy, and how to properly resolve conflict is critical to their future health and well-being. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its natural to not want to fight with someone you love. Conflict is unpleasant. But the only way to the other side of it is &lt;em&gt;through&lt;/em&gt;, not around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The larger disservice that can be done to the kid is to teach them that life should be conflict free, or that conflict is something to be ashamed of, or that we shouldn't try to make amends after we make mistakes. Regardless of how you proceed always remember that your kid is learning from &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; you are saying and doing and ask yourself, &quot;Is this how I would like to teach my child how to deal with this situation?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/strong&gt; This advice is assumed for a household that is a safe environment. If there is any question of safety of either parent or the children, seek professional help - and do so quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20229" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T11:15:59.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23412" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2802" CreationDate="2015-12-17T15:14:06.170" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This situation sounds as if she is not actively playing with the toy, but was just the first to get it. Kid do exchange/swap in this manner without any issues: She seems to have socially mature for her age and have nice manners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has her toys taken away when she is engaged with playing with them, she might react differently!  She is also surely aware that the other children, though slower, might have found &quot;better&quot; toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To the concern of standing up for herself, in this teacher-moderated setting, you might want to encourage her to say, loudly, &quot;Stop!&quot;  That can alert the teacher to chat with the grabby child. It is the greedy grabber who needs a little help, not your polite and outgoing daughter. Kids mature at different rates, and she might be a bit ahead of her classmates. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20233" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T15:14:06.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-17T16:08:16.280" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Resolving conflict in front of your children is absolutely critical to their social development. Parents who do not argue in front of their children end up with children who do not know how to express themselves in socially acceptable ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a related note, letting your children express their views on issues is critically important to developing their sense of purpose and ambition.  Children who are not given a say in decisions, do not learn how to plan and manage their lives. Even if the child has no influence on the decision you make, hearing their opinion encourages them to practice problem solving skills on a regular basis. Luck is just recognizing an opportunity that you are prepared to leverage. That skill is all about evaluating options, even when you don't think you control the decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20234" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2015-12-17T18:06:53.760" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T18:06:53.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23377" CreationDate="2015-12-17T18:14:21.247" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its imperative that parents NOT disagree too much in front of children, it can harm them for life.  So parents who dont &quot;care&quot; are the ones who need to get educated on a few things.  Children are in a kind of imagination-first world, little kids are still in a kind of cartoon-world and see things as they observe them.  You do not know as a parent what they imagine when they hear disagreement, so parents must learn to do this in the right way, with compassion and love and fairness.  You may disagree with your spouse, but you oppose your own child when you take sides against their (mother) or (father).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing, as we get older, biologically we change and get more irritable and less patient you must intellectually keep that in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Arguments should be done by parents going somewhere else, showing the children they have a safe and thriving home and they are unconditionally loved;  show that there is disagreement but do the same you'd want when siblings fight and get angry, step back, be fair, cool off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;having parents argue in front of children can train the child to be dysfunctional in marriage and in life, let alone be emotionally scarred.  Not very fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20237" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T18:14:21.247" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8486" CreationDate="2015-12-17T22:13:57.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the heat treatments you can also use chemicals. Over here in the UK the main one is &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milton_sterilizing_fluid&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Milton's Fluid&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, which is just sodium hypochorite solution. In essence its food-grade bleach (and if you get it on your clothes, it will instantly bleach them). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be worried about &quot;chemicals&quot;: sodium hypochlorite is a close relative of sodium chloride, otherwise known as table salt, and low concentrations of sodium hypochlorite are often used for disinfection of drinking water. A few remaining droplets in the bottle when the milk is put in are not going to hurt anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-12-17T22:13:57.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23417" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-18T03:30:34.923" Score="3" ViewCount="3423" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old boy is having sleeping problems. He was always a late sleeper falling asleep around 9:00, but for the last couple of months he has so much energy at bedtime, running around, shouting and constantly doing something late at night. He's attached to watching cartoons. We have tried to switch the tV off and put him to bed but that doesn't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are getting really frustrated now as he's usual sleeping time now is around 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried everything we can, and it just makes it worse as when he's crying for longer he tends to throw up. So before we try doctors or some medicine and oil I would like some advice on what's better for him when it comes to oils or tablets or some tricks on what to try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20244" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-23T12:08:40.133" LastActivityDate="2019-07-23T12:09:42.040" Title="How to make my 3-year-old go to sleep earlier?" Tags="|pre-schooler|bedtime|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23418" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-18T09:23:52.027" Score="1" ViewCount="155" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a one-year-old daughter. She takes only milk and denies taking solids or other things. When I usually keep trying to give her some solids, she immediately throws them away or spits them from her mouth. What can I do for her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20247" LastEditorUserId="13586" LastEditDate="2015-12-18T10:25:19.397" LastActivityDate="2015-12-18T22:43:04.693" Title="My daughter does not take solid food. She is one year old" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23418" CreationDate="2015-12-18T12:29:22.273" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming that her growth (size &amp;amp; weight) are normal for her age. If that's not the case, please go and contact your doctor / go to the hospital!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you see is a normal reflex (assuming the above) and that's nothing to worry about. New food has a different taste than milk and that takes time to get used to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regards to the practical side of introducing solid food, we decided to follow the method of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rapleyweaning.com/index.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Rapley&lt;/a&gt; (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.borstvoeding.com/medewerkers/stefan-kleintjes.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Kleintjes&lt;/a&gt; is a related method, but that link is only in Dutch). &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rapleyweaning.com/assets/blw_guidelines.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; are some quick pointers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short: each time we prepare food, we keep some food aside for her. This is cooked or steamed and has no seasoning on them. When we start eating, we give her her own plate and then we just let her discover the food (shape, taste &amp;amp; how it feels when it's crushed in her mighty fists). Be aware that it can be very messy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19769" LastEditorUserId="20258" LastEditDate="2015-12-18T22:43:04.693" LastActivityDate="2015-12-18T22:43:04.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23420" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-18T13:24:40.113" Score="11" ViewCount="438" Body="&lt;p&gt;My GF has two kids, she lives in a big suburb, a little bit out of nowhere in the country side and I used to live in a global city. I moved to get closer to her, hence now I'm living with her and the two kids. W've been together for almost a year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Day to day is ok, I have a job , I'm doing my fair share of the chores.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I miss the city and sometimes, I'm rambling about it. Relationship with the kids are fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where the issue lies is the kids are often around us, their dad is here not often because of his work schedule (air flight attendant).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other things that bugged me a lot is that my GF has a view to what I consider too protective of her kids, not letting them resolve their issue (14 &amp;amp; 11 years old respectively) by themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of these two things , we are bickering although not intensively but we are bickering. I feel I'm not understood and I don't have my place with her and the kids and she feels like I'm a loner , because I was single for a long time before meeting her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought about having some activities with the kid. I run and the boy goes with me, on his cycle. With the girl , I'm clueless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What kind of activities would connect me with a young girl and what kind of global activity would help us , in trying to make us like a &quot;family&quot;, which we are clearly not at the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20047" LastEditorUserId="20047" LastEditDate="2016-01-20T10:49:11.820" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T10:49:11.820" Title="How do I join a well established community (a family with my GF and her two kids actually)?" Tags="|extended-family|transition|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23164" CreationDate="2015-12-18T18:12:42.440" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmm. It seems you've got a definite change, at a fairly well-defined point in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;There have been no changes at home, other than I started working full-time in June, but that coincided with her starting kinder, so she wouldn't be home anyway.&quot;   Ah, but SHE wouldn't know that. From her point of view, that &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; mean that you weren't there (even if in the background,) and available.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't minimize your concerns, but to some extent it sounds like the &quot;I sent this perfectly lovely little kid to school. Who is this screaming maniac I got back?&quot; (And my total sympathies; I had two ADHD kids.) This would lead me to suspect some influences at school (beyond the usual &quot;I'm a BIG kid now!&quot;) Do you have any contact with other classroom parents? That might help you to track down any social factors--bullying comes to mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as what to do when she throws a tantrum in public---leave. Immediately. Do not tolerate that, even a little bit.  If you're in the middle of grocery shopping or something, it will probably be a massive inconvenience for you, but in my experience, it's the shortest path to the kid learning that actions have consequences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that you're correct; it's a power struggle. If the child is to have any sense of security, you have to win that struggle.  The most insecure &amp;amp; miserable kids I ever met were those who had become the 'rulers' of their families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck to you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20219" LastActivityDate="2015-12-18T18:12:42.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23418" CreationDate="2015-12-18T19:30:30.420" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as your daughter is healthy, this might be part of her learning about food. Babies love reactions from adults, they love to feel foods go in and out of their mouths, and they may enjoy messes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my baby (who is now a very healthy 5 year old) refused to eat any baby food I bought when he weaned. I sniffed it and most of it did smell unpleasant, to the point where I did not want to taste it myself! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course he needed to eat. So, a bit desperate, I bought vegetables and steamed them, then blended them up and froze them. I thawed them for his meals. My pediatrician recommended I add tons of butter in the steamed vegetables, because my baby was very skinny during this picky period, but of course ask yours what is healthy for your baby. Baby also drank tons of cow milk for this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20233" LastActivityDate="2015-12-18T19:30:30.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23423" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23427" CreationDate="2015-12-18T20:13:12.013" Score="14" ViewCount="3882" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nice of 9 months is crying to fight sleep. Why does she do that? How can one calm her down? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's absolutely silly to watch :). She sits there and everything is all right. As soon as she falls over cause the sleep is overwhelming she starts fervently to cry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20257" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-28T17:31:31.483" LastActivityDate="2019-09-10T11:10:59.257" Title="Why do babies fight sleep and how to calm them down?" Tags="|behavior|infant|crying|bedtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23424" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-18T20:22:34.187" Score="2" ViewCount="118" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crib bumpers are widely advertised, and sometimes sold with cribs.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any risks to their use?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-19T19:45:39.320" Title="Are there any risks to using crib bumpers?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7137" CreationDate="2015-12-18T20:42:51.120" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting question.  Just some more anecdotal answers for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter, now 4, walked at around 16 months, and was speaking just shortly afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my son, 23 months, walked at 10 months and was walking a soccer-ball across a room and back on the eve of his 1st birthday.  But he only says no(or nope for fun), clearly.  It is interesting how complex a conversation you can have with this little guy and he understands, but only verbally responds with &quot;nope&quot; and a smile.  He does shout &quot;da&quot; for me, an &quot;ah&quot; for his sister (ah has absolutely no correlation with her name, by the way).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We taught both our kids sign-language (just for fun) and my son uses it nearly exclusively, and my daughter when she rather not speak.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are not worried, remotely, since kids are products of their environment; and we've realized that the shade of the moon through the clouds on Wednesdays is more predictable than child developmental milestone timing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16091" LastActivityDate="2015-12-18T20:42:51.120" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23426" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23424" CreationDate="2015-12-18T22:02:30.217" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The APP says no crib bumpers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2011/10/12/peds.2011-2284.full.pdf+html&quot;&gt;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2011/10/12/peds.2011-2284.full.pdf+html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See page 1034&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Because there is no evidence that bumper pads or similar products that&#xA;  attach to crib slats or sides prevent injury in young infants and&#xA;  because there is the potential for suffocation, entrapment, and&#xA;  strangulation, these products are not recommended&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2015-12-18T22:02:30.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23423" CreationDate="2015-12-18T22:11:33.113" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an interesting article on the topic: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.secretsofbabybehavior.com/2010/05/why-do-some-babies-hate-being-drowsy.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.secretsofbabybehavior.com/2010/05/why-do-some-babies-hate-being-drowsy.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article has this to say on why some babies hate being drowsy:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-The Drowsy State:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies move in and out of 6 different &amp;quot;states&amp;quot; or moods: crying, irritable, quiet alert, drowsy, active sleep, and quiet sleep. You can tell what &amp;quot;state&amp;quot; a baby is in by the way she moves, breathes, and the noises she makes. I'm sure you all know that babies become drowsy when they are tired. Tiny babies tire very quickly, especially when they've had to deal with a lot of stimulation. Drowsy babies will stop paying attention to things around them, open and close their eyes, yawn, breathe faster then slower, and rub their faces with their hands. Some babies, especially younger babies, also get cranky, fussy, and increasingly frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Why Some Drowsy Babies Get so Irritable&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies are hardwired to learn and socialize with the adults who care for them. They stare at their parents' faces, watch their mouths, try to copy their movements, and often calm down when they hear mommy's or daddy's voice. As babies get older, they become fascinated by every new object they see and try to touch, taste, drop, and explore everything in their reach. Babies work hard as little scientists, experimenting day and night to determine cause and effect. They love to play repetitive games and will giggle with excitement when they &amp;quot;discover&amp;quot; how to make their daddies' tickle their tummies or to elicit their mommies' smiles. Anything that gets in the way of that work may irritate babies. Unfortunately, babies can't maintain that learning state forever. They'll start to get sleepy, even though their brains and bodies will push them to learn more and more. For some very social and determined babies, sleepiness is so annoying, they'll start to cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Why Some Babies Fight Sleep&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some babies have a much harder time than others in changing their states, particularly calming themselves and getting to sleep. Fortunately, as babies get older, they get better at these important skills. However, all babies (even babies who regularly fall asleep easily), may struggle with sleep when they have been overstimulated or exposed to a stimulant like caffeine. Babies who are overstimulated (by vigorous play near nap or bed time, big changes in routine, or spending time in a crowd) have a hard time dealing with all the excitement. Their bodies react by releasing chemicals that stimulate their brains. Some babies will process these chemicals quickly, but others will not. Adults may have the same experience after watching a scary movie or attending a large party. In those circumstances, we can't fall asleep either. Some babies (and I had one) want the social time to last forever and fuss and cry and fight sleep with all their might.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A clear routine can help your baby settle down. It may take some time figuring out what works for you, every child is different after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the same article&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5 Quick Tips for Dealing with Babies Who Hate Being Drowsy&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Prevent over stimulation or any prolonged stimulation, particularly at bed time and nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Avoid exposing your baby to stimulants like caffeine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To calm your drowsy baby, maintain social play but slow the pace, gradually narrowing the type and duration of stimulation your baby receives. Limit what your baby sees, hears, and touches. Try slowly narrowing your interaction to include only one sense. Let her look quietly at your face OR hear your voice as she nestles into your shoulder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start a bedtime routine with a slow steady reduction in stimulation. Many experts suggest 45 minutes may be needed for a baby who struggles with getting to sleep. Don't worry, this won't last forever!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try sustained stimulation, like white noise and steady motion, to help soothe babies who are fighting their need to sleep.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20258" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-12-20T23:52:24.710" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7616" CreationDate="2015-12-19T18:50:30.003" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, it helps that a person will avoid awkwards and potentially embarrassing situations such as visibly trying to or having trouble adding or subtracting in a daily experiences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they have math under the knee (they know it hundred percent) they won't feel uncomfortable or worse, going around with a feeling of inferiority. Every time they do need to do math, their minds freezes, because they think they don't know it, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20212" LastEditorUserId="20212" LastEditDate="2015-12-21T05:16:54.570" LastActivityDate="2015-12-21T05:16:54.570" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23424" CreationDate="2015-12-19T19:45:39.320" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The main risk comes from suffocation of the child.  This &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/303085.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;form of death is increasing.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;a new study reveals that the number of infant deaths and injuries resulting from crib bumpers has significantly increased in recent years. And researchers are warning parents that they should never, ever be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some US states &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/303085.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;have banned crib bumpers&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In 2013, the state of Maryland banned their sale, led by the city of Chicago, which first did in 2011.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the child is older there's perhaps some risk that they climb on the crib bumper, which means they could fall out of the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crib bumpers were originally introduced to protect children from wide gaps in-between crib bars.  Those wide gaps no longer exist, and so there is no reason to continue using crib bumpers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-19T19:45:39.320" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2015-12-19T21:09:13.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little daughter also buries her face either in the pillow or my chest and rubs vigorously even when asleep, to the point of waking herself up. Swaddling helps but restricting her also seems to wake her up as she tries to fight to free her hands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Paediatrics is part of my course and I picked up that she had acid reflux when she was about 2 months old. Symptoms being: spitting up, pulling her face when burping, crying after a burp and not wanting to eat as much.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;After some research, I found a correlation between the silent reflux and face rubbing. I think any parent  would pick up on face rubbing when tired and vigorous face rubbing. I tried all the methods of soothing her e.g. holding upright for 30mins, making sure she burps even if it takes an hour, feeding her in an upright position, giving the pacifier right after feeding and also I got these natural drops called Iberogast from my paediatrician. I give her these drops just before a feed. All of this seemed to work. She's a smiling little 3 month old now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also has atopic eczema, so I make sure I put on her cream from her Paed once a day. I never changed detergent etc as this cream helped her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also don't forget about over stimulating baby. Reflux / fussy babies get over stimulated quickly. Monitor the times she's awake and look for signs of tiredness / over stimulation. (Random hiccups not related to feeding, fussing, yawning, not willing to interact or not interested in toys). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soothing, in my opinion, doesn't last very long and they should eventually settle down without waking themselves up again to sooth. So just rule out all possible causes you suspect (in my case: reflux,thrush,eczema) and go with your instinct. Good luck to all! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20266" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2015-12-20T15:25:35.007" LastActivityDate="2015-12-20T15:25:35.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23436" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23440" CreationDate="2015-12-20T12:22:50.297" Score="4" ViewCount="2703" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby turned 2 years old just now. He is a very happy guy, running and jumping all day long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday I was told by an old guy, a kid should not jump too much, because their muscles and bones are not yet in shape. He said too many jumps hurt a kid. But I really do not want to restrict my baby from jumping and running...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this concern valid?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20270" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-23T12:06:07.050" LastActivityDate="2019-07-23T12:06:07.050" Title="Can too much jumping hurt a toddler's knees?" Tags="|toddler|health|sports|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23438" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24099" CreationDate="2015-12-20T18:45:51.637" Score="4" ViewCount="307" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children are 3 and 18 months, their siblings from another father are 6, 7 and 8. They have never met each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it better for them to meet now or to wait until they are teenagers or adults? My wife's ex is against any kind of contact between them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-20T20:25:02.643" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T19:59:50.943" Title="Is it better for siblings to meet at a young age?" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23436" CreationDate="2015-12-20T23:39:49.350" Score="6" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Can too much jumping hurt a toddler's knees? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, like too much of anything (even water) can hurt someone, too much jumping can hurt a toddler's knees, hips, and what not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An animal model of this phenomenon is appropriate here: exercise and hip disease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...Many breeders will advise against exercising a pup to prevent the development of orthopedic conditions. Nonetheless, veterinarians believe that gentle, low impact exercise can be beneficial for pups, but that &lt;strong&gt;all forced exercise beyond what a puppy would normally do should be avoided.&lt;/strong&gt; Veterinarians maintain that running should be avoided until a puppy is physically mature, and that puppies should stay away from high impact sports such as jumping and agility. Both of these activities are believed to be traumatic on a puppy's immature joints.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This really came to light in a big way when agility became a leading competitive sport for dogs. People started training their dogs at way too early an age. But please note that dogs don't jump hurdles repetitively at an early age for the sheer joy of it. Unless the dog has a breed-specific proneness to injury (such as Corgies), letting a puppy do whatever a puppy likes to do (they'll avoid what hurts) is just fine. It's when people come into the picture pushing inappropriate exercise onto them that puppies can become injured, sometimes for life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Likewise, a toddler doing what he loves to do safely (no open windows around, unguarded stairwells, no sticking objects small enough to choke him in his mouth, etc., etc.) will not sustain major or lifelong injury. A baby/toddler will stop doing something when he's had enough. If, however, you forced your son to jump off the last two steps of every stairway he encountered day after day, I'm pretty sure some lasting damage would be done. Few right-minded parents do this with toddlers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not to say kids don't overdo things that aren't so good for them physically. Certain baseball pitches in Little Leaguers caused permanent damage in Little Leaguers (adolescents) in the US a few decades back. Knee injuries among high-school (American) football players are common. But average toddlers usually aren't motivated to incur repetitive use syndromes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-12-20T23:39:49.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23441" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-21T00:01:52.310" Score="1" ViewCount="383" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2 year old son. He is our first child. Recently we've started noticing some weird behavior. Below are the behaviors we have observed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he is with me, sometimes he lifts my shirt and presses my nipples. He tries to do the same with his mom.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes he comes back to me/my wife and hugs and swings his lower part of his body.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He sucks cheeks and chin.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The above symptoms scare us and appear to us to be a kind of sexual behavior. How should we deal with this behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-21T01:48:30.307" LastActivityDate="2015-12-21T02:05:05.580" Title="Is this behavior (nipple pushing and other behaviors) a problem?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23441" CreationDate="2015-12-21T02:05:05.580" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nipples stick out (well, comparatively) as do ears, eyeglasses, ponytails, noses, moles, bandaids, etc. That makes them (by that very simple virtue) more interesting than the area surrounding them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son tried to smoosh your nose all the time, I don't think you'd think &quot;sexual???&quot; at all. It's unusual for a normal (meaning non-sexually-traumatized) preschooler to act out sexually. Please know this. (Also, I'm not suggesting that he's been abused. I'm suggesting that pushing on nipples when you have the chance is fun for a two-year-old.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How should we deal with this behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I want to re-emphasize it's not sexual, nor is it a particularly irritating behavior (in my opinion, anyway.) Deal with this behavior the same way you would deal with any innocent (but unwanted?) behavior. You could:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ignore it completely (your lack of a reaction might make it less fun for him.)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;gently but consistently say &quot;no&quot;, remove his hand, and cover your chest/ wipe your face&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;distract him with something more interesting (start telling him a story, or reach for a toy for him to poke; don't make it too obvious or he might associate pushing your nipples with a fun reward!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;give him other toys that squeak, or have eyes that bug out, or do other fun things when he pushes and prods them, and perhaps toys he can safely put in his mouth?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teach him to kiss instead of suck on your face&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2015-12-21T02:05:05.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23445" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6481" CreationDate="2015-12-21T03:28:32.070" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay I reread your story and you said you won't take away her big blanket because you live up north and it gets cold but you said that you are worried about her overheating that does not make since to me but may I suggest putting a small silent fan on a table next to her bed and as for the suffocating why not just use a ski mask if you don't have one find a blanket like the one she is using and cut a few small hole just for her nose and mouth, eyeholes would be completely unessasery if she's sleeping oh yeah and about my fan idea make it strong enough so she can feel it through her blanket but not strong enough so she has to grab another blanket you should by a fan you can plug into an outlet in her room and it would keep the whole room nice and cool but try to find a silent fan or one with a low buzz that could be slightly relaxing oh and why don't you sweeten the deal say you will give her a quarter if she does not wrap the blanket around her head all night a quarter will seem pretty good to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20277" LastActivityDate="2015-12-21T03:28:32.070" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23420" CreationDate="2015-12-22T18:10:38.333" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest a few things. First let go of the city life. As they say, if you want a family, then &quot;it is not about you anymore&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, be there. Be at home, be available to, say, drive the girl (or the boy) to places where they do stuff (gym, ballet, their friends' house, the mall, etc). Then, things will come at their time, be patient here as the girl is a teen. On day for example, you can stop by with her to get a burger on the way back home. Kids will open up after they feel some consistency in the relationship. This may mean sacrificing time with other friends such as going to a superbowl bbq.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, think of the girl as your daughter, and the boy as your son. You can start by mentioning her with a friend a coworker as such (example: &quot;This weekend I'll take my daughter to the mall&quot;). Say it aloud. You can always clarify later that she's step-daughter, as needed. Then some day you'll introduce her as your daughter, and if she says she is not, then just say that &quot;that is how I think of you&quot;. She may not care, but if you plan to stay with your GF, then make up on your mind that you're basically signing up too to be a dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17136" LastEditorUserId="17136" LastEditDate="2015-12-23T18:57:36.657" LastActivityDate="2015-12-23T18:57:36.657" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23450" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23420" CreationDate="2015-12-22T20:12:53.280" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mention 3 issues in your post:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Disagreement on parenting with your girl friend&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a lot of experience here, but treat it as a separate topic from everything else. Discuss your role in parenting your step-kids; explain why you feel you should have a voice. Once you agree to what extent you are involved in parenting, then you can agree on what type of rules and parenting you do. You can't just skip ahead to discussing 'how to parent' before you make your case for 'why you should parent'. You basically need to step from being 'mom's boyfriend' to 'step dad'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Activities with kids&lt;/em&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does the girl like? Does she like bikeriding too? Does she like going for walks? Going shopping? Learning to drive? Doing some homemade crafts or tinkering? Maybe you can chaperone at a concert (just stay back ;) ). Girls, like boys have a variety of things they like to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;City life&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is tough, but think about the things you gain moving to the suburbs. Running in the woods/quiet roads, maybe? Do some of those things. In addition, depending on how far away the city is, go there. Make a day out of it. Go shopping, go to a show (even a kid friendly one), go to a park in the city. Bring the family, or take a day alone - in fact doing something family friendly in a big city (like a Science Museeum, or a kids show, or a ball game) could make you feel more like a family :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-22T22:04:42.843" LastActivityDate="2015-12-22T22:04:42.843" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23452" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-23T03:21:00.007" Score="3" ViewCount="289" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6 year old daughter who has been taking piano lessons for a couple of years.  The school where she goes assumes that all their kids will go compete in a local competitive music festival, where each performer is judged and there are winners for the different categories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My thinking at the moment is that I don't want music to become a competitive thing (it can already be a source of stress at times getting her to practice--though usually it's not a big deal).  I'd like to keep music as just a fun thing to do.  That doesn't have to be exclusive of competition obviously, but making something competitive does change the nature of the activity, or at least our relationship with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I imagine that at different points in her life competitions will be either more or less important, so I don't expect that the answer for this particular opportunity will be the answer for every one going forward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's also extremely excited/interested in getting trophies (she has a participation trophy from a gymnastics class she is in and loves it), and perhaps this would be a chance for her to &quot;earn&quot; one, though I suspect that everyone gets one I suspect that those who do well in their group get different ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what are the pros and cons of having a young child participate in this sort of opportunity?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-12-24T10:53:47.580" LastActivityDate="2015-12-24T10:53:47.580" Title="Pros and Cons of competitive music festival" Tags="|primary-schooler|activities|music|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23453" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-23T05:33:44.520" Score="8" ViewCount="683" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question was prompted by a prior question where the OP happened to mention that they found zoos depressing but didn't want to tell their kids. I felt the same way as well, yet like other parents, I took my kids to the zoo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concerns centered around how bad zoo conditions were for those living there, and the ethical questions surrounding keeping animals in captivity for amusement (studies show that families use zoos to teach their children about &lt;em&gt;social mores&lt;/em&gt;, that is, values centered around human needs - like the importance of family-centered activities and social bonding - not for the education of kids about animals.) There was disrespectful behavior towards animals by other zoo-goers. Often the hygiene was terrible. Animals were on display who had obvious signs of abuse (bite marks, lacerations, etc.) from aggressive cage-or-aquarium-mates. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some who postulate that taking kids to zoos decreases a child's empathy towards animals (whereas pets have a positive effect on childhood empathy), and the few studies claiming that zoos have a positive effect on attitudes towards animals are largely financed by zoos themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't meant to sound like an anti-zoo rant (I'm sorry that it does.) As I mentioned already, we took our kids to zoos &lt;em&gt;a lot&lt;/em&gt; until perhaps 9 years of age, and they are certainly an ingrained and treasured part of childhood in many cultures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just wondered if there are any good ways parents know of to teach our children empathy for animals and lasting concern for their welfare - the purported reason for the existence of zoos - instead of just being quietly depressed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;There were obvious signs of stress and boredom in the animals, but I didn't exactly point that out to my kids. The education my kids got at the zoos was only superficially about animals; I didn't think it right to educate the kids on abuses of animals in captivity, the &lt;em&gt;trichotilomania&lt;/em&gt; and head banging in apes, the treatment of animals with Prozac and behavioral therapy, or the decreased lifespan of animals in captivity.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencemag.org/content/322/5908/1649.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Compromised Survivorship in Zoo Elephants&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.2151-6952.2009.tb00357.x/abstract;jsessionid=D07E952A7FA25A4AC20CFC08D22A1E7F.f03t04&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Anticipated Utility of Zoos for Developing Moral Concern in Children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-10T12:19:55.753" LastActivityDate="2019-04-10T12:19:55.753" Title="What are some better ways to teach empathy when taking kids to the zoo?" Tags="|teaching|activities|animal-interaction|empathy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23453" CreationDate="2015-12-23T06:23:46.360" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This could be a partial answer, but it could help at the zoo and the children's whole life. &quot;what they wouldn't like somebody do to them, they shouldn't do others&quot; in the same vein on the positive side. I hope  this answers your question a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20212" LastActivityDate="2015-12-23T06:23:46.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23452" CreationDate="2015-12-23T22:38:18.557" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Music festivals are different from other sorts of competitions because there's really no head to head aspect.  You go on when it's your turn, do your best, then you watch other performers and hope they do their best.  When I participated as a child, I often had my own piece, and accompanied a friend or sibling or two on their pieces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember feeling disappointed a few times in my own preparation, but I don't recall ever feeling unfairly judged.  I remember seeing the winning performances, feeling they deserved to win, and aspiring to do better myself next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't recall any extra negatives from the competition aspect of it, although I was never close to being in contention for the top spot, which would likely change things.  Mostly the negatives are the same as for any public performance:  getting over the jitters, and public humiliation if you screw up.  Both of those are really unavoidable obstacles if you're going to pursue music to any meaningful degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2015-12-23T22:38:18.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23458" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23459" CreationDate="2015-12-24T13:46:00.763" Score="2" ViewCount="478" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife calls her girls every Sunday for 30 minutes or less and that's all what her ex allows when it comes to contacting her daughters (their ages are are 6, 7 and 8). They keep asking why can't they meet her. My wife gives no answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have discussed it with her many times and I can't make up my mind myself so it must be hard decision on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think 100% honesty is the key for everything but also if she tells them the truth that would damage the relationship between her daughters and their father. My wife is taking a big risk here and probably sacrificing her relationship with them as they will grow up thinking that she does not want to meet them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not after a legal answer but merely asking what to tell the children till we figure out a way to force that selfish father of them to allow more than just a phone call. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Related:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/23438/is-it-better-for-siblings-to-meet-at-a-young-age&quot;&gt;Is it better for siblings to meet at a young age?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2015-12-31T13:36:48.687" Title="My wife's ex blocks all kind of contact between her and her daughter's (except a Sunday call), should she be honest about it with the children?" Tags="|divorce|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23458" CreationDate="2015-12-24T14:19:53.853" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what you describe, the father obviously has sole custody of the children.  To really know what to do in this situation, it would probably be necessary to understand why he has sole custody.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, a general rule of parenting after divorce is not to speak ill of the other parent, and without more information, that is what I would advise doing in this situation.  Your wife should honestly tell her daughters that she is not able to see them; she misses them, but it's not possible for them to get together, and she does not know when or if it will be possible in the future.  By all means, she should try to convince her father to let her see them, but the kids should not be pulled into this conflict between their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastActivityDate="2015-12-24T14:19:53.853" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23417" CreationDate="2015-12-25T02:02:32.950" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does he take a nap? If he takes a daytime nap, I would start by eliminating it so all his sleep is ay night. If not, how many hours is he sleeping total? Is it reasonable for his age? If it is enough sleep, try waking him earlier in the morning so he's more tired at bedtime. Be prepared for possibly having a cranky day or two during the transition. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1387" LastActivityDate="2015-12-25T02:02:32.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23461" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-25T02:28:49.370" Score="2" ViewCount="103" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is using a potty described in this video for 1 month++ old baby safe?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm referring to supporting the child on the potty as he poops. My wife is strongly against it as there is no support for the baby's back. but I find her way of pooping too messy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She rest the baby on the changing table and induce him to poop by saying &quot;umm umm umm&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby poop all over the place and need to periodically clean his poop for new poop to come out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm considering support the baby on the potty and induce him to poop by saying &quot;umm umm ummm&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw3oLxgdAVY&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Video - Baby Potty Training&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20298" LastEditorUserId="20298" LastEditDate="2015-12-27T11:11:03.653" LastActivityDate="2015-12-28T22:07:43.580" Title="Is using a potty described in this video for 1 month++ old baby safe?" Tags="|potty-training|stools|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23461" CreationDate="2015-12-25T11:19:41.010" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think any potty would be safe, as long as you supervise and support your child when on the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20258" LastActivityDate="2015-12-25T11:19:41.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23465" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-25T14:08:23.627" Score="4" ViewCount="266" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 6-year-old boy. He is generally lovely, bright, and easy to be around,  &lt;strong&gt;but&lt;/strong&gt; is often quick to anger when playing with friends and smaller kids (classic example is when he does not get his own way) resulting is shouting, screaming, hitting, and very occasionally biting. When he reaches this point it tends to happen very quickly (before he can catch it) and he upsets both himself and others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are concerned that this is limiting him socially and we are actively seeking a strategy to help him. We are at the point when we are ready to see a child psycholgist. Can anyone suggest, books, strategies or next steps here? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20302" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-22T12:21:38.303" LastActivityDate="2019-05-22T12:21:38.303" Title="How to help our 6-year-old who is quick to anger but upsets others and himself?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|social-development|anger|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23468" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-26T04:31:27.403" Score="1" ViewCount="445" Body="&lt;p&gt;Has anybody else had any trouble using the baby bjorn in regards to heat rashes? Both myself and my little one are appropriately dressed for the weather, but when I put him into the carrier facing me, he always gets red bumps on his belly. I'm not sure if dressing him less is the answer. For people with baby bjorns out there, do you dress your little one less in anticipation of body heat?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17336" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T16:24:32.770" Title="Baby Bjorn and heat rashes" Tags="|infant|transport|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23471" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23497" CreationDate="2015-12-26T13:20:36.760" Score="1" ViewCount="989" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question goes to the people who have read the &quot;Baby whisperer&quot; where the author talks about the 4s of winding down. The 3rd S is &quot;sitting&quot;. It's not clear what that means. &quot;Sit with him quietly for around five minutes with him in the vertical position.&quot; what does that mean? Is that the same thing as picking him up and you are sitting a vertical position? Or is he sitting on the cot in a vertical position with him? Who is sitting? Is the baby sitting or is the parent sitting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17336" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T23:15:08.740" Title="4s in winding down time, what is sitting?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23472" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-26T13:24:40.833" Score="2" ViewCount="551" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6 year old Godson, we live in the Caribbean, and he's in Grade 2. He spends more time talking, playing and sometime just sitting in his class not doing anything his teacher says to do. We have taken him to different professionals to get help but no luck. He still remains the same, Very rarely he gets in the mood to do his work, but he don't even want to sit and eat his lunch so me and his parents have to take turns going to the school to make sure he eats and get feedback from the teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to help him settle in school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20309" LastEditorUserId="1528" LastEditDate="2015-12-27T05:44:59.893" LastActivityDate="2017-06-13T21:25:55.620" Title="not settled in school" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23465" CreationDate="2015-12-26T22:18:21.110" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like your son loses impulse control in these situations. From your description (&quot;upsets himself and others&quot;) he already knows that his behavior is not acceptable. The problem is that he reaches a point where he looses control and cannot help acting the way he does. This means just telling him to stop does not help him any more. He needs to learn to control these impulses himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience the best way to do that is to identify the impulses and give him room to live them out under conditions that are fun rather than stressful. That way he learns strategies to live out his impulses in a constructive way (getting exercise and practicing his motor skills in the process). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, you could go out to a lake and throw rocks into the water as far and wide as possible. Or you could go into the woods and fight monsters (trees/bushes) with sticks. At home you could get a punching ball and/or foam swords (our kids love to fight with the foam insulation used for heated water pipes). Just be creative and find out what activity (the more active the better) he really enjoys. This is most likely the activity that helps him best to learn to control his impulses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20086" LastEditorUserId="20086" LastEditDate="2016-02-24T12:50:32.510" LastActivityDate="2016-02-24T12:50:32.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23474" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23472" CreationDate="2015-12-27T01:50:20.887" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is the tough love approach, and I do mean love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;STOP ENABLING HIM! Let him fail, and don't give him any reward for being average.  You'll be doing the same forever if you don't stop now.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Allow him to experience the alternative.  Give him some hard work or chores to do if he does poorly as that will be his career option in life. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ground him if he fails to do his work.  Eventually his desire for&#xA;freedom will over come his disdain for work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't make him eat lunch. You can survive 30 days without food he'll be fine if he eats one meal a day like dinner at home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of this may be hard to do but that comes with being a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20071" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2016-01-26T14:41:40.933" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T14:41:40.933" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23475" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23487" CreationDate="2015-12-27T03:23:49.397" Score="10" ViewCount="818" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was playing a creepy little indie video game the other day (Undertale) and my brother (who is 9 years old) happened to watch me play for a while, despite my warnings that it might be scary or complex. I encountered a creepy character (Flowey, a flower with a demonic face) and that left an impression on my brother, and now he is scared to sleep alone/be alone in general...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How might I go about solving this issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20315" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T12:21:04.127" Title="How do I solve my brother's fear of a creepy video game character?" Tags="|primary-schooler|fears|video-games|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23476" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-27T11:26:34.123" Score="4" ViewCount="509" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is coming to 2 month+.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been doing the housework (pooping, bathing, wet cloth cleaning, feeding and etc, laundry).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still fail at putting the baby to sleep after feeding and can't seems to improve my interaction with the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife for some reason can sing him to sleep, I guess my voice sux and I feel she has better interaction with the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She monopolize the child by having confinement at her place for first month and now I'm playing catching up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;May I know as a dad what can I do? is there a book to recommend me please?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not very sure which tag to use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20298" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2015-12-28T04:14:38.217" LastActivityDate="2019-06-14T11:56:08.160" Title="As a father, how to improve my relationship with our 2-month-old baby?" Tags="|newborn|relationships|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23476" CreationDate="2015-12-27T12:30:32.107" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I can only give you an advice based on experience:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby at such young age doesn't recognize you or anybody else. He only recognize his mom from her voice, smell and touch.&#xA;Maybe your voice isn't nice but that's not the reason, simply you are a stranger to him/her just like anybody else but his/her mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;So the advice is&lt;/em&gt;: give it few months&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="11157" LastEditDate="2015-12-27T12:42:03.210" LastActivityDate="2015-12-27T12:42:03.210" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5430" CreationDate="2015-12-27T13:18:32.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One system that seems to work is to put a tiny amount of egg (or whatever it is the child doesn't like) and then insist that it be eaten. Then increase slowly from there. The idea is to first get over the resistance to having any of it, and then work on quantity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. With me it was tomatoes; I couldn't stand them, and every time we had a salad may parents would put two segments (total 1/3 of a tomato) on the plate and insist that they be eaten. I eventually learned to smother the taste with salad cream, and I still can't stand raw tomatoes (paste on a pizza or as an ingredient mixed with other stuff is fine). Probably a whole third of a tomato was too much: maybe a tiny piece would have worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-12-27T13:18:32.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23476" CreationDate="2015-12-27T14:13:33.447" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I initially tried to copy everything my wife did to sooth and bond with our son, but the singing and other tricks really didn't work for me. Eventually, I found my own tricks and have trained my boy to enjoy them (or he trained me). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took time and I only felt confident after my wife would leave the house, and I was forced to hone my skills. I started by making nappy changing as fun as possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20318" LastEditorUserId="20318" LastEditDate="2019-06-14T11:56:08.160" LastActivityDate="2019-06-14T11:56:08.160" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23476" CreationDate="2015-12-27T15:15:11.467" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;How to help get a baby to sleep&quot; has already been answered extensively here, so please read the posts on that topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As regards improving your relationship with baby, this isn't a father or mother thing as such - it is mostly around maximising interaction with your baby: touch, talking, cuddling, singing etc. So try to do as much of this as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2015-12-27T15:15:11.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23482" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-27T18:42:51.590" Score="3" ViewCount="257" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old son is very extroverted, and loves to talk to anyone and everyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, this feels problematic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, he engages waiters and waitresses in conversation, which frequently lean more towards lectures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A waitress recently came by to clear an empty plate from our table.  He launched into a detailed explanation of everything he did this morning, right down to the details such as walking from his bedroom to the kitchen, pulling our his chair, etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people seem okay with this, and politely listen, but I feel awkward in these situations because they're working, and he's monopolizing their time.  Indeed, some people do show frustration, and even cut him off or walk away mid-sentence  (which hurts his feelings).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and are both introverts, and talking to people &lt;em&gt;too much&lt;/em&gt; is not something we have much experience with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we handle these situations? How do we address the difference between chatting, and &quot;talking someone's ear off&quot;, without discouraging him from being friendly? Can we do this now, or should we wait until he's older?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2015-12-28T16:08:37.800" Title="Should I discourage my son from talking so much?" Tags="|pre-schooler|social-development|etiquette|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23483" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-27T19:27:45.733" Score="3" ViewCount="139" Body="&lt;p&gt;Good evening!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a 19-year old Computer Science student living in Rotterdam, the Netherlands with my parents and I am having difficulty deciding whether I should tell my parents and other family members about my (absolute) loss of belief in God.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In realize there are similar questions available on this site, but I found none that really matched my situation. In the other questions the OP is usually older and is also &quot;known&quot; for doubting his/her faith, whilst this is not known about me by my family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some background info: My parents, sister and I are members of the Dutch &quot;Christelijk gereformeerde kerk&quot; (&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Reformed_Churches&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Reformed_Churches&lt;/a&gt; if you're interested.) This church is relatively right-leaning and very orthodox. My mother is also a very traditional, somewhat controlling orthodox christian. My father and sister are only slightly less orthodox. The rest of my family (grandparents etc.) are just as traditional as my mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I was 15 I have had serious doubts about my faith, and about 1 year ago I completely stopped believing in God (and any other Deity for that matter). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dillemma is the following: I am still going to church with my parents, I sing the hymns, the whole nine yards. If I declare my Atheism right now, it will probably be a devastating shock to my family and it might destroy my relationship with my parents altogether. I love my parents and my family and I do not want this to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if I keep up the appearance of being a normal believer, I will be a hypocrite. Another problem is that my parents keep pressing me to find a Christian girlfriend; if I start dating a Christian girl, I will have another &quot;problem&quot; to add to my list when I eventually come forward about being an Atheist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My apologies for the long post. This dillemma has plagued me for months now, and I would really love to hear some advice and other peoples' thoughts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks in advance,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Robert&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20321" LastEditorUserId="20321" LastEditDate="2015-12-27T20:27:29.657" LastActivityDate="2015-12-27T20:27:29.657" Title="Should I tell my parents that I don't believe in God anymore?" Tags="|parents|religion|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2015-12-27T21:23:18.903" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23485" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23498" CreationDate="2015-12-27T22:23:22.350" Score="5" ViewCount="349" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it OK to take a two-month-old baby out in fresh air and cool weather (14 C, 57 F) if properly warmed by adequate clothing? How long can the baby be outside?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20074" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-03T18:09:26.517" LastActivityDate="2018-11-03T18:09:26.517" Title="Is it ok to take a 2-month-old baby out on fresh air?" Tags="|newborn|clothes|temperatures|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2016-01-06T16:40:13.733" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23475" CreationDate="2015-12-28T14:28:54.600" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd discuss this with your parents and then follow their lead. Props to you for stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility, but I don't think its actually your problem. All young children encounter scary stuff from time to time, and often will latch on to one particular thing as a focus for more generalised fear of darkness or strangeness. So its actually a routine childhood thing, and its not your fault that he happened to latch on to something you showed him, rather than something he read or saw on the TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me it was the &lt;a href=&quot;http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/DoctorWho&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Daleks&lt;/a&gt;, and I also went through a phase of being convinced that any unexplained ticking noise might be an &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Provisional_Irish_Republican_Army_campaign_1969%E2%80%9397#1970s&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;IRA time bomb&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; in response to @personjerry's request for more info:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't give you a recipe, but here are some pointers for talking to him about it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Acknowledge his fear as real and valid. Obviously &quot;Flowey&quot; isn't real, but your brother's fear is. Telling him he is being silly or childish won't deal with the fear, but it will stop you from helping him. Talk about times you felt scared. Try to establish understanding based on common experience.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Something that Terry Pratchett wrote (from memory, so it may not be word perfect): &quot;Fairy stories don't tell children there are monsters. Children already know there are monsters. Fairy stories tell children that monsters can be killed&quot;. Does Flowey meet a bad end? Can you arrange for your brother to play that part of the game and win? Its only a guess, but maybe conquering Flowey himself would be part of the solution. After all, if Flowey is there in the dark, logically the weapons to defeat Flowey would also be there, since they are part of the same universe.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does your brother watch/read any heroic fiction (IronMan/Batman/Superman/whatever)? Could he imagine having his favorite hero standing guard?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A standard technique for dealing with phobic situations is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.simplypsychology.org/Systematic-Desensitisation.html?PageSpeed=noscript&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;desensitisation&lt;/a&gt;: suggest to him that he practice being alone in a dark place for a short limited time, like in a dark cupboard for a minute, with you standing outside to tell him when the minute is up. Then get him to extend it. Don't force this; you need him to agree to stretch himself, but not to the point of being distressed. If the idea upsets him then back off.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2016-01-01T12:21:04.127" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T12:21:04.127" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23482" CreationDate="2015-12-28T14:49:49.627" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I have the same problem with my 5yo (almost 6yo). She is a very extrovert girl, she talks with everybody and makes friends very easily. In that types of situation, we say to her that the people are busy or working, so she can't monopolize their time. At 5, they can understand concepts such &quot;busy&quot; and &quot;work&quot;. Obviously, you have to say it very kindly: &quot;honey, the waitress it's working right now...you can talk to me instead&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17522" LastActivityDate="2015-12-28T14:49:49.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23482" CreationDate="2015-12-28T16:08:37.800" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, you should not discourage your son from talking so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you could do is encourage your son to become more aware of the situation.  Talk about what people are doing, and why they are busy, and why they might not be able to, nor want to, talk to him. You'd want to let him know that in some situations talking is not appropriate (talk very quietly if you're in the cinema, for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also want to talk to the other people in that situation to &quot;give them permission&quot; to ignore your son or to walk away when they're done.  Something like &quot;ho ho, isn't he talkative! He'd be here talking all day if he could, but we know you're busy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-28T16:08:37.800" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11618" CreationDate="2015-12-28T18:45:29.850" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;E -cig is a relatively new phenomenon. When cigarettes were introduced it was considered safe to pregnant or otherwise , it was only in the past decade or so that real statistical data and research proved how harmful it is. So we cannot assume anything and when it comes to the safety of an unborn child, every precaution should be taken and people who smoke ecigs should be polite in social or family gatherings. It is always good manners to ask a lady if she minds someone smoking, and especially if it is a pregnant lady and she has an objection, her objection should be considered as a well mannered and kind human, instead of arguing for or against ecigs. That would be common politeness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20331" LastActivityDate="2015-12-28T18:45:29.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23494" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-29T07:33:56.397" Score="1" ViewCount="246" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl is 3 months old and always wants to be held sitting up. as such, she is often in view of my television. I try not to let her fixate on it too much because I feel that it is a lot going on for a baby and don't want to start any habits...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her grandparents have a small living room and a huge TV. Grandpa is constantly sitting close to it and saying she likes &quot;to watch it&quot;. Is it physically or mentally detrimental for my baby to be that close to the TV, or to even be in view of it at all?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20337" LastActivityDate="2016-01-03T16:35:40.247" Title="Is it detrimental for my infant to be in front of the television set?" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2016-01-03T19:58:31.633" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23494" CreationDate="2015-12-29T10:55:14.247" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a small but serious risk of death or harm if the TV falls on the infant.  Please make sure the TV has a good quality stand, and preferably is secured to the wall if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.today.com/health/toppling-tv-sets-are-injuring-more-kids-study-finds-t46736&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;one child dies every two weeks in the US&lt;/a&gt; from falling TVs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But your question is not about falling, it's about the cognitive stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/pages/media-and-children.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;American Association of Pediatrics recommends zero screen time before 2 years old&lt;/a&gt;.  That's about the most restrictive credible recommendation I can find.  But that recommendation is not asking you to prevent your child from ever seeing a screen before the age of 2. It's telling you that face to face time is better for the child than tv time; that tv time doesn't provide any benefits, and that excessive screentime might be mildly detrimental to language development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So there isn't anything to worry about from occasional tv watching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wsj.com/articles/pediatricians-rethink-screen-time-policy-for-children-1444671636&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;AAP is starting to look at this guidance to see if it's still the right advice.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's a bit rude of Grandpa to ignore your wishes. Your request is reasonable, not outlandish, and they should be listening to you.  I have no idea how you'd ask them to start paying more attention to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-29T10:55:14.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23496" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-29T11:32:56.947" Score="3" ViewCount="271" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old son screams in his sleep doing nap time and has to be woking  up to stop him from doing so. He does that at night as well, at least once or twice most nights. I am getting worried about him. What do I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20339" LastActivityDate="2016-06-24T10:46:14.820" Title="My 4 year old screaming in his sleep doing nap time" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23471" CreationDate="2015-12-29T11:46:14.257" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &quot;sitting&quot; S in the 4S's part of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.baby-sleep-advice.com/baby-whisperer.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tracy Hogg's &lt;em&gt;Sleep Whisperer&lt;/em&gt; system&lt;/a&gt; refers to the parent, not the child.  The child is in their cot, the parent is sitting on a chair near the cot. Sometimes the parent is sitting near enough to the cot to be able to put a hand on the child to so a &quot;shush pat&quot; (the fourth part of the 4S's).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children are going to be reassured by the close presence, and some are going to be kept awake by it, and Tracy Hogg's method relies on the parent knowing what's best for their child.  It's not a rigid method of timetables and prescriptive rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2015-12-29T11:46:14.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23485" CreationDate="2015-12-29T12:38:53.457" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no inherent risk for even a newborn just from being outside, compared to being in a building, so &lt;strong&gt;yes, it is ok&lt;/strong&gt;. As a matter of fact, exposing a small child to diverse environments (within reason) probably stimulates a healthy development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if there are &lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt; risks associated with being outside, you should be aware of them and take appropriate precautions. Possible risks that come to mind are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;exposure to cold (make sure the child is adequately clothed)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;overheating (same)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sunstroke (same again, plus keep the child in the shade)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;very loud noises&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;things that scare the child (depends on child)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;danger from motor traffic&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;danger from animals (pet dogs or wild animals)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you take precautions as necessary for your specific environments, I don't think there's anything to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, remember that &lt;em&gt;your wellbeing&lt;/em&gt; is also important. Not important enough to endanger your child, of course, but if a breath of fresh air helps you feel good, by all means take your child outside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2015-12-29T12:38:53.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23499" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-29T13:40:54.947" Score="4" ViewCount="141" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a five-year old (beautiful) daughter who is in Kindergarten. I know children of her age &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; ten to twelve hours, varying on the individual. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/howmuchsleep.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;She's near the top of the range&lt;/a&gt;. Its fairly easy to get her to go to bed and when she's had her appropriate amount of sleep, she is either woken easily or wakes herself up and gets going well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My trouble is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her bedtime is 7:30 PM&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her school starts at 8 AM&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For reasons not divulged here, we leave the house between 7:35 AM and 7:40 AM but there is room to push that a bit later&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her natural rhythm has her being wake-able starting somewhere between 7:15-7:30 (by this I mean she either wakes up herself before I can or I wake her and she gets up fairly easily)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We eat a small breakfast (water and some primarily grain or fruit dish) and do other preparations (brush teeth, get dressed, get ready to leave, clear off the car in winter, etc...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the mornings tend to be a busy, relatively. Ideally, I'd like to reduce that and make the mornings calmer but that seems difficult given the sleep/time constraints and the activity list. Should I just be content in the (pretty easy) lot I have until she gets older and sleeps less or is there some optimization or reduction I could make to reduce the 'mad dash' in the mornings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11842" LastEditorUserId="11842" LastEditDate="2015-12-29T16:57:26.780" LastActivityDate="2015-12-29T17:13:58.620" Title="Optimizing busy morning time" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23499" CreationDate="2015-12-29T17:13:58.620" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;School and work schedules make getting your child enough sleep really tricky, if you want to spend any time with them awake, don't they?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I'd suggest a few things. You've said you can leave a little later, so why not do that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also do any tasks that don't require your daughter to be awake ahead of time. Clear off the car, set up her breakfast, do any other tasks you need to do while she's still sleeping. Maybe start a habit of her laying out her clothes for the next day, and packing up what she can in her backpack, the night before. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that helps:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2030" LastActivityDate="2015-12-29T17:13:58.620" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23417" CreationDate="2015-12-29T17:45:14.177" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting into a good sleeping routine is very difficult for some kids. For the longest time my daughter would be up untill midnight every night and it was exhausting for us and for her. She was just full of energy. We had a hard time committing to a consistent routine because we were so tired, but eventually we found one that worked for us over time, very slowly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having your child take a bath is very relaxing and you could try&#xA;using the Johnson and Johnson Night time washing products because I&#xA;hear they are good (they smell nice anyway). I can't recall if we&#xA;used them - but I feel like we did. So a nice warm bath is very&#xA;soothing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And then we would let her pick about 5 books, which was very exciting&#xA;for her. I made sure to make the last book something like Goodnight&#xA;Moon because I always found that soothing as a child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then I would sing her several songs. Sometimes she would make me sing&#xA;a song over and over, which was so exhausting, but it helped and&#xA;eventually I was able to reduce the amount of songs to a reasonable&#xA;amount. A sound machine helped as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also, you might want to try some warm milk before bed (you should&#xA;brush teeth after the milk so it is not on his teeth overnight).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A back rub might make him feel relaxed as well, if he can relax&#xA;enough to allow it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very hard and I totally understand. He is likely going through a growth spurt and this should subside sooner rather than later. I've found that almost always whatever is most challenging at the time will change and I just have to tell myself that over and over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Routines are extremely important for children and they really thrive from them. They cannot communicate it, but they do want the routines and boundaries you provide because it creates structure for them. Good luck and I hope this struggle is over soon! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19108" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-06-05T06:09:39.247" LastActivityDate="2018-06-05T06:09:39.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23502" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14592" CreationDate="2015-12-29T21:55:23.117" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was teaching first grade a specialist explained to me that the reason we print from top to bottom is not only does it help to form the letters correctly, but more importantly requires the use of different muscles in the wrist and arms. This differs in cursive because the movement is fluid. When writing from the bottom up you use the larger muscles and there is more strain.  This becomes more of a problem later when students choose to take shorter notes and write less in general because it's tiring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20344" LastActivityDate="2015-12-29T21:55:23.117" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23503" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23513" CreationDate="2015-12-29T13:53:36.870" Score="2" ViewCount="738" Body="&lt;p&gt;I never had an indoor cat, especially in the UK. I am familiar with their behavior as I had plenty of outdoor cats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is slightly autistic, I have no idea if it is advisable to have my boy and pet/cat under the same roof.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" OwnerDisplayName="Ulkoma" LastEditorUserId="10122" LastEditDate="2015-12-30T12:13:27.003" LastActivityDate="2016-01-04T23:11:49.667" Title="Our son is slightly autistic, Is it wise to have an indoor cat?" Tags="|autism|pets|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23503" CreationDate="2015-12-29T19:49:51.450" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't remember the name of it, but I was watching a program on Nat Geo or Discovery the other day and there was a semi-autistic child who didn't interact with the adults much until they got a cat and it really brought him out of his shell. I think they were saying that several cat behaviors appeal to autistic people. For instance, cat's don't prefer to make eye contact. They also aren't very noisy (some cats are very noisy), and they're fairly passive aggressive about attention. I'm not saying that it will absolutely work for you, because it depends on the person as well as the cat. My aunt has a kitten who's a little hellion on speed, but plenty of cats are calm. I think it's really worth looking into.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, just remembered a grown man with autism on the show 'Must Love Cats'. He had the same deal going on. Ended up building walkways all through their house for his cats. You can probably find that on youtube.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Dalton" LastActivityDate="2015-12-29T19:49:51.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23503" CreationDate="2015-12-30T03:42:58.137" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may have heard the expression &quot;if you've seen one child with autism, you've seen &lt;strong&gt;ONE&lt;/strong&gt; child with autism&quot;. &quot;autism&quot; covers such a wide range of behaviors and experiences that it's really hard to make general predictions. Furthermore, age is a big factor here with all children (and cats, for that matter), autistic or not. That said, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/23504/4054&quot;&gt;Dalton's reasoning&lt;/a&gt; makes a lot of sense, inasmuch as generalizations &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; be made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 9-year-old, who is also &quot;slightly autistic&quot;, gets along great with other people's cats (we don't have any of our own yet), but it took him some time to learn how to approach them. Early on, he was too eager to approach the cats, they ran away, and he had a tough time dealing with his frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of getting a cat right away, consider taking him to an animal shelter, to see how he's interacting with cats and to &lt;em&gt;teach&lt;/em&gt; him how to interact with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10122" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-01-04T12:11:13.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11225" CreationDate="2015-12-30T11:22:05.533" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The AA says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Extreme hazard warning&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must not use a rear-facing child seat on a passenger seat where an active passenger airbag is fitted. The child's head will be too close to the airbag and severe injury or death could result if the bag is triggered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For forward facing child restraints it is acceptable to leave the airbag active and move the car's seat back on its runners as far as it will go. Do check the car handbook for model specific advice though as airbag size and performance does vary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theaa.com/motoring_advice/child_safety/carseats.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.theaa.com/motoring_advice/child_safety/carseats.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was news to me; I had thought it was necessary to disable the airbag even for front-facing child seats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As it says, check the manual for the car to be sure for your particular model.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also re 'pushing the seat right back', check the child seat manual to ensure the child seat is still safe in the way it interfaces with the seatbelt when it's in a front seat pushed right back - it might not be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Joe's answer says, it's a whole lot safer just to keep them in the rear seats of the vehicle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2015-12-30T11:27:52.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23509" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23512" CreationDate="2015-12-30T11:25:05.680" Score="3" ViewCount="498" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 24-year-old daughter's cat just died.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've never met her cat, and I am currently only in contact with her over Facebook. I also don't know her address so I can't send her anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It really has to just be something that I can message her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also hasn't seen her cat in a long time as she is always travelling for work in case that's relevant. Also I have no photos. I'll only accept written responses as an accepted answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only found out her cat had died after sending her a message that I was holding my cat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;Daughter: &quot;my cat died, oh, please don't i'm sorry&quot;&#xA;Me: &quot;I'm sorry&quot;&#xA;Daughter: &quot;I can't, I don't, want&quot;&#xA;Me: &quot;How are you? Are you ok? Your cat was lucky to have you&quot;&#xA;Daughter: &quot;perhaps, let's just stop, thanks, i appreciate&quot;&#xA;Me: &quot;ok sorry, I feel really sad now&quot;&#xA;Daughter: &quot;stop&quot;&#xA;Me: &quot;Yes ok&quot;&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you can see her typing seems erratic, and she asked me to stop talking about it multiple times, but she is also clearly very upset and I want to console her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20351" LastEditorUserId="9221" LastEditDate="2016-01-01T01:01:01.323" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T04:37:17.153" Title="What to say to a child whose pet just died" Tags="|parents|adult-child|pets|death|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23503" CreationDate="2015-12-30T20:02:49.390" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you could find a friend with a friendly cat or two and see how he gets on with them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no experience of this, but I would note that both cats and autistic children like regular routines, which would suggest that they would complement each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2015-12-30T20:02:49.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23511" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-30T21:39:27.597" Score="4" ViewCount="218" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a baby who is 3 weeks old (when I write this). She is very nice and sleeps very well during the day, however it seems to be difficult for her during the night. The problem is that, even she is sleeping, she makes some noise as if she had nightmares. (This happens each 1 hour during the night.) When we try to hold her and swing her, she becomes calm as usual, but when we put her back to her bed, she feels angry and does not want to sleep anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Someone can help us? Thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20355" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T14:55:39.610" Title="Baby screams while sleeping" Tags="|newborn|night-time|night-terrors|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23509" CreationDate="2015-12-30T22:42:02.657" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an interesting question because it pertains to all expressions of sympathy. I'll presume the dialogue was included to try to make sense of the interaction and her feelings, so an appropriate message can be sent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the more helpful explanations of the principles of expressions of sympathy is that comfort should only flow in &lt;em&gt;one direction&lt;/em&gt;, and that is towards the aggrieved. (This was proposed by Susan Silk, a clinical psychologist who developed the model when she had breast cancer.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It works in all kinds of crises -- medical, legal, even existential. It's the 'Ring Theory' of kvetching. The first rule is comfort in, dump out. [&lt;em&gt;Dump out&lt;/em&gt; refers to any feelings you might have that require comfort being given to you.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter gets the sympathy. Any statement of yours that requires sympathy or comfort from her violates that &quot;rule&quot;. Please see the following (strange) illustration. Though it's just a (strange) diagram, I'm going to adhere to it in my answer. (Although it sounds clinical, I don't mean to sound cold. These are just good, objective principles to follow.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/W7qxX.png&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/W7qxX.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All comfort flows in - toward the aggrieved. All complaints/kvetching/expressions of entitlement/etc. flow out. If someone else needs comforting, it needs to come from someone in a circle outside of theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who exactly belongs in which circle becomes rearranged depending on circumstances (e.g. an estranged sibling isn't in the same circle as a close sibling.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I am so sorry for your loss.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is a standard expression where the comfort flows in one direction only. It demands nothing in the way of a response except, perhaps, &quot;Thank you.&quot; Ideally anything else said needs to be in response to the answer you get from the recipient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Thank you&quot; requires no further response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this model, your daughter has the right to &lt;em&gt;express concern for herself&lt;/em&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He was such a good cat, and I loved him so much. What will I ever do without him? I feel so lost!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, only &quot;comfort&quot; flows in. Possible responses:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;I am so sorry; it's so very sad. (Simply repeat.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Is there anything I can do (&lt;em&gt;for you&lt;/em&gt;)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Please let me know if there's anything I can do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was an interesting exchange in your conversation that reversed direction of &lt;em&gt;&quot;comfort in, dump out&quot;&lt;/em&gt; (actually, there are two, but I'll address the more obvious one.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Me: &quot;ok sorry, I feel really sad now&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is (unintentionally, I'm certain) a request for understanding/comfort to flow &lt;em&gt;to you from your daughter&lt;/em&gt;. It doesn't feel good to the person who is experiencing grief. Your daughter's response was very direct and honest: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was resisting the request made of her. Some people can handle this with aplomb. But in all honesty, it's a stretch for everyone; the deeper the grief, the harder it is. Seeing as she was just reminded of her sadness, I presume this all took her by surprise (as it did you.) We're often not at our best in that circumstance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to express sympathy to her again with better results, may I suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I just wanted to say again that I'm very sorry for your loss. I also want to say I'm sorry I made it about me.* It's not about me at all; please forgive me. If there's anything I can do to help you, please let me know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think anything else needs to be said. Hopefully you'll get other answers with other perspectives as well. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;It's hard - very hard - to realize when one makes demands from someone in grief, but it happens a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt;. A great - and major - example is given in the reference, which I'll include here in an abbreviated form: Susan was hospitalized for her breast cancer. One of Susan's colleagues wanted to visit her, but Susan told her she didn't want visitors. Her colleague's response: &quot;This isn't just about you.&quot; &quot;It's not?&quot; Susan wondered. &quot;My breast cancer is not about me? It's about you?&quot; Her friend was putting her needs &lt;em&gt;about Susan's illness&lt;/em&gt; before Susan's needs. That doesn't usually turn out well. And the people who do this usually have a hard time recognizing that there's anything wrong with how they feel. Reading the article should really help you understand the way expressing sympathy works.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;How not to say the wrong thing&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2015-12-31T01:07:19.277" LastActivityDate="2015-12-31T01:07:19.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23503" CreationDate="2015-12-31T00:12:03.810" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my daughter (16) and son (13) are high-level autistic (would have been called aspie by the old yardstick). We've had cats their entire lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently we have two cats, a big black labrador, and two guinea pigs. In the past we've also had goldfish and hermit crabs. They've been very good with the pets overall. The cats certainly make a lot more sense to them then people as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kathyhoopmann.com/books-allcats.html&quot;&gt;all cats have asperger syndrome&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Agree with the good suggestions from other answerers: take your son to an animal shelter or a friend-with-cats place and acclimatise him a bit first. Also consider getting a three or four year old cat, rather than a kitten. A good natured older cat may work better than a zooming little fur ball that hasn't yet figured out that it should retract its claws while running over carpet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20356" LastActivityDate="2015-12-31T00:12:03.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23509" CreationDate="2015-12-31T08:37:44.590" Score="5" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hi, how are you today? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, if you really feel the need to say something. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. If you want to talk about it, I am here. And if you don't, I will respect that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the conversation you posted, your daughter told you to stop talking about it three times, the last time very directly. People deal with loss differently and if she doesn't want to be reminded of it at all by you, even in the form of getting comfort/sympathy/help, I think you need to respect that boundary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As anongoodnurse wrote, this is not about you, and at the risk of sounding harsh, I would extend that to say this is also not about your need to comfort her. If she feels comfortable and needs your support, let her come to you. If not, don't think that reflects badly on you as a parent or friend. It doesn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people really need to take their mind off a loss to be able to deal with it at the pace and time &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; choose for example, and if they are in that state where they just took their mind off it and then get reminded again, it can be painful. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it with anyone, maybe she wants to talk to someone, but it's not you. That's fine, and again, no reflection on you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, there is a but of a problem in interpretation here - the &quot;Stop&quot; and &quot;let's just stop&quot; might have been just for that moment, or it might have been an attempt to say that she doesn't want to discuss the topic at all. I am not sure how close you two are, whether you can tell whether she meant the former or the latter. When in doubt, I would err on the side of &quot;not discussing at all&quot;, others would choose the other option. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19428" LastEditorUserId="19428" LastEditDate="2015-12-31T17:25:58.440" LastActivityDate="2015-12-31T17:25:58.440" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23511" CreationDate="2015-12-31T09:16:36.140" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps this is just a difficult time and she is getting used to be separate from her mother (after all she has been with you her whole life) now she must learn to be separate. I think babies learn very quickly that if they cry they get comfort, and so if she is crying at night repeatedly then perhaps she has already learned this ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think crying overall is a bad thing unless there is clearly a problem (illness, rash, etc). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have you tried swaddling blankets at night? (so she feels like she&#xA;is held)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does she sleep in her basket in your bedroom? (so she does not feel&#xA;too far away)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have you tried to comfort her without lifting her out?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is she just hungry?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it too quiet at night? (maybe she sleeps well in the day because she subconsciously knows that you are close)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think there are so many reason she might cry, it would be difficult to give just one direct answer, but hopefully some of the above suggestion can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: what is the room temperature? Is it too hot or cold? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20294" LastEditorUserId="20294" LastEditDate="2016-01-01T14:55:39.610" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T14:55:39.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23518" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2015-12-31T23:42:42.047" Score="3" ViewCount="333" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little girl is about 2 1/2 years old now, and she's been doing bare bottom potty usage for the past two months or so with good success (not including poop because she's upset to go poop at all so we're tackling that problem alongside potty learning). I don't mind letting her go bare butt when we're home, but when I want to leave the house at all she thinks of any panties or cloth training pants as her cloth diapers, even if I use her princess panties and say &quot;these are panties, so we don't pee on them. You have to tell me when you need to pee&quot;. I would love to ditch the diapers entirely, but how am I supposed to take her shopping with me without soaking her car seat, pants, the shopping cart, and anything else she pees on while wearing her panties?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20362" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T11:40:14.837" Title="How to go out with a toddler learning to use the potty without diapers?" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23509" CreationDate="2016-01-01T04:37:17.153" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two actual questions you could be asking:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What should one say to a child whose pet has just died?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can I rectify an apparently-bungled approach to a discussion with a child whose pet has just died?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have given information which suggests that your relationship with your daughter is not as strong as you'd desire: a cat you've never known (they have lifetimes generally well over 10 years), you do not know (and apparently cannot ask) her current address, and the only means of communication is Facebook (but if she can access Facebook, there is a high probability she has phone service and you cannot access her by that means).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not point this out to be mean to you -- far from it.  I point it out to set the context of &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt; view of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Death itself is not formulaic, nor is coping with death.  The answer to #1 above is, &quot;it depends.&quot;  The other answers have given good guidance, but there is not a single answer to the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, for the rest of this answer, I'm going to assume you understood what she was saying in the broken dialog (I wouldn't have initially caught her intention.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When someone effectively says (for whatever reason), &quot;My cared-about-thing died and I don't want to talk about it&quot;, saying, &quot;I am sorry for your loss&quot; is cliché in this day and age: it shows no compassion and effectively says, &quot;I don't know what to say, so I'll apply a rubber stamp response to your dramatic situation.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, then, how do we say the truth without making the situation worse: that we do not have the words we want, but care so very much?  The answer is the truth:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Oh, no! I know there aren't the right words, but when you want to talk, I'll listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That 1) validates their emotions, 2) tells the truth, and 3) opens a gateway of communication for when &lt;em&gt;they&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;feel&lt;/strong&gt; the time is right.  Yes, I just gave a single answer to what I said could not have a single answer, but therein lies the &quot;trick&quot;... by saying truly no more than, &quot;I care; talk when you're ready&quot;, you provide all the different answers!  As has been said by others, the greatest conversationalist is the one who is the best listener.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The assertions that you were focusing on yourself in other answers are erroneous.  You were expressing yourself in the best way you knew:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you said that you were sorry for her loss (response #1);&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you said that she was a great parent to her pet (response #2);&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and you said that you were sorry that your comments caused her more grief (response #3)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- at no point were you &lt;em&gt;intending&lt;/em&gt; to talk about yourself!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, on to answering the second potential question.  I wrote &quot;apparently-bungled&quot; on purpose.  Emotional people are almost never logical and when the height of emotion passes they are better able to reflect.  You have an advantage here: Facebook chats don't delete, so they aren't forgotten or mis-remembered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The end of your chat, though, ended the chat, so now you will need to open the door again.  This, too, is not a one-size-fits-all answer, so here are some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Happy New Year!  How are things over there?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hope you're doing well!  Hit me up when you've got time -- I'd love to hear what's new in your life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Just dropping a line to say that I love you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The primary idea: talk about something &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; than the last topic of conversation -- she'll bring that up &lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;when&lt;/em&gt; she wants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, there is the chance of a &quot;backfire&quot; where she asks, &quot;How could you have been so insensitive about 'Fluffy'?&quot;  The answer is always the truth:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am sorry.  I wanted to have the right words and tried to show how much I care, but it didn't go the way I hoped.  How are you now?  I'm here to listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, then, of course, do as you said: listen -- it's the best thing you'll ever say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T04:37:17.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14718" CreationDate="2016-01-01T10:22:55.263" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You may want to look up misophonia. This is where certain specific sounds trigger a &quot;fight or flight&quot; response and is completely involuntary. Could it also be possible that your laugh is particularly loud? Try work out how your laugh differs to those whose laughter doesn't bother your daughter (is it deeper, higher, etc). Hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20363" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T10:22:55.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23476" CreationDate="2016-01-01T16:18:36.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found with my 11 month old that that him and I didn't develop a bond until around 6 months. If your babies mother is biological, then there is a very deeply seeded bond between your son and her. There's really no way to compete with a bond like that, and it's my opinion that you shouldn't expect to come anywhere close.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trust me though, he's your son and you're his dad. Soon enough he's going to look up to you and love you like nothing you've ever experienced in life yet, assuming he's your first. To him, you'll wake up an hour early to go out and raise the sun for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my experience, the best way to bond is to feed him, and hold him close to you when you do. Holding him and rocking him until he falls asleep works well too. Finally, what seemed to really do it for me, was to try and be there the moment he wakes up from sleep/nap. Then when he begins to crawl and play, always make time to play with him, talk to him, and show him new things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never used any books, and went off instinct, and it has seemed to work for me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope my answer helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20365" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T16:18:36.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23476" CreationDate="2016-01-01T18:56:07.910" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing I've found works is simply have the baby around when you're doing things, and explain what you're doing. They don't really &lt;em&gt;understand&lt;/em&gt; at that age, but you can simply explain as if they did. So if you're cooking dinner:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Now, seesee jr, we're going to add some paprika. Daddy likes a bit more paprika than most people, so we're going to add a bit more on this bit.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;And we need to keep looking at it and make sure it doesn't burn, or mummy will be upset.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;So let's get the vegetables and chop them up. Now this is a sharp knife and your fingers are &lt;em&gt;incredibly tiny&lt;/em&gt;, so I'm just going to move you away a bit while I do this. Oh, don't look at me like that!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helps, because even if they're fussing, you're engaging with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T18:56:07.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23523" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-01T21:18:25.463" Score="4" ViewCount="714" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter recently had hip surgery and will be in a spica cast for the next six weeks.  She no longer fits her regular car seat, or any other car seat that does not cost $500 or so (and can't be tried out beforehand) - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We spoke for quite a while with the car seat people at the hospital and they basically said that what she needs is a booster or car seat with a high, deep base and no armrests.  I've looked everywhere I can think of online and can't find anything that matches that description.  In lieu of that she has to use a special vest that makes her lie down in the backseat strapped to the seat belts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone heard of a booster or car seat with a high, deep base and no armrests?  I've looked the usual places online (amazon.com, walmart.com) with no luck.  She is four and a half, 41 lbs and 41 inches tall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="645" LastEditorUserId="645" LastEditDate="2016-01-01T21:33:17.600" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T15:07:25.970" Title="Car/Booster seat for child in a spica cast?" Tags="|car-seat|medicine|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8824" CreationDate="2016-01-01T23:46:47.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;To those who think putting them back in diapers is the solution, does not work with mine.  To some wearing big boy underwear who cares, diapers are comfy. Finding other ways to undermine the strong will is better.  Ask which toilet he prefers to use as opposed to use this potty.  Some kids honestly cannot feel the mess when they are in disposable diapers.  Also like with mine it is a permission slip for accidents.  My solution is find a different child care with a different approach.  Use cloth underwear, make it boring underwear.  Make it loose underwear.  Might be the underwear is way too tight.  Might be underlying medical issues that are not uncovered.  Mine has IBS which when you gotta go you gotta go, not every 20 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20367" LastActivityDate="2016-01-01T23:46:47.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23526" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23527" CreationDate="2016-01-02T06:14:03.180" Score="11" ViewCount="2380" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 6 year old son and food time is often a struggle.   My son is not interested in food (and more enticing food seems to make very little difference), and is very easily distracted, making him a slow eater.  [A key concern is he is generally very slow to perform most tasks compared to his peer group.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One parent believes that if he is hungry he will eat, and thinks nothing of engaging him in conversation, and believes that if the child is hungry he will eat, and that learning to converse and interact at the table is important.  This parent is not the primary care giver and has less time to spend with the child  (but is part of the family unit and involved with the child’s upbringing, save that the child has a lot of activities and heavy homework requirements)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other parent has an expectation that there is to be no conversation with him (other than encouragement to eat) so that he will focus on eating.  This parent is of the strong opinion that if the kid does not eat a proper amount for every meal, on a structured timetable the kid will fall behind (growth wise, intelligence wise, discipline wise).   The child  normally more-or-less manages to eat to this timetable when not interrupted with distractions - although meal times are often unpleasant due to fighting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any accepted norms on how to handle a child who is simply not interested in food, and how important is it that a reluctant child is &quot;well fed&quot; every meal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20369" LastEditorUserId="9105" LastEditDate="2016-01-02T23:10:42.910" LastActivityDate="2016-01-03T17:03:35.763" Title="6 Year Old meal Time expectations" Tags="|eating|rules|mealtime|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23526" CreationDate="2016-01-02T11:42:36.500" Score="35" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;This parent is of the strong opinion that if the kid does not eat a proper amount for every meal, on a structured timetable the kid will fall behind (growth wise, intelligence wise, discipline wise).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply put, this parent is &lt;strong&gt;wrong&lt;/strong&gt;.  Pressuring children to eat is not only unnecessary, but &lt;em&gt;actively harmful&lt;/em&gt;: studies have shown that it leads children to both eat less as children (because they become averse to eating) &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; over-eat when they're older (because they don't know how to regulate themselves).  While not an exact duplicate, you'll likely find &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14023/should-i-really-be-insisting-that-my-daughter-finish-eating-her-meal/14031#14031&quot;&gt;this question and its answers&lt;/a&gt; useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The golden rule is, &lt;strong&gt;parents get to choose what to serve and when, kids get to choose what they eat and how much of it&lt;/strong&gt;.  Serve &quot;proper&quot; food and don't let them fill up on sugary snacks or whatever if they don't eat it, and they'll be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-01-02T11:42:36.500" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23530" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-03T06:52:16.047" Score="5" ViewCount="316" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is 2 months ++ old and wants to be held and carried around or they kick and yell. Cuddling them isn't sufficient, you need to be stood up and moving around. It's boring, tiring and makes you look like a lunatic if your neighbours notice!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm happy with the carrying but walking for a long period of time is rather tough. May I know how to encourage baby to be held/cuddled only and not walk around?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I carry him and sit down, he will kick his legs aggressively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20298" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-19T11:59:23.053" LastActivityDate="2019-07-19T11:59:23.053" Title="How do I settle a 2-month-old who wants to be carried all the time?" Tags="|infant|newborn|aggression|soothing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23532" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-03T14:24:58.147" Score="0" ViewCount="1000" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've had a look not just on here, but Google too, and there's nothing in particular recommending any shower gel or shampoo for younger children. Can most children just use adult shower products? Or should they be using something different?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is 5 years old, nearly 6, and we're now transitioning her from the bath to the shower. She's doing fine with it, but she's using Johnson's bedtime baby bath and baby shampoo, and we think it might be time for something a bit stronger. There doesn't seem to be anything for children past being babies, and we don't want to irritate her skin. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any good recommendations? Even if it's just 'use adult products' that would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20379" LastActivityDate="2016-04-10T19:25:48.493" Title="Good shower gel and shampoo for children to use" Tags="|cleaning|bathing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23533" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-03T14:40:14.140" Score="25" ViewCount="1121" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use a DIY motioning system (built with Raspberry Pi) to monitor our 2-year-old child while he plays in his own room, so we can have a dinner in the kitchen, study in the living room, and do other works with peace of mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't directly tell him (yet) he is being monitored, but we sometimes make remote conversations (from other rooms) like: &quot;Bravo! You've made a nice rainbow tower, do it again!&quot; and &quot;Don't put this in your mouth&quot;, and he responds nearly as if we were in the same room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess he learns something about our ability to see what he is doing without us being physically existing in the same room or even being visible to him (e.g. on a screen). But ideally, in the future, we hope he learns not to do harmful or &quot;bad things&quot; without monitoring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is the potential negative impact on toddlers/children behaviour and characters in later childhood if they know they are monitored by parents 'all the time' even when alone?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Should children be explicitly told they are monitored by parents (&quot;Look, we watch you through that camera&quot;), or just let them discover that?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At which age it becomes 'more harmful than useful' to monitor a child?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4904" LastActivityDate="2017-01-17T10:33:27.260" Title="Should we tell our children that we 'spy' on them? When should we stop 'spying' on them?" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23534" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-03T14:50:07.783" Score="7" ViewCount="2926" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since he was 8 years old, my son has liked to talk and behave nonsensically in front of me. He likes to act cute, or like a baby mimicking a cute voice, and pretending to be like a baby only to me. To others, he acts his age. When I talk to him seriously, he would say things like &amp;quot;I love you mama, you are awesome,&amp;quot; but never focus or respond to what I'm saying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also likes to hold and hug me. He likes to kiss me, even when I'm talking about serious stuff. I don't understand why, and I have talked to him since he was 8, but he's never changed, even though he says he will, and he doesn't seem to understand why I'm so upset and pissed off by his behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't seem to be able to hold a normal conversation with him. I get frustrated,   and resent him. I'm going crazy. I think he is trying to get my attention too much. He is too insecure, and fears I may abandon him even though I assure him I won't. It could also be because of the constant conflict at home. His father and I are divorced. He witnessed too much fighting at home. This could have affected him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is he behaving like this, and what can I do to encourage him to act his age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20381" LastEditorUserId="27744" LastEditDate="2021-02-11T14:38:35.723" LastActivityDate="2021-02-11T14:38:35.723" Title="Why does my son of 12 yo only talk and behave nonsense in front of me?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23494" CreationDate="2016-01-03T16:35:40.247" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of the academic studies conducted on this issue used samples of babies of 1-2 years old. Very few studies for newborns at 3 months old. For toddlers 1-2 years old, watching TV may have the following adverse (long-term) impacts.&#xA;1. Attention Problem.&#xA;2. Communication Problem. This relates to the amount of TV viewing and the types of programs watched. For example, watching Teletubbies leads to less vocabulary and lower expressive language scores. But there are also studies show that watching TV less than 2 hours per day does not have negative effect.&#xA;3. For older toddlers, some TV programs, such as Dora, may have positive effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting-checkpoint.com/questions/impacts-of-tv-on-infants-and-toddlers-what-studies-show&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Impacts of TV on Infants and Toddlers: What Research Shows the Misconception and Real Negative Impacts&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20167" LastActivityDate="2016-01-03T16:35:40.247" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23526" CreationDate="2016-01-03T17:03:35.763" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stop it, you're getting it all wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fighting with a child at any time is particularly bad. It is your behaviour that has led to this and you should stop it immediately (I'm assuming that as it's your son you are one of the parents mentioned here). Not talking about anything but eating at meals times is also very negative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is you that needs to change (whichever parent you are), not the child. Seriously. If he's hungry he will eat, and if he isn't then he will not. The human body &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; get into routines, but you can't force it to. And he will not suffer physically and mentally from not eating for a few days, but he will suffer for the rest of his life from growing up with traumatic mealtimes, and your relationship will suffer greatly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than eating at set times, why not leave out healthy nutritious snacks during the day and allow him to graze. Grazing is a far healthier form of diet anyway -- much better than force-feeding yourself when you're not hungry. If he fills up on nuts and berries and sunflower-seeds so much the better. Put fruit out in a bowl. Cut some carrots and put them near him while he's doing his homework. Leave strips of smoked-salmon on a plate in the fridge and allow him to help himself. Leave little ham sandwiches on a table near him, and always have water and juice available. He can grow up big and strong without overeating or fitting into your schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20383" LastActivityDate="2016-01-03T17:03:35.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23161" CreationDate="2016-01-03T18:16:23.907" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm in a similar situation, linguistically. The thing is, I have two, and can see the differences between them in this respect.&#xA;My eldest learnt both languages in parallel, the way you think &quot;should&quot; happen. My second has a much stronger first language, and is only now starting to speak short sentences in the second, though she has always understood all things said to her in that language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are really your son's only exposure to English, spend more time with him. I know that my girls will speak much more of language 2 after a day alone with me than after a day immersed in language 1.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't expect TV to do your work. It will help him understand, as he does now, but doesn't cause him to practice talking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try immersing him in English for a few days. If you can, take him to England (or Australia, or the US etc.). Once he sees there's a place where everyone speaks English, he'll have much more motivation to learn.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't force the issue. I had to learn that the hard way. Once you make it into a chore, that's how it will be. Don't force him, just keep speaking to him in English, and let him answer in Hebrew. He will eventually try to answer in English just to impress you, which is a much more powerful incentive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read lots of books in English. There are lots of excellent children's books in English, buy a few and read them to him often. I'm not sure this is the right place for recommendations, so I'll refrain for now.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of the above advice is stuff that I myself have done with my own family in a very similar situation. I hope it helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastEditorUserId="141" LastEditDate="2016-01-04T12:45:48.640" LastActivityDate="2016-01-04T12:45:48.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23518" CreationDate="2016-01-03T18:22:30.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let her wet herself a few times. Take lots of spare panties and trousers with you, and a bag for putting wet ones in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes a while, and she'll understand that when she wets herself it's no fun for anyone, and will gradually learn to control it and tell you when she needs to go to the toilet. &#xA;Fair warning from my experience, for the first couple of months she may not give you more than ten seconds worth of notice, so you may not make it to the public toilets on time. Grin and bear it is the only advice here, it gets better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the car seat, we just had a towel folded over four times, which would soak everything up and could be easily washed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Potty training was the top source of laundry for us for a while, and then they got it, and started going by themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="141" LastActivityDate="2016-01-03T18:22:30.987" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23476" CreationDate="2016-01-03T20:54:11.573" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing that helped me was wearing my babies (one at a time!) in a sling or other carrier. One advantage is that he gets to experience the world with you since your heads are at about the same height. A second is that he gets used to the fact that being with you gives him a choice about whether to look out into the world, in at you, or just rest. So it is very comfortable.  A third advantage (at least for us), I (father) could carry my kids much longer than my wife could. So there will be a time where you are the favored parent :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20388" LastActivityDate="2016-01-03T20:54:11.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23534" CreationDate="2016-01-03T23:32:25.237" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a number of problems here, and the reasons why they're happening is anyone's guess. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most obvious one you've already mentioned: maybe he's afraid of losing your love as he gets older. He might be certain (he probably remembers) you loved him when he was younger, and you fight now, so his solution is to act as he did when he was younger. It could be because of the divorce (may be proof in his eyes that love can be withdrawn), maybe because parents do fight more with their children once adolescence hits, and this is triggering some fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever the reason, it sounds like both of you can use help, because the patterns you're engaged in aren't helping either one of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's when therapy is called for. A family therapist deals with the effects of divorce and family discord on children and adults, and will ideally help you both to develop more positive behavior patterns.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the mean time, if you're having fights over his behavior, you might want to stop, and see what effect that has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;he doesn't seem to understand why I'm so upset and pissed off by his behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't make him change his behavior; you can only change your own. The result is deep frustration when we try to change someone we love and live with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any reaction to his behavior - even anger - may be better than none in your insecure son's eyes. The mantra is to reward good behavior (always respond positively to him when his behavior is less infantile), and don't reward the bad (simply ignoring him as much as possible when he acts like a baby.) Don't get angry, don't argue. Make sure to explain thoroughly to him the difference between ignoring his behavior and ignoring him; of disliking his behaviors and disliking him. This takes a lot of wisdom and patience, but it does help while you're waiting for more professional direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I'm sure you've done some of this already. But if you haven't tried a therapist, I strongly recommend that you do.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-01-03T23:32:25.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23161" CreationDate="2016-01-04T01:03:13.253" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter was four when we moved from France to the US. She quickly switched to speaking English and refused to speak French for several years, even though it was her mother tongue and we continued speaking to her in French. She eventually started speaking French again and returned to France for her university studies. Many of the other answers here offer great advice; I would add this: Be patient, learning a language is a lifelong process. Help your son form positive associations with speaking English. Make it a voice of love and happiness between you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19677" LastEditorUserId="19677" LastEditDate="2017-08-28T12:35:45.843" LastActivityDate="2017-08-28T12:35:45.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23161" CreationDate="2016-01-04T03:49:17.953" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in a similar situation as well - living in the United States, my first language is Russian, my wife's first language is English although she is fluent in Russian. We have nine children ages 1 through 16 and are fighting the battle of having them grow up with at least some knowledge of Russian. I think we've won it with our oldest. He fought my efforts to teach him Russian from a young age, but I never gave up. Finally I got him to read the Book of Mormon in Russian, which was excellent material of him because he was very familiar with the English text. I also had him read various Russian texts to me out loud when I took him places in a car. Around the age of 14 he made a breakthrough and eventually reached a level where he could have a conversation with a native Russian speaker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are still trying to get our other children to become conversational and are slowly making progress. It is no small challenge, but key, I think, is persistence. As you keep trying different things eventually you will find something that the child will respond it, and it is also important to remember that all children are different and might respond to different things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19449" LastActivityDate="2016-01-04T03:49:17.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23530" CreationDate="2016-01-04T07:19:57.370" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Look into &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babywearingadvice.co.uk/anatomy.htm&quot;&gt;babywearing&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been doing this with my daughter since she was born. Nothing is more easy for me or her. I can still use my hands and yet she can be close to me and follow around with what I'm doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with all things related to babies, it took some time to get used to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19769" LastActivityDate="2016-01-04T07:19:57.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23546" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-04T10:48:32.783" Score="0" ViewCount="195" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was two he started letting me know when he wanted to go to the potty. He then started nursery and went back to old ways of not letting me know. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's now three and I've taken him out of diapers however he still wont go. He will sit on the toilet but wont go until we've pulled his pants up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I encourage him to (1) Tell us when he needs to us the bathroom and (2) Go to the bathroom when he IS sitting on the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20398" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-01-05T11:31:05.020" LastActivityDate="2016-01-05T13:29:28.490" Title="My 3yr son wont tell me when he needs to go to the bathroom" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2016-01-07T13:17:18.363" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23503" CreationDate="2016-01-04T15:24:46.440" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like some people say, take him to a shelter and see how he reacts with animals...In addition to that, I will give an advice: if you decide to get a cat, choose a older one. Why? Older cats (more than 1 yo) have their character defined, if they say: &quot;he/she is very kind&quot;, it's 99.9% true. A kitty...yeah, they're stinking cute, but also a time bomb: you don't know how they will be in the future! Cats are like people, aaall different.&#xA;Good luck :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17522" LastActivityDate="2016-01-04T15:24:46.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23503" CreationDate="2016-01-04T23:11:49.667" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids are not autistic, so I don't have any experience to you here. I do, however, have quite a but experience with cats, and cats &amp;amp; my kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our cats have always been indoor cats, and in my mind they behave very similar to outdoors cats, or any cats not 'feral'. Even the barn kitty at the barn I board is very similar, she wants to be petted and purrs and runs away when scared. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My boys are 2 and 5, and quite energetic. They don't take the greatest care with their toys, they like to wrestle, and they sometimes struggle to use words and not their arms when disagreeing. &lt;strong&gt;They are sometimes rough with the cats&lt;/strong&gt;. The older cat just avoids them. We had him long before we had kids, and he has no patience for them and their noise. The kitten, which we got after the kids, are more patient, and will accept a lot more noise and energy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We do need to &lt;strong&gt;constantly remind the kids to be gentle&lt;/strong&gt; with the cats. They do want to pet them and hug and play with them, but sometimes they forget they can't pull their tails. They forget that if the cat doesn't want to play, he walks away. They forget that dangling the toys in front of the cat is better than on top of the cat... it is a lot easier for the 5 year old than the 2 year old to remember this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is all part of learning how to behave with animals. I have seen some kids who are naturally more gentle. I think you probably know if you kid will be gentle (autism or not), and if they will be able to learn to be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for a cat, a cat will walk away if not happy. A cat will also lash out if cornered. They take care of themselves, and I think that is good - but you have to be prepared that a scratch may happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do recommend a younger cat or kitten, so it can become used to your kid right away. I personally think an older cat only works with older kids or adults, but I know opinions on this wary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-01-04T23:11:49.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23550" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23557" CreationDate="2016-01-04T23:35:35.483" Score="11" ViewCount="1020" Body="&lt;p&gt;My sister-in-law has developed a habit both my wife and I find annoying: in order to try and get us to come to their house more often, she constantly pulls my son aside when they're leaving from a visit, and tells him to &quot;tell mommy and daddy to bring you to our house so you can see &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt;&quot; (where &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; has been, variously, &quot;our Christmas lights&quot;, &quot;my new car&quot;, &quot;our new puppy&quot;, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We both find this behavior manipulative, and it puts our son in the middle, since we then wind up having to tell him &quot;no&quot; more frequently than not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for why we say &quot;no&quot;... well, the full details aren't relevant, but their apartment is small, there's little for him to do aside from sit there and watch their TV (which is always on), and we want my mother-in-law to get out of the house as much as possible, since she's essentially a shut-in ever since she broke her arm, and was told she can't drive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister-in-law drives her over to our house for visits frequently, and we also meet them at local restaurants for dinner regularly.  In fact, we average seeing them at least once a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By contrast, we only see my own mother, who lives only 5 minutes further away by car, maybe once a month or so.  My son actually gets particularly excited to see my mother because, according to what he's said repeatedly, he doesn't get to see her very often (he's explicitly compared the frequency to his frequency of visits to my MIL, e.g. &quot;I get excited seeing Grandma and Grandpa, because I don't see them as often as I see Grandma and Aunt&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son, for reference, is 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How, if at all, should we handle this?  Should we say something to my SIL (who will, incidentally, burst into tears at virtually any criticism)?  Should we say something to my son?  Or should we just let it go?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-01-06T12:07:08.490" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T12:54:33.603" Title="How do we address other adults telling my son to ask us to bring him to their house?" Tags="|pre-schooler|communication|conflict|extended-family|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23551" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23556" CreationDate="2016-01-05T04:59:10.480" Score="2" ViewCount="792" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Child is 2.6 years old.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is winter here and taking the child to bathroom to wash her face with soap is difficult for me as well as her. Water can be warmed but clothes do get wet, hers as well as mine if I and she are not very careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, for past two days, I have been cleaning her face with the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.khadinatural.com/khadi-cucumber-aloevera-cleansing-milk-cream-with-sheabutter.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cleansing milk&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is an adult's product. Though this one does not have any harmful chemicals but still since it isn't a baby product so I am not sure whether I should continue using it on her or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, when can I stop using baby soap on her. I do use skin softening soap for myself. From what age can I use the same for her, as well as adult body and face lotions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20402" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-01-05T05:56:44.760" LastActivityDate="2023-09-01T06:59:05.657" Title="When can the child start using adult cosmetic products?" Tags="|toddler|age-appropriate|hygiene|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23550" CreationDate="2016-01-05T06:08:10.317" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Should we say something to my SIL (who will, incidentally, burst into tears at virtually any criticism)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it were me and if someone would have been bothering me like that, I would have spoken the truth, as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I request you not to tell our child to come to your house to see X&#xA;  because he gets excited and then he asks us to go to your house.&#xA;  Problem with this is that we may not always have the time, energy, or&#xA;  will to do as he says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And then, we have to say &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; to him which makes him sad, and in turn&#xA;  it makes us sad. Literally speaking, going where ever and when ever&#xA;  the child wants is not really feasible for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;That said, I'd like to stress that we'll come to your house whenever our  circumstances permit us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally speaking, I don't have enough energy to deal with other people's problems - specially those people who create problems for me (knowingly or unknowingly). After all, you can't please all the people all the time, so I often choose to please myself!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20402" LastActivityDate="2016-01-05T06:08:10.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23553" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-05T07:05:18.117" Score="0" ViewCount="1642" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year niece weighs 30kgs (66.13 lbs) and tall for her age (3 feet/91cm tall). Despite her weight she does not really eat much.. we we're advised that it's growth spurt. Is there a cause for concern? Is this normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20404" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-01-06T16:19:26.473" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T18:12:01.700" Title="Weight and Height for a 2 year old girl" Tags="|toddler|health|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3194" CreationDate="2016-01-05T07:20:57.333" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 4 month old twins and they've been sleeping about 10-12 hours a night since they were about 3 months old. Sometimes one will wake up around 3 or so either to eat or they were just uncomfortable and then they go right back to sleep. Worried me in the beginning and sometimes still does but they're ok. I just always check them. They were 5 weeks early and both over 6lbs at birth but they're growing like normal 4 month old babies their pediatrician said. Praise God. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20405" LastActivityDate="2016-01-05T07:20:57.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23546" CreationDate="2016-01-05T13:29:28.490" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell you will reward him with something (doesn't have to something big), for ever time he tells you that he needs to go to the toilet or sits on the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20212" LastActivityDate="2016-01-05T13:29:28.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23551" CreationDate="2016-01-05T15:30:43.203" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't see any problem using a natural product like cleansing milk on a child. Just remember if she gets it in her eyes it will sting which is why most people use baby products.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to make your own &quot;Face wipes&quot; to use on her that can be as natural as you want. It will also help with getting the clothes wet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you search for &quot;make your own makeup remover cloths&quot; there are lots of DIY recipes. Here is one option that I found quickly: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2011/09/if-youve-read-my-blog-lately.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2011/09/if-youve-read-my-blog-lately.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A quote from the article:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;For baby wipes: 4 cups warm water (one reader recommends DISTILLED    water to inhibit the growth of mold), 1-2 tablespoons Coconut Oil, and 1-2 squirts of baby wash. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The above mixture is poured over either paper towels (I suggest the half sheets) or those disposable cotton pads. Then store them in an air tight container like an empty wet wipe box or mason jar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2016-01-11T16:12:07.083" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T16:12:07.083" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23550" CreationDate="2016-01-05T18:45:13.200" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can address it with your son as it comes up. It may be possible to redirect (&quot;puppies are fun, let's get a book on puppies from the library soon!&quot;), promise a future visit (as long as you do plan on following through), or outright refuse (&quot;we'd all love to see Auntie Jane but we don't have time to go there today&quot;), depending on the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, that doesn't really get at the root cause, and you will be repeatedly dealing with new requests. There are a couple possibilities for why your sister-in-law is inviting visits via her nephew...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's possible that's how she relates to your son&lt;/strong&gt;, by discussing things she thinks he would enjoy to see. Puppies, holiday decorations, and so on are all pretty specific; I've certainly mentioned interesting activities or objects in my own home to children of friends and family, hoping they'd keep it in mind the next time they came over -- &quot;can we build the potato clock you talked about&quot; and &quot;can we make a pie like you said&quot; came out of my niece's mouth when she visited last week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would be the ideal scenario, because you can very easily discuss an accidental misunderstanding. Validate her interest in spending time with family, and look for a compromise that is going to work with everyone's needs and wants. Suggest she bring some of those neat things to you (if possible -- a puppy is portable, holiday decorations not so much), or simply ask her to be a little more careful with her phrasing. &quot;You'd love my new puppy, he's so cute&quot; is less of a demand than &quot;Tell your parents to bring you to see my new puppy!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's possible she's being passive aggressive.&lt;/strong&gt; You don't visit frequently enough; rather than bring that up directly, she gets him to ask for visits. Drawing kids into a dispute between adults is unfair, and ultimately will have negative impacts for everyone involved. Indeed, she's effectively teasing him (&quot;if your parents visited more, think of all the fun you could have!&quot;) with things he can't have, and forcing you to be the bad guys when you decline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is tougher to deal with, particularly as you note she doesn't deal well with criticism. (I have a relative who similarly manipulates my kids into things I have to refuse. On the plus side they no longer take my kids places without informing me, but Relative still hasn't learned to &lt;em&gt;just ask me&lt;/em&gt;... instead they now get a third party to tell the kids about a promised activity, involving additional people.) But regardless of how tough it will be, it should be handled for everybody's sake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Focus on the positive aspects of your extended family's relationship. You like that everybody gets together frequently, which is great. You're not trying to decrease contact, you're just uncomfortable with the way that invitation is being extended.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try not to get dragged into long-standing or larger disputes. If you're focused on the impact on your son of being stuck in the middle, and &lt;em&gt;stay&lt;/em&gt; focused on that, it may be solvable. Have a workable alternative to her current approach (&quot;ask us to come over, not your nephew&quot; or &quot;when talking about exciting new thing, don't merge it with an invite&quot;) so it's not just a complaint.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask about &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she wants you to come over to her house, to understand her motivation and hopefully come up with an agreeable solution or compromise. Does she like playing hostess? (Ask that the TV be turned off when you visit so everyone can focus on family!) Does she like showing off her stuff? (Ask her to bring pictures, or the puppy!) Is she tired of being your mom's chauffeur? (Offer to pick up Grandma for outings occasionally!) Is it a tedious long drive, or is the expense of gas a lot? (Plan to meet in the middle more often, or get a gas station gift card!) Does she just want to complain about something? (Listen and sympathize!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-01-05T18:45:13.200" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23550" CreationDate="2016-01-05T19:30:42.000" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As part of the tact of handling the situation, you could tell her you'd be glad to plan a visit on your way to somewhere else, or stop in to see the puppy/lights/car when you pick up your MiL for a trip to the restaurant. That would limit your time in the cramped apartment while giving your SiL an opportunity to show off the little whatevers she wants to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the real issue is not that you say no to your son's request a lot, it's really that it sets up your family for bad feelings. Your SiL is telling your son to do something that he subsequently receives disappointment from doing. In other words, you are rejecting his request when his aunt said it was something he was supposed to do, which is going to fundamentally put his loyalties in conflict -- which is why adults shouldn't use children as messengers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's possible, bring it up immediately after she pulls your son aside to sell him on something. Address her and not your son. Reject the request directly to her instead, before your son can ask you later. You can do this in a kind or tactful way, but that way you are bypassing your son and modeling the kind of behavior you expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastEditorUserId="1969" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T12:54:33.603" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T12:54:33.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23530" CreationDate="2016-01-05T22:27:41.787" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eldest did this, particularly at night.  I remember spending many nights pacing around the house carrying my little one to soothe her, only for her to get upset when I stopped.  Mine liked to be upright, with a gentle rocking motion and being able to stretch her legs (which I suspect is the main reason for the kicking when you stop.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There isn't a huge amount you can do about it and it's one of those movements that is hard to replicate.  Babywearing will help (I loved my cloth sling, it was fantastic) and if nothing else it will at least free up the use of your arms - but it's unlikely to do anything about the walking around because your gait (walk) clearly provides the right rocking motion for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give it another 8-10 weeks and things should change (things can change a huge amount from month to month or even week to week at this stage) without you having to do anything other than keep them clean, comfy, and fed - they will get to the rest on their schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2016-01-05T22:27:41.787" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23560" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23622" CreationDate="2016-01-05T23:25:43.787" Score="1" ViewCount="240" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 16 month old daughter is a great kid. She is active, social, goes to day care (part-time), happy kid. The primary issue that we have at this stage is her eating. She does not care about food much except for crackers, milk and other crunchy snacks. We try to distract her quite a bit during breakfast and dinner to get her to eat, but it does not help much. She won't budge. For the last one month, my wife has been playing rhymes and poems on youtube to distract and it does work, but I feel its probably the wrong approach. One she should not be having any screen time till 2 and two she really is not getting any connection to her food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we improve this situation? I guess it gets worse, because we both are working and are time bound on how much time we can spend in getting her to eat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20409" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T05:59:31.180" Title="How to get a 16 month old to eat?" Tags="|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23561" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24102" CreationDate="2016-01-06T01:30:19.803" Score="3" ViewCount="2182" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been living with my wife's family for a while both before and after the birth of my kid, and my mother-in-law feels like she is right about everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife is also a way of nagging what she thinks is right and I think it's very annoying when you they keep proving you wrong. Her grandma just pops in room in middle of night or early morning if baby start crying, which again in my opinion is very foolish and invading privacy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same issue is with her brothers too, they just keep on talking like my wife isn't taking care of the baby. Is the environment toxic or do they want to own the baby's life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel I don't have control of being the baby's dad and I am losing control. Hence the question, how to stop grandparents from being overprotective?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7778" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-02-26T12:00:42.023" LastActivityDate="2016-03-27T12:57:41.470" Title="How to stop grandparents from acting overprotective?" Tags="|infant|parents|conflict|grandparents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23563" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-06T02:44:37.377" Score="1" ViewCount="145" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 month baby boy is always sucking  on his thumb non stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it okay for him to do it while he's asleep? I try to take it away and he just wont let me.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Sometimes he makes him self sick so I am very careful watching over him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20411" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2016-01-06T05:13:56.387" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T02:13:21.753" Title="What to do about my infant who sucks his thumb constantly?" Tags="|infant|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23564" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-06T02:58:16.770" Score="4" ViewCount="1092" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6-year-old daughter. Today, my babysitter said that my child hit her teacher. She hit her in the mouth and didn't say sorry when the teacher asked her to say sorry. Then the teacher said she doesn't tell me anything anymore because I don't do anything, since my child comes back acting the same everyday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try my best! I don't believe in violence. I have a system of a calender I use with the letter p on it for when she misbehaves in school. I take away her favorite toy for a day for each bad thing she does. Once she talked back to her teacher I took away her toy. It's been a while since I heard anything from her teachers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like a bad parent. I don't see anything wrong with my child but she does not listen to me and she does what she wants. I constantly have to repeat myself to her for anything I ask her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20412" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-10T18:39:26.080" LastActivityDate="2018-11-10T18:39:26.080" Title="My 6-year-old daughter is hitting her teacher and talking back!" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|violence|teacher|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23563" CreationDate="2016-01-06T03:08:37.967" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think its OK let him because he needs to get over it before he is older. If he does it now he will get over wanting to do it in the future. I have seen adults do it because they never had the chance to do it as a child. It's a calming reaction you can also try putting a bobo pasifire but the really gummy one it could help the habit go away over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20412" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2016-01-20T02:13:21.753" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T02:13:21.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5195" CreationDate="2016-01-06T04:05:14.750" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 5 kids, my oldest is 14 my youngest is 4 years old, and every time they woke up with a nose bleed I knew that there air ways were  dry. The results of the allergy treatment Exedra. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I give them saline spray or drops: it moisturizes and flushes out mucus to clean little noses and it has not the side effects of drops or sprays with alcohol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20413" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2016-01-06T05:24:01.697" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T05:24:01.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2016-01-06T11:32:19.267" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 month old has been doing this since he was a couple of weeks old. If he's in a cradle hold when I'm sitting up or if we're side-lying during or after a feed, whether he's awake or asleep, whether he's feeding or not, he turns his face down toward the bed and kinda digs in, will often make a noise of frustration and then turn his face back up and then back down, very quickly and over and over until I settle him with some patting or caressing or he wakes up, usually crying. He's usually still tired when he wakes up, too. Initially, I thought it was his reflux and that he was getting ready to vomit or burp (because sometimes he would do one of those and settle himself again) but he doesn't do it in other positions when he's got wind. He does, however, do a similar nuzzling motion into my chest which is exactly the same except upright and his face turns 180 degrees and he does that when he's trying to soothe himself to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given the experiences shared by some of the other parents here, I think for my baby he does it when he's trying to get to sleep or when he's in a shallow sleep and feels himself waking because of wind and is trying prevent himself from waking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20415" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T03:37:11.500" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T03:37:11.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5195" CreationDate="2016-01-06T13:01:23.717" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;An older person that I'm quite close had this problem but in a very severe way. Not just in middle of the night. It could be just talking to me or sitting reading nothing extraneous and he used to bleed. He went to the doctor. The doctor told him it could come if you don't drink enough liquids. For this person he told to drink in the morning four glasses of water. He drinks it religiously everyday and gradually it stopped. Maybe this could help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20212" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T13:01:23.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23569" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-06T15:00:23.507" Score="4" ViewCount="1591" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a good amount of time now my daughter has had a hard time sleeping, whether it's at night or nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems as soon as it gets dark something triggers her to act up because she knows the bed-time routine is coming. As a result she won't get to bed until real late which results her waking up late and not taking a nap the next day. Yes, I could wake her up early but I need rest too from fighting her past midnight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she does take a nap she will almost every time wake up in a panic and screams and kicks. This will last for 30 to 45 minutes. It seems it just has to play out for it to be done with because I haven't found anything I can do to help the situation. When she is done she'll say she woke up scared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have looked online and confusional arousals is the only thing that matches up but nothing really says how to deal with it or why it happens. I am thinking of taking her to the doctor because sleep in general has been extremely difficult for her going on a couple months now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19861" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:15:49.923" Title="How to help 3 year old deal and stop confusional arousals when waking up" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23569" CreationDate="2016-01-06T15:49:32.773" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First - talk to your doctor, as you note.  Your pediatrician will be able to help answer your questions and guide you to find different options for helping address the root of your problem.  Before you do, spend a week or two writing down everything related to your daughter's sleep patterns in a diary - when bedtime starts, how long it takes, how it went, how long she slept, how she was feeling when she awoke, when she naps, etc.  That will give your pediatrician a lot of information to work with, and might help get a better solution.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second - it sounds like you're in a &quot;vicious cycle&quot; here.  Three is a common age for sleep problems; my first had significant problems around 2.5-3 and my second (33 months now) is starting to.  My advice is to find a way to break that cycle. I don't know if the issues with waking up are related to sleep (and think your doctor is the one to ask that of), but if you're having so much trouble with sleep it's very possible that fixing the bedtime/sleep issues will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say she's going to bed late and waking up late; find a way to shift that up a few hours if you can.  This might not be possible, and it's not a huge deal until she's going to school, but if you can shift it up a few hours, I would.  If she's getting enough sleep (ask your doctor about exactly how much, but typically 10 hours or so is common, though 12-14 is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;recommended&lt;/a&gt; at that age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, the main thing that helped us with our first was to pay attention to his daily cycles, and identify the sweet spot for bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children (like adults) don't want to go to bed when they're not tired, but differently from adults (some, anyway...) they also have a hard time with bedtime when they're overtired.  They lose the ability to control their behavior due to tiredness, and you end up with the goofy laughter, jumping on beds, running around the room, hitting mommy and daddy, etc.  Both undertired and overtired can lead to very difficult bedtimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, pay attention to identify when she's in between the two stages.  For our oldest, we originally tried bedtime at 7:30; he usually was undertired then.  We sometimes let it get a bit late - 9 or 9:30 - on days where we went to the library after dinner and such; he usually was overtired then.  Overall, we found that for him, 8:30 was the sweet spot; about 80% of bedtimes went smoothly when we started the routine then.  (This meant 10 hours of sleep, as he woke up 6:30-7:30 after falling asleep a bit after 9, plus naps.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other 20% we learned to identify days when they needed to be a bit earlier or later; this often coincided with days he either didn't nap, napped longer, or exerted himself more during the day.  And sometimes we have &quot;bad&quot; bedtimes still  - such is life, but at least it's now more like once every few weeks instead of every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's still consciously resisting bedtimes, changing a few things up may help.  Change how you handle toys in bed (allow a toy or two if you didn't before, or make it more of a game, or perhaps get a special new stuffed animal and talk to her about it being to help with bedtime).  Add some music into the routine if she likes music.  Change the order of what you do during the routine - PJs then Toothbrush then Potty then Books, or Potty then Book then PJ then Toothbrush then another book.  Whatever works to help her reset and get out of the vicious cycle you're in now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T15:49:32.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23518" CreationDate="2016-01-06T16:13:12.170" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 2 years and 4 months and completely dry even at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Couple of things we did&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lots of praise when she uses the potty.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ensure she's comfortable whenever she's going to the potty. We found this really really important. For example we sometimes left the room, talk to her about other things or got her a small book.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't dwell on the accidents.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to her and ensure see knows what to do i.e. Tell mum and dad.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Start with absorbent panties. These are panties with a cloth lining&#xA;that are extra absorbent. They will mostly absorb wees and contain poos. If you have used cloth nappies these are an obvious next step after nappies.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lots of bare bottom time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prompt/ask often.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Show her what to do i.e. keep the bathroom door open when you on the toilet. Whilst there answer any questions honestly or tell her what you're doing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When at home keep a potty close by, you may need potties in multiple rooms.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can get collapsible potties that have attachable disposable bags. These are very portable and (the one we have) can be placed on an adult toilet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20416" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T16:13:12.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23553" CreationDate="2016-01-06T16:19:01.527" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For weight, 30 kilograms is quite heavy for a 2 year old.  Per the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/data/set1clinical/cj41c022.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;cdc growth charts&lt;/a&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; @dave posted in comments, a two year old will typically be between 10 and 15 kilograms (20-35 pounds) (5%-95% range).  However, you need to take into account her height in determining what you'd expect her to weigh; for that you have weight-for-stature (weight-for-height) charts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the height you reported (3' or 91cm), the range is slightly higher (as she is indeed tall for her age); the typical range (5%-95%) is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/data/set1clinical/cj41c026.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;between 12 and 16 kilograms&lt;/a&gt;.  30 kilograms is off the linked chart; you'd expect a 30kg child to be more like 4' tall (125cm) or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So - no, it's not &quot;normal&quot;, based on the statistics.  Whether it's healthy is something the pediatrician would address.  If they're not concerned, then perhaps it's worth asking why?  Perhaps the measurements were provided incorrectly - maybe she's really 30 pounds for example, and her parents misheard/misunderstood the doctor. If she seems substantially heavier than other children her age (30kg would be &lt;em&gt;substantially&lt;/em&gt; heavier), and it's something that's worrying her parents, it's definitely something worth asking about - if nothing else just to find out why the pediatrician isn't worried. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[1] CDC growth charts are based on American children; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/Technical_report.pdf?ua=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WHO growth charts&lt;/a&gt; may show somewhat different results, although usually in the same ballpark.  Unfortunately they're much harder to read, so we tend to use CDC charts here.  For reference, the weight-for-height for girls in WHO shows slightly higher (5% or so) estimates than the CDC does, but not enough to change the details significantly above.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-01-06T18:12:01.700" LastActivityDate="2016-01-06T18:12:01.700" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23574" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-07T12:01:18.437" Score="5" ViewCount="270" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2 year old son and another baby on the way. I just recently found out I'm pregnant but not sure how far just yet. My son rammed into my stomach like he is always doing but this time it made me start having small pains in my stomach. I rushed to the bathroom to make sure there wasn't any bleeding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm concerned his rough play could hurt the fetus if it continues. How should I put a stop to it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20421" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T12:55:30.267" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:07:16.037" Title="How do I get a toddler to play more gently now that I'm pregnant again?" Tags="|toddler|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23574" CreationDate="2016-01-07T13:07:16.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's just running up very enthusiastically to give you a hug, then he really doesn't even know that he's causing any problems. Explain that it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; a problem, and show him a calmer/gentler way to approach you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are playing rough together (wrestling, jumping on you), then he's getting into the spirit of things just a little too much. Explain that playtime can still happen, but it needs to be calmer/gentler (and he needs to listen when somebody says &quot;stop, that's too rough&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you want to be open about the upcoming sibling, explain that he needs to stop because you're pregnant and you need him to be more gentle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It hurts me when you run into me like that, and you can also hurt the new baby that's growing. Please play more gently now that I'm pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you're not telling him yet for whatever reason, just leave pregnancy out of the discussion. That last impact did cause &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; pain even though the fetus was safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It hurts me when you run into me so hard. Please play more gently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he continues injuring you, put him in time-out every single time and explain exactly why (&quot;You can't play so rough. Take a break to calm down.&quot;) -- it shouldn't be long, just a minute. That's enough to convey that hurting his mom causes playtime to end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More importantly, always praise him when he does play gently and isn't rough. (&quot;Thanks for that careful hug!&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:07:16.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23569" CreationDate="2016-01-07T13:15:49.923" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she's screaming not long after she falls asleep, it could also be night terrors. If you believe it is parasomnia (night terrors or confusional arousal), you should consult your doctor to see if you need a sleep specialist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, I recommend that you &lt;strong&gt;start a sleep diary &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; you try changing anything&lt;/strong&gt;. This will help you report accurately if you decide to go to the doctor, and it will also help you see if there are patterns to the behavior that you might not have noticed. It doesn't need to be complicated. The first time I did one, I just recorded the times my boys fell asleep and when they woke up. You would want to add times when she has an episode.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you try it for a week and that doesn't give you enough information, you might increase the detail to include things that you suspect might be affecting her sleep. Here is an example of a really detailed one from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sleepforkids.org/pdf/SleepDiary.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sleep for Kids&lt;/a&gt;, which might give you some ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My littlest is 5. When he was 3, he started waking us up almost nightly, usually around 1AM. Sometimes he would tell us he'd had a nightmare. Sometimes he would stand in the doorway and stare vacantly. What worked best with him was changing our routine to take time to sit with him in the dark at bedtime and help him think up a happy thought to fall asleep with -- this has cut down his midnight nightmare wake ups and wanderings considerably. Maybe that would help you as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:15:49.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23518" CreationDate="2016-01-07T13:35:38.200" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried letting her &quot;go commando&quot; (wear no panties under her clothes)? This worked well with my son when we did bare bottom potty with him. We also made a point of finding the bathroom in every store and using it as soon as we got there and then again right before we left, with lots of praise for doing so well outside the home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T13:35:38.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23578" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-07T14:15:36.487" Score="5" ViewCount="15230" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our toddler is about 16 months old now, but the situation I’ll describe hasn’t changed much throughout the past half year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He won’t go to sleep at night (around 19:00) without having had his bottle of (watered down dairy) milk – or bottles: Usually he’s satisfied with 250–300 ml, but sometimes it’s up to triple that. &#xA;He still wakes up most nights and much of the time a sip of water (not milk like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/21102/should-toddlers-drink-milk-during-the-night&quot;&gt;this kid&lt;/a&gt;) will put him right back to sleep. He’s not been needing a pacifier for 3 months now (which actually improved his sleeping because he can’t lose it anymore). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, usually after 04:00 (or before his noon nap), he won’t stop crying before getting another bottle of milk, often he’ll be hand-signing “milk”, “drink” and “please” if not yet too agitated; afterwards he literally sleeps like a baby another 3 to 4 hours. &#xA;Even without this early-morning drink, even the best diapers won’t last a complete night. We change him before putting on his pyjamas, check at least once before our bedtime (between 22:00 and 24:00) and whenever he or his sibling wakes us at night, but still it’ll leak more nights than not. Luckily, he’ll often sleep through diaper changing. So we mostly tried what has been suggested for &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1746/how-do-we-avoid-leaky-diapers-at-night&quot;&gt;this younger child&lt;/a&gt; and was applicable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unlike &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18960/2-year-old-rarely-eats-food-needs-bottle-and-milk-and-drinks-a-lot-of-water&quot;&gt;this toddler&lt;/a&gt; he’s eating enough throughout the day (whether at home or daycare) and he’s got a belly like a beer-feasting tourist in Mallorca. At average height, he’s always been in the top percentiles weight-wise, almost 13 kg now. He also drinks enough at daytime. His total daily fluid intake is never less than a liter, but maybe not quite as much as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1306/is-my-15-month-old-drinking-too-much-fluids&quot;&gt;this child&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to have him sleep through the night non-thirsty and without diaper leakage? (Just letting him cry until exhaustion won’t work with neither his mother nor his sibling sleeping in the same room.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case anyone thinks it’s relevant: He had been breastfed until about month 7 (unlike &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18175/1-year-old-baby-wont-eat-in-day-drinks-milk-all-night&quot;&gt;this baby&lt;/a&gt;) and we stopped giving him formula around his first birthday. He accepted basically any mix ratio of formula, milk and water if it was the right temperature, now even accepts it straight from the fridge. &#xA;Unlike his older sibling, he never was a fan of any kind of porridge or blended food. &#xA;Until he actively learned that it can get him what he wants, he wasn’t much of a crier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14875" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2017-12-22T22:54:24.960" Title="Toddler drinking a lot before/during night, too much for one diaper" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bedtime|diaper|drinking|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23579" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23523" CreationDate="2016-01-07T14:46:36.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to work at an orthopedic children's hospital and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.especialneeds.com/special-needs-carseats-roosevelt-car-seat.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this is the car seat we would have to lend to families&lt;/a&gt;. Sadly, there aren't a lot of options aside from this and the vest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/BHNLG.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/BHNLG.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Insurance may cover part of it, but that is not usual. Some medical supply companies may have some to rent. You can also check other orthopedic hospitals, like Shriner's Hospital for Children, that my be able to lend or rent one out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a rehabilitation unit in the hospital, a therapist may be able to write a letter of medical necessity or help track down a special needs car seat for temporary use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1613" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-07T15:07:25.970" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T15:07:25.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23563" CreationDate="2016-01-07T21:00:18.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our doctors encourage it for our baby.  She has struggled with feeding problems and the one thing we don't want to do is discourage her from putting things into her mouth since we want to get her to put food in and eat it.  The thumb sucking at this age isn't a bad thing at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20343" LastActivityDate="2016-01-07T21:00:18.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2016-01-08T03:47:34.030" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like to look more at the idea of equality here, so when I hear that everyone is equal, that should include children. A minor should be allowed to do just about anything that all adults are allowed to do, provided that it's safe and not disruptive to their development. I don't think a simple word is detrimental to a child's well being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will admit that I am not a parent, nor do I intend to be. So I can only speak for those few times that I am given a bit of responsibility for a child (i.e. supervision, providing transportation, etc.). I will say that when I am spending time with my brother, now 15 years old, I don't care if he cusses. At all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I am around my nieces (ages 4, 4 and 2), I will calmly correct them, but only one time. After that, I will ignore it. I'm not the parent, so it's not really my issue to correct. I do mildly disapprove of it, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age do I think that profanity is acceptable? Personally, I feel that it depends on the child. My general guideline is that if you're old enough to learn about sex, you're old enough to cuss. By that age, a child should know not to be disrespectful, so that's no longer a teaching point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as offending someone, I won't even discuss that; if an adult is offended by a simple word, that's their problem. I have always said that my right to free speech is more important than someone else's fragile egotistical opinion, and if you don't like it, you have the option to turn around and walk away. So while the use of profanity may give off the impression of a lack of education, I find the overreaction to it rather problematic &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20425" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T03:47:34.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8995" CreationDate="2016-01-08T08:49:32.453" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 26 month old grandson is suffering with all the above symptoms today, and has been for 2 days now. It started with him coughing and throwing up during the night 2 weeks ago. That lasted 2 nights and stopped. He has been teething bad for several months, chewing on fists constantly.  He began throwing up again and having very lose stools 1 1/2 days ago. His cheeks are red (with no fever), rash on bottom that becomes very irritated and painful when he soils his diaper (unfortunately, he is not yet ready to potty train). l have tried everything on this rash with no luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is taking meds for the lose stool and the pain from the rash. I am now placing padded potty training pants on him and using Johnson's baby powder with soothing aloe &amp;amp; vitamin e, and pure cornstarch.Then I place the diaper over the training pants. This is working, gently absorbs moisture to keep skin dry and soft. Even when he soils his pants and diaper, he is not experiecing the pain of a diaper irritating the skin!  So, it is necessary to check his bottom frequently for accidents and change as needed. It requires more work, but it is relieving the pain in his red bottom! Hopefully this will all clear up very soon!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20427" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T08:49:32.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23584" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23588" CreationDate="2016-01-08T09:51:38.773" Score="5" ViewCount="662" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't make out who said this to her at daycare, and it doesn't matter since I don't have any control over the daycare people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddler is 2.6 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3 days back the toddler told me that there is a &quot;ghost&quot; behind you. Other room was dark, and she said, &quot;there is a ghost in that room too because it is dark&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I took the child to the dark room, took the lead and explored every point of that room to show her that there isn't any ghost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She agreed to me that day, but yesterday again she started mentioning that the ghost is in the dark room. Again, I took the child to the dark room, took the lead and explored every point of that room to show her that there isn't any ghost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still she kept on repeating the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not worried about the fear of dark. She had that fear before too. I am worried about the ghost part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fear hasn't yet set in. This is the time to act. &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;It has been just 3 days.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; How should I deal with the child &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;before the fear sets in completely&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. I think the answers of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5854/how-do-i-help-a-child-overcome-fear-of-ghosts&quot;&gt;How do I help a child overcome fear of ghosts?&lt;/a&gt; do not apply here since it has been just 3 days that she was told about ghosts at daycare. The fear hasn't &quot;set in&quot; completely yet, I think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20402" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T17:43:09.473" Title="The toddler is being frightened of ghosts at daycare. How should I deal with the child before the fear sets in completely?" Tags="|toddler|fears|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23578" CreationDate="2016-01-08T13:02:50.960" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a first step, don't water down his milk at bed time.  That's just giving him extra fluids without nutritional value that won't do much to make him feel full.  With straight milk, he will probably consume a bit more calories, but not so much fluid, giving him less need to pee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may also be a good idea to set a fixed amount you feed him every night. No guzzling down three bottles, just the one he's given.  This can also help standardize his bedtime routine, which ought to be helpful in other ways. If he wants more, comfort him but tell him firmly that he's had enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T13:02:50.960" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23586" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2016-01-08T13:28:08.500" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The word &quot;baby&quot; is very general, referring to a young human from birth up to a few years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The age-specific tags &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/newborn&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;newborn&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;newborn&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/infant&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;infant&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;infant&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;/questions/tagged/toddler&quot; class=&quot;post-tag&quot; title=&quot;show questions tagged &amp;#39;toddler&amp;#39;&quot; rel=&quot;tag&quot;&gt;toddler&lt;/a&gt; are often more appropriate. The answer to &quot;What can I feed a baby?&quot;, for example, changes significantly as the baby grows older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-08T13:28:08.500" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T13:28:08.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23587" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2016-01-08T13:28:08.500" Score="0" Body="A very young human, from birth until a few years old. Consider a more age-specific tag instead." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-08T13:28:08.500" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T13:28:08.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23584" CreationDate="2016-01-08T13:33:39.673" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my own experience, it seems that a toddler doesn't have a strong understanding of what a ghost is supposed to be (the spirit of a dead person). Rather, it's a term that can be applied to &quot;something that scares me&quot; -- picked up by hearing adults (or other children) use the word while talking about being scared. If a teacher mentions she is afraid of the dark because of a ghost in the room, a toddler can pick up on that very easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we were visiting family while work was being done on their roof, the shadows of the workmen could be seen on the nearby buildings (as well as random noises from the construction). My tween daughter told her toddler brother that they were scary ghosts. Rather than the game of pretend she expected, he got &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; scared and started hiding under the couches &quot;from the scary ghost.&quot; She'd given him a distinct term to use to personify the anxiety he experienced from unpredictable loud sounds and unnatural shadows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first I tried pointing out that ghosts aren't real. However, he could simply point at the moving shadows to &quot;prove&quot; to me that there were, obviously, ghosts around the building (and did so in an increasingly frustrated state, presumably wondering why I pretended to not see the &lt;em&gt;very obvious&lt;/em&gt; shadow-ghosts).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I made a game out of it. I'd say &quot;Aaaah, it's a ghost!&quot; and gasp and point at something. He would jump, and stare at where I was pointing. Then I'd say, &quot;Oh, no, it's just the cat&quot; (or &quot;the couch&quot;, &quot;the ceiling fan&quot;, &quot;Mommy&quot; -- or, eventually, &quot;the shadows of a worker on the roof&quot;). We  played for a few minutes, then started doing something else, but I came back to this game randomly over the next few days. When it was mixed into play, it helped him relax and even take the lead on &quot;scaring&quot; me with ghosts that he then explained were really Uncle John, a fuzzy pillow, or my purse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It showed that it's easy to be mistaken about what you're seeing; a glimpse of a moving cat might look unnatural or ghostly at first, but on second look it's clearly a familiar pet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's OK to be scared at first, as long as you take a moment to calm down, think about what you're actually seeing, and then even laugh about your mistake afterwards.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A &quot;ghost&quot; can be easily explained as an actual object. Even in a dark room, once we turn on the lights we can see that spooky shape was actually just a favorite toy, or a familiar lamp.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It can be fun to be a &lt;em&gt;little bit&lt;/em&gt; scared by something we know is imaginary, particularly when done in a safe space (with a parent) and followed up quickly by a reassurance that everything is fine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T13:33:39.673" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23589" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23591" CreationDate="2016-01-08T13:46:10.660" Score="3" ViewCount="866" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am uncle of a 7 month old girl. She seems really happy when my mother / her grandma interacts with her. But when I interact with her (try to play with her or put her on my arm), she often becomes visibly nervous, starts looking around for her parents and when she can't find them she starts to cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would really like to help my brother and his girlfriend by babysitting for them occasionally, but I don't feel comfortable with proposing this unless my niece appears comfortable with being alone with me. I also look forward to being a good uncle for her in her future childhood, so I would like to build a good relationship with her as early as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to get her to trust me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One factor could be that she gets far more exposure to my mother (1-2 times a week) than me (maybe every 2 weeks tops).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4659" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-11T17:21:00.870" LastActivityDate="2018-10-11T17:21:00.870" Title="How do I get my 7 month old niece to trust me?" Tags="|infant|crying|extended-family|babysitting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23590" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-08T13:52:12.857" Score="5" ViewCount="1220" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13 year old son has been smoking and selling weed for at least a year now, drinks whenever he can get any alcohol, and has been black-out drunk. He also smokes cigarettes and vapes. (He's also done acid once.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just what I know; he's most likely done much more than I don't know about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has shown signs of memory loss, is becoming increasingly forgetful, and is often very hostile and angry at home. I'm at my wit's end; I don't know what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice? Should I send him to a rehab of some sort? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20430" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-01-08T20:46:21.753" LastActivityDate="2017-04-30T20:05:54.693" Title="My 13 yo son has drug and alcohol issues. What should I do?" Tags="|discipline|teen|drugs|alcohol|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23589" CreationDate="2016-01-08T14:36:47.653" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some kids are outgoing.  Others, not so much.  Some get scared by facial hair.  Some &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k0fnTiKEMc&quot;&gt;get scared when it goes away&lt;/a&gt;.  I can't say for sure why your niece is nervous around you, but I can take a guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most likely, she just isn't familiar with you.  She sees grandma pretty often and isn't scared of her.  She's seen grandma be nice and loving.  I'd also wager that mom and dad were close by when she met grandma.  She probably gets nervous because you are new, she doesn't know what to do and mom and dad aren't around to let her know things are ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I would try to spend more time with her and your brother and his girlfriend.  If she knows mom and dad are there, she should feel more safe and can get to know you a bit better without being scared.  Play with her with her parents.  Do things with her and her parents together until she gets used to the idea of you being around.  Then try doing things with less parent interaction.  Play all together then have mom or dad or both stop playing.  They could be in the same room or leave entirely.  Eventually she will warm up to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2016-01-08T15:04:53.900" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T15:04:53.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23590" CreationDate="2016-01-08T20:39:34.070" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not going to be a complete answer, because you have not given much detail (what you've tried, how he gets the substances, how he's gotten around it and why, etc.) I'll modify the answer when additional information becomes available. I'll assume it's as bad as you say, and you've tried grounding, taking away privileges, etc., and nothing has worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 13, and he's on a pretty seriously life-threatening course (I'm concerned especially with the alcohol abuse, the blackouts, the illegality of his behavior, the quality of his life, and the life-threatening aspect of alcohol abuse. The marijuana use is concerning as well; but the alcohol abuse - and their combined use - is truly alarming.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any life threatening situation, get him to a &lt;em&gt;specialist&lt;/em&gt;. If he has not been in counseling, ask your pediatrician for the name of some adolescent therapists who deal in drugs and addiction, and make an appointment &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt;. While he's still young, you have some control over his movements and his environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to emphasize that you've got a limited amount of time in which to act here. A child becomes an adult at 18, and there's very little you can do after that to force change of any kind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start treatment in an outpatient setting. (You might benefit from some help as well, on how to best deal with the child's behavior, setting realistic boundaries and consequences, negotiating contracts, etc., so that you don't lose hope/feel at your wit's end.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you start treatment in an outpatient setting, if the you and the therapist feel outpatient therapy is working, great!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the therapist thinks a substance-abuse program might help, then send him to one. That's one option. That option will probably be covered by insurance as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if the therapist feels outpatient therapy isn't working - which is something to take very seriously - please &lt;em&gt;strongly&lt;/em&gt; consider a wilderness program. (Adolescent therapists and child psychiatrists dealing with drug-abuse will know some effective ones; if they don't, there are specialized consultants that can recommend the best program for your child - for a price.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;At-risk youth tend to be ill equipped to engage in traditional counseling interventions, which require them to be verbal and to disclose thoughts and feelings. Wilderness therapy, a specialized approach within adventure-based counseling, provides an alternative treatment modality that maximizes the client's tendency to spontaneously self-disclose in environments outside the counseling office.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not talking about the more familiar &quot;Outward Bound&quot; type programs, or sloppy programs thrown together to make a buck (where there has been teen-abuse and even some deaths); I'm referring to true wilderness therapy programs as discussed in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/09/therapy-wild.aspx&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; article from the American Psychological Association webpage discussing the rationale:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;That's because the wilderness is devoid of escape hatches: Hiding in one's room playing computer games is not an option. In addition, the longer stay helps break down defensive barriers, with young people typically going through an avoidance stage, a learning stage, and a stage in which they start to internalize healthier thinking and behavior patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting at-risk teens out of their home environment - where friends and social pressures may reinforce self-destructive behaviors - is a potent tool, one you can still use in your child's teens. Once he moves out or turns 18, you have no such ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in the US, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) &lt;a href=&quot;https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/locator/home&quot;&gt;webpage&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline&quot;&gt;hotline&lt;/a&gt; can also be a source of good information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/09/therapy-wild.aspx&quot;&gt;Therapy gone wild&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://amhcajournal.org/doi/abs/10.17744/mehc.29.4.c6121j162j143178&quot;&gt;Wilderness Therapy as a Treatment Modality for At-Risk Youth: A Primer for Mental Health Counselors&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-01-08T20:58:12.553" LastActivityDate="2016-01-08T20:58:12.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11422" CreationDate="2016-01-09T08:12:17.760" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has just turned 12, but at the age of 11 he was making noodles, pizza, fish, chips, etc. on our flavour chef, an electric cooker appliance. If I'm out he can have something warm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20434" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-01-09T23:06:26.000" LastActivityDate="2016-01-09T23:06:26.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23590" CreationDate="2016-01-09T16:03:28.287" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a 13 year old kid with drug and alcohol problems. I am now 21 and in the receiving process. It was hard for me because my mother was lenient and my father wouldn't have anything to do with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This indeed is an extremely tough topic. First it comes from who he is around. Peer pressure is either horrible or very good. His mind set and point of view are also very important. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking him to talk to someone may not work because since this has been going on for awhile now he may be passive to the situation. Right now he is probably thinking he and it is cool. Drugs are extremely powerful and will make everything in life not important. Even sitting him down and showing him the research and the causes and effects may not make that much of an impression on him. I remember how I was and no matter what you would say, I would just laugh. But I do agree with sitting down with him and talking to him as if he was an adult since he wants to mess around with adult things. Ask him if he wants help or if there is anything he would like you to do because you don't want him going down this road, let alone this early. But before you do, do your research on the drugs you know he is doing. But you have to get him before be gets addicted because there isn't an end until he hits rock bottom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question also has to do with the family morals and how you feel about certain drugs. I was talking to my boyfriend who is our daughters dad and he said he would sit her down, ask her what drugs she's into and take her to see what the drugs do to you. Talking to him only goes so far but showing him will make a big impression. No matter where you live, drugs are everywhere and are easy to find and see their effects. He is old enough to see the ugly side of it, and don't spare him. You can call treatment facilities or police stations and ask if he can sit down with someone that is going through it. Hell, I'd even drive to the bad side of town to show him how people live while on drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our family, pot was never bad and some family members are making a career out of growing and selling it (in states its legal in, of course). If I were to pick anything for my daughter to do, it'd be pot and then I would go from there. Kids are kids and I wouldn't be SO worried about the hallucinogens and pot but the alcohol and hard drugs like cocaine, heroin and meth are the ones you have to worry about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and welcome to the long road of drugs, sorry to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19861" LastActivityDate="2016-01-09T16:03:28.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23599" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-09T20:22:28.840" Score="13" ViewCount="680" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mother is expected to die within coming days/weaks/months (final phase of cancer).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have an 11 year old sister - how can I help her? What would be a good idea to suggest to my father and older sister to do in that situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 11 year old sister knows about situation (she was told as illness progressed about general situation, including that mother will likely die in the near future), she also recently was in the hospital.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4955/how-to-prepare-children-for-impending-death-of-a-parent&quot;&gt;How to prepare children for impending death of a parent?&lt;/a&gt; is a similar question and I used it as a base, but it is about pre schooler, with death expected within years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20438" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-01-13T14:06:04.637" Title="How to prepare children for impending death of a parent?" Tags="|primary-schooler|death|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23601" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-10T04:28:31.150" Score="1" ViewCount="237" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old daughter &quot;played doctor&quot; with her cousin, who was only a few months older than her at the time. I didn't know what was going on, I just figured they found something quiet to do, but later I found her laying naked from the waist down on his bed. I picked her up, dressed her and questioned the other kids in the room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It began when she went to the bathroom and he watched her sit down. From there it progressed to him showing her how he pees and it moved to her examining him, and once she touched and looked, he did the same to her, which I was somewhat OK with. I figured it was fine until the one little girl said he did the same to her, so then I started thinking it's happening too often and he needs to let the girls close the bathroom door. But I let her go back to playing, told her to keep her pants and panties on and told him to not touch her again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I went back out to finish talking to the adults and brought up the incident to his mother who blew it off. Then my friend's daughter came out panties around her ankles and bleeding: he had pushed a crayon in her hard enough to tear her hymen, making her bleed and feel pain. When we asked him about it he said he wanted to see where it goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His father isn't in the picture (his mother is a lesbian) and he said I told him not to do it with my daughter, so for a moment I looked like the bad guy until I explained I said for him to not touch my daughter and let her potty with the door closed alone. After the little girl got checked, the doctor said she is fine and no damage was done besides her partially torn hymen, the pain will subside in a day or two. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Needless to say my daughter doesn't play with him anymore at my house or his. Did I overreact to the situation or am I correct for not letting him around?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20433" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-01T23:00:46.810" LastActivityDate="2018-09-01T23:00:46.810" Title="What to do when my 4-year-old daughter &quot;plays doctor&quot; with her cousin of almost the same age?" Tags="|pre-schooler|play|sex|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2016-01-10T18:47:38.180" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23602" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-10T23:30:50.000" Score="-1" ViewCount="2475" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 14 year old son, who keeps insisting on joining martial arts, but I believe that he is too old to join martial arts at this age and that it will be harder for him to learn from this point forward so my question is, what martial art is suggested that he should join at this age?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20447" LastEditorUserId="20447" LastEditDate="2016-01-11T14:23:26.847" LastActivityDate="2016-01-12T11:01:30.460" Title="What martial art should a 14 year old male join" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ClosedDate="2016-01-12T14:20:54.597" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23534" CreationDate="2016-01-11T07:08:51.440" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have the feeling that inscribing him and yourself in an improvisation  theatre course might be benefitial to both you and him. What you described just makes me remember a time in my life when everything was too heavy for me and the only way to make sense in life was being like a kid. luckly I ended up living in a city called Berlin, where everybody is behaving childish, and this did me unbelievable amounts of good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe if you both do the improvisation course, he will have a free environment where he can let all of his need to act flow freely, and you will be in an environment which enables you to watch it with a proper mindset. After some time, it could be  that his need to act will be satisfied, and he won't need to bring this behaviour to his daily life anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There were times in life where I wanted to behave differently with people so I could test alternative personalities in me, but I knew that some people would get annoyed with me, so I just inscribed myself in  a improvisation theater course and it worked wonders on me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be sure that he does an improvisation course and not a standard one, because otherwise he will just have to follow some scripts and he won't have the chance of being behaving like what his creativity is ordering him to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also something called theather (or acting) therapy which could be helpful too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T07:08:51.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23604" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23610" CreationDate="2016-01-11T08:14:29.863" Score="3" ViewCount="1076" Body="&lt;p&gt;She passes urine once in 2 hours. She does drink 1 or 2 sips of warm water when I ask her during the day time. Usually I have to run behind her for the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She does drink some water with lunch and dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to to ensure that she intakes more water?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This question is specifically about winters. In summers there is no such problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20402" LastEditorUserId="13777" LastEditDate="2016-01-14T18:09:54.630" LastActivityDate="2016-01-14T18:09:54.630" Title="How to make the 2.6 year old toddler drink more water in winters?" Tags="|toddler|water|drinking|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23606" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-11T10:49:08.660" Score="7" ViewCount="1092" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have neighbours who have a son and daughter a similar age to my son (10) and daughter (7). The daughters get on well but my son finds the boisterous boy too much. I would like to be able to tell my neighbour (the parent - who is quite sensitive) my son doesn't want to play OR help my son deal with it and go and play somehow (preferably). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I type this I wonder if the right solution is to coach my son to deal with it himself by asking his &quot;friend&quot; to treat him differently (during a play around their house, for example). If it ends in an altercation then that should be easy to manage as they then overtly don't get on! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thoughts on that approach or any others gratefully received!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1789" LastEditorUserId="1789" LastEditDate="2017-05-15T16:56:26.697" LastActivityDate="2017-05-15T16:56:26.697" Title="My son doesn't want to play with a boisterous neighbour. What do I say and do?" Tags="|friends|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23606" CreationDate="2016-01-11T10:59:52.160" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a bit of the same issue. The idea is to not burn any bridges: kid at this age change fast and this annoying little boy can become a friend for life. So I would try to let both meet for a few short activities where the boisterousness is not emphasised too much. And wait and see.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T10:59:52.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23608" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-11T13:44:33.707" Score="6" ViewCount="459" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have 3 year old daughter Olivia. She is lovely and very sweet at normal times. She goes to daycare everyday and am happy in the daycare with her friends. However, here comes with her problem. Her personality seems very different from others in my opinion. She is very demanding. Sometimes she insisted something very consistently. If my wife and I don't satisfy her, she will cry and crash for very long time. We don't know how to distract her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, this just happened this morning. She finished her breakfast in the morning and my wife wanted to take her to the daycare. She insisted that she wanted to play for another two minutes and then go. OK, my wife agreed. But after 2 minutes she asked for another 7 minutes. My wife knew her personality and again agreed. After 7 minutes she still requested more time and said she didn't want to go to daycare today again and again. Of course my wife can't convince her. When my wife was trying to force her to get dressed, she became out of control. She cried, fell on the ground, took off the pants and socks, and became like totally out of control. Eventually my wife used her strength and carried her to the car and sent her to the daycare. You can imagine the process was really out of control and my daughter cried with sharp scream. Finally when my daughter got to the daycare and saw her friends and teachers, she became a little calmed down. I would guess she will have a good day in daycare. But these types of stuff has happened several times a week and now becomes a routine for her life. I want to check your opinion. When she is happy and normal, she can be very lovely and adorable. But when she can't get what she wants and we can't distract her, things become out of control and drive us crazy. Is it common or a little bit uncommon to a 3 year old girl? Or I should make appoint with mental health care professional for help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you very much for your advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20450" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T19:10:26.897" Title="My 3 year old daughter sometimes out of control!" Tags="|toddler|girls|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23609" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23602" CreationDate="2016-01-11T16:05:15.687" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on personal experience (my self and my two sons), I suggest Judo over Karate and other martial arts.  Both are good for self-defense.  Judo is a better workout.  Judo is less likely to maim or kill a friend.  Judo has more of a cognitive component as there are many different moves, especially in mat work.  The people who go in for Judo tend to be nicer than than the people who go in for Karate.  When your son gets older, he might want to study a more lethal martial art for even better self-defense. Your son is not too old to start learning a martial art.  Many people start later than age 14. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T16:05:15.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23604" CreationDate="2016-01-11T16:10:26.410" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is normal that she drinks less water in winter time. Is it not the same for you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But about your problem -&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;try using some children water bottles (with her favorite character) and leave it so she can easily access it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;add some frozen berries or slice of lemon or orange to glass of water&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;use a straw&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old likes to drink a lot if she can drink it from some new kind of bottle or cup or glass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20451" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T16:10:26.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23611" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-11T17:37:24.083" Score="14" ViewCount="82949" Body="&lt;p&gt;Due to some recent findings of something, I'm really worried my niece is being sexually abused. I honestly think she is in some sort of &quot;relationship&quot; with someone that she loves and trusts and doesn't know that it's wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I brought up the things I found with her parents and everyone is just at a loss as to how to handle it. We all know that someone needs to talk to her and find out if there is something going on and her parents are going to talk to her doctor to get her in counseling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to stomach the fact that if someone is abusing her, it's most likely someone we all know and trust. I'm scared she won't be honest, because she thinks that it's okay and likes it and doesn't want to get anyone in trouble. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Is it possible that she could be enjoying being molested not knowing that it's wrong?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20452" LastEditorUserId="17388" LastEditDate="2017-12-05T15:22:25.417" LastActivityDate="2018-05-27T00:41:49.717" Title="Is it possible for an 8 year girl to be sexually abused and enjoy it?" Tags="|sex|abuse|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23604" CreationDate="2016-01-11T17:53:25.580" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Correcting a child has a very strong component of &quot;choosing your battles.&quot;  If you try to control every little thing in their life, when they reach teen-age years and start questioning their parents, they will be a lot more likely to rebel against every bit of your authority.  If you choose your battles and only correct when really necessary, they will be a lot more likely to see your correction as the loving care that we parents normally mean it to be.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;As far as drinking, the body has a tremendous way of letting us know when it needs more fluids - thirst.  Let your daughter experience that.  Unless you have specific reasons to believe that she is dehydrated or that she could become dehydrated, let her come to you and say &quot;mom I'm thirsty&quot;, and then you can provide what she needs.  If however, you see signs of dehydration, &lt;strong&gt;then&lt;/strong&gt; you should address it (I have listed those below).  Or if you are in an environment where it could be easy to become dehydrated quickly (hot dry day outside, with lots of activity), then you could encourage her to take water regularly to prevent dehydration.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;The fact that she is passing urine every two hours should tell you that she is getting plenty liquids, by far.  A child at that age can go that much or even three or four hours without using the potty.  I would only be concerned and make them drink if they get beyond 3 hours, and even then, I'd be looking at other things - their eyes, their skin, and their energy and activity level.&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Signs of Dehydration, &lt;a href=&quot;http://kidshealth.org/parent/firstaid_safe/emergencies/dehydration.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;from Kidshealth.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dry or sticky mouth&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;few or no tears when crying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;eyes that look sunken into the head&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;soft spot (fontanelle) on top of baby's head that looks&#xA;sunken&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lack of urine or wet diapers for 6 to 8 hours in an infant (or&#xA;only a very small amount of dark yellow urine)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lack of urine for 12 hours in an older child (or only a very&#xA;small amount of dark yellow urine)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dry, cool skin&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;lethargy or irritability&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fatigue or dizziness in an older child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T17:53:25.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23608" CreationDate="2016-01-11T19:10:26.897" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are giving her too much control and now shes basically in charge here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of letting her have 5 more minutes... 5 more minutes... 5 more minutes...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Approach her with a warning that you are going to leave (or change activity). &quot;Ok honey in 10 minutes we are going to put on our coat to go to day care.&quot; Then in 5 minutes &quot;5 more minutes until we go to day care..&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those two warnings are her 5 more minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the time comes &quot;Ok time to put on your coat. Your toys will be here for you later.&quot; and that's it. If she tantrums, let her. If need be you can attempt a distraction try letting her choose something, &quot;Do you want to wear you red sweater to daycare or your green one today?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't give her choices about things that must happen. She must stop playing and go to day care - but let her choose on non important issues, i.e. Red or green sweater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she tantrums or refuses to choose, pick a sweater and dress her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will only put up a fight for a little while. If you are very consistent with &quot;We have to leave in X minutes&quot; and you make her leave, then it no longer becomes negotiable. Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. This behavior seems pretty normal for a 3 year old. I don't think she needs a mental health care professional, just some consistent discipline. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T19:10:26.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23611" CreationDate="2016-01-11T21:20:13.017" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm tempted to answer &quot;Yes.&quot;, but that would be totally misleading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the long answer, because we need to examine the mechanisms that are at work in such cases:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we think abuse, we often imagine the &lt;em&gt;mysterious stranger&lt;/em&gt; that snags little boys and girls and does unmentionable cruel things to them. And yes, these cases happen. But:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The majority of all child abuse crimes are committed by people these children know, love and trust.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;They happen in the family circle, at friends, at school, sports, youth groups, church,..., in short, places where children and perpetrators interact and know each other.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Before any physical boundaries are crossed, the perpetrator usually  builds trust by giving extra attention and care and filling emotional gaps that are there. This relationship is turned into something &quot;special&quot;, &quot;precious&quot; and often &quot;secret&quot;. The process is called &quot;&lt;em&gt;grooming&lt;/em&gt;&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boundaries are typically crossed in many tiny steps - a touch here and there first - and as it's done by someone they not only know but trust, it's &quot;normal&quot; or at least &quot;ok-ish&quot;, especially if it's &quot;their special secret&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So back to my original answer: Yes, it is possible that a child &quot;enjoys&quot; the abuse, not necessarily the sexual part (although physical stimulation can produce pleasurable feelings), but the being percieved, getting attention or other emotional needs filled. Also, not every form of abuse is physically painful, so at the moment not as easy to recognize as inappropriate by the child or the parents - but deeply wrong nevertheless, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You (or more precisely: the parents) should definitively investigate further and don't hesitate to get professional help.&lt;/strong&gt; Children can compartmentalize and &quot;forget&quot; or &quot;ignore&quot; the &quot;bad things&quot;, but in later years, that abuse is likely to come back and haunt her in one way or another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2016-01-11T21:42:05.653" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T21:42:05.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8995" CreationDate="2016-01-11T21:22:16.480" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming your kid has no allergies related to coconuts, here's a natural remedy that works well for us:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://homeremediesforlife.com/coconut-oil-for-diaper-rash/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://homeremediesforlife.com/coconut-oil-for-diaper-rash/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just normal coconut oil. Slather it on every change, after baths, etc. Cleared things up well for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The diaper free thing can help, but we always did it outside in the back yard where a mess would be easily handled. We also live in the hot desert so it was easier to ensure comfort while doing the diaper free thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I have never heard of teething causing rashes, but it is possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-01-11T21:22:16.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23619" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-12T02:52:21.880" Score="4" ViewCount="273" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-week-old son tries to fit his fist up his nose (that's what it looks like). He makes a fist and forcefully pushes it toward his nose or just to the sides or under, shaking his head and making a grunting / growling sound. It is quite funny to watch. I've started to wonder what the heck he is actually trying to do...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20455" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-04T13:59:15.750" LastActivityDate="2019-09-04T13:59:15.750" Title="Why does my 8-week-old son try to fit his fist up his nose?" Tags="|behavior|newborn|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23620" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23619" CreationDate="2016-01-12T08:18:01.310" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is getting used to moving his arms and exploring the world. Some handy advice can be found &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/baby-behavior.aspx&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.secretsofbabybehavior.com/2009/10/babies-development-from-6-to-8-weeks.html&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19769" LastActivityDate="2016-01-12T08:18:01.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23602" CreationDate="2016-01-12T11:01:30.460" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is no reason to choose one over the other based on what you have listed in your question. Martial arts that require a high level of flexibility (such as Capoeira) might be tricky if your son doesn't currently have high flexibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, most martial arts focus on control and discipline, at least until higher levels, and can cope with entry at any age from very young to senior citizens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I, myself, practiced Judo, Shotokan Karate, Shukokai Karate and Kuk Sool Won, and my kids have practiced Aikido and Tae Kwon Do - and the simple fact is none of them are more or less strenuous. That will depend on the class. All are approachable at any age (although I find Shotokan not so good for me now, as the deep stance causes my knees to ache)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My opinion - let him join one, but check out the instructor and class first to see how it is run. Some classes are more welcoming than others; some instructors cope better with adults, and some with kids etc;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will give him discipline, core strength, flexibility, and even a level of self confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-01-12T11:01:30.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23622" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23560" CreationDate="2016-01-12T12:12:34.177" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something that I find helps is a structured dinner time. Always eat dinner at the table, together as a family, at the same time. This way the child knows what to expect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as others have mentioned, I find it helpful to always feed the child the same food as us adults. Usually, I'll give her smaller portions and I will cut it up for her. Also, I'll usually include one extra item that I know she likes. Then I place the food in front of her and tell her to eat as much as she wants and that's all I say. No coaxing, cajoling, or anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first day or two it was the same routine, but eventually hunger sets in and she started eating. I think giving the whole thing less attention helps: children are always seeking attention and will get it however they can. Eating is a natural part of life, though, so it shouldn't be something we have to &quot;teach&quot; them. It will come naturally, a d they will stop acting out once they stop getting the attention they desire by not eating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2346" LastActivityDate="2016-01-12T12:12:34.177" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23611" CreationDate="2016-01-12T15:09:02.287" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;For two years, I was in charge of my organization's child safety policy, and saw more cases than I ever should have seen, in a lifetime.  My soul is burned.  But that experience taught me that yes, children that age, and a lot younger can enjoy being molested.  I saw a child as young as 5 acting out in self stimulation because of the things she had gone through.  That is not to say that the damage is any less, on the contrary, that only makes it worse.  The child still deals with the shame and guilt and inability to speak about what was done to them, and it is compounded by the shame they feel over any pleasure they may have felt.  They do not understand that their bodies are wired for that pleasure and that this is not something they can control.  Yet another piece of control and innocence that the abuser forcefully steals from the child.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;My blood boils just thinking about it.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;However, there must be more to a reply than just answering your question.  And that more depends on what this &quot;something&quot; is that causes you to suspect abuse?  Best case scenario, you are being paranoid.  Worst case scenario, I dread to say it, but again, I must, she is being abused by her father, and you telling her parents does not help, but makes things worse.  The necessary additional reply to your question can be anything from relax, that &quot;something&quot; does happen sometimes and might just need some counseling which her parents will get her, to go straight to the authorities, this needs to be investigated by those trained to do so.  But it all depends on what is causing you to suspect.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Two more things - first, in the organization i worked in, 90% of child sexual abuse cases were perpetrated by married, well educated men.  In the general population, 90% of offenders are known to their victims, and almost 50% are family members &lt;a href=&quot;http://meganslaw.ca.gov/facts.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;(link)&lt;/a&gt;.  And second, depending on what you saw, that causes you to suspect, you may be required by law to report it to authorities, and for a good reason.  Too much child abuse goes undealt with because people who have no training, knowledge, and who are biased to trust family members, think they can deal with it themselves.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I strongly urge you to go to a counselor yourself, someone who does not know the family.  In the confidence of the counseling relationship, share exactly what you saw, thought and did.  Then if the counselor tells you to go to authorities, do not hesitate to do so.  He/she may be required to do so as well, based on your report to him/her, but that is a good thing that is intended to and will protect your niece, if it is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2016-01-20T16:57:34.530" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T16:57:34.530" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23611" CreationDate="2016-01-12T16:52:36.850" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Physically - Yes.&#xA;Mentally - No!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience (foster parent - seen this way too much, unfortunately), kids this age know that this isn't right.  Physically, they might enjoy the stimulation - it's a natural response - but that actually tends to make the experience worse emotionally and mentally for the child.  People who do this to kids typically go through a &quot;grooming&quot; process, starting out slow, becoming a friend, then moving on to small touches that they can convince the child are innocent, such that by the time things are fully developed, the child is convinced the situation is all their fault.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These kids typically don't tell, because they feel guilty for what is happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why didn't I tell earlier?  If I tell now, after so long, everyone will be mad at me.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't want them to get in trouble, they are nice to me the rest of the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This is my fault because I was too tempting (common excuse perps give the victim)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They only do this because they love me SOOOO much.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;And if they did receive any physical pleasure, &quot;I must be a bad person since I enjoyed it.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/grooming-dynamic-of-csa&quot;&gt;The Grooming Dynamic - describes the grooming process and effects on children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2016-01-12T16:52:36.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23560" CreationDate="2016-01-13T00:17:14.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A lot of kids that age regress in what they want to eat.  She'll be fine.  Also, kids go through growth spurts where they want to eat more, your kid might just be out of one of those, and the new normal is lower than you are used to.  Just keep on offering a variety of healthy foods, she'll get what she needs.  It's a phase that will pass.  (My pediatrician just told us this at out 15 month appointment)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-01-13T00:17:14.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23560" CreationDate="2016-01-13T06:44:36.687" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;1: Avoid food fights&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As they say&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids are pretty powerless over their parents, but there are two domains where they rapidly discover that they &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; have power: eating, and sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the more you care (and show it), the more power they have. &lt;sub&gt;(It can be useful to do a bit of self-examination to discover if it maybe &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; about power for you too: depending on how you were brought-up you may have very strict 'principles' about food and obedience which might merit a rethink).&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is why wesanyer's suggestion is good: routine, sitting down together, and you just get on with your thing. Now the mealtime is no longer about her, it's about all of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;2: Sometimes it's staying still that's the problem, not eating&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the toddler stage, their main interest in life is moving and discovering. Just sitting down eating is boring. So engage in conversation, talk about stuff and don't sweat it too much (at that age) about staying at the table until she's finished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;3: They won't die of hunger&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Human bodies are amazingly efficient. You'd be amazed how little you can get by on, and a child's little body even more so. Balance and discovery is more important than quantity. I think that it's Brazelton who suggests setting out a variety of different bite-sized finger-foods on their plate and letting them choose what they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T05:59:31.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23604" CreationDate="2016-01-13T11:14:54.747" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3 year old doesn't drink a lot either, also not in summer time. This has worried us in the past. My advice: do not worry too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important thing is to look for signs of dehydration like others say here and to always provide access to water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We always provide access to water by putting a water bottle on the coffee table and make sure we have a bottle when we go out. Kids will drink accordingly to their needs. When we eat (breakfast, lunch and dinner) we always give a cup of water. If she didn't drink during dinner we will persuade her to drink before leaving the table (&quot;How many years are you? 3. Then you have to take 3 sips&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes she will say she's thirsty and will suddenly drink a full cup or more at once. I think she is caching up then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During summer time we are more careful and watch for red cheeks (or full red face) which is an easy to spot sign besides the long list posted here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13777" LastEditorUserId="13777" LastEditDate="2016-01-14T13:49:05.753" LastActivityDate="2016-01-14T13:49:05.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8995" CreationDate="2016-01-13T13:03:23.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had a very bad case of diarrhea a few months back that had her bottom so raw it was weeping.  With none of the regular diaper creams helping, her doctor recommended Calmoseptine.  This is available in the incontinence section at the drugstore.  It is thick enough it actually sticks to the skin, so it can provide some protection even when the skin is already raw.  A couple of days on this cleared her right up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2016-01-13T13:03:23.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23599" CreationDate="2016-01-13T14:06:04.637" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;My dad died 3 years ago from cancer, I was 24 at the time. Let me first say that it sucks, and I feel for you, but you don't need to be told that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was lucky in a sense, because my mother-in-law (I got married a week after he passed away; it was a busy time in my life!) also lost her dad early in life, and she helped me figure out what &lt;strong&gt;I&lt;/strong&gt; needed to do. Obviously this situation is a little different, but bear with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main thing you lose when you lose a parent is a person to ask questions, and a person to tell things. The telling you need to do yourself - if you're not a family that finds saying &quot;I love you&quot; easy (like mine was), give yourself a run up to this as it takes time but needs doing! There might be things your sister has always wanted to say to your mother - embarrassing things, personal things, confessions (of guilt or love!) - she needs to say as many of them as she can, because anything you don't say will prey on your mind forever. Trust me on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The asking if something you (and probably more your elder sister) can do on her behalf. There are things that we ask our parents as we grow up - what was I like as a child, what were &lt;strong&gt;YOU&lt;/strong&gt; like as a teenager, what did you like to do when you were my age, why are boys (or girls, I'm not making heteronormative assumptions!) so goddamn frustrating sometimes... a lot of these questions aren't things an 11-year old child is going to think about, so making a &quot;Mom-FAQ&quot; of sorts for when she grows up will be useful. That answer you linked to makes reference to video diaries etc. etc. Memories are really important. I would talk to your mother about it as well, ask her whether there's anything she would like to store for her when she's older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know these are tough things to ask, and there's likely to be a lot of crying involved at least at first (if there hasn't already), because doing stuff like this forces you to face up to the limited time you have left, but I guess in a way that's good unto itself because it stops you being in denial. I know I was for a very long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know most of this relates more to the &quot;after she's gone&quot; help than preparing her for the death itself, but if I'm honest there's not a huge amount you can do. The death of someone close to you is a world-shattering experience. You get through it, eventually, but it fundamentally changes the way you look at the world. I cry every time I watch a film where someone loses a parent, no matter how briefly the characters have existed. There are adverts on TV that I have to leave the room for now because they cut too close to the bone. I miss my dad so much, and I get through it by remembering all the good times I had with him, but nothing really could have prepared me for how it's changed my life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just... be there for her. Try and get the answers she might want, talk to her about her mother, don't let it become the elephant in the room. You will all be stressed, you will all get tense, you will all be dealing with more grief than anyone should ever have to, and you are going to snap at each other, and be mean, and take things out on each other unfairly. It's just the way it is. You fill a room with upset people and it's hard not to have a fight every now and then. She may not understand what's going on to the same level as the rest of you, but she's going to be affected by that in different ways - she won't have the luxury of knowing &lt;strong&gt;why&lt;/strong&gt;. It's going to be up to the rest of you try try and keep the ship as steady as possible - don't rely on your father or your elder sister to do it, it's going to need everyone old enough to understand working together. Apologise when you need to, don't let your emotions bottle up, help your little sister talk about things so that she doesn't do it either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's it, really. There's not much more I can say. Everyone is different, so you could find that none of this really applies to you, just do your best not to lose relationships with anyone else in the process, that's the important thing. The best way you can help your sister is by making sure she'll always have a family. Hopefully something in there is useful! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20091" LastActivityDate="2016-01-13T14:06:04.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23635" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23637" CreationDate="2016-01-14T10:48:16.320" Score="3" ViewCount="23298" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has thrown up a lot 2 days ago from 6pm-3am,  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;6am she was fed 9oz at once (not my choice),&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she threw all of it up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;fed her less pedialite at a time, around 10am she threw up again, a&#xA;lot, including yellowish stuff&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;took her to doc, doc said it's stomach virus but should be ok soon&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she didnt eat anything for 3 hours, then we started giving her 1&lt;br&gt;&#xA;tablespoon, then 2 tablespoons, then 1oz every 5-10 mins. She also&#xA;had a few naps and was feeling better.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;to sleep easier she was breastfed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;at 5am today she threw up again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has tears and her lips are fine so she is hydrated well enough. She's not peeing much but has liquid diarrhea. Also temperature has been normal throughout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should we continue to breastfeed?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are we doing anything wrong?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am a little scared since this is 2nd day and she threw up (first time since yesterday 10am).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20488" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-06T18:08:03.657" LastActivityDate="2018-12-06T18:08:03.657" Title="What to do if a breastfeeding toddler vomits?" Tags="|toddler|breastfeeding|vomiting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23636" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-14T11:04:34.973" Score="5" ViewCount="272" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I both grew up bilingual. For her it was Russian and&#xA;Ukrainan, for me German and Italian. We live in a German-speaking country and we&#xA;speak German to each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our child was born 8 months ago, we decided that my wife would&#xA;speak Russian to him whereas I would speak German.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason for picking German over Italian is that it has always&#xA;been my primary language, even more so over the last 15 years, whereas I'm merely using&#xA;Italian to talk to my parents which seldom requires a particularly&#xA;sophisticated way of expressing myself. The consequence is that my&#xA;Italian vocabulary, and with it the spoken flow, has suffered&#xA;quite a bit. I did not want to teach my son a rather mediocrely spoken language as his main language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I more and more feel sorry for eventually missing the chance&#xA;of at least giving him a basic feel and understanding of the Italian&#xA;language. Now I am struggling with how I would go about it. I don't think that&#xA;deliberatly switching between the two languages would do him any&#xA;favor. I have heard about the technique of using a language&#xA;situation-driven, however, I don't know which situations would be&#xA;appropriate or would qualify in order to implement this method consistently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my question: Keeping in mind that my wife speaks Russian to our&#xA;boy, how would I go about teaching him both German and Italian (with&#xA;a stronger emphasis on German) without creating too much of a&#xA;confusion for him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20489" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T13:16:54.217" Title="How can parents teach more than two languages to their child without confusing him?" Tags="|language-development|teaching|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23635" CreationDate="2016-01-14T13:27:26.713" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming that your doctor hasn't instructed otherwise:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as she isn't throwing up immediately, every time she takes even a few sips, yes, continue breastfeeding.  It will likely be helpful to feed smaller amounts more often until she is feeling better.  And as always, if worried, call your doctor for advice.  Having actually examined your daughter, he'd be the most reliable resource.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The below link has a lot of information regarding vomiting in small children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/childhood-illnesses/vomiting&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to Handle Child Vomiting - Ask Dr. Sears&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing to remember is &lt;strong&gt;DON’T PANIC&lt;/strong&gt;.  Child vomiting is usually not dangerous and only rarely results in significant dehydration. Keep in mind it usually takes at least 12 hours of severe vomiting to make a child significantly dehydrated. These guidelines should help you get your child through the vomiting stage of his illness:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;First stage – severe vomiting every 5 – 30 minutes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;During this time, do not attempt to give your child any food or&#xA;liquids at all because they will just come right back up. This is&#xA;called total bowel rest. Let the worst of the vomiting pass. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your child asks to nurse or drink something, then just offer&#xA;small sips at a time, and don’t expect him to keep it down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Second stage – vomiting has started to slow down to every one or two hours&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go ahead and offer your child small sips of liquids every 5 or 10&#xA;minutes. Here are the three best liquids to try:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Oral electrolyte solution such as Pedialyte has the best balance of&#xA;salt, sugar, and other electrolytes&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Frozen Popsicle or slushy made from an electrolyte solution&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breastmilk is excellent for the nursing baby&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A few other suggestions until you can get an electrolyte solution:&#xA;White grape juice or slushy slightly diluted with water. Gatorade or&#xA;similar drink. Again, these are not as ideal, and should be replaced&#xA;with Pedialyte when possible.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Liquids NOT to give – apple, pear, and cherry juice may have too much&#xA;sugar. This can worsen diarrhea and dehydration.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Third stage – vomiting is now only 2 – 4 times a day or stopped altogether&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is now okay to try some foods.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bland foods such as crackers, toast, soup broth, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continue breastfeeding.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Restart formula if formula feeding. You can mix half formula and half&#xA;Pedialyte at first. This may be more easily tolerated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continue liquids as described above.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don’t be alarmed if your child throws up this food. It may be too&#xA;soon to start feeding again. Just take a step back to the second&#xA;stage until the vomiting calms down again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2016-01-14T13:27:26.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23638" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-14T20:31:50.237" Score="3" ViewCount="5352" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son turned two in October. He's known all his letter since about fourteen-fifteen months. Also learned small numbers around then. He knew a bunch of sight words before he could speak. He used signs before then. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, at around 27 months he has started to sound out words. He can read a little bit, but most of his struggle is with telling where words end and begin. He can subtract one from any number under five, and add one or two to any number under ten. He can count by tens, and count up to 100 objects. He can count backwards from ten. He is obsessed with science. Particularly astronomy and physics. He listened to me read a hard fact book about Jupiter for a half hour today. He told me almost 100 times today that all 8 planets circle the sun, and that they are all very far away, very far distance.  He knows them all, even a few of Jupiter's moon's. Yesterday I told him a moon was a body that revolved around a planet, asteroid, or a dwarf planet, and he yelled, &quot;dwarf planets like Pluto, charon!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He watches some dry lectures on space, and math and he freaks out while he watches them. Like he does flips and stands on his head and jumps around, like my friends two year old when she watches yo gabba gabba. He just can't hold still while he's learning, the kid is pure energy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try hard to get him to do stuff that isn't learning, like pretend play. He loves to make everything talk to each other, and tell stories. He pretty much talks non stop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So going at this rate, what would preschool be like for him? I want him to go for the social skills it provides, but there are no play based preschools here. He doesn't see other kids much, but he does play well with others. Although he tends to get overexcited and can't contain himself. That usually leads to trouble without a break from the activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I keep him home for another year and just start him in kindergarten? Or try preschool? Do I tell them about him first? Has anyone had experienced with this? We are also considering homeschooling. Could he get enough from homeschooling?  I'm just doing whatever he asks typically now. He picked out the Jupiter book from the library. He rarely reads fiction anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20493" LastActivityDate="2022-10-04T04:03:59.280" Title="Is my two year old gifted? what should we do about preschool?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|homeschooling|gifted|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23638" CreationDate="2016-01-14T20:44:28.410" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you've got a bright child there, and it's good that you're thinking about these things early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting school ahead (i.e., starting kindergarten at 4 instead of 5) is something that is controversial, and it's unclear on what the right answer is.  If it's something you're thinking about, I encourage you to do your own research on the matter.  There are benefits (avoiding 'boredom', catering more appropriately to the child's abilities) and drawbacks (being physically and emotionally immature).  There is no clear-cut answer, and it's something you'll have to decide for yourself, in conjunction with the resources available to you - particularly the school administrators, counselors, and if extant the gifted program there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as right now, it sounds like you're giving him a great education already. Preschool is certainly a good choice, and one thing you can consider there is one of the variants of self-paced preschools, like a Montessori school.  At a Montessori, for example, children of several ages are mixed together (3-6 in ours), and do activities at their own pace - with little to no expectation of a particular age being appropriate for a particular activity.  They also help each other learn the activities, which can be a great way to build leadership and social skills even while within a classroom environment.  My oldest is probably gifted or close to it, and he's definitely benefiting from this model of schooling; we'll be sad to leave it when he starts public school next year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise - I would encourage you to keep broadening his horizons.  It's great that he's interested in planets, for example; keep pushing those boundaries and finding him more things to be interested in.  Science, history, geography; or even things like cooking, crafts, art - all things his mind can be exposed to.  He's young enough that exposing him to all of this will help not only develop important skills, but also help him figure out what he's interested in as he grows up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-01-14T20:44:28.410" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23638" CreationDate="2016-01-15T00:46:14.907" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Might I suggest not placing a child into school early.  Supplement his education with extra-curricular activities by all means, but in my experience, doing well at school depends on having a certain level of maturity rather than being purely dependant on intellectual ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, in English classes in my final year at school, I had to write a series of essays at the end of the year. I thought that they were very good at the time, my best work in fact, but still received poor marks, only just passing, and was unable to understand why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had been placed in school as early as legally possible, since I was also a bright child and an early reader.  When I re-read the essays one year later, I couldn't believe that I had submitted such juvenile tripe, and only then fully understood what my teacher had been looking for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, my teacher had been expecting a certain level of maturity, and wasn't considering age differences across the year.  Had my parents delayed enrolling me in school one year, I may have done much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard that there are studies showing that the oldest children in a class tend to fare best, so delaying enrolling your child as long as possible might be wise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note - early reading can be an indicator of Asperger's syndrome, so finding some pre-school social activities for this child may be valuable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13318" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T00:46:14.907" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23638" CreationDate="2016-01-15T01:29:59.527" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will suggest what we do here in India for bright children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) put him in summer school for small kids&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) take him to zoo, museums, ancient places (like forts) , puppet show etc. Tell small stories around it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) importantly, tell him lots and lots of bedtime stories/tales from history, mythology, religion, scientists, mathematicians repackaged as small kids tales. One example of such book in india is &quot;panchtantra&quot;. It is a ancient story book (3rd century BC) for small kids with small life lessons involved, for kids.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panchatantra&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panchatantra&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;you may get its english version or lots of similar books from your country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its important that you read the story yourself, and then tell later him as bedtime without the book around. Do not let him read the story book himself, for some time now (just my opinion)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Story, story, story - you need to repackage everything as story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) most important, is socializing of kid with other kids, real physical play (running around, playing with soft ball etc). Do not indulge in the board games etc for now.&#xA;It is very important that his father needs to devout few hours regularly for physical play(like any ball game, mock kid-boxing) with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) keep the TV(cartoon shows), tablets,smart phones away from him for now. If you can not then atleast allow it only on alternate days for limited hour. &#xA;We need to protect the mental imagination of children, esp. bright children - from the onsalught of too much of cartoon shows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6) Talk to him as much you can. Listen his made up stories with atention as much you can&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;7) Introduce kid level(easy level) &quot;meditation&quot; to him after six months or a year. there are lots of techniques for meditation. I will suggest &quot;sudarshan kriya technique&quot; from 'Art of Living', its a very easy breathing technique. This will slowly add up as self control and focus in later life, which is very important for bright kids, as many of them later get defocussed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All these small things will add up a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20499" LastEditorUserId="20499" LastEditDate="2016-01-15T02:23:33.133" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T02:23:33.133" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23646" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-15T08:31:49.927" Score="9" ViewCount="1511" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is about to turn 2 and is getting to the stage where he has strong feelings over what he does and doesn't want to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the issues we have is with clothing. I'm happy to give him some limited choice about what he wears but sometimes he doesn't want to wear a sweater when I or his Dad feel he should or he doesn't want to wear a hat or gloves on a cold day. He understands that if he's cold, wearing warm clothes will make him feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm keen to encourage him to learn from his own experience as much as possible but he's still very small and I'm not sure at what age he should be able to make some reasonable decisions about how much warm clothing he needs to wear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not going to do anything extreme like let him out in a T-shirt when it's freezing outside but for more minor situations, when should I start to let him take some responsibility for this kind of thing? For example, the other day, he didn't want to wear his gloves so I didn't force him to but then I felt his hands and they were cold. He knows that gloves would have made his hands warmer so I can only assume that he didn't mind having cold hands. Also, he often doesn't want to wear a sweater in the house on a cold morning. Should we be allowing him to make decisions on this kind of thing, within reason, or should we still be deciding what's best?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T18:06:34.217" Title="At what age can a child be responsible for deciding whether to wear warm clothes?" Tags="|toddler|clothes|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23646" CreationDate="2016-01-15T10:29:40.123" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is entirely up to you. I allowed my kids to choose their clothing from a very early age, but to cover off the particular after issue around cold weather, if they decided not to wear gloves or a hat etc and I thought they would be necessary, I'd take them along with me so that when they got cold they could ask for them, and I'd suggest that next time they brought them along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good thing is that this has led to my kids being mostly weather indifferent (they typically have gone out in the snow or rain in shorts when they want) but also they know that if that is uncomfortable for them they should take warmer clothes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the eldest two are teenagers, they are starting to wear clothes their peer group wear, but are more than happy to choose something entirely different with little challenge from their parents, as they know it is up to them.&#xA;In summary - let them choose; it is good for independence and responsibility; but initially take along gloves/hats etc just to be a 'safety net' in case they haven't quite understood the weather.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T10:29:40.123" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23650" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23651" CreationDate="2016-01-15T14:25:18.097" Score="52" ViewCount="49624" Body="&lt;p&gt;It was cute and funny at first that both of us were being called Mommy, and I still don't really mind.  My wife and I laugh and try to correct him, pointing to pictures, ourselves and repeating the correct words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 21m toddler is just starting to talk, so it's probably normal to be confused a bit, but this confusion is really starting to solidify; I got home from work last night and my boy's face lite up and he repeatedly exclaimed &quot;MOMMY!&quot; several times pointing to me and gibbering to my wife, seemingly explaining to her that I was home.  The word Mommy is now more for me than my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone heard of something like this?  Maybe we set him on the wrong track by laughing at the confusion in the beginning; he probably liked the reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastActivityDate="2019-06-29T08:30:57.717" Title="My toddler calls me &quot;Mommy&quot;, but I'm his father" Tags="|toddler|speech|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="23" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-15T14:55:38.837" Score="63" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (similar age) calls both me and his mum &quot;Daddy&quot;. He also has a habit of calling all animals Cows or Sheep. Like Erica says in the comment, it's pretty standard. They've learnt a single word which at the moment means &quot;Parent/Adult/Someone that's not Me&quot;. As they learn more words they can elaborate on the distinction. Just reinforce the difference patiently (&quot;No, I'm your daddy! &lt;em&gt;That's&lt;/em&gt; your mommy&quot;, while smiling) and he'll get there eventually!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best example I've ever seen was my nephew, who had learnt that his Grandparents' Dog's name was Pippa. He then called every dog Pippa. When he was told that a particular dog was not Pippa (&quot;That's not Pippa, that's Rufus!&quot;, for instance), he would then call the other dog &quot;Not-Pippa&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20091" LastEditorUserId="20090" LastEditDate="2016-01-19T10:27:17.000" LastActivityDate="2016-01-19T10:27:17.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19650" CreationDate="2016-01-15T14:57:53.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If my son isn't settling down and there's enough commotion to warrant checking in on him, I'll go in the room and pretend to do something else (look in drawers, move stuff around).  He always stops crying as soon as I enter, but he doesn't immediately get my attention.  I think that gives him a moment to calm down on his own, to realize we have things to do.  To realize he's not the center of the house (he &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; the center to my wife and I, but we can't let him know that!!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually I'll turn to him and act surprised that he's still awake, and then tuck him in again and maybe wait a while with him, without saying anything or touching him (just like Chris Sunami mentioned).  I Let him hear slow breathing; slow in, relaxed out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't like to stay until he's completely asleep, otherwise I'll always have to.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T14:57:53.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23653" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23663" CreationDate="2016-01-15T15:17:25.330" Score="3" ViewCount="579" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a professional writer, fiction actually, and I submit regularly to other Stack&amp;nbsp;Exchange sites. I live in the Chicago area and have two kids, 6 and 8.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's my problem: Our district's grammar textbook is essentially, not too surprisingly, &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chicago_Manual_of_Style&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Chicago Manual of Style&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. Of note, the textbook advocates use of the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_comma&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Oxford comma&lt;/a&gt; [the second comma in &quot;I like the colors red, white, and blue&quot;] and the use of one space after a period rather than two. This is the expectation in high school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are in grammar school. As a school, there is no pattern of usage, and my attempts at intervention have been met with blank stares. What's worse, my eight-year-old's teacher's husband is a sportswriter and vehemently disagrees--even after I pointed out the reference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps I'm a little oversensitive to the issue because of my profession, but my argument is it's like telling the kids, &quot;Well, 1 + 1= 3, but we just say that it's 2 for convention.&quot; Again, my complaint is based on the textbook my district uses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2016-01-16T02:46:34.623" LastActivityDate="2016-01-16T02:46:34.623" Title="Best way to promote proper grammar usage in school (and of course I started with the teacher!)" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23646" CreationDate="2016-01-15T15:38:56.267" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think I would differentiate between &quot;Warm clothes&quot; and the often-uncomfortable outside layer (gloves, hats, scarves, coats).  Warm non-outerwear is harder to change later; warm outerwear is easier.  Since kids at that age have a hard time planning for future difficulty, I tend to give more flexibility with the outerwear than the non-outerwear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us, 4 and 2, we largely require our children to wear long sleeve shirts, long pants, and when below freezing a second layer below that (long underwear or cotton PJs).  This is for the purpose of setting them up to be warm, regardless of their choices beyond that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, when it comes to outerwear, we largely encourage them to choose - go outside and feel, etc.  We certainly bring along the entire outerwear set, but if they don't feel like gloves right then, that's fine.  Since they have a warm base layer, we're not worried about them being &quot;too cold&quot;, and they have a great degree of independence. And they're used to the base layers, so the only question we get in the morning is &quot;Daddy, how cold is it outside?&quot;, and when I say &quot;28&quot;, they know to put on two layers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they're a bit older we'll give them that choice as well - our oldest runs 'warmer' and our youngest 'cooler', so they'll probably make slightly different choices even for the base layer; but at 4 and 2 they're not old enough to understand and plan for long-term effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T15:38:56.267" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23657" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23653" CreationDate="2016-01-15T17:06:23.780" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teachers have to make a judgement call on what has a good enough time/reward ratio. Getting everyone spelling well with mostly good sentence structure is far more important than whether they correctly understand the usage of the Oxford Comma, and if you took the time to teach the latter, it would cut into the time available to teach the former.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I'd bite my tongue for now, and teach it to your kids using examples and counter examples when you feel they're old enough to understand, but make sure they don't try and call the teacher out on it. Just let it slide and correct it yourself. Teachers have a hard enough job as it is! As long as they don't mark its usage as incorrect, then there isn't enough of a problem to make it worth chasing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20091" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-01-15T18:48:53.177" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T18:48:53.177" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-15T17:23:05.090" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is no big deal, and you shouldn't sweat it.  My daughter is almost 2 1/2 and calls her aunt &quot;Uncle Meghan,&quot; and everyone thinks it's hilarious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of my kids have gone through the same as yours, and I cemented the fact that my name was not &quot;Mommy&quot; by jokingly saying, &quot;I-AIN'T-CHE-MAMA!&quot; -- which evokes laughter and slowly brings the point home as they get older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now they mostly only do it by accident (probably because my wife is a stay-at-home mom and spends a lot more time with them), and they tend to correct themselves mid-word by saying &quot;Ma-Daddy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, my wife often refers to me by my first name around them when she is talking to me directly or calling for me, so my now-4-year-old picked up a habit of trying to call me &quot;Jamey&quot; when he was 3 or so.  I put this to bed pretty quickly by always responding with, &quot;I am NOT your Jamey.&quot;  He would laugh and say, &quot;You're my DADDY!&quot;  He still does it sometimes now that he is 4, but there always seems to be a joking undertone when he does it, but it always evokes the same response from me -- &quot;I am NOT your Jamey.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just try to reinforce the fact that you are not their Mommy, even if it's in a joking manner, but this too shall pass.  It's not like they're going to be still calling you &quot;Mommy&quot; when they're 8 years old.  I would advise to enjoy the cute peculiarities while they last.  You will look back on this years down the road and be able to tease him about it and everyone will get a good laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20515" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T17:23:05.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23653" CreationDate="2016-01-15T17:34:48.300" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is the grammar school a &lt;em&gt;real&lt;/em&gt; grammar school in the classical sense?  Or, is it just an elementary school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is a real grammar school, then you have a very valid point as the entire point of a school like that is to teach proper grammar, which is heavily based upon repetitive rote learning and modeling.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, to do it the right way, they have to repeat &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; when teaching the children.  That &quot;something&quot; may as well be their standard textbook.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they are not following the standard, but claim to be a grammar school, then I would take it up with the principal or a C&amp;amp;I director.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if they are just a plain old elementary school then your concern doesn't really apply as classical grammar isn't what they do in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20514" LastEditorDisplayName="user20514" LastEditDate="2016-01-15T17:45:04.150" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T17:45:04.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-15T18:04:06.813" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your post makes me laugh as I reminds me time when my son was younger. He was around 2 years old (I don't remember exactly). He had period when he called me and my wife &quot;mama&quot; and after while he switch and call both of us &quot;dada&quot;, and after while whole circle starts from beginning and he called us &quot;mama&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't worry, just each time when you call &quot;mummy&quot; tell him you are &quot;daddy not mummy&quot; and &quot;mummy is there&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4664" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T18:04:06.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23646" CreationDate="2016-01-15T19:02:45.337" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;My rule of thumb is simple: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My children are free to make informed decisions about themselves that will not cause extended suffering or a trip to the ER/doctor or worse.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if it's freezing outside, I won't allow them to risk frostbite. If we're going to be out for a while, I won't allow them to risk hypothermia. If we're going to the car, then into a shop, they're welcome to be very cold on the way in and out. I'll certainly warn them about the expected outcome of their decision, but if they understand and are being petulant, a few minutes of Very Cold serves as a natural consequence. If they really don't mind the cold, then that's ok, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nice thing about that rule is that it works in lots of situations. It doesn't apply, though when the behaviour inconveniences others. In fact, if your previous decision not to store your coat properly threatens to inconvenience everyone by making them late, then you may find yourself without it (unless such would threaten health or extended suffering, of course).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But yeah, it covers deciding what to eat or not eat, what to wear or not wear, what activities to join or not join, and so on. They're tiny little humans, they have to practice being human or they'll never get good at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20521" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T19:02:45.337" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23653" CreationDate="2016-01-15T19:19:51.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's your right and even your duty as a parent to guide the education of your children. Exercise that right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am going to echo @Prinx's good answer in mine. In most elementary schools, they just don't care (as you've witnessed first hand.) They probably feel that they have bigger fish to fry, and will let the kids learn punctuation in high school. By then, habits are a bit harder to change, though they changed for me, and I'm sure if your kids care about their grades, they will learn it in high school. However, it doesn't hurt them to know the basics sooner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take it up with the principal and the school superintendent. If the high school that the kids go on to use the Chicago manual, the grammar school &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; as well. But, having done this, if you get no results, teach your kids at home. You're a writer. That's part of a craft you feel strongly about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no end to teaching materials that drive home the importance of commas (&amp;quot;Let's eat Grampa.&amp;quot; vs. &amp;quot;Let's eat, Grampa.&amp;quot;) and the Oxford comma in funny ways.* Humor is an great teaching tool. On a weekly basis, give them a few hilarious examples of the danger of leaving out a comma and the Oxford comma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they have a paper due, proofread it. Yes, it's extra work for you that the school ideally should be doing. But if you can't get the school to do it, do it yourself. That's what having a hand in your kids' education sometimes comes down to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just don't badmouth anyone, and teach your kids to respect authority enough that they don't correct the teachers. That way, no one suffers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;*My favorite recent &amp;quot;comma story&amp;quot; comes from the New York Times. In a short review on the occasion of the release of her new book in paperback, &lt;em&gt;This Is The Story of a Happy Marriage&lt;/em&gt;, by Ann Patchett, the New York Times reviewer wrote:&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;These sparkling personal essays, by the author of &lt;em&gt;Bel Canto&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;State of Wonder&lt;/em&gt;, cover the quotidian and the profound: from Patchett’s passion for opera &lt;strong&gt;and her stabilizing second marriage to her beloved dog&lt;/strong&gt;, and her resolve to open an independent bookstore in Nashville.*[bolding mine]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Patchett was obliged to answer in a letter to the editor:&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;...When highlighting a few of the essays in the collection, the review mentions topics ranging from “her stabilizing second marriage to her beloved dog” without benefit of comma, thus giving the impression that Sparky and I are hitched. While my love for my dog is deep, he married a dog named Maggie at Parnassus Books last summer...&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;kids of different ages will find some things funnier than others. Choose appropriately.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T19:19:51.573" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19650" CreationDate="2016-01-15T19:23:14.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consistent and Repeatable and Fun&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids thrive on consistent and repeatable experiences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It builds their trust that you or your wife or the world itself aren't going to disappear tomorrow.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistent and repeatable experiences also lead to expectations of &lt;em&gt;what comes next&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put your daughter to bed &lt;strong&gt;the same way each night&lt;/strong&gt;.  I'll repeat it again:  &lt;strong&gt;the same way each night&lt;/strong&gt;.  Also make sure that the last thing before going to bed is something that stands out (read a story, sing a little good night song, tell her you love her 10 times in 10 different ways, etc).  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The first time that you do that, she &lt;strong&gt;WILL&lt;/strong&gt; revert to crying and screaming ... because this is &lt;em&gt;new&lt;/em&gt; to her.  The best way to deal with it is to ignore it.  If she is a stubborn little one and keeps crying for quite some time, you will need to go in, tell it is time for bed and get her in trouble so that she knows this is serious.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Repeat. By night #3 the issue should be resolved - AND - she'll look forward to you putting her to bed, especially if your routine is something she can be involved in - like picking the story or the song you will sing.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my kids, we always had a story that I read to them.  As they got a little older, they read it to me.  A little after that, I gave them brain puzzles.  Even my teenagers have commented to my wife that they miss being younger because they miss the goodnight process that Dad did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consistent and Repeatable and Fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20514" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T19:23:14.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23653" CreationDate="2016-01-15T21:00:35.593" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former editor who was mostly loved but also called a comma-Nazi and worse, I would say you seem a bit overly concerned about minutiae, particularly for 6-8 year old kids and their school teachers. I would suggest you meditate on what the upset is about for you, so it can bug you less. Then you can mention your grammar suggestions without it being so bothersome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents were both well-educated and spoke very correctly, and one was an English professor, but they were also very laid back about it. They just spoke correctly and with intelligence and sensitivity to their world use. Just by being around them, and by having them not be overly critical about anything, I automatically absorbed a keen ear for the use of words that was grammatically correct. So I would tend to expect your own children to not need any particular further instruction, aside from what they'll get. In fact, I would expect any disproportionate attention to strict accuracy (except on formal papers later in school) to be more likely to backfire. If someone had made a Federal case out of comma use or spaces after periods, I would have tended to lose their respect and lose my interest in correctness too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes, as was already pointed out, perhaps the best way to teach about the reasons for certain rules is with humorous examples of how they lead to miscommunication. However that too can be taken too far. I'll always remember my English teacher who would answer &quot;Can I go to the bathroom?&quot; with &quot;No, you can't&quot; with no clues until they somehow got they needed to ask, &quot;May I go to the bathroom?&quot; - &quot;Yes, you may.&quot; He liked to play Simon Says with the class, too. But it didn't seem to teach many people who didn't already get it what he wanted them to know. They mainly thought we was being a kooky jerk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9899" LastActivityDate="2016-01-15T21:00:35.593" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23667" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-15T23:31:50.233" Score="26" ViewCount="4747" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old daughter (our oldest child, we also have a 2 year old son) is normally a very happy child, although can be very sensitive.  She is getting better controlling her emotions but one trigger we have not figured out is remembrances of her when she was younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specific stories about her and things she used to do, and videos of her (even from happy memories), tend to get her very upset.  Even photos (except those that are hanging up around the house) can trigger a response.  She will often cry and need cuddling (usually from a parent) to calm her down.  Videos usually have the most extreme reaction (and the video doesn't need to be that old), but stories of what she was like and stuff she used to do can also trigger a reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We first noticed this about 2-3 years ago (prior to her brother's birth).  Prior to that she used to enjoy looking at pictures and watching videos of herself we took of her on our phones.  When we ask her about it upsets her, she isn't really able to explain why she is upset (and often what she does tell us changes).  Asking about why it upsets her when she is calm can also trigger a reaction, so trying to talk to her to get to the bottom of it is not going to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are at a loss to explain it and we aren't sure how to best handle it.  We try to refrain from saying/watching things that will set her off, but I don't think avoidance is always the best way to handle things.  Does anyone have any thoughts or input on what might be bothering her when she gets upset?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7009" LastEditorUserId="7009" LastEditDate="2017-01-15T00:52:57.767" LastActivityDate="2019-04-13T01:01:39.820" Title="5-year old goes to pieces when talking about her/seeing pictures from when she was younger" Tags="|primary-schooler|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-16T00:28:19.763" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, this happened to us with our eldest son.  He was slow learning to talk and didn't see the use of it, as his parents were clairvoyant anyway. Not. We were however, very good at discerning his needs and wishes. Which did not exactly help with his learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;'Mama' was actually one of his first words, soon followed by 'Papa'.  And my wife was quite miffed when he would call her 'Papa' as well for months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7512" LastActivityDate="2016-01-16T00:28:19.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23636" CreationDate="2016-01-16T05:54:04.677" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to teach your son as many languages as you can, as early as you can - he will sort it out eventually. At first, he will be confused but keep explaining that there are different people who use different words for the same things and teach him the words for the same object in different languages all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son will likely have a primary language (the one he'll use in day-to-day interactions) and at first, he'll mix the various languages in a single sentence - just be patient and keep correcting him and he'll pick up the logic of each language over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first he may have a harder time with reading and writing than other kids of his age because he'll have a higher load on his mind but as he grows, he'll catch up and eventually come out ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did this with my daughter and by age 5 she was using both of her languages well (she was better with her primary language but that was because of lack of opportunity to practice the other language as much as the primary.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20530" LastActivityDate="2016-01-16T05:54:04.677" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23671" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-16T12:41:32.907" Score="1" ViewCount="141" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 month old will not take baby rice or rusk without sweetner. Can you advise me what sweetner I can give him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20531" LastActivityDate="2016-02-07T13:59:28.267" Title="Sweetner for our 4 month baby boy" Tags="|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7184" CreationDate="2016-01-16T13:34:20.980" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby had it pretty bad for months and would rub her face raw. I did a lot like specific lotions, zipper swaddles but a big factor was helping the skin- that didn't seem to be too bad just looking at &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took some trial and error to figure out what my baby was allergic to and to realize that teething was also a factor. I switched to dye and scent free products as a first step and removed products that were plant based. Part of it for my kid was figuring out what was causing her to rub her face and it seemed to be that after being exposed to some things that bugged her face she got into a bad cycle of rubbing her face and making it worse. I highly recommend swaddling with a swaddle that has a zipper so baby can't escape and get at their faces. Coconut oil has been a miracle for my baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20532" LastEditorUserId="20570" LastEditDate="2016-07-04T10:54:09.207" LastActivityDate="2016-07-04T10:54:09.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23671" CreationDate="2016-01-17T05:20:40.170" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not uncommon; if you mix the cereal with formula, you can add a bit of pasteurized juice instead of water, or, as suggested above by @Layna, add a bit of either fruit puree or a sweet vegetable (carrots, squash, sweet potato, etc.) to the mix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should avoid artificial sweeteners and honey for health reasons, and most doctors would disapprove of adding sugar or other concentrated sweet; the fruit/veggie is a much better option nutritionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T05:20:40.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="922" CreationDate="2016-01-17T09:58:28.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Joel Spolsky mentioned once (probably a podcast, I did not find a reference now when searching) that the personal pronouns are typically the last class of words that a child learns because parents (and other adults) refer to themselves in third person, e.g. &lt;em&gt;&quot;Daddy can't see you&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;&quot;Please give it to Mommy&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What are the good approaches to teach her ways to understand and use first and second persons in speech?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you refer to yourself in first and second person. Children learn from what they observe others do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1087" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T09:58:28.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-17T12:58:48.130" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some answers are suggesting to correct thus: &quot;Dada not Mama!&quot;. For an infant it is much better to correct more simply, without the negative: &quot;Dada!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The negative is an advanced mental construct that the infant has not yet acquired (as illustrated by the &quot;Not-Pippa&quot; example given by one writer here).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the same way that &quot;Don't think of the blue banana&quot; backfires, it is well known that the best way to teach is through positive reinforcement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Do this!&quot; trumps &quot;Don't do that!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A reasonable explanation is that &quot;Don't do that!&quot; contains the phrase/suggestion &quot;Do that!&quot;, and as the British illusionist Derren Brown has demonstrated on television, the brain acts on these subliminal suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20547" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T12:58:48.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19325" CreationDate="2016-01-17T13:17:50.540" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's worth noticing that around the world, different languages have very similar sounds for parents: Dada, Mama, Nana, Papa, Baba.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is unsurprising, these are the most basic phonemes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child learns to make their first language sounds looking into the face of a parent, imitating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;'Mama' and 'Baba' are the easiest to 'wire up', as they involve nothing beyond opening the lips while voicing. A 'n' sound is much more complex, as it involves a specific deft movement of the tongue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also 'BaBaBaBa' is an extremely satisfying sound. The child will be simply enjoying the experience of creating this sound repeatedly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing to worry about. Your child's natural curiosity will take them to explore the more subtle flavours of vocal articulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babytalk is essentially phoneme acquisition. Play some basic babytalk games with your child, to ensure they acquire decent phonetic vocabulary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BaBa&#xA;BuBu&#xA;KiKi&#xA;KaKa&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;KuKuBooBaBeBeShuKuLaKaLiKiPuPaPuPaNgaNgaNga...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20547" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T13:17:50.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-17T15:47:21.433" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a son going through this phase... started addressing me as something halfway between &quot;Mom&quot; and &quot;&lt;em&gt;Mamá&lt;/em&gt;&quot; (his mother is a native Spanish speaker, I've studied a certain amount of Spanish) at 14 months or earlier, still calls me that often at 20 months. Sometimes I remind him, &quot;I'm your &lt;strong&gt;daddy&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;em&gt;Yo soy tu papá.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Mommy&lt;/strong&gt; is over there. &lt;em&gt;Mamá está allá.&lt;/em&gt;&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess it's common for toddlers to use a word they know to refer broadly to various things, and they will get over it as they learn more words.  He also makes a distinct growling noise when he sees pictures of bears, dogs, or dinosaurs, or plays with such stuffed animals, and made the same noise when we entered a room of dinosaur-bones at a museum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His older siblings didn't use that exact word to refer to me that I can remember, but they did use other words broadly... &quot;umm&quot; for all food, &quot;&lt;em&gt;jugo&lt;/em&gt;&quot; for all drinkable liquids. His oldest brother called watermelon (&lt;em&gt;sandía&lt;/em&gt;) &quot;aguamelon&quot; until well past three years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="15022" LastActivityDate="2016-01-17T15:47:21.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23667" CreationDate="2016-01-17T20:50:50.487" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter went through this, and it took a few years until she was old enough to articulate what made her sad about the old photos and stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we were all reminiscing and fawning over her cutest, most-precious photos and the priceless moments of days gone by, what she was &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;hearing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; was that she was no longer so &amp;quot;baby cute&amp;quot; and how we missed having that baby around she no longer was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give it time. It is easily fixed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Show her she's &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; your little girl&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep taking those family photos of those precious moments, regularly and often. But &lt;strong&gt;Invite her to add them to the family album&lt;/strong&gt; with you. That will help her realize &lt;strong&gt;she's &lt;em&gt;still&lt;/em&gt; the star of this running saga.&lt;/strong&gt; The photos in those newest pages will only go back a few months. That's a good thing. Don't start paging back too far. Over time she will start to realize on her own that there is a long, &lt;em&gt;unbroken&lt;/em&gt; line between those &lt;em&gt;older&lt;/em&gt; family photos and the girl she is today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then she'll start flipping back on her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Don't &amp;quot;miss the baby&amp;quot;; celebrate the &lt;em&gt;big girl&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the next few months-to-years, make a concerted effort to &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; talk about those old family photos and childhood stories in the context of how far she has come. Instead of saying &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;OMG, how cute that you dumped those Spaghetti O's on your head!&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt;, say instead: &amp;quot;Goodness, remember when you didn't even know how to feed yourself?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Wow, when you were born, you didn't even have any hair.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;It's hard to believe that only 4 years ago, you couldn't even walk!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;You are &lt;em&gt;such&lt;/em&gt; a BIG girl!&amp;quot; &lt;em&gt;&amp;lt;big relieved hug&amp;gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, be careful that you're not delving too far into making fun of her as a baby… but at five years old, she should be able to start enjoying a bit of self-deprecating humor in the context of how far she's come. She may even come to &lt;em&gt;enjoy&lt;/em&gt; hearing those &lt;em&gt;silly little girl&lt;/em&gt; stories, and ask you to repeat them over and over. &amp;quot;Daddy, tell me about the time I ran out with my poopy diaper. And tell me about how I spit milk out of my nose! Again! Again!&amp;quot; Oy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you find yourself telling these stories for the 500th time, try mixing in a variation on the theme: &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;Not only that, but did you know that once you…?&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt; That's just another way to break out the old stories (and eventually, the old photos) in an amusing and entertaining way where she will always be the star!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="163" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T19:02:44.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23685" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-17T21:03:47.640" Score="4" ViewCount="138" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three year old son. Has a pretty good memory. (Sometimes better than mine). And will happily talk about and answer questions about things that we have done.&#xA;But he just places it all 'last year'. Even if I explain the concepts of yesterday, last week, etc. When asked when something was it always seems to be last year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also seems to have difficulty remembering events in order. Nit being sure if something yesterday and last year happened more recently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is just a concept that will come in time then I don't mind letting him work it out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However if nor is there anything I can do to help him understand the concepts? A game or something?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2972" LastActivityDate="2016-01-18T15:55:42.283" Title="Can you and should you teach pre school children to understand perspective of the past" Tags="|pre-schooler|cognitive-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="58" CreationDate="2016-01-18T08:28:34.807" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I read &lt;a href=&quot;https://babygogo.in/baby-food-chart-month/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; and it explains well about the baby food in the first year. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Baby Food Stage 1: Birth to 4 months&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What to feed: Only food for infants is breast milk or infant formula to meet all their nutritional needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Recommended milk is breast milk only. You should start giving formula or any other substitute in case breast milk supply is not sufficient for the baby or she feels hungry even after having mother’s feed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Feeding Tips: You should increase baby’s diet as baby’s digestion system is developing. Stomach size is the size of baby’s fist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Baby Food Stage 3: (4 to 6 months): At this stage, your infant’s milk or formula intake will increase (up to one liter in a day). You will also notice that your baby will start showing the signs “momma, I am ready to eat solid foods” &#xA;  By this time your baby’s first teeth will emerge. At this stage, your baby starts crawling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What to feed:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Breast milk or formula milk&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Mashed banana and apple&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Well cooked, pureed and strained carrot and sweet potato&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Pulse soup after boiling pulse in sufficient water (water of moong dal)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Feeding Tips: The first food must be a single grain food. You should keep a gap of at least three days between two new foods. Test with small quantities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Watch out for any type of allergies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Baby Food Stage 3: (6 to 8 months)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Her digestive system is developing. You should introduce new foods while your baby is busy in exploring the world. She is doing more physical activities, so she needs more solid foods along with milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What to feed to baby:&#xA;  Breast milk or formula&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Iron-fortified cereal like rice, oats mixed with milk&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Fruit Pureed like banana, peaches, pears, plum, mango. Mix two fruits together to taste it better.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Vegetable pureed (completely cooked) like sweet potato, carrots, squash, beans and potato.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Pulse soup after boiling pulse in sufficient water.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Rice water after boiling rice in clean and filtered water. Give your baby just strained water.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Unsweetened yogurt from low-fat milk (very small quantity)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Small portion of Tofu or cheese  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Feeding Tips: Introducing solid foods into your baby’s diet doesn’t mean to stop breast milk or formula; these are the most important source of nutrients for your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Never force your baby to eat a little more. Solid intake will increase gradually, it depends when you started giving her solid food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20559" LastEditorUserId="22316" LastEditDate="2017-07-18T06:53:09.140" LastActivityDate="2017-07-18T06:53:09.140" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23692" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23694" CreationDate="2016-01-18T14:15:32.643" Score="6" ViewCount="471" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our one year old had a bout of diarrhea that has &lt;em&gt;mostly&lt;/em&gt; gone away. What she's experiencing now are occasional 'hot farts', and they're really hurting her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The skin surrounding the opening is &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; red, despite generous applications of zinc oxide (up to 14%) and very gentle cleaning at every changing. It's as if the acidity itself is burning her, and it can take 30 - 40 minutes to comfort her. Zinc oxide isn't helping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else could we apply externally that's commonly available over-the-counter? I don't think this will last more than another day, but it kill us to see her in so much pain while doing something that normally makes her giggle. My instincts tell me I need to apply something basic (as in a chemical base) and I've been eying up milk and cotton balls, but I'd be a bit more comfortable with a proven established product that's specifically designed to help her not burn so badly :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way I can describe the affected area is something like sunburn, or your nose after a long bout of blowing through the flu. It's not really inflammed, it's just really really sensitive after the bout she's had over the last two days. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user106" LastEditorDisplayName="user106" LastEditDate="2016-01-18T14:25:42.823" LastActivityDate="2021-01-29T10:48:56.690" Title="What can help soothe my 14 month old's 'hot farts' other than zinc oxide?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23685" CreationDate="2016-01-18T15:55:42.283" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is just a cognitive skill that 3 year olds don't have yet. I also have a 3 year old son who remembers everything, even the most arcane details. But for him, it's all &quot;yesterday&quot;. Which can be confusing when he says something happened yesterday, and we have to realize he means 3 weeks ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's just now (at almost 3 1/2) starting to try to describe multiple &quot;yesterdays&quot; - e.g. if something was a long time ago, say multiple months, he takes longer to describe when it was. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I think it's just something that takes time to develop. Even explaining it to him likely won't help, as his brain just doesn't have the ability to know what it means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18898" LastActivityDate="2016-01-18T15:55:42.283" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23692" CreationDate="2016-01-18T16:03:41.840" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a problem a lot of parents face, and the best treatment is most definitely &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; convenient. I'm sure you're already doing a lot of this, but...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short answer: do everything you can to minimize &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; sources of irritation from mechanical (wipe/wash cloth/diaper/cotton balls) to chemical (urine/soaps/alcohol/chemicals/stool), &lt;em&gt;decrease moisture&lt;/em&gt; (air dry), and protect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Longer answer: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Diaper rash or irritant diaper dermatitis is a nonspecific medical term describing inflammatory skin reactions, something you know your daughter has (if her skin is red, there's inflammation.) Hers is likely a chemical burn, but that doesn't mean other things aren't also affecting her skin's ability to heal itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Urine hurts her skin, too. So as long as she's red, no wet diaper (even the absorbant kind.) Better - and faster for healing - is no diaper at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Exposure of urine to feces causes the formation of ammonia via degradation by the ureases of fecal microbes. The resulting pH increase can reactivate fecal proteases and lipases, and thus lead to attack of the&#xA;  corneocyte proteins and interstitial lipid lamellae of the stratum corneum, which results in an impaired barrier function. &lt;strong&gt;Hydrated skin is also more prone to mechanical damage and chafing of the skin as it shows an increased coefficient of friction and may allow irritants to penetrate the stratum corneum more easily.&lt;/strong&gt; These observations contributed to the understanding that good control of skin wetness and pH are critical for maintaining skin health in the diaper area.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(That just says urine + any stool is much worse than either one alone.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Every time she wets or soils herself, wash her bottom with a mild (pH around 4-7) cleanser in a bath of lukewarm to coolish (as tolerated) water (instead of a wipe, which is abrasive - even if only microabrasive, it causes this already damaged skin further damage.) Let the water, the mild surfactant and your hand to the work of cleaning her skin. (While it seems unnecessary to wash her bottom after urinating every time, see above. This is a different scenario than everyday care.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gently pat dry (you can use a blow dryer set to low and hold it far from her bottom) and let her stay bare bottomed for a while. Drying the skin discourages microorganisms associated with diaper rash, minimizes the effect chemicals can have on the skin, and allows more repair to take place.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;After she's had a chance to &lt;em&gt;thoroughly&lt;/em&gt; dry out, apply some A&amp;amp;D ointment (not sticky like zinc ointment and easier to remove, but still protective) or zinc oxide ointment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Leave her bare bottomed. That way, you'll know &lt;em&gt;the moment she soils&lt;/em&gt;, then repeat the above.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you really must use something to decrease the redness - and it sounds like it would be helpful given her pain after passing any stool - 1% hydrocortisone cream 4 x/day (for one day only) is recommended. (That really should be sufficient. If you still feel she needs extra help, use twice the second day. Longer than that should be by her doctor's permission.) Apply it to her dried skin, allow to absorb/dry, then apply A&amp;amp;D ointment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Symptomatic care (when she's howling) can be a cool compress with a soft cloth and some soothing lotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should see an improvement in a day, and more complete resolution in 2 days, enough to go back to her usual routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&quot;Ideally, first-line therapy for diaper dermatitis is zinc oxide ointment. The safest over-the-counter (OTC) emollient available for newborns is pure white petrolatum ointment. Another safe alternative is Aquaphor ointment, which is principally composed of white petrolatum, mineral oil, and lanolin. It is more expensive than pure white petrolatum ointment. Zinc oxide has antiseptic and astringent properties. It plays a significant role in wound healing with low risk for allergic or contact dermatitis. To remove zinc oxide from the skin, mineral oil is more effective and easier than soap and water.&quot; - From reference below&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/911985-treatment&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Diaper Dermatitis Treatment &amp;amp; Management&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-01-18T19:25:41.920" LastActivityDate="2016-01-18T19:25:41.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23695" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-18T17:16:51.220" Score="1" ViewCount="12504" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 14 months old and I feel like she's the world fussiest eater!! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really getting to me now as I'm imagining a 2 year old still eating baby food :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically she'll eat crisps, crackers, biscuits, cookies, raspberries, garlic bread, yogurts, weetabix, porridge and rusks and similar things but not in a vast amount and only if she wants. However most things other things she pushes out with her tongue. She's much better if she's feeding herself, but I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall and I don't know what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions would help as at the moment she still has a pouch of baby food before solid food for tea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20572" LastEditorUserId="6984" LastEditDate="2016-01-23T13:06:10.580" LastActivityDate="2016-01-23T13:06:10.580" Title="14 month old won't eat solids" Tags="|feeding|weaning|solids|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-18T17:28:01.627" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To us, we are unique important individuals, but to our children we're just the creatures that supply their needs.  My kids are 5 and 7 and they'll still absentmindedly call my wife and I by the wrong name sometimes if they aren't paying attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, they get very upset if we accidentally call one of them by the other's name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, don't worry too much about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-01-18T17:28:01.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23699" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23733" CreationDate="2016-01-19T00:34:52.927" Score="2" ViewCount="149" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kiddo is a little over seven-months old. We've been trying to get him on semi-solid foods for about a month now, trying once a day or every couple of days. We've tried the standard stuff: baby oatmeal, rice cereal and packaged pureed fruits. It's not too hard to get the stuff in his mouth, but then he'll just sit with it in his mouth indefinitely, a little agitated with us. Our response is then to give him his bottle, at which point he washes down whatever the semi-solid may be. All of this is to say that he is consuming the semi-solid, but basically only because he's &lt;em&gt;washing it down&lt;/em&gt; with the bottle. So, two questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way to teach kiddo to swallow these semi-solids? Just leaving it in his mouth for a while gets him pretty angry without inducing any swallowing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Supposing he won't swallow for us, are we doing more harm than good in letting him learn to wash down the semi-solids with formula?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, more broadly, how do you recommend we proceed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20329" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T00:39:23.163" Title="Teaching kiddo to swallow semi-solids" Tags="|feeding|solids|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-19T01:59:56.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter did something like this for a while -- sometimes she would say &quot;Daddy&quot; sometimes &quot;Mummy&quot; but she would use either word for either parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried correcting her for a while, until it dawned on us that &quot;Mummy&quot; meant &quot;I want comfort from a parent (either parent)&quot; and &quot;Daddy&quot; meant &quot;I'm having fun and I want a parent to play with me (either parent)&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She got the two of us figured out eventually. It might have been harder for her to figure out because we took turns being the stay-at-home parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20558" LastActivityDate="2016-01-19T01:59:56.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23701" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-19T04:09:31.977" Score="0" ViewCount="661" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11-month-old son stopped eating. We are giving him all the food in pureed form. But nowadays, after eating 2 to 3 spoons, he is not ready to open his mouth. Many times he is doing like vomitting. I am very much worried about him. Any helpful suggestion?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20579" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-09T17:34:16.033" LastActivityDate="2018-09-09T17:37:43.257" Title="How to make my 11-month-old son eat again?" Tags="|infant|health|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23695" CreationDate="2016-01-19T07:28:29.850" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I strongly suggest that you reverse the feeding order:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What motivation is there to struggle with something new (many babies are hesitant to try new tastes or textures), if she's already (semi-)full? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, following Ellyn Sattler's &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Division of Responsibility&lt;/a&gt;&quot; is a viable approach, meaning at your stage &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; offer the food you deem appropriate, &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; chooses whether she eats them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Offer&lt;/em&gt; solids &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; the usual baby bottle (if a bottle is given at all). If she prefers feeding herself - good for you. Let her experience the foods taste, smell, texture, mouthfeel....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that accepting new foods can take quite a while for some babies, so keep offering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And one final word of advice re. timing: a hungry baby will be more willing to eat whatever is offered, a ravenous baby won't have the patience for eating &quot;strange stuff&quot; that comes on a spoon or to fiddle with tiny pieces that need picking up, chewing and swallowing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry or fuss if some days she eats &quot;too little&quot;, a healthy baby won't starve itself. Appetite fluctuates and so unless she's extremely small or lightweight (your pediatrician would have told you so), she will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-01-19T07:28:29.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2016-01-19T10:26:31.377" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;He is rebelling against something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds as though he is rebelling against your holding onto him, protecting him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe he is rebelling against needing your approval.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him rebel! Let him get it out of his system. You offer him the gym, instead he offers to eat a cake in front of you. Offer him a cake next time! Don't be attached to any outcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remind him: &quot;You are now 16 years old. You may spread your wings and fly. If you need, I'm here for you. I am your mother and I love you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then maybe he will find it is his own attachment that he is rebelling against. He is looking over the nest at the drop, scared to jump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must lose your attachment to 'mother' him. Don't be afraid to let him go. He will come back!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;why does my son hate &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rephrase this in your mind: &quot;Why does my son hate? Where is this pain and anger coming from?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Challenge him: &quot;What is eating you? Are you full of anger? Where is it coming from?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But not &quot;Do you hate &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt;?&quot; -- as long as he is projecting these emotions, he is not addressing them. So ground yourself to neutralise these projections -- don't engage with them. If the ball comes over the net, don't hit it back. Don't engage with the drama he is creating. Feel your feet on the ground. See through this forcefield of angry projections he is throwing at you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring everything to the surface. Whatever is there, discuss it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may well be an issue with his father. You haven't mentioned his relationship with his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An unhealthy energy dynamic has formed. As the more conscious party, it's your responsibility to observe the dynamic, disengage and create a new dynamic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This appears to be a sado-masochistic dynamic. He is finding identity in giving pain, possibly you are finding identity in taking this pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you have a psychological weakness or blind spot. Maybe one of your parents unloaded psychological pain, which you took on as a child.  And now you have developed a &quot;taking on pain&quot; personality, and for someone to relate to you they unconsciously complement that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to end this dynamic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend reading &quot;The Celestine Prophecy&quot; -- fourth and fifth insight. Have a look here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.butler-bowdon.com/james-redfield---the-celestine-prophecy.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.butler-bowdon.com/james-redfield---the-celestine-prophecy.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also &quot;Hands of Light&quot; by Barbara Brennan. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0553345397&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Light-Healing-Through-Energy/dp/0553345397&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20547" LastActivityDate="2016-01-19T10:26:31.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23706" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23695" CreationDate="2016-01-19T16:19:24.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stephie is right, reverse the feeding order.  Hunger is powerful.  Keep the pouch and other favored items out of sight and start with the more solid stuff first.  To be honest I wouldn't worry about it too much, but if you want to play hardball, make it seem like there's nothing else.  Make feeding time over, and come back to it in 10mins. (10min is an eternity for these little ones).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mine is quite fussy too.  I have gotten him to eat quite a variety of things though by making it a game.  Here's a few ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take a lemon, lime, pickle and that sort of face puckering tasting stuff.  Put it to your own tong and make a face, do it again.  Then offer it briefly, but at a distance (the idea is make it known as available to try, but not pushy).  Taste it again yourself, repeat.  My guy soon wants to play and starts to enjoy the thrill of pucker tastes and the fun of making faces.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do the same with biting, pretend bite some food (i.e, tiny meatball pieces) and at first no need to actually eat it; just touching it to your teeth.  Baby will soon imitate and you will gain trust by not actually putting it in her mouth before she's ready.  She will become comfortable with the new smell being close and will eat it before you know it.  Put the food in her hand and will eventually take it&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach her to smell things, put things to your nose and make obvious smelling sounds.  The fun of smelling is going to outweigh the actual smell.  Ultimately broadens the taste palette, so less stuff will taste disgusting.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eat the same as your baby.  Have your baby watch you eat, and offer your own food every few bites.  Eat with a bit of eagerness, 2-3 quick bites and then &quot;Mmmmm&quot; sounds while chewing.  Repeat and offer occasionally. (Take small bites so you don't fill up!)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep trying different foods.  You might be surprised what they like.  My guy will eat unsweetened oatmeal, no problem.  Raisins and bananas are the only fruit he'll eat, no apples, no oranges, no strawberries, no melons.  After 6 months of trying grapes he's just starting to like them.  He's 21months, it takes time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6299" LastEditorUserId="6984" LastEditDate="2016-01-23T12:57:35.667" LastActivityDate="2016-01-23T12:57:35.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-19T17:07:05.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 6 and sometimes she calls me mom too, then she takes just a second to realize and calls me dad :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing to worry about, I guess. I think Mom and Dad are part of the same entity in children's head ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20585" LastActivityDate="2016-01-19T17:07:05.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23646" CreationDate="2016-01-19T21:18:27.007" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;That depends upon what you are trying to teach your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you trying to get them to make decisions based only upon their &lt;em&gt;own&lt;/em&gt; experiences?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, do you want them to engage in optimization behavior - where they build upon the prior knowledge of others?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the former case, you do what others have suggested - let them experience the cold or hot and then let them decide how to adjust (assuming no medical risk, of course).  In this case, after some experimentation they'll eventually find a right fit for themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the latter case, &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; dress them optimally for the weather.  After going outside, if they feel they have a better idea, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; let them try it themselves.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach gives them two additional options: (1) they have your baseline to compare to, which means they have something to &quot;tweak&quot; rather than reinvent (2) priority control -  if they really would prefer to be playing rather than spending time picking out clothes, they have the option of simply taking your original clothing solution &quot;as-is&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prefer the latter case as it still permits experimentation if they so desire, but also permits something not offered in the former - the choice to build upon the ideas/work of others - including just accepting another's solution &quot;as-is&quot; if the child has other priorities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20514" LastActivityDate="2016-01-19T21:18:27.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23695" CreationDate="2016-01-19T21:20:41.660" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like a textural/sensory issue, but very normal. We've had good results with fruit. Babies seem to just love fruit. There is a wide variety of textures when it comes to fruit. Apples are more solid, bananas are soft. Oranges are juicy and stringy. Star fruit has a very unique texture. Just try all sorts of fruit. If you find a fruit that he doesn't like, it's probably the texture and not the flavor. In that case, make a fruit salad that combines the fruits he does like and some of the textures he does not like. Add some cinnamon and a little lime juice so that everything tastes basically the same. I've never seen a kid that doesn't like fruit salad that include watermelon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breads are also a good way to incrementally modify the texture. You can start with very soft white breads. Then move to chewier whole grains, and then end up with crunchy croutons. Just tell them it's &quot;bread&quot;. Their teeth are sensitive so biting and crunching is a very strong sensation for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies start off loving fat (e.g. Mom's milk). Next they crave sugar/carbs (e.g. cookies, biscuits, fruit, bread). After that they start liking salty stuff. &lt;strong&gt;The trick is to provide a wide variety of textures for each of those cravings.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almonds are also a good nut to start with. They crunchy and high in protein so it satisfies their protein need but tests their texture issues. Some parents are worried about allergies, so you have to decide for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20588" LastActivityDate="2016-01-19T21:20:41.660" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23611" CreationDate="2016-01-20T00:00:40.620" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer to this is pretty complex, as partially touched on by others.  For an adult the answer would be technically no (but realistically far more complicated), because the definition of 'abuse' means that it is undesirable; but for a child any action designed to encourage sexual behavior by an adult is generally considered abuse; on the grounds that just because the child is too young to understand or articulate her feelings doesn't mean the action won't ultimately be harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The distinction of abuse having to be unwanted is still sometimes relevant for a child though, and thus worth at least addressing briefly.  For instance if an 8 year old was involved in some form of so called 'sexual' play with another child of nearly the same age, and without any age-inappropriate level of knowledge about sex, rather or not the play was abusive would largely depend on rather or not the child in question found it undesirable or not.  Playing 'doctor' is normal and is usually not abusive for children of the same age, but if one child does not want to play doctor then it can become abusive.  Some may view this play as sexual, though in reality it's more about curiosity and exploration then actual sexuality, but it can only be defined as abuse relative to the &lt;em&gt;child's&lt;/em&gt; perception.  Just because an adult doesn't approve of the play does not make the play inherently abusive or harmful to the child.   Still, I presume your question is focusing on abuse from an adult not another child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the answer to the question as written is yes to sort-of-yes depending on definition of 'enjoy'.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most obviously, it's possible for a child to not enjoy a sexual activity while still defining it as enjoyable to themselves or others.  Others have already touched on this aspect in some detail so I won't reitterate too much of it.  Since emotions and desirability is complex, which can lead to situations where the child does not like the sexual activity, but does like other aspects associated with it, like the praise an adult gives the child for performing the sexual action, or the sense of being 'grown up', or the extra attention and play that happens before/after the undesirable sexual activity.  This can result in the child viewing the overall reaction as enjoyable even while finding the sexual aspect of it undesirable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things get more complicated though as you consider sense of obligation and confusion about the actual activity.  A child may not enjoy an action, but they may feel an obligation to the adult performing it which makes them feel they have to enjoy it.  They may be afraid to tell on an adult, or afraid of the adult being forced to stop because they value the adults attention in other ways.  In addition a child may try to convince themselves that they enjoy something that they actually find uncomfortable because they believe they should enjoy it, or they are disloyal or immature for not enjoying it, or because the only way to deal with something so upsetting is to convince yourself you like it as a coping mechanism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, sexual contact can lead to physical pleasure, in some cases even a full orgasm, in a child.  They may therefore enjoy the physical sensations of the abuse even as emotionally or mentally the find it harmful.  For any person, but especially so a child, the enjoyment of the physical sensations can confuse them into thinking that they must 'enjoy' all of the experience, or even that they can't say it was unwanted since their body enjoyed it (physical enjoyment does not make an action right or justified, but sometimes victims of sexual abuse still feel this way).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in short, there are situations where a child may enjoy part of the situation, or simply have tried hard to convince themselves or others they enjoyed it, even as the action as a whole is undesirable and uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Separate from the confusion of uncomfortable actions defined as 'enjoyable' one can argue that certain forms of sexual abuse may actually be enjoyed, or at least not cause immediate discomfort, while still being harmful.  That is to say there could be a situation when a child does not feel any immediate discomfort or is not otherwise significantly upset by an abusive action directed towards them.  This &lt;em&gt;DOES NOT&lt;/em&gt; mean the action was not abusive, as some abuse may cause harm at a later date even if they were not immediately harmful to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance an adult can 'groom' a child to accept sexual action through subtle ways, such as complimenting their body in inappropriate manner or encouraging the child to ignore sexual boundaries such as nudity while playing games with them.  The grooming itself may not be immediately harmful or even truly enjoyed by the child, as it still involves compliments and playing of games and the child may not find the form of game and compliment unusual at the time it occurs.  However, the end goal of such sexualization is to ruin the child's ability to develop a proper self image ans understanding of their sexuality, and to make the child susceptible to later more direct forms of sexual abuse; both of which will ultimately harm the child.  The harm may not be noticed until later, when the child's self image is so tied into sex and sexual image that they can not see their worth outside of sex, but at the moment the child received a compliment about their body the compliment may have been 100% welcome; the child can't realize that the pleasant compliments may harm their eventual emotional and sexual growth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a related concept a child who lacks any sense of sexuality may not consider an action as sexual and thus not see any reason to be uncomfortable about the action.  For instance if a young child were asked to pose for a play &quot;photo shoot&quot; they may find this a fun game, just like dress up or making silly faces.  Depending on the child the fact that they were naked for this 'game' may not register as unusual or wrong, since nudity need not be associated with sexuality in a young child's mind.  Since they do not recognize the meaning behind the photos, or their being naked for the photo as being suspicious, they may not feel any immediate harm or regret from the action; in their mind it was just harmless play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this is still abuse, and not acceptable.  This can still cause a sort of delayed harm, by the child being habituated to sex and sexuality which does harm similar to other forms of sexual grooming I mention above, by encouraging the perpetrator of the abuse to engage in worse actions later, or by the reaction of the child when they are older and realize the true nature of what they thought was harmless, or by the photos still being available and viewable after the child is old enough to be properly upset by someone viewing such photos sexually.  The point is that in theory abuse can occur without a child having any immediate regrets about the action; and this does not mean the action should be deemed acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, your real question doesn't seem to be about abuse or enjoyment, but rather what to do about suspected abuse, so lets address that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, you don't give much specifics about why you suspect abuse.  I wish I had more detail here to better guide you.  One thing I notice is you imply the child is still happy, usually an abused child will have rather obvious side effects like depression, fear, regression in age appropriate behaviors, nightmares etc etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In either case &lt;em&gt;DO NOT&lt;/em&gt; ignore anything that concerns you.  Far too often people ignore warning signs for fear they may be wrong or because it's too inconvenient to look into or they don't want to know the truth etc.  If you have any worries you need to do something!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, having said that, be very careful about speaking with her directly about this yourself.  This is actually always good advice in all situations of suspected abuse of a child.  The reason you want to be careful speaking with her is that you may be conveying messages you do not mean to when speaking to her, messages which will make her feel worse about any abuse that may have occurred&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For starters if you are (understandably!) upset about the abuse, your anger at the person abusing her may be read by her as anger at her for being part of the abuse.  She may feel she did something wrong to upset you and thus feel worse about being a &quot;bad girl&quot; who angered someone she card about.  Similarly Questions about someone doing something &quot;wrong&quot; to her may imply to her that her actions were &quot;wrong&quot; and thus she was wrong for being involved in them.  Saying that little girls shouldn't be doing some action may be interpreted as her being wrong for being involved in the action, rather then the other being wrong for making her etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she loves the person abusing her anger or hostility at that individual can also make her feel worse because she still feels attachment and loyalty to them and does not want others to be angry at this person.  She may feel bad for getting someone else in trouble.  When you don't let her see the abuser again she may think it's a punishment because &quot;she told&quot; like she wasn't suppose to.  In short, it's possible to make her feel worse about the situation if discussion is done in such a way as to focus on the &quot;wrongness&quot; of the abuse only; rather then focusing on her deserving choice and that it's better that she not have to do anything she is not comfortable with etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also the chance she will give you the answer she thinks you want if you speak with her with leading questions, which could lead to the wrong person being accused or misunderstanding of the actual situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of talking with her directly I would instead seek a professional, who knows how to handle this situation better, to speak with her.  A professional can both ascertain if abuse is likely to have occurred, and if so, help her to understand the abuse in context of something that shouldn't happen to her, but not something that she has done wrong.  By professional there are really two your want her to see, her pediatrician and a psychologist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her pediatrician can inspect her for signs of physical sexual abuse, such as tearing of vagina, missing Hyman (which by it self does not prove abuse!) or contracting of STDs.  Such an exam can confirm certain kinds of abuse with a high degree of accuracy, but it can not rule out abuse; as many types of abuse will not lead direct physical harm.  However, the other advantage of contacting a pediatrician is that they can likely point you to a psychologist who can speak with her in detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately a psychologist is the best resource, ideally one that already works with children who have been sexually abused.  They will know how to ask the right questions to determine rather she was abused &lt;em&gt;without&lt;/em&gt; putting her in a situation where she feels she has done something wrong.  If you believe abuse is likely I would look into contacting one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, until you have seen a specialist I would be careful about discussing this with her directly.  I would limit my questions to things such as if there is anyone she doesn't like seeing or anything she would prefer not to do with others (without saying anything about &lt;em&gt;what&lt;/em&gt; sort of things she may not like) and see what she says.  Most kids will mention lots of things like not liking to clean their room or eat vegetables, and wanting to not be babysat by the boring nanny that doesn't have TV etc, silly things.  But she may hint at wanting to avoid someone that she is uncomfortable with due to abuse.  If so I would not push too hard on why or what happened, again as a non-expert you may risk use of leading questions which bias both her answers and how she views the situation; simply consider not forcing her to be alone with the individual until she sees a psychologist or doctor who can look into the odds of abuse and better help you to discuss the topic with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If for some reason her parents continually refuse to have her speak to a specialist then you may wish to look into more direct options, like contacting child services; since there is always a chance that one of the parents is abusing the child and actively resisting seeking help for the child.  However, I would at least attempt to arrange for her to see a psychologist without child services first; while child services is usually very delicate about this I think a single professional psychologist can be more delicate in handling the situation; particularly when ascertaining if abuse has occurred at all.  Still, I stress that it's better to contact child services then do nothing if no other actions are being taken and you truly suspect abuse.  It's better to say something and be wrong then say nothing and allow any abuse that may be happening to continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13387" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T00:00:40.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23533" CreationDate="2016-01-20T01:00:58.640" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first answer would be...it doesn't matter too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By that I mean that there is allot of advice that could be given and different options, but for the most part I don't think the child's development or growth is going to be drastically changed by any of these options, so long as camera is not used to invade an expectation or privacy, leaving it running when he is 8 or something (see below).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that here is my general advice, make of it what you will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I would tell him about what your doing now in as much detail as he can understand, and continue to reference the camera often enough that he grows use to the idea, for a few reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It may get him interested in technology to see cool stuff you do.  In general it's a good conceptual concept for him to master, that the camera can make it possible for you to understand things not in front of you etc.  In short, it's a learning opportunity and curiosity that is always good to have.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's better he doesn't think you have the magic ability to see through walls.  Rather then him coming to unreasonable conclusions about your abilities best to set him up with a firm understanding with how the real world actually works.  This will avoid a mis-assumption he needs to correct when he is a little older and perhaps keep him more curious about the world if he knows there are answers to curiosities like &quot;how did mom know that!?&quot; maybe he will be more likely to seek them out.  Plus, while absurdly unlikely, we wouldn't want him to one day expect you to be watching him through walls when you can't and be either upset that you didn't absorb something he expects you to or worried your see something he doesn't want you to see.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can start both setting privacy boundaries and controlling his involvement with you by telling him when the camera is on or off.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The third option is the big one I would focus on.  Sure at 2 he doesn't really have an expectation of privacy, particularly when in his playroom; but that expectation needs to develop.  You don't want him at age 4 to think your still watching him when he uses the restroom (yes an exaggeration here, but you get the point).  Since at some point your need to define this boundary I think the easiest way is to make it explicit from day one, long before it matters, so it doesn't become an issue when it does start to matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell him he can go play in his playroom and your turn on the camera, but also let him know that you turn it off when he comes out for lunch or before bed etc.  You don't really need to stress when it goes off, just tell him when it turns on and he will figure out that must mean it's off otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sets early on the expectation of privacy, that your only watching when you tell him your watching, and that the room is still his and private other times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an added bonus by telling him your watching at some times he may feel more involved with you even when your busy out in the kitchen.  He can say &quot;mommy look&quot; and hold up something he drew to the camera and you can look at it.  He can know your watching him build that big tower etc.  By making it clear when you are watching he may still get a bit of the advantage of &quot;social time&quot; with his parents even while in a different room; particularly if you talk some while he is in his room.  Perhaps even throw in a baby monitor so you can easier talk with him without shouting.  This could be a good way to keep him feeling like your involved even when you need to do other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do think that the expectation of privacy aspect is important though.  Yes your child is still really young, but ground rules early are easier to grow into.  If he learns that the camera is off unless otherwise told &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;, when he is too young to care if your watching, then by the time he is a little older and just beginning to get a feel for a desire for privacy you can have the camera without imposing on that development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While even less of a &quot;must do&quot; then the rest I personally would remove it sooner rather then later.  At his current age being able to keep an eye on him is nice.  However, as he gets older you can safely leave him to run around the house without feeling the need to keep an eye on him.  As soon as you find yourself not feeling the need/desire to watch the camera I would remove it, since it's not needed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact I would go so far as to consider making that something of an idea/option for him.  Tell him he is a big boy and you don't think you need the camera any more, does he want you to remove it.  Maybe he will come to value being able to play in his room and still have you around to interact with and will want to keep it.  More likely by the time your ready to remove it he will have no qualm with it going; but you can use it as a &quot;your a big boy, we don't need to watch you because we trust you&quot; moment anyways.  I like to give kids these moments of reminding them they are getting older and more responsible, it makes them feel good.  You can even tie it in with &quot;now were trusting you, make sure you earn that trust by being good&quot; or something along those lines; so long as you don't make a threat of adding the camera back in if their not good lightly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You asked about impact of 'spying', which I didn't address yet.  First, at age 2 there is little impact.  At this age the children expect you to be omnipotent so your being a little closer to that ideal then most isn't going to do any real harm,  At most it risks confirming the child's elevated views of your knowing everything which could cause some minor confusion; thus my second point about avoiding such unrealistic expectations, but this isn't too major.  I don't think it does much harm right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I don't think it does a massive amount of good either, unless the child likes interacting with you through the camera once he knows about you.  In general he is unlikely to do anything truly dangerous without your being aware of it even without the camera, most parent's dont have it and kids don't seem to be setting fires or anything.  Mostly what you would be stopping is annoyances, like his making messes you would need to clean up or breaking something by mistake; and even that won't happen most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of stopping annoyances, that's nice for you.  However, some mistakes are best made to learn from them.  If he makes a mess and only later gets yelled at to clean it up; well that can be as much of a learning oppertunity as being warned not to make the mess to start with, possible even more of one since it let him make a decision and then see direct consequences from it rather then having the decision made ahead of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end I think it all evens out.  The camera is mostly about the parents peace of mind of knowing for certain the child isn't getting in trouble, and stopping trouble they don't want to clean up.  It doesn't do much harm to not have it, but it doesn't do much harm to have it either, so it seems the covenience of catching a few of those messes ahead of time and, more significantly, your own peace of mind of knowing he is fine when he was suspiciously quite for awhile, is worth having.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What age to remove it is a little more complicated, since this gets into emotional development in many ways.  I would say the moment he starts to dislike the camera; not in a &quot;mommy just caught me being bad&quot; way but in a more general &quot;do I really need that?&quot; sort of way it may be time to get rid of it.  I'm personally a believer that kids are more capable then we often give them credit for and as such should be given more freedom to make decisions and learn from their mistakes.  As such I personally would err on the side of removing the camera sooner, to give a child freedom.  This is actually less about privacy, and more of...agency?  Giving the child an oppertunity to feel they can make their own decisions, and mistakes, without their expecting their parents to be watching them and fixing everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that there is allot of flexibility here in terms of age.  besides, as I alrady said, I think the difference is pretty minor either way.  Rather then giving you a set age I would say it's time to seriously consider removing when&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the child expresses a wish to stop using it, other then when he is clearly about to do something he knows is wrong and doesn't want caught.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You find yourself no longer needing it or looking at it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child reaches the age where he starts to be sensitive about being seen naked or his &quot;private parts&quot; (this likely will happen later then the rest).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You want to teach him a sense of independence or privacy and it makes a good object lessen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He starts to actively try to avoid the camera or hide from it at all regularly, even if it's because he is being bad.  If he is aware of it enough to be hiding from it he is aware enough to understand privacy expectations and thus desire them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13387" LastEditorUserId="13387" LastEditDate="2016-01-20T01:19:49.037" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T01:19:49.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23563" CreationDate="2016-01-20T02:04:13.063" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our doctor also encouraged it due to feeding issues. In my experience as a mother of 1, an aunt of 16, and babysitter of many others: sucking their thumb also helps the child be more self secured in their toddler years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20590" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T02:04:13.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23714" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-20T08:09:27.937" Score="6" ViewCount="3132" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son, who is eight and a half years old, has begun asking about sex more frequently in recent months. His questions are less about the reproductive aspect of human sexuality (which he understands, because it is explained in verbal and visual detail in many children's books and documentary films, both on human reproduction and animal life) and more about the basic procedure of human intercourse as well as about what adults would call lust and eroticism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being familiar with his own penis and the flaccid penis of his father as well as the outward form of female genitalia, my son seems to find it hard to imagine that a penis can be inserted in a vagina and what needs to be done to produce those enigmatic spermiums that he as yet has never seen and probably cannot conceive of ejaculating from his own member.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also does not yet have any romantic, much less sexual, feelings about girls (or boys), and the only difference he sees between the genders are differences in the media they prefer. Otherwise girls are just as much fun to play with, and he does not quite understand why any person might want to kiss or caress someone except for familial affection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, he is still (sexually) an &quot;innocent&quot; child, but he recognizes signs of romantic and sexual activity in the adults, teens and other children around him (and in the media), and he is curious about what it all means (and, possibly, what is coming up for him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have begun to go through the books that are advertised as explaining the topic of human sexuality to children, but I have found them to almost completely omit the reproductive act itself as well as everything that has to do with sexual lust. They do mention love (albeit usually between married parents), but they do not help a child prepare for a teens feelings of horniness. They do explain (often in boring detail) the development of the fetus and the hormones of the female cycle, but they do not even mention wet dreams or intercourse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son asks me, I try to answer as truthfully as possible, but I often find it hard to explain some aspects without visual reference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child asks you about how something is done or what a certain thing looks like, you will find it easiest to give a comprehensive answer by showing him the activity yourself or a movie that shows it. For example, when you try to teach your child to swim, you wouldn't expect him or her to understand what you are talking about without ever having seen another person in the water. In fact you will perform the movements and ask your child to mimick your behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For that reason, I have wondered wether or not my son might find it helpful, if I allowed him to view some (carefully preselected) pornographic images or (preferably) a pornographic movie. There are a few videos and photos on the web that to me show what I think of as tender, loving sex and that include only what I perceive to be normal, healthy sexual behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But apart from worrying about my son telling his friends, and them telling their parents, I also wonder if this (one time!) exposure would either shock him or influence his own sexual development unfavourably. I think, neither, but what do you think? Or what alternative do you recommend?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some general comments to the comments and answers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I have seen some pornographic movies that portray realistic, loving sex. I don't want to link it, but please believe me, that it exists.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The book &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Show_Me!&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Show me!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by Will McBride features explicit photographs of people (including children) being sexually active. It was published in Germany (where I live), won prices (incuding prices by church organisations) and withstood several court cases here and in the US. You can find some of the images through Google. I would have bought the book, but it is quite expensive today.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I own a teen sex ed book, &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.de/Make-Love-Aufkl%C3%A4rungsbuch-Ann-Marlene-Henning/dp/3954030020&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Make Love&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, also published in Germany, which features explicit photographs of adults having sex. It has been highly praised in the media here, and is legally available in book stores. Some of the images can be seen &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.welt.de/partnerschaft/article106603660/Die-Bilder-sind-explizit-entscheidend-ist-der-Zweck.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;in this review&lt;/a&gt; in censored versions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specific comments under the respective answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2016-01-21T10:31:56.477" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T10:31:56.477" Title="Using pornography in sex education" Tags="|sex-education|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23716" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23717" CreationDate="2016-01-20T08:28:13.863" Score="5" ViewCount="781" Body="&lt;p&gt;I need your advice on how to get my 4-year old son to play less with legos (or to play in a more controlled fashion) when his toddler brother is around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently my son goes through a period where legos are his only toy. He takes them apart, builds something new, plays with it for a while and repeat the whole process all day long. This is fine and I encourage him to do it for now, but in a few months his toddler (6 month old) brother will begin to move around the house and will encounter the lego blocks. I am worried he might swallow them and I'm looking for a way around the problem. We can't keep them separated because we live in a small apartment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I ban legos completely for the ~ 1year period when the toddler is prone to swallow small things? Should I introduce other types of toys (if yes, which types?) for my 4 year old to get him to play less with legos?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you've had this problem, how did you manage it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for the advice!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20592" LastActivityDate="2016-06-20T15:21:07.730" Title="Playing with legos with a toddler around" Tags="|toddler|safety|toys|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23716" CreationDate="2016-01-20T09:18:02.850" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;With a bit of luck, this may remain a hypothetical problem - the &quot;Lego phase&quot; might dwindle down soon or your younger one might turn out to be a child that actually doesn't &quot;eat&quot; every crumb he finds on the floor. (We were lucky in the latter sense.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it's always better to be prepared.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first meassure is always to separate the toddler and the pile of Legos - while I'm usually all in favour of playing on the floor, in this case the Lego should be built on a table. This buys you at least a few more months until the toddler can reach them on his own.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Your elder son will &lt;em&gt;very quickly&lt;/em&gt; figure out that keeping his models out of the reach of his brother is important if he wants to keep them intact.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Loose pieces go into closed&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; boxes or other storage units on shelves the toddler can't reach - as you would do with other items he shouldn't get into.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For single stray pieces the same rules apply as for every other &quot;floor finds&quot; - keep your floor swept and clean and an eye on the toddler. And remember that the majority of small non-food items pass the digestive tract without any trouble. Legos are made of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acrylonitrile_butadiene_styrene#Applications&quot;&gt;ABS&lt;/a&gt;, a plastic considered harmless. Unless your child shows signs of gagging or abdominal pain or swallowed a dangerous object like a battery or a magnet, assume the object will travel the &quot;natural route&quot; and show up in the diaper or toilet bowl. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; recommend is taking the Lego away from your elder child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; Speaking from experience, &lt;em&gt;closed&lt;/em&gt; boxes are important, cleaning dust or spiderwebs from very small legos is a nightmare...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T09:18:02.850" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23719" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-20T09:37:57.513" Score="1" ViewCount="88" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1689/how-can-we-make-our-newborn-accept-the-bottle&quot;&gt;How can we make our newborn accept the bottle?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this a related question but we can't afford to swapping and changing in Japan- they are expensive here. Our 5 month takes one mouthful of the bottle milk and won't drink any more whether its expressed or formula- he is all breast feed but it would nice to have the  option when my wife is sore from the posture she uses when normally feeding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11975" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T10:35:20.660" Title="How can a find a bottle/nipple that our infant will accept" Tags="|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23719" CreationDate="2016-01-20T10:35:20.660" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are actually a few other options than just switching brands - you can use a spoon, a beaker or a sippy cup to feed your baby. At five months you either have already done or probably will soon start with solid foods and these tools are going to be part of your equipment anyway. Some exclusively breastfed babies simoly dislike baby bottles, but readily accept the alternatives above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even though we don't question the premise of a question here, in this case I suggest that your wife &lt;em&gt;additionally&lt;/em&gt; re-evaluates her nursing technique. Soreness happens, yes, but some negative side effects of nursing can and should be avoided. A lactation consultant, midwife or similar might be a good first source of information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T10:35:20.660" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18226" CreationDate="2016-01-20T10:48:13.510" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the sleeping &quot;issue&quot; did they try any ambient sounds while the child goes to sleep? Try rain/ocean sounds. They help the brain rest and also may prevent any sudden noises from waking the child. Also showing their exhaust and maybe anger while trying to put the child to sleep may stress her. Separation anxiety maybe? There's lot of things that need to be &quot;checked&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One year old understands what you speak to her, so did they tell her that they're tired and need to go to sleep?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem might also be deeper and psychologist opinion could help, the baby might have some basic needs that are not recognized by the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While putting your child to sleep is one thing try to look at the big picture. If you raise your children while not understanding basics of his/her biology and brain functions do not expect good results. It's not that hard to read a little. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People who let their children &quot;cry-out&quot; hurt them, period! Long stressful conditions damage brain cells. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of training your children, try to understand their needs and meet them. Then everything will look different. It is hard for us, who were brought up like that, but just break the &quot;training&quot; circle and understand your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For those who would like to know more I recommend reading books by Scandinavian author Jesper Juul - &lt;em&gt;Your Competent Child&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Family Life&lt;/em&gt; and other titles as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20595" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-01-21T05:59:17.300" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T05:59:17.300" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23722" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23714" CreationDate="2016-01-20T11:07:39.367" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pornography is not designed to be teaching material. I personally wouldn't use it as such because there's a rather high chance that (even carefully selected) material will teach your kid the wrong kind of things and it's very hard to find out what he's learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather, if you say that the books you found &quot;omit the act of reproduction&quot;, find some better books. At the risk of being a bit offensive, go look for one that has absolutely no religious bias. The ones I got when I was a kid were completely open about the &quot;act of reproduction&quot;, the feeling of being horny, lust, masturbation, and everything else that a kid should be taught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately those books are also in Dutch and probably of no use to you, but I'm sure they exist in your area as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, these books are much better for learning because they actually explain; porn shows you how it works but it doesn't explain why and usually doesn't explain much about feelings either. Good books (or videos) do explain these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T11:07:39.367" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23723" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23740" CreationDate="2016-01-20T12:23:36.147" Score="3" ViewCount="488" Body="&lt;p&gt;Me and my wife have a one year old baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a staircase with a fence - something like this &lt;a href=&quot;https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c1/bf/38/c1bf38c07feec93bcf3c82226094dd08.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c1/bf/38/c1bf38c07feec93bcf3c82226094dd08.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day, while I was holding our baby, the baby got curious about the fence, so I got him closer and he grabbed the fence with both his hands. I gently tried to pull the baby away from the fence, but he wouldn't let it go. He was firmly holding onto it and smiling. He wouldn't let go. So I gently let the baby's body closer to the fence, to ease the force of me pulling on the baby, and again tried to gently pull the baby away from the fence, but he wouldn't let go and was smiling even more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't want to pull on the baby to make him let go of the fence, so I moved the baby's body closer to the fence, and gradually bent my knees so that the baby was holding like 50 % of his own body weight. After 5-7 seconds the baby let go of the fence. All the time the baby was smiling and was very entertained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty sure that if I completely bent my knees, the baby could easily hold his entire weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a sports climber and I know that if I can't hold onto something, I just let go and nothing bad would happen to my hands, wrists, arms. What if a one year old baby wants to hold himself onto something? Can this cause any injuries to his fragile hands or wrists?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20074" LastActivityDate="2016-06-20T18:05:09.897" Title="Our baby is a climber. How to deal with it?" Tags="|health|safety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23726" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-20T15:39:25.897" Score="10" ViewCount="2544" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in a six year relationship with a woman who has two kids, a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have moved a lot. The child's father has been incarcerated for most of the child's life. He has only female friends and is highly socially anxious. We recently learned that he had been exploring gay porn online for many months and assume he is gay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been treated with stimulant medication for ADHD on and off since he was 8, and this school year he has gone from &quot;forgetting&quot; to do much of his schoolwork (which has been his excuse for years) to actively refusing to participate when his &quot;screen time&quot; was curtailed after he began failing many subjects. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried many behavior charts and behavior management programs over the years, most recently the Kazdin method. All attempts have failed. The child is now in personal counseling and his mom and sister are also seeking treatment for depression and other issues. His mother has some ADD and possible borderline personality issues but is seeking treatment. He is willing to forgoe rewards that he values highly rather than comply with small parental requests, and he is not fazed by having straight F's on his report card - in fact he seems to be punishing us for attempting to set limits with him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the child hates me as the unwanted step-parent who constantly attempts to support his mom's behavior management programs by reminding her that she is not adhering to her own agenda (she often fails to monitor his compliance with chore charts, and he often lies about having no homework or about having completed his chores). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find myself in the untennable position of sitting back and watching this cycle repeat endlessly in a negative downward spiral. Due to my poor relationship with the child I now feel that any attention I show him can backfire. If he is bad and thows a rock through our window I want to punish him, but I think he is doing it to get negative attention and I find myself doing that at times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rarely, he will begin to do his homework and I will say something encouraging, and it seems to mean very little him, and he stops doing his homework. There are no certified Kazdin therapists in our area and I have not been successful in reaching anyone at their office for specific advice. What does a person do when a child has beaten his parents at behavior management?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20598" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-11T18:39:48.063" LastActivityDate="2018-11-11T18:45:24.310" Title="What to do when a 12-year-old boy has defeated behavior management program (Kazdin method)?" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|step-parents|adhd|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23650" CreationDate="2016-01-20T19:30:26.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is normal and I highly recommend ignoring it as much as you are able.  My son who is now 27 months started this around the same age.  The more I tried to correct him, the more hilarious he thought it was.  He now correctly calls me &quot;daddy&quot; most of the time, but will call me &quot;mommy daddy&quot; whenever he is trying to razz me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is also an age range where emotional development and emotional awareness make some big leaps forward.  Finding something that causes distressed laughter can provide a toddler with no end of enjoyment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20601" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T19:30:26.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23714" CreationDate="2016-01-20T20:23:39.020" Score="16" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Being familiar with his own penis and the flaccid penis of his father, ...my son seems to find it hard to imagine that a penis can be inserted in a vagina and what needs to be done...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's really OK. There are lots of things about which he has no understanding and he can live a good life without knowing this minute. Unless he's asking you every day how it happens, it's really ok to explain to the best of your ability that his body will be able to do things it can't now - like lift (just guessing) 160 pounds - because bodies change as they grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's asking incessantly, tell him the truth. Explain (with a good anatomy text and maybe some simple items) that his penile shaft is composed of 3 spongy erectile columns (the 2 corpora cavernosa and the corpus spongiosum), the enveloping fascial layers, nerves, lymphatics, and blood vessels, which he can't see because it's all covered by skin. With maturity and sufficient testosterone, and under the proper stimulation, the nervous system will cause the erectile columns to fill with blood from the arteries (like a sponge soaked in water), causing an erection. Etc. Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that sounds like too much, then it &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; too much; the child probably doesn't really need all that information. Most likely, all he needs is a reassurance not to worry, he'll find out that this is all true in a few years (if he doesn't already experience nocturnal erections.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the use of pornography to teach your child is so fraught with potential damage to the psyche of the child that, should authorities find out you've exposed your child to it, you could face loss of your child and prison time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...the only difference he sees between the genders are differences in the media they prefer. Otherwise girls are just as much fun to play with, and he does not quite understand why any person might want to kiss or caress someone except for familial affection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's lovely. Please leave him his innocence for a while longer, as it is appropriate and healthy. Be open to answering his questions, but answer from &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; ability to understand, not &lt;em&gt;yours&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;For example, when you try to teach your child to swim, you wouldn't expect him or her to understand what you are talking about without ever having seen another person in the water. In fact you will perform the movements and ask your child to mimick your behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By this reasoning, you can easily teach your son about sex by inviting him to watch a session of sex between yourself and his mother. But if that sounds outrageous, it is equally outrageous to teach him by showing strangers having sex. Context matters. There is no dispute in the scientific literature that adolescents experience negative outcomes from exposure to pornography. The literature for preadolescents is much scarcer, and usually a result of criminal activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Psychologists spend many years trying to undo the damage done by pornography on the young (and I'm assuming here, they found the pornography themselves.) There is opportunity enough for your son to watch porn later on. It won't be so beneficial then, either, but for you to introduce him to pornography now - even as a teaching tool - is like asking him to play Russian roulette.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T20:23:39.020" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8824" CreationDate="2016-01-20T20:44:26.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have always just waited til they are 3 yrs old. I have 4 kids, &amp;amp; that seems to work MUCH better than trying to train a 2-yr old. Cognitively, I just think they're better equipped. And mine are extremely smart (so it's not that they can't), their brains are just more well-developed by then. They understand more not only about their bodies (&amp;amp; its functions), but more about consequences, being able to hold it a bit longer, pleasing others, etc. I tried training my 1st at age 2 (girl) &amp;amp; it was 8 grueling months of horror. I waited til my 2nd &amp;amp; 3rd were 3 (both boys)... Took 1 week both times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20603" LastActivityDate="2016-01-20T20:44:26.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23731" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23732" CreationDate="2016-01-21T00:41:23.990" Score="0" ViewCount="636" Body="&lt;p&gt;So I was in my home doing nothing but making some updates to my wifi network when my sister came and something happened between my sister,mother and I my sister 17 year old and me 13 year old went out in a quarrel she called me a psychopath and  she said to me &quot;I will slap you in your face I will poison you and kill you she also went on to tell my mother that I will never be seen agin meanning that she will kill me and no one will no what happened help me this is not a joke I am felling weird!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20604" LastEditorDisplayName="user20604" LastEditDate="2016-01-21T01:42:43.493" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T01:42:43.493" Title="What to do if your threaten be your older sister!" Tags="|discipline|teen|pre-teen|siblings|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-01-21T01:37:22.523" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23731" CreationDate="2016-01-21T01:29:31.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is about a 99% chance she is being dramatic. Sibling rivalry can be intense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this needs to come before the attention of a parent or trusted adult. It is bullying--big time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the 1% chance that you feel your safety is truly threatened, and a parent is not being helpful, you might call the authorities (police). You just described the legal definition of assault in America (but not battery). At 17, your sister could be charged with a crime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, she may benefit from counseling. My understanding is that some Asian cultures have a different concept of mental illness and mental health care in general, but it seems this is pretty straightforward. I'm not sure what kind of services would be available but perhaps a teacher can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T01:29:31.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23699" CreationDate="2016-01-21T02:52:10.193" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;He may just not be ready. It takes a lot of muscles and coordination to swallow, especially if you have to get the stuff from the front of your mouth to the back, and kids learn how at different ages. At 7 months, I don't think there's anything to worry about. I'd start meals with breastmilk or formula, then offer solid or semi-solid foods, and then wrap up with breastmilk or formula. I'd guess for the next couple months at least, most of that solid food will end up coming back out or getting washed down. Around 9 months, I'd switch the order and start with solids or semi-solids, then offer breastmilk or formula.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We went the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyledweaning.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby-led weaning route&lt;/a&gt; and avoided semi-solid foods altogether to avoid the hassle and 'cause mush is gross. If your kid is reaching for your food and acting interested in solids, you could try that approach instead. Basically, you let the kid eat what you're eating as long as it's not an obvious choking/health hazard (grapes, honey) and doesn't require lots of teeth (rare steak, raw carrots). Still, at 7 months, most of the solids came right back out. We had especially good luck with cooked vegetables of all kinds, chicken legs, whole fruit, and cottage cheese.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4399" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T02:52:10.193" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23734" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-21T05:07:01.143" Score="6" ViewCount="2347" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old has been in a new phase lately where he steals things like my husband's expensive new watch. Or, he will steal pens, my lipgloss, etc. We cannot get him to listen no matter what we try. What do I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20608" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T10:04:52.340" Title="3 year old stealing household items" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23714" CreationDate="2016-01-21T07:07:48.200" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pornography is a substance almost, but not quite, entirely unlike sex.  If you want to show the mechanics of inserting &quot;tab A&quot; into &quot;slot B&quot;, then sure, a brief clip might work.  For any other purpose, it's useless at best and highly misleading at worst.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6912" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T07:07:48.200" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23714" CreationDate="2016-01-21T07:21:08.300" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It's unlikely pornography will be a valuable aid in sex education and it might cause psychological damage.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention that books tend to not illustrate the act of intercourse itself. My guess is that the reason for this hinges on the purpose of sex education. According to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://her.oxfordjournals.org/content/17/4/471.full&quot;&gt;meta-analysis of sex education programs in schools&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In the past decades many school-based programs have been designed for the sole purpose of delaying the initiation of sexual activity. There seems to be a growing consensus that schools can play an important role in providing youth with a knowledge base which may allow them to make informed decisions and help them shape a healthy lifestyle (St Leger, 1999).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the two main reasons for teaching children about sexuality, encouraging youth to wait and helping them be healthy, do not require more than a description of vaginal intercourse. For abstinence programs, such illustrations are likely counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I understand your purpose is to satisfy his curiosity. But in my experience as an adolescent boy, it's likely that curiosity will remain unsatisfied. Certainly, I accidently discovered pronography at a (far too) young age, so I knew how the parts fit together, so to speak. That did not address some more important questions that arose in the subsequent years: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What did I find attractive about girls?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would they find me attractive?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Did I really &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to have sex? Maybe I'm gay?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How would sex &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I finally did have my first intercourse experience during our honeymoon, it turns out my knowledge was of no use. What I really needed to learn, and could not have discovered beforehand, was what my wife enjoyed. (And it turns out only some of what she wanted was physical.) What helped immeasurably more was the sex education my parents actually provided which included respecting women as people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's growing scientific interest the possibility of pronography addiction. An &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/&quot;&gt;article published by the NIH&lt;/a&gt; notes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Dr. Nora Volkow, Head of the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), and one of the most published and respected scientists in the field of addiction is, in recognition of the change in the understanding of natural addiction, advocating changing the name of the NIDA to the National Institute on Diseases of Addiction, as quoted in the journal Science: “NIDA Director Nora Volkow also felt that her institute’s name should encompass &lt;em&gt;addictions such as pornography&lt;/em&gt;, gambling, and food, says NIDA adviser Glen Hanson. ‘She would like to send the message that [we should] look at the whole field.’” (emphasis added).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The proposed mechanism for these natural addictions is &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity&quot;&gt;neuroplasticity&lt;/a&gt;. It seems likely that exposure to pornography is most risky for developing brains. Later on, the NIH paper asserts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If pornography addiction is viewed objectively, evidence indicates that it does indeed cause harm in humans with regard to pair-bonding. The correlation (85%) between viewing child pornography and participating in actual sexual relations with children was demonstrated by Bourke and Hernandez. The difficulty in objective peer-reviewed discussion of this topic is again illustrated by the attempted suppression of this data on social grounds. The recent meta-analysis by Hald &lt;em&gt;et al&lt;/em&gt;. strongly supports and clarifies previous data demonstrating correlation with regard to pornography inducing violence attitudes against women.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The science is far from settled, but it doesn't feel like this is an experiment worth trying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4521" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T07:21:08.300" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23734" CreationDate="2016-01-21T08:44:41.803" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are various reason why he/she is doing this. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/morals-manners/stealing-8-ways-prevent-and-discipline-stealing&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is an article with excellent information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some highlights:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like lying, “stealing” is an adult term that may not mean anything to young children. Candy found clutched in a sticky fist after going through a checkout line or a toy car that turns up in the pocket of a four-year-old after a visit to a friend’s house is not proof that your child is already a delinquent. To the preschool child, possession means ownership. In a child’s mind he has a right to anything within grabbing distance. Children under four have difficulty distinguishing between “mine” and “yours.” Everything is potentially “mine.” They don’t know that palming a piece of candy at the grocery store is stealing until you tell them so. In the child’s mind he has done no wrong until the parents pass judgment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers have no concept of ownership. Everything belongs to a two-year-old. Between two and four a child can understand ownership (the toy belongs to someone else), but may not fully believe that the toy doesn’t also belong to him. Even as young as two, begin teaching “mine” and “yours.” During toddler toy squabbles the parent referee can award the toy to the rightful owner, but don’t expect this concept to sink in fully until around the age of four. Look for other opportunities to reinforce the concept of ownership: “This toy belongs to Mary,” “Here’s Billy’s teddy bear,” “Whose shoes are these?” As the child grasps the idea of ownership and the rights that go along with it, teach the logical conclusion that ignoring these rights is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find out what prompts the child to steal. The child who steals habitually despite your teaching about honesty usually has a deep-seated problem that needs fixing. Is the child angry? Does he steal to vent the anger? Does the child need money and feel that stealing is the only way he can get what he believes he needs? If so, offer an allowance. Help him get odd jobs. Help the child learn work ethics so that he can earn the toys instead of steal them. Most of the time a child who habitually steals is suffering from a poor self-image and needs to steal to boost his worth or get attention. As in handling all behavioral problems, it’s often necessary to take inventory of your whole family situation. Does your child need more supervision? Perhaps, some redefining of priorities and reconnecting with your child is in order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The five-year-old finds somebody’s wallet and brings it to you. Praise him to the limit for his action! “Thank you for bringing Mommy the wallet you found. Now let’s see if we can find out who it belongs to. I’ll bet that person will be very happy you found it, just like you would feel if you lost something special and someone returned it.” Avoid saying, “Thank you for telling the truth.” Some children may not even have thought of keeping the wallet, and you don’t want to plant in their minds the option of being dishonest. Whatever praise you give, convey the message that your child did just what you expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19769" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T08:44:41.803" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23734" CreationDate="2016-01-21T12:07:56.010" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are lucky since your boy is 3 yrs old ,meaning he can still be corrected and is not too late,the both parties,both u and your partner must unite by making this work,when u say NO to him ,let your partner support your NO,.The bible says beat the child ,and spear the rod...meaning you must be strict on him before it get too late..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20610" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T12:07:56.010" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23723" CreationDate="2016-01-21T14:14:17.107" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Little humans are incredible things. We're born with a lot of instincts, many of them actually related to climbing &amp;mdash; for instance, if you put your finger into the palm of a newborn baby, they will instinctively grab onto it, even when asleep. This is a throwback to when losing your grip on that tree branch was a fatal mistake! It takes a long time (9 months or so I think, not sure of the exact period) for this instinct to be overridden by a lack of requirement. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, babies are &lt;strong&gt;strong&lt;/strong&gt;. Anyone who has tried to get a small child arching their back into a car seat can attest to that! Relative to their size and weight they are capable of an awful lot more than it looks like they can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirdly, pain is an instinctive response, it's not something you &quot;learn&quot; to pay attention to. If a cat scratches a baby, the baby will cry and likely be scared of the cat. They don't actively seek out a repetition of the pain. In this case, a baby won't wilfully put itself in a position where it is feeling pain, such as attempting to support its weight through its hands before they are ready. It's only as we get older that we learn to be stupid enough to ignore the messages our body sends us!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So essentially, the act of climbing itself won't cause your child any harm &amp;mdash; If they are strong enough to climb, their body is strong enough to take it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There are, however, caveats (as always)&lt;/strong&gt;. While the act of climbing itself isn't harmful, the results of climbing can be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the baby slips, and jolts its arms by instinctively grabbing on (falling reflex), it could theoretically get something like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.rch.org.au/kidsinfo/fact_sheets/Pulled_Elbow/&quot;&gt;Pulled Elbow&lt;/a&gt;. This kind of injury doesn't do lasting damage, but it is sore! It's like dislocating a joint.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The higher your baby climbs, the more like it is to hurt itself if it slips. It's true that babies bounce, but this isn't something to be tested :P&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Attempting to climb a bookshelf (for instance) can lead to things being pulled over on top of them. &lt;strong&gt;THIS IS VERY DANGEROUS&lt;/strong&gt;. If your child is inclined towards climbing, make sure everything climbable in their reach is fixed so that it won't fall over.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As stated in the comments, if there is something they can climb, make sure it doesn't lead to somewhere dangerous. If you think they could climb your stair gate, you need to change it/modify it so they can't. A stair gate is pretty useless if they can just climb over it!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, it's something to be encouraged in the right environments (places that are safe to climb, even consider taking them to a climbing wall (if you're an avid climber then presumably you have places to climb nearby! There are climbing gyms near us that have bouldering areas and similar for toddlers and babies), and it's something to discourage in the wrong environments &amp;mdash; like many other things, there are certain lessons that can't be learnt through experience. You just have to be consistent about saying no to climbing the wrong things (like stair gates!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20091" LastEditorUserId="20091" LastEditDate="2016-01-22T12:13:38.593" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T12:13:38.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23741" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-21T18:36:48.157" Score="0" ViewCount="164" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year old child daydreams a lot. I know daydreaming is essentially a positive thing. However, she misses instructions in class, and is always last because of that - she has to look at the other kids to figure out what the instructions were. Often she's unable to finish her assignments in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, something like putting on her clothes or going to the bathroom can easily take 20 to 30 minutes if I let her daydream.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She sleeps 12 hours a day, which seems enough. What can I do to make her daily activities less affected by daydreaming?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9582" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T01:07:04.903" Title="How to make excessive daydreaming affect daily activities less?" Tags="|pre-schooler|social-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23742" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-21T20:19:27.107" Score="2" ViewCount="3022" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 18-month-old son, who is very active and social, likes to eat only when we allow him to watch rhymes.&#xA;Even though he is super hungry, he refuses to eat (even his favorite food) without watching rhymes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make him eat without screen time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20613" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-04T20:01:33.750" LastActivityDate="2020-08-05T14:09:26.323" Title="How to make my 18-month-old son eat without screen time?" Tags="|toddler|eating|media|screen-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23699" CreationDate="2016-01-21T21:47:00.577" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something I've always done with my little one is to say the word &quot;Chew!&quot; in between making over emphasised chewing motions with my mouth, and then &quot;Swallow!&quot; and making a big gulping swallow so he can see my neck moving. It often amuses him as if it's a bit of a game but does seem to work as it shows by example.&#xA;Also it helps if he's choking a little bit because it makes him stop what he's doing (trying to swallow something a bit too big or dry) and gives him a chance to break it down a bit more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19878" LastActivityDate="2016-01-21T21:47:00.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23699" CreationDate="2016-01-22T00:39:23.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we first started our children on semi-solids, my wife expressed some breast milk and mixed this in. It worked extremely well. It has a familiar taste then, so they know what to do with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T00:39:23.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23742" CreationDate="2016-01-22T00:55:10.067" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your son has developed quite a bad habit there. Eating in front of the television is not good, so I think you'll want to nip this habit in the bud straight away. It might seem harsh, but I really think you should simply wait it out. Don't turn on the TV, no matter what. He'll eat when he gets hungry enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't make a big fuss, and don't engage the child in an argument. Simply tell the child that the television is not going on. The rest is up to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you may want to generally look at how much screen time the child has, and gradually try to reduce it. Less is definitely more in regards to screen time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T00:55:10.067" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23741" CreationDate="2016-01-22T01:07:04.903" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As this is happening primarily at school, it will mostly be up to the teacher to try to engage the child more. There's not a great deal you can do about it yourself. You could give a gentle reminder &quot;now remember to listen carefully to your teacher&quot;, each morning when you drop her off at school. Don't push this too much though, just make it the last thing you say to her each morning.&#xA;Otherwise you could try to find ways to reward good performance at school, like some kind of treat for finishing her work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T01:07:04.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23734" CreationDate="2016-01-22T01:15:49.000" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless your 3 year old is hocking the stuff on ebay, &quot;stealing&quot; is the wrong word to use. A 3 year old may take stuff to play with it, or hide it, but the child is most certainly not &quot;stealing&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't confuse this with adult behaviour. It is completely unrelated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would simply try to point out to the child that this habit of hiding things, causes significant inconvenience to grown-ups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if you're familiar with the &quot;Thomas and Friends&quot; TV programs. The controller in this program has a typical phrase he uses regularly when the trains have misbehaved... &quot;Thomas, you have caused confusion and delay&quot;. We say the same thing to our children. They think it's very funny, but they also know that it means that what they've done is not acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T01:15:49.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23726" CreationDate="2016-01-22T03:15:10.037" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;Realistically, there is only one way to treat this young man and that is to love him, completely and without reservation, forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not easy to diagnose your family's problems from a single 425 word description, but certain tells jump out of your story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure you love the kid, or else you wouldn't be here. His mother and sister love him, too. But you all have to convince the boy of that, and you have to keep reinforcing that conviction every day and every hour. In the long run this is much more important than getting his behavior under control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must have noticed that when he does something constructive, like beginning his homework, and you express admiration and encouragement, he reacts very negatively. Also he is willing to forgo rewards that he values highly rather than comply with small parental requests. These are classic tells for a child who is afraid to be loved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that if he admits that he needs love and approval then there is something you and his mother can withhold when he fails to meet your expectations. And he feels sure he cannot meet your expectations -- probably because he is gay, but also because you and his mother want him to be better than his parents, but you're kinda convinced he won't be. And he might be going crazy (most 12-year-olds think this). And he was very good and took all his meds but he still has ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look at his life from his point of view. His father is in jail. The boy doesn't know how this happened. How does he know that he won't end up in jail too? Then nobody will love him. That would be agony. Better not to need love from anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His mother suffers from ADHD and depression and who knows what else. Obviously you and she think this is a big deal; she's getting treatment. What if he inherits these afflictions from his mother? Then nobody will love him. That would be agony. Better not to need love from anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously he is an unsatisfactory person in his parent's eyes. Why else would he need a regimen of medication? Saying he has ADHD and needs treatment is just another way of saying he is unworthy and naughty. What if he never learns how to be good? Then nobody will love him. That would be agony. Better not to need love from anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What if he is gay? OMG what if his father, you and his mother reject him because he is gay? &lt;em&gt;What if you try to cure him of being gay?&lt;/em&gt; Good luck with that; you couldn't even cure his ADHD. Then nobody will love him etc. etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you beginning to get a sense of the constant unremitting terror that dominates every moment of this young man's life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normally the love between parents and children is so strong that parents can get away with controlling the children's behavior by withholding approval. This lever is unavailable to you; not because of the boy's overwhelming need to misbehave, but because of his fear of the love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course I could be way off. As I said, 425 words is very little to go on. If my answer doesn't make sense to you, or leaves you with a 'so what' or 'blah' reaction, then I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help. But if my answer makes you uncomfortable, then I am probably close to the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't envy you your task. You must bind your family together and teach them that membership is unconditional and inalienable. First, you have to convince yourself. Believe that the mutual acceptance and affection within the family is much more important than the interaction between the family and the rest of the world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20278" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-11T18:45:24.310" LastActivityDate="2018-11-11T18:45:24.310" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23749" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-22T05:22:38.330" Score="5" ViewCount="1506" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am wondering if anyone has any insight on this situation we are in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My boy is 20 month old, hes been able to tell us when he wants to poop for sometime now. He usually poops once a day in the morning and hes done, sometimes he goes a second time in the afternoon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, recently... he's been wanting to poop when hes going to sleep. When we bring him to the toilet, dropped his pants and diapers... he says he's ALL DONE and wants to leave/ play/ move around. Then after, he protests greatly to wearing his diaper back.&#xA;Then after, we can repeat this for as many as 7-8 times! Believing that he really needs to go.. but turns out to be a fake request.&#xA;&lt;em&gt;sometimes he sits downs and pees..and he's ALL DONE&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I dont know if I should ignore his request which could jeopardize what we had before (when he tells us he wants to poop, and he does) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any insights/ advises?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20618" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T15:06:16.330" Title="Fake Poo/ Pee Trips" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|stools|urine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23749" CreationDate="2016-01-22T11:51:39.567" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At some point, children start doing everything they can come up with in order to stay out of bed the longest they can. Drink, eat, hug, pee, poo, light, change diaper - that was our daughter's list. She requested all those things in random order every evening; sometimes we complied, sometimes not - until we said &lt;em&gt;enough&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is only one thing to do: you have to decide what - how many times - you allow him to do after going to bed and stick to it (in our case we allowed water and some hugs). &lt;em&gt;You're in bed now - no peeing or pooping in the potty, do what you must, but in the diaper.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a short &quot;no exceptions&quot; period (a week or so) when we didn't comply with any of her requests, she severely limited them. After a longer period, she's stopped fussing seeing that it doesn't work. And now, when she wants something, we usually let her have/do it, because she usually really does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, the advice is as usual in parenting: do what you think is right and be consistent. Your boy will adapt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastEditorUserId="6061" LastEditDate="2016-01-22T13:43:40.037" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T13:43:40.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23751" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23753" CreationDate="2016-01-22T14:48:10.283" Score="1" ViewCount="260" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-month-old son is sleeping more during during the day. In the night he starts his sleep only from 5 am. I am breastfeeding him. I also give formula thrice in a day, once in the evening and two times after 9 pm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What shall I do to make him sleep through the night?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20621" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-04T14:12:48.867" LastActivityDate="2019-09-06T08:23:54.077" Title="How to make my 2-month-old sleep through the night?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|bedtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23749" CreationDate="2016-01-22T15:06:16.330" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Odds are it's as Dariusz says, just delaying bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, do consider the possibility that he's constipated, also.  Our two year old (who's completely potty trained now) has this happen periodically, where he says he needs to poop, then tries, can't, then does it again twenty minutes later.  Typically it's because he's a bit constipated (as he tends to anyways, he's our worse vegetable eater); it's not delaying (and often not at times where delaying makes sense), it's just feeling constipated and legitimately responding to the feeling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's only happening at bedtime, it's probably just delaying, but keep this in mind if it happens at other times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T15:06:16.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23751" CreationDate="2016-01-22T15:35:02.410" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some kids that young are just not on the day/night clock yet:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Most infants take about 12 weeks to show day-night rhythms in the production of melatonin, the “sleep hormone” (Rivkees 2003). Circadian changes in cortisol--a hormone that helps regulate waking--may take even longer to emerge (Rivkees 2003). And, overall, babies may take 3-5 months before they “settle” at night--meaning that they sleep for more than 5 hours at a stretch (Jenni et al 2006; Pinilla and Birch 1993). - See more at: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/newborn-sleep.html#sthash.dJ3oezEQ.dpuf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com/newborn-sleep.html#sthash.dJ3oezEQ.dpuf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try a few things to get your kid on the right schedule though:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure he gets exposure to natural light&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Minimize stimulation when they do wake up at night (don't talk or sing or turn on the lights, just feed or diaper and go back to bed)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play hard during the day - make sure your kiddo gets lots of stimulation and activity during the day&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to limit daytime sleep to about 2.5 hours at a stretch&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For that last one, I'm not saying wake him up after 2.5 hours, but you could open the door to his room or raise the shades and let him wake up. You definitely need to help him see the distinction between &quot;dark sleeping time&quot; and &quot;bright waking time&quot; even at naptime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4399" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T15:35:02.410" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23754" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-22T19:27:28.983" Score="2" ViewCount="22994" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 5 year old boy has been sleeping at night in the same bed as his single mother for basically his whole life, although he has his own bedroom and his own bed.  They go to sleep together at the boy's bedtime and the mom gets up after the child is asleep (sometimes).  Is a boy this age sleeping with his mom common?  At what age should it stop? (Yes, this is a relative.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-05T12:15:44.900" LastActivityDate="2019-06-14T20:10:23.663" Title="What age to stop son from sleeping in same bed as Mother?" Tags="|pre-schooler|age-appropriate|mother|bed-sharing|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23755" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-22T19:32:38.483" Score="1" ViewCount="347" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it normal for a 2 year old to throw a fit, crying, clinging to me, saying no, stay mommy, when her father comes to get her? She doesn't do it if she gets dropped off at her grandparents' house or great grandparents' house. She only does this at her dads, or if he comes to pick her up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is giving me extreme anxiety. I want her to enjoy going with her dad, but this behavior does not seem right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20626" LastEditorUserId="1592" LastEditDate="2016-01-23T13:06:26.200" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T19:50:55.960" Title="2 year old leaving with daddy" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23754" CreationDate="2016-01-22T20:02:38.740" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is exactly one age when this should stop:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When one of the individuals concerned is no longer happy with the sleeping arrangements.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming that your real question is somewhere along the lines of &quot;Is this going to mess with the development of the five yo., sexually or otherwise?&quot; - No, he will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-01-22T23:27:57.443" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T23:27:57.443" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23754" CreationDate="2016-01-22T22:25:02.540" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can reference my own experience here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 5-year sleeps on our bed. He goes to be in his own bed, and gets up and moved to our bed in the middle of the night. He is turning 5 shortly, and recently he has had nights where he doesn't go to our bed. Most nights he sleeps in our bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made the decision to neither encourage nor discourage co-sleeping with our kids. We put them to bed in their own beds, but if they want to move into our bed they can. There are many reason for this, and many of them are practical. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have noticed that among other parents of toddlers and pre-schoolers, IF you practice co-sleeping, many kids are still in their parents bed at this age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-01-22T22:25:02.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23754" CreationDate="2016-01-23T04:50:13.743" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it really depends on the situation. If the mom and kid are by themselves (no father present) then it probably makes more sense that they would sleep in the same bed. I'm sure there will come a day fairly soon where that will no longer be the case. I really don't think its a big deal at this point in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As parents of two boys(6 &amp;amp; 4), my wife and I tuck them into bed every night. Some nights (maybe once every 2-3 weeks) one of the boys ends up in our bedroom for a variety of reasons: cold/hot, couldn't sleep, scared of some noise or the weather, etc. When that happens, we usually let them stay for a little while until they fall asleep and then tuck them back in their own bed.&#xA;I will also add that when our boys do come into our bed, they almost always sleep on my wife's side of the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1592" LastActivityDate="2016-01-23T04:50:13.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23759" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-23T07:06:52.930" Score="1" ViewCount="161" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a working woman and a single mother. The last few days my child has become distressed while sleeping; she is 6 years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will start crying out as if in pain at night and though I always try to stop her, she doesn't respond and continues being in distress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most often she's grinding her teeth. I am very upset by the and need help to resolve this issue as soon as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20629" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2016-01-23T15:24:45.887" LastActivityDate="2016-01-24T01:35:54.753" Title="Children screaming and crying while sleeping" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23760" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23772" CreationDate="2016-01-23T10:31:18.523" Score="7" ViewCount="3277" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to start this by saying that as a family we pretty much eat all home-cooked food.  My wife and I take turns to cook and I think we're both pretty good cooks.  We certainly enjoy each others cooking and we cook a pretty wide range of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest son, who's now 10 was a fairly picky eater but over the years we've managed to coax him into eating the meals we make at dinner time.  He doesn't eat a large quantity (unlike with junk food) but he does eat and he has some favorite meals etc which is great. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, his little brother has turned out to be SO much pickier that I wouldn't believe it possible.  He's 4, generally quite a well behaved little boy but at around the age of 1 limited himself to these foods and nothing else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sausages&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fish fingers&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Chips&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Banna, chopped in a bowl&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Toast/bagels (usually with marmite on)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Peperoni pizza&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Paella (he just eats the chorizo we put in)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you can see, it's a very unbalanced diet and I'm a bit embarrassed by it :-(  We have tried many many MANY methods of trying to get him to try other things..  We've cut veggies into little shapes..  we've tried to make a game of eating things, we've made lots of special meals aimed at him to try and get him to try ANYTHING new.  We've refused to provide any of the above foods (he went hungry for almost 2 days, cried like crazy and eventually we caved and gave him something he'd actually eat).  We're now running out of ideas.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be interested to know if anyone has had similar problems, how they resolved them, and if anyone has had to get any kind of professional help with this type of problem..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;: I should add that 3 years ago we read that the best thing to do was to simply offer them good food each day and not to fight with them..  We've spent the last 3 years not fighting much but throwing said offered food in the bin, every night...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11195" LastEditorUserId="11195" LastEditDate="2016-01-23T11:38:23.653" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T16:59:24.803" Title="What to do about a 4 year old that's unbelievably picky about food" Tags="|eating|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23761" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-23T12:55:06.763" Score="2" ViewCount="2550" Body="&lt;p&gt;He refuses to swallow or spit out his food. We are at a loss on how to combat this issue as he won't just hold it in his mouth for half n hour. We are talking 3 HOURS + HERE! The only reason he spat it out after 3 hours is because we ended up telling him to swallow it sternly and he got upset and spat it out involuntarily because he started crying.  And it isn't towards the end of the meal either. It's become the first bite he will do it. Our rule is that when he starts pocketing food, we don't make him eat anymore. We take the food away but he is not allowed to leave the table until he swallows what is in his mouth. He also refuses to spit it out or even open his mouth. I have had to try and scoop it out of his mouth before because he can't go to bed with food in his mouth as it's a choking hazard and he will just bite down on my finger. And it is also all sorts of food. Not just food he doesn't like. We can tell it is for attention and stubborness but has anyone had their child do this for 3 hrs at a time?? We are starting to wonder if there could be possible psychological issues going on as we know he can chew and swallow fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20630" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T15:06:06.447" Title="34 month old refuses to swallow or spit out food" Tags="|toddler|behavior|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23760" CreationDate="2016-01-24T00:02:39.120" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a very fussy eater until my mid teens. Nothing would have convinced me to eat more widely. Once your are on a limited diet new foods do genuinely repulse you. Everything becomes an &quot;acquired taste&quot;. You may as well be trying to feed him slugs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if it helps, I remember texture being more of an issue than flavour.Maybe try very bland looking liquidy soups or purees? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe try small steps e.g.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;chips -&gt;&#xA;wedges -&gt;&#xA;jacket potato -&gt;&#xA;boiled potato -&gt;&#xA;boiled white sweet potato -&gt;&#xA;sweet potato -&gt;&#xA;overdone carrots -&gt;&#xA;carrots -&gt; raw carrots&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding the spoonfull suggestion. There is a lot of merit in this. When I started eating more widely it was because Iforced myself to. Mostly due to peer pressure. The first few times a I ate something new I really had to stop myself gagging. This deep end approach may work, as long as you pick something genuinely really tasty. I suggest petit pois. These are essentially sweets in the form of a green vegetable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20633" LastEditorUserId="20633" LastEditDate="2016-01-25T17:58:32.683" LastActivityDate="2016-01-25T17:58:32.683" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23742" CreationDate="2016-01-24T00:11:04.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put the TV away for a couple of weeks. Tell him it is broken. Show him the space where it was to prove to him it has gone. If you convince him the TV is no longer an option hell accept the situation more readily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20633" LastActivityDate="2016-01-24T00:11:04.820" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23759" CreationDate="2016-01-24T01:35:54.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son used to do this, supposedly they are common with younger children. Night terrors are what they call them. My son gradually stopped when in the morning I would ask him what he dreamed, sometimes he remembered and sometimes no. I would explain to him that each thing was not real and that he was safe. I also cut out all cartoons with violence for a long long time all he watched was Thomas and veggie tales, he stopped having the night terrors. Good luck, I know its hard and it can be frustrating trying to console a screaming child awake or no, I used to carry mine for hours outside and around the house until they realized it was only a dream. Best of luck, I assure you it will get better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20634" LastActivityDate="2016-01-24T01:35:54.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23766" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24098" CreationDate="2016-01-24T14:54:13.020" Score="7" ViewCount="19007" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2.5 year old is fascinated by forward rolls and attempts to do them on the floor and on the bed. He is not afraid of hurting himself, he also dives head first into the bed and such. &#xA;I worry about him injuring his neck, because he is fearless and strong, and because his head is still so large so he cannot tuck it in as much as i can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, i have not been able to find any reliable information online about toddlers and the risks of forward rolls. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7062" LastActivityDate="2020-11-17T08:02:28.490" Title="Are forward rolls dangerous for young children?" Tags="|toddler|activities|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23767" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-24T16:21:07.697" Score="2" ViewCount="763" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 16 months old, he is a picky eater and we are dealing with his poor eating habits from the get go (now going to a special clinic). As for now, I'm breastfeeding him 50/50 with real food. Whenever he gets sick he loses his appetite and stops eating! He demands I breastfeed him more, but I don't have enough milk to give him a full meal. It's like we need to work with him from scratch again :(. He refuses to put food in his mouth and that worries me alot! it's been 4 days since he ate something, only milk from me. He also refuses to take milk from a bottle so I can't give him formula. He is not sick anymore. and this time he is more stubborn about not eating.&#xA;We are going to his doctor tomorrow morning, but I don't think she can help us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20636" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T15:22:58.043" Title="How to deal with a loss of appetite with a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|food|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23768" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-24T17:12:34.230" Score="1" ViewCount="133" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is my third child, and so I'm not too worried, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on how to encourage or work towards combining sounds a toddler already knows (in this case &quot;s&quot; with any other sounds) into more complex sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My toddler can make multiple syllables of various sorts, and can make all the vowel sounds I give him. I will occasionally run him through a particular consonant combined with all the vowels following (gee gih gai gah guh goo goh, etc), which he does well enough for many consonants. He can make an &quot;s&quot; sound, but when I start with &quot;see&quot; or &quot;sah&quot; he uses something between a &quot;t&quot; and &quot;d&quot;. It's the same with any word I try to get him to say starting with &quot;s&quot; :-/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, not too worried (he'll figure it out eventually), but would love to hear any other ideas on games or ways to encourage it :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4973" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T06:31:03.510" Title="Combining sounds to simple words" Tags="|toddler|speech|games|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23769" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-24T20:34:43.730" Score="0" ViewCount="5858" Body="&lt;p&gt;At what age is it normal for a child to begin showing signs of jealousy of other children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I ask because my 13-month-old God daughter seemed like she was a little resentful of another child who was visiting at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14022" LastEditorUserId="14022" LastEditDate="2016-01-27T16:02:57.393" LastActivityDate="2019-02-27T03:29:42.480" Title="When does a child start showing jealousy?" Tags="|behavior|development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18227" CreationDate="2016-01-25T09:37:37.210" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;By the way, my son's phase passed very quickly and I'll tell everyone what worked for us. We made him a little photo album filled with about 20 pictures of all his favorite people and a little rhyme on each page. He loved to look at it and had to keep his eyes open to do so, and to tell him classmates and teachers about who is in the book. It was gold! This way too, if he missed us he just looked at the book. Plus, we had the luxury of keeping him home with us during Christmas break for 2 weeks and the break seriously helped. He's a whole different kid now at preschool and doesn't close his eyes at all anymore. Just a quirky phase! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20640" LastActivityDate="2016-01-25T09:37:37.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23760" CreationDate="2016-01-25T13:28:59.960" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;limited himself to these foods&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but this doesn't make sense. A four year old can't buy or prepare himself food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's not underweight and has no relevant underlying medical problem, the reason he is eating only these foods is because you're offering them to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm confident that this is a fairly simple limit/boundary-setting problem, not least because of the specificity here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Banana, chopped in a bowl&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He won't eat a banana unless it's chopped? That's a behavioral issue caused by your interactions with him at mealtimes and your normal and understandable concern that he eats enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can &lt;strong&gt;help your kids learn to enjoy&lt;/strong&gt; the food you cook. Simply:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cook an unchallenging but nutritional meal.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give it to your family on some plates.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That's it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't give your child &lt;strong&gt;attention for not eating something&lt;/strong&gt;. Don't say &quot;this is yummy&quot;, do not mix things or cut things that don't need cutting. (If things do need cutting, cut them before interacting with your child.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In particular, don't try to &quot;help&quot; your child eat (unless they physically need help). What a child swallows is pretty much &lt;strong&gt;the only thing in his life he can control&lt;/strong&gt;. Since you cannot help or encourage a child to eat something against their will, such interactions can only cause behavioral problems.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't say &quot;you like this&quot; or &quot;you liked this last week&quot;. Don't talk about liking or disliking.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't use emotional or &quot;moral&quot; language about food (&quot;I cooked this so you should appreciate it!&quot;).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't show you are anxious, angry, whatever.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't worry about wasted food. You live (I assume) in a developed nation in the 21st century. When you solve the problem, there will be minimal waste.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't give him anything different.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be summed up with by pretty much like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ignore the food aspect of mealtimes&lt;/strong&gt;. If you do talk about the food, use non-emotive, descriptive language - this is sour, this is sweet. All food is &lt;em&gt;interesting&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the child say's &quot;I don't like this&quot; simply respond, &quot;Oh, you will when you're older&quot;. It's worth repeating; &lt;strong&gt;do not give this more attention&lt;/strong&gt;. Move the conversation on, perhaps to his brother. (But obviously, not about what he is &lt;strong&gt;eating&lt;/strong&gt;!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the child says &quot;I'm still hungry&quot;, simply respond, &quot;That's all there is. Are you done?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you have cleared the uneaten food away, you may still offer for example chopped fruit (to &lt;em&gt;everyone&lt;/em&gt;, ideally on a sharing plate) for pudding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wash up, and repeat next meal time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is a big enough problem for you - and it clearly is, because you care about helping your children eat well, then you may need to put up with a few disrupted nights until the child learns to eat enough at supper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also may need to accept that there are foods such as eg. salad leaves that your child may not willingly eat until they're much older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're just throwing food away, and your child is not underweight, &lt;strong&gt;he's getting enough calories in other meals&lt;/strong&gt;; presumably food from the list. You can solve this by &lt;strong&gt;reducing portion sizes&lt;/strong&gt; in those meals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if he goes to preschool or daycare, I'm wondering how he eats there? :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! Let us know how you get on?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit: bringing chat comments into answer&lt;/strong&gt; and highlighting interesting points. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, this case appears to be a problem of &lt;strong&gt;portion sizes&lt;/strong&gt; - too much food of one type (bland or sugary bread) for breakfast and lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;So, yes, this is the standard type of advice I've read before and we originally tried to follow 2/3 years ago when we first realized he was a fussy eater. We all sit together each night and eat and my little son simply sits there and doesn't eat, we don't get cross or do any of the things you mention. You are right of course that we do end up offering him these types of foods. We withhold food that he eats. He doesn't eat it.. for weeks. he gets by on little bits of bread that he can get access to at different times in the day. breakfast etc. We feel bad that he only eats bread. it goes on – Benj yesterday&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Is he underweight? Have you seen a doctor? Is he under your supervision all the time? – MontyBom yesterday   &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;No... &lt;strong&gt;he's actually his &quot;ideal&quot; weight.. amazingly&lt;/strong&gt;. He goes to nursery for 1/2 days. – Benj yesterday &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Of course he is! That's why he's not eating any more. The situation you're describing is physically impossible. He is eating enough food (or juice - full of calories) somewhere, either in your care or at daycare. Google for appropriate portion sizes. – MontyBom yesterday   &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't snack... and has only water and tea.. but he does eat large breakfasts and lunches.. because for those meals we tend to give him breadish type things, bagels etc.. Perhaps we should stop giving him things he likes for breakfast.. – Benj yesterday &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;To be clear, &lt;strong&gt;he's getting enough food, and then he's doing what every child does&lt;/strong&gt; which is to eat the &quot;easy&quot;, familiar, bland food in preference to the &quot;harder&quot; food until he is full. He is full and his weight is fine. He's therefore perfectly normal. I think you need to &lt;strong&gt;change his portion sizes and keep a closer eye on what he's eating at home and at daycare&lt;/strong&gt;. The calories must be coming from somewhere! – MontyBom yesterday   &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Yes, that's what I mean.. He's getting all his calories at breakfast and lunch I think.. Maybe we could make them smaller.. – Benj yesterday &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I think you've hit it! Bread and bagels are full of sugar and are very filling. Try a boiled egg and don't forget to Google portion sizes! I think you'll be amazed! – MontyBom yesterday   &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ok, will give it a try, thanks for chatting ;-) – Benj yesterday&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20194" LastEditorUserId="20194" LastEditDate="2016-01-27T11:48:44.540" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T11:48:44.540" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23760" CreationDate="2016-01-25T14:23:48.633" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One approach that can work is to put a teaspoonful of a disliked food on the plate and insist that it be eaten. Once you have broken though his refusal to eat it on principle, you can gradually increase the amount.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-01-25T14:23:48.633" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23465" CreationDate="2016-01-26T00:52:57.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many aggressive children are simply not getting enough exercise. However, your situation seems more trigger related.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Close supervision with immediate consequences would be my best suggestion. Sending your child out for a play date without your presence seems like a bad idea. You know his triggers; you know when he needs to be pulled out of a situation. He will reach an age where it will be embarrassing to do so, so now is the time to observe and correct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the child psychologist, do you have a goal in mind other than I want him to stop? His kindergarten teacher and school guidance counselor might be a good initial resource, and they will not hesitate to refer you if they see the need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T00:52:57.143" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2016-01-26T04:12:49.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think bacon and eggs is a good breakfast item, but you should have them eat a variety of foods for breakfast. In the long term, if you eat too many pieces of bacon and/or fried eggs, it won't be healthy, as both are high in fat, and the bacon may contain chemicals. They hold a lot of protein, so that is a good thing, but your children may also tire of eating it if they have it every day. A variety of breakfast foods is the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20644" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T04:12:49.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23777" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-26T11:28:41.493" Score="0" ViewCount="3142" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is 13 months old. She is breast fed, eats solids but doesn't eat a lot during supper time. Apparently she eats well at day care. She wakes 3 to 4 times at night and sometimes every hour. Twice I have ended up force feeding her baby porridge during one of these wakings and then she sleeps through till the next morning. She is definitely hungry. When we eat dinner she nibbles and I can't get her to eat more than she wants to. She has no problem eating biscuits and chips after supper so there is clearly space. I have now taken the chips and biscuits away completely. She refuses to have formula or a bottle of expressed milk - which I could add porridge to. How can I get her to eat more on her own so that she can be full and sleep longer at night without force feeding her? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20648" LastActivityDate="2017-11-23T05:00:18.867" Title="How can I get my 13 month old to eat better and sleep through the night?" Tags="|sleep|food|sleep-deprivation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21845" CreationDate="2016-01-26T17:13:16.897" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Despite being hard, college is fun, probably the last hurrah of your youth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, you really can't get a job at all without a college degree unless it's working in a store/restaurant.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could explain that with a college degree, you atleast stand a chance for finding work again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all else fails, explain life is unfair but don't make it harder for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14847" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T17:13:16.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23781" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-26T17:23:50.623" Score="4" ViewCount="290" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a native english-speaker. My wife is bi-lingual. &#xA;She speaks only Spanish to our son, and only english with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I made the mistake to choose to speak spanish to him only because it sounded 'warmer' and he understood it more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next month he will start kindergarten only in english. &#xA;He also watches a ton of youtube videos all in english.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should i just start speaking 100% english to him right now?&#xA;what else can i do to bring him up to speed so he is equally strong in both.. lets say 1 year from now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I forgot to mention that we live in Argentina!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17105" LastEditorUserId="17105" LastEditDate="2016-01-28T17:30:42.870" LastActivityDate="2016-03-25T12:18:00.683" Title="I need a Bi-lingual strategy for my 3yr old" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11601" CreationDate="2016-01-26T17:47:26.007" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I only have a little to add, but I had a childhood friend who was adopted, she had about 4 older siblings ( biological, but some from another marriage i think.  I never got to meet them ).  She was told right from the beginning she was adopted so she had faced the reality early and was quite spunky and proud, dismissive of the fact.  Reading the above messages made me lol about siblings, she had an older brother or two who would roughhouse with her and she gave it all back.  For this reason I thought being honest early was good, and I see where the older biological siblings thing comes in handy.  Ultimately I think they would feel protective, unless they thought the adopted one was being favored.  But that's typical older sibling stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also had an adopted friend in college, he found out by accident when he was 19 or so.  And his younger sister was adopted too, maybe 5 year difference ( he still didn't notice his mother was never pregnant lol ).  So here is adopted + adopted.  They were super different but pretty attached to each other.  To be honest the younger sister basically owned him because he was a softie and they hug like a lot.  I don't think it was great to keep a secret that long but they seemed well past the point of melting down about it.  He eventually reconnected with his biological parents but they were unsavory.  It would have been better if they connected sooner though, because he had to have emergency surgery to remove cancer that was genetic in his family and killed his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14847" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T17:47:26.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23781" CreationDate="2016-01-26T17:49:42.333" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not qualified to give you a real response as I am not a professional in this field in anyway, but I am bilingual and my mother taught me how she made both my sister and I fluent in both Korean and English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, she made sure only to speak in Korean with me, while I was learning English in an American school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also made sure that I NEVER mixed both languages and had me speak either fully in Korean or English. This was extremely important because it made me learn words for both languages rather than cherry picking easy words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She taught us elementary school level Korean during summer and winter vacation while we were in elementary school (I only went to an American school).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally she exposed us to Korean media by leaving the TV on Korean shows while we were playing. We would constanly be exposed to Korean at anytime, and would  tell us what certain words that was spoken on the TV meant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on my experience, I would suggest speaking to him in the language he wont be learning in kindergarden (Spanish) as he will naturally speak English with his friends and teachers. I would also suggest to keep an eye on his educational progress in English and teach at a similar level education in Spanish. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he NEVER mixes both languages when he speaks and make him choose to either speak in English or Spanish. You could also watch some videos together in Spanish and teach him words that he does not know the meaning of.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems you are planning on having your son be educated fully in English through the school system, which would mean he would communicate in English most of the time outside of your household. Which would make English his dominate language (As I am).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I am not a professional in this area in any way and this is 100% based on my personal experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20651" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T17:49:42.333" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23646" CreationDate="2016-01-26T18:06:34.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I remember even in jr. high I wanted to go to school in shorts when it was winter..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe ask them to try their decision first and see if it suits the weather outside ( couple min break to go step outside and see if they feel terrible ).  Maybe get their critical thinking going instead of what they feel like wearing without context.  Depending on how young they are, you could guide their thought process &quot;see, it's raining, you need to wear a raincoat&quot;.  Older kids might need to make the connection themself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;experience: my exasperated mom of stubborn jr high student, challenging me to stand outside for a few minutes to see if I still think it's a good idea.  &lt;strong&gt;plot twist:&lt;/strong&gt; it usually wasn't.  But if it was I got my way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14847" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T18:06:34.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23785" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20940" CreationDate="2016-01-26T18:26:14.133" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;With the smiling and such during his party while he is refusing the fun, it seems he gets jollies out of crushing you.  This bit makes me think you feed him big reactions, or show you care a lot and he would rather mess with you for fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd wonder, does he say these things and behave this way when you're not around?  My brother (28) refuses to talk in depth with my mom, though he lives at home.  It's a lot of yes's and no's that sound pretty curt and he gets frustrated with her easily.  She is the type that gives big reactions but isn't very good at understanding him and his ( large ) privacy boundaries.  She often thinks he hates her, but he doesn't.  He's quite stable with everyone else, and has friends he hangs out with but he never talks about.  In this case I wonder if your son uses you for abusive entertainment while you're around, and has a separate life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the other parts are troubling though.  I do wonder if he has enough friends at school, and if the stress is getting to him.  The whole eating himself to obesity and such, sounds pretty self-defeating, I wouldn't want to joke about myself like that.  It sounds bad, but if you can convince him to have a serious talk with you, no challenges and emotions under control, that'd be nice.  It's tough though.  I feel like he needs a counselor/psychologist, but it's important he doesn't feel forced to do so or he may rebel.  And trying to talk to him without abuse games involved would be great..  Another thing, I needed counseling in high school because it was rough, but I refused to go to the school counselor because I was scared people would make fun of me.  So if he has a bad social life at school, you might want to try one outside of school so his social status doesn't feel more threatened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a little abusive to my mom sometimes in high school because I was having an awful time at school ( no friends ) and she had recently changed jobs leaving no time to talk to me after work, so sometimes I got on her nerves on purpose to get a rise out of her.  She tried to get me to do positive things too but I was too scared and it all seemed impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14847" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T18:26:14.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23781" CreationDate="2016-01-26T21:50:16.177" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am bilingual and an immigrant too. I speak Hindi, English and my wife speaks Malayalam, French, English among other languages. Assuming you are in an English speaking country like the USA, then I suggest you both speak &lt;strong&gt;only English&lt;/strong&gt; to him in the home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reason? It is tough to speak two languages equally fluently especially when one is learning both at the same time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why choose English? As a parent, I am sure you want your child to be on an equal footing in school, college and the workplace with native English speakers. &lt;strong&gt;After your child's grasp of English is strong, then you should also include Spanish at home so he will be in touch with his heritage. He will thank you for giving him a competitive strength in this world.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are far stronger and more fluent in English than we are in our 'mother tongues'. We think in English, not in Hindi/Malayalam. This has helped us. If we were strong in our 'mother tongues' and spoke and wrote broken English, we would be at a disadvantage in today's highly competitive workplace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People may not like this answer because it says that we give English 'a higher place', or consider it to be more important. It goes against the narrative that &quot;all languages are equal&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13456" LastEditorUserId="13456" LastEditDate="2016-03-25T12:18:00.683" LastActivityDate="2016-03-25T12:18:00.683" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23789" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23767" CreationDate="2016-01-26T23:12:50.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really feel for you as have been through the same thing, my son is now 21 and still picky, (sorry) but he has two older sisters and one younger brother of 12 years. The two older ones never had a problem with them but when their brother came along wow was he different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he had breakfast, just toddling, he would keep it in his mouth all day, not swallow and like you wouldn't eat for days. We also went to a clinic and because he was not losing weight and was 'on the line' we got no help.  10 years later (yes!) we had another child and I vowed he would not be the same so he ate what we ate I didn't give choices. If he saw his brothers food of dry chicken and bread (woo hoo) I just told him it was not good to eat just that all his life and it was not an option and stuck to my guns and he is a brilliant eater.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm trying to tell you by experience is do not pander to him, he will not starve himself, it won't happen, be strong. I was not, if he didn't eat I would panic in case he starved himself so gave him chicken nuggets and before you know it that's all he was eating. Because you are breastfeeding/bottle he is relying on that and as long as you offer it he is ok with that, why should he try hard food, to much effort.  I breastfed my children but eventually you have to make the changeover (I do know people who breastfeed at 6 but am sure they eat well also).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I went to the clinic I told them &quot;he eats chicken, bread and chips&quot; but that was ok with them, I said &quot;what about the 5 a day veggies&quot; they said don't worry, he will grow out of it but he didn't. Giving him what he wanted he never asked to try something different, he wouldn't would he? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been absolute stress all these years. When he was 16 we referred him for the last time and they told me what do you do when you go to restaurants and I said make sure there is &quot;William food&quot; on the menu, and she said so he has been controlling where you eat for 16 years! and I thought &quot;yes she is right, every time we went out (and it was not often!) we would have to make sure there was chicken on the menu with no sauce or anything! And her advice was go Chinese, Indian or whatever and if he just has ice cream or whatever that's how it should be, he will eventually come round. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Too late advice when they are 16 I might add! Please just dish up the same, someone also told me a child refuses a food maybe 15 times before they just pick it up and eat it!  Be strong, he will not starve, they can be very stubborn, and just testing the boundaries as I might add my 12 year old at the moment, and unfortunately they keep doing this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me just add I'm just a mum not  a doctor, but have had 4 children and they are all still alive even the picky one! Get him checked but I'm sure it's battle of the strongest here!  Also remember there may be something they just don't like, 2nd daughter has never liked peas, and 4th never like mushrooms but hey I can live with that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20654" LastEditorDisplayName="user12035" LastEditDate="2018-04-08T15:22:58.043" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T15:22:58.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23781" CreationDate="2016-01-26T23:14:29.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The one parent-one language policy is popular in many advice books on how to raise bilingual children, that said many policies work provided that the child gets enough exposure to each language (ballpark of 20+ hours each)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Different language communities have different customs on language switching. In the Philippines, US boarder with Mexico, hipster Scandinavians rapidly switch back and forth and mix them up. Other communities switch from one to the other and don't mix much. Everyone is expected to live up to the standards of their community (i.e. expectations on how much language switching is acceptable), but that shouldn't be confused with if it causes problems. In &quot;Babel No More&quot; the author describes communities in India where families switch among up to five languages as just ordinary business. With enough exposure, kids have a huge capacity to deal with linguistic complexity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as language strength goes, at school you learn to read and write. This is a order of magnitude more complex than colloquial chit chat at home. The more likely problem is in a few years, your child will be native fluent in English and read and write it, but merely speak Spanish very well and will be less able to read and write in Spanish than his counterparts abroad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I follow this tag &amp;amp; generally the favored genre of answers is &quot;uninformed cautionary tales&quot;, lots of fear and loathing.. However, I can only think of one &lt;em&gt;informed&lt;/em&gt; cautionary tale, which is that if you aren't fully fluent in Spanish, you might have a better relationship with your children using your better language. As long as your wife continues to only speak Spanish, it won't lessen their progress in Spanish. On the other hand if you have balanced fluency between your English and Spanish then I wouldn't worry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2294" LastActivityDate="2016-01-26T23:14:29.833" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23760" CreationDate="2016-01-26T23:34:59.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with all the above, we have had 21 years of hell/stress, didn't eat out because there was nothing he could eat, before you turn around you have not had a life, last child completely different all same meals, if he didn't eat it, he went hungry. I was a lot tougher as I just couldn't go through that again and I knew he would not die from starvation. (10 years difference) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be strong, don't give in, nip it now as when they get older it won't change unless they want it to. (and it sends you nuts!!) By being strong you are giving him a life of various foods and being able to eat anywhere, by pandering to him you are giving him a life of well not just limited food but not going out with his mates for a curry, not eating popcorn at the cinema, think! You must be cruel to be kind for his sake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20654" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T16:59:24.803" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T16:59:24.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2016-01-26T23:39:22.827" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not normally one to advocate the subject much but according to recent studies and trends one might consider that neither are &quot;good&quot; for you. Here's just &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tamasidr.com/plant-based-diet-veganvegetarian-vs-meat-eating-diet-predan-medical-perspective/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;one article&lt;/a&gt; about the health studies between plant based and carnivorous diets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke2LtkDXZrI&amp;amp;feature=youtu.be&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This is an interesting conference&lt;/a&gt; where a nutritionist explained the latest discoveries in meat composition that was connected to rigor mortis and the human body's inability to process a certain property, which was linked to heart disease, diabetes, and other common health ailments afflicting the majority of the US.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, from a parental perspective, my kids are pretty picky. We try to raise them on all organic, home prepared foods, but obviously that can be impossible unless you pretty much live in a cave. Through any number of influences our kids end up wanting certain foods, candies, treats, etc and they're kids so they should have a good time and if they later choose to go all organic and vegan then good for them. If not, it's their lives so they can choose that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They have nitrate free turkey bacon. Tastes pretty good. You can get it at any Super Target. Some will argue the nitrates in celery juice are basically the same thing as added nitrates. Not sure but from a general health standpoint the consensus is still that turkey bacon is less harmful than pork or beef.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Organic cage free eggs are available, and if you're a member of Costco they're pretty much no more expensive than normal eggs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a health and protein intake perspective you are probably doing well to feed your kids an egg and some bacon several times a week to facilitate the proteins and fats they may otherwise not be getting. Argumentatively you can also achieve the same levels from a hand full of nuts and some easily kid prepared beans and rice based burritos. But I know that can be a challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something you may think about - It's a personal challenge for any parent to overcome the wiles of child food related insanity. Should you manage to interest them in omelettes, burritos, smoothies, etc. Consider that a huge amount of the daily nutrient profile can be achieved with a very small amount of vegetable super foods, like broccoli, kale, nuts, etc. I mean indistinguishable levels. You can puree kale and broccoli down to micro bits and mix them into an omelette. By that point you could probably give them a cup of kool aid and doritos and they would still have absorbed more vitamins than most kids get in a whole day. (not advising to do that, but just saying...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've been working hard to overcome our kid's food related chaos. We achieve a high nutrition intake from clever use of common foods, and occasionally battle their cuteness winning us over and getting them a mcdonald's cheeseburger, which probably undoes most of our hard work. But it keeps them sane, and they largely welcome our ventures into super foods disguised as tasty kid foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarize though - residing back to your question - yeah, there are serious health implications coupling the decision to eat bacon and eggs daily. Highly provable medical concerns even, but they revolve around the entire agricultural industry and not specifically meat or animal products. The optimal decision would be as close to plant based as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would cite more links, but any google search on vegan diets will give you the information to support this. The lecture I referred to had some disheartening information (especially since I love me some chicken, which they identify as WORSE for you than beef!)  but it is a pretty interesting video and it's changing how I feel I will plan meals for my kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="13274" LastEditDate="2016-02-01T22:45:46.850" LastActivityDate="2016-02-01T22:45:46.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23755" CreationDate="2016-01-27T09:42:31.210" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, that is not &quot;normal&quot;. It may be that nothing deadly wrong is happening, but you really should listen to your kids cry, because they mean something -- even if it is not something you would care about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20658" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T09:42:31.210" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23760" CreationDate="2016-01-27T09:45:37.853" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Relax. Let your child eat what he wants, when you can. He will by himself learn to eat other things. I did that and I've seem many people do that -- you probably did it also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All you must have is patience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't force food on your child, that will force him to take a deep choice for himself: &quot;I don't like this&quot;, and that decision, once internalized, can make it worse for him to experiment with other foods in the future. Also, there's possibility of some kinds of &lt;em&gt;trauma&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;neurosis&lt;/em&gt; being caused by forcing the child to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20658" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T09:45:37.853" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23769" CreationDate="2016-01-27T09:53:12.893" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;That is the most normal thing in the world. You should watch yourself, see if you're giving her all the attention you could, because she needs it. If you think you're doing your part well and she is still jealous, don't worry anymore, because it happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20658" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T09:53:12.893" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23777" CreationDate="2016-01-27T13:01:19.400" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You must be very tired, and very stressed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that I think you might be able to fix this quite quickly and easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But first, you &lt;strong&gt;mustn't ever try to force-feed&lt;/strong&gt; your child. No matter how worried or tired you are, this won't work and could cause serious problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say that your child is underweight, so I'm going to assume her weight is fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Therefore she is getting enough food&lt;/strong&gt;, period.&#xA;Because she has &quot;space&quot; for biscuits, it does not mean your baby is  hungry or needs the nutrition. Most humans will eat sweet, high calorie food at any time if offered - that's probably down to the way we evolved, when it was a sensible strategy! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless there's some underlying medical problem, there's no reason your 13 month old now needs food during the night. If your baby is of normal weight, then she's getting enough calories, so there's no reason she &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; to feed during the night at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think about it, your final question &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How can I get her to eat more on her own so that she can be full and sleep longer at night without force feeding her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;doesn't make sense&lt;/strong&gt;. If she is of normal weight and in the absence of a medical problem, she can't both (a) be hungry &lt;strong&gt;and&lt;/strong&gt; (b) need &quot;force-feeding&quot; in order to sleep. If she doesn't want food during the night, then I think there is no issue of feeding and the problem is entirely one of sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All humans, just like your baby, wake up several times during the night. If we don't have a sleep problem, we turn over and go back for another cycle, and we don't even remember the partial waking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is that she's not falling back into deep sleep by herself. My guess from the information you give is that she has a &lt;strong&gt;sleep association&lt;/strong&gt; problem. This is like a habit; expecting something to be a certain, usual way when she goes to sleep. It can be easy to fix!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore I suggest you investigate the sleep problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might simply that your child has an association with something unhelpful, such as&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you being there when she falls asleep (unless you are co-sleeping and you want to be)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;being nursed or fed to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, if she is used to being nursed or fed to sleep, it &lt;strong&gt;might&lt;/strong&gt; be that she is used to feeding when she wakes during the night, and now hasn't learned how to sleep without this (because you keep trying to feed her!). Since she's not hungry now, since her stomach has grown since she was a baby and she's now getting enough food during the day, that is creating the confusion for her and you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sleep independently, she needs to learn to fall asleep by herself so that she can fall asleep after her partial wakings. For more information, read the book by Ferber &quot;Solve your child's sleep problems&quot; which helped me immensely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20194" LastEditorUserId="20194" LastEditDate="2016-01-27T13:08:36.480" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T13:08:36.480" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23767" CreationDate="2016-01-27T14:09:44.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, if you're going to a specialist clinic I would assume that they are going to give far better and tailored advice that &amp;quot;the internet&amp;quot; will be able to, especially from the few details you give in the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the main problem &lt;strong&gt;might&lt;/strong&gt; be that he (very understandably) &lt;strong&gt;prefers breastfeeding to solid food&lt;/strong&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, obviously you cannot control your child's &lt;em&gt;appetite&lt;/em&gt;. But let's look at what you say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it's been 4 days since he ate something, only milk from me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt; question then is &lt;strong&gt;whether he is underweight&lt;/strong&gt;. If he is, see a doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he's not underweight, then &lt;strong&gt;he's getting enough calories from your milk&lt;/strong&gt; and any food he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; eating. That's why he doesn't want any more food! Therefore, you have to decide whether&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you are OK with this, or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;you give him less breast milk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, there are well-known benefits to breast feeding. Here's the current UK advice (my emphasis):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How long should I breastfeed for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exclusive breastfeeding (with no other food or drink) is recommended for around the first six months of your baby's life. After this, breastfeed alongside other foods &lt;strong&gt;for as long as you and your baby wish&lt;/strong&gt;. This might be into their second year or beyond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-problems.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-problems.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he wishes it! But is it making eating harder? The ideal thing might be to limit the amount of milk he has. If not the easiest way to fix the problem might be to stop breast feeding altogether! Then he could only get calories from solid food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is up to you. Obviously. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20194" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T09:10:43.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23761" CreationDate="2016-01-27T15:00:58.470" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand why you're anxious about this. It can be really alarming to think of something &quot;stuck&quot; in your three-year-old child's mouth with nothing you can do to get it out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has realized this too! The problem wasn't really a problem until you accidentally made it into one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Our rule is that when he starts pocketing food, we don't make him eat anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;strong&gt;can't make a child eat anything&lt;/strong&gt;. What he swallows (or not) is &lt;strong&gt;the one single thing in his life he can control&lt;/strong&gt;. He's almost three, and he's worked that out! And look at the effect it's having on you - you're very upset and he's getting a lot of high quality attention. It's &lt;em&gt;negative&lt;/em&gt; attention, but it's still amazingly good attention - from his point of view at least!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;he is not allowed to leave the table until he swallows what is in his mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to pay &lt;strong&gt;less attention to his personal eating habits&lt;/strong&gt;. This very attention is the cause of him repeating his new trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From your short description of the problem, it's clear you have a number of rules. That's obviously good, but only to a point! It can also turn bad if you end up spending too much time enforcing rules. In other words, you need to replace negative attention with positive attention. I can't recommend Webster-Stratton's &lt;em&gt;The Incredible Years&lt;/em&gt; enough for more information, if this is part of the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a look at my answer to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/23760/what-to-do-about-a-4-year-old-thats-unbelievably-picky-about-food&quot;&gt;What to do about a 4 year old that&amp;#39;s unbelievably picky about food&lt;/a&gt; and for a few days, why don't you try all having soup for your evening meals while you try to ignore his new trick?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20194" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T15:06:06.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2" CreationDate="2016-01-27T15:49:47.897" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I agree with most of the other answers (i.e. there are few if any objective arguments against immunizing) I think it would be more fair to stress the possible conflict between public health which is improved by immunisation programs, and individual risk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example the Rubella virus is dangerous for pregnant women and unborns.&#xA;Immunising girls ensures they will not get the virus later, while pregnant.&#xA;By immunising boys also, the risk of a pregnant woman coming into contact with a Rubella infected boy becomes very small. But there is only a little benefit for the boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7062" LastEditorUserId="7062" LastEditDate="2018-07-09T08:47:21.517" LastActivityDate="2018-07-09T08:47:21.517" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4400" CreationDate="2016-01-27T16:04:18.413" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is actually a combination of fat and scales. Clean it by shaking soapy water on the bottle and use a nipple brush to clean it. Sterilize after drying using RO water preferably.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20660" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T16:04:18.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23802" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-01-27T16:39:28.973" Score="3" ViewCount="1131" Body="&lt;p&gt;Say a preteen girl is going through an unhealthy obsession. I know many people go through a phase of extreme obsession with something at some point, whether it's with a celebrity, a school crush, a band, etc, but it almost always subsides eventually. Picture a little girl obsessed with Justin Bieber, to the point that she is neglecting other parts of her life, such schoolwork and spending time with friends, because all she does is listen to his music and read about him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's the best way to deal with something like this? If I discourage it, that might just make it cooler, &quot;forbidden fruit&quot;, or at least drive the two of us apart. Is it better to encourage it, and just try to make the obsession run its course as quickly as possible? Is it true that &quot;the only way out is through&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17758" LastEditorUserId="17758" LastEditDate="2016-01-27T17:43:34.127" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T20:16:47.880" Title="How to deal with a preteen's sudden unhealthy obsession?" Tags="|teen|pre-teen|emotional-well-being|girls|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23777" CreationDate="2016-01-27T18:53:03.893" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I asked a very similar question here about a year ago &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18175/1-year-old-baby-wont-eat-in-day-drinks-milk-all-night&quot;&gt;1 year old baby won&amp;#39;t eat in day, drinks milk all night&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and I got some helpful answers although no-one could really suggest how to get my son to eat more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A year on, we've had some success trying certain things and I think that just time in itself makes a big difference. It's not very well accepted by society now that extended breastfeeding and children waking up at night is a normal and natural thing. You only need to look at how many questions there are on this site and the internet in general to see it's not at all unusual. Therefore, if you want your daughter to eat more and wake less at night, you can't really expect her to just do it by herself for a while longer yet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did that helped was some fairly  basic and gentle night weaning. There are more structured and stricter versions you can try depending on how much you want to achieve. The idea is to get the baby used to having less milk at night and they will gradually compensate by eating (or drinking) more during the day. Search online for night weaning, you'll get lots of suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With us, we started with my husband going in for the first night-waking which tended to be around 12:30. He would offer comfort and bottled milk to my son but he didn't take it. He cried what seemed like a lot the first night, but checking the clock it was only about 20 minutes. The second night he cried less and after that he was OK and mostly stopped waking at that time. When he went back to sleep, he slept for as long as he would have if I had breastfed him. This and the fact that he refused bottled milk led us to believe that he wasn't really hungry at this time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We then moved on to the next waking around 3 am. Occasionally he would drink some milk from the bottle but not as much as breastfeeding and after a while he stopped bothering. We had a good spell where he would sleep until anywhere from 4:30 to 6. I would then breastfeed and stay with him and he'd go back to sleep until it was time to get up. We could probably have cut out this too but I didn't mind it as I work full time, I enjoyed keeping this chance for closeness with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is gradually starting to enjoy his food more. He's still not a big eater, he's only a small child, but now he can speak he actually tells us he likes a food even if he doesn't eat much of it. We try very hard not to push him to eat although it can be difficult to avoid, especially if you feel that you're going to be up half the night. But the more he can communicate, the more we realise that there's no way to make him eat when he doesn't want to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-01-27T18:53:03.893" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4400" CreationDate="2016-01-27T19:22:17.560" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have tons of the nipples for Dr. Brown bottles and for the longest time I had all the cloudy nipples stashed away and even bought new ones.&#xA;I found that placing them in a large glass, pouring in cocoa cola (non-generic) and stirrinh them around with a spoon works well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just stirring them around a little for a minute or two does the trick just as well as waiting longer periods (I used to soak them for 30 minutes.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20665" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-01-28T17:59:02.013" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T17:59:02.013" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22484" CreationDate="2016-01-28T03:34:01.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a 4 year old, I think it may be best to simply explain that a magnet will stick to an object if the object is made from steel. The child can go about the house identifying which things are made from steel, and which are not, by checking to see what the magnet will stick to. Children have a lot of fun doing this, and soon they will learn to identify which things are made of steel simply by the look or feel, even without the magnet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have magnets with the poles labelled, you can also teach them about magnetic repulsion, and explain that the 'N' likes to stick to the 'S', but 2 N's, or 2 S's push away from each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't think of any way you could actually explain the &quot;why&quot; without the child just getting very confused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The practical experimentation is really more fun, and more valuable to the child anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;disclaimer: As always with magnets and children, be very very careful! A four year old is still young enough to casually pop things in her mouth. You really have to re-enforce that a magnet must NEVER go in the mouth. It's particularly important to make sure she never plays with the tiny, and often very powerful, rare earth magnets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T03:34:01.863" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23802" CreationDate="2016-01-28T04:05:25.487" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Trying to restrict it will make it even more attractive. You actually may have more luck by actively pushing it. Ask her to watch music videos with you as soon as she gets home from school. Talk constantly about how hot Justin Bieber is, and that all the other mums/dads secretly love him as well. You'd need to be convincing though. I think this would have to put her off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T04:05:25.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20113" CreationDate="2016-01-28T04:09:18.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure which Cinderella story you're referring to. In most of the common versions of the story the stepmother only started treating Cinderella badly after her father died.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you're seriously overthinking this. Don't bother mentioning anything about it. Your son will not use this story as a model for his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, there are certainly worse role models your son could adopt. For all his supposed faults, the prince is kind, gentle, and treats Cinderella well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't need to worry too much about how women are going to treat your son. All that really matters is how he is going to treat them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-01-28T04:20:02.050" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T04:20:02.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18349" CreationDate="2016-01-28T12:35:15.540" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are basically doing exactly the right thing at mealtimes. I'd support everything said in the answer by 'A E'. I think your strategy of not reacting sounds perfect. I add a bit more detail on what has worked very well for us, mixed with the standard wisdom, in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/23760/what-to-do-about-a-4-year-old-thats-unbelievably-picky-about-food&quot;&gt;What to do about a 4 year old that&amp;#39;s unbelievably picky about food&lt;/a&gt; .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would just like to add a challenge this assumption:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We know she is hungry, because in the past we have given her a replacement of something like toast and she'll gobble that down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hungry isn't an on/off state. Most people will eat something high calorie or bland when offered. &#xA;Does this sound familiar?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She doesn't eat her meal. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You &lt;strong&gt;worry&lt;/strong&gt; she hasn't eaten enough / will feel hungry later / won't sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You give her toast.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to fight your anxiety. She's learnt that you perhaps will give her toast, which basically all kids prefer to almost everything else :-) &lt;em&gt;if she holds out&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're right that you need to not let her think that if she holds out she will get toast! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With luck, she will hopefully just grow out of this in a week or two!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, the missing piece of information - which is why I'm adding to the existing answers - is probably &lt;strong&gt;portion size&lt;/strong&gt;. You don't say she is underweight and I assume she has no relevant medical condition. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not the green things on the plate causing the problem, since she has no reason to fear them, since you're not making an issue of them. &lt;strong&gt;If her weight is fine, then she's getting enough food&lt;/strong&gt; and she's just not that hungry in the evening. Google for portion sizes for her age, and you might find that you're overfeeding her earlier in the day, which is why she's fairly relaxed about negotiating over her dinner!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20194" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T12:35:15.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1493" CreationDate="2016-01-28T13:04:36.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of answers, for some reason no one has pointed out that &lt;strong&gt;eating the same thing of anything&lt;/strong&gt; every single day is not a very good strategy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's putting all your eggs in one basket, so to speak. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know that bacon &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34615621&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;increases the risk of some cancers&lt;/a&gt; according to the World Health Organisation. On our current knowledge, I can't think of many worse things to eat every day!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we ourselves do eat eggs &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; days. I think they're amazing things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the other reason this is a bad idea is that it's going to make your kids inflexible. What about when you're travelling, on holiday, ill, can't get to the shop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20194" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T13:04:36.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16641" CreationDate="2016-01-28T14:19:14.470" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm going to concentrate on the question in the title.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I cringe a bit when I hear people say &quot;have you been good?&quot; or &quot;be a good boy for your mummy&quot;. It's the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So &lt;strong&gt;is it helpful&lt;/strong&gt; to call a child &quot;naughty&quot; or &quot;good&quot;? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How is it helpful? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What will it achieve?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Isn't it superfluous anyway?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For younger children in particular, I think the concept is &lt;strong&gt;far too complicated&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;completely ambiguous&lt;/strong&gt;. It's useless for behaviour management because it contains no actual instruction and at best conveys a &lt;em&gt;feeling&lt;/em&gt;. This feeling will be anger or disappointment from the parent, and perhaps shame or confusion in the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being told to &quot;be good&quot; can't cause anything but minor confusion and anxiety, because how is a child supposed to know what you mean by &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relying on &quot;good&quot; or &quot;naughty&quot; is an unsophisticated, even lazy, way of parenting and interacting with children. Good communication requires &lt;strong&gt;specific instructions&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;clear requests&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, a child hits another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No. We &lt;strong&gt;don't do that&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No. That's &lt;strong&gt;naughty&lt;/strong&gt;!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's fairly obvious to me that the second one doesn't &lt;em&gt;mean&lt;/em&gt; anything useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20194" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T14:19:14.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12434" CreationDate="2016-01-28T14:56:36.397" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a son of 4 month now who usually is sucking his fingers. At first I thought it was dangerous, but as time went on I just let him be, because at first he wasn't doing that. I think over time he will learn to stop himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20671" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-01-28T15:03:03.873" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T15:03:03.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23802" CreationDate="2016-01-28T20:16:47.880" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have a lot of experience with pre-teen girls, other than having been one once upon a time, but since I was asked to elaborate on my comment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with your assessment that making it 'forbidden' will make it more attractive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were you, I would figure out what is non-negotiable to you as a parent. Homework, chores, hygiene and so forth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she chooses to loose her friends, and neglect other hobbies, that might be painful to watch, but in the end she can do what she wants with her 'spare time' within parent set limits (like you might have time limit on screen time, which will effectively limit the number of videos and such).&#xA;It might even be that another hobby is non-negotiable, like if you have paid sessions for a sport - but try to figure out what you as a parent think she HAS to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even though it is not a 'healthy' hobby - what if you had a kid in competitive little league baseball, or gymnastics. You would probably as a parent recognize that some things are sacrificed for meets and matches and training, but homework would not be one of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect that given time, this interest might wane on its own, and that it needs to run its course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-01-28T20:16:47.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4015" CreationDate="2016-01-29T00:19:41.657" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For adults, I'm pretty sure there is no evidence that supplemental vitamins do anything for you unless you've actually been diagnosed with a deficiency (the exception being that folic acid taken before a woman tests pregnant helps prevent neural tube defects in fetuses).  So I'm guessing that there isn't any evidence that routine vitimans help kids either. Is anyone going to post a paper showing benefit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-01-29T00:19:41.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23819" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24105" CreationDate="2016-01-29T01:16:51.120" Score="1" ViewCount="1520" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is thirteen months old and has four teeth on top and two on the bottom. She is constantly grinding them against each other, which is not only bad for her, but also makes a sound that makes my skin crawl. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried grasping her firmly and saying NO very sternly, but she only giggles and keeps on. I also tried flicking her on the nose once, which made her cry for about 5 minutes before she started again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any tricks or ideas??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20675" LastEditorUserId="20675" LastEditDate="2016-01-29T02:16:35.720" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T21:27:16.767" Title="How do I get my one year old to stop grinding her teeth?" Tags="|discipline|teeth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23821" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23826" CreationDate="2016-01-29T02:29:12.517" Score="3" ViewCount="557" Body="&lt;p&gt;So my kindergartner came home with some scratches that I'm 99% sure could not have been self inflicted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are at the wrong angle and too deep - I tried to do it to myself and I couldn't and I'd hurt too much to continue. They are also staggered in a half moon at the start and the end of the the scratches. The half moon is the right size for one of her classmates so I'm not worried about an adult being the cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When queried about this last night she initially identified someone who has been a social bullying problem in the recent past. Part way though our discussion, she changed her story and said it was self inflicted. And then she flipped back again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today we talked to the caregivers. The accused denies it.  None of the adults in her care noticed it happen, but there was an argument with the accused yesterday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now this evening she's recanted again, but has also indicated she is afraid of getting someone in trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the accused didn't it do it, someone else must have. Any suggestions on how to get the info out of her? Or is the well poisoned?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6957" LastEditorUserId="388" LastEditDate="2016-02-01T15:55:58.350" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T18:28:19.443" Title="How do I find out who the bully is?" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|bullying|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23824" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5854" CreationDate="2016-01-29T14:17:43.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many videos/cartoons made for kids are unbelievably scary.  Not only can they plant seeds of terror of monsters and demons of various types, but they can transplant a full grown terror plant.  Monitor what they watch, both at home and elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2016-01-29T14:17:43.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23825" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23845" CreationDate="2016-01-29T18:23:00.260" Score="14" ViewCount="358" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have three kids (a 9, 4 and 3 year old) and our middle child is severely disabled.  My wife has some commuting challenges in the morning and thus has limited availability at the critical time and there's not much we can do about that.  As such, I have a pretty tight timeline on getting everyone ready and out the door in the morning and my attention is quite divided to boot.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short of it is that I need to find some way to train the 9-year-old to focus on things like eating his breakfast, brushing teeth, etc. on his own.  I can remind him every five to ten minutes, but it seems I have to do it every one or two before he absent-mindedly disengages and begins playing with a toy or staring off into space, etc.  It's hard for me to sustain this and nearly every morning we find ourselves rushing out the door in a blind panic no matter how prepared I am the night before or how early we start.  The time is simply taken up by idle activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does one teach focus to this age group?  Are there some fair incentives to keep him on track and what's the appropriate behavior as this keeps reoccurring?  I've been getting upset (which of course makes matters worse), but I'm really at a loss here.  Would love some suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:  I failed to mention in the original post that I have a limited window of time myself due to time syncing with our European and Australian offices (I'm in EST).  There are excellent suggestions about starting earlier and baking incentives into the morning routine that won't work for my particular situation but may be helpful for others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20624" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-02-03T01:59:40.687" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T13:49:47.407" Title="Staying focused getting ready for school" Tags="|independence|attention|focus|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23826" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23821" CreationDate="2016-01-29T18:46:10.567" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try focusing a conversation or two around making her relaxed about the subject.  She might be worried about the social consequences of &quot;telling&quot;, backlash, maybe she actually likes the child who did it and they made up, who knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'll have to not just tell her it will be ok, but make her feel safe to tell you what she's worried about.  This has to be done in a way she doesn't feel like she's giving up her ability to keep the situation under control.  Once she tells you, she probably feels like she won't have a say anymore over what happens.  So try and match her sense of proportion about it, and once you've established that tone, you can probably get her to tell you.  Just gently work towards what to do about it and try and make her feel good about it, or you might lose her trust for next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20624" LastActivityDate="2016-01-29T18:46:10.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8257" CreationDate="2016-01-29T21:37:30.373" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The angel care monitor's do not really have false alarms. They are a simple device which detects movement based on a sensitivity adjustment and responds to it. The reasons it can go off are many...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) If they are configured incorrectly for the environment they're in then they will go off when the baby is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) If the baby shallow breathes and reduces their movement below the set sensitivity it can go off. This is correct because that's how the parent configured it. You can choose to adjust the sensitivity to better represent how you want it to operate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Babies hold their breath and/or forget to breathe. Our first did this and the alarm startled her to breathe again. It only went off once in the 18months she was on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) If the baby has stopped breathing entirely it will go off. You have the option of CPR.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20685" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-02-03T02:36:26.923" LastActivityDate="2016-02-03T02:36:26.923" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23754" CreationDate="2016-01-30T07:31:18.147" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I did a lot of research a few years ago. We now have an 8 yr old boy and 5 yr old girl. We had the hardest time with our boy because when he was at his real mother's house, he always slept with his mother or one of his older brothers, being the youngest of 5 boys there. I initially had a hard time with this being my relationship with his dad started the same time he was born. Then, when my daughter was born, I breastfed for a while and we researched more about cosleeping for fear of smothering our newborn. All the research I remember showed that, generally, there is no longer term damage to the child psychologically. In many indigenous communities in places like Malaysia, entire families sleep together, including grandparents. But the one thing that always stuck out to me was my husband saying, &quot;Do you really think either of them are still going to want to sleep with us when they're teenagers? Enjoy it while you can.&quot; Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20687" LastActivityDate="2016-01-30T07:31:18.147" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12434" CreationDate="2016-01-30T07:39:30.423" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is a nice article with a guide for teething. That seems to be the most logical explanation. My kids were moderate droolers, but my nephew would soak a bib in an hour, bless his heart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, we did not give either of our children pacifiers, so my daughter, especially, had her hands in her mouth a lot. It worried me, but it passed once her teeth grew in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/guide-teething-symptoms&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parenting.com/article/guide-teething-symptoms&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20687" LastActivityDate="2016-01-30T07:39:30.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18990" CreationDate="2016-01-30T15:52:38.913" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hope that you've found a living situation where you feel safe by now. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their own home, and I hope you always make that your first priority. A couple thoughts: First, where is your mom? My guess is that she also feels beaten down and controlled, and isn't much support. Second, you are 20 which is a time of transition from adolescence to adulthood. This threatens many fathers who mistakenly believe they need to control everything that goes on in their home, and who may be depressed, angry or even heavy drinkers who are emotionally unstable. Please Google and educate yourself about &quot;paternalism.&quot; You've gotten lots of good suggestions already. I would suggest you begin saving to live on your own which is a bigger priority than drums and travel, as safe housing is always #1. You can check out &quot;Debtor's Anonymous&quot; on-line to learn helpful money habits that will benefit you the rest of your life, and help you learn to wisely plan for both the necessities and fun stuff we all want. Being self supporting is how you will solve this problem. Your house, your rules. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20688" LastActivityDate="2016-01-30T15:52:38.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22400" CreationDate="2016-01-31T02:54:12.917" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she really doesn't want any physical contact, I wouldn't force it. I would try to keep a smile and just look at her and tell her that you still love her and you will be there for her when she is ready. I had two different step-mothers growing up. My experience with the first one was horrible, so I projected this experience onto my expectations for my second step-mom. The first one also fueled my mistrust with things she'd say about my dad's new wife when I would visit her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be the situation with your step-daughter, as well. It could also be a reaction to something that is happening with her other mother and she assumes that you will turn out the same. This was the case with me. Now, even though my dad and his 3rd wife are now divorced, I still consider her my mom because she never forced any relationship other than &quot;care-giver&quot; and she was there for me when no one was, including my dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, just be patient with her age, too. My daughter is 5, and cries if you pick out socks she doesn't want, even if you are completely willing to switch them out. I think this is a sensative age for girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people are just more sensitive and have a harder time controlling their outward emotions, too, especially  when they can't explain or don't understand their emotions. I am one of these people, and at 35, I  still a struggle to explain how I feel without crying, which is a struggle within my marriage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Counseling could help, too, though I haven't had much luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20687" LastActivityDate="2016-01-31T02:54:12.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23836" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23837" CreationDate="2016-01-31T16:36:25.227" Score="4" ViewCount="27317" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in a cold place. The temperature of my house drops to 60°F / 16°C at nights. What is the best way to keep his hands warm? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried mittens, but he puts them in his mouth, which makes them wet, and even colder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used to swaddle him, but we're trying to transition him into a sleep sack. The sleep sack is very warm, but the hands are outside the sleep sack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18914" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2019-10-22T10:32:05.663" LastActivityDate="2019-10-22T10:32:05.663" Title="How to keep my baby's hand warm at night" Tags="|infant|sleep|temperatures|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23836" CreationDate="2016-01-31T17:24:53.353" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to keep a baby's hands warm are to make sure his core is warm.  That goes for day or night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are on the right track with the sleep sack. I would suggest a wool sleep sack. I've used one for all my kids and they are the best for keeping young babies warm before they are big enough to enjoy a warm blanket safely. But, I've also used cotton and polyester fleece sleep sacks and they can do the job (cotton is better for warmer spring or summer nights though.) Fleece is very warm if you aren't into wool.  However fleece, unlike wool which breathes well and still keeps baby warm when damp, can make a baby sweaty and then he will get a chill because the moisture stays on the baby. I would suggest you give wool a try- it's not scratchy as long as you get a high quality garment and wash it properly (which is very rarely by the way-another advantage to wool.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you mentioned, sleep sacks are sleeveless, so you must put something under it. A long sleeve cotton romper is what I usually use, and sometimes on the coldest nights a long sleeve onesie under that. A romper that is a little loose is best so that it traps body heat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A pair of socks that go up to the knee is a good idea too so that the feet stay warm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we lose power and it goes &lt;em&gt;below&lt;/em&gt; 60 degrees, I would add a hat to the above. One that has a Velcro chin strap is helpful to keep it on once a baby is bigger and moves around a bit at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, remember that babies will tell you if they are uncomfortable. They'll cry. So even if your baby's hands do end up a little chilly, if he isn't crying about it (and as long as the rest of him feels warm,) I wouldn't worry about it. He'd tell you if it was a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope these suggestions help. Stay warm!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2016-01-31T17:24:53.353" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2016-01-31T19:52:07.187" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Braid her fringe to the side.  Wait until it gets long enought to put behind ear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20697" LastActivityDate="2016-01-31T19:52:07.187" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3332" CreationDate="2016-01-31T20:52:09.693" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just wash the underwear as you would any piece of clothing.  The biological stains, after normal washing, are harmless and of no ill effect.  If you are self-conscious about the stain, or you thing that someone else might be, then put your panties or your briefs in the garbage.  Some of the washing remedies outlined above are both dangerous and a waste of money and time.  We are talking about a piece of clothing that is too close to areas that should not be subjected to residual bleaches, stain removing toxins and ritualistic cleaning methods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20698" LastActivityDate="2016-01-31T20:52:09.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23841" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23857" CreationDate="2016-02-01T10:51:12.700" Score="2" ViewCount="575" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of the child's life possible,  in general? I have heard a lot about that and heard about people doing that. But I did not get a chance to interact with those people who had breastfed exclusively. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second baby is 2 months old. When I breastfeed him, sometimes he cries when the let-down is less, by shaking his legs, and trying to get more from the nipples by pulling it vigorously.  What do I need to do in this situation? Anyway, I feel guilty and give him formula after the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I pump after every nursing session to increase my milk production. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20621" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-03T13:00:25.667" LastActivityDate="2018-12-03T13:00:25.667" Title="Exclusive breastfeeding - how to deal with complaints from baby?" Tags="|infant|newborn|breastfeeding|formula|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23843" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-01T12:44:12.210" Score="9" ViewCount="317" Body="&lt;p&gt;In her creche, my 2-year-old daughtergot severely bitten by three different children now with a couple of months between each incident-cluster. The first biter moved to a different creche soon after, the second one became her friend after parents and teachers worked closely together, but the third continues to be a problem. The parents are quite aggressive and from what the teachers say I have the impression they refuse working with them but get defensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is clearly affected by the incidents as even weeks later she reenacts the biting with her doll and from within unrelated situations we have dialogues as »I cried.« »Why did you cry?« »X bit me.«.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is my first child so my questions are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I am beginning to fear there is a pattern as other children do not get bitten as often. Might there be behaviour that encourages other toddlers (all under 3) to seek her out? Which would that be?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;How can I help her both dealing with it and avioding it in the future without suggesting to her it's her fault? I don't really want to tell her to avoid the biter or push her, but don't really know what else I can do.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20700" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-07T14:34:41.523" LastActivityDate="2019-01-07T14:34:41.523" Title="How can I help the Bitten?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|bullying|coping|biting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23825" CreationDate="2016-02-01T17:53:39.493" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try incentives.  Set a schedule and use a loud timer to mark the milestones.  &quot;Timer's running...five minutes til teeth have to be brushed.&quot; Timer goes off, are teeth brushed?  If so, one milestone reached.  &quot;Timer is on again, ten minutes to eat your breakfast...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will be helping the younger two reach their milestones, true, but that's not unreasonable.  Think of appropriate rewards for getting things done in time.  Personally, I like cumulative rewards.  Whoever gets the most star points each week gets to pick which restaurant we go to dinner at on Friday.  Reaching fifteen star points gets you any single item at the Dollar Store.  Rewards don't have to be expensive (and shouldn't be, IMO) but they should be things the kids can't get any other way. (yeah, you don't like him to have chocolate or junk food but one candy bar won't kill him and if it motivates him to earn twenty star point levels it is worth it...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't work we go to loss of privileges.  &quot;If you don't make all your milestones in the morning you lose electronics privileges that evening&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the single most important factor in making a strategy like this successful; follow through.  If you promise a reward you need to deliver it.  If you set a consequence you need to enforce it.  Don't relent just because you have fussiness and drama going on, just calmly stick to your guns.  &quot;I'm sorry that you weren't able to get your teeth brushed in time and now you can't watch TV, I hope you will be able to get done in time tomorrow.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason your nine year old can't focus may be because he sees no reason to make it a priority.  Sure, Dad gets mad and stressed out but that happens every so often, just a part of life...  Giving him personal incentives which he can control is likely to get a much better response than expecting him to care about your &quot;adult&quot; concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other possibility; if he has difficulty focusing in a lot of other areas of his life; excessive daydreaming, losing things, forgetting things (even things that are important to him) you might look into the possibility that he has some ADHD going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-02-01T17:53:39.493" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23841" CreationDate="2016-02-01T17:56:45.653" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;it is possible to exclusively breastfeed, and many people do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, many people are not able to either. You might not produce enough milk, or there might be other issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our second child was exclusively breastfed until 7-8 months, but as I went back to work I could not pump enough milk to keep up. I just don't produce a lot when pumping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our first child was a little premature (just 4 weeks), so he got some supplemental formula the first 3 weeks or so. Then he was exclusively breastfed until 6 months of age. I went to the hospital for an allergic reaction, and though I pumped there (the nurses were super nice and put my milk in the staff fridge), he needed some formula. He got some one and off until we switched to cow's milk - again I had a hard time keeping up with daytime demand pumping. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sharing this story, since there is a lot of pressure to exclusively breastfeed. But there can be many reasons to not do it. And supplementing with formula is not bad - the important thing is your baby is getting enough nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember crying while pumping at night to try and get more milk - by baby 2 I realized it was not worth it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think your baby is more hungry, try giving him a little bit of formula. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that by 6 months, you can also start weaning.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-02-01T17:56:45.653" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9323" CreationDate="2016-02-01T18:14:50.873" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The research that I have read focused on the level of interaction that occurs when baby is facing the parent. More talking to baby, more interaction on all levels and that this kind of stimulation at the baby carriage age is beneficial as compared to the kind of stimulation facing front. Facing front is not a bad thing, but the thinking is that facing parent is better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20702" LastActivityDate="2016-02-01T18:14:50.873" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23849" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-01T19:59:23.903" Score="1" ViewCount="389" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband has two lovely boys, age 8 and 9. Boys are staying over in&#xA;in-laws' house to finish their school. Boys are coming over for weekends and I take them to school on Mondays.&#xA;We are having issues with&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;following directions/listening&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;showing respect&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;asking politely&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;behavior&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;greetings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and ignoring.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have step up House rules, so boys know how they need to behave. They have simple rules.&#xA;For example &amp;quot;Say please&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;thank you&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;excuses me&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;yes&amp;quot;/&amp;quot;no&amp;quot; &amp;quot;sir&amp;quot;/&amp;quot;ma'am&amp;quot;. We want them to be polite, boys are smart, and I know they know these words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a problem, their grand mom (she is doing a great job ) lets them treat her as 'no one'. She serves them with everything. Last time I was picking them up, one of the boys asked for French toast&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want French toast&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;grandma does the toast - 5 minutes later&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my toast will be ready?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I step in and I explained that such behavior is not accepted and it is rude. And I told him how it need to be done&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grand mom, I would like a toast?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grand mom can I please have a French toast?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And wait until it's finished.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grandmother lets them do it everytime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When adults are talking at the table, they cut in and interrupt, they talk back, they do not do what we asked for, or they ask why they have to do it, or &amp;quot;I don't want to do it&amp;quot;. When we talk to them, and we explain why their behavior is unacceptable, the older one is making faces, he is laughing like he is ignoring.&#xA;They treat us like peers, they do not say hello or goodbye. They do not say thank you, or if they can be excused from the table - we remind them everytime, but it is getting sick, for past seven months I am doing the same thing every weekend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They do not want to clean their room (the share room and restroom ). For example, if one thing is left the excuse is - it's not mine it's mark and via versa. We are trying to teach them how to share, how to talk properly, how to be polite, show respect, explain why they need to listen. All this stuff is on the house rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When boys go back to gradmom's house, our progress goes backwards. She lets them get away with everything, then they are coming over to us and same issues all over again. I copied the house rules and gave it to mother-in-law. It is hanging in the kitchen, still boys are ignoring it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are not absent minded, they have A's and B's in school- one of them is in gifted program. I believe if they know how to pray before the dinner, they can learn how to behave and how to be polite. They know how to behave at my mother's house, by the time we get into the car, everything is getting back to &amp;quot;their&amp;quot; normal behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried time out, the older one stands there and keeps asking &amp;quot;how much longer&amp;quot;, or he is screaming so loud that I can't stand it. We tried taking toys away. The younger one is little different - he doesn't want to disappoint you. But when we put them together, it's crime after crime. It is just making me tired of the repeating the same thing, when I know that grandmother will do it her way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, let me add that my husband and I do things with boys - color, puzzles, learning languages, gardening. We spend time together. But their behavior it's turning us off. Last weekend, we were invited to a birthday party and we did not go because boys could not behave. Last weekend, we got late to dinner because boys waited to do their things (clean their room, take shower, vacuum their room) for 4 hours. I told them why they have to do it, that they have 2 hours etc. still nothing...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions or comments would help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20703" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-11-08T18:58:47.937" Title="What to do about step children who don't listen to us, don't do their chores but are being spoiled by their grand mother?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|step-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23849" CreationDate="2016-02-02T01:26:23.047" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, you have your &lt;em&gt;house rules&lt;/em&gt;, and Grandma has her &lt;em&gt;house rules&lt;/em&gt;, and they're not the same. You can't expect your boys to obey the rules of one house while they are in another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your big mistake is, you shouldn't be teaching the boys &lt;em&gt;house rules&lt;/em&gt; at all. You should be teaching them &lt;em&gt;life rules&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eight and nine year old boys should not be polite to adults, exhibit table manners, complete their chores, etc. because it makes their parents happy. They should do those things because that is the best way to get along in the world. They should do those things because it makes them better persons. They should do those things because it is who they are -- polite, mannerly, responsible people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the most productive thing you should do is to articulate and explain to yourself just exactly why you need those boys to behave properly. (Hint: it's not to make &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; life easier.) Once you understand this yourself, you can begin to make the rules less about the relationship between the adults and the boys, and more about who the boys are even without the adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your goal must be to get the boys to be good even when there's no one around to be good for except themselves. This is not going to be easy. If raising polite, mannerly, responsible children was easy, everyone would be doing it, and obviously they're not, don't get me started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how you should begin to make such a change in your attitude, much less how to get the boys to believe in it. You'll just have to try everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Imagine what's going to become of them when you're no longer around to administer the rules.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find examples of admirable men who accomplished great things and weren't trying to satisfy anybody but themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make them memorize the rules, and then tear down the posters and reminders.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain to them. Perhaps they don't even have a clue why you have all these rules in the first place. (Maybe they think you really are just trying to make your own life easier.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, and always remember you are working in the most important career in the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20278" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T01:26:23.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23836" CreationDate="2016-02-02T05:20:41.580" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you need to worry. Your baby's circulation will still be fine at that temperature, as long as his core is warm. If his chest is warm, and his feet are warm, it really doesn't matter if his hands are a bit cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T05:20:41.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3778" CreationDate="2016-02-02T05:30:14.987" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it's just a toy, however I also think the way the play with toys can sometimes be an indicator of how they'll play with other children or animals. We ask our children to play carefully and respectfully with their toys. With their stuffed animals, we ask them to treat them gently, as if they were real animals. I don't think there is anything wrong with doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T05:30:14.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23854" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23768" CreationDate="2016-02-02T06:31:03.510" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found an &lt;a href=&quot;https://linguistlist.org/ask-ling/lang-acq.cfm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;interesting article&lt;/a&gt; about speech development, but it doesn't address your question, so I can only answer with anecdotal evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are people who can stick their pinkie fingers in either side of their mouth and make a high-pitched whistle.  Many of us learn the more common form of folding our tongues up and blowing sound out through pursed lips.  The only way I learned the latter was by my mother spending a lot of time showing me and having me practice while not facing her (she was not fond of being spit upon).  No one ever showed me the first method and, just seeing and hearing the end result, I have never learned to duplicate it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I give that background because it is the foundation of how I worked with my daughter in learning speech -- I over-dramatized the making of sounds and playing with words with large facial expression and as open a mouth as was possible, then encouraged her to do the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe it helped her to see (not just hear) how I made the various sounds so that she could them mimic them.  The &quot;s&quot; sound is rather challenging: the teeth largely hide the tongue's role.  Combine that with a transition to another sound and that tongue just wants to jump up (making a &quot;t&quot;/&quot;th&quot; sound)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more you patiently play with the sounds in a back-and-forth manner so that it is fun, silly, and ultimately results in success, the more likely your child is to pick up the &quot;correct&quot; pronunciation... And, if it doesn't happen immediately at least you get to make some funny sounds together!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T06:31:03.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23849" CreationDate="2016-02-02T09:48:53.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have a wholesale solution but two thoughts I would like to contribute:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a)  Friedrich Wilhelm August Fröbel, who was a student of Pestalozzi said »education is example and love – that's it« (»Erziehung ist Beispiel und Liebe – sonst nichts.«). I try to put this  before all rules and consequences and keep asking myself: do I show enough love and do I mind the gap enough? By »minding the gap« Brenée Brown means: do I lead with a good example? We can hardly expect our children to become polite and respectful if we aren't (and this obviously includes how we treat them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;b) I read an &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.vonguteneltern.de/?p=2382&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;article by a German midwife&lt;/a&gt; in which she argues that children are sweet, polite, mannerly and compliant with everybody else &lt;em&gt;but&lt;/em&gt; their parents because with their parents they experiment all the behaviour that is not tolerated elsewhere. They do this because their parents and their parents only are the people where they can be sure of unconditional love even if they behave terribly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a bit difficult at times to keep a healthy balance, but I think children do need to experiment with behaviour and we should not get caught up with day-to-day incidents too much but trust that if we lead with a good example they will, too as adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly shortcomings should be expected and allowed, the interesting bit is how we deal with our own. I try to teach that it is ok not to be perfect all the time, it is more important to recognise when we failed to  be a decent person and deal with it appropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20700" LastEditorUserId="20700" LastEditDate="2016-02-02T10:36:16.287" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T10:36:16.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23841" CreationDate="2016-02-02T14:54:23.977" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I agree with Ida that there's nothing wrong in supplementing with formula, don't be too quick to assume that you have to. Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is possible for most women but believing that you don't have enough milk is a very common worry that leads a lot of women to use formula even though they would prefer not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not being able to produce enough milk is actually quite rare, according to this site &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/how-can-i-tell-if-my-baby-is-getting-enough-milk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/how-can-i-tell-if-my-baby-is-getting-enough-milk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There can be some health issues with the mother that lead to low milk supply, some of which can be corrected and there's also the possibility of the baby having a problem, such as tongue tie, which means they cannot suck milk from the breast efficiently. However, I think that lack of good advice and support, lack of confidence and lack of experience of seeing other people breastfeeding is probably a more likely reason that many women believe they don't have enough milk for their baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it's definitely worth ruling out any medical issues with yourself or the baby if you are really worried. But if that turns out OK and you want to breastfeed exclusively, then I'd suggest getting some support and making an effort to meet other women who have breastfed exclusively. There are a lot of excellent resources online which should help to answer any questions you have. The site I linked above is good, as is kellymom.com and La leche league &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.laleche.org.uk&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.laleche.org.uk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my baby was born, I worried a lot that I didn't have enough milk for him but for no real reason. Meeting with a lactation consultant, getting advice from other mothers who had breastfed and information from these websites all helped me to gain confidence and breastfeed successfully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is some information about the issue and effects of women believing they don't produce enough milk when they do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/perceived-insufficient-milk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/perceived-insufficient-milk/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And here are some tips to understand if you do have low milk supply and some ways you may be able to increase it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/low-supply/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/low-supply/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some important things to note about how breastfeeding works are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Breastfeeding is based on supply and demand so the best thing you can do to increase your supply is feed your baby as much as possible. If you have been using formula, it may take some time to increase your milk supply back to a level which will satisfy your baby so if you want to reduce the formula, you probably need to do so gradually.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pumping is not a good indicator of how much milk your baby gets. Generally babies are much better at getting milk than a pump is so don't worry too much if you can't pump a lot of milk.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The best way to know if your baby is getting enough milk is if he gains weight well and has enough wet and dirty nappies (diapers). His urine should be pale in colour and he should have about 6 wet nappies per day. The number of expected dirty nappies is more variable after the first month or so but at the beginning you would expect 3-4 per day (this doesn't apply to this particular question but to anyone with a new baby). &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, just to reiterate my first point, there is nothing wrong with giving some formula for whatever reason, if you do have a real issue with milk supply or for some women and babies, breastfeeding just doesn't suit them. But if you would really like to breastfeed exclusively, don't give up without getting some good support and advice to help you establish if you have a real problem with milk supply or not and if you do, if there's anything that can be done about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T14:54:23.977" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23841" CreationDate="2016-02-02T16:19:55.723" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One thing we found really helpful were postnatal NCT breastfeeding sessions. Firstly, just having someone look at you and say &quot;you're doing fine&quot; or telling you what's &lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt; wrong and how to fix it makes a huge amount of difference. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/breastfeeding-concerns&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;There's also a &lt;em&gt;ton&lt;/em&gt; of helpful information on here, including a helpline (UK specific)&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, 2 month old babies are unrestrained id. They will happily demand literally anything from you, and scream at you when you fail to deliver exactly what they want: &lt;em&gt;They possess no other form of communication&lt;/em&gt;. However, if he's gnawing at the nipple, that's often a sign of either a bad latch or just behaviour you need to correct early; I believe the standard advice is to detach him the second you feel discomfort, hold him away from the nipple and say &quot;we don't bite Mummy&quot;, then let him re-attach. You basically teach him that tugging has the exact opposite effect to what he wants, and get a chance to readjust the latch. He will scream at you; ignore this, he's not in possession of all the facts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to be aware of: If you do continue with mixed feeding (which your comment suggests you might), one of the key advantages is that &lt;em&gt;your partner can feed the baby&lt;/em&gt;. As a dad, there's a certain triumph in feeding a 2 month old off to sleep at 2 AM while my wife snores upstairs. Do not be afraid to offer your partner this exciting opportunity to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond this, if you're genuinely struggling, see your paediatrician; they can check that your baby's putting on weight (which is the only &lt;em&gt;critical&lt;/em&gt; bit), and suggest other avenues of support you can take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2016-02-02T16:25:50.463" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T16:25:50.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23825" CreationDate="2016-02-02T17:35:58.870" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the same problem and with a similar age grouping ( 9, 5 and 3). I more or less solved the problem by tackling two different issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first one is the child's focus. In my case, making my older aware of the fact that with age comes responsibility, and that as the older brother he has to help us with his siblings. With the understanding that greater responsibility comes with some privilege; some minor treat like getting a little later to bed or things like that. I also worked with him through all his morning tasks, one at a time, starting with the next when I was sure he would be able to finish the previous one. Soon after, his younger brothers wanted the same privileges, so they had to share the same level of responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I think the main issue is that they don't understand why all the rush. You have to make it their problem instead of yours. What I did was set a target time half an hour earlier than really needed. If we got out in time, we would drive right to the school's front door, park in the closest possible spot and watch cartoons. The longer it took them to be ready, the further away we had to park, thus reducing the available time for cartoons and increasing the length of the morning walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This worked so well that if some day I was the late one, I would have to stand a hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6504" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T17:35:58.870" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23859" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8717" CreationDate="2016-02-02T19:13:26.557" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe try talking to him about being brave and having courage. How he's a big boy now and he can be very brave, like a super hero that he may like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not make a big deal of the vaccinations, say it's 3 pinches, it will pinch for a little bit and it will be over soon. Reassure him that you'll be there with him and will hold him tight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you could reward him with something that he does rarely but likes a lot. For example you could say that if he's a big brave boy you will take him to get a frozen yogurt treat after the doc visit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20712" LastActivityDate="2016-02-02T19:13:26.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23861" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-02T22:13:55.663" Score="1" ViewCount="698" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was born January 1st, 2016. I breastfeed her on a daily basis and She was having really good wet and messy diapers everyday for almost 2 1/2 weeks after coming home from the hospital but now she has been going almost 2 1/2 weeks without a messy diaper. I have tried to help her once in a while with a baby rectal thermometer and her poop still seems soft when she pushes out the poop and thermometer. She has been too the doctors about it and they just keep telling me that its just a gas block up that shes fine and they are having me give her gas drops and telling me to cut out dairy products to see if it helps plus to stop helping her with the thermometer because of risks of hurting her. So if the poop seems soft why cant she push it out and what can i do to help her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20714" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-02-03T01:02:54.457" LastActivityDate="2016-05-28T16:28:45.430" Title="How can I help my one month old poop with out hurting her?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2016-05-29T21:03:26.037" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22765" CreationDate="2016-02-03T01:51:50.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Now that it's been done, I can say we have our answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were told that after the first few days of the procedure, clean water wasn't a concern. Bath water and treated pool water are fine, and we don't need to make preparations for those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For swimming in lakes/streams/etc., we were told to use custom fitted earplugs from an audiologist. Swim caps weren't recommended.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found that our son's noise sensitivity has increased, either due to the procedure itself causing soreness or the tubes releasing the persistent fluid that had been plugging his ears, we don't know. So, I'd recommended using lower volume for everything, from voices to speakers, for a little while after the procedure itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There seem to be no other long-term considerations for caring for them, and nothing we really need to prevent our son from doing to keep them free of infection. This was counter to my wife's experience with her own tubes as a child, and my experience with relatives that had them. Those experiences are what generated the original question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a side note, for the short term, it would be a good idea to have some soft foods and liquids on hand for after the procedure. Popsicles, sports drinks, gelatin, etc. The appetite may come and go for a week or so, and these foods help keep the calorie count up, and your under-the-weather child feeling a little better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastActivityDate="2016-02-03T01:51:50.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23863" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-03T04:26:00.117" Score="2" ViewCount="256" Body="&lt;p&gt;I get woken up in my sleep at least four times throughout the night. My daughter is screaming only for just under a minute. she is not awakened from this but is leaving me wondering what is happening&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20716" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T02:50:42.050" Title="what's causing 3 year old to scream/cry several different times through out the night but doesn't wake up?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23821" CreationDate="2016-02-03T09:49:26.620" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try roleplaying&lt;/strong&gt; with a toy or a doll. Play nursery, have a doll be her, one for the caregiver, a few &quot;friends&quot;... and then suddenly one friend is angry! Oh no, what happens?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids often don't (want to) tell things, but when playing, use a mix of both fantasy and their own experiences to create situations. Ask follow up questions: why did the doll do that? But that never happens to her, right? Oh it does? You can have the caregiver console the hurt doll, and (gently) tell the bully-doll not to do that anymore - or have the doll stand up for herself and tell the caregiver or her mommy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1060" LastActivityDate="2016-02-03T09:49:26.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2016-02-03T21:33:13.910" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought a puddle jumper in 2012. Then the weight requirement was 20lbs. I began using it with my son at 11 months old. I bought another recently and noticed the change to 30lbs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will be disregarding the change as my eldest child was quite safe and secure in his puddle jumper at 23lbs and 11 months old. We were not notified of a recall or a weight change and I see no deaths or injuries reported. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know multiple 4 year olds who don't meet the 30lb weight and they too use the puddle jumpe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20720" LastActivityDate="2016-02-03T21:33:13.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2016-02-04T01:53:53.807" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that enrolling your child in a driving school will really teach them the in depth things they will need to know about driving. You may be able to teach them the basics, but I think that letting a professional help them is a good way to go. I know that I have forgotten a lot of what I learned when I first started driving, so I personally wouldn't feel as confident trying to teach someone else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20724" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-02-04T02:37:55.927" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T02:37:55.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2016-02-04T02:35:31.593" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Professional driving instructors tend to be exceptionally patient, and tend not to panic in situations where regular people will. This helps a lot to keep a learner driver calm, and people learn much more effectively when they're calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One incident I can remember when I was learning many years ago. I was driving towards an intersection, and didn't properly register that a vehicle was approaching and that I was required to give way. My driving instructor simply and very calmly used his instructor side brake pedal to smoothly bring the car to a stop. No yelling, no stress. He explained what I'd done wrong, and we continued the lesson. Had it been a parent beside me there may well have been shouting, swearing, and possibly even a collision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also did lessons with my parents, but in areas that were much less busy, out on open roads, and in small towns away from the big cities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a very good instructor when I was young I believe has helped me to be a very careful driver. I've been driving now for about 25 years, and in that time I haven't had a single at-fault collision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T02:35:31.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23871" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23863" CreationDate="2016-02-04T02:50:42.050" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although stressful for a parent, this is very common, and most likely nothing to be concerned about. It will likely pass as the child gets older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it happens the best thing may simply be to sit beside the child for a while and gently stroke her shoulder or back until she calms down. Lifting the child to try to console her can sometimes make things worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may also be able to look at your bedtime routine, and see if there might be ways to make it a more calm, peaceful experience. Sing lullabies, read peaceful happy stories (nothing scary, or even exciting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing you could try is playing some kind of 'white noise' throughout the night. We have started playing water sounds and this seems to help our children to go to sleep sooner, and sleep more soundly. We just use a spare mobile phone playing the water sound on a continuous loop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T02:50:42.050" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21076" CreationDate="2016-02-04T13:01:46.997" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your wife may not find it meaningful enough to change without encouragement. A lawyer might help, but it might create an additional level of tension--even if you explain you have no intention of divorce. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bullies will generally stop bullying when their behavior has negative consequences towards them. A call to the police may sound extreme, but it may be the impetus your wife needs to put in the interpersonal work required to make changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, many counties have a mental health crisis line staffed by Master's level social workers. Calling the crisis line will be an effective way to communicate the seriousness of your concern without risking an arrest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T13:01:46.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23873" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-04T13:41:44.037" Score="6" ViewCount="1322" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-, soon to be 5-, year-old daughter has temper tantrums at preschool. She does  not have them for me and has not had them for me for the past couple of years. I never fed her temper tantrums. It took my husband longer to get the point, but thankfully she has quit having them for him as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem I have is that she is doing great academically. She can read, write some, color, spell, and some very basic math. Her preschool teacher insists she thinks she is on the autism spectrum due to her &quot;behavior problems&quot;. They treat her temper tantrums like she can not control them. But she can and she does. My daughter does not like to do certain things. She does not like to color, but loves to play with crayons. Don't get me wrong, she can color and stay in the lines...but it is not her favorite activity. So, if she is required to color for an activity at school, she will throw a fit knowing full well she will get put in time out and get what she wants...she doesn't have to color.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My problem is that most people (teacher and other support staff) speak to me as though they feel the temper tantrums are my issue. I strongly disagree. She does not behave that way for me and I don't allow it. If she throws a fit for me I either speak very sternly to her and make clear the consequences (and I follow through &lt;strong&gt;every&lt;/strong&gt; time) or I simply ignore her depending on the situation. The result is that she behaves for me.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What am I supposed to do about her throwing temper tantrums for others when I am not there? These are definitely temper tantrums and not meltdowns as she calms as soon as she gets what she wants...per teacher. Even when she did have them for me I could quickly get it to end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that temper tantrums in toddlers are often an indication of bad parenting...but what about bad teaching? I feel they are attributing her temper tantrums to something she can't control, when clearly she can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20729" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-20T12:35:02.070" LastActivityDate="2019-06-20T12:35:02.070" Title="How to stop my 4-year-old from having tantrums at preschool?" Tags="|pre-schooler|daycare|tantrums|teacher|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23873" CreationDate="2016-02-04T14:17:42.997" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Small children have very little control over their lives.  Most decisions are made for them.  So when they figure out how to get any control, they take the idea and run with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter has tried temper tantrums to get what she wants.  And she learned that for you and your husband it doesn't work.  So she doesn't try that with you.  For the preschool teachers, however, it works splendidly.  Temper tantrums mean she doesn't have to do something she doesn't want to.  And she has achieved control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as what to do about her behavior in preschool, you need to talk to the teachers or administrators there and get them to understand that she can behave, but by giving her exactly what she wants when she has a tantrum that they are encouraging that behavior.  (I know going to time out may not look like they are giving in, but the purpose of throwing the tantrum wasn't to go to time out, it was to not color.)  Help &quot;train&quot; them like you did with your husband so that they start to see the same results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, their jump to autism seems like a lazy attempt to shift responsibility from their inability or unwillingness to properly deal with your daughters tantrums to your daughter / you / something uncontrollable.  Don't let them get away with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you can try explaining to your daughter that this behavior is unacceptable when she is at preschool and set consequences and follow through.  This may or may not work because you are separating the behavior and the consequences by a fairly long time and then it may not sink in as easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T14:17:42.997" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23873" CreationDate="2016-02-04T16:10:22.537" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really seems like the teacher just doesn't have time to effectively cater 20-30 different discipline styles so any children that don't conform must be Autistic or ADD or some other trendy excuse for their behavior. This happens because teachers in the US (I'm assuming your in the US) are incredibly overworked and under supported.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So while I'm not trying to &quot;blame teachers&quot; because I feel most are trying to do the best that they can, it does mean that sometimes what they offer is just not what your kids need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any wiggle room with this school that you try a different teacher? Or could you put her in a different program? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively is there a way enroll her in a weekend program where she could practice these self control skills in a setting with a more effective adult? Something like maybe Girl Scouts, or a church group or maybe the Big Brother / Big Sister program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she needs practice and the school is giving her the wrong kind of practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T16:10:22.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="798" CreationDate="2016-02-04T16:13:23.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;my father tried to teach my older brother. It was a disaster. Every time he failed, my father yelled at him (because my father was afraid of damaging his car)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO, do yourself and your children a favor. Enroll them in driver lessons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20585" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T16:13:23.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23873" CreationDate="2016-02-04T18:08:39.677" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am surprised that no one suggested you sit in on the &quot;class&quot; several times to observe your daughter's behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To communicate effectively, you need to know (and if to believe, you need to see first hand, so be it) what behaviors of concern your child's teachers are seeing, and for them to believe you, they need to know if what you say is true (if it is, and she throws no tantrums in your presence, they will know it's not a disorder.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I agree that temper tantrums in toddlers are often an indication of bad parenting...but what about bad teaching?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of trying to assign blame, it might be more helpful to see what's going on and to work with your child's teachers in coming up with a plan to help your daughter deal with whatever she is experiencing difficulty with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T18:08:39.677" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23878" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-04T19:46:54.530" Score="10" ViewCount="1513" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're having trouble getting our 1 year old to fall asleep at night. She fusses and cries, and we have to work with her (rocking, singing, breastfeeding etc) for at least 1-2 hours, sometimes longer. She cries hysterically when we put her in her crib, even if she is sleeping when we lay her down. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The weird part is that the daytime naps are trouble free - 2-3 minutes of rocking, putting her down in the crib, singing for 5 minutes and then she sleeps for a good hour without trouble. If she wakes during that hour she usually falls back to sleep on her own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But at night time its all different. It's been like this for at least 6 months. It feels as if she notices that she is falling asleep and it freaks her out. She is really working actively to stay awake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we tried:&#xA;- Long routine (bathing, PJs, reading stories, singing etc). She is happy but resists sleep. As soon as the routine ends she cries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;No routine (mimicking daytime naps). She cries hysterically even before we try to put her i  the crib.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Different routine lengths. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Different people, both I and my wife have tried. It works better when she does it but it takes 2+ hours. When I try she just cries, even though I do it every day at nap time without her crying. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Letting her cry in the crib while singing and patting her on the head. But she tries to roll and crawl away and cries when we stop her. After a while she starts coughing and gagging on her tears so we have to pick her up. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;With/without breast feeding, pacifier and other tools. We've tried every combo :) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Different bed times, we've also experimented with naps, like skipping the afternoon nap or doing it earlier. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else can we try? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20732" LastEditorUserId="20732" LastEditDate="2016-02-07T08:34:30.993" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T02:13:26.433" Title="Teaching 12 months old how to fall asleep in her crib without hours of rocking, nursing, etc" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18349" CreationDate="2016-02-04T21:25:51.330" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The current paradigm for feeding kids is that you decide &lt;strong&gt;what&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;where&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;when&lt;/strong&gt;, and they decide &lt;strong&gt;how much&lt;/strong&gt;.  Your job is just to provide nutritious options, if she doesn't want them right then, you should respect that.  Just ride it out, she'll start eating better eventually.  Virtually no kids will starve themselves.  They get growth spurts, and when they aren't in one, remember how little she weighs compared to you, she doesn't need all that much food to be okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-02-04T21:25:51.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23873" CreationDate="2016-02-05T00:16:01.903" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At my son's school they sent home daily &quot;report cards&quot; for those children with behavioral issues.  These cards addressed five areas of the child's day: morning, first recess, lunch, evening, last recess.  They gave a  1-5 numeric grade in several categories (&quot;listened respectfully to teacher(s)&quot;, &quot;did work as requested&quot;, &quot;respectful toward classmates&quot;, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We based our reward/punishment response (extra treats or loss of privileges) off that daily report and it worked really well because there wasn't that separation; the marking of the report card was right out there, immediate, and the child had to carry it home.  It was also available on-line, so my son knew he couldn't avoid the consequences by &quot;losing&quot; the card.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took a couple of years but eventually really caused my son's behavior to turn around.  Our situation was very similar to yours; our son knew he could never get away with being disrespectful or disobedient at home but, without exception, refused to accept the authority of other adults without a lot of reinforcement on our part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I realize that such a system would be a lot of work for an already overworked school system, but it really worked well for our school.  Sending home daily report cards was only done for a small pool of hard case kids (and, of course, would have been completely ineffective without parential enforcement) but the teachers told us it was, overall, a very good investment of their time and effort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps your daughter's teacher would consider it for a short period of time (a month or so?)  Or something similar?  My son was in first grade when they started giving him report cards, so he was a little older than your daughter, but she sounds like a bright girl who will figure out how to work the system, which is what you want her to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We regulated my son's TV time and computer time and weekend treats based on how many points he got during the school week.  First we decided on a baseline; he was expected to have an average of 3 points every day.  On any day which he fell below the baseline, no TV in the evening.  Getting only one point in any category meant an hour early bedtime and no desert at dinner.  A perfect five point day meant we went out to dinner at his favorite restaurant (the teachers assured us he would only get a perfect score when he truly had a great day :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son's first grade teacher apparently used a discrete but openly displayed wall chart for showing the kids how they were doing.  They each started the beginning of the period in question with five bright red tacks and if someone misbehaved they lost a tack.  She commiserated with them when they lost a tack because of &quot;not making good decisions&quot;, and sometimes allowed them to earn them back by being extra helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T00:16:01.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23881" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-05T00:18:07.657" Score="4" ViewCount="1867" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 6, 7 next month. He's having a lot of problems at school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the beginning of the year he was getting tallies and notes sent home because he was hitting, pushing, kicking other kids at school. When asked &quot;why&quot; it's always in response to something they had done. He has an excuse for everything, it's always someone else's fault. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then his teacher recommended the star chart and it worked so well that we started to use it for other problems he was having. We've used it for getting up out of his seat, blurting out, and more recently following directions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since returning to school after Christmas break his behavior has plummeted. He loses multiple stars everyday for things like, &quot;getting mad his pencil broke and threw the lead tip and hit another student&quot; to &quot;disrespectful to teachers&quot;. His teacher called me the other day to tell me that he was so mad he had to pull a tally and lose a star that he started yelling that he hates school, he hates his family, everybody hates me etc. and wants him to speak to a counselor about his anger. He came home that day with a bruised forehead because he was so mad he tried to hurt himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His behavior at home is so up and down. One minute he's in a great mood, nice to his siblings, happy and playing. One thing will happen and he just goes off, screaming at his sister, hitting the dog, yelling that nobody likes him. Tonight we were playing a family game and after giving him multiple chances to play the right way we sent him to bed and he screamed and cried in his room for a good 20 minutes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We explain to him and explain to him until we're blue in the face that we love him but he cannot act this way. We've made charts at home for rewards based his behavior and he still can't seem to make good decisions, and just get's mad all over again when he hasn't earned a reward. He's extremely intelligent and get's good grades at school, but he's also extremely emotional and once he get's set off it seems to ruin the rest of his day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could it be ADHD? Does he have emotional problems? I don't want to put him on medicine but I just don't know what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20735" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-02-05T01:49:27.623" LastActivityDate="2020-02-25T08:54:46.973" Title="6 Year old son behavior problems at school and now at home" Tags="|behavior|school|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23881" CreationDate="2016-02-05T00:48:57.950" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are a wonderful parent, and you have good reason to believe you are doing all you can in the home. There is something called &quot;mismatch&quot; where even the best-intentioned parents and kids just aren't a good fit, which causes strife, but your situation seems way different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child needs an evaluation by a mental health professional. Your school counselor may have someone in mind. My bias in a situation with potential for harm and difficulties in multiple settings would be a psychiatrist--they may not just throw a medicine at you; they may work with a psychologist or be prone to therapy. However, if this is a major disorder, or the prodrome of a major disorder [by these I mean ADHD, mood disorder, or psychotic disorder], then it's a good idea to have a doctor involved. Speaking of which, your pediatrician should be notified and consulted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A wait-and-see approach may be considered, but how often can a child act out before becoming ostracized or parents refusing play dates?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some information you may need are changes in appetite or sleep patterns; sustained periods of euphoria, irritability, or depression; descriptions of make-believe (your son's sense of reality); focus and attention--both to things liked and disliked; consolability; and the status of his relationships with his attachments (those around him daily).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastEditorUserId="20507" LastEditDate="2016-02-05T00:57:22.440" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T00:57:22.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7770" CreationDate="2016-02-05T03:07:15.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I bought ours, I bought them lightly used (don't judge. =]).  That means I tried a few brands.  The ones I likeds best are the one size fits all.  Our boy just turned one and we have been using bumGenius since we ran out of disposables that were given to us. And the doctor just told us he's about the size of an average two year old.  If I could have, I would have bought several one size fits all of some sort (15+ for one baby) but also some wool ones to sleep in that are size specific.  The pee tends to leak more often out of all in ones at night than it does for disposables.  The wool ones we had when he was a newborn seemed to work well, but he quickly grew out of them.  It would seem very expensive to buy anything but one size fits all given the number needed for even one day and how quickly our little guy grew.  That being said, he seemed way too small for the all in ones as a newborn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20736" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T03:07:15.367" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21076" CreationDate="2016-02-05T08:28:27.120" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I see it, the best way to fix this issue is, legal divorce. You'll obviously get to keep your child if you prove the ill effects of the child's mother on it. &#xA;As it's very young, another mother shouldn't be a problem.&#xA;According to me, when women become intolerable, don't tolerate them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20737" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T08:28:27.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23885" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23889" CreationDate="2016-02-05T10:44:27.633" Score="10" ViewCount="1916" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are going to relocate to a different country in summer with our daughter who is going to be 2.5 then. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3989/how-do-i-prepare-my-preschooler-for-a-move&quot;&gt;this question&lt;/a&gt; but our situation is different and the answer does not apply. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ours is going to be an international move. Language is not going to be an issue but the accent will be a lot different. My daughter is going to a creche here and she loves her teachers and has good friends among the other children. I know »friendship« might be a bit strong a word at that age, but during closure last summer, when she was only 1.5, she kept talking about four or five of her friends for the entire four weeks. My wife and I are used to (international) relocations, so while it still is going to be stressful, we at least know what we're in for – However, it is the first move with a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can we help our daughter to cope? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can we prepare her before the move?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can we help her during the move when everything is away in boxes?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How can we make settling in easy?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also be interested in »lessons learned« in case someone has done this before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T10:55:15.080" Title="How to prepare a two year old for international relocation" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|moving|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23825" CreationDate="2016-02-05T13:49:47.407" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ok, we've found an answer that borrows from the suggestions here.  Step one, have a talk with him / her about responsibility (I really liked Jeff Y's approach of placing him in charge on occasions to teach him that it's not easy).  While framing the problem and it's seriousness, work directly with them to try and find a solution, stressing the importance of independence and timeliness.  In absence of something brilliant from the child, try and lead the conversation towards the following solution:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take an old phone and install an alarm clock app on it and place it on the other side of the room.  It takes a while, but eventually he will get up and turn it off.  The time can be an incentive to get out of bed and get ready on their own quickly or you move the time earlier the following morning.  This alone can save quite a bit of time, it's actually working for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Timers might be a good idea during breakfast (as mentioned by Francine DeGrood Taylor).  We haven't done this yet, but timers work well for us in other areas.  I might also bring in the general approach of a cumulative &quot;points&quot; as I think it's a good general motivational strategy for discipline that could have a relationship here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second piece is make sure they are up early enough to give them a few minutes to suck on their digital pacifiers or whatever &quot;deals with the devil&quot; you might have at your disposal.  My son is hopelessly addicted to a few games, which we allow him to play sparingly.  If he finishes on time, he has whatever remaining time before we leave to play his game.  It won't be much, but some games are ongoing and even the potential for five minutes is strong motivation for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;WARNING...  This should be presented as a very difficult to achieve and with absolute limits that could be risky for them as the game will be turned off when it's time to go.  It should be presented as &quot;you &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; even have time to play a couple minutes of your game if you're ready soon enough.  You'll need to understand the game they are playing a bit and warn them against starting a session that they can't interrupt when it's time to go. The times for this have to be very, very clear or this will backfire and they will throw a tantrum over having to put the game down at the moment you need to be rushing out the door, so use with caution. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20624" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T13:49:47.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23885" CreationDate="2016-02-05T14:05:11.483" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL; DR: We've been through the same thing, and we tried to explain to my daughter what was going to happen ahead of time, without hiding anything. Overall, it was a painless process, and after a month in the new flat, she seems to have adapted to her new environment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We went through exactly the same situation a few months ago with my 2.5 year old daughter. We relocated from one country (France) to another (Germany). She was also going at the creche at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we did is we talked about it about 2 month prior to the move. As we were packing boxes, we explained that a truck was going to come and pick them up to go to our &quot;new home&quot;. We were a bit worried of her reaction, but she was actually thrilled!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife also made a little booklet with drawings explaining the whole process, so she understood ahead of time what was going on. We did not mention the language change (she spoke both languages, but French a lot better).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the move happened, she was fully aware of what was going on, and was actually pretty excited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Settling in the new house was easier that we expected. However, we could see that she needed a bit of time to adapt. We visited a few creches and nannies before finding the right solution, and I think she was wondering what was going on. So, even though she had been diaper free (during the day) for over 6 months, we now started having regular accidents. We tried to be patient and not make her feel guilty, and it's getting better now, a month after the move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also had a friend in France, and we explained to her that she was staying there. We did not say that she wouldn't see her in a long time, but we did say that she was not coming with us. She mentioned her occasionally, but we always tried to remind her of the nice moments, rather than emphasize the loss. Today, she has a new playmate, and mentions her French friend very rarely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;AgapwIesu had &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/23890/20700&quot;&gt;this to add&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;tell her as much as you can about her new location, without creating&#xA;  expectations that you ma not be able to deliver on. We actually were&#xA;  in communication with several people where we were going to move and&#xA;  they sent us pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;give your child some decision making, let her feel that she has some&#xA;  control in this. Allow her to select what she wants to take with her&#xA;  on the move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Also make a big deal of taking things that make your home a home, your&#xA;  home. If there are special lamps, decorations, or portraits in her&#xA;  bedroom, take those with you. Even put as much of them in the stuff&#xA;  that you carry with you, rather than shipping it. Make sure that when&#xA;  you get there, these are the first things that you put in place, even&#xA;  within the first couple of hours in your new home&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My last word is that kids are supremely adaptable. Their brains are&#xA;  wired for new stuff, because everything is new. The move will be&#xA;  harder on you than on her, but your tension and stress will&#xA;  communicate to her, so take good care of yourself. Give yourself&#xA;  plenty of time to settle well into your new home. If you can avoid it,&#xA;  do not work for at least the first week in your new location. But if&#xA;  you must work, make sure that you have plenty of rest and family time&#xA;  at home. The togetherness of your family is the biggest factor that&#xA;  will carry all of you through the changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7126" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T10:55:15.080" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23885" CreationDate="2016-02-05T15:12:39.107" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;We also went through it with our kids, several times.  Our first international move, from the U.S. to Peru, was when our oldest was 3.5 and our second had just turned 2.  Then we moved from Peru back to the U.S. four years later, with a third child who'd been born in Peru and was just shy of 2 years old at the time of the move.  In the 11 years since, we've had several other international moves and one more child.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;The biggest thing, like Stilltorik has said, is to communicate with your child, a lot.  Talk to her about what is going to be happening, and what it is going to be like.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;But I want to add a couple of things - first, tell her as much as you can about her new location, without creating expectations that you may not be able to deliver on.  We actually were in communication with several people where we were going to move and they sent us pictures.  One family was going to be our next door neighbors and had a son the same age as our four year old.  We talked to her about the new friends she would be making, and how she would get to start school with this new friend.  She was actually very excited about the move.  If you can start communication with a family with children, at your new location, that will be really helpful.  Our second child really did not seem to grasp at all what we were trying to communicate to him, but we were not worried at the time (later we would find he had a severe form of autism).&lt;p&gt;&#xA;The second thing that I would encourage you to do is to give your child some decision making, let her feel that she has some control in this.  Allow her to select what she wants to take with her on the move.  Our daughter had a lot of stuffed animals, so she got to select which ones to take (basically she chose all of them, and that was fine).&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Also make a big deal of taking things that make your home a home, &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; home.  Pictures, wall hangings, quilts.  If there are special lamps, decorations, or portraits in her bedroom, take those with you.  Even put as much of them in the stuff that you carry with you, rather than shipping it.  Make sure that when you get there, these are the first things that you put in place, even within the first couple of hours in your new home, right away, make it yours.  This will give a needed sense of continuity not only to your child, but also to you as well.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;My last word is that kids are supremely adaptable.  Their brains are wired for new stuff, because everything is new.  The move will be harder on you than on her, but your tension and stress will communicate to her, so take good care of yourself.  Give yourself plenty of time to settle well into your new home.  If you can avoid it, do not work for at least the first week in your new location.  But if you must work, make sure that you have plenty of rest and family time at home.  At the very least, make sure that you all sit down for family meals every day.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;The togetherness of your family is the biggest factor that will carry all of you through the changes.  As we have taught our kids, friends move away, they come and go, and sometimes we are the ones that move away, but family stays together.  We are each other's best friends, and if we must move, we move together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T15:12:39.107" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23891" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-05T16:45:40.483" Score="1" ViewCount="293" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter will turn 5 in the next 3 months. I am having a hard time controlling her and getting her to listen to me. She is defiant and argues about everything. She has even started hitting me. If I tell my husband, he says that it is because she feels  she isn't getting enough attention. The truth is that I am a home maker and finish all my cooking and house work while she's in school and then I give her full attention. In fact, she will never let my husband and me speak or let me speak with my parents etc and will always intrerrupt in between which I feel is bad manners but my husband will never tell her to wait her turn. I don't want things to get out of hand and don't know what to do....I feel I need counseling and am getting depressed as days go by....please help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13158" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T12:16:56.953" Title="Discipline and managing a 5 year old" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23885" CreationDate="2016-02-05T16:45:47.243" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We did this some years ago. As far as our son was concerned it was all an excellent adventure. He was too young to be sad about losing friends, and the airplane and airport were exciting and interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are flying then read the fine print on luggage allowances carefully. We were able to bring a full size suitcase and hand baggage as &quot;his&quot; luggage, plus a child safety seat (which he sat in on the flights), plus a child care bag, plus a pushchair, all in addition to our regular luggage allowances. This made a huge difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T16:45:47.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23891" CreationDate="2016-02-05T16:59:54.537" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you and your husband aren't providing &lt;em&gt;consistent&lt;/em&gt; consequences for her actions.  You try to discipline her.  Your husband doesn't do anything (and it sounds like he might be undermining you).  You and your husband need to sit down and figure out what the consequences should be when your daughter misbehaves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter wants what most everyone else wants, to be happy, usually through getting her way.  And she has figured out she can get your attention any time she wants it by interrupting.  She isn't going to learn socially acceptable behavior unless you teach it to her.  Eventually she will get to a place in life where people won't put up with such behavior and those people won't have an unconditional love for her like you and your husband do.  You will shrug off mistakes and teach her.  Others may not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you and your husband have decided on what is appropriate behavior and what the consequences should be, implement your choices and follow through with the consequences &lt;em&gt;every single time&lt;/em&gt;.  This is how you will teach her, by correcting her.  Probably a lot.  It won't be easy going at first, but it will pay off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2016-02-22T14:24:26.693" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T14:24:26.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23894" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23891" CreationDate="2016-02-05T20:30:17.833" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine had this problem with her daughter.  They solved it (though it took a while) by pretending her daughter was invisible when she was misbehaving.  They remarked aloud that Sally was so loud they had to turn off their &quot;Sally ears and eyes&quot;.  In order to become visible again, she had to ask politely if she could be visible.  It sounds silly, but it worked for them.  At first when she asked they allowed it right away, later on she had to learn to sit quietly for a while before the invisibility wore off.  Once Sally discovered that her loud and disruptive behavior was producing the opposite results from what she wanted, she altered it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, as Becuzz mentioned, no method for solving this problem is going to work unless you and your husband are on the same page.  He needs to stop putting the responsibility for the solution on you and accept that he has to be a part of it.  He is correct that she feels she isn't getting enough attention.  That doesn't mean she &lt;em&gt;isn't&lt;/em&gt; getting enough, only that she &lt;em&gt;feels&lt;/em&gt; that she isn't.  Important distinction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But putting the question of whether your five year old is attention starved aside for a moment...is he really suggesting that hitting her mother is an acceptable method for asking for more attention?  Perhaps if you present it in this way, and ask him to help you figure out an acceptable way to ask, he may be more supportive of your efforts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-02-05T20:30:17.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23878" CreationDate="2016-02-06T00:28:36.917" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The schedule sounds OK, although it's more sleep than my son would have managed at that age, I know that some children do sleep more. The problem seems to me like a combination of not being quite tired enough at bedtime and possibly too many negative associations with her crib and bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this can be a tricky age as it's around the time that many children start to transition towards one nap but are not quite ready for it yet. The fact that it takes so long for her to fall asleep, whatever you do, really sounds to me that she needs a bit more time awake before bedtime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point you might expect bedtime to get a bit later. So as a first step, I would suggest starting the bedtime routine a little later so that she can still fall asleep at a similar time but without it taking so long and causing so much stress to all of you. Another thing you could try is pushing the naps a bit later and cutting the second one a bit shorter. She should eventually, as she gets older, transition to one later, longer nap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the fact that you've said this is not a new thing and has been going on for several months, suggests that she is feeling badly about her crib and bedtime. This could be from trying to get her to sleep when she's not ready to or it could be something else worrying her. It's almost impossible to know at this age as the communication is limited. But what you could try is doing something as part of her bedtime routine where she's doing something enjoyable but restful in the crib that's not trying to fall asleep. This could also help in the process of getting her to fall asleep alone and without breastfeeding. We started this process with our son by making sure he stayed awake for his bedtime feed and then my husband or I reading some books while our son sat in the cot. You could also try to tempt her in with a few of her favourite cuddly toys. After a while of starting this our son would lay down by himself when he got really sleepy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although your question title is about how to get your daughter to fall asleep alone, the question itself sounds more like you are just looking for a way to get her to fall asleep a bit quicker without so much upset so I've mainly focused on that.  However for the bit about falling asleep alone, you could see my answer to this question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/20390/how-do-you-get-your-kid-to-lay-in-the-crib/20396#20396&quot;&gt;How do you get your kid to lay in the crib?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I mentioned in that answer, there are various methods which involve letting your child cry for certain periods but we've tried to avoid that so I can't really offer any advice on it but I think there are plenty of places on the internet with lots of details. I've given more details on a gentler option in my other answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are now a bit further on from that answer. Our son is now 2 and still likes one of us to be in the room when he goes to sleep but he recently stopped wanting us to pat his back or try to help him sleep. This particular step happened without any effort on our part so it seems it was just a natural progression as he developed. As the accepted answer to the question that Ida linked suggested, children should naturally start to sleep with less adult interaction as they get older. Our son's sleep is still not perfect but it has improved a lot and we're now starting to realise how quickly the time passes and he needs us less as time goes on. Now we're feeling that we want him to stay small a bit longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-02-06T00:28:36.917" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23885" CreationDate="2016-02-06T02:46:53.783" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We moved internationally to a  completely different culture with no social contacts and without bringing any of our old possessions when our daughter was this age. She was completely fine, and picked up on the first day as if nothing had changed. I believe the main reason for this is because we didn't do anything that has been mentioned so far. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite simply, we didn't make it a big deal or belabor the preparation. At this age, kids are reading emotion and expectation. If they know you are stressed and worried, they will be. If you act as if they should be upset or bothered, they will be. I think it is similar to how a child will often not cry after falling until some adult starts asking them if they're hurt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not in disagreement with the advice given necessarily, but I do think there is something to be said for not worrying too much or expecting your child to worry. Expect them to be fine, express that you expect them to be fine, and they often will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20744" LastActivityDate="2016-02-06T02:46:53.783" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23885" CreationDate="2016-02-06T11:08:17.987" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My report is similar to user20744's answer. We moved from spanish-speaking Argentina to english-speaking Canada when our daughters were 3.9 and 1.7 years old. While in Canada, we moved three times in the first 5 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Completely painless to them, even with the 24+ hour trip and the inability to communicate with other kids for the first few months until they picked up the language (and this did not hinder them in the playground).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7389" LastActivityDate="2016-02-06T11:08:17.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23898" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-06T12:37:42.190" Score="1" ViewCount="210" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can speak A, B and C, my wife B and C. We live in a B speaking country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We want our daughter to learn all 3 languages, so we've decided that :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I speak to her in A&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;my wife speaks to her in C&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My wife and I communicate in B&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter also goes to daycare every other day, where they speak B.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this strategy have any big flaw ?&#xA;Will that be enough for her to learn B ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what should I do if she doesn't answer in the language she is supposed to (ie I speak to her in A, and she answers me in C) ? Should I correct her ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastActivityDate="2016-02-07T20:38:23.307" Title="Raising a tri-lingual child" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23878" CreationDate="2016-02-06T13:31:08.870" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best advice I've heard is the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.netmums.com/baby/sleep/controlled-crying&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;controlled crying&lt;/a&gt; technique. The essence is that you leave the baby to cry for a five minutes or so, go back in, briefly reassure the baby, and repeat.  Its tough for the parents, but often works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-02-06T13:31:08.870" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23900" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-06T14:48:50.987" Score="5" ViewCount="719" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy is 3years and 3 months and have been doing all the things charts, stickers, rewards, singing, dancing, high fives and videos you name it I have tried it! He goes all the time when I bring him but just won't ask to go potty!!! I'm at a loss. He just won't ask...I know they say when he is ready he will just ask but is there anything else I'm missing? They are going to ask him to leave school and I'm trying to not pressure him&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20745" LastActivityDate="2016-02-17T14:57:01.910" Title="How do you get your child to say I have to go potty?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23898" CreationDate="2016-02-06T16:41:17.560" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't speak for a tri-lingual case, but I have seen a couple of bilingual parents, English speaking mother, German speaking father, in an English speaking environment, where the parents faced a similar problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The father only spoke to his kids in German to his kids. They understood everything their father said, but always replied in English. However, usually around 5-7, after a visit to their only-German speaking grand-parents, they would start replying to their father in fluent German. It happened successively to their first 3 kids, not yet to the 4th one, but he's only 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if they had a good strategy, but it seemed to be working - in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7126" LastActivityDate="2016-02-06T16:41:17.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5103" CreationDate="2016-02-07T05:47:34.847" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Son has had white or grey hair in his coal black hair since he was three. He is now twenty and still has salt and pepper hair. My Aunt said we have a recessive gene. She said we are prone to have an albino child in our genetics. If that if how you phrase that. &#xA;Other than that he is handsome blue eyed  tall and everything a young man his age should be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20752" LastActivityDate="2016-02-07T05:47:34.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23906" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23909" CreationDate="2016-02-07T08:44:20.577" Score="8" ViewCount="402" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I would prefer that my lefty son would use PC mouse with his right hand. Is it worth a try or let him use his main left hand and prepare for infinitely changing of mouse button assignments?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4111" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T20:55:39.757" Title="PC mouse and lefty" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23906" CreationDate="2016-02-07T16:04:52.060" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I didn't start using a mouse until I was around 20 (yep, I'm old). I'm a lefty and suggest leaving mouse buttons alone, but physically moving the mouse to the left side of the keyboard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keeping the buttons in their default settings will allow him to use other computers easily. One aid to learning would be to use a simple, flattish mouse, not an ergonomic one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now that I'm on my PC, and not my phone...I rest both my ring and middle fingers on the left mouse button. Middle finger is also used for the scroll wheel while the forefinger is used for the right mouse button.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's older  he can decide if he wants to relearn, or more likely, dual-learn the swapped buttons method. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4060" LastEditorUserId="13196" LastEditDate="2016-02-08T06:38:08.570" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T06:38:08.570" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10480" CreationDate="2016-02-07T18:03:49.610" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try adding lavender spray and bath soap. It helps, when you make it part of you routine.  Also, if you have access to Welch's passion flavored drink. It works wonders and it taste good. Take care, you will fall asleep too&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20757" LastActivityDate="2016-02-07T18:03:49.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23898" CreationDate="2016-02-07T20:38:23.307" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That's a good strategy to for small kids. The language of the environment (friends, school, TV, games, movies, sports) will win in the long run, so you really don't need to do anything to support this unless you see some unusual problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having each parent talk a different language will be good in learning the basics of the spoken language and developing accent free pronunciation. At some point, when you start talking in &quot;A&quot; the kid will start replying in &quot;B&quot;, since it's easier. You need to think carefully on how to react to this and be consistent about it. &quot;Sorry, I only speak A with you. It's important so both of us can have our special language&quot;. Pretending that you don't understand is silly, so don't. If there is a grandparent or other relatives that are important and don't speak &quot;B&quot;, you can use them as an argument.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When the kids get older, reading and writing becomes an issue. Reading is pretty straight forward and can be supported by getting lots of books in the non-B languages, doing story time, etc. Writing, on the other hand, is hard. Learning to write will require some formal instructions and, if it's important, you need to budget time and classes for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schools can be a mixed blessing: if the school teaches one of your non-local languages, check the quality of the instruction. In our case, the American high school offered German, but the teacher had a truly awful accent and his grammar was mostly wrong. This did more harm than good, so we pulled the kids out of this class and enrolled them in a accredited on-line course. Spanish, on the other hand, was excellent with native speakers and very good immersive instructions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another potential pit-fall: use it or you lose it. As the kids grow up, they spend a lot of time with a single language. Contrary to common believe, the unused languages do regress substantially. That happened to my oldest in college. I recently saw friends whose kids used to be fully fluent but after moving and 10+ year of little use, they lost at least 90% of their English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ended up with one bi-lingual, one tri-lingual and one almost 4-lingual child. The difference was really due to exposure to situations and environments where they could use the languages in a &quot;natural&quot; way. The more that happens the more they learn and retain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2016-02-07T20:38:23.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4367" CreationDate="2016-02-07T21:29:15.037" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used these products on my babies, but my absolute favorite is the Made from Earth Aloe &amp;amp; Jojoba Lotion - which I've never even heard of until I have babies with very sensitive skin.  The Made from Earth lotion is the only one I can use on their sensitive skin. I thought $20 for the bottle was expensive, but it last so long! Way longer than the bottles I bought at Walmart....and it doesnt irritate them. The Made from Earth bottle lasts like 2 months - the cheaper stuff only 3 weeks....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20758" LastActivityDate="2016-02-07T21:29:15.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23878" CreationDate="2016-02-08T02:13:26.433" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you put your daughter to sleep with the light switched off or on? If she hasn't got a problem with her day time naps maybe she associates night time with something she does not like. I would try experimenting with light. Maybe try leaving it on until she falls asleep and try to put her to bed like you do during the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also as mentioned above, maybe try to make some positive associations with going to bed. Do something that she likes. Maybe it will slowly calm her down and change the way she behaves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13213" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T02:13:26.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23769" CreationDate="2016-02-08T03:15:10.887" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have twin boys and it was certainly obviously well before one was a year old that he was jealous of any attention that his brother got. It took a while longer before he starting showing any brotherly feeling, and even then, it appeared to be more to get praise or a good reaction from the surrounding adults. By three, he was better about not being always trying to get more attention than his brother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4060" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T03:15:10.887" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23919" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-08T07:19:59.930" Score="2" ViewCount="388" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a sister 8 years younger than me (18) years old. My Mom and I have always tried to do the best for her and support her, however she is really rude to all my family members. She doesn't respect anyone when she has been upset by her friends or at school - she shouts at home and uses vulgar words. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom is always on her side and tells us not to reply to her and be nice to her because she is a nervous girl. I always try but now I have had enough. She even says bad words to me in front of others and when I complain she stops talking to all family members and goes and chats with her friends, which leads to my mom fighting with me, sometimes ending up with mom threatening us that she will leave us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help me, as this atmosphere is killing me. I am an emotional girl and I can't see how my sister breaks the trust relationships in my family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20760" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:02:04.473" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:02:04.473" Title="how to deal with my sister" Tags="|siblings|conflict|extended-family|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23920" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23906" CreationDate="2016-02-08T09:10:11.500" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another option might be getting a ambidextrous (excuse my poor spelling) mouse (a mouse that can be used with both hands), on which you can create profiles and preferably with a button to easily switch between the profiles (with a button on the mouse). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way you can do the button re-assignment with a click of a buttonon the mouse. However these kind of functions are often found on a bit of higher end mice (i.e. Steelseries Rival).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can also be done on some Logitech mice (unsure if there's an ambidextrous one though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just throwing it out there ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20761" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T09:10:11.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23922" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-08T10:43:14.853" Score="1" ViewCount="967" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't seem to get my 4 month old boy to settle in his cot for naps. I have had to feed him to sleep, hold him for a while and then transistion him to his cot - in which he would just wake up 15 mins later screaming. Most of the time it's because he needs to burp (I do try to burp him and also feed him in an upright position to minimise burps). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Night times are ok. I do feed to sleep and he wakes a couple of times (before I go to bed) to burp but at some point he just goes to sleep on my breast and I put him in his cot and he wakes either twice, once or not until morning for a feed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have ended up for months just holding him while he sleeps because id prefer him to nap and get quality sleep than to just have a total of 45 mins to 1.5hrs a day across his 3 naps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried CIO today without a feed before hand - following the eat, play, sleep routine. First nap he cried for 2 hours and I really wanted to follow my sleep schedule so I got him out of his cot at the time he's supposed to be up - fed and played with him. He seemed happy but I knew he was tired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second nap was the same. Screamed when I put him down (rocking doesn't work with this kid) and he cried for 1hr 10 mins before I needed to pick him up because my 2 year old son was also trying to nap. I ended up feeding him and he napped for 30mins before needing a burp. Putting him back in this cot resulted in more screaming. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third nap he was rubbing his eyes so I put him down in his cot straight away and he screamed until it was bath time. 1.5 hrs later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without feeding him, how do I get him to settle himself even when he's hysterical? I have picked him up and soothed him a couple of times but he just smiles at me. I've tried patting but he just cries, I've tried white noise and he doesn't care. Should I just continue the CIO even though he's taking hours and still not remotely close to falling asleep? i know I've only done it for one day but it just seems like he's not going to give in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any help would be fantastic. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sarah. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20764" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T16:24:00.743" Title="How do I get my 4 month old to nap longer than 15 mins" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23906" CreationDate="2016-02-08T12:22:49.167" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a general rule, you should teach your child to live in the actual world. That means not needing to specifically adapt anything to his left handness. He will have to live in a world of right handed people, and mostly everything is built for right hand convenience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things like writing, or using chopsticks are better left to his left hand, because that is his dominant one ; but things that require special adaptation (scissors, can openers, mice) won't always be readily available; so it's better he learns to do it as most people will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Computers are usually shared at school, or for homework later on. If he can't use the mouse with his right hand, or if he is much slower than other people, his classmates will tend to not let him use the computer because he is the slow one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for anecdotal evidence, both my wife and older son are left handed, and both of them use their right hand for the mouse. And I just had a look in my office and out of roughly a hundred people only one is using it with his left hand, far less than the expected 10% or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6504" LastEditorUserId="6504" LastEditDate="2016-02-09T08:08:39.887" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T08:08:39.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23906" CreationDate="2016-02-08T16:51:12.643" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, mice may very well become obsolete by the time he grows up. Already, there's a generation of children entering school not even knowing what a mouse is. Nobody cares which hand you use on a touchscreen. The Apple Magic Touchpad is also handedness-agnostic: you use one finger to primary-click, and two fingers to secondary-click.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For that matter, you issue probably isn't which hand he mouses with (unless you are easily annoyed by having to move the mouse from one side of the keyboard to the other). The main issue is configuring the mouse to suit his left-handedness. The simple solution is: don't reconfigure it. He can just learn to use his middle finger of his left hand to primary-click and his index finger to secondary-click.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't recommend forcing right-hand use at this age, unless you are on a campaign to convert him to right-handedness. (That sounds psychologically harmful.) In any case, it's not that hard to learn to switch the mousing hand as an adult. I've done it myself to mitigate stress injury.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, just &lt;strong&gt;let your kid use the mouse the way he wants&lt;/strong&gt;. You don't have to make any configuration accommodation for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2016-02-09T20:55:39.757" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T20:55:39.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23297" CreationDate="2016-02-08T18:13:42.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You want to slow the flow of milk and/or allow the baby to control the flow better, and you can achieve this by playing with the baby's nursing position. First is to use gravity - use breastfeeding positions where the baby is higher than the nipple, like the laid-back/biological nurturing position. To give the baby more control, sit him or her upright on the mom's lap, facing her breast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was also told by a breastfeeding consultant that you can reduce the flow by literally holding the blade of your hand firmly on the breast, perpendicular to the nipple. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20768" LastActivityDate="2016-02-08T18:13:42.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23927" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-09T01:31:10.883" Score="1" ViewCount="62" Body="&lt;p&gt;Any answers to this question I would hope would cite at least one reputable source; I'm really not looking for 40 opinions. As a nonspanker, I'm frequently surprised this is still in practice around the world--probably a majority. Most of my friends (including medical professionals and teachers) start out their defense/explanation &quot;Yeah, but ...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is: everybody has a breaking point. Traumatic stress beyond a certain level damages the psyche, permanently. That point is different for each child, and once it's reached, you're child will never be the same. You don't know when you start spanking what the cut off is for causing emotional harm rather than &quot;education.&quot; Does the evidence suggest my concerns are warranted?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not trying to come across as judgmental, and I'm not looking for anecdotes. I'm wondering if there is bona fide long-term research on this subject. I'll even accept being soft if that's what the research suggests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastEditorUserId="20507" LastEditDate="2016-02-09T02:06:38.347" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T11:20:04.527" Title="Is there an evidence-based study regarding the long-term psychological effects of spanking?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2016-02-09T11:20:23.203" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5364" CreationDate="2016-02-09T02:02:11.833" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm 28.  I walked before I crawled when I was a baby.  I can tell you that I personally don't have any learning disabilities.  The only thing that was difficult for me was finding the rhythm to do jumping jacks. Those were sad for a while. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20773" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T02:02:11.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23929" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23941" CreationDate="2016-02-09T07:12:54.690" Score="36" ViewCount="12982" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 30 month old son asked me why people's eyes will hurt if one stares at Mr Sun. I told him the sun shoots sunlight, which is not visible and not touchable. But it exists and is made of atoms just like other things we can see. If it hits our eyes, our eyes will hurt just like a man hurts from a car accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it is not convincing answer, and I wonder if there is an easy way to explain this phenomenon to him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20270" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-02-09T13:23:44.013" LastActivityDate="2016-02-19T15:27:11.610" Title="How can I explain to my son why sunlight will hurt his eyes?" Tags="|toddler|science|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23930" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-09T08:38:13.377" Score="6" ViewCount="656" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 19mo old twin girls. Recently we have been noticing a change in their behavior to each other. They are jealous to each other about getting our attention. Whenever we are near, they fight with each other. They are also behaving very stubbornly. If they ask for something and they don't get, they become too much cranky. Being first time parent, we are little concerned, that, these behaviors do not become permanent. We are also clueless how to deal with the situation and pacify them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Appreciate any help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17524" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-02-14T01:35:14.733" LastActivityDate="2016-02-14T01:35:14.733" Title="How to deal with jealous and stubborn twin girls?" Tags="|siblings|twins|jealousy|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-09T09:06:24.773" Score="72" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer for a four year old girl:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;You know how your skin gets burnt in the sun?&#xA;  You know your eye is very soft? The inside is even softer and gets burnt very quickly. Pretty much straight away.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20775" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-02-09T16:54:25.847" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T16:54:25.847" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-09T12:12:18.073" Score="38" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tell him the truth, no weird contradictions. Mr Sun does not shoot something invisible, because obviously you can see light. Furthermore, it is not made of atoms (at least not in physical sense, of course, in some philosophical sense, it is).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just mention that the Sun emits very very much light, and too much light hurts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the way it is, although it answers his question by his premise. From a philosophical point of view, this is an answer he has to accept with no further explanations (like a dogma or an axiom).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the bare truth, not too much information, and every child is smart enough to cope with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20777" LastEditorUserId="20777" LastEditDate="2016-02-09T12:18:07.807" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T12:18:07.807" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22306" CreationDate="2016-02-09T12:20:42.737" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A kid is considered language-delayed if they have no words by &lt;em&gt;18 months&lt;/em&gt;, so he's not delayed yet in that area. His gross motor, on the other hand, is delayed. Has he been assessed for that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he does fall behind in language, you'll be glad to know that he shows a good chance of catching up. Kids who have good receptive language (ability to understand speech) tend to be more likely to catch up in speech than those who have delays in both receptive and expressive language. Does he also use gestures, such as waving goodbye, or reaching for things to ask for them? That's another good sign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He certainly doesn't sound autistic, if that's something you were worried about. His social skills seem pretty typical for his age, and you didn't mention any odd repetitive behaviour or sensory sensitivities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend getting his checked out for the gross motor delay, though. A kid his age should be able to walk independently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19888" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T12:20:42.737" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="270" CreationDate="2016-02-09T12:34:21.257" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends more on the individual dog and child than the dog's breed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, I'd recommend a large breed dog. Because they're so big, most large breeds have been selected for extremely gentle behaviour, while smaller breeds can sometimes be overly dominant, defensive and/or aggressive. A nippy chihuahua may not be a big deal for an adult, but a child will find them a lot more threatening. Conversely, a child is also more likely to unintentionally hurt a small breed dog. (Even a cat is better off, since they are more agile and can climb out of reach.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next issue is whether to get an adult or a puppy. A puppy will be more excitable and hyperactive, and while most large breed puppies aren't aggressive, they don't necessarily know their own strength and could knock a child over. So if you get a puppy, you'll have to put a bunch of work into teaching a solid sit-stay sequence, and making sure the puppy always sits while greeting the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With an adult, you have less control over their temperament, since they spent their formative early months somewhere else. Some adult rescues can be emotionally unstable due to past negative experiences. But if the dog meets your child and acts calm and gentle and happy with them, then they'll probably act the same way in your home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On your child's side, supervise interactions at first and teach your child how to pet gently instead of grabbing or poking or pulling. Also show the kid how to play with the dog using a dog toy, so they keep the dog's excitement directed at the toy instead of their own body.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most important, whatever kind of dog you get, is that you supervise early interactions and be ready to teach both child and dog how to treat each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19888" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T12:34:21.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21805" CreationDate="2016-02-09T12:42:03.960" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most kids will be just fine - in fact, you may lower their risks of allergies. An outdoor cat is actually more of a health hazard than an indoor cat, because they have access to wild prey which can transmit diseases like toxoplasmosis. Even so, the risk is minimal as long as the child doesn't have access to the cat's poop. So either put the litterbox up out of reach or in a room blocked by a babygate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Subjectively, though, I'd say indoor cats can sometimes be more psychologically unstable than outdoor cats. The big reason is exercise - outdoor cats can get as much exercise as they want by wandering around outsde, while an indoor cat can sometimes get stir-crazy and start showing inappropriate behaviour out of sheer restlessness. The solution is to make sure your cat gets regular playtime. You could even teach your kids to wave around a cat toy - I've seen some really cute Youtube videos of toddlers or even younger babies waving around a cat wand and giggling whenever the cat attacks it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19888" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T12:42:03.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22306" CreationDate="2016-02-09T12:44:43.570" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, until 36 months there is everything normal as long as the child understands everything. This can be tested by commanding him. Understanding may come long before producing, and if it takes so long, he will eventually start speaking nearly perfect grammar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, commanding is difficult when he cannot walk as you usually test with things like &quot;Bring me the glass of water from the table!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there is the other thing: The fact that he cannot walk is a delay in acquiring gross motor skills and may even influence the production of speech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20777" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T12:44:43.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14887" CreationDate="2016-02-09T13:00:50.853" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;When writing becomes automatic enough that they &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to write their stories down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At your daughter's age, I was the same way - told lots of stories but refused to write them down. The reason was simply because writing still took a lot of effort, so much that I couldn't get the creative juices flowing while trying to write things down. At six, your daughter has probably just barely started to read and write. It still takes her full attention to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By grade 3, schools shift from expecting kids to 'learn to read' to expecting them to 'read to learn', because at this point, most kids are good enough at automatic reading that they can absorb a new concept by reading about it. Even then, writing still takes more effort, because an 8 year old's fine motor coordination isn't that good yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case, I started writing my stories down around 11 or 12. Before then, writing was just too much effort. Now, as an adult, I've written (but unfortunately haven't managed to get published) several books, and I often write for fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want your kid's stories to get written down before that age, maybe try dictation. She tells you the story and you write it. You can read it back to her, or ask her to read it (but don't push - you don't want a creative activity to be linked in her mind with effort and pressure).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19888" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T13:00:50.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23938" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7673" CreationDate="2016-02-09T13:18:45.170" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can you carry on a full adult conversation in sign? If so, then yes, you probably could raise a full sign-speech bilingual child (bimodal bilingual). And yes, it has similar benefits to raising a child who is bilingual in two spoken languages. The research I've seen on bimodal bilingual kids has all focused on hearing children with deaf parents, but there's no reason a hearing parent who is a fluent signer can't raise a bimodal bilingual child as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently, there's a movement with hearing parents teaching signs to hearing babies ('baby sign'). Most of these parents are not fluent signers and teach only a limited vocabulary of signs, but even so, it seems to have a benefit. These kids show a slight boost to vocabulary, especially in the earliest stages of language development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sign languages seem to have a special benefit as well. Babies learning sign (whether from fluent signers or just baby sign) typically sign their first words a little earlier than most babies say their first words. The reason is because they have enough fine motor coordination to make recognizable signs before they have enough oral motor coordination to speak recognizable words. This earlier communication seems to serve an added benefit of reducing the severity of the 'terrible twos', since one impetus for tantrums is trying to communicate and not being understood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, some studies suggest that the bilingual bonus is greater the more distinct the two languages are - for example, if they belong to separate language families. Obviously, it's hard to get more different than using separate sensory modalities. Fluent signers also tend to have better spatial skills, because ASL uses spatial grammar. (Similarly, people who speak tonal languages are more likely to have perfect pitch.) Of course, this depends on your own mastery of ASL grammar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for how to teach it, just sign to your wife in their presence. That's how most kids learn any language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19888" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T13:18:45.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23939" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-09T13:21:51.360" Score="26" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answer is not convincing because it is not true. Tell the child the truth: that we can see because our eyes are sensitive to light, like our body is sensitive to touch – and like too much touch (a hit, actually) may cut our skin or break our bone, too much light may burn our eyes' interior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Atoms or EM radiation are irrelevant now, but it's important to emphasise &lt;em&gt;'too much light'&lt;/em&gt;, because one can get too much light form other sources, too. For example one should avoid looking at naked bright light bulbs or into a torch light, and especially into laser pointers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20781" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T13:21:51.360" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2994" CreationDate="2016-02-09T13:24:38.417" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;firstly, maybe your wife can learn more Hindi. If you teach her Hindi before birth &amp;amp; while the child is there, the child will be exposed to it more&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;second, whenever you are looking after your child alone, speak nothing but Hindi to your child&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;thirdly, see if you can find other native Hindi speakers to expose your child to - a babysitter or daycare provider who speaks Hindi can help teach your child (I actually picked up a few words of Bengali this way as a toddler, but since my parents don't speak Bengali I soon forgot it)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will probably have better English than Hindi, but you can certainly get them fluent if you make sure to to speak it to and around them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19888" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T13:24:38.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23941" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-09T13:53:28.690" Score="52" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/23931/4054&quot;&gt;the answer which discusses a sunburn&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get a more &lt;strong&gt;visceral&lt;/strong&gt; reaction, you could show him how a &lt;strong&gt;magnifying glass&lt;/strong&gt; can burn things by &quot;bunching up&quot; (focusing) the sunlight.  That should show him that the sunlight really is a destructive force.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20782" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-02-13T01:24:34.873" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23943" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10895" CreationDate="2016-02-09T15:37:57.040" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm currently having this problem with my 10 week old. The doctor recommended 2 ounces of chamomile tea per day, but we have not tried it yet. It's hard to say that anything will help, but sometimes I just bundle him up in a good, warm swaddle, hold him nice n tightly against me and give him a pacifier. When the gas acts up, I give him swift pats on the bottom and I rub his lower back and tummy.   Sometimes those things seem to help, and sometimes they don't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20787" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T15:37:57.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-09T16:28:32.317" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like other respondents, I think you should tell your son that the inside of your eyes can burn, just the same as your skin can, but quicker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But because your skin is on the outside of your body, it has lots of pain sensors to detect when things could damage it.  The inside of your eyes don't have pain sensors because they're inside your body where they don't get touched by damaging things.  That means that when you damage your eyes, you won't feel it, which is why you need to be extra careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20791" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T16:28:32.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-09T19:44:37.577" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take a bit of toilet paper, and hold it under the bath's faucet.  Turn on the faucet just slightly, so there are small drips.  See that?  The paper holds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now turn the faucet on full blast.  Does the paper hold up?  Nope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Intensity can be damaging/harmful.  An example could be made by making a soft touch with one finger, or allowing a whole hand to fall two inches.  Which is more intense and damaging?  Likewise, you can make a powerful slap.  (Slap your own skin... it won't be child abuse, it likely won't hurt, but it is likely to be loud.)  Explain that intensity is damaging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that it is not just the sun that can damage eyes, but sufficiently bright light.  Also explain that the sun is very intense light.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that looking at the sun for two or three seconds is probably not going to be a major danger.  But looking at it for longer can cause problems.  Analogies can be touching something somewhat-hot, or some other stimulus that just gets annoying/painful/undesirable when sufficiently repeated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20100" LastActivityDate="2016-02-09T19:44:37.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21687" CreationDate="2016-02-10T08:00:19.190" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps she is getting her molars?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter had those nightly terrors when she was around 13 months.&#xA;The only thing that calmed her down was chewing on bread / toast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During daytime we just noticed a higher flow of saliva...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20670" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T08:00:19.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-10T09:02:40.827" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take a black piece of wood (or something similar, black metal will also do) outside with your son. Then stay for a short time in the sun. Let him touch the piece of wood (be careful if using metal, this can get too hot to touch). It should have gotten really warm. Now let your son look in a mirror and ask him what color his pupils have. Now he should have learnt that dark colored things will get very warm in the sun and this may be harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20802" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T09:02:40.827" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23843" CreationDate="2016-02-10T11:08:51.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has been bitten a couple of times, including once in the playground while waiting behind a boy to go off the slide.  (I include this example to show the problem (and thus solution) are not limited to the kindergarten.)  I felt that the best solution would be if my daughter learned to stand up for herself a little better and in particular how to defend herself when attacked by a biter.  The one time in the playground my daughter was bit on her belly, so I practiced that scenario with her a little bit whenever it came up, trying to get her to push my head away from her so I would not succeed in 'biting' her.  Depending on the severity of the problem you might go for a more pro-active defense and teach your daughter to slap known biters away from herself if they get uncomfortably close.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did it work?  I do not know of any occasion afterwards when my daughter had to bring her training into practice, so I cannot say for sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T11:08:51.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23636" CreationDate="2016-02-10T13:16:54.217" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My children grow up multi-lingual, with one language spoken by me and the grandparents, which is also what my wife and me speak together, one language spoken by my wife, and finally the language spoken at day care, which is in the same language family as the one I speak with them.  The level of proficiency in each of these three languages closely mirrors the amount of exposure and need to speak them.  The lesson there is that with you being the only one speaking Italian to your son only a minority of your time together, he will probably refuse to speak it, in favor of German, which he will pick up fluently, even with no effort at all on your part, at day care.  So if you are serious about wanting to share your Italian, you should try to speak it 100% of your time together.  That way you will also regain your prior proficiency the quickest and best and it will start to feel natural such that you will not accidentally fall back to German.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T13:16:54.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23532" CreationDate="2016-02-10T14:05:55.900" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some (baby-)soap to wash their hands and bottom with should be all you need.  Use as little as possible and only water most of the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T14:05:55.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23952" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23953" CreationDate="2016-02-10T14:46:06.890" Score="1" ViewCount="553" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is currently 2 feet 11 inches tall. I want to buy a balance bike for her which says the maximum inner leg length of the kid should be 18 inches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her current inner leg length is 14 inches. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to know after how many months or years will her height be 3 feet 5 inches which is the maximum height required for that bike?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will turn 3 on June 17 of this year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T15:12:25.067" Title="How to know after how much time will the toddler be x inches tall?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23952" CreationDate="2016-02-10T15:07:01.523" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no way to &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; when a child will be a particular height, of course, other than waiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you can look at growth charts to see how children typically grow.  There are two major sets that I'm aware of; the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/cdc_charts.htm&quot;&gt;CDC growth charts&lt;/a&gt; and the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/who_charts.htm&quot;&gt;WHO growth standards&lt;/a&gt; (I link to the CDC's page on the WHO growth charts, as I find it easier to navigate; they link towards the bottom to the WHO page itself.)  In the US, the CDC recommends using the WHO standards up to 24 months old, and the CDC charts above that.  CDC charts have the major weakness that they're based primarily on Americans, and so will have less utility in countries where growth is significantly different - either due to genetic causes or environmental ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that &quot;Height&quot; is sometimes called either &quot;length&quot; (for babies/toddlers) or &quot;stature&quot; (for older children).  The CDC's charts use &quot;Stature for Age&quot; in the 2-20 year old child charts.  Also verify you have the charts for the right sex - boys and girls grow differently, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should do is find where your daughter has been on the last three or so measurements, in terms of percentile, on the length-for-age.  My younger child (who will turn 3 in march), for example, was at (if I recall) about 60%, 75%, and 55%.  Note the drastic differences - likely due to a combination of measurement error and different timings of growth spurts.  That's why it's good to use multiple measurements rather than just the 'last' one.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From that range, find the two lines that best reflect the range.  If three lines best reflect the range, use the outer two lines (ignoring the middle one).  Then follow those lines until they meet the height you're looking at; mark the two points where the lines cross the height (&quot;stature&quot;) line.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, assuming my child will likely be between the 50th and 75th percentile, he will reach 41 inches (3'5&quot;) between 4 (when the 75th percentile line crosses the 41 inch line) and about 4.5 (when the 50th percentile line crosses the 41 inch line).  That's relevant only for my son, of course; for your daughter you should look on your own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter's last three measurements were in the 25%-50% range, as her current one looks to be (Assuming 35&quot; was her measurement at 30 months), then it looks like she's likely to hit 41&quot; between 4.5 and 5.  However, if she actually measured more consistently between 50th and 75th percentiles (as you don't list any other measurements), she might be more likely to hit between 4 and 4.5.  And again, remember these are not predictions, just standards; my youngest was in the 75th-85th percentile for his first year, regressing towards the mean slowly over the second year.  This might, however, be enough for your current task (guessing how long a toy will be useful for).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also remember; growth charts tend to smooth over things like growth spurts in unhelpful ways.  Looking at the 2-20 chart for boys, the growth is basically a smooth up-sloping line implying a consistent growth per year from 2 all the way to 15 or 16; that's not because any individual boy grows consistently from year to year, but because the &lt;em&gt;average&lt;/em&gt; is consistent.  Children go through growth spurts at different times, and so the average appears smooth, even when the individual growth is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-02-10T15:12:25.067" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T15:12:25.067" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23954" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23930" CreationDate="2016-02-10T16:03:16.273" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This scenario always happens. If it is not too serious, it better to leave them to themselves to correct. That's a phase of their life. If it gets serious, try separating them and treating them independently of each other. Generally, these trends are not permanent and tend to change with various events in their lives. Try to create events where they tend to help each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20804" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T16:03:16.273" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23955" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-10T16:45:03.657" Score="1" ViewCount="291" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually all of us set up some rules (house rules, behavior rules, safety rules, ...) that we desire that our children follow. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When and how often should we remind the rules?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More specifically I saw a video on you-tube where they conducted a social experiment where they tried to get kids away from the parents. The rule here would be &quot;Do not talk with strangers&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20813" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T17:39:06.847" Title="How often should rules be reminded?" Tags="|rules|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23955" CreationDate="2016-02-10T16:56:36.043" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As often as necessary.  Depending on the child and the rule, once may be enough.  Other times it may take many, many constant reminders.  There is no magic one-size-fits-all number.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if you know or suspect your child will have problems remembering not to talk to strangers, remind them when you are about to go somewhere where they might have to deal with strangers.  If you can ask the child what to do when they encounter a stranger and they can remember on their own, they may not need to be reminded any more.  Also, reminding them when they are likely to need that information will help them to better remember it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Age is only a small factor in how much you may need to remind a child.  Small children typically need more repetition to remember some things but this isn't always the case.  Some small kids get it on the first or second try.  Some older kids need to be reminded a lot before they remember.  And any kid is subject to forgetting something when they are caught up in the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2016-02-10T17:56:12.380" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T17:56:12.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-10T17:23:35.633" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use it as an opportunity to teach moderation.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child probably knows that being warm feels nice, but too much warmth can be uncomfortable, and even more can burn. A cool breeze is nice too, but too much and we get cold, and can even get hurt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's the same with light from the Sun, we like having enough so we can see, but too much and it can hurt us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This can be used in similar lessons about other things that are nice in moderation, like candy, food, and a whole lot of other things they won't know about until adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20814" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T17:23:35.633" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23532" CreationDate="2016-02-10T19:01:46.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does the current soap not get her clean?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids use California Baby shampoo &amp;amp; bodywash with lavender, and they have used them since they were babies - the oldest is now 5. I will keep using it as long as they like it, as I personally prefer to use products without parabens on my kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find the shampoo fine, and can use it on myself too if needed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For hand washing, we use regular liquid hand soap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong using 'adult' products on kids (and even babies), if you feel the ingredient list is acceptable to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While not always unbiased, I find &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;EWG's Skin Deep&lt;/a&gt; database useful in finding products for my family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T19:01:46.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23959" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-10T19:23:49.913" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Great methods are by showing it in a practical manner.&#xA; Showing how a magnifying glass can harness the sun's power, or you can explain how everything we look at is reflecting light from the sun, and thus has been weakened in strength and doesn't hurt our eyes. But say you take a mirror which reflects almost all the light, that will hurt our eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you show these things, you can explain the seriousness of the matter, that our eyes are very sensitive to light so that we can see all this reflected light, but are way too sensitive for direct light, etc.  And just as we get sunburned on our skin that acts as a shield, our eyes are not a shield and directly get damaged permanently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other people said using it as an exercise of moderation. I agree with that totally and think that would be very effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20816" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T19:23:49.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23930" CreationDate="2016-02-10T20:02:26.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds to me that you have two kids that are two years old going on twenty months.  And what I mean by that is that it sounds like they are getting an early start on the &quot;Terrible Twos&quot;.  It's a perfectly normal stage where children start to become a little more independent and want control over their lives.  And they protest loudly when they don't get it.  Throwing fits, tantrums and loudly shouting &quot;NO&quot; are all likely to happen.  Don't worry though, it is just a phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just reassure your daughters that you love them.  Give them all the attention they need and they will be just fine.  You will have to constantly correct them, model appropriate behavior and work with them.  It isn't easy.  You will get frustrated.  But just love them and keep at it and it will all work out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T20:02:26.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23961" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-10T20:30:52.657" Score="-2" ViewCount="215" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have second-grade boy. He doing his homework correctly at home, but makes mistakes in class. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, he wrote all of his spelling words correctly at home but in school on his exam, he had five mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm so sad because I can't accept his doing wrong when he can do right!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20819" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-02-10T22:36:47.067" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T00:56:40.167" Title="my 7 years old boy doesn't have focus" Tags="|focus|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2016-02-10T21:18:17.790" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know why, you said so yourself. She's trying to push your buttons so don't let her. The best thing to do is try to not be visibly angry at her and be calm about whatever problem prompted you to get angry in the first place. Easier said than done. Tip-find an excuse to physically remove your self until you calm down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources - I went through a phase like this and according to my mom, still am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19768" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T21:18:17.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23961" CreationDate="2016-02-10T21:53:39.820" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son used to have a similar problem.  When he was quizzed at home he got all the answers right, but at school he would often do very poorly on tests.  We also noticed that when we just casually asked him questions about his knowledge he did quite well, but when we were upset or he was in a stressful situation he was unable to give correct answers.  It was like his brain just froze when he was stressed.  That problem got even worse as he anticipated the stress of being tested, and being unable to answer and getting into trouble for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be that if the teachers can alter his testing situation so that it feels less stressful, he will be able to recall the answers better.  The teachers at my son's school let him sit alone in a quiet room with a snack, and told him he could take his time.  That allowed him to feel less stressed and he was able to do well on tests.  This made him feel less anxious about tests, and he was eventually able to do well on tests in a normal classroom environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it might also be that your son isn't doing well because he just doesn't see any reason to try that hard.  Perhaps if you worked out some sort of incentives...every time he gets 90% (or some other reachable but challenging level) on a test, he gets a treat.  Or a &quot;star point&quot; which he can accumulate to redeem for prizes.  For example, if he gets, say, ten star points you will take him out to McDonald's as his prize.  BTW, positive incentives are far more effective than negative ones.  It's better to reward for success than to punish for failure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T21:53:39.820" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23961" CreationDate="2016-02-10T23:33:43.933" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has/had a similar issue. He would perform well at home but poorly at school. For him, a number of factors were involved:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My son was accused of selective deafness by his kindergarten teacher. A doctor found that he was partially deaf. Blocked Eustachian tubes had filled his inner ears with liquid reducing his hearing. This affected his ability to work in a noisy environment because he couldn't hear. This was resolved with an operation and 6 months of grommets.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Even now (grade 3), he has a hard time hearing in a noisy environment. We had another test done (a figure-ground discrimination test) and found that his brain had a hard time processing sound when the background sound was raised. This makes it hard for his to concentrate and makes him easily distractable. We're hoping he will grow out of this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He's a energetic boy, he has a hard time sitting still in class and concentrating. We exercise him before he goes to school which helps him for the first couple of hours.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2016-02-10T23:33:43.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23965" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23974" CreationDate="2016-02-10T23:53:24.900" Score="5" ViewCount="788" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately we have gotten into the habit of feeding dinner to our 14-month old mostly in the bath. It started around the time he turned one, at first as a means to get him to eat at all when he was too tired. It gradually changed so that now about 50%-75% of what he eats for dinner will be in the bath (at the table, he will just throw food on the floor, try to climb out of the high chair, or outright scream. Distractions like books or toys only last a short time). It doesn't seem to depend on when we have dinner, or whether we all eat together or he eats on his own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, eating in the bath tub is great for cleaning up the mess, but ultimately I'm worried we're encouraging the wrong behaviour. Does anyone have suggestions for how to encourage dinner at the table?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12001" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T17:36:41.510" Title="14-month year old takes dinner in bath only" Tags="|toddler|behavior|eating|bathing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23961" CreationDate="2016-02-11T00:56:40.167" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, tests not only test the subject knowledge, they also test the students ability to take a test, independently of subject matter knowledge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;try not to think of him as doing wrong - he just haven't mastered test taking as a skill. He might feel stress over taking a test, so try not to make him feel like he is inherently bad at taking tests. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you can do some 'mock tests' at home to help him build test taking skills. They can even be on very simple things, or on things that are more 'fun'. Just mimic the test taking scenario. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T00:56:40.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21687" CreationDate="2016-02-11T03:26:35.153" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 5 year old triplet girls. Each and every one of them experienced what you are describing (night terrors) off &amp;amp; on since at least 18 months of age. All of their 'terrors' were deep &amp;amp; frightening, just terrible to work through and I always thought it was something a person just had to outgrow. HOWEVER, my husband did a lot of investigation and found that &lt;strong&gt;when we tracked them for about week, each girl had their terrors around their own same time every night&lt;/strong&gt;. This is a big indicator that it is, in fact, a night terror (also, that they happen within 1.5 - 2 hrs after falling asleep). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;solution: If we woke them up 30 minutes prior to their night terror time 3-4 nights in a row, it broke the cycle.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as we caught them BEFORE the terror happened, we didn't have to wake them up for long. Just enough to stand up and have a few minutes of coherent conversation to make sure they fully woke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Also, night terrors can be very confusing for caretakers, too, because the person having them can appear to be awake. DURING a terror, if you ask them to answer a question, or perform a task, they can almost do it. For example, most recently my husband asked one of our girls to go pick up one of her stuffed animals. She walked right to it, and made the motion of reaching out and grabbing it, but missed it by about a foot. She 100% believed she had it in her arms. Keep giving them little tasks (walk to the bathroom for a drink of water, etc.) until they fully wake. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an article about what night errors are and scheduled awakening therapy. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nightterrors.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nightterrors.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20602" LastEditorUserId="20602" LastEditDate="2016-02-11T03:35:17.423" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T03:35:17.423" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23922" CreationDate="2016-02-11T17:30:50.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try putting a receiving blanket in between you and your baby while you hold him as he falls asleep. Babies notice the loss of body temperature when they get put down in their crib, so if you let the blanket absorb the warmth and keep as much contact with him as you put him down, the blanket will help maintain the temperature he fell asleep to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a related note, the 1.5 hr times you're encountering sound VERY similar to what my husband and I encountered when our triplets were about 3 months old. We spent at least 2 relentless months rocking and burping babies for 1.5 - 2 hrs a night and it was driving us insane.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had a night time routine that started at the same time every day: bath, story, bottle, burp...and burp, and burp, and rock, and rock, and oh my LORD. They just wouldn't go down. They had this issue with naps sometimes, too. Always in 1.5 hr bouts that spiraled the whole day. It was just awful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In total desperation, I read this book: &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0761143114&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very basically, babies have a 90 minute rhythm that we were missing. We had no idea we were overshooting their sleep window, so when we did not get any one baby 'down' 80 minutes after they first woke up, their next 90 minute cycle would kick in and BLAM: we ended up burping/rocking/etc. until they hit the next sleep window (80 minutes later). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that's how you end up with a baby that's awake for nearly 3 hrs straight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This book changed our life. I HIGHLY recommend it. It's straighforward, easy to read, talks about CIO (pros &amp;amp; cons, what it really is, how to do it effectively if you choose to try it) and how kid's sleep schedules change as they age (provides schedule examples). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having first-hand proof that this method absolutely worked, I think this book could make a world of difference for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20602" LastEditorUserId="20602" LastEditDate="2016-02-11T17:44:15.923" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T17:44:15.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23965" CreationDate="2016-02-11T17:36:41.510" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;For one, I'd get a plastic mat you can put under the high chair, you can always carry that later to the bathtub and clean it off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's going to be too hard to get him to eat at the table.  If he throws a fit, or tosses his food away, he's clearly not hungry enough...yet.   When he's hungry enough, he's going to eat!  Don't give in and take him back to the tub, let him stay hungry for a few more hours and when he's good and hungry you won't have a problem getting it down.  1 year olds are not going to intentionally starve themselves in rebellion (that comes in the teenage years though!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20833" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T17:36:41.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23955" CreationDate="2016-02-11T17:39:06.847" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should have consequences if the rules are not followed.  Post the rules in an &quot;If..Then..&quot; format, and when they break them, take them to the list and have a pre-defined consequence.  You have to remind them of the rules, likely hourly, then daily until they learn to follow your expectations!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20833" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T17:39:06.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-11T18:10:12.600" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;point out to your son that the iris of the eye is a lens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;get a magnifying glass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;point out to your son that the magnifying glass is a lens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;take your son out on a sunny day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;use the magnifying glass to focus the sun light onto some flammable material like some paper. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;State the obvious that the focal point in the back of the eye will react the same as the paper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;qed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20834" LastActivityDate="2016-02-11T18:10:12.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23977" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-12T00:14:31.563" Score="7" ViewCount="357" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child can develop &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_child_syndrome&quot;&gt;Middle Child Syndrome&lt;/a&gt; when feeling left out by the family. It can easily be caused by parents being too involved with the older and younger siblings and not making enough time with the middle one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the extra challenges that parents can face with the middle child and how to overcome them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20786" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-02-13T11:34:57.100" LastActivityDate="2016-02-13T11:34:57.100" Title="How can parents prevent middle child syndrome?" Tags="|parents|siblings|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23978" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-12T02:47:12.903" Score="1" ViewCount="168" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5-month-old infant. It's always many hours after feeding - he is burped. He has always done it, but not every day and mostly just a little. Sometimes, it's a lot of volume. Is he losing nutrition or there not much actual milk coming out?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11975" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-03T17:35:57.050" LastActivityDate="2018-09-03T17:35:57.050" Title="Why does my infant occasionally regurgitate breast milk?" Tags="|infant|health|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="23979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23977" CreationDate="2016-02-12T03:33:43.007" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way that I can think of is to schedule time with all of your kids.  Basically, you have certain days of the week (or hours) where you will spend with your middle child and work only on his/her interests.  If any of the kids complain, I recommend to sit them down and explain that you love them all and each one should equal time (assuming they are old enough.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, if they are too young, find a common activity that everyone can enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20836" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T03:33:43.007" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11608" CreationDate="2016-02-12T03:53:42.990" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've said the same thing about my son and I'm his father.  Will I actually cannibalize him?  No.  But I will rub against him or kiss him or hug him.  He's a baby, he &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; cute, of course I want to get as close to him as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps it's an evolutionary response to a small child so that the parents will look after him/her and will not be abandoned.  Perhaps this response evolved so that parents that did feel this way saw their genetic legacy continue more successfully than those that did not do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20836" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T03:53:42.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23981" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23983" CreationDate="2016-02-12T04:02:40.997" Score="1" ViewCount="439" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 6 month old little boy.  His baby mattress has a side that's firm (for infants) and a side that is soft (for toddlers.)  He's about 19 lbs (last time weighed) and I am wondering when should I flip his mattress over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But more generally, for future reference, when does child stop being an infant and becomes a toddler?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[edit]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason why I asked this is that I want to know the transition period from when a child stops being an infant and becomes a toddler.  I figured that a toddler stops being a toddler around 3 - 4 years and my kid is nowhere near there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20836" LastEditorUserId="20836" LastEditDate="2016-02-13T20:50:56.513" LastActivityDate="2016-02-13T20:50:56.513" Title="When does an infanthood end and toddlerhood begin?" Tags="|toddler|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-02-14T15:31:30.917" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23978" CreationDate="2016-02-12T04:22:18.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A book I read (perhaps one of the What to Expect series) noted that a little bit of spit-up forms a puddle that looks like a lot.  To demonstrate this to yourself, take a tablespoon (~15 ml) of milk (not breast milk) and pour it on your counter.  Is your infant spitting up that much?  More? Less? Rarely do my kids spit up that much.  And that is far less than a feeding.  Obviously, I don't know how much your kid is spitting up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3837" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T04:22:18.673" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23981" CreationDate="2016-02-12T06:15:34.747" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, a child becomes a toddler at around 1 year. This is around the time when they start walking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the mattress, keep it on the firm side as long as it isn't impacting their sleep. If you do think it is impacting sleep you might still want to wait to turn it over. The firmer side helps prevent SIDS by keeping it easy both for babies that roll over on their stomach to keep their breathing clear and also for them to roll back over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20838" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T06:15:34.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11608" CreationDate="2016-02-12T07:55:43.157" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't you feel an urge to sometime &quot;tightly hug&quot; people you truly love?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the &quot;eating&quot; phrase. My mother said that to me and my sister a lot, even after passing the baby years, so there's no need to worry about cannibalism ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20761" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T07:55:43.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18175" CreationDate="2016-02-12T13:34:20.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can you nurse more during the day and take the pressure off of more solids. Also have you tried cooking with the breastmilk...stirring into warm cereals, mixed in with sweet potatoes or softer foods? Or drizzling it over? I used to make mommy milk popsicles blended with grain, fruit, veggies, ect. They were a hit especially blueberry. I have plenty of friends whos kids really do follow the under 1, food is just for fun. Your little one is only in this stage for so long. So honestly try to up the nursing during the day and continue to present finger foods in the high chair while you're eating. I would just offer bits of what you guys are eating, with maybe a dash of Breastmilk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20839" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T13:34:20.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23987" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="23989" CreationDate="2016-02-12T14:24:00.513" Score="2" ViewCount="1427" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm pretty sure the answer is in a word: daycare, but I just thought I'd check if there was another way.  Daycare is probably what we are going to go with; but I thought I'd just check my other options first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1880" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T15:34:01.547" Title="How to study with a small child?" Tags="|toddler|daycare|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11608" CreationDate="2016-02-12T14:26:51.993" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is actually a reasonably well researched explanation, and it has nothing to do with etymology.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we are overwhelmed with a strong positive experience, our brain attempts to regulate this by simultaneously producing an aggressive response to the same experience; these opposing reactions are known as dimorphous expressions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your wife says she wants to eat the baby, she literally can't handle how cute your baby is, and her brain is attempting to regulate her emotions with an aggressive response!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to Yale University psychological scientist and lead researcher Oriana Aragon, this is a mechanism that helps us to regulate emotion and is completely normal and healthy. “These insights advance our understanding of how people express and control their emotions, which is importantly related to mental and physical health, the quality of relationships with others, and even how well people work together,” she said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Re: Study published in Psychological Science; co-authors include Margaret S. Clark, Rebecca L. Dyer and John A. Bargh of Yale. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;@Ida Thank you for your suggestion; you're absolutely right, a link to the study is necessary: &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/01/27/0956797614561044&quot;&gt;http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/01/27/0956797614561044&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20840" LastEditorUserId="20840" LastEditDate="2016-02-28T21:11:14.617" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T21:11:14.617" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23987" CreationDate="2016-02-12T15:34:01.547" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two years old is a challenging time to try to work or study at home with the child, but many people do manage it.  One big issue is how much time you need to spend studying while the child is awake; if you're able to manage 3-4 hours per day, for example, you can usually fit that in while the child is asleep for the most part, but if you're doing 8-9 hours a day, that's of course impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some tips from my experience and others I've known:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get your child's nap schedule down to a very regular nap schedule.  Preferably a 'long' nap rather than a lot of short ones; that will make it easier on you and likely easier on the child as well.  One two hour nap from 12-2 every day is 2 hours you can spend studying uninterrupted, which can be a big help.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If possible, arrange your home so you can study while your child plays near you.  If your child has a safe play space near your couch, for example, you can study on the couch while watching the child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A table is actually better than the couch, both because it lets you write more easily, and it puts a bit of separation.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some activities your two your old may enjoy may be doable while you study - in conjunction with it, even.  Coloring on the table while you study, for example, makes the child feel like he/she is doing what mommy/daddy is doing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are a two parent household, try to arrange your schedules so your co-parent comes back from work at a time such that you can get some studying in while he/she is home.  For example, if your child wakes up early most days (say, 6), maybe a 9-6 schedule would work for your co-parent while you study from 6-8 and he/she watches the child.  Or the inverse, if the child wakes up at 9am most days, co-parent can work 7-4 and then watch the child after 5 while you study.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are alternatives to day-care that may work better for your situation.  Mother's Helpers, for example, are commonly used in this sort of situation; someone who comes in, watches your child &lt;em&gt;while you are there&lt;/em&gt;, usually for a few hours.  More expensive per hour than daycare, but with far more flexibility.  Also can be a local teenager - someone who maybe would 'babysit' while you're home, somewhat cheaper than a Mother's Helper, and with the added bonus that since you're actually there you don't have to worry as much about whether they're trustworthy to leave a two year old with (as you're physically there watching them).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find other parents in similar situations, and trade off.  You watch both children on Mondays, they watch both children on Wednesdays.  Even just a 3-4 hour playdate can be enough for you to get studying in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, there is daycare.  Some centers have 'drop-in' services available (i.e., not scheduled), or flexible hours (so 3-4 hours per day instead of full day).  Not cheap, but not a bad solution.  If you're a full time student, up to $3000 per year can be refunded on your taxes via the Child Care Tax Credit, as well (but only if all parents work or are full time students or some combination).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T15:34:01.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23990" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23978" CreationDate="2016-02-12T16:24:30.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl regurgitated at least once a day until she was several months old, sometimes &quot;The exorcist&quot; way (&lt;a href=&quot;http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb5tqhFGmg1qb9nsso1_500.gif&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb5tqhFGmg1qb9nsso1_500.gif&lt;/a&gt;). We were worried as you seem to be, and reassured by our doctor, advising to &quot;test&quot; it the same way Ze'ev Felsen suggests, by pouring a table spoon of water on the floor to have a reference. I did, and indeed although the quantity on the floor looks big, it was only a table spoon... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advise would then be to just keep a close eye on your baby's weight curve, this being a very good indicator of feeding quality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T16:24:30.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-12T18:20:38.910" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can give him a similar experience (though not actually damaging) by taking him in to a darkened room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wait in there a bit while your eyes adjust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then either turn the light on, or go out to a much brighter room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The discomfort can illustrate your point without damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20844" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T18:20:38.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23992" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-12T19:43:12.047" Score="1" ViewCount="192" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an Everlast 70 lbs heavy punching bag that I'd like to hang from an &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B004HFLUK8&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Everlast Heavy Bag Stand&lt;/a&gt;; it seems pretty secure to me, I'm thinking that if I use the correct &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gearexpress.com/black-diamond-neutrino-carabiner.html?gclid=CjwKEAiAova1BRDS15OXjcug_FMSJACWNAKZ4tnQ1B4jk170kgcqGxI0uz7dwttg22RXoTs2oVqYmBoCYIrw_wcB&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Carabiner&lt;/a&gt; and maybe replace the bolt at the top with something else that doesn't have an open end to it, maybe it will work out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I'm also not certain about this, so I figured I would ask here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those &quot;spikes&quot; look like this:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/NDE6c.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/NDE6c.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then up top it looks like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/fAfDd.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/fAfDd.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ZnRa8.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ZnRa8.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1880" LastEditorUserId="1880" LastEditDate="2016-02-13T21:49:57.020" LastActivityDate="2016-02-13T21:49:57.020" Title="Securing a 70 lbs punching bag safely around a toddler?" Tags="|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23993" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23992" CreationDate="2016-02-12T20:13:06.083" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looking at that picture it's the two weight spikes sticking up from the feet of the stand that would worry me more than the odds of the bag falling... and you can always add a safety strap from the top of the bag to the eye (or tied around the stand in front of the eye)  as a back-up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T20:13:06.083" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23994" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23992" CreationDate="2016-02-12T20:34:17.310" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd use some &quot;blue&quot; Locktite on the threads of that bolt at the top, so vibration doesn't eventually unscrew the bolt. (I can't really tell if it has it's own locking mechanism).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, use a carabiner that has a screw lock.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20833" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T20:34:17.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23981" CreationDate="2016-02-12T20:40:59.987" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There isn't a clear line, but I usually define it around when they start to move by themselves (crawing at first).  This is when you need to be extra-careful to baby-proof and avoid hazards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd keep the mattress on &quot;firm&quot; for much longer, that hard surface is great for development.  You can read about the dangers of parents who let their child sleep in carseats/swings too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20833" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T20:40:59.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23930" CreationDate="2016-02-12T20:51:18.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Specifically treat them as individuals.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm an identical twin, and though I don't recall being 19 months old, I do recall the feeling of needing to compete with my brother for attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give each some individual time with you (but do make sure that it's equal time). They're individuals, but they'll spend a lot of their lives being treated as half of a set, so it's especially important that you emphasize treating them as individuals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That goes into all aspects of your interaction, sure, it's cute when twins are dressed the same, but it steals a sense of individuality and inspires acting out in other ways to be differentiated. Many twins already have rhyming or alliterating first names, it only compounds the issue of individuality to also dress them the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20814" LastActivityDate="2016-02-12T20:51:18.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="23999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5672" CreationDate="2016-02-13T12:14:41.457" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put him in one area with one type of toy, and show him how to play- BY PLAYING. Smile and laugh and have fun... March around the house having fun, dance, move your feet, teach them about body parts and keep saying the words over and over,.... Have a super fun bath with foam characters. Stick them to the wall and make them talk to each other.... Put your plastic Tupperware in a low cabinet in the kitchen and sit on the floor taking things out and stacking them. Roll cars or wheeled objects across the floor and make whirring sounds. PLAY PLAY PLAY. He may just watch you quietly, but he's learning. As he is a child, he WILL try it. Usually after I do something for 5-6 mins I step away back to Mommy world, washing dishes or something to give him a chance to process... And once he takes part, I exclaim positively GOOOOD!!!!! Or YAY! or YOU DID IT!!! The main thing is, you have to show them different ways to play, and show them it's fun and they will do the same. If u run out of things to do, something as simple as putting an empty cup and other random objects on a table, and then sitting them on the floor and then back on the table (in silence) will entertain them. Finally, once they help you sit it on the floor, say &quot;Put it on the table!&quot; With a smile, and then you both do it. After about two reps he should get it... Smile say Goood, and walk away. I have a front load dryer, laundry is also a fun activity... Same concept handing them clothes... &quot;Put it in the dryer, &quot; Thank you&quot; over and over..... Toy groupings for the closed in large space can be blocks, stacking cups and rings /wheeled toys /books /round objects/ things grouped by color/go to goodwill and find shiny metal things that make different noises and a couple wooden spoons.... Have a noise making time. Same as before sit on his level and pick up a wooden spoon and start tapping the pots (I just have a couple metal mixing bowls and some oatmeal containers) and listen to the sounds.... When you tap, smile and be excited, hand them the spoon you just used for them to try. Play with your baby. Then even when you can't because you're doing Mommy stuff they'll learn to play with themselves and remember how much fun they had playing with you. Eventually they will model your behavior and invent their own fun. Always be enthusiastic and supportive. Also you can google sensory Montessori activities, even if you are planning on conventional school the activities are great and completely non televisiony&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20854" LastActivityDate="2016-02-13T12:14:41.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23564" CreationDate="2016-02-13T16:28:38.880" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a bit of variation in your question in that you say you don't see the problematic behaviors at home but then she doesn't listen to you. This is an important distinction: whether the problem is global or specific.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I offered this in a parenting group, and it wound up being a meaningful exercise: Make a list of the top 10 things your child needs from its primary caretaker (there were a bunch of foster parents). Now remove &quot;Discipline&quot; and place it 11th. Discipline becomes a problem when numbers 1-10 aren't being met. And then of course it's a problem.* As a completely irrelevant example, I'll include my list from 2011 (my kids were 2 and 4)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Love&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Proper Nutrition (at least not hungry)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Security (knowing who I can trust and where I will sleep, blankie)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consistency (the rules don't change from day to day)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Support (I know where I can turn if I have a problem)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A voice (I am being heard)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Exercise&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Structure (probably more important for many kids)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Positivity (kindness, generosity, thank-yous)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gifts and/or rewards&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not claim to be right in terms of my 10; however, I do believe that discipline problems run deeper than impulsive acting out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Punishment/reward strategies are often all that a child needs, but when it doesn't seem to be meeting your needs as a parent, you can take a global look at your lifestyle/household to see if there are possible changes (like partners not yelling at each other in front of their kids).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Then there are kids that have a mental illness. Discipline will only go so far. Although zealots will claim all ADHD can be treated without medication and that major depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia are &quot;adult problems,&quot; failing to get a mental health evaluation when nothing else seems to be helping ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-02-13T16:28:38.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23929" CreationDate="2016-02-14T06:52:25.803" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The sun is hot. Extremely hot. Hot things can burn. I don't believe you need to make the explanation any more complex than this, or attempt to explain it scientifically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The answer you've given the child would likely confuse him more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The analogy to a car accident I believe is not at all appropriate. The child presumably has no experience of car accidents, so would have no way to understand what a car accident would feel like. Speaking from experience, a car accident feels very different to looking at the sun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're going to try to explain the concept of 'hurt'. It would be best to use something the child may have had experience with, grazed knees, ear infections, getting new teeth etc. The child would very likely understand that these are unpleasant sensations, so would want to avoid anything that may be equally unpleasant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could therefore say something like &quot;if you look at the sun, your eyes may hurt, like your knee hurts when you fall down.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also if you want the child to not look at the sun, avoid personalizing it. i.e. stop referring to it as &quot;Mr Sun&quot;. The child might be trying to see Mr Sun's smiling face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-02-18T04:10:44.477" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T04:10:44.477" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23978" CreationDate="2016-02-14T21:30:23.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although probably not a problem if this is the only symptom, seemingly random spit ups like this are a common sign of a mild intolerance to something the mother is eating. Acidic foods are a common culprit. When this happens take a note of what was eaten earlier, and a pattern may be found.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14460" LastActivityDate="2016-02-14T21:30:23.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24007" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-15T03:02:51.553" Score="1" ViewCount="452" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a beautiful 5-year-old son (almost 6). Over the past 6 months, his aggression and behaviour are becoming really difficult and hard to handle. He has been quite violent towards himself (hitting himself in the head both with his fists and numerous objects), other children in school, school staff and myself.  This has become such a problem, that he has been excluded from school. The school decided he does not take part in trips. Just recently he busted my lip because I wouldn't let him run away in a supermarket.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try talking to him, trying to explain why myself or school are upset but don't really get any kind of response. He is currently on a waiting list on the autism pathway for assessment, doctor thinks he has possibly ADHD. He has speech problems and is currently attending speech therapy and has been for the past 2 years.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is the most loving and brilliant child anyone could have when he has his good days and I praise him a lot! (I think too much sometimes) Gets rewards or treats like choosing a new film or a new book or something sweet. He has no problem with food which is great as he eats fruit and vegetables always! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nobody seems to want to help which is very frustrating for both me and my son as I am getting desperate for answers. I would be eternally grateful if anybody could suggest any strategies to put in place or any advice to possibly help him become a little more calmer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20866" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-06T13:30:19.953" LastActivityDate="2019-06-06T13:30:19.953" Title="How to help my violent 5-year-old son become calmer?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|school|violence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24008" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-15T05:16:00.210" Score="14" ViewCount="3493" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is 8 yrs old. This morning he asked me, &quot;Mummy, you told me if a girl hits you don't strike her back. Should I continue to get hittings from her just because she's a girl?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was unable to answer his question, but still I managed to tell him that when any girl does that just hold her hand tightly and then he asked, &quot;If she strikes from behind and bullies me then what should I do?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a recommended solution or set of actions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20869" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-02-15T13:55:52.183" LastActivityDate="2017-07-21T02:57:46.807" Title="How should my 8 year old son deal with a girl who hits him?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24008" CreationDate="2016-02-15T07:33:59.290" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Physically retaliating is never a suitable response, as you and your son realise. I think if this is happening at school perhaps it might be time to involve the teachers.&#xA;Your son should certainly not have to put up with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-15T07:33:59.290" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19434" CreationDate="2016-02-15T16:23:06.953" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can tell him that energy is like food (or better yet, sweets) and say him (if he understands the concept of money; which he will probably understand, because 5 years old children already are grown-up enough for it) that you can't buy too much food, because money may run out, and it's the same for energy.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;So you can just tell him that water, especially hot, costs much money is wasted.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20871" LastActivityDate="2016-02-15T16:23:06.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24012" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-15T18:31:52.923" Score="0" ViewCount="463" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 1.5 year old girl who has taken to hitting, which is entirely age-typical. My response is to gently tell her no and put her hand back at her side. Unfortunately she occasionally has to witness one of her parents hitting the other. She learns fast and mimics behavior after witnessing it once or twice so I fear she is learning that hitting is a behavior to imitate. How can I make it clear to her that hitting is wrong out of the presence of her other parent?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20319" LastActivityDate="2016-02-15T19:31:50.997" Title="How do I teach toddler hitting is wrong when she sees her parent hitting?" Tags="|toddler|hitting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24007" CreationDate="2016-02-15T19:25:58.717" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have there been any structural changes in home life or school life in the last 6 months?  If there have been changes he may be reacting because he doesn't like or understand them.  It can help to explain, in a way that he can understand, what is changing and what is not changing and also to explain why.&#xA;As noted in some of the comments, consistency and follow-thru in approach on discipline and reward is a big factor.  However, since you describe him as sweet natured and note the behavior change is dramatic and recent it sounds like a reaction to something that is big in his world.  We have three kids,  I grew up in a large family and have lots of nieces and nephews around.  I was not always a believer but have come to believe that kids generally have some reason (maybe not fully logical to us) for dramatic changes in behavior.  Try to find out what, if anything is bothering him.  It may be that asking directly doesn't work.  You may want to try just spending a lot of time with him without any kind of pressure on him to 'open up' to you.  My wife has gotten more out of our kids at that age by just letting them control the conversation for a while then nudging gently to get them to open up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids usually do have a logic at that age, it's just not readily apparent to us.  It really sounds like something has changed to cause him to change.  If so you need to figure out how to allay his fears about that change if you can.  We adults often do things that make sense to us but are profoundly puzzling and frightening to children, even at an age where we see them as advanced enough to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20875" LastActivityDate="2016-02-15T19:25:58.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24014" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24012" CreationDate="2016-02-15T19:31:50.997" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ummm...let's accept that the parental 'hitting' is playful or in no way abusive (think about that one for a minute).  The only way to really reinforce the message you want her to get is to stop the hitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, children mirror what they see and hear and they pay deeper attention to those things than to specific instructions.  Fortunately, this is how having kids can make us better adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20875" LastActivityDate="2016-02-15T19:31:50.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19929" CreationDate="2016-02-15T19:45:10.300" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's never too young to start any type of familiarity with letters, shapes, etc.  One easy thing you can do to just teach the ABC's is to sing one of the many ABC songs to them.  You can download free ones for your iPod if you have one, sing it yourself, buy a tape or CD.  We did a lot of driving with infants in the car and had a selection of songs about ABCs, colors, shapes...it can drive you crazy listening to them over and over but it's amazing the rapidity with which toddlers absorb stuff.  These are just quick, easy, passive ways to introduce ABCs.  It's even better if you have and take the time to actively play with them around concepts related to ABCs and reading, but we don't always have that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20875" LastActivityDate="2016-02-15T19:45:10.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24019" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-15T22:38:45.190" Score="1" ViewCount="764" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 17-month-old at our daycare. He doesn't chew off food or even chew food.  His food is cut up into small pieces and he just swallows that way. How can we help him learn to chew his food and chew off (like biting sandwich or cracker). His parent is not very concerned, but we are. We just want to help him as we are concerned of him choking since he doesn't chew up his food. We feel he should be biting off pieces by this age. Please help us!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20880" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-14T12:10:34.863" LastActivityDate="2019-05-14T12:10:34.863" Title="How to teach a 17-month-old to chew food?" Tags="|toddler|teaching|eating|daycare|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24020" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-15T23:00:36.617" Score="2" ViewCount="1535" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two 6- and a 9-year-old sons. They live with their father. I have found out that they share a bedroom with their 18-year-old step-brother there. The 18-year-old plays videogames rated 16+ and 18+. Their father allows our boys to watch him play these games. And their father messaged me that he isn't stopping his 18-year-old playing this sort of games. We are going through courts to get my boys with me. At my house we have my boys staying over for the weekend and we don't allow them to play or watch such videogames.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it okay for an 18-year-old to share a bedroom with 6- and 9-year-olds? Is this allowed in the UK?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20881" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-25T18:16:07.770" LastActivityDate="2018-11-25T18:16:07.770" Title="Is it okay for two 6- and 9-year-olds to share a bedroom with their 18-year-old step-brother?" Tags="|primary-schooler|age-appropriate|middle-childhood|co-parenting|bedroom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24020" CreationDate="2016-02-16T01:42:08.737" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't really think this is a good idea. Not with that kind of age gap, and particularly not with step-siblings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are no laws preventing this. The laws only apply to siblings of different sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I believe it's just not ideal though, is that an 18 year is basically a full grown man, and may be into all sorts of things that may not be appropriate for such young kids. Also if the 18 year old doesn't have other younger siblings, then he may not have really learned what's appropriate what isn't where young kids are concerned. These things don't come naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also doubt an 18 year old would be particularly comfortable sharing a room with a 6 and 9 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the UK Housing Act 1985&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;325 The room standard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(1)The room standard is contravened when the number of persons&#xA;  sleeping in a dwelling and the number of rooms available as sleeping&#xA;  accommodation is such that two persons of opposite sexes who are not&#xA;  living together as husband and wife must sleep in the same room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(2)For this purpose—&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(a)children under the age of ten shall be left out of account, and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(b)a room is available as sleeping accommodation if it is of a type&#xA;  normally used in the locality either as a bedroom or as a living room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-02-16T10:16:11.113" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T10:16:11.113" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8552" CreationDate="2016-02-16T03:11:12.490" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other parent is giving you the solution:  &quot;he should learn to assert and defend himself&quot;.  This is a life lesson, for everyone involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son has learned, properly, that it is not OK to hit a 2 year old.  He also knows that it is not OK even for a 2 year old to hit him.  He has been abiding by that, thus fulfilling his duties/responsibilities to others and society; even trying different societally accepted responses.  Unfortunately he is dealing with someone who has chosen to live at a more primal, non-societal level.  Sure, they have couched this choice in the language of society but anyone looking at the actions and results of the behavior of both the parent and the child can see through this sham.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give your son permission to 'assert and defend himself'.  Use those very words in front of this pseudo-friend and look her in the eye with a smile for this is her very own solution.  A 2 year old is capable of learning and controlling herself.  Your son can be a crucial part of that education.  He's not hurting her, and he's not bullying.  He is simply illustrating &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; boundaries so that she knows how to behave around him.  Sometimes friends are only friends because it's convenient for them and they need to learn that friendship is a two way street.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20875" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T03:11:12.490" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24020" CreationDate="2016-02-16T10:12:02.510" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is purely a cultural issue. It is not illegal in the UK (although in England and Wales there is specific prohibition for opposite sexes sharing a room)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Historically, everyone in a family slept in the same room - as houses were only one room. In fact, the animals tended to sleep in the same room as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In some cultures, sharing a room with extended family is still normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it sounds like you are not comfortable with it, so it's worth looking at pros and cons, so you do need to discuss it with him, and ideally with the other parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-02-16T10:28:11.877" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T10:28:11.877" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24026" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23821" CreationDate="2016-02-16T18:28:19.443" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I heard a tip the other day that is similar to the role-playing idea.  Make it a game, asking silly questions about the people in their class.  Have one of the questions be something like &quot;If aliens came down and took one person away from your class, who would you have them take?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Phrasing things in silly ways like that could help kids open up, because it's not &quot;real&quot; - and help you notice patterns.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20885" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T18:28:19.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24027" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-16T21:12:08.223" Score="1" ViewCount="146" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 years old son is very good at using toilet during the day, but he still wets his nappy more often than not (he wears nappies only for the night). He doesn't seem to be bothered about this at all. What is the best way to train him not to use the nappy during the night? And when is the best time to do it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="844" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T13:13:05.053" Title="Night time potty training for four years old" Tags="|potty-training|night-time|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24028" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8580" CreationDate="2016-02-16T21:16:11.263" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pour a small amount of distilled white vinegar into the palm of your hand and rub it into your skin for up to 45 seconds before washing it off with warm, soapy water. Vinegar is nontoxic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20758" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T21:16:11.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7446" CreationDate="2016-02-16T23:59:35.643" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Learning to share is very important, but so is learning to take turns. In this situation I would just gently hold my child back and remind him that he needs to wait for his turn, or ask the other child if he can join in the game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding wanting to play with older children. You need to be careful to avoid saying things like &quot;you can't play that game because you're too little&quot;, or &quot;you can't play with that child because you're too young&quot; etc. This can harm a child's confidence and discourage them from trying new things. It is very hard to avoid this though, and I have found myself saying these very things. In fact it was only when the kinder teacher mentioned that our youngest was saying things like &quot;I can't do that because I'm too little&quot; that we realised we were doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About all you can do is try redirection. Try to show the child more age appropriate things he could try instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-16T23:59:35.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24030" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-17T07:55:53.370" Score="4" ViewCount="1336" Body="&lt;p&gt;She used to be fine going to sleep by herself. Then around Thanksgiving, nothing changed mind you, she began refusing to sleep unless my husband or I was in the room. We have tried changing her bedtime routine, skipping naps, a night light, and she still screams and cries for us if we try to leave before she is asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20890" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:03:24.977" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:03:24.977" Title="How can I get my 2.5 year old to go to sleep without me?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|crying|bedtime|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23900" CreationDate="2016-02-17T10:34:29.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a complicated and difficult thing for kids to learn on their own. &#xA;If you think about it from a cognitive perspective, they need to go from:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clueless that I'm peeing --&gt; I am peeing --&gt; I need to pee --&gt; I should tell an adult that I need to pee  (adapted from &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00V3L8YSU&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Oh Crap Potty Training&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where is he on this spectrum? If he goes when put on the potty, he is likely aware that he is peeing. So the question is, has he already reached the step of &quot;I need to pee&quot;? I'm assuming from the details you've given that he hasn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to get a child to anticipate their need to pee:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Model it&lt;/strong&gt;: Say throughout the day, hmm. I wonder if I need to pee. No, my bladder doesn't feel full. Or yes, I feel like I should try to pee.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Prompt less/not at all&lt;/strong&gt;: Put a potty within easy access, or multiple potties throughout the house, have a naked (or pants-less) day or two and have some towels on hand. When he starts to pee, if it's somewhere other than the potty, physically move him to the potty and say &quot;pee and poop go in the potty.&quot; This will slowly build the awareness of &quot;I need to pee&quot; and his body will give him more warning time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make the setup at home like the setup at school&lt;/strong&gt; - if he needs to ask to use the potty at school (if the potty is inaccessible to him) then make sure you follow the same at home so he gets used to the idea of asking&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure he knows who to ask at school if he needs to go&lt;/strong&gt; school can be a scary place, with a lot of people. Go with him and show him, naming names, who he can ask if he needs to use the potty.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have confidence in him:&lt;/strong&gt; let go of any worrying, sense of urgency, or even wishing about him going potty. Toddlers have the healthy (and developmentally appropriate) inclination to resist pressure and crave autonomy. So, when we truly back off and mean it, it usually frees them up to do all the things they are capable of doing. Say something like &quot;I know when you are ready to go on the potty, you’ll tell me you need to go, you'll sit and do it,” and really believe that. Believe in him. It will pay off. Adapted from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/04/potty-and-play-both-take-patience/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Janet Lansbury&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2016-02-17T10:34:29.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24030" CreationDate="2016-02-17T14:01:47.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For whatever reason your child is feeling just a little less secure than she was, and wants that extra re-assurance of your presence. I would suggest simply stay with her until she goes to sleep. Don't try to fight her on this. This stage will pass. It won't take very long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-17T14:01:47.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23900" CreationDate="2016-02-17T14:57:01.910" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's still in diapers/nappies, then you could try changing him to undies. Nappies are so absorbent that the child can wet himself and barely notice it. This is great for keeping the child dry and comfortable, but very counter productive for potty training. He needs to be able to feel it. The suggestion about some pants free days is also a good one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-17T14:57:01.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24030" CreationDate="2016-02-17T15:53:34.613" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having 4 children myself, I've noticed that nothing has to change for them to decide that something they have been doing is no longer necessary. Although, many times something has changed but as parents we don't think the kids will notice or we have yet to discover the change ourselves (like a disagreement between parents). It is a normal thing for children to test boundaries as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With two of my kids, they did not want to go to sleep without either my wife or I in the room. What I ended up doing was taking a migratory approach over a couple &lt;strong&gt;weeks&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I started by &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; sitting in bed with them while they went to sleep. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A few days later, I staged myself &lt;em&gt;near the door&lt;/em&gt; with it &lt;strong&gt;open&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A few nights after that I stood in the doorway in &lt;em&gt;clear view&lt;/em&gt; so they could see me. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the final phase, I would wander out of sight for brief periods and then reappear, reinforcing the idea that even if they couldn't see me, I was still there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: Don't expect a perfectly steady progression. Each step will take time and regression can be expected here and there. Also you might find yourself constantly reassuring them that it is ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that said, I'll leave you with this. The period of their lives where you can be with them while they go to sleep is precious and very brief. I'm not advocating sitting there with your 8 year old while they go to sleep (extenuating circumstances excluded). I am saying that if you look back and spent a few years holding your child's hand when they went to bed, you will look back with fondness, not regret.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20895" LastActivityDate="2016-02-17T15:53:34.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24027" CreationDate="2016-02-17T16:43:21.940" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids develop at a wide range of rates. Your son may not have the bladder capacity to go an entire night without peeing. I also wouldn't assume he is waking up to pee. I have 4 kids and some took longer than others to wake up dry consistently. Especially if you allow him to have fruit juices or anything with sugar later in the day. They can contribute to increased urination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, noticed &quot;nappy&quot; and if I didn't have a wife who was South African, I wouldn't know what that was (American problems). They are called diapers almost exclusively over here despite the fact the rest of the English speaking world calls them &quot;napkins&quot;, &quot;nappys&quot; or &quot;nap naps&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20895" LastActivityDate="2016-02-17T16:43:21.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24036" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24038" CreationDate="2016-02-17T17:40:41.550" Score="25" ViewCount="4468" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife became pregnant with our third child when our second was only ten months old. She was nursing our second at the time, but she always had a problem of not having enough milk even though both her and the baby wanted to nurse. She knew she couldn't nurse two babies at once, so three months into the pregnancy when our second was just over a year old, she weaned her off the breast milk completely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now our third one has been born (that makes 3 girls for us), and some people have told us to not allow the second to witness my wife breastfeeding the newborn because this would remind her of when she was nursed and make her miss mom even more (she already lost a lot of mom's attention in the past few months and especially in the past few weeks when the delivery happened).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we follow this advice and keep the second one away from mom when she nurses the newborn (which is very frequent) or should we allow her to see it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-02-17T18:30:38.387" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T23:20:55.357" Title="Should a toddler who weaned only a few months ago be allowed to see mom nursing younger sibling?" Tags="|toddler|newborn|breastfeeding|attention|bonding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18874" CreationDate="2016-02-17T18:11:00.630" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;My situation was very similar to yours. My husband and I filed natural paternity since neither of the boys legally had a father at birth, and the courts gave them his last name and amended their SSN's and birth certificate so that we are protected legally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither of my boys knew their &quot;donor&quot; or bio-dad as we came to call him when they got older. We just always told them they were special because they had 2 dads; 1 that couldn't stay, and 1 that picked them and loves them very much. If they ever asked why the other one couldn't stay I simply said I don't know, which satisfied them for a surprisingly long time. That way you're not bashing the sperm donor, who you may dislike, but your son is half him biologically and you don't want him worried about being bad like his biological dad or something. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our boys are now 13 and 15 and they plan to meet bio-dad this summer with us. I'm not sure how or if this will change it, but their entire lives, they've been very well adjusted about the whole thing. You'd be surprised how much a kid can handle, especially if you're still providing a loving, stable home life, which it sounds like you are. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest being honest, I totally agree that finding out later in life can be detrimental. It can make them wonder about the very foundation of trust and love that you've been raising them in and question if anything is to be trusted. Be honest, strong and loving and he'll be fine. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20897" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-09T15:32:03.830" LastActivityDate="2019-02-09T15:32:03.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24036" CreationDate="2016-02-17T18:29:58.590" Score="54" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not speaking from either personal experience (my children were all spaced farther apart) or from academic research in this answer. That being said:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that &quot;hiding&quot; the breastfeeding will eventually end up making the toddler feel more isolated and excluded by her younger sibling. It will require specifically removing one sibling from another's presence (whether the older must leave the room, or her mother takes the newborn out of the room) &lt;em&gt;as well as&lt;/em&gt; preventing the toddler from talking to or interacting with her mother at all. That seems more likely to result in loneliness or even resentment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, invite the toddler to see what's going on. Talk about the differences that happen as you grow up (&quot;you eat big girl food now!&quot;) and invite her to bring her own snack or drink to sit near mom while the baby nurses. Make sure that you set some boundaries (the older sibling can't climb on or roughly hug while the baby is nursing, and may need to wait patiently for attention), but those are inevitable parts of being an older child (the same restrictions apply during diaper changes, for example).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-02-17T18:29:58.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24040" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24070" CreationDate="2016-02-17T20:11:02.840" Score="19" ViewCount="1193" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old daughter has a best friend at school who is Muslim and from a Muslim family. She is aware of the Presidential race, presumably from news. To my surprise, she has tearfully told me that she is afraid that if Donald Trump is elected President of the United States, her Muslim friend will be forced to leave the country.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm &lt;em&gt;shocked&lt;/em&gt; that this is a concern that a 6 year old girl is having, and I'm not sure how to respond. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best I can tell, she got this idea from a misunderstanding of when Trump called for a travel ban on all Muslims to the US. Along with Trump's other anti-Muslim sentiments, it seems that this eventually morphed into a fear that her Muslim friend will be forced to leave the country if he becomes President.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I can tell, she doesn't have a lot of understanding of what Trump's platform is, just a fear that Trump is targeting her best friend and others like her. Hearing that Trump currently has a lot of support for President (as the Republican frontrunner as of the New Hampshire primary) probably reinforced her fears that he might actually be elected. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Correcting her by saying that Trump actually called for a travel ban, not deportation, isn't going to allay the underlying fears (and I believe that her Muslim friend has family relatives outside the US, which would apply to). I tried to explain to her that Trump can't make such a unilateral move on his own but she doesn't seem convinced, what with the media and Trump himself acting like he can. It doesn't help that at her age, she doesn't have a good grasp on how many parts there are to the government.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've stopped watching the nightly news to limit her exposure to Trump's campaign, but I know she is still talking about it with her friends at school. It's causing her a lot of stress and I'm not sure what to do. How can I allay my daughter's fears?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I'm posting this on behalf of a family friend, who is not familiar with Stack Exchange, but I used the term &quot;my daughter&quot; for simplicity.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14446" LastEditorUserId="14446" LastEditDate="2016-02-19T00:30:10.153" LastActivityDate="2016-11-15T02:43:12.813" Title="My 6 year old daughter is afraid her Muslim friend will be deported if Trump is elected President" Tags="|fears|politics|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24040" CreationDate="2016-02-17T21:44:55.907" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the best way to reduce her fear is to explain that what she fears cannot happen. You could read this excert from The Bill Of Rights together...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or&#xA;  prohibiting the free exercise thereof&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that her friend is free to be a Muslim in America, and there is nothing that Trump, or anyone else can do to prevent her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;America is a great nation, founded on principals of freedom, tolerance, and diversity. It has survived bad presidents in the past, and can do so again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be interesting to learn where her fear has come from. If she is frightened about this, then her friend is probably more so, which may mean her friends parents aren't aware of the limitations of presidential power in America.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The president is not free to implement whatever draconian laws he may want to. However there are certainly countries where a head of state does have this kind of power.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way for your daughter to overcome her fear might be to help her friend overcome hers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-11-11T00:27:47.690" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T00:27:47.690" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24036" CreationDate="2016-02-17T21:50:37.473" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not feasible to try to prevent the child from seeing the new baby nursing. It probably will be hard for her, as will lots of things now, but she will learn to adjust.&#xA;You'll both just need to be extra mindful to give the other children lots of hugs, and lots of attention, whenever you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-17T21:50:37.473" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22635" CreationDate="2016-02-18T05:07:51.403" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The father is behaving in a childish manner himself, and in doing so indicating that ignoring is OK. You need to address that issue first. He needs to be modelling the type of behavior he wants from his daughter, not the other way around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="1004" LastEditDate="2018-01-20T07:29:18.067" LastActivityDate="2018-01-20T07:29:18.067" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24052" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-18T10:27:05.850" Score="5" ViewCount="425" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 3.5 years old and, naturally, sometimes has tantrums, gets upset and frustrated, and wants a hug. Her brother (22 months) adores her and, imitating us, will often try to hug her or give her a toy when she is crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As their parents, it's upsetting that she often doesn't respond to his affection and will generally only hug him when asked to by us. Although they do sometimes play (and rough-house) together and she is rarely outright hostile, her attitude is more often one of wary indifference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to encourage her to reciprocate his feelings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9773" LastActivityDate="2016-02-26T10:13:46.920" Title="How can I encourage my 3-year old daughter to respond to her younger brother's affection" Tags="|relationships|siblings|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24040" CreationDate="2016-02-18T11:36:45.743" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will try to make some suggestions which you may or may not find suitable:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to her about it. She obviously understands something about politics, explain her more about it, be ready to answer her questions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;(If you are not a supporter of Trump, which we can't know) tell her that you personally do not wish him to become a president, promise her that you'll take her to the voting room (if legal/doable where you are) and that you'll vote against him. Explain her that this is what elections are about and this is how we speak our opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Show your support of their friendship.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, don't let your emotions to get involved in this too much, it would be very difficult to handle her fear if you feared the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4048" LastEditorUserId="4048" LastEditDate="2016-02-18T12:17:11.640" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T12:17:11.640" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24054" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24052" CreationDate="2016-02-18T12:04:12.277" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, 22 months, her little brother is probably a bit too little (as far as she's concerned) to be a very fun playmate. Things will likely change significantly once he gets to 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our children are approximately the same age difference as yours, and we encountered similar issues at that age. Our daughter was mostly just frustrated and annoyed by her younger brother, until he was old enough to understand and be able to actively participate in her imaginative games. Now they're best friends and are very affectionate with each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you just need to be patient, and they'll be just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T12:04:12.277" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24027" CreationDate="2016-02-18T13:13:05.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He's not bothered, because he has no concept that wearing nappies is not a normal thing. He has been doing it all his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of things you could try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Avoid giving him drinks just before bed. Try instead to encourage him to drink more water earlier in the afternoon.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get him up to go to the toilet an hour or so after he goes to sleep. This is a bit disruptive, but it may be possible to do it without him waking up fully. If you keep this up for a while, he might start to do it on his own.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The aim is just to keep his nappy dry for a few weeks or a month, and hopefully it will become a habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T13:13:05.053" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24030" CreationDate="2016-02-18T17:37:57.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say that &quot;nothing changed&quot;, but something obviously did, even if it was only in the mind of your child.  Maybe she saw or heard something that scared her or caused her imagination to run rampant.  Maybe she discovered the fear of death.  Maybe a friend lost a parent or relative, and she fears the same will happen with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bottom line is that she feels insecure (afraid, uncertain, worried) being alone in her bed at night for some reason, and I think the best thing you can do is to be with her to allay that insecurity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It isn't ideal for you (bedtime takes a lot more of your time if you have to sit/lie with her until she's asleep), but it is ideal for her, which is what matters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she feels completely secure with the fact that you are there and taking care of her, she will wean herself from this need.  In fact, don't be surprised if, after a while, she suggests that you don't need to stay with her till she falls asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This could take a couple of days or a couple of years, but investing in that trust bond with your child is invaluable, and worth all the additional time spent right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T17:37:57.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24059" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-18T20:01:26.690" Score="5" ViewCount="433" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been a single mom to my one and only son who is now 8 years old. He has never met his biological father/ sperm donor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is should I tell my son about him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Up to this point he has never missed him nor asked me about him. I met my fiancé about a year ago who has no children nor has ever been married. He loves my son very much, and my son calls him daddy. But his youngest sibling told my son he was not his dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know whether or not I should tell my son about sperm donor? He willingly signed his rights over a month after my son was born without ever meeting him. He moved in with his mother's next door neighbor and never paid for our divorce or nothing concerning my child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do? The last thing I want is to hurt my son by telling him the sperm donor did not care to ever meet him, but I also don't want to lie to  him and make him want to meet him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20913" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2016-02-19T14:31:01.963" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T07:52:26.970" Title="Should I tell my son about his bio dad / sperm donor?" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24060" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24059" CreationDate="2016-02-18T20:47:02.960" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking as a Dad to two children, of which only one shares my DNA: The can of worms is now open, so you best get to putting a real and honest spin on things to your boy. And do it in a way that he won't ever feel like he was lied to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest boy's bio-dad had no interest in being a parent. They have met, but not until my boy was 16. I facilitated that. But I'm still Dad. The one that taught him to ride a bike, calmed his jitters before his first date, and stayed up all night at the hospital when asthma attacks happened. If the sperm donor had wanted a role, I'd have been thrilled. More people to love a kid that I loved? Great! I harbour no ill will towards the sperm donor - he gave me an incredible gift. I've had that kid my life for 14 years now, and am thrilled to have had that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And my boy knows that I chose to be his dad because it was what I wanted. Yep - I was there by choice - no other reason. That made it special to a kid that was maybe feeling rejected. He knows that I asked his permission to marry his mom and become his dad, and that while I could have adopted him legally without his required consent when he was young enough - I waited so that was to be his choice too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you're right - Don't lie to your boy. His Father just isn't able to be a father right now, but loves him enough to want whats best for him and to let him have a new dad. And maybe someday he'll be ready to be in your life and when that happens we'll welcome him back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't badmouth the sperm donor - he's half of what made your kid. And maybe someday the kid'll be lucky enough to have two Dad's. Don't sell that as likely or give undo hope, but acknowledge that it is possible and if so you won't be an impediment to them getting to know each other.  Mine wasn't that lucky, but he sure as hell knows that it wasn't because we didn't wish it for him. And in the meantime kiddo, Fiance want to be your dad and you want him to be your dad - so lets be the awesomest family ever!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes there will be questions. Some you may not answer because they aren't yours to answer. It's not your place to speak FOR sperm donor when it comes to details, so just keep that as non-specific as possible but positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But yeah, it's time for a real talk because now the kid has questions that need answers. Its scary, I know, but he loves you and trusts you and loves the fiance.... you'll get through it fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T20:47:02.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24036" CreationDate="2016-02-18T23:20:55.357" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personal experience, single data point only:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son was a big fan of breastfeeding and the milk and the comfort of being on mom.&#xA;He was weaned while we were expecting his little sister.&#xA;(He was close to 2 years old.)&#xA;I expected trouble when the newborn started nursing.&#xA;(But I never imagined trying to keep it secret/separate.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He complained/screamed and seemed envious the first time, maybe 2.&#xA;We let him know that there wasn't room on mom's lap for the both of them and that he would have to wait his turn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still spent time reaching for mom's breast after that, but not when it was the baby's turn.&#xA;Further, while on mom's lap, any overtures to nurse were redirected to the bottle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It didn't take long, he didn't really &quot;regress&quot; to nursing at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that older kids should be able to see themselves as part of the baby's life and care, as well as receiving plenty of individual focus themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20915" LastActivityDate="2016-02-18T23:20:55.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24063" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-19T01:07:03.887" Score="5" ViewCount="3466" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7yr old son Josh is out of control. I can't leave him alone with his brother, I cant go shopping with him, I cant drive with him in the car, he wont sleep, he cant go to school and I cant cope. Josh is always causing trouble in school he's had 3 warnings and has now been asked to leave. At school he swears at everyone he fights, he spits, within the last 2 years at school he has broken a girls arm by pushing her off the climbing frame, and a boys leg by hitting him with a hockey stick, last month Josh put a pillow over a little boys head until he was left gasping for air so was asked to leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I go shopping with Josh he will knock everything off the shelves and swear at me from across the isles. In town he won't move and will lay on the floor and cry, if I don't give in to him he will take off his pants and pee in the middle off the streets. In the car he won't wear a seatbelt and will constantly undo his 4 year old brothers. I have tried naughty step,chair,room ignoring him and rewards nothing works. How do I stop his behaviour?, his worst habit is he will pee everywhere, in the car, in the bed, in the shops, at school its disgraceful. I was in john lewis buying clothes for a party and Josh wanted to leave I wouldn't let him so he took off his pants, went to the middle of the floor naked just with a top on and aimed his pee everywhere, I got kicked out the shop, then he wouldn't put his clothes on so i had to carry him out naked. I can't do this anymore I cant cope.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20918" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T14:15:00.517" Title="My 7 year old Son is out of control and has been expelled from school" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2016-02-21T08:09:09.967" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24065" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23533" CreationDate="2016-02-19T08:20:53.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're all being spied on quite a lot of the time. Nearly everywhere you go in shopping malls, office buildings etc. there will be security cameras monitoring you. I don't think this is really a big deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, once your child is 4 or 5 they should be able to expect some privacy in their own room. I certainly wouldn't stress about it at this stage though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other thing to be mindful of. It would be best not to use the monitor as a substitute to personal interaction. Unless your house is really massive, it shouldn't be too hard to pop in to talk to him directly rather than just checking in over the baby monitor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-02-19T13:57:18.717" LastActivityDate="2016-02-19T13:57:18.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20867" CreationDate="2016-02-19T14:05:00.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you can get your daughter to wear a nice wide brim hat and baby sunglasses, that would be preferable to using too much sunscreen. Obviously use it if you really need to, but often for regular outdoor activities a hat is enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're going to be out in the sun for a long time, like at the beach etc. use a good sun shade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best type of sunscreen to use, is a nice shady tree ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-19T14:05:00.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23891" CreationDate="2016-02-19T14:30:47.543" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have five year old twins. I find that positive reinforcement when they are acting appropriately helps fend off some of these issues. For instance, when they use please after asking for a glass of milk I say &quot;thank you for asking so nicely.&quot; Or, when my son puts his clothes away unprompted I pull him aside and say that I really appreciate that he helps keep our house clean. I feel that these actions help them feel seen and heard for good behaviors.If one acts up I say &quot;John, you are a good boy and good boys don't scream when they need attention, they wait patiently by their parents side when their parents are on the phone.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20009" LastActivityDate="2016-02-19T14:30:47.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24040" CreationDate="2016-02-19T15:41:43.913" Score="8" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Compliment her. This is a great achievement for a 6 year old and you should be proud. Let her know.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find out her source of knowledge. It's probably a good source, but you want to make sure that what you are telling her and what else she hears is consistent and not confusing and scary.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell her the truth in concepts that she is familiar with. &quot;Even adults sometimes say things just to get attention but that they don't really mean.&quot; &quot;Donald Trump has said very strange things to get people to pay attention to him; I don't think most of these will happen, even if he is elected president.&quot; &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you are friendly with the family you can ask them how they feel about this and how they communicate to their own children. The same approach may work for your daughter as well so she and her friend hear the same things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You probably have your own opinions about Trump, so make sure that whatever you are saying is consistent with what you think.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastEditorUserId="984" LastEditDate="2016-02-20T03:01:45.740" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T03:01:45.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24040" CreationDate="2016-02-19T23:52:44.950" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children often have more awareness of the world than we give them credit for and it's important for us, as adults, to remember that the world can look very different from a child's perspective. Things that would seem illogical and wholly unrealistic to us, might seem inevitable to them. So you should try to spend some time to figure out exactly what she is frightened of and what it means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By way of an example my daughter suddenly started acting out, last summer, out of the blue, in ways that were very uncharacteristic of her. When we finally got to the bottom of it it turned she was convinced she was going to jail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A month or so previously she had witnessed someone  getting arrested while she was out with her preschool and her teacher had explained this was because he had made &quot;bad choices&quot;. Now my daughter is very aware she is small and still learning about things and therefore also sometimes made bad choices and isn't always totally in control of herself when this happened. Therefore, to her this meant that going to jail was a certainty and there was nothing she could do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took quite a bit to persuade her, and we had to try different approaches to finally convince her they don't send preschoolers to jail. Part of that process was not just understanding how she felt but also taking it with the same seriousness as she did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be that when you daughter hears deportation she thinks it will happen straight away and if the president says so it will happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As adults we are aware there would be many things that would happen, even in the case of a travel ban -- legal challenges, diplomatic reactions, popular protest, lobbying from companies that rely on people  traveling back and forth etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A challenge will be to explain this without adding to her fears.  In your situation I think I would take of explaining that &lt;strong&gt;because&lt;/strong&gt; bad things like this might happen there are things in place that can help stop it, even if the President wants to do it .Just like as parents we have a lot of control over their lives there are things in place to stop us doing bad things to them even if we wanted to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your friend has my sympathy. My daughter is four and this is a little beyond her though she certainly knows who the president is and has initiated several conversations to try and get a grasp on what he, and the government does. Its still a worry for me, though, as we are a dual national family (I'm am immigrant to the US  from the UK), so I hate to think of what she might start thinking if she started picking up on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3270" LastActivityDate="2016-02-19T23:52:44.950" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24071" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23292" CreationDate="2016-02-20T00:18:32.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, this is always very tough for parents and family, but very common and normal. Children change their sleeping habits a lot in the first 1,5 or even 2 years. And after that (napping, no napping etc.) Crying is as usual the expression of I am not okay.&#xA;A bit more information would be good however for a more specific reply. How was it before? What is the state of the child when waking up? How does she fall asleep? And where?&#xA;I will take the assumption that not everything is the same for the child when it falls asleep as when it wakes during the night. E. g. someone was with her when she fell asleep and is gone when she wakes up. Or the child fell asleep in another room and is then put in her bed.&#xA;All these things are disturbing when the usual waking up or light sleep phases arrive. (Adults have those as well).&#xA;When the childs senses find something that is not as when she or he fell asleep an &quot;alarm&quot; might go off. (Imagine you fall asleep in your bed and during the night you wake up on the kitchen floor, you'd be fully awake within seconds).&#xA;It is best when kids learn to fall asleep in their beds, so during the night they can fall asleep on their own as well.&#xA;For a method to train this see here:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: &#xA;This book helped me a lot:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3399317-5-days-to-a-perfect-night-s-sleep-for-your-child&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3399317-5-days-to-a-perfect-night-s-sleep-for-your-child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important according to me is a good night time routine:&#xA;Get calmer till the end of the day, do the same things in the same order. The child will naturally understand / know that it's about sleeping time, because it will go to bed after all that. The falling asleep on their own can be tough.&#xA;However most important again: consistancy. The situation when the child wakes during the night should be very close or the same as when falling asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best and good luck to the patents and further family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW: This can also be due to pain from teething. But usually this is already uncomfortable for kids when they try to fall asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20926" LastEditorUserId="20926" LastEditDate="2016-02-20T14:34:57.490" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T14:34:57.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20867" CreationDate="2016-02-20T09:33:30.660" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best sunscreen is one that doesn't trigger her allergies.  There's no &quot;one size fits all&quot; here -- for example, I'm allergic to a common ingredient (I don't know which one) in most &quot;hypoallergenic&quot; sunscreens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should do is test sunscreens as you get them: spread a small amount on the inside of her wrist (one of the places where the skin is the thinnest and most sensitive) and check periodically for a rash.  If none develops, you know that bottle of sunscreen is okay to use.  You'll need to test each bottle, because manufacturers are free to change inactive ingredients without notice, and it's not always the active ones that trigger allergies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6912" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T09:33:30.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24063" CreationDate="2016-02-20T14:15:00.517" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child needs professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's caused severe injury to two other children and nearly murdered a third.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your pediatrician immediately and get a referral for a psychiatric evaluation before he causes more harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4696" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T14:15:00.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="756" CreationDate="2016-02-20T21:26:33.710" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The infant car seat is a much safer option for newborns than the convertible car seat and can typically support a newborn as small as 4 pounds, whereas the convertible starts at 5.  This could make a difference for newborns with low birth weight/preemies.  You shouldn't place the infant car seat in anything for which it wasn't intended, though, such as a shopping cart.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple years ago I was in a parking lot and a woman parked near me had her infant in the car seat sitting in the front portion of the shopping cart.  As she was loading the cart with items from her car trunk, the cart tipped completely over and the infant landed upside down on the ground, still strapped to the cart.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The infant was wailing, and I watched, horrified as the woman picked the baby up, looked at him for a few seconds, and then went into the store to shop.  I assume the baby ended up being okay, but it's not worth the risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20933" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T21:26:33.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24076" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="756" CreationDate="2016-02-20T23:25:42.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You do need to think of practicality as well. We opted for a high end convertible seat so we could use it for much longer. From the reviews and safety ratings we were satisfied it was just as good as the infant seat. The infant capsules only last until around 6 months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's of much greater importance to be aware of your driving, and always drive cautiously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's much much better to do everything you can to avoid getting into an accident in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-20T23:25:42.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24078" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24080" CreationDate="2016-02-21T05:13:42.943" Score="5" ViewCount="3270" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are having our first child and our considering cloth diapers. We live in an apartment complex with 10-15 units and all share the same two washing machines and two drying machines. We are wondering if washing cloth diapers in these machines could have a negative impact on the other tenants' (and our) clothes. I have not read this anywhere so I am guessing that it will not, but I wanted to get an explicit answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20747" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T02:05:04.650" Title="Is it wrong to wash cloth diapers in a shared washing machine?" Tags="|diaper|clothes|cloth-diaper|stools|urine|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24079" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-21T08:32:37.050" Score="1" ViewCount="91" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to hold my son's hands when he was 2-3months for helping him sleep longer at night, but I never knew it will give him a habit to MUST sleep with my hands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't mind to hold his hands to make him sleep at all. The thing is he still wake up 3-4 or 4-5 times at night and he needs to cuddle my hands or arm to back to sleep. I never have one through night sleep ever since he's born. I have to work during the day too. He is so attached to me that I can't even take a shift with my husband because he will cry for me during the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried everything by giving him night light, stuffed toys, or blankets etc. nothing works....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really miss my through-the-night sleep. (T-T). And I really need all of your opinions to help. Thank you! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20939" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T00:21:57.267" Title="3yo need to hold my hands to sleep during the night" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24078" CreationDate="2016-02-21T12:24:42.173" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nappies require a lot of washing and rinsing.  You'll likely be doing a wash every other day.  This increased time might be seen as problematic by other residents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I suspect your question is about poo: you don't put much poo into the machine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many cloth nappies use a biodegradable disposable liner which collects most poo, leaving the nappy much easier to clean.  You'd probably be sluicing the nappies before washing them - some people recommend using the shower hose to remove solids. Or maybe you'd be soaking them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'd wash the nappy with a cold pre-wash, followed by a hot (at least 60 celsius) wash, followed by a good rinse.  You'd use about half the normal amount of detergent, and make sure it wasn't a &quot;biological&quot; detergent. (the heat would kill most of the enzymes anyway, so there's no point in a biological detergent).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child is breast fed their poo will be water soluble and will wash away in the machine.  If they're on solids or formula you may find their poo isn't water soluble. (Another reason for the hot wash and good rinse).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you're likely to find that some people perceive a problem.  They're likely to say it's unhygenic, or uses the machines too often.  And most new parents report feeling a bit overwhelmed by the washing.  So, if you're determined to use cloth nappies you might want to investigate a nappy washing service.  These washing services tend to use less water and energy than home washing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1052701/how-to-wash-cloth-nappies&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1052701/how-to-wash-cloth-nappies&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.thenappylady.co.uk/news/washing-drying-nappies.html&quot;&gt;http://www.thenappylady.co.uk/news/washing-drying-nappies.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.plushpants.co.uk/washing-cloth-nappies/&quot;&gt;http://www.plushpants.co.uk/washing-cloth-nappies/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do you deal with the poo?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Flush it!  At each change, you flush any solid waste down the toilet.&#xA;  If you are using a flushable liner*, then simply flush poo, liner and&#xA;  all. If any waste has clung to the nappy - or you are using a washable&#xA;  liner - you may have to sluice this, too – it's not as difficult or&#xA;  distasteful as it sounds! You simply grip firmly onto a corner of the&#xA;  nappy or liner and rinse it in the toilet as it's flushing.&#xA;  Incidentally, if your flushable liner is merely wet, you can wash it&#xA;  in the machine with your nappies – I find they last fine for three or&#xA;  four washes before developing holes. If your water pressure is&#xA;  insufficient, and the toilet sluicing trick doesn't work, then rig up&#xA;  a shower spray (either use your shower, or use a rubber spray&#xA;  attachment over your bath taps), and use this to shower poo off the&#xA;  nappy into a dedicated bucket. This is very easy and effective. You&#xA;  then simply put your rinsed nappy into your storage bucket, and flush&#xA;  away the contents of the sluicing bucket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: No, there's no problem washing nappies in a communal washing machine.  But other people may think there's a problem - and so that becomes the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastEditorDisplayName="user19912" LastEditDate="2016-02-21T12:35:18.133" LastActivityDate="2016-02-21T12:35:18.133" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24081" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24095" CreationDate="2016-02-21T12:38:16.313" Score="2" ViewCount="1548" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 12 years old and is obsessed with social media apps and chatting with friends online, whether on her phone or computer. She is currently banned from using Instagram and snapchat, due to a serious bullying incident that we though would be safe to stay away from. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first she agreed, but I'm always finding her trying to re-open a new account or she will constantly whine about having these apps back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also try to show how we can trust her keeping her phone and computer in her room, but then later find she will sneak them on until late hours of the night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started a new routine where we take away all devises an hour before bed and get her to read a book before bed. We have yet to be successful and instead both my husband and I get really angry and begin to yell. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried to talk to her and ask her to decide what appropriate punishment and still she does not follow it. I don't what to do at this stage or whether to go seek professional help. Our house is like a war zone at the moment and her school work is suffering. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20942" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-02-21T18:58:05.490" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T17:55:15.137" Title="12yr old daughter defying consequence and out of control" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24082" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18268" CreationDate="2016-02-21T12:50:47.860" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;i would have to say that something may be bothering hime, or simply hormones. Like my 12year old who i constantly defying, is in that stage of wanting to be alone all the time in her room and does not have any interst in going out. There are a great range of books relating to pre-teens and behaviour from BOOKTOPIA and can be beneficial for getting some great insight to a teens world of thinig and behaving. Hang on in there and be positive. Always let hime know you love him and you are always there for him. If it continues and keeps getting worse, then i would look at seeking professional help. We are going through this now and we are just starting to notice when the our daughter's behaviour is erratic and weve been able to see that our living arrangements and other issues that my husband and i have been dealing with is part of the reason why our daughter is behaving the way she is. Try to see whats going on around him first, your living arrangements and any crisis around the home, may be contributing to his frustration or behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20942" LastActivityDate="2016-02-21T12:50:47.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24078" CreationDate="2016-02-21T17:57:16.047" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would be most concerned about the added duration or use that your neighbors may not appreciate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For my routine I have to pre-wash which takes about 1:10 in my machine, followed by a heavy wash with extra rinse which takes another 1:25 in the same machine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the wash, I also end up drying for two cycles or about 1:15 total dry as the brand I use can melt under higher heat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In total, it can be upwards of 2:35 in the wash and 1:15 in the dry(&lt;em&gt;if&lt;/em&gt; I hear the end of cycle alarms!) which could end up delaying the next user quite a bit of time if they want to use either. Keep in mind most brands recommend a daily wash routine as well!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1928" LastEditorUserId="1928" LastEditDate="2016-02-21T19:11:36.880" LastActivityDate="2016-02-21T19:11:36.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24085" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-21T19:09:57.230" Score="3" ViewCount="1398" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5 year old received a gift of a game that helps learning sight words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our (the parent's) first language is not English, and I have never heard this term before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sight_word&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt; states that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sight words, often also called high frequency sight words, are commonly used words that young children are encouraged to memorize as a whole by sight, so that they can automatically recognize these words in print without having to use any strategies to decode.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Wikipedia article lists a couple of reasons to teach children sight words, but it doesn't say if there is any differing opinions, other methods of beginning reading, or any drawbacks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any drawbacks? Is this the de-facto way of teaching reading? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As additional information, we live in the US, and he is attending a Montessori pre-school/elementary and we plan to have him move to public school after kindergarten (he is kindergarten age for next school year).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am actually not sure if ournative language is taught like that or not,  but I had never heard a special term for those words before. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T16:41:16.317" Title="Advantages and disadvantages of learning sight words (English)" Tags="|pre-schooler|reading|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24088" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24079" CreationDate="2016-02-22T00:21:57.267" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very gradually, and very gently, try to reduce the amount of physical contact you're using to comfort your son. By this I mean, if he's cuddling your arm, gradually reduce this to just your hand, then just a finger, and then eventually he'll hopefully be happy to just have your next to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't do it in a way that causes him distress though, as this can be counter productive and make him more clingy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, try not to get into a fight with him over this. This is very very hard, particularly when you're super-tired yourself. However it really does have exactly the opposite effect to what you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T00:21:57.267" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4044" CreationDate="2016-02-22T02:30:35.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing is to make sure there is nothing obstructing the baby's breathing. Use light cotton bedding, and ensure the sheet the baby is sleeping on is tight, and cannot become crumpled up near his/her face, and never use a pillow for young babies. Make sure blankets and sheets covering the baby are not pulled up too high.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We relented early on, and let our babies sleep on their front, as it became very obvious they really did not want to sleep on their backs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not good for anyone if the baby can't sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Severely sleep deprived parents are a big risk for babies. Parents have to have enough sleep to be able to function safely. Driving children to school, carrying babies around in arms etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember when our first was very young, I would sometimes be so utterly exhausted that I when I was walking the halls trying to put her to sleep, I was terrified I would fall asleep while walking and accidentally drop her. Thankfully it never happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There comes a point where virtually nothing can prevent you from falling asleep. I read about an incident where a mother fell asleep while breast feeding her newborn on a plane, in doing so she slouched forward in her seat and accidentally smothered the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-02-25T03:57:24.670" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T03:57:24.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24092" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-22T15:56:59.940" Score="5" ViewCount="2344" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've heard that cloth diapers encourage a child to not soil themselves, as they are less comfortable than disposable diapers, and that this leads to being potty trained quicker. Is this true?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20747" LastActivityDate="2021-02-19T06:07:14.300" Title="Do cloth diapers actually decrease how long a child stays in diapers?" Tags="|potty-training|diaper|cloth-diaper|stools|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24092" CreationDate="2016-02-22T16:29:35.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a mother of three (for 20 years) and daycare provider for over 10 years here is the best way that I can answer this, and any other potty training/diaper question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Potty training has NOTHING to do with diapers, cloth or disposable. Potty training is about your individual child's readiness and consistent parental guidance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've seen so many different styles of potty training that what I have learned is there is only one truly effective way to make potty training non-dramatic and do-able. You wait till THE CHILD IS READY and then COMMIT TO THE PROCESS.  No diapers, no pull-ups, no drama. You stay home for a long weekend and potty train your child when he/she shows the signs of being ready. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to answer your questions more definitely, use which ever type of diapering option works best for you and your family. Not because it might help potty training later...which wont even happen for 2-3 years anyway :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps.&#xA;Have a great day!!&#xA;DTRoman-Daycare Provider   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T16:29:35.353" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24085" CreationDate="2016-02-22T16:41:16.317" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;High-frequency words, also called &quot;sight words (Dolch sight words)&quot;, &quot;snap words&quot;, or other catchy names, are among the words that your child will first learn to recognize while reading because they are common in the language. Your child will likely have learned 20 to 40 of these words by the time they complete kindergarten. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;High-frequency words are often taught explicitly because they are encountered often in the simplest of texts and evade other methods of textual analysis like phonetic breaking (sounding out) and word chunking (splitting words into recognized syllables). So yes, this is a common practice for teaching reading. Even if they are not explicitly taught, children often pick them up if they read daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Playing games to learn them won't hurt, although it's best and easiest to teach them when the words are used in context and have accompanying illustrations. Flash cards are not encouraged because they take the words out of context and usually don't offer visual cues. The worst case scenario is that it is not an effective means of teaching and your child may get bored of it quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have some other answers on this site about how children learn to read. This one &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8001/how-long-do-children-normally-read-without-comprehending/9132#9132&quot;&gt;about the general process for learning to read&lt;/a&gt; would probably be helpful for you. To summarize it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children learn to read by recognizing that text on a page conveys meaning. The symbols are letters, and a group of letters surrounded by spaces is a word.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Children learn to analyze text using a variety of tools. Early readers use pictures, their knowledge of initial letter sounds, and context to figure out what word is printed on the page.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can help a child learn to read by reading with them, pointing at each word as you read it, and helping them to use these strategies to figure words out. Sight words happen often enough that your child will probably memorize them on their own without noticing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T16:41:16.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24081" CreationDate="2016-02-22T16:56:46.740" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I experienced this same issue with my daughter when she was 12/13 years old. This is truly and age of rebellion for any child...male, female, present times and 20 years ago.  So don't feel too bad about that part. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is what we did. We finally pulled everything. No threats, no negotiations.  We had her shut down and cancel all accounts. She gets her phone and that has to be put away on the community charger by 10pm each night. If this does not happen. We enforce pre-set consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Examples: If she doesn't meet the deadline for putting her phone up she gets grounded...and we are all grounded BTW because that's the only way to make grounding work. How long? This is dependent on how she reacts to being grounded. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she complied with this for a period of time we let her choose ONE social media outlet to use. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is now 16 and has lost most of her interest in social media at all. She sleeps better, is much nicer to be around and isn't being pulled into all of that teen drama she used to be wrapped up in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TIPS: YOU ARE THE PARENTS!!! She is a child and these things are PRIVILEGES, not rights. NEVER allow a child to engage you in a fight, yelling or threats.  They know how and when to push your buttons. Don't let her engage you in a back and forth argument about any issue you have made a final decision on. Walk away. It's okay to tell her &quot;this is the end of the conversation&quot; and step away.  Keep your sanity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use of any electronics in her room require and OPEN DOOR. She is only 12. She should not be doing anything on the internet that requires &quot;privacy&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Allow her to participate in setting limits &amp;amp; consequences and keep them simple, to the point and realistic.  This gives her a sense of control and then later it's easier to enforce what she herself agreed to (this is a good life lesson in setting personal boundaries as well). Write it down, post it on her wall and leave it at that. Never threaten or remind her.  Simply implement as soon as there is a violation. NO NEGOTISTIONS!!! The worst thing you can do is make her feel harassed or wear her down with empty threats and back and forth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reward her and complement her when she responds well and follows through with consequences. Tell her when she handles things well emotionally. Point out the good things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One key thing I've learned is that it's all in the TIMING...if she violates an agreed upon rule don't throw it out there right away.  Wait for a calm, private time and place to deal with it. Sometimes my daughter simply finds her phone missing and now knows exactly why.  She doesn't even ask, because she knows what she's done. They know what they're doing when they push you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally: BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE. This takes time. The biggest issue I see is when parents give up too soon. It took almost 2 months to see a true change in her but it was worth every minute.  She turned back into that nice, lovable girl we love so much.  There are still issues, but they're much more manageable and we are all happier. CHILDREN FIND SECURITY IN CONSISTENCY...we all do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps a bit...because this is a life time battle.  It doesn't end at 18, it just changes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good LUCK!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastEditorDisplayName="user16557" LastEditDate="2016-02-22T17:55:15.137" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T17:55:15.137" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24019" CreationDate="2016-02-22T17:10:04.140" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am also a daycare provider and had a similar issue. An 18 month old child who shoves her mouth full, chews a bit, shoves more in, then uses milk/water to swallow it down. Here is what I learned...it's normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;LOL Honestly. I found out that until 2 years of age children have different oral sensitivities to food. Eventually they grow out of it.  So now I just make sure she doesn't choke and don't stress about it. It's hard to watch sometimes because as adults we can't get why they're doing it, but they're new little people and they're just exploring limits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Small Tip: It helped to get her to use a spoon. Slowed her down at least so she couldn't just shovel it in endlessly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps a bit :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T17:10:04.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23755" CreationDate="2016-02-22T19:50:55.960" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Question: Have you spoken to her father about this?  And I think asking how she is 15 minutes after pickup is a great idea. As a daycare provider I see it all the time...transition fits. But as soon as the parents are out of sight, they're usually right off playing like nothing happened. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T19:50:55.960" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23766" CreationDate="2016-02-22T19:54:52.807" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a daycare provider for the last 10 years, specializing in Infant and Toddler care, this is pretty normal. Kids that age love to roll, tumble and try new ways to move around. As long as you are providing a safe environment and there to monitor what's going on, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. This is large motor skill development, have fun!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T19:54:52.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24099" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23438" CreationDate="2016-02-22T19:59:50.943" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like a complicated situation. I'm sorry that one of the parents doesn't want the other children to interact, very sad. However, even if you want them to meet, how much control do you have over it and how much drama will it cause everyone if it is forced? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The greatest lesson I've learned in the world of nuclear families and separation is this: If you can't control it, let it go.  Some day they'll all be older and make their own choices and voices heard. Until then, don't let an issue you can't control cause friction in your own home. You can control that :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T19:59:50.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24100" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-22T20:05:16.767" Score="28" ViewCount="10474" Body="&lt;p&gt;I caught my son smoking pot a few times and it was a daily deal. He had a real nice big room upstairs in our home that was private so I moved him downstairs closer to my bedroom. I have been monitoring his social media, phone calls and texts and have found several people texting him about weed so I basically cut off his communication with them by telling these kids doing drugs to stay away from my son and that I am fully aware of what they do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have had several, what I would call, productive conversations with him regarding the consequences he is suffering now due to his choice to get high and drink. Then I start to hear about how I am ruining his social life and am referred to as &quot;The Crazy Dad&quot;. He has told all of his classmates about his current situation and tells me that they all think that I am crazy and super strict. I have also found is very derogatory as he refers to me as a religious nut, bible thumper, over the top freak to all of his friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have spoken to several other parents, friends and even a couple of professionals. They just keep telling me to &quot;stick to my guns&quot; and &quot;you are doing the right thing&quot; etc. I have to admit though...I am sort of running a little thin these days. I feel like that I have given up my life to raise this inconsiderate little !*&amp;amp;^%$ and am ready to toss him into military school to finish out his high school education. My ex wife tried to take him but asked me to come get him after only 6 months. He is a very smart, funny, athletic kid but is rebelling hard. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I in over my head here or do I need to just keep the pedal to the metal, so to speak? HELP!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20955" LastEditorUserId="1969" LastEditDate="2016-02-22T20:44:02.957" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T18:38:36.823" Title="I seem to have good talks with my 16 yr old son about his life but then he is texting his friend trashing me?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23701" CreationDate="2016-02-22T20:16:34.383" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could he be cutting teeth? I've known children this age to lose their appetite, change sleep patterns or even regress a bit when cutting teeth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with the suggestion for solids :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if he starts showing signs of dehydration or weight loss, I'd make a doctor's appointment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-09T17:37:43.257" LastActivityDate="2018-09-09T17:37:43.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24102" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23561" CreationDate="2016-02-22T20:26:05.000" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well this is a poopy situation no matter how you cut it...so sorry. And I'm guessing the answers you're going to get aren't going to be all that encouraging either...again, sorry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had an over bearing in-law and didn't even live with them...and it still sucked.  I felt like they wanted MY baby every time I was around them. It was hurtful and made me feel inadequate as a young mother. And just an FYI, it probably won't change once you move out either, it'll just get easier to avoid/ignore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here is what I did: I learned to ignore it.  It was a great lesson in patience and forgiving. I mean, honestly, what else can you do? The only control you have over this situation right now is how YOU CHOOSE TO REACT/RESPOND.  By this I mean, don't let it cause tension between you and your partner, don't let it stress out the children and don't let it get into your head.  It's temporary. Breathe, Breathe, Breathe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T20:26:05.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-02-22T20:38:02.263" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;While your son is still basically following your rules, I think you're on the right track, and should stick to your guns. Try not to worry about whether he trash talks you to his loser friends. Their opinions don't matter. Ultimately though, he has to come to the conclusion himself, that the choices he's making aren't doing him any favours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's particularly sad about being a pot-head, is that although he may do it now to be social. The ability to be social is exactly what he will lose if it becomes too habitual. Heavy marijuana users often become reclusive, paranoid and completely anti-social.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes it can lead to other heavier drugs, but even if it doesn't, all on it's own it can totally mess you up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son needs a wake up call, and he needs to get out of the bad daily routine he's apparently developed, and get far away from the loser friends who help enable his behaviour. I'm not sure military school would be the answer, but what about a holiday (kind of)? Just the two of you. Somewhere to help show him there is more to the world, and more to life than hanging out with small minded pot-heads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could take him to India, or Bangladesh, to do some volunteering with a mission. Guaranteed this would absolutely blow his mind, and give him a massively different perception of reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment he's living an utterly self-centred life. Doing exactly what he pleases, with no thought to the future, and no consideration for anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Showing him how others are forced to live, may give him a bit more appreciation for all the opportunities he has in his own life, opportunities he's so busily squandering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-02-23T12:18:16.280" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T12:18:16.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-02-22T20:56:37.453" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ahhhh...TEENS!!! The true test of parenting. Don't you wish he were a &quot;terrible two&quot; again or a &quot;terrifying Three&quot;.  My boys are now 20 &amp;amp; 18.  My daughter just turned 16 and here is what I have learned and a great quote from my own mother...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;If they like you all the time, then you're doing your job wrong.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the first thing you need to do. STOP. Take a step back, breathe and get your bearings. You do no one any good if you fall apart. Do you remember being 16? This is his journey and you can set rules, guidelines and enforce them but I'm going to tell you this, when he isn't in your home, you have zero control. He's going to fall on his face, make mistakes and make a mess. You are now reaching the parenting point where you can only pray a lot and be there when he falls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all have this idea that our child will be different, our child will be so loved and provided for that they won't make mistakes, they won't be &quot;that kid&quot;, they wont cave in to peer pressure...but the fact is that's not how it works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its time for you to transition from the parent that is still teaching all the time to the parent that starts to trust what he has already taught. Have faith. Don't put yourself in a position where you are pushing him away because one day he'll be in a situation at 3am and you want to be the one he can call, not the one he avoids. It's a hard balance. Research it, talk to other parents, get different ideas.  But what ever you do, don't turn every encounter into a lecture and don't think that just because he had a &quot;heart to heart&quot; with you one day, doesn't mean he's not right back to mischief the next moment. He's 16...the frontal lobe of his brain (which controls impulse and reasoning) hasn't fully developed yet...and won't till he is 28!!! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So hang in there and never, ever give up. Some day he'll be 30 and thank you!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T20:56:37.453" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23819" CreationDate="2016-02-22T21:27:16.767" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, I've had this one. I had a little boy, about the same age, in my daycare that was a big teeth grinder. It was very random. He would do it for a few days then nothing. Here is what I would suggest. Ignore it. Eventually he stopped doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These aren't permanent teeth. They will fall out at some point and unless it becomes some sort of stress thing or her dentist says anything about it, there isn't much you can do to stop it. Your daughter is testing a new sensory ability. Like biting...it's new, it's different, she's exploring it. And best of all, it's normal (for now). Annoying, yes, but normal none the less.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would definitely stop trying physical punishment as a way to prevent it. She isn't at an age where she understands what she is doing or the consequence you're implementing. You're either going to just freak her out or make it worse which won't help anyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember to breath and step away if you find yourself getting overly agitated about it. This won't be the last thing she does that drives you crazy lol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T21:27:16.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24106" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-02-22T21:54:36.890" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly,  &quot;stick to your guns&quot;, &quot;you are doing the right thing&quot; etc, etc, you know the drill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, he is going to dislike and disrespect your boundaries. That is what being a teenager is. If he's still &lt;em&gt;obeying&lt;/em&gt; them or at least trying to (i.e. there's a difference between &quot;slipping&quot; and &quot;not caring&quot;), that is what being a good teenager is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drink and drugs are two of the biggest peer pressures. Your primary task as a parent is to make sure he doesn't permanently ruin his life or health, your secondary task is to make sure he can do the same for himself when you're not monitoring him, and your tertiary is not to throw your relationship under a bus fulfilling the first two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, the only way you'll get the third is to target the first two; an addict makes a very difficult person to have a solid relationship with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parental considerations about drinking and drugs vary. Some parents are okay with any amount of drinking but panic over anything illegal, regardless of health concerns. Others are okay with casual weed usage but would go ballistic if their child was brought home for being drunk and disorderly. The important thing is that you decide what your line is, you only change it in the case where &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; decide it's not doing the job, and you treat it as a fundamental principle that you can enforce, explain, and &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-Elr5K2Vuo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;live up to yourself&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of his classmates; if you are embarrassed to be known as the &quot;crazy dad who doesn't want his kid getting high&quot;, consider that if you remove the word &quot;crazy&quot;, &lt;em&gt;that is not a thing to be embarrassed about&lt;/em&gt;. Own it. &lt;strong&gt;You're not cool, you're a good dad&lt;/strong&gt;. Another way to look at it is, &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/24100/i-seem-to-have-good-talks-with-my-16-yr-old-son-about-his-life-but-then-he-is-te#comment48713_24100&quot;&gt;as Kit states&lt;/a&gt;, that he's using you as his excuse not to do this stuff, without losing status. &quot;I totally can't drink that bleach, my stupid dad wouldn't like it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you can do to maintain the relationship is find something he does or might enjoy that's not drugs, and find a way for you to do that together. A weekly run, or monthly fishing trip, or something as basic as Movie Night or a shared Video or Board Game. He may mock it, he may pretend that he hates it, but at the end of the day, you're aiming to have a decent time with him where you're being a dad without having to be &quot;that parent&quot; for half an hour a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding military school; I know Americans have a different attitude to this, but &lt;a href=&quot;http://sjms.org/why-you-shouldnt-send-your-son-to-military-school/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;military school is not a rehabilitation program&lt;/a&gt;. You'd basically be giving up any control, giving his care and socialising over to people who &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/substance-abuse-in-military&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;may not share your priorities&lt;/a&gt; and potentially throwing your relationship with him under a tank. It may be the right call, but I would consider your son, and how you think he would react to this before pulling that trigger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T21:54:36.890" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24107" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24110" CreationDate="2016-02-22T22:16:45.817" Score="111" ViewCount="21191" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live with my dad and my grandmother.  I don't live with my mother because several times she was caught doing drugs around my step sister.  They split up when I was 6 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My dad and I don't really see each other often, even though we live in the same house.  He's working at nights and sleeps during the day, which is the complete opposite of what I do, being 16.  The other night my dad bought me GTA5 hoping that we would play together.  I immediately knew this wouldn't end well.  I started playing with him and realized that it just wasn't fun to play with him.  I quit right after doing a couple of missions prematurely.  My dad came into my room and asked me why I quit, so I told him the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over a couple of years, I don't feel very comfortable playing with my dad, or even doing bonding things with him.  I often stay home on my computer while he does the stuff that he wants me to do with him.  But I don't feel obligated to do any bonding with him.  It feels weird and unnatural to me.  I didn't have this problem when I was 8 or 9 but now it's so strong that I don't even like being around him in person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him that I didn't like doing anything with him anymore and he's turned to the worst.  He comes home very mad every day and starts yelling at me and my grandmother.  I'm starting to get worried because this only normally happens when I've done some terrible stuff or he has tons of anxiety because of his ex-girlfriend and his daughter. This is apparently affecting my dad so much that he's thinking about quitting work, and he's the only source of income.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any way I can comfort him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;  Thanks everyone!  I talked with my dad about the situation he's going through and I apologized about it.  I told him I loved him, but at the same time I also told him that I don't really like what we do and that we should change it up.  He agreed with the decision, infact, we're going to the movies next week! Thanks! :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20957" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-02T12:01:15.267" LastActivityDate="2019-07-02T12:01:15.267" Title="How to comfort my dad after telling him that I don't like to do anything with him?" Tags="|teen|communication|single-parent|father|bonding|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24108" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24107" CreationDate="2016-02-22T22:39:43.730" Score="41" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;UPDATE: This is apparently affecting my dad so much that he's thinking about quitting work, and he's the only source of income. I need some step-by-step instructions on how to do this before it's too late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no step-by-step way to make someone feel better whom you've hurt. But here's some basic steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Understand why what you said was unfair&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Apologise for it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Explain why you're worried by his behaviour&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell him you love him&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of these, number 1 is the hardest, but probably the most important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But I don't feel obligated to do any bonding with him. It feels weird and unnatural to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is entirely normal, you're family, not friends. It also sucks for him. You're his child, he sounds insecure about his relationships, and he's struggling. If you are genuinely concerned, &lt;em&gt;make a goddamn effort&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, GTA V is a wholly inappropriate game to play with your dad (not least because it's single player); but seeing the latest Star Wars (or the original) isn't, or something like HellDivers, Gauntlet or New Super Mario Bros (nothing says, &quot;I love you Dad&quot;, like accidentally killing him for the &lt;strike&gt;4th&lt;/strike&gt; 40th time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could even try something like XCom, so you can customise the characters together; or you can leave a mission for him to do while he's up, with a note on how badly you f'd up the last mission, everyone's dead, so good luck with that, dad. Or just shuffle the world around so you can be in the same room for a bit, doing your different things. If your schedule's really aren't that compatible, you're not actually giving up that much time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't want to do any of these things (and it sounds like you might have crossed a line where &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; doesn't), that's fine. You could even do something as simple as a card just to let him know you care; that's the kind of thing a dad quietly holds on to during the tough times. Consider something along the lines of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sorry I'm being a teenager. Still your son/daughter/miscellaneous. Love you Dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But making time for people who are a bit tiresome becomes more important the older you get, as your life moves you apart from people you used to be close to. Finding a way to do that that you can maintain is &lt;em&gt;important&lt;/em&gt;, especially with family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2016-02-24T08:56:13.047" LastActivityDate="2016-02-24T08:56:13.047" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-02-22T22:52:59.087" Score="13" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't kid yourself that because you had a productive conversation, he agrees with your rules. He's 16 and &quot;very smart and funny&quot;, so he knows how to hold a conversation. He is aware of your reasons and can talk to you about them, but they're still your reasons and not his.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your son will chafe under your rules, again because they're your rules and not his. Given the option he'd behave differently from what you want. You can't raise him to agree with you about everything.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You have to decide for yourself whether insults like &quot;religious nut&quot;, &quot;bible thumper&quot;, &quot;freak&quot;, are worth another round of discipline, or whether you can stand for him to blow off steam to his friends like that. Obviously it's very disrespectful to you personally, but it's not putting him in any risk like taking drugs is. You could choose to leave it and take the bigger win that he's not (regularly) taking drugs any more. Or you could make a stand that this isn't an acceptable way to behave and you need him to apologise and stop it. You could see it as an opportunity to teach him that if you're going to call someone names behind their back, you want to take precautions that they won't hear about it! Anyway, him bad-mouthing you to his friends does &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; mean you're in over your head, so try not to worry about that. It means your son can be a mouthy so-and-so when he chooses, and that's all.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Falling over into traffic on a snacks run would be a &quot;consequence&quot; of being high and drunk. You monitoring his phone and vetoing his friendships aren't just things that happened to him because of what he did, they are things that you chose to do in response to his choices. And so &lt;em&gt;of course&lt;/em&gt; he blames you for the ones he doesn't agree with: you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; responsible. Which is fine, you're supposed to be, that's what parenting is.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You've already decided it's better for him to blame you for being too strict, than it is for him to take drugs. That's the decision you've made, and since he's 16 you have the right to make it. So stick with that and accept the &quot;consequences&quot; of your decision ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Most adults can live with the fact that their parents did things they don't agree with, even if they &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; come to agree with them. Chances are good you'll both get over this, even if right now you feel close to breaking. And you can both look on the bright side, in only 2 years he can be out of the house and then &lt;em&gt;he'll&lt;/em&gt; be responsible for this stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7847" LastEditorUserId="7847" LastEditDate="2016-02-23T00:01:21.570" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T00:01:21.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24107" CreationDate="2016-02-22T23:34:43.520" Score="69" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's so hard for parents when their children start to pull away. We may be parents, but we are also human beings. It hurts, even when we try not to show it. We question ourselves and if we are doing things &quot;right&quot;.  I remember when my oldest boy (he is now 20) stopped wanting to go to the movies with me. I was very upset; it was &quot;our thing&quot;. It was an interest we both shared and I cherished that time together. I took it personally. Why didn't he want to hang out with me anymore? Did he stop liking me? What did I do wrong?  But then someone pointed out something I had never thought about before...Wouldn't I be more concerned if I were the only one he wanted to hang out with...now that would be weird for a 16-year-old boy to only want to hang out with his mother...awkward! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to talk to him, create a situation. Like...at the dinner table or go for a walk together. Start by asking a question, like &quot;hey dad, can we try doing something new together?&quot; or &quot;Dad why are you so stressed out, I'm worried?&quot; Might be a good one right now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's so hard for parents to talk to their children once they're no longer children.  You're not a child. You're now a young adult and it's going to be hard for both you and your dad to make that crucial switch over. You're not his little boy anymore and he's not your daddy. You're a young man and he's your Father. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It kind of just sounds like you're stuck in the same routine and need a little switch up. Now when I see my son, it's dinner with his girlfriend and more adult conversation. We're friends. I'm not his mommy anymore :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I truly hope this helps. Just remember to be kind to your father. We are just people trying to do the best we can...we don't really know what we're doing, we're just trying our best and sometimes it helps to get a little feedback from those we love so much. In the end, we ALL want the same thing. Happiness. We want our children to be happy and we want to be happy for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastEditorUserId="17653" LastEditDate="2016-02-25T09:01:41.590" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T09:01:41.590" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-02-22T23:37:30.740" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it your goal to have the approval of your son or for you to do the right thing? As a teen the two may be hard to align.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right thing is probably as easy as what others are saying - stick to what you believe and express your concerns. Be the villain if you can. It's your job to love your son the way it seems to be every teenager's job to rebel against their parents, or generally behave this way. Not necessarily rebelling but getting mixed up with the things most kids get mixed up in. Drinking and weed may not be seen in the highest regards but it could be worse. He could be in a gang, thuggin, bustin caps and robbin everyone he sees. Conversely, pretty much everyone I know smoked the mad chronic and drank themselves stupid and so few of them genuinely trashed their lives through it. Not saying it should just be tolerated, but I am suggesting the reaction should be justified and weighted against the possible outcomes. Military school for example... no sir. I have a hard time imagining anyone coming out of that without a grudge against the accusations. In other words, it will likely put distance between you two and he will probably resent you when he gets out, and also return to the routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know everyone wants to support the obvious suggestion to seek professional help. I don't really believe that helps anything from a psychology perspective and I may be trashed for saying so. My suggestion comes from personal history, not with weed or liquor but with unreasonable reactions to what seemed to me to be non-issues or just me being me. I wouldn't get extreme. I wouldn't yell or preach about it. I would do my best to be aware of just what he's up to and make sure he is not doing something outrageous like driving while drunk or high. I suggest you do some research on the benefits of marajuana (no, I don't smoke the stuff) and try to get him interested in the medicinal side of things all inclusively. Attacking it will probably just go in one ear and out the other. But identifying the strong medical difference between medical grade products vs illegal pesticide laden trash might at least get him to raise standards and turn down the stuff that might paint his face with cystic acne. Also, using a vaporizer over every single other form of inhaled THC will slap a lot of the harsh negatives straight off the narcotic profile. Technically weed is still illegal in many ways, so obviously you shouldn't suggest he keep it up or acquire it for him or anything. But understanding that kids will likely do what they will do may be the bridge he needs to see that it may not be doing what he wants it to do, and he may give it up sooner. Same speech for liquor. &quot;In moderation&quot; is used a lot when trying to identify the harm liquor does. Some, like whisky, have a much lower sugar and carb level than a lot of the common ones. I don't haver enough data to strike even a reasonable argument for that, but some prefer pot over liquor and medically it looks like pot has some benefits, where liquor seems to have very little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if you're religious or if he's just saying all that. But if you are consider the Amish practice Rumspringa where the kids at 16 can choose to go out into the world and experience the insanity themselves. By knowing what is out there they can see more clearly the intentions of the church and the appeal of that lifestyle. It's the practice I'm trying to emphasize, not necessarily the religious aspect of it. Teenagers are a tough bomb to diffuse. I was, I don't think intervention would have helped. Eventually I just calmed down on my own. Perhaps your son just needs to be allowed to be him. In 5 to 10 years he will know what he doesn't want anymore. Long time, but think about how long it took you to stop thinking like a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I think surveillance is only going to stress you both out. Curious as you may be, it might be better to just not look at social media or phone logs, etc. You already know what he's up to. Focus on his goals and interests and support him in what he wants out of life. He will figure out what means anything to him soon enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T23:37:30.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24112" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-02-22T23:47:39.240" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there is a lot of good information in @Kit's &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/24100/i-seem-to-have-good-talks-with-my-16-yr-old-son-about-his-life-but-then-he-is-te#comment48713_24100&quot;&gt;comment&lt;/a&gt; and @deworde's excellent answer, but I would like to add some other points to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Am I in over my head here or do I need to just keep the pedal to the metal...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe both, it depends on your son's and your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't say how his drug and alcohol use is affecting his day-to-day or his academic life. There's a whole range of severity of drug and alcohol use, from someone smoking pot and occasionally drinking while maintaining good grades and having healthy interests to someone who is failing out of school, breaking the law with wanton disregard, and is not interested in doing much of anything that is not related to drugs and alcohol. Only you can discern, with honest discussion and observation, where he is on this spectrum. The more severe the consequences of his use, the more urgent the response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if there's a history of alcoholism and/or drug addiction in close relatives, I would be more proactive in my response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't disregard the role therapists can play here, for you and for your son. For you, it might help you to define your roles as a parent, how to deal with the frustrations that inevitably come up with teens who have different values than yours, etc. Speaking to a therapist specializing in adolescence and drug/alcohol (ab)use, you can get much needed support, guidance, and advice on how to interact in a healthy/productive and less stressful manner with your son, and also possibly negotiating a contract with your son. And I would, after a lot of discussion, consider making a contract with your son if his use merits it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son might benefit from seeing a therapist - again, with a specialty - to explore the role of peer-acceptance, what he gets from using, what his problems are at home, etc. A divorce and a mom who shipped him back to dad has to have affected him in a manner which might be beneficial to explore. Kids can learn life skills from therapy. Sooner is better than later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About military school, many are incorporating therapy for this kind of problem, but if it reached a point of real desperation (you see your son's life literally falling apart and you can't seem to have any positive effect), I would investigate a good wilderness program and a therapeutic boarding school way before a military boarding school. Consider he may have abandonment issues already, though. A professional to help you with this is really important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot to work on here. I wish you both the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-02-22T23:55:55.097" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20918" CreationDate="2016-02-23T03:12:24.617" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ummmm....I don't believe a 6 month old CAN throw a &quot;temper tantrum&quot;. Children under the age of 12 months of age don't throw &quot;temper tantrums&quot; under the terms usually understood in the toddler world. Do you feel like your 6 month old infant is being defiant? Is that what I'm understanding here? Do you honestly think a 6 month old infant is &quot;getting you back&quot; for anything? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although your children are twins, they are individual human beings. Brand new individual human beings to be more specific and they are not yet capable of defiance or temper tantrums...they are also not capable of regulating emotion, fending for them selves, &quot;self soothing&quot; or verbalizing their needs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, pick him up. Hold him, comfort him. 6 month old babies don't cry for no reason. Maybe it's not a physical reason but he is upset and this is his ONLY way of communicating to you. Is he gassy? Many infants this age have gas issues weather they're on formula or not.  Have you ever had gas pain? You'd cry like that too if that's the case...ouch!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To sum it up, my answer for you is, pick him up. He is not yet at the age where you would be &quot;spoiling him&quot; buy holding him too much...that's old school folk lore. He needs you: you are his sole source of security, safety and care.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps.  Its important to remember that all children are different and there will always be rough days/weeks/months.  Take a break when you feel pressure building and remember to breathe, breathe, breathe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2016-04-23T11:28:45.290" LastActivityDate="2016-04-23T11:28:45.290" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24114" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9186" CreationDate="2016-02-23T05:12:31.677" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I, and my four kids, have all been wetting the bed until at least seven years of age. My answers are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Quit worrying until he is eight or nine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a &lt;strong&gt;REAL&lt;/strong&gt; diaper (not a pull up).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Quit coming back to the same thing in almost every response. What I mean is you always say &quot;a specialised doctor.&quot; That is not the right spelling, and it is called a &lt;strong&gt;urologist&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In reference to all of my previous answers, quit being so stubborn. You worry about a natural phase, you will not try to solve the problem in a practical way, and you only have one reason to reject people's answers.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20960" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T05:12:31.677" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24107" CreationDate="2016-02-23T07:28:04.803" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, stop doing terrible stuff!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have absolutely no idea how tough it is being a parent. He's got to worry about keeping a roof over your head, and food on the table, and then on top of that he has to deal with &quot;terrible&quot; stuff you do. You think that's fair?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want to help him out. Don't bother trying to &quot;comfort&quot; him. Don't bother trying to bond with him. Just don't make his life any harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just do what you need to do, and let him do what he needs to do. Go to school... study... get good grades... don't screw up. That's all he really needs from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T07:28:04.803" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24107" CreationDate="2016-02-23T10:30:23.453" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've done a very good thing by asking for help. There may be tough times ahead, but you are trying hard to do something about it, so whatever happens, remember that you did the best you could.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a biological urge to break away from one's parents, that often occurs around your age. This is partly to allow them to focus their attention and resources on their younger children, and partly to allow young adults to learn independence and go forth into the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like all our urges, we can decide whether to act on them or override them. It will be easier to bond with him if you make the decision to do so, and have clear in your head all the good reasons you are doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, since you are growing up and developing your own identity, you will have to discover new ways of bonding that work for you both. Start by letting him know you want to try again. When something doesn't work, try something else. Take an interest in him. Do (nice) things he doesn't expect. You're old enough to contribute to troubleshooting the relationship. I was in a bookstore the other day and I noticed some books about improving the relationship between parents and teenage/grown-up children. Go and see if your library has something of the sort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, if you decide you won't have much to do with him, make it very clear that it isn't his fault. Like all kids, you're just growing up and wanting independence. This can still be a very hard time for a parent, especially one that regrets not spending more time with the child when they were younger. Help reduce his other stresses if you can, and let him know you care about him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find that something in between is right for you. One way or another, the constant awkwardness needs to be addressed because it's just reinforcing all the bad feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope it goes well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17837" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T10:30:23.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23891" CreationDate="2016-02-23T12:16:56.953" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Having a 4.5yo daughter myself, i recognize the pattern. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with the answer from Becuzz that it is a consistency issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But i think it is not an issue between different people (you and your husband). People will always have different standards and the little ones can adapt to them. What matters are your standards have to be consistent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess your daughter figured out, that when you are around other people (your husband, speaking with your parents etc.) she can get away with misbehaving because you are stressed/distracted/busy/shy etc. and she uses this to her advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you asked your teacher if she behaves the same when she is in school? I bet she is behaving better at school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helped us, we needed to be careful that her actions have consequences and that we interrupt what we were doing to speak with her about her mistakes even if we are stressed and don't feel like discussing with a 5yo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T12:16:56.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24107" CreationDate="2016-02-23T13:18:00.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could be more compassionate to your dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your dad bought you GTA V because he thought that'd be a game you (as a teenager) would like to play. Do you blame your dad for separation from your mom? If she's an addict, your dad must have thought it's best that you don't stay with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's trying very hard to connect with you and you're not responding. It's quite natural that he's frustrated. Imagine if you were sent to jail or caught doing drugs or something serious like that and your dad stopped talking to you. Despite your trying very hard to make amends, he wouldn't respond. How would you feel in that situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be this way that he has to assume the roles of both mom and dad, and he's not very good at playing mom. That's okay, tell him you appreciate that he's trying to fill the gap, and you'll do whatever it takes to work it out, and you need his support. He might not immediately respond, but it's what he wants, so he will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20968" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-02-25T20:17:17.297" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T20:17:17.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24120" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24121" CreationDate="2016-02-23T14:24:37.790" Score="6" ViewCount="4984" Body="&lt;p&gt;Child is 2 years 8 months old. She was very much interested in getting a cycle so we bought a balance bike for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All other kids here have pedal bikes with training wheels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child doesn't seem to be too interested in riding a balance bike since it seems there is too much work from her side to push the cycle with feet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have shown her how to ride, but it doesn't seem to be as easy as shown in the youtube videos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to encourage her or generate interest? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20402" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T22:02:35.547" Title="How to encourage a toddler to take interest in riding a balance bike?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24120" CreationDate="2016-02-23T15:05:39.030" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;My second son had little interest in cycling at all and it took a bit of effort to get him involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Shiny bike&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Make sure the bike is appealing to the child.  Involving her in choosing the bike is a good first step but if the bike has already been bought (or brought by Santa), they can still be decorated with simple charms or stickers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Praise&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;This is the perennial advice, which works for reinforcing any behaviour.  Praise any success and doubly praise any failures which are overcome.  For instance, it's hard to synchronise the use of the pedal, or even to keep your feet -on- the pedals, so initially make a big deal of those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cycle in nice locations&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Whilst cycling up and down the garden path is all well and good, it's not particularly inspiring.  Imagine if you were able to pedal around a local park or (as we did) the local zoo!  It's not only a treat to go there but your daughter is doing so in a novel way.  I'd definitely recommend this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Picture the future&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;My son saw no benefit in cycling.  He could walk to school and Daddy and mummy would drive him to far away places if he had to go there.  So why cycle?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him all the cool things we -could- do, if only he could cycle.  After all, we'd never get our little Mazda up a volcano but we -could- cycle up!  Or we could camp in the woods and cycle across rope bridges!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That sort of thing.  I'm hoping that he forgets about the volcano bit...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T15:05:39.030" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1244" CreationDate="2016-02-23T15:58:02.767" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found a foolproof way to stop my toddler's tantrums. She only tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants. The key here is to hack the &lt;em&gt;what they want&lt;/em&gt; part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make them want something else&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Are you sure you want corn? Wouldn't you rather have milk?&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Mommy's going to work. You can stay with daddy and have ice cream.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;YouTube stopped working because the Internet is down. Why don't we read a book. You can feel the animals in this book.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make them unsure they actually want that thing in the first place&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;That kitty looks scary. You can play with it but daddy is going to hide behind this door.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;You can play with the Legos, but you have to clean up. Otherwise no Lego for you for a month!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Tea is really hot you know. Here's a spoonful; just tap it with your finger if you don't believe me.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After you explain the concept of 'hot' or 'spicy', you can use it to discourage them about everything, from playing outside barefoot at 1 PM to touching grandma's medication. But it's best to be truthful and not abuse your toddler's trust.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Convince them they already have it&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;There's no red pen, but look, the blue pen can still draw as nice.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;You don't need the purple slippers. Your red shoes goes better with your dress.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Why would you even want that Mickey Mouse cup? You have a perfectly good Minion cup at home!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make them forget about it&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;OH MY GOD. THERE IS A FROG IN THE BATHROOM. Let's play with the slimy frog!&quot; (Usually followed by louder crying, and ends tantrum immediately)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Daddy is going to sleep on the floor. You can have the whole bed to yourself. All alone.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stand up and frantically search the room, as if someone hid a bomb or snake somewhere. I did this for absolutely no reason once and it confused the heck out of my daughter. It will also confuse other people in the room, which makes it more effective.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4000" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T15:58:02.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24123" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-23T17:11:47.977" Score="14" ViewCount="3203" Body="&lt;p&gt;To try to keep the story short...&#xA;I got divorced almost 4 yrs ago and I have a 11, 12 &amp;amp; 15 yr old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I had my suspicions, but I guess I wanted to look the other way and not find out whether it was real or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going through the divorce I found out that my 12 yr old (middle child) was not my biological child. That of course broke my heart, but I was more upset about what it was going to do to her when she found out. In a way I decided not to say anything. Every now and then my daughter asks &quot;you do that?&quot; and then says &quot;I must of have gotten that from you&quot;. Recently she had a seizure and when the doctor asked about family history the ex-wife was quick to say no history of seizures. All of that got me thinking if I was doing the right thing, I'm trying to protect my 3 kids from the heart break, she just trying to protect herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are your thoughts? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20976" LastEditorUserId="21411" LastEditDate="2016-03-16T10:04:24.750" LastActivityDate="2016-03-16T10:04:24.750" Title="When is the right time to tell my daughter she's not my biological child?" Tags="|middle-childhood|step-parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24124" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-23T17:22:28.057" Score="5" ViewCount="800" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 18-month-old son and some questions about possible autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a complicated pregnancy: I had premature rupture of membranes and at 36 weeks I went for a check up and needed to have him straight away. He was delivered at 37 weeks weighing 3 pounds 12 ounces, but he didn't need any help (was just on Special Care Baby Unit to keep an eye on him.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I had him, they said he had experienced a lack of oxygen, so he would need regular check ups to check for things such as autism. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is now 18 months and just started walking. He doesn't talk (he says 2-3 words and just screams everything else.)&lt;br&gt; &#xA;Also, he:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;uses hand signals when he wants something (drink/food)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;flaps hands when upset, angry or happy    &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;doesn't make eye contact (if he does it's no longer than 5 seconds)   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;focuses on little things when he plays (car wheels, seats, etc.)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hates other kids and barely wants to play with his older brother   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;is sooo loving and cuddly it's amazing  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;loves TV   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;repeats everything he does (he could be playing with a toy for 3 hours doing the same thing)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;has a set routine for bedtime and nap time and he knows exactly when they are and if he doesn't stick to it he flips  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hates going outside and screams constantly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;hurts himself all the time (he chucks himself off furniture, he bangs his head against doors/walls/everything to the point where his head bleeds)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does quite a few things that worry me. I have a doctor's appointment but I just want some advice on it until I get to the doctors. I know they won't even acknowledge it because he's still young but my baby's hurting himself and nothing I do will stop him.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He has never said mommy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20975" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-09T16:47:13.847" LastActivityDate="2019-01-09T16:47:13.847" Title="I'm worried my son may have autism" Tags="|toddler|autism|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2018-12-27T21:24:03.563" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24123" CreationDate="2016-02-23T18:04:40.457" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the best answer is &quot;as soon as possible&quot;. She has a right to know, and the longer you leave it the bigger the shock and the more upset she will be about the delay. But first you need to talk to your ex about it so that she is prepared for the inevitable questions and accusations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(You don't say how you know, and hence how sure you are. I'll assume that its something 100% like DNA)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also at some point she will be studying genetics, and basic stuff like eye colour can give the game away. You need to sort it out before then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, genetic history matters for some conditions. If her biological father has a history of epilepsy then the doctors may need to know. But I can understand if that would be complicated (e.g. if the biological father is married). Maybe you should have a quiet word with the doctor to find out how important the information is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: one more thing. I can well understand that you feel hurt by these events, and you are probably angry with your ex-wife as a result. But try to help your daughter maintain her relationship with her mother. Your daughter is going to need that relationship in the years to come, as well as her relationship with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2016-02-23T19:37:36.033" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T19:37:36.033" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24124" CreationDate="2016-02-23T18:43:32.953" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child does have some symptoms worrisome for autism, and some that are not, but he certainly should be evaluated for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctors should take this seriously (I'm not sure why you think they won't. They should.) In the US, the American Academy of Pediatrics&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;recommends developmental surveillance [for autism] at every well-child visit and &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/Committees-Councils-Sections/Council-on-Children-with-Disabilities/Pages/Description-and-Policy.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;developmental screening using formal, validated tools at 9, 18, and 30 months &lt;strong&gt;or whenever a parent or provider concern is expressed&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your primary caregiver doesn't believe you, ask for a second opinion. &#xA;In the meantime, you can read about autism so that you can pinpoint the most concerning of his behaviors, and videotape your child playing/displaying concerning behaviors to provide a visual record for them. If you are looking for good websites on autism, I hope you have discovered the CDC page on &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Autism Spectrum Disorder&lt;/a&gt; (it has a wealth of information) and &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/tool-kits/100-day-kit&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Autism Speaks&lt;/a&gt; (more of a help after diagnosis).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/Committees-Councils-Sections/Council-on-Children-with-Disabilities/Pages/Autism.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Autism&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://eden2.org/top-10-autism-websites-recommended-by-parents/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Top 10 Autism Websites Recommended by Parents&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-02-23T19:04:44.673" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T19:04:44.673" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24123" CreationDate="2016-02-23T19:15:23.153" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;She has a right to know, yes, but under the circumstances it should be your ex's job to tell her. You raised her as your own and I assume that you love her just the same. I know I love my biological and non-biological children with equal might. but if you are the one to tell her &quot;I'm not your Dad&quot;, that may be really hard to do without her taking it as a form of rejection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What she needs to know is that you're her dad, you will always be her dad, and that it doesn't matter one bit to you how she came out to be born. And that you will always be there for her no matter what. Period. And if your ex breaks the news, and your talk with her is &quot;I also didn't find out until recently, and frankly it doesn't matter to me and I will always love you no matter what! And I sure hope that you feel the same!&quot; That is what she will need to hear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I'm not going to sugar-coat how hard it will probably be on you should she seek out getting to know the other half of her biological family tree. but you're the one with the history with her. You're the one who stars in all her memories. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may have a different father, but you will always be her Dad if that is what you want. And I hope that you do for both of your sakes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T19:15:23.153" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24107" CreationDate="2016-02-23T20:11:44.767" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;A suggestion that I keep hearing more and more is that communication and interaction are the key to successful relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me and my Dad often don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of issues, and this has lead to scenarios where we didn't speak to each other for a stretch of time, for fear of &quot;setting the other off&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long story short, it rarely helped. The only time it ever helped was when were actually angry at the other, and we were both smart enough to not trigger each other's hormonal response. Without talking to each other, we were left guessing as to what each other's motivators were, and what was going through their head. From my experience, this has never helped (I also come from a family of pessimists), despite the age old wisdom that &quot;time heals all wounds&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, we don't share any interests, or really have much in common besides the fact that he's my Dad, but I've started making an effort to force myself to talk to him, and start conversations, which is something I've never been great at. You don't need to force playing with him, but you &lt;strong&gt;must&lt;/strong&gt; show him that you care, and that his efforts aren't a waste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, it likely wasn't the fact that you didn't want to play GTA5 with him that upset him, it was likely a combination of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The fact that he tried to bond, and likely feels that he was shut down, and his efforts (and money) were wasted.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The fact that you don't generally seem to have an interest in him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm only 22, but picturing myself as a Dad, I can't think of anything more hurtful than my own children wanting nothing to do with me, and seemingly not caring about my wellbeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20978" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T20:11:44.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24129" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23919" CreationDate="2016-02-23T21:44:53.540" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a hard one but I think I might get what you're saying. I am an older sister with a younger sister who I feel takes advantage of our mother. I am now 38 and she is 36. I have always been independent and even when times were tough, I made it through. However, my little sister is still living at home, has our mother raising her daughter and has taken over the house. Needless to say, it makes me furious to watch, hear and be around. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister is a manipulative, mean person...to everyone.  I remember trying to get my mother to see it and put her foot down, it got me now where and only caused drama between us. My mother started to push ME away, not my sister.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So here is what I've learned for my personal situation. Get over it. Let it go. Yes, it sucks, but it is your mothers choice and she is her daughter. You need to deal with YOU.  Not your sister, not your mother, not the entire family. Just YOU. Take care of yourself, find a way to cope with the situation (meditation, yoga, reading, get a hobby) but LET IT GO. It is not your job or responsibility to &quot;mother your sister&quot; by trying to control the situation. You have a choice when there is a fight or drama. You can get pulled into it, create it or walk away. It's not worth the walls it will build. She's 10 years old...what she is doing is mostly normal. Annoying and upsetting, but normal for her age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And think about it this way, how do you think it makes your mother feel when your sister is upset and you are upset...at her. I'll tell you how she feels, like crap. As the eldest child she needs you to be supportive, kind, understanding and maybe take her our for lunch or a movie now and then. Not a lecture on parenting...you're not a parent. I have this awful image of an 18 year old young WOMEN whining to her mommy about her 10 year old baby sister...not cool. Not cool at all. Why are you letting a 10 year old upset you that much? You're legally a grown women now. Let it go and be thankful that you can get up and leave when ever you like. Your sister is still 8 years away from that. You're the lucky one :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck either way and remember, your freakin 18...go HAVE FUN!!!! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T21:44:53.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24123" CreationDate="2016-02-23T22:04:00.467" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I discussed this issue at great depth ten years ago when my best friend's egg-donor-generated child was born. Our discussions went back and forth many times. In the end, my friend decided to tell her as soon as she was old enough to understand. The moment happened around age 8 for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we all were anxious about what would happen, the child took it naturally, because it had been introduced naturally. My friend did it very lovingly, and explained that she may not have been her biological mother but she was her mother. Four years have passed since that moment: for the child, this is an unimportant fact, which she knows and periodically refers to casually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you must be anguished. I am not sure if anyone's experience can apply 100% to any other person. But, based on this one data point, my suggestions would be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do it earlier rather than later&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do it lovingly and fairly casually (i.e. not with drama)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make the theme &quot;I am your father. I love you. Your biological father is someone else.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This must feel like such a big issue right now. Fifteen years from now, you and your daughter will not see it the same way. You will still be her loving father, and that's all there will be to it. Wishing you the very best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20979" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T22:04:00.467" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24132" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24107" CreationDate="2016-02-23T22:18:48.637" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're a gamer with relationship problems? Hey, I was a gamer with relationship problems too. I get it. (I even met my wife on an online game. Right after I killed her. What a noob... Sorry, what was I saying?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have a lot of things going for you. The biggest one is that he's trying. The next biggest one is that you told him the truth. Right there, I can see that both of you want to make this work. You already have a leg up on most people in your situation!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said you need a step by step guide on what to do. One game I used to play was WoW, and I really loved to progression raid. We were on the bleeding edge of the content, and the few guilds ahead of us weren't sharing info. We had to go in there, get our ass kicked by the boss, figure out what we did wrong, and fix it. Next time, we maybe got the boss to 30%. Then 20% the next wipe. There was no step by step guide, but we all worked together, learned from our mistakes (most of us, anyway... stupid rogues... every freaking time...) and eventually tackled the boss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And no one has done the content you're doing right now. Maybe your step sister? Or an aunt or uncle? But certainly, no one who is qualified to write a step by step guide has done so. Instead, you just have to go in there, figure out what the challenges are, and step out of the fire when you see it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Luckily, a lot of encounters are &lt;em&gt;similar&lt;/em&gt; enough where you can do some tried and true things to increase the chance of success, even if it's not step by step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Always be honest.&lt;/strong&gt; You guys seem to have this down so far.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep the lines open.&lt;/strong&gt; If he comes home mad, ask him to talk about why he's mad. You're 16, you can probably handle whatever it is he's mad about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be willing to make the first move.&lt;/strong&gt; If you guys stall out in communication for a few days, make the extra step. My wife was out of town the past few days, and when she came back last night she said she really wanted to watch Magic Mike XXL. I was watching some MTGO on twitch.tv, which I really would rather have watched. I prefer Eldrazi to shirtless guys that I'll never compare to. But, I figured what the heck. I don't want watch it, but I do want to spend time with her. Turns out, the movie didn't completely suck, and she was definitely happy to spend time with me. I definitely got more out of that than I would have if I kept watching twitch.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep it simple, down to basics.&lt;/strong&gt; He loves you. He wants a relationship with you. You love him. You want a relationship with him. That is enough to make it work. If it seems like all the other stuff in the way (anxiety, stress, money problems, time apart/travel, even jet lag) makes you not able to make it work, just remember that you have the necessary building blocks to make it work.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Take it one day at a time.&lt;/strong&gt; Don't take any day for granted. If yesterday was a good day, awesome! If today is a bad day, don't let it stay that way. Don't let a streak of good days go to waste, and don't let a streak of bad days get you down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can do this. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2016-02-23T22:18:48.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24133" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-23T22:29:41.047" Score="6" ViewCount="868" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 14. She is usually very good and not hard to cope with, but sometimes she gets very angry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, when I take away her phone, or her sisters use her belongings, or she can't do her homework, or play the right notes on her piano song, she will get mad -- throwing things, shouting, crying, trying to break everything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This happens every time she gets upset. She seems too old to be doing this. When she goes in these moods, how do I manage her and get her to calm down? Will she grow out of this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20983" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-20T12:27:08.487" LastActivityDate="2019-06-20T12:30:39.337" Title="How can I help my 14-year-old daughter be less angry?" Tags="|teen|tantrums|anger|coping|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24133" CreationDate="2016-02-24T01:07:47.287" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, I'm just gonna tell you what I did...after failing miserably with my teenage boys (who btw. behaved the same way at the same age). So when my 14-year-old baby girl started to show signs of behaving the same way, here is what I didn't do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I did not yell, fight or make empty threats at her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I did not offer rewards for her poor behavior to stop.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I did not pretend it was okay, acceptable or normal. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is what I did do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I observed, listened and learned:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are her trigger points? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What sets her off? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What situations escalate this behavior? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is she eating? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much sleep is she getting (and I mean RM sleep, not just laying there awake and pretending to be asleep) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much stimulation is she getting (e. g. friend/school/social media drama/technology/screen time)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Who else is this affecting?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realized that my daughter's anger and temper tantrums were due to a too unbalanced diet, social media over stimulation (which caused a lack of sleep) and a lack of constancy on my part. I also learned that if I watched her I could tell when she was about to &quot;blow up&quot; and step in before it happened. I know this sounds kind of silly...but you would do the same with a toddler right? It's just a modification.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key is to head it off before it happens and make some environmental changes without directly stressing her (and you) out. Make a few meal changes, maybe cut out some grocery treats, cut back on TV/Screen time aka computer time. Take control of the social media intake (we had her choose one social media outlet, she went with Facebook, and that's it). We stopped letting her sleep until noon on weekends. Get her up, make sure she's tired at bed time...even on weekends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It takes time. It's not an over night turn around but I'll tell you this, my daughter is so much nicer to be around now. She has become a kind, rational young lady that we can now set down and have conversations with instead of yelling, crying fights. This is an imperative lesson your child needs from you. Controlling our emotions and environment is key to living a happy, full life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps a bit. As I said, this is what we did, maybe it's not for everyone. But my boys are still struggling as adults and I wish I had known more then...don't we all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-20T12:30:39.337" LastActivityDate="2019-06-20T12:30:39.337" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12357" CreationDate="2016-02-24T04:20:11.893" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;5 year olds can be hard to handle. They are big enough that they can be quite strong, and do damage when they hit, but young enough that they're still prone to temper tantrums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to show him who's boss, but you don't need to spank him. Assuming you're a normal able bodied adult, however strong he might be, you are still stronger, and you're able to restrain him in a way which will not hurt him or yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Running away and hiding in your room could be quite counter productive. This will not help him learn to respect you. It's vital that he learn to respect you now, while he's young, because by the time he's in his early teens he will be stronger than you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don't take this the wrong way, but this is something that dads are very useful for. They can easily restrain a child without being hurt, or hurting the child. For whatever reason (none of my business) there obviously isn't a dad available, so you need to do that role as well. If you're finding you really can't handle him, take a gym class. I guarantee you're a lot stronger than you think you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-24T04:20:11.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24139" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24107" CreationDate="2016-02-24T13:00:47.663" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you really &quot;don't like doing anything with him anymore&quot; or are you not liking doing some particular stuff he suggests? If the problem is the activities, then just tell &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; instead of blanket &quot;anything&quot; which frankly sounds like plain &quot;GTFAway from me&quot; and understandably very hurtful and suggest things you'd like to do together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2700" LastActivityDate="2016-02-24T13:00:47.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23861" CreationDate="2016-02-24T14:47:35.157" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm hoping by now you've been able to get some help. I was wondering if you had tried carol syrup? If you dip your finger in it then let her suck on your finger that's all she would need. It's a natural, non-harming way to help the bowels move along. This also works on adults :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW this is information from my mother, who is a CNA and my husband, who is an RN. It worked for us so thought it might help to know about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-24T14:47:35.157" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24120" CreationDate="2016-02-24T17:22:35.080" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest giving her a lot of help to start with. If she finds it very difficult then she probably won't feel like trying. Once she gets the feel of it, she might start to realise that it can be fun. Then you can gradually give less help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also have a two year old and I guess it's the same for any age that an activity needs to be not too easy and not too hard for them to take an interest. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got a scooter for our son and he doesn't want to try it himself at all at the moment. But he's already looking a lot more comfortable and feels better balanced on it when we pull him along. We use a strap to pull the scooter and when he's doing well we can allow it to slacken a bit so he gets less help. You could try something equivalent by taking her to ride down a gentle slope. If she gets a chance to lift her feet for a short amount of time and feel the bike roll then she gets to experience the fun part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've not tried our son on any type of bike yet but I've read a bit about balance bikes and I like the sound of them. It makes sense that they would give the child the idea of learning to balance more than relying on training wheels to hold them up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2016-02-24T17:22:35.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24144" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-24T22:46:34.647" Score="5" ViewCount="403" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two daughters, 12 and 15 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The younger goes to sleep at about 9 and wakes up for school at 7 so she gets around 10 hours of sleep, but her older sister is up until around 11:30pm doing homework. She finishes school at 4:30, rides the train home (arrives at 5:30), has dance practise every other day for two hours (6-8pm) then has to practise piano, so she doesn't even start her homework until around 9, then she has to have dinner and she still wants to relax and watch TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since she has to get up for school at 6:30, she's only getting around 6-7 hours sleep. She always seems to be really tired and that is affecting her mood. She has to do dance and piano as she has her grade 8 coming up and she's auditioning for a performing arts summer school. How much sleep should she be getting and how can she fit it in to her busy schedule?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20983" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T02:25:34.123" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T02:25:34.123" Title="Is my daughter getting enough sleep?" Tags="|sleep|teen|activities|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24145" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-24T22:47:05.520" Score="0" ViewCount="316" Body="&lt;p&gt;We want to change my child's first name. In records, his first name is ROHINI SHRIHAN, but we want to make it SHRIHAN as first name and ROHINI as middle name. Now he is 3 years old and in few days he is going to start his preschool. What is the procedure/process/ documents that required to change name in CA,USA. I'll be glad if anyone help me with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21009" LastActivityDate="2016-02-24T23:12:35.417" Title="Changing child's first name" Tags="|names|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2016-02-24T23:20:52.830" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24146" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24145" CreationDate="2016-02-24T23:12:35.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Generally speaking, parents can change the names of their children fairly easily, as long as both parents agree. Try starting here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.courts.ca.gov/1052.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.courts.ca.gov/1052.htm&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how it works in Claifornia specifically, but here's a brief overview anyway: You will probably have to file a bunch of forms and then get assigned a court date. At the court date, a judge will listen to why you want to change the name (easily explained in your case, by a confusion in school as to what your child should be called) and then after the hearing a new birth certificate will be processed. I would expect at LOT of red tape, some court fees, but no real difficulty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20772" LastActivityDate="2016-02-24T23:12:35.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24123" CreationDate="2016-02-25T06:33:17.723" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no expertise in this area, but I think it's right to provide a different view..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think this is at all equivalent to egg or sperm donation, due to the mother's deception, so I'd be careful not to assume it should be approached in an equivalent way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to get the facts straight before you do anything. Eg the who the why and the when. Does the biological father know? I'm sure she will want the answers to these questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ignorance is bliss. Is there really a compelling reason to tell her now? Given that she is a teenager, she is well past the age where she will just accept it and move on, but before an an age where she can approach it in a mature way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One reason I can think of for telling her is to avoid the possibility of her independently forming relationships with any of her relatives. That would cause more damage!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do decide to tell her now, I think you and the mother need to be present and the mother do the talking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20633" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T06:33:17.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24144" CreationDate="2016-02-25T08:49:01.060" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;As for the recommended amount of sleep, sources vary - most state between seven and nine hours for teens, with a rather new &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.palgrave-journals.com/eej/journal/v38/n4/full/eej201133a.html&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; suggesting that the lower amount &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be linked to better academic performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you read them carefully, you will soon notice that &lt;em&gt;individual&lt;/em&gt; needs can vary and current recommendations usually add the caveat that each child must be seen as individual. Not unlike for adults: some will be happy and awake after five or six hours, others tend to be in a &quot;zombie trance&quot; if they don't get nine or more hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So &lt;em&gt;in theory&lt;/em&gt; your daughter might be fine with seven hours, but from what you write, this seems to be not the case: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;she always seems to be really tired and that is affecting her mood&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note thas she is at an age where she has a lot of &quot;growing&quot; going on, both physically and mentally. Especially her brain is right in the middle of a major re-structuring process, going from child to young adult. Sufficient rest and above all, sleep, is important. A lot of wild things are happening in her brain while she seemingly &quot;does nothing, just sleeps&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to have a strenuous schedule and I'm not convinced that it is just the lack of sleep that wears her out. We do have a &quot;don't argue with the premises&quot; policy here on Parenting SE, but allow me to play devil's advocate here. Let's just take all &quot;she has to&quot; points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;has to get up at 6:30&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Can you shave off &lt;em&gt;just a tiny bit&lt;/em&gt; of her morning routine? I know she's fifteen, but how about less / quicker make-up and hairstyle? Can you pack her lunch instead of her doing it herself? Perhaps (and I don't really like the suggestion) breakfast on the train instead of at home?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;has to take the train&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Ok, probably that is fixed, but how about using that time for homework? Reading exercises, vocabulary and studying for tests all don't require a desk and might be more effective at 5pm instead of at 11pm.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Or this can be a dedicated time to relax and socialize, especially if she rides together with friends. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;has dance practise every other day&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This makes three afternoons, if I calculate correctly. Would her performance be so much worse if she does only &lt;em&gt;two&lt;/em&gt;? You obviously can't build strength without actually practising, but &lt;em&gt;mentally rehearsing&lt;/em&gt; or going through the motions is a proven technique to practise without actually doing the moves. Many professional athletes use it and I can confirm that it works. Again: think of those two hours on the train. Note that excessive training may increase the risk of injury, destroying all the work that alrady went into her dancing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;has to do piano practise&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Again: can you reduce the frequency? Alternating between dancing and piano sounds reasonable. The point of excessive strain on her fingers is the same as above.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;has to do homework&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Yes. And no. Did you consider cutting down the effort she puts into school? Sometimes it's a question of efficiency, not of the sheer number of pages written etc. Have you talked to her teachers whether she can reduce the workload &lt;em&gt;if the dancing and piano are a serious career option&lt;/em&gt;? You might be able to work out an arrangement or find out that you consider school more important than dancing and piano.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;has to do dance and piano as she's auditioning for performing arts summer school&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;What would happen if she either doesn't audition or fails? How &quot;good&quot; is she already with regard to what is expected? Ask yourself: how important is that summer school for her future life? I don't think she will be a professional piano player &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; dancer in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is fifteen. At that age, you should discuss the points above together as a family and decide which route you want to take. As I see it, carrying on as is will probably cause too much stress on your whole family (if one member is constantly grumpy, for example). If she chooses to keep up her schedule, it will cut into her &quot;relax&quot; time in the evenings because she aparently needs more sleep than she's getting at the moment. Remember that watching TV is not supporting good sleep either, finding other ways of &quot;winding down&quot; would be better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T08:49:01.060" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24151" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-25T15:26:17.597" Score="3" ViewCount="315" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby just turned 3 months old and he is crying a lot, he is hard to put to sleep as well as he fights it and cry a lot. We tried everything, changing his pampers on time, milk on time, give him time but he won't stop crying. He doesn't have temperature or any rash. He is really really getting hard to manage as we are unable to determine what is wrong. It is our first one but he wasn't like this before, as he would settle but not now, what would parents here recommend?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7778" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T14:15:41.197" Title="Three months crying a lot. Cannot determine reason" Tags="|infant|behavior|development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24120" CreationDate="2016-02-25T16:45:59.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Balance bikes are great! Both our kids love them. Our oldest moved to pedal bike at 3, no training wheels. from the beginning he was able to go very fast. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was VERY excited about biking, because dad bikes a lot, and got the balance bike at 18 months (much advertising say you can ride it 'as soon as you can walk' - this is false). He was able to use it at 22 months. What made him use it was:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Motivation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His dad mountain bikes a lot. He would ride around with our son on his big fancy bikes. He goes biking almost every weekend. Son really wants to do the fun things dad does! &#xA;Be an example! Do fun biking things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other kids&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to learning to ride a balance bike, I found the thing that helped the most was watching another kid use the bike. We had an older toddler over, and he showed our son how to use it. He had mostly been walking around with it, then suddenly he was using it correctly, just from a quick show. If you have any friends whose kids uses balance bikes, have them come over and show. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be sure the balance bike is lightweight too, and the wheels turns easily. The best I have seen are Strider, or some from actual bike companies like Giant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think balance bikes are a really good way to learn to bike. Training wheels really slow you down, and can make it really hard to enjoy biking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T16:45:59.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24151" CreationDate="2016-02-25T18:01:01.150" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not to sound obvious, but have you talked to the pediatrician?  There could be a medical reason.  Outside of the vague diagnosis of &quot;colic,&quot; there could be gastrointestinal issues at play.  But, excessive crying at 3 months isn't &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; odd.  My oldest was like that even though she was 100% healthy.  After about 6 months, she calmed down.  Take him to the doctor, and if the doctor says he's okay, just be patient and watch for other odd symptoms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21031" LastEditorUserId="21031" LastEditDate="2016-02-25T18:25:44.127" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T18:25:44.127" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24151" CreationDate="2016-02-25T18:17:11.427" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be very frustrating not to know what the matter is. We had a similar experience with our daughter. She was tired but couldn't get to sleep. Took us a long time to figure that out, but when we tried taking a walk with her in a sling or  holding her while gently hopping on one of those large rubber balls physiotherapists use, things started to get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever it is, good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20700" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T18:17:11.427" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24156" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24151" CreationDate="2016-02-25T18:39:35.497" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wondering if you breast or bottle feed? If bottle feed, he might need more holding time. Nothing beats touch at that age. Keep them safe and warm :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20981" LastActivityDate="2016-02-25T18:39:35.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24144" CreationDate="2016-02-26T07:32:13.530" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 17.5 year old gets about the same amount of sleep as Alexa, but he is a senior with 5 AP classes, 2 varsity sports, and a million extracurriculars. I feel that lack of sleep is affecting his performance too. But at his age I can't really control his choices: he chose his classes, his sports and his extracurriculars, though I wanted him to pick fewer of each.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On that basis, I would feel Alexa, being two years younger, is quite overloaded if she is similar to my kids. I would be worried about her lack of sleep too. Unless she is an unusual child, I would expect that it is probably not enough sleep for her. Need for sleep is so personal - but at her age I would expect her to need a solid extra hour of sleep than she is getting. I would love to be able to give you a solution to compensate for lack of time (I could use that too...) but I think the only solution would be to offload some of her activities:(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on my kids, Stephanie's sleep patterns looks fine to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answers are based on my limited experience as a parent:-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20979" LastActivityDate="2016-02-26T07:32:13.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24151" CreationDate="2016-02-26T07:48:16.923" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the same sequence happen with our second child (not with the first).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few weeks of constant crying, we bought him a sleeping swing. Within 5 days he was falling asleep in 5 minutes. No more crying - for us either:-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incidentally, we never found out what was making him cry before - nor why he did not cry after.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your mileage may vary. I have suggested a swing to four different friends who had the same problem as ours. It worked for three of them. Hopefully it will work for you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The swing we bought had two mobiles and music. The mobiles (one B&amp;amp;W, one color) did not seem to make a difference, but the music was quite important. One tune worked better than the others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20979" LastActivityDate="2016-02-26T07:48:16.923" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24052" CreationDate="2016-02-26T10:13:46.920" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh yes siblings love each other, but they are also most capable to do things where the other reacts angry, upset, sad etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my view there is two issues at those ages to resolve conflicts: the lack of understanding the other as individual and his or her emotions (more developed from age 4 on) and the very basic communication (in particular with 22 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I do with ny kids (3,5 years and 19 months) is the following. When talking to the older I first empathise with his situation. Describe what I see: Playing with XY and her approaching. Guess his feelings (more meant as emotions. Other example: &quot;When she takes your car &lt;strong&gt;you react&lt;/strong&gt; angry&quot;).&#xA;He might feel annoyed, because he wants to play and not cuddle. Find out his needs: playing/fun, have some peace and quiet etc..&#xA;Then when I see he is opening up and feels understood I make him understand his little sister:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Your sister comes to you and wants to hug you. She loves you a lot and therfore has the need to hug you and wants to be close to you. When you give her a hug and a kiss she will be happy and leave you alone playing.&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I actually translate in four steps:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Observe and describe only what I see.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Guess the feelings (might discuss for the older for the younger I have to leave it to guessing for now).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Find out the need they express or which is the reason for the feeling. (Even works with the little one e. g. for food or things she wants to have but can't reach. I can just show her if that is what she wants to have).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell one or the other what would fulfill that need (hug or kiss in your case) or do myself what I understand as request.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps for a start, but it takes time to establish something that works for you and your kids. My son got much calmer with me first empathising with him, but he had to get used to me asking for or guessing his feelings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to train on such approaches NVC from Marshall Rosenberg and the books by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (e. g. Siblings Without Rivalry) help a lot already from that young age on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20926" LastActivityDate="2016-02-26T10:13:46.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23606" CreationDate="2016-02-26T10:54:33.957" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a kid you change your mind all the time. Once the neighbours are annoying and next day they're best friends. You should let your little boy some time to decide. Let him handle this himself. He'll do it I'm sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you see that the neighbours son is a bad influence(cussing, bad behavior) for your son watch out! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it doesn't work out for your son you should tell your neighbour even though he's sensetive.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways I hope they become friends! Good luck with your son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21045" LastActivityDate="2016-02-26T10:54:33.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24163" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24164" CreationDate="2016-02-26T11:16:56.007" Score="4" ViewCount="2760" Body="&lt;p&gt;My seven months old daughter is rolling quite a lot nowadays. This is cute when she is awake and we are present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, lately she is also rolling in her bed during the night, when she awakes for a while. This is a bit problematic, because we have a Montessori-bed: the mattress is in the floor without any fence whatsoever. This means that when she reaches the edge of the mattress, she falls. Having the matress in the floor means that the fall is very small, so she just lands in the little tatami the mattress lies on. However, this also means that she does not have the blanket over her anymore and may get cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, she sometimes cries a little bit, but in most of the cases she just falls asleep again and we find her sleeping in a funny prawn position next to the mattress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried fixing the blanket around her, so it is more complicated for her to get out of it. However, she ends up being able to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any idea on how to solve this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-02-26T12:12:44.837" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T10:36:42.143" Title="How to prevent infants from rolling out of bed?" Tags="|infant|behavior|sleep|bedroom|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24164" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24163" CreationDate="2016-02-26T12:11:07.663" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;One common suggestion is &lt;a href=&quot;https://ne.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/vksy3/kids_fall_out_of_bed_1_fitted_sheet_1_pool_noodle/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;a pool noodle&lt;/a&gt; under the edge of the mattress sheet. It will not prevent a very aggressive or active roller from escaping and can still be climbed over at will, but if she's just tossing and turning it should keep her on the mattress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/BeGMf.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/BeGMf.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;pool noodle under sheet&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-02-26T12:11:07.663" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24166" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24163" CreationDate="2016-02-27T09:03:34.083" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the same issue with our daughter and we had to improvise. The Bedrail is designed to use with a bed however it works perfectly with a mattress only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/PB2PO.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/PB2PO.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a stretchy net so even if the baby pushes hard it'll push him/her back gently. The frame is made of very light plastic parts so even if it falls on the baby for any reason it won't her him/her&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind that I still think Erica's solution is way SAFER. My answer is only from personal experience that I should share to make the question more informative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastActivityDate="2016-02-27T09:03:34.083" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24168" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24169" CreationDate="2016-02-27T19:53:59.903" Score="4" ViewCount="893" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a milk formula for a 9 month baby. Are there any scientific reasons requiring to boil the water before mixing in the formula's powder? The baby already drinks the tap water as it is healthy for human consumption here in Switzerland&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2283" LastActivityDate="2016-02-27T20:42:45.757" Title="Is it necessary to boil the water for baby formula in Switzerland?" Tags="|formula|water|babyfood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24168" CreationDate="2016-02-27T20:42:45.757" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, you need not boil the water, especially as your child is already nine months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The recommendation to always boil is just to be extra safe in reducing bacteria content. Note that even very clean tap or bottled water is not sterile and neither is water that has been boiled for a few minutes. In general the recommendation to wash / boil everything you give to your baby becomes quite futile around six months: the imune system should be quite developed and a child that crawls will put much more things (starting with the hands...!) in his mouth than a smaller infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, you should always use &lt;em&gt;fresh, cold&lt;/em&gt; water, never warm tap water, which may have higher contents of bacteria, microorganisms or heavy metals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply warm the cold tap water to the temperature recommended by the formula manufacturer. Discard any leftovers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources (in German):&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mvb-be.ch/download/pictures/26/cp3xe7wvxmhytjmapy66wilhl8vxek/mvb_4_6_merkblatt_de_111018_w.pdf&quot;&gt;Mütter- und Väterberatung des Kanton Bern&lt;/a&gt; (pdf)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.luks.ch/de/ueber-uns/publikationen/medizinischer-ratgeber/nlz-ratgeber-detail/news/222-muss-milch-und-wasser-fuer-den-schoppen-abgekocht-werden.html&quot;&gt;Luzerner Kantonsspital&lt;/a&gt; (discussing a case very similar to yours)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-02-27T20:42:45.757" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24163" CreationDate="2016-02-28T10:36:42.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you have described the rolling out of bed as harmless, your real question seems to be about how to prevent your child from getting cold (and waking up) due to having lost their blanket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until they are old enough to solve the lost blanket situation without help, you can use an &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeping_bag#Infant_use&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;infant sleeping bag&lt;/a&gt; for your child.  Such a garment is considerably harder for your child to remove by itself, ensuring that it does not happen accidentally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome#Sleep_sacks&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Apparently&lt;/a&gt; they have some other benefits as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T10:36:42.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24171" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-28T11:23:39.893" Score="130" ViewCount="41016" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 21 year old female living in Egypt and I am beyond terrified of my own father...at least I think he is my father. To say it shortly, I think I might have been adopted at a young age and no one told me about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Egypt, daughters must carry the same name as the father, my name is different from my father's, hence the conclusion of being adopted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On to the actual topic: I have been living in fear of my father since I was 6 years old. He left my mother and me when I was five and married another woman behind our backs. I have despised him ever since but my mother would have me spend every Friday with him and his family even though she hates it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My father would hit me and yell at me since I was three and still does until now. His yells send cold chills down my spine and once I actually peed myself from fear when I was 20! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think this is healthy, living in fear all my life to the extent that I have to motivate myself a couple of times before walking out of the house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother died when I was 12 and I was forced to live with my father and his family which brought on more fear and anxiety because his wife hated my guts along with her oldest daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My health is starting to deteriorate due to the constant fear and anxiety I have. I can't move out because my father won't allow it. I don't have any friends willing to take me in for a few weeks and my father won't allow it either, and I seem to have no other option than to just wait for my death.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yeah... I have been constantly thinking that death is the only way out from this misery... I won't lie and say that I haven't thought of suicide... because I have... A LOT! If it weren't forbidden in my religion I think I would have done it a long time ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want help as to what I should do? Talking is not an option because my father is not the type to talk to... he is like a ticking time bomb; a grenade with the pin out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do to stop this constant feeling of anxiety and terror from my father? How could I escape this life I call my prison? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know it's not much of a parenting question, but I thought since you are parents you would have some helpful advice. Maybe I am not seeing the whole picture clearly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21063" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-02-26T08:24:18.063" LastActivityDate="2018-02-26T08:24:18.063" Title="I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father" Tags="|adult-child|fears|anxiety|adoption|abuse|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="23" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-28T11:49:04.360" Score="52" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are the victim of abuse. You do not deserve to live in fear. You do not deserve to be hit, or to be shouted at.  You father's behaviour is not acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to look for organisations in your country that can provide help and advice to women in your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't speak Arabic, and so I can't do a search for organisations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T11:49:04.360" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-28T12:05:58.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you able to leave your home alone. If so, perhaps you could contact a western aid organisation, and seek advice. If you're able to get out of Egypt, there may be places you could seek asylum, but getting out in the first place could be very difficult and very expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would there be any way you might be able to get permission to travel out of the country, perhaps on the pretence of going to study in the United States, or Canada, Australia etc?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You would need to be able to convince your father, and the foreign consulate (when you apply for a visa) that you will definitely return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can do this, and can get into a western country, you can claim asylum, and it should not be possible for them to compel you to return home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do this, it may be unsafe to travel to certain Islamic countries again. You would also want to change your name as soon as possible, to prevent your father from tracking you down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you cannot get out, don't give up hope. You father obviously is much older than you, so you should not have to wait for your death until you're free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-02-28T15:39:44.297" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T15:39:44.297" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-28T12:11:25.597" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know what I am suggesting is extreme, but so is your situation and your fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get out. At least out of the city. You have survived this far, and you DO have the strength to reach out with this question. That shows a lot of determination already.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure how you can best pull this off, because I don't know what resources you are denied and which ones you have access to, but a quick checklist of things to have:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your passport, plus whatever papers you can get your hands on.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As much CASH money as you can get, plus whatever cards you feel your father cannot just block -&gt; Max out whatever cards he CAN block&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Possibly Maps -&gt; Depends on how and where you can travel.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;All your heart. You will need it. And yes, if you can get contact with Western help organisations, do so.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stay strong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11241" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2016-02-28T15:13:05.753" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T15:13:05.753" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24151" CreationDate="2016-02-28T14:15:41.197" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Colic&quot; is a common problem with babies starting at 2 weeks-2 months, and almost always stops before 6 months.  Our 2nd daughter had it (and yes, she was breast fed).  It was like a 3-month nightmare.  There are a number of theories about what cause it ( &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_colic&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_colic&lt;/a&gt; ), and a number of things you can try, e.g. leg presses (gently push the baby's knees up into the chest), colic drops, mother's diet or formula changes, etc.  None of these seemed to do much for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were careful to be very loving and comforting to her while we could, but when we just couldn't do it anymore we'd take her in and lay her gently in her crib, make sure she'd be comfortable, and then close the door and take a break for a few hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21065" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T14:15:41.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23861" CreationDate="2016-02-28T14:46:41.817" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of these problems are akin to trying to answer the question, &quot;Why won't my car start?&quot;  There are so many factors, from medical problems to diet to disposition to environmental problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We could often coax gas our of our babies by holding the undersides of their thighs and gently pushing their knees up to their chest.  They seemed to like this, and occasionally it would make them poop a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21065" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T14:46:41.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12357" CreationDate="2016-02-28T15:06:15.630" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every child is different -- some throw tantrums because it's effective at getting them what they want (treats, toys, attention), others because they're angry (hormones, frustration) and they naturally expend energy to deal with those feelings, or because they've seen examples of that kind of behavior in those situations and are mimicking it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider little experiments to figure out which of the above is the best match --&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For #1, which is common, tell them very calmly, &quot;Uh, oh, little boys who behave like that don't get what they want, they get to go spend some time in their room.&quot; And then I would gently carry him up and lay him on his bed.  He'd thrash and sometimes try to hold the door jamb as I'd carry him in, so I'd often try to grab him from behind around his chest locking his upper arms in place, and his legs so he couldn't do a lot of kicking.  If he tried to jump back up I'd hold him down until he realized he couldn't get up.  Then I'd say in a super-calm voice, &quot;You can come out when you're ready to be sweet.&quot;  When he came out, I'd pretend like the whole world was beautiful again and I'd say, &quot;There's my sweet boy!&quot; and give him a big hug.  Usually this whole cycle would only take about 10 minutes, and those episodes became increasingly rare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids misbehave because it's the only way they get attention from their parents.  So when my kids misbehave, I ask myself, &quot;Is this the only way he can get my attention?&quot;  I'll then ignore the misbehavior, but watch in the next 30 seconds for something good he does, then say, &quot;Hey, buddy, I noticed you put your shoes away, nice job!  Want me to read you a book?&quot;  He's a great kid now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note, much of the above comes from Love and Logic (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.loveandlogic.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.loveandlogic.com&lt;/a&gt;), their book is really good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For #2, sports or outdoor activities (suggested elsewhere) are good options.  Swimming and/or running are good ways to blow through that energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For #3, consider a self-evaluation -- how do I respond to stress and frustration?  Am I modeling good stress-coping skills for my child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if that's ok, consider what kinds of media they're exposed to.  Video games and TV and movies are quite violent these days, we don't often realize how much anger and violence our children are exposed to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all, be sure to love and cherish him.  =)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21065" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T15:06:15.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-28T16:56:49.683" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you have survived shows your strength. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you are seeing the situation with great clarity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Living with ongoing anxiety is definitely best avoided if at all possible. But you don't want to make a bad situation worse! Again, do not make a bad situation worse. Therefore you need to be very careful about what you do. This is not a time to act rashly - but a time for strategic thinking and planning that may take some time to put into action. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First thing as already stated:  make absolutely sure they cannot track your online activity so they can't find this question. TOTALLY CRITICAL !!!!   One option is to install a different browser to whatever you usually use and only read this topic on that browser and make sure there is no shortcut to the browser on your desktop or Start Menu etc. You can open it by typing the name into the little search box on the Windows menu assuming you are using Windows 7 or so.  And make sure the browsing history is also deleted after you use it. So if you use Firefox then also install Google Chrome and hide any reference to it. Alternatively you could just download CCleaner and run it after using your PC to remove browsing history. How much you need to do depends how PC literate they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I see it, in regards to leaving the major problem is money - in the short term and longer term. You need cash or goods of value to leave and set-up elsewhere and then you need some form of employment to sustain it. You may not have this covered now but you may be able to work towards it over time. (ie. selling things on ebay or at a market and adding to your skills by learning online - eg. learning to touch type, learning marketing, etc....). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are employable and jobs are available in a nearby city then that would go a long way towards a successful outcome for you. I don't where you stand on this ??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it necessary to leave the country ?  Couldn't you just move to another, distant city ? Would you need to change your name ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The secondary problem as I see it is the papers. First, as suggested by someone else,  I would research the situation with regards to obtaining new papers. That's the best option. There must be some procedure for issuing new papers (when they are lost etc). If you can get a post box at a post office and get new papers sent there. If none of this is possible then you are back to trying to obtain the originals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The locked door - many door locks can be picked.  You can make a lock pick or a thing called a &quot;bump key&quot;  (see google). If you are lucky and it is a common lock you may be able to get one from somewhere to practice on first. I would actually advise this because it is possible to damage the lock (without opening it) which could make them suspicious. So be careful on that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, depending on the lock, it can be possible to wedge a bit of paper or cardboard into the part where the lock bolt fits into - to stop the bolt from locking in securely. This can work. If done properly if will seem like the door secures properly but it can then be opened if tested. Again, this would require some practice to ensure it doesn't fail - but it may be possible. You could read about it online.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The locked bag - Can you take the whole bag with you ?  If not, is it padlocked ?  Bolt-cutters from the hardware store will cut-through most padlocks - but again practice first. They may require a bit of strength depending on the padlock size. Alternatively, can you just slash the bag open with a knife or similar, take your papers and leave the rest ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If none of that seems possible now then you are down to &quot;harm minimization&quot; tactics. You are probably doing all this already but anyway..... -  Stay away from him and home as much as possible; try to spend as much time at work or at a friend's house as possible;  try to identify what things will set him off and avoid doing them; try to do things you enjoy to take your mind away from it, like reading drawing, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important to be very clear in your mind that these are his issues and nothing to do with you as a person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also try not to view the situation as &quot;a prison&quot; even if it feels like one. Making it &quot;a prison&quot; builds the psychological impression (in your mind) that it can't be escaped. It is not a prison but rather a very difficult and bad situation that you have survived, but ideally you need to leave. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My left field suggestion would be to try to do nice things for him on the basis that it's harder to be mean to someone if they are being nice to you and doing nice things for you....   It may create some psychological conflict in his mind/emotions if he goes to be mean to you but knows you have been kind to him. This may be hard to do and it may not work but I can't seen any risks in trying it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope something in there helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be strategic. Be careful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21073" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T16:56:49.683" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-28T17:46:38.300" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;So you don't like your father...  but how much of a talking relationship do you have?&#xA;If he knows you are miserable, then nobody likes to cause misery.  Sometimes such people try to exert authority and fix what they see as a problem.  However, he may be willing to just agree to dismiss/disown you.  If he does agree to that, then you may not need to flee your home area quite as much.  That may be the much less disruptive, and acceptable, solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he won't cooperate, then the Arabic culture may empower him to have significant control over your life.  Your best option may be to try getting into a different culture.  You appear to have done a good job writing this question in English.  You are young enough that you can invest in a different life, and enjoy a lengthy life somewhere else.  This may mean leaving all of your possessions and even many relationships.  Too often, people trust siblings or other people who may also tell the father.  Maybe they don't even tell him everything right away, but sometime say something (or respond to a question in a certain way) that provides some details so he can figure out the threat of your departure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be aware of how people can be tracked.  For instance, obviously cell phone towers can keep track of where a cell phone is at (which is how a cell phone can receive a phone call).  If you need to go into hiding, do some planning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In America where I live, churches are often involved with helping people escape scary situations.  You didn't mention which religion you follow.  I suspect Islam due to its popularity in your area.  You may find that Christians are quite compassionate, as love is a very important aspect of their religion.  It is likely that some resources, which you may be able to find in their churches, may be willing to help, even if you intend to continue being a Muslim.  They may also have some experience dealing with living in the Arabic culture, but not embracing some aspects of the culture (such as being predominantly Muslim).  That might be helpful if you're trying to leave when the area's culture would suggest doing otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I won't elaborate further since that very important subject is off-topic, mostly unrelated to the core question that you asked here.  It is a very worthy discussion, but a separate discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20100" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T17:46:38.300" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-28T19:07:23.010" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You mentioned you are at University.... and have some English skills (and I gather some computer skills). So that is a great advantage. You already have some employable skills. A completed degree could also help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you have to look to finish your degree then line-up a job in a different city and then off you go. Perhaps in this context you could leave with his blessing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully you are in your final year of Uni.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21077" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T19:07:23.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24186" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-28T19:31:55.257" Score="4" ViewCount="1070" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two teenage daughters get along really well. My new husband has four children. My daughters have been the ones to suffer, as we have moved school and house. They get along well with their step-father, but fight with most of their step-siblings. Fights include shouting. calling each other names, and even hitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried family bonding trips and days out but they all just fight. It's usually my two against his oldest three. I understand it's hard for my daughters to accept a new school, house, and family, but I want this to work out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to punish his children when they misbehave, which is most of the time (the two girls are constantly throwing tantrums), and he won't punish my daughters either. This is frustrating for my daughters, but I want his children to like me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I make them stop fighting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20983" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T02:18:12.847" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:03:41.640" Title="How can I help children in a blended family get along?" Tags="|step-parents|bonding|blended-family|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24187" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-28T20:31:54.130" Score="6" ViewCount="1606" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please read my story: a sad mom and let me know what your suggestion is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a 23 year old son. Since 7 years ago, my husband and I have had lots of problems with our son.  He was living with us until a year ago, during those years he caused a lot of stress and problems for us. Everyday he yielded, and used very bad words with his parents, when one day he punched his dad, we asked him to leave us because it was dangerous living with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We helped him to rent an apartment and find a job. Although he did bother us from time to time in past year ago, however my husband and me were happy that we could live without situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last night I invited him for dinner in our home, and again he was trying to fight with his dad, when he saw my husband was relaxed and not wanting to fight with him, he asked me to go to grocery shopping. My son and I went to grocery shopping, when I was driving and he used bad words when speaking to me, and punched to my head many times, I wanted to call 911 , but he said I will kill you later if you do it. I called my husband to help me, my husband tried to find us on the road , but he couldn't..... we returned home , my son tried again to fight with his dad. My husband asked him to calm down ... after two hours he was calmed down ... he said &quot;I am alone in apartment and want to live with my mom and dad again&quot;... my husband didn't accept ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know he has bad depression, and asked him many times to visit a consultant, but he has not agreed. He is addicted to marijuana and uses it everyday. We asked police before, but they said we can help you if something happened !! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can me and my husband do? I am writing this when I am crying... and asking God to help us.... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7124" LastEditorUserId="24900" LastEditDate="2017-09-22T00:16:27.263" LastActivityDate="2018-12-08T16:00:00.047" Title="Story of a sad mom - adult son who is violent and suffering from depression" Tags="|adult-child|violence|depression|addiction|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24188" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-28T20:46:19.447" Score="130" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any person you trust you can talk to? Can this person shelter you or provide you with shelter elsewhere?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't go to Churches: You surely know about the problems caused by convert girls in the past. A church might very well send you back to avoid the dilemma (and the angry mob that your father will have no problem in mobilising).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Which brings us to, Don't go to Mosques: Unless you know the people personally, which given Islamic tradition is not the case for you as a woman, don't trust them. They might be good people, but they might consider what you do disobedience to the parent. You don't want to take that risk.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Instead, check out nearby organisations that are involved with women's rights. A friend active in that regard suggested &lt;a href=&quot;http://etijah.org/arabic/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://etijah.org/arabic/&lt;/a&gt; to me. It concerns itself with forced marriages and combatting prevention of girls to study. Could you contact them?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Seek out similar organisations in your vicinity. Speak with them. They surely have experience in that regard.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I read the post to my father and here's what he has to say (unaltered): What about your uncles or aunts? Anyone you can confide in, who could find you a suitable husband?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I found this &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.facebook.com/Femi-Hub-780813025375003/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;facebook page&lt;/a&gt; which concerns iteself with freedom of travel for Egyptian women. I contacted them and they seem eager to assist.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the most I can suggest with the information you gave. I urge you not to give out too much information. I never been to parenting.SE but this post is in the hot questions bar for all sites on the Stack Exchange network. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best. If you are really desperate, create a throw-away email account and message me at the email address in the comments with a proof that shows that the parenting.SE account is yours. If you are fine with disclosing what governorate you are in, I can ask acquaintances what organisations are there (I am egyptian myself although living abroad at the moment) or try to help otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know the last suggestion isn't fit for the Q&amp;amp;A format, but neither is the question and I think in this case it's appropriate to offer this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21081" LastEditorUserId="21081" LastEditDate="2016-05-22T22:15:48.367" LastActivityDate="2016-05-22T22:15:48.367" CommentCount="11" CommunityOwnedDate="2022-02-14T01:07:22.540" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-28T22:35:58.277" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;What your father is doing is wrong. The role of a man in a family is to serve his wife and protect his family. For a man to hit a woman is inexcusable. In the West, we teach this as fact. A man who strikes a woman is beneath contempt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you are religious, but I'm going to go out on a limb. The one organisation I know of who are actively doing work with women and girls in Egypt is the Christian Church. You won't be expected to abandon your religion, but if you can get to an evangelical church I'm pretty certain they will be able to help emotionally and practically, and, if necessary, they will be able to protect you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are religious as you say, you will know that you were made for a purpose. Don't give up. There is a reason for your life that you don't know yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2016-02-28T22:35:58.277" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21087" CreationDate="2016-02-29T00:44:31.447" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/big-story-your-discipline-style&quot;&gt;BabyCenter's &quot;What's Your Discipline Style?&quot;&lt;/a&gt; includes a downloadable chart of different discipline philosophies (Positive Discipline, Gentle Discipline, Boundary-Based Discipline, Emotion-Coaching, and Behavior-Modification) with a summary of each one's primary emphasis, techniques, and an example of how it works. At the end of each column are the names of 1-3 books on that particular school of thought so you can learn more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's another article that may broaden your scope: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babble.com/baby/child-rearing-around-world/&quot;&gt;&quot;How They Do It: An Overview of Child Rearing around the World.&quot;&lt;/a&gt; It gives a brief overview of discipline beliefs and strategies in China, Japan, India, Egypt and Africa, as well as Native American, Latino and European cultures. Here are some excerpts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;China&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Discipline practices in China are based on ancient Confucian ethics&#xA;  and the belief that infants arrive from the gods with an inherently&#xA;  good nature that is to be respected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;India&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Indian moms lovingly massage their babies daily and carry them close&#xA;  to their bodies. Co-sleeping during the early years is another&#xA;  characteristic of the close mother-infant relationship.... [However],&#xA;  discipline is often strict and children are taught to obey their&#xA;  parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Africa&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In [Mali, Nigeria, Namibia, Zambia, and Malawi], not only are children&#xA;  highly valued, but being childless is considered the worst fate that&#xA;  can befall a man and a woman. The entire community considers it their&#xA;  responsibility to see that each child, a “gift of God,” is raised&#xA;  appropriately. Elders transmit their cultural values and teach the&#xA;  young, and discipline centers around the values that children are&#xA;  expected to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21090" LastEditorUserId="21090" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T18:36:05.777" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T18:36:05.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24191" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-29T04:26:37.417" Score="1" ViewCount="196" Body="&lt;p&gt;When do I need to start cleaning my baby's tongue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Birth? Non-breast-milk? Solid food? Teething? Post-teething?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18914" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T05:58:00.783" Title="When do I need to start cleaning my baby's tongue?" Tags="|brushing-teeth|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24191" CreationDate="2016-02-29T05:58:00.783" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You wouldn't normally &quot;need&quot; to clean your baby's tongue. Unlike with their teeth, plaque doesn't usually cause any harm on the tongue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby's breath smells fine, then you don't need to worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children never really get much plaque on their tongues. Our daughter is 6, and we've never found it necessary to clean her tongue. However with our son, we started occasionally cleaning it post 3 years, as we noticed his breath sometimes had a slight odor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing to do is avoid sugary food as much as possible, and make sure your baby gets plenty of water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you to try to clean your child's tongue, be very careful not to go back too far. It shouldn't be causing any discomfort to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T05:58:00.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24187" CreationDate="2016-02-29T06:05:46.443" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your situation is indeed very sad. You have tried to do everything right by your son, unfortunately he has made very poor choices, which have negatively impacted everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think all you can really do is try to keep yourselves safe, and never be in a situation where either of you is alone with him. Unfortunately a drug users word cannot be trusted. He may tell you that he has changed, and will not be violent, but while he is still using drugs he has little control over his moods or behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to tell him he can only live with you again, if he can get off (and stay off) the drugs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T06:05:46.443" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24194" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21509" CreationDate="2016-02-29T06:43:41.690" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't do your sons work. Yes he may fail his studies because of it, but this will most likely happen eventually anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He needs to take responsibility for his own life, and this will not happen if he knows you're always there to help him out of whatever trouble he's got himself into.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also if he gets in trouble with the law again, don't hire an attorney for him, or pay his bail money. He's an adult, and needs to understand that if he makes mistakes, he has to to deal with the consequences himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T06:43:41.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24195" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24187" CreationDate="2016-02-29T08:47:06.743" Score="19" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;when I was driving and he used bad words to me and punched to my head many time, I wanted to call 911 , but he said I will kill you later if you do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We asked police before , but they said we can help you if something happened !!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You were assaulted. Call them. The fact that he is your son only matters as far as you are responsible for him. If he will hit &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; like that, he will hit anyone. The situation has moved beyond your control, and you need to take steps to treat him like an adult who has done this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call the police; and then &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; should consult an therapist specialising in victims of abuse. You need to talk to someone over the long term who can help you with what you're going through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T08:47:06.743" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-02-29T10:11:07.380" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm across the border from you in Israel. I happen to know a Beduin girl who was in a very similar situation to you, and she claimed that it is very very common. I lost touch with her when she did the only thing that she could do to leave her father: &lt;strong&gt;marry&lt;/strong&gt;. She married the first man she could, I believe she is his second wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that the suggestion to marry might be no less frightening than the proposition of staying with your family. However, you should know that despite what television shows, lots of people are not happy even in Western-style marriages. &lt;strong&gt;When faced with multiple bad options, choose the least-bad option&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you'd like to talk leave your number &lt;a href=&quot;http://dotancohen.com/eng/message.php&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. A call from Israel will show on Egyptian phones as an unidentified number, so someone looking at your phone won't know from where the call came (though of course the Mukhabarat would know, if that is a concern for you, but they already know that you posted here).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T10:11:07.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14554" CreationDate="2016-02-29T14:00:48.437" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think kids should not have bedtimes because it's a good way to show your parents you're responsible enough to wake up in time and go to bed at a reasonable time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe they have some late homework or some studying, I understand sometimes kids might stay up texting or on their phones or something like that or even TV, but if they don't wake up in time for school, it's on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But for kids that have to drive or bike, skateboard, scooter, I recommend going to bed early so you're awake when you're riding, driving!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21107" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-09-15T17:56:35.223" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T17:56:35.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24186" CreationDate="2016-02-29T17:15:25.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tough one and I hate to say it, but you might be in for a rough ride, I hope you and your spouse have a strong relationship. You are dealing with a house full of adolescents &amp;amp; hormones. YIKES!!! &#xA;I would say that the first thing that needs to happen is a set down with the entire family aka The Family Meeting. I find that it is best if my husband (the step father of my teens) and I set down and talk first. We make a plan;&#xA;-What is the goal of the conversation?&#xA;-How will we handle and &quot;tantrums&quot; that might occur during the family meeting?&#xA;-When is the best time/place to do this? (I would suggest someplace neutral when the kids are all fed and rested) Not in the heat of the moment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also wonder, have you both asked the children what they like and don't like about the situation? It's hard on kids when they feel like they have no say, they're just being pull/pushed around with no voice to how they feel. Maybe some of the things can't be changed or adjusted but at least they will know they're being heard. This is a great opportunity for your children to get a lesson in conversation and the skill of expressing how they feel in a healthy way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start by stating the goal of the meeting and the rules, keep it simple, you can't tackle it all in one set down, this will take time: One speaker at a time, no yelling and no name calling. If someone needs to get up and walk away, let them. Let your children know that it hurts you and their father to see them so upset. Then let each one take a turn talking about how they feel about the current family situation. Keep any blaming or harassing in check. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think a primary goal of your family meeting might be to first put a stop to the hitting/yelling/name calling. This is unacceptable and unnecessary. Once we start yelling/hitting/name calling then we stop listening and walls are built.  It is much easier to listen and hear someone when they're calm and this is also a great lesson for your children to learn right now. You can't go to work and start freaking out every time your upset can you? No. They need to learn this and they are ALL at an age where they can learn this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't force them to love one another, you can't force them to even like one another and I hate to tell you this, but as a step parent...don't get too hung up on them liking you all the time either. It's the great unkind reality of step parenting. However, over time and with trust, you can become their teacher and friend. Someone they respect and look up to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You discipline your children and he needs to discipline his children. Your roles for one another are to be supportive and back one another up (and if you don't, never disagree in front of the kids, they will take advantage of this eventually) Set down together and pre-set consequences together so that you're both on the same page and showing a strong, consistent front when dealing with the kids. They need to know that you are a team, you are partners and you will NOT be pitted against one another. When my husband and I discipline the kids we discuss it privately then implement the consequences together. That way everyone knows what is going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IDEA: When my boys were in their early teens I got so tired of the fighting I just punished them both. I didn't care who started it any more, they were both feeding into it so they both got consequences. It didn't take long for them to get a clue and stop. They both learned to just walk away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest getting some books and doing some research on blended families. It's a trial and error thing but keep working at it and find what works for your family. You can't fix this with family trips and forced socializing. The issue is poor communication. If you can't communicate well with the people you're living with, you're going to have issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that some of this helps and remember this is just an offer of advise from my own personal experience, I'm not at expert. We still have rough days and it's never perfect. It's so hard to blend a family, especially at the ages you are dealing with because they're all going through their own changes inside and out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T17:15:25.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24186" CreationDate="2016-02-29T18:18:07.037" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that you and your partner's attitude towards each others' kids is actually fostering discord here.  If you really want to become one family, treat everyone like they are part of one family, not two families who happen to live together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I mean by this is that when you refuse to punish your partner's kids (and vise-versa), is that you are actively driving the kids to not like each other.  Anyone who has ever had kids has heard the cries of &quot;it's not FAIR!!&quot;.  By punishing your own kids and not your partner's, you are passively saying to your child &quot;you can't do that, but so-and-so can get away with it.&quot;  And that breeds resentment among the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also makes it harder for the other children to learn to like and respect you.  Children crave direction and love (even if they won't admit it).  When you are totally permissive, you don't show that you care what they do or what happens to them.  You show that you don't care.  And that doesn't help to bring a family together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you and your partner need to get on the same page.  You need to come up with house rules for everyone.  Make sure you are both willing to back each other up in enforcing these rules no matter who breaks them.  You don't want to get into a situation where the kids pull the &quot;you're not my mom, you can't tell me what to do&quot; card.  What you say should have just as much force as if your partner said it, because he should be backing you up.  This is especially important in blended families because kids already try to play one parent against another in traditional families.  They will exploit that even more if you give them the ammo to do it.  Don't let them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you two are united and ready, bring in the children to talk about what is going on.  Hear their concerns and try to accommodate where possible.  This might involve some discussion all together and some one on one time.  Make sure they each know that &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; of you love them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T18:18:07.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24202" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-29T19:30:50.203" Score="3" ViewCount="1163" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am recently divorced and have full custody of our six children. My husband was violent with the children and I'm not sure how to discipline them without using violence. My children range in age from 3 to 10 and are all average behaved children, but two have been diagnosed with ADHD and dealing with them is an additional challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what discipline techniques are appropriate for what age group -- the 'naughty step' doesn't go down well with my 10-year-olds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20983" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T02:30:41.247" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T17:59:08.080" Title="How to be a good Single Mom with a large family and dealing with ADHD" Tags="|discipline|single-parent|adhd|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24203" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-02-29T19:52:52.943" Score="0" ViewCount="421" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't afford to send all my four children to private school. I could possibly afford 3 maximum, but two is more affordable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me and my husband have had to recently switch jobs and we are not getting as much income as we used to. Our three eldest daughters have been at private school their whole lives. Our youngest is starting school in September; we would really like to send her private like her sisters but this will not be possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would it be better to keep the smarter children in private, or the ones who find it more challenging? (I am not in anyway undermining the public schools, but the one I would have to send my daughter to is not as good as their current school.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20983" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T02:33:42.497" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T02:33:42.497" Title="Can I send some of my children to public school and some to private?" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24204" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24203" CreationDate="2016-02-29T20:24:08.820" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's certainly possible to do so.  It's hard to say what the impact of doing so would be; it may be confusing to your youngest daughter why she's not going to the same school as her elder siblings, and she may resent it later in life if she's not doing as well as they are.  But equally, she may prefer the public school, particularly if she makes close friends there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One possibility is to use public school for K-8, and then send her to a private high school.  By the time she's in high school, there will be only one child in private schools left, and the eldest will have graduated (undergraduate) college; the second will be close to doing so as well.  Particularly if the elder two are able to fund college in part from scholarships, it's very possible you may be able to pay for private school by that point - which as you point out can be the most important part.  Of course, you'll be separating her from her friends by doing so (unless they also go to private high school).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility is to look into scholarships; it's possible your private school(s) may be able to give her a scholarship to help offset the costs, particularly with so many children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T20:24:08.820" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24202" CreationDate="2016-02-29T21:28:18.717" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just wanted to thank you for breaking up the circle of violence and asking for help - that seems like a hard step!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll add few more bits I can think of, but I'd be glad if someone with more experience joined in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First the ADHD - it seems to me that this diagnosis is quite overused. Circumstances might involve:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;people are having children at older age nowadays, and they naturally often don't have energy to be a partner-at-play with the child - the child is smarter and faster :). However, people perceive themselves to be OK, hence the &lt;code&gt;weirdo ADHD&lt;/code&gt; label goes to the unlucky child.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;advent of sweet drinks - my opinion is that children should grow up without sweet drinks just as they grow up without cocaine or nicotine (my 3.5yo does). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A big part of parenting is energy management - letting child rest when she wants to, and letting her run when she has a lot of energy. I see lot of parents around feeding their children sugary drinks, while they are strapped into stroller - no wonder they become torpedoes the moment they get out, they are bursting with energy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, no kid overdosed in sugar? Great!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then the basics: ensure everyone is well rested, fed, have enough water (I can see children around who are thirsty, because their parents only remember to give them water/tea when they themselves are thirsty; kids get thirsty faster than adults and thirsty kids become moody) and enough attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone happy? Great. The next step is both simple and hard: golden rule. Do onto others as you would have them do. This means no violence and lot of communication and self-awareness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why self-awareness? I often see parents in the bus or metro, who are using force on their children routinely without realising. And there is huge difference between:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;grabbing a child by the wrist vs. extending your hand and letting them hold (&amp;amp; leave) whenever they want&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;strapping them into stroller (stroller as a prison) vs. letting them climb in and out of stroller when they want to (stroller as a vehicle)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;telling them manipulative lies that make them fear the unknown (&lt;em&gt;'just keep doing this and huge bogeyman will take you'&lt;/em&gt;) vs. telling them why you don't like them to do something (&lt;em&gt;'I don't like when the cupboard stays open after we clean the dishes'&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;making them follow parent's busy schedule vs. accepting their will and taking time to let them see the fountain or feed the birds&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Great resource is the book &lt;a href=&quot;http://blog.codinghorror.com/how-to-talk-to-human-beings/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How to Talk So Kids Will Listen &amp;amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk&lt;/a&gt; - it shows (among other great things) how to reframe the problem, so that it's you and child together against the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I unfortunately witness quite a few parents every week who miss the self awareness to do this, and, as a result, problems divide them from their children instead of strengthening the bond (&lt;em&gt;'look at yourself! what have you done!'&lt;/em&gt; vs. &lt;em&gt;'oh, the ice cream is on the floor - how can we clean this together?'&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second book I'd like to recommend is &lt;code&gt;Respect and be respected&lt;/code&gt; - this is a fundamental book of our family. Unfortunately, it might be hard to get as it's an english translation of a great Czech book, but the key concepts are very well &lt;a href=&quot;https://bible.org/seriespage/29-book-review-respect-and-be-respected&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;summarized in here&lt;/a&gt; (the book has nothing to do with the Bible).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last, be a great example, as you'll realise that children are firstly the mirror of yourself and their environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, there - to me, it seems that 95 % of problems (with both children and adults we found :)) can be easily solved with energy management, providing for basic needs, paying attention (listening to children), and learning to communicate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope I helped a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7748" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T21:28:18.717" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24203" CreationDate="2016-02-29T23:07:32.280" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it should be all or none. Otherwise it will be perceived as favoritism by your children. As well as considering how it may impact them academically, you need to consider how it may impact their relationships with each other.&#xA;It is entirely possible to get a very good education at a public school. However it may require a bit more dedication from the children, and more after-school guidance and encouragement from you and your husband.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-02-29T23:07:32.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15133" CreationDate="2016-03-01T00:50:23.513" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't need to contact the police directly yourself. Talk to a teacher, or student counselor, and tell them what's happening. They will help you with the next steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On your own you cannot stop your father from beating you, and anything you try will make it worse. In this situation you need outside help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about the outcome for your father. This is not your problem. Worry only about doing what you need to do to protect yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T00:50:23.513" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24210" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-01T02:05:09.413" Score="2" ViewCount="8915" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old daughter throws extremely bad tantrums that last at least 30 minutes. She's pulling her hair, throwing things, hitting, kicking, biting people, hiding under things. They happen about 1-3 times a day. Is this normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21116" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-17T12:16:36.213" LastActivityDate="2019-05-21T12:18:28.613" Title="Is it normal for a 2-year-old girl to throw 30 min tantrums several times per day?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|tantrums|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24211" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2016-03-01T02:21:14.460" Score="0" Body="" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T02:21:14.460" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T02:21:14.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24212" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2016-03-01T02:21:14.460" Score="0" Body="When parents with existing children from previous relationships remarry new partners, this creates a &quot;blended&quot; family of step-children and biological children." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T02:21:14.460" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T02:21:14.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-03-01T02:49:56.493" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your situation is a difficult one.   But be strong and persevere.   Every step you make, do it wisely and carefully after talking to various trusted people.   &lt;strong&gt;You will definitely need friends, or if not, go to some humanitarian organization&lt;/strong&gt; (search via web, and you can zoom down easily to places near your place)  for help.   &lt;strong&gt;Seek a few organizations and people simultaneously for help - you never know who will provide the best solution,&lt;/strong&gt; or some may harber evil intentions.    Many people will take advantage of people in need to exploit them - especially for purpose of human trafficking &lt;strong&gt;(eg, promising you a place to stay, a job, and then you end up as a prostitute).&lt;/strong&gt;   &lt;strong&gt;Always be prepare to call someone for help&lt;/strong&gt;.   Get ready their number - not necessarily it is the police, as many stories (even in US) in youtube have shown - police might be the one exploiting you instead.   Nonetheless, the attention you get, the more help will come to you, and more likelihood of genuine help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, instead of finding help yourself, you can always broadcast for help - be it facebook, youtube, or any social media.   Provide some means of communicating back to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;One small step each time&lt;/strong&gt; is my best advice.   Many of the advices given by others (marry off to another person, lock-picking etc) are &lt;strong&gt;quite unrealistic and requires great risks to be taken&lt;/strong&gt;.   Many refugees have taken great risks to get into boats they have got no experience, and then either later died in the seastorms due to poor structures of the boat, or due to evil intentions of the boat owner to trick their money.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Religion fanaticism, past cultures/practice, male dominance/chauvinism is really a &lt;strong&gt;sad features of certain parts of the human civilisation that never seemed to go away&lt;/strong&gt;, and going along with the waves seemed the best option at times, until the times when you can be independent enough to step into other human societies which can provide better equitable treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17168" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T02:49:56.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24215" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-01T03:26:52.503" Score="10" ViewCount="383" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (11) chose this poem to take to school and present to her class:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sometimes when I'm alone I cry because I'm on my own&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  The tears are bitter and warm&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  They flow with life, but take no form, I cry because my heart is torn.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  I find it difficult to carry on. If I had an ear to confide in, I would cry among my treasured friend&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  But who do you know that stops that long, to help another carry on&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  The world moves fast and it would rather pass by&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Than to stop and see what makes one cry, so painful and sad&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  And sometimes I cry and no one cares about why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When her grandparent asked her if she felt like that, she said no, she just liked it. Should I say something to her? If so, what?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21119" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T12:38:09.147" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T12:38:09.147" Title="Should I be concerned about this poem?" Tags="|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24210" CreationDate="2016-03-01T03:51:31.570" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That can be normal - or something like normal. My daughter got to almost three years and I thought I might be escaping the terrible two's, but then she turned and it was very hard dealing her, and the tantrums, and everything else. They say the best advice is to completely ignore the child while they're having a tantrum to teach them that that behavior is not okay. I know that can be hard, but children can learn quickly and will try to find other ways of getting your attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21119" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T03:51:31.570" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24218" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24210" CreationDate="2016-03-01T04:17:50.280" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tantrums are never nice, but this sounds fairly normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I have found sometimes* works, is 'active listening'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This involves acknowledging her feelings, and letting her know that you understand why she is upset. Her reaction (the tantrum) may seem completely unreasonable to a parent, but as far as she's concerned, she has a very good reason to be behaving the way she is. She believes (for whatever reason) that she has been aggrieved in some way, and is reacting in the most appropriate way she knows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This doesn't mean condoning her behavior, or giving in to her, most likely, very unreasonable demands. Rule #1 of tantrums... Never give in. However, often what they are most upset about is really just that they don't feel they're being listened to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the conversation might go something like...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I understand that you're frustrated and upset with me because you wanted a lollipop, and I didn't buy you one.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is acknowledging that she has feelings, and that her feelings matter, and that you are listening to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you're talking to the child, make sure you get down and are talking directly to her, from her level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get her to respond with a &quot;yes&quot;, or a nod of the head, then the tantrum should end soon. The key obstacle is getting them to listen, after that it's usually possible to talk them down, and help them to get their emotions back under control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2019-05-21T12:18:28.613" LastActivityDate="2019-05-21T12:18:28.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24219" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24220" CreationDate="2016-03-01T05:02:25.983" Score="3" ViewCount="465" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a brother who suffers from depression. He is in his late twenties, is unemployed, has almost no social life and lives by himself. Every other weekend for a day, I have him over at my house where I live with my wife and 2 daughters (7 and 3). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a time when he would speak and play with my eldest daughter, but the past few months he has begun to ignore her (he would smile and say 'hello' but that is it). My daughter has asked me why her uncle is different now and I just told her that he prefers to be by himself (not sure how to explain his exact condition to her). He still talks with me though (and she has probably noticed this as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to ask him why his behavior changed because I learned a long time ago not to criticize anything he does (he always assumes that I am blaming him or trying to find fault with him).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So given that he is ignoring her now, is it better to keep him away from the house and my daughter? Should I just meet him outside or go over to his place?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now my daughter seems to have figured out not to expect too much from him and she just plays by herself or with her younger sister when he is around (I play with her also when he leaves).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to take care of my brother but I don't want his presence in the house to harm my daughter in any way. He used to have tantrums but he has gotten that under control the past few years and so far he has never &quot;lost it&quot; in front of my kids (although deep down I have a fear that one day he might).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T05:19:23.347" Title="Should young children be kept away from a depressed relative if the latter ignores them?" Tags="|primary-schooler|social-development|relationships|depression|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24219" CreationDate="2016-03-01T05:10:59.680" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unless your brother is hostile, or sullen, or otherwise behaves inappropriately around your children, I don't think you need to keep him away from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it's healthy for your children to learn how to be around people with all sorts of varying personality types. Not everyone is bright and cheerful, and that's ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very difficult dealing with people with depression, and it is often tempting to simply overlook them, but this certainly isn't good for them. Try to keep talking to your brother, but avoid asking him directly about what's wrong, as he likely won't even know himself, and may get frustrated and annoyed by the question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One word of caution though. Even though I think it's healthy for your children to still be around your brother. Don't let them be around him without another responsible adult. I'm not suggesting that he would harm them or anything else like that, but depressed people have a very insular focus, and this can prevent them from perceiving the needs of others. This makes them poor carers for young children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-03-01T05:19:23.347" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T05:19:23.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24215" CreationDate="2016-03-01T05:26:07.383" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;A person can be moved, or touched by a poem without necessarily sharing the feelings expressed therein.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you need to be concerned if your daughter is otherwise doing fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter is perhaps just a very thoughtful, empathetic type of person. This is a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T05:26:07.383" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8002" CreationDate="2016-03-01T05:44:51.527" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I guess your daughter is now in 2nd grade, so perhaps this is no longer relevant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway what I would suggest...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever amount of time she's allowed to use her iPad, reduce it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;iPads (and electronic screen toys in general) are not good for children, so the less time she uses it the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T05:44:51.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-03-01T12:33:48.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have skimmed the other answers and while &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/24112/7982&quot;&gt;the nurse's answer&lt;/a&gt; is very insightful, (as always, really) I do miss a few points I want to make. With almost everybody else encouraging you to keep pushing your son, I realize I might be the party pooper with these, but that's something I can live with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you write I pieced together the situation as seen by your son as follows: He was having fun with his peers, but you stomped on this. You imposed a set of rules on him which he had to agree to, put him close to your room for easier spying on his routine, are reading his private conversations with others, and try to shy his friends away. You consider him an &lt;em&gt;&quot;inconsiderate little !*&amp;amp;^%$&quot;&lt;/em&gt; and are ready to &lt;em&gt;&quot;toss him into military school&quot;&lt;/em&gt; to let their drill do what you could not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look at this from his POV. Does this sound like a loving parent to you? It certainly doesn't do so to me, and I doubt it does to him. (Do not get me wrong. I am questioning if it &lt;em&gt;looks&lt;/em&gt; like you do, not if you do. I am fully prepared to assume you love your son.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing I'd do in your situation (I know, I almost always say this, but to me this is might well be the most important thing about parenting) is to ask myself &lt;em&gt;Why?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is he doing things you disapprove of? Why is he drinking and doing drugs? Why did he pick these friends, and not others? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next question would be: &lt;em&gt;What are the consequences&lt;/em&gt;, short- and long-term? (That's already well-covered by the nurse, though, so I won't go into this question.) Does he understand them, and if so, and if they are dire, why wouldn't he care? If a therapist/counselor (as suggested by her) is worth anything, these are is the questions he will inevitably be trying to get answers for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you wrote, it doesn't seem like you have asked these questions. Yet, the answer to &lt;em&gt;why acts my child like this?&lt;/em&gt; is always at the very heart of the answer to &lt;em&gt;how do I change this?&lt;/em&gt; In the end, it's mostly us parents who are responsible for what are children are and, thus, why they act the way they do, so it mostly comes down to us to change something&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-03-01T12:33:48.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24210" CreationDate="2016-03-01T13:00:17.647" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the age where children learn that they cannot have everything they want, but that they can have some of the things they thought they could not have under certain circumstances. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age, the world is big, complicated, and governed by rules they are only beginning to understand. Being unable to talk and reason about it in an abstract way, what's left to them is to find out about these rules by trial and error. For example, children at that age have learned that, when they are upset, their parents will try to comfort them. If there is something they want, but cannot get at, their parents might help them to get it. Of course, their intelligence prompts them to combine these and be upset about not getting something because someone said &quot;no&quot; (for reasons a two year old is unlikely to fully grasp). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, our evolutionary baggage brings abilities like &quot;problem solving by violence&quot;, which is something that needs to be taken to test as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IME, the only way out of that is to never to allow a child to gain something due to violent behavior. That doesn't mean you need to behave &quot;mean&quot; in order to teach this. Quite the opposite, in fact: If possible (depends on the tantrum's severity), you can express your love for her, comfort her, express your understanding that she is upset, be sad with her about it – just never give her a chance to gain anything by throwing a tantrum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, this is easier said than done (and can be way more complicated than written here; e.g., when your girl is upset because she doesn't feel loved enough), but hang in there. The fact that you see no adults behave that way must mean that this &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; get better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As always, remember the parental mantra: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;It's just a phase. It will pass.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7982" LastEditorUserId="7982" LastEditDate="2016-03-07T10:52:40.220" LastActivityDate="2016-03-07T10:52:40.220" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24171" CreationDate="2016-03-01T15:55:09.230" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available role. If you join as a volunteer, you will get much better treatment than if you were conscripted and you might even become an officer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working in this type of environment may help you lose some of your fear of your father and in any case you will not be around him anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-03-10T07:33:28.947" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T07:33:28.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24229" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-02T10:49:55.613" Score="1" ViewCount="357" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 13-month-old nephew has a lot of trouble settling into his sleep. His mother works an early morning shift (4:30am) that causes her to break his sleep cycle so that he can begin to be cared for by myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is usually awake when she drops him off and during the exchange of care giving, he cries hysterically, but understandably so. Once he calms down and prepares for bed with me, he falls asleep. 5 minutes into his sleep, he wakes up crying relentlessly! I try to soothe him but that only seems to make it worse. So he continues to suck on his pacifier until he goes to sleep. If I move in the bed, he wakes up and it all starts over again. I literally cannot move for fear of him crying. Any movement sets him off and this happens every night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has his two front teeth fully grown in as well as one lateral incisor and a first molar breaking through, all on the same side. I'm not sure if this is related but he never cries in relation to teething until the time explained about... &lt;strong&gt;if&lt;/strong&gt; that's even the reason why he's crying at all. As this is &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; night, it's very frustrating to me and I'm sure to the baby as well! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21136" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-11T17:19:37.437" LastActivityDate="2018-10-11T17:19:37.437" Title="My 13-month-old nephew will not sleep through the night and I'm not sure what it could be!" Tags="|toddler|sleep|crying|teething|babysitting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24230" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-03-02T14:26:40.703" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thank you all for your kind words and support. It feels like you are all alone sometimes when you are parenting. There is no way to know sometimes if you are right in what you are doing. I want my son to have every opportunity to succeed in life. I want him to be happy in the choices that he makes. After reading these responses I do feel that I am on the right track. You only get this one chance at this edge to get them going down the right path to give them the best odds at becoming a happy healthy productive human. One commenter made the point that he is blowing off steam to his friends and/or maintaining his social status in his predicament.  I think that is true. I am willing to take the heat now, (to a point with boundaries), knowing that he doesn't actually believe it to be true. To answer one question about the religious freak comment. I am a Christian but do not use religion outright to instruct him. I maintain biblical principals but do not beat him over the head with anything religious. He has actually told me recently that he is an Atheist. Thats just another area of rebellion for him that I choose not to engage. It is just to get a rise out of me. Again, thank you all for your encouragement! I have seen some improvement in the last few weeks and his friends are also warming up to me. It did help when I brought  a bunch of pizzas to his school for him and his friends one day. I am also tuned in a lot more to him. We have a night a week that we just hang out and go do stuff. We are connecting more and more on a daily basis and with the help of his principal and others in the community speaking into his life it has mad the difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20955" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T14:26:40.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24231" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3962" CreationDate="2016-03-02T14:30:45.537" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a daughter that's 3 1/2 and when we go swimming she puts her own head under the water for more than 5mississippi seconds. Because she had shown me that she is comfortable with water and knows how to hold her breath I feel OK to leave her alone for a min or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21138" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T14:30:45.537" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24229" CreationDate="2016-03-02T15:32:32.480" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're in a very difficult situation. My suggestion is to move his bedtime up to 5:30 pm so that he gets adequate sleep before getting up with his mom. Of course that leaves you in a tough predicament. Ideally, your sleep schedule changes as well, or you may be forced to break up your sleep pattern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T15:32:32.480" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24233" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-02T16:18:53.720" Score="1" ViewCount="11969" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sleeping is important, but do students have the right to choose when they do so? Or should they let their parents decide the bedtime? Students above the age 12 need over 8 hours of sleep. It's important or you'll be drowsy, moody, upset angry etc. You will also be refreshed every morning, and have the ability to stay up longer without a proper amount. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a student above that age has the right to choose their own bed time, they can choose when they feel is right when to go to bed or wake up. They may not get this right at first, but students need their own arrangement to take breaks, do school work, and other. Though an arranged bedtime by your parents may be difficult to follow, maybe by 9 p.m. This may not give you enough time to complete the tasks you've been thinking about doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bedtime we can make ourselves may be 10, 11, or a bad time, 12. We'll learn from these mistakes and should be able to choose when we should sleep and wake up. Parents and or guardians shouldn't have to make a time or watch over us when. What do you think? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21140" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-12T18:11:52.950" LastActivityDate="2019-04-09T18:00:46.620" Title="Should middle school students/high school students be able to choose their own bedtime?" Tags="|teen|bedtime|independence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-03-09T10:28:55.630" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24234" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24233" CreationDate="2016-03-02T17:26:37.833" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes. A set bed time is appropriate for teens. There is a reason for set bed times besides just the obvious reason that you want to ensure your child is getting enough sleep. Parents need a break too.  I remember as a teen myself that the older I got the more I hated &quot;bedtime&quot;.  However, now that I myself have children (who are now teen agers) I realized that bedtime is not just for children. Parents need this time to defuse, relax and prepare themselves for the end of the day as well. In addition, sometimes parents don't want to set up all night waiting for their child to go to bed. They're tired too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do believe that it is acceptable for the bedtime schedule to change as a child matures.  My daughter is 16 and her current bedtime during the week is 10pm. This only changes on weekend and summer vacation or if there is a special event going on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides, lets be honest, just because you get sent to bed at a set time doesn't mean that's actually when you fall asleep is it.  The simple fact is that most adults aren't even able to regulate their own bed times but, they are adults and know the consequences. An adult knows that if they stay up late and are tired the next day that doesn't mean they get to be rude/edgy or moody at work.  From my experience, teens do not regulate this behavior well when tired.  They tend to use it as an excuse and it then becomes everyone's problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a teen you are still technically a child and living under your parent/guardians roof.  I would expect that it is up to that parent/guardian to dictate what is best for the household they provide and support. This is just my opinion based off of my own personal experience with children and adults.  We all need quality sleep to function at our optimal levels of performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2019-04-09T18:00:46.620" LastActivityDate="2019-04-09T18:00:46.620" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24202" CreationDate="2016-03-02T17:59:08.080" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Six children all under 10...I don't even know how YOU are still sane. I agree with much of the first answer but wanted to add a little something in hopes that it might round things out a bit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 14...it is not a complicated process. Now that he is 18 we have realized that it is probably NOT ADHD but the result of having been regularly physically, verbally and emotionally abused by his paternal father.  Regardless of DHS involvement, counseling and coaching his father never seemed able to discipline him without violence of some sort. He sees nothing wrong with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To address you question regarding discipline techniques.  You have 6 children of different ages, so no, using the same technique is not going to work it just isn't realistic.  Each individual child needs discipline based not only on age but personality, cognitive level and needs.  You can't set a 10 year old in time out because he/she is much to old to be treated like a 3 year old. It just won't work and it will most likely create more stress for all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Observe all 6 of your children and choose non-physical consequences that relate to them as individuals.  I would also suggest that for each child over the age of 2 you set down and ask them why.  Why are they doing or not doing what they are choosing to do?  Why do they think it is okay to behave that way? Do they know how it makes you/others feel? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also love the comment regarding self awareness and 100% agree with this statement as well. Are you reacting or responding to their behavior?  Are you instantly upset and setting out punishments or do you stop, step back and take a moment to respond with calmness or do you react with anger?  For some reason so many parents seem to think that punishments need to come instantly...I'm not sure why.  It is much better to take some time, look at the situation then address it when YOU and they are ready and rational. Choose time and place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I heard this great saying once, I can't recall who it was from, but it stuck with me. &quot;Punish in private, praise in public&quot;.  Humiliation as a form of punishment is never okay and when we punish/yell at or pull/push our children in public, in front of family or friends, we are humiliating them.  How would this make you feel? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel for you having so much on your plate and as a new single parent you are going to be bombarded with so much advice (wanted and unwanted) so many &quot;this is what I would do...&quot; and the never ending questioning of your choices.  But each day is new and each day is an opportunity to start over. Forgive yourself for every step back and move forward.  I know exactly what it is to come from a situation where your spouse had been so cruel to your children and there is a cycle of violence that seems un-ending. But it can change, it's a lot of work, but it can be done. I MUST be done because they are depending on you to show them something different, something better, they need you to stop the cycle and start over.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck and you are in our thoughts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T17:59:08.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24236" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-02T19:46:41.457" Score="1" ViewCount="657" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's a background story to our marriage and our family (it plays a large role)...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got married and had our first child when we were 23.  We then had our 2nd child when we were 26.  We are currently 30 years old and we still have only these two children.  Something worth noting is that my wife never completed her college degree (assume that she hadn't done much or any of it, and it'd be a full credit workload from start to finish.  Nothing carries over), and this has been a very significant goal and dream of hers since day 1 of me knowing her.  And rightfully so, it's something I completely understand and have embraced as &lt;strong&gt;this will happen... eventually&lt;/strong&gt;.  In the beginning of our relationship, the money just wasn't there to send her to school.  And then very shortly after, babies have been a show-stopper for her going to school (she is a stay-at-home mother).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast-forward to today, and our oldest child is now in school and our youngest will be going to school in 2017.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What I see&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the husband of my wife, I finally see us nearing the time for her to go back to school.  We have money, and our youngest is going to be going to school full time starting next calendar year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What she sees&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... she wants to have a third child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, this scares me.  When I say that her going back to school &lt;em&gt;asap&lt;/em&gt; has been a &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; significant thing, I mean very important.  Not just a nice-to-do, but moreso a requirement.  Let's say we get pregnant today, before the future 3rd child went off to school my wife would be 36 years old.  It's one thing to have to wait 7 years, but it's another thing to have to wait a total of 13 years.  Not to mention the additional financial burden of another child, realistically speaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her response is that she is ok now with waiting that extra duration so that we can have another child.  I believe she feels that way now (and has for the past year) but I don't see that as a lasting feeling when we are 33/34 and there is a 2 year old running around with another 3 years before he/she goes off to school.  Her college degree has been that significant in our plans that it doesn't make sense to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then there's another thing... I don't particularly want a 3rd child.  I love my children more than anything in the world, but the truth is that they are a lot of work and I dont' have that same burning desire to have a 3rd child.  It's just me, and it's how I feel.  A little backstory, when we were first dating and newly wed we had plans of having 3+ children.  My wife sometimes likes to remind me of that, but my response is always a resounding &quot;things change&quot; montra.  It's easy to say you want 10 kids when you have none.  You simply don't know what it's like.  I am also a car person, and I used to want 3 old Chevies (a '57, an old '40s truck, and a '67 Chevelle).  I currently own and turn wrenches on an old car.  I love that car more than anything, but there's no way I want to have 2 more in the garage.  When I was a kid, the thought of having 3 old cars was nice but there were many factors that weren't considered (not to mention just the changing tide of human desires).  I'm using the car thing as an analogy, but I think it's as good reflection on desires-past to desires-present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like I'm at a fork in the road with my marriage over this.  On one side, I'm having to try to decipher the future of her desires with an additional child vs. going back to school (sooner than later).  And I'm also wrestling with my inclination/desire to not have a 3rd child.  Don't get me wrong, my 2 children are the absolutely heart and soul of my happiness and life.  They are everything to me.  And I'd be doing a disservice to this question if I didn't say that, if my wife told me she was pregnant tomorrow I would have a fatherly instinct to be happy and excited about it.  But that is different then actively trying to have another child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are things that, in my very limited experience, can break up a marriage.  Maybe I'm just overly fearful, but things like not fulfilling desires of having more children or going to get a college degree can be detrimental.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I truly don't know what to do here, and I would &lt;em&gt;greatly&lt;/em&gt; appreciate any advice you may have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/7735/my-wife-wants-a-4th-baby-but-i-dont&quot;&gt;This is a great example&lt;/a&gt; of a similar situation.  It is worth noting that my wife absolutely sees herself as a stay-at-home mother.  I don't doubt that the fear of our youngest going off to school has her doubting her busy-ness throughout the day.  For what it is worth, I never pushed her to anything.  I tell her that she is fortunate enough (given my single income) to be able to do whatever she wants, whether it is making money with a career, volunteering daily, or anything else.  I tell her that when the kids are in school, that time is a blank canvas for her to paint any which way (school, work, volunteering, hobbies, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing worth mentioning, my wife is relatively hard-headed (aren't we all?).  She gets desires and they aren't easily transferred.  Even with my objective output, she still falls back on &quot;this is my internal drive&quot;.  And she also has the fear of being a 38 year old woman still wanting another child and then biology starts to play a role.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21143" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-03-03T03:08:26.663" Title="The many elements to having another child (Mother and Father not on the same page)" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24236" CreationDate="2016-03-02T21:42:36.300" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I completely understand. My wife and I happen to both be on the same page now after having 2 kids that clearly 3 would just kill us. For one, that's the segue to a minivan and that's appealing to nobody. I got a vasectomy. Totally painless. Covered by insurance. Zero recovery time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, I think your situation may be different. Your wife has wanted to complete her degree as part of a personal goal. You may want her to do so, but ultimately is the degree really a critical component of a happy family? You say you have no money issues and even if she had a degree, it might not make the world of difference one assumes a degree does. Depends on the major, but you know what I mean. Relevance is pretty key too. If she has an interest in computer science, a 37 year old graduate has very little chance to compete in that market where as a librarian degree may actually ignore age or experience. We don't know what she's shooting for. Her career goals may be of the nature that can ignore timing. Even then, there are plenty of ways to make money as a stay at home parent to balance the income if that's partly the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the kids though - Having a third is a huge decision nobody has the right to make for the whole family alone. It resets everything you may have finally been able to forget, like diapers, those kid safe fences, potty training, never getting any sleep at all, car seats, or the number of kids you can fit in the cars you currently have, preschool obligations, or even more grim, the possibilities of being born with disabilities or worse. When you love doing it all, those things may be of no concern, but if they put a toll on you like they did on me, having a third would have been a pretty selfish thing to decide upon. However, you know as well as I do that you would love the third same as the others and when they are there you would never change it. You may even feel awful that you didn't want to have a third. Your kids are awesome and you know you love them. You know they would love their siblings, and you know you would get through the financial things...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But would you get through letting something like this breaking you up? Not saying that's a possibility, but you know how extreme people can get. I can't really elaborate on that issue any more because I'd advise against entertaining such a notion over what ultimately should be a rationally approached subject for everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to consider is that my wife was able to get her masters while working full time. We both worked full time, except I work from home half the time so I can deflect a little of the insanity. She did this when our first was a baby. It made it easier to manage because for the first 8 months or so they really don't do a whole lot. Given the age of your kids, you may be able to have another AND have her get her degree through correspondence courses. Don't forget that student loans tend to be deferred while you're still in school. I gather your kids ages are about 4 - 7 or 5 - 8. somewhere in that range. They're a lot easier and less demanding when they can talk to you (at least mine are) so she might have the ability to focus on school while they occupy themselves or while they're at school, even with a newborn around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't say I have any official advise here but I post this because the same thing came up for us and we made a decision we're both very happy with. We factored in all the same things you seem to have, and my wife is pretty stubborn as well. But in the end, we determined that having 2 is better than 1. Having 3 might be too much to give full attention to everyone and it would limit the ability for us to give the 2 we have the best educations, fantastic vacations, holidays, birthday parties, play dates, cars later... hah... and even further down the road, property to inherit. We knew we would get by either way, but we didn't want to break up what appears to currently be a sure thing. So I got chopped and I no longer live in total panic that the gates will come back and diaper genies, minivans, and whatever else comes with the whole deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd breathe on it a little and talk it over. It's possible to do both technically. It may not be ideal, but it is possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, our second was born with complications. They cost us thousands, but she's fine now. We came close, and knowing that now definitely helped us decide if we were willing to risk it not going so well the next time around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T21:42:36.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24236" CreationDate="2016-03-02T22:47:43.747" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your question it is unclear whether your wife still wants a degree. You say her desire is to be a SAHM - does she really still want the degree at all?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, iff her first priority is to be a SAHM, and a college degree is more along the purpose of self-fulfillment than a desire to have a career, it truly doesn't matter to wait another 5 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like the crux of the issue is that you no longer agree on the size of your family. &lt;strong&gt;Remove the other things, and get to agreement here&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the process, look at other things, of course- like the ability to go to school, but don't make it about that primarily. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T22:47:43.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24236" CreationDate="2016-03-02T22:48:07.320" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, remove the study factor from the equation. If this is no longer a priority for her, then that's up to her. If she wants to have another baby, you're not going to convince her that she really wants to go back to study instead. The real issue here is that you don't want another child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds as though she has always been upfront with you about how many children she wanted, and you had previously agreed to this. To simply say now, &quot;things change&quot; is quite unfair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a big decision that you need to make as a couple, but just don't try to tell yourself that you're apposed to it out of concern for her study plans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One further thing I want to add...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The apprehension and stress you're feeling now will vanish as soon as you look in your new baby's eyes. However if she wants another baby, and you don't allow it, this is a regret she will carry with her for the rest of her life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really believe in a situation like this, unless there is an extremely good reason not to, you should defer to her opinion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-03-02T23:10:28.273" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T23:10:28.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23471" CreationDate="2016-03-02T23:15:08.740" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I scratched my head with this as well. I take it to mean parent sitting with child upright in their arms with child's head nestled into parent's neck or shoulder (to block out visual stimuli). I always struggled with this because after about 30 seconds, baby would start crying, so started shh-patting him on my shoulder... Which elongated everything.&#xA;Tonight, when Max started crying while we sat, I just held him... No cuddles, no shifting, no patting, nothing... I just held him to me firmly. It broke my heart. After about 5 minutes (or what felt like forever), he stopped crying. I settled him in his cot with a kiss (and damp eyes), and he babbled and waved for a bit, and then went to sleep.&#xA;The way the sit stage is written is so ambiguous. Baby sleep guide elaborates on it a bit, which is where I got my interpretation from (author says instead of shh patting in the sit stage, its better to let them cry- &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/07/four-s-wind-down-ritual.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/07/four-s-wind-down-ritual.html&lt;/a&gt;). I might be wrong. However, I'm hoping that I'm not and that the tears during the sit stage lessen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21148" LastActivityDate="2016-03-02T23:15:08.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24236" CreationDate="2016-03-03T03:08:26.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I strongly feel as though this question is seeking relationship advice more than parenting advice but, since others have answered and moderators have graciously allowed this question to stay, here are my thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, the practical stuff:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The difference between 2 and 3 kids is, in my experience, huge. Being outnumbered is challenging. Kids have a tendency to 1) run in opposite directions and 2) take sides/gang up on each other. These two factors are difficult to cope with but, it can be done.  This is something to consider, for both of you. Just remember though that it's not an impossible challenge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't need a minivan to have three kids!! Gosh, if I had a dollar for every smirky minivan comment I've gotten since I've had 3 kids...There are these other vehicles called SUV's that also seat more than 4 people and all their stuff. You also do not need a bigger house. There are only two genders, so no matter what mix of each you've already got, there is always the option to share a room. In fact, the only thing you'll need more of is food and maybe some clothes. And diapers of course. But, in my experience, our expenses did but increase dramatically when our third came along, and we had plenty of room in our crossover SUV for the third kiddo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, the less practical stuff:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having kids in general is terrifying, overwhelming, stressful, wonderful, enriching, and entertaining (at least) With every kid we have, we learn more about the world and ourselves. Our capacity to love increases, as well as our opportunity to be loved. A person with x kids does not split love x ways, he has x times as much.  To me, this is the most important factor to consider. When I look around the world and see true happiness, it is because of love, not because of college degrees, big houses, toys, cars, or other stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize that the above paragraph is very warm and fuzzy, but it's true. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a brief account of the journey I've been on for the last decade+ from which I hope you gain some insight:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had my first child at 24, unmarried, with no intention of ever having kids at all. The father didn't want the baby and pushed for termination. I couldn't do it. He's now gone and I have an 11yo boy. I have no regrets. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I met a man a few years later (when my son was 2) who claimed to want 5 kids. I jokingly replied &quot;I hope you and whoever she is that agrees to that much happiness.&quot; Because I didn't want anymore kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A year after we married I agreed to have another baby. My husband really wanted it, and I loved him so much I was willing to put my fears and apprehensions aside. (My first pregnancy nearly killed me-I had severe preeclampsia and developed a heart condition.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my 2nd boy was a little over a year old I got pregnant again by accident. At this point, I was pursuing my dream of going to law school by working on my undergrad degree while also working full time. I stayed in school right up until a month before delivery. However, I will admit, I was very unhappy about the timing of the pregnancy and felt a lot of resentment that my plans were being derailed. My husband had given up his 5 kid fantasy and was as dedicated to my goal as I was. I felt like the universe was conspiring against us, against me. In some ways our situation was very much like yours-in the sense that there is a goal that seems unachievable when another child is factored in. Btw- I am aware, and have been told, that my attitude was shameful. How could I resent a baby? I am not ashamed; I had my reasons. They were kind of selfish, but I'm only human. There is a lesson to be learned by my admission, so I'm willing to air &quot;my dirty laundry.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After my 3rd son was born, I was very overwhelmed. My son was difficult-cried all the time and never slept for more than an hour. (He still doesn't sleep through the night regularly). But however much resentment I had felt during my pregnancy, it was transformed into fierce love for this miserable, wretched crying baby that was a &lt;em&gt;gift&lt;/em&gt; from the universe; a gift I never asked for and at times (before he was born) felt was a curse. That is the lesson I learned. That in return for sacrifice we get more than we gave up...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Almost 4 years later, I regret nothing. I finished my undergrad degree (in the top 5% of my class, while working full time.) I came to the realization that I don't want to go to law school after all. I am happy with the career I have and the life I have. I love all my boys. I truly believe that the path I gave up-the fast lane to law school- was not right one any way. I believe I am much happier where I am than where I would have been. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was counting down the months until I would get the half of my paycheck that goes towards childcare back until...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband confessed over the summer that he wanted another baby. I was not interested AT ALL because I was very happy with everything. I was surprised by his desire too, since he was also looking forward to the extra income we'd have once our nanny was reduced to part time (money being way more important/worrisome for him). I had such a hard time with our third (due to his personality, and in part to my being alone w/the three-my husband did not take ANY time off of work to help me get settled in the post partum time) that I had serious reservations about going down that road again. I am also past 30 now, and am at a point in my career where time off is more difficult to arrange and recover from. We had plans to start traveling. Despite all of this, despite my protests, my husband's feelings did not change, and for each obstacle of mine, he had a solution.  I am currently pregnant with our 4th child because I realized, as I did with my second, that I love him so much that I am willing to do anything for him-make any sacrifice. I wouldn't be able to enjoy my career, my kids, my other half of my paycheck, without a happy husband by my side. And I know from experience that whatever reservations I have now (which I still have, believe me-I do not enjoy being inhabited by the parasite known as the human fetus) will disappear once I have the baby in my arms, the toddler on my knee, the kindergartener holding my hand...and that it will be replaced by love. I am sure that my sacrifice will not go unrewarded. And, right off the bat, I know we won't be having this situation again because in return for my agreeing to be pregnant again and give up a summer of driving my NEW Mustang (a graduation gift this time), he will get a vasectomy after the baby is born. He also agreed to take a full 4 week paternity leave this time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing that stands out the most to me in your post is that you say you know you will love your child. You obviously care very much about your wife too since you have held onto her dream of going to school so closely as if it were your own. You have your answer right there: if you love your wife, and you know you'll love another child (even if it is not your plan/desire) then what's the harm? It appears as though the disagreement over the not having the child is more dangerous and heartbreaking than having it. What's the worst that could happen? Your wife is happy and you have one more kid to love? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I compromised when discussing our fourth baby. Have you and your wife discussed any compromises? What would alleviate your fears/concerns/reservations? If she is serious about this baby and your marriage she will want to make it work, not just get her way. And the same goes for you. What compromise would you be willing to make if she gives up her dream of a big family? In my opinion, compromise is the secret to a successful partnership. Also, patience. The answer to this question doesn't need to come this week. I DO understand that there is a clock ticking, since you are both over 30, but still, 6 months or a year won't hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think it over. Talk it over some more. Listen some more.  Let your heart have a say. And, read some of the questions and answers on this site pertaining to life with three kids so you can gain some insight from &quot;the trenches.&quot; It's not so bad down here. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2016-03-03T03:08:26.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24242" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-03T15:52:29.947" Score="3" ViewCount="803" Body="&lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago I found my 10-year-old daughter using inappropriate language on her iPad. As it was the first time I caught her swearing, and the message was more in her own defense of another's bullying, I didn't go too hard on her. We do not swear in our home. I let her know it was inappropriate and wouldn't be tolerated in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her time spent on her iPad (which she bought with her own money) has gotten out of control, and her attitude and disrespect towards me has gotten worse. Her marks at school are not good, and she failed her last math test. In response to this I recently cut her screen time to 1 hour a day on week days and 3 hours Saturday, 3 hours Sunday. I also have moved the docking station out of her room and into a family area. So of course now she hates me and says this is not fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That I could deal with. Today I check her iPad and saw more inappropriate language and rudeness to a 15-year-old boy that she doesn't even know. I am so disappointed. I didn't want to strain this mother-daughter relationship further, but feel I must take it away altogether or remove any apps that allow private messages. What should I do? I don't want to alienate her from her friends, have her hate me and be impossible to live with, and be grouchy to her sister, but don't feel I can allow this behavior. Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21154" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-05T14:14:46.583" LastActivityDate="2018-09-05T14:14:46.583" Title="Is it possible to control iPad message language without my 10-year-old daughter hating me?" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|profanity|tablet-computer|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24243" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3769" CreationDate="2016-03-03T15:53:16.690" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots going on here and obviously this is a passionate and hot topic subject.  I would like to give my input based on what I have observed in infants, toddler and grade school children at daycare or after school programs. Here is what I have observed as a care provider for 10 years and a parent for 20:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-You can actually tell which children are watching a lot of television (at any age), playing video games, watching someone play video games and even what level of violence/adult content viewing they are getting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-These are the children that have trouble staying focused, playing well with others and as grade school students a number of them will show inappropriate aggressive/sexual behavior in the class room. It's very disturbing to see btw and not appreciated by their peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-They often seem unable to function without a screen on or will constantly act out what they have seen.  They are easily board, tend to get into trouble because they can't focus and often find it hard to make friends. The friends they do make tend to be the other kids who are watching the same things and that is their soul common connection. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thinking that an infant isn't picking up on the effects of television is like thinking he/she doesn't pick up on when parents are fighting or stressed. Just because they can't comprehend it the way we do, doesn't mean something isn't happening in that brand new, beautiful, amazing brain. Why risk it?  Won't they get plenty of screen time in the future? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not offer or allow television at my daycare. The State I live in actually regulates the amount of screen time children are supposed to get in child care and pre-school. 30 minutes a day. That includes tv, video games, computer ect. However, it has been my experience that few facilities actually keep to this guide. Teachers will set them in front of the TV so they can do other things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a beautiful thing to watch a child's imagination and mind develop without the distraction of television. There is so much to do!!! And lets be honest, isn't it kind of creepy to see all of these little people walking around with screens in their faces?  Yikes....how can they see this big, beautiful world if it's been reduced to a few inches? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, this is just my observation as a child care provider and mother.  I am not an expert or scientist.  This is just my own experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-03-03T15:53:16.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24242" CreationDate="2016-03-03T18:28:29.693" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I noticed some of the same changes in my son when he discovered the world of on-line community.  Rudeness and inappropriate language is standard issue, and his on-line communication style morphs to match whoever he is interacting with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is quite normal, I think.  Kids want to fit in.  They want to identify with their peers and be accepted by them, and, for better or worse, the way they usually do this it to imitate them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say that just to reassure you that your daughter isn't outside the norm, and that once her teenage years pass she'll hopefully mature into a person whose principles more closely align with the examples that the role models in her life have shown her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That means you've got a tough road ahead of you.  There will be a lot of teenage angst and I hate yous and rebellion and challenges and all the other things that young people do as they move through the inevitable and necessary process of separating from their parents and becoming independent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that it sounds like you are taking the right steps.  If being on the iPad causes your daughter to become rude and disobedient, there must be consequences.  She has violated rules that she knew she ought to be following and you now know you can't trust her to do the right thing without oversight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our patience ran out with our son's attitude, we sat him down and told him that we noticed that when he spent a lot of time on the computer interacting with his friends, he became very sullen and rude.  Therefore, we must assume that the computer time was causing his bad attitude and we needed to take it away.  He assured us that we were wrong and that he could have a good attitude even while keeping his computer time.  We gave him a chance to prove it.  It took less than a day for him to blow it (no big surprise).  We removed the computer from his room for a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After that, we told him that computer time was no longer a right, because he had abused that right, it was now a privilege that he had to earn.  Every hour of computer time had to be earned by doing chores, or getting good grades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend that you sit down and decide exactly what the rules are going to be, and what the consequences of breaking them will be.  Present them to her with calmness and firmness.  How you phrase it is going to be important.  Don't talk about how you feel, or put the spotlight on your actions.  You need to focus the conversion on her actions and attitude, not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't tell her that you are sorry you have to take away her privileges, tell her you are sorry that her interactions with the iPad have caused her to behave in ways that are not acceptable.  Tell her you are sorry that she isn't able to make good decisions, and that you have to find a way to help her make better ones.  And then prepare to batten down your hatches to weather the storm of her disapproval.  Don't make any decisions when you are angry, just stick to whatever you decided to do when your thoughts were unclouded by anger or hurt.  I have found that strong emotions tend to prevent good judgment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last thing...it took a few months, but our son's attitude improved quite a bit.  Now he knows to police himself because there are consequences waiting for him if he falls back into sullenness or disrespect with us.  I don't spend a lot of time monitoring the way he communicates with his peers, a little bad language is kind of expected and I don't want to turn it into a big deal, but I will do &quot;spot checks&quot; and I expect that anything he says or does online is going to be available for me to read.  If the language is bad, he loses the computer for a day.  So he knows that every time he uses bad language he risks the consequences.  It doesn't eliminate his bad language, but at least I hope it makes him think about it more.  He protests that it's &quot;private&quot; but at his age (he's twelve) there is, IMO, no &quot;right to privacy&quot;, especially after it has been demonstrated that he is abusing that privacy which he was previously allowed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-03-03T18:38:46.533" LastActivityDate="2016-03-03T18:38:46.533" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24245" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-03T18:50:09.217" Score="5" ViewCount="1861" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm searching for a research-backed answer to a question about introducing children to difficult emotions in movies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There a seemingly innocent titles like &lt;em&gt;Lion King&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;Bambi&lt;/em&gt;, or &lt;em&gt;Finding Nemo&lt;/em&gt; which, while being otherwise colorful and cheerful, contain very sad scenes (in particular, all three movies depict the death of a parent in one of the first scenes!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know there might be no single good answer suitable to children of all ages, cultures, and all levels of development, but I'd like to know is it better to fast forward/skip these scenes, or watch and discuss them with my kid.&#xA;I'm expecting rules like &quot;you shouldn't do that until a kid has ability X&quot; or &quot;you should do that if ...&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far I've found a 2014 &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/blogs/andrea-nair-connect-four-parenting/20141102/safe-movie-watching-suggestions-for-children&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;article&lt;/a&gt; by Andrea Nair for ymc which suggests that kid below 2 years old, should not watch any screen at all, and that the reason story tellers include these scenes in the first place was not to introduce these topics to children but rather to construct a plot in which a child is on its own adventure (which sounds like a rather not-well-thought-out decision).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9323" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-03T12:32:57.330" LastActivityDate="2019-05-03T12:32:57.330" Title="Should I skip sad scenes when watching a movie with a child?" Tags="|age-appropriate|research|movies|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24246" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24263" CreationDate="2016-03-03T21:04:05.400" Score="0" ViewCount="350" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lets say you have an argument with your kid.  And the kid needs to understand something very important; lets say almost on the level of importance of life and death.  And the kid listens to your explanation and the light bulb still doesn't go on; and the kid still continues to do the wrong thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do then?  Is there anything you can do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1880" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T23:37:40.817" Title="What's the best way to deal with illogical reasoning that can't be explained to a child?" Tags="|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="11" ClosedDate="2016-03-04T16:13:23.830" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2980" CreationDate="2016-03-03T22:12:52.010" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I sometimes feel conflicted and depressed about not being their father. [...] I feel like I can't get any recognition for fulfilling that role because I am &quot;just a brother&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question your mindset:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stopp feeling depressed about what you are &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instead feel awesome about what you &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are not &quot;just a brother&quot;, you are &lt;strong&gt;the older brother&lt;/strong&gt;, who &lt;strong&gt;loves his younger siblings&lt;/strong&gt; and does an &lt;strong&gt;awesome&lt;/strong&gt; job in responsibly taking care of them. This is a very respectable role and by any means &lt;strong&gt;you can and should be proud of it!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, &lt;strong&gt;you are the man in your family&lt;/strong&gt;. Yes, this role is generally supposed to be taken by the father, but for matters of life no father is present in your family. So you have taken responsibility and apparently you are doing the best you can in fulfilling that role. This is &lt;strong&gt;extremely valuable&lt;/strong&gt; for your younger brothers, who otherwise would grow up without a male role model. Again, you have taken &lt;strong&gt;a very respectable role&lt;/strong&gt; and by any means &lt;strong&gt;you can and should be proud of it!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, &lt;strong&gt;doing all this as &quot;just a brother&quot; deserves even more respect&lt;/strong&gt; than doing it as &quot;their father&quot;, because it is by no means your natural responsibility. It is you who has voluntarily taken that responsibility, because you love and care. It is even perfectly okay to &quot;take something back&quot; on that event called &quot;fathers day&quot;: As a matter of fact &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; are the man who cares about them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be proud about it and just state it as it is.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9238" LastActivityDate="2016-03-03T22:12:52.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24249" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-04T00:18:48.453" Score="5" ViewCount="405" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a parent decides, for humanitarian reasons, to go vegan, is it reasonable to ask 4, 6, and 8 yo kids (generally upbeat and compliant) to follow suit, at home and away?  In any case, how well do kids take that type of request?  If it works for a short time (say a month) is it likely to work longer term?  Does anyone have experience with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: It is now a few months and all is not well.  The young kids cry when they are at a birthday party and cannot eat the cake.  Sigh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastEditorUserId="19613" LastEditDate="2016-03-24T11:56:19.173" LastActivityDate="2016-03-25T03:18:16.567" Title="If a parent goes vegan, should the small kids, also?" Tags="|food|diet|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24250" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24253" CreationDate="2016-03-04T01:12:43.627" Score="2" ViewCount="411" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I want to have a child, but my wife does not want to bear a baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know we can adopt one from an orphanage. But what about child transferring from another family? Or bearing from another woman? Or any other options?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are totally okay with the child not being completely biologically related to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it depends on the country, we are in Australia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21165" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-12T14:09:47.160" LastActivityDate="2019-01-12T14:09:47.160" Title="Options to have a child but not giving birth" Tags="|parents|pregnancy|adoption|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24251" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24249" CreationDate="2016-03-04T01:52:38.290" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some nutritionists advise against a strict vegan diet, particularly for very young children, as it can be difficult to meet their nutritional requirements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/apr/20/veganism-safe-children&quot;&gt;http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/apr/20/veganism-safe-children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/vegetarian-diets-and-children&quot;&gt;https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/vegetarian-diets-and-children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent your primary responsibility is the well-being of your children, so it's important to be very well informed, and base your decision on reliable, and objective nutritional research.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A less strict vegetarian diet may be an appropriate compromise, as long as you're very careful to ensure that they're getting sufficient nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most cautious approach may be to simply cut back on meat products, but don't eliminate them entirely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-03-04T02:40:03.847" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T02:40:03.847" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24250" CreationDate="2016-03-04T09:28:15.973" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are 3 possible options...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Adoption. Not as easy as you might think, even if you adopt from overseas. It is typically very expensive, and takes years.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Surrogacy. Still very expensive, and a legal minefield.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Foster care. This would be the quickest, easiest (but still not easy) option. However this typically isn't a permanent arrangement. You might be caring for a child while the parents for various reasons are unable to.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-04T11:30:02.967" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T11:30:02.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24259" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-04T10:36:24.140" Score="0" ViewCount="12215" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 16/17 year old boy refused to go to school. He got aggressive and sweared at mum. He told dad to deal with it, who bought him an iPhone saying it's going cheap. Now he is utterly out of control. Does whatever he wants. He met a 14 year old girl online and whatever she says, he is totally smitten. He wants to get married and refuses to go school. He may have longterm sickness but this does not warrant his behaviour. He now claims his parents argue, smack and even whip him so that he won't have to go to school. That girl has taught him a lot of nonsense. I have always been the sole disciplinary and constant figure, while my husband refused to support me in upbringing the kids properly and wanted to be a friend instead of a dad. I can't force dad to be a dad nor a son to be a son as they both are bigger and stronger than me. I can't face that. I have always objected to his liason with this girl and refused to accept her and I think that would trigger it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21171" LastEditorUserId="14900" LastEditDate="2016-03-04T15:17:47.700" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T15:17:47.700" Title="16/17 year old refused to go to school, being aggressive and in charge" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2016-03-08T20:57:22.790" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24246" CreationDate="2016-03-04T14:19:34.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The question as stated now is very broad, with no specific examples.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In an attempt to give a fittingly broad answer, try to find a way to allow the kid to experience some [less severe than life and death] negative consequence that naturally comes out of that action, and if it's that important, see if you can &lt;em&gt;show&lt;/em&gt; (videos of?) examples of more severe consequences that might lead to productive vicarious learning...especially if the kid has empathy and seems likely to respond to that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's something like a toddler shoving a screwdriver in an electric outlet, you should also invest in physical barriers like outlet covers or maybe GFCI protection, at least as temporary measures until those dangerous boxes are no longer as dangerous.  It is a somewhat invisible danger that can be very hard to understand, especially for young kids, and it's not the only example like it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, dangerous objects (e.g. matches, lighters, pills, blades, firearms, explosives, poisons, dangerous chemicals, explosives, power tools, certain hand tools, choking hazard objects, credit cards, etc.) should just be kept out of reach (via some effective access control) until the kid is old enough to understand the danger &amp;amp; permanence of consequences, has been appropriately trained in well-supervised settings, and has demonstrated responsibility with access.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17680" LastEditorUserId="17680" LastEditDate="2016-03-04T23:37:40.817" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T23:37:40.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12017" CreationDate="2016-03-04T14:42:25.747" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you could usefully approach this question as if you were a video game designer trying to make a fun and engaging game.  You want the player (in this case, your kids) to win often enough (and not too often) to keep them engaged and interested.  Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's concept of &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0061339202&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Flow&lt;/a&gt; is usually cited here.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As Jeremy Miller's nice answer (+1!) noted, &lt;em&gt;teaching strategy&lt;/em&gt; is a better way to help the kids win.  In general, setting a high bar and then teaching the kids what they need in order to reach that high bar is a good strategy, where feasible.   As an addition to Jeremy's answer, explaining your own moves and maybe showing some of your hidden information (e.g. cards in your hand) as needed for the explanation can also be helpful, so they can see good strategy, understand why those are good decisions, see how they work out, and if they work out well they might adopt the strategy themselves in future games.  Especially young kids may see your level of knowledge as a ceiling or upper bound, so if you're using bad strategy they may either pick up on the losing strategies or (esp. if they're old enough to reliably connect the outcome with the strategy, and think you are trying your best to win) conclude that strategy does not lead to winning.  Where you make strategy mistakes with immediate consequences, point out those consequences (esp. when the consequences result from them responding appropriately with good strategy).  &lt;em&gt;Do your best&lt;/em&gt; is a valuable lesson to model, especially when the kid is engaged in the activity (game) and old enough to have &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;theory of mind&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Folks often give up on a goal if they think it'll be impossible for them to reach, or if it seems sufficiently unlikely without a corresponding potentially large reward.  Therefore, if you bias the (kid's) win percentage to be lower (as strategy develops), pair wins with a good degree of praise and make the experience rewarding.  Focus that praise on &lt;em&gt;you won&lt;/em&gt; rather than &lt;em&gt;I lost&lt;/em&gt; (note the difference in agency and more positive focus associated with the kid's doing something good), unless the kid is being a sore winner and causing opponents to feel excessively bad about losing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you're teaching a lesson (that might not be obvious for a while) about a good way to behave when your opponent has just beaten you in some accomplishment.  A more important lesson from this might apply to how hard work, good strategy, doing the right thing, etc. doesn't produce a reward every time, and even when it does it's often not an immediate reward, but if you keep at it, it can eventually produce a very rewarding experience.  Then, later in life, your kid might be less likely to give up in the face of difficult challenges when they don't seem to be winning.  (Warning: they may be more stubborn as teens, if your rules are the perceived challenge.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17680" LastEditorUserId="17680" LastEditDate="2016-03-04T15:09:54.723" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T15:09:54.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24259" CreationDate="2016-03-04T15:17:25.213" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay, first I'd like to tell you that you are not alone.  I myself spent the last 3 years dealing with the same situation with my now 18 year old and before that, his older brother. His father and I have been divorced for 16 years, my son decided to live with dad because dad was fun and let him do what ever he liked.  I was only ever called in to deal with drama and if he didn't want to do it I had no one to back me up.  The last year of high school he basically showed up when he felt like it.  Here is what I learned from this experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Once they are over 17 there is very little you can do legally to make them go to school. Ya, it's bs but you seriously have no recourse.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-Nothing I said or did got him to listen or comply.  It just made things worse.  He knew that I no one had my back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-I tried it ALL...and guess what, you can't force them to go to therapy, counseling, school or any of it.  In the end they can walk away or just choose not to talk.  Where does that get anyone? If you can get him to participate in these things, do try, but remember, you can't force. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to say this at the risk of freaking people out, but this is what I finally did and it changed my life.  I stopped.  I stopped arguing, pleading, reprimanding or trying to force it.  I just stopped.  I finally just told him one day that I was no longer going to participate in the situation.  Because here is another fact.  You are an adult, you have gone to school, done what you needed to do to get your life in order, you pay your bills, make your choices and you live with the consequences.  It's time for you son to do the same and you need to let him.  Him not going to school will only hinder his life, his future, his path. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You see the parents who run themselves into insanity to control their children...why?  Because its your child and your supposed to?  That's what love is? I say No, that is not how it is supposed to be. He is no longer an infant, toddler or adolescent. He is almost an adult and if he wants to make adult choices he can deal with adult consequences because at the end of the day you do no one any good being a martyr to your own child/husband.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What happened when I did this? It wasn't so entertaining to him anymore and it confused him.  He stopped being so rude and just started doing what he knew he was supposed to do.  He started coming to me instead of me hunting him down.  Now don't get me wrong, I didn't just drop off the radar.  I still found ways to keep tabs on him, find out what he was doing and stay informed, but he didn't need to know that.  This was also not easy to do.  I had to stop enabling him (very hard), I had to stop beating myself up (even harder) and I had to constantly remind myself to &quot;STOP&quot;.  It's retraining your perspective. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is now 18, he did graduate, he is still kind of a train wreck if you ask me but he is finding his own path.  He is still young and has plenty of time to make all of the mistakes he is going to make but they are HIS mistakes.  I no longer take owner ship of them because I can't change what is already happened.  I can only hope he figures it out without injury to himself or others.  This may sound cold but so many parents loose their own lives struggling for their children that they forget that the whole idea of having a child isn't making them into your pet puppet...it's to create and perpetuate life.  You have dreams for them, hopes and goals...but those are your dreams, your hopes and your goals.  We forget that in the end they too are human beings and what is it that we as human beings are gifted with above all others? Free Will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to end off by saying I am so very sorry that you do not have a supportive spouse in this situation.  I know how it feels. My boys father was not only unsupportive but would actually go out of his way to sabotage things just to spite me...when it was our boys who were suffering in the end. He would tell them they didn't have to go to counseling, didn't have to listen to me and often fell back on &quot;boys will be boys&quot; with every situation.  Few can understand this if they haven't been in it.  It has been a painful, long struggle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that this is the answer you were looking for, but I think it's important for you to know that you are NOT alone in your situation.  My answer to you is to stop, take control of YOUR life and what You can control. Be there when he seeks you out, love him, don't push him away but stop jumping through hoops.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T15:17:25.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24245" CreationDate="2016-03-04T18:14:42.023" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have to share this story.  I had my six year old niece over for an afternoon, and I decided to show her Bambi, which she had never seen.  At one point, I went into the kitchen to fetch a snack, and when I came back out Bambi and the old stag were having their &quot;you must be brave and learn to live by yourself&quot; conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My niece looked up at me and asked &quot;Did Bambi's mother die?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My heart almost stopped.  I felt awful, wondering if I had just traumatized my sister's little girl, who loved kittens and puppies and had pictures of my little pony all over her walls.  But I didn't want to lie to her, so I said &quot;yes&quot;, expecting to sympathize with her over how sad it was when someone you love dies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My niece paused in thought for a moment, and then asked, in a frankly puzzled voice &quot;Then why didn't we get to see it?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-03-04T18:14:42.023" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24270" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-05T13:03:41.527" Score="2" ViewCount="317" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is just two and a bit. My wife still breastfeeds a lot. Our nights aren't particularly great. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our arrangement was that usually I sleep in one room and my wife and daughter in the other so that I can get up early after a good night's sleep to do the morning chores and take our daughter to nursery while my wife catches up on sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I take night duty, too. Both when my wife is here and, especially, when she is away on work. My experience is that the first two nights are difficult with the daughter waking up often, sometimes having one crying fit for about 20 minutes asking for mother, and after that she sleeps through from night 3 on. Once my wife is back on duty our daughter wakes 2 (rarely) to 10 (often) times a night to »drink« (it really is more like a cigarette butt hanging from her lips now when she breastfeeds).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two nights ago we explained that in order to sleep through the night, which was desirable for everyone, she would have to learn to go back to sleep without the breast. We did an enactment with her and she did understand that her mother would hold her tight and cuddle if she woke up, but that the night needed to be over before she could drink again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first night went ok, she went back to sleep without breastfeeding once. When she woke up a second time, she cried and yelled until my wife gave in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second night she went back to sleep without breastfeeding a few times, but all before midnight. After midnight she woke and cried angrily for over an hour before my wife relented. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now we are unsure how to continue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Letting her cry for so long does not feel right, but it may be necessary. Is it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I take the next night? It seems that our daughter is afraid of losing her mother/her mother's love, so we are unsure whether this would be the right kind of signal&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should we regard this as a failed attempt and next time have me start with 4 to 7 nights in a row before my wife tries?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should we try to end co-sleeping first?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We need to get this through soon because the way the nights work at the moment is not sustainable for us (mostly for my wife). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a different forum (German language) we found a question by someone in a similar situation, but the angry crying fits had already continued for 4 weeks. This would be even less sustainable for us. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/12530/how-to-increase-the-durations-of-sleep-between-awakenings-at-night&quot;&gt;This question&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/471/how-do-you-ween-a-toddler-off-of-breastfeeding?rq=1&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; as well as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/2345/how-can-we-end-nighttime-comfort-nursing?rq=1&quot;&gt;that&lt;/a&gt; address a similar matter but deal with much younger children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE:&lt;/strong&gt; She slept with me ever since and her sleeping pattern is much better. She wakes twice a night at most, often only once and for a few times not at all. She uses her own bed now and it helps. When she wakes up, she still wants to be with me, but that is ok for now. The biggest progress I think is that on several occasions she managed going back to sleep on her own with me not being there (we both woke, I said I needed a drink of water and asked if it was ok for her to wait and when I came back she was sound asleep again). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our idea now is to slowly phase in mother nights, first one, then two etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20700" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T09:43:06.473" Title="How to continue with removing breastfeeding at night" Tags="|toddler|sleep|breastfeeding|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24272" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-05T21:04:42.283" Score="2" ViewCount="2958" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old twin sons have been at their new school for four months now, and they have made no friends. This is down to their own actions, at school they will only play with each other and want noting to do with the other children. If others come up to them they will both just run away. I even hosted a playgroup at my house with the children from their school, but my twins simply went up to their room and refused to come down. When I forced them downstairs and separated them  they just cried in the corner. I love that my boys spend time together but I want them to have other friends to play with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20983" LastActivityDate="2018-07-12T04:02:13.423" Title="Should my twins play with other children?" Tags="|primary-schooler|twins|friends|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24273" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-05T22:19:22.677" Score="1" ViewCount="125" Body="&lt;p&gt;My MIL is traveling to paraguay.  How long do you think she should wait to visit my 8 month old son once returning?  There is currently the outbreak of the Zika virus there. Any input would be appreciated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21185" LastActivityDate="2016-03-06T00:31:02.377" Title="My MIL is traveling to Paraguay. How long do you suggest having her wait to visit my 8 month old son once returning?" Tags="|sickness|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24273" CreationDate="2016-03-06T00:31:02.377" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This should not be a problem at all. The person likely to suffer from Zika id the person traveling to affected areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Zika &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; cause microcephaly in fetuses, that is, while the baby is in utero. Once the baby has been born, it can't contract a &lt;em&gt;birth defect&lt;/em&gt; per se. It can contract the illness, but not enough is known to say the illness would be any different in infants than adults (in other words, like any other run-of-the-mill viral illness, not like a dangerous one, say Hepatitis B or C.) Some people testing positive for the virus experience Guillain-Barré syndrome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The virus is most commonly spread by mosquitoes; it can also be spread through sexual contact, but no other mode of transmission from person to person is known. Even if your mother-in-law is sick from the virus, she can't give it to your baby. If a mosquito were to bite an infected person (your MIL, say) while they are sick, then bite your infant, the virus may be transmitted in this way, but think about the odds (they are quite small.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The illness usually lasts about a week, but is mild enough that many don't even realize they have been infected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is still a lot that is not known about the virus. If you need to take the absolute safest measures to be comfortable, knowing that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The incubation period (the time from exposure to symptoms) for Zika virus disease is not known, but is likely to be a few days to a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;During the first week of infection, Zika virus can be found in the blood and passed from an infected person to a mosquito through mosquito bites&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, if your mother-in-law is not sick on her return, a week should be time enough for a viral infection to declare itself, then another week to run it's course. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/zika/about/index.html&quot;&gt;About Zika Virus Disease (CDC)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/page/zika-travel-information&quot;&gt;Zika Travel Informationn&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/zika/qa/gbs-qa.html&quot;&gt;Guillain-Barré syndrome Q &amp;amp; A&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-03-06T00:31:02.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24272" CreationDate="2016-03-06T23:20:52.880" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I moved to a new school district when my son was 6 and my daughter 5, 2 years after another move. Twice we started with no friends. But this isn't about me; it's just worked during those two moves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest going to public places where there are lots of other kids. We have memberships to the local children's museum, the zoo, the &quot;little&quot; amusement park; at first, the kids just hung out with dad or each other, but the more we went, the more likely they were to play with other kids. It doesn't have to be fancy, a good McDonald's play area or mall might be enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also something special about twins. They probably are content to have each other. That will change, I imagine, within a few years; this doesn't sound abnormal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-03-06T23:20:52.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24272" CreationDate="2016-03-07T18:35:00.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son pretty much played solo until he was a little past 4, then the daycare people reported he just opened up. My understanding the whole time (we started getting a little worried after he turned 3) is that in the pre-school years, they basically play alongside as much each other as much as with each other, so when they are ready to include others in their play, they will. As long as he was playing and interacting with other  people somewhere (i.e. us at home and when we went out), we did not worry about him playing solo at day care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another observation the day care staff made, which I appreciate much more now, is that my son would play by himself in one place, while the chaotic mass of daycare kids moved from place to place. I appreciate that more now because we (wife and I) like the fact that we have a fairly calm and pleasant elementary school child. (teachers like that too)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20388" LastActivityDate="2016-03-07T18:35:00.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24287" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24290" CreationDate="2016-03-08T14:08:45.477" Score="42" ViewCount="10853" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-year-old stepson has terrible tantrums. I was abused as a child and used to act out as a result. Teachers and other adults were very hostile to me and failed to recognize my cries for help. So when I was first getting to know this boy, I was under the assumption that children act out because they are misunderstood and in pain and need help. So whenever he had a tantrum, I would bring him a blanket and some warm milk and stroke his hair and do anything I could to comfort him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His father says he is just spoiled and I thought he was being insensitive, but the more I get to know my stepson, the more I realize my husband is right. My stepson spends a lot of time with his grandparents, partly because that's my husband's culture and partly due to our jobs. It is comical how much they spoil him. He gets a new toy, worth $30-80 every single weekend. They go to extreme levels to meet his every command. The other day, his grandmother brought him juice and he remarked that the glass was cold, so she held it for him while he drank from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is hurting him! He has terrible self-esteem, is convinced he can't do anything himself, and throws a tantrum if I very gently try to encourage him. He is helpless to the extreme. He screams out when he wants something. The other day, he wanted something he couldn't reach, so he screamed for me to come and get it for him. When I suggested that he get a chair to stand on (which was a foot away from him), he burst into tears and insisted it was &quot;impossible&quot; for him to get it himself. Gentle encouragement like &quot;I know you can do it, just give it a shot!&quot; just seems to make him more upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and I are trying our best to not spoil him in order to &quot;undo&quot; all the spoiling, but it's clearly not enough. My husband has tried everything he could for the past nine years to get his parents to stop spoiling him - he has explained the problem to them, begged them and fought with them. They are extremely stubborn and insist they are doing nothing wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we can't seem to stop my stepson from &lt;em&gt;getting&lt;/em&gt; spoiled, is it at all possible to stop him from &lt;em&gt;being&lt;/em&gt; spoiled?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21213" LastEditorUserId="21213" LastEditDate="2016-03-08T14:36:06.267" LastActivityDate="2017-08-04T14:19:30.033" Title="Is it possible to spoil a child, but still teach them not to behave spoiled?" Tags="|behavior|tantrums|grandparents|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-08T15:44:25.763" Score="48" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't believe you can spoil a child without having them act spoiled.  You can't jump in a pool without getting wet, just like you can't spoil a child without having it affect them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spoiling a child robs the child of opportunities to learn and grow.  Kids learn how to behave based on how they see their parents (and grandparents) act and how they treat the child.  Teaching a child that they never have to deal with anything that requires more effort than breathing is setting that child up to live in a fantasy world.  Life doesn't work that way.  Life has its great moments, but we only get there after dealing with hard things.  Dealing with hard things forces us to push ourselves, to build a strong character and to be resilient.  Removing all hardship removes the ability to learn those things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way to learn not to be spoiled is to deal with hard things.  &quot;Hard&quot; can be relative, but hard things combat an entitled attitude by replacing it with one of &quot;I can do it&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My recommendation here would be to start with a little &quot;tough&quot; love.  Don't do for your child something he can reasonably do for himself.  If all he needs to do is move a chair and climb up to reach something, let him.  Explain to him that if he wants whatever it is, he can do it himself.  Assure him you love him but that he needs to do it.  This will probably result in lots of screaming and crying.  Either he will learn to do it himself or that what he wanted wasn't that important.  If he chooses to get it himself, great, he has learned that he doesn't need someone to do everything for him, that he can do it himself.  If he decides it isn't important, then he learns that maybe he doesn't need every whim fulfilled instantly.  Either way he comes out ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Grandparents, for better or worse, have long since claimed that it is their right as grandparents to spoil their grandchildren.  Getting your husbands parents to change seems like it will be hard.  Getting them to stop entirely appears impossible.  Given that, the approach may be to limit the amount of spoiling they can do.  To continue the pool analogy, you will never get a child dry who never gets out of the pool.  You can never unspoil a child that is constantly getting spoiled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate the idea of issuing something tantamount to an ultimatum, but that may be your only option.  You will have to take your stepson over to his grandparents less (or only under your supervision or stop all together or ...) if they can't stop spoiling him.  You are the parent.  It is your responsibility to protect your child from harm.  Even if that harm is damage to his character and self-esteem wrapped up in a mountain of well-intentioned love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T15:44:25.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24289" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-08T16:20:10.517" Score="4" ViewCount="704" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12-year-old grandson does not have any interests other than video games. He can be a good student, but he does not turn in work and always complains about not having friends and nobody liking him. He does not want to participate in any activity and when he does it is not for long. He often comes up with &quot;get rich quick&quot; ideas and has an answer for everything. He does not seem to be affected by any type of punishment. Any help would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21217" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-05T21:10:39.577" LastActivityDate="2022-06-23T14:47:46.107" Title="What to do with a disinterested 12-year-old boy?" Tags="|pre-teen|video-games|motivation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-08T16:24:54.377" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see a lot of things that you can do just in the question, though I'm not sure there's a true answer to your question.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, one of the hardest things for children to deal with is &lt;em&gt;inconsistency&lt;/em&gt;.  Having Grandma treat him one way and (Step)Mom/Dad treat him another way is very confusing.  This is not to say that you should not treat him differently: it's to say that this is to be expected to be confusing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can and should &lt;em&gt;talk&lt;/em&gt; to him about this difference.  Nine is old enough to be very self-aware, and he is very much capable of understanding why you do the things you do.  Not all at once, of course - but breaking it down into small doses, he will be able to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have these conversations at non-stressful times, on their own, not connected to any particular behavioral issue.  Tell him why you treat him differently, and how it will impact his life.  Think of all of this from his point of view: things like &quot;We don't want to spoil you&quot; aren't going to make sense, and aren't going to be helpful.  Rather, things like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You're nine years old now, a growing boy, and we would like to help you develop independence.  We'd like to help you get to the point that you can go play by yourself, go over to a friend's house without us accompanying you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As you get older, you're going to need to learn how to take care of yourself - since we won't always be there.  Things like doing the dishes and setting the table are ways you can help out now, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; learn how to do things for yourself.  And, when you do learn some of these things, you get more control - not just over who gets what plate, but eventually you can help make dinner and decide what we eat.  Just as long as it's not macaroni and cheese every night...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, learning responsibility starts with small steps.  One small task to start with - set the table before dinner, say.  Have a small, appropriate reward tied to it.  One example I use for my younger child: if he wants dessert, he has to either unload the dishes from the dishwasher (if clean) or load the dinner dishes in the dishwasher.  He gets to choose whether he does that or not; if he doesn't, he doesn't get dessert that night, though.  Most nights I get to sit on the couch while the dishes are done, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This sense of responsibility is important, because it will help him feel that he is a capable child.  The issue here is likely not that he is simply unwilling to do these things - he is likely of the opinion that he is &lt;em&gt;unable&lt;/em&gt; to take care of himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, when faced with him doing something that he feels he cannot (like getting a glass), keep two things in mind.  One, don't assume he can, from his point of view.  Ask him why he cannot, and address those concerns.  Perhaps he's worried he'll drop it - maybe Grandma doesn't let him get glasses down for that reason, and has instilled in him a sense of fear about glasses; or perhaps he as dropped a few, and is scared for that reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And two, combine love with firmness.  If you've decided he can get the glass for himself, then don't get the glass for him, no matter what; but keep up the loving, caring feedback.  Even if he gets more upset, keep being loving and caring.  You can help him help himself get through this - but it will take a lot of caring and loving for him to feel supported enough.  Maybe this time he ends up giving up on the glass - but next time, perhaps, he's thirsty enough to get it.  Do consider other circumstances as to whether this is the right time to have a firm stance - is it 8:00pm and he's very tired?  Maybe not then.  But, if he's otherwise in a normal mood, that's the time to push.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I think there's still likely work that can be done with Grandma.  This follows the same path as with your son: baby steps.  Find one small thing that can be phrased as an entirely reasonable request, and can be explained as something you're working with him on, and ask her to help you - don't phrase it as asking her to change her habits because they're wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Hi Dot - We're working with Simon on setting the table right now.  Is there any way you could help out, by getting him to help set the table at your place sometimes?  We're trying to help teach him how to set it properly, and I know you're really knowledgeable about place-setting, so you could be a real help here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't focus on the bigger things, at least for now.  Giving him toys isn't a big deal.  You can work with your son over time to find solutions for this - like giving his toys to the needy.  The big deal is personal responsibility and independence, and you can work with Grandma in baby steps to get to where that is possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T16:24:54.377" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24289" CreationDate="2016-03-08T18:15:46.710" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your grandson sounds to be intelligent albeit lacking focus or interest. Since he likes video games, you could try exposing him to programming where he could build his own games and share them with his peers. You're trying to find him a hobby that he enjoys and he could find friends wile doing it too. Exposure to a lot of different fields and activities is great for his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some resources:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://scratch.mit.edu/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Scratch&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://appinventor.mit.edu/explore/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MIT App Inventor&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.instructables.com/id/Raspberry-Pi-Projects/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Raspberry PI Projects&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://makerfaire.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;MakerFaire&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://minecraft.net/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Minecraft&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://code.org&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Hour of Code&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastEditorUserId="17653" LastEditDate="2016-03-10T16:44:03.777" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T16:44:03.777" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15133" CreationDate="2016-03-08T18:49:23.440" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ask your mother to protect you from his violent attacks. If she doesn't, report him to the police. Assault is illegal. Also seek out charities that can give you psychotherapy to help you undo some of the inevitable damage his physical and emotional violence will have done to your sense of self. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a 35 year old who was repeatedly attacked by my father as a child and a teenager, I can tell you that the longer you allow him to do this, the more harm will come to you in the long run, and the more difficult it will be to fix the psychological problems that accumulate as a result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Defend yourself. Demand protection from him. Imagine how much you would want to protect someone else if you saw them being attacked, and now apply this courage and compassion to yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21218" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T18:49:23.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19456" CreationDate="2016-03-08T19:37:04.327" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/menopause/features/menopause-age-prediction&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;WebMD&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There is no way to delay menopause; it can only be sped up, not slowed down, by external factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Factors that &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;DO&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; affect menopause age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the age her mother experienced menopause&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;smoking&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;chemotherapy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ovarian surgery&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;ethnicity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Factors that &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;do NOT&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;age of first period&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pregnancy and breastfeeding&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;use of hormonal birth control methods&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Factors being studied, but have &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;unknown&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; effects:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bisphenol A (BPA), a chemical used to make certain plastic&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are only worried about the egg quality, egg retrieval before the age of 35 is best. For eggs retrieved after 35, you may want to pay for genetic testing. Different physicans have different cutoffs recommendations, but 35 is the most common one. The uterus &quot;quality&quot; doesn't decline with age. Even women who have experienced menopause can take hormones to carry a pregnancy with a frozen embryo. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastEditorUserId="21162" LastEditDate="2016-03-08T20:17:20.100" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T20:17:20.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2016-03-08T19:41:43.687" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a simple rule: media consumption should be made in public spaces. No TV or computers in their bedroom. Sure, I'm not always there, but they know they shouldn't do something they wouldn't do in public. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="156" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T19:41:43.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-08T20:29:50.557" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, a quick commentary on the gifts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether $30/week for enjoyment (a new toy, or whatever) is too much, or not, is not something I'm in a position to say.  My parents considered themselves to be quite wealthy, and that was more than I received.  However, I do imagine that a king likely provides a prince with things with a higher amount of financial value than what many other parents do.  Does that mean that a prince is doomed to be an awful person?  Well, maybe historical precedent suggests a high likelihood, but I believe that people can choose to be good people.  Today, inflation makes $30 less than it was, stuff is cheaper, and most of society has more &amp;quot;stuff&amp;quot; than older generations.  Case in point: I was horrified at a Christmas present of a cell phone, because as a 19 year old I knew of the dangers of high cell phone bills, and didn't want that responsibility.  But last night I saw a teacher tell a new class that all cell phones should be placed on desks, and it looked like every one of the 15 year olds had a cell phone on their desk.  Expecting current young society to do things that were only sensible in my era would be an unfair comparison.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not feeling in a position to offer a blanket judgement that applies to all circumstances, and so I cannot advise you on what is actually right (since the asked question did not offer more specific details).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the question covers details beyond just the financial amount of a weekly present, so let's look at...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;The plan&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to the grandparents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a plan of what you would like to see happen from that conversation.  After all, you're bringing up the topic/conversation, so make sure you can lead the conversation if needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, don't come with a plan of which expectations of yours you want fulfilled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently they did a successful enough job with their son that you decided to marry him.  It just might be that the grandparents may know a thing or two about parenting.  They may also have some views that might not work as well with today's current younger society, or with you and your culture/background/beliefs in the household.  If they are planning to just repeat their prior success in the exact same way that they did it before, that might not be the way to do it.  However, don't just blindly plan to rule out all of their experienced opinions before discussing what it is that they think they are doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20100" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T20:29:50.557" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24296" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20283" CreationDate="2016-03-08T21:17:17.890" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I thought twice before posting this, but since almost all posts are about the money, another perspective may enrich the debate. I don't know which country you are from, maybe I'll touch some cultural sensibilities. Anyway, maybe it is better to read this from a complete stranger. In my country we value a lot social interactions, maybe that's why your son story shocked me. Please take a moment to think about what I have to say. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I believe I'll do stupid actions due to girls till the last day in my life. It is completely normal, specially if you are 13 years old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But with 13 years, your son isn't a child any more. The girl and her/his friends were poking fun at him. From his reaction, he liked it. Other people were laughing about something he did. He made someone happy. It looks like he was craving so much for any kind of social interaction, that he tried to get a little more of it giving all his shoes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've known a bunch of guys that excel at school but don't have a clue in interpersonal relationships. They usually aren't very happy. Some of them didn't even became functional adults. All this story, may be a cry for help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is that you should talk to other adults and children that usually watch your son in social settings. Ask how your boy behave, if he knows how to interact. See if it is really a problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be sociable is a learnable skill, and a lot easier to learn when you are young and have a lot of opportunities to interact with your peers. Your son will probably be more successful in his career if he knows how to do it. A professional, a psychologist, may help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Money is the least important thing in this story. Your son will probably be happier having good and valued friends than being an honor student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="156" LastEditorUserId="156" LastEditDate="2016-03-10T02:27:44.177" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T02:27:44.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24297" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-08T21:59:52.027" Score="0" ViewCount="144" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are moving to Lavia soon and our 9 year old son will be going to an International School, but he doesn't speak English at all. He already speaks two languages (Italian and Portuguese). Do you think it is too late for him to start school? He'll be starting in 5th grade and I'm freaking out!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21238" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2016-03-09T07:53:12.383" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T19:23:01.157" Title="9 years old starting at an international school but doesn't speak English" Tags="|education|bilingual|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-08T23:28:56.403" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you cannot convince the grandparents to stop spoiling the the child (the real solution), and you cannot keep the child away from them (the backup solution), you've put yourself in a very difficult position.  Accordingly, it should be unsurprising that the solution is equally difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are going to need to focus on that which cannot be spoiled.  Spoiling provides &quot;things,&quot; where the end goal is the entire value.  You will need to provide your child the opposite end of the spectrum, where life is about the journey, not the destination.  For example, instead of suggesting the child get the chair as a solution to their problem (of not being able to get something), suggest that getting the chair is a journey, and whether or not the task is finished, it will have value.  For example, you may later use the chair wherever the child left it to accomplish something the child wants, and draw attention to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two aspects which make this very difficult.  One is that you need to be able to cleverly choose what journeys you suggest such that their needs (and many of their wants) are satisfied, no matter how far down that journey they went.  Ideally their needs are always met, and their wants are met if they do their best.  This is not trivial -- people spend lifetimes learning to do this.  The second aspect is that this creates a very bipolar environment for the child, one part where everything is about the destination, and one part where everything is about the journey.  You will have to help the child bridge the gap between them.  The right way to do this will be very dependent on both you and the child, so nobody can tell you the right way to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you want a child that doesn't behave spoiled when their family is, in fact, spoiling them, that's the path to take.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its quite a journey!  Make sure that, if you go down the path, you are happy with it even if the child ends up spoiled anyways.  That is the destination, after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2016-03-08T23:28:56.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24300" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24306" CreationDate="2016-03-09T00:36:16.430" Score="1" ViewCount="126" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes my 5.5 month old will randomly cry, sometimes scream, while he's sleeping. He doesn't wake up. Just cries/screams for a second, then goes back to peacefulness. Is he having bad dreams or what could this be?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20549" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T12:31:47.070" Title="Bad baby dreams?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24301" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24304" CreationDate="2016-03-09T01:06:23.457" Score="0" ViewCount="2618" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a strange one for us, especially me. My 3 1/2 month old has disturbed sleep, as he kicks and moves his hands while becoming stiff, and wakes himself up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried wrapping him up but he is too good at moving his hands out and again wakes himself up. This thing make his sleep disturbed, and my wife takes it that he is hungry and pulls him into our bed while feeding him but it's not enough, so this goes on throughout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why does he kick, move and stiffen himself? Wrapping him isn't working as he has grown too big to get wrapped in a baby blanket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7778" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-09T11:57:58.153" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T11:57:58.153" Title="Baby kicks and wakes himself" Tags="|infant|development|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-09T07:35:13.160" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Yes, it is possible.&lt;/em&gt; Both I and one of my good friends were raised with everything we could want but we did not turn out particularly spoiled. (We have our flaws, but so does everyone.) I think the natural temperament of the child is an important factor; only some children can be showered in gold without being spoiled.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing to recognise is that &lt;strong&gt;you have a long road ahead&lt;/strong&gt;. It will probably take years to help your stepson become confident and independent. There will be things he is not ready for right now, but one day you will find that he is. I have been trying to help my niece and nephews overcome emotional problems for almost 5 years and it has not been until the last year that major improvements have begun. &lt;strong&gt;Don't&lt;/strong&gt; take every opportunity you can to try to correct a problem; for a whole host of reasons this is likely to make the child resist even more. Instead, let things slide sometimes, even for months at a time. &quot;Learn to walk before you can run&quot;&amp;mdash;start with the smaller, more manageable problems rather than the big, obvious ones. I will give some suggestions for how to make some progress with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do things together instead of encouraging him to do them on his own.&lt;/strong&gt; It seems likely that he really feels like you are asking him to do the impossible. Did you ever have trouble giving a speech, or dealing with money in a shop, or returning an overdue item. or any other &quot;basic&quot; life skill? To him, moving a chair or dealing with mild pain may be just as hard, because he's had so little practice. Start by doing things &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt;, so that he begins to see that he can play a role in getting what he wants. If he has particular trouble with physical actions like helping to lift a chair, try tasking him with other roles, like giving you directions on where to place the chair (&quot;a little to the left&quot; etc.), or watching a clock to tell you when to take the cake out of the oven.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Recognise that he may feel very unloved around you.&lt;/strong&gt; His grandparents set an example for how he is treated by those who love him. While you should consider the &quot;tough love&quot; approach others have suggested, I think you should also consider actually spoiling him to show him he is loved and valued&amp;mdash;especially if he is going to continue seeing his grandparents. If giving him what he wants turns him into a sweet little boy, my advice would be, do it! And then work on helping that sweet boy to grow and take on small challenges, and later larger ones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use a change of scenery.&lt;/strong&gt; Go on a camping trip or a holiday. When everything is different, it is easier for a child (or even an adult) to accept that &quot;the normal rules don't apply&quot;. Try really easy things that everyone can do together&amp;mdash;collecting shells together at the beach (whether to decorate a sandcastle or to take home), picking berries or flowers, or collecting small sticks for a fire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find a new angle with the grandparents.&lt;/strong&gt; See if you can talk them into doing activities with him that will help him become more confident and independent. It might be reading with him, cooking things together, building something with him, helping him with his schoolwork. Use your judgement on whether they would just &quot;do it all for him&quot; or whether they would actually take it seriously. If they take it seriously, this means he will spend less time getting anything he wants and more time learning to do something practical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Help him develop a moral compass.&lt;/strong&gt; This only makes sense if he respects you and is open to ideas from you. It is certainly a big part of the reason I turned out OK. Teach him to respect others and care about others, to respect possessions and money and the environment, not by preaching to him but by helping him discover the importance of these things for himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Embrace his identity.&lt;/strong&gt; Of course you should try to help him become a healthy, functioning person. But don't see who he is as something that needs to be &quot;fixed&quot;. He may always feel most comfortable when he can tell other people what to do and get things just the way he wants them, and this could make him a brilliant manager or leader one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17837" LastEditorUserId="17837" LastEditDate="2016-03-09T07:41:30.757" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T07:41:30.757" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24301" CreationDate="2016-03-09T08:10:08.593" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does this behavior occur on a daily basis or just sometimes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me it reads like your boy is working through something in his sleep. Do you have any toys which really sets him up, or something flashy , fast moving, he sees all day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you as a father tried to comfort him? One would think the mother is the best person to calm a baby down, but the baby can smell its mother and especially its mothers breast. Babys can get a little bit excited, when  they can smell it and in some cases that does the opposite of calming it down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When our boy wakes up at night, I take him and hear some music we listen to since he was a newborn and in 90% of all cases the issue is closed within 5 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21276" LastEditorUserId="21276" LastEditDate="2016-03-09T10:57:54.010" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T10:57:54.010" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24305" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-09T08:44:58.553" Score="2" ViewCount="183" Body="&lt;p&gt;A brief background. The kid in question is a bit naturally reserved. She has few friends. Her best friend moved to a different country recently. She now has one friend with whom she plays in park. And plays with no one else. Now things have come to such a pass that she sits in park and keeps waiting till her friend comes. Surrounded by kids who are playing. No matter how much parents coax, she does not play with anyone else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is becoming a bit of a bother since many times the friend does not turn up. Parents have not given up. They want to keep her around kids so that her social skills improve. But standing around with the kid sitting and doing nothing sometimes gets on the their nerves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to get the kid out of this rut? When she will be comfortable making new friends?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21277" LastActivityDate="2016-03-11T18:25:57.850" Title="4.5 yr old not making friends" Tags="|life-skills|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24300" CreationDate="2016-03-09T11:09:11.450" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;that is a completely normal behavior.&#xA;Babys working on their daily experience through night nearly the same way we do.&#xA;Sometimes if something really sets them up, they scream and cry as they do at daytime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babys and kids are not capable of controlling their emotions as good as an grown-up. So some events can&#xA;trigger an emotional outbreak the kid can't control and it starts laughing, crying  or screaming extremely hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That can happen at night too, when they are dreaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a few weeks or month this behavior will slightly decrease but it not necessary needs to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;best regards&#xA;Martin&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21276" LastEditorUserId="21276" LastEditDate="2016-03-09T12:31:47.070" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T12:31:47.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24301" CreationDate="2016-03-09T11:56:41.037" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is likely a combination of &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003293.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Moro reflex&lt;/a&gt; (also called a startle reflex, or startle response) and normal movements in sleep. Infants have less control over their muscles and reactions than older children, and so their more extreme movements are more likely to wake them up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the waking is just caused by startling himself, then comforting him with a cuddle should quickly get him back to sleep. If he then becomes fussier, however, there is more likely another underlying issue (diaper, hunger) that requires more intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T11:56:41.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-09T13:26:07.673" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I think of 'being spoiled' I conjure to mind images of people expecting a quality of life that is out of sync with the normal ability to obtain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't describe your child as being spoiled. The disturbing issue here is his failure to perform simple tasks, which is unrelated to the cost of a weekly gift - the value and access to which would create the 'spoiled' attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To answer the question, yes you can spoil a child (based on your means) and still have an environment in which the child does not behave as if he/she was spoiled. Spoiled children do not have GRATITUDE and have UNREASONABLE expectations. So, simply encourage the appropriate traits, and voila!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Far more disturbing is the grandparents' behavior. Perhaps family counseling among them and your husband would help. I'm guessing the issues here are deep, but unintentional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21280" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T13:26:07.673" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24309" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24312" CreationDate="2016-03-09T16:32:38.657" Score="5" ViewCount="812" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend's Teenage Boy (TB), 14, wants to talk to his dad about things he doesn't like about him, like smoking in the living room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He came to me for advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Knowing his dad, who is a very prideful chap and not the listening type of man, I didn't know what to answer. TB is not in harm's way, his dad is stubborn but he is not a violent man. I was trying to think about some solutions but I feel in a quagmire. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If TB was an adult or if he was a belligerent teen, it would have been easier to advise him on what to do. But he is not, he is more of a nice kid, sometimes too nice for his own good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only suggestion is to keep talking to his dad, not break the communication. But aside from that, what could I say?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20047" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-03-09T19:38:59.470" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T06:34:19.730" Title="What advice can I give to a teen who wants to tell his dad uncomfortable truths?" Tags="|teen|parents|step-parents|extended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2750" CreationDate="2016-03-09T18:49:48.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Monitoring and/or blocking can work with younger children, and I don't see any problem with monitoring as long as you tell your children that they are being monitored. However at some point between the ages of 10 and 14, depending on intelligence, motivation and just how tightly you lock down the PC, they are going to be able to get to places on the Net you would probably rather they didn't. Even if your security is watertight, they will be visiting friends whose computers are not as tightly locked down, and there are these devices called thumb drives. These days an 8GB thumb drive costs around $10 and can hold several hours of HD movies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So rather than try to create a watertight seal around the bad bits of the Internet, I think you have to think about your own fears about what you are trying to protect them against, and what other strategies you can use. I'll outline predators and porn as examples here because they seem to be the commonest concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Against predators, I think the best option is to warn them there are bad people on line, and teach basic security and safety. Never give out your full name or address on line. Never trust anyone (unless they are an established physical-world friend) to be who or what they say they are. (My son's circle of friends at primary school went through a period of hacking each others Club Penguin accounts by shoulder-surfing, which also helped teach some basic lessons on security).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Against porn, you need to acknowledge that it exists, and make your own views clear (whatever they are). You also need to get the idea across that its got about as much connection with &quot;real&quot; sex as a James Bond movie has with real spying. Emphasise that if they have any worries about anything they do happen to see then you will listen and answer questions without judging them, the same as you would on any issue with sex.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-03-09T18:49:48.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24305" CreationDate="2016-03-09T18:56:57.460" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds to me this 4.5 year old was very attached her best friend that moved and is having trouble moving on as evidenced by her waiting for her friend. In this day and age, it should be possible to maintain a long distance friendship through Skype, FaceTime, Hangouts, etc. When I was younger, email wasn't so popular and webcams weren't cheap, my long distance friends and I used to write each other letters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The choices here are: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;help her continue to foster a friendship with her long-distance friend (which will explain why her friend isn't going to show up at the park), or&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;wait for time to heal her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chances are this child was already selective with her friends. To lose one of her inner circle is especially devastating. Encourage her to talk about how she is feeling instead of pushing her into another friend right away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastEditorUserId="21162" LastEditDate="2016-03-10T19:13:47.533" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T19:13:47.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24309" CreationDate="2016-03-09T19:11:00.390" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was about 12 years old, I faced a similar situation with my mother and her smoking in the house. My mother is a very stubborn woman, but loves her kids. We were learning about the dangers of second hand smoke in school. I talked my mother that I felt like her smoking in our house was endangering the health of myself and my sisters, as evidenced by the facts I got from school. I didn't attack her choice of smoking, but I did ask her to not harm my siblings as a side effect of her choice. My mother never quit smoking, but she did start smoking on the porch instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;My advice to arm yourself with facts about second hand smoke and address second hand smoking first&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastEditorUserId="21162" LastEditDate="2016-06-12T23:13:45.930" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T23:13:45.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24314" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-09T23:22:42.520" Score="1" ViewCount="282" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five year old can be challenging at times. She just started kindergarten this year and has improved with her behavior some, but still makes bad decisions that she knows better than to make. She can be disrespectful to adults at her school and think nothing of it. I don't understand! She is very strong willed and confident and maybe a little too confident at times! Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21332" LastEditorUserId="13335" LastEditDate="2016-03-11T20:43:51.140" LastActivityDate="2016-03-11T20:43:51.140" Title="Effective ways to discipline my 5 year old" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-10T05:47:19.533" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, a spoiled child will act spoiled, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based purely on your description, this child seems to have been deprived of even basic life lessons on decision making and consequences.  The examples of poor behavior you describe are much like what a toddler might do.  This philosophy might be the one I would apply with this kid:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;If this child were two years old, how would I handle the situation?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would mean going over basics like making choices and accepting the positive and negative outcomes, going to bed when it's time, not getting your way when you are acting ugly, etc.  Unfortunately, you'll be faced with a big difference in physical size and strength.  When a two year old kicks and screams, gets defiant, even throws things, it's manageable.  With a nine year old it will be much harder.  If he can overpower you, you have a serious problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it appears that you have no choice but to contain the developmental damage.  Since you are certain that the grandparents' coddling, and not &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; else, is the principal cause of this, and the grandparents are resolute in not changing their behavior, you as parents must protect your child from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your description is the truth, I see little choice but to &lt;strong&gt;cut off all access to the grandparents.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently this will be a departure from cultural norms and cause damage to one or both of your careers.  This is less important than your child's ability to function as an adolescent and adult.  And if you really are convinced that the grandparents are to blame, and that this is a threat to your child's development, you may even need to move away from them, so that time and distance separate them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I don't think all the blame can necessarily be placed at the grandparents' feet.  Not sending your child to visit the grandparents so much would impact your jobs?  This in itself is a serious problem.  &lt;em&gt;Maybe&lt;/em&gt; it's not the grandparents after all, or not entirely, and &lt;em&gt;maybe&lt;/em&gt; you should seek professional counseling and find out what's really going on here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7736" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T05:47:19.533" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-10T17:38:41.060" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;No.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not able to find a definitive definition for what a &quot;spoiled child&quot; is, but by common usage it's a child, who acts in specific manners, not consistent with his or her age.  I.e., a teenager who throws a tantrum because his or her parents don't accede to his or her desire for the latest and greatest gadget.  By analogy, a parent or grandparent who spoils a child is one who acts in such a way as to contribute to this behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, you &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; &quot;give a child everything&quot; without &quot;spoiling them.&quot;  The key is for the child to understand that he or she is not &lt;em&gt;entitled&lt;/em&gt; to the toys/gadgets/whatever and to ensure that your child knows what behavior is expected of him, what the consequences are if it's not forthcoming, and to follow through on that.  This is the way we've raised our children.  My wife and I were discussing it last night, and we rarely say &quot;no&quot; to our children (now teens).  However, when there is bratty behavior, we do enforce the consequences.  As a case in point, several months ago we grounded our younger son, which included confiscating his phone while he was at home and severely restricting his contact with his then-girlfriend.  We have not had to do this a second time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you and your husband need to do is discuss the issue with his parents and with a united front.  You appear to already be one up on most situations of this type I've seen--your husband already sees your child's behavior as inappropriate.  Frequently when one sees this behavior, it will be the &lt;em&gt;parent&lt;/em&gt; who (at least initially) views the child's behavior as appropriate and the &lt;em&gt;step-parent&lt;/em&gt; who views it as inappropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Edit&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on the OP's comment to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/24295/16470&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;, it appears that the issue may be more favoritism than simply spoiling the child (as observed by another commenter with whom I happen to agree).  This is even less acceptable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had this issue with our children.  My wife has one sibling, and during their childhood my mother-in-law would play favorites in order to keep them at odds with each other (the favorite varied).  She continues to do this today.  She also began doing this with our two children--i.e., she would consistently send our older son gifts for his birthday (or even at random), but would never send them to our younger son.  It got to the point where, at age 6 or 7, when another birthday rolled around without a gift from his grandmother (after his brother had received a nice gift a few months earlier), our younger son burst into tears, begging to know, &quot;Why doesn't my grandma like me?&quot;  Our solution was to contact her and tell her to either send gifts to both of them or neither of them; she responded by sending one gift to our younger son, then stopped sending them altogether.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether your stepdaughter seems to or not, she notices that brother gets all the gifts and she gets nothing.  And yes, at some level it almost certainly bothers her.  You need to stop this behavior for your stepson's sake (look at your brother-in-law to see where it can end up).  But you also need to stop it for your stepdaughter's sake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16470" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-03-11T17:15:12.830" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24297" CreationDate="2016-03-10T19:23:01.157" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The school should have a English as Second Language (ESL) type classes. You should contact them for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience, I started school in the United States at the age of 7 and didn't speak any English. While I did take ESL, the class wasn't as useful compared to full immersion in the new language. Now I speak English better than my mother tongue. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T19:23:01.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7724" CreationDate="2016-03-10T19:52:55.760" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are several reasons to think that the best thing you can do for your kids is indeed to switch the games constantly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;First, real life consists of constant changes of rules: driving rules, office rules, family rules, school rules, romantic relationship rules, sports rules, etc. So it is realistic to expect people to change the rules they are playing by constantly.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The prefrontal cortex, associated to self-control, can be trained by asking your brain to change the rules by which it works: for example, if you play a game of rule changing &quot;say red when I say green&quot;, and then &quot;say green when I say green&quot;, you are training your kids control of their own mind. Observe how kids' teachers, especially coaches, start sessions by playing these games to get kids into self-control, coach obedience mode: they will say run to the wall if I say &quot;one two three, run, sir!&quot; but don't run if I say &quot;one, two, three, run!&quot;...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Generally, you want to train your child to be able to quickly get a sense for the rules of any game. That type of 'neuroplasticity&quot; should in principle help them adapt to many challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastEditorUserId="13335" LastEditDate="2016-03-11T18:28:16.207" LastActivityDate="2016-03-11T18:28:16.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24305" CreationDate="2016-03-10T19:58:12.677" Score="1" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;At this age friendship is a lot about small talk. I would practice doing small talk with her: &quot;Hey, have you seen 'Star Wars'&quot;,&quot;Hey, nice shoes!&quot;. That simple step can get kids this age over the basic boundaries to friendship.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Playdates generate closeness. While in the US it is awkward for adults to invite each other to their homes until they know each other very well, for kids is very normal. Find a kid with something in common and then invite them over. That could break the ice, and give confidence to your child. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastEditorUserId="13335" LastEditDate="2016-03-11T18:25:57.850" LastActivityDate="2016-03-11T18:25:57.850" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24287" CreationDate="2016-03-10T20:08:05.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just read an article (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hs.fi/elama/a1456894533543&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Helsingin Sanomat 2016-03-03&lt;/a&gt;) about &quot;ten new commandments of raising a child&quot;. The article was based on the research by &lt;a href=&quot;http://incredibleyears.com/team-view/carolyn-webster-stratton/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Carolyn Webster-Stratton&lt;/a&gt; of the University of Washington. I'll translate some of the most relevant parts, you might be able to get the rest using Google Translate (or you can just ask for clarification).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(...)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Usually the starting point is that the child must change. Here we accept the fact that when a grown up changes their behavior, the child's behavior changes too.&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The underlying idea is that a child uses bad behavior to get attention. If they do not get it, they eventually stop the bad behavior. According to Karjalainen, many of their quirks can be ignored, such as complaints and fooling around at the table.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;You don't ignore the child, you only ignore their bad behavior. (...)&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(...)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The 10 new commandments of raising a child:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;1. Pay attention to good behavior&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Do not nag about bad behavior at the table. Instead compliment them when they sit still for a while.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;2. Play with the child every day - and do it right&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;When a child gets attention from a grown up with good behavior, they won't try to get it with bad behavior.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;3. Praise them a lot and targetedly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The bigger the behavioral problems, the smaller things you should compliment them about, like kindly waiting for something. The rule is to focus on the good.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&quot;Good girl&quot; is a vague compliment. &quot;It's great that you hang your coat&quot; is a focused compliment.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;4. Reward success&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A sticker chart is a good tool. Good behavior yields a sticker, and enough stickers earns a reward. It could, for example, be an extra bed time story, movie night together, a selected box of cereals, a picnic or a visit to the swimming hall.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;5. Give little orders but give them right&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Give only one order at a time, allow time for completing it, and be specific with the orders.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;6. Ignore the child&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Childrens' most common motivation for bad behavior is to get attention from a grown up. Even negative attention is rewarding for the child.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A child must really be convinced that the grown up just does not notice the behavior.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Ignoring works best when applied to one or two bad behaviors at a time. Not all bad behavior can be ignored all the time. The child must be explained that from now on parents will ignore this or that bad behavior completely.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;7. Point out that actions have consequences&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Before a consequence you give the child a warning and a chance to choose good behavior.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Consequences may not produce shame or pain. They must be executed kindly.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;8. Encourage problem solving&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Teach the child that all problems have multiple solutions from which the best one should be chosen.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;9. Teach the child friendship skills&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;10. Teach the child to control behavior, not feelings&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;All feelings are allowed, even if some feel nicer than others. Don't mitigate their feelings by saying &quot;don't cry&quot; or &quot;don't be mad&quot;. Teach them how to behave when they are sad or angry.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I did not come up with these &quot;rules&quot;, but I read about them in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hs.fi/elama/a1456894533543&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this article&lt;/a&gt; and just translated some of the highlights here. The article makes sense to me and I feel you could apply its lessons in your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21355" LastActivityDate="2016-03-10T20:08:05.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24305" CreationDate="2016-03-10T23:59:31.167" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It gets 'on their nerves' that their daughter is lonely and not making friends? A strange way to put it. I'm sure she's not doing it to annoy her parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps the park isn't the best place to be trying to get her to socialize. She may associate it just with specific other friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What about enrolling her in dancing, music, or art classes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's in a different environment, doing different things, she won't have the expectation that she will see her friend there, so may be more inclined to interact with others. Even if she doesn't immediately start making new friends she'll hopefully be leaning new fun things and gaining confidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a good idea to try to expand a child's social circle. Give them opportunities to associate with a lot of different groups of people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-03-11T00:51:27.473" LastActivityDate="2016-03-11T00:51:27.473" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24328" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-11T05:27:23.557" Score="4" ViewCount="485" Body="&lt;p&gt;My grand daughter is a week old and already can lift her head off her mattress or your shoulder and turn it the other way. Is this advanced?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21362" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-14T12:52:29.363" LastActivityDate="2019-04-15T23:42:48.343" Title="One week old lifts and turns head" Tags="|newborn|development|milestones|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24329" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24314" CreationDate="2016-03-11T19:59:18.157" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In general, kids are often looking to test boundaries of grab attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So two basic principles are 1) to establish transparently clear  boundaries, as in listing a very short, limited set of words that are not acceptable at home; and 2) to keep emotions and attention to the minimum in response to behavior you want to limit and instead reward good behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also let her be in charge of herself and ask her to find herself, be proud of herself, be better than before, the best she can. This type of 'ownership' of her own behavior might put it in a different perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, there's a 'character development' set of tools that can be useful: &#xA; there's books, cards, etc. with short stories about honor, respect, patience, perseverance, teamwork, etc and how they are valuable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-03-11T19:59:18.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24336" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-12T08:23:58.840" Score="5" ViewCount="6854" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a tech support job that requires me to be paged (via sms) at various times in the night. I have a somewhat subtle ringtone that slowly increases in volume but I'm still concerned that it may wake my newborn child (who will be sleeping in the same room as me for at least the first month or two).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there other solutions for this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20899" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T20:04:29.127" Title="How can I be awoken from sleep without waking newborn in the same room?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24338" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-12T13:27:41.390" Score="4" ViewCount="2104" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 4+ years old. We used to take her with us wherever we went until recently when we had a doctor's appointment around 10PM. We wanted her to stay home with her uncle because taking her out at that time didn't seem good for her. She usually goes to bed around 10 to 11 PM. Her uncle leaves with us and loves/cares her a lot. But surprisingly she was extemely reluctant to let us go without her. We offered her all those things she usually craves for, like unlimited cartoons, games and what not, but all this stuff got completely worthless compared to our companionship. (My daughter complains less when my mom comes to visit us.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On that day we eventually managed to leave without her. But later we got to know that she cried a lot, also vomited. But after like half an hour she stopped crying and started watching cartoons. Today we again have a doctor's appointment around the same time and we have already informed her about this. She again seems so sad and is crying from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am confused about is, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I really listen to her and take with us wherever we go? Isn't she old enough to stay without us for a couple of hours?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Am I doing any harm to her by forcing her to stay back at home? Or is it good for her because she is learning how to handle such sadness?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really hard for us to see her in this state, so unless we are really doing a favor to her, I don't want to let her cry. So please suggest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3124" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-04T15:25:10.427" LastActivityDate="2019-02-04T15:25:10.427" Title="Should we leave our daughter at home with her uncle if she then cries?" Tags="|pre-schooler|crying|separation|extended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24339" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-12T16:55:35.943" Score="8" ViewCount="1863" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a 16 year old teenager growing up in Texas. My dad was (up until now) a really good dad.  We used to do stuff together, but that has changed in the last couple of years or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have a good outlook on school.  I see it as a somewhat repetitive thing I go to get a pseudo-imaginary score based on some irrelevant papers we do everyday.  Due to this, over the course of several years, I've tended to drop out of several advanced classes, notably Algebra 1 in 8th grade. I know I'm not going to college, and the &quot;think about your future argument&quot; doesn't really work for me. Although I tend to do bad on my normal grades, but I tend to get above 95% on all my tests.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My outlook has been making my dad somewhat mad, mainly because it &quot;makes him look like an idiot&quot; (which really means that he doesn't understand my logic behind it).  It's getting to the point where he'll just say &quot;Get the fuck out of my sight&quot; everytime I even cross the hallway to get something.  It's starting to get to the point where he's taking all my stuff away, which doesn't really affect me.  This makes him more mad.  He also tried kicking me out a few times, but due to the circumstances with my mother and the rest of my family, he can't do legally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do admit that a couple of weeks ago we had a pretty big fight, which I actually posted on Parenting SE, but we resolved it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I get him to calm down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20957" LastEditorUserId="20047" LastEditDate="2016-06-09T11:38:41.453" LastActivityDate="2017-07-21T11:58:01.280" Title="I want to dropout of HS yet my dad is mad at my decision" Tags="|education|teen|school|life-skills|father|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24340" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-13T01:03:54.683" Score="7" ViewCount="12566" Body="&lt;p&gt;For several reasons my daughter had to be weaned off breast milk when she was around 14 months. At that point she was not eating well and lost a lot of weight. One pediatrician recommended we give her PediaSure, and that was the only food she drank consistently (she didn't even take regular milk). And by giving her 2-3 bottles of that a day we slowly brought her weight back up to almost normal for her age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she is 20 months old and still drinks that amount, but recently I read some articles saying that stuff is full of sugar and chemicals and has been linked to food allergies (one of my younger brothers also has severe food allergies and drank that stuff at that age).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are extremely busy and we have 2 other kids (one even younger than her). We try our best to feed her solids but she almost always refuses to eat, even when we let hours pass and leave her in hunger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should we stick to PediaSure since it's keeping her going or should we wean her off it? If it is the latter, what can we give her instead or how can we make her eat? Just as we are concerned about giving her too much PediaSure we are also concerned about her losing weight again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sorry for asking two questions in one. If you can answer even one that would be greatly appreciated. Of course we will talk to our doctor but any additional guidance or tips will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-09T17:11:16.727" LastActivityDate="2018-09-09T17:11:16.727" Title="Is PediaSure okay for toddlers and if not how to get them off it?" Tags="|toddler|health|eating|babyfood|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24341" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-13T16:20:26.120" Score="8" ViewCount="4681" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We have 4 kids (2 are from previous relationships.) My daughter is the oldest at 14. Her biological dad isn't around, so my husband is the only father she knows and she calls him dad. We're both new to teenagers. He's kind of the enforcer, and I guess you could say I'm the good cop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recently left her and her 13-year-old brother at home alone so we could take our twins to the store for their birthday. While we were gone, she invited one of her friends over (she wasn't supposed to, and she knew it, yet she still did it.) She's never broken the rules before and is usually very responsible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband and her got in to it when we got home, and he grounded her for 1 week but it ended up 2 weeks because she kept on with her back talking. Well it's been about a week and they have barely said two words to each other. Today they got in to it again and he said if I don't do something he was going to leave. We usually present a united front when it comes to the kids due to the fact that they outnumber us. I told my daughter I needed her to quit running her mouth and it's got to stop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he's not talking to me, and my daughter doesn't understand what's wrong and why she's grounded. I don't like being in the middle and don't know what to do; if I don't do anything my other kids will begin to speak the same way to us and my husband might leave. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21388" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-19T17:29:24.693" LastActivityDate="2019-08-19T17:29:24.693" Title="What to do when there's a conflict between my husband and my 14-year-old daughter?" Tags="|discipline|teen|parents|conflict|blended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24341" CreationDate="2016-03-13T16:44:48.300" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;So there is a lot going on here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to set aside the fact that he's not her biological father - this is something that teenagers do to &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; authority figure, biological or not. (They actually do it at any age, they just get better at it as they get older...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's start with your daughter: what she's doing is extremely typical. It's stressful, but you should be relieved to know that it's perfectly normal and, in a way, isn't a bad thing. I mean, you don't want her going through life always taking orders and never pushing the limits, do you? And if she's going to push too far, wouldn't you rather it be with people who love her like you and your husband do than with someone who will hurt her emotionally, physically, or financially? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not to say that because it's normal you should let it continue. On the contrary, what's great about this is it helps her to learn real cause and effect. Speaking of causes, while this is normal, it doesn't just happen out of the blue. You have to find out why she's doing this and get to the bottom of it. Keep in mind it might be something trivial, blown out of proportion, or simply a misconception about how the world works, so try not to be judgemental when you really get to the bottom of what's going on. Asking little bro what is going on might give some insight, too, just don't push him too hard because you don't want her to lose trust in him if she has it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, to your husband, I completely identify with him. I'm the 'bad cop' to my two daughters, while their mother is the 'good cop'. (It doesn't help that the spoilers-in-chief, grandma and grandpa, live in the basement, but that's another story ;-) ...) He needs to open up to you about how he feels, and I can tell you this isn't easy. Not to get any lectures about stereotypical gender roles, but us bad-cop-dads have been trained for years by our society to hide our feelings. It's something I have spent the last six years trying to fight and change with my wife's support, but it's really really hard. So be very understanding and expect some venting from him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said that normally you two have a unified front - why is this situation any different? Find out from him how he feels and come up with a plan. Having a calm meeting between the three of you might help too. Having a game-plan for you two going into it is probably a good idea, but don't script the whole thing: you don't want her to feel like you two are ganging up on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, to you - I know you said you hate being in the middle of it all, but if they're fighting, someone has to bring them together. I noticed your question is a little jumbled. It isn't really structured which leads me to think you might not have had the chance to really process this all. Take a time out, breathe deep, and remember: you got this. This could be much, much worse. There's no violence, there's no running away, there's no law breaking. Not to sound too mushy, if you keep cool and bring the family back together with love, you'll all get through it together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2016-03-13T16:44:48.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24345" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-14T09:12:20.403" Score="60" ViewCount="13154" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am regularly called on to arbitrate in the on-going dispute between 8-year-old daughter and her mother about how many layers to wear when going outside in the cold. Mum&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt; says &quot;More&quot;, daughter says &quot;I'm not cold&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what age should you just let them get on with it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Is there ever an age when you shouldn't?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt;As one particularly self-aware father once said: &quot;Put your coat on, I'm cold!&quot;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="691" LastEditorUserId="6984" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T06:33:49.703" LastActivityDate="2017-07-12T13:33:37.027" Title="From what age should one heed &quot;But I'm not cold!&quot;?" Tags="|playground|" AnswerCount="11" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24338" CreationDate="2016-03-14T10:08:33.740" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is 4+ years old, she is quite old enough to have an opinion of her own (though it may not always be practical to follow it). So first, ask her why she is unhappy? Maybe it is something with her uncle; maybe she is not used to being without her parents; maybe something about the place scare her (no light in the bedroom or something like that). Could be a thousand things, so ask her. Do that in a private moment, when she is alert and in a good mood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To address your questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Should I really listen her and take with us wherever we go? Isn't she&#xA;  older enough to stay without us for couple of hours?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, you should not take her with you wherever you go - that would not be practical. What if you have an appointment where you are alone and child care is not available?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes, in general four years is plenty old enough to be without parents for a while. As a matter of fact, there is probably no minimum age - some children start daycare a few months after birth, and while there is some controversy about that, there is at least no clear evidence of any harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Am I doing any harm to her by forcing her to stay back in home? Or its&#xA;  good for her because she is learning how to handle such sadness?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That depends on circumstances. It is normal for children to complain, at least sometimes, when parents leave. But if the problems persist, and if she does not recover quickly after you are gone, there &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; be a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your daughter, talk to your uncle (ideally both together and separately), then decide. Also, take note of whether the problems only occur with her uncle, or also with other people she stays with, that might tell you something (though it still may or may not be your uncle's fault).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T10:08:33.740" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-03-14T10:29:22.713" Score="38" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an almost universal dispute between mothers and children. Children are terrible judges of appropriate clothing; they frequently resist bringing adequate layers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My policy is to let them make that bad choice a few times, and they will naturally self-correct after being cold and miserable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Don't overthink it everyone. Yes, child can get hypothermia in very cold, or restful setting (sleeping in very cold environment outside of sleeping bag, waiting for bus in very cold weather). But playing or walking outside in moderately cold, even slightly freezing temperature, core temperature will remain elevated due to physical activity. And if their core temperature starts to lower or even even extremities (arms) start to get cold, they are very likely to ask to put coat back on -- especially if it is close by / outside with them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note:&lt;/em&gt; if child is falling asleep, or waiting calmly at bus stop in cold, of course you urge or insist that they put coat on. That's a different situation &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Rationale&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;The reason I like this approach is because it removes unnecessary conflict. Instead of child resisting purely because power struggle emerges as you try to force them to put coat on when they don't feel cold in the moment (you can't make me!), it lets them put coat on when they get cold as they slow down / stop running around. And over time, they will associate coat with comfort, not conflict. Self-solving problem as long as you don't make it a habitual conflict. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastEditorUserId="16337" LastEditDate="2016-03-14T16:11:22.073" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T16:11:22.073" CommentCount="26" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-03-14T10:48:09.780" Score="89" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should listen to your child as soon as they are able to offer an opinion. This is true even if the child is wrong.  (Note that listening to a child is not the same as following the child's wishes.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here it sounds like there's some argument between the child and a parent.  The parent knows it's cold outside, and tells the child to put a coat on.  The child is in a warm home, and so doesn't see the need for a coat.  In this situation the parent can just take the coat with them, and offer it to the child when they're outside and the child realises how cold it is and that they need a coat.  This makes life easier for everyone.  It encourages the child to make their own decisions.  It respects the rights of the child. It avoids arguments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In these kinds of situations - where the decision is easy to change; where harm is unlikely; where other people aren't being disrupted - there's no good reason to ignore the child's wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T10:48:09.780" CommentCount="18" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24349" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24354" CreationDate="2016-03-14T13:53:47.663" Score="26" ViewCount="7598" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today my 7-year old child was caught stealing in their classroom. They suffer from light Asperger's, so I'm not sure that they even notice having done something wrong. I'm not eager to punish my child since in the past I've noticed that punishment doesn't change much. What can I do to prevent something similar from happening again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21393" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2016-03-16T10:04:17.813" LastActivityDate="2016-03-28T16:02:58.690" Title="7-year old with Asperger's caught stealing - how to deal with that?" Tags="|discipline|social-development|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24349" CreationDate="2016-03-14T14:14:44.693" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child may not realize that what they did was wrong, but if you don't teach them that taking things belonging to others is wrong, they won't learn (others might assume they've learnt that at home), and will face more difficulty in the future for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Punishments are meant to hurt somehow; you don't need to punish them. You do need to talk with them and explain/teach as you would to any seven year old why it's wrong. Kids with mild Asperger's don't have cognitive impairments; they certainly can learn what behaviors will result in undesirable consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this was the first time, I would just talk to them and let it go at that (plus an apology to those affected.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it happens again, more conversation needs to take place about boundaries (what is theirs and what isn't) and what consequences they will encounter if they repeat the behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting appropriate consequences is a challenging part of parenting. In my home, consequences were proportional to the &quot;infraction&quot; and were directly related to it. Repairing any damage done was also required: replacing something out of their own money, apologies if appropriate, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="14535" LastEditDate="2016-03-14T19:56:39.463" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T19:56:39.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24336" CreationDate="2016-03-14T14:31:17.803" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Smart bands or smart watches as mentioned in the comments are an excellent method (as they can vibrate you awake).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to add white noise to the room to help keep the sound from bothering your newborn.  A fan, for example, or a white noise generator (some alarm clocks serve this dual purpose!).  This would make it more likely that the newborn not be as bothered by the sound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you should likely be used to the fact that your newborn &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; wake up sometimes when you get up. You'll also find, though, that usually children will simply go back to sleep with a bit of soothing - and if they don't, they likely would've awoken anyway (needing feeding/changing/etc.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that newborns need this sort of attention every few hours anyway, it may be worth working that into your wake up from tech support page routine: wake up, check if baby is wet, if baby won't immediately soothe get a bottle, etc.  This may actually help your baby get a better night's sleep overall if you're being proactive about these kinds of issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T14:31:17.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24352" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-03-14T14:39:15.000" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the answers given, for the most part. At 8, the child is probably not under-dressing to make a fashion statement. The worst thing that might happen is someone is left lugging around an extra layer (isn't that partly what parents are for? ;)) and everyone learns. Eventually stop lugging around the layers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to respect a child's decisions. If she was mistaken and wants her coat back, and you point it out to her, you should consider applying the same principle to yourself and admit when &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; was right. That's one way of showing respect. (If you don't point out her mistakes, you can give yourself the same slack for minor things.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, the worst thing that might happen is not a cold or pneumonia. People might be uncomfortable when chilled, but it doesn't make them ill. This is an old old-wives tale, taking many forms: don't go out into the cold while it's raining, or without a hat, with wet hair, without a warm coat or scarf, without boots, etc., &quot;or you'll catch your death of cold.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If this is why your wife wants more layers, not less, you can tell her the following:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been studied extensively. A New York Times article describes one such uncomfortable-sounding study:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In the 1950's, Chicago researchers repeated the experiment on a larger scale with several hundred volunteers sitting in their socks and underwear in a 60-degree room before being inoculated with infectious mucus. Others, in coats, hats and gloves, spent two hours in a large freezer. The conclusion: all 253 chilled volunteers caught cold at exactly the same rate as 175 members of a warm control group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, being cold had no effect on &lt;em&gt;catching&lt;/em&gt; a cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 1968 experiment studied the effect of (among other methods of chilling) a cold water bath at several stages during and after inoculation with rhinovirus (one of the many viruses responsible for the common cold). No effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet the studies continue, because anything shown to decrease the incidence of the common cold would be beneficial to the sufferers, as in the US alone, 75 to 100 million physician visits are due to the common cold, and millions of days are lost from school and work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But what has never been proven is that getting chilled in any way causes one to come down with a cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/04/science/you-ll-catch-your-death-an-old-wives-tale-well.html&quot;&gt;'You'll Catch Your Death!' An Old Wives' Tale? Well...&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejm196810032791404&quot;&gt;Exposure to Cold Environment and Rhinovirus Common Cold — Failure to Demonstrate Effect&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&amp;amp;q=effect+of+body+temperature+and+rhinovirus+infection&amp;amp;btnG=&amp;amp;as_sdt=1%2C39&amp;amp;as_sdtp=&quot;&gt;Acute cooling of the body surface and the common cold&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-03-14T15:33:29.730" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T15:33:29.730" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24353" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24338" CreationDate="2016-03-14T14:58:11.993" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter sounds a lot like my older son.  He's also four, and he's also very much attached to us.  He won't do things that he considers fun - like gymnastics class, soccer, etc. - unless mommy or daddy is participating with him (not even hanging out nearby, we have to be next to him).  He's a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; independent child in every other way - and if you get him away from us, he acts extremely independently, like at pre-school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I figure it comes from a few things.  One is insecurity and abandonment issues with new things - as many children are.  He does &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; better when he's familiar with the environment and familiar with the person. As such, we try to put him in positions where he will succeed. We give him a chance to meet teachers/etc. ahead of time. We take him to places before he's asked to separate from us. We spend a great deal of time prepping him for anything that will be significant. This works fairly well; but, he still has a day or two of significant difficulty as he adjusts to new things (30-60 minutes of difficulty).  Us coming to pick him up on time every day is of course also a major plus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second issue is likely that he wants to have a lot of attention, and when we're not around he doesn't get it as much (of course!).  He knows this, so he resists being put in situations where he won't get that attention. This has become less of a big deal as he ages - and we have a second younger child, so this also has undoubtedly helped and hurt both, but on balance helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The attention issue is more complicated to work with, but we've found that simply putting him in more situations where he doesn't have the high degree of attention - whether it be preschool, gymnastics class, etc. - seems to help to some degree.  Giving him plenty of attention when he is around us is also good, in my opinion, as it helps keep him assured that he will get our attention when we can give it - but giving him lots of opportunities to learn that he can be successful without our attention is needed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Letting him know that he can do things on his own, but not pushing too hard, has worked quite well there. For example, for the last six months or so, I've suggested that when he needs to go to the bathroom in a restaurant, and it's visible from the table, that he simply go. This was a silly suggestion six months ago, but I never pushed hard; simply letting him do it if he wants to. In the last few weeks, he's started to be willing to - not every time, but still, sometimes, particularly when it's in his interest to do so (like, when I was carrying his sleeping brother and couldn't leave the table last week).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your particular situation, I would suggest a bit more familiarization with the uncle if that is a possible issue (if this isn't someone she already spends a reasonably large amount of time with), prepping her for the situation (letting her know all of the details a few different times in advance), and then... going.  She may cry, she may have a hard time, but she'll also learn.  Perhaps a few shows that discuss this sort of issue - there is a Daniel Tiger episode that's excellent, with the repeated song/phrase &quot;Grown ups always come back&quot;, for example; many other shows cover similar issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might also talk to the uncle, and make sure he is engaging her. A four year old does need engagement, perhaps not constantly, but periodically. Find something fun they can do together - maybe a game (there are lots of games that I find fun to play that my kids do also; games like &lt;em&gt;Spot It&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;Memory&lt;/em&gt; for example, which is at least mildly challenging for the adult. Or if the uncle has a particular interest, perhaps he could teach her about that interest - anything is interesting to a four year old, be it historical interests, woodworking, fixing cars, whatever he is interested in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T14:58:11.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24349" CreationDate="2016-03-14T15:13:50.040" Score="44" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone with mild Asperger's, I think I can shed some insight onto this situation. Let's look at what happened, as well as giving some ways to prevent this type of behavior in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Event&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a 7-year-old, your child should already have a basic sense of right and wrong - don't hit others, be nice to their parents and teacher, etc. Where the line blurs for some young children is the concept of ownership. While this is a naturally learned boundary for the vast majority of children, Asperger's causes most of those &quot;natural&quot; boundaries to be formed differently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;So what does this mean?&lt;/em&gt; As we often assume normal development in most children, it's likely that the &quot;normal&quot; boundaries were never especially reinforced for your child. Concepts like ownership boundaries are complex, but Asperger's artificially tries to &quot;simplify&quot; it. That is, your child created their own boundary that &quot;makes sense&quot; to them. Phrases like: &lt;code&gt;I need/want this object, therefore a classmate wouldn't mind if I took it&lt;/code&gt; or &lt;code&gt;Sally wouldn't mind if I took her pen because I don't mind if someone took my pen&lt;/code&gt; are all possible configurations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mind-Blindness&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was a concept I was introduced to in order to better explain the &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; of Asperger's. Basically, mind-blindness is the core of Asperger's. Take a look at this situation, for example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sally has a choice to hide a ball under one of three objects: a box, a chair, and a table. She chooses the box and leaves. Not long after, Adam enters the room. Where does he look for the ball first?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When tested on questions like this one, children with Asperger's would almost always answer &quot;the box&quot;. Why? Because Sally put the ball under the box, of course! Mind-blindness is the inability to think of &quot;the other side&quot; of things, such as in terms like &lt;code&gt;Billy should know where the ball is because I know where the ball is.&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your case, your child made an incorrect conclusion - assuming that taking something that wasn't theirs was okay - with other people's feelings that, to them, made perfect sense. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Learning From Mistakes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seven years old is still very young. Your child is learning a lot at this age, possibly in more ways than one. This incident can shed some insight into how your child thinks. They can also re-learn certain concepts from teachers and their parents, such as boundaries of ownership. If you haven't already, I highly recommend getting &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1843106698&quot;&gt;Tony Attwood's &lt;em&gt;The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; or his &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1853025771&quot;&gt;guide for parents.&lt;/a&gt; Both of these books summarize classic symptoms and gives parents insight on how to solve problems with their child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This incident is a prime opportunity to better understand what your child is thinking, and how you can plan ahead for the future. &lt;em&gt;Keep in mind that this works both ways - you and your child both benefit from understanding one another.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Punishments&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with any child, it is very important to reinforce concepts of right and wrong. @anongoodnurse explains it best - the child should be told that what he did was wrong, and reinforce that if it happens again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To add to this, though, it is vital that you properly explain &lt;em&gt;why you're punishing them&lt;/em&gt;. Sitting down and having a discussion is important for children with Asperger's, as it gives them an opportunity to talk and explain themselves. From there, you can demonstrate the &quot;correct&quot; behavior for the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17510" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T15:13:50.040" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24341" CreationDate="2016-03-14T17:22:20.087" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;[on phone so excuse misspellings]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As corsiKa pointed out, there are a lot of feelings and complexities and personalities in play here. It is hard to answer your question without more information. Some very general thoughts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He's kind of the enforcer, and I guess you could say I'm the good cop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) He may be tired of always being the &quot;bad guy&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) He may have wanted you to step up for a while, and is finally boiling over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;my husband and her&lt;/strong&gt; got into it when we got home, and &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; grounded her for 1 week&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where were you while this was going on? I'm guessing your position is encapsulated in this statement right here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;she's never broken the rules before and is usually very responsible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your position seems to be one of secret defense of your daughter. You agree that she should not run her smart-mouth off (&quot;I told my daughter I need her to quit running her mouth and it's got to stop.&quot;) but in the secret places of your heart, you think your husband is overreacting on the no-friends-over thing. (I.e.: Yes, she did a bad thing, but she's mostly pretty good, so no biggie, right?&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Now he's not talking talk to me, and my daughter doesn't understand what's wrong or why she's grounded. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course she doesn't. She's a teenager, and they always believe that they are the wounded party in every situation, always. And if I'm right about the above, she detects a soft stop in you, and is working that distance between you and your husband to her advantage, reinforcing herself as the wounded party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Conclusions?&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Here's my best guess, given the information at hand. Your husband &lt;em&gt;probably&lt;/em&gt; feels like he is alone in hostile territory. He has a teenager rolling her eyes and complaining about how unfair he is (and depending on her maturity level, stomping her feet, and bitching on social media about how mean he is, and possibly saying hurtful things like, &quot;you're not my dad!&quot;). Teenagers are stressful and emotionally exhausting and have zero self-awareness at how hurtful their actions can be. And, he may additionally feel some angst and self-doubt because she is not his biological child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On top of that, his wife does not have his back. Oh, sure, you are trying to remain neutral, but to quote a Latin truism: &quot;Qui tacet consentire videtur,&quot; or in English, &quot;Silence implies consent.&quot;  Your possible silence on the matter of her inviting friends over implies your consent to her behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His ultimatum is extreme, but he probably feels overwhelmed and alone in enemy territory. It sounds like communication is not his strong suit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Recommendations&lt;/strong&gt; &#xA;Again, without more details, it is difficult to make recommendations. There is some communication that needs to happen between you and your husband. Your husband's initial punishment is firm but not extreme. He's possibly afraid of worst-case scenarios like that she is going to invite boys over when you guys are gone and have sex (and get pregnant, move into a trailer, and go on welfare, etc) or whatever. He's possibly trying to nip things in the bud. Especially if he was wild when he was a teenager / snuck into girls houses when their parents were gone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One technique to try to understand his position is to do some &quot;perception checking&quot;. There are lots of resources on the web on how to do perception checking. But basically describe the behavior you don't understand in a neutral, non-judge mental manner, and then ask questions. Don't defend or justify yourself; try to get to the bottom of his thoughts and feelings before you respond (with love).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, if your husband is so frustrated with the situation that he feels he needs to leave, then this has probably been festering for some time. Consider marriage counseling. If that is impossible, then consider getting some books about marriage self-help (eg men are from Mars, women from Venus, etc). In the meantime, try to make him feel your support him as much as you can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T17:22:20.087" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24357" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-14T17:25:45.133" Score="4" ViewCount="201" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a nanny for a family that has two children, one boy age 4 and one girl age 2. The 4 year old goes to school and I have one on one time with the 2 year old. The parents wanted me to start potty training her. She turned 2 a month earlier, and I thought it was too early but they insisted so I started the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried a couple different ways then found a method that worked really really well. I would set an alarm to go off every 45 minutes, and when it did she would sit on the potty for around 10 minutes or until she went. After a week of doing this she was asking to go on her own whenever she needed to. I expanded the alarm to go off every 2 hours, and soon realized that she didn't really need the alarm any more because she was automatically going when she needed to. She still went at night when sleeping, but during the day she was perfectly fine. This went on for probably 2 months. She was completely dry all day everyday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, all of a sudden, after I came back from having a 3 day weekend, she was refusing, and not wanting to go potty. She would scream &quot;no!!&quot; &quot;I don't want to!!&quot; I asked the parents about it and they said she started refusing some that weekend as well. I started doing the alarm system that previously worked well and she throws a fit and cries. I put her on the potty anyways and sometimes she will go pee. She will not ask to go anymore; it's like I'm starting at square one and not making and progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been going on for a month. The parents are not helpful and say &quot;keep on it, she'll get it again!&quot; Any ideas on what to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21396" LastEditorUserId="1693" LastEditDate="2016-03-18T10:42:17.863" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T10:42:17.863" Title="2 year old that was going potty, and asking to go everyday for 3 weeks straight then all of a sudden resisting going" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24336" CreationDate="2016-03-14T20:04:29.127" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, newborns wake up if they are hungry, but not always from 'normal' noises. If you have a subtle, not jarring ringtone, I would wait and see what happens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of my children sleep through just about anything, and still do (once they actually do sleep...). When we had our second child, after 6 months we moved him to the same room as his brother. He was still waking once or twice at night, crying. His brother, used to random noises, slept like a rock. I think at this time it will take a Fire Alarm to wake them up :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The more you can train your children to sleep through random noises the better. When mine were still napping, I didn't have to worry about loud music or lawn mowers or leaf blowers or similar. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of it is inborn, but I think you can get them more used to sleep through a little noise or alarm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T20:04:29.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24362" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24339" CreationDate="2016-03-14T20:31:00.553" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's pretty hard for a parent to accept their child not going to college nowadays. There are lower number of job opportunities for a high school graduate and the pay is lower. My guess is your dad isn't very happy about your career move and doesn't know how to articulate it. My advice for you is two part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My career advice is try some college courses online for FREE through edX, Coursera, Udacity, etc and see how you like it. Can you talk to a professor at a local university and see if you can sit in on his/her class? Volunteer at the hospital or talk with current older PNAs. See if the PNAs like their jobs and what kind of education they had. Then start budgeting how you much need to make to maintain your current lifestyle if you didn't live at home and worked as a PNA. Will you have to rent the rest of your life? Will you be about to afford your own home? What about how you might support your future family if you would like to have one? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice for handling your dad is to talk to him. Show him you have a plan. Show him your budget and the research you have done. Show him that you are capable of making a decision like a responsible individual.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: Also jobs with just a high school degree will be more likely to be categorize as repetitive, which is exactly what you didn't like about school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastEditorUserId="21162" LastEditDate="2016-03-15T17:39:23.930" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T17:39:23.930" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24339" CreationDate="2016-03-14T22:18:20.210" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm all for not going to college, but I'm way more for not working. As someone who thought that same thing let me warn you that after school you know what's there? work. tons of it and not always in a good way. It's a lot harder to go back than it is to go with it from high school. From my friends that went, it's not really the degree as much as the life experience, connections, and in general the atmosphere of college that you may never get to know if you choose to not go. Not really like the movies portray, don't get me wrong. But as one who went right from high school into the work force (even a very good job) I think back on it now and wonder how much I would have enjoyed going to college with my friends, doing whatever college kids do, and maybe avoiding the intensely difficult path of carving your way to an existence that doesn't involve desperation, settling for anything you can get, and generally just getting by.&#xA;I did well in the end. Well enough I suppose. It is possible, but it was an intense challenge that required a lot more will power and perseverance than it would have taken if I had gone to college, at least for an AA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To counterpoint, most people I know don't use their degree. The only person in my field I know with a real computer science degree was one of the worst programmers we hired. It doesn't guarantee anything, but it might help get you far enough where your personality and charisma take you the rest of the way. In the beginning, if getting a job is what you want, we're all just text on paper. These days, you'll probably be looked up on facebook or whatever and judged there as well. But if you have a passion, think about whether or not you can pursue that with college, without, and what you wouldn't mind learning about if that doesn't pan out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents could see there was no use arguing with me about it. I just continued to do my own thing and it was accepted eventually. I did talk to them but in limited scope. I'd say the same things you sound like you're saying but they never got mad about it. It may have all been in the approach though. Arguing won't help. If it turns into an argument then maybe you can just nod and say ok then, walking off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be your decision one way or another. Just think about what you're really choosing if you choose not to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T22:18:20.210" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24270" CreationDate="2016-03-14T22:37:56.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all: It is always hard to stop with breast feeding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the night however and for sure at the age of your daughter there is quite quickly no need for any drinking during the night even with breast feeding (for younger kids please ask a specialist when this starts). It is however more likely that sleeping through the night takes longer when breast feeding. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your issue however seems to be more about habits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume your child falls asleep with mom. Maybe even with or shortly after breastfeeding. This is the setup she needs to fall asleep again also during the night. She is just used to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**If you want your daughter to fall asleep during the night without breast feeding or even without your wife or you she has to train on this. And you can help her with this.  **&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is when they can't talk yet it's easier, they can't really drag you into &quot;discussions&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This book helped us a lot:&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3399317-5-days-to-a-perfect-night-s-sleep-for-your-child&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3399317-5-days-to-a-perfect-night-s-sleep-for-your-child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important according to me is a good night time routine: Get calmer till the end of the day, do the same things in the same order. The child will naturally understand / know that it's about sleeping time, because it will go to bed after all that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The falling asleep on their own can be tough in the beginning.  However most important again: consistancy. The situation when the child wakes during the night should be very close or the same as when falling asleep, that helps them to fall asleep even on their own.&#xA;So if you intend not to be there during the night you'd better not be there when your child falls asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20926" LastActivityDate="2016-03-14T22:37:56.413" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24366" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-14T23:21:33.117" Score="4" ViewCount="486" Body="&lt;p&gt;Swimming lessons are available from 6 months, but i suspect they do not learn much there or at not any more than just taking them to play in the pool. When will they benefit from swimming lessons more than just playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The objective of the swimming lessons is so that they can play safely in water and also if they fall in somewhere they can get out on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21407" LastEditorUserId="21407" LastEditDate="2016-03-15T06:13:04.243" LastActivityDate="2022-10-26T14:21:36.747" Title="At what age should children start taking swimming lessons?" Tags="|development|swimming|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14193" CreationDate="2016-03-15T00:08:07.557" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my child was released from the NICU they told me the max was two hours in a carseat for him. So you should be good to go ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21408" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T00:08:07.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3373" CreationDate="2016-03-15T08:42:27.627" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an old question but I thought I would add another website to the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We &lt;a href=&quot;https://MandalaFree.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://MandalaFree.com&lt;/a&gt; at our house. It has adult and kids Mandalas and we enjoy coloring and bonding with our 5 year old daughter. It seems to settle her down after a big day and helps the adults too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21413" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T08:42:27.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24370" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24349" CreationDate="2016-03-15T12:04:59.780" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You explain that taking stuff from people that own it is wrong and that your child should not do it again.  If your Asperger is more than just a popular diagnosis, this will be all it takes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may make your child overreact completely when others take something from him/her or someone else and/or expect him/her to share, and you may have to deal with that at some later point of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That may end up a lot more work and ongoing effort than stopping the stealing from your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'd try avoiding overdemonizing what happened.  Save the bigger guns for repeat offenses.  Aspergers tend to cater themselves for blowing stuff (of the kind that can be governed by rules rather than per-case empathy) out of proportion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21415" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T12:04:59.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24366" CreationDate="2016-03-15T14:09:12.883" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;They benefit starting at an early age by having water be a natural part of their life. If water / water sports / boating etc is a big part of your life, having them comfortable with water is a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The downside is, having no fear of water, until they do learn to swim they are at risk because water is a fun thing that they are not careful around. A toddler losing their balance on land bumps their butt on the ground. A toddler loosing balance on a boat..... not good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love being on the water (sailing), and renting a cottage in the summer is a tradition. As such I got my kids involved in water activities early. That said, I wouldn't say that swimming really became a thing that they had the strength or coordination to do well until they were almost four, and didn't have any confidence in their ability to be safe around water until they were at least 8 or 10. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T14:09:12.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24366" CreationDate="2016-03-15T15:33:51.630" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids have both had/have 1-on-1 lessons with a good swimming teacher, who would not start teaching them until their 4th birthday when he considered they had the strength to be able to swim unaided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My eldest was about 6 before she was confident in the water without any swim aids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made sure to acclimatize them to being in the water from babies, which helps them when the time comes to learn to swim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2302" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T15:33:51.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24373" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-15T16:12:06.210" Score="1" ViewCount="42510" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son talks to himself, often in the shower, and stops when I'm aware of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 17, and in a demanding program in college. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is elite, he is on the rowing team and the debate club. He doesn't do drugs or alcohol, and signs up for every math, French and every whenever-there-is contest. He keeps his marks high. He taught math for a few years starting when he was 12. He is also attractive. His peers and teachers like him and teachers make reference to his skills and generosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is guarded, rarely telling me or his father anything. He stays in his room but converses with someone (seen from phone records). This talking to himself and the fact he never tells us anything is troubling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been going on for a few years. I think I may also think aloud myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why would he do this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21420" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-03-16T01:09:21.587" LastActivityDate="2020-11-15T16:50:14.130" Title="Teenage son talks to self" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24373" CreationDate="2016-03-15T17:04:16.117" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Holding internal monologues and dialogues is something that I would guess is quite common. Vocalising them too. I do it myself a lot, especially to exercise arguments I have for my opinions. And yes, this I &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; do when people are around. :D&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I just caught myself reading out this reply quietly to myself as I wrote it. I also found myself matching much else of his &quot;profile&quot; as described by you, save for looks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not worry about this unless you have seen &lt;strong&gt;other&lt;/strong&gt; indicators on unhealth. Talking when alone is not that, at least not on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21422" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T17:04:16.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-03-15T17:10:54.610" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;In short: from the time that your child can argue &quot;Putting on more clothes makes me feel discomfort &quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as the argument is only of the category &quot;I cannot be bothered&quot; your concern for their well-being trumps their argument that they &quot;just dont wanna&quot;. But from the time they say &quot;Seriously mom/dad, I'm overheating and sweat because of all this!&quot;, &lt;strong&gt;then&lt;/strong&gt; you are obligated to take it into consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they can argue their case, you should listen and weigh it in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21422" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T17:10:54.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24376" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24357" CreationDate="2016-03-15T18:11:32.900" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;How frustrating! I have 4 children and potty training was a challenge for all of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to put away the potty chair, bring back the diapers and say nothing about potties for at least two months. Otherwise, you could be battling this issue for a real long time. She has got her back up about this, and the whole thing is going to become a power play if you insist that she goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the sequence of events, it sounds as if she felt &quot;betrayed&quot; by your time off, and took issue with the potty as a form of protest. By now, of course, the protest has taken on a life of its own. She is 2, after all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I started training my first child when she was 2. It looked good at first, but then we ran into trouble. I kept insisting, thinking that somehow, she &quot;had to be trained&quot; at that age. A wiser friend, and mother of 10, gave me the advice I am giving you. Pack it in, wait and try again later. My daughter trained in a day on her 3rd birthday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11382" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T18:11:32.900" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-03-15T19:54:15.827" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to get into this argument with my 8 year old, especially when dressing for school. My argument was, &quot;Just take the coat. If you don't need it, you don't have to wear it.&quot; Under cross-examination, it emerged that the school had a policy of requiring the children to wear any outdoor clothing they brought with them. This caused the children to underdress for fear of being too warm at lunchtime. (In Canada, you often get a big temperature rise at noon, especially in the spring and fall).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So sometimes there is a reason for the refusal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With toddlers, I would let them not wear the coat, but bring it along for the inevitable moment when they realized how cold it was. If it's sunny, dry and there is no wind, you can step outside into -25 weather and not realize how cold it is. Not at first, anyway .... One only needs to do this once or twice before they figure it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11382" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T19:54:15.827" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6947" CreationDate="2016-03-15T21:15:17.020" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd be wary about labeling your child a &quot;Highly Sensitive Person&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've noticed that a lot of people begin labeling people when they don't understand why someone is doing something.  I think it's a bit of a cognitive shortcut: it is easier to label and diagnose than understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if it's true that your son is a highly sensitive person, I'd never tell him this, as there is a dynamic between labels, self-concept, and behavior.  The label reinforces a self-concept congruent with the label, and behavior congruent with the self-concept reinforces the self-concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be completely honest, I get the impression that you're projecting a lot on to your son. I doubt he's even aware how &quot;perfect&quot; the situation is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless, all I can suggest is remaining emotionally neutral, even if it means removing yourself from the situation (where safety isn't involved), and questioning yourself, and your involvement in the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21426" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T21:15:17.020" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24379" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-15T21:33:08.267" Score="4" ViewCount="728" Body="&lt;p&gt;About 1 1/2 years ago my grandson started acting out.  It has now become so bad and we need to get him under control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off I will say that my grandson lives with his mother as his mother and father are no longer together.  They split up long before he started acting out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are a loud family.  We all shout and talk so loudly at times.  My daughter raises her voice most all the time when she is trying to get a point across to anyone including my grandson.  My daughter historically has not spent &lt;strong&gt;quality&lt;/strong&gt; time with him.  She has not and does not do anything more than necessary in things that I feel are very important.  I believe she should have been doing more with him in the last couple of years than she has.  Like working with him to get him ready for kindergarten.  He is now on his second year of kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, we are at the point where he constantly yells, cries and screams at the top of his lungs.  He kicks, hits, scratches, bites, etc.  He is a very angry little boy.  He screams &quot;I hate you&quot;, &quot;you're an idiot&quot;, &quot;get out of my house&quot;, &quot;get away from me&quot;, etc.  Then two minutes later he will tell you that he loves you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does have some medical issues....like reflux, asthma, allergies, etc.  He has ADHD and also ODD.  I fear that all the medications that he is taking could be having an effect on him.  He started on behavior medication over a year ago.  They have since switched him to &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aripiprazole&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Abilify&lt;/a&gt; a few months ago since he was trying to harm others (hitting, biting, kicking).  When he gets sick and he has to take steroids, it is even worse.  Also, it seems that when he has to take an antibiotic that his bad behavior escalates ever more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use time out, which he typically won't stay seated.  He constantly yells NO when given instructions to do something.  We have tried taking toys, etc. away from him and he does not care.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love my grandson so much and I am so worried that if he is not gotten under control soon, that this is going to lead to a lifetime of problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is so much more to this but I know there is not enough room to keep going on.  Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I feel that my daughter's lack of parental skills and her emotional outbursts have contributed to this so much, but I can not get her to agree to help for herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, my grandson is 100% opposite while at school.  He is the most polite, laid back, easy going child you could ask for :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21428" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditorDisplayName="user19912" LastEditDate="2018-11-06T18:16:32.433" LastActivityDate="2018-11-06T18:16:32.433" Title="What to do about 6.5-year-old grandson out of control?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|single-parent|grandparents|adhd|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24120" CreationDate="2016-03-15T22:02:35.547" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a cyclist and parent, some things come to mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Since you say she's not keen on pushing with her feet, find somewhere with a gentle slope, so the child doesn't have to push to get rolling.  A park with some undulating grassy surface is ideal, and you can make a family picnic out of it, so you're there for a couple hours, and there's not a focus on going there to ride.  Don't make it a big deal, but also consider taking a scooter or your own bike and lead by example.  Grass works well because it slows the balance bike and limits the maximum speed while acting as a cushion for the inevitable tumbles.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;An Asphelt surface would work, but the damage of a fall will be higher, which is critically off-putting for a beginner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Don't rush it.  My boy was 10 and one day went from a 16&quot; wheel bike with training wheels, straight onto a 26&quot; wheel on a smallish kid's MTB frame, without training wheels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Some kids prefer scooters, you might try your child on a standing scooter and see how they like it.  Much easier to step off, but 2 and 2/3 is probably a bit small for the coordination required.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Finally, you know your kid - perhaps you're overdoing the elbow/knee pads and making them apprehensive?  Or possibly the opposite and your child wants some more cossiting before trying ?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20538" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T22:02:35.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24373" CreationDate="2016-03-15T23:07:41.680" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talking to yourself is normal. It's called &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrapersonal_communication&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;intrapersonal communication&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Studies suggest that people talk to themselves perform better on some tasks. For example &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120417221613.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;one study found that people were able to find an item quicker when they repeated the name of the item themselves.&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the fact that he talks to himself shouldn't be worrying in himself, and infact might help explain his high level of ability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, he could face social criticism for doing it. On this point, I'd suggest allowing him to adjust himself accordingly, rather than preemptively shaming him for something that isn't a problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11724" LastActivityDate="2016-03-15T23:07:41.680" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8190" CreationDate="2016-03-16T05:11:44.343" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First: your mom did you a favor. She wasn't trying to undermine your authority, she was probably just skeptical that your daughter was potty-reliable, and didn't want to deal with pee (or worse) while doing you a favor. Try to be patient with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, potty training is important, and it is important to send clear messages to the child. Let the last one go. But the next time you are going to leave child with her, here's what you say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom, thanks so much for watching [child]. It is so nice of you, and we really appreciate it. She &lt;em&gt;loves&lt;/em&gt; the time you spend together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I have to ask you to do me one important favor this time. I realize it is a lot to ask, but it's important to me. As you know, I'm potty training [child] right now, and I don't want to send her mixed signals. Please don't put a pull up on her. I realize a pull up is much more convenient for you, but it sets back her progress for days. She becomes much lazier about using the bathroom, has a lot more accidents, and I have to retrain her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If mom resists, make a decision. If she is your only dependable babysitter, then you are stuck. If not, just say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that it is a lot to ask, and so watching her right now may not be a good fit for you under these conditions. I completely understand. We will ask you to watch her again once she is 100% reliable. I'm the meantime, we will have [auntie / friend / babysitter] watch her instead. Love you!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-03-16T05:11:44.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24349" CreationDate="2016-03-16T06:22:33.153" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child almost certainly knows that it's wrong, but did it anyway. Perhaps just to see what would happen (testing the limits) or whatever. Rather than pontificating on the ethics from some holier-than-thou platform, the best thing may be to explain what are the kinds of negative consequences to a person who keeps up that kind of behavior, which make it a poor choice. Also, the child should be involved in the damage control: apologizing for the behavior, making amends and promising not to repeat it, to see how much trouble it has caused.  It may also be useful to find out why he or she did it; what was the motivation. Simple desire for the stolen item? The thrill of stealing? Getting even for some perceived wrongdoing? Or some sense of entitlement to the item? All these shades are important; stealing isn't all the same. The child should understand that you're probing with such questions not for &lt;strong&gt;yourself&lt;/strong&gt; to obtain the answer, but so that the child should examine his or her own motivations, and be honest with him or herself. Also teach the child about the importance of not making up a fake reason why you did something &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; the act to justify it to others or rationalize it to oneself: the importance of searching inside for the original, true reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, it's up to the child whether he or she wants to keep making that poor choice and grow up to become a thief. In that case, he or she needs to understand the importance of being a smart thief and not getting caught. If you're going to make that choice, then be good at what you do. The most important thing is avoiding the negative consequences to oneself, whether by making the right choice, or in perpetrating the wrong one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I suspect this point is next to impossible to make to a seven-year-old without appearing to condone the behavior. If the child's stealing hasn't abated by age thirteen and fourteen and he or she is still getting caught, it may be time to face it from that angle.  Either become a consummate thief who doesn't so much as attract the slightest suspicion, let alone get caught, or else just put an end to the compulsion once and for all.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21437" LastActivityDate="2016-03-16T06:22:33.153" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-03-16T09:32:37.590" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Backing your wife up is much more significant than whether your child wears a coat.  Be a team.  Don't set yourselves up as alternative sources of truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife may be right or wrong about whether the child needs more clothes, but since it's not life-or-death, once she's voiced the opinion the best thing you can do is to back her up.  Say to the child &quot;I think your mum is right, it is cold, so a coat is a good idea&quot;, or &quot;I think your mum is right, you should eat your dinner&quot;, or &quot;I think your mum is right, you should get into your car seat&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21439" LastActivityDate="2016-03-16T09:32:37.590" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24366" CreationDate="2016-03-16T17:16:16.747" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apparently, there are two other things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies that are young enough will have a reflex that prevents them from swallowing or breathing water so they can be exposed and submerged without danger of a bad experience. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livescience.com/20802-newborn-baby-skills.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Babies hold their breath&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, apparently, a chlorinated pool will have fumes close to its surface that damage young babies' lung tissue.&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2082857/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NIH research on babies in pools&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-03-16T17:16:16.747" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24390" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-17T01:07:13.250" Score="5" ViewCount="171" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a child has had no allergic reaction (yet), should we test her for allergies anyway, just in case? Or, is it enough to react after an allergic reaction? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9091" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T12:01:29.460" LastActivityDate="2017-01-05T06:06:12.550" Title="Allergies: should we test them proactively?" Tags="|health|allergies|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24390" CreationDate="2016-03-17T02:00:41.683" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there has been no allergic reaction then there is no need to test with two exceptions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Family history of a lethal reaction. For example if Grandma is allergic to fish, and Mom is allergic to fish, then be extra careful with fish around the child. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doctors advise allergen testing. I'm not one to say blindly follow doctors' advice, but if a doctor is telling you to get the testing done, then get it done. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With most allergies, common signs will show LONG before a lethal reaction occurs. For example, hives, rashes, watery eyes and running nose will all be very evident with non-food allergies long before any serious complications arise (normally). Food allergies often present as a sore throat or upset stomach, long before the &quot;I can't breath&quot; point (normally).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you do get allergen testing, they don't test for everything, just common things, or things they think have triggered the reaction. The testing can be very unpleasant if the list is long. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best advise is ask your primary care physician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T12:06:03.950" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T12:06:03.950" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24392" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24366" CreationDate="2016-03-17T02:09:18.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, the eailer the better.  Living in FL. water is everywhere. children and toddlers that have been taught to hold there breath, to remain calm, and to reach for the side of the pool (or boat, or shore, or whatever) are going to (opinion again) have a much better time if they accidentally fall into the water and start freaking out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, that does not mean it's safe, by any means, to leave a toddler unattended near a source of water. It just means that if/when they do fall in, they have a better reaction. It's far eaiser to help a toddler out of pool if they are calmly hanging on to the side of the pool, then if they freaked out, started crying, and sunk clear to the bottom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another factor is proximity to water. If your life style is not going to involve water activities. Then there is no need or benefit from them being accustomed to pools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All my siblings, my self, and related children were taught to &quot;swim&quot; by holding on to the edge of the pool, no too long after we started to walk around freely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T02:09:18.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24373" CreationDate="2016-03-17T02:26:09.767" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a person that is &quot;smarter then the average bear&quot; I can tell you right now, that it can be very difficult to talk with normal people.  That may be all there is to this. &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvgrXf3tQAM&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvgrXf3tQAM&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the fact that he has a small set of friends and talks to himself is not that unusual. I still talk to my self all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The troubling part is this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He is guarded, rarely telling me or his father anything. He stays in his room but converses with someone (seen from phone records). This talking to himself and the fact he never tells us anything is troubling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being a teenager this is fairly common, but at the same time you need to keep trying to reach out and have conversations. Try staying away from the &quot;parent&quot; conversations. Instead find another topic to talk about. Talk with him like you would a co-worker. Ask about his feelings on the up coming election, or about city policies. Try a conversations (gossip) about people at work. The idea is to stay away (in the beginning) from all the parent stuff and just have normal adult conversations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember he is only one year away from being an adult. He needs you to transition from parents protecting a kid to adults talking to another adult. The teenage drive for independence can be quite strong, but having those first few conversations as one adult to another you start to build that bond back. This will allow him to ask for opinions with out feeling like he is asking to be grounded. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He basically has to be shown, through example, that he can ask for advise and not permission. Once he feels like your a source for advise and wisdom, instead of just someone that is going to ground him, he will start asking for advise, and sharing more of his life with you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T02:26:09.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23162" CreationDate="2016-03-17T09:27:48.717" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all I think you are a very good parent. I'm not being sarcastic or something, I just see it how you describe the whole situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sixteen is a very difficult age though. Everybody is different, some 16 year old kids are grown up and some have problems. You should talk to him. Tell him that you are his father and you love/like to spend time with him. Tell him that even seeing him everyday makes you happy. Tell him  that he is an indispensable person. Tell him that you're hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And you should talk to your ex. I think her behavior is not OK at all. You are his father and you got the right to see and care for your son! It may be written in law that he can decide by himself. But you are his father! You can persuade him to do this 50/50 thing again. And if he still don't wants to, find another solution that you can see him more often, something like 30/70. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you very good luck and I'm pretty sure everything gonna be alright soon! Keep us updated&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21045" LastEditorUserId="21045" LastEditDate="2017-02-17T10:01:26.080" LastActivityDate="2017-02-17T10:01:26.080" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24366" CreationDate="2016-03-17T13:42:28.447" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It actually depends which kind of lessons are available. My baby girl who is now almost 3 years old have been taking &quot;swimming&quot; lessons since she's 3 months old. We bring her to a private pool in the surroundings each Saturday and she gets a private lesson during 15 minutes, without us being in the pool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the early stages, the goal is &quot;survival&quot;: teach the baby to fall in the water from various heights in various positions (sitting on the poolside, head first, ...) and recover a safe position, on her back, floating for at least 4 minutes. How long this stage is depends on the child, from a few months to a year the teacher said. It took my girl 6 months I think to get her &quot;diploma&quot;. Then the process slowly evolves towards what begins to look like swimming movements, but as baby this age don't master all of this nor understand everything they're told to do, this is basically a very repetitive training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.flickr.com/gp/laptitejuliette/2H14FK&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here are some videos of her during the lessons&lt;/a&gt;. The older ones, at the bottom, show some examples of various exercises in the &quot;survival phase&quot;. The newer ones, to the top, show some examples of exercices of &quot;real&quot; swimming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the teacher (and his wife on some videos) has several years of experience with babies, this pool was created by his father who was also teaching kids to swim and is very renowned around here so I didn't look for any other &quot;qualification&quot;, which would anyway be useless to you as I live in Belgium :-) I say this because this is definitely not something we could have taught her ourselves, you need a lot of experience to know what to do and when the baby is ready to go further in the &quot;cursus&quot;. We are very glad we took her to those lessons, she's really enjoying it, it could be a lifesaver, and it's anyway great to be able to play in the pool with your child on occasions without her crying all the time because her face is wet or so :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4510" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T13:42:28.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24397" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24400" CreationDate="2016-03-17T14:41:50.667" Score="7" ViewCount="403" Body="&lt;p&gt;All I have heard from my parents is not to talk to strangers and not to take anything from strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure if in today's date these two rules are sufficient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I tell the child exactly so that she is actually aware of the danger rather than following the rules blindly because mother said so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Detailed answers will be appreciated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Location:India.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20402" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-03-20T01:08:07.600" LastActivityDate="2016-03-20T01:08:07.600" Title="How should the children be taught to be wary of physically present strangers?" Tags="|safety|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24398" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23251" CreationDate="2016-03-17T15:37:03.990" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;How old is your son? Kids should develop their memory by playing little games like memory. A good thing what I do with my kid is to read a small story with him and ask him one day later some stuff about the story(plot, characters). Another good thing would be small computer games. Kids love computers! BE AWARE not every game is good! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind a kid is a kid and they can't always do what you want them to do. Some kids have awesome memory others don't but that's what makes us unique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21045" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T15:37:03.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24397" CreationDate="2016-03-17T16:01:12.433" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In US, your local police station should have events for young children to learn about &quot;stranger danger.&quot; I think it is important think about different scenarios that could happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What should you do if a stranger want you to come with them because your parents/guardarians or other family members got hurt? &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What happens if a stranger is giving you [insert really desirable item here] and you just have to go with him to get it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What happens if a stranger want you help look for his dog? Or lost kid your age?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, the reason why we teach &quot;stranger danger&quot; because there are bad people that mean us harm. The Internet is even harder because you don't know who you are talking to. Bad adults will pretend to be children and lure them away from home and hurt them. Depending on the age of your child you may consider talking about actual crimes and what could be done differently.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T16:01:12.433" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24400" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24397" CreationDate="2016-03-17T17:03:30.727" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some interesting studies about what children consider &quot;strangers&quot; have been done. The concept is not an easy one for them, apparently, and is very easy to override. For example, in studies, they don't heed the &quot;strangers&quot; warning when the person is clean-cut, a young adult, or, say (in a pretty scary study) someone with a puppy. For this reason, child predators are known to use a puppy, a kitten, or some other enticement as an excuse to lure children (including &quot;can you help me find my puppy?&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are more practical ways to help your kids avoid potentially dangerous situations than only teaching them about strangers. In fact, teaching them that all strangers are to be avoided eliminates a valuable resource for them if the need arises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teach a child to direct adults with questions to other adults (preferably policemen!)&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An adult looking for help with anything (including finding their lost puppy) should not legitimately be asking a child or a group of children for help. Teach your kids that adults don't normally ask children they don't know for help, and to simply direct those people to an adult. Practice this with them. For example: &quot;I'm sorry I can't help you. Can you ask (point to the nearest adult) that person to help you?&quot; &quot;Can you call a policeman on your cell phone?&quot; &quot;Can you ask an adult to use their cell phone?&quot; Teach them to look for alternatives to helping an adult they don't themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Give them permission to say &quot;no&quot; to an adult when they feel uncomfortable or confused.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most parents want their kids to be respectful of adults, and this often means &lt;em&gt;compliant&lt;/em&gt; as well. &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Walsh_%28television_host%29&quot;&gt;John Walsh&lt;/a&gt; of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children states without a doubt that his child was abducted in part due to this very issue: he taught his child to obey authority without giving him permission to say &quot;no&quot; - to question that &quot;authority&quot; - when that obedience might confuse him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This includes teaching them to make a lot of noise when an adult tells them to do something they have been taught not to do (go with them, get in the car, etc.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Instead of teaching kids to avoid all strangers, teach children which types of people they can trust when they need help and you're not with them.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Policemen, store clerks, adults - statistically, especially mothers - with children, etc., are safe people to turn to when &lt;strong&gt;they&lt;/strong&gt; themselves need help (not the other way around; that would violate the first rule.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Warn them never to accept rides without your permission (by phone or prior arrangement) or a &quot;password&quot;.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many child abductions involve a vehicle. For this reason, we taught our children the concept of a &quot;safe word&quot;. We reinforced that we would never send someone to pick them up for any reason without giving that adult the safe word, not even if we were hurt or in an accident, etc. Practice.**&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Teach them not to leave a specified area with anyone else without your permission.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some adults use other children to lure kids. If they're in a playground, they should stay there until they get picked up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today with cell phones, it's easier to keep kids safe than when my kids were children. This and the copious good advice found on good child safety websites is a read advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since this question asks specifically about strangers, I'll limit the answer to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Online strangers is a another answer (I think) with a lot of different advice than real-life strangers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt;This last scenario has been repeated often and there are a lot of videos of such mini-experiments available.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;**&lt;sub&gt;This really proved to be a good one. Someone offered to give our kids a ride home from their play area one day. That they refused because the adult didn't know the safe word was reassuring.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kidsmartz.org/StrangerDanger&quot;&gt;Rethinking “Stranger Danger”&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.missingkids.org/publications/PDF10A&quot;&gt;Child Safety Is More Than a Slogan&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T20:54:12.007" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T20:54:12.007" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24401" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-17T20:44:36.817" Score="-1" ViewCount="333" Body="&lt;p&gt;What can you do when parents disagree about medical care?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this case (friends of mine), the mother is undiscriminating about medical care. She forms highly speculative ideas about what might be wrong with children and rushes them to the doctor on any medical concern. She accepts the recommendations of doctors completely uncritically. This has led to situations where the children have been prescribed medicine in an indiscriminate manner. For example, in one case a GP prescribed a powerful anti-protozoan with potentially serious effects without making any diagnosis (a simple urine test had come back negative). The GP stated, &quot;this will clean out the system&quot;. We are talking country doctors here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The father is the exact opposite. His impulse is self-treat and use doctors as a last resort. When going to a doctor he wants a positive and sure diagnosis to be made before drugs are administered, especially potentially dangerous drugs. In many cases he wants second opinions, or to take the children to specialist. So, he is measure nine times before cutting once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This polarity is causing serious strife and arguments. Worse, the mother is taking the children secretly to doctors and trying to get the children to take medications secretly without the father knowing and tells the children not to tell their father what they are doing. Of course, the children inform him anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know both of them, but only the father talks to me. I have advised him to just keep trying to negotiate, but I can foresee that the situation could continue to get worse. What advice (other than that already given) should I give?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastEditorUserId="7579" LastEditDate="2016-03-17T22:20:42.963" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T22:20:42.963" Title="What to do when parents disagree over medical care?" Tags="|conflict|medicine|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ClosedDate="2016-03-17T22:13:39.943" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24401" CreationDate="2016-03-17T21:40:19.030" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best thing to do is to stay &lt;strong&gt;out&lt;/strong&gt; of it. The mother is driven by primal urges to protect her young, possibly motivated by fear (for instance, the fear of the guilt of not acting, and then missing a serious problem). She would rather over-treat than risk under-treating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The father has is on the over-cautious side of normal. His frustration with the mother is understandable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But here's the thing. Fear responses are very difficult to reason with. Fear is a very, very powerful motivator, and you simply cannot talk other people out of their fears. If the mother is motivated by fear, then there's nothing you can say that will alter her response; she is going to do what she feels she has to do regardless of the consequences (for instance, at the risk of hiding from her husband and bringing significant friction into her marriage).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could argue that she is causing her children harm, and yet she can counter that she is taking her children to qualified medical professionals. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a no-win scenario that these married adults need to sort out themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you are actually one of the children (gotcha!) or actually the husband, then if it was me? I would stay out of it entirely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastActivityDate="2016-03-17T21:40:19.030" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24403" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-18T00:51:35.310" Score="-3" ViewCount="237" Body="&lt;p&gt;Online predators can be known people as well as unknown.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What does the child need to know before going online to stop being a prey?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20402" LastActivityDate="2016-03-22T01:22:06.817" Title="How should the children be taught to be wary of online predators?" Tags="|safety|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2016-03-31T18:04:13.853" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24404" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-18T01:00:44.180" Score="11" ViewCount="817" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest son is turning sixteen soon and I had a question about my logic regarding alcohol consumption at a young age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To offer some context, &lt;em&gt;my&lt;/em&gt; parents were very liberal with me growing up. They offered me alcoholic beverages on occasion starting when I was sixteen (maybe once a month at a party or large family dinner), and I would sometimes accept and sometimes decline - I had a sense of responsibility and decision-making. Throughout college I felt like these experiences helped me, over my peers, learn to &lt;strong&gt;not abuse alcohol&lt;/strong&gt;. My parents were complicit with me drinking throughout college under the logic of &quot;we trust you to not mess up.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, I also think I was more responsible than most kids my age back then. So far my son hasn't shown any signs of irresponsibility, but I understand that he's not exactly the same as I was as a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concerns are that offering him alcohol might teach him that my personal views are above the law (we live in the US, where the drinking age is 21). In addition, even if I trust &lt;strong&gt;him&lt;/strong&gt; to be responsible, there is always the chance of being in the wrong place at the wrong time (especially in college). Clearly none of these things happened to me, but my concerns are worrying and I find myself with conflicting opinions: I feel like I should offer my son the same experiences my parents offered &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; (doubly so because I think they were beneficial), but for some reason actually being a parent is different from theorizing about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I talked this over with my wife and she, not having drank until she turned 21, seems really apathetic about the situation. I think she thinks that either way our son will be responsible, and left the decision up to me since I have concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;strong&gt;should I occasionally give my son alcohol?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21469" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T13:38:36.537" Title="Exposing Late Teenagers to Alcohol" Tags="|teen|alcohol|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22120" CreationDate="2016-03-18T01:50:34.957" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child will often test the boundaries of your authority or attempt to manipulate you in various ways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way to prevent this is to set concrete boundaries between the child being able to do as it chooses and what it must do. The key is to never issue an order which you are not prepared to instantly enforce. If a child can disobey you even once, that is the seed of defiance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents who experience chronic &quot;disobedience&quot; have that problem because they issue a stream of orders which they are unable to enforce. Naturally, the child will soon determine which orders are unenforceable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, &quot;eat your beans&quot; is a bad order, because it is not possible to enforce that order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, &quot;put on your bathing suit&quot; is a good order because you can enforce it immediately, should there being any hesitation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By confining your orders to that which is enforceable, you will not experience any defiance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7579" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T01:50:34.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24404" CreationDate="2016-03-18T08:04:09.093" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly I think it's better to introduce it to them first at home, where they can ask questions and understand more about it.  Having the parents be the ones who sit down and talk about alcohol, as well as try some is a great learning experience, and allows you to give them the facts about being safe and understanding it's impairment.  You get to control the environment without pressure or outside influence for the first time, and maybe that would make them better prepared for the college years as well.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Im 29, but remember having a couple drinks when I was 18 with my dad while we were camping for the weekend. We had a long talk about what it can do, not driving and being smart and responsible about it.  He knew that no matter what he said I would still do what I wanted to, but he wanted me to at least understand as much about it as possible.  We only had a couple beers but it was nice and calm to talk to him and ask questions about it.  And was told that I should never, ever drink and drive no matter what, and I could always call him no matter what for a ride if I needed it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From that moment, I felt closer to my dad and was always open about when I was going out or would be drinking.  It was easier knowing my parents knew where I was and I always had a ride home if needed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see any harm in being the one to introduce it at all.  Honestly, I recommend it, because if you don't, someone else will eventually, and they may not tell them to take it slow, or be responsible and they will over do it.  Just my opinion but wanted to share my little story&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21475" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T08:04:09.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24404" CreationDate="2016-03-18T08:23:10.963" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just as @RealParenting said, I think it's a good idea to introduce your son to alcohol at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm 18 y/o, which in Sweden is the legal age for buying alcoholic beverages on i.e. Restaurants/night clubs (you have to be 20 to buy &lt;strong&gt;strong&lt;/strong&gt; beverages yourself (over 3,5%).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And my father talks to me a lot about alcohol (and has 'introduced' me to it at home), which I think has helped to some degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where I live, I wouldn't have any problems at all getting my hands on pretty much anything I want, as long as I have the money for it. &#xA;But since my father has taught me to drink responsibly, I do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a lot of friends that havn't and I certainly do notice a difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And just to clarifiy, I'm not saying you should get your son drunk to the point where he barely can walk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it's certainly better that you introduce him to it, rather than him getting introduced to it with his friends (which can and probably will end badly (in my experience)).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20761" LastEditorUserId="17653" LastEditDate="2016-03-18T13:51:16.910" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T13:51:16.910" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24409" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24411" CreationDate="2016-03-18T08:35:28.603" Score="-1" ViewCount="743" Body="&lt;p&gt;Google said that at the age of 6 a child should be able to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here I am talking about story books. I am talking about independent reading by the child where the child reads the sentence and understands what it means.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what age do children start reading and understanding sentences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20402" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T11:15:22.150" Title="From what age do children start reading and understanding sentences?" Tags="|education|language-development|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24409" CreationDate="2016-03-18T10:00:05.743" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everyone giving you an age without a qualifying &quot;on average&quot; would be grossly generalizing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently the ability to read (as in take an abstract symbol and attach meaning) is seen as a process of brain development, stemming from the same ability that allowed our ancestors to conclude from animal footprints to the behavior and whereabouts of the animal that made them. (Will have to search for the source...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some children &quot;click&quot; sooner (youngest examples I personally know are 3.5, which is a bit extreme) some later. An elementary school teacher confirmed from her experience that while &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; children are able to learn to read at around six, some need another year or so. So while practicing letters etc. helps, it's the brain development that is responsible for the big &quot;Aha!&quot; moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T10:00:05.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24409" CreationDate="2016-03-18T11:15:22.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are generally taught to start reading words in their Reception year at school (age 4-5), however I think from personal experience I would say that being able to read short words in a sentence does not automatically equate to being able to understand the meaning and context of the sentence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By age 6, a good proportion of children are able to read more complex words, and understand the sentences and the book they're reading. A lot of it is a factor of how much they have been read to, and what sort of stories they are reading.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As with all things to do with child development, there is a fairly wide gap between the most and least able. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2302" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T11:15:22.150" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24412" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-18T13:00:18.300" Score="2" ViewCount="261" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started toilet training my 3yr old in April 2015. Everything went really well and after a couple of weeks I thought he was there. I soon found out that I was wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although big accidents are a thing of the past, he continues to have little accidents. When I say little I mean very little, it will be a very tiny patch no bigger then a thumbnail on his underwear that is barely wet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There doesn't seem to be a pattern to it, although it is mostly when he is distracted by an activity. Sometimes if I realise he hasn't been to the toilet I will ask him if he needs to go but he will say &quot;no&quot;, then only a couple of minutes later he will tell me he has had an accident and then he will go to the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although I've always shown encouragement and praise, I'm wondering if after this amount of time I may have contributed to the problem in dismissing the continuing accidents as just accidents and to try harder next time. I've also wondered if there maybe a medical reason but he seems to have good bladder control as he able to wait for the toilet if we are in the car for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure what my next step should be, or even if I should do anything differently. Any advice would be much appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21479" LastActivityDate="2017-01-09T17:30:53.483" Title="Toilet training not quite finished" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24403" CreationDate="2016-03-18T17:30:09.090" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;How you tell them depends on their age, but the key messages to get over are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There are bad people on the Internet. Some of them like to hurt children. They are like bullies who never grew up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can meet off-line friends on-line, but be careful what you say in chatrooms where other people might be listening.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some people on the Internet lie about who they are. Sometimes they pretend to be children like you in order to trick you. Be friendly, but always remember that they might not be telling the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Never tell anyone you meet on-line your name (use a handle), your age or where you live or go to school. Its OK to say what country you live in.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Never send anyone a picture of you. Not even if they send you a picture of them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If anyone starts being nasty to you on-line, tell a grown-up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If anyone starts asking naughty/sexual questions, or shows you naughty/sexual pictures, tell a grown-up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If anyone you meet on-line wants to meet in the real world, tell a grown-up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2016-03-19T11:02:41.230" LastActivityDate="2016-03-19T11:02:41.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2016-03-18T18:07:19.993" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;NO way your kids don't tell ya everything and there is probably another reason that you don't know about that's pry the real reason they don't want to go. Examples of that are that mabye your kid is embarrassed that they are not that good at it, or possibly one of the teammates are not one of the kindest in the bunchThere could be many other reasons that your kid doesn't want to go to an event, but if you want to find out a good way is to just sit down and talk to them with nobody else around &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user21485" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T18:07:19.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24415" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2016-03-18T21:19:41.607" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Force is probably a strong word there. Personally I'd say don't force them into anything, but you can willfully encourage in a way that probably seems like psychological manipulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take soccer for example, have you tried playing with him at a park just the two of you? Maybe being active with him will make him want it more and act as a segue into him wanting to play in a league where your participation would just be attending the games and supporting, cheering, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, I was signed up for everything as a kid. I didn't want to do any of them and was too young to understand it was my parents way of solving their work routines during the summer. I didn't want to participate, and mostly I didn't. But I didn't resent them or the sports or activities because of this so I think the answers you get that are suggesting a guarantee your kid will despise you or the activities is a little extreme, but none the less possible. But I do know that I was much more interested in doing things with my parents back then, and I know my kids now have a greater interest in things I do with them now. There's got to be something to that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So officially I say you should do these things with him as much as you can so it comes across more like fun things to do with your family as opposed to being sent somewhere or volunteered to do things like a way of getting rid of them for a few hours. Not saying he does feel that, but I know how it looked to me when I was young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-03-18T21:19:41.607" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24416" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24425" CreationDate="2016-03-19T00:29:31.563" Score="2" ViewCount="282" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is a stay at home mom and we have 3 daughters (ages 5, 20 months and 1 month old). How important is it for a woman in her situation to get help around the house providing child care for this many kids and doing the domestic duties like cooking and cleaning? I work full time and I try to help out in the evenings and weekends, and we often eat out so she doesn't have to cook. But that is about all I can do myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is really no one we can ask for help. She says she is okay and that she can handle it. But I would like to do more for her (like paying someone to come and help, even though that would be expensive).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So is it in the ability of most women to handle this level of child care and domestic responsibilities or at this point do they really need help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to add&lt;/strong&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you all for your input, the fact that it is a matter of opinion actually answers my question. I will defer to my wife's judgment then and leave the decision to her (which for the time being is that she doesn't need outside help).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was just thinking that there is no way any woman can cope with this level of work and from the response here I see it is possible and since my wife says she can handle it and I don't see the children being neglected then I will just try my best to help and trust in her abilities and judgment of the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-09T13:45:11.637" LastActivityDate="2019-03-09T13:45:11.637" Title="How important is it for a mother to have help around the house when she has several young children?" Tags="|working-parents|chores|mother|stay-at-home|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-03-23T16:17:13.730" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2016-03-19T02:00:47.327" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Converting your son's bike to a fixed gear and then strapping his feet to the pedals with a simple toe cage will teach him to pedal, as his feet will then naturally move as you push the bike forward. While it may be difficult to find a bike shop willing to do this for you, it is simple enough for someone with bicycle mechanic skills. Fixed gear, which was common 20 or more years ago, is no longer standard in children's bikes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21489" LastEditorUserId="17352" LastEditDate="2016-03-23T04:46:32.810" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T04:46:32.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24418" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24416" CreationDate="2016-03-19T10:50:26.537" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a general approach to these types of questions / problems, that eliminates opinion-based subjectivity that the initial comment points to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's called &quot;testing&quot;. First, avoid thinking about anything as an infinite commitment to trying something out, which generates a huge mental and financial barrier to trying something out. Look for incremental improvements first. Set a budget for a 1-2 month trial period and try it out. After this you will have much clearer understanding of whether it helps or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The test should have a clear hypothesis, aka the reason why even test something. If we try this thing out, after 1-2 months we expect this or that to happen, which is measured by some kind of criteria you decide on. Criteria could very well be the feeling &quot;I don't know how I lived without domestic help before&quot; that you may or may not experience. Or could be something specific and clearly measurable, like more quality family hours spent together over that time period.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have data about the trial period and hiring domestic help proves to be a fantastic experience, you will understand whether you can afford to go further, or start finding out how to get more financing to sustain hiring the help. After all, your own work hours should be more expensive (or working towards getting there) than the domestic help hour cost - the money leak may or may not be a problem, that's up to specifics of your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantage of this process is, there is no failure. Even if the test fails, you are smarter for it, and can start thinking about a better test later. If the test wins, youre life has already improved. Perfect time for the next test to improve something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT first set of comments here raise concerns that the above somehow suggests such a process can be performed one-sided, or without the partner's consent. This edit aims to upgrade clarity: the process is suggested only as a team effort, with all relevant stakeholders knowing and agreeing to everything to be tested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6716" LastEditorUserId="6716" LastEditDate="2016-03-20T12:06:35.820" LastActivityDate="2016-03-20T12:06:35.820" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24422" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-20T19:24:16.573" Score="3" ViewCount="362" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter, in the past 6 months has been displaying severe anger. When a toy doesn't come together, if she doesn't get her way... she throws herself on the floor and starts kicking and screaming. Now, they tell me that she is purposely going after the teachers to kick them. Before, the teachers would get hurt because they would attempt to physically remove her. To this, I thought... &quot;well leave her alone and eventually she'll stop&quot;. Like in many articles I've read: &quot;Ignore the child when throwing a tantrum&quot;. At her daycare they have worked with me in strategies to deal with these situations, to no avail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first, we decided that if she misbehaves at school then the consequences would be dealt with at school. Before, when they told me she had a &quot;bad day&quot;, I would ground her. But it wasn't fair that she would be punished all day for it. I implemented the &quot;marble system&quot;... that worked for a whole week. I had to include my 6yr old son, because he felt left out. Since he's 90% of the time good, she felt it was a competition... and when a marble would be taken away she would lightly punch her head and say &quot;I'm a dumb dumb&quot;. I explained to her that she is not a dumb dumb, she just has to make better choices. I read her &quot;Sometimes I'm bumbaloo&quot;, book about a turtle and another book about how it's ok to be angry, but stop and think.  I've told her to &quot;blow bubbles&quot;...&quot;squeeze her fists tight and stop and think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started w/spanking, then to taking away toys, to privileges being taken away... Now, I try to talk to her with a calm and loving manner. I've even cried in front of her when I'm frustrated... she expresses concern, guilt and regret, but come the next day she's back at it again. I've involved everyone and anyone in hopes of getting advice or direction, but nothing has worked yet. I've explained to her the importance of her good behavior and the consequences of bad behavior. I've broken it down for her.....for example: if you misbehave you will get kicked out of daycare, mommy will lose her job, we will lose our house, we will have no money, we'll have to give our dogs away and live off of nature...I made it real drastic to see if it had an impact... NOT!!! I've sat down w/her and asked why she has so much anger, why she hurts her teachers?? I've told her we don't hurt the people we love and used reverse psychology.... &quot;would you like it if your teachers kicked you?&quot;... they keep giving you chances because they love you... and you hurt them.. why?? Silence is what I get w/sorry. I told her sorry doesn't cut it. I asked her &quot;if i cut your finger off and then say I'm sorry, does that make it better? No, right? Your finger is still cut off.... then that's the same with when you hurt your teachers... you can't take it back.&quot; Any suggestions please....???&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21593" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-03-24T01:31:20.680" LastActivityDate="2016-03-24T03:14:00.137" Title="5 yr old behavioral/anger problems" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|anger|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14392" CreationDate="2016-03-20T19:39:05.827" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Stop telling, and start listening. There are 10 million fun activities he &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; do, but probably just a few he &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to do. What physical activities does he like? Does he climb things in the house? Sign him up for climbing lessons / time at the gym climbing wall. Does he have fun at the pool? Take him swimming, sign him up for jr. lifeguards, take him surfing. Does he like doing puzzles? Take him geocaching. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even then, tread lightly. If you push him to do activities he doesn't want to do -- even if he ends up liking them later -- he will possibly push back harder in the future, and learn to resist purely to aggravate you and show you that you can't force him to do things. People don't like to be forced to do things -- even fun things -- if they don't want to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastActivityDate="2016-03-20T19:39:05.827" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24416" CreationDate="2016-03-21T03:22:20.693" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Trust your wife. If she has chosen to be a stay-at-home mom, don't micromanage her. If she feels up to the task of running your busy household (three small children) without help, let her thrive. If you insist on bringing in outside help when she says she doesn't want it, you are sending a vote of &quot;no confidence&quot; and undermining her in her domain. Let her enjoy the journey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you suspect she is denying help out of financial concerns (not because she doesn't actually want help), then have a frank conversation with her as an equal. Tell her, &quot;you are wonderful! You take such good care of all of us. I really want to do something for you. I'd like to pamper you and give you an occasional break, and treat you to the opportunity to let someone else do some heavy-lifting every once in a while. That's why I'd like to hire someone to come in and deep-clean the house once a month, because it would make me happy to give you an occasional break. This is important to me; I'd really like to give you this gift.&quot; And then do whatever she wants. If she says, &quot;no,&quot; then don't push. Let her be queen of her chosen domain. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T03:22:20.693" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24426" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-21T10:23:40.160" Score="1" ViewCount="1370" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a two year old (Oct. 5 2013) that started holding his poop in about October of 2015. Up to now, he has allowed himself to go on average once every seven days in a 6 month span. Our family doctor put it this way- &quot;give him as much of whatever kind of oil that makes him go every day.&quot; In a 6 day period, we had 14 teaspoons of mineral oil and 3 ex-lax squares in this little guy!!!!!!!! before he finally did go. And no, he IS NOT constipated. This is our seventh child, and I don't think we have ever encountered anything so frustrating and helpless.&#xA;Likewise we have tried seemingly everything, the stern approach, bribing, candy, celebrating when he finally goes, ect. ect. Still, just walking toward the potty gets him bawling every single time. (By the way, we were never even attempting to train, he just quit going in his pamper, so we thought maybe he doesn't like the feel and would rather go potty)_We have resorted to castor oil, which used to get the best response in the fifth or sixth day. Now, even that seems to have no effect anymore, and I am worried sick that he is damaging his colon. What is our next move?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21644" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T21:28:01.157" Title="Our 2 year old refuses to poop anywhere" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24404" CreationDate="2016-03-21T11:56:56.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in the UK, it is common to start letting kids have a taste, or small drink with food, from the age of 14, and in Mediterranean countries even earlier. (In the UK it is legal from the age of 5 - thanks @ArtofCode)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advantages are that you get the opportunity to let them learn the effects, both positive and negative; learn the culture and social aspects; understand their limitations; learn how to handle alcohol without pressure from their peers — it is very different in a formal dinner with family than at a teenage party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know your legal aspects are a bit different, but you should certainly weigh up the benefits of being able to manage your son's first drinks, rather than have them happen secretly at school or parties. This also makes it much easier for him to communicate with you if there are any drink associated issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-08-25T23:04:06.790" LastActivityDate="2016-08-25T23:04:06.790" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24422" CreationDate="2016-03-21T12:59:53.930" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You asked for any suggestions, so here goes: you're talking too much!  Stop explaining everything to her. She doesn't need to know about your job, or losing houses or getting kicked out of daycare, or apologizing for cutting off fingers, etc. The problem isn't that you haven't found the right book to read with her yet, or the right metaphor. As a 5 year old, she barely understands cause and effect, has no sense of responsibility whatsoever and almost no impulse control -- not that long ago, she was in diapers. You cannot reason with a 5 year old; those parts of her brain haven't even developed yet. It's like trying to reason with a puppy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, 5 year olds are like puppies in many ways (well, unusually articulate puppies) -- driven by strong whims, lacking impulse control, and forming bad habits very easily. 5 year olds (and puppies) need a very firm, patient hand. You can't change behavior in one day, especially if she has been acting his way for 6 months. But, like a puppy, if you are patient, constant, and firm, you can teach  her appropriate behavior over time. But (warning): good parenting takes a large investment of time (also similar to training a puppy). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the deal. Similar to dealing with a puppy, you have to make things crystal clear for her in terms she can easily understand, and establish a firm, dependable routine (she has to know that the routine will happen every single day). Here's what you do:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) First figure out some things she likes, and some things she doesn't like. Simple things work best at this age. On the positive side: a favorite TV show, playing a round Candyland with you, a tablespoon of m&amp;amp;m's (enough to be worth it, but not so many that it will ruin her appetite), whatever. Every kid is different. On the negative side, the usual stuff: no TV, no dessert, no books, early bedtime. Whatever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Find out how she behaved at day care every day. Every single day. Make it part of your routine to find out how she was every day. If she did good, try to find out one or two specific things she did well. If she misbehaved, find out one or two specific things she did wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Establish an absolutely dependable routine where everyday where, as soon as she gets home, have a daily review. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she was good, tell her, &quot;hey kiddo! I hear you were really good a daycare today! You helped Chris with his paints, and were nice to Suzie. Great job! I'm so proud of you!&quot; If possible, tell her one or two specific good things that she did. Treat her like a stinkin' rock star. Then tell her the reward. Make it the same thing every time (m&amp;amp;m's, tv show, play game, play baby dolls with her, whatever). It may take a few tries to figure out what she really likes. You may consider combining a smaller portion of m&amp;amp;m's (5-10) with something she likes to do together (two birds with one stone; she gets the immediate reward of a small treat, and the more important bonding of some quality time). If she tired of one reward, try another one. But do it, every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she was misbehaved at day care, break the bad news. &quot;Oh, kiddo. I'm so sad. I &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; want to give you some m&amp;amp;m's / play Shoots and Ladders / watch My Little Pony with you, but I can't. I hear that you didn't share today / pulled hair today / screamed when you didn't get the pink Barbie / kicked Ms. Jones. Darn it! I was &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; looking forward to doing X / Y / Z with you. So sad!&quot; Really lay it on thick. Stay on her team: &quot;I really wish I could do this for you! But my hands are tied. I can only give m&amp;amp;m's / watch TV with / whatever with little girls who don't kick / scream / throw toys. Darn it! I'm so sad, because I really want to do that with you.&quot; Stay absolutely firm. Do this consistently, every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will be a &lt;strong&gt;revelation&lt;/strong&gt; for her: What!? Stuff I do at daycare has real, enduring consequences? For me? It affects my privileges at home!? Every day!! Madness!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chances are, this will take time and patience. Modifying months of bad behavior takes time. And it sounds like your daughter is strong willed, and is caught up in the battle of wills, so it may take weeks or even a month or three.  You may have to up the ante -- make the punishments stronger over time. On days she misbehaves, she doesn't get to watch any tv at all. Or, she has to earn TV -- no TV until she behaves for a solid week. Or she has to behave for a whole week to earn the right to stay up past 7:30. Make it something that she can achieve, but don't be afraid to make her work for it over time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One more things: you have some leverage because there is another child. On nights that your daughter loses tv privileges or loses dessert, make sure to reward your son for good behavior. Seeing her sibling get something she doesn't may burn more than the punishment itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Strong willed children take grit, patience, and determination to parent, but my experience is that they often respond well and are happier once you establish yourself as the (calm, firm but loving) alpha dog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PS&lt;/strong&gt;: Also, don't let her suck you into mind games and distraction when she calls herself &quot;dumb&quot;. That is a manipulative play for sympathy and negative attention. Either ignore, or say, &quot;oh sweetie! You're so silly. You're my bright, smart girl.&quot; And then move on. Don't get sucked in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T12:59:53.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24429" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-21T13:44:23.293" Score="4" ViewCount="847" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thinking of going on a short holiday to Amsterdam (the Netherlands). Do babies enjoy travelling and going to new places? Is it easy to travel with a 6 month old? Flight is 10 hours so not too bad. Will the experience will enrich my baby in some way? Is Amsterdam safe for babies? She has started solids but is not eating much so I'll be breastfeeding her. She is not a good sleeper though but loves going on walks and looking at people and the scenery. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21646" LastEditorUserId="20402" LastEditDate="2016-03-23T11:37:24.183" LastActivityDate="2016-03-27T23:51:30.880" Title="Is it a good idea to go on an overseas holiday with a 6 month old baby?" Tags="|infant|travel|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24404" CreationDate="2016-03-21T13:47:10.957" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other answers are mostly based on personal belief, and conventional wisdom, but are refuted by studies on the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's actually a myth, that providing alcohol to minors at home encourages responsible drinking habits. The opposite is in fact true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.drugfree.org/newsroom/myths-debunked-underage-drinking-of-alcohol-at-home-leads-to-real-consequences-for-both-parents-and-teens/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.drugfree.org/newsroom/myths-debunked-underage-drinking-of-alcohol-at-home-leads-to-real-consequences-for-both-parents-and-teens/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is another reference to a similar study. One with no potential bias.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-09-08/teens-given-alcohol-by-parents-drink-more:-study/5726532&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-09-08/teens-given-alcohol-by-parents-drink-more:-study/5726532&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study mentioned in the previous news article can be found &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/137/3/1.27.full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; (thanks Erica for finding this).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-03-23T11:33:20.823" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T11:33:20.823" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24429" CreationDate="2016-03-21T14:26:08.020" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies are pretty adaptable, and lets face it largely blissfully unaware of anything beyond their immediate surroundings and physical needs as they exist in the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So will your baby get any enrichment? No, it will not remember it. At all. Exposure to travel might help make for a more situationaly adaptable child if you continue to travel, but one trip won't do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does a baby enjoy travelling to new places? Every place is a new place to a baby. you've probably got rooms/closets in your home that would be as exotic to them. They aren't going to notice cultural or language differences, that's not yet in their frame of reference. Keeping a sleeping area as consistent as possible with what you have at home might be the biggest stumbling block.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is Amsterdam safe? As safe as any western city. It's more about how YOU care for the baby and its immediate environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Main concerns:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You baby is unlikely to enjoy the start and end points of the flight. Sensitive little ears and pressure changes do not tend to go well together. At all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your baby is starting on solids, which means you need to be very careful in what you are feeding them as you are essentially giving them an allergy test. Are you going to be confidently able to read baby food labels?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you co-sleep? Or are you bringing some form of bedding for the baby? If not, check in advance for crib/other options from your hotels. If bringing a bassinet or whatever, you might want to get the baby used to sleeping in it before you go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T14:26:08.020" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24429" CreationDate="2016-03-21T14:26:16.123" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not a bad idea, but if you're hoping it'll be a particularly enriching experience for your baby, you may be disappointed. She is too young to get anything much out of the experience. She will likely enjoy herself, but no more so than if you took her to a new mall, or park.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are other reasons though why it may be a good idea to take the holiday now. 6 month old babies are quite easy to travel with. At that age they're usually very happy to be carried in the baby carrier most of the time, and just put down now and again for a bit of a crawl. They're actually much harder to manage when they're a bit older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T14:26:16.123" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24426" CreationDate="2016-03-21T15:09:43.683" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Waiting 6 days I know seems awful, but they do tend to get over it, and it doesn't seem to cause any lasting harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would steer clear of harsh chemical laxatives if you can possibly avoid them. These should really be a last resort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For ours we did on occasions use Parachoc, which is a chocolate flavoured paraffin based laxative, but we were careful to avoid giving it too often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid the stern approach. This just makes things worse. For whatever reason he has apparently decided he's frightened of the potty, so you don't want to do anything that will make him more anxious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to make sure he's well hydrated, with water only. Give him plenty of fruit, and also you can try adding some psyllium husk to his meals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hydration is super-important. Particularly if you increase the fibre in his diet. Fibre can absorb more water, so you kind of need to over-compensate, or excess fibre can actually make things worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-03-21T20:41:14.703" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T20:41:14.703" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24426" CreationDate="2016-03-21T16:24:00.740" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Note: I am not a psychologist. But, this sounds fear motivated. Maybe at some point in the past he had a painful constipation / stool. Maybe sitting over the yawning void of a toilet scares him. Maybe cold water splashed him once and that startled him. Who knows. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the best way to overcome fear is practice. As stated in user1751825's excellent breakdown, fiber and fruit are your friends. Miralax is good. Over time, as nature forces him to eventually go again and again, he will (probably) get over it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again: not a medical or psychiatric professional. Consult your doctor, and don't be afraid to consult a child psychologist if issue persists. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T16:24:00.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24426" CreationDate="2016-03-21T16:38:51.857" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your frustration and concern are evident, and it doesn't sound like the advice given by your family physician was very helpful. If they can't do better, time for another opinion. Your next move is to get a consult for a pediatrician who has some experience in managing chronic constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While voluntary stool holding might not sound like constipation, technically, it is, even if you're doing everything you can to avoid it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Constipation generally is defined by the hard nature of the stool, the pain associated with its passage, or the failure to pass three stools per week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Encopresis is the fecal soiling that often occurs with constipation. You don't mention this, and it's early for this diagnosis, but entertaining it would do no harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is some reason your child refuses to go to the bathroom. It could be medical (a bowel innervation problem), physical (he had/has painful bowel movements - due to an anal fissure or other - and wants to avoid them as much as possible), psychological (he's a bit young, one would think, but they do have psyches), or a combination of things. This is the beginning of an investigation and training period (for both the child and the parents) that will take many months, so please know that you're in for this problem for the long haul. The good news is, it's early yet, and getting proper diagnosis and treatment can save you years of dealing with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, the basic approach is elimination of pain with defecation, increasing fluids including osmotically active ones (pear and prune juice), fiber (with fluids; some fiber without fluids can bind people instead of help), and, if the child has a lot of dairy intake, e.g. cheese (which can be constipating), decreasing dairy intake may be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/constipation-in-children/basics/definition/con-200346650&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Constipation in children&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pedsinreview.aappublications.org/content/19/1/23&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Constipation and Encopresis in Childhood&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-03-21T21:28:01.157" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T21:28:01.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23472" CreationDate="2016-03-21T17:30:12.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some thoughts on this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1.- Some kids develop very well despite net being very focused or following orders. Is he active, happy? Is he speaking well? Reading well? Is creative? Ingenious? I would not worry to much about him being talkative, that´s mostly a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2.- From a neurological point of view apparently some  kids learn to control themselves after age 7 or so.  You can help them along with &quot;simon says&quot;-like exercises that trigger self-control regions of the brain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3.- Usually a positive goal (or a natural penalty, like if you don't eat you will be hungry) works better than an artificial grounding or penalty. But mind development is not overnight, a not only about will, its also about slow training, so you will not 'convince him' to suddenly do things right....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T17:30:12.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2016-03-21T19:41:14.400" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2016/03/09/peds.2015-2456?sso=1&amp;amp;sso_redirect_count=1&amp;amp;nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3A%20No%20local%20token&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;formal study&lt;/a&gt; has come out fairly recently which addresses this question directly, though looking only at healthy body weight and not other aspects of well-being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From ABC's &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://abcnews.go.com/Health/birth-sibling-healthier-body-weight-born/story?id=37586460&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Birth of a Sibling Could Mean a Healthier Body Weight for the First-Born:&lt;/a&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Younger siblings can be annoying, but a new study suggests they may be good for your health.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  In the longitudinal study that tracked nearly 700 children across the U.S., researchers found that kids who did not have a sibling by the time they were in first grade were more often obese at that age compared to children who gained a sibling between ages three and four.  ...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Researchers emphasized they are not claiming the birth of a sibling directly causes weight loss but that there is an association...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  “The possibility that seems most compelling,” said Dr. Julie Lumeng, a pediatrician at the C.S. Mott Hospital at the University of Michigan and an author on the study, “is that if you have a younger sibling, you’re more likely to run around.”&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Simply put, having a younger sibling is like having a built-in playmate: at any given time, the siblings are more likely to engage in some kind of active play. ...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Both physicians emphasized that no one is recommending having a second child purely for the sake of affecting the first child’s weight.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  Instead, Lumeng encourages parents to consider setting up a play date this weekend, or enjoying a day out in the park, to promote healthy habits.&#xA;  “This study might be a trigger for people to reflect on their family rhythms and what the family dynamic is,” she said. &quot;If there were a younger sibling in the family, how might the rhythms change in a way that might be protective against obesity?”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind that if overpopulation and/or resulting impacts on our shared planetary home becomes a major social issue during the child's lifetime, that will have an impact on answers to your question here, even if that impact is not noticeable until years after your present-day decisionmaking.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17680" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T19:41:14.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24438" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27606" CreationDate="2016-03-21T20:48:38.090" Score="6" ViewCount="4083" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 22 year old living with my parents. I'm currently in quite a bit of distress as my father has kicked me out. I assume my mom will talk with him when she gets back from her night shift but for now I'm not welcome. He assaulted me (tried to strangle me) before kicking me out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason we had this argument is because he always wants to be right. My sister had insulted me minutes before because I had done something slightly wrong. I was aware of what I had done wrong and accepted that. I did not however accept the insult. My dad explained what I did wrong. In turn I explained I didn't like being insulted. He said &quot;You don't understand, you did X wrong.&quot; It went on a bit like that. He just got more and more angry. I kept telling him I did understand, but I didn't like being insulted about it. I probably got angry too. Then he exploded and assaulted me. This happens more often. My sister and my boyfriend pulled him away from me, dad told me to leave, but I went all out on my sister. I told her I hate her and it was all her fault. I don't hate her, I said that in anger and frustration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been angry before with me and it's always been because he says I don't listen or I (or my brother or sister) doesn't agree with him. I don't know what to do with this. How do I handle it when my father only wants to hear &quot;You are right&quot; and nothing else? He has argued with me and others over things that could be proven wrong. He once argued with me how a place looked that I had visited that day and he last visited 30 years ago. There were absolutely no stairs over there, he said. Now I even said he was right but he didn't accept that I felt insulted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do when my father always wants to be right? How can I speak to him about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should probably mention both my father and I have been diagnosed with autism. And I don't want anything legally done. I love my father and understand why he does this. I need to know how to cope with it somehow. Excuse my ranty post. I'm fine with edits to the structure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21650" LastEditorUserId="21650" LastEditDate="2016-03-21T20:58:40.027" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T10:37:26.710" Title="Father always wants to be right" Tags="|parents|adult-child|arguments|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24440" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2016-03-21T22:47:39.103" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Look at the adults around you. Are there any obvious tells -- at all -- that they are either from an only-child family, or a multi-child family? Have you ever heard someone say, &quot;can you believe how she treated that waiter? She must be an only child.&quot; Or, &quot;that guy really creeped me out. He must have a lot of siblings.&quot; Chances are, there are no discernible differences when you look at the people around you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parenting is such an intensely personal, engrossing endeavor, based on such primal urges, that people become siloed into one way of doing it. They begin to assume that their is the only true way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice? Do what works best for you. If one kid works best for you: do that. Not because one kid is somehow better, just because one kid is best for &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;. And to people who want lots of kids: do that. Not because lots of kids is inherently better; just because that's the thing that works for you. And everyone: stop telling everyone else how they're wrong. Live and let live. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastActivityDate="2016-03-21T22:47:39.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24403" CreationDate="2016-03-22T01:22:06.817" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don’t say: Never talk to strangers.&#xA;Say: You should not approach just anyone. If you need help, look for a uniformed police officer, a store clerk with a nametag, or a parent with children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don’t say: Stay away from people you don’t know.&#xA;Say: It’s important for you to get my permission before going anywhere with anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don’t say: You can tell someone is bad just by looking at them.&#xA;Say: Pay attention to what people do. Tell me right away if anyone asks you to keep a secret, makes you feel uncomfortable, or tries to get you to go with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20549" LastActivityDate="2016-03-22T01:22:06.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24444" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-22T14:28:07.007" Score="6" ViewCount="402" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 yo son is interested going on a summer missions trip to Mt. Kilamanjaro in Tanzania, Africa.  His mother is pushing him to go, but has just sprung the idea on me. Everything looks fine about the trip (reputable group with long, positive track record, worthy cause, etc.) except for one thing: it is 8 weeks long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I'm the opposite of over-protective, and encourage my kids to try things.  When I was a kid, I had an awesome experience spending 3 weeks in Australia when I was 16, but I know I was getting homesick before the 3 weeks were up. I'm struggling to see how 8 weeks away from family and friends (he would have others in his group) makes sense for a 14 yo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;FWIW, My son has done great on week-long summer camps, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts on how to know if a long trip away from family and friends is appropriate for a teen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21657" LastEditorUserId="25991" LastEditDate="2017-01-03T11:03:44.560" LastActivityDate="2017-01-03T11:03:44.560" Title="Is an 8 week trip abroad an appropriate time away for a 14 year old?" Tags="|teen|age-appropriate|anxiety|separation|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24438" CreationDate="2016-03-22T16:03:09.070" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two months ago I got angry enough with my dad that I punched him in the arm and gave him a big black patch for a week.  What I did was wrong, and I apologized 30 minutes after the incident.  What he did was he started scolding me about something he knew nothing about, had nothing to do with him, and generally was being a nuisance.  He still had no idea what he did wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just a preface with regards to my relationship with my dad.  We don't hate each other, but I honestly am not sure I understand my interactions with him.  When I was 11 years old, I hated my dad enough to want to get revenge by killing myself.  That chapter has been dealt with, so that's no longer an issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, having said this, I'm not you, and you're not me.  We don't have the same dads.  Even if we do, the fact that I'm not you means the relationship can easily be different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's start by looking at the two parts of the relationship.  &lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;him&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you think about what has happened, are you calm enough to separate what you did and what he did?  Can you identify what you did wrong?  Can you identify what he did wrong?  Can you reference to your mistake without talking about it as a cause-and-effect?  (e.g.:  He did this so I did this, so it is actually their fault).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;First&lt;/strong&gt; step is to separate the actors.  He's responsible for his actions.  You are responsible for yours.  There is a reason manslaughter is still 10 years in prison.  There are probably many reasons why you did what you did, but the first step to improving your situation is identify what &lt;strong&gt;YOU&lt;/strong&gt; did.  As long as you think the problem is with someone else, then the solution becomes entirely dependent on the &quot;cause&quot; of the problem.  If you can clearly specify what you did incorrectly, then you can actually start fixing it.  Evidence of this shows up in how you asked the question.  Re-read it and see if you can identify them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Second&lt;/strong&gt;, once the actors are separated, repeat to yourself that &lt;strong&gt;YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S ACTION&lt;/strong&gt;.  No matter what they say, what they did is &lt;strong&gt;THEIR&lt;/strong&gt; responsibility, not yours.  This second part only works if you did the first part, because without it, this step is just hypocrisy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Third&lt;/strong&gt;, once you can clearly write down what each actor are responsible for, assess what options are feasible.  Are you in a position to talk over what is wrong with the relationship?  Is the other person receptive to talking about it?  Again, repeat step two if you forget, because it is &lt;strong&gt;NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CHANGE SOMEONE&lt;/strong&gt;.  If the other party is not being civil, do what you can to protect yourself.  Crash at a friend's place for a couple days, look for work, and rent out a place.  A single adult has tremendous flexibility with lodging and employment, even with autism.  You brought up something that many people will find difficult in sharing, so you're quite capable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read your comment about what happened and you can actually do this with your sister too, or basically anyone you come across (boss, friends, girlfriend, co-worker, etc.)  Start with learning how to process responsibility and differentiating actors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regards to feeling insulted, I'm learning more and more that it is actually a choice to be insulted.  I guess one way I would react to being accused of being deaf was apologizing, saying something like &quot;Sorry, I got really caught up in my game.&quot;  Then there is always a mischievous side of me that would just say &quot;Huh?  You said something?&quot; in response.  Or I would just say nothing and actually pretend to be deaf, or just go really crazy and emotional, wrap myself around her ankle, fake cry for her forgiveness, or give her a big hug and try to kiss her, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize I was not caught up in the moment of things and am thinking in isolation of the actual situation, so I wouldn't say I react calmly all the time.  In fact, me punching my dad proves I don't do that, but I'm learning I have the capacity to, and you will too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13754" LastEditorUserId="13754" LastEditDate="2016-03-24T07:12:49.460" LastActivityDate="2016-03-24T07:12:49.460" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24438" CreationDate="2016-03-22T17:53:43.287" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is irrelevant who is right. A pathological need to be right is a sign that someone is being controlled by their ego and it wouldn't matter if you could prove beyond all doubt that your father is in fact wrong you would not convince him, so stop trying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him think he is right, what difference does it make to you unless you have a need to be right as well. You don't have to implicitly agree with what he says and if you have to say something just state your point of view once and then leave the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Arguing will get you absolutely no where. If you feel like you have to prove you are right if you think you are then you need to move out and get your own house and then you can do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2016-03-22T17:53:43.287" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24451" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8824" CreationDate="2016-03-23T14:22:39.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would consistently offer a replacement behaviour.  I agree this is not an accident and is a behaviour therefore should be treated differently.  I would chose a message that works for you and consistently teach the child that peeing in defiance is not the way we get what we want.  do not reward this behaviour with what the child is wanting, no matter how tired you are.  reinforcing this behaviour will only make it stronger. instead, say something like (in a calm, kind, firm voice)  &quot;johnny, you peed.  Now we need to clean it up. We cannot have &amp;lt;&gt; until we clean it up and use our words to ask&quot; This will probably instigate a temper tantrum. Wait it out and facilitate him helping clean it up.  Then get really excited about how he clean up his own mess and get him to ask nicely for what he wants. Then give it to him. Repeat this process until he just uses his words.  remember: behaviour is sustained by the payoff.  What ever is reinforced will persist.  For more information on this strategy google search &quot;the premack principle&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21687" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T14:22:39.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24454" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2016-03-23T16:10:59.117" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Profanity is offensive language, and may also be known as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;bad language, strong language, coarse language, foul language, bad words, vulgar language, lewd language, swearing, cursing, cussing, or using expletives&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;em&gt;via &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Profanity&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interpretations of what words are profanity varies widely within languages, cultures, and even families. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Questions may relate to limiting children's exposure to profanity (used by parents, friends, extended family, or strangers), or how to deal with children who have started using profanity. Ideally, this tag should be used on questions where the profanity is the primary focus, rather than part of a longer list of problematic behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-23T16:10:59.117" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T16:10:59.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24455" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2016-03-23T16:10:59.117" Score="0" Body="Offensive, inappropriate, obscene, or &quot;bad&quot; language; swearing or cursing." OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-23T16:10:59.117" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T16:10:59.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24456" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24459" CreationDate="2016-03-23T19:19:33.983" Score="4" ViewCount="1243" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recently an issue has arisen with my 13 year old son and a girl he was &quot;dating&quot;.  While they were dating, I was one of those parents that &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; went through his phone and read messages.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was relieved when they broke up because some of the things she was saying to him made me nervous.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At school two weeks ago she was calling him names, telling him he was worthless, and just kept pushing.  He then retaliated and said he hated her and wanted to slit her throat. (He doesn't really; he was angry.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We spoke about dealing with anger and being hurt in different ways, e.g. try to stay away from her and avoid any potential of having an altercation.  We spoke about the severity of death threats and the repercussions.  Then today he said something to her out loud on the school yard to the effect of &quot;you're going to get raped someday&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have not spoken to him yet, and I am unsure as to how to approach this. He is generally a really good kid, good manners, well behaved, helpful...   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that these two kids are just toxic for each other. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21689" LastEditorUserId="2693" LastEditDate="2017-09-21T12:03:42.087" LastActivityDate="2017-09-21T12:03:42.087" Title="How to talk to my 13 year old son about inapropriate comments" Tags="|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24457" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24458" CreationDate="2016-03-23T19:24:57.640" Score="4" ViewCount="6812" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old daughter has not wet the bed in about a year.  A few nights ago (on an unexpectedly cold night) she did.  There are several questions here about bed wetting and regression, but I'm specifically wondering about being cold at night being a trigger for bed wetting.  A web search reveals a couple of message board anecdotes, but I was hoping for something more concrete.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can being cold at night cause a child to wet the bed again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21688" LastActivityDate="2017-12-14T10:29:25.733" Title="Can cold weather cause a potty trained child to wet the bed again?" Tags="|sleep|potty-training|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24457" CreationDate="2016-03-23T19:40:10.923" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, things that contribute to my children wetting the bed are primarily one of three things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drinking more before/during bedtime&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sleeping more soundly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Barriers to getting up to go in the middle of the night&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Plus of course forgetting to go right before bed.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How could cold affect these?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When it's cold outside, it's also &lt;em&gt;dry&lt;/em&gt;.  That means the child may be thirstier, and thus drink more before/during bedtime.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some children may sleep more soundly in the cold, though it's more common that sleep is sounder in warmth.  But, your child may have dressed more warmly and/or put on more covers than usual, and thus ended up sleeping more soundly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Having all of those covers on would be a substantial barrier to going to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  It also would be cold getting out of them - another barrier.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that said, given the n=1 nature of this occurrence, I wouldn't read too much into it.  Yes, it's possible it's related to the cold.  It's also possible she just had an accident.  That's entirely normal and to be expected until 6 or so, from what I recall (and some kids, even older than that). I wouldn't see it as regression at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-03-23T19:40:10.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24456" CreationDate="2016-03-23T20:36:16.610" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are things that no one should ever say no matter how toxic a relationship is, and those are two of them. Wishing that someone who is making your life miserable would die is probably more common than we would like to admit; however threatening them with such graphic violence is not (in my limited experience). The repercussions for this kind of talk are vast (from quasi-legal to social) and maybe difficult to appreciate for a 13 year old, so talking to him about it may not be enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would involve the school counselor now. They have ways to intervene between the two of them that you don't. They may also have him assessed for anger issues he shows at school, and hopefully keep an eye out for other potentially painful things (for example, ostracism) that they can discuss with him. If he gets such counseling, it may help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also insure there were significant consequences for this kind of self-expression at home. This isn't just a school issue. It's a values issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe it's not popular, but I would make him apologize, as I would want anyone who said anything of this nature to one of my own children to own up to the wrongness of their behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continue doing what you're doing (discussions, options, etc.), keep lines of communication and self-expression open, and talk to him about how, why, and how deeply this person has hurt him. To understand that other people don't always hurt us because we somehow deserve it helps a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-03-24T01:02:02.853" LastActivityDate="2016-03-24T01:02:02.853" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24462" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24422" CreationDate="2016-03-24T03:14:00.137" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize that very few people on this site believe in meds, but if you're life is really up against the wall, why would you avoid a psychiatrist? They might even have a bright suggestion that doesn't involve meds because they've seen this exact scenario about 1000 times. As for me, I used flat-out bribery with dollar-store stuffed animals (which was fine until the dollar-store ones stopped working and then things got expensive, but way less expensive than therapy and corrected our little problem in 4 months--about 150 stuffed animals later because I usually had to buy one for my son as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-03-24T03:14:00.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24249" CreationDate="2016-03-24T12:42:07.537" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just my personal opinion, but:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think this is a choice you should leave up to your children. Whether or not a vegetarian or vegan diet is good, advisable or even ethically required is very much in debate, with good arguments for both sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a medical point of view, I think the general consensus is that vegetarian is ok for children, if it is carefully balanced, while vegan is (at least) discouraged because it is close to impossible ot meet a child's nutritional needs without supplements. So an important point against a vegan diet is that you may harm your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For such ambiguous cases, I think the children's wishes should take precedence. You can explain your choice to them in terms they can understand (even a 4-yo should be able to grasp the basic issue), then let them decide. And I would be very wary about a vegan diet (even if they should choose it), because of the concerns noted above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At any rate, a decision like whether they prefer vegetarianism over eating the birthday cake should be left up to them, as it's really a very personal decision, and one they should be able to make.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note:&lt;/em&gt; My wife is vegetarian (though not vegan), while I am not, and we let our daughter decide for herself - the result is she ocasionally eats meat, but rarely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-03-24T12:42:07.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24340" CreationDate="2016-03-24T13:07:47.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a similar problem with my son, and the reason he loved it was because it's packed full of sweetness to make it drinkable for older kids. If you have ever tasted breast milk (or formula), it has very little sweetness to it; that is why your child will not want to take it anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mixed little bits of PediaSure with formula for a week or so, to give it that sweetness while gently weaning him back into formula. Be sure to take out an equal amount of formula to the amount of PediaSure that you add.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21696" LastEditorUserId="17352" LastEditDate="2016-03-25T12:55:28.763" LastActivityDate="2016-03-25T12:55:28.763" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24467" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24444" CreationDate="2016-03-24T13:30:46.590" Score="8" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Everything looks fine about the trip (reputable group with long, positive track record, worthy cause, etc.) except for one thing: It is 8 weeks long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a group that has a lot of experience planning such trips for 14-year-olds?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The answer to the main question: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Any thoughts on how to know if a long trip away from family and friends is appropriate for a teen?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;depends a lot on the details of what kind of trip it is and what the experiences during the trip will be like.  Although it's hard to tell for sure from your question, &lt;em&gt;it sounds like this is a reputable group which plans 8-week trips that are appropriate for the age of the participants,&lt;/em&gt; quite successfully.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cited your trip to Australia and noted&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I know I was getting homesick before the 3 weeks were up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and there's a good chance your son will experience at least some moments of homesickness (as well as other various discomforts) during those 8 weeks.  But, here's the thing: &lt;em&gt;he'll get over it.&lt;/em&gt;  From your description, it sounds like the group will have leaders trained in helping kids get through perfectly normal feelings of missing home, such as by acknowledging and reinforcing the value of home but also bringing focus to the situation and opportunities at hand.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;8 weeks away from family and friends  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It'll be 8 weeks away from family, but probably 8 weeks of rich interactions with new friends.  You may have a hard time pulling him away from those new friends when you pick him up at the end of it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21685" LastActivityDate="2016-03-24T13:30:46.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24444" CreationDate="2016-03-24T13:50:12.390" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although you may feel that this is a long time (I agree it is) every kid is different.  He may not get homesick.  He may be one of those kids that will be just fine.  I would definitely encourage this kind of thing.  It is an amazing opportunity for your son to learn and be exposed to different cultures. &#xA;I would just be open and honest with him and let him know that if he goes he is there for the 8 weeks, and you can't just hop in the car and go and get him.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If he is showing an interest in going he may just be ok.  You know your child best and know what he can handle, just keep talking about it and you will make the right choice for him.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;He will be so busy I am sure the 8 weeks will fly by.  Good Luck  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21689" LastActivityDate="2016-03-24T13:50:12.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24469" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-24T16:10:09.153" Score="2" ViewCount="603" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 3.5-year-old child we know was sat down for misbehaving and then scratched his own face drawing blood. We wondered how common this was and how it may be stopped from happening again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How unusual is it for a 3.5-year-old to scratch his own face drawing blood?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21699" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-08T13:07:38.713" LastActivityDate="2019-03-08T13:07:38.713" Title="How unusual is it for a 3.5-year-old to scratch his own face and draw blood?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|safety|violence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24471" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14193" CreationDate="2016-03-25T07:37:16.933" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was always told by a car seat specialist that 2 hours was max,then 30-40 mins break of them kicking legs about,due to curvature of the spine &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21707" LastActivityDate="2016-03-25T07:37:16.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24473" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24476" CreationDate="2016-03-25T20:50:42.067" Score="5" ViewCount="1938" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not against soccer, but my son is 9 and still doesn't know what is right for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband completely supports him. But I believe so much soccer could influence the child's mentality and to reflect his results in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21686" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2016-03-25T21:23:55.543" LastActivityDate="2016-03-27T20:51:26.923" Title="Isn't it too much having 5 times a week soccer trainings?" Tags="|development|sports|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24474" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-25T21:16:34.470" Score="3" ViewCount="313" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is now going on 8 months and crawling. He is finally allowed to crawl past the futon- floor bed but is  forbidden from possible slight danger or a little dusty areas. Obviously electricity or chemical/plants are real dangers to save him from. She can change but is  a control freak who can scream and shout indefinitely. My mother-in-law might have feed him crushed strawberry and left a stain but she forgave her eventually so she could look after him again. How can I show her that this overprotectiveness isn't the way? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11975" LastActivityDate="2016-03-30T13:07:18.067" Title="How can I demonstrate to my wife that her overprotecting my crawling son is counterproductive" Tags="|communication|crawling|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24473" CreationDate="2016-03-25T22:20:24.420" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's good for your kid to learn a strong work ethic and teamwork early on. Emphasize the importance of keeping his grade up and in addition to his soccer. A lot of my high achieving high school students also play sports. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I always wanted to play soccer as a kid about your son's age, but my mother forbade it and told me to focus on my studies. It's always been a big regret of mine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastActivityDate="2016-03-25T22:20:24.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24476" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24473" CreationDate="2016-03-25T22:38:22.557" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many children who focus on a particular sport may do this many training sessions a week, or more. When I was competing for my county in swimming I used to train up to 8 or 10 times a week, and my kids train more than 5 times a week in gymnastics and swimming. They still score very highly academically, and I certainly got into a good university on my academic record.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is to balance their sport with academic learning - they are both good for you. As long as your child can get the academic results they need, taking part in a sport is going to keep them healthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-03-25T22:38:22.557" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24477" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24473" CreationDate="2016-03-25T22:57:12.190" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The American Association of Pediatrics have a couple of reports which are worth reading on the subject of children's sports/training.  None of them specifically cover academic achievement but look at sports from a health perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/6/1242&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Overuse Injuries, Overtraining, and Burnout in Child and Adolescent Athletes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/106/1/154&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Intensive Training and Sports Specialization in Young Athletes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The articles concede there is limited research on the subject of children's sport but some of the most relevant parts say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those who participate in a variety of sports and specialize only after reaching the age of puberty tend to be more consistent performers, have fewer injuries, and adhere to sports play longer than those who specialize early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without specific studies on academic performance, they do make some notes on psychosocial development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdotal reports suggest risks of “burnout” from physical and emotional stress, missed social and educational opportunities, and disruptions of family life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also include some guidelines on the amount of activity to help prevent overtraining/burnout:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep workouts interesting, with age-appropriate games and training, to keep practice fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take time off from organized or structured sports participation 1 to 2 days per week to allow the body to rest or participate in other activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Permit longer scheduled breaks from training and competition every 2 to 3 months while focusing on other activities and cross-training to prevent loss of skill or level of conditioning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Focus on wellness and teaching athletes to be in tune with their bodies for cues to slow down or alter their training methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.usyouthsoccer.org/news/sports_training_-_how_much_is_too_much/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;US Youth Soccer&lt;/a&gt; offer some things to look out for such as:-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Slower times in distance sports such as running, cycling, and swimming&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Deterioration in execution of sports plays or routines such as those performed in figure skating and gymnastics&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Decreased ability to achieve training goals&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lack of motivation to practice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting tired easily&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Irritability and unwillingness to cooperate with teammates&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, the tendency when a parent or coach is confronted with signs of overtraining is to push the child harder. But if overtraining is the culprit, any increase in training will only worsen the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt;  There isn't any evidence on academic achievement in relation to sports and it's really up to you to look out for the signs of when it's too much.  Try to encourage your child to take up a range of physically different sports/activities and watch for signs of &amp;quot;burnout&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-03-25T22:57:12.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24379" CreationDate="2016-03-26T04:32:57.507" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Someone who exhibits polar opposite behavior in different situations is doing so, generally speaking, from one of 2 causes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Behavior reinforcement in each situation varies, so the behavior reflects what is perceived as gaining what is good/desired by the person.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Proper medications are administered at a time when the constructive behavior is demonstrated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if timing can be analyzed and #2 is determined to be the case, speaking with the doctor managing his care is in the best interest of the child.  Probably, though, in your case, it should be his mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If, on the other hand, it is #1, then the key is to identify what about the other situation is causing him to perceive that his behavior is giving him what he wants.  You'll need to determine what he wants: acceptance, attention, avoidance of punishment, etc.  Once you know what he wants and how he accepts it, then you can interact with him in a way which reinforces proper behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Dale Carnegie, author of &quot;How to win friends and influence people&quot;, says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and &quot;arousing in the other person an eager want.&quot; (His book also establishes that one's actions must be sincere, not contrived, to be effective.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All too often those of us who live with mental disorders suffer from conscription of all that ails our behavior to those identified mental disorders, when the truth is that we are still human and want what everyone wants: enjoyment/happiness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Working with his mother, doctor, &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; him, though, will allow everyone to best determine the most effective course of action to establish a well-rounded future-adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final tip: &lt;em&gt;Ask him what he wants.&lt;/em&gt;  You'd be surprised how people will open up when someone who cares asks the most simple of questions with an open ear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6357" LastActivityDate="2016-03-26T04:32:57.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24481" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-26T09:36:58.973" Score="3" ViewCount="680" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 3 year old son. He's quite outgoing with kids around his age and with most adults.  He goes to daycare a few days a week and interacts fine with the other kids.  However he is sensitive and can get upset easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a situation that is more hard for me to handle than him, as an example.  My son and I were playing soccer on the beach.  We were having fun kicking the ball around with each other.  Two older boys (between 4 and 6) came running over and were wanting to kick our ball as well.  There parents were no where to be seen.  At first it was okay, they kicked it around with us but I could see my son getting upset because the older boys didn't want to kick it back to him.  Eventually my son said to me, &quot;Can we go home now daddy&quot;. He wasn't interested in playing anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried a few times to be polite to the older boys, asking things like, &quot;where are your parents&quot; or saying, &quot;I am just trying to teach him how to play soccer&quot;.  The older boys obviously didn't get it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I react in a situation like this? I feel like if I rouse on the older kids I'm being a jerk, but I would've liked them to leave us alone so we could play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21714" LastActivityDate="2016-03-31T08:58:20.997" Title="How to handle older kids with my younger son" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24482" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-27T00:29:52.553" Score="6" ViewCount="1858" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 year old stepgranddaughter orders the most expensive item on restaurant menu and then won't eat it.  She always has an excuse... my stomach hurts, my head hurts, etc. won't ever put her cell phone down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I buy her gifts for birthdays, Christmas, gifts brought back from vacation and she never thanks us.  I have quit buying gifts for any occasion but the restaurant is driving us crazy.  It isn't cheap to buy dinner out for six people and her mother won't say a word about her ordering all the expensive food and not eating it.  My son won't say anything either as she isn't his child. I guess we will have to quit taking them out for dinners as I cannot tolerate this 14 year old ungratefulness anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is a next time I would like to say to her, &quot;Jillian&quot; your limit is $6.00 for food and if you aren't going to eat it, don't order it.  But, I know that would create a horrid scene for my son and his wife. Does anyone have any suggestions for me please?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21718" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-28T16:15:35.890" LastActivityDate="2017-04-28T23:48:46.150" Title="My step granddaughter orders expensive meals, but won't eat them" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24485" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24474" CreationDate="2016-03-27T08:12:12.010" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can offer some first hand experience from yesterday! My daughter (our first), is 9 months old, and she crawled for the first time less than a week ago. Now (6 days later) she's a pro and can go really fast. I am the overprotecting parent, and yesterday every time she crawled out of her play area, I would pick her up and move her back in. This continued for a while until it was my wife's turn to watch her. A couple of minutes later I saw my daughter crawling around the kitchen floor and I freaked out! I picked her up, moved her back to her play area, and asked my wife why she let her go into the kitchen? She said, &quot;Why not? What are you worried about?&quot; I didn't have a good answer except maybe the floor is hard (compared to the carpet where she plays), and my wife kind of laughed at me and said &quot;She's fine!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't say that will work for your wife, but it worked for me. I realized that I was being irrational.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That being said, my daughter can't stand on her own yet, but she can pull herself up and remain up, seemingly indefinitely, if she's holding on to something. But every time she stands up, I immediately run over and sit behind her so I can catch her if she falls. My wife laughs at me for this too, but I've seen her fall and hit her head before, so I'll probably keep doing this until I'm confident she can keep her balance. Unlike crawling on the floor, there's probably nothing my wife could say that would change my mind on this one. So choose your battles...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20263" LastActivityDate="2016-03-27T08:12:12.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2016-03-27T18:08:22.470" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 year old uses a puddle jumper with no problem BUT that is all she had ever used, other than a sit in floater. I will mention that she is only 24lbs and 17 months old. I think it honestly just depends on the child&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21723" LastActivityDate="2016-03-27T18:08:22.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24487" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-27T20:17:52.820" Score="4" ViewCount="25684" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a single mom to a 7-year-old boy. He is still not potty trained. I have been trying to potty train him since he was 3, but he just doesn't listen. I have to send him to school in a diaper and get teachers to change him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I refuse to give him a diaper and put him in underwear, he will just pee in his pants. This is extremely embarrassing when we are on the subway and he is standing there with his pants half way down his legs and peeing. I have before had to carry him around the street naked while he peed on the sidewalk and got all his clothes wet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to stop this embarrassment and how to potty train him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21725" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-18T12:33:39.743" LastActivityDate="2022-09-30T07:30:08.363" Title="How to potty train my 7-year-old son?" Tags="|primary-schooler|potty-training|enuresis|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-03-27T20:30:36.467" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;The rule at my house was &quot;You don't have to wear them, but you have to bring them with you.&quot;  This started in grade one or two.  My boys abided by this, and often changed their minds about wearing them en route.  This was a low consequence decision that set the standard for snow pants, touques, winter boots, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21726" LastActivityDate="2016-03-27T20:30:36.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24473" CreationDate="2016-03-27T20:51:26.923" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends how passionate your child is about their hobby. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My two daughters 6 and 12 LOVE dance. They both dance 3 hours after school everyday, and 5 hours on Saturday. It's a lot but it's what they want to do. They still manage to do all their school work have dinner and get to bed for 8:15. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son finds its too much he will let you know, my 6 year old had said to me before can I have a week off dance, so they will let you know if it becomes too much &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21725" LastActivityDate="2016-03-27T20:51:26.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24490" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24429" CreationDate="2016-03-27T23:51:30.880" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Yes&lt;/strong&gt;, 6 months is a great time to travel with babies. They're big enough to not cry randomly and have a schedule you can plan around, but small enough to still be easily portable and immobile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now obviously they're not going to get much out of the Rijksmuseum, and they're still going to limit the things you can do and the places you can go,  but hey, that's parenthood, and you as the parents can still get something out of the experience. And it's much easier to travel at 6 months than it will be once they start crawling, much less get into the &quot;terrible twos&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2016-03-27T23:51:30.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24491" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24487" CreationDate="2016-03-28T01:12:34.110" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was in diapers too old, I solved my son's resistance by using diapers a size smaller each day, and told him he was suddenly outgrowing them.  Yes, this meant intensive potty training when he finally used his last one.  There was potty time at the top of each hour, a potty next to his bed at night, and some wet pants.  This was backed up with positive reinforcement, and a potty book which he enjoyed.  It took about three days to get the got the hang of it.  If that fails, you can also resort to bribery with jelly beans.  Not ideal parenting, but quite effective as motivation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21726" LastActivityDate="2016-03-28T01:12:34.110" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24481" CreationDate="2016-03-28T02:01:54.317" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also have a 3 year old (girl though), and I never miss an opportunity for a good life lesson :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that situation, most likely I would have first asked my child if she wanted to kick the ball (obviously the answer would be 'yes' then I would have told her to ask them to kick the ball to her. Its possible the big kids didn't mean anything malicious and simply forgot about your little one, in which case a simple reminder would do the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lesson here is to speak up for yourself. Now if the children ignored her then I'd step in, very direct ('Hey make sure you kick  the ball') but I don't think 3 is too early of an age to start driving that message home, being around older kids is something that's not going to go away soon, and more often than not they're going to treat younger kids the same way, and of course we won't always be there to help them out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once we were at the park, and my little one wanted to get on the jungle gym, so I let her, and there were so many VERY big kids on there too! (9 year Olds and up,  boys and girls lol) so I let her, and stayed close to make sure she didn't get trampled, most kids just went around her, there was one time I had to grab a kids foot because he almost stepped on her hand, but all in all it went well, after a while she pushed a bigger kid down the slide because she was taking too long, so perhaps it worked a little &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; well lol.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old also has a younger sibling, so I get these little life lessons a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3858" LastEditorUserId="3858" LastEditDate="2016-03-28T12:06:23.360" LastActivityDate="2016-03-28T12:06:23.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24482" CreationDate="2016-03-28T10:56:06.787" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;A confrontation about this needs to be done in a private setting, not in the restaurant. I can't think of any good reason to wait to spring it on her until she's ready to order -- as you've said, that would result in quite a scene. Sit down at home with your son, your daughter-in-law, and the granddaughter, and explain the problem as you see it: you love being able to treat your extended family to meals and love spending time with them in that setting, but it hurts you to see hard-earned money spent on wasted food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to keep the conversation calm and focused. Don't get into broader issues of ingratitude, disrespectful behavior, too much time on the phone, speculating on the kid's upbringing before now... keep the topic on something that is potentially solvable: her behavior when eating out with extended family. You could suggest this is why you won't be eating out as a family, you could suggest that your son and daughter-in-law are now going to be financially responsible for their own family unit's plates and you'll just pay for yourself -- do whatever you're comfortable with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After having this conversation, there are a few ways dinners might play out in future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The granddaughter changes her behavior, either willingly (out of guilt over being challenged, calmly and directly) or through parental intervention. Keep taking everyone out to dinner and enjoy the small victory.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your son and daughter-in-law see nothing wrong with the behavior and are offended that you've even brought it up. Don't argue or let things get heated (you don't want to burn all bridges with them over this), just calmly say you're sad that you won't be able to take them out to dinner as a family in future and change the subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every now and then, consider offering the idea of dinner as a group again as long as it isn't likely to set off the fight all over again. Time and perspective might help change their mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your son and daughter-in-law think it's a perfectly reasonable request and granddaughter agrees to eat what she orders (or at least not order steak and shrimp every time), but then when you get to the restaurant she plays the same game and doesn't eat her meal. At this point, don't bother saying anything: it's entirely up to her parents to enforce the new rule, and either they do (enjoy the small victory) or don't (calmly mention this the next time you extend an invitation to dinner).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-03-28T10:56:06.787" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24349" CreationDate="2016-03-28T16:02:58.690" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since you mentioned Aspergers, one possible problem is that the child is less empathetic than typical, and is unable to easily comprehend mentally the damage they cause to another child by stealing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One approach I saw working very well with an Asperger's child is that the punishment - following a detailed explanation of hows and whys - is that they have to take something they themselves own, and give to another child as restitution for theft.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This acts on both levels:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Because the child experiences a loss of a belonging, they can now empathize easier with others in same situation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Because it is explicitly framed as consequences of theft, they also now have negative reinforcement regarding the behavior extrinsically. While it may be less effective long term compared to intrinsic correction, it is still valuable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="604" LastActivityDate="2016-03-28T16:02:58.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-03-28T17:20:50.493" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There's no cutoff age. It depends on the child.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two things to bear in mind:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Firstly&lt;/strong&gt;, children have a wide a variety of intellectual and emotional differences.&lt;/em&gt; If you're 16-year-old refuses to &lt;em&gt;demonstrate&lt;/em&gt; a working knowledge of cold-induced conditions and their symptoms, his opinion is largely irrelevant. Defer to your own opinion as the adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, if your 8-year-old can comprehend and demonstrate a working knowledge of the effects and symptoms of being &lt;em&gt;too cold&lt;/em&gt; (e.g., frostbite and hypothermia symptoms), you can trust them &lt;em&gt;to an extent.&lt;/em&gt; Just bear in mind, children have a particular high tendency to hyper-focus on their play and fail to notice their bodily signals. You'll often need to pay attention &lt;em&gt;for&lt;/em&gt; them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child hasn't yet demonstrated an ability to keep track of their bodily signals (cold hands, blue lips, &lt;em&gt;shivering&lt;/em&gt;), you need to be calling the shots -- and probably checking on them with regularity proportional to the coldness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's no defined age-cutoff at which a person is suddenly intellectually and emotionally mature enough to understand what &quot;too cold&quot; is. Lots of &quot;adults&quot; get frostbite and hypothermia every winter. And lots of young children manage &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Secondly,&lt;/strong&gt; cold tolerance differs greatly between people.&lt;/em&gt; From &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.businessinsider.com/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-frostbite-or-hypothermia-2014-1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&quot;how long does it take to get frostbite or hypothermia&quot; (Business Insider)&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Surprisingly, &lt;strong&gt;hypothermia can occur at any temperature lower than&#xA;  normal body temperature&lt;/strong&gt;. Factors like body fat, age, alcohol&#xA;  consumption, and especially wetness can affect how long hypothermia&#xA;  takes to strike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;Emphasis is mine.&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whether &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; feel or &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; feel cold can be pretty irrelevant to whether your child is OK. This applies to being too cold &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; too warm. You really need to keep an eye on the signs and learn your child's tolerances. And, per the first point, you need to be responsible for the monitoring activity until your child demonstrates they're able to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Anecdotally&lt;/em&gt;, my oldest son, can play outside on calm, 40-ish (F) degree days and come back feeling fine, with incredibly warm hands, lips, face, etc.. My oldest daughter, has a higher metabolism and is much leaner and seemingly more muscular. If it's below 60 F., she generally &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; to wear a jacket or she'll come back in with freezing hands and blue lips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, neither one of them &lt;em&gt;consistently&lt;/em&gt; recognize the need for a jacket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21733" LastEditorUserId="21733" LastEditDate="2016-04-01T14:04:49.910" LastActivityDate="2016-04-01T14:04:49.910" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24500" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-29T11:48:32.300" Score="3" ViewCount="295" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby is 11 months old. His weight is 9.5kg. Is it safe to use a baby carrier worn on the back to carry him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21747" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-14T12:54:50.323" LastActivityDate="2019-04-14T12:54:50.323" Title="Is it safe to use a baby carrier worn on the back to carry an 11-month-old?" Tags="|infant|safety|transport|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24502" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-29T13:11:35.763" Score="3" ViewCount="17812" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just cancelled my order for a playpen. The playpen that I ordered is 1.2 m x 2 m (we live in a city apartment). I read online that putting your baby in a playpen is akin to neglect. Babies placed in a playpen could grow up to be less intelligent than their peers because they are not free to explore their surroundings. Their curiosity and creativity will be dampened apparently. They could experience developmental delay because they can't access furniture to assist them to stand or walk. In addition, I read that it may cause depression because of the isolation. They could even experience language delay because of being left alone. What do you think? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing I was thinking was, what if I sit in the playpen and play with her? Because one of the annoying things is having to contain her to stop her from hurting herself (we have tile floors so she gets hurt when she falls down). I was thinking I'd put a soft playmat inside the playpen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21748" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-07T12:18:42.230" LastActivityDate="2023-09-19T09:09:28.690" Title="Are playpens (playards) physically or mentally damaging?" Tags="|toddler|infant|development|safety|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24502" CreationDate="2016-03-29T13:47:20.777" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, relax.  You sound like you're doing the New Parent Thing and assuming that every potential mistake is a potential disaster!  If you're sensible and careful, things will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Putting a child in a playpen doesn't mean that you're neglecting them.  It doesn't mean that they're isolated.  It doesn't mean that they don't have access to toys.  Whilst in the playpen, they won't have furniture to help them stand and walk but they -will- have the playpen itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A playpen is a way to limiting your child's ability to travel.  That's -all- that it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they're in a playpen that's large enough, safely constructed, with enough things to keep them entertained and where you can keep an eye on them (and let them be with you) then there's no harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use your common sense.  Keep providing love, protection and care and everything will be okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2016-03-29T13:47:20.777" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24506" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24474" CreationDate="2016-03-29T18:12:20.530" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't protect your kids from everything. &lt;br&gt;&#xA;That's a given. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Without saying your kid could play in the dustbin or the trash can, you can highlight that a clean but not aseptized environment can diminish the risk of allergies later in life and help building stronger immunity. For example, having a pet in house drastically reduce the risks of allergy and help the social upbringing of children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the physical risks, it's a bit harder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you can point that kids are empathic sponges. And a stressed mommy makes for a stressed baby, and no one want that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The harsh part will be to explain  all this without saying your wife is a bad mother : if she tries to care for your child, she is at worst misguided. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastActivityDate="2016-03-29T18:12:20.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24474" CreationDate="2016-03-29T18:49:44.397" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Humans have been having babies for centuries.  And in all that time and in the various places around the world, we haven't all grown up in completely sterile, baby-proof worlds free of pain and hardship.  And guess what?  Most of us survived to adulthood and are doing just fine.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You grow by learning to deal with different things, even falling down once in a while or bonking your head.  How will your child ever learn that you are there for them when things get bad if nothing bad ever happens?  How are they going to learn that a stubbed toe isn't the end of the world if they never learn how to deal with pain?  How will they learn if they like peaches if they never get to taste them?  You can't build up a strong immune system without being exposed to disease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This isn't to say that you should never protect your child.  But don't sweat the little things.  Touching a cold or hard floor is not even in the same league as being crushed by a falling bookshelf.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you need experiences to become a successful, well-balanced person.  Your wife is robbing your child of these experiences.  Also, people (babies included) have a way of learning to avoid experiences and things they don't like.  So if the floor is cold and your kid doesn't like it, he will learn not to go there.  Your kid will never learn that if he never touches a cold floor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-03-29T18:49:44.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24502" CreationDate="2016-03-29T22:45:59.207" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might be thinking of something like the old experiments showing the self-destructive behavior of animals restrained to fairly small areas with no mental stimulation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong/transcript?language=en&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here's a relevant TED talk.&lt;/a&gt;  See especially the section around 3:25:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You get a rat and you put it in a cage, and you give it two water bottles: One is just water, and the other is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drug water and almost always kill itself quite quickly. So there you go, right? That's how we think it works. In the '70s, Professor Alexander comes along and he looks at this experiment and he noticed something. He said ah, we're putting the rat in an empty cage. It's got nothing to do except use these drugs. Let's try something different. So Professor Alexander built a cage that he called &quot;Rat Park,&quot; which is basically heaven for rats. They've got loads of cheese, they've got loads of colored balls, they've got loads of tunnels. Crucially, they've got loads of friends. They can have loads of sex. And they've got both the water bottles, the normal water and the drugged water. But here's the fascinating thing: In Rat Park, they don't like the drug water. They almost never use it. None of them ever use it compulsively. None of them ever overdose. You go from almost 100 percent overdose when they're isolated to zero percent overdose when they have happy and connected lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So don't worry about the playpen.  It can be a good way to keep the child within safe bounds and explore and try new things without getting hurt, which teaches the kid to not fear trying things that might not work out.  If there are stimulating toys and important social connections, that's the important part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Another thing I was thinking was, what if I sit in the playpen and play with her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, do this.  The main concerns that seem to underly your question are those things that can result from leaving the kid alone for long periods without much stimulation or opportunity to learn, even if the kid is not in a playpen.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21685" LastActivityDate="2016-03-29T22:45:59.207" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24513" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24474" CreationDate="2016-03-30T13:07:18.067" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter will not be baby forever so she needs to learn. The best way of learning is to try stuff and experience the consequences. Your job as a parent is to find the balancing between giving enough freedom that learning can occur and given enough restrictions so that no serious damage either to people or property happens. This starts with crawling but will continue with walking, riding a bike, getting to school on there own, crossing a busy street, getting the hang of school, sports, going out on there own, friendships, learning to drive, boy/girlfriends, sexuality, drugs &amp;amp; alcohol etc. So you might as well start now agreeing on how to best handle this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your wife should to agree on where to set the balance by looking at the consequences of going too far on either end of the spectrum. What's an acceptable risk to take now to avoid a significantly bigger risk later? You don't teach kids how to swim by waiting until they are 18 and than just throw them in the deep end of the pool. Good questions to ask yourselves&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What's the risk here? Is there any real danger for serious damage to persons or property?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What do I want my kid to learn in this situation? What experience do I want the kid to have so that learning occurs (HINT: saying &quot;no&quot; doesn't work for learning, it's rarely about what you say, it's what you do or the behavior you model)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I want my kid to behave in this situation in three years from now? What learning steps need to happen so that he/she can get there and what do I need to do to make sure the learning happens.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this particular example: crawling and falling off stuff in the process is good learning. Very unlikely to hurt or even get a bump. Very helpful in dealing with stairs later: Our kids used to lie on a futon and occasionally fell off on the carpet. That's how they learned what an &quot;edge&quot; is and they learned by trial and error that the best way to negotiate this is to shuffle down butt first. When they started walking and encountered stairs or steps going down they all showed the same behavior: stop, turn around, and shuffle down butt first. In contrasts a friend's kid walked straight on, fell down the steps and ended up with an arm in a cast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2016-03-30T13:07:18.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24500" CreationDate="2016-03-30T13:23:06.380" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming you're talking about a baby carrier, &lt;strong&gt;Yes.&lt;/strong&gt; You can wear an 11 month old on your back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some details:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is recommended by &lt;a href=&quot;http://babywearinginternational.org/what-is-babywearing/safety/&quot;&gt;Babywearing International&lt;/a&gt; that you wait until a baby can sit unassisted or with minimal assistance before putting him or her on your back. This is because being able to sit indicates a level of neck &amp;amp; trunk control that means you don't have to worry about the baby's airway being compromised. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use the baby carrier as recommended by the manufacturer. If the carrier says that it cannot be used on the back, believe it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some popular examples of buckle carriers that can be used on that back, called soft structured carriers or SSCs by the pros, are the &lt;a href=&quot;http://blog.ergobaby.com/2012/05/the-back-carry-safe-easy-practical/&quot;&gt;Ergo&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.becobabycarrier.com/cat-13/gemini&quot;&gt;Beco&lt;/a&gt;, and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tulababycarriers.com/collections/ergonomic-baby-carriers&quot;&gt;Tula&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hiking backpacks, that hold the baby away from the body of the adult, are also safe to use at this age, but tend to be much more involved and less cozy. Some love them for longer treks. A good example of this type of carrier is a &lt;a href=&quot;https://kelty.com/kids/&quot;&gt;Kelty&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can also wear your baby in a non-backpack type carrier, such as a &lt;a href=&quot;http://babywearinginternational.org/what-is-babywearing/babywearing-resources/intermediate-and-advanced-back-carries/&quot;&gt;woven&lt;/a&gt; or a &lt;a href=&quot;http://babywearinginternational.org/what-is-babywearing/babywearing-resources/mei-tai/&quot;&gt;mei tai&lt;/a&gt;, but these have a higher learning curve. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Enjoy wearing your baby! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20772" LastActivityDate="2016-03-30T13:23:06.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24502" CreationDate="2016-03-30T16:17:25.100" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;If all you ever did was leave the child in a playpen you might have a point. But when used as a place to keep the child safe when you can't give it your full attention, they are invaluable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Youngster is taking a nap and by golly you need one too? Put em in and lay yourself down. If it wakes before you - it's in a safe place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Need to answer the door / fold laundry / start dinner / shower / use the bathroom? In it goes for a few minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Equating constant use of it with occasional use is silly. If, however, a parent ise using it as an excuse not to childproof their place and is looking to limit the child to the pen for most of the time, then I think the neglect is indeed happening, but the problem isn't the playpen. At that point the playpen is just a tool to enable neglect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-03-30T16:17:25.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2016-03-30T21:27:37.807" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand your hesitancy to ask your kids to call him grampa. Your stepdad sounds great, and I'm sure he's the best. However, it sounds like you feel some loyalty to your dad, and don't want to push him aside. If it was me, I would feel the same. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yet, he probably feels a longing to have a more familiar greeting from kids he is learning to love, and wants to embrace into his life as, well, grandkids. If you resist too strongly, he may take it as a sign that you want to maintain distance, and it may be a barrier to closeness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first thought was: &quot;Papa-Joe&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or just Papaw. When I lived in the southern US, a lot of people called their granddad &quot;Papaw&quot;.  (Pronounced Paa-Paw). That gives him the familiar honorific of a grandad type name, without making you uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Hey kids, let's go see gramma and Papa-Joe / Papaw!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: if the kids spontaneously start calling him grampa, I would let it happen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16337" LastActivityDate="2016-03-30T21:27:37.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24518" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-30T21:50:26.463" Score="3" ViewCount="469" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sending bottles of pumped milk to daycare for my 5-month old. When we start her on solids, do I send &lt;em&gt;extra&lt;/em&gt; milk to mix into her cereal, or do I keep sending the &lt;em&gt;same&lt;/em&gt; amount of milk, some of which will be fed in bottles and some in the cereal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;eg... do I have to pump &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt; milk once she starts cereal??&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21760" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-11T13:15:23.580" LastActivityDate="2018-12-11T13:15:23.580" Title="When I start baby cereal, should I pump extra milk?" Tags="|breastfeeding|daycare|solids|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24519" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10471" CreationDate="2016-03-31T07:58:49.347" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a good starting point for acting as a role model for teaching limits and boundaries. This is how we handled it. Our children have &quot;golden time&quot;, a time and space for them to do what they want, how they want, limited to an hour maximum. Subsequently, when we (the parents) want to have sex during the day we tell the children, who are 10 &amp;amp; 7, it's mummy and daddy's &quot;golden time&quot; aka we need some privacy, that privacy is needed by parents (it may not just be about sex).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another boundary that we have set is that after 11pm everyone is in bed and only need to come out of the bedroom if it's an &quot;issue&quot; that can't be easily resolved by the kids (or a toilet break obvs.). These you build up over time. Sadly, having children is a long game and you build these things up over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Managing how you want to have sex is a good starting point to help guide your child through life, think about how your parents handled it and how you would have liked it to be tackled, then you can use that to help your child to navigate interpersonal boundaries and how sex is used in relationships. It's important to understand what messages you are sending and how your son is decoding them, because he's now at the age where his socialisation is starting to be set up for adult life. Think of all the permutations of what your son is encountering, how he may interpret it and how it may affect him in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to find ways to explain in his terms, using metaphors that he understands. Using the adult speak like (and I'll be trite here) &quot;do not enter my interpersonal space as I am engaging in ... and I am not comfortable...&quot;, children don't internally speak to themselves like that, they need it in terms they can understand and relate to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastActivityDate="2016-03-31T07:58:49.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24520" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24481" CreationDate="2016-03-31T08:58:20.997" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It gets easier with time, first time I encountered a situation like this I was like you, what I learned from it was &quot;fair active control &amp;amp; engagement&quot;. Subsequent times I've been in a similar situation, children (older or younger) who I don't know, want to participate in a game with my kids, is to take control of the game, engage all the kids (including my own) equally and to ensure everyone gets fairly treated. Basically be the referee/umpire like in football/cricket (american football/baseball).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's difficult one because there is also a fine line being trodden as to being a responsible adult/parent. First question you should ask of the kids who join in is where are your parents/who's looking after you? If your not comfortable with the answer, just tell them to go and get permission to join in. That especially will help you understand the &quot;tone&quot; of how things will play out. Alternately, pack up and move somewhere else - it's better to manage yourself and move away rather then end up in a situation that you could become very uncomfortable with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastActivityDate="2016-03-31T08:58:20.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5872" CreationDate="2016-03-31T13:23:49.370" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just because a boy acts feminine doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. He could be transgender. There's a big difference between sexual identity and gender identity. Either way, the boy is just expressing himself. You shouldn't correct him. That will only make him think there is something wrong with him and throw him into a depression. Just leave him alone and just see if it manifests into something else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21762" LastActivityDate="2016-03-31T13:23:49.370" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24525" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-03-31T16:22:43.323" Score="2" ViewCount="200" Body="&lt;p&gt;You let children do what they love to do, what their souls want them to do. Suppose children such as&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;boys want to learn cheerleading, ballet, music, yoga, surfing and&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;girls want to be the next Ronda Rousey, learn MMA, do powerlifting&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;mix of the earlier and more traditional ones&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;where the nature of 1 and 2 can be seen by some people as rebellious to the degree that it is hard to find training environments for the children without being overly sexualised to just a gender. So&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to grow children who are not hesitant to challenge traditional roles in sports?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20563" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-03-31T22:04:41.457" LastActivityDate="2016-04-01T07:31:21.267" Title="Children challenging traditional role models in sports, how to help them to grow to their best?" Tags="|sports|role-models|gender-stereotypes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24525" CreationDate="2016-03-31T22:00:31.440" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two key things that I would look for when my child is &quot;challenging&quot; a gender stereotyped activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The right coach/teacher.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've written before about &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/18659/4054&quot;&gt;the importance of having a qualified instructor for health and safety reasons&lt;/a&gt;. This can be even more important in a sport where most children are a different sex, since there are some physiological differences that can result in different effects on a child's growing body than the instructor might expect. Do they know whether gender matters, have they read research, what are their qualifications?  Have they taught girls to lift weights or boys to dance ballet before? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Equally important, find an adult who brings a positive attitude and encourages enjoyment. When helping a child develop their love of a sport or activity, they need an ally who cheers them on. That's more true when they don't fit the stereotype of the &quot;right kind&quot; of participant.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Look for role models.&lt;/strong&gt; If your daughter wants to box, find famous women boxers. If your son wants to dance, find famous ballerinos. Look for video clips on YouTube, biographies, local events. Find older students (e.g. high school) of the same activity who may be willing to talk to your child about some of the challenges, and why &lt;em&gt;they've&lt;/em&gt; stuck with it over the years despite being &quot;different&quot; than their peers.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The positive attitude and role models are things that I've witnessed as powerful tools used by my daughter's ballet teacher for her black dance students. They spend class time watching performances by Misty Copeland. Their studio walls have an unusually diverse assortment of ballerinas pictured, and it's a much richer and welcoming space than the typical tall, stick thin, pale and blond photographs I've seen in other studios. It's not a perfect world; there will be plenty of other people who tell those kids &lt;em&gt;YOU can't be a ballerina, you don't look &quot;right&quot;&lt;/em&gt;. But it's ideal to give them a fair start and a place to thrive while they decide if they're passionate enough to pursue this long term, or it was just fun to learn to dance for a couple years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-03-31T22:00:31.440" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24528" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24529" CreationDate="2016-03-31T22:33:32.627" Score="2" ViewCount="386" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15 months old girl hasn't learned any new words in 4 months. The only words she can say are 'Mom', 'Dad', 'Dog' and 'Hi'. She has started grunting for what she wants, but isn't saying anything more. Does this mean she might have a speech problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I am particularly worried because she was reaching milestones really well until she was about a year old. Now if anything, she uses the four words she knows less than she did four months ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21768" LastEditorUserId="14900" LastEditDate="2016-04-01T14:37:08.933" LastActivityDate="2016-04-01T14:37:08.933" Title="15 month old girl hasn't learned any new words in months" Tags="|toddler|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24528" CreationDate="2016-03-31T23:44:27.470" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should get your child in to be evaluated by her pediatrician.  There are a number of syndromes that could explain what you are perceiving, some of which are speech related, while others are general developmental issues.  I'm not going to name any of them because I'm not a doctor and you shouldn't be getting your child evaluated by some random person in the internet.  Wait until you have your diagnosis from a professional and &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; you can start googling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child has any of them it is so very important to get early diagnosis and treatment.  If she does not and this is simply normal development for her, you can at least gain peace of mind.  Don't assume either way, but don't let your doctor dismiss your apprehensions if you feel strongly that there is a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be afraid to ask for a specialist's opinion.  My daughter's GP dismissed our concerns about her speech delays for years.  &quot;Some children just start speaking later than others,&quot; he told us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We finally took her in to a speech therapist who discovered that she has severe aphasia and apraxia.  It is hard to strike a balance but I personally would feel better about erring on the side of being a touch paranoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-03-31T23:44:27.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24525" CreationDate="2016-04-01T07:31:21.267" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experiences of seeing my daughters (10&amp;amp;7) issues with this, wanting to play soccer, rugby, surfing,and do computing and gaming. Is not my support or the support of the adults coaching/running the activities. Things that you need to bear in mind regarding peer pressure, is to first understand where the mindsets are coming from. Peer pressure comes from stereotyping, individual stereotyping (in children) generally comes from the family setting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its the peer pressure from other children, my daughter at the age of 8 came home form an afterschool club for soccer, really upset because all the boys ganged up telling her that &quot;girls don't play footie&quot; a year later she got the same attitude over her playing Minecraft and Spore - girls don't play games. In a show and tell where she brought in photos of her building a PC at the age of five (with my supervision), again the same attitude girls don't do computing. The last one is my 10yo daughter is the only girl in her cub-scout pack again she'd bring home issues (AKA being upset by how she was treated).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So with that anecdotal information in mind,I set about devising ways to help her overcome and bypass those peer expectations. This is what I've found and this is only from the perspective of a girl doing &quot;boys&quot; activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By me (the father) taking active involvement in her activities it help somewhat to breakdown the some of the behaviours that bring about problems. I found that by being an actively involved father helped the boys in the groups re-engage with my daughter. Having a kick around before and after soccer class, encouraged other boys to join myself and my daughter, even though I was favouring her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the computing class it was arriving a bit early and spending a bit of time helping her to do a bit of animation which the boys found interesting and then getting my daughter to then show them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the scout pack again arriving early, participating in a quite complicated ropework task, I explain what we were going to do, she chose another cub to join us (it was a 3 person task), she explained to him. All the other cubs and scouts watched us succeed, were impressed and from that point on she became a first pick in activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I must point out that there is fall out from this, which is the inverse gender peer pressure. My daughters both get told they're not &quot;girly&quot; enough to participate in girls activities. That's when my wife became the active parent and does similar stuff to engage other girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is a difficult and time consuming one to solve if you want your child to be involved in non-gender stereotypical activities, you have to try to actively engage the other children in the group and by example you show that it's do-able. You must bear in mind as well there is also cultural bias to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just my example of how we as parents have dealt with this issue and frankly there is no easy answer. Predominantly it needs to be dealt with at a grassroots level and you have to be actively involved and set a good role model for your children and those you encounter with them. Irrespective of success or failure in the activity the outcome will be beneficial, in the long term, for your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastActivityDate="2016-04-01T07:31:21.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24533" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-01T17:00:27.260" Score="-2" ViewCount="8736" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am asking this question on behalf of my friend, who has an 18 year old daughter. She has always been talking to me about her daughter, and whenever she talks about her, she cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The girl was like this since an early age, and now she has gotten out of hand. She talks most of the day to her friends on their cell phones, and whenever my friend tries to stop her, she gets full of rage and refuses. Even I have tried to talk to her many times, but her behaviour is not good at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is never good to the guests, and is constantly involved in either chatting or phone calls. She never respects her parents at all, and is always ready to fight with them. She has isolated herself in a small room, chatting or talking, and closes the door so that no one can come in. Sometimes she behaves well, but the next day, the situation gets worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I advise my friend regarding her daughter, and how to deal with her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21772" LastEditorUserId="32672" LastEditDate="2022-02-17T16:49:51.257" LastActivityDate="2022-02-17T16:49:51.257" Title="How to treat an 18 year old girl who avoids being with family and likes being with their friend?" Tags="|teen|conflict|separation|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24533" CreationDate="2016-04-01T18:16:25.750" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds very normal for an 18 year old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is at an age where she wants to be respected as her own human being and to make her own choices such as when to hang out with her friends and when to hang out with her parents guests. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Shes just trying to distance herself from her parents and be an individual. That does not make rudeness OK, but it is kind of a right of passage. Its also why the traditional age (at least in western culture) to move out is about 18.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention a lot about how you have all talked to her but you don't say what you've talked to her about or how you have approached her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you met her on neutral ground and asked her how shes feeling and whats going on in her life? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OR have you sat her down, making this into a big discussion about the big problem, and asked her why her attitude is so crummy and how does she think her parents feel when she would rather talk to her friends than her parents guests? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-04-01T18:16:25.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24536" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12434" CreationDate="2016-04-01T18:17:47.700" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It could also be that your baby might be tounge and lip tied it is common for alot of parents not to get this sort of thing checked. My 3 month old has been drooling since birth. I my self didn't think much of it till i realized its been going on to long ao looked it up and did some research and my little one falls into almost every category system that tounge and lip ties cause. Must look for a &quot;CERTIFIED&quot; Lactation Consultant&quot; NOT just go to your local gp&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21775" LastActivityDate="2016-04-01T18:17:47.700" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24533" CreationDate="2016-04-01T18:19:54.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As the girl is now 18 which in many countries is considered adulthood, treat her as an adult, let her have her space and freedom and don't be controlling. The foundations of a situation like this were laid way before now and short of the mother and daughter electing jointly to go to couple counselling or interpersonal relationship guidance, little can be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could suggest that daughter explain how she feels in a safe non-judgemental environment and the mother do the same and that they share their feelings with openness and acceptance and endeavour to come to a common understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastActivityDate="2016-04-01T18:19:54.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24533" CreationDate="2016-04-01T18:49:05.350" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You didn't mention who is paying the bills.  Does the daughter have a job and she pays for her own cell phone or land line?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she were my daughter, I would sit her down and tell her that I have noticed that when she spends a lot of time isolated and talking to her friends, she becomes very disrespectful and has a bad attitude.  Therefore, I suspect that the time she spends on the phone may be the cause of her unacceptable behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore, because the privilege of having a phone always at her disposal is causing her to become rude, disrespectful and obviously not a happy person, mom is going to need to take it away until she is able to handle having a phone without letting it lead her into bad behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By &quot;blaming&quot; the phone availability for her bad attitude, you shift from &quot;you are a bad person&quot; to &quot;you are being corrupted by a bad thing&quot;.  I think it's important to keep the focus on behavior rather than character.  It also forces her to prove you wrong, namely, she must prove that she can have a good attitude even while being on the phone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had to do exactly this when my twelve year old son started having a bad attitude while spending a lot of time on the computer with his friends.  It has been about a year since we instituted a &quot;bad attitude = no computer&quot; policy and it has been what I would consider a 90% cure for his attitude.  He still has lapses but he is &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more civil and all it takes is a reminder and his bad attitude gets mended pronto.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is unfortunate that this has been let go so long.  An eighteen year old is almost an adult, at least in theory.  There's a big difference between restricting privilege for a twelve year old, who is completely dependent on you, and an eighteen year old who has more experience using leverage of her own and who probably knows how to push her mom's buttons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the daughter is using a land line, it's obviously a lot harder to restrict her than if she had a cell phone that you could simply stop making payments on, or restrict in other ways.  One way would be to set up a &quot;white list&quot;, which would mean you could control who is allowed to call you.  That wouldn't stop her from calling out, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to get rid of the land line altogether and rely entirely on cell phones.  A bit more expensive (unless you already have cell phones, which most people do these days).  I have never looked into it but I imagine you could also have certain numbers restricted through your carrier (white listing or black listing).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However she does it, your friend needs to understand that it is going to get a lot harder before it gets easier, and she may not be successful in altering the behavior of a person who is legally an adult.  The fact that this adult is living in her home, probably without paying rent, gives her some leverage but she needs to think carefully before trying to move anything with that lever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't ever bluff with your kids.  Don't threaten something unless you are prepared to follow through with that threat.  Eventually they &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; call that bluff and then you either have to follow through or be proved a liar.  Once they know you are only bluffing all your leverage flies out the window.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, all that having been said, not enough was said for me to guess whether it is the phone access that is the bulk of the problem (as it was with my son) or if there is a bigger problem between the girl and her family.  If they can afford it, I don't think counseling is &lt;em&gt;ever&lt;/em&gt; the wrong answer.  Any relationship, be it parent-child or husband-wife, can gain benefit from a trained professional who knows how to spot patterns of behavior and what to do about them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-04-01T18:56:23.897" LastActivityDate="2016-04-01T18:56:23.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24541" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-02T15:55:52.930" Score="5" ViewCount="198" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This relates to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/24524/what-should-i-be-aware-of-as-a-parent-of-a-very-allergic-child&quot;&gt;this earlier question&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for advice on teaching my children how to stay calm while they are having an allergic reaction, so they can properly react and remember their training on how to handle it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first idea is relaxation training before the time of symptoms. The goal is to avoid the stress and damaging the itching areas and worsening other symptoms. Relaxing methods contain discussion about symptoms, encouraging to describe feelings, self-care, self-love, meditation and trying to find out the reason for the symptoms. An idea is to connect the relaxation to something practical such as playing music and Tai Chi so the children has focus on other things, not on itching and other symptoms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are surely other methods to teach children to stay calm during allergic reactions of which they can be totally unaware of, just extremely irritated or over-active. Somehow as a parent, I find it important to make opportunities for the children to acknowledge the culprits themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How do I teach my children to stay calm when they have an allergic reaction?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20563" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T19:40:15.293" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T19:40:15.293" Title="How do I teach my children to stay calm when they have an allergic reaction?" Tags="|health|allergies|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24542" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-02T18:10:16.740" Score="9" ViewCount="1262" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our apartment has what appears to be a NEMA 6-20 socket in the living room (used for the air conditioner).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now the circuit breaker is off but in the summer we'd like to use it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't find any child proof covers or guards. Any suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/gGHKJ.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0d/NEMA_simplified_pins.svg/1280px-NEMA_simplified_pins.svg.png&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21783" LastActivityDate="2016-12-10T04:16:48.783" Title="How do I child proof a NEMA 6-20 socket?" Tags="|toddler|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11515" CreationDate="2016-04-02T20:48:03.383" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has severe asthma, the first time his pulmonologist prescribed prednisolone my son vomited it up due to the awful taste, this happened several times... We tried adding juice, even chocolate syrup and many suggestions found online, finally the pulmonologist switched and gave my son pulmicort. Well its been a few months and his asthma is bad again so of course the doctor wanted to do prednisolone again. This time I asked our pharmacists at CVS what to do to get past the awful taste, they put the name of the medication into the computer and the computer matched the medicine to specific flavorings they could add to it...Raspberry, Cherry, Watermelon, and Sour Apple. We went with Watermelon as well as refrigerated the prednisolone to help with the flavoring. Best $2.99 I have ever spent! He takes it no problem now! Loves the watermelon flavor! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21784" LastActivityDate="2016-04-02T20:48:03.383" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24544" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24545" CreationDate="2016-04-02T23:52:40.293" Score="4" ViewCount="277" Body="&lt;p&gt;I grew up doing science experiments with my Dad, in a kind of playful exploration. My wife and I are both 'sciencey' people (Software Engineer and Civil Engineer). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to create an environment where my daughter feels positively about science and to make it fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I'm stuck. As soon as I say the word 'science experiment' she turns up her nose. Maybe I can call it something else. Or start doing it myself and involve her in it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;As soon as I say the phrase 'science experiment' my six year old daughter turns up her nose - what do I do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2016-04-03T19:57:49.950" Title="As soon as I say the phrase 'science experiment' my six year old daughter turns up her nose - what do I do?" Tags="|science|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24544" CreationDate="2016-04-03T01:10:53.260" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The easiest solution is to avoid calling it a science experiment. The harder thing to do is to get a child interested in things that aren't particularly interesting to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be to tailor your teaching in large part to what interests your daughter, especially initially. Mixing science projects in with a lot of non-science projects as well means everything has the potential to be interesting. Pay careful attention to the kinds of questions she asks. Design experiments together when you can. But don't push too hard; you want to encourage a love of science, not a resentment of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am 'sciencey' as well, and did a lot of experiments with my kids from an early age on. Initially I focused on the physical and fun, stuff that could look like magic but had a rational explanation, like CO&lt;sub&gt;2&lt;/sub&gt; (from vinegar and bicarb) putting out candle flames in a bowl (with the candles cut to differing lengths so the flames would go out in a step-wise fashion) or blowing up a balloon on a bottletop, etc., to teach a concept like gasses. But we also did a lot of other non-science projects that they were interested in. Interestingly, a lot of stuff that doesn't appear to be about science has a lot of science in it (like why does Sculpey get hard when you bake it?) You can introduce the science at the end in a discussion while cleaning up, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching kids - especially in their &quot;free time&quot; - has to be rewarding for them if they are to enjoy it. No one knows your daughter like you do. Use that knowledge and her questions to explore all aspects of science together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-04-03T01:10:53.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24547" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24549" CreationDate="2016-04-03T02:59:19.987" Score="3" ViewCount="1975" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old son's dad hasn't been in his life for over 3 years now. He is getting older now and asking questions about daddy. Me and his dad have had a volatile relationship, we were both young and eventually fell apart shortly after our son was born. Since then he was in and out of his life until shortly before his third birthday. I can now see he wasn't ready for the responsabilities of being a full time dad. He would often cut all contact for months (and when he did have him he would just leave him at his parents whilst he went out). He never actually showed interest in his son. I was always the one to make the first step to get back in touch. I usually did that by contacting his family, who were a bit difficult to deal with due to religious choices, but always happy to see their grandson nethertheless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I got into a new relationship and this didn't go down well with my sons dad. It was causing alot of aggrevation to everyone including his family who were the ones looking after my son on the weekends that he was supposed to be with his dad. Often when he was meant to drop our son back he would disappear to his friends' house. Because his family had religious beleifs, I would have to stand outside for hours until they finished praying. I would often be driving home at 10pm when both me and my son would have an early start the next day. This was obviously causing grief to everyone especially my son. That's when I told his dad that I would go to court to get a contact order that he has to stick to, if he does wish to be a part of our sons life. That was the last time I ever heard from him. No phone calls on my sons birthdays, Christmas, nothing. Not even a card from him or his family. He knew my adress up to about 6 months ago where I moved to another city. He knows my phone number, e-mail address, and he's not blocked on any social networks. If he really wanted to be a part of his life, he easily could have contacted me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His dad is nog physically or mentally abusive, nor is he on drugs or alcoholic. I think he and our son could have a good relationship, should he want one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I make the first step yet again? Should I encourage my child to have a relationship with his dad even though he has shown absolutuley no interest in wanting one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21791" LastEditorUserId="14900" LastEditDate="2016-04-04T18:14:14.370" LastActivityDate="2019-06-20T13:34:08.700" Title="Should I make contact with my son's dad after 3 years?" Tags="|relationships|separation|father|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5700" CreationDate="2016-04-03T06:00:33.477" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I find it best to let them discover swear words on their own. When you start to hear it talk to your child and let them know the correct situations to swear(hurt, bad grade, ECT). I would not encourage it but definitely do not discourage it. If you do this they will tend to swear even more than they would. Swearing has never affected my education or career and I find it completely acceptable when they understand the words and the affect they have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21793" LastActivityDate="2016-04-03T06:00:33.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24549" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24547" CreationDate="2016-04-03T07:54:15.440" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;No.Do not make the first step again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a difficult question to answer. My takeaway from the context is that your child's father shows little consistency and not much in responsibility. Children need good role models and I feel the last thing your son needs is inconsistency and irresponsibility, the effects of that will cause him confusion and that will be reflected in his behaviours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If in the last three years he has not made contact, then it's his loss. He has shown by his own behaviour that he's not interested. Do don't make any move to initiate contact. Let it be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastActivityDate="2016-04-03T07:54:15.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24550" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-03T11:31:45.027" Score="1" ViewCount="18545" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 17-year-old daughter. She does not respect me, she shouts at me and she goes to parties where there are older friends and alcohol consumption, against my wishes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She just goes out every day and comes back late in the night and sometimes the following day. She does not do anything around the house and right now I am just fed up with her behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21794" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-09T17:48:31.680" LastActivityDate="2019-03-09T09:05:35.373" Title="How can I deal with a misbehaving 17-year-old girl?" Tags="|discipline|teen|safety|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24544" CreationDate="2016-04-03T18:22:02.763" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, if your science experiment can be actually &quot;helping at home&quot; or &quot;doing something fun with mom &amp;amp; dad&quot;....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter balks at the idea of an experiment, might it be that she actually resists what she perceives as &quot;a lesson&quot;? Check your own approach, sometimes we sciency folk overdo it out of enthusiasm. (Ask me how I know...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So involve her in your daily life, but encourage her to ask questions and wonder about the &quot;secrets&quot; or &quot;the magic&quot; going on., &lt;em&gt;then fill in the science if she's interested&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few examples my kids loved around kindergarten / primary school:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bake a bread&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Why is the dough rising? Where do the bubbles come from? Then get her a bit of yeast and watch it proof in warm water with a bit of food (sugar).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bake muffins&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Same principle, but with baking powder / baking soda.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;plant seedlings for the summer&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Beans will &quot;grab&quot; the pole, other plants lean towards the light, even if you turn them, and if you plant seedlings at the walls of a glass jar wrapped with dark paper, you might even get a glimpse of the root system.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sweeten your tea&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Now, where did the sugar go? I can't see it any more, but I can taste it. Or, more advanced, don't stir but note the different refraction if you dump the sugar on the bottom of a glass&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;go swimming in the ocean, salt your breakfast eggs&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Lick your arm after swimming and discuss how you can get the salt out of the sea water again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;do dishes&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Fat won't come off unless you use soap. Why? Float a few drops of oil on water, add a drop of detergent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of these were originally done for the sake of the experiment, but just &quot;happened&quot;. Keep your eyes open and be prepared to provoke and answer questions. If she's hooked, she will &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; additional experiments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-04-03T18:22:02.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24544" CreationDate="2016-04-03T18:45:25.843" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with anongoodnurse that you don't need to call things science experiments. If she isn't asking her own questions, say, &quot;Why do we do this?&quot; &quot;What will happen if...?&quot; &quot;Would it be better if..?&quot; Talk about questions where you aren't sure of the answer, and then say, &quot;Let's find out.&quot; Don't limit this to mixing chemicals in a beaker. Do this when you are brushing your teeth, when you are boiling an egg, when you play a musical instrument, and when you are walking outside. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, the usual description of the scientific method in elementary school is poor. It is not what scientists actually do, and scientific thinking is not restricted to a rigid framework like that. You don't have to make a hypothesis first and have a control, and you don't need to publish your results afterwards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask questions.&lt;/strong&gt; State what you aren't sure about.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find something to measure or observe.&lt;/strong&gt; Measure time with a clock. Take a picture. Observe the color, texture, or taste of something you cook. Ask how you feel.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try it.&lt;/strong&gt; Collect data that could change your mind or teach you something.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What did we learn?&lt;/strong&gt; Ask how sure you are of any conclusions, and how general they are. This will naturally lead to more questions, which is great.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21786" LastEditorUserId="21786" LastEditDate="2016-04-03T19:57:49.950" LastActivityDate="2016-04-03T19:57:49.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24550" CreationDate="2016-04-03T23:26:28.960" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say make sure that she knows everything about contraception. That she takes condoms with her - I'd insist on that; if the subject is embarrassing her that's good to know but still insist. On the other hand explain to her that a male wanting sex without having contraception with him himself is useless and must be avoided. Make it clear to her that a baby means the end of party life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for consuming alcohol, having something to eat before she leaves reduces the effect. Fatty foods are best. Encourage her to go for good drinks, to drink to enjoy it, not to drink to get drunk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pocket money in exchange for house work may also help. If she doesn't want to do house work, don't do it for her. Once she has no clean clothes she may learn how to use the washing machine quite quickly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS. Someone remarked this was damage control, and not solving the problem. The problem will solve itself when she grows up. Damage control up to that point in time isn't bad at all. But it's not just damage control. At age 17, a lot of the kid's behaviour is rebellion against the parent(s). Trying to &quot;solve&quot; the problem will just lead to more rebellion. But what's the point getting drunk at 17 when your parents don't get upset about it? That's half the fun gone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastEditorUserId="11151" LastEditDate="2016-04-04T19:43:33.537" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T19:43:33.537" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24555" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24557" CreationDate="2016-04-04T02:53:04.260" Score="2" ViewCount="4199" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our little one is 8 and a half months old, has started on solids at least twice a day, and is mostly breastfed. We are also slowing converting her to formula feeds to help my wife transition back to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recently survived putting her in her own room, and she's subsequently gone from waking us up in the night, where my wife would offer milk, she would drink, then fall back asleep, to trying to let her settle herself when she wakes for a few minutes. We're a bit worried that she might actually be waking hungry, but is too sleepy to get too worked up about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, last night she went to sleep just before 8, her last feed being about 70ml of formula, followed by breastfeeding at about 7. She woke for a feed around 10:30, but then slept through (more or less, woke a few times, but settled) until 7:30am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's not 'starving' in the morning when she wakes. She is a smaller baby, but her parents are both relatively small people, and at her last weigh (8 months), she was on the lower end of the scale, but had moved up since the previous weigh. Health nurse was not at all concerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are we missing a feed? Should we go in and offer a feed in the small hours of the morning?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11564" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T02:12:35.797" Title="Should I wake my 8.5 month old for feeding at night?" Tags="|sleep|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24556" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-04T05:25:59.673" Score="3" ViewCount="1224" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is in love with a girl of a different ethnicity and her mom is completely against it. &#xA;My son said that her mother has tried to kill her once, that CPS has been involved and that the girl has been suicidal in the past. Yet the girl still resides with her mother.&#xA;I know there are two sides to every story so I'm not sure what to believe and what not, so I don't know what to do to help.&#xA;The situation is really stressful for my son and it gets me worried about him. He has a bright future ahead of him and I am affraid he's going to get hurt or into trouble somehow while trying to help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to help him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21798" LastEditorUserId="14900" LastEditDate="2016-04-04T14:28:22.223" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T14:28:22.223" Title="Sons girlfriends' parents against their relationship" Tags="|teen|relationships|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24557" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24555" CreationDate="2016-04-04T10:43:00.080" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Waking a 8 moths old baby for feeding is definitely not necessary. At this age a healthy baby is physically capable of sleeping through the night without eating. She'll fill her belly in the morning, don't worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being hungry most likely is not the reason for waking at night. Nightwakings are common even for older children, but they're mostly connected to anxieties, the need for parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We allowed our daughter some water at night (dry air), but we didn't feed her. Since we were consistent with it from the beginning, she didn't ever request food at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your &quot;nigttime strategy&quot; is entirely up to you. If you've introduced night-feeding habits which you don't like it may take some work to get rid of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A common approach is to give the baby a few minutes to try to soothe. For how long depends on baby's age, cry type, cry volume and... Parents' mental strength. Afterwards you go in and try to soothe your baby with words, then pick her up and hug until she calms down. It's considered good to put the baby back to bed when she is still awake, so that she doesn't get used to falling asleep on your arms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T10:43:00.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24556" CreationDate="2016-04-04T12:32:02.503" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been circling around this issue, trying to break it down for a while now and there are a few issues I keep hitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Putting a young girl's safety in danger is unacceptable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her mother is the actual source of the danger.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If it wasn't your son, there's a good chance it'd be another boy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You're not confident that you have the facts of the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Before I go any further, it's best that I divulge that I'm a confrontational person who believes in trying to address problems directly.  You might want to take a softer approach than me...)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Firstly, you shouldn't act without knowing the facts.  Teenagers are notoriously prone to inventing drama, so tread warily.  Speak to the girl and see if she corroborates your son's story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she doesn't, then life becomes much simpler.  If she does, then it's time to tread carefully.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents who harm their children are usually doing so because they love them.  They may express it in negative ways but often they're doing it because they believe that it's the best way to protect them from a real, or perceived threat.  This is not to belittle or excuse the terrible things which are sometimes done, of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would take push  angle when initially speaking to the daughter.  &quot;What is your mother trying to protect you from?  Is there a way that you can have what you want without incurring whatever risks your mother fears?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mother may be utterly opposed to her daughter's boyfriend but there may be a way to mitigate her worries, perhaps by making her more central to the discussion?  Perhaps if she were to meet your son, she'd be able to see past his ethnicity?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the thing -I- would do which is possibly a Bad Idea.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would speak to the mother directly.  First off, to try and put her mind at rest (if that were possible) but also to let her know that someone is paying attention.  If she's considering extreme action, knowing that there are people watching might make her think twice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it might also make her defensive and make things worse... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you believe that there is a real threat, speak to the Child Protection Service (or local equivalent).  Definitely follow their advice, rather than mine!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if the girl is 17 years old as well, she will soon be an adult and able to leave home to start a new life.  I know that a year is a long time in the life of a love-struck teenager but would it be possible to wait, to keep the relationship on a low-key footing until she's 18, at which point she can do what she likes?  (As I write this, it feels like futile advice but it's technically possible.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last point, and it's one that never sits well with a teenager, is that everyone is in love with someone at age 18 but not many of these relationships last for very long.  Making profound, life changing decisions on the basis of a relationship that may only last a few years is not always a good idea.  I know that's a bit brutal but it doesn't mean that it's not true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I wish you all the best.  &quot;The course of true love never did run smooth&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T12:32:02.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24550" CreationDate="2016-04-04T13:36:07.517" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;What does your SO think about the behaviour? You have a better chance to change your daughter's behaviour if you stand united and both try to change her.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I think you should try talking to your daughter about her behaviour and ask her to change and if she doesn't you need to take some actions like don't give her money, won’t buy soda for her and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21020" LastEditorUserId="11249" LastEditDate="2016-04-07T19:20:24.050" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T19:20:24.050" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24518" CreationDate="2016-04-04T15:08:03.187" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You won't know for sure until it happens, unfortunately.  It's probably worth pumping a bit more to start with.  However, most likely the total amount won't change very much.  The baby is still eating the same amount of milk, right?  The presence of cereal doesn't change that (until it becomes enough to offset the milk needs, anyway).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Normally, babies on cereal start with a very liquid cereal mixture - 1/4 or so the amount of cereal per milk as normal.  For the first bit, they may not really eat all that much or may spit it up, so it's not uncommon that some wastage occurs; however, the daycare should know that and not make too much to start with, only an ounce or two at a time at most (probably less).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once it's been a few weeks and the baby tolerates the cereal well, typically the cereal will help her feel full for a longer time, and thus the baby will not need to eat quite so much milk separate from the cereal; my kids needed less milk overall at this point, but we also added vegetables nearly right away (in fact on the second, we started vegetable before cereal, as our pediatrician suggested).  You'll also start adding more cereal per milk, so the total amount of milk used in cereal may not add too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, though, it's hard to say, because other factors will matter more - your baby's growth cycle and what happens to her tummy/intestines as a result of eating solids for the first time.  She may be more hungry, or less.  That will likely matter more than the amount added to the cereal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T15:08:03.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24562" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-04T17:06:00.470" Score="2" ViewCount="227" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am concerned with showing my son his ACT results that he will try even less in school.  I tried to get him a reading tutor last summer which he all but dismissed, did not do any of the homework and went the number of times I said he had to go with no effort.  I know his reading skills are low because I did not make him read at a young age.  He does not like read to all, it is reflected in his score.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like I have failed my child on so many levels and this just reinforced it.  What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21800" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-04-05T08:16:03.957" LastActivityDate="2016-04-05T08:16:03.957" Title="How should I show my son his poor school results?" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24542" CreationDate="2016-04-04T17:07:33.407" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not a perfect solution, but you should be able to use a pair of snips to modify an existing 5-20 cover to fit in a 6-20. Simply cut off or cut down the blade so the cover doesn't actually slide into the horizontal slot of the receptacle. If you wanted to keep the blade, you could always cut it, rotate and then superglue or epoxy in place so that it fits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21799" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T17:07:33.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24550" CreationDate="2016-04-04T19:12:31.420" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First I would like to say I'm very sorry that you are dealing with this.  I delt with this issue a lot with my boys at the same age.  I would love to have some sort of fix-it-all answer for you, but I don't.  However, I do have some advice as to what NOT to do which I learned through my own experiences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Stop beating YOURSELF up...we all do it. Parental guilt, making it our fault, wearing our selves out mentally and emotionally with &quot;I should have...&quot; or &quot;I shouldn't have...&quot; It's just a waste of time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Do NOT engage in yelling, fighting, empty threats or unrealistic negotiations.  You are an adult. Behave like one. Do not allow your teen age child to pull you down to that level. If you find yourself getting there, walk away. Also, never allow anyone, especially your own child, to yell at you. When she starts yelling, cursing or throwing a fit. Stop. Turn around. WALK AWAY. When she's finished, she can have your attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Stop enabling her.  She is only 17 years old...what are her resources? You.  One of the best things I ever did was stop funding my teens poor choices and behavior. Were they mad...OH YA!! They were furious and it was all my fault (In their minds any way) It was also very hard to do.  We have this ingrained parental reflex to jump when our children say jump.  This is necessary when they are infants but we tend to forget that as they grow so must the way and the what of what we provide for them.  We forget to stop putting their shoes on for them, fixing their plates, making their beds....the list is endless. We keep saying we want them to be independent, capable adults but don't give them the necessary opportunities to learn what they need to learn to do that. What are some ways to stop enabling? Stop financing her, no cash.  Stop making it so easy for her to just come and go as she pleases. Stop providing transportation so easily. If your paying any of her bills...STOP. Don't threaten, just stop. She's 17. If she wants to waste time and money, let her start doing it with her own time and money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) This is the big one...LET GO. Yes, she is only 17, but she is right on that edge where you can no longer make and control her choices (however you can stop funding it and making it easy).  As much as Answer #2 sounds like &quot;damage control&quot;...at least it will give you SOME control. I just recently had the terrifying experience of watching my 18 year old son take a paternity test......I can not put into words how stressful this was. Thankfully I made sure to drill safe sex into my kids and he swore he was safe...he is not the father btw. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The simple fact is there is a point in parenting where all your doing is praying a lot.  We have created a society where we keep trying to make our children's lives easier by over providing, over stimulating and over extending our selves in the name of love for our children. Are they our children? Yes...but they are also human beings and human beings learn by trial and error. You can't do it for her. We all have this fantasy that our children should learn from our mistakes, so did our parents. But last I checked we are all still out there making the same basic mistakes. How does that song go...&quot;Jesus take the wheel&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, this is just what I've learned from my own experience. My youngest is now 16 and the things her brothers taught me have made things so much easier when dealing with her.  My boys have survived and are still making mistakes, but I have learned how to deal with them so I don't go crazy and I'm a better parent for it. I wish you the best of luck and remember to breathe!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T19:12:31.420" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24562" CreationDate="2016-04-04T20:02:55.133" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as general advice on helping your kid to get into reading, I think &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/8227/16557&quot;&gt;this question/answer&lt;/a&gt; does a great job of giving pointers.  But your question goes to a different topic - how to deal with your perceived failure in teaching your child to read.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I do not want you to think that I believe you have failed your child.  In spite of your own words to that effect, the rest of us in this forum do not know enough to know whether this is fact or perception, but really, we do not need to know.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;All of us have areas in which we feel, rightly or not, that we have failed.  There are areas where I feel I have failed my children.  I am a person of faith, and yet I have failed to teach my children my faith as I should have.  My wife and I have also failed to model a husband-wife relationship that is full of grace, patience and kindness.  Still my kids have managed to grow, so far, into delightful, responsible teen agers (and one pre-teen).&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I guess my advice to you is to keep trying, persevere.  You may never teach your child to love reading, but you will only really have failed, if you give up.  I suspect surrender is not an option for you, and that is an excellent thing.  There is one area which I consider the biggest area of failure in my life (too personal to share here).  I do not know if I will ever have total victory in it, but I have determined that if I should not succeed, I will certainly die trying.  There is contentment in that, as well as encouragement to keep at it.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I would also encourage you to be open with your son.  Take him out for a soda and show him his scores.  Speak to him about your own sense that you have failed him and how much you wish you could teach him to love reading.  Encourage him to persevere and tell him that you also will try to persevere with him.  Speak to him as if the two of you are in this together, because you are.  But also express your belief in him and his ability.  Tell him and make him believe that you know he is capable - not as an indictment, but as showing confidence in who he is.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;At the same time, I am not advocating blind belief.  Not doing homework or not putting effort into something he needs to do is simply not acceptable.  But these test results are not the time to deal with that.  The time is the next time he comes home from school - know what homework he was assigned (find out any way you can - asking him or emailing his teachers), and sit on him until you know he has done it and done a good job on it.  Get him to bring home all his books and notebooks and anything else school related, and go through it with him every day until he gets in a pattern of coming home and doing his homework. Sit with him and look through them and ask him to tell you about what happens and what he is learning in each class.  Be as positive as you possibly can, but do not take &quot;no&quot; for an answer.  Gentle and encouraging, but firm as a rock.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;As for reading itself, one small suggestion along the lines of what is on that answer - pick an easy, fun, read that gets you hooked from page 1, something like Andrew Clementz &quot;Things Not Seen&quot;, and read it with him - take turns at reading outloud.  You are the boss, so don't let him think this is an optional activity.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Like Winston Churchill said (and got a 10 min standing ovation for saying it) &quot;NEVER SURRENDER.&quot;  And I will be praying for you and your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T20:02:55.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24566" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24542" CreationDate="2016-04-04T21:17:59.880" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could buy a blank wall plate (less than a dollar), unscrew the 6-20 one, and screw the blank one over the outlet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wouldn't fit perfectly but if you never plan on using that outlet it would keep it safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yMJu8.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yMJu8.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;wall plate&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2715" LastActivityDate="2016-04-04T21:17:59.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24567" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-04T21:34:47.150" Score="0" ViewCount="563" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old son breaks everything can can put his hands on, talks back to me, and bothers his sister and brother all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can't stay focused in school and will be left behind this year, but I'm waiting for school evaluation so he could get help academically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He lies about everything. It's been really hard and frustrating to say the least. Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21802" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-04-05T03:30:40.230" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T17:31:46.427" Title="My 6 years old boy behavior is terrible at school and home" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24568" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-05T00:24:33.363" Score="3" ViewCount="159" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am wondering what Parent Child Interaction Therapy (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pcit.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;pcit.org&lt;/a&gt;) exactly is and if someone is here who has some experience with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a 3-year-old son and I am considering to take on a therapy to just get a sense for the quality of my parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any insights would be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21805" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-30T12:27:21.337" LastActivityDate="2019-05-30T12:28:46.707" Title="What is Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) and is it helpful?" Tags="|parents|relationships|social-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24569" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24567" CreationDate="2016-04-05T07:16:38.880" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As @agoodnurse says, there's not enough information. Starting with school, most six year old's have can't focus on things for long, unless he is seriously below national targets don't let it bother you and as to being held back a year, the positive side of it is he'll be well in advance of the kids who will join his class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lying, that's about discovering boundaries, the average adult lies many times a day, here you have to help him understand the cause and effect of lying - every kid does it and it's what they learn from other kids, adults and parents that helps them understand what lying is, how it works and the implications of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking back to you; Is it just you or to everyone and how is it done? Again this is an important thing for a child to learn, at his age he's being reactive to the environments he encounters, is it that he's copying another kid at school or elsewhere or is it that he's coping something he encounters in his home environment. Listen carefully to his language as he talks back, is it something you recognise. Does it sound like the way his brother and sister talk to him, does it sound like the way someone (an adult) talks to you. Generally at this age kids are starting to copy interactions that they see around them. It our job as a parent to role model how we would like them to interact. If you talk to a child with disrespect, don't be surprised if they talk back to you in the same way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bothering his brother and sister, that's what six year olds do, he wants to interact with his siblings, play with them learn from them have fun with them - it's normal and natural.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you have basically described is normal feelings of most parents, it's basically called concern and it's not about discipline. Nearly all parents here who read what you have written will have felt those feeling frequently. As you've tagged it discipline, I feel that you looking for an answer about how to &quot;punish out&quot; these behaviours. The best form of discipline is to set a good role model and good standards, positive behaviours for your son to copy and from that he'll gain an understanding of right and wrong ways to behave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastActivityDate="2016-04-05T07:16:38.880" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6652" CreationDate="2016-04-05T08:26:32.610" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answers above are all misleading. Green bananas are highly beneficial in alleviating constipation. Why? Because green bananas are high in resistant starch. Resistant starch feeds the gut bacteria in your large intestine and promotes regular bowel movement. Once bananas turn yellow the resistant starch is turned into regular starch and sugars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21808" LastActivityDate="2016-04-05T08:26:32.610" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24568" CreationDate="2016-04-05T09:28:45.747" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's a parenting programme aimed at teaching parents a way to interact with their children by receiving immediate feedback on how they are interacting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A key aspect of being a parent is to set the behaviours of our children by the way we interact with them. Enforcing good behaviour by being a positive role model. One way is for a parent to display good behaviours, e.g. tidying up after themselves or how we talk to immediate members of the family (as an example, if you back-talk or are disparaging to your partner, your child will start to mimic it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This particular type of parenting program focuses on your immediate interactions with your child and provides feedback from an observer. As an example, say you're sitting at a table playing playdoh with your kid. He attempts to eat the playdoh, you smack his hand away from his mouth and call him an idiot for trying to eat it. You may do this subconsciously, not noticing what you are doing, mostly from the concern that he will harm himself. The observer will point out a different way of performing that interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Done well it's a good part of the mix of skills that are needed to be a decent parent, but you must realise it's not the be all and end all of learning how to be a good parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-30T12:28:46.707" LastActivityDate="2019-05-30T12:28:46.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24572" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-05T13:57:33.010" Score="6" ViewCount="650" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been with my other half for nearly 4 years and have been known to his now 8-year-old daughterfor a little longer than that. She has been aware of our relationship for around 3.5 years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we first moved in together, her behaviour was terrible (refusal to go to bed, to sleep in own bed, shouting and screaming at him all the time, very disrespectful, no manners and generally horrible to be around). He and her mother had been separated for around 2 years at that point, and her mother had been in another relationship with somebody the daughter gets on very well with for around 18 months. I read every book going and guided my other half through a lot of behavioural changes, to the point where her behaviour improved a lot. Things weren't perfect - not by any stretch - but generally I could cope with her and sometimes even enjoyed spending time with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, her being nice is more of a brucy bonus than a regular thing and she's never loving towards her dad, which is hard to see, especially as he's such a lovely guy. The problem is, he doesn't know how to handle her and no amount of coaching or nagging or support from me has ever changed this. I've literally tried everything. I believe she's missing boundaries and / or consistency where he is concerned. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently she's been refusing to have baths, never washes her hands and wants to be as dirty and scruffy as she can. She's being a pain at bedtime again and is generally foul faced and rude when she's at our house - it's not enjoyable at all. I am 90% sure this isn't the case when she's at her mum's, but we don't have a good relationship with her and so there isn't any communication about behaviour between my other half and the ex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a toddler of our own and another on the way, so I'm keen to get our household to be a harmonious one for all involved. I want my step daughter to enjoy her time with us and I want to enjoy spending time with her - I just dread her coming over and am constantly waiting for the fight to begin. I try to keep out of it when an argument starts, but I just can't help but jump in sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I provide my other half with the tools to handle her and how do I get my relationship with her to be a more positive one? Any suggestions or help will be gratefully received! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21809" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-13T12:33:00.973" LastActivityDate="2019-04-14T13:12:28.020" Title="How to improve the relationship between my misbehaving 8-year-old stepchild and me?" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|step-parents|co-parenting|blended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24573" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24572" CreationDate="2016-04-05T15:43:13.397" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...we don't have a good relationship with her and so there isn't any communication about behaviour between my other half and the ex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is common enough, but not really in the best interests of the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a possibility that she's picking up a bad attitude about her dad from her mother? If she is, then the choice is to either stick it out and try to improve things from your end (like you're doing now) or the two of them need to start talking - maybe even have a few sessions of therapy of some kind if necessary - to stop the harm being done to the relationship your step-daughter has with her dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if she's not picking up attitude from the mom, a discussion about the kind of boundaries that are being set at her mom's house and how they are enforced helps with consistency in her life; what works at home may work for you. It might help if she realizes that because the two are communicating, she can't &lt;em&gt;expect&lt;/em&gt; to behave one way in one place and completely differently at another without some consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since her dad won't act on the guidance you've given him, maybe a third party - an expert - can be useful. This could mean books or, again, counseling. These services are much more common and available today than previously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Setting boundaries can be very difficult for people who aren't used to them, either because they had no need to before, or it hasn't ever been modeled for them, but they are essential for healthy relationships throughout life. If your other half could read about boundaries, their importance, and how to set healthy ones, he might feel more confident in setting some with his daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I presume you're already doing things when she visits that are interesting for her, so that she doesn't just see these visits as an interruption to her usually enjoyable routine. This doesn't mean bending over backwards or spending loads of money, but it does mean at time moving out of one's comfort zone to please her, even if she isn't immediately grateful. Otherwise she may feel if she raises enough of a fuss, she won't have to have these visits. Again, the parents working together on this - the mom reinforcing that no amount of bad behavior will get her out of the visits - helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two final points. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It helps to pick your battles; handwashing is really rarely &lt;em&gt;necessary&lt;/em&gt; except after going to the bathroom or before handling other people's food, etc. If she won't wash her hands to help you to make her favorite cookies, then let her know you won't make them alone. That's a reasonable consequence. Picking battles and respecting the feelings and decisions of a child when the consequences aren't grave kind of go hand in hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't change other people. It sounds like you've really tried to help your partner. If he really doesn't want to change, nothing you can say or do will make that happen. But you can set healthy boundaries for your relationship and yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-04-05T15:43:13.397" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24574" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-05T23:20:01.113" Score="0" ViewCount="291" Body="&lt;p&gt;I tutor where we have kids from pre-k to 4th grade. I teach a girl after I'm done with my class. I get to sit with her for 30 minutes to 1 hour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For almost two months I've been teaching her numbers. She has memorized the numbers from 0 to 10, but if I hold up a number she won't say it. I decided to go one by one where she could point 0 to 3 for me but after that she just cant differentiate between 4 and 5. For the past two months we have been doing this and still today she cant tell me which is 5 and which is 4. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hold up a 4 and tell her, &quot;This is 4.&quot; I try to make her memorize the shape of four and even make her write it, and did the same thing with 5. After a 5 min break, I hold up 5 and ask her what number it is and she'll say 4!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do anymore!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21811" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-04-07T02:04:01.783" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T14:19:34.103" Title="Pre-k female student cant remember her numbers!" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24576" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24577" CreationDate="2016-04-06T05:06:47.130" Score="3" ViewCount="190" Body="&lt;p&gt;The two are practically inseparable and we have what seems like an unsolvable dilemma: we want to allow the 7yr old to watch, for example, Star Wars but feel it's not adequate for a 5yr old. How should we proceed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1044" LastActivityDate="2016-04-28T16:01:00.613" Title="Watching movies 7yr old and 5yr old" Tags="|siblings|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24576" CreationDate="2016-04-06T06:58:44.230" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Arrange something like a playdate for your 5yo or one of you the 5yo somewhere so that the 7yo can watch the film. Do something like explain it way as separate treats. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also gently explain rating systems and put in terms they understand like little children, big children, teens and grownups and its there so you don't see something scary/yucky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T06:58:44.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24576" CreationDate="2016-04-06T09:40:30.590" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;With my kids, most times I went down the route Ourjamie mentioned - it's very effective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I have two separated by 2 years, and a third 4 years younger, sometimes my youngest did feel a bit excluded by this so at that sort of age we sometimes would all sit down to watch the film, including the youngest, but provide her with some toys and colouring books, and the opportunity to cuddle in and fall asleep if she got to bored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At that age, their attention span is not great anyway, so while they may love the intro with all the explosions and lasers, they are likely to get bored after that once the plot starts to become evident, and getting them to draw a picture can be a wonderful distraction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, I don't think there is much in there that would be negative for a 5 year old - it is a franchise with very little death (if we exclude whole planets being destroyed, I guess...) and some nice obvious heroes and villains that will be understandable even to a 5 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T09:40:30.590" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24580" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-06T13:13:54.483" Score="10" ViewCount="5036" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use to run during my free time, preparing for some races, and my 3-year-old daughter often asks me if she could go with me. She says that she'd like to run, too, and participate in contests (she saw me some times doing so), even if she doesn't really realise what is it for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I'm wondering how I could initiate her at running, knowing that it's quite not playful and that she could easily give up? My wish is to show her the best part of this sport, not necessarily to transform her into a champion, but at least to make her participate at a kids race and first of all give her a lot of fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17458" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-12T21:13:57.977" LastActivityDate="2018-11-12T21:13:57.977" Title="How to get a 3-year-old started with running training and contests so that it's a fun experience?" Tags="|pre-schooler|activities|sports|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24580" CreationDate="2016-04-06T13:49:29.370" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started running with my dad and he did usually do some warm up with me and then run around the block with me. When we were back again I got a glass of water and a sandwich, while he went out again running his real training. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think just spending time with her, and telling her that you enjoy running with her is a good start at her age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21020" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T13:49:29.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24580" CreationDate="2016-04-06T14:37:21.170" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Turn it into a play run, by doing things like side skips, run to a tree. stop and do hops. You get a good bit of interval training, she gets a bit of fun play (in her mind). Just be aware that if you're going to do this, you'll have to do it to her agenda and make it her time to join you training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried when my daughter was 4 1/2. It was a bit frustrating at first as kids have short attention spans, tire easily and are easily distracted. Start by scheduling a block of time in which to do this, start gently, build it up over time and try to instigate it as a habit. This is particularly good as she'll definitely get one-on-one time with you. If you treat it as an active game, then she may really want to participate, but you won't know the best approach until you try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-04-06T16:55:16.720" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T16:55:16.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24580" CreationDate="2016-04-06T16:52:18.860" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I run with my four year old, and have for some time (though not since he was three).  We treat it fairly seriously.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has three options for using running time with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Constant run - usually at about a 12 minute mile pace for up to a mile or mile and a half&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Constant jog - usually at about a 18 minute mile pace for up to two miles&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&quot;Races&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Races is most commonly his choice.  These are basically short distance sprints to particular mileposts - such as a car, or the stop sign/end of street - where he sprints with an appropriate head start and then I run full sprint speed after him.  We do a few in a row usually (say a block or two, so maybe 1/8 mile to 1/4 mile), then walk some, then do some more.  We can usually keep that up for between one and two miles.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I time the head start so that he can win about half of them, and adjust it on days where he's doing well - telling him so (that he's doing well so I'm adjusting it down).  That can become a point of pride for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that it's warmer, we can do this along with a park visit.  One mile or so of running, then go to the park, where I can run on the track while he plays (within sight and hearing) to get a better workout.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My three year old we don't do this with, because he's much slower; partly from physical nature (he's shorter and stockier legs) and partly undoubtedly from age.  We do races sometimes, though, just not while I'm trying to exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally - I would recommend finding children's races around you.  This weekend for example, I'm doing a 5k that has a Junior Dash alongside; after the 5k is over, kids 2-5 can do a 200m-400m race depending on age, with parents or solo.  It's a great way to get your child(ren) into running!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T16:52:18.860" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24584" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24574" CreationDate="2016-04-06T18:46:46.630" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it possible that she doesn't want to be sitting down for 30-60 minutes going over numbers, and in a form of silent protest she is pretending she doesn't know something when she actually does?  My daughter used to do that with teachers and tutors who didn't engage her interest in the subject matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try turning it into more of a game than a lesson.  A couple of games that her tutor (I'll call her Susan) used to do with her when she was pre-K leaps to mind.  Every now and then Susan would bring out some alphabet crackers and say &quot;I'm going to draw a letter and then open the box of crackers.  Whichever of us finds that letter first gets to eat it&quot;.  She also had a bowl full of little letter beads, which my daughter loved searching through to find the beads that matched.  Susan would pick out a bead randomly and then my daughter would find one that looked the same and whenever she found one that matched, her stuffed bunny would get to go up one step on the staircase.  When Bun-bun got to the top, they'd all cheer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could get a ten sided dice from any gaming store, and then a container full of numbers.  They might be as simple as numbers written on pieces of paper.  Then get a board game that involves moving from place to place, maybe with a dice roll, and when each of you rolls a dice you have to find a matching number in a container.  If you get it right, you advance on the board that number of spaces.  If you get it wrong, you go back one space (just so the consequences of getting it wrong aren't too discouraging).  Be sure to get it wrong yourself a few times so she doesn't get frustrated and give up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's certainly possible that she has learning disabilities or some other reason for being unable to distinguish the numbers, but even if she does, it doesn't hurt to make learning fun.  At that age kids don't have much of an attention span for things that don't engage their sense of &quot;fun&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T18:46:46.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24574" CreationDate="2016-04-06T19:13:03.417" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what sort of options you have in terms of how you tutor, but one thing that worked very well with my children (who both are good with numbers) was to go for a walk up a residential street.  Each house you pass, ask what the house number is.  It's something of a game that involves several things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finding the number on the house (it's often hard, at least where I live)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reading the number&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Recognizing the patterns in the numbers (+2 or +4 or sometimes different!)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you can't go outside with her, you could perhaps open up a computer to Google Streetview and go for a 'tour' of a random neighborhood somewhere interesting - start with her own neighborhood, then pick other cities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternately, you could open up Redfin or Zillow or similar (house-shopping websites) and do the same sort of thing.  Look for houses for sale near her area or in a city that's interesting to her.  Let her pick which ones to look at off the map.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if a computer isn't available to work with her, you could even print out pictures/listings from either of the above - twenty or thirty is probably enough at least to start with.  If you're working with a school, get their permission to print it on their printers/paper of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, include more than just the numbers - talk about the details of the house, what kind of exterior (siding/brick/stone/stucco/etc.), how many windows, what color - lots of fun things to talk about just looking at houses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T19:13:03.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8420" CreationDate="2016-04-06T20:24:57.117" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old son was diagnosed with Astigmatism along with Myopia. He has been prescribed -2 on both eyes and he started wearing eyeglass easily. Doctor advised to wear glasses all the time. We never thought he would have eye problems, because he never showed any symptoms. He even watched ipad/mobile phone excessively till he was 4 yrs old and we reduced the screen time for him later. Now after wearing glasses also, we are not sure whether he can see clearly and he is also not telling us. Doctor says Myopia will get worser over the age, but can't tell how his Astigmatism will turn out to be. Just hoping it will be all good till he reaches adulthood. Then he can have surgery/Laser treatments. I wish the pediatricians recommend eye exams for all children 2 and above. Definitely if our son had an eye exam earlier, he would not have had to wear glasses with -2 power. But we are thinking better late than never. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21817" LastActivityDate="2016-04-06T20:24:57.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="207" CreationDate="2016-04-07T03:07:25.020" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What has helped me a bit is researching what personality type my toddler is. He fits more in a &quot;social&quot; type. It was recommended that he not spend so much time alone (TV, tablet time) and more one on one and lots of fun. When I eliminated TV and Incorporated fun through the day (exhausting for mama), he reacted differently during night hours. I could tell a difference. So, wanted to add that bit here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21818" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T03:07:25.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24580" CreationDate="2016-04-07T11:01:45.940" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're in the UK, there's this - &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parkrun.org.uk/events/juniorevents/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parkrun.org.uk/events/juniorevents/&lt;/a&gt; weekly 2k runs for 4-14 year olds. Grown-ups can accompany up to the last little stretch. Mine (4 and 7) have been to one with their grandparents, and I plan to take them to another more locally soon. There were a range of children of all ages and abilities, and some of the older kids were cheering on the younger ones by name as they were finishing (even if they'd just met that day).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're not in the UK, there may be something else similar near you (Parkrun in particular has this page: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parkrun.com/countries/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parkrun.com/countries/&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(just noticed that the question asks about a 3-year-old, but there may be similar for that age group... besides, 3-year-olds aren't 3 forever)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1182" LastEditorUserId="1182" LastEditDate="2016-04-07T13:12:23.763" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T13:12:23.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24590" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24634" CreationDate="2016-04-07T13:12:18.713" Score="2" ViewCount="1215" Body="&lt;p&gt;Doing some research on strategies for raising polyglot children, I stepped on &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.academia.edu/6392378/Raffaele_Serafini_HOW_TO_RAISE_POLYGLOT_CHILDREN&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this paper&lt;/a&gt; (not peer-reviewed) on academia.edu. Also available &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bastaitalia.org/how-to-raise-polyglot-children-with-no-effort/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It suggests that through television it is possible to teach children a language not spoken at home or in the every-day environment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;After just one year of age, “E”, began to communicate with her father in Venetian and in Armenian language with his mother. The evening after supper, every single day, “E” has to see a cartoon or a movie for kids in FRENCH language for about an hour. This block of french language cartoons consisted of about 2/3 weeks alternated by another block of 2/3 weeks of cartoons or movies in RUSSIAN language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no experience in raising polyglot children but it seems to me that they can get to understand a new language only in an interactive way (mostly by speaking it). This that cannot be done with television. So I am a bit skeptic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do anyone ever heard of similar approaches? Do you think that they're reliable?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21820" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-21T22:59:52.200" LastActivityDate="2018-07-21T22:59:52.200" Title="Raising polyglot children through television - a reliable method?" Tags="|teaching|bilingual|television|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24574" CreationDate="2016-04-07T14:19:34.103" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My suggestion to you is: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Let her count the puppies.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my country, pre-K is 2-3 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are you using flash-cards that have pictures of the quantities on them?&#xA;For example: a flash card that has the number 4 with 4 puppies on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I encourage you to let her count the puppies. Use a different object on each card, let her temporarily associate the number 4 with &quot;4 puppies&quot;, and 5 with &quot;5 flowers&quot;. Encourage her to count the objects instead of guessing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early on, children will associate the strange symbols we use for letters and numerals with practical items, hieroglyphs if you will. Most children will begin to learn by &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;saying&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; the alphabet, or counting (saying the numbers they know). Counting to 10 or saying the Alphabet begins for children much like singing a song or rehearsing a poem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, children will use their &quot;number song&quot; to count objects. Later still, they will associate the obscure symbols we use for numeral indication with quantities. This is the goal you are trying to achieve. I would take a step back and allow her to count items on the card, and she will begin to associate the 4 puppies she counted with the symbol &quot;4&quot; she has no prior experience with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the same way children learn their letters, which is not the same as learning to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children learn different things at different rates. Her brain might not be ready to associate these abstract symbols with words (the verbal number). I am not saying it cannot be taught with repetition, but her age may be an obstacle at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similar phenomena exists when attempting to teach things like the concept of pointers in computer programming. Without building blocks it is difficult (but not impossible) to get these new concepts learned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14007" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T14:19:34.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24592" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-07T17:05:13.843" Score="-3" ViewCount="555" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son speaks 8 languages and is learning 5 more. He is not even yet able to interact socially with strangers and he switches languages whenever he feels uncomfortable, which is often. He also inappropriately touches his female classmates and sometimes starts laughing for seemingly no reason. He's still not learned to go to the bathroom at night, he wets his bed instead and prefers to eat with his hands... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't yet taken him to doctors because it's a scary thought that if he's diagnosed with autism, how will it affect everything? His future? Our life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21822" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-04-09T13:08:31.887" LastActivityDate="2016-05-01T03:31:21.153" Title="Is my child autistic?" Tags="|language|autism|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24592" CreationDate="2016-04-07T17:44:54.540" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be scary to think about something like this, but having an autistic child isn't the end of the world. There is a large supportive community of parents to help you. Only a qualified medical professional can tell you whether your son is autistic. It is better to seek a professional opinion so you have a better idea of what you might be dealing with. Hearing what you described, I personally don't think it is autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds like your son should learns to communicate in a language others can understand him in. My siblings and I were raised bilingual, but we always talked to people in a language they would understand. We only mixed languages if people were bilingual in the same languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son might also benefit from interacting with other polygots since he is really interested in languages now. But it is hard to tell what he will be interested in later. When I was his age, I loved dinosaurs and spent a lot of my time learning about all of the different kinds. As I got older, my interest shifted to other things too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21162" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T17:44:54.540" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24567" CreationDate="2016-04-07T20:02:21.420" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to start by saying that I'm sorry you are having such a rough time with your son. It's my understanding, from the information that up provided, that he is the youngest?  Being the youngest can be hard.  It seems they either get left feeling out a lot or they are allowed to misbehave much longer than the rest because they're seen as &quot;the baby&quot; for so long.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From your limited description I am hearing a child that is feeling frustrated and angry but hasn't learned how to express it in a healthy way.  Also, children don't just start behaving this way over night...its a slow progression that develops over time.  Obviously he is getting reactions from his behavior, good or bad, and that is all children want. They don't care about the punishment, they're just looking for any reaction they can get.  What he is doing works and probably has been working for some time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few things I would suggest you start looking at regarding your son;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Diet.  What we take in has a huge affect on what we put out...and I mean that on every level. If your child (or even an adult for that matter) has a poor, unbalanced diet chaos will ensue. Cut out sugar, heavy carbs and pull back on the dairy. It has been proved these things cause mood swings, even in grown ups. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Sleep.  It would not shock me to find out your son is running bed time in the house, because who ever runs bed time, is the one in charge.  Does he have a routine? Is he getting all of the RM sleep he needs?  Is he sleeping on his own or co-sleeping (aka no one is sleeping) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Observe: So few parents take advantage of this very simple and useful technique. Instead what happens is the child acts and the parent instantly reacts which is generally followed by chaos and everyone being upset. This act/react method also leads to spanking, hitting, aggression, yelling and the list goes on. Next thing you know you have a frustrated parent and a poorly behaved child. This usually starts when they are 3 years old then escalates with time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take some time to set back and actually observe your child. I'll bet you can predict his behavior before it happens.  This is key. Stopping it before it starts.  If you know he is about to pick something up and break it...redirect him (and I don't mean yelling across the room for him to stop) I mean get up, walk over to him and ask him if he wants to play or go for a walk, maybe color or make cookies.  Something that brings you together and gives him what he is seeking; your time and attention. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes I hear stories about children breaking this or that, coloring on the wall, getting into something unsafe or not for them...then I ask, &quot;where were you?&quot; If that child had time to do what they are doing to misbehave, it means you weren't paying attention. He's 6...not 16.  He still needs to be supervised on a pretty consistent basis, and not by siblings. By adults. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking back; If he is talking back he is getting a reaction. What do you do when he talks back? Does he get his way? Do you yell at him, ignore him, talk back at him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lies; people lie out of fear.  And it doesn't have to be fear of punishment. It can just be fear of a face you make or a tone of voice you use.  Either way, he's getting a reaction of some sort. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for him bothering his siblings...that too is him seeking out attention. He is getting a reaction.  It might be normal for him to want their attention but it is not okay for him to think it's okay just because he is 6.  He is old enough to learn when someone wants space.  I would suggest setting up an area in the house that is off limits to him during certain times. Your older children deserve a safe place too.  Incorporate a timer and tell your son that this space is off limits till the timer goes off.  Then take that time to give him that one on one he is seeking out.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the reality, this isn't going to happen over night. He didn't just jump up one day and start behaving like this. His technique for getting attention has been created and locked in over years of trial and error.  This means it's going to take time to get it under control. Time and patience. Kind Communication and sticking to it for more than a few tries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this the answer? I have no idea, but I hope it gives a little insight into another view that maybe hasn't been seen.  Because if you don't get a handle on it now...dealing with it in 10 years is going to be even worse. Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T20:02:21.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24595" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-07T22:04:11.310" Score="4" ViewCount="391" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have young special needs kids and not enough budget room for babysitters and lots of date nights out. I think quality time that makes our relationship better and helps us connect is really important but have a hard time coming up with ideas besides watching TV/movies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some other romantic/intimate things we can do at home? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21823" LastActivityDate="2016-04-08T14:19:40.340" Title="What things do you do to build intimacy in your relationship when going out is not an option?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2016-04-18T12:19:32.723" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24592" CreationDate="2016-04-07T22:33:46.643" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;If anything, it's not the &lt;strong&gt;diagnosis&lt;/strong&gt; you should be concerned about, but the underlying &lt;strong&gt;condition&lt;/strong&gt; and the specific &lt;strong&gt;problems&lt;/strong&gt; it presents to the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sooner you have your son diagnosed, the better the chances that he can get help both to address his behavioral problems and to help him develop his extraordinary gifts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people are afraid of the mental health system (and in your case, maybe your country of origin is playing a role in that fear as well), but the US has some major advantages in this area:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can be fairly confident that nothing will be done to your son without your consent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are considerable resources available to assist both gifted and autistic children (that part probably varies a lot by where exactly in the US you live).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are also considerable resources available to assist the &lt;em&gt;parents&lt;/em&gt; of gifted and/or autistic children. You're NOT the only parent concerned about a child in similar circumstances.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I simply cannot conceive of any circumstances in which you and your son would be better off by NOT having him looked at by a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10122" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T22:33:46.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9178" CreationDate="2016-04-07T22:53:30.090" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is so vital to support the head and neck of a newborn baby. This is because if you allow the head to loll back for even a relatively short period of time, it cuts of the supply of oxygen through the trachaea so that they can suffocate. Try holding your neck backwards for as long as you can and you'll see precisely what I mean!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21825" LastActivityDate="2016-04-07T22:53:30.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24595" CreationDate="2016-04-08T13:09:08.237" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the risk of sounding trite - I think it's not so much about &lt;em&gt;what you do&lt;/em&gt;, rather about &lt;em&gt;how you do it&lt;/em&gt;, and the fact that you take time to think about what to do, and do it together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, certain activites are difficult / impossible at the moment (romantic weekend for two in Paris, day-long motorcycle rides etc). Still, there is a lot you can do together which is possible at home in the evening, when your kid is asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What exactly depends on your preferences. Some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;playing games together (board games, computer games, ...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cooking together&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;inviting friends for a nice evening&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;planing the next holiday or whatever else you are looking forward to&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;sharing some physical intimacy - there are many possibilities, taking a bath together, massage, cuddling or any type of sexual activity you enjoy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;finally, there's nothing wrong with watching a movie together - as long it's not the only thing you do&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition to that, even if you cannot afford a babysitter, there are other ways to get some free time. Maybe you have good friends, with or without childern of their own, who will babysit (possibly in exchange for other favors, or because they enjoy being with your kid). Are there any grandparents, aunts/uncles etc.? Also, often there are children's activities offered by scouting associations, local authorities, churches etc. where children are taken care of for half a day or a day - maybe that's an option?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, there may be activities which you can do as a family, while still having some time for the two of you. Even if it's just sitting on a park bench arm in arm while your kid is playing in the sand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a bit of creativity, you'll hopefully find something that gives you the intimacy you need, and still keeps your kid happy. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-04-08T13:09:08.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24595" CreationDate="2016-04-08T14:19:40.340" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you know your kids sleep schedules and how long they sleep for then schedule an in-house date night during that time. The key to any date is ambiance, even if its a take-out from the local cheapie diner/chicken shack/kebab shop if you take the time to make the table, put candles and cutlery out, lower the lights, put on the walrus of luuuuve then you can bring some spark to it. Alternatively, candle up the bathroom with tea lights, run a hot bath for your partner and give them a shoulder rub. It's about ambiance, you could do the same with a big bathtowel on the bed, candles etc and give each other full body massages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thing is its about making a concious effort together and setting an ambiance. Kids tend to knock the spontaneity out of getting jiggy, so by knowing their routines and how they act in certain circumstances means that you can factor in a certain amount of spontaneity if your both prepared to work it, if they're watching a cartoon that can keep their attention for 20-30 mins, then you have a 10-15 minute window of opportunity for it. You can get something like that going by texting each other beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's even the little things that get forgotten about in any LTR, such as a bunch of flowers, a novel a thoughtful act a small compliment, things that get forgotten in the day to day life of having a family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3881" LastActivityDate="2016-04-08T14:19:40.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3962" CreationDate="2016-04-08T22:58:51.407" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I let my 4 year old and 3 year old stay alone for many minutes at a time but the bathroom door is wide open and i take that time to put away the many baskets of laundry that are ALWAYS around and also to tidy all the bedrooms ect...im upstairs the whole time just not in the bathroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21833" LastActivityDate="2016-04-08T22:58:51.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24602" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-09T02:13:46.250" Score="4" ViewCount="438" Body="&lt;p&gt;So there's a name that we liked for our baby but I have a childhood distant friend having the same name.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Would she (yeah its a she) be offended if we name our baby after her? How do I approach or announce it to her or considering that she is distant but in my facebook, should i ask her anything at all?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edited to add: The name is not in her honour since we are not acquaintances but I quite like her name which is pretty uncommon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21834" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-04-09T12:53:39.700" LastActivityDate="2016-04-09T13:15:29.027" Title="Choosing same name as a friend, how to ask or annonce?" Tags="|pregnancy|friends|names|girls|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="517" CreationDate="2016-04-09T04:04:06.950" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter had this same battle. For weeks we had to pin her down because she refused to open her mouth. Finally, we found a remedy this week. We turn on &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilbgBwj7ysE&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Daniel tiger&lt;/a&gt; on the tv and she opens up for brush time. We haven't tried on the phone yet, but the tv has been working all week with no battles!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before that, daddy playing peekaboo while mommy would snipe in brushing during baby laughs was the best thing going.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16234" LastActivityDate="2016-04-09T04:04:06.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24602" CreationDate="2016-04-09T13:15:29.027" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;What you name your child is up to you and no one else. If you like the name, go for it, and don't worry if she will be offended, especially since you don't have a close relationship that will be affected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people would be honored to have a baby named after them, but that is a specific honor given because a person has had an important role in your life, and consulting the person would be appropriate if they're still alive and close to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just using the same name is a much different story.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would name my baby without worrying. If you're concerned, you could message her on facebook asking her if she would mind your using her beautiful name for your own baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's too distant an acquaintance for that, then when you make the announcement, you might message her privately on facebook telling her how much you've always loved the name. Most people would be happy for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-04-09T13:15:29.027" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24609" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24617" CreationDate="2016-04-09T18:31:30.733" Score="10" ViewCount="476" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a three and a half year old boy. We have been going to this theme park for years, he has gone on all of the rides which are age appropriate since a little more than one without any sign of fear. Today he has been completely different. He won't do anything, he breaks down into uncontrollable screaming when we get close. He won't even walk by the adult rides, he says they are &quot;too scary&quot;. He doesn't want to watch the Sesame Street characters. Is this the normal way fear develops in children, or is it possibly a sensory issue? (There were children yelling excitedly, maybe too much stimulation?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, what should I do or not do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were able to distract him in line by keeping him busy, and he went on some of the ride he was on last year. Afterwards we asked him if they were scary and he said &quot;no&quot;. We didn't push the issue with the rides he has never been on before, because we didn't know how he would react. When approaching the adult ride (one in particular) we would wait till it stopped before walking past. On many occasions he asked for his headphones (which we provided). It was a jarring experience for us because his reaction was so different to when he was younger, in fact he has done the same things at a younger age with absolutely no sign of fear, and we were scared of pushing him too hard and introducing significant stress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7903" LastEditorUserId="7903" LastEditDate="2016-04-11T18:26:26.303" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T16:50:03.500" Title="Fear developing in three year old" Tags="|fears|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24610" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24611" CreationDate="2016-04-09T23:45:00.897" Score="4" ViewCount="2140" Body="&lt;p&gt;I give my 16 year old daughter 1 dollar a day for keeping straight A's (90% or above in every class).  If she drops to a B in one of her classes, no dollar until she brings it back up (I check via the online access portal).  Another dollar a day if she has above 92% in every class, and a third if she has above 94% (usually she only gets the dollar for 90%).  I give her another dollar a day if she brushes/walks the dog before dark without me asking.  I also give her 1 dollar for every time she exercises (1 hour of tennis, run two miles, etc) So she could potentially be earning up to 5 dollars a day.  She generally earns around 1-2 dollars a day.  She uses this money to pay for ALL of her own clothes, her own phones (I pay for the service/contract but she has to pay for the device), presents for friends' birthdays, shopping, movies, outside food, and general other expenses. Is this okay?  She has been telling me that it's not &quot;normal&quot; or &quot;legit&quot; for her to pay for all of her own clothes, but with a 5$/day allowance, she should have more than enough money for that!  Side note: she has around 2-3 hours of homework per weeknight, and does 6-7 hours on Saturdays and Sundays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21839" LastActivityDate="2020-02-12T19:00:00.320" Title="What expenses should I pay for my 16-year-old daughter" Tags="|teen|money|clothes|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24611" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24610" CreationDate="2016-04-10T00:52:19.137" Score="12" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is this okay?  She has been telling me that it's not &quot;normal&quot; or &quot;legit&quot; for her to pay for all of her own clothes...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you have written, it sounds as though the only major expense you're not assuming is that of clothing. What you are providing is fine, and what you're requiring her to pay for is also fine, I think, though I was a bit more lenient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About her clothing, though, I agree with her. A child should not have to work for their basic clothing needs when the parents are capable of doing so. Basic clothing needs don't include designer footwear, prom dresses/tuxes, or expensive clothes. But reasonable, everyday clothing needs appropriate for the weather conditions should be supplied by the parent(s).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;According to the United Nations Human Rights Commission's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx&quot;&gt;Convention on the Rights of the Child&lt;/a&gt; (where &quot;child&quot; is defined as &quot;every human being below the age of eighteen years&quot;), children have a right to receive (from their parents or the state if the parents are negligent), food, clothing, housing, free education, free health care, and leisure time, among other things.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;The parent(s) or others responsible for the child have the primary responsibility to secure, within their abilities and financial capacities, the conditions of living necessary for the child's development. States Parties, in accordance with national conditions and within their means, shall take appropriate measures to assist parents and others responsible for the child to implement this right and shall in case of need provide material assistance and support programmes, particularly with regard to nutrition, clothing and housing. States Parties recognize the right of the child to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child and to participate freely in cultural life and the arts.&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;*&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;The US did not ratify the Convention.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-04-10T00:52:19.137" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24613" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4633" CreationDate="2016-04-10T04:27:46.243" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try some baking soda and water. Just a small amount&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21841" LastActivityDate="2016-04-10T04:27:46.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="17993" CreationDate="2016-04-10T13:15:35.300" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I myself am a step-parent to a 5 year old who's gone through some similar problems with her father, who comes and goes when it suits him. He hadn't done one thing for her and her mum when she was born. When she was four she asked to see him, so I contacted them as they thought it was me stopping them when in fact it was themselves. It lasted 2 weeks and those 2 weeks I was the one who dropped her off to them, then he choose drugs and drink over seeing his own blood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Myself and my partner decided that from now on only people who are in her life stably will be a part of our lives. Kids don't take well to change at all, as in their heads it's not fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe just try explaining things to her and being honest about her birth mummy. She will understand in her own way. We thought keeping the truth from our wee one would help, but in fact the truth was better than lies. Never lie on the reasons either, as she will never know who to believe or turn to. Keep doing the things you are doing but remember she's grieving for her mum. As much as she calls you mum and loves you, she's lashing out in anger, confusion, and upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21843" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-04-11T11:23:37.900" LastActivityDate="2016-04-11T11:23:37.900" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24617" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24609" CreationDate="2016-04-11T20:21:10.930" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Developing a fear of things is a part of normal childhood development (after all being frightened of somethings is a useful skill). Its common to see this develop around the age of three &lt;a href=&quot;http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-11/lifestyle/sns-201204101630--tms--premhnstr--k-j20120411apr11_1_fear-dark-night-scary-thoughts&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;http://cpancf.com/articles_files/COMMON_CHILDHOOD_FEARS.asp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20160429230416/http://www.child-central.com/Childhood-Fear.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;3&lt;/a&gt; as this is the age at which their capacity for imagination develops. Thus they become capable of imagining themselves in situations and what might happen but not yet old enough to distinguish between reality and their imagination. They are also developing powerful emotions that they are not yet fully in control of, and things they are not in control of are often what children fear &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&amp;amp;np=141&amp;amp;id=1612#5&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;4&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have experienced something similar with my own daughter, as she grew into this age she became more fearful of certain things in the playground that she had not been before. In part I attribute this to not having known to be frightened of it before (fear is, to some extent, a learned reaction) but now knew she might hurt herself in some ways and had the capacity to imagine this happening. There was a day when she returned from the park and started telling me what first seemed like a wholly convincing story about a child who had fallen off the slide and had to be taken away in an ambulance. She supplied my details that made it seem credible at first but it became less so as she insisted that the reason the ambulance was necessary was that the child has swallowed all the barks chips in the playground so they had to shut it down. Naturally I checked with my wife and nothing had happened though they had seen an ambulance near the park a couple of weeks earlier. Seen as an imaginative story it does make sense from a child perspective and it did help me learn to understand things from her viewpoint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is, these fears did not persist long given encouragement and the opportunity to overcome them along with validation of the emotion itself (acknowledging the feelings as real while showing that I was not afraid so as to demonstrate they were not the only ones to have in the situation). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you should keep an eye out for persistent fear and anxiety developing &lt;a href=&quot;http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/persistent-fear-and-anxiety-can-affect-young-childrens-learning-and-development/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;5&lt;/a&gt;, it doesn't seem like this is the case here and how you handled it was in line with expert recommendations &lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20160429230416/http://www.child-central.com/Childhood-Fear.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;3&lt;/a&gt;. It also seems to have worked so  I would have no worries. Validate you child's fear but provide plenty of encouragement and opportunity to overcome them and these should work themselves out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-11/lifestyle/sns-201204101630--tms--premhnstr--k-j20120411apr11_1_fear-dark-night-scary-thoughts&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-11/lifestyle/sns-201204101630--tms--premhnstr--k-j20120411apr11_1_fear-dark-night-scary-thoughts&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://cpancf.com/articles_files/COMMON_CHILDHOOD_FEARS.asp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://cpancf.com/articles_files/COMMON_CHILDHOOD_FEARS.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://web.archive.org/web/20160429230416/http://www.child-central.com/Childhood-Fear.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://web.archive.org/web/20160429230416/http://www.child-central.com/Childhood-Fear.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&amp;amp;np=141&amp;amp;id=1612#5&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&amp;amp;np=141&amp;amp;id=1612#5&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/persistent-fear-and-anxiety-can-affect-young-childrens-learning-and-development/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/persistent-fear-and-anxiety-can-affect-young-childrens-learning-and-development/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3270" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2016-11-11T16:50:03.500" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T16:50:03.500" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24618" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-12T02:35:52.597" Score="9" ViewCount="325" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is Chinese and I am an American guy. We live in the US and have a 4.5 y/o and 18 m/o. My wife's parents, in very traditional Chinese fashion (I guess it's common among many Asian cultures), come every 6 months for a 6-month period (i.e. 6 on, 6 off) to help us cook, clean, raise the children, yell at and complain incessantly about all of us and tell my wife and I specifically what good-for-nothing, incompetent, ungrateful, scum-of-the-earth people we are. And that's just in a morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question comes down to, what will the children's development be like in this situation? Specifically, if anyone has any experience w/ this kind of thing, I'd like to know how your kids turned out; particularly in terms of emotional adjustment, anxiety, patience, etc. I have met few people living regularly in this kind of multi-generational household and fewer still with a multicultural and multi-generational household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My in-laws are very nice in their thought to come over and never let us lift a finger to do any housework ever again for the remainder of their lives. However, I do worry about the anxiety and stress this places on my children (not to mention the in-laws). To give some perspective, my in-laws grew up in Maoist Beijing. What we in the US would consider less than trivial (e.g. using a paper towel to wipe up a spill), can be a major transgression in their eyes. Obviously, when you've got 2 young boys tearing through the house, breaking things to watch them break, throwing food -- in other words, being kids -- this creates a lot of tension. In addition, my wife and I frequently clash with what we see as my in-laws' overbearing behavior. Over things like career, money, raising our children and just generally what godless sacks of Satanshit my wife and I are. So those are the cons...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pros that I see: my kids are really bilingual. My Mandarin isn't great and so my wife and I communicate in English. When the in laws are away, I can tell my kid's Chinese deteriorates. Dinner is on the table every night at 6pm (convenient for us but I think more importantly for the kids). Thanks to the Chinese belief that a child without a mouth stuffed with food is a child on the verge of starvation, my younger one has really thrived (whereas before he was underweight). Free childcare is also a bonus and they do provide better care for a young child than any nanny or childcare center. But I also have been trying to think about this more long-term as well. My in laws expect to be taken care of when they're old and my wife has pretty much committed to that. Although I don't know what that means for me (I'll probably be participating in that somehow), I do think it's good for kids to see multiple generations taking care of one another; in fact, that's one of the major criticisms I have of US culture, which I see as a general disregard for the well-being of families and caring for our vulnerable populations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So anyone with experience in this kind of situation, your advice and feedback are much appreciated. As my post denotes, my wife and I clearly have our own issues with her parents. I'd wager Those who have lived in this kind of culture (natively or otherwise) would agree with me that asking my in-laws to &quot;compromise&quot; -- at least in the US/Western context -- is not going to happen. Given that our situation will probably continue into the foreseeable future, should I just try to shield my kids from some of the craziness? I do try to counterbalance our incompatibility by being a (relatively) calm(er) but firm force in the house, in a meager attempt to arbitrate some peace and sanity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NOTE: I do make some generalizations about cultures here and I don't mean to offend anyone. I realize that I'm coming at this from my own cultural perspective and I carry my own biases. And yes, I know &quot;they're like that because they love you so try to understand blah blah blah&quot;. I'm also aware that we can tell them not to come back; but that is not something my wife, and to a lesser extent I, want. My question, very specifically, is what are children's developmental outcomes when raised in this kind of environment and what can I/we do to optimize our situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user9821" LastEditorDisplayName="user9821" LastEditDate="2016-04-12T16:33:06.447" LastActivityDate="2016-04-22T04:27:20.573" Title="Kids in multicultural, multi-generational household" Tags="|bilingual|grandparents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24619" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-12T09:24:17.257" Score="1" ViewCount="397" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 20 month twins who can almost reach taps in the bathroom.  Our hotwater system is fixed at 55°C.  It feels too hot for them, and it's not adjustable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How have other parents managed this?  I don't want them to burn themselves, but I'm no great plumber either, and replacing our taps (faucets in the US) would be expensive and complex...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13549" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T18:17:41.890" Title="How to limit hot water temperature if your boiler doesn't have this control?" Tags="|water|temperatures|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24620" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24636" CreationDate="2016-04-12T10:05:49.567" Score="3" ViewCount="345" Body="&lt;p&gt;After doing some research online (which admittedly is always a bit prone to error) I feel pretty confident that my newborn son has Silent Reflux (or laryngopharyngeal reflux). In short, it seems like stomach acid is entering his esophagus after feeding and causing discomfort/irritiation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We spoke with our family doctor about it and he didn't seem that concerned and mentioned that it can pass over time. I'd still like to explore practical tips to help in the meantime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has someone had experience with this before? Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20899" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T18:07:04.500" Title="What are practical tips for helping newborn with possible &quot;Silent Reflux&quot; condition?" Tags="|newborn|health|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24619" CreationDate="2016-04-12T14:02:21.690" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you can't limit the temperature at the boiler,  then one option that you can investigate is having a thermostatic compensating valve installed where the hot water outlets the boiler to feed the house. This will require a plumber to install as it requires having a cold water line routed to mix with the hot - but that way all of the water throughout the house will have a controllable set maximum temperature and will be far cheaper then upgrading a bunch of nice faucets. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This assumes that the hot water that feeds the faucets is on a separate system and isn't also being routed to multiple radiators throughout the house used for heat. If it is all one connected system using hot water radiators on the same circuit then your only option is at the individual faucets - which can be a real pain for things like shower fittings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-04-12T14:02:21.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24623" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24618" CreationDate="2016-04-12T19:30:57.367" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer comes from what I've learned living with in-laws (from China) for 5 years. Unfortunately I do not have &quot;sources&quot; to back it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The development of the children in this situation may be affected as follow:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they will copy &quot;bad&quot; behavior they see at home (if any, although this is applicable to any unwanted behavior at home regardless of multicultural situation)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they will be less independent (for example, kids get used to grandparents providing things to the kids even before kids ask for them)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they will be more timid (due to the way in which kids are taught to &quot;respect&quot; their elders)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This situation can take a heavy toll on you and your wife. Feel free to contact me directly if you'd like. Our &quot;solution&quot; was far from ideal but I could share it privately for you to have a point of reference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17136" LastActivityDate="2016-04-12T19:30:57.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24625" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-12T22:14:27.203" Score="4" ViewCount="2634" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a vertical black line on a womans belly (shes white caucasian). I heard that its a common fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where does this line come from? Does it have a biological function? &#xA;I heard about a remnant of a survival feature that would help a newborn baby to reach for the breasts. Any clue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21860" LastActivityDate="2018-03-25T04:12:10.690" Title="What is the black line on pregnant womens belly" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24618" CreationDate="2016-04-13T06:00:07.240" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are differences in the way children are raised in different parts of the world. I don't see any real problems in terms of child development. The perceived problem is because of the differing expectations given our cultural background. Having in-laws staying with you as a modern family can be difficult even in a Chinese household and this can be the real source of friction. There should only be one head of the house, and that is you. When parents are staying in the same house, that will bring a conflict of authority. Try communicating to them, through your wife, to shorten the visit and/or making it less frequent, if that is possible. I see that your in-laws are doing all they can to show that they care, but not in the way you would like it. But the important thing is that they are concerned in what makes their children and grandchildren happy. If all these long visits make you suffer, don't be afraid of communicating it to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastEditorUserId="6561" LastEditDate="2016-04-13T06:09:41.840" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T06:09:41.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24609" CreationDate="2016-04-13T06:21:07.753" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children's emotions at that age change a lot and often. This is completely normal. I see this in my own children. There was a time when he was scared of taking a bath. Toddlers are learning at tremendous pace and they are taking in all experiences, making relations in their mind along the way. If you can distract him that would be fine, but if he is still scared, it's ok for him not to take the ride, or take something that he likes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At younger age, they did not understand as much as they do now. They did not know what might be dangerous for them, whereas they start to recognise that as they grow older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should also add that children's mood is also very much affected by whether they are tired or hungry, just like us grown-ups. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See if he responds differently the next time you are there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6561" LastEditorUserId="6561" LastEditDate="2016-04-13T15:11:41.033" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T15:11:41.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23518" CreationDate="2016-04-13T11:40:14.837" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Constantly ask do you have to go to the potty.OR set a short song that goes like this ,If you have to go potty stop and go right away flush wash and be on your way&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21862" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T11:40:14.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24590" CreationDate="2016-04-13T12:46:31.823" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can tell you about my experience.  Around age three, my daughter began occasionally watching a cartoon where the characters would use a few Spanish words.  We speak English and one other language at home, but not Spanish.  She started to say things like &quot;I want to watch &lt;em&gt;Spanish&lt;/em&gt; [movie name]&quot;.  She also discovered how to change the audio track from English to Spanish, and she would watch large parts of movies in Spanish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She currently knows a few words, but she can't actually communicate in Spanish.  We allowed her to experiment with this new language, but we also didn't push her.  I don't think you can easily become fluent just by sitting in front of a TV, particularly if nobody else in your life speaks that language.  The interactivity seems to be the motivation, as she is eager to speak her other non-English language with her grandma.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Somewhat related -- &lt;a href=&quot;http://homepages.abdn.ac.uk/j.masthoff/pages/Publications/EdMedia04.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; is a quote from a study on adults using interactive TV:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Finally, participants indicated that contact with other people - teachers, peers and target language speakers - motivated them to learn&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21688" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T12:46:31.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24635" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24644" CreationDate="2016-04-13T14:28:43.597" Score="1" ViewCount="395" Body="&lt;p&gt;The kids of my GF, 14 and 11 respectively, have that annoying tendancy to nag at each other when night time is coming. Teen girl likes to pout and teenage boy thinks himself as some kind of prima donna that like to be respected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please find the kind of scene/play, I'm witnessing&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TB: Let me show you, the pictures I've taken from entertainement park&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TG: Oh this is the rabbit I draw (she goes to the screen and point that out to us)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TB: TG! Are these your pics or mine? Do you want to show them or should I???&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom: Let me do a charade&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TG: Oh! I know this charade! I give you the answer&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TB: No! Me first!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TG is unhappy and pouts&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TB: Hey TG, are you ok?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TG will not answer because she pouts due to sensitiveness over different topics&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Luckily, they don't do it often but when they do, I'm at loss at what I should say if I should say anything. Usually, I'm taking a back seat and it is like I'm having to endure a bad play, a funny bad play I would say but still a bad play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My aim is to get minimal peace of mind when I'm arriving at home, but if I want that minimal peace of mind, I have to intervene (or I think I do). One of my belief is I should intervene only if their behaviour are going out of hands and that they should find a way to deal with their issues or simply to be able to behave properly, despite the tiredness/emotional upheaval.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm bit at loss between strict authoritarian rule and too much laissez faire. I know the limit is between the two but I could not find my balance yet. I know that their mum should be doing the discpline but she has more of a friend's attitude toward them and sometimes just sometimes, she has a all or nothing attitude, yell or unconditional love.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm also a bit at loss because, well , it is a teenage boy and also a teenage girl&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most likely, my question will be very much opinion based but to be honest, your insights are more than welcome as I'm learning parenthood and hopefully, becoming a decent one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20047" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-04-14T09:10:26.930" Title="teens nagging at each others" Tags="|behavior|teen|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24620" CreationDate="2016-04-13T16:38:34.167" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a doctor, but my understanding is that reflux does resolve itself over time.  The problem is often that the valve between the esophagus and stomach is underdeveloped, and can't keep the stomach acid out of the esophagus.  Once the child matures and that valve has a chance to fully develop, the problem often resolves itself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;In the meantime, though&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, there is no reason for your child to continue to suffer.  If your current doctor refuses to consider treatment, it might be worth trying to get a second opinion.  There are several medications that can help considerably with the child's reflux, usually by neutralizing or reducing some of the acid in the stomach.  If your current doctor won't prescribe it, you might want to talk to another doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other things you can do to help&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;One analogy I found helpful was to think of your child's stomach as a big water-filled sack, with an small, open valve on top.  Anything you do to your child that would cause that sack to spill its water will also cause your child's stomach acid to come up into the esophagus.  Thus you might want to avoid things like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;turning the child upside-down (or even prone, in some situations)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;squeezing the child around the middle (or holding them around the middle with their back to you)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;excessive spinning, twirling, jumping, bumping, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T16:38:34.167" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24620" CreationDate="2016-04-13T18:07:04.500" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter had extremely bad reflux as an infant, and eventually had to go on medication.  Before we moved to that step, our doctor had us try several things to help her:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Smaller, more frequent feedings.  Less volume in the stomach, less likely to overflow and force stomach acid back up the esophagus.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Feed in an upright position.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Burp more frequently during feeding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Positioning.  After eating, carry the baby in a sling, or put them in a bouncy seat for 20-30 minutes.  The idea is to keep their upper body a bit elevated so gravity can assist with keeping the acid down.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Elevate the head of their mattress.  The concept is the same as above, letting gravity help with keeping the stomach acid down.  Our doctor's recommendation here was to get one of the wedge positioners, and put it UNDER the mattress, as opposed to in the crib, which is what the directions called for.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of these did help with managing her reflux, and she did grow out of it around the time she was ready to start solids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T18:07:04.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22634" CreationDate="2016-04-13T18:27:35.800" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We moved from Brazil to US with a 3 year old five years ago.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Try to get a school that has ESL program.  That will help the child to learn English and to feel support from school regarding the language difficulty.&#xA;Whatever happens, don't stop speaking your native language at home.  Kids learn fast, so they will pick up the new language quite soon, but if for a moment they feel that you are concerned about their English learning, they will start to associate the native language as bad and English as good and they might block the native language or feel embarrassed to speak.  This happened to my daughter and it took us a while to realize she had completely stopped speaking Portuguese.  Fortunately she can still understand but now we are working hard to get her speaking again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21865" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T18:27:35.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24640" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-13T18:28:46.553" Score="4" ViewCount="479" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4 yr. old Son, he was adopted at birth. His biological &quot;mom&quot; used meth during pregnancy.  I knew that he could develop problems in regard to behaviors.   He's extremely bright, learns easy and learns fast.  His vocabulary is 100% as well as comprehension. He knows right from wrong, I'm certain of that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, he runs off when we're in public, and thinks it's funny, no consequence makes a difference, including a good spanking, which is the immediate response.  He will run into a busy highway, with us chasing him with every ounce of strength we have.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He plays fairly good with other kids, but has to be in control, and if he don't have that control, he will hit, and hit hard.   I've let the natural consequence take place whenever possible and he's been slapped or kicked by other kids and it's very deserved, but once again does no good.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will scream &quot;shut up&quot; at us or his grandparents, or answer with a smart mouth &quot;nope&quot;, over and again.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's not destructive, loves to have stories told to him or for me to sing to him and he engages in conversation with interest and the ability to converse.  When he's in preschool, he's good and has only been in time out a couple of time in the last year, his behavior is also very appropriate in Sunday School.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I question myself, constantly and wonder if I'm the problem.  I took him to a child psychiatrist, who wanted to put him on several (4) different medications and never as much as did a physical or blood work on him.  I'm guessing ADHD and defiant personality disorder, but simply don't know where to turn.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm scared and unfortunately coming apart.  I love this child with every part of me, but I'm failing.  I don't know where to turn, what to do or say and it's not hard to see what the future holds for him.  Any suggestions or advise would be appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21866" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2016-04-13T19:53:42.473" LastActivityDate="2016-04-15T04:19:43.673" Title="4 year old, biological Mom used drugs, behavior out of control" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22634" CreationDate="2016-04-13T23:27:52.487" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would take a look at the local school district in the place where you think you will live. In the US, school districts may or may not follow city and county division. You should be able to search for things like 'school district for city-name'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will help you to know when the school year starts, what sort of options various schools provide (such as ESL). It will also tell you what grade your child should be in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, the grades are divided by age when school year starts, not when the calendar year starts. In most places, any child who is 5 at the beginning of the school year should start kindergarten. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be aware that kindergarten is a little more formal in the US. I was surprised to learn that kids are expected to know how to count, know the alphabet and have started writing when entering kindergarten. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it might be beneficial to look at private schools, and I would personally recommend a good Montessori school. Our current school has classrooms age 3-6 (pre-k &amp;amp; and k) and then 1st-3rd grade. Doing something like that might help her catch up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some cities also have dual language schools, mostly French but sometimes also German. That might be an option (private schools again). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for preparing, instead of videos in English, I would recommend you read 1 English kids/baby book for her a couple of times a week, and helped her translate. when she asks what something is, or how something work, take it as an opportunity to teach what the thing is called in English too. Keep speaking German at home though, would be my recommendation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-04-13T23:27:52.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24643" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-14T08:55:30.270" Score="2" ViewCount="81" Body="&lt;p&gt;My childhood best friend's family would tell their young daughter, maybe 5-7 years old things like &quot;Im gonna call the bad man&quot; or &quot;The bad man's gonna get ya if you dont be good.&quot; I dont think they did this a whole lot but even if it was a rare thing for her parents, her older brother definitely took advantage of her fear on this &quot;bad man&quot; thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It definitely made her straighten up, but Im wondering if this discipline strategy, &quot;fear of a thing&quot; can have negative side effects. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that I'm writing this question, I guess Christians do this with the Devil / &quot;You'll go to Hell if you dont live right&quot;, and children are probably more scared by this teaching than adults, if my childhood memory serves me correctly. So if the &quot;bad man&quot; fear disciplinary strategy is a bad thing for kids, might the religious version also have negative effects on them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13749" LastEditorUserId="13749" LastEditDate="2016-04-14T14:19:18.360" LastActivityDate="2016-04-14T14:19:18.360" Title="What could be the effects of telling a small child &quot;The bad man is going to come&quot; as a threat to enforce good behavior?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2016-04-14T16:26:48.310" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24644" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24635" CreationDate="2016-04-14T09:10:26.930" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a few considerations here. First and foremost is that you aren't their Dad, you're their mother's boyfriend. This means parenting strategy is her responsibility and not yours, and you need to take your cues from her. If you step in and start trying to parent them it might cause friction between you and her. Take her lead, she knows them better than you anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to ask yourself what you want out of the relationship with these kids. Do you want to be their dad, or just to help out occasionally? What are your GF's expectations? Get the first straight in your head before you talk to your GF about this. You are not their father and its entirely fair if you don't want to be. If you are in this for the long haul with your GF and see being life partners then you will end up being these kids stepfather though, and you need to start thinking about what kind of dad you want to be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So talk to her about it, tell her your concerns and ask how she wants to play it. If she wants you to be a father figure to them then you need to develop a partnership with a strategy. Then she needs to tell the kids that they need to listen to you and that you have authority. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are going to be a dad you need to be realistic about it and start slowly. You can't go from 0 to dad instantly, parenting is a skill and requires judgement and experience. Build a model in your head about how you want to be as a parent and work your way to it. You'll make plenty of mistakes, learn from them and move on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all you want is some peace and quiet then you may have to revise your expectations a bit. You have 2 kids at difficult ages, they have lots of hormones coursing through their veins and at the same time they want to stop being kids and start becoming adults, but they don't really know what that means. It's not easy for them or you, so you have to develop a certain zen about it. Try to be patient and understanding and teach them life skills. Set expectations of behavior with penalties and rewards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2016-04-14T09:10:26.930" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24625" CreationDate="2016-04-14T12:38:16.447" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The line was there before the pregnancy, then known as &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linea_alba_(abdomen)&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;linea alba&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; (&quot;white line&quot;), a line of fibrous connective tissue running down your central line - if you as the father should happen to have a &quot;sixpack&quot;, the linea alba causes the central dividing line. In most cases, it can not be really seen or at least goes unnoticed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the pregnancy, the general melanin production is increased due to hormonal changes. Many women get darker nipples, some dark areas in the face (&quot;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melasma&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;mask of pregnancy&lt;/a&gt;&quot;) or are prone to hyperpigmentation / dark spots if exposed to the sun. The darkening of the linea alba area into what then becomes visible as &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linea_nigra&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;linea nigra&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; is another example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While darker nipples sometimes are explained as useful in helping the newborn to find the breast and nurse, I don't think the linea nigra has any biological function, like other areas of higher pigmentation as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-04-14T16:30:46.190" LastActivityDate="2016-04-14T16:30:46.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24646" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24647" CreationDate="2016-04-14T17:21:46.907" Score="4" ViewCount="687" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are finally thinking of throwing our first venue birthday party.  My son is of pre-K age and has classmates he wants to invite.  My wife and I don't know the families or the kids ourselves and I can only rely on my son to tell me who his friends really are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I RSVP for a venue, they want me to say how many kids/adults will come, but I don't know.  On one hand I want to know ballpark how many kids will show up and, to a larger extent, if it is even worth it to have a venue party but on the other hand I need to reserve in time to have a space.  If no one would come to the venue, I would rather host a family/family friend party at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How does one handle this balance of reserving early versus figuring out how many might actually show up?  Or, to have more objective answers, what can you do when you want to call up a venue to grab a spot?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3069" LastEditorUserId="3069" LastEditDate="2016-04-14T17:36:56.680" LastActivityDate="2016-04-15T16:56:00.617" Title="How do you handle invites and venue registration for a venue birthday party when you don't know the turnout?" Tags="|birthday|party|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24646" CreationDate="2016-04-14T17:51:51.483" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Invites&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For pre-K I would advice inviting ALL the kids in his class. My own pre-K boys don't remember all their friends, say the love playing with someone one day, and says they 'never liked him' the next day (and it turns out the kids wanted to use the same toy or similar). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, some of his class mates he is indifferent towards, but when I talk to the parents they tell me their kid talks about my kid all the time. Friendships can be very onesided at this age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, inviting everyone is a good thing - it also teaches that you cannot exclude kids, which I personally think is cruel. I want our sons to learn that even people they don't get along with are important and should not be excluded. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find something like evite very useful for gathering RSVPs, but a note with a phone/email is great too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Venue&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for venue, take a look at some places you are interested in. Many have a range, and a 'party package' is up to a certain amount of kids, usually 20-25. Usually they don't require exact numbers, and you end up paying for the base pack + any possible extras who shows on the day (like $X for up to 20 kids, then $Y per kid) . Usually those places require a deposit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some experiences&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, between 50 and 75 percent of invited kids show up to. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You usually have to reserve venues early, and you also have to notify parents early, people usually have lots of stuff going on. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I would say start with figure out how many kids you would invite, remember to count siblings if you think they will show. I find that most kids in the age will usually bring one parent, but sometimes both. Find a venue that can potentially hold most kids &amp;amp; adults, the chances of everyone coming is very low.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask for RSVPs and use that to figure out size of cake, amount of food/goodiebags etc. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Know that some will reply yes and not show, kids get sick, have terrible days and so forth. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-04-14T17:51:51.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24640" CreationDate="2016-04-14T21:44:06.720" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like typical 4 year old behavior, to me. You have a smart kid, one you can be proud of, who knows how to behave in certain settings but doesn't when with you. When with you, he feels safe enough to let himself show how he's really feeling. That's a good thing, for all that it's aggravating. I understand it's a touchy subject, but since you asked for advice-- I would stop spanking. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9768466&quot;&gt;It's been shown to increase antisocial and impulsive behaviors in children&lt;/a&gt;, and that is the opposite of what you're going for. Some things to try instead: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talking to his preschool &amp;amp; Sunday school teachers to learn what's working there.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Paying attention to his interactions with peers and intervening before it comes to blows. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ignoring his smart mouth. It doesn't hurt anyone, really. Address it again once you've dealt with the violence and self-endangering behaviors. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Giving lots of praise when he does things correctly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might find a parenting book or two helpful. It will take trying a few to find one that works for your family, so head over to the library. One that might apply well for your son is:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0060739665&quot;&gt;Raising Your Spirited Child&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20772" LastActivityDate="2016-04-14T21:44:06.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24650" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24652" CreationDate="2016-04-15T03:56:50.273" Score="4" ViewCount="189" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a new mother, and approaching 4 weeks of breastfeeding my newborn. I am going back to work in 2 weeks and I plan to pump my milk while I am away. My problem is when I pump milk, the let down is not really strong, and it causes the milk to leak on the side of cones making it harder to collect milk. Is this because my body is still establishing milk? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21874" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-09T18:26:18.580" LastActivityDate="2018-12-09T18:26:18.580" Title="When can I breastpump?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24640" CreationDate="2016-04-15T04:19:43.673" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son was born under nearly identical circumstances, and has had very similar behavior challenges.  I would caution you to avoid attributing all his behavior to the circumstances of his birth.  That leads you to view it as an unavoidable part of who he is, when really it's something he can work on and improve over time.  His birth likely played a factor, but you don't want to view it as a disproportionate factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, don't lose heart if things people claim work for other children don't work for your son.  It can make you feel like there's something you're just not &quot;getting.&quot;  Our daughter requires a tenth the effort to discipline compared to our son, and I'm not exaggerating.  All his misbehaviors are typical for a child his age, but what people don't get is he does them with much higher frequency and intensity.  We have no other option but to be stricter with him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People who watch him for an hour at church don't understand.  People who only have typical children don't understand.  Grandparents don't understand.  School teachers understand a little.  Therapists and other professionals understand a little.  Only other parents of similar children who have the responsibility 24/7 understand fully.  You have to figure out most of it for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the psychologist and medication goes, there is no blood test they can do to test for ADHD and the like.  The best they can do is try out some medication and see how they respond.  If it doesn't work, they best they can do is make adjustments and try again.  Not everyone is comfortable with medication, but you shouldn't let a lack of a blood test be the deciding factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What helps the most for our son is giving him plenty of outlets for physical energy, giving him extremely clear expectations, and a strong routine.  He is nine now and at a point where he behaves pretty well as long as we watch him like a hawk.  I don't know if that's comforting or terrifying.  Hang in there, you're doing a better job than you think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21875" LastActivityDate="2016-04-15T04:19:43.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24652" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24650" CreationDate="2016-04-15T11:25:33.047" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even with months of practice and well established milk supply, pumping will take longer and produce less milk than a nursing baby. Even the best designed breast pump is still only &lt;em&gt;almost&lt;/em&gt; like a baby's latch and sucking motion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that always helped me with letdown were relaxing (I was at work, so it took some conscious effort to breath deeply and not be stressed!) and thinking about my baby and about nursing. It felt really cheesy to me, needing to think of my son's face in order for milk to flow better -- and maybe it was just an additional relaxation method, not a separate factor -- but oddly enough, it worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practice is also something that makes pumping easier. You get more experience in putting the pump together and (more importantly) you learn what position, techniques, and speed work with your breasts and milk flow. Nothing is more frustrating than being at work and trying to get the stupid pump working the first time... and frustration is &lt;em&gt;excellent&lt;/em&gt; at decreasing milk flow, so it's just a cycle of diminishing returns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But once you're a couple months into a pumping routine, you will likely have a significant milk supply (between breastfeeding and pumping) and it will all be much easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, in short: &lt;strong&gt;You can, and should, pump now.&lt;/strong&gt; It won't necessarily be extremely productive yet, but it is good practice for when you &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to pump, and helps to increase your milk supply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-04-15T11:25:33.047" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24646" CreationDate="2016-04-15T16:56:00.617" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Has your child gone to any other parties of his pre-k class?  If so, about what is the turnout to those?  That should give you an indication of what the turnout to your kid's party will be.  If usually around half the class comes, then 50% is about what you can expect.  Of course, reserve somewhere where if &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; kid invited comes, you have room; but you can and should estimate the turnout and tell them that.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one time I did a venue birthday party, they wanted to know estimated turnout AND maximum ahead of time, and then about three days before I gave them the official RSVP count.  You absolutely should reserve the venue before you send out the invitations - your invitation should say where you're holding the party, and there's nothing worse than a venue running out of space after you've sent invitations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-04-15T16:56:00.617" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24487" CreationDate="2016-04-16T01:10:22.360" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;By age 7, the social ramifications of wearing a diaper are &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt;.  This isn't the sort of thing the other kids at his school haven't noticed.  If he hasn't started using the toilet after a couple of months around other kids, this isn't just stubbornness or your failure to win out, something is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've only run across a few cases of children this age who aren't using the toilet.  Here are the factors that were involved.  Please keep in mind that this is &lt;em&gt;not a comprehensive list&lt;/em&gt;; it is only those things that I've run into personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A child with a medical problem preventing control of their bladder and/or bowels.  These kids tend to be extremely ashamed of the problem, and it shows that they are genuinely trying to &quot;be normal&quot; and are hurt by every failure.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A child who has some sort of trauma in his or her life (loss of a parent, ongoing physical or sexual abuse, loss of a sibling, removal to an alternate custody situation, extreme parental neglect, anything on that scale) that has made him or her feel that the whole world is outside his or her control.  Children in such situations will sometimes regain their feeling of control and safety by controlling one of the three things they generally can: eating, excreting, or speaking.  They may have been perfectly good at all three prior to the trauma, but when they hit the point where they fail to cope, they pick one and adamantly stop eating, stop being toilet trained, or stop speaking until they regain their feeling of control over the world.  These kids absolutely own the decision to do what they do, and may actually seem to take pleasure in others being upset by it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A child who is developmentally disabled in some way, and cannot understand the expectation or its ramifications, but may enjoy the attention they get for lacking independence.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A child who is afraid of someone or something in the general education setting, and has found that by not using the toilet they will get relegated to a smaller special education setting that they think feels safer or somehow preferable, so much so that they are willing to endure the associated status loss at school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any of these cases, solving the underlying problem will make toilet training him possible.  If you think it sounds more like the medical case, see a pediatrician about it.  If he's struggling in other ways to keep up with kids his age, talk to the school about a more in-depth developmental evaluation.  If he's had a trauma or may be afraid of something he's not communicating to you, seek counseling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, of course, it may be something I simply don't have exposure to.  If that is the case, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will return to share what you learn so that the next person facing this problem may benefit from what your family has gone through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2016-04-16T01:10:22.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24657" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24659" CreationDate="2016-04-16T06:38:19.850" Score="0" ViewCount="301" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 yr old daughter is learning to read using phonics at school, where I did not learn that way.  Her school enforces the use of phonics not just in English lessons, but in all subjects (like Environmental Studies/EVS.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it looks like a better way to learn to pronounce words, I have noticed that English is not a perfect language in terms of phonics rules.  So I'm concerned there might be some confusion when my daughter needs to learn words like &lt;code&gt;elbow&lt;/code&gt; where &lt;code&gt;w&lt;/code&gt; is silent. They have not talked about silent characters yet as they are at an early stage.  Also I've noticed that many words appear to be inconsistent (like &lt;code&gt;cow&lt;/code&gt;) which has a different pronunciation at the end.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am thinking child may learn / memorize words, but they will not completely grasp the pronunciation of words (like &lt;code&gt;cow&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;elbow&lt;/code&gt; above).  Am I overthinking this or are these differences shortcomings of the teaching method?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11655" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2016-04-18T15:31:54.513" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T15:31:54.513" Title="If schools teach phonics correctly?" Tags="|primary-schooler|education|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24657" CreationDate="2016-04-16T12:36:52.453" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;English, unlike many alphabetic languages, is not written in a perfectly transparent fashion.  You cannot necessarily pronounce a word correctly just by looking at it.  This makes learning to read through phonics trickier than it might be in a language with stricter pronunciation rules.  However, phonics are still &lt;a href=&quot;http://rrf.org.uk/pdf/Grant%20Follow-Up%20Studies%20-%20May%202014.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;the most effective technique&lt;/a&gt; for teaching English reading skills.  While there are many exceptions and irregularities in pronunciation, phonics can still be a highly accurate guide in many instances.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As children are first being taught phonics, the focus will be on generally short words, for which there are not so many pronunciation oddities.  One of the expectations is that, as part of this process, children will come to memorize most common words anyway.  (The instruction process may or may not have explicit lists of &quot;sight words&quot; that students should know without sounding them out.)  As children get older, they will be exposed to longer words and less common words, for which the pronunciation may not be as easily decoded using phonics.  However, by that point, they should already have basic reading ability, and at that point, other methods of learning difficult words will become more useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13162" LastActivityDate="2016-04-16T12:36:52.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24657" CreationDate="2016-04-16T19:33:40.840" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Written English is not a Phonetic language;  you need to understand that before you go any further.  As a result, while phonics are a useful aid to beginners in reading/comprehension, they will always be imperfect just like any shortcut.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you look at the etymological breakdown of English, it contains words which we can mostly trace back about equally to either a Latin, Greek or Germanic root (there are a few others as well, but those three account for over 75% of English words.)  Because Written English is not an alphabetised phonetic language each imported word retains many of the spelling rules from it's parent language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take the two words you've compared.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;code&gt;Elbow&lt;/code&gt; is an Old-English word and is rooted in the 'alinobogan' language which underpins Dutch and German but is neither.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;code&gt;Cow&lt;/code&gt; is German rooted, but only came to Britain after a great deal of change in the German language and has different spelling rules as a result.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Differences like this which occur all over the language make it&#xA;   impossible for any rule to be universal unless we threw out all our&#xA;   spelling rules and used phonetic English.  That isn't going to happen because Spoken English&#xA;   is wildly divergent; consider &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FSWlfcg6oA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Glaswegian&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmum5Pp5Rq4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Cockney&lt;/a&gt;.  If they were to write the way they speak communication would become very difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially 'synthetic phonics' is thought to be the best method currently available for teaching English and claims give a correct or 'good enough' pronunciation of around 85% of English words, plus it is relatively quick.  There is also another phonics system called Analytic Phonics which is considered slower and tends to place more emphasis on phonemes at the beginning of each word.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the 1960's an alternative system was trialled in British schools called Initial Teaching Alphabet (ITA) and it was used to teach children up to age-7.  The idea was that as children became fluent that they could read clearly and could learn the correct spellings later when they had more confidence.  While this worked for some children, for the most part &lt;a href=&quot;http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1523708.stm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;they didn't&lt;/a&gt; and there are many adults now who find spelling incredibly difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will pick up words that do not fit the phonics patterns as they go, and the teaching materials at the school are correct.  If you would like to work with your child and understand more about what they're doing then why not ask the teacher to explain what phonics system they use and how you can help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2016-04-17T12:51:40.660" LastActivityDate="2016-04-17T12:51:40.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4633" CreationDate="2016-04-17T00:53:47.917" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crush tums into powder inside a zip lock baggy using a wooden spoon to crush til it's powder. Put a pinch in baby's mouth if he or she seems to be in pain after eating. If baby calms down then you know that was likely the problem. Works like a charm for my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21884" LastActivityDate="2016-04-17T00:53:47.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24663" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-17T15:20:58.340" Score="2" ViewCount="798" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2.5-year-old son. He is very hyperactive, and somehow he thinks that beating, biting, throwing things and hurting others is a game. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He threw a toy car at me once and it hurt me badly. He threw a TV remote at my dad's face. It hurt him badly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he sees other kids, he gets excited and runs to them and keeps hitting them repeatedly. The kids run away from him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When he plays with his mom, he kicks her and hurts her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I ask him why he is doing these things, he says, “Game”. When I tell him to stop, he says, “NO”. It is really hurting other kids, and is preventing him from making friends; kids are scared of him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I change this behaviour?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-09T11:51:37.667" LastActivityDate="2019-05-09T11:51:37.667" Title="How to make a 2.5-year-old stop beating, biting and hurting others if he thinks it is a game?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|violence|socialization|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24664" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26324" CreationDate="2016-04-17T16:25:01.533" Score="3" ViewCount="414" Body="&lt;p&gt;I speak Italian while my partner speaks Korean and we speak English between us. The community language is French.&#xA;We were thinking to raise a tri-lingual child (0-years old now) with a 'One Person One Language' - 'Minority Language at Home' mixed approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In practice, to the child I would speak only Italian while my partern only Korean while keeping going to speak English between us. Do you think that the child will be able to pick up Italian like as a  speak-with-father language, Korean as a speak-with-mother language and English as a speak-with-family language?   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also note that the nanny will probably speak mostly Italian to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think that it would be more effective if I would speak English, my partner Korean and the nanny Italian?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21820" LastActivityDate="2019-04-25T08:42:17.720" Title="ML@H + OPPL = confusion?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24663" CreationDate="2016-04-17T17:01:03.193" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;A 2.5 year old doesn't have a lot of empathy, understanding of causing pain to others, or a well developed sense of values, but they do know what gets a reaction out of people and, well, it's kind of important to exert a bit of control over others sometimes. It's one way of expressing an overwhelming feeling (usually frustration) they may be having difficulty dealing with. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are not yet old enough, though, to participate in protracted discussions of how this causes pain to people, isn't good behavior, etc. so repeated conversations trying to get him to see that this isn't acceptable is likely to be unproductive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be some clues to look out for. Is he doing this when he's especially tired or overstimulated? When he's not getting something he craves? When he's with a lot of people or when not getting any attention? Looking for patterns may help you prevent the behavior in the first place with adequate rest, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, hurting people is not OK. To get this across, you need to react immediately and consistently with a consequence. He's not too young for a &quot;time out&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first son started to bite at 2.5 years, right after the birth of my second child. I tried the usual (requests, talks, admonishments, exaggerated pain, etc.) with little effect. It's only when I started to simply say, &quot;Biting is not OK. Time for a time out,&quot; and immediately remove him to his room (or the car if we were away from home) that he learned to stop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the time out, there was time to talk about what brought on that behavior, and to propose better ways of dealing with the situation. To do this, kids need to have an adequate &lt;em&gt;emotional vocabulary&lt;/em&gt;. He needs to be able to name emotions like anger, sadness, frustration, etc., before he can discuss them, and follow that with a discussion about how to deal with these emotions in a healthier way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adequate attention throughout the day, ability to express emotions, avoidance of triggers, teaching alternatives, positive reinforcement of desired behavior, and consistent consequences for hurtful behavior should be a good start.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-04-17T22:42:11.923" LastActivityDate="2016-04-17T22:42:11.923" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24666" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24670" CreationDate="2016-04-17T17:23:29.790" Score="4" ViewCount="5762" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two 7 month olds (10 month premies). One of the girls wants to turn on her belly during the night. She seems to like that better than sleeping on her back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, we heard that sudden infant deaths usually occur when babies are sleeping on their belly. So what should we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both kids can turn themselves and are starting to crawl on all fours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21883" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T12:00:14.270" Title="7 month old wants to sleep on its belly -- is it safe?" Tags="|infant|sleep|health|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24667" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-17T22:01:13.383" Score="-1" ViewCount="13713" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been with someone for almost a year now and her children have steadily been getting worse. She has three boys and their father is hit and miss in their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The oldest who is 9 lies constantly, tells his younger brothers to misbehave so they will get onto trouble. Also he yells defiantly at myself and all others. He doesn't listen when I have tried to speak to him and tell him that only bad things come from bad behavior. Lately he has learned that he can lie to his mother and that she will side first with him over me. When I say this I put him in time out by the way he screams kicks, rolls on floor etc. He then calms down. He noticed his mother left the house. As soon as that happened he grabbed his own arm and squeezed while yelling ouch and glancing at the front door waiting for his mother to come and yell at me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second child is 5. He is worse than the 9 year old. The 9 year old will throw a fit but listens most of the time but the 5 year old doesn't seem to care. He has yelled repeatedly at me telling me he hates me. Will not do anything I tell him. Does everything to my face I tell him not to do and whines and cries constantly. I have tried to do activities with him. I have even given him fun task to do to no avail. He knows he can holler ouch and his mother will come to aid him no matter what. He called me a nasty names and cussed at me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her third son just turned 4. Listens sometimes. Throws fits more than should. Disrespectful. Disobedient. Knows that he will get his way no matter what. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have told their mother that I can't take much more and I have been loosing my temper more often due to the stress of everything. It's like they want me and their mother to argue and fight. Like they just don't want me around and express that to me daily. Now I just got custody of my 2 year old son and I do not want him to emulate any of this awful behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel as though I am getting nowhere trying to communicate my concerns with their mother as she is quick to blame me for any and for everything that goes on. I am at my wit's end. I do not need the advice from any of her children or her and I don't want my son to suffer for it either. Any suggestions other than leave?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21888" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-04-19T03:49:25.920" LastActivityDate="2017-09-29T19:22:26.527" Title="My girlfriend's children are the worst acting children I have ever met" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4111" CreationDate="2016-04-17T23:13:00.680" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the most recent DSM guide used to assist physicians with diagnosis, ADD is no longer the correct term for the disorder; it is now considered to be a subtype of ADHD. So what the OP addresses is in fact ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All afflicted individuals share a core set of just a few of the known symptoms. The presence of the other ancillary symptoms vary in combination and intensity per individual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is my understanding that the current medical school curriculum contains almost no training on ADHD. Therefore, it is extremely difficult to find a medical professional possessing the requisite competence for effectively diagnosing/treating it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that said, a person's best bet for finding a good doctor is to find a local ADHD support group and ask around. The goal is to get advice from someone who has already gone through the long &amp;amp; difficult process of finding a doctor they can trust. Doing this will likely save the interested party years of suffering with the symptoms as finding the correct medication and dosage is a long process of trial and error.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do NOT dismiss the importance of medication as part of the necessary treatment plan. Medication does work, but also needs to be supplemented with therapy/coaching if at all possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're a parent, Don't deny your child the benefits of medication simply b/c you're unsure. They'll grow up to hate you for it; I know I did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21105" LastActivityDate="2016-04-17T23:13:00.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24666" CreationDate="2016-04-17T23:48:31.500" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My youngest son slept on his belly and so did my oldest daughter. I just made sure there was no pillow or loose sheets were near their faces and only allowed them to do so when their cribs were close to my bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21888" LastActivityDate="2016-04-17T23:48:31.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24666" CreationDate="2016-04-18T00:43:44.817" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When they can roll over themselves, then it's ok to let them choose their own preferred sleeping position. Just be sure to use light-weight coverings, and when you put them to bed don't pull the covers up too far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you live in a cold climate, put more clothes on the babies, rather than heavier coverings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 7 months, it's safest if the babies can comfortably and safely move around on their own. It would be unsafe to try to restrict their movement to keep them on their backs, as it may simply cause them to get more tangled in the bedding while trying to move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just like with adults, older babies need to be able to move around in their sleep, to limit pressure on any particular part of their body. This isn't such an issue for small babies, as they're typically only sleeping for a few hours at a time. However for older children, when ideally you'll want them to be sleeping through the night, it is very important that they are able to move around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T00:43:44.817" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24666" CreationDate="2016-04-18T01:45:05.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my twins did the same thing at that age. Just put them to bed on their back and if they roll over, they roll over. Not much you can really do about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21890" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T01:45:05.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24674" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24682" CreationDate="2016-04-18T04:41:56.270" Score="13" ViewCount="14734" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been having some problems ever since we had our baby boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's currently 7 months old, and he's never been an easy sleeper. So every time he resists sleep my wife will get angry and start yelling at him. The yelling is not that bad, she just raises her voice and speak/yell louder, also her face expression is very &quot;dark.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I don't agree with this yelling as I think he's too young to be yelled at. I'm not saying it's wrong to be angry at him, just that he's not old enough to understand the yelling anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are always at odds about this and keep having fights again and again and again. One thing is that her fuse was not this short before she became a mom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is is this something normal for new moms and I just have to get used to it?  I feel sad whenever we have a fight and it's becoming a regular thing that's very unhealthy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19244" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2016-04-18T15:42:58.460" LastActivityDate="2021-11-06T04:49:11.547" Title="Is it normal for wife to be angry at baby often?" Tags="|anger|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24674" CreationDate="2016-04-18T07:50:06.453" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;From experience : it can happen. there is &lt;em&gt;probably&lt;/em&gt; a mix of tiredness (especially if it happens at nights) and hormonal effects at play.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Yelling at a baby is pointless until... I can't remember but 1 year old, at the very least, I think. And yelling at anyone so they get to sleep is pointless anyway, quite the contrary, in fact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I'm away from home from 6:00 to 20:00, my wife has to manage our girl all day long, so I help by doing the evening (she does the nights also). When our girl begin to cry/yell, I get to another room, or my wife moves, so she can calm herself. Even during the day, when things get too intense, she moves to another room for a couple of minutes.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;At night time we take special care not to stimulate our kid too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T07:50:06.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2016-04-18T08:56:33.837" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You answered yourself when you mentioned she has 'autism', high functioning or not. My nephew who has a more serious level of autism also finds it hilarious when my brother gets angry at him. He seems to enjoy egging my brother on as well, almost provoking angry outbursts. Laughter, to some extent, is better than if she begins to have meltdowns herself. Best thing to do is remain calm, or at least show you're upset without becoming enraged. Keep voice poised and tell her what she did was not correct. Show her what is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21895" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T08:56:33.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24667" CreationDate="2016-04-18T09:01:50.600" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its hard to say without more detailed information, but it sounds like your girlfriend needs to change the way she deals with the children. Hence I suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1: Get her to see that there is a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2: Get her to see that she can do something about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3: Agree a course of action between yourselves and carry it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she won't back you up then nothing will change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T09:01:50.600" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24679" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-18T10:18:43.260" Score="2" ViewCount="91" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does any one have any suggestions to help a 7 year old boy be more focused and on task?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21896" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T22:40:09.310" Title="Any ideas to help a 1st grade boy be more focused and on task?" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24674" CreationDate="2016-04-18T10:36:18.483" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't sound abnormal. Kids are incredibly frustrating at every age. One of the gut punches is the 1-2 of a child acting out while simultaneously depriving you and your spouse of sleep. I think the most important thing is that as long as you don't think abuse is taking place (it doesn't sound like it), just talk to your wife so that she doesn't feel excessively guilty about not being able to get the baby to sleep, or about her own frustrated reactions. It's all to easy for a parent to put negative emotions into a feedback loop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take turns or breaks if you can, with one parent sleeping away from the baby 2-3 nights in a row. Talk to your pediatrician about it, too. They may have some good suggestions for getting everyone to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1886" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T10:36:18.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24681" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-18T13:02:05.707" Score="1" ViewCount="1965" Body="&lt;p&gt;our 5 yr old grandchild cannot tolerate being alone when at home.  Even if someone is in the next room, she has to go there. &#xA;She needs someone to read and stay with her while she goes to sleep. Can't play in her room without someone there. When asked why, she says she's afraid&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21897" LastActivityDate="2016-12-12T19:20:44.297" Title="child unable to do anything alone" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24674" CreationDate="2016-04-18T16:19:04.910" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's understandable.  Lack of sleep can make anyone cranky and 7-months of poor sleep is enough to try anyone's last nerve.  Equally, she could be struggling to cope and might need some help, possibly even medication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can't immediately tell if she has a problem and diagnosis by internet is rarely effective... but you are the best-placed person to know your wife and she seems to be getting angry enough to make you concerned it would be a good idea to try to give her some help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, it's very likely your wife needs a regular break.  Make sure she gets some 'me' time, if she has a hobby then try to encourage her to sign up to a club or regular meeting which does not revolve around children.  Even if it's not at bedtime it's amazing how a bit of time out can really help recharge the batteries.  Make sure you're doing your fair-share of things around the house too...  I can't stress that enough and do it without being prompted.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds a bit 'hippy' but at that age they're the perfect age to travel around forward-facing in a sling (I miss being able to use my &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kari-me.com/index.php/kari-me-aqua.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;traditional cloth sling&lt;/a&gt;, others are available!)   Pop them in it and go for a walk to the park or the shops - 7-month-old's love to get out into the world and see what's going on from a daddy's eye-view and you can talk about the things that are going on.  We used to love going out and you'd be amazed at the responses you get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, it's worth investigating if your wife might have post-natal depression...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The main symptoms include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;a persistent feeling of sadness and low mood &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;loss of interest in the world around you and no longer enjoying things that used to give you pleasure &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;lack of energy and feeling tired all the time &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;trouble sleeping at night and feeling sleepy during the day &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;feeling that you're unable to look after your baby &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;problems concentrating and making decisions &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;loss of appetite or an increased appetite (comfort eating) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;feeling agitated, irritable or very apathetic (you &quot;can't be bothered&quot;) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;feelings of guilt, hopelessness and self-blame &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;difficulty bonding with your baby with a feeling of indifference and no sense of enjoyment in his or her company &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;frightening thoughts – for example, about hurting your baby; these can be scary, but they're very rarely acted upon &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;thinking about suicide and self-harm &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Postnataldepression/Pages/Symptoms.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;postnatal depression symptoms (nhs.uk)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;... certainly the level of anger toward your child has been enough to make you uncomfortable, so it's worth looking out for other signs and seeking help if necessary.  Postnatal depression is very common and is absolutely not an indication of failure, and there will be plenty of local resources and support groups who can help you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Your question and profile don't indicate your location but if you want to share it then we as a community may be able to point you in the right direction.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also see:-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/21076/how-do-i-deal-with-my-wifes-violent-outbursts-around-our-child/21085?s=1|0.1820#21085&quot;&gt;How do I deal with my wife&amp;#39;s violent outbursts around our child?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T16:19:04.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8065" CreationDate="2016-04-18T19:41:39.050" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think a key point that I didn't see being touched on is, what is wrong with telling them the truth about why you want them to do or not do something.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with everyone that says, telling your kids a lie about a monster getting them or that the police will get them, will possibly lead your child to believe lying is okay to get what you  want and also possibly lead the child to see that your threats don't ever actually happen and so there is no reason to listen to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, telling your child that you would like them to be quiet because you have a headache and their loud noises are hurting you, should be quite acceptable.  Telling your child to stop jumping on the bed or they will break the bed and in turn have no bed to sleep on, should be okay.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your question is specifically asking if it's harmful in the long run and I think the only person that can truly answer that is a child psychologist.  But it most likely depends on the child.  Scaring your child with stories of monsters and ghosts could possibly encourage fears of the dark.  Like someone else mentioned above, scaring your child with stories of the police, could cause them, to in fact be scared of the police and not see them as someone to go to when their in danger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think every parent needs to find what they think is best for their specific child and their family.  The extent of your scaring will most likely determine if there will harmful effects on the child.  If you feel you must use a scare technique to get your child to properly behave, keep it to a minimum with as little scare factor as needed and stick to things that your child shouldn't be associating good feelings with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also just going to add that there are cultures that have folk stories and tales that are part of tradition to tell young children that in fact scare them into doing something beneficial to the parent or guardian.  Here is a link I found that gives some information about such folklore. &lt;a href=&quot;https://rickunioninstitute.wordpress.com/2012/12/23/stories-to-scare-children-into-behaving/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://rickunioninstitute.wordpress.com/2012/12/23/stories-to-scare-children-into-behaving/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21899" LastEditorUserId="21899" LastEditDate="2016-04-19T14:08:19.097" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T14:08:19.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24667" CreationDate="2016-04-18T19:42:07.387" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Any suggestions&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider going on a parenting course.  Webster Stratton is one which is well known and used often in the UK. In the US there's the Wonder Years programme.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://incredibleyears.com/programs/parent/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://incredibleyears.com/programs/parent/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The Incredible Years® evidence based parenting programs focus on strengthening parenting competencies and fostering parent involvement in children’s school experiences, to promote children’s academic, social  and emotional skills and reduce conduct problems. The parenting programs are grouped according to age: babies (0-12 months), toddlers (1-3 years), preschoolers (3-6 years), and school age (6-12 years).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-04-18T19:42:07.387" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18811" CreationDate="2016-04-19T01:21:36.460" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm just throwing this out there. My daughter is 5 almost 6 gets in my bed every night. She slept with me from newborn till a little after one. She is a picky little turkey but for now I just deal. However my son who is 11 months sleeps in his crib ( and has from the start). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he wakes at night, if he does I get up check binkie and still will make him a bottle. I don't hold him but instead give it you him give him a few minutes to drink and replace binkie and then take the bottle out of his crib but unless his is absolutely in distress I do not pick him up at night. I even change diaper in his crib without getting him up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the day he is played with, held often and loved a bunch but I am 3 months pregnant and we all need our sleep including him. There are ways to soothe baby without picking him up :-) I will add however I started this at 10 months when I felt he could start some self soothing. Good luck!!  And I know this conversation is long gone but just in case someone stumbles across it like I did &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21900" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-01-24T06:41:33.700" LastActivityDate="2017-01-24T06:41:33.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24686" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-19T02:27:52.060" Score="15" ViewCount="775" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of talk about securing your children's access to electronic devices, the web, etc. There are lots of scary stories about terrible things happening, no doubt many terrible things have happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, what I have not been able to find is any solid statistical data. Data showing for example a dramatic rise in non parent abduction or internet facilitated child molestation, or some of the other terrible things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there data to support this? What is the realistic risk for kids from this? Is it different for different ages and sexes? How does it compare to the other risks and channels for children to be abused in this way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I might be naive but it seems a seriously overblown threat compared to the many other dangers our children face. It strikes me as something that sells a lot of books and lectures and makes scary TV shows rather than actually being a significant threat to children. However, I would be happy to be disabused of my complacency by hard data.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anybody know of source?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And of course, if it is just one child it is terrible -- but we as parents have to carefully marshal our resources to protect our children from the serious threats while allowing them the liberty to grow and thrive and take risks on their own. When I was a kid I had free reign on a computer and it allowed me huge vistas of intellectual growth and enjoyment. Of course things were different back then, but I want my kids to have as much of that same experience as it is safe for them to have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21902" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T08:13:10.547" Title="Threat of internet predators -- how significant is it?" Tags="|safety|internet|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24210" CreationDate="2016-04-19T05:21:38.860" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've noticed there are a few different types of tantrums.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One is where the child is truly frustrated that you don't understand what they're asking for.  By default I initially try to assume it's this first.  There's no worse feeling for both child and parent than when you ignore a tantrum and they are simply frustrated because they can't tell you they want water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second tantrum I've noticed is the learned tantrum.  This is where they see another child throwing a tantrum and they copy it.  It's important of course to ignore this one completely. My daughter does this at times but it's not real intense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 3rd tantrum is the one that does not appear overnight.  It's the one YOU have taught them to do by rewarding them at the end of it. If the toddler wants to constantly be picked up, let's say, and you give in to the tantrum, then you've taught them that to get what they want, they need to throw a tantrum.  This then becomes difficult for you and the child.  Tantrums are painful for both of you.  The trap gets deeper because the parent gives in - not wanting to see the child suffer the tantrum - further reinforcing the tantrum and the cycle continues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21903" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T05:21:38.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19721" CreationDate="2016-04-19T05:35:14.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From what I've found, the only time a kid will carry on that long is because there could be a prospect of a reward at the end of it.  Have you ever given in after a long tantrum like that?  If so, even once, that is inadvertently teaching him that the tantrum is how you get what you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21903" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T05:35:14.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24686" CreationDate="2016-04-19T08:04:49.193" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is certainly a threat, however numbers are very tricky to get hold of. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having worked in the field of information security, privacy and forensics for the last 17 years or so, this is a question that gets asked of me a lot. I tend to lecture on the dangers of the internet, and then point out to the audience that I still bank online, and I use Facebook, as do my two eldest children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In reality, the threat from online predation is incredibly small - but it is so scary many people would rather err on the safe side than take that risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My take on it is similar to yours - I don't block the kids internet access, but I do have the ability to monitor it if I want, and they know that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have also sat with them through the excellent Channel 4 film, Cyberbully, starring Maisie Williams, to show them what can happen, so they have a view of possible dangers:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op2CxCp3yZc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op2CxCp3yZc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some more info, have a read of &lt;a href=&quot;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/q/8033/619&quot;&gt;https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/q/8033/619&lt;/a&gt; which gives a wider view that may be useful&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:46:42.460" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T15:02:43.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24666" CreationDate="2016-04-19T12:00:14.270" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my kids were small, accepted wisdom was that they should sleep on their stomach. This is one of those subjects where the advice keeps changing. Before they can roll over on their own, I would follow doctors advice, which currently is to lay them on their back. Once they are able to change position themselves, it would be quite inconvenient to monitor them all night and keep turning them over. As said above, don't restrict movement with tight coverings, make sure they are comfortable temperature-wise, and let them find their own sleep-position preferences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21904" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T12:00:14.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24590" CreationDate="2016-04-19T12:34:52.553" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if it would be different for a child, but in my own experience learning a second language, I found that television is great as an additional resource and to use for reinforcing what I am learning. I do also need interactive conversations for the invaluable feedback that they provide. I hope this is helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21904" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T12:34:52.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24667" CreationDate="2016-04-19T14:12:31.717" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of the keys in step parenting, as I've read elsewhere, is one-on-one time. If you think about it, the problems you describe are rooted in two or more of them and their mother ganging up against you. You've got to have an extended time with each of them alone, completely away from the others &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; away from their mother -- shopping, movie, sports, fishing, whatever. Two, three, or four against one isn't going to work. One to one gives you the upper hand in any misbehavior. Of course the idea is to get to know each other as individuals as well...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T14:12:31.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24693" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23468" CreationDate="2016-04-19T14:33:50.267" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used the baby bjorn carrier with my daughter and never had a problem.  I will say that in the summer time I just put her in a short sleeve onesie and that was it.  All babies are different though.  Your baby maybe a little bit bigger than my daughter was, when I used it and maybe his tummy rubs more on the the carrier while you're walking, causing friction on his tummy.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say to just try some different things like less clothing and see if that helps.  Maybe some talc free powder on his tummy before hand to help in keeping that area dry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also on colder days maybe try putting a jacket on him, that is easy to take off when you get inside, so that he stays warm outside in the cold, but you can take it off indoors easily.  Your body heat through the carrier should keep him pretty warm indoors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21899" LastEditorUserId="21899" LastEditDate="2016-04-19T16:24:32.770" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T16:24:32.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24694" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-19T16:14:44.507" Score="4" ViewCount="593" Body="&lt;p&gt;After a difficult marriage my elderly parents have divorced, they're in their 70's.&#xA;My sister and I are in our 40's&#xA;She seems to have forgotten how difficult our father was, and seems to blame my mother for all the problems we had, and possibly for the break up of the marriage.&#xA;We assume that's what's going on because she won't discuss any of this with us, and we're afraid of provoking a fight as her husband tells us she's &quot;working through some emotional problems&quot; around her parents divorce, it's obvious to all concerned that she's emotionally brittle, possibly staving off or recovering from a nervous breakdown. She could be difficult and seems to have inherited our fathers narcissistic personally disorder. This isn't only my opinion but is shared by friends/family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At family occasions - wider family occasions because she won't come to ours - she's frostily polite but won't speak beyond &quot;hello, lovely day&quot; etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before the break up she was a part of our sons life, and would take him out, and always made a huge fuss of him on his birthdays.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem for the last year and a half (since the divorce etc) she'll use an excuse not to come visit us, or our son. She's missed two Christmases and one birthday and our little boy knows something is wrong. He no longer gets to see his aunt or her children whom he adores, or possibly see's them once a year, as opposed to almost weekly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He knows there's something wrong, and recently got quite upset when we mentioned one of his cousins in passing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As difficult, baffling and downright frustrating as her behavior is, I know my sister is working through something and distance is the best thing we can give her right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To complicate things, our father lives with me now. he has mobility issues and can't live alone, my mother has moved out of the state.&#xA;My sister flatly refused to look after my father, and refuses to help physically or financially. My father can be a difficult man, but he is my father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recently my sister has started visiting my father, only coming when we're all out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Father will loudly describe the lovely visit he's had from his daughter and her children to my son, who understandably becomes upset. He's doing this to upset me, and claims he didn't mean to upset anyone and will child the child for getting upset over nothing (&lt;em&gt;I did say he could be a difficult man&lt;/em&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd love to remove my son from this environment, but financially that's not a realistic option. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are at a loss as to how to explain this behavior to our son. He's afraid to go on a family day out, because the last two times we took him out she called over, so he's afraid of missing her. However if we don't go out she won't call.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How to I explain her inexpiable behavior to my son?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd rather not paint anyone in this scenario as &quot;the bad guy&quot;, I would like my son to have a good relationship with his cousins when he's older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21905" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T17:29:24.563" Title="Help explain emotionally unstable Aunt to 5yr old" Tags="|relationships|mental-health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24694" CreationDate="2016-04-19T17:29:24.563" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is stopping you from explaining it to your son in more or less the same way you explained it here?  He's obviously a pretty sharp kid since he's picked up on the fact that something is wrong with his aunt.  I also assume he understands that his grandparents are divorced now.  Given that, I don't see why something like the following wouldn't work:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Well Billy, Auntie still loves you lots.  But when grandma and grandpa&#xA;  got divorced, Auntie had a hard time dealing with that.  It makes her&#xA;  sad a lot and she gets upset easily.  I'm sure she really wants to see&#xA;  you, but right now it is really hard for her.  That's why she comes to&#xA;  see grandpa when we aren't here, so she can try to feel better without&#xA;  so many people around.  When Auntie gets feeling better, you will get&#xA;  to see her and your cousins more.  Until then we just have to keep&#xA;  loving her and letting her get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure such a conversation will prompt some questions.  Try to keep the focus on the fact that his aunt is having a hard time and she needs to work on getting &quot;better&quot; and sometimes that means she needs some alone time.  It doesn't mean she doesn't love your son, just that she's hurting and needs time.  And that the best thing right now might be to give her some space.  Reassure your son that she will get better and that things will return to normal (assuming you believe this will happen).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T17:29:24.563" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24518" CreationDate="2016-04-19T17:48:12.517" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well once you start on solids you won't be producing as much milk. So don't think you will have a lot extra to send with her for cereal unless you are overproducing. In my experience, it was simple to have the food meals at home. We did pumped milk in the morning mixed with cereal for breakfast. This was milk that I had hand-expressed after the early morning nursing session. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, many nursing mothers prefer to hold off on the foods until almost a year old or older. This way they have a good milk supply for as long as baby is nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T17:48:12.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23168" CreationDate="2016-04-19T18:01:06.697" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there any way of putting the sides back on to the cribs? At this age, it's not the greatest idea to have them be able to run around. Or are they toilet trained already and need the access?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea you can try is to convince them you have a magic mommy/daddy camera that can see when they come out of bed and or do mischief. After putting them down for the night, hover just outside the curtain and at the slightest sound of movement, come back into the room and remind them that you can see everything etc..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T18:01:06.697" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24700" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24726" CreationDate="2016-04-19T20:44:14.847" Score="1" ViewCount="118" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 3 1/2 year old twin boys. One is potty trained completely except for overnight. The other is much more resistant and taking much longer to potty train during the day. The main scenario I need help with right now is that we are having a hard time getting them to potty before bed. Basically they resist going to bed as most kids do and they don't particularly like doing anything we want them to do either right now, including going to potty when we say. It is the beginning of our bedtime routine and what we do before we go back to their bedroom to change clothes and read stories, etc. Once they get in their bedroom it's pretty much okay but getting them pottied and back there is impossible now! When they know it's time for bed they just start doing silly stuff to procrastinate and they love the fact that we obviously don't have any control over the situation and know how to get them to do what we want. Any ideas?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21907" LastActivityDate="2016-04-21T19:55:25.370" Title="How to get 3 1/2 year old twin boys to go potty before bed" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|bedtime|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24700" CreationDate="2016-04-19T21:06:16.923" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your biggest problem is your statement &quot;We don't have any control.&quot;  You are the parents. You have to take the control.  Parenting is a test of wills, and you have to win.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first time, you tell them nicely to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed.  You can add a fun element by making it a game &quot;Whose going to go potty first?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next time, tell them firmly, reminding them of consequences.  Make sure your tone of voice is stern and grave. &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they don't comply, you &lt;strong&gt;physically&lt;/strong&gt; move them to the bathroom and wait for them to go.  It is crucial for you to enforce what you said.  They have to know that disobedience will always result in consequences they don't like.  I would suggest that they get no story. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can never give in.  If they whine or cry and you give in, you teach them that whining and crying gets them what they want.  Be consistent and you'll see positive results.  The first few battles will be the hardest, and will leave you wore out and frustrated.  It gets much easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6246" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T21:06:16.923" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21648" CreationDate="2016-04-19T21:51:54.273" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If everyone at the table is eating together then when everyone is done your child should either swallow or spit the food. No food after that last bite and continue your night routine. He won't starve! If you are not eating together maybe set an egg timer so he knows how long is a reasonable amount of time to eat his food. When the timer is up dinner is over, even if he is still chewing his first bite. Don't talk about it and just go on with your day. He will be hungry soon enough and will realize that there is no more food until the next meal. Eventually he will eat his food it's a phase kids go through the more attention given the more frustrated the parents will get.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21909" LastActivityDate="2016-04-19T21:51:54.273" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18691" CreationDate="2016-04-20T03:11:21.877" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1 year old is the same way. He takes a nap around 3pm wakes up around 430. He eats at 10-10:30 depending on when he wakes up, has a snack around 2 and eats after he wakes up around 4:30 then has his last meal by 9:30, and goes to bed around 11. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had to stop letting him take his evening nap about a month ago because he had way too much energy at night and it helped. He was out by 9 or 9:30. But now he has adjusted good to only 1 nap a day and he stays up late again. It doesn't bother me because I am a night owl. And I hate waking up early so at least he allows me to sleep enough. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think for now it's ok as long as your little one is getting enough sleep and isn't irritable during the day. I would try cutting out a nap though. I fear that when it's time to start school it's going to be hard to get him to go to bed early and he will be tired when it's time to wake up. I give him lots of time to run around and play but I think he just wants to stay up with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So for now as long as it isn't making things really hard on you and you and your child are getting enough sleep I don't see it as a problem. She's your child and you know what works best for your family. Don't let anyone scare you into thinking that it's harmful for her health, as long as she gets enough sleep and is functioning properly and eating and growing at a good pace I wouldn't worry! My little one is perfectly healthy and I enjoy spending the evening with him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21912" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-04-21T01:46:58.593" LastActivityDate="2018-04-21T01:46:58.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24705" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-20T03:16:50.513" Score="2" ViewCount="1407" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is almost 9 years old. I've had sole custody of him since he was 2. I have given his father chance after chance to be in his life, and everytime he has hurt my son. He is in and out of jail and on and off drugs my son's entire life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he is out of jail and living in a sober living house and now he wants to call my son. He has not tried to contact him for the past year. I talked to my son and told him his dad would like to talk to him, and he got upset and doesn't want anything to do with talking to his dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do? I don't know if I should make him talk to his dad or just leave the whole topic alone and keep living our lives? Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21911" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T22:40:18.717" LastActivityDate="2018-04-29T10:05:19.570" Title="Son not wanting to talk to his father" Tags="|single-parent|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24706" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-20T04:15:44.733" Score="6" ViewCount="643" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 13-year-old daughter. She has had a tantrum tonight after her and her sister got in a little argument. My 13-year-old daughter got to the point where she got physical with my other daughter. She then grabbed a knife and I had to take them and hide them. She went to my room, started to kick around and made a hole in my wall. She finally calmed down and fell asleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know where to get help for her as this is not her first outburst. She she's in therapy. I need answers. I feel very frustrated. I don't want her hurting any of her siblings. Could there be something wrong with her mental health? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21913" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T22:40:30.780" LastActivityDate="2018-04-29T16:43:45.463" Title="Where can I get help for my 13-year-old daughter whose tantrums get physical?" Tags="|behavior|teen|tantrums|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24707" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-20T05:21:36.143" Score="2" ViewCount="1051" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is six years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We got him admitted at school when he was 3 &amp;amp; half, and he was so excited to go to school from the very first day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He never bothered us for going to the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He used to wake up by himself in the morning no matter how late he slept at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But suddenly he doesn't like school any more &amp;amp; says that school timing is too long for him. I understand that now he is in KG-1, so his studies are getting tough gradually, so obviously a bit pressure on him. He starts yelling, crying in the morning if we try to wake him us and some times even hits his mom. It is a drastic change I can see in him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes we make fake telephone calls in the morning at his friend's home &amp;amp; that creates a little interest in him to go to school, but now this idea is also not working any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was so tough on him this morning and I hit him with a stick. Because today is the first day that he did not go to school not even after getting beaten up. He says his friends are not coming to school regularly so it's no big deal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually never say no to him, whatever he asks for, day by day he is becoming too demanding. Sometimes he wants to buy unnecessary things that he even do not touch after bringing at home, he just buy it for the sake of buying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have another son, 2 &amp;amp; half years old. I am really worried and today i just gave up on my hopes, maybe somewhere, something is wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother lives with us. My son takes full advantage of my mother's affection for him, since grandparents are really soft for in heart for kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need your advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21915" LastEditorUserId="14742" LastEditDate="2018-02-28T18:28:58.477" LastActivityDate="2018-02-28T18:28:58.477" Title="Suddenly my six years old son lost interest for going to school" Tags="|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24705" CreationDate="2016-04-20T14:00:56.787" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems like your son has a valid reason to be upset. Maybe if his dad demonstrates changed behavior over a long period of time, your son will be ready when he's older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21918" LastActivityDate="2016-04-20T14:00:56.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24705" CreationDate="2016-04-20T15:59:27.593" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son has been hurt by your ex.  It is completely understandable that he doesn't want to interact with someone who has caused so much pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relationships don't come equipped with a magic reset button.  Just because your ex has made some changes in his life doesn't mean he gets a pass from your son for the last 7 years.  He has lost your son's trust.  If he wants it back, he has to earn it.  The problem comes when your son won't interact with your ex to give him a chance to regain that trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe in trying to forgive others, especially when people are trying to make amends.  That being said, forgiveness isn't always easy, especially for deep hurt over a long time.  As such, your son may not be ready to forgive your ex just yet.  So don't force him to talk to your ex.  He's not likely to see those interactions in a positive light if he feels forced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do have a choice here, though.  You know your ex.  You know if these changes seem genuine and if they are likely to last.  You can evaluate if a relationship between your son and your ex is likely to be a good thing or just another setup for pain and disappointment.  If you feel that your ex has made real changes and that such a relationship would be worthwhile, you can work to help your son begin to forgive and give his father another chance.  Talk to your son about the changes you've seen in your ex.  Let your ex have some indirect contact (birthday cards, letters, etc.).  Help him to see that your ex is becoming a better person and can be a positive person in his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are feeling brave, you may want to talk to your son about the pain he feels because of his father.  Talk about how he feels, what he's most upset about.  It's not going to be a happy conversation.  But letting all that out with you (someone he feels safe with, in a safe setting) will help him to heal.  Keeping it bottled up inside won't allow forgiveness to happen.  And even if he never feels ready to forgive his father, talking about it will help him come to terms with it.  He will learn how to accept it and overcome it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, both you and your ex need to realize that this isn't going to happen overnight.  It will probably take some time for your son to warm up to the idea and to forgive and heal.  Just be patient and encouraging, but don't force it.  I wish all three of you the best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-04-20T15:59:27.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24712" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="920" CreationDate="2016-04-20T18:41:19.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this is an old question, but I really wanted to share my experience.  My daughter in the 1-2 years range had separation anxiety as well.  She would cry and cling to me whenever I would leave and would start worrying if I left the room and she didn't know where I went.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another parent gave me an idea to try and I did and it worked very well for us.  The idea was to say goodbye to your child and tell them that you would be back.  If I was in the house I would tell her I had to use the restroom or whatever else it was that I needed to do, and would be right back.  When I was done I would go back to her and say &quot;I'm back&quot;.  Then when I had to leave her with someone else and actually physically leave the same building as her such as going to work I would tell her what I was going to go do and that I would be back later.  Then when I was back to pick her up I would tell her &quot;I'm back&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this wasn't perfect on the first few instances, but over time the crying and the worrying got less and less.  She started to say goodbye with me always saying &quot;mommy be back&quot;.  She came to trust that when I went away I would eventually come back.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The cartoon Daniel Tiger's neighborhood has a very good episode on separation anxiety in children.  It features a song the Tiger parents sing to their Tiger cub about how grownups come back. Here is a link to a youtube video of the song.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVcFOUYIvWs&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVcFOUYIvWs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter loves singing the little tunes from this cartoon and they have lots of them that help with all sorts of parenting challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21899" LastActivityDate="2016-04-20T18:41:19.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24713" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24705" CreationDate="2016-04-20T19:33:24.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might try allowing contact via email (or &quot;snail&quot; mail), a way which is safer and hopefully less threatening for your son than face to face or a phone conversation.  Maybe you could invite your ex to write your son an email (through one of your addresses so you could monitor what is going on) and if your son eventually wants to write back (don't give him the impression that you expect it) you can let him do so (still using your email address).  The nice thing about emails is it gives your son more control over the contact (he can choose not to read right away, and later change his mind, there is no pressure to answer immediately, if at all, etc).  Don't give your ex any strong expectations that his emails will be answered, but invite him to share his current life with his son.  It might be a good idea to ask him to keep it light at first (day to day activities, funny things that happened to me, reminiscing and questions about people they both know) until a relationship has been established.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will give your ex the outlet, to make him feel that he is reaching out to his son, but allow for the fact that your son may not want to participate at all.  At least not right away.  You might even print your ex's emails and leave them someplace where he could read them &quot;when you're older, if you want to&quot;.  That way if he wants to sneak a peak but not admit to doing so, he could.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-04-20T19:33:24.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24707" CreationDate="2016-04-20T20:22:24.660" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You didn't mention what country you are from.  Here in the US, it is quite common and usual to see a therapist when you or your children are having behavior problems.  Since you say he said &quot;his friends are not coming regularly&quot;, and from the way you phrase things, I suspect you will not be in the US, so I don't know what your feelings are about therapy or if it is even available to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you might do is speak to his teachers.  Find out how he is doing in school.  Is there something that happens there that he is afraid of?  He may have told you that school was &quot;too long&quot; because he didn't want to say what the real problem is.  If something is happening at school that is worse than being beaten with your stick, you should be responsible to find out what it is and help him deal with it.  If my son were to suddenly object so violently to going to school after looking forward to it, I would strongly guess he is afraid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you cannot determine that there is anything bad at school, and it is just very hard for him, it might be that he has some sort of learning difficulty that makes school extra frustrating.  This is also a case where his reactions may be based on fear.  Children fear failure.  Here is another area that his teachers could help you with.  Ask them for things that you might do to help your son learn.  Then, this is an opportunity to turn a disadvantage (grandmother with soft heart) into an advantage (tell her that her grandson needs her help with his learning and see if she will help).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can figure no other answer except that he does not like school, it is common knowledge that positive incentives work much better than negative ones.  That means offering him rewards for good performance works much better than striking him for bad.  You say &quot;I usually never say no to him&quot;.  Maybe now is a good time to do this.  Rewards work better if they are not already getting everything they want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Remember, this is only if you have not found that he has a good reason for not wanting to go to school)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sit him down and tell him, &quot;I am sorry, but since you do not want to go to school any more, I cannot buy you any more special treats.  There is a special deal between parents and children.  The children go to school, and they are given treats by parents.  From now on, you will have to earn your treats.&quot;  Come up with a reward system.  For example, each day that he goes to school he gets 5 points.  If he goes without fussing, he gets an extra 5 points.  When he gets reports from his teachers, reward him for doing well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not give in to the temptation to give him treats if he does not earn them.  It will also be difficult to get your mother to not &quot;sneak&quot; him rewards; maybe you can get her help in coming up with things which will earn him rewards, or which he can spend his rewards on.  This will make her a partner with your intentions, rather than an obstacle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is better not to offer him rewards in terms of money, that way you can adjust his rewards to make things that are fun but good for him (healthy treats, fun things that don't cost a lot of money) less expensive than things which he likes but which are not good (candy, expensive toys that he doesn't need).  For example, when my son asked for an apple in the store, I &quot;charged&quot; him one point, but a candy bar was fifteen points, even though both cost the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may feel angry at the thought that you must &quot;pay&quot; him for things which he should be doing without reward, and I completely understand (I felt the same way at first, with my son) but anger is not productive and is quite harmful in any relationship.  The thing you must ask yourself is &quot;what is important&quot;?  If it is important to you that your son's behavior gets better, then please try this.  It worked very well for me and is unlikely to cause harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-04-20T20:36:53.950" LastActivityDate="2016-04-20T20:36:53.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24715" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24707" CreationDate="2016-04-20T21:32:55.023" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is some simple advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;1) Don't give up on your kids ever.  This is doubly important at&#xA;  younger ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I never knew how little children understand until I had my own and my wife taught me.  That leads me to number 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;2)  Learn about children, their deveopmental level, and how to&#xA;  interact with them.  Find a class at a community center, church, or&#xA;  read online (being with people is best in my opinion).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because children don't understand things the way we do we can get easily frustrated with them.  However this brings me to point 3.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;3)  Don't beat or hit children just because you are frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We all get that overwhelmed feeling with our children at times.  When you are angry is the exact wrong time to use physical punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as an opinion, I offer this.  As a parent you need to be a role model and authority figure for your children.  At the same time you hopefully want to build a relationship of trust and love.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not smart and so I try to think of how I act with my children in that simple way - authority and love.  I try to balance my actions and think of them in those 2 simple categories.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope that gives you a little help and encouragement.  Those two little lives will be greatly impacted by the effort and care you put into them!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2016-04-20T21:32:55.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24718" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24412" CreationDate="2016-04-21T03:06:32.013" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is totally normal!  3 to 4 year-olds don't think about going until they absolutely can't hold it in anymore.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Preschool puts a lot of pressure on parents to get their kids toilet trained, but the reality is, most kids at this age will have accidents, and that is normal.  (One day i even discovered our preschool had a secret stash of diapers!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good preschool should be prepared to deal with accidents.  Also, I noticed our preschool took kids to the bathroom literally every hour.  You can also implement this kind of regimen at home until the accidents stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is to support your child and keep helping them learn. Don't think about it as a &quot;problem&quot;.  And don't make them feel bad about having accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And just keep reminding yourself that eventually your child will grow up and figure it out!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11922" LastEditorUserId="11922" LastEditDate="2016-05-14T23:26:45.837" LastActivityDate="2016-05-14T23:26:45.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24719" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6762" CreationDate="2016-04-21T12:28:11.710" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children can learn multiple languages without problems from an early age if they have to. The don't learn as many as you want.. they learn as many as they have to. With my son who Swedish and English bilingual living in UK he didn't start to speak Swedish back to me until he met Swedish little friends on holiday in Sweden and they couldn't understand what he said when he spoke English. He was then 3 and that is the time he started to speak Swedish. Before then he understood me but didn't want to speak the language. Best thing is to introduce your son to friends that only speak English and not Portuguese. Has he got English family you can visit? The advantage you have here is that English is one of the biggest languages in the world so it could be quite easy to find some English people living in Portugal who doesn't speak Portuguese at all. For me it was harder to convince the Swedes not to ever speak any English back to him or even pretend not to understand what he said in English. That is why it is so important for him to play with mono lingual Swedish children. Find English monolinguals to hang out with would be the easiest and quickest way for him to understand the importance of English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21926" LastActivityDate="2016-04-21T12:28:11.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10783" CreationDate="2016-04-21T14:08:23.650" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Why do boys love trains and cars so much?&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Biology.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Science has discovered a link between hormones and toy preferences. Boys prefer toys with mechanical/moving stimuli while girls prefer toys with social stimuli. The reason for this difference is the different levels of hormones - primarily androgen - coursing through the bodies of boys and girls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can read more about this here:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/homo-consumericus/201212/sex-specific-toy-preferences-learned-or-innate&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/homo-consumericus/201212/sex-specific-toy-preferences-learned-or-innate&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The smoking gun is this though. Girls with abnormally high levels of androgens (via CAH) prefer to play with boy toys. Boys with abnormally low levels of androgens prefer to play with girl toys. If culture were truly the motivating factor here, this would not be true.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12414881&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12414881&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21927" LastActivityDate="2016-04-21T14:08:23.650" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24721" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-21T15:34:57.323" Score="7" ViewCount="1435" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Kindergarten I remember learning to write the print alphabet in a non-alphabetical order. Later, in 2nd grade, we also learned script out of order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason for this was that we were learning letters with common structures. For instance, I believe we first learned letters that had only straight parts: T, t, L, l. Then more complex shapes were added, with curves, such as B, b. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With cursive, it was the same thing, first learning letters with with basic loops, like  &amp;amp; .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that this was 25 years ago, I don't remember the exact order these were done it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know there was a purpose behind it, and I've found this &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.hwtears.com/hwt/why-it-works/teaching-order&quot;&gt;Handwriting Teaching Order&lt;/a&gt; page, but it only loosely explains why the method works. Unfortunately, I can seem to find the right keywords to find scholarly articles on this subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In response to @Erica, some workbooks from more reputable companies base the their order on types of lines used. Free stuff I find is in alpha order. But the structured order isn't consistent, and I'm not sure how much difference it makes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I'm interested in research-based information expert advice from educators or parents that have taught handwriting at home in a structured format&lt;/strong&gt; regarding whether or not certain teaching orders are more effective than others, possibly regarding the acquisition of different fine motor skills or progressing through more complex letter construction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking at this information as we're teaching our 3-year-old letter construction, and are trying to develop a long-term plan for progressing through the alphabet. &lt;strong&gt;Although we'll start with print, I would like information both print and script.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-04-21T17:32:55.013" LastActivityDate="2016-04-22T01:34:39.393" Title="What is an effective order to teach writing the alphabet?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|homeschooling|handwriting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24722" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2016-04-21T15:36:18.710" Score="0" Body="" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-04-21T15:36:18.710" LastActivityDate="2016-04-21T15:36:18.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24723" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2016-04-21T15:36:18.710" Score="0" Body="Handwriting focuses on teaching, practicing, and improving a child's handwriting skills and legibility. Additionally, it could refer to improving fine motor skills directly related to strengthening their ability to write effectively." OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-04-21T15:36:18.710" LastActivityDate="2016-04-21T15:36:18.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24724" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24733" CreationDate="2016-04-21T16:23:19.347" Score="3" ViewCount="1026" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10yo nephew who is obsessed with violence. It's all he talks about. He asks me and my father things like;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I had a gun and you had a knife, could you kill me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I start doing weights now, would I be like the hulk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where is the best place to shoot someone?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to live in a fantasy world, as me and my father have noticed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He &lt;em&gt;doesn't&lt;/em&gt; seem to have a dark side, he's always playing with my daughters or playing &lt;code&gt;Call of Duty: Black Ops&lt;/code&gt; when I see him on the weekends. He watches You Tube a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is very skinny and I don't think he has a lot of friends in school. He hates school, he hates his teacher. He says she picks on him for no reason. Which could be true as my sister has had personal problems with her and the school. He gets bullied at least a bit. There is one big boy who gets mentioned a lot, they have fought at least twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has never had a father really, I think he looks to my father and me for guidance, but I don't see him that much. When I do see him, maybe once a week, he is really excited to see me and he usually has something violence-related to ask or tell me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother, who sees him a lot more than me, brushes it off with &amp;quot;It's just a boy thing&amp;quot;. But I'm not sure and I'm worried he is influencing my daughters, one of which is two years younger than him and play-fights with him all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have talked with my mother about sending him to Karate lessons to give him some discipline and a taste of real-world defense fighting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is encouraging the fighting with Karate the right thing to do?&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Should I be worried about him and possibly my daughters?&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;or is this normal behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19113" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2017-03-15T11:15:16.900" Title="Should I worry About My 10yo Nephew's Interest in Violence?" Tags="|behavior|middle-childhood|emotional-well-being|violence|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24725" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-21T19:07:37.280" Score="3" ViewCount="2007" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sammy has always been scared of monsters ever since he was around 2, but now his imagination of creating this monster is getting out of control. He rarely sleeps in his own bed, he has to sleep with me at night. He makes me check his room every night for monsters, and runs into my room and night telling me that &quot;its after him.&quot; Last week I was in the house and Sam came running in screaming &quot;he's trying to get me&quot; it freaked me out thinking someone was after my son I looked around but I couldn't see anything. Im starting to worry for his safety is this a monster he has created or is this a real person.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20983" LastActivityDate="2016-04-22T20:58:06.147" Title="My 6 year old is terrified of monsters is this normal?" Tags="|primary-schooler|safety|bedtime|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24700" CreationDate="2016-04-21T19:55:25.370" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things that can help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Always take them to the potty at the same part of the routine. For us it's Potty-&gt;Brush Teeth-&gt;Read-&gt;Bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't get angry or raise your voice, calmly take them in and have them sit on the potty. Don't worry about them going, just get them in the habit of doing it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Praise them when they go, and give them a sticker. My son announces that he needs a sticker before he even sits down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't break the routine for anything, once you have it established you want them to think that routine is part of life.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10081" LastActivityDate="2016-04-21T19:55:25.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24721" CreationDate="2016-04-22T01:34:39.393" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should keep in mind that children, especially very young children, learn best when directed by their own interests and their own individual abilities.  A lot of what might be considered a best practice when teaching a group of children simply isn't applicable in an individual setting.  My personal opinion, based on observing my daughter learn to write, is that letter writing order is one of those areas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We started homeschooling my son after he had learned to write the alphabet during a year of public school, but my daughter never had any schooling outside the home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very first thing she wanted to learn to write is her own name.  Based on my observations of other children, I think this is almost universal.  This desire was highly motivational for her.  Teaching her the letters in her own name first ensured that motivation continued to come from her and not from her parents.  Next she wanted to write the names of family members, and we gladly obliged by teaching her those letters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later, she wanted to practice &quot;all the letters,&quot; so one time I printed out a practice sheet containing one row each of dotted letters to trace over.  She happily did most of them and, to my great fascination, she crossed out the ones she &quot;didn't need.&quot;  She recognized those letters were too difficult for her developmentally at the moment, and simply chose to delay learning to write them.  I don't recall what order she learned them, and I couldn't fathom the reasons if I tried, but my point is the order was the right order for &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;.  During this entire time, the motivation to take the next step always came from &lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;.  She learned much more happily, easily, and quickly than her brother did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a classroom, teachers have to pick an order that's going to work for a majority of the students, but may not be &lt;em&gt;individually&lt;/em&gt; best for all of them.  You don't have that constraint, so don't artificially limit yourself.  Start learning to pay attention to the individual learning cues your child is giving you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2016-04-22T01:34:39.393" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11631" CreationDate="2016-04-22T10:57:07.303" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 24 month old son won't sit in the bath anymore, he loves the water and still enjoys swimming but when I try and get him to sit in the bath he goes hysterical. It all started a few weeks ago when for the first time ever he had a poo in the bath and it seemed to really frighten him. I've started giving him showers instead but feel sad as he used to spend a good 45 mins playtime in the bath with his toys and now he's in and out. I'm hoping in time he will be ok again, and the showers are working fine. From what I've read he's not alone, anyone having issues just needs to find an alternative that suits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21932" LastActivityDate="2016-04-22T10:57:07.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24732" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24724" CreationDate="2016-04-22T16:29:03.907" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;To answer one of your questions:&#xA;Yes Karate is the right thing to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the main principles of Karate is control. You learn that through Karate you have real skills to hurt people and it is your responsibility to not abuse that power. A good Karate teacher should go over how wrong it would be to use your (as in your nephew) skills to harm someone who could not defend themselves from you. It is first and foremost a method of &lt;em&gt;defense&lt;/em&gt;, not attack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO this would be a great outlet and would probably help him make some new friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-04-22T16:29:03.907" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24724" CreationDate="2016-04-22T19:54:02.603" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd probably recommend Tai Chi over karate, but you should try out different styles and see if anything &quot;clicks&quot; with him.  If he is reluctant, show him the recent remake of the Karate Kid.  I'd imagine he would be able to identify with the protagonist, and it might motivate him, as it has enough &quot;violence&quot; to appeal to him, but the message of the movie doesn't glorify violence and if it can get him to want to learn from a good instructor it will help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry too much about the violence aspect yet.  Kids go through stages and as long as you can channel his obsession with violence into healthier outlets you shouldn't need to worry.  My son is currently obsessed with WWII and soldiers and Nazism and has decided he wants to go into the military.  That got started because we started watching Hogan's Heroes, so his idea of what war and Nazis are is decidedly unrealistic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of my nieces and nephews went through &quot;we wanna hit each other with sticks&quot; phases, inspired by Star Wars and anime movies.  My husband, who has had a lot of fencing and bokken training would take them out in the back yard with 3-foot lengths of PVC pipe wrapped with thick insulation and duct tape, and teach them the mechanics of sword fighting, including lessons on safety and sportsmanship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is being bullied at school, of course he is going to fantasize about a world where he is strong and tough and in control.  This is normal, and is no unhealthier than a world where kids are bullied and have no advocates in the teachers who should be looking out for that.  I'm sorry your son's school isn't doing a better job.  The school my kids went to was outstanding in that regard.  Zero tolerance for intolerance, and &quot;bully awareness&quot; in every grade.  I took every opportunity I could to tell them how much I appreciated the job they were doing.  Both my husband and I suffered a great deal of bullying in our childhoods because the schools were either ignorant or indifferent to the problem, and we are both so grateful that our children are being spared that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What may make the difference between raising a child whose personality develops in reaction to being bullied (and we've all seen the possible results of that, plastered all over the media), and one who has a healthier perspective, is what steps you take to give your son the opportunity to control his environment as it affects him in regard to violence and other threats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to his teachers, maybe they will be able to make changes that will make him feel safer.  If it were me I'd start with the principal and ask him what measures were in place to deal with bullying in school.  If he has a good answer, make sure your son knows what help is available to him.  If there is nothing in place to help him, raise h**l.  You are, and must be, your son's greatest advocate.  There is no excuse for a school which doesn't address this issue.  None.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Training in martial arts can also be a game changer.  As long as you get a good instructor.  If you haven't seen the Karate Kid (2010 version) I'd recommend it...it has some great examples of both good and bad instructors.  Exaggerated of course, but you have to exaggerate a bit with kids :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from the self discipline and physical and martial training, one benefit kids can get from martial training is that it reduces the trauma of physical violence.  Children who grow up tussling with their siblings have healthier attitudes about and reactions to physical conflicts.  There's a good article about that here: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/roughhousing-aggressive-or-constructive-behaviour/&quot;&gt;http://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/roughhousing-aggressive-or-constructive-behaviour/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If kids don't have access to that kind or outlet, martial arts may supply an alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-04-22T20:00:10.443" LastActivityDate="2016-04-22T20:00:10.443" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24725" CreationDate="2016-04-22T20:33:25.983" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If this was a sudden development and he had never spoken of monsters before I'd be more worried about the possibility that there is actually something threatening your son, but if his imagination has always generated monsters I'd be inclined to suspect the threat is in his imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Monsters&quot; can become very real to kids, and once that reality takes hold in their heads it can grow.  You need to find something that makes your son feel safe, and make sure he takes it to bed with him.  Imaginary monsters can be fought with the imagination.  A friend of mine had a son who had a similar situation.  He had nightmares and was convinced that monsters came into his room at night.  I bought him a &quot;monster zapper&quot; gun that I saw in a toy store and gave it to him, without any real hope that it would help.  Apparently that worked really well.  Because it would light up when the monster was zapped it made the shadows disappear and so the monster would seem to disappear.  He kept score on a white board of how many monsters he had killed and he actually started looking forward to bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try a soft lights in different colors.  I found pink was a really good color for my daughter; it made her room seem &quot;warmer&quot;.  My son, who also suffers from nightmares and anxieties, goes to sleep with soft music. (I personally like Enya for soothing, but he finds pop more comforting.  Go figure)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is that you should accept his fears (in a low-key way) and use psychological judo on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...okay, if monsters are real then so is the power of this monster zapper&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...did you know that monsters can't stand the color pink?  If your room is full of pink light they don't dare come out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point he &quot;knows&quot; that monsters are real.  If you deny it, his fears will overcome your authority factor and he will conclude that you just don't &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; about the monsters.  If you engage with his imagination, then he will believe you know what you are talking about when you tell him that pink light makes monsters dissolve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a few cute ideas: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikihow.com/Eliminate-Monsters-Under-the-Bed&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.wikihow.com/Eliminate-Monsters-Under-the-Bed&lt;/a&gt;, although I could see the &quot;monster spray&quot; getting out of hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today's Parent has a great suggestion: if your child is afraid of something, you introduce a friendly version. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/kids/development/behavioral/understanding-kid-fears/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parents.com/kids/development/behavioral/understanding-kid-fears/&lt;/a&gt; Has he seen Monsters, Inc?  Does he know that children are poisonous to monsters?  If not, sit down and watch it with him.  Discuss it with him, relating to the monsters that he has in his room.  You might get him a large Sully doll or poster to ride herd on the other monsters.  Once Sully takes up residence, Randall and his buddies won't be allowed in the room.  Or what about squirt bottle with people juice in it; he could dribble in a little spit.  (Yeah, I know that's gross, but it's all the more &lt;em&gt;potent&lt;/em&gt; that way :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give him the tools to use his imagination to protect him from himself.  Discuss with him monster scaring and how it might be done and what he needs to set it up.  Giving him control over the process will enhance his confidence and make him feel safer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I developed my own &quot;monster protection&quot; when I was a youngster.  I remember nothing of this, but apparently when I was about three or four we lived in a house with a very loud furnace that used to go off and startle me awake.  That was when I developed a terror of the dark that followed me even into high school.  My rational mind knew it was completely in my imagination, but that did nothing to stop the feeling of primal and uncontrollable terror that would ambush me when I found myself alone in the dark.  So I decided that I would fight imagination with imagination.  I would visualize myself with &quot;powers&quot; that could banish any threat, and I told myself &quot;logically, either monsters and power exist, or they don't.  If they don't, who cares?  But if they do, then my powers are stronger than any monster.  I would go out walking in the orchard at night, daring the monsters to come out so I could blast them. (did I mention that as a child I had a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; vivid imagination? :)  Eventually, it was habit that banished the monsters, and both monsters and &quot;powers&quot; have vanished from my thoughts (except in my fantasy novels)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about him feeling that you have &quot;deceived&quot; him, he'll figure it out when he grows up.  If he even remembers.  The only way he'll feel you have lied to him is if you turn on the pink light and the monsters really do come out from under the bed...and then you've both got bigger problems than a little pink lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-04-22T20:58:06.147" LastActivityDate="2016-04-22T20:58:06.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3374" CreationDate="2016-04-23T03:01:17.797" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;How long you will need a stroller definitely depends on your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids are 15 months apart. I used a double stroller daily until my youngest turned three and my oldest turned four, because someone usually fell asleep in the car or was too much in need of food or sleep to walk cooperatively. Also, I always had something extra to carry around: groceries, library books, diaper bag, etc., and had no hands to carry one of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also found that prior to age 3 and 4, they would not stay together if we tried to go to the mall or the zoo without a stroller. With the stroller they would stay together. The stroller also gave them a reference point;  for example, once done exploring one store I would say, &quot;Ok back in the stroller,&quot; they would oblige, and we would stroll on to the next place. In some instances where they would both run off in different directions, the stroller allowed me to grab the closest one, put them in the stroller, and run after the other one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21937" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-04-23T17:41:03.400" LastActivityDate="2016-04-23T17:41:03.400" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24590" CreationDate="2016-04-23T19:18:25.537" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my own experience, television does enhance the learning of a new language. But of course, it does have its limits, one can learn to speak and understand a language by means of television, but it might be hard to get some writing skills that way. It certainly doesn't hurt to start an interest in a new language with the TV. I've been watching movies and series in a foreign language subtitled in my native language, which helped me to associate the words and their meanings in the two languages while watching and reading the subtitles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll most probably wouldn't mind to apply this technique with my child, as our goal is to have him speak more than 2 languages, so this might be one of the sources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21935" LastActivityDate="2016-04-23T19:18:25.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21469" CreationDate="2016-04-23T20:09:07.740" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I use the ¨white noise¨ technique when there are outbursts of unstoppable crying from my 3 months old. Just a few seconds of any white noise sound from my cellphone (there are applications with lots of sounds available) helps to calm the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21935" LastActivityDate="2016-04-23T20:09:07.740" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24686" CreationDate="2016-04-24T01:59:38.063" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The internet is an increasingly large part of our everyday lives, being a major platform for media, entertainment, and communication, and providing an enormous ecosystem for business and jobs. Because of this, children should learn to use the internet from an early age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An important and almost defining characteristic of internet communities is the anything-goes culture created by anonymity. To stay safe on the web, it is imperative to develop a mindset of assuming as little as possible and treating all interactions as potentially threatening. Children on the internet must fundamentally understand the hostile nature of the internet and adopt this mindset. This is achieved not by locking them out of major areas of the internet, but rather guiding them thru how to use the internet properly and safely, then trusting the child to learn on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most threats on the internet aren't due to child predators. They are do much more often to much more mundane social engineering attacks. Children must be used to all kinds of manipulative tactics that are used in advertising, scam schemes, fear mongering, to get malware installed, or just to mine reddit karma. Due to the relative scarcity of child predator attacks to these similar, but more mundane and easily exploitable attacks, the risk of child predators can be neglected in favor of risk management efforts that address the bigger picture. Being careful on the internet is important for everyone, but it's because of the many factors &lt;em&gt;besides&lt;/em&gt; child predators.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9608" LastActivityDate="2016-04-24T01:59:38.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24745" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-24T09:38:19.847" Score="2" ViewCount="415" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's very hard for me to have a relaxed talk with my son - 12 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does not like talking and if he does he is playing with his fingers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This drives my crazy and it makes me afraid. I tell him friendly to stop it, he does it, and some seconds later his fingers grab the next thing and they play around again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is like one brain part is talking with me, and the other brain part is on feeling-adventure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general he is well and not ill. Most other areas (friends and school) are like most other boys in his age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to prefer military dialogues: Command and short reply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;.... but I don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's very hard for him to explain the story of a video he saw. He is not stupid, he knows the story, but telling the overall story in two sentences is very hard for him. And if he tries his fingers and hands start to play and move...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question: Is there a name for this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Question: Is there a training to improve the ability to focus 100% on the communication?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And guess what: He likes math and hates languages at school :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please ask if you don't understand something. I am not a native speaker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21944" LastEditorUserId="21944" LastEditDate="2016-04-24T15:17:54.403" LastActivityDate="2016-04-24T16:04:39.440" Title="Restless fingers while speaking" Tags="|pre-teen|communication|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24746" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24792" CreationDate="2016-04-24T12:31:53.093" Score="4" ViewCount="115" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first child made the connection between reading and practicing letters, and loved getting anybody and everybody to help practice letters (girl at 4, now 6). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My second child (boy at 4) is keen about reading, but doesn't see practicing letters as a priority - and thinks it is boring. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to make it interesting. I want him to make the connection between practicing letters and reading. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;How do I get my child engaged with practicing letters?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2016-05-01T11:57:55.600" Title="How do I get my child engaged with practicing letters?" Tags="|reading|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24745" CreationDate="2016-04-24T12:51:32.610" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry, I don't know a name for this behaviour, but rest assured, your son is probably very much focussed on your conversation. Those seemingly distracted movements actually may &lt;em&gt;help&lt;/em&gt; him to focus. This is a similar mechanism as doodling (random drawing) while talking on the telephone or other people absentmindedly tapping their foot. Basically an outlet for some pent-up energy and something happening on a subconscious level. That is why it's so incredibly hard to &lt;em&gt;stop&lt;/em&gt;: it is not something he actively chooses to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having lived for decades with a partner with the same quirk and now a son who follows in his footsteps big time, I know how distracting this behaviour can be, but I also learned the hard way that they can't really control it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is important that he realizes that there are scenarios, like a presentation at class, where he should at least try to keep it under control or pick a suitable object to manipulate (hint: &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a ballpoint pen, the click-click will drive everyone mad), but in everyday conversations, let him be. The more pressure you put on him, the worse it will get and the more relaxed he is, the less will the fingers dance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-04-24T12:51:32.610" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24745" CreationDate="2016-04-24T16:04:39.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Question: Is there a name for this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes; generally it's just called fidgeting. People do it for different reasons; maybe they're bored, maybe they have high energy and they're restless being still, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Is there a training to improve the ability to focus 100% on the communication?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For whom? I assume you mean the child, but are you focusing 100% on the communication, or are you focusing on the fidgeting he's doing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not my intention to bring you up short. I'm only hoping to point out that interactions are a two-way street between &lt;em&gt;different people&lt;/em&gt;. It's easy to be distracted by things your son is doing, and it's easy to interpret this as him not giving you his full attention, but you don't know what's going on in his head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't force your son to keep his hands still, or to be more descriptive than he wants to be. You can ask for these things, but before you do, please consider what effect this will have. It important that your son knows &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; he answers is less important than what he says/thinks, and that how &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; feel when he answers is not more important than how he feels. So, maybe asking only when something is really important to you is better than trying to bring this behavior under better control the majority of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know people who don't like making eye contact even during superficial conversations. My job isn't to change them, it's my job to manage my end of the conversation. Of course, if it were my child, I would want the best for them, and would want them to learn to be comfortable making more eye contact. So I would encourage eye-contact, because I equate it with more successful social interactions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It turns out that one of my adult kids is like that. And I did try to get him to make more eye-contact. And I was wrong. He is a very successful kid in every respect (and this isn't just the mother in me speaking.) Even with his less-than-my-ideal amount of eye contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But yes, there probably are a lot of things you can do to get him to be more attentive during conversations. But he has to be motivated to change. That's a lot harder to figure out, as is who benefits the most from trying to change a good kid's behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand this difficulty you're having, trust me. I really do, and I sympathize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;When he's talking about things he's very interested in, does he talk more and fidget less?&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-04-24T16:04:39.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24749" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4142" CreationDate="2016-04-24T18:17:04.580" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From personal experience i am worried that some responses to this type of question could have trouble in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;the behavior does occur in both male and female toddlers of the 2-5 years old range. and in fact there is a YouTuber who vlogs daily with a son about 4 years old... while mom/dad are vloging, he will change his clothes and often be seen in background of vlog going to/from his room and sometimes in a state of undress.... usually his underwear but they will need to be extra vigilant in the editing room just in case there is an accidental child porn clip happening in the background while mom and dad are talking about the blueberry pancakes they had for breakfast... (I really LOLed when they mentioned this happening)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;how you handle the behavior can affect the child for the rest of their life due to their brains are learning what is right and wrong while they see your reaction and actions due to this behavior... one mother said &quot;Pick you battles, this isn't one to have a war over&quot; and with the small exception of the risk of a naked kid being posted to youtube, i agree... no harm no foul.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But also be careful to not over indulge. by setting rules the child learns that actions have consequences... one mother had her daughter put the clothes in special hamper placed in the childs room which the mother then placed the clothes back into childs closet and drawers... this is extra work for the mother. if you set rule that the child must put away the removed clean clothes (as another mother mentioned that she did) then the child learns that removing clean clothes has the extra work of putting in their correct place for the next time they want to wear them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I learned from my father that every tool had a place to be and so if i used a tool without putting it back i got yelled at, (but it was ok if i put it back when done)  I also learned that if my mother asked me to do something that she would ask a couple times and then do it herself when i didn't... (still don't like to clean my room, but mom isn't here to do it)  :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;don't forget to have the tyke help wash their slightly worn clothes too.&#xA;when they see that their clothes washing is twice or three times as much due to clean clothes in dirty hamper they will notice they can play more if they change clothes less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and finally, think about having the tyke &quot;come with&quot; the next time you go to buy clothes... even go to the thrift shop, money to a good cause while the kid gets to say what clothes he will wear. Granted you likely will not find &quot;Sabbath worthy&quot; good clothes at a thrift shop, but for play clothes you will be able to say &quot;you wanted it&quot; and the clothes sizer will be there to be sure that the shirt/pants or skirt/blouse/dress &quot;fits&quot; (or slightly larger for &quot;grow into room&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;the extra input may seem a bother but it is more time with your child and their behavior just might be because they want more time with you... they are your pride and joy, why not let them know that you value their opinion, and later when you choose to battle they have experiences where listened to them so they will be more likely to let the battle rest for a better time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21945" LastEditorUserId="21945" LastEditDate="2016-05-28T10:41:51.300" LastActivityDate="2016-05-28T10:41:51.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24667" CreationDate="2016-04-25T12:56:42.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I hate to say this but I am 10 years into something similar. &lt;strong&gt;Run, don't walk!&lt;/strong&gt; It will not get better, matter of fact it's guaranteed to get worse with age. I am now plagued with anger issues, mental break downs, depression, so much more. I hate to sound so negative but it is the truth. Save yourself before there is nothing left to save :/ I love the kids, I love the wife, but I am definitely not the person I would have been if I had not subjected myself to this life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3393" LastActivityDate="2016-04-25T12:56:42.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24755" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24746" CreationDate="2016-04-26T01:57:37.017" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would start by saying that different kids advance in different areas at different rates. With that in mind, forcing something on a kid can turn them off to it. However, at this age, kids tend to respond to lots of exposure and repetitiveness. If you just read a lot, especially books about letters and spelling, and if you show excitement, eventually he will too, and if it takes a little longer, that's okay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21956" LastActivityDate="2016-04-26T01:57:37.017" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23237" CreationDate="2016-04-26T03:47:29.390" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;(I am a CISV volunteer, but will be objective in my response)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As mentioned by the others, CISV is a non-sectarian UNESCO partner non-profit organisation. I personally only joined as an adult volunteer in 2013, and can understand how it may initially seem like a sect to outsiders (if fact, this is something we might joke about ourselves, sometimes) - we cultivate a very open and fun culture and that aims to build a comfortable environment for children to learn and share in, and this is pretty much uniform across all chapters throughout the world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I haven't been involved in an &quot;Interchange,&quot; but I joined as an adult leader to lead a delegation of 4 eleven-year olds to a &quot;Village&quot; in Portugal, and have since also volunteered to lead &quot;Youth Meeting&quot; delegations to Belgium and Portugal, and even staffed/directed &quot;Step Up&quot; and &quot;Village&quot; programs in France, Sweden and Norway. These programs are very well-structured with clear learning goals behind all activities, adult training and risk management are always a top priority, and programs are constantly being evaluated and incrementally improved to adapt to the changing times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for your concern regarding the apparent involvement of mainly &quot;upper-class, internationally-minded&quot; families, it has been mentioned here that there is a certain investment that comes with participation (primarily membership fees to maintain local chapter operations and travel expenses to/from program sites), but is also a matter of greater geographic and economic situations - for example, mostly only children from very rich families in Brazil can afford to participate, while participation is well within reach for normal middle-class families in Northern Europe (which might explain the remarkable popularity of CISV across the Nordics).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, it is in the children that families and volunteers such as myself invest their time and resources. Lessons learned and connections made within these programs can last a lifetime, and we provide a venue where children can be themselves and gain greater awareness of the world, in the hopes that this guides their future decisions and attitudes toward constructive and responsible actions. I personally understand that this might not be the best or most feasible option for all families, and I am not connected with your local chapter to speak on their behalf, but I hope my response has been able to help in some way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21957" LastActivityDate="2016-04-26T03:47:29.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24706" CreationDate="2016-04-26T05:28:45.127" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;THIS GIRL NEEDS IMMEDIATE PROFESSIONAL HELP.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Picking up the knife, presumably in a threatening manner, indicates serious instability. This is not a run-of-the-mill teenage emotional outburst.  She is quite possibly a danger to someone else or to herself. She effectively threatened homicide or suicide. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This young lady needs to be evaluated by a medical professional as soon as possible. Her situation is well beyond the capabilities of the school counselor or a family therapist.  You could call one of them and get a referral.  You could call a family crisis hotline or suicide prevention line, or you could get in the car and drive to the emergency room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And ... if the knife things repeats, call 911 or the local equivalent. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck, to you and to your daughter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2016-04-26T05:28:45.127" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24758" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20783" CreationDate="2016-04-26T12:00:26.207" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this is pretty old but found it searching for answers.  I will post something else that hasn't been mentioned.  I left the man I loved after I delivered his baby because of his drinking, which began during my pregnancy.  He would wake up at 5am cracking a beer and that would be pretty much how his day would go until 2am the following morning when he'd fall asleep somewhere in the apartment, he didn't always make it to the bed.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'd go out to the clubs and bring random strangers home with him (men) to 'continue' the party at our apartment.  Once, when our son was only about 2 months old, he brought home a group of strange men around 3am and came busting through the door, flicked on the stereo blasting music and waking us all up.  I took my son and left him there with them and when I returned the next day, the men had stolen all of my jewelry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is why I left him.  This was my life during my pregnancy which I spent alone most of the time.  I had to take 8 unpaid weeks off after my c-Section and had to wait until I was able to return to work.  By then, he had lost his job due to drinking on the job so often and I was left paying all the bills.  My son hasn't seen his father in many years and I refuse to leave him alone with him.  Not out of vengeance but because my son is my life and I just can't lose him.  I tried to get him help and he refused, he thinks I'm just a boring person and sees nothing wrong with his life.  I wish people would consider, it's not just that someone drinks, it's how the drinking affects them.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21960" LastActivityDate="2016-04-26T12:00:26.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24762" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-26T22:48:36.247" Score="1" ViewCount="3304" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 3 years old in a couple of months and his father lives out of state.  He did live here when my son was born but was not there and would not sign the birth certificate.  It took a long time for him to become a part of my son's life and it was all me forcing the situation and then I believe he just liked the attention he got from others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a drinking problem as well.  He moved out of state about 6 months ago and wanted to do the Skype thing (when he wants).  I don't like the in and out father thing and then to be a father when he wants to.  What do I do about this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is not on the birth certificate, he has no rights and he hasn't seen my son in 6 months and about 5 months on Skype.  My son has a speech delay so he has never been able to talk to me about him, and for the most part he never asks &quot;dada?&quot; which he can say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21963" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2016-04-27T12:51:12.560" LastActivityDate="2018-03-09T04:38:55.107" Title="Should I allow my child's in-and-out father to be a part of his life?" Tags="|toddler|single-parent|father|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24667" CreationDate="2016-04-26T22:53:03.053" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even though you're not their father, and you can never be their father, you should love them like they're your children and be a father for them if you want to be with their mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You cannot have their mother without them. When you got serious with her, you got serious with all of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It won't be easy, but as suggested, you should spend one-to-one time with them and get to know them and ultimately bond with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may or may not ever reach the status of being their father in their eyes, but you can and should be a lot more than a disciplinarian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They've already been abandoned by their father, and now you're stealing some of the time and love that their mother has for them, which they so desperately need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either man up and be a father, and stick to that decision forever, or leave now and stop making their life harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will take a lot to convince them that you won't abandon them, and for that reason it'll be extremely hard for them to open up and bond with you. You are the adult, you need to understand the difficulties they're going through and stop seeing yourself as the victim of difficulties they're putting you through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way they're behaving is completely understandable to me and I wouldn't blame them for any of it if I were in your position. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4877" LastActivityDate="2016-04-26T22:53:03.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24762" CreationDate="2016-04-27T11:21:19.667" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Only you can decide whether or not any problems arising from contact to his father outweigh the benefits. However, &lt;strong&gt;in general I believe it is important for a child to have contact with both parents, to the extent possible and practical&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From your question it is unclear if there is behaviour by the father that poses a danger to your son (such as violence or neglect). You mention &quot;drinking problems&quot;, which must be taken seriously, but can be controlled to some extent. Apart from that, the main problem is that you do not like the fact that the father does not accept his responsibility as a parent, and only does what suits him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While this is a deplorable situation, I don't see how (further) limiting contact would make it better, either for your son or even for you - as long as the father does not show harmful behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My personal advice would be:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to encourage and support the contact the father is willing to have - not out of gratitude towards him (which you do not owe), but for your son. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At the same time, do not feel obliged to go out of your way to accomodate the father. If he wants to visit at a time that is inconvenient for you, or do if he does things that bother you, set clear boundaries. Do not put up deliberate obstacles, but also do not feel obliged to make up for any lack of responsibility or planning by the father.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he later chooses to share more responsibilities, you can always re-asses the situation, and choose to accept this, or not, or conditionally.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep an eye on the father's behavior and your son's interactions with him. If the father's addiction causes problems, you may, should and possibly must intervene. One can only hope the father gets his addiction under control, but that is not something you can influence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way, you &lt;strong&gt;maximise the good things your son can get from his father, while shielding you (both your familiy and you personally) from further problems&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, do not begrudge the fact that the father is (sometimes) shirking his responsibilities. While this is a sad situation, there is nothing you can do about it. Just limit contact to whatever if beneficial for all of you, and let him make his own decisions otherwise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2016-04-28T06:37:05.620" LastActivityDate="2016-04-28T06:37:05.620" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24766" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24767" CreationDate="2016-04-27T14:37:07.190" Score="3" ViewCount="315" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a new dad to be, this July!&#xA;A friend of mine had her first born son in a hospital. As soon as he was born, they forcefully whisked him from her to run lab tests and so on. A few hours later, they brought back the wrong baby. (This was corrected within a few minutes, but is still super scary). This was a few years ago, and I know hospitals have come a long way. However, it leaves me with a slight paranoia that when my son is born, the hospital might take him away and switch him out by accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're going with a midwife so this is not likely, but if we had to go to a hospital, I was told by another friend that by law, they cannot take the child out of our site without our consent. Does anyone know what law they may have been referring to? I'd like to read up on it and be educated!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9824" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-20T12:36:24.070" LastActivityDate="2019-07-20T12:36:24.070" Title="Laws Regarding Newborn Care at a Hospital" Tags="|first-time|birth|usa|doctor|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2019-07-21T13:39:38.590" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24766" CreationDate="2016-04-27T17:42:00.113" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Legally, no medical procedures can be done to minors without parental consent (with exceptions in some states for contraceptive care for teenagers). In practice, doctors who claim emergency medical necessity can basically do what they think is necessary. For more legal advice than that general information, you should ask a lawyer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend you air these concerns with your care provider. A birth plan that clearly states that the baby is to stay with the parents at all times can help make your expectations clear. And yes, you should have a contingency birth plan for a hospital birth, and know what hospital you will go to in that event. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anyone tries to take your baby after birth, the non-birthing parent (I'm assuming a couple here since you say &quot;we&quot; but make this another trusted adult if there is only one parent in the picture and that parent has just given birth.) should plan to follow the baby and insist on the baby being in his or her sight at all times. Usually though, blood tests etc can be done in the postnatal recovery room with the parents there, and the hospital should be able to honor that request. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20772" LastActivityDate="2016-04-27T17:42:00.113" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24768" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-27T18:58:55.977" Score="2" ViewCount="231" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year-old granddaughter lives with me. For the last month she is so tired and is hard to get settled down. We tried lots of things to get her to calm down before bed. She used to go to bed at 8:30 but lately it's like 9:30 or later, she has to get up every morning at 6am and it's hell.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Can anyone give me some advice?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21968" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-18T12:11:54.670" LastActivityDate="2019-07-18T12:11:54.670" Title="How do I get a 2-year-old to calm down at night to go to bed by 8:30 or 9pm?" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|grandparents|soothing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24768" CreationDate="2016-04-27T21:01:47.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;That age can be tough.  Both of our boys went through similar issues around two - they had a lot harder time going to sleep, went to sleep later, and were very hard to soothe.  Some of it is, unfortunately, just time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tried several thing, some of which were helpful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consistent bedtime.  Try to get it to be a very consistent routine, consistent time, etc.  Consistency is key.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Adjust the time to what sleep she needs.  Maybe she doesn't need more than that amount of sleep.  Trying to make her go to bed earlier than she is tired means you're going to have a struggle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reduce naps.  At 2 most kids need less sleep than they did at 1.  If she's still napping for 2-3 hours in the middle of the day, maybe she only needs 8 hours of sleep at night.  (I think the theoretical amount is a bit higher, but not all children are theoretical children...)  Our three year old stopped napping most days, and now goes to bed on time at night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Eliminate screen time within an hour of bed.  Adults often think the TV is a great way to fall asleep, but for kids it's usually not helpful.  Screens confuse your brain and make you think it's daytime.  Less light in general is in fact a good idea - turn your house lights down (either dim them or turn some off) half an hour before bed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to her about why she should go to bed, and give her strategies for dealing with the fact that bedtime is &lt;em&gt;boring&lt;/em&gt;.  Teach her to make up stories with her stuffed animals or dolls, for example.  Point out to her the fun things she can do tomorrow if she sleeps now and gets a good night sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall, though, the most helpful thing we did was 2 and 3 - we stopped trying to make our kids sleep as much.  They just don't need quite as much sleep as they get older, and it can be hard to remember to adjust amount of sleep needed downwards (until they're teens!).  If your granddaughter is acting like she gets enough sleep, then she probably is getting enough sleep, and you just need to work out when that sleep happens to the best of your ability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-04-27T21:01:47.380" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24771" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-27T21:25:31.767" Score="2" ViewCount="1259" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 month old grandson has no feeding / sleep schedule. He was born 3 weeks early, weighing 5 lbs. My daughter in law, Liz, is breastfeeding. The Dr. told her to feed as often as possible to get his weight up. He weighs now 14 lbs. Healthy, perfect, no problems.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the problem is that he only nurses for a couple of minutes each feeding, so eats whenever he whimpers. A tiny bit a time, every 30 minutes or so, so he never really gets full, never is really hungry enough to eat a whole meal. Even all night long he is up every hour. Mom is exhausted and gets up to feed him every time he stirs. She thinks he still needs to eat every few minutes. At 6 months old.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am worried about my son and daughter in law. They are getting no rest.  Still. She has the baby sleeping in her room so she can get to him easliy every hour! She has no idea how to get him to eat more each time, so less frequently. Her Dr. told them to look up ideas in books!?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can they break this exhausting habit and get back to some kind of sane sleep pattern for them all?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21970" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2018-05-02T14:35:02.057" LastActivityDate="2018-05-02T14:35:02.057" Title="How to start a new feeding/sleep schedule for a 6 month old?" Tags="|infant|sleep|feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24766" CreationDate="2016-04-28T03:48:54.887" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As naomisl said, legally they can't do anything without your consent, and they have a lot of checks and balances to make sure the right baby gets matched with the right parents.  However, a lot of that consent also comes by way of the forms you sign when you are first admitted, in addition to sort of rushed &quot;okays&quot; you give when they ask a question like, &quot;We're going to take him to run some tests, okay?&quot; before you really realize what's going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doctors and nurses are accustomed to the activity, but for you, it will be a lot to process all at once, especially if a hospital birth was not your plan, and you're only there due to complications.  There's all the emotions:  excitement of having a new baby, worry about the complications, etc.  Dads are tired and moms are exhausted and in tremendous pain.  And in this state you're getting what feels like rapid fire questions, being asked to make important medical decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your mind is in that kind of state, it doesn't really matter what the law says, because trust me, you won't be able to think it through in the moment.  You need to make a plan now that if a nurse asks to take the baby to another room, that dad will stay with the baby, and grandma will stay with mom, or whatever arrangement works for you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2016-04-28T03:48:54.887" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24576" CreationDate="2016-04-28T16:01:00.613" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife set our kids' bedtimes based on their ages.  When our oldest was ready for Star Wars, we watched about 30 minutes per night with him after his siblings were in bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are very consistent with bedtimes, so the younger kids don't get angry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20782" LastActivityDate="2016-04-28T16:01:00.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24776" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-29T05:25:51.087" Score="3" ViewCount="408" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a friend in his mid-teens who recently realized that his mother is a narcissist and he thinks she suffers from severe narcissism. This has been troubling him and he tells me that he doesn't know what to do. He said he felt better for having finally understood his mother but is still troubled for not knowing how to deal with her manipulative behaviour. He is emotionally detached right now. What can he do to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Heal &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Reach teen independence and individuality&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Maintain a safe relationship with her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Provide his little brother and sister with their emotional needs that his self-centered mother can't provide&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Prevent daily arguments between his parents&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="anon" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-28T17:03:34.183" LastActivityDate="2018-10-28T17:03:34.183" Title="How to deal with a narcisstic mother?" Tags="|teen|parents|mental-health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2018-11-01T17:58:42.810" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24768" CreationDate="2016-04-29T06:38:17.353" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a similar thing with mine, here's what worked for me and got my toddler sleeping through within 3-4 nights and was a landmark achievement seeing as he was used to sleeping in our bed and now had to go in a cot in his own room:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As already mentioned, a consistent bedtime is key - it is the foundation for their bedtime routine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing I did was around 7pm put his pyjamas on and brush his teeth, then around 7:30pm say goodnight to everyone and I would take him upstairs. (Again, all part of a routine that teaches them to start winding down)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first night, he was hysterical as soon as I walked past our bedroom and put him in the cot, so I started reading one of his favourite books again and again. Eventually, he realised that he couldn't hear me and would stop being upset so that he could listen to the story. This went on for about an hour or two and eventually he lay down exhausted and went to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second night, same routine with pyjamas and teeth brushing at the same time. Got up to his cot and he started crying but would immediately stop when I started reading the story. After about 30 mins I asked him to lie down and would only carry on reading when he did so. Again this took a couple of hours but eventually he fell asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Repeated this process for the next couple of nights and he eventually stopped moaning/crying about going to bed and would look forward to having a story read to him before going to sleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I cannot stress this enough - consistency is absolute key to success with this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few months we had a blip for a couple of nights where he would get upset again about going to bed so we bought a new night light for him and made it his job to turn the stars on and pick a song - this made it fun for him and he would look forward to going to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 2 and a half now and we have absolutely no mither off him about bed time. 7pm he gets his pyjamas and some milk. Then has his teeth brushed, says goodnight to everyone and goes to bed for 7:30pm and sleeps through until about 7:30am in his own bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously every child is different so it might not be a book or a night light that gets yours excited about going to bed but you will find something that works for you - just make sure it's consistent!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21983" LastActivityDate="2016-04-29T06:38:17.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24778" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24803" CreationDate="2016-04-29T09:16:57.090" Score="5" ViewCount="2211" Body="&lt;p&gt;We began to send our 3month (almost 4 month) old son to infant care. The first two days are half-days only. On the second day, after we picked him up from the center, he didn't smile back at us as usual. Is it because he has never separated with us before? Is that normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home he stays only with us. We are staying overseas, so there are no in-laws or other family who can look after him. And as our house is pretty tiny, we don't have visitors. We usually go out with him during weekends. And sometimes meet other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21984" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2016-05-01T12:40:44.320" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T07:36:08.500" Title="My son isn't smiling back at us anymore when we pick him up from infant care" Tags="|infant|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24779" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-29T10:04:20.473" Score="-5" ViewCount="586" Body="&lt;p&gt;I always thought people had kids so as to make their life more meaningful in the following manner: they know that when they die they will leave something about themselves: their genes, and perhaps some off their values. But what I've read seems to differ from this idea: people have kids because they like themselves so much they want to see mini versions of themselves together in a child in this life. So what is the truth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20162" LastActivityDate="2016-04-29T20:06:46.160" Title="Why do people have kids?" Tags="|social-development|cognitive-development|motivation|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2016-04-29T20:06:52.787" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24782" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26173" CreationDate="2016-04-29T11:27:54.780" Score="5" ViewCount="1969" Body="&lt;p&gt;When we brought our son home form hospital, all the advice from the midwives and health visitors was that we should not use a duvet whist he was small, and instead should use either sleep sacks (like a Grobag) or cellular blankets that are tucked in well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what stage can we safely progress to trying with a duvet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14789" LastActivityDate="2016-06-06T20:38:27.860" Title="When is it safe to start using a duvet?" Tags="|toddler|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24783" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24779" CreationDate="2016-04-29T12:25:51.363" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can certainly make an evolutionary argument: species that do not have a strong drive to produce offspring will become extinct quickly, species that want offspring will persist. Since humans are not extinct (yet) it stands to reason that, as a species, we do have a strong genetic impetus to procreate. It's baked into basic human nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The rewards are mostly emotional: raising kids cost huge amounts of money, it's an enormous amount of work, a massive time sink and in general a pain in the neck. It's really hard to justify other than through emotional rewards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have three, love them to death, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me (emotionally, not financially, that is :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2016-04-29T12:25:51.363" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24784" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-04-29T14:32:12.637" Score="3" ViewCount="194" Body="&lt;p&gt;My granddaughter wakes up around 1:30 every night screaming and tightening her body up like something is going on. This just started about a week ago. Could she be having a bad dream?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21968" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-09T12:45:08.307" LastActivityDate="2019-04-09T12:54:06.970" Title="Why is my granddaughter screaming in the middle of the night like something is wrong but calms down in about 10-15 min?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|sleep|grandparents|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2019-04-14T13:06:32.043" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24792" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24746" CreationDate="2016-05-01T11:57:55.600" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife took the approach of letting our 5 year old learn at his own pace. She would ask him if he wants to write some letters. He said no for months. She honored that. He drew pictures and developed internal skills by doing things he wanted. Now he asks questions like &quot;how do i write shush&quot;. His mom explains. &quot;How do I write letter H&quot;. I can see that this self directed approach has resulted in us having a self motivated learner. I recommend study of Finnish schools as well. Shorter hours. Less pressure. Relax. Learning is like eating. Don't force feed. Watch. React. Enjoy your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2184" LastActivityDate="2016-05-01T11:57:55.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24794" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24724" CreationDate="2016-05-02T14:12:30.087" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It depends,see if there are any negetive things around him. If he watches movies at this age(especially  action)avoid him doing so. Or if it is an influence of people surrounding him daily avoid him from them as much as you can. Actually, at this age it is obvious. But It is mostly for a short period of time. It won't last longer when child will grow bigger and be ethical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22002" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T14:12:30.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24796" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24817" CreationDate="2016-05-02T14:37:10.630" Score="0" ViewCount="1159" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is there a lower limit to the age at which one could first determine that a child is homosexual?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, what age is it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9091" LastEditorUserId="22083" LastEditDate="2016-05-12T01:25:11.690" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T01:25:11.690" Title="From what age onward can we see that a child is homosexual?" Tags="|development|lgbtq|sexual-development|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2016-05-07T18:01:18.573" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3317" CreationDate="2016-05-02T15:47:22.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I made a natural Xanthan Gum hair gel, 1 tablespoons Xanthan gum to 4 oz water. Mix it in a jar, stays good it the fridge for a couple weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22004" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T15:47:22.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24796" CreationDate="2016-05-02T15:55:15.113" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;A person may discover their preferences, or find new preferences, to almost anything at any point in their life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T15:55:15.113" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24796" CreationDate="2016-05-02T16:31:15.607" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;At the age that the child tells you. You don't &quot;discover&quot; another person's sexuality, that is something each person finds for themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20772" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T16:31:15.607" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24706" CreationDate="2016-05-02T19:09:03.067" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe the police department handles assault and battery. I'm sorry. I know it's your daughter, but when we progress to using weapons to convey threats and we're perceiving these threats as legitimate, you have a responsibility to your other daughter to do something about this immediately. Failure to act in the best interests of your other daughter could result in both being removed from your care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sucks. But there comes a point when more extreme measures are taken. I sincerely hope that your daughter gets the help she needs and that this all gets resolved quickly and safely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16202" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T19:09:03.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24771" CreationDate="2016-05-02T19:57:33.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also agree with the Ferber method. Although you don't have to do it all night long. A child at that age who is breastfeeding most of the time will probably still need to eat at night. Especially at the age where she is exploring a lot more and isn't spending enough time during the day to eat a full feeding. It would be crazy to not feed during the night in such a case. However, feeding every few minutes at night is not very helpful and is exhausting to the mother!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, check to see if baby is nursing properly. Maybe there is some issue that is causing the baby to tire quickly and not get in a full feeding (e.g. tongue-tie). The best way to tell is to do a weighted feed. Weigh baby before nursing with no diaper on, using a professional scale (they can be rented, or you can do this in the doctor's office). Then weigh again after feeding. You can see exactly how much she ate in that time. If she got at least 3 or so ounces, you know she won't be hungry if she's crying 10 minutes later. There are many, many reasons babies fuss and only one of them is hunger!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the daytime, try to have baby feed every 2 hours instead of more frequently than that. If baby fusses in between feedings, maybe try a pacifier or some other soothing technique. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At night, aim for feeding every 3 hours at first. If baby wakes up sooner try with another technique, not feeding. If at least 3 hours have passed, feed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T19:57:33.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24778" CreationDate="2016-05-02T20:01:37.570" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies that age don't accurately display their emotions. Just because he smiles one day and not another day doesn't mean he was happier or less happy. One good way to know if your baby had a good day is by inquiring with the caregivers. Did he eat well? Sleep well? Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-05-02T20:01:37.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24806" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-03T01:00:35.050" Score="1" ViewCount="1069" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five-year-old son will be six in August. It's been a rollercoaster ride since he's been two. I'm feeling lost and failed as a parent. Me and his father are divorced since he's been two and we keep a straight line raising him separate. I can say we both love and support him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been in speech therapy since age two, by three he was still not talking clear. I moved forward with professional help, being concerned that he may have autism. I went through all the testing and came back no signs of it just a receptive, expressive speech delay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He started kindergarten this year full time, doing his academics in the morning with his special teacher, going to lunch, then joining his general kindergarten class to finish the day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's been responding well to the routine and made intermittent improvements with his speech. Unfortunately, the last month his behavior declined sufficiently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son feeds on bad attention. No matter how much I redirect him or his teachers, he feels no remorse and continues to repeat these bad actions. He runs around the classroom, has a hard time sitting in his seat, lately has been hitting students and teachers, something he never did at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm constantly having the same conversations with him and repeatedly going back to disruptive behavior at school. I don't let him get away with this behavior but he's pushing it hard at school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's one thing after another, I just can't catch a break. I'm moving on to professional help and I pray the outcome is right for my child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just can't understand why he loves to misbehave. Is this normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22006" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-06T13:20:55.303" LastActivityDate="2019-06-06T13:20:55.303" Title="Are my 5-year-old's behavioral problems at daycare normal?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|daycare|divorce|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2016-05-09T17:24:14.970" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18601" CreationDate="2016-05-03T07:23:35.997" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son began having a hard time with naps at that time too. Most behavioral issues for children can also be traced back to sleep habits, and usually they are a result of not having enough sleep. What we found through reading and experimentation is that a few more things were happening than just a rough nap time:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Separation Anxiety. Leading up to the 18 month mark separation anxiety kicks into high gear. Its a good, and healthy thing for a kid to want to be close to their parents at this age and a part of the developmental process. Try a lovey to help, and reassure the kid that sleep is important to their growth and development. They may not understand what you're saying, but they do understand that you are trying to reassure them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Parent attitude. When I was dreading putting him down, putting him down was worse. Kids pick up on the small biological signals that we send out when we're anxious. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Nap schedule. Between 12 and 18 months kids can still sometimes go for 2 naps a day, even though most of the time they only prefer one nap. Its not until about 18 months that the second nap begins to disappear completely. If your child is growing, perhaps they need some extra rest. Kids will need a nap until they are a couple years old, and at that age they should still be getting roughly 13-14 hours of sleep between nighttime and nap time. If nighttime sleep is not enough, nap time can be much harder. If we, as parents, are doing nap times too late or not providing the opportunity for enough sleep then sleep problems arise. Conversely, if we are pushing them into too much sleep when they don't need it then sleep problems arise. Finding the right amount of sleep for your child is an individual experience and will be different for each child. That said, always err on the side of more sleep in moments of transition before cutting sleep.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As mentioned previously, an abbreviated bedtime routine was critically important for us. We don't do the bath time, but we do continue our books and a song for nap time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are better at training us than we are at training them. If your child knows that they longer he/she screams the more likely you are to come back in, then that's what they will do. I don't recall the citation, but there was a Harvard study that looked at stress levels associated with children crying it out. After the first night, their stress hormone levels (cortisol was used to measure it here) were the same as any other method. They may sound like they're being tortured, but they're really just protesting in the only way they know how.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Consistency is key. No matter what way you approach nap time (go back in and reassure, close the door and walk away, etc.) just remember that being consistent is the most important thing. Kids thrive on routine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Each kid is different. And you know what? Sometimes despite all the best intentions and the best schedule they will just not agree with it and not want to go through with it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember: You obviously care, that's why you're asking questions here. The most important thing is providing a loving environment for your child and it sounds like you're doing that. Kids grow, change, protest, learn boundaries (through testing them). The fact that a few minutes of screaming, and admittedly it is blood curdling and heart-wrenching, does have an effect on you: You are on the right track.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can, pick up &quot;Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.&quot; By Marc Weissbluth. Its is a phenomenal reference and discusses how to address specific sleep problems directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20229" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T07:23:35.997" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24778" CreationDate="2016-05-03T07:36:08.500" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;To piggy back off of what was already said, kids don't really express emotions just yet, and at (I'm assuming) now 4 months, a baby is only just now beginning to become interactive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The short story is: Don't sweat it. If that's the only thing that's different, then your child is fine. As was said before, focus on the logistics of a child transitioning to daycare: Amount they ate, amount of sleep, tummy time, etc. Its an adjustment and 1 day is not statistically significant in even the most remote way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm overseas also. No family close by. Two working parents. Its a tough deal sometimes. Our son was the same way in the that he didn't really see anyone else for a while. Its not necessarily a bad or a good thing at that age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children also mirror us a whole lot at that age. Maybe you were tired that day and didn't smile as brightly as normal so your child didn't reflect it back. Maybe your child was tired that day because he/she didn't sleep as well in a new place. I would personally be concerned if your baby was regularly socially interactive (few weeks) and then it stopped abruptly and didn't return. But that's with my child. As I said before, each day, just like each kid, is different. And adjusting takes time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember: You know your child best. If something is wrong: You will know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20229" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T07:36:08.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24810" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24811" CreationDate="2016-05-03T09:59:30.877" Score="6" ViewCount="8772" Body="&lt;p&gt;My ten months old daughter has been in a little nursery for a couple of months now. There, she has begun to act more wildly. It is something we expected and we like her getting in touch with other infants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a little kid, a bit older than her, who shouts a lot. Long, very acute shouts that are quite unpleasant for everyone's ears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter apparently liked those, so now she is shouting quite often. In the beginning I thought she was just playing with her voice, but now it is becoming more frequent and a bit annoying if we are in closed places with other, unrelated people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am trying to look at her seriously when she does and I shake my head saying &quot;no&quot;. She kind of understands it, but after a while she starts over again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: is this normal? Is my approach going to work out? Is there anything else I can do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-11T13:14:03.820" LastActivityDate="2018-12-11T13:14:03.820" Title="Why is my daughter shouting so much?" Tags="|behavior|infant|discipline|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24810" CreationDate="2016-05-03T10:34:08.273" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is absolutely normal - she has discovered a new toy: her voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age she doesn't really know anything about the effect loud shouts can have on others. And even when you ask her to stop, that is only a short term thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But this will come with time - I'd suggest keeping on doing as you are now. If you make too big a thing of it, sometimes children will enjoy the extra attention you give them when telling them off, and this can encourage them to do it more!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T10:34:08.273" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24810" CreationDate="2016-05-03T12:17:31.827" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is something you can do. Instead of only reacting with the &quot;serious&quot; look and &quot;no&quot;, sometimes mimic her back! At times when it is least disturbing to others. It might be engaging and fun. And she might learn something even more, like when the shouting is more appropriate and fun, and when it ought to be toned down. Additional benefit: meaningful (to her) interaction/communication with parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T12:17:31.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24810" CreationDate="2016-05-03T14:05:38.453" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children that age learn new things everyday, some good some bad. Trust me it is only a phase and will pass soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do meanwhile is not give her extra attention when she shouts i.e. don't tell her it is bad or to stop, simply try to distract her with a toy she likes or a book or whatever else she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE: All the people advising a 'firm hand'... please, we are talking about a 10 month old baby which does not know right from wrong, I have a daughter of 15 months and I say from recent experience that this shouting phase comes and goes, I am not saying that re-enforce this behaviour by bending to the baby's (childish :) ) demands but try and distract the baby. Certainly don't distract the baby with chocolates or movies, but maybe by making an animal sound yourself or by showing a book of animals (my daughter loves animal books) for kids.&#xA;Don't be harsh to a ten month old baby please, you don't want your baby to turn up a shy/under-confident/easily frightened adult.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22010" LastEditorUserId="22010" LastEditDate="2016-05-04T07:25:52.783" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T07:25:52.783" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24814" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26883" CreationDate="2016-05-03T15:28:20.957" Score="3" ViewCount="358" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is now 2 years old and he cannot say R (he would either use another letter or say something more similar to &quot;v&quot;rather than &quot;r&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What concerns me is that R is one of the first letters he was able to say! He would sometimes go on for a couple of minutes &quot;singing&quot; tr-tr-tr-tr.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it possible for a child to &quot;unlearn&quot; how to make a sound?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NOTE&lt;/strong&gt;: I am Italian, my wife French and we live in UK. When together we speak Italian. My wife speaks French/Italian when I'm not with them. His friends all speak English. By &quot;R&quot; I mean the way it is pronounced in Italian, not English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11222" LastActivityDate="2016-08-20T14:07:56.237" Title="Can child forget how to pronounce a letter?" Tags="|language-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24814" CreationDate="2016-05-03T15:49:26.040" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Definitely.  Especially in a situation where they're surrounded by multiple languages that handle pronunciation differently.  Your child is learning three languages simultaneously, so it's not terribly surprising that they may stumble over some sounds more than a child that only learns its native language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing, as it often seems to be with raising a child, is not to worry about it.  Keep doing the right thing and be patient with them as they work things out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T15:49:26.040" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24810" CreationDate="2016-05-03T15:52:36.887" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is very normal. However, in my experience, your plan will likely not work out. The problem is not her screaming, it's her disobedience. If she stops screaming but continues to grow in disobedience, you will likely still be displeased. Fortunately, there is something else you can do. If you oppose corporal punishment on principal, ignore this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not think what you are doing will work because, when I've tried your approach with my daughter who is very rambunxious, it does not work for more than a short while. Also, she quickly figures out that she can do whatever she wants and will only get a stern look or possibly miss out on a tasty reward for good behavior. She's not old enough to understand the inherent value of obedience, social harmony, and occasional self-denial so who can blame her? I also do not encourage you to try distracting her by giving her rewards because that does not teach her to be a good person, just to do whatever she wants and expect a distracting reward. Whenever we leave my daughter with her grandparents who exclusively use the distraction technique, she comes home and behaves considerably worse than when we dropped her off, especially if we do not spend all of our time distracting her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, what you should do is this: whenever she screams, say &quot;no-no&quot; or whatever you want to say to indicate &quot;that's bad&quot; in a calm voice. If she does what you say, excellent! You have a well-behaved child. If she does not obey, immediately swat her hand (not too hard but hard enough it hurts) and do so again every time she disobeys. The important part is the consistent response. You are essentially conditioning her to heed you when you say &quot;No-no&quot;. Learning to listen and behave well early in life will be a huge, &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt; head start for her when she is older. Here is why this is such a good idea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is the only thing small children understand. We as parents are very proud of our smart children. However, we can't possibly expect an infant to have a fully developed conscience and the ability to reason morally. They can't even talk! If you want to communicate with them that something is bad, non-injurious pain is the clearest, best way to do it. Further, by saying your phrase (we use &quot;no-no&quot;) every time you swat their hand, they very quickly learn &quot;no-no&quot; means &quot;don't do that&quot; even if they don't speak well enough to understand &quot;don't do that&quot;. The goal here is to say &quot;no-no&quot; and have them listen without swatting them. This is not hard to achieve. Both of my kids (a two-year-old and a one-year-old) understand this. You don't have to wait until they can talk and reason in order to discipline them which gives them a tremendous head start on their moral development by not spending years letting them behave badly and then trying to talk it out of them when they're old enough to discuss it and have been confirmed in mischief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consequences are immediate. Delaying gratification is hard, especially for small children, and it's what we ask them to do if we delay punishment. Further, since we want to teach good behavior to children that are very young, they likely won't understand that later consequences are associated with earlier bad behavior. They may even have forgotten their bad behavior and we could ruin good family time by punishing them inappropriately.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consequences are impossible to ignore. If you give a stern look, it's easy for your kid to ignore it. When we started punishing my daughter for bad behavior (around ten or eleven months), she was very sad when we were upset with her and wanted only to rectify her bad behavior quickly in order to please us. She rapidly got over that and was able to ignore stern looks or harsh words. It's difficult to ignore a spanking.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consequences are immediately over. I have so many memories of receiving timeouts, groundings, and other &quot;more humane&quot; punishments when I was a child and they all involve my sitting in my room meditating on how much I hated my parents, how unfair life is, and how I was right and they were wrong. This is obviously not something anyone wants to encourage. When my daughter hits her brother, she gets a handful of spankings on the hand (pun intended) and then it's over and we immediately resume playing, laughing, etc. I don't yell at her, jerk her around, say mean things, or give her any reason to be mad. I tell her to come to me, she obeys because we discipline her, I give her the spankings she knows she deserves for pushing her brother to the floor, she may or may not cry and I may or may not snuggle her afterward, and sixty seconds later she's running and laughing and playing again. The difference is that she behaves herself for a while afterward and permanently becomes a little more conditioned toward kindness.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main objections I hear to this program are from people worried that this will teach their children to be violent, to hate their parents, things like that. If you hit your children for no reason, spank them while losing control of yourself, scream and don't control your temper, or beat them so badly you produce lasting harm, those things will certainly happen. If you calmly, peacefully, and in full control of yourself swat your toddler on the hand when they misbehave, none of those things will happen and you will receive the many benefits I listed above. Timeouts, grounding, deprivation of privileges, etc are far more likely to produce bad children than appropriate corporal punishment for the reasons I listed above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6516" LastEditorUserId="6516" LastEditDate="2016-05-03T15:57:38.683" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T15:57:38.683" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24796" CreationDate="2016-05-03T16:24:28.287" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;EDIT: TL;DR --&gt;I do not believe there is an age cap. From the moment the child is born, they learn from their surroundings and parents how to act/react to all situations. Some parts of a child are nurture (how they handle anger, gender roles, etc...), some are nature (liking sports vs art, etc...), but children are just experiencing life, they do not categorize themselves like we do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I inferred some things about the OP's question because as it stands explicitly, the answer is a very short, &quot;No&quot;. However, I felt that was unhelpful answer so I inferred that the OP must have had more going on behind the scenes that wasn't expressed in the post.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children learn about life by watching others and by guidance from their parents. My 5 yr old boy likes to paint his nails because he has watched my wife do it. By no means does that mean he is homosexual. He simply saw someone else doing it, and tried doing it himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What ever the child you are thinking about is doing, he/she is probably just getting influence from other sources like TV or school. It is up to you to guide your child as you wish. If you want them to be homosexual, by all means tell them their behavior means they are homosexual. If you do not want your child to be homosexual, realize they are just experimenting. Possibly tell them that is something the other gender usually does, but do not prohibit them from doing it because the child really is just finding out about life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example is when my 5yr old was putting my wife's hair ties and such in his hair, or putting on her bra. I just told him he was &quot;being silly, putting on mama's clothes&quot; and such. And he really was, he just likes being silly. He grew out of that and now likes to be silly by dancing all crazy like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&#xA;nocomprende wrote a comment that I feel should not be missed, so I got his permission to put it in this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;...we [adults] have a definition of homosexuality, but children simply have preferences and behavior. We think that a definition makes something so, but there is no homosexuality until there is intent. That is in the mind, not visible. It makes no difference until intent is acted on.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As NoComprende says, we should see that our children &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;ARE&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; innocence. They &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;ARE&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; kindness and love. That is what they are made of at a young age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a personal rant, unfortunately in our society, &quot;growing up&quot; could be defined as the process of losing that innocence, love, and kindness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-05-06T20:53:02.120" LastActivityDate="2016-05-06T20:53:02.120" CommentCount="17" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24818" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-03T16:40:27.117" Score="4" ViewCount="396" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife gave birth two weeks ago. It was all very traumatic and it has certainly taken its toll on her mood. She suffers from depression anyway, and now I am concerned that she is probably suffering from post-natal depression. My wife is under professional care for her depression, and we also have cover from a post-natal psychiatrist. She is still very attentive to the baby, and is doing a fantastic job of breastfeeding etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm just looking for any tips of things that I could do to make things easier for her really! In particular, I'm worried (and so is she) that she is missing out on a lot of the happy early bits of parenthood and would like to do anything I can to help her enjoy this bit a little more. My question, I suppose, is how can I help with this tricky period &lt;strong&gt;in addition to&lt;/strong&gt; seeking professional care? In some ways, I think that this is as much about me feeling that I am doing something useful as it is about my wife!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22013" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-10T17:18:42.953" LastActivityDate="2018-09-10T17:18:42.953" Title="My wife is under treatment for depression and just had a traumatic labor. What can I do to help her?" Tags="|newborn|emotional-well-being|father|depression|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24818" CreationDate="2016-05-03T17:09:07.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;That is a tough one, as we cannot &quot;make&quot; ourselves happy, etc... One bit of advice is for her to exercise. It is well documented that exercise can help lift people out of a sad/depressed state. You will need to do it with her to help motivate her ( I know depression makes me not want to exercise ), and figuring out which exercises are good for her will take trial and error since her body was just put through a blender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife really liked to bounce on one of those single person exercise trampolines. She did find that the bouncing motion was a little disconcerting early since she just had a baby, but she started out (just after the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd baby), just light bouncing, nothing crazy. She was able to increase from there as time went on and her body recovered from having a baby and got stronger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T17:09:07.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3211" CreationDate="2016-05-03T22:33:01.037" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We use a 'double check'. Sometimes he doesn't understand what it actually means when he says yes/no, so I confirm what he meant by explaining what will happen next. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: Are you done with your dinner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddler: Yes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: Ok, then I am going to take your food away (or even better: Can I eat your food? This really drives home that he is not having more food)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddler: OK! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddler: No! Not done!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the latter case I allow him to 'change his mind'. I don't really think he does, I just don't think he fully understands what I mean by my first question. Asking a two-part question in one sentence ('Are you done with your food, can I take it away') tend to be too complex. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may have a different issue, but I do run into this mostly when he is tired. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-05-03T22:33:01.037" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24824" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-04T00:49:23.900" Score="2" ViewCount="279" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 18 months old twin girls who recently started to bite, both their sister and us. It's not like when they were teething, it's an aggressive move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried to talk to them explaining that it's bad and it hurts, and making them apologise. Sometimes we can see that they feel bad about it, but they will do it again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to have them stop biting?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22023" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-08T14:13:15.357" LastActivityDate="2019-01-08T14:13:15.357" Title="How to make our 18-month-old twins stop biting?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|siblings|twins|biting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24810" CreationDate="2016-05-04T03:54:35.970" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used to call one of my nephews &lt;em&gt;The Pterodactyl Child,&lt;/em&gt; until we nipped that bud:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Inside voice, please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(yes, even if sometimes we &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; outside)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I only have one niece, so I may be off-base, but IME (and my mother's, who holds a masters degree in special education) females develop sooner and begin the &quot;terrible twos&quot; at around that age. Good luck :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9910" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T03:54:35.970" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24810" CreationDate="2016-05-04T13:22:25.597" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer works on excited adults too: speak very softly to her and she'll speak softly too. Kids learn by mimicry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As soon as she's old enough to understand you can add; &quot;the people over there don't want to hear that&quot; or (my favourite) &quot;that baby over there wants to sleep, please don't be so loud&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T13:22:25.597" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24818" CreationDate="2016-05-04T13:58:52.730" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The most important thing is to be aware of the signs of depression in general, and to seek professional help even for apparently minor issues. You've already got that covered because of the preexisting condition, which is good -- keep it up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Post-partum depression is often not just due to hormones, but also the stress and sleeplessness of being a new parent. Do as much as possible to provide help with the new child and general household tasks. Provide opportunities for breaks -- time out with friends, running errands without the baby, even a nap and shower and an hour of &quot;quiet mommy time&quot; is remarkably refreshing. Be positive towards her, expressing respect for her hard work and support during this transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-05-05T01:30:54.387" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T01:30:54.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24829" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24834" CreationDate="2016-05-04T15:55:23.947" Score="42" ViewCount="17379" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two kids, an 8-year-old son and a 6-year-old daughter--second grade and first grade, respectively. They are both tiny. My son is only 46 pounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child entered my daughter's first-grade class. Let's call the boy Joe. He's big, maybe 60 pounds. He's had behavioral problems his whole life, and his mom chose to homeschool him for kindergarten after he was removed from preschool. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Joe gets overstimulated easily and hits impulsively. He doesn't understand what he's doing is wrong. Dozens of teachers, social workers, and parents have urged the boy's mother to seek professional help, but she refuses. A petition to have Joe removed from the school was quashed in favor of an IEP (Individualized Education Program), which sometimes works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are (were) his only friends. As a family, we are compassionate and forgiving. Joe hit my daughter twice, but that was months ago, and she is willing to be his friend (they are in the same class). However, she is extremely sensitive to aggression; we don't even watch Disney movies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago, Joe hit my son in the park and hurt him pretty bad. My son doesn't want to be friends anymore which I agree with. Joe's mom wants my daughter to still be his friend; he has no others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The boy's mom asks if Joe and my daughter can have a play date at her house without my son present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have not responded to this request. Also, my daughter's birthday is coming up, and my son requests Joe not be invited.  Joe is aggressive towards my son in almost every social setting, but we do better in small play date situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) What can I tell the mom about Joe and my daughter having a play date (without me? of course not). My instinct is to say when he gets professional help, we can try again, but that seems too pushy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) What is your feeling about my daughter's birthday party? My instinct is to not invite him because it would definitely harm my son's experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit: 4/20/17&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The situation was resolved--mostly. We simply cut off contact. Joe's parents didn't object in any way; they've been through it before. He wasn't invited to my daughters party, but his mom and he briefly crashed to give a card. Joe invited us to his birthday. I dropped by with a card and $10 at the beginning without my kids. Nobody else came.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son wants to do Scouts. Joe's in Scouts. Perfect. At the introductory meeting, I saw Joe hit 4 kids including my son, and I wasn't even paying attention to him for the most part. I'm going to ask his parents to keep Joe away from my son, or I'm just going to start calling the police. (His dad is one of the scout leaders.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update 8/2019&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Joe has slowly gotten better with his aggression. However, I had to take a knife away from him at a Cub Scout event (in now the Pack leader). I talked with a classmate of his. I mentioned Joe seems to be hitting kids less. The boy responded, &quot;Yeah, but he wants to.&quot; Great. Joe and my son actually shared a tent at a Scout campout, and it went fine. It was out of desperation in frigid conditions. (May and October are not safe for consistent weather in the US's Upper Midwest.) We invited Joe to my daughter's 10-yo birthday, but we haven't had any play dates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastEditorUserId="20507" LastEditDate="2019-08-09T19:14:47.597" LastActivityDate="2019-08-09T19:14:47.597" Title="My son is being hit by a friend, and we need to discuss the situation with his mom" Tags="|friends|" AnswerCount="16" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24810" CreationDate="2016-05-04T15:59:53.250" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Say &lt;strong&gt;OW&lt;/strong&gt;.  She's probably hurting people's ears a little, though she doesn't exactly understand that yet.  But even at her age, she probably knows that &quot;OW&quot; signals pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's up to you to show her that her behavior is no good because it causes pain in others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;It's also probably ok to exaggerate for effect in this case, even if it doesn't cause you physical pain, it's good for her to understand that it &lt;strong&gt;could&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="226" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T15:59:53.250" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24831" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24838" CreationDate="2016-05-04T16:01:46.343" Score="0" ViewCount="474" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child has a phobia when diving his head down the water. Is there any entertainment exercise we can do or any other suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20945" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T03:31:32.713" Title="Child afraid from diving head into water" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24810" CreationDate="2016-05-04T16:11:10.287" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It just a phase; one of the random things she learned elsewhere. But how you handle it when she screams might be the reason why she keeps screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to refrain myself from criticizing other people's parenting methods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I can tell you hitting is not a good way, it probably will work due to pain; but the only thing you are teaching your child is that 'if you dont get what you want, you can hit people for it'. Then there will be a phase they will hit you or others when they get upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First thing you need to learn as a parent is; dont get upset/annoyed/bothered when they cry or scream at home or in public. We know how hard this sometimes can be, but remember you need to be an good example for keeping your cool. If you do get upset, then you are teaching them getting upset is normal. They will then do exactly what you dont want them to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, when they do something wrong and there cannot be any doubts about it. They need to be able to understand what you are trying to correct. Like screaming loud, throwing with toys etc.  You punish them by doing something they dont like. For example, I put my son in his playing corner /turning off the television / take away his toy / leave him in the hallway alone with doors closed etc.  Outside is bit more limited, but by putting him in his buggy / take away his toy etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you are teaching them is; there are consequences if you do something wrong or not behave and you cant do or get everything you want. Are those not the exact things we adults also have to deal with everyday?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son overreacts and screams, I just react by saying shhh very calmly and explain to him very slow and deliberately quiet. He calms down most of time. When you have conversation with someone and the other person is talking very loudly. If you reply that person deliberate quietly, he will reply less loud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few things I have learned being a parent is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dont always say no, being less strict sometimes works positively&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;keep calm and talk quietly although your brains tell you to scream&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;be a good example and be consistent&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;patience, it can take some time for him to know what is wrong&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;reward my son, when he does something good/nice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is a typical curious, loud, crying, naughty, things throwing toddler. But when we are outside compared to other children, he is never causing any troubles. He just listens. Maybe we are lucky or....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9214" LastEditorUserId="9214" LastEditDate="2016-05-04T16:16:10.407" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T16:16:10.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24831" CreationDate="2016-05-04T16:20:10.920" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just take him to the swimming pool as a family activity.  Don't make a big deal of it, don't even mention that you want him to go under the water.  Just play in the water, occasionally &quot;accidentally&quot; splashing him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are water toys (toy buckets, toy watering cans etc) that can be used to pour larger quantities of water.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him pour water over you, and occasionally retaliate in kind.  Get him used to having water poured over his head until he treats it as an occupational hazard of playing in the water.  As he grows more confident, you can push his tolerances a little more.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's how we got our youngest acclimated to the water.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end (and this may not be appropriate for your son), I picked up and threw our son, then whisked him out of the water right away.  He was under the water for less than a second but I used that as a building block.  &quot;See?  It's not that bad.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Patience, perseverance (and a lot of him soaking me) finally got him to the point where he was confident.  He's now swimming lengths regularly and loves playing in the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be honest, &quot;patience and perseverance&quot; solves a lot of child-rearing issues. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6407" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T16:20:10.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-04T16:23:30.560" Score="40" Body="&lt;p&gt;How you act in this situation depends a lot on how much you and your daughter want to see this friendship continue.  Make sure to evaluate this from the perspective of how it affects your children, not Joe.  I know this might come off as a bit heartless, but Joe isn't your responsibility.  Your children are.  As such you need to worry about what is best for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what you decide, bring up your concerns with Joe's mother.  Tell her you are worried about the physical and emotional well-being of both of your kids.  As long as Joe is aggressive, you can't have him near your son (and possibly your daughter).  Let her know that something needs to be done before you are willing to let Joe be with your kids.  You don't need to specify what has to happen, but you can lay out a completely reasonable expectation that whatever happens needs to assure the safety of your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she makes a reasonable effort to get Joe help, you can then decide if you are comfortable having him hang around your kids.  If she doesn't, or what she does is insufficient, don't allow your kids to play with Joe (hopefully it doesn't come to this, but you can't control what others will do).  Maybe this will help Joe and his mother to realize that something needs to be done and then Joe can get the help he really needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Addendum regarding the birthday party:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the birthday specifically, that gets tricky in that your daughter may want Joe there but your son clearly does not. If Joe's mom or someone could keep an real close eye on him (or if he can get some help prior to the party) you could allow it if you are comfortable (you will have to work with your son to help him feel safe). But again it boils down to taking care of your kids first and then what you are comfortable with. Trying to weigh your children's opposing desires along with your responsibility to your kids is really only something you can do. Talk it out with your kids / partner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2016-05-09T18:34:50.773" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T18:34:50.773" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24835" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-04T16:24:20.737" Score="76" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a professional, but my view is that you don't have any relationship whatsoever with a person who has harmed your children unless the wish for a relationship comes entirely from the child who was harmed, with no prompting or encouragement. Doing so delivers to your child a message that they're expected to accept abuse and allow abusive people to remain in their lives. This is not a good lesson for any child to hear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To clarify: I'm not saying you &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; maintain a relationship even if the child wants to; that situation is more complicated and it's not the OP's situation anyway. In other words, &quot;unless&quot; above expresses a necessary, but not necessarily sufficient, condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9837" LastEditorUserId="9837" LastEditDate="2016-05-06T01:06:12.780" LastActivityDate="2016-05-06T01:06:12.780" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="94" CreationDate="2016-05-04T16:26:06.740" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe she is playing with the sound of chewing. We adults ignore it; but chewing is quite loud for your own ears if you pay attention. By pulling, the sound changes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will know when your child have an ear infection, it will be pretty obvious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9214" LastEditorUserId="9214" LastEditDate="2016-05-05T19:21:27.740" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T19:21:27.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6518" CreationDate="2016-05-04T16:30:05.060" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's very easy actually. When your kid hurt herself, like falling, bumping table etc. You just say auw auw. Do it everytime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then next time when she hurts you or someone else, you say the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Soon she will understand the relation of auw auw and pain. At some point when she hurts herself she will also say auw auw.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9214" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-10T13:02:54.330" LastActivityDate="2019-05-10T13:02:54.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24838" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24831" CreationDate="2016-05-04T16:39:43.800" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my favorite diving games growing up was &quot;penny fetch&quot;.  My folks would toss coins into the pool and we were supposed to go down to fetch them.  Sometimes they would toss the higher denominations (dimes, quarters) into the deep end.  Since we sometimes got to keep the money we had incentive to learn to swim underwater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously harder to do in a public pool but usually other kids didn't try to &quot;poach&quot;, or if they did they would bring the pennies to the edge of the pool so they could be thrown back in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T16:39:43.800" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-04T17:10:58.617" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your kids' need to feel safe is more important than this other kid's need to have friends, and you need to tell the other mother that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T17:10:58.617" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24818" CreationDate="2016-05-04T17:16:14.637" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sleep deprivation really feeds into PPD. So the simplest thing you could do for her is to help her to have the opportunity to sleep as much as possible.  You giving the baby a bottle once in a while so she can sleep uninterrupted for a few hours could be really helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T17:16:14.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-04T19:04:17.693" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This boils down to how much your daughter is willing to endure to try to be this boy's friend. Is she afraid of being hurt herself? Is this stressful for her? How does she feel about the situation? The real determining factor is whether she is going to be better off doing this (feeling good about helping a friend) than she is going to be worse off (stress, fear, physical and emotional pain.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To a lesser degree, you should to consider the effect this will have on the boy and his mother. To date, it seems like she is in constant denial that her son has a serious problem. If you did cut him and her off from extracurricular contact with your daughter, that might be a bit of a wake-up call. It also might fuel their aggression. There isn't near enough information in this to determine which it could be. Predicting this outcome will help you determine what the effect on your children will be as a result. This indirect consequence is your primary concern - the effect on the boy and his mother is secondary only because it has a direct impact on yours. I'm not saying be heartless to the boy or the mom, but you have a responsibility to your children. How she handles hers is up to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, put the safety of your children first, including their emotional safety. I'm not saying we have to shelter our children from emotionally difficult situations, because they have to grow into adults, but if this boy is physically aggressive and has developmental problems then it's certainly possible he could resort to an emotional form of bullying that your daughter's 6-year-old self is not prepared for, particularly if he or his mom try to turn your daughter against you or your son. You wouldn't send a white belt karate student to fight Bruce Lee. Be sure to gauge what her level of competency is (before, during and after) and be ready to support her in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line: You don't owe this boy or his mother anything. You owe your children and yourself everything. I don't envy your decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="330" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T19:04:17.693" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-04T19:55:23.597" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tricky one indeed. Although I feel sorry for &quot;Joe&quot;, I can feel the anxiety this is building up for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His mom is clearly in denial- and I'm not sure what transpires behind close doors in their house, but am a firm believer in nurture over nature. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From Joe's perspective, it may be as simple as a case of jealousy - your daughter is his only friend, but your son gets to spend more time with her. Siblings tend to be closer to each other at this age, so Joe may be jealous of the additional time your son and daughter spend together, of which he can't be part of.  So it may be a simple primeval reaction - Worth mulling over....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMHO, the fewer social misfits we have, the better chance we have surviving as a species more than two generations. If you agree with this sentiment, this may be your social cross to bear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I was in your place, I would consider asking Joe's mother to tell him that your daughter is definitely his friend, but she's really sad that Joe hits her brother, and its not nice to make your special friends sad. When she's had this conversation, ask to meet with them (your daughter and you) and bring up the same topic. Hopefully he will see the light....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and we all need a little hope...&#xA;Cheers&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addendum:&#xA;As far as the birthday party is concerned that would depend upon whether Joe's mum communicated my suggestions above, and you all meet at a neutral place to decipher whether Joe gets it (even a little). I would suggest taking your son along and see their interaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that goes well I would consider inviting Joe, with a caveat - (which is clear to both his Mom and him), that if he hits your son, he will be asked to leave. However, before I would do that I would try and get a buy-in from your son - even if means a small bribe - an ice cream, him being able to invite one of his friends over, cooking his favourite meal.....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22036" LastEditorUserId="22061" LastEditDate="2016-05-09T17:23:11.683" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T17:23:11.683" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24796" CreationDate="2016-05-04T22:01:52.920" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have some experience with this as a parent! So speaking from experience: there is no set age at which you can tell what a child's sexual preferences, gender identity, gender expression, political tastes, favourite baseball team, or preference for cats versus dogs are/will be, but there is one critical thing you can do to make that age &lt;em&gt;earlier&lt;/em&gt; than it otherwise would have been. Some of those things in the list are facetious, some of them are likely nature, some are nurture, and others are choices, but all of them are affected the same way by doing this one thing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make sure your child feels confident and safe telling you about their life, thoughts, and feelings.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feeling safe and confident comes from knowing that they are loved and that they don't risk personal rejection for revealing something. How you react any time they reveal something they feel sensitive about is a test for the next time they have something on their minds; each time you react positively and without judgement gives them more confidence that you won't reject them, and makes it more likely you will be shared with in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So though there is no age limit, you can help ensure your child will reveal personal things earlier rather than later (perhaps much later), by ensuring they feel that they will always be accepted by and acceptable to you when they do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2888" LastActivityDate="2016-05-04T22:01:52.920" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-05T02:21:24.570" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't invite Joe to the birthday.   He won't have your daughter's full attention, and he'll get upset.  This will be setting him up to fail, and that's not what Joe needs.  (Nor is it what Joe's victim will need.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to do something special, invite Joe and his mom out to dinner for your daughter's birthday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22045" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T02:21:24.570" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24850" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-05T03:15:35.247" Score="3" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there family traditions or games or particular rules that help teach children about self-restraint, self-control, etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T18:22:22.803" Title="What are good family games to develop self-restraint?" Tags="|teaching|self-control|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24831" CreationDate="2016-05-05T03:31:32.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child was scared of water and I tried hard to get rid of his fear. I realised overdoing things to help him actually works opposite. So, no luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then my friend suggested to show my kid cartoons and animated videos and also videos from youtube that shows how babies and toddlers swim and play in the pool. My wife volunteered on this (I was in the bad books lol... ). He tried and we clapped! and  Hurrah! And finally, now, he is swimming like fish! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps!   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22049" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T03:31:32.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24853" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14554" CreationDate="2016-05-05T04:27:54.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a 14 year old boy and I'm pretty sure most people in 8th grade stay up past their bed times and just don't get caught. They stay up either because they do not want to be told what to do or want to show they can still be active the next day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And I'm reading this at 11:30 and my bed time is 10 and I'm not tired at this time and the first time I stayed up like this I wasn't tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22051" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-18T23:43:43.830" LastActivityDate="2018-04-18T23:43:43.830" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-05T08:22:30.907" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Joe hit my daughter twice&quot; ...  &quot;A few weeks ago, Joe hit my son in the park and hurt him pretty bad.&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;1) What can I tell the mom about Joe and my daughter having a play date (without me? of course not)? My instinct is to say when he gets professional help, we can try again, but that seems too pushy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say follow your instinct. It's not pushy to protect your own children from a bully, even if &quot;he didn't mean it&quot;. From what you said it sounds like Joe's parents have some problems in the way they are bringing him up. This is a concern, but there may be nothing you can do about it. Your duty is to your children, and if they aren't taking responsibility for their child's behaviour then that is their problem... If they continue to fail at educating Joe, it is likely the boy will end up as an abusive adult too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;2) What is your feeling about my daughter's birthday party? My instinct is to not invite him because it would definitely harm my son's experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow your instinct.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, if Joe really doesn't know that hitting people is wrong, and if reasoning with him really fails, I'd suggest the parents shoud use an appropriate level of &quot;old school&quot; punishment until he learns it is not right. Pain is an excellent teacher, and not wrong when used appropriately. I've seen it work on the worst kids in school... the only thing that pulled them into line was fear getting the cane, and when did get the cane once or twice, their behaviour improved substantially.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22057" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T08:22:30.907" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24850" CreationDate="2016-05-05T08:31:26.623" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Rewards are a good way to motivate children towards the kinds of behavior you want. Games or traditions which build in rewards work well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example of this is when I was little I had the tendency to talk non-stop sometimes, which really annoyed my family on long car trips. My family told me that if I was silent and didn't say a word they would get me an ice cream at the next Dairy Queen we passed. I had a burning desire to blab, but the thought of a reeses peanut butter cup blizzard was greater and it worked. They got peace and quiet and I got an ice cream, but I also leaned to be quieter that way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T08:31:26.623" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-05T09:57:11.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I back the sensible answer of a having a chat with the mother and gently but firmly suggest that play dates are barred until she does something about Joe behaviour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet, I would say you should invite him to the party if your daughter wants him. The party is a social experience much like school, where people you don't want to confront will be present. This is a common theme through life and mirrors the situation your son will soon be confronted with, meeting Joe in school. With the difference that you will be there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep a close eye and have a chat with your boy about the fact that you have to be able to appropriately confront with people you don't like. Discuss possible scenarios, maybe, but reassure him you will be there to protect him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22059" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T09:57:11.667" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-05T12:59:03.000" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seriously. It's important not to be wishy-washy about this. For me, the situation is clear: this boy is dangerous to both physical and emotional health of your kids. Stay away from this family altogether until they get their act together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We are (were) his only friends. As a family, we are compassionate and&#xA;  forgiving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By being these people's friends (which practically means having your kids around theirs) you are not being compassionate to your own kids, and you are not giving the mom consequences for not properly addressing her son's behavior. That's not helping anyone. How is the answer to stay away from these people not obvious? Stay away from him at school. Stay away from him outside of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT ADDED to respond to comment: You say &quot;daughter would be upset by the confusion of boundaries&quot;?? To me, the boundary is clear. I don't go near people who have shown a propensity to be violent towards me, and I don't allow them near me either!! In any way, at ANY time. I teach my children the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That they should AVOID and not go near people IN ANY CONTEXT when those people have shown violent behavior and they should (a) get away or (b) protect and defend their personal space using all means reasonably available to them if threatened. If someone like that comes near me. I speak up loudly, GET AWAY FROM ME. And if I have to fight to defend my ground, then I am prepared for that. Take her to self-defense classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Makes no difference whether it's the street, a classroom, or anywhere else. Another person has no right to enter your kids personal space unless they are comfortable with it. I teach my kids to honor their own space in just the same way as I honor mine. And I try to teach dealing with these situations in the same way that a sensible adult would deal with it - stay WELL CLEAR to begin with, AVOID at all costs, keep those known offenders AWAY FROM YOU, and be ready, well-prepared and able to fight (only if absolutely necessary)... is the most responsible course of action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22063" LastEditorUserId="22063" LastEditDate="2016-05-09T13:24:53.987" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T13:24:53.987" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-05T15:57:48.480" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago, Joe hit my son in the park and hurt him pretty bad&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does that mean hospitalization?  Was he sore for a few days after?  This statement is really difficult to analyze because it is vague to the point of me not understanding just what happened.  I'm not necessarily seeking to extend things by having you provide more answers, but I'm saying why I can't take this one particular factor into much account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not insist on professional help.  The abusive kid could have a religious experience and be completely transformed without any professional help whatsoever.  Or, improvement may come due to changes from another source which is external to his body, but still internal to his family: The mother may become more involved, based on her own recognition that she needs to do something different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, professional help could lead to him understanding his social responsibilities, yet ignoring what he was taught, and result in virtually no tangible improvement whatsoever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic point is that you have no right to dictate how the kid improves, which is exactly what you're doing if you demand that professional help be used.  What you need to demand are the tangible changes that you expect.  You can suggest a course of action, particularly if such information is solicited.  What you need to not demand, because making such a demand is crossing a line that you should not cross, is how they reach those results.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let their family decide &lt;em&gt;how&lt;/em&gt; they will achieve the desired results.  The part that you absolutely insist on is that the results are obtained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The boy's mom asks if Joe and my daughter can have a play date at her house without my son present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My questions: 1) What can I tell the mom about Joe and my daughter having a play date (without me? of course not)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be a bit of a cultural thing; I don't really understand this activity's concept too well.  You are well within your rights to deny your child of any activity that you are not comfortable with.  This remains true even when your kiddo is a teenager.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I have not responded to this request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is best that you do so, soon.  The longer that you wait, the more anxiety that builds up, further tense-ifying a situation for the other family, and thereby escalating this incident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Also, my daughter's birthday is coming up, and my son requests Joe not be invited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;2) What is your feeling about my daughter's birthday party? My instinct is to not invite him because it would definitely harm my son's experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son's experience?  How about your daughter's experience?  It is her birthday.  Let things primarily focus on what's good for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does she want to be friends with Joe?  Great.  It sounds like Joe could use a friend.  Your daughter should not be deprived of a good thing just because of detrimental but avoidable impacts upon your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get something else for your son to do, so conflict is avoided.  I don't mean grounding your son to his room for two hours.  That might work in some scenarios, but a party is a fun thing.  Don't make him miss out entirely; let him feel like he got to be exposed to the party, but get him extra involved.  Place him in some starring roles, like placing candles in a cake and carrying presents.  Explain that handing out drinks isn't necessarily work; it can be fun to host a party because you're the hero that is making other people's lives better, and the recipients will be appreciative (even if they don't immediately show it, and may not even immediately feel that way, particularly among children).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have some plans on how to effectively move your son anytime things get threatening.  Tell your son that anytime Joe says more than 3 words to your son, or gets within four feet, then your son should activate the backup plan by saying he has an activity to go to.  (Extend those guidelines, e.g. to more than 3 words, based on your own comfort level.)  And watch for accidentally-allowed violations, and be prepared to intervene.  Don't just plan to get in the way; know what good and positive thing your son will start doing instead.  Both your son, or you, ought to have full ability to start initiating the safety net at any time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is your party from 3-4:30?  Divide it into phases.  Let Joe's mom know that Joe is invited for the 3-3:40 events.  If Joe and/or his mom find out and questions arise, just honestly answer that you're not currently comfortable with Joe's participation with the other events, and so it will be important that he be picked up on time so that he doesn't need to be awkwardly excluded.  Say that the source of discomfort is the concerns caused by recent behaviors, and you look forward to the day when you trust situations enough that these types of concerns feel less necessary.  Let Joe and his mom determine how much impact this has on them, and them decide how to respond.  (Let them decide whether that ends up being a teaching moment for Joe, or not.  That opportunity is theirs, to focus on to the extend that they decide, and to handle in the method that they determine.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20100" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T15:57:48.480" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-05T16:48:28.523" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everyone has different opinions on what should or should not be done, but your primary focus needs to be on your kids. With all things &quot;relationship&quot;, I try to remember that &quot;I can not control others, only my self, &quot; and that &quot;We perceive only what we can perceive.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Essentially, you can't demand that the other party (kid or parent) do anything, all you can do, is adjust your (and your children's) behavior and reactions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So now you have to decide rather you want your children to deal with Joe, there are good things that could come from the interaction. So you have to decide rather it's a good move for your kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is, then go forward, and just make sure you can supervise the situation personally (it seems Joe's mom is not the best to supervise in your opinion). Think about what you want your kids to learn from the experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you decide no to go forward, then be direct. &quot;I do not want my kids to play with Joe, I find him to aggressive for my kids.&quot; It's perfectly fine to say. Don't try to demand a course of action, or that Joe's mom is doing something wrong, she (and Joe) need to figure this one out on their own. Remember you can't control their situation only your reaction. Be firm and direct, but not rude, or judgmental. Remember you can only make judgments for your family not theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I said some good could come from the interaction, and it's true, you should measure that. Weigh it when making your decision. You kids will have to learn how to deal with bullies, is this a good way to teach them &quot;bully management techniques?&quot;  Your son has made a decision, &quot;I don't want to play with Joe, he sucks.&quot; Your daughter has not, can you use the interaction to show that it's not ok to be on the receiving end of the bullying? Can you use the situation to show your daughter the value of being selective with party invites. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We live in a world with bullies, and violence. We can't ignore that fact, and just pretend we don't. Our kids will get hurt emotionally and physically, can't change that either. But we can use those experiences to demonstrate why we &quot;should do better&quot;. You need to decide it this is one of those times, or if the risk is too high. Either way, keep your decisions and actions based on your family. Things that you can do, or control. Don't try to &quot;adjust&quot; Joe's situation, they have to figure out that one.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T16:48:28.523" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-05T18:03:48.130" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I see it, the heart of your dilemma is that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You want your children to be safe, and feel safe&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You want your children to understand the value of compassion, and want to model that behavior by showing compassion to Joe, as you believe Joe is not intentionally a bully or violent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I applaud you for both of these goals.  Most parents get #1 intuitively.  #2 is a bit harder for some people to grok.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may also be a third factor here: that you genuinely want to help Joe.  Unfortunately, since you are not Joe's parent, there are limits to how much of that can (or should) be your responsibility.  You've already gone above and beyond, as far as trying to help Joe.  Your willingness to forgive and understand is more than the vast majority of people would do.  You've already witnessed this, as your daughter is his only remaining friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, painful as it may be to feel like you're &quot;giving up&quot; on Joe, you need to put what's in his best interests out of the picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, focus exclusively on your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son and your daughter will have very different needs for this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son feels threatened by Joe, and unsafe in his presence.  He needs to know that you support him.  Do not, under any circumstances, put your son in a situation where he may feel like he has to choose between loyalty to your daughter, and his own sense of security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If&lt;/strong&gt; you wind up with Joe being invited to your daughter's party (more on that to follow), make certain that you've structured things so that you can ensure that your son is separated from Joe &lt;strong&gt;at all times&lt;/strong&gt;.  Preferably without it being obvious to Joe that this is what you're doing... having the party organized into group or team activities, and ensuring that Joe and your son are always in different groups is an easy way to accomplish this.  Assigned seating at the table for cake, snacks, or whatever is also a good step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your daughter, whether she goes on a play date with Joe, or whether Joe gets invited to her party, should be up to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However... you've clearly done a great job of teaching your daughter to have empathy for those who have behavioral issues, but it is even more important that you help her learn where the limits of that empathy should lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At some point, being empathic can transition into being an enabler, or being a victim.  It is a murky line that can be a moving target, and learning when to say &quot;I've tried enough, and its just not working; now I have to step back before my attempts to help others becomes self-harm.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 6, it is unlikely that she'll really firmly grasp this concept.  But you can start the groundwork by talking openly with her.  Praise her for being a good friend, and wanting to help, but also tell her that if she ever feels afraid of Joe, then not only is it okay for her to stop being his friend, it is the the right thing to do, and that you'll love her and support her if she decides she has to do this.  Explain to her that even nice people sometimes wind up being bad people to be around, and while maybe they can't help it, it doesn't make it your daughter's responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her decide if she wants to go on a play date with Joe.  Definitely chaperone if she does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to her about her brother's concerns, and that if she decides to invite Joe, that the party will have to be set up to keep the two of them separate, so your son doesn't feel uncomfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd advise against saying anything to the mother.  At this point, nothing you say will be received positively.  If your daughter makes the decision to cut Joe out of her life, then you can simply tell Joe's mother that your daughter said she's not comfortable being Joe's friend anymore because of the way he treats her and her brother.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worst case, your daughter learns that not everyone can be helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best case, your daughter sticks it out, Joe learns how to control himself better, which is still entirely possible if he's only 6.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck to you and your family!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T18:03:48.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24850" CreationDate="2016-05-05T18:22:22.803" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;One custom we had at my house was that there were many manners to learn at the dinner table.  Each violation earned the offender 1 point.  At the end of dinner, the two kids with the most points washed and dried the dishes.  The one with the least points got to pick which of the two they wanted (wash or dry).  Things like &quot;elbows on the table&quot;, &quot;talking with mouth full&quot; and &quot;slurping&quot; were eliminated and mom didn't have to do the dishes.  Win for the parents :)  From this I learned to be watchful of my manners&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T18:22:22.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-05T21:26:13.770" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Does Joe want to come to your daughter's birthday?&lt;/strong&gt; (I guess so). Then, not being able to attend because he attacked your son should teach him a valuable lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on you, your son and your daughter wishes, you may be willing to finally allow him if he apologises, promises he's going to be nice to the other children (specially during the party), etc. And with the clear agreement from both Joe and his parents, that he will be expelled from the party if there's &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; unsocial behaviour from his part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11506" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T21:26:13.770" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24824" CreationDate="2016-05-05T22:46:52.560" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, we've tried something new:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When they're about to bite, we tell them to stop and to make a kiss instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to work pretty well, we'll see how this goes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22023" LastActivityDate="2016-05-05T22:46:52.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24824" CreationDate="2016-05-06T01:00:18.617" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, try to figure out the feelings going on that are resulting in aggressive behavior.  Work on resolving that and you will go a long way to solving the issue of biting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, when you're in the moment and need an immediate solution, place all the focus on what you do want instead of what you don't want.  So &quot;give me a hug (or kiss)&quot; or &quot;give each other hugs (or kisses)&quot; instead of &quot;don't bite&quot; will always work much better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it doesn't work, just keep them separated or whatever is needed to keep everyone safe.  Explain, gently, why you need to keep everyone safe.  But avoid scolding or shaming as that will make them feel worse (and in turn, potentially instigate more aggressive behavior).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, of course never hit or spank or bite them in any form of punishment or for any reason.  That just teaches that physical aggression is a way of solving problems, which is something they could eventually model themselves.  Hope that helps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22073" LastActivityDate="2016-05-06T01:00:18.617" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4185" CreationDate="2016-05-06T03:58:27.220" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my children is dealing with this same topic now. My child has told me that not only they &amp;amp; a few of my child's classmates feel like they are less than other kids, that the other kids in school look at my child like they are stupid. It has damage my child emotionally &amp;amp; mentally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I think kids should be pulled? Only if they're gifted &amp;amp; more advanced. If a child is falling behind, then have aides in the classrooms to help all students. Some people learn at their own pace, these schools are marking these kids &amp;amp; doing damage to them emotionally &amp;amp; that messes with their mind. So no pulling kids or sending kids to a classroom with just 1 to maybe 7 kids in it, it's not helping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child tells me that they want to cry sometimes cause it's affected my child so much in a bad way. The schools needs to come up with better ways to equip kids to help them instead of hurting them emotionally by singling them out. For some people emotional damages affects them mentally. How can kids have the confidence to feel like they can do &amp;amp; be anything they want if the schools are pegging them as stupid &amp;amp; hurting their self esteem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22074" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-05-06T11:15:23.757" LastActivityDate="2016-05-06T11:15:23.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24868" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-06T07:07:34.773" Score="11" ViewCount="3807" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my son was 2 he went through a biting stage which was fairly traumatic for us and I guess for the parents of those he was biting. We worked through it with the daycare and over a period he stopped doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, one of the children he was biting has also ended up being friends with (they are 5 years old). However, the parent of this child has never liked our child and at that time was trying to get him removed from the childcare. Now, she won't even acknowledge my child when he comes over to her kid to talk, however if another of the group of friends comes over she is very talkative and encouraging to that child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, my boy wasn't invited to this child's birthday but I know another of the group of friends (they are a group of 3) has been. I'm also aware the mother of the other child is actively encouraging and establishing the relationship with the other boy and I can see that it is slowly isolating my boy, i. e. I know they invite each other over to play etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I encourage my boy to move onto other friends? How can I stop my son from being pushed out even though he won't realize? My boy will be starting school 2 months before this other boy however they are in the same sports team at the moment. There is a possibility I could get my child moved to another team so they aren't together?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To date I have only encouraged and been friendly as I was always of the understanding that you shouldn't force your kids away from friends. However, when it's the parent of the other child who is doing things that will isolate mine I'm not sure what to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2455" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-22T17:26:30.710" LastActivityDate="2018-07-22T17:26:30.710" Title="My 5-year-old's friend's parent doesn't like my child and I fear it might isolate my child after a while" Tags="|pre-schooler|friends|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4185" CreationDate="2016-05-06T09:49:55.357" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the fact that it does depend on the environment of the school, and also how the childs parents react, and peers outside of school, it can affect a child in different ways. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll tell you from first hand experience. It happened to me for Maths and is one of my more vivid memories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first I didn't want to, some of my friends weren't going to the same class I was, and I wanted to stay sitting next to them. It felt like getting drafted for war, I was comforted by the fact that &quot;don't worry i'll see you at break!&quot;. &#xA;Getting home though, my family were happy with me, I got to choose dinner (spaghetti) and got a new scooter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back at school I realised I didn't really talk to the others in the maths class much before. During the classes though, we laughed at the same things and it actually helped link myself and my friends at the time with the others who were in the class, and their friends outside of the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Outside of social changes, the different classes made me realise one thing. The teacher they brought in to teach the class was strict, but fair. I hated him. He made me realise, as a child, doing well get's you what you need to, doing poorly results in being replaced. That was the first time I truly felt pressure. Looking back it was definitely worth it, as it helped me mentally strengthen myself and become more resilient. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TLDR: Social benefits as you expose your child to more people, different kinds. Growth benefit, your child learns how hard/easy life can be, and they gotta do well to succeed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20829" LastActivityDate="2016-05-06T09:49:55.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-06T12:47:20.077" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What will you do if &quot;Joe&quot; will seriously hurt your kids, like poke with something in an eye?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't make your kids meet him, there is no reason for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If &quot;Joe&quot; will be unhappy, it is good for him - because unhappiness makes you think about your own behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22077" LastActivityDate="2016-05-06T12:47:20.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24340" CreationDate="2016-05-06T13:18:03.053" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can still give her PediaSure because this is the only product that she is into. And you said that this product let her grow and gave her a little weight. Just make sure, that this product she drinks does not give her some allergies. Why? Because people are always different in someways, sometimes a person can be good in some vitamins and some are not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additional: Please check the Nutrition Facts and seek advise from other Pediatricians.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(sorry for bad english)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22078" LastActivityDate="2016-05-06T13:18:03.053" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24873" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-06T18:53:59.727" Score="9" ViewCount="504" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Motivation&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a parent of a preschool-aged child in an urban region of the US. He'll be entering kindergarten in a year or two and we have a number of options for primary schools in the area, offering various programs and curricula (e.g., GATE, Waldorf, Montessori).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of these programs follow the practice of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loop_(education)&quot;&gt;looping&lt;/a&gt;, where students have the same primary instructor from year to year, potentially for as much as the first nine years of their classroom education. I have no direct experience with looping; when I was in elementary school, I attended what I consider to be a more traditional program, with teachers assigned to particular grade levels and students changing classrooms and teachers each year upon moving up a grade.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Problem&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how to evaluate looping as a component of the programs available to my son starting in kindergarten. Kids can have better and worse relationships with their teachers—and so can parents. It seems obvious that looping would provide very different experiences, when the student and teacher are together for many years, based on whether these relationships are particularly good or bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The potential benefits of an extended positive relationship seem attractive but I had more than one negative experience with a teacher when I was young, where I felt like I just had to survive and cope with the bad relationship until the year or semester ended and we could both move on. Not having the option to do that, short of changing schools (definitely undesirable), seems alarming to me, especially in the first few years of a kid's education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looping is particularly emphasized in the Waldorf approach, where students may stay with the same primary instructor for 6 to 12 years. (From what I've read, the latter extreme seems more common in European than in American Waldorf schools.) There's some quantitative research around the effectiveness of Waldorf methods (e.g., examining student creativity&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;, science education&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt; or implementation in a public setting&lt;sup&gt;3&lt;/sup&gt;) but, while looping is suggested as an area for further research&lt;sup&gt;4&lt;/sup&gt;, the papers coming up on a &lt;a href=&quot;https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&amp;amp;q=education%20looping&quot;&gt;Google Scholar search for &quot;education looping&quot;&lt;/a&gt; haven't been helpful. Most are not available to me to read and/or focus exclusively on the minimal version of looping, where the term of the student-teacher (and -parent) relationship is extended only to two years total. In our case, there is no real middle option of only looping for two years; either we can choose a traditional program with new teachers every year, or programs with what I'll call &quot;extended&quot; looping of six or more years with the same teacher (à la Waldorf).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How are educational outcomes for primary schoolchildren affected by this practice of extended looping?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My spouse and I consider the cost of changing schools outside of the normal transition years between primary and secondary schools to be very high, based on our own experiences as children. This makes where to start school a particularly important choice we're making on behalf of our child, so we need to consider evidence-based implications for any and all areas of development (not purely academics).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;References&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED400948.pdf&quot;&gt;Ogletree, E. J. (1996). The Comparative Status of the Creative Thinking Ability of Waldorf Education Students: A Survey.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.csus.edu/indiv/j/jelinekd/Publications/WaldorfScience.pdf&quot;&gt;Jelinek, D., &amp;amp; Sun, L. (2003). Does Waldorf offer a viable form of science education. &lt;em&gt;Sacramento, CA: CSU College of Education.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://edpolicy.stanford.edu/sites/default/files/publications/scope-report-waldorf-inspired-school.pdf&quot;&gt;Friedlaender, D., Beckham, K., Zheng, X., &amp;amp; Darling-Hammond, L. Growing a Waldorf-Inspired Approach in a Public School District.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED498362.pdf&quot;&gt;Oberman, I. (2007). Learning From Rudolf Steiner: The Relevance of Waldorf Education for Urban Public School Reform. &lt;em&gt;Online Submission.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22083" LastEditorUserId="22083" LastEditDate="2016-05-06T19:05:39.423" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T18:23:49.007" Title="Does extended looping improve student outcomes in elementary school?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24874" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24873" CreationDate="2016-05-06T22:29:58.847" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking unscientifically, my wife is an elementary educator who teaches in a combined 4th / 5th grade classroom with divided curriculum. She has seen substantial growth when her kids in these classes retain her for consecutive years. Children who don't play well with their teachers tend to lighten up to them within the first half year they have them. While that may seem like a long time for a student to misbehave or act out against the teacher, once they approve they become much more respective, attentive, and their grades seem to vastly improve over where they were when they first entered. Second year was always easier. She has never had them extend beyond 5th grade though because her school is k-5. I would be curious what the outcome would be if she was able to have them much longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even more curious would be the structure of the teacher. Do they start at one grade level then move up the ramp so they can move with the children or are they teaching multiple grade levels with divided attention? I'm sure the answer to that varies depending on the nature of the program. Public education most likely does not do that, but a private school might.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If 2 years data is any indication, I would say it seems largely beneficial to loop. But I can't speak for extended. Good question though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastEditorUserId="22083" LastEditDate="2016-05-09T17:22:17.083" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T17:22:17.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24876" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-07T03:03:30.270" Score="6" ViewCount="1389" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a teenager now, unlike when I was young, has some differences regarding communication regarding mobile phones / internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have noticed some strange behavior in teenagers (around 15), which I find a bit baffling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a mix of small things, so will list in dot point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Plans for meeting/catching up are often very vague/unknown, right up until the event.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Counterintuitively, contacting others seems to be quite hit-and-miss. When an event is disorganized - suggesting &lt;em&gt;&quot;Why don't you call them to find out whats going on&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, often gets some reply like...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;&quot;he doesn't check his phone&quot;&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;&quot;she's lost her phone&quot;&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A related issue, after-school classes, younger staff there may - for example, post on facebook when the stating times for the class change (with very little notice).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Not considerate of people who have to travel a long way, or plan lifts ahead of time!&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teenagers often don't know each other's home-phone numbers &lt;em&gt;(of course it's increasingly common not to have a land-line)&lt;/em&gt;,&lt;br&gt;&#xA;nevertheless - if they do, there may be anxiety associated to calling them...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(had calls where they person who called did not feel comfortable to talk so just hung up). Later I was told a friend called but was &lt;em&gt;'too shy'&lt;/em&gt; to speak.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, my impression is that many teenagers accept fluid &lt;em&gt;(read haphazard)&lt;/em&gt; plans where they don't like to commit to activities and instead choose to &lt;em&gt;&quot;play it by ear&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, since this is now an option; further, there are so many forms of communication &lt;em&gt;(phone, text, email, multiple social-media sites)&lt;/em&gt;, that ignoring them is accepted too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm told by my teenager that this is &quot;normal&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is this change in behavior normal/common, have others noticed this?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is this something that parents should try to prevent/mitigate?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Phone calls are just one way to communicate, and I get that there are all sorts of apps... however the result seems to be that young people &lt;em&gt;(in my anecdotal experience)&lt;/em&gt; have problems contacting each other reliably/effectively.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The teenagers otherwise seem fairly well adjusted and outgoing (involved in theater, sports, music).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This seems to be the case for both boys and girls.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not sure how this question comes across, but this isn't about being a &lt;em&gt;control freak&lt;/em&gt;, knowing if someone is/isn't visiting (e.g., should we get extra food, or tidy the the house :), isn't so unreasonable).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22088" LastEditorUserId="17352" LastEditDate="2016-05-09T16:17:11.957" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T16:17:11.957" Title="Are these strange communication habits of urban teenagers normal?" Tags="|teen|communication|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24879" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24968" CreationDate="2016-05-07T15:48:16.787" Score="0" ViewCount="704" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's 11 year old (male) friend, whom I will call Mike for the sake of discussion, is loud and rude. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the beginning of the school year, Mike asked me if I was willing to drive him home occasionally because he was left to walk 4 miles home (alone!) if I didn't drive him on the days his Mom couldn't drive him herself. It felt manipulative, but he lives close to me so driving him occasionally wasn't really a big deal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recently fell and hurt my back (herniated disk, torn muscle). My son asked if Mike could come over to our house to play. I was in so much pain, and unable to take pain killers because I had the carpool. I told them both I was in a tremendous amount of pain and just really needed to focus on resting, so, no, coming over was not a great idea at the time. Mike asked, &quot;come on, why not?&quot; Again, Mike is a loud kid. I told them I needed quiet time to recover. Mike said, &quot;what, like the sound waves are really going to hurt your back?&quot; How rude!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mike's Mom has yet to ever reciprocate and take the carpool. She didn't even help when I hurt my back. She expects me to drive her son, and even got miffed when my son was absent and Mike needed a ride. Like I was supposed to go get him anyway?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with Mike?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't want to tell my son who he can and can't be friends with.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I don't believe it's my place to correct Mike's behavior.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I just need to know how to deal with a rude 11 year old.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21997" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T18:59:09.127" Title="Problems with my son's friend" Tags="|discipline|friends|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24876" CreationDate="2016-05-07T16:58:16.290" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are interpreting things slightly differently to the way I would.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was young, there was no mobile communication device, so you planned your meetings carefully, sometimes with backup plans, otherwise you just wouldn't meet your friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nowadays there are so many ways to connect that it really doesn't matter if plans change, diversions happen etc. Even I now don't plan accurately, knowing I'll be able to turn up somewhere and communicate - possibly instantly, possibly delayed, but effective enough either way. The thing is that what you see as being unreliable or ineffective just isn't the case. It's just more relaxed because technology has removed the need to be so prescriptive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But all through my life, most of the families I knew (mine included) would get unexpected visitors, sometimes whole packs of kids would turn up unannounced, and they'd get fed and watered, and space would be found for them to sleep. This is not a new thing at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It definitely isn't something you should try and prevent, although I understand your concern that they may not be able to manage meetings or appointments that are strict, as they might have with a job interview or similar. Anecdotally, when advising my teenagers this, they are perfectly capable of hitting strict times when they want, so it's not even slightly a worry of mine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teenagers today communicate astonishingly well - they just use methods that aren't native to their parents' generation. It's normal. Don't panic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-05-07T16:58:16.290" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24882" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-08T00:54:03.783" Score="3" ViewCount="1750" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live with my girl friend and her 5 year old son, and my 7 year old daughter. Recently they were found in the closet suspiciously. Her son had his boxers improperly outside his shorts. So his mom asked him at bed time what happened? He said &quot;naked stuff &quot;. My girlfriend never told me she was expecting my daughter to bring it up and tell me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Couple days later it happened again they were playing in the closet. The next day my girlfriend asked her son what exactly went on. According to him he had his shorts down and my daughter touched his penis. I separately questioned my daughter about what had happened in the closet and she told me the same.. That her son was touching her private part. Me and my girlfriend are having problems over this situation. Suggestions of what should be done?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22102" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2016-05-08T07:41:29.813" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T23:48:18.873" Title="Finding out who initiated sexual contact. What needs to be done?" Tags="|age-appropriate|sex|sexual-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-08T07:50:10.147" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may seem late but I hope it adds help to what you have been told already. From what you are saying, Joe's mum is not putting enough effort to discipline her son. Your children need your maximum support and also you need to train them to do the following in the most responsible way;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They must learn to support each other. How? If one hurts your brother and emotionally ruins your party for your brother you are better of supporting your brother by not inviting that person. (You can use your own ways to pass this kind of lesson to both your children)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They need to both understand that Joe is having problems that they cannot fix by being friends with him or nit being friends with him however being friends with him is currently not the best. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;They must stand up for themselves by not being afraid to escape because for someone to hit anyone pretty badly, the victim may have not had a chance to even run to the safest nearest place or adult. This one is hard to put across but its never coward to run for your life. Tell your kids to make themselves safe enough between the park and the nearest help they can get. If a child knows this he or she will do something. Maybe engage Joe if it is the only way to be safe. I am not saying teach them to take on the guy but maybe equip them with skills that ensure noone can be confident to attack them. There is self defence in a short sprint. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for agression in movies a day will come when they can have enough to watch things and understand that its just a business like selling bread. You don't have to worry about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally I wish you the best in making sure your children understand that you are there to support them and protect them from harmful people. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22106" LastEditorUserId="22106" LastEditDate="2018-12-07T21:52:27.073" LastActivityDate="2018-12-07T21:52:27.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24885" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24886" CreationDate="2016-05-08T08:30:16.010" Score="1" ViewCount="752" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today I sent my child a link to a report about a boy, who&#xA;has created a commercially viable videogame. My son replied&#xA;that he may intend to do something similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked him about the bottleneck of this project - what&#xA;prevents him from making progress, but he didn't have an&#xA;answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Judging from his behavior (the amount of time he devotes to&#xA;playing Minecraft, making videos about it, trying to program&#xA;in Minecraft using command blocks), he actually may have an&#xA;inclination in this direction (game development).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the best ways I can employ to help him find out,&#xA;whether this field is actually his destiny?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: I believe that the only way to find out one's passion&#xA;is to do something, i. e. in this case - develop a game. In&#xA;other words: You can only find out &lt;strong&gt;empirically&lt;/strong&gt; (by doing), whether some&#xA;activity is your passion or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a software developer myself and I've tried to teach him,&#xA;how to program plugins for Minecraft (using &quot;real&quot;, state of&#xA;the art technology), but until now he didn't want to learn it.&#xA;I decided not to pressure him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user14348" LastActivityDate="2018-11-19T16:11:27.477" Title="How can I help my 11-year old boy create his first videogame?" Tags="|pre-teen|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24885" CreationDate="2016-05-08T11:38:08.897" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://scratch.mit.edu/&quot;&gt;&quot;Scratch&quot;&lt;/a&gt; will allow you to create a simple videogame and get some experience with basic programming concepts. After that there are some good resources for starting Python &lt;a href=&quot;http://inventwithpython.com/blog/2010/09/27/i-want-to-teach-my-kid-how-to-program/&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-05-08T11:38:08.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24889" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24806" CreationDate="2016-05-09T06:02:40.473" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like classic ADHD symptoms, because it sounds like I was when I was that age to a scary degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My son feeds on bad attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, when I was acting like this, I just wanted any kind of attention. I found that if I misbehaved (trying to kiss the girls, throwing sand, interrupting the teacher), I got the attention that I wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;runs around the classroom, hard time sitting in his seat&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the Hyperactive part of ADHD, boundless energy coupled with the fact that your son literally won't remember or consider instructions that he is given by you or his teachers. Kids with ADHD have little to no impulse control, so he will think about doing something, and immediately do it without considering consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm constantly having the same conversations with him and repeatedly going back to disruptive behavior at school&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Linked to the above, because there is no mechanism for him to consider past situations before he acts, then there is little hope that he will change his behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saying to him 'Just behave normally', is like saying to an asthmatic who is having an asthma attack 'Just breathe normally'. Your son literally cannot do what you are asking of him. His brain chemistry is atypical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that this is a scary thing to consider, and that the literature around stimulant medications etc can be scary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In all honesty, I'm 23 now. I've been on Dexamphetamine since I was 8 after I was diagnosed as having ADHD. It worked for me (which is lucky because some people have to try different combinations of medications before they find something that works for them).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly, my school life up to that point was horrible. I was always in trouble (I spent most of pre-primary under the teachers desk in time out), I had no social skills, I got skipped ahead a year at school because I was bright, which then put me further behind in social skills, which meant I had no friends. I wish my parents had considered ADHD and medication sooner than they did, because not doing so caused our me and my family to be miserable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say all this because parents are usually resistant to hearing this, but what I think you should do is take your child to a paediatrician and get him assessed for ADHD or another autism spectrum disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I stress that &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; have done nothing wrong. &lt;strong&gt;You&lt;/strong&gt; are not a failure. Dealing with a child with ADHD is a tricky prospect, because you can yell and scream and punish until you're blue in the face, but it's not going to affect his brain chemistry, which is where the problem lies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is of course possible that I am completely incorrect, and that your child does not have ADHD, which is why assessment by a paediatrician who deals with childhood ADHD/Austism spectrum disorders is an important first step into investigating why your child acts like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13689" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T06:02:40.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24890" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24896" CreationDate="2016-05-09T06:15:47.517" Score="1" ViewCount="366" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been practicing &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;elimination communication (EC)&lt;/a&gt; with our daughter since she was about four months old. It's been a slow but steady path towards being diaper-free. At 14 months she went four days without peeing or pooping in the diaper or her pants, and she was very good at letting us know she needed to go. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, about two weeks ago (she's 15 months now) she suddenly stopped signaling when she wants to go, does not want to sit on the toilet, and pees and poops in her pants instead. It coincided with her starting to talk a lot and mimicking sounds and movements so it's probably some kind of growth spur. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anything we can do or should we just keep trying? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20732" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-25T11:59:09.803" LastActivityDate="2019-07-25T11:59:09.803" Title="Toddler stopped signaling when she needs to use the potty" Tags="|toddler|communication|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24829" CreationDate="2016-05-09T06:49:14.597" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Never knowingly expose your child to a person who is abusive, no matter how 'good-hearted' or 'unknowing.' Because my parents believed in 'forgiveness,' this happened to me repeatedly with a certain family friend as a child, who (all good-hearted, friendless, and unknowing) later sexually assaulted me, and this continues to affect me negatively as an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22119" LastEditorUserId="22119" LastEditDate="2016-05-09T06:54:21.457" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T06:54:21.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4059" CreationDate="2016-05-09T17:22:04.517" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We found this as we had the same last night. Our girl is about 8.5 months. On Friday she loved bath time as usual, Saturday we went out for our first overnight stay without her and left her at ours with her grandparents. They said she didn't like her bath time but swear nothing happened and I believe them.&#xA;On Sunday we went to bath her and she went hysterical, really scared, shaking uncontrollably and inconsolable for 5 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she calmed down we tried again and it was like the very idea of going back in freaked her out. She tried to climb up us to safety as we lowered her down and as soon as her toes hit the water she went nuts again.&#xA;We gave up that night and I googled so found this page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today (Monday) we put her in the bath with her toys and without water - she didn't like that at all at first but my wife got in bath and sat down with baby on her lap. After a bit she did eventually show some interest in her toys but never got off her lap (unheard of for her as she has been crawling/won't stay still for 2 months already).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later tonight we tried again and she didn't like being in bath without water but we derived to run a bath anyway and my wife got in first before I handed her our daughter. Little by little we were able to distract her, sponge her. When we tried to get her to stand in the water she didn't like it so my wife picked her up again and soothed her. We tried again and this time progress she was OK. Long story short by the end of that bath time she was sitting &amp;amp; playing and happy in the bath again. My wife even managed to get out the bath and our daughter remained happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So relieved and hope that means tomorrow's bath time will be back to her normal happy time. Will post back if not&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22130" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2016-05-12T01:23:24.817" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T01:23:24.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24890" CreationDate="2016-05-09T17:26:26.237" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, congratulations for your success with EC so far. My son started potty training around 32 months, which seems to be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livestrong.com/article/121054-average-age-potty-training-girls/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;very close to average (girls tend to be a bit quicker)&lt;/a&gt;, so you've made tremendous progress despite the current situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This sounds like a typical example of the &quot;two steps forward, one step back&quot; pattern in your child's development.&lt;/strong&gt; I've heard it called a &quot;wonder week&quot;—that point in your infant or toddler's life when a developmental breakthrough is accompanied by misbehavior or an apparent loss of ability in some other area. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&amp;amp;np=122&amp;amp;id=2312&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Women and Children's Health Network sums up the idea well&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sometimes babies or young children will seem to have gone backwards in&#xA;  their development. In fact, they are making a big step forward, but&#xA;  this step is confusing to them, and they may behave more like a&#xA;  younger baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once I learned about this pattern, I began to recognize it over time in my son's behavior. You can find charts that claim to pinpoint the most likely ages, down to the week, for various developmental milestones and accompanying mood patterns—but every child is different, so those are most useful as an illustration of what &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is a little confused or distracted by the language and motor skills she's learning right now, the best thing you can do may be to &lt;strong&gt;moderate your response to her accidents and keep encouraging her in both her new areas of development and her previously acquired skills.&lt;/strong&gt; She has &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; lost those skills! She's just suddenly got more things to process than she can deal with all at once and her brain is prioritizing her exciting language discovery over less-exciting poop and pee. (Can't fault her for that!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you talk with her about parts of her routine—eating, playing, using the potty, sleeping—you'll be naturally linking her new language skills to her specific potty routine and incorporating them into her general daily routine. Routine is extremely important to infants and toddlers, yet it's constantly being disrupted by growth and discovery. Two steps forward, one step back. (Yes, sometimes it feels like the reverse.) In short, keep at it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;More on Responding&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to revisit the idea of moderating your reaction to accidents because that's less natural and possibly more important. Given you practice EC, you may have already heard this but it's worth repeating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever our expectations are not met or we are surprised by a change, we naturally get disappointed, frustrated, angry or anxious. We're no different from our kids in this way, except for having had a lot more time to build and practice coping skills. The thing to avoid here is contributing to your child's fear and anxiety, which can happen if you let your feelings lead you to scold or shout. You want your child to learn to communicate her feelings verbally, so model that behavior to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way I personally approach this is by choosing to say &lt;em&gt;I'm disappointed&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;I'm angry&lt;/em&gt; and using my face to communicate concern. I try to avoid angry gestures, grabbing, stomping around, slamming doors, shouting—things I don't want my child to learn from me. I try to avoid accusatory responses like &lt;em&gt;you did something very bad&lt;/em&gt; and favor naming and identifying what happened and identifying the natural consequence—&lt;em&gt;oh no, you had an accident, now we need to clean up.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Escalation&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two weeks doesn't seem unreasonable for this sort of behavior. When my son's sleep patterns changed around the time of a developmental breakthrough, they sometimes would stay changed (i.e., waking up a lot) for a month or more. We might expect a child to have a little more control over a daytime behavior than over sleep patterns, though, so if your daughter's potty problem shows no sign of improvement over the next week I'd definitely look to escalate my response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To do this, I'd start emphasizing consequences a little more, favoring natural consequences but also introducing imposed consequences. (This technique is characteristic of the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.loveandlogic.com/parents/what-is-love-and-logic-for-parents&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Love and Logic&lt;/a&gt; curriculum.) For example, &quot;now we have to clean up&quot; is a natural consequence. My son is a big fan of his &quot;big boy underpants&quot; so an imposed consequence for us is sometimes that he can't have another pair after he has a poop accident (until after bed or naptime). This works particularly well for us because it's reinforced at his daycare, both by social pressure and a rule that two accidents in a day means you go back in diapers for that day. If you can identify a good opportunity to reinforce the same lesson in different contexts, go for it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The point of escalation is mainly to avoid your daughter becoming comfortable with having accidents and deciding to make them part of the revised routine that her language discovery is forcing. I'd try to escalate slowly and consistently; again, to avoid contributing to your child's fear or anxiety (not productive for coping or growth). If the behavior hasn't corrected by the next time you attend a regular check-up or well baby visit with a family doctor or pediatrician, then I would bring it up at that point for some professional advice. You could potentially end up with a referral to a behavior specialist who can guide you all through some more focused program, if necessary. But that seems unlikely enough that I wouldn't make a specific appointment for it at such a young age, even if it means waiting another three months until her 18-month visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22083" LastEditorUserId="22083" LastEditDate="2016-05-09T17:33:02.653" LastActivityDate="2016-05-09T17:33:02.653" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24898" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-09T23:11:35.943" Score="4" ViewCount="1054" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are there circumstances under which it is advised to pasteurize breast milk (excluding donations)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21901" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-05T13:37:02.667" LastActivityDate="2018-12-05T13:37:02.667" Title="When should breastmilk be pasteurized?" Tags="|safety|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24873" CreationDate="2016-05-10T00:53:59.510" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My experience with looping comes from my own experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I attended school in a place where you had the same teacher year after year, in the same subject, but different teachers taught different subjects. Some teachers taught more than one (my Math teacher was also my Science teacher). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having kids in the US, the one teacher per grade really bugs me. To me it is a huge disadvantage to see the same teacher so many hours per day, every day. There is no mitigating factors if a teacher get upset with a student. There are also no mitigating factor if a teacher is having a rough time (like a personal tragedy)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am also concerned about the fact that one teacher has to cover a breath of subjects. Where I grew up, teachers usually specialize, they are a Math teacher. My English teacher would not be able to teach math, and vice versa.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IF looping is one teacher only, for all the years of school, every day, I would think that it would make the issues I see with 'one teacher per grade' WORSE. &#xA;How can they specialize? How can the not grow tired of some of the kids?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you have multiple teachers, I personally found it HELPFUL. I had the same math teacher for 9 years. He was awesome, and he had very high expectations of his students. He knew us all. In the last year, he knew who we was and what we needed to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some teachers only did half the grades (0th-5th, 6-9th for instance), but you still had an extended relationship. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many of these teachers watched us grow from kids to adolescents, and I think the stability helped. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastEditorUserId="9248" LastEditDate="2016-05-10T18:23:49.007" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T18:23:49.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24900" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-10T02:45:34.000" Score="2" ViewCount="619" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 5-year-old son and my wife is pregnant with a second child. Our son asked us how the baby got inside of her. Should I give him the talk? If so how much detail should I go into?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22136" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-15T12:18:44.083" LastActivityDate="2019-08-15T16:45:04.047" Title="How to give a 5-year-old &quot;the talk&quot;?" Tags="|primary-schooler|sex-education|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24901" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24900" CreationDate="2016-05-10T10:53:12.823" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are already giving it more importance than it has by calling it &lt;strong&gt;The Talk&lt;/strong&gt;. It's such a big deal to you (and many more parents) just because you want it to be so. Treating sexuality as something &lt;em&gt;Top Secret&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;Super Important&lt;/em&gt; while it is just another thing, it's a mistake as, what will happen in the future to your kids, is the same happening to you right now, you don't feel comfortable talking about it. And in most cases, this is the main reason why children are sexually uneducated, because their parents are afraid to talk about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;My suggestion&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to make a change here and let your child be different and more mature, go ahead and talk with him about it without fear, don't give it the importance it hasn't and let him speak aswel, let him ask and be curious as far as he wants to know more. Maybe, as @anongoodnurse said, he does not really want to hear a lot, just a tinny bit of information will satisfied his curiosity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22142" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T10:53:12.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24902" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-10T11:15:34.113" Score="4" ViewCount="716" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question has been on my mind for a long time now since I saw my aunt talking to my little cousin (let's call him Luke) a while ago, in a way treating him as &amp;quot;stupid&amp;quot; (I've tried to avoid saying &amp;quot;stupid&amp;quot; but I can't think of another way of explaining it).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, when I'm with him (he is 7 years old now), we talk about a lot of stuff, the universe, videogames, films, cartoons, all the things we both like. I'm more than 10 years older than him but I still talk to him as I would talk to any other human being and I feel that he enjoys being treated like this instead of the way that parents normally do with their kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example of this behaviour happened recently:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were having lunch together, he was sitting next to me while his&#xA;mother was in front of him. He said that he was going on a trip&#xA;with his school next Friday to see an important book (let's call it &amp;quot;X&#xA;Book&amp;quot;) at the town hall. I didn't know what it was so I asked him&#xA;like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is the X Book, Luke?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, after him not responding for a second, his mother asked him&#xA;the same question, only phrased differently, like this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Yeah Luke, tell us all what the book is about and why it's so important.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Something close to a teacher proudly asking a question of their most advanced student.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What happened next was him feeling shy as he was suddenly the centre of attention and then leaving the table without saying a word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really hard to explain by writing but I guess some of you may have experienced this as well and know what it looks/feels like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, the question is, why don't parents treat their children normally instead of doing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22142" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2017-02-12T22:00:00.663" Title="Why do parents talk to young kids the way they do?" Tags="|education|parents|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24903" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24908" CreationDate="2016-05-10T12:43:07.827" Score="-1" ViewCount="743" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a friend say:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;That kid is so relaxed. He's easygoing and comfortable in his own skin. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;How do I help my kids &quot;feel comfortable in their own skin&quot;?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T06:08:48.150" Title="How do I help my kids &quot;feel comfortable in their own skin&quot;?" Tags="|self-esteem|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2016-05-17T21:17:35.897" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24904" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24909" CreationDate="2016-05-10T13:07:10.033" Score="4" ViewCount="1051" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4.5-year-old son has recently been getting into trouble at nursery. On three separate occasions now we have been called in to speak to the teachers there as he has done something naughty. This has included spitting milk in another child's face (one of his friends), and hitting a younger child in the face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems like every time he does something naughty, it is in response to something another child did. So he only spat milk at his friend because the friend did it to him first. And he only hit the smaller child because they hit him first. The problem is, he is huge for his age, and at some point if this carries on he could really hurt another child. He will also be starting school in September and we do not want this behaviour to continue there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the most part, he is a lovely, well behaved boy. He eats and sleeps very well. He is just extremely confident, almost to the point where he thinks he is the one in charge! This makes it difficult to explain to him when his behaviour is unacceptable, as he thinks he knows best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the first incident, we introduced a reward chart. Whenever he has been especially good, he gets to add a sticker, and when he has enough stickers he gets a treat (normally a new toy). While this seems like a good thing to do, I don't really think this has had a positive effect on his general behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the second incident, we tried some punishment (no books at bedtime, which had a huge impact at the time as he loves his books). But I'm not sure this works as all seems to be forgotten after a day or two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should also mention that there have been no recent changes in his life that are likely to have caused this behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else can we do to address this retaliatory behaviour?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22143" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-11T12:04:32.233" LastActivityDate="2019-07-11T12:04:32.233" Title="What to do about an overly confident 4.5-year-old who retaliates at nursery?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|daycare|violence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24903" CreationDate="2016-05-10T13:23:29.107" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your kids are a copy of you and the world that's around them. If you speak English, so do they. If you do sports, they do it as well. If you are &lt;code&gt;comfortable in your skin&lt;/code&gt;, they will be too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And apart from that, it's all about talking seriously &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; them. It should be a conversation, not a lecture. Always try to avoid talking &lt;strong&gt;at&lt;/strong&gt; them, and instead talk &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22142" LastEditorUserId="22143" LastEditDate="2016-05-10T14:48:07.493" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T14:48:07.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24902" CreationDate="2016-05-10T13:23:32.323" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My background: I can only speak for myself as I've witnessed described behaviour several times but never spoke up and ask why they do so. My daughter is 3 years old, it's about 6 months that she speaks more than one word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Current situation: When I talk to her most of the times I do it like I would with anyone else. But there are times when I'm not sure if she's able to comprehend what I say, and it's exactly these times that I use the &quot;stupid-language&quot;. Let's say I wanted to tell her that she can't use toy X anymore cause it's batteries are drained. She doesn't know what batteries are as well as the basics of electrical current. Instead of thinking of examples like an empty glass of water representing the battery I start by using the same elevated vocabulary but in a &quot;stupid-language-sentence-frame&quot;, then realize that what I'm saying sounds very stupid and doesn't help her at all. Most times I stop at that moment and rephrase with real world examples she knows in a totally normal way and most times she understands perfectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Conclusion: I think those people don't realize how smart kids are and never thought about/reflected on what and how they are talking to kids. I really hope that those people you mean don't do that all the time but only when explaining stuff they think might be hard to comprehend. To be a little exaggerated: The road to hell is paved with good intentions (I bet kids learn proper speaking quicker if they are talked to in a normal way).&#xA;I'd suggest Luke talks to his parents and asks them to treat him like a normal person, at least regarding the &quot;stupid-language&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14139" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T13:23:32.323" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24903" CreationDate="2016-05-10T15:08:50.113" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I hear the phrase &quot;being comfortable in your own skin&quot; that means to me that you are comfortable just being you.  It implies feeling secure with who you are and not always being cognizant of what other people might be thinking about you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Love and accept your child for who they are.  Teach them that it's ok to like what they like or to dislike things others consider normal.  For example, if your son would rather play a musical instrument than play football, that's ok.  It doesn't matter if other boys tease him because he's a &quot;nerd&quot; for liking music and not sports.  Teach your son that other people's opinions about him don't matter all that much.  (This isn't to say that he should be inconsiderate of others or has a license to act inappropriately, just that certain aspects of who he is are things that no one can tell him are &quot;wrong&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To reiterate, just love him for who he is and encourage him in whatever he does.  If he likes to be funny, encourage that.  If he likes sports or music, help him pursue those.  As long as you love him and he learns to love those things about himself, he will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T15:08:50.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24904" CreationDate="2016-05-10T17:20:23.090" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've got a child about the same age and about the same size, and I definitely understand the difficulty you're having.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, don't expect to have a 100% perfect solution.  &lt;em&gt;All&lt;/em&gt; children misbehave from time to time - it's how they find their limits, how they find out what is okay, and how they find their self identity.  A child who &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; misbehaves would be a child I'd worry about more than one that misbehaved a few times.  It's a matter of making sure they understand their limits, and making sure the significant misbehavior is infrequent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Punishments significantly after the fact nearly never work.  Punishments in general have limited utility, and the amount of time must be &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; short between the action and the punishment for it to do anything at all except confuse the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's key here is helping your child understand his limits, understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they're there, and understand how to properly act when confronted with a challenging situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, try to understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he took the action he did; that makes a huge difference as far as how you proceed.  Did he spit the milk at the other child because he was offended at being spit at?  Or did he spit the milk because he saw the other child doing something silly and wanted to copy?  Or something else?  How you address it with him depends on what he's thinking.  Both actions are wrong, but the motivation drives &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they're wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, once you understand why he took the action, ask if he understands why the teacher/you/whomever was at hand when it happened didn't like the action.  It's possible he already understands this, so it's best if you check.  Don't push him here, though - the idea is not really to make him tell you - just to make sure you're not repeating something that's unnecessary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, assuming he doesn't already understand why it was wrong, explain why.  Not using words like &quot;Your teacher told you not to&quot;, but the real, underlying why.  You don't spit milk because it makes a mess of people, and if done aggressively can make them feel bad. You don't hit because it hurts people and makes them feel bad.  Try to make sure he understands and empathizes with the other party - how would he feel if someone hit him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, and this probably should be the majority of the discussion, help him find alternate ways of dealing with the situation.  If he hit someone because they hit him first, help him develop strategies for what to do when he's been hit.  Tell the other person that he doesn't like being hit, and to please stop.  If they don't stop, find a teacher.  If they're actually hurting him, use minimal force to extract himself and find a teacher.  (Usually, bigger kids don't have to take that step, and 'minimal' is important here.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping him develop strategies for dealing with situations like this, and practicing them, is extremely important.  It not only helps him deal with stressful situations in a more calm manner, but it also helps him develop strategies of his own if you work with him to develop these strategies (as opposed to just telling him what to do) and explain the reasons why he should do things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as being the one in charge - again, fully sympathize with you there.  My four-and-a-half year old does too, sometimes, and it's challenging for him to deal with authority. Here again, though, you can work with him to understand why he needs to respect those in authority - talk about what 'anarchy' is, what might happen if nobody respected the folks in charge, and how he can manage his relationship with authority figures to his own benefit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T17:20:23.090" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4053" CreationDate="2016-05-10T17:26:19.743" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have found that taking my 18 month old son out to the car with daddy when he is about to leave relieves the issue. I hope this helps :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22145" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T17:26:19.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24911" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4053" CreationDate="2016-05-10T18:35:18.463" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What works for us is to set expectations far ahead of time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;in the evening:&#xA;Tomorrow is a work day, daddy will leave for work before/after you have had breakfast (or whenever). He will be back tomorrow night by dinner time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the morning:&#xA;I will leave soon/after breakfast, today is a work day. (repeat, countdown). I will be back by dinner time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT. Set expectations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point out differences when not working:&#xA;Tomorrow is not a workday, I am not going to work. I am going to be home all day/I am going to run errands in after lunch/etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, set expectations, and do not think because they understood yesterday means they understand today. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone has to leave for business travel, we talk about it days ahead. Every day we repeat that mommy/daddy is not home tonight, and when they will be home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course it is important to try and do your best to live up to these expectations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-05-10T18:35:18.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24912" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-11T05:55:47.920" Score="3" ViewCount="2970" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 7 year old seems to be afraid of a lot of playground equipment. It's not the height so much as I believe that he's afraid of falling and getting hurt. (He'll climb up tall stairs and go down tall slides, run across high bridges...) We were at a playground recently where they had a wall climb, monkey bars, a mini zipline, hand over hand bars (I never learned what those were called, a twisty metal pole to climb and one of those rolling logs with the bar to hand on to. He wouldn't do ANY of it. He'd go to each thing like he was going to start, then he'd say that he was afraid and what if he fell??  I tried to reassure him that I was right there and would catch him and help him, but he was still really freaked out. How do I help him acclimate and learn to overcome his fear? He WANTS to, and I can see that he's very frustrated by his own feelings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22146" LastActivityDate="2020-06-29T09:19:20.767" Title="How can I help my 7 year old overcome his fear of playground equipment?" Tags="|emotional-well-being|anxiety|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24885" CreationDate="2016-05-11T06:01:29.853" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Apart from Scratch, there is another, more advanced system for teaching kids the basics of game development: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kodugamelab.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;KODU&lt;/a&gt;. Main benefit in comparison to Scratch: Ability to create 3D games (Minecraft-style).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user14348" LastEditorDisplayName="user14348" LastEditDate="2016-05-11T06:20:19.670" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T06:20:19.670" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24914" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24903" CreationDate="2016-05-11T06:08:48.150" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that teaching a child to be comfortable in their own skin is an organic thing and something that they truly learn from you. If they see that you are comfortable in your skin and with who you are, it's a sign to them that it's okay for them to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some other things you can do: &#xA;Be cognizant of body shaming language and try not to use it. Tell your child how strong their body is, bring attention to it, have them acknowledge it. This also goes with how flexible, etc. Praise things they like, even if you don't. I know that my son is heavily into dinosaurs and I often will compliment him on the amount of information that he is able to remember. I praise how smart he is in general when he shares information that I might not know. I encourage his passions and always let him know that his feelings and emotions matter and they aren't &quot;less than&quot; just because he's a child. I make sure that he knows it's okay to be proud of himself, it's okay to be a little different than others, to be an individual and we celebrate that......and all of these things lead to a child being comfortable with who they are as a person and in their own skin. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22146" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T06:08:48.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24900" CreationDate="2016-05-11T06:20:17.847" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children often are not looking for long, drawn out, &quot;THE TALK&quot; kind of answers to these questions. It's important to not lie (the stork put it there!) because that does nothing for their educational development, but it IS important to keep it age appropriate for understanding, and usually as brief as possible. My suggestion would be to find some age appropriate books on the topic at the local library or off of Amazon. There are literally tons. They can help, and in the meantime, make sure your child knows that your question is important to you and that you are going to answer it, that you want to make sure that you give him the right information first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22146" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T06:20:17.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24912" CreationDate="2016-05-11T07:13:17.143" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Acknowledge his fear. &quot;Wow, yes, it's huge isn't it? And it's pretty scary.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find out what result he is scared of - you've said it's being hurt if he falls, so check it is actually that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask him what he could do to avoid that happening. Then ask him if he can think of examples of risky things that he does safely or other things he does to keep himself safe (wearing a helmet when he rides a bike?) Remind him that there are things that are still a bit too dangerous for him - boiling a kettle unattended, or going high up a climbing wall without a rope - and then ask him if he thinks you'd allow him to do those risky things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start small.  Find a smaller bit of play equipment that he's comfortable with. Reward good behaviour.  Model good behaviour too - try the equipment yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After he's tried it ask how he feels it went; if he felt safe; what he'd change; then finish with &quot;Was it fun?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This answer very loosely uses concepts from &quot;cognitive behaviour therapy&quot;. There are emotions (fear) that are driven by hot thoughts (&quot;I'm going to fall off and hurt myself&quot;) supported by flawed evidence (you need to find out what the evidence is).  Your aim is to stop the hot thought happening, and to allow him to correct the flawed evidence with something more realistic, and to reduce the fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He should be doing most of the work - this process is not you telling him things but you helping him to discover these things himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's some information from the English NHS about anxiety, including anxiety disorders: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/anxiety-children/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/anxiety-children/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T07:13:17.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24272" CreationDate="2016-05-11T11:40:31.587" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The basic problem is that a twin brother or sister makes for an infinitely better and especially easier friend than all of those strange and unpredictable kids with their unfamiliar habits and ways of expressing themselves. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Single kids about that age have a strong drive to belong and thus are prompted to undergo the learning process of being social and interacting with other children, but your sons don't care to bother with all that difficulty, as they already feel perfect belonging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My twin boys would tolerate other children joining when playing in the Kindergarten (at 3 years old), but rarely initiate contact, preferring each other. This prompted us to separate them into different classrooms (actually the default policy in many Dutch schools) when they started at elementary school last September. They were not too happy about it at first, but were okay after discovering they could see each other during lunch break and outside time. It took a while (also 2-3 months), but both started showing interest in the other kids, asking to be allowed to go and play with them. They also were much calmer and participating in group activities more when apart than when together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest splitting up your twins only as a last resort, since after 4 months in school, it will probably be very difficult to do, as you're taking &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; of them away from all that's familiar in the school (and for some twins, this works out disastrously even from the start). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would suggest however is striving to get them apart from each other in smaller ways. Don't take &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; to the zoo to meet other kids. Take &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt; of them with one parent and take the other somewhere else. In our case, it was often one going out with my wife while the other would stay and &quot;assist&quot; me with some repairs or other interesting stuff around the house. Make it clear that each will get their turn at favorite activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't reveal that the goal is for them to be apart. Ever. Focus on how they get one parent all to themselves for day, how you really need a good helper, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your sons have any differing interests, use that to again provide for some time apart. They will probably resist being in different sports teams etc, as it's not possible to take turns. But if you get them in social situations by themselves, they will eventually start playing together and making friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastEditorUserId="21724" LastEditDate="2016-05-12T06:55:01.690" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T06:55:01.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24918" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24912" CreationDate="2016-05-11T13:00:19.520" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you do some research on risk taking in children.  Especially in recent decades, parents often unintentionally stoke this sort of fear by doing things like being &quot;right there [to] catch him and help him.&quot;  If you let them occasionally fall from a short height when they are three years old, they will be a lot more confident on the higher climbing walls when they are seven.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're always there to catch him, that shows him you don't trust his climbing ability.  If you don't trust his climbing ability, why should he?  Instead show him an example of fearlessness by either by going first and doing it yourself and expecting him to follow, or by removing yourself beyond arm's reach and looking unconcerned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T13:00:19.520" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24919" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-11T13:13:38.780" Score="2" ViewCount="428" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 9-year-old son. He is a lovely, sweet person with a great fondness for his friends. He is emotional, emphatic, smart and overall a nice kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today I learned that he is getting himself into situations which are not helping his social status. Since he is playful and loves his friends; he approached a group of friends and wanted to play but got rejected. Instead of leaving, however, he argued with them (&quot;asked why is he not being allowed to be a part of the group&quot;) and finally was pushed over, both physically and emotionally. This pattern may have been going on for some time since I also noticed he started nail biting again. (Which I take as a symptom of rejection in his social circle)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today I tried to explain to him that he needs to learn to be alone and only then will he be able to gain respect and be allowed back in a better capacity to groups. The way I see it, by trying to force himself into the group he looks needy and ends up being pushed over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I deal with this situation? I believe if I don't take action, this situation will impact his social aptitude and he will end up accepting &quot;a pushover role&quot; in his life, which I think is not very good for his well being as a person and his development. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22149" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-18T14:31:02.550" LastActivityDate="2018-05-18T14:31:02.550" Title="My 9-year-old son tries to force himself into a group of friends after being rejected and is pushed over. How to help him build character?" Tags="|pre-teen|social-development|friends|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24920" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-11T14:14:30.993" Score="4" ViewCount="590" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner has ADHD, she has stopped taking her medication for almost two years. As a result she developed a very selfish behaviour and our relationship has ended apart from the fact that we still live under the same roof with our two children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have agreed to let her stay (my house and I am the working one) because I don't want me to children to suffer. If I kick her out she would drag the children with her and go seek help from housing section of a city where her sister lives. She refused to give up on the children because she wants the benefits money. She wants to be close to her sister because her sister lives a (free) life on drug and has no responsibilities  after she abandoned her 4 children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarize it I accepted my partner under my roof because if she takes the children with her they will suffer lots and end up in a very unpleasant environment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The options I have:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kicker her out, keep the children with me. Not an option as I can't take of the children, I work for long hours, can't afford a nanny.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her leave with the children. Not an option as she wants to take them to a very bad environment. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her leave then report her to the social services, the children might end up in a foster and I cant have them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Report her to the doctor and inform them that she stopped her medication, the GP will contact the social services and they might take the children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The solution I came up with:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I let her stay, she takes care of the children and I pretend not to notice that she is sexting when she is in and cheating when she is out&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The problem I am having:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She isn't doing her duties towards the children, she is on the phone and playing Xbox almost 18 hours a day&#xA;Children aren't getting fed properly, they are dirty all the time, the house is extremely dirty.&#xA;She does not beat the children but they are severely neglected.&#xA;She refuse to take her medication, she becomes violent some time with me NOT with the children.&#xA;Some of her ADHD problems: she thinks it's normal to ignore all her duties, she blames everything on anybody but herself, she is very selfish as in using the children's TV or having their food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The question:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I report her to the social services? what that help in anyway other than having my children taken away from me and staying in foster care?&#xA;Or should I just live the solution I came up with? the children are not in foster care but neglected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Some facts to consider:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The children are 4 and 2 years old, a boy a girl&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My partner had a very bad life of neglect in her childhood and she has been raped by her biological father.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Her sister is a very bad influence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My partner is very known to the social services as she has abandoned other children she had from other relationships 5 times.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;One of my children is disabled.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We live in the UK&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22150" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T07:48:35.533" Title="Should I report the mother of my children to the social services?" Tags="|relationships|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24921" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24885" CreationDate="2016-05-11T15:19:01.367" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Adding another option, &lt;a href=&quot;http://store.steampowered.com/app/214850/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;GameMaker&lt;/a&gt; is also a fairly easy to get into program that is often used as a stepping stone for aspiring game developers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The base version is also free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T15:19:01.367" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24885" CreationDate="2016-05-11T16:20:21.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;That is a tricky one, as I think it boils down to, &quot;How do I motivate my child to actually do something he is interested in.&quot; You mentioned you have already tried, but he didn't follow through. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is all about motivation. I know personally, what motivated me to go to school and get into the Software Engineering field was working a crap job for a few years for minimum wage. Your child probably doesn't have that option :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, games are a tricky de-motivator. They seriously suck us in and that is all we want to do. I am projecting a little bit as I know I struggled for a long time to actual be an adult while playing games because I would be thinking of the next thing I wanted to do, and I would only halfheartedly perform my responsibilities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may also be too intimidated by the thought of actually writing something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say first (if you have not already), sit down with him and describe all of the plugins he may want to do in the Minecraft world. Next would be to sit down with him and you do the actual writing of the plugin with him next to you. Show him how you research the concepts you do not know. Show him how to put it all together. Constantly engage him and ask him questions about what he wants so he does not get board sitting next to you. Do not get his brain bogged down in the syntax he doesn't know, but in concepts of what he wants the plugin to do. He will &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; the excitement of making something from nothing.  Show him how to make the plugin available to other people, and if others like it, he will then &lt;em&gt;feel&lt;/em&gt; the excitement of being socially appreciated in a world that is important to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that may hook him into the concept of programming, and then it will be easier to then teach him how to program.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T16:20:21.483" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24912" CreationDate="2016-05-11T17:23:17.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would take a step back from the question and ask two (2) things: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Why does the kid need to play on the equipment? Do you want him to for social reasons (so he's not left behind, etc), physical reasons (this will teach him dexterity that will allow him to do x, y, z activity you have planned for him), or a psychological reason (physical confidence will make him confident in other areas in life)? This is a worthwhile distinction because the issue is (probably) not the playground per se, but some more profound value of yours that the playground stands for. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is mentioned in other answers, but what's he really scared of and what might have caused him to be scared of it? Keep that in mind and take baby steps. Again, this is explained in other answers.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IMO, I say ditch the playground and go do something else. No need reinforcing inadequacy, as he probably feels like a bozo watching all the other kids jump like trapeze artists. Go do something that makes him feel strong, something that he does fearlessly, something that excites him. And let him do it. Ask him to show you, ask him how he does it and why. See where I'm going with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ALSO, this is totally projecting, but I would say the best thing you can do for the kid is get out of his way. Don't follow him around the playground. He probably doesn't need a friend; he needs a mentor to challenge him and support his growth. If he asks you &quot;What if I fall?&quot;, laugh and smile and say &quot;I don't know, buddy.&quot; And if he says &quot;I'm scared,&quot; tell him the truth: &quot;Dude, I'm scared sometimes, too. But that's never a reason to not do something&quot;. I'm not saying ANY of this is easy, nor possibly to do perfectly. But it's 100% true in my experience that the source of most kid's neuroses and issues are their bumbling parents trying to protect them from the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and keep being an awesome parent! Your little dude is lucky to have you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19078" LastEditorUserId="19078" LastEditDate="2016-05-11T17:32:53.390" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T17:32:53.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24924" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24902" CreationDate="2016-05-11T18:34:18.047" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's great that you are able to connect with your cousin on this level.  It's really important for kids to have someone they can look up to and interact with on an &quot;adult&quot; level, but who may not have all the &quot;baggage&quot; that comes with being a parent.  Proud parents often can't help trying to showcase their kids and parents also forget that kids experience the world differently than adults.  They think they are doing their child a favor by putting the spotlight on them because when you are an adult having the world's attention on your accomplishments is seen (and felt) as a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As adults, we are constantly being told that we need to advocate for ourselves.  We have to showcase our accomplishments, put them out into visibility to get that promotion, get the votes, get the recognition.  Kids don't often need or want those things, their goals are different.  Attention from others, even if it is for positive things, can bring teasing from your peers or an excess of expectations from adults.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe Luke's mother doesn't realize that she may be embarrassing him by putting him on the spot.  It would be a hard thing for a 7 year old to articulate to a mom without sounding like he was rejecting her endorsement of him.  Maybe if you discussed it with him frankly (and privately, but without sounding like you were criticizing his mom) you could help him frame in his mind what was bothering him.  Let him talk about how he was feeling when it happened.  You may have to make some suggestions (&quot;It looked like you were feeling a little embarrassed...&quot;) because that might make him feel more like he has &quot;permission&quot; to feel that way, and to talk about it.  Then he might be able to explain it to her, and even if he wasn't, he'd probably be better able to cope with the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-05-11T19:53:25.967" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T19:53:25.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24926" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24776" CreationDate="2016-05-11T22:23:25.503" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure I can directly answer your questions, but I can provide some insight and experience.  I'm 29, fully independent, and survived having a narcissistic mother.  But, it wasn't without a price.  My relationship with my siblings is damaged as a result.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hindsight, I wished that I was the oldest (as opposed to the youngest) and that I implemented a strategy where my younger siblings and I spent lots of time together and had open communication with each other about everything including how they felt about our mother's behavior.  Our ages were a little spread out.  My sister, two years older than I.  My brother, 7 years older than I.  Growing up, I watched as my brother and sister had constant battles with my mother.  The tough battles between my mother and I didn't start until I was older and actually moved out of the house.  So it was easier for me to endure them since I wasn't under her roof anymore.  But I never had any help from my older siblings in dealing with her.  They were very selfish about it.  Hindsight, I think my mother actually turned me against my siblings.  She would constantly talk bad about them to me.  And it would give me a bad impression of them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure that this doesn't happen to your friend.  He will be MUCH better off if he's on good terms with his siblings in 10-20 years.  He needs to band together with his siblings and it has to start now.  They should always be in the top 5 most important people in his life and he should treat them that way.  He's the oldest so he needs to lead by example and take charge.  Ask them how they feel about the way their mother treats them.  Tell them he cares.  Give them a hug.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to pick and choose your fights wisely.  Don't always go looking to pick a fight with your mother every selfish comment or action.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Becoming 100% independent is critical.  Especially financially.  Being in his mid-teens, your friend is at the point of his life where he's making some very life decisions regarding his career.  If his parents are helping him financially by paying for his college, then take it.  Get an education for a degree that is proven to provide a good job.  If his parents aren't planning on paying for his education, then he's going to have to work hard for scholarships.  If he can't get any scholarships, then he'll need to either go straight into working or try working full/part time + community college part time.  If he's into software and his parents aren't helping him financially, he could try working full time + contributing on github.  Learn python.  If he likes it, become an expert with it.  Make projects and put them on github.  Within 2-5 years he'll have himself an impressive resume and could get a job literally using that Python experience.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure how he can heal.  I'll be honest, I still haven't fully healed.  You just learn to accept your mother for the way she is.  But acceptance doesn't mean you let her treat you poorly (but again, do pick your battles).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20985" LastActivityDate="2016-05-11T22:23:25.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24927" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-12T05:04:56.163" Score="10" ViewCount="1648" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just as some background: both of my parents are engineers, they pushed math on me throughout high school (I participated in math competitions, I liked it; I've also been really active on Math SE because of them), and I'm ending my freshman year of university. I came in as undeclared, and this is roughly the time many of my classmates are declaring their major.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents and I didn't fight very much when I was young - usually I was really submissive, did whatever they asked on the surface, and whenever I wanted to do something other than their wishes, I'd do the standard teenager thing and sneak out, lie, whatever. I'm not trying to defend my actions, but hopefully it gives some context.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They currently pay for my college tuition and my only real form of income is a part-time job I have at university. There's absolutely zero way I could pay for university on my own, and considering it's a private university for another three years, the total is about 150,000.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents were talking the other day about declaring my major, and they seemed to be set on my choosing engineering - after all, I never outwardly showed that I didn't like math or physics (I like both of those subjects). But I tried to explain to them that I actually wanted to major in psychology and cognitive science. I've met with a few graduate students in the psych program and I think it's a good fit for me, and this past semester I started taking some of the required classes in the major.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents weren't too happy about that - after two hours of yelling, I couldn't take it anymore and just hung up the call. They made threats of not paying for my degree. They're supposed to come to pick me up from university (I have to move out of the dorms) in a few days, but I've tried texting/calling them ever since the past phone call and they haven't replied.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe I'm overreacting and maybe this is just them trying to cope with their daughter disobeying them for the first time, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. What recourse do I have? I'm not entitled to a paid college tuition, but I feel like I should have the right to decide my own career path. Just because I never disliked math doesn't mean I want to major in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The immediate concern is that I'll have no one to pick me up from university, and the long-term concern is that I just caused a huge rift with my parents that might be unfixable. Since the semester is ending, the psychological services on campus are swamped with students, none of my friends know my parents personally, and I don't have a car to even try to see a therapist. I don't have anyone to turn to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;UPDATE&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just took a few finals today and they went okay - I'm trying to ignore the situation while my exams are ongoing. I texted my parents a few times and I still haven't gotten a reply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22157" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-03-21T12:14:40.597" LastActivityDate="2017-03-21T12:14:40.597" Title="Parents pressuring me to choose a major" Tags="|parents|adult-child|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24928" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24919" CreationDate="2016-05-12T06:25:41.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I really feel for you. It must be devastating to see your son going through this. I have a 10-yr-old son and he has gone through a situation like this in the past, too. In our case, I talked to his teacher at his school and asked her to keep an eye on them and tell me if she witnessed something. (I got the OK from my son before I spoke with her.) This actually alleviated the situation a bit, so the teacher must've had a talk with them or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also talked to my son and tried to find out if anything specific happened that led to the situation so that I could come up with what he and I should do. Fortunately my son tells me pretty much everything that happens at school, both good and bad, even though sometimes it takes a while for him to open up and tell me the story if it's a bad one, but him telling me the story helped me a lot since I didn't have to stress over something that I had no idea about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion (and I'm sure not everybody will agree with me), I think it is totally fine for your son to argue with his friends once or twice in situations like this, because that will let them know how badly he's hurting inside being treated like this and also that he's not just a coward. I feel that, with boys around this age, if you don't stand up for yourself at least once just like your son did, it's going to be taken as a weakness. But frequently going back to them and having arguments with them will probably only worsen the situation just like you said, making him look like a pushover. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking at kids at my son's school, especially boys around his age, I'm assuming this sort of thing happens randomly to pretty much any kids in a group of friends, and not just to specific kids. I know it sounds bad, but it seems like it takes turns for no specific rearsons... I think if there isn't anything specific that caused this, after a while, your son's friends will probably get bored of or forget about what is going on right now and everything will go back to normal like nothing happened one day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He had an argument once with them already, so it might be best for your son to leave it at that for now, and hang out by himself or with other friends who welcome him and respect him. I've told my son in the past that he absolutely doesn't have to hang out with people that don't want to hang out with him, and he certainly shouldn't have to ask or beg anybody to hang out with him unless he's done something bad to them. Do you know any of their parents well enough to be able to talk to them about this? If you do, talking to them about what he's going through might be able to relieve your stress a little. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am very sorry this is so lengthy and all scattered. I'm not an expert or anything, but as a mom who has a boy around the same age, I hope everything will work out the best for you and your son in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22140" LastEditorUserId="22140" LastEditDate="2016-05-12T07:09:40.860" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T07:09:40.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24929" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24927" CreationDate="2016-05-12T06:53:45.930" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;We know a bit about your situation, we weren't there for your ill fated phone call, so I'll give you barely an answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First :&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Do you have someone in your family that can act as an intermediary, like a sibling, aunt/uncle or a grand parent ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second :&lt;br&gt;&#xA;About your major, if your parents are both engineers, I'd advise you to prepare what you want to say to them : &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;approach this from the scientific side.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have in mind a list of works/jobs you can have with those studies. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your parents come probably from an educational background where human sciences are a bit ridiculed. On the other hand, I have often seen people studying those subjects with no idea what they would do afterwards, or even what they &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; do. In my country psychology, sociology and philosophy curriculum are considered as ways to get student scholarship while lazying around.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;So If you combine all this, they see their kid getting into a path that will lead her back home with a blocked future. No parent wants that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying you should give in to their demands. But consider why they make those, and have answers ready. Also, accept to consider their arguments. Even if it's your life and your choices, your parents might be right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, &lt;strong&gt;stop sneaking around&lt;/strong&gt;, it's what brought you where you are now. Some friction is not a bad thing, without it, you risk getting a break. You will not be the only one responsible for it, of course !&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T06:53:45.930" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24942" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25062" CreationDate="2016-05-12T11:09:16.793" Score="1" ViewCount="2043" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child's school has a spelling words practice method called &quot;look, cover, say, write see&quot; - which is a list of words the kids say, sound out and practice their spelling with each day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The test method is the teacher calling out the words, and the kids writing the spelling words on a sheet of paper for marking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child had an issue where they weren't confident sounding out the spelling words, and so they failed to create an association when practicing from [sound]-&gt;[spelling word], merely just formed a visual association from looking at the sheet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To fix this association problem, I took to daily drills on top of the practice sheet, calling out the words and having the child write them every day. This solved the problem of not being confident of what the word sounded like, and the association from word sound to writing it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My feel like my child should create this association independently. (Much as I like practicing with them).  But it didn't seem to be working using the learning technique on the sheet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;How do I get my 7 year old to learn their spelling words independently?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2017-06-22T05:40:22.737" Title="How do I get my 7 year old to learn their spelling words independently?" Tags="|education|language-development|independence|homework|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24943" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-12T12:03:14.373" Score="3" ViewCount="385" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2-year-old son who won't sleep more than 2 hours a night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've done the CIO (cry it out) which only means he gets up and goes into my bedroom and wakes me up, bath time before bed, reading before bed, no sugar - we started giving him vitamins, no pacifier, no sippy cup, cool room around 72 - 73°F, his favorite blanket. He doesn't have a favorite toy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He goes to bed around 08:30 or 9 and that's me fighting with him. I constantly lay him down and he gets up. We do this for about an hour or so, sometimes more. I usually fight to get him into bed. If he goes to bed at 9 he will be up by 11, 2 hours later he's awake again. This happens every single day. I can predict at what time he will be getting up. He runs all day, plays all day, naps some days, on others he doesn't nap at all. He wakes up for maybe 2 mins to 5 mins a night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can anyone help me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22159" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-11T17:11:10.267" LastActivityDate="2018-09-11T17:11:10.267" Title="How to make my 2-year-old son sleep for more than 2 hours a night?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24900" CreationDate="2016-05-12T13:20:57.067" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should treat this question the same as you would treat any other questions that your child asks you, which is to answer them truthfully and in as much detail as they are interested in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They may not be able to comprehend everything ('cell' seems to be a difficult concept IME), but it is possible to find analogies that help them understand.  For example I've tried to explain to my almost 5-year old daughter that inside your body there is a book that describes everything about you.  The egg and sperm each have half a book inside, such that when they come together a new full book is formed.  In this way a baby resembles their mommy and their daddy!  This way you can lay a basis for genetics.  Just don't forget to explain the mechanical details of baby-making too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, it is important to remember that no question is off limits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T13:20:57.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24945" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24927" CreationDate="2016-05-12T16:06:57.533" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your parents are buying you a &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; expensive education (relative to other avenues). Ignoring the significant possibility that they worked really hard to earn that money, remember it's &lt;em&gt;theirs&lt;/em&gt;. They could have bought a yaght, a beach house, put a really nice edition on the house, took a romantic trip to New Zealand to rekindle their romance. But instead they sent you to a really awesome school. This is an amazing gift that you do not &quot;deserve&quot;. Thank them, again and again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And don't be so proud. It's a painful pill to swallow, but here's the truth: you (acting alone) can't afford an expensive university tuition out of pocket, so you're asking your parents for their money. You seem like a very articulate young man, so you should understand the notion that if you want to do it your way, don't ask for anyone's money. Do it on your own. Until then, they can do whatever the hell they want, including yanking out funding to pay for that trip to New Zealand, and it's 100% fair game. They must have forgotten to tell you this ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But seriously, you really don't sound like a spoiled kid. Take heart, be humble, do the work, and godspeed!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19078" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T16:06:57.533" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24947" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24927" CreationDate="2016-05-12T17:52:19.003" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;MakorDal has already given some good advice. I'd also add: when you are able to talk to your parents again, start by emphasising the things you agree on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You both want you to be a happy, healthy prosperous adult. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You agree a good education is key to making this happen. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You agree that it is very good of your parents to fund your education, and that you are very fortunate they are in a position to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make a list of points like this. Hopefully you can add some more, as you know them better than we do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then when you talk, start by going over these points. Get them nodding in agreement. Then once you have them agreeing you can use those points of agreement as a basis for your argument. For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You wouldn't be happy as an engineer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Being engaged with your studies means that you will get better grades.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your chosen field has plenty of opportunities to make money.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is, once you start disagreeing with someone it takes an effort to stop, and people don't want to make that effort. But it works the other way too: once people start nodding they tend to carry on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another conflict resolution strategy that can work well is to summarize their point of view back to them &lt;em&gt;as well as you can&lt;/em&gt;. It needs to be so good that they wish they could have put it that way themselves. Then say &quot;So how do you think that looks from my point of view?&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T17:52:19.003" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24948" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24927" CreationDate="2016-05-12T17:58:31.150" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been on your side of the fence, in a similar situation and, looking back, I'm extremely grateful for how things turned out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I entered college, what I really wanted to be was a camp counselor, working with kids in a less formal setting.  My grandmother, who funded my education (after my father flatly refused, saying &quot;there's no point in throwing away money on college for women, since they just get married and quit working&quot;) said &quot;I'm not going to pay all this money unless you get a useful major.&quot;  I was upset, but she held the purse strings, so after one month as a PE major, I switched over to a business major, which was acceptable to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was my intention to just barely fulfill the requirements for the school of business, while at the same time taking the classes that I wanted to.  I took psychology, biology, language arts, history...slices out of lots of different departments.  I took drama and acted in school plays.  I took horseback riding and creative writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of my first year, I took a class entitled &quot;Computer Science for Business Students&quot;.  It was required, not anything I had any interest in.  By the end of the class I had realized that this was what I wanted to do with my life. Now, I am making a really fantastic income and loving what I do.  Many of my friends, who were language, literature and music and psychology majors, are struggling to pay the rent for their one room apartments.  Many of them haven't managed to pay off their student loans yet.  This isn't meant as a slam on liberal arts, but nobody can deny that it is a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; harder to get a good paying job with a liberal arts major.  It's a terrible shame, because I think most of the things we learn in liberal arts are more significant to our development as people and as a society than the sciences, but the money follows the sciences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what I think you should take away from all this.  You can have it all.  I had a double major in Intl Business and Marketing, with minors in Math, Psychology, Computer Science and Behavioral Science.  I'm a computer programmer, and have been for thirty years.  My business classes occasionally are useful, but it was my minor that I pursued as a career.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you choose for your major a subject that has great earnings potential and is acceptable to your parents, that will reassure them that you won't end up unable to earn a living.  Then you can take a minor in Psychology, or even a double major.  When I went to college, it was a lot easier to take liberal arts classes on a science major than the reverse.  Every class that you are interested in will be open to you.  And once you graduate, you can pursue a career in whatever you wish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-05-12T18:04:43.507" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T18:04:43.507" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24619" CreationDate="2016-05-12T18:17:41.890" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what your taps are like, but replacing them with thermostatic ones is normally not that expensive and you'll have years of benefits from them. They are &lt;strong&gt;the&lt;/strong&gt; way to make your taps safer, so I would really consider saving up for at least the bath/shower tap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ones available in the Netherlands (and presumably all over the world) have a button-lock to prevent accidentally setting the temperature above 38 C. This will prevent little accidents (especially in the shower) long after your children understand that the hot water is dangerous. Try these out when selecting one, as some models are too easy to unlock when just grabbing and rotating the knob.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The luxury models also prevent the metal of the tap itself from getting hot by having the cold water flow under the surface of the tap. This is for those occasions when your children grab the tap to keep their balance or get up out of a bath.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T18:17:41.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24951" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-12T20:41:48.263" Score="1" ViewCount="241" Body="&lt;p&gt;Help! I'm losing my mind in this process... My 3 year old boy wants to wear pull ups and stays dry most of the time. And tells me, I'm all dry! But, When he sits in the potty... Nothing! I don't think he is connecting the dots and really understands what is supposed to happen... Is he NOT ready? Should I go back to diapers? I feel like I'm wasting his and my time!!! How do I help him &quot;get it&quot;???  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22162" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T14:58:54.193" Title="Losing mind over potty training!" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2016-05-23T03:38:23.773" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24952" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24927" CreationDate="2016-05-12T21:01:50.030" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to have a slightly different focus than the other answers. This will have a similar outcome as other answers (Talk to them in a neutral way. &lt;strong&gt;DO NOT&lt;/strong&gt; start yelling), but I want to emphasize that &lt;strong&gt;YOU&lt;/strong&gt; need to figure out what you want to do, because you have to live your life. Not them. If you end up not liking engineering, you have deal with hating your job, not them. Even if that means paying your own way through college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention that you have no raised any objections throughout  your years as to math/engineering and the like, so your parents may have had such a strong reaction because of their expectations. Parents are fallible, and they may have just gotten super angry about such a large change in direction so suddenly, out of the blue. That and they have paid one year into your education. They by no means should have entered a shouting match, but again, we are all fallible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank your parents for the time and $$ they have put into your first year and assure them that no knowledge is a waste. Express that you need to find something you truly enjoy doing, or you will always perform lack-luster. We can never do well at something we do not like. Take some time to figure out what you want. Take a term with tons of different types of courses. Shadow some people in the field you like to see if it really is what you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can tell you that I stumbled upon Software Engineering/Database stuff and fell in love with it. Engineering is HARD. If I didn't like doing it, I would never spend the time REQUIRED to get better at it and gain more knowledge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T21:01:50.030" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24953" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24927" CreationDate="2016-05-12T23:41:19.987" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been on the other side of this fence. I am a parent whose 'child' changed their major. There are some very good answers here; I'll add what I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, this is recent and a shock. Give it some time; your parents are possibly grieving the loss of the future they envisioned for you (and themselves; futures tend to be intertwined in the mind), regardless of whether they do or don't have a right to have such a vision. Give them the benefit of the doubt - for now - that they have your best interests at heart: the ability to support yourself reasonably in the future. Try to avoid thinking of it as a lack of love or support. Talk to them calmly about their hopes for you; find out why they're so upset (even if their reasons are ridiculous in your mind.) Serious conversations work better if the parties involved understand one another.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, do some research to show them that you're approaching it as a mature decision. Find out whether you can make a living in your chosen major. For example, if you want to be a therapist or neuroscientist (or whatever else you might be thinking about), how much demand is there for the kind of career you want to have? How many additional years (beyond college) will you need to complete to do what you want to do? If you can show your parents that this is well thought out, they will be more likely to respect the decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, point out the grades you earned in the classes you took. Good grades never hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, this isn't the all-or-nothing end you might feel it to be right now. There are cheaper colleges you can attend, and you don't have to continue your education right now, uninterrupted. That's a kind of bifurcation, when in reality, there are many more options open to you. You just need time to explore them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents could not pay for my college; I ended up taking a year off to earn some money (while living at home) and continued to work during college to pay my own way. Not the ideal student experience, but I did what I wanted to do. I appreciated the room and board while they provided it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Regarding my son, he changed from a science major to Art. I didn't think it was a great idea at the time, but we loved him and wanted him to be happy, so we supported his decision. (He did not do the research I recommend for you, though, because his major wasn't a deal-breaker for us.) We continued to pay for his education - what wasn't covered by his academic scholarship - and he graduated happy and full of hope. It didn't work out for him, and after several years of not making a living working in his chosen field, he went back to school - on his own dollar - and now is happy, successful, and supporting himself well in a Biology-related field. Go figure.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-05-12T23:46:25.027" LastActivityDate="2016-05-12T23:46:25.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24954" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24989" CreationDate="2016-05-13T10:34:10.690" Score="2" ViewCount="197" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-month-old son is allergic to milk products and as per pediatrician's advice we're giving him formula milk Zerolac – and no breastmilk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can someone advise whether we can start giving him the solid foods from now on? If yes, please suggest some healthy food items that we can offer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22152" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-28T16:46:50.573" LastActivityDate="2018-08-28T16:46:50.573" Title="Our 4-month-old child is allergic to milk products. Can we start giving him solid foods?" Tags="|infant|feeding|allergies|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24954" CreationDate="2016-05-13T12:23:06.717" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The earliest recommended age for weaning is 4 months, and as you cannot feed him milk, there is no reason not to start on solid foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mashed up, or puréed fruits or vegetables - banana, apple, pear, carrot, potato, parsnip etc. These are very simple first foods, and while they are messy, babies rapidly learn how to eat them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they are happily eating these, you can add meat, fish, pasta etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can get a very good idea of the kinds of foods that are suitable by looking at the jars of baby food you see in shops. Lots of soft purées, tiny pieces of soft pasta, rice/wheat baby cereals etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-05-13T13:02:14.313" LastActivityDate="2016-05-13T13:02:14.313" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24958" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24961" CreationDate="2016-05-13T14:57:57.430" Score="0" ViewCount="1274" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a 17 year old student, in their last year of high school and under shared custody of my parents. I have 2 siblings, a 14 year old sister and a 16 year old brother. For nearly my whole life, I've had no problems with my parents. I feel like I skipped the naughty teenager phase, I never went to crazy parties, I've never even drunk (which seems to be especially rare in Australia) Next year I'll be heading to Uni and my grades are good. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My brother is the opposite in every way. We used to go to the same school, until he moved to another school starting year 9. Ever since he was introduced to a new crowd there, he has been in a steady decline. His grades were never perfect, but since changing schools they got worse, and at the end of last year decided to drop out of school and do an apprenticeship. This would have been promising, however he changed his mind and decided to back to school. Now he is in year 11, and has already given up school again after less than a term of it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know for sure about drug habits etc. (Though I'm almost positive he's experienced it once at least), but the only thing my family can agree on is that his friends are a big factor in this. Late January, after coming home from a holiday trip to Queensland with our, he sneaked out of the house to go to our mum's house. I can't remember if it was actually to see his girlfriend or other friends, but he would claim he had to because our father is abusive to him. In reality, he is spoiled and can't handle having to clean a dish. But opinions aside, he hasn't gone back to our dads house since, and whilst we continue to go there for half the week every week he refuses to move. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that he's placed himself permanently at our mother's house, he has started going out incredibly often and spends more time out of the house than in it. Whether it be in the city or down the road we never know, because mum never asks and he would never tell. On some of the occasions we do know, we only found out through letters and phone calls from the police.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This brings me to my mother, who is a nurse working night shifts at a hospital and days at a botox clinic. This busy schedule means she is out of home just as often as my brother, but the difference is she doesn't get to relax when she gets home. My brother has become her primary focus, but she is quickly running out of ideas. No matter how much help she tries to get him in regards to an education and career paths, he brushes it away because he can't be bothered. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I on the other hand, am at home a lot. Apart from school, and the half of the week I'm at my father's, I spend all my time at home. Throughout highschool my social life was low down in my priorities, as life got messy with a divorce and both parents moving house. As a result I'm never out at parties, I have barely any reason to leave the house. So instead of socialising I ended up taking the role of the second parent, mainly at my mother's. As my brother got worse, I got angrier and started trying to punish him, which made both my brother and mother get annoyed at me. It usually ends up in me looking like the obnoxious kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As of now I've given up trying to fix him, I've accepted there's nothing I can do, but I still think my mother can do more. Given her lack of discipline and the way she will see him play with an RC car and think he's destined to be an engineer, I've determined she's in a bit of denial about him. She isn't accepting that he is not shooting straight at all, and that given his current streak he would be lucky to &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; go to juvi. I've tried suggesting to her that he needs discipline immediately, or better yet 4 years ago, but she usually avoids the topic or just says she doesn't have enough time, she's too tired, etc. All of these reasons are legitimate and I'm not arguing them, and I don't even know for sure that discipline is the solution. I'm aware that as a 17 year old I won't quite have the parenting experience of my mother, who has raised 4 kids in her life. However, I feel that no amount of experience can help you to raise a 16 year old ADHD child on your own when you only have face to face contact with him 2 days a week total, plus two other kids. It doesn't help that my sister is a whole other situation, she's been spoiled her whole life and if I were to be honest is almost as bad as my brother, but in a different way. I could write up a whole question about her but I'll keep this on topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know this is more of a narrative than a question and I don't even know if this belongs here, but I'm just desperate to know what to do to get my brother to stop being the reckless teen he is, what my mum should do, or even what my brother should do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22168" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T19:33:39.383" Title="Out of control sibling" Tags="|teen|siblings|single-parent|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24959" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-13T15:38:49.597" Score="9" ViewCount="10106" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is eight and is in third form of elementary school. He is friendly, social, generous, fun, and popular among both his class mates and their parents. But recently there is a saddening development among his friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son invites friends to his home, he is always open to other kids coming, too. When he plays with &quot;Tom&quot;, and &quot;John&quot; calls and asks if he can come, my son always answers: &quot;Of course.&quot; He loves &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; his friends, and wants all of them around him all the time. We used to have three to five kids in the house on many afternoons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son's friends on the other hand usually have one other favourite friend. They play with everyone as a group, while in school, but at home they are content with having their one single best friend over and since a few weeks they have begun to prefer to be alone with that friend. So what has been happening for almost two months now is that whenever my son wants to play with &quot;Tom&quot; and/or &quot;John&quot;, the two have always already agreed to meet, and they tell my son that they want to be among themselves and that he cannot come. And this not only happens with &quot;Tom&quot; and &quot;John&quot;, but with several of my son's other friends also. Most of his class mates, and unfortunately all of his – former – closest friends, have currently formed &quot;couples&quot;, leaving my son the proverbial fifth (or, in this case, third) wheel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't completely understand this, and my son has no explanation either. For a few weeks now he has spent most of his afternoons alone. Only when one &quot;partner&quot; from one of the &quot;couples&quot; is otherwise occupied (usually with sports or family events), the remaining kid is open to play with my son. My son is visibly sad and hurt by the ongoing rejection, but as yet he remains true to his friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure wether or not I should talk to the other kids or their parents. I don't think forced friendships work, so I hesitate to get involved, but rather hope that this is a phase and will pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But then, there is an additional complication. I'm the coach in a climbing group for kids from 7 to 10. My son is in that group. We have a long waiting list of kids that want into that group, and some kids have been on that list for two years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of weeks back, before the rejections started, &quot;Tom&quot; asked my son if he could join the group, and my son asked me. &quot;Tom&quot; didn't know about the waiting list. I decided to let &quot;Tom&quot; skip the waiting list and allowed him to join. I did this for my son, because &quot;Tom&quot; is one of his closest friends and it made my son happy to have him in the group. And &quot;Tom&quot; and his family will move away at the end of the school year, so his position in the group will become vacant again soon and the kid at the top of the waiting list can join, albeit a few months later than if I hadn't privileged my son's friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, at the beginning of this week, a day after telling my son that they wanted to play without him, &quot;John&quot; asked my son if he could join the climbing group, too. He and &quot;Tom&quot; allowed my son to play with them on that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, I don't feel too good about letting a second kid jump the waiting list. I was making an exception for &quot;Tom&quot;, based on the fact that he would leave the group again soon, and my infringement would not be permanent. But I must admit that if &quot;John&quot; was my son's best friend and they were playing together every day, I would probably make a second, and permanent, exception, for the sake of my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But now, I feel that &quot;John&quot; is taking advantage of my son's friendship towards him, while at the same time he does not reciprocate the feeling and isn't a friend to my son. Today, as usual, &quot;Tom&quot; and &quot;John&quot; rejected my son's attempts to make a date with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I wonder. Disregarding the waiting list for the moment, should I invite &quot;John&quot; to the group, too, because this would please my son and might actually bring the kids together again? Or does it only bring &quot;John&quot; and &quot;Tom&quot; together, who are then both part of the group? Or should I tell &quot;John&quot; that he needs to decide wether he wants to be friends with my son, or not, and not use his friendship, if he doesn't want it? Or should I just tell him that it is not possible, using the waiting list as an excuse? Or what?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want my son to have friends. I want to facilitate these friendships, where I can. But I also want to &quot;deflect&quot; those friendships that are, in my opinion, not good for my son (in this case, because his friendship is being used to gain access to something, not out of &quot;love&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the right thing to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Again, please disregard the problem of the waiting list. I might not admit &quot;John&quot; to the group regardless of what would be right for my son and their currently deteriorating friendship. The waiting list is a different problem, and not what I'm asking about here. I'll solve that problem with my conscience and my co-coach.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastActivityDate="2019-02-28T13:46:00.513" Title="My son's friends suddenly prefer to play without him. Should I get involved or let the kids sort this out?" Tags="|primary-schooler|friends|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24960" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24959" CreationDate="2016-05-13T15:47:21.027" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This may feel a little succinct, but our job is to teach our children how to deal with adult life, not protect them from life. The only way you should get involved is to teach him how to talk to his friends and tell them how he feels. How to communicate back and fourth. You never know, it could be a misunderstanding :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&#xA;The goal here is to teach healthy communication as he grows up and bring conflict to a resolution. I see that your child has had phone communications with the other kids, and that it has been made pretty clear that the kids do not want to be friends with him. Most people need closure with that sort of thing. I know I'd be hurt. It is hard to have that sort of communication via phone, or even talking, so I would suggest having your child write a letter to the kids saying what he wants to say. Try to steer him away from saying angry things towards them, and just express his feelings. That should help bring closure. Closure is the important part to for your child's emotional health. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also be careful about the situation with the climbing group and the child skipping the waiting list. I do not know what your options are, but if it is an option for you to have those kids removed from the climbing group, and you choose that option, it could generate a lot of hate towards your child at school. It may be best to just let it be. It is not fair, I agree, but it may be best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-05-13T16:58:11.583" LastActivityDate="2016-05-13T16:58:11.583" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24961" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24958" CreationDate="2016-05-13T16:39:30.483" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I see it, you can do all of the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your brother. Tell him that you are worried he will make a mess of his life. And ask him if you can help. If he does not want to listen, you've done all you can do there. Very likely he will be unable to escape the influence of his friends on his own.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your mother and father. Explain your worries. Again, if they don't want to listen, you've done your best. But maybe your father worries, too, and is willing to try and talk to his son, or your mom, or to take the third step with you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You (with or without your parents) can go to your city's or district's family services. I don't know how this works in Australia or what it might be called, but all civilized countries have a gouvernment institution that takes care of children and minors if the parents aren't up to the task. Talk to them. Explain your family situation, how your brother has taken a self-destructive path, how your mother is unable to handle the situation, and that your father cannot, because it is your mom's house, and ask them for advice. If they are half good, they will take a look, and if they are not stupid, they will know what to do. Which will probably involve some kind of psychotherapy for your brother (to help him deal with his ADHS, if that is what he has, and to help him make better decisions) and maybe family therapy for the rest of you. If the situation is worse than you know, this institution will take your brother to a foster family or whatever the government does with almost-criminal kids in your country. This may sound like the worst thing to happen, but with a neglectful mother and drugs in the game, it often helps those that aren't too far in the netherworld back on track.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If none of this helps or plays out as you hope, then the final best thing you can do is to live your own life well and remain open to your brother if ever he should decide to take up your offer of help, but you also need to let him make his own decisions and not let it affect you too much.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user4758" LastEditorDisplayName="user4758" LastEditDate="2016-05-13T22:15:09.967" LastActivityDate="2016-05-13T22:15:09.967" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24962" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24958" CreationDate="2016-05-13T17:10:26.180" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel for your mom, you, and your family.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;she doesn't have enough time, she's too tired, etc&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;all that stuff is real - i feel it every day.  However, it is not an excuse (we all succumb to it though).  Facing those realities takes patience and honesty.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your mother and simply explain how serious your brothers situation is in your opinion.  &lt;em&gt;All you can do is educate her on the seriousness of his behavior&lt;/em&gt;.  You can't do much else, after that it is up to your mother to find a way to handle it and decide if that is more important than getting rest and maintaining sanity in what must be a very emotional situation (family life where it is).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concerning your brother I suggest 3 simple things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1)  Accept you cannot change him, only he can change himself&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2)  Let him know you are worried and care about where he is&lt;br&gt;&#xA;3)  Keep an open door for when he wants to make a change or reach out&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other people are not and will not be what we want - I can't even do that for myself, I hope you're better than I am.  Either way, just express your concern and keep lines of communication open.  You be a good example so whenever your brother wants to change he can reach out to you as an example and friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2016-05-13T17:10:26.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24963" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24942" CreationDate="2016-05-14T01:10:48.990" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The author &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.verywell.com/new-ways-practice-spelling-words-at-home-620973&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;here has the following suggestions&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Create a set of flashcards. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Create a second set of flashcards with the definition of the word on it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use both sets of flashcards to play spelling Memory.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use alphabet magnets or Scrabble tiles to spell out each word.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Write the word  list on a piece of construction paper. Then cut the words apart into strips. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Write sentences for each word. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Type her spelling words on the computer. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Write or type a story using all of her spelling words. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use the Spelling City website.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use Discovery Education’s puzzlemaker tool. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Alphabetize the word list. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sit down with your child, two pencils and a piece of paper. Tell her the spelling word you’ll be practicing and write the first letter of the word. Pass the paper to her so she can add the next letter. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Create Mad Libs only using the spelling words. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let your child play with her food. She can use a fork to trace her spelling words in her mashed potatoes or spell them out with alphabet cereal.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Use old magazines or newspapers to find spelling words and cut them out. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2016-05-14T01:10:48.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24885" CreationDate="2016-05-14T01:41:38.500" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Khan Academy has some very basic courses leading up to building simple games within an HTML5 canvas. It may be a place to start if he feels intimidated by the other options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22169" LastEditorUserId="33770" LastEditDate="2018-11-19T16:11:27.477" LastActivityDate="2018-11-19T16:11:27.477" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24965" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24959" CreationDate="2016-05-14T05:41:46.743" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tough situation because we hate to see our children upset, but we don't want to meddle, either. I would ask your son how he feels about the situation, then maybe model with him some things that he can say to them to tell him how he feels when they are leaving him out. It sounds like the children are using him as just a &quot;stand-in&quot; when they are bored. It's important to talk to your son about what a true friendship is. I wouldn't talk to their parents because that could lead to resentment towards your child (ie: I'm only playing with you because my mom says that I have to be nice.) If they were bullying, that would be different. I do think that it might be a good idea to maybe facilitate some play dates with other children so that he might find someone that he has more in common with, perhaps other children from the climbing club? At the age of 8, I don't believe that it's outside of the boundaries to help in that area. They need all the guidance that they can get so that they can learn what to look for in strong friendships as they get older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22146" LastActivityDate="2016-05-14T05:41:46.743" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24879" CreationDate="2016-05-14T05:51:38.653" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would reiterate that it's your household and if he would like to be invited back, he needs to respect any time that you say &quot;No, not right now&quot;, no matter what the reason is. I hope that your back gets to feeling better. That's a tough injury to have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22146" LastActivityDate="2016-05-14T05:51:38.653" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24967" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24868" CreationDate="2016-05-14T05:58:25.747" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;At this young age, I'd continue to allow him to be kind and friends with the boy. It's not the other boys fault that the mom is being the way she is. I'd also maybe set up play dates of your own with other children so that your child may make some new friends and encourage him to widen his circle as he enters school. It's pretty horrible that that woman is being pretty awful to your child. Have you tried to talk to her to see what her specific issue is? I wouldn't have your child switch sports teams, but are their other children on the team that he might like to have some play dates with and foster friendships with?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22146" LastActivityDate="2016-05-14T05:58:25.747" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24968" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24879" CreationDate="2016-05-14T18:33:42.693" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some children ask &quot;Why?&quot; so they can better understand your ruling. Some are even able to then make other changes in plans having gained this information. It sounds like this fits your child. Others ask &quot;Why?&quot; so they have something to argue with. Most of them do so with simple &quot;no we won't&quot; kind of argument, nothing sophisticated. The first time you meet such a child it can give you some real cognitive dissonance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actively practice saying aloud (with no children around)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I've made my decision. I'm not taking a vote. I'm the one who decides, and I've decided. This is not something you can change with rudeness. Thankyou for your input; my decision stands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep going with responses like this until you are pretty good at sounding polite, calm, and firm. A petulant or threatening &quot;because I said so&quot; is not what you want. Next time you get a &quot;Why?&quot; and there's someone in the room who will use the knowledge for good, answer with an actual reason. But if the only people around are those who will use it for arguing, trot out one or two of these short, calm sentences. They're also great for stopping the &quot;rebuttal&quot; to the why, no matter who is around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's good that you don't want to stop them being friends, or let the parents know what you think of this boy, because neither of these things tend to end well. But monitor closely. I have seen real heartache and pain inflicted by a child who sounds just exactly like Mike, and who I should have excluded from our lives far sooner than I did in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3934" LastActivityDate="2016-05-14T18:33:42.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24969" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24970" CreationDate="2016-05-14T20:44:41.853" Score="2" ViewCount="530" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a warning for &quot;do not hang wall decals above the babies crib&quot; on the set of wall decals we got from the store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was really our &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;main&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; plan for where to put them, as the wall above the crib was going to be so bare due to not wanting anything heavy above the crib... for obvious reasons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone know why this warning would be present?  Is it a CYA on the manufacturers part?  Or is there a legitimate reason I'm not thinking of?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22175" LastActivityDate="2016-05-15T14:49:06.047" Title="Wall decals above crib?" Tags="|infant|newborn|crib|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24969" CreationDate="2016-05-15T14:49:06.047" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Eric's comment above - the concern is probably that they will fall off the ceiling or wall off and get into the crib. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's also a chance, if the decal is meant to be semi-permanent, that a child could scratch at the decal and peel it off the wall if its in reach. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you sealed the decal to the wall (glue, or a clear coat over top) you should be pretty safe. However this will make it difficult to remove the decal later. You may need to run a sander over it to get it off. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-05-15T14:49:06.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24971" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24976" CreationDate="2016-05-15T16:19:49.677" Score="4" ViewCount="823" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are taking our 10-month-old baby camping this summer. It will be four days of festival. We were planning to just sit him in a bucket for washing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does anyone have any suggestions/experience for baby washing whilst camping? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22180" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-25T12:38:34.117" LastActivityDate="2019-05-07T09:30:32.190" Title="How to wash a 10-month-old whilst camping for 4 days?" Tags="|infant|bathing|outdoor|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24972" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24971" CreationDate="2016-05-15T19:25:11.173" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;An extra-large saucepan is excellent for washing a baby while camping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can heat the water (not too hot!) on a gas burner and then take the pan off the heat, check the water temperature, and add the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I resisted the temptation to add carrots and onions and take a picture. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2019-05-06T11:11:51.753" LastActivityDate="2019-05-06T11:11:51.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24920" CreationDate="2016-05-15T21:25:05.310" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everything you do should be in the best interests of the children.  Your wife has human rights, but at the moment they come second to the rights of the children.  Your children are at risk of severe harm, where harm is defined as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, or neglect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're in the UK.  You should contact, as a matter of some urgency, your local child safe-guarding board.  They're part of your county council. Put the name of your county council and &quot;child safe guarding&quot; into a search engine to get contact details.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;In the UK it is unusual for them to take children away from families.&lt;/strong&gt;  That's only done as a measure of last resort.  But they can offer a lot of help and advice and support to the parents to help the children.  They may remove the children if abuse is actively happening; if a parent has an active addiction to drugs or alcohol; etc.  The situation you describe is severe, and you should seek help of child social services, but it's not severe enough for the children to be taken off you. (Although if you continue to not protect the children by failing to make a referral you're not going to be seen as a protective person.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They will work in the best interests of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Please, if at all possible do this tomorrow.&lt;/strong&gt; Contact your local child safe-guarding office and ask about making a referral.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As well as that: if your wife is under the care of a mental health team you can provide information to that team.  Or if she's just getting care from a GP you can provide information to the GP.  Make sure they know you are the &quot;Nearest Relative&quot; (use that phrase, it's a bit of legal jargon that has a specific meaning that should trigger them to think differently about the info you give them).  Because you were a carer (providing unpaid support) and are the nearest relative they might be able to share some information with you, but medical professionals often don't share information with carers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-05-15T21:25:05.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24975" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-16T04:12:07.650" Score="7" ViewCount="421" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have 4-year-old fraternal twins and the following issue: ever since they were born, one was the &quot;bigger&quot; one, simply put, he's (currently) better at almost everything than his brother (be it reading, writing, sports etc.). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such I don't think the difference is really an issue, life &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; long after all; however my concern is that the other one starts having issues with that. He becomes mad every time his brother does something better or beats him at bicycle races or whatever (he wants himself to enter the race but abandons it as soon as he sees his brother being faster). We try to push him or congratulate him, however it's hard not to congratulate his brother as well (Like but I can count to 100...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also sometimes hard to get his attention as he often likes to play &quot;dog&quot; or cat instead of focusing on what you just happen to tell him...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any idea on how to deal with all that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22184" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-12T18:52:24.573" LastActivityDate="2018-12-12T18:52:24.573" Title="How to deal with a fraternal twins &quot;competition&quot; issue?" Tags="|pre-schooler|twins|competitiveness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="24976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24971" CreationDate="2016-05-16T11:15:10.707" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The two options we used when camping with babies that age were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Baby wipes - useful in all cases, but especially so for short camping trips, as you don't need to deal with water, heating, disposal etc., and can simply carry out the wipes along with nappies and other waste.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Cloth wash - as long as you can heat water, you can then dip a cloth or sponge in it to wash baby, starting with the face, and working downwards.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For both, if you are in cold air or a cold tent, you will want to dry each washed part soon after washing, so baby doesn't get too cold. If you have good weather this can be a wonderful time with your baby, but plan for the worst.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; For a 4 day I'd be tempted to just go with the baby wipes. For baby and for adults :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-05-16T13:41:59.593" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T13:41:59.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24920" CreationDate="2016-05-16T16:24:54.327" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two separate and distinct problems here:-  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your partner's mental health&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your children's wellbeing&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately if your partner is violent towards you then at it's reasonable to expect that at some point her children will pass a point where she feels it will be acceptable to act that way towards her children, especially given the level of respect she shows them at present.  You can try to engage with mental health professionals and things may or may not improve - that depends on if you love her and want to keep her around, an impression is given that the relationship may be past that point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So let's examine the options available to you in terms of action; and be aware that the answer will be blunt - there's no sugar-coating it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Kicker her out, keep the children with me&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't see a valid reason why this is &quot;not an option&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Approximately 1.8 MILLION women in Britain are forced into the situation by &quot;deadbeat dads&quot; or through relationship breakdowns.  If you believe they take such a decision lightly then you'll be very mistaken, most of those women will have wanted their jobs/careers or the financial stability or independence just as much as any man.  Each one has ended up making similar choices to those you're facing now, often without the benefit of being able to maintain the family home and not uproot the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not easy but there are a huge number of people doing it which means it must be possible, and social services can help you if you ask them and if you let them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let her leave with the children, do nothing.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By saying or doing nothing and allowing the children to be placed in harm's way you make yourself as responsible for the neglect of your children as their mother.  Nothing in the question suggests this to be the case, you have concerns and should act upon them.  You could potentially face a charge of Wilful Neglect, which carries a prison sentence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let her leave then report her to the social services&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Social services will always try to place children with a close family member as possible wherever they can as their first priority is to the child.  Dumping them with strangers is not acting in the child's best interests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which then leads back to the question - why wait and as the first option what makes you incapable of looking after your child when millions of women have to do exactly the same thing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Report her to the doctor and inform them that she stopped her medication&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The doctor may or may not report her to social services (and if you're there then they may not do so on the basis that you too have parental responsibility), so unless you tell him the mother presents a risk to your children then they're unlikely to say anything to social services.  Even if they were likely to get involved they would want to take steps to help her become a good parent before they began the mountain of paperwork which is required for a &quot;removal&quot; to take place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in any case short of you forcing her to take her medication, how is that going to resolve a problem that has a high probability of recurring?  That's a problem for you to consider - if you feel that your relationship with her can be salvaged and if you want to do so; nothing in the question suggests either is the case at this point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get your priorities straight.  Call social services, get them to help you to look after your children if you need them to - foster families are difficult to come by so they try not to use them unless absolutely necessary...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastEditorUserId="3777" LastEditDate="2016-05-16T21:27:18.160" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T21:27:18.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24975" CreationDate="2016-05-16T16:28:35.017" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is in our nature to be jealous. I noticed similar problems with my kiddos. However, I then noticed how I &quot;congratulated&quot; them and such, and realized I was creating the jealousy. I've since switched to a &quot;right on, the more you practice the better you both will get&quot; kind of accolade for almost all situations. Even when it is just 1 kid doing something while the other is on the other side of the house, I will tell him good job, keep practicing and you will get even better! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It took a fair amount of that but we did eventually see their behavior change. There will still be little bits here and there, but Wifey and I are pretty happy with the results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind that your kiddos are different people. They will respond differently to situations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I want to emphasize the word &lt;em&gt;practice&lt;/em&gt;. In everything we do, we could consider it practicing. Every day we go to work, we &quot;practice&quot; and get better at our job. Eventually we will get good enough for a raise. When we exercise, we &quot;practice&quot; the exercises, and we get better over time. When your kids ride their bike, they are practicing, and no matter what their skill levels are, they will each get better at their own rate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-05-16T17:52:44.397" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T17:52:44.397" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24982" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-16T17:26:44.147" Score="3" ViewCount="1739" Body="&lt;p&gt;When it comes to food, my parents like to salt it a lot more than I do. Besides tasting bad (in my opinion, at least), the salt amount is unhealty and, according to my calculations, about twice the 5 gram limit per day recommended by the WHO. I've asked them politely to salt less, but after saying &quot;Ok&quot;, they continue just as before. I've asked them two or three times in total to no avail, and don't want to continue nagging them about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I cook, which I do about half the time, I salt according to my taste, and when we eat they just salt the food on their own plate more without anyone making a fuss about it. It works just fine for everyone. How can I convince them to salt less, too?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not answer with any of the following answers, please&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Just ask them to do it&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried, it simply doesn't help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Cook your own food&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do rather often, but sometimes I can't. Besides, I can't refuse to eat their food without offending them, which I preferably would avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Don't be so picky&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd prefer to avoid eating food which tastes bad and is unhealthy for several more years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Move out&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm 16.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any ideas or suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22189" LastActivityDate="2016-05-20T00:52:24.700" Title="Parents salt food too much" Tags="|parents|food|communication|manners|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24982" CreationDate="2016-05-16T17:48:45.453" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You answer your own question in the prohibitions you put on the acceptable answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone is doing something that you don't like there are only a few solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask them to stop&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do it yourself (cook for yourself or move out)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Accept it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There aren't really any other choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you need to do is work on #1 more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way to resolve an issue it to discuss it. Try finding more ways to discuss it. Talk with them about how your tastes are different and you don't like the flavor of so much salt. Bring up your concerns about the health aspect of salt. Ask ti be involved in the cooking process, don't make it &quot;you vs me&quot; but an &quot;us&quot; discussion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T17:48:45.453" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24982" CreationDate="2016-05-16T20:25:38.720" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're asking your parents to do something quite easy in theory, yet very difficult in practice: To cook the food in a way that tastes wrong to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you've discovered, salt and the enhanced flavors it gives are habit-forming. To your parents, &quot;unsalted&quot; food tastes bland and bad, simply because it doesn't meet their expectations of the flavors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you asked them and they said &quot;Ok&quot;, it's likely that they didn't continue as before, but made an effort to add the minimum salt for a good flavor... which to you tastes the same as before. Your reaction may have discouraged them from trying more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying to wean your parents off of salt is at best a multi-year project. Only a health scare and doctor's warning will speed that up, so best forget about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, try to increase their awareness a bit. Not by preaching about it, but rather discussing experiences, tasting different foods, even cooking together occasionally. &#xA;If your parents cooking style allows, you could also ask that they put part of the food (especially sauces) aside for you before they bring it to taste.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T20:25:38.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24541" CreationDate="2016-05-16T22:00:57.327" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like the comment above, the first thing we need to know is the age of the child. For example, a young child with a needle phobia is going to freak out when you use the epi pen (or similar). Those HURT. A lot. Expecting a child to be calm when you are shoving a needle in their leg (and holding it for 10-15 seconds) is not reasonable. In this case, remember that your kids will react to YOUR reaction. If you are acting stressed, or panicked, they will feel that and your reaction will feed their own stress. Share your calm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In an older child, a lot of it will have to do with their preparation for the reaction. Have you talked about what they will do, who they will call, what order they will take meds, etc? Talk about it and role play it a lot of times when it isn't actually the allergic emergency and you will give them the model of how to respond when the emergency occurs. There is a reason we did fire drills several times a year when in elementary school: repetition in practicing what to do during an emergency makes a scary situation much easier when it actually happens. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer is more applicable to anaphylactic reactions where seconds matter. In cases where there is a mild allergy, I'd say if you expect it to happen or it happens frequently, have a plan with your child on what they are going to do. My 9 year old has medicine in the office at the school that he knows he can go take if he is having an allergic reaction. (I had to sign papers with the school, and had to provide the medicine, obviously.) When he takes it, the school calls me and lets me know that he has taken the medicine. But we have a plan, and he knows what it is, and is calm because he knows that within 20 min of taking his medicine, he will be feeling much better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T22:00:57.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24379" CreationDate="2016-05-16T22:10:35.490" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;+1 to the answer that recommends having a single doctor verifying meds. I have one doctor that really knows a lot about drugs and interactions, and I run all my medication past him to make sure he considers interactions, etc. You can also check with your pharmacist who has training in that area as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say he has ADD and ODD. Who diagnosed those disorders? If it wasn't a pediatric psychiatrist, I recommend you go see one. There is so much nuance in those areas of medicine, and you want to make sure you have both (1) a correct diagnosis and (2) the correct medicine for the diagnosis. My primary care doctor miss-diagnosed me with a mental disorder and set me up with a prescription that exacerbated my condition dramatically. I went to see a psychiatrist who made a different (and correct) diagnosis, and had me switch the medicine completely. So seeing the right kind of doctor for your grandson is really important, if you can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, most people I have talked to about this agree that there is a two-pronged approach: the first is getting the right medicine from a doctor, and the second is making sure you have the right therapist. In most cases, these won't be the same person. I've had the same psyc doc for about 9 years and I've had five different therapists. Keep trying on the therapist front until you find the right fit. If it doesn't feel right, try somebody else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially in the case of a child, YOU are his advocate, and you can fight the system to make sure his needs get properly considered, and his voice is heard. You can do it! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T22:10:35.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7550" CreationDate="2016-05-16T23:03:20.403" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I realize I'm 3 years too late, but I thought I'd post my experience here to help others in the future.  My kid is 5 years old and couldn't pedal her 16&quot; Giant-brand bike (with training wheels.)  The bike is really well made -- with high quality training wheels, too -- so the method I describe here might not work with other bikes.  First time on the bike, both our kid and us parents ended up frustrated because pedaling was a completely foreign concept for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second time, I put the training wheels on bricks, one for each wheel.  Then, using my hands, I showed her how to pedal.  I realized at this point how confused she was.  Using her hands, she would pedal forward then backward.  After she figured out what it means to pedal forward, I kept the bricks in place, sat her on the bike, and asked her to pedal.  She did this for at least 5 minutes and got the hang of it quickly.  (You have to provide support because the bike can easily rock off the bricks.)  Then she pedaled some by herself off the bricks on a slightly inclined surface.  Then when she would get confused again, I'd put the bricks back under the training wheels for a quick refresher.  This took days.  Now she can pedal.  Hope this helps someone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why training wheels?  We had a Schwinn balance bike, but it didn't work out.  The seat wouldn't stay up in the correct position.  So we just went straight to training wheels this year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22192" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T23:03:20.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24954" CreationDate="2016-05-16T23:59:55.280" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We started with solids with our toddler at 6 months, until then 100% breastfeeding and at that point forward whenever it felt right. This was inspired by &quot;baby-led weaning&quot; which I think is basically offering the kid everything you're eating--slices of avocado, pieces of fish, and cheese. Stuff he wouldn't choke. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19078" LastActivityDate="2016-05-16T23:59:55.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24954" CreationDate="2016-05-17T00:50:40.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;On the advice of our pediatrician, we started giving our kids solid foods after 6 months. When she told us how to do this, she indicated that the quantity of solid foods wasn't particularly important, because the baby was still getting its primary nutritional needs met by the breast milk (in your case, formula). Our kids weaned on their own anywhere between 9 months and more than a year and a half, depending on their preferences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I recommend asking your pediatrician your questions, as sh/e will be able to provide you advice based on your child's medical history and needs. It sounds like your child's needs are different than the average child that is the same age, so &lt;strong&gt;your child's doctor is the best place to get definitive advice&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you decide to start on solid foods, our doctor recommended that we start with single-grain cereal to start with. We started with rice cereal. We then added baby food (either commercial, or mashed up on our own) &lt;strong&gt;one flavor at a time&lt;/strong&gt;. This is especially important if you are concerned your baby may be affected by allergies. If you see an allergic reaction, you want to know what caused it. That means you should only introduce one new food every couple of days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, my last bit of advice is that if your child rejects a particular type of food, don't consider it a lost cause. You may need to introduce a food to your child 10 or more times before they decide they like it. Persistence is a virtue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T00:50:40.217" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24990" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="24991" CreationDate="2016-05-17T01:29:14.647" Score="1" ViewCount="151" Body="&lt;p&gt;We got a 9-month old son that's been rocked to sleep and given many night time feedings to help him sleep. So those are two sleep associations that we are trying to eliminate. We have been working to erase the feedings first since last week using some of Ferber's methods. We increased his before-sleep bottle from 150ml to 200ml and baby now sleeps anytime between 8:30-9PM to 5AM with just a few short wakings without needing to feed. The problem is sometimes he wakes up really early now at 4:30-5AM, while his usual wake time is 7-8AM, and usually because he's really hungry. We can tell he's hungry because we rock him for 15-30 minutes and he's still cranky. After we give him a 100 ml bottle then he goes back to sleep and we wake him up at 8AM. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My questions are what can we do to eliminate this 5AM feeding, and does this feeding counts as &quot;night time feeding&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19244" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T16:53:49.493" Title="Trying to eliminate night time feeding, end up waking hungry very early" Tags="|feeding|night-time|nightwaking|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24990" CreationDate="2016-05-17T07:07:05.150" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You did it very well by changing the pattern in feeding, it is just that the baby is still used to be fed quite often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you comment, your baby used to eat several times during the night, say every 3-4 hours. Now he sleeps for 8 hours in a row and then wakes up feeling hungry: that is completely normal! Just feed him normally at that time for a while. After few days, he may prefer sleeping a bit more and that feeding will move from 5AM to somewhere around 7AM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, what I learnt from my 10 months old daughter is that you should make changes one at a time. Once that one is fixed, go ahead with the next one. This way, you can almost certainly know what is wrong when you make a change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going back to your question, just try to be patient. Your baby needs to get used to the change and it has to be done in a more progressive manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T07:07:05.150" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24992" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24920" CreationDate="2016-05-17T07:48:35.533" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The answers will depend a bit on the UK social system concerning child care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd say to proceed the following way : stack up a couple of holidays. Use those for a physical appointment with someone from child care services. They will provide you with a couple of solutions you will not have though of. As an example, here in Switzerland (I don't know if it's possible for you), you can ask for your own children to be placed in temporary custody. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While things get arranged, and if your job allows, try to have some remote working days, from home. Failing this, Is there anyone from your family - or even her - who you could trust and ask to help for a few days ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try a last ultimatum, once everything is set up - and cover yourselfe : mother's words usually have more weight the a father's. Having a couple of witnessed (best) or documented (meh) problems available is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I don't know at what age school starts in the UK, but once this is on, it will reduce the time you will have to get someone to care for your kids while you are away, so getting them in school early might also help with your case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T07:48:35.533" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24993" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25010" CreationDate="2016-05-17T10:54:08.460" Score="0" ViewCount="169" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have twin girls, 7 month of corrected age (premies). Both get tired and cranky after lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have read that kids need regular schedules and that we should teach them to take a nap in their bed after lunch. This should be done at regular times, every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However we have TWO kids and they start to protest and cry as soon as we put them to bed, intensifying the problem by agitating each other. Problem is, my wife is alone during the day and so cannot calm down both kids at the same time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any hints on how to proceed in such a situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21883" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T11:10:11.130" Title="How to teach 7 month old twins naps after lunch?" Tags="|sleep|sleep-training|twins|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24994" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25003" CreationDate="2016-05-17T11:21:15.257" Score="2" ViewCount="255" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the morning I have to wrestle my six-year old girl to get her to remove her Doona (Duvet/Comforter/Quilt). Then I have to wrestle her to get her up and get her clothes on. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like she should get up and dress herself. (My wife and I have to go to work). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is &lt;strong&gt;What techniques can I use to get my six-year-old out of bed and dressed for school?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T19:59:55.043" Title="What techniques can I use to get my six-year-old out of bed and dressed for school?" Tags="|sleep|bedroom|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24996" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-17T12:50:35.630" Score="0" ViewCount="143" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kids (age 3 and 4) are currently in day care Monday to Thursday from 9 to 14. Our 3 year old sleeps during the nap time while our 4 year old only rests but does not fall asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are relocating to Spain where most schools for 3 year olds and upwards seems to have quite long hours. The school we are most interested in is from 9 to 17 and nap time is only for 3 year olds and younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am concerned about the long hours. Are long hours (9-17) fine for kids of this age? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22196" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T17:19:35.460" Title="Long hours in new kindergarden?" Tags="|pre-schooler|daycare|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24994" CreationDate="2016-05-17T16:05:36.093" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As with so many &quot;resistance&quot; problems, the answer, hard as it may be for parents to go with, is &quot;natural consequences&quot;. In this case, she goes to school in her pajamas and Doona. (Just tell the teacher what's up.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;ETA a rationale and a caveat:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Caveat: make sure it is actually just resistance (power play) and not a genuine fear to something bad/hidden going on at school (bullying?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rationale: make it totally her problem, not yours (don't ever tell her &quot;I have to get to work!&quot;); and no drama, no threats, no warnings; just matter-of-fact &quot;ok this is what we're going to do today then; I can carry you to the car or you can walk&quot;. It &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; get her attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastEditorUserId="20043" LastEditDate="2016-05-17T16:16:30.093" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T16:16:30.093" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24998" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25001" CreationDate="2016-05-17T16:59:30.887" Score="48" ViewCount="18657" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wonder how important the color of a bike should be for a 7-year-old girl? There are many good bike options, but they don’t come in the pink color that she likes.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am trying to decide whether I should &lt;strong&gt;try&lt;/strong&gt; to change her mind, or just go with whatever bike with the color that she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22199" LastEditorUserId="7956" LastEditDate="2016-05-22T14:46:53.680" LastActivityDate="2017-03-26T14:19:34.887" Title="How important should the color of a bike be to a 7-year-old girl?" Tags="|girls|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="24999" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24996" CreationDate="2016-05-17T17:19:35.460" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure about Spain, but in many countries school start with Kindergarten around age 5 or 6. &#xA;Anything before that is 'pre-school' or 'day care'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In many places pre-school are typically useful for parents where both parents work, and need full work day child care. This means day cares and pre-schools are open many hours. (and that School may have an after school care program on site, or there might be a private after school care program close to the school). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those hours you mention are not unusual to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, there seem to be a little more 'school' in pre-school than I am used to from for instance Denmark where I was born. &#xA;Our current pre-school has hours from 9-15, but they also have extended care from 7 - 18. The before and after school time are set aside for different activities that are more playtime than school time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In case for your pre-school, I would say it depends on what the hours are used for. Is it 'traditional' schooling (learning letters, numbers, colors, etc), or does this include 'free play' like playing with dolls or cars, or acticities like play-doh and coloring. Does it include outdoor time? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it does that, I don't think those hours are long at all, and would not cause me any concern. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own kids (aged 5 and 3) are in pre-school from 8:30 to 16:30 every day. But a lot of that is play time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T17:19:35.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-17T17:34:58.260" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;You might think about getting a used bike (I'd hate to do this to a new bike) and let her pick out a color to paint it.  I'm sure your local home improvement shop could recommend a good paint (with sealer and whatever else is necessary).  It could be a fun project that you could do together (maybe with a smaller paint brush for her).  Sure, it may not look so great but the point is that she's happy with it and you both could share something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she isn't happy with that I'd just tell her &quot;this is what's available, if you want something different we'll have to make it ourselves.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T17:34:58.260" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-17T18:11:59.283" Score="135" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seems to me that the true question is, &lt;em&gt;How do I teach my child to weigh the value of the color of a bike versus the quality of the bike&lt;/em&gt; (and perhaps price?).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such, I think this is a &lt;em&gt;great&lt;/em&gt; learning moment for your daughter.  Either sit down in front of a computer with an appropriate web shop pulled up, or go to the bike store, and select several different options.  Talk over the advantages and disadvantages of each one. If one is less expensive, for example, point out that you would then have some money left over to have a nice meal out, or buy a book, or whatnot.  If one has better build quality, point out that it won't break as quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, point out that she can accessorize the bike however she wants once the bike itself is purchased.  Talk about her options for doing so - not sure I'd paint it, but certainly streamers, beads in the wheels, a new seat (seats are entirely changeable on most bikes), new pedals if the bike has replaceable pedals - all are options, either right away or once she's saved up some money to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, ultimately, I would let her make her own decision.  Get her to talk to you intelligently about it, but once she's done so, get the bike she prefers.  Then, if it turns out the bike she chose isn't as good, she'll learn that she made a choice, and lives with the consequences of it - in this case, a bike that is harder to ride or doesn't go as fast or breaks more quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because ultimately, the question you asked - 'How important should the color of a bike be for a seven year old girl' - has no real answer other than what &lt;em&gt;she&lt;/em&gt; feels.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T18:11:59.283" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25002" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24994" CreationDate="2016-05-17T19:43:31.220" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The “Checklist” strategy worked very well for us. For my 7-year-old, we created a few checklists including the following items:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Items to do every morning until she is ready for school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Items to do when she is back from school&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Items to do before going to bed&#xA;I ask her to create the checklist with her handwriting. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she cannot write YET visual stickers or labels help or you can create/print fancy checklists with MS Word and drawing found on google image search.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She scores herself every day on the checklists and upon high score achievement, she gets nice prizes (that might even include sugary stuff too :) ) .&#xA;During the 1st week, you need to be patient. After a month, you will be surprised how well you are able to implement good habits. Depend on the child or age; you can retire each checklist after ~two months!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22199" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T19:43:31.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25003" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24994" CreationDate="2016-05-17T19:59:55.043" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing I'd do is figure out whether she's having trouble getting out of bed because she's too tired.  Most kids I've known fall into one of two camps: the ones that wake up on their own and are bright and chippy nearly right away, usually too much so for the parents; and the ones who don't wake up on their own, have to be woken up, and are very challenging to help get ready in the morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she's in the second group, then she may not be getting enough sleep.  Is it possible to move to a slightly earlier bedtime?  Even a half hour might be enough.  Or, is it possible her sleep is not sufficiently good quality?  A better mattress, a change in temperature (too warm or too cold are both bad for sleep), or a white noise machine to help cover noises (particularly if you're on a street that has some traffic but not enough to become white noise itself) all may help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is particularly likely if she wakes up much better on days where she can get up at her leisure (on a weekend, perhaps).  If she's not getting enough sleep, then it's not terribly surprising she has trouble getting up and getting moving. I certainly have trouble getting up and moving when I've not slept enough, and I've had decades to practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't really fix the sleepiness, you can try what we do.  My oldest in particular can't go to bed earlier than he does; his circadian rhythm is just wrong for a normal school schedule, so he's inevitably tired in the mornings.  During the winter in particular, we wake him up in stages.  Begin waking him up at 6:30 or so - light on in the room, a few words to help him stir.  Then 6:45 after I've showered I give him another go.  Then, again at 7 a third time, now we usually get him awake, and capable of dressing himself and getting up - particularly with the promise of breakfast downstairs.  Waking up in stages is much easier for most people of any age; that way, she's not coming out of a deep sleep and instantly expected to be awake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T19:59:55.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25004" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10488" CreationDate="2016-05-17T20:37:17.807" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would alert the doctor to the past UTI, but then I would trust the doctor. Needless tests that aren't warranted based on the presented symptoms are a cause for concern in our health system with escalating costs of treatment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, on the other hand if your 'parent gut' is telling you that something is wrong, follow your gut. While your doctor knows more about medicine than you (in most cases, I assume), you know your child better than the doctor does. In an ideal situation, you work together to come up with a diagnosis and treatment plan that seems to fit the situation. If you don't feel your child's doctor is listening to and addressing your concerns, then you should stand up for your child and find a new doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-05-17T20:37:17.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25006" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-18T04:04:31.637" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Very important! My daughter is a bit younger only 4.5 years old. &#xA;I made a mistake and I bought her a black/blue color Specialized kids bike, thinking it should be good for my son who is 2 years younger when she outgrows it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She hardly used it, because she had no personal connection to the bike and I could not make her use it more than a minute or two. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One day after an unsuccessful bike ride we saw a girl happily riding along with her pink Barbie bike and she loved it. &#xA;She wanted to have a pink Barbie bike! We went to Kmart and bought one for her. The quality was not even close to her old bike but it had all the bells and whistles for a girl such as front pink basket for her toys and a back seat for teddy. She loved it, I did not have to push it anymore she was riding happily by herself.&#xA;We also bought her a &quot;Shopkins&quot; scooter which was a big hit as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE:&#xA;I'm not sure that talking over the advantages and disadvantages of different bikes actually works. For me it sounds like convincing her that your choice is better than hers until she accepts your decision. You have to pick your fights and this is NOT an important one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless she already cycles some serious miles I doubt a 7 year would ride enough (1000 miles or so) to trash even the cheapest bike before she outgrows it (max 3-4 years). I cycle a lot and I would never buy my bike from a big box store, but for a little girl it's just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22205" LastEditorUserId="22205" LastEditDate="2016-05-23T06:30:21.130" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T06:30:21.130" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25007" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-18T04:35:13.263" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Color is certainly important to a 7 year old girl. However, at that age you should be able to negotiate a compromise with her. You can just explain to her that unfortunately the bikes don't come in pink, and then show her the available colors, and let her choose one of those.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find it's not really such a big problem. She may be equally happy with a white bike with pink stickers, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think it's necessary, or even desirable, to try to go to extreme lengths to suit her exact requirements. Learning to compromise is a very important life skill. There will certainly be times in her life where she cannot get exactly what she wants, and how well she copes with this will depend a great deal on what she learns as a young child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2017-03-26T03:57:12.967" LastActivityDate="2017-03-26T03:57:12.967" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25008" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25016" CreationDate="2016-05-18T05:18:08.527" Score="6" ViewCount="326" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was mostly a stay at home dad for the first year and a half of my son's life. By mostly I mean I was a full time student and we had some daycare for a couple hours a day starting very young so I could study and working up to 5-6 hours a day after he was a year old. Then I got a job. Its a decent job, but my wife is also working full time on an erratic schedule. Due to contract restrictions she can't just &quot;quit,&quot; nor does she want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have about 10 months left until our situation changes completely, and 6 months until things get easier from a scheduling perspective. So our situation seems like it may be temporary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While at daycare my son looked at the &quot;family wall&quot; where they have family pictures for the kids and stared for a minute before starting to cry. However, overall my son is a pretty happy guy. I'm travelling right now. Him and his mom were visiting family for two weeks, home for a week, and then I left for business for the week. But this is the reality of our schedule for the next few months. I come home, my wife leaves, she comes home, we have a couple days or maybe a week together as a family and then one of us will be travelling again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone out there been faced with this sort of situation? &#xA;Does anyone have any suggestions for how to teach my son (now 21 months) how to identify how he's feeling and keep things in perspective? &#xA;Is anyone aware of any long term consequences of a lifestyle like this (besides the counter intuitive greater sense of security he may gain in learning that we do come back and those times are great)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20229" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T19:19:32.563" Title="How to cope with going back to work as a stay at home dad with two working parents" Tags="|working-parents|coping|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24993" CreationDate="2016-05-18T11:10:11.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe this seems odd, but at 7 months you just put them in a room (or separate rooms for twins) close the door and they will fall asleep eventually. If your wife is actively calming them down then they will not learn to nap, only learn how to get her attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is something my wife and I read about but did not have the inner strength to do until our 3rd child and we found ourselves overwhelmed at nap AND bedtime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest is 11 now and youngest 6 and they are doing good!  (Not napping anymore, but letting them cry it out hasn't turned them into resentful children or anything like my wife and I used to think).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a final note, my last girl did not have a favorite &quot;blankey&quot; like the first two did.  So, I made sure she had the same blanket all the time and eventually it helped sooth her.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first there were days where they would be in their cribs awake for the whole time.  Sometimes crying (like an hour straight).  After a couple days they crying got much less and nap time began to be a blessing for all of us.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I was very apprehensive about 'abandoning them' the professionals were right about them surviving and growing to adapt to this new routine.  They also learned to be alone and that Mom and Dad would always be back for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T11:10:11.130" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25011" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-18T14:14:03.130" Score="1" ViewCount="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a lovely little boy that just passed the 1 year mark. I am blessed with such a child and am enjoying being a dad everyday. Now my second child is underway and while I am happy that they are very little years apart. I am also worried with the attention this new child will need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every child is different and I cannot predict how my second born child will be, it will (by experience) need alot of attention and dedication. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to handle this situation, where my attention towards my firstborn child is not neglected and that he will accept his new sibling in the best manner possible. I don't want him to feel left out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it bad parenting also that I am worried about this 4 months before this situation will even arise? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22211" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T14:14:03.130" Title="Make my firstborn adapt to baby" Tags="|toddler|newborn|parents|siblings|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2016-05-18T15:08:37.547" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-18T14:55:20.850" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why not buy her a good bike so that you get peace of mind that it won't fall apart and help her customize her bike to her color/design preferences?&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;That way, you win by getting a her decent bike and not having to change her mind, and she wins by getting her color choice. It can also be a bonding moment for the both of you by working on the customization together and she learns that you don't have to settle for what someone else is willing to sell (that she can create/make things instead of just being a consumer). She'll also have a much deeper appreciation/connection with something she made/worked on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22212" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T14:55:20.850" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-18T15:15:24.700" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take her with you to the hardware store to buy some nice pink paint. Let her pick out the color. Paint it with her with you probably doing most of the work. Use tape/newspaper to prevent the chrome parts or wheels from getting paint on them. Give her the option for pen stripes or other effects by adding a second coat of paint after it dries. It's something she'll always remember.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21133" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T15:15:24.700" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25015" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11939" CreationDate="2016-05-18T19:00:12.560" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Geeks tend to go for individual sports that emphasize skill over strength, and they also favor objective targets rather than competition. Definitely avoid team sports as they are often very geek-hostile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things to try include trampolining, table tennis (aka ping-pong), rock climbing, horse riding and BMX biking. Avoid buying lots of kit until you know you have something your geek likes; for now, emphasise lots of different things to try. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T19:00:12.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25008" CreationDate="2016-05-18T19:07:36.927" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard for them to understand why someone they love goes away.  And at that age when you tell them &quot;Mommy is going to be back in a week&quot; or &quot;Daddy will be back in three days&quot;, they can't understand.  They might be able to count to three, but the concept of three as applied to the passage of time is probably beyond their comprehension.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to have some of the same issues when my husband was gone on business trips, usually lasting a week or so.  My daughter missed him so much.  The daycare providers would ask me why she was so subdued; they were worried about her.  I suggested that they verbalize for her (she has aphasia, and so was unable to speak for herself), saying &quot;I know that your Daddy is gone for a while, and I think you must be very sad about that.&quot;  Just sharing that sorrow with her helped a lot.  Once it was expressed, she was able to move on past it better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's another thing that helped a little at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had photo-copied a number of airplane pictures.  If he was going to be gone six days I hung six airplanes on three to five inch yarn strings, and hung them on her bed.  Every night we got out the scissors and snipped the string for one of the airplanes.  She knew that after the last string was snipped, her Daddy would be in the house when she woke up the next morning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only did it give her a very easily understood way of knowing when Daddy would be back home, it made her feel as if she had a tiny bit of control over it, I think.  By snipping the strings it felt like she was bringing Daddy home little by little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T19:07:36.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25008" CreationDate="2016-05-18T19:19:32.563" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Going from your description, it sounds to me like it's not necessarily the separation from one parent, or both parents for the full day in daycare, but rather the changing nature of it all from one day and week to the next. That would be hard on his need for stability at this age. So anything you can do to make &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; schedule more regular day to day, even if that means more days or hours in daycare, it might help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T19:19:32.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24904" CreationDate="2016-05-18T20:06:23.813" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As for ways to handle being punched by other kids, if he sees them trying to punch him he can try to avoid being punched.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once I sometimes had to move a very large goat by dragging the heavy metal block he was chained to.  And three different times the goat charged at me.  Each time I caught him by the horns.  And instead of hitting him like some of my hot tempered relatives might have, I backed up until the goat was at the end of his chain, let go, walked away, and came back later hoping he wouldn't be so rambunctious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We eventually gave the goat away to a goat farm.  I have later learned that goats are very social animals that need to be with other goats or people.  And I have also learned that the family who had him before us treated him like a pet.  So I feel sorry I didn't treat the goat more like a pet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So maybe you could tell the your kid abut the lonely goat and point out that it was better for me to stop the goat from ramming me that it would have been for me to let him ram me and then hit him back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might suggest to your son that if he sees a kid trying to hit him he should avoid being hit instead of hitting back.  He could try to block or deflect the punch.  He could grab the other kid's arm and hold on like the Tar Baby.  He could try ducking or dodging or even running away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could suggest to your son that the best way for a big boy to be in charge a situation is to make sure that nobody gets hurt.  He should stop any kid who tries to hurt him and he should not hurt the other kid while stopping him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kid is much more the master of the situation if he stops the other kid from punching him without punching or hurting the other kid than your kid is if he punches or hurts the other kid while stopping him from hitting him or if he can't stop the other kid from punching him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And being liked by all the other kids so that none will want or try to punch him is the best method of all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22204" LastActivityDate="2016-05-18T20:06:23.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-05-19T01:53:02.993" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even as an adult, I find it hard to select the right amount to wear outside, especially if I take a long walk.  Even in cold weather, I can go out for a few minutes to take out the trash, for example, without starting to get cold.  When I go out for a long walk on a cold day I may be comfortable at first in warm outerwear and then after a while start to overheat from exertion and get sweaty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So children and adults may feel fine for the first few minutes outside in inside clothing.  Then they may start to feel cold and want warmer outerwear.  Then after playing for a while they may start to overheat and want to take off their outer layer of clothing.  But if they already sweat before they take off the outer clothing their sweat may start to freeze on their skin. So ideally people who go outside for a while may need to plan for all three or four stages (and maybe later stages) of reacting to cold temperatures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So perhaps adults could remind older children that how comfortable they feel playing outside is going to change as they spend longer time outdoors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if a kid says they feel comfortable and warm now, tell them that of course they feel comfortable and warm now because they are in the warm house, and they won't feel that comfortable and warm once they are outside for a few minutes and cool off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22204" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T01:53:02.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25024" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25029" CreationDate="2016-05-19T11:52:05.897" Score="5" ViewCount="185" Body="&lt;p&gt;Today I offered my four-year old some flash-cards we had made together of the letters: M, N, O, P, Q and R. (Having done A-F, G-L on the two days before). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We'd draw the letter, think of something for that letter, draw it, and then cut out the flashcard. For the previous two sets of letters, working through the flashcards in random order to identify letters had been a fun challenge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But today he threw up his hands and said &quot;No! I can't do it! You have to do them in order like the ABC song!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This left me feeling perplexed. I wanted to make my child feel like he can take on the world, and enjoy a challenge, but this one was too much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: &lt;strong&gt;How do I help my four-year old feel like they can do a challenge?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14841" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T03:17:51.323" Title="How do I help my four-year old feel like they can do a challenge?" Tags="|education|reading|self-esteem|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24951" CreationDate="2016-05-19T14:58:54.193" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh the drama of potty training...I've been in the child care business for over 10 years and have three grown children of my own, and here is my advise;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;STAY HOME AND DO THE JOB RIGHT.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get that there are a few families out there that maybe think the pull up thing worked for them, maybe it did because their child was ready, but the only sure way that I've ever seen success without frustration in potty training (that didn't take weeks &amp;amp; months of frustration) is to...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Wait till they are ready.&#xA;2) Don't start and stop!!!&#xA;3) Take the time to stay home, for a week or weekend, and do the job right.  This should not been seen as a &quot;last resort&quot;.  It should be the first thing you do.  Yes, I'm telling you to take time off, maybe use a long weekend holiday...what ever works.&#xA;4) Pull ups are a rip off.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is part of having a child.  It is not your daycare providers job, the grandparents job or anyone else's job to potty train your child.  This idea that you can do it and still go out to dinner, go shopping, visit friends...well it will eventually take but it's going to take weeks of frustration, lots of money invested in pull ups and a great deal of confusion on&#xA;the part of the child and the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about it from your child's point of view...with a pull up, its' still basically a diaper, that they are now told they can't pee in...then there is an adult setting there telling them to pee on demand.  How would that make you feel? It's confusing and scary.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The saddest thing I've seen over the last few years are parents trying to get their child trained by a certain age or for the sake of pre-school.  If the child is not ready, he just isn't ready.  Pushing him is only going to make the experience traumatizing and frustrating for everyone. The children who are &quot;forced&quot; into doing it early also tend to have more public accidents and other bathroom issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure there will be all kinds of people that disagree and have different stories, that's fine.  But I've seen what does and doesn't work.  And unless you want to spend the next 3-6 months in potty training hell...I suggest you choose a few days or a week to stay home and just do it 100%. There are tons of books and info out there on how to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T14:58:54.193" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25026" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-19T15:21:25.483" Score="1" ViewCount="290" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7-year-old daughter who sometimes likes to go out without me or her mom. Last week we had an incident that she went out of the school premises and got herself in trouble. In my opinion, she is not old enough to be on her own &lt;strong&gt;yet&lt;/strong&gt;. She doesn't know about the dangers of the world out there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few yeas ago, I saw the movie &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0380510/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Lovely Bones&lt;/a&gt; that greatly touched me. I was wondering if it is a right thing to have her watch this film? My concern is that the damage might be greater than the benefit. Do you have other suggestions to teach her to stay with us, e. g. at the mall, that do not scare her or impact her confidence? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22199" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-18T14:30:54.433" LastActivityDate="2018-05-18T14:30:54.433" Title="How to make sure my 7-year-old daughter doesn't go outside alone, without scaring her or impacting her confidence?" Tags="|primary-schooler|safety|outdoor|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25027" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25026" CreationDate="2016-05-19T16:20:16.560" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I haven't seen that movie myself, but &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/the-lovely-bones#&quot;&gt;Common Sense Media&lt;/a&gt; recommends it as not being appropriate for under 16, and the parents and kids reviewing it on the site recommend not for under 13, so I'd be a bit leery about showing it to a 7 year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are generally better options for trying to keep your kids safe rather than scaring them, though there certainly are things out there to be healthily scared about.  Here's an article with some suggestions: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.kidpower.org/library/article/safe-without-scared/&quot;&gt;https://www.kidpower.org/library/article/safe-without-scared/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main idea is to have a set of rules, and make sure the kid knows what is expected and what to do.  If they are unable or unwilling to follow the rules, then they aren't ready to do that activity.  My daughter will often perform a lot better in most situations if I point out that she needs to meet our expectations to keep or earn a particular privilege.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T16:20:16.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25024" CreationDate="2016-05-19T16:56:04.977" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Drew, that the odds are very good that he's complaining about your order not because it's hard but out of a sense of following the 'rules'.  My four year old might well have had a similar complaint when he was at this stage of learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answering the question as asked, though, the main thing is simply to reward &lt;em&gt;effort&lt;/em&gt;, not &lt;em&gt;success&lt;/em&gt;.  Rewarding effort teaches them to try.  Rewarding success teaches them to only try things they will succeed at - so it discourages trying at hard things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it's hard not to cheer successes, and if that's the case, it's important to set the definition of success at an appropriate level so that you're really cheering the effort.  You want the goal to be attainable, and then cheer attaining that goal, and then continue to the next further out goal.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you end up doing when you break it up like that is teaching him strategies for overcoming a hard task.  Just like an adult would, right?  You have a hard task, you break it up into smaller pieces and tackle each one separately, one at a time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T16:56:04.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25026" CreationDate="2016-05-19T18:32:10.147" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A fiercely independent seven year old girl who views &lt;em&gt;The Lovely Bones&lt;/em&gt; might take the lesson that it's all right if she gets murdered because she can always expose her murderer or comfort her family via supernatural means from the next life. Far from scaring her into submission, the movie would be more likely to tempt her with a promise of greater power over the world around her than she ever had while alive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20278" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T18:32:10.147" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-19T21:51:01.527" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I upvoted Joe's answer, and I see no need to repeat it. Just a couple of notes I'd add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't belittle her concern about the color. Such things can be very important to people in general and to little girls in particular. When we bought a new house a few years ago it was very important to my then-16-year-old daughter that her room be repainted purple. And hey, as a 50+ year-old man, I thought the lime green bathroom looked awful and I painted that tan. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've heard parents berate their children that they're being stupid for getting all concerned about the color or some other esthetic detail, and I think that's just mean. What IS reasonable is, as Joe and others have said, to point out the problem to her: You said you wanted a bike that was pink, but you also said you wanted a basket (or whatever other concerns ares), and look, we just can't find a bike that's pink AND that has a basket. Which is more important to you? You're going to have to decide. (At that point if she screams and throws a tantrum and demands you find her a bike with both, that's a different sort of issue.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can see a problem if it's a choice between something esthetic like color and something like quality of construction. Does your 7 yo understand the significance of different welding techniques, or even of metal versus plastic parts? Frankly, that's often a challenge for adults, trying to judge things like quality of construction versus esthetics and fancy features.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're prepared to buy a bike of another color and paint it, that's certainly a solution. Get her involved in painting it and it could become a father/daughter or mother/daughter project. That's the sort of activity kids will remember many years later. (I have pleasant memories to this day of my father teaching me basic auto maintenance tasks when I got my first car. Okay, I was a lot older than 7, but I think those were some of our best &quot;bonding&quot; times.) But painting a bike right is a fair amount of work, not the sort of thing you're going to do in 15 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14081" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T21:51:01.527" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25034" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25041" CreationDate="2016-05-19T21:59:52.307" Score="6" ViewCount="1819" Body="&lt;p&gt;My four year old (nearly five) is reading very well, level 2 easy readers already, and in general showing signs of enjoying reading quite a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He still has one issue that trips him up constantly, though: 'b' and 'd'.  He gets them wrong 50% of the time (i.e., he's always guessing).  He knows that he gets them wrong, and he's smart enough to try the other one if it's making a word he doesn't know, but still, frustrating!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think he's dyslexic or anything like that (he's picked up reading really, really quickly, and can read relatively complex texts if he takes his time); most likely, taking his time is the issue - he, like me, is quick and speeds through things a bit too much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does still have a lot of 'mirror' issues when writing - he can write entire words in mirror text unintentionally (right to left, making the word exactly as if it were reflected on a vertical axis immediately preceding the first letter, each letter backwards and in the opposite order).  I know this is fairly common with children, even at this age.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His teacher showed me a number writing sheet (writing the numbers 1 to 50, in rows of 10) where he wrote every '4' correctly and the tens digit before the '4', so '14' '24' etc. correct, but every other numeral backwards.  My hypothesis is that he has to take his time on the '4' (hardest numeral to write) so it slows him down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I work with him to get 'b' and 'd' right, and in the other case (writing) write correctly?  I can of course monitor his writing practice and remind him that he's writing backwards, but that seems less helpful when he's doing it without me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's relevant, he's not all that good at right/left yet in general, either.  His three year old brother is better already at that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2019-11-23T07:57:49.317" Title="Helping my four year old not mistake 'b' and 'd' (or 'p' and 'q')" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|reading|handwriting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24982" CreationDate="2016-05-19T22:52:56.270" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You've tried already to ask and your parents have said that they are willing to accommodate you, but they continue to salt according to their taste. I have two suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Be specific about the amount of salt.&lt;/strong&gt; So instead of &quot;can you use less salt?&quot;, try something more like &quot;can you use half the amount of salt that the recipe calls for?&quot; Because maybe they are using &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; salt, but not enough less for your tastes. Or alternatively, &quot;could you use no salt, and we'll just add what we like afterwards?&quot; And, as someone mentioned, the best time to do this is while they are cooking, sometime before they put the salt in.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use herbs.&lt;/strong&gt; The older one gets, the harder it is to taste. Adding salt is (pardon me for being blunt) an unimaginative means of adding 'big' flavor to food. It is cheap and easy to come by and no one feels like it is terribly exotic these days, so it is a habitual additive that makes us old folks feel like we're eating food instead of blah. In order to give food that big flavor without using salt, try convincing your parents to substitute in herbs instead. This worked for me when I had to cut salt out of my diet for a while. Basil and rosemary were two of my favorites for this purpose although garlic, cumin, mint, oregano, and paprika were also good, depending on what I was eating. Vinegars and olives can also add a really nice savory flavor if that's what you're craving. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2016-05-19T22:52:56.270" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-20T00:17:04.753" Score="1" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't expect her to explain intelligently why does she want a pink bike. At the age of 7, she knows she strongly wants a pink bike, but she is not psychologically competent enough to understand why.  Note that we adults are also often unable to explain why we like/dislike something.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There are several possible reasons why she wants a pink bike. Most of them are important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The pink bike may associate with girls. Then having the pink bike is part of establishing her gender identity. Would you, as a boy, like to wear girl's clothes?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When a child wants X, and you refuse, instead suggesting Y, he wants X more, and hates Y.  It is not because the child is stupid.  It is because, for a child, it is very important to make her own decisions.  It is more important that the decision will be her own than that the decision will be right, because a child needs to learn on her mistakes.  For us adults it is also important to make our own decisions, but we usually can do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Peer pressure. She might be bullied by her peers for using a wrongly colored bike. There are all kinds of arbitrary rules among children (or among adults, for that matter).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Collective wisdom. She knows from her peers that pink is cool.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You might suggest her another color, or explain the options, but most chances she will still choose a pink bike. Don't force your own choice, and don't demand her to explain her reasons. If she will choose her own bike, she will love it. If you will buy her a bike she doesn't want, she may hate it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14486" LastEditorUserId="14486" LastEditDate="2016-05-20T01:05:27.243" LastActivityDate="2016-05-20T01:05:27.243" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24982" CreationDate="2016-05-20T00:52:24.700" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would address this the same way I would address this with a child (even though it's the reverse here).  Sit down, have a conversation, where you discuss with them your feelings, why you want what you want, ask them why they do what they do, and then see if you can find a middle ground.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After all, your solution (salt less in the cooked food then individual salt to taste) seems eminently reasonable, though I don't know the specifics.  Why won't they agree to that?  Find out the reason, and try to approach it non-judgmentally and non-argumentatively.  Just like your parents should take you seriously when trying to find out why you want/choose to do something they would like you not to do, do the same for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when you explain your side of things to them, I strongly suggest sticking to your preferences and health only, and not suggesting they cut back on their own; might be appropriate also, might not be, but better left for another time.  You'll get more resistance if they think you're trying to tell them how to live, same as you'd resist them if they were telling you how to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; they salt the food so much (and why they won't stop), and they understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; you want them to salt it less, perhaps you'll both find a solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps that solution is cooking food that doesn't require so much salt (Curry, Spaghetti, things with strongly flavored sauces for example).  Perhaps the solution is changing some food to have less salt and not others.  Perhaps it's changing to a different kind of salt - Koshering salt you can usually use substantially less (same volume, but bigger crystals means much less actual salt by weight), for example, and still have the taste impact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And perhaps in some cases they have reasons for using salt the way they do.  In the culinary world, salt has some very useful effects that are important for certain dishes.  Well salted eggplant or zucchini, for example, is important when baking in order to draw the water out (the salt can be removed afterwards with a towel, in some cases).  Salting a steak before cooking is important if you like a crispy skin on it.  There might still be a middle ground (where some, but less, salt is used, or again koshering salt or similar large crystal salt), or you might be able to stomach more salt on things it's needed on if you get less on others - who knows.  But you'll never know unless you talk about it and find out their reasoning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, if you do have a long conversation about it, it may well &lt;em&gt;stick in their heads&lt;/em&gt; more effectively; perhaps the issue here is simply memory and old habits.  Include, perhaps, a discussion of what they can do to remember to include less salt.  Perhaps they salt by the 'pinch' method or use a shaker; perhaps they could switch to using teaspoons and measure it properly.  Try to think of a few suggestions along these lines that are &lt;em&gt;actionable&lt;/em&gt; (i.e., things they can specifically do, not just general opinions).  This sort of thing is very useful in the business world once you get there, as well; learning how to not only convince people to do what you want them to, but learning how to &lt;em&gt;get&lt;/em&gt; them to do it as well, and being action-oriented.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-05-20T00:52:24.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25034" CreationDate="2016-05-20T05:55:16.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mirror issues are extremely common - and if you think way back to prehistoric times, it was crucial for our ancestors to recognize the pawprint of a predator or prey, not whether it was a left or right paw. (That would be for the better hunters - aka readers today.) That's how our brains are still wired for a large part. The fact that your child still has them, puts the &lt;em&gt;p/q&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;b/d&lt;/em&gt; issues right in that context, as you noted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But you need a practical approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The most important thing until the brain per se takes the next step is &lt;em&gt;practise&lt;/em&gt;, but please not boring repetitive exercises for a child that is pretty advanced and enjoys reading and writing. Continuing with reading and writing should be enough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Some visual &quot;clutch&quot; can be helpful. Find a left-right distinction he's already familiar with and connect that to some part of the letter. This depends a lot on what he's familiar with and partly on you native language. Recognizing one of the pair via rhyme or visual image can be enough.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For our son, a 'd' was him writing with the right hand in &quot;Druckschrift&quot; (German word for &quot;print&quot;): the bow was the bent arm holding the paper, the straight line, the pen.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Do not say &quot;the 'b' has the bow on the right side&quot; - for someone with mirror issues, left and right get mixed up often, like in your son. Ours is almost ten and still has to think when given verbal left/right directions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-05-20T05:55:16.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25040" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-20T11:57:50.523" Score="2" ViewCount="1978" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 4 months old and he is taking Soy protein formula milk from second month and no mother’s milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also taking Rice Cereal twice a day; while preparing the cereal we’re adding a pinch of Sugar to make it sweeten as per our PDs suggestion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, my elders and friends suggest that we shouldn’t give sugar and salt on this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can someone advice what is the right age to start giving Sugar and Salts in infants foods, please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22152" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T06:00:03.353" Title="When can we start give Sugar and Salts to infants?" Tags="|infant|food|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25034" CreationDate="2016-05-20T14:23:07.980" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have some experience with literacy, and not much experience with writing. This advice is picked up from listening in on literacy teachers' strategy sessions. Here are my suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Not to worry.&lt;/strong&gt; He's writing already -- he's ahead of other 4-year-olds -- when he gets into kindergarten and first grade, this will probably all work itself out. It's not something to worry too much about until then.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pick one and stick with it.&lt;/strong&gt; If you want to help now anyway, for writing or reading practice, pick either 'b' or 'd' and &lt;em&gt;drill it&lt;/em&gt;. This will cause your son to differentiate between the letters more easily because one will become habitual. This is the same technique you can use for right-left distinction. First you learn 'right', 'right', 'right' until you can do it without thinking, then you learn 'left', 'left', 'left'. Adults are used to thinking of these as opposites or mirrors so we forget that symmetry is a concept that is taught.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try tracing and saying.&lt;/strong&gt; Using a finger to trace the letters and saying the letter aloud at the same time is a really helpful, especially for very young children. It helps consolidate letter formation and naming.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Use a special workbook.&lt;/strong&gt; If your son thinks it's fun (my boys liked them because it made them feel grownup), you might try a handwriting notebook. I've heard good things about &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0062TL0G6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Handwriting Without Tears&lt;/a&gt;. My sons' school uses this curriculum. My littlest still writes mirror sometimes, but his handwriting is remarkably legible for a 5 year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastEditorUserId="1969" LastEditDate="2016-11-28T14:14:51.023" LastActivityDate="2016-11-28T14:14:51.023" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25042" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25040" CreationDate="2016-05-20T15:46:39.973" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the first year, infants should have no more than &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/824.aspx?CategoryID=51&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;0.4g of sodium (1g of salt) per day&lt;/a&gt;.  Odds are they will get most of that through naturally occurring salts.  More than this can be &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/x555836/can-i-put-salt-in-my-babys-food&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;dangerous for your baby's kidneys&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After one year old, you can start adding small amounts of salt to foods, though it's probably not necessary in most cases.  Especially if you find them eating foods like french fries from time to time, that's going to give them a day's worth of salt right there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as sugar, there's not as much risk as there is from salt, though if you head over to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4388/what-is-effect-of-giving-sugar-to-an-infant&quot;&gt;this question/answer&lt;/a&gt;, you can read an excellent summary of the potential risks.  More importantly to me, if you feed your child mostly sweet things, they will eat only sweet things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is true even later in life; sugar changes the information your tastebuds give you, and if you go off sugar for a while, you'll start noticing you like things you didn't before.  Train your children to like savory foods from an early age, and you won't have a challenge with them eating when they're older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, you should talk to your pediatrician about this.  If they instructed you to put some sugar in the cereal, they may have done so for a reason - so find out why.  If it's just to make it taste better, but there's no health reason (your baby is not underweight), they likely will tell you it's fine to leave it off.  But verify that first, in case they do have concerns about the weight of your baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good alternative to sugar is to give your baby a few vegetables before cereal; there's &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/feeding-nutrition/Pages/Switching-To-Solid-Foods.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;no need to feed cereal first&lt;/a&gt;, and vegetables are excellent sources of interesting tastes.  Then when cereal is introduced, it can be mixed with vegetables that the baby has already tried.  Make sure you're only introducing one or two foods per week at first, and one at a time (to be able to isolate allergic responses).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-05-20T15:46:39.973" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5596" CreationDate="2016-05-20T17:26:40.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the answers so far are not reading the question. It's not about moving on from nappies, but how to stop the nappy pant leaking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would look at different brands. The cut and size can make a difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The clothing worn make a a difference too. Trousers will keep the pants in place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a good waterproof mattress protectors it needn't be a big feel anyway...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20633" LastActivityDate="2016-05-20T17:26:40.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25044" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25045" CreationDate="2016-05-20T17:37:33.493" Score="4" ViewCount="1028" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in south India, most of PDs are not suggesting the parents to take feeding bottles for their infants; the main reason is that feeding bottles are made up of plastics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though we affirmed that we’re using only &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisphenol_A&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;BPA&lt;/a&gt; free bottles, the PDs are not happy; they suggest to use only ‘paladai-or-sangu’ to give milk or medicines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Herewith, I’ve attached the photograph of paladai for reference &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/gpz6D.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/gpz6D.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;paladai-or-sangu-for-babies&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;– it is usually made up of aluminium or silver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I know, our elders used this mainly because it is bacteria-free, non-toxic, boosts immunity and cools the body - mainly, it will retain and restore the freshness of water and liquids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was okay (not all the time), when we gave him medicines using this paladai, however it is really, really tricky and hard to give formula milk using this – he is taking formula milk from 2 months old and now he is 4 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I even sterilize my son’s feeding bottles after every feeding - sterilize the bottles with running water and hot boiling water; can someone advice what is really harmful about using feeding bottles? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What type of feeding bottles can we use then? As confirmed, we’re using only BPA free bottles – not tried with Glass bottles yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22152" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-01T14:55:41.560" LastActivityDate="2018-09-01T14:55:41.560" Title="Can feeding bottles harm our infant?" Tags="|infant|safety|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25044" CreationDate="2016-05-20T18:00:18.177" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're using BPA and Pthalate free bottles and nipples, then what we can say is that there's no known significant concern from doing so.  It's impossible to say that there are &lt;em&gt;no&lt;/em&gt; side effects, though,and there could well be other endocrine disruptors not yet known in the plastics (BPA after all was not known about immediately, either).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will have to weight that for yourself, whether that is a risk worth taking. If your son has a hard time eating from other methods, it seems like that's more of a concern than a small risk from plastics, particularly if you can't afford glass or other options. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Glass is likely the least concerning, as it's effectively inert silicon dioxide which is well understood.  That's what we used (Glass bottles with silicon nipples); they're very easy to sterilize and easy to use.  Just put a silicon sleeve around them to ensure they don't break as easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The claims of 'boosts immunity' are largely incorrect; metals don't do any such thing unless you are deficient in that metal.  As far as cooling the body, I find that irrelevant (you don't want formula cool, you want it warm!).  Being bacteria free is true to a large extent - it's easier to sterilize metal or glass than plastic, though glass is better (more scratch resistant; scratches can harbor bacteria or other things).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-05-20T18:00:18.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25044" CreationDate="2016-05-20T23:26:40.457" Score="1" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;As far as I know, our elders are used this mainly because it is&#xA;  bacteria free, boosts immunity, non toxic and cools the body - mainly,&#xA;  it will retain and restores freshness of water and liquids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boosts immunity?  How?  Cools the body?  Huh?  What is the mechanism by which silver &quot;refreshes&quot; a liquid?  What does that even mean?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People were using it because it's what they had on hand, that's all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BPA-free bottles are fine.  Anything that gets the milk into the baby, and is easy to clean is fine.  The paladai is fine too, IF it's working for you.  But it certainly is not as magic as you described it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plastic bottles don't need to be sterilized (except before the first use), provided you have safe drinking water available for washing.  Just washed in warm soapy water.  Use boiling water one a week if you want, you don't have to do that every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2016-05-24T11:22:21.540" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T11:22:21.540" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25047" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-21T01:40:54.233" Score="1" ViewCount="878" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was at Costco getting milk for my 2.5 year old daughter, and my wife prefers the expensive organic stuff. I'm more skeptical about these things, and I don't like spending extra when I don't understand the benefit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The math, assuming 2 servings (8 oz) per day:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Horizon 2% fat organic milk with DHA - &lt;strong&gt;$34.29&lt;/strong&gt; per month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kirkland 2% fat milk - &lt;strong&gt;$8.37&lt;/strong&gt; per month&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;difference&lt;/em&gt; is $25.92 per month. If the trend continues that's $311.04 extra in a year, which is significant enough for me to ask: Does this expensive milk have any &lt;em&gt;actual&lt;/em&gt; benefits over the standard milk?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18956" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T04:03:54.590" Title="Is the expensive (organic, with DHA) milk better for my toddler than the regular milk?" Tags="|toddler|milk|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="8" FavoriteCount="0" ClosedDate="2016-05-21T20:31:09.497" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25047" CreationDate="2016-05-21T13:07:03.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No&lt;/strong&gt;, it's unlikely to be worth it from a health perspective.  There's &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organic_food#Health_and_safety&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;essentially no evidence&lt;/a&gt; that organic food is any &quot;better&quot; (or worse) for you, and the jury is still out for the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Docosahexaenoic_acid#Potential_health_effects&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;effects of DHA&lt;/a&gt;: while there are some studies indicating it might slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease or inhibit growth of colon cancer, neither is likely to be a significant concern for the average two-year-old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Safety is best thought of as tradeoffs, not absolutes.  For example, given that &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/motorvehiclesafety/child_passenger_safety/cps-factsheet.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death in young children&lt;/a&gt;, that $300/year would likely provide a far higher benefit if invested in (say) a better child seat or a reversing camera for your car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update for clarity&lt;/strong&gt;: I understand the argument that there &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be benefits to eating organic food and that, all things being equal, you probably don't want your kids eating any more pesticides, hormones, etc than necessary.  My point is simply that there is &lt;em&gt;currently no actual evidence&lt;/em&gt; that eating organic food makes any sort of perceptible difference, and you need to weigh the &lt;em&gt;actual&lt;/em&gt; extra cost against both the possible benefits and alternative uses of that money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastEditorUserId="3248" LastEditDate="2016-05-23T04:03:54.590" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T04:03:54.590" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25049" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-21T18:30:13.310" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I happen to have a 7-year old girl who's getting a bike for her birthday.  We had a lot of medical expenses the last couple of months and we decided that instead of NOT getting her a bike, we would purchase a used one.  We've been going over options and we spotted a bike in very good condition.  Only problem: it has a Spiderman motif.  I explained the situation to my daughter who answered &quot;I don't care, as long as I get a bike to ride I don't care if it has Spiderman on it. I want to ride it, not look at it. &quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of trying to convince the OP's little gir, just explain to her that the nicest bikes come only in x, y, z color.  But that you'll buy a pink basket and streamers /stickers/etc. if she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We found a fixer-upper today for €15 vs €189 new bike - my daughter spent the afternoon soaping it up, shining it and my husband hooking up a hot-pink basket in front of the handlebars.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These memories alone of the whole family coming together to find and fix-up her &quot;new&quot; bike are priceless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ciao,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;L&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22262" LastActivityDate="2016-05-21T18:30:13.310" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25051" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-21T19:21:37.863" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think there are a couple of factors here. Obviously you want to be able to get your daughter the thing that she wants, that is perfectly natural. However it will certainly do here no harm at all to get a sense that it is not guaranteed that you will get exactly what you want without some difficulty. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here I think the  key thing is to get her involved in the whole process and letting her make some of the decision may make the whole process more interesting for her of course being aware that at this age she may not really understand exactly what is is that she really wants so some patience on your part may be required. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you make it a thing for the two of you to choose a bike &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt; you may find you get more out of it than if you just hand it over as a present &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22264" LastActivityDate="2016-05-21T19:21:37.863" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-22T10:10:14.773" Score="-2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I wonder how important the color of a bike should be for a 7-year-old girl? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Very important.  To a 7-year-old girl, the most important attribute for a bike is often the color.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;There are many good bike options, but they don’t come in the pink color that she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good to &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; or good to &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She wants pink.  That's what's good to her.  Don't try to fit her into your mindset.  Fit yourself into her mindset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a bike.  She wants pink.  They make pink bikes.  Get her one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am trying to decide whether I should try to change her mind, or just go with whatever bike with the color that she likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why would you want to change her mind?  So she can want what &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; value?  It's fine if you want to explain your values to her, as long as you are willing to respect what she values.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, this is &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;her&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; bike, not yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind, she's already clearly and effectively communicated with you what she values:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &lt;strong&gt;She values pink.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to make it extra special for her, consider putting a big, beautiful pink bow on it and attaching some &lt;a href=&quot;https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B000AO7IBU&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;sparkly pink streamers&lt;/a&gt; to the handlebars like the ones below.  To a 7 year old girl who loves pink, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;there is no such thing as too much pink&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Sfqdi.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Sfqdi.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Sparkly pink streamers&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Image Source: Amazon.com&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22177" LastEditorUserId="22177" LastEditDate="2016-05-22T10:41:31.177" LastActivityDate="2016-05-22T10:41:31.177" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25053" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-22T18:16:27.257" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;How important &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; it be? I have the strong opinion that it &lt;em&gt;shouldn't&lt;/em&gt; be at all — in an ideal world. But, given that you have an actual daughter with an actual self, rather than a theoretical one, it is likely to be &lt;em&gt;very very important&lt;/em&gt;, and you should treat it with seriousness and respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Human beings have a strong need for  categorization. It's how we understand the world — and this includes how we understand &lt;em&gt;ourselves&lt;/em&gt;. In our society, one of the big categories is gender identity. We bombard our children with this &lt;em&gt;incessantly&lt;/em&gt;, from overt things like separate girls' and boys' aisles in toy stores to unthinking ones like having girls and boys line up separately in school to go to recess. So, it's natural that as individual identity is forming, children latch strongly to the signifiers of gender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly recommend reading &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/23/books/review/Paul-t.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Cinderella Ate My Daughter&lt;/a&gt; by Peggy Orenstein for an insightful look into the child development and cultural factors behind this. She has a great story about a preschool who wore hair barrettes to school, and was teased as &quot;being a girl&quot;. When he pulls down his pants to demonstrate that he is not, the classmate laughs: &quot;&lt;em&gt;Everyone&lt;/em&gt; has a penis. Only girls wear barrettes!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this isn't &lt;em&gt;inherently&lt;/em&gt; bad. But, it can become very bad when it limits options — in this case, where the only pink bikes are inferior (or at least inferior in the same price range). That really puts you in a bind — and your daughter too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At seven, you daughter is probably old enough to grasp the injustice of this, at least in a basic way. And, it's not like this situation is going to just go away as she gets older.  I'd suggest explaining it — that the pink options are really restricted, and that it's not fair, and laying out some other options for decoration — but ultimately let her make the decision. Maybe she'll be perfectly happy with it; maybe she'll grow to realize that she could have prioritized things differently and gotten a better bike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the good thing is that she'll probably grow and not have this one for very long, anyway. Perhaps next time, she'll choose differently (in either direction!) as her needs and understanding grow and change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="178" LastActivityDate="2016-05-22T18:16:27.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25054" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25059" CreationDate="2016-05-22T20:19:00.847" Score="2" ViewCount="356" Body="&lt;p&gt;(UK) My girl is 11 months old and is now too big for her baby bouncer chair, which she really loves and it is convenient to put her in to keep her out of the way for a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What comes next? Is there a larger baby bouncer for a 1-2 year old? Is there something else on the market? I think a larger bouncing chair would be ideal for her rather than just surrounding her with pillows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9297" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-24T17:48:17.270" LastActivityDate="2018-08-24T17:48:17.270" Title="What is next after a baby bouncing chair?" Tags="|toddler|age-appropriate|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25024" CreationDate="2016-05-23T00:58:18.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Two strategies for teaching grit and perseverance 1. Demonstrate it - this happens naturally, but I make it a point to explain in age appropriate terms how I am working towards my goals.&#xA;2. Look for and encourage grit in your child. When they put in extra effort, even if it does not lead to success let your child know you are proud.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T00:58:18.420" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25056" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25054" CreationDate="2016-05-23T04:05:14.000" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your youngster is likely to be crawling/walking soon if not already. She will need to develop the appropriate musculature and balance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some parents switch to a baby play pen at this point, and others baby-proof their homes and let their kid have at it. Either way, be sure to lock your doors with bolts at this age, as my son in particular always wanted to follow daddy to work and will not know any better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically to your question, there are some models of chairs attached to tables, kind of like a low highchair with wheels that slides across the floor. But nothing I know of that bounces. My son was a bouncer, and we looked for something when he was around 10 months old, didn't find anything, and then were amazed how quickly he could crawl as soon as he was given opportunity all day. (We were not play pen people.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T04:05:14.000" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24998" CreationDate="2016-05-23T17:02:49.393" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I started posting this as a comment and it became to long. Joe's answer is awesome, for the record. You should read it in conjunction with this one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 7 years old, color is important. You need to be prepared for the fact that no &quot;parent logic&quot; is gonna override the &quot;but I want pink, Lizzy has pink and I want pink too&quot;. That said, this is an important opportunity for a lesson, or several lessons. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, IMO, you can teach cost v.s. quality v.s. lifespan. For example, I took a look at my local bike shop and there were basically 2 options. $700 for a bike the right size for a seven year old girl. This bike would work for a couple of years and have to be replaced because of size. Or around $1,600. The more expensive bike would last them into their late teens. It's adjustable enough to keep with their growth long enough that the next bike they will buy should be as an adult (or close to it). Neither of these options come in pink however. Of course you can always go to Target or the like and shop around $200, but those bikes may or may not make it a year. They may have them in pink. Now this is a trick lesson to try to impart. Specially if it's their first bike, or they are not using their own money. You can try to point out all the benefits of the more expensive &quot;last forever&quot; bike, but it's going to be boring, and not really compete with pink. Rather you can impart this lesson or not is going to depend on the child, and why they want a bike. If your thinking family biking runs, and doing it as a hobby, then push for the more expensive bike. If they want a bike because everyone else has one, and she's not really an outdoor person, or your not an outdoor family, then you can use the expensive bike as a &quot;too much for the goals, more isn't always better&quot; lesson. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, you can teach &quot;future proofing&quot; purchases. IMO this is an important lesson to teach when ever you can. At 7 not much is gonna last more then a few months. A bike is going to last a long time. So you can use it to teach &quot;What you like today, you may not like tomorrow&quot; and the value of making choices that you can change later. Use examples like kids cartoons that they out grew. Or stuffed toys that they don't find &quot;cool&quot; any more. This works especially well with things they liked, but don't like cause &quot;it's for babies&quot;. Show them that a neutral color with pink trimmings, baskets, tassels, handle bars, tires, whatever means they if they decide they don't like pink they can change it later for much less then the cost of a new bike. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, teach proper bike safety. There is a lot to  owning a bike, and a lot of this is going to depend on circumstance and goals. But bike safety is important. The proper way to ride in the road, or on a shared path. Rather to be on the sidewalks or bike lane. What side of the road to ride on. Rather or not to ride on the sidewalk. What are good areas and bad areas to ride in. Again this is very dependent on where you are. I live in a city, and there is a decent amount of support for biking. That said, there's no way I would encourage my 7 year old to ride in the bike lane. I would teach them to ride at one of the bike trails, to walk the bike when crossing the street, not to ride on the sidewalk, and how to ride in the streets around the house. I would also set some boundaries about where they could ride alone. But in among all theses are discussions about laws, lights, reflectors, clothing colors, helmets, and the like. Perhaps even how pink can't be a color for some of those. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, a bike is a big purchase. Color is going to be important, but you should, IMO, use this purchase as a lesson on how color should not be &quot;the most important&quot; thing, and start discussions about how boring things are important too. At 7 there are not a lot of opportunities for this, might as well use them when you can.  In the end be prepared, either way, for the 7 year old to act as a 7 year old. You may have to move your foot in a downward direction, or accept that pink is what she wants and work around it. In either case, make sure you add your needs (like safety and reliability, re-uasability, and cost) over the top while still remembering it's her bike, and she's the one that has to ride it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T17:02:49.393" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25059" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25054" CreationDate="2016-05-23T17:06:22.600" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age you can have a good play mat or floor surface and have toys on the floor. A baby that age doesn't want to be cooped up in a bouncer/exersaucer-like thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T17:06:22.600" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24943" CreationDate="2016-05-23T17:58:46.187" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have five kids, and we have found this book invaluable: &quot;Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child&quot; by Marc Weissbluth (on Amazon: &lt;a href=&quot;http://amzn.to/1WdggMU&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://amzn.to/1WdggMU&lt;/a&gt;). This has been invaluable for us in understanding our children's sleep rhythms, with practical advice on how to make it work for a variety of age groups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would ask your child's doctor about sleep, and see if she/he has any ideas on what you might try. Your child's doctor has a lot more information than we do, so I'd seek and follow that advice first (If you haven't already done that).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, some kids don't seem to need as much sleep as other kids. We have a friend whose toddler would only sleep for about 3 hours each night, no matter what they tried. This went on for several years. They locked him in his room, and locked his window so he couldn't get out[1], and he played and read and did whatever during the time he had to be in his room at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For us, we decided to get a king size bed so that kids could come in to our room during the night and it wasn't especially uncomfortable (most of the time). My in-laws kept a thin mattress under the bed, and the kid could pull out the mattress and sleep on it if they weren't comfortable in their own bed/room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your health and mental well being is important too! So find a balance that works for you, your partner, AND your kid.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[1]: I'm certainly not saying that this is the best solution, or that it will work for you. There are several things you need to consider, including fire safety (what happens if there is a fire and your kid can't get out the door OR window). What I AM saying is that you have to figure out what works for you and your family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T17:58:46.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25062" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24942" CreationDate="2016-05-23T18:21:28.277" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Reading is the best practice for spelling. My suggestion is to not focus so hard on &quot;spelling&quot; practice, like it's its own discipline. Reading, writing, and spelling are all part of the same set of skills. Have your child read books out loud to you casually while you sit on the couch. You don't have to really pay attention, but if you hear the child mispronounce a word, correct her (this is very important). The more she sees words and speaks them, the more she will intuit our language's vast array of spelling rules. This type of activity coordinates, in the brain, seeing words and speaking them, parsing their meaning and their spelling, and will create more neural connections than just sitting there practicing spelling. It also bonds you and your child at a learning level in an informal context. I'm not saying to ignore the spelling assignments, but remember that &quot;spelling&quot; is really not important for a 7-year old -- reading and writing are. Reading and writing build connections, spelling is just precision. Think of it like shooting a bow and arrow. There's no need for precision until you are fluent in the basic mechanics, but practicing the basic mechanics also will improve precision implicitly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14968" LastActivityDate="2016-05-23T18:21:28.277" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25024" CreationDate="2016-05-24T03:17:51.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You will have to persevere yourself to teach perseverance: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Slowly introduce an activity which is fun but which they are not good at. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Repeat the activity frequently, increasing the complexity, and making it more and more fun. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Express how much better they are getting at it, just from having practiced before. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Be patient and persevere until they realize that practice makes perfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;( Having lived through the experience of improving slowly at something is one of the basic ingredients for actually behaving with perseverance late run life.... )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T03:17:51.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25066" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-24T10:02:00.397" Score="0" ViewCount="273" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter -who is almost 3 years old- never picked up any new foods since she was a baby. She only eats formula milk, yogurt, sliced apples, bananas, and rice cakes. Of course, she does eat candy and sweet cakes of any texture, taste and temperature, but we never give her candy as an alternative for real food.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She never ate anything like breat or meat. She did eat pureed vegetable soup before, but a food advisor told us to stop all non-solid meals as part of a failed program and since then she never picked it up again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She seems afraid of new foods, even when she's hungry and others eat. We usually sit her at meals with us and offer her what we are all eating, the same thing is done at her kindergarten. She often plays with her food with a fork and even makes a mess with it, she peels hard-boiled eggs, puts salt on it, but she would never put it in her mouth. After she rejects everything and is very hungry we give her a side dish of white cheese with something she does eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We went twice for professional advice, once in a known clinic. They told us not to worry and be consistent with meal plans and family dinners. Her two younger sisters eat very well, as do all her peers and friends at her kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Psychologically her life is good and stable, she has a clear daily schedulle and is cheerful and jolly at everything. We moved house once but stayed in the same neighbourhood. She looks healthy and well. We never fought with her on the issue. I once tried to put food in her mouth by force, she cried but suprisingly she felt proud of haven eaten a meatball and talked about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, I'll follow up any advice with professional counceling and a steady program. Thank you for your concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14335" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T20:26:22.943" Title="Toddler never picked up new foods since she was a baby. Does eat sweets of all kind" Tags="|toddler|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25067" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25081" CreationDate="2016-05-24T10:35:55.767" Score="1" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 year old child loves reciting the alphabet on her own. Her mother and I take turns to recite the alphabet one by one with her. However, we noticed that when she reaches I she says Y and then Z. And also the other way round! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes she has also got confused between H and A. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We thought she'd learn the correct ones with time, but it has been over 3 months now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for improvement?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22279" LastActivityDate="2016-05-25T22:05:19.863" Title="My 2 year old baby gets confused with &quot;I&quot; and &quot;Y&quot; while saying the alphabet, how can I help her?" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25067" CreationDate="2016-05-24T11:15:59.130" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What about displaying all the letters at once (teachers stereotypical have the banner of the ABC's across the top of their chalk board) and pointing at them as you sing them slowly? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EX: &quot;G...point...H....point... I...point&quot; so that she gets a sense for how long the alphabet is and that each part of the song is its own individual letter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember when I was a child singing the ABC's taught me that LMNO was actually one word &quot;I..J..K...ellemno...P&quot; It took me beginning to associate the song with the individual letters to cure it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T11:15:59.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25066" CreationDate="2016-05-24T11:25:48.947" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course she doesn't eat. First she gets to make a mess (what fun) and play with putting things on food like salt (something a 2 year old doesn't need extra of). And when shes done she gets her very own special dish of cheese (something that's not particularly good for her). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is zero incentive to eat real food here. What about only offering her a couple of healthy options? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pick things she did eat before and refuse to give her anything else. Tell her tonight's choices are potato, carrot and peas and that is all there is in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You don't have to force feed her, that backfires later in life because they tend to never enjoy the food they were force fed (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2012/07/what-forcing-kids-to-eat-looks-like-20-years-later/&quot;&gt;http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2012/07/what-forcing-kids-to-eat-looks-like-20-years-later/&lt;/a&gt;). And you don't have to send her to bed hungry, just keep offering those same choices. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T11:25:48.947" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25070" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2016-05-24T11:50:51.373" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a first world problem. You don't hear that children starve to death because they are picky eaters.&#xA;Children want to eat what they like the most. If you give them the choice they would only eat junk. &#xA;They don't appreciate and understand the nutrition value of a food only its taste and of course its look. In fact majority of adults are the same, no wonder we have an obesity epidemic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course everyone has favorite and less favorite foods. But at the end it all comes down to how hungriness and food availability.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some useful techniques:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't give them junk before proper meal time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't try to feed them when they are not hungry. They are more likely to be more experimental if they are hungry&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they don't want to eat something which should be fine (they ate it before or they just want something else), don't give in. If they are hungry they eat almost anything.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be prepared to skip meals. Nothing happens if they skip a meal every now and then.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do not try to introduce new foods when they are tired and before bed time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Smash or blend vegetables so they more look like creams and soups to make it less obvious&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Continuously try to introduce new (healty and fresh) food to them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't keep any junk at home. Especially ice-cream, chocolate, fruit juice, health bars, fruit bars, etc. Give them treats when you go out with them or visit someone. They have plenty of opportunities to eat junk, often it's just unavoidable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to avoid giving them anything which is not fresh or freshly made. Most things from any packaging are most likely processed food where lack of fresh ingredients is substituted for excess sugar, salt and fat. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't be fooled by advertisements, if something is heavily advertised it is most likely junk, heavily process food.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are consistent they will it almost anything&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22205" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T11:50:51.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25072" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18636" CreationDate="2016-05-24T20:09:01.940" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 year old has been doing this since about the same age and it's now to the point that I'm asking him to try to be conscious about it and break the habit.  His feet look very odd and even the doctor noticed it at his last checkup and said that while it's not harming anything now, over a long period of time it could cause problems that may even result in him having to have his feet broken and then aligned correctly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought this was something that he would outgrow, but years later now it's something I wish I had addressed with my kiddo sooner.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22284" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T20:09:01.940" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25066" CreationDate="2016-05-24T20:26:22.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't seem something to lose your sleep over, however:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A) Psychologists make a big deal about how people's ability to 'try new stuff', be open to change, etc, is useful in life. Your degree of openness to change is one of the &quot;big 5&quot; personality traits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;B) If you want her to eat something else, you have to stop feeding her what you don't want her to eat. We typically say &quot;this is the food that's available for dinner today, you can eat it or not, but there's no other food available&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;C) There's fun book called something like &quot;new cheese&quot; about a group of mice, some of which don't want t try new cheese and so suffer when the old one runs out, while the others go on finding new cheese of different kinds. You can read her the story and then explain how n'new food' is like 'new cheese'...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;D) We've 'explained' to our kids that you only like food after trying it seven times! Seven! So when they say they don;t like something we just counter that its because they have not tried it seven times yet! You can also point out to the fact that they did not originally like the food that they do like now...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T20:26:22.943" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25074" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1739" CreationDate="2016-05-24T23:12:34.993" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a fourth grade teacher let me hopefully shed some light on what seems to be two different issues here:&#xA;How the teacher of your child advised you, and&#xA;Whether or not advancing your child's fraction knowledge is relevant or necessary. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addressing the first question, if this teacher did, in fact, say &quot;don't get involved&quot; without further explanation, then this teacher needs to learn a bit of tack. Let me try and rephrase what may have been meant; often times I suggest parents take a back seat to homework because of two things: if the assignment comes back complete and correct, but the parent had to walk their child through the entire process, then I don't get an accurate reading of the child's understanding of the topic. If I don't have an accurate reading then I can't know to give them extra attention, because I assume they understand it. Assistance on homework is always great, but I prefer parents to ask their child questions about how they learned it in school and to try and explain the process as much as possible before the parent jumps in. If the child explains something incorrectly you know exactly where you can straighten them out without having to entirely reteach the method.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second reason we say, &quot;don't worry about the homework&quot; is because we respect your home life and don't want you to have the added stress of battling over a dumb work sheet at night, when everyone is tired. We are trying to be on your side. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second issue is simple: If your child wants to learn the subject, they will. If they have the desire they can ask you questions and initiate their own inquiries without being prompted. This is how leadership is built. If you think they need a push, perhaps talk to the teacher and get his/her advice before raising your expectations. Failure is part of learning, but pushing them too much and setting them up to fail can be just as damaging as not pushing them enough. Multiplying fractions with different denominators isn't taught in our school until 5th grade, unless the child is clearly an accelerated math thinker. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22285" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T23:12:34.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25067" CreationDate="2016-05-24T23:28:48.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its one of those things that fixes itself, plus 2 year old seems very precocious in this respect!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, what I think works to get rid of any imprecision in speech or writing is to show that you don't understand. If they are trying to communicate something and you don't understand it, they will get, at the deepest possible level, that they are doing it wrong and not producing the result they expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-05-24T23:28:48.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7965" CreationDate="2016-05-25T12:05:35.253" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Crib time is just as important as socialization. Isolated playtime allows 5 month to 16 month old children time for their own thoughts.  Learning to entertain themselves is necessary for learning how to play.  Private playtime teaches them independence.  Babies need to know that they are separate individuals from others.  Make sure the toys are age appropriate and interesting to the child.  Fun children's music played in a CD player is better than TV for children.   Socialization should include direct eye contact, hugging, speaking directly to the child and caring for their many needs.  Reading to them encourages language development.  Alternate crib playtime (twenty minutes to a half hour)with family socialization (most of the day time) to prevent loneliness.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22292" LastActivityDate="2016-05-25T12:05:35.253" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2016-05-25T14:16:58.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I shall take you through what I do, this is a reasonably time consuming approach but i also have two ASD children (for a total of 7) so there are nine of us to feed each day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plan a week's menu out ahead of time.  Each day have two options; let the child pick from the two options before you go shopping, so you are buying the one they have decided on.  If you take them with you all the better as they will SEE you pick the item they have requested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The two options need to have very similar tones, for example where they might like chicken nuggets (but you want a healthy alternative) option one would be chicken nuggets, two would be fresh chicken (perhaps a stir fry etc), now the trick with this solution is to make the dessert options relative to the main course option, so chicken nuggets gets yogurt (something simple) but fresh chicken gets ice cream (something exciting).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found this has worked on 6 of my seven children, they will make the decision to have the healthier option to receive the more desired dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Further to this I cook both options some days as one or two will not take the bait, but the side dishes (chips, rice, veg etc) are identical, therefore they then see their plate look the same except for the important bit, and next week they choose the other option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, if your issue is related to the sides I'm sure you could devise a similar situation, where the choice you'd prefer gains them the more exciting dessert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22293" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-05-25T16:46:34.637" LastActivityDate="2016-05-25T16:46:34.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25080" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23168" CreationDate="2016-05-25T19:00:53.753" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you found who has the dominate personality in your sons.  Asking or telling a 23 month old boy is about as useful as telling a 23 year old boy not to do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to quickly address this situation by intervening, stating in a phrase which you say the same way every time what the unwanted behavior was, then immediately start a pre-planned consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Flow of events:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;C is Riding on D again!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mishari comes into the room and takes a firm but caring hold of C.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mishari states clearly:  &quot;You will not ride your brother.  You are on timeout now.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mishari puts C in a timeout spot and as long as it takes keeps putting C back in that spot until 2 minutes has passed (1 minute per year old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guarantee if you do this exact outline every time that C will get tired of it before you do and you've won the day and set yourself up for being a respected leader of your boys!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally don't know if apologizing does much good at this point.  In another post I referenced some research that stated kids this age just don't understand empathy at all and teaching them a 'apologizing routine' simply hurts them from truly understanding how to apologize correctly later in life (ages 5-10 depending on the individual).  I don't have that research available right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2016-05-25T19:00:53.753" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25067" CreationDate="2016-05-25T22:05:19.863" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;User1751825 gave what I think is the correct answer: Don't worry about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 2 years old, most children can &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-2yr.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;say sentences with 2 to 4 words&lt;/a&gt;, and may have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/children/tc/milestones-for-2-year-olds-topic-overview?page=2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;vocabulary of only 50 words&lt;/a&gt;. A long list of alphabet letters is still a very abstract concept, and it is totally okay if they aren't getting all the letters, or aren't saying them in the right order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Relax and enjoy this time. Don't spend it worrying what this might mean for their future development. It's adorable. Make sure you get a video of it so you can watch back on it someday and laugh. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I think user1751825 also hit the nail on the head with the advice: just model correct behavior. Don't correct the language at this point. A dear friend of mine grew up always being corrected, and it made her shy and not want to say anything until she was sure she was right, and wasn't going to get corrected. That's no way to raise a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Man I wish I had more videos of my kids at that age making those adorable language &quot;mistakes.&quot; :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-05-25T22:05:19.863" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25083" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-25T23:12:08.023" Score="2" ViewCount="189" Body="&lt;p&gt;he comes home from school soiled on his underwear and rashed really  bad. He doesnt care that kids make fun of him. I need help. Its happening every day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22299" LastActivityDate="2016-05-27T15:08:53.100" Title="My son is 6 and goes to the bath room but doesnt like to wipe" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2738" CreationDate="2016-05-26T01:25:59.783" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it depends on the baby. Mine has always preferred to stand and has been trying to step and walk since he was four months old. It seemed like a no Brainer to get aback excersaucer and a walker. At 7 months he can take steps while having his hands held. He walks with his whole foot not just the toes. Even out of the contraptions he works on walking and balance. And even in them he wants to stand and move so he only uses the chair hammock when he needs a break. I like it and to be honest, he's obviously going to walk at some pointime and some kids are delayed even without the walker.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22300" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T01:25:59.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25086" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25094" CreationDate="2016-05-26T07:09:47.370" Score="1" ViewCount="279" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is 3 years old. I noticed that kids feel happier if you do something (play, help, talk, feed etc) when they need you and not when you want them. However, while great for the kid, that being-there is exhausting on the parent and ultimately can lead to depression, which reflects back on the kid. So constantly being there is ultimately harmful for the little guy. Also, a kid might get good education from seeing you doing something meaningful to you, other than being his ragdoll.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was trying to have everyday both unorganized activities and organized ones, of all kinds. However nothing that is organized really works and the exhaustion is even greater. Of course some activities such as eating and sleeping have more organized behavior patterns, which my son grumpily accepts. I share this with my wife, I cannot ask anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you think there is a better strategy? Maybe on the lines of one day of organized activities (including strict time away for daddy to play/craft/read/stareatmoon) and two days of unorganized stuff. I am concerned this would just be even more confusing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit:&#xA;My son goes to kindergarden but it does not count as relaxing time for me or my wife since we are working. It is only me and my wife, &quot;others&quot; are unavailable, although at some point we may consider a payed nanny once in a while (but not now).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we do unorganized play/eat/sleep/etc it is really funny and very educational, everything about that rocks so no advises are needed. However   everything that has a trace of organization in it means screaming, crying , refusal, anger tantrums etc. Both organized and unorganized activities are dragging us down, but organized activities are more tiring because they are perceived like torture by the little guy, even when he obeys it is still hard for us so see him so oppressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7457" LastEditorUserId="7457" LastEditDate="2016-05-26T10:07:30.823" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T18:17:30.563" Title="toddler - organized vs unorganized activity strategies" Tags="|education|play-time|coping|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25086" CreationDate="2016-05-26T08:44:35.440" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is actually an area where kndergartens/nurseries come into their own - they tend to be very experienced at organising structured and unstructured time, including play and learning together, and this really gives you as parents some time to be by yourselves, whether that is for working, chores, or just to relax.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't use that sort of facility, or have friends/relatives to help out, you pretty much are committed to being there for them. This is part of the deal when you make a child. Yes, it is tiring, but incredibly rewarding seeing them develop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For planning play time with them, you really don't need to do it by day - a 3 year old won't need to know that &quot;on Wednesdays we do x&quot; - you can just choose things to do based on weather, toys at hand, learning ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say that &quot;nothing organised really works&quot; - well, this is not a useful approach to take, in fact organising everything a wee bit actually makes everything easier. For example, if you are going to go to the park and play, I'm sure you already organise food, drink, changes of clothing, nappies etc., so why not also plan some games - take a ball, some markers, a skipping rope, a kite etc. And if you are halfway there and it rains - go and do something indoors. Visit a museum, or a zoo, or a swimming pool, or anything&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And some days, you'll just be tired out and not able to do much - so have playtime in the middle of the living room floor with  your child. Grab a bunch of toys and talk about them with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;tl;dr&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have basic plans for activities, so you can decide in the morning &quot;we'll do activity y&quot; and be ready to go&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't bother with writing a full weekly schedule, as it will only break&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;remember simple things can be fun for a child too - you don't always need to do something requiring major logistics&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't just rely on you and your wife - friends, relatives, and nurseries all help with the load&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;raising children is very tiring - don't let that depress you, it's just a fact of life&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T08:44:35.440" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25088" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-26T10:01:19.727" Score="2" ViewCount="484" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 18-month-old and a 3-year-old son. It seems that the younger is growing up more slowly than the older one did. For instance, he doesn't speak yet, he walked late in comparison with his brother, same for his teeth growth. They always say that it is natural, each child and his growing rhythm. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is about his strange behavior. We know very well that he knows a lot of things and that he understands well when we speak to him, but he pretends he does not understand what we say. As a consequence, he ignores us when we speak to him, mainly his mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why is he behaving this way and what should we do with him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22111" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-18T14:30:41.250" LastActivityDate="2018-05-18T17:07:17.107" Title="How to deal with an 18-month-old toddler pretending to not understand what we say to him?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|communication|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25089" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25088" CreationDate="2016-05-26T13:39:30.053" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing that comes to mind is that your son learned he doesn't have to do unpleasant things if he pretends not to understand. So &quot;Do you want a cookie?&quot; gets a response, &quot;Don't touch the glass!&quot; doesn't. It might even be a certain tone of voice (for example, the one your wife uses when she wants him to do something) that's become a cue for him to ignore whatever is said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This should be fairly easy to check, since the pattern becomes obvious when you consider what he likes and doesn't like. You can also test it by presenting him with two options he likes and let him pick which one he wants. Start simple, for example hold up two plates so he can't see what's on them, tell him there are cookies on the one plate (demonstratively look at that plate) and icecream on the other plate (look at the other plate), then let him point at the one he wants. Substitute his favorites (can be toys too) for the cookies and icecream of course.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he responds clearly to this (when he's motivated), it's likely he doesn't see the need to listen or talk to get what he wants. So stop giving him what he wants until he &quot;speaks&quot; to you and listens to you. He will likely get angry and frustrated at this sudden change, but if you are consistent he will learn the new way to get what he wants before long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he doesn't respond, I would advise you to investigate further. Can he hear you well? Does he react to sounds behind him? Does he make eye contact when you promise him (cookies) and follow your gaze when you tell him where the (cookies) are? That kind of interaction should already be there, long before speaking. Also, how does he express his needs to you in general?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any doubts, ask a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T13:39:30.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25090" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-26T14:53:42.890" Score="5" ViewCount="642" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 year old daughter has an irrational fear of wetting her pants from laughing too hard.  It has apparently happened where this occurred in very small amounts, but now she has turned it into something that is holding her back from doing things.  She is so afraid that it will happen and people will notice.  she can't sleep from worrying about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22304" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T16:52:08.127" Title="11 year old fear of wetting pants" Tags="|fears|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25090" CreationDate="2016-05-26T16:52:08.127" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Irrational fears are hard to deal with. However, this sounds more like she has already experienced this embarrassing event, and now this fear of a recurrance has become overblown in her mind. This is a bit easier to deal with than an irrational fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assure her that this kind of accident happens to &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; female at some time or other. It is nothing to be ashamed of, although obviously avoiding it is preferable. In young women/girls, it usually only happens because they have a full bladder and have ignored emptying it (after all, there are more interesting things to do with one's time. :)) It might to help to explain (maybe with a diagram?) that if she has a very full bladder and something suddenly causes a sharp increase in intra-abdominal pressure, like hard laughter, the pressure can push a bit of urine out of her bladder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reinforce to her that if she goes to the bathroom as soon as convenient after first feeling the urge (or better yet - for now - at regular intervals, even before she feels the urge), it is likely not happen again for many decades.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might also help her confidence initially to wear an ultra-thin absorbancy pad &lt;em&gt;on certain occasions&lt;/em&gt; when she is out with others. Showing her that fluid will not pass through the plastic barrier (therefore will not show on her clothes) may help to reassure her &lt;em&gt;until she learns that frequent bladder emptying is sufficient to preclude this from happening&lt;/em&gt;, which should not take too long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all this fails, I would bring it up with her pediatrician. Sometimes a doctor visit, a physical exam, and a urinalysis might provide the reassurance she needs (and might also detect a problem if there really is one that needs to be addressed.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I would caution that the pad needs to be clean, and if she does happen to have an accident, must be removed within a certain amount of time to prevent a possible bladder infection.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T16:52:08.127" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25092" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24990" CreationDate="2016-05-26T16:53:49.493" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are on the path towards blissful sleep, don't worry it will come!&#xA;I agree with Fedorqui on trying one thing at a time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion which has worked for us (I have an 11th month old who is sleeping through the night 7:30- 6:00) is to increase your son's food consumption during the day. I am not sure where your son is with eating purees and/or solids, but what we did was increased the purees to two 4oz feedings during the day in addition to the milk he was consuming (this was at 9 months). Then he would have solids at home for dinner and I would nurse him before bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This routine really helped a lot. He did wake at night for a while and my husband would go in to hold him so he would get the comfort but not the milk. After a while he started sleeping through the night. I am starting to feel like a normal person again instead of the sleep deprived version of myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this works for you too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19507" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T16:53:49.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25088" CreationDate="2016-05-26T16:55:06.463" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's good to consider any challenges such as hearing or a neurological issue, but barring those I highly recommend you take a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.loveandlogic.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Love &amp;amp; Logic parenting class&lt;/a&gt; and use the power of empathetic consequences. Use its &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drh66-WUJCw&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&quot;uh oh&quot; song for toddlers&lt;/a&gt; as appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1132" LastEditorUserId="1132" LastEditDate="2018-05-18T17:07:17.107" LastActivityDate="2018-05-18T17:07:17.107" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25094" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25086" CreationDate="2016-05-26T18:01:22.330" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is exhausting when you first must get used to having a child around all the time.  For someone who is used to having a substantial amount of &quot;down-time&quot;, it can be devastating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some people who get uplifted from being with all children, and some who get uplifted from being only with their own children, and others for whom being with any children is an emotional drain.  This is due to a difference in personality.  Just as some people find being around others emotionally draining, and others require it for their emotional health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, it was an extremely difficult transition to make.  I was used to having several hours a day to unwind after work.  I would read, write or play computer games.  I do not go out and socialize; being around people is exhausting to me, even if they are people who I like very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After I became a mother that was no longer available to me.  At times I was so depressed I could barely get out of bed.  Here was this noisy, needy little person who &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; went away.  Even when she was sleeping there was always the knowledge that she could wake up at any time, so you could never relax.  All my needs for alone-time had to be put in a locked closet.  It was like going weeks without sleeping, only the exhaustion was emotional rather than physical.  And even though there were moments when I was not needed to attend to my child, it was like closing your eyes for only ten minutes at a time.  I could not simply relax, especially when I didn't know how long I had before my child needed me.  I was always &quot;on call&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way you and your wife will be able to have the downtime that you need is if you help each other.  Schedule a &quot;daddy day off&quot; or &quot;mommy day off&quot; (be sure it's a fair exchange) where the parent who does not have a day off agrees to take the child and &lt;em&gt;leave the house&lt;/em&gt; for a set schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason it is important to leave the house is that when your child is in the house you feel responsibility and guilt for not responding to their needs.  Removing their physical presence reduces that.  And the child will not feel that he is ignored if he is not with you.  The person who is having a &quot;day off&quot; could also leave, but for me it is more relaxing if I can be in my own home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once a year my husband takes the kids to visit his parents for a week in another state, leaving me with an entire week alone in the house.  It is very refreshing to my spirit.  We also occasionally would leave the kids at a daytime daycare place for a few hours on the weekends,  It was expensive but a good way to get things done, for things that are difficult to do with a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that what you are looking for is a reason why it is good for you to have some time to yourself.  Do not feel guilty about needing time alone.  Everyone is different.  Some people need more of that than others.  Just because you have become a parent does not mean that all of your needs must be sacrificed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To me, it is like when you are on an airplane and the flight attendant gives her or his speech.  At some point they tell you that in case of emergency, oxygen masks will drop.  You must first put the mask on your own face before assisting your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not selfishness.  It is practicality.  You cannot assist your child if you pass out for lack of oxygen.  For me, it is also the same with food.  When I get home in the evening the first thing I do is eat something, before I prepare the family meal.  I have hypoglycemia, and if I allow my blood sugar to get too low, I become incapable of caring for my family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are unable to have some time to yourself, you risk building up resentment toward being a father.  Even if you try hard not to, even if you know you should not, it is difficult to always make our emotions obey us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember to give your wife what you ask of her.  Even if she says she does not need it, it might be because she feels too guilty at leaving her child.  Tell her that you and your son are going to have daddy-son time, and are going to do something fun.  Enjoy yourself and have fun with your son, and she will be able to relax too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found two things are important for a good &quot;time out&quot;.  One is that exact times are kept.  If you say that you will be gone from 10 AM to 4 PM, don't come home early unless there is an emergency.  The second is that there be no requirements for the person taking time off, and no direct communication from the person on.  Texting is okay, calling is not, except for emergencies.  And do not ask &quot;while you are taking time off, can you --do some task--?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the nicest things about a time-out is at the end of it, when you have been away from him for many hours, you are maybe feeling like you have missed him and you can enjoy his company more, while your spouse relaxes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am sure that you will be able to work something out to fit your needs and your wife's.  You just need to talk about it, and be honest about what you need, and willing to give her what she needs as well.  It sounds like you are both so focused on giving your son all that he needs that you forget the needs of each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last comment.  It may be that your wife has needs other than time off that she wants.  Something she wants to buy, that you would be disapproving of.  Or maybe she wants a night out with you, where you go to a movie and restaurant and hire a babysitter for the night.  It is okay to have different needs, and it is okay to bargain for what you need.  Give each other that permission.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-05-26T18:17:30.563" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T18:17:30.563" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25088" CreationDate="2016-05-26T19:50:33.560" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consult with your pediatrician. You want to get his hearing tested, if his hearing is fine you may want to have him tested for developmental delays, which can signify Autism. I say this to you because we had the same experience with my son. If this is the case and I pray that your child is fine, it is better to identify such delays early. If your doctor is not in agreement and you still have concerns get a second opinion. All the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22306" LastActivityDate="2016-05-26T19:50:33.560" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="102" CreationDate="2016-05-27T13:47:51.240" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was a &lt;code&gt;picky&lt;/code&gt; eater as a child. This used to frustrate my mother enormously. She tried everything she could to get me to eat, it just didn't work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Worse, nowadays (50+ years later) I still feel sick/scared when someone brings me a plate of food I know I cannot finish just because of the stress my mother put me through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a few years ago I worked out why - I have some strange intolerance to dairy products which makes me feel nauseous about 5 minutes after eating some foods. At the time I had no idea this was not normal so I never noticed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did find if I ate very quickly I could get enough food in me before that feeling started but I would rarely finish the meal - which &lt;em&gt;disappointed&lt;/em&gt; my mother. This also meant that anything I needed to chew got in the way so I ended up not liking many nutritious foods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Moral&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Please&lt;/strong&gt; do not let your parental instincts push you into making mealtimes a stressful experience for your child, even if you are worried, do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; show it. You will only do harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3469" LastActivityDate="2016-05-27T13:47:51.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24882" CreationDate="2016-05-27T14:33:41.570" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have one question...who's supposed to be watching them when this happens?  This is not an accusatory question or in any way meant to point a finger, however, it is the standard question I have when ANY child of ANY age does something inappropriate.  The fact is, as a rule of thumb, it only takes anyone 2 minutes to get into trouble...even adults.  This leads me to a few other questions you might want to think about;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How is it being initiated? What is happening before &amp;amp; after the behavior? (notice I didn't say &quot;who&quot; is initiating it, laying blame will help no one)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why do they think this is okay?  This is actually a good question to ask them.  They seem to be looking for answers and if they don't feel they can ask, they're resorting to trial and error on their own. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Where have they seen this? &quot;Monkey see, Monkey do&quot; still applies at this age.  Take a minute to think on this one.  Here is something we as adults forget when we are watching television, visiting or inadvertently exposing our little people to things.  They process things on a whole different level than we do. What we see as harmless or funny, they have no filter for.  Everything to a child is literal, real, fact. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What reaction has/is the behavior getting from the adults in their lives? This is a big one.  Is there shock and upset or are they getting a calm, cool, collected reaction? This is important as well. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is natural for children, even this age, to be sexually curious. It is one of our most basic human functions, traits and needs.  However, there is a time, place and appropriateness. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recall working in a daycare center with children ages 6 to 12.  It was very interesting to see how sexually charged/aware some were compared to others. Here is what I noted; it has nothing to do with age.  I also noted that the children who were regularly exposed to uncensored television, people, places and things tended to be more sexually aware than those who had everything censored. However, there was also no one guiding these children as to appropriateness of the content they were seeing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's always interested me how we think that the littler they are, the less they understand, because that isn't the case.  You might think you're off watching a show while they're in a different room or activity, but trust me, they're paying attention.  You are their universe, their world, they are in tune to everything we do. They can't help it, it's how we learn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember being 5 and my cousin, who was 6, exposing himself to me and asking me to &quot;touch it&quot;.  My parents censored everything, I had no idea what was happening. This was not the case with my cousin, he seemed to know way more than I did. Fortunately, this was just childhood curiosity and nothing happened.  But I remember it clearly.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few things need to happen here;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Family Conversation&lt;/strong&gt;.  It concerns me that your partner would not have come directly to you and just assumed the child would tell you what happened, that in my mind is not a good sign.  It is not a child's job to inform.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Educate&lt;/strong&gt;: Each child needs to be educated on how we don't touch other without permission or adult supervision. It goes both ways. Be understanding. Be kind. Explain that you get they are curious, ask if they have any questions, answer the questions. BE HONEST, children can smell a lie a mile away. But make it very clear that it's not safe to allow this kind of touching or give this kind of touching to anyone. So many parents just ignore these key conversations like there is a special age they need to get to first. I started teaching my children about this as soon as I could, as soon as they could understand. Why? Because I was sexually abused and when it was happening I didn't know what to say or do. How did I do this? Doctors visits...ya, it's the perfect opening for these conversations.  I would talk to them about how we have places that no one should touch, not even our doctors.  These are personal places only for us to touch or see.  That if anyone ever does touch them there or ask to, the appropriate response is &quot;no&quot; unless mommy or daddy is there to make sure they are safe.  I also taught them that if someone ever tries to do this after they say no, to scream and run, no matter who it is.  I'm guessing that one of the children just doesn't know what to do. I've been there.  It's a feeling of knowing something feels wrong, but not knowing what to do.  It's our job as parents to teach them what to do. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stop&lt;/strong&gt; leaving them unsupervised...please.  I have yet to understand this.  Just because they're older doesn't mean they know better.  My teens still know that no matter what they're doing, mom could walk in at any minute.  Keep one or both of them within sight for a while.  Don't make a big deal out of it, just do it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Move forward&lt;/strong&gt; and don't place blame.  This is how feelings get hurt and walls are built.  Simply address the issue and move on.  Shaming and blaming will only cause fear and confusion.  Don't point fingers or judge parenting styles...just resolve the issue at hand.  Be present. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show your children how to handle this by handling it well yourselves.  If you must have an argument, don't do it in front of them.  I've also always found it helpful to talk with my partner before having a family conversation so that we have some control of what is going to happen and know what to expect from one another. Run some scenarios with one another. Let this parenting lesson bring you closer, not push you apart.  This is a great opportunity to open up lines of communication in your home and show your children that they can safely talk to you openly, anytime about any thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck, move forward with love and understanding and you can't go wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastEditorUserId="109" LastEditDate="2016-06-11T19:06:22.413" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T19:06:22.413" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25083" CreationDate="2016-05-27T15:08:53.100" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Interesting enough I've had this same issue w a few children.  I have a question, how much attention are you giving this?  I mean in regards to how upset you are getting or if it's turned into a daily stressor that your son can expect as soon as he gets home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children this age don't care about the concept of friends like adults might.  They have no concept of this yet.  The do what they do to see what reactions it gets. It's that simple in their world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I watched a little girl who was doing this.  What her parents and I started doing was reminding her each time she went to the bathroom to be sure to wipe well so she wouldn't get sore. We also went back to supervising her bathroom time.  Maybe see if his teacher will help with this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another suggestion, stop making a big deal out of it.  Honestly, if it's getting him this much attention, his plan is working lol.  So often when our children do something shocking or upsetting we get all wound up and make it into a big deal...which is usually what they're looking for.  Stop checking his underwear when he walks in the door, stop talking about it in front of him.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If necessary start treating it like beginner potty training. Without saying a word, go with him, help him wipe and clean up then move on.  Don't threaten him, bribe or harass him. Just start going with him and when he asks why, tell him. You want to make sure he's clean so you're helping.  Take away the focused attention of it.  He is only 6 and this isn't really unusual for his age. Be casual and calm about it like it's no big deal. From my experience very quickly they tend to get annoyed and will ask you to stop.  Then just casually ask if he's sure because you want to make sure he's clean and you just want to help.  Be clueless, like your talking about the weather or something simple. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind, wiping that back area can be an awkward reach for some kids.  He might be having issues with this or be in a rush.  I'm not big on suggesting bribes or rewards for things that should just be done.  Like wipe and I'll give you a sticker?  No, step in and just start helping him.  It's not going to hurt and you might find out the real reason for why he's not wanting to do it....like he can't reach or he's trying and not doing a good job.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Breathe, be patient, he's only 6...this is a little battle.  Best of luck!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20924" LastActivityDate="2016-05-27T15:08:53.100" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25101" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-27T19:17:07.673" Score="2" ViewCount="105" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2 1/2yr old son started to pee while sleeping when I started to work. At age 1 to 2 I have no problem with that because I trained him to pee before going to bed and he's now using pajama during bedtime but recently he always pees during mid morning. At first I thought that it's just because of the weather since it's rainy season but it happens again and again.&#xA;What else can I do to stop him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22311" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-27T15:31:03.803" LastActivityDate="2018-04-27T15:31:03.803" Title="my 2yr old son's night bedwetting" Tags="|toddler|bed-wetting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25101" CreationDate="2016-05-28T06:24:53.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At his age, it is totally normal even if he has been dry at night for a while. It isn't even a diagnosible medical condition until he is 6.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The technical term (if he were older) is &lt;em&gt;secondary eneuresis&lt;/em&gt;. This is often caused by stresses in the child's life, like a change in schedule, or a new member of the family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first rule is to not get upset at him. He can't control it, and it is likely as upsetting to him as it is to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At his age, there really isn't much you can do. If you are really worried about it, talk to his doctor,  but don't be surprised if the doctor doesn't seem too concerned. There is a possibility it is being caused by a urinary tract infection, and your doctor can rule that out,  but the vast majority of cases aren't physical issues,  and they do eventually resolve themselves.  Until then, use pull-ups and don't let it stress you. The more stress this causes you, the harder this will be on him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-05-28T06:24:53.033" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25034" CreationDate="2016-05-28T18:01:26.503" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The trick my mother used was to draw a cute bumble bee on the palm of my left hand.  Whenever I was confused, she would ask &quot;Where is the bumble bee? Give him a 'hand hug'.&quot;  A &quot;hand hug&quot; was closing my fingers over the bee and sticking my thumb up (makes a lower-case b shape).  She said &quot;if you can't hug a bee, then it must be a d (right hand)&quot;.  It only took a few days for this habit to click.  Eventually I didn't need the drawing of the bee, I just associated my left hand with the letter b (I still do to this day, in some weird indescribable way).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13482" LastActivityDate="2016-05-28T18:01:26.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25106" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-28T18:09:25.607" Score="11" ViewCount="8830" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 9-year-old son can really go ballistic upon losing at games — tears of rage, calling family members liars and/or cheats, etc. very intense. As far as we know, he doesn't really do this with his friends, just family (parents and 11-year-old sister), but we're afraid if he ever handles a loss even a fraction as badly with his friends as he does with us, he's not going to keep those friends for long. His reactions have turned a lot of fun family sessions into really horrible experiences for us all and we're becoming wary of participating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He seems to understand the concept of sportsmanship and is not really prone to being ungracious when he wins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there an age or developmental milestone that we can expect him to reach that will clear this up a lot, or are there things we should be trying? My wife and I both feel like we've modeled gracious losing plenty of times, and neither of us is competitive to the point of adding any pressure on the kids to family game times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21215" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-11T14:36:54.580" LastActivityDate="2018-08-11T14:36:54.580" Title="How to help a 9-year-old boy learn to handle losing at games/sports?" Tags="|middle-childhood|games|coping|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25108" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25109" CreationDate="2016-05-29T00:40:31.057" Score="7" ViewCount="751" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy is 16 months and I have noticed he is left-handed. He can scribble well using a pen and some crayon with his left hand. I also noticed whenever I gave him a spoon to feed himself he would move it to the left hand and eat well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Back in our place, due to misinformation, left-handed people would be forced to learn how to use the right hand and be beaten. I was wondering if this happens in the USA and will the situation be &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastEditorDisplayName="user22314" LastEditDate="2016-09-25T18:12:53.723" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T21:20:49.900" Title="Is being left-handed going to be more difficult for my son?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="13" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25109" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25108" CreationDate="2016-05-29T01:57:33.987" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nowadays in the US, it is extremely rare to encounter prejudice against left-handed students. It does happen (there was a preschooler in Oklahoma in 2015 whose teacher told him the left hand was evil), but is very rare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do recommend that you mention it to teachers -- often in preschool or kindergarten when beginning to teach writing, they default to putting a pencil in the right hand. Being alerted that he needs to be taught a little differently will help both the teachers and your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The biggest challenge your son is likely to face is that some things (e.g., scissors, can openers) are primarily designed with right-handed users in mind. There are alternative designs specifically for &quot;lefties&quot;, though, so keep an eye out for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastActivityDate="2016-05-29T01:57:33.987" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25110" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25106" CreationDate="2016-05-29T14:08:48.560" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Winner Cleans Up&quot; has been a surprisingly effective rule for us. Whoever wins needs to put away the cards/board/ball etc. That takes some of the sting out for the loser and really cuts down on gloating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The US has a bit of a cultural obsession with winning so creating a rule that actually creates a downside to winning can help creating a more balanced view. At that age kids should play games and sports primarily to have fun and to learn, not to win. There'll be more then enough of this later in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also games where there is no winner or where you play as a whole family against a non-person. We had a Lord of the Rings board game that worked pretty nicely this way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2016-05-29T14:08:48.560" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25111" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25106" CreationDate="2016-05-30T03:47:20.943" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try to find cooperative games (Red October, Forbidden Island for examples) or purely random games. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the first case, everyone lose or win together.&lt;br&gt; &#xA;In the second case, win or loss are purely random and it's easier to accept. You might have to explain the working of the game beforehand to defuse the anger targeted at the other players, and teach your kid that being angered at luck is quite pointless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you can try role playing games. A couple editors are writing games for your kid's age. I've read Monte Cook's &quot;No Thank You, Evil !&quot;, for 5+, it's great. There are also compromise between rpg and board games (paizo pathfinder card game, fantasy flight games' Descent) which can work well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I forgot another type of game. There is a game called Race for The Galaxy where player compete one against another but have very few interaction : they can't really do anything to &quot;attack&quot; the other players, everyone is building his own empire apart from the others. There is some strategy involved where you can benefit or slightly impede another player, but only if they are trying to benefit from your choices themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastEditorUserId="21004" LastEditDate="2016-09-14T08:48:29.553" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T08:48:29.553" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25112" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25115" CreationDate="2016-05-30T04:37:18.180" Score="0" ViewCount="472" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 2 kids. 3.5 yrs old girl and 10 month boy. We live in apartment. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daily my kids used to make mess in whole house. What I mean my &quot;mess&quot; is that they put their toys everywhere, drag their washed cloths here and there, take out kitchen items and play with those, never allow us to throw their nappy boxes and play with it. But not painting on the wall, pulling/tilting over furniture etc. They do have their room to play. But they never played there. My younger one just follows my daughter's toys. He haven't started his own messing yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it is up to a point where I have to watch my every step when I walk in to house. For me it's really hard to clean and vacuum after long day at work. Whenever friends and families come over, I don't have time to clean and house looks very messy. It's really embarrassing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is where me and wife used to argue. I prefer a reasonably clean house with a dedicated play area. And I argue with her saying,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;you haven't properly trained them to behave. You should teach them to play and pick-up the toys after that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But she tells &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;kids need to learn and I should let then play creatively anywhere. And we don't have back yard as well. So this is the only option to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am wondering am I reacting too much? or is it very common on every-houses with similar age kids/toddlers?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22318" LastEditorUserId="14522" LastEditDate="2018-04-08T15:22:33.400" LastActivityDate="2018-04-08T16:21:27.913" Title="The children are making home messy" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|toys|play-time|play|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25114" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="25124" CreationDate="2016-05-30T06:02:09.840" Score="15" ViewCount="5613" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 15 year old with differing religious views from my mother, who is Christian.  I don't hate religion like my mother has come to believe, I am just not personally religious myself and she has taken this a very wrong way...  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In detailing this question, I will try not to make too many assumptions about how my mother thinks, I try to keep it with in the realm of how she acts around this issue which leads me to more solid evidence in how she thinks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This problem has been ongoing for several years now (around 4 or 5), and hasn't gotten any better despite my attempts to try and improve it.  She just simply will not accept my beliefs no matter what.  My assumption is that in her eyes, &quot;improving&quot; this issue would be for my beliefs to change to her own, and from what I can see this is the only option for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might sound like a minor issue at first; a small religious difference between two people, but she cares heavily about what I believe and her in eyes I will not be successful in life unless I believe in and love God.  She has stated this multiple times directly to me over the years, and even to our counselor, and other non-religious people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has told me, she has never in her life doubted the existence of God, which I personally have no issue with.  The issue arises in her thinking that if you don't believe in God, you are evil and will not be successful in life, and since I am her son this scares her.  This, in combination with her communication-dominate tendencies, leads some some serious issues between not only her, but our whole family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &quot;fragmented communication&quot; is essentially just her yelling over me whenever I want to communicate my ideas on the issue.  She gets crazed, and yells over me when I try to speak my mind.  She isn't particularly a quieter person, unlike me being very quiet.  This repetitive yelling and put-downs (also with her husbands and boyfriends) and disapproval of my beliefs has lead me to depression, thoughts of suicide, self harm, drug use, etc.  When she starts, she does NOT stop either...  It will extend hours into the night, and sometimes she wont let me sleep either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make the matters even worse, she is almost always the one who starts these arguments.  She is very passionate about her religious ideas and often tries to force them down on me in any random conversation we are having. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has drove us very far apart, and I can hardly call us mother and son now, because it doesn't feel that way.  Not only does it hurt me, but it is hurting her too.  She has cried on several occasions, mentioned suicide a few times, and even prayed for me to believe countless times (as she has said this to me over and over).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Too me, this honestly feels psychopathic and like a form of manipulation, which I have finally come to realize over the years.  She mentions suicide, but the only option she gives me is to conform to her own beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really don't know what to do in this situation.  Sometimes, the only option feels like moving far away when I'm 18 (with a person I'm in a secret relationship with, otherwise my mother would flip), but I don't feel like I can make it another 3 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm unable to move to other family members' homes because pretty much my whole family is religious, so they agree with her because she is the one telling the story, but they don't see the gross underbelly of this manipulation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22320" LastEditorDisplayName="user22320" LastEditDate="2016-05-30T06:12:22.890" LastActivityDate="2021-02-12T15:06:04.840" Title="Opposing religious views causes serious problems with my mother" Tags="|parents|social-development|religion|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25112" CreationDate="2016-05-30T16:14:23.440" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is a very common problem. I've been to plenty of houses that looked like the way you described yours. But I think the problem has several causes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Too many accessible toys. The bulk of the toys needs to be in an area or closet where kids cannot get to. Kids love unpacking so they'd unpack whatever they can put their hands on. If the toys are out of reach, that doesn't happen. There should still be some toys they can reach, though. But those should preferably be the ones that are easiest to put way. Personally I like having less toys, but quality toys, around. I keep putting away bags of toys that aren't be played with anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Kids need to learn to clean up. This doesn't apply to very young kids who can't clean up (the 10 month old). Still, before the next toy is brought out, the previous toy should be packed up. Only one or two toys out at a time. Mom has to get down and clean up with the kids to show them how it's done (they don't learn magically on their own). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-05-30T16:14:23.440" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25116" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-30T16:22:49.087" Score="0" ViewCount="13081" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old son demonstrates really bad behaviour which is embarrassing and upsetting me. This has been on going for the last 4 months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, he is extremely naughty, and just doesn't listen to anyone (Mom, Dad and grandparents). He will neither take a telling nor do anything he is asked to do. When being told not to do or doesn't get what he wants he has a terrible temper tantrum, he will hit his grandparents, scream at the top of his voice, throw things that he gets in his hands, pull the hair. A very upsetting part is using bad words (I really have no clue where he has been learning them) and talking beyond his age (e. g. he says &quot;I will leave the house and go and will not come back&quot;). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His behavior is not consistent as he doesn't do this at school. He doesn't want to go to tuition or read or write (forced to put him in tuition because he just doesn't listen to us at home) and is extremely slow in reading and writing. He gets distracted very soon. He has a lot of interest in dancing, swimming, skating, and music classes. We have also enrolled him in all these classes except music. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is in a good mood to listen and when told in a polite way he listens to what I tell, but he listens to it hardly for 10 minutes and not beyond that. We have already tried not letting him do what he likes; We have tried confiscating toys, giving time out, making him stand out, talking to him, giving no reaction, just ignore, and really some times hit him badly, but just nothing works with him. We have also told him if he is not been listening to us he will be sent to hostel and he is not going to stay with us; he says he is ready to go to hostel. He is just not scared or worried about anything or anyone in the family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am extremely worried and scared thinking of him and his future because of his behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please advise me how to control him with all these tantrums/habits. We just want him to be a decent and obedient child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22325" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-15T13:54:46.517" LastActivityDate="2019-07-31T23:34:01.257" Title="How to control an angry and stubborn 5-year-old child?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5564" CreationDate="2016-05-31T04:25:37.787" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My Grandson got one at 2. &#xA;He was interested but only for a few minutes at a time. Then Gramma brought up her bike. took off the pedals and rode with him. He did exactly as I did, no coaching - he just got it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 2.5 years old now and we can go for hour long bike rides. he on his balance bike, me on pedal bike. (I kept the pedals off for 2 weeks and we rode daily).&#xA;A good model and the want to do same was key.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22329" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-05-31T08:42:46.957" LastActivityDate="2016-05-31T08:42:46.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25120" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-05-31T07:04:25.743" Score="2" ViewCount="41663" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7 month son - he has became super clingy to me but gets very fussy with others including his father. Every time I feed him(breastfeeding) he always wants to put his butt in the air and recently my nephew has wanted to sleep with me and also put his butt in the air. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time I go to the doctors they say I'm not pregnant, and every pregnancy test and blood test all say negative however I have started feeling movements in my stomach and my son blows on my stomach and yells at it when I start feeling nauseous and feeling any type of way. I have many symptoms of pregnancy but everything says negative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can my 7 month son feel/sense if I were pregnant?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22331" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-05-31T08:09:02.507" LastActivityDate="2020-03-26T17:36:21.773" Title="Can an infant sense if their mother is pregnant" Tags="|pregnancy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25120" CreationDate="2016-05-31T08:36:33.003" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;All evidence suggests that no, your infant can not sense your pregnancy. What they are very sensitive to, however, are your own moods and activities. Your behaviour (and the behaviour of those around you) is going to be one of the main reasons for behaviours you see from your child (in addition to the inherent nursing behaviours etc)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm having to disregard the implicit question in your 2nd paragraph - there is no way we on the Internet can give you a better diagnosis of pregnancy than your doctor and the pregnancy tests you have run (which should give you an almost 100% accuracy) - it is not uncommon to feel symptoms of pregnancy, and indeed various illnesses, as your body is going through many changes in hormones. For your reassurance, continuing to use pregnancy checks each month is an easy way to check with a very high degree of accuracy, or if you are really concerned, your doctor may be able to carry out an ultrasound.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-05-31T08:36:33.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25114" CreationDate="2016-05-31T15:10:30.717" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Too me, this honestly feels psychopathic and like a form of&#xA;  manipulation&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am afraid this is the heart of the matter. This is difficult to judge from the outside (or even from the inside), but from your description it looks like your mother is manipulating you to conform to her beliefs. This is abusive behavior that must stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coping with this type of behavior is very difficult, especially if it comes from someone you are close to, like in your case. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you cannot change your mother, you will probably have to learn to &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ipfw.edu/affiliates/assistance/selfhelp/relationship-settingboundaries.html&quot;&gt;set boundaries&lt;/a&gt;. How to do this exactly depends on many factors, but it is something you will have to learn. One relatively simple technique is to flat out &lt;strong&gt;refuse to discuss the issue&lt;/strong&gt;: Whenever she broaches the topic, say: &quot;I do not want to discuss this with you. Please respect that.&quot; If she persists, repeat that exact sentence, and if it starts to annoy you, leave (if you can).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;She mentions suicide, but the only option she gives me is to conform&#xA;  to her own beliefs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not let yourself be initimidated by these mentions/threats. Try to judge as best as you can whether it is really her intention or just an empty threat. If it is an empty threat, calmly tell her so. If you (even remotely) believe she is serious, then this is &lt;strong&gt;an emergency&lt;/strong&gt;, and you should seek emergency help. Where I live (Germany), when someone threatens suicide, you can and should call the authorities (''Gesundheitsamt''), or even an ambulance. They will come immediately, evaluate the person's state and, if needs be, take them to a mental institution (in extreme cases even against their will).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And most importantly: Do not trust random advice on the Internet (such as this one). Instead, &lt;strong&gt;find a qualified counselor&lt;/strong&gt; you can trust, and get support. Your mother most likely needs counseling too, but that is not your decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention that you &quot;had counseling session together, which made it more worse&quot;, so you should probably see the counselor alone at first, to get your situation and your needs sorted. Then you can invite your mother along, if you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-05-31T15:10:30.717" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25124" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25114" CreationDate="2016-05-31T16:39:40.093" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you mind if I try to talk this through from a parent's perspective for a minute? I &lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; do this to justify your mother in this situation, but to provide a different perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have five kids. They are all younger than you. I am a religious person, and am trying to raise children who are also religious, because I value my personal relationship with God, and I see many wonderful things in my life because of my faith. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see parents with children who &quot;struggle in the faith.&quot; As parents, their hearts are broken as they watch their children struggle with issues that the parents believe could be alleviated or resolved through belief in a specific related religious principle. These parents have had their own trials and struggles, and have felt what they believe to be the sustaining power of faith to help them through those trials. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me give you an example. I believe in life after death. When my father died, while it was traumatic (and now ten years later still makes me cry sometimes), I was sustained by the faith that I believe I will see him again. If my kids were hurting because somebody they loved had died, I would want that same faith to give them a measure of comfort and peace as they dealt with the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;[To other forum members, please note this is not me asking for others to critique my faith or beliefs, nor am I suggesting that all people should share my beliefs, nor am I even asserting that my beliefs are &lt;em&gt;factually correct&lt;/em&gt; in this case. I'm trying to draw parallels with the original poster, whose mother is a religious person.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, I can understand why a parent could suffer hurt or disappointment when a child does not share their faith. The parent has a genuine belief that life would be better for the child if they also followed the faith.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a sister who left our religious tradition, but did so after she had moved away from home. My parents were very sad. They felt hurt. They felt betrayed. They wanted her to partake in the blessings offered by the faith tradition. It took a long time, but my sister and mom (my dad, as I said earlier, passed away) are very good friends, today. My mom has finally been able to adjust her expectations, and my sister tried to maintain good ties through that whole time. It took a while, but they made it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, I guess I can understand why your mother would struggle with your beliefs, and your situation and your choices. This &lt;strong&gt;does not&lt;/strong&gt; give your mother the right to lash out and cause you any harm, but maybe understanding that she is hurting might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that your mother may be suffering grief because of the situation. Most people have to go through several stages of grief. During most of this cycle, she is going to continue wishing/hoping/praying that you will change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3DZRd.png&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/3DZRd.png&quot; alt=&quot;The Grieving Cycle, borrowed from blog.focus-mediation.co.uk&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.focus-mediation.co.uk/2013/12/10/the_grieving_cycle_and_relationship_break_down/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Image credit&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others have said in this conversation, if you feel like you are being verbally or emotionally abused, you need to seek help from somebody qualified to help you. Maybe you can talk to a counselor at school. Maybe you have an open-minded relative you can call. Maybe you can go to the religious leader and openly talk through your decision/belief/ect., and ask for his or her help in working with your mother. &lt;strong&gt;You do not need to stay in an abusive situation.&lt;/strong&gt; Also, &lt;em&gt;you are not responsible for your mother's happiness and emotional stability and well-being.&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From your post, it sounds like you need to get help from somebody who can provide real help in your situation. On the internet, we are not going to be able to understand the situation with enough clarity to give you definite advice on specific decisions you need to make. Find somebody who can help you through that. It sounds like your mother &lt;em&gt;also&lt;/em&gt; needs to get help. From your post, it seems your mother is threatening killing herself because of your life choices/decisions/beliefs/etc. If that is true, &lt;strong&gt;she needs medical treatment.&lt;/strong&gt; And remember, you are not responsible for her happiness. She is. She chooses how she reacts. Her choices are her responsibility.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are a good person, regardless of your religious belief or unbelief. You deserve to be respected and loved by everybody, especially your family, for being your genuine self. You have my best wishes as you try to get to that point with your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastEditorUserId="22164" LastEditDate="2016-05-31T16:44:44.200" LastActivityDate="2016-05-31T16:44:44.200" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25108" CreationDate="2016-05-31T17:04:40.267" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a daughter that is a &quot;southpaw.&quot; We stated it up front to her teachers in school, and she hasn't had any problem. In our kids classroom, the scissors are ambidextrous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The hardest part for her is using her right hand to use a computer mouse. I think this is an okay thing to make her use her right hand for, since all computers she encounters (that aren't her own) will automatically be set up for right-handed mouse usage, so she needs to get used to using a right-handed mouse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other than that, we haven't had any major issues with her being left-handed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-05-31T17:04:40.267" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25114" CreationDate="2016-05-31T20:46:54.480" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately the heart of this issue is religion, which is going to make this situation either really difficult, or (depending on her relationship with Christ) really easy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your Mom has a relationship with Christ, giving her examples of Christ's love and how Christ did act in certain situations throughout the four books of The Gospel, and then giving God some time to work in her, should do the trick. If she is simply religious without a relationship with Christ, this could stay messy =/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few things you may ask her to go over with you in The Bible:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Matthew 9:10 &lt;code&gt;And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” But when He heard it, He said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And John 8:7 &lt;code&gt;He who is without sin, cast the first stone&lt;/code&gt;. In context, a woman was caught in the act of adultery, but Jesus refused to condemn her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is showing that Jesus had love and compassion for those that did not believe in God/Christ or who were &quot;sinners&quot; in people's eyes. He would spend time with them. Eat with them. Show them kindness. Most importantly, he would not condemn them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She needs to be reminded that (1 John 4:19) we love Him because He first loved us. If she cannot show love to you, she cannot expect you to show love to her or God, seeing as she is supposed to be an example. The whole of 1 John 4 would be good for her to read/think about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-05-31T20:52:46.320" LastActivityDate="2016-05-31T20:52:46.320" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25116" CreationDate="2016-06-01T04:16:50.067" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you're beyond frustrated with your son. And for good reasons! Although they may seem out of the ordinary and even unruly behaviors, what you're describing are actually age appropriate behaviors for a 5-year-old. At 5 years old, your son is learning how to interact with the world and push his limits. It's your job as the parent to set and follow-through with the limits. One way of going about it is to take away what he likes. Unfortunately, punishment only lasts temporarily, or not at all like you're noticing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need structure and consistency. Yet, before any structure can happen, children need to feel heard. It might be worth trying to begin with empathy by letting him know you hear how he feels. It might look something like, &quot;I hear you're angry when using bad words&quot; or &quot;It sounds like you're upset when you're yelling.&quot; Once children feel they are being heard, they can then listen to the limit you're setting. This is where the magic &quot;and&quot; comes in. &quot;I hear you're angry when using bad words, AND, we use kind words with one another&quot; or &quot;I hear you're angry when using bad words, AND, please speak quieter so I can listen.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any limit you set won't mean much if it isn't consistent, though. Feel free to reach out if you have other questions - happy to help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21998" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-15T13:56:46.917" LastActivityDate="2018-07-15T13:56:46.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25130" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-01T13:32:15.533" Score="3" ViewCount="913" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on the discussion in the comments here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/25108/is-being-left-handed-going-to-be-more-difficult-for-my-son&quot;&gt;Is being left-handed going to be more difficult for my son?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of us are interested in knowing when hand dominance becomes firmly established. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for a general timeline of the related developmental milestones. I know that there's ambiguity and fluidity regarding handedness in young children, but I'm not positive on when the switching becomes less common, and when it zeroes in on one or the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some reports are that it happens quite early, but when 90% of the population ends up being right-handed, I think it's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3927078/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Some research&lt;/a&gt; suggests it actually happens quite late. I'm not sure if there's more to back up/refute the information found here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/3434/how-does-a-child-develop-handed-ness&quot;&gt;How does a child develop &amp;quot;handed-ness&amp;quot;?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/11610/is-handedness-predetermined-genetically/11612#11612&quot;&gt;Is handedness predetermined genetically?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;are related questions, but discuss the how/why, not the when.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-06-04T18:43:58.643" Title="At what age is handedness preference firmly established?" Tags="|development|motor-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2016-06-09T11:40:07.403" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25130" CreationDate="2016-06-01T13:59:57.810" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;See this article: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/handedness.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/handedness.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Infancy&#xA;  In his pioneering work on child behavior, the American developmental psychologist Arnold Gesell claimed that infants as young as four weeks display signs of handedness and that right-handedness is clearly established by age one. However, it was as of 2004 commonly believed that babies are born ambidextrous. Although a hand preference may seem apparent towards the end of the first year, this is not necessarily due to right- or left-handedness and may change several times over the subsequent few years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Toddlerhood&#xA;  Toddlers usually go through phases of using one hand for some activities and the other hand for other activities. Although many children exhibit clear left- or right-handedness from the age of two—and handedness usually is determined during the third year—it is not unusual for a child to repeatedly switch hand preferences well into their preschool years. Early hand preference may be due to a pathological problem (e.g. stroke ).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-06-01T13:59:57.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25134" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-01T18:11:24.993" Score="0" ViewCount="356" Body="&lt;p&gt;My teen daughter is cognitively impaired with type one diabetes. She is pretty low functioning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will steal food when we are stores, other people's homes, and from purses. I have seen her eating out of the garbage and off the floor; it doesn't matter to her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried counseling and she is completely lost there. She just says nothing or babbles about nothing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried locking the cupboards, put up motion detection up and alarms on doors; but she just shuts them off. She has outsmarted me on every attempt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be different if she would take just one or even two items but she takes everything and eats it all in one setting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should mention she is a adopted foster child and came to me at ten. The problem has gone on for a long time before me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't be the only one who has this problem. HELP oh she does not purge. Her weight is increasing and if I put her on a diet I am afraid it will make the problem worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22342" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2016-06-02T11:11:15.770" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T22:16:13.733" Title="Cognitively impaired teen with type one diabetes is stealing food and binge eating" Tags="|teen|food|diet|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25135" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="468" CreationDate="2016-06-01T18:20:28.417" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have to make bed time seem like fun time. By the time your child becomes a teen they only want to sleep, I know because I am a teen. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let your child run wild until they get to tired and just go to be on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Camamille tea, a nice tea will help with sleep. If they don't want it make them drink it anyway&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Hospital Bed straps, they won't get up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22343" LastEditorUserId="14546" LastEditDate="2016-06-02T11:26:38.733" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T11:26:38.733" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2016-06-01T18:20:28.417" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25114" CreationDate="2016-06-01T20:14:01.710" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Speaking as a Christian parent, whose deepest hope is that my children will gain their own relationship with God, here are some arguments I would personally respond to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Everyone needs to personally come to their own relationship with&#xA;God, &lt;em&gt;it can't be forced on someone.&lt;/em&gt;   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's poisoning your&#xA;relationship with the church, and driving you &lt;em&gt;further&lt;/em&gt; from Christ.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's already done everything she can, she needs to pray and&#xA;leave it in God's hands.  To do otherwise at this point doesn't show&#xA;much faith.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've know many people who grew up in religious homes and ended up atheist, and just as many who grew up atheist and ended up in the church.  If she really dreams of you one day having a strong relationship with God through Christ, she needs to give you some time and space to come to that place for yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's one more argument, which, for obvious reasons you can't probably make yourself, but which a trusted family friend might be able to make on your behalf.  She's made herself into someone you don't trust with your secrets, so it actually places you in more danger, because you'll be making decisions without the benefit of her advice and guidance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-06-01T20:14:01.710" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18990" CreationDate="2016-06-01T20:22:12.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes increasing tensions between parent and child are nature's way of pushing us out of the nest.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are already paying rent at home, and have enough money to plan a trip, maybe you'd be better off cancelling the trip and using the money to find another place to live immediately, rather than in the future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-06-01T20:22:12.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24771" CreationDate="2016-06-01T23:29:05.483" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is Liz willing to take advice, read, and learn? If not, there is literally nothing you can do. My wife, myself, and some of our friends have all had our children (each couple having 2+ kiddos) sleeping through the night between 6 and 9 weeks old because we read and applied concepts from &quot;Secrets of the Baby Whisperer&quot; from Tracy Hogg. However, we are friends with one couple who refuse to take any advice from any book or anyone else, despite our success. They are in the same situation as Liz. Liz &lt;strong&gt;first&lt;/strong&gt; has to be in a place where she will listen and is willing to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have the time and are devoted enough, you can read the book and write down the main points. It could be that reading is too daunting for Liz right now. Our bodies/brains get realllllly weird when we are that sleep deprived, so she may be emotionally off base at the moment. I would really encourage one or more of you to read that book. It is quite incredible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also mention that un-learnning the habits the child now has will be quite difficult, but sticking with it will have rewards. Children can be really stubborn, but the parents can win if they are consistent and firm. For example, with our first child my wife had &lt;strong&gt;extreme&lt;/strong&gt; trouble breastfeeding. After trying many different things, we settled on a &quot;breast shield&quot; which our kiddo would actually accept. After about 4-5 months, we decided that it was long enough, and our kiddo should be able to feed without it. Our kiddo did not like that at all. he would freak out and scream etc... until my wife would use the shield again. After a couple days of trying and failing, my wife decided enough was enough, and if he wouldn't feed without the shield, he wouldn't eat. After about 7 hours of rejecting feeding without the shield, he finally gave in and ate without the shield. Perfectly. Like a pro. No problems what-so-ever. He knew what to do, he was just being stubborn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastActivityDate="2016-06-01T23:29:05.483" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25130" CreationDate="2016-06-02T03:19:45.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our pediatrician told us that you can often tell which hand a baby will prefer by watching which hand it brings to its mouth most often, especially for a self-soothing effect. She even claims that if you watch a baby in utero long enough, you can observe the same phenomenon before some babies are born.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have any scientific proof, but it has held true for all five of my kids (only one of which is left handed). So my answer is anecdotal, but I thought you might find it interesting to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T03:19:45.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25120" CreationDate="2016-06-02T03:38:40.840" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're far enough along to feel movement, it will clearly--100% chance-- show on ultrasound. So--to address a key part of your question--it's not possible that you're pregnant. To address the rest of your question: no, the child can't sense embryonic fetuses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to read up on the stages of development in the first year. A lot is happening &lt;em&gt;every week&lt;/em&gt;, and your seven-month-old is in a key transitional phase. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastEditorUserId="7182" LastEditDate="2016-06-02T18:36:30.337" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T18:36:30.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25114" CreationDate="2016-06-02T05:06:46.643" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have my deep sympathy. As a desperate measure, perhaps you could set up a counseling meeting with a priest / other religious leader your mother trusts and whose views she appreciates more than some anonymous counselors. Fighting fire with fire, so to speak. That's obviously not necessarily someone you trust, but chances are that he/she is not as ill as your mother, and could make her realize that, on an emotional level, she is actually actively pushing you away from her religion with that behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I do suggest that you talk to that person alone first, to verify that he/she has more sane views about trying to push someone aggressively into their religion (which is not always the case, you know), and this isn't going to make things even worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, your mother suffers obviously from some deep emotional troubles, which she has been passing onto you. These things take a long time to cure, even when a person finds good help. So probably the best you and your mother can do now is to find an arrangement where both of you don't suffer so much, and seek psychological help as soon as you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13675" LastEditorUserId="13675" LastEditDate="2016-06-02T06:38:27.200" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T06:38:27.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25146" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-02T19:49:17.603" Score="3" ViewCount="731" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since about 3 month, our little one can walk and stand, when both her hands are being held or she can hold onto something. As soon as we retract our hands and she realizes it, she will sit down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since about 1.5 months now, she decided that she can nicely hop on her knees. So when she needs to use her hands, she does not crawl but &quot;walk&quot; or hop on her knees. She also does that if she is in an especially good mood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No &quot;accidents&quot; happened to her while walking with help and also learning to stand by herself went without anything more than the usual(?) minor drops. In general shes a brave one and likes to explore new things and areas - in those cases even crawling/rushing away from the parents. But shes very clingy in areas she already knows (e.g. she plays by herself on the floor sitting next to me, if i get up and sit onto the couch she will shortly after stand next to me). She still sleeps with us in the room and usually after waking up after 8h sleep around 4 o'clock in the morning is allowed to sleep another 2-3h with us in the big bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did we -somehow- fail in giving her enough self-confidence? Failed to give her the proper incentive? Maybe shes just lazy and we skip her and try our luck with a new one (&lt;em&gt;joking&lt;/em&gt;)? What might be our mistake?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any advises for us how we can get her to walk all by herself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22357" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T23:14:58.680" Title="How to encourage our 11 month old to walk alone?" Tags="|infant|walking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25148" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18990" CreationDate="2016-06-02T20:55:49.313" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say &quot;I no longer feel secure and safe in my own bed&quot;,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;but then say &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I am financially independent&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you have lots of choices. All of them are called &quot;LEAVE&quot;. All other options are just you making excuses to stay. Leave, then decide how you want to continue a relationship with your father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are no magic answers awaiting you. You need to take action.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7182" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T20:55:49.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25146" CreationDate="2016-06-02T21:41:09.360" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Walking is not something that needs you to 'push', unless your child is substantially behind (and 11 months is ahead, not behind).  Looking at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.umsl.edu/~garziar/Media%20folder/denverform_front.jpeg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Denver Developmental Screening chart&lt;/a&gt;, the 50th percentile is around 12 months, and many children take until 13 to 15 months to walk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, you're better off continuing as you have: give your child the opportunity to walk when she wants to, and she will learn how in her own time.  Learning how to learn things is an important skill as well as the skill she's learning itself, after all - so the more you can let her figure things out for herself at her own pace, the better off she will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T21:41:09.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25150" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25134" CreationDate="2016-06-02T22:16:13.733" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not a doctor, and this forum is not a substitute for getting medical advice. If you think your daughter has a medical problem, you should seek care from a competent medical provider. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, has anybody mentioned Prader-Willi syndrome to you? It is a genetic disorder that results in a person always being hungry. Characteristic of PWS is &quot;low muscle tone, short stature, incomplete sexual development, cognitive disabilities, behavior problems, and a chronic feeling of hunger that can lead to excessive eating and life-threatening obesity&quot; (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pwsausa.org/faqs/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source: PWS website&lt;/a&gt;). It has an estimated prevalence of 1:18,000 in the United States (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pwsausa.org/about-pws/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source: PWS website&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some other resources on PWS that might be helpful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prader%E2%80%93Willi_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wikipedia article&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pwsausa.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Prader-Willi Syndrome Association home page (USA)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/prader-willi-syndrome/basics/symptoms/con-20028982&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mayoclinic.org article&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, let me be really clear: &lt;em&gt;only a qualified medical practitioner can properly diagnose your daughter.&lt;/em&gt; This answer is meant to give you a potential avenue to explore, if you haven't already explored it with your child's doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is only one of potentially many medical underlying reasons for your daughter's behavior. I hope it helps you get on the right track to find the correct diagnosis (whatever that is) for your daughter.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-06-02T22:16:13.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25034" CreationDate="2016-06-02T23:31:15.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, my own son (at 5.5 years old) has the same issue. So do quite a few kids in his class (though to a lesser extent I guess). He mirrors 'b', 'd', 'p', 'q', '3', '5' etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Guess what? He's a natural lefty. He used to dominantly use his left hand, still kicks with his left foot, leads with his left foot as long as he wasn't admitted to school.  My suspicion is that he's been quietly forced to use his right hand at school, despite our repeated communications to the school that he shouldn't be forced to use his right hand to do everything. Even today, he leads with his left foot ( I guess they didn't bother about his left-footedness!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few ways to help your kid recognize the difference between 'b' and 'd' and to help make it funnily memorable! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One is to do as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you do a thumbs up with your left hand, it looks like 'b'. When you do it with the right hand, it looks like a 'd'&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The letter 'b' looks like a stick man with a &quot;b for belly&quot; hanging in the front. The letter 'd' doesn't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Another quirky way, but memorable! First you fill your 'b'elly, only then you go and sit on the toilet (d looks like a stick man with a big butt!).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can also say the letter 'p' is a prince sticking out his tongue at the queen standing next to him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this is useful to you, and others out there!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22358" LastEditorUserId="22358" LastEditDate="2019-11-23T07:57:49.317" LastActivityDate="2019-11-23T07:57:49.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25152" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25116" CreationDate="2016-06-03T01:11:19.463" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hmmm... As Stephanie above has mentioned, this is pretty much what a kid of this age will do (give or take a few behaviours!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm providing a perspective from my own experience. Hope it helps you out! Being from India, I get your angle probably a bit better than most here. However, please forgive me if I've read your situation in the wrong manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One question: Is your kid very active? Does he have boundless energy through the day? Are there periods where he just seems to crash (sleep?) and then rebound after a recharge? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, he might be just a high-energy kid, who isn't getting enough ways to expend that energy in a positive manner. Typically, a high-energy kid ends up exhausting his parents by constant demands for some form of recreation. They soon learn to ignore this incessant demand. Since they ignore him, he learns to use negative behaviour as a method for getting the attention that he wants. Any attention (even negative) is better than no attention. This can get perceived as &quot;naughtiness&quot; by parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I say this, I don't mean that you aren't paying attention, just maybe not enough according to &lt;strong&gt;him&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try enrolling him in activities that involve him. Drawing classes, swimming, running, high-energy demanding activities are good, as long as they don't overtax him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as I can see, it is very important to be consistent with the way you treat him. Tantrums should be allowed to happen, just don't react (negatively/positively as well) TILL it is complete. Don't suppress, Don't encourage either! Though it is difficult for a mother to see their child crying, you must remind yourself that this type of crying is not due to physical hurt, or some pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best way is to take him into a quiet room, and &lt;strong&gt;sit with him&lt;/strong&gt; while he goes through his negative feelings. No negative reactions from you, just let him know that even if it takes two hours of crying/tantrum throwing, he will not get what he's clamouring for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he calms down (which might happen only after say 30-45 minutes of tantrum, even upto 2 hours). The problem that most parents face is that they try allowing the tantrum to fizzle out on it's own, but a determined kid will rage on for so long, that they give up, and either end up shouting or beating the child for being so obstinate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's a great book &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0961307374&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Aware Baby&lt;/a&gt;&quot; which talks about how negative emotions are a part of our psyche, and how suppressing them doesn't do any good. Though this book primarily talks about small children, it definitely applies even to kids of your child's age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22358" LastEditorUserId="22358" LastEditDate="2016-06-03T01:24:55.180" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T01:24:55.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25153" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25116" CreationDate="2016-06-03T05:49:35.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Raising up kids in today's time is a challenging task for parents and it can make things worse even more if you are handling a stubborn or angry child. In order to control them, parents need patience while dealing with them. I suggest you when your child is angry or behaving badly you should not argue during that time. If you argue the situation becomes even worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing is to communicate with your child when they are calm and ready to listen. You need to find out the reason why the child is behaving badly and removing the child from the situation will help them calming down. You have to be more patient during that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents have to create a peaceful environment at home. The place has to be filled with happiness and peace for kids. Parents have to give more attention and priority to the children when deciding anything related to home. Hope this can helps the kids.     &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-15T13:59:53.133" LastActivityDate="2018-07-15T13:59:53.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5564" CreationDate="2016-06-03T06:48:39.360" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even the same thing was with my nephew as he was not much interested to ride the bike. One of our neighbor bought bike to ride for his son. Once my LO saw him riding a bike he was ready to ride along with the other kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children want to participate, especially when they see other children have so much fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T06:48:39.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25156" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-03T08:50:41.133" Score="0" ViewCount="218" Body="&lt;p&gt;From 1st month of my baby, we practised him to sleep using cradle - now he is 4 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if he is tired and sleepy, he refuses to sleep in bed (co-sleeping) and needs only cradle. We’re making him the comfort sleep in cradle, when we’re in our home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On last week, we went to see our Paediatrician; he was sleepy, but still refuses to sleep in our arms and screams loudly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Concerned how to make him to sleep; however, when we’re travelling back to home in car, he got sleep – not in car seater, but just in arms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can someone advice, how to help or practise infants to get sleep in arms and in bed as co-sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22152" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-03T15:00:51.437" LastActivityDate="2019-01-03T15:00:51.437" Title="How to train infants to sleep in bed and in parent’s arms" Tags="|infant|sleep-training|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22216" CreationDate="2016-06-03T16:34:18.060" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may not be comprehension at all, and it likely has nothing to do with your niece.  He might just have a different personality and/or learning style than your other children.  It sounds like he isn't interested in the questions you are asking him, and that he is thinking about other things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have only 2 children, but that has been enough to show me that even children with the same parents raised the same way in the same home can have completely opposite personalities and styles.  They can also have different educational outcomes, even if they have similar levels of intelligence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might consider having your son evaluated by a professional.  It's something I was resistant to for a long time, but that turned out to be very helpful in guiding both us and my son's teachers in helping him be more successful in school.  You can take it as just informational --it doesn't mean you have to accept any of the recommendations if they aren't good fits.  And it doesn't mean that you've done anything bad or neglectful in your parenting.  Some people are just wired differently from birth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T16:34:18.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25156" CreationDate="2016-06-03T16:38:04.187" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Usually parents have the opposite problem, but I understand your frustration and wanting to seek advice.  All 6 of my kids would sleep peacefully in someones arms, but wake up the instant you laid them down!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that when he is in your arms, constant movement as in swaying your body back and forth would help along with &quot;shushing&quot; sounds that emulate being back in the womb are the usual suggestions in getting a baby to find comfort.  In addition if you are nursing, that will usually help a baby calm down and fall asleep in your lap and then once they are asleep, they generally sleep well.  You could also try to carry him in a sling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as co-sleeping goes, co-sleeping is usually accompanied by nursing on demand and this usually keeps baby quite content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1431" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T16:38:04.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25159" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-03T18:20:38.467" Score="2" ViewCount="274" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question is based on English, but many other languages might have equivalent issues (if, perhaps, less frequent).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My almost-five year old is learning to read (has learnt, really), and is a very bright guy.  He's picked up on the various basic rules of phonetics fairly well, and is roughly at the Easy Reader Level 2-3 level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When sounding out words with me, he'll often ask me why a particular word is spelled or pronounced the way it is, pointing out that it doesn't have X characteristic that it normally would - something as simple as why the y in &quot;by&quot; is a long y sound, while in &quot;blobby&quot; it is a long e sound, often (vowel sounds in English being some of the most confusing).  I'm not someone who is an expert on pronunciation, so my answer is often &quot;I don't know, it just is.&quot;  I try to give tips for recognizing other similar words (such as, when it's a &quot;short&quot; word it's more likely to be long, like by or be, while if it's in a longer word it's more likely to be shorter), but I definitely don't know the &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; about most of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/329151/why-are-the-vowels-in-christ-and-christmas-different-and-other-strange-diphtho&quot;&gt;Reading this question&lt;/a&gt; made me realize that the why often &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; determinable, but of course I'm not going to become an expert in english pronunciation fast enough for my son (probably not for my 3 year old, at the rate I learn these things).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This leads me to my question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I answer my son's questions about why syllables are spelled and pronounced as they are in a way that both helps him learn, and stokes his curiosity to continue learning?  What elements are most helpful to cover, both for myself (to be able to answer his questions) and for him?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In particular, I imagine there are several approaches I could take:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Language of origin (Greek, Latinate, Germanic, etc.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Word construction ('c' is hard when followed by 'o' or 'a', soft before 'i' or 'e')&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rhythm/spoken language reasons (the example question, as to why &quot;christ&quot; is long but &quot;christmas&quot; is short)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are any of these better to focus on, given I cannot learn all of any of them not to mention all of all of them?  For a young child, in particular, which will be more effective (or other approaches I have not listed)?  He does understand other languages exist (and knows some Spanish) and has some concept of other countries and cultures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:38:46.763" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T22:29:49.853" Title="Answering questions about why words are pronounced/spelled as they are" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|reading|language|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25160" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25156" CreationDate="2016-06-03T18:44:51.963" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't recommend co-sleeping in the same bed, there are dangers associated with it (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parents.com/advice/babies/sleep/is-it-safe-to-let-my-baby-sleep-in-my-bed/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parents.com/advice/babies/sleep/is-it-safe-to-let-my-baby-sleep-in-my-bed/&lt;/a&gt;), and it isn't a good long term solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might look for a portable cradle of some kind which can fold up for easy storage or transportation.  I don't know how large his current cradle is, but is it possible that you could put the portable inside the larger cradle?  That might help him get used to sleeping in it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing you might try is to arrange his bed so that part of it is portable.  Lay a blanket over the bed, and make sure he always sleeps with that blanket against him.  Before you go on vacation, make sure he has slept on the blanket for a week without washing it, so that the scent of it is familiar to him.  Babies are soothed by familiar scents (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/your-babys-sense-of-smell&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parenting.com/article/your-babys-sense-of-smell&lt;/a&gt;).  So if you put his blanket down on whatever bed you are trying to get him to sleep in, it might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a little confused...are you saying that you &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; him to sleep in the car seat but he refuses, or that you want him to sleep in your arms on the ride home and he doesn't want to?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants are usually soothed by the vibrations when riding in cars...my sister and brother have a couple of kids who don't want to go to sleep so they used to drive them around in the car until they fell asleep, then they would carry the car seat into the house and place in the child's crib for half an hour.  Usually then the child will sleep through a transfer to their bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you get your child used to sleeping in a car seat that will help with any kind of travel.  We used to take our car seat with us when we went travelling, even flying.  The familiarity of the car seat helped our daughter to fall asleep in a strange car, and we put her in it inside the crib our sister provided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T18:44:51.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2179" CreationDate="2016-06-03T18:57:02.463" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Best story I heard in this regard was of a guest visiting his adult friend at the friend's home. Friend's children were all over the place misbehaving etc. Friend just let it go on. Guest made it clear to the children that &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; would not let it go on, first with verbal warning, secondly by moving to the edge of his seat. In short, he was clear and credible that he &lt;em&gt;would&lt;/em&gt; follow through. &lt;b&gt;And it wasn't even his own house.&lt;/b&gt; Surely you can do similar &lt;b&gt;in your own home&lt;/b&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T18:57:02.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25159" CreationDate="2016-06-03T19:08:46.930" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would keep it simple and accurate: first of all 1) the language we use wasn't designed, nobody sat down and invented it, and 2) it's a hodge-podge/mongrel/mixture from a lot of different sources (other languages) over a lot of different time periods, thousands of years. If you need an illustration, you might locate some examples of &quot;Olde Englishe&quot; before spelling had been standardized and show him that. He sounds smart enough to get the idea -- language is a semi-orderly &lt;em&gt;mess&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastActivityDate="2016-06-03T19:08:46.930" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25163" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25159" CreationDate="2016-06-03T19:22:47.640" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, English is weird.  From talking to a few people I know who had to learn English as a second language, it's pretty hard, especially compared to some others for the reasons your son has identified.  Pronunciation rules aren't consistent.  Spelling isn't consistent.  Other languages (like Spanish, for instance) have well-defined rules about how spelling and pronunciation work.  English is kind of a mash-up of a lot of different languages with different roots and different spelling/pronunciation rules.  Because of that, there's no real consistency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, many people who speak English have different accents, which further screws with pronunciation.  How would you say &quot;Louisiana&quot;?  I grew up in the southern US where that is pronounced &quot;Loos-ey-ana&quot;.  The people we referred to as Yankees pronounced that &quot;Loo-ees-ee-annah&quot;.  I still hate to hear it pronounced like that (because it's wrong, ask anyone from Louisiana :) ).  But it goes to show how even two different people can say a word very differently.  And when a language evolves over hundreds of years, those differences shape how the language is spoken and spelled (for example, see British vs. American spellings of certain words, like color vs. colour).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, the answer to some of your son's questions might be &quot;That's just how it is.  English is weird sometimes.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="13504" LastEditDate="2016-06-11T22:29:49.853" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T22:29:49.853" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="25164" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26191" CreationDate="2016-06-03T20:20:39.447" Score="5" ViewCount="5130" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I speak 3 languages fluently, our native, swahili and English. My biggest concern is we speak both of the languages in the house and as a parent I'm now concerned that we might confuse our young boy on what to use first hence delaying his speech. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I speak to him our native language and English but sometimes his dad speaks all the languages to him. I can tell that sometimes he fathoms few things due to his response and sometimes doesn't fathom others when his dad uses all the three. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I admit it's a little bit difficult especially if you're used to speaking all the languages. I would like to hear from parents of trilingual; how did you help your child through this scenario and will this delay his speech? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently he can only count one to five and that's it because in every feeding we count numbers together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will be 17months on the 29th.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: at Age 3 my son spoke English fluently and started even reading his story books, and he is good in dictation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastEditorDisplayName="user22314" LastEditDate="2019-03-05T03:13:13.573" LastActivityDate="2019-03-05T03:13:13.573" Title="At what age do trilingual toddlers develop consistent speech?" Tags="|toddler|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="25168" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25130" CreationDate="2016-06-04T18:43:58.643" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another anecdote. I have fraternal twin boys. They were ambidextrous through the first year or so. I had a suspicion that one was left-handed, but he wasn't reliably left-handed. Going into year 3, one is reliably right-handed. The other one tends to left-handedness but will happily eat, brush his teeth, or draw using either hand. So I'm still not sure which he'll end up as! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;reliably&quot; = almost always using the same hand for a task.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4060" LastActivityDate="2016-06-04T18:43:58.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26169" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-05T10:47:16.043" Score="0" ViewCount="79" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am planning migrate from overseas to my homeland when my infant becomes around 3 months old, she is 1 months old now. Though she will start some vaccines soon in two weeks. However, we cannot finish all, so in the middle of some vaccines (e.g. rotavirus, Hepatitis B, HiB), we will migrate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question: is there any problem with getting the first dose away, and remaining doses in my homeland country? Any pros/cons, anything I should be careful, such as should I wait sometime like a week or so after the she got her dose before travel?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I asked a few doctors, they said it is totally fine, though I heard a guy whose  child died, because doctors on the both side did some assumptions, and overlooked the risk factors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22356" LastActivityDate="2016-06-06T07:45:01.847" Title="Migrating to another continent between vaccines" Tags="|travel|immunizations|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25159" CreationDate="2016-06-05T13:36:26.473" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is smart enough to enjoy &quot;why&quot;, then a really good approach I'd recommend would be to go through the various invasions of England (Vikings, Angles, Saxons, Jutes etc) and tie the various words back to language. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you know the source, you can make very good guesses as to the rules for words you don't know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-06-05T13:36:26.473" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26169" CreationDate="2016-06-05T13:42:03.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't personally testify to the absence of medical risks, but we've done exactly what you describe with our 2 youngest kids, and I think with our 3 older kids as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless I disagreed with the importance of the vaccines, I wouldn't delay getting them due to travel plans. On the contrary, it makes sense to me that all of our traveling adds to their risk, and the vaccines will help minimize that risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2588" LastActivityDate="2016-06-05T13:42:03.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26169" CreationDate="2016-06-06T07:45:01.847" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every vaccination should be documented in your child's &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carte_Jaune&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Carte Jaune&lt;/a&gt; - make sure your current pediatrician issues one. This will document the dates, type of vaccine and manufacturer, any other doctor should be able to continue the vaccination routine according to national or international standards. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This document will in the future also record vaccinations outside the &quot;standard procedure&quot;, e.g. those your child gets prior to traveling to other parts of the world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from this, only the normal risks (and benefits!) of vaccinating apply, which is a completely different topic and need not be discussed here. For your immediate travel plans note that &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; babies &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be a bit queasy or run a slight fever during the following one or two days, but that should be about it. And not all children react - mine didn't, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-06-06T07:45:01.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24782" CreationDate="2016-06-06T08:56:43.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In Germany, the official recommendation is that newborns should not use a blanket during the first year. Instead, they should sleep:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;on their back&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in a sleeping bag&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;in their own bed (though in the parent's room)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;on a firm mattress&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;without anything else (blankets, toys, pillows) in the bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kindergesundheit-info.de/index.php?eID=tx_sschpdfplus_download&amp;amp;dID=3310&amp;amp;dName=1&amp;amp;dHash=feb54afa&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Schlafempfehlungen für das 1. Lebensjahr&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, from the &lt;em&gt;Bundeszentrale für gesundheitliche Aufklärung&lt;/em&gt; (a German government agency tasked with providing health information to citizens):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These recommendations are mainly aimed at reducing the (already small) risk of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Sudden infant death syndrome&lt;/a&gt;, because one theory is that children may get entangled in a blanket and suffocate. Sleeping bags prevent this, because they cannot be pulled over the head/face due to their cut and size.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Statistically, most cases of SIDS occur during 2-4 months of age, less frequently after 6 months of age, and only very rarely after one year. So once the child is 12 to 18 months old, there is probably no benefit to avoiding a blanket.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my recommendation would be to start using a blanket once the child is about 18 to 24 months old, which is also when he/she will usually outgrow the sleeping bag. After 12 months, are blanket is unlikely to pose a risk, so you can start earlier if you want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-06-06T08:56:43.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26176" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26178" CreationDate="2016-06-06T21:06:28.710" Score="15" ViewCount="22556" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old is in Kindergarten.  I work at home and I pick him up from the bus stop every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyday, the first thing out of his mouth after school is, &quot;Can I have a play date with so and so (person varies)?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really really want him to play with friends for multiple reasons - not the least of which being that I need to work, and I get less done if he's around - and so in spirit, I'm more than glad to grant his request.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In practice though it ends up being extremely painful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, I don't think we've ever had somebody come to our door asking to play with him.  But, he's young, I don't know if that means too much.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More importantly though, I watch him play with kids and attempt to play with kids, and it seems like they don't want to play with him.  I also watch the way he behaves around them, and for lack of a better word; he behaves &quot;&lt;em&gt;weird&lt;/em&gt;&quot;.  Other words that may fit are &quot;&lt;em&gt;annoying&lt;/em&gt;&quot; or &quot;&lt;em&gt;socially awkward&lt;/em&gt;&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today, I watched him follow a girl who's his age asking her if she wanted to have a play  date, while she literally ran away.  It seems like he's not quite present with people and not responding well to social cues (I don't know what I should expect here - but he seems not to be doing well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This general sentiment is echoed by his Kindergarten teacher.  She says that he is often &quot;&lt;em&gt;annoying&lt;/em&gt;&quot; to others, and often seems oblivious to social cues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been evaluated by a psychologist who after watching a video of him interact with an intern for an hour decided to diagnose him with &lt;em&gt;OCD&lt;/em&gt;, &lt;em&gt;mild Autism Spectrum Disorder&lt;/em&gt;, and &lt;em&gt;ADHD&lt;/em&gt;.  I don't entirely disagree with her conclusion, but if it's that easy to diagnose complicated physiological brain issues then it seems like the diagnosis is the same as no diagnosis.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of what diagnosis he has, I still need to deal with this in real time.   I don't want to suppress him, and I also suspect that anything I do will make it worse (I'm not saying this is true - that's just how it occurs to me), but it's now becoming too painful for me.  I need to find a way to approach this situation more effectively - right now I find myself almost resentful of my child for &lt;em&gt;&quot;making&quot;&lt;/em&gt; me deal with this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love my kid; and this post is probably less about him than it is about me.  He's great.  I find myself wanting so badly to help him avoid the discomfort that can follow social difficulties; and I am way too close to see clearly; but I want to find a way to interact with this so that I have peace &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; he develops appropriate social skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Addendum&lt;/strong&gt; - I forgot to mention that we have already begun work with the school, and in my opinion (though I lack any basis for comparison), we have some extraordinary individuals working in our school district who really seem to be competent and caring.  Also, we are sending him to &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/treatment/applied-behavior-analysis-aba&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; title=&quot;ABA on Autism Speaks Website&quot;&gt;ABA&lt;/a&gt; this summer for some of the time.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose my real question is - what do I do &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; - in the moment - as this is happening?   How do I interact with him about it?  Should I offer correction?  Should I just try to stop being so attached to how it looks, and let him work it out on his own? (Not that I am certain that I am capable of this). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't want to punish him; like he can't play with his friends - he has done nothing that deserves punishment - but at the same time, I don't want to just say, sure, go play with &lt;em&gt;so and so&lt;/em&gt;; even though it seems clear to me that &lt;em&gt;so and so&lt;/em&gt; doesn't want to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, maybe I'm trying to hard to protect him.  I've always considered myself to have a degree of skill with thinking things like this through, and finding a sane and empowering place to come from - and if it were someone else coming to me for advice about a similar situation, I'm certain I'd know exactly what guidance to offer; but with my own kid, I feel completely helpless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7653" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-15T13:24:12.407" LastActivityDate="2019-02-15T13:24:12.407" Title="How to help my 5-year-old when other children don't want to play with him?" Tags="|primary-schooler|social-development|friends|socialization|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26176" CreationDate="2016-06-06T21:20:23.847" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, I'm glad you've had him seen by a medical professional, because usually that is my first piece of advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your gut doesn't tell you that what the doctor diagnosed him with is true, then I highly suggest a second opinion. Like you, I think I'd be a bit hesitant to blindly accept the diagnosis of my child based on watching a video interaction. So, if your gut says the diagnosis is off, then start there and seek help from a different doctor. If you get the same diagnosis from a second doctor, then maybe that will be enough to have you set aside your feelings, and maybe it is time to switch to a different mode.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If for some reason, you can't or don't want to see a new doctor, see what help you can get from the school. Since you have a medical diagnosis, call the school (or the school district) and see what types of services are available to children with that diagnosis. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This becomes even more important next year in first grade where he spends most of his day in school. You want to make sure he's getting the support he needs at school, from his teacher and from the administration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In terms of dealing with the social issues he's encountering right now, I think I'd first ask him in a non-threatening, non-judgmental way, and see how he thinks things are going. Ask him if he has friends at school. Depending on his responses, you might dig deeper and ask him if he has any ideas why kids act the way they do towards him. Find out, if you can, what is happening in his brain and how he feels about it. Then you can develop a strategy for helping him cope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, if you determine the doctor's diagnosis is correct, you may find that you want to join either an in-person or online community of parents of children with similar diagnoses. Those parents will likely have much broader experience and perspective on how to help your child than our generic group will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may find that you benefit from counseling to help you cope with a child with a disability. You may find your child benefits from some form of play therapy to help him improve his understanding of and ability to respond to social cues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary: Trust your gut. Don't quit until you are satisfied with the diagnosis. You are his advocate, so fight for him. Early intervention is much better than later intervention, so it is good you are trying to start now. Find out what the school can do to help your family. Get the support you need, for both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, as I always state, I'm not a doctor. This isn't medical advice. It is parenting advice from one parent-advocate to another. You can do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2016-06-06T23:26:17.773" LastActivityDate="2016-06-06T23:26:17.773" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26176" CreationDate="2016-06-07T01:30:55.570" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;My nine year old has had similar difficulties, although he does not yet have an official diagnosis.  These are some things we found to help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First of all, consider that he doesn't need a lot of friends, he just needs one good one.  It can take a while to find one, but there is someone out there who is the right mix of tolerance and kindness and quirkiness to be your son's friend.  Don't give up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, make an effort to make him available for neighborhood friends.  For lack of a better way to put it, kids are less picky about who they play with when they're desperate.  If your son's the only one outside, neighborhood kids will play with him just because he's there, even if it's only for a little while, and even if they wouldn't play with him if they had to make an effort to plan something ahead of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make time to observe your son and act as his &quot;relationship coach.&quot;  When he doesn't pick up on social cues, tell him in a matter-of-fact way what those cues mean, and provide alternatives.  &quot;She's running away because she doesn't want to talk to you right now.  That boy over there is looking around like he would like to play with someone.  Why don't you ask him if he wants to play?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Interestingly, when I started putting these social cues into words, I found it was sometimes more difficult than I anticipated.  It's something most people &quot;just know,&quot; without really putting much thought into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then after you've coached him on the same social cue a few times, you can change it to a question.  &quot;What does it mean when someone is running away?&quot;  Even if it doesn't occur to him naturally, he should be able to reason through it mechanically after a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, let go of the notion that he would somehow be better off figuring it out on his own.  He will have plenty of opportunity to practice when you're not around.  There's no harm in giving him as much coaching as you are able, as long as you make it about teaching the social cues, not some sort of disciplinary event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son's nonverbal reaction to that sort of teaching is something like, &quot;Oh thanks, I didn't know.  That helps.&quot;  Or at worst, &quot;Oh yeah, I forgot.&quot;  If it ever results in shame, you're doing it wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2016-06-07T01:30:55.570" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26179" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-06T09:42:51.737" Score="0" ViewCount="176" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a simple question: Is there any simple guide, site, book where all the progression of the newborn's cognitive development is described? Preferably, it should be of the format &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;day 10: most infants begin to recognize day and night etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not interested in any deep, all theory encompassing book. Just a fun guide on when I can say &quot;wow my baby now must have this ability!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="Apostolos Apostolidis" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-06-25T15:43:54.027" LastActivityDate="2018-06-25T15:43:54.027" Title="Is there a fun guide on infant cognitive abilities?" Tags="|infant|newborn|cognitive-development|media|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26180" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26179" CreationDate="2016-06-07T08:25:45.103" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try The Wonder Weeks. That gives details of when babies supposedly make mental leaps that allow them to understand new things about the world and develop new skills. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a more general guide, the Baby Centre website also has a milestone chart which gives an idea of when babies will be able to do certain things. It goes all the way up to about 3 years so not just for babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6476/milestone-chart-one-to-six-months&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6476/milestone-chart-one-to-six-months&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They also have more detail on what to expect by week e.g.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/s1001638/1-week-old&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycentre.co.uk/s1001638/1-week-old&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know of anything that quite goes down to the detail of what happens on any particular day of the baby's life but even if there was, I don't think it would be very accurate. Even with a monthly guide, you will find a lot of variation between different babies. You should use any of these sources as a rough guide and not  read too much into it if the baby does things a bit earlier or later. But it can be fun to check the chart and think &quot;in a month, my baby might be able to... &quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2016-06-07T08:25:45.103" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26183" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-07T12:35:30.100" Score="0" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a neighbor boy who is 6. I have a 4 and a 2 year old. The boys mom is nice, the boy seems nice (I can tell he's a coddled only child, but whatever). He's been over to play a few times with the kids but my dog (a friendly mutt terrior mix) and a different neighbor's dogs both don't like the kid. My dog who wouldn't snap or bite my kids if they were hurting her snaps at the kid for seemingly no reason. The other dogs (a chow and a st bernard) both act like they will break through the fence and attack the kid. My kids have gone in and played with the chow and st. bernard and they've not so much as turned an eye at my kids. This boy has a German shepard dog which is a nice dog (no evidence of abuse that is to say). So I'm at a loss. My parenting instinct says something is up as 3 dogs don't like this boy for seemingly no reason. I super-supervise when the kids play but nothing seems out of ordinary. So I dunno. Do I tell the kid never come back? Do I let my kids continue to play and just keep supervising? (A side note, when I speak to this boy he listens and respects my authority)? Or should i not really give this more thought?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17221" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T13:58:07.663" Title="Should I trust the dogs instincts?" Tags="|play-time|supervision|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26184" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-07T12:51:43.330" Score="5" ViewCount="265" Body="&lt;p&gt;People ask how old my baby is, and I'm not sure what to tell them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was born May 16, 2016.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do I give his age in weeks? Days? When should I give it in months?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23385" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-06-07T14:16:30.463" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T10:23:27.487" Title="How do I give my child's age?" Tags="|infant|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2016-06-09T11:41:30.533" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26185" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-07T13:34:09.207" Score="51" ViewCount="13590" Body="&lt;p&gt;The teenage boy of my girlfriend is starting his first year of senior high school next September.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a gifted teenager, he does not do a lot but still gets good grades -- very good grades actually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet, this year, school has given assignments that he completed, but in a very strained manner (lack of time, tears, stress that he gave his mum and me as well).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of that, recent weeks have been fraught with stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Current year is almost over so everyone is happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of me can see the same pattern happening next year. But next year will be different, because of change of pace. Yet TB is careless about it (normal for a 15-year-old) and not taking the right steps to plan/care about his workload. TB is like a lot of teens, a procrastinator.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What can I do to nudge TB to be more proactive with his school work and amend his procrastinating pattern? (&lt;strong&gt;update&lt;/strong&gt;: after many talks with all of you, the word &lt;em&gt;apathy&lt;/em&gt; is closer to the truth)  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what I've done to ensure TB is doing his homework&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No yelling from me, except when arriving at breaking point. A tiny bit of biting irony always help to nudge TB&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to give him my perspective as an adult to instill some empathy&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give him a deal, e.g. he can help me with the manual work of the house like door fixing, once he's done with his studies&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20047" LastEditorUserId="13504" LastEditDate="2016-06-11T22:29:54.680" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T13:11:01.997" Title="How can I teach a teenager to plan better and procrastinate less in his studies?" Tags="|teen|school|gifted|" AnswerCount="18" CommentCount="24" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26187" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26184" CreationDate="2016-06-07T14:35:05.870" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can give your child's age however it suits you. Do not count the day he was born - that is &quot;Day Zero&quot;. After that is day 1, 2, etc. Every 7 days is a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally how people give their child's age depends on how precise they want to be. &quot;Twenty-two days&quot; is fine. &quot;Three weeks&quot; is also fine. Then &quot;three and a half weeks&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Months are counted by the calendar dates; on June 16, he will be one month old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People often start giving their baby's age in months at about 3 to 4 months of age, and sometimes give an age in months until the second birthday. However you want to report the age is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-06-07T14:35:05.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-07T17:28:16.607" Score="65" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like a common problem for gifted children: they finally reach a level  where sitting back and coasting isn't enough, and having to actually put in some effort comes as a serious shock. Often the more gifted the child the worse this is, because greater talents merely put off the evil day and the resulting flameout is all the worse. At least this is happening at school and not when he is away at college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might help to explain this to TB. Understanding a situation often makes it easier to cope with. It might also help to understand that &quot;this is what its been like for your classmates all along&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apart from that, I'd say you are on the right track. Firm about what needs to be done, understanding about the challenge, and rewards and approval for success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-06-07T17:28:16.607" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-07T18:10:34.867" Score="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to supplement Paul's answer a little by abstracting a little bit. The reason gifted children may have this behavior is because the adults near them praise them for how smart they are, not for tackling a difficult task they have trouble doing--even if they failed. Mainly because most of the time in early life they do not fail :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the moment, I cannot find the name of the theory behind it, but &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.khanacademy.org/about/blog/post/95208400815/the-learning-myth-why-ill-never-tell-my-son-hes&quot;&gt;this article touches the topic well.&lt;/a&gt; The best way is to start  letting the kid know that things will get more difficult. It is OK to fail--he will have to analyze why he failed and try again. Praise effort, not success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll also add, now that he is older, it will probably have less of an effect. He will need to experience consequences for his actions in order to gain motivation to do what needs to be done. I know after pumping gas for a couple years (I live in Oregon) I had all the motivation I needed to go to school for Software Engineering. Show him some tools (effective habits), and let him make mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-06-07T23:49:29.833" LastActivityDate="2016-06-07T23:49:29.833" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25164" CreationDate="2016-06-07T18:22:18.057" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From the literature I've read, I believe sometimes after 2 or maybe closer to 3 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But don't worry, if the child &lt;em&gt;understands&lt;/em&gt; when you talk to him, in any of the languages, that's a good sign he won't have major problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some studies that say the speech can be delayed, but others do not agree. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hanen.org/Helpful-Info/Articles/Bilingualism-in-Young-Children--Separating-Fact-fr.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here's&lt;/a&gt; one link that explains a few things about bilingualism (or multilingualism).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, having said that, my wife is a professional language teacher, and I am a graduated elementary school teacher - and we have learned a few things along the way about the topic. Our children are two-year-old twins. We're Croatians, but we live in Germany.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the kids in the daycare are bilingual, and we've noticed that some of them are a bit slower than expected in language acquisition - not native Germans though. But I don't know of any of them that has actual speech problems requiring specialists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's why I still think that multilingual kids learn the language a bit later then usual, but they do have to learn two languages and are better off for it in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside, our twins don't speak as many words as the kids who only speak German (or Croatian, from what we see/hear in our friends and family back home). They pronounce more words on German, but I think they understand both languages equally well. They're starting to combine words more and more, and in the last weeks I think I've even noticed switching to the &quot;appropriate&quot; language - they ask for &quot;još&quot; (Croatian for &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt;) water when speaking to me, but with their German friend around, they ask for &quot;mehr&quot; (German for &lt;em&gt;more&lt;/em&gt;) water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's why I think that while they might have some delays, they'll learn two languages and be quite ok in the coming years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17394" LastActivityDate="2016-06-07T18:22:18.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26192" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-07T21:54:39.090" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cognitive dissonance&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a nutshell it was explained in some article, as, &quot;sour grapes&quot; from Aesop's fables. The fox couldnt reach the grapes by jumping for them, so gave up, &quot;...they are probably sour anyway.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For background, see this &lt;a href=&quot;http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=cognitive%20dissonance%20in%20gifted%20children&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;as_sdt=0&amp;amp;as_vis=1&amp;amp;oi=scholart&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;ved=0ahUKEwjz3K_f8ZbNAhVWwWMKHUgCBYQQgQMIGzAA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Google scholar search on &lt;strong&gt;&quot;cognitive dissonance in gifted children&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The particularly enlightning article was from a few years back on a massive study (in the uk?) on encouraging children in certain ways. I could not find a link.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23387" LastEditorUserId="7312" LastEditDate="2016-06-09T11:37:51.453" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T11:37:51.453" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26194" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-08T01:15:34.780" Score="3" ViewCount="147" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter just finished second grade and will start third grade in the fall.  She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 3 and a half.  We started her in pre-school at age 4 with an IEP, and she has had an IEP every year since.  She has always struggled in school.  Her handwriting is horrible, even now, and she can not spell even the simplest words like &quot;and&quot;, &quot;let&quot;, &quot;that&quot;.  We have always just attributed it to the ADHD.  We hired a private tutor to work with her over the summer to try to get her caught up.  After a few sessions with the tutor, she suspected that my daughter may have dyslexia.  I took an online survey and gave her an online assessment, and both indicated she should be tested.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I started reading on how dyslexia is diagnosed and treated.  It seems that the diagnosis process is complex and requires several tests and various specialists, etc.  And the treatment is basically an IEP with the same accommodations she already gets for her ADHD.  So my question is; should I bother with getting an official diagnosis?  Would having a dyslexia diagnosis be treated any differently than what we are already doing for her ADHD?  I ask because I have been through several of these diagnosis processes ,and they are expensive (high deductible insurance) and usually take several appointments spread out over several months.  If the end result is just another label for why she does poorly in school ,and no real treatment options, I'd rather not waste the time and money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23390" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T14:06:09.207" Title="Should I seek a diagnosis for dyslexia for my daughter?" Tags="|education|adhd|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24679" CreationDate="2016-06-08T05:38:37.630" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can understand your concern about staying focused for a 7 year old. It's such a tough age because more is being demanded of them in school and they have a limited attention span at that age. I agree with @Joe, it's important to know when he has the most difficulty focusing. Also, it would be helpful to ask yourself: Does he have difficulty following directions? Does it take him longer to complete tasks than other kids in class? Is he often forgetful? If you answered yes to each of these, he might fall under the category of ADHD. If you think that might be the case, it would be key to talk with the school counselor and request an IEP process to see if he might fit that diagnosis. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, if you want to wait to see about a diagnosis, you could try some ways to help with refocusing. You might try removing external stimulation, like a TV, others in the room, video games, etc. to help him focus. It would be helpful to break the task into small parts and have him check in with you throughout to make sure he's able to complete the whole task. Taking breaks in between each part can help with coming back to focus, as well. You might also try a visual timer (ideally sand timer) for him to have in front of him to know when the time is up for each task - this will also help him grasp what &quot;time&quot; actually looks and feels like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21998" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-06-08T17:50:14.090" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T17:50:14.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26197" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-08T09:28:21.023" Score="6" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Hear it from others&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, teenagers are typically deaf to wisdom from their parental figures. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest setting up situations for this young man to speak with gifted adults working in challenging fields that may interest him. Invite such individuals to dinner, and/or arrange for him (not you!) to set up an “&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Informational_interview&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;informational interview&lt;/a&gt;” with such persons at their work site. Tip them off about his work habits, and let them explain their own experience in learning how coasting won’t work in college or in real work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;College Prep&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;“College preparatory” schools are high schools designed to prepare students for the rigors of university. Ideally, in the later grades, they run courses as is done in college where the student is treated as an adult, syllabus on first day listing expectations, no reminders about due-dates, no hand-holding or coddling, pop quizzes, all readings expected to be done and closely-studied well before class, and so on. Experiencing this myself in high school was a wake-up call. If you can find such a school for him, great. If not, visit his current school’s staff to see if any teachers may be taking this approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he truly is gifted, he should be enrolling in &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_Placement&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Advanced Placement&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Baccalaureate&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;International Baccalaureate&lt;/a&gt; courses. Being surrounded by other gifted and motivated students will expose him to better attitudes and better habits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some community colleges admit high school students for some classes. Taking a real college course during summer might be another way for him to see what life beyond high school is like, and what new work habits he needs to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12046" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T09:28:21.023" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26176" CreationDate="2016-06-08T11:09:57.087" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest arranging some more structured activities for him to do with his friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This won't take away the necessity for him to learn how to do free-form play, but it might make play-dates with him more fun for the other kids (and for you). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Arrange a craft activity or a board game, take them bowling, anything where the nature of the activity is such that the 'rules' (e.g. 'you take it in turns to bowl') are laid out explicitly and he doesn't need to interpret implicit social signals to understand them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T11:09:57.087" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26199" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26184" CreationDate="2016-06-08T11:22:19.777" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here in the UK it's normal to say&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;He's x days old&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;until he's a week or two old, then say&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;He's x weeks old&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;until he's about 2 months old, then say&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;He's x months old&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;until he's 2 years old, then go with years in the usual way, maybe adding in some fractions if you want to be more specific:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;He's two and a half&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Example: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/documents/birth%20to%205%20development%20timeline.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;NHS Birth-to-5 development timeline&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1-4 weeks ... 6-8 weeks&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3-5 months ... 15-18 months&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1.5-2 years ... 3-5 years&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes medical professionals keep on using months even when the child is no longer an infant (e.g. vaccinations due at '40 months' in the page quoted above) but this is not colloquial usage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T11:22:19.777" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26200" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-08T13:35:44.623" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would comment but I don't have the rep for it, so this is getting posted as an answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want to back up what Paul Johnson and Jeff Clark have said already. They're exactly right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm only 20 so I can probably give you a good perspective on what he's going through. I was &quot;gifted&quot; in school and always coasted along, but then senior year of high school was the most stressful year of my life. I was taking AP classes and was just totally unprepared for the amount of work that was necessary. Make him aware that everyone gets to a point in their education where the work has caught up with them and they're not so far ahead anymore, whether that happens in kindergarten or college. And of course praise him for &lt;em&gt;working hard&lt;/em&gt;, not being smart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More practically, talk to him about what classes he is planning to take next year, and whether he thinks he has the right amount of AP or other advanced classes. There is no need for him to push himself too far by taking a bunch of advanced classes if it would cause a lot of stress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23395" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T13:35:44.623" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-08T13:57:21.943" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;An aspect no one seems to have covered:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let him fail at something, once.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was in that situation. Coasted easily for a long time, could not deal with real difficult stuff once I got to it. In my case, until I failed seriously, I wouldn't accept that I had to work hard. The more parents would try to help/guide, the least I'd learn the lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Marks below what I could have gotten resulted in not being admitted to my choice university. However, the lesson learned allowed me to understand the value of hard work. This carried much more value in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14014" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T13:57:21.943" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26183" CreationDate="2016-06-08T13:58:07.663" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, you should not trust any dog's instinct nor should you trust any strangers on the Internet like me. You are the responsible party and you need to do your own homework. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You certainly should apply good parenting strategies: observe the kids when they are playing together, set clear rules of what's okay and what isn't, and follow through consistently when any rule violation occurs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The dogs can be set off by anything: maybe there is a cat or other pet that the boy interacts with frequently (even if it's not his own). Maybe it's the fabric softener his mother uses, or maybe he has piece of beef jerky in his pocket. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T13:58:07.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26194" CreationDate="2016-06-08T14:06:09.207" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;While a formal diagnosis may not be important, I think it is important to explore the possibility of your child being dyslexic in addition to (or possibly instead of) being ADHD.  We suspected that our son was dyslexic due to the significant differences in his abilities in most subjects versus his reading abilities.  He was able to compensate so well that teachers initially thought he was reading OK.  But when we started focusing on the possibility of dyslexia, the school administered some tests at the end of first grade that confirmed it enough for them (things like showing him nonsense words and asking him to pronounce them phonetically).  We never got an official medical diagnosis so there was no cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Subsequent to this, his IEP was created and he was given special instruction for reading/writing/spelling that was tailored to dyslexics.  The difference it made was amazing!  In two years he went from reading barely at grade level and with significant stress, to reading well above grade level and even reading books for enjoyment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="823" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T14:06:09.207" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-08T18:38:17.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a former 'gifted teen', I figured I'd weigh in. In my (personal, biased) experience, the procrastination is the real problem here rather than an increase in the difficulty of tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how do you break a procrastinator out of their habits?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Encourage him to keep a planner/calendar for his deadlines and consult it daily.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to get him to estimate the amount of time each project will take in as much detail as possible. Write this number down somewhere. Compare the number of hours he estimated to the number of hours it took when he's finished with the tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, I would advise you to be very delicate about talking to him about changing his habits. I imagine he's quite proud of his abilities, and saying anything that might come off as a suggestion that he is struggling might not go over well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23400" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T18:38:17.353" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-08T19:27:41.083" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Procrastination is not a problem limited to teenagers. This may be exacerbated if he finds the intellectual or problem solving aspect of the work easy and feeling like going through the process of getting it done is a fairly pointless chore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here there is a difference between him understanding the material set and going through the process of explaining to his teachers that he understands it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say that you could help in two ways, first express sympathy that he has to do an apparently boring an pointless task, while emphasising that it does have potential benefits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thing is to help him find an activity which is self-rewarding and a bit of effort and application produces something tangible which he can be proud of. This is not so much about giving a trivial reward for 'trying' but giving an opportunity where the learning curve is challenging enough to be interesting but also has a reasonably short term pay-off in of itself rather than an arbitrary 'reward'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest some sort of arts or creative activity, music, drawing, sculpture, model making, carpentry, etc where the achievement and the reward are one and the same and the activity demands concentration but is pleasurable in itself. Here the thing is not to hold him up to some impossible standard of perfection but to set challenges which are difficult but rewarding ie say 'can you solve this problem?' rather than 'do this in exactly this way'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Solving problem is fun for clever people but trying to be 'perfect' can be soul destroying especially when you know you 'should' be able to because you are talented. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22264" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T19:27:41.083" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="791" CreationDate="2016-06-08T22:12:06.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should teach them to not react to the teasing directly, but rather to react to the presumed &lt;em&gt;reason&lt;/em&gt; for the teasing.  It is only by responding in the meta-layer that your child can overcome these issues and dominate his tormentors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, let's say TB is being berated for having a big nose.  A knee-jerk reaction is to respond with something like: &quot;My nose isn't all that big!&quot;  This is a losing proposition and will do nothing but egg-on the attack.  Instead, if TB says something like: &quot;Hey, man... it's cool, I used to be insecure too, and thought I had to make fun of other people in order to feel good about myself,&quot; he will &lt;strong&gt;dominate&lt;/strong&gt; in HS.  It is all about changing the frame of reality.  Instead of buying into the tormentor's frame, he needs to re-frame the situation to suit him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a great... no wait, a &lt;strong&gt;fantastic&lt;/strong&gt; series all about this called 'On Being A Man' by David DeAngelo.  The video set is ostensibly about fixing your dating life, but is actually a bible for people to take control of their lives and become self-actualized and possess an internal locus of control.  There is so much great content in there it is scary.  Unfortunately for me, I didn't get ahold of it until I was in my 40s, but I've given it to my kids and it has proven incredibly useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6522" LastActivityDate="2016-06-08T22:12:06.687" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26208" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26211" CreationDate="2016-06-09T03:23:15.550" Score="2" ViewCount="197" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year-old son is very rational and thoughtful, but in my view he doesn't understand danger well. For example, he will run right next to fast moving cars in the sidewalk. It seems he has a model of danger in which he thinks he'll have time to react to anything, or he'll get a sign from a car that might hit him....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suppose I could show him videos of somebody getting hurt, but I'd like to avoid something potentially traumatic like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastEditorUserId="26" LastEditDate="2016-06-09T04:51:55.910" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T08:42:43.543" Title="What are good ways to help a child understand danger better?" Tags="|education|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26210" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-09T04:54:47.270" Score="0" ViewCount="397" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old daughter knows how to pee in the toilet but when its time for her to poop she goes in her diaper. she has another year of preschool and soon its off to Kindergarten. We do ask her if she need to go potty and she does only with the number 1. We only get frustrated when she doesn't tell us that she has to go poop and we find out that she pooped on herself.  I know its still a work in progress with the potty training for her. when she does go pee in the toilet she is always saying that she doesn't want to fall in the toilet we do have a toilet set for her to use. What type of advice should we do so that she can go poop in the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23404" LastActivityDate="2016-07-10T15:55:18.140" Title="my daughter just turned 4 years old she doesn't like going poop in the toilet" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26208" CreationDate="2016-06-09T05:09:49.073" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming that we're talking about a kid who's lacking risk assessment skills, &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; one who is developmentally disabled, the best way to teach kids about danger is to let them experience it, including letting them experience when things go wrong!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you give your kid the scare routine, you're doing that -- scaring him -- not teaching him to be competent at risk assessment.  Overcautious behavior ruins at least as many lives as incautious behavior: both extremes are bad, sanity is somewhere in the middle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning to manage little dangers is what prepares kids for big ones.  I recommend giving your child freedom in situations where screwing up past a certain degree will probably get him hurt (but not maimed or killed), and let him learn.  Examples include climbing trees, using tools, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wrote an article a couple of years back, entitled &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://projectdogpound.org/posts/dangerous-things-are-for-kids-too/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Dangerous Things Are For Kids, Too&lt;/a&gt;&quot;, which you might find interesting.  It's short, I promise, and on point.  It's a short episode from my family's life that demonstrates the value that danger can have as a learning tool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T05:09:49.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-09T05:29:14.990" Score="25" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gifted kids have problems with approaching work in a disciplined manner because they don't experience a benefit in doing so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you give a &quot;normal&quot; kid a &quot;normal&quot; math test, their level of preparation largely determines the outcome.  This is a lesson they learn over and over in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you give  a &quot;gifted&quot; kid a &quot;normal&quot; math test (and most gifted ones, to be honest), they can be sleep deprived and never have bothered to look at the material, and still ace it by reasoning from first principles and gaming the test with context clues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This was my world growing up.  Normal people keep TELLING the gifted kid how much hard work pays off, but the gifted kid, when he or she works very hard, gets exactly the same shruggy &quot;as expected&quot; top-notch result he or she got from absolutely blowing everything off until the last minute... or worse: in some of our cases, the ONLY way we adapt to work that is far below our intellectual levels is to ratchet up the pressure by purposely procrastinating or over-committing ourselves into a time crunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discipline doesn't work for us the way it works for everyone else...until...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...things get hard...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...at which point, a lot of gifted kids crumple in on themselves because they have absolutely no coping skills for this situation, and their entire identity, their theory of how they have value to the world, is based on their simply being smarter out of the gate than everybody else.  When that stops working, especially when the kid doesn't believe that hard work makes a difference (because it never did before), it can be devestating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a time-tested escape from that nasty little running-off-a-cliff experience, though.  It's something that a dozen or so of my most well-adjusted high-intelligence friends and I have experienced in our formative years:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get him interested and actually invested in doing something that is incredibly hard (long-term hard, not master-it-in-a-month hard), and in which his intellect is not a major determiner of success.&lt;/strong&gt;  Examples include martial arts, mountain climbing, powerlifting or olympic weightlifting.  Just about any years-to-develop physical discipline will do. &amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This takes the ego out (because ego was attached to being smart, remember?) of doing something one is bad at, and learning how to apply disciplined practice to improve and excel.  Once one has viscerally experienced what that is like, one is able to believe that discipline works, and apply it when it's useful to do so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="26" LastEditorUserId="9910" LastEditDate="2016-11-08T13:11:01.997" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T13:11:01.997" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26208" CreationDate="2016-06-09T08:42:43.543" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter used to rush into elevator alone. We told her again and again not to do that. One time we purposefully didn't follow her fast enough. And the door closed. A scream and crying followed. A second later we reached the elevator and opened the door. She never entered it alone since.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with HedgeMage - if your kid is not reasonable enough to understand the danger - for whatever reason (age, character, stubbornness, showing off) - there is no other way than to let him experience it. Try to find a situation where the dangerous event will occur, but the risk of serious injury is minimal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6061" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T08:42:43.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6949" CreationDate="2016-06-09T08:51:44.693" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Or think of some creative ideas for books like ones with rising characters out of pages or personalized one. Especially for the toddler, he would be definitely interested in being a hero of his own book! I ordered one for my stepson last month from a site that customizes books using the customer's name, and he was so happy! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23405" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-06-12T16:03:33.767" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T16:03:33.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26215" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-09T09:39:16.020" Score="3" ViewCount="249" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the father of a 9 year old boy, who, while in the top tier regarding intelligence and grades, has a serious problem of 'getting things done'. Simple things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue does not occur at school itself, where he finishes tests as well as 'assisted homework', not really speedy, but generally in time. He seems to be pretty self-motivated there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now for the issue: It is almost impossible to make him do something if he is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; motivated. I will give some concrete examples, but I also want to draw your attention to the bigger picture.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every morning we have the same awful routine: It takes about 15 calls and 20-30 minutes just to get him out of bed. It then takes about 10 further calls to make him start eating at breakfast. The same goes for bathroom, getting dressed and ready to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The same applies to the evening routine. It is close to impossible to make him brush teeth and put on pajamas, without getting loud or threatening that he will not have any time to read.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I'm writing this today is the following: He was sitting at the breakfast table, the bowl, milk, etc. right in front of him. I had not started with the 'usual' calls to make him pour the milk and eat. We were just having eye-contact, and he said: 'I don't know what to do now'. He was serious. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My assessment of the situation is this: &lt;strong&gt;He is not able to think for himself, exactly &lt;em&gt;because of&lt;/em&gt; the relentless calls of mom and dad.&lt;/strong&gt; Still he does ignore the calls. Only if they change to shouting, he might consider cooperating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is, in my opinion, worsened by that fact that both parents are present and that both make calls. It is completely unclear, who is 'responsible'. I guess my wife thinks that I am 'in charge' of the morning routine. Still does she interfere because she is present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The plan is now, obviously, to make him go through the morning routine without any calls. He is surely capable of watching the clock and remembering a simple sequence of 5 things to do. He's just not motivated. My plan is, starting from tomorrow, to tell him, that he alone is responsible for being ready in time. After being late once, he might learn to speed up earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we will certainly give this a try, I kindly ask for your opinions and support. Morning routine suggestions are very welcome, but please keep in mind, that it is also a more general issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23406" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T18:44:25.307" Title="Getting things done - balancing directives vs. autonomy (elementary school age)" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|daily-routine|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26184" CreationDate="2016-06-09T10:23:27.487" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There have been some great answers already. I'll add that I have found personally that when talking to most non parents, rounding to the next half year is easier for them to get the main idea of my child's age without diving into the details. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, my much younger coworker was thrown off when I told him my son was &quot;17 months&quot;. Instead, I almost corrected that accuracy with &quot;1 1/2&quot; and the conversation was much easier for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to use a bit of judgement to decide when this may make sense, but I've found that adjusting to my audience makes sense for me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1928" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T10:23:27.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26217" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-09T12:51:43.377" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe he's bored?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No educational system is a one-size-fits-all.  In fact, I don't think it truly fits anybody perfectly.  It is a shame a gifted child has to waste their time &lt;em&gt;perceiving&lt;/em&gt; school as the solitary path to a normal, happy, and productive life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, I always did best in school and elsewhere in life's commitments when I paired it with a productive extracurricular activity, like investing in the stock market or writing iPhone apps.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for other things for him to do.  I prefer personal projects, but other activities like sports, martial arts, or even a part-time job can help get him into the routine of pushing himself when he needs to.  Discipline in other areas will follow naturally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23409" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T12:51:43.377" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26220" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-09T15:37:40.643" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wsj.com/articles/to-stop-procrastinating-start-by-understanding-whats-really-going-on-1441043167&quot;&gt;A lot of recent studies have linked procrastination with a poor ability to deal with &quot;negative&quot; emotions and impulsiveness&lt;/a&gt;.  It's not poor planning or bad time-management; it's avoidance; it's an emotional defense mechanism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fact that this teen is gifted probably has nothing to do with it, except that he'll probably be able to &quot;get away with it&quot; and coast or slack his way through life and still do better than most.  (I say, with a great deal of personal experience, doing that very thing.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to address the procrastination issue, you need to actually address the cause of his procrastination (impulsive tendencies and/or poor ability to deal with negative emotions), rather than focusing on symptoms or academic results.  To some extent, impulsive tendencies and/or poor ability to deal with negative emotions are ubiquitous among young adults, as a simple function of how their brains are wired and their lack of general life experience, which is worth keeping in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bad news is that you can't save people from themselves, and unless he actually wants to change, he won't, and you can't force him.  You'd know him better than anyone here, so you'll have to use your insights into him as to how you might be able to motivate or incentivize him to address the root cause of his procrastination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that there are a lot of resources (many free or cheap) for dealing with this particular problem, so if you can motivate or incentivize him, it won't be difficult to help.  Also, an intellectually gifted person will generally be fairly successful even without dealing with this particular problem.  I would assert that there's nothing wrong with using your intellectual gifts to make your life easier, rather than using them to make more money or change the world or whatever else other people &lt;em&gt;think&lt;/em&gt; they would do with more brainpower.  (If that sounds like a defense of underachievement and a bit of resentment towards expectations placed on intellectually gifted people, that's because it is... probably something to keep in mind regarding however you decide to approach this teenager about the issue.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11573" LastEditorUserId="11573" LastEditDate="2016-06-09T15:42:44.473" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T15:42:44.473" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26222" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26244" CreationDate="2016-06-09T18:14:26.810" Score="12" ViewCount="3481" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 17-year-old daughter leaves her purse in the car, even at night. This is really unsafe, even for the city we live in. I wanted to teach her a lesson about the dangers of leaving valuables in a car and unfortunately chose to look through her purse so that I could say something like &quot;Imagine if someone had a hold of your wallet/money/valuable etc.&quot; The reason I said unfortunately is that because of this route I took, I ended up discovering a fake out-of-state license; and clearly my daughter isn't of legal drinking age (21 in our state).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I'm stuck in a rut. I know I shouldn't say &quot;I searched through your stuff, etc., and found this, what do you make of this...&quot; because this is a breach of trust, and I regret it, but at the same time I'm so deeply concerned that she's underage and using this &quot;license&quot; as a way to bypass legal requirements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do? How do I &quot;confront&quot;, albeit not the right word, but how do I deal with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After reading through the answers here I went for a diplomatic approach instead of trying to aggressively force the issue. She told me the license was only used to bypass the age 21 limit at some concerts which I could see making sense but she was clear she had not used any alcohol although that was my assumption initially. Overall things were cleared up smoothly and I have all of you to thank for the advice!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11539" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-13T16:45:02.080" LastActivityDate="2018-11-13T16:45:02.080" Title="Fake driver's license discovered -- how to deal with situation?" Tags="|discipline|teen|communication|alcohol|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26215" CreationDate="2016-06-09T18:27:00.777" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is easy to forget that children are people also, and need to feel like they have power over their lives. Being powerless is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; fun. By dragging his feet in the morning/night time routines, he is exercising the only power he feels he has at that time. Give him choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children also need to experience consequences. It is also easy for us parents to think we are being good parents by always doing stuff for our children, but in reality we are handicapping them. I remember hearing once about a teaching saying the most responsible children she has ever met are the inner-city kids &lt;em&gt;that actually go to school.&lt;/em&gt; They have no one to watch them and make them go, or really do &lt;em&gt;anything&lt;/em&gt; for them--they make the choices themselves. Let your child experience consequences. Show your child once or twice how to do something, and when you are sure he knows how, he is on his own to do it. For example, if he does not pour his own cereal / make his food in the morning, he is choosing to go hungry that morning at school, etc...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-06-09T18:44:25.307" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T18:44:25.307" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26224" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26222" CreationDate="2016-06-09T22:41:40.847" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;you could maybe approach her apologetically. Explain exactly what happened, let her know that you are aware she had it, but not taking any immediate action. Also let her know that you would rather her make it home safe and sound over staying out until she is sober enough to make it home. Make sure she is fully aware of the legal ramifications, and that you (and mom) will not be bailing her out or helping her get out of legal trouble in any way, shape or form. Finally, be on high alert, and when she does come home drunk, confront it then. Alternatively, if she actually calls you, give her a 'get out of jail free' pass at home, in exchange for the ID. I understand fully that this is a less than ideal scenario, but I remember what it was like at that age, and as a new parent, I would much rather the evil I know then the one I don't know about. Hope my 2 cents helps some.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL;DR- provide the information to help her make the most informed decisions possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23420" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T22:41:40.847" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26222" CreationDate="2016-06-09T23:46:38.507" Score="-6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no need to apologize or respect her boundaries she's 17, take her fake license and explain that she's committing several felonies. I'd personally punish her severely since she was complacent enough to get caught. The fact is that she was carelessly breaking the law and that could have very serious real world consequences. In addition to a good talk about the risks she's taking by exposing herself to high risk situations due to being inebriated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23421" LastActivityDate="2016-06-09T23:46:38.507" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26226" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-10T00:35:22.147" Score="8" ViewCount="665" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every morning before going to work, I walk our 4 years old son to the preschool located 15 minutes from home ; and his little brother too (in a stroller).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Every evening after work, my wife walks them back home.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Since a few weeks, our eldest son purposefully walks extremely slowly this path (saying his &quot;legs are tired&quot; for example). If we meet his classmates on the way, he will resume to &quot;usual&quot; walk, or even run with them.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to not be late for work, I tried the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wake up and leave earlier&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try to walk different paths&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put him in the stroller with his brother&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stop and ask him why he walks slowly (he replies he is tired)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to understand better his behavior.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Could it be due to a lack of sleep (he sleeps in average 8 hours at night, and has a 1-2 hour nap in the afternoon) ? A breakfast too light (juice, fruits and bread) ?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Does he want more attention ?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to hear opinions or advice, especially from people who experienced similar situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3415" LastEditorUserId="3415" LastEditDate="2016-06-10T05:36:56.517" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T15:22:44.783" Title="Purposely walking slowly to/from preschool?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|walking|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26227" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26302" CreationDate="2016-06-10T06:46:19.537" Score="5" ViewCount="1300" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a close relationship with my 3 year old child. This means that since I have told her that I hate lies and love truth so she should speak the truth with her parents at least all the time, she has started speaking the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This all started when she wrote on the wall despite being told several times in the past not to do it. When I asked about it, she lied. I had asked in a loud voice so she started crying. This time I let her cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally when she got tired of crying, I again told her to tell the truth. She complied and I immediately hugged and thanked her for telling the truth. Then I lovingly explained to her why she shouldn't write on the walls and where she should write instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then, she tells the truth the second time I ask her the question about a deed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am afraid this won't last long because even though I hug her and thank her for being truthful, the thing which she is not supposed to eat/touch gets taken away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she knows she won't be allowed to do X if she tells the truth, I think she will be reluctant to tell the truth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I prevent/deal with such situations? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. No, junk food and TV will not be given as &quot;rewards&quot; at any cost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-06-10T08:28:57.800" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T06:47:16.797" Title="How to encourage a child to speak truth about the wrong deeds she has done?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|age-appropriate|habits|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26229" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26226" CreationDate="2016-06-10T09:45:58.990" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;One of my 4 year old twins &quot;doesn't have any strength left&quot; whenever he is told to do something he doesn't want to. This will disappear the moment he's distracted by something or someone he does like, just like your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He may be feeling this physically or not, but it definitely starts in the mind. For my son, it's most often that he was deeply engaged in something (games) and he still wants to go back to it. It's not always possible to prevent this, but when I can I guide him to a gentle transition, announcing a few minutes beforehand that we'll be leaving in x minutes and that he should finish what he's doing and not start something new. It helps about 90% of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it does happen, I try to engage his interest with conversation about something he likes or letting him show off all he knows by asking questions. This has mixed success and none if he's really tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other likely cause is that there is something going on at the school that makes your son apprehensive and resist going there. Ask him, ask the teacher.&#xA;As always with children, looking for any changes in the situation at home or at school often leads to the cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastEditorUserId="21724" LastEditDate="2016-06-10T10:00:55.347" LastActivityDate="2016-06-10T10:00:55.347" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26230" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26271" CreationDate="2016-06-10T10:42:31.630" Score="3" ViewCount="537" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 10-yr-old son.&#xA;He's a fifth grader right now and I have been really worried about his attitude toward homework and everything that has to do with studying.  He constantly calls himself stupid and has no motivation for getting good grades.&#xA;He has many friends, so I have no worries in that aspect. He is half American, half Japanese. He goes to a public Japanese school. At first, I thought maybe it was because of his inability to understand the Japanese language as well as other children his age since we were living in the States until he was 3 and a half.&#xA;But, in my opinion, him being 10, it's been long enough to make up for that time now.&#xA;I try to come up with things that might motivate him, but it doesn't seem to work.&#xA;People have told me that around the time when he's 12, he will be able to cover everything that's been taught in elementary school, but I'm not completely buying it.&#xA;How can I motivate him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22140" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T07:47:59.540" Title="My son is discouraged" Tags="|behavior|discipline|education|school|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="26" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26231" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-10T14:36:58.593" Score="7" ViewCount="442" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is the situation.  My 5 1/2 year old is concerned because he does not know if his bottom is clean when he wipes himself after a BM.  He knows that sometimes his bottom needs a lot of cleaning and sometimes very little.  He does not know which is the case after any given BM.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips on how a young child can tell if his bottom is clean enough?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T22:32:47.033" Title="How a child can tell if his bottom is clean enough?" Tags="|potty-training|hygiene|cleaning|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26232" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26231" CreationDate="2016-06-10T14:57:50.783" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can you or I tell if our bottom is clean enough?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clean enough implies primarily that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The bottom will not be uncomfortable, as it sometimes is when there is some fecal matter remaining&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The bottom will not smell or leave (many) marks on the underwear&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, for the one, he has wiped enough if his bottom feels comfortable, and in general if it continues to not feel &lt;em&gt;un&lt;/em&gt;comfortable.  If he finds that he gets itchy or feels like there's &quot;something there&quot; afterwards, then he knows he didn't wipe enough and can do better next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the second, well, the way I do it is I look at the paper afterwards.  If the paper has a certain level coloration, then I know I need to wipe again, right?  I would work with him to identify that level.  And, if he's unsure, give another quick wipe with one sheet of paper - if that's clean, you know you're good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also probably worth discussing what kinds of stool will need more wiping (wetter stools, mostly, or the &quot;stickier&quot; ones in particular).  Dry stools typically just need one good wipe.  This could even be combined with a discussion of the science of poop - what different factors affect what characteristics the stool has.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He could even perform a science experiment on himself - measure his hydration, his fiber intake, fat intake, carb intake, etc., and see how the changes in those levels affects the stool and how much wiping is required!  Very appropriate for that age, and can be fun (and if nothing else, perhaps encourage him to eat better!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-06-10T14:57:50.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26233" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26210" CreationDate="2016-06-10T15:46:45.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you have a toilet seat insert or a toilet seat that attaches?  We have tried both but the attached kiddo toilet seat, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/mayfair-round-white-nextstep-child-adult-toilet-seat-with-magnet-and-whisper-close/1043735686?skuId=43735686&amp;amp;ioid=HH000032&amp;amp;mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_bath_&amp;amp;adpos=1o2&amp;amp;creative=43742627509&amp;amp;device=c&amp;amp;matchtype=&amp;amp;network=g&amp;amp;product_id=43735686&amp;amp;gclid=Cj0KEQjwyum6BRDQ-9jU4PSVxf8BEiQAu1AHqn2okyn7zXD-_UDiY6b5cFvQU2RATFXSjw2ZG0WSwrAaAgOX8P8HAQ&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;like this one&lt;/a&gt; (they sell them all over the place), is much more secure feeling and not very hard to install on one or two toilets in your home.  After a pretty short time using it, my son got comfortable enough to use the full size seat as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is also the possibility that your child's complaint about the seat is more of a distraction and there is some other reason (discomfort, difficulty, boredom, etc) which is very common in kids that age.  The most important thing is to keep an eye on them (look for cues) and keep a positive attitude about using the toilet, even though it can be immensely frustrating at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13878" LastActivityDate="2016-06-10T15:46:45.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26231" CreationDate="2016-06-10T15:53:17.893" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as the tissue paper is not clean white, it needs to be wiped again. It helps to have baby wipes (fresh wipes) that are moist and clean the area faster and with less irritation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-06-10T15:53:17.893" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26236" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-10T17:08:47.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I were the gifted kid, none of these would work. Solutions out there look like you either kind of force him to do some work(by managing his time), or just tell him how bad it is to be disorganised. First one will make him angry(and if you're not his father, this can affect your relationship with him); second one will just not work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what I would do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want him to pass the exams, try to make it clear that if he doesn't do his homework, he can't really count on you. Encourage him to ask for help if he needs to throughout the entire year, not last week or two. If he fails, this isn't a bad thing. We learn by making mistakes, and sometimes one can't learn without a few. He might say that some of these things he'll never use, but the reality is that if he wants to go forward, he &lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt; to learn them - whether he likes it or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, if he's &quot;gifted, but lazy&quot; in some area(e.g. maths), try to either encourage him to do his own research, or even find and give him some tasks to complete. Motivate him - school math can be boring, but advanced math is more interesting, and same goes for other fields. If you encourage him to learn advanced math, he will both be ahead of others, and he will (probably) understand the current material.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, if he's anything like me, he won't be learning too much of things that don't interest him anyway; he'll simply think that he doesn't need them, and he'll just do the minimum of the work. It's fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19095" LastActivityDate="2016-06-10T17:08:47.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26238" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="791" CreationDate="2016-06-10T18:39:43.830" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, you need to get this in perspective:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bullying is child abuse. Teasing is psychological abuse. An adult who behaved in this way would be arrested. Just because its coming from other children doesn't make it any less painful for the victim.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Long term abuse has a long term impact on mental health. In extreme cases it has driven children to suicide.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bullying grows on itself. If a few people abuse your child and nothing is done, this will normalize the practice for everyone else. It sounds like this is already happening. Once the cycle starts, self-help strategies are no use, because the bullies will just keep going until they break through them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not a trivial matter. Do not allow anyone to tell you that it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to speak to your child's form teacher. Write a letter outlining the story so far with as much detail as you can provide. Names and dates, and also an estimate of how frequent these incidents are. Ask for the school anti-bullying policy and work through it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting now, keep a written diary of the abuse. If necessary, ask your child to describe any incidents when they get home from school each day, and write them down. Any incident can be trivialised on its own: you need to demonstrate the volume as much as anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When meeting teachers, assume that they are concerned about the problem and want to help. Work with them, and accept any constructive actions they are willing to take. Remember that they have a lot more experience in dealing with this than you do. But be firm in insisting that this is their responsibility and they need to do something. Schedule follow-up meetings to evaluate progress and determine the next steps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child may &quot;snap&quot; and suddenly attack a tormentor. At this point you may be called into the school and be told that your child is violent and needs discipline. This is where your diary will be especially important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If at first you don't succeed, keep going. Your child has a right to be safe from abuse at school. As a last resort you can complain to the police, especially if the bullying has included violence, or is carrying on outside the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-06-10T18:39:43.830" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-10T20:45:59.637" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is he doing when he is not studying? I have a gifted teen and I find he gets trapped by computer games. Since he is an older teen, I talk with him about his daily schedule and setting a time that he will start work by each day. Routines help procrastinators a lot as it takes less effort if you have habits in place. Ideally these can be triggered by common events that occur, such as after lunch, I do my reading or for example, when I am on the phone I do my lunges. If he is a typical teen his mornings might be a bit groggy and his sleep cycle might be a bit off. I use an app called Flux on my computer to wind down the bright light at night. Maybe a study buddy or study group would help him get organized or motivated. Kids (and adults) these days are a lot more isolated and have their attention span fractured by electronic communication. Real life discussions, and physical movements help with brain organization. I've worked with Occupational Therapists and they have an arsenal of tricks, strategies like eating carrots or trampoline time can help some kids become more alert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23434" LastActivityDate="2016-06-10T20:45:59.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26222" CreationDate="2016-06-11T00:10:31.280" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you need to certainly do some confronting. P. Roe is correct in that multiple felonies are involved here (fake ID, and violating alcohol laws at a minimum, more if she doesn't have her own valid license).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, vehemently I disagree with P. Roe about not respecting your daughter, at any age, but especially now. She's old enough to a) work, b) be charged with felonies and c)drive a car (aka an object that kills &quot;about as many&quot;* people as guns do in the US). She's not incapable of responsibility or independent actions (such as committing multiple felonies, circumventing procedures, and facing the consequences of such actions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, I feel that going through her things in your first attempt of showing her &quot;that she needs to not keep valuables in her car&quot; was wrong, due to the breach of trust that you are now discovering (in fact, speaking from experience, I can say that the breach of trust would have been &lt;strong&gt;WORSE&lt;/strong&gt; had you found nothing, since there wouldn't be a possibly mitigating aspect of shame at being found out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is not to mention that you are failing to concider the fact/probability that your daughter has differing risk/reward tolerances and evaluations from you i.e. you are concerned about someone stealing her valuables in her car (or stealing her car, with the valuables in it). But she is either not as concerned as you are, and/or doesn't see the guaranteed cost of carrying her valuables back into her car as being worth the advantage if her car is stolen or broken into. You evaluation may be right, but the cost of a few hundred dollars is more than made up for by an improvement in this important life skill (and if it never happens, her risk evaluation may have been better than yours to begin with).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how to proceed going forward?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Necessary Steps:&lt;/strong&gt; Before anything else, you need to stop and think about what you are doing and why; you violated your daughter's privacy, trust, and property without a thought, and only after this bigger infraction was discovered did you see a problem with it. Think before you act (words of wisdom for pretty much every situation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Options:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;1. &quot;Covert Intellegence&quot;: Replace fake ID where you found it, (possibly continuing with the badly thought out &quot;take valuables from car to teach lesson idea&quot;), and follow up with a general discussion about alcohol. This approach is the Churchill during the bombing of Coventry: you can't reveal your source that this is a problem, so you have to act as if this is a normal, general &quot;you're getting older, so now we need to talk about things&quot; talk. PROS: No fight or direct confrontation, smaller breach of trust (none if you don't carry out the &quot;taking things from car&quot; idea), no defensiveness. CONS: Doesn't deal with the evidence you found, liable to fail, she still has the license.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Less Covert Intellegence&quot;: As option #1 in all respects, but do not replace the fake ID. PROS: She doesn't have the license. CONS: She may figure out that you took it, she can get another one.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Staged Discovery&quot;: Continue with &quot;take things from car idea&quot;, but stage the license in such a way that you &quot;discover&quot; it during your reveal. PROS: Can talk about evidence, remove license from her CONS: You are still not respecting her, will still have the conflict, she can get another one, and it depends on your acting skills.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Tackle Bigger Problems&quot;: I would wagger that your daughter isn't sneaking into bars for the sake of drinking, she's doing it a) for fun with friends b) due to peer pressure. You can help alleviate both problems. Talk to your daughter (not accusing her of this incident, but again a general conversation). You can possibly help alleviate the first issue as well, by providing an alternate activity (that THEY enjoy!). If you have a garage, maybe they could hold a party there. If you are going out of town for a weekend, or even an overnight trip, you could explicitly allow a party to be held in your home (provided nothing is broken, and it's cleaned up afterwords. This could even be a lead into a drinking conversation. &quot;Feel free to have a party when we're gone, so long as there's not drinking&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Be an Adult, Admit Mistakes (Both to yourself and to your daughter), and Have an Honest Conversation&quot;: the best option, in my opinion. Show your daughter what it means to be an adult (a skill I find as I get older that many actual adults lack). Do &lt;strong&gt;NOT&lt;/strong&gt; scream and yell, do &lt;strong&gt;NOT&lt;/strong&gt; minimize, deflect from or in any way trivialize how much you've messed up. &lt;strong&gt;Do&lt;/strong&gt; be calm. &lt;strong&gt;Do&lt;/strong&gt; mention that you love her (not as a lead in to another point of attack, as in &quot;I love you, but&quot; or &quot;Because I love you, I'm punishing you by&quot;, but as a stand alone statement. The statement is enough to stand on its own merits. In fact, I would have two conversations, completely separated, ideally one on a given day and the other on the next day. &lt;strong&gt;Do&lt;/strong&gt; include your spouce, if you feel she can stick with and follow the above advice. Realize that your ability to punish is now trivial, and talk not of punishment but avoiding punishment. Don't position yourself as the punisher; she has much bigger problems than you, namely the government. Talk(not yell) of potential consequences. Fraud and forgery convictions can block employment in many sectors such as finance, administration, computer science, education, medicine and government? What does your daughter want to do? How can this compromise her ability to do it? What about drunk driving? Underage  laws? Does she want to risk fines and jail time? Research with specific penalties in your state are possible plus here. She's nearly an adult (18), at which point any convictions would be on her permeant record, not a minor one. Acknowledge that you &lt;strong&gt;WILL&lt;/strong&gt; most probably getting emotional at this time, and remember to keep your emotions in check. Remember that she's not a little kid that you are monologging at; she's a less experienced person  MAKE SURE that you pause, and give her a chance to speak as well, and &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;LISTEN&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; to what she says.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*Whether more or less depends on the year, among other factors. I don't want to get into an argument about this, the point is the car is dangerous, and your daughter is at the point where society views she can be trusted with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19818" LastEditorUserId="19818" LastEditDate="2016-06-13T17:19:23.883" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T17:19:23.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-11T02:53:22.873" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Many of the answers seem to assume that the kid is getting to the point where he is having difficulty in school.  However, you say that his grades are still very good.  I'd suggest that another possibility is that he still finds things very easy, and procrastinates because he finds the work boring and knows he can do it at the last minute and still get by.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, see if he is ready for more advanced work, and see if you can get the school to skip him ahead in certain subjects.  Alternatively, see if you can get a teacher to let him work at his own pace, faster than the rest of the class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T02:53:22.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-11T04:35:03.380" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think I know your son's problem.  You see, he knows perfectly well that he ought to do his homework earlier, but whenever he tries, he suddenly decides it's time to watch three hours of video game speed runs on Youtube, or reorganize his email inbox, or check the refrigerator to see if there's anything new in there since the last time he checked 10 minutes ago.  That's because there's an &quot;instant gratification monkey&quot; in his brain, who wreaks havoc whenever it's time to get productive work done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can't control the instant gratification monkey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But there is one thing that scares the living heck out of the monkey -- the Panic Monster.  The Panic Monster appears whenever a deadline looms near and there are serious consequences if it's not met.  The monkey gets really scared of the Panic Monster and runs away, allowing a guy who couldn't be bothered to write the first sentence of a paper for weeks to suddenly make a great heroic effort, staying up all night to finish it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Instant Gratification Monkey and the Panic Monster are invented by blogger Tim Urban of the Wait But Why blog, as metaphors to explain how a procrastinator's mind works.  I highly recommend you and your son both read his entire series on procrastination:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son can't get rid of the instant gratification monkey; it's a part of his mind that will always be with him.  Instead, he has to learn strategies for dealing with the monkey.  The first step on this journey is self-awareness -- he needs to be aware of the ways in which his mind works which make procrastination a problem he needs to watch out for.  If he knows to frame his situation in terms of a conflict narrative where the monkey is trying to take him off course and he needs to stop it, then he has a better chance of winning the conflict because he better understands what's going on when he feels an inexplicable urge telling him that reading the complete story of every major corporate bankruptcy in the last decade is &lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt; more important right now than his math problem set -- &lt;em&gt;that's the monkey talking&lt;/em&gt;.  Some of the later blog posts in Wait But Why's series go into more detail about strategies for defeating the monkey.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds from your description of your interaction that you're being too hard on him.  I suspect that he knows that leaving papers to the last minute is unacceptable -- a family fight and lots of yelling from Mom and Dad just tells him -- at best! -- that his family doesn't understand what it's like to live with a monkey in your head.  At worst, he starts to believe that he's a disappointment, a protagonist with a tragic flaw, some kind of incompetent oaf who somehow understands the most complicated parts of his studies far better than most of his classmates, but can't do something as simple as make himself start on an assignment any earlier than absolutely necessary -- regardless of the fact that, intellectually, he totally understands that this is a really dumb way to operate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't blame him when the monkey wins -- he'll blame himself plenty.  External arguments, yelling, lectures, punishments or other pressure makes him feel even less competent to deal with the monkey, which makes the monkey stronger and harder to defeat next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, try to understand the monkey, and help design and implement plans and strategies for dealing with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Self-understanding and empathy are the key.  Recognize that, while he has talents that many of his peers lack, he also has to face obstacles that many of his peers do not.  Build up his confidence that he can understand the parts of himself that cause him to engage in self-sabotaging procrastination, then rise up and deal with the challenge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read the blog post I linked above (and its two sequels).  You'll be very glad you did.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23440" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T04:35:03.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26227" CreationDate="2016-06-11T06:41:09.857" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children will break things and break the rules from time to time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have a simple rule system in our family:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make a mistake and immediately confess (ideally with an apology):&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Reduced consequences - you get a &quot;bonus&quot; for honesty.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For small children, we used this as an occasion to emphasize the importance of being honest and to again explain the rules and why we have them. Offer an alternative if you take something away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hide / lie about a misdeed:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Double &quot;punishment&quot; or scolding.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Make very sure that the additional consequences are for being untruthful. For small children, repeat why being honest to you is so very important, older ones benefit from an occasional reminder. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are good stories that can be used in explaining why you want them to be honest, Aesop's &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boy_Who_Cried_Wolf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Boy Who Cried Wolf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; being a classic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that you should differentiate between outright lies and the phantasy stage that many children have between three and five - and around four many also start to discover the social aspect of lying. And this is part of our growing into the society. Do you really want your child to tell your mother in law what they truly think about her latest failed cake? Or would a polite &quot;thank you, I'm full&quot; be preferably in this case?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; do is keep the communication with your child open. There will be way rougher patches than with a three year old decorating the walls. Value and practise honesty &lt;em&gt;in both directions&lt;/em&gt;, don't lie to your child either. My children (older than yours) know that if they ask a straightforward question, they will get a straight answer. I am honest about uncomfortable things as well (sick pets, medical treatments) and admit my own mistakes, so they know they can trust me always.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Disclaimer: No method will guarantee 100% truthfulness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T06:41:09.857" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18459" CreationDate="2016-06-11T12:48:22.250" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a women with no pregnancy complications, any exercise done in moderate levels is considered safe during pregnancy. It is also advised not to take up any difficult exercise (especially if you are new to it) while pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Women with medical problems (like asthma, heart disease, uncontrolled type 1 diabetes), and obstetric condition (like Bleeding/Spotting, Weak Cervix) are advised not do exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Safe Exercises During Pregnancy: Most exercises are considered safe during pregnancy, as long as you do not over do it. Exercises like Swimming, Walking, Bicycling (indoor) falls under this category. Jogging and running can be done in moderation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to WebMD, the following should be avoided during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Holding your breath during any activity&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Activities where falling is likely (such as skiing and horseback riding)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contact sports such as softball, football, basketball and volleyball&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any exercise that may cause even mild abdominal trauma, including activities that include jarring motions or rapid changes in direction&#xA;Activities that require extensive jumping, hopping, skipping, or bouncing&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Deep knee bends, full sit-ups, double leg raises and straight-leg toe touches&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bouncing while stretching&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exercises that require lying on your back or right side for more than three minutes. (especially after your third month of pregnancy)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heavy exercise spurts followed by long periods of no activity&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exercise in hot, humid weather&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Scuba diving&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a pregnant woman is new to exercise, doctors generally advice to include walking in their daily routine, as it is safe to perform in any trimester.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consulting healthcare provider before starting any exercise is always better for a pregnant women and her developing baby, as he/she, considering your past medical history, provides necessary suggestions and tips for safe exercise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22197" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T12:55:37.493" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-11T18:06:10.730" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The original poster mentioned in the comments that the teenager is &quot;very much&quot; a perfectionist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a possible scenario:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The boy is happy to do a task that he can do perfectly.  But there are several reasons that he might not be able to do a task perfectly:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He might not know how to do the task perfectly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He might not have a way of judging what perfection looks like.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;There might not &lt;em&gt;be&lt;/em&gt; a perfect way to do the task.  (Essays, poetry, art, chatting with girls, and historical analysis are like this.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He might not have a way of knowing whether he is doing a sub-task perfectly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He might know (at a summary level) what perfection would be, but lacks the ability to do one or more sub-tasks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He might not be good at breaking down a task into sub-tasks.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He might not be good at &quot;listening&quot; to people to understand what they want (which often is not what they initially ask for).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;He might forget some of the details of the requested task.  (Even most smart people forget some details.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Being rushed might give him (an internal) excuse for not doing something perfectly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This analysis suggests several ways that the teenager might be able to improve:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change his goal from &quot;Do it perfectly, or not at all.&quot; (with &quot;Last-minute slap-dash rush-job&quot; as a backup plan) to &quot;Just make it better than it was before&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get the experience of &quot;Multiple passes, each just making it better than it was before&quot; resulting in a better product, sooner, than trying to make something impossibly perfect the first time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read &lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0201616416&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Extreme Programming Explained&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt; by Kent Beck.  (This is a book that teaches computer programmers -- and the companies they work for -- to adopt this philosophy.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take notes about how to do tasks that he is not sure he knows how to do.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take notes about how to judge the quality of tasks that he does not know how to evaluate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell him not to be afraid to show his ignorance by asking questions.  If he is not sure about something, then his friends probably also have doubts.  And maybe someone made a mistake, and the question might help get the mistake fixed!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He should make the first sub-tasks of any project (that is likely to give him difficulty) include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Understanding what is wanted&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Breaking the task down into sub-tasks, so that he can do each sub-task at a level of quality that satisfies him, without leaving any sub-tasks out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Budgeting time for the sub-tasks.  (Rough average times are OK -- they just need to let him see at the end of each day whether he is ahead of his estimate, or behind.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He should also practice checking his work.  For example, he should:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do &lt;a href=&quot;https://matheducators.stackexchange.com/questions/1834#1861&quot;&gt;check-by-substitutions&lt;/a&gt; at the end of each math, physics, or chemistry problem.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Build automated unit tests into his software projects.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Proofread his English papers, possibly by reading them aloud.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After writing an essay, confirm that he provided details to support his arguments.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes he will be trying, and still falling behind.  Or perhaps his checks will fail.  Encourage him to ask for help when this happens.  Perhaps there is a detail of a sub-task that he forgot, or does not know how to do.  Sometimes just asking will remind him of what he needs to do.  And sometimes you (or his teacher, or his classmates) will be able to give him helpful advice for doing that sub-task.  Occasionally the advice will be &quot;Yeah, that just takes a long time&quot;, which will help him with his time budgeting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13504" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:50:24.117" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T18:17:29.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26231" CreationDate="2016-06-11T20:08:13.573" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is currently learning to wipe himself, and we're teaching him to wipe three times and then call us (to finish as we used to do). This helps us monitor his progress and lets us dial back our efforts as time goes by.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We tell him that if his third paper is (reasonably) clean, good. If not, continue until it is (and this is where our monitoring prevents him using half a roll). We also tell him not to look at the first paper because it will obviously be used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're still trying to convince him to wipe backward instead of sideways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T20:08:13.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26251" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-11T20:26:08.657" Score="5" ViewCount="578" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids and the neighbor's kid are all in the same kindergarten group. Despite having plenty of interaction there, they seek even more contact. That's not bad in itself, of course, but it's annoying that they climb onto the top of the swing set in order to see each other over the hedge and across the street - and then they yell really loud. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It annoys us parents that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they climb so high just to see each other. (The hedge is dying and we're forced to put up a fence this year; we're contemplating making it &lt;em&gt;really high.&lt;/em&gt;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they yell so loud that the whole neighborhood can hear them. I suspect several neighbors might be annoyed by that, and personally we don't feel that's an appropriate way to communicate.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;their yelling is senseless bragging or teasing, or promising to come over despite not having asked the parents first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;they continue to disregard our commands to get down from there and stop yelling and they're upset when we lift them down onto the lawn and send them indoors.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would you handle this? Obviously the fence height isn't going to be a practical solution - we want to deal with this properly and personally. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Update:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The problem is compounded because the kids don't understand that the parents often have other plans; either family would have guests over soon, or would be leaving soon; lunchtime or dinnertime soon; etc.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Most importantly we feel that the &lt;strong&gt;neighbor kid has a bad influence&lt;/strong&gt; on our kids: spoiled single child who only plays with toy weapons, and visits also always includes mobbing of our youngest. If the interaction would be more balanced, we'd be more inclined to let them play together (in either home and either yard, location doesn't matter).  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We have a nice relationship with the adult neighbors, but evidently our opinions differ regarding good toys and acceptable play. We do let our kids visit occasionally, and vice versa, but usually we have to deal with the aftermath of the bad influence and the destructive abuse of their toys as weapons. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="109" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-07T12:41:03.697" LastActivityDate="2019-07-07T12:41:03.697" Title="Kids are yelling over the fence" Tags="|discipline|communication|friends|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26252" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26226" CreationDate="2016-06-11T21:32:20.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he is not experiencing sluggishness in any other context, it would seem unlikely that that is it. Perhaps he is being lazy, seeking attention, or just amusing himself a bit. Even more likely, he is not really looking forward to starting the school day and is, in the way that doesn't seem so nonsensical to young children, &quot;dragging his feet&quot; a little bit in getting there. That apprehension might be something that needs to be addressed (does he seem to dislike school once he's there?); you may want to ask his teacher. But more likely, it's no big deal. A kid who doesn't bound eagerly into school in the morning isn't exactly a rarity. (I myself was like that for twelve years, and I got into a top college!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it does look like the only real problem is the behavior itself, you may want to ask yourself if it really is a big enough inconvenience that you must address it at all. As with all things child, if it can be safely be considered a harmless quirk and ignored, then by all means do so. But if it's too big an inconvenience to ignore, and yours is not the style that can simply &quot;end it&quot; because you are The Law, then I might actually suggest going to the &lt;i&gt;reverse&lt;/i&gt; extreme and smothering it with attention! Make a fuss and be determined to get to the bottom of this, and follow through if needed. Does his breakfast need to be more nutritious? Does he need an earlier bedtime? Does he need a doctor's visit? Shall you speak with his teacher about his energy level in class, or if there's some trouble he's having there that's making him dread it so? You get the idea. He will quickly tire of being fussed over like this, and decide his little game was more trouble than it's worth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23449" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T21:32:20.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26253" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26251" CreationDate="2016-06-11T22:08:59.330" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids climb. And brag. And are kind of loud. It's great that yours have parents who let them be kids and do those things, because getting fresh air and exercise, getting in some unstructured, kids-only socialization, and all aspects of unstructured play, all produce indispensable psychological benefits for children as they grow up. They can be a little &quot;wild&quot; like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one place they should not be &quot;wild,&quot; of course, is in obeying their parents. So (4) is the only real problem here. (Taking limited risks is also an important, and undervalued, source of psychological health and development; swingsets are built so that climbing on them is not inordinately dangerous. A few bumps and bruises--even the prospect of a broken bone, you'll recall from your own childhood, isn't the end of the world--are part of growing up. You can't reduce more serious risk to zero--but you can, in an overreacting effort to do so, be &lt;i&gt;sure&lt;/i&gt; to stunt kids' psychological growth by depriving them of such experiences.) I would avoid, in this and all things, the &quot;requests&quot; (or &quot;negotiations&quot;), and avoid the &quot;suggestions&quot; unless you really intend to give the kid the leeway to make his own choice in the end. Especially at this early age, you need to keep things simple. ...I'd think hard, all in all, about whether you really do need to issue the &quot;order&quot; to get off the swingset. But if you do decide to fight this battle, then as always it must be swift and ruthless!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even more to the point: I don't know your particular housing setup, but it sounds like keeping the kids separated in their yards is creating this problem in the first place! Is there any reason they can't play together after school for a bit, and need to be placed so &quot;cruelly&quot; separated so they are calling out to each other plaintively like some sort of nonromantic Romeo and Juliet? Real play time is what they really want!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23449" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T22:08:59.330" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26251" CreationDate="2016-06-11T22:09:55.450" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Playing devil's advocate here:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our neighbourhood (rural Germany, so basically &quot;fence country&quot;) most fences separating the backyards have come down except for a few families, like those with a dog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children are primary and early secondary school age. They play in one yard or the next, depending on which features their current game requires. Tree house? Neighbour A has one. A soccer match? Neighbour B with the big flat lawn. Hide and seek? The neighbour C's garden is perfect... And because we live in a quiet residential area with hardly any traffic, the street is another common playground for the various vehicles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I understand that you want kids in kindergarten age safe behind a fence and you value your privacy: Have you considered establishing some kind of gate or window between your gardens? A hole in the fence or a tunnel in the hedge? This means the kids can communicate without yelling at the top of their lungs or climbing random structures.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;An even more adventurous idea could be &quot;whisper holes&quot; (think thick pipes) or tin can telephones.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T22:09:55.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26231" CreationDate="2016-06-11T22:32:47.033" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you can afford it (it's not really all that expensive), keep the kid on flushable wipes, which you can find in either the diaper or toilet paper section. It's not just kids' stuff anymore anyway! Adults are nowadays being more demanding of their hygeine, and thinking of their bottoms as something that needs to be &lt;i&gt;washed&lt;/i&gt; after every BM to be properly clean; other cultures have always done so, either with a bidet or by hand, and think it's kind of gross that we just wipe ourselves with dry paper in our dirtiest spot!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With these things, anyway, you really can teach him to wipe, and wipe thoroughly, until he sees only white; no worry about chafing or disintegrating paper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23449" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T22:32:47.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26222" CreationDate="2016-06-11T23:02:11.107" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Lots of answers coming from lots of different parenting philosophies here! But I don't really understand why it can't be easily answered according to &lt;i&gt;yours&lt;/i&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see, that is, why you should be &quot;stuck in a rut&quot; at all. Your initial intention was to confront Junior about her irresponsibility with her belongings, by searching through her purse as a &quot;burglar&quot; would have, and then waving the contents of her wallet at her while reminding her of that. &lt;i&gt;That&lt;/i&gt; was the reason &lt;i&gt;you were in her purse in the first place&lt;/i&gt;. So if, on whatever parenting style you happen to use, on whatever understanding of boundaries you have with your kid, you were comfortable with &lt;i&gt;that&lt;/i&gt; confrontation, why on Earth would you be uncomfortable with this one? Why not just tell her what you've told us about why you performed the search, which you apparently regard as &quot;just cause,&quot; and then proceed to confront her about the fruits of said search, the fake ID?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23449" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T23:02:11.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26258" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24882" CreationDate="2016-06-11T23:48:18.873" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was in a similar situation growing up. A family friend, a girl, and I a boy about the same age would play together. One day she asked me to go to the bathroom in front of her. We both did. And I think we both touched each other's genitals as well. Just for a second. It was purely curiosity. And discovery. It felt a little wrong because we were hiding but neither had bad intentions. I'm honestly not sure what's wrong with this situation. I actually think the best thing you could do is not make them feel like it was something bad. It's not common practice and shouldn't be done with strangers or people of different ages. But we spend so much time hiding our bodies from each other and then wonder why people have anxieties or why children are curious about them. Open up the conversation. Give them more than they would even want to know about it. But make sure to set the boundaries. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23453" LastActivityDate="2016-06-11T23:48:18.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24339" CreationDate="2016-06-12T00:26:55.807" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need a better plan, kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will be a bit of a harsh answer, but you definitely seem smart and mature enough to deserve one. First of all, don't waste a single further breath explaining your &quot;philosophical&quot; objections to school, why you feel it's bullshit, to your dad. No dad has the slightest bit of regard for his son's &quot;wisdom&quot; on things like that. You need him to think of you as a man, but all that does is make you look, in his eyes, like a little kid. And you citing the reasons you cite for not continuing your education makes it seem like you don't know how the world works. Adults &lt;i&gt;have&lt;/i&gt; to do plenty that is bullshit. You can fight the game after you beat it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You say in your comments, contrary to your headline, that you don't want to drop out of high school. Well, I'll give you some unexpected advice: I suggest that you &lt;i&gt;do&lt;/i&gt;. Or, rather, I suggest that you start studying, &lt;i&gt;right now&lt;/i&gt;, for your GED. Study during your free time this summer (if you're not willing to do that, then you're not serious about any of this) and you should be ready for the test very soon; it's easy as hell. Then, you won't be someone who's coming to your dad as a snot-nosed ambitionless would-be dropout kid with no direction. You're coming to him as a man who took the initiative in his life, as few kids do. You're coming to him as someone who graduated high school &lt;i&gt;early&lt;/i&gt;. A regular child prodigy!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you have your diploma in hand, you can start your work at the hospital. But first of all, I hope you &lt;i&gt;like&lt;/i&gt; healthcare, rather than just saying, oh, it's there--because it is stressful as hell. Second of all, you need to have a long-term plan that includes &lt;i&gt;advancement&lt;/i&gt;, because that is what all adults who are not losers want to have in their careers. In healthcare that will require more schooling. You might not have to be in school for four years, but you will have to be in school. For someone who doesn't want to be &quot;'certified' for a particular skill,&quot; healthcare is one of the worst choices of career field you could make. Regardless, you may want to start looking into other potential fields as well that might interest you. Some may require some education right off the bat in some form; don't shy away from them, because all non-shitty careers &lt;i&gt;eventually&lt;/i&gt; demand it. If life had to come up with a two-word motto it would be this: Acquire Skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I've gone on long enough. Make a plan, know your plan, share it with Dad, and never fool yourself for a minute into thinking you can get away from either education or bullshit in general. Good luck and welcome to adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23449" LastEditorUserId="23449" LastEditDate="2016-06-12T00:37:56.743" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T00:37:56.743" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24339" CreationDate="2016-06-12T01:02:00.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you get 95s on your tests, then presumably you get bad grades because you don't bother with the homework?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If so, you might want to reconsider your decision not to go to college.  At college, usually most of your grade is based on your tests; the homework is just there in case you think you need practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, if there are classes that are too boring, ask your dad if he can help arrange for you to take the final exam for the class and place out of it so you can go on to something more interesting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T01:02:00.110" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26261" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26222" CreationDate="2016-06-12T01:25:32.790" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I tend to agree with P Roe that since she's still your minor child, your parenting responsibilities are more important than her boundaries.  When you get to be 90 and you're living in her house, you can respect her boundaries; while she's under 18 and living in your house, it's your boundaries that count, not hers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I think you can sidestep the issue somewhat in this case.  If you found a stranger's wallet in your car, you'd look through it for ID to see who to return it to, wouldn't you?  So it's perfectly reasonable to look through anything that someone else leaves in your car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just say, &quot;I found your purse in the car, and in the process of retrieving it I couldn't help but notice it had a fake ID in it.&quot;  Then explain why this is such a bad idea, allow her to explain, and return the purse to her without the ID.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-06-12T04:51:28.047" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T04:51:28.047" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26262" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-12T05:14:38.280" Score="3" ViewCount="469" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner's 4 year old daughter lives with us. I look after her more than my partner. She is generally well behaved, polite little girl and we have lots of fun. As soon as Daddy comes home she turns into this demanding whiny little brat. I can not stand it! I think it is because Daddy is much softer than I am so she knows she can be more demanding and play him up. Is this learned behavior? Why is she so well behaved for me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23445" LastEditorUserId="17314" LastEditDate="2016-08-22T09:04:20.487" LastActivityDate="2016-08-22T09:04:20.487" Title="Acting up for Daddy" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-12T18:41:02.290" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Tl/Dr:&lt;/strong&gt; The solution is best found in areas far away from the homework, like sports and martial arts.  In those parts of life, your girlfriend's son may be able to find the opportunity to build the skills you want him to apply towards homework.  Please forgive the length of the prose.  Writing clearly is a skill I'm trying to develop, and I don't want to rush the content and lose the message.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem you describe is called a Hard Problem™.  It's especially hard for &quot;gifted&quot; individuals.  I, like many others who have answered this question, was considered a &quot;gifted student,&quot; and I've spent many years fighting to solve this problem for myself.  So, I guess in that sense, I should say &quot;I hope it's a Hard Problem™, because I'm having to spend an awful lot of effort at it!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do believe the only valid answer is to help your girlfriend's son find his own purpose in the world.  That's not to say that such a statement is easy to do, but hear me out.  Hopefully I can explain myself well enough that a lightbulb will go off in your own head, so you can solve the problem your own way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;School has a lot of measurements in it; indeed much of modern life is measured.  We get grades on homework, we get grades on exams, we do placement exams to get into college.  We are told what time to arrive at work, how much our time is worth to our employer in dollars per hour.  We measure a lot, and that can be a good thing.  &lt;strong&gt;Measurement is a fundamental step in the refinement process we teach in Western civilization.&lt;/strong&gt;  You measure what you did, compare that to what you expected to do, and then adjust your behavior accordingly.  It's called a &quot;feedback loop,&quot; and it is essential for the way we control things everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, not all measurements are meaningful; not all measurements add value.  Consider the case which I'm certain we've all faced: We have scored a 98, 88, 92, and a 93 on previous exams, and we are about to take one last exam.  We know that the grading system is only 5 letters and the best we can get, an &quot;A,&quot; is given for any score 90 or higher.  Thus, we caluclate &quot;what is the lowest score I can get on this exam, and still get an A for the course.&quot;  Anyone &quot;gifted&quot; can quickly determine they only need a 79 on the final test.  &lt;em&gt;Sure, they can get a higher score, but no outside entity is going to actually recognize the difference between a 79 and any higher score.&lt;/em&gt;  And thus, if they have no internal reason to go any further, they slack off.  Why waste precious energy trying for a 95 on the test?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe every student does this at least some time in their life, but for gifted students it is more of a problem.  If you're doing so well that you can't meaningfully measure the difference between your actual results and your expected results, how can you improve?  My parents found the obvious approach: aggregation.  This is a well trod approach in science, where you take multiple samples and average them to get more fidelity in your response.  They said &quot;You are only allowed 2 B's on your report card.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And thus, as a brilliant little gifted student, I did the only thing I could do: I &quot;allocated&quot; those B's to the courses I expected to do worst in, and reset the game.  once again, I could calculate the least effort required to achieve the goal.  &lt;strong&gt;Strange how good us &quot;gifted&quot; people are at not doing too much work!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I empathize with my parents, as I do you.  This creates a pattern in the &quot;gifted&quot; student that is terribly hard to fix.  You see, the other solution that is typically used is to crank up the difficulty.  This can't be done across the board.  I was horrid at Art.  Still am, though I do try to teach myself that I can do art every chance I get (no, you cannot see the results.  Nobody can see the results of that venture... ever.)  It has to be done selectively.  And herein lies the problem.  It is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; hard for others to really understand what things are easy for a gifted student and what things hard hard.  &lt;strong&gt;The line drawn between easy and hard is often not drawn in the same place for a &quot;gifted&quot; person as it is for others.&lt;/strong&gt;  Indeed, one of my personal theories on what makes someone &quot;gifted&quot; is that what they find easy is so different from normal people's &quot;easy&quot; that they seem brilliant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me, I was brilliant in Math. I regularly went well beyond my grade level in mathematics.  Nothing was hard.  I cackled maniacally when I learned Algebra and could solve all sorts of problems that had bugged me before.  I smiled sweetly at Calculus's subtle integrals and derivatives.  Linear Algebra was my B--.... no, I wont finish that sentence in polite company.  Let's just say that I'm a programmer now, and linear algebra is the ground upon which I trod to solve problems.  When my parents needed to push me, harder, to try to get more measurable data, they'd push me in math, because they knew I could take it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then came Differential Equations.  Its just another math right?  I should excel right?  Think again.  Something about how it was taught was utterly alien to me.  Nothing makes sense about it.  I hated it, and I became the poster child for exactly what you fear for your girlfriend's son.  Rather than buckling down and studying hard, I reacted defensively.  People seemed to think I should be having no trouble at all with this, so I was pushed to &quot;do better&quot; at Differential Equations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I mentioned earlier that I think what makes &quot;gifted&quot; people gifted is that the line between easy and hard is different for them.  Thus, things that are hard for most people are easy for them.  Well, I do believe the opposite is true as well.  &lt;strong&gt;Some things that are easy for other people can be &lt;em&gt;terribly&lt;/em&gt; hard for a &quot;gifted&quot; person.  People don't understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; it could ever be so difficult for us, because we're &quot;so smart&quot; and it's &quot;so easy.&quot;&lt;/strong&gt;  So we learn from a very early age to compensate.  I can't draw a face to save my life (My attempts at drawing faces are among the &quot;artworks&quot; I've done that will never see the light of day).  But I can tell you, geometrically, why we have vanishing points in our paintings.  Do you understand the subtle concepts of white balancing in photography that lead &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_dress_(viral_phenomenon)&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;the dress&lt;/a&gt; to generate such confusion?  Did you know that the subtle overlay of opposing colors like blue and yellow with comparable luminosity that gave movement to the impressionist paintings like van Gogh's &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Starry_Night&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Starry Night&lt;/a&gt;?  Oh you did know that? Excellent!  Did you also know that the reason that effect works is that the brain processes brightness and contrast several stages before considering color (an evolutionary trait for survival in the Savannah), and it is the cognitive dissonance between two pigments with the same brightness and different color that yields that feeling of movement?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No?  You didn't know that?  Look, I know not only what you do, but &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; you do it.  Clearly you have nothing to teach me.  In fact I have something to teach you!  Now you learn Art your way, and I'll learn it mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Easy, right?  Of course it's easy.  All I did was use what I find easy to bludgeon what you find hard into the ground and make myself feel superior.  This argument should sound familiar, if you are close to a &quot;gifted&quot; student.  I'm certain its quite frustrating.  My apologies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, going back to the one Math course I ever had trouble with, the one that makes me a posterchild for your fears for your girlfriend's son, I hated Differential Equations.  And so, I convinced myself, and everyone around me, that Differential Equations are useless.  Nobody would ever use them.  You know Bessel functions?  They show up in differential equations on circular boundaries.  Friedrich Bessel got his name on them for not solving them!  C'mon, what kind of serious mathematical field is it where you can get your name on a function you didn't even solve!  And so, I didn't really &quot;learn&quot; differential equations.  I got the B I needed to continue on, and forgot everything I needed to learn... until the next semester.  I was an Electrical Engineering student at the time.  Did you know that &lt;em&gt;every&lt;/em&gt; single &lt;em&gt;{bleeping}&lt;/em&gt; thing you have to learn as an Electrical Engineering student in the last two years derives from Differential Equations?  Well guess what I know now.  Let's just say I graduated successfully.  Technically, I even still made honors.  I did good, right?  Now I can go on to be a programmer, and never use those differential equations again!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Did you know many programmers spend a lot of time programming up numeric solutions to differential equations?  Gosh I wish I knew that back then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So back to your son.  What can we do?  &lt;strong&gt;If nobody around us can understand what we find difficult and what we find easy, we are obliged to learn to do it ourselves, alone.&lt;/strong&gt;  We develop methods of quickly measuring whether a task is easy, permitting procrastination, or hard, which means it's time to dodge the task because &quot;nobody can do it.&quot;  Those measurements start to take a foreground in our life.  If I'm a procrastinator, doing things ahead of time is hard.  Simply being smart enough to get away with doing it late is easy.  I can measure that very easily by monitoring how I go about the tasks and confirming my own bias: I work better at the 11th hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, so that was a lot of text.  All of it focused on showing how important it is to be able to make meaningful measurements, and showing what goes wrong when you can't.  It also focused on how gifted people may find different things easy or hard along lines you may not be able to predict.  Thus, while it may seem easy for you to measure the value of not procrastinating, it may be &lt;em&gt;exceedingly&lt;/em&gt; hard for him.  &lt;strong&gt;Sure, you can teach him not to procrastinate, but the real lesson to be had is how to teach these things to himself.&lt;/strong&gt;  And for that, we need to take a detour, away from measurable things into the unmeasurable world.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The vast majority of our sensory input goes unmeasured, consciously.  If you had to actually measure the sincerity of every smile you get as you walk down the street, your mind would go mad.  Much of what life &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; be is fluid.  You may be able to develop an algorithm to determine the sincerity of a smile, but it would require far too much computational power to use as you walk down the street.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider how we walk.  Using the same &quot;I know what you do better than you know yourself&quot; style argument from above, did you know that a lot of your walking gait occurs before signals reach your brain?  If you are walking, and bump your right hand on a table, your left leg will have already adjusted its gait before the signals have even reached the brain stem.  If you had to measure how hard you hit the table, and react to it consciously, in a feedback loop, you'd fall.  The feedback loop actually happens at a much lower level, below that which we can consciously measure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are activities we do which exercise this ability to operate without fully understanding what we are measuring.  Sports require you to be moving with such ferocity that there is no time to measure.  They may be a good place for your girlfriend's son to look for &quot;the next thing.&quot;  My personal favorite place to look is Martial Arts, where you must move with such control and precision that you literally cannot measure everything that matters.  You must feel all of those little details that can't be measured on their own, and integrate them into a way to view the world that lets you grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you can do this yourself.  Sports and Martial Arts are not magical things which turn procrastinators into upstanding individuals.  They're merely places where you will find teachers who have already learned the subtle art of teaching these unmeasurable things.  You can do it too, just with conversation alone.  All you need to do is ensure that he has &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; influence over where the conversation is going, and you have &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; influence over where the conversation is going.  If he ever seeks to dominate it, taking away your influence, you find some subtle point in the middle of his argument where you have influence, and make it important.  If you ever find that you are dominating, look for a way to help him find things to push back with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds easy right?  Sure.. I've been working on it for years, and expect to still be working on it when I die.  There's a reason I like to defer to the Martial Arts teachers!  They have entire schools of thought dedicated to how to teach this way of thinking about the unmeasruable unknowns.  &lt;strong&gt;However, if you want to do it yourself, a general geometric argument I have found effective is to always nudge the conversation at right angles to the direction he is driving at, rather than directly opposing him.&lt;/strong&gt;  If you do that continually, you can drive the argument into a circle, but typically the other person will tire first, and permit you to start driving the argument for a while, and let him learn to push at right angles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, in the end, what you will teach him is far more valuable than how to not procrastinate.  You'll teach him how to explore things in places he sees no immediate value in.  You'll give him the set of skills to dive into such &quot;valueless&quot; spaces without wasting his time or energy (which he values greatly).  Then, one day, he might decide to explore the idea of not-procrastinating, on his own.  He doesn't see any benefit in doing things in advance, but he's learned techniques to explore such an idea without being wasteful.  Lo and behold, he may discover that there is value in it that he never saw before!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if it fails?  Well, it could fail.  I quite literally spent 30 years trying to learn the simple fact that it is worth learning how to do this.  I'll keep learning how to do this until I die.  However, all is not lost.  Even if you cannot help him, all you &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; need to do is simply do no harm to him.  He can serve as a sharpening stone for you to hone this skill yourself, and we are blessed to have such individuals in our lives.  And, frankly, I've never met someone so stubborn that they can't learn from this approach, including myself!  It can just take time, and so long as you feel you are becoming a better person through the process of trying to teach him, you can really take all the time you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T18:41:02.290" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26185" CreationDate="2016-06-12T19:13:37.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Find something they want to do, which will challenge them.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Something that will require planning, etc. to be successful at.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you find something s/he wants to do that has lots of challenging levels so that they can seek their own level and have a more challenging level to work on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games work best for this (it's a primary principle of &quot;engagement&quot; or &quot;fun&quot; in game design that it have Tuned Difficulty Levels (so that it's easy to make it just a little (or a lot) challenging).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW, I did this with my daughters and learning to use Flint &amp;amp; Steel to start a fire. They learned that preparation is key. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get comfortable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get your kindling all ready&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Practice striking the flint in a comfortable position.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you're good at it, then strike into the tinder.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions:&#xA;1. Flint &amp;amp; Steel (who doesn't like starting fires??)&#xA;2. Challenging Video game&#xA;3. Some physical project where you have to read the directions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The KEY is something &lt;strong&gt;they want&lt;/strong&gt; to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1602" LastActivityDate="2016-06-12T19:13:37.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26267" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6652" CreationDate="2016-06-13T01:16:50.850" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;To wait until the banana has &quot;black dots&quot; throughout the surface of its peel, the fruit is already over-ripe and tastes like something you might have dug out of your composting bin!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I find as an adult that I can consume bananas in various stages of ripeness as well as several medications that cause constipation, and wash it all down with a few healthy gulps of Diet Coke (a diuretic) provided that I supplement these dehydrating and constipating substances with one basic, easily accessible food... dates. I eat a couple of fresh cooking dates (available in the bulk section of my local supermarket) every day and my once chronic constipation is a thing of the past! Ergo, let your kids eat bananas the way they like them and eat the foods they enjoy without restriction based on constipation-related concerns as long as their diet is regularly supplemented with dates and they're drinking plenty of water throughout the course of the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23458" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-06-13T09:53:04.167" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T09:53:04.167" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24309" CreationDate="2016-06-13T06:34:19.730" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is something called &quot;non violent communication&quot; (not sure about the translation).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IF the other person is disposed to hear what you have to say, it's really useful as it prevent anger to set in. Basically, you talk about how you feel and not about what the person in front of you do &quot;wrong&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I would prefer it if you stopped smoking inside.&quot; Is better than &quot;Can you stop smoking inside ? It's bad for me !&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other point is to sugar coat what you have to say : put the uncomfortable points between two compliments :&#xA;I like the time we are pending together, but I'd like it best if you weren't smoking inside. I would be even nicer !&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give your interlocutor a way out and different choice to solve the problem : &quot;Maybe you could smoke outside, or in the kitchen, with the windows open. Have you tried e-smoke ?&quot; (maybe even giving one of those as a birth day present)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid harsh words and finger pointing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T06:34:19.730" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26227" CreationDate="2016-06-13T06:42:55.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The right course of action really depends on the child. Each child has a different way they learn. There's no hard and fast rule that you can apply, but one thing is for sure: don't let your kid get away with lying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my own personal experience, the fear of being punished for lying just led to me lying even more (even though I wasn't really punished that much for it). I learned to lie better and actually managed to get away with several lies. Punishing lies actually encourages more lying if the new lies told are better at deceiving. However, at some point in time, I got fed up with lying and changed my ways, talked to my parents. My parents were receiving and didn't immediately punish me. They were accepting and understood that the guilt that comes with deceiving is already punishment enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend trying the following, but be open to changing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child makes a mistake, but confesses, reward the fact that she was upfront and honest. Make it clear that that's what you are rewarding. The mistake needs to be fixed, but don't punish the child unnaturally. For instance, if the child wrote on the wall with crayons, you could have the child clean up (age dependent) with you &quot;helping&quot; (aka doing most of the work).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child makes a mistake, and lies about it, but will confess after pressuring, don't exactly punish them. Explain why it is important to tell the truth, perhaps tell them what reward they could have had if they told the truth. Still have the child help fix the mistake, but make sure the child knows that you are accepting her and that you love her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the child makes a mistake, and lies about it, and relentlessly lies about it, first make sure that she's actually lying. It could be that she really didn't do it. If not, I'm not sure what to say. Punishment would be justified.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, while some children learn well with authoritarian parenting and punishments, I feel that it is often better to &lt;em&gt;reward&lt;/em&gt; good behaviour rather than &lt;em&gt;punish&lt;/em&gt; bad behaviour. Focus on what is good and what can be done better, rather than what is bad and what they're doing wrong. You want your child to come to you and talk; no matter what wrongs she's done, no matter how far she's gone, she should feel like she can come and talk to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be hard to come up with a reasonable reward. It makes sense to not want to reward your kids with candy or TV. There are many ideas out there for how to reward your child. You could use a point based system where after your child reaches so many points (could be represented by stickers or tokens of some sort), the child can choose some prize, such as a toy or something. But keep in mind that whatever you do, the child has to feel like something is happening. If it takes 100 times before she can get a toy, she's going to feel like she'll never make it. Make sure that whatever it is, it is not too minuscule as to make her ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9221" LastEditorUserId="9221" LastEditDate="2016-06-15T05:34:54.937" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T05:34:54.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26230" CreationDate="2016-06-13T07:47:59.540" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not knowing your son I can only speculate, but the whole description sorta hits home with me, so here's my stab into the dark and advice:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's probably incredibly bored by school. I know second hand that Japanese schools don't have particularly inventive teaching methods, and he's probably bored by sitting and listening all day to a teacher who may not be very interesting talk about topics he doesn't have any particular interest in. It can bore the crap out of anyone, and nobody wants to have anything to do with boring topics when there are alternatives (friends and games).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fundamentally the things being taught in school &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; fascinating, the problem is that the presentation can often obscure that fact and that often no basis is being taught for &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; the subject is actually quite interesting. Also the fact that all subjects taught in school are fundamentally interconnected is often missed in my experience. So your son may be wondering what he's supposed to do with this useless knowledge he's supposed to retain and/or why it might be interesting to anyone at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To help him there, you can try to fill in the gaps between the theoretical world of school, practical daily life and the real world. Should he suddenly develop an interest in astronomy for example, he'll gobble up physics, maths and other related subjects automatically, because he can suddenly see how they help him understand a topic he cares about. Or an interest in war machinery will feed an interest in history. And on and on it goes. Help him find something to connect the dots. A new hobby could be it, but perhaps he also needs more exposure to the real world in the form of travel, a job, practical responsibilities or something of that sort. Whatever is practically available to you and sticks with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9237" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T07:47:59.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26272" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26226" CreationDate="2016-06-13T10:29:44.090" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Find something that he really likes to do and that you can do at the school's gate while you are waiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make it clear that the sooner you arrive, the more time he will have for it. You'll probably have to leave home a few minutes earlier than you would otherwise need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to stress the fact that if you arrive late he won't have time for it, but that it's not a punishment, just a fact of life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6504" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T10:29:44.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26273" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-13T12:14:53.380" Score="0" ViewCount="970" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter has been going to daycare, 3 days a week, for a year now, but she is afraid of other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are told she doesn't interact much with other kids, as she prefers the company of the adults who work there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she is with us, anytime a kid comes to play with her, she either freezes or ignores the kid and runs the other way. Even if it's a kid she knows from daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, at home, she'll talk about them cheerfully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is the fact that we don't talk to her in the language of the country she is being raised in a factor ? (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/23898/raising-a-tri-lingual-child&quot;&gt;see this question ; we chose not to, but we can&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to help her ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7280" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2018-05-16T12:05:38.960" Title="2.5 year old afraid of other kids" Tags="|toddler|anxiety|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26274" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-13T14:31:03.473" Score="6" ViewCount="1489" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I'm asking this for someone else, so I can sound smart and/or maybe get him using stackexchange more, I don't have a teenager quite yet&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've got a teenage son who has no interest in doing much more than playing video games and texting his friends when he's at my house every other weekend.  I'd like him to do something productive with his time, but we live in a smallish town and opportunity for summer employment is limited (if not already taken).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is 17, doesn't have a car or a license (no interest in learning, gets rides from friends) so he can't get a job in a nearby city and it seems like there's nothing that I can take away from him to motivate him (because he'd get it from his mom anyway).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, what can I do to help him create a desire to not be lazy this summer?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2871" LastEditorUserId="2871" LastEditDate="2016-06-13T18:38:10.250" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T14:37:53.057" Title="How to get my teenage son out of the house in the summer?" Tags="|teen|jobs|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26275" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26226" CreationDate="2016-06-13T15:22:44.783" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a few suggestions, and from how his behaviour is described when he sees his friends, there isn't an issue at school.  It seems like he just doesn't want to walk, but instead of getting it done he wants to resist the activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bribery rarely fails&lt;/strong&gt;;  Children are usually very happy with even the simplest of rewards and little/often is the key.  I can heartily recommend the use of &lt;strong&gt;stickers&lt;/strong&gt; (you can buy sheets of hundreds cheaply) or an ink-stamper (which is something a nursery we use uses) to stamp their hand/wrist.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ink-stamp takes a little while to wash off, but they won't lose it.  Of course, they only get the reward if they get there in time.  Use a phone or kitchen-timer and if you beat it then they get a stamp/sticker if they don't then no sticker but they can try again next time.  If you need to amp things up a bit then keeping a reward-card, so say every 10 stickers gets them something (again, it only has to be small.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It reinforces it more effectively if they have someone they can show the stamp/stickers to at the other end (like a teacher or someone who will be primed to ask about them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;Tiredness&quot; can be boredom&lt;/strong&gt;; 15 minutes is a looooong time when you're four and you're 'just walking', this would be supported when you notice when they meet their friends they're full of energy.  A distraction can be the way to resolve it, games of &lt;em&gt;spot-the-...&lt;/em&gt; or &lt;em&gt;count-the-...&lt;/em&gt; or races (to the next lamp-post or some other nearby landmark.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Failing that, the wheel has been invented&lt;/strong&gt;; you have various motive options unless you're going through heavy terrain, you can add a buggy-board, put them on a bike (which you can then pull if they can't keep up) or a push-along scooter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T15:22:44.783" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26277" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18222" CreationDate="2016-06-13T20:59:09.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I accept and agree with all the answers and comments here, that you can't make a straight line and set one rule for all kids all over the world, I wanted to add a photo recently found on the back of one of puzzle sets, by daughter got:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/oBqOM.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/oBqOM.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's just a mere suggestion (that must be always adjusted to each and every kid) and I don't know if there is any scientific credit behind, but since it comes from the actual producer of puzzles, then I think, that we can consider it as just some kind of suggestion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11179" LastActivityDate="2016-06-13T20:59:09.270" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26281" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26289" CreationDate="2016-06-14T21:40:34.337" Score="9" ViewCount="3640" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 37 years old male, married with kids (5,3,1). My parents are from the Indian subcontinent but I have lived in the US for most of my life. I have always been very close with my mom, ever after marriage I call her every day and visit her at least twice a month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is a great mom but her personality is she has always been a control freak and very frugal. I recently told her that I am planning to buy a new car since my current one is 8 years old and has 100k miles on it. But she said it would be a waste of money and that I should save for my family and my kids. She said since my car is still running fine I should be patient with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know in the culture she is from, parents have much more control over their children. I don't think I can ever I convince her that things are different here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I buy the car against her wishes and risk damaging my relationship with her since she was adamant on her position, or should I keep trying to get her blessings or should just listen to her and forget the car?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;UPDATE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks to everyone who answered and commented. Yes, the question is not really about should I buy the car. Although I can buy it without taking a loan, that money might be better spent saving for a home or my kids college or retirement or a rainy day (as people here have advised). It is somewhat of an &quot;impulse buy&quot; because I like picturing myself in that new car. My wife already has a minivan which is relatively new so the kids are fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question is really about cultural clash in relationships. As people here have said, I am in &quot;independent human being&quot; and I don't need to listen to my mother about my financial decisions. But that is not how she sees it, she thinks because she is my mother she still has the right to tell me what to do (including how I spend my money). So the question is how can I live an independent life and still be on good terms with her when she has such a way of thinking (which I think comes partly from her personality as a strong mom and control freak, and partly from the part of the world she comes from).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastEditorUserId="13209" LastEditDate="2016-06-15T13:44:01.410" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T23:06:49.617" Title="Mother won't let me buy a new car (cultural clash in parent-child relationships)" Tags="|parents|relationships|money|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26282" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26281" CreationDate="2016-06-14T22:32:37.067" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say to first pretend she is not your mother, but rather a friend who has 20-30 more years experience in life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think about what she is saying and run the numbers. Are you going to have to get a loan for the car? How much money would you waste in interest by getting a loan? How much would you save by waiting a few years, saving up what the monthly payments WOULD have been (into an account), and then paying cash for a decent car. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you make enough to pay cash already? If so, what are your priorities? Is a car a priority vs something else like a house or a financial portfolio. Are you just impulse buying?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After you think all of those things through and come to a decision, remember again that she is your Mom and weigh the decision again with that in mind. Her point is that your car is running fine. If you can set $$ aside each month with a specific car in mind and wait to purchase it until your current car bites the dust, I have a feeling both her and you will be much more happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastActivityDate="2016-06-14T22:32:37.067" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26251" CreationDate="2016-06-15T12:07:45.230" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could buy them a cheap pair of toy walkie-talkies so that they can talk to each other whenever they like without climbing and yelling. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you might find that they still want to climb and yell because they see that as the fun part. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T12:07:45.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20827" CreationDate="2016-06-15T12:20:23.680" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ouch. You're reminding me of long nights with our oldest when she was an infant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What worked well for us - or at least, it helped - was wearing her in a sling for large amounts of time each day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used a close-to-the-body cuddly fabric sling where the baby faces the parent (&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; a rigid structured sling where the baby faces 'outwards'), so you can wrap her up close to you and walk around with her and she can feel held/enclosed and rocked and warm, and ideally she can even hear your heartbeat - a bit like being back in the womb. At the same time it keeps her upright, which also helps the colic. So this all helps her get off to sleep, which is good for both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See: &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babywearing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Babywearing&lt;/a&gt; - the Dr Sears books are good on this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as reading is concerned: I wouldn't worry. She's very young yet and she's learning language by hearing adult conversation as well as by what's directly said to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T12:20:23.680" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26287" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="212" CreationDate="2016-06-15T13:52:57.860" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Easy technical solution:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make &quot;the picker&quot; wear these: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.rhinix.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.rhinix.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask me later about effects on the long run, when he stops wearing them ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23472" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T13:52:57.860" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26227" CreationDate="2016-06-15T14:49:25.583" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, don't treat truth telling as a special event, ie. something that deserves rewards beyond a simple &quot;thank you for being honest&quot;.  Telling the truth should be normal, expected behavior.  If truth telling becomes something that is motivated by rewards, it will only last as long as the rewards do or as long as the rewards are sufficient motivators.  (Just as an example, say the reward for telling the truth is a hug.  Now your child has to weigh their desire to get a hug vs. the chance of not getting in trouble.  Depending on what they were trying to get out of, they might forgo the hug because it might not be worth the trouble they would get in.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, treat lying as it's own &quot;crime&quot;.  If punishment is involved for something (drawing on the wall), make it clear that there is a punishment for that and a punishment for lying.  What the punishment for lying is depends on you and your child.  For older children, the punishment might be something like doubling the punishment for what they were trying to cover up (ie. if they broke a rule they get grounded for a week, if they lie about it, now its a week for breaking the rule and a week for lying).  For younger children who won't connect longer punishments back to the original lie, it may be something less dependent on the crime (ie. draw on the walls means you have to help clean it up, lie about it means you take a time-out then help clean up).  This is something you will have to adapt to your child based on their age and abilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, encourage your children to tell the truth, both by talking to them and by your example.  Telling your children that the truth is always better will help, but showing it will be even better.  Own up to your own mistakes.  Share stories of when telling the truth made things better for you.  When they tell you the truth, acknowledge that and take it into consideration when they've done something wrong.  They will learn just as much if not more from your actions as your words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember this isn't going to be something that will get solved overnight.  You will have to reinforce this many, many times.  Remind them that they will be in better shape for telling the truth.  And make sure to show them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T14:49:25.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26289" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26281" CreationDate="2016-06-15T15:03:43.197" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Communicating with and retaining a good relationship with your mother is important to you, so it's important that when a disagreement comes up, you might consider the possibilities behind your mother's objections when addressing them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents grew up during the Great Depression, so that was the background for many of their attitudes towards money; since I did not, mine were different than theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given your financial independence (as you've said, you don't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to follow your mother's advice), her advice is important because of your relationship with her, so looking at why she feels this way - beyond the stated reasons - might be of benefit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As she is financially dependent on you now and is unlikely ever to be independent, it's possible that when she sees a major purchase being made, she's actually worried about her own future financial security. Expressing that fear and dependence directly is not comfortable for anyone, though, so maybe it's taking this form.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this is the case, and especially because her pressuring you financially has not been frequent, reassuring your mother that this purchase is very well within your means and doesn't threaten your (or implicitly her) financial security &lt;em&gt;in any way&lt;/em&gt; may be the way to allow her to let go of trying to talk you out of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;[S]he thinks because she is my mother she still has the right to tell me what to do (including how I spend my money). So the question is how can I live an independent life and still be on good terms with her when she has such a way of thinking (which I think comes partly from her personality as a strong mom and control freak, and partly from the part of the world she comes from).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's deeper than her own financial fears, then you have a choice to make: to give in to her pressure for the sake of her feeling respected and obeyed, or to start setting up new boundaries with her where you make your own decisions financially but you continue to show respect for her in ways that are healthier for you (and possibly both of you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How you and your wife spend should ideally be your own decisions, but life is rarely ideal. It is clear that you love and respect your mother. If in your culture &lt;em&gt;obedience&lt;/em&gt; is an integral part of respect, this will be difficult for you. Since I don't know the culture, the best I can do is to offer this: continue to show your respect in all the ways that do not involve blind obedience. When you do obey her, let her know that you're doing it because you respect her opinion (but that obedience is different from respect.) When she objects to something and you disagree, remind her that you do respect her, and point out the ways you show it, and do what you believe is best for you (and perhaps all of you by extension?) It may not be enough for her, but that will be hers to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's your choice, and it sounds like it might be a challenge. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-06-15T17:06:19.467" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T17:06:19.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26290" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2898" CreationDate="2016-06-15T16:35:53.100" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's possible that your daughter is craving the type of undivided attention that is often given to a baby (being held, nursed, cuddled).  This might be especially true if there is a new baby in your life that you have spent some time with, but could still be true even if there isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest indulging her when she does this.  If she starts acting like a baby, pick her up, hold her like a baby and rock her or coo at her.  Tell her how much you love &quot;your little baby.&quot;  If she actively resists, then my theory is probably wrong, but if she seems to enjoy it, then that's probably what she needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, I wouldn't be concerned about it.  Although it's annoying to you, there's no harm in it and she will eventually learn to act her age.  But I suspect that actively discouraging the behaviour will probably make it last longer, especially if she is a strong-willed child, so indulging or ignoring it are probably better options.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T16:35:53.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26291" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26292" CreationDate="2016-06-15T17:10:28.100" Score="55" ViewCount="16694" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Background&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I recently moved into a town-house apartment in a large complex. We have a Husky pup that my wife walks twice a day (she's a stay-at-home) and the dog attracts lots of attention from the neighborhood kids. One of those kids is a 13-year-old girl (we'll call her &quot;Angela&quot;) who has a rather unfortunate history. She's lost both her parents and now lives with her disabled grandparents who are, according to Angela, frequently ill and struggling with money. Angela herself appears to have many psychological issues that sound like, without getting too far into the reasoning, either bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. For what it's worth she's always very sweet to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Setup&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First off, my wife and I have no kids and no experience raising them, and we're in our late 20s, younger than any other apartment tenants in the community. Angela took a shine to our Husky and subsequently became friends with us. It started out just with her running outside to greet us when walking the dog, chatting for ten or fifteen minutes and then parting ways. When we found out her grandparents were sick and having trouble putting food on the table we even offered to make meals for her, which she always declines.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Problem&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Angela's comfort level with us has grown to the point where we find her knocking on or waiting outside our door multiple times a day to play with the dog, talk about friends, etc. to the point of being disruptive and actually ignoring her other friends. We've invited her in a couple times (with permission) to play games or watch movies, and tried to set expectations on only being available to do that on certain days/times, but still every day she's there waiting on the doorstep and one of us has to politely tell her we're busy and she has to come back another time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With all that in mind, how can we make it clear to this girl she can't just show up any time and that she needs to spend most of her time with her friends? We like the fact that she feels she can open up to us about her problems and we want to help, but we know it's not healthy for her to start spending all her time with us instead of her friends, and we also can't sustain the amount of time she wants from us. My wife has tried to make it clear to her that just because she's home doesn't mean she's free to play, and she's also concerned other parents might start to think we're up to no good if Angela's other friends start telling them she's constantly ignoring them to hang out with us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt; For those interested, we've engaged directly with her guardians and learned a lot from them about her situation. She's actually getting psychiatric help (despite what she told us) and definitely seems to have some beginning symptoms of BPD due to childhood trauma/neglect. My wife has a strong desire to help, so we're trying to come up with a plan (with the guardians) to do so in a safe and constructive manner. As a side note, it's hard to pick a single &quot;right&quot; answer to this because the solution seems to be from parts and pieces of several of them, but I'll ponder it a bit further before accepting one. In the meantime further suggestions are always welcome. Thanks for everyone's input.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23475" LastEditorUserId="23475" LastEditDate="2016-06-20T15:29:25.080" LastActivityDate="2016-12-13T17:45:33.460" Title="Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us" Tags="|pre-teen|friends|attachment|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-15T19:16:01.623" Score="59" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't make anything clear to someone who doesn't respect your opinion. Explanations only matter if the person you're explaining to has kind of the same world view as you do. This is where boundaries come in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly things are not ideal for this girl, and it's natural to want to be helpful, but in this situation, true helpfulness is often more than what is comfortable for the vast majority of people (I would think this would involve meeting the grandparents, getting social services involved to assist them with their needs and Angela's, cooking them occasional meals, etc. etc. Which is waaaay out of the comfort zones of most.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree that you should not have a minor in your house for any significant period of time without the knowledge and permission of the legal guardians, which gives you an excuse to meet the grandparents and assess the situation yourself. It also gives you a chance to have some kind of relationship with them before discussing concerns you might have should the need arise. Telling them about Angela's desire to spend time with you might prompt them to look into a Big Brother/Big Sister kind of program as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's time to be honest with Angela and yourselves and &lt;em&gt;decide on and set up your boundaries&lt;/em&gt;. Reading about boundaries, what they are, and how to enforce them will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you only want to let Angela accompany you on dog walks, let her come along when you walk the dog. You can even let her know the day before what time you'll be walking the dog if you know that. If that's the extent of involvement you want to have, that's fine; it's your decision. If you want to give more, that's fine, too, but be consistent. If she comes to you at other times - when you're not available or you want to be alone together - just inform her politely. You don't have to explain or justify, you merely need to be kind, polite, and direct. Then close the door. If she continues to knock, I'd open the door and repeat once. Then stop answering the door.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will it hurt her? Yes, it probably will. Can you ease her pain by explaining she needs to spend more time with her friends? I don't think so. If being with her friends was meeting the precise needs she has, she would make that choice herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the truth is Angela needs much more than you want to give, but (and I don't mean to sound callous) Angela is not your responsibility, unless you want to and are willing to invest that kind of time and effort into her life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;In an ideal world, every adult would respond to every child in need in an ideal manner. Probably a lot of people reading this feel that more should be done for the child, and the truth is, more &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; be done for the child, but it should be done by people who feel called to do so - by moral imperative, by profession, or by some other sense of or actual duty. It is a heart-rending situation &lt;strong&gt;without easy answers&lt;/strong&gt;, or the OP would not have posted here. But moving into an apartment complex wherein there exists a needy teen (and we don't &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; know a lot more than that) does not constitute a definitive moral obligation to get involved in that needy teen's life. As someone with real-life experience with treating mental illness, I know that there are no easy answers. It is probably better to give a little bit with kindness, consistency, and real caring than more involvement with reluctance/resentment and ultimate withdrawal if the teen continues to push boundaries. The OP can take it from there.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-06-16T20:33:51.703" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T20:33:51.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-15T21:34:51.340" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I want to offer a quick couple of points for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 1 - tell her everything you wrote in your last paragraph to us.  Kids are not dumb and she will most likely understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Step 2 - don't feel bad when you tell her you cannot spend time with her.  I suspect you feel bad or guilty for doing this.  Telling her no is perfectly ok and after you explain step 1 to her I think she'll begin to grasp these relationship boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously you don't want her to show up anytime she wants, but the fact is that she can unless you peruse legal action (I suggest you don't, strongly).  So the real question is how do you deal with it?  Because she is needy she will struggle with respecting your boundaries and perhaps after that she will struggle with understanding that she can still have a positive relationship with you.  With time and simple honesty and patience it should be fine.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she does have an emotional reaction to feeling rejected by your boundaries just realize this is a normal thing for kids (and adults) and even more so based on her life experience.  If you maintain a steady behavior and show her kindness while keeping boundaries she will learn a valuable life lesson for all her future relationships in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17525" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T21:34:51.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26294" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26281" CreationDate="2016-06-15T23:06:49.617" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would take it as good advice from someone who loves you and wants what is best for you, and also has more life experience than you. IMO, she has a point, particularly since you say this is something of an impulse purchase. Say, &quot;You know, Mom, you have a good point. I am going to take one month [or whatever amount of time you are comfortable with] to consider what you have said and think about the pros and cons of this decision.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a cooling off period you might decide that your car will be just fine for a while longer. You are happy because you made a wise decision, and she is happy because you took her advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, maybe you decide that buying a car now is the right thing to do. In that case, you can tell her that you considered her input, but that you have decided that buying the car now is the right decision for you and your family. Since it sounds like you share a lot of the details of your life with her, you may even want to share more about your decision-making process. You are still happy because you made a wise decision after a cooling off period. She is, if not completely happy about it, at least not as unhappy because you seriously listened to her advice and showed that you do want to act in the best interests of your family, which includes her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T23:06:49.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-15T23:51:49.867" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Boundaries, Expectations and Communication&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your first step is to communicate with the grand parents.  If they are unaware of your relationship with their grand daughter and discover she is entering your home without their knowledge they may have a negative reaction.  Shore up that relationship first and assess their capacity to communicate, understand and discover who you are.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a proactive stance to ensure your good standing with the community.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Set a boundary&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never let her in the house without another person in the house, especially alone with a male.  There is a certain amount of risk your are incurring by allowing her in the house, especially without another female.  Explain to her that coming in the home alone is not a societal norm and tell her it's for her own safety and to never enter a home alone with only a male.  Tell her grandparents that you told her that and that you felt it was a good lesson for her.  Seek their approval of that action so they understand that you aren't a threat.  If she has possible mental health issues it's entirely possible her grandparents do to.  Whether the source of her potential issues are nature or nurture, there is a good chance her grandparents suffer as well.  Be aware of the possibility.  If they ARE borderline, you have risk interacting with them if they consider you a threat.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A threat to a borderline sufferer can be the grand daughter enjoying your company more than theirs.  If she quotes you in a disagreement with her grandparents, you can become a threat.  Beware, borderlines can be dangerous and do whatever they can to be deemed 'normal', that includes directing negative attention at those around them in a dramatic way in order to hide in the shadows of the chaos and drama they create.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Communication&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Never be judgmental in any of your communication with the daughter or the grandparents.  Use empathy and ask questions that aren't loaded.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can tell stories about how important peers and same age relationships were to you growing up.  Share the lessons you learned when you were young.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe you have folding chairs you can take outside of your apartment that you use if you visit with her.  Ensure you maintain your boundaries that you have established by communicating with action the established boundary.  The idea that, &quot;actions speak louder than words.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14569" LastActivityDate="2016-06-15T23:51:49.867" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-16T02:36:34.153" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;That is a hard situation since you also have your own personal priorities.&#xA;The child needs psychiatric help, perhaps you can extend a bit more to look for someone who can offer such help? It would make a big difference if you can ask for help for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23478" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T02:36:34.153" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26300" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-16T12:57:31.533" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The girl is clearly not happy at home, and her guardians dont seem too interested in looking after her.  Those psychological issues &lt;em&gt;could&lt;/em&gt; be multiple personality disorder -- and some victims of traumatic abuse will do exactly what you are describing in the hope of adopting a new family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I make no assumptions about the possible perpetrator: she could have been abused in a foster home.  And grandma could be a bipolar/manic-depressive who constantly bitches about everything, no matter how good she has it.  I've seen this before, so who knows.  The poor kid might need a psychic as much as a psychologist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people say that fear, not hate, is the opposite of love.  Maybe sometimes that's true.  What does it say about our society when people are too afraid to help or care for anyone else?  How would you like to be treated if you were in her position?  I know this is difficult, but perhaps you could gently inquire about her life, find out what she really wants, and give her some practical guidance.  If her welfare is left in the hands of government bureaucrats and uncaring relatives, a positive long term outcome is unlikely.  Maybe the grandparents dont really want her either.  If so, you might be able to help her find some decent foster parents or the right kind of mentoring program.  Think it over, and at the very least, do try to make constructive use of the time you spend with that child.  And thanks for asking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23482" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T12:57:31.533" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26227" CreationDate="2016-06-16T13:22:23.523" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why ask if you knew it was her? At that age, their thought and speech isn't totally developed even if they look like it. Sometime they &quot;lie&quot; but what they are saying is &quot;I wish I didn't&quot;. Your punishment might be wrong, try to look at &quot;natural&quot; punishment. In your example, if she drew on the wall, she should clean it up. &quot;I see you drew on the wall, we draw on paper, you need to clean the wall&quot;. Having natural punishment will reduce the fear of lying, since it's more logical to the kid than having someone yell or being in timeout. And later, you'll see her fix her own mistake instead of running away from them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you don't lie to her also. If family member don't lie, this is a big leverage to use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you'll have to get used to her hiding things from you as she age, it's a sad part of parenting :( But as long as she can fix her own problem, then she's going to do well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T13:22:23.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26227" CreationDate="2016-06-16T14:10:05.407" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I generally try to ignore the lie completely. Children have a slightly odd relationship with the truth, in that they still don't quite understand the barrier between fiction and reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My script is generally this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Squiggles, why did you draw on the wall?&amp;quot; &lt;em&gt;(Note: Never &amp;quot;did you&amp;quot;, always &amp;quot;why did you&amp;quot;)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Squigs: &amp;quot;I didn't.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Well then who did it?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Squigs: &amp;quot;The naughty Disgust who lives in my head&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;No, that's still a part of you, why did you do it?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And continue from there; note that I haven't deviated from the original question in any way, and have &lt;em&gt;at most&lt;/em&gt; absorbed and responded to what she said with the maximum amount of respect you can give to that pathetic attempt at deception, and then gone back to exactly where I was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Occasionally I'll shorthand that acknowledgement to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Squiggles, why did you draw on the wall?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Squigs: &amp;quot;I didn't.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: &amp;quot;Mmmhmm. Why did you do it?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is not to encourage the lie as effective in any way, even as a distraction from the original misdemeanour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, as &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/26301/147&quot;&gt;the_lotus&lt;/a&gt; correctly points out, &lt;strong&gt;don't offer her options you don't want her to consider&lt;/strong&gt;. Basically &amp;quot;did you draw on the wall?&amp;quot; is a trap. It suggests you're not sure, but the reality is it's either get in trouble, or get in extra trouble. &amp;quot;Why did you draw on the wall?&amp;quot; offers far less invitation to deceive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you genuinely want to know something, question that. But offering opportunities to lie is actually &lt;em&gt;encouraging the child to give it a go&lt;/em&gt;. If I do want a confession rather than to accuse, I generally go with pointing at the evidence, and just saying &amp;quot;Explain.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, she gets a massive punishment reduction for a freely given confession, e.g. coming straight to me with a &amp;quot;I drew on the wall/had an accident/started a minor fire&amp;quot;, rather than waiting and hoping my fatherly omniscience fails me for once. Basically, it goes from &amp;quot;ROOM. NOW.&amp;quot; down to &amp;quot;We don't do that, help me clear it up.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T14:10:05.407" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-16T14:55:56.140" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, if you have a problem for which professional help is available, of which this is one, then you should seek professional help.  (Reference: MBA program).  Consider finding out what resources are available in the community for this girl and try to put her in touch with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, but this is absolutely critical, the chief job of a teenager is to develop a sense of identity.  (Reference: Grusec, J. E., &amp;amp; Hastings, P. D. (Eds.). (2007). Handbook of Socialization: Theory and Research. New York, London: The Guilford Press.)  Successful people, particularly in engineering, develop a zest for one or more of the academic disciplines at this age, and pursue excellence therein for the rest of their lives.  (See Gladwell, M. (2008). Outliers: The Story of Success (Kindle ed.). New York: Little, Brown and Company).  You cannot let Angela self-identify solely as an ethnic group member or solely as a woman.  Remember, the job of raising children is turn a &quot;tabula rasa&quot; into someone who is ready, willing, able, and eager to make a contribution to society sufficiently worthwhile that someone is willing to pay them for it.  There is no money or contribution to society for people who self-identify solely as a &quot;Latina&quot; or a young black woman, but it happens all too frequently.  I know it is time-consuming, and &quot;not your job,&quot; but now is the time that Angela has to make the connection between success in school and success in life (Sociology of Industry) and make a decision, however tentative, about what she is going to grow up to be.  Please don't let this opportunity go by to turn a young girl with too much time on her hands into someone who wants to make her community, town, state, or country into a better place in which to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23485" LastEditorUserId="23487" LastEditDate="2016-06-19T18:33:13.187" LastActivityDate="2016-06-19T18:33:13.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-16T16:17:22.670" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is actually pretty common. First, lets get some things out on the table. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your talking to her. That makes you her friend, at least a little. Don't think that because you're older you can't &quot;be friends&quot;. There need to be boundaries, obviously. But to someone that age &quot;friend&quot; can be anyone that listens. There are structured groups (Boys and Girls Club, Big Bro./Sis.) that are built on that fact. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have no right to tell her what to do, or how to act. You can only direct what you do and how you act. 13 is old enough to make her own decisions about &quot;I don't like so and so, I'm not going over there any more,&quot; and &quot;I like so and so, let's go talk to them.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She probably wants to hang out with people that listen. Not to mention the dog. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, there are some things I think you should do. First, welcome to the community. The old saying, &quot;Raising a kid takes a village&quot; doesn't mean just a village of parents. Your being a member of that community; you take on a social responsibility for that child. Whether it's driving slower in the parking lot, or something more involved, your still have a responsibility. Your only other option is to go hide in a cave (or adult-only communities) and not deal with children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, you should set her up with a &quot;job&quot;. She likes your dog, and she likes talking with you. Great, give her a &quot;job&quot;. Arrange to make her a snack or give her money or whatever in exchange for &quot;working with the dog&quot;.  Work it out with her grandparents first, of course, but something like, &quot;Angela likes playing with the dog, we thought we might have her stop by after school and take the dog for her evening walk. We can't really pay much, but we can provide snacks, or a little cash.&quot; This instantly sets some boundaries up. Very natural ones. Ones you can work with. It also gives the grandparents a way to interact. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next using the dog as a way to do so, try to include the  grandparents in some &quot;group&quot; activities. &quot;Hey, we want to take Dog to the park, would you and Angela like to come along?&quot; The Grandparents may be grateful for the opportunity to bond. They may say no. Talk to the Grandparents first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some things to remember here. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First and foremost, not your kid. Remember that. It's super important. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get the grandparents' permission, for everything. Make sure to include them. Ask first. You do not want to; &quot;If your Grandma says it's ok, then we can go to the park.&quot; That will put you between them and their granddaughter. Instead, ask them first.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You're becoming a part of her life. A mentor. Make sure to treat it like such. Don't overdo it, but &quot;Hey, how was school?&quot; every now and then is great.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep the interaction &quot;public&quot;. Make sure, at least for the foreseeable future, that the activities (like dog walking) are outside and where everyone can see. If you want to thank her for doing a good job, then invite her and her grandparents over for dinner, or better yet, make dinner and take it to them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep conversations light. Small talk. If she starts asking for real &quot;heavy&quot; advise, then don't be afraid to give it, but ALWAYS remember &quot;not your kid,&quot; and some topics need to be punted to the grandparents. You will have to find out where that line is over time. But for now, small talk.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2016-12-13T17:45:33.460" LastActivityDate="2016-12-13T17:45:33.460" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26305" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-16T16:46:53.153" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As you describe the situation, I would consider Angela as possibly a traumatized child in a troubled home situation, until you learn otherwise.  This is not to say that her guardians have intent to neglect Angela, but according to Angela they're old and sick and perhaps unprepared (as you wisely observe that you are not fully confident) to raise her and deal with the extent of the trauma she has experienced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having children in your home from troubled backgrounds (and when placed in foster care, any situation where you and the child do not have guardians present) is something that states require specific training on before allowing parents to participate in the fostering program.  And with good reason!  (I've gone through such training, and I would never advise adopting or fostering a traumatized child without it.)  The more you bring Angela into your home and your lives, the more prepared you need to be to fulfill the parent role, which from your description seems to me to be what she is really seeking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever level of involvement you ultimately decide to have in Angela's life, I think your first step needs to be to engage with her grandparents / guardians.  It appears you have not met or talked to them yet.  Do not allow her inside your home until this occurs.  If she has serious trauma in her background, everything you believe about her guardians and her background could be completely wrong, and her real situation could be very different.  (Traumatized children &quot;misbehave&quot;, including lying, to protect themselves.  What to us is misbehavior, to them is survival and coping.  If she has trauma, you need to learn about these kinds of issues before engaging further.)  And bringing her inside your home without their knowledge and permission makes you legally vulnerable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regardless of whether there is actually any trauma in her background, to continue down your current path, you and the guardians need to be on a familiar basis, in constant communication, and specifically, not relying on Angela to be the messenger between the households.  Talk to them face to face, often.  Make sure they know she is with you for every visit, checking in at arrival and departure.  Be certain that they are fully comfortable with you as someone Angela can spend time with as friends.  Establish ground rules and parameters and follow them, and expect Angela to follow them.  If the guardians don't seem interested in having these discussions, consider it a &lt;strong&gt;giant&lt;/strong&gt; risk factor for any deeper involvement in her life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That I would consider an absolute minimum if it was me.  Beyond that, you mentioned concern over being accused of being inappropriate with Angela by neighbors etc.  (And the guardians!)  One way to manage that would be to never bring Angela into your home, unless the guardians come with her (ie inviting the whole family to dinner).  Instead, you simply play outdoors with the dogs, etc. or visit her home when invited by the guardians.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If Angela is dealing with severe trauma, and/or her guardians are overwhelmed due to illness as she says, there may be a clear need to involve the state in her situation.  If you come to believe that, don't try to be the heroes yourselves, and don't look the other way, call in family services.  It is a misconception that every call to family services results in children being torn away from their homes and families.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If Angela's case tugs at your heart strings, but ultimately you decide it is best for you not to involve yourselves deeply in her life, you might consider entering the foster parent program in your state.  There are many other children like her, some with even more troubled situations, who need caring homes, either as a prelude to adoption or as a temporary measure while their families sort out their issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7736" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T16:46:53.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26306" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24100" CreationDate="2016-06-16T18:38:36.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it possible that he actually values your discipline, but needs a scapegoat to explain to his friends why he isn't &quot;fun&quot; anymore?  Sometimes exaggerating the strictness of a parent is a way for a teen to get out of situations that make him or her nervous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My cousin (who has a great relationship with his kids) actually made a practice of playacting as a &quot;crazy strict&quot; parent in front of their friends, to give them an excuse to stand up to peer pressure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be hard to tell for sure --asking him directly might be counterproductive --but if you feel good about your relationship with him, I wouldn't worry too much about how he portrays you to his friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T18:38:36.823" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26307" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24958" CreationDate="2016-06-16T19:13:30.117" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Siblings often form their roles in reaction to each other.  Since you are filling the &quot;perfect child&quot; slot, your brother has taken over the &quot;problem child&quot; slot --that's a fairly common pattern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would advise you to remember you are not his parent, and with only a one-year age gap between you, you cannot fill a parental role, nor should you try.  Given the dynamic between the two of you, that can only make things worse.  I can guarantee it's not helping your mother out either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should concentrate on living your own life --getting out of the house more and being more social.  Once you move away to University, and you and your brother are no longer under the same roof, I predict your relationship with him will improve dramatically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2016-06-16T19:33:39.383" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T19:33:39.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26308" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26291" CreationDate="2016-06-16T19:37:19.657" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Listen to hu45,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What a wonderful opportunity to make a difference in a child's life. What you make of it is up to you.  But as someone that has been in that position before, I suggest you act boldly, in the girls best interest, being open to the realization that her interest are your interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your young and at the perfect age to start a family, do it.  Nothing wrong with a head start (13 years). Talk to the grand parents about becoming legal guardian, letting her live with you.  Adopt her when the grand parents pass on.  Life is not about living, its about giving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you tell your friends and they all freak, you will know you are doing the right thing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will it be easy? Hell no, parent hood is the hardest job there is, but also, by far, the most rewarding.  There isn't even a close second.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23494" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T19:37:19.657" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26310" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-16T20:31:00.880" Score="3" ViewCount="417" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is one in July. He was brilliantly breastfeeding since birth, exclusively, up until 3 weeks ago, when he started biting. I said no and pulled away. He would cry and I would eventually give in. He then carried on drinking and then after a minute bite again but pull too! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5 days ago, the same thing happened: as he pulled I said no etc. but this time when I offered &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; refused, pushing me away. He has since pushed me away. Everytime I offer him the breast he moves his face and when he has put it in his mouth, he bites me and lets go. He doesn't attempt to suck for milk. He even has refused water. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23496" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-18T13:03:41.747" LastActivityDate="2019-05-18T13:03:41.747" Title="What to do about my 11-month-old refusing all types of fluid including breast milk?" Tags="|infant|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26311" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26313" CreationDate="2016-06-16T21:20:57.873" Score="15" ViewCount="1774" Body="&lt;p&gt;My teenager spends hours and hours on the computer doing &quot;programming&quot; &quot;coding&quot; and other web-design stuff. He spends hours on stackoverflow.  How should I be monitoring this behavior and should I be concerned?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23497" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2020-08-30T18:23:58.017" LastActivityDate="2020-08-30T18:23:58.017" Title="Too much computer?" Tags="|teen|parents|screen-time|computer|programming|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21480" CreationDate="2016-06-16T21:29:38.300" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;note: read entire post before jumping to an aggressive standpoint conclusion, this means well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;how is this arrogance?  is it fair to label her as such because you're perplexed as to why she doesn't eagerly leap into mathematics?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;from what you say, it sounds like she's on vacation.&#xA;you're trying to force (your word, force) an 11 year old to study math on vacation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;is there any particular reason you can't let her read? is she doing poorly in math, or is she just not &quot;the best in the class&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I notice you say &quot;play laptop&quot;.  what does that mean, exactly, since a laptop isn't a toy, or game system.  I've been accused of playing on my laptop or computer when i was diligently studying things that casual observers had no real concept of, which was very irksome (even though it did look like I was playing games, who said study has to be boring and dry?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;the reason i ask is she obviously enjoys reading, doesn't want to go outside (for now), and likes being on her laptop.  why not introduce her to basic programming, which would definitely work on math and logic skills. it might not be the way you like (traditional math lessons), but you're probably going to have to compromise, or just cause a lot of resentment in both parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;explain that programming can be used to tell the computer what to do, and perhaps show her some creative editing of existing web-pages to spark interest.  if you disagree that programming is a good outcome for math studies, you might want to reconsider what you think math is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;i've no doubt she'll still be reluctant to even consider, but you can't give up right away.  patience is necessary, and going from &quot;do this.&quot; to &quot;I SAID DO THIS&quot;, then being confused, is a really poor approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;especially on a vacation.  at least with basic programming you'll give the solid fundamentals you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;good luck with this!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18969" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T21:29:38.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26311" CreationDate="2016-06-16T23:23:20.943" Score="39" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let me expand on my pithy comment above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your son has taken an active interest in programming. I too spent &quot;hours and hours&quot; doing exactly the same sorts of things that it sounds like your son is doing (though I didn't have the luxury of the internet back then!). Rather than this work being a waste of time, it's actually building the foundation for him becoming technologically adept, knowledgeable, and ultimately highly employable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, you don't necessarily have to &lt;em&gt;understand&lt;/em&gt; everything he's doing (and the technical details will almost certainly be beyond you), but you can engage with him and try to get the general idea of what he's building. Is he building a web site? What does it look like? Who is it for? What is the audience? Is he building a Ruby gem? (That is a programming module that can be used by other people.) What does it do? How is it useful? Who might use it? Keep in mind that his programming focus might change quickly, so be prepared for that. Today's hot new project will be tomorrow's &quot;old and busted&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Too much of one thing can lead to deficiencies in other areas of his life. He's probably doing something ultimately worthwhile on the computer. But encourage him to do other things too, like go outside, hang out (in real life) with friends, read books, etc. Left to my own devices, I probably would have been programming every day from morning until midnight when I was your son's age. My parents managed to get me to do some other non-computer things too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, talk to him about what he's working on. Ask questions about things you don't understand. If nothing else, this will give him valuable experience with explaining concepts to a non-technical person!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9114" LastEditorUserId="9114" LastEditDate="2016-06-16T23:32:59.457" LastActivityDate="2016-06-16T23:32:59.457" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26314" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26310" CreationDate="2016-06-17T00:02:12.877" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like a nursing strike. Your baby will be ok, really. Likely his mouth hurts from teething right now, which has made him bite and he'll be back to normal soon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One idea is to try offering when he's sleepy/asleep, since then he's more likely to follow his natural instincts to nurse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20772" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2017-02-11T21:50:04.910" LastActivityDate="2017-02-11T21:50:04.910" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26319" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21480" CreationDate="2016-06-17T19:50:48.613" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like a cry for love and attention to me.  First, you admit that no one really pays attention to your sister or spends time with her.  All kids need attention and love.  And your sister isn't getting it from you and your family.  Her resistance is a way she can get that attention, even if it is negative attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you say she listens to others but not you or your family.  Think about yourself for a minute.  Let's put you in a made up situation (and that is all it is meant to be is a made up example situation).  Say two people were trying to give you advice (and for the sake of argument we will say it is very good advice).  Let's say one of them is someone you respect and love, who you have a strong relationship with and you know has your best interests at heart.  And let's say the other is someone you see fairly often, but you don't have much interaction with.  You feel like this person mostly ignores you.  Who's advice do you listen to?  For me, it wouldn't be the second person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, you say she doesn't really have hobby outside of reading and doing something on a laptop.  Is this really a problem?  Some people just really enjoy reading.  And that's not a bad thing.  It might be different than what you like, but that doesn't make it bad.  Before you can judge whether she &quot;needs&quot; a hobby, you need to spend time with her and see if she's really happy or something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth, I know you are concerned that she isn't taking her studies seriously.  I'm not sure where you live or what the culture is like, but eleven seems a bit young to be trying to think so far into the future.  What you are trying to do may be helpful, but she's probably not at a point where thoughts of her life 15 years down the road mean much to her (that's farther down the road than the entire time she's been alive).  She's probably saying she's ok with being a beggar, etc. because it's not important to her right now and she just wants you to leave her alone and stop &quot;forcing&quot; her to do math.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big takeaway from this should be that before you can get her to care about what you have to say to her, she needs to have a better relationship with you.  I know this is cliche, but it sums this up pretty nicely.  People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-06-17T19:50:48.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26262" CreationDate="2016-06-17T20:09:24.207" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have worked in childcare for many years, and it is my experience that kids will behave much better for caretakers other than their parents (this is true with young elementary school kids as well). It is possible that since &quot;daddy&quot; is a biological parent and (I assume) you came into the picture sometime after she was born, she views you in this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also could be completely wrong, seeing as I don't know your situation. I recognize how you might take offense to this and I assure you I mean none.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23515" LastActivityDate="2016-06-17T20:09:24.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26321" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26227" CreationDate="2016-06-18T06:47:16.797" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First we need to know why children tell lie. Because of&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Loss: if they feel that you can take something from them like their toys, room or you can stop them from going outside, playing with other children, eating ice cream or any kind of loss they may face&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pain: If you can beat them or scold very harshly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Embarrassment: Scolding in front of their friends, non-family members, or in presence of younger brother-sister etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that this is not only you who can afraid your child, sometimes they get afraid seeing other parents doing the same thing with their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do they really deserve for the punishment?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are curious to try out new things. This is how they learn. You must have noticed babies chewing/licking things or kids rubbing crayons on the wall or furniture. These all are the ways, unconcious mind use to learn about unknowns. And when you try out something new, there is fair chance to commit mistakes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although they start it for learning purpose but since they don't know what is wrong in this, they keep doing this. And some times they start taking interest in doing this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the punishment depends on wheather this is their first attempt, are they doing it for learning purpose or just for fun etc. But before punishment explain them it's cosequences, like: if it is broken you'll not be able to play with this again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let's understand them first&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are not good to understand in words. Better to show some motivating cartoon or rhyme or other child doing the same thing in better way. Again!!! don't ask them to be like others. Let them notice by themselves.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are not good in linking with past events. So explain them only when something happens.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Colours, glittering materials, lights, or something which is not in their day to day life or they are not used to with, can fetch kids' attention. That's why they even ignore what parents say or do. For them, parents are just like a security guard.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children are greedy: if you take something from them, they'll not be happy and more concerned. If you give something, even useless, they'll be happy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They don't rely on you or your promises: Children are impatient to wait while you complete your promises. In early age they don't even understand what is promise. So if you tell them you are gonna let them watch rhymes once they finish food. They'll just ignore your words, and will start crying for rhymes.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Better ways of explaining&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Fogging (Being agree)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think twice before you punish them. There can be many alternative ways. Discuss with them and try to know the reason why they did it. Don't start with stating that they are wrong that's why you wanna discuss. Show your interest doing the same thing. And then introduce your ideas to do it in better way or explain them what problem you were facing in doing something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Speak indirectly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't always say 'NO'. Be involved with them. Let them commit mistake. This is how they learn. Instead of teaching them, talk to your partner that what better could have done if you do it in other way. Let them listen you when you talk to your partner. Since kids learn from imitating other &lt;strong&gt;they will listen&lt;/strong&gt; and understand you better &lt;strong&gt;when you don't tell them&lt;/strong&gt; directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Change the topic&lt;/em&gt; (Red herring)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies don't understand your promises, like when you say I'll do it tomorrow. They can still be stubborn. But instead of scolding, move their attention to something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Other's help&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they know bad consequences of telling lie, which may happen later in the future, or benefit of telling truth, they can stop lying. You may take help of other friends or parents (not teacher, they seems boring) to explain them, but again not in words. You can weave a fake story with your friends to actually show them the consequences of telling lie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Rewards&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I heard about rewards from many people. I even tried it. But my 2 years daughter doesn't understand it. And I feel, it can make a child greedy sometimes. I mean, children start bargaining in everything. But if it works in your case, go for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17058" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T06:47:16.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2898" CreationDate="2016-06-18T09:22:23.793" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another option is to re-direct the focus during her &quot;big-girl&quot; behaviors. Speaking to her like a little person saying something like, &quot;WOW!! Give me a five! That was awesome! Man, your turning into a big girl, I'm impressed!&quot; and while being overly emphatic about it... will teach her that new responsibilities are awaiting, the both of you. AND, you're in it together; which will also build her self esteem and confidence. Aside from the messes initially caused by teaching new skills, it could end up benefiting you with a little helper. &#xA;Additionally, you could introduce a baby doll to the situation when she is acting like a baby and try to shift her thought as to what her baby thinks... ie. go grab her baby doll and make a loud whiny baby noise - saying MAMA, MAMA and replicate how she is acting towards you and see how she responds; then go from there as I believe she is trying to communicate with you, but doesn't know how. All girls I know, love attention from their mother and father. :D This too shall pass and you might even miss it one day. Good Luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23520" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T09:22:23.793" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26323" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26274" CreationDate="2016-06-18T14:30:47.177" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consider that maybe you're asking the wrong question. Maybe you ought to be asking why exactly is he not motivated to go out more? Is he also not outgoing when he's at the other parent's house? This motivation must grow in him naturally, not really be stuffed into him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been an avid gamer myself when I was his age (18 years ago), and I spent much time at home just playing videogames whenever none of my friends came out for some reason. Essentially, I would just not go out if I had no reason to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That I didn't have a girlfriend was an important factor. I wanted one really badly, but I didn't see it happening in the foreseeable future, so I just spent my time doing what I felt was the next best thing. And even though I loved playing videogames that much, a girlfriend would've easily made me forget they existed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Summer youth camps and activities always seemed overly boring to me, probably because I was raised in the woods and I had already lived through much more appealing adventures and activities on my own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My best guess is that this is a temporary phase, in which he may be needing something refreshing in his life, and as soon as he has a chance to get a job he'll meet new people, see new places, feel the freedom to wonder off on his own, and it will all feel quite refreshing. He'll also meet new girls, and most likely fall in love, or at least have some fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If my prediction isn't correct, then maybe he has a problem of some sort that he doesn't know how to overcome. I had complexes of my body, and while that may not sound serious, it was what made me not live through the most important stuff I should've lived in my teen years... How to deal with a boy's problem of this sort is something I unfortunately don't know. I was shy and introverted when it came to mine. The only way I was ever able to let it out was thanks to a close (girl)friend who noticed my problem, decided to try to help me, and told me she had had it too, which made me feel at ease. I was never able to speak to my parents or anyone else about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a side note about videogames: before I had a PC and many games to play and apps to fiddle with, I was constantly sighing and complaining that I had nothing to do. From then on I had something entertaining to spend my spare time with. It's not a bad thing, unless it's the only thing we do in life from dawn till dusk. If it looks like an addiction then there is probably something hindering or demotivating him (&lt;strong&gt;remember, an addiction isn't the actual problem, it is only caused by the actual problem&lt;/strong&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if that's not really the case, then videogames are actually not a bad thing. I learned a few valuable things with playing videogames. Namely that cheating removes the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment from achieving things (a notion I still apply to all of my life), and that greed never pays any better than perseverance and patience. I also keep some nice nostalgia from those times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope I gave you enough food for thought, and I hope it turns out to just be a phase. The sense of freedom after being 18 and having their own money and no questions asked, will probably change things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23523" LastEditorUserId="23523" LastEditDate="2016-06-18T14:37:53.057" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T14:37:53.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26324" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24664" CreationDate="2016-06-18T15:00:51.117" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no personal experience in being raised in a multilingual home, but I had some exposure to more than one language since I was a little boy. My mother taught me lyrics from french songs as early as when I was 5 and my parents also bought me an english course with cartoons and exercises (all english, no subtitles or anything) when I was around 7 or 8, and I loved it despite not understanding anything at first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The result: I'm extremely at ease with learning languages (and I dominate english even if it's not my native one). In fact, most of my best grades were in foreign language classes. Also in fact, I love languages, and I'm currently learning German and Japanese on my own (I'll learn Greek and Russian one of these days).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say you shouldn't be that worried about it. The kid will probably pick up the languages at home as time goes by since birth, and then the language of his friends which will probably be the same as the one at school, and will likely be able to speak them all, or at least learn them easily. My take would be that you should speak whatever comes naturally, regardless of the child being around or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't underestimate children's ability and willingness to learn, really (too many people do that these days).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider this document: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.learninglandscapes.ca/images/documents/ll-no13/byers-heinlein.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.learninglandscapes.ca/images/documents/ll-no13/byers-heinlein.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23523" LastEditorUserId="23523" LastEditDate="2016-06-18T15:07:00.193" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T15:07:00.193" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26325" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26273" CreationDate="2016-06-18T15:19:38.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to be kind of like this. I was also in a daycare center, and I just didn't like the other kids... except one girl who made me laugh with funny faces and who I always looked for, as soon as I was dropped off there. Since I didn't see that girl that often, I suspect she was from another group of kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't really know why I didn't like the kids. I have one memory of me pooping my pants and the other kids laughing and commenting on it, and that was one situation that made me not like them even more, but at that point my distaste for them had already been there for some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider if she reacts the same with kids outside the daycare. If she's more social outside of it, then it's likely to be something similar to my experience, and not likely to be a problem. It may be that the girl is just naturally shy like I was/am. Another thing I think I was, but I know I am now, is not very fond of crowds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About the language thing, I very much doubt that is even a factor. Couldn't be a factor in my case. I answered this similar question about it: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/24664/mlh-oppl-confusion&quot;&gt;ML@H + OPPL = confusion?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23523" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T15:19:38.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24567" CreationDate="2016-06-18T16:14:10.697" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think I can be of much help since I don't remember why I was such a headache when I was 8. But I have a few things I could say that might be worth considering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I was reprimanded harshly, I reacted even worse, while whenever I was reprimanded calmly, sometimes with a tone of sad disappointment (usually from my grandfather), although sometimes still temporarily losing something precious as punishment, I reacted more positively, or at the very least, I began feeling that I was being unfair. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, the few times I actually made my mother cry, it immediately weighed on my conscience and I regretted everything I had just said or done. In some cases I might not show it, but that was indeed how I felt, in other cases I would say I was sorry and in some of those cases an honest and calm conversation did follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know reacting calmly or channeling frustration away from anger is easier said than done, especially after it has been building up for a long while, but I think it's something worthy of consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, try to find out what exactly is the kid trying to accomplish, and whether he has any backwards reasoning causing his behavior. If he has some backwards ideas, then telling him those ideas are wrong may not help. He has to understand why they're wrong, and that's better achieved by showing it somehow, and with a positive attitude (this is also true for adults).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23523" LastActivityDate="2016-06-18T16:14:10.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26327" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26330" CreationDate="2016-06-18T23:14:45.303" Score="-1" ViewCount="165" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a young one finally starting into the adventure of mobility.  It's very exciting, but we know our house has never been babyproofed.  It's going to take some work to get it safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there's lots of different opinions on what level of babyproofing is desirable.  Some turn their house into a balloon animal farm of colorful corner protectors, edge protectors, and floor mats.  Others appear to believe that if they turn their house into a jailhouse of 3 foot tall baby fences, their child will never get to any dangerous situation.  Still others appear to take the Spartan approach of &quot;If the kid survives, they're probably tough enough to be worth raising.&quot;  Some of them can be spotted adding caltrops to the child's playpen to accelerate the learning process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clearly there's a lot of personal opinion as to levels of babyproofing.  We're going to have to find our own opinion.  However, do you guys have advice on what to look for, both in our child and in ourselves, to figure out whether we have enough babyproofing?  What are the best ways to look at the situation we are in at any given moment, and decide whether the house is too unsafe, too obsessively safe, or just right?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd love help realizing that I am insane when I carefully foam pad the edges of every page of my daily planner to prevent papercuts. I'd love help noticing that I am negligent &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; the child decides to see how the wood burning stove tastes (while it is hot, of course -- it's the only time &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; child would go near a wood burning stove!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(I choose these two examples as extremes.  I have no daily planner, and I have no wood burning stove.  So there!)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/0T0I6.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/0T0I6.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9043" LastActivityDate="2016-06-19T12:41:19.577" Title="How do we determine the right amount of babyproofing?" Tags="|infant|safety|walking|crawling|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2016-06-19T16:02:26.443" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26327" CreationDate="2016-06-19T08:16:55.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;One piece of good advice I got at that time was to get down on your hands and knees and look at the world from your toddler's point of view. At that point the dangers start to become more obvious: you realise that the trailing cloth on a table can be pulled, bringing down whatever is on the table. You also discover some things under chairs and tables that really shouldn't go in the mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To explain a bit: I don't think you can usefully talk about &quot;how much&quot; baby-proofing you should do, but you can talk about whether specific measures are worthwhile. Getting a toddler's eye view of the world can help to clarify those questions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2016-06-19T12:41:19.577" LastActivityDate="2016-06-19T12:41:19.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26331" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-19T16:39:39.523" Score="2" ViewCount="398" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is always trying to play with the home-theater which is under the TV. How can I stop him and how to protect the equipment (is there any cover available to keep children away for touching the home-theater?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23536" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-09T12:32:28.513" LastActivityDate="2019-04-09T12:32:28.513" Title="How can I stop my toddler from playing with electronic appliances?" Tags="|toddler|safety|television|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26332" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26331" CreationDate="2016-06-19T23:49:47.357" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are two options. You could buy or make a cover, and this will work for a while, in your house. It will not however sort out the same problem when you visit other places, so a much better solution than child-proofing your house, is to house proof your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be with them when playing. Guide them. Tell them no when they try to play with things they shouldn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, it takes a bit of time, and it requires a bit of effort, but it helps build a good learning ethic and means you are interacting with your child, rather than just building a wall.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The huge benefit we found when doing this with our three was that we could take them anywhere, even places with delicate glass ornaments at toddler height, and we knew they would be safe. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely worth that extra time investment up front!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-06-19T23:49:47.357" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26333" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-20T06:28:57.317" Score="2" ViewCount="142" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 2 years old toddler who cries constantly in the early morning (typically 2am-4am) for a long period of time  (over 1 hour) if not longer. This consistently happens 3-4xs a week!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my husband and I try to calm him down it seems to only get worse. The crying becomes louder and angrier &amp;amp; he would even scratch us. He eventually cries himself back to sleep. This has been happening ever since he turned 1. We noticed it wasn't as bad then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have not brought this up to his pediatrician's attention yet. We were hoping that it will eventually go away. He was also born with hernia so my husband and I always thought that it could just be him experiencing pain from that. Also, he's a very picky eater.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do any parents have this problem with their child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23544" LastActivityDate="2016-06-20T12:35:53.147" Title="Toddler crying in the early morning" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26335" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23716" CreationDate="2016-06-20T11:25:20.097" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of ours solved this by having a play pen, and putting the bigger kid in it. Of course he could climb out at any time, but in the pen his little brother couldn't get at his toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2016-06-20T11:25:20.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26336" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26333" CreationDate="2016-06-20T12:35:53.147" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recommend discussing this problem with your paediatrician. If he is crying due to pain, this needs to be checked. If it's simply a habit he has got himself in to, your paediatrician should be able to advise you how to help him self-soothe without crying for long periods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience, kids cry at night because they are tired (and don't want to go to sleep), are hungry/thirsty, or else simply want attention. None of these sounds like what is going on (as far as I can tell from your description), which to me suggests that talking to a professional is a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! I hope the three of you can get back to satisfying nights' sleep soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16610" LastActivityDate="2016-06-20T12:35:53.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2016-06-20T15:18:34.573" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You did the right thing, but just try to if possible, keep them as far away from each other as you can, including school even. Telling teachers to not let them play together is just fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23548" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-06-22T11:48:42.207" LastActivityDate="2016-06-22T11:48:42.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23716" CreationDate="2016-06-20T15:21:07.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While some common sense care and supervision is always a good thing, Lego doesn't seem to be particularly dangerous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I coulnd't find any reliable information of a confirmed fatality with choking on Lego. There was a babysitter that claimed a child's severe injury to be Lego related but that seems more like defense (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dallasnews.com/news/community-news/richardson-lake-highlands/headlines/20130618-sitter-13-month-old-richardson-girl-with-head-injury-in-2008-choked-on-lego.ece&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.dallasnews.com/news/community-news/richardson-lake-highlands/headlines/20130618-sitter-13-month-old-richardson-girl-with-head-injury-in-2008-choked-on-lego.ece&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And there is a random post claiming 57 deaths without any sources. &#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.chacha.com/question/how-many-people-have-died-chocking-on-a-lego&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.chacha.com/question/how-many-people-have-died-chocking-on-a-lego&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Choking is indeed a real danger (&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/02/100226212559.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/02/100226212559.htm&lt;/a&gt;) but it's mostly food related. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So Lego is clearly a thing to watch for but it should be done proportional to the actual risk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2016-06-20T15:21:07.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26339" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-20T16:54:56.747" Score="3" ViewCount="566" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are having a problem with our second daughter.  She is 15 months old and lately, (the last 2 months), she has just been inconsolable and whiny despite there being no obvious underlying cause.  In every facet of everyday life she is screaming and throwing her head back and straightening her whole body out like a board.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understood this to be just a phase but it seems to be continuing with even more frequency, every diaper change, ever car ride, every snack time, every time she wakes up from a nap.  She will walk up to us and whine and motion to be picked up and then we oblige and she flings into a panic.  In some cases it seems that whining and screaming are her preferred mode of communication, just walking around in a constant state of frustration.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried everything we can think of but we are running out of ideas.  We have tried a stern objection, explaining what she is doing wrong, ignoring the problem hoping attention was the objective, and of course fighting fire with fire and yelling won't work so I don't know what else to try.  And unfortunately she is just beginning to understand communication on a higher level so I think the concept that this behaviour is unacceptable is too complicated for her.  I'm not sure if she understands cause and reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly I just want to know if anyone else has had a similar situation and how normal it is and how they overcame it or dealt with it.  After 2 months of this I fear that this may become more than a phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23549" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-06-20T17:03:16.903" LastActivityDate="2016-08-27T20:11:46.757" Title="Continually whining unhappy baby" Tags="|toddler|communication|tantrums|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26343" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-21T04:19:18.353" Score="2" ViewCount="520" Body="&lt;p&gt;We were not planning on getting pregnant so we both were not practicing healthy living habits! The only time  we were not careful having sex was only a few days (2days) after my last period which I knew was not in the fertile range. But that only time got me pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are over the moon but so worried as I have been consuming alcohol pretty much 2 weekends last month (not excessive but some shots) and I smoked weed like every day but not excessive only a small amount like one of two puffs a day but that was mixed with tobacco. Also two weeks after my last period we partied and I had half an ecstasy too. Had I known I was pregnant I would have never touched any of those! I love kids, they are my favorite but I'm so upset without knowing I might have caused damage to my baby! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please advise! I'm in to the 5th week now and from the moment I knew I was pregnant I stopped all and I started eating and drinking a lot of water, taking vitamins needed etc. But I am still worried of the substances I may have put in my body without knowing I was pregnant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23554" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-04T14:06:14.490" LastActivityDate="2018-10-04T14:06:14.490" Title="Health risk to my unborn child due to alcohol and drug use before finding out I was pregnant?" Tags="|health|pregnancy|drugs|alcohol|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2016-06-27T21:56:29.917" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26344" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23472" CreationDate="2016-06-21T13:48:39.997" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The very first advice could be, don't scold or punish him for this&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to know the reason, don't pump them for information as soon as they come from school. When he is relaxed, ask what made him happy/sad in school that day. Know if he is bullied. Watch him carefully, observe if there are any changes in his mood, behavior, opinion about school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids generally love to be termed as 'good'. So, take this as an advantage, encourage and motivate him. Tell him if he does all his tasks in school, teacher would praise him in front of all his classmates, and you too will. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Know his likes, and try encouraging him comparing it to going to school and eating (like, if your kid likes a cartoon character or likes to grow up soon, tell him, if you eat more u'll get strength like us, then you too can fight against bad like your favorite cartoon character). Bribe him with his favorite food(snacks, chocolates, desserts), play time. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Develop a healthy competition by comparing with other kids, at the same time remember not to get your child addict to it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Parents should be stronger during the process of child getting used to school, though they cry, scream in the initial stages, they will get used to the school slowly. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take an opportunity to talk to his teacher (once in 2 weeks or one month), mention your kids strong and weak points, and request them to consider those points. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Prepare your kid before going to school, to listen to teachers, to eat well, going to the toilet on their own and to study/write well. Tell him if he eats well, he could get the energy to play/study well. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22197" LastActivityDate="2016-06-21T13:48:39.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26346" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26343" CreationDate="2016-06-21T17:27:17.797" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Of course the only way to be sure is to consult a health professional, but for some reason it seems consuming alcohol the first couple weeks doesn't harm the baby. Not knowing wifey was prego and then having a couple drinks has happened with two of our three babies and they are perfectly normal. Given she didn't get crazy drunk or anything, just a couple drinks. I have heard the same from many other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time is the only way for you to know for sure, but for now I say relax, continue abstaining as you have been and wait until you can have an ultrasound to find out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And Congrats!!!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-06-22T15:36:40.407" LastActivityDate="2016-06-22T15:36:40.407" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26348" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-21T20:48:17.437" Score="1" ViewCount="104" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mother sent us three boxes of rusks  (hard long wheat product- not common product here). How do I encourage him to try putting in his mouth or how do I use the rusks so he will like them? He refuses to let it in and in his hand he throws them away before it gets near his mouth. He is 8 months old with one small tooth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11975" LastActivityDate="2016-06-26T13:53:19.890" Title="How to encourage a baby to use rusks or prepare the rusks" Tags="|teething|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2016-06-21T23:25:55.343" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just tried a puddle jumper on my 25lb 13 month old and he loved it. Obviously he has to stay close cause he wants to drink the water and that's not ok but he was able to float and loved it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had my older son in one at 22 months and he was putting his face in, blowing bubbles, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as they can't slip out of it and you stay close you should be fine even if they don't meet the &quot;weight limit&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23560" LastActivityDate="2016-06-21T23:25:55.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26350" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1776" CreationDate="2016-06-22T04:48:32.640" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In your home, you have the right to enforce your rules.  If the neighbor child isn't willing to abide by those rules in order to spend time with your son, then he's making the choice to end the friendship, not you.  Both your son and his friend are old enough for you to tell them, straight out, that you aren't comfortable with your son going to his house, but that he (the friend) is welcome in your house, &lt;em&gt;if, and only if,&lt;/em&gt; he follows the standards of the house.  That marks a midground between cutting your son's friend off entirely, versus letting him poison your house culture.  Plus, it allows your son to clearly see the choices his friend is making, instead of just making you the scapegoat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a side note, although my wife and I have values much like yours, it hasn't stopped my own 8-year son from sharing his violent fantasies with us, or with repurposing his non-weapon toys into mock-weapons.  Which is to say, it may not all be the parenting or the household.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-06-22T04:48:32.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1908" CreationDate="2016-06-22T19:47:25.180" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my life, my half sister and I are 8 years apart and my brother and I are almost 6 years apart. That means my sister and brother are 14 years a apart. That is too much of an age gap between siblings.  You will have times when your kids feel this big age gap and they cannot connect to one another. Making it a difficult parenthood. However, in the long run we are all friends now that we are in our 30s 20s and late teens. It was only terrible as kids, early teens and beginning adulthood (wait my brother is still a teen) This is because our parents had different rules for all of us and we kind of sometimes got mad at them for restricting us when our older sibling got to do stuff like stay out late. My sister was an adult when I was a teen = different rules.  Now I am an adult and my brother is a teen= different rules.  So I suggest that no more than 4 years apart and do not do one or 2 years apart because then it will be an attention battle.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23567" LastActivityDate="2016-06-22T19:47:25.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26353" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-22T23:36:38.730" Score="2" ViewCount="272" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a six-year-old daughter who is almost never shy or afraid to voice her opinion, but there are times when she is just a bit much to handle. Sometimes she'll misbehave in public in a fairly loud manner. It is hard to talk with her in situations like those, especially, because much any disagreement with her will cause the situation to escalate and she will yell/whine louder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I learn to talk with her in a way that gets her to listen and stop whining/complaining/making a scene in public without possibly making her someone who just defers to authority or make her someone who is of low confidence? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18893" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-06-23T09:07:24.257" LastActivityDate="2016-06-23T15:55:12.837" Title="How to talk with my six-year-old" Tags="|discipline|tantrums|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26354" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-23T01:15:36.723" Score="4" ViewCount="4445" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am presently not working, and my job is just to look after my 15 months baby 24/7 which is making me frustrated, and I am staying with my in-laws with the constant whining of my mother-in-law. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel I am not able to find personal time to relax or do what I like to do. Even though I get time to relax when my baby is asleep, I don't feel the time is enough for me to relax. I want to start a hobby or read books but I am unable to find time or, even though I find it, I am not in a state to open a book. I am open for suggestions on what I should do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23568" LastEditorUserId="13586" LastEditDate="2016-06-23T11:45:11.217" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T20:54:55.377" Title="How can I start a hobby when I have to take care of my 15-month-old baby?" Tags="|toddler|stay-at-home|time-management|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-23T03:52:59.190" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found that switching to e-Books (e.g. through the Kindle, iBooks, or Kobo apps on your phone, or tabled, or through dedicated readers) helps a situation such as you describe a bit, in that &lt;strong&gt;when&lt;/strong&gt; you have a moment of time, you can immediately pick up your book at the exact spot you stopped before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10122" LastActivityDate="2016-06-23T03:52:59.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-23T07:45:36.943" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Part of the challenge here is to not just use the baby's sleeping time. At 15 months old you should be able to get time for something like reading many times through the day, as they no longer need you 24/7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Reading should be something you can pick up and do at any time - even if it's just a page - so make the most of when your baby is occupied with a toy or feeding, for example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Various other hobbies are possible - but they need to be ones you can pick up for even a short space of time or ones you can do &lt;strong&gt;with&lt;/strong&gt; your toddler. I have friends who took up running (with their baby in a buggy), gardening, knitting and even hiking (with the baby in a backpack) so there is a lot you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-06-23T07:45:36.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26357" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-23T08:37:01.153" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the critical part to finding more time is to let go of the need to &quot;just to look after your child&quot;. As parents we might think that doing constant activities with and for the child is our job, when in fact: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The more we do (or toys do)…&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;the less our child does &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;the more our child thinks she needs us (or toys) to do for her &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;the less confident, capable, creative and fulfilled she feels&lt;sup&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/05/stop-entertaining-your-toddler-in-3-steps-2/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Free yourself from the need to entertain your child 24/7 while he or she is awake. Make sure your child is learning how to play independently without constant interaction with you. Of course you'll still need to provide the loving support that the child needs, checking in on a regular basis, and encouraging them. There are several books and articles on how to do this, including &quot;Stop Entertaining Your Toddler (In 3 Steps)&quot;, which is the source for the quote above. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some ideas for hobbies to take up while your child plays independently:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cooking or baking: Pick up a few new cookbooks from the library and try new recipes. Get some plastic food and pots and pans to put on the floor for your child to play with nearby. Or have him or her sit in a high chair with crayons or &lt;a href=&quot;http://dirtandboogers.com/25-sensory-tray-ideas/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;sensory trays&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Photography: get outside with your camera and your kid and take some pictures; read books on photography and find exercises to try. Let your child play with grass, bugs, flowers, sand, dirt, rocks, or balls and bubbles.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Learn how to play a musical instrument: get some toy musical instruments too, like maracas, xylophone, tambourine, etc. for your kid to play along&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastEditorUserId="17176" LastEditDate="2016-06-28T19:00:57.553" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T19:00:57.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-23T13:18:47.857" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Based on my experience&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Answering this as someone who decided to quit work and be a stay at home mum to raise my son. Leaving work can be frustrating especially when you know you're not used to being a stay at home mum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first I thought I couldn't make it but I gathered courage by simply looking for a hobby like you've asked. In my situation, I did mathematics in College and to higher level, so I decided to teach myself some programming, I bought a smart TV and decided to use youtube to teach myself programming since the resources are a lot. So whenever the baby would go to bed I'd switch youtube on and watch tutorials. So far, I learnt Java and C++, I had a previous knowledge of C language. So for the 17 month's I have learnt Java confidently and even decided to work on a free math android app for kid's which is on the app store already. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This made life easier for me because I was occupied. My baby now is 17 month's and I'm planning on going back to work when he's 24 month's. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice would be look around, you might get interested in many things, reading is a good suggestion, if you've worked before try advancing the skills by reading more on how to make yourself better on the field, so that when your baby is ready to go to school e.g you'll be good. Just from my experience. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastActivityDate="2016-06-23T13:18:47.857" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26360" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-23T15:42:08.770" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I 100% agree with all the posts above!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A couple of things to add. First, I'm not going to advise regarding your disatisfaction with your mother-in-law because that's, like, a whole different issue. Second, it sounds like there's some stuff going on under the surface. Like, the lack of a hobby is a symptom of a larger issue at play. I don't play a therapist on the internet, so for this I'll just say 1 thing: if you're at ALL resentful of your toddler for stealing away your freedom (this is something I'm 100% guilty of), your toddler will feel it. So point the flames of your resent somewhere else. Now, onto the hobby stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;OK, so you're stuck with this toddler and feel overwhelmed. Let's say the kid gets 12 hours of sleep/day and you get 8 hours. That leaves a good 4 hours of free time, obviously subtracting out chores. This is totally enough time for a new hobby, but I don't think that's the issue. The issue is the overwhelm, which leaves you sucked dry of energy. For me, dinner/bath/bed time leaves me like totally burned out sometimes, and I've got no energy left after the kid falls asleep to do anything productive. SO, two points here: (1) you're a parent, and being an awesome parent will usually come at the expense of your hobbies so get used to it! (And hey, take pride in that!); and (2) the big issue is personal energy--deal with the soul-sucking feeling of overwhelm and you'll probably have way more energy left to expend on hobbies at night. Not to mention a better overall parent during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some practical tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;For me, exercise helps with this exact issue. Oddly, 30 minutes of jogging somehow calms down my (unhealthy) ambitions to be a world-class hobbyist.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find a hobby that you can do w/ your kid. For me, I go on tree walks and identify all the trees I can find. My 2 year-old (usually) loves it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As you're doing hobbies w/ the kid, remember: slow down. Your toddler will rip up your newly-planted tomato plants, rip a page out of the book you're trying to read, and otherwise scream and fuss and intentionally make it so you can't do your hobby at all.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love the Gabriel Garcia Marquez quote: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;“Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers&#xA;  give birth to them, but life obliges them over and over again to give&#xA;  birth to themselves.”&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NO matter what, you'll have to reinvent your hobbies in the slim margins of, or somewhere within, your new life as a parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19078" LastEditorUserId="19078" LastEditDate="2016-06-24T03:28:24.757" LastActivityDate="2016-06-24T03:28:24.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26361" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26353" CreationDate="2016-06-23T15:50:05.773" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Her reactions are a learned behavior. She has learned that most of the time if she reacts a certain way, she will get what she wants. It is a painful process (mentally and emotionally) to undo a learned behavior like that, but it will be worth it in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, make sure you do not get into a &quot;dispute&quot; with her. When two people get into a dispute, they are sort of agreeing that they are on equal terms. You two are not, you are the parent. Tell her what she is doing isn't right, and that she is disturbing others around her. &lt;strong&gt;But do it with love. Do not be adversarial. Touch her face/arm or give her hugs as you talk to her.&lt;/strong&gt; When children act out on purpose, most of the time it is because they are not getting the attention they want, so they will settle for bad attention. Give her good attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will pick up my 5 year old and hold him ( not restrain, just hug ) while he freaks out and talk to him in his ear while he is yelling. I will ask him what he is upset about and such. After a few moments he will calm down enough to talk, even it is just to say &quot;Put me down!&quot; I do, and then I continue to talk to him and he starts to be able to enter into a conversation with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other tactic that may work is after talking to her about what she is doing, is to ignore her. My wife and I have had success with my three yr old boy this way. Being a learned behavior, they do it because it works. If you completely ignore her, she is also not getting the attention she wants, good or bad. Walk out of the store or public place without engaging her ( to get away from other people, because this will get loud for a while ). Don't engage her until she stops being loud. The initial &quot;unlearning&quot; is going to be the most difficult part. After a while she'll get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be incredibly difficult at times, but remember that a child's brain has not developed fully and is not capable of handling situations like adults can. It is our job to be calm and show the next generation how to be able to think while emotional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-06-23T15:55:12.837" LastActivityDate="2016-06-23T15:55:12.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26362" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26365" CreationDate="2016-06-23T17:17:08.420" Score="5" ViewCount="5641" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boyfriend's 8-will-be-9-in-a-month daughter is with us for the summer.  Her mom lives many states away so summer is dad/daughter time while mom has her for the school year.  &lt;strong&gt;I am having troubles with her trying to draw my attention to her every 10-30 minutes.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Some background:&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she came to us, it was really obvious that she is behind developmentally.  Last summer she could successfully shower herself with no issue when she and her dad stayed the weekend at my place.  The first several days this summer she could not wash her own hair because mom washes it for her until I walked her step by step how to.  She also struggled with brushing her hair.  Single digit addition &amp;amp; subtraction was a struggle.  She has poor fine motor skills compared to what I had at her age.  We've gotten her able to successfully shower on her own again, as well as brush her hair without issue.  She's practicing math each day with some games and it has gotten much better.  I'm not asking about any of this, I just want to give context here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Details of the issue&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She wants to be constantly near us and is seeking our attention.  Some ways she does this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My boyfriend and I had just walked over to the kitchen area from the living room where she was working on a puzzle.  Within minutes, she's walking over to give a hug. We were still in sight of her &amp;amp; the puzzle.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I have to take her to work so that she is not alone all day she is sitting right next to me and says things like &quot;Look&quot; to get me to look at her craft.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When I am working from home, she is downstairs on the couch playing/entertaining herself while I am working on the computer.  I am in sight of her and she still comes over to hug me / ask me questions (start conversations) / try to get me to look at something.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dad yells at her when she does this, such as  &quot;Stop coming over here just because we are.&quot; &quot;I told you to play in your room.&quot;  I tend to start gently reminding her the rules. &quot;What did I say about bugging me at work?  Drawing my attention is bugging me.  I need to concentrate.&quot;  I get more forceful each time I have to repeat myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Stuff we do together&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I get that this poor girl is starved for attention and I have been trying to give her attention.  For example she is in the kitchen about 1/2 the time I am helping me.  We make breakfast together on the weekends (sausage and eggs).  Through the week she makes herself oatmeal or cereal while I am fixing my breakfast and we eat breakfast together.  When I am cooking dinner, she mixes things and stirs things for me.  She sets the table to eat. When I am home for lunch/dinner we eat that together too (no real idea when I am not home if dad eats with her).  She helps me with housework like folding laundry.  I have gotten her some skill appropriate crafts and have worked WITH her on them.  I do my crafts on the couch next to her.  I try to find time to spend with her.  The other day I played dolls with her.  &lt;strong&gt;At work she is literally sitting next to me at my office desk with a book, coloring activities, and a craft to keep her busy.&lt;/strong&gt;  And every 10-30 minutes she is trying to get me to focus on her.  (When we are at my office I make sure it is for at most 4 hours because I know how boring it is, and I work from home when I can).  Being at work with me only happens when my boyfriend is scheduled to work during my work hours and I have meetings during that time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Closing remarks&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am an introvert and her constant attempts at getting my attention are wearing me down to the point where I don't have much energy of an evening to spend positive time with her because I need to be alone to recharge.  By not have enough energy &lt;em&gt;I'm talking about tired to the point of exhaustion and making myself sick.&lt;/em&gt;  And I do REALLY need her not to constantly bug me at work as I have to concentrate on what I am doing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are some ways to help her not seek my attention every 10-30 minutes?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The closest question I could find was &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18296/4-year-old-daughter-starved-for-dads-attention&quot;&gt;this one&lt;/a&gt; but it is for a 4 year old, and the accepted answer will not help, as she &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; already a part of most things I am doing from doing laundry, to watering the plants, to taking out the trash.  I have taken advantage of her willingness to help, but she cannot help me develop software at work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23573" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2022-02-20T04:23:16.757" Title="Almost 9 year old regularly seeking attention" Tags="|discipline|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26363" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5209" CreationDate="2016-06-23T17:22:28.243" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had the same problem.  My baby's diapers were always green (the pediatrician was not concerned).  I tried every gas remedy all day everyday.  Then when I started pumping I noticed most of my milk consisted of fat. I looked around in the Internet for causes of green diapers and high fat milk. People suggested block feeding, as this issue is caused by an oversupply (I was taking fenugreek). I switched to formula as I could no longer tolerate the pain my baby was going through. As soon as I made the switch, no more colicky symptoms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23574" LastActivityDate="2016-06-23T17:22:28.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26362" CreationDate="2016-06-23T17:57:53.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;That child is &lt;strong&gt;desperate&lt;/strong&gt; to feel loved. It is quite obvious she gets almost no attention at her mom's house, as she is developmentally behind. I would encourage you and her Dad to spend time with her. Do not put her in the same situation as with her Mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child is not just some nuisance to be dealt with until they are out of the house--sometimes it feels that way, I get it, I have 3--they are the little balls of play-doh that need to be molded into adults. Everything you do right now will teach her how to live and deal with events when she is older. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, if she asks to help you while cooking, TEACH HER. Bring her to you and show her what you are doing step by step. This makes her feel loved, included in the family, and gives her life skills. Doing activities like this with her will alleviate some of other attention seeking behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a child is difficult. No longer do we get to do what we want all of the time. You and the Dad need to shift your thought process away from the way it is now, to &quot;how can I equip this little person to be an adult&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastActivityDate="2016-06-23T17:57:53.257" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26365" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26362" CreationDate="2016-06-23T18:22:57.653" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems painfully obvious that this little girl is starved for attention.  The fact that you are not able to give her as much as she wants just leads her to be more clingy and needy, which, in turn leads you to push her away more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can totally understand your frustration.  I am an extremely introverted person also, and one of the most difficult things for me to adjust to when I became a mother was the loss of down-time.  Hardly a day goes by that I don't want to tell my daughter at some point &quot;stop bugging me and go entertain yourself&quot; but (and you are not going to want to hear this) that would only make things worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to think of ways that she can be near you without being too disruptive.  If you are cooking, try to find some small task that she can do.  My daughter also has delays and coordination issues (she can bathe herself but cannot manage to get the snarls out of her hair or wash it by herself), so it is difficult to think of things that she can do to help, but I ask her to stir soup or set the table or clean up a spill or take out the garbage.  I find that if I give her enough things to do she eventually gets tired of it and wanders off to read a book or watch TV just to get some time to herself :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there is something quiet that she likes to do, let her do it near you.  If she starts pestering tell her (calmly, do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; yell at her for needing your attention, your boyfriend needs to cultivate more patience) that if she can't be near you quietly she will have to go into another room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her work on her puzzle in the same room where you are reading a book.  Find some TV that you can watch together.  Read aloud to her, from a book that you enjoy.  Or have her read to you, maybe while you are cooking.  When you go shopping, take her with you.  If you have a task that she can participate in, try to make her a part of it, if you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the tricks is to rearrange your way of evaluating her participation in activities.  We are used to thinking &quot;will her participation in any way make this less work for me?&quot;  Instead, ask yourself &quot;is there any way I can include her in what I'm doing?&quot;  The more you include her, especially if she's &quot;working&quot; and not just playing, the more she will start seeking her own down-time.  And it might be that once you get used to having her helping you, you might find new pleasure in her company.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expecting a nine year old to sit and play by herself all day while you work is expecting too much.  You might be able to pull some hours while she watches a movie with headphones but it is not healthy for a child to be just sitting all day.  Maybe you could at least go for a brisk walk or jog for fifteen minutes every few hours?  If that isn't possible, for her sake and yours, you need to find some other arrangement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she is trying very hard to do as you ask her.  She can't stop needing what she needs, though.  She is lonely and starved for interaction with the only people she has access to.  Is there a way you can set up play-dates with other kids?  Do you have friends with compatible children?  Is some kind of summer day camp a possibility?  You didn't mention anything about your financial situation, but if you can afford it, this might be a good way to give her more exercise and social interaction.  Another possibility is to find a young high school or college grad looking to make some extra money and hire her to come by for a few hours and take your charge to the YMCA or the park, play board games, or other fun things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also might help if you set up a regular schedule for positive interactions with her.  For example, you might set aside 7 PM to 8 PM each day for an activity of her choice.  Making puzzles, watching TV, playing a game...whatever you do, you should do all together.  You, her father and her.  And if you make this promise to her, and &lt;em&gt;keep&lt;/em&gt; it, it might be that she will be able to wait with more patience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Addition:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an idea. Have a timer and tell her &quot;we're going to &quot; after I get 2 hours with absolutely no interruptions.&quot; Each time she interrupts, you restart the timer (oopsy, darn, we need to start over). If that works you can gradually increase the time. Be sure she has something quiet (but engaging) to do while you work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's another idea...you and she can be doing something together if you are both &quot;working&quot;.  There are a lot of great educational apps out there (does she have an iPad or anything similar?).  If you give her schoolwork or something else that engages her mind while the timer is running, you can treat both of yourselves to fun things after &quot;work&quot; (maybe ice cream, or a walk in the park).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That gives her something to look forward to, and can help her wait quietly, knowing she has a treat coming.  I'd tell her that you have a certain amount of work that needs to get done each day, and if you can get it done faster (read: without interruptions) you will be able to stop working sooner and you and she will have more time for fun.  If she can't manage to keep from interrupting you, then, regretfully, you won't have time for the treat.  Make sure she knows you are disappointed because you were looking forward to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-06-27T17:18:23.103" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T17:18:23.103" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26367" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-24T03:16:07.000" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your baby is a hobby!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your beautiful child is a commitment. At 15 months, you've been through the infant stage, one of the tougher ones. Your child is around the point where he'll/she'll be walking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;This is the fun part!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're almost at the point where you can take your baby to the park. He'll want to take little walks outside, or get pushed in a buggy. What on earth could be more exciting than having a little person who trusts you and &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to be with you and spend time with you?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will grow. Pretty soon, he'll start finding his own hobbies. Then he'll decide what he wants to do when he grows up. Then he'll be gone. You will have, in theory, all the time in the world. And, unless I miss my guess, you'll hate it. You will miss this, believe it or not. This stage only comes once in your child's lifetime. Savor it. Make it a hobby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other hobbies...&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for other things that you can do when you have a spare minute ('cause yes, you still get to keep a &lt;em&gt;little&lt;/em&gt; of your sovereignty ;P) I suggest getting a kindle. I love my kindle. You can take it with you to lunch and read while eating, between your and your child's bites. You can have it in your lap in a chair while watching your child play in the living room. It's a great tool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While learning a musical instrument has been suggested, given your current situation and the neediness of the child, this seems like it could present a bit of a challenge. However, listening to music is an amazing thing. And by music, I don't mean just pop. Branch out! Try some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.gumballmachiner.com/_-favorite-vivaldi-songs-will-get-hooked&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;classical&lt;/a&gt; music, or even some &lt;a href=&quot;https://quinersdiner.com/2016/02/19/carlos-jobim-and-herbie-hancock-jam/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;jazz&lt;/a&gt;! Do a little research and find out what to listen &lt;em&gt;for&lt;/em&gt; in whatever category you decide you listen to. Become an expert! Your music player will be your best friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;God bless you and your child!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23578" LastActivityDate="2016-06-24T03:16:07.000" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26368" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-24T03:29:16.600" Score="4" ViewCount="291" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 2.5 year old boy. One of the problems that we are facing with him at play time is he wants to play with what the other kids are playing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At play time, if he sees another kid is playing with something, he will go to that kid and grab it. Recently since he is doing it with our neighbor's kid's toy, we have purchased a similar toy as our neighbor has. Now he doesn't want to play with this toy and wants other kid's toys still.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes he bullies other kids and grabs their toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes other kid's shares toy in their hand and he goes for another toy. After some time he leaves the toy that he is playing with and goes for the toy the other kid is playing with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I correct and control this behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2017-07-23T02:02:14.470" LastActivityDate="2017-07-23T02:02:14.470" Title="2.5 years old kid is want toys that other Kids have at play time" Tags="|toys|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26369" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23496" CreationDate="2016-06-24T10:46:14.820" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child screaming during sleep can be quite disturbing. If the child is actually screaming loudly and perhaps thrashing, it could be what is known as night terrors. During these episodes, the child is not actually awake, though they sometimes appear to be due to the sound and movements not usually found during a sleep cycle. Since the child is not awake, it can be very difficult to calm him. He is unaware of your presence, let alone your soothing voice or calming touch. Most children outgrow these episodes. In the meantime, go to your child, make sure he is unable to accidentally harm himself, such as falling out of bed or becoming too twisted in blankets. If the screaming is accompanied by head banging, make sure the child's head is hitting nothing other than a soft pillow. You can speak calmly, try soft music, or touch a hand to provide comfort. Do not try to wake the child. This can be confusing to the child and your inability to fully wake him may cause further agitation. Before bed, make sure his environment is calming and the child is relaxed. This may help him fall asleep more comfortably and remain in the calmer state. Aromatherapy can be tried. Avoid large meals or exercise right before bed. Perhaps a story or lullaby will help the child to start out relaxed, with the hope of staying that way and minimizing the terrors. They will pass. Remain patient and don't panic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23579" LastActivityDate="2016-06-24T10:46:14.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26370" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-24T13:04:50.237" Score="4" ViewCount="190" Body="&lt;p&gt;How might one deal with a 5 1/2 yo who wants money to buy junk food at day camp?  For example, gatorade costs $1 and a snow cone costs $2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would rather the young fellow eat the nutritious lunch I pack for him, with healthy foods he likes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T13:36:08.690" Title="5 1/2 yo wants money to buy junk food at day camp" Tags="|junkfood|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26371" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26370" CreationDate="2016-06-24T14:33:31.447" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gatorade isn't really &quot;junk&quot;. I would give him $1 only per day. He can buy the Gatorade, or &quot;save&quot; so that he can buy a snowcone in 2 days. A lot of lessons there -- having a budget, delaying gratification. My opinion: it is important for him to have &lt;em&gt;some&lt;/em&gt; freedom to buy stuff with his friends at a special more-independent place like camp. Even if he has more restrictions when at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastActivityDate="2016-06-24T14:33:31.447" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-25T09:58:08.353" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Would part-time child care be an option? Even if its just a few hours a week, it would give you time to get away from the house, your baby and your mother-in-law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if you can find something that involves getting out of the house on a regular basis, like a class, then you could rope your MIL in as a baby-sitter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T09:58:08.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26376" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-25T13:21:05.620" Score="5" ViewCount="1066" Body="&lt;p&gt;Questions like &quot;you and mom were happy when I cried loud when I was born?&quot; (because some day we've said that babies that born crying loud usually is considered a sign of good health) or &quot;what's your favorite color besides blue?&quot; (because the answer is yellow) and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that a 7-yrs old child likes this repetition thing (watching the same movie again and again and etc) and probably this is related to the way the brain is stimulated to &quot;feel safe&quot; when you get what you expect (which may be related to the way the brain does not like &quot;frustration&quot; which is not getting what you expect).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd just want to understand better why she asks the same question everyday at the same time. Obviously, she knows the answer, but I'd like to know if this is a normal process for this age, if this means she wants to check if some day we're going to give a different answer or if she just want to feel closer talking to me and my wife.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20585" LastActivityDate="2016-06-26T18:42:44.027" Title="My 7-yrs old daughter asks the same questions everyday at the same time" Tags="|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26368" CreationDate="2016-06-25T13:30:10.200" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems you obviously have to teach your kid not to do that. Buying a similar toy won't help, because your child will understand that he will get what he want if he take the toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you must teach your kid to share his own toys, so he can understand that in the same way you can ask someone else's toy, you must be able to do the same. I think this &quot;exchanging&quot; process is nice because, just like other big primates, humans have this sense of &quot;justice&quot; built in, so it's something that we're sort of &quot;programmed&quot; to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20585" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T13:30:10.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23168" CreationDate="2016-06-25T13:30:46.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My twins are always figuring out new ways to mess with each other. They're 29 months. Bedtime has always been hard. Whenever you change your strategy you should give it a week, 4 days minimum to see if there's any difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could brute force it over and over, keep telling them it's not time for games, it's time for sleep, and lead them by the hand back to the bed. Eventually they will get tired and maybe even take the suggestion after a few days. I would probably keep the interaction to a minimum. Usually my twins are so exhausted they can't be reasoned with at that time of night. It takes all of their focus and attention just to answer yes and no questions. So I try to stay away from anything that involves them thinking and that might make them more alert.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I find helps is that when they are doing the undesired behavior, I tell them that what they are doing is indeed playing, and that it's not time for games right now, it's time for sleep. I found that they don't often know what I'm talking about when I call &quot;games&quot; or &quot;playing&quot; or simply &quot;that&quot; in the phrase &quot;stop that.&quot; They think playing is something you do with friends or in the playground so they were confused. It made a big difference when I said &quot;That's playing. It's not time to play. It's time to sleep. I love you. You're a good boy. Goodnight.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck! :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;:)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6706" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T13:30:46.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26379" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26370" CreationDate="2016-06-25T13:36:08.690" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Tough question, gray zone here IMO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My vote is 5 1/2 is still too young to make good decisions. If your child, in YOUR opinion, can't yet understand why healthy food is better, then it's up to you to restrict what he eats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Socialization is always important, but sure he can socialize playing. And each family has its own rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20585" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T13:36:08.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26380" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-25T13:46:30.367" Score="-2" ViewCount="223" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son likes to play with other children, but eventually he hits them when he got mad on them. Then I just get him from their playground and tell him to stay at home and play alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this the right approach or is there a better one?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23586" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-15T13:28:37.167" LastActivityDate="2019-02-15T13:28:37.167" Title="How to make my son stop hitting his playmate?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|social-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26381" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-25T17:09:51.317" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give the kid to the mother in law for a couple of hours per day, getting out of the house if necessary for some alone time.  However, you will have to live with the mother in law taking care of the kid her way during those hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T17:09:51.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26362" CreationDate="2016-06-25T17:18:19.390" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get her father to take her one weekend day per week without you, so you have time to recharge.  After all, she's his daughter, not yours, even though you seem to be doing a much better job at parenting than her actual parents are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T17:18:19.390" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26380" CreationDate="2016-06-25T19:18:22.707" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I work in a school and the way we deal with this type of behaviour is to remind the child that they must use &quot;kind hands&quot; when playing with their friends. We set clear rules that if &quot;kind hands&quot; aren't used the child will then be removed from playing with their friend for 5 minutes and have to sit in silence away from everyone. Then they are introduced back into play time, if the behaviour continues they gradually become removed for longer periods of time. They tend to get the picture once they've spent most of the time removed from the situation. I hope this helps :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23588" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T19:18:22.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26384" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-25T21:05:27.667" Score="-1" ViewCount="547" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 16. He's applied for cheerleading as a hobby. Me and my wife thought it was good, he's athletic and into sports. The cheer squad is not affiliated with his highschool.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue at hand is the uniforms. His coach has said he has to wear a crop top and skirt (like the rest of the cheerleaders) with a sports bra and black, blue or red Spanx underneath, and that there is no male equivalent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He told me he felt embarrased about the uniform and tried to sensibly discuss it with her but she said there wasn't an alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is worried about this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel like confronting this woman and giving her a piece of my mind but my wife says we should both confront her. Our son is unsure of how to handle this and worries about the whole thing. How can we address the issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23589" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-06-26T22:31:19.400" LastActivityDate="2016-06-26T22:31:19.400" Title="How should I discuss the cheerleading squad uniform policy with the coach?" Tags="|communication|sports|family-activities|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2016-06-27T18:34:46.980" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26385" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-25T21:36:20.113" Score="65" ViewCount="31901" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter Angela (not her real name), who's 15, showed us a Facebook message she received from her friend Lauren (not her real name), who's 15, it said basically that Lauren had been faking having cancer, and that it was just a scam to gain money. The Facebook private message was sent on Tuesday. Angela showed us it this morning, we didn't ask her about her social media, she told us directly. She showed us a message from Lauren's mum which basically equated to &quot;ha ha, we scammed you!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Angela doesn't use Facebook often, except to communicate with her cousins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lauren appeared in our local paper (a small local one) with an appeal to raise money for the cancer treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We know Lauren in person. Lauren goes to the same school as Angela and they were friends since they were 12. We know Lauren's parents and thought they were nice people but now should we be wary of her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now our daughter is devastated, and isn't trusting of new people, she doesn't even want to go out to events with us, even though we've got a holiday to Spain booked in the next few weeks. Normally she looks forward to holidays... now she's dreading it. She said she's had nightmares and flashbacks about this since Tuesday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me and my husband are worried about this, what do we do next?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23590" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-06-27T15:09:42.110" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T13:47:15.150" Title="My daughter's friend faked having cancer - our daughter found out via Facebook and is devastated. What do we do?" Tags="|school|friends|social-media|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="15" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-25T22:25:29.923" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Welcome to se.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are many possibilities behind the scene..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lauren might have a different reason behind this, it being a legit or not is totally based on her ethics, and if course Angela shouldn't get ideas that it's ok to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Misunderstanding between friends happen all the time, communication would solve 80% and the other 20% might not be worth sorting it out. If Angela thinks there might be a different reason, Lauren a good friend and she wouldn't hide such a thing from Angela, she can always talk to Lauren and ask her why she would do such a thing and explain couple of consequences. If Angela thinks it's not worth poking her nose, stay away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I were Angela's parent I, would explain the above and add the following advice &lt;em&gt;World is not always fair and honest all the time, Angela shouldn't be sensitive and deprive herself when such back sets. It happens all the in real world. Leasson lernt, move on.. Yes its hard to digest the fact that your best friend is doing this to the world, agreed. But that's not the end of the world. And there are going to plenty of other friends she will/can always make. In the flip side: if you keep judging people, you can't love them&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: I'm no expert in parenting/cancer/facebook &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13161" LastActivityDate="2016-06-25T22:25:29.923" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-25T23:40:52.727" Score="33" Body="&lt;p&gt;Give it time; time helps a lot. It's only been a few days, and this is quite a shock, especially to your daughter who probably worried for her friend's health/life. She's experienced a profound betrayal. It will be deeply disturbing for a while, but the intensity will fade with time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever else this is, it's also an opportunity to talk to your daughter about how there are people in the world who hold different values than you do, but reassure her that most people are decent and trustworthy. Lauren is only one person; an important person, but still only one of many. Take your vacation and take some opportunities to point out the goodness you see in others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Lauren goes to the same school as Angela and they were friends since they were 12. We know Lauren's parents and thought they were nice people but now should we be wary of her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you should. She and her parents are people with an unethical worldview. They are dishonest and they are taking advantage of the goodness of other people. It's hard enough to form trusting relationships when people play by the same rules; how can you trust people who completely disregard a value you hold highly? But wariness (implying wisdom) does not &lt;em&gt;necessarily&lt;/em&gt; mean turning your back on Lauren.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might help your daughter to have a talk with &quot;Lauren&quot; to find out if she was coerced by her parents into doing this, which is a real possibility (since her parents know she doesn't have cancer yet allowed this to go on.) If she was coerced, it might help your daughter to know that initially at any rate, this was not Lauren's idea. Lauren may well be a victim here of a kind of parental abuse. She will pay a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/200903/adolescent-lying-what-it-costs-and-what-do&quot;&gt;very high price&lt;/a&gt; when the truth comes out, and your daughter needs to decide for herself (with some help) if she will want to stay friends with Lauren or whether the relationship is broken beyond repair. (Some of this might depend on whether Lauren comes out with the truth.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there's a school counselor she can talk with about this, encourage her to do so. If the parties involved in the scam are trying still to keep it a secret, the counselor should be bound by the nature of her relationship with your daughter to keep it a secret if your daughter doesn't want to expose her friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You haven't asked what you should do with this information. If it was only given to your daughter, it puts you all in a tough spot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-06-26T20:42:31.900" LastActivityDate="2016-06-26T20:42:31.900" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26388" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-26T04:07:43.373" Score="0" ViewCount="315" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby girl has completed 5 months yesterday. She doesn't have good head control. And I am worried. When I lift her in my arms, she does not control her head and leans backward from waist. Plz to reply for this:-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23591" LastActivityDate="2016-08-01T09:04:37.210" Title="Head control of 6 month old baby" Tags="|infant|development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2017-06-02T12:26:10.497" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26384" CreationDate="2016-06-26T04:55:38.167" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is perfectly reasonable for your son to want to wear clothing that is an accurate representation of his gender identity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would be a good idea to find out if the coach is okay with you supplying a guy-version of the uniform. Perhaps one could be designed or a generic uniform for guy cheerleaders altered as an adequate replacement. I don't know who pays for these things, but you (or your son) may need to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the coach is dead-set on him dressing like a girl, it may be a good idea to reevaluate his suitability for the team.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is just my opinion: It sounds like the coach is quite old-school in her views and may be making this difficult because she doesn't like having a guy on her team. Many cheerleading teams have guys on them, however some people still think that guys shouldn't be doing something like this and maybe she is one of them. In which case, I'd recommend considering seriously if this is the kind of adult you want coaching your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19750" LastActivityDate="2016-06-26T04:55:38.167" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26348" CreationDate="2016-06-26T13:53:19.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Isn't rusk supposed to be dry? Just wondering, if the baby is 8 month's and no teeth definitely this will make it difficult for him and rough, maybe you should try to see if he will like the small smooth biscuits for beginners; and maybe try those at 13+ month's when he has some teeth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not an expert but I introduced fruits to my boy at 8 month's, I'd cut them in small pieces then let him pick them up and eat. ;) he really enjoyed it, then at 13+ some biscuits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastActivityDate="2016-06-26T13:53:19.890" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26392" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-26T14:35:21.380" Score="3" ViewCount="5018" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm on the hunt for an inexpensive stroller to accommodate a newborn &lt;em&gt;without having to buy a travel system&lt;/em&gt; and I'm having a really really hard time finding a stroller in any price range that will accept a newborn. The general advice I get from the not so helpful sales staff at most baby gear super stores is that infants &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to be flat in the stroller.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is my fourth child, and my old stroller finally died. I don't want to invest a whole lot of money in any more baby gear because I'm done after this baby. I already have an infant car seat, and I loathe those stupid baby carriers (the ones with the handles that you carry, not the ones you wear) that only exist to dislocate shoulders and ruin backs. So, I don't want a stroller that requires either one of those in order for it to be used by a newborn (under 3 mo).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have found a few models in both jogger and traditional styles that recline pretty far, but not quite flat. And then I got to thinking about it, and newborns aren't flat in the car seat or those carriers, or in the little bouncy seats (that most of my kids spend the first 8 weeks sleeping in due to problems with reflux).  By pretty far I mean, an incline of less than 15 degrees.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So would &lt;em&gt;almost&lt;/em&gt; flat be acceptable, perhaps with head stabilization? Or should I just get an inexpensive carrier to leave in a travel system stroller and hope it stays clean enough to sell on Craigslist once my baby grows out of it (usually by 10 weeks)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You'd think by #4 Id have this figured out, but, I guess no matter how many kids you have, you never know everything!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2017-08-28T11:24:55.207" Title="Does a newborn/infant need to lay flat in a stroller" Tags="|infant|safety|stroller|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-26T18:10:25.103" Score="130" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm from the UK too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Call the parents and check the message was actually sent by them, it seems rather stupid that they would volunteer that information for no reason. I have had my Facebook hacked around four times usually by friends but once by a complete idiot who messaged all my family and friends some mean stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has admitted it and you know it was a scam, you have an obligation tell the police as soon as possible for two major reasons; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Lauren may keep on doing it creating more victims and more misery. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is important to show your daughter that people are held accountable for their crimes. It would send a powerful message if she sees Lauren getting away with it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23598" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-07-01T06:34:54.330" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T06:34:54.330" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26395" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26376" CreationDate="2016-06-26T18:42:44.027" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son does this. He is 8 yo and has done this for years. He asks the same questions over and over even though he knows the answer. Sometimes we turn the question back on him and ask him the same question and he gives us the answer. He has been diagnosed with a progressing language impairment as well as ADHD so we believe that he is trying to process the world and by asking the same question. Does your child get &quot;stuck&quot; on other things? Our son gets stuck on certain thoughts which is part of his ADHD, related to obsessive compulsive characteristics but he has never been diagnosed with OCD. &#xA;We try to be patient and explain things in different ways to help him process. Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23599" LastActivityDate="2016-06-26T18:42:44.027" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26396" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-26T18:50:58.497" Score="1" ViewCount="11811" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 7 week old baby and I stay home with him. The days can be long. I run out of ideas of how to entertain him. He doesn't talk or walk or crawl. He can't hold any toys. I don't want to always lie him on his back because of fear of a flat head but dont want to carry him. Also I feel that he isn't stimulated enough if I lay him down while I do other things. Please help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23599" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T08:16:26.080" Title="How do you entertain a 7 week old infant?" Tags="|newborn|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26401" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26396" CreationDate="2016-06-27T09:27:34.370" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everything is new for a small baby and everything is stimulating as they discover the environment around them. Change in lighting, a new sound or a colorful object can evoke a response. What cause it doesn't matter as it's all new.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they can hold their head up consider getting a chair so they can watch you. Move the chair around the house following you. If they don't like sitting for long periods maybe get a sling. Slings can be very comforting, especially as it's close, warm and they can hear your voice. Perfect for a sleep or watching and listening as you carry on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding slings, I recommend you find a group that can advise you on correct usage and positioning of your child especially the 'M' position. In the UK for example: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/sling-safety&quot;&gt;https://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/sling-safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23608" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T09:27:34.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-27T10:12:01.750" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Angela got message from her friend via Facebook with &quot;Ha, Ha, I've scammed you.&quot; Who guarantees to you that the &lt;em&gt;message&lt;/em&gt; is true and the &lt;em&gt;cancer&lt;/em&gt; was all made up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Calm down. What do (did) you think about them? What do (did) Angela think about them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who will profit from such message? If the cancer was faked; why confess when there is no doubt against you? If it was not; why be dishonest? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From that point of view, the message was faked and Angela was not meant to be humiliated — she was chosen as a tool to humiliate Laureen. And it is quite probable that Angela is not the only one who got the message. In that scenario there is no time to waste waiting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest meeting Laureen's parents and discuss it and get &lt;strong&gt;sure&lt;/strong&gt; whether the message is fake or not. &quot;Hey Tom, Angela got this message, are you sure your account wasn't hacked?&quot; You can also prepare evidence of such statement (medical report). Then talk to Angela and explain what has happened and why. Give her a time and support her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In both cases try to bring to the end — a scam or slander was commited.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe, Laureen and her parents are the ones who need the help. If they are target of slander, try to support them — all three of you. It looks like Laureen was (meant to be) Angela's best friend; if you prove Laureen is trustworthy, the nightmares should fade away and she will learn to double-check information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23607" LastEditorUserId="178" LastEditDate="2016-06-27T12:08:20.837" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T12:08:20.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26396" CreationDate="2016-06-27T11:08:44.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't do much...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you fear Flat Head that much, you should buy a helmet. Else, just let your kid sleep and rest on his own, somewhere where you can see him and where he can see you. You don't hold your kid when you sleep. It's the same when you are awake. You might want to find some soft support to put him. (We use babymove's doomoo but there should be a lot of possibilities.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for entertainment, at his age there is not a lot to do : your kids has to get through some developmental stages before really interacting with his environment. From personal experience, a house pet will do better than most toys to help your kid stimulate himself. Not that we let the cats raise our daughter ! But when she is playing on her mat, she tends to stop whatever she is doing as soon as one of them come close. Sometime, when she is crying, if one of them arrives to her before us, it'll be enough to calm her (works like a charm during naps).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all, don't cut yourself from life and don't over stress : a happy, caring, parent will have a happier baby.&#xA;And a sign you might be a good parent (I don't know you and thus can't judge) : you ask yourself if you are doing well and enough.&#xA;Once your kid starts to recognize you and is able to start expressing himself, the smiles will be indication enough of your results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T11:08:44.163" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-27T11:38:54.373" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Assuming everything you've been told is true, it's an example of a &quot;cancer fraud&quot; scam. It's a crime and it's more common than most people realise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Like all alleged crimes, it's the job of the police to establish if it's true. They can do things you can't, like check actual hospital records. If it turns out it was a malicious prank (maybe someone hacked both Lauren and her parent's Facebook accounts?), it'll be very easy for the police to confirm that Lauren really did have cancer, then judge if it's worth investigating the slander/hacking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.scambusters.org/cancerfraud.html&quot;&gt;Scambusters have a page on it&lt;/a&gt;. I recommend reading the whole page, here's an excert:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;h2&gt;How this type of cancer fraud works&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In many instances, people fake cancer, allowing friends and family to raise funds to support medical treatments that never happen. Communities rally around the thieves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Reports have documented that cancer fraud thieves have raised as much as $40,000 and spent as little as 3 days in jail for their crimes!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, if you’re questioning the validity of a cancer victim’s claims, it’s difficult to ask a cancer victim to ‘prove it.’ After all, that seems quite heartless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Additionally, the police are finding that it isn’t difficult for cancer fraud thieves to forge documentation that proves their claim.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They advise:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;If you’ve already donated and have since discovered that you’ve been a victim of cancer fraud, contact your local police. Many of these cases are successfully prosecuted. Visit our charity fraud page for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important point: if this is true, &lt;strong&gt;it's a criminal offence&lt;/strong&gt;. Other people have suggested that you should sleuth up and investigate if it's true: but that's the police's job. Collect as much evidence as you can, including talking to friends who might be in the same position as you, take it to the police, and then it's up to them to find out what really happened. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been several examples of cancer fraud cases his in the UK press in recent years. As usual it's the extreme cases that get reported on where victims lost large sums of money. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fake-cancer-fraudster-preyed-kind-7276417&quot;&gt;Here's one&lt;/a&gt;, here's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/cancer-lie-victim-built-up-11363943&quot;&gt;another&lt;/a&gt;. Often the lies get out of hand and escalate, large sums of money change hands, and victims are traumatised by the betrayal of trust as much as the financial loss. Here's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/she-is-sick-sick-sick-lecturer-conned-by-teenage-student-who-claimed-to-have-terminal-cancer-says-her-life-has-been-ruined-by-the-ordeal-34310898.html&quot;&gt;a very extreme example&lt;/a&gt; of how the lies can escalate when people feel they're getting away with it, and how elaborate they can become in the most extreme cases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7794" LastEditorUserId="7794" LastEditDate="2016-06-27T11:56:12.690" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T11:56:12.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-27T14:15:31.610" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Things to learn for your daughter: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If her best friend says she has cancer, be happy if you find out she is lying, because it's better than if she had said the truth. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Any news that you hear, don't react rashly, take your time to find out what really happened, and why it happened, and react to it properly when you have thought about it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It's Ok to lock yourself into your room for half an hour and scream against the wall as long as you come out and feel better and calmer after it, and as long as only your mother or father hear it :-) &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the girl was indeed lying, that's her problem, not yours. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-06-28T00:42:48.903" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T00:42:48.903" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26408" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-27T17:17:38.333" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This one is tricky. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me state that I am American, and while I don't see what that has to do with anything, out side of the legal stuff, it seems important to you, so, take that into consideration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to tell where to start. I would start by explaining to my child that these things happen. That not all people are good, and that not all people are bad. Sometimes with think someone is our friend and they turn out to be a bad person. I would also stress that because a friend did a bad thing, that doesn't make them a bad person all the way around, and it doesn't make them not a friend. I would stress that a person can be a friend even if they do bad things or are a bad person, and that is one of the most complicated things about friendship. I would also stress that she (Angela) needs to think on it, and really decide if she want's to remain friends with someone that has such a different out look on things. I would try to stress, using other real world examples, that people's morality is often different and that while Angela thinks what happened is a bad thing her friend may not see it as a bad thing. I would stress that dealing with these types of complications are part of what it means to be an adult, and that she is becoming an adult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That should address the &quot;she did bad stuff&quot; part of the problem. Next up is the betrayal. &quot;My fiend has cancer&quot; would really stress most of us. We would worry about them, and spend some time wondering about their future. I would try to explain that she (Angela) needs to really consider if she can trust her friend any more, and if not, how are they going to continue to be friends? I would tell Angela some stories from my past, where I had to deal with similar betrayal. The general idea is to let her know she is not alone in this and it happens to all of us. All of us had to deal with something like this (the loss of trust), and Angela needs to know that. She needs to know that it's not something she did or some fault of hers, but just part of being an adult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next up, I would (maybe you would not) stress that she needs to do the legal thing. Friend or not, she has a legal responsibility to report the information to the police. This will be stressful for her, but important. It will create a &quot;break&quot; of responsibility. A clear line of &quot;Look, your my friend, but I can not support, and will not support you breaking the law and defrauding people.&quot; This will allow Angela, in time, to be able to say, &quot;I did the right thing, even if she didn't.&quot; Everyone feels different about this part, and that's ok. You will have to decide what's right for your family. I believe in &quot;The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke)&quot; but you may take a different approach. The important thing is that Angela feel that she is doing what is right, even though that may be against the friendship. This will be hard for her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last part if this is &quot;She said she's had nightmares and flashbacks about this since Tuesday.&quot; That is pretty troubling. First you need to decide if that is a real thing or not. I doubt &quot;flashbacks&quot;. That may be being over dramatic. Anyone that has real flashbacks because of something like this needs some help adjusting and it may be time to see a psychiatrist. Remember that flashbacks are a symptom of serious mental health issues.  That being said, shes 14 and probably just doesn't know how to describe what she is feeling and has picked a word that she has seen on TV or in books. If you decide that she is having real flashbacks then do see a therapist. Nightmares would be much more understanding. We dream to learn. As this is the first time she has had to deal with this, it's normal that she have dreams about it, specially while she is trying to figure out what she should do and what it means. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately with nightmares, there's not much to do. Make sure she goes to bed happy. Amp up the new experiences so that she has more to process in her sleep. But remember that dreaming is a natural way for our minds to figure out stuff. Nightmares are just bad dreams. So this is not surprising. I would tell her, that it's normal. I would share with her a time that I had nightmares, and explain that there a natural way to figure out things. In the morning, I would try and talk to her about them, and more importantly how she feels about what happened in them. She is a teenager, so that may not work, but it's worth a try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it comes to hanging out with Laura, take a break. No matter what is decided about continuing the friendship, taking a break is not a bad idea.  I would go with, internal to the family, &quot;While you decide what you want to do about your friendship with Laura, we will just take a break from them. No harm in that. Friends take breaks at times.&quot; I would try to emphises that  it's Angela's decision, and that you will support her either way. I would also stress that you have to make decisions as the parent, so there may be some new restrictions no matter what, but that you will support Angela's decision either way. You need to be careful not to turn this into &quot;Wow I wish we could hang with Laura's parents but noooo you had to go and make x decision.&quot; While you may never actually do that, you need to make sure you don't come off like that. The idea is to support her decision regarding the continued friendship, but also make sure that Angela and the rest of your family are safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T17:17:38.333" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26362" CreationDate="2016-06-27T19:38:02.373" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What you describe makes me think that she is not only starving for attention, but for physical contact.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there anyway that besides the 'chores' you do with her, you can do something that involves snuggling? Like watching a family movie, reading a book to/with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to think of her need of physical contact and attention in terms of a younger kid than her actual age. When I work from home with my 5 or 3 year old, they do need to come by my computer and see what I am doing. I usually give a quick hug, tell them I love them, and then tell them that I need to work and they can't sit on me. I then suggest something for them to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;She is also probably quite upset of her dad yelling at her for 'bugging him' - she is visiting to see him.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you need to have a conversation with your boyfriend about what you can do for his girl (I assume you are interested in helping her, not just making her go away). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From your description it seems like he needs to step it up. He needs to be very patient with her and her needs, especially as she is developmentally delayed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He probably needs to reassure her lots and lots that he loves her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should also really try to do some fun outings as a family together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;last thing - is it possible for you both to take a week off and be on vacation with her? Even if it is just at home. Then after that, maybe she needs something to do like a summer camp. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T19:38:02.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-27T20:25:49.333" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could spend a large part of each day with your infant strapped to your back while you pursue any one of hundreds of activities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have seen young women with a baby in a front or back sling happily throwing pots, pruning plants, baking bread, hiking, shopping, and so forth. You could hand out flyers at the mall. Sacagawea Charbonneau explored a quarter of North America with her newborn son on her back; he was 19 mos old by the time she finished. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you can't do just any old thing. Discouraged activities would include bicycling, rafting, jogging, fencing. Attending a concert or the cinema would be problematical. Grouse shooting is right out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing about an active hobby is that your baby will have a great appetite and no trouble sleeping. Also you will be much too tired to give a fig about whatever your mother-in-law has to say about anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20278" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T20:25:49.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18763" CreationDate="2016-06-27T20:59:46.877" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I upvoted almost all the answers so I feel bad for accepting my own.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I finally got through to him about 6 months ago.  Basically I grounded him from everything, and he still wasn't doing his homework.  I found out he had a couple of Cs and told them if they weren't Bs that football was done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What surprised me is that about 2 weeks of ground him into oblivion we had a conversation that I really didn't understand and in a way I still don't.  Basically he wanted me to help him schedule things and be in his business.  He said he didn't even trust himself and wanted to be made to study certain hours, be home at certain times and so on.    This was very surprising to me because at 16 I never had a parent look at any homework and the last thing I wanted was my parents in my business.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought it was some of his mind games at first.  He is smart and I thought he was just trying to deflect responsibility to us.  In a way he was but he actually needed the help - not just making up a story.  We moved him upstairs by our bedroom, no internet without a door being open, tell him has has to do X homework before he can watch TV.  Basically treat him like he is 9 years old.  But he likes it, had done great, and attitude has changed.  I think that he thought that I didn't care because I was giving him freedom when in reality I was giving him freedom so he could grow up.  So short term this is working great but not sure what it does when he is in college.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also sat down 2-3 times a week to go over his homework, test schedule and so on.  I emailed his teachers and made him turn in late stuff even if it counted as a 0.  Two things he realized - from the math and his future grades.  #1 is if homework is 20% of your grade it is still a huge deal.  He wasn't doing it thinking if he turned in more than half it was just -10% on his grade.  Well that made it where he needed a solid B on tests to get a B in the class.  #2 by not doing the homework he would intrinsically do worse on the tests.  So he learned that just doing the homework without much/no studying was an easy B on the test, where he was cramming the night before to get a C.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I really don't get it.  The kid wants his parents up in his business.  He also seems perfectly fine with moving upstairs when he had basically a 2-bedroom apartment to himself in our basement.  I am not really sure where this is all from - he has gotten tons of attention and have really always been in his business before.  He got good grades the last two semesters, and got a 31 on his ACT.  He is seeing how his grades are going to keep him from getting into top tier colleges but I guess that is a life lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7004" LastActivityDate="2016-06-27T20:59:46.877" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26414" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-28T00:09:45.913" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;All the answers and comments have addressed almost every possible angle, so I wanted to focus on this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Now our daughter is devastated, and isn't trusting of new people, she doesn't even want to go out to events with us, even though we've got a holiday to Spain booked in the next few weeks. Normally she looks forward to holidays... now she's dreading it. She said she's had nightmares and flashbacks about this since Tuesday.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to say that this sounds pathological to me; maybe you should consult with a doctor/therapist? I'm not saying that one shouldn't feel bad for being used (I consider myself particularly sensitive at that) but &quot;not going to events&quot; and &quot;dreading a holiday&quot; sound completely disproportionate. Just a couple of days ago I had to deal with my teenage daughter being scammed off $500 when she tried to sell her camera; of course she felt bad about it, but these are not life-changing events (as having real cancer is). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7389" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T00:09:45.913" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26416" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26430" CreationDate="2016-06-28T01:19:42.370" Score="2" ViewCount="244" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if babies should start having a sense of independence this early (unless if I'm confusing it with being stubborn ), my boy 17 months now; doesn't want to be assisted when he gets stuck in a situation while playing. He rather prefers crying and pushing himself until he gets himself out of that situation (here the situation being, the things he's trying to connect are not fitting in). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has become devastating in the house because when you try to help him he will cry hysterically and put the thing(for instance his toy) back to the way it was before you came and aided him out of the situation which is absurd. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many are times that the crying continues until he solves the situation or gets himself out of it. I'm just wondering has anyone faced this and how did they go about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I pretend to be mad at him for crying and not allowing me to help but it's not working. The crying is what bothers me because unlike other times, you just can't sooth him out of it until he solves it by himself. Should I let him just cry?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Update&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After following some of the advice it really worked well during our play time. So this is what i did, when he starts crying due to frustrations, I clap my hands and say you're doing it. This actually worked well because he knows when I clap it means well done. So we've managed smooth playtime without crying. Babies  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastEditorDisplayName="user22314" LastEditDate="2016-07-01T02:45:10.760" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T02:45:10.760" Title="When do the sense of independence kick in, in toddler's?" Tags="|toddler|independence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26419" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24625" CreationDate="2016-06-28T05:54:41.490" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;The vertical dark line on pregnant women's belly, which is termed as pregnancy line is officially known as Linea Nigra. We can even see this line before pregnancy(then called 'Linea Alba', runs from your navel to pubic bone), is usually pale in color, and this line darkens during pregnancy. The pregnancy line actually starts showing up during 5th month of pregnancy, it can even show up early (anytime during second trimester).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As it is a natural part of pregnancy, there are no preventive measures for Linea Nigra. In order to accommodate the growing baby, women's abdominal muscles stretch and slightly separate, thus pregnancy line starts showing up then. This line generally fades away few days/months after delivery. The exact cause of Linea Nigra is still unknown, but it is believed that, hormonal imbalance, and the hormone called 'melanocyte-stimulating hormone'(which is also assumed to cause the darkening around the nipples) is making the line darker during pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to few studies, newborns when placed on mother's abdomen, has the ability to find mother's breast on her own. It is smell, vision and taste that help the newborn to find the breast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A study named &lt;em&gt;'Biological mechanisms for homing in on the nipple'&lt;/em&gt; states,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;When newborn infants are placed in the prone position between their mother's breasts immediately after delivery, they display a consistent sequence of activity, namely, crawling movement, which brings the infants into contact with one of the nipples, and then active sucking, which eventually occurs within about 1 hr after delivery.&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22197" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T05:54:41.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26396" CreationDate="2016-06-28T08:16:26.080" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a father of a 15 days old child. The below list helps &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sing to him - He knows he is around someone who keeps him comfortable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Hold him close to you.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Walk him around the house&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Talk to him while he stares at the lights. Talk to him and he does make eye contact.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Swaddle him - Some babies like to be swaddled.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Play white noises - Newborns like white noises&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Try different holds - see what makes him comfortable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Rocking motion on your arms. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While he certainly does not care for toys, but what matters to him is a feeling of being loved. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20108" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T08:16:26.080" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26421" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26416" CreationDate="2016-06-28T10:17:14.993" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say from your post that your toddler demonstrates a very strong sense of independence. This can actually kick in at various ages, but toddlers do typically want independence once they can move independently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This independence can be of varying levels, but your toddler obviously has an urge to solve problems himself, and if you solve them he is frustrated as he no longer gets to solve the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than be mad at him, or try to help, you could try helping him understand you are there and can help if he needs you to. At that age this may require you to solve similar issues where he can see, or provide tools for him to use (eg if he is stuck trying to get up on something, can you provide a box for him to stand on? Don't give it to him, just place it nearby.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T10:17:14.993" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26422" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-28T14:30:44.447" Score="1" ViewCount="268" Body="&lt;p&gt;We listen to audio books in the car when we are on a long (&gt;1 hour) road trip. My daughter, who is 2, watches children's TV on an iPad in the back seat during these trips and is perfectly happy to do so - it's a nice treat for her since she's not allowed TV at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, a lot of audio books that are top picks have sexual or violent scenes.  For example, on our last trip there were some particularly graphic parts in the literature we were listening to - Elena Ferrante's 'Story of a New Name' (not that it is thought of as a hard-core book, in fact, it's critically acclaimed and a very good novel).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For now, our daughter is clueless but I can see that with her vocabulary expanding at a very quick pace, she will understand the words in our story if she chooses to listen. I prefer not to have to switch over to young adult books until she can really enjoy the story too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I choose (still) good literature that avoids adult language and themes, without learning the entire plot ahead of time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: I know sites like &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.commonsensemedia.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.commonsensemedia.org/&lt;/a&gt; exist, but they only rate children's programming...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T18:08:09.073" Title="How can I find out if audio books contain sex or violence before I listen to them near my child?" Tags="|parents|entertainment|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26422" CreationDate="2016-06-28T18:08:09.073" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can try looking at amazon.com for the audiobooks you have and checking the categories they are under&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;adult&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;children&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;teens&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and then checking out any reviews, as coarse vocabulary is usually mentioned here if it was a surprise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T18:08:09.073" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26424" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26437" CreationDate="2016-06-28T19:16:55.740" Score="10" ViewCount="1136" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has always been easily frightened, but a few days ago she &quot;saw a face&quot; in a bundle of blankets (in the middle of the day in a well-lit room) and became so scared that she couldn't bring herself to enter the room again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We calmed her and told her that she was safe. My wife and I explained to her that her that our brains are very good at finding and processing patterns, especially faces. We told her how important it was for our minds (especially when we lived in the wild) to make us scared of things we can't explain so that we would flee from danger. She seemed consoled and appeared to understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last night she woke up screaming and crying around midnight after seeing a disembodied face in her dream. My wife and I calmed her down and reiterated what we told her before. She was consolable, but it took some time. Eventually she went back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today she was cleaning out under her bed and saw another face, this one she described to my wife as far more graphic and gory. Now she's scared to enter her own bedroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's always been the most emotional (extremely caring, very empathetic) of our children. She's the oldest of three. She shares a bedroom with her younger sister (5). She was really scared by a game she watched videos of online (Five Nights at Freddy's), but it hasn't been much of an issue for almost a year now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my wife and I were very easily scared as children (and still are sometimes), so we know how she feels and what she is going through. My parents told me to &quot;suck it up&quot; when I was scared. My wife's parents told her that &quot;the monsters are real&quot; (demons) and put a bible under her pillow (which helped at the time, though we are no longer religious).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit 1: Today she confided in us that the spark that ignited her recent fears was a YouTube video, though she's been unable to recollect which one specifically. She says it wasn't a scary video, just one that happened to feature a disembodied face which her imagination ran with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit 2: She let us know today that once her initial terror subsides she is able to investigate and confirm that there is nothing there. We're so very proud of her for this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice to get her through this? Does this kind of recurring issue seem likely to require professional attention / therapy?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17174" LastEditorUserId="17174" LastEditDate="2016-06-30T13:39:47.033" LastActivityDate="2016-06-30T13:39:47.033" Title="How to handle a 10 year-old's scary imaginings?" Tags="|development|fears|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26425" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26354" CreationDate="2016-06-28T20:54:55.377" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to not take care of the baby  24/7. That is NOT your job. If you spouse work, and you don't, it is your job to take care of the baby while he is not there (so maybe 10 hours a day?). &#xA;&lt;strong&gt;When you both are home the baby is taken care of by both of you!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It also sounds like you are unable to relax with your in-laws around. I sounds like the best way to relax is to get out of the house, or have 'your own space'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things I can think of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick a crafty hobby like cardmaking, painting, candle making, soap making, even adult coloring. Set up a space for you to do this in the house, and do it while the baby naps or sleeps. Let in-laws and other know you are not available to talk when you do this. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Think of something you can do while the baby plays by himself that is easy to stop. Like playing little games on your phone, or reading 'light' books such as romance or comedy or spy novels. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If the baby naps in a stroller, bring a book while taking the baby on napping walk. Go to park bench or cafe where you can bring a stroller, and sit down and read while he sleeps and while you are not around your in-laws. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find some activity like a sport or dance or evening class and sign up. Your husband should be able to take of the baby one evening a week so you can get out of the house without the baby. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You can also consider picking something with your husband like dancing or a co-ed sports team for one evening a week while your in-laws watches the baby. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see a lot of people saying to find a hobby to do WITH your child, but it honestly doesn't sound like that is what you are looking for. I think it is great to do stuff like that with your kid, but it is not getting a break. &#xA;I think the most telling stuff you said was that you feel it is your job to take care of the baby 24/7, and that is not healthy. You need to feel you can catch a breath. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this regard, in addition to finding a hobby, maybe an idea would be to find some other moms to hang out with. Have the your baby interact with other kids and let them play together at a park or in someones house. The kids will entertain each other, and having several parents around makes you feel like you don't have to be at 100% vigilance all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-06-28T20:54:55.377" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26426" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-29T00:07:27.690" Score="-1" ViewCount="7286" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 19 years old, he is a computer science student and has just finished college and is awaiting his grades. In September he will be going to University if he gets the needed grades which he is predicted to easily achieve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a part-time job where he works 30 hours a week but apart from that he spends most of his time at his PC or asleep, with the occasional night out maybe once a month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I enforce being awake between the normal hours, or is it OK that he plays video games at night and sleeps during the day (apart from when at work)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently I have been turning off the WiFi at night to try and force him to be awake at normal times which he really dislikes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23649" LastActivityDate="2016-06-29T07:29:35.133" Title="Should I allow my 19 year old son to sleep during the day?" Tags="|sleep|teen|video-games|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26429" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26426" CreationDate="2016-06-29T07:29:35.133" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is 19, and about to leave for University.  It's time to stop &quot;enforcing&quot; things for the most part, and start letting him figure out things for himself.  You're not going to have any meaningful control over him three months from now; when he's off at University you won't be able to make sure he sleeps on a certain schedule or, well, anything, in most cases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, use this summer to let him begin learning his balance and how to work out when he can sleep and when he should not. The optimal answer to this varies by the person - our circadian rhythms are unique to each person, and it's possible that his body is best suited to a 11am-4am schedule rather than a 7am-12am schedule. He'll figure it out; perhaps by messing things up a bit, but isn't it better to mess things up during the summer when it's not as important that he get a good sleep (since he's not in school currently)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-06-29T07:29:35.133" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26416" CreationDate="2016-06-29T07:58:42.997" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son developed a sense of independence at around the same age.  Our pediatrician told us it was normal.  He rarely cries when he's frustrated, but the frustration clearly shows on his face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My strategy is to praise him for his efforts.  When I help him, I try to guide him with broadly applicable advice.  For example, when he tries to force &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lego.com/en-us/duplo&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Duplo&lt;/a&gt; blocks together with all his might, I remind him that you don't have to push hard if you position them correctly.  He communicates when he wants help by saying &quot;dada&quot; or &quot;mama&quot; and pointing at or handing us the toy that's causing him frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to teach him that patience and effort pay off.  I'm deliberately trying to develop a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.education.com/reference/article/goal-orientation-theory/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;mastery orientation&lt;/a&gt;.  As a child, I was constantly praised for my intelligence, which led me to develop a strong performance orientation.  I think that set me back many years in my career.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14122" LastActivityDate="2016-06-29T07:58:42.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26431" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26434" CreationDate="2016-06-29T08:14:40.443" Score="6" ViewCount="1248" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 18 months old.  He finds it hilarious to make our cats howl by pulling their tails.  I try to discourage this by firmly saying &quot;no&quot; and &quot;do not pull tails&quot; until he stops (which he quickly does), then reminding him that it gives the kitties an &quot;owie&quot; (a word I think he understands) and that we love our kitties and do not want to hurt them.  But he doesn't seem to be affected by this.  I think the only reason he stops is because he wants to please me, not out of any concern for the cats.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At what age do children develop empathy?  Can it be taught?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14122" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-10T12:13:52.240" LastActivityDate="2019-04-11T16:04:01.883" Title="At what age do childen develop empathy?" Tags="|toddler|teaching|animal-interaction|empathy|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-06-29T09:48:09.723" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do you know if there was money involved and that the parents are soliciting money? Do not assume without the facts.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;I know a friend who, on April Fool's Day, faked that she lost her arm in an accident. Let's just say she ended up having to grovel to her friends who had cried their eyes out, but by doing so trust and friendship was restored.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IN your case, be a leader, a friend, ask the parents about this. Since the mother was mentioned, asking the father first &lt;em&gt;without mentioning his wife's comments&lt;/em&gt; would be advantageous. It is still possible [the parents] are unaware of this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The newspaper clippings and social media are already incriminating, give them an opportunity to verify truth from fiction.&#xA;You can judge from this encounter whether anything, let alone the police, should be involved.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you wish your daughter's well-being, show her how to handle such grave situations where she is unsure whether to pursue a friendship or not. Friends make mistakes. Seeking counsel and asking questions can help clarify what she should do. Sometimes troubles arise to show us who our true friends are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Right now your daughter needs your love and support, emotionally and intellectually, as to how to respond in love.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not asking questions, internalizing without seeking counsel...from my own sad experience, only leaves bridges burned and regrets that linger for a lifetime.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If there is ever a time for her to learn to forgive and be willing to let go of friendships, now is the time. Life is way worse than this tragedy, and as deep as the wounds might be, not being an independent woman will be disastrous for her life...both in her future friendships and with her body.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23654" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-06-29T09:55:07.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26431" CreationDate="2016-06-29T11:37:38.713" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, please don't worry! This is natural at this age and all children are like this in toddlerhood. My son, who is now 4, did the same thing with our cat at that age, and now he is very gentle and wonderful with cats. (My one year old has now entered that stage; our cat has passed, but she pulls on my 4 year old's hair and she finds it &lt;em&gt;hilarious&lt;/em&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children start to show signs of empathy at about 2, but it increases gradually with age. At 3-4 a child should begin to be able to articulate how they are feeling and identify feelings in other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So far you are doing great. Getting him to respond to &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; emotions is actually a sign that he is already developing empathy. What you have to remember is our empathy apparatus is designed to understand what other &lt;em&gt;people&lt;/em&gt; are feeling, not animals. Children will recognise when other people are upset or hurt more easily, by looking at their facial expressions. It's a lot harder for them to understand when an animal is in pain or doesn't like something, because that requires a lot more abstract thinking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing to do to help develop empathy in your child as he gets older is to help them identify their feelings, and the feelings of others. For instance, if they are crying, you can help them identify the emotion (&quot;sad&quot; or &quot;angry&quot;) and you see other children crying, identify that emotion, &quot;that little boy is sad&quot; and then make a sad face yourself. This helps show them that you are sad that the other boy is sad, so you are demonstrating empathy to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put my animal behaviour hat on, make sure that your cat always has a place to escape if your son is being rough for him. For our cat, we put in wall mounted shelves that she could climb onto and be well out of reach. This is good for the animal's mental health so they don't feel trapped. (It will also prevent incidents like scratching which can happen if a cat feels cornered). It'll also teach your son what kinds of behaviours the cat does and does not like as she'll make her feelings known by escaping!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23655" LastActivityDate="2016-06-29T11:37:38.713" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18175" CreationDate="2016-06-29T11:46:58.430" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's no evidence that waking at night is connected with eating during the day. Here's a popular science article about it:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/health/feeding-babies-more-during-day-9319230&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Feeding babies more during the day will not stop them waking at night, finds Welsh university research&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the advice from others to night wean may not be very helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23655" LastActivityDate="2016-06-29T11:46:58.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26424" CreationDate="2016-06-29T16:42:45.487" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This could be the early stages of schizophrenia.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have catatonic schizophrenia myself and I remember well what it felt like as a child before I came to understand the illness. You've pretty much described it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The disease varies greatly from person to person and a huge amount of what you see on TV or hear about in sensationalist stories/otherwise is completely false. Few people have much idea of what it really means beyond crazed maniacs in blood soaked lab coats wielding axes and intent on murder. Surprisingly enough this isn't the reality for most people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to impart a few pieces of knowledge from my own experience -&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Seeing faces for a fraction of a second is one of the most common schizophrenic visual hallucinations there is. Even I get them. They'll come when I'm tired and least expecting it - I'll look around, the duvet's creased into a slightly curious shape and they'll be this face staring back at me right there. Even as an adult it transfixes and terrifies me in equal measure. I'm genuinely &lt;em&gt;terrified&lt;/em&gt; by it. But I calm myself, control myself, and move on half a minute later. Usually the face is a mash up of two or more people I know or have seen in pictures/videos recently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Schizophrenic tendencies are extremely common across very large numbers of people in the population. Oftentimes symptoms are mild and only there when these people are at their most tired/stressed. Most of these people will live a completely normal life and oftentimes symptoms are so mild they'll never even get a diagnosis. Schizophrenia is not always life changing - in its most extreme form it is, but the majority of people who have it get it only mildly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Schizophrenia/schizophrenic tendencies are very hereditary. It's impossible to say for sure from your account whether you and your wife might have had a trace of a tendency without realising it, but it sounds like you might have. If you do have a slight trace of hyperactive imagination running away with scariness occasionally, that could easily be passed on to your daughter. But that doesn't mean she'll be any worse than you and you two - if you had it at all - had it in a mild enough way that it hasn't affected your life. There's no reason to think now that your daughter would necessarily be any worse than that even if she does have a slight tendency.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Full on schizophrenia is usually diagnosed in mid to late teen years/early twenties, but as it's a brain development disorder, usually looking back in hindsight you can see the start of it much earlier. I started to experience a few tiny effects age 12, proper hallucinations age 16, and only figured out what was going on age 20 (i.e. diagnosis then). For those diagnosed a few years younger than me it's not uncommon to see first effects age 9/10.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) If symptoms get worse it may be worth seeing your GP but there's probably very little they can say right now - they'll just say &quot;maybe/maybe not&quot;, keep an eye and come back if things get worse. There's probably nothing a doctor can do right now. Your daughter would need to be a lot worse before they'd put her on anti-psychotics, so don't expect anything from the doctors right now even if you do go. They won't be able to tell you yes/no to schizophrenia. It's a possibility, but very much unconfirmed and too young to know anything at all. There's no real prevention possible - it'll happen or it won't as it may. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;6) Tiredness plays a huge role in the blending of the dream world and waking life. I know it's difficult because nightmares are common, but make sure your daughter's well rested. Make sure she gets early nights for the next couple of days if you can. I know it's difficult (and I'm not yet a parent so no expert on bedtimes), but if I'm experiencing hallucinations or faces the very best thing for me is several early nights in a row. The more sleep I get, the less the dream world and waking world blend and the fewer frightening faces I see. If I'm well rested I don't experience hallucinations at all. Do not underestimate the power of sleep - my single biggest tip to you is that when the faces come, several early nights in a row is the very best prevention there is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;7) Don't be worried by this - my personal opinion is that your daughter does have a schizophrenic tendency. She'll likely always experience some level of minor hallucination when tired. If it progresses and gets too bad there are now very many really effective treatments your GP can prescribe if needs be with minimal side effects (weight gain is the big one - so very careful food control and dieting whilst on the drugs is usually vital to maintain a healthy body weight). But - schizophrenics are also often very bright people with high IQs, hyperactive imaginations and more likely to excel in subjects such as maths. Always be there to reassure your daughter if needs be, keep her bedtimes as routine as possible, make sure she gets an early night if the visions come, and contact your doctor if it starts to impact on her life in any major way. [In later years watch out also for depression which is very commonly associated and tied to schizophrenia for reasons not especially clear]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The very best of luck to you and your daughter though. I hope I can give you some encouragement that things will turn out alright either way - I have a respectable finance job within a large retail bank, plenty of friends (a small handful I've told, but most have never guessed I'm schizophrenic), one of the very top marks in the year group in a mathematics degree from a top institution, and a condition I simply refuse to allow to control me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feel free to let me know if you have any more questions you'd like me to answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(@moderators, please don't merge this account with my other one. I know I have a proper account with gold badges etc. on the network but I want to keep my medical conditions entirely separate from my professional online presence)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23662" LastActivityDate="2016-06-29T16:42:45.487" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26439" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-30T00:44:01.550" Score="3" ViewCount="318" Body="&lt;p&gt;When bathing a new born should you use soap? are there any benefits or harms to using soap vs just using water?  This is on top of the question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1812/how-often-should-i-bathe-my-newborn&quot;&gt;How often should I bathe my newborn?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some time frames to consider &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;0-1   Weeks - Month 0 &#xA;1-4   Weeks - Month 1 &#xA;4-12  Weeks - Month 2-3 &#xA;12-36 Weeks - Month 3-6&#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21407" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-09-10T11:26:40.467" Title="Should soap be used when bathing a new born" Tags="|newborn|bathing|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26440" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-06-30T02:17:20.400" Score="4" ViewCount="803" Body="&lt;p&gt;After much thought and investigations, I believe that I am the father of someone famous. I would like to get in touch with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want to have a conversation with him to tell him that I am sorry and to catch up with him regarding life.  I don't want his money.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?  How should I start?  Have any of you ever been in this situation before?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know I screwed up as a parent, but that's in the past now, and all I can do is move forward and be the best man that I can be from now on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23669" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-06-30T02:22:36.013" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T13:26:39.603" Title="I believe that I may be the father of someone famous. How should I proceed?" Tags="|family|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26441" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26440" CreationDate="2016-06-30T05:29:27.030" Score="-5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can contact him probably quickest via Twitter or his Facebook fan page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember to not ask him about his money and fame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, apologize and ease into the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23671" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-06-30T10:05:52.250" LastActivityDate="2016-06-30T10:05:52.250" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6789" CreationDate="2016-06-30T07:56:04.003" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If she is always hungry try giving her boiled eggs. These take four hours to digest. If you mix them up with butter or even a little olive oil, pinch of salt and some pepper they are delicious and she will like the taste in no time. So she isn't constipated use the oil or butter freely.  One of them should fill her and they are good for her health. I can't digest a hard boiled egg. But since I do like them I usually mash them with olive oil or softened salted butter. I can get them down easily that way.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23672" LastActivityDate="2016-06-30T07:56:04.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26444" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26440" CreationDate="2016-06-30T13:40:59.607" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your assumption that famous people might be flooded with wacko messages and hence careful and possibly shielded by employees is probably right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you should use public channels to contact him. Instead hire a lawyer to contact the child in question (or his manager), explaining why you think you might be his father, offering to be tested and declaring on your behalf that you have no financial interests whatsoever, just a personal desire to establish contact. The more &quot;proof&quot; you have, the better. Photos? Letters? Knowledge that isn't publicly known? You may include a personal letter to your possible son, explaining the same in your own words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you ensured the message was received, the ball is in the child's court - he will decide whether he wants to get to know you or not. But this is the same for every long-lost father / child scenario, regardles of the &quot;famousness&quot; of the involved parties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-06-30T13:40:59.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26446" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26461" CreationDate="2016-06-30T16:27:53.250" Score="5" ViewCount="1002" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other day I was in line with my twin 3/yo boys and another boy, who was probably 4 or 5, leaped forward and roared in one of their faces.  On the way out, they also said he touched their hair. (I had my back turned most of the time)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't catch the hair part, but I did see the roar out of the corner of my eye.  At the time all I managed to do was give the parents a brief &quot;WTF?&quot; look.  They didn't seem to care.  (Which is maybe why their child is a little monster.)  The boys and I talked about how that wasn't very nice on the walk back to the car.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Days later, I'm still a bit bothered.  Maybe not so much by the child, but by not knowing how to respond.  I'm sure some parents would get aggressive and confrontational, but that's not my temperament.  Plus the other party could just double-down, and it'd get ugly from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps a firm &quot;Excuse me, I know you're probably just having fun, but it's not very nice to be mean to little kids.&quot;?  Regardless of the result, I'm hoping it'd show my boys it's important to at least try to speak up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Open to wiser ways to handle a situation with &quot;bullies&quot; / inconsiderate people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23678" LastActivityDate="2016-07-02T06:16:01.597" Title="The right way to address someone else's child?" Tags="|conflict|bullying|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26448" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26446" CreationDate="2016-06-30T20:20:54.443" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only time you should address a stranger's child with complaints is if they are doing something that poses an immediate danger to themselves or others. If they are pestering your children, the best thing to do is remove your children and yourself from their vicinity. If that isn't reasonable, you should approach whoever is in charge of the child and only approach the child when you cannot determine who it is who is in charge of him/her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When approaching the child you should smile and be very polite and ask who/where the child's parents are. At this point any attentive parent will already be en route directly to you. Take any complaints to the parent (or whoever it is that's in charge of the child) and never directly to the child unless they are posing a danger or are physically harassing your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You letting the siruation get to you days later is your fault for not acting and at least voicing the complaint to the other childs parents. Based on what you've said, you can't possibly know that the kid's parents would take things badly and you're only reinforcing the idea by dwelling on it for days. Making it that much more likely to reoccur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20365" LastActivityDate="2016-06-30T20:20:54.443" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26449" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26446" CreationDate="2016-06-30T20:22:38.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your protective instincts and concerns about modeling for your boys are right on-the-money, I'd say. As are your concerns about over-reacting. But there is a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of middle ground here. All the wordiness starting with &quot;Excuse me, ... but...&quot; is not going to mean anything to this age group though (think adult-speak in Charlie Brown specials: wahhh wahh, wahhh wah). I think it has got to be a lot of body language and short sharp words: 1) crouch right down to his eye-level, 2) speak directly at him with eye contact, 3) &quot;No! Do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; try to scare my boys like that&quot;, 4) point or gesture for him to &quot;get back&quot; if you want, 5) don't seek other parents' permission first, but be ready to de-escalate if necessary (&quot;sorry about that, but I instinctively react to protect my kids&quot;). Modify as necessary to fit your personality and instincts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20043" LastActivityDate="2016-06-30T20:22:38.620" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26451" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26452" CreationDate="2016-07-01T00:44:35.597" Score="2" ViewCount="990" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I had our first 6 days ago and have been having a lot of trouble to get him to sleep at night.  We were exclusively breastfeeding until we found we needed to supplement a bit to get him the correct amount of food, at least until my wife's milk had come in.  Now her milk is in, but the bottle has seemingly already caused some damage, and seemingly led to some nipple confusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were told from lactation consultants and some literature that pacifiers can further lead to nipple confusion, but it seems that many claim &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B0045I6IAO&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Soothies&lt;/a&gt; do not, or at least minimize it.  Can anyone offer insight on this?  Ideally we'd be able to use the soothie at night to help with him falling asleep during his screaming stage.  I don't see how using a soothie over a pinkie finger would be any different, we're already using the pinkie finger to help calm him down, but the angle of your wrist can get quite painful while holding him for 20-30 minutes at a time trying to calm him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22175" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T02:09:57.660" Title="Do Soothies cause nipple confusion?" Tags="|sleep|newborn|breastfeeding|pacifier|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26451" CreationDate="2016-07-01T01:32:41.707" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Failure to sleep at night in newborns is usually caused by a lack of (or failure to establish) a circadian rhythm; in other words, it's as normal as can be, and a source of great consternation in new parents (I mean, who explains this to new parents? Hardly anyone.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have cared for hundreds of newborns, and I can honestly say I do not believe in nipple confusion. This may be controversial, but I believe it's a myth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies may prefer the bottle (supplemental feeding) because it's easier to get the formula. Formula comes instantly on sucking rather than waiting for letdown, etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would advise, though, that when feeding, offer the breast and breastfeed before &quot;topping off&quot; with the bottle. His 'screaming' should not be because of hunger. If you're sure that the baby is getting adequate feedings (weight gain appropriate to age, etc.) use the Soothie if it helps. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-07-01T13:49:56.930" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T13:49:56.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26455" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26446" CreationDate="2016-07-01T11:29:03.673" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I only complain to other parents if the kids are really small &amp;lt; 4 or the kids don't speak my language.&#xA;Kids aren't pet dogs, they are able to communicate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They usually like being respected as independent persons and  it is more unusual getting an advice from a foreigner than from their own parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to get into a friendly dialogue with the kid. &quot;Now he is afraid of you, if you would like to play with him, first ask him. &quot; or similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way I am also distracting the kid from what he was doing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T11:29:03.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26440" CreationDate="2016-07-01T13:26:39.603" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It somewhat depends on the type of &quot;famous&quot;. I'm good friends with a reasonably famous person but he is perfectly normal guy and easy to approach. Unless the &quot;fame&quot; comes with either a crazy fan base or the famous person is making intentionally a media circus out of his/her life, you can approach the person pretty much like you would anyone non-famous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's one of the latter, you will have to go through their &quot;agency&quot;, which can typically be found by a good google session. This will be difficult, since the agency will typically weed out a lot of communication that they don't think is genuine or relevant. You would have to make a really compelling case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T13:26:39.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26385" CreationDate="2016-07-01T13:47:15.150" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are 3 possibilities:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your daughter's friend is a scumbag.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A scumbag hijacked your daughter's friend's account.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The message was faked by your daughter, in a grab for attention. Going forward, I'll assume you already looked into this possibility and ruled it out.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Focusing only on the first 2 possibilities, there's a very important lesson: People lie. People lie for money, for fun, for power, or out of boredom. Information shouldn't be trusted without questioning. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She needs to learn that, and 15 is already a rather old age to learn that. Your job is to also teach her that this doesn't mean she can't trust people. We all get cheated and scammed in various forms all the time, but we find a circle of friends who we trust, and forgive when they lie to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="12079" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T13:47:15.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1006" CreationDate="2016-07-01T14:17:52.317" Score="3" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Don't be secretive about money&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many parents treat money as a secret, and attempt to shield their children, and even their partners from it as though it is something dirty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Money is an important part of our lives. Be open about it. Be open about what it costs you personally in terms of time away from the family, effort and sweat to get money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many young people assume that money just comes easily. She may have a subconscious belief that when other people recognise how wonderful she is, money will just fall from the sky and into her lap. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show her that choosing into something (e.g. more pocket money for her) also means choosing out of something (e.g. holidays, time spent with parents, happy times, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Have a transparent (non-secret) budget, and involve her&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can demonstrate this by setting clear, open and transparent budgets for things and sticking to them, and by involving her in the decision-making process. For example, a Saturday entertainment budget might be £60 for the family. This could be spent on a movie, a trip, a meal out, but not all three. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Involve your children in the process of deciding where money should be spent, and they will become more fiscally aware.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Consider commission and interest on savings rather than pocket money&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are 3 ways to get money:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Working (doing chores)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Investment (interest on savings)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Handouts (benefits / pocket money)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our house, we don't do pocket money. However, the kids do have the chance to earn fairly significant amounts by working hard and doing impressive things. They also earn 5% interest on savings each month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me that by giving a child pocket money, you are teaching them to live on magic money from the sky. This benefits no one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you allow them the ability to earn (by taking out the recycling, winning competitions, hoovering the house, etc) you are showing them how to succeed in life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you allow them to look for ways to earn (by coming to you and saying &quot;can I have a pound for doing this job&quot;, you are teaching them to be entrepreneurial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2126" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T14:17:52.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26459" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-01T15:41:39.440" Score="4" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've been sending our daughters to the same daycare for a couple of years now. Our oldest just turned 4, and is 13 months ahead of her sister. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago, our daycare moved kids &quot;up&quot; in a facility wide transition (Two A -&gt; Two B, Threes -&gt; Four A, etc.) -- my oldest daughter had a hard time getting used to her old class (Threes), but absolutely fell in love with one of the teachers in that class, which by and large served as a type of security blanket for her. If Miss Daisy was out for some reason, my daughter was extremely reluctant to let me leave. She and Miss Daisy developed a great bond, which helped my daughter feel more comfortable in her classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, she's been moved up to a pre-k style class, and her sister is in Miss Daisy's class. My oldest daughter is always &lt;em&gt;super&lt;/em&gt; excited to go to daycare to &quot;see Miss Daisy&quot;, even though it's only for a few minutes while we drop off her sister. The class that Miss Daisy helps in is very playful and creative -- when we walk in, kids are playing in dirt, doing crafts at the table, playing with instruments, playing with toys, just being kids for the most part. This is where the trouble starts though... because we leave Miss Daisy's class, and my older daughter is still &lt;em&gt;super&lt;/em&gt; happy, all the way up until we open the door to her new classroom (across the facility). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her new classroom is a stark contrast. This is Pre-K, not &quot;daycare&quot; I suppose. But, biasedly, I can see why she doesn't like it. It's incredibly quiet, no kids running around, no kids playing. Usually, it's a group of kids sitting at tables with a notebook, practicing writing with one teacher walking around helping; another group is siting in the floor in a quiet group, listening to the other teacher go through the days, months, etc. It's nothing like any class she's been in over the past two years. The class is legit &quot;school&quot;, not just &quot;daycare&quot; like she's been used to (pre-k doesn't officially start until August, but I presume they're getting a head start since the kids are already in the class for the summer).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I know I can't change the style of the class, and I know this transition is expected as she starts getting older. My question is, how can I &lt;em&gt;help&lt;/em&gt; her with this transition? How can I reassure her that this class could actually be pretty fun too? When we walk into the class, she will hold onto me, telling me she misses me and doesn't like daycare (she used to), and refuses to go participate in the class until I carry her, or a teach comes and gets her, either way with her full of tears begging me to not leave her there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What have been your strategies for consoling a tearful toddler in these sorts of scenarios? I &lt;em&gt;know&lt;/em&gt; this is for the best, but how do I convey that to a 4 year old girl who doesn't understand why daddy is leaving her in this new class for 10 hours (2-3 times a week)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17178" LastActivityDate="2016-07-02T06:10:26.080" Title="Tips for helping my 4-year old daughter transition classes at daycare?" Tags="|toddler|pre-schooler|crying|daycare|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26460" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26446" CreationDate="2016-07-01T15:54:24.980" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Little monster&quot; seems a bit harsh.  You don't yet know for sure that your children might not pass through an unfortunate or aggressive phase in a year or two.  (My son was very aggressive around that age, and it wasn't because we thought it was OK, or because we weren't taking steps to address the issue.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, I think it's entirely appropriate to model a gentle but firm refusal with a child who is actually touching your children in an unwanted way, and to direct it towards the parents if (and only if) the behavior does not then stop. I'm guessing they (the parents) weren't actually hostile, or that they were glad to see their son scare your kids, but just that they were hoping it would resolve itself before they had to intervene.  While there are some actually crazy parents out there, most of them are just trying the best they can with whatever their own particular challenges are (just like you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kids need to know they can stick up for themselves in a low-conflict manner if their private space is being invaded.  With that said, it sounds like it might actually have been more bothering to you than to them.  A certain level of conflict with other children is part of the growing up process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2016-07-01T16:07:48.803" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T16:07:48.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26461" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26446" CreationDate="2016-07-01T18:09:09.127" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our job as parents is to equip our children to succeed as an adult. By shielding your child from those situations and talking to the parents, you are doing your child a disservice. Instead, talk to your little ones and help them process the emotions of the moment when that happened. Ask them things like, &quot;was that surprising&quot;, &quot;what did you feel when he did that&quot;, &quot;was that OK for you?&quot;, &quot;If you did not like that, what can you say to him to let him know you did not like it?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping your child process their emotions is incredibly important. Doing the above will help them to process what just happened, as well as show them tools to communicate with other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-tips-for-raising-resilient-kids/&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is one little article that touches the subject nicely. Do a little more research on your own if you can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-07-01T18:17:37.550" LastActivityDate="2016-07-01T18:17:37.550" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26462" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-01T20:24:17.193" Score="-1" ViewCount="2110" Body="&lt;p&gt;I just got the 26 DVD Baby Einstein collection for my little one and I'm a little surprised that there is no recommended viewing order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't imagine that learning numbers, colors, sounds, etc. are all equally recommended to start with. There is no numbering on the disks, but there is something like a color code... at least my observation is such that the disks have labels printed monochromatically, some are blue, green, red, or brown.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one called &quot;Baby's First Sounds&quot; has no language selection feature, but appears to be teaching baby how to make sounds like &quot;aah&quot; or &quot;buh&quot; but is associating these sounds with English French and Spanish words equally. For example &quot;ba ba baaaby&quot;, &quot;ah ah los abeha&quot;, &quot;ah ah anyu&quot;. What am I missing here? Is it teaching multiple languages? That doesn't seem very primary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, the &quot;Baby Van Gogh&quot; teaches colors at a very primary level, as expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What order should these be viewed in?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT 1&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did some more research. The color coding is to denote volume.&#xA;Volume 1 has a recommended age range of 0 to 24 months.&#xA;Volume 2 has a recommended age range of 6 to 18 months.&#xA;I don't know about the others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby's First Sounds, the DVD I started with is the black sheep of the series. Widely recognized as a terrible product for teaching baby's first sounds with 5 different languages mixed in a random.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus far the viewing order appears to be: Volume 1, Volume 2, the other volumes at random minus &quot;Baby's First Sounds&quot;. Baby's First Sounds goes in the trash.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT 2&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assume my child is whatever age is appropriate for watching TV, that's the purpose of this question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Feel free to recommend an order that specifically omits disks of questionable quality, or even omitting the video/sound of other disks, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Much like most popular Star Wars viewing orders omit Episode 1, my incomplete &quot;so far&quot; viewing order would be:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;1. Anything with focus on music. Possibly only with sound.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;2. ?????&lt;br&gt;&#xA;...&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Specifically Omit: Baby's First Sounds, as it is garbage.&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am hoping for an answer from someone who knows the content of these DVDs and can &lt;em&gt;at least&lt;/em&gt; minimally comment on said content.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14007" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-11T13:58:18.277" LastActivityDate="2019-01-11T13:58:18.277" Title="What order should my child watch Baby Einstein?" Tags="|development|television|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26464" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26468" CreationDate="2016-07-02T04:09:18.670" Score="1" ViewCount="181" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's interesting how we learn new things from our kids everyday. I have noticed a certain trend with my boy when it comes to fruit time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what I do is I take different varieties, like say Pawpaw, Watermelon,  Orange, Grapes, Ovacado and bananas and cut them into small pieces and put them in a small bowl for him to eat during fruit time(just a balanced portion). So my biggest concern has now been he eats all the other fruits apart from bananas. He picks everything and on one side pushes all the bananas aside. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try to make him eat them but he doesn't want to eat them. So I end up eating the bananas. I thought this was a one time thing until now I realized he just doesn't love bananas. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When do babies begin being picky?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I over think the issue or just let him eat what he likes for now? Just want to hear what you parents would do and if you were ever faced with that situation. I was forcing him to eat them but it's not working. I know bananas to be good fruits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 17months now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastActivityDate="2016-07-02T13:17:12.967" Title="At what age do toddler's become picky?" Tags="|toddler|food|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26465" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26459" CreationDate="2016-07-02T06:10:26.080" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two kids... the older one is 3, the younger one is almost 2. They started attending the same day care a few months ago, and like your kids, they are in separate classes. So while I haven't been in your shoes &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt;, I can certainly empathize with your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's what I would recommend...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the mornings, &lt;strong&gt;drop your older daughter off first.&lt;/strong&gt; This should diminish the stark contrast between the two classes. Granted, she's already aware of the significant differences between the two classes, but at least she won't be getting a daily reminder of it &lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt; before she heads off to the older kids' classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she continues to get upset in the mornings, offer that you can go &quot;see Miss Daisy&quot; &lt;strong&gt;after&lt;/strong&gt; school... on the condition that she calm herself down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In return, you can pick up your older daughter first after school. She'll be very excited to see Miss Daisy when you then go to pick up the younger daughter. If Miss Daisy is willing to help, perhaps she can ask your older daughter &quot;how was school today?&quot;, and try to keep the new classroom portrayed in a positive light. With any luck, your older daughter will be delighted to recount her day to Miss Daisy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A much smaller benefit of this is that your younger daughter will get to see what &quot;big kids&quot; do, and get her acclimated to the older kids' classroom long before she needs to attend. It's possible that this could work in your favor when the younger daughter eventually switches classes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14240" LastActivityDate="2016-07-02T06:10:26.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26446" CreationDate="2016-07-02T06:16:01.597" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;After seeing a few of these answers, I'm developing &quot;steps&quot; that I would take in these situations. See what you think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Assess&lt;/strong&gt; the situation.&#xA;Try to figure out exactly what is prompting the actions of the child in question. Get the whole story. A lot of times, a child will just live in a family where rambunctious play is a part of everyday life and he wouldn't think twice about it, even though it's not OK with everyone. If the child isn't behaving aggressively or in a way that could cause physical harm to himself or other children, either leave it be or (if it really bothers your child) ask you child to steer clear of this boy. If the child is invading the personal space of your child and keeps following him, you may start a conversation with the child and, as has been said previously, ask him who his parents are, what his name is, etc. Ask him if he wants to play with your children, and tell him that the way he's interacting with them makes them uncomfortable. Don't be aggressive unless there is an actual dangerous problem.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Address&lt;/strong&gt; the situation. If you decide that what the child is doing is putting himself or others in immediate danger, don't waste any time. You can use a stern tone, and/or take dangerous items out of his hands, but be very careful to not do anything that could be possible construed as physically aggressive towards the child (i.e. touching him in any way while addressing him, getting too close to him or even using gestures in a way that might cause him to be concerned and step back). Remember, your job as a supervising adult is to prevent calamities, not discipline children who aren't yours. If the child does not comply or is rude, do everything you can to get the parent involved. If the parent simply nods her head and says, &quot;Oh, thank you for telling me...&quot; don't simply walk off; make it clear that she needs to address this &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt; in any fashion that suits her (her kids, her style of raising them, but she can't shrug something dangerous off like that.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Simply remember that you have no parental authority over this child, and any disciplinary actions need to be done by the actual parent in the way that she decides. If the situation is actively dangerous, make it stop. If it makes your child uncomfortable but doesn't seem to actually be an aggressive or dangerous behavior, just &quot;dance around it&quot; as described in point one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point one is important, because it is often easy to misjudge a situation (especially with kids who aren't yours) and react incorrectly. Point two is also important, because you may be the first line of defense in preventing a child from getting injured or emotionally scarred.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23578" LastActivityDate="2016-07-02T06:16:01.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26464" CreationDate="2016-07-02T13:17:12.967" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Warning: Do not force a child to eat something.&lt;/strong&gt; - It results in them learning to really hate that food. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2012/07/what-forcing-kids-to-eat-looks-like-20-years-later/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2012/07/what-forcing-kids-to-eat-looks-like-20-years-later/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your question about when:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been listening to this audio book, First Bite by Bee Wilson - &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0465064981&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.amazon.com/First-Bite-How-Learn-Eat/dp/0465064981&lt;/a&gt; and the author mentions that there is a flavor window from 4-7 months where babies tend to be more adventurous in eating. And then after that they narrow a bit for the next couple of years; I believe into 3 or 4 years old but I'm not 100% on that. So that may help make sense of the timing of his preference change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you just keep offering a little bite of banana over and over so he can try and re try it. Most literature states that it can take 10-15 tries of a new flavor for a child  to learn to like it.&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1072-how-to-handle-picky-eaters&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1072-how-to-handle-picky-eaters&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastActivityDate="2016-07-02T13:17:12.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="761" CreationDate="2016-07-03T13:55:04.120" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it happens a lot it is abusive. For now if it is going on a lot. Keep him away more often from his cousins and then we he is about four, get him into self defense and also look on the internet like youtube for some kid self defense but make sure he does not learn something that can seriously injure another child. For now you perhaps should keep him away from those cousins and then have him learn some defense moves in the mean time. Look at some moves on YouTube for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23712" LastActivityDate="2016-07-03T13:55:04.120" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26475" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26462" CreationDate="2016-07-03T16:57:00.237" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;They can be watched in any order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They would be numbered if there was a preferred order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age it really doesn't matter - your child will get numbers, shapes, sounds etc in a way that seems to work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-07-03T16:57:00.237" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26477" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-03T23:18:42.630" Score="1" ViewCount="278" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 2-year old boy likes to pipe up a stack of wooden toy pieces and ferry it from one place to another. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the balance is lost and the wooden pieces fall in the process he becomes very upset and throws himself to the carpet and rolls on and screams.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how other children behave in the face of this but it didn't look OK to me for my boy to act like that. The thing is, his grandma and grandpa babysit him a lot, I am afraid that he was spoiled as they accommodate to his needs too much w/o restraints nor punitive measures when he didn't behave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also he's been co-sleeping with his grandma even though I made an unsuccessful intervene a year ago. I don't like it either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23716" LastActivityDate="2017-08-02T16:39:44.170" Title="how to teach a child to keep calm when encountering a setback" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26478" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-04T03:31:27.147" Score="12" ViewCount="2118" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9-year-old daughter had a few friends sleep over. My husband and I got into an argument in our room after we sent everyone  to bed. He lost control and got really loud. He started slamming doors and yelling through the house. It got really scary in front of all of the children. I asked him to leave and he did, but the kids were scared. I stayed up with the chilren for quite a while until they had all calmed down. I am so embarrassed. How do I tell the parents what happened?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23720" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-23T17:33:02.857" LastActivityDate="2018-07-25T17:18:04.870" Title="How to tell parents of guests that we had a loud fight during a sleepover?" Tags="|parents|middle-childhood|arguments|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26479" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26478" CreationDate="2016-07-04T04:25:48.920" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is indeed tough. This is what I'd do if I was in that situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First I'm hoping you spoke to the kid's and somehow tried making it okay. Organize another sleepover where you'll be the one entertaining them just for them to gain your trust back. Buy some gifts and give them during the sleepover. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now for the parents, you just have to come clean. Explain to them there was a misunderstanding and you overreacted in front of the kids and promise not to go  through that path again. But don't be shocked if the reaction will be negative, including them asking their kids not to come to your house. So be prepared emotionally this can go either way, but don't forget we learn from our mistake and no one is perfect. So don't be hard on yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, you both need to have a talk about arguing in front of kids. I believe that arguments are not good during bedtime, we all have our disagreements, which can usually wait. So you both need to practice how to keep them in until it's you and your spouse alone in a room where kid's arent around . It's not good for kid's to see the parents arguing. I know it's tough but hey we all go through a learning process to be who we are. We're not perfect so practice makes better. Start practicing no matter how difficult it sounds, make that step so that next time you won't scare the kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise Goodluck and I hope all goes well. Not a professional in the sector but just what I'd Do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2018-07-25T17:18:04.870" LastActivityDate="2018-07-25T17:18:04.870" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26478" CreationDate="2016-07-04T10:22:05.173" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;People are human and every couple fights. While not every argument is a door slammer (ideally none of them are), it's very likely that most if not all of the girls there have heard their parents argue before. But what the girls may not have experienced before is being in a relatively strange man's house while he is out of control. It is a frightening situation. They probably felt fairly unsafe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell the parents the truth. As married folks themselves who likely argue themselves, they'll probably understand that other parents argue, and that sometimes it might get out of control. Explain that you did help the girls settle down afterwards, and apologize sincerely (and I would add profusely.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I would not expect these parents to trust the two of you with their girls for another overnighter just yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain that you would like to make it up to the girls by taking them all out for a daytime or early evening excursion (alone); pizza and a movie or something similar where your family dynamics won't come into play. I think most parents will appreciate the gesture. It's possible that not all of them will take you up on it, but that's their choice. Do daytime things intermittently for a while until the girls get to know you well (if they don't already) and have your husband present for some of these things so they can learn to trust him again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully your daughter didn't lose any friends because of the fight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-07-04T10:22:05.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26482" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26478" CreationDate="2016-07-04T14:11:46.227" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a little scary in my mind. What on earth could you have been arguing about that caused him to &quot;lose control&quot; in proximity to a bunch of 9 year old girls? This is inappropriate behavior on his part and I would strongly suggest some marital counseling or anger management.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I come from a background with abusive family members and I can tell you from first hand experience that hearing a grown man yell at someone and slam things around is terrifying. These girls were absolutely scared. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was really good of you to send your husband away (thank goodness he actually left...) and to spend time with the girls to help them calm down. I hope you also gave them the option of calling their parents to going home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is really nothing you can do to make this up to the girls as others have suggested. Who you should really try to make this up to is your own daughter. How embarrassing to have your father act out in front of friends (speaking from my own experiences). She could lose some friends over this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the parents, you need to tell them this happened. You should have told them first thing when they picked up their children. If you didn't, they've already heard about the fight through the filter of their 9 year old and its not going to help you save face at all. There's nothing you can really say besides it happened, you stopped it ASAP and your sorry really. If you could get your husband to be the one to apologize to each of the other parents that would be fitting; but if it's going to start another argument or be an issue I wouldn't make a stand on it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get this guy some counseling before it escalates. You owe it too your daughter, and you owe it to yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user7678" LastEditorDisplayName="user7678" LastEditDate="2016-07-05T17:54:18.003" LastActivityDate="2016-07-05T17:54:18.003" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26483" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-04T14:48:28.050" Score="1" ViewCount="798" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pre-schooler is out of control with demanding to have her way.we have tried time outs, talking it out and taking away of material things of hers. Nothing is working&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23725" LastActivityDate="2016-07-09T19:02:49.307" Title="What consequences should there be for a 5 year old, who throws tantrums when told &quot;no&quot; or constantly wants her way?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-07-14T19:40:43.950" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26477" CreationDate="2016-07-04T17:21:09.197" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children do learn to modify their behaviour with different people, so its possible you can teach him to behave around you even if he still acts up for his grandparents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try getting down to his level, insist that he makes eye contact, and say &quot;I know you are upset about this. Thats fine. But screaming about it is not acceptable. If you carry on screaming you will be in time out.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then put him in time out for two minutes (one minute per year). Eventually he will learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-07-04T17:21:09.197" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26486" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24187" CreationDate="2016-07-05T11:02:57.163" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is very selfish and will never think of anyone else but himself. You may put conditions prior his moving back to the two of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may try to scare him with calling the police on him, but it may end up badly. However, admitting to an institute for addiction of any narcotics and/or alcohol would help him tremendously.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His behaviour seems to be one that stems from his past experiences where he received very little to no attention. If not, it may as well be an issue that rose from peer-interaction. What ever it may be, his condition/behaviour needs professional attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23729" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:05:36.770" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:05:36.770" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26487" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-05T13:21:09.460" Score="11" ViewCount="3248" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son used to be around our dog until she died, almost a year ago, when he was 11 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since then, and up until last December, he'd gladly pet a dog whenever he had the occasion to, that is, whenever we'd met a calm dog with comprehensive owners.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But in the last six months or so, my son, now 22 months old, seems to have developed a fear of dogs, to the point that he won't get anywhere within ten meters from a dog, and will start screaming and asking to be picked up if a dog comes near us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The death of our dog left a painful wound, and his mother and I haven't felt ready to take another dog yet, and I'm afraid that our child's fear may make it even harder for us to decide to ever have another dog. Besides, I love dogs very much, and I think that my son's (like everyone's) life would be richer around dogs, whether they are ours or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been trying to let my son see dogs from safe distance, getting slowly closer, but he just freaks out as we get too close, and it simply isn't working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is the best way to help our son overcome his fear of dogs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4313" LastActivityDate="2016-07-11T09:17:35.090" Title="How to deal with toddler's fear of dogs?" Tags="|toddler|fears|dogs|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26487" CreationDate="2016-07-05T14:48:30.977" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't give up on having a dog; your son's fear is likely transitory, and there are ways you can help him overcome them. But it will take time and patience. I'm sure there are a number of ways to do this. Here is what I would recommend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is he able to express yet &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he's afraid of dogs? When he is, that will be a help, although he may not be able to recognize the reasons himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Movies about &quot;good&quot; dogs (&lt;em&gt;Bolt&lt;/em&gt; and others) aren't too complicated for him to get the message that dogs don't have to be scary. Plenty of age-appropriate books about dogs also exist. Some for older children are educational as well (did you know that a dog named Balto once saved Nome, Alaska from diphtheria in 1925?) Your son might not get all the fine details, but he'll understand dogs are helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Long distance viewing of dogs is a great idea, but don't let him get close enough to the dog to scare him, or it becomes a self-defeating exercise. Let him admire them from afar only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When this has been going well for a while, you might decide to approach a dog. Look for a calm, older dog (don't approach a puppy.) While your son is in your arms, ask the owner if you may approach their dog (this is only polite). If the answer is yes, ask if the dog is accustomed to children (&lt;em&gt;don't&lt;/em&gt; ask if the dog bites!) If the answer is an enthusiastic yes - and your son isn't crying - &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; pet the dog while holding your child. Repeat this with various dogs until your son asks to pet the dog himself. When he does, let him pet the ruff of the dog or some other body part, not the head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If all this sounds like a lot of work, it is. But, like you, I think a good dog enriches a family's life significantly, and the investment is worthwhile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;Picking a family dog is another matter. Remember puppies are rambunctious. If your son is still harboring some fear of dogs, this might be hard for him. There are plenty of great adult dogs that need a home for one reason or another. Please don't rule this out.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-07-05T16:03:00.343" LastActivityDate="2016-07-05T16:03:00.343" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24187" CreationDate="2016-07-05T16:35:42.753" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately all you can do now is demonstrate &quot;tough love&quot; and cut him out of your lives, until such time as he shows that he has made concrete changes to improve.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two things that make this true:  1) If you were able to help him, you would already have done it. 2) It won't help his life at all if he harms you, and when you are around him, that is his pattern of behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you are a religious person, I would suggest you pray and place him in God's hands, sometimes that is all you are able to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-07-05T16:35:42.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26490" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-05T17:17:54.377" Score="2" ViewCount="392" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter. She is constantly being pinched, pushed, shoved, kicked and her hair is pulled by him. This is amongst a consistent flow of put downs and always being called stupid and other demeaning comments. This is constant, particularly every waking hour and I am going out of my mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is quite hyperactive and we do try to give them equal attention but no matter what we have tried, he continues to make her life a living hell.&#xA;She regularly cries to me, begging us to take him to the police.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are at our wits' end!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing works, e.g. smacking, yelling, thinking spot etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has started seeing a child psychologist recently but if anything, he has become worse. I took him to see a pediatrician to evaluate him for ADHD but it's only in the infant stages of diagnosis but will see the pediatrician again next mnth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is totally out of control and listens to nothing. He has become rude and disrespectful. He really was a star baby and the sweetest little darling boy up until approximately the age of 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This year he is regularly getting into trouble at school for rudeness and bullying also. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There have been no major changes to instigate this behavior. I am at a total loss. I feel as though I have tried just about everything and to no avail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are desperate. Any ideas or advice is most welcome and appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23731" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-01T18:28:10.357" LastActivityDate="2018-11-01T18:28:10.357" Title="What to do about my son constantly hurting and using demeaning words to my daughter?" Tags="|primary-schooler|siblings|bullying|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26487" CreationDate="2016-07-06T01:35:11.223" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can buy him a toy puppy and let him get used to it. He probably saw the dead dog in front of him and his brain associated it's death with &quot;danger&quot;. Seeing a dead animal can be pretty scary experience especially as a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I myself have experienced this fear when I was a child. A dead tiger was found near the town and was brought to the wildlife conservation center. I got a chance to peek at the dead animal and that gave me an uncanny chill down my spines. I didn't sleep properly for weeks and slowly recovered.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not force the child to hold the toy, let him approach it itself. Let him watch funny dog cartoons and everything should slowly get together and his fear should go away. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23737" LastActivityDate="2016-07-06T01:35:11.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26487" CreationDate="2016-07-06T04:44:45.123" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is very young and has gone from very friendly to fearful in a short time. This more than likely has something to do with the family reaction to the devastating loss of your pet/ family member. Regardless of the cause of the behavior change the best plan to overcome his newfound fear/ irritation is the simplest: pick him up when he runs to you and continue to explain &quot;the rules&quot; when it comes to foreign dogs and other animals (e.g. ask permission before petting) and demonstrate to him how to be friendly with other animals. Be patient, consistent and methodical. There is a lot of information about the world you need to impart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This post reminded me of a little girl (probably around 3-4 years old) in my apartment building who used to be petrified of my dog. Her mother would always be happy and laughing saying &quot;doggie&quot; and pet my dog, despite her daughter screeching and hiding behind her legs. After many, many months of this one day she came over to my dog as he was sitting down (I think we were in the elevator, or waiting for it to arrive) and gave him a kiss on the head. After that she had no problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't let your son's fear of animals stop you from adopting another pet, either. Bringing home a new dog or even including him in the selection process will most likely be very beneficial to getting him to overcome his fear/ irritation as it is either caused by the families ongoing reaction/ discussion to the loss of your pet or some semi-understanding of loss/ finality on your son's part, again, most likely based  upon or amplified by the family reaction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not ready for a new pet either. But we can lead by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23738" LastActivityDate="2016-07-06T04:44:45.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26495" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26462" CreationDate="2016-07-06T09:07:25.213" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like any of these sorts of products there is no evidence that they are effective - and like many 'educational' toys they exist to make parents feel good rather than for the benefit of children.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend any TV screen time for young children under the age of two.  The evidence suggests that watching TV is bad for development of children under 24 months and the baby Einstein series is mentioned specifically in a number of studies leading to an &lt;a href=&quot;http://study.com/articles/Baby_Einstein_Recall_Refunds_Offered_on_Educational_DVDs.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;offer of a refund in 2009&lt;/a&gt; because the products were &lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2009/03/05/new-study-finds-that-tv-isnt-so-bad-or-good-for-kids/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;found to be ineffective&lt;/a&gt;.  Other reports suggest that it may even be worse than that as infants learned six to eight fewer new vocabulary words for every hour of baby DVDs that were watched than babies who had not watched videos (Zimmerman and Christakis, 2007.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The preference from an evidence basis standpoint is that the best order is not to play them at all, and in the case that you can't return the set to give your child the box that they came in as it will be more educational than the contents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not all bad news for TV and there are some better outcomes at 2-3 years of age, where there is some evidence that good quality educational programming like &lt;em&gt;Sesame Street&lt;/em&gt; does have some positive outcomes in terms of helping children 'fast map' vocabulary, when backed up by a live interaction and engagement.  As to if the series mentioned here is 'good quality' or not I'm not in a position to comment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3777" LastActivityDate="2016-07-06T09:07:25.213" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26496" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26487" CreationDate="2016-07-06T09:19:21.763" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suspect it is just another phase of growing up for your son. I say this because our son did exactly the same thing - started out happy and curious about dogs and (suddenly without any cause - we have never had a dog) got scared of them - to the point of screaming and wanting to be picked up when there were any around. At one point he shouted and screamed so loudly at a small dog it ran away!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We didn't force the issue but tried to demonstrate that dogs are not scary by stroking them and saying things like &quot;what a lovely dog&quot; when we saw one out walking in the park. As he is getting older (he is 4 1/2 now) he is much happier around dogs, doesn't run away and will even stroke them. Nothing changed other than time. He is now asking if he can get a dog when he is older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not a child psychologist, but I suspect as children grow they start to notice more about the world and what might once have been fine becomes a terrifying thing (I know I feel that way as I get older! :-)) and children, like us, will eventually grow out of these fears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in answer to your question - it is probably the same for all things involving children - patience, love and time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23740" LastActivityDate="2016-07-06T09:19:21.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26497" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-06T16:59:08.823" Score="5" ViewCount="4504" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd like to take my 2yo son on a 5h road trip - but the mother is against this idea. I have to admit - it does seem daunting - but would like to try. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23741" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T01:42:38.153" Title="Is 5 hours too long of a drive for single parent with 2 year-old?" Tags="|single-parent|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26499" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26497" CreationDate="2016-07-06T19:50:38.920" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;5 hours doesn't seem that long - double that is definitely doable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is how you plan it-&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;regular stops, whether for fuel, feed, snacks for you, nappy change, or just a walk around in fresh air&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have everything you may need close to hand: wipes, cloths, maybe a bottle&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a car seat that is safe and legal, and that allows your baby to see you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;make sure you aren't tired, and be focused on the road. Don't panic if your baby decides to suddenly be loudly upset with something - just plan to pull over at the next safe spot and then deal with it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-07-06T19:50:38.920" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26500" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-07T01:37:19.033" Score="1" ViewCount="173" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 4.5mo old and have taken her on her first &quot;family vacation.&quot;  We're on day six of a 14 day trip involving about 5hrs of airplane travel (which she handled very well) but she has has awful gas pains since arriving.  Every night involves at least one shrieking session lasting 30-60mins with smaller bouts throughout the day spaced by about 1.5-2.0hrs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has no problems at home. Food sources have not changed (including mother's diet).  The only real difference between our vacation destination and home is the humidity and heat.  It's very humid and cool (~80°F) at the destination and very dry and very hot (~110°-115°F) at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use gripe water as needed and probiotics daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's the deal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23744" LastEditorUserId="20781" LastEditDate="2016-07-20T08:27:22.853" LastActivityDate="2016-08-07T12:06:13.370" Title="Colic has worsened while traveling" Tags="|infant|crying|travel|colic|gas|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26501" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26497" CreationDate="2016-07-07T03:24:23.133" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would not recommend doing that much driving in a single day with a 2 year old. Even if the child was able to tolerate it. It's really not fair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son will most likely not enjoy it. He'll get frustrated and stressed and uncomfortable being in his seat for that length of time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With breaks, that could easily end up being 7 or 8 hours total traveling time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We recently did a road trip with a 4 year old and a 6 year old. The longest stretch we did in a single day was about 5 hours driving time, 7 hours door-to-door. It was about the limit of what they could reasonably cope with, without becoming very stressed and upset, and that was with regular stops.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With a 2 year old I would not advise doing any more than 3 hours driving in a single day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem with the idea of giving it a try. What happens if it doesn't work out so well? Will you have a backup plan? What happens if you're 2 hours into your drive, with 3 hours still to go and your little boy gets very upset and doesn't want to get back into his seat after a break? Sure you could simply force him, but would you really want to do that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Road trips are supposed to be fun for everyone. I just can't imagine a child that young having fun being in a car for that long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you could split it over 2 days instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14484" LastEditorUserId="14484" LastEditDate="2016-07-07T03:32:07.963" LastActivityDate="2016-07-07T03:32:07.963" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26503" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26504" CreationDate="2016-07-07T16:27:15.543" Score="13" ViewCount="1293" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two-year-old has discovered a new trick. A few days ago he realized that if he sticks his finger down his throat, he can make himself vomit. For some reason this is fascinating to him and now he wants to do it all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For one thing, it can't be healthy to vomit so often, for his throat lining or nutritionally. Also I'm spending a lot of time cleaning up vomit, which is obviously unpleasant but has also been interfering with other things, for example making me late for work. How can I get him to stop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23749" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2016-07-07T18:06:32.913" LastActivityDate="2016-07-07T18:30:57.583" Title="Getting a 2-year-old to stop deliberately vomiting" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26504" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26503" CreationDate="2016-07-07T18:30:57.583" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're right that inducing vomiting often is not healthy; I wouldn't worry much about nutrition, but the lining of the esophagus and throat weren't meant to be often subjected to the acidic contents of the stomach; also, there are occasionally consequences elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, some things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will pass; it's a new superpower he's discovered and he's exercising it with glee. It makes him feel a sense of control over his body, and for this reason I would encourage you to try not to make a big deal out of stopping him; doing so may make him want to do it even more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids usually don't make themselves vomit forcefully (think bulemics); a mouthful of vomit is usually entertaining enough. More than that and it becomes unpleasant. If your son trucks through a forceful vomiting experience happily, I'd be very impressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is just doing this at mealtimes, the vomit he passes while eating will not be very acidic (not enough time for a real pH change) so I wouldn't worry too much about significant damage from that. Try a variety of distractions (toys, games, other) to see if you can get him interested in something better for him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he is doing this between meals, that's more worrisome. It's impossible to keep a toddler distracted all day, and if he's amusing himself this way - or worse yet, doing this for attention - it will be hard for you to get him to stop. Focusing on making him clean it up &lt;em&gt;thoroughly every time&lt;/em&gt; (even though that means a lot more work for you) might be enough to detract from it's entertainment value. If you think this might be done to attract attention, focus only on the clean-up. If he's bored, try to make his environment more engaging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try applying something bitter on his fingers so the taste repels him. This might help him to appreciate washing his hands before eating as well. (Make sure the substance you use won't affect the eyes or nose.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this behavior continues for more than a few weeks, I would consult his pediatrician. At this point it might be better to switch to a consequence/reward system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't envy you, but this behavior is not uncommon and is usually short lived.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;I wish I could thing of something to feed him that is positively vile coming back up, but it would probably be vile going down as well. Sorry.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-07-07T18:30:57.583" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26497" CreationDate="2016-07-07T19:20:30.803" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depends what you mean by a &quot;five hour road trip&quot;. Do you mean five hours one way to a destination? Or a five hour trip, both directions, with stops etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Expecting a 2-year-old not to be bored (and act it!) having to amuse themselves for five hours while strapped into a car seat may be a bit much to ask.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, we used to rent a cottage that was about a four hour drive from home, and our solution was to start the trip about an hour before the kids bedtimes. The kids would get bored and drop off to sleep and the road trip was then easy to manage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But if you have to stay engaged with the munchkin to keep them amused, then I'd argue that maybe you might consider how that could have the potential to distract you from your main task - driving safely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You know your kid best. If they are able to amuse themselves for long periods, then a five hour drive with a couple of &quot;get out, run around, snack, bathroom&quot; breaks might make it work. If they are needier, then it might be a disaster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-07-07T19:20:30.803" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26508" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26497" CreationDate="2016-07-07T21:27:21.080" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does your 2-year old nap in the car? In that case, I think 5 hours is not too bad. &#xA;Even if not, just including rest stops it should be fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Think of something like (if he naps after lunch): &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;leave in the AM, an hour or 2 before lunch. Have some entertainment your son can play with, such as matchbox cars or a book. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;have a nice lunch and a break, run around a little. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;After driving a little he should nap again, about 1.5 hours maybe?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take a break about 15-30 min after he wakes. Maybe you can find a park or playground. get some snacks, maybe even something special like ice cream. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Now you have 1.5 hours left to drive. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Add more stops if necessary!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have done road trips with our kids at various ages, and some of them were long. Not really a big deal, but you do need to be flexible with breaks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-07-07T21:27:21.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26509" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26477" CreationDate="2016-07-08T01:23:11.553" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Frustration in a 2 year old is common. As your child improves its ability to express itself, the outbursts should end. Emotions are difficult for a 2 year old to handle. Focus on modeling patient behavior. When your child starts to overreact, calm your self, by taking a few deep breaths, before you engage with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be assertive and direct with you parents about your wishes. Say something like &quot;I set my child's rules, and so long as they are reasonable I expect you to follow them. I can't be successful at raising my child without your support.&quot; I assume your parents love you and your child, and will respect your wishes if you make it clear it is important to raising your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T01:23:11.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26483" CreationDate="2016-07-08T01:33:42.570" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off make sure her tactics are never successful at getting what she wants. Kids tend to do what works. If she never gets her way after acting inappropriately you have removed the incentive to misbehave. At 5 you should be able to clearly communicate with her what behavior is unacceptable. After you have made it clear what type of behavior is not allowed, be consistent with your punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This type of parenting is a lot of work, because you can't take short cuts, but in the long run it should make your family more harmonious.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: in response to another answer about blanket &quot;never give in&quot; strategy. Let me clarify My suggestion is to be extremely consistent for a period of time until the child understand what behavior is constructive. A less rigid approach is more useful after the norms have been re-established. This behavior is a habit and needs to be broken like any other bad habit. As a parent you should be patient and supportive of your child's efforts to break the tantrum/complaining habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastEditorUserId="19339" LastEditDate="2016-07-09T19:02:49.307" LastActivityDate="2016-07-09T19:02:49.307" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26497" CreationDate="2016-07-08T01:42:38.153" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;No 5 hours isn't too long. But you should do a lot of planning ahead of time. Make it an enjoyable experience, plan on stoping at a playground, a store, a quick service restaurant, and a library. Have activities and snacks. Hopefully your child naps, but if not you can talk to them about your next stop and how much fun it will be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T01:42:38.153" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26513" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-08T03:27:43.060" Score="3" ViewCount="1575" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 year old son recently made a new friend who lives in our neighborhood. My wife and I like the friend and are happy that our son is being more social.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Apparently, there are very few rules at the friend's house. For example, he's allowed to ride his bike in the street without a helmet, roam the neighborhood freely and watch R rated horror movies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son spent the night at the friend's house last night, and we learned from him today that they watched &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/slither&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Slither&lt;/a&gt;. My wife and I are very upset that our son saw this movie. We feel that it's totally inappropriate for kids his age. This is the first time he's seen an R rated movie, let alone a horror movie.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't talked much with him about it. I asked him if it scared him and he answered &quot;Not really,&quot; but I have a hard time believing this. (This is coming from a kid who's still scared of Harry Potter.) How do I talk to him about it? Should I continue to let my kid play at his friend's house, and if so how do I approach the subject with the parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11583" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T16:54:12.120" Title="My 9 year old saw an R rated movie" Tags="|age-appropriate|friends|movies|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26514" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-08T04:29:45.250" Score="4" ViewCount="1000" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old will not go into a room alone by herself... She won't go to the bathroom alone or even play in the next room alone... She freaks out if you leave the room.... It's so bad she will follow me in the bathroom... Has to sleep in my room... Will scream n cry she is scared if I ask her to go do something in the other room... She will make her younger sister go with her.. Recently she has taken up bed wetting because she is so scared to leave the room and go alone to the bathroom... Even if I leave lights on... Whats going on? What could be the problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23758" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T15:24:09.500" Title="Why is my child so scared?" Tags="|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26513" CreationDate="2016-07-08T11:07:18.777" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like you need to take this up with the friend's family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your son isn't showing any adverse effects from the movie (like talking about monsters or people dying), I'd be glad that he wasn't adversely affected, but angry at the parents nonetheless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the things you mentioned it sounds like they don't have the same standards of parenting as you do. Some families are too busy, others just have different standards. Still others let their kids run completely riot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is going to be there, you need to talk to the parents and get them to agree to rules that you have at home and you expect to be followed at their place too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See if they can agree to reasonable rules, for example that he won't see any R rated movies or walk alone in the neighbourhood without an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Follow up, and if for a moment you sense your son isn't in a safe parenting environment then you should definitely consider not letting him be there alone - only allow the friend to stay over at your house, or have a parent go with him when he visits his friend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T11:07:18.777" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26516" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26513" CreationDate="2016-07-08T12:42:11.843" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I asked him if it scared him and he answered &quot;Not really,&quot; but I have a hard time believing this. (This is coming from a kid who's still scared of Harry Potter.) How do I talk to him about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Looking at the preview, I'd have a hard time believing he wasn't scared by the film, either. It might be that his friend was unafraid, even laughing, which made it less frightening. Or it may be that he will show fear in situations where there was none before. Just keep the lines of communication open about this with him. Be sensitive to changes. Remain neutral or he might think there is something to fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Should I continue to let my kid play at his friend's house, and if so how do I approach the subject with the parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son wants to continue the friendship, then yes, absolutely. I think you should discuss your R-rated movie policy with them, and video games if you have one. What their son does is out of your control, but let your son know that he's to follow the same rules there as he follows at home: he wears a helmet when biking, he lets someone know where he is at all times, and teach him to be aware of &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/24400/9327&quot;&gt;potentially dangerous situations with strangers&lt;/a&gt; if you have not already done so. Roaming the neighborhood on a bike for a 9 year old may be perfectly safe depending on the neighborhood and the quality of his judgement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T12:42:11.843" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26517" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26477" CreationDate="2016-07-08T14:25:56.377" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &quot;terrible 2's&quot; is when children discover their emotions, and this sort of behaviour is very typical.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Helping the child to recognize and identify their own emotions is key in this stage. If you can sit them down, talk to them, ask them how they feel and why they feel that way, it can help a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example: &quot;How do you feel right now - do you feel angry? Are you angry because the wooden pieces fell down?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From there you can encourage the child, perhaps assist them with the game, or try a different game, or distract them with a completely different task (like helping mommy or daddy set the dinner table).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they can identify and understand their own emotions it will help you with teaching proper behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you need to set limits, so you can take an approach like &quot;You can be angry, that's ok, but you're not allowed to throw things / hit your sister / swear like that&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastEditorUserId="23759" LastEditDate="2016-07-08T14:48:05.323" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T14:48:05.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26518" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26483" CreationDate="2016-07-08T15:41:14.423" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is one of those things where discipline (punishment) isn't necessarily the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child constantly wants to get her way.  I'd suggest there's nothing at all wrong with that.  I want to get my way, too.  Likely, so do you, right?  The difference is that we've learned a few things over the years (some more than others):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Everyone wants to get 'their way'&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Those 'ways' often conflict&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Thus, it's not possible for everyone to get their way all of the time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It is important to differentiate &quot;important&quot; from &quot;unimportant&quot; times to get your way&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The more frequently you let others get &quot;their way&quot; when it is unimportant to you, the more frequently you will get &quot;your way&quot; when it is important to you&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Getting &quot;your way&quot; is often a combination of communicating the importance of this particular issue, and convincing others that your way is a good choice&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you need to do is work with her to get to those final two points.  They're both very hard to learn at five years old, but they &lt;em&gt;are&lt;/em&gt; possible to learn.  We work with our almost-five year old on these issues on a regular basis; and he certainly has his moments where he throws a fit.  But, on balance those fits are usually limited, because after he gets past that initial moment of frustration, he processes everything and moves to rationally thinking about it, because we've worked with him over and over.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;most&lt;/em&gt; important part of this, though, is &lt;em&gt;accepting your child's feelings&lt;/em&gt;.  The issue is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; their feelings, it is how they react &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; those feelings.  It is very frustrating, legitimately, to a five year old if she's unable to have ice cream, or if he's unable to ride that train one more time before we leave.  It's not just a matter of throwing a fit to get what they want: it's actually upsetting.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your job as parent is to help them process that emotion so that it doesn't become disabling, and so they can learn to accept those times when it's not possible to get what they want. Calming them down and getting them to think should be the first goal, rather than creating an adversarial relationship via punishment, which just adds stress to the equation and makes it harder for them to process their emotions. Talk calmly but firmly to the child; tell them that it's okay to be frustrated/upset, and encourage them to talk about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also say that I don't think a blanket &quot;never give in&quot; is the right approach.  I'm not suggesting giving in automatically, or frequently, or because it's easier.  However, locking yourself into only having one option is not a good idea in anything (life, parenting, etc.).  Part of the skill in dealing with frustration in not getting your way is communicating the importance of the issue and convincing others that your way is the right way, after all; as such you need to leave the door open to your child to do so, &lt;em&gt;the right way&lt;/em&gt;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With us, what we do is once we get our child calmed down from the fit, assuming that hasn't prevented the issue (such as require being removed from the location), we talk to them about why it's important to them.  We also talk to them about why it's important to us.  Sometimes we learn something new in that discussion - maybe it was promised by another adult earlier, for example. Or maybe it was something he expected because we've always done it before.  Or maybe he's hungrier than we realized.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the time we probably won't change our decision, because something else is restricting our choice - cost, time, etc.  But if it's possible to adjust, and he's able to calm down sufficiently to discuss coherently what his point of view is, then I've found that it's better to go ahead and allow him what he wants in those cases: because the lesson then is not &quot;tantrum gets you things&quot;, but it is &quot;discuss with Mommy and Daddy what and why you want in a coherent and respectful manner, and you get things&quot;. By then the tantrum is long forgotten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T15:41:14.423" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26521" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-08T16:51:47.563" Score="4" ViewCount="389" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 3 children. The oldest one, a girl, is turning 5 in 2 months, her brother just turned 4, and the little one just turned 1. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The oldest one will literally push her brother out the way to get in the bath first or in the car first or to go say hallo to grandma first, and if she did not succeed or if she does not get acknowledgement right away she will cry or fight with and hurt her brother (he is a special boy and prone to let people hurt him and say nothing). When they play outside and do something special and I am called to come and look, if I look at his achievement first she will be very upset, cry, scream, runaway, or be a miserable sister to her brother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried yelling, bribing, over cuddeling, very affectionate, reading stories, paiting, ignoring, but nothing is working, she still wants to be first and still bullies her little brother but loves the baby. She can be really spiteful and mean to her little brother if she does not get first acknowledgement in everything, even as much as a morning kiss, she must be first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am starting to get worried that I will never manage to get her over this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23761" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-20T14:33:03.807" LastActivityDate="2019-02-20T14:33:03.807" Title="What to do about my almost 5-year-old always having to be first in everything or else crying and fighting?" Tags="|pre-schooler|siblings|tantrums|attention|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26513" CreationDate="2016-07-08T16:54:12.120" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Hopefully you have some kind of relationship, or at least an open line of communication with the friend's parents, since you let your son spend the night there.  I would have a brief conversation with them about this, along the lines of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Zach had a great time at your house, thanks for letting him stay over!  We did have one concern, we know he watched an R-rated movie there.  We've made a personal decision to not let him watch &quot;R&quot; movies until he gets a little older, so if he stays over again, please keep that in mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't have to be a big deal.  Different families make different decisions, and while you don't want to micromanage his time away from home, this doesn't seem like such a big request, especially if you frame it as your issue not theirs.  At most, they might think of you as being a bit uptight or overprotective, and if so, so what? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your request does meet with hostility, or if it's outright ignored then &lt;em&gt;that&lt;/em&gt; would be a red flag about whether you want your child to spend more time there or not, but I don't think you want to assume that will be the outcome without trying first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T16:54:12.120" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26523" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26521" CreationDate="2016-07-08T17:15:26.970" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In such situations you can try to duplicate the &quot;getting first&quot; into two similar things, one for her and one for her brother, and then ask her which one she prefers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, does she prefer to get in the bath first, or does she prefer to get her hair dried first. Does she prefer to get the breakfast cereal first or get the milk on the cereal first. If you put it in &lt;code&gt;A or B&lt;/code&gt; terms and let her choose &lt;code&gt;A&lt;/code&gt; or &lt;code&gt;B&lt;/code&gt; you can get through this easily :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might also be worth giving her an activity &quot;of her own&quot;, like ballet lessons, art classes, an educational app on the iPad or a maths activity book, to allow her to turn her wanting to be first into some sort of positive achievement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T17:15:26.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26525" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26521" CreationDate="2016-07-08T23:17:18.570" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the exact same situation except that the age gap was wider between the first two - 20 months instead of 10.  We just let her be first most of the time and she soon came to see her slightly younger brother as a good play companion.  As she got older, she got better about being less insistent on being first all the time, as long as her overall social position is not threatened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the two older ones, now 8 and 6, just gang up on the youngest, not quite 4.  The youngest knows how to fight back, though, and in fact is usually the aggressor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure that's the answer you were looking for, but it didn't seem disastrous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T23:17:18.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2016-07-08T23:31:07.080" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You want something that implies family, but not a usurpation of the grandfather role.  I would suggest &quot;uncle&quot;, &quot;greatuncle&quot;, or granduncle&quot;, unless you think those would also be usurpations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-07-08T23:31:07.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24679" CreationDate="2016-07-09T04:18:38.267" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;pomodoro technique&lt;/a&gt; is effective at helping anyone learn to focus. It is essentially a timer based approach with predefined breaks and tasks for each focus session.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T22:40:09.310" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T22:40:09.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26529" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26483" CreationDate="2016-07-09T12:51:04.603" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children will eventually try to push the limits with their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to find a balance between not letting them control you and not fighting with them all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some tips:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick your battles. Defuse some situations into a compromise.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Use rewards. For example good behaviour earns tv time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Positive reinforcement. Identify and praise good behaviour.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you take away a material thing, give a way to earn it back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be consistent and don't give up. Good parenting takes time and commitment.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may feel that you're not getting through with talking, but keep trying. Help the child to identify their own feelings and be ablt to tell you why they are angry or upset in their own words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age we found it helpful to talk about the misbehaviour after the timeout, once they've cooled down from the tantrum - be sure the child knows exactly why they ended up in timeout (sometimes they misunderstand, or don't know) and encourage them to behave better next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I always end timeout with hugs, a commitment from the child to do better next time, and some sort of positive encouragement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-07-09T12:51:04.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26534" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-10T23:13:58.857" Score="3" ViewCount="328" Body="&lt;p&gt;I speak to my kid in 2 different languages at one time now . I used to speak to him only English and his mom our native language for 2years now but seems it didn't work so I decided to communicate the 2 languages to him myself to be sure things go right because I am the only one who speak English but the boy started to get English from me and refuses to communicate to others . Is that true ? Please advise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23771" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-07-11T05:52:52.603" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T14:36:23.283" Title="Raising a bilingual kid in monolingual community" Tags="|toddler|language-development|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26536" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26540" CreationDate="2016-07-11T04:23:13.313" Score="4" ViewCount="2757" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a 4 year old child often does not respond to questions without extra prompting. e.g. please respond the question. Is it a sign of a problem or just a developmental thing that goes on to be guided through&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21407" LastActivityDate="2021-12-17T17:50:41.407" Title="4 year old child not responding without prompting" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26537" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26487" CreationDate="2016-07-11T09:17:35.090" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First thing to do that the dog must to be on a lead so under complete control, parents should stroke and interact with the dog by taking with the child at a save distance with the other parent. The dog owner can start to demonstrate regarding how obedient the dog is by getting it to sit or down or fetch. Using toys and food with the dog will help to get the child's interest, maybe a game of throwing the titbit to the dog, which the child may want to join in with mom or dad, but you should not push or force the child to join in, you need to allow this to happen naturally, it may take a few sessions for the child to relax but if allowed to go slowly at their own pace I promise they will be out of fear. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastActivityDate="2016-07-11T09:17:35.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25040" CreationDate="2016-07-11T09:33:44.767" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The maximum daily recommended amount of salt for babies under one is 1g (0.4g sodium). From one to three years old the limit is 2g (0.8g sodium). Bearing in mind that most of the salt we eat is already in the food we buy (bread, cereal, etc.) it makes sense to keep any added salt as limited as possible. So any extra salt will be a burden on the tiny kidneys and the kidney’s will not be able to function properly due to the excessive load. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the mothers think that no sugar for babies also means no sweet foods for babies and refrain from giving nutritious fruits for their little ones. As Sugar is refined by lot of chemical processes which may be harmful to children or babies and excess of sugar may depress immunity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is the resource page which I had come across &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mylittlemoppet.com/why-no-salt-and-sugar-for-babies-until-1-year-of-age/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.mylittlemoppet.com/why-no-salt-and-sugar-for-babies-until-1-year-of-age/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By avoiding sugar and salt in the early years, you can make sure that your child does not develop salty cravings and sweet tooth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13178" LastEditorUserId="13178" LastEditDate="2016-08-12T06:00:03.353" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T06:00:03.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26534" CreationDate="2016-07-11T18:11:49.580" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is quite difficult to get a full picture from the brief outline you've provided, as you're not sharing what it is exactly that didn't work in your old approach, and what the problem is you're facing now. Is the child behind in language development? Is the child using one language more than the other? Is the child mixing their languages? Or..?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I'd like to say that children who are acquiring more than one language, can often appear behind in their language development compared to monolingual children, when in reality they're not. &#xA;When you compare a monolingual child using 50 words in language A to a bilingual child using 50 words, (of which 25 in language A and 25 words in language B), the bilingual child might appear to be behind in development in language A, but considering the child also acquiring 25 words in language B this makes sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also unclear what your 'language situation' is from your question. Do you live in a place with one majority language. Is your native language the majority language in your community or is English the majority language?&#xA;Children might not be interested in a language when they realise it's not relevant for them. Also, children and even adults will often not have equal skills in both languages, as the situations in which they use each language will often differ. (for example being skillful in religious related language in only one of their languages.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would advise on seeking additional advice on your child's language development and researching helpful bilingual approaches. &#xA;Lastly, I found Colin Baker - A Parents' and Teachers' Guide to Bilingualism rather helpful.&#xA;He also suggests judging whether a parent's fluency in a language is sufficient enough to be a good role model for your child. Raising a bilingual child could be a great opportunity for a parent to improve their own language skills beforehand, so they can help their child become skillful in both languages and not pass on problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user23776" LastActivityDate="2016-07-11T18:11:49.580" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26536" CreationDate="2016-07-11T20:07:15.370" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, that is pretty standard for that age. They are often focused intensely on whatever is holding their interest and it apparently takes some effort to switch to you, so they prefer to ignore you. And that is of course when they are not doing little Braveheart imitations and yelling &quot;Freedom!&quot; to see just how much space you will give them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to be worst when they're playing games or watching TV, so my solution there is to ask once, then pause the TV or game if they don't respond. At first it caused loud protests, but now they magically seem to remember my question and answer it quickly so I will let them get back to what they were doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not ideal, but I haven't found anything more effective yet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-07-11T20:07:15.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26536" CreationDate="2016-07-11T20:11:40.723" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would say this is a fairly standard thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also say that the best way to work on it is to both explain why you need a response - because otherwise you can't do whatever you were waiting for the response on - and to &lt;em&gt;yourself&lt;/em&gt; model this behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How often does our child ask a question or otherwise communicate with us, and we don't immediately respond because we're busy with something else or just tired of 'Mommy Mommy Mommy' or 'Daddy Daddy Daddy'?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Figuring out a way to respond consistently and timely to those responses without sacrificing our sanity is helpful in situations like this, because you model good behavior for your child and help them learn tools for dealing with situations like this even if they are busy, as you are.  They're busy with what is important to them, after all, even if you don't consider it as important as what you're busy with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-07-11T20:11:40.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26547" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-12T19:27:29.150" Score="2" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little one, has been very much disturbing lately as i work from home and my mrs is house wife. We recently shifted to our own place and bought my baby a lot of toys (although he had many before), the problem is he won't sleep, and if he sleep during day it is for few minutes and then wake up, this has exhausted us. While he was born and till last month, he was mostly in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.toysrus.co.uk/products/images/xlarge/0116467_CF0001.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;bouncer&lt;/a&gt;, and shaken it vigorously (by her mom or grandma), or in lap of his uncle would make him fall asleep.  Now he need same vigorously shake to sleep and while he is falling asleep (which i had to do while holding in my arms), makes loud sounds, fight and hard to put to sleep. During night, her mom pulls him from crib to feed him and cannot put him back as he won't sleep without suckling whenever he wants to. I know his sleep pattern has been really turned bad by choices,perhaps or that is my thinking, maybe i am wrong? but how can we change his habits, so we are bit relaxed and he can sleep with a sound sleep, because this habit is unhealthy for him and for us as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7778" LastActivityDate="2016-07-25T08:32:41.510" Title="Seven month baby won't sleep or nap for short period" Tags="|infant|behavior|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26548" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26561" CreationDate="2016-07-13T10:25:17.700" Score="1" ViewCount="148" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 1 year and 10 months old. She went through her first ever trauma when she had a seizure out of random. Now, we're at home and she's having a hard time staying asleep. All she wants is daddy to hold her and I had only 1/2 an hour of sleep and I have to be at work at 6 am, that's 2 1/2 hours away. What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23784" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-15T17:40:52.607" LastActivityDate="2018-07-15T17:41:32.970" Title="How to help almost 2-year-old stay asleep after traumatic experience?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26549" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-13T13:44:39.863" Score="1" ViewCount="130" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is two years old. So for we feed her only smashed rice, Dhal, Biscuits and milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There after we decided to give all vegetables doctors gave us green light also. What are the vegetable we can give to a two years old baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14392" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-07-13T16:46:34.047" LastActivityDate="2016-07-16T04:05:38.243" Title="What are the vegetables we can feed a two years old baby?" Tags="|feeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26550" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26553" CreationDate="2016-07-13T16:25:11.680" Score="1" ViewCount="587" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our daughter just turned 2 and it has been since 8 months since she has been weaned off breast milk. She now drinks whole milk. On some nights she sleeps through the night but on some nights she wakes up crying between 1 and 3 AM. We usually have to give her a bottle to put her back to sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/1711/how-do-we-help-our-toddler-to-sleep-through-the-night&quot;&gt;post&lt;/a&gt;, it suggested that we feed her more during the day to prevent her from waking up at night. But if she does wake up, is it better to let her cry (so she gets used to not getting the bottle at night) or better to feed her or better to try and put her back to sleep without feeding (this last option is not easy for us or her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel sorry for her to let her cry in the night but at the same time, my wife and I would like a good night's sleep as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T18:05:33.497" Title="Should we let our toddler cry herself to sleep when she asks for night feeding?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|bottle-feeding|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26549" CreationDate="2016-07-13T17:01:48.157" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here is a link to Baby Center, that I used a lot when my daughter was younger.  It only goes up to 12 months, but if you look through the different ages it lists vegetables suitable for that child's age.  So since your baby is now 2, she should be ready for all vegetables listed on this site.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just remember to mash or chop all vegetables up into small easily swallowed pieces.  I'd also suggest the veggies be cooked, so that they're softer and harder to choke on.  Also since they don't have very many teeth to use to chew yet, the softer cooked veggies are much easier for them to mush up in their mouths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also it's always a good idea to introduce only 1-2 different foods at a time just in case of any allergies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21899" LastActivityDate="2016-07-13T17:01:48.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26550" CreationDate="2016-07-13T18:09:09.437" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;At age 2, she almost certainly doesn't need the calories to get through the night.   Most babies reach that point at about 6 months.  She needs to learn how to soothe herself to sleep, and you need to give her the opportunity to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-07-13T18:09:09.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26550" CreationDate="2016-07-13T20:04:53.617" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you should or should not let her cry it out is completely up to you (obviously). &#xA;There is a lot of research on crying out loud, most of what I hear lately tells that crying out loud is harmfull ( &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out&lt;/a&gt; )&#xA;Ofcourse a lot of people tell something different, but my opinion (personal experience) is that most of them only say because they don't want to hear the opposite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most of the toddlers don't need the calories, so you can try to change the milk with water and see if that works to make her sleep. Even if she keeps waking up sometimes it lowers the chance of cariës.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And it will get better with time :) My daughter woke up every night when she was 2. With 3,5 it suddenly stopped. We never let her cry herself to sleep :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16948" LastEditorUserId="16948" LastEditDate="2016-07-13T20:15:50.933" LastActivityDate="2016-07-13T20:15:50.933" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26554" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-13T20:45:16.900" Score="7" ViewCount="2940" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a single mom for 2 kids. My husband passed a decade ago. Lets name my sons: Arno 34 and Bob 31. Both married, moved out and have a kid each. Bob and his family have settled relatively far away. But I do visit them and they visit me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Problem is with Arno's wife, who lives nearby (40 mins away) We've had few unpleasant conversations and unpleasant days in the past. I've requested them not to visit me. May be if we stay apart for few months, things will cool down and we might have a better relation. Still they keep coming, asking for money, verbally abuse me, controlling my friends circle, snatching things from me, hide things (eg: tv remote, ac remote, keys etc), yup! very very irritatingly silly to deal with! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm self made, worked hard in my own days, very independent. But now I want to lead my retired life peacefully and quiet. But this is been happening for a long time and now I've really given up on them and I just want to be left alone. They become reckless and scare me sometimes. I'm just fed up of them and their behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I request them not to come, their response: &lt;em&gt;This is my father's/father-in-law's home, I will/can come, you can't stop it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried all possible ways to explain them what values in life are, how I treated my in-laws, how my husband (when he was alive) treated my parents. What we would teach their kids if you keep doing this. But none seems to be working, they are not getting it. How do I keep myself from them bullying me?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PS:&lt;/strong&gt; I live in southern part of India, Bob and family are affectionate towards me, but I've been living in the same home for pretty much my entire life after marriage and I don't want to leave my home/friends/circle from the place I currently stay.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23788" LastEditorUserId="23788" LastEditDate="2016-07-13T20:51:44.743" LastActivityDate="2016-07-14T02:12:33.213" Title="How to handle a bully-daughter-in-law and a henpecked-son?" Tags="|adult-child|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26555" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26554" CreationDate="2016-07-13T23:40:20.617" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This answer is being given by someone unfamiliar with the laws and customs of India, so it may or may not apply.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have a right to peace which is not superseded by the rights of others to invade your home. You (and your husband) paid for your home, you own it (do you own it by law? Does your son have a valid claim to any of it at all?) and it is the place you have chosen to live. Take a stand (which you have done) and &lt;strong&gt;set boundaries&lt;/strong&gt;. If you're unfamiliar with healthy boundaries, please read about them. It will help you navigate the lack of respect being shown you by your son and daughter-in-law.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son and his wife have keys to your house, you can have the locks changed. They will be unable to enter your house in the event they show up uninvited. If you simply explain &lt;em&gt;every time&lt;/em&gt; that you will not allow them into your house uninvited, eventually they should get the idea. If they're shouting at you through the door, put on some loud music or earplugs, then apologize to the neighbors later on if you feel the need to explain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially, only meet outside of your home. Let it be known beforehand that verbal abuse is not acceptable behavior, and if you are visiting with them (at their home, a restaurant, a park, or other) and they become abusive, excuse yourself and leave. Again, if this happens often enough, they will get the picture (or should.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You've tried the explaining route and the setting-an-example route (how you treated your in-laws.) Now it's time to enforce your own rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You run the risk of alienating your son and his wife even more, but it sounds like a bad situation already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope this helps. Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-07-13T23:40:20.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26559" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4462" CreationDate="2016-07-14T17:45:49.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am an 87 year old great-grandmother.  I gave birth to 5 children from November 1951 to September 1960. (One weighed 6 lbs. 12 ounces.)  None of my doctors ever gave me such ridiculous advice about waking a sleeping baby every 3 hours at night to be fed.   Neither my daughter, mother of 4, nor my daughter-in-law, also mother or four, were given this advice either. I think some doctors get so involved in their field of speciality that they feel they must come up with new ways of doing things.  God had it figured out from the beginning of time.  There have been millions of children born who were not awakened to be fed and they grew with only &quot;on demand&quot; feedings! Please, let your babies sleep.  Mothers need their sleep, too! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23794" LastActivityDate="2016-07-14T17:45:49.357" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26560" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="9314" CreationDate="2016-07-15T01:59:33.053" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a swim instructor and a social worker who's helped many children and adults to overcome their phobias in the water. I've used techniques I've studied, including imagry, fear erasure, and deep relaxation with every step taught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child I was teaching couldn't let go of 1 foot in order to float onto the step. I asked her to talk to her foot (kids love fantasy) and assure her foot that all would be ok if she let the foot go and jump up with the other foot. After several repetitions of this, she let go and floated and kicked to the stairs with both feet together. The next day she was jumping in and submerging fully and floating comfortably on her stomach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Erasure therapy: I asked a child (4 1/2 years old) who would not put her whole face in the water, to picture in her mind when she had fallen into a baby pool at age 2, then I told her to imagine taking a black crayon and coloring over the picture of her remembering when she fell in. Afterward, she was able to put her whole face into the water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23797" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-07-15T11:32:59.117" LastActivityDate="2016-07-15T11:32:59.117" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26561" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26548" CreationDate="2016-07-15T02:34:07.833" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like it was a traumatic experience for you as well. Children are more resilient than parents and your daughter should recover from the scary experience quickly. It is important to try and focus on keeping yourself calm. If you can, take the day off work. If not remember that you can persevere through a short period of poor rest. Try to get back to or establish a bedtime routine that helps you both unwind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19339" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-15T17:41:32.970" LastActivityDate="2018-07-15T17:41:32.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26563" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8304" CreationDate="2016-07-15T09:09:40.353" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the youngest of four children. I found, especially when I was younger, that it was not an issue when I got hand me downs. The issues arise when I got older and started, not only being self-conscious and wanting to develop my own style, but by my growing awareness of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't mind clothes being handed down if they were in nice condition because my older brother had gotten hand me downs from my oldest brother. I really didn't care about my sister getting new clothes because she was a girl and that made sense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had issues with hand me downs when I noticed that all three of my siblings had all had something new and then I was stuck with the old stuff. When I went off to college, while both of my brothers and my sister had gotten new dorm bedding and new everything for their dorm rooms, I was given some old, stained bed sheets and the comforter had a hole in it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aside from the obvious annoyance that the items were in poor condition, I was more annoyed that my parents were treating me differently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that said, hand me downs aren't bad, but make sure that you are fair with all of your children. If you have five kids and all of them except the youngest are being bought new things, that would create resentment because it can seem like there ia favoritism and inequality&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23799" LastActivityDate="2016-07-15T09:09:40.353" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26566" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-16T01:20:56.960" Score="4" ViewCount="220" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am of the opinion that modern computing technology is too good for kids--games graphics leave little to the imagination, things work more reliably and don't require troubleshooting, etc.--so I am hesitant to get a &quot;kid-friendly&quot; computer for my preschool-age kids.  On the other hand, I grew up with 80s-era technology, where cryptic error messages and primitive visualizations were &lt;em&gt;de rigueur&lt;/em&gt;.  As a result, I think I am much more computer literate, since I had to debug BASIC code to get anything to work.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, my question: has anyone recreated an 80s-era PC computing experience for their kids, short of buying a C-64 on eBay?  Mostly, I want to encourage use of command lines and requiring problem solving to get what you want done, not just tapping an icon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I realize this is somewhat akin to saying &quot;You want to learn how to read?  Here's a printing press... have fun!&quot;  Humor me.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23809" LastActivityDate="2016-07-16T23:28:44.103" Title="80s-era computing experience in 2016?" Tags="|pre-schooler|computer|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="6" ClosedDate="2016-07-16T15:14:22.190" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8304" CreationDate="2016-07-16T04:02:42.570" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One way to think about all economic decisions of this sort that generate some slight unfairness, is that you want to insure the children understand the tradeoffs. They are intelligent, and willing to take one for the team, as long as one takes the time to explain it to them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you acknowledge the issue and make some sort of amend, like an extra ice cream cone a year, for the kid that only gets used clothes, then it can be turned from a problem into a cute family tradition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-07-16T04:02:42.570" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26568" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26549" CreationDate="2016-07-16T04:05:38.243" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't sweat it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2 year old: she can eat almost anything, as long as it does not have the potential to choke her. My kids ate beans, fish, avocado, nuts, chocolate, broccoli, kale, carrots, potatles, cauliflower, apples, bananas, pears, apricots, etc, etc, etc by the time they were 2.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13335" LastActivityDate="2016-07-16T04:05:38.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26569" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26572" CreationDate="2016-07-16T04:59:11.397" Score="5" ViewCount="1803" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is reading multiple books a day (He is home for summer holidays for now). I gather it is a good, but I doubt that he reads every word &amp;amp; line  while reading. Should I worry that this will develop into a bad habit &amp;amp; result into poor comprehension? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did test him on the overall stories &amp;amp; understanding, he seems to know the high level details, but sometimes he can't tell page by page details.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23810" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-07-16T13:43:02.447" LastActivityDate="2016-07-19T00:33:30.293" Title="Kid reading too fast" Tags="|reading|habits|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26572" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26569" CreationDate="2016-07-16T14:01:30.937" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This depends on the child's personality and the level of difficulty of the books he's reading. It may well be that he's excited (or bored) and wants to get to the good parts, or that the book can really be read and understood while skipping some of the fine details.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although you don't read that way, I would be willing to bet that if asked &lt;em&gt;exactly&lt;/em&gt; what happened a few pages before (What kind of car did the woman get into? What color was her dress?), those relatively meaningless details would be fuzzy for you, too. There's a lot of fluff in most books. That's why the better books are better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some possible suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get him books above his reading level, &lt;em&gt;good ones&lt;/em&gt;. Newbery medal winners, or Caldecott medal winners. Read a few of them yourself and after he reads them, have a discussion (try to make it fun; over ice cream or something) with him. See how much he missed compared to you. If he didn't miss much, you can relax.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are still worried, there are books out there that test for all aspects of reading comprehension: meaning, context, implications, etc. on his grade school level. Invest in a few of these and do exercises daily (they don't take long) to see if you can identify any particular weaknesses he has (e.g. does he read too fast to understand implications?). The books should instruct you on how to work with your son on these critical (meaning evaluative, not important) thinking skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes, it's summer. He's giving a little bit of something up. Make it worthwhile (he gets to pick a family outing or something once in a while.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you can just leave it to his teachers, who actually test for stuff like this, even early on. Talk to them about your concerns and see what their thoughts are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It depends if you want to be &quot;hands off&quot;, &quot;hands on&quot;, or &quot;very hands on&quot;. Either way, one of the most oft-cited statistics in how well a child does in school is how involved the parents are in their education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-07-16T14:01:30.937" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26575" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26569" CreationDate="2016-07-16T16:28:09.343" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Encourage him!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is one of the best things to see a child doing, as it is an excellent way to get knowledge into them (whereas forcing them to read isn't) and can be a strong correlator with intelligence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was the same, and still vacuum up books at an incredibly fast rate (usually a few on the go at any one time, but getting through 5 or 6 a week is not uncommon even with very little spare time from my day job, volunteer work and musical productions) and bring able to read all the school syllabus, plus hundreds of novels, scientific papers etc really helped me get ahead of my peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest trying to provide books at a higher difficulty level, or even look at having him sit an intelligence test - he maybe just needs more input.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-07-16T16:28:09.343" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26569" CreationDate="2016-07-16T22:12:17.947" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a life long fast reader, it has been nothing but a pure benefit for me throughout life, in school and beyond.  According to what I've read, and my own experience, reading fast doesn't necessarily decrease comprehension, and in some cases can even increase it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, the most important thing is that your child loves books.  If he reads well, it will not be difficult for him to learn to slow down and read more carefully when he needs to catch the fine details.  I can't think of anything more potentially destructive to his love of reading than forcing him to read slowly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary, most parents, including myself, would love to have this problem!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2016-07-16T22:18:15.557" LastActivityDate="2016-07-16T22:18:15.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18268" CreationDate="2016-07-17T08:07:48.233" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been using &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Nonviolent Communication&lt;/a&gt; (NC) for some months and it works. I have a son who is 13 and a son who is 9 and mentally handicapped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NC helped me a lot and daily life is much more relaxed now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is how I apply it in my life:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;listen to his feelings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't judge: There is no &quot;wrong&quot; or &quot;right&quot;. Only different opinions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you want to give advice or hints: don't. Be silent, and LISTEN.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask how you can help. Don't ask &quot;Should I do &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; to help you?&quot;. Ask &lt;em&gt;&quot;How can I help you?&quot;&lt;/em&gt; There is a big difference between the two.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your son sees no sense in school, then talk about what he wants to do instead. The son of Marshall Rosenberg felt the same way. And he supported him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't get angry. Open your heart, let your tears flow if you feel like it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Love is like a butterfly. You can't force the butterfly to stay. You can only try to have a warm and friendly relationship.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he does not want to talk to you when you first ask, ask if he has time in the evening or tomorrow. DON'T FORGET TO COME AGAIN! If you do, then &lt;strong&gt;you seem to be overloaded&lt;/strong&gt;. Most people can't listen if they are overloaded. You need to relax. Check your priorities: Family vs Job vs ...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After reading my hints ... If you tell your son that he is overloaded, then stop it! Go to step one: listen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't tell him about NC today. He won't listen, since he currently doesn't listen to teachers. You can do it in one year, if it was successful.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please ask if you don't understand something. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21944" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-07-17T15:11:59.060" LastActivityDate="2016-07-17T15:11:59.060" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26581" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-17T14:00:21.183" Score="7" ViewCount="6415" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler really likes to play with his construction vehicles; every time we see a construction vehicle along the road, he shouts, &quot;Back Hoe!&quot;, &quot;Cement Mixer!&quot;, &quot;Bulldozer!&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He likes cars but when we go to the toy store he always chooses construction vehicles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I heard on television that parents should support their children with what they like, especially in their formative years, so I wonder: can this possibly be his passion in life? What can I do to nurture this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't like playing blocks so I think he don't like to build things, he just wants to play with construction vehicles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to support my child? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23821" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-07-17T14:53:20.717" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T20:09:27.233" Title="Toddler really likes construction vehicles" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26582" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26581" CreationDate="2016-07-17T15:02:14.013" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;Who really knows what goes on in a toddler's mind? Maybe he will be a construction worker, but if a toddler's favorite toys are any indication, he will not. It's most likely a phase he's going through now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to nurture him now, though, is easy enough. The library should have lots of children's books with construction vehicles; check some out and read those to him. Build him a sandbox in which he can use his vehicles to do &quot;work&quot; (include other objects as well.) There are probably videos somewhere of the same. You can write him a book yourself with drawings (if you can't draw, you can cut pictures out) and include other elements that he likes. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, please don't pin any hopes on this phase of play, because that is what they most often are: phases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-07-17T15:02:14.013" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26583" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26581" CreationDate="2016-07-17T17:04:34.027" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children often enjoy playing with vehicles!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have wheels, which makes them easy to move around on the floor. Construction vehicles often have moving parts that are easy to manipulate at their age. Then, real construction vehicles are &lt;em&gt;huge&lt;/em&gt;. To a toddler, they're absolutely massive. They can do things that humans and animals can't do. This can be rather awe-inspiring and amazing. It's why airplanes, helicopters, tractors and semi-trucks are also exciting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son also loves these things. We encourage his interest by teaching him the names of the vehicles, and what they do. We have several books about these types of vehicles. He has toys of these vehicles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the primary ways we continue to engage his interest are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pointing out the machinery when we see it. Building and road construction is very common in our town. We point out cranes, and ask him to describe them. Big? Color? What's it doing: building a house, lifting a block? Where is the driver? We do that for all vehicles. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We take him to places where he can interact with these vehicles. There's yearly event in a town nearby where they bring all sorts of trucks and tractors, and the kids can climb inside of them. He's been in tractors, firetrucks, police cars and a few other types of large vehicles. We have relatives that have owned tractors, so he's been able to get up close to them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These methods of encouragement can be applied to any interest in real objects. Get them to think about them (the describing, pointing out) and realizing what they do (like breaking up a road, or digging a hole) and that they're ground in reality (actually doing something, have a person behind the controls, are approachable). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By engaging their mind and giving them as much information as possible, you'll let their interest grow. It's important to remember that children absorb information by experience as much as by being told descriptions or seeing pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to point out that we do this with &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of his interests. Interests may come and go, but we're teaching him how to discover things on his own and relate to the world around him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-07-18T20:12:32.400" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T20:12:32.400" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26586" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26581" CreationDate="2016-07-18T11:35:27.890" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kid is similar. I sometime wonder if he think these are all wild animals that we are able to domesticate. There's no guarantee that this will be his passion in life since later he will learn more complex things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We gave him small toys for this purpose but we don't exaggerate. I took the opportunity to teach him a lot of things using his trucks. He learned colors, size, up, down, under, over, fast, slow. Also, we played games like waiting our turn to dig holes, waiting for the red light. Learning processes (we do x, after we do y, after we do z, repeat). Learning all the parts (wheel, motor, wiper, ...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later you can slowly transition the activity, play with the trucks and then add the blocks, add figurine, ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7762" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T11:35:27.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26587" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-18T12:57:36.510" Score="4" ViewCount="204" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is going to be 5 months. She has recently started to turn herself over onto her side and that is how she likes to sleep. She then in her sleep rolls onto her stomach and sleeps on her stomach but only till her binky falls out. Then she wakes up and cries until we can get her binky back in. This happens 2 or 3 times an hour each night and my wife and I are starting to lose so much sleep it is effecting our work. She goes to bed at 8PM and used to sleep till 6AM - 7AM but recently she has been waking up at 4AM - 5AM. Does anyone have any ideas that could help her stay on her side? My wife is looking into a Merlin sleep sack but if she doesn't enjoy going back to sleeping on her back I can only assume our 5 hours of sleep a night will drop to 3. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17484" LastActivityDate="2016-07-22T07:08:23.040" Title="Getting used to Stomach Sleeping" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26587" CreationDate="2016-07-18T13:19:06.487" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing you can do to keep your baby on her side, once babies realize they can flip themselves over then they want to do it and sometimes they end up on their front. You can either:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wait it out: she may get used to her binky (pacifier/dummy) falling out or figure out how to keep it in or get it back in herself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wean her off the binky: kids rarely end up giving up their pacifier by themselves, you have to wean them off it. There's various ways to do this, but all of them involve a few bad nights. That's unavoidable, my advice is once you start it you have to finish it, if you give in once you'll never be rid of it. Once you are rid of it though she won't need it to sleep anymore and problem solved&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3019" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T13:19:06.487" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21576" CreationDate="2016-07-18T13:22:14.860" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are different ideas of &quot;counting&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Memorizing 10 words in a row.&lt;/em&gt; If they started to speak early and practice a lot, they can manage it when they are about two years old. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;Being able to count the number of items/fingers etc.&lt;/em&gt; My daughter and her friends started doing this correctly when they were four years old.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13329" LastEditorUserId="13329" LastEditDate="2020-05-05T12:29:09.763" LastActivityDate="2020-05-05T12:29:09.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26587" CreationDate="2016-07-18T13:32:36.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone who used to babysit and raised my own babies, I've seen the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Soft, breathable, terrycloth side barriers with a cloth connection between the 2 sides to keep a back or side position&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A not-very-much-softer bed mattress (if your baby is skinny, then a hard baby mattress might be hard on baby comfort and baby bones, and they will turn to find a comfortable position)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Very soft, continuous music&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Interesting things for baby to look at&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Baby in a crib in the parents' room so that parents don't have to leave the room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If baby isn't sleeping through the night on her back or side, maybe her milk or formula has components which her body is not digesting well (maybe causing baby to turn onto her stomach for relief). Maybe she's too close to a TV or other electrical appliances which could disturb deep sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23830" LastEditorUserId="17176" LastEditDate="2016-07-21T16:30:01.603" LastActivityDate="2016-07-21T16:30:01.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26591" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-18T13:44:46.180" Score="2" ViewCount="360" Body="&lt;p&gt;We live an hour away from my daughter's school. She takes a train to get to school. Last year (our 1st year here) she made friendships at school but wasn't invited to anyone's home. Nobody called her. (There are no girls in our neighborhood) She didn't invite anyone to come because she said they'd be bored here. Instead, she became addicted to her iPod. She doesn't look at anything indecent or connect to any bad websites. We have filters on. But we are obviously concerned as to how we can get her to stretch herself to want to invite girls over, and separate her from he iPod.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23830" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T00:05:28.570" LastActivityDate="2018-05-01T16:20:43.627" Title="Teenage withdrawal into iPod" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26581" CreationDate="2016-07-18T14:09:04.230" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;As other people have pointed out, it's simply too early to tell if this will be your son's passion in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But that doesn't mean you shouldn't support it and nurture his interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a toddler, the best way to do this is to gradually expose him to a wider variety of construction vehicles, and provide increasingly detailed contexts in which they're used.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/26583/420&quot;&gt;CreationEdge&lt;/a&gt; mentioned, pointing them out when you see them, and bringing your son to places with a variety of vehicles at work, is a great way to nurture his interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/26581/toddler-really-likes-construction-vehicles#comment51777_26582&quot;&gt;Rory's&lt;/a&gt; suggestion of &quot;How its Made&quot; and &quot;Mega Machines&quot; (we watched &quot;Mighty Machines&quot;, which was geared for young children; I'm not sure if that's different from &quot;Mega Machines&quot;) are great choices for TV entertainment, but, as with all TV entertainment at that age, it is best if you watch with him, and actively engage him throughout the show with questions and discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on your area, local farm shows, town fairs, and conventions might be great activities where these vehicles can be viewed, and possibly even directly interacted with (our annual town fair includes a section of modern farming equipment where kids can climb into the seats and play with the controls).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As his verbal skills grow, talk with him not only about the vehicles, but about how they're used, and why what they do is important.  Talk about the people who drive them.  Talk about the people who design them.  Talk about the people who build them.  The goal is to show him that there are lots of different ways people can be involved in these cool machines, which will help him decide which areas he might be most interested in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are, after all, some very different careers that all work directly with these machines.  Construction crews, mining companies, engineers, assembly line workers, sales representatives, etc., all have very different roles, but work with the same machines.  Discussing these different jobs with your son could open up entirely new areas of interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T14:09:04.230" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26550" CreationDate="2016-07-18T18:05:33.497" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Agree with swbarnes2. At that age, eating more by day will not help her not be hungry at night. Does it make a difference to you at night whether you ate more by day? No. Because your body was taught to not require feeding in the middle of the night. Children at that age do not need to drink milk in the middle of the night. There will be occasions where your child may need an extra drink or two such as during the summer, or after a salty dinner, but not every single night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She needs to be sleep trained to avoid waking up at that hour. Personally, I'm a fan of controlled crying. I let my child cry for up to five minutes, at which point I go in there and calm him down without picking him up. Then I leave. Repeat as needed. From my own experience and those of my family and friends, following this approach generally worked after 3-5 days. The end result? You taught your child how to fall asleep on his own without needing a bottle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try a pacifier, if she takes one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T18:05:33.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26591" CreationDate="2016-07-18T18:09:04.997" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try installing a timer on the filter. Many filters offer options where you can shut down specific features, apps or the web at a certain time. Obviously, the only way to rid her of the addiction is to stop it. It may be a bit harsh to just go cold turkey, but I think limiting her usage is a must. Be strong!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T18:09:04.997" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26596" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-18T19:27:00.423" Score="5" ViewCount="263" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 year old daughter's preschool gives out little homework books to help the kids start to learn letters and numbers on their own time.  They work in these books weekly at school, but participation is largely optional.  Our daughter is very active and has some trouble focusing, so she rarely participates in this activity at school.  She will be starting pre-K next month, so we would like to start building good learning habits by using the homework books we get from school as practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, she is not a willing participant and puts up a big fight whenever we try to get her to do any work.  She mostly just stares blankly or flops around in her chair.  When she does write, she mostly scribbles or plays dumb about what she is supposed to be doing.  I would say she just isn't ready for what we are asking, but on her own, she is actually quite good at identifying and drawing letters and numbers.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't really blame her for not wanting to work, because practicing letters and numbers is boring compared to playing, but we are not asking for more than 10 minutes per day.  We have tried to briber her with rewards if she completes her work, and have tried giving time outs when she refuses to cooperate.  We want to create good work habits early, not poison her against school before she even starts.  What are some ways we can motivate our daughter to do her work?  Should we avoid negative consequences at this point and only focus on positive reinforcement?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4660" LastEditorUserId="4660" LastEditDate="2016-07-18T19:36:09.780" LastActivityDate="2016-07-20T16:38:21.620" Title="Encouraging good homework habits at preschool age" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|homework|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26598" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26581" CreationDate="2016-07-18T20:21:02.840" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What I have seen, is that when a child attaches to a specific toy or type of toy, it isn't necessarily that they want exactly the face value of the toy. Instead you may want to look at the feelings or ideas behind the toy. Children do not have a lot of life experiences so they do not know how to fully express themselves. &#xA;On your child attaching to Construction Vehicles, I would say that he is enjoying the idea of the power behind the machine. He doesn't like other cars because they do not have the same kind of force. So this could show you early on that he enjoy being in more leadership roles, and wanting to achieve a striving for more than the common man's goals. I would support your Child by making things more complex for them, helping them develop their brains so that they will view the world in a different light than everyone else. Put them into boy scouts, teach them how to build an engine, advanced math. Because then when his peers may encounter a problem and not engage because they do not know how to solve problems, he can take charge and show them it is easy. He will have the mind power equivalent to a construction vehicle while all of his peers may have the power of a car. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The alternative is he is really young and he just likes construction vehicles&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23837" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T20:21:02.840" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26599" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26596" CreationDate="2016-07-18T21:17:01.987" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/22/should-preschoolers-have-homework/?_r=0&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;According to research&lt;/a&gt;, homework for preschoolers is an educational trend without any real benefits to the child.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, that doesn't mean her school will be responsive to that point of view.  However, given that, I wouldn't push her too hard, there's some evidence that can be counterproductive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T21:17:01.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26600" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26591" CreationDate="2016-07-18T21:23:55.793" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was a pre-teen, it was long before iPods, but my mother was concerned about me not having friends and spending way too much time on the computer.  Instead of banning me from the computer, she enrolled me in a theater class, which I ended up loving.  It opened up a new world to me, and I made lasting friendships there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The lesson I've taken from that as a parent now myself is that it's better to provide positive alternatives than just to take something away. Are there any groups your daughter could participate in that are appropriate to her age and interests? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own kids are 6 and 8 right now, and it drives me crazy when they want to play games on our phones... but I take comfort in the fact that they also like to draw, play music, build with blocks and play outdoors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T14:06:22.733" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T14:06:22.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26262" CreationDate="2016-07-18T21:28:43.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children have a very sophisticated sense of what works to get what they want.  Your partner's daughter isn't a whiny brat around you, because you don't respond well to that behavior, but apparently your partner gives in easily to that kind of behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own daughter has two personalities she puts on for me and my wife.  For me, she is sweet and sugary, because she knows I can be charmed, but refuse to give into whining.  For my wife, she is whiny, because my wife can't be charmed, but gets worn down by whining. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The upshot is the behavior won't change unless your partner commits to not giving into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T21:28:43.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2016-07-18T22:31:41.947" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 19 month old son does not know how to counter his weight yet his feet come right up behind him and he goes face first every time we bought a suit with a blow up tube made in it and it came with a blow up ring that I sit him in and it keeps him upper body out of the water and he can't get out of it or flip it over but he never leaves my side either he could pull his arms out of the puddle jumper so we returned it and all the life jackets were way too big or way to small so we will just stick with the blow up suit and baby boat for now, no rush y'all should definitely look into that I think we bought it all walmart&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23839" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T22:31:41.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5414" CreationDate="2016-07-18T22:36:34.007" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.walmart.com/ip/SwimSchool-2-in-1-Baby-Boat-Girl-s-Splash-Giggle/47745881&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.walmart.com/ip/SwimSchool-2-in-1-Baby-Boat-Girl-s-Splash-Giggle/47745881&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the link they should have a blue one like this for boys as well. It has worked very good for us and I see a few others on Walmart.com under baby floats they have a lot more stuff online than instore&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23839" LastActivityDate="2016-07-18T22:36:34.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26596" CreationDate="2016-07-19T00:25:32.427" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;IMO 4 years old is far too young to consider homework. When I was in grammar school, homework was work not completed in class (and there was plenty of time given).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Rather than treating these packets as homework, try incorporating it as part of your one on one time activities. Make a game of writing the letters and give her time to instruct you as well. Teaching back engages the brain far better than repetition. This will help the concepts to stick as well as reduce the boredom factor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Addendum&lt;/em&gt;: If the homework packets don't get done, don't worry as long as you're spending that time working together each day. Better habits will form from that time together than sitting with pencil in hand because she is told to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18994" LastActivityDate="2016-07-19T00:25:32.427" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26607" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26569" CreationDate="2016-07-19T00:33:30.293" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;People read in many different ways and it does not always stay the same for their whole life.  I was an extremely fast reader when I was younger because I didn't care for the exact details and skimmed a lot of the less important details (e.g. &quot;her dress blew in the wind&quot; vs &quot;her dress rippled softly in the warm gentle evening breeze&quot;).  I eventually decided that it was the details and nuances that set apart the good authors from the great authors and now revel over every letter.  I know that I benefited from my love of books when I was younger even though I didn't read them the same way I do today.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend encouragement and support.  Let your son read the way he wants to read.  If you start trying to control his style you will lessen the experience for him and may steer him away from books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7756" LastActivityDate="2016-07-19T00:33:30.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26608" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26610" CreationDate="2016-07-19T02:29:12.543" Score="4" ViewCount="1598" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old daughter cries every time her teacher raise her voice.For instance, during art subject when the teacher saw her using red color instead black and told her &quot;No, Jesse please use black&quot;.There is also instance when teacher raised her voice and told her class to stop making a noise then she suddenly cried. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am worried because she seems sensitive. What should I do so she can overcome it?   Appreciate your help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23840" LastActivityDate="2017-06-14T16:16:09.973" Title="3 year old cries when the teacher raise her voice" Tags="|behavior|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26610" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26608" CreationDate="2016-07-19T07:36:53.527" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;If her teacher is actually yelling at her, I'd be surprised if she didn't cry.  I'd also consider finding another school.  Teachers should &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; yell or shout at children.  Parents shouldn't either, for that matter, though nobody is perfect, but I would expect teachers to be held to a higher standard in that regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At three, yelling or shouting is going to be surprising to the child, and upsetting, because the child won't be able to immediately process why the yelling occurred. What the child experiences is primarily that an adult the child trusts is upset, and is doing something scary. The child won't particularly link that to the action that precipitated the yelling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children that don't respond this way to yelling largely do so because they're &lt;em&gt;used&lt;/em&gt; to yelling. This is not a good thing.  It both means that the yelling is not accomplishing what the parent intends it to (not that it ever accomplishes much, outside of that rare time you yell to keep your child from crossing the street in traffic), and that the child has decided it's normal for a person he/she trusts to yell and shout - meaning that's probably going to be the child's response to stress, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short - your child is normal, and being sensitive isn't a bad thing particularly at this age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the first paragraph isn't about yelling, but simply about constructive criticism; I'd point you to the far majority of adults who are similarly incapable of accepting constructive criticism. Your child may be frustrated because the teacher was disapproving, or she doesn't understand why she should have used black, or any number of other things.  The teacher should likely have addressed the issue in a different way - in such a way that your child understood the reasons for why.  You need to work with children over a long period of time to help them learn how to respond to constructive criticism. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The toolkit includes things like parsing the criticism to understand what was done differently; asking questions to find out the 'why' if not provided immediately; and realizing that everyone makes mistakes. This last one is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; hard for children as well as adults to recognize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-07-19T07:36:53.527" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21576" CreationDate="2016-07-20T11:23:45.733" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There &lt;em&gt;can't&lt;/em&gt; be such thing as a &quot;typical age&quot; for this milestone (I mean, more precise than &quot;about 2 years old&quot;).  Keep in mind that toddler's vocabulary is quite limited :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;mean [Language Development Survey] vocabulary scores at 24 months have been between 175 and 195 words, with standard deviations in the range of 70 to 80 (Klee et al., 1998; Rescorla &amp;amp; Alley, 2001). [&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aseba.org/research/language.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;source&lt;/a&gt;]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means (roughly) that about 70 % of children know &quot;&lt;em&gt;between 100 and 280 words&lt;/em&gt;&quot; at 24 months — and 15 % more than 280, 15 % less than 100.  See the large dispersion ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you can translate this dispersion into a time dispersion.  As a rough guess, most children should be able to speak 100 words somewhen between 20 months and 26 months.  But being able to count to 10 would mean that 10 % of the words he knows are numbers !&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given that, and the fact that some parents will put some effort on numbers while others won't mind at all, not to mention the interest of the child himself, there is no way some &quot;typical age&quot; can emerge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore, as reminded by arved there is a strong difference between counting as a nursery rhyme and understanding the meaning of numbers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastActivityDate="2016-07-20T11:23:45.733" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26596" CreationDate="2016-07-20T16:38:21.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree that 4 is very young. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest is very interested in writing and reading. He didn't get homework, and I don't think you need to practice 'doing homework'. Personally I think it is time to do it later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to practice letters though, incorporate them in something fun that shows WHY you write them. My son really loved signing his name on birthday cards and artwork. He wrote and decorated a 'happy birthday' sign for grandma and grandpa (I wrote 'grandma' on a piece of paper he could copy) when we video called grandparents for their birthday. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is anything wrong with practicing letters and numbers at age 4, if the kids are interested. But I think it needs to be FUN. I would worry that forcing kids to do homework will make them dislike it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-07-20T16:38:21.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26500" CreationDate="2016-07-20T22:28:40.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before you follow any advice you find here or elsewhere on the web, you really should call your pediatrician, who is the expert you pay for helping in these types of situations. If you are a new parent, you may not realize that most pediatricians' office have nurses or medical assistants who take these types of phone calls. These professionals can give you advice on over the counter remedies, as well as give you advice on when it is time to seek help from a practitioner. With five kids, I think we know the doctor's medical assistant better than we know the doctor herself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another good source of advice in a situation like this is to ask a pharmacist, who is an expert in both prescription and, more importantly in this case, over the counter remedies. I think we often don't give pharmacists the credit they deserve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Mayo Clinic has a page of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/colic/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20019091&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;advice on colic&lt;/a&gt;; you might find that page useful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, sometimes there is nothing you can do to help. But I can promise you this: it does get better. With our first kid, we sat up for many hours every night watching movies (with the subtitles on, because we couldn't hear the movie over the crying), holding, rocking, and trying to comfort a very fussy, colicky baby, and eventually he grew out of it. That was a really good time for us to have a Netflix subscription. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hang in there! It's hard, but you can do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22164" LastActivityDate="2016-07-20T22:28:40.567" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12357" CreationDate="2016-07-21T09:57:49.820" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My five yr daughter does the same thing except for the biting and spitting and hitting. She throws herself around and screams no. I designed a behavior chart for her and let her help, it has committed tags that we use to let her know where she stands with her behavior all through out the day. Red is for bad behavior, yellow is for caution watch your behavior, and green is good behavior. She likes it because she can see it and knows by the end of the week of she stays on green that she can be rewarded by an outing or game time with just me and her. She responses very well to this chart as this is what her TK teacher used in class this past school year. I started it because I didn't want her to forget that she still needed to mind her P 's and A's, and it works. Given she has bad days but I notice that have become less frequently and she improves every day. Other than that she is a very loving, kind little gal who loves to help and give hugs. Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23860" LastActivityDate="2016-07-21T09:57:49.820" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26625" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26630" CreationDate="2016-07-21T12:21:54.320" Score="2" ViewCount="377" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2,5 year old daughter. When I attempt to do something for her (be it warming her milk, changing her clothes or picking her up from the highchairs), most of the time she says &quot;Don't do it. I want mommy to do it&quot;. When we asked why, she first refused to tell us, then she told us &quot;I'm afraid of lions&quot;. A little background here: We would tell her &quot;Daddy is strong as a lion and he will always protect us&quot;, I would roar and we would all have a laugh. When she said she was afraid, we agreed I would never be lion again, just strong, and she nodded. These days, the same behaviour started occuring. When my wife asked her, she would say &quot;I don't know&quot;. How do we get her to tell us the (real) reason?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14423" LastEditorUserId="14423" LastEditDate="2016-07-21T13:06:51.343" LastActivityDate="2016-07-22T23:58:51.977" Title="How do we get our daughter to tell us the real reason?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26587" CreationDate="2016-07-22T07:08:23.040" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girl did that one month ago, it last for a week or so. So, here is what worked for us :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Go to bed earlier : a few weeks of sacrificed evenings is nothing to keeping your job, if your kid cry at four in the morning means you get 3 hours of sleep instead of 5, get to bed at 23:00 instead of 1:00. I know it's a pain, I had to give up some things because of this, but it'll come back.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a quick &quot;get to bed&quot; ritual. We just did this and got back to our bed. She sometime complained for 2/5 minutes then got back to sleep. Our ritual : Go in her room, hug her, give her her pacifier back and put her plushie on her belly (one appropriate for kids, of course), put on a lullaby on low volume. Ten minute from baby crying to everyone sleeping again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Don't feed your kid if she had somewhat enough during the day. Our first nights and days were made worse by trying to feed ours. It put her in a waked cycle that we needed to stay awake through. And it's far longer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastActivityDate="2016-07-22T07:08:23.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26630" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26625" CreationDate="2016-07-22T10:51:04.720" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children tend to go through phases where they strongly favor one parent, which seems to be happening to your daughter. Your daughter wants to maximize time and attention from her mother, that's why she protests if you do things with her that her mother would otherwise do. You're not doing anything wrong or different, you're just not mommy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This phase will pass again and who knows, in a few months mommy will not be allowed to do anything with her. In the meantime, you're stuck with the protests every time you try to help or interact with her. Stay calm, be persistent. If she learns that protests and screaming get her mommy's attention, it'll get worse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that may help is for the mother (favored parent) to be out of sight or &quot;away&quot; in some form that your daughter understands she's not available. &quot;Mommy is busy&quot; doesn't count for that, but &quot;Mommy's taking a shower&quot; or &quot;Mommy's out doing the grocery shopping&quot; may. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all, don't take it personally. There's absolutely nothing you did or can do about such a phase, it's just part of a child's development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-07-22T10:51:04.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26632" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26647" CreationDate="2016-07-22T14:12:59.547" Score="14" ViewCount="459" Body="&lt;p&gt;My situation is perhaps a bit unusual for a single parent: my wife passed away three years ago. My kids, six and eight, have clung to me since. When I approached the topic about six months ago, they specifically asked me not to date. Which was fine since we're for the most part happy and busy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this spring, I totally went into heat. It was bad. I may as well have been half my age. I'm in no hurry to seek companionship, but I'd like to start moving in that direction. My kids will be hurt and take it personally; I believe this to be unavoidable. But I hope it can be reasonably manageable somehow (unless I want to wait another ten years).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is: How can I explain to them the importance of adult companionship in an age-appropriate manner, reassuring them of their paramount importance to me but slowly accepting that daddy (sooner or later) will bring a partner into our home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-07-28T18:18:52.790" Title="How to discuss with my kids returning to dating" Tags="|dating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26633" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-22T18:53:43.490" Score="1" ViewCount="2643" Body="&lt;p&gt;she says,&quot; I want, I want , I want to drink water&quot;. Or &quot;I don't I don't I don't want to go&quot;. When she is angry or chatting to her dolls, she does not repeat herself. Apart from that she is fine and likes playing with other kids. This started a bout a year ago after she changed from an English speaking school to An Albanian speaking school. &#xA;She is going back to an English school in September.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23877" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T16:35:54.410" Title="How do i stop my 5yr old repeating herself and is she fine?" Tags="|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26632" CreationDate="2016-07-22T21:11:06.140" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think its not the matter of explaining them adult companionship, its ensuring them that you love them and will be always be there no matter what. It's ensuring them they have nothing to lose. Ensure them with words and actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the women you are dating behaves accordingly to this philosophy, good to you, your kids and herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, whatever you explain will only have temporary effect, until the next fight comes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also instruct your kids to tell you when they need time alone with you, instead of supressing their feelings about it until they explode. Just remember: its not about you, its all about them (at least in your kids head)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9589" LastEditorUserId="9589" LastEditDate="2016-07-23T00:31:21.840" LastActivityDate="2016-07-23T00:31:21.840" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26632" CreationDate="2016-07-22T23:49:55.980" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an idea for you Stu that you might actually work with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's my idea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start talking to your kids about how loneliness can arise in adults when they don't have adult companionship as well as the companionship of kids. I think they will completely understand how lonely you can be because of the passing of your wife. Once they've accepted that you are feeling very lonely in this regard, they will come around. I don't think it will take much time particularly if you describe the loneliness in terms they can understand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After they come around, you might even consider giving them a little bit of control in helping you find a woman. Don't cut them out of the process. You can have them look at photos of women or talk to women you might be interested in if you see available women at the grocery store or wherever. If you decide to approach it this way, let us know how it worked out. Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13680" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-07-23T10:28:13.983" LastActivityDate="2016-07-23T10:28:13.983" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26625" CreationDate="2016-07-22T23:58:51.977" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it possible something could have made her afraid of men? One time, long ago, a woman told me that her daughter was afraid of men as she explained why her daughter would hide behind her mom's leg and peak around at men in a very shy manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm just throwing that out there as a possibility because of what I know somebody else experienced. It may not be that at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13680" LastActivityDate="2016-07-22T23:58:51.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26514" CreationDate="2016-07-23T00:12:00.340" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't why she's behaving this way, but I tend to think it's readily solvable with the help of a child psychologist. I think a licensed professional would be able to get to the root of the problem and resolve it pretty quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13680" LastActivityDate="2016-07-23T00:12:00.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18192" CreationDate="2016-07-23T00:20:55.617" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally, based solely upon what you've said, I think the mother-in-law is the problem. Maybe you should &lt;strong&gt;very gingerly&lt;/strong&gt; find out how your husband feels about limiting her time with the child. She seems to have already caused disharmony in the household. That's COMPLETELY unethical on her part, in my opinion. If the mother-in-law is the cause, I think your husband has a mandate to go along with your idea. His allegiance is to you now, not his mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems your child's behavior was fantastic and lauded by others...until &lt;strong&gt;MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!!&lt;/strong&gt; What a shame.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13680" LastActivityDate="2016-07-23T00:20:55.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26639" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-23T05:42:34.990" Score="6" ViewCount="290" Body="&lt;p&gt;We never successfully got our child to fall asleep on their own. We would always have to be in the room. Now she's five and still needs us in the room. We need to either hold her hand or run her back. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can we do to have her fall asleep on her own? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've looked at other related posts such as:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/5451/1922&quot;&gt;Our 4 year old won&amp;#39;t fall asleep until 11pm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/q/6735/1922&quot;&gt;My 8 year old son won&amp;#39;t fall asleep&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not the same as those questions. My daughter requires someone to sit with them before falling asleep.  We can't leave the room.  We tried to do the timing thing with her.  Leave the room for 1 minute, then 2, then 3, etc. but she is really resistant to it. She won't calm down. I tried to ask her why she gets upset when we leave and she just says that she needs us to rub her back or hold her hand.  We have to do this every night so it is quite exhausting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T23:56:26.293" Title="5 year old. Still needs us to fall asleep" Tags="|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26640" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26651" CreationDate="2016-07-23T12:43:01.107" Score="3" ViewCount="4451" Body="&lt;p&gt;I went to buy my son's (9 months) WIC baby food jars today. Only some were WIC approved despite they were all the same stage (3), price (.97), and brand (Beechnut). The only difference between them were the flavors. For example, corn with squash is approved but not spinach with quinoa. Why are some of these flavors unapproved? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;WIC-The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children provides Federal grants to States for supplemental foods, health care referrals, and nutrition education for low-income pregnant, breastfeeding, and non-breastfeeding postpartum women, and to infants and children up to age five who are found to be at nutritional risk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23880" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2022-06-24T16:06:58.477" LastActivityDate="2022-06-24T16:06:58.477" Title="Why aren't all jars of baby food in the US WIC approved?" Tags="|infant|babyfood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26642" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10955" CreationDate="2016-07-24T00:04:51.387" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow, it's playing with fire to put children in the middle of these things like that. There are so many landmines in a breakup already without the added nonsense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents split up when I was young and I remember some of the doubts or fears that I had. When my ex and I broke up we did our utmost to protect them from any those fears.  Obviously, that is not happening in this situation. I don't know if I have any ideas you haven't already tried but I'll jot a few things down anyway as maybe it help unlock other ideas for you or others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, children find all kinds of ways to blame themselves for things. Did mommy and daddy break up because of me/us? They simply have to know that there was nothing they did or could have done that that would cause this. Who knows what they are hearing at home. They will certainly wonder if mommy and daddy still love them? If mom isn't treating them as treasured and at the same time is making the kids believe daddy doesn't love them -- they must be absolutely lost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children don't mind discipline (and by discipline I mean rules and structure). In fact, not knowing the boundaries or having inconsistent boundaries may cause confusion or stress. As noted by Evolve make it point to stress the change of rules when infractions happen upon a return. It takes a while to switch to a new set of rules -- but they can eventually do so with prompting as long as they know what to consistently expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid having the children be put in the middle -- as it appears the mom is doing. Help take them out of the middle when they are put there. Find a way to insulate them without having them report back anything that the mother will be able to develop a new grudge with. For example, don't criticize the mother's actions. You can talk about how good food is important, how germs and garbage can make them sick, how sleep is important for a developing young mind and never have to say anything about the mother. The children will connect the dots over time and realize things for themselves if things don't improve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also stress that as a parent your job is to help steward their future, and that is why you have the rules you do. This can also deflect ploys such as spoiling to win favor (doesn't not sound like an issue). Young ones will learn that being spoiled all the time makes it difficult to be happy -- as the world will stop doing that. Basically, their future, and your love for them and rules that result all join together as parental duties done due to your love for them and hopes for their future. More dots for them to put together over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This also gives them much more than just comforting words but a series of interlocking behaviors that they can think about when nonsense is happening elsewhere. If they don't know it they can probably make the decision to go to bed when they are tired instead of staying up until they are put to bed. I don't see it too often in my house but on a weekend when I give them a bit of extra time they sometimes just say they'd like to go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, they do need those comforting words. If they are being borderline neglected half the time their self-confidence is probably suffering. They need to know they are wonderful and important. They need to know you have confidence in their abilities. They need to know that even if you are upset, or tired, or they are misbehaving -- no matter what, how you feel about them never changes. You can be upset at a behavior but that is just a behavior and has nothing to do with your feelings for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going back to discipline, I've often found that children will learn better if I can make them reason out what I would otherwise simply tell them. For example, don't play with the garbage! If I haven't become exasperated I can ask if they understand how dirty garbage is. I can ask if they like being sick. I can connect the dots and ask if they think playing with garbage is a good idea. If they give the right answer I can ask why they are doing so then.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, something that has worked well for me, is sending my children to their rooms for a time out when they do something requiring immediate action. They are to go to their room, think about what they did, and come back when they are ready to apologize. Not common any more but if they are still in tears after the apology they get a hug and a reminder I'm mad at their behavior but always love them. Nowadays I get the &quot;I know&quot; before I can finish saying it. They know! ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, a lot of rambling but this question reminds me of self-doubt as a young child and worrying about potential impacts on my own children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17123" LastActivityDate="2016-07-24T00:04:51.387" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26644" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-24T02:39:16.333" Score="1" ViewCount="687" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6-month-old. In 2 weeks I'm moving to a new house. The only problem is, the new house has a septic tank and I can't seem to find diapers that say septic-safe. Does anyone know what brand that I can use?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23883" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-07-24T04:43:06.783" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T14:59:41.853" Title="What diapers are septic safe?" Tags="|diaper|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5596" CreationDate="2016-07-24T10:03:35.327" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Nothing after supper, toilet before bed. Have 3 kids and they were all potty trained at 1 1/2. Pull ups are not necessary. Teach your child; it pays off! Rewards are also a great way to potty train- a sticker chart worked for one of mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23885" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-07-24T19:25:10.620" LastActivityDate="2016-07-24T19:25:10.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26646" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26644" CreationDate="2016-07-24T23:04:11.397" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;There is no brand of diaper that is safe to flush down the toilet if you have a septic&lt;/strong&gt; You should not flush disposable diaper liners or wipes either, nor tampons, cotton swabs or cotton balls. Basically the only thing you should allow to enter a septic system is urine, feces, and toilet paper. Even food should not go into the system, which is why you won't find a garbage disposal in the kitchen sink of a home that has a septic. Cat litter is really bad too, and you shouldn't do 7 loads of laundry in one day either (it should be spread out over the week.) Think of it this way: if you wouldn't dump it in your backyard, you shouldn't flush it down the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you decide to flush things that don't belong in the septic, be prepared to &lt;em&gt;at least&lt;/em&gt; have it pumped more frequently than recommended, or, &lt;em&gt;at worst&lt;/em&gt; to pay for costly repair/replacement to components or the system itself due to failure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can find tons of resources online about what you can and can't flush into a septic, so I'm not going to include links. They are easy to find and numerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up in a house with a septic. The first one we had failed because we did all the wrong things, so, aside from online resources that will support my answer, I have personal experience with this as well.  It's a terrible terrible thing when the septic fails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One final note-DO flush poop from a diaper down the toilet. Poop belongs in the toilet, not the landfill. Diapers belong in the landfill, not the toilet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2016-07-24T23:04:11.397" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26632" CreationDate="2016-07-25T00:14:25.953" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow, your situation is a difficult one and I really sympathize. I've not been through that, but I've heard that the best approach is simply telling the truth and not being evasive - you need to be healthy yourself. Eventually your kids will leave you to seek companions for themselves, and they will need a healthy model to build their approach upon. Even if your kids are hurt, if they see you are honest and genuine, (and genuinely considering their feelings), then, even if saying whatever you have to say is less than perfect, it's better than seeming manipulative or evasive. (Not that you're doing that, but they may perceive it that way.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also keep in mind they are kids, so they really don't know what's best for them (or you) yet. But they'll have a keen sense for honesty and genuine emotion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could just start with something in the vein of, &quot;I really miss your Mom, but I need wife... I don't want one, no, I need one to be happy. I have a hole in my heart. You're both going to grow up and leave me for your own companions. I don't want left alone when you do. Tell me when you're okay with finding a new wife. I want to find her with you two.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure they'll freak, but you are the adult. If you guys fight about it, forgive each other and move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I guess whatever it is that is the most beneficial to all of you, which is clearly not being single for the sake of your children, is the best choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know if my wife passed, she'd want me to be happy and to live a good life. But yeah, it'd be really difficult. Best of luck to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22119" LastEditorUserId="22119" LastEditDate="2016-07-28T18:18:52.790" LastActivityDate="2016-07-28T18:18:52.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26547" CreationDate="2016-07-25T08:32:41.510" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my personal experience, and those of friends, sleep training is a must. My son (now 9 months) did not sleep through the night until he was 7 months, and even then it was only 8 hours. As for his naps, he would fight the crib all the time. He would only sleep if he was in my arms after a feeding, or was in his vibrating bear. In order to get him to sleep in his crib, we had to sleep train him. The process is as follows - 5 minutes of crying, then check on baby (but do not pick him up). 10 minutes of crying, then check on baby (but do not pick him up). Adding 5 minutes each time until he stops. But do not go longer than 45 minutes. If he's still crying at 45 minutes then he may not want to sleep. Babies also go through sleep regression. My son always has sleep regression (where he refuses to sleep) when he is about to grow. Through sleep regression, we were finally able to get him to sleep in his crib. It took about 3-5 days of torture, hearing him cry. But he now sleeps soundly.&#xA;We later learned that he also does not like to be cold, and he was very cold in his crib and his preference was to be warm and cozy. We moved his crib during sleep training and that helped as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A really helpful book we have is called &quot;The Baby Owner's Manual&quot; by Louis Borgenicht, M.D., and Joe Borgenicht. It's written in a technical, yet comical way, referring to the baby as a &quot;model&quot; that you need to &quot;trouble-shoot.&quot; It is very to-the-point and really helped us in times of need. It was definitely helpful during the sleep training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Below is a link to Baby Center and their advice on sleep training:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-the-basics_1505715.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-the-basics_1505715.bc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A link to sleep regression information:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/sleep-regressions/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/sleep-regressions/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23880" LastActivityDate="2016-07-25T08:32:41.510" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24771" CreationDate="2016-07-25T08:49:06.407" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In agreement with Rachel, a weight feed is a great idea. This is what helped doctors realize that my son was not getting enough breast milk at each feeding. Some babies do tire faster as breast feeding is a lot of work! And my little guy just couldn't do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also suggest that she pumps and prepares breast milk for the fridge for night time for dad to help feed as that is a great way to ease the stress off of mom and for her to get some well-deserved rest. We did this and it was extremely helpful. It made it easier for baby to feed, it gave me rest, and it helped dad and baby form a bond they otherwise wouldn't have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 6 months, our pediatrician told us that babies should be able to sleep mostly through the night. That their bodies are able to at that point. Because she breast feeds, it's such a comfort to them, the baby might just want mom at that point and not be hungry (since you said the baby was healthy). The mom may want to try sleep training for a week or so (we didn't do it for our son until he was 7 months because he was a 6 week preemie) and see if that helps the baby sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A great book my husband and I both enjoy is &quot;The Baby Owner's Manual&quot; by Dr. Louis Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht. It refers to the baby as a &quot;model&quot; which needs to be &quot;trouble-shooted&quot; and &quot;maintained.&quot; It's a great book because it's simple and to the point. It discusses how to correctly sleep train (if that's something she wants to try) and many other helpful parenting tips. It even has a weight and height scale which shows where baby should be at per age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son was a 6 week preemie so he falls short in his weight percentage almost every doctor visit, and he didn't sleep through the night until 7 months, so don't give up hope! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a link to Baby Center sleep training:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-the-basics_1505715.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-the-basics_1505715.bc&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23880" LastActivityDate="2016-07-25T08:49:06.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26651" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26640" CreationDate="2016-07-25T15:00:44.753" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/wic-food-packages-regulatory-requirements-wic-eligible-foods&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is an example of what states are allowed to approve for WIC eligibility. States have their own standards as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The following &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/wic-food-packages-regulatory-requirements-wic-eligible-foods&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;list&lt;/a&gt; provides the Federal requirements for WIC-eligible foods. USDA requirements for WIC-eligible foods can be found in 7 CFR Part 246.10. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The page discusses infant formula, exempt infant formula, milks, cheese, fruit and vegetable juices, shell eggs, &lt;strong&gt;canned/frozen fruits and vegetables,&lt;/strong&gt; whole wheat bread, canned fish, and peanut butter. &#xA;State agencies are required to authorize container sizes that provide the full maximum monthly allowance of foods without exceeding the maximum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Under &lt;em&gt;Infant Food Fruits &amp;amp; Vegetables&lt;/em&gt;, we see that fat content, sugar content, types and amount of additives, etc. determine eligibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/wic-food-packages-regulatory-requirements-wic-eligible-foods&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;INFANT FOOD FRUITS and VEGETABLES&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Types/Requirements of Infant Fruits and Vegetables&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Any variety of single ingredient commercial infant food fruit &lt;strong&gt;without added sugars, starches, or salt (e.g., sodium).&lt;/strong&gt; Texture may range from strained through diced. The fruit must be listed as the first ingredient.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Any variety of single ingredient commercial infant food vegetables &lt;strong&gt;without added sugars, starches, or salt (e.g., sodium).&lt;/strong&gt; Texture may range from strained through diced. The vegetable must be listed as the first ingredient.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Combinations of single ingredients (e.g., peas-carrots and apple-banana) are allowed.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Not Allowed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Mixtures with cereal or infant food desserts (e.g., peach cobbler).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;INFANT FOOD MEAT&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;INFANT FOOD MEAT&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Any variety of commercial infant food meat or poultry, as a single major ingredient, with added broth or gravy. Texture may range from pureed through diced.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Not Allowed&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;ul&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Added sugars or salt (e.g., sodium).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Infant food combinations (e.g., meat and vegetables) or dinners (e.g., spaghetti and meatballs).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Any variety of commercial infant food meat or poultry, as a single major ingredient, with added broth or gravy. Texture may range from pureed through diced.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the difference is in additives, etc, as outlined above.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can read more at the link provided or at your states WIC page.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-07-25T22:34:19.707" LastActivityDate="2016-07-25T22:34:19.707" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26653" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-25T20:24:37.550" Score="1" ViewCount="149" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is now grown out of the largest sized diaper and still can't communicate verbally.  I bought a child potty and encourage him to go potty but he cannot make a connection and so continues to go on his diaper. He is starting preschool soon and we're not making progress. What can I do? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23892" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T13:11:40.087" Title="How to potty train a reluctant 3 yr old who's language delayed" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26656" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26653" CreationDate="2016-07-26T02:24:39.760" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A child has the need to feel significance and belonging. Specifically attention and power. That need will be met positively or negatively; whichever is quick,  easy, and consistent. Eating, sleeping, and toileting are power points because YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the best advice I can give you is, stop trying. Make your interactions about connection first. The first thing I would tell you to do is spend at least 10 minutes per day, twice per day, with no distractions whatsoever, completely focused on him, doing what he wants to be doing with you. Be present and enjoy this time. Let him know how much you enjoyed it and tell him how much you are looking forward to spending more time like this with him. Don't mention PT. If he asks, tell him that you trust him to go to the potty when he is ready.   Putting more emphasis on this only will make it harder and a stronger power point. After about two weeks, then you can revisit this. Make it about 1 to 1 time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember always that a power point is something the child knows he can use to influence you, and obtain significance and belonging. Your power is in your ability to connect positively, through encouragement, and disconnect from inappropriate behavior respectfully and matter of factly. Anyway...two weeks at least. Then revisit.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23894" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T13:11:40.087" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T13:11:40.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26657" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-26T03:25:59.900" Score="9" ViewCount="1396" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year-old has selective mutism. She is very talkative at home, but when it comes to school she will not say a word. She went the whole school year without her teacher hearing her voice. When I go to her school with her she won't even talk to me. I feel bad because I can tell her anxiety is very high and when I try to encourage her to respond to someone it gets worse. She is very smart and is above where she needs to be in school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm so frustrated because I don't know how to help her. Her dad says he knows how to &quot;fix&quot; her and wants to switch schools so she can be around new people and make friends. I feel like that would be traumatizing to her, pulling her away from her familiarity. She knows the routine where she's at and everybody knows her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Any suggestions on what I can do to help my daughter?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23896" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-22T17:40:44.273" LastActivityDate="2021-10-06T17:47:54.347" Title="How to help my 8-year-old who has selective mutism and doesn't say a word at school?" Tags="|school|middle-childhood|anxiety|socialization|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26658" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-26T14:10:27.480" Score="15" ViewCount="113084" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My toddler refuses to go to sleep without my wife or myself sitting or lying next to his bed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Background&lt;/strong&gt; - My son is about 2.5 years old. His birthday is in October. He has been sleeping in a &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/yVSOu.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;toddler bed&lt;/a&gt; for about 3.5 months now. Prior this this past week, he's loved his bed, and loved to sleep in it. He goes to daycare during the day, and has a good nap that ranges anywhere from 1.5 to 2 hours in length. His bedtime routine has consistently been:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7:00pm - Bath time&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;7:30pm - Downstairs for Sesame Street and milk&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;8:00pm - 8:15pm: Walk upstairs for stories then tucking into bed&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After doing some research, and found that TV/blue light can hinder sleep, we've eliminated TV before bed. Instead, we've opted for quiet play in his playroom, puzzles, or reading books from 7:30pm until bed time. He has no toys in his room to play with, and we have a little juke box thing that plays the same lullaby that has been playing since he was born when he sleeps. He has blacked out shades, and there is little to no light in his room. His room is set to a comfortable temperature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What is happening&lt;/strong&gt; - When my wife lies him down in his bed, he asks, 'Lay with me' or 'Sit there' [pointing to the floor next to his toddler bed]. When trying to leave his room, he simply gets out of his bed, and cries for one of us to sit there. After reading some articles, we've succumbed to sitting there and when he falls asleep, and leave the room quietly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anywhere from 1:00am to 2:30am, he gets out of his bed, walks down the hallway, and asks for one of us. This past week, we've tried the same method where we sit in his room until he falls asleep, and then sneak out when he does so - slowly positioning ourselves closer to the door each time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two nights ago, after leaving his room, he would get out of bed anywhere from 5-15 min later. This would go on from about 2:30am until 5:15am every night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the morning, we ask him about his night, and every morning he says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I'm sad for you.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes me believe that he is having some sort of separation anxiety. I've read posts on here about trying to explain to them about big boy beds, but he just doesn't care. He repeats, &quot;I'm (or I was) sad for you.&quot;  Rationalizing with a 2.5 year old never really worked for us/him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What we've tried&lt;/strong&gt; - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sitting in his room while he falls asleep. Each night scooting closer and closer to the door. &lt;strong&gt;RESULT:&lt;/strong&gt; He wakes up sooner, sees that we are not there, and walks down the hall again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At the middle of the night wake up, sleep in his room. &lt;strong&gt;RESULT:&lt;/strong&gt; He sleeps through the rest of the night without getting out of bed because he sees us sleeping next to him on the floor. We've only done this one night, and I feel like we've failed. I do not want to co-sleep. I feel like this method will just put so much pressure between my wife and I. We share our bed and prefer to sleep together. I read somewhere that sleeping next to him could build back the trust that was lost with us sneaking out. So, temporarily, we will spend the next night or two going through this routine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keeping the door closed, and preventing him from getting out of his room. &lt;strong&gt;RESULT:&lt;/strong&gt; This went over horribly. I won't go into details, but this does not seem like a feasible option for us at this point.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So it seems like we have two issues:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Getting our toddler to fall asleep at bed time without one of us sitting next to his bed.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Preventing my toddler from getting out of his bed in the middle of the night asking for us, and keeping him in there for the remainder of the night.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any input would be greatly appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23898" LastEditorUserId="23898" LastEditDate="2016-07-26T17:37:04.597" LastActivityDate="2018-07-02T23:54:52.173" Title="Toddler requires Mom or Dad to stay in the room to fall asleep" Tags="|toddler|sleep|sleep-training|cosleeping|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26659" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26658" CreationDate="2016-07-26T17:58:53.967" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think the simple answer is:  &quot;&lt;strong&gt;This too shall pass.&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;  You need to stay with him until he's comfortable not having you with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He obviously has anxiety around sleeping by himself in his bed.  The best (only?) way to allay that anxiety is to have one of his parents there with him.  Much as it might not be ideal for you, I think the best thing for &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt; is to know that you're willing to be with him whenever he needs you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now he needs comfort and reassurance in a new situation, and needs to know that you will always be there for him when he needs you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you continue your current routine with a couple of small modifications:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When putting him to bed, let him know that you will stay with him until he falls asleep, and then you will go to your own bed (or go about your own business).  Reassure him that you will always be nearby, and that if he wakes up he can come and find you.  I would say that instead of trying to be further from him every night, stay as close as you can.  Hold his hand, stroke his head, or rub his back, to help him feel as safe and calm as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he wakes during the night, go and lie down with him until he falls asleep again (or just sleep next to him).  With my own kids (who have full-size beds) I just lie down with them in their bed and fall asleep.  When I wake up (sometimes a couple of hours later), I go back to my own bed.  In this situation, especially if his anxiety is heightened, physical contact can again be helpful, even if you just reach up and put your hand on his leg while you sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually (it could take a long time), he will become comfortable with his bed and his room, and won't always need you there in order to fall asleep.  It could take a while, but I think it's probably the best way to handle the situation, for your son's emotional well-being.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might still take some &quot;weaning&quot; to get him to sleep by himself, which it sounds like you've been trying.  But I wouldn't start the weaning process until he's much more comfortable with his room and his bed.  You should be able to tell when his anxiety levels are lower, and he wants you more out of habit or convenience than because of anxiety and security.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2016-07-26T17:58:53.967" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26658" CreationDate="2016-07-26T18:41:01.507" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;For issue number 1:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What works best for us is the 'I will be right back' method. &#xA;We do the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put them to bed and sing a song&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Tell them: I will sit here 5 min, then I will leave. Close your eyes and sleep. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;After 5 min get up and say: I will be right back, just close your eyes and sleep. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then come back after 30 sec to 1 min (the importance here is TRUST that the parents are not 'gone'). Sit down for 5 min&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they are still awake: I will be back in 2/3/5 min&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wait, and then go back, sit down and repeat. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, we increase the amount time between us coming back, and in the end you don't have to come back any more. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I works about 80% for us. Some days we have to sit until they sleep. Some days (few) we have to be back still, and some days we can just say 'I'm leaving in 5 min', and they will fall asleep on their own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for problem number 2, we have made the decision that the kids climbing into our bed is OK, so I can't help you there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids are 3 &amp;amp; 5. Our oldest had a very hard time sleeping when his brother was born (when he was 2-3). Our 3 year has a hard time too with no baby, so part of it is age related. Our 5 year falls asleep very easily (started at 4.5), and rarely asks us to stay. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also has some nights he sleep the whole night in his own bed (more recently). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9248" LastActivityDate="2016-07-26T18:41:01.507" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26661" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11422" CreationDate="2016-07-27T00:47:47.827" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, I'm 14 and I have to cook my own dinner every night and I'm fine, I've taught myself to be good at cooking, but not everyone is. I would say that you should teach children how to make simple things first, then move on to more complicated things. Eventually, they would be comfortable enough to cook on their own, but you should definitely watch them at first, and ideally as much as possible in case they make a mistake or forget to turn the oven off. I would say most kids shouldn't be totally trusted to do that until 16, but that's just my opinion. I've cooked meals for myself for two years now, but my parents don't cook for me and didn't teach me how so I read a lot and learnt to do it myself, (I'm fine with that, I like cooking) but I know that kids my age should still be getting dinners from their parents, I'm an anomaly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23903" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T00:47:47.827" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26633" CreationDate="2016-07-27T15:33:03.373" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is quite normal. My 5 year old does it. A little bit of searching shows &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.talkingkids.org/2011/03/preschool-stuttering.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;THIS&lt;/a&gt; article and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.everydayfamily.com/speech-development-why-do-toddlers-repeat-themselves/%20and&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;THIS&lt;/a&gt; article. The child will most likely work this out on their own. I noticed this happens a lot when my child is excited or wants to start saying something quickly so he can have his turn talking before someone else starts talking and he has to wait. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The articles go a bit more in to depth to get more rounded knowledge on the subject, but the meat of what to do is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;First, and foremost, resist the temptation to tell your child to stop&#xA;  and slow down or to think about what she is going to say. Many of us&#xA;  feel tempted to dole out this advice because this is what works for us&#xA;  when we start to get tangled in our thoughts while speaking.&#xA;  Stuttering, however, stems from a different type of difficulty than&#xA;  does our grown-up ability to organize our thoughts. Telling a child to&#xA;  stop and slow down often serves to increase stuttering rather than&#xA;  decrease it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Instead of interrupting your child or calling attention to the&#xA;  stutter, do the opposite: Give your child eye contact, give her plenty&#xA;  of time to finish her thought, and then simply respond to the content&#xA;  of what she said. I know it's hard to avoid the temptation to&#xA;  interrupt your child. No parent wants to watch their child struggle,&#xA;  and it's only human nature to want to help. But rest assured that by&#xA;  doing nothing--by letting your child finish in her own time--you are&#xA;  actually very much doing something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Then, when you go to respond to what your child is saying, pause a&#xA;  moment before you respond. Allow the pace of the conversation to slow&#xA;  a bit. When you respond, talk slowly and calmly, but naturally at the&#xA;  same time (a tricky feat, for sure. It took me many times in grad&#xA;  school to get it right!). Although many children do not respond to&#xA;  being directly told to &quot;stop&quot; and &quot;slow down,&quot; they do respond when&#xA;  this type of speaking is subtly demonstrated for them by an adult. No&#xA;  need to tell them what you are doing-- just slow down the pace of the&#xA;  conversation on your own and watch as your child follows your lead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastEditorUserId="22012" LastEditDate="2016-07-27T16:35:54.410" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T16:35:54.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26665" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26658" CreationDate="2016-07-27T15:46:32.613" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had this issue (still sometimes do) with my littlest son. What worked for us was a little stuffed animal that he picked out. The stuffy substituted for Mom and Dad when he woke up at night. We still sat in his room for a bit until he fell asleep, but we gave him instructions to talk it over with his stuffy before coming to get us at night. We also used asked him what he thought he might do to comfort his stuffy if his stuffy woke up at night. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This worked well when he was 3-4ish, but your son is probably still a bit too young to really verbalize his anxieties. Still having a stuffed animal or special blanket or other type of charm to substitute for comfort might help him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1969" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T15:46:32.613" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26666" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-27T17:24:30.643" Score="2" ViewCount="228" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 11 year old daughter, and her dad and I have been divorced since she was 5. I met a man when she was 7 and him and I eventually moved in together.  We have had a son who is now 1.5 years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has been very standoffish towards my son since he was born.  I tried to prep her before he was born and she was very excited for him to be here.  I even made it a point that she would be the first to hold him in the hospital when he was born (after my husband and I).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter has always been standoffish towards him and it is driving me crazy.  I have asked her about it and she tells me he doesn't do anything.  She said once he starts sitting up she would play with him. He started doing that and she still wanted nothing to do with him so I asked again and she said once he starts walking then I can play with him, and so on and so on.  I feel like she just keeps making excuses of reasons she doesn't like him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He LOVES to follow her around and is dying to play with her, but she just shrivels up her nose and won't even hardly look at him.  It breaks my heart when he follows her around wanting to play and she goes into a room and shuts the door in his face, and he cries because he just wants to be with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have grounded her, taken away privilages, etc. but I am just at a loss on how to fix this at this point.  Anyone have any great ideas on how I can get her to develop a relationship with him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23910" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2016-07-30T16:22:03.293" LastActivityDate="2016-07-30T16:22:03.293" Title="How can I get my children to develop a half sibling relationship" Tags="|siblings|divorce|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26658" CreationDate="2016-07-27T18:16:36.390" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We went through this with our 2-year-old kid. I took baby steps toward our goal. For example, night 1 I was sitting in a chair beside his bed until he fell asleep, night 5 I was halfway to the door and his bed, night 10 I was sitting in a chair outside the door until he fell asleep. Soon I was able to leave the room at nights with him awake after just 5 minutes of back tickling to make him drowsy and he was good. We gave him a tag blanket for comfort.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the waking up at night, I let my kid cry for 5 minutes, then I would tuck them back into bed and leave, next time he got up, I would wait 10 minutes, etc.  I did this until the max of 20 minutes of crying out and stayed at 20 minutes each time until he finally stayed in bed. Be aware he won't let you tuck him back in bed the first few nights right away but after about 20 minutes he should. We installed a baby gate at his doorway so that way he couldn't run out of his room but could still yell for us - I definitely didn't want to shut his door and make him feel more separated. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really trial and error - you'll have to find what works best for you child's personality. Just try to be as consistent as you can. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23911" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T12:28:29.653" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T12:28:29.653" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26658" CreationDate="2016-07-27T18:37:34.687" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had the same situation with my son once he hit the &quot;2 yrs old&quot; age (3 months ago). Before that he was Ok with sleeping in his bed with nobody beside him. Now, he always wants me to sit next to him. &#xA;I did some research (and I'm not an expert), and found out that around this age, their emotions get more mature and complicated. Also, they can be afraid from dark, noise , etc. They need support and assurance. We've decided to provide comforting and take it easy with him. At bedtime, I ask him if he prefers to sleep in my arms or in his bed (and that wasn't an option before). Generally speaking, he's been calmer and more emotionally stable. I still sit next to him but I'm expecting him to accept me leaving at some point soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, I'm not an expert, I'm a mom going through a similar situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23913" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T18:37:34.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26669" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26681" CreationDate="2016-07-27T18:46:35.863" Score="2" ViewCount="247" Body="&lt;p&gt;My little boy can't control his hyper-activeness or emotions. He's in nursery/preschool and he's fine there, but when he gets home he's bouncing off the walls. There's no telling him wrong from right, and when I put him on time out he thinks it's part of a game and that saying sorry gets him out of trouble or relieves him from being told off. Me or his mum never like telling him off but at the moment its constant. I'm looking for alternate discipline other than time out and telling him off? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23914" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T12:13:30.843" Title="How to control my 3 year old son" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26670" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26666" CreationDate="2016-07-27T18:46:40.173" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please put yourself in your daughter's position for a moment:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are 11. You are starting to discuss &amp;quot;cool&amp;quot; things with your girlfriends and can't wait to be a bit older. And with a bit of luck, puberty is already messing wth your brain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your brother, on the other hand, is not yet two. He just walks around, babbles, dribbles, has sticky fingers and even if he is your greatest fan (how uncool....), he doesn't respect your posessions and boundaries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Plainly put, those two live in two different universes right now. Your daughter is solving math equations and reading books, is participating in sports or other activities, the greatest achievement of your son (from her perspective) is probably stacking two Lego Duplo bricks together. Whenever your children are supposed to play together, it means she has to go down on his level - physically and mentally. (And sorry, a 1.5 yo. isn't even a good doll substitute.) That's funny only in really small doses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So from your perspective as a parent, you have less a pair of siblings, more two &amp;quot;only child&amp;quot;s.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does this mean she dislikes him or that we have a half-sibling issue at hand? Not at all. They will develop a relationship (in fact, they have already), but it will be quite some time until they communicate on the same level and enjoy each other's company. They might be at different stages most of their life (she might have started a family by the time he starts college, for example), but trust them to find a way to communicate. There is nothing to &amp;quot;fix&amp;quot; for you as parents apart from the usual &amp;quot;sibling diplomacy&amp;quot; if they quarrel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't force love, but you can foster it - by giving both what they need individually. Do not punish her for not playing with him, this will only make her resent her baby brother. If you need her as babysitter, communicate clearly, and treat it like you would any other household chore, including the consequences for non-compliance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T18:46:40.173" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26671" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-27T19:15:57.017" Score="1" ViewCount="548" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a 20-year-old mom of an almost 4-year-old and a 9-month-old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My oldest has gotten out of control. He won't listen to anything we tell him. We have tried spanking him, time outs, taking &lt;strong&gt;all&lt;/strong&gt; his toys away - everything you can think of. Still, he won't listen; he always answers back, giving attitude, kicking, and punching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we put him in his room, he will get out 100 times, even if we spank him. If we take all his toys, he plays with his clothes, taking them out of place and throwing them everywhere. He screams for no reason. It's like no punishment helps. He doesn't care about anything that we do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It just keeps getting worse and worse and my husband and I have no idea about what to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23915" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-18T14:30:32.523" LastActivityDate="2018-05-18T14:30:32.523" Title="How to deal with our almost 4-year-old who is out of control and no punishments worked so far?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26669" CreationDate="2016-07-27T19:55:24.170" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kids went through this also. Right now I'm going through this with our 3-year-old. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe try lots of positive reinforcement for good behavior  - whenever he is doing something good, we acknowledge it - for example &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Jason, you're doing so well sitting there eating your food! You're such a big boy! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also try ignoring the bad behavior and supposedly he'll eventually stop once he notices it doesn't get your attention, but this never worked for us. Making sure the adults set good examples by not reacting badly to situations helps, I think. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But here is how time outs work for us - we keep all his toys in boxes so when it's time out, he goes to his room and stays - all toys removed. We also have installed a baby gate at his door he can't open. After he realizes we are not playing around, he screams and cries but we don't start the time out until he settles down and sits on his bed. I will give him a reminder every 5 minutes that he doesn't start his time until he sits down and stops screaming. We do 2-3 minutes time outs &lt;strong&gt;once&lt;/strong&gt; he sits down. Afterwards, we talk about why he was in time out. &lt;strong&gt;Consistency&lt;/strong&gt; is so much key for us because if we let him slide once, he uses that to his advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23911" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T12:13:30.843" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T12:13:30.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8394" CreationDate="2016-07-27T20:00:33.937" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Okay what I do for my daught (almost 3) when the boogers are huge and dry I'll typically wrap the end of a Bobby pin with toilet paper and then CAREFULLY pick her nose. I am sure not to go too deep or to hurt or damage any tissue but it is a great quick fix. After I've loosens the &quot;gold&quot; I'll have her blow. Works every time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23916" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T20:00:33.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26674" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26581" CreationDate="2016-07-27T20:09:27.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a common passion for toddlers at this age. My 3 year old is the same way. I think its too early to tell if this will be he passion since he'll probably become obsessed with something else in a few years. We'll go to the library and pick out stories about construction vehicles. His night night stories are about actual vehicles and learning all about the different types. On Netflix, there is a program called &quot;Mighty Machines&quot; that teaches kids about the different types of machinery. They have &quot;touch a truck&quot; events were I live and kids get to sit in real vehicles and explore about them. Its a fun thing that bonds us together and he enjoys it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23911" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T20:09:27.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16451" CreationDate="2016-07-27T20:15:31.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dora the Explorer has a girl being center-stage and assertive rather than deferring to the boys. And she bilingual. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23911" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T20:15:31.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5596" CreationDate="2016-07-27T20:20:32.187" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Put her into overnight diapers (or just regular diapers) at nighttime instead of pull-ups. Make sure the size is not too small or it wont help. If you want to continue with pull-ups instead at nighttime, take her to the bathroom once during the middle of the night.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23911" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T20:20:32.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26644" CreationDate="2016-07-27T20:24:17.907" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are septic safe flushable diaper liners but never heard of flushable diapers. Either way though, I would recommend not flushing anything other than the normal items (a friend had clogged her toilet with the flushable diaper liners - HUGE mess)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23911" LastActivityDate="2016-07-27T20:24:17.907" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6944" CreationDate="2016-07-28T02:00:33.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a grandmother to three granddaughters.  My first two did the exact same thing. They would sleep for 30 minutes then wake up.  I would pick them up and hold them and get them to go back to sleep.  Sometimes I would just turn something good on TV and hold her for a good hour or so.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't bad if I had just one at a time. I worried about spoiling them but I kept reading that you can't spoil babies under six months old.  Well, with my first two I held them a lot and then when they hit five months, I gradually weaned them to the Pack N Play.  With the second one, I would lie her in a baby boppy pillow and stroke her and whisper while she sucked on her pacifier and she would fall asleep and I would then leave the room.  I always had the monitor on, checking on them.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of my first two wound up being pretty good nappers.  They would each take two naps, about an hour and a half to two hours at a time till they were nearly a year and a half. My older granddaughter would sometimes take a third 30-minute nap, too, in the car on the way home when my son picked her up.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today my oldest is nearly 4 and just recently started dropping naps although she will occasionally take one. My second granddaughter who is 21 months old will take a good two hour nap during the day and also sleep great at night with no fussing.  Now we are working on the newest one who is just three months old. She is doing the same thing, taking very short naps, although if I am watching all three, it is hard to hold her a lot.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So in the long run, the holding did not spoil them.  Maybe I was just lucky. I agree that when they are very little, their sleep cycles or nervous system is not quite mature and they will wake a lot.  Just hang in there.  For me, it did get easier and the first two are great sleepers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23921" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-08-02T12:18:42.380" LastActivityDate="2016-08-02T12:18:42.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26669" CreationDate="2016-07-28T02:33:52.160" Score="4" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take 20 uninterrupted, totally involved completely focused undistracted,  minutes doing activities your child completely loves to do.  Do this daily.  Be present, so don't have food cooking,  or laundry on,  it's about him and you connecting.  Follow his lead,  have fun,  let go. Do this every single day.  Let him know how much you enjoyed it , how you can't wait to have one to one time everyday.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instead of yelling,  use a calm voice when speaking with him. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Stop the show.  With no audience,  there's really no point of having a show.  You may want to child proof before doing this,  but when he gets out of control you want to disconnect.  You want to be neutral and matter of fact about it. Be quick about it and non reactive .  Tell him you will be going to your time out spot and that he can come find you as soon as he is less excited.   Nothing more. And leave. Now wait.   When he comes,  tell him you need a hug.   Hug it out.   &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell him that you're changing time out to make it a quiet place he can go to alone or with you when he feels really excited or angry.  You can remind him of this when he needs it.   He can go with you or alone.  You will say something like I see you're really excited,  do you want to take a break in your quiet spot or do you want mommy to come too.   The spot can have books,  music,  favorite game or toy,  no electronic devices like tablets or tv though.   It can be decorated any way he wants.   A huge box  is  a good  thing to use.   Make a little house of it.   Or use a sheet to build a tent.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Discuss with him what other things can HE CAN do when he feels this way... like take a walk,  build Legos,  paint/color,  stomp on his pillows,  big self hug,  take a deep breath,  count to ten,  go to his quiet spot,  read a book with Parent,  use flashlight in the dark (not really dark not to scare him).   Just some suggestions.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Stop yelling,  reprimanding,  and &#xA;time- outing.  It is feeding into his needs for attention and power negatively.   That all can be replaced with the Positive version as described above.  Would like to follow up with you so let me know how things go.  Best to you. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastEditorUserId="23895" LastEditDate="2016-07-28T03:11:24.040" LastActivityDate="2016-07-28T03:11:24.040" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26671" CreationDate="2016-07-28T03:27:36.347" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take 20 uninterrupted, totally involved completely focused undistracted, minutes doing activities your child completely loves to do. Do this daily. Be present, so don't have food cooking, or laundry on, it's about him and you connecting. Follow his lead, have fun, let go. Do this every single day. Let him know how much you enjoyed it , how you can't wait to have one to one time everyday.&#xA;Instead of yelling, use a calm voice when speaking with him.&#xA;Stop the show. With no audience, there's really no point of having a show. You may want to child proof before doing this, but when he gets out of control you want to disconnect. You want to be neutral and matter of fact about it. Be quick about it and non reactive . Tell him you will be going to your time out spot and that he can come find you as soon as he is less excited. Nothing more. And leave. Now wait. When he comes, tell him you need a hug. Hug it out.&#xA;Tell him that you're changing time out to make it a quiet place he can go to alone or with you when he feels really excited or angry. You can remind him of this when he needs it. He can go with you or alone. You will say something like I see you're really excited, do you want to take a break in your quiet spot or do you want mommy to come too. The spot can have books, music, favorite game or toy, no electronic devices like tablets or tv though. It can be decorated any way he wants. A huge box is a good thing to use. Make a little house of it. Or use a sheet to build a tent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discuss with him what other things can HE CAN do when he feels this way... like take a walk, build Legos, paint/color, stomp on his pillows, big self hug, take a deep breath, count to ten, go to his quiet spot, read a book with Parent, use flashlight in the dark (not really dark not to scare him). Just some suggestions.&#xA;Stop yelling, reprimanding, and time- outing. It is feeding into his needs for attention and power negatively. That all can be replaced with the Positive version as described above. Would like to follow up with you so let me know how things go. Best to you.&#xA;Just submitted this for another family.  All punishments must stop.  He's trying to tell you to give him choices,  to notice him,  to involve him usefully.   He's also trying to tell you that &quot;you can't make him do what you want&quot; Don't get into conflict, don't give in,  just follow the steps above.   But, for sure, the dynamic needs to change.   Spend less time ordering,  commanding,  and more time being curious.   Use a question instead of command. Don't back talk,  you're modeling it.  Take ego out of the mix... He isn't competing with you,  he's communicating to you with a positive intention to feel significant and to feel belonging.  A big part of that is self power.   He wants choices... Let him choose between two things.   Instead of put your shoes on, ask him are you gonna wear your sneakers or your crocks before going outside?  Let me know how you do,  and we can move to more steps.   Best to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-07-28T03:27:36.347" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26657" CreationDate="2016-07-28T12:06:06.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder. It affects about 1 in 150 children. Anxiety disorders are very treatable. Treatment is provided by specialist clinicians (speech and language therapists) although most children with selective mutism will work through it with support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pulling your child out of one school probably won't help. Treatment would instead focus on making the child comfortable with speaking in front of a single person at the school, and building up from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Early intervention is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's some information: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/selective-mutism/Pages/Introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/selective-mutism/Pages/Introduction.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-07-28T12:06:06.190" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12030" CreationDate="2016-07-28T14:43:35.387" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did puree weaning with my daughter but my second child, my son, his dad was adamant it will only be blw!! It puts the fear of God into me tbh. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm doing it as well as the lumpy/chunky puree food about 50/50 I'd say. He is as good as gold. So maybe I'm lucky he doesn't choke (not wanting to speak too soon!) he did choke on a strawberry a while back. He turned purple couldn't breathe etc but I made sure I'd read up on my baby first aid beforehand and no problems the strawberry came up. It shook me a lot, hence why I do 50/50 blw/slw. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's 7 months old and eats what we eat with us most of the time and I tend to just give him porridge etc puree food to bulk out his diet as (be warned it's messy!) He drops quite a bit feeding himself as he shovels food in so fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tend to slightly blanch the harder veggies and cut all foods into strips about the size of my baby finger. So far so good. I stay away from anything (obviously) dangerous or too hard. Just be careful if you want to try it. Obviously never leave your baby unattended while eating. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try them with softer foods and nothin too fleshy i.e tomato etc. Babies really do cope well instinctively with gagging but at the end of the day your little one is precious so if you're not comfortable doing it simply don't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23927" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-08-02T12:27:53.370" LastActivityDate="2016-08-02T12:27:53.370" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26671" CreationDate="2016-07-28T20:12:33.510" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should talk to his pediatrician. Some kids have underlying illnesses that can cause behavior like this. If a child isn't feeling well, it won't be easy for him to be happy and playful and obedient. I've heard of children with different kinds of illnesses ranging from allergies to reflux to celiac to ear infections that caused really difficult behavior. It's always a good idea to rule out a physical problem before addressing it with behavior modification.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-07-28T20:12:33.510" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26687" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26739" CreationDate="2016-07-28T20:18:29.417" Score="4" ViewCount="2189" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/lRL4c.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/lRL4c.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;My 2.5 year old is in a forward-facing Maxi Cosi Pria 85 carseat. The problem is, if he falls asleep while we're driving somewhere, his head falls back. Every site that mentions bad sleeping positions in the carseat fails to mention what to do for heads that fall BACK. Even if I stop and reposition him, his head goes right back to where it was. His face is parallel to the roof of the car. I've also tried keeping it to the most reclined position for forward-facing but that does not help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would like to know if this is safe and if not, what can be done about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I added a picture to show what I'm talking about. I tried adjusting the back part so each picture shows it in a different position. It happens in both positions. The strap is tight and the chest clip is in proper position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastEditorUserId="21906" LastEditDate="2016-08-09T20:07:24.890" LastActivityDate="2019-04-30T23:24:00.970" Title="Toddler's head falling back in car seat" Tags="|toddler|sleep|travel|car-seat|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26688" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26691" CreationDate="2016-07-28T22:32:14.307" Score="4" ViewCount="7378" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a leader in a youth movement, and since this is my first year, I still have a lot to learn. &#xA;Next week, we're going on a summer camp, on this summer camp I was planning to make a little trip in the town that we stay in. Now we will probably start at around 10am and we have to be back at noon, so we have 2 hours to explore the area and play some games at different locations. The games I made (6) each take about 10-15 minutes. Wich means we only have about 30 minutes to get to all the different locations. &#xA;How long should i make this trip? (I mean, based on the average km/h a group of 6 year olds)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Greetings,&#xA;Potvis&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: I'm sorry for my english, I'm from Belgium and my English isn't that good :/  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23930" LastActivityDate="2016-07-29T08:59:48.170" Title="What would the average walking speed of a group 6 year olds?" Tags="|walking|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26687" CreationDate="2016-07-28T22:51:58.270" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know if it could be of any help, but have you tried something like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.koopjeskrant.be/zoeker/kidscorner/1018349/neksteun-voor-in-de-auto/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SIdFlm.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/SIdFlm.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Dutch it's called a 'Neksteun', I don't know the English word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23930" LastEditorUserId="23930" LastEditDate="2018-10-08T13:55:23.663" LastActivityDate="2018-10-08T13:55:23.663" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26690" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-29T04:16:12.903" Score="1" ViewCount="381" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mother just had a baby girl yesterday and I have always been the youngest so I have never held a baby before until yesterday. When I held her for the first time yesterday my immediate instinct was to start bouncing her softly/ bobbing her up and down. I started talking with my mom and wanted to know why it is the human beings instinct when holding a baby?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23932" LastActivityDate="2016-07-29T11:43:19.313" Title="How come when we pick up a baby or first reaction is to rock them, even if you have never ever held a baby before?" Tags="|behavior|adult-child|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26688" CreationDate="2016-07-29T08:59:48.170" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to lead groups of kids for a living - at outdoor schools and day camps. Now I also live in Belgium (coincidentally) and am a long-distance hiker, so I hope my ideas will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The walking speed will vary based on a lot of factors, the biggest factor being to total amount of time walking you expect due to fatigue and boredom.  Another factor to consider is trail quality and weather. I'm guessing from your username that you'll be walking in Flanders rather than the Ardennes, so that will make the walking times easier to calculate since the trails are flatter and more gentle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you keep each walk short (as you say, 30 minutes) then the group can walk at about 3.5 to 4 km / hour on flat ground; 3 km/hr if there are hills. So the distance for each 30 min walk could be 1.5 - 2 km or a little less. Maybe make the first ones closer to 2 km, and the later ones (when the kids are more tired) to 1 km each.  I recommend singing songs or playing trail games to distract the kids who get bored easily, and trail snacks are a good idea. Set the expectations up front so that kids know what to expect. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I led a group of 6-year-olds on &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/maps/dir/World+Forestry+Center,+SW+Canyon+Rd,+Portland,+OR/Rose+Garden+Children&amp;#39;s+Park,+SW+Kingston+Ave,+Portland,+OR+97205/@45.5146011,-122.716248,16.01z/am=t/data=!4m14!4m13!1m5!1m1!1s0x54950a2bd9e63183:0x5d5525bdd14e87b9!2m2!1d-122.718269!2d45.510826!1m5!1m1!1s0x54950a20c4d845a1:0xa694cc25fd695a4b!2m2!1d-122.7054077!2d45.5165719!3e2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this walk&lt;/a&gt; on a weekly basis for a summer, and we called it the &quot;death march&quot; because there were hills and some kids in the back would be very unhappy about it. You can see it's 2.25 km long, so at 4 km/ hour it took us about 30 min - 45 min to walk the whole thing.  The hills on this path were higher than those in Flanders, lower than the Ardennes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13586" LastActivityDate="2016-07-29T08:59:48.170" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26690" CreationDate="2016-07-29T11:43:19.313" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It isn't instinctive. Many new parents have difficulty learning how to rock and hold babies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally, though, most people learn it through behaviours through their childhood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An odd quirk, though, is that babies often like to be rocked faster than the person holding them would expect - we first encountered this when we became parents: our kids liked being rocked nearly twice as fast as I would have thought comfortable, but after asking people and searching online this seems the norm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-07-29T11:43:19.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26693" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26694" CreationDate="2016-07-29T14:07:16.043" Score="28" ViewCount="32044" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 11-month-old son. Sometimes, particularly when he's very sleepy, he will fight to get out of the arms of whoever is holding him but the moment he is put down he starts screaming and crying. Is this something that many babies do? If so, does it mean something in particular? What can I do to make him happy when he seems explicitly opposed to both being held and being put down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19329" LastActivityDate="2016-08-01T04:11:17.277" Title="Baby fights to get out of arms, cries when I put him down" Tags="|infant|crying|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26693" CreationDate="2016-07-29T15:54:36.240" Score="45" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies are not good at figuring out what is bothering them -- simply that &lt;em&gt;something&lt;/em&gt; is. Being tired, in particular, leads to a general crankiness that is difficult to alleviate. Since your son doesn't really understand that simply falling asleep will help him feel better if he's tired, he starts &quot;complaining&quot; in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I am unhappy. It must be the way I'm being held. {struggle}&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But once he does get away, he's still dealing with that previous discomfort and now he's lost a source of comfort. So he'll cry more:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Wait, this is worse. I am even more unhappy! Hold me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Repeat that cycle until the parent is also exhausted and cranky.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; try shifting positions, rocking/bouncing, having a different adult hold him for a while, let him lie down while you rub his back or stomach (so you're still present and soothing)... but those may or may not be effective. Unfortunately, nothing beyond falling asleep for a while will ultimately make him happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;And see this related question as well: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/23423/why-do-babies-fight-sleep-and-how-to-calm-them-down&quot;&gt;Why do babies fight sleep and how to calm them down?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-07-29T22:58:19.420" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26695" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26693" CreationDate="2016-07-29T16:11:01.533" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yup, it's normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Basically, he feels rubbish because he's tired. So he's struggling and crying because he doesn't know how to stop feeling rubbish, and is trying to find a non-rubbish position. But he likes being held, so when you put him down, that's &lt;em&gt;worse&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't help that for small children, sleep is basically terrifying. One second you're being cuddled by Dad feeling a bit rubbish and the next, everything's changed and you're in your cot, which is nice and all, but it's not cuddles, and is thus inherently inferior to cuddles. So he's struggling not to be in the sleep position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing to double check is that they don't have trapped gas, especially if they've just had a feed. One massive belch and suddenly the crying just &lt;em&gt;stops&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, just get them to sleep (&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/sleep&quot;&gt;one of our most &lt;em&gt;popular&lt;/em&gt; tags&lt;/a&gt;). I've found singing and swaying to be the most effective solution, but it all boils down to giving them a routine that they identify with &quot;and then suddenly &lt;em&gt;everything&lt;/em&gt; blinked and I felt better&quot;, so they fall asleep happily. Hardening your heart to the point where their tiny tears have no effect doesn't hurt either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-07-29T16:11:01.533" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26696" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-29T17:28:44.527" Score="3" ViewCount="9138" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son just turned 5 this July. He has behavior problems I have had him enrolled in about 3 different schools( Not this year - in about a 3 year time frame).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have gotten a call from school twice this week asking me to get my son from school because his behavior is uncalled for yelling, kicking the desks spitting in the teachers faces,etc.. He recently saw a behavioral therapist and I don't think that helped much. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a hard time sitting down and focusing on one subject for example Having him do a homework project which is just writing his name he doesn't seem to want to focus on this).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;His teacher has told me that if there doing a group activity he does not want to participate but if its one on one with the teacher he does a fantastic job and is eager to learn.. I'm worried because school will start in about 2 weeks and I am nervous on how he will respond to the change.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is very smart and bright always on the go always wants to be outside doing something, he is very caring and loving.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His father and I are not together I feel like I am the only parent that provides discipline for my child, when he goes to his fathers house which is every other weekend he comes back with an attitude doesn't want to listen I feel that when he goes to his fathers he thinks its like Disney because he does what ever he wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried spanking but this does not seem to work as he tells me this doesn't hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I try and talk to him he shuts down doesn't want to talk or if he doesn't I'll threaten him saying he's going to bed when he gets home or not going to your fathers house this weekend (bc that's what he looks forward too) he will then say I am not talking to you anymore I am not talking to anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've had him tell me I am mean. &#xA;I need some help with what I can do to change my behavior and also suggestions to help him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23938" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-03-09T08:06:26.160" LastActivityDate="2017-03-09T13:10:42.997" Title="My 5 year old is disrespectful &amp; bad at school" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26693" CreationDate="2016-07-29T17:47:17.610" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mine was a great baby and would only fuss when tired, hungry, uncomfortable (clothes, cold etc) or sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless there are health issues at play, just offer a bottle etc. and try to take a nap or go to bedtime.  With mine, I would just lie her down and drape my arm over her so she wouldn't squirm.  Along with blanket, etc.  It took a few minutes usually to stop crying and then not long after that she would be asleep.  Sometimes worse than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7736" LastActivityDate="2016-07-29T17:47:17.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26698" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-29T19:47:12.460" Score="8" ViewCount="23022" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 17 year old son has been dating his girlfriend for a few months now, they were also friends for about a year or so prior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My issue is that she comes over to our house at least 3 days a week, but never says &quot;hello&quot; to myself or my husband. They walk into the house, then head right to the basement and remain down there for the entire time she is over. Both my husband and I have told him that we feel that it is very rude and disrespectful that she can't say &quot;Hi&quot; to us when she comes over. I don't expect her to come find me in our house, but if I am sitting in the living room or in her view when she walks in the door, I would expect a &quot;Hello&quot; would be common courtesy. &#xA;I know as a teenager or even as an adult I would have never walked into a friends/boyfriends house with out introducing myself to their parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried to make an effort to include her in functions, but they make no effort to interact with us, not even to join us for dinner. My son tells me that we are &quot;old&quot; (I'm in my mid thirties) and that &quot;times have changed, and no-one does that anymore&quot;. My husband has tried talking to her about school and her plans after she graduates, which my son told me she felt uncomfortable and that we were grilling her - we were simply trying to make converstation with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I honestly feel like telling him that if this continues that she is no longer welcomed over. Are we crazy? have times really changed?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23941" LastActivityDate="2021-03-01T05:25:39.980" Title="Son's girlfriend does not say &quot;hello&quot; when she comes to our house. Is this disrespectful?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26699" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-07-29T20:11:40.590" Score="2" ViewCount="4550" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old daughter just won't listen anymore. If you ask her something, she'll say No. She's been hitting, eye rolling and all. I have taken toys away to the point where she has only a bed and put her in her room to bed and still nothing is working. I don't know what to do anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23942" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-07T17:07:15.500" LastActivityDate="2022-10-29T20:40:17.920" Title="My 5-year-old daughter is out of control. What can I do?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26693" CreationDate="2016-07-29T20:38:53.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try holding him face down, resting on one of your arms. His legs would be on either side of your elbow, with your forearm and hand supporting his stomach, chest, and (depending on his size), possibly his head. Of course, make sure he is being held securely, perhaps with his side against your stomach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23943" LastActivityDate="2016-07-29T20:38:53.507" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26701" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26698" CreationDate="2016-07-29T20:59:44.437" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;She may be shy. I am quite shy and don't always say hi to everyone I see when I walk into someone else's house. It's not that I don't like the family, I simply don't care for people in general and talking to them freaks me out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, based on the rest of what you wrote, it sounds like she is being straight rude. I think it would be wise of you to have a chat with her family. Invite her whole family (or her guardian) to your house for dinner, if you are not able to do that - for example, you do not have their contact information. Sit both your son and his girlfriend down and lay down the law. If she is not willing to join in your family's life, then you would prefer she was not in your son's. It will be an unpleasant conversation, and I do hope you try to be as kind and gentle as possible. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand that it is touchy because, as I said earlier, teens aren't as sociable as they used to be. At the same time; however, the statement that &quot;nobody does that any more&quot; is VERY wrong! My family has met and had dinner with both of my boyfriends, and that is considered a vital part of a relationship with us. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think that your son could be considering eventually marrying her, it is vital that she learns to be at least pleasant and peaceful with your family. It is also important that you meet with her family; because, like it or not one family marries another. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to answer the question, disrespectful? Yes. Concerning? Maybe. Common? yes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2019-02-06T18:00:00.147" LastActivityDate="2019-02-06T18:00:00.147" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26693" CreationDate="2016-07-30T06:21:34.727" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some babies easily become over-tired and need to be distracted or comforted in certain ways in order to fall asleep. Learning about the baby's schedule and optimal times to drive a routine around are important to do but sometimes you miss the best time to get them ready for bed or a nap and you have an overtired kid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two types of comforting that helped my kids when they were tired and cranky were being swaddled and being bounced gently (or stimulated through movement in some other way). These things are particularly good strategies for younger babies but hey, if you need it and it works go for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my favorite methods, particularly late at night, was to sit on one of those large exercise balls with a pillow on my lap (a nursing pillow works great) and lay the baby down and gently bounce up and down until they fall asleep. This was much easier to do for longer periods than walk around the house holding the baby. Also, I got numerous seasons of TV shows watched this way so it fairly easy for me to do. Once asleep I would move the baby to a crib or a nearby couch and sit next to them. Once deeply asleep they were easier to move to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on the size of your baby this might be a tad harder at 11 months but could be worth a shot. Of course other kinds of rhythmic motion can work to like rocking chairs etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your baby was breast fed or held in a breast feeding position when bottle fed the position of being on your lap turned in towards you can add just that little bit of comfort. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Swaddling can also be helpful, I think our kids were swaddled to around the one year age. If you haven't done this or don't know how I would recommend looking into it, it can be very soothing to a little one when done right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23949" LastActivityDate="2016-07-30T06:21:34.727" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26705" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26756" CreationDate="2016-07-31T23:47:01.983" Score="7" ViewCount="691" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife unfortunately has 0 patience, and a short-fuse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first pass, she will rationally and politely ask our son to do something, and then follow up with an explanation. But he's at a rebellious phase and 9/10 times will say NO. After-which she either tries again to explain, or just goes right for the threat of :&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;no (x) activity ( if one exists on the short-term agenda )&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;or her getting Angry.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The latter is usually the default.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly these threats eventually work ( although they still come with temper tantrums ).. but i've counted them and they avg around 10/day ( which is way too much )&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;how can i explain to her why this is a bad ( long-term )strategy, and what can she substitute it for?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17105" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T19:55:41.343" LastActivityDate="2017-01-27T15:08:06.923" Title="Wife uses threats on 4yrold - as her goto method" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26693" CreationDate="2016-08-01T03:33:37.480" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some of this is a variation of other comments but the importance of music cannot be overstated.  He can tell when it's cheap new-agey stuff or electronic dumbed-down lullabies (I imagine :-))&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What works for us is classical and folk music videos, especially Spanish guitar; rhythmic bouncing and body tapping; and my tone-challenged vocal jazz improvisations (been doing it since birth, so...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Really, I think he picks up on what I appreciate and wants to like the same.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I think his own movements keep waking him up, so with a body hug, I control his limbs to be folded in and immmobile as long as they're not flailing hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I let him choose his angle depending on fatigue level, and gradually lay him flatter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Total darkness sends the message there's nothing left to see here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nursing on a sippy cup of warm milk (of course he'd rather nurse) to make sure there's no remaining pangs of hunger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All these work for me and never fail to impress my wife. I have to be flexible about combining them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Music is just amazing -- find out what he likes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- another Daniel&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23963" LastActivityDate="2016-08-01T03:33:37.480" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26693" CreationDate="2016-08-01T04:11:17.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My checklist:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feed him.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bathe him (hygiene and calm down)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Massage him (to release gas and further calm down AND check for rash &amp;amp; wounds)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Check the temp (his temperature AND ALSO the house temperature, can't sleep if it is too hot)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;DRIVE - Any child under 5 years will sleep on a comfortable car - I don't know if it is the boring situation or the humming/vibration of the engine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once sleeping tight, the child can be taken back to the house. This is not a remedy, but a temporary solution for the parent(s) to get over this phase. Once the parent(s) get over the stress, these things get easier. Also, may not work for all the kids, but most anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23964" LastActivityDate="2016-08-01T04:11:17.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26388" CreationDate="2016-08-01T09:04:37.210" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are no rules concerning babies. Each individual is special and has his own rules.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My twins wouldn't sit unsupported until they were 9 mo, after that they crawled and walked fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can give her additional time and it is not a bad idea to consult your pediatrician. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastActivityDate="2016-08-01T09:04:37.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26710" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26711" CreationDate="2016-08-01T11:48:31.523" Score="5" ViewCount="235" Body="&lt;p&gt;A couple of days ago, I started playing a small game with my almost 5-year-old girl, before she goes to sleep. The game is about imagining fictional stories happening with her. For example, I say &quot;Let us imagine that you have a beautiful horse, and you go on a ride on that horse and see a little bird...&quot; She enjoys this game so much that sometimes we have to imagine 5 or 6 stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Till now this seems OK, but what worries me is that she always tells me &quot;Yes, yes, I want to buy a horse; yes, yes, I want a baby tiger.&quot; So she always tries to make or dreams of making the story a reality. Today she is waiting for me to play the imagination game before she goes to sleep, and I am wondering if I should continue with this game, or switch back to bedtime stories.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23968" LastEditorUserId="17352" LastEditDate="2016-08-03T15:22:15.613" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T08:06:16.463" Title="Playing Imagination Game with my 5-year-old girl" Tags="|imaginative-play|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26711" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26710" CreationDate="2016-08-01T14:20:28.803" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have just stumbled inadvertently on the principle of advertising: &lt;em&gt;if you only had (this item), your life would be so great! (you would be happier, etc.)&lt;/em&gt; It's possible that you're creating your own ads for &quot;things&quot;. Changing the narrative to non-material possessions may help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids do love to be the stars of their stories, so keep entertaining your daughter in this manner from time to time, but don't make the adventures depend on &quot;things&quot; she doesn't already have, or make the star of the story a trait she can develop: kindness, compassion, tolerance, perseverance, wisdom, etc., things within her capability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing you can try is using magical things, things she knows don't actually exist so which she can't ask to own. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, There are some wonderful stories out there that don't involve her at all; I would not want my kids to have missed out on the Winnie the Pooh stories, the Just So stories, Brer Rabbit, or hundreds of others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My worry about telling her too many stories starring herself is that she might carry this expectation into real life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-08-01T14:20:28.803" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26713" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-01T21:10:04.703" Score="3" ViewCount="3018" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 3 years old, and started to speak late. Now his vocabulary is vastly increasing, and I can ask him about colors of things or numbers or where is this and that, but I would like to pose him questions so that he can answer yes or no. What is the best approach for this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3499" LastActivityDate="2016-10-05T15:50:54.947" Title="How to motivate a 3 year old to answer &quot;yes&quot; or &quot;no&quot;" Tags="|speech|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26717" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26705" CreationDate="2016-08-02T20:32:51.350" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Since your wife likely isn't happy with the situation either (getting angry 10 times a day is no kind of fun) you might start with &quot;You don't seem happy, I'd like to help you.&quot; and listen. Then depending on what she says, you could offer to do the legwork and find a parenting strategy that seems to work for other people, or you could offer to arrange for her to have some time to herself for self care, or you could take on the most frustrating tasks yourself (bedtime? bathrime? laundry?), or whatever seems helpful to her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20772" LastActivityDate="2016-08-02T20:32:51.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26718" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-02T20:34:45.453" Score="6" ViewCount="363" Body="&lt;p&gt;I often have to do the bedtime routine for our two children on my own (they go to bed at the same time). They each choose a book and I read to them together, but the older (4 years) frequently interrupts both books with questions, objections, corrections and other comments. When I read to her on her own this is usually fine, but when she's with her 2-year old brother it bothers me that it's ruining his story and that he'll find it harder to follow or enjoy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9773" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T17:49:28.350" Title="How to read to a 4-year old and a 2-year old at the same time" Tags="|toddler|bedtime|siblings|reading|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26721" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26718" CreationDate="2016-08-03T03:25:52.760" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it isn't bothering your two year old, then you shouldn't let it bother you. I put my kids to bed together (they are not quite 2 years apart) up until very recently and I always did exactly like you-let them each pick a book and read to both at the same time. And, the exact same thing would happen-my older one would chit chat, ask questions, and flip back to previous pages. Actually, I can't say it was strictly the older boy-they could both be equally disruptive, or, &quot;inquisitive&quot;-sometimes at the same time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution is to just be patient and relax your expectations of how story time &quot;should&quot; be. Reading doesn't have to be enjoyed by silent passive listeners. It's ok for them to be asking questions-you just want to guide them towards waiting until you pause at the end of a sentence or page and then to refocus back on the story-teach them to be &lt;em&gt;polite&lt;/em&gt; if they must interrupt. The extra conversation/explanation is just as beneficial and enriching as the story itself.  By allowing them to ask questions and talk about the story you are actually teaching them to be better readers! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean it should be a free for all though-seeing as it's bedtime you need to stay on schedule (can't have them up all night!) The best way to deal with questions, in my experience, is to answer them with a question: &quot;what do you think&quot; is the best one (that's also the best response to the incessant &quot;why's&quot; during that phase of their life, btw.) The second way is to say &quot;let's keep reading and find out.&quot; If they go off-topic, I'll say &quot;let's finish the story and then you can tell me all about ___.&quot; Then, make sure you actually listen to them after and maybe ask them if they know what made them think of that during the story. My kids never cease to amaze me with the connections they make to the stories or pictures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On nights where you find that one child isn't interested in one of the books (say, the 4yo isn't interested in a &quot;baby&quot; book the 2 yo picked, or the 2yo can't follow the &quot;big kid&quot; book the 4yo picked) then you might want to have a plan B. I realize it's more convenient and efficient to read to both at the same time, but on occasion it's probably not feasible, especially if you are sure that one kid is ruining it for the other. Pick your battles! I would suggest you let the uninterested kid play quietly in the room while you give the other child one on one story time. I don't keep many toys in my boys' room-it's bad sleep &quot;hygiene&quot; to have distractions like toys or tv's in the bedroom-but I do keep a few things like puzzles, animal figures, and bristle blocks for &quot;quiet time,&quot; such as when I am reading to the other child. When finished with one kid's book, switch to the next one (if they want) and whoever just had their turn reading can either have a turn playing (like the other one just had) or can join and be read to twice. Some nights, both my boys would both decide they weren't all that interested in sitting and reading books at all and would rather play quietly. I would read to them anyway while they played. They still get the benefit of the story because their little minds are &quot;listening&quot; all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In summary-don't worry too much about &quot;maximizing&quot; the bedtime story  experience for your 2 yo at the expense of your 4yo or, worse, a peaceful bedtime. If you are able to get the books read and both kids to bed without strife by yourself you are doing just fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2016-08-03T03:25:52.760" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26722" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-03T05:09:09.807" Score="6" ViewCount="3317" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 4yrs old. And it doesn’t matter a kid is older than 4yrs or younger than 4yrs; some of my family members prefer Brandy even for a kid, if he/she is suffering from cough and cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even I have seen a statutory warning on the Brandy bottle so I am confused.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it recommended for kids? And&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can be the negative effects of Brandy, if it’s given to a Kid for cough and cold?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23807" LastActivityDate="2016-08-03T14:17:56.540" Title="Brandy for Kids" Tags="|health|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26723" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-03T09:19:43.690" Score="2" ViewCount="595" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 15 months old baby has started to walk and talk. Well, he says dad, mum, water, and some other words.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually he wakes up once or twice during night, but sometimes he does 3, 4 or 5 times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the other hand, he's feeding well before going to bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either when he wakes up 1-2 or 5 times, he does it saying &quot;mama, mama&quot; or &quot;papa, papa&quot;, and it seems like he's not getting the discipline of that everyone needs to rest. We can wake up because he pooped, or because he's afraid because some nightmare, or ok, once or twice because he just want to know we're there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;BTW, my wife and me have a dispute about &lt;em&gt;what to do&lt;/em&gt; when it's just that he wakes up many times thinking that it's time to play and enjoy instead of sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is that if he doesn't cry and just says &quot;papa&quot; or &quot;mama&quot; to call us, we should await to see what's going on. Who knows if he would start to sleep again once he realizes that we won't go with him if it's not the wake time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, as our pediatrist said some months ago, babies do a small cry of less than a minute, or they repeat a cry simulation and once they realize that mom or dad won't go they sleep again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main problem is that in my case I'm with the pediatrist, but my wife wants to avoid any frustration to our 15 month baby. This is a point of discussion, because I feel that, even when you're a baby, you need a small degree of exposure to frustration, because you need to learn that you can't get what you want when you think that's the moment to get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And the second problem is that both my wife and me, and also our baby, don't sleep well. Maybe a small exposure to the frustration so mom and dad won't get to him whenever he says &quot;mom&quot; or &quot;dad&quot; at any hour during night time can be beneficial. And in the long term it can assist our baby on sleeping more hours without waking up many times during bed time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you think?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16572" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T20:20:52.453" Title="15 months old and above baby: sleep discipline" Tags="|sleep|discipline|crying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26723" CreationDate="2016-08-03T09:33:36.057" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My twins start sleeping through night on 1y 8mo, while they kept waking up to drink water once per night but then sleep directly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The steps we followed were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We reduced their nap during the day to 1 nap per day, for 1.5 hrs maximum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We made many activities during the day ,whether at home or at the daycare, so they come at night tired and need full rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have the bedtime routine each time and at the same time every night (including bath, dinner, going to bed, cuddling, then the story)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My twin B kept to wake up to nurse until he was weaned at 2 yo.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When one of them wake up energetic and wants to play we kept him in his crib to play but we stay sleeping, and the lights off, so he would fall asleep again after 10-15 min. I (me or his dad not both if he was not screaming or crying) might check on him and say it is time to sleep we will play again in the morning each 5 min.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope these steps might help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget that each baby is unique and not all babies are alike. Some start sleeping through night at 4 mo (lucky parents), others might stay till 2 yo. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastActivityDate="2016-08-03T09:33:36.057" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26725" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26722" CreationDate="2016-08-03T09:59:59.153" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;From Wikipedia: Brandy generally contains 35–60% alcohol by volume (70–120 US proof)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_and_health&quot;&gt;Alcohol is unhealthy in general&lt;/a&gt;, especially bad for the brain and doubly so for a child's developing brain. So no, it's not recommended at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I (fortunately) don't know of any studies that gave children alcohol on purpose to test the effects, but known effects from alcohol exposure in the womb include  facial anomalies, low birth weight, stunted growth, small head size, delayed or uncoordinated motor skills, hearing or vision problems, learning disabilities, behavior problems, and inappropriate social skills compared to same-age peers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course a few spoons of Brandy will not cause all of that, but it shows that there are definite negative effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strike&gt;I'm not aware if the Brandy remedy is mostly used to sedate the child through the alcohol or if there are other benefits, but if there are, you could heat/boil the brandy to evaporate the alcohol before giving it.&lt;/strike&gt;&#xA;Per the comment form @anongoodnurse, this is not a good way to get the alcohol out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastEditorUserId="21724" LastEditDate="2016-08-03T14:17:56.540" LastActivityDate="2016-08-03T14:17:56.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26726" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26718" CreationDate="2016-08-03T14:20:29.723" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;...the older (4 years) frequently interrupts both books with questions, objections, corrections and other comments.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm assuming it is the &quot;frequently interrupts&quot; part and not the &quot;objections, corrections, and comments&quot; part that really bothers you. Certainly you love that your daughter is asking questions and speaking for herself, but you're less than pleased with the perhaps rude way that she's doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible she just doesn't know yet that what she's doing is rude. In this case I think you simply need to &lt;strong&gt;explain&lt;/strong&gt; to her, &lt;strong&gt;show&lt;/strong&gt; her, and &lt;strong&gt;practice&lt;/strong&gt; with her how to bring things up with proper manners (whatever proper manners is to you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;em&gt;best&lt;/em&gt; time to do this is NOT right before bed, hah; that's the worst time to try and do any sort of training with your kids. But find a time of peace during the day, pull out a book, and say to her &quot;I'm going to show you how to be polite while I read you a book.&quot; Treat it like &lt;em&gt;training&lt;/em&gt;, but also make it fun!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do this every day or at least as often as you feel like she needs it. If she interrupts the bedtime story again remind her about what you and her practiced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastActivityDate="2016-08-03T14:20:29.723" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26727" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-03T15:16:39.727" Score="1" ViewCount="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;My mother is feeding my 4 month year old baby sister oranges (because she likes and cries for oranges). We think this could have a disadvantage on her. What should we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23983" LastActivityDate="2016-08-03T15:16:39.727" Title="Disadvantages of feeding infants oranges" Tags="|feeding|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-08-04T01:59:51.033" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26710" CreationDate="2016-08-03T18:02:11.270" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that perhaps this is an opportunity for a more interesting conversation.  I think there's nothing wrong with her saying she wants a baby tiger or a horse or whatever; it's quite common (Pony is the traditional thing, but tiger, who knows!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's valuable is the conversation after she says she wants it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want a baby pony!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay dear, so, where are we going to keep this baby pony?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the yard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, but an adult pony requires at the minimum 500 square meters of space to roam to feel happy.  We have 100 square meter back yard.  Where do we move him to when he grows up?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want a baby tiger!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay dear, sounds good.  What are we feeding this baby tiger?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meat!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay dear.  Tigers need 10 kg of meat per day.  Do you know what that costs?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Umm...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A kg of beef costs $3.  So $30 per day in meat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sounds good dad!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, so where are you going to earn this money?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Etc.  The important thing to learn for the child is &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; we can't really have the tiger/pony/whatever. Have intelligent conversations with her about exactly what details are keeping you from having a tiger/pony/etc. will help her develop the skills later in life for choosing not to buy the $1500 sound system or going to the $100 a plate restaurant.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-08-03T18:02:11.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26710" CreationDate="2016-08-03T21:38:55.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it's great! But maybe switch to things she can do instead of things she can have. But on the other hand, what a great way to teach her about the difference between real and pretend, and even about how we can't always have everything we want! I think it's great to have daydreams, if we can learn to be content in the knowledge that not all our daydreams can become reality. It's a part of life, so why stop your fun to hide that truth?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23987" LastActivityDate="2016-08-03T21:38:55.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26730" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26738" CreationDate="2016-08-04T03:47:51.673" Score="3" ViewCount="5859" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my baby is awake it smells normal. But when it sleeps it makes its room smell strongly like freshly baked bread. The room is clean and has no odor when unoccupied. My baby's urine smells normal and the room smells bready when its diaper is clean. My baby's hair and breath don't smell unusual. But morning after morning I wake to the aroma of a freshly baked baguette.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it normal for a baby to smell bready? What could cause this odor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23990" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-05T12:56:26.857" LastActivityDate="2018-10-05T12:56:26.857" Title="What could cause my baby's bedroom to smell like bread after sleep?" Tags="|health|bedroom|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2016-08-11T13:18:38.510" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26731" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26699" CreationDate="2016-08-04T04:42:32.683" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need some new tools. Google &quot;discipline techniques&quot; and you will find plenty of ideas. Pick something you think will work. If it doesn't, try something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One parenting system (commercial product) that has been particularly effective for us is &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.loveandlogic.com/about/why-love-and-logic&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Love and Logic&lt;/a&gt;. Specifically, two things that have worked very well from this program are offering choices and using logical consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1) Offer choices:&lt;/strong&gt; This only works &lt;em&gt;before&lt;/em&gt; a conflict. You can't offer choices when your child is already disobeying. Before a conflict, offer your daughter two choices:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would you like to clean your room before dinner or after dinner?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Would you like to drink water or juice with lunch?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important that both choices are reasonable. &quot;Would you like to eat fish or nothing?&quot; doesn't work, as not eating is not a reasonable outcome. You cannot offer a punishment as a choice. &quot;Are you going to say you're sorry or go to your room?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is to offer limited, shared control before she attempts to take full control of the situation. Don't allow her to change the options. &quot;I want milk.&quot; is not an acceptable answer if you didn't offer it. If she doesn't make a choice quickly, tell her you can make the choice for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I can choose for you if you're having trouble deciding.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she takes longer than 5-10 seconds, choose for her. Don't back down from your decision no matter how much she protests. Don't count. She will quickly learn how far she can push you before you will break.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2) Use logical consequences:&lt;/strong&gt; This one can be more difficult, but is very effective when done correctly. Allow your kids to learn lessons from life. Here are some examples:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She misbehaves in a restaurant or fun place. &quot;You know what? This wasn't very fun for me. You really drained my energy. I don't think we're going to come here again for a while.&quot; If there were any additional fun activities planned, consider cancelling them so you can go home and regain some energy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She refuses to brush her teeth at night. &quot;Uh oh! I give sweets to kids who take good care of their teeth. I don't think you're going to be able to have dessert anymore if you won't brush.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She throws her dinner on the floor. &quot;I'm sorry you did that. What a mess! Would you be cleaning this up yourself or do you want to pay me to do it? I charge $1 per minute.&quot; If she doesn't have money, that's okay. She can do some extra jobs for you until she's repaid her debt.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She asks for dessert after not eating her dinner. &quot;Oh, I'm sorry. It's really bad to put unhealthy foods in an empty tummy. I wouldn't want you to get sick.&quot; If you're feeling generous, &quot;Would you like some carrots or an apple instead?&quot; Otherwise, &quot;We'll be eating breakfast in the morning.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The presentation of the consequences is key. You have to be empathetic. If you act happy or sarcastic when your kids are experiencing negative consequences, they learn that you are their enemy. You want them to know that you love them and are genuinely sad they have to experience the consequences. But you can't rescue them! They don't learn anything from the mistake when you shield them from the consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that not all consequences are negative. Try to make your rewards be logical consequences of good behavior. Paying your daughter not to hit teaches her how to extort money from kids at school. Allowing her more freedom at the park when she proves she can make good choices is a logical consequence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3) BONUS: Use enforceable statements:&lt;/strong&gt; Rather than telling your daughter what she &lt;em&gt;must&lt;/em&gt; do, tell her what you &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instead of saying, &quot;Brush your teeth.&quot; Say, &quot;I give sweets to kids who take good care of their teeth.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Instead of saying, &quot;Stop hitting.&quot; Say, &quot;I take well-behaved kids to the park.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't make threats. &quot;You can't go to the park if you don't stop hitting.&quot; Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. &quot;I'll pay you $1,000,000 if you don't hit your friends today.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23989" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T04:42:32.683" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26732" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-04T06:47:55.103" Score="5" ViewCount="244" Body="&lt;p&gt;My first question here, and here's the situation:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;20 month old baby girl. Had a bout of the rainy stomach bug 5 days ago, she was down with a bad fever for 2 days, recovered from the fever on the 3rd day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But from the last 3 days:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She has eaten like 5 tbsps of rice. That's it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She's still&#xA;breast fed, so she's feeding almost every other hour (obviously she's&#xA;hungry?) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She's become insanely cranky and clingy, not leaving her&#xA;mother even for a second. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Interact with her with anything,&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;ANYTHING&lt;/strong&gt;, and she starts crying inconsolably. And we have tried like&#xA;everything, the only response is crying + submissive behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;She's not in pain or discomfort, when we put some of her favorite&#xA;videos, she will watch them... sitting in our lap of course! She does have a little runny nose, but not like a full blown cold.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are at our wits end now, how do we resolve this? Is this a phase? She was never like this, always quite independent at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How many days can she go without any food? And we have tried ALL her favorite foods, she just keeps saying no to every one of them, as if we are offering her poison, and oh yes, she also starts crying then too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help please, this is our second child, and though we are &quot;experienced&quot;, this is something we are not able to decipher...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23991" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T09:22:41.250" Title="20m Old Baby Is Insanely Cranky + Clingy + Not Leaving Her Mom, We Are At Our Wits End!" Tags="|breastfeeding|crying|sickness|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26710" CreationDate="2016-08-04T08:06:16.463" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Take a look at No Thank You Evil ! A game of Make-Believe from Monte Cook.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's designed for kids from 5 years old. It sounds a bit like what you are doing but with a bit more structure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T08:06:16.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26732" CreationDate="2016-08-04T09:22:41.250" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;This does not, on the face of it, sound terribly unusual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She has probably not fully recovered yet. If she is still feeling ill, it makes sense for her to be cranky. Wouldn't you be?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she is breastfeeding regularly, she may not need more food. Even if she normally eats other food, during stomach problems hunger is often reduced, so she may not want more. Not eating for a while is generally not so problematic, the important thing is to drink enough.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, if you have even the slighest worries about her state, &lt;strong&gt;take her to a doctor&lt;/strong&gt;. In your case there is ample reason to do so, so take her to a doctor as soon as possible to have her checked out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From what you describe, I don't think she is in a critical situation, but there is no point in taking a chance. Just &lt;strong&gt;have her checked out&lt;/strong&gt;, and you will hopefully all sleep better soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T09:22:41.250" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2016-08-04T12:42:48.347" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am gonna be a step grandma my self in a few short months.  I am looking for a name to be called and I think since the baby already has one bio nan, 2 grandnans and and 2 great grand dads, plus her step fathers family, and my family is a step family.    I have a stepdad and step family as well, I call them dad and nan and gramps just like the rest.  He has been my dad since I was about 3.   I have been a step mom since hubbys daughter was about 11.  I am as excited about this baby as if he/she is my bio grandbaby.   Having said this I do not wanna be called nan or grammie as I think it would be unfair to the bio grandparents and family.  Same time that could be all in my head,  the name I do get labelled with is 1 I am gonna want any future grandbabies to use as well, all grandchildren should call me the same thing and feel as equally loved. Have no doubt I will love this baby to no end.  Step grandbaby or not this will be my first and I will not ever treat her as a step anything.  I chose names that I like then baby mama can chose which I shall be called.  MY choices,so far, are Mimzy, Nonni, or Tilly.  If I was gonna b a grandpa and the kids called me Mr Joe and it made me feel special and connected to em I wouldnt change a thing.   I think the name is between Mr. Joe and the kids.   If they are all happy with it why change it?  If it doesnt make him feel less than granddad whats the harm?  Mom sounds like the one with the issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23994" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T12:42:48.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26730" CreationDate="2016-08-04T18:31:07.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11yo son's hair has a very strong &quot;scent,&quot; not anything specific, like bread, but distinctly &quot;him.&quot; His hair tends to be almost waxy, even when clean, and every morning his room smells like...him. No one else in my house can smell it but me, and it's less noticeable when he gets a crew cut in the summer (that's how I know it's his hair). It's possible your baby is the same way...and you are very sensitive to your baby's natural scent like I am. Everybody has a scent, btw, it's just that most people are not consciously aware of them. It's nothing to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T18:31:07.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26687" CreationDate="2016-08-04T20:43:36.993" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Without seeing it's hard to say anything for sure, but based on how every car seat I have encountered is constructed I am inclined to ask whether your boy's belt straps are sufficiently tight. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For his head to be that far back the seat would either need to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not have sufficient padding/bracing behind his head, which is a problem in and of itself&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Be letting his chest move forward and away from the back of the seat so that his head can move back that far&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a lot of padding around his torso that doesn't exist behind his head.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The last could be possible if you're strapping him in while still wearing a very puffy coat (but in August?) but the recommendations are that you don't leave kids in thick coats when strapping them down anyway, precisely because then you can't tighten the straps sufficiently tight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure he's in tight enough and that the chest strap/buckle is high enough up on his chest to keep it firmly back against the seat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T20:43:36.993" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26740" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26671" CreationDate="2016-08-04T20:50:34.040" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a lot of things you can do, but one I'd put at the top is this: &lt;strong&gt;stop spanking&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;All the research indicates spanking causes problems and solves none&lt;/a&gt;, even in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/stevens/ct-spanking-effects-study-balancing-0428-20160428-column.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;recent studies that control for it only being used in perfect calm rather than in anger or combined with other physical punishment&lt;/a&gt;. You do not want your child to hit you. Stop sending the message that hitting is acceptable in order to get the result you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Spanking makes children's behavior worse,&quot; lead author Elizabeth T. Gershoff told me. &quot;It has the opposite effect than what parents want: It doesn't make children better-behaved, and it doesn't teach children right from wrong. It's not related to immediate compliance, and it doesn't make children behave better in the future.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2016-08-04T20:50:34.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26742" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26745" CreationDate="2016-08-05T15:09:42.790" Score="3" ViewCount="3930" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have enrolled our 6 year old daughter in the Kumon tutoring service for maths since November 2015, and at first she enjoyed it, completing the worksheets well and seeming to really understand her mathematics. We then started her English a few months ago, and again, she started well, enjoying it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However in the past month or so, she's stopped enjoying it, finding it harder, and losing concentration with it, making silly mistakes in the process. She's losing her passion for Kumon, and it seems to be extending to learning in general. She's also not being actively taught in class, and she recently started column addition, but really struggled, meaning we had to go through it with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We try not to put any pressure on her, and only really complain about her results when it seems as if she's not put effort into the work, which recently is becoming more and more common.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were thinking about stopping it, as if she's not enjoying it, we're worried about the impact it might have on her learning. We've also spoken to another parent that started it with their daughter, and they've now stopped it, because they thought it was stopping the passion and creativity for her, so we think it might be something that doesn't help for some children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were thinking it might be better to start a one to one tutor instead, as there's more teaching involved (which is kept to a minimum in Kumon), and it may help keep her creativity and passion for education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone used Kumon? And do you think it's better or worse than a private tutor?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20379" LastActivityDate="2019-08-14T11:37:13.633" Title="Worried that Kumon tutoring is not working for our daughter" Tags="|education|teaching|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26698" CreationDate="2016-08-05T18:05:12.740" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My guess would be that she isn't trying to be rude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's perfectly understandable for anyone to feel uncomfortable or intimidated by their peers parents especially if they are being judged by those parents ( which you are.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are sincerely concerned with developing a relationship with her, and thereby strengthening your relationship with son your focus will need be on what actions you can take to make her more comfortable around you prior to getting to know her better. This can only be achieved  with continuous and sincere efforts. Trying to start a conversation and patting yourself on the back and judging her to be rude is not going to help and will invariably lead to damaging the relationship with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are finding this difficult it may be because you have a need for validation which you are seeking from her. It can be very effective to explore those needs with a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24003" LastActivityDate="2016-08-05T18:05:12.740" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1050" CreationDate="2016-08-05T20:57:36.563" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Honestly, children can sense your emotion and your ex's emotion. I would say the biggest thing you can do for them is to not fight in front of them, and be open and encouraging. If you guys have days after divorced where they visit the other parent, make sure those days are consistent so they know that the other parent hasn't left. And ultimately, be sure to communicate to them that the separation is not their fault. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24005" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-08-06T12:21:46.090" LastActivityDate="2016-08-06T12:21:46.090" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26742" CreationDate="2016-08-05T23:55:03.147" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The current trend of nose to the grindstone learning for children is starting to be unveiled as a bad thing. Children are not meant to be test taking machines. There are studies starting to come out about children doing much better with play times in-between learning. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/06/how-finland-keeps-kids-focused/373544/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Here is one such article.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you'll read the article in full, but here is a quote that gives the general idea:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What’s most important is not where kids take breaks but how much&#xA;  freedom we give them from their structured work. When break times are&#xA;  teacher-directed, Pellegrini found, the recess loses its value. It’s&#xA;  free-play that gives students the opportunity to develop social&#xA;  competence. During these times, they not only rest and recharge—they&#xA;  also learn to cooperate, communicate, and compromise, all skills they&#xA;  need to succeed academically as well as in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastActivityDate="2016-08-05T23:55:03.147" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26742" CreationDate="2016-08-06T00:14:33.227" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not a parent, but I am a student whose parents did sign me up for tutoring when I was younger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents picked a tutor from a variety of sources they knew personally, and ultimately came to decide on a girl from the local high school who had recently graduated. This is not meant to be a horror story - just a document of my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was that age, I really struggled with math. And I mean really struggled. I couldn't do basic addition, I couldn't do multiplication in my head, and I couldn't divide for the life of me. This girl (classified as a private tutor) had to do a lot. She had to get me to sit down, she had to get me to like it, and she had to get me to shut up. I couldn't concentrate on math for more than five seconds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It must've been a pain for her, who was now working on some type of thesis for college. I sat there, and looking back, found she was more than a little selfish. If she had just gone a little slower, maybe we would've seen each other eye-to-eye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm trying to say here is it really doesn't matter what tutor you go with (whether affiliated with a group or not) - it matters more the content of the individual tutor's character and their patience to work with your child. Of course, your child should be willing to work too, but that matters less than a supposedly more mature adult's work ethic and experience. If they can't calm your child long enough to get them through an equation, they're not worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's basically a cost-benefit analysis comprised of what's best for your child along with the tutor's particular credentials. Also, as a recent graduate of the rote-memorization type school system present in America, I would say that what's best for your child also includes learning methods tailored to her. Rote is not necessarily a bad thing, you just have to be used to it and like it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24007" LastActivityDate="2016-08-06T00:14:33.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26747" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26742" CreationDate="2016-08-06T02:55:57.577" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think it depends a lot on who the private tutor is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kumon centers have a reputation for being very intensive.  While reasonably rapid calculation at each level of math is important as a foundation on which to build at the next level, the speed targeted by Kumon centers is probably more than is necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've used Kumon workbooks - specifically, the grade level workbooks, not the early learning workbooks - for my two older kids, now 6 and 8.  I think they provide an adequate amount of practice, without the overkill of the Kumon centers.  I do think it's worthwhile to provide some explanations when new concepts are introduced; for example, if your daughter's column addition involves more than one digit, it may help explicitly to explain the concept and mechanics of carrying.  It will also be important for your daughter to understand place value; the Kumon &quot;Geometry and Measurement&quot; books might be good for that.  If your daughter had not yet done subtraction, the Kumon &quot;Grade 1 Subtraction&quot; book might also be appropriate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also recommend math oriented games.  In particular, &quot;Sleeping Queens&quot; is an excellent game that involves single digit addition; I would bet that your daughter would love playing it with you.  &quot;Zeus on the Loose&quot; is good for the transition to double digit addition and some other arithmetic manipulations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do recommend you allocate perhaps an hour a day to help supervise and do these workbook and game activities with your daughter if you decide to use them instead of tutoring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-08-06T02:55:57.577" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18208" CreationDate="2016-08-06T17:38:56.113" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How is the little one doing with teeth? Our little dude just broke two teeth and slept better the whole next week. Now we are back to screaming but his canines looks close. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24014" LastActivityDate="2016-08-06T17:38:56.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26730" CreationDate="2016-08-07T13:02:25.150" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could be a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/oral-thrush---babies/pages/introduction.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;yeast infection&lt;/a&gt; - sometimes found combined with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/Pages/Nappy-rash.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;nappy rash&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best to have a doctor check them out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;See: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/647/11210&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/647/11210&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11210" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-08-07T13:02:25.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26705" CreationDate="2016-08-08T11:23:56.100" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your wife gets angry because of the overwhelming state of uncertainty and doubt. Parenting is a tough job sometimes because, unless we learn to parent effectively, we usually parent the way we were parented. Imagine that your child isn't going through a rebellious phase,  but actually, communicating.   Imagine your child is using his behavior to communicate something his words are not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps imagine that your child is actually saying &quot;you can't make me!!&quot;. What your child is telling your wife is &quot;give me choices, involve me usefully&quot;. Misbehavior is communication. Your child is seeking significance and belonging which are his emotional needs.   His &quot;no&quot; is not something to be broken,  rather to be appreciated as a message. Ask him what he wants by giving him choices from two things.   For example,  instead of PUT YOUR SHOES ON. &quot;what do we put on our feet before going outside?&quot; or &quot;what do you want to wear the sandals or sneakers&quot; (can you see that wearing the shoes is a message within the choice?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Stop all threats,  time out,  and punitive consequences (punishment). Things will continue to worsen by using those.   Spend more one to one time with this child.   That means that you spend at least 10 minutes twice per day of totally present,  uninterrupted, focused, involved, time, doing what he wants to be doing, (playing,  reading, building, walking, etc.) that doesn't involve any phones ,tv, or  electronic devices.   Establish that ritual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your child gets to that rebellious point, he is rebelling against something or someone, right?  Ok,  so if you want to take away something, take away the reason for rebellion.   How?  When you see him starting to get &quot;there&quot;...In a very calm voice... Tell him that you need a hug.   Wait without saying another word.   A few moments later,  tell him again.   If he still didn't want to,  tell him a third time.   If again he refuses,  tell him that you need a hug,  so when he feels like giving one,  to come find you,  and that YOU will be going to YOUR quiet space. DISCONNECT quickly,  while you still have your wits about you,  and don't become reactive, because then boom!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, get a life outside parenting.   Exercise,  hobbies,  volunteer,  connect with you.   Think,  what do you want?  What do you have? What do you need?  How many ways can you get it?  What are you doing?  Answer those questions to help you determine something outside of motherhood.   It will help you become more leveled. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea is to become your child's Leader,  not Overseer or Commander.   Obviously,  you can tell already that overpowering isn't effective.   Think on this.   His rebellion is a result of him feeling discouraged.   He is feeling insignificant because he is not permitted to discover his innate desire for autonomy.   He is feeling discouraged because he has no positive connection,  just correction, and threats, so his attention is negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By changing the dynamic with one to one time,  disconnecting,  hugs,  choices,  and connection,  as well as,  getting in touch with yourself... You will get very different behavior.   Training is another thing to do,  but I would establish the encouraging and loving relationship again first. Best to you and your family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2017-01-27T15:08:06.923" LastActivityDate="2017-01-27T15:08:06.923" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26757" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26705" CreationDate="2016-08-08T11:52:26.950" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can always substitute the threat of losing something (e.g. tv time) with a &quot;privilege&quot; that has to be &quot;earnt&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that manner you can always be positive, and teach the child that good behaviour is rewarded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example we had a lot of trouble with my young child eating their dinner (also 4 years old).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Nothing worked... until I put it in these simple terms: watching his favourite kids channel on youtube was a &quot;privilege&quot; that could only be earnt by A) eating his dinner and B) being good all day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Combine with positive reinforcement and talk about the privilege often. For example, &quot;Hey buddy, You've been really good so far today!! Are you looking forward to watching youtube tonight, after you eat all your dinner? Which youtube are you going to watch?&quot; etc etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It happens that he doesn't eat his dinner and therefore doesn't get to watch youtube after dinner. But we haven't threatened anything - it's up to him to &quot;earn it&quot; if he wants (and he does, 95% of the time).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry, all parents get stressed from time to time, but if it happens too often the parents should definitely find ways to be more patient - de-stress a little, get a babysitter and take a date night, resolve other problems, work a little less, take up a hobby - whatever works for you - but definitely try to work on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T11:52:26.950" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26758" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-08T11:56:51.023" Score="5" ViewCount="3127" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been teaching my 2 year 8 month old son to take a small piece of toilet paper and dry his penis then get another larger piece of toilet paper to clean his butt when he pees and poos in the toilet. I learned a couple months after he started using the big potty that my wife has been having him use the same piece of toilet paper in both areas cleaning his penis first then his butt - as thats what girls do, wipe front to back with the same piece of toilet paper. To me, I would think boys and girls would just do it differently besides boys can't wipe from front to back in one motion anyways. What is the best way for boys to clean their pee and poo after using the toilet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7975" LastActivityDate="2022-11-24T12:58:22.290" Title="What is the proper way for boys to wipe/clean their pee and poo after using the toilet?" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18208" CreationDate="2016-08-08T13:51:39.610" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've also made a similar experience around the same age, our daughter simply didn't want to go to sleep during the day. In the retrospective, I can definitely say that this was merely a phase. She made a leap ahead in her development and this made her day too interesting to accept a mandatory break. Eventually this effect faded away and the simple day sleep routine came back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I would consider crying a clear sign of trouble. Children should feel safe and comfortable in their crib, once they associate something negative with it getting away from that perception will be very hard. Here is the things we did to make sure our daughter doesn't despise sleeping during the day:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sleep in our bed rather than her crib (change).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;My wife or me will always lie down next to her, and show that we want to sleep as well (lead by example).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;In the bed, read a few pages from a book she chose before switching off lights and actually going to sleep (fun and gives her a chance to quieten down).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;During the very problematic phases we would also do something to relax her, e.g. &quot;baking a pizza&quot; on her back (massage).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, it should always be considered whether the times are still right for her. Obviously, she will need less sleep as she grows. But there will also be temporary phases where she needs more or less sleep than usual. Note that crying takes away lots of energy - if she cannot fall asleep without that then maybe she really isn't tired. You can just try to let her play a bit longer. Of course, you should watch out for signs of her being tired (children being fretful in particular is usually a sign that they are overdue for sleep).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24021" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T13:51:39.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26760" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26761" CreationDate="2016-08-08T14:09:15.363" Score="3" ViewCount="345" Body="&lt;p&gt;my toddler son is two years old, one month ago I and my wife were blessed with the birth of our 2nd boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My old son seems to understand the situation and welcomed his kid bro at first. Recently, however, my wife raised concerns that he might be a little jealous of the little one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What she observed were:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he shows reluctance to visit his mother if my wife is with his kid bother;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;for once he made some unfriendly moves toward his brother, like pinching his legs - not to the extend of real harm, though.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he was already little spoiled and now becoming more demanding for attentions, for example, he insists on more hugging and carrying in arms, which I urge my wife and relatives not to do, as he became very heavy now and I am afraid he would become less independent.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought my wife was over worried, nevertheless, to be fair, is her concern legitimate? And what should we do if it proves so?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23716" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T18:44:19.107" Title="Is my 2 year old son jealous of his kid brother?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|newborn|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26760" CreationDate="2016-08-08T14:49:06.587" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, your son is jealous, that is almost inevitable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, your wife's concern is legitimate, though the situation sounds fairly normal, not alarming in any way. It can however get worse if not managed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should do is give your son a distinct role and position as older brother. Be explicit about the 'privileges' he is getting that his brother is not: Different toys, a bigger bed, being allowed to do stuff by himself or help with things, etc. Basically, present all the things you were going to give him anyway (as part of his development) as belonging to that special status of bigger brother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The intent is to make him feel his place in the family is secure. Currently he measures that by quantity of attention spent on him vs his baby brother and he's losing badly. By explicitly giving him a &lt;strong&gt;different&lt;/strong&gt; place and measuring it in ways that don't depend on time spent, you can hopefully alleviate some of his jealousy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That doesn't mean it's a replacement for spending time with your undivided attention on your son! Quality time interacting with your son is by far the best way to make him feel secure and happy, but if you can't always make time, this is a good backup.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T14:49:06.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26758" CreationDate="2016-08-08T16:31:41.067" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not sure there is a 'proper' or 'best' way. Both the ones you describe will work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For little children the most important thing can be to make it easy for them to get it right so I'd suggest letting him use whichever method he prefers could be the best option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, you should let him know that both ways are right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T16:31:41.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26766" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26791" CreationDate="2016-08-08T19:08:08.630" Score="5" ViewCount="333" Body="&lt;p&gt;I might be over worrying this issue but I have realized whenever anything say like he hurts himself- not bad just during playtime and he starts crying, instead of coming to me for comfort or consolation he will rather prefer to walk away crying and go to his room. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have to call and follow him so that I can console him, it will take him like minutes before he accepts my consolation. I really feel sad about this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this okay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've always seen kids run to their parents for consolation whenever something happens to them. My son doesn't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's almost 20 month's now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Update: no other strange behavior. He surely listens when I ask him to stop doing something - I'm not hard on him, he's still small. The only thing I can say is that he doesn't like being assisted. He's already shown some strong independence traits, can this be the reason. Do independent kids behave like this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastEditorDisplayName="user22314" LastEditDate="2016-08-10T22:32:45.433" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T16:50:50.827" Title="How to console a baby who prefers to cry alone?" Tags="|toddler|crying|independence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26696" CreationDate="2016-08-08T23:22:02.587" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry this is happening.  Please start with neuropsychological testing as soon as possible.  I have a 6 year old same thing.  Boston Children's Hospital has been awesome.  If there is a Children's Hospital near you, ask your pediatrician for a referral.  My son has Aspergers which I suspected.  Knowing now helps me develop a new toolkit so to speak.  There is an online place to start at www.cognoa.com. if it weren't for them I would still be floundering.  They are not affiliated with Boston Children's.&#xA;Don't wait longer ok...  Don't let anything stop you from getting a complete assessment.  I have an adult daughter (30) whom I had such problems with. She is just now being diagnosed with Aspergers.  She is my little 6 year Olds bio  mom.  I adopted him as she could not care for him.&#xA;I was afraid to search for help outside of the Internet:&#xA;Afraid I would be blamed&#xA;Afraid that the belief that I was a bad mom would be a reality&#xA;Afraid (irrationally so) I would lose my daughter&#xA;Afraid I wouldn't be able to ever understand or do the work that needed to be done&#xA;And...I was exhausted!  I still am.&#xA;But I want this little guy to have a better chance, so I am going for it.  His bio mom (my dtr) is a mess, and living a bad way.  I am going to get all the help I can for this guy no matter how afraid I am.&#xA;I hope this helps...&#xA;You can do what it takes.  Keep us posted..&#xA;Donna&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24011" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T23:22:02.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26653" CreationDate="2016-08-08T23:27:51.547" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh boy.  You know what?  Stop trying for now.  Create a safe place for your child to discover the potty and what it means.  Kids books in a basket next to the toilet, Elms potty video is great!  Buy a cheap baby doll toy that has the whole and let your child feed the bottle and place on potty to empty.&#xA;Please, please, don't stress about it.  When it becomes a non-issue for you, your child will make it an issue.  Believe me.  Oh and BTW, that will be true FOREVER AND EVER! lol&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24011" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T23:27:51.547" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26770" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26514" CreationDate="2016-08-08T23:43:27.827" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You know, children are really in tune to us as parents. My suggestion would be to try as hard as you can to simply normalize the situation. &#xA;I would tell my child &quot; I know you are afraid of certain things. I don't think you need to be, but these are your thoughts and I respect them. You can always talk to me about anything! I won't tell you that you are wrong about your fears.&quot;&#xA;Then show respect.  Example &quot;Susan, I am going to the bathroom to brush my hair, if you need to go and would like company, now's a good time.&quot;  &quot;Susan it's bedtime. I would prefer you to sleep in your own bed.  Are you ready to tonight?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If not, then &quot; A compromise then, you can fall asleep in my bed, but yours is for you to sleep in.  I will bring you there and be sure to leave the light on for you&quot;&#xA;My 10 y/o, adopted girl slept with a light on till she was 8. She still climbs into my bed.  She has had many fears that I simply cannot reconcile, but the less I make of them, give her respect and avoid over thinking things, the happier she is.  I always tell her, you can talk to me, and I promise to listen with my face (no phone or computer).  She can also let me know if she would like a response or if she just needs to vent.&#xA;Lights are out now, she goes to the basement alone, and more.&#xA;When we make their deals BIG deals, they get scared.  Been raising kids for 32 years.  Still learning.. &#xA;Whatever you choose to do... Good luck!  And yes, it will pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24011" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2016-08-11T13:18:00.430" LastActivityDate="2016-08-11T13:18:00.430" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26771" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26639" CreationDate="2016-08-08T23:56:26.293" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a similar situation.  Good or bad this is what I did.  Lord I know some people are going to be giving me the hairy eyeball!&#xA;I allowed my 5 year old to use his Nabi tablet for 30 mind in his bed BUT only if he went to sleep on his own afterward. he liked the back rub and story thing too.&#xA;I also asked the pediatrician about Melatonin. Which is all natural and something our bodies make naturally.  She said to give it a try. So I used 1mg of Melatonin, and a Nabi.  A month later got rid of Melatonin.  he still likes Nabi 6 now but he falls asleep in 15-20 minutes playing or reading on there.&#xA;Hairy eyeballs be damned! It worked!  LoL&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24011" LastActivityDate="2016-08-08T23:56:26.293" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26339" CreationDate="2016-08-09T00:03:43.950" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree.  Please bring her to her pediatrician and request a neurological work up.  Labs, maybe a head CT, and ex ray of stomach area.  I'm a nurse.  Most common sites of pain or invisible malady are head and stomach.&#xA;Poor baby.  Poor Mom...&#xA;Be assertive get the work ups... if they find nothing Yippy.  You can never regret that!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24011" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T00:03:43.950" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26773" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26742" CreationDate="2016-08-09T04:01:54.500" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I took Kumon for 6 years as a kid &amp;amp; now a Mom. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will I sign my daughter up for Kumon? Absolutely - Kumon is not just about math but great for character building. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be frank, I hated Kumon as a kid. For a 10 years old, it's insanely dull and boring to do hundreds of math problems everyday. However despite of my heavy protest, my parents insisted on me continuing, stressing that I needed a good math foundation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After I started middle school, I realized my parents were right. Because of Kumon, solving arithmetic has become a reflex. When facing with a difficult math problem, I can spend time to come up with many solutions since I can finish the actual calculation in a flash. Math became my favorite subject because I was able to focus on problem solving,the fun part, rather than the boring mechanics like adding and subtracting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More importantly, Kumon taught me discipline to work patiently even if the task is boring or seems impossible. Life is not all fun and games. I want my daughter to learn how to work through challenges instead of quitting when things get tough.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Want to teach your children persistence and diligence? sign them up for Kumon. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24008" LastEditorUserId="24008" LastEditDate="2016-08-09T04:07:26.177" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T04:07:26.177" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26774" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26778" CreationDate="2016-08-09T12:10:44.323" Score="4" ViewCount="2932" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son (2y5m) always cries when I bring him to the day care in the morning. I thought it could be because he doesn't really like it very much there, and would rather stay some time with his dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the people working at the day care told me that he stops crying after not even 5 minutes and plays very well by himself or with the other kids. Sometimes when I want to pick him up in the afternoon, he even tells me he wants to stay and play a little more. I ask him every day how it was, and he often tells me that it was fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm just very confused by this behaviour. He's been in this particular kindergarden for 3 months now, so the initial thought that he just needs to adjust also hasn't proven true. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm at a loss as to why he's crying in the morning, when he apparently really likes it there. Is there anything I can do or should I just try to wait this behaviour out?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24031" LastEditorUserId="24031" LastEditDate="2016-08-10T08:32:17.277" LastActivityDate="2022-01-18T18:41:19.937" Title="Son cries intensively every morning when I bring him to day care, but he ostensibly likes it there" Tags="|toddler|behavior|crying|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26718" CreationDate="2016-08-09T14:57:10.660" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I used to let my older child look at books by himself/pick out what book he wanted me to read or do another quiet activity in the other room while I read to my younger child. Then when it was my older child's turn, I would read it with my younger child present also.  My children were the same way as yours.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23911" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T14:57:10.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26774" CreationDate="2016-08-09T16:00:17.530" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is called &quot;separation anxiety&quot;.  It's a sign of a strong, loving bond, with parents. It causes some distress for parents, because no-one likes to see their child crying.  But those tears stop very quickly after the parent has left.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/Pages/separation-anxiety.aspx&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/Pages/separation-anxiety.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T16:00:17.530" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26774" CreationDate="2016-08-09T16:08:32.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried a role play?  Give him a choice; &quot;you can hug goodbye crying,  or you can hug goodbye happy&quot;.   Ask the teacher to meet you at the door,  she takes him,  quick hug,  disconnect and go.   Role play this at home at a calm time, at home.   When you get to school,  just play it out the same way as you did with the role play.   Don't get into consoling, or doing favors.  He will keep you jumping through hoops if he can to keep you there.   It sounds though that you just drop off.   That's good.  Hug,  &quot;I love you,  see you later.&quot;  Done. Be confident.   There's a process behind every behavior.   It's a how to process, rather than a why.   Which means that there is a step by step procedure he follows internally and externally,  wherein crying is one of the steps.   We  all do it.  We are usually more aware of it when trying to implement changes like a new diet,  or getting rid of a habit.   One step triggers the next.  So, throw a wrench into it.   Interrupt the process.   By having teacher greet you at the door and whisk your boy away with a quick I love you and  see you later... It could do the trick.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;At home spend more 1 to 1 time.  In twenty years working with hundreds of families, I swear by this simple strategy.   Most of us spend a lot of time around our kids,  and very little time getting into their world,  connecting.   So, 1 to 1 time is about being present,  focused,  uninterrupted,  1 to 1 interaction with your child for 10 minutes (min) twice per day.  No cell,  no electronic devices.   Be present,  be curious,  be there with your head and body. Suggestion... spend some 1 to 1 time before school in the morning. Tell him how you would love to do this again in the evening or later.   Ask him what kind of activity he might like to do later.  Tell him how you're looking forward to it. This will help you be proactive.  Be consistent with both strategies.  Please let me know how you made out of if you have more questions or comments.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T16:08:32.517" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26778" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26774" CreationDate="2016-08-09T17:48:02.083" Score="11" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm at a loss as to why he's crying in the morning, when he apparently really likes it there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because toddlers are highly compressed balls of contradictory emotions which change on a dime and all of which feel unbelievably intense to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In that moment I am sure that's exactly what he feels: he wants to stay with you. So he cries. Then shortly after you're gone and it's not an option any more, he has fun. It's identical to this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sometimes when I want to pick him up in the afternoon, he even tells me he wants to stay and play a little more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am happy right now, don't change anything!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem isn't the emotion or whether he has fun once he accepts that he's there, it's the pivot. So you need to focus on making that handoff with less misery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every kid is different, but for my similarly aged son we focus almost immediately on talking about the day and what's coming. Nine times out of ten he says some variety of &lt;em&gt;I don't want to go to school.&lt;/em&gt; We say &lt;em&gt;you have to,&lt;/em&gt; without any real heat or making a big deal about it and go on with the morning routine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While we do so we talk about his day. Do you think you will see your friend Mason? Are you more excited about puzzles or time in the playground? Today is art day! Are you going to paint or use crayons? What do you think is for lunch today? None of it really matters other than to communicate &lt;em&gt;this is what's going to happen&lt;/em&gt; and to put a positive spin on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T17:48:02.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26779" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26760" CreationDate="2016-08-09T18:44:19.107" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you need to avoid giving him all the hugs and physical affection he desires. People of all ages are capable of being more adventurous when they feel secure. Providing physical reassurance isn't going to prevent him from being independent; doing things for him rather than letting him try them himself will.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2882" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T18:44:19.107" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26780" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26696" CreationDate="2016-08-09T20:16:29.017" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a lot going on here.  Children are constantly making decisions about themselves,  their world,  and how they can work on that world.   They have an innate need for significance and belonging.  Significance comes from capabilities, from working things out,  from having a voice and being heard,  from being involved in what happens to them,  and from making choices and contributing.  Belonging comes from connection,  socialization, family, being involved usefully, and the message of love. &quot;Love,  is the completion of the law&quot; as they say.  Because these needs are his human needs, he will get them.   Positively,  or negatively,  he will get them. Misbehavior is communication.  In fact, we  cannot not communicate.  He's communicating that he's discouraged.   His misbehavior,  imagine with me for a moment,  is telling you, &quot;I'm a child,  and I need to feel significant, I need to belong,  I'm not clear on how to do that right now. Can you help me?&quot; Now,  because you're obviously a mom that wants the best for her kid,  and are doing the best you can with the limited resources you are aware of,  you're here saying &quot;yes baby,  mama will help you!!&quot; &#xA;First things first,  have a conversation with your ex,  and agree with him that you can both focus on a single effective parenting style.  Agree that your child's needs far outweigh any animosity either of you may have.   Agree that though you may not be together, you can still parent collaboratively,  because your son has the right to feel significant and to feel belonging.  Agree to work together.   Keep notebook to communicate if  your unable to do so by phone productively.   Share any materials,  literature,  or information you may have with each other.   Focus on your boy,  talk about him, and let your actions and behaviors communicate that to each other,  but most of all, to him. &#xA;Second,  get on one plan.  Forego any discouragement,  negativity,  or  pain.  Leave behind punishment,  and seek encouragement strategies.   &quot;No blame no shame no pain&quot; , Jane Nelson,  the internationally renowned author would say in her many parenting books.   She has been my teacher(now esteemed colleague) for twenty years and I have worked with hundreds and hundreds of families all over the world.  Though, I would likely recommend an evaluation to rule out any learning delay or disability, I would transform the Parenting experience you currently live for sure.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Third,  seek out a Certified Parent Educator and Parenting Coach to guide you and your ex with research based parenting help.   There's so much that you can do right now to help your son,  together.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Four, here's the part that gets your head spinning.   Start this out with an apology to your child.   Not because you are to blame,  or to cause you guilt,  or  despair. More so to mark a new moment of mutual respect, a new choice,  a new plan.   &quot;honey,  I wanted to speak to you because I RECOGNIZE that things are probably hard on you, and can be confusing.   I feel the same way and I ADMIT that yelling,  spanking,  or punishing you,  haven't been the best way to show you how to do things,  or to help you learn.   I'm APOLOGIZING because, though I never wanted to,  I can see my  choices have hurt,  and  I want to tell you that I'm going with a new PLAN.  (R. A. A. P.)  From now on,  I won't yell,  or  punish you.  I am going to learn a better way to be the best parent I can be for both of us. I am taking classes to do that.  I will need your help,  and I may make mistakes,  but I know that together,  we will be ok. &quot; I love you&quot; hug it out.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Now,  begin by simply spending undivided 1 to 1 time with him for 10-15 minutes twice per day, every day doing what he loves to do,  present,  focused,  undistracted by cell,  cooking,  laundry,  bills,.   Be there with him,  connecting.   Do this everyday.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;At a neutral calm time tell your boy  that you know how it feels to be angry, in a calm voice, tell him that you've felt angry before,  tell him that its ok to be angry but not ok to hurt others or destroy things.   Brainstorm different solutions that are other alternatives to handling anger (taking a walk,  drawing,  singing,  jumping up and down,  telling someone,  going to a quiet space,  pillow fight,  hammering pegs,  etc.) Then make a wheel he can choose from.   Now time role play it.   Role play a couple of times.   Make a copy of the wheel for school,  or that he can carry with him.   Laminated picture Cards on a ring would work too. &#xA;Last but not least,  model the behaviors you want your son to imitate.  One of those is disconnecting. The next time things get hot,  remove any danger,  without a word,  then disconnect by telling him that you're going to your quiet space.   Tell him that you can talk about solutions when you can both be respectful (and that means not screaming).&lt;br&gt;&#xA;This is all like learning a new language.   It takes practice,  laugh when you do something awkward or silly,  and learn from mistakes.   There is no failure only feedback.   You choose,  you always have.  Best to you and your family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T20:16:29.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26723" CreationDate="2016-08-09T20:20:52.453" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age I was breastfeeding my son. He would wake up multiple times a night even though he couldn't have been hungry that many times! It was time to wean him gradually. First we worked on getting him to sleep on his own. Then we worked on eliminating night wakeups.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the first part, I would put him into his crib, go through the nighttime routine and then leave the room. Of course he cried. After 4-5 minutes I'd go back in to reassure him for 30 seconds but did not pick him up. I left the room. Crying resumed, waited 5 minutes, and repeated the reassuring. After three times, he'd fall asleep. After 3 nights he did not even cry when we put him in initially. It really works that fast, if you're consistent. It may sound cruel but you are teaching your baby a valuable life skill and that's worth everything, in my opinion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that baby knows how to fall asleep, it's time to eliminate wakeups in the middle of the night. I knew that during the day he can go just fine with 3-4 hours between feedings (even though I fed him after 2-3 hours). So I set a time limit of 4 hours. If four hours elapsed since his last feeding, I went and nursed him. If it was less than 4 hours (even 3.5 hours) I did what I used to do for falling asleep at bedtime. Let him cry for up to 5 minutes. After a few nights of this, he was down to waking up just once in the early AM hours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just keep in mind that an exclusively breastfed baby may be hungry at night. Although I don't know if you're giving your baby real solids yet. At that age, my son barely ate any real foods and his diet was 85% breastmilk. So I made sure to feed him more often in the day so I knew he got his calories by day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T20:20:52.453" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26782" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26774" CreationDate="2016-08-09T22:59:43.107" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Are you carrying you child into the classroom? We have found that holding the kids hand and helping them walk into the classroom helps them disengage easier than carrying the kids and handing them off or putting them down at the classroom door.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2776" LastActivityDate="2016-08-09T22:59:43.107" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26687" CreationDate="2016-08-10T15:25:05.760" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing to check is if the seat straps are truly tight. Obviously, you don't want to totally squash him in there; however, if your whole hand fits between his body and the straps, they need to be tighter. A rule of thumb for confirming strap tightness is if you can slip two fingers (index and middle) between his body and the straps. If you can &lt;em&gt;easily&lt;/em&gt; do that, make the straps tighter, if you can't do that at all, make them a bit looser. When you are tightening the straps, always make sure he is fully leaned back in his seat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Along the lines of ensuring his straps are tight enough, be sure whatever he is wearing is what he will have on for the duration of the trip. If he has clothing - such as a large coat - that he removes during the trip, be sure and adjust the straps afterward. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his straps are indeed sufficiently tight; your next step will be to simply find a way to adjust his position. Use a neck pillow (one of the ones mentioned in another answer) or just a super thin one. If you would prefer not to use any type of pillow, a folded towel or blanket may be used. You may need to experiment with positioning a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his straps are loose, that is indeed a safety hazard. Should you be involved in a car accident he could be ejected from the seat. However, if he has just found a way to be a bit &quot;slippery in his seat&quot; or beat the system, I wouldn't worry about it. If you were to be involved in an accident with him in that position with properly tightened straps, he will have the same injuries whether he was sitting bolt-upright or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Above all, if nothing else works, keep in mind that children are super flexible and the chances of him ending with any form of long-term injury are very low. If you are still concerned, you can contact your local fire or health department and see if they will do a car seat inspection for you. Some states here in the US require all fire departments to have at least one certified car seat inspector on staff during regular business hours. Typically, this will be a free inspection; however, if there is a fee associated with it, expect it to be very low. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastActivityDate="2016-08-10T15:25:05.760" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26766" CreationDate="2016-08-11T00:41:41.373" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds good.   Here's an interesting technique that I believe could help here.   When he goes off, be near and tell him that you need a hug. If no response,  repeat, &quot;I NEED A HUG&quot;, and wait,  if no response,  do it a third time,  I need a hug.  If still no,  tell him you will be waiting when he's ready for a hug. AND give him his space.  You could also role play at home different pretend scenarios where he could help you with your &quot;boom&quot;.   Appeal to his inner helper.   Take turns treating each other.   Great activity to take ten minutes together, uninterrupted,  focused.. to play together. Best to you and your family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-08-11T00:41:41.373" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26792" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-11T14:16:45.987" Score="4" ViewCount="2023" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm having a 4th birthday party for my daughter, and invited about 8 girls out of 40 or so kids from her Kindergarden class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Today I received a text from a girl's mum, saying that they lost the invitation and can she &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RSVP&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;RSVP&lt;/a&gt; with me.  Problem is that her daughter was not invited in the first place, and they must have found out from someone else, and think that it's a 'whole class party'. My daughter doesn't want her daughter to be there as they do not really play together.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do we just invite them to make this whole thing go away, or stand our ground and let them know that they were not invited? If so, how to put it gently? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24045" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-07-30T12:14:13.717" LastActivityDate="2019-07-30T12:14:13.717" Title="How to react to a girl's mum inviting themselves to my daughter's party?" Tags="|pre-schooler|communication|birthday|party|etiquette|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26792" CreationDate="2016-08-11T14:41:32.743" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just tell her simply:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We have planned to have a small party with my daughter's close friends, and so we did not invite the whole class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Where to take it from there is up to you. If this girl and your daughter truly don't play together, the other mother should be reasonable enough to understand that her daughter is not a close friend. There may also be a cultural element here. Is it common for parents to bring treats to class for their child's birthday? If you plan to do so, you can add:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your daughter is of course welcome to join the rest of the class in celebrating my daughter's birthday at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That together with the above should make it clear that they are not invited to your daughter's personal birthday party, but if you don't have the second bit then you may wish to add one more statement to make it perfectly clear:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your daughter was not invited because of the limited number of guests we're comfortable accommodating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should feel no obligation to invite anyone to a party which you host.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4481" LastActivityDate="2016-08-11T14:41:32.743" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26534" CreationDate="2016-08-11T17:28:49.543" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have brought up 3 bilingual kids in Norwegian (mothers language) and English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We chose to do 100% Norwegian for the first years, will just some basic words in English and then &quot;switch&quot; to a more heavily English favoured home environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our kids have been different in their language development. One was fluent in English at 4, the other was just beginning. The main thing we tried not to do was push English before they were ready. You're the best judge of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once they are ready, perhaps they have a good grasp of grammar in their &quot;first&quot; language, a great way to make strides and bounds in English is 100% immersion - change the kids TV to English, story books in English, and have both parents talk in English 100% at home, if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting them to speak English with other people requires more confidence. So re-assure them and practice English whenever possible with other people - family, friends, even the cashier in the store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A great tip to get them so speak English, when you know they can but don't have the confidence, is when they want something. Imagine you're in the store, about to buy some candy - there's a good chance you can get your child to ask the cashier &quot;can I buy this candy please&quot; if you help them. (not suggesting you need to buy candy every day, but you get the idea...). Congratulate them when they speak well in English (positive reinforcement) and their confidence will grow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-08-11T17:28:49.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26797" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26758" CreationDate="2016-08-11T20:01:09.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The male urethra is a lot longer than the female, for obvious reasons. It runs under the area just below the scrotum, so a squeeze starting there and working upwards (avoid the testicles) can extract the last few drops that will otherwise come out later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-08-11T20:01:09.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26799" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-11T22:53:20.683" Score="-3" ViewCount="266" Body="&lt;p&gt;Her poop problem worries me too much. I do not know what to do, or how to start and look for what might help her. My baby is in pain. This is so sad watching her holding, and sometimes I beat her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24051" LastEditorUserId="32672" LastEditDate="2022-02-16T06:05:33.313" LastActivityDate="2022-02-16T06:05:33.313" Title="My 3-year old baby girl has been holding in her poop since she was young. What can I do?" Tags="|family-planning|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26800" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26799" CreationDate="2016-08-11T23:22:06.990" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old used to do that when he was 3 or 4. He had some really painful bowl movements for a couple days from something (cheese/not enough water?), and after that was really scared to go. Which, of course, made it even more painful because of holding it in. He did this for quite a while. We ended up giving him some stool softener for a few months so he could get it through his head that it really didn't hurt most of the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22012" LastActivityDate="2016-08-11T23:22:06.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26801" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8717" CreationDate="2016-08-11T23:58:43.600" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well my child understands shots. By 4yrs old they understand lots. I just told my daughter that since she was turning 4yrs old she had to get a shot and she just ask were would they give it and will these hurt. She is able to tell you what the allergy MD does and the regular MD. She even asks me if this time at the dentist  is xray time because she doesnt like the xray. I think its all about conversation. Sit, explain and let them tell you how they feel and answer any questions with the truth. She tells me shots hurt but only for a minute. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24052" LastActivityDate="2016-08-11T23:58:43.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24186" CreationDate="2016-08-12T11:53:08.260" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, you can begin with Family Meetings.&#xA;Family Meetings: (15 to 30 minutes a week for one of the most powerful parenting tools your family can use)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Family Meeting Process:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Compliments&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Establish positive atmosphere and tone&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids learn to look for the “good” and appreciate family members&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Each member compliments all the other members of the family&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids fight less when they feel more gratitude towards other family&#xA;members&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reduce negative tension by verbalizing positive comments&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Evaluate last week’s solutions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Did solutions help resolve challenges?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try something else from the list you made the previous week&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This week’s challenges (challenges, issues, questions)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Focus on Solutions&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Respectful&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Related&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reasonable&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Helpful&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Revealed and decided in Advance&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Weekly Calendar&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Meetings, Practices, Rehearsals, Rides, Special Assignments etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Meal Planning&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Allowance&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Additional Needs (e. g. Materials for School)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Establish Recorder, Chairperson, Time Keeper for next week’s meeting&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Family togetherness event planning&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Plan an event that the family will do together (e. g. Family Vacation,&#xA;Family Picnic or BBQ, Family Excursion)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Family Fun&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Always end the family meeting with a group activity (e. g. Family&#xA;exercise, Dance party, Basketball game, Dessert or Treat etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please don’t expect perfection. It’s normal to have a bumpy start when beginning to implement family meetings. Avoid using family meetings for lectures, or establishing control, or placing blame. Maintain the atmosphere of mutual respect throughout the meeting. Keep the family meetings to no more than 30 minutes to help maintain focus of all family members. Rotate the family meeting job schedule.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can begin this process by simply stating that the fighting is making you and your husband very sad and upset, because you wish that your kids could communicate peacefully. From now on, tell them that you won't get involved in their fights. You're going to tell them that they are old enough to find solutions to their challenges together. So the way for you to handle the fighting will be to stand around and not get involved in any way, or leave the area telling them that you have faith that they will find a solution together and that they can handle it, OR, that they can take the fight elsewhere... Like outside, and come back when they've found a solution, OR, that they can put it on the family meeting agenda and the family will confer and make a decision to try for the whole week until the next family meeting. Have this conversation at a neutral time when there is no fighting going on. Say it calmly, say it firmly, say it kindly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you speak to your kids, whether yours or his, speak to them as a unit.   Instead of singling out any one, get used to saying &quot;you kids&quot;. Agree to do this with your husband. A good way to stop having to figure out what punishment you will impose on who, is to stop punishing altogether. You can begin to use real logical consequences, natural consequences, limited choices, family meetings,  follow through, and much more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's a ton more information you can get from reading &lt;em&gt;Positive Discipline&lt;/em&gt;, by Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott, 2013. &#xA;Work with a Certified Parent Educator and Positive Parenting Coach like who &#xA;can guide you through the process in person or by phone. &#xA;Attend a Positive Parenting workshop for Effective Discipline (Positive Discipline).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Family Meetings give every member in the family a voice, and submits challenges for the family to resolve. &#xA;Good start to get the results you are looking for. Best to you and your family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:03:41.640" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:03:41.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26804" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26792" CreationDate="2016-08-12T16:57:44.293" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would encourage you to welcome this kid into the party.  By doing so, you could teach your child the value of being inclusive even towards people we do not hit it off with.  This other child might be feeling left out and might have even told her parent that she was invited.  Or the parent might be feeling like her child is being left out and trying to look out for her by putting you in a position that is a little awkward, but that gives you the chance to extend grace.&lt;P&gt;&#xA;I come from a culture that tends to be very inclusive, very group oriented.  Inviting several people out of a group, means inviting the whole group, and you just better be prepared.  But I have lived most of my life in the US, where the expectation is that you only go to a party if you are explicitly invited.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;I find that the group oriented culture, in this factor, has a lot of positive value. I have used that to teach my children to be kind and welcoming even to kids that they would not normally gravitate towards.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;You have a great chance here to teach your child grace and kindness to someone that may be feeling left out.  I suggest you take it.  A word of caution, if you do choose to extend this grace to the other child, the truly gracious thing to do is to not say a word about it to either the other child's parent or the other child.  And you will need to make sure your child understands that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T16:57:44.293" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26514" CreationDate="2016-08-12T17:38:11.693" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes, if we try too hard to soothe and ease all their emotional reactions, we wind up reinforcing them.  Having your undivided attention and energy, as a child, is obviously preferable to not, and if kicking up a fuss makes you go to great lengths to &quot;fix&quot; that, then they get rewarded for it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not to say it's an intentional thing.  Maybe they don't like the idea of being alone, but, as with all unknown or new things, they will resist at first, but acclimate if they have to.  If they are able to get you to acquiesce instead of having to deal with that new experience, then they'll keep doing so, or even escalate.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents sometimes just need to develop a thicker skin about the kids being upset.  They're kids, they get upset quite easily, but they also get over stuff very quickly.  It's the upside to having the attention span of a child.  We just have to fight our protective instincts when we know it's just about being upset vs protecting them from harm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2016-08-15T20:19:52.830" LastActivityDate="2016-08-15T20:19:52.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26718" CreationDate="2016-08-12T17:43:52.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A suggestion - If your four-year old is very familiar with the story (as they often are from when they were that age, or from having to hear the same ones) or is beginning to read, herself, have give her a chunk of the story-telling role for the two-year-old's selections. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, instead of having to sit through the annoying brother's &quot;little kid&quot; story, she's getting big-kid responsibility and participation and she's helping her mom or dad, which is pretty darn &lt;strong&gt;AWESOME&lt;/strong&gt; for a four year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another suggestion - every once in a while (don't want to cut down on reading), instead of having them pick a book, tell some familiar myth or fairy tale, but with your kids as main characters in them (along with maybe a favorite stuffed animal or two), and, once you lay out the general theme or introduction to the story, have them interact and change the story as it goes.  More silliness is generally better for made up stories starring your kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2016-08-12T17:49:28.350" LastActivityDate="2016-08-12T17:49:28.350" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26807" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26808" CreationDate="2016-08-12T19:08:49.010" Score="2" ViewCount="690" Body="&lt;p&gt;Someone I know who is 16 but can’t read or write properly and is failing in school. Appears to have difficulty making conversations. Exhibit child-like characteristics; cries when being yelled at or not given what they asked for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They Don't have any friends, spends their majority of time watching cartoons and playing games. their overall behavior is as if they are 10 - 12.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It doesn't look like they have a mental issue or development problems as far as I can see. What can I do to help them get out of this situation and grow up to fit his age? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried giving them some interests and tasks to do to change their routine, but they only care for a while and go back to their usual behaviors. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="anon" LastEditorDisplayName="anon" LastEditDate="2020-03-10T17:08:37.883" LastActivityDate="2020-03-10T20:01:33.590" Title="How do I help a person i know grow up?" Tags="|development|teen|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26808" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26807" CreationDate="2016-08-12T20:37:43.640" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;From your description, this person should receive some professional care sooner rather than later! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, that is up to their parents, not you. The best you can probably do is to convince their parents to seek help for his learning problems. Try to convince them it could make life better for all three of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You won't get a diagnosis from a site like this, but being unable to read and acting like a 8-10 year old at 16 sounds very much like they have some developmental impairment. The younger therapy starts with that, the more chances of them learning at least how to function better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The person's parents seem to be in denial over this or simply completely unaware that there is more going on than their child being stupid or lazy. Talking to their parents in a non-judgemental way is the only way to find out. Remember that they are likely under immense stress from dealing with their child all day, so don't be too harsh on their anger and frustration. Ask them about their own experience and feeling and see if they are open to getting help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on where you live, you have a last resort of calling the local variety of Child Protective Services. This is really a nuclear option though and may destroy any trust the parents have in you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastEditorUserId="24055" LastEditDate="2020-03-10T20:01:33.590" LastActivityDate="2020-03-10T20:01:33.590" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8674" CreationDate="2016-08-13T06:14:24.930" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First thing I'd do about door slamming. You have a screw driver take off that door it's your door you pay for it. She can have it back when she learns to close it properly. I'd say start with 24 hrs and then put it back on. Probably won't have to do that again. My parents did it to me for 2 days. I never slammed the door ever again. It's really hard I understand when you run out of things or feel like you have. Actually having problems with an 11 yr old now kicking walls and screaming and stomping feet. Not sure what to do or what might help. The freaking out seems to be really about nothing and hard to understand.  Any tips let me know&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24060" LastActivityDate="2016-08-13T06:14:24.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26698" CreationDate="2016-08-13T12:23:49.750" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Times may have changed, but you are yourself. She is a visitor at your home, which is a privilege that can be taken away, and not a right. She should learn that when you interact with people, it's not just your own opinion that counts, but the other person's opinion as well, and behaviour has consequences. Now you are not her mother and don't have to teach her that (although you are your son's mother and should teach &lt;em&gt;him&lt;/em&gt;), but there are no reasons why you should accept what you perceive as rude. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should talk to your son again. If his argument is &quot;times have changed&quot;, you just say &quot;I think it is rude, and that's a fact. It doesn't matter whether you say times have changed, I think it's rude, and what I think is what matters to me. And I don't accept what I think is rude in my home. So tell her, and she either changes her behaviour, or you meet somewhere else&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not as if you are causing any hardship to the young couple. Instead you show them a reality of life: That if you annoy people, they will annoy you back, and that if you are polite, things will go a lot smoother for you. If not saying &quot;Hello&quot; is caused by shyness, then doing it &lt;em&gt;when asked to do it&lt;/em&gt; is the easiest way to overcome the shyness. If not saying &quot;Hello&quot; is caused by disinterest or rudeness, then it is good to learn that sometimes you need to do things that you are not interested in, or that sometimes you can't be rude, in order to get what you want. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And practicing to act &lt;em&gt;as if you were polite&lt;/em&gt; even though you don't want to has the effect that eventually you &lt;em&gt;become&lt;/em&gt; more polite). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastActivityDate="2016-08-13T12:23:49.750" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26807" CreationDate="2016-08-13T14:30:43.607" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like it requires a multidimensional approach,  across various disciplines.   This boys parents should also work with a Parenting Coach and Educator along with the school, special instruction/education, Speech Language Pathology, and reading specialist.   I find it strange that this boy is 16 and didn't receive any services.  With such characteristics the question is who was neglectful, not if. This case requires a major Intervention, and time is of the essence because by the time this boy is 18, his challenges are his problem and his alone.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-08-13T14:30:43.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26812" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11515" CreationDate="2016-08-13T20:29:54.977" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know I am late to this discussion but really wanted to pass this tip along. I has worked for anyone I have told that has tried it and a nurse on a pediatric ward of a hospital. Follow with peanut butter, takes the taste away immediately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24066" LastActivityDate="2016-08-13T20:29:54.977" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26815" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15086" CreationDate="2016-08-14T21:23:20.787" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Teach your kids right all the parts of their body&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I loved that argument:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Tell her the correct names for her body parts, and use them every time. Don't&#xA;  use nicknames to refer to her genitals. This teaches her that her body is&#xA;  something to be hidden or masked. Correct terminology helps her to&#xA;  understand and embrace her body without reservations or shame&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://media.oprah.com/lberman/talking-to-kids-about-sex-handbook.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://media.oprah.com/lberman/talking-to-kids-about-sex-handbook.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24072" LastEditorUserId="24072" LastEditDate="2016-08-19T11:40:05.577" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T11:40:05.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26514" CreationDate="2016-08-15T14:46:36.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to add the perspective of one who was once a child who was very scared for what must have seemed like no reason at all. I don't know whether it will help, but my situation was similar (although to some extent less severe, I would sleep in my own room although I was actually afraid to do so) to that described by the OP. I would not willingly go upstairs by myself even during the day, once in bed I would not get out again until morning unless someone was with me etc&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a child I had a recurring nightmare about monsters which lived under my bed. This I believe is not unusual for small children. What made mine somewhat different is that I have also always suffered from very occasional episodes of sleep paralysis &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis&lt;/a&gt;, usually when very overtired or ill. When I say very occasional, I mean it has happened maybe 5 or 6 times in my life, but even now that I understand what it is, it's terrifying. As a child, I believed it was the monsters &quot;visiting&quot; me, and as a consequence nothing my parents could say or do would convince me they weren't real. I KNEW there were monsters under my bed, they had spoken to me and I had felt one put its hand on my chest while I was &quot;awake&quot; (this is a common halucination associated with sleep paralysis) they were just always hiding when my Daddy looked for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my case I eventually grew out of my nightmares (there was a defined last dream where the presence of the monster made me realise I was dreaming, turning the nightmare into a lucid dream in which I drove them away, never to return) and convinced myself that the monsters probably weren't real after all, or at least had left or not followed us to our new house when we moved. It was years later when I saw a documentary on sleep paralysis that I realised exactly what I had experienced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that this is the cause for every child who has this kind of phase, but just consider that what may seem rather silly to you as an adult, may seem very very real and utterly terrifying to a child who does not understand and lacks the words and confidence to express what they have experienced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14933" LastEditorUserId="14933" LastEditDate="2016-08-15T15:23:16.113" LastActivityDate="2016-08-15T15:23:16.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26514" CreationDate="2016-08-15T15:14:15.257" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (now 10) had this same problem and still does to a lesser extent. I can only speak from my own experience, but I believe it had to do with stuff going on inside her own head. She has a great imagination, like all kids and scares herself with thinking there are ghosts in the closet or under the bed. &#xA;My husband and I never permitted sleeping in our bed, so this wasn't even considered. But she did cry sometimes. We would just soothe her and then leave her alone with a hallway light on dim. &#xA;She is still scared sometimes, but nothing major or often. I think your child will grow out of it. But I think if you let her sleep in your bed it will take longer. I may be wrong, just a gut feeling that kids will get away with what you let them get away with. Good luck with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24075" LastActivityDate="2016-08-15T15:14:15.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26822" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="15086" CreationDate="2016-08-15T15:16:50.693" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is a personal preference, but we do not use pet names. My parents did and I think all it did was make us embarrassed to use the proper words as we got older. All along we have been using the proper names for everything. Our daughter is very comfortable talking about body parts. Again, just a personal preference, I think. Good luck with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24075" LastActivityDate="2016-08-15T15:16:50.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26824" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-16T06:31:33.497" Score="15" ViewCount="41445" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our three-year-old boy who has been sleeping between my wife and me is becoming a problem. I know we need to transition him to his own bed and we will go through that process in the near future. We have been trying for a while but he ends up coming to our bed again. We will keep trying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime while he is sleeping or half asleep he kicks and hits us. In some cases he is half awake and will take aim at our faces. Mostly it is random. This wasn't really an issue in the past.  It has become a problem in the past few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could this be a symptom of something else? Does anyone else experience this and can they give some advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24080" LastEditorUserId="1920" LastEditDate="2016-08-17T19:56:47.247" LastActivityDate="2016-08-18T20:18:22.993" Title="3-year-old boy co-sleeps: kicks and hits us in sleep" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26825" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-16T07:04:16.027" Score="20" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say that's entirely normal at that age, and not a lot you can do about it (short of getting him his own space).  Any time our 3 year old comes into our bed (after a nightmare or just having trouble sleeping), this is what we expect.  In his own bed he'd do roughly the same thing (except that nobody would be the victim).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What he's doing is a combination of getting comfortable, feeling for his boundaries, and the kind of automatic reactions that some people and animals have while dreaming; if you've ever heard the phrase &quot;puppy dream&quot; that refers to something like this, where the puppy dreams of running around so he moves his limbs (though I'm not sure if it's truly tied to the dreaming or not, that is the folklore).  Toddlers are quite similar in that regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only suggestion I have other than moving him to his own space is to see if he's less mobile when either warmer or colder.  Either one may cause more activity, either to try and find a warmer space (like, next to you) or to try and move away from a warmer space (kicking you to get away).  Adjust his temperature and see what helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T07:04:16.027" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26826" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26829" CreationDate="2016-08-16T12:54:47.973" Score="2" ViewCount="229" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just to be clear: this is not a big problem, I am just curious about a funny behaviour :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 13 months old now and I sometimes sleep next to her at night. This can happen when for example we spend the night in a hotel were no cradles are available, so we book an extra bed and we put them all together. This way, she has a full grown-up person bed for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, during the night she will sleep tight but somehow moving back and forth, rolling, twisting, etc. Every time I check she will be in a completely new position, so I may have her foot next to my head but half an hour later she will be at the bottom of the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand this like as: if I had a bed on this proportion (4x4 meters with no boundaries) I would move this much, because involuntary movement during the night would not find limits and my body would just go on doing them. But still, I am not sure if this is right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So: is this absolutely random movement normal during the night? I assume there is no problem on it, but just in case: is it good for her?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14546" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T14:57:40.253" Title="Why do babies move this much when sleeping?" Tags="|toddler|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26827" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-16T13:03:31.893" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My only advice is him having his own cot.  My son always had his own cot, starting with a Moses basket and scaling up from there.  It's a bit late for that with your boy though!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One obvious suggestion is to move him from being between you to being on one side.  A side guard will stop him falling out, and a bolster cushion between you and him will ensure he has a defined space of his own but is still close enough to you to not be worried.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14637" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T13:03:31.893" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26828" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-16T14:47:07.177" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds like you might want to wear a hockey mask to bed though ;) &lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Yn39e.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Yn39e.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt; errr...Maybe not :) hah!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have 'co-slept' with all of our 4 children and they all had moments like this. Eventually they transitioned to their own beds without too much of a hassle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thought, our bed is big but trying to pile in 6 people on a king bed doesn't really work too well so we did have a couple of small mattresses that we would pull out, &lt;em&gt;trundle&lt;/em&gt; style. You could maybe try that and see if he does ok just sleeping on that instead of in between.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24086" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T14:47:07.177" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26829" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26826" CreationDate="2016-08-16T14:57:40.253" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes its TOTALLY normal. We have 'co-slept' with all of our 4 kids and it is always funny to see what position they're going to end up in. One moment their little head is right next to yours...a couple hours later you might have a foot in your mouth :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/nthC6.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/nthC6.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure you already know, but the biggest danger for her is you. If you move around a lot during the night I would think very carefully about whether its worth the risk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24086" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T14:57:40.253" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26830" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26392" CreationDate="2016-08-16T15:18:10.150" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a somewhat difficult situation since you would prefer not to purchase a travel system or a baby carrier (that you wear). It is best that a child lie flat in the stroller; however, if this child is indeed born with reflux as you mention the other children have been, you're not going to want to lay him/her back fully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Strollers that adjust to a completely flat position are often quite expensive. That being said, somethings you could try would be yes, lying the child back as far as possible and then ensuring s/he has head support with a blanket or some such. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you don't have a huge issue with buying some one else's things, go to a resale shop or garage sale and start looking around - the strollers will be cheaper than new and depending on the style and number of children it transported, may be nearly unused. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Wearing&quot; your baby looks like it is really your best option overall, the child will be close to you, you can support the head beautifully and reflux will not be nearly as big of an issue because s/he will be upright. However, I know this option likely isn't practical in some situations! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are two links you may find helpful, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/stroller-safety/art-20043967?pg=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Mayo Clinic stroller safety tips&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/august-2010-babies/topic/flat-recline-importance-infant.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;What to Expect - forum question&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this is helpful to you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2016-08-17T12:05:18.160" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T12:05:18.160" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-16T15:21:33.393" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have had all the kids in our bed, the newer kicks out the older until this one who like your child is the most physical sleeper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's just the way it is. When he or she is ready they will move out. We sell her on the idea of &quot;sleepovers&quot; with her sisters on the weekend and slowly she is moving in with them. We make it a little slumber party, she has yet to stay a full night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day i think, It's dark, they are scared sometimes. I can't protect them from the evils of the world but i can make a small child feel secure. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the relationship down the road will be better too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24087" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T15:21:33.393" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26832" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26514" CreationDate="2016-08-16T15:24:09.500" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh poor thing. Its so hard to see your child frightened like that -and frustrating to :). All of our kids around that age became SUPER imaginative. Which can be good, but depending on what your kids are watching, what's happening in the home, and how they are feeling about themselves - this wild imagination can invent some pretty scary scenarios. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son, as a 4 year old, unfortunately saw &quot;Home Alone&quot; while playing at a friends house and he was never the same. Seems silly, but for him the idea that robbers would come into the house and try to get him became VERY real. So maybe keep an eye on what your 5 year old is watching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter around the same age witnessed her grandfather die and it made her very scared to leave our side. She worried that if she did it might be the last time she saw us. It took her a LONG time to get over that fear and it was VERY difficult to even leave her at school, or dance, or to play at a friends. One thing we did that seemed to help was giving her something to hold on to that she knew we would have to come back for. To a child security is everything. So maybe try leaving a personal item with her - your watch, for instance, or a piece of jewelry and tell her you'll be back for it in the morning. Supposedly this helps them develop a sense of continuity throughout the night and establish a feeling of direct connection with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are likely dozens of other things that could be going on in her little head. This is a difficult scenario for sure. You do definitely want her to learn to face her fear and work through it. So I wouldn't pander to it, but you must also have loads of patience and offer encouragement like you never have before. Build her up so that she thinks she is the queen of the world and capable of everything. You obviously already done the potty training bit, so you know that a little encouragement goes a long ways. Encourage her in everything and reward her for the small progress she makes as she gains her bravery back. Breaking a cycle of fear is difficult even for adults so be loving and celebrate her progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24086" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T15:24:09.500" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-16T16:37:52.910" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's nothing wrong with your child - three year olds can be real jerks. It's just one of many iterative phases growing up and learning healthy boundaries. Part of getting him to stay in his own bed will be telling him no and not backing down about it. (This teaches him how to appropriately handle when being told no.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22119" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T16:37:52.910" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-16T17:02:31.693" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Younger kids do tend to kick when they're asleep, I did this when I was younger too, it's not specific to certain kids. However, if the kicking does generally become a problem to you, you may want to make him have a 'dream diary' to see what your children are dreaming about, if it's nightmares or just if they're very physical. However, a good thing to note is to make your children relaxed before bed. Are they generally hyperactive before climbing into bed? Try a warm bath without any toys or a milk bottle, maybe a gentle story. &#xA;On the note of moving your children out of your bed, I would suggest a mattress in their siblings room, or your room, just so that they're still with you and can stumble into your bed in case of a bad dream or something of the like. If they are &lt;em&gt;scared&lt;/em&gt;  of sleeping alone, get them a night light, maybe a teddy bear or a soft action figure. I know as children grow, they may start to feel immature, but they will eventually grow out of it, you don't want a lanky, pubescent thirteen year old curling up to you at night!&#xA;If the restlessness during the day and night &lt;em&gt;truly&lt;/em&gt; becomes a problem, seek advice from your GP.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24089" LastActivityDate="2016-08-16T17:02:31.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26835" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26841" CreationDate="2016-08-16T20:54:15.860" Score="4" ViewCount="11467" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4-year-old daughter just turned 4 and just started Pre-K. She can count to 10 and recognize 0-10 written on a board, with really no issues whatsoever. However, we've been working with her for half an hour to just learn the numbers &lt;code&gt;11, 12, 13, 14, 15&lt;/code&gt; and she still can't do it by herself. Specifically, it's taken her almost that entire time to just recognize what &lt;code&gt;13&lt;/code&gt; is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her sister, 13 months younger, can count to 20 with very little help though. We do all of the same activities together -- so I'm wondering if &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;this is just normal differences between normal toddlers,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she's somewhat behind for her age, or maybe&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;her sister is just a faster learner when it comes to counting.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyone else have experience with what skills a 4-year-old should have when it comes to memorization and numbers? We were thinking she should be able to count to 20 with no help, so we're trying to work with her more to get her there. Is 20 too high of a bar for a 4-year-old? (I assume not, since her sister does it, and is a year younger).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17178" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-19T12:21:00.773" LastActivityDate="2021-04-28T16:04:30.867" Title="What skills should a 4-year-old have when it comes to counting and memorizing numbers?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|math|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-17T01:24:11.773" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Set up his own own little bed right next to yours--like set up the room so it is: Wall -&gt; His little bed -&gt; Your bed and no gaps inbetween.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then refer to the little bed as his own. Make it sound fun and great that he gets his own bed. He'll take it it really quickly, especiall if the wall and your bed creates a little bit of a boundary for him to thrash around in in his sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Works for us and ours never comes into the big bed unless it's morning and he wants milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24096" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T01:24:11.773" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26835" CreationDate="2016-08-17T07:50:04.833" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 4 and a half and he only &lt;em&gt;just&lt;/em&gt; started counting up to 10. We're going to practise that for a while before we do 11-20.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In contrast his older sister could count to 20 already before she was 4. So, I wouldn't worry too much - kids develop at different speeds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my older daughter I noticed it was harder for her to learn 11 to 20 than it was for 1 to 10. It helped us to relate &quot;two&quot; to &quot;tw-elve&quot;, &quot;th-ree&quot; to &quot;th-irteen&quot; (working with the sounds), &quot;four&quot; to &quot;fourteen&quot;, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T07:50:04.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26840" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-17T07:50:25.320" Score="2" ViewCount="944" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2.5 years old, he's already talking simple sentences and tries to communicate with us (the parents): showing us a large bug, telling that a marker is orange and he wants it etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However when I (the father) try to spend time with him and teach him something he very quickly loses interest and wouldn't sit down to do stuff together like a jig-saw puzzle for kids ( 10-18 peaces ) or learn a child-song or even listen to me reading a children's book. Playing outdoors with a ball or a soft Frisbee get's no attention at all, he would not find joy in kicking the ball and go to his favorite slide or sandbox ( or chase pigeons ).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm working a lot and I only get to spend time with my son in the mornings ( I take him to the day-care ) and evenings 1h before he sleeps, this time is mostly occupied by feeding him and washing before sleep. And the whole weekend, although I don't feel that's enough. So I'm worried that it's not enough time that I get to spend together and I don't have enough chance to teach his something so we would have our own games that we enjoy and hopefully have a stronger bond.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just a few notes: my child is healthy both mentally and physically, my wife has about same time that she can spend with him as we both work; finally I don't have an issue the child not listening to me or not caring about us. It's just hard to teach his something that involves complex rules ( simple kick-the ball or jigsaw ). Finally, I did try to tire him out by playing by his rules, after about 2h I were completely out of strength, he was happy but wanted MORE since it was fun for him to get lifted/tickled chased after etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any tips how to engage a child with more intellectual activities? I really want him to learn at least first 5-10 letters of the alphabet and try to...&quot;draw&quot; them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24098" LastActivityDate="2023-03-27T12:26:24.897" Title="How to engage with a 2 year old who wouldn't sit still?" Tags="|toddler|activities|hyperactiveness|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26835" CreationDate="2016-08-17T08:21:38.060" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;All children are different, learn at different paces and are stronger in some things than others.  This is just the way things are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you may not realise is that the whole time you've been helping your now 4 year old to count, the younger one has been listening and absorbing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My two children (8 and 6) read at the same band of books and I think the 6yo would read at a higher level if the school let her.  She's picked it up so quickly because she's effectively been doing it for 2 years longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16168" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T08:21:38.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26840" CreationDate="2016-08-17T10:11:39.833" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son will learn much more if you join him at his level and follow his interests. Maybe he won't learn the Alphabet yet (and 2.5 is really early for that anyway), but he'll learn social and physical skills that are at least as important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 2.5 most children are just discovering the very basics of playing together and still mostly play alongside each other, so forget about agreeing on or following rules, that's still a bridge too far. Just go with the flow here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing I had some success with at that age was finding or returning objects in and around the house. It helps build vocabulary when you point to objects and name them, as well as act out using them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example: put two plates on the table, one with a bar of soap on it and a hairbrush next to it and the other with a book on it and pen next to it. Then propose that the two of you sit down to eat. This should elicit a loud protest and off you go, putting the objects back where they belong and getting the correct things to eat with from the kitchen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T10:11:39.833" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26843" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-17T10:31:15.193" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the past we had to sleep with daughter in same bed (for living in a caravan). We built at the time a wooden frame with soft coating that was placed over the bed and the child inside. Worked like a charm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24100" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T10:31:15.193" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26835" CreationDate="2016-08-17T11:59:14.603" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's school expects the kids to be able to have a good grasp of the numbers up to 20 by the time they are between five and six years old. This means that they should be able to recognize or write the numbers, and to easily be able to say which number comes next or before. Some kids can do simple arithmetic with addition and subtraction, and can halve or double a number as well. They start formally teaching them these numbers when they are between four and five years old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might be that your younger one indeed has a better memory capacity or greater cognitive skill or simply a thing for numbers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might also be that the younger one is memorising the words and visual signs for the numbers by heart (small kids are really good at this), whereas the older one realizes that there is some logical structure to the sequence of written numbers, and is trying to work it out. This is clearly the harder task, but once she gets it she should be able to extrapolate to even bigger numbers with greater ease than her little sister. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T11:59:14.603" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26847" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16166" CreationDate="2016-08-17T15:44:09.847" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children should learn respect for adult authority... period.  Unless its a case of obvious abuse, children need to do what they are told in school and in other public situations where their parents aren't present. The suggestions here that parenting should be customized to the child's temperment or perceived maturity, is shortsighted and only addresses the child's  half of the equation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What about teachers trying to teach a bunch of tired, restless children? THEIR plight should matter too!  There are far, far too many parents these days who think their children and related home life are all that matters... and could care less about how what they do affects the rest of the world. That's a horribly ignorant attitude to have and nurtures an elitist attitude that isn't going to do anyone any good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really people... Too much focus is being placed on children's current, short lived moments and scenarios instead of preparing them for growing up and becoming mature adults. Too much of society, parents included, are falling for the rush of expedient, personal gratification at the expense of others in their community... and passing that ideal on to future generations, by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how many times I've heard parents with very ioose restrictions arguing that letting their kids roam freely around the city on their own terms teaches them independence and self esteem. Okay... but what is their behavior like? Are they crossing the street in accordance with traffic signals? Are they stealing anything from a convenience store?  Who's teaching them anything along the way??? It should matter how they act and treat other members of society.  Its not something that children just instinctively know how to do properly. There's far more that should be considered above and beyond the simple fact that they made it back home in one piece.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If any parent wants to have issues balanced in a child's mind, they should be framed with 1) Respect for others and 2) The fact that none of us lives on a social island: What we do affects others. Those two elements cover alot of ground when it comes to questions of why things are better done one way and not the other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24108" LastEditorUserId="24108" LastEditDate="2016-08-17T17:33:41.623" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T17:33:41.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26848" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26849" CreationDate="2016-08-17T16:00:01.143" Score="-2" ViewCount="114" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is about 12 months old. He has been weaned from breastfeeding. As of right now, his weight is normal, but he will need to gain more weight eventually. Can I feed him milk, Boost or Horlicks? I will be consulting a pediatrician, but he keeps saying the weight is normal. Can anyone give me some suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24099" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-08T13:51:37.190" LastActivityDate="2018-09-08T13:51:37.190" Title="What are some good food options for a one year-old?" Tags="|infant|weight|babyfood|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26849" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26848" CreationDate="2016-08-17T16:40:38.873" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Small steamed foods. Soft solids should be okay too. Nothing seasoned. Make sure the pieces are small enough to swallow whole since chewing is new if you haven't been doing solids foods before now. Small bits and keep it simple. Focus on fruits and veggies. My son would only eat fruits veggies rice and chicken for like for months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pureed foods are still okay, but we started those around six months. If you're just starting out introducing foods just keep it very simple and only try one new thing every few days to make sure there's no allergy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For teething, frozen peas are amazing and it teaches them to like veggies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20229" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T16:40:38.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26766" CreationDate="2016-08-17T16:50:50.827" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Let him. Everyone is different. Don't force yourself on him because he is learning how to be a person and we'll soon be learning more about boundaries. You're his first relationship. Would you like it if you wanted to be alone to calm yourself down and someone forced you to talk with them or hug them? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Learning that it's okay to be on his own and self soothe is important and sounds like he's doing it well. It's not about you, it's about him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he calms down discuss his feelings with him. Talk about what happened and begin teaching how to identify feelings like sad and mad. He won't get everything you're saying but he'll pick up a lot. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20229" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T16:50:50.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26851" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26869" CreationDate="2016-08-17T17:47:45.797" Score="4" ViewCount="389" Body="&lt;p&gt;What is the best strategy for a multi-lingual couple to instill both the father's and mother's native languages to the child in a most &quot;natural&quot; and efficient way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I have been speaking English between ourselves for the eight years we've been together since we met in the USA as international students and until our first son was born two weeks ago. Neither of us is a native English speaker; she doesn't know my native language and I don't know her native language well enough, and we are both pretty comfortable in English (though both not perfect), so we stuck with it; since six years we've lived in a country where her native language, German, is spoken, but I haven't really picked it up as my day-to-day life is in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now that our first son was born we are wondering how to behave, linguistically speaking, around him. Her and I obviously have to keep talking English between the two of us because there's just no other option for us to communicate. When either of us is alone with the child then I suppose we could also speak our respective native tongues to help the child pick it up. But what if all three of us are together, such as at the dinner table? What should we speak? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife says we should have a mix where she speaks English to me and German to him, and I speak my native tongue to him and English to her. I feel this is very unnatural since I would like to understand what she says to him, so I feel it's more humane that we all speak English when we are together. But is this going to be harder for my son? He would then be immersed in three separate languages, which I understand makes it harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now he is still very small, so I guess it doesn't matter a lot yet, but when changing a diaper or picking him up she would speak to him some comforting sentences in German, which is obviously very natural, but if I'm there I'd like to understand those little jokes, funny nicknames and soothing metaphors as well. When I speak to him and she's there I do it in English because I want her to understand as well and then she's rebuking me and saying I must speak my native language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24106" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T11:37:03.513" Title="How to Handle Multi-Language Situation" Tags="|language-development|language|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26852" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26851" CreationDate="2016-08-17T18:18:18.080" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly little kids are &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; smart at picking up languages, and it's entirely possible they can speak 3 languages at a young age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, having said that, bi (or tri) lingual kids can take a little longer to start speaking at all (nothing to worry about, but we were a little nervous).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am raising 3 bilingual kids in English and Norwegian. Rather than me speak English and my wife speak Norwegian, we chose to speak mostly Norwegian with the first 2 kids, and push English hard from 3 years of age (or when they seem ready).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the third child, I am going to speak mostly English, but in that case the kid often picks up their &quot;preferred&quot; language from the mother, and speaks the &quot;other&quot; language to the father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your situation is more complicated, there's no &quot;right&quot; way to do it, and if you make a reasonable plan and stick with it I'm sure it will go fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your wife has already made up her mind, so the question is then if you speak your native language with your child or just English - have a think about how important it is to speak your own language first and also think about social circumstances (playground, daycare, creche, etc) where it might be beneficial for the child to have English skills earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T18:18:18.080" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26854" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-17T20:06:40.453" Score="1" ViewCount="258" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 12-month-old son has just recently taken to slapping us - the parents. He has been directing the slaps to our faces, chests and arms.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is causing this? Is there anyway for us to stop it? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24112" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-06T13:23:07.377" LastActivityDate="2019-06-06T13:23:07.377" Title="Why does my 12-month-old slap us?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|violence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26855" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26854" CreationDate="2016-08-17T20:17:48.300" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Babies love attention and if he gets a funny reaction (e.g. you saying &quot;No no no!&quot;) it can be plenty of fun (from their perspective).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a father of 3 and my kids as young babies have gone through various phases of pulling hair, or slapping the face, or biting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;None of it was malicious (it was all playful), so I figured it was pretty normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To abate this sort of thing I tried to firstly not react when they did it (make it less of a game), and secondly tried to distract them into a different game (e.g. clapping hands, singing, putting hands up in the air) in preference to scolding them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-08-17T20:17:48.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26859" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26862" CreationDate="2016-08-18T07:54:55.913" Score="7" ViewCount="324" Body="&lt;p&gt;I bought a package of three little cakes with raisins on it, which both looked and tasted very well for my little daughter. She is now 3 years and 8 months old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before opening it, she had agreed that she would share these three among herself, dad and mom, one for each. She and I ate our cakes, but apparently, her appetite had not been met.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mom was not there. So she began to sniff the last one at first, then licked it, then bit off a small piece, and again, though I kept warning it does not belong to her and mom would not have the chance to enjoy this delicious cake if she doesn't stop what she was trying to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I noticed her hesitation and thought she wasn't stopping because she didn't want to &quot;obey my order&quot;. So I went out and told her to make a decision by herself. Unfortunately, when I came back a few minutes later, the last cake was in her stomach. Seeing me back, my daughter ran to her mom with a little more guilt than contentment on her face, as I feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, is this a serious problem - should I stop her eating the last cake forcefully at that moment, or it's just a common situation that kids like her age still have some difficulties controlling themselves and I have made a big fuss over a minor issue?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24120" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2016-08-19T23:42:10.480" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T23:42:10.480" Title="Daughter wants to eat cake meant for mommy - should I let her decide herself?" Tags="|education|food|sharing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5305" CreationDate="2016-08-18T09:09:46.750" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a few triggers that can be the reason why baby feeds for only five minutes as mentioned in your question. Always check for tongue tie and you will know it if baby is not suckling with a grip. Not enough milk supply. Ask your self if this happenes to both breasts.  Also babies with gas indigestion or reflux (silent reflux) would have similar problems. Sometimes babies with their heads tilted will become tired after a few minutes. I always find looking in to the foods that the mother is eating and avoid the foods that cause indigestion can be a big help. I would also consider an Osteopath for the baby and probiotics for the mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24121" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-08-22T09:08:20.347" LastActivityDate="2016-08-22T09:08:20.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26859" CreationDate="2016-08-18T09:28:30.403" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You let your daughter make a decision and she made the choice most children her age will make. Ideally, your wife could have pretended to be very sad or angry (&quot;That's not fair!&quot;) right after that, teaching her about the consequences. If it happens a few hours later, it's already nearly impossible for a 3 year old to learn that connection. Still, these harmless situations are good exercises for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter needs to learn both to follow your instructions and to make her own choices and experience the consequences. At first, almost everything will be covered by rules that need to enforced with timeouts and other unpleasant consequences. Once you create a rule, don't let her get away with &quot;only&quot; the natural consequences now and then. She may experience that as getting away without any consequence at all. Fortunately, you will be presented with many new situations not yet covered by rules that you can use to let her experience the effects of her choices.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 3 year old will only learn from immediate consequences, so give her the freedom to choose in safe situations with immediate effects. i.e. eat mommy's cake when she's in the other room and about to come back. As she grows, you can slowly give her more choices and more delayed consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I've successfully used myself is to stop my sons, explain the likely effects of their choice to them and them let them choose. After things go wrong, I console them and then connect their choice to the effect again by saying &quot;See how you did X and then Y happened?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-08-18T09:28:30.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26859" CreationDate="2016-08-18T09:43:27.267" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;You would probably enjoy &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX_oy9614HQ&quot;&gt;watching&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment&quot;&gt;reading about&lt;/a&gt; the marshmallow test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was an experiment done on children around your daughter's age (some were a bit older) to see how well they can resist a marshmallow, if they were told they can have a second marshmallow in a short while - if they don't eat the first one! Then they would be left alone. The video shows how they struggle to maintain self-control. It's super cute.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids differ in how long (and whether) they are able to resist, but the main point here is that your daughter is the age where psychologists thought that resisting will be tricky :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The experiment showed that the kids who resisted longer had more successful lives later on. This prompted interest in teaching children self-control. I think the simplest exercise, and you will have to do it many times in many forms, is to have your daughter perform one thing to get another (&quot;We'll play ball if you put your shoes on!&quot;), or get used to waiting for short periods to get something she wants. (But remember that a short period for a child is a few minutes - half an hour is agonisingly long!) These are probably things you do anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, I don't think her behaviour is cause for worry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A second issue in your question is about learning to share. My son is a bit older, but after many of our own displays of sharing, and sometimes asking him if he'd like to share some of his own stuff - without forcing him if he didn't want to - he began to share goodies with us. He'd typically take the tiniest of pieces of his chocolate and give it to us, but we'd make a big deal out of how nice it is of him to think of us and share. It takes time...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2016-08-18T09:43:27.267" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26262" CreationDate="2016-08-18T18:10:10.513" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yup, agreeing with everyone else, your kid whines for Daddy, because she has empirically learned that it gets her what she wants from him, not from you.  Your way is better, you are doing more child care, he needs to get on board, and not give in.  He needs to be saying &quot;I know you are disappointed, (acknowledging the child's feelings, helping the child to name her own feelings is really helpful) but I'm not giving in&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-08-18T18:10:10.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26865" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26868" CreationDate="2016-08-18T19:33:35.273" Score="0" ViewCount="341" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3.5-year-old son has been pinching every now and then. We have another 2-year-old daughter. Recently, the problem has been getting worse, he has started pinching/scratching his teacher in the pre-school. He also gets angry when he doesn't get what he wants and starts pushing his classmates and sister. He also started pinching his parents. We have been communicating with him and he also communicates back. So, it's an issue really with impulse control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does any one have suggestions on how to calm him down and channel his anger?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24127" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-27T13:25:26.413" LastActivityDate="2019-02-27T13:25:26.413" Title="How to make my 3.5-year-old stop pinching his teacher, classmates, siblings and parents?" Tags="|pre-schooler|teaching|daycare|violence|anger|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26824" CreationDate="2016-08-18T20:18:22.993" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is completely normal (see the below picture for further confirmation you are not alone).  For both our kids, it started much younger than that, and ultimately was what made us transition them out of our bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some reason it was only me who got kicked in the face. Even in their sleep, they knew not to kick Mom... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/pj3BP.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/pj3BP.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastActivityDate="2016-08-18T20:18:22.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26867" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-19T03:20:59.920" Score="3" ViewCount="445" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do. He won't do poop in potty. He is completely pee trained, no accidents. It even takes him forever to go poop in pull-ups because he is playing. He is an only child. He will just start &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-kindergarten&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Pre-kindergarten&lt;/a&gt; this year. Need help fast! Tried so much for 6 months. About to start Pre-kindergarten where he has to be potty trained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24130" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-26T12:16:05.230" LastActivityDate="2018-08-26T12:16:05.230" Title="My boy just turned 4 and is about to start Pre-kindergarten. He won't poop in potty, only pull-ups" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|elimination|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26868" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26865" CreationDate="2016-08-19T07:43:39.043" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Empathy doesn't come naturally to small kids - it's something that needs to be taught.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First you need to help him understand that it hurts when he pinches people. Just sit down with him and explain that if he pinches his sister then she will be sad because it hurts. Everyone time he does it, be calm, sit down with him, and explain the other person is now &quot;sad&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then help him to identify his feelings. When he has a temper tantrum, explain to him that &quot;it's allowed to be angry, but it's not allowed to pinch people&quot; (check he understands, repeat it often).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Continually separate the two things - next time he is angry, calmly sit down with him and say &quot;are you angry?&quot; (and perhaps ask him to identify &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he is angry).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then ask &quot;is it allowed to be angry?&quot; (answer is &quot;yes&quot;) followed by &quot;but is it allowed to pinch?&quot; (answer is &quot;no&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had great success in doing this - separating the feelings from the physical reaction (whatever it may be... pushing, pinching, biting, whatever).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T07:43:39.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26851" CreationDate="2016-08-19T11:37:03.513" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My wife says we should have a mix where she speaks English to me and German to him, and I speak my native tongue to him and English to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your wife is right. The advise for parents is always: use your native tongue, consistently. Children are clever enough to figure out that you are using a different language when talking to each other than when talking to them, this is fine. A person mixing languages when addressing them however is confusing, it makes it harder for the children to separate the languages and might impair the development of their own language skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, children learn to talk the language the way you do it. If English isn't your native then you shouldn't talk to them in English - they will take over all the mistakes you are making as well. There is another disadvantage here: if you all talk English then your son will still learn German at some point since that's the language spoken in the country - but he will no longer be able to learn your native tongue, and this would be a shame. I've heard so many people say: &quot;Yes, my father comes from Serbia/Bulgaria/whatever but he didn't teach me the language, why didn't he?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I would like to understand what she says to him&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry, you soon will be. If he can pick up the language then so can you. There aren't too many things that parents tell their children and the meaning is usually obvious from the context. If you only spend enough time with your family you should be able to keep up as the complexity of the communication increases. Remember: he has to figure out three languages, for you it is only one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Right now he is still very small, so I guess it doesn't matter a lot yet&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually, it does matter. Children start learning languages very early, even if it doesn't show at first. Way before you can see them understanding you, they are already picking up the sound of the language and learn to separate it in words and sentences. So you should make a decision about languages as early as possible and stick with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24021" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T11:37:03.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26870" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26534" CreationDate="2016-08-19T12:10:04.530" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I assume that you are trying to teach your kid English because that's the language of your country - but that isn't the native tongue of either you or your wife. It's hard to tell from your question what the situation is right now, so what I'm going to say is just theory (one that we successfully employed ourselves given that we are in a similar situation). You should &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; speak with your children in your native tongue. If English isn't your native then don't use it. There will always be people that you have to talk English to, this is fine. But your children should get the language that you know really well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main reason for that is: your English isn't good enough. Even if you have no accent, even if you don't make grammatical mistakes, you are still using phrases that a native speaker wouldn't choose. Do you really want your child to learn your way of speaking and come across as a foreigner?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides, the most important thing is that the children have at least one really good primary language. That primary language doesn't have to be English. If they learn your native tongue well it will make learning other languages (such as English) much easier for them. Just make sure that they have native speakers to learn English from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In our case this meant getting a babysitter just for that cause - so that there is some native speaker around regularly. We started with it when our daughter was three, before that she understood almost no German (which happens to be the language of the country here) and that's fine. Don't let anybody tell you that at some point it will be too late, while picking up languages gets somewhat more difficult with the time children can still do it very well even when they are ten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24021" LastEditorDisplayName="user24021" LastEditDate="2016-08-23T14:36:23.283" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T14:36:23.283" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26871" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-19T14:03:44.667" Score="4" ViewCount="3514" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife is about six weeks pregnant is getting hit pretty hard with morning sickness and food aversions. She says most food smells like &quot;it's rotting&quot;. So she's been falling back to mostly carbs since that's all she can get down without her stomach turning. I'm getting a little worried as proper nutrition is really important in these first few weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's been trying some home remedies (ginger-ale, tea, etc.) to settle her stomach and eat. Medicine that her doctor prescribed isn't covered by our insurance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid she still isn't eating enough or getting enough variety in her diet. Are there any liquid food alternatives that are safe for pregnant women that might be bland enough for her to get down to supplement the little she's already getting? If only temporarily until the morning sickness passes? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24113" LastEditorUserId="24113" LastEditDate="2016-08-26T17:35:37.220" LastActivityDate="2016-12-23T21:14:37.100" Title="6 weeks pregnant and having trouble eating regular foods?" Tags="|pregnancy|nutrition|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26872" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-19T15:00:43.223" Score="2" ViewCount="12454" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old has been an absolute nightmare. He hits his 2-year-old sister and blames it on her, argues back saying &quot;no way&quot; all the time, and will not do as he is told to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He keeps having major tantrums all the time. He gets up at 5 in the morning, gets a chair, climbs up and starts rummaging the cupboard. I'm worried that it's a bit dangerous. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried just about everything: the 123 magic system, time out on a naughty step,  taking away his favourite toys for a while. But he just laughs it away. A few days later, after telling him off for his bad behaviour, he promises never to repeat that but goes on to do the same things over and over again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am just about at the end of my tether as nothing seems to be working and my 2-year-old girl is now starting to take up some of his nasty habits. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I possibly deal with such an incorrigibly naughty 5-year-old?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24132" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-05-12T05:15:05.583" LastActivityDate="2017-05-12T05:15:05.583" Title="How to deal with a very incorrigibly naughty 5-year-old who?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2016-08-21T19:12:53.653" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26873" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26872" CreationDate="2016-08-19T16:03:26.957" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My oldest is two and a half, so bear that in mind with my answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step is to remove as much of his ability to misbehave as possible. Lock the cabinets. Strap the chairs to the table. Don't leave him alone with his sister, and always make sure you can intercept an attack. This will be difficult!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, make sure he has something &lt;em&gt;else&lt;/em&gt; to do that he enjoys. The primary reason for my toddler misbehaves is either: 1. We've been inside all weekend and she's stir crazy. Going outside to run around solves this state of mind. 2. She's not getting enough attention from us (particularly true now that she has a baby sister), and playing with her, reading her books, or (to kill two birds with one stone) running around outside with her solves this state of mind. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to be putting a lot of emphasis on punishment. There is certainly a place for punishment, but it can't be the whole solution. Young kids typically misbehave because something is wrong (from their perspective), and they don't know how else to express themselves. If you can find out &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; he's acting out (from his perspective), you can help him solve whatever problem it is before it escalates into more bad behavior. A big benefit of this is that you'll both be solving a problem &lt;em&gt;together&lt;/em&gt; instead of fighting each &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; about the effect (to put it another way, you'll be treating the disease instead of the symptoms).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For instance, my toddler is ravenous in the morning, and always out of sorts until she has eaten. So, the first thing we do when she wakes up is breakfast. Sometimes, this is easy. Sometimes, she's so hungry that getting up into her high chair is an epic quest. She'll cry, scream, and hit. During this time, it's my job to make sure: she doesn't hurt herself or anyone else, help her identify and control her feelings, and, ultimately, get up into her chair so she can eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With your son (based on the little information from one paragraph of text), it sounds like he's acting very similar to how my daughter acted just after the baby was born. He likely feels he isn't getting enough attention, and his sister is the source of that &quot;problem&quot;. If that is the case, the &quot;punishments&quot; you give him are probably what he wants: he has your full attention, you are--in that moment--completely invested in him, and he is in complete control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest a two part overarching strategy: as mentioned above, you'll need to give him more focused &lt;em&gt;positive&lt;/em&gt; attention. Bad attention is better than no attention, but if you can teach him to crave &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; attention, he'll want that over bad attention. As part of this, teach him to ask you for your attention. I've been trying to teach my daughter to ask, &quot;Can you play with me?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, change your punishment strategy. If he's craving the punishments, you'll need to punish &lt;em&gt;less&lt;/em&gt; and &lt;em&gt;differently&lt;/em&gt;. Hopefully, blocking his methods of misbehaving will help you punish less. As for differently... well, here's what I do, it's somewhat effective. When my daughter goes into full tantrum mode, I lock us in her room and let her wear herself out. I'm present, but not involved. Then, after she finishes her tantrum, I have a calm conversation about it with her. One of the important things is for you to maintain an outward appearance of calm, even while your blood pressure spikes to dangerous levels; the more excited you get, the more excited he'll get. My daughter's essentially &quot;punished&quot; by herself (having a tantrum isn't pleasant), and I'm there to help her understand her emotions when she's calm enough for that to be useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24133" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T16:03:26.957" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26874" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-19T16:54:24.533" Score="1" ViewCount="47" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our two year old son is almost fully potty trained. He will use the potty for both pee and poop, and he has even taken a few naps (when we forgot to put on a diaper) and woken up dry. However, he is refusing to wear underwear. Currently we let him run around bottomless, because it's just him, my wife and myself living in our house. We want him to start wearing underwear, but he will fight it pretty intensely or the few times he's actually worn them will pee in them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some methods my wife and I can use to teach him to wear underwear and to not potty in them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16108" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T16:54:24.533" Title="Transitioning to Underwear" Tags="|potty-training|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2016-08-21T19:13:44.020" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26871" CreationDate="2016-08-19T21:07:01.240" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm getting a little worried as proper nutrition is really important in these first few weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No, not really. Folic acid is important but she is probably getting that already. Otherwise - it's very early in the pregnancy and your wife can easily feed the baby from her reserves. So I really wouldn't be too worried about vitamins as long as she eats enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is no general advise here, you have to experiment. If she doesn't want the usual food then there is probably a reason to it. Vegetables in particular can be really problematic. But at least my wife always had some food that she really wanted to eat during pregnancy, so maybe you can try that - no matter how crazy. In my opinion, liquid food would be an overreaction and could do more harm than good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sickness should get less in a few weeks anyway. But a change of diet is normal and will usually stay for the entire pregnancy, the organism is reacting differently to food in order to protect the child. When consulting with doctors please keep in mind that their general tendency is &quot;better safe than sorry&quot; - if you are overreacting already they might make it worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24021" LastActivityDate="2016-08-19T21:07:01.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26876" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-20T01:15:12.610" Score="1" ViewCount="2230" Body="&lt;p&gt;To preface this, I'm asking this question for someone else.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister's 14 year old son (let's call him Sam) is not too keen on taking or following instructions. Any time my sister instructs him on anything, he will roll his eyes, leave the house, or go into his room. I understand that teenagers are &quot;rebellious&quot; at this stage, and people here even say to not worry about it, but my sister and I are &lt;em&gt;well&lt;/em&gt; justified in being concerned. There are times where his inability to follow instructions could lead to serious consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One time I was over at my sister's house and I had to get Sam for dinner. I had to actually go up to his room because, like mentioned above, he won't even follow simple instructions like coming down to eat. While I was in his room, I noticed that he was watching a video of a guy connecting the terminals of car battery with a wrench. I was suspicious that he was going to attempt it, so I told him nicely, but sternly, that he &quot;absolutely should not do that.&quot; As I was putting away the dishes, I heard Sam open the garage door. I ran to the garage as fast as I could and I found him holding a wrench in one hand and he was trying to open the hood of my sister's car. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My sister and her husband don't fight, they don't yell at or hit Sam, Sam goes to a good school, has lots of friends, and he gets to &lt;strong&gt;choose&lt;/strong&gt; what he wants to do (most of the time). Despite this, Sam is extremely insubordinate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've read a lot comments here who blame the parents for being too restrictive and not giving the child freedom of choice, but my sister actively tries to be the &lt;em&gt;opposite&lt;/em&gt; of that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried explaining to him why what he was attempting was dangerous, but as I mentioned above, he just rolled his eyes at me and went back up to his room. I also tried what other people here have suggested by asking him for his point of view. I asked him &quot;why&quot; he wanted to do that. I also offered to teach him basic circuit analysis if that's why he tried to play with the car battery.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, how can I get someone like Sam to follow instructions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24136" LastEditorUserId="24136" LastEditDate="2017-05-26T01:31:07.840" LastActivityDate="2017-05-26T12:18:14.037" Title="How can I convince a teenager to follow instructions?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26877" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26878" CreationDate="2016-08-20T02:50:15.643" Score="0" ViewCount="200" Body="&lt;p&gt;Similar to the question from: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18108/working-mother-but-unemployed-father&quot;&gt;Working mother but unemployed father&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;except I'm 21 and will likely work full time in engineering after I graduate to support my parents. Anyways, my mom is constantly criticizing my dad for being jobless, and they argue a lot. Mom (and I) are making barely enough money for all of us. Dad is IMO a genius but is bad at English, in his 50s, and got his PhD in atomic and molecular physics from China so obtaining a job related to his research in the US is virtually impossible. Should I convince him to get a job completely unrelated to his work? Or stay out of this altogether? I feel like my mom is getting stressed out; if she were to loose her job... Plus, pop's extremely unwilling to go into anything not research related. Quite a nerd!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24137" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-08-20T11:04:32.157" Title="dad jobless, scraping by" Tags="|working-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2016-08-21T19:10:41.437" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26877" CreationDate="2016-08-20T04:57:28.740" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Even a genius can get stuck by focusing on an unresourceful perspective.   Your dad feels great significance from his education; great connection. This is his identity.   That's why it's so difficult to move on to something else.   He is probably incredibly discouraged because nobody wants what he has to offer.  This can cause tremendous uncertainty.  To gain more certainty he insists on what he knows because he feels apprehension and fear towards more variety...like taking some job.   He has an idea, a plan of how his professional life,  which is linked directly to his identity, should be.   That's not his reality though.   Perhaps it would serve one to think of oneself having long overcome obvious obstacles (like English proficiency).   What would things feel like then?&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Where would your dad work if he could work anywhere?  What would he do? How can your father form a bridge from his reality to the reality he believes in?  What &quot;materials&quot; would that bridge be made of?  Would Language be a brick? Flexibility? Courage? Communication? Information? Etc.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;These 5 questions may be of some help:&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you want? &#xA;What's all you have to get what you want? &#xA;What do you need? &#xA;What are all the ways to get what you need? &#xA;What are you willing to do? (This is the part that requires movement!) Action. &#xA;Best to You and your family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-08-20T04:57:28.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26876" CreationDate="2016-08-20T05:42:13.393" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Less telling,  more asking.  Give choices,  get input, be curious.  Questions invite ownership whereas telling is inviting blocks.   Lead him rather than Pushing or Pulling him, which is how he tends to feel when being spoken to rather than spoken with. Your desire to help is obvious.   Who would you more likely accept comments, advice, or warnings from? Someone who encouraged you or discouraged you? He's perceiving discouragement.   Again this is not to say that your excellent intentions aren't genuine.   It's how he perceives it.  As long as you're telling,  requesting, demanding or ordering,  he'll block. He wants to be involved usefully , given choices,  and an opportunity to use his power to make decisions,  and,  Mistakes. &#xA;Best to You and Your Family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-08-20T05:42:13.393" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26872" CreationDate="2016-08-20T08:08:18.773" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is an answer I gave another family who asked something similar.  I believe this can help you rather effectively.   Take 20 uninterrupted, totally involved completely focused undistracted, minutes doing activities your child completely loves to do. Do this daily. Be present, so don't have food cooking, or laundry on, it's about him and you connecting. Follow his lead, have fun, let go. Do this every single day. Let him know how much you enjoyed it , how you can't wait to have one to one time everyday. Schedule it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;When just beginning to act up to to him and tell him that you need a hug.   If he does not give you a hug,  say it again,  nothing more,  (want the hug,  dont fake it, he'll know) if no hug,  you can tell him &#xA;Instead of yelling, use a calm voice when speaking with him. Stop the show by removing yourself. With no audience, there's really no point of having a show. You may want to child proof before doing this, but when he gets out of control you want to disconnect. You want to be neutral and matter of fact about it. Be quick about it and non reactive . Tell him you will be going to your time out spot and that he can come find you as soon as he is less excited. Nothing more. And leave. Now wait. When he comes, tell him you need a hug. Hug it out. Tell him that you're changing time out to make it a quiet place he can go to alone or with you when he feels really excited or angry. You can remind him of this when he needs it. He can go with you or alone. You will say something like I see you're really excited, do you want to take a break in your quiet spot or do you want mommy to come too. The spot can have books, music, favorite game or toy, no electronic devices like tablets or tv though. It can be decorated any way he wants. A huge box is a good thing to use. Make a little house of it. Or use a sheet to build a tent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discuss with him what other things can HE CAN do when he feels this way... like take a walk, build Legos, paint/color, stomp on his pillows, big self hug, take a deep breath, count to ten, go to his quiet spot, read a book with Parent, use flashlight in the dark (not really dark not to scare him). Just some suggestions. Stop yelling, reprimanding, and time- outing. It is feeding into his needs for attention and power negatively. That all can be replaced with the Positive version as described above. Would like to follow up with you so let me know how things go. Best to you. Just submitted this for another family. All punishments must stop. He's trying to tell you to give him choices, to notice him, to involve him usefully. He's also trying to tell you that &quot;you can't make him do what you want&quot; Don't get into conflict, don't give in, just follow the steps above. But, for sure, the dynamic needs to change. Spend less time ordering, commanding, and more time being curious. Use a question instead of command. Don't back talk, you're modeling it. Take ego out of the mix... He isn't competing with you, he's communicating to you with a positive intention to feel significant and to feel belonging. A big part of that is self power. He wants choices... Let him choose between two things. Instead of put your shoes on, ask him are you gonna wear your sneakers or your crocks before going outside? Let me know how you do, and we can move to more steps.&#xA;PS.. &#xA;Perhaps you can offer that he contribute to whatever you're doing when you can.  Ex. Making salad when you're cooking, separating clothes for laundry,  helping to mop,  putting away his clothes in drawers.  Obviously keep it safe.   That also helps his sense of belonging. Contribution brings a great sense of significance as well.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Best to You and Your Family. &#xA;PSS. &#xA;Remember to establish the same with your daughter.  It'll be helpful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-08-20T08:08:18.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26877" CreationDate="2016-08-20T11:04:32.157" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to user23895's excellent answer, I would say that there are limits to what you can do to fix someone else's life. Your father probably feels that your mother is always on at him, and if he sees you doing the same then you will get caught in the same negative cycle of blame and frustration. Your parent's arguments belong to them, not you. Stay out of them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, don't forget to have a life of your own. Don't let your parent's issues drag you down as well. I'm guessing you have been bought up in the Confucian tradition in which children owe a duty of respect for their elders. There is nothing wrong with this, but there is also merit in the Western tradition where parents have a duty to give their children the best possible start in life and not hold them back once they can fly on their own. If your parents will not find a balance between these two then you must find your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-08-20T11:04:32.157" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26876" CreationDate="2016-08-20T11:26:15.047" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't electrocute yourself with a car battery, and using a wrench to connect the leads to the terminals is standard practice. Sam probably knows this. When you tell him something that is clearly incorrect you merely feed his teenage existential position of &quot;adults are useless and not worth listening to&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also lept to the conclusion that he was going to try this. He probably didn't have any such idea in mind until you instructed him not to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for not coming down to dinner, just leave him up there to get hungry, and make sure there are no quick edibles in the fridge for him to snack on later. He'll get the message.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit:&lt;/strong&gt; I now understand from the comments below that Movers meant Sam was watching a video about &lt;em&gt;deliberately&lt;/em&gt; short-circuiting a car battery, which I agree is a really dangerous and irresponsible thing to do, albeit unlikely to be actually lethal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastEditorUserId="7798" LastEditDate="2016-08-22T18:31:25.723" LastActivityDate="2016-08-22T18:31:25.723" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24814" CreationDate="2016-08-20T14:07:56.237" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It has been very similar for us (our daughter learned Russian as her first language). She was also pronouncing &quot;R&quot; just fine before she started talking, and then this knowledge seemingly went away. For a long time she has been substituting &quot;R&quot; by other sounds. My understanding is that this is completely normal. Making a sound all by itself simply isn't the same thing as using it in a word (meaning combining it with the right vowel for example). The knowledge is still there, but it takes time until the child can apply it to speech.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And two years is way too early to be worried, it would be highly unusual if a child could already pronounce all the sounds at this age. The rule of thumb is that any mispronunciations before the age of four years will correct themselves automatically as the children hear the correct pronunciation around them. You should avoid correcting your child however as it is a rather discouraging experience for them. Instead, just repeat what they said in the correct way: &quot;Ah, you are asking about &lt;em&gt;berries&lt;/em&gt;?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24021" LastActivityDate="2016-08-20T14:07:56.237" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26884" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-22T05:33:20.653" Score="4" ViewCount="229" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 1-year-old child. We've decided to ask two friends of ours to be the legal guardian of our child (i.e. godparents). By &quot;legal guardian/godparent&quot;, I'm meaning that, in the case of our death, the couple would be given legal custody. This would be stipulated in our will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are currently struggling to conceive themselves, and we want to approach the question in a sensitive way. We had decided to ask them before we knew about their situation. They're like family to us, so they'd be great guardians should the situation arise, but we recognize that this is a sensitive subject.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are some good ways to handle this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24148" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-17T13:09:24.127" LastActivityDate="2019-02-17T13:09:24.127" Title="What is a good approach for asking friends in a sensitive situation to be legal guardians?" Tags="|toddler|parents|communication|friends|custody|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26886" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1166" CreationDate="2016-08-22T19:14:16.270" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think anyone married to the biological grandparent should automatically be called &quot;Grandma or Grandpa&quot;.  They are deserving of it unless they were responsible for the breakup of a marriage prior.  When I read or hear people say &quot;he/she is not their &quot;real&quot; grandparent, it irks me because there are some non-biological grandparents (and parents) who are more deserving of the title than what people consider &quot;real&quot; grandparents.  It's a sign of respect and blood has nothing to do with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24153" LastActivityDate="2016-08-22T19:14:16.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26884" CreationDate="2016-08-23T07:35:04.133" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, what is your motivation for doing this? When selecting a legal guardian for your child, your &lt;strong&gt;only&lt;/strong&gt; concern should be how well the child will be cared for. It is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; something you do mainly out of pity for your friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind also that unless there is something in your situation that greatly lowers your life expectancy, the odds of both you and your partner dying in the next 17 years are quite small, so the legal guardianship will most likely never happen. That's not a &quot;gift&quot; to your friends who are already wanting to have a child for a long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Have your friends indicated such a desire?&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is the most important factor in this regard. They may not have given up on having their own baby and then your proposal may just amplify their frustration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How will you know without asking? The most obvious clue is how they currently are acting towards your child. Are they giving a lot of attention to the child, offering to babysit, acting like family? Those are signs they are in a mental space that has room for your child. If they are hesitant around the child, it might just be nervousness out of inexperience, but may also mean it's too painful for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to casually invite them to share in the caring for your child now and then, asking to babysit for example. If they seem happy to get involved and have something of a bond with the child, then you can bring it up. If they don't engage, they're likely not ready for it (yet).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared for the question why them and not someone in your family. Make it about your concerns and their helpfulness and &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; about their lack of children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastEditorUserId="21724" LastEditDate="2016-08-23T07:48:40.460" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T07:48:40.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26892" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26895" CreationDate="2016-08-23T11:58:11.370" Score="0" ViewCount="369" Body="&lt;p&gt;She started getting homework when she was 2 years 3 months old. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22441/how-to-encourage-a-2-year-old-toddler-to-complete-colouring-a-sketch&quot;&gt;How to encourage a 2 year old toddler to complete colouring a sketch?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now she is 3 years 2 months old. Now she gets the homework of tracing lines and alphabets. Her daily homework constitutes of tracing nearly 24 lines on an a4 sized page. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She and I do the homework together. She traces one line, I trace another. I do NOT hold her hand while she writes. After tracing 10 lines she tells me that she is bored. I do NOT force her to complete her remaining homework. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever homework she does, I ensure that she does it properly.  This means that I constantly require her to hold the pencil properly, keep the paper in a proper angle, stop at short distances and then start again so that she gets the time to see what she is tracing actually and whether she's going off track or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, doing homework properly requires patience from the child. And I can very well understand that tracing lines or alphabets 24 times can be utterly boring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, from what age should I require her to complete her homework even if it is boring?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S This is the same child who colored the goat blue. &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/22491/at-what-age-should-i-tell-my-child-to-colour-within-the-lines&quot;&gt;At what age should I tell my child to colour within the lines?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.P.S She doesn't color with me at home at all now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T21:08:24.343" Title="From what age should I require the child to complete her homework?" Tags="|toddler|homework|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18874" CreationDate="2016-08-23T13:25:16.477" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My reply is probably very late after the fact and I wish I came across this earlier but thank you for posting. I'm new to this site and not too familiar with the rules but if you can and don't mind sharing with us an update as to how you ended up dealing with the situation I would be really interested to read it. My daughter just turned 5 and I am in the same boat, also at lost and worried at what to do too. Here are my thoughts (although I have yet to tell her myself but I plan to soon).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We saw a therapist earlier this year and like you mentioned, it's better to tell them the truth sooner than later. It's easier on them to grow up knowing it then to be hit hard as a teenager or even older at which point they will question whether their whole life has been a lie. So I would definitely tell him sooner and tell him yourself. Letting him find out from someone else is a really bad idea (imo) because then how it is told and how it impacts him becomes out of your control (although either way the latter will be out of your control regardless, but at least you can nudge his reaction in the direction you want). You are also the person he trusts the most so for it to be told by you probably provides with the most sense of security and empathy which we know kids really need. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Coming from a broken and abusive family, I don't think there is a need to mention Edgar was abusive, esp if he is out of the picture and refuses to be. That affected your relationship with him but really, the relationship between Edgar and your son is just a blank piece of paper. I don't see any good that could come out of telling him. It might just cause your son to dislike him or make him think he came from a bad person and in both cases, I see it as a negative thing. There's no need for such a young boy to go through such negative emotions which could in turn lead up to bigger problems as he grows older. If it's history then I say let it pass and move on. If when he's older he asks when you 2 never stayed together I would just keep things general too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really like aparente001's suggestions, minus the family tree and putting it up on the wall part. It is important to tell your son Edgar's existence and the part he once played but the emphasis isn't there. Emphasis should be on how much his dad loves him and has been there since day 1. While he might only get more curious and want to know more about him as he grows older, it doesn't need to be in writing or be reminded visually. Focus on being the happy and loving family that you have always been. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And my last point... As with everything in life, it is important to set the right expectations. Expect that he will ask questions, more detailed as he gets older. Expect that he will want to learn about Edgar and perhaps even ask to meet him one day. While you might get upset from time to time, it is important to stay positive and as calm as possible while talking about Edgar. Just like you're stating facts. Whatever he asks or says doesn't mean he loves his dad any less or wants to move out and be with Edgar. He is just curious because Edgar is an unknown. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope everything did and will go well for you. Congratulations on having built a loving family! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24160" LastEditorUserId="24160" LastEditDate="2016-08-23T13:30:45.600" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T13:30:45.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26894" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-23T18:33:02.043" Score="1" ViewCount="36" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 11 year old daughter has &quot;leaked&quot; or wet her pants (small amount) while laughing hard.  She has become irrationally fearful to the point where she quit soccer and doesn't want to do anything where it might happen again I don't know how to help her with this.  I don't think it is a physiological problem it is normal for this to happen occasionally.  She is getting more and more anxious as school approaches-please help&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22304" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T18:33:02.043" Title="11 year old leaking or wetting pants while laughing" Tags="|pre-teen|fears|" AnswerCount="0" CommentCount="3" ClosedDate="2016-08-23T19:49:06.890" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26895" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26892" CreationDate="2016-08-23T18:46:58.223" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you go by the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2012/11/26/homework-an-unnecessary-evil-surprising-findings-from-new-research/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;research&lt;/a&gt;, not until high school at the earliest, possibly later.  Unfortunately, schools follow the research less often than you might think, so I would just hold out as long as possible, and replace homework with learning activities she chooses herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T18:46:58.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26896" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-23T20:32:53.223" Score="1" ViewCount="593" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have 1 year old girl. She wakes up multiple times at night, maybe 5 or more times, and she goes back to sleep as soon as I give her a pacifier or bottle of milk. Sometimes not even that helps and I've tried letting her cry and it can go up to hours and it is very stressful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm currently 5 months pregnant and I work, so sometimes I leave with up to 3 hours of sleep and this really needs to stop. Her doctor tells me she needs to sleep in her own bed but she refuses to. Any tips or ideas on what I should do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24162" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T12:21:40.920" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T12:21:40.920" Title="1 year old not sleeping" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26897" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26892" CreationDate="2016-08-23T20:39:11.947" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;4 is probably a good age to start giving homework. Possibly 10 - 20 mins per day. This could include flash cards or tracing. Our daughter goes to Kumon and does Math and reading homework.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24163" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T20:39:11.947" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26896" CreationDate="2016-08-23T21:05:15.407" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Getting young kids to sleep is often a very specialized challenge, and it's typically a &quot;throw something against the wall and see what sticks&quot; kind of situation. Things I've used, or seen work for friends and family:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First, she should not be able to get out of her bed on her own. It's ambiguous whether this is the case in your question, but for the rest of these I will assume that is true.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Cry it out.&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;There are degrees of cry it out, from &quot;cold turkey&quot; (tonight, drop her and leave, no one enters until morning) to more gradual methods (let her cry for ten minutes before going in tonight, thirty minutes tomorrow night, 1 hour the night after...)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If she's into pacifiers, drop a whole bunch in her bed with her. I'm talking 10 - 20. Then, she'll be able to find them on her own in the night.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does your daughter have a lovey? (That is, a small soft toy she &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; sleeps with, and does not play with otherwise.) If not, I'd suggest getting her one. It's good for kids to have a tangible signal that &quot;now is sleep time&quot;, and the response to being handed the lovey can get Pavlovian.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your daughter might be a bit young for this, but my daughter &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; responded well to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00NC10YFA&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;toddler clock&lt;/a&gt;. It changes colors for &quot;wake&quot; and &quot;sleep&quot;, and, even if she wakes up early, she will stay in bed quietly until it &quot;wakes up&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You sound super exhausted! And it's really hard to deal with difficult children when you're super exhausted. If it's possible, you should consider having someone else sleep train your daughter. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends, whoever you trust. You sleep somewhere where you can't hear anything and can actually, you know, get some sleep, and someone who's otherwise well-rested sleep trains your daughter. If you do this, make sure you come up with a clear plan ahead of time about how you want them to do it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24133" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T21:05:15.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26899" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26892" CreationDate="2016-08-23T21:08:24.343" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Instead of requiring her to do her homework if she doesn't want to, you might offer incentives.  &quot;If you can write twenty more lines the correct way, we can (go out to ice cream / play a game of cards / go to the park / watch 15 minutes of TV)&quot;...whatever reward works for both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way she learns to see homework as an opportunity to get rewarded rather than a trial and source of possible punishment.  Gradually increase the amount of work she has to do in order to get rewarded, but remember to make the rewards better as well.  If she doesn't want to do the work, she shouldn't get the reward, so don't use things you plan to give her anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it helps, you could think of it as a way to introduce her to our working world early...nobody says &quot;you have to sit at this desk all day and work or you'll be punished&quot;...they say &quot;if you sit at this desk and work we will pay you.&quot;  Everyone responds to positive reinforcement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T21:08:24.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26900" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26896" CreationDate="2016-08-23T21:55:44.897" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure about the rules on this exchange but I would recommend &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.amazon.ca/Sleepeasy-Solution-Exhausted-Parents-Getting/dp/0757305601/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1471988053&amp;amp;sr=1-1&amp;amp;keywords=sleepeasy+solution&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;The Sleepeasy Solution&lt;/a&gt; by Jennifer Waldburger.  We went through a number of different technique's and books (mostly more of the no-cry gentle methods).  This book took us from an 8 month old was up 3-4 times per night to sleeping through the night in around 1 week at a terrible time for sleep training&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Mom was going back to work&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Just back from vacation with a time difference&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bub had found her legs so was starting to pull herself up in the crib.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic premise is &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Set the stage for sleep&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a consistent bed time routine, dark room, white noise (if using, we did)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Put the baby down at a good hour so they aren't overtired (our bedtime is 7-7:30pm&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Remove sleep dependencies (things the baby relies on to put her to sleep such as a pacifier, these can wake her up or make it more difficult for her to put herself back to sleep if she wakes up.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Get the baby to sleep&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put the baby to bed awake&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Check in at 5min, 10min, 15min until baby falls asleep (after you hit 15min check in every 15min if required).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep interaction minimal at check in.  Tell her you love her and she needs to sleep but no physical interaction&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep the baby asleep&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 1 year the baby can go all night without eating so you need to cutout night feedings and teach the baby to put herself back to sleep&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have a set schedule for nighttime feeding based on what she is currently doing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Each night cut the time/volume of each feeding down (using breastfeeding and time since that's what my wife was doing) the schedule would look something like this&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&#xA;+-------------+---------+--------+---------+--------+---------+--------+&#xA;|             | Night 1 |        | Night 2 |        | Night 3 |        |&#xA;+-------------+---------+--------+---------+--------+---------+--------+&#xA;|             | Time    | Length | Time    | Length | Time    | Length |&#xA;| Bedtime     | 7:30pm  |        | 7:30pm  |        | 7:30pm  |        |&#xA;| 1st Feeding | 10:30pm | 8min   | 10:30pm | 6min   | 11:30pm | 6min   |&#xA;| 2nd Feeding | 1:00am  | 6min   | 1:00am  | 4min   | 2:30pm  | 4min   |&#xA;| 3rd Feeding | 3:30am  | 4min   | 3:30am  | 2min   |         |        |&#xA;| Wake        | 6:30am  |        | 6:30am  |        | 6:30am  |        |&#xA;+-------------+---------+--------+---------+--------+---------+--------+&#xA;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Each night the feeds get shorter until they are dropped altogether&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When the baby wakes up don't feed her get her back to sleep using the nighttime check in routine.  You should be waking the baby up for feedings&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Feeding should be on your schedule and not a reason to not put herself back to sleep&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Overall although I've provided a summary (which should give you an indicator if its something you are willing to try) I'm sure there are important points I have missed and would highly recommend reading the book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously this isn't the only technique that works but it did for us.  Hopefully you will find your solution soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24164" LastActivityDate="2016-08-23T21:55:44.897" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26901" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-23T22:07:54.817" Score="5" ViewCount="639" Body="&lt;p&gt;I currently work in an IT firm and my wife stays at home. She is thinking of going back to her hometown in 8th month to stay and give birth to our first baby. She thinks it requires her parents' (especially her mother's) help during, before and after birth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I want to stay with my wife during this whole time. If she goes back to her hometown; I may not be able to get to her when the baby is born, which both of us do not want. And in initial days, she will not be able to come to my work city. Please note that our parents also can not come here due to some other things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Can we handle this alone? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24165" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-03-08T13:05:39.317" LastActivityDate="2019-03-08T13:05:39.317" Title="Can wife and I handle pre/post our baby birth problems without our parents' help?" Tags="|newborn|parents|babysitting|birth|first-time|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26901" CreationDate="2016-08-23T23:14:30.227" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;You and your wife can absolutely handle a baby without Grandparents help, many people have in the past and will in the future.  The real question is: Do you want to?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having a baby and caring for a baby is extremely taxing--both physically and mentally.  If your wife plans on breastfeeding, she will be feeding every 2-3 hours.  If the baby doesn't sleep well, you may have the baby sleeping on one of you. This makes it tough to sleep well, and you only have short stretches of time between feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just trying to keep yourself fed is a huge job when all you want to do is sleep. Having people you trust that can take the baby for a few hours, or cook you a nice hearty meal, or do some laundry is a great help.  Also, in-person emotional support from close family members can be a sanity saver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So all that being said, I think having family close by is a really good idea if it's possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some possible things to consider:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you able to work remotely or from another office nearer her parents?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are you able to take some vacation time so you can be closer to grandparents for a couple weeks?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Are there other people that could help support you if you don't go stay with grandparents?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How much are you able to help out with the baby and look after your wife if you aren't in a place where her family can support her?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24164" LastEditorUserId="24133" LastEditDate="2016-08-26T23:10:04.210" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T23:10:04.210" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26903" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-24T02:02:04.440" Score="1" ViewCount="765" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 10 year old grandson has been avoiding school because his father (my son) doesn't support some material in schoolbooks which he believes is political, not information.  My grandson is embarrassed because his father writes in his textbooks.  My son is correct in his judgment, I believe, but his strategy has set up tensions and he's concerned about how to get a good education for his son. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24166" LastActivityDate="2017-03-20T02:29:17.100" Title="10 year old avoiding school as parent criticises and changes school texts" Tags="|education|parents|school|middle-childhood|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22821" CreationDate="2016-08-24T04:54:54.143" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gestational age is the common term used during pregnancy to describe how far along the pregnancy is. It is measured in weeks, from the first day of the woman's last menstrual cycle to the current date. A normal pregnancy can range from 38 to 42 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Select the first day of the last menstrual period and the calculator considers all for you &lt;a href=&quot;http://calcsoft.com/pregnancy-calculator&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://calcsoft.com/pregnancy-calculator&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24167" LastActivityDate="2016-08-24T04:54:54.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26903" CreationDate="2016-08-24T07:52:24.057" Score="8" Body="&lt;h2&gt;When in Rome...&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child's textbook is not the place to stage a protest against the school's curriculum. As you have already observed, it will only cause stress and embarrassment, not actually teach a better lesson.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 10 years old, your grandson is more than capable of understanding that people sometimes disagree on a subject or say things for a different purpose than they claim. As such, it's not necessary to literally overwrite the lessons in the textbooks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, the father should encourage his son to learn and understand the textbook as an exercise and a way to understand what other people may believe about the world. At home, he can provide this context and spend some time with his son teaching the preferred alternative lesson. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know you've carefully avoided mentioning the subject or which side you and your son are on. Still I feel I should discuss that a little. Whether it's Creation vs Evolution or Climate change vs Hoax, there is a lot of basic science underneath, that your grandson may need to successfully complete a higher education. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your grandson is taught to reject all of that science because it produces some results that are in conflict with your views, it will hurt him badly should he choose a technical or scientific career. It's better to teach him that science works and he should learn it, but it's only as good as humans can understand. Science doesn't produce fundamental truths, but &quot;This explains all the stuff we're seeing, so we're pretty confident that's how it actually works.&quot; truths. They are subject to change and limited to what we can observe and understand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teach him to investigate, understand and question things, then make up his own mind, and you'll do well by him, regardless of which subject or side you are on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-08-24T07:52:24.057" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26867" CreationDate="2016-08-24T10:38:20.363" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Each child is different and different things work for different families. You may have tried these all but I hope something may help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Take it in stages. He could be uncomfortable or scared about the idea of doing poos in the toilet so it's about easing him into getting comfortable with this idea. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So you could try easing him into the process through first getting him to go in his pull up in a specific place in the house. Like a corner or somewhere he feels safe. Then once this is done and he is fine going in a specific place, and not just anywhere while he keeps on playing then change that place to become the bathroom. So he gets used to going poos in the bathroom in his pull up. Then instead of going anywhere in the bathroom get him to sit on the toilet in his pull up and go poos. Then once he is comfortable with this step then you could move on to him actually going in the toilet itself, with a pull up pulled down. Slowly working though the steps so he is comfortable with each one before moving to the next. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Incentives can work well for some children. A very special treat if he goes on the toilet. Like the best treat you can think of for him. The good old sticker or stamp chart is another option that has worked wonders for many children I've known. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;positive motivation to use the toilet through explaining that if you stop buying him pull ups the money could be put towards something more fun. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;what happens when you let him have an 'accident'? The mess is not ideal but sometimes the discomfort can motivate children to use the toilet. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;peer pressure. As an only child this may be a good motivator. Does he have many friends his age who are not having this problem? Hanging out or spending time with them may help him see that going on the toilet is not so scary. Perhaps when he starts pre-k and he sees lots of other children using the toilet he will start to do the same. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and he will get there with time if nothing else. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24169" LastActivityDate="2016-08-24T10:38:20.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26903" CreationDate="2016-08-24T21:42:35.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would encourage your son to talk with the school official who is in charge of curriculum and textbook selection.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastActivityDate="2016-08-24T21:42:35.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26912" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-25T10:08:03.103" Score="4" ViewCount="2367" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner has a 5yo who was 2 when we got together. In this time he has cried uncontrollably every single time he is dropped off or picked up from our house. These tears usually subside if he is distracted by something but then return at bedtime. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have him every other weekend and about 50/50 during school holidays. When he was younger I chalked it up to his age and my being new on the scene but the behaviour continues. I've asked him why. If he is worried about something (he is generally on the anxious side) but he says it's because he wants mum and he's tired. I've explained he can miss his mum but know he's going to see her in a couple of days but it doesn't seem to make too much difference. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for any advice or insight on helping him with the transition as the problem seems persistent and it's not very nice for anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24177" LastEditorUserId="25436" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T18:51:22.337" LastActivityDate="2017-04-15T04:34:50.190" Title="My step son cries every time he is dropped off" Tags="|step-parents|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26914" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-25T14:07:07.183" Score="1" ViewCount="207" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm half-German and 75% fluent (spoken but not written), my partner is English. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since birth we've been speaking to our (now 2.5 years old) toddler boy in English only, yet I am now regretting not speaking German to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are contemplating relocating from London to Amsterdam in about 4-6 months. Would now be the wrong time for me to start speaking German to my toddler and potentially too confusing for him given that he's slowly speaking English now and will be hearing Dutch in about 6 months time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I feel I need to point out that my German is good, but not perfect. I make grammatical mistakes (mostly with genders) and I don't have much grasp of kiddy words but can hold a strong conversation about any topic. Am I crazy to assume that my child will be able to learn from me? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks so much for your advice, if given a push in the German direction, I'd switch from English to German tomorrow! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24178" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T20:19:55.440" Title="Is it the wrong time for me to introduce a 2nd language to my toddler?" Tags="|toddler|language|bilingual|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26915" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26903" CreationDate="2016-08-25T16:45:54.057" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What your son is doing, without realizing it, is using your grandson's education and well-being as a pawn for his own political agenda.  If he wants to teach his son critical thinking skills, and wants to discuss and examine why his son should keep an open mind to alternative perspectives on issues that are, possibly, subjective, that's fine.  To use him as a proxy like that is more selfish than helpful.  If he has concerns about whether the content is objectively legitimate, then that can be raised.  Usually, when it comes to politics, it's more about being stubborn when one's own viewpoint isn't championed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-08-25T16:45:54.057" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26916" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24404" CreationDate="2016-08-25T16:54:57.013" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've always offered my children the option of having alcohol whenever I or other adults had it.  They occasionally would take a tiny taste, and generally refused. De-mystifying it, and removing the &quot;this is the Forbidden Fruit that ADULTS can have, but you little kids can't&quot; aura to alcohol is pretty big in helping to avoid the desire to dive in and go overboard to prove that they are either rebellious or grown-up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Something to consider - what are the actual laws in your state?  Some states it's illegal to furnish minors with alcohol.  Others, it's illegal for establishments to sell or serve.  In yet others, it's illegal for individuals who are not parents or guardians to do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my state:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Illegal to sell to minors (well, under 21, but, you know).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Illegal to sell to adults if they enter the store with minors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Illegal to serve minors who are not accompanied by a parent or guardian.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's right, it's not only legal for me to allow my kids to try alcohol at home, it's legal to serve them at a restaurant if I'm with them and okay with it.  Or, it was last time I checked, which was a long time ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might not even be illegal for you to do so, if that's a concern.  Check the specific state statutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2016-08-25T17:11:17.713" LastActivityDate="2016-08-25T17:11:17.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22927" CreationDate="2016-08-25T17:58:39.767" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are a person who is only willing to do just enough to get by,&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(A) how does that prepare for your more difficult, higher level tasks which you aspire to?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(B) why would anyone want to hire or pay someone's who's approach is to do the absolute minimum level of achievement or competence to get by?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a competitive business environment, companies that have the people who do the best work for the companies, who, in turn, supplies the best products for their customers are the ones who win the business, make money, and stay in business.  They aren't going to be interested in someone who scrapes by.  How do they measure that without knowing you, very well?  They look at your grades, etc.  If your history at the high school level is one of mediocrity, they're more likely to say &quot;high school isn't that hard, and this person barely made it&quot; vs. &quot;this person is the genius/superstar that will vault us to excellence, and they've been saving it all up for our challenge.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As someone who has always been considered or described as very gifted or brilliant, but not effort-focused, and who has often been deemed as not fulfilling great potential, I can say your explanation sounds more like a justification for not trying, more than a reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I instilled the exact opposite attitude in my own kids because it burned me badly throughout life.  I've had to scrape and toil all through my adult life, while those who were definitely less bright or creative than me, but much more willing to work, have been able to enjoy much nicer and more comfortable lives.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I like who I am, but you're setting yourself up for a lot of drudge and grind that is unnecessary.  It doesn't end, when you're on your own, because that's all you have. It's not like when you're in high school and your parents provide for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your parents simply know better than you, on this topic.  Regardless, I've framed it in a way that removes the parents and their expectations from the equation.  It's self-destructive on a personal level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'll be 17 soon, and I believe I'm being treated like a young child. How can I get them to treat me like the age I am? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Excuse-making to justify lazy, self-defeating behavior is not adult behavior.  Harsh as that is, you need to behave responsibly to earn that respect and treatment.  You're not demonstrating it on this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2016-08-25T18:50:52.923" LastActivityDate="2016-08-25T18:50:52.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26918" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-25T18:33:35.087" Score="9" ViewCount="276" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the father of a three year old son who attends a workplace nursery in the UK. I'm together with his mum and admit can be a lazy so-and-so (in life in general, I make efforts not to be) but certainly don't consider anything beneath me, or &quot;for mums&quot;. Part of that is that I drop off and collect my son from nursery, as well as things like changing nappies, doing bed time, medicine, cuddles, and so on. So far so unremarkable, it's not the 1950s.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the staff at nursery, though, consistently treat me like I'm incompetent, or an idiot who doesn't understand how one human being looks after another, or say things like &quot;Look, [son]! Daddy's come to take you to mummy&quot;. I'm told everything slowly and multiple times. If both of us (mum and dad) go there for a meeting, I'll barely get a glance. They'll also simply not listen to things I tell them to the extent that I ask my wife to tell them something so that they'll remember. It's not something that tends to happen in the rest of my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a while I thought a mixture of &quot;I'm just being touchy&quot; or &quot;Maybe they're right&quot;, but it's starting to get ridiculous and I can't really sustain that any more. It's really wearing me down, making me feel useless. I worry that if it goes on then they'll start thinking I'm neglecting him. I wonder if it's the way I dress, or my attitude, or something I once said.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So &lt;strong&gt;here's my question&lt;/strong&gt;, is there a way that I can kind of politely and subtly change this? Is there some attitude or strategy to kind of indicate to them that I might not be a complete waste of space when it comes to either being a parent or worth communicating with? Something I can do to seem worth it? (Assuming that's the case and they're not just right).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24180" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T18:23:55.060" Title="Dads and nurseries" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26922" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12079" CreationDate="2016-08-25T20:52:43.060" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Looks like you've been trying to control behavior through intimidation and force. Sounds like she's reached the point where she's going to resist that. The problem with your methods is that, if you get that pushback, your only option is to escalate, which might work, or it might escalate the level of resistance, which could really spiral out of control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any time you are parenting out of anger and for control, it's effectiveness and flexibility in dealing with different situations is going to be limited.  However, at this point, you can't go back and undo years of parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you could, I'd suggest sitting down with the child, and calmly discussing how you want what is best for them, and clearly you two are frustrating the heck out of each other. You'd have to have an open and frank discussion of WHY you want her to behave the ways you are asking. If you can't articulate a reason that isn't a version of &quot;because I said so and I'm the boss&quot; or &quot;that's how I was raised,&quot; then you have to ask yourself why you are fighting that particular fight. This will also require her to be open and frank about why it is she is resisting.  Does she feel like she wants more freedom?  More responsibility?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, she's getting older, wants to be treated more like someone who has some say, then that comes with responsibilities and accountability. She has to take up a certain level of responsibilities around the house.  You two agree upon groundrules for things she's allowed to do, but only after responsibilities - homework done with best effort, chores, etc. are completed.  In exchange, she gets some latitude on if she can go out, if she gets to watch shows, has her own cell phone etc.  Emphasize that as a parent, you are not required to grant these things, but that you feel she can certainly earn them. Then, if you have to take away things she likes, it's not you doing it, it's her own falling short on her end of the agreement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're still going to have fights and disagreements, but you're giving her a greater degree of control over what she can do, you're giving her an incentive to behave in a positive manner, and, since you've arrived at these rules by discussion, you don't have to go into this battle of you fighting and demanding, her disagreeing, because it's something you both agreed upon, up front.  I'm not sure if it's too late to take this approach, but it's worked well for me, but I'm very lucky in the temperament of my kids, and I don't think that's all due to my parenting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2016-08-26T12:53:10.110" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T12:53:10.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26923" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26903" CreationDate="2016-08-25T22:15:44.040" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should have a serious talk with your son to make sure that he takes his parental responsibilities more seriously. He is behaving in a way that clearly causes damage to his child (your grandson). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son doesn't agree with school policies or the materials in his child's schoolbooks then he should take it up with the school officials. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2017-03-20T02:29:17.100" LastActivityDate="2017-03-20T02:29:17.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26924" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-25T22:56:29.723" Score="3" ViewCount="13481" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old boy throws things at people for no reason. Sometimes he just needs attention and sometimes he's just doing this for fun, but it has been very hard on us because it gave me a black eye once. Now his teacher is exhausted about the situation and she needs us to do something about it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've done ignoring, time out, talking, and even spanking. None of them works, after the the punishment he is gonna do it again and start laughing. My son has speech delay too and I think this behavior might be because of his lack of communication skills. Please help me to find the right strategy that works for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24184" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-16T18:04:14.213" LastActivityDate="2022-01-18T02:44:09.980" Title="How to make my 3-year-old stop throwing things at people?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|language-development|violence|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26925" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14237" CreationDate="2016-08-26T01:57:59.813" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would get him evaluated for autism. I hope is nothing but from what u are mentioning it can be early signs. DON'T WAIT.... To find out at the age of 6. Early intervention give kids an opportunity to live normal life&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24185" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T01:57:59.813" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26930" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24404" CreationDate="2016-08-26T13:38:36.537" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I worked in substance abuse for 10 years. Although certain conclusions are difficult to make, it is true the vast majority of alcoholics and drug addicts started at home with condoned alcohol use, and the earlier the age the worse the addiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, &quot;Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor&quot; is a major crime with the possibility of jail time. Religious ceremony has a definitive exclusion by federal law [See The Freedom of Religion Act].&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do not give your teenage child alcohol. It's dangerous. It's bad parenting. Let them make their own decisions when they turn 18.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T13:38:36.537" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26931" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1983" CreationDate="2016-08-26T13:39:57.107" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;No&lt;/strong&gt;, it is not safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics has a policy statement on the subject in the following document.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/early/2011/10/12/peds.2011-2284.full.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Expansion of Recommendations for a Safe Infant Sleeping Environment&lt;/a&gt; (p. 1033 section e)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sitting devices, such as car safety seats, strollers, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;swings&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;, infant&#xA;  carriers, and infant slings, are not recommended for routine sleep in&#xA;  the hospital or at home. Infants who are younger than 4 months&#xA;  are particularly at risk, because they might assume positions that can&#xA;  create risk of suffocation or airway obstruction. When infant slings&#xA;  and cloth carriers are used for carrying, it is important to ensure&#xA;  that the infant’s head is up and above the fabric, the face is&#xA;  visible, and that the nose and mouth are clear of obstructions.&#xA;  After nursing, the infant should be repositioned in the sling so that&#xA;  the head is up, is clear of fabric, and is not against the adult’s&#xA;  body or the sling. If an infant falls asleep in a sitting device, he&#xA;  or she should be removed from the product and moved to a crib or other&#xA;  appropriate flat surface as soon as is practical. Car safety seats and&#xA;  similar products are not stable on a crib mattress or other elevated&#xA;  surfaces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24191" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T13:39:57.107" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26932" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26901" CreationDate="2016-08-26T16:37:00.653" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It doesn't so much matter what &lt;em&gt;we&lt;/em&gt; think, it matters what your wife thinks, and it sounds like she'll be happiest and most comfortable giving birth and learning to care for an infant with her mother's help.  When you become a parent you learn you have to sacrifice a lot of your own wants in favor of the best interests of your child and his/her mother, and this might be one of the first times for you when this happens.  Birth, in addition to being very physically taxing, is not without risks, and if your wife wants someone by her side who has been through that same experience, I think your best move is to be as supportive as you can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On the other hand, it will also be important that you and your wife maintain a strong relationship even after the child comes, and that you can develop your own strong relationship with your child.  I would advise you to work with your wife to find ways you can meet those two goals even in the case that she goes to her parent's home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Modern technology has opened up new paths of communication.  Maybe frequent video-conferencing might give you a way to feel present even if you are physically separated.  I know how hard it will be for you to not be present at the moment of birth, but you'll have a whole lifetime after that to build your relationship with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2016-08-30T17:34:22.160" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T17:34:22.160" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22178" CreationDate="2016-08-26T16:53:28.973" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is not an authoritative answer, by any means, but I'd guess that, especially for kids' books, you would have the lines of Braille right under the lines of visual text, so you could read it aloud at the same pace as your child is following with their hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would almost have to be done that way, actually, because if you learned Braille, yourself, how could you both read the same text (you aloud, child following along) at the same time?  Only one set of fingers would be able to feel the dots at any time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if you'd want to do that to be more tuned into what it's like for your child, great, but I don't think it would be necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T16:53:28.973" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19481" CreationDate="2016-08-26T17:13:27.397" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;All parents, except maybe parents of that &quot;bad seed&quot; who is the problem, have to deal with this.  We dealt with it early on, in elementary and middle school, and by time the kids hit high school, they were pretty comfortable with who they were and dealing with it on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few of the points of emphasis that seemed to work for us - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If it gets bad enough that they don't feel they can handle it, they have to be stronger than peer pressure and get a responsible adult involved.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Realize what is going on.  Those who lash out do so because they feel bad about themselves.  They have a fundamental weakness or insecurity, so they are trying to make themselves feel better by dragging others down. You can't be dragged down unless you allow it. Recognize that they aren't lashing out at you because you are weak or odd, but because that's how they feel about themselves.  Since it's not really about you, it's easier to ignore it or not feel belittled by it. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do you like this other child or look at them as a leader when they treat you like this?  Of course not. When you take the bait, allow them to make you feel bad about yourself, or react to their goading, you are giving them control over you. They want to get a reaction, and you are obliging them.  The best revenge is to be in control of yourself, and dictate your own actions, because then you are denying them what they want when they act like this. If they never get what they want, they're eventually going to give up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Along the same lines, your time, attention and energy are precious commodities. You want to give them to things you like, your friends, your family. When you take their bait, you are allowing them to steal your time, attention and energy, and you can never get that back. If they are not worthy of it, and they aren't, you shouldn't give it to them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Framing in that context really helps the child feel like they are in control, even when they aren't doing anything.  It won't be perfect, because we're all human with emotional as well as rational sides, but it will get easier over time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2016-08-26T17:25:33.880" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T17:25:33.880" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26914" CreationDate="2016-08-26T20:07:06.790" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you'd start right now, you could actually argue that speaking German with your kid will help him learn Dutch, as he'll be able to recognize a lot of words (he will need quite a while to adjust to three languages introduced in a fairly short period of time, don't worry if that takes a lot of time). The most important thing, however, is that it won't suffice if only you speak German with him - he will need other people to speak German with him, both to make sure that hears enough German to learn it, and also to make him understand that he actually &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; to learn/speak the language. So absolutely ask your mother and sister to speak German to him, and nothing but German, and stick to German yourself, but also try to find other people who would speak German with him, and other surroundings where he is expected to speak German. If you're moving to Amsterdam, as far as I know there is no German infrastructure other than a German playgroup meeting once a month - not a lot, but it might be enough to become friends with other kids he'd like to meet more often (there is a German school in The Hague). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Regarding your own command of German: It's hard to say whether or not your German is good enough, but if I were you, I'd give it a try, if you are able to make sure that he is also regularly exposed to German spoken by (near-)native speakers. I would also recommend to make an effort to improve your German - if your problem is mostly genders, the probably most efficient way would be to immerse yourself in the language as much as possible. Listening to a talk radio station (not music) like Deutsche Welle whenever you can, even while doing other things, will likely help with that (though don't expect your son to learn German that way, that's not how a kid will pick up a language). Also try to find a few German friends yourself, and speak German with your mother and sister, if you're not doing that already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend reading about bilingualism; I found the work of François Grosjean particularly helpful. You can find a good summary on his website: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.francoisgrosjean.ch/for_parents_en.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.francoisgrosjean.ch/for_parents_en.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7088" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T20:07:06.790" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26936" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26914" CreationDate="2016-08-26T20:19:55.440" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Regardless of the timing, it's a tough call. The main question is: do you think that learning German from you will do your child any good? No matter what you say, he is guaranteed to take over the mistakes you are making. And it isn't only about grammar. If you make mistakes related to genders then you are probably not using German very often. Is your vocabulary big enough to keep up as your son grows older? Typically, issues arise when children start at school - will you be able to discuss his school subjects in German? If not, his vocabulary will likely get stuck on the nursery level forever meaning that it won't be of any use for him. In fact, this lack of vocabulary should be the main reason why children often refuse to use their second language at some point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Altogether, it sounds like you are more comfortable with English, meaning that you should probably stick with it. If you have family members who are more comfortable with German and who can spend considerable time with your son - having them speak German to him is worth a try. He might not start speaking German, particularly as he knows that all of them understand English perfectly well. But he will learn to understand German and this should be a good basis should he decide to learn speaking German at some point. And it's really now or never because his English skills are probably quite advanced at this point already, having to play catch-up with German will be a very disappointing experience for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't be too concerned about Dutch. First of all, it's still pretty far away (6 months are &lt;em&gt;lots&lt;/em&gt; of time at this age). Second, hearing German might actually prepare him for the fact that some people speak a different language. In fact, German and Dutch are relatively similar, so whatever German proficiency he will have acquired by the time you move shouldn't be a waste once he will have to deal with Dutch-language daycare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24021" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T20:19:55.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26937" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26912" CreationDate="2016-08-26T21:46:45.020" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER&lt;/em&gt;: This answer merely presents a hypothesis, one that is difficult enough to prove when dealing with a child regularly and one that definitely cannot be proved given the amount of information provided here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I see a possible answer in the &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;attachment theory&lt;/a&gt; here, in particular in the child's attachment to its mother which is forming during the child's first year. The theory names several attachment patterns with the secure attachment being the ideal one - a secure child has confidence in its mother. So while this child also suffers from separation anxiety, it has no doubts that its mother will return.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you describe could be a sign of anxious-ambivalent attachment however. Here the child didn't get a consistent response when it needed its mother's help, so its stress level when separated from the mother is very high - it doesn't know whether the mother will come back. In this case, your step son's reaction really isn't about anything that you do. Daycare is a similar situation, maybe you can learn whether the same behavioral pattern shows up there as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While for children this plays out entirely in the subconsciousness, this condition persists into the adult age. From such adults I know what it feels like: no matter what happens, you feel like you aren't worth being loved. So people doing good to you cannot be interpreted as an act of love, you rather expect them to act out of hidden self-interest. Consequently, you cannot possibly rely on other people, everybody is a potential threat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some people are spending years fighting their subconsciousness in order to improve this attitude. So unfortunately I can offer you very little advise should this hypothesis turn out correct. Then again, this child is closer to the source of his issues so fixing them might be easier - you will definitely need professional advise however. Also, I'm fairly certain that nothing will work without the child's mother being cooperative. I can imagine convincing her that her child needs help being pretty impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I hope that you will at least manage to understand what this child has to put up with, and why he is resistant when you try to comfort him. As he grows older he should develop better ways of coping, and maybe you can find a way to assist him here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24021" LastActivityDate="2016-08-26T21:46:45.020" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26938" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-27T02:03:12.387" Score="3" ViewCount="14533" Body="&lt;p&gt;How can I save a crawler from falling backwards and hitting his head? If I carry him till his back and neck can support his head weight will he learn to sit?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We keep him on a rug on the floor when he learns to crawl, and I keep pillows on all four sides too. Still he moves and falls where there is no pillow; he moves off of the rug and falls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't sit with him all day and hold him when he falls. How do you save a 7 months from falling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24195" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-23T12:51:17.887" LastActivityDate="2018-08-23T12:51:17.887" Title="Baby falling backwards when he learn to sit" Tags="|infant|safety|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26939" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-27T09:36:25.667" Score="13" ViewCount="48060" Body="&lt;p&gt;I often read the recommendation that milk for newborns and infants (breast milk or infant formula milk) should have body temperature (~ 37°C). Usually, this recommendation is just stated as a fact (without scientific reasoning) or with some useless &quot;generic&quot; reasoning (&quot;It's best for your baby&quot;, etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hence, my question: &lt;strong&gt;Will bad things happen if milk is fed at room temperature (20-25°C) instead?&lt;/strong&gt; If yes, which bad things? If not, why is body temperature recommended?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: I do know that milk (breast milk or infant formula) should not be &quot;old&quot;, due to bacterial growth. That is not the question. I am asking about &quot;freshly prepared&quot; milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24198" LastActivityDate="2020-10-06T05:47:47.587" Title="What happens when you feed cold milk to a baby?" Tags="|infant|newborn|food|formula|milk|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26940" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26924" CreationDate="2016-08-27T15:08:38.093" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a response I wrote for another family, that will help you. &#xA;Take 20 uninterrupted, totally involved completely focused undistracted, minutes doing activities your child completely loves to do. Do this daily. Be present, so don't have food cooking, or laundry on, it's about him and you connecting. Follow his lead, have fun, let go. Do this every single day. Let him know how much you enjoyed it , how you can't wait to have one to one time everyday. Instead of yelling, use a calm voice when speaking with him. Stop the show. With no audience, there's really no point of having a show. You may want to child proof before doing this, but when he gets out of control you want to disconnect. You want to be neutral and matter of fact about it. Be quick about it and non reactive . Tell him you will be going to your time out spot and that he can come find you as soon as he is less excited. Nothing more. And leave. Now wait. When he comes, tell him you need a hug. Hug it out. Tell him that you're changing time out to make it a quiet place he can go to alone or with you when he feels really excited or angry. You can remind him of this when he needs it. He can go with you or alone. You will say something like I see you're really excited, do you want to take a break in your quiet spot or do you want mommy to come too. The spot can have books, music, favorite game or toy, no electronic devices like tablets or tv though. It can be decorated any way he wants. A huge box is a good thing to use. Make a little house of it. Or use a sheet to build a tent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he does this when he feels excited or anxious, or angry, discuss with him what other things can HE CAN do when he feels this way... like take a walk, build Legos, paint/color, stomp on his pillows, big self hug, take a deep breath, count to ten, go to his quiet spot, read a book with Parent, use flashlight in the dark (not really dark not to scare him). Just some suggestions. Stop yelling, reprimanding, and time- outing. It is feeding into his needs for attention and power negatively. That all can be replaced with the Positive version as described above. Would like to follow up with you so let me know how things go. Best to you. Just submitted this for another family. All punishments must stop. He's trying to tell you to give him choices, to notice him, to involve him usefully. He's also trying to tell you that &quot;you can't make him do what you want&quot; Don't get into conflict, don't give in, just follow the steps above. But, for sure, the dynamic needs to change. Spend less time ordering, commanding, and more time being curious. Use a question instead of command. Don't back talk, you're modeling it. Take ego out of the mix... He isn't competing with you, he's communicating to you with a positive intention to feel significant and to feel belonging. A big part of that is self power. He wants choices...to be involved usefully... Let him choose between two things. Instead of put your shoes on, ask him are you gonna wear your sneakers or your crocks before going outside? Then let him get them and put them on. Which brings you to training.  Training is teaching a behavior,  then role playing a few times while he gets it.  Keep NO out of it.  Use humor.  Back off to your quiet place of you get frustrated.  Take turns.  Remember that mistakes are great opportunities to learn and communication is only effective when you get the response you're looking for. You can also try replacing the behavior like  high five instead,  or walking over and saying hi,  or tapping someone to get their attention.   Role play those or any other ideas you may have.   Remember,  have fun with this,  laugh,  enjoy,  and he will too.   That will help him learn more quickly.  Let me know how you do. Best to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastActivityDate="2016-08-27T15:08:38.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26941" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26957" CreationDate="2016-08-27T17:36:09.690" Score="1" ViewCount="1251" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've been in the process of sewing some clothes for a newborn coming in the next few months. In looking at designs for sleep gowns, it seems like they almost universally go over a child's head, even though many people recommend avoiding that the first month or two of a child's life and look for something with a zipper or a side snap style - a preference these first-time parents I'm sewing for share. Is there some reason I'm missing not to put a zipper or buttons down the front of a sleep gown? Pros versus cons for zipper versus buttons?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24200" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T04:46:59.070" Title="Zipper on Newborn Sleeper Gowns" Tags="|newborn|clothes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26944" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26938" CreationDate="2016-08-27T19:05:37.580" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our four-month old can now sit up unattended. We tend to put her on a quilt on a carpeted floor with a V-shaped pillow behind her and a couple of toys to pick up (which she normally attempts to eat - but of course they are too big).  With this set up she won't seriously hurt herself whichever direction she falls (and you're right, it can be in any direction of the 360°!). Remain in earshot and you'll hear if he ends up in an uncomfortable position.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am curious how your baby is crawling before being able to support his head. If he is crawling, then I suppose you also need to consider that he might escape. If he can't support his head yet though, he won't be able to sit unaided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20399" LastActivityDate="2016-08-27T19:05:37.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26948" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-27T19:44:17.113" Score="7" ViewCount="339" Body="&lt;p&gt;At risk of sounding like the over-pushy head mistress from Daddy Daycare....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are both monolingual Brits, living Britain, with a four-month old daughter. It seems a shame to waste this early stage (or perhaps the near future stage) when children are able to absorb language skills so quickly. Is there a gentle way to introduce some foreign language skills to our daughter now that would help her to enjoy a greater aptitude for learning languages later in life? I don't expect that our daughter will be fully bilingual, but could there be something in between raising a bilingual kid and not bothering at all? Foreign babysitter? Foreign children's movies?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20399" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-02T18:17:32.757" LastActivityDate="2019-01-02T18:17:32.757" Title="Monolingual parents encouraging language skills early" Tags="|infant|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26949" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26939" CreationDate="2016-08-27T19:50:11.093" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as cold milk I wouldn't recommend that, especially for young babies. Their tummies are sensitive, plus their body does use energy to bring that fluid to body temperature to be used. Room temperature is fine but you do want to knock the chill off cold milk out of the fridge.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24206" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-08-28T13:29:04.170" LastActivityDate="2016-08-28T13:29:04.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26950" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26339" CreationDate="2016-08-27T20:11:46.757" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this issue is so upsetting as a parent because all we want is for our child to be happy. I would just like to know how verbal she is? Can she tell you what she wants using her words or does she rely mostly on gestures?keeping in mind I know very little about your situation and that's what I'm basing my comment on.  It could be that she is getting frustrated that she can not communicate what it is she wants. I would pay attention to her verbal and non verbal communication very closely. Try to understand what she's telling you and hope it gets better as her vocabulary gets better. However if she is non verbal and continues to be at age 2 I would take her to a therapist to make sure there is no underlying issues. Most likely it's just a phase and as she is able to express what's bothering her these behaviors will subside. Then you'll just have the normal terrible 2s lol. Most important thing you can do right now is make sure you also take good care of yourself so you have the patience to deal with it.  Good luck mom and dad &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24206" LastActivityDate="2016-08-27T20:11:46.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26951" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26938" CreationDate="2016-08-27T21:49:56.730" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He will get the hang of it with time and practice so give him the opportunity to learn. He needs to get the feeling of balance to stay upright and to build up muscle strength.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until he has learnt, I don't think you can do much more than you already are. We did the same with our son, putting cushions around to protect him but occasionally he did fall elsewhere. As long as he doesn't fall heavily onto a very hard surface, it's unlikely to do much damage from sitting height. At 7 months you can't really leave him unattended for long periods anyway and I'm sure he will let you know if he gets a bump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For you, it's good practise for getting the balance between how much to protect him and how much to give him the freedom to develop. In a few more months he'll be walking where he'll fall from higher and survive and there will be many more situations after that where you'll have to make a judgement of when to step in and when to leave him to it. This is a relatively harmless situation to try allowing him a bit of independence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2016-08-27T21:49:56.730" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26954" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-28T13:50:15.050" Score="0" ViewCount="1699" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son would sleep 10 to 12 hrs every night from the time he was about 3 months old. All the sudden he's waking almost every hour. It's worse than when he was an infant. Also would like to know if night feedings to get him back to sleep will cause weight gain as he is in top percentile for weight and height. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24206" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T14:21:07.233" Title="Why is my 9 month old not sleeping through the night?" Tags="|bedtime|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26955" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26901" CreationDate="2016-08-28T19:33:42.730" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Can you both handle this without help from you parents? Absolutely. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the point of view of making life easier for your wife or yourself, using the help of the parents is just perfectly fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the point of view of forming a family, it's bad. The family that you and your wife should be worried about are you, your wife, and the baby. Instead the setup is grandparents, daughter, and grandchild. Look who is missing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two possible reasons why your wife wants this: Either because she is afraid of the responsibilities of a mother. That's something she will have to overcome sooner or later, and the sooner, the better, if she wants to become a good or just decent mother. Or because she doesn't want you in the picture. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would act based on the assumption that your wife is afraid and try to encourage her. On the other hand, that baby has two parents, not just one. So along with the encouragement I would make clear that I don't want to be excluded from the two months around the baby's birth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastActivityDate="2016-08-28T19:33:42.730" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26956" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26948" CreationDate="2016-08-28T20:11:17.550" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Congratulation, you will give a precious gift to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children of that age learn by listening, &lt;strong&gt;only by listening&lt;/strong&gt;. Before reaching 7 years old their acoustic filters are not fixed by one particular language yet. The &lt;em&gt;gentle way&lt;/em&gt;, in your situation, is a &lt;strong&gt;foreign nanny&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;strong&gt;movies or tv programs&lt;/strong&gt; plus &lt;strong&gt;listening to music&lt;/strong&gt; in that second language you want your child to learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I speak by experience.  My daughter, now 16, is almost bilingual, studying spanish as third language and actually starting to learn gaelic, for fun. How come? Because we spoke to her in three languages until 6 years old. We listened to music in five or six different language, just for the sounds. Learning a language is easy and fun, once you understand how it works. Check the link to Tomatis centers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion, besides movies, music and the &lt;strong&gt;fluent&lt;/strong&gt; nanny. Why not start learning a new language at home with an immigrant teacher. You, your wife and the child. Start learning mandarin or russian with an fluent immigrant. These languages have a very large frequency bandwith and &lt;strong&gt;listening to large frequency bands&lt;/strong&gt; is the key to early learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Check &lt;a href=&quot;http://europsycenter.ru/en/foreign-languages-tomatis&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this link&lt;/a&gt; about frequency bands and language learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;p.s. The &lt;strong&gt;fluency in a language is a must to teach&lt;/strong&gt; young children. For an adult it is not as important to be perfectly fluent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22362" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-08-28T20:11:17.550" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26957" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26941" CreationDate="2016-08-28T22:56:19.653" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For a newborn, hands down zippers are the ideal option over snaps, and snaps would be better than anything pull-over. There's nothing more confounding in the middle of a sleep deprived night than snaps. Trying to match them up in the dark while baby wriggles and your eyes are crossed from exhaustion is hell. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only disadvantage to a zipper is the slight chance of zipping up baby's leg (or some other body part) in it. However if the sleep sack/gown is roomy enough (as it should be) this is less likely to happen than with, say, a &quot;sleeper&quot; (the one piece pajamas with feet) that are a little more close fitting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2016-08-28T22:56:19.653" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26958" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26948" CreationDate="2016-08-28T23:57:09.300" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend the foreign babysitter option.  You'll want her to come on a regular basis, several hours a week at least, and you'll want her to speak to the child exclusively or almost exclusively in her own language.  Make it clear that you want her just to speak the language, and not to attempt to teach it to the child; children don't learn languages natively the way they learn them in classrooms later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child will probably speak back to her in English, and that's okay.  She'll still learn to hear the sounds, which it more than half the battle of being able to speak them later on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps more importantly, she'll learn at a fundamental level about the difference between meanings and words, since different languages use different words for the same meaning.  This is thought to provide mental flexibility which can be highly useful even if she never actually learns a foreign language to a functional level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-08-28T23:57:09.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26959" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-29T01:41:02.600" Score="1" ViewCount="15349" Body="&lt;p&gt;I keep my milk in storage bags. I also put the storage bags in a tubberware in the refrigerator.  I was tired and forgot the tubberware full of my breastmilk supply on the counter for an hour and a half, maybe close to two hours out, before I realized and put it back in the refrigerator.  The milk still felt cold when I touched it but I need to know how long will they last before it goes bad. There is enough milk for about 15 feedings, so imagine how sad I am right now thinking I can't use it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24214" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-25T13:43:43.297" LastActivityDate="2019-01-25T13:43:43.297" Title="How long does breastmilk last if it was in the refrigerator then left out for close to 2 hours and put back in the refrigerator?" Tags="|newborn|safety|breastfeeding|bottle-feeding|temperatures|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26963" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26964" CreationDate="2016-08-29T14:02:29.420" Score="1" ViewCount="272" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just few moments ago my 2.5 weeks old daughter when laid on her belly (she always liked it and even slept with hands reaching my neck) started to cry a little bit and started flexing. She stared to raise the whole lower part of her body almost to the position like this one &lt;a href=&quot;http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5sayaVGfj1rxfzlmo1_1280.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5sayaVGfj1rxfzlmo1_1280.jpg&lt;/a&gt; but with chest still attached to mine. Just like she was trying to do a handstand. It looked really creepy but this is not what worries me. This just doesn't look normal to me. This is my first child so there are many surprising things, and I never panicked but with this one I feel a bit anxious, mainly because I had some balance problems in my late 20ties and I am still undiagnosed (so there is a limited possibility that this exotic condition is genetic).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What made me a little bit more nervous is that I tried googling (newborn trying to do a handstand, newborn pincha mayurasana) and to no avail. Maybe I cannot into google as I am not really sure how to phrase the question in my native language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After being picked up by my wife she calmed down and I haven't tried putting her on belly since -  I don't want to cause pain to my daughter just for the sole purpose of &quot;debugging&quot; the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I called my mother and she told me to calm down because maybe my daughter is having some abdominal pain and just trying to do all she can not to put the pressure on the belly. And I would be perfectly calm if she would try to roll over. But it's like telling someone that it's normal for a child to start levitating because of back pain (sorry for the exaggeration but I want to you to understand my perspective).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My questions:&#xA;Have anyone encountered similar situation?&#xA;Do you think that this is something that requires immediate action (going to hospital) as it may suggest neurological problems or should I wait until next doctor's appointment? This is not a persistent situation so I think it is better to evaluate the situation before going to the hospital (which may cause more harm than good and we still may end up being redirected to a neurologist after classification as not life threatening situation)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Side question:&#xA;As this is something that isn't easily describable what is the best way to include a video. How to attach/upload it? I want maximum privacy (the less media of my daughter online the better) so maybe some time limited hosting but then if someone else will encounter something like that in the future these is no reference. I want to be decent (I try to be naked for skin on skin contact) so should I use some blur on my lower part of the body or it would still be considered indecent. The blurring is also related to faces (privacy) ofc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24147" LastEditorUserId="24147" LastEditDate="2016-08-29T14:27:26.167" LastActivityDate="2016-08-29T14:29:50.190" Title="Newborn handstand pose" Tags="|newborn|health|crying|motor-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26964" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26963" CreationDate="2016-08-29T14:29:50.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It sounds like she's having cramps, causing her to tense up and &quot;overstretch&quot; (Not sure that's the correct word in English). She has no good muscle control yet, so she's tensing &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; of her muscles. Those in the back and neck win out, causing her to curve backwards somewhat like that pose in the linked picture. She will feel very rigid to you at that moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is normally harmless and while the cramps are likely to get worse over the coming weeks (and reduce again after 8-12 weeks), her muscle control will improve and this effect will get less pronounced.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look up how to deal with cramps and especially pay attention to what works in the way of relief for your child, there's no universal cure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-08-29T14:29:50.190" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26965" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-29T16:08:59.253" Score="9" ViewCount="3414" Body="&lt;h1&gt;TL;DR&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son is starting daycare in a country where the language is (almost) completely alien to him. Can we do anything to help him settling in this new environment? &lt;em&gt;(full story below)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Original story&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our son, who is &lt;strong&gt;26 months old&lt;/strong&gt;, was born in the foreign country that we're living in at the moment (UK - but the question should be universal), but so far he had little exposure to its language. &lt;strong&gt;At home our native language&lt;/strong&gt; (Hungarian) &lt;strong&gt;is spoken all the times&lt;/strong&gt; as this is the most convenient (both parents are from there), and he only occasionally hears English when we meet friends or the neighbours, or on the playground. He is starting in a day nursery very soon where only English is spoken and we're concerned that he might have a hard time settling in. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The existing questions I found here are mostly focusing on the language development in these situations, however we're not concerned too much about that directly, as many suggests that children at this age can adapt to new languages very easily. &lt;strong&gt;Our concerns are more about the initial shock of the new situation and the emotional consequences of settling in to daycare&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only he will be left without his parents, which is quite a new concept to him (he never had been left to the care of someone else for more than half an hour and even those were rare occasions), but also in an environment where no one understands him. To make it more difficult, this happens in the age when he had just recently started to speak (he can form some two-three word sentences now, but this is only a very recent achievement, so far he seemed a bit on the late side of the language development) and when he seemingly enjoys that he is able to communicate his desires and can reflect to the world he sees. On the positive side - due to our working hours - for the first half-year he only need to be in day care for two days a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nursery suggested we come to the first sessions with &lt;strong&gt;a mini-dictionary of his most commonly used words&lt;/strong&gt;, so the teachers in his group can memorise them. However I'm not convinced that this is a good idea. Due to the vastly different pronunciation between the two languages there is a chance that they won't be able to use it anyway, and even if they do, I'm concerned this would just confuse him even more, as some of his words will be understood but most won't be. I feel that it would be less confusing if we kept clear boundaries between the languages and the places where they are spoken. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the question is, if this dictionary sounds like a good idea and is there anything more we can do to help him settling in under these circumstances? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Update&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for the great answers so far. A month has passed since his first sessions and unfortunately &lt;strong&gt;he couldn't settle in yet&lt;/strong&gt;. He is usually crying from the morning till he is picked up, refusing to eat or drink or do anything in the nursery. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this struggle cannot be solely attributed to the language barrier, I'd think at best it's only some addition to the emotional stress caused by the separation from the parents. However the caregivers told us that our son often &lt;strong&gt;seems to be completely lost&lt;/strong&gt;, not understanding what's going on over his head. &lt;strong&gt;Other children&lt;/strong&gt; try to play with him in his better moments but sooner or later they start to talk to him and &lt;strong&gt;when he doesn't answer they leave him alone&lt;/strong&gt;. We noticed he became unusually shy amongst other children when we're out on the playground too. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So beyond the well-discussed general settling-in advices I'd be still interested in ideas on how to address the language barrier issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We changed a few things in a hope these will help:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;started teaching him the language at home by playing some role-plays in English&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;printed a set of pictures of the toys they are playing in the nursery and ask him what they are in English&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;trying to spend more time in play groups which are similar to the daycare environment but with parent's supervision&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19023" LastEditorUserId="19023" LastEditDate="2016-09-25T20:45:27.157" LastActivityDate="2021-03-13T01:44:30.377" Title="How to help a 2-year-old settle in day care where a foreign language is spoken?" Tags="|toddler|language-development|daycare|bilingual|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26966" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26948" CreationDate="2016-08-29T17:00:17.757" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I've recently came across a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies?language=en&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;TED talk&lt;/a&gt; about this subject which probably answers some of your questions. I suggest you watching the whole talk, but here are the key things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Children are generally brilliant at learning languages until the age&#xA;of 7. After puberty it takes much more effort.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The critical period for &lt;strong&gt;sound development&lt;/strong&gt; is under the age of 1. This is where babies learn to differentiate between the noise and the sounds of their language. So exposing them to different languages even at this young age sounds like a good idea.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;However exposure to &lt;strong&gt;TV or video does not help in this period&lt;/strong&gt;. The social interaction that is crucial in this process cannot be replaced.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd like to emphasise the last point here, as this will probably narrow down your possibilities, but overall to me it seems like a good idea to expose babies to a second language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19023" LastActivityDate="2016-08-29T17:00:17.757" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26968" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-29T19:07:36.397" Score="3" ViewCount="443" Body="&lt;p&gt;2 1/2 year old boy, hates meat, and most veggies. I will admit,  I  am not the greatest cook and we sometimes eat not-so-healthy meals, however, I am still worried about it and want to make sure that I am giving him the best nutrition I can. Any suggestions? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24219" LastEditorUserId="11210" LastEditDate="2016-08-29T21:27:44.997" LastActivityDate="2020-12-19T13:48:20.703" Title="2 1/2 year old boy, hates meat, and most veggies" Tags="|toddler|nutrition|weaning|junkfood|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26969" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26901" CreationDate="2016-08-29T22:22:04.170" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your wife will definitely want someone there after the baby is born.   No question.  If you are taking paternity leave, that would work, though having someone with experience with babies would be better.  If you can't take paternity leave, then she absolutely should go to her parents, she &lt;strong&gt;needs&lt;/strong&gt; their help during the day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-08-29T22:22:04.170" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26970" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26954" CreationDate="2016-08-29T22:24:40.340" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, lots of babies change their sleep habits at about 4 months.  It's sometimes called a sleep &quot;regression&quot; but it's more a permanent chance in how the baby's brain is wired.  So you can't expect sleep habits at 3 months to carry on past that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A 9 month old is capable of eating enough during the day to not need to feed at night, so first order of business is to taper off the night feedings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once that's out of the way, your kid needs to learn how to soothe themselves back to sleep.  And then need you to give them the opportunity to learn that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9368" LastActivityDate="2016-08-29T22:24:40.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26972" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26975" CreationDate="2016-08-30T10:55:59.213" Score="84" ViewCount="27918" Body="&lt;p&gt;Long story short: my first wife passed away while giving birth to my daughter. Two years later, I've remarried, but I am concerned over when should I tell my daughter the truth about her mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter is now 3 years old, and she's calling my new wife &quot;mom&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I deal with this situation without affecting negatively my daughter's health?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21870" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2016-09-01T07:17:01.183" LastActivityDate="2018-06-19T17:47:55.510" Title="At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?" Tags="|development|parents|communication|death|" AnswerCount="17" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26973" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-08-30T12:19:44.527" Score="42" Body="&lt;p&gt;I cannot really give first-hand advice, never having been in a similar situation. However, I would think the basic approach should be the same as for an adopted child. Basically:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't push information on the child she is not ready to handle, but&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;don't make it a secret either&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are multiple questions about how to handle adoption on this site, for example &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/24123/when-is-the-right-time-to-tell-my-daughter-shes-not-my-biological-child&quot;&gt;When is the right time to tell my daughter she's not my biological child?&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18874/how-and-when-should-i-tell-my-son-that-his-amazing-father-isnt-his-biological-f&quot;&gt;How and when should I tell my son that his amazing father isn't his biological father?&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the situation is not quite the same. Possible complications include:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your daughter, once she understands the concept of death, may worry that you will also die soon.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She might have a lot of questions about her biological mother that you are unable or find uncomfortable to answer.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She might feel responsible for her mother's death, particularly if her mother died from birth complications. You might consider not telling all details right away on this point. &lt;em&gt;Thanks to  JoeTaxpayer for mentioning this.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you run into problems, consider getting assistance from a counselor, or a self-help group for widowers / orphans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T13:02:47.630" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26974" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-08-30T16:11:54.267" Score="27" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your second wife is your daughter's mom.  She's all that your daughter has ever known.  She's just 3 years old, and this stability (mom &amp;amp; you) is important to her. You don't have to be the biological mother to be a mom to a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had some family skeletons that we disclosed to our daughter in part when she was about 12/13.  At that point, she was old enough to understand complicated concepts and emotions. As she asks questions now, I answer them.  But we never wanted her to feel that she was the cause of anything and young children have a tendency to do that because they view everything in their lives with themselves at the center.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you are having some internal issues yourself with your daughter calling your wife 'mom'. You likely miss your first wife, and feel a bit conflicted about possibly 'losing her memory.'  You won't, and these feelings are very natural.  While you don't need to hide your first wife's existence, I don't think I would make the exact details of her death prominent.**  Your child needs time to bond with her mom.  I would definitely suggest that you talk to a professional counselor about this as soon as possible, though.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** What I mean is that it's perfectly ok to mention that you were married before and you loved your first wife, but she died.  I don't think I'd bring up the 'she died in childbirth giving birth to you' at this point. Your first wife is part of your family even though she is gone. Your child just needs some time to gain enough maturity to understand the story and that it isn't her fault that her mother died and that her relationship with her current mom is normal and deep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24223" LastEditorUserId="24223" LastEditDate="2016-08-30T16:21:11.677" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T16:21:11.677" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26975" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-08-30T16:48:35.780" Score="141" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children are resilient, and are usually far more capable of dealing with the idea of death than we give them credit for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two things I would avoid:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Referring to her birth mother as her &quot;real&quot; mom&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;and&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Waiting too long before telling her&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your current wife &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; your daughter's mom.  Period.  But so was your first wife.  Personally, I would take the approach of telling your daughter that she's got &lt;strong&gt;two&lt;/strong&gt; moms.  The one that she knows, and the one that died when she was a baby.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How many details, if any, that you provide beyond that depend on what questions your daughter asks, although I agree on the advice on being careful of telling her that your first wife died during childbirth.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that does come up in her questions, you can be vague (e.g. &quot;she became ill when she was pregnant&quot;) without being deliberately evasive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is, in my opinion, better to tell her now for two reasons.  One reason is that the earlier you tell her, the more commonplace it will seem to her.  If she's &quot;always&quot; (children &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_amnesia&quot;&gt;remember very little, if anything, of episodic details from before they are 4 or 5&lt;/a&gt;) known that she had 2 mothers, and that one died when she was a baby, that will simply be a fact of how things are, rather than an unusual or potentially disturbing detail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other reason is that the longer you delay, the more she might question why you waited so long to tell her something so important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user420" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T16:48:35.780" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26976" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26968" CreationDate="2016-08-30T17:47:11.070" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most kids will eat fairly well and self manage if you set the right boundary conditions and stop making a fuss about it, which makes it into a an attention-grabbing power struggle. Things that can help are&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Routine &amp;amp; Consistency: set fixed meal times every day. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sit down with the family and do a little fun ritual (sing, clap, yodle, whatever)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make sure there are healthy options on the table. At least nothing un-healthy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Absolutely no TV, device, books, phones at the meal table. If it rings, let it ring.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Kid can decide how much and what they eat. Parent stays out of it. If they don't eat, they don't eat. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Have another little ritual that declares &quot;meal is over&quot;. All eating stops at this point. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No snacks or food until next meal time. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That will typically do it. You need to carefully explain to the kids how the new rules work and it may take a few days for the routine to sink in. Prepare for the typical questions and complaints &quot;Mom, I'm hungry&quot; A: &quot;Me too, I'm really looking forward to having lunch with you in an hour&quot;. &quot;But Im really hungry now&quot;. &quot;Sorry, we don't eat between meal times&quot;. &quot;I hate this food, it's yucky&quot; A: &quot;ok&quot;. Just ignore, it's up to the kid to eat or not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You just have to be really consistent and they will come around. If they are hungry they will eat. Now is a good time to start: This will get harder as the kids grow older and there are more outside influences (like the horrible US snack, soda &amp;amp; cookie culture)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anecdote: One of my nephews was a pretty fuss eater. When visiting he shared the dinner table with a few male teenager which would vacuum the dinner table at record speed. The fussiness disappeared within two days or so: he quickly learned that if he wanted to pick something good, he had to move fast! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastEditorUserId="178" LastEditDate="2016-09-01T11:20:23.633" LastActivityDate="2016-09-01T11:20:23.633" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26977" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="26979" CreationDate="2016-08-30T17:49:13.050" Score="5" ViewCount="18642" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is now 3.5 years old and had recently started going to play school. Ever since, he had been getting sick approximately at a rate of once every 4-5 weeks. Each time it is the same story, he gets fever, cold (sometimes cough as well) and we take him to the doctor and he prescribes some acetaminophen based medication and he gets better. He is up to date on all vaccinations and my child's pediatrician says it is normal and happens when a child is first exposed to an outside environment like daycare or school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been happening for the last 4 months. Is it normal? Has anyone else faced this problem when they sent their kid to school for the first time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9866" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-15T12:20:46.693" LastActivityDate="2019-08-15T12:20:46.693" Title="Is it normal for a 3.5-year-old child to get sick every month?" Tags="|pre-schooler|health|daycare|sickness|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="26978" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-08-30T18:12:51.603" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;My biological father died when i was an infant, and my mom remarried before I knew any difference.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;They told me about this when I was somewhere between 6 and 8 years old.  I might even have started to suspect something, since my new dad is a very big man and so was my little brother, but I am a smaller guy (even at that age you can notice, and the adults who knew would not say &quot;he's going to grow up tall like father&quot;, so I might have started to catch on).&#xA;I think this timing is perfect.  I was old enough to deal with the idea, and my response even at that time was &quot;this doesn't change anything between us&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I didn't know how exactly my father died until much later in life.  The details are not important.  So exclude anything about 'died in childbirth', it's enough to say she got sick when the baby was young and the hospital could not cure her.  Keep it simple, avoid the details, and focus on warmth and love.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24225" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T18:12:51.603" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26979" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26977" CreationDate="2016-08-30T19:16:42.617" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Oh, yes, that's normal for kids who have just started going to school/preschool etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Quite simply, there are hundreds, if not thousands of cold and flu viruses circulating in society.  As adults, we've already built resistance to the many we've encountered over our lifetimes, so we won't be carriers for those germs and pass them on to our kids, because the germs can't breed and build up in us (after we've developed defenses against those specific strains).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At school, your child is being exposed to a much, much broader spectrum of pathogens because the other kids they meet also haven't built up resistance, and will acquire and pass along what they run into, and vice versa, so there are huge multiples of kids with very little resistance to anything (and, by definition, the capacity to carry and pass on many more varieties).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The different resistance of other adults they encounter in their households and families will mean other, different germs that maybe your family has not been exposed to before, (which will mean you will also get sick a bit more often), or ones you have been exposed to, but the other families haven't (so, while you won't get sick and pass those along, another family might pass along those germs to your kids that they would not get from you).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Schools and other kids are germ factories.  Keep in mind, that, as you rightfully view other people's kids as disease-infested vermin that they are, technically, your kid is the same to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T19:16:42.617" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26980" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26977" CreationDate="2016-08-30T19:24:58.383" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes this is 100% normal. And don't be surprised if you catch some of the bugs your child does. That's because the last time you were exposed to kiddie germs was probably many years ago! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best thing to do is to give your kid an immune boost. Lots of fruits and veggies, a daily probiotics, and good sleeping habits all help keep the body stronger against pathogens that make you sick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It gets better the longer he's in school. My son is in his second year of daycare and got sick way less than during his first year.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T19:24:58.383" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26981" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26959" CreationDate="2016-08-30T19:28:41.010" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Actually that's not the general recommendation for breastmilk. Breastmilk has special properties that prevent it from going bad right away. It can be out for a while before going bad. However, since you won't be using all 15 feedings right away, I'd suggest popping them all into the freezer as the freezer will halt bacteria growth while the refrigerator merely slows it down. Breastmilk that is bad will probably smell and taste bad. Smell it and then taste a drop and you will know!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a good resource for storage handling and times: &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/milkstorage/milkstorage/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/milkstorage/milkstorage/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T19:28:41.010" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26982" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26977" CreationDate="2016-08-30T19:57:05.643" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son was always getting sick with monotonous regularity (way different to our daughter who was virtually never ill). Obviously, every time we'd take him to the doctor he'd have a cold or infection. Unfortunately, this masked the problem: his tonsils and adenoids were extreme enlarged. This made him susceptible to getting infections (which would further swell his tonsils and adenoids).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, a doctor worked out the issue. He had his tonsils and adenoids removed and became a different child. He was no longer tired (they caused sleep apnea), he gained weight (they made it hard for him to eat) and he got sick less often.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL;DR Probably normal but there are cases where the may be a legitimate issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="295" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T19:57:05.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26983" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-08-30T20:14:26.447" Score="-6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is nothing wrong with saying that your current wife is her mom. You can tell her about her &quot;real&quot; mom when she is ready for that, as the other answerers here have also suggested. But note that the so-called &quot;truth&quot; is based on an oversimplified model of reality that we find convenient to work with, which isn't correct either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider e.g. that my mom who gave birth to me is alive, but she obviously is not the same person today as she was at the time when she gave birth to me. So, when I refer to her as my mom that is strictly speaking wrong. Also, I'm not the baby she gave birth to. Strictly speaking that baby died a long time ago, as he gradually changed into me. A more correct model of reality would describe us as &lt;a href=&quot;http://arxiv.org/abs/1305.1615&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;different persons in each instant of time&lt;/a&gt;. Clearly that's a convoluted and very counterintuitive way to describe personal relations. That's why we stick to our oversimplified model. If we are ok. with that then we should not object to giving small children an even more simplified version of reality that they can deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9078" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T20:14:26.447" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26984" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1829" CreationDate="2016-08-30T20:57:16.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have nothing to worry about.  While having a couple caregivers speaking non-perfect English in their household might seem worrisome, possibly, keep the following in mind - &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your young kids, in daycare, if exposed to perfect pronunciation and grammar, are going to butcher, mis-pronounce and screw up their English.  That's because they are kids.  They're just trying to get the basics down, and their level of development that they could hope to achieve at that age isn't such that the caregivers will set them back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your kids live, interact and exist in a society that is &lt;strong&gt;saturated&lt;/strong&gt; with English.  Both now, and when they start formally learning the correct, proper English, there is no danger that this will put them behind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it is a concern, that the caregivers will somehow give them enough non-ideal English to impact their learning, request that they, instead, interact only in their much better native tongue.  This will help your kids with language skills. Kids are tiny brain-sponges.  They will pick up both, effortlessly, if exposed to it, without confusion.  It happens all the time in other cultures.  There's nothing about ours that precludes the same, other than our own limitations we put on the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mother is from Asia, and still has a heavy accent, though her English is pretty good, it's still not perfect after 55+ years in the US. My English communication skills have always been considered pretty far above average, as a child and throughout school, being raised by her as a stay at home mom, and being exposed to her less than perfect grasp, 24/7.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your kids wind up with tortured English, it's more likely to be your fault, than a daycare provider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T20:57:16.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26985" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26959" CreationDate="2016-08-30T21:06:41.953" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;A rule of thumb for storing foods is that every hour storage at room temperature will cause the &quot;best before date&quot; for storage in the fridge (at 7 C or lower) to come forward by one day. This is based on the fact that germs grow exponentially, but at a slower rate at 7 C compared to room temperature. The time for the number of germs to double is approximately a factor 24 smaller at 7 C than it is at room temperature. Food taken out of the fridge will take some time to warm up to room temperature, but note that when you put it back it will also take some time to cool down. So, you can use a wide safety margin of subtracting 2 days from the date you would normally be using the milk, and you should check if the milk is still ok. when you approach that new date.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9078" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T21:06:41.953" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26986" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-08-30T21:09:57.060" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter  needs a positive differentiating term for each of the two women.  Much like you introduced the your &lt;em&gt;name&lt;/em&gt; as either &quot;Dad&quot;, &quot;Father&quot;, &quot;Papa&quot;, or &quot;Daddy&quot; to your daughter, she will need something like &quot;Mom&quot;, &quot;Mother&quot;, &quot;Mommy&quot; for the 2 women.  Recommend emphasizing the endearment &quot;Mom&quot; for the second wife and &quot;mother&quot; for the original.  Daughter is the product of 3 people, all who care(d) for her.  Do not leave anyone out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that determined, proceed to explain family origins. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As one who grew up in a similar situation, (parent loss as a young child, re-marriage), best to simple talk about all 3 promptly and emphasize the unity of the families involved.  Certainly the parents/relatives of the original mother and 2nd wife come into play too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the current wife is not an adoptive mother of the child - that has bearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14444" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T21:09:57.060" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26987" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26977" CreationDate="2016-08-30T21:16:17.140" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This can happen for a while, but it's not normal on the long term. So, if you child continues to get ill every month, month after month, then there may a medical problem that needs attention. E.g. the child may be deficient in some vitamins and minerals, e.g. iron deficiency which most people know can cause anemia, may also compromise the immune system, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3684798/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;vitamin D is needed for the immune system to work properly&lt;/a&gt;, and many other such examples can be given. Grown ups will have a stronger and better trained immune system, they can then tolerate being low on iron, vitamin D, zinc or some other compound without that leading to getting infected with some virus.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9078" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T21:16:17.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26988" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26954" CreationDate="2016-08-30T21:20:54.207" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As your child grows, it will also get more energy and sleep requirement may become a bit less. It's then important to make sure the child gets enough play time that is physically challenging enough for the child. If the child lacks the necessary exercise time appropriate for him, then the child may not sleep well during the night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9078" LastActivityDate="2016-08-30T21:20:54.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26989" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26968" CreationDate="2016-08-31T06:20:29.850" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the system Hilmar wrote about, make sure your child exerts himself enough during play time. As &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/features/even-babies-need-exercise#2&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;pointed out here&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Toddlers should get at least 30 minutes daily of structured physical activity. Preschoolers need at least 60 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both toddlers and preschoolers should not be restrained for more than 60 minutes at a time in car seats or strollers, except when sleeping.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9078" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T21:34:12.360" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26991" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26918" CreationDate="2016-08-31T11:47:15.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is just everyday sexism, it gets better, in the sense that it is less often the case at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discrimination is based on lack of knowledge / experience, perhaps over time, as the staff see you more and get to know you better, they'll realise their sexist attitude is wrong and just based on dogma, rather than experience, then they'll  will treat you and other dads as they treat mums.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sexism is, sadly, something everyone experiences in different ways and to varying degrees.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, if, over time, there is no improvement, you could, when your kids leave, write a constructive note informing them of their persistent sexism and how you felt it to be unhelpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24237" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T11:47:15.303" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26993" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-31T13:48:59.590" Score="3" ViewCount="1437" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old started going to daycare in the summer and the mornings are pretty rough. The first daycare she attended,  she would kick n scream as soon as we pulled up in front of the building and would literally have to get pulled into the classroom. I've now switched daycare providers and at first she seemed to like this location. She would cry shen we first drop her off then after that she's fine,  but what we notice is,  when she gets upset.. She will scratch her head aggressively n pinch herself. She just got moved to a different class since she is fully potty trained , so it's as if she's starting all over again and her tantrums have upgraded to scratching her lip or face until she bleeds.  The school is worried and as a parent I am as well.  I guess I'm a little confused because when we go to church,  she loves going to Bible school n walks in fine and plays with others,  but in daycare she will keep to herself or stick by the teacher. Mind you she does not do this at home.  When she's upset at home she will scratch her head and cry but that's about it.  Could this be a disorder or is she just having a toddler tantrum? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24243" LastEditorUserId="24243" LastEditDate="2016-08-31T17:45:49.770" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T01:59:26.800" Title="3 year old scratches herself" Tags="|toddler|development|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26995" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26948" CreationDate="2016-08-31T16:32:13.810" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boss at a previous employer was Japanese, his wife was American, they lived in Germany, and so their 3 sons were already fluent in English and German and had a good grasp of Japanese. My boss decided to send them to a French-speaking school. According to my boss, they picked up French pretty quickly and didn't have any further problems. I don't know how it worked out long term for them - hopefully fine!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's just an interesting example that I thought I'd throw in there - as for my opinion, it's based on my partner's and my efforts to bring up our children bi-lingual in German and English in the UK. The kids are 6 and 4 and so far, so good. At the moment after spending 2 weeks in Germany, they are chatting fluently in German with each other. We do notice that they lag slightly in English behind the 2 or 3 bright kids in their school and nursery classes who we have decided are the 'reference' English children we compare our with. Apparently this disadvantage disappears once their vocabulary has matured.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nursery linguistics expert talked to us about non-English mother-tongue children and gave us her opinion that confirms what some of the other answers say. Apparently as they learnt to talk themselves, hearing 2nd or 3rd languages is very beneficial. She also told us that to gain fluency, the child should be exposed to the 2nd language for at least 40 hours per week. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My partner and I achieved this by making German our house language - even though mine is a bit poor. I was dubious about the benefit I was bringing with my German, but it seemed to help. My daughter now corrects my German!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again as others say, songs, audio books and TV are all useful and helped us achieve that 40 hour mark. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For me, it was clear that my partner's mother tongue was the 2nd language of choice (in fact it is competing to be the 1st language) but for you as monolingual people, I would recommend taking the plunge yourselves and learning a second language too. You could find a lot of synergies in the efforts you are making for your child - you could read books for her in that language yourself, you could go along to foreign-language play groups and actually converse in that language yourselves with the adults there, you could go on holiday to that country and actually get by with the locals etc etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, with all this concentration on language, don't forget how beneficial to mental development music is too. So give her a bit of Brahms or Chopin in between the French / German / Mandarin....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19222" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T16:32:13.810" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26996" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26918" CreationDate="2016-08-31T18:23:55.060" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's unfortunate that this is happening to you, but (unfortunately) not uncommon.  I similarly dropped my children off at daycares (and still do for one), and at first I think there was some of this as well, though not to this degree.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I can suggest is being over-involved.  When I dropped the kids off, I specifically stayed for a bit in the classroom and chatted with the teachers, and interacted with my child playing with the other children (within reasonable limits). I made it clear to them that I was an active, involved dad by being so very visibly in front of them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also was the one who asked questions about the day, in detail, every day. My wife tended to just pick the kids up and go; when I picked up, I asked how they did, got the teachers to go into some detail even just finding out little fun things they did. I made smalltalk with the teachers, as well, finding out how they were doing and eventually finding out details of their lives (and sharing details of mine).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that's really the only way to overcome stereotypes that people have - and that's what this is - by putting the reality in their face.  Not aggressively or provocatively, but highly visibly and clearly. Show your mad dad skills. If there's a dirty nappy at pick-up, go change it yourself - don't ask them to, and don't let them if they offer to. Ask where the changing table is and get at it. Be the person who shows up to chaperone field trips.  Keep showing that you're the competent, involved dad, and not one of those who sticks his nose up at nappies, and you'll get through to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T18:23:55.060" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26997" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5287" CreationDate="2016-08-31T19:47:00.697" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you absolutely should acknowledge meeting expectations.  If the only thing you take note of is when you punish, admonish or mete out consequences, then the only attention you are giving your child is negative reinforcement.  Positive reinforcement works much better than negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Charts with stars and stuff like that often are not a &quot;reward&quot; as much as a positive way to track progress towards an ultimate goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can still do this and not coddle.  For instance, set the goals and expectations very high.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, overall, there's nothing wrong with making the process/experience one that is rewarding, even if someone isn't crowned the champ at what they do.  I hear parents all the time going on about &quot;participation medals,&quot; but what is also real, in life, is that there is only one person who is &quot;best,&quot; and billions who are not, and those billions aren't worthless or losers because of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T19:47:00.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26998" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12429" CreationDate="2016-08-31T20:21:15.777" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 8 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. I teach them that we don't start fights, we finish them. As long as they aren't the first to get physical I will defend them completely. I also explained that they need to remember that if they defend themselves there will always be consequences one way or the other (with school etc.,)but defending themselves is important.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24252" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T20:21:15.777" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="26999" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-08-31T21:43:47.650" Score="4" ViewCount="1469" Body="&lt;p&gt;I assume that this question has already been asked on countless occasions but I haven't been able to find the answer to it! I'm a separated father who sees his son 2 days a month. As you can imagine his education is out of my control as there isn't much communication with the mother. He doesn't go to the nursery, thus he doesn't know how to play or even acknowledge other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last weekend I went to a house where there was another toddler of 1 and a half yeare, the toddler came to play with my son and my son simply pushed him away. I got very upset and started telling him off. Instead of getting afraid of me, he smiled. I didn't use any kind of physical aggression but if shouting at him didn't work, what could I do? Remember that I see him only 2 days a month, and I want him to enjoy these days rather than being angry with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24253" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T19:54:04.260" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T19:54:04.260" Title="How to tell off a 2-year-old boy" Tags="|toddler|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27000" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26999" CreationDate="2016-08-31T23:13:27.897" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is two.  Two year olds aren't going to understand why they are being scolded.  Basically, the only method we ever used effectively with my daughter at that age were to remove her from a situation bodily when she was interacting with something the wrong way.  Shouting doesn't really help.  Physical stuff really won't help. **&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children tend to cling to a parent and establish a base before they begin to explore an area.   It's possible that the other boy came up before your son had gotten used to the area.  Was he clinging to you?  Was there a toy that he had that he didn't want to share when the other boy came up?  It takes time for a kid that hasn't had interaction with other kids to warm up. Eventually, though, the curiousity makes them want to interact with the other child once they don't have to protect their rights over &quot;owning&quot; their parent.  You're new at this ;-)  but you'll see it in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So sad about the two days a month.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** And I'll clarify, shouting and physical don't work to discipline a child.  Timeouts when they're older and monitoring what sort of input they are modeling their behavior on are the best shot you've got.  Most of the time, kids don't need it.  They are very protective of parents and tend to model themselves after the adults in their lives.  We found our daughter (who is really active and loud and rambunctious) just needed our attention a lot at that age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24223" LastEditorUserId="24223" LastEditDate="2016-08-31T23:39:59.340" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T23:39:59.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27001" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26993" CreationDate="2016-08-31T23:33:07.303" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At Bible school, she isn't there for more than an hour or so and she knows you are in the building.  It sounds like she is just despairing because she thinks you are not coming back.  Three is an age where they are just starting to reason things out.  You can try talking to her about daycare and the time.  Show her a clock and let her know that you WILL be back at &quot;this&quot; time.  It would be helpful if you had a clock with a face that you could show her the hour on it.  Even mark it with a sticky or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pinching and hair pulling is severe anxiety.  I'm not a professional, but perhaps it might be worth a counseling session or two with one to talk about it.  You could ask the daycare to intervene when they see her doing that behavior with a gentle &quot;Don't pinch&quot; and take her hand or &quot;Don't pull&quot; and take her hand.  Follow that with a short reminder on the clock face that Mommy is coming back at &quot;this&quot; time and point to the marking. Follow that with engagement in a favorite snack or toy with soothing sounds.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trouble is, they are going to have to do that every time until the habit breaks, but they need to do that or this behavior will possibly escalate.  Sounds like she's already escalating it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24223" LastActivityDate="2016-08-31T23:33:07.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27006" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27009" CreationDate="2016-09-01T13:00:37.597" Score="8" ViewCount="489" Body="&lt;p&gt;This question may seem a little strange, but I guess it does nonetheless have to do with parenting, or with how to relate with other parents and their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last evening my girlfriend and me were in a club where there was an &lt;a href=&quot;http://hartnovelty.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/hry_air-hockey.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;air hockey table&lt;/a&gt;. We wanted to play a round and started to get noticed by a curious little girl, who was the daughter of a couple who also was there. They didn't watch her closely (but hey, who could 100% of the time?). At some point she touched the surface where the disk bounces, and I told her not to do it again, because it was dangerous for her fingers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was stupid enough to not warn her that the disk may &quot;jump&quot;, and guess what happens? In a perfectly fine match (disk never ever jumped away from the field), one time the disk flies into her eye.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, it was not done on purpose, and I immediately felt bad about it. Neither me nor my girlfriend felt able to comfort the girl (it felt out of place for us to do it) and we called their parents to do it. We apologized too. The guy was absolutely friendly and basically said &quot;things happen&quot;, while the mother took care of the little girl. After a while, I saw the child smile again and noticed she didn't have any &quot;damage&quot;. I went to her and apologized to her too, explaining that we didn't do it on purpose, and asking if she was well now. I also shook her hand and presented myself and my girlfriend.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mother was ice-cold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I handle these kinds of situations, and avoid parents' rage? Was our behavior ok with the kid? Should we have comforted her right after the fact happened?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24265" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-23T17:24:38.380" LastActivityDate="2018-07-23T17:24:38.380" Title="Inadvertently hurting others' children" Tags="|primary-schooler|parents|pain|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27007" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-01T15:21:05.423" Score="10" ViewCount="2838" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was young, I'd had a daughter, &quot;Sam&quot;. She's now about to turn 17. Her mother and I never married, and never considered being together. I pay child support, and communicate frequently, but we have no real interaction outside of emails. Sam doesn't have any real interest in me, or my current family. I do now have another daughter, &quot;Rene&quot;, who is about to be 11. She doesn't know about Sam. I've not told her because I know how excited she would be to have a sibling, and how crushed she would be to find out that Sam wants nothing to do with her. Taking nothing away from Sam, Rene is an amazingly bright, happy, wonderful child. She's also very sensitive to her own feelings and the feelings of others. I know that Rene would be devastated to find out Sam would want nothing to do with her. And it would break my heart to see her go through that. My question is how do I tell her about Sam? Should I tell her about Sam? Should I have done so already? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24266" LastActivityDate="2016-09-04T12:20:03.350" Title="How do I tell my daughter she has a half-sister who wants nothing to do with her?" Tags="|development|communication|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27008" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-01T15:50:27.347" Score="1" ViewCount="741" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 17 year old son. His father and I divorced when he was 5. It was not a pleasant divorce at all. I at one point had to get a restrained order. For the first part of his life he spent most of his time with me. In the last 6 years he's been with his dad more often due to my work schedule. He has always been a kind hearted good child. At one point almost nerdy. Well six months his behavior was changing and he was pushy the rules. I also heard that he had a girlfriend from a mother of one of his classmates. She was instructed not to tell me because of her cultural background and I would be angry. But she told her mother to tell me anyway because she was concerned he was lying to me. When he came over questioned him about it and he lied. So, I blew it off and thought maybe it was just gossip. We pretty much got back on track after that. I was even wandering why he wasn't going to prom. I've encouraged him to date and that someday I'm looking forward to grandchildren, after college of course. He still continued to say he didn't have anyone to take. Fast forward to school starting, he has become more scarce and saying he is just hanging out with friends. So, I asked him again, no girlfriend. I proceeded to say really it's ok I'd like to meet her if there is one. Still lied. I turn to his BFF's mother, whom I've know both since he was 8. She spoke with her son and yes in fact there's a girlfriend and it's been going on since the original problems occurred, 6 months. I confronted his father, by the way not the first time I've asked him as well, and he finally admitted to me. They have both been lying to me about where is and with whom. He even allowed him to go out of town with her family without checking with me. I am by the way the primary custodial parent. In hurt on some many levels. First, my son will not call or text me back on the phone I pay for. Second, the enormous amounts of lies and deception. Lastly, the fact that he has lied to my whole family and hurt his grandmother as well. How can hi POS dad hold a grudge for this long? He is actually loving this and says I deserve it! Help please I love my son more than you can imagine and up til this were very close....&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24267" LastActivityDate="2016-09-05T11:30:59.520" Title="How do I get my son to talk to me?" Tags="|teen|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27009" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27006" CreationDate="2016-09-01T16:17:02.453" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a parent myself, I think you handled it in the best way possible. You informed her parents of the incident immediately, and you followed up later. If I had been that girl's parents, I'd been extremely happy with the follow up. It shows that you were indeed concerned for her beyond &quot;Will her parents be upset with me?&quot; You went above and beyond what could reasonably be expected. And this also taught you a lesson about being a little more aware of all the potential dangers, and this will come in handy in the future, as well as when you become a parent(if you're not already). All in all, kudos to you. I only wish more people were like this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24266" LastActivityDate="2016-09-01T16:17:02.453" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27010" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-01T19:15:46.947" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It really depends on your perspective.  When I was 8 my biological parents divorced and after some time they each found new wives.  All four of my parents had significant parts to play in raising me, so I consider myself to have three moms, although  I only call my biological mother &quot;mom.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a good thing your daughter calls your second wife &quot;mom.&quot;  If your second wife is ok with being called &quot;mom,&quot; then all is well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think you should consider telling your daughter sooner rather than later.  Once she is old enough to understand the reality (and that's your judgement call), then you should sit her down and explain.  If you wait until the situation arises organically (&quot;mommy, did I kick a lot when I was in your tummy?&quot;), then she may feel that she has been lied to, and nobody likes when that happens to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23409" LastActivityDate="2016-09-01T19:15:46.947" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27011" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26439" CreationDate="2016-09-01T19:33:40.140" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We used a baby formula soap on the first day of my daughter's life.  The nurse brought soapy water into the receiving room to give the first bath.  Like others had mentioned, use a soft cloth until the chord falls off and avid getting that wet or soapy.  Just like any person, the important parts are self evident.  And be sure to rinse thoroughly, especially below the waist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many people choose not to wash their hair every day, I am sure that either way is fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21444" LastActivityDate="2016-09-01T19:33:40.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27012" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-01T21:49:53.567" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Saying that your second wife if her real mom is a lie. &lt;strong&gt;You shouldn't ever lie to a children.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She was 2 year old as you remarried. It means, she can probably remember, that your wife weren't always with you, but in such a young age she doesn't do it very consciously. I suspect, her emotional binding to you is stronger, as to her mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you can do instead: simply say her, what is this whole thing. She probably doesn't really understand, what is death. Maybe once you can explain her these, and also from God.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, the only way to minimize her emotional stress about this would be the lie what the previous answers are suggesting. Instead, the true solution would be, as you explain things her from the death, explain also this to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Btw: the &quot;real mom&quot; is a bad terminology. Your current wife is also mom. There is no &quot;real mom&quot;. Maybe you can differentiate them ny their given names.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are very adaptive, they can easily learn that they all will grow up, they will age and finally they will die. Comparing this to that her mother is dead... Be simple, clear and honest, as always.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are an atheist, your task is much harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24274" LastActivityDate="2016-09-01T21:49:53.567" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27013" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26993" CreationDate="2016-09-02T01:59:26.800" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you have a stay-at-home parent option? Some kids are just not ready at 3 to let go of their attachment. A few kids' classes at the community center offer plenty of socialization. Your daughter is telling you loud and clear she's unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This daycare is a no-win situation. If you require daycare, you might consider switching. Go into a few different ones. Let your daughter choose; it will at least let her feel she has a voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T01:59:26.800" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27015" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27033" CreationDate="2016-09-02T04:39:56.317" Score="6" ViewCount="656" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (age 5) has ADHD and ODD and a disorder I forget, but basically issues because of her AWOL dad. He has past charges of smoking Marijuana in front of her. This is Pennsylvania, where it's illegal. She knows what &quot;drugs&quot; are and told me about a month later. He just got in trouble months back for beating and tattooing another inmate while he was unconscious after the judge gave him a warning to behave. He's been in jail countless times. Paid child support once. Always leaves her with a sitter instead of cherishing his weekends with her. He doesn't stay on the agreements. He has taken her from my home and not given her back into my care until I call the police who say they can't involve themselves even though we had custody in a now-over PFA I had against him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is to be released in October. I had to ask the jail to refuse mail and phone calls from him because he threatened me and my husband. He's the smart stupid. He knows as long as he doesn't mention that he can and would harm our child, physically or mentally, or that he will take her and move out of state, that I have no grounds to have his parental rights revoked. He convinces his family into getting my daughter to go see him. They ask her before me so I am the bad guy if I say no. He claims I keep him from being in her life but he kept doing and selling drugs. Showed up to probation drunk a day I was taking her to see him. He is always in and out of jail and even put hot sauce on her tongue when she was two because she &quot;talked back&quot;. She always begs me to see him and says she loves him. His separation and her knowing too much about him thanks to nosey family has caused her to be unruly and everytime we get her to a positive point he breaks her heart. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm currently attempting full custody. Am I right in this? Do I have a strong enough case to want this for her? I never would remove him totally because that's her decision when she is older. But he shows no urge to fix himself and I feel he should not be able to make any decisions in her life. I know he will try to take her when he gets out and is served with custody papers. What precautions should I take legally, if any? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the record she wouldn't even know him from the guy at Walmart if I didn't keep pushing their relationship the whole time. She thought my roommate's poster of wiz Kalfia two years ago was him, and later thought some guy at McDonalds was. All she knows and loves of him is because I let her have photos and I tell her stories painting him as good. I've recently stopped talking about him all together because he hasn't showed interest in being a real father in five years. I don't want to encourage his fake attitude anymore. I can't keep painting for her. But it's even harder watching him lie to her and crushing her over and over. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has a history of drugs, violence, guns, and more. My current fiance (husband in 4 weeks) has fathered her for 2 1/2 years. (He was her friend first easing into their relationship). Because of her love for her bio dad she will yell at me and tell me no matter wants to see him because of what he tells her. Am I wrong for taking his choices in her life away? He hasn't proved he can parent at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24275" LastEditorUserId="17182" LastEditDate="2016-09-03T16:08:39.223" LastActivityDate="2016-09-04T20:18:36.143" Title="Am I making the right decision for my child in removing the father’s choice?" Tags="|custody|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27016" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27007" CreationDate="2016-09-02T05:00:15.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you told Sam about Rene and that Sam's feeling of resentment or frustration toward you doesn't change the fact that she shares blood with rene. Ask her to put herself in renes shoes. But don't be pishy. It may just take time. What rene won't know at this point won't hurt her and when she is old enough to fully grasp it all she most likely won't resent you for a desicion her sister made. I have family that wants nothing to do with me.I didn't believe my mom when she told me after I was 16. I met them.even stayed with them.moved to their state even for two years ...wasn't worth my energy.they still aren't and I thank my mom for not telling me when I was younger and giving me that worry of a family not yet known&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24275" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T05:00:15.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27017" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27007" CreationDate="2016-09-02T06:18:45.183" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My dad had 3 marriages, and I knew that I have a sister from second, but never seen her. What I figured out when I was 27, that I have an even older half-brother. I can tell that I was surprised, but I could understand my dad being non-talking about it. But I was raised as single child and never was excited of having a brother. Anyway, it depends, and in my opinion there's no clear answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16128" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T06:18:45.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27018" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26439" CreationDate="2016-09-02T06:54:45.187" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Soap for newborn babies should be gentle and mild as a newborn baby’s skin is very delicate. Most of the time washing with lukewarm water would be enough, and when using soap, use soap from reputed brand, which contains natural oils and with little chems and is gentle on skin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24276" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T06:54:45.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27019" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26954" CreationDate="2016-09-02T14:21:07.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have two sons, 4 and 1.5, and they both went through a similar pattern at some point.  We were excited when at 3, 4, 5 months old we had &quot;good sleepers&quot; compared to some of our friends' kids, but then each went through (multiple) different periods of regression at some point.  Now they both generally sleep 11-12 hours every night, but you never know when you're going to have &quot;one of those weeks&quot;.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try to take the long view&lt;/strong&gt;.  Meaning that things will probably change, and change again in the near future, so don't worry too much about what's causing the behavior today, or this week.  Instead, try to work towards setting good nighttime patterns that will pay off in the future.  Whenever we &quot;intervened&quot; in our boys' nighttimes, we always kept lights as dark as possible, used very quiet voices, kept them in their own rooms/beds, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Experiment with different levels of intervention&lt;/strong&gt;.  In other words, when your son cries, don't necessarily go immediately to him and pick him up.  Try shushing from outside his door, or humming a little tune, or just patting/rubbing his belly.  Whatever intervention you make will be what he learns to expect, so the more you have to do to get him back down the more he'll get used to that.  In my experience, it's much nicer to just have to give a few pats for a minute than it is to have to pick up/rock/walk around.  (We actually had a period of time where we could shush one of our boys from our bedroom down the hall without even getting out of our bed.  At that point, I think he just needed to know we were out there somewhere, and a quick shush was enough verification for him.)  You never know what's going to work, so try some stuff out, and maybe you'll hit on his This-Is-The-Thing-I-Need-As-A-9-Month-Old-At-Night.  But of course, it will likely change again soon!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try to eliminate the nighttime feedings, but don't beat yourself up if you give in now and then&lt;/strong&gt;.  Your high-percentile 9-month-old probably doesn't &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; to eat during the night, but may instead use feeding as a way to feel comforted.  Try to find a different way to give that same comfort.  At the same time, you're probably a very tired person now, so don't get down on yourself if you occasionally go &quot;Nothing's working, screw it, I'm feeding him.&quot;  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are so many things that could cause this regression that I wouldn't worry about getting to the bottom of it.  Instead know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and he'll start sleeping again soon if you work on it together.  But of course also remember: there will be another tunnel after that!  Get as much sleep as you can now.  Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24282" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T14:21:07.233" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27020" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26968" CreationDate="2016-09-02T15:04:33.807" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are a few practical suggestions for getting meat/veggies into your kids that have worked for our boys, and that don't require much cooking expertise.  They basically involve incorporating the meat/veggies into other things that might be more appealing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Frittatas/Quiches&lt;/strong&gt;. Our boys generally like &quot;eggy things&quot; and so we often will bury veggies (sometimes with small hunks of sausage or ground meat) in these.  Frittatas are super easy to make, just beat 8 or so eggs together, add veggies (cut into small pieces) and cheese, and dump into a 12-inch pan over medium-low heat and let it sit for a while until set.  For a quiche, do almost the same thing, just add some cream and dump into a frozen pie shell and bake.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Veggie Mac &amp;amp; Cheese&lt;/strong&gt;. Whenever we do revert to the American standby of Mac &amp;amp; Cheese from the store, we &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; add veggies.  Usually I'll just dice pretty finely (so they can't be entirely picked out) some carrots/green beans/peas/bell peppers, saute them briefly, then add to the mac and cheese at the end and serve.  If your son likes mac &amp;amp; cheese, at least this'll be a dilemma for him!  (You can also add cut up meat of some sort if you'd like.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&quot;Tomato&quot; sauce&lt;/strong&gt;. Most kids love tomato sauce in some incarnation.  We will sometimes add cooked peppers, carrots, eggplant, squash or the like to tomato sauce in the blender, mix it all up, then use it as you would any tomato sauce.  They'll be none the wiser as long as it's not too obvious.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The nice part about this general approach is that it's kind of like a whole-meal-in-one-dish approach, so you don't have to put anything else on the table.  They're not choosing between the yummy thing they like and the pile of yucky veggies.  They just get to eat or not eat, and if they eat at all, they eat veggies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24282" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T15:04:33.807" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27021" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26999" CreationDate="2016-09-02T15:27:59.367" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think when we see young kids behaving in a certain way, we have a tendency to project that behavior forward to the kind of person they might one day be, or compare it to adults we know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, raising a generous child might be very important to me, so when my young child refuses to share something it upsets me.  Or I might want to raise a brave child, and so when my young child refuses to try something himself, it upsets me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this situation, it might've upset you because you want your son to be inclusive and welcoming and kind, but he pushed the other child away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The mistake is to think&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that the way the child is behaving now is the way he'll always continue to behave and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;that the child can necessarily change &lt;em&gt;right now&lt;/em&gt; to fix this.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, I'd use this analogy:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your son is walking on a very long road.  At the end of the road is the adult you'd like him to be.  But it's impossible for you, his father, to simply jump him to the end of the road.  Instead, your job is to generally keep him walking in the right direction and continuing down that road.  He will always try to wander off to the sides here and there, but you can gently move him back onto the path.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience with my sons (and with myself and other men in general), we never like to back down and lose an argument, and we like to think that every good decision was made on our own.  So instead, give him a path to better choices in the future. For example: &quot;Next time the other boy comes over, maybe you can find a toy for him to play with.&quot;  Just keep subtly directing him back on the path, and though it'll take time and many small interventions, your son is always listening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24282" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T15:27:59.367" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27022" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27007" CreationDate="2016-09-02T15:43:43.263" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You would absolutely not frame it as her half-sister wanting nothing to do with &lt;strong&gt;her&lt;/strong&gt;.  You frame it, correctly, as the daughter not wanting to be involved with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you need to explain &quot;why,&quot; tell her that you and her mom split up, and she feels hurt and rejected by not having you in her life as a full-time father, even if it wasn't an actual rejection by you, so she avoids contact and interaction because it reminds her of that hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, absolutely, do not allow your daughter to feel the rejection is in any way focused on her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When should you?  I don't have as clear an opinion on that, especially since I don't know your daughter's personality like you do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T15:43:43.263" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27023" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-02T15:57:16.313" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;You tell her when the opportunity arises naturally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, your daughter may see a pregnant woman, or you and your wife may be planning on having children together.  When this occurs, your daughter will almost certainly ask a question like, &quot;Did I grow in your tummy too, mommy?&quot;  At that point you or your wife simply say, in a matter-of-fact way, &quot;No, you grew in another mommy's tummy.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;And then you let your daughter guide the conversation.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you treat it as something matter-of-fact and don't make a big production of sitting down and telling her, then she will also treat it as matter-of-fact.  She may have more questions immediately or she may not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, she will ask, &quot;Why did I grow in another mommy's tummy?&quot; or &quot;Then why is mommy my mommy instead of the other mommy?&quot; or a similar question.  You respond with a matter of fact answer: &quot;When you were born, you had another mommy, but she wasn't able to take care of you.&quot;  And continue to let her guide the conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she asks, &quot;Why wasn't my other mommy able to take care of me?&quot; then explain that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This way the conversation grows and evolves naturally, and there's no implication that your wife isn't your daughter's &quot;real&quot; mother.  If she asks about whether she had another daddy too, then you simply tell her, &quot;No, daddy has always been your daddy,&quot; and answer any questions that may come out of that as well (&quot;Why did I have another mommy but not another daddy?&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A few notes about this approach:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make certain your wife is in agreement, because she will likely be the one to be asked about it first (and she will likely be asked most of the questions, since it's about her role in your daughter's life).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The keys to this approach are to answer question immediately, truthfully, age-appropriately, and in a matter-of-fact manner.  An example of this is the reply we gave our sons when they asked about where babies came from at age 3; with our older son, these questions were spaced out, but with the younger the two questions came back-to-back.  Notice that these answers are both age-appropriate and truthful--they don't contradict anything learned later about human development:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The first answer was, &quot;Babies grow inside mommies until they're born.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When they asked how babies got there, the reply was: &quot;When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much and in a very special way, sometimes a baby starts to grow inside the mommy.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't give all the information at once.  Let your daughter guide the conversation.  I.e., at age 3 or 4, she will probably not immediately take the conversation to the point that you would need to tell her that your first wife died, especially during childbirth.  When she's ready for that information, she'll ask questions that will naturally and easily lead you into discussing it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fortunately, this isn't a topic we've had to grapple with, but this is an approach we've used successfully to discuss many things with our children over the years, including the ever-dreaded, &quot;Where do babies come from?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16470" LastEditorUserId="16470" LastEditDate="2017-11-06T11:24:38.090" LastActivityDate="2017-11-06T11:24:38.090" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27024" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27008" CreationDate="2016-09-02T16:07:54.507" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you have a problem with the cultural background of his girlfriend?  Do you speak disparagingly about other cultures or races in the household?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you hold those kinds of views and espouse them on a regular basis, and it seems like you might if that's the reason he's hiding this from you in such a determined fashion, then it is understandable that if he starts to feel affection for a girl who you indirectly disparage, that he would (A) be reluctant to share that with you, and (B) act out emotionally against your authority in the home.  It's also understandable, if that's your attitude, that his father might be on his side in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of trying to paint yourself as the victimized saint and them as problem children and nefarious exs, perhaps an evaluation of your own behavior will be necessary if you want your son to feel he can share these kinds of things with you, and you can re-establish the bond between you and improve his general behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note - &quot;improve,&quot; at that age, might not just mean obedience to you.  He's almost an adult and a man, in his own right. You might have to find a way for both of you to acknowledge each others' identity as individuals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T16:07:54.507" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27025" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7190" CreationDate="2016-09-02T16:57:10.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was about 12, she told me that she and her best friend since early in elementary school were now a couple.  Now, in my mind, this could have been the real deal - she knew and recognized her gay or bi-sexual identity and was moving forward with it, it could have been her trying to put some structure on her deep affection and closeness with her best friend, it could even have been her testing to see if dad's &quot;it doesn't matter&quot; public stance was authentic or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All in all, it doesn't matter, and there's no way I'm going to be able to control that even if I thought it did matter, so I said &quot;Oh.  Really?  Good for you,&quot; and left it at that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About eight months later she was talking about boys in a more heterosexual context, and I said &quot;I thought that you were gay and you were dating so-and-so?&quot;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;No, I guess I'm not sure where I'm at.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, at 17, she's more in the firmly &quot;like boys&quot; camp (her friend, still her best friend, is gay and of unspecified outward gender identity).  In my case, it was choice #2 where she was sorting out her feelings and identity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But, ultimately, what it comes down to is that she will be who she is.  Fretting about it and trying to control it, or acting like there's something wrong with it will only alienate her and poison your relationship with your child.  If it winds up that this is her alignment, so to speak, support and love her as you would if it wasn't.  The only thing that matters is that she is your daughter, and you love her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2016-09-02T17:55:06.397" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T17:55:06.397" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27028" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-02T20:15:51.433" Score="3" ViewCount="1112" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler is a bit over 2 and refuses to drink milk from anything but a bottle with a nipple. We have tried everything but my child just won't budge. Once we even went for a week with no milk. My child seems perfectly willing to completely phase out milk to avoid drinking it from a cup, straw, or anything but a bottle. So I have to choose between keeping my child on the nipple and drinking milk or phasing both out. Which is the least bad option for my child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24289" LastActivityDate="2023-02-20T14:20:55.340" Title="Toddler refuses to drink milk from cup. Phase out bottle?" Tags="|toddler|bottle-feeding|milk|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27029" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27028" CreationDate="2016-09-02T22:26:54.377" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Will your child drink water from a cup?  And does your child like milk-substitute products like cheese, yogurt, etc?  If so, you might want to just rely on those.  It's never a good idea to turn mealtime into conflict situation.  Eventually, your child's memories of drinking from a nipple will fade and you can reintroduce milk.  In the meantime, make certain to feed lots of milk products to get proper nutrition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T22:26:54.377" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27030" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-02T23:06:39.657" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that for a very young child the concept of her natural mother not being around is a fairly distant one and not something which is going to be particularly disruptive to her current frame of reference ie it doesn't really &lt;em&gt;change&lt;/em&gt; anything for her to know. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By extension as she gets older and starts to understand the concept of parents in a wider context it may be more upsetting or her to find out that her concept of her mother isn't quite what she imagines it to be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With this in mind it is probably no bad thing to introduce the concept of having another mother right now. Indeed you may want to introduce her to some of the same memories you have of her yourself through photographs  etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This may be a little awkward for you and your new relationship but it's not as if anybody involved has done anything wrong by any stretch of the imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To put it another way it may be a bit complex for your 3 year old child to understand but at least if you bring it up it is out there to talk about. Otherwise if you keep it quiet how are you going to explain it when she is 16 or 18 ?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also steer clear of any overtly religious metaphors to explain death these tend not to be very helpful to young children and I think you owe it to them to let them form their own opinions on the fine detail of religion and metaphysics. By all means express your own beliefs and hopes but give her the space to come to her own conclusions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also entirely reasonably that she should see your new wife as her mother as that is her only experience of motherhood . &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider also that if you tell her the bald facts as you have posed them in this question how bad could it possibly be ? Nothing actually changes in her life and she is as aware of the facts as she can be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22264" LastActivityDate="2016-09-02T23:06:39.657" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27031" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-03T02:30:55.990" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that the first step is to talk to your wife about what kind of relationship she wants with your daughter.  If she wants to be mom, then you might even consider deferring to her wishes on how to handle this question, since going forward, she is going to be fulfilling all the mothering roles for your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T02:30:55.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27032" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27028" CreationDate="2016-09-03T02:34:51.600" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Drinking from a bottle on an ongoing basis can be quite bad for a child's teeth, causing tooth decay and other problems.  On the other hand, cow's milk on a continuing basis is completely optional; your child can get equally high quality protein and fat from meat and calcium from green leafy vegetables.  Unless you are talking about pumped breast milk, I would say that phasing both out is the better option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T02:34:51.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27033" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27015" CreationDate="2016-09-03T02:50:24.063" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a father who tends to think the legal system is biased in favor of the mother, but in this case, assuming that you are not involved in drugs and such yourself, I think you're right to seek full legal and physical custody.  You might consider letting the father have supervised visitation only.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-09-03T21:59:40.250" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T21:59:40.250" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27034" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4397" CreationDate="2016-09-03T03:22:28.813" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Keep trying new foods.  I have a son who is a very picky eater - except he will eat healthy amounts of rare steak, normal sized servings of premium ice cream, and all the apples I can peel for him.  He gets a lot of steak, ice cream, and peeled apples.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T03:22:28.813" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27035" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27006" CreationDate="2016-09-03T03:32:00.487" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a parent of two kids in that age range, and I think you handled it fine, given it was in a club.  I'm not sure I'd say the same of the parents who brought a 6 or 7 year old to a club and didn't watch her more carefully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it had been in a hotel or someplace where kids would be more common, you might have asked the girl to stand away from the table a bit.  Really, though, it's the parents' job to watch carefully enough to warn her about that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that there might have been other dynamics at work.  For example, it's possible going there was the dad's idea and the mom was mad at him, rather than at you, for what had happened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T03:32:00.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27036" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12429" CreationDate="2016-09-03T03:56:27.823" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bullies tend to have more experience with fighting than other kids.  The advice your mother gave you might just get you beaten up worse, unless you have martial arts training.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And that's probably the best advice:  get martial arts training for your kid.  Most martial arts also teach lessons about not starting fights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T03:56:27.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27037" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26959" CreationDate="2016-09-03T04:20:58.447" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Breastmilk has a lot of natural antibiotics and antivirals and keeps lots, lots longer than pasteurized milk, formula, or most other foods.  You can usually leave it out at room temperature all day - say, 8 hours - and it will still be good.  You can keep it in the refrigerator for at least a week before it goes bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it does go bad, you'll be able to smell it, just like pasteurized milk that goes bad.  Baby will also be able to taste it and will likely refuse it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T04:20:58.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27038" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26871" CreationDate="2016-09-03T04:29:22.643" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Calories and other storable nutrients are not really that important at that stage of the pregnancy, although my wife and most women I know reported that getting some protein first thing in the morning helped.  Folic acid is important at that stage, so your wife might want to take appropriate supplements.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T04:29:22.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27039" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26941" CreationDate="2016-09-03T04:46:59.070" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason commercial nightgowns don't do this is because of consumer product safety commission regulations requiring children's nightclothes to be either self extinguishing or close fitting to avoid burns.  A zippered nightgown leaves the manufacturer open to lawsuit if the parents leave it unzipped and then drop a cigarette butt on it when they fall asleep and the child ends up burned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That shouldn't be an issue when making a personal gift, especially if the parents don't smoke, so you're free to use or create a design with a zipper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T04:46:59.070" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27041" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-03T18:51:45.543" Score="19" Body="&lt;p&gt;A little about myself...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My Mom married my Dad when I was 5. At 12, she revealed to me that he wasn't my biological father. It was absolutely traumatic and devastating. It felt like my life was a lie. It felt like &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; was a lie, a fake, a sham of a person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No young person should ever have to feel this way. If you tell your child the truth now, while they're young enough for this to be &lt;em&gt;their normal&lt;/em&gt;, they won't even bat an eye. They'll accept it for precisely what is and not give it much of a second thought. Do your kid the favor and be honest about who they are sooner rather than later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, it's completely &lt;em&gt;okay&lt;/em&gt; for your child to call your current wife Mom. She is their Mom. My biological father is not my Dad, the man who raised me is. A bit different for your child, they simply have two Mom's. Not a big deal at all. My step children know very well and are very comfortable with the fact that they have two pairs of parents. Mostly because that just is their life, it's normal for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11968" LastEditorUserId="11968" LastEditDate="2016-09-03T19:37:45.167" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T19:37:45.167" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27042" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-03T18:52:39.747" Score="2" ViewCount="1025" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5 year old daughters hair is very thick and very curly. I am well aware of proper hair care, protective braids and curls.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes she wants it straight. I've encouraged her to embrace her natural beauty (I wish I had her curls!). However she is 5 and very smart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to know if there is a way I can temporarily straighten her hair and without it poofing outward without ruining her natural curls?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has very small twists type curls and no straight hair anywhere. I don't want to hurt her hair by chemicals or perms or semi perms. If there's a way I'd love to know it! Just to make her day every now and then and give her that pep in her step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24275" LastEditorUserId="24221" LastEditDate="2016-09-07T16:35:33.717" LastActivityDate="2017-10-23T08:13:59.240" Title="How to temporarily straighten very thick and curly hair?" Tags="|hair|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27043" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8692" CreationDate="2016-09-03T19:14:54.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have read that that main cause for crooked teeth is due to a narrow upper palate and narrow jaw.  These two areas are widened by the kind of sucking during breastfeeding. To receive milk from a bottle us much different, less effort.  It also creates a more pleasing looking facial structure.  It is recommended to breastfeed for at least three years for straight teeth that fit easily.  You can tell your child is on the right track to straight teeth if their baby teeth have spaces between them.  It worked for our kids even though my husband and I had terrible teeth and braces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24299" LastActivityDate="2016-09-03T19:14:54.520" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27044" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27046" CreationDate="2016-09-03T23:01:05.597" Score="1" ViewCount="3144" Body="&lt;p&gt;The top-voted answers to this question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/20835/should-a-newborn-be-allowed-to-sleep-all-night-or-be-woken-up-to-eat-more&quot;&gt;Should a newborn be allowed to sleep all night, or be woken up to eat more?&lt;/a&gt; suggest that, in general, is not a good idea to let newborns sleep through the night without feeding, especially in the first two weeks. I've got this advice from many other sources as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I have not been able to find is what are the long-term effects of doing that, for example in adolescence or adult life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24300" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-09-05T15:26:29.667" Title="Long-term effects of leaving newborn sleep through the night without feeding" Tags="|newborn|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27045" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8692" CreationDate="2016-09-04T02:22:44.363" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'll just add a couple more possibilities, since the causes are not fully known.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crooked teeth are due to teeth that do not all fit into the jaw.  That can in turn be caused either by a jaw that is too small, or by teeth that are too large.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Vitamin D is critical to bone growth, so inadequate vitamin D could contribute to inadequate jaw development.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tooth size is a function of calcium intake, to a larger extend than bone size, so getting too much calcium - for example, drinking lots of milk - could cause the teeth to be too large.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of these may have contributed to my crooked teeth.  Years of orthodontics did nothing, but removal of my tricuspids eventually allowed the rest of my teeth to straighten out.  Unfortunately, the third molars in my lower jaw were impacted - they grew in sideways - crowding my lower teeth and causing them to become crooked again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-04T02:22:44.363" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27046" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27044" CreationDate="2016-09-04T05:18:30.927" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would assume studies on the long term effects of mistreating newborns are few and far between.  Added to the fact that if they arent cared for properly during the first bit they may not get proper nutrition throught childhood so effects could be skewed by later effects as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for lacking nutrition early on i would suspect doctors may pick it up early on based on weighings.  All babies lose some weight from their birth weight (fluids as well as a bit of time before mothers milk fully comes in).  At 10% loss doctors become concerned, at 20% your likely in a childrens hospital somewhere.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our child lost a bit over 10% due to low milk supply and was looking fairly gaunt at a couple weeks to a month and was diagnosed with &quot;failure to thrive&quot; which got us some pumped milk from the milk bank.  Once sufficient nutrition was sorted she quickly gained back the weight. Since then she has been around 50% weight at dr check ins and is doing great at 1.5years.  Stronger and quicker then many other toddlers at the same age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So from a nutrition standpoint i dont think 2 weeks is going to do any long term damage,  i do think you will have a unhappy and hungry baby though as their stomachs are only big enough to hold a few hours worth of food at a time (breastmilk which tjey do process a bit faster then formula).  For us at least an unhappy baby would mean we dont sleep since she was in our room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this wasnt a direct answer to your question, as stated in the beginning i doubt there will be much scientific research that can isolate that specific cause to long term effects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24164" LastActivityDate="2016-09-04T05:18:30.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27047" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27206" CreationDate="2016-09-04T09:34:44.950" Score="10" ViewCount="63000" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby is almost 6 months old, and we have a week-long vacation booked for 2 days from now. Suddenly, my mom got really scared because a friend told her that a baby left alone at this age (6-18 months) can be scarred for life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I'd like some advice, mainly two questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Is it true that leaving such a young baby with his grandparents could create long-term trauma? I'd appreciate links to professional articles that both agree or disagree with this claim.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Since the baby is not actually 6 months yet (she will be 6 the day we plan to return) - does it change anything?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt; &#xA;Wanted to let you know that we ended up taking the trip, and except for the day we got back, the baby seemed to behave exactly the same as she did before we left her. The first day she cried more than usual, I think it was more due to the emotional atmosphere of both my wife being so excited to have her back, and my parent's having a hard time letting her go :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24304" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-30T17:10:02.897" LastActivityDate="2024-01-15T09:01:23.297" Title="Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?" Tags="|infant|separation|mental-health|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27048" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27007" CreationDate="2016-09-04T12:20:03.350" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Imagine being in Sam's shoes. You're 17 and your dad, who never really cared to connect with you, now wants you to connect with his daughter, whom you have no interest in meeting, instead of showing an interest to mend the relationship between you two.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For Sam, Rene is a symbol of you moving on and not caring about her. By expecting Sam to care about Rene, your just rubbing salt into her wounds, you're the one being selfish. Just leave Sam alone and don't force Rene into her life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My own dad remarried and had another daughter when I was 16, and I feel like what Sam is feeling must be stronger versions of feelings I've had myself at that time, That's why I thing you should not force Rene into Sam's life at all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24309" LastActivityDate="2016-09-04T12:20:03.350" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27050" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27015" CreationDate="2016-09-04T20:18:36.143" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your input ! I apreciate it.I just got notified by his mother that he has been seeing a councilor and he requests a visit with me to talk to him like an adult about his daughter. Aparently his most recent hearing has him in line to be sent upstate to state prison and not the jail he was supposed to be released from in october. I have mixed feelings on it but I am defiantly continuing with full custody and am going to have an open mind to what he has to say.supervised visits after his release in whatever time that will be is the safest and best option. Thank you. Before this forum I wasn't sure if I was making the right choice and now I feel that as her mom I know what is best. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24275" LastActivityDate="2016-09-04T20:18:36.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27052" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-04T23:21:08.113" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Absolutely tell her the truth as soon as possible, or it will make you a lier and her life a lie. At two you have a golden opportunity to have the situation seem natural. The longer you wait, the more it will seem like her situation has something tainted, which is why you would have chosen to wait so long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beofett definitely has the right approach. I think many others are giving bad advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kid's understand about death. Tell her what a wonderful person her birth mother was. How beautiful she was. How much you miss her. And that you both love her current mom very much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any pictures, share them. What about the birth mother's family? Are they in the picture?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be tricky stuff going on here that has yet been unsaid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I think you are getting great ideas here with stuff to think about, but they will be no substitute from a skilled child counselor. People study these sorts of things, what approaches have been used, and what the outcomes are. They know more than we might realize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contrary to how many view science, they will also know that one size does not fit all. I expect that before giving advice they will ask you a lot of questions about yourself, your daughter, her birth mother, her now mother, and details about the whole situation. They will give educated advice from there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wish you the best of luck. Remember, the most important thing in all of this is that your daughter know that you love her and her now mom and always do your best to care care of your current family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11342" LastActivityDate="2016-09-04T23:21:08.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27055" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27008" CreationDate="2016-09-05T11:30:59.520" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I gave him his space. We talked and I accepted my fault in the situation as did he.  At the end of the day I will have to be careful of my opinions in the future now that he is dating. As for his dad I'm not speaking with him, he is and always has been a liar. My goal is eventually when he marries is to gain a daughter and not lose my son. Thank you for the advice other than Warren.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24267" LastActivityDate="2016-09-05T11:30:59.520" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27056" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27058" CreationDate="2016-09-05T12:42:20.430" Score="9" ViewCount="481" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend, who I just recently got together with, has a daughter who will soon turn three. I would like to be a good stepfather to the girl, but I have very little experience of toddlers, and don't really know how to win their trust or how to play with then. Obviously I will also be talking to my girlfriend about this and asking for her advice, but I'd also appreciate any other thoughts. How does one &quot;become friends&quot; with a toddler? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things that I've thought of so far:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;just hang around and give the child time to get used to me being there&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;watch how other adults play with her and take hints from that&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;just try to generally project a friendly attitude and let her cuteness and adorableness (as well as the cuteness of seeing her play together with her mother, the two of them are really adorable to watch together) make me feel happy; children can generally sense when someone likes them&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24323" LastActivityDate="2016-09-05T16:28:07.440" Title="How to &quot;get to know&quot; my girlfriend's toddler?" Tags="|toddler|play|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27057" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-05T13:47:52.010" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The &quot;real&quot; mother in all cases is the one that invests the time, effort and love needed to nurture the child. The person that donates the DNA but has no other investment in the child is not the &quot;real&quot; mother. In this particular case, your wife died in childbirth, which is quite sad, and you have my condolences. I think you should tell your daughter about mom when she turns 18. But for now, you're only sowing the seeds for a rebellious relationship if you tell your child that the woman bringing her up is not her mother. I can imagine all sorts of angry statements &quot;You're not my mom, you can't tell me what to do&quot;. That will cause resentment and bad feelings on both sides, and destroy a budding relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24324" LastActivityDate="2016-09-05T13:47:52.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27058" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27056" CreationDate="2016-09-05T14:39:35.170" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't overthink it, just do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Nearly) every parent is inexperienced with toddlers the first time they have one around, learning on the job is standard. To help with this, toddlers can and will express their needs and wants, usually very loudly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one area that you do need to get right is rules and discipline. Talk to your girlfriend, copy her regimen and try to always back each other up, or you will have a child ruthlessly playing the two of you against each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-09-05T14:39:35.170" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27059" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-05T16:03:21.380" Score="6" ViewCount="1124" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bear with me, as I'm not very good with statistics. As far as I can tell the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/sids/data.htm&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;risk of SIDS as of 2014 is 1 in 2,500 according to the CDC (obtained by reducing the 38.7 deaths per 100,000 to lowest terms)&lt;/a&gt;. However, the CDC gives no information about the risk of SIDS for a baby whose parents follow all the recommended guidelines. In other words, the SIDS statistics include parents that smoked and wrapped children in large warm blankets. Is there any information about the risk of SIDS for a child which prone sleeps in a situation with a firm mattress, non-smoking parents, no extra bedding, etc.? It would also be great to know the risk of SIDS for the same baby sleeping on his back too. Please include sources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only information I could find on the risks of SIDS without other risk factors is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.heracliteanriver.com/?p=97&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this blog&lt;/a&gt;. It states:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Taking this into account, for people who have no other risk factors, here are the new odds (roughly):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;— Chances of a prone-sleeping infant succumbing to SIDS with no other risk factors: about 1 in 20,000 (range 10,000–25,000)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;— Chances of a supine-sleeping infant succumbing to SIDS with no other risk factors: about 1 in 50,000 (range 25,000–60,000)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note — the numbers don’t quite match up with the other statistics quoted above, because the estimates were generated from a few different studies and calculated in a couple different ways.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, the author admits that he cannot provide sources but claims that he looked at several medical studies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user13449" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T20:15:15.727" Title="What is the risk of SIDS for babies which sleep on their stomach (no other risk factors)?" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27061" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27056" CreationDate="2016-09-05T16:28:07.440" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children that age like to be read to, some also like to do puzzles, simple games (including memory).  Some kids also really like to be tickled or scared (&quot;I'm a monster and I'm going to eat you, &lt;em&gt;grrr&lt;/em&gt;.&quot;).  Finally, once you are comfortable with each other, you can throw her in the air (watch out for low ceilings, hanging lamps or low doorways) or swing her around in circles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are all things my own 3-year old daughter really likes...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-09-05T16:28:07.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27063" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27059" CreationDate="2016-09-05T23:08:06.823" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that the position in that blog is likely to be close to the truth.  The dirty little secret is that SIDS is likely most closely related to parental, and in particular maternal, alcoholism and overweight.  Alcohol makes it less likely that a parent will wake up in response to sounds of distress from the infant; the mechanism for overweight is less clear, but the correlation exists.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an article showing that diagnosed alcoholism in the mother increases the chance of SIDS by a factor of 7, accounting for at least 16% of SIDS deaths:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23439895&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23439895&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Considering how much alcohol use does not rise to the level of alcoholism, and how much alcoholism is undiagnosed, alcohol accounts for a large chunk of SIDS deaths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is a study saying that maternal overweight and obesity accounts for a 1 in 4000 chance of infant death:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g6572&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g6572&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The study is from Sweden so it didn't use the SIDS classification, but if many of those are SIDS cases, that would account for another big chunk of SIDS deaths, perhaps more than half.  U.S. studies have come up with similar risk factors.  While being obese only increases the chances of infant death by about a factor of 2, rather than the factor of 7 for alcoholism, obesity is so much more common that it probably accounts for a larger absolute number of deaths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that another risk factor is having the infant sleeping in a different room from the parents, presumably because it's more difficult to hear a distressed infant in a different room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, don't drink, control your weight, and have the baby in the same room as you, along with the care you are taking with bedding and such, and you should have covered most of the major bases.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-05T23:08:06.823" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27064" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20093" CreationDate="2016-09-06T04:18:38.110" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Step in and end the  relationship. My son was in the sameposition. He is now 21 and living with her. Her behaviors are emotional abuse. I wish I'd done something sooner. Now it's too late for me. Don't  let the same happen to your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24327" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T04:18:38.110" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27065" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27067" CreationDate="2016-09-06T04:46:55.237" Score="15" ViewCount="5498" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.eruptingmind.com/the-effect-of-parents-on-a-childs-psychological-development/&quot;&gt;http://www.eruptingmind.com/the-effect-of-parents-on-a-childs-psychological-development/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Or perhaps as a teenager they confided in a parent about the pain they felt regarding a relationship which had ended, but instead of receiving comfort and understanding, they were simply told &amp;#8220;&lt;em&gt;not to worry about it&lt;/em&gt;&amp;#8221; and &amp;#8220;&lt;em&gt;things like this happen&lt;/em&gt;&amp;#8220;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  Throughout the child&amp;#8217;s life, they constantly craved to be seen and understood by their parents. To be visible. But instead, they were made to feel ignored and misunderstood. Invisible.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is the proper way to respond in this situation instead of saying &lt;em&gt;&quot;Do not worry about it&quot; / &quot;Or things like this happen&quot;&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Why is saying the above statements bad?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T21:14:42.980" Title="How should the parent respond when a teenager tells about their ended relationship?" Tags="|teen|relationships|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27066" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-06T07:02:24.060" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you should tell her about this while she is studying in 4th or 5th class. This is because at this age we can manage to control the emotions of the daughter without much issues.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24330" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T07:02:24.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27067" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27065" CreationDate="2016-09-06T08:04:35.643" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;A teenager will almost certainly have the mindset of &quot;you're too old to understand what I'm feeling&quot; never thinking that you were young once and perhaps experienced the exact same thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To a teenager, learning about these feelings they might not have had before, every love is true love and it consumes them completely so when it ends, they feel empty and don't know what to do with themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So saying &quot;don't worry about it&quot; to them, is ridiculous.  Why wouldn't they worry about it?  They're never going to feel like this again.  For them, it's like telling not to worry they've cut their arm off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Same with &quot;things like this happen&quot;.  Yes they do.  Relationships start and end every day but at that age, it's an end of the world event.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Saying these things will only reinforce the child's belief that you, the parent doesn't know what you're talking about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice (and it is strictly my advice) is to let the teenager do the talking. Don't try to put your own experience on it or tell them about the time it happened to you. Just listen, nod, hug if needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16168" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-09-06T14:16:41.497" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T14:16:41.497" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27068" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27065" CreationDate="2016-09-06T13:28:57.673" Score="15" Body="&lt;p&gt;Remembering my teenage times, statements like&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Things like this happen&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;aren't helping you feel less sad. Of course most teenagers cognitively know that relationships can break apart, and by telling them this they feel talked down to. They &lt;strong&gt;know&lt;/strong&gt; that, but that doesn't make them feel better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If someone is grieving over something else, would it be a good idea to tell them &quot;things like this happen&quot; or &quot;don't worry about it&quot;? I don't think anyone would feel taken seriously if you said something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might feel like one of the worst moments of the teenagers life to them and by saying things like that, you'll seem like you're trying to take the (subjective) gravitas of the situation away. Teenagers are somewhere between childhood and adulthood, and by just &quot;waving their problems away&quot; this matter, you are effectively treating them like children again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What is the proper way to respond in this situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The proper way is to take them seriously. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They probably feel completely and utterly lost now, so be a bit careful on how you word things. Maybe tell them that you yourself felt like this at one point. Make them feel understood, make them believe you that almost everybody went through this at one point, but they all made it in the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it also heavily depends on your child and your relationship to them. I'll bet there are some parents out there who could cheer up their teenage children with some slightly cynical jokes. Some others might just be there and listen. Again others might do some activity to take their childs' mind off of the ex-partner. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It all depends on who they are as a person and how your relationship is. Just don't ignore it or hand-wave it away and you'll probably do fine, because you know your kids :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24031" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T13:28:57.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27069" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27065" CreationDate="2016-09-06T15:11:59.927" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;While your teen may not want to discuss the recently-ended relationship with mom or dad, it's important to show that you take it seriously (even if you're secretly doing your happy dance).  So the best way to open a discussion is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;So, how does that make you feel?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;How are you doing?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;or even just&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Are you OK?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your teen may not want to discuss the why or the how, but he or she will likely be willing to answer that question, especially if you're willing to listen to the answer.  And if you listen to that, the conversation may turn to the why or the how (they did for us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although you may not have seen the relationship as &quot;serious,&quot; remember that, to your teen, this is a major life event, especially if it's his or her first relationship.  As others have mentioned, they're unlikely to listen to platitudes (&quot;There's someone else out there!&quot;) and will shut down if you offer them.  Just...listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16470" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T15:11:59.927" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27073" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27065" CreationDate="2016-09-06T17:35:24.053" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;If one of your adult friends says they're breaking up with their partner, would you just tell them &quot;these things happen, get over it&quot;?  Of course not.  So why would anyone think it is any less insensitive to say that to a teenager going through the exact same emotions?  Think what you'd say to an adult going through a breakup, and apply the same level of sympathy and empathy to the teenager.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Probably all of us have been there ourselves.  If someone can't empathise with someone going through an experience which you've also been through, then they're a pretty poor excuse for a human being.  That quote suggests they've been a pretty crappy parent anyway, so perhaps this is just more of the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14637" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T17:35:24.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27074" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-06T19:59:06.887" Score="8" ViewCount="825" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm looking for research papers and studies from disinterested (social) scientists, rather than magazine fluff-pieces or anything funded by the &lt;a href=&quot;http://ami-global.org&quot;&gt;AMI&lt;/a&gt; or similar. The trivial google of &quot;Montessori research&quot; doesn't pull up much that passes the sniff-test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17698" LastEditorUserId="33055" LastEditDate="2019-10-24T10:43:43.763" LastActivityDate="2021-11-09T09:15:11.733" Title="Has any research been done on benefits of Montessori schooling?" Tags="|pre-schooler|school|research|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27075" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27059" CreationDate="2016-09-06T20:15:15.727" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm afraid I don't have the exact statistics that you're asking for but here is an interesting article about how the advice to put babies on their backs for sleeping came to be so widely recommended and campaigned for:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/aug/26/back-to-sleep-sudden-infant-death-syndrome-cot-death-peter-fleming&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/aug/26/back-to-sleep-sudden-infant-death-syndrome-cot-death-peter-fleming&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This advice has saved a huge number of lives. According to the article:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;(SIDS) became an epidemic between 1970 and 1991, and, at its peak, babies in some of the world’s richest countries were dying at the rate of one in every 250 live births each year.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since the campaign to put babies on their backs to sleep, the SIDS death rate in England and Wales in 2013 was one in every 3,000. This particular article doesn't say how many of these 1 in 3000 babies were sleeping on their back or front or have other risk factors but you could make a rough assumption that before the campaign, the majority of babies were put to sleep their tummies as that was the advice and since the campaign, most babies sleep on their backs, resulting in around a ten fold reduction in SIDS deaths.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the time when this link was discovered between front sleeping and SIDS, the sleeping position was the main thing that was changed, leading to this massive reduction in deaths:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;In December 1991 the Back to Sleep campaign was launched. Sids deaths in the UK fell instantly, and with astonishing speed. In 1989 there were 1,545 Sids deaths. Now there are barely 200 a year.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The 200 a year may be related to other risk factors or parents who are unaware of or don't follow the advice. It seems that however careful you are about the other risk factors, on this basis, the simple advice of having your baby sleep on its back is most likely worth following.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2016-09-06T20:15:15.727" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27076" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27078" CreationDate="2016-09-06T21:46:55.080" Score="5" ViewCount="280" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just got a phone call from other parents where my son played yesterday and they informed me they have lice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We used the anti lice shampoo and combed out roughly 20 lice, some of them clearly grown up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Could it be that he got lice just yesterday? I would have thought that he only has a few lice then if he got them just yesterday? So I am wondering if he had lice for longer than just since yesterday.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24344" LastActivityDate="2016-09-07T12:11:53.337" Title="Son has roughly 20 lice. Could he got them just yesterday?" Tags="|lice|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27077" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12805" CreationDate="2016-09-07T01:30:44.580" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;When I was just 3-4 years old I would walk 11 miles per day everyday in 50 degrees so I think that your daughter is fine&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24345" LastActivityDate="2016-09-07T01:30:44.580" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27078" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27076" CreationDate="2016-09-07T12:11:53.337" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's fairly unlikely that your son would have gotten that many head lice from one play session.  Head lice normally transfer from hair to hair contact, which tends to be fleeting enough that the normal mode of infection is a single louse that then lays eggs.  It's more likely that your son got infected a couple of weeks ago and most of the lice are grown up from having hatched on his head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you are combing with a nit comb, clean the comb onto a clean white plate or paper towel, and see if you are combing out any louse eggs or nits.  Louse eggs are dark; hatched and dead eggs are white.  You can also examine his hair for nits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might want to inspect the rest of the family as well, and consider getting a professional inspection done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-07T12:11:53.337" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27079" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27065" CreationDate="2016-09-07T14:03:06.573" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;One time I broke up with a girl in high school. I was pretty wrecked about it. I remember the subdued atmosphere the next day after I told my parents that we broke up. Seeing that I was distressed about it, my dad told me: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;If it hurts, that means it meant something.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This gave me a lot of comfort. To him, the pain was good, because if a breakup was easy, then what would that have said about the relationship? If you can't or won't change the breakup, acknowledge the pain, find some things to be grateful for in the moment, and let that console you as you figure out how to move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Perhaps that's only good advice for the person who ended the relationship and not for someone who got dumped, but I figured I'd pass it along anyways.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24347" LastActivityDate="2016-09-07T14:03:06.573" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27080" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27081" CreationDate="2016-09-07T19:39:27.890" Score="3" ViewCount="1772" Body="&lt;p&gt;I love to run and I love to run in the nature. I bought a stroller for running and today it was my first (beautiful) running experience with my 8-month-old baby, but I realized that in the forest there is little bouncing because of the rough terrain. Can I harm my baby? A friend told me that it can be dangerous for his nervous system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24352" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-12T21:15:08.107" LastActivityDate="2018-11-19T16:33:25.720" Title="Can running with 8-month-old in a jogging stroller in the forest be harmful to the child?" Tags="|infant|safety|sports|outdoor|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27081" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27080" CreationDate="2016-09-07T20:11:31.367" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, you should be fine.  People think of babies as extremely delicate, and they are a bit fragile, but they aren't THAT fragile. I think some of this impression comes from &quot;shaken baby syndrome,&quot; but people don't realize the degree of force with which those babies get shaken.  A bumpy ride isn't going to damage the nervous system, or else they'd never let babies ride in cars, at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a pretty common question/concern, if Google is any indication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be more careful with a very young infant, lacking in head control. They don't recommend use of jogging strollers for babies under 6 months, in part for that reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.guelphmercury.com/opinion-story/3876248-fact-and-fiction-about-shaken-baby-syndrome/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Fact and Fiction About Shaken Baby Syndrome&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.justanswer.com/pediatrics/3sh9m-question-bumpy-ride-stroller-regular.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Can a very bumy ride in a stroller cause damage to a 3.5 month old baby&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://lookfordiagnosis.com/faq.php?term=Shaken%20Baby%20Syndrome&amp;amp;lang=1&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;FAQ - Shaken Baby Syndrome&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2018-11-19T16:33:25.720" LastActivityDate="2018-11-19T16:33:25.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27082" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-07T20:46:45.310" Score="3" ViewCount="2198" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter is 12 years old. When she gets in trouble or we(parents/teachers/coaches) are trying to talk to her seriously, she has a smile/smirk on her face. She looks like she does not care what we are trying to tell or her show her. Can it be a nervous reaction or just disrespect? How can I help her to overcome this or teach her this is not the right way to react?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24353" LastEditorUserId="1060" LastEditDate="2016-09-23T11:26:12.003" LastActivityDate="2017-11-28T23:43:30.007" Title="My 12 year old daughter just smiles when we're trying to talk to her after she gets in trouble" Tags="|behavior|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27084" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26959" CreationDate="2016-09-07T23:50:34.530" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a number of factors that contribute to your ultimate decision to keep or dispose of the milk, but an hour or two on the counter at room temperature will not by itself spoil the milk or make it dangerous or harmful to your baby.  There are a number of components in breast milk that inhibit pathogenic activity.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;La Leche League International gives 6 hours as an acceptable time at room temperature, with 4 hours being the ideal (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/milkstorage.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/milkstorage.html&lt;/a&gt;).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With previously refrigerated milk, I would err on the shorter end of that range, and would consider the age of the milk prior to being left out, but also note that it was cold when left out, and it may not have even reached room temperature during the time it was on the counter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I would not keep that much of a supply out of the freezer, but only enough for the next feeding.  I know that isn't always possible, but if it is, I recommend it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do with our supply is to freeze expressed milk in bags until needed, at which point it is thawed/warmed in warm water.  It takes a few minutes more minutes, but that is mostly just waiting time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastEditorUserId="17160" LastEditDate="2016-09-08T00:14:50.270" LastActivityDate="2016-09-08T00:14:50.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27086" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27042" CreationDate="2016-09-08T04:44:33.847" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Shampoo with keratin will aid with straightening using a flat iron, but I don't recommend it. Getting a professional blow out is her best bet.  I'm biracial and   occasionally want a temporary change. I feel her pain. It is also possible to use large rollers and relax the curls a lot which is satisfying. There is a web community dedicated to us natural curly peeps.  Knowing her curl type  (sounds like a 4b) will also help.  It's all about products. Curl creme!!! Tame the frizz using the LOC method, and make sure you use sulfate free shampoo.  Get her a silk pillow case, It's vital to fighting frizz. And start searching for a stylist who knows curls now. I drive 4hrs for my 2-3 trims a year. If they have never dry cut curls, run away!!!  Good luck and post a pic.  My babies both have red curls.  My son has a baby fro. Lol&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24356" LastActivityDate="2016-09-08T04:44:33.847" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27087" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-08T04:48:58.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't wait. Tell her now. I've always known that my bio dad was not in the picture. Knowing prevented that uncomfortable conversation from happening when I was old enough for it to cause resentment. There is no reason to hide it from her. If anything your new wife should want your daughter to know the truth up front. Honesty and openness is always the right choice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24356" LastActivityDate="2016-09-08T04:48:58.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27088" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27090" CreationDate="2016-09-08T07:39:20.257" Score="1" ViewCount="1272" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 34 months old and has all of a sudden started stuttering. He usually has difficulty starting sentences beginning with &quot;I&quot; but recently he has difficulty with other words as well, mostly at the start of a sentence. I spoke to an SLP from a well known institute in Dubai and was advised that its a natural occurrence and will pass with time. She advised me not to bring him in immediately. However, it still concerns me and I was hoping for some inputs from other parents. Thanks very much in advance&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mia&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24359" LastActivityDate="2016-09-08T11:27:26.860" Title="Toddler stuttering" Tags="|toddler|language-development|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ClosedDate="2016-09-08T14:25:48.197" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27090" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27088" CreationDate="2016-09-08T11:27:26.860" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my Kids did it at some point between 3 and 5 years for a couple of days / weeks. It went away on its own, maybe it's something to do with their development, I am not sure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But nothing to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say if it goes on for more than 2-4 weeks, you can start thinking about going to a doc, but I am sure it will go away on its own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24344" LastActivityDate="2016-09-08T11:27:26.860" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27091" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1978" CreationDate="2016-09-08T12:44:10.123" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My view, for what it's worth: I don't know how the last four years have panned out for you, but everyone has missed the most important point. &#xA;It's not so important which religious view you &quot;teach&quot; your children. Much more important that you teach them that two people can differ on religion, but still love each other and live together. Let her take them to church for as long as they still want to go.&#xA;The world doesn't suffer from too much or too little religion, only too little tolerance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24364" LastActivityDate="2016-09-08T12:44:10.123" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27093" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27080" CreationDate="2016-09-08T14:54:16.450" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;What kind of rough terrain are you talking about?  I'd think that, say, a clear dirt path might be okay, but running the stroller over roots and rocks might not be so good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An 8 month baby isn't that heavy; you might consider getting a baby carrier that would go on your back instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-08T14:54:16.450" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27094" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-08T19:12:25.297" Score="0" ViewCount="107" Body="&lt;p&gt;Moving into our first home!  I have a 3yo daughter and an almost 2yo son. We are serious outdoors enthusiasts. I want a playground that we can play on for years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are the benefits or drawbacks of buying prefabricated or diy? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24356" LastEditorUserId="20803" LastEditDate="2016-09-14T12:49:34.950" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T16:11:44.197" Title="Playground diy or prefab" Tags="|playground|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27095" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="238" CreationDate="2016-09-09T03:10:52.797" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our kids stopped when the girl was 7 and the boys were 5 and 3.  The reason was more because they wouldn't all fit comfortably any more than anything else.  The boys actually could have continued bathing together for a while, but the 3 year old splashed so aggressively that big brother wanted to bathe alone in peace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In a normal bathtub, I think &quot;when they don't fit&quot; is a pretty good answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-09T03:10:52.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27096" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18712" CreationDate="2016-09-09T05:27:04.300" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;If there was a custody settlement, it should cover this situation, ideally specifying where pickup and dropoff occur.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's not specified, the most normal arrangement is for each party to pick up the child for their custody time, since that prevents a delivering party from delaying and cutting into the other party's time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This means that the noncustodial dad should pick up on Friday, and you should pick up on Sunday.  The pickup times should be the same - 6pm, midnight, whatever - so the increased commute cuts into both parties' custody time equally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that as a starting point, you could negotiate something else - perhaps an intermediate turnover point - if that's more convenient for both of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-09T05:27:04.300" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27097" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26835" CreationDate="2016-09-09T06:12:15.270" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Counting &quot;only&quot; to ten at age 4 is pretty normal.  The younger sister is ahead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A single half hour session is not very much to try to get a 4 year old to learn anything that requires memorization.  You'll probably need dozens or scores of sessions, although they might only require a minute or two each.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-09T06:12:15.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27098" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27042" CreationDate="2016-09-09T08:01:35.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Seems like you're looking for Argan Oil. It wont straighten her hair, but it will weigh it down and tame it so to speak. Gives hair a wet look. Shampoos and conditioners with Argan Oil never really worked for me. Other than that only a flat iron will do. The flat iron didn't do anything bad to my hair, just takes 2 hours to do. Male with 3ft long naturally very curly and very untamable hair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24373" LastEditorUserId="24373" LastEditDate="2016-09-09T08:11:24.617" LastActivityDate="2016-09-09T08:11:24.617" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27099" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-09T12:42:41.630" Score="0" ViewCount="947" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 12-year-old son. In the last 2 years, he has shown no interest in doing anything, not listening, not hanging out with friends, etc. He doesn't like cleaning up behind himself, is just not interested in anything. He goes to school most of the day and does his homework. He likes to cook. On weekends, he sits around and is on his phone or just stays in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would ask him what he would like to do and he would say &quot;I don't know&quot; which is the answer to everything. I took away his phone, but he still acts the same - uninterested in anything. Please Help! What should I do? I try rewarding and taking things away, but that doesn't work. Does he need counseling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24375" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-19T19:09:04.493" LastActivityDate="2018-05-19T19:09:04.493" Title="What to do about my 12-year-old son who doesn't show interest in anything?" Tags="|pre-teen|social-development|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27100" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27099" CreationDate="2016-09-09T14:03:49.350" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;In a comment, you mentioned that he likes to cook. I would take advantage of this(not in a &quot;you're cooking all the meals&quot; kind of way). If you haven't already done so, invite him to help with fixing dinner. Show an interest in his cooking. Offer to help watch some cooking videos with him on YouTube. This could be used as an entry point to open up some communication between you both. While you're cooking, you could work in conversation about how he's doing. If he's doing something that he enjoys, he may be more open &quot;in the moment&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though, with this approach, you'll have to be careful not to push too much cooking, as he may turn away from it. Nothing makes a pre-teen dislike something like it being shoved in their face all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, this is a stepping stone to try and have better communication and involvement from the child. Don't push topics or ideas. Just let things happen. Hopefully, he'll open up and everything will be great for you both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24266" LastActivityDate="2016-09-09T14:03:49.350" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27101" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="18712" CreationDate="2016-09-09T14:22:28.420" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son is 12.  It seems to me that he is old enough to make his own decisions about when to visit his dad and also old enough to use public transport on his own to cover the majority of the trip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-09-09T14:22:28.420" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27103" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26965" CreationDate="2016-09-10T10:31:23.667" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You seem to be worried about two things.  That your child might not understand the care-givers at day-care and that the care-givers might not understand your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The care-givers being adults will manage to find ways to make your child understand, and besides that there will be other children whose example your child will be able to copy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child will likely try to use its knowledge of Hungarian to express itself to the care-givers and they are not likely to understand.  Your child will not like not being able to make itself understood.  To ameliorate this it is a very good idea to teach the care-givers the most important words your child might use, say to express that it is thirsty, hungry, needs to use the potty, or needs a clean diaper.  Perhaps there are other things that are important for your child, but only a handful of things are really important.  That is few enough things that the care-givers can learn them quickly if you teach them.  You should speak those words the way your child says them and optionally have the care-givers write them down phonetically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my experience the language barrier is insignificant compared to the child being without its parents for the first time, so your situation is not really much different from that of other parents, except that your child gets to learn a second language for free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-09-10T10:31:23.667" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27104" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26439" CreationDate="2016-09-10T11:26:40.467" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you want to be on the prudent side, to wash your children, you should use as little that is not water as possible to get them clean.  Thus if they are not really dirty, just water suffices.  If they get excrement all over themselves, then soap may be the only way to get them clean.  Soap will clear the natural oils off of your skin, potentially getting your skin to produce more to replenish what was lost, so using soap may mess up the amount of oil your skin naturally produces.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-09-10T11:26:40.467" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27105" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26999" CreationDate="2016-09-10T12:14:49.260" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;You asked what you could do to tell off your 2-year old son for pushing away a 1.5-year old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Depending on whether he pushed only a little or rather hard, you could say one of the following: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(questioning)  Why did you push that kid away?  They only wanted to play with you/say hi/have a look.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(teaching)  Hey, do not push that other kid; it is not nice.  They only wanted to play with you/say hi/have a look.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(mild correcting)  Hey, be careful!  We do not push other children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(correcting with consequences for not listening spelled out)  Hey, no pushing!  If you cannot behave then you cannot play here anymore and we will need to go home.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the situation repeats, you could choose to use a higher level depending on how patient you are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At home, consequences could be a time-out or a small task (stand in the corner/hallway and count to ten/sing a song) or you can ask him to go to his room until he can behave himself again (he will probably start crying and may need you to help him stop so he can come back).  If you name consequences you should be certain you mean them, otherwise it is better not to name them and make up your mind about what they should be later. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is what works for me and usually gets results quickly (though certainly not always); I hope it will give you some ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is probably not effective is losing your temper or getting very angry.  If your kid is in a situation in which they do not yet know how to behave correctly for their age, just remove them from that situation or change the situation.  You should only shout if you need your kid to pay attention and they are ignoring you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-09-10T12:14:49.260" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27106" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-10T15:35:35.943" Score="5" ViewCount="1655" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby was born last week and my partner is struggling with soreness from breastfeeding. One thing we have noticed is that the nipple (not the areola) is left out of shape post-feeding; it's oval shaped, it's not sloping off to the sides etc. so it appears the baby is centred on the nipple, but the shape is consistently that the wide points of the oval line up with the corners of the mouth, and the narrow points of the oval between the nose and chin. She is also describing spells of a sudden and hard biting/chewing type of sensation during feeding, and there is a bit of clicking noise as he suckles. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this oval shape indicative of a particular problem in the process? If the latch is good should the nipple come away from feeding rounded?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24382" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-18T13:00:15.590" LastActivityDate="2019-05-18T13:00:15.590" Title="Is getting an oval nipple from breastfeeding indicative of a problem?" Tags="|newborn|health|breastfeeding|mother|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27107" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26965" CreationDate="2016-09-10T18:33:52.500" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't worry too much:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At 2 years old, children are basically professional, full time language learners. Your son will pick up &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; language as easily as he picked up Hungarian.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;At that age, many children can barely speak their &lt;em&gt;native&lt;/em&gt; language, so social expectations on him to speak and understand the language are still very low.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Switzerland, it's not uncommon to see first generation immigrants bring their children along for complex interactions in the local language, because children are just so much quicker to learn a new language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10122" LastActivityDate="2016-09-10T18:33:52.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27108" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-10T20:36:05.033" Score="14" ViewCount="2529" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-month-old is 100% breastfed. I am currently looking for a new job and have a job interview in two days. &#xA;The problem is that it is a full-day interview. I cannot go 8+ hours without pumping, but there are no breaks in my schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I have a dilemma: Do I tell them I need time to pump or do I try to discretely squeeze in some time to do it? I am told that it is not good to reveal that you have a small baby during a job interview. What do I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surely other mothers have been in this situation. Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24383" LastActivityDate="2017-06-30T16:16:10.430" Title="Breastfeeding and a Job Interview" Tags="|breastfeeding|jobs|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27111" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27123" CreationDate="2016-09-11T19:34:52.147" Score="9" ViewCount="3430" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to offer my 1.5 year old toddler snacks while we are in car and its snacktime or she is hungry. Currently, I rely on goldfish crackers but these are not much healthier than potato chips, especially with the salt and fat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there any non-perishable snack, homemade or store bought, that is healthier? meaning less salt and fat, possible more whole grain, even veggie or fruit based, and with less added ingredients? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24387" LastActivityDate="2018-12-14T11:53:14.987" Title="What's a healthy, non-perishable, keep-it-in-the-car-and-forget-it snack for a toddler?" Tags="|toddler|food|junkfood|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27113" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27082" CreationDate="2016-09-11T22:49:40.817" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its a way to show she is bigger than you, if you smile while you are telling her off it will be pointless for her to keep smiling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24389" LastActivityDate="2016-09-11T22:49:40.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27115" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-12T09:52:15.890" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dried_fruit&quot;&gt;Dried fruits&lt;/a&gt; keep well and the ones without added sugar are healthy.  Recently we've had great success with dried banana chips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;NB Some raisins may contain added sulphur to keep them longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-09-12T09:52:15.890" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27116" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-12T10:27:57.040" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I buy a lot of &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.organix.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Organix&lt;/a&gt; snacks for my son and these all keep, out of the fridge, for quite some time, provided they don't get too hot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24392" LastActivityDate="2016-09-12T10:27:57.040" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27117" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27106" CreationDate="2016-09-12T14:25:26.527" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not normal having pain while breastfeeding. If she feels any pain, the latch maybe it's wrong. The nipple has, beside this oval shape, the tip like a lipstick? That sometime it is a sign from short tongue tie. If the baby's tongue has the tip like a heart when you see it, maybe it's that.&#xA;Or your baby doesn't put enough areola in her/his mouth. When a baby it's eating, the only noise you have to listen is the swallowing, the cheeks looks like it's chewing, they &quot;puff&quot;. I recommend a breastfeeding consultant to check the latch. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24393" LastActivityDate="2016-09-12T14:25:26.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27118" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27106" CreationDate="2016-09-12T19:17:14.833" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Given it's only the nipple and not the areola that's affected, most likely the baby does not have a good latch.  A good latch should be well up on the areola, with the nipple going into the baby's mouth far enough that the sucking comes more from the throat than from the mouth.  This should also help cut down on the chewing and biting, and make them less uncomfortable when they do happen as they will be distributed across a larger area rather than concentrated just on the nipple.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She may need to hold the baby's head up and support it further onto the nipple.  If the baby is small, she could try alternative holds - for our 6-7 pound firstborn, a one armed &quot;football&quot; hold worked well.  A breastfeeding consultant might be a good idea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-12T19:17:14.833" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27119" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-12T19:22:17.813" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If precooked bacon makes an excellent snack for a toddler of that age.  It's nonperishable until opened, at which point it would hopefully get eaten fairly quickly.  Unlike dried fruit, it has little enough sugar that it's not bad for teeth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-09-20T13:52:51.410" LastActivityDate="2016-09-20T13:52:51.410" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27120" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-13T01:39:06.153" Score="1" ViewCount="230" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mediation is faster and less expensive but not possible in cases when one or both of the parents are being unreasonable. What are some of the common and less common risks to a child of 6 years of a case going to court, other than the money paid to lawyers? This is in the USA.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19613" LastEditorUserId="19613" LastEditDate="2016-09-14T00:59:18.237" LastActivityDate="2020-04-09T02:13:58.467" Title="What are some of the risks to a child of a divorce going to trial?" Tags="|psychology|divorce|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27121" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-13T02:58:13.233" Score="1" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Trail Mix&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Beef Jerky, Turkey Jerky, Salmon Jerky, etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Freeze dried, or regular dried, fruit.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Bars (we eat Lara Bars), though the &quot;healthy&quot; of this might be somewhat questionable&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of these, there are those that are healthy, and those that are no so healthy, high/low sodium or fat.  But these foods are, in their &quot;natural&quot; state, inherently healthy when not consumed in moderation and as part of a varied diet (my opinion).  Not all fat is bad, and I generally buy into the idea that only &lt;em&gt;added&lt;/em&gt; sugar is inherently harmful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Individual packs of trail mix is one of my favorites, and they can be bought at Trader Joe's (organic or not), at somewhat reasonable prices.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I like to do, however, due to mice getting into our stash (regardless of being vacuum packed in mylar/foil/plastic), is to keep it all in a small/medium bag that we bring to the car when we pack up.  If you have no risk of rodents (we live in the country), it may not be worth the trouble.  Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend leaving food in your vehicle overnight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17160" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T02:58:13.233" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27122" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27120" CreationDate="2016-09-13T06:44:06.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if this quite answers what you are asking, but separation of a 6 year olds parents can be quite disrupting to he/she's life. When children grow up with the lack of both parents there at the same time, some psychological effects take place. There are multitudes of videos that you can watch on your own time on how it changes the kid's life, but I won't get in to it now because I don't even know if that is what you want to know. If the parents are dangerously unreasonable then actions should definitely be taken to protect the kid, but if the parents are not that unreasonable and can still provide a healthy environment for the kid to grow up, prosper and be educated, then it is most likely advisable to separate time 50-50 as best as possible. One must always keep in mind that the most important part in this process is not the dad or the mom (or whatever is happening), but it's the kid, for at that age, a kid is growing and learning the ways of life, and change as sudden and disruptive as that one can really take a heavy toll on its life. I hope this answered your question as best as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24397" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T06:44:06.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27123" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-13T08:21:16.967" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;We usually keep rice cakes as a snack for the kids. They weigh effectively nothing, but are quite large, which means it keeps them busy for a long time. They are soft and melt in your mouth, so no real need to chew, although you could.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are made from only puffed rice (some with added salt, but not all of them). So the nutritional value is actually fairly low, which makes them good snacks and also useful to bridge the gap until the toddler can get a real, proper meal. They contain no sugar, only carbs and protein, but due to the size-weight ration they effectively don't have much of those either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as you store them in a sealed, dark container they will not spoil for a few weeks at least.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/duQW1.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/duQW1.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T08:21:16.967" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27125" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1978" CreationDate="2016-09-13T14:54:51.937" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is an issue no matter what the mixture of religious beliefs are in the house.  My wife and I are both free-thinking Christians, raising our children in the church, and we still struggle with differences between our own beliefs, as well as with the kids' own idiosyncratic opinions on religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would counsel honesty combined with humility for both of you.  It's OK to say &quot;I don't know,&quot; or &quot;I believe but I could be wrong&quot; or &quot;we have different points of view&quot; &lt;em&gt;if asked.&lt;/em&gt;  In other words, you can advocate your own beliefs without it being a knock-down drag-out fight.  Ultimately you'll both be trying to raise kids capable of making the best choice on their own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally, I grew up in a household with one parent who was a non-church-going Christian, and the other who was pretty allergic to religion, and ended up far more religious than either of my parents.  Ultimately I found it a support to my faith to have grown up with a healthy dose of skepticism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11788" LastEditorUserId="11788" LastEditDate="2016-09-13T15:00:40.203" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T15:00:40.203" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27126" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27120" CreationDate="2016-09-13T16:05:52.993" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;However you settle differences, be it through courts, mediation, handshake over coffee, the impacts to the child are mostly around a) how they see the parents interact, and b) if they get caught in the middle. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you go to mediation, court, priest, yogi - unless the child is a witness how will it affect them if the outcome on the decision is the same? Mostly, the differences between the adults need to be settled between the adults. The child should not be involved! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The caveat to that is where the child is required to be involved, either because one parent feels the need to badmouth the other, or makes an accusation that requires investigation. In that case the child will suffer as they may often feel that they are being asked to pick which parent they love more, which is a terrible thing to do to them. If there is REAL cause for safety concern, then it is absolutely required, but if you want to stick your kid on the stand to tell a judge about how you are the better parent then.... you probably aren't. And hopefully a judge will know enough about parent alienation to nip that in the bud before the kid gets hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T16:05:52.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27127" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27099" CreationDate="2016-09-13T16:20:04.870" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I incentivized my kids to learn to cook with a simple house rule: the one who cooks gets a huge say in setting the menu! Want pancakes for Sunday breakfast? Come on down and measure and stir the batter! You do that and I'll cook them. No? OK, go get yourself a bowl of cereal then. As long as they are going to have to do some work.... why not help out and get the pancakes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've got chicken going on the BBQ, you can pick the side dishes if you help prepare them! Otherwise... well, I'm thinking some brussel sprouts would go great with it...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You tried a certain dish at a friend's and want it again? Sounds delicious! What is it called? lets find a recipe and try it (can you get the recipe from your friend?)!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now I've got two kids who spend time in the kitchen with me, are pretty good cooks, and it has become a time where we talk while cooking - and keeping those lines of communication open is the best part of parenting, and where I often learn some pretty cool things about them as they grow and mature. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14941" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T16:20:04.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27128" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27082" CreationDate="2016-09-13T17:59:55.443" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that MAYBE another possible way to get &quot;in touch&quot;with her, is to show interest in what she has to say...ask questions, ask from her to develop her impressions, ideas, what ever! Go on like this for some time, until you feel that it creates a connection, you are bound to each other. Once this is done, at some point later, you can start to exchange...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3677" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T17:59:55.443" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27129" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-13T18:35:40.490" Score="13" ViewCount="561" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 2-year-old child just started preschool and is attaching to other kids' parents.  Stuff like: Wants to hold the other parent's hand, but not ours; gives the other parent a hug at pick-up from preschool, but not us; following around other parents at the park, keeping distance from us.  If the other parent in question is present but unavailable (hands full, paying attention to their own child, talking with the preschool staff), our child melts down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Generally the other kids' parents involved are also at the preschool, and usually good family friends.  So avoiding other parents entirely is not an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We're feeling like our child prefers other parents -- sometimes, any other parents -- to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we address this behavior?  (What is a good term for this behavior?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7790" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-06T12:16:03.567" LastActivityDate="2019-09-06T12:16:03.567" Title="What to do about our 2-year-old attaching to another parent?" Tags="|toddler|parents|relationships|attachment|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27130" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27129" CreationDate="2016-09-13T21:20:32.743" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;The term is &quot;disorganized attachment&quot;.  It's not a good sign.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is trying to build a secure spot to make sense of the world. What typically triggers this sort of avoidance of one's own parents is the lack of needs being met. When your child cries, do you respond to them or are you practicing the stoic method of letting them cry it out?  Somehow, your kid doesn't think that you will meet their emotional needs and is desperately reaching out to others to meet those needs. There is an article here:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.psychalive.org/disorganized-attachment/&quot;&gt;http://www.psychalive.org/disorganized-attachment/&lt;/a&gt; that describes disorganized attachment at current knowledge levels.  There is a paragraph in that article that is key:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Disorganized attachment arises from fright without solutions. Parents can frighten their children in different, often unconscious, ways. It might be through abuse or neglect, but it could also be through unresolved trauma and loss in the parent’s own life that leaves him or her feeling afraid, which unintentionally scares the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suspect that something has happened in your lives that left you feeling at a loss and highly depressed at some point in the recent past. Your child picked up on it, and felt frightened.  Once a kid feels frightened, they tend to avoid what caused them fear.  When it's a parent, they short circuit and you see odd behaviors like refusing to go near a parent.  (Note that my quote highlights that other things besides abuse can trigger these reactions.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The good news is that this is very fixable. I would HIGHLY recommend getting in to see a family counselor/therapist as soon as possible. A good therapist can teach both parents ways to reach out to a child and regain that lost trust.  IT MUST BE DONE SOON or you'll be facing deep issues.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would not cut off the other family.  They're a secure base right now.  Instead, work to regain that secure base in your own family and the child will wean away from that sort of desperate need of the other parents.  Plus, they'll have both secure bases which is a major win.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24223" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-09-14T11:06:37.103" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T11:06:37.103" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27131" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-13T21:28:17.523" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cheerios. Every kid loves cheerios. And now they're gluten free!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24223" LastActivityDate="2016-09-13T21:28:17.523" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27133" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27145" CreationDate="2016-09-14T02:23:32.273" Score="2" ViewCount="970" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a first time parent to a beautiful bouncing baby boy 18 months old that is having a few delayed developmental problems (which I have seen many other parents having the same issues and are using the tips suggested to them). One of which is that he is absolutely refusing to eat solid foods of any kind.  He still eats the level 2 pureed gerber foods and the nipples on his bottles are still the newborn nipples for slower flow.  He gags on any thing solid or if his bottles formula comes out faster than a drip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This started when he kept putting whatever he found around him, little specks of something, anything (dirt, paper, crumbs, thread, and the such) in his mouth when he started sitting up and crawling.  He would gag on it and me being a first time mom I would freak out maybe a little too much, but his father would literally lose his mind too.  But because of this we think this is the real reason he gags any kind of solid food I attempt to introduce to him. I have gotten a little better at how I react to him now, but his father thinks he is a perfect parent and knows everything cause he has already raised on child all by himself, and will still react to anything our son does (gagging for instance).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My husband wanted me to quit trying any solid foods at all of any kind and just put rice cereal in his food each sitting and that will apparently solve everything.  It hasn't, so while my husband is at work, I have been trying everything from wafers, to yogurt melts, to even shortbread cookies and my son has been not eating them yet, but not gagging on them either.  For 4 days straight I would hand him a small round shortbread cookie and showed him how he can nibble with his front teeth and suck on it to get it a little soggy and he started doing it.  I would just leave him alone but really watching him out the corner of my eye, and he would actually start making maybe a tiny bite or two into the cookie then put it down for awhile and maybe pick it again later and lick it or just throw it to the dog, either way I feel I was starting to make real progress until I decide to hand him is daily cookie with daddy in the room....the boy takes a big bite of the cookie unlike he has ever done, immediately is gagging, harder than I have ever seen him gag, and then pukes thick mucusy stuff, and of course my husband is livid that I would even give him a cookie, but much less a big round hard one and then turn my back on him like I was trying to choke him on purpose, and yet another example of I have no clue what I'm doing cause I've never had kids before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel that my son only did that gagging episode just because his father was there and he sees the attention he gets when he does that, or am I being a bad mother and trying to force something that I have no clue about?  I should probably add that I am 37 years old, and my husband is 10 years older than me with a 21 year old son (who still lives at home with us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24406" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-09-14T11:09:31.573" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T00:38:51.930" Title="I think my husband and I are the reason for our 18 month old delayed development issues" Tags="|development|parents|attention|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27134" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27120" CreationDate="2016-09-14T04:51:56.920" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The biggest risks to a child of divorce are psychological issues, primarily difficulty forming lasting relationships, later in life.  Since the child doesn't know whether the divorce is settled through mediation or trial, that by itself doesn't seem likely to affect the child, though if mediation indicates that the parents have a better relationship, that might marginally benefit the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are the plaintiff, and your spouse did not want the divorce, the best thing you can do for the child is to suspend proceedings for a year or two, hire a good counselor, and make a genuine attempt to reconcile.  If your spouse just wants more money, the best thing for the child is probably to swallow your pride and save the costs of a trial by giving your spouse a favorable settlement.  Usually a trial is expensive enough that you can give a lot to the other party in a settlement and still come out ahead of where you would have been with a trial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not what you wanted to hear, I'm sure, but that's unfortunately how divorce works in the U.S.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2020-04-09T02:13:58.467" LastActivityDate="2020-04-09T02:13:58.467" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27135" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-14T05:28:24.033" Score="11" ViewCount="991" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old son cries when he loses a game. He gets impatient and throws tantrums and beats me when he loses. The same thing happens when he plays with his friends also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried to teach him by playing games which I myself and my son lose/win alternately, but to no avail. The moment he loses more than once, he cries badly again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I even tried losing continuously and throwing tantrums and the following dialogue ensued:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Me: I will not play with you since you always win.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He: It's OK, you should win on your own and don't cry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The moment he loses a game he quits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I teach him sportsmanship and teach him losing is OK? How should I teach him it's OK to lose and losing graciously?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24407" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2018-10-30T16:35:23.713" Title="How to teach my son that winning is not everything and to lose graciously? My son cries when he loses and quits playing the game" Tags="|primary-schooler|teaching|tantrums|games|competitiveness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27136" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10709" CreationDate="2016-09-14T05:31:36.127" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dvorak, definitely, and I say that as someone who doesn't know how to type on a dvorak keyboard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dvorak is marginally faster.  The verified typing speed world record holder used dvorak, and she sustained 150 wpm for 50 minutes.  When my first girlfriend learned to type, I'd been typing qwerty for a decade and could type at a respectable speed of 80 wpm; she got to 100 wpm in a two week software course.  A friend of mine switched from qwerty to dvorak, which granted was a pretty difficult process, and was typing faster on dvorak than he had on qwerty within a few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, speed is less important than health.  Because finger movements on the dvorak keyboard are smaller and more natural, the risk of carpal tunnel syndrome is substantially lower.  Given how much people use keyboards in offices these day, this is probably the biggest consideration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keyboard availability is a nonissue.  It only takes a couple of keystrokes to switch a PC between qwerty and dvorak.  Even if that weren't available, how often do you type on someone else's keyboard?  I can't remember the last time I did it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I ever get a couple of weeks where I don't have to type, I'll use it to switch to dvorak.  Unfortunately, given I've been typing for 40 years now without such an opportunity, that might be never.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start your daughter out right and teach her dvorak.  Especially if you're going to start her as a toddler, use dvorak because it will minimize the number of big stretches which for her small hands will require moving her hands and arms around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T05:31:36.127" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27137" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14592" CreationDate="2016-09-14T06:34:41.563" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is better to form the letters top down because ultimately the writing will be faster and more legible, because it's easier and more accurate to pull a pen across the page than to push it.  Teachers used to insist on this but I think they don't care any more, or they care but not enough to do anything about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a real difficulty in teaching this to small children.  For small children, it can be difficult to put enough pressure on a pencil or pen to result in a visible line when pulling from top to bottom:  their little hands just aren't strong enough.  Some end up pushing instead because pushing puts more force into the paper, which can make the line more visible for the same reason it makes it slower and more likely to poke holes in the paper.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All three of my children initially had this problem.  I didn't correct this in the eldest, my daughter, because she was at the time behind on reading and writing and we felt those were more important than proper stroke direction.  She was (and is) also double jointed and used (and uses) a different grip because the normal pencil grip was painful for her.  In retrospect, I might have done things differently, as now, a couple years later, her letter formation is still sloppy and barely legible.  She did eventually learn the normal stroke directions in cursive but rarely uses cursive, and her stroke directions remain wrong when she prints.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My elder son is two years younger, and I insisted on correct stroke direction from the beginning, which for him was age 5.  He could handle it better because his hands are bigger for his age - they have always been as big as his sister's even though he is 20 months younger, and thus were larger when he started than hers were when she started - and he is not double jointed.  His letters are highly legible and his printing is reasonably fast.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My younger son is another two years younger, currently age 4, and I've been trying to insist on correct stroke direction for him as well.  His hands are not as big for his age, and he started at an earlier age; although he is not double jointed, he has difficulty making a visible line with a pen or pencil without pushing, so stroke direction has been a battle.  I've switched him to washable markers, with which a visible line is much easier to make.  He is now willing to start at the top when he remembers or is reminded; it takes a lot of reminding, but I think it will eventually be possible to retrain him to use the correct stroke direction, unlike his sister where it seems to ingrained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line:  fix it if you catch it early enough, and don't be afraid to give the kid washable markets to make the normal stroke direction easier to use with small hands.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T06:34:41.563" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27138" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27135" CreationDate="2016-09-14T06:40:08.607" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two kids with this problem, and one kid with the opposite problem:  he doesn't care enough about winning to learn to play better.  You don't want that problem either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For one of the kids who hates losing, letting him play games against a computer seems to work better; he doesn't get upset when he loses to a computer the way he does when he loses to a human being.  I'm hoping eventually that will rub off onto play against humans, too.  I have not yet tried that technique with the other kid who hates losing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-09-14T07:52:10.727" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T07:52:10.727" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27140" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25106" CreationDate="2016-09-14T11:27:30.433" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar situation where one of our kids reacted very badly when they couldn't win at a new sport or game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It was additionally complicated because she has always been very good at accomplishing things, and so &quot;not winning&quot; (or &quot;losing&quot;) was a new experience and she reacted badly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We had the talk about everyone playing to have fun, sometimes you have to lose, let's try to be good sports, and so on. It didn't work right away, so we had to perservere and try different things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hilmar suggested playing &quot;team&quot; games (with no winners or losers), so may I suggest a similar approach, but completely out of the context of games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try some other fun activities for a while... hike in the forest, walk up a mountain, go swimming in a lake. If possible, give them some one-on-one time. And be sure to encourage them to feel how much fun it is to participate in an activity (both during, and after), without anyone necessarily winning or losing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Questions like &quot;do you remember we hiked up a mountain last week? was that fun!!&quot; can go in the right direction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a while, gradually re-introduce the team games / sports / activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T11:27:30.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27141" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27133" CreationDate="2016-09-14T20:40:55.823" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;DO NOT FOCUS ON PAST CAUSES OF ANY DEVELOPMENT ISSUES&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;focus on finding the solution to the issues.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parents do many things for their children out of love, or out of fear, that may not be the best developmentally for their children and it can be extremely difficult to change those behaviours but you can definitely do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally we started feeding our child solids at 6 months following principles in &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babyledweaning.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;baby led Weaning&lt;/a&gt;.  Part of this process was accepting the fact that our child was going to gag on things, and we would have to put up with extra concern from Aunts, Grandparents, etc. We've never had a serious chocking incident (child is now 18 months).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Part of us is convincing yourself of the need to learn things we take for granted.  Chewing food is a skill, chewing food with your mouth closed is another skill (we watched countless pieces of food fall out of Bubs mouth while learning this skill).  You wouldn't expect a baby to learn to walk without falling and or talk without babbling first so don't expect your baby to eat perfectly right from the beginning.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another part is having the skills to deal with issues, if you haven't taken any sort of child first aid I would suggest doing so and making sure you have a good understanding of what to do if your child does choke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So all that being said I would also 2nd the comment to talk to a pediatrician or a nutritionist.  At 18 months most are on solid foods and cups so it is worth discussing with a professional the route forward to ensure your child learns these important life skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not a Dr or anyone with any special knowledge just a parent who's gone (going) through it and realizes they are times you will be scared, or frustrated, or confused and that some encouragement and sometimes some professional knowledge with get you through the tough times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24164" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T20:40:55.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27142" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27065" CreationDate="2016-09-14T21:14:42.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;support (what can you do to help), empathy (acknowledge the legitimacy of their feelings), truth.  In that order.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am here to listen whenever you want to talk.&#xA;I know you feel hurt.&#xA;It will take a while but the pain you are feeling will pass.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11699" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T21:14:42.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27143" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27080" CreationDate="2016-09-14T21:26:52.817" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend was running in the grass with one of these large tire three wheeled offroad looking strollers.  The toddler loved this until he unexpectedly hit a bump and the toddler fell out of the stroller.  Remember you are pushing from the bar on top so if the front wheels stop suddenly then you effectively push the stroller right over.  The toddler was buckled in properly, but the buckles are more to keep the kid from getting out than to protect them from something like this.  There were only minor scrapes, but if he hadn't landed in grass it could have been worse.  If it's a smooth path with no ruts, roots, rocks, etc and you can see the ground over the top of the stroller easily then it's probably ok.  If this is the sort of path you have to watch to make sure you don't trip then reconsider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11699" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T21:26:52.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27144" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27133" CreationDate="2016-09-14T22:25:03.543" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may possibly be that your child is triggered to gag at the memory of being scared by the reaction of adults panicking when he choked, and the fear of your husband's reaction triggers his choking, but it is also very possible that your son is now gagging on purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Kids love to discover that they can do things that make adults react.  Everyone has the need for the power to affect the world around them, and kids, having so little real power will grasp at any source of powers even if it feels unpleasant (gagging can't be any fun).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My daughter used to do the same thing when she was about that age, although she would just do it any old time, sometimes when she was in bed and she wasn't ready to sleep and she got bored.  She would make the most terrifying gagging noises, but after we caught on to the fact that nothing was wrong and stopped running into her room in a panic whenever she did it, the behavior gradually stopped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, consulting a pediatrician is a good idea.  If there is actually a medical problem which is causing your son to gag, it needs to be addressed, and if it's a behavioral issue, your husband might be more receptive to hearing it from a professional.  It sounds as if he has emotionally invested in being the &quot;experienced&quot; parent and always being right when you have a disagreement over child raising, and once that happens it becomes a pride issue.  Find a professional to mediate...maybe if the doctor agrees that the gagging is a psychological issue that could be a lead-in into some family counseling, which is something I'd recommend even for healthy marriages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-09-14T22:25:03.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27145" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27133" CreationDate="2016-09-14T23:31:52.947" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please get to a pediatrician and get your child tested for B12 deficiency immediately.  About 25% of people in the USA are deficient, and infants of parents that are low in B12 themselves and were breastfed are especially at risk as the infant never developed reservoirs of B12.  B12 is often low in diets that do not have animal products (vegetarianism - tempeh and spirulina are supposed to be rich in B12 but really they are analogues that bind to the B12 receptors and leave the individual at a loss for B12), diseases of the autoimmune system like celiac disease or Crohn's, etc. And it doesn't have to be a diet deficiency.  There are many things that can go wrong in the human body to block B12 absorption.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is easy enough to fix with a B12 injection, but time is critical for infants and can easily lead to brain damage if left untreated.  I'd get your child in tomorrow if possible and ask not only for the B12 test but also just ask for the injection of methylcobalamin (B12 form).  It won't hurt the child to have it (water soluble vitamin that will simply get urinated out if not used), but sometimes the B12 test can be thrown off by certain foods.  And you may see remarkable recovery with the injection.  A urinary MMA test is cheap and very effective at showing a B12 deficiency.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Difficulty in swallowing is a very common issue with B12 deficiency. If your child is B12 deficient, they may need injections periodically.  That's why you want the B12 and urinary MMA test first to prove the deficiency.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last thing, the US standards for blood serum B12 are 200-1800 ng/L, but other countries are using the Japanese studies and the higher ranges as the standard.  Infants should really be above 1000 ng/L because they are brain building, but if your child is below 650 ng/L, they are low and need supplementation.  I'm celiac and I supplement B12, and I have a hard time keeping mine above 700 ng/L.  I suspect that with the difficulty swallowing, if it's B12 deficiency, you will see scores from your infant that are in the 100-400 range. That's far too low.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: And I didn't include that you and your husband are not at fault for delayed development issues.  You are seeing them now.  You are taking action. Don't beat yourself up over this, please.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24223" LastEditorUserId="24223" LastEditDate="2016-09-15T00:38:51.930" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T00:38:51.930" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27147" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27135" CreationDate="2016-09-15T11:49:44.917" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's quite normal. Don't worry about it and concentrate on the process of playing the game, and if he wins point out what he did well and could have improved on (in that order) and exactly the same if he loses. It's an important social skill to learn. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fixing games I personally found to be counter-productive. My eldest started saying things like &quot;It's my turn to win.&quot; thereby completely misunderstanding the point of a game -- and he expected this from his peers too. So we moved to games with a purely random nature so that it's clear that no-one can win by skill, and once he'd got used to losing those games graciously (and winning graciously too) then he started being able to lose games where although still random, there's some skill involved, but the best player can still lose. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Games like Monster Bingo are good for starters, as is snap, then on to memory games, snap, card games like whist and ultimately draughts and chess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9121" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T11:49:44.917" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27149" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26871" CreationDate="2016-09-15T15:03:54.827" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Morning sickness is very common in early pregnancy, this can last from weeks to months. It is often smell associated&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Few remedies:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eat something before getting out from bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If pregnant women's tummy is empty, stomach acids feast on stomach lining, causing nausea. Eat small amounts throughout the day to avoid becoming too full, or too hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Hydrate yourself, drink fluids throughout the day to avoid dehydration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Avoid spicy, greasy foods for dinner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suggested Meals&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cold foods (sandwiches, raw vegetables, salad when properly prepared to prevent listeria)&#xA;Bland foods (chicken soup, broth, plain baked potato)&#xA;Plain vegetables or fruits&#xA;Keep meals small, but eat as frequently as you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Suggested Snacks to Eat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lemons (Eat them, suck on them, or sniff them.)&#xA;Ginger (ginger ale soda, ginger tea, ginger jam on toast, ginger snaps)&#xA;Peppermint tea&#xA;Crackers&#xA;Jell-O&#xA;Flavored popsicles&#xA;Pretzels&#xA;Vitamin B6: Taking Vitamin B6 (50 mg) daily has been shown to help with pregnancy-induced nausea.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though ginger and raspberry are said to relieve morning sickness, there are few limitations one should know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Webmd says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ginger -- in tea, candied, or in capsules -- can be effective in fighting nausea. Don't exceed more than 1,000 mg of ginger a day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raspberry tea has been used by many pregnant women to ease morning sickness; there is currently some debate about its safety, however, so don't drink this without speaking to your physician first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some medicines prescribed by doctors also help in relieving morning sickness, if medicines suggested by your doctor is not covering under your insurance, try to let him know about this, he may change the medicine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/morning-sickness-relief/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/morning-sickness-relief/&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/morning-sickness-misery&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/morning-sickness-misery&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22197" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T15:03:54.827" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27151" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27094" CreationDate="2016-09-15T16:11:44.197" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;A combination of both DIY and pre fab would best suit you. Things like slides you may want to replace as your children grow, so I wouldn't got for anything fixed while they are small. &#xA;Sandpits are relatively easy to construct yourself. If you have grass you can dig out a measured patch, use a weed liner in the bottom. Sleepers can be cut and screwed together for the main structure and a lid added (made of wood that's been treated or tarp). &#xA;Monkey bars and climbing ropes are something we haven't attempted at home - this is where I'd want a professional! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24417" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T16:11:44.197" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27152" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-15T16:17:39.583" Score="2" ViewCount="120" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a working mom and I intend to express milk at my office say by around 11.30 and by 2. I am staying in India, Bangalore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Now, can I mix the milk expressed these two times if they both&#xA;are at room temperature?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can I refridgerate this combined milk after coming home (by&#xA;around 3 pm)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can this milk be used to feed my baby the next day when I am out to&#xA;office again? (before 36 hours of time of expressed milk)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24423" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-30T16:08:24.470" LastActivityDate="2018-11-30T16:08:24.470" Title="How to store breastmilk?" Tags="|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27154" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27152" CreationDate="2016-09-15T20:09:55.487" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I do a quick math of the recommended storage times&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;, then probably yes, but you could be getting very, very close to the &quot;unsafe&quot; threshold.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you should change or eliminate is the storage and transport at room temperature part, because that will be the time of fastest bacterial growth. If you have access to a refrigerator at work, put your milk in it to cool it down quickly. If that's not possible, you'll need a form of insulated bag or container and ice packs. This will also be handy to transport the milk home - Bangalore can be quite hot, as we all know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mixing the milk is not really a problem, especially if you are pumping just for the next day, not for long-term storage. But make sure that whoever handles it does not warm the entire batch, just enough for one feeding. This is one of the reasons I personally preferred to store &quot;single servings&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And especially where babies with their sensitive digestive system and breast milk are involved, it is better to be on the safe side...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Using the numbers from the CDC, cited &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/18263/how-long-does-breast-milk-last-after-taken-from-the-fridge?rq=1&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;11:30 to 3:00 -&gt; 3.5 hours or 7/12 of the 6h at room temperature window. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This leaves 5/12 of the 5 days in the refrigerator, i.e. 50 hours.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Going by the (larger) numbers quoted &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8410/how-to-properly-store-breastmilk?rq=1&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;11:30 to 3:00 -&gt; 3.5 hours or 7/12 of the 6h at room temperature window. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;This leaves 5/12 of the 4 days in the refrigerator, i.e. 32 hours.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; numbers are estimates, so use common sense and cool the milk if possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some recommended background reading on food safety from our sister site &lt;a href=&quot;http://cooking.stackexchange.com&quot;&gt;Seasoned Advice&lt;/a&gt; can be found &lt;a href=&quot;https://cooking.stackexchange.com/questions/34670/how-do-i-know-if-food-left-at-room-temperature-is-still-safe-to-eat&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-09-15T20:15:04.857" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27155" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12635" CreationDate="2016-09-16T00:42:53.757" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My not quite two year old with a small amount of tutelage was cutting like a pro within 10 minutes of me placing her fingers in the proper position and telling her how to open and close. This is not uncommon.  They can master this WAY before age four!! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24426" LastEditorUserId="6561" LastEditDate="2016-09-16T08:52:14.727" LastActivityDate="2016-09-16T08:52:14.727" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27156" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-16T04:51:51.907" Score="0" ViewCount="820" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 9 months old has cries a lot without her mother, he is very smart to know when her mother is leaving during sleep for bathroom and check to see if someone is there, cries when he sees me.Same case when holding him in arms with me and her. Although he is like that with everyone but with me he is special cry baby. &#xA;It is sad and frustrating because we had same off-time from work and give him time. I had started work in recent weeks, my mrs is terminally ill and get really tired and hands me baby in frustration and anger but the baby just start crying. &#xA;Lately it has been embarrassing for me as of why he does that, does it has anything to do with my mrs letting him have her milk all night or sleeping next to him. (out of crib), i don't mind that baby is attached to mom, it's why he cries and run away when i am trying to calm him down? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7778" LastActivityDate="2016-09-16T10:30:29.420" Title="Baby won't settle down without mother" Tags="|infant|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27157" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27152" CreationDate="2016-09-16T10:18:05.660" Score="0" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is not preferably to mix breastmilk expressed at different times, since the lifetime of both quantities will differ. Plus the expressed milk comes out warm, around 37°C and it is also not recommended to mix breasmilk at different temperatures then refrigerate it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Due to the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/recommendations/handling_breastmilk.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;CDC Website&lt;/a&gt; breastmilk is safe for 6-8 hrs at room temperature which is equivalent to 25°C.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So probably the milk you expressed at 11:30 should be still safe for your baby till you refrigerate it at home. To take more precautions you can place it in an insulated cooler bag to increase its lifetime in case you are not able to refrigerate it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To be more sure your baby is drinking safe milk, someone can taste it before offering it to him. If it tasted bitter then it is spoiled. Babies almost know to taste, and he shall refuse it if it tasted bad.&#xA;These are some &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.wikihow.com/Know-when-Expressed-Breast-Milk-Is-Spoiled&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;steps&lt;/a&gt; to check the spoilage of milk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;3&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Once refrigerated, then the milk will be safe till 3 days at least. Then yea your baby can take it the next day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastActivityDate="2016-09-16T10:18:05.660" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27158" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27156" CreationDate="2016-09-16T10:30:29.420" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is totally normal during this age. Babies tend to have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/0_separation-anxiety_145.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;separation anxiety&lt;/a&gt; at this age approximately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So he thinks now that you are going to de-attach him from his mom, especially if he is a breastfed baby then this will get harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to make him love you more by playing with him games he like, singing for him, or giving him some toys, maybe feeding him, or giving him his bottle, take him for walks, etc... This might take few time bit he will get used soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2395" LastActivityDate="2016-09-16T10:30:29.420" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27159" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27082" CreationDate="2016-09-17T11:30:38.403" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are so many possible reasons for you to see a smile/smirk that there is no single answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she could be smiling because she feels superior and is uninterested in what you are saying&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she could be very nervous or upset and the outward expression of this is a smile&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;she could be happy you are paying attention to her so is smiling&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;etc&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What is important is to try and understand what the smile means - to her. She may not even be aware she is doing it, but communication will be key here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-09-17T11:30:38.403" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27160" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27161" CreationDate="2016-09-17T11:46:34.123" Score="84" ViewCount="22626" Body="&lt;p&gt;I recently turned 13, I'm in 8th grade, and my life is going pretty well. I'm getting straight A's in school, along with possibly getting a paper published in a legitimate mathematics journal. I also have a pretty active social life, but not the kind where I go to parties all the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom, however, seems to find everything wrong  with me. For example, whenever she catches me on my computer doing a programming project (sometimes things I actually earn money for, so I'm not just &quot;wasting time&quot;) or something that I find really fun, she starts yelling* at me for spending too much time at the computer and saying I should be doing homework, even though I work the free time into my schedule after all my homework is done. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She also gets mad at me for even the tiniest slip up at school. For example, I recently got a 91 on a spanish quiz. It's my lowest spanish grade so far and didn't really affect my grade at all, but I got yelled at for almost 30 minutes for it and she always brings it up whenever I come home with a 100 on a test.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's the littlest things. I have a pair of socks on the floor, it triggers a rant. My backpack is heavy, it triggers a rant. I don't understand why, but I've learned that arguing just makes it worse so I just kind of let it happen. She's an awesome mom otherwise, it's just that I think she has unreasonably high expectations for me in every facet of my life. My dad is pretty chill and gets mad at her when he sees her yelling at me for something small, so that just kind of snowballs and creates more stress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do  to get her a bit off my back and make some mistakes without her intervening constantly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;*Well, not really yelling. You know that &quot;I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed&quot; catch phrase? It's like that, but she is visibly mad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20136" LastEditorDisplayName="user420" LastEditDate="2016-09-20T14:51:40.170" LastActivityDate="2016-12-14T02:46:06.627" Title="What do I do about my mom setting her expectations too high?" Tags="|teen|parents|communication|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27161" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-17T14:52:07.053" Score="74" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have lots of options. Here's one:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At dinner one evening, you can say you have a serious announcement. Then tell your mom and dad that you're pregnant. You're really sorry you slipped up, but it will all be OK, not to worry, because you're in love and you plan to marry the father. Unfortunately, you can't bring the father over to meet them because he's wearing an ankle monitor and can't leave his house for a few more months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After the screaming and the tears die down, let them know it's all a fabrication, but that is what some girls' lives are really like, and that's a real cause for disappointment, not a 91 on a Spanish test in a class in which you're getting an A, or a lot of other things your mom is disappointed about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would take a lot of courage and fortitude to withstand the aftermath, but it might get your point across.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, you can go to your school counselor and start meeting weekly with them to discuss the situation at home. What your mom is doing is unhealthy in a lot of ways, especially for you. When your counselor feels they have a good grip on the situation, they can meet with your parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another option is to appeal to your dad - who seems to understand that your mom has unrealistic expectations - to start family therapy. A specialist might be needed here to get to the root(s) of the problem and effect some change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can try to have some very adult and honest conversations with your mom. Ask her what her childhood and teens were like, what she's happiest about and what her biggest regrets are. That &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; get her to thinking about how she's trying to work through her own past (just a guess) by controlling your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to know this is your mom's problem, and what you're suffering is its side effects, so that's great for you. The point is, it is a problem, and it's not really about you. Your mom needs help, and likely it will involve a professional, as she most likely will not/cannot give due weight/consideration to anything you say to her in an attempt to get her to change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, you can just recognize this is not really about you and suffer her comments, but this will get worse - a lot worse - before it gets better, because your teens involve distancing yourself from your parents (expressing differing opinions from theirs) in anticipation of healthy independence, and if she doesn't change, the &quot;disappointment&quot; will get worse. So I wouldn't recommend this as an option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's a difficult situation and I hope you find a solution that effects a positive change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-09-17T15:05:27.373" LastActivityDate="2016-09-17T15:05:27.373" CommentCount="25" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27162" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24664" CreationDate="2016-09-17T17:29:16.750" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child will probably have a much harder time picking up English if it is only spoken between you and your wife and never directed at the child.  So I would definitely go for you speaking English to your child, your nanny speaking Italian to the child, and your partner speaking Korean with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should try to balance the hours for each language as much as possible, both the hours your child is spoken to in a certain language and the hours the child speaks in a certain language (once it starts speaking).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We speak Dutch and French at home with our children with a bit of English sometimes and we live in a German-speaking environment.  My children are 3 and 5 years old and are both fluent in 3 languages. My eldest also understands and speaks quite a bit of English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20803" LastActivityDate="2016-09-17T17:29:16.750" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27164" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-17T21:53:29.650" Score="2" ViewCount="2936" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a six year old old grandnephew who when he gets mad screams at the top of his lungs and when he crys  about something he somehow can move it up a couple of octaves.  I want to smack him.  I don't.  I have tried ignoring it, threatened him and I've asked what is wrong?  That makes it worse.  Most of the time it is his fault for his brother's retaliations.  This is a daily problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24438" LastActivityDate="2022-08-06T00:21:33.513" Title="Six year old boy screams" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27167" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-18T06:05:20.117" Score="1" ViewCount="168" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 and a half year old has done this for the past 6 months. If she falls asleep in the car for an afternoon nap, when she wakes up she goes BERZERK!&#xA;She'll start kicking the back of the front seat, tries to kick her brother in the car seat next to her, etc. She's inconsolable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She basically is screaming that she needs to get out of the car...and sometimes we can't accommodate her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general she is a sweet girl. What could be causing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T18:11:10.920" Title="Child goes crazy (almost possesed) when woken up from a nap in car" Tags="|naps|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27168" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-18T06:21:41.590" Score="3" ViewCount="2397" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the father of a 3-year-old boy. He is extremely possessive about his things and refuses to share with other kids. But he cries for things which other kids have. He also doesn't mingle with other kids and complains a lot. He is cribbing and crying when in public functions. In addition, ee is very attached to me, e. g. when other kids are playing, he is looking for me.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24442" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-26T13:00:30.900" LastActivityDate="2019-04-26T13:00:30.900" Title="What to do about my extremely possessive 3-year-old who doesn't mingle with other kids?" Tags="|pre-schooler|socialization|attachment|sharing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27169" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-18T13:26:06.180" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just do as we (parents) do with annoying kids: get your mother a derivative. Maybe a cat or a dog would help? Or complain that you cannot concentrate on your homework because of the neigbourghs. Best would be to get her other kids but I bet this is not an option? (I'm joking here obviously, but...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="122" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T13:26:06.180" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27170" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24328" CreationDate="2016-09-18T13:49:26.093" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is within expectations for a healthy baby. Some do it this early, some don't. In general most developmental milestones have a wide range of expected times, and as long as they are roughly within this all is expected to be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T13:49:26.093" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27171" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-18T14:15:19.887" Score="22" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about, one day when things aren't frantic, you initiate a discussion about rules and expectations. Some guidelines that are there 'in the background' so that you aren't being picked on for arbitrary things. It could give you a chance to put some 'basis in fact' into the standards you're expected to be meeting. You could make points like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your homework, when you time-manage it well, only takes (say) 1 hour 30 mins on average. You'd prefer she held you to time managing the homework well, rather than encouraging you to spread it out.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Almost all valuable knowledge-based activities (academic, business, whatever) are done on a computer, so using a computer is not 'messing around'.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;There's often an 'S-curve' relationship between effort and results. 80-90% is often about the mark that a good student should be getting. Students who get 100% are often wasting a lot of time going for those last few marks (when they could be spending that time doing other valuable things).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;you understand you need to tidy up socks, but sometimes it's more efficient to do a tidying 'sweep' now and again than to always be tidying up at the earliest opportunity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(This idea is based on some 'guidelines' that a young relative made with her parents where she agreed to let them know where she was at a certain level of granularity, and they would dial back their attempts to locate her all the time. It was stuck on the wall - near the phone!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You sound like someone that wants to be really good at a whole bunch of things rather than be 'perfect' at a few things. In the long run, that's very likely to be the higher-achieving approach. Perhaps get your dad on board with helping to get your mum on board. Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit in response to a couple of comments below: I &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; agree that if your mum 'has a real problem' in some sense, the above probably isn't directly applicable. On the other hand, if she is trying to be constructive and just getting it a bit wrong, hopefully you are getting to the age where she may deign to have an 'adult' conversation with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24450" LastEditorDisplayName="user24450" LastEditDate="2016-09-22T14:28:43.643" LastActivityDate="2016-09-22T14:28:43.643" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27172" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-18T15:51:56.790" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is some basic game theory going on - she has high expectations and you're a great kid (honestly).  I see that you're a boy and you have to realize how &lt;em&gt;rare&lt;/em&gt; you are.  I work in a sales shop where I meet mothers all the time and their sons do nothing at all, except video games and entertainment.  You work at a young age, hang out with friends and invest in yourself - way ahead of your group.  But game theory is game theory - people will continue to do what they're rewarded for and your mom in a sense is being rewarded by pressuring you.  This is just a reality from her perspective.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do need to realize that your mom probably gets that you're ahead of your peers and sees her pressure as part of why, along with you constantly trying to impress her.  In other words, from her perspective, what she is doing is working.  She gets a reward for this and continues to pressure you more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she continues to annoy you, rather than fight it - especially since you know it's not true - go to the opposite extreme and she'll start to back off.  For example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mom:&lt;/strong&gt; are you going to sit around all day on your computer?  You need to hang out with friends!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You:&lt;/strong&gt; yeah mom, I'm never going to talk to another person as long as I'm alive.  Computers are so much more interesting than humans.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's one thing if you were lazy like this, but since you're not, she'll take the hint that she's annoying you.  As long as you're performing, she'll get what this means.  &lt;em&gt;If this was true&lt;/em&gt;, however, it wouldn't work with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, be thankful you have a mom with high expectations.  Kids who have parents with high expectations do more in life than kids who don't.  That's just a reality; we live up to what others expect in us.  What would suck more is if a parent told you, &quot;Oh wow, you got an A+.  I never saw that coming.&quot;  Think about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24451" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T15:51:56.790" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27173" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-18T16:50:32.210" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;tl;dr;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that best course of action is to talk with another family member or maybe even better a psychologist (there should be such people at school or some local organization) that can help you understand better the situation and possibly talk with your parents. If your dad can see that your mother's reactions are inappropriate, probably better to ask him if you together can get professional consulting about the whole situation. That would be ideal because it's more about between two them than between your mother and you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;-- boring nonsense below --&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hate and anger won't help as you have already observed. You must be smarter than most kids to have such observations on the situation and trying to find help in such a way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some good points in Mazura's answer. It is truly sad but there are no perfect parents on earth. And unfortunately children are picking not only the good but also the bad things.&#xA;What is good in your life is mostly because of your parents and what is not good, also mostly because of your parents. So try to keep a balanced view of the whole situation. &quot;Honor our Father and Mother&quot; I think means honor them for what they are good and understand they might have lived in far worse situation, probably they are much better parents than their parents and pray for yourself to be an even better parent one day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now IMO it's ok to search for a solution to problems you have. But honestly, I don't think with your 13 years and without special education, you can understand why your mother behaves like that. Even less likely it is for a child to correct their parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. I know it sounds stupid to you, it wouldn't make sense to me at that age either. But now I can tell you that there is a big difference how one perceives things when 10yo, 20yo or 30yo (with and without own children). It is not based on being smarter or something, it's more about personal experience and observation of other people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24100" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T16:50:32.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27174" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26657" CreationDate="2016-09-18T16:55:28.407" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I disagree that switching schools won't help. One of the problems with selective mutism is that peers begin to expect the child not to talk. When the child does speak, it may elicit reactions of surprise from peers. From personal experience, I know that these reactions are very uncomfortable to a person with selective mutism. At a new school, peers won't have these expectations. The Wikipedia page for &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;selective mutism&lt;/a&gt; actually does mention switching schools as part of treatment, but it also has this cautionary statement: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;However, changing school is worth considering only if the alternative&#xA;  environment is highly supportive, otherwise a whole new environment&#xA;  could also be a social shock for the individual and/or deprive them of&#xA;  any friends or support they have currently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do agree with Leopoldo Sparks that early treatment is best and that you should seek professional treatment, but I think you need to consider how the child will react to treatment. From personal experience, I know that there is a chance seeking treatment will cause a backlash: When my parents tried to get me treatment for selective mutism in middle school, I was very offended and angry at them and refused to cooperate. According to &lt;i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.selectivemutism.org/resources/library/SM%20General%20Information/Older%20Children%20and%20Teens.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Older Child or Teen with Selective Mutism&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/i&gt; children of eight or nine years old are considered to be older children and will be able to see through some treatments as attempts to get them to speak, and they might resist treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The article goes on to suggest that older children need to be in control of their own treatment, which I think is true. My advice would be to be very open and supportive with your child when seeking treatment. You need to tell her that you're trying to help her and make sure she agrees to treatment rather than trying to force her. As for determining whether to switch schools, I would ask the child if she thinks that would help and have her make that choice. You said she was bright, so you might even be able to use the opportunity to find a school with a better curriculum. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24453" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T16:55:28.407" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27175" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27167" CreationDate="2016-09-18T18:11:10.920" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It could be a recurring nightmare, especially one that involves being trapped in a car seat or car.  You might consider stopping and hugging her until she calms down, but not getting out of the car, when that's possible.  If both parents are in the car, one could sit next to her so as to reassure her more immediately if she wakes up from a nap.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T18:11:10.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27176" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-18T18:47:34.867" Score="-4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your mom wants you to follow a more standard path through life, completing your education before getting a professional job, etc.  She thinks you're at a time in your life when it's better to invest in your future, primarily through education, than to get sidetracked into things which are not academic learning.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This raises a question:  how interested are you in academic learning yourself?  If you are interested, don't just finish your homework; get textbooks for the next grade and start learning that material.  Tell your mom that you feel that school is not challenging you, and you'd really like to skip a grade, or another grade if you've already skipped one; maybe she'll fight for you to do so.  Learn calculus and physics if you haven't, or relativity and quantum theory.  Calculus and other forms of advanced math, at least, will be useful for advanced software engineering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're prefer just to coast in school and spend the time doing other things that you enjoy, then you could try to head things off by showing appreciation.  For example, if you've already finished all your homework when she complains about how you should do that first, tell her, &quot;I've already finished my homework, mom, thanks for teaching me good working habits when I was little!&quot; and give her a big hug.  There's at least a chance that will work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T18:47:34.867" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27177" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27168" CreationDate="2016-09-18T18:57:22.597" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make it clear that his things are his, and he gets final say on whether or not to share them.  Making him feel that he has control of the situation, at least with respect to his own toys, will make him feel more secure and perhaps more inclined to share.  However, also make it clear that things that other kids have are theirs, and he has to get permission to play with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you suggest that he share something, say something like, &quot;so and so would like to share your toy, can you let him play with it?  It would make him very happy.&quot;  Also point out that if he shares his toys with others, they are more likely to share with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T18:57:22.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27178" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-18T21:15:19.823" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You need to start pulling back from your mother and engage her less with the day to day details of your life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you're coping well with your studies, have your own interests and you're self motivated so I don't think you need your mother to be involved in every single aspect of your life any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over time you can involve her less and less. You don't need to tell her about every single assignment or exam, you don't have to tell her about every piece of homework, you don't have to tell her about every grade (good or bad). You don't have to tell her every single person you're hanging out with on the weekends, or where you're going, or what side projects you're working on, or what you did in class today.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying you should be dishonest, or hide things from her. If she asks about something in particular then answer her honestly (although you don't have to go into more detail than necessary). Of course she'll have insights into your life from other sources (report cards, from your friends parents, etc.), and in those cases give her honest information, but not more than you have to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It won't totally eliminate her interference, but over time there will be less and less for her to react to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can't criticise you for working on a side project if she can't tell a side project from homework&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can't criticise your performance on a particular exam if she didn't know you had it and she only sees your aggregated result on our report card&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;She can't criticise you for having a heavy backpack if you lift it from the car yourself and she never has an opportunity to touch it&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She can still criticise you for leaving socks on the floor, but you can learn to deal with that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over time she'll hopefully get used to a lower degree of involvement in your life, and hopefully she'll also develop trust in your ability to manage your life as things continue to go on fine without her knowing about every single aspect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24456" LastActivityDate="2016-09-18T21:15:19.823" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27179" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-19T02:53:29.277" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ouch OP, you're in a tough situation. My mother did the same stuff, and the only thing I could do was move out as soon as I could. Unfortunately she had a legitimate personality disorder, and the older I grew the more I realised that she wasn't as awesome a mom as I thought she was as a kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a lot of good replies here: appealing to your father, trying to have an honest conversation with your mother, and talking to a counsellor are all things you should do first. Most likely your mom is just cranky about something (like not having enough free time of her own), or is setting her expectations impossibly high. But if that doesn't work out, there's a technique that could make the situation more bearable for you and maybe get her off your back a bit:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she starts picking on you, don't encourage her. Don't give her any kind of feedback that would &quot;reward&quot; her: this means doing your best to not show signs of being upset by her nagging. When she's angry at you for not having a spotless room or not performing perfectly on an exam, just stay relaxed and respond to her calmly and sensibly. When she's screaming about your grades, just respond calmly (but not hushed) that you did good on those tests. If she's yelling that you're on your computer too much, all you need to tell her is that you're working- if she keeps at it, then keep repeating that yes, you're on your computer because you're working. If she rants that your backpack is heavy - &quot;Yes, it's heavy because I have textbooks in it.&quot; If she's berating you because there's a sock on the floor - &quot;Yes, that's a sock. You're right. I'll put it away next time I'm getting dressed.&quot; If all she's after is a fight or an outlet for problems she's facing, eventually she'll realise that she's not going to get it from you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck OP, I hope things look up soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24461" LastEditorUserId="24461" LastEditDate="2016-09-19T07:06:43.263" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T07:06:43.263" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27181" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-19T07:49:13.220" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;She is most likely worried that you end up as a messy computer geek instead of what she wants for you, and none what she has done so far helped (enough) so she has raised her voice more and more until we have the current situation.  You sound quite mature so my question is if you could imagine actually talking to the bottom of the underlying issue with her - I think you need an explicit agreement that you do what she expects within reason and when that is done you have time off you can spend as you wish.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would consider it very important to get to a point where you can get a &quot;Yes/No&quot; answer to &quot;Have I done everything we agreed to, to your satisfaction?&quot;.  She might need time to think over what she wants you to do.  She might also want you to attend sports or similar to counterweight the computer things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mentioned that you earn money from your computer activities.  Is this enough that it could be considered an actual job earning you your own money?  If so, it needs a different status in your relationship with your mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2568" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T07:49:13.220" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27182" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-19T08:06:49.643" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am posting this answer as I have been in your shoes. I can't possibly know if the situation is the same, but it is a possibility.&#xA;The reason my mother was doing that was because she thought I should be the best, perfect, etc, i.e. she had high expectations and thought I am able to meet up to them. She was not doing it on purpose or to diminish what I have accomplished. She was doing it because she genuinely thought I am that great. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So whenever I did not meet the high expectation - like bringing home a not perfect grade, I was always met with the question: &quot;Why?&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her behavior had both negative and positive effects on my life. Negative, because now every little drawback and not perfect outcome I take as personal failure and feel really bad. Positive, because I became very ambitious and I am always striving to improve - both my life and myself. Although, even this could sometimes be negative - sometimes I don't know when to stop. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I am trying to say is that you can start interpreting her behavior differently so that you are not negatively affected by it. Every time she scolds you for not being perfect, just take it as a compliment that you are so great, she thinks you should be perfect. And accept the fact that nobody is perfect so you are as close to perfect as you could possibly be. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24464" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T08:06:49.643" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27183" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-19T08:57:27.113" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a tough choice being a parent (I have two teenage kids, who are VERY different) - on the one hand there's 'tough love' - you can see the child you love making what you consider to be poor choices and getting into some bad habits and you can be ruthless and risk making yourself their enemy by forcing them to do what you want, setting very high standards and holding back on the praise until it's really deserved - giving it more value: or on the other hand, you can praise them profusely, devaluing it and you can treat them like adults, let them make their own mistakes and hopefully learning from them will be a better lesson. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I say, we have two very different kids and the elder one reacts badly to any kind of direction from us, he'll do the opposite just to assert his independence, even if it ends up worse for him. The younger one is very sensible and we can explain our reasoning behind what we'd prefer her to do or stop doing and she'll understand. We often let her choose between what she wants to do and what we'd prefer without too much direction and she'll choose the sensible option unprompted. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We went through a huge period of frustration with the eldest, he's very strong-willed and things often escalated to the point of us screaming at each other and both sides saying things they later regretted. We hate ourselves when this happens, but we are usually acting out of the best of motives. He's convinced he knows what's best for him, but well, we've been teenagers too, and we know for certain we made some very bad choices which our adults selves regret. That hindsight is what drives us to try to persuade him to choose more wisely and it's very frustrating when he won't even listen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said all this in defense of your mother, there are parents who are very controlling and have a very narrow plan in their heads for their offspring and get frustrated when the child shows disregard for it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From your portrayal of her, (as a parent, I must say that our own, and I think, most kids, do tend to exaggerate and tell one side of a story. Actually, that's not fair, I think a lot of adults do that too) this sounds like it could be her problem to some extent. Parents often do know best in a whole range of things and feel it's their job to protect their children, but eventually they have to let go and let you make your own choices, if they don't they risk alienating their kids or (like in our case) having them rebel to everything they say on principle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24465" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T08:57:27.113" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27185" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-19T14:55:27.807" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a 13-year-old, it's reasonable to ask for some element of personal responsibility.  It's also reasonable for parents to only give you as much personal responsibility as they think you can handle.  So ask for it - not as your right, but as something you earn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want to spend your free time on software/football/chess/pokerwork/juggling?  Great - it happens after homework, and homework has to be up to scratch.  Is your homework done?  Yep.  Are you still getting A grades?  Yep.  Then what you do in the remaining time is your call.  If your grades dip, then mom can legitimately ask whether you're cutting homework to spend time on a hobby.  If your grades stay high, you have &lt;strong&gt;earned&lt;/strong&gt; free time to spend on what you choose.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Clothes on the floor?  It's your room - show that you can keep it in reasonable condition.  If it becomes a total mess, mom can legitimately tell you you're not managing and get stricter.  One sock on the floor does not qualify as a mess though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can demonstrate that you can handle these kind of adult decisions, then you can reasonably ask to be treated in a more adult way.  And if mom does nag you, then you've got the facts on your side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as complaining about spending time programming goes though, as a 40-year-old software engineer with 20 years of professional experience behind me, I can testify that every good engineer started doing this kind of thing as a hobby when they were still at school.  She really should &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; be stifling a lucrative future career in software!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14637" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T14:55:27.807" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27186" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-19T15:38:32.143" Score="1" ViewCount="234" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have moved to another country when my child was 4. She was already bilingual, she speaks Dutch and German. Now she is going to an English school and she has stopped speaking either Dutch or German, instead she has started to speak English. Is this normal? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24474" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T21:04:10.837" Title="My child stopped speaking mother-tongues, is this normal?" Tags="|language-development|bilingual|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27187" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27207" CreationDate="2016-09-19T15:45:05.407" Score="9" ViewCount="967" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a relatively problematic situation with my mum that I can't really talk about to somebody.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As long as I remember my mum and me had (at least most of the time) a good relation to each other. &#xA;I'm 21 years old now, after I finished school two years ago, I moved to a larger city (about 150km away, which is considered relatively &quot;far&quot; where I come from ;)) and started working there since the job situation there was and is still much better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since I moved out, my mum called me every evening, the first months I had to come home every weekend (now it's just every second but still a lot especially because it takes me at least three hours to get there). Now, if I'm not at home on weekend she calls me like three or four times, both saturday and sunday. If I'm not at my flat she writes me &quot;tons&quot; of text messages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mum &quot;annoying&quot; (it's not really annoying, but I can't find a word that fits better) me actually keeps me from having my own life I think. &#xA;For example: on our phone call every evening she always asks me if I eventually found a girlfriend which is simply impossible. After an eight hours workday with about one and a half hours of travel time plus about one hour talking to my mum there is not much time left to spend on doing such things. I'd like to use the weekend for something like that but usually I have to spend that time with her as well. She also wants me to move back to her (yes, the same house) after I finished my apprenticeship. To her it also seems obvious that I &quot;want&quot; to spend all of my holiday with her, she never thinks that I could actually want to go somewhere on my own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So instead of using the time I have to solve my own problems I have to either talk with my mum about things I'm not interested in at all (like what her neighbours friend had to lunch..) or help solve her problems, which is pretty difficult sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Every time I tried talking with her about my problem she started to cry or make me feel bad and guilty so I don't know how I could change that situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the problem is that she always used to spend her free time with me instead of her friends or even her husband (my dad ^^) and she wants to keep that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I really hope somebody here has an advice how I could change this situation or talk about it with my mum because it's very frustrating and I actually love my mum, but currently I don't even want to answer the phone when I see it's her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24473" LastEditorUserId="24473" LastEditDate="2016-09-20T05:05:50.143" LastActivityDate="2016-09-21T18:48:41.930" Title="My mum is very intrusive" Tags="|parents|freedom|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27188" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27189" CreationDate="2016-09-19T16:45:06.357" Score="3" ViewCount="137" Body="&lt;p&gt;My toddler doesn't like napping in the car. I have tried to play lullaby music for him so that he can nap as we drive for a long distance, say like 2hrs or less mostly. Most of the time he's just looking out the window the entire drive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are there any technics? Or its just fine for him to stare?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user22314" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T18:38:56.970" Title="How to get a toddler to nap in the carseat during a distance drive" Tags="|toddler|travel|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27189" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27188" CreationDate="2016-09-19T18:38:49.200" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If he's looking out the window, he's likely processing what he sees and benefiting from it.  I wouldn't worry about the fact he doesn't go to sleep unless he is showing other signs of lack of sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the car trip is at nap time and he is missing sleep and getting cranky later, you could consider getting a lower car seat or putting shades on the windows so he will get bored with nothing to look at, and see if that results in napping.  But again, I'd only do that if the lack of a nap is causing problems, as I suspect he's looking and learning from what he sees.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T18:38:49.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27190" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27188" CreationDate="2016-09-19T18:38:56.970" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my experience, children either belong to the subset of children who happily nap/fall asleep in the car, or they belong to the subset that don't unless they're very very tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as techniques for encouraging it, either silence or very quiet non-verbal music can sometimes help, and definitely a window shade can help. If your child likes looking out the window, though, he/she will likely dislike a window shade, so be prepared for an argument there.  Otherwise, just making sure your child is comfortable, particularly in regards temperature (not too cold, in particular) will usually be all you can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as being okay to stare, sure, why not?  Lots of interesting things happen outside a car - other cars/trucks/etc. passing by, trees, colors, etc... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T18:38:56.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27191" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27186" CreationDate="2016-09-19T18:43:42.163" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want her to keep up her Dutch or German, you'll need to provide opportunities to interact with people who speak Dutch or German but who don't understand English very well.  This doesn't need to be immediate; once she is a native speaker of the language, exposure later in life - such as for example if you were to move to Germany in ten years, when she's a teenager - would work fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-09-19T21:04:10.837" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T21:04:10.837" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27192" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-19T20:49:22.940" Score="3" ViewCount="334" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is two and a half, with developmental delay. He has low tone muscles, which we work on intensively with psychotherapy. He can now crawl, but not walk. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't talk, nor say any words, and doesn't babble really either. He does &quot;blow raspberries&quot;,  also infrequently makes ahhh sounds, short open syllable.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I go to speech therapy, where we work on understanding and language, through pictures, photos etc. He seems to be understanding nicely, just doesn't express himself with any words or sounds. If he wants something (like to drink) he just cries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been to other therapist, who say they can help when he starts to vocalize, like make any sounds, then we can play with his lips etc, to product sounds, even unintentionally. But though this he learns. However, while he still isn't making any sounds, there is nothing they can do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am looking for any methods or techniques that can help arouse his speech, to start him making any sounds. Any ways to strenghen the muscles in his throut etc. It has been suggested, just like he has low tone muscles in his body (which make it hard for him to walk etc), this affects speach as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you have any ideas to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24479" LastEditorUserId="24479" LastEditDate="2016-09-19T20:57:06.417" LastActivityDate="2016-12-04T20:57:00.883" Title="How can I get my child (two and a half) to vocalize, to make any sounds," Tags="|development|language-development|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27193" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3630" CreationDate="2016-09-19T21:26:09.050" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not speaking at 16 months is not that big a deal.  There are plenty of harmless reasons for a speech delay, including for example multiple languages spoken at home.  Einstein supposedly didn't speak until age 3 or 4.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not understanding what you say is a much bigger deal, as it normally happens much earlier, but is difficult to test for as a first time parent.  One thing you can test for is whether the child can hear you:  do something loud that the child responds to when he can see you, like clapping or ringing a bell, which does not transmit vibrations through the floor, then do the same thing when the child is facing away from you and see if there's still a response.  If not, get his hearing tested pronto - the earlier hearing problems are identified, the more chance of a successful intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his hearing is okay, but he never responds to simple requests - like offering a favorite food - you'll want to get further testing.  I would start by getting recommendations from your pediatrician in that case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-19T21:26:09.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27194" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-19T22:00:27.997" Score="2" ViewCount="215" Body="&lt;p&gt;After strapping the 2-year-old into the car seat he immediately takes his arms out of the straps. The only way to get them back in is to stop the car and put them back in. Each time after that the arms come out again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is still locked in at the hips. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21407" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-21T17:33:01.440" LastActivityDate="2018-07-21T17:33:01.440" Title="How to get a 2-year-old to stay in his seat belt?" Tags="|toddler|safety|car-seat|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27195" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-19T23:15:38.277" Score="4" ViewCount="5912" Body="&lt;p&gt;We're thinking of moving to a new apartment in New York. It's next to a big construction site, where there will be drilling for another few months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone read any research on safe levels / exposures to construction noise and what to do to minimize damage?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are noise cancellation headphones safe if worn for longer periods of time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24480" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-04-30T12:24:03.870" LastActivityDate="2019-05-01T07:50:58.647" Title="Is construction noise harmful to a newborn and how to protect them?" Tags="|newborn|research|noise|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27196" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27194" CreationDate="2016-09-20T01:27:49.913" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First: make sure you have the belt sufficiently tight.  A tight enough 5-point carseat belt should not allow the child to remove his arms.  Tight enough means you can get two fingers under it &lt;em&gt;but not more than that&lt;/em&gt;.  It's probably a lot tighter than you think it should be - and definitely will be tight for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second: talk to your child.  Two is old enough to start understanding &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt;.  Keep at it.  Model for him.  Each time you have to fix it, stop like you say, fix it, and talk about why he needs to keep the belt on properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-09-20T01:27:49.913" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27198" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-20T09:17:57.483" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make some more mistakes.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, you need to lower the bar of expectations. Here are some ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Come home (seemingly or really) drunk some time, stumble and break something.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bang up the car (hint: tail lights are relatively inexpensive and easy to replace, paint not so).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bring a boyfriend over. Yes, boyfriend, and make it look like you're into each other whether you are gay or not.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start preaching to your parents about some controversial higher cause as if you've become a fanatic. Vegetarianism is a good one, Islam is another. Keep it up for at least a week.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Come home with a bloody nose and a black eye. Tell them &quot;uh, I fell&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the best case, the bar of expectations has been lowered and you'll no longer have to excuse your every action. In the worst case, you will learn a bit more about your parents' attitudes regarding sex, violence, religion, and personal responsibilities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1419" LastActivityDate="2016-09-20T09:17:57.483" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27199" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-20T09:59:22.280" Score="2" ViewCount="331" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 20-month-old constantly demands that we pick him up, usually only when we are at home. Once picked up he will normally direct us into the kitchen where he will point at foods etc. that he wants to touch/taste/smell or other interesting objects. He isn't normally hungry, just curious, which is obviously great however it's got to the point where my wife and I can hardly sit down for longer than a minute and our backs are breaking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We feel that we shouldn't give in to his demands to be picked up all the time and on the few times we've said no he has a tantrum. How should we best deal with this behaviour?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24486" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-02T12:21:22.557" LastActivityDate="2019-08-02T12:21:22.557" Title="How to deal with a 20-month-old demanding to be picked up all the time?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|communication|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27201" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27199" CreationDate="2016-09-20T12:08:30.600" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pick him up when it's not inconvenient - he's almost certainly learning useful information from the excursions - and when it is inconvenient, put him off with a simple explanation, like &quot;daddy is busy right now, sorry&quot;, or &quot;I can do it in five minutes if you're quiet&quot;.  If you say &quot;if you're quiet&quot;, be sure you don't give in if he has a tantrum instead, but do follow through if he is quiet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also occasionally redirect him by suggesting he point at things which you can then get down and show him.  If it's something harmless, you might let him play with it to give you some quiet time - but be prepared for the mess afterwards.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's almost two.  There will be some tantrums.  You're going to be dealing with tantrums for a couple of years.  Might as well start learning how to cope with them now&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-20T12:08:30.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27202" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27199" CreationDate="2016-09-20T12:24:44.207" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your kid is 20 months old - can he walk? (Or &quot;waddle&quot; a bit?) You could instead of carrying him everywhere help him &quot;walking&quot; there, so that he can explore a bit himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he play a lot with toys? At that age kids still need heavy supervision, but you could sit down with him and show him toys, touch them, smell them. Maybe get together a box of &quot;kid-safe&quot; stuff and hand it to him, so he can dig through it. As a bonus for that: He can also start to learn &quot;cleaning up&quot; at that age, you could do that together if everything is scattered around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's pretty normal that kids at that age still want the help and safety of adults to show them around, but you can definitely already make some first steps to minor autonomy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/27201/24031&quot;&gt;Warren Dew's&lt;/a&gt; answer is also very good in regards to &quot;in 5 minutes&quot; and tantrums. You don't have to do everything they say and kids &lt;strong&gt;will&lt;/strong&gt; throw tantrums because of that - but they must understand this somewhere down the line, and sooner is better than later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24031" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.103" LastActivityDate="2016-09-20T12:24:44.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27203" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27187" CreationDate="2016-09-20T12:26:27.767" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Consider limiting the times that you'll take calls from your mother.  You don't need to tell her; just stop answering except at those times.  She'll eventually learn to call at the times that you're likely to answer, and you can have the rest of the time to yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want, you could even call her at those times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-20T12:26:27.767" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27204" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-20T14:29:40.403" Score="0" ViewCount="894" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girl is 6 years old. Often, when she pulls her panties down, they seem to get kind of stuck to her skin, often between her legs. This is pretty embarrassing for her, considering she just started school, and needs to remove her panties after gymnastic class, to shower.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She says that they are not too small. It also happen when they are dry. She mostly gets them off, on the second try. It happens with most panties, so not just one pair.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What could cause this, or what could solve the problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24492" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-10-28T18:54:00.747" LastActivityDate="2023-09-18T01:30:23.810" Title="My 6-year-old daughter's undies get stuck to her skin. How to solve this problem?" Tags="|primary-schooler|clothes|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27205" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27160" CreationDate="2016-09-20T16:49:31.627" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First of all, this is not a problem that &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; should have to solve. You are 13, which means you're not an adult, still living at home, and in all aspects still very much under your parents' control. You need others to help you solve this problem.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Involve your father, tell him how much it bothers you. He should act on your behalf and for your benefit. Another option would be to talk to a school counsellor, if your school has one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A good outcome of such a conversation would be seeing a therapist with the entire family — you, your mother, your father. A therapist should be a neutral third party, who can help mediate between the three of you. Also, if your mother needs to hear some unpleasant truths, she needs to hear them from someone who's not a part of the relation. That way, she has no reason to get mad at you for what is said, and your father does not have to pick sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the shorter term, a technique you could employ is &quot;reflective listening&quot;, to defuse her anger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you do, basically, is first listening to her, then summarising what she has said fairly (however unfair &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; may think it is), and only &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; offering a counter point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;An example:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;Okay mom, so you're saying I should not be wasting my time on the computer; I should do homework instead, is that correct?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &quot;Here's my agenda, this is the homework for the coming days. I've done this, this, and that. I still need input from my teacher for this, so I can't do that yet. So I have no more homework to do at the moment.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;  &quot;Also, if I complete this computer program, I will earn $X with it, since mr. Doe will pay me for it. Is it okay if I complete it?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2016-09-20T16:49:31.627" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27206" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27047" CreationDate="2016-09-21T07:26:20.530" Score="9" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it true that leaving such a young baby with his grandparents could&#xA;create long-term trauma?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, I don't think there is any scientific evidence one way or another. I could not find any study that deals specifically with babies being in non-parental care for a week or more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, serious trauma seems very unlikely to me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;First, there is quite a bit of research into non-parental day care (i.e. care for a day at a time), and the general consensus is that on balance the effect is mostly positive, and at any rate other factors (relationship to parents, contact to other children) are more important. See for example this article: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201010/is-non-parental-daycare-bad-children&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Is Non-Parental Daycare Bad for Children?&lt;/a&gt;, and the study &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.gov.mb.ca/healthychild/ecd/ecd_npceffects.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The long term effects of non-parental care on children&lt;/a&gt;. While your case is a bit different, this does not point at likely harm. In particular, small babies live very much in the &amp;quot;here and now&amp;quot;, so it's unclear whether several consecutive days vs. single days makes much difference.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Secondly, small children are very adaptable, and while they will know that it's not their parents looking after them, as long as they are well looked after (both physically and emotionally), they will be fine. Note that for example in many families one parent (usually the father) is only really present during the weekend - still even small children will accept them as a father, despite them only being present a few days a week. So children can definitely accept someone as a caregiver who they do not see every day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The most important point, I think, is to make sure that the baby knows the grandparents before being left with them for a week - and equally important the grandparents know the baby, and their peculiarities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Spend a few afternoons together first (if that has not happened already), then try leaving your baby with granny and grandpa for a night. This gives both sides time to get used to each other. And finally, if your baby should really suffer from being with your grandparents, you &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; know - you are the parents, after all. Most probably you will get back a happy baby that had a nice time away from home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a good trip! And don't worry too much - typically these kinds of separation are much harder on the parents than on the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2024-01-15T09:01:23.297" LastActivityDate="2024-01-15T09:01:23.297" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27207" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27187" CreationDate="2016-09-21T11:32:43.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't say I had similar problems, it wasn't as bad. But still, at some point in my life I felt the same urge to have to be able to have my own life. And especially not have to &quot;check in&quot; with my parents about every step I take. It can be hard, because you love them and don't want to hurt them neither want to loose the closeness or endanger this relationship in any way.&#xA;One thing that helped me was seeing it this way: They once in their life did the same. They started to separate more from their parents and have a life, build their own family, focus on their career, whatever it is you want to.&#xA;So I just did that. Without further notice, without making a fuzz about it. I did not tell them every detail of my life anymore. I send texts saying &quot;Sorry, can't call tonight, will be out with friends. Is tomorrow okay for you?&quot; And sometimes the answer was &quot;No, we are not home tomorrow, but wednesday should be fine. Have fun!&quot; No drama. At some point I started to just not call. Not because I wanted them to feel bad, but I felt like I don't want to have a fixed appointment for that. I called when I felt like it, and I asked them to call me when they felt like it. Which they still rarely do. &#xA;We use messengers, though. It's different than messaging with your friends but it works nicely to get over the &quot;no phone call&quot;-days. In the end, I was the one who was making a drama out of it. My parents reacted just fine. They might miss me sometimes, but they know that this is what adults do. And that I will always come running when they need me. Or when I need them ;-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make this more relevant... I grew up close to where you live. Same culture, I guess.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL;DR:&#xA;Phase it out. Not completely, not suddenly, but step by step. You will all survive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16167" LastActivityDate="2016-09-21T11:32:43.560" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27208" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-21T13:22:42.677" Score="32" ViewCount="9512" Body="&lt;p&gt;This past weekend I learned that my 15-year-old recently came out to two of her friends.  I learned this in a couple of ways:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The two of us just traveled alone for a weekend, and she let me use her iPad to video her in a sports competition.  The iPad's photo stream syncs with her phone I saw numerous screen shots she had recently taken, including one picture she downloaded off the web that says, &amp;quot;Shit, I'm gay&amp;quot;; various photos of people with rainbows painted on them; etc.  Because the iPad syncs with her phone, a couple of text messages came in and popped up on the screen about how these friends were so honored that she came out to them.  (I should be clear that when the text messages came up I turned off the syncing function because I didn't want to knowingly invade her privacy.)&lt;br /&gt;&#xA;She knows that I still have the iPad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I also needed to borrow her phone at one point and she told me the passcode, which could very well be a cryptic variant of &amp;quot;I am gay.&amp;quot; She knows I'm &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; good at puzzles, word games, etc., and I immediately suspected what the numbers corresponded to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think she may have been trying to (not so subtly) hint around to my wife and I, because a couple months ago she bought a shirt that says &amp;quot;I can't even think straight.&amp;quot;  She played dumb about the meaning, but in retrospect it was probably a test.  We didn't ace the test.  I don't remember our exact reactions; I don't think they  were overly negative, but I'm sure they were not as positive as she hoped.  I know my wife made some kind of a comment about it being OK to wear around the house but not in public.  I honestly have no recollection of any statement I made.  My wife is more conservative than I am and is a practicing Catholic.  The whole family goes to mass most weekends but I am not Catholic.  I'm also more liberal than she is on social issues, although still on the conservative side of the spectrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me be clear that nothing is going to diminish how much I love my daughter.  My concerns are (and always have been) only for her happiness and safety.  We've always been very close and I have always given her a good morning kiss on the cheek when she gets up, tell her I love her with another kiss when she leaves for school, greet her the same way when she comes home and finish the day with a goodnight kiss, saying, &amp;quot;Sweet dreams, I love you.&amp;quot;  I've built my career to work from home since before her birth so I could be around more for both of our children (we have a younger son).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to figure out if I should say anything to her and how I can best support her during a time that could very well be extremely difficult for her.  I find myself crying at times, worried for her and the difficulties that she may encounter.  I'm also trying to determine if I should tell my wife.  I am certain that she has no idea.  I hate the idea of keeping a secret from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thanks for any guidance you can give.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24501" LastEditorUserId="2693" LastEditDate="2020-09-09T09:05:35.843" LastActivityDate="2022-06-19T15:35:16.440" Title="I just learned my 15 year old daughter has come out to her friends - should I say anything to her...OR to my wife?" Tags="|teen|safety|relationships|communication|lgbtq|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27209" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27194" CreationDate="2016-09-21T14:14:15.867" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I had a similar issue with one of my kids.  She would slide the chest clip down until it was low enough on her torso to get her shoulder free, then she would climb out of her seat through the top of the straps.  I solved this by replacing the chest clip with a third party clip that included a strap that goes behind the child's neck, so they cannot slide the clip down.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The one I used is available at &lt;a href=&quot;http://escapeproof.net&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; title=&quot;escapeproof.net&quot;&gt;escapeproof.net&lt;/a&gt;, along with a cover to keep the child from pressing the release button.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2016-09-21T14:14:15.867" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27210" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11515" CreationDate="2016-09-21T16:47:20.483" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 12 years old and i am taking prenisolone. DO NOT mix it with chocolate milk or soda. you are just wasting it. what i did that was best for me was eating a lot of spicy chips and then tilting my head back and squirting the medicine in my mouth with a syringe. that worked best for me but it might not work with little kids because of the spicy chips. but anything that will kill the tastebuds, coat the mouth, or has an overpowering aftertaste. i have tried eating a popsicle and then taking it but it didnt work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24506" LastActivityDate="2016-09-21T16:47:20.483" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27211" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27204" CreationDate="2016-09-21T17:06:13.780" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you have the same problem when you try to help her, then they perhaps are too small, no matter what she says.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd be tempted to suggest that is the issue anyway, she has not yet figured out the best way to remove them, or they are slightly too small to get them off easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Indeed, I'm not sure why this is embarrassing - if it takes a bit of shuffling to get them off, why does this cause issues? It seems the sort of thing other kids wouldn't be aware of unless she tells them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In any case, try the next size up, and the problem may solve itself, or see if she can show you how she is trying to get them off, and you may be able to indicate a better technique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-09-21T17:06:13.780" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27212" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27208" CreationDate="2016-09-21T17:15:43.977" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could start by making it clear that you're fine with gay people and recognize that it's not something that people can change, any more than they can change their eye color, even if you don't specifically mention your daughter's specific situation at first.  The more she feels you will still value her and will not try to change her, the better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you think your wife can handle the same approach, you could probably mention it to her.  If there's any chance your wife will go into denial or try to argue with or try to change your daughter about it, though, it might be better to connect with your daughter on it first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="25791" LastEditDate="2022-06-17T14:15:27.580" LastActivityDate="2022-06-17T14:15:27.580" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27213" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27187" CreationDate="2016-09-21T18:29:49.717" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Get some hobbies that involve meetings, classes, and social events: &quot;I'm going to my crochet class tomorrow evening, so I won't be phoning.&quot;. &quot;I've got community theater rehearsals all this week, and performances Friday, Saturday, and Sunday evenings. Won't be home this weekend. I'll call you next Monday.&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That has two benefits. It gets your mother used to less frequent phone calls, and it gives you a chance to meet people outside work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9884" LastEditorUserId="9884" LastEditDate="2016-09-21T18:48:41.930" LastActivityDate="2016-09-21T18:48:41.930" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27214" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27208" CreationDate="2016-09-21T21:35:21.750" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry, but &quot;I'm fine with gay, but I'm concerned about how horrible her life could be&quot; clearly means that you have irrational fears about this and are NOT okay with it.  You need to come to grips with the idea that it's just how she is, and while she may take some flak from close-minded jerks, it's not that big a deal, as long as you don't turn it into one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you lie awake, crying with worry because your daughter MIGHT be gay, then you are in denial about your own feelings about it.  That might be why your daughter is only kind of hinting.  She might be very tentative about this because she is aware that you don't think it's okay and relatively normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to realize that whatever idealized vision you have for how your kids' life is going to turn out, deviation from that is not a bad or tragic thing. They will be their own individual and unique selves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to sit down and talk to her.  Tell her that you feel like she's been hinting at this, and let her know that you fully want to support her, but she'll need to be patient with you as you try to break out of preconception and stereotypes you have acquired over a lifetime.  Point out that how gays have been portrayed and their level of acceptance in society is a pretty new and rapidly changing thing, so if it seems like you're being held back by baggage, it's because most of your life you've been presented with misinformation on the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-09-21T21:35:21.750" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27215" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27208" CreationDate="2016-09-22T06:46:34.513" Score="34" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think Warren Dew offers a good answer there, but if I were in your position I'd want to let my kid immediately that I know about it, that I accept it and that it will never change my love for them (since I think this addresses her no.1 fear about sharing the information with you). Now, if you don't want to be overtly blunt, when you two are on your own you could say something like &quot;Did you know that your passcode spells 'I am gay'? It made me think of that t-shirt you've bought recently... Were you trying to tell us something?&quot;. If you say it the right way, in a friendly, fatherly tone and with a big smile, I think she'll be thrilled and relieved to finally share it with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastActivityDate="2016-09-22T06:46:34.513" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27216" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27208" CreationDate="2016-09-22T07:41:57.937" Score="28" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I find myself crying at times worried for her and the difficulties that she may encounter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's probably doing the same, worried about whether her parents will accept it or reject her. That is probably the biggest difficulty she may encounter in her whole life related to being gay (assuming you live in a Western country).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you have a strong bond with your daughter and she's trying to reach out to you. You can help her with the biggest, scariest step in her life by being open, positive and letting her know you will love her unconditionally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I'm also trying to determine if I should tell my wife. I am certain that she has no idea. I hate the idea of keeping a secret from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this time, you are not keeping a secret from her, only an unconfirmed suspicion. By telling your wife, you risk a confrontation neither you nor your daughter want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter comes out to you, it's probably a good idea to talk it over with her and follow her lead. She may not be ready yet to face an adverse reaction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, keep in mind that the situation of your wife being the only one to not know cannot last. If she finds out on her own, she may feel betrayed. So do nudge your daughter to get ready and not put it off too long.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21724" LastActivityDate="2016-09-22T07:41:57.937" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27218" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27281" CreationDate="2016-09-22T17:55:23.493" Score="6" ViewCount="3805" Body="&lt;p&gt;My question is similar to &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/16838/my-2yr-old-cries-at-daycare-during-drop-off-time&quot;&gt;a previous one&lt;/a&gt; in that my 21-month-old boy cries miserably at the door of his daycare room every morning. The difference is that the crying continues all morning—at least until mid-day nap time.  If he sleeps, sometimes the afternoon is then OK.  Once or twice he's had a miserable afternoon too. This has been going on for about two weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been going to this daycare from the age of 3 months. He was OK in the infant classroom, then, several weeks ago his initial week in the toddler room was reportedly great (at least, someone told me, &quot;as great as it ever can be when you share a class with [insert name of disruptive child who upsets everyone]&quot;). Then there was a break of nearly two weeks, during which there were also some staff changes, and when we resumed... misery.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What to do? My instinct tells me to try to minimize the drama (we try not to make a big deal about going to school and always talk about it positively) but then power through it so that he has an opportunity to learn to be less sensitive to whichever aspects bother him (the separation? the problem kid? the new teachers? ...?)  My wife has endured this up to a point, but has now started taking him home again and staying there with him when it gets really bad (a couple of days so far). I worry both about the inconsistency this presents to him and also about the message it sends that crying gets you out of things you don't like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consultation with the daycare director seemed like a good way to get more insight. We were reassured that this is probably a natural &quot;bump&quot; and a frequent occurrence and it'll work itself out. Without disagreeing with this outright (it might be right, for all I know) we tried to get more detail/advice but were rapidly treated as if we were the problem and the wagons started defensively circling as if we were complaining (which we were not) unreasonably (which we are not).  So probably nothing more constructive can come from that avenue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Help?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17773" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T14:50:10.837" Title="21-month-old crying for hours starting at the daycare door" Tags="|toddler|crying|daycare|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27221" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27218" CreationDate="2016-09-23T04:30:57.610" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Like any other parenting problem there are a lot of theories and such surrounding how to deal with those early days of daycare. Not every kid goes through this, but based on my daughter's daycare/preschool that we started her at when she was 24 months old, I would estimate the tough drop-offs to occur in well over 70% of two year old(ish) kids for about 2 weeks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now in our case the crying primarily happened right at the dropoff time, and by about a week in she was fine within a short time, but it did continue for at least a couple weeks. We also possibly approached things a &lt;em&gt;little&lt;/em&gt; differently I think, and it's very possible that the program/teachers taking care of her are just particularly skilled in distraction. Its a tough balance to strike but I think we didn't try to push off the crying as a thing being used to manipulate things (I think it's a really different thing than it appears to us at that age), but rather treated it as a valid expression of how she felt about the situation. That said, we also didn't bring her back home, and after a while it seemed that a &lt;em&gt;fairly&lt;/em&gt; quick drop-off was better, as long as we still acknowledged that she was not happy with it before we left her there, but assured that there would be lots of new and interesting experiences that day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Each morning on drop-off I would pick her up (crying) and then say hey look at all these fun things to do: &quot;so and so is painting, so and so is feeding the fish&quot;, etc.. Then I'd make sure to let her know that her mama would be there to pick her up later. We also are fortunate to have great teachers that would then pick her up themselves and walk around with her showing her all of the things that were new that day while I kind of snuck off once her attention was vaguely diverted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given all of the possible variables I couldn't tell you if this particular case is due to the people and specific program or lineup of daily projects not really speaking to your kid, or part of the drop-off process needing to be more hands on and then easing into distraction, but those are the things that seemed to work for us if I had to guess at what had the most effect when I thought she was just going to scream all day, every day for as long as we dropped her off there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24519" LastActivityDate="2016-09-23T04:30:57.610" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27222" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11644" CreationDate="2016-09-23T08:30:27.200" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As pointed out in the other answers, there are many opinions and many factors to consider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We put our daughter into daycare when she was three years old, and for her earlier would probably have been better, to get more play time with other children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal impression is that children under one year probably do not get all that much benefit from daycare, though it probably does not hurt either. Between one and two, other children start getting interesting, so daycare starts having a benefit for the child, even if the parents have time for home care. And from two or three onwards, most children really need regular time with other children, and benefit from the (relative) independence and interaction with others they experience at daycare, so daycare is advisable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our daughter, when she was two to two and a half year old, she started asking why there were no other children in the playground, or why another child had to leave - that made it clear that she needed company.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my recommendation would be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;up to one year: daycare only if required for practical reasons (such as working parents)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;up to two years: depending on development of the child&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;older than two or three: definitely, for the social aspect alone&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that in my opinion even children with lots of playground friends or older siblings profit from daycare, because of the other aspects, such as: learning to interact with adults other than the parents, learning different rules, having to get along with children they may not like so much... and just generally getting a perspective on things different from what the parents provide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note: This is about daycare in Germany, which is focused on playing and exploring, not on teaching/learning. In some countries, daycare has more of a pre-school aspect (e.g. &quot;kindergarten&quot; in the USA) - that's a different kettle of fish which I cannot speak to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-09-23T08:30:27.200" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27223" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27082" CreationDate="2016-09-23T16:24:19.380" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is very little to go on here, so one would have to make assumptions.  You seem to suspect that her smiling might be a form of disrespect.  If it is a smirk, then it probably or possibly is exactly that.  So...&lt;p&gt;&#xA;If what is going on is that your discipline of her bad behavior is limited to talking to her and trying to teach her through words only, then she may have figured out that there really are no bad consequences to her bad behavior.  If that is the case, she can stand there and laugh internally at your attempts to guide her away from behavior which you deem &quot;bad&quot;, when she knows there is no reason for her to stop doing what she wants to do, just because there is some background noise in the room.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;That may sound harsh, but that could be exactly what is behind a kid smirking at their parents' attempts to teach them only with words.  Sooner or later, your child will find out that bad behavior is deemed &quot;bad&quot; because it usually carries bad consequences.  Failure in school, social life, jobs, trouble with the law, these are the things that a kid who ignores discipline could be heading into in their later life.  It is our jobs as parents to teach them that reality by instituting bad consequences for bad behavior in their childhood, where we can control the outcome to be instructive rather than destructive.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Of course, it could be that you are already doing this, and I am off base here.  If so, ignore my answer.  But if not, put in place strong, negative consequences for bad behavior, including smirking at you when you are talking to her.  Call&#xA;her on it - very bluntly tell her what smirking communicates and demand to know what she is trying to communicate by it.  If the answer does not satisfy, then put in place those bad consequences.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;With my kids, loss of privileges, grounding, earlier bedtimes, and very rare spankings have worked wonders.  Mind you, those negatives for bad behavior happen in the context of ten times more positives, encouragement, praise and affection for bad behavior.  Those negatives also happen in the context of daily (multiple times a day) affirmation of my love and appreciation for them, constantly communicating to them how freaking awesome I think they are while also communicating that I will love them till the day I die, even if they were to turn into total douchebags, which seems, frankly, totally impossible.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Today, my kids (four of them) range in age from 11 to 19.  They are obedient, very respectful kids who do extremely well in school (straight A's) and are held up as examples by their teachers and other adults.  When we ask them to do something, they usually answer with the typical southern &quot;yes sir&quot;, and &quot;yes ma'am&quot; to my wife, but they are also very free with their expressions of affection to us.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Spend time with her, love her, communicate tons of positive affirmation to her.  But at the end of the day, also, do &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; tolerate that smirk if you even suspect that it is a sign of disrespect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2016-09-23T16:24:19.380" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27224" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27228" CreationDate="2016-09-23T21:38:51.433" Score="4" ViewCount="1991" Body="&lt;p&gt;Both my wife and I are non-religious and identify as non-believers. Our son goes to a church of england school, and today, has been sent home with a bible and has been told he is to read a passage, and then draw a picture of what he thinks about while reading the passage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While i have no objection to my son being taught &lt;em&gt;about&lt;/em&gt; religion, i &lt;strong&gt;do not&lt;/strong&gt; want him to be &lt;em&gt;taught a religion&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do i explain to a four year old that this is a set of stories that some people believe, and some do not, and there are different stories that others believe and others do not?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10014" LastActivityDate="2016-09-24T01:47:45.677" Title="How to teach a 4 year old about religion in a non-religious household" Tags="|teaching|religion|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27225" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27224" CreationDate="2016-09-24T00:39:41.327" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to the Church of Englands &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.churchofengland.org/education/church-schools-academies.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Church Schools and Academies&lt;/a&gt; web page:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Church of England schools are established primarily for the&#xA;  communities they are located in. They are inclusive and serve equally&#xA;  those who are of the Christian faith, those of other faiths and those&#xA;  with no faith.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have not already done so, you should explain your views to your son's teachers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think the message you want to convey to your son is a bit too abstract for his age. You could show him instead. Get age-appropriate books and other materials for a few current and historical religions. Show him what four year old children are being taught in other cultures.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9884" LastActivityDate="2016-09-24T00:39:41.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27226" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27224" CreationDate="2016-09-24T00:57:00.343" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The real world sometimes stinks. Once you send a child off to school you lose a significant amount of control over the child's life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have two problems:&#xA;(1) What the school wants to teach about religion.&#xA;(2) What you want your son to believe about religion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For problem (1) you need to find out what the school guidelines are and be sure that the teacher isn't being overly enthusiast with teaching religion. If the school condones this teaching then you're stuck. If the issue is that critical, then you might have to move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do with the school needs to be done without the involvement, or knowledge, of your son. You don't want to turn him into the &quot;weird one.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Frankly since the child came home with a bible I'd guess that the school is on board. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For problem (2), I'd start with a discussion about magic. Read a story about magic or watch a movie about magic and start the discussion there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24298" LastActivityDate="2016-09-24T00:57:00.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27227" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27224" CreationDate="2016-09-24T01:37:15.113" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are both nonreligious; I've been atheist for 50 years.  When God comes up at school, we've had pretty good luck just explaining that, as you say, this is a set of stories that some people believe, and some don't.  My wife explicitly adds that God does not actually exist, while I just mention that I'm one of the people that doesn't believe in him and thinks Jesus was an ordinary human.  We've generally started these explanations when our kids were 4 or 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thus far, we've had no problems.  Granted our kids don't go to a religious school, though there's mention of God in our pledge of allegiance.  I was in your kid's position half a century ago, and my parents ended up taking me out of the school when I complained about how much they talked about God in school, but that was a Catholic school rather than an Anglican school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Incidentally, I don't see a problem with kids reading from the bible.  There are lots of good stories in there, whether or not they're true, and even nonreligious scholars consider the bible a useful historical source.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-24T01:37:15.113" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27228" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27224" CreationDate="2016-09-24T01:47:45.677" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The last sentence sounds like a perfectly appropriate explanation to me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do some teaching at home. Ancient Egypt had a fascinating religion, as did Mesopotamia. The Greek myths are fun to read to a child (I started reading them to my kids at about that age). Explain that at one time people actually believed these stories, but today they are regarded as just that: stories. Norse mythology is fun as well. (Do Norwegians believe them today? I doubt it.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Bible is a collection of very old books gathered into one volume; each book tells a story. It is also respected by many today as representing the truth, as is the Quran/Koran by some, and the Tanakh by others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And so it goes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find out the position of the school. If they respect all faiths, ask them if they respect atheism as well. If not, just teach him at home. At his age, alienating his teacher(s) will not get you a very desirable result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that actions speak louder than words. If you want to teach him to respect the right of all people to hold beliefs that differ from yours, speak to and about his teachers with respect and kindness. That will be a great gift to your child as he grows into an adult who might end up with beliefs differing from yours as well. ;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-09-24T01:47:45.677" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27230" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-24T02:45:53.950" Score="4" ViewCount="360" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5 year old adopted brother who is very hyper. His first nursery school refused to accept him into his classes anymore because of this, which angered our family and we had to transfer him to a special education school. He continued nursery there but not without any issues, he continues to be very hyper and inattentive but at least there’s only 6 of them in his classroom and their class is more about play learning that time. Because of our financial situation we transferred him again to a public school this year (kindergarten), even if we didn’t want to. His hyperactivity toned down a bit, but still he finds it difficult to concentrate in his class and keeps pestering his classmates and teachers. He can’t write by himself, and still can’t read. Which really worries me as his older sister. My mom told me that the teacher advised that if my brother still can’t learn he might have to repeat the grade next school year. I know my brother isn’t dumb because he can speak well and has even learned to speak decent english (not our first language), because he watches tv a lot. He can count, knows his ABCs and lots more stuff. I think he’s got a pretty good memory. He’s just wary of the learning process I think, sometimes he tells me it’s too tiring to study. My mother isn’t very attentive to him about his education coz she says it’s already a hassle for her (she’s already 55). The teacher is the same way coz she’s got about 20 students in her class and she’s not specialized with kids like my bro. I wanted to teach my brother myself but I work 6 days and more than 8 hours a week. I can only see him in nights and he’s already asleep that time. I was just wondering if my brother’s situation will still improve. I know he’s not that hyper now but I’m only concerned with his education. I really could use some advice. Thank you in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S.&#xA;I'm very bad with english, but I will try my best to respond to your answers and inquiries. Thank you...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24522" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-09-25T15:11:34.600" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T05:12:44.673" Title="How to control and raise a hyperactive brother?" Tags="|adhd|hyperactiveness|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27232" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27235" CreationDate="2016-09-24T15:51:08.133" Score="3" ViewCount="270" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 2 years and 4 months old. He is very smart. Lately, he began biting his nails, so his nails are always short. I do not know whether he swallows the cut nails or not, but I rarely see the remainings. Should I try to stop him or not? If yes, how to do that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24525" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-13T13:18:21.503" LastActivityDate="2018-11-13T13:18:21.503" Title="How to make my toddler stop biting his nails if at all?" Tags="|toddler|discipline|habits|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27233" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-24T16:08:08.127" Score="4" ViewCount="551" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 18-year-old son has just entered college as a freshman. He has a workstudy as part of his scholarship and he has been hesitant following up on job leads.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond baby sitting a few kids in our neighborhood, he hasn't really worked most of his life. He shows interest, but is often hesitant to follow leads.  He is an introvert, and finds it difficult to &quot;push&quot; for things. I have been teaching him that a &quot;drive&quot; is essential, and model my own life as an example, but it has not worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, I have told him to get a job on campus and use it to buy his textbooks and other needs (clothes, etc.) while in college. This is the least he can do. But so far, he hasn't secured any, and all excuses (office closed, waiting for a buddy to go with him, busy with classes) so far seem flimsy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is what I plan to do. I will not buy his textbooks during the upcoming winter term. If he doesn't get a job within the next couple of weeks, he sure will be thrown out of his classes when classes resume in January, and he will have to drop out and look for a job to enable him purchase his books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this a realistic approach, even if it has a potential of compromising his access to education? I will appreciate any other suggestions to get him to look for a job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24524" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-08T12:35:45.813" LastActivityDate="2019-08-08T12:35:45.813" Title="How to make my 18-year-old son get a job while in college?" Tags="|teen|motivation|independence|jobs|university|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27234" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-25T05:39:26.590" Score="3" ViewCount="1055" Body="&lt;p&gt;My baby has completed two months and I feed him both breast milk and formula. He used to poop at least once every day or even after every feed before. But this suddenly stopped and he hasn't pooped for 4 days. He shows signs of discomfort after the feed, but otherwise he is fine. Still what shall I do to help him poop?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24526" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-11T12:57:42.633" LastActivityDate="2019-06-11T12:57:42.633" Title="How to help my 2-month-old, who hasn't pooped for 4 days, to poop?" Tags="|newborn|elimination|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ClosedDate="2019-06-13T19:31:11.537" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27235" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27232" CreationDate="2016-09-25T07:07:47.533" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Pros:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;While biting his nails, there may be some dust, germs, bacteria, virus, etc. It is scary if you see what is under or inside his nails. Science tells, nothing to worry about while biting it, though some portions of those stuff is going inside his stomach. It can cause few health problems initially like diarrhoea, dysentery etc. Still, it is helpful for his later life as it produces antibodies which prevents him in future. Once antibodies are produced it becomes a safeguard for that reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cons:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Problem or worrying matter is if it becomes his regular habit. Changing habit takes time. I heard some of my friends tell that their child even eats nails of the foot. If it becomes a bad habit, it needs to change. For your child you can try to divert him from doing this or tell some story where the end of the story is diseases caused by eating/biting nails.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is if it is not in severe stage that it become bad habit you can just warn him not to do so. Sometimes after certain age child leave it. On the other hand if he is serious about nail biting try to divert him. When he starts it in front of you, immediately say something else or start some game with him or say, &quot;Let's run from this room to that room. Let's play...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24528" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-05-08T11:59:04.103" LastActivityDate="2017-05-08T11:59:04.103" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27237" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27234" CreationDate="2016-09-25T08:17:11.720" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be normal for breastfed babies not to poop for a few days at a time after the first few weeks of their lives. Formula fed babies usually should poop each day. This is because babies can digest breast milk very efficiently. I don't know what proportion breastmilk/formula you are giving but if it's more breastmilk than formula, this may be perfectly normal and you don't need to do anything.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/nappies.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/nappies.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Newborn babies who are breastfed may poo at each feed in the early weeks, then, after about six weeks, not have a poo for several days. Formula-fed babies may poo up to five times a day when newborn, but after a few months this can go down to once a day.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/whats-your-babys-nappy&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/whats-your-babys-nappy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;After the first week: babies continue to wee and poo several times each day for the first few weeks. After that time, some (not all) babies poo much less often. Breastfed babies may go many days without producing any poo at all – that’s normal, too. As long as your baby is growing well, and the poo he produces is soft, you don’t need to be worried. Ask your health visitor about this, if you need to.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are still worried then definitely check with your doctor before administering any home remedies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11261" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T08:17:11.720" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27238" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27240" CreationDate="2016-09-25T08:45:52.527" Score="-2" ViewCount="312" Body="&lt;p&gt;What if a kid wanted to dedicate a portion of a room of an apartment to installing Judo-like padding, and perhaps even boxing bags, to go to and take out the stress of when parents shouted at them? What if when they did this parents shouted at them even more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hate my parents. They stress me out, and do not accept my need to have a stress relief space within the house, nor do they accept pouncing or kicking, but then again, if I were not blind they could probably not accept reading either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20162" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-09-25T15:09:20.190" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T15:09:20.190" Title="Parents that do not allow outlets for stress" Tags="|violence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27239" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27233" CreationDate="2016-09-25T09:04:26.940" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Discussion:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Discussion provides excellent result all the time. As a parent you can frankly discuss with him about his future, self establishment, being extrovert, necessity of odd jobs etc. If you able to convince him with real life example it will be excellent. True fact is that, it does not work all the time. All depends of how much you can create an impression on his thinking and mind. If he impresses definitely he will follow, otherwise not. Introvert type also affects of his way of thinking, he might think he has to deal with many people while doing job. So, first try to fix with a deep discussion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Tactics:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;No problem on being tactful for you child. But needs to be very careful and analyse his mind what would be side effect or what would be his reaction on your decision. If you think there is a great chance to misunderstood you than really it is a dangerous way to go. Child of this age usually become arrogant and misunderstood on reaction of this type of actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My Suggestion:&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;You can give him ultimatum if discussion does not work. Give him time to cope up or adjust or decide for one semester and then apply your tactics. It would be best if you can convince him with the example of successful icons or his friends or someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24528" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T09:04:26.940" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27240" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27238" CreationDate="2016-09-25T09:38:30.860" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, it seems you are very angry at your parents. What usually happens child insists to do something and tell his parents about the demand. He does not tries to convince parents in an constructive way. Rather he tries to insist. On the other hand some parents carry a habit of rejecting child's demand as soon as hearing. Both is not a good practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your parents has a long age gaps with you and they like to think in their own ways. Try to convince them in a constructive way, you can show them youtube video or slide show or documentary which supports or emphasis on your demand and then try to tell them in a decent voice. Often parents reject without thinking the good sides of it. They always thought the bad sides or concentrate on risk zone only. Try to place yourself on their position and think and find out why they not allowing you. If you can figure out, try to fix those and approach again in a better way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Anger is the root cause of all problems AND&#xA;Softness/love/patience is the key of success&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note: I am not telling that you approached in an indecent way. I am telling the average case of young child :P&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24528" LastEditorUserId="24528" LastEditDate="2016-09-25T09:43:41.983" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T09:43:41.983" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27241" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8741" CreationDate="2016-09-25T10:55:13.377" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have two children with autism and spent years in autism, LD, you name it special education classrooms as a parent volunteer.  I also have one not autistic child.  You son may need need a smaller learning environment, where his positive behaviors are reinforced to lessen his aggression.  Kids can be cruel.  If the environment isn't helping your child to eventually transition to adulthood-- and I mean to be as independent without us parents hovering--change schools.  You may have to change states.  i recommend California, Vermont, New York.  Be honest about your child, that can be hard, I know.  But once you are, accept, embrace and have a plan, you will surprise yourself.  One more thing, check to see if your child can get on a bus or be transported to school--that would be safer.  No one should endure being picked on going to and from school.  What ever happened to the safety patrol?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24529" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T10:55:13.377" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27242" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-25T15:35:44.167" Score="7" ViewCount="8542" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am having trouble breastfeeding my fourth baby. I have successfully breastfed two of my other three kids, so I am confident that my technique is not to blame. To confirm this I saw a lactation counselor who told me that my baby has a &quot;bubble palate&quot; in addition to a possible submucosal tongue tie and a lip tie. She said that an ENT would be able to give me an &quot;official&quot; diagnosis, so I will make an appointment ASAP.  In the meantime, she gave me some direction as to how cope until she can be treated, but, she also said that &quot;no one does anything about a tongue tie like that, but perhaps you can find someone who will.&quot; She said nothing about the &quot;bubble palate&quot; other than it might get better when the lip tie is fixed, and/or when the baby gets bigger (she's three weeks old right now.) For now, my baby is getting enough to eat, her weight gain is fair (within normal, if a bit slow compared to my other children), and my supply is holding steady, but, the LC did say that by the time she's a month old, my baby might not be able to get enough and my supply will most likely suffer. This breaks my heart-I can't bear the thought that my baby might go hungry and the solution will be to quit bf'ing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have been looking for more info about &quot;bubble palate&quot; and have found nothing of any substance or credibility, just a bunch of &quot;stay strong, you can get thru this&quot; and &quot;just give baby a bottle&quot; on chat forums. I found one pdf of a paper written by a dentist that had pictures of cadavers with bubble palate but no info such as a medical/scientific name for the condition, how to treat it, long term effects, or methods of dealing with the feeding difficulties associated with it. I can find so much about cleft palates/lips, and tongue/lip ties, but nothing about this other defect.  I am at this point fairly well informed about the lip/tongue tie problem, and will pursue correcting it, but there's still a big &quot;what if&quot; in my mind regarding the palate: &quot;what if fixing those two &lt;em&gt;isn't&lt;/em&gt; enough?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, to sum up my actual questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is &quot;bubble palate&quot;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Can it be &quot;cured&quot;, resolved, corrected, or outgrown?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What are some strategies to overcome feeding issues if there's nothing that can be done?&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;are there any other effects besides the trouble with breastfeeding (speech, solid foods, oral hygiene, tooth alignment, etc)?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, related question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What is the likelihood that correcting the lip (and possibly tongue) tie will be enough to overcome the difficulty we're having- making the &quot;bubble palate&quot; a non-issue?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Besides research/scientific info, I'd certainly be interested in other parents' experiences/strategies. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We need help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some additional info:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Baby was born full term, healthy, vaginal delivery w/o drugs/intervention. No complications during labor, delivery, or pregnancy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No family history of defects.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The &quot;bubble&quot; is located on the hard palate behind her gums, and feels like a baby pea-sized indentation when I let her suck on my finger.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My pediatrician sort of dismissed my concerns, since, at our appointment to discuss all this he gave her a bottle and she took it. She dribbled milk out of the side of her mouth like she does at the breast, so she's not getting good suction on an artificial nipple either. For this reason (and, bc breastfeeding should not so easily be given up on) I don't accept his &quot;solution&quot; which is to just bottle feed her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this borders on asking for medical advice, but I'm hoping someone has more info than my dr and the LC (who is a nurse) provided.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not so pro-breastfeeding that I'll pursue it to the detriment of my child, but I do think it's worth fighting for. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastActivityDate="2022-07-13T08:41:39.347" Title="Is breastfeeding success possible when baby has &quot;bubble palate&quot;?" Tags="|newborn|breastfeeding|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27243" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-25T17:19:09.127" Score="4" ViewCount="203" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three-year-old wants whatever my five-year-old is playing with. He will throw a tantrum if he does not get it, and we find ourselves relying on his older sister to diffuse the situation by &quot;being a big girl&quot; and letting him have what he wants. SHE HAS BEEN TREMENDOUS by sharing, but I hate to have to always place that burden on her. Also, I don't think he is learning a good lesson by getting what he wants.&#xA;I try to wait out his tantrums but then my patience is so minimal with him these I end up yelling at him or having big sis give him what he wants. Anyone have any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24530" LastEditorUserId="13162" LastEditDate="2016-09-25T21:26:52.173" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T19:11:50.090" Title="My three year old wants everything my five year old is playing with" Tags="|siblings|tantrums|sharing|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27244" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27243" CreationDate="2016-09-25T17:25:03.097" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest getting him more toys of his own - toys that his sister would also be interested in, so she will want to borrow them from time to time.  Then make it clear that lending toys is voluntary - don't force either child to do it - and point out that if he wants to borrow his sister's toys, he needs to lend his toys to her sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you may want to find a place where you can put him in timeout so you can withstand a tantrum without yelling at him.  Giving in to tantrums just encourages them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-09-26T17:17:08.733" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T17:17:08.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27245" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27234" CreationDate="2016-09-25T19:12:32.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This what worked for us some times:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lay your child in their back, grab their feet, and move their legs in a 'bicycling' motion. Bring their legs up and in then stretch them out. Repeat. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We called it the &quot;Poop Olympics.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24014" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T19:12:32.257" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27246" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27242" CreationDate="2016-09-25T21:11:05.687" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Bubble palate&quot; seems to be a form of &quot;high arched palate&quot; on which you may be able to find more information.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The consensus on the La Leche League forums seems to be that, if you stick with it, the breastfeeding problems will gradually abate as the baby grows.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?108829-Bubble-Palate&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?108829-Bubble-Palate&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems the problem makes a proper latch difficult, and as the baby grows and the mouth gets bigger, it becomes easier.  Given all the benefits of breast feeding, I would stick with it unless weight gain becomes poor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T21:11:05.687" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27247" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="25108" CreationDate="2016-09-25T21:20:49.900" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;While there isn't much explicit prejudice against left handers in the U.S., there are minor day to day advantages to being right handed.  Often doors, tools, and other aspects of everyday life are by default designed for right handed people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are worried about it, you can affect the developing handedness of a child up at least up to age 2 or 3.  Early on, it only takes a small amount of gentle encouragement to get a toddler to prefer to use the right hand by default.  Asking them to use the spoon in their right hand at the dinner table is an easy way to start.  We did this when a couple of our kids started out trying to use tools with their left hands, and it has not caused any problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later when handedness is more well established, it may not be such a good idea to try to change it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T21:20:49.900" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27248" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-25T21:44:50.630" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Bread sticks hardly ever go off and kids love too munch on them although they crumble and go on the car interior, flapjack in a sealed container sugary and a bit sticky but will a bait an appetite, banana chips and apple rings are great for teething, homemade oaty biscuits and those packets of mini salamis x&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24531" LastActivityDate="2016-09-25T21:44:50.630" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27249" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27230" CreationDate="2016-09-26T01:48:16.240" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't think you want to &quot;control&quot; your hyperactive brother so much as help him harness or re-direct his extra energy into other behaviors. When you start from the premise that something is wrong with him, you don't see what's right with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In an earlier time, people like him would grow up to be leading men of their town, always up, always doing. The trouble isn't that he's broken, but mismatched to the tasks we give children. As much as you can, alter the tasks to match the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I teach 12 year-old children, and when I have a child who simply can't sit, I bring out a lectern and he stands at it and works. When I need something from the office, he goes to get it. Sometimes I send him for things I don't need, just so he can move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Everyone needs to agree on what you're actually expecting your brother to do. Is it learn to read, or is it sit still? If it's learn to read, stop making him concentrate on sitting still. Try things that allow him to move. Maybe hook up a camera to your TV and point it at books so he can stand and fidget while he reads to you. In the end, you might consider medication, but never as a first choice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T01:48:16.240" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27250" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27230" CreationDate="2016-09-26T05:12:44.673" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your brother needs extra care and attention in home and in school. Some precaution in food habit may help. He should avoid or take less these foods. These food cause being hyper:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1/&lt;/strong&gt; Chemical additives/preservatives such as BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene) and BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole), which are often used to keep the oil in a product from going bad and can be found in processed food items such as potato chips, chewing gum, dry cake mixes, cereal, butter, and instant mashed potatoes&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2/&lt;/strong&gt; Milk and eggs&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3/&lt;/strong&gt; Chocolate&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4/&lt;/strong&gt; Foods containing salicylates, including berries, chili powder, apples and cider, grapes, oranges, peaches, plums, prunes, and tomatoes (salicylates are chemicals occurring naturally in plants and are the major ingredient in many pain medications)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5/&lt;/strong&gt; Extra sugar&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Doctor or nutritionist can provide you a good list or chart of foods which he should take and he should avoid or take lesser)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specialized school &amp;amp; care is required. Better to consult with an specialized doctor in your country. There are also few tips you will find over internet to improve his situation and improve is attentiveness.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24528" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T05:12:44.673" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27253" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27254" CreationDate="2016-09-26T12:29:34.183" Score="2" ViewCount="218" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see a similar question &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/4397/how-do-you-get-a-child-to-eat&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, but the circumstances are somewhat different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter is very nearly two years old, and has a really healthy appetite.  However, when sitting at the table at mealtimes, she will only feed herself for (up to about) five minutes.  After that, the bowl is pushed away and she wants to play.  She will not eat anything by herself from that point, and our attempts (e.g. &lt;em&gt;&quot;aeroplane spoonful&quot;&lt;/em&gt;) usually result in a tantrum.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If we allow her to be &quot;entertained&quot; at the table (e.g. drawing/playing with a small toy, etc.), she continues to eat well and 99% of the time finishes her meal.  However, this means mum or dad are having to feed her while she plays at the table.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last year she was very ill, and dropped from an average weight to the lowest centile (of which she has never fully recovered).  Therefore we are resistant to the &lt;em&gt;&quot;just let them graze&quot;&lt;/em&gt; approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things are getting awkward, as it looks like bad manners when we're out.  Can anyone please share any similar experiences, and how these were overcome?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11544" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T13:11:01.817" Title="23 month old child won't eat unless entertained" Tags="|eating|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27254" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27253" CreationDate="2016-09-26T13:11:01.817" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think this is a very common issues most of the parents face now a days. My child is 3+ and she still does the same. Usually parents make their child habituated from very early age for their convenience. They want the child always to finish full dish and to accelerate eating process they show tv, advertise, music, youtube and other sort of stuffs. Now after certain age, parents feel bored and annoyed when the child never finishes without these entertainments. Ideal practice is screening time, playing time, feeding time, sleeping time etc. should be separated and non overlapping with one another. Due to bad practice of parents child become used to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if this is the problem, and you habituated your child, now it should not change overnights. Gradually and slowly we should separate his/her times. When watching rhymes then no food. When eating then nothing else...try this practice and hope it will benefit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24528" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T13:11:01.817" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27255" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-26T15:50:25.127" Score="3" ViewCount="129" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm interested in suggestions for a decent language learning app suitable for a toddler (almost 3 years old) that is not dumbed down with cartoon animations or so advanced that it deals with text. Basically something that teaches new language vocabulary through images/sounds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My situation: my english speaking daughter is nearly three years old. She understands a decent number of Spanish words (animals, colors, people, body parts, etc) and I'd like to help practice this more with her. We tried DuoLingo for a few minutes but once it gets into matching words (and sentence structure) rather than pictures, she immediately loses interest as one might expect. We also tried a Rosetta Stone app intended for kids, but it was 90% cartoon animations and felt more like watching a bad tv show. I tried downloading a few more but they were riddled with intrusive ads.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I am looking for something that simply shows picture options, pronounces the word/sentence and lets the user pick the correct one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any recommendations? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4853" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T16:34:06.693" Title="Language learning app for a toddler" Tags="|language-development|learning|language|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2019-04-02T08:29:14.803" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27256" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27233" CreationDate="2016-09-26T16:32:42.097" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;My advice would be not to withhold the necessaries (like textbooks).  If your goal is for him to get an education, you are shooting yourself in the foot by causing him to fail in college.  Paying for everything he needs for college sends the message that &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; is what is important.  If you just want him to &quot;work&quot;, regardless of what he is working at, he doesn't need to go to college for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Give it some time, and give him nothing beyond the essentials and I'm guessing after a few months of watching his friends ordering pizza and going to movies and dances and dating and other fun stuff, but not being able to afford them himself, he'll go to work.  Up til now he has (I assume) lived at home and had access to your TV and been taken out to movies and to restaurants.  Everything is very new and exciting at college, and he's not missing the extras yet, but if he's a normal young adult, he will.  Peer pressure will do your work for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even if he doesn't, the most important thing is his education.  As long as he's getting decent grades, the rest will come in time.  College is the place where he will find his passion, hopefully in an area that will make him enough money to support himself.  It took me about a year to make the transition from the mindset where I was being &quot;taken care of&quot; by my parents to the realization that I needed to be responsible for myself.  Give him that much time, and see what happens.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T16:32:42.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27257" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27255" CreationDate="2016-09-26T16:34:06.693" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Linguists believe that kids require interaction to learn languages. Here's an interesting article about it: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.linguisticsociety.org/resource/faq-how-do-we-learn-language&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.linguisticsociety.org/resource/faq-how-do-we-learn-language&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first part is the most interesting for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Although parents or other caretakers don't teach their children to&#xA;  speak, they do perform an important role by talking to their children.&#xA;  Children who are never spoken to will not acquire language. And the&#xA;  language must be used for interaction with the child; for example, a&#xA;  child who regularly hears language on the TV or radio but nowhere else&#xA;  will not learn to talk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;  &#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Children acquire language through interaction - not only with their&#xA;  parents and other adults, but also with other children. All normal&#xA;  children who grow up in normal households, surrounded by conversation,&#xA;  will acquire the language that is being used around them. And it is&#xA;  just as easy for a child to acquire two or more languages at the same&#xA;  time, as long as they are regularly interacting with speakers of those&#xA;  languages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think any app or software can really provide that interaction. Kids don't learn a language like adults try to do it, with learning vocabulary and grammatical structures. There are kids who can learn a language that way, but they are highly gifted, and if your kid does not belong to that 2% of population, showing pictures with assigned words will not have the results you hope for. Actually interacting in Spanish with your kid will be much more effective, in less time spent on &quot;learning&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife speaks Catalan with our 3-years old in everyday life, there are some words he only knows in Catalan. When I grew up, I only knew &quot;pollo&quot; and &quot;basura&quot; before learning the German words for it (I'm a German native speaker) because my mom talked Spanish with us kids quite regularly. It works, but it requires direct interaction with the kids. Even a simple memory game helps, but only if someone plays it with the kid and uses the names in the foreign language. 10 minutes of playing memory is better than the kid watching the cards floating by one by one while being told what the animal/thing is called for an hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7513" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T16:34:06.693" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27259" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27243" CreationDate="2016-09-26T19:11:50.090" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I suggest setting your foot down and keeping it down.  You are teaching him that he can get what he wants if he just throws enough tantrums to wear down your patience.  For the next six months, purpose that if he even begins to throw a tantrum, there is no way in the world he is going to get what he wants, and will probably instead be disciplined.  The next time he throws a tantrum, have some negative consequences.  Not only does he &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; get his sister's toy, he also get something else taken away, or he gets grounded to his room.  This is getting worse only because you gave into it.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;And this is being &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; unfair to your five year old daughter.  What is being communicated to her is that her interests are not as important as her brother's because she does not throw tantrums.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;You are in fact reinforcing bad behavior.  Stop it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T19:11:50.090" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27260" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27233" CreationDate="2016-09-26T21:15:50.347" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;What does he express an interest in? Certainly people can be interested in many things without academics being one of them. It's possible he just doesn't see higher academics as vital to the process of pursuing what he really wants to do in life, and all the pressure to be what others expect is working inversely toward his goals.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A job during college may not be all that people assume it should be. One may say it builds the work mentality, teaches responsibility, or whatever, but I disagree. In general I disagree with the execution more than the principal. Income may be necessary, but a job isn't always the best route to go down, especially if you're just looking for general supplement for basic needs and not like fully supporting a family or something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To tie things up a bit, I supplement income quite a bit by making things and selling things on ebay. That's just one way and the solution depends heavily on his interests, skills, etc. My sticker cutter was only like $200 and it generates about $800 a month from about an hour or so a day in actual work. Compare that to whatever a part time job pays, demands, and distracts from school work, even as simple as the time it takes to travel to and from. Plus, it introduces the idea that working for yourself may be more appealing and effective than the route of standard employment. It may sway him to take an interest in the entrepreneurial courses available in most colleges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Point is that following one's interests can achieve the same goal, inspire him, and generate income by using skills he may already have. He just needs the encouragement and support to get started. It all probably starts with asking him what he wants to do, whether or not his goals align with your expectations. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-09-26T21:15:50.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27261" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-27T01:23:36.777" Score="4" ViewCount="327" Body="&lt;p&gt;We moved a few weeks ago and this means we are all still working to put things away and find places for everything. My daughter has ADD symptoms, particularly being easily distracted. (She has not yet been formally diagnosed- we are in the process.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that getting more organized helps her. In our old place, she had an &quot;art corner&quot; in her room, and space for various creations / inventions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am struggling with positive ways to help her organize her new room. She will start, but get distracted by finding something she hasn't seen in a while, read a book, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big thing is that I don't want to enforce an organization scheme on her. I think she's old enough and incredibly smart and independent. Ideally, she'd come up with an organization plan herself, but that just hasn't worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how do I balance having her clean and organize her room (which fits her independence) with helping her get it done (to minimize distraction)?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9826" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T20:19:16.997" Title="How to help my 7 year old daughter with ADD organize her room?" Tags="|primary-schooler|adhd|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27262" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26451" CreationDate="2016-09-27T01:47:53.893" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't thing passifiers cause nipple confusion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our 1st is 1yr old now. We weren't planning on using passies, but from the minute our son was born, he was a &quot;sucker&quot; as our midwife called him. He couldn't be soothed unless he was sucking on something: breast, a finger, and by necessity, a passy. So, we caved. I also had to go back to work after only 6 weeks, and my husband stayed home. I pumped, and my son was fed half from breast and half from bottle, by my husband. We have had absolutely no problem w/ &quot;confusion&quot;, and it's been a year now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24540" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-09-27T17:15:21.317" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T17:15:21.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27263" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27261" CreationDate="2016-09-27T01:51:04.987" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I had a disagreement on my daughters' rooms. She's very much into neat and orderly. My daughters and I, not so much. After many discussions, I managed to convince her that there were better uses for her limited time with them than arguing about where the clothing went.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can get the dirty clothing in the hamper and keep food from rotting in her room, does the rest of it matter that much? Aren't there things that matter much, much more?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When she grows up and has a place she's responsible for, she'll learn how to keep it clean enough. My eldest manages to keep her apartment quite nice, though you'd never have expected that of her in her youth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T01:51:04.987" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27264" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24650" CreationDate="2016-09-27T01:58:02.620" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure the flanges (cones) are the right size for your nipples. Every brand has multiple sizes. Also, a hands free bra is necessary. These can be bought new, at resale shops, or on ebay if cost is a factor. I appreciate that you have to go back to work already, as I did. Financially, I had to go back, since this country does not support working mothers/families as it should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24540" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T01:58:02.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27265" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24898" CreationDate="2016-09-27T02:08:09.383" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, use the rule of 6. Breastmilk can be left out at room temp for up to 6hrs (normal room temp, not 85 degree summer heat w/ no AC), 6 days in the fridge, and 6 months in the freezer. The only time pasteurization of breast milk is recommended is when using donor milk. If you just left your own milk out too long, it just needs to be thrown away. Pasteurization will not save spoiled milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24540" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T02:08:09.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27266" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24555" CreationDate="2016-09-27T02:12:35.797" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Long story short...don't wake a sleeping baby. At 8 months, you do not need to feed at night. Babies this age are transitioning to &quot;breakfast mode&quot; as I call it. If they don't fuss at night, they're not needing it, and will be ready for breakfast when they do wake.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24540" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T02:12:35.797" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27268" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27218" CreationDate="2016-09-27T05:27:33.227" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is one problem every parent goes through at some point in time. 21 month year, according to me is too small to adapt to the environment. You have said he was normal in the beginning. May be he is growing up from being a baby and he gets to know things. You have also mentioned staff change before all these started. That could be the reason behind it as well. U have also mentioned the daycare authority being non cooperative. If he is a talkative boy, talk to him out, cajole him out the reasons for this. See for sometime If it gets any normal. Even for a couple of months. If not I would positively suggest you to change to a new daycare if that is feasible and possible. Because the mental and physical health of the child is almost important. And we should not take chances with it . Meanwhile in some time he might become normal, which might be well and good and most expected. I have experienced this issue and I know how depressing it is. Please think from the kid's perspective. He is too little to even express his thoughts. Assure and give him all the support and love to him and make him understand the same. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24542" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T05:27:33.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27269" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27199" CreationDate="2016-09-27T05:36:28.360" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's natural for the age to do peculiar things like the ones mentioned. And he seems to be a curious boy which is indeed good and a positive behavior. If you can, please do acquiesce his demands. If not able to do so, try to divert him. You know him very well and the things he is attracted to. Try to take him out for a walk. Play some cartoons on TV. But altogether don't stop attending to his demands. It will increase the tantrums. &#xA;I assure you that kids behavior change day by day and I know it as a fact. Rest assured he is going to come out of this behavior in no time.&#xA;Having said that, please be prepared for something new the next time. Happy parenting!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24542" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T05:36:28.360" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27270" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2016-09-27T08:44:38.873" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As well as the answers that talk about how to solve the ongoing problem, the way to solve the problem at the moment it occurs is: Ignore it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember the morning my small toddler son came into the kitchen and started delightedly saying &quot;Damn it!  Damn it!  Damn it!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't react at all.  I ignored him, just as I'd do if he babbled nonsense.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He soon completely forgot the phrase; it never became part of his permanent vocabulary.  (At least not so far, and he's twelve now.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Small children use language for interaction.  Successful interaction reinforces words; failed interaction weakens them.  If certain words completely fail at producing any interaction with others, they'll be dropped quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2060" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T08:44:38.873" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27271" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19828" CreationDate="2016-09-27T11:07:55.437" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;When children are reluctant to practice they should be reminded of the consequences that could arise from not practicing. But if they have enough confidence and are ready to pursue dancing on their own, you shouldn’t need to force them to do it. Let them encourage themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24543" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T11:07:55.437" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27273" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27208" CreationDate="2016-09-27T19:28:19.870" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think your daughter is essentially coming out to you already.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has this big of a secret, and didn't want you to know, she would not have loaned you her iPad, or at least would have made sure that any &quot;incriminating&quot; evidence was secured.&#xA;She would not leave photos and text messages available for you to be able to see unless she &lt;em&gt;wanted&lt;/em&gt; you to see them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She probably feels too nervous or awkward just to sit you down and say, &quot;I'm gay&quot;, so she's trying to find ways for you to figure it out on your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think she's waiting for you to bring up the photos and text messages, so that you can initiate the conversation instead of her bringing it up.  That probably feels easier to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a straight-up discussion feels too difficult or confrontational, here are a couple of other ways I could see you broaching the subject with your daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have a father-daughter movie night with her, and watch a movie featuring a gay protagonist, especially one who is coming out to their family.  Comment about how hard that must be, and assure her that if she were ever (&quot;hypothetically&quot;) in that predicament, you would hope that she wouldn't be hesitant to come out to you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Create a fictional scenario about a colleague, friend, cousin, or someone else (that she wouldn't know), who recently came out to you.  Comment about how nervous they were to tell you, but that for you it was no big deal, and about how your acceptance of them has nothing to do with their orientation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These scenarios provide a way to assure her of your love and acceptance for her and that you don't see sexual orientation as something that should divide any relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can then see if she decides to bring up the subject on her own, or start asking somewhat more pointed questions and mentioning the things you saw on her iPad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest talking to her about it first, and then strongly encouraging her to discuss it with her mother as well.  If you think her mother will react negatively, you can offer to be with her when she brings it up.  I think it's important for it to come firsthand from her, though, rather than you telling your wife secondhand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT: Further thoughts regarding your own self-care&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, it sounds like while you're prepared to love and accept your daughter, this is still somewhat of a shock to you and not what you expected.  I would encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to and explore your own feelings around your daughter's coming out, be that a good friend, a religious leader, or a counsellor.  Ideally, find someone who doesn't know your daughter, and who will be able just to listen and to help you process your own thoughts and feelings without offering opinions or suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I have friends who have had a very similar experience with their daughter, and they were surprised to find out how many difficult and conflicting emotions it brought up in them, despite them being fully supportive of their daughter.)  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When something changes that significantly for you, it's a lot to handle, regardless of your thoughts, feelings and opinions on the matter.  I know that there are several organizations that specifically offer counselling and discussion groups for parents in your situation, when they need help processing their thoughts and feelings surrounding their children's coming out.  (I don't know the names of any of them, but I can find out for you if you're interested.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastEditorUserId="17176" LastEditDate="2018-07-13T03:34:02.497" LastActivityDate="2018-07-13T03:34:02.497" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27274" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27261" CreationDate="2016-09-27T20:19:16.997" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on experience with two adults with diagnosed ADD/ADHD, if your daughter really has ADD - as opposed to the normal limited attention span of a 7 year old - then big picture strategic things like an organization plan will be exceptionally difficult for her as it heavily stresses executive function.  You might be better off just suggesting to her that she use the same organization as in her old room, with an art corner, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later once everything is in place, you can help her reorganize if she wants to.  That way she could get practice at organization, perhaps in smaller pieces, without the massive distraction of recovering from a move.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-27T20:19:16.997" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27277" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27279" CreationDate="2016-09-28T02:24:14.983" Score="138" ViewCount="48173" Body="&lt;p&gt;My girlfriend's 14 year old daughter came out to me as a girl on a bike ride when her mother wasn't there. I fully accept her and gladly refer to her by her chosen name ('Emily' for the purposes of this question) and pronouns. Emily told me she hadn't told her mother yet and she felt more comfortable telling me first. Overall, we have conflict-free, loving, pretty great relationship. She told me not to tell her mother and of course I agreed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The bike ride was on 9/11, and Emily finally came out to her mother on Friday night (5 days ago). I don't know what exactly happened, I got home late from work and they were in a heated argument, but it ended with Emily going to her room and refusing to come out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later that night, my girlfriend referred to her own child as a &quot;degenerate&quot;. She's mentioned &quot;sending him to a camp&quot; and &quot;disowning him&quot;. She has made other similar comments as well as creating an unsupportive environment by misgendering Emily and referring to her by her former name at every opportunity. She's become even more strict about Emily's clothing, hair, accessories, etc. I would have understood if she were shocked or in denial, if she thought it was a phase, etc. but to be honest, she might well bully her own child into suicide at this rate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried to talk to my girlfriend, she only responds that I am &quot;taking his side&quot; and &quot;promoting that lifestyle&quot;. I tried everything from telling her about the high suicide rates among trans teens, I showed her studies on how trans teens start doing so much better (in terms of mental health, in school, etc) once they start treatment &lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;, and others but she is not budging. There is the added issue that Emily is not my kid, so my girlfriend feels I have no say (and to an extent, I agree).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, &lt;strong&gt;how do I best protect Emily not only from bullies outside the home, but from the bullying she's experiencing from my girlfriend?&lt;/strong&gt; I don't want to get between Emily and her mother. Emily's father passed away before she was a year old, so her mother is her only surviving parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if it's relevant, Emily is the only child in the home - I don't have any children and she's my GF's only child. They moved in with me about a year ago, we've been together for 3 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Second question:&lt;/em&gt; My girlfriend's talk of disowning or sending Emily to a horrific &quot;conversion&quot; camp has me wondering if I should be taking steps to become Emily's legal guardian (if she agrees). &lt;strong&gt;How do I discuss this with her and what are the benefits of legal guardianship in this situation?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; Emily told me she wants to see a doctor about getting on testosterone blockers. She'll be able to get counseling as well, since extensive counseling is a given when considering transition. The trans-friendly clinics/hospitals in our area have mental health professionals on staff and require their patients to undergo counseling before and during transition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24550" LastEditorUserId="24550" LastEditDate="2016-09-29T21:23:32.500" LastActivityDate="2017-10-10T14:13:38.607" Title="My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter" Tags="|teen|safety|relationships|step-parents|mental-health|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="14" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27278" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-28T04:37:03.637" Score="130" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are clearly very loving and supportive of your step-child. This is a great gift you are giving to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of a relationship with your girlfriend. Your girlfriend's child only came out to her &lt;em&gt;5 days ago&lt;/em&gt;. For 14 years, her child has been her son. She has imagined a life far into the future with and for her son. This is a great loss to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finding out your child has a gender identity conflict is not an easy issue to deal with initially &lt;em&gt;for most people&lt;/em&gt;. Periods of denial, anger, bargaining, and depression (not necessarily in that order, and of varying duration) are often part of the processing that precedes acceptance. You seem to think what your significant other is going through is unusual. It's not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I would have understood if she were shocked or in denial, if she thought it was a phase, etc. but to be honest, she might well bully her own child into suicide at this rate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's been 5 days. Your significant other (SO) is not you, and she needs to process this the best way she can without your making her out to be a malignant parent. She needs your support (not &lt;em&gt;agreement&lt;/em&gt;, but support) every bit as much as the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to expedite the process, get her into therapy as soon as possible with a counselor who specializes in gender identity conflict. (It might not be a bad idea to look into a therapist and/or a support group for your step-daughter as well; the therapist could be the same one the mom has.) Find reading material in books or online. Be the calm in the storm. Model acceptance without force-feeding it to your SO. Five days is a bit soon to discuss obtaining legal custody, and I don't think that will be anything but gasoline on the fire right at this moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surely your daughter was expecting some blow-back (she did ask you not to tell her mother.) Perhaps you can give her some credit, too, for being strong and resilient (I'm not there hearing the fights, but five days is just too soon to take rantings very seriously.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest, again, more patience, support, and calmness in this situation with both individuals. If this continues without change or your daughter is showing signs of depression, then do become more pro-active.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, your support and love for your step-daughter is really great. She is lucky to have you in her life. Give her mom time to catch up in her own painful way. My sister in law took close to two years to accept her son as gay (and for a long time thought he was sinning and an abomination!) Luckily most of the family accepted this much sooner than she did. But they now have a very loving and supportive relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sincerely hope that your SO comes around much sooner than that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T04:37:03.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27279" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-28T12:10:12.700" Score="65" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How do I best protect Emily ... from the bullying she's experiencing from [her mother]?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are in a tricky situation.  It's very likely that you will lose your girlfriend &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; Emily over this issue if you do not somehow figure out how to support both parent and child.  Given that you are not Emily's father, nor her mother's husband, you have absolutely no legal rights in this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As such I believe you have two very difficult tasks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First you need to make sure that mom feels safe and comfortable staying with you.  If this argument escalates to the point where she believes she will lose control of her child's life, it's unlikely that she will choose you over her child.  You understand your relationship better than I, so perhaps you can weigh the risks better, but pushing against mom might not actually help Emily.  It may be that Emily's best chance is if you support mom in slowing down Emily's transition so that it can happen at all.  Going slowly is better than Mom and Emily leaving and not having any support at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second you need to support Emily and help her to see the advantage to moving more slowly.  She may have been considering this for months or years, and she may be ready.  It may be true that she shouldn't have to wait for others to become ready.  But unlike abortion - where in some jurisdictions you can undergo a medical procedure without a parent's knowledge or permission - sexual transition therapy is not something that can be done by herself without her mother's knowledge and permission.  Not legally at any rate. Further, she's only 14, and she's making a decision that will irreversibly change her life.  While it's an important time to make the transition if that's the decision, it's equally important to make sure it's the right decision.  So at this juncture it may be best to help her understand that she's got her whole life ahead of her, and she can go through this process more slowly.  Jumping in all at once may not be in her best interest, given her mother's opposition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can thread the needle, so to speak, you have a much better chance of being able to support Emily throughout this transition than you do if you actively oppose her mother's decisions for her child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...should [I] be taking steps to become Emily's legal guardian...?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think you have any real chance.  If you can show real harm to Emily - as in the treatment of her mother fits the legal family court definition of child abuse - then you might have a possible chance, but you might also find that her mother shuts you out of the process legally and Emily instead ends up in foster care or with other relatives.  In either case you lose influence in this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have any desire to do anything legally you should consult with a good family law lawyer. It may well be that in some particular areas of the country courts and judges will be sympathetic to the plight of transgender teens and award guardianship to non relatives, but I wouldn't suggest this to either Emily or your girlfriend until you have spoken with a lawyer and understand the likelihood.  If Emily knew you were pursuing this, she may get a false sense of hope, or tell her mother in the heat of argument.  Once mom finds out you are even considering taking control of any part of Emily's life without mom's consent or approval I believe you will lose both.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1700" LastEditorUserId="24576" LastEditDate="2016-09-29T10:45:14.777" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T10:45:14.777" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27280" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-28T12:57:52.763" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Most of what you should be doing is talking the mother down. Help her realize that while this is a shock and unexpected, it's far from the worst-case a parent can go through (her child is healthy and has a long life expectancy still). Look into PFLAG or other organizations in your area that are set up for parents of LBGT kids (&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-children-and-youth-finding-support-for-you-and-your-family&quot;&gt;http://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-children-and-youth-finding-support-for-you-and-your-family&lt;/a&gt;). It may help her if she can connect with other parents who have gone through what she's going through. Even a lot of LGBT-rights supporting parents have less-than-stellar reactions when their own kids come out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can't protect Emily from all bullying and abuse she will face as a transgendered youth. What you can do is help her get tools to effectively cope with it. I strongly recommend you see if she can go to a trans-friendly therapist and/or a youth LGBT group. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7102" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T12:57:52.763" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27281" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27218" CreationDate="2016-09-28T14:50:10.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our two boys (4 years and 18 months) have been going to daycare since they were 3 months old, and have generally been good at daycare dropoff time, just as you describe your son was before the new toddler room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;But&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;over the winter break this year, they were out of daycare for two weeks, and each of them turned into a complete disaster at dropoff time for 2-3 weeks after they returned to daycare.  (I think they just get used to hanging out with their favorite people—their parents—and then having to go back to the daycare routine is upsetting; they'd rather keep spending all day with you.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;What worked for us&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;was to just keep to &lt;em&gt;our&lt;/em&gt; normal routine at dropoff time, rather than adjusting to the new crying.  We'd hug and kiss them goodbye, say we'd see them at the end of the day, and we'd just leave.  Yes, they'd be crying and distraught, but we always just left.  And yes, the teachers were able to redirect them to something else eventually.  After 2-3 weeks of this pattern, we had a good dropoff day, and another, and we were back to normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;My advice&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;is to follow your instinct that you shouldn't take him home when he's upset.  These are highly adaptable little people, and given time &lt;strong&gt;and, critically,&lt;/strong&gt; a regular routine, he'll adjust to the routine.  I remember when our older boy was in a toddler room, there was a new girl who joined the room, at about 20 months old, and she had never been to daycare before.  Every time I saw her for the first month, morning or afternoon, she was crying, and then suddenly: &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;click&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;, she was fine just like any other child.  So stick to the new routine, ride it out, and he'll adjust. &lt;sub&gt;(Probably. Every kid is different.)&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;All that said,&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;a critical component is that his teachers are trying to help redirect him, calm him, and so forth.  If the teachers aren't working to make things better, then you really should have another conversation with them and/or the director.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One other quick suggestion: give him something to look forward to after you leave daycare.  So for example, if he likes crackers, make sure his teacher has some crackers that he can only get &lt;em&gt;after&lt;/em&gt; you leave.  &amp;quot;Bye, and don't forget to go get your cracker!&amp;quot;  Or stickers, or whatever.  This will give him a little positive experience to look forward to after you're gone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24282" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T14:50:10.837" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27282" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-28T15:42:36.007" Score="1" ViewCount="251" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was adopted from an unknown parentage into a family of mixed heritage. I was 3 months old at the time, so I really don't think about my biological background. I certainly look like I could be from the mix of my family, but we are all fairly caucasian looking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, whenever I am asked about my race - on applications, for example - I wonder if I am legally &quot;mixed race.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17306" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T03:08:55.343" Title="Is a child adopted into a mixed-race family considered mixed race as well?" Tags="|adoption|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2016-10-02T16:24:10.010" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27283" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-28T15:43:29.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;We keep a few of these in our car at all times:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;trail mix: high in protein in case we are delayed for a meal or coming back from an activity&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;apple sauce (unsweetened): good source of fiber, satisfies a sweet tooth. the pouches are great because they don't require utensils&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;cheerios or goldfish: we actually get the organic bunnies, but we keep an entire box in the car&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually keep a granola bar and/or trail mix in my purse, as well as a lollipop or candy for bribes :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17744" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T15:43:29.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27284" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2016-09-28T16:05:35.700" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My list:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;not too common, don't want five others in their classroom with the same name&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you see it written, you can pronounce it correctly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;if you hear it said, you can spell it correctly&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No embarrassing nicknames&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not too match-y with last name&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Initials don't spell anything embarrassing/inappropriate&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17486" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T16:05:35.700" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2016-09-28T16:05:35.700" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27285" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27282" CreationDate="2016-09-28T16:07:25.643" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Legal questions would depend on the country you're asking about, as every country is different.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;code&gt;Race&lt;/code&gt;, as opposed to &lt;code&gt;ethnicity&lt;/code&gt;, is generally considered to be a physical characteristic - i.e., it's not something that describes the culture you were raised in, but that describes yourself genetically - or at least, personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is however still considered, at least in the United States, to be something you mostly define on your own.  If you consider yourself white, you are white.  If you consider yourself black, you are.  Same for mixed race.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Cases where there are exceptions to this are primarily where there are specific benefits based on race - specifically, things like scholarships.  There the scholarship may have a specific rule (&quot;must have at least one grandparent&quot; or similar).  But even in most of those cases it's very hard to say, and most of those are thus based on ethnicity rather than race.  Racial preferences as far as affirmative action are nearly always based on self-reported race, and thus it's up to you what you consider yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are aware of your biological parentage, you could of course find out what race your parents are/were, and determine yours from that. If you're unaware, you should consider yourself whatever race you think is appropriate; you could consider genetic testing if you wish in order to find out what race(s) you share the most DNA with, but that is likely not necessary unless you wish to know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately - you should make a choice based on what you feel.  Applications for jobs or university will allow you to make your own choice, and will not second-guess you for it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T16:07:25.643" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27286" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27111" CreationDate="2016-09-28T16:43:01.767" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We keep Veggie Straws in the car since they're healthy and contain vegetables. They don't make a mess in the car and they stay for a while since they come in individually sealed bags as well. I also keep organic fruit snack such as Clif Z ropes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I keep Larabars for myself in the car!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21906" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T16:43:01.767" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27287" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27288" CreationDate="2016-09-28T16:47:33.743" Score="2" ViewCount="6016" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 14 month old son will walk, and even sometimes run, but when he is sitting or falls, for some reason he can't (or won't) stand up on his own.  Is there a way I can encourage him to learn this vital life skill?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also skipped the crawling phase, and still do this day cannot crawl (though he walks everywhere, grabs stuff, and even rearranges some of our furniture (dining room chairs) at times.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24562" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-09-28T17:54:51.030" LastActivityDate="2018-09-15T05:25:24.513" Title="14 month old walking but not standing up on his own" Tags="|toddler|development|milestones|standing|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27288" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27287" CreationDate="2016-09-28T18:00:47.553" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Mostly, I think you'll find that he will learn this in his own time.  If he's not doing it now, it's either because he is not quite yet strong enough to (standing up from sitting takes slightly different muscles than walking does), or he doesn't want to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's a matter of want, you can help that along by leaving him be when he falls over or is sitting.  He will eventually decide to do it on his own, maybe just not as fast as you'd like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's a matter of strength, to some extent this will just come as he gets stronger and as he walks more (which works some of the muscles needed, though not exactly the same set).  You can help by making sure he has a lot of opportunities to work on his abdominal muscles (the &quot;core&quot; muscles, in the area of the belly button, mostly).  Try not to use &quot;bouncers&quot; or other similar assisted-standing devices as much as you can; keeping that time to less than an hour a day is good (that's what my pediatrician recommended) as those keep him from having to develop his own muscles.  Let him walk as much as you can, and let him try to stand up by himself at least for a while before helping him - the more you let him do, the better off he'll be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If this goes another few months and he still cannot stand on his own, talk to your pediatrician about it, both to get more specific-to-you advice and to make sure that there aren't any developmental concerns. I don't mean to suggest that there are at this point, but your pediatrician will know best, and will have good advice for how to help your son specifically.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-09-28T18:00:47.553" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27291" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27282" CreationDate="2016-09-29T03:00:00.713" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I repeat some of the previous answer and Can't reply to the answer but i wanted to give something to think about...  i am mixed race but my parents are not.    My children are mixed race but because they would only be aprox 25% non-Europid, they will probably be assumed to be Caucasian. I appear Caucasian to the majority of laymen.    You could always send a DNA sample in and have an analysis done for around $100usd. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless you are applying to something that is based on your race (like scholarship or tribal recognition), do whatever feels right. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://blogs.findlaw.com/law_and_life/2015/06/rachel-dolezal-lying-about-racial-identity-a-crime.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This&lt;/a&gt; is about that  white NAACP lady.  It may violate an employer's ethics code, but it appears that flat-out lying about your race is not illegal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US it is only asked for statistical reporting and you may decline to provide any such information.&#xA;Do your birth or adoption documents have Anything that could help you? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24356" LastEditorUserId="24356" LastEditDate="2016-09-29T03:08:55.343" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T03:08:55.343" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27292" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-29T09:27:01.827" Score="33" Body="&lt;h1&gt;Warning&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;harsh answer, not because I don't support transgender people, but because of your position in the family and how you act in this situation&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;step-daughter ... my girlfriend&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I assume you mean your girlfriends child, over whom you have no legal guardian status.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;14 year old ... it ended with Emily going to her room and refusing to come out&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The child is in her teenage years, in which it should not be a surprise that there are conflicts with the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;she only responds that I am &amp;quot;taking his side&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the whole story it seems that is indeed pretty much what you do. You don't seem to give serious consideration to your girlfriends feelings at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;telling her about the high suicide rates among trans teens&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of comforting her, you make the situation more extreme and push emotions to a higher level.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emily is not my kid...moved in with me about a year ago&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Exactly, so why do you think to know what is best for this kid, and presume to tell mom, who has known the child for her entire life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;wondering if I should be taking steps to become Emily's legal guardian&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you realize that this will not help the family, but destroy it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I could go on a bit more, I hope that it is clear that it is clear that you may need to step back a bit and think about what you are doing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Answer&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;What you should be doing is trying to protect the child, protect your girlfriend and protect the family as a whole.&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the child wants to change gender physically, now would literally be the worst time to do that. There is no stable family situation and emotions are running high. Do what you can to diffuse the situation, rather than just trying to push what the child wants onto her mother, make sure to help the mother and child to get together again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And yes, that would in my book definitely mean NOT doing anything irreversible now. If mother and child manage to find eachother (or even if they don't) you can consider irreversible changes in half a year from now and nothing is lost, but if you do something now the family may be lost forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things like using a male or female name are less irreversible. This does not mean that one name or the other should definitely be used, but that this can be something the child and parent can go back and forth over untill they find middle ground. Perhaps this would be a nice starting point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24580" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-10-06T14:30:33.630" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27293" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-29T10:46:37.993" Score="43" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a fantastic question.  You are wonderful for your level of consideration given a perplexing situation here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Problem:&lt;/strong&gt; I used to be Emily.  It's over 25 years later, and this thing just doesn't really go away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 14 you already knew at 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13, every day.  Yes, Emily thinks about this at least as often as any teenage boy or girl thinks about sex or eating.  If it's real, she thinks about it more than either you or your girlfriend and you are both extremely important people in her life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is intertwined with who you are, and, guess what the real curse is?  Visions of alternate lives aside, it &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; shows up whenever you want to have a relationship with someone.  So what you can hide all this in your normal life, you can't when you have a relationship!  Because the other person can taste it.  All your instincts are &quot;backwards&quot;, and people hate you for it.  It doesn't make any sense, but you can't escape it.  Hours into years and reunions tick by and it's still there.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're guilty whether you come out or not.  People smell it.  If you line a class up on a wall we all know that Jeff is more of a man than Charlie, Joe's weird, and Jeremy wouldn't know masculinity if it hit him in the face.  Worse, people smell it on strangers 5 seconds in.  It's instinctual.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And all the alpha males already smell it on Emily.  She's locker-slamming bully bait.  Emily doesn't have a safe alternative here.  Transitioning isn't safe, it's just sometimes less dangerous.  It replaces some of that 41%+ suicide rate with temporarily higher risks in other areas then probably lower ones later.  Women who have been sexually assaulted, an acknowledged nightmare tragedy, have a 24% suicide rate.  Meanwhile, this thing which Emily has a hard time explaining to people is probably the #1 reason she might die, likely to take her life long before any cancer or accident.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sexual assault rates are worse, even for the racially privileged:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;white cis male: ~6%  (4-15%)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;white cis female: ~20-25%&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;white trans male (FtM): 55%&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;white trans female (MtF): 68%&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your girlfriend's stance is dangerous for Emily, especially if Emily has access to a gun.  If you do, hide it.  Males succeed at suicide at far higher rates than females mostly due to readily available access to guns (often from former military service).  This is a thing you need to be aware of now since reactions like your girlfriend's, combined with local bullying and gaslighting, are exactly why people with gender dysphoria kill themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Acknowledgement, allies, and transition:&lt;/strong&gt; The grand blessing of being able to actually be the gender you are inside is that your instincts come back.  Instincts are what let you read meanings that are so potent they are unspoken.  They tell you when there's going to be a fight, why, and how to handle a particular fight.  They let you avoid and settle disagreements.  Instincts keep you alive.  We pretend we've grown past that, but no, normal privileged people have -- white males can fight &quot;with honor&quot; and talk to a cop without getting shot.  Minorities and LGBT people are shot, knifed beaten to death every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Emily is that, whether she transitions or not.  People, men and women, will call her a fag across the street, regardless of how she changes her life.  They will smell that something isn't right with her, they will single her out, and punish her for it whether she alters her appearance or not.  And chances are no &quot;justice&quot; would ever result.  The conviction list for people who beat up on trans people is extremely short.  The number of people who bully, marginalize, gaslight, mock, disparage, attack, assault, and outright murder trans or gender dysphoric people is a significant portion of society.  Sure, aggressive alphas are a small fraction, 5-15%? but they vastly outnumber trans people at 0.6% and prove themselves by picking the seemingly weak, the outliers.  Emily has outlier branded on her forehead whether she wears a dress or not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your girlfriend's world has a lot more safety, and many more knowns in her own life than Emily does.  Emily is a minor.  Emily is the underdog here, and she carries a horrible curse she never chose.  She just woke up with it years ago.  Yes, parts of it are indeed wondrous, but much of it is unfortunately difficult.  Any God there is made her this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I grew up around fundamentalists.  Jesus ate with thieves, reviled tax collectors, and prostitutes.  At worst for kindness and compassion, Jesus would surely break bread with Emily, listen to her, understand her.  Given that he preached turning the other cheek, and is shown with beatific eyes, and a peaceful demeanor, clad in a flowing tunic -- dude, future unwanted beard or not, Emily probably looks and acts more like he did than most people.  Jesus preaches that you know a person by their actions.  How is wearing a dress, caring, and expressing heartfelt emotions in an undudely way a sin when half the people on the planet do it every second of the day?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gender makes up &amp;lt;2% of our physical body mass.  Good gravy, for someone who really substantially wants the other side, is it really worth making them feel like trash over some hidden piece that isn't even public?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Going forward:&lt;/strong&gt; Emily has different thoughts.  Ask her the stories.  I wish you all well, and that she, you, and your girlfriend have the chance to meet others who see the world her way.  There are some amazing discoveries in there which not many people understand, and once you see them, it frees you in your own life and allows you to do and experience life in a different way, even without changing how you look or behave.  It relates to the same deep emotions that are why we fall in love, experience beauty, strength, possibility and wonder.  There are awesome things ahead.  Transitioning is better younger.  Given her age at 14 Emily will be noticeably anxious about irreversible change of puberty.  Please, listen.  It's a curse because most people don't accept it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have many unusual and amazing treasures.  The important thing to do is see what is there and let those hidden things come out.  Chances are the demons and the sharp things she's been tripping on in her subconscious will change in the light -- hey!  Turns out that thing that's been slaughtering my shins at night in the dark is really a... harpoon gun?  Wait, this creepy basement was really a &lt;em&gt;Bat Cave&lt;/em&gt; the whole time?  &lt;em&gt;Woa!&lt;/em&gt;  No wonder it was so dangerous.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't describe the moment of how powerful it is to feel the change, but Hollywood already has in many movies where the clumsy nobody turns into a superhero.  You can't be a superhero in life, but you can be a woman*.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For some of us, it's basically same thing anyway.  Even if, in practice, it means being a second class citizen who can be interrupted, belittled, underpaid, hit on, and pestered by men (and other women) in different ways every new day.  Yay?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(*)with footnotes and sans reproduction, but done well, you really can convince most other people and have hardly anyone know, especially if you start young.  At the end of the day it's hormones, acting, and making the best choices for how to deal with the particular pile of crap life dumped on your driveway.  How is that evil?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24578" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T10:46:37.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27295" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-29T12:34:35.897" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;A simple answer for &quot;bullies outside the house&quot; which applies for all bullied children: get them to a martial arts class.  Personally I'd favour jiu jitsu, but pretty much anything will do the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's nothing bullies like more than someone who can't fight back.  There are two elements to fighting back - one is mental, and the other is physical.  Martial arts develops both.  She doesn't have to be able to knock them out, she just has to be enough trouble that it isn't worth their while to physically abuse her, or at least it'll reduce the frequency of it.  As someone who was profoundly physically, verbally and emotionally bullied from the day I started school to the day I left, I can testify personally to the before-and-after effects of my taekwondo lessons.  The only thing I wish is that I'd done it earlier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a bonus, I can't see her mum objecting to her kid wanting to become a badass either. ;) From her POV, it probably looks &lt;strong&gt;more&lt;/strong&gt; masculine.  From Emily's POV, it's self-defence.  There's no downside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course this doesn't stop verbal and emotional abuse. As Emily and her peers grow up, that will become the predominant type of bullying, and there's really no good answer to that.  But at least it's a start for the immediate physical threat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This does depend on whether her peers are likely to bully her.  In the UK at least, gay rights and other equal rights for minorities tends to be a &quot;well, duh!&quot; kind of thing for kids.  If you're living in a strongly-religious community though, her peers are likely to take a lead from their families in the same way as your girlfriend has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14637" LastEditorUserId="14637" LastEditDate="2016-09-29T16:03:55.443" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T16:03:55.443" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27296" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-29T13:05:24.227" Score="2" ViewCount="10643" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 5-year-old son. He has bitten on two occasions in class. At school they have set up a positive behaviour chart and he has had to give an apology drawing to the children he hurt. The teacher has asked to see us to discuss this as it is out of character. Any suggestions on how to deal with this at home. We have explained and talked to him about why he should not bite and have devised a feelings chart he puts stickers on emoji faces to express if he is feeling happy, sad, angry etc. but as I'm not there at the time it happens I'm not sure if we should carry on to discipline him about it at home, he hasn't done it out of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is aimed at do we punish him at home after the event has happened hours earlier and been dealt with in the school day. Any suggestions on how to deal with this at home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24585" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-02T18:15:48.893" LastActivityDate="2019-01-02T18:15:48.893" Title="How to make our 5-year-old stop biting children at school?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|school|biting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27297" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27296" CreationDate="2016-09-29T15:19:48.800" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, Children bite/pinch/push since they cannot communicate their emotions. Make sure your child can express verbally. e.g. if he is angry ask him to say it loud that he is upset. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, Explain him it's okay to get angry but not okay to hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thirdly, Children (and adults) have difficulty in controlling impulse. This is a skill that can be gain over time. It's part of learning process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourthly, Children don't understand the impact of their action. The moment they see how it really to bite they think before doing. My son used to pinch. I saw him youtube video of crab pinching. Then asked him, are you a crab or a boy? It seems to be working but not 100%. Please don't spank him. If you really want to punish give hime a time-out and let him do puzzle or drawing alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24127" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-10-01T19:58:43.110" LastActivityDate="2016-10-01T19:58:43.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27298" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-29T15:41:11.623" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Whatever else you may do, find a good trans-friendly therapist for your daughter to help her acquire tools to cope with the stressors in her life, being mindful that all therapy is family therapy and that there is no one who cannot benefit from therapy, especially in this case your GF and yourself. You likely have to foot the bill, GF may well be resistant and even put up roadblocks, but persevere. It may be one of the single most important things you can do. GF may be persuaded by imagining that this will &quot;straighten her out&quot;, but a good therapist will only help your daughter better understand and accept who she is and how to be comfortable with that in the face of people who do not. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest a Art Therapist, but that's just because that's what I'm most familiar with and see many advantages over straight talk therapy, certainly with adolescents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24593" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T15:41:11.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27299" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27296" CreationDate="2016-09-29T15:57:50.577" Score="2" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The best thing I can suggest to make a difference &lt;strong&gt;now&lt;/strong&gt;, is to role play it! Act out the situations over and over and have him rehearse how he is expected to react. I explain to my daughter that feelings are like clouds (we look at the clouds as we're having this conversation, and we've had it hundreds of times). They come and go, they are always moving, and always acceptable. They are real and important, but they don't change the land around them. We are like the land around - always surrounded by weather, but not changed by it. He is the mountain - always the same regardless of the feelings. It's good to notice them, but &lt;strong&gt;we are all responsible for how we behave regardless of how we feel.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;That said, if the behavior only occurs in that setting it's the sign of a classroom/student mismatch. I think time out is the appropriate response to this behavior (done as Setting Limits for your Strong-Willed Child describes), but none of that is effective by the time a 5 year old child gets home. He's too young for the day to carry over very well. By the time he's 7 you can effectively carry lessons at home to school and vice versa. In the mean time &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;it is positive&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; to discuss the proper expression of feelings, but it's like reading to your child - it's not going to translate into an immediate skill - it's building the skill for the coming years. It's critical - but as for actually effecting the behavior at school, the results will be minimal and take a lot of time. Discuss it when he comes home. Tell him big feelings are always okay, but actions (such as biting) are not. Tell him again in the morning. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is definitely time for a parent teacher conference and the book Setting Limits for your Strong-Willed Child is written by an author who also wrote a book for limits in a classroom. If the teacher is willing to work with you on establishing authoritative discipline (neither punitive, nor permissive - clear, firm, and respectful) then you've got a teacher you can work with. If not, immediately ask the principle if there is a teacher who is more authoritative by nature. I have transferred my daughter out of classrooms with timid or overbearing teachers - she is way too head strong to do well in those settings and she develops bad habits quickly with either of those styles. But as long as she has an authoritative teacher she's never had an issue at school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24594" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T15:57:50.577" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27300" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27302" CreationDate="2016-09-29T16:37:44.513" Score="20" ViewCount="3130" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 3 year old cautious and sensitive boy. My husband and I often have different opinions on parenting and sometimes it led to arguments. For some reason, my husband tends to listen to third parties more than me so I'm hoping experienced parents here could give us some suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My primary goal is to raise a happy child so I try to meet the boy's needs as long as it's not a discipline issue. I always think a child especially a sensitive one will be easy to become unhappy if he/she is often disposed to unhappy situations. My husband thinks child should be trained with some tough situations and should always listen to parents even if the parents are wrong. I figured it may be clear to list few cases that we disagreed with. By the way, I'm not seeking for answers of who is right or wrong, but suggestions of how to deal with similar types of situations more reasonably and properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) One morning we were in a hurry to go to work. At the door the boy held a reusable piggy sticker from Melissa and Doug Sticker Pad and wanted to take it with him. My husband didn't let him because he thought it would be lost. The boy started to cry. But I thought it was not a big deal and let the boy go with it. My husband was very unhappy - he said I should support him to be consistent as he already said no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) My husband always teased the boy stating that the boy should be trained to get used to similar situations that may happen to him in the future. Being teased continuously, the boy said no first, then raised voice, and then yelled. I was very frustrated about it as I think the boy will get used to yell and be mad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) When the boy started to walk at early age, my husband didn't like the idea of protecting the boy from the sharp furniture edge/corners as he thought it's over protecting and wanted the boy to learn to avoid them. Although we did protect the edges/corners, I was totally speechless when hearing his reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Since the boy is 3 year old now, he understands a lot but still says no to us a lot of times. Many evenings it is a struggle to take the boy to brush teeth and have a bath. When the boy didn't want to do what we expected, I usually distracted him with other interesting talks and he would do it. But my husband simply grabbed him to the washroom and fighted to get things done. Of course the boy cried, screamed, and struggled. Last night the boy cried for few seconds while asleep &quot;daddy, no. daddy no&quot;. I can't say 100% sure it's because of the struggle while having bath, but I'm afraid that it's related. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;5) My husband is a game lover and I understand some people need gaming to relax. The only thing I don't agree is to teach/show such a young boy gaming. It's easy for kids to get addicted to it and I think it's important to help the young kids to develop good life habits while they are young.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Although we have a lot of disagreement on parenting, we both want to be good for the boy. Your valuable suggestions will be much appreciated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24589" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2017-06-02T03:46:47.543" LastActivityDate="2017-06-02T03:46:47.543" Title="My husband and I have different opinions on parenting" Tags="|pre-schooler|parents|conflict|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27301" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-29T16:59:33.850" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your significant other built an image of the future for her only child and this image crushed to pieces. She is shocked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She has to recover from that shock. The dream crushed 5 days ago, the recovery will take much more time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Comfort her. Attempt to take them both to specialists, they both need a therapy to recover from the shock.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you both support Emily, the problems from external people should last only during the transformation. After that you can change the school, where only the new identity will be known. If there are no signs that Emily is &quot;different&quot;, there won't be reasons for a bully.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23607" LastEditorDisplayName="user24631" LastEditDate="2016-10-27T14:06:03.700" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T14:06:03.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27302" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27300" CreationDate="2016-09-29T17:57:43.670" Score="17" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's my personal take on this...like you, my husband and I often disagree on parenting issues, and we have managed to work out some practices that help deal with these differences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'd say your husband was correct in that you need to provide a unified front, especially on such minor issues.  If you disagree with what he has said, you need to withdraw in order to discuss it out of earshot of your son.  Then you need to decide what the policy is going to be going forward.  After you decide, you can either come out and let your husband announce that &amp;quot;mommy and daddy have talked about it and we've decided you can take the sticker&amp;quot; OR you can announce &amp;quot;daddy is right, you might lose it and you'll have to leave it here so it can be safe&amp;quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The important thing is to demonstrate to your son that the two of you are in harmony.  Fighting in front of your kids is always a bad idea, unless you are able to come to an agreement without negative feelings, and I've only met one couple personally who is able to achieve this.  Fighting in front of your son has two possible consequences.  First, it can make your son feel unsafe.  In this age of divorce-R-us fear of the stability of your home breaking up beneath your feet is a very real fear.  Second, it teaches him that if he doesn't like the answer he's getting he can go to the other parent and get the first overruled.  He'll take advantage of this and start playing mommy-vs-daddy games.  This is normal, kids do it if they can, so just anticipate and head it off before it begins.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your husband is wrong, IMO.  You are his parents.  Your job is to support him and make the environment safe, not to model the unpleasant things that he will have to deal with outside the home.  They will occur soon enough, and when they do he will be able to come to you for comfort and advice.  He will &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; do this if he doesn't think you are on his side; you'll just be another hostile force in his life.  When bad things happen, your job is to sympathize and make him feel loved, and discuss what to do if/when the situation occurs again.  Telling him &amp;quot;I told you this would happen&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;toughen up, kid&amp;quot; is counterproductive and destructive to his trust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'm seeing both sides on this one.  Sharp corners are going to happen.  If it is something that can actually harm him (like the edge of a glass table, metal spikes, etc) you should protect it but don't overdo it.  Bumps happen.  They cry, you hug them and distract and they move on.  Covering every possible hazard sends the message that a child isn't safe even in his own home and may lead to anxieties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Very&lt;/em&gt; much disagree with your husband.  Forcing a child and possiby frightening him is &lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt; good.  Your tactic of distraction was the perfect thing to do.  At that age, kids are just learning about the concept of &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; and they are trying it out and often falling in love with it :)  It's harmless...just a stage.  As long as you don't make a big issue of it, the stage will pass but if you turn every &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; into a battle, you will be teaching your child to resist you by reflex.  Or you will damage his spirit and make him afraid to express himself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'm taking your husband's side on this one, but I may be prejudiced because my entire family games :)  It's one of the few things that I can do with my handicapped daughter which we both enjoy doing together.  I'd say don't worry about &amp;quot;early addiction&amp;quot; and just treat this as a chance for together time for them.  It might be that your husband is trying to find a way to connect with his son which is pleasurable for both of them.  Please don't discourage this.  Not everyone enjoys interacting with children in equal measure, sometimes you have to make some adjustment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T17:57:43.670" CommentCount="12" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27303" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27300" CreationDate="2016-09-29T18:36:09.190" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot; I always think a child especially a sensitive one will be easy to become unhappy if he/she is often disposed to unhappy situations. My husband thinks child should be trained with some tough situations and should always listen to parents even if the parents are wrong.&quot; In this, I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Children are going to experience negative emotions, and they can occur frequently. The more often they occur the more opportunities your child has to learn adjustment and resilience. That said, I think those things occur naturally. Life presents those situations daily, on it's own. The parent should not be the source of that unnecessarily. There will be times when the parent is the necessary source of negative (for example, my daughter would have a conniption every time I washed her hair, but that must happen on a fairly regular basis. I didn't back off because she wailed, but I didn't make it more traumatic than necessary either. I would empathize with her feelings, but assure her it was important and had to happen). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your husband likes outside sources, ask if he will listen to Setting Limits for Your Strong-Willed Child with you. The book is the most balanced book on child-rearing I've read. Your child doesn't have to be strong-willed for it to be of value-&gt; it's a wonderful book for all parents. My partner and I were having some difference of opinions over parenting and I asked if he would listen to it. We actually listened separately, but in the same time period, and then discussed it. We both loved it, and by asking him to read the book we could then discuss the book rather than getting caught up in emotional arguments about things that were already sore discussions. We listened on audio - trust me I know as a parent you sometimes don't have all the sit-down reading time you want :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Francine accept when the action of the other parent seems abusive. Disagreeing with him about the sticker is a way to teach your son disrespect for both of you. If, on the other hand he's rough, I think it's okay to gently stand up to your husband. My boyfriend used to pick my daughter up abruptly enough to startle me, and I would simply tell him so. I didn't start fights about it, I just let him know that it startled me, and I could relate to her anger at it.  Even then, I would save the adult side of that discussion for when she was out of earshot. Thankfully I've never dealt with anyone being more physically or verbally aggressive toward her than that. However, if it ever did come up - that there was name calling, physical, or emotional abuse I would say something, in front of her. Outside of those situations I agree with Francine. Take disagreements about parenting out of the room. Perhaps, if emotions tend to run high, rehearse taking those conversations out of the room with your husband. You may both need time to cool down before discussion. But doing these things will pay off in the moment and have the added benefit of teaching your child to honor emotions without impulsively acting on them. By modeling in highly emotional moments that you and your spouse will cool down first, then talk, and then act you will teach him to do the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24595" LastActivityDate="2016-09-29T18:36:09.190" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27304" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-09-29T19:01:42.483" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes this site can be very liberal. It makes me afraid to post an answer like this, but here we go anyway. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have two serious problems. None of which are your step-son/daughter. The first is you. You accept this behavior, your allow for it. You're supportive of it. Now that doesn't normally sound like a bad thing, but it can be. Especially when the parent is not. It's his mother's call, rather the family unit supports Emily in this or not. And clearly, the mother does not. Let me be clear here. To the mother, the son is talking about self mutilation, destroying their body, causing massive self harm, and going down a path that will make them an &quot;outsider&quot; in almost every situation. And you, her boyfriend, are coming off like, &quot;sure let me go find a chain saw and we'll get started&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now to be fair, as an outsider, I know that's not exactly what your doing. But your girlfriend has a set of values, that Emily is deciding to break. And rather than support your girlfriends values, you're &quot;siding against her.&quot; That is a very bad thing. You should support your girlfriend, even if you disagree, and then try to change her opinion privately. This is difficult. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second problem is that your acting as pseudo-dad. When parents in a traditional family setting decide to have kids, they put up a unified front. They discuss their values, ideals, what they wish to pass on and even impose on their children. You are not a parent. You have not done the parent things. You haven't bought the ring and gotten married, nor have you filled out the paper work and adopted the child. You are &quot;boyfriend&quot; and you need to remember that. I know that can seem harsh. But you haven't made that commitment yet. You could, decide, tomorrow, to vanish, and that would be that. End of your responsibility. Now I go into all of that, because here the mother's value system wins. You do not get a vote.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the mother feels that this path is an abomination to God, and makes her son a degenerate, and is the worse damn thing in the world, and would rather see her son miserable then become her daughter, then she is right. You may not agree, I may not agree, but it's the mother's call. You need to support her (the mother) in this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, starts the &quot;what you &lt;strong&gt;can&lt;/strong&gt; do&quot; phase. First, ALWAYS support the mom. She's the parent not you. It can be hard to do when you care about someone, but if the mom wants to send her to some &quot;horrible camp&quot; then you should go pick up brochures. That being said, in private, you can try to talk to your girlfriend, and while still being supportive,  get her to understand your point of view. Pick small battles. Try to lesson the impact.  But always be supportive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example. Hey, I know you want to send him to camp for this, but I think it's a bit more serious than that. I don't think those kinds of camps are going to work at this point. Why don't we get him to talk with a shrink that specializes in gender identity issues. Then we can see how far this really goes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you can find counseling that fits the situation. Some counselors will try to talk Emily out of it, some will try to help her down the path. Again back up mommy on this one.  Any counselor is better then a camp situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Refer to Emily as He, and use his name. Explain that until the &quot;job is done&quot;, he is still a boy. And he is expected to act/dress like one. Explain that it's his mother wish that he do so.  Try to emphasize that this undertaking is a long and hard process that will take several decades. It's not an afternoon under the knife and some pills.  Try to explain that in order to really judge if he should make this kind of change he needs to be &quot;in a good place&quot; with himself first. He needs to accept that he is a he. And that he wants to change that fact. The counselors will likely tell him the same. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most importantly, you need to take your girlfriends side. She shouldn't do abusive things like lock him in a closet or beat him with a stick. But so long as she is not being the technical definition of abusive,  then you should support her, her ideals, her decisions, and her goals in this matter. Suggest therapy. Doesn't matter what kind, anything is better then nothing right now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastEditorUserId="29709" LastEditDate="2017-10-10T14:13:38.607" LastActivityDate="2017-10-10T14:13:38.607" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27305" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-29T19:31:15.533" Score="3" ViewCount="167" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not a specific situation, but how do you help your child with the moments in which either 1. You've made a mistake, or&#xA;       2. Someone else in their life has, that affects them.&#xA;Again, not about the specifics, but as a few examples of those moments &#xA;-when you've lost your temper and regret something you've said or done&#xA;-when another significant person in their life has &#xA;-when relationships end (not romantic per se - when friendships change)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do you apologize without rehashing?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do you help children understand that things change in ways bigger than they can understand?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this is a fairly vague question, but life keeps going and we keep being human long after children. This is what no books seem to address.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24595" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T14:04:20.920" Title="The human moments - the bigger picture" Tags="|social-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27307" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-29T22:46:05.147" Score="3" ViewCount="3256" Body="&lt;p&gt;Weekend&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wakes up 7am.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Naps like a brick 1-3pm.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Asleep 8:30pm.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Weekday&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wakes up 7am.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Doesn't nap at pre-k.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Dozes off in chair at dinner.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Sleep 8:30pm.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For the last three years, my son has been taking solid 90 to 120 minute naps every day. Since September pre-k, he doesn't nap at all and is completely miserable and cranky all evening. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do we get him to nap again at pre-k? (He's always napped well all previous years in daycare.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24014" LastActivityDate="2016-10-18T04:24:09.243" Title="4 year old won't nap" Tags="|pre-schooler|naps|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27308" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27310" CreationDate="2016-09-29T22:47:54.267" Score="18" ViewCount="985" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see a lot of posts about people requiring help with their children/parents/grandparents, and I'm blessed to say that I have none of these problems. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My issue is that I was a terror as a child. I have ADHD, and I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of as an act of rebellion, but my parents have always been there for me. When I did drugs, threatened suicide, and told them I hated them. I spent THOUSANDS of their money on stupid things, and shrugged off their advice like it was nothing. Despite this, they never stopped supporting me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fast forward to now and I'm 22. I've moved out of my parents house and am in a stable relationship with a woman I love for 3 years. I've been employed for the same amount of time in a position where I'm moving up the ladder and am well received by my peers. I've been clean for 4 years, and I contribute it to the love that my parents gave to me during the extremely tough times while growing up. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They are absolutely invaluable to my life, and although I'm always saying I love them and thanking them now, I don't feel like it's enough. I spend a lot on gifts to show them how successful I've become, and taken up activities with them just so I can spend more time with them (shooting skeet with my dad, and cooking with my mom!), but it really just feels like it's insufficient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They're happy for me, but I feel awful for all of the hardship I put them through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can I tell them how much they mean to me and how I never would've gotten this far without them while helping them realize the profound effect they've had on my life?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24493" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T18:49:33.957" Title="How can I be more meaningful in my thanks to my parents?" Tags="|parents|adult-child|adhd|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27309" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27307" CreationDate="2016-09-30T00:28:52.110" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Personally I don't think you should go back to napping if it's not really what he does. Weekday routines may not be conducive to naps and naturally he may be tired and cranky in the evenings. But depending on interaction and choice of activities this may work to your advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My kids would fall asleep in cars at very inconvenient times if I didn't engage them in a way that keeps them from caving in on the fatigue behavior. So I'd play games, save certain things they like doing for evenings, etc, so they are distracted enough so that when bedtime comes around 8PM they just fall right asleep. That was a tricky ecosystem to build because their inconvenient car naps and such would mean 8PM bedtime would require a parent to lay there for hours fighting the crazy - effectively making bed time somewhere closer to 10PM - and the horror of life is fully realized.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we'd ask them to point out things as we drive, play board games and bath time, which they love, or play something like super mario brothers and this would keep them occupied enough to kind of gloss over how tired they were. Our youngest just turned 4 and she still caves in a little. Especially at dinner time, which tends to be around 6:30 or 7. That's the biggest time threat, which means playing word games with her or telling goofy stories at the table to keep her focused on anything besides being tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We were right there with you, and dinner is still challenging cause she will eat absolutely nothing if she's tired and that means she will stroll in around midnight claiming to be hungry... which basically spells doom for the rest of the night and tomorrow. So we know what you're feeling but I think phasing the naps out on weekdays was better for us and could work for you depending on what your evenings are like. Sometimes we have to work on things in the evenings so I get it if total engagement isn't an option, or is generally unrealistic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things our kids (4 and 5) like to do with us -&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;board games like operation, matching games anything related to legos&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dollhouse stories, which means playing dolls however you feel fit&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;baths&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;bike riding outside&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;jogging around the neighborhood&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;playing video games, though the 4 year old doesn't quite get it yet &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pulling them around on a blanket&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;couch forts&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;dinner time stories (like the    broccoli people adventures or&#xA;something equally insane)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They grow fast so it's probably just a phase that will be gone before you know it, but good luck. I know how hard everything is when you're exhausted from something simple like your kid sleeping off schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-09-30T00:28:52.110" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27310" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27308" CreationDate="2016-09-30T01:10:29.017" Score="23" Body="&lt;p&gt;Please let me first assure you that I'm speaking from experience here. Your post is pure music to my ears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a son who has ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder.) I had heard of ODD, but thought it was just an excuse for poor parenting, then my son started to show signs of it.  My child's therapist (he started in therapy at 12, and we started in family therapy) showed me the criteria in the DSM-IV; my son met every single criteria!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though I was also in therapy and spoke to his psychiatrist at least monthly getting coaching on how to deal with him, my son still managed to make my life (and probably his own) miserable. He was secretly getting drunk, was cheating, stealing, and failing high school, picked fights with me and his brother constantly (though we would not engage), sent his brother to the hospital with a concussion, and I became very depressed. I also thought I was the worst mother in the world. My husband refused to believe there was anything wrong with him even though the psychiatrist was telling him otherwise, and ended up leaving me. When his principal called me a few months later to tell me that they were going to kick him out of school, I had an emergency meeting with his psychiatrist. I ended up sending him to the wilderness and then a therapeutic boarding school for two years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As I said, my husband didn't believe there was anything wrong with him, and wouldn't pay for any of it. The therapeutic boarding school cost me my entire retirement account and a second mortgage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yet here comes the good news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a &lt;em&gt;lot&lt;/em&gt; of struggling and therapy, my son graduated from the boarding school with new life skills and got an academic scholarship to college, which he kept for four years. He graduated magna cum laude, went to medical school, and is now a respected doctor, has been married for several years and is expecting his first child. He turned his life around completely. And that is all the thanks I need. I'm dead serious. His life now is reward enough. He, too, has expressed sorrow, and we have a good relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My guess is that your parents feel the same. You sound like you're a wonderful son, and they must be so proud of you and the way you turned your life around. Your new life and the fact that you make an effort to spend time with them and thank them for sticking with you is most likely all the thanks they will ever need; save the gifts. You have nothing more to prove.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You feel guilty about what you put them through (which is understandable), but they have forgiven you (they have a loving relationship with you; that's the proof.) It's time now to start forgiving yourself. Until you do that, you will never feel you're doing enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Read some books and articles online about guilt and forgiveness. If you need to be concrete, show them your post. Ask your parents formally if they could forgive you for all the difficulties you caused them and get it verbally. Ask if there is anything they want you to do that will show them how sorry you are and how grateful you are for their love and support. Then cut yourself a generous amount of slack and forgive the child/adolescent that you were (that's &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; who you are anymore), and the stupid, hurtful things all children do to some extent. You couldn't control your impulses then. That doesn't make you bad; it makes you flawed, which is the human condition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Congratulations on your new life, and I hope you find self-forgiveness and freedom from guilt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24611" LastActivityDate="2016-09-30T01:10:29.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27311" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27308" CreationDate="2016-09-30T06:41:11.077" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Recognition is always a surefire sign of appreciation. If you aren't the touchy Feely conversation type that makes saying it that much more sincere.  Say it. Hand write a thank you note. Mom's love that sentimental junk.  Continue to be there for them as they age.  Continue to spend quality time with them.  They obviously did a good job with you.  Give them grandchildren when the time is right.  Parents love babies that they can spoil. Most importantly, don't take them or your time with for granted.   So sappy.  Gah!  congratulations on manning up.  Sounds like you're adulting.  I'm positive that is all they really wanted from you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24356" LastActivityDate="2016-09-30T06:41:11.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27312" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26451" CreationDate="2016-09-30T07:00:47.033" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree. It is much faster and easier to get milk from a bottle than from the breast.  Remember nursing is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/breastfeeding/art-20048312&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;demand and supply.&lt;/a&gt;   The more you supplement with a bottle the &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com/hot-topics/low-supply/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;less supply your wife will have&lt;/a&gt; (unless she is aggressively pumping) because the baby saliva provides feedback to mom via the nipple and the suction stimulates production.  It's a vicious cycle.  I say throw out the formula now!  It is quite literally what nature intended. It is very unlikely that the baby needed supplementing anyway. It is a common misconception that frequent feeding means you aren't producing enough.  That's totally normal!  Latching on for 45 mins then sleeping for 15 and waking up wanting to nurse again is normal.  I highly recommend &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ameda.com/breastfeeding/positioning-and-latching-on/positioning&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;side lying&lt;/a&gt; to nurse.  I chose to cosleep with both of my babies.  They both nursed to sleep.  Neither used a pacifier.  A pacifier is  literally a fake nipple. Why not use the real thing?  Cant lose them under the couch!  But &lt;strong&gt;if it works for your family, go for it&lt;/strong&gt;.  I agree with @anongoodnurse about nipple confusion is more likely due to bottle use being easier.   &lt;a href=&quot;http://kellymom.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This amazing site&lt;/a&gt; is the holy grail of breastfeeding.  If you google &quot;kellymom breastfeeding and night waking&quot;  or &quot;kellymom nipple confusion&quot;  you will get a list of article titles that will provide some great info.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Way to be a supportive partner!  I have breastfed for 4 beautiful years and I bet my husband has never asked a single question about breastfeeding.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.llli.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;le letche&lt;/a&gt; league nearby or a breastfeeding support group.  The greatest thing i ever did was meet up regularly with other women who i could ask all the strange questions like what is this white blister thing on my nip?  And &quot;omg she wont stop playing with my other nipple while she nurses!    (Answers: a bleb, and to stimulate letdown.  Strange, annoying but normal)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24356" LastEditorUserId="24356" LastEditDate="2016-10-02T02:09:57.660" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T02:09:57.660" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27313" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27305" CreationDate="2016-09-30T09:34:44.223" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Explain what your mistake was and why it was a mistake, apologize, and promise to do better in the future, just like you would with an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-30T09:34:44.223" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27315" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27300" CreationDate="2016-09-30T10:12:42.140" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would would make two changes to your approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you and your husband need to parent as a team.  You need to coordinate on your general strategy in situations like the sticker situation - either you let the kid take things he might lose, and then let him learn that he loses things sometimes if he takes them, or you proactively keep him from taking things that he might lose - but don't wait until the situation comes up and argue back and forth in the kid's presence.  One thing that might help would be to make it clear which parent is in immediate charge of the child in each situation, then give that parent authority to make the detailed decisions in line with the approach you've generally agreed on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you need to recognize that the parents' job includes both protection and support, and also preparation for the child to live more independently as the child gets older.  Parental teasing is okay as long as it's friendly and helps the child learn coping strategies, but it's not okay if the child protests or breaks down in tears - the child needs to know that the parents support him and are a source of safety, not stress.  If your furniture has unusually sharp edges, they should be protected or you should get different furniture, but normal square edges on finished wooden furniture the child needs to get used to, and that will involve some bumps and bruises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mostly you and your husband need to discuss these things and agree on general guidelines.  It can be difficult to find time to talk with a kid around, so get a babysitter sometimes and go out and talk with just your husband on these issues.  And realize that both of you are going to have to make compromises to your preferred approaches - you're going to have to give in sometimes too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-30T10:12:42.140" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27316" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27307" CreationDate="2016-09-30T10:18:48.970" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Talk to the pre-K about it.  Sometimes if they're aware of the issues they can change things on their end, like turning down the lights during nap time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, there's a good chance they won't change, in which case you either have to move to a different pre-K or adjust your schedule, such as by giving him an earlier dinner and bedtime or getting him up later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At 4, your kid probably won't be napping that much longer anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-09-30T10:18:48.970" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27317" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27208" CreationDate="2016-09-30T10:47:04.413" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You should definitely say something to your daughter and then your wife.it's not healthy to have to hide an essential aspect of who you are.I believe you love her deeply which means her sexual orientation has to be out in the open because while not condemning her you will have to treat her differently. An example: before you knew she was gay would you have allowed a boy to have a sleepover with her. I don't think so. In the current situation her having other girls in her room all night could lead to, well you get my drift. It changes the family dynamics but that doesn't mean you have a problem with her sexual orientation. The home life will most likely become much more stable and the atmosphere happier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24616" LastActivityDate="2016-09-30T10:47:04.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27318" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26972" CreationDate="2016-09-30T11:34:12.170" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I like the answer of Beofett and want to extend on it. My advise would be:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Let your daughter pick the right time.&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do I mean by that? The concept of a ceremonial burial is an important human achievement and helps to deal with the concept of death. By ceremonial burial I also mean for example ritualistic gatherings (for example &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead&lt;/a&gt;) apart from the funeral. Of course maybe such things are not part of your culture. My advise would be (with such an important death in your family) to pick up such a ritualistic event in some way (you do not have to be religious do such thing). But first I will tell you about how I myself was raised to emphasis more on my perspective.   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I happened to grew up in a big family (with lots of old people). So funeral as a child were quite a common event. Due to this exposure question about death will naturally appear. Note that for us as children I did also involve playtime with other cousins. So in retroperspective I cannot really separate them from other family events.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was also the Totensonntag (Sunday of the dead &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Totensonntag&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Totensonntag&lt;/a&gt;). On that they my family normally went to the graveyard and talked about the dead members of our family. (I like the idea of such a generic event) On such a day your daughter would hear about her first mother (and your first wife). Depending on what is said and her age she would already understand or could decide to ask further questions. Or maybe she is to young and not interested, but would be at least exposed to the concept of death. All this will help to perceive death as something which is an inevitable  part of life (we will all die on day). And also that it is normal to be sad about that someone has died.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So nowadays (as my wife and I are not religious), we would have a picnic or lunch (depending on the weather see also ) on such a day with other family members and visit the graveyard. We would including remembering the dead, but normally it we would not stick to it and conversation would evolve to the other family members life. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But maybe it is only you and daughter left with a connection to your first wife (and there is also no other funerals in your family) or other reason not to involve other family member. You could still take her to a trip to the graveyard.. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(if you did not go yourself for a long time you maybe want to go first alone to be more secure about how strong your emotions are)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(if there is no grave I am sure you can come up with something similar (take a picture of your first wife with you))&lt;/em&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;..and do something there (bring flowers, have a picnic, draw some pictures). You do not really have to tell your daughter anything (It can be just some time for father and daughter), but do not hide if you are sad and if she ask questions be prepared. Also at some point you may or may not bring your new wife with you.  If you do this regularly (for example every few months), I am sure it will help you (and your daughter) to make peace with the death of your first wife (and mother).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24620" LastEditorUserId="24620" LastEditDate="2016-09-30T11:43:18.323" LastActivityDate="2016-09-30T11:43:18.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27320" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="11515" CreationDate="2016-09-30T17:46:04.837" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have been dealing with this problem for over a year now and I have finally found out that there are a handful of manufacturers that supply the generic of Orapred.  It tastes soooooooo good its hard to believe that the other one is still being used.  My 3 year old began to vomit the prednisolone that we have been recently giving her and I couldnt figure out why until I looked at her prescription history chart and realized that it was a different manufactuer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mortan Grove Pharmaceuticals offers a generic form of prednisolone that has a palatable taste.  Hope this helps!  Now my daughter has no problem taking her meds! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24627" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2016-10-02T16:24:20.370" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T16:24:20.370" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27321" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-09-30T19:32:19.987" Score="6" ViewCount="929" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is underweight to begin with.  He has been treated in the past for a disorder impacting his eating (apraxia), in particular in chewing his food, especially certain kinds of meat so he can be a slow eater at times.  Now that he is in kindergarten, he never finishes his lunch.  Sometimes the whole lunch comes home, sometimes he has just taken a few bites.  We have mentioned it to his teacher who said they would inform the lunchroom monitors, but that really does not seem to help the situation.  What can we do to help him eat more?  We aren't sure if too little time to eat is part of the problem or if he is interacting with his classmates instead of eating, but his teacher has observed him still chewing food when he return to class after lunch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3069" LastActivityDate="2016-12-21T20:21:11.273" Title="How can I address my kindergarten son not eating at lunch?" Tags="|primary-schooler|eating|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27322" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27321" CreationDate="2016-09-30T22:28:43.937" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note: I am not a doctor, nor am I your doctor; please read the note at the last paragraph regarding the medical issue you mention.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking for an average kindergartner, it is &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; common for them to not eat almost at all at lunch.  My kindergartner, who is an extremely voracious eater, eats nearly none of his lunch, either.  This is for two reasons:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Proximity of snack to lunch.  His schedule is 7am breakfast, 9:30am snack, 11:30am lunch.  He eats a big breakfast, and typically eats his entire snack (a fruit or cheese stick or similar, not a lot of food but enough), and so is just not particularly hungry at 11:30.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Desire to interact socially (either talking to friends, or going outside and playing).  Often there is a limited period for eating and playing, say 45 minutes total, and he wants to do as much playing and as little eating as he can.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion would be to take this in a few different directions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give a snack that is as nutrient and calorie dense as possible, if you have home-provided snacks.  If necessary, bring up the medical issue and use that as excuse to get permission to give him a bar or something else that will be more nutritive than the options the school may allow (ours for example has very poor options allowed, unfortunately, due to allergy concerns). We find that at our kindergarten, snack is almost always consumed by all kids in its entirety but not lunch.  Note that nuts are an excellent choice for nutrient-dense food, but likely excluded; something like beef jerky or similar may be a good choice also.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Give smaller amounts of nutrient-dense foods for lunch.  Things that he enjoys, but are also good, and are easy to eat while socializing.  He's going to socialize, and you won't win that battle - so give him things that work with that.  Hard boiled eggs that are already peeled for example. Tuna salad that he can eat with a spoon.  Things like that with a good nutrient balance and calorie level that are as easy as possible to eat while talking, and don't take very much chewing.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Expect to feed him again at 3:30 or whenever his kindergarten is done for the day.  If he has after-school care, send a second lunch for that with him.  Odds are he hasn't eaten much from 9:30 to 3:30, if he didn't eat his lunch, so he'll be hungry.  This is often when we get our kindergartner to eat - sometimes we just open up his lunch from Kindergarten and he eats the leftovers after pickup.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the medical side of things, I strongly recommend talking to your pediatrician about this, including if you choose to do something like I recommend above.  We're not really equipped here to handle medical questions, though perhaps others will have had experience with this specific issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastEditorUserId="6524" LastEditDate="2016-12-21T18:36:08.617" LastActivityDate="2016-12-21T18:36:08.617" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27325" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-01T01:38:42.923" Score="1" ViewCount="355" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 year old granddaughter was fully potty trained. Her father recently moved back to the same state and her parents are not together. She stays dry but now won't use the bathroom for B.M.'s. I feel that it is emotional upset for her but not sure if should wait it out and be patient or if counseling is best. Any one have similar experiences?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24637" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2016-10-02T16:24:28.450" LastActivityDate="2016-12-31T18:41:27.503" Title="Potty training set back after estranged father returns" Tags="|pre-schooler|potty-training|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27326" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27325" CreationDate="2016-10-01T08:19:15.213" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Need more info.  Is she refusing or constipated?  Is she uncomfortable? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;100% apple juice would be my first course of action either way just to help get things moving.  Then move on from there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is her tummy hurting, visibly bloated or tender to touch? These are signs of constipation and apple, prune, pear juice is sometimes helpful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you know that she is withholding &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-do-you-get-a-toddler-to-stop-withholding-bowel-movements_11132268_383.bc&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;this link&lt;/a&gt; will take you to a similar post. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;what i first assumed was withholding, but after reading your question again, it also sounds as though she could be having accidents.  Whatever you do, don't make a big deal of it.  Don't get upset about it, but show concern and talk about it with her.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://aboutkidsgi.org/childhood-defecation-disorders/non-retentive-fecal-incontinence.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Non-retentive fecal incontinence &lt;/a&gt;  (medical term if you want to search for more info) or having BMs in underwear is common too and can be caused by emotional distress as you have described. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter the cause i highly recommend play therapy because of the parental situation. This therapy, specific to young children, is covered by most insurances and every therapist I've ever spoken to would work with a concerned parent if finances are an issue.  I would try to go 3 times the first week to get her comfortable with the therapist and location and to give the therapist something to assess. The longer she goes the more familiar the therapist becomes and is able to detect emotional irregularities.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Play therapy places the child in a room with toys chosen deliberately and the therapist watches what and how the child chooses  to play. The therapist interacts very little with the child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24356" LastEditorUserId="24356" LastEditDate="2016-10-02T02:56:18.917" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T02:56:18.917" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27327" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27305" CreationDate="2016-10-01T11:55:15.213" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;For this, I use the mnemonic &lt;strong&gt;RAAP&lt;/strong&gt;: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Recognize&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recognize what you could and will do differently. It is much more encouraging to focus on what you can change, the possibilities of new choices,  and the outcomes  you can design with new actions &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Admit&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is about admitting to what you recognized &quot;I admit that yelling wasn't the way to communicate respectfully&quot;, for example. Don't get wrapped up in self pity. Acknowledgement is more appropriate.  Blame keeps you stuck.  See things for how they are,  not worse, just see them for how they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Apologize&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;I see, (or I feel) I could've done, acted, spoken, responded (whatever is appropriate) another way, and I am sorry for how my actions, words, etc. affected you, hurt you etc. I PROMISE TO BE AWARE AND ACT DIFFERENTLY THE NEXT TIME I AM IN THIS SITUATION.&quot; (The apology has to come with commitment and a promise.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Plan&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;So this is my plan to do differently... The next time I will stop and walk away until we can both speak respectfully&quot; or &quot;the next time I will write you a note that tells you how I feel, and you can read it as soon as you are ready&quot; or, &quot;I will bring up the issue at the next family meeting&quot; or any way you will act differently. This isn't about what you will make someone else do, but about what you will do differently. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best to You and your family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23895" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-10-03T14:04:20.920" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T14:04:20.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27328" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27296" CreationDate="2016-10-01T19:46:22.873" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can be rather difficult for a parent to address a problem that arises in school, and even more so when the child is quite young and may not be able to describe what is occurring at school, and how s/he is experiencing school.  If you have time to do a little fly-on-the-wall observing of your child's functioning in school, that might be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general it would probably be a good idea to thank the teacher for letting you know what's going on, show an attitude of support, and more specifically, say whether or not you have ever observed the particular behavior yourself, or have heard reports of this behavior when your child has been in other settings.  Be honest, and avoid getting on the defensive.  Do show that you are taking the information seriously and will give it careful thought.  The calm tone you used in your question is just right.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two incidents might or might not point to an actual problem.  If you feel there is enough of a pattern, or if you sense that the teacher is at the frustration point, but is feeling kind of stuck about where to go from here, you could try the following:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask for a functional behavioral analysis.  This could be done by, for example, the school social worker.  The idea is to see what contexts this behavior is mostly likely to arise in, and if there is any pattern to the antecedents.  Understanding what may be triggering the behavior can be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask that the school occupational therapist (OT) do a consult.  The OT can provide insight about the child's sensory processing patterns that may be affecting behavior in school.  Also, the OT can provide sensory equipment, such as a bouncy chair, fidget items, etc., that can provide sensory stimulation the child may be seeking, but without causing any harm to anyone.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep your child's primary care provider in the loop.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is sometimes helpful to offer things like raw carrots, chewable fidgets, frozen sensory items, etc.  In the short term (as in this coming Monday), while you're waiting for the other things to fall into place, you could try sending a couple of things to school with your child, and emailing the teacher to let him or her know what you are sending in, and why.  For example: there are special erasers that can be put on the end of a pencil that are designed for children to chew on.  You can pick up a couple of freezable teething rings in different colors at the drug store, that don't look like teething rings, in the shape of a hand or foot.  If you send in two, each in its own baggie, one can be kept in the nurse's freezer, and they can be swapped out as needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you offer these items to your child in a neutral tone, after trying them out at home, e.g. &quot;I'm putting two frozen feet in your school bag, in case you feel like chewing on them during school.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to get a feel, from the other parents, whether having a conversation with the principal might be helpful.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer is based on my experience working with my child's school to support positive behaviors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is an article that might be helpful: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/bothersome-behaviors/biting-and-hitting-16-ways-stop-it&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/bothersome-behaviors/biting-and-hitting-16-ways-stop-it&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-10-01T19:58:02.933" LastActivityDate="2016-10-01T19:58:02.933" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27329" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-02T02:46:43.500" Score="3" ViewCount="944" Body="&lt;p&gt;When angry, my 2-year-old granddaughter clenches her teeth, bites or pinches. Are these normal behaviors?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24647" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-12T18:35:01.060" LastActivityDate="2018-11-12T18:35:01.060" Title="Is clenching teeth normal for a toddler when they are angry?" Tags="|toddler|behavior|anger|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27330" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27329" CreationDate="2016-10-02T03:40:21.950" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My three kids all clawed and occasionally bit when angry as toddlers.  One gritted his teeth.  None pinched, but frankly I'd have preferred pinches to clawing.  I'd say what you're describing is within the normal range.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At age 2, biting can be reduced a bit by making sure they have carrots and the like to chew on when teething.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T03:40:21.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27337" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27321" CreationDate="2016-10-02T10:17:48.787" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Thanks for asking! I have personal experience with this.  @Joe gave some relevant advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I used to regularly refuse to eat at school starting from kindergarten extending well into my teens.  Like @Joe's child, I have had a very robust appetite my entire life and in spite of my refusing to eat at school, have always maintained a healthy weight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It wasn't until well into adulthood that I learned that I have Asperger's Syndrome.  Like many others with Asperger's, I had some odd routines and habits about eating that I absolutely refused to budge from, habits that still stay with me.  Some of these habits include an inability to have an appetite while seeing certain colors and patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, I found the school environment an overwhelming environment where I had no appetite at all, especially for school food.  My parents and teachers chastised me for this all my life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not understanding what was going on, my parents and teachers did the only thing they seemed to know to do.  They tried to change my behavior by shaming and humiliating me.  My father made some &quot;tough love&quot; suggestions such as allowing me to &quot;starve&quot; should I refuse to eat at school and then ask to be fed immediately after the school day ended.  He also suggested that if I found certain colors and patterns offensive to my senses, perhaps I should be forced to wear only clothes with the offensive patterns until they ceased to be offensive.  (Refusing to wear certain clothes was another habit that drew the ire of my parents.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'll tell you that if my parents and teachers had honestly asked me why I wasn't eating without putting fear or shame in the way, I could have told them.  May I suggest to you that your child likely also knows why he is not eating, even if his reason is completely different from mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that your child will likely reveal the answer to you if you can pose the question to him and make it absolutely clear to him that he shall receive love and empathy from you for his answer rather than derision and scorn under the guise of &quot;tough love&quot;.  Unfortunately, this may be a thing that you really have to work hard at for a while, perhaps years even.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T10:17:48.787" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27338" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27300" CreationDate="2016-10-02T12:38:41.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is probably more room for common ground than you think, if you can both step back and analyze situations rationally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I find it funny that your husband wanted to let your child learn about furniture corners the hard way, but wanted to protect your child from losing some stickers. Losing stickers would be no big deal for adults, and a lifelong lesson for a child. &quot;Daddy thinks it is a bad idea to take the stickers out of the house, because he thinks they could easily get lost, and then you might be unhappy. If you leave them here, they'll still be here when we get home. If you lose them, we're not buying you another. What do you think?&quot; Let the child decide, and whatever happens, happens. But don't overrule the other parent unilaterally.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teasing is inappropriate when done by kids to other kids. It's even worse when done by adults to kids, due to the power imbalance. Setting a bad example would teach your child to disrespect you and other kids. Please tell him to cut it out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(One narrow exception: If you live in a very rough neighborhood, then toughening up might be a survival skill. But that would be one of the unfortunate costs of being poor, where disadvantages pile up.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;He does have a point (no pun intended) that pain is a useful feedback mechanism that exists for a reason. The danger from furniture is on a different scale than the danger from, say, kitchen knives. Why are you &quot;totally speechless&quot;? That reaction deserves some self-examination.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you think you can handle the bedtime routine better, then that would be a win-win-win situation. &quot;See, daddy has already bathed and brushed his teeth.  I'm going to do your bath now, while daddy relaxes with some gaming before he goes to bed.&quot; If your gentle method works, then everyone wins! But if it doesn't, then prepare to be equally strict about getting it done, else you will lose credibility with both your husband and your son.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Gaming can be OK, and can even be &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201502/cognitive-benefits-playing-video-games&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;beneficial&lt;/a&gt; in developing &lt;a href=&quot;http://blog.ted.com/7-talks-on-the-benefits-of-gaming/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;hand-eye coordination and reflexes&lt;/a&gt;. Some modern game systems involve more physical activity than pressing buttons on a controller. Make sure it's age-appropriate and time-limited.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2483" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2016-10-02T12:53:36.843" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T12:53:36.843" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27340" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5506" CreationDate="2016-10-02T18:02:26.690" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately for many parents, their children do not become the people we want them to be. If your child is so dead set on making poor life decision my feelings would be simply to let her (after she has left the house off course).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that may sound callous but certain children just have to get a dose of reality on there own. You can try to persuade them to do the things you know are right but unfortunately they will only learn by going trough hardship themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know we want to do the best for our children. We want to provide them with the things we ourselves did not have as children, the oppurtunities we never had.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child is going on a different path. Call it a late bloomer, call it just plain lazy, call it whatever. Your child is going to have to find her own way in the world and unfortunately it may simply take her until she is 30 before she figures it all out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that in mind, one thing that I would tell you should take really seriously is to make sure you do not perpetuate or enable your child's bad behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your child wastes too much time on social media then maybe you should really consider revoking these privileges. Take away the computer and the cell phone. A person does not own these things to their children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You sound like a person who wants to provide the nice things for your child and boy does it look like your child is taking advantage of your good nature.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You simply have to take a stand, your child needs parents and unfortunately that means making decisions that are sometimes very unpopular with your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know much of this answer may sound petty or even cruel but I know this girl of yours personally because up until three years ago I was her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did exactly the same things you describe as child. I even flunked out of High School and was only 19 when I got my &lt;em&gt;Matriek&lt;/em&gt; the first time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm 27 now and I have found my passion and next year I will start a UNI degree in musicology so I can become a music teacher just like my mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child will have to find her own place in the world and it may not quite fit in to your schedule.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17171" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T18:02:26.690" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27341" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27342" CreationDate="2016-10-02T20:28:15.413" Score="1" ViewCount="8427" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it ok for two year old to occasionally sip on a chai latte? Or should it be avoided altogether because of the caffeine?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9263" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T04:40:48.133" Title="Chai tea latte ok for toddler?" Tags="|toddler|drinking|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27342" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27341" CreationDate="2016-10-02T20:50:58.013" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children should avoid caffeine for as long as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Chai Tea Latte contains plenty of caffeine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it also contains added sugar, which is another good reason to avoid it. For example, a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.starbucks.com/menu/drinks/tea/chai-latte&quot;&gt;16oz chai tea latte from Starbucks contains 42g of sugars&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-10-02T20:50:58.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27347" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21076" CreationDate="2016-10-03T06:55:51.557" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you know she is &quot;right on the border of losing control&quot;?  Has she lost control and been violent toward you?  If not, you don't really know; some people who yell or even throw things are still well within control, and some people who keep their frustration bottled up can be more likely to break out into violence unexpectedly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For what it's worth, I grew up in a household where my mother tended to yell a lot.  In arguments with my father she would occasionally throw dishes on the floor and break them.  She might have tried to hit him once or twice, unsuccessfully since he was much bigger and quicker.  With my brother and me, she limited herself to the yelling.  We got used to it and ignored it, and it did no emotional damage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you mention a correlation with being hungry, you may be able occasionally to suggest that she have a bite to eat when this starts happening - or even when it hasn't yet.  It will help if she recognizes the correlation with hunger.  You might also suggest that she check with a doctor regarding possible hypoglycemia, metabolic syndrome, or diabetes, which can lead to irregular blood sugar levels that might be contributing to the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my mother, I am pretty sure the dish breaking occurred in arguments when she was convinced my father was not listening to her.  Your situation may not be similar in this respect, but if and when the yelling is in the context of an argument, you could try listening carefully and doing your best to understand her point of view, even if that's difficult in the heat of the moment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T06:55:51.557" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27348" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27305" CreationDate="2016-10-03T09:02:48.087" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see at least two questions hiding in this one, since it covers several different kinds of situations, so I will try to tackle them separately.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First is the question of what you do when &lt;strong&gt;you&lt;/strong&gt; have made a mistake that affects your child. I would say that the appropriate course would be to point out what was exactly wrong in your behaviour and why (depending on the age, you can try to elicit the answer from the child first) and to apologise accordingly. When you do this, I think it is a good idea to identify the feelings that led to the situation as well as the feelings that resulted (on both sides) from the situation. This way you are turning something a bad event into a learning experience that will help your child (and maybe you) and increase their emotional intelligence. It will also present them with appropriate course of action for when they do something bad or hurtful.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if &lt;strong&gt;someone else&lt;/strong&gt; did something that had (what you perceive as) an adverse effect on your child, maybe it is better to ask for the child's perspective first. Ask them how they feel and what they think has happened. As adults, sometimes we forget that children tend to find explanations for anything happens around them. We might find those explanations &quot;wrong&quot;, &quot;childish&quot;, &quot;misguided&quot; or at least incomplete, but as soon as their verbal skills develop sufficiently, they start finding ways to explain phenomena around them, both social and natural. So, instead of trying to &quot;help children understand that things change in ways bigger than they can understand&quot;, you should work together with them to forge an understanding of an event that suits their level of development (no matter how &quot;childish&quot; it may seem). The one thing I hated being told as a kid was &quot;you will understand such-and-such when you get older&quot;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;In your example, &lt;em&gt;a change in friendship&lt;/em&gt; is something that already falls within the scope of experience of a typical five-year-old. In their case  it might have been about something we find trivial, like another kid from preschool who would not share a toy, but the feelings and experience they get out of this situation are real and this can form a basis for their understanding of a similar situation between grown-ups. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18978" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T09:02:48.087" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27349" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21448" CreationDate="2016-10-03T11:14:55.280" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you love your sister and care about her, please make her understand that she needs to be present when you break the news to your niece.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your niece needs to know that this is an act of desperation, not of ignorance. If your sister can not handle that then ask her to write your niece a letter which you can read with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you make her the offer to stay with you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24664" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T11:14:55.280" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27350" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27356" CreationDate="2016-10-03T12:51:10.343" Score="7" ViewCount="955" Body="&lt;p&gt;My boy is on the spectrum, he needs a &lt;a href=&quot;http://themadmommy.com/2014/06/sensory-in-a-bottle.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;sensory calm down bottle/jar&lt;/a&gt;. I have tried a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.amazon.co.uk/Liquid-Showers-Sensory-Calming-Timer/dp/B00L5F53D8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1475498861&amp;amp;sr=8-1&amp;amp;keywords=Liquid%20Showers%20Sensory%20Calming%20Timer&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;ready made one&lt;/a&gt; but he broke that in no time as he loves to bash it on the floor in order for the glitter to mix.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have tried regular water bottles but he loves to open the lid and pour the water on the floor, also the plastic breaks easily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any idea if there is a heavy duty see-through bottles that I can use for similar conditions?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ocLEu.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/ocLEu.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;enter image description here&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastEditorUserId="6483" LastEditDate="2016-10-04T11:11:36.283" LastActivityDate="2016-10-04T11:11:36.283" Title="What kind of bottle can I use to make a heavy duty sensory calm down bottle?" Tags="|autism|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27351" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4162" CreationDate="2016-10-03T13:43:55.097" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;First there may be legal age requirements. Those should really be listened to. Often times they are &quot;way higher&quot; then some of the advise I am about to give. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Start small. A ten minuet run to the gas station to get snacks, or similar. Usually you can do this when the child has a good grasp of &quot;what to do&quot; at home. If she is thirsty, can she get a drink. Does she know what parts of the home to go into and which parts to stay out of. You would really want the child to be past the &quot;explore around the house&quot; phase. They should be able to find and use the phone, and know when and when not to call for help. They should be able to know where to get their toys and where and how to play with them. They should be able to tell what toys are only for when Mommy is around and what toys are ok all the time. Siblings also play an important role. 2 or 3 kids with an older kid is safer then 1 young kid. You can (and in my opinion should)  so this pretty young. It will depend on child, but 5-7 years old seems ok. Remember, there are no hard and fast rules, and you still want to let a neighbor friend know. The idea is that the child should be left alone to gain a bit of independence, but not long enough that they are likely to get into any bigger trouble then a large mess in the house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A half hour trip to a friends house. In addition to whats listed above, once they are comfortable with the 10 min. alone time, you can start with a longer 30 min. trip. Probably want to stay close for this one. Like, visit with a neighbor. The idea here is to extend the time your out of the house. 30 mins is enough time to get into some trouble though, so stay close.  Really this is going to be when the child is comfortable at home for short periods, and your comfortable that he knows when to get drinks, and what drinks to get. i.e. Get  a juice box instead of pour milk.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1 - 2 hours. Now this is where it gets tricky. The child needs to be old enough to know when to get food and drinks and what food and drinks to get. Maybe prepared snack is fine, but cooking dinner is not.  When to use a phone and who to call. They also need to have good stranger skills and know the difference between a friendly neighbor and a regular neighbor.  They should be able to handle some household chores, and have a good idea about what needs to be done. It's going to be a comfort thing again, but 10-14 may be ok. I would personally end up on the high side, but &quot;when I was a kid&quot; I think I was in the 1-2 hour phase at around 7.  Remember, the two main things here are, can they handle problems, like spilled milk. And are they able to reason out what to do when they have a problem they can't handle. When is it good to call 911 and when is a good time to call Mom and Dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4 or more hours. Teens. That's the real answer. More then a couple of hours means the ability to handle almost all the day to day tasks of the house. To be able to figure out what to do when there is nothing to do, and to understand the risks of not doing those things. Rather that is 13 or 17 is a tough call, but the teen should be able to actually handle common household issues with the same thought process as you. Toilet, backs up, can they plunge it. Cooking fire, do they know to reach for the baking soda? Etc. etc.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Days. Umm, never? Seriously, though, there is no are for this one. It's older, but because it's older you have to weigh the risk of parties, sex, and other activities against the individual and trust. Basically can you trust the person enough to handle adult situations well enough. Everyone will have to handle this on a case by case basis. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Note about ages&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A lot of this depends on comfort levels. &quot;When I was a kid&quot;  sucks as a measurement these days. When I was a kid I was left alone for a couple of hours when I was around 7. But I lived in a neighborhood where I knew my neighbors across the street. I knew them right up until they passed a few years ago actually. People don't do that any more in most places. But at the same time, cell phones didn't exist, and nothing like FaceTime or google video where around. So keep in mind some kids will be OK alone for a lot longer at a younger age then others. Some kids will never be ok with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T13:43:55.097" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27353" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-03T14:43:49.510" Score="5" ViewCount="447" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Background&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My 5 year-old god-son recently revealed to me that he likes to help others, and in particular, when I gave him some money to buy himself a treat, he wanted to give the leftover money to the store to be nice and help out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Naturally, I want to encourage charitable notions, but I want to explain to him that the store might not be the right recipient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other ideas might be animal shelters, WWF, or the many organizations aiming to feed people in third world countries.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How can I introduce him to more appropriate charitable cases, without potentially exposing him to too many of the harsh realities of the world?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11660" LastActivityDate="2017-11-29T02:12:39.943" Title="5 year-old is feeling charitable, but how do I help with direction?" Tags="|pre-schooler|money|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27354" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27350" CreationDate="2016-10-03T15:23:13.753" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My best suggestion is an &quot;unbreakable&quot; plastic (reusable) water bottle.  These can be either rigid or somewhat flexible.  Rigid will probably last longer, but it really depends on how hard your son can hit.  Very good quality ones should last through fairly significant damage, though, and the lid can be superglued as Drew notes in comments to the question.  Perhaps a less rigid one would actually work for you, though - a Nalgene type - and less rigidity might make for a more enjoyable sensation for him when hitting it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A bit more risky would be a glass bottle coated in silicone or in plastic.  That would keep the glass shards from being a danger, at least I think it would - hence the risk... they do when dropped, but unclear what an aggressive child would do to them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T15:23:13.753" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27355" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27353" CreationDate="2016-10-03T15:27:02.497" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that you stick to something that makes sense to him and he can empathize with.  Donate toys to a local children's home or women's shelter might be the best example; somewhere he can actually &lt;em&gt;go&lt;/em&gt; and see the children he's helping.  That would help reinforce the behavior, as he'd have positive feelings associated with giving not just from your encouragement but from seeing other children enjoy the toys he's given them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do check with the shelter first, of course, to see what they prefer; they may have a list of things that they would find helpful, for example.  They might also find money most helpful, but you could still point out the things that they're buying that his money is going towards in part.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T15:27:02.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27356" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27350" CreationDate="2016-10-03T19:05:15.780" Score="7" Body="&lt;h2&gt;Try PET preforms&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/hbquu.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/hbquu.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Pet preforms for typical 5L bottles&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/6WJus.jpg&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/6WJus.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Preforms and actual bottles&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These things get inflated like baloons to produce PET bottles we usually see. They're food-safe, transparent, pretty heavy-duty and cheap. You can order them in surplus to experiment a bit and also make some spares.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Use bouncy coating&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Adding some soft stuff to ends will reduce damage to both bottle and terrain. You could also leave a tiny bubble of air inside - or even add some ridges/pimples on inner surface to imitate insides of a muffler if you think that &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_hammer&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;water hammer&lt;/a&gt; adds to bottle's wear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24670" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T19:05:15.780" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27357" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-03T19:57:52.147" Score="1" ViewCount="3241" Body="&lt;p&gt;Standard formula advice tends to say something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;ol&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Fill the kettle with at least 1 litre of fresh tap water (don’t use water that has been boiled before).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;Boil the water. Then leave the water to cool for no more than 30 minutes, so that it remains at a temperature of at least 70C. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;li&gt;...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;  &lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Source: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/making-up-infant-formula.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;NHS&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am aware that you need to put the formula powder into the water when it is at least 70C so that any bacteria in the formula will be killed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But is there a maximum temperature?  Is it OK to mix the formula immediately after the kettle has boiled?  Should I wait until the temperature has dropped below 90C?  80C?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've failed to find any advice about this.  (Also, why is it 1 litre when I'm only making 200ml of formula?)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24672" LastEditorUserId="16360" LastEditDate="2016-12-19T19:26:21.900" LastActivityDate="2016-12-19T19:26:21.900" Title="Is there a maximum temperature for mixing formula?" Tags="|infant|food|formula|milk|temperatures|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27358" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27353" CreationDate="2016-10-03T21:30:05.903" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest something far more charitable, that actually requires some effort on his part.  You can help a neighbor plant their garden or mow their lawn, bake some cookies for them, etc.  You could even go inside the walls of your own home, and help him do a chore that is normally done by a sibling or parent.  I like to define charity much like Emerson:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me. Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the farmer, corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; the painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing. This is right and pleasing, for it restores society in so far to the primary basis, when a man’s biography is conveyed in his gift, and every man’s wealth is an index of his merit. 4 But it is a cold lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy me something which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith’s.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teaching him to truly serve others will serve him well the future.  Too often in today's culture we associate giving money with charity, when that is only a very small part.    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14415" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T21:30:05.903" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27359" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27353" CreationDate="2016-10-03T22:07:48.920" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Does he have siblings or friends?  One possibility is to suggest that he save the money for gifts for people he knows.  This could also help build his social network; it never hurts to be known as a generous person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-03T22:07:48.920" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27364" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20836" CreationDate="2016-10-04T19:57:49.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't help but wonder if - based on the change in behavior - something happened to cause it? Your post contains a lot of information about you talking to your son, but not a lot of information about your son talking to you. Do you have any reason why your son might not like him? I'm talking about a reason beyond &quot;being loud&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honestly a couple of solo therapy sessions for your son and then a few together might really help, plus he could have someone uninvolved in the situation to talk to. I'd just be concerned that the real reason for the change in behavior might be something that you have no idea about and the sooner you get to the bottom of it, the better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24682" LastActivityDate="2016-10-04T19:57:49.330" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27369" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-05T12:29:25.960" Score="4" ViewCount="402" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have a 2.5 year-old toddler. He is normally an active and energetic kid. He made friends with neighborhood kids. When ever he sees the other toddlers he gets fully excited and charged-up and he will do the below things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Run fast to the kids and tries to hug them. Some times it hurts other kids and scares them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes he will play the games that hurts others. Run and collide into them with his head. Jumping, jump and sit with out awareness of where they are.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Normally he used to listen to us and comply our instructions. But when he gets excited he will not listen to us and will continue to do these things.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is very difficult and impossible for us to calm him down and bring normal status and normal behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What are different approaches that I can take to calm him down?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7474" LastEditorUserId="24049" LastEditDate="2016-10-11T12:54:17.450" LastActivityDate="2016-10-12T05:59:34.187" Title="How to calm down a fully excited and fully charged toddler?" Tags="|toddler|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27370" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-05T14:13:30.777" Score="0" ViewCount="459" Body="&lt;p&gt;My fiancé's nephew is 4 years old. He refuses to show respect and manners to adult figures; he constantly cusses (his favorite word is &quot;wtf bitch&quot;, and he says it to me only.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He also constantly hurts animals by pulling their ears and tails so hard they try to bite him. The dog has &lt;strong&gt;never&lt;/strong&gt; bitten anyone before (she's a very good dog) and he chokes our other dog, when he hugs him. I've repeatedly told him not to treat animals like that. I've explained why he shouldn't, but he just smiles and does it again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I discipline him, he just throws a fit and screams. He acts out in public. His fits are ungodly and I spank him for misbehaving, and he's terrified of the belt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried just talking to him, but he refuses to look me in the eyes or even look at me when I'm talking to him. He ignores me and everything I say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We play cars, we play in the pool. He gets plenty of positive attention. I watch him all day. We play games and when play time is over, he acts out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He throws things. He kicked my fiancé in the face last night for no apparent reason. When I asked him why, he said, &quot;Because&quot;. &quot;Because&quot; is his answer to everything he does wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His parents have made him our responsibility. How do I change his behavior? I need to know because this has got to stop!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24700" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-13T12:30:50.010" LastActivityDate="2019-06-13T12:30:50.010" Title="How to change a 4-year-old's violent and defiant behavior when his parents made him our responsibility?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|tantrums|violence|extended-family|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27371" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27384" CreationDate="2016-10-05T14:45:11.010" Score="0" ViewCount="619" Body="&lt;p&gt;my younger boy is 3+ months now and he eats regularly throughout the night, like, 12am, 3am and 6am, and fell back sleeping for 3 hours at a stretch, that's a good night. sometime the interval is 2 hours and he wakes up crying and demanding for feeds. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would say he is a decently good sleeper though, meaning that he falls asleep quickly and cries only for food, except for occasionally being fuss.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The pediatrician warned us that he might be a little overweight and suggested reduce the feeding amount (for now, we feed 6oz of formula each time he wakes up). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That puts us at a struggle if we should feed him or let him cry through? Is he sucking the milk because he is hungry or just an instinct? We learnt from other parents that some infants just sleep through the whole night - is it a result of training or just that babies are different? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My first born (now is 2) used to have similar issues as his kid brother does too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions are welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23716" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T03:53:18.980" Title="Sleeping and eating issues at night for a 3 month baby" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27372" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27370" CreationDate="2016-10-05T15:03:58.270" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;How busy is your day to day life? If the bulk of personal, 1 on 1 time he gets is when he acts out, he's going to prefer the negative attention vs none.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, if he gets some positive, focused attention from the parent(s), then a punishment or time out for acting out will seem, in comparison, to be a bad thing.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like he's looking for more interaction and will take it any way he can get it.  That's just a general impression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or, does he get positive attention, but your reaction is pretty dramatic when he says these things?  That's power and control, which children don't feel they have much of. Try to keep your own emotions very neutral, and administer consequences in an even, boring fashion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-10-05T15:03:58.270" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27373" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26713" CreationDate="2016-10-05T15:50:54.947" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter refused to say yes or no for a while.  She would answer with &quot;uh huh&quot; or &quot;uh uh&quot;, which is hard for people to understand from a 2 year old.  We sort of created the problem by accepting the answer.  But people outside of the house had no idea if her answers meant yes or no.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So we decided to no longer entertain those responses.  We didn't change anything about the way we asked questions.  We just refused to accept those answers.  If I asked her &quot;Do you want to go to the park?&quot; and she said &quot;uh huh&quot;, well then I guess we didn't go to the park.  Because I don't know what that means.  I would say &quot;I guess we aren't going to the park because I didn't hear a yes&quot; (or something along those lines)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, the negative answer &quot;uh uh&quot; was a bit harder to break.  But by pretending that you don't understand the answer, whatever it is, the child must adjust.  Humans have a knack of evolving to the situations around them.  It is just like learning any language.  If they can't get what they want with the communication told they use now, they will adjust to whatever communication works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would suggest to stand firm, and get everyone on board with the plan.  Do not even acknowledge head nods or grunts or anything until that kiddo starts saying yes or no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck to you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21444" LastActivityDate="2016-10-05T15:50:54.947" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27374" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27195" CreationDate="2016-10-05T18:54:35.843" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was born while there was extensive construction in our area, we were the first house completed.  It was no problem.  As a matter of fact, my daughter is a sound sleeper now and was very quick to sleep through the night.  I understand the fears of damaging little ears, but the sound levels you experience in your home are likely not going to be detrimental.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In New York City, construction can only be performed on weekdays between 7am and 6pm.  NYC also sets limits to the noise generated from construction sites.  You can research the law.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nyc.gov/html/dep/pdf/noise_code_guide.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;This is a summary of the law&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The caps are around 45 decibels for most implements and a maximum volume (meaning when BIG things happen, like dumping a truck or drilling) is 80 decibels at 30 feet.  Depending on the actual distance to your walls and the material, it shouldn't damage any ears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21444" LastEditorUserId="21444" LastEditDate="2016-10-06T14:38:25.127" LastActivityDate="2016-10-06T14:38:25.127" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27375" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27308" CreationDate="2016-10-05T21:06:39.080" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Being a parent myself, this doesn't sound right to me. The gift of life and support, that is given by parents to their kids, is not payed back to them - it is passed on. You'll pay that back by living a good life, raising kids yourself when the time is right, and giving them good support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do things together with your parents which you both enjoy and profit from, then thats wonderful and valuable. But please watch your feelings closely when you're spending time with them. It's not your job to make your parents happy, and never was. If you do it out of guilt or a bad conscience, then it's harmful to you and your parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact, it sounds a little that you are ashamed of yourself or feel guilty for &quot;having been a little terror&quot;. It you are, then this is a sure sign that there was some deep trouble in your family, which you probably haven't even begun to realize. If you sometimes feel love for your parents - don't hesitate to show that. There is a good reason for that love. And if you sometimes have really bad feelings about them - please allow your self to clearly see and feel that as well. There are good reasons for that, too. If you are in touch with your feelings when in their presence, you're fine being with them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13675" LastEditorUserId="13675" LastEditDate="2016-10-06T05:47:28.033" LastActivityDate="2016-10-06T05:47:28.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27377" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27308" CreationDate="2016-10-06T05:40:23.710" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;yeah dude.  This is the problem in our society we does not appreciate one's presence when he is with us and realize how we are doing bad after he left us.  You are doing good at least you are thinking about your parents sacrifices in your life that is a good start. What I suggest and what I experience is that beyond giving expensive gifts and other materialistic stuff, I think you must spend sometime on daily basis with your parents.  In older age, when they get themselves retire, they just need someone to listen there life stories. If you do so, I think this is much better than any expensive gift in the world.  Just go to there room or house, have dinner with them and tell your whole day story to them and listen what they want to tell you.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24577" LastActivityDate="2016-10-06T05:40:23.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27378" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27370" CreationDate="2016-10-06T14:15:42.410" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Spanking doesn't stop (or even seem to influence) the behavior, so you might as well stop. Besides, it sends a pretty bad message to the child, and using the strap can get you involved with Child Protection Services (never a fun experience.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since you've kind of accepted this responsibility (if you didn't, he wouldn't be at your house), you might as well jump in with both feet. Make sure your fiancé is on board with this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like you need a more effective kind of discipline. My favorite book on discipline is 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phalen. One of the things I love about 1-2-3 Magic is that arguing is dispensed with entirely (obviously only if done wisely). If you do it correctly, you don't even get upset. You just issue a warning to stop a bad behavior, then count. ON 3, the child gets a time out. After the time out, you communicate calmly with the child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Use this in conjunction with a reward system for when he does stop the behavior. Many people use stickers which the child can then &quot;trade in&quot; for something special: a movie, a trip to the ice cream shop, a sleepover (if he's very, very good!) etc. At his age, the rewards need to be fairly immediate because he is only now (at four years of age) able to start delaying gratification. (Being able to delay gratification is very important, and has a positive correlation with future success.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be as consistent and predictable as night following day. Talk to him about which behaviors are acceptable and which are not before starting the counting/time out routine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe he might benefit from an evaluation for possible ADD by a pediatrician. The earlier this is dealt with, the better. Any inconsistency is a setback. Always follow through on boundaries you set with/for a child. When he acts out in public, the same rules apply (I used to take my kids to the car for a time out.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like your fiancé's nephew has had more than his fair share of a rough life. Besides discipline, he needs stability and love, and lots of it. If this is a commitment you feel called to make, dive in whole-heartedly. If you really are not willing to commit, then setting boundaries with his parents is something you might need to do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. It's a tough situation for all involved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-10-06T14:15:42.410" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27379" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27402" CreationDate="2016-10-06T19:44:17.150" Score="6" ViewCount="319" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 5 years old (in a month) daughter has &lt;strong&gt;excessive apprehension about being immerged in new environments with people (especially children) she doesn't know&lt;/strong&gt;.  Basically, she will cry her heart out when we try to leave her in such an environment, then she will stay away from the group, near an adult if possible.  I feel there is more than just timidity, I guess this qualifies somehow as social anxiety disorder ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It has already reached a bothering level, because we cannot always prevent such situations to happen (e.g. during summer we can't afford to keep her at home so she had to follow a holiday camp, it was like sending her to Guantanamo every morning…), and because she is starting to miss fulfilling opportunities (we are cancelling a music and dance initiation program because she doesn't want to attend the class, despite her loving the topic and liking the teachers).  This is less an issue in school because she already knows most children from the last two years (and she has good friends with whom she knows how to behave quite excited), yet teachers seem moderately concerned by her lack of involvement in group activities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She went to a child psychiatrist last weeks, but he didn't help much, beside saying she was quite anxious (which was actually the reason for which we sent her to him, she is constantly and litteraly eating her fingers) and a bit egocentric, but had no strong issue (I guess he was only looking for some psychiatric disease).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What can we do to help her dealing with this issue ?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4929" LastEditorUserId="4929" LastEditDate="2016-10-06T19:59:02.953" LastActivityDate="2016-10-09T17:00:00.260" Title="What are effective strategies against social phobia?" Tags="|social-development|relationships|fears|emotional-well-being|socialization|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27380" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27164" CreationDate="2016-10-06T19:52:51.647" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no experience with this but I'll try to give advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Screaming is a symptom of a concern, and you need to find out what it is. Punishing him may eventually get him to stop screaming, but it won't help because the anger will still build up and cause trouble later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he's not screaming, try asking him in a friendly way something like &quot;Hey, what were you so mad about yesterday?&quot; and try to work things out with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21000" LastActivityDate="2016-10-06T19:52:51.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27382" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27074" CreationDate="2016-10-06T21:00:18.717" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I see that this question has generated interest without an actual answer provided.  The required sample size to do a study like this is quite large and the length of time needed to truly evaluate the benefits of a school is a lifetime.  Also, there are so many contributing factors that will determine the success of a person from schooling until death. Many factors even outweigh the impact of schooling on a person. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that being said, I believe that it is not feasible to conduct a scientific study.  But that will not stop people from doing so and producing results to the general public, like the fluff pieces you mention.  I think that by being concerned about what school to send your children, you are demonstrating that you will try to give your child a successful future.  That is great.  I would suggest that you take any studies or research with a grain of salt on this matter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there was an equation to determine the future level of success of a child, almost every parent would be doing it, thereby nullifying the equation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, define 'benefits'.  What may seem like a benefit in the short term can be a detriment over the long term. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, you already know what is best for your child.  Your gut tells you.  I would suggest going with your gut and leave the research papers on &quot;How to educate/raise/discipline your child&quot; out of your parental decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21444" LastActivityDate="2016-10-06T21:00:18.717" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27383" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27074" CreationDate="2016-10-07T03:04:54.460" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have done dozens of hours of research on Montessori, but I've never come across any scientific studies, per se, so whether or not what I say is what you're looking for will be up to you. I agree with the previous answer, though, that how to raise your child should not solely be based on research papers, BUT - it should be based on evidence, to a degree. You can search up and down, far and wide, for valid, legitimate studies and research papers, but ultimately your best bet will be to study and get to know the method itself. It is absolutely possible to find unbiased, detailed information about Montessori herself, the pedagogy, and the current implementations in schools today in the US. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will say, that after my studies, I hired a nanny when my son was born who was a former Montessori infant/toddler teacher. I promise I am not one of those parents who just thinks their child is some magical, gifted prodigy, but I believe Montessori principles have been very good for him. He is two and a half now, and while I obviously can't state any true long term effects of Montessori on him directly, I can say he is more capable in practical life than any other 2 year old I have encountered personally. That's not to say there aren't kids out there that are more capable than he, but the beauty of Montessori is it very much emphasizes teaching children to do things themselves based on their capabilities. That said, he can only barely count, and doesn't yet know his alphabet. But he throws away his own trash, puts his dishes in the sink, wipes up spills, prepares his own snacks, helps cook, dresses himself, was potty trained at 18 months without any types of rewards/bribes, etc. I consider those things life skills that are every bit as valuable as knowing your ABCs (and I've never met an adult who didn't know his colors, but I have met an 8 year old who had never been shown how to crack an egg into a bowl).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead of baby proofing, for instance, we create a &quot;yes&quot; environment. It is technically child proof, in the sense that it is safe, but nothing is off-limits. In other words, chemicals and things that could harm them are moved far out of reach (like way up high in a closet or cabinet), and things that are fine for them to access (like pots and pans) are left in lower cabinets, where they are free to explore. Children under the Montessori philosophy are treated as an equal member of the household. They are respected in the same way an adult wishes to be respected. That doesn't mean they get to do everything an adult gets to do, of course, there are limits and boundaries, but they are logical instead of arbitrary and defined by society. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Contrary to popular belief, academia as we tend to think of it is not the focus of Montessori's principles. In fact, if you look at her &quot;10 commandments&quot; (for lack of a better term), not a single one of them refer to academics. Now, granted her teachings involve formal academics - math, science, language, etc. - but the Montessori philosophy is so much more than that, so it can't be compared directly with, say, a normal public elementary school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which is another thing that makes it very difficult to create a scientific study. What would you be looking for? Grades? Academic assessments? Overall achievements? The point of Montessori isn't to make sure a child excels at math or reading. The point is that you follow the child's lead. You don't treat every child equally, because their personalities, their temperaments, their interests, are vastly different from one another. You don't sit 20 of them in a classroom and teach them all the exact same thing, give them the exact same tests, and expect them to score the exact same grade at the exact same time. Some children learn faster than others, some are more skilled at reading than math, some are more interested in science than language. Montessori knew that all children would eventually learn these things (and others), if shown via repetition and with respect, via their absorbent mind. But her goal was to empower children to learn them in their own time, and to not attempt to compare their progress in one area with other children of the same age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, I think the most important thing is to know that Montessori is not all or nothing. Plenty of kids who go to Montessori schools don't live Montessori-inspired lives at home, and plenty of kids who have a Montessori home life don't go to Montessori schools. You would have to get to know the method to find out which principles are right for you and your family. For my family, my son now goes to a daycare which isn't anywhere near Montessori, and that's okay. We are still a Montessori household, as I am a very big fan of the fundamental principles of respecting our children to the utmost degree, and teaching them to be independent in their thinking, to lead by example, and to be gracious towards others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;** Just adding one more thing, in Montessori, there is no such thing as punishment for &quot;bad&quot; behavior, nor reward for &quot;good&quot; behavior. This is something that trips up a lot of parents, and it did me at first, but the more I researched child development / child psychology alongside, the more her views on this aligned with many major life-span psychologists. That there is truly no benefit to punishing children; that it doesn't teach them anything and that time and energy are better spent on preparing their environment and teaching them about their surroundings, and redirecting unwanted behavior. Again, I bring it up, because it's something a LOT of parents hone in on and decide they can't function as parents if they can't put their child in time-out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24720" LastEditorUserId="24720" LastEditDate="2016-10-07T03:15:58.877" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T03:15:58.877" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27384" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27371" CreationDate="2016-10-07T03:53:18.980" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;The waking intervals are perfectly normal. He is still an infant. My son is two and a half and still wakes usually once per night - but woke at least two to three times per night until around the time he turned two. Thirsty, hungry, needing to eliminate, reflux, heard a bump in the night, looking for mommy - all typical reasons for an infant or even young child to wake during the night. This time goes by SO SO SO fast, you have a two year old, so you know how quickly they grow out of infancy. It won't last forever. You will get to sleep again! ;) The most important thing right now is forming a bond with your baby and teaching your baby that he can trust you to meet his needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a lactation counselor, I would never encourage 6 ounce feeds of &lt;em&gt;either&lt;/em&gt; breastmilk or formula at that age. BUT I say that to say, your son is not obese (I'm actually chuckling at the pedi saying that - they really are not infant nutrition experts, even if they speak as though they are). But, he does need to be fed if he is crying to be fed. Ignoring an infant's cries is just not necessary for proper development, in fact there are a number of recent studies that have shown actual cognitive delay and attachment issues as a result of having their cries ignored.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for sleeping through the night - ALL babies are different. And there are SO many variations of STTN as well, and so many reasons for it. Some babies don't need to eat as much, some have been left to cry it out, some just have their own sleep cycles, some are overfed before bedtime, some have a pacifier to keep them content when waking, some are just generally less &quot;needy&quot; overall... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Suggestions for you that don't involve ignoring his cries: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try (very quietly) changing his diaper and rocking him back to sleep when he wakes - if his cry becomes more intense, it is likely he is hungry or needing to suck, so feed him. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;You could try a pacifier, if you haven't already, if it were a sucking/comfort need that could help with that aspect.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you do feed a bottle, make sure it is paced fed - yes it will take longer, but it will keep from overfilling/stretching his tummy. Start with a six ounce bottle since that's what he's used to, but don't hold it at an angle where all he can do is swallow as he sucks - the sucking part is absolutely instinct, and the swallowing is a defense mechanism - he can't tell you he's full, he wants to suck, but he doesn't know he doesn't need all that formula/milk, so he keeps having to swallow it to keep from drowning basically. When people say a baby knows how much they need to eat ... well ... sort of. But since humans were built to get milk from a breast, which is actually very hard work for newborns and young infants, a bottle on the other hand is very easy to get milk out of, and so they tend to overeat on accident. So, definitely feed as much as he wants, don't withhold food, but allow him to determine the pace at which he eats, and the quantity - give him frequent breaks, hold him sort of upright, hold the bottle so he has to work to get the formula out of it - those will help him regulate his food intake as nature intended.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And, lastly, the thing I tell all of my clients to remind themselves - he spent 9 months inside of you where temperature was stable and warm, he had a constant food supply, frequent motion, ability to pee comfortably, and was always being &quot;held&quot; .. he's only been in the real world for 3 months, and in that time has experienced silence, cold, hunger, the feeling of clothes, wet/soiled diapers, being alone, and so on and so forth. He's still in adjustment phase, and will be for awhile. Even if he's waking because he needs the comfort of his mommy, that's a perfectly okay thing to provide him in the middle of the night. &amp;lt;3&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24720" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T03:53:18.980" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27385" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27369" CreationDate="2016-10-07T04:18:26.413" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would start with understanding that a 2.5 year old has no impulse control nor cognitive reasoning. It doesn't exist. It's not there. Sometimes it seems like it is, those are what I call &quot;lucky occasions&quot;, but really it's not. I have a 2.5 year old boy as well, and a background in lifespan development/child psychology, so I am highly familiar with the type. :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, a couple of things. First, make sure he actually gets plenty of time to be excited and be a &quot;crazy&quot; kid throughout the day in a somewhat controlled environment - i.e., not in the scenarios you're describing where he is hurting other kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, spend a lot of time focusing on positive attention ... that age, they are almost like teenagers for a blip in their toddlerhood - they have hit an age where they can do a lot of new things, and they've discovered so much they didn't know before, and they want to try it all out - but mostly, they are wanting to connect in new and different ways. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The infant / young tod who didn't know how to say no, or push limits, or test boundaries has grown up and figured out that he can try to get what he wants. &lt;em&gt;EVERY SINGLE TODDLER DOES THIS!&lt;/em&gt; This is actually a milestone and a healthy part of development! They are learning autonomy. They are learning preferences. They are becoming individuals. They YEARN for the freedom to say 'no', or to not have to do something just because someone told them to. They thrive on being able to make decisions for themselves. Embrace this time, and pat yourself on the back, you have a motivated toddler instead of one who has been broken down into compliance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of my most invaluable tools is to form questions in the form of two options, which forces them into a choice (note: you must be in agreement to either choice he makes), but makes them feel like they have control over their &quot;destiny&quot;. An example: toddler won't eat dinner, but also won't get down from the table to get ready for bed. Me: &quot;You can either finish eating dinner, or you can come with me and get ready for bed. You choose, which do you want to do?&quot; There are times when he refuses to answer either way, and if I've asked him a second time and he ignores me, then I will say &quot;Great, then I get to choose! Time for bed.&quot; And then I stick to my guns and actually take him to bed, regardless of whether a tantrum ensued. I'm not mean about it, or harsh about it, I explain to him very evenly and logically that &quot;I gave you a choice to make when I needed you to make a decision. You could have chosen dinner, or you could have chosen bed. Since you weren't eating, and you didn't answer me, I chose bedtime for you.&quot; Believe me, they understand what you're saying - even a completely nonverbal toddler understands. I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am someone taught me this &quot;trick&quot; - I use it for most things now to diffuse situations or give him independence and control over his choices, without having to sacrifice anything or browbeat him into doing what I want him to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another example, if he has something in his hand that I don't want him to have (like he found a pen and is about to write all over the walls), I will say &quot;We can't play with the pen right now. You can put it back where it belongs, or you can give it to me and I can put it back where it belongs for you. Choice is yours, what's it going to be? You put it back, or I put it back, but we can't play with the pen right now.&quot; I can usually see the wheels turning in his head as he thinks about it, but the great thing is - either way, it ends with the pen being put away and (usually) no fight or tantrum or meltdown! He made the choice, out of choices he was given, and I don't have ink all over my walls. Win win!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24720" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T04:18:26.413" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27386" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27341" CreationDate="2016-10-07T04:40:48.133" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you're in a western-ish country (US, Canada, UK, etc), chai tea is actually just spiced tea. So, if you were making your own, you could very well just skip the tea leaves and use warm milk with the Masala Chai spices added for the little one. I am a huge fan of chai tea lattes in the wintertime, and would have no qualms about doing this for my 2.5 yr old son this winter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24720" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T04:40:48.133" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27387" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27369" CreationDate="2016-10-07T10:06:44.373" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a mum of a nearly 3 year old highly independent, motivated, energetic girl, the 2 main tools we've found useful are as much outdoor physical activity as possible in every day and choice. Very much in agreement with user24720.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this age the more gross motor activities - climbing, running, jumping - we can get her doing in the day the calmer she is in-between times, this allows us to encourage her to do quiet, concentrating activities like puzzles when we need her to. It has also helped with how she responds to highly stimulating situations like meeting friends, new people, new places and how attentive to us she is when we give instructions. For us I've found the more we can load these  activities into the beginning of the day the better. Even better are activities where we're joining in with her - ball games are good, skipping rope, anything that requires 2 people or more or taking turns - that's helped her to learn how to interact with others too - she can see by example. If she accidentally hurts me or is too rough when we're playing then I make sure I act it up a teeny bit so shes really clear that it hurt and I say something like 'I'm having fun but be gentle, that hurt' and then we carry on playing - gradually she's learning where the limits are but at nearly 3 she's still very young to be learning the finer control of her limbs!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Giving her specific, defined choices has worked a dream for us in one-on-one behaviour - Do you want to turn the tv off or shall I? Would you like weetabix or rice crispies for breakfast? We thought we were giving her choice before but in fact 'What would you like for breakfast?' was too much for her to process - she had to come up with the options AND then the choice, which just left her frustrated so she expressed her frustration though 'naughty' behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Despite its awful title I've found a book by Margot Sutherland 'What Every Parent Needs to Know: The incredible effects of love, nurture and play on your childs development' - has given me a good basis to start from with helping my lo navigate her emotions/behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24723" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T10:06:44.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27389" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="16829" CreationDate="2016-10-07T11:26:12.663" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is actually an old question and a late answer for you. But for those who have the same question, I will try to explain it. Tongue tie mostly affects the speaking. Because the tie under the tongue limits the moving ability of the tongue, the patient does experience difficulties to pronounce the letters d, n, l, r, t, and z. So it might be the best decision to get the baby taken Frenectomy as soon as possible. If the surgery is carried out before she starts speaking, then she will be able to pronounce the words correctly and have no speech problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Source:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.healthextent.com/diseases/tongue-tie-surgery&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.healthextent.com/diseases/tongue-tie-surgery&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24725" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T11:26:12.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27391" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="20291" CreationDate="2016-10-07T14:34:33.707" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It does not. You will need another stroller.  With safety being the number one priority of these products, do not attempt to modify these products to make them fit with equipment other than the intended system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21444" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T14:34:33.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27392" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-07T18:18:29.723" Score="5" ViewCount="206" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife picks up my daughter from daycare at the end of the day and goes home to get dinner ready and do some chores as she waits for me to get home. My daughter is 7 months old. When she gets home she changes my daughter and feeds her a bottle. When my daughter is picked up she is happy as a clam. When my wife puts my daughter down in the same room or in a different room she just starts screaming. It has gotten so bad that my wife has gotten overly frustrated and I have had to give her some time to herself to de-stress as I arrive home an hour later and she stops. She only does this at the end of the day. My wife can't hold her everyday after work, nothing she needs to do or wants to do would get done. Is the screaming a phase? We do leave her to play on her own periodically depending on what is going on in a different room or in the same room and she is fine. It seems that this week things have gotten a lot LOUDER with her. Anything I can do to curb this behavior or save my wife some sanity till I get home?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17484" LastEditorUserId="21444" LastEditDate="2016-10-11T16:34:52.453" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T16:54:20.683" Title="Is screaming a phase?" Tags="|play-time|self-control|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27393" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27379" CreationDate="2016-10-07T19:26:06.930" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;One common approach to phobias in general is gradual acclimatisation. So going by this principle you should start small by leaving her for a few minutes and then coming back, then increase the time gradually.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-10-07T19:26:06.930" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27394" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27392" CreationDate="2016-10-07T21:32:44.667" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;&quot;Is the screaming a phase?&quot; Well, sort of. In terms of infant crying, yes - but for the reasons you stated, it just presents in different ways as they get older. At 7 months, your daughter is just about to enter the separation anxiety beginnings. It's not a need to panic, but it is a need to come to have realistic expectations about what this means. Your daughter, who probably to this point has been relatively easy going (crying out of hunger, being tired or having a wet diaper) is now going to start having emotions that are directly related to the amount of separation she has from her mother. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really important, critical even, that both you and your wife realize there is nothing you can do to &quot;curb&quot; her anxiety. As her parents, it's your job to help her through it as best as all of you can. You also have to understand it's going to get worse before it gets better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The severity of separation anxiety an infant/young tod presents with is dramatically different from one child to another. Most psychologists agree on one thing though: you should only be nervous if your child shows NO signs of separation anxiety. In fact, most also agree that an attached child will naturally have a bit more separation anxiety than one who hasn't formed a strong bond with a primary caregiver, however that doesn't mean the reverse is true - in other words, a child who doesn't exhibit extreme separation anxiety isn't necessarily because of not being attached, it could very likely just be their temperament. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things to help you and your wife:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babywearing&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Baby wearing&lt;/a&gt;!! It is an absolute lifesaver at that age. I wore my son daily until he was about 11 months, because there was no way to get things done otherwise. As a single mom, with only two hands, I was able to cook, clean and exercise with baby strapped on my back. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Come up with a routine and stick to it. Being a parent is hard work, and honestly even though some things get easier, other things get harder as they grow up. So come up with a routine that helps you each get a good break each day, and make it flexible enough that if it isn't working, you try something else. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your wife is probably battling a bit of an inner personal struggle with balancing work during the day parenting in the evenings. As a working mom myself, it's hard to switch modes. It's hard to not get a break in the roles. Except for when I'm in my car, I'm either an employee at my job or I'm a mom. There's very little time to be responsible/accountable to no one but myself. Depending on your wife's personality, that can be very defeating - knowing you basically at this point live for other people. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So again it's really important that you work together as a team and go the extra mile for each other. Boost each other up, give each other high fives, put on a smile even when you're beyond exhausted, but most importantly remember that a) it IS a phase (just one of them though, sorry) and b) your daughter needs her connection with both of her parents affirmed - she comes first - dishes CAN wait if it means not leaving your daughter to cry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24720" LastEditorUserId="24927" LastEditDate="2016-10-27T16:54:20.683" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T16:54:20.683" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27396" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27164" CreationDate="2016-10-08T02:55:52.090" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I could type a really long answer full of everything psychology and parenting experts would say, but what it boils down to is: this child is in need of a connection. He needs empathy and respect. He needs you to treat him like you would your best friend if she were hysterical about something. Be calm, gentle and supportive. Put words to his feelings, since he obviously can't. Let him know you're here to talk when he needs. Children who feel like they haven't been given a voice will scream because they have no other way of expressing their feelings. It's the same reason babies cry - they can't talk, but they have needs and they need to get the attention of their caregivers. Older kids are just much louder. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I highly recommend checking out some parenting resources on positive parenting and focusing on how to empathize and communicate his feelings to him so that he can put words to his emotions. Overcommunication is the key with young children as they still don't have the tools they need to understand everything that happens to and around them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24720" LastActivityDate="2016-10-08T02:55:52.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27398" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-08T03:36:34.353" Score="6" ViewCount="290" Body="&lt;p&gt;My almost 8 year old is a smart boy at school, is a role model and &quot;a stabilising influence&quot; on kids with anger issues (according to the school, so he sits next to troubled kids). Our problem is that he turns into a monster if he doesn't get his way at home, throwing things around, saying he is getting annoyed, just like these 2 kids in his class who are on the autistic spectrum do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder if he thinks this behaviour will be rewarded, as the school does give quiet time, etc. to these 2 children, but it becoming unbearable for me. I would appreciate your advice on this. Thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24732" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-10-08T15:07:12.167" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T03:17:17.340" Title="7 year old has tantrums only at home" Tags="|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27399" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27168" CreationDate="2016-10-08T03:55:39.220" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;* Editing to mention that the previous answer didn't show up for some reason when I came to read the question, but I think we end up saying the same thing essentially. *&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have a pretty non traditional view on toddlers and sharing. From my history in developmental studies, toddlers don't share. It's not really a concept they can grasp. Yes they can be forced to give something of theirs away, but is that really how we want them learning to share things? Cooperative play and sharing don't really become feasible until closer to 4 and 5 years of age. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I look at it like this: if I ask you (a perfect stranger) to borrow your phone, you have every right to tell me to get lost. So here is how it goes in our household. My 2.5 year olds toys are his. Anything he owns is actually his. He has absolutely no obligation to share &lt;em&gt;his&lt;/em&gt; things with anyone else. But, that also means he is learning that no one else is under any obligation to share &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; things with him. In a shared / public space, everything is up for grabs so long as no one else is using it. That means, if a child is playing with a toy, that child can keep playing with that toy for as long as he likes. However once he is finished playing with it, it's fair game, and if my son picks it up and plays with it, then he can play with it for however long he wants. But, in either situation (home or public), he is encouraged to ask another child if they would like to play with one of his toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have no doubt that he will learn to share and no real reason to force something that isn't even age appropriate on him for the sake of making it look to others like I've taught him manners. It will happen in due time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;TL;DR - you can teach and model sharing from the beginning, but forcing a child before they are ready or able to understand will just end up in a lot of tears and fighting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24720" LastEditorUserId="24720" LastEditDate="2016-10-08T04:00:46.270" LastActivityDate="2016-10-08T04:00:46.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27401" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-09T02:16:07.720" Score="4" ViewCount="683" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am 22 years of age and living at home while I finish my degree. My upcoming trip (with family) begins to take shape. I will be travelling with my mother for roughly 2 1/2 weeks (the first half of the trip), and then alone for about another 3. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's one thing I'm still dreading: packing. My mother is an overpacker-in-denial, and she projects that onto everybody around her. Regardless of whether she's going on the trip or not, she'll pressure everybody who &lt;strong&gt;is&lt;/strong&gt; going into packing 3 times as much stuff as is actually necessary, and packing time for any trip is always rife with arguments and fighting because my philosophy is less &quot;be prepared for any possible scenario&quot; and more &quot;travel light&quot; (it wouldn't be a problem if I didn't live with her).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How do I deal with the inevitable conflict between what I want to do (especially since I'll be travelling alone for a good part of the trip) and what she wants me to do? And, preferably, do it without yelling at each other nonstop for a week?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24740" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-08T12:28:24.343" LastActivityDate="2019-08-08T12:28:24.343" Title="How to deal with a pre-travel conflict with my mother about overpacking?" Tags="|adult-child|travel|conflict|mother|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27402" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27379" CreationDate="2016-10-09T17:00:00.260" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the UK about 1 in 10 children between the ages of 5 and 15 has a diagnosable mental health problem.  Most of these are at the &quot;mild&quot; end, but they still cause some distress for the child and the parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are good reasons why medical diagnoses are not made over the Internet.  But, if you think your child's anxiety is interfering with her day to day life then you should seek treatment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Psychiatrists can prescribe medication, but that's not the front line treatment for an anxiety disorder. (In fact, current advice is to avoid medication). You'll want to speak to a paediatric psychologist. Find one who has some professional registration.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(In England you'd see your GP, and keep pushing because paediatric mental health services are under considerable pressure).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anxiety disorders are very treatable. I think any clinician would recommend a course of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. This would be a short course of therapy (about 8 to 14 sessions, one per week, for about 45 minutes each time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;CBT can be done 1 to 1 with a therapist; or as part of group sessions; or self-guided from books.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's going to be some difficulty finding suitable CBT courses for such a young child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if your child doesn't meet the threshold for an anxiety disorder, you'll find the concepts of CBT useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the recommended treatment in England for anxiety disorders:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the pathway: &lt;a href=&quot;https://pathways.nice.org.uk/pathways/social-anxiety-disorder&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://pathways.nice.org.uk/pathways/social-anxiety-disorder&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's the recommendations: &lt;a href=&quot;https://pathways.nice.org.uk/pathways/social-anxiety-disorder#path=view%3A/pathways/social-anxiety-disorder/interventions-for-children-and-young-people-with-social-anxiety-disorder.xml&amp;amp;content=view-node%3Anodes-treatment-for-children-and-young-people&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://pathways.nice.org.uk/pathways/social-anxiety-disorder#path=view%3A/pathways/social-anxiety-disorder/interventions-for-children-and-young-people-with-social-anxiety-disorder.xml&amp;amp;content=view-node%3Anodes-treatment-for-children-and-young-people&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-10-09T17:00:00.260" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27403" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27401" CreationDate="2016-10-09T17:38:18.843" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In short, grow up, act like an adult and face the concequenses or let your mother dictate your traveling habits as long as you travel with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have two basic options, take what you want and no more and have her shout at you or take what she thinks is needed and be overpacking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel the peace at home is most important, pack what she wants you to pack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would pack in two different bags/cases.&#xA;One with the things you feel you need. And a second with the things she insist as extras. Do lock that second bag, (give her the key if you think it works) and do not use that.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;That way you can show her that you did take enough and did not need the things she insisted on. She might come back to you with 'but the weather was not as extreme as it might have been' or 'but you walked with dirty clothing half the time'. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you go on alone, have her take that bag home with her.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I assume she travels by car, as that is about the only way you can take that much extra luggage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you fly, you may have to store the extra bag somewhere and retrieve it on your way home, in that case it might be better to 'forget' it at home, before leaving for the airport.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people who start out traveling alone bring 'too much' luggage, compared to what they would bring years later when having traveled for several long solo trips by public transport.&#xA;Many people will never feel the need to leave home the extra things, as they do not need to lug it around and have the car take care of it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So if you travel on alone by car, for the peace at home, you can just lug around all including the kitchen sink, and never think about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With you at the age of 22, I feel this is not a parenting question, it is a travel question (I missed it there, otherwise I would have answered) and a question about how adults interact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24744" LastActivityDate="2016-10-09T17:38:18.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27404" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27398" CreationDate="2016-10-09T19:10:28.450" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Students on the autism spectrum are given &quot;quiet time&quot; by competent schools not as a reward, but to permit them psychological recovery from what to them are the very high stresses of being exposed to a classroom full of neurotypical kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is possible that your son is a &quot;stabilizing influence&quot; on these other students because your son also has some of the same characteristics.  In this case, it may be a good idea to give your son some quiet time as well, especially immediately after a full school day of having to deal with other kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's also probably a good idea to try to have some open minded discussions of the issues with your son.  In these discussions, you should stay away from saying anything judgemental or talking about consequences; the idea would be to find out what his point of view of these situations are, and not trying to get him to behave more as you would like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's hard to provide any more specific suggestions without knowing more details of your situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-10-09T20:00:55.383" LastActivityDate="2016-10-09T20:00:55.383" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27405" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27401" CreationDate="2016-10-09T19:22:55.470" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your mother has presumably had a couple of decades, or more, more than you to acquire the habits she has. Habits become more difficult to change the deeper they are ingrained. You show a willingness (eg this very post) to adapt that we have no evidence is matched by your mother, so I think that has to be exploited. That is, it is rather up to you to 'comply' (and credit to you for showing some willingness to do so). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think @Willeke's advice is a large part of a solution but may still be a little more confrontational than necessary. I am assuming your mother is less up-to-date than you are with the current contingency facilities available to travellers. For example, shops that open 24 hours rather than closing half day Wednesday and all day Sunday. And overnight delivery from online stores rather than several days by post, and back up that a mobile 'phone provides more effectively than fixed lines may do while in transit. And the ability to purchase with plastic even when cash has run out or been stolen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I doubt your mother is bothered by any extravagance from buying an extra pair of socks while you are away (because yours got wet and you only took one pair). I think what she is concerned about is your discomfort and health from spending too long with wet feet just because you do not have a replacement pair of socks to hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know (personal experience) the improvement in relationships achieved by &quot;fleeing the nest&quot; for a short period. Prove you can survive on your own and your mother will be reassured that she no longer needs to involve herself in your well-being to the extent she has for over 20 years. Just one trip away as an independent (with minimal luggage) should be sufficient evidence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However for that first solo trip you still face the existing issues. I suggest you pack what your mother wants you to (avoids confrontation) and then take steps as suggested by @Willike. 'Accidentally' leaving a bag of surplus material behind may not be a good idea however. There is bound to be suspicion the forgetfulness was deliberate (exacerbating the issue) and I would expect your mother, from what you say, to make very certain it was not overlooked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Better would be compare, on your return, a pile of what you &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; require with a pile of what you did not. And maybe mention the inconvenience you suffered from too much luggage (eg cost of storage). If not practical to split into two batches and leave one with your mother while you are away (despite her protestations!) try depositing what you do not want to lug around at a left-luggage locker. Then show her the bill for that, or a picture of the receipt, or of the left luggage office.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, you could deliberately leave behind, before setting off solo, one or two items you &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; expect to need. Then on your return recount how you managed without them. Perhaps: &quot;I used a comb instead of a hairbrush&quot;, &quot;I washed my hair with soap instead of shampoo&quot;, &quot;I 'borrowed' some loo paper and used that instead of a handkerchief&quot;, &quot;The train station sold umbrellas&quot;. This won't stop your mother worrying but should prove that &quot;push comes to shove&quot; and you'll manage. Assure her of that and I guarantee fewer arguments about packing thereafter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24745" LastActivityDate="2016-10-09T19:22:55.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27406" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14455" CreationDate="2016-10-09T19:59:31.487" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar issue at a similar age with our normally well behaved son, the second of three children and the first of two boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The issue appeared to be that our son was getting old enough to want to do more things independently, rather than just following the lead of his older sister.  Doing things independently meant that he had to handle more conflicts with his younger brother trying to get in on whatever he was doing; previously he could depend on his older sister to handle his younger brother, but that was no longer the case when he was playing independently of his older sister.  This desire for independence might have been increased due to influence from full time kindergarten at school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our solution mostly amounted to recognizing his increased maturity and independence.  We treated him more as an older sibling of the younger child rather than just as the one of the younger siblings of the older child.  He got some responsibility for and authority for defending himself against the younger child as long as he exercised the restraint appropriate to an older sibling.  We also gave him some 'older sibling' responsibilities, such as being an authorized person for his younger sibling to hold hands with in parking lots.  With respect to his older sibling, we made it clear to her that his participation in her play sessions was voluntary:  he was allowed to turn down opportunities to play with her when he wanted to, as he was no longer just the minion she had previously treated him as.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also gave him more one on one time than he had been getting, though from your question you already seem to be doing that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, a year later, this approach seems to have worked pretty well.  There are still conflicts, but he's back to being the well behaved child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-09T19:59:31.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27407" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26698" CreationDate="2016-10-10T00:33:36.707" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm guessing  this girl acts this way not intentionally per se, but out of insecurity.  Also, if she's accustomed to not socializing well, she may have no idea how or when to initiate, or may be afraid of how that encounter could develop.  That's coming from someone who has been on both ides of the coin, I was once a very insecure kid and am lately the father of a teenage boy.  It's a fact that insecurity is often interpreted rudeness or being &quot;stuck up&quot;, very often that person has no idea and would actually prefer to be well-liked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course you should not let this pass.  You son already knows your feelings on the topic, so no need  to talk to him anymore about it just now. My advice is, next time she come over, greet her as friendly as you can manage. Unless she is no longer welcome in your home, try to convey that she &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; welcome as your son's guest. You might get lucky the first time around, she may respond or even pause to chat a bit. Also when she leaves same should apply. Whatever happens, don't give up, just rinse and repeat.  I advise that you try to engage your son in these interactions, he should become more comfortable and that should have a positive effect for her as well. Once you have made some initial contact, talk to your son a bit, tell him you know there must be something he likes about her, and you and your SO would like to get to know the girlfriend a little better so that you understand that too (or however you would like to put it).  It's just like when he was 10 years old you no doubt wanted to know who he was running around with then, too.  I would say that it is of paramount importance that you develop some sort of relationship with her, maybe even friendship. This might be your son's first &quot;serious&quot; relationship, and what happens here will set the foundation for ones in the future.  I imagine he wants to make his own decisions here, but may very well want a little guidance in new and possibly treacherous waters.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Make him aware that whatever happens here, you have &lt;em&gt;always&lt;/em&gt; got his back e.g if he finds here to be scary and manipulative (once again, personal experience), and also, of course, he has a responsibility to her and himself to be responsible. wink wink, nudge nudge. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24748" LastActivityDate="2016-10-10T00:33:36.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27408" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-10T07:44:24.073" Score="1" ViewCount="155" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for an app to make my 4-year-old son learn, for example to count and the alphabet, before he can watch videos or play games. Is there such an app? Ideally 1 minute of learning would unlock 1 minute of play time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I found apps that limits the time spent on an iPad, but I was not able to find anything that would require some learning before unlocking the device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24749" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-10T12:46:21.273" LastActivityDate="2018-09-10T12:46:21.273" Title="Are there good educational apps for a 4-year-old where learning unlocks play time?" Tags="|pre-schooler|education|video-games|tablet-computer|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ClosedDate="2016-10-17T19:35:07.690" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27409" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2985" CreationDate="2016-10-10T11:22:48.790" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I personally have found the most success in not teaching our child to not swear but instead teaching her where it is ok to swear. Children are going to learn the words. Teaching them responsible behavior is always better than sheltering them from something they are guaranteed to be exposed to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24751" LastActivityDate="2016-10-10T11:22:48.790" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27410" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27277" CreationDate="2016-10-10T16:54:59.117" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;As I interpreted this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your girlfriend is obsessed with gender stereotypes and corresponding dress. Your stepchild thought that medical treatment would make her allowed to look how she wants, but that turned out to be a terrible idea as she's now dressed up even more strictly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So how to move forward?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't see how trying to become her legal guardian is practically possible. If you go to the child protection service and say &lt;em&gt;&quot;My stepchild is forced to wear things she absolutely doesn't want to wear and it's literally driving her insane!&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, then they'll laugh at you squarely and throw you out. It's ridiculous of course, but that's just how they work; if it doesn't involve daily boxing or starvation, they couldn't care less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So all you can do is try to make your girlfriend and your stepchild cool with each other again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to your stepchild that going through with any kind of medical treatment is a bad idea as it's counterproductive now - it has only made her mother even more upset - and pointless in the future - as by the time any &lt;em&gt;serious&lt;/em&gt; treatment is allowed to start, she'll be legally independent of her mother and thus allowed to look however she wants in the first place, no treatment needed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Explain to your girlfriend that she can't mold her child's mind - that if a child says &lt;em&gt;&quot;Yellow is my favorite colour!&quot;&lt;/em&gt; but then you say &lt;em&gt;&quot;No, blue is the right color. Yellow is a scandalous color for you to like&quot;&lt;/em&gt;, and then you punish them when they show interest in yellow objects and break all of their yellow crayons and send them to a &quot;favorite color conversion camp&quot;, and then they'll probably pretend their favorite colour is blue from then on, but they will still think yellow is nice and as soon as they are legally independent from you they will ignore your opinion on colours and prefer yellow again - and that while this is a ridiculous example, the same applies to clothing, hairstyles, etc. See how she reacts to such an analogy, ask &lt;em&gt;what exactly is bothering her about her child's behavior&lt;/em&gt;, and try to work out a solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21000" LastActivityDate="2016-10-10T16:54:59.117" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27411" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1709" CreationDate="2016-10-10T20:24:33.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;try making your own tahini by frying sesame seeds till slightly brown. once cooled blend them till powder like and mix some olive oil to combine and salt to taste. im addicted to it!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24757" LastActivityDate="2016-10-10T20:24:33.227" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27413" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27408" CreationDate="2016-10-10T23:46:12.570" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't know of an app that will do exactly what you want, but you could take a standard learning app, set a timer when he starts, and not tell him how to exit the app.  Once he has played with the app for a while and gets bored, you can exit it for him, set a timer for the appropriate amount of time, and let him watch netflix or play games.  You could do that with pretty much any iPad app, but here is one example:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.148apps.com/app/384334005/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.148apps.com/app/384334005/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, I'm not sure that's the best approach, as it may teach your son that learning is a chore, and can't be fun.  If you want to use an iPad app, I'd encourage you to find one that your son actually enjoys using, so he can learn letters or numbers and be playing games at the same time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Better still would be for you to sit down with him while he does the work, if you have time for it.  That way he can learn to enjoy learning, reading, and math because it's associated with having time with his dad.  Granted you will have to relax and enjoy it yourself, so that it's an all around positive experience for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For letters and reading, I have had good luck with the Kumon workbook series.  In particular, I've used their uppercase letters, lowercase letters, rhyming words, and rhyming words and phrases workbooks successfully, by the end of which the child is ready to sound out words and start simple reading and writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/477430705X&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.amazon.com/First-Uppercase-Letters-Kumon-Workbooks/dp/477430705X&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/4774307068&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.amazon.com/My-First-Book-Lowercase-Letters/dp/4774307068/ref=cm_rdp_product&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/4774307610&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.amazon.com/Book-Rhyming-Words-Kumon-Workbooks/dp/4774307610/ref=cm_rdp_product&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/4774307629&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.amazon.com/Rhyming-Words-Phrases-Kumon-Workbooks/dp/4774307629/ref=cm_rdp_product&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you use these, be careful not to overload the child or to get frustrated because you think the child can do better.  A page or two a day may seem slow, but it will have him ready to start reading in less than a year.  Also, do read the instructions, especially the parts about what sounds the child should make while tracing the letters.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-10T23:46:12.570" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27415" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-11T13:12:37.653" Score="3" ViewCount="414" Body="&lt;p&gt;The father of my child and I were together 8 years and broke up 15 weeks ago.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We broke up due to fighting about money and we hurt on money because he spent a great deal of it on pills, which I found out at the end. The last six month of our relationship he was moody, slept a lot, called into work a lot, and was always lazy but was worse than usual. I was working 60 to 80 hrs a week, and keeping house clean. He was a server so he easily hid money and was also telling me he needed money for other things that he wasn't using it for. Anyways I refused to be an enabler and we started fighting all the time. He got mad and left one day. Also started seeing a women who is known to be a partier and does pills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we first broke up it was hard on our 6 year old. She cried all the time. I'd beg him to see her. He didn't want to see me and I wasn't letting him take her. I tried to set stuff up where he could see her with family members. Didn't happen. He would act like I was calling wanting him and tell me not to call. I can't make him see her obviously so I stopped calling. Weeks went by. He didn't even check in on her. Two weeks ago he called wanting to see her, even if I had to be there. I was very skeptical because she wasn't crying anymore and I didn't want to start it over for him to dissapear again. I told him he could if this was a weekly thing. He agreed. I also told him that if he missed one week I'd make him go to court before he sees her again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you know, he saw her the first week. Second week his girfriend's car, which he is using, broke down. Instead of calling me and telling me when Tuesday, our visiting day, came he ignored my texts and I had to blow his phone up two days later when my daughter realized it and was crying. He knows I would have found a way to meet him at a near by park or something. He lives in a housing addition with his girfriend's mom, so there is probably a park there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way he's asked to see her this week, I said no and he is making me out to be horrible. I feel like I'm in a lose-lose situation. Am I doing the right thing? All I want is to get visiting through court.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to request supervised and a drug test. He says he can't afford court or attorney. I have raised our child by myself since our breakup and gotten back on my feet. He is bumming off his girlfriend and her mom. So I'm just not buying his excuses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24761" LastEditorUserId="7479" LastEditDate="2016-10-12T11:26:00.997" LastActivityDate="2016-10-12T11:26:00.997" Title="Child's dad is asking to visit, but is using drugs and uncooperative" Tags="|parents|separation|custody|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27416" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27420" CreationDate="2016-10-11T13:57:07.677" Score="-1" ViewCount="2255" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are tons of baby monitors when searching on Google, but when adding the restriction that it has to also work for outdoor use, I can't find a single one.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby unit have to work from -5ºC degrees.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Question&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does such exist in normal shops, or does there exist a special brand, that fulfills this need?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24762" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-17T17:54:46.773" LastActivityDate="2018-11-19T21:22:15.587" Title="Baby monitor for outdoor use?" Tags="|infant|newborn|safety|outdoor|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27417" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27415" CreationDate="2016-10-11T14:06:30.723" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Based on your description, throughout this entire sequence of events, you have put your child as the #1 priority, over considerations of yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, yes, you are absolutely doing the right thing.  Someone in the grips of a self-destructive drug addiction absolutely should not have private, unfettered access to a child like that.  You have given him the opportunity, with very clear requirements, that he agreed to and promised to continue to agree to.  He failed after only one week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has demonstrated repeatedly that he has not earned your trust, and when given opportunities to prove himself trustworthy, he has squandered it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's trying to manipulate you through guilt and making himself feel like the victim.  While unpleasant, that isn't &quot;losing&quot; unless you allow him to succeed in changing your priorities that have served you so well thus far - &quot;What is best for my child?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sorry you have to go through this.  You are doing all the right things.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find out if there are any resources, government or charitable, that can help you through this tough time.  What I mean is - do they have information on assistance for child care, free legal advice on how to keep control of the custody situation, help in getting court ordered child support put into place or a formal order of custody.  Do they have advice on whether getting an order of support means you have to give visitation?  Do they have counseling services they can refer you to just so you can have someone you can talk to who can give you solid, reassuring advice?  Are there similar resources available to help your daughter through this time?  Do they have resources on the best practices you can use to support your daughter?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-10-11T14:06:30.723" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27420" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27416" CreationDate="2016-10-11T19:26:08.217" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ida makes a good point! In general most commercial electronics are good a little bit below zero. Battery life starts to go down, as batteries are adversely affected by cold, but the circuits themselves should be okay. They tend to be more affected by water...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But remember - if you have it next to your baby, it will end up around the same temperature as them (or at least near it) so if your baby can cope, I'd assume the monitor can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-10-11T19:26:08.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27421" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27424" CreationDate="2016-10-11T21:33:39.010" Score="5" ViewCount="837" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 1-year-old son sometimes wants to play with sophisticated things such as a laptop, headphones, a mirror etc. If I deny him those, he starts screaming and crying. Is it a good idea to subside and give him that with supervision? If not, what should we do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23492" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T13:11:25.470" LastActivityDate="2018-05-01T09:57:06.440" Title="1-year old cries when denied the things he wants" Tags="|toddler|infant|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27422" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27415" CreationDate="2016-10-12T05:43:39.637" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Court should not be used as a threat.  Family court will help you set up visitation in a way that's fair for everyone.  Dad doesn't need to pay for a lawyer -- he can get free legal representation if he feels he needs it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can take the initiative -- you don't have to wait for Dad to file.  There are people at your Department of Social Services office that can help you get started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was raised by a single mother and only met my father a handful of times.  It is so much richer for a child to know both parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-10-12T05:43:39.637" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27423" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27369" CreationDate="2016-10-12T05:59:34.187" Score="0" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Runs fast to the kids and tries to hug them. Some times it hurts other kids and scares them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anticipate this.  Hold his hand firmly (with your other hand firmly gripping his forearm if necessary) and approach the other child at a civilized but enthusiastic pace.  Model the desired behavior, for example, &quot;Do you want a hug?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Practice ahead of time with stuffed animals and family members.  Do simple skits involving &quot;Hi, do you want a hug?&quot; &quot;Yes, please!&quot; or &quot;No, thank you.&quot;  When the answer is no, model hugging yourself instead.  Or take along a stuffed animal to give a hug to instead.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Sometimes he will play the games that hurt others. Run and collide into them with his head. Jumping, jump and sit without awareness of where they are.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To develop the awareness of where the other child is, state, &quot;the little boy is there.  Let's be &lt;em&gt;careful&lt;/em&gt;!  Model being careful, do a skit with a stuffed animal hurting another stuffed animal by accident, and then being sorry.  Try to help him develop empathy for the animal that got hurt.  But watch out, don't let these skits get truly violent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Join a weekly play group, so your little one can interact with the same children on a regular basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Normally he used to listen to us and comply with our instructions. But when he gets excited he will not listen to us and will continue to do these things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may need to take some non-punitive time-outs from time to time.  Also, you may need to keep the doses of excitement rather short for now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will be intense and tiring for you.  Plan accordingly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-10-12T05:59:34.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27424" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27421" CreationDate="2016-10-12T08:45:18.827" Score="14" Body="&lt;p&gt;Toddlers cry when they don't get what they want. They don't have any other way to express themselves. Giving them things that might be dangerous for them is generally not a good idea. Giving them things they might break usually isn't either, mostly for your own sake. So I would advise against giving them things that are sharp, fragile and/or expensive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, console the child (pick them up, hold them, talk to them) to calm them down and then distract them with something else. Usually the child will immediately forget that it wanted something specific and just go and play with the new object. If not, move the thing out of their sight and they will forget about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note also that if the child constantly wants to play with whatever &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; are holding, they probably just want attention, not the thing you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2016-10-12T08:45:18.827" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27425" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27432" CreationDate="2016-10-12T22:11:05.100" Score="2" ViewCount="627" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son will be 3 in a few weeks and I am concerned about his total lack of interest in potty training. He refuses to sit on the potty (the big one and little one). How will he possibly train if he won't even sit down on the pot? Do I have reason for concern? Will he just do it one day when he is ready?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7804" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T02:37:52.627" Title="3 year old not even close to being potty trained" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27426" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27427" CreationDate="2016-10-12T22:16:18.933" Score="9" ViewCount="610" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a divorced dad who has my kids every other weekend and a couple day visits during my off-weeks. I have a 5yo son who just started kindergarten and a 3yo autistic daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I struggle with a lack of continuity with my kids. I feel I can enjoy time with them, but am unable to make a meaningful impact in the direction of their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to have more impact? I want to be a dad, not a babysitter. I want to help them learn and grow and really help shape their lives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T19:28:08.140" Title="How can the non-custodial parent remain a strong influence in their children's lives?" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|divorce|custody|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27427" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27426" CreationDate="2016-10-13T07:05:32.107" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kudos for asking yourself (and us) this question and your willingness to be a good dad. A lot will depend on the relationship with your ex-partner. I'm assuming a &quot;reasonably amicable divorce&quot; here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Step 1: Be informed about whatever is going on.    &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure you are up to date with school events, sports club schedules etc. Shared custody is so frequent today that many schools have developed a &quot;double information&quot; policy for those cases, just ask to be informed. From experience, a shared online calendar can be a blessing - accessible for everyone, always up-to-date and avoids misunderstandings that can happen in verbal exchanges. In a few years, your children can even participate. Attend important and not-so-important events, even on your non-visiting days.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If the relationship with your ex is good enough, listen to what she can tell you about current fads and interests in the life of your kids. Talk to your children. Listen carefully and remember what they tell you. Ask follow-up questions at the next meeting. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Step 2: Don't be a &quot;sometimes&quot; dad.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are not the only parent who is absent from home for an extended time. Even in non-separated families, a parent may be away for shorter or longer time spans. Military parents, workers on oil rigs, people who travel for business... A short phone call, perhaps to say good night, Skype, even a postcard or (if you live close) or a note in the letter box are great means of staying present while absent. Be available, if the child wants to talk to you. Make sure they have photos of you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Step 3: Be a dad, not an uncle or babysitter.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you get only limited time, you are probably inclined to &quot;make the most of it&quot; by spoiling them a bit. Which is fine per se. But I strongly suggest to also take over responsibilities - take over some tasks that the mother might usually do. Go shopping, but not just for toys, but mundane necessities like clothes, school supplies, whatever they need. Take them to the dentist's or hairdresser's. (Talk to your ex-wife about sharing those duties and shopping advice if necessary.)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Teach them basic life skills, just like you would have pre-divorce. &lt;a href=&quot;https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLIUDgI1r16CuRE2J3qRZ9QwymgYNbfpT8&amp;amp;params=OAFIAVgE&amp;amp;v=tq9qL8ZL9y4&amp;amp;mode=NORMAL&quot;&gt;You might have to learn a few things&lt;/a&gt; yourself, as you don't have the mom as a backup. You children will have to learn a lot of skills, from brushing their teeth to tying their shoes, from riding a bike to driving a car and painting a room. There is a lot of what you can give them that will stay with them for the rest of their life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Step 4: Be a rock. Be reliable.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unless hell freezes over, try to be there for the scheduled visitations. If you must reschedule, communicate it clearly and as early as possible. You simply can't skip those weekends unless absolutely necessary. (This may be different if you and the childrens's mother have a more flexible system, but the base principle of the children taking first priority remains.)&lt;br&gt;&#xA;Step in if necessary. If the mother gets sick, take over. Be willing to take sick days for the children, don't leave that burden to the mom alone. Even if grandparents or new partners are in the picture, be available and willing to make sacrifices in those mundane crisises.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One word of warning:  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even if you do all of the above and more, there might be a time when your children hate your guts and tell you so. It's probably not related to your divorce, even if they claim that. It's called puberty and happens in the best families. Remember the first mantra of child-rearing:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;This too shall pass.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;And the sage advice of my wise midwife:&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;em&gt;Puberty is when the parents are getting weird.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-10-13T07:05:32.107" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27428" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27425" CreationDate="2016-10-13T07:51:58.017" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;From my own experience (as a parent), pot is not always a required step.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both of my children also refused to sit on a pot, so instead we bought a toilet training seat, so they can sit on the toilet itself safely.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't know if it was faster or slower than &quot;ordinary&quot; potty training, but eventually they got the hang of it and got fully potty trained.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my advice is to try this method as well, since refusing to  sit on a pot does not always mean refusing to become potty trained in general.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2513" LastActivityDate="2016-10-13T07:51:58.017" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27430" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26490" CreationDate="2016-10-13T10:31:39.460" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, start with your daughter. She's the victim, focus on ensuring that she's okay, and that she knows that you're dealing with it. But also check that she's not winding him up. If you're only seeing once he's reacting, you may be missing provocation, which, while not as bad as violence, needs to &lt;em&gt;STOP&lt;/em&gt; if the violence is going to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, if this is a sudden behavioural change, it signifies something's gone wrong for him. I don't want to scare you, but it's important to know his behaviour can be a sign that he's either being abused or bullied, and he doesn't know how to handle it. YOU NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS WHAT IS HAPPENING. Not just because of the obvious reasons, but because it radically alters how you need to interact with this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, the important thing is a consistent response. Don't alternate between &quot;smacking, yelling, thinking spot&quot;, that's not healthy. From this point onwards, have a consistent &quot;behaviour threshold&quot;. When he hits it, he gets a calm warning. If he continues, calmly send him to his room to calm down. 5 minutes. Then go check on him. Sit with him, ask if he's okay and just &lt;em&gt;listen&lt;/em&gt;. If he's still in a state, tell him you'll be back in another 5, and repeat till he's ready for a cuddle.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At worst, this isolates him when he's going erratic, and gives you some time with your daughter to focus on her. If he's &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; bad, you may have to remove the breakables from his &quot;thinking room&quot;, but that's probably something you should do anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I took him to see a pediatrician to evaluate him for ADHD but its only in the infant stages of diagnosis but will see the pediatrician again next month.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You're doing &lt;em&gt;so much&lt;/em&gt; right. Be proud of yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="147" LastActivityDate="2016-10-13T10:31:39.460" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27431" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="4534" CreationDate="2016-10-13T13:12:41.623" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some years ago I enrolled to the faculty of psychology and I sat for a couple of examinations before giving up (I couldn't afford to work at day and study at night). I sat for the examination named &quot;Developmental psychology&quot; and I found a lot of useful thing, as a parent, in the studies there were published.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;About video games, what I remember is that there are basically three kinds of &quot;hazards&quot;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) some video games could start epileptic crisis in children that suffer from this kind of problems;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) children could spend to much time on it, not leaving enough time to do their homework, to go outside and play with their friends, and so on;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) some video games are violent and at that age they are not yet 100% able to distinguish fiction from reality, so they could do something they do in a video game in the real world also.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;According to my studies, these are the three problems connected to video games.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sat this limit to my son (11yo): no more than an hour a day of gaming. Then, also if it gets 75min. I don't start screaming, but I don't let him play for as long as an hour and a half.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These are my two cents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24774" LastActivityDate="2016-10-13T13:12:41.623" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27432" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27425" CreationDate="2016-10-13T14:30:06.487" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, three is a common time to &lt;em&gt;start&lt;/em&gt; potty training.  My oldest didn't start until that time.  Some children are faster and some are slower; I wouldn't worry about the timing.  Honestly, unless you have a specific need (i.e., a school or something that requires it) I would recommend waiting until he is ready (meaning until he's happy to do it).  Training before that point will be stressful for all involved.  Training at that point will be quick and easy in most cases.  Give him a bit of introduction for now, make it seem fun, maybe read some books to him on the toilet or similar.  He'll get used to the idea of it being interesting soon enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, I strongly recommend to skip the &quot;pot&quot; entirely.  We didn't use it for either of our children, and personally I see very little benefit in using a separate child's potty.  It will make it harder to transition to out-of-house toilet usage, as the child won't be able to use a child's potty there.  Instead, use a child's seat on your regular toilet if you need to; those are much easier to transition away from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-10-13T14:30:06.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27433" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27425" CreationDate="2016-10-13T14:48:57.007" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kids are all different.  Worst thing you can do is stress about it.  My oldest trained in 3 days when she was just about to turn 3. Second was not till 4 and youngest was trained at about 3 and a half but had nighttime issues for a while longer.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will happen eventually.  Just be calm, patient, and willing to try different approaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, there's not a lot of 4th graders running around in diapers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="388" LastActivityDate="2016-10-13T14:48:57.007" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27434" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22821" CreationDate="2016-10-14T01:40:15.737" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Gestational age, or the age of the baby, is calculated from the first day of the mother’s last menstrual period. Since the exact date of conception is almost never known, the first day of the last menstrual period is used to measure how old the baby is.&#xA;i suggest you to take a look at this tool &lt;a href=&quot;https://calculatricedegrossesse.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://calculatricedegrossesse.com/&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24776" LastEditorUserId="24776" LastEditDate="2016-10-14T12:32:47.880" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T12:32:47.880" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27435" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27425" CreationDate="2016-10-14T02:37:52.627" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have eight children.  Each one developed the &quot;skill&quot; at a different age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my experience, believing that a child must achieve some objective by a certain age is not useful, unless it is way off as an indicator of a possible genetic defect or health issue.  Normally, they will do it when they are ready.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did not force it, but encouraged it by making it a &quot;rite of passage&quot; from being a little baby to being a kid.   What we did, because we are a technology family, was when they were potty trained, they got go out with their mom and dad - alone - no other kids - have a nice dinner and then pick out a new computer for their own.  Super exciting for a little one to be treated like a &quot;big&quot; kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This turned to be rite of passage for them.  The younger ones saw the older ones with computers and wanted one and found out from the older ones what had to be done.  Once they figured out the &quot;you're too little, you still use diapers&quot; concept, they did all the work at their pace and made it happen.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not only did they do it, but they were PROUD of their achievement - gleaming with pride at their success - as they should be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This even worked for the oldest, who saw dad with a computer and wanted one and was told what needed to be done to achieve their desire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bottom line, you leave it up to THEM.  Treat it as a POSITIVE achievement for THEM.  Not only will they do it themselves, but they will be smiling ear-to-ear when they have done so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20514" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T02:37:52.627" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27436" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27398" CreationDate="2016-10-14T03:17:17.340" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I don't have any experience on the autism side of things so I can't comment there.&#xA;I observe similar behaviour of my 7 year old when she has not been engaged in an activity that fully envelops her OR involves the family. We make it a point to have such activities accessible (i.e. she can get them without an adult) and scheduled for her to remain engaged. On school days, 2 activities at 30 minutes tends to be enough. These include reading, doing work for Brownie badges, tag / chase / monster-monster, math/puzzle activity books, coloring pages and board games. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24777" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T03:17:17.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27437" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26698" CreationDate="2016-10-14T03:40:21.033" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 17 year-old daughter's boyfriend is the son of someone I've worked with for years. He's a great kid, a talented athlete, and in the top 10% of his senior class, but he's painfully shy and socially awkward. My daughter is as well, but to a far lesser degree. We've let him become comfortable with us at his own pace, and he has.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assume the best of her, give her some space.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T03:40:21.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27438" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="26698" CreationDate="2016-10-14T07:41:38.690" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Yes, it is disrespectful. They are teenagers .. it happens.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should call them on it.  When they come over, and you see them walk in, cheerfully say hi, and perhaps offer something to eat or drink. If she says hi back, great.  If she doesn't, you have every right to follow them downstairs and explain to your son that you do not appreciate being ignored and that you take it as disrespectful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also call her out directly, but I don't see the point as she is not your child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the disrespect continues, it is perfectly reasonable to tell him that she is not welcome in your home if she is unwilling to treat his parents with respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also not allow the skipping dinner, at least by your son.  He does not get to not be a member of your family because she it over. She is of course welcome to join you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As an aside -- my real concern would be about what is going on in the basement.  I have a 24 year old daughter .. when she was in high school we had strict rules about boys in the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;We had to know they arrived and when they left - no sneaking around.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They were never to be behind closed doors alone. Ever.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No visitors of the opposite sex when we (parents) were not home. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;No visiting the homes of young men without parental presence.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You should be going down there frequently, offering them drinks or snacks, asking if they need anything, inviting her for dinner, and so forth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1004" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T07:41:38.690" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27440" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-14T10:47:13.680" Score="2" ViewCount="4174" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8-year-old son won't poo in the school. He knows that he can do it, but when he is at school, he poos in his pants. I feel like I am not getting anywhere. I just need some advice please.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24778" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-12T16:55:08.173" LastActivityDate="2018-09-13T01:17:35.230" Title="My 8-year-old son won't go to the toilet at school" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|encopresis|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27442" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27426" CreationDate="2016-10-14T19:28:08.140" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, divorce is set up so that as the noncustodial parent, you have very limited opportunities for meaningful impact due to limited time with the kids.  Here are a few things you can do on and with your schedule:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I.  Keep up with your kids' school.  Schedule at least one one on one meeting of at least half an hour with each teacher at the beginning of each semester.  Initially this will be to understand what's expected in the grade and where your child stands; later it will be to ensure that the teacher understands your child's needs.  Make sure the school sends you report cards and preferably any other communications as well.  In my state, the law requires the school to send duplicate information to both parents - including for example completed and graded homework - but you still have to push the school to ensure they actually comply.  Don't be afraid to use the principal to help you apply pressure if the teacher - who would rather just deal with the one parent who brings the child to school - is resistant to including you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get your children - well, one child so far, but eventually both - to bring their schoolwork to you and talk to them about it.  Make sure one of the days on each weekend you have is just for fun and enjoyment with the kids, but don't be afraid to set aside time on the other day - to help out with things the kids are having trouble with.  This time can be leveraged by keeping up with the kids' progress with the teacher on a more frequent basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;II.  Make sure you get some regularly scheduled one on one time with each kid.  Don't be afraid to hire a babysitter for a few hours for one of the two kids while you are with the other one.  Given you have the kids only every other weekend, I'd recommend a 2-3 hour chunk with each kid during that weekend.  For example, you could hire a sitter for 5 hours, go do something with your son for 2.5 hours, then go do something with your daughter for 2.5 hours.  Initially your son may need more time since he is older and needs his father more.  Find a good sitter that your kids like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;III.  If and when your ex needs or wants financial help with the kids, offer help in kind, not in cash.  For example, you could select and buy clothes for the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;IV.  Take the kids when your ex doesn't want them.  There will be times when your ex would rather dump the kids on someone else.  If you're always available for her to dump them on, you get extra time with them.  That helps provide the continuity that would enable you to have more impact.  Perhaps you can eventually negotiate extra time, so that you can have some weekly contact at a regular time instead of every other week.  Maybe you can negotiate some evenings where you split the kids, giving you some scheduled one on one time during the week.  You ex likely wants some one on one time with each kid, too, so this might not be as hard to negotiate as you might imagine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;V.  Consider scheduling coordination time with your ex every couple of weeks, possibly with a counselor to keep disagreements from getting out of hand.  That way you can be working toward the same goals with the kids to the extent that you agree on those goals.  That could extend your impact beyond the time you personally have with the kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T19:28:08.140" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27443" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12261" CreationDate="2016-10-14T21:00:21.820" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am an high functioning autistic adult and as a teenager I had situations with my mother where the expression on her face was  so hilarious when she was angry and her eyes looked wild and were bulging out her of her head as she kept ranting and pointing, I burst out laughing and it made her even more angry. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and I started dribbling from my mouth. I was hysterical. I think the look on your face was what made her laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24782" LastActivityDate="2016-10-14T21:00:21.820" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27444" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-14T22:04:52.197" Score="1" ViewCount="499" Body="&lt;p&gt;My child is continuously acting up at school. Almost daily she comes home with a bad note about how she wasn't nice to friends or being defiant. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried that, regardless of what actually happened, her &quot;track record&quot; is making things automatically her fault at school. I know she shouldn't hit or react in a physical way regardless it's just difficult getting her to really explain what happened so I can't be sure. She bit someone today and her teacher saw it. But anytime she has gotten in trouble I haven't heard anyone mention what started it. My daughter is no saint, but she hasn't had so much trouble until she started at this school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what to do anymore and I feel like a failure. Please help! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24783" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-17T16:05:08.527" LastActivityDate="2018-11-17T16:05:08.527" Title="How to make my preschooler stop acting out in school when I don't even know who started it?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|school|violence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27445" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-14T23:32:11.397" Score="3" ViewCount="9548" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4-year-old daughter got in trouble for biting today at school. She's been struggling behaviorally in school for a while now. I'm not sure if it's appropriate to take toys and TV from her and if so how long? I'm just sort of at my wits' end in general and I'm worried I may be punishing her the wrong way making things harder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24783" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-05-09T11:49:25.773" LastActivityDate="2019-08-12T01:19:50.040" Title="How do I punish my 4-year-old for biting at school?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|school|biting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27446" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27445" CreationDate="2016-10-15T04:00:44.467" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;At four, there's not a lot of point in &quot;later&quot; punishments.  Your child isn't thinking about long term consequences; she is acting in the moment, primarily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Issues like biting need to be handled in two parts.  One, they need to be handled &lt;em&gt;in situ&lt;/em&gt; when they occur.  That's going to be up to the daycare/school, of course, and you might want to talk to them about how they handle it at the time.  In particular, you can talk about how you and they can handle biting situations identically (when it occurs at home or out with you).  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, though, make sure that the daycare/school is doing the right thing when it happens; removing her from the situation, getting her to a calmer place, rather than attacking her mentally (or physically, god forbid) and making the situation worse.  She's biting because she's stressed and frustrated; they should be taking steps to reduce the stress in the situation, not increase it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two, you need to work with her to give her tools to handle being frustrated.  That is something many children struggle to deal with; often the options are lash out or bottle it up inside, and neither of those are good (and I'd say bottling up is probably worse, at that age). Talk with her, at a relatively mature level, about how she can handle being frustrated.  Role play with her.  Show her in &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; behavior how to handle being frustrated, and point out to her both when you do so effectively &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; when you fail (afterwards, of course).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The key here is to treat this as something she needs to learn, not something she needs to be punished for. She is four years old, and having problems with something that many adults still have problems with (if not the precise same response, very similar).  Give her the tools to handle frustration now, and she'll be a much better person for it - and hopefully lessen, or stop, the biting incidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-10-15T04:00:44.467" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27452" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27440" CreationDate="2016-10-16T06:03:00.437" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a well-known condition that affects a certain (small) percentage of children. It is called &lt;em&gt;encopresis&lt;/em&gt;. The cause can be a variety of factors. But basically they boil down to four main types of causes as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Physiological&lt;/strong&gt; -- &quot;Holding&quot; can create a blockage in the intestines due to dried / encrusted waste not moving properly through the tube. This blockage causes newly made waste in the intestines to have a hard time exiting. And sometimes it seeps around the blockage reducing or eliminating the child's control over his bowel functions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Behavioral&lt;/strong&gt; -- Believe it or not, some children just &lt;em&gt;choose&lt;/em&gt; to poop their pants. They can control it. But they, for whatever reason, just simply &lt;em&gt;prefer&lt;/em&gt; soiling themselves over using the toilet. And they make the &lt;em&gt;behavioral&lt;/em&gt; choice to do so. There can be a variety of reasons that I will leave you to speculate about on your own and I will not comment further here.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Developmental&lt;/strong&gt; -- There is some evidence that when a traumatic event occurs to a child, it can cause the child to slow or stop their development at whatever stage the child was when the traumatic event occurs. If this happens during a child's potty training stage, it can cause or be a contributing cause of encopresis.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Psychological&lt;/strong&gt; -- There is a school of thought that postulates psychological factors can cause encopresis. Mostly stemming from control issues. You have possibly heard of the term &lt;em&gt;anally retentive&lt;/em&gt;? The opposite of that term is called &lt;em&gt;anally expulsive&lt;/em&gt;. This stems from some of Freud's psychoanalysis which many in the field classify as &lt;em&gt;pop psychology&lt;/em&gt; and not rooted in science or research.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice to you is as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Take him to a doctor&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; to see if their are any physiological issues that need to be addressed. Your family pediatrician can then refer you to a GI specialist if necessary.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, you can identify any &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;behavioral component&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; that might exist by trying, for example, a reward-based incentive approach to see if you can induce any different behavioral choices.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If available, consider having him speak to a &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;therapist or clinician&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; who can evaluate whether there might or might not be any psychological component to the problem.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do further &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;independent research&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; to educate yourself on the condition. Again, the word for it is called: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;encopresis&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17657" LastEditorUserId="17657" LastEditDate="2018-09-13T01:17:35.230" LastActivityDate="2018-09-13T01:17:35.230" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27453" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-16T06:10:39.820" Score="5" ViewCount="614" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found a (seemingly) perfectly good slice of pizza in the trash. I became curious. So I asked both children if they did it. Both denied it. There is one other adult in the house. After questioning, I eliminated the other adult as a suspect. I know I did not do it (because it is not the type of thing I would do and I'm 99.9% certain I would remember doing it if I had). So that leaves two remaining suspects. Both children. (Ages 10 and 13). Both deny doing it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously, my concern here is not over the pizza itself but over the fact that someone is clearly lying to me. I questioned both suspects separately, then together, then separately again for approximately 30 minutes hoping one would &quot;break&quot; and confess. Neither did. I suspect one more than the other (call it 80-20) based on intuition and prior history (he lied last year about homework). But he vehemently denies throwing away the pizza to the end; neither suspect cracked an inch.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, a goal here is a learning experience. For example, there might come a time in the future when I have to determine which child is lying to me. So, I am searching for any &quot;tells&quot; or other behavior patterns that might be helpful in the future as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has anyone else experienced a situation like this before? If so, how did you handle it and what was the outcome? Other ideas and/or advice is also welcome.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17657" LastEditorUserId="17657" LastEditDate="2016-10-17T21:07:36.567" LastActivityDate="2016-10-17T21:07:36.567" Title="Who is lying about throwing away a slice of pizza?" Tags="|lying|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27454" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27453" CreationDate="2016-10-16T11:56:23.747" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am not sure if the following is a good idea but I have tried it in the past: declare martial law and have them both grounded, the one who will take it easily is the guilty one.&#xA;The innocent one will try to resist as he/she has done nothing wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11157" LastActivityDate="2016-10-16T11:56:23.747" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27456" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27453" CreationDate="2016-10-16T18:26:39.007" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;The reason children lie is generally that they fear punishment.  One way of getting the truth which I've used is to make it clear that no punishment is in the offing.  In this case, you could say that there's nothing wrong with putting the pizza in the trash, but you just wanted to know why it was done - not enough refrigerator space, yucky pizza, or whatever - since that might affect what you do about it, such as whether to clean out the refrigerator or to order from a different pizza provider or order something other than pizza next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-16T18:26:39.007" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27457" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2016-10-16T19:57:06.607" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My granddaughter (who is 3 years old) has what I call phobia of getting her clothes wet. If any liquid wets her clothes she panics and I have to change her. Same thing with her hair. I have tried everything. She doesn't like wet hair on her back, can't stand the shower, doesn't want her face wet you name it. So what I do now is tell her specifically...I am washing your hair today and even though she doesn't want to she knows I am going to protect her face by telling her to tilt her head back while I wash her hair. I also let her know  when I am almost finished and I have a towel ready to wipe her face. It is difficult to understand how she feels so I try to be gentle. You don't have to wash their hair every day. Set a time and day that your child might agree with and make it look like it is that day. Strong will children do better when they think they are in control. Be understanding and patient. Good Luck &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24797" LastActivityDate="2016-10-16T19:57:06.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27458" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7222" CreationDate="2016-10-16T22:30:49.963" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a sixteen-year-old druid, and I had to go through this, as well. I actually haven't told my parents that I am a druid, but what I told them was that I didn't want to be a confirmed christian. My mother freaked out, and is constantly trying to convert me. Whether you tell them directly that you are a druid or just that you aren't a christian, stick to your beliefs. Don't let them think they are convincing you otherwise, just to make things easier, because they will just be encouraged and keep it up. If you stay true to what you really believe, they will, eventually and hopefully, see that you are serious, and that you have made your decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that. It is your decision, not theirs. No matter what they tell you, they cannot change what is in your heart. My friend (also a druid) was forced to get confirmed. That doesn't mean she's a christian. Ceremonies and other peoples' statements don't define your beliefs - you do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24799" LastActivityDate="2016-10-16T22:30:49.963" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27459" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27445" CreationDate="2016-10-17T03:40:13.917" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are making a mistake by focusing on punishment. Your goal is a better response to frustration. Punishment might be a part of your plan, but then again, it might not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need as much information as you can get about what led up to the problem an how the school handled it. Then you need to work with your daughter to react in an appropriate way. Repeated role-play with her, going through the situations so she can practice how to deal with her frustrations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2016-10-17T03:40:13.917" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27461" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-17T06:05:12.900" Score="5" ViewCount="526" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old son acts very arrogantly, throwing things and shouting loudly, to people who oppose him for whatever he does.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;How can I teach him not to do this? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24802" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T12:21:09.270" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T12:21:09.270" Title="My son's arrogant behaviour" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27463" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27461" CreationDate="2016-10-17T13:19:16.823" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing to remember is that he is 3.  He's at a stage where he is learning about emotions, how to interact with others and how to express his own desires and preferences.  And like most toddlers, expressing himself, especially when he isn't getting what he wants, comes in the form of shouting &quot;NO&quot; and sometimes violence.  Remember to be understanding and calm with him.  This is your time as a parent to help him through a frustrating time and teach him appropriate behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he begins to act out, your first step should be to eliminate any danger he poses to himself or others.  That might involve taking away anything he could throw or removing him from the situation to someplace more peaceful.  Next, get him calmed down.  That might be talking to him or giving him a hug.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once he's calm, talk to him.  Acknowledge his feelings of frustration (&quot;I realize you are angry because you can't have a cookie&quot;).  This helps him learn the vocabulary to express himself.  Then make it clear that the way he reacted isn't appropriate (&quot;Even though you are angry, we don't throw things, that could hurt Mommy&quot;).  Then show him an appropriate outlet for his feelings (&quot;When you get angry, tell me you are mad and why&quot; or &quot;next time you feel angry, try going into another room and giving your teddy bear a hug&quot;).  Finally, give him a hug and assure him you still love him.  It's important for him to understand that while you aren't pleased with his behavior, you still care about him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, try to model appropriate behavior when you can.  When you get angry, talk to yourself so he can hear what is going on in your head.  &quot;When that guy cut me off in his car, that made me so mad.  But I'm going to take 3 deep breaths and let it go.&quot;  Toddlers imitate their parents.  Give him a good example to mimic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just as a reminder, this won't get fixed in one go.  You will have to do this a lot before it gets resolved (and he moves on to something else that will drive you nuts).  Just keep at it and &lt;em&gt;be consistent&lt;/em&gt;.  You'll get through it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-10-17T13:19:16.823" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27464" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="7222" CreationDate="2016-10-17T14:26:58.107" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest quietly practicing your religion for a while and seeing where it gets you. You may find the people you meet in person or online are just as hypocritical as those you are trying to avoid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In Christianity, &quot;all are welcome.&quot; Catholocism, for instance, promotes a strong environmental advocacy and places charity, hope, and love at the top of its hierarchy. Although homosexual acts are considered a &quot;grave&quot; sin, all sins may be forgiven through Confession. This is just an example of how your belief system might not be incompatible with Christianity. Furthermore, while 20% of the American population report some degree of same-sex attraction at puberty, that number is cut in half by 25, and only 2% will live a homosexual lifestyle long term. And for the occasional threesome is what Confession is for. [I'm being glib; my point is when it comes time for you to start a family, there is an extremely high likelihood you'll want to be in a heterosexual, monogamous relationship.]&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The teenage and young-adult years are for experimenting. Does your mom know about all the other things you may have experimented with? Are you planning on going to college? Unless you're &quot;caught in the act&quot; you might simply make it something &quot;off the record&quot; with her, similar to things like masturbation and marijuana. (Now some teens keep their parents in the loop about everything, but if this is your case, you probably wouldn't be asking.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If and when it becomes obvious your lifesryle/faith are Druidic, I'll just throw a number out and say five more years, then you will be far more mature about the whole ordeal. It would definitely help to match it with something like straight As for a term.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastEditorUserId="20507" LastEditDate="2016-10-17T15:12:01.950" LastActivityDate="2016-10-17T15:12:01.950" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27466" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27444" CreationDate="2016-10-17T22:28:06.003" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child probably feels that the situation at the preschool is uncomfortable or threatening.  Possibly the people the school wants her to consider &quot;friends&quot; are actually people she doesn't like.  Perhaps the way the preschool is trying to control her behavior sets off contrariness in her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest doing two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your child and see if you can get her view of the situation.  She may not be anxious to talk about it, but you may still be able to get some information, especially if you say that you will try to make things better for her at the school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Then, arrange an appointment to talk to the school about the situation.  Tell them that you want to figure out together what you can do at home and what they can do at school to improve your child's behavior at the school.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, with your knowledge of your child, you'll be able to get a better handle on what is causing the misbehavior, and you'll be able to work out with the school some strategies to help improve things for your child and to help make her behavior better for the school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-17T22:28:06.003" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27467" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27468" CreationDate="2016-10-17T23:19:11.020" Score="10" ViewCount="1942" Body="&lt;p&gt;There is a very &lt;a href=&quot;https://superuser.com/q/545329/507566&quot;&gt;popular question&lt;/a&gt; where a father says:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My kids (4 and 5) yell a lot when playing games on the computer. I&#xA;  found an effective cure for this. When I hear loud noises, I [remotely] turn off the screen for 15&#xA;  seconds on Linux. I've told them that the computer doesn't like loud&#xA;  noises. They totally believe this and beg the computer for&#xA;  forgiveness. They became much quieter, but not to the level that I&#xA;  would be happy, and so I need to continue this educational process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The dad proceeds to automate the process, making the computer do it automatically whenever it detects noise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I thought this was a really cool idea for teaching the kids to be quiet. However, one user &lt;a href=&quot;https://superuser.com/questions/545329/how-do-i-make-a-machine-blank-screen-for-a-period-of-time-as-a-penalty-if-ce#comment662816_545329&quot;&gt;commented&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Instead of using negative reinforcement, what most of the times leads&#xA;  not to the behavior you expect, you should try positive reinforcement,&#xA;  i.e. reward them when silent. See, your approach teaches me the&#xA;  following: I'm loud when I'm emotional -&gt; Being loud is bad -&gt; being&#xA;  emotional is bad -&gt; being vocal about emotions is bad -&gt; it's best to&#xA;  have no emotions or suppress them as good as possible -&gt; good luck&#xA;  with any relationship (because saying &quot;I love you&quot; is so easy) -&gt;&#xA;  congratulations on ruining your child's life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The comment has 33 upvotes. That is not so much on such a popular question, but still, I couldn't help but wonder whether there's some truth to it. Is this a danger that seriously needs to be considered when we're dealing with such young children?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22355" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-06-27T13:32:32.580" LastActivityDate="2019-06-27T13:32:32.580" Title="Can having a computer game temporarily go blank when kids are too loud have adverse emotional effects?" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|video-games|noise|emotional-development|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27468" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27467" CreationDate="2016-10-18T01:31:33.773" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a tricky question to answer. In my opinion, I think the comment is a bit exaggerated because a child would generally be able to differentiate between a computer and a person and know that it only applies to computers. However I would not turn off the computer screen while they are playing, as they could be in the midst of playing and turning the screen off would ruin their progress if the game is timing based (such as racing). Otherwise, their excitement will turn into anger, and that would be much harder to control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestion is to pause the game if the sound goes over a threshold (&lt;strong&gt;only if this is not realtime online multiplayer&lt;/strong&gt;) and then turn off or flash the screen. If that is not possible (because such mechanism is almost impossible to implement on flash games), make the computer display a flashing warning and a beep sound that tells the child to be quiet, but make sure this does not interfere or inhibit gameplay. (However a possible side effect with the beeping sound is the kids could make an excuse where they are allowed to be loud since the computer is allowed to be loud, so keep that in mind.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, personifying the computer and lying to a child that a computer screen turns off when voice goes over a threshold is a dangerous idea. Firstly, he would misunderstand how computers work, and this incorrect information can damage his knowledge and others' knowledges which potentially affect tests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, the child could be smart and realise from other children that you were the one who did this. And they would be upset that you lied to them and won't trust you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So overall, that comment isn't wrong and the OP's solution to loud noise is not very good at all. Follow the comment or follow my suggestion which is a modification to the OP's concept.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Edit: Another comment I saw there was very interesting. The OP's idea has a loophole based on manipulative behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Wait, doesn't this mean that if one child is playing the game, the other can yell and stop them from playing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With my solution, this loophole won't be as effective. You may need to record the voices with a voice recorder so you can determine who is yelling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23413" LastEditorUserId="23413" LastEditDate="2016-10-20T00:01:15.877" LastActivityDate="2016-10-20T00:01:15.877" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27469" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27307" CreationDate="2016-10-18T04:24:09.243" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our son was doing the exact same thing. We asked his pediatrician and she said that's fine for someone his age. Just make sure they get the recommended total amount of sleep, which is 10-13 hours (depending on the child.) We started putting him to bed earlier at night (730pm) and he's been doing better. (We were putting him to bed at 9 with a 75 minute nap.) If he's really tired, then off to be at 630 or 700.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just recently he stopped sleeping at school, although he comes home tired from all the activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24815" LastActivityDate="2016-10-18T04:24:09.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27470" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27074" CreationDate="2016-10-18T04:42:24.050" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Chapter 7 of &lt;em&gt;How To Raise an Adult&lt;/em&gt; by Julie Lythcott-Haims refers to a few studies that addresses the unstructured play vs structured play, which Montessori seems to favor more over very rigidly defined activities. Unstructured play (not totally, but within reason) boosts executive brain function which helps them determine which action to take to achieve their goals. (&lt;a href=&quot;http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00593/full&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00593/full&lt;/a&gt;) Kids with better executive brain function generally do better in school and life. &lt;a href=&quot;http://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's what jumped out at me so far having made it to chapter 9. It's a good book so far.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Montessori also teaches social skills, which sure seem to be lacking in many kids today. As someone who hires people, I'd rather hire someone with good social and professional skills.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son is in a Montessori school now (for two years) and I can see that it doesn't fit well with some kids' temperaments and learning types. I don't think any one-size-fits-all learning approach will work for all kids regardless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24815" LastActivityDate="2016-10-18T04:42:24.050" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27472" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27129" CreationDate="2016-10-18T14:35:00.640" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It was primarily a phase.  After my DLO got used to preschool, the disorganized attachment went away.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But correlation does not prove causation, nor does &lt;em&gt;post hoc&lt;/em&gt; prove &lt;em&gt;proctor hoc&lt;/em&gt;.  So I'm leaving the question open at this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7790" LastActivityDate="2016-10-18T14:35:00.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27473" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27467" CreationDate="2016-10-18T15:12:39.203" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Cheating your children into discipline is a very very bad idea, regardless which technique was used or how clever it might sound.  One day this will backfire because your children will follow the example you are setting and will start cheating YOU!  It will definitely increase distrust between you and your children and eventually destroy your relationship with your children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Instead, you need to communicate clear rules or &quot;boundaries&quot; as mentioned in &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0310243157&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Boundaries with Kids&lt;/a&gt; and you should stick to your &quot;boundaries&quot; and not allow the children to cross it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You as the parent's role is to TEACH your children to respect authority.  It does not come automagically.  Remember, the police, government and even his/her future boss will be not as &quot;nice&quot; as you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know every person on this forum has a different opinion on what is right and what is wrong and we can debate forever on this subject.  At the end what matter is your relationship with your child and what are you teaching your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you teach your child to respect authority?  Or do you teach your child it is okay to lie and cheat like a criminal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24817" LastEditorUserId="24817" LastEditDate="2016-10-20T08:02:48.817" LastActivityDate="2016-10-20T08:02:48.817" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27477" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-19T11:58:48.130" Score="123" ViewCount="27774" Body="&lt;p&gt;Last December we were victims of a vehicle accident that killed my husband and left my son severely brain damaged. My daughter who is 12 and will be 13 in couple months was the only one in our vehicle that didn't sustain any life threatening injuries (only a broken foot). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ever since, she seems to be full of hate, never listens, comes and goes as she pleases, back talks and cusses me out, bragging how good her life was when her brother and I were in a coma fighting for life. Wishing we died blaming me for everything, and always complaining how bad her life is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind she is on the school cheer team, gets straight A's in school, and by far never goes without. I've tried and tried to get her to go to counseling but the only response I get is &quot;you can make me go but don't expect me to say a word&quot;. I don't even know who my little girl is anymore and I'm desperate to fix it before its too late .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24826" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2016-10-24T14:20:12.343" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T04:14:31.347" Title="What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?" Tags="|discipline|pre-teen|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="12" CommentCount="10" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27478" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-19T13:42:41.383" Score="208" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I've tried and tried to get her to go to counseling but only response I get you can make me go but don't expect me to say a word.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, make her go. Therapists have a way of getting people to talk, and while it may not &quot;cure&quot; her, it certainly can't hurt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not excusing her behavior; I'm sure it's extremely painful and confusing. From her perspective, though, her whole family (unless there are others) died/almost died and she got out with relatively little damage. That age is hard to begin with, then something very bad happened. She lost her father, and her brother as she knew him, and almost lost you. She may have severe abandonment issues, survivor's guilt, etc. But it's clear she has a lot of unresolved emotional conflict over the event. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She needs an outside party, preferably a professional, to discuss her feelings with. It's incredibly boring to sit in a room without talking for 50 minutes. It's very likely she'll start to talk, and when she does, she'll be talking with someone who knows some ways to help her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think this is something you should try to deal with alone. Give her this and a lot of time (the fact that she's still getting As in school and cheering is a good sign.) You might also consider visiting a therapist yourself to help you understand possible reasons for your daughter's (re)actions, and help with how to cope with the hurtful behavior she's exhibiting. This is the only advice I can think of to give. I wish you all peace.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-10-19T13:42:41.383" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27480" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-19T16:58:06.893" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It may be that the only way to get her to go to a therapist is to make it something that you'll do with her.  Sometimes, the best way to get two people to talk to each other is to put them in a room with a therapist who can hopefully guide the discussion.  This may not be successful on the first or second or third therapy visit.  But if you give it some time, there's a good chance that it will help improve your relationship with your daughter. The hope is that eventually, your daughter will want to meet with the therapist without you, to tell her side of the story.  that would be a major milestone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24829" LastActivityDate="2016-10-19T16:58:06.893" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27481" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-19T19:01:45.770" Score="90" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My daughter...was only one in our vehicle that didn't sustain any life threatening injuries (only a broken foot)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter suffered a &lt;em&gt;severe&lt;/em&gt; trauma. Such events don't necessarily leave physical signs, but they are absolutely life threatening if left untreated. Suicide is a real threat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you took your daughter to a doctor to get her broken foot set because she was exhibiting signs of pain, then you should take your daughter to a doctor to get her emotions set because, as you've already described, &lt;em&gt;she's exhibiting signs of pain&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's important to be aware, and also to remind your daughter that none of this is her fault, and none of this is punishment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she had cut her finger severely and was telling you she didn't need to go to the hospital for stitches, I imagine you wouldn't hesitate to overrule her because &lt;strong&gt;you're her mother and you care about her well being and need to make sure there's no lasting damage&lt;/strong&gt;. The exact same logic applies here. If she doesn't like it, that's OK. She's twelve.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get a referral for a psychologist from your primary care physician &lt;em&gt;yesterday&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Ask specifically for someone with experience treating childhood trauma.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Get another referral for a psychologist from your primary care physician, this one's for you. You also suffered a severe trauma, and you need to make sure that you're OK as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And last of all, I am just a random stranger on the internet. Please consult an actual professional and follow their advice over mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1055" LastEditorUserId="1055" LastEditDate="2016-10-26T15:44:30.377" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T15:44:30.377" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27484" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-20T11:58:03.503" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might be worth considering that, given her age, your period of absence, her academic performance and that she seems to fit in well at school, the problem might be partially on your end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At her age, kids start to grow independent. She isn't there by far, and isn't supposed to, and her lack of emotional maturity is obvious, but still she has to develop as an independent adult and has only got a few years left to do so. Normally, kids go through this fase together with their parents, changing (often painfully) in tandem, but because of your absence she has been forced to change too quickly and you are still stuck in the parent-of-a-little-girl mindset. You are coming in and reasserting control as if she's much younger than she is, pushing her away even further.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is something that you have to work on together. And who knows, maybe your daughter might be more receptive to counselling if you make it clear you are going as well, and that it isn't her fault per se. (That said, some things are simply not okay, like how she's handling her brother's situation. And, assuming it wasn't your fault, the accident and how she deals with her survivor's guilt. But I don't think you can fix that before your relationship is fixed and there's still time.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24843" LastActivityDate="2016-10-20T11:58:03.503" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27485" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27498" CreationDate="2016-10-20T12:07:24.867" Score="5" ViewCount="234" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would like to gift a Disney-themed item to a Dutch child (Turning 3 in May). However, I'm buying this present in the USA, so everything will be in English.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Should I stay away from English-speaking plushies or English books, or will it be fine to gift something like this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I remember having a talking Pooh when I was little and I loved it, so I would love to give something similar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23933" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-07T16:01:36.333" LastActivityDate="2018-11-07T16:01:36.333" Title="English present for a non-English child?" Tags="|toddler|language|presents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27487" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-20T17:29:48.797" Score="-16" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sell/give away all her stuff including clothes and provide her with only the bare minimum, jeans and white t-shirts. As she behaves, then slowly giver he stuff that she likes. If you are feeling generous, you can put her stuff in storage but don't tell her. Slowly take it out as she behaves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teens sense of identity is inexorably linked to fashion, and there could be no worse punishment you could inflict. As she learns (or relearns) proper etiquette, she will get rewarded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is advice in a book by a doctor  &lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/0878339639&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https://www.amazon.com/Defiant-Child-Parents-Oppositional-Disorder/dp/0878339639/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6106" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-10-21T21:34:32.933" LastActivityDate="2016-10-21T21:34:32.933" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27488" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-20T17:45:13.340" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am again going to plug Art Therapy for trauma, grief and loss, among other things. Some things are difficult to talk about for any one. Adults self-censor, young children don't have the conceptual framework or vocabulary for talk therapy. Making art is itself therapeutic, and is a universal language. A trained Art Therapist will be able to help your daughter work through her issues in a safe, contained space, that does not release more &quot;demons&quot;. She can go, and she doesn't have to &quot;say a word&quot;, although she probably will before long. A good therapist will gently and gradually establish a trusting relationship with her and coax her out. Yes, &quot;make her&quot; go. Eventually the resistance will disappear as she finds that it is a positive rather than a negative experience for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24593" LastActivityDate="2016-10-20T17:45:13.340" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27489" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27467" CreationDate="2016-10-20T18:57:53.090" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Comment seems to be hyperbolic, overly dramatic and maybe in need of some emotion restraint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Turning off a screen for 15 seconds on a computer game when the kids get very loud is &quot;ruining&quot; their lives? Please. Are they being scolded? Hit? Berated? On the &quot;negative reinforcement&quot; spectrum this is very mild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;How about some positive reinforcement for being quiet&quot; - the computer game stays on.  That's positive reinforcement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here is another possible interpretation of what this method of behavior modification probably teaches them - 1) When I get louder than is appropriate for game play inside the house, the game reminds me with a very brief time out 2) Appropriate game play will be uniterrupted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess it's all about one's personal perspective and viewpoint.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-10-20T18:57:53.090" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27492" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-20T21:30:15.883" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I concur with those who suggest you send her to therapy, even though she's resisting it.  It will help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In addition, I recommend this book:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses&lt;/em&gt; &#xA;by John W. James, Russell Friedman, Leslie Matthews&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It will give you some insight into why she's acting out the way she is.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24854" LastActivityDate="2016-10-20T21:30:15.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27493" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3817" CreationDate="2016-10-20T22:32:36.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have no answer but have noticed my baby now 8 weeks, gets upset when held by anyone wearing strong perfumes or scents ie strong smelling soap. I noticed it as when they would pass him back to me when he became upset, he would smell of perfume and it's the only common factor I can find for him being upset when held by someone. I don't think it's too uncommon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24856" LastActivityDate="2016-10-20T22:32:36.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27494" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27515" CreationDate="2016-10-21T01:37:48.433" Score="4" ViewCount="956" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a two year old who is occasionally intentionally disobedient.  She's quite well developed for her age and understands instructions given.  But at the dinner table she is often quite disobedient, particularly with throwing food around.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually what will happen is that she will grow bored with her dinner and pick up a piece of vegetable and throw it across the table.  We will tell her not to do that and in an act of defiance she'll pick another piece up, look straight at us, smile, and then throw the new piece of food, as if to say &quot;what are you going to do about it&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried time-out discipline and also threaten to not give her dessert (which is a threat we have followed up with on a number of occasions).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What else can we try and why is she doing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13687" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T20:00:02.413" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T20:00:02.413" Title="Two Year Old Being Intentionally Disobedient" Tags="|toddler|discipline|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27495" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="28903" CreationDate="2016-10-21T03:10:14.003" Score="3" ViewCount="276" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5yo and has recently started kindergarten. I would like to help him practice his handwriting but find he gets rather bored just copying letters I write for him. He does a little better when he tells me a phrase, I write it, and he copies it, but I'd like to find additional methods for improving his penmanship that are fun for him so he's less likely to get bored and give up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2017-02-09T19:31:18.930" Title="What methods can be used to improve handwriting?" Tags="|pre-schooler|primary-schooler|education|fine-motor-skills|handwriting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27496" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27497" CreationDate="2016-10-21T03:19:53.713" Score="2" ViewCount="613" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a two year old who is still in nappies and she will not do a poop outside the comfort of her own home.  This is despite spending two days a week at daycare (she loves going to daycare and sometimes asks to go when it's not a daycare day).  She's not toilet trained yet (though we have begun some work on this) and this has been happening for at least six to twelve months.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is this normal?  Is there anything we can do to help her feel comfortable enough to poo at daycare?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13687" LastActivityDate="2016-10-21T03:28:35.037" Title="Two Year Old Won't Toilet Outside of Home" Tags="|toddler|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27497" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27496" CreationDate="2016-10-21T03:28:35.037" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Some children value privacy and comfort when trying to have a bowel movement. You might observe if at home your daughter likes to go into the other room or a playhouse to do her business. It's quite possible the daycare doesn't have anywhere private enough for her to be comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If privacy isn't her concern, you may try to find out if she's prone to constipation. Perhaps she isn't drinking enough at preschool and without more fluids she may be unable to poop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2016-10-21T03:28:35.037" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27498" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27485" CreationDate="2016-10-21T03:33:47.890" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;If possible, it would be nice to ask the parents. They may want to delay the introduction to English until formal schooling in order to encourage better usage and avoid undermining primary language acquisition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's not possible to check with them first, it would not be too presumptuous to buy the gift. It's objectively unlikely to have any strong impact on language with few phrases repeated infrequently and I don't think anyone would be reasonably upset with you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1528" LastActivityDate="2016-10-21T03:33:47.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27499" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-21T07:09:35.273" Score="16" ViewCount="1935" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 59-years-old father who is keeping coming in my room for no good reason looking at my computer monitor, trying to find something to blame me for it. If I'm coding, he says &quot;Take care of your school, too. Life isn't all coding&quot;, if I'm playing he says &quot;Don't waste your time&quot;, and the worst possibility is if I'm watching a movie he keeps blaming me for 3-4 days for why I was watching until I bring the movie and let the whole family watch it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As you might know, some of the movies aren't made for &quot;FAMILIES&quot; and I do wanna see 'em. Recently, I've been watching BBT, where Sheldon mentions &quot;Someone is having sex with his girlfriend&quot; and my father been there. Now he is keeping blaming me for watch &quot;Pornography and nudity content&quot;!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I'm so sick of this, decided to leave the home taking any possible method when I turn 18 (4 months remaining until I turn 18), but I can't take it anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's the best solution that doesn't involve any escaping or being rude to my father?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to add&lt;/strong&gt;: please see my answer with updates.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23858" LastEditorUserId="2483" LastEditDate="2017-10-01T07:50:14.383" LastActivityDate="2017-10-01T14:18:57.920" Title="Parent breaking privacy 17-years-old" Tags="|teen|privacy|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27500" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-21T08:47:01.257" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I only have a few things to add to the other answers posted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention that she's an A student, with extra curricular activities.  The only &quot;out of control&quot; behavior you have mentioned is her behavior towards you.  I'm sure that that behavior is extremely hard for you to bear, but you're the adult in your relationship, and it's your job to be the mature one.  Try to understand where she's coming from.  At thirteen it's unlikely she has the vocabulary and emotional tools to cope with what she has been through.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact it's unlikely that you have the tools either, since our society doesn't really pay a lot of attention to that sort of thing.  We don't have courses in school on emotional resiliency and effective communication in relationships.  Most of our public role models are terrible in this regard.  That's why we have therapists.  Try to find a good one for yourself, and maybe they can help you cope.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think getting your daughter to therapy is an excellent idea.  I would first start going myself, since you are having an equally hard time as her, and try to encourage her by example.  If that doesn't work you can try dragging her, but an unwilling patient is likely to see less progress than a willing one, so that's a difficult decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Beyond therapy, my advice is to forgive her.  She's lashing out because she's in pain.  That's entirely natural and plenty of adults haven't learned any better coping mechanisms.  Your job now is try to help her learn those coping mechanisms -- and the best way you can do that is by providing a good example.    So just keep forgiving her and giving her unconditional positive regard (pay attention to her, listen to what she has to say, don't judge).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A teenager lashing out at their parents isn't particularly troubling behavior, even in the absence of the kind of trauma you've detailed.  So don't make it into anything troubling.  On the other hand, under the circumstances it seems to be an obvious indication of pain.  So ignore the fact that it's directed at you, and acknowledge, understand and try to feel her pain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she starts developing any really troubling behavior (suicidal tendencies, hard drug use, potentially dangerous lifestyle choices... ) then you might need to consider doing something about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13308" LastActivityDate="2016-10-21T08:47:01.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27503" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-21T13:00:23.917" Score="18" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with everything that has been said about counseling - do that first and foremost.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Her situation&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But let me add this: it is not unheard of for children in puberty to act like your daughter (and the age seems to fit). Obviously you cannot forget the impact of her trauma, but if you had left the story about your accident away and just told us this about your daughter:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;she seems to be full of hate, never listens, comes and goes as she pleases, back talks and cusses me out, bragging how good her life was when her brother and I were [away]. Wishing we died blaming me for everything, and always complaining how bad her life is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then my advice would maybe also to get counseling (family therapy / youth therapy), but on the other hand my advice would also have been that that &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; happen with pretty normal children, out of the blue sky, when they enter puberty.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Your situation&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So while you absolutely must see trauma counseling for your daughter, yourself, maybe both together (let the counselor help you find a good combination), I have an advice for yourself: it &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be that you are in for a quite long time span where your daughter behaves like this. It &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be that you will find it very hard indeed to change your daughter. Be glad that she seems to cope with the &quot;real world&quot; and only freaks out in the family. Try to see the good stuff, and allow her to become her own person. I know from experience that that can be &lt;em&gt;very&lt;/em&gt; hard to the extent that you can't seem to manage; and there &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; help out there. But it could well be that the behaviour of your daughter has always been in your future, and has just been accelerated by the accident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Especially shouting really evil things (like the wish that you should die) is a well-known trope - children hardly know what they are saying, in those situations, and will utter things that are ridiculously hormone-driven nonsense. Unfortunately, when emotions are high, it is hard to see that, and especially intelligent children like your daughter have a knack to hit where it hurts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can either fight with her for the next 10 years. Or work hard on yourself to find a way to cope with that behaviour/mindset without taking more harm yourself than you already did. If you find a good therapist for the trauma issue, even if they work mainly with your daughter, be sure to get a sitting or two with them alone. They should be able to help you getting over the initial shock of your daughter changing in this way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you do, get all the help you can. In addition to counseling, maybe you can intensify her contacts with same-age friends (ask her to invite them to stay over, more often, etc.); maybe you find distant family that can do stuff with your daughter in her free time, and so on. Maybe there is some youth centre in your city where you can introduce your daughter and give her a group of new friends. Maybe you find new hobbies where she can live out her energies (music, dancing...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As others said, I'm just a person on the net. Your counselor should overrule whatever you read here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;She is not you&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Puberty is high time to put a clear separation between your child and yourself. You have to see and acknowledge that problems that your child has are not automatically your problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note, as it has been commented on: When I say &quot;their problems are not your problems&quot; I mean that you should not try to &quot;own&quot; their problems. You do not need to *solve* all their problems for them. You should still love them, be open for them, help them with whatever they need, but allow them to grow from solving their own challenges wherever they can.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;she seems to be full of hate&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is her problem, do not make it yours. You can help her solve it (by sending her to counseling etc.), but don't let her hate affect you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;never listens&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;100% normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid the need for her to listen to you. This means you stop telling her what to do on a day-to-day basis (i.e., no &quot;it is cold, wear a thicker sweater&quot;, &quot;have you eaten/brushed your teeth/ etc.&quot;). We are not talking life-threatening things here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let her do a few things wrong, and the universe will tell her where some limits are (by getting a cold, getting bad teeth etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have a problem with TV/sweets consumption or the like, then talking is not a particularly good way to solve it. Plugs can be pulled, TVs can be removed, sweets can be left at the store, etc. ... or you decide that this is not a very important problem, and just let it go for now; or, if you are so inclined, indulge together with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Speaking of which, this is also a good time to ramp up her allowance while at the same time having her buy more stuff herself instead of buying it for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All of this means she takes on more responsibilities, which is what she wants, and it is a good thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;comes and goes as she pleases&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, this is something you will need to &quot;fight out&quot; with her. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Tell her a clear time span in which she can come and go as she pleases. Make sure that she tells you where she goes. Avoid any kind of discussion, and cut her as much slack as you can without it getting really dangerous. (She cannot go into a drinking place at night, obviously.) Keep it on a factual base.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;back talks and cusses me out&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Welcome to the club. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;bragging how good her life was when her brother and I were [away]. Wishing we died blaming me for everything, and always complaining how bad her life is. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hormones talking. She hurts and at that age she does not know a solution except to hurt someone else. Counseling will help to give her another outlet. Don't let it get to you, she is not herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And even if she &lt;em&gt;is herself&lt;/em&gt;, and it's not puberty, but she &lt;em&gt;really really&lt;/em&gt; means it, then you still do not let it get to you. It is her problem, not yours. Your job is to make sure she has ways to get out of her situation (by counseling and by staying open to her). You are of course allowed to let her know when she crosses lines, you are not supposed to &quot;flop over&quot; and just take a beating every day. But don't let it get to you, you have to protect yourself just as much as her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24863" LastEditorUserId="24863" LastEditDate="2016-10-27T18:42:13.983" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T18:42:13.983" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27504" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27522" CreationDate="2016-10-21T14:02:50.457" Score="2" ViewCount="330" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our family hasn't been on any long vacations in over a year (mostly because my wife became pregnant with our third last year). Now I am trying to convince my wife to go on one which entails a 7 hour road trip. She is reluctant because our 8 month old is a bit under weight, and she has been getting sick quite frequently in the past few months (mostly with colds, nothing major). She thinks the road trip will make the baby weaker and more prone to getting sick again. Is she right? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T14:05:50.600" Title="Will a road trip (travel) make an infant weaker and more prone to illness?" Tags="|infant|travel|sickness|weight|driving|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27505" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27499" CreationDate="2016-10-21T14:24:59.333" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know this is frustrating, but trust me, you will probably find yourself doing the same thing when you have a teenage child. Parenthood has a way of reorienting your priorities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On to more constructive points: maybe your 18th birthday is an opportunity to change the frame. Shortly after the actual birthday (I'd avoid spoiling the celebration with this) have a formal conversation with both of your parents. Make this a conversation you initiate at a time of your choosing (i.e. not when you are annoyed that your father has just walked into your room for the Nth time that day). Explain that you are an adult now, entitled to your own space and freedom to run your own life. Promise that you will keep whatever you do in their house legal and conforming to any significant rules they may have (e.g. on sex or alcohol), and ask that in return they respect your room as your space. In particular, they don't enter when you are not there, and when they do come in they knock first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-10-21T14:24:59.333" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27506" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-21T16:19:10.743" Score="3" ViewCount="5206" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm his older Sister, 15 years old and my Brother is only 13 years old. He has been very addicted to the computer, online games and apps on tablets. Although this may seem like a common problem for his age, I'm sincerely worried and tired of his attitude towards the people around him (including me) that had resulted due to his addiction.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe it started a few years ago, when he started to mix around with negative mindset people, and has since started to feel that he deserve much more for what he 'has' done so far. And hence ever since then he started to become demanding and not understanding towards my parents, he would compare my parents with his friends' parents; and asked them why he couldn't have a certain brand or game, like them. When we tried to explain to him nicely, he wouldn't listen, and always showed an attitude.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My mom will always be kind and understanding towards in, and I my opinion to forgiving towards him. She would often give way to him, by merely chiding him that there should not be a next time. But when my mom could not handle his gradually bad attitude, she would share with my dad, who only grown up with the method of being harsh. Hence, my father will be very strict and would came home sometimes, and had resulted in my brother being more violent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, when anyone tried to reduce his usage of computers, he would start to scream at us, even at my mom (who has a heart disease). He would then start to argue, and claim that we are unfair towards him. He would always give that look towards us, and make my mom flare up. This causes a war, almost literally. Somehow it always result in the same thing, him screaming at all of us, and we have to deal with his horrible attitude. He recently would even hit, kick and slap us, when we tried to hold him from running out of the house or from trying to hit my Mom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I do kind of understand where is point of view is coming from, like perhaps he wants 100% equality, and he doesn't believe in paying more respects to those older than him. And I also understand that perhaps it is really because he does not have a phone unlike me or my older sister, but really this is because he has not proven himself to be capable and worthy enough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But I'm so tired of his attitude, his shouting; and we have tried all methods within our means that I'm really at wits end!!:( I really really need advice, because even after all these I know he's still my one and only brother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24867" LastEditorUserId="40530" LastEditDate="2021-05-01T22:06:43.737" LastActivityDate="2021-05-01T22:06:43.737" Title="How do I change my Brother negative thinking, and bad attitude and addiction towards computer games" Tags="|discipline|video-games|screen-time|family|addiction|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27507" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-21T18:48:47.727" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a similar situation in my family and only looking for refuge in God we could be able to go out, handle and resist the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is hard test you passed and continue passing through in your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best therapy is become closer and closer to God, pray, pray and pray. Ask God for your family. Forgive, forgive and forgive. If you don't believe in God, in fateful day is the day you can begin to believe. When we feel good we forget think in God. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Look for medical/psychological help, but please go to look for spiritual guidance with a priest. Tell all what happened and request him to make an pray for you and your family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;God bless you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24870" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-10-21T23:19:56.743" LastActivityDate="2016-10-21T23:19:56.743" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27510" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10700" CreationDate="2016-10-22T04:04:18.347" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The AAP recently updated their guidelines to explicitly okay video chatting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/10/21/498550475/american-academy-of-pediatrics-lifts-no-screens-under-2-rule&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/10/21/498550475/american-academy-of-pediatrics-lifts-no-screens-under-2-rule&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Announces-New-Recommendations-for-Childrens-Media-Use.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Announces-New-Recommendations-for-Childrens-Media-Use.aspx?nfstatus=401&amp;amp;nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&amp;amp;nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4375" LastActivityDate="2016-10-22T04:04:18.347" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27511" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-10-22T11:26:21.290" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Look to the long-term aims, which I suggest are:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;a good adult to adult relationship in (say) ten years from now&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;freedom from traumatic harm&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first needs vast patience (prayer helps!), perhaps advice from books or in person - ideally from older single parents whose children have passed through an &quot;exciting&quot; puberty.  But choose one person you can trust, not multiple sources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second probably does need therapy - if you choose separate therapists, it may help if they are from the same practice and you both give them permission to talk to one another?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter - and you - would cope with it, it may help to discuss together the fact that this can't go on, neither of you is coping etc etc and to decide together what to do - recognising that whatever you do will have risks.  This might need therapy beforehand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wonder if her care while you were in a coma was less than ideal - maybe things were said or done which stoked the fire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24871" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-10-23T13:59:39.637" LastActivityDate="2016-10-23T13:59:39.637" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27512" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27461" CreationDate="2016-10-22T16:09:32.707" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The number thing in I found in parenting is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Keep yourself calm&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consistency. My advice extablish a routine of how you react, because it is too late to start when a toddler begins reaching for things they should not by saying no, no a firm tap on hands, not hitting them then go on to other things&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Respect your child, never scream at them for doing things, remain calm&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;NEVER laugh at him if he misbehaves&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need lots of patience, and if you ignore this problem he will get the idea a tantrum is an ok way to grab your attention&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would be sure there is something in his room to play with before you take him to his room because you do not want him to think its a reward... put him in his room and close door. Before putting him in his room move out anything he could hurt himself with. Place him on bed or on floor Talking to him owrpet or rug andsay  this is no way to act.  You may come out when you are ready to behave.  Immediately walk out and close door..be prepared for crying or whatever else he may do... &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After a few times of consistency being calm and doing this....it should subside...When he is calm or wakes from a nap later (he may get bored with no audience) take him in lap and rock him, tell him you love him very much amd that his behavior will result in being shut in his room.  Ask him after he is calm 2 questions: why he would rather act this way than to be playing and having fun.  What he woul think if you fell in the floor screaming instead of letting know what was wrong.  This must be done softly never joking or as though you do not expect an answer.  Sometimes an unexpected calmresponse lets him know you are in control and this is important&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A brother deals with having foster children from all backgrounds.  One the get a new girl age 6 or 7 the day before we were going o afun trip where kids  (his grandchildren, nieces, and the girl) would get to ride around with us in woods in golf carts...She periodically jumped up ab down crying for no reason, maybe all the strangers to her???  After winner roast and marshmallows we went inside, and she was standing near me whwn startered same behavior,,,i quietly asked she would to sit ib my lap and she crawled up ,,,after a bit she was calm and i tolh, i have a question for you.  Why do you not want to have fun like everyone else?  No one here is going to hurt you.  If you will not jump up and down anymore, you can have fun like everyone else is doing.  She nodded and let me rock her maybe 20 min longer, then crawled out of lapand no more jum[ing up and down cryibg,,,the calm caring words assured her she would be ok.  Later my bro thanked ne, and said they found the problem later was she thought she was being taken where she would never see her mother again,  Children are small people who need calmness from adults&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24872" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-10-23T13:58:00.543" LastActivityDate="2016-10-23T13:58:00.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27514" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27495" CreationDate="2016-10-23T03:46:38.550" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Make sure your child has a correct and comfortable pen grip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask your child's teachers what handwriting model they're using - you probably don't want to teach conflicting methods.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Immediately before your child starts writing anything they should, on a separate piece of paper, do a short set of hand &quot;warm up&quot; exercises. This will be a few WWW, UUU, mmm, ooo, CCC shapes. Not many, many 5 to 10 of each. (Start small, build up).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The website briem has some information about pen holding and handwriting repair. Watch out for that handwriting model though - it's a bit zig-zaggy.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://briem.net/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://briem.net/&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The website activityvillage has some nice downloadable worksheets that have a variety of hand writing exercises, from pre-handwriting readiness (tracing wavy lines) through to hand writing models.  &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/handwriting-worksheets&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/handwriting-worksheets&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-10-23T03:46:38.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27515" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27494" CreationDate="2016-10-23T08:42:09.553" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR: Children want boundaries. Help them self-regulate their behavior by making it a fun game involving points or a scoring system.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Why is she doing this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children need boundaries to feel secure.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The behavior you describe is your child requesting that you set her boundaries. At various points during their development, children will request boundaries in order to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;know they exist&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;discover exactly where they are and&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;find out what will happen if they cross them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Boundaries are like a psychological safety net for children. They &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; boundaries and &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; boundaries to feel secure and grow properly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, it is your job to establish these boundaries and enforce them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What else can we try?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can tell you two very effective techniques I began when my children were slightly older than yours. Both involve turning their behavior self-management into a type of game.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Behavior Meter&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing I did was the &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;behavior meter&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Basically, this was my thumb pointing an angle (up, down or in between). When my thumb pointed straight up, it meant their behavior was perfect. When it pointed straight down it meant their behavior was unacceptable and immediate consequences and corrective measures would always follow. In between was their signal to self-regulate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I first started it, the children could understand by my facial expressions and tone what the calibration was. Whenever their behavior would begin to slip, I would pull out my thumb and point it at whatever angle was corresponding to their behavior. Usually, this would be some angle just slightly off of vertical because I would do it quickly to give their self-management skills time to kick in before they got out of hand. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Their goal was to instinctively prevent the thumb from going down and to get it back up to straight up vertical as quickly as possible. This helped give them real time feedback without waiting until the behavior got so bad a punishment was necessary. They could self-regulate more effectively. It worked great.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Smart Kid Points&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second thing I did was to start &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;smart kid points&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Every time they did something good (or &lt;em&gt;smart&lt;/em&gt;) I gave them &lt;em&gt;smart kid points&lt;/em&gt;. Because let's face it, everyone enjoys earning &lt;em&gt;points&lt;/em&gt;. It's fun! For some reason humans seem universally programmed to want to earn &lt;em&gt;points&lt;/em&gt; and no amount of points is ever enough. So I used this fact to my/our advantage.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then when they asked if they could have something for Christmas I would check how many points they had then it would become a reward based system. I actually wrote down the points on a spreadsheet so I could show them how many they had whenever they asked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17657" LastEditorUserId="17657" LastEditDate="2016-10-23T15:21:16.763" LastActivityDate="2016-10-23T15:21:16.763" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27517" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27521" CreationDate="2016-10-23T16:12:17.103" Score="1" ViewCount="193" Body="&lt;p&gt;We are trying to avoid feeding our baby with animal based formula. Right now my wife is having trouble breastfeeding but still every day we try and it feeds the baby a bit, but he still needs more, so we go to Formula. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Right now he is drinking Similac Total Care (Level 1) but we would want to avoid offering ANY animal based formulas which in our opinion is not the normal way to go, but instead a formula that is better suited from natural sources.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24879" LastEditorUserId="24879" LastEditDate="2016-10-23T18:22:46.107" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T14:15:04.203" Title="Looking for a Non Animal Based Formula" Tags="|bottle-feeding|formula|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27519" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27545" CreationDate="2016-10-24T03:53:15.443" Score="10" ViewCount="804" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our house has some toys with which the child (3.5 years old) does not play. Some of them are broken, some aren't. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it a good idea if I make a deal with the toddler that she can get the new toys only if she donates the old ones to the poor children? Can this have any side effects?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One advantage of this may be that the house will never be cluttered because of toys!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I also want her to learn empathy. I want her to understand that many children are poor and if she has surplus toys she should donate so that others can play.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-10-26T13:10:58.527" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T21:06:54.583" Title="Is it a good idea to ask the pre-schooler to donate the old toys if she wants new ones? If not, then how to encourage her to donate willingly?" Tags="|pre-schooler|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27521" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27517" CreationDate="2016-10-24T11:25:05.613" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There exist a number of non-animal-milk based options, however none of these are &quot;better suited&quot; than animal based formulas because humans have been giving their babies animal milk as a backup to breast milk for thousands of years (since both are dairy products) and the vast majority of research and product development has been used to improve these common alternatives over other ideas like putting a baby on a plant-based diet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, some babies are actually allergic to dairy, so alternatives &lt;em&gt;do&lt;/em&gt; exist. You'll be looking for anti-allergic baby formula. The most common alternative to dairy is to use soy-milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are also some other alternatives posted in &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/90/are-there-any-non-soy-non-dairy-infant-formulas&quot;&gt;this answer&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Otherwise, consider talking to your pediatrician. They might be able to suggest other alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But don't be surprised if your pediatrician also recommends sticking with the regular dairy-based formula. It is the most natural and normal thing you can give an infant if you don't have enough breast milk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T11:25:05.613" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27522" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27504" CreationDate="2016-10-24T13:11:46.030" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is from a recent experience, not a pediatrician advice.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I have a 8.5 month old daughter, underweight. She had a slight cold at the time but she's usually pretty though (my wife caught a minor pneumonia while our daughter coughed twice...).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did a 6 hours trip one week ago. Both for our kid and us, we took a stop every 2 hours (it's a common recommendation for long car trip anyway). It drove the trips to 8 hours, but everything went smoothly. The first and third stops were for meals. The first one was for everyone and the third was just for our daughter afternoon meal. The second stop was just moving around, we got the kid out of the car and had her play a bit with us. The return trip was more or less the same with a slight variation : our kid ate before leaving, first stop was to move around, second stop was her afternoon meal, third stop was for our diner, but she sat with us and played a bit. In both case we gave her her bottle of milk when we arrived. As she is quite calm, she didn't complain even if it was late, so you might have to include a last timed stop to feed her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both trips went fine, she got back home better than she left. Keep your kid warm in the car (but not too much), give her toys adapted to her age. If you feel it might help keep a handkerchief with some menthol near her cosy to help with colds and such.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21004" LastEditorUserId="21004" LastEditDate="2016-10-24T14:05:50.600" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T14:05:50.600" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27524" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27495" CreationDate="2016-10-24T13:33:02.033" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;In order to improve handwriting your son should learn how to &lt;strong&gt;relax his hand&lt;/strong&gt;. I recommend following exercise:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Place a A3 size paper on a door or a wall. Give him a pen a ask to draw something like number 8 or call it snowman. Ask him to draw a cloud etc. Start from simple shapes and improve complexity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24894" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T13:33:02.033" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27525" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-24T14:12:23.000" Score="7" ViewCount="745" Body="&lt;p&gt;If you are a web developer parent, will you try to explain to your child your profession before he/she is old enough to understand computer science, e.g. via story-telling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or is it better to wait until he/she is old enough to teach them properly?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24893" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T13:29:35.663" Title="How to explain to young children what a web developer does" Tags="|education|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27526" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27525" CreationDate="2016-10-24T14:56:13.577" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a web developer I put together a simple &quot;Oregon Trail&quot; style text game that would run on a basic web server and then had my kid play it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then as he was doing that I started adding thing (images, other responses, etc) and showed them how it changed as I added more logic and parameters. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It gave them a basic understanding of how development worked and how I could change things by changing the logic (e.g. changing the output of a random number from 50/50 odds to 60/40 odds to 80/20 odds).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1582" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T14:56:13.577" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27527" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27525" CreationDate="2016-10-24T18:32:48.743" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I explained as soon as my kids were capable of asking, which for them was around age 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The explanation at that age was very simple:  &quot;I help put together web sites&quot;.  I think I used Youtube as an example of a web site.  I talked briefly about back end work versus front end work, since I do mostly back end work.  The answer seemed to satisfy them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T18:32:48.743" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27528" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27519" CreationDate="2016-10-24T19:19:08.607" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest her the idea, and see how she reacts to it. If she's a 100% in, Great! Otherwise, I might just suggest her to donate her toys(and not keep a condition that she gets new one &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;only if&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; she gives away old ones)- reason being, we never know what really goes in the little mind and it would be unfair to 'make' her give away her toys. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24902" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T19:19:08.607" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27531" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27506" CreationDate="2016-10-24T20:31:12.717" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;While I understand that you love your brother, and are very affected by how he acts, both toward you and your parents, I don't know if there is much that you can do.  If it were your parents asking, I would advise them to disable his computer altogether, or make it disappear.  That is extreme, but so is his behavior.  If your parents allow him to continue to have his way, and there are not consequences when he physically strikes people in order to get his way, things will only get worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is too bad that your father is modeling physical violence, and his son is imitating the father.  This also leads to very bad things later (I assume this because you say he is harsh and this makes your brother violent).  Physical punishment usually teaches little except violence.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my son is allowed to play computer games too much, he becomes sullen and uncaring of anything except getting back to his games.  Partly this is because when he is playing games with the other boys who play computer games all the time, their negativity feeds each other.  They are all trying to impress each other with how &quot;bad-a**&quot; they are and using profanity (also to impress each other, I think).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When his attitude gets bad, he loses computer privileges.  We tell him that we can see his bad attitude is caused by computer games and we must separate it from him so that he doesn't become a person with a permanantly very bad attitude.  It is for his own good, the computer is doing damage to him.  Once his attitude has healed (evidenced by good behavior, helping with chores, etc), he gets it back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Initially, my husband was reluctant to take away his computer because he though our son's attitude toward us would become very negative.  It was for a short while, but when he started &quot;earning&quot; computer time for good behavior, his attitude became very good.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The big shift needs to happen in your brother's attitude.  Right now, he thinks he &quot;deserves&quot; to have more than he has, everything that he wants.  He must learn that he does not &quot;deserve&quot; toys and treats and games...he must earn them. (Or they might be gifts but the problem with gifts is that it is too easy to expect them as something you &quot;deserve&quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will cause him to value what he receives more than he values them now.  And he will be happier about the things that he has.  The problem with being given everything you want is that it is never enough, and you are always unsatisfied.  If you must earn what you are given, you feel better about yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know if any of this will help you.  It is your parents who must take the right steps to change your brother's attitude.  Are there counselors at your school who you trust and can talk to?  This is not a burden that you should have to bear alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-10-24T20:54:03.777" LastActivityDate="2016-10-24T20:54:03.777" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27532" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-25T07:20:40.860" Score="1" ViewCount="654" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an only child of 12.5 years. He is very intelligent, but doesn't score well on exams. On questioning it's clear that he understands the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I restrict something, he argues continuously. This arguing and his stubborn attitude makes me stressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His habit of arguments and attitude toward leadership makes him seem aloof. He doesn't adjust in any group. His things are scattered in home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How could I shape his behavior? How could I increase his concentration? What kind of re-reinforcements can be used in daily life to changing bad habits like excessive playing on computers, watching TV, late night waking, etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24909" LastEditorUserId="3854" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T17:06:52.837" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T17:06:52.837" Title="How could i change behavior of my 12 year's son?" Tags="|behavior|school|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27533" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-25T13:42:17.630" Score="2" ViewCount="546" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am looking for some practical tips as to how to get my four month old to fall asleep, and once asleep, how to get him to nap longer. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I try to put him down, it seems as if he is looking for anything interesting to focus on to stay awake. Everything distracts him. I tried covering his eyes to literally give him less to look at but it only makes him mad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before you suggest systematic solutions - we have a pretty stable sleeping schedule and well-established sleeping rituals (curtains closed, relaxing music, we use pacifier only for sleeping, he always sleeps in my bed or in the crib, etc.) He sleeps well during the night. It is the nap-time falling asleep I would like to  change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He either only naps in his baby carrier, on my chest, or on the breast. He wakes up if I put him in his crib or, when left alone, sleeps a significantly shorter time. If allowed to sleep in a carrier/on me, he takes two naps a day - one before noon (45 min) and one in the afternoon (up to 2.5 h). If put in the crib (he does fall asleep by himself in the crib) and left alone for a nap during the day, he starts to either play or scream. He won't fall asleep even in a dark room with all the sleeping rituals.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is capable of falling asleep alone because in the evening, I just put him down and leave him. It takes him a while but 90% of the time he falls asleep on his own and he usually sleeps for 10-11 hours waking up once to nurse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trouble is he is sooo active. He can go without sleep for the whole day, and he never stops moving! And now even the naps he takes on me and in the carrier are getting shorter. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24912" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-10-25T17:36:10.017" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T15:17:41.323" Title="How to make 4-month-old fall asleep during the day and nap longer?" Tags="|sleep-training|naps|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27535" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27533" CreationDate="2016-10-25T20:56:24.410" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do you want to housework? Well you could carry him on your back and then do the housework with him in there. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you want to do some desk work? Well I this going to get harder and harder when they get older. My tactic was to carry the baby around till he was a sleep, then lie down with him in the carrier (open it).... Note our bed only consist of mattresses on the floor, if it is higher it is maybe not safe. We also practised co-sleeping.  ...and after a minute or two you  get him out of the carrier. This would often get some sufficiently long nap 1-2 hours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24919" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-10-26T13:13:50.043" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T13:13:50.043" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27536" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27541" CreationDate="2016-10-25T23:34:22.223" Score="6" ViewCount="1528" Body="&lt;p&gt;Every few days, my little guy won't get his way on something trivial and decides to throw a fit. He lets out a piercing scream, drops flat, then deliberately smashes his forehead on the floor as hard as he can two or three times. It's absolutely purposeful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll do it on concrete. He raises giant lumps and is then so overwrought that I have to put him in his bed and make sure he stays there so he doesn't hurt himself. He doesn't want attention and hits and screams at anyone who comes near.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I leave him alone on his bed he'll bash his face against the wall. The one time I stepped away and closed the door there was a THUNK and he'd smashed his nose. Blood everywhere.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This has been going on for months now. Most times I see the body language and can keep him from hurting himself. Sometimes I can't quite get there and BANG another lump.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's a well adjusted and happy little guy 99% of the time. The most common trigger seems to be his older brother taking a toy away. I'm just at a loss about how to deal with the self-harming behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a single Dad. He has one-on-one time with his nanny while his older brother is in Kindergarten. She reports the same behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried ignoring it hoping that he'd learn that hurting himself did nothing. That just resulted in more forehead lumps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How should I approach the problem?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24922" LastActivityDate="2017-03-31T22:06:49.717" Title="My 3-year-old screams and smashes his forehead on the floor when he doesn't get what he wants. How can I stop this?" Tags="|pre-schooler|tantrums|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27537" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27540" CreationDate="2016-10-26T00:02:12.723" Score="0" ViewCount="170" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 6 year old daughter is really bright and very friendly and outgoing to those in her immediate family (parents, siblings, uncles and grandparents).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when she is in social situations where she has to interact with those outside this well known circle she becomes very shy and introverted. If she is among those her age she will never go forward and introduce herself and try to make friends. If an adult tries to interact with her, like Dad's friend saying &quot;Hi, how are you?&quot;,she will just look down and not even reply. If a waiter brings her a balloon in a restaurant she will not even say thank you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think part of the problem is we are currently home schooling her and so she doesn't get much exposure to people outside her home and close family members.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But when we do take her out, how can we give her the chance to interact? Do we point to people and tell her to go talk to them? Someone suggested for example telling her to ask the librarian for a book she likes. Is this the way to go or is there a better way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13209" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T16:13:15.110" Title="What avenues can we give to our 6 year old daughter to help socialize with those outside her immeidate family?" Tags="|social-development|homeschooling|socialization|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27538" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27536" CreationDate="2016-10-26T00:06:24.360" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You say it's been going in a couple months? My 2 year old is beginning to do the same thing. Here are some things I've managed to get to work to if not stop it entirely, prevent the self inflicted pain on a per tantrum basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While I don't have all the answers. Here are somethings that have helped.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Get ahead of it and get a stuffed animal, a ball, or pillow into those little hands. My LO when I can do this usually turns their focus onto the pillow or stuffed animal. My LO ends up hitting, punching, biting or screaming into the pillow instead of against the floor or walls. Even to the point of throwing the animal, throw themselves on top of the animal, only to pick it up and throw it and repeat all the while screaming...till a few minutes later the screaming stops and something else has caught the little one's attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that isn't working.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Ignore the hitting and such and just hold em with a pillow is all I can do. My LO ends up hitting, punching, biting or screaming into the pillow instead of against the floor or walls. If it's this bad, it has gone on for a longer, and being held sorta aggravates the situation a little bit. But in the end, I get a little one, tuckered out in my arms that I can talk to soothingly and at least get pointing or grunts as to what caused it in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17846" LastEditorUserId="17846" LastEditDate="2016-10-26T05:40:03.333" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T05:40:03.333" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27539" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27519" CreationDate="2016-10-26T07:04:51.980" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The idea of teaching empathy to kids by making them donating toys is really good, but point to consider is, they should donate them willingly. Donating something unwillingly or donating old things for the purpose of getting new things can influence kids in other manner. Instead I would tell her about being helpful, how can she favor poor children, the happiness of making them happy by donating toys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22197" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T07:04:51.980" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27540" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27537" CreationDate="2016-10-26T08:47:05.763" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My eldest daughter is a lot like yours.  Shy and quiet around people she doesn't know but once she gets to know them, she's fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter need to feel comfortable in her surroundings and with the people there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't point to people and tell her to talk to them.  This is forcing her to do something she really doesn't want to do, otherwise she'd already do it.  Instead, give her the opportunity to interact with Where I live there's soft play areas, messy play, community coffee mornings etc.  Take your daughter several times, let her get used to the surroundings.  Give her time to adapt and feel safe in those places.  With time, she'll start interacting more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do want to move it along faster, perhaps find some sort of club she can join.  I have two daughters; one goes to gymnastics, the other a dance class.  They're small groups and they often pair off.  Not so much of a problem for the younger child but with the eldest, it takes a bit longer but she gets there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16168" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T08:47:05.763" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27541" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27536" CreationDate="2016-10-26T10:19:53.747" Score="2" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Every few days, my little guy won't get his way on something trivial&#xA;  and decides to throw a fit. He lets out a piercing scream, drops flat,&#xA;  then deliberately smashes his forehead on the floor as hard as he can&#xA;  two or three times. It's absolutely purposeful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Throwing a fit when something does not go right is perfectly normal at that age. Typically, children at that age start developing their own will and their own opinion of how things should be, and thus try to influence the world around them to their liking. Sometimes this does not work, and the resulting frustration still need to learn how to deal with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;However:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While throwing fits is normal, actually seriously harming themselves is not. If your son does this repeatedly and on purpose, as you write, I believe he needs professional help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think there is much you can do if your child is purposely hurting himself. You write that you try to anticipate, which is good, but you cannot always be there in time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please consider taking him to some kind of counseling, psychologist, or similar to discuss these problems. There may be some underlying problem that needs to be addressed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Of course, may be there is no such problem, and your son is just a bit more temperamental than usual. Then the counseling still will not hurt, and you may get a few more tips on how to best handle this behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Raising a child can be hard, particularly as a single parent, so make use of all the help you can get! Best of luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T10:19:53.747" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27542" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27536" CreationDate="2016-10-26T12:55:38.387" Score="2" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If he's doing this much self-harm, you need to put him in a soft helmet (sold for special needs) right away.  When things improve you can transition out of it.  For the couple of days it takes for you to get hold of a soft helmet, please avoid being in places with the hardest surfaces like concrete, and set up some temporary padding (cardboard?  extra crib mattress?  foam padding from the fabric store?) in key places, e.g. his bed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Discuss situation with his doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach older brother to offer another toy and wait until toddler drops the desired toy before taking it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide extra close supervision at high likelihood times.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Look for other triggers so you can apply #4 and find more solutions like #3.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-10-27T11:23:06.627" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T11:23:06.627" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27543" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27519" CreationDate="2016-10-26T13:06:10.487" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a long range goal -- you may need to be patient.  Here are some ideas for how to work toward it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Periodically, do a triage together.  Initially, there will be two piles: these toys go temporarily &quot;out of circulation&quot; (e.g. in the closet), these toys remain in the easy-to-grab location (e.g. shelves or bins in child's room or main play area).  In the beginning be happy if one toy gets chosen for the &quot;out of circulation&quot; place.  As your child gets the hang of this sort-and-tuck-away approach, s/he will come to trust that the set aside toys will come back, and anxiety about loss of beloved toys will start to go down.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The second stage of this is to introduce a third pile, the &quot;give away&quot; pile.  Be patient, and don't panic if nothing gets put in this pile the first time you introduce it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Find, or establish, a neighborhood &quot;exchange a treasure&quot; spot.  Where I live it is a hollow tree in someone's front yard, and there's another at our science museum, and there are specially designated bookshelves for this purpose in multiple locations.  The way it works is you deposit something and take something.  The treasure can be a beautiful feather or rock -- it doesn't have to be manufactured.  Explain the concept to your child before you visit the Exchange spot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can also use your local second-hand store (where I live these might be called Salvation Army or Good Will or thrift shop) as an Exchange spot.  Although these stores don't have explicit rules about contributing something every time you visit, YOU can create such a rule and introduce it in such a way that it seems to be the rule of the store.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;3&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Catch your child displaying generosity (both tangible and in spirit), and provide positive feedback.  This can be especially effective if you express it as bragging about the child &lt;em&gt;to someone else&lt;/em&gt;, e.g. &quot;Mari was so generous this afternoon, I gave her two cookies for snack, and she gave one to Davi next door.&quot;  She'll feel good about herself, and this will encourage the desired behavior.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T13:06:10.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27544" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27525" CreationDate="2016-10-26T13:29:35.663" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;When my child was 2, I made him a web page that ran only on our local machine.  He loved to press buttons.  When he ran the program, a big colored rectanglular mosaic would come up.  There was a random photograph of him layered under the colored rectangle.  Each time he pressed anything on the keyboard, a portion of the photo underlay would be revealed.  Once the photograph was complete, he could press a key to play the game again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another program I made for him: press a key, and a random photograph of himself appears.  Press a key, another photograph appears.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him I made the game.  That was the two-year-old explanation of web developer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T13:29:35.663" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27545" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27519" CreationDate="2016-10-26T13:50:02.130" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;It seems like you have 2 separate goals that are sort of related.  The first being to teach the child empathy and the other to de-clutter the house by getting rid of extra / broken toys.  While these goals can be accomplished at the same time, that may not be the best approach.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first problem I believe you could run into here is getting your child to really understand the idea of donating the toys.  She is still pretty young and may have some trouble understanding the permanence of donating toys.  I'm guessing that up until this point, the closest thing to donation she has encountered would be sharing.  Sharing is a great way to be kind and learn empathy, but also has pretty low anxiety about losing what you are sharing (at least in terms of toys anyway).  You share a toy, you get the toy back later (or, alternatively, giving someone else a turn means you will get your turn soon).  But donation isn't like that.  You give away a toy and you don't get it back.  Ever.  And that might be hard to swallow.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She might not want to give up any toys because she loves them.  She also might not understand.  And then you might find yourself with a screaming toddler who desperately wants Mr. Snugglekins (who got donated two months ago) to go to bed with her.  This is also the time when she will most likely decide that nothing will distract her and nothing will make it better except Mr. Snugglekins and you had better find Mr. Snugglekins if anyone wants to get any sleep tonight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, as other answers have mentioned, if you make it a hard and fast rule that she has to donate a toy before she can get a new one, you are setting yourself up for pain.  First, she might perceive this as unfair, that you are forcing her to give up beloved toys.  The flip side of this is that it also sets up the expectation that when she donates toys, she &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; (in her mind) get new ones.  So then donating toys may not turn out to be an act of empathy, but rather a means of getting that new shiny toy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But now the question is how do you teach the child empathy?  Well, I would say to start small.  Teach her to share.  Model sharing yourself.  Teach her to take turns.  Point out when others are feeling sad and maybe suggest something she could do to help (&quot;See Daddy over there.  He looks sad, huh? Maybe you could give Daddy a hug and that would help him feel better.&quot;)  Also, do service as a family and include her, even if it is in small ways.  Go spend time delivering &quot;meals on wheels&quot; or a local equivalent.  Go help grandma rake up all the leaves in her yard.  Help the neighbor kid get his ball back that got tossed in your yard.  There are many ways for her to help others and learn to care for them.  Donating toys is one way, but consider other ways too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, how to deal with too many toys cluttering the house?  @aparente001's answer is an excellent suggestion on how to do that.  Moving toys out of circulation and slowly introducing the idea of giving them away could help greatly with this.  Just make sure your child does this because she wants to, not because you want her to or because she feels there is some reward attached to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T13:50:02.130" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27546" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27499" CreationDate="2016-10-26T15:38:10.740" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Leaving home isnt really the only option.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking is a mature and sensible method, he gets irritated, then change your tact. Also don't forget that in the last 10/15 years technology has propelled forwards. So the things that you do are really weird for him. Unless he has a computing background he wont know that 'coding' is a good thing and you can make a decent living from it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might take a few conversations, but they will take notice of your maturity and back off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;IF&lt;/strong&gt; however you are being the stereotypical teenager who thinks they know the world at 17 then I'm sorry the 59 year old does know better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24927" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T15:38:10.740" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27548" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27537" CreationDate="2016-10-26T16:13:15.110" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter who turns seven this week was exactly the same way.  She still is, in really new situations.  Homeschooling is nice for kids like her, because you can take it at her own pace, and be there to personally coach her, just like everything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The approach we took with my daughter was we didn't force her to do anything she wasn't ready for, &lt;strong&gt;but&lt;/strong&gt; we didn't step in and handle things for her that only her shyness was keeping her from doing either.  That last part is where a lot of parents go wrong, I think.  If you step in, it reinforces the idea that the shyness is incapacitating, and doesn't provide an incentive to overcome the fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your librarian example, my approach would be to say something like, &quot;The librarian over there could help you find more books like that one we checked out last week that you really liked.  Librarians are friendly and enjoy talking to kids.  Maybe you should go ask her.&quot;  Probably the first two or three times you say it, she will choose not to ask, but if she cares enough about the reward (getting a good book recommendation), and sees that you have confidence in her to ask, eventually that will overpower her fear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that helps is having one good friend to act as an ice breaker.  For my daughter, her brother often fills that role.  If you're extroverted yourself, you may be trying to help your daughter play with lots of kids, but introverts generally prefer one-on-one interactions.  Try to look for those sorts of opportunities.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T16:13:15.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27551" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2016-10-26T20:16:48.067" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a million books on parenting out there and reading them can be really worthwhile, not just for raising kids but for thinking about emotional and social landscapes. More than that, though, it's never too early to start really thinking about parenting philosophies and approaches. You won't be able to prepare for &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; kid, but you can start to form opinions on which approaches sound good to you and which don't. By the way, that absolutely includes approaches that sound effective but just not like something you can implement, for whatever reason. One thing I've learned is that parenting tactics aren't going to be effective if they're not genuine, and that's one reason that so many parenting philosophies exist and claim to be successful. In reading about this sort of thing, you'll learn a couple things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, you'll get familiar with some of the most common topics you'll run across--particularly cry-it-out and other sleep training techniques, discipline, communication, handling tantrums and other big emotions, &amp;amp;c.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you'll find yourself really starting to think about your own experiences and about a lot of your relationships--how you talk to them, how they talk to you, and how you handle conflict, among other things. (You also get to start noticing how many adults have tantrums and what kind of crap excuses we all use to pretend we don't!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, you'll hopefully start to notice some themes running through all of them and that will help you identify some rare &quot;parenting truths&quot; while putting together a toolbox incorporating suggestions from lots of different areas. Once you have a kid, you'll likely be surprised at which sections you find yourself digging into, and you'll very possibly change your mind completely on the stuff you settle on beforehand, but that's constantly true as your kid grows, anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Two other pieces of advice: 1. Read up on medical issues surrounding pregnancy, childbirth, and childrearing. Not, like, go deep into all the scary stuff, but the less you're surprised by the topics and decisions you'll come across, the more confident you'll feel making those decisions. 2. Try to keep your eye on the prize--remember that you're parenting a child. The reason we talk about owning a dog versus raising a child is because the dog will continue to be a dog and you can train it but it's always going to depend on you, basically unchanging, for its whole life. With a child, the important thing is the adult you're raising the child to be, not the measure of the child at the moment against an ideal of adult behavior. So, for instance, sure, be considerate of other people (regarding crying in restaurants and tantrums and running wild and all that), but resist disciplining your child based on what the other people around you at the time would like your child to do or not do. Sometimes you gotta get groceries with a miserable kid. Make sure your interactions are based on what the kid needs &lt;em&gt;to become the person you want them to be&lt;/em&gt;, not what someone else wants because they don't feel like hearing the crying or they don't approve of the decisions you're making. I try, as one of my highest goals, to make sure my kids know they come first for me, and if they're feeling vulnerable or scared or otherwise awful, I will be late or leave the restaurant before our food gets there if that's what it takes to give them the assurance they need to make their way in the world. I will be firm on rules but I won't tell them what they're doing is wrong without a reason, and if I can't think of a reason, I'll reconsider whether what they're doing is fine, because I want them to grow into capable adults who are not easily swayed and who can think critically. It's never too early to practice contextualizing how you plan to parent in terms of the effect it will have on their ability to understand and predict how the world works, and on their ability to make and trust their own decisions, and on their sense of how to take care of themselves and interact with people with confidence. Corollary to 2: It feels like a lot of people buy into &quot;advice&quot; like &quot;Sleep train your baby or they'll never stop sleeping in your bed/Take away the pacifier before 1 or they won't be able to soothe themselves without it,&quot; but are perfectly willing to tell their kids, &quot;Because I said so.&quot; For me, parenting is mostly about emotional guidance so my kids aren't buffeted by every wind, and the rest is logistics. So, no, they're not going to sleep in my bed in college or go to bed in their first apartment with a milk bottle. I don't really care when those things happen and generally try to take the path of least resistance--is the weaning or potty training making us all miserable? It can wait. Can I not bear to search for one single more bottle nipple? Then out they go. But kids &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; grow into adults that throw tantrums, refuse to share, think they don't deserve to get what they need or won't get it unless they just take it, and don't know how to determine whether what someone's telling them to do is right or wrong. Those are the crucial things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24933" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T20:16:48.067" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27552" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="13952" CreationDate="2016-10-26T20:42:25.693" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the other advice here, try to evaluate what they're doing in specific instances. So, for instance, resist thinking that your kid is &quot;constantly disobedient&quot; or &quot;always talking back&quot;. Try to think less about what they're not doing and more about what they are doing. When they don't do what you say, they're actually doing something else, and sometimes it takes some practice, but the more you can recognize what that &quot;something else&quot; is, the better able you'll be to see what's important to them. There are times for kids to conform to others' needs and times they need a pass, and every kid is different. My daughter is incredibly self-motivated, so we ended up putting her in a Montessori-style school because it will give her a slightly longer grace period to come to terms with accepting external motivation. See, she absolutely needs to learn that lesson, but in a couple years, she'll be well-equipped to understand why she needs to learn it. Right now, she actually does fine in a traditional classroom setting, but I can already see it would be an awful struggle to try to get her to care about test scores or grades, and it probably wouldn't work for at least a couple of years, but in the meantime, she'd only learn the lesson that she hates school and schoolwork. My son just loves to help and I think he'll readily accept external motivation; however, while my daughter's driving force is having a purpose, his driving force is being an absolute goofball every moment of every day. So I want to make sure that, at least until he's a little more mature, he's in a school environment where they will be gentle and positive (even when they need to be firm) in getting him to be a part of a group dynamic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to remember that what your kid is really doing, fundamentally, is not about you. However, you can determine how they express it by showing them whether you're consistent and predictable, whether you respect them and yourself or not, and whether you are big enough to handle what they don't know how to control or not. We have rules, but they can often be bent by &quot;making a deal&quot;. The power of a deal is not unlimited, and both parties have to uphold their ends or we can't make deals for a while, but anybody can suggest a deal and we can make a decision together. So, my daughter can wear sandals to school if we can put her tennis shoes in her backpack and she'll change into them there (school rules and all). She's coming up on 5, and sometimes she really surprises me with the well-thought-out plans she suggests, sometimes even finding a way that I wouldn't have thought of. Sometimes her plans still won't work, and I always tell her, &quot;You know, that's a great plan, and you did some really good thinking there, but we still can't do that, because [whatever reason].&quot; Other times she has a tantrum, and when that happens, it's so clear on her face and in her voice and body that she's just bursting with emotion with no way to channel it. So I make sure she knows I'm there for her, but I don't try to make it stop, or try to comfort her out of it (when it's a real tantrum and not just being mad or disappointed). She can run off and close herself off in a room, and afterwards, I'll tell her how it's great that she can recognize when she needs time by herself as a way to deal with a really big emotion. I don't take offense at anything she says, but I don't tell her she doesn't mean it (because of course she does at the time), and I do say, &quot;Please don't yell at me,&quot; or &quot;I don't like to be yelled at,&quot; and &quot;Well, I don't want to be yelled at right now, so I'm going to go into the next room until you're ready to talk to me more quietly.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and finally, SO MUCH undesirable kid behavior is because they're tired. Or hungry, but mostly tired. It changes EVERYTHING. So, if they're being just impossible, sometimes I'll just hold them for a moment and say, &quot;I know, you've had such a big day, haven't you?&quot; (Note: I NEVER tell them they're tired. There is practically nothing more likely to send them flying off the handle, lol.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24933" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T20:42:25.693" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27553" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27242" CreationDate="2016-10-26T20:56:37.083" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son's palate, to quote the pediatrician, &quot;like the Sistine Chapel in there&quot;, and what I found was that, at first, bottle feeding was a little easier for him, but he soon seemed to get better at the breast than at the bottle. If your baby can use a bottle, it's not so severe that you need one of those special (and expensive!) prescription nipples, and, at least in my experience, once she gets just a little bit bigger, it could get easier on its own. I think we actually used bottles more in the beginning but almost exclusively the breast after that until I weaned him when I went back to work, because--I assume with his tongue being a little better developed--he was able to conform my nipple to his palate easier than the bottle. I don't remember timelines, but I want to say it was not much older than your daughter is now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At first, he had the same thing as your daughter, where milk dribbled out the side of his mouth when he ate, regardless of the source. Later, it got less messy when he nursed. Hilariously, the bottle nipple went the opposite direction, and when he sucked on a bottle, a stream of milk would actually shoot out the corner of his mouth, with a range of 1-2'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24933" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T20:56:37.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27554" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="23164" CreationDate="2016-10-26T21:17:51.223" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I will disagree that you have to &quot;win&quot; the power struggle--as with thermonuclear war, the only way to win is not to play. But yeah, you do have to end the struggling in a way that is predictable and dependable for her. Particularly, she has to know what she will and won't get in trouble for, and why the things she will get in trouble for are not okay. It has to be things that she can observe and the getting in trouble should be about the same every time, not suddenly worse because of a bunch of other stuff. Now, I'm not saying I know exactly what you should do; far from it. I'll just say that our approach is to focus entirely on the specific unacceptable behavior and why it's unacceptable, and it needs to have a concrete reason. Forget about defiance or disrespect--that may be the message you're getting from it, but that's not why she's doing it. Running away isn't okay because you need to be able to keep her safe, and if she's going to run away, you won't be able to let her walk on her own. Not wanting to leave is okay, and even being mad or disappointed about it is okay, and, to some extent, yelling or crying is okay (at least for now--she's got a lot of years to learn different ways to handle it). What's not okay is her not coming with you, because time to go means time to go. If she won't come with you when you ask (which, generally, I've heard as &quot;don't ask any more times than they are years old&quot;), then you have to pick her up and put her in the car yourself. For my daughter, particularly, I try to give her a couple of chances to do something for herself. Like, when we get to the car, I'll ask, &quot;Do you want me to put you in the car or do you want to climb in yourself?&quot; Even if she's mad, she can do it herself. But if she just says, &quot;No, I'm not leaving!&quot; I say, &quot;Okay, I'll put you in&quot; and I do that. The whole time, I'm not yelling or talking like I'm frustrated (usually) because, usually, I'm not actually frustrated. I understand she's disappointed so much that she doesn't know what to do with all that emotional energy, and it's bursting out of her. If it drags on, obviously, that's going to wear you all out, though, so something that I've been reminding my husband of a fair bit lately is that you give the kid the chance to do it themselves for just a couple of seconds and then you just rip the bandaid off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a possibly related note, do you think there are areas where you could expand her agency? Like, sometimes, I'll ask one of my kids, &quot;Do you want to do this now or in 5 minutes?&quot; They always say 5 minutes and they're always still bitter about having to do it, but I do see some positive effects rippling out. Or maybe she could be in charge of some part of leaving, like making sure everybody has their wallets and keys? Or, finally, would it help if you talked ahead of time about not only the time to leave but also where you were going to go afterwards and what you were going to do when you get there? Like, &quot;Okay, we're going to leave in 15 minutes, so you have a few minutes left to play but then we'll go get in the car. When we leave, we're going to go straight home, and then I'll give you your bath while we make dinner.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24933" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T21:17:51.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27556" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27494" CreationDate="2016-10-26T21:34:54.610" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;What's come up for me again and again is that, to change behavior, you have to see what the kid &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; doing, not what they're &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; doing. That's kind of a glib way to put it, since the problem you see is her &quot;defying&quot; you, but at 2, that's not really a thing they do. What I'm getting at, though, is, to change a behavior, you have to offer an alternate behavior. At 2, she may well only be able to know she's in trouble, not why, much less how to come up with something better to do. Same with withholding dessert. That has the double-whammy of being a punishment but it not being clear what (to her mind) &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; being removed in time from the event. Additionally, I don't love the no-dessert punishment because you also want her to be able to eat dinner without expecting that she'll have dessert every day unless she's in trouble.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have two suggestions. First, what we did when our kids went through this is to put a napkin on the table and say that all food they didn't want should go on the napkin. If they dropped food, we'd pick it up and say, &quot;It goes on the napkin,&quot; and put it there ourselves. If they picked up food and seemed to hesitate, we'd jump in and point to the napkin saying, &quot;Remember, put your food on the napkin!&quot; Eventually, it all went on the napkin and never on the floor. It will happen!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, and this is more for you, remember that, especially at her age, all lessons are a long game. She's not going to change in a day, much less a meal--in all likelihood, she won't change for multiple weeks. She really isn't cognitively capable of understanding that what you're telling her is wrong is going to be wrong every time. Think about what you want her to do and tell (and show) her how to do that, then be as consistent as you can. If you do that, she can build a habit, whereas if you focus on punishments, she will eventually learn what it is she's doing that is wrong, but she'll still struggle for a long time with the forethought and willpower to actually not do the wrong thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Oh, and one of my biggest problems with punishments is, depending on the kid, sometimes it's not long at all before they figure out that they can choose to do what they want and take the punishment. Some don't, but there are plenty of kids who, as they get older will just say, &quot;I don't need dessert,&quot; or &quot;I'll just play my game another time,&quot; because a punishment is basically giving them two choices, except you get mad if they take one choice over the other. I try to give my kids choices as much as I can, except I never give them a choice where one option isn't actually okay. That just pisses them off that you're being unfair, taking the focus off the behavior you want to correct and putting it on &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24933" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T21:34:54.610" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27558" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8672" CreationDate="2016-10-26T23:23:07.300" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My biggest advise has nothing to do with actually raising a child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest you think of all the things you want to do in life and do them now. Everything is infinitely more difficult once you have kids and the older they get, the more faded these goals become. Not in a bad way. You'll love your kids and being with them supersedes whatever you may have wanted to do. But the first few years of parenthood felt a lot like being on house arrest for me. And when all your time and funds are tied up in the standard things everyone else is talking about - basic care, preschools, etc - the possibility to do something pretty basic like maybe go hiking or rock climbing shrinks and shrinks until you get the feeling that you can't even find the time to take a shower anymore, nevermind actually go out and do something. That kind of thing can depress you and in my opinion is the kind of thing that leads to mid life crisis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not talking about goals like move to Paris or join the Whale Wars crew or anything. I just mean things like - suppose you always wanted to cruise across the country, or learn to cook Szechuan food, or restore a muscle car, or build yourself up to run a marathon, or try to start your own business, or go on any real vacation - maybe just visit paris. It's the little things that slip by that can fester and leave this feeling of want for activity of any kind that's not seasoned with weird kiddy circus music, squeaky toys, simple pianos and muppets... it can drive you nuts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Balance your own mind. Make sure your partner does this as well. You will be both your best friends and biggest enemies at times even if you wont admit it. So making sure you're both exhausted from the adventure and ready to move forward with a family is probably the most valuable advise I have to give.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for raising the child or children... you'll figure it out. If you care enough to ask this question at all it means you're not one of those whack job parents that leaves their kid alone at home with guns and booze while they go party. Just by the merit of posting this at all I'd say you'll do fine, with your own blend of parental style, flavor, and fun. And you'll have a great time even if you don't get it all out of your system first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-10-26T23:23:07.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27560" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27580" CreationDate="2016-10-27T13:56:33.617" Score="5" ViewCount="2606" Body="&lt;p&gt;We've just started daycare for our 2 year old toddler, and on the first day of settling in, he cried so bitterly that he made himself sick (puked) and we were advised to take him home. And on the second day, he did the same thing, but this time, I asked if I could wait in with him, and he seemed perfectly fine for the remaining hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I would like to know is, what is the normal process for settling in? (I'm in the UK/Glasgow in case that matters). Our nursery recommended that we leave the child for 30 minutes and gradually increase the amount of time that we leave him there. However given that he makes himself sick within 5 minutes of crying, I was wondering how this would work? And is there any other way to settle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has been looked after by either me, my wife, or grandparents. He has never spent much time in the company of other kids, though he does get along with visitors to the house well enough. And he has only every made himself sick once before while crying in the 2 years at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13282" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-10-28T01:05:43.247" LastActivityDate="2018-11-01T20:05:36.237" Title="Settling in toddler in daycare" Tags="|toddler|crying|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27564" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27532" CreationDate="2016-10-27T18:17:17.503" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;He sounds a lot like my son.  Thirteen, argues with everything, does not do well on tests even though he knew the material when we quizzed him the night before, plays computer games to excess...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We allow him to play as much as he wants if all chores and homework are done and as long as he is able to keep his grades up.  If he violates the rules, he loses electronics for a day.  Or more.  Basically, you need to set up the rules and then enforce them.  Our son knows beforehand what is expected of him; we don't want him to feel that we are tacking on extras to keep him from playing games, and once he is done he is able to use his free time as he chooses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of our expectations is that he will not be sullen or argumentative if we have to remind him that he hasn't done a chore.  We don't expect him to pretend to be happy about it, but we do expect that he will attend to it immediately and without drama.  If his attitude gets bad we may take away electronics until it mends.  This also applies to situations where we are going on a family outing; he is expected to participate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing that really helped was that I started taking him to Boy Scouts.  They are a very inclusive organization and make an effort to get everyone involved.  He gets more outdoor / exercise, makes friends and Scouting has done really good things for his character, especially his sense of responsibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another thing that we started doing was playing Pokemon Go.  This is something that we can do together as a family, and we all get exercise.  We go out somewhere and walk around catching Pokemon and working up an appetite, then we go out to a restaurant (kids get to vote).  Fun for the family, and because it is an electronic game he's more enthusiastic about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-10-31T18:40:51.283" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T18:40:51.283" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27565" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27532" CreationDate="2016-10-27T18:38:46.737" Score="-1" Body="&lt;h1&gt;First Things First: That Kid Sounds 100% Normal&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He sounds like what he is: a millennial 12yo. I wouldn't worry too much about it. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Argues all the time? &lt;em&gt;Check.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Dumps things where ever he sees fit? &lt;em&gt;Check.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Does not give a damn about anything? &lt;em&gt;Check.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Underuses his abilities? &lt;em&gt;Check.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Normal teenager? &lt;em&gt;Check.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Action Plans&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Gamify His Life&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Him being a millennial 12yo also gives you the perfect key to his motivation: &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamification&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;gamify&lt;/a&gt; his life&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's simple but tried and tested. The only way it doesn't work is if you miss the mark and make it sound patronizing to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend to go read this cute comic, which explains it better than me:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://doodlealley.com/2013/11/04/on-gamification/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/Qrivf.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Doodle Alley - On Gamification (1)&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.habitica.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Habitica&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;12yo may be a bit old for this particular tool, but I've been using &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.habitica.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Habitica&lt;/a&gt; with my 4yo and 7yo and it works pretty well:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.habitica.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://i.stack.imgur.com/4f4di.png&quot; alt=&quot;Habitica - Gamify Your Life!&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've setup their own campaigns and regular tasks to follow and they're pretty happy to do them now. And if they're not done when comes the time to count the points before going to bed, they quickly rush to do them (not ideal, but better than nothing). For their age groups, I use daily tasks for their music practice, brushing their teeth, cleaning up their rooms, negative points for bad habits (leaving things on the floor, not going to bed on time, etc...). I adjust the difficulty of the task for the age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly Habitica does not have a &quot;parent&quot; account to control the kids' tasks, which I find a bit too bad. It wasn't really intended for this use case, actually, but I use it for this and have recommended it to others who also find it neat to use with their kids.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Habitica may be too simplistic for your son, but that's the general idea anyway. Maybe he'll like it, maybe he'll even get friends to get on it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find a way to turn doing what he has to do into a game, or into something that's part of a game and where doing the tasks counts as stepping stones towards a goal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.khanacademy.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Khan Academy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You mention he's intelligent, but maybe not so interested in some topics. Maybe he needs to picks the topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you tried to get him to take a look at &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.khanacademy.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Khan Academy&lt;/a&gt;? He could look at topics &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; finds interesting in there, and also use the platform to improve in other topics where he as difficulties.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've also been using this for 2 years now with my 7yo. For basic things, and he obviously needed a lot of chaperoning at first (especially when he didn't know how to read), but his interest hasn't waned and I expect it will last for quite some time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He can have his own account, and you can also review his activities with a parent account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, Khan Academy also has a bunch of helpful resources, notably documentation on:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.khanacademy.org/educator/parents-and-tutors/best-practices-parents/a/encouraging-your-child&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;motivating your child&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.khanacademy.org/educator/parents-and-tutors/best-practices-parents/a/motivating-different-types-of-learners&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;motivating different types of learners&lt;/a&gt; (in your case, a disengaged learner, I suppose).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Your Long-Term Objectives&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the long-term, what you want to do is to improve on a few fronts (not necessarily on all of them at once):&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;substitute bad habits with good ones,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;setup and use a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reward_system&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;reward system&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;train his ability to accept &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_gratification&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;delayed gratification&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Expand His Horizons&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe restrictions don't work and school work does not interest him because he has not found yet what really motivates him. Try to expand his horizons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drag him out of the house - possibly giving him a choice of different things to choose from, so he's part of the process and does not feel like he's being actually &quot;dragged&quot; - and actively try to discover stuff he's not used to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our interests change over time. Maybe he used to like something, but now seeks totally different things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Entertainment, culture, travels, shopping... whatever works.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;On Restrictions&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What do you currently do to restrict the late-night activity and TV time?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm generally against timers and parental controls, actually, but surely if you unplug the TV and internet box (or at least shut down the wifi), and his smartphone does not have either data or even mobile network connectivity after 9 or 10pm (see with the carrier), and the computers are turned off, then he won't have much to do except for picking up a book.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;Lead By Example&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know you so I'm not saying you don't. But I've often notice that parents expect their kids to do things they don't do themselves. And while the defense of &quot;but I'm a grown up and have stuff to do, and I know better&quot; &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be valid, oftentimes it's only a justification.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Turn off your phone and computer. Do your chores. Go to bed on time. Maybe don't have the same limits, but be sure he sees you also have your limits and you stick by them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;On Social Aptitudes&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Relationship to Authority&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;His habit of arguments and attitude toward leadership makes him seem aloof.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Arguing is a good thing, if you have reasons to do it. And generally we do have reasons, even if they are misguided ones. Knowing when to drop it is good as well though, but that's a lot to ask from someone if they feel misunderstood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd recommend to take a step back and put yourself in his shoes: ask yourself whether he has a reason for arguing and challenging authority. More often than not, kids have a reason. We just don't see or don't want to see it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A side note, and maybe I read too much into this and it's just a terminology thing: It's interesting that you use the word &quot;leadership&quot;. I've not heard this term used often when dealing with kids actually (&quot;authority&quot;, &quot;parental figures&quot;, is more commonly used). At 12yo, I wouldn't expect that the kid needs &quot;leadership&quot;. He needs a framework, some guidance, and a safe and comfortable support group. He does not need to be led. Again, maybe I read too much into this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h3&gt;Relationship with Peers&lt;/h3&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He doesn't adjust in any group.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's more problematic in my opinion. What groups has he tried to get involved with? Any sports? Any music groups? Friends?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Surely a 12yo has friends of sort. They can be friends at school, friends from another activity, friends he sees only on week-ends, neighbors he spends time with, or even online friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There must be at least some people he likes to interact with in one way or another, whether analog or digital. Find it and figure out why it works with that group and what appeals to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he does not have any groups of friends, then it's time to find activities and try to get him to make some friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;His things are scattered in home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Several ways to approach this:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;His room, his rules. Common areas, common rules.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Pick up your things or lose them - temporarily or permanently (extreme, but generally effective).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Make him understand what it would feel like if everybody left their things everywhere, including his room.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;On School Work and Marks&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;On questioning it's clear that he understands the topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Does he really, though?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's really easy to:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;think you understood something when you didn't,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;have someone think you understood something when you didn't,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;think someone understood something when they didn't.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to check that a topic is fully understood and mastered is to teach it to someone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a lousy kid at school. Wasn't stupid, was quite interested in most topics, and for all accounts all my teachers thought I was a serious student trying his best when I really wasn't (I apparently just manage to look very focused and serious when I'm in fact 2 light years away), and hard-working enough to bolt down and pass when needed. But I learned quickly that I was kidding myself when I was thinking that I understood the topics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Starting having to teach others made me a lot more understanding of my lack of understanding.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Get him to do his homework with other groups of teens, and find a tutor, even if only to roll the ball with him. If a neighbor has a younger kid, have your son tutor him so he's in the other role as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Talk&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have a heartfelt one-to-one with him in a casual setup (say, over dinner, or after watching a movie, when the mood is light). Don't ambush him, don't patronize him, don't express concerns. Show genuine interest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask him&lt;/strong&gt; what he would like to be doing right now, and what he wants to be doing later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask him&lt;/strong&gt; why he thinks he's not doing well in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask him&lt;/strong&gt; why he stays up late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask him&lt;/strong&gt; if &lt;strong&gt;he&lt;/strong&gt; thinks he spends too much time in front of the TV or computer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask him&lt;/strong&gt; why he thinks he spends so much time on front of the TV.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then work it out with him. While you can gamify some of his life and use hidden levers, it's better if it's his plan as much as yours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Food for Thought&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your question actually gives us &lt;strong&gt;very little&lt;/strong&gt; context and insight to answer properly and in a way adapted to you and your kid. We don't know:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your social and financial situation,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;the context of your family circle,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;his grade,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;his current extra-curricular activities (sports, centers of interests, time spent with out per week...),&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;your expectations and the current metrics, like these relating to:&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;appropriate bed-time,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;appropriate screen-time,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;appropriate scores.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We can only assume from what you gave us. For all I know, he goes to bed at 10pm, scores decent B+, and plays 1 hour of video games per day. Nothing perfect, but nothing that'd be troublesome for &lt;strong&gt;my&lt;/strong&gt; expectations. We need to know what's the context, what's happening, and what you expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Helpful References&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not sure whether any of these are &quot;industry standards&quot; or anything, but I found them interesting and worth reading to pick and choose bits you like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://books.google.fr/books?id=zEpfm8ZTnHQC&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Supporting Children with Behaviour Difficulties: A Guide for Assistants in Schools&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/B00GQZPHC4&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;See also this that I wrote 3 years ago: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8928/too-many-variables-at-play-troubled-son/8932#8932&quot;&gt;Too many variables at play -- troubled &amp;quot;son&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:12.920" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T20:54:42.300" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27566" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27567" CreationDate="2016-10-27T20:02:37.107" Score="5" ViewCount="1241" Body="&lt;p&gt;My biological son, 26, will soon be graduating college and my wife (his step-mom) and I are throwing him a graduation party.  My wife and I have had a very difficult time with his mother and her husband.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We &quot;enjoyed&quot; a very Jerry Springer like moment with them yelling and screaming on our front lawn a couple of years ago.  His mother refers to my wife as &quot;the incarnation of evil&quot;.  Given that the divorce is old (13 years ago) and all financial obligations were over, to the satisfaction of the court, over 4 years ago, my wife and I were hoping the angst would die down.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it hasn't; his mother still feels a great deal of hate for both my wife and I.  While I understand that there are strong feelings behind this rage/hate I am not sure what I can do to mitigate them.  And really how much control can one have over another's feelings?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In most ways I could care less.  I would love to be civil with the mom and step-dad for the sake of my son.  But given their past behavior, I just don't want to be around them.  I don't want to pay to entertain them or even be in the same room with them.  If it was just a public place, I would just leave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any advice on how I would broach this subject with my son?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did have the talk with my son, and he let her know she was not invited to the party.  As an olive branch I encouraged him to spend time with her after graduation but before the party, and they did.  They also spent the night before together, and they could then use the excuse of getting back to their home (8 hour drive) to not attend the party.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is also a &quot;Shiite Christian&quot; (my son's words) very religious.  We had the party at a brewery which would also give her another excuse for not attending.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end it all worked out okay and they even refused to say hello to us on graduation day.  My son started law school and we are closer then ever. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23489" LastEditorUserId="23489" LastEditDate="2017-11-28T18:14:03.403" LastActivityDate="2017-11-28T18:14:03.403" Title="An Adult Child and a Difficult Ex" Tags="|adult-child|co-parenting|arguments|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27567" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27566" CreationDate="2016-10-27T20:27:45.703" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;The fact that your son will be graduating indicates that he's probably intelligent. I'm sure that he knows about his mother's feelings and past actions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At a graduation party, you are celebrating his academic acchievement and maturity. So why not talk to him as one adult to another? Be honest, ask for his opinion and feelings. You won't be able to exclude your ex-wife from the official graduation, but you can choose whom to invite to your home or your party. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11249" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T20:27:45.703" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27568" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-27T21:33:55.000" Score="3" ViewCount="256" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 6-year-old son. Whenever he talks, he yells. He has had several hearing tests and passes them with flying colors. I do not understand why he tends to yell. Is his behavior normal?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24953" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-19T19:09:30.440" LastActivityDate="2018-05-19T19:09:30.440" Title="Why is my 6-year-old son yelling or being very loud when talking?" Tags="|behavior|primary-schooler|speech|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27570" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27568" CreationDate="2016-10-27T22:13:28.697" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Drawing from experience with my 4 yo and from re-telling from my own childhood by my own mother, it may be that your 6 yo is simply afraid of not being heard?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that both my 4yo and my 7yo crank up the volume if I don't answer quickly, in spite of all my best efforts to do so or to teach them some sort of self-control and patience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally, it may be simply a reaction to his environment or a reproduction of what he sees around him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have to put yourself in his context:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he's small,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he's aware he's a child and grown-ups have precedence,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;he's oftentimes in noisy surroundings (school playground and class, activities, etc...) where raising his voice gets him heard,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it's what grown-ups do when they want the kids to pay attention.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In what contexts is he yelling?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When talking to you?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To siblings/friends?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To anyone else, e.g. the baker, the postman. the cashier?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;To himself during &quot;quiet play&quot;?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd expect he does mostly in the first 2 contexts, for either or both of the reasons stated above. If it's in all scenarios, all the time... then I don't know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, though I suppose you've done so already, have you tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;asking him why he raises his voice,&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;and asking him to compare his volume to that of the rest of the room?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastActivityDate="2016-10-27T22:13:28.697" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27571" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27536" CreationDate="2016-10-27T22:42:38.203" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Warning: this is definitely to take as anecdotical evidence and not a as a recommendation to replicate...&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Dear lord, this brings back a lot of memories...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Not that I would &lt;em&gt;recommend&lt;/em&gt; this, but... my son used to really &lt;em&gt;throw his head back&lt;/em&gt; from barely 4 months old onwards or even to &lt;em&gt;throw himself on his back&lt;/em&gt; when he was between 1 and 2yo, when we denied him something he wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This got pretty scary at times, as he would do this at first in our arms and almost bang his head on things. I still have shivers thinking from a time he did this while walking on a sea shore and we were close to nice, sharp stones... I managed to block that one with my hand and it hurt pretty bad for me!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Later he'd throw himself on his back, back of the head first, on any kind of floors. We had lots of &quot;near misses&quot;, but usually it happened on carpet floors, or wooden floors, or we caught him half-way, or he had a hat... We had gotten into the habit of making sure there was something behind him just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Until when one day when it was not a &quot;near-miss&quot; but a &quot;full-on hit&quot;, as we hadn't seen it coming. This time it was a nice old tile floor while visiting relatives. He threw himself back - can't remember the reason now, actually - and there was a loud bang.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thankfully he wasn't really hurt, but it apparently reeeaaalllly surprised him that it sounded so loud and hurt so bad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;He never did it a single time again.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;True story. :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But again, I wouldn't recommend to try it in the hope it would have the same effect on yours. Mind you, yours reached blood already. That's a fighter you got there...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyways, at 3 year old, he's old enough for you to explain to him why it's bad (though not old enough to understand why and how it's dangerous). I'd try to explain that to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2344" LastEditorUserId="2344" LastEditDate="2017-03-31T22:06:49.717" LastActivityDate="2017-03-31T22:06:49.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27572" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27581" CreationDate="2016-10-27T23:05:13.970" Score="6" ViewCount="1237" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a 23 years old girl with aspergers living with my parents. I used to live on my own, studied and had a job. Stuff went terribly wrong. My grades were bad, I was poor (my parents couldn't support me and running my own company didn't result in very stable pay, if I had pay at all) and I simply didn't have enough time in the day to study, work and take care of myself. On top of that, my boyfriend was mentally abusive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I made some drastic choices. I moved across the country back to my parents. I abandoned my friends, the city I lived in, everything that had been my adult life to live in this rural town 40 kilometers from university. Luckily there's a bus. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Things are actually going okay now. I've broken up with my ex, I'm recovering from the depression previous events left me in, met an amazing new guy, started a bachelor degree in IT, I'm getting good grades, I'm gonna graduate next year, I've got an amazing job offer, couldn't be better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Except this job offer is two hours away from here. And full time. Like every other job offer I've got. I cannot possibly accept that without severely endangering my studies. I've been looking at jobs in town too. There's no jobs around in IT. The town is too small. I looked in the university's town too. That has 3 or so IT companies. Of course I applied to all of them. Same story, full time or they already hired a classmate. (I live on an island, the university is on another one. All very rural. It has 4000 students total, to show the scale of all of this. The town has 40.000 inhabitants.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My studies are the kind where I have class one or two days a week and I have to plan the rest myself, including client meetings. So I spend a lot of time at home. In this time I try to do chores around the house. But to be honest, these chores are already costing me a lot of time I cannot spend on my studies. I may be home, but I need to study too. We have a 6 person household with 4 people working full time, 2 students and a dog. I basically have to take care of the whole household at this point. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My parents keep pushing me to find a job. I have job offers lining up, I've got my graduation internship arranged, but I do not believe I can take a job without endangering my studies at this point. I have one year left. September next year I can start working. How can I explain this to my parents?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21650" LastEditorUserId="21650" LastEditDate="2016-10-28T09:54:25.363" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T15:15:58.600" Title="How can I explain to my parents I do not want to find a job yet?" Tags="|parents|adult-child|working-parents|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27576" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27568" CreationDate="2016-10-28T00:57:32.667" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It might be interesting to do a sensory profile evaluation.  This could be done with an occupational therapist.  If you'd like to see an intro to this, here is a link: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.pearsonclinical.com/therapy/products/100000822/sensory-profile-2.html#tab-training&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.pearsonclinical.com/therapy/products/100000822/sensory-profile-2.html#tab-training&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Especially the last audio item on the list, the 10-minute Framework presentation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T00:57:32.667" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27577" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27560" CreationDate="2016-10-28T01:05:08.803" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The typical approach (leave the child for a short time, increase the time gradually) wouldn't have worked for our first child.  It was a little difficult to get the daycare provider to agree to a different approach, but she did, and it worked great.  He was 10 months old at the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A parent would sit in the room and read a book while the child played and interacted with the daycare provider and the other children.  The parent was a reassuring presence.  After a week of this, the parent stepped out of the room for 2 minutes about an hour into the visit, and then went back to the reading chair.  The 2 minutes were gradually increased.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The entire process took a full two weeks.  The peace of mind we had using this approach made it really worth the time we put into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our second child was more easy going and didn't have trouble acclimating in the more typical way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T01:05:08.803" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27578" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27566" CreationDate="2016-10-28T01:37:14.433" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your son will be graduating and you want to give him a graduation party.  Is your son involved in the planning?  I hope so!  I hope you checked, first of all, to see if he likes the idea?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he has accepted your kind offer, and is involved in the planning, then I hope he is working with you on developing the guest list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Developing a guest list together can be a fun project.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You may have some differences of opinion on whom to invite.  That will make for interesting conversations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that might be the best framework for doing productive thinking and communicating about the &quot;to invite mother or not to invite mother&quot; question.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand your feelings (I mean, you described the situation, and your feelings well).  At the same time, I hope we can agree that not all parental feelings are appropriate to share with one's child, even one's adult child.  Your son is entitled to his own relationship with his mother, and is entitled to have his own mix of feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T01:37:14.433" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27580" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27560" CreationDate="2016-10-28T09:37:03.797" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The same exact scenario happened with my Son. He did not have any interaction with any kids before. While entering the daycare itself, he would imitate vomiting and in a few minutes he would vomit while crying the whole time. He would keep crying until we pick him up afterwards. Now when we drop off he runs inside without even looking back at us! (I live in India BTW)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;it took a couple of weeks for him to get accustomed to the new environment.&#xA;you could try the following.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;leave him in day care but do not leave the premises. he needs to&#xA;know that you are close by until he is comfortable with the place.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;pack an extra set of clothes, towel, nappy to wash up and then continue&#xA;till the session is over.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;for a few days let him play his favorite game/ play/ toy at the day&#xA;care. once he is settled he can be introduced to the routine. if the day care allows, you could also send his favorite toy for few days. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;give breakfast in small quantities and couple of hours earlier,&#xA;before dropping off, and pack some of his favorite snacks for daycare. Halfway through he will feel hungry and eating can calm them. once back from the daycare you can feed normal quantities.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;it will be difficult to see him vomit and cry a lot; but be brave. He will get over it soon!!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also,&#xA;you can expect the same if there is a long break (like holidays) but afterwards they tend to recover faster.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24390" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-10-31T22:25:45.573" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T22:25:45.573" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27581" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27572" CreationDate="2016-10-28T15:15:58.600" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think what you wrote in the question is a very good explanation. If you want to make it short, condense it to something like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I want to finish my studies quickly and with good grades, so I can get&#xA;  a good job afterwards. Studying requires time, and therefore please &#xA;  understand that I am prioritizing stuying over working right now. &#xA;  I am trying to find a job&#xA;  that is practical to combine with my studies, but that is difficult&#xA;  and not my main priority.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the same time, talk to your parents to &lt;strong&gt;find out why they are pushing you&lt;/strong&gt; to find a job &lt;em&gt;now&lt;/em&gt;. Are they worried you are slacking off? Worried you are not getting work experience? Is money tight? Do they want to see an effort from you to help out with the family situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to resolve this conflict (if it is one) my listening to and understanding their motivation. They are your parents, so they probably want the best for you :-).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a practical note:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are looking for a small side job that is easy to schedule and interesting, have you considered &lt;strong&gt;private tutoring&lt;/strong&gt;? I used to do this as a pupil and student, and I found it quite interesting (and even learnt something myself). As an IT student, you should have enough knowledge to tutor in maths and computer science for school pupils and possible even beginners at a university. You could do it as free-lance work, or at a tutoring school (if you have such things), or even as volunteer work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T15:15:58.600" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27582" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27587" CreationDate="2016-10-28T15:34:41.220" Score="1" ViewCount="936" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a son who is 2 years and 4 months old, and a 4-month-old infant. It came to our attention that the toddler was scared of the sound from a toy, such as an electronic toy car beeping or flashing the light, or any other toys that make sounds. He would cry out loud at the sound and rush into my arms or his mother's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We also noticed that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It mostly only happened with toys - he shows no such emotion when hearing the sound of a real car or the likes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It didn't happen when he was even younger, as far as I recall, he was fine playing with those toys at age 1 or so.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also I'm always a little concerned about my son being too attached to us, as a result sometimes I decline his request for a hug and encourage him to walk on his own - am I right or is it too early to teach him to be independent and tough?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23716" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-19T19:09:24.513" LastActivityDate="2018-05-19T19:09:24.513" Title="What to do about my 2-year-old crying out loud at the noise made from a toy and is it too early to teach him to be independent?" Tags="|toddler|crying|toys|independence|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27583" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-28T16:12:23.500" Score="65" ViewCount="69041" Body="&lt;p&gt;My adult son, who is 21, expects me to do everything he wants.  He takes no responsibility for his actions, instead always finding a way to put the blame on me and or others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, he brought a dog with him when he moved back in &quot;for a few weeks&quot; (right). Recently I asked him to clean up his pup's poop from our hallway (his pup is house trained but was ignored.) His response: &quot;Can't you do it? You saw it first.&quot;  Then  he followed this by saying he would after he finished his cigarette and game. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I explained to him when he moved back home (completely free) that he had to tend to his dog when he's not at work.  Oh, he was fine with it then. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All my son's childhood was a struggle for me. A struggle for respect which I never got (he says I must earn it.) And he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He will tell lies and make it all about me, and in the end he will move out and all of it will be my fault. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will admit I've become a push over, but in the past I was not. I've had him arrested at 16 for shoving me into the wall outside of our house. When caught doing wrong by the police, I was told it wasn't bad enough to arrest (though he was cuffed at the time!) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have called the cops for him setting fires in my garage; they just told me to beat his a##. I did the whole &quot;if you do this you will lose (example his games)&quot;, so he walked in his room, bagged it up, and handed it to me, saying, &quot;You're gonna eventually take them so here.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's very intelligent and plays the polite role in front of others. The last time I called the cops in June, he immediately called them as well, stating I was suicidal and that he feared for my life. They came and spoke to us and did nothing, so I left the family member's house where we were and the cops asked, &quot;Are you just gonna leave him here?&quot; I said, yes he's 21 and an adult, and you can't force me take him with me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know I have to stand up to him but it's exhausting. Also my husband (not his father) finally had enough and put him out for his disrespect and abusive attitude towards me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess I need to be the one to change and stop trying to apologize for things I didn't do even if he believes I did. For example, he blames me for being an &quot;absent parent&quot;. I had a normal job, was gone during school hours. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He acts very entitled and dosen't respect boundaries at all. He has treated his ex wife this way as well. It seems to be towards women mostly. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just want him to grow up and have a happy and healthy life. I'm not here to place all the blame on my son. I'm here to gain knowledge about what I can do to change myself, and hopefully help my son help himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A little background information: I was 15 when my son was born he was conceived through non-consensual sex (just once). His father was 21 and not a nice person. He was violent towards me physically, mentally, and emotionally through my 13 to 16. He has not been involved in my son's life since his first year. My son had no knowledge about how he was conceived; I hid that from him because I thought it might hurt him. My son was diagnosed at age 5 with ADHD.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I notice that my safety has been mentioned a lot in comments and need to clarify that he is no longer in my home. My husband had enough; my son left but not before pushing my husband (well trying to anyway.) My son's leaving never goes smoothly; it's always a 2 hour or more event full of verbal attacks, usually all towards me unless someone speaks up for me (then they become part of his attack as well.) I'm afraid one day he won't know when to stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24962" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-17T13:04:50.050" LastActivityDate="2018-09-17T13:44:29.993" Title="My 21-year-old adult son hates me" Tags="|relationships|adult-child|abuse|" AnswerCount="8" CommentCount="11" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27584" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-28T16:13:28.347" Score="2" ViewCount="884" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am the office manager at an oral surgeon's office and the staff is telling me that there is a problem with the patients being annoyed by loud children in the lobby. This is when the patient is in the lobby and in the room with the doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should the staff do when children are being children.... :&lt;br&gt;&#xA;(Below are some of my initial thoughts)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Inform the parent (before the appointment) that if they will be bringing children with them to the visit, we ask them to bring someone along to care for the children.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If they are being loud: Have our staff tell the parent that the child is interfering with the surgeons and to ask the child if they are hungry or thirsty and if not, suggest to the patient that maybe taking them for a walk outside and returning in a few minutes might help. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any thoughts? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24963" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-07-22T17:33:46.563" LastActivityDate="2019-03-05T06:55:08.650" Title="How should staff deal with loud children in oral surgeon office lobby?" Tags="|discipline|parents|communication|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27585" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27584" CreationDate="2016-10-28T17:24:22.960" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;For children who are just accompanying parents who are patients, you could ask patients not to bring children on their visits, or to bring another caregiver.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Other possibilities:  redecorate the lobby to have soft, sound absorbing surfaces instead of hard, sound reflecting surfaces; reorganize walls or partitions to reduce the transfer of sound from the lobby to the rooms with the doctors.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the doctors mention the noise, then I'd definitely pass that along to the parents as well.  It's more difficult to make an appropriate judgement with patients, since some adults who dislike kids may not be realistic about what level of noise to expect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-10-30T05:38:08.747" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T05:38:08.747" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27587" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27582" CreationDate="2016-10-28T17:48:11.993" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like a natural reaction to the new baby.  Your older son is insecure about the loss of parental attention to the new baby, and is trying to get more attention for himself.  I have three kids spaced at two year intervals, and have been through this twice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The solution is to give as much attention to the older child as to the younger one, to the extent possible.  That will reassure him that he's not being displaced.  Definitely don't decline requests for hugs.  Encourage him to walk on his own by giving him plenty of enthusiastic praise when he does so, rather than taking it for granted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can also help to give him privileges that you don't give the baby, &quot;because he is the big brother&quot;.  That will help keep him from regressing, which is another technique kids use to retain attention when a new sibling comes along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T17:48:11.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27588" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27583" CreationDate="2016-10-28T18:22:56.677" Score="18" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;em&gt;What can i do?&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well it depends on what responses from him you're willing to put up with. Are you willing to get in a fight over this? Are you willing to have him be mad at you? Are you willing to have him say unloving things to you and leave? It seems as though you're not:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;em&gt;he moved back home (completely free)&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;em&gt;respect....he says I must earn it.&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;em&gt;he says not to piss him off&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;em&gt;in the end he will move out and all of it will be my fault&lt;/em&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He sounds to me like the one in charge of your house, not you. It's clear that you love him and you don't want to lose him, but he is an adult now, not a child. And your relationship with him is now between two adults, not an adult and a child. He's past the age where you can just &lt;em&gt;make&lt;/em&gt; him do what you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So it sounds like it's time for you to do two hard things: treat him like an adult and act like one yourself. Your house is &lt;strong&gt;your&lt;/strong&gt; house. You make the rules and you follow through with consequences if those rules aren't followed. This may sound harsh and unloving but this is exactly what your son needs. It's clear he left his previous living situation confidently knowing that your house was available. You're his safety net. He doesn't have to try very hard in life or take responsibility for his actions because he knows that mom will always bail him out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So stop bailing him out. Lovingly tell him that he's an adult and you expect him to act like one. Adults put responsibility before privilege. Bring up the incident with the dog poop in the hallway and tell him that in the future you expect him to pick up his own mess. If he refuses, then tell him you expect him to find a new place to live within two weeks. If he refuses to budge after two weeks, tell him that you love him and will always do what's best for him, and then say that you will call the police to have him forcefully removed. You might think this is overdoing it, but it's not. It's exactly what he needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And after all of this he may still blame you and try to push your buttons to make you feel as bad as possible. But again, he is an adult and that is now his choice, and there are no guarantees here. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone is to let them suffer a bit. If you never let him suffer he will never learn.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T18:22:56.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27589" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27308" CreationDate="2016-10-28T18:49:33.957" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;You're already doing it. Spending time with them, telling them that you love them, listening to their advice, etc... is what they want the most. So the trick for you will be to&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Keep doing it&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really, that's it. It may sound overly simplistic, but you're approaching the years where it becomes more and more difficult to spend quality time with your parents; especially when you have little ones of your own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you continue to do what you're doing all through your twenties and thirties you will have done the best things. And what's great is your kids will see you do it and view it as normal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7962" LastActivityDate="2016-10-28T18:49:33.957" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27590" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27583" CreationDate="2016-10-28T19:03:06.267" Score="112" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a situation in which you cannot change your son's behavior; you need to either adjust your expectations (i.e. change yourself, the only person you really have control over), or let him suffer the consequences of his bad behavior (i.e. ask him to respect his agreement or to leave.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have struggled with your son's attitude for a long time. He's an adult now; you shouldn't still have to be struggling with rebellion.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The vast majority of parents love their children dearly, and when they don't turn out to be kind, compassionate, honest and possessing integrity, parents often wonder if they did something wrong; they feel guilty. This guilt can sometimes override their better judgement, and being a compassionate person puts the parent at an even greater risk of being taken advantage of by an immature offspring.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Only you know why you allowed your son to move back in. Maybe that was the right thing to do back then; maybe it wasn't. But it's done. What do you do now?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son seems to use &lt;a href=&quot;https://distantspark.wordpress.com/what-is-blame-shifting/&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;blame shifting&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt; like a pro. Blame shifting is normal when you're 5 years old, but it isn't in an adult. In fact, when it's done all the time, it's a form of emotional abuse (and I do not use the word &lt;em&gt;abuse&lt;/em&gt; lightly.) The problem is that while we all blame-shift &lt;em&gt;sometimes&lt;/em&gt; (that's what makes the &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;amp;authuser=0&amp;amp;site=imghp&amp;amp;tbm=isch&amp;amp;source=hp&amp;amp;biw=1344&amp;amp;bih=760&amp;amp;q=thanks+obama+meme&amp;amp;oq=Thanks%2C+O&amp;amp;gs_l=img.1.1.0l10.1282.5902.0.9550.9.9.0.0.0.0.150.1150.0j9.9.0....0...1.1.64.img..0.9.1148.U-42SeJH7XQ&quot;&gt;&quot;Thanks, Obama&quot;&lt;/a&gt; meme so funny), if the behavior is not confronted and corrected by the person doing it (in this case, your son), we will never really improve ourselves. Giving your son consequences is an opportunity to improve himself; you can look at it as not only your parental duty, but a gift.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some things you might think about to help you cope with blame-shifting:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Refuse to feel guilty.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Refuse to become defensive.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Refuse to react (don't get angry or feel hurt when &lt;em&gt;he&lt;/em&gt; is in the wrong).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Refuse to help someone who refuses to help himself.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Refuse to live in misery in your own home (recognize you have a right to a certain decree of peace and harmony.)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would recommend that you pick a quiet time to have a sit-down talk with your son. (If he refuses, reread the above.) During your talk, ask not only about his expectations of you, but about his feelings as well. Tell him about your expectations and feelings as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, as childish as it might seem, draw up a contract outlining what you believe are reasonable expectations. They might include things like&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You clean up after your own dog even when I'm free.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You never threaten me in any way (no &quot;Watchout, or I'll get mad.&quot;)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You expect to be treated with courtesy and a normal amount of respect.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;(Optional) You help me around the house by doing x, y, and z.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you refuse to meet these conditions, you have exactly 30 days to find another place to live.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have him sign it, and hang it on the refrigerator. If he refuses to sign it, tell him he has exactly 30 days to find someplace else to live.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the US, you have to give 30 days notice before you can evict someone, so this is a serious affair. Please remember that letting your son mistreat you without accepting responsibility for his actions is not doing him any kind of favor at all, let alone what it does to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you've given him notice, call a lawyer to let him know (lawyers practicing solo in family law are usually quite affordable. The bigger the firm, the greater the cost.) Then stick to your guns if you have to move his stuff out to the curb yourself and change the locks.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Always repeat to yourself that you're doing this for him, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's time to stop the crazy-making. You have my best wishes for achieving a peaceful home and life. You deserve it. Everyone does.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edited to add:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son is no longer in your house, the legalities of putting him out are no longer relevant, so what's left is&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I just want him to grow up and have a happy and healthy life. I'm not here to place all the blame on my son. I'm here to gain knowledge about what I can do to change myself, and hopefully help my son help himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is nothing you can do to change others, but &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can have a better relationship with your son by learning more about &lt;a href=&quot;https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;boundaries&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, how to set realistic ones and how to enforce them. Your son &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; learn from you how to respect boundaries, and hopefully, if you set good, healthy boundaries, he might learn one aspect of what it takes to establish and maintain healthy relationships. But that's about the extent of any influence you might have in shaping your son unless you want to spring for therapy for him, if he would even agree to it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a lot of turmoil and more than a few issues here; if you are very serious about learning about yourself, why you've become more of a &quot;push-over&quot;, and what would be most helpful in self care and caring for others, I would suggest getting into &lt;a href=&quot;http://psychcentral.com/lib/understanding-different-approaches-to-psychotherapy/&quot;&gt;therapy&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-10-31T17:44:14.467" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T17:44:14.467" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27591" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27583" CreationDate="2016-10-28T20:43:33.337" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the short term, I'd simply put all agreements in writing, which contain three items each per agreement:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It is &quot;measurable/quantitative&quot; ... e.g. empty all the trash bins (kitchen, bathroom, and den) and not just &quot;take out the trash&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A &quot;by when&quot; ... e.g. empty all the trash bins (kitchen, bathroom, and den) between 5PM and Midnight on each Thursday and not just &quot;take out the trash, now&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A &quot;measurable/quantitative&quot; consequence in the failure to fulfill the commitment ... e.g. empty all the trash bins (kitchen, bathroom, and den) between 5PM and Midnight on each Thursday or you will be assessed a penalty of $25 per calendar day and not just &quot;take out the trash, now, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;or else!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the long-term, I recommend a program called The Landmark Forum, and request he attend with you.  If he decides not to initially, you can revisit the topic as you work to complete the curriculum.  It's a six-month collection of 4 courses that might transform your life, and that of those around you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24968" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-17T13:44:29.993" LastActivityDate="2018-09-17T13:44:29.993" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27592" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27583" CreationDate="2016-10-28T20:57:43.930" Score="51" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have never posted on this exchange before - but I read this and couldn't help myself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let me first say I have no background in parenting other than raising my 2 children. I have read no parenting books nor think I am the best parent in the world. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If I was in your situation I would kick him out. Simple and plain. He is an adult and you are no longer responsive for raising him. Your job is over. When I say kick out I do not mean give him time to find a place, help him with rent, or any of that bull s***. I mean get him out that day. But it sounds like you have a history of letting him walk all over you so you probably won't do that. The reason I say &quot;have a history of getting walked on&quot; is because if he has the gall to speak to you like that - it didn't develop overnight. Also the fact that he speaks to you like that reflects on your parenting...You need to grow a pair and be hard on the little ******. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he needs help then he needs to learn how to treat those who help him with respect. I bet if he treated anyone else the way he treats you - especially in their respective houses - not one person in their right mind would put up with it. It is your job as a parent to prepare him for the harsh reality of the world - and coddling him will not do that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't worry about him liking you - either he will grow up or he will not. Plus he will always love you despite what you may think.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24969" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-09-17T13:36:17.950" LastActivityDate="2018-09-17T13:36:17.950" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27593" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27583" CreationDate="2016-10-28T23:12:39.573" Score="10" Body="&lt;p&gt;This seems to me analogous to living with an alcoholic: you go along with their behaviour, and eventually you're living in a situation with someone else's 'rules'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;... be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me&quot; sounds threatening. I'm not sure what you can do; I recommend you get some counseling (advice) from someone with experience: maybe a lawyer; police; women's shelter; maybe your doctor; people like that. He appears to be claiming that his uncontrolled rage would be your fault: that's unacceptable, IMO.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another possibility might be (together with your son) a relationship counsellor: who (I imagine) might provide an environment (e.g. in their office) where you can explain your needs and motives, maybe define a plan or agree to some contract, without being threatened.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;He will tell lies and make it all about me&quot; sounds to me like &quot;guilt-tripping&quot; and &quot;gaslighting&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;... all of it will be my fault&quot; is difficult to unpack in this format. Dare I say though that its being your fault might be, seen from another perspective, a &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; thing: in that maybe you should &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to be &quot;responsible&quot;, maybe you &lt;em&gt;should&lt;/em&gt; do whatever the proper thing is, given the circumstance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you could be advised to prepare a plan, to use in any emergency i.e. if and when you feel unsafe. You might not want to use that plan, but it's better (for everyone) than allowing or rewarding abuse. You might need to prepare a plan in advance because you can't plan well when you're being stressed. An example of a plan is to get out of the house (with or without your keys, ID, money, and phone), and go to a neighbour, friend, hotel, or shelter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming it's an unhealthy relationship, you should probably keep your other healthy relationships if you have any: work, friends, people with whom you share a hobby, family, professionals, self-help groups. It's typical that people in an abusive relationship become isolated; and it's easier to stay sane, and keep a sense of proportion, and of what's normal, and to set a good example (of having healthy relationships) if you're not isolated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19836" LastEditorUserId="19836" LastEditDate="2016-10-29T16:56:18.897" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T16:56:18.897" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27594" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27583" CreationDate="2016-10-29T00:28:03.700" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The first thing you need to do, is deal with his rage threat.  You need to let him know that it is never acceptable to blow up at you and he cannot live with you if he does.  If you aren't comfortable having that conversation with him, you should have him move out (a restraining order might be in order if it were really bad).  I'm hoping it isn't that bad and he just uses it as a threat to get you to back down.  My feeling is if it is used as a tool, he can control it.  If he can't control it, you aren't in a good situation and need to have him move out.  Once that is taken care of, I'd have a very serious talk with him laying out the situation.  I'd say something like this...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;You are living here, because I am a loving and generous mother.  If&#xA;  you can't respect that, you can't live here.  I expect you to help out&#xA;  and carry your weight.  If I am asking you to do something, it's&#xA;  something you need to take care of.  I shouldn't have to remind you&#xA;  to help out.  I will always love you and help you out when I can,&#xA;  but will not allow you to be abusive towards me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's the basis, a lot more should go with it, based on your expectations.  Do you mind him living with you for an undetermined time or do you expect him to be finding his own place.  I wouldn't make a list of things he needs to do, based on his current actions I'd expect him to use it against you, if you want him to do something not on the list.  If you want, keep a private list of things you have talked to him about.  Consistency is very important, you can't let him chip away at you trying to get you to lower your expectations.  I wouldn't expect things to change immediately, but I would come up with some criteria and timeline to evaluate the situation (and write it down).  You may want to change it and that may be appropriate.  Just make sure to hold onto all of it, as a record of how things are going.  If you get to the point you feel it isn't working, you need to have him move out.  I hope this helps a little.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24972" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T00:28:03.700" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27595" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27499" CreationDate="2016-10-29T00:36:51.413" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;You are not yet 18, so please note that he and your mother are still responsible for you and that you need to abide by their house rules (even after you turn 18, house rules rule as you are a tenant).  Also, who paid for the computer?  Are you watching things you would not watch with the family (if they wanted to)?  That's a problem.  You can't expect total privacy until you are 18.  Your parents are right for monitoring computer use right now until you are 18.  Even after you turn 18, there's still the question of who's computer it is, and then who's network you are using.  If they own either one, they have every right to monitor its use.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would advise not overreacting by moving out before turning 18 and not  before finishing high school.  Suck it up, be respectful, and be thankful they are providing you a roof, food, and whatever else they pay for.  Moving out early will cause unnecessary drama for years and make your life unecessarily difficult.  I have no reason to believe you guys don't love each other, just that there's some disagreement about computer use.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the large scheme of things, this is a relatively minor issue that I would not advise making into a larger issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds to me like the father is doing this just to make sure you have your priorities straight, and are forming good computer habits going into adulthood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;**Side note:  I think Big Bang Theory is a great show.  Maybe your family will like it.  Have them watch an episode or two, if nothing else to calm their notions of what the show is NOT.  Then they can see there's nothing to worry about and will either enjoy it or relegate it to your &quot;geeky&quot; tastes :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user24631" LastEditorDisplayName="user24631" LastEditDate="2016-10-29T00:45:19.260" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T00:45:19.260" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27596" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27583" CreationDate="2016-10-29T03:57:59.520" Score="42" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That is a threat, and you should call the police to report it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For your son to respect you, first you have to respect yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T03:57:59.520" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27597" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27499" CreationDate="2016-10-29T06:04:15.527" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Running from the problem doesn't solve it. You want to be treated like an adult but are you willing to act like one? Then, talk to your dad in a mature way, maybe even imagine what he would say in your shoes (to one of his peers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The best way to get the respect you desire is to earn it. One way you do that is to communicate with your father in a calm, intelligent manor. Perhaps, take him to breakfast early one morning on the weekend and discuss your perspectives man-to-man. But seek &lt;em&gt;first&lt;/em&gt; to understand, &lt;em&gt;then&lt;/em&gt; to be understood (only after you genuinely comprehend his point if view). One conversation won't fix everything but it's a start. Continue to act honorably like a man, keep your word  and do what he asks of you and I guarantee after a few months you will earn his respect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, your father wants you to become a man just as badly as you do. Maybe reminding him of that will help him loosen up a bit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24978" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T06:04:15.527" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27601" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="3194" CreationDate="2016-10-29T14:16:13.640" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 4 month old has been sleeping 10-12 hours a night for about a month and a half. She usually had one feeding at the 6 hour Mark but has dropped that. She still takes a 2-3 hour nap in the mid afternoon and a few cat naps here and there but she's thriving and such a happy baby. Enjoy the blessing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24982" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T14:16:13.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27602" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27583" CreationDate="2016-10-29T14:45:45.077" Score="15" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;And he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a serious threat. And he has shown he will not shy away from physical violence:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;(...) had him arrested at 16 for shoving me into the wall (...)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h2&gt;You are in an abusive relationship with your son. Get out.&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your husband need to get your son out of the house and &amp;mdash; I'm sorry to say this &amp;mdash; preferably arrested. He has gotten physical in the past, he has threatened you now. There is no reason to believe this to be an empty threat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You and your husband will need to plan how to maximise your safety while doing this, but this needs to be done. You may still love your son but I don't see any evidence he loves you back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="5026" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T14:45:45.077" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27603" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27499" CreationDate="2016-10-29T22:13:03.207" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The best way to address this situation, in my opinion, is to sit down and have a calm discussion.  Simply state what it is you are watching, and offer to have him watch a few episodes with you.  To be honest, I had the same issues when I was around your age, and did not handle it well, I was completely defensive, and angry about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All this did was lead to alienation for a while, it did nothing to lessen accusations that arose due to assumptions on the part of my parents.  But after having them sit down and see what it was I was watching, mainly anime like Cowboy Bebop at the time, they were less paranoid of things.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And on the statement that you would never treat your offspring the way you have been treated:  It may sound cliche, but it is always surprising how when we get older, we find ourselves reacting to things in the ways our parents did, and that we swore we would never do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24985" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T22:13:03.207" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27604" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12471" CreationDate="2016-10-29T22:24:44.227" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;As someone with Asperger's Syndrome, and currently finishing his first degree, I am glad to see people taking the road less traveled and actually seeking information early on, as too many hide from negative signs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was diagnosed late in High School(2001), and wish I was diagnosed sooner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is always a good idea to test your child to see if anything is abnormal in development, but in my view sometimes the obsessing over &quot;flags&quot; and &quot;milestones&quot; can start a bit early.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure if there are any guidelines for testing a child for A.S., as far as what age to start goes, here is my advice:  If you feel something is wrong, if you have a nagging suspicion that the social/cognitive development of your child is not on track, seek advice.  Do not always go with the first answer you get however.  Do research on your own as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24985" LastActivityDate="2016-10-29T22:24:44.227" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27605" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12471" CreationDate="2016-10-30T02:20:33.713" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a child with a neurological difference (Tourette Syndrome and ADHD; he is 13 now).  When we figured it out and got the official diagnosis, it was really helpful, because (1) it enabled us to learn about his differences and understand him better; (2) it helped us explain his differences to the school.  Yes, there was a period of fear, but mainly, receiving the diagnosis meant we were given the key to understanding our child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In general, I think a diagnosis is mainly useful as the beginning of a process to create a roadmap for helping your child make his or her way through life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My son will be the first to tell you ways his differences are strengths.  And it's all true.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Aspergers strikes me as a type of neurological difference where this strength-based way of looking at things is relatively easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can relate to the anxiety you are feeling.  Unfortunately it is leading you to take a daisy-petal-pulling approach.  Similar to &quot;She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not,&quot; your note-taking, and worrying, are taking the form of &quot;She's Aspie, Aspie she's not, she's Aspie, Aspie she's not.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her neurological differences may turn out to be significant or subtle as she matures, we don't have a crystal ball.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I suggest the following as a more productive way of journaling about your daughter's development:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;in what ways are her neurological differences getting in her way?  In the way of family, peers and teachers?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;what environmental changes and what coping skills (on her part and the part of others) are being tried, with what results?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;what challenges are you, as parents, facing, and what types of support are helpful for you?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;don't forget to note down both some subtle and spectacular ways you derive joy from your daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;P.S. The devotion and thoughtfulness I could see in your post suggest that your daughter is lucky to have the two of you in her corner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-10-30T03:54:56.170" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T03:54:56.170" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27606" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24438" CreationDate="2016-10-30T10:15:29.290" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Please take this answer as purely neutral, I am neiter defending your father nor implying any fault with you. These things are *much* easier to analyze and understand if you remove any trace of the world &quot;fault&quot; from your thinking. Instead, try to find a mindset that mainly revolves around &quot;cause and effect&quot; as the driving motivator.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Also note that this question completely ignores the strangling attack or the getting kicked out, but focuses on the initial events leading up to the rest. I assume that the events before the escalation were simple everyday sister-to-sister bantering, and not some kind of hard abuse.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Analysis&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;It went on a bit like that. He just got more and more angry. I kept telling him...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So he went on and on, and you went on and on. It seems to be like &lt;em&gt;both of you&lt;/em&gt; wanted to be right at all cost. This kind of discussion can lead to nothing except an escalation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anyone of you two had stopped at any time, the situation could and would have defused. Since you obviously cannot make the other person stop in such a situation, you, by pure logic, do have to find a way to stop yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This &quot;stopping&quot; is very, very hard when you are in emotional chaos; especially when you are in a familiar situation. It's like someone is rubbing salt in your wounds. Still, it can be done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So the takeaway in for this particular part of your situation would be: no, your father does not &quot;always want to be right&quot;. You both do, and you have not developed a way to communicate with each other that leads to good results.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;What to do&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;What can I do when my father always wants to be right? How can I speak to him about this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You do not speak to him about this in the sense of &quot;making him see things&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You shift your own way of thinking and talking. Not because he is your father, but because this is the only thing that ever works in &lt;em&gt;any&lt;/em&gt; problematic combination of people. Note that this does not mean that you blame yourself (remember, there is no &quot;fault&quot; involved) or that you just are a passive victim from now on, on the contrary! You are taking hard work on yourself to make your situation better, with the understanding that changing the other person is usually impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your autism makes it difficult for me to put up specific advice, as I don't know how it manifests in your or your father. I also don't know how your age of 22 translates to your emotional age. But ask yourself a few questions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why were you so emotionally upset by your sisters insults? No, do not write an answer here in the comments, but sit down and &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; find out why that is.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Could you have ignored the insults?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How did the situation present itself to your father? How is it for him to be a judge between two fighting people?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Was the initial reaction of your father, patiently explaining something to you, really so bad, considering the spectrum of possible reactions?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Why was it so hard on you that your father tried to explain something which you already knew?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What would have been your internal emotional reaction if you had not known what you had done wrong, and your father had explained it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What exactly in your reaction could have made your father go nuclear? Was it only the fact that you kept insisting and coming back with the same arguments, time after time?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;You &lt;em&gt;did&lt;/em&gt; do something wrong towards your sister (you do not tell us what it was, and it doesn't really matter). Would it have been possible to simply ignore the result, apologize to your sister, and be done with it?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Was there any way that you could just have said to your father, after letting him explain to you what you did wrong: &quot;Doh, you are right; I thought so myself already. I'm so sorry.&quot;? Would that have somehow lessened/weakened you? Would it have solved the situation?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you give yourself a moment, you probably can think of more questions to ask yourself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, it is perfectly possible and just fine if you can answer only few or even none of those questions. That is a sign that you &lt;em&gt;may&lt;/em&gt; benefit from some outside help. This can simply be an outside adult you trust who you can talk to (and ask those or other questions). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some organizations like the Red Cross or Caritas offer &quot;family therapy&quot;, maybe even free. You do not need to drag your father with you, but you can easily go there alone and talk about it with them (make it clear that you want to know what &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt; can do, not what your father can do). It also does not need to take dozens of sessions; maybe one good long talk is enough to get you started.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When and if you get a good understanding in these questions, there may, at a latter date, come a point where you sit down with your father and talk about it in a very relaxed manner, possibly with some neutral moderator. But getting the above questions cleared up for yourself helps a lot, first, and may even resolve the communication problem to some extent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Violence&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As said in the preamble, this question &lt;em&gt;only&lt;/em&gt; relates to the initial communication problem, &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; your father trying to strangle you or kick you out of the house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is intentional as these are two very different topics. It should be abundantly clear that you do &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; take physical abuse from anybody. If this subsists, don't fool around with looking for answer, but, plainly, go to the police or stay a few days with friends, relatives or if you really have nobody else, a home for mistreated women or something like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Moving out&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is the (not altogether unlikely) possibility that whatever you or your father do, you will never get these communication issues resolved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may be time for you to move out of your parents house. You are an adult, and obviously you do not feel like a small child anymore. Your father now lives with another adult instead of a child, as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Try to imagine yourself living on your own, maybe with your boyfriend - does it feel like something you could do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24863" LastEditorUserId="24863" LastEditDate="2016-10-30T10:37:26.710" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T10:37:26.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27607" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-30T10:34:51.623" Score="3" ViewCount="1237" Body="&lt;p&gt;This should not have happened but it did happen. I'm the mother to a 14-month-old girl. We were going for our usual morning walk in our garden. Suddenly I felt something fall on me from above. Without thinking, and forgetting that I was carrying my daughter, I flung my arms out. My daughter fell onto the earth and she looked frightened and confused. My heart sank when I realized what I had done.. it has been a week but I keep replaying the incident in my mind.. how could I be so immature? So irresponsible? So selfish. I'm shocked and disgusted at my behaviour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I honestly feel like the worst mother ever - I've never heard of a mother dropping her baby for this reason. I picked her up right away, and consoled her. Then I took her to the doctor who examined her and said that there was nothing to worry about physically. But I'm more worried about the emotional effects. I'm her mother, she should feel safe and secure with me, but I've completely destroyed her confidence in me. How will she trust me again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24991" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-19T16:37:30.990" LastActivityDate="2018-08-19T16:37:30.990" Title="If a baby is accidentally dropped by a parent, does the baby lose trust in the parent?" Tags="|toddler|relationships|emotional-well-being|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27611" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27614" CreationDate="2016-10-30T16:16:55.900" Score="-3" ViewCount="470" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why I'm posting this here:&lt;/strong&gt; My roommate moved out of his mother's and step dad's home at 17, lived in a social house for a few months, then moved in with me. He has very loose contact with them and I feel like I'm the only person who can have an immediate effect on him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I (mid 20s male) am living together with a 17yo guy for about 3 months now. He had some (light, I assume) trouble at home and was living in a social house with drunken people.&#xA;He seemed like a normal, if a bit shy, 17yo and was the most favorable candidate for the open room I had.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now he is getting from the front door right to his computer and rarely comes out. The rest of the flat barely exists to him, so not making things dirty, let alone cleaning does not enter his mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Additionally concepts like, not having the window open in autumn, while also turning on heating seem to be foreign to him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He even put a pan full of burned pasta into the dish washer, not thinking about, where the pasta would go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm getting tired of having to point out obvious things to him, since I have to address every little thing. Today I found him wrapped in blankets in front of his computer, while having his window open.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What can I do to make a lasting change on his behavior, other than tell him 3 different things, that he is obviously doing wrong every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know I'm not a parent or relative, but I feel like I am forced to do some parenting on their behalf, that's why I hope this question is not too off-topic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Update:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I should also mention, that I'm not a great communicator. I have trouble bringing up problems, that I feel are obvious, because I have the feeling, that if they are obvious, but are not getting done, why should my intervention change anything about that?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also rather avoid confrontation. The fact, that I did bring up a few of the obvious problems, his response being to change exactly these but no more, or not for long makes me feel powerless even more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My current plan is to keep a list of things I don't like, take him away from the computer to list them off and tell him, that he needs to work on them and his attitude, otherwise I'll throw him out (which is in my power).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Heating cost aside. I feel like I brought in a pre-teen, not a budding adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11340" LastEditorUserId="11340" LastEditDate="2016-10-30T16:52:14.220" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T17:41:08.457" Title="How can I positively affect my underage roommate?" Tags="|teen|computer|chores|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="9" ClosedDate="2016-10-31T10:30:08.537" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27612" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27611" CreationDate="2016-10-30T16:46:38.437" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is definitely a challenge, but there isn't really very much you can do at this point other than encourage him to do activities with you, and show him what chores you need done, by doing them together.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like what he really needs is professional help, so if you can get him along to see a therapist, that could help him adjust from his current behavioural cycle to something more positive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T16:46:38.437" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27613" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="28792" CreationDate="2016-10-30T17:11:53.633" Score="4" ViewCount="361" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have been offered a contract for work and we are planning a move with my wife and ~7 month daughter to Denmark about 2.5 months later. My daughter will be about 10 months old then. My wife wants to work in Denmark, too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've heard so many good things about the Danish child care system. My friends from work told me they began using child care from their children's 6th month and everyone I talked to was very happy with it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are coming from a culture where either you leave the child to your grandparents, or you say goodbye to your career until the ages of about 3-4 when you can leave your child to a kindergarten.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;When is the best time for daycare in our case?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16172" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-28T13:35:57.573" LastActivityDate="2019-02-28T13:35:57.573" Title="At what age should I enroll my child in daycare in Denmark?" Tags="|infant|age-appropriate|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27614" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27611" CreationDate="2016-10-30T17:41:08.457" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you are beginning to see why he had problems with his family.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At this point I think you have three choices, and you need to make a clear decision about which way to go, and a commitment to yourself to follow through with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Put up with him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Chuck him out and find a flatmate you can live with.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Start acting like a parent. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem you have is with discipline. Inculcating discipline isn't about punishment, its about setting clear expectations with some kind of sanction if they aren't met. So I suggest you proceed as follows:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Set the ground rules. Keeping the place tidy, vacuuming, washing up etc. It can help to write them down and post them on a board.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Set some kind of sanction. This is a problem given that he is 17 and you are not a parent, but do you control the internet access to the house? If so, cutting off his net access might be effective.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't give up. Be consistent. He probably got into these bad habits because of lack of effective parenting at home. 17 is late to start, but you might be able to manage it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find a time when you can have a conversation, and use it to make clear statements about how things are going to be. If he responds in a confrontational manner (&quot;Stop nagging me, your not my mum!&quot;) then tell him he can either get with the programme or move out. Tell him &quot;Welcome to the real world&quot;. &quot;No I'm not your mum. Your mum obviously put up with this, but I'm not, and nobody else is going to.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you find something wrong (e.g. the burned pasta) then go and tell him to come and sort it out now. If he won't, cut his net access until he does. Be firm, but don't get angry. Just keep repeating what needs to be done. I understand you don't like confrontation, but dealing with such situations is a skill that can be learned. If you practice then it will get easier in time. Think of &quot;dealing with confrontation&quot; as a skill you want to learn, and look at your room-mate as someone to practice on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It would also be a good idea to teach him basic life skills. If he can't cook, then prepare meals together. Wash up together. Afterwards go down the pub together (tell him yes, he is coming, and you'll buy him a soft drink).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T17:41:08.457" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27615" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27607" CreationDate="2016-10-30T21:28:41.767" Score="15" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;But I'm more worried about the emotional effects. I'm her mother, she&#xA;  should feel safe and secure with me, but I've completely destroyed her&#xA;  confidence in me. How will she trust me again?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not your child speaking, but your own worries. I can understand that you are worried, but to reassure you: &lt;em&gt;Your child is incapable of thinking like that.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Babies are biologically hard-wired to trust their carers - after all, they cannot survive without them (even severely mistreated children often still feel attached to their parents).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What's more - your child does not realize (or even care) you were &quot;immature&quot;, &quot;irresponsible&quot; or &quot;selfish&quot;. All she knows is she fell down, you picked her up and comforted here - so from her point of view everything is ok. She probably forgot the incident half an hour later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I don't think there is anything to worry about - accidents happen, and babies are not vindictive, they live in the moment. There will probably be several more accidents for your child until she is grown up, and as long as you are there for her when she needs you, you have nothing to worry about.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, if you still feel uneasy about the incident, you might consider some type of counseling. Not for reparing the relationship to your daughter (which is not affected by such things), but to work on your own feeling of insecurity - because if you feel insecure around your daughter, she &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; know, and that could possible influence your relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7479" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T21:28:41.767" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27616" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12471" CreationDate="2016-10-30T22:20:29.813" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Woman tend to be more social than men. This same trend carries over with the ASD spectrum and Aspergers. Jokingly speaking, if the average man is a 5 out of 10 in social skills, the average woman a 7 and if autism deducts 3 points from your social stat, an average autistic man is a borderline recluse (2) but an average autistic female may just be that quiet girl in Chem class (4).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This, some have suspected, has lead to an under-diagnosis in women. You can Google &quot;female autism&quot; and you'll get articles like &quot;Autism—It's Different in Girls&quot; from Scientific America. Because we tend to diagnose men, the checklist of criteria overly focus on men. There are fringe groups that say we should have gender-specific definitions of ASD and Aspergers because woman fall through the definition crack.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the prelude over, time to be more exact to your question&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Does this sound like the behaviour or a neurological &quot;normal&quot; (I hate to use the term) child?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Typical/Atypical or Inferior/Superior are the preferred adjectives, the former being the correct scientific terms.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd personally say 'no'; however, the experts you associate with and who interact with your child are more knowledgeable than randoms on the internet that only hear your worst fears :) Even a male autistic man won't always exhibit all the key indicators &lt;em&gt;to someone not trained to recognize them&lt;/em&gt; and it is quite common for women to miss even more. So it is not the amount of key indicators absent that matter but the amount present.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If your daughter is found to have Aspergers or any ASD, I'd not worry about it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Being autistic &lt;em&gt;does&lt;/em&gt; cause me a lot of grief and pain but mainly because the world is harsh. I feel deeply for people in wheelchairs and perhaps this analogy would help you better cope if your daughter has Aspergers: imagine if the paediatrician suspected that your daughter was a paraplegic. You'd be shocked and surprised. You'd look at all the red flags, realize some you can check off and some are iffy. You'd think about her future, worry for a bit, but realize she can still live a fully-functional life, smile at jokes, laugh, play some sports, go to school, and one day perhaps have an independent life and family. The only issue is that the world is not designed for her; daily she'll be ever subtle reminded that the world often presumes that people have two legs that work a certain way. But other than the world being a cold and harsh place, she'll be fine :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Writer's note: I'm casually using the terms ASD, autism, and Aspergers interchangeable. Partly for convenience and partly, partly because it wasn't until recently that Aspergers was removed from the ASD, and partly because they are close enough that women often get misdiagnosed for years in one category when they should be in the other.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11842" LastEditorUserId="11842" LastEditDate="2016-10-30T22:25:40.677" LastActivityDate="2016-10-30T22:25:40.677" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27617" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27618" CreationDate="2016-10-30T23:11:23.907" Score="4" ViewCount="525" Body="&lt;p&gt;How do you persuade a 2yo to co-operate more? Specifically I'd like my daughter to get dressed calmly into her pyjamas with my help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Currently our bedtime routine involves:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Read story while drinking milk (she does this calmly)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Brush teeth (most of the time she allows us to brush her teeth well)&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Change nappy and get into pyjamas. At this point she runs into the adjacent rooms giggling and saying &quot;I'm running away!&quot; or hides under her bed. Or she lies on her bed right at the top right against the wall where it's harder to reach her. The problem here is it drags out bed time at the end of the day when everyone is tired.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I've tried asking her &quot;do you want me to help you get dressed or do you want to get dressed?&quot; but she just ignores this. She is capable of putting on most of her clothes given enough time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way to get her dressed is to first catch her. This feels sub-optimal and as she gets bigger I don't think my back will support picking her up all the time. All the chasing feels like setting a bad precedent as well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Threatening to take favourite toys away wins co-operation but I think there may be better techniques out there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she's on her changing mat she behaves well if we talk to her and ask her questions. (&quot;What was your favourite thing today?&quot;, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are glad she isn't completely subservient and we'll probably miss this phase when she grows out of it, but calmer bedtimes would be nice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any recommendations please?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24240" LastActivityDate="2016-11-09T14:37:23.710" Title="How to encourage 2 year old to co-operate" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27618" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27617" CreationDate="2016-10-31T00:56:05.000" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to give a general answer for this sort of thing because every child is different. What works for us is to read the stories (usually two of them) as the last thing before getting into bed. If there are too many delays during the rest of it (pyjamas, brushing teeth, etc) then the stories are the first to go, and she knows it. So sometimes we only do one story and on occasion, none at all. That way it's an immediate penalty, rather than delayed. (If you take a toy away today, she's not likely to remember why it's gone tomorrow.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She will probably grow out of this phase before she grows much bigger, you're not likely to have to run around catching a 7 year old for example. By that time, there will be a whole new set of challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9114" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T00:56:05.000" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27619" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27617" CreationDate="2016-10-31T00:59:37.960" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would first try to see if she has any reason to be uncomfortable with the pjs (like, maybe its a bit tight?). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if that possibility is ruled out, then , it might just be a phase, my 1.5 year old does this pretty much everytime I try to change the dipeys. Its just a game she enjoys. I try to hold her by the hand before I take her to change :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Greg gave a very good suggestion: saving the stories for the last.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24387" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T00:59:37.960" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27620" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-31T04:33:25.667" Score="3" ViewCount="1183" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 1-year old son that has a lot of trouble sleeping at night. From the day he was born until about 10 months old he had to be rocked to sleep. At 10 months old we sleep trained him using Ferber method and it worked. At bedtime we would hold him for a while, read a book, pray, etc., then put him into his crib. He would cry for a very short time, sometimes less than a minute, then fall asleep. Throughout the night he would seldom wake up, maybe one time at most, and even then he would fall back to sleep by himself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he turned 1 year old this method only had a 50-50 chance of working. Now when we put him into his crib he would cry for a long time, could be up to 15 minutes or more. And when he cries a long time, there's a good chance he would puke, and then chaos ensues. During the night he wakes up frequently, 2-3 times, and need to be rocked to sleep again. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that he has no trouble at all sleeping two naps during the morning and afternoon. We rock him to sleep at naps, and it's usually fairly effortless. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I do not think he goes to bed hungry. We give him an 8 ounce bottle of fresh milk about an hour or so before bed time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what went wrong and I don't know how to fix it. Why did he revert back to previous state? Is there something about night time that scares him now that he's more developed? We have a small night light in his room. Thanks for your help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19244" LastEditorUserId="19244" LastEditDate="2016-10-31T04:52:23.013" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T07:53:58.193" Title="1-year old has trouble sleeping at night" Tags="|sleep|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27621" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27620" CreationDate="2016-10-31T07:48:33.040" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am in no way an expert, as most parents likely feel obligated to claim before proposing an answer to another parent's &quot;problem&quot;. We are all really just a bunch of kids who grew and had kids of our own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said that, my second daughter also had this issue, and honestly to this day has issues with falling asleep at night. She is now (I believe) 4 years old. The key here is to understand why your child has such a difficult time falling asleep, and trying to deal with the root accordingly and not the symptom itself. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my research at the time, it turned out like any issue really, there are a number of possibilities. The most prominent of course being over-stimulation, especially in young children, and even more specifically in young children who may have hyper active tendencies (thats my nice way of avoiding the psychology catch-phrase &quot;ADHD&quot;, because honestly we all know its a bit over used). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since your child is still so young and therefore incapable of understanding or even communicating their feelings, you will have to go through the process of elimination. Start with a bed time routine if you have not already. The most critical step here being to identify when your child naturally starts to get sleepy, because forcing a sleep routine on a child at a time when their activity is still at its peak only leads to stress for both you and the child. Do away with any stimulating events, activities, surroundings, etc a few hours before their &quot;bed time&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I dont want to detail any sort of process, for two main reasons: the first being that one size never fits all, ever. And the second being who the hell am i to tell you how to deal with your child? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Having said all that, I feel like i would not be helping if i did not point out one apparent issue with how you are approaching the problem (based on how you worded your question): this is more difficult on your child than it is on you. Your child is not &quot;reverting&quot; and nothing is &quot;wrong&quot;. Some children, like some adults, just have trouble sleeping. You as their parent are really there to help them understand how to deal with a problem that affects them personally at a time in their development where they are incapable of understanding the issue well enough to address it themselves. NOTICE: I am not calling you out, or saying you are a bad parent. I am simply telling you what I wish more parents would have told me: your kid is going through this, and you are sitting on the outside observing and HOPING to help. Never lose sight of that, stay patient, and remember some problems aren't really problems, but rather facts of life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wishing your little person the best of luck, as I know first hand how difficult this is for a child. Not because of my daughter, but because I myself suffered through sleep issues from childhood up until this very day. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25000" LastEditorUserId="25000" LastEditDate="2016-11-02T07:53:58.193" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T07:53:58.193" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27622" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-31T11:11:54.547" Score="6" ViewCount="12072" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4-year-old son who although can be very kind, thoughtful and lovely to be around, exhibits difficult behavior at home and at school which I think are related to power struggles and control.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When asked to do something he does not want to do, such as tidy up, get ready for school, wait in line at the park etc., he runs away and gets very angry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He'll go an find something to hide behind or under and he'll shout at us, things like, &quot;You're not coming to my birthday party.&quot;, &quot;I'm going to throw your laptop in the bin then!&quot;, or &quot;I don't care!&quot;. He'll pull the most angry faces and get himself really worked up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Trying to gently coax him out of the situation only agitates him more. Obviously, shouting at him to stop is not and has never been an option. Ignoring him does work, but it can take a while. When he's ready he'll snap out of it and come crying to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is worse at school or when out shopping or at a restaurant, because ignoring him is not really an option when the environment is not safe to leave him. For example, at school he may not want to come in from playtime, so when told to do so he will run away, hide, get angry and shout at the teacher. The teacher then really struggles to get him out of the situation and therefore it is worse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here's an example of something that happened this morning. It was cold outside, so he asked to wear his gloves, which I got for him. When we arrived at school he said he wanted to leave his gloves on, not put them in his bag. I said, no you can't leave your gloves on, you can put them in your bag and wear them at playtime. That was a trigger for him &quot;Well I'm not going to school then. I'm keeping them on! I hate everybody! I don't want any friends! No one's coming to my birthday party!&quot; - he promptly ran off and hid behind a wall, cue ten minutes of me following him round trying my best to keep my temper and coax him back. In the end I had to leave him and go to work hoping the teacher would be able to get him inside.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He's not tantrumming, he's not even crying. He's simply running away, shouting and angry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When left alone to stew, it will eventually lead to tears and after that he'll be more manageable until the next time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems to me it's all about power with him. Today he wasn't keen on going back to school after the holidays. He had also made a deal with himself that he would go if he could wear his gloves, so he had created the terms to which he would control the situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When challenged he exhibits this behavior. He does similar things when challenged by other children. For example if he is playing on his own and another child comes over to him, he will happily play as long as it's his game, on his term. The second the other child changes the rule, he gets angry and runs away and we're in this situation again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I need to know how to manage these little episodes to firstly manage them effectively so there is a positive outcome, and secondly work my way towards stopping them from happening in the first place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25002" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-15T13:13:03.700" LastActivityDate="2018-12-15T15:59:13.090" Title="Control and power struggles with 4-year-old - runs off and gets angry when challenged" Tags="|pre-schooler|discipline|anger|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27623" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-31T12:34:52.933" Score="2" ViewCount="354" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 12 months old &amp;amp; cries in his sleep every night, he doesn't fully wake up, just cries, it happens maybe every hour some times maybe even half an hour and he basically does bed aerobics...he has slept during the day before for a solid 3-4 however hours without any crying it's only at night that he is super restless...this has been ongoing since birth. We have tried every thing, late night feeds, bed time routine, sleeping in a cot, co-sleeping, keeping him up longer during the day...his sleeping behaviour has always stayed the same, Has anyone else had this problem and do you have any tips as I am exhausted, thanks in advance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25004" LastActivityDate="2016-12-05T13:18:09.000" Title="My 12 month old won't sleep at night" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27624" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24686" CreationDate="2016-10-31T14:36:29.077" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm the mother of an 11-year-old girl who was recently caught talking to boys/men on Snapchat which was terrifying to me because my daughter is a follower and was just doing what her friends were doing. I confronted her with my concerns explained to her what could happen to her. I didn't tell her &quot;because I said so&quot; or shame her I showed her news videos and victim's stories. I didn't sugar coat anything. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not sure if this was the best way but my daughter on her own deleted her accounts and has expressed to me that she understands now why I reacted the way I did and that. She had no idea that she could be possibly talking to bad people. There's no way to protect them 24/7 but I think giving her the knowledge of the dangers of the Internet has gave her a way to protect herself instead of just me demanding she not do it. I'm just a mom not a professional in anyway.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24964" LastEditorUserId="4348" LastEditDate="2018-04-06T00:45:11.070" LastActivityDate="2018-04-06T00:45:11.070" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27625" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27533" CreationDate="2016-10-31T15:17:41.323" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Kudos for having an established bedtime routine! I would add to that to be fully cognizant of his energy level leading up to and during his nap routine. I found with both my daughters they came down from a high energy state in steps not a continuous line. To help them I would first match their energy state then encourage them to come down a level by leading. So I started with high energy play if that is where they were, then to bath time, then reading a book, then pillow talk with some giggles, no giggles, then quiet time, and dreaming. This was our night time routine but the point is the same, match energy level then lead. Sometimes they might go back up a level and that's normal, go back up one level yourself and lead down again. It was often bumpy on the way down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find where each energy gradient is because it is different from child to child. You'll notice if you try to skip a level because you're in a rush it won't work and we can't force the process as it just creates frustration on both parent and child. I always tried to keep resistance to a minimum because resisting requires a high energy state. If I felt my daughter resist than it was an indication to try a different approach. Kids are notoriously adaptive by design, we need to be better. What works this week may not work next week and we have to accept that graciously and move on. Stay leading. Often keeping them focused on my face and singing soft lullabies worked the best.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Resistance is an interesting topic because a child naturally knows what to resist against versus what not to. For example, they will tug, pull and twist against your embrace but not give the rungs of a crib a second thought. They know what is a soft boundary versus a barrier. Having some of both is good and you decide what will be a soft boundary and what will be a barrier. Your barriers though must be permanent and static just like the crib that doesn't react back or get frustrated at what it does. Showing frustration shows your child the boundary is soft. Barriers may be where you place an arm or a leg, part of your body, a chair or wall or even a virtual one but should not be constricting either, it should be at a distance. His normal position should be in the warmest welcoming loving embrace. Furthermore, whether you are putting up a soft boundary or barrier you must always keep your apparent energy level less than theirs or they'll follow your lead back up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I knew the moment they were fast asleep when I heard the exhale of breath indicating they fully crossed into dreamland. If I was holding them I'd also feel the muscles go from primed to fully limp. Being cognizant of their energy state and mine was key. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24944" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T15:17:41.323" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27626" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27623" CreationDate="2016-10-31T16:55:59.063" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At around that age my wife stopped feeding our daughter at night, because neither of them were getting enough sleep. We tried to stick to no feeding between 10pm and 6am.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I stayed with her to try and soothe her and she was very sad for the first few nights and eventually she started settling more easily after her last feed around 10pm. She would wake in the middle of the night and I would put her in a sling and walk around the house in the dark to re-settle her. Had a few long nights but things did gradually improve! I offered water during the night when she woke up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck and hope you find a solution that works for you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24240" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T16:55:59.063" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27627" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-10-31T17:25:10.237" Score="44" ViewCount="23927" Body="&lt;p&gt;My husband and I constantly have communication problem against parenting. Since I posted &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/27300/need-suggestions-my-husband-and-i-have-different-opinions-on-parenting&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; last time about the discrepancies of parenting between us, he was so happy that someone said I should not interrupt what he was doing with kids, and always said that I interrupted him now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I surely agree and try not to intervene his parenting. But I also feel that either he or I have some misunderstanding about interruption/intervention. And as parents, we should learn to improve parenting instead of something like “so what, this is the way I do it, don’t interrupt me”. I’m not sure about other moms, but I really can’t bear hearing our boy crying. Many times as long as my husband was with the boy, I could hear the boy crying and I felt upset. Why would it be my fault that the boy crying with him (because I did in a nice way that the boy likes?)? Why can’t it be him not doing things properly or not really thinking what the boy thinks? Am I really interrupting him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, early this morning, the kids’ school will have Halloween party and I was kind of late to take the boy to school. The boy ate most of the breakfast but I was hoping him eat some fruit too. So I asked my husband giving him some fruit while I can prepare for something else. Very soon after I left to another room, I heard the boy crying. When I came out, the boy said he wanted mommy to sit next to him instead of daddy. So I said, ok, let me handle it then. My husband thinks I was interrupting him. Later on, my husband tried to put shoes on the boy, but the boy resisted, cried, and asked me to put shoes on him instead. So I said, ok, let me put on the shoes and we leave. My husband said I was interrupting him so I didn’t do it. The boy struggled and cried, grabbed the shoes and ran to me asking me to put shoes on him. So I did. Did I really interrupt my husband? I really don’t want to ruin the boy’s mood in the morning. He already doesn’t like the morning drop-off at school, I don’t want to add any more unhappy mood to make it worse. Actually today he did cry sadly when I left the school and I felt my heart was torn apart. Did I do anything wrong? Is it my problem that the boy favours me over his daddy for most of things, brush his teeth, put his shoes on, play with him, put him to sleep, feed him (he can eat by himself but wants to be fed. I have to admit I didn’t do right about his eating habit at the beginning and should really change), take him to washroom, and change his clothes/diapers etc.?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once when my husband put shoes on for the boy, the back of the shoes got bended in a little bit so the boy complained, but what he said was “it’s fine” and didn’t fix it, so I did. I can’t understand why it’s fine – we adult would feel uncomfortable when the back of the shoes got bended in, while would it be fine for a kid? My husband said that because he himself was spoiled by his mom he doesn’t want the same thing happens to our boy, but this doesn’t mean we can expect the kids to do something that we ourselves don’t like to do or don’t do! We parents should grow up, change ourselves, and play different roles when the life changes too!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I’m really frustrated. Sometimes I even think it would be much simpler taking care of kids by myself alone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24589" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.617" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T15:22:38.967" Title="Am I interrupting my husband's parenting?" Tags="|parents|conflict|" AnswerCount="10" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27628" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-10-31T18:16:27.950" Score="57" Body="&lt;p&gt;If by interrupting, you mean &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/differences-in-parenting-how-your-child-may-be-using-it-against-you/&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;undermining&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; your husband's parenting, yes, you are doing that. It doesn't mean that your husband is always right or that your approach is wrong; it only means that you disagree on how to handle things and are not making an effort to present a united front to your child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;...we should learn to improve parenting instead of something like “so what, this is the way I do it, don’t interrupt me”.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Absolutely. Your husband should not insist that his way is best simply because you disagree (or &quot;interrupt&quot;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who is the &quot;more correct&quot; parent in their approach to a given situation varies, but presenting yourselves as not-united sets up all sorts of opportunities for your child to exploit this (and at 3, a child most certainly can exploit the situation.) And as you have experienced, disagreeing with your partner in front of the child causes problems with the parent as well. So, no one really wins in this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Parenting is difficult under the best circumstances; it becomes incredibly difficult when the parents aren't in agreement in their approaches.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have not referred to your previous question, so I might be repeating advice you've already been given, so my apologies in advance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One thing you and your husband might try is to read Parenting books  together. You can discuss the principles presented and try to understand the emotions and experiences each of you have that results in your differing approaches. In doing so, and also discussing &lt;em&gt;what you both believe is best for your son&lt;/em&gt;, you might be able to anticipate problem scenarios and respond (in agreement) accordingly. This takes a lot of time and effort, but is well worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are already to the point of wondering if you should go it alone, then please consider marital counseling. Not only can you discuss your parenting difficulties but your interpersonal ones as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T18:16:27.950" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27629" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27617" CreationDate="2016-10-31T18:54:28.597" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it were me, I'd try offering something she would hurry to get her bedtime chores done to receive.  Do you read a book to her at night?  Or something else fun?  Once you establish something she is willing to put effort into receiving, you make it clear that the treat comes only if there is enough time before scheduled bedtime.  If possible it should be something she doesn't get at any other time.  And absolutely positively stick to it.  Do not let her wheedle you into giving her the treat if she gets to bed too late.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T18:54:28.597" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27631" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27622" CreationDate="2016-10-31T19:47:12.987" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow, my son (almost 4) does the EXACT same thing, including the verbal outbursts (almost word for word!). It is tough. One thing that really works for me is to give him the illusion of control, usually by making things appear to be a race/game. If he doesn't want to go upstairs to take a bath I'll say that &quot;I'm racing you up the stairs and you are about to lose!&quot; By the time he gets up the stairs he is usually in &quot;bath mode&quot; and doesn't fight it. Or &quot;better pick up your toys, I'm picking them up faster than you!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As for the verbal outbursts, I put soap in his mouth ONCE after he said things like wanting to hit me and make me cry. Now just the mention of it stops him from continuing with verbal threats. Not sure how you view this physical form of punishment but it worked fairly well with my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24022" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T19:47:12.987" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27632" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-10-31T19:58:26.003" Score="148" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was the oldest of six kids.  My youngest brother was born when I was 18.  By the time I escaped to college, I knew all about babies.  I could change a diaper in fifteen seconds flat (well, okay, the really nasty ones took a bit longer :).  I knew how to play the &quot;here comes the airplane&quot; game to get a stubborn child to eat his carrots.  I could bathe a baby, take a baby's temperature, oil his scalp, assemble a crib or high chair, heat the bottle and test for body temperature on my inner wrist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it wasn't until I actually became a mother that I understood the most difficult part of being a mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When my daughter was two she tested positive for tuberculosis.  The hospital did a chest xray on her.  They clamped her between two pieces of plastic so that she couldn't move, so they could take a picture of her lungs.  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, standing there as she cried, terrified, clamped in that thing, calling out for me, &quot;ma-ma...ma-ma...&quot; and not doing anything but telling her over and over &quot;I'm so sorry little girl, we're almost done, I'm so sorry little girl...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Before I became a mother I had no idea how unbearable the pain is when we see our babies crying.  Or how hard it is to be strong for them when we need to be.  But we need to be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to understand that your son is going to pick up on the conflict between you and your husband.  I'm sure he knows that it upsets you when he cries, and because of that he is going to cry whenever he is not given what he wants.  For the sake of your entire family, do not let this become an ingrained habit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though it may seem to you like his tears are a sign of great pain inside him, please understand that children are not like adults.  They learn as infants that crying is the tool you use to get what you need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The trick is for you, as the parent, to be able to distinguish real needs from simple desires, and to recognize when his &lt;em&gt;needs&lt;/em&gt; are in conflict with his &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is playing you and your husband off against each other, and I'm sorry, this is not what you want to hear, but you are enabling him to do it.  Yes, it is your fault that your son prefers you over his father.  You are the one who gives him what he wants, whether he should have it or not.  You are the one who cannot be firm with him.  &quot;Ruining his mood&quot; should not even be a consideration.  Understand where the responsibility is...any person, even a child, is responsible for their mood.  (In the absence of any real danger or abuse) if they feel unhappy, they have made themselves unhappy.  In effect, they are choosing to be unhappy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is absolutely no way you can avoid &quot;making&quot; a child unhappy periodically.  Children want what they shouldn't have, and don't want what they should have. When they don't get exactly what they want, they are unhappy.  This is normal and expected.  It is not something you should feel guilty or responsible for.  If you do what is best for him and he cries, it is all right to offer some sympathy, but not to allow him to see that it gives him power over you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You must choose their welfare over your own feelings.  In this case, it is your feelings which need to be your focus.  The more you allow him to manipulate your feelings, the worse it will get.  You husband can be your ally in this...it's okay to use him as a shield sometimes (like when you asked him to feed your son fruit so you didn't have to) but do not ask for his help and then undermine him when your son resists by crying.  Bluntly put; he is trying to use you as a tool to avoid obeying his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Please note that I am not advocating ignoring crying children if they are actually in danger or distress; this is clearly not the case here)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But don't overuse this technique, you need to make it clear to your son that no amount of crying or &quot;sadness&quot; will divert you from doing what is best for him.  Otherwise he will completely dominate you whenever you do not have your husband's support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You are the mommy.  He is a child.  You know what he should do, what is best for him, what is safest.  You know what he needs to learn in order to become a responsible, mature adult.  Of course he will resist you, with whatever tools he realizes he has.  That is why children need parents.  Because they do not yet know what you know...how to make good decisions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Definitely do as anongoodnurse has suggested and read parenting books together with your husband.  Discuss techniques to use the advice that you gain from the books.  And counseling would be very beneficial if you can afford it.  You need to make your husband your partner and ally, not your adversary.  Your entire family will benefit or suffer depending on how you handle this situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One additional observation; sometimes it might seem simpler to contemplate raising your son without his father's &quot;interference&quot;, but just imagine what it would be like living with a child who grows up knowing that he can have anything he wants just by using his own emotional state as a tool.  Without your husband as a balancing factor, it can only get worse.  Both of you have strengths to bring to your partnership, and both have (often corresponding) weaknesses.  Understanding and respecting your partner's strengths, and accepting help in your weaknesses, is what a good counselor can help you both do.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastEditorUserId="14970" LastEditDate="2016-10-31T20:50:14.440" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T20:50:14.440" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27633" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-10-31T20:22:45.903" Score="24" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the other excellent answers about your son playing you off each other, I wanted to add one thing.  If you're like a lot of families, one parent spends a lot more time taking care of the child than the other.  I'm assuming that's you.  Because of that time discrepancy, your husband is just plain not going to be as good at doing care giving things as you are, but it's clear he is trying, and he needs some space to make mistakes, just like you have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would you feel if some supermom with way more experience than you swooped in and took over every time your son showed the least bit of discomfort?  That's how your husband is feeling right now.  Every time you think about correcting his parenting, think about the last time a &quot;supermom&quot; corrected yours.  Yes, there's no harm in babying your baby, but there's no harm in letting things slide for the sake of someone's pride either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="644" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T20:22:45.903" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27634" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27519" CreationDate="2016-10-31T23:03:35.077" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Do not let them know that they will get new toys or they will break the current ones on purpose.  My child's kindergarten teacher teaches empathy by associating feelings with a bucket of balls.  When you're sad, the bucket is losing balls. When you're happy, the bucket is full of balls.  If I were in your shoes, I would teach that concept first.  So when she is aware of her own emotional bucket, show her that everybody has a bucket.  Once she understands that, I would show her a doll that has empty buckets and that when she gives a toy to the doll, it would fill the bucket.  This would probably work better if there is another kid around.  But otherwise, once the toy is given away, you can take it and donate it yourself another time.  You can reward her with new toys but I would associate it with another reason.  After all, generosity should be its own reward.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25017" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T23:03:35.077" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27635" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-10-31T23:34:20.813" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think you guys should find a happy medium.  You sound so much like my wife and I where she is the comforting type and I take the hard line on life.  I go by the philosophy that parents should teach kids the skills to survive on their own.  But there are limits to things a child can do own their own at their age too.  If your child is experiencing discomfort with his shoes and can't resolve it on his own, you should step in to help when he asks.  But other things like eating, he should do it without help.  Decide with your husband on issues you disagree on before hand with your husband and set a clear expectation.  Then bring these expectations to the child on a united front so he's not confused or given the opportunity to exploit it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25017" LastActivityDate="2016-10-31T23:34:20.813" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27636" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-11-01T01:14:31.420" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can't directly change anyone but yourself.  In these situations, ask yourself what you could do differently that would have made things better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In your primary example, it sounds like what you could have done differently was not to be late to take the kid to school.  Your being late - then insisting on the fruit - resulted in a rushed morning, your husband putting shoes on the kid, the kid crying, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, when you are late, you can't insist on your normal routine.  If your husband is taking care of the morning routine, you have to let him decide whether to skip the fruit, force the kid into shoes against his will, etc.  Don't make suggestions and don't interfere.  When the kid comes running to you, you can tell him, &quot;sorry, but we're running late, so daddy has to put on your shoes&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And when you have to listen to the crying, make sure you say to yourself, &quot;I have to listen to the crying because I was late.  I won't be late next time.&quot;  Don't blame your husband for helping you out.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, there is something you may be able to do about the shoes, but only if you are patient.  Let your husband do it his way.  Let the kid cry.  Wait until your husband remarks how hard it is to get the kid into his shoes.  Then sympathize, saying, &quot;yes, he's very difficult with the shoes - I have trouble too&quot;.  Then, and only then, you can say &quot;I have found that it's a little easier if I make sure the shoes aren't bent in at the back.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T01:14:31.420" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27637" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27613" CreationDate="2016-11-01T01:17:21.023" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;My partner and I were living in Denmark when our first child was born.  The Danish child care system is indeed excellent but we chose not to use it because it was all or nothing.  We did not want to put our baby in full-time child care.  Of course that is a personal decision and maybe it will feel right to you to do things that way.  If your wife is not working or studying, you would have to check and make sure that the child care system would be open to you -- I don't remember what the rules are.  (We lived in France when this child was slightly older, and there, the subsidized child care system was more flexible, and we chose to use it on a part-time basis, which was allowed despite one parent not being employed.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively one can always hire a private baby sitter and pay by the hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My personal philosophy about child care is that the child often has an easier time getting used to it if you start with a few hours a week as early as possible.  With child #2 we started with three very short visits per week at age one month.  We just wanted him to get the hang of going somewhere else, one parent kissing him good-bye, and another parent picking him up again an hour later.  We gradually increased this, to three hours per day, three times per week, and that worked well for us.  Of course, if both parents are working, one could in principle continue to increase the hours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not the only model, but that's the one that worked well for us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T01:17:21.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27638" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27620" CreationDate="2016-11-01T01:30:50.500" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's hard to tell why your baby is waking more often, but I can offer something that will probably fix it:  if you don't drink or smoke and don't use a waterbed, cosleep.  Based on personal experience with three kids, your child will almost certainly sleep better in the same bed as you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, there are those who are alarmist about the risks of cosleeping.  However, if you really dig for the statistics, they suggest that the risk of overlay in cosleeping is lower than the risk of crib death when you don't cosleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For more on how to cosleep safely and happily, you can refer to this article from Dr. Sears:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-co-sleeping-a-sids-danger&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-co-sleeping-a-sids-danger&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T01:30:50.500" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27639" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27617" CreationDate="2016-11-01T01:45:38.270" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How about doing pajamas before reading?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(At some point you may want to phase out the bedtime milk.  I'm not sure when or how to do that because our children never had milk in bottles, just breastmilk.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter craves a giggly chase-me-chase-me type game, you could incorporate some variants into playtime (with some clear demarcation between playtime and bedtime, such as bundling up to go outside to look at the moon and stars, dinner, bath, etc.)  Some variants can involve stuffed animals acting things out.  I bet there's a lot of deep psychological stuff going on in those games!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with you that bedtime isn't the right time to play them, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a couple of games that worked well for us:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Hide and seek&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Moon Launch (lie transverse on a low bed, hug the child, roll back and forth to get some momentum, and then do one and a half rotations and gently fall on the rug -- off the edge of the bed.  Thrilling!)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Can't find Johnny (Child hides in bed under covers, parent looks loudly throughout the house -- &quot;Where can Johnny be?  I can't find Johnny anywhere!&quot; and then sits down on the bed in discouragement, lamenting theatrically not being able to find Johnny; actually parent has gently sat on top of child -- without putting full weight on; child starts to giggle, parent ignores and continues laments; parent acts confused about the lumpy bed; eventually child pops up to huge surprise on the part of parent)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T01:45:38.270" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27640" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27519" CreationDate="2016-11-01T01:58:25.010" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You seem to be trying to deal with two separate problems.  One is that you are accumulating unused toys.  The other is that you'd like to teach your child empathy.  These are not the same problem and you shouldn't really expect to solve them the same way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With respect to accumulated toys, it's difficult at that age to know which unused toys are no longer interesting and have been forgotten, and which are beloved toys that just haven't been played with in forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, the best way to deal with lack of space to store toys is present the real issue to the child.  &quot;We're running out of space to store toys; are there any that you don't want any more and we can throw away?  We need to make space so you can have new toys.&quot;  Rarely will a child volunteer a toy for discard and then turn out to really want that toy later.  I would stay away from suggesting which toys to discard, though; the child may agree without really paying attention to what you are saying, then get upset later when the toy is missing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With respect to empathy, forcing the child to part with a toy they still want in order to donate it will likely result in negative associations with donation.  The bargain you propose, especially if it comes across as &quot;no new toys until you give some of your favorite toys to someone else,&quot; might have the same effect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is probably better to point out or describe situations where others are worse off when such situations naturally come up.  Express sympathy to provide a role model.  Then, if and when your child also expresses sympathy, you can ask if they have any unwanted toys they want to donate.  If you want to provide an incentive, you can make the deal in a positive manner rather than a negative one:  &quot;if you want to donate one of your unused toys, I'll buy that new toy you've been wanting, to take its place.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That way your child may learn to enjoy being generous, rather than seeing generosity as an unwelcome obligation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T01:58:25.010" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27641" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27620" CreationDate="2016-11-01T02:09:33.760" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to Dr Spock (&lt;em&gt;Baby and Child Care&lt;/em&gt;), around 12 months of age, most babies are ready to drop a nap and go to just one nap a day.  He has a whole section in his book on how to accomplish the transition.  The basic idea is to move lunch earlier.  You really do need to get some lunch into the child, otherwise he's likely to wake up too early from the afternoon nap because he's hungry.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's worth reading the whole section, because he covers all the nitty gritty, and it's written in a very supportive way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I think this may help you is that you said that going to sleep at naptime is effortless.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Usually, when baby is really tired, falling asleep is easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally am not a fan of cry-it-out.  If your child is crying so much he ends up vomiting, maybe it's time to put that method on the shelf.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's possible your child is feeling fearful or anxious.  If there is a feeling of abandonment behind these crying jags, it could be helpful to show support through a consistent policy of &quot;I will not walk away from you when you are crying&quot;.  That's just my hunch, though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Has baby reached some big milestone recently, or is he on the cusp?  Such as walking?  That can be intense and can trigger complex stuff in a baby's psyche.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is baby getting plenty of exercise and fresh air?  Those can be really helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T02:09:33.760" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27643" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-11-01T12:26:21.553" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have a different approach to the parenting than your husband. Your kid's response is different too. The question is why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discussing the parenting in front of the child is bad. Do not underestimate kids, they can find weak points and they can and will exploit them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When he is in school, sit down with your husband and discuss calmly what is going on. Why is the boy crying when your husband is in charge and why he is not when you are in charge? Is his approach better than yours? Favoured does &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; mean good. For example, if you tie the laces for him and your husband wants him to tie them, what is better?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find all differences between your and your husband's approach and agree on one. In some cases you have to leave your approach, in some cases he must leave his. And follow those rules as firm as possible. If anyone of you break the rule, try to keep a poker face and discuss it later in private.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23607" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2016-11-07T13:03:37.390" LastActivityDate="2016-11-07T13:03:37.390" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27645" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8164" CreationDate="2016-11-01T16:18:30.550" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;How my parents deal with this type of problem is, never tell them the real price of the purchase. Because of the age gap between my parents and their parents, their values on spending are very different, and my parents know that. They are not inclined to change their parents' values, nor do they expect them to accept their values fully. So when their parents ask about the price of a newly purchased item, my parents always give a lower value, saying that the item was on a huge discount, to avoid any negative comments/criticism on the purchase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So unless your MIL participated in a purchase you and your wife made, you can try to use this method. I don't really consider it lying. Your financial situation is your family's business, not your in-laws, unless you used their money to make the purchase. So your in-laws don't have to know the exact price of every purchase you make. And you don't have the obligation to tell them or show them the receipt. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Moreover, when your in-laws ask about the price, they probably didn't mean to ask to criticize you. It might just be a casual question raised by seeing a new item in the house. What I want to say is, they probably don't really care how much you spent on that TV. It is just a casual ask, and as someone has pointed out, it can also be their reflex to criticize.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25036" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T16:18:30.550" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27646" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27649" CreationDate="2016-11-01T18:00:59.193" Score="2" ViewCount="236" Body="&lt;p&gt;It was recently suggested by our son's doctor that he be evaluated for signs of Autism due to certain tendencies he has such as an underdeveloped speech ability.  We have the appointment scheduled with the specialist however it isn't for another month. Until then I was wondering if anyone had any exercises or activities my wife and I could do with him to work on this in the meantime?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25041" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-02T04:24:51.550" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T10:49:00.180" Title="Recommendations on helping a 4 year old with speech difficulty" Tags="|speech|autism|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27647" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27519" CreationDate="2016-11-01T21:06:54.583" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;We have the same situation in our house.  It's the 80/20 rule.  My daughter has a ton of toys and spends 80 percent of the time playing with about 20 percent of her toys.  Meanwhile, many toys just collect dust.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have spent a great deal of time talking to her about how fortunate she is.  We discuss the many ways she is lucky.  From being blessed with a loving mother and father, to having a nice warm home with running water.  We explain to her that she has clean clothes and food any time she wants.  I have even shown her the terrifying problems that plague war torn countries.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a result, she is well aware that there are kids like her all over the world that would really like some of what we call &quot;small things&quot; to help keep them happy.  And she knows that a small thing to her can be a great big thing to somebody else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we identify something that she doesn't play with much I just ask her about it.  &quot;When was the last time you played with this?&quot; or &quot;Did you even know this was in your room?&quot; or &quot;Would it be a big deal or a small deal if we were to get rid of this?&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once she realizes that she never uses it, she often asks if we can give it to somebody that doesn't have much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think people are afraid to tell their children about the sadness and suffering that they will inevitably see around them.  But I have found that exposing them to it early teaches them to live in the world as it is, not as I wish it was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21444" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T21:06:54.583" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27648" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27646" CreationDate="2016-11-01T21:12:20.427" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;At four and a half, our son was diagnosed with a rather severe form of autism and as &quot;severely impaired&quot; for speech comprehension and production.  Today, he is applying to MIT with a decent chance of getting in, and being pursued by not only MIT, but most of the top 25 universities in the US.  So my first word to you is - have hope.  Do not let the word &quot;Autism&quot; scare you.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Second, lateness in speech is not the foremost indicator of Autism.  A simple indicator that I sometimes share is what he looks at when you are talking to him and he looks at you.  Does he look at your eyes or your mouth.  Autistic children tend to look at the mouth, while non-autistic children tend to look at the eyes.  Mind you, this is a tendency only, but more indicative of Autism than delayed speech.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Third, I encourage you to become an expert on your son's situation.  Start maybe with the book &quot;Late-Talking Children: A Symptom or a Stage&quot;, but read and read all you can about speech pathology and therapy.  No doctor, psychologist, or therapist will ever put the love and care and time that you can put into helping your child.  Traditional wisdom will tell you to let the professionals do the therapy so that you can concentrate on being the mom or dad.  I say &quot;bullhonkey!&quot;  If your child's biggest need is for help in learning to talk, your love for him requires that you be the first and foremost in taking care of that need.  Make use of the professionals as much as you are able, but do not relinquish your role as teacher of language to your son.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Fourth, and to really answer your question, I would get some early readers, the ones with lots of pictures of objects with just one word on the page.  Show him the object and say &quot;apple&quot;, and if you can get him to say &quot;apple&quot; after a few times reading the book to him, awesome.  Also, go on naming trips, make it a game.  You pick him up and take him around.  If he loves for you to run when he is in your arms, run from object to object to person, saying the names of things.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;My wife designed a speech therapy regimen that included six sessions a day, each one a half hour.  She did three of them, I did one, our oldest daughter did another, and a neighbor kid did the last.  My wife prepared scripts for us to follow in talking with him.&lt;p&gt;&#xA;Finally, let me ask you, how is he on physical contact with people.  My son hated to be touched.  With my oldest, I would pick her up and wrap her in my arms real tight.  I am a big guy (tall, well built) and she was pretty well wrapped in a cocoon of arms, and I would tell her that she was mine.  She would say &quot;no, YOU are mine&quot;, and we'd go back and forth and break up into giggles.  The first time I went to hug my son, he pushed away and made it clear he did not want to be wrapped in my arms.  Hypersensitivity to touch also tends to go with Autism.  Does your son display this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user16557" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T21:12:20.427" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27649" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27646" CreationDate="2016-11-01T21:12:55.767" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend that you do what you usually do with your son until then, not much more and certainly no less.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the point of special exercises and activities would be to help him to advance in those areas in which he shows a deficiency, you might be skewing the results, which would not actually be in your son's ultimate favor. Let the specialist see the son you have, the one your pediatrician is concerned about. There will be ample time after the diagnosis is made (whatever the diagnosis is) to do special exercises and activities with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you want to do something that &lt;em&gt;might&lt;/em&gt; be helpful to the evaluator, you can put together a montage of videos of the approximate age of your son when he achieved certain milestones: when he first smiled, laughed, said his first word, how he interacted with others, sat without help, walked, could pick up a cheerio, etc. etc. Since speech seems to be the primary concern, I would include plenty of examples of speech milestones (or age in the absence thereof).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You want as accurate a diagnosis as possible so that if he has a condition that would improve with intervention, he's more likely to get the treatment he needs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-01T21:18:07.217" LastActivityDate="2016-11-01T21:18:07.217" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27650" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24686" CreationDate="2016-11-02T02:04:04.260" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If by internet predators you mean violent rapists who use internet to find victims and lure them into real life meeting, it seems to be a non-problem made up by the sensationalist mass media.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Real sex abusers of children almost always rape or sexually abuse somebody they know, most commonly a relative.  Fathers, stepfathers, adoptive fathers, foster fathers, posses a very real and significant risk.  Uncles, big brothers, cousins rape little girls or boys often.  Male babysitters commonly abuse little boys or girls.  All the above is much, much more dangerous than the internet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-632111.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-632111.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Real internet predators just seek for adolescent girls who wants to have sex with them.  They don't conceal their desire to have sex, and seldom pretend to be teenagers.  What they do is called statutory rape.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, internet security is a real issue. There are people who convince girls to send their sexually explicit photos or videos, and either publish the photos, starting the internet bullying, or blackmail the girl.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14486" LastEditorUserId="14486" LastEditDate="2016-11-02T02:14:19.300" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T02:14:19.300" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27653" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-11-02T12:44:46.187" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;As far as parenting goes, mistakes happen, children will be awkward about things, and children will cry for trivial reasons.  It's what happens.  If you're given a chance, you learn from your mistakes, and you learn how to handle an awkward child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The moment you used the word &quot;fault&quot; though, you indicated how you're thinking about this.  Mistakes happen, children are awkward, and children cry.  It isn't either person's fault, it's just one of those things.  If you're looking for fault then you'll find it, usually with the other person.  If you think hearing your child cry is tearing your heart out though, consider how your husband feels when he hears his child cry &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;and then you tell him it's his fault for doing things wrong and you would rather he wasn't involved!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;  The end result is divorce, if you're lucky.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my own case, having been continually told that I was doing things wrong and even that I was endangering my son (which in hindsight was untrue), the result for me was clinical depression and serious preparations for suicide.  It seemed a perfectly logical solution - if I'm a threat to my son then I shouldn't exist.  I hadn't considered that the reason my ex-wife behaved like that was that she actually did not like or respect me, something she admitted later.  Luckily the pills worked, so I'm still here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That's not to say that you can't discuss stuff, and that you should give in to him if you think he's wrong about something important.  The time to talk about it is absolutely not at the time the child is crying and you're both stressed though.  Unless you can take the emotions out of it, you don't have a chance to discuss it rationally, and unless you can discuss it rationally then your relationship is unlikely to survive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as &quot;I want mommy/daddy to do it&quot; goes, he doesn't get to decide that.  He can ask, sure.  But if mommy/daddy says no then he doesn't get it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14637" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T12:44:46.187" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27654" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12471" CreationDate="2016-11-02T13:28:46.540" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Not a parent, not a psychologist or anything. But i've shown signs of asperger since i was a young child as well. In the textual record of my school behaviour even in the first grades, i can still see myself today. I changed, but in the core i am still the same.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would monitor your childs behaviour and not rush to premature conclusions. She may simply be introverted, which makes someone less socially interested by default. Considering that most people i know who are born in late autumn to early spring are introverts too (possibly due to low happyness hormones, due to lack of sun, during pregnancy at a significant phase for brain development) and are just more of thought than people persons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Mild aspergers can be good - As you probably already read a significant amount of them turn out above average intelligent. So you should not be all that worried. In case mild aspergers/introverted is the case - Don't force your kid to be overly social. Life has to offer many more interesting things to learn about than listening to all that pesky gossip.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My answer might not help you - But it's an attempt to show you, that even if your assumption is true, there is no actual reason to be worried :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25065" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T13:28:46.540" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27655" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27690" CreationDate="2016-11-02T14:54:41.360" Score="3" ViewCount="4354" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son has not been willing to potty train at all. He won't even sit on the potty - no matter what incentive we try to give him (candy, tv, etc). We have even taken to telling him that he will receive 1 m&amp;amp;m or a show if he just tries to sit on the potty. We even got a sticker chart (with a star wars movie as a reward - something he really wants) and yet he still refuses to even sit on the potty (or toilet for that matter) or try underwear. I'm not sure what to do anymore. He knows when he has to poop; he goes to a corner of his room and then hides afterwards. Any suggestions?? I feel like he will never potty train. :(&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25069" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T14:06:23.263" Title="Potty Training a stubborn 3 and a half year old" Tags="|behavior|potty-training|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27656" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2016-11-02T16:01:10.487" Score="0" Body="" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-11-02T16:01:10.487" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T16:01:10.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27657" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2016-11-02T16:01:10.487" Score="0" Body="For questions about the congenital oral condition ankyloglossia, also known as tongue-tie, which causes an unusually short or thick lingual frenulum and may impair tongue mobility" OwnerDisplayName="user11394" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-11-02T16:01:10.487" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T16:01:10.487" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27658" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27617" CreationDate="2016-11-02T16:51:08.707" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sounds like she wants to play and has lots of energy left. How about you play along and get all that unused energy out. Sooner than later she'll want to go to bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My cousin does this with his daughter and it works like a charm. What they usually do is jump around on the bed until she is really tired.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25071" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T16:51:08.707" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27660" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27655" CreationDate="2016-11-02T18:17:04.900" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;At age 3 1/2 you may want to talk this over with the child's doctor.  On the other hand, another few months of maturing might do the trick.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are various signs of readiness you can watch for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On of my children was all trained when it came to peeing, but was not comfortable pooping on the potty or in the toilet (even with the special smaller seat on top).  When he felt a poop coming, he would go in a corner and be rather quiet.  Then he wanted me to change his pull-up.  I knew he was ready, but he was used to using the pull-up and was resistant to change.  This was right around when he was turning 3, early summer -- warm weather.  Here's what we did:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him he was welcome to use the pull-up, but then it would be his job to pull it down and put on a clean one.  I said I would help him with the clean-up but he'd have to take that first step.  He did not like that idea.  So I suggested that he pull down his pull-up BEFORE pooping, and then just go out to the yard and squat down.  Our yard was quite private and that worked fine.  He was very proud of himself.  I got him dressed again and then we excitedly went to get a garden trowel, and he scooped up the poop and carried it to the compost pile.  Our inspiration in all of this was that occasionally our cat would poop in our little vegetable plot, and when we found her poop there, we would carry it to the compost bin with the trowel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We did the same procedure the next day.  But on the third day, there was a light rain after lunch when the urge came.  I said he was welcome to do things the same as yesterday, and offered him a raincoat.  He decided to give the seat that goes on top of the toilet a try instead.  It went great and he was able to wear his Lion King underpants, which he had selected at the store, all day every day from then on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes you just have to be a bit creative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-02T18:17:04.900" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27661" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-02T20:05:00.013" Score="5" ViewCount="2767" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes my son leaves marbles around and my baby eats them. We already found 3 in her poo. Is this poison or is this ok?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25078" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-08T14:15:02.460" LastActivityDate="2019-01-08T14:15:02.460" Title="What risks are there to a baby finding and eating marbles?" Tags="|safety|mouthing|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27662" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12599" CreationDate="2016-11-03T02:29:07.290" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I believe that 12 is a good age for girls and 14 for boys, to babysit one potty trained child. 14 for girls and 16 for boys to babysit multiple children and 16 for girls and 17 for boys to babysit baby's. I believe this because girls usually mature faster than boys.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25082" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T02:29:07.290" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27663" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27661" CreationDate="2016-11-03T10:01:38.963" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;Marbles are not poisonous (anything that's made for kids to play with is generally required to be made of safe material) but marbles are a choking hazard, so I would strongly suggest you make sure your baby doesn't swallow any more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastEditorUserId="13196" LastEditDate="2016-11-07T06:37:42.150" LastActivityDate="2016-11-07T06:37:42.150" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27664" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27584" CreationDate="2016-11-03T10:13:15.587" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could you simply hand them an ipad or something alike to play with? Nothing quiets a child more quickly than a video or some interesting games. Or maybe a tv-dvd with some cartoons? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25087" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T10:13:15.587" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27665" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-03T10:39:29.827" Score="157" ViewCount="78708" Body="&lt;p&gt;For the last term and a half our 13-year-old daughter has been refusing to go to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This currently consists of not getting up, or not getting dressed, or ripping her school uniform so she has nothing to wear, hiding her shoes, refusing to leave the house, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Last term she often said that she felt unwell, sometimes a headache, sometimes feeling sick, or sometimes her arm hurting.  She had many investigations by the GP and the hospital; generally the diagnosis was that she is a healthy girl, but tense, and the GP has suggested an anxiety disorder.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This term, the only way we have been able to get her to go in has been to micro-manage her morning routine, checking every 5 or 10 minutes that she is awake, starting to get dressed, packed her bag, wearing shoes, and so on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even then she will still sometimes refuse to leave, just standing there motionless.  On various different occasions we have had to put her shoes on her, and this morning I had to physically drag her from the house to the bus stop, with her trying to grab onto the door, the railings, the gate, and then refusing to get on the bus until I dragged her on with me.  She was crying and screaming all the time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school is obviously unhappy with her lack of attendance, and we have been in to see our daughter's head of year and headteacher several times.  The school reassures us that whenever they check on her, she is playing happily with friends, or working well in lessons, and that there must be some problem at home.  However, during the two week half term (just ended) she was a lovely, happy girl, enjoying meeting up with her friends to play.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school is now talking about us being prosecuted for failing to send her to school.  (We are in the UK, where - as they keeps reminding us - parents can be sent to prison if their kids do not attend school.)  Her attendance this term is currently around 55% - typically we can get her to go in 2-3 days a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am in tatters over having to use force like this.  As I write this it is two hours since I got her on the bus, but I am still shaking and in tears.  Furthermore, using force like this could no doubt also get me sent to jail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are clearly some issues with school: for one, her allocated school locker is a touchy subject.  She complains that she doesn't have one, but gets evasive and gives inconsistent answers when we quiz her on this at different times.  It seems that the school gave each of them keys to their own locker, but now another girl is using our daughter's for her PE (Physical Education) kit (so that she has two lockers, one for her books and one for her PE kit).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school claims not to have records of which locker was assigned to which girl, and has asked for us to get further details of this; when we suggest that we talk to the school about her locker she demands that we not do so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(This reminds me very much of when I was bullied at secondary school: the boys who were taking the books out of my school bag told me that if I went to my parents or the teachers they would make my life even worse.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There also seem to be some issues to do with her homework: while she is generally a bright girl, she sometimes gets stuck on homework.  She absolutely hates to be noticed or make a fuss, so won't ask the teacher for clarification or help.  But she is also very eager to please, and hates to disappoint, so she hates to hand in work that isn't perfect.  Then she's stuck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Neither me nor my wife know how to help her with this stalemate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We are awaiting referrals for help with her mental health around this, but are completely out of ideas.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is also particularly hard (i.e. often impossible) to get her to go in on a day that there is PE.  Unlike our other daughters, this one seems embarrassed by the changes her body is undergoing; she is very much in the middle of her changes; she hunches her shoulders forward so the shape of her chest can't be seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Her school attendance is at the point of tearing our family apart.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't think the issue is just one of bullying: I think there are multiple issues all happening at once.  Obviously resolving any one of these issues is going to take time, but we need her to be going to school every day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have obviously considered moving her to another school, but the homework and body-image issues will follow with her, and it has been our experience (both with other daughters and those of our friends) that there will be bullying at any school.  So she would have to start again; at least at the current school she does have some friends.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(When we ask her if she'd like to change schools, sometimes she says yes, sometimes she says no.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have tried discussing the subject head-on with her, but again she gets evasive and becomes uncommunicative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Both my wife and I work full time.  It is likely that one of us will have to give up work to deal with this; that would involve selling our house (we live in the house that my wife's parents lived in before they died; it has been in her family for something like 30 years) and moving to a much cheaper area.  We have lived in this area for 25 years, so all our friends and support network is here.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our daughter has two older sisters: 16 and 18.  The oldest is away at university.  Neither of them had any problems with school attendance; they are both bemused by her behaviour, tell her she must go in, but she still won't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been unsuccessful in determining what specific issues there are, nor has she confided in her sisters or friends (that we've been able to find out).  We are only aware of the locker issue because of noticing her evasion and inconsistent answers to some very specific questions.  The other issues are really supposition.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If anyone has any ideas we are clutching at straws.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25088" LastEditorDisplayName="user24977" LastEditDate="2016-11-10T09:39:28.020" LastActivityDate="2017-07-29T11:52:01.090" Title="Teenage daughter refusing to go to school" Tags="|teen|school|" AnswerCount="23" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27666" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27661" CreationDate="2016-11-03T13:57:12.590" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;As long as they are ordinary glass marbles they are not poisonous, though as Erik mentions they are choking hazards so it's worth teaching your son not to leave them around - or perhaps supervising him more closely if he's not old enough to learn that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Avoid giving your son any small magnetic toys since those can connect in the gut and cause major problems.  Also be sure not to give him any button batteries and be very careful with them yourself as those can cause internal injury very quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T13:57:12.590" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27667" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-03T14:10:16.147" Score="21" Body="&lt;p&gt;Something bad is happening to her at school, something quite bad judging from the severity of her aversion.  It could be severe bullying, or it could be abuse, possibly sexual.  It likely has a physical aspect given it seems to center on PE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try to get her to talk about it to figure out what it is.  Offer to allow her to stay out of school for gym days for a couple of weeks, or to stay out of school entirely for a week.  If questioned, tell the school you are concerned about possible abuse, possibly by school staff, and you want it resolved before sending her back in.  Also call the hotline at the site someone mentioned in the comment - &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/report-abuse/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/report-abuse/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can't find out what the problem is, change schools.  She isn't objecting strongly, and it's likely the problem involves specific people, who won't be at the new school.  It's not a guaranteed fix, but it should at least help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-11-04T14:02:30.247" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T14:02:30.247" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27668" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-03T15:04:39.380" Score="90" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, please let me express my sympathy with what seems to be an extremely difficult situation. What follows does not mean I am not sympathetic with your struggles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to have a few ideas of why your daughter is behaving the way she is (as she is not totally forthcoming), but this has been going on for a term and a half. &lt;em&gt;Your daughter's behavior is decidedly not normal&lt;/em&gt;. If you can't get to the bottom of this, she is in immediate need of someone who can. A good therapist is a start, and it's difficult to understand why more hasn't been done on this front (caveat: I do not live in the UK.) She should already have started therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Though you can't rely 100% on the reports of her teachers, you should be talking with all of them regularly to compare and contrast her behaviors, looking for a pattern. This does sound like possible bullying or even abuse. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she is suffering from body image issues, a safe place to change into and out of her PE uniform should be provided by the school, or you can request that she be absented from PE altogether, and provide the school authorities with an acceptable outside alternative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The locker bit - if true - is bullying. Why are you letting the school staff get off the hook by saying they don't have records of which locker was assigned to which girl? You and they are the adults here, not your daughter. Of course she won't want more negative attention if this is really happening. Have someone open her locker and see what's inside!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there are issues with her performance in certain subjects, hire her a tutor. Get her tested for dyslexia. Sit and do her homework with her to figure out what she doesn't get. But do something.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;The school is now talking about us being prosecuted for failing to send her to school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This seems somewhat Dickensian. Will it really solve anything? How real is this threat? Is it merely a fine? If so, use that money to get her a good therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I'm getting at is that even without knowing the root of the problem, there are measures (admittedly possibly stop-gap) that you can be taking to address the problems you do know about until someone gets to the root of this issue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the heart of the issue, though, is &lt;em&gt;what's best for your daughter&lt;/em&gt;. Get her to a good adolescent therapist who can get her to open up and get to the bottom of this (oftentimes it's easier to admit of abuse to a stranger than to family), and who networks with a psychiatrist (again, I'm unfamiliar with the health care system in the UK) so that if this turns out to be an anxiety disorder of some kind - OCD/social phobia/other - she can get the care (and possibly the medication*) she needs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;*&lt;sub&gt;The mention of medication will cause some to protest vigorously, no doubt. However, I have seen medication work seeming miracles. I'm not talking about quackery here; I'm talking about a proper diagnosis and treatment. Whether that be CBT, meds, or some other modality.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T15:04:39.380" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27669" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="19472" CreationDate="2016-11-03T15:18:53.123" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Firstly, congratulations on the new baby! \o/&#xA;Before I begin, let me just say that if you have concerns about the little one from a health perspective, it is always a good idea to raise this with your health visitor (if you have one) or the doctor if it is concerning you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With that out of the way, our youngest son had something similar when he was a little older (at around 6 months or so). &#xA;His was a combination of two things:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Bouts of constipation and / or indegestion&#xA;Our littl'un would feed in the night and then would become agitated around an hour or so later due the position lying down where he had developed trapped air in his tummy. A good back rub and burp helped with that.&#xA;He did also suffer from constipation as well for a time which caused a lot of wriggling about and discomfort.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Night-terrors&#xA;&quot;Night terrors&quot; are very common and the term can sound worse than it actually is, since effectively what is happening here is that the child's mind is processing their experiences in the subcconscious. Often this can result in &quot;whining&quot; or &quot;light crying&quot; - our oldest son used to have these on a regular basis.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Either way, if it is something that continues and is concerning you, you should certainly take baby along to see the doctor, if only for your own peace of mind! :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25094" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T15:18:53.123" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27670" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-03T15:20:38.367" Score="2" ViewCount="182" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 4 year old son gets a stuffy nose a couple times a day. If he gets upset and cries it will get stuffy, and oftentimes as he goes to bed it will get stuffy from the transition to laying down. If he calms down/lies still for 5 minutes it will clear up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, he's gotten into a habit of, when he gets even a tiny bit stuffy, he'll start scrunching his face and sniffing hard, which rapidly makes it so much worse. He'll then get upset about it, and it's a self-reinforcing cycle. Soon he can focus on nothing except that he's stuffy and can't breathe, and throws a fit about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We've tried explaining that just breathing calmly and waiting is the best thing to do, but he gets mad about it. Any suggestions for just dealing with it while waiting for it to clear?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18898" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T04:08:33.543" Title="Helping 4 year old deal with stuffy nose" Tags="|habits|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27671" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27655" CreationDate="2016-11-03T15:36:52.943" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I completely &quot;feel your pain&quot; on the potty issue, so I wanted to provide details of our own experience for some context for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our oldest boy Elijah is currently 4 (nearly 5) and he has still not mastered the art of the potty yet. He certainly has the ability to go and knows when he needs to - for example, he will go when he wants to get a reward, etc. However, he will flatly refuse to go and sit on the potty if you ask him to do so, to the point of full tantrums. &#xA;At other times, he will know he needs the potty, but if it means stopping what he is doing, he will much rather just go and then try to hide from us afterwards.&#xA;We tried everything from &quot;star-reward-charts&quot; to &quot;bribing with sweets&quot;, but nothing seemed to help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a long time we worried what the cause might be until he started at school and it was picked up upon by his teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We then came across something called PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance):&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/pda.aspx&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/pda.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&#xA; and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder):&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/definition/con-20024559&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/definition/con-20024559&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be alarmed at the names, however. These are relatively newly discovered behaviours and are starting to be noticed much more but they are things that can be observed in children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is worth mentioning these to the child's teacher (if at pre-school), though they will likely not be acted upon until the child starts reception year. Essentially, the PDA part is the most important to understand. Sometimes the child can find themselves incapable of following the simplest of requests even if that request is something tiny (we have had problems even with things like picking up a pen from the floor!).&#xA;The trick is to identify when your child has become stuck in a refusal to comply and help him/her find a way around that refusal.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The reason I mention all this is because potty training was the first area we really started to see traits of these things occurring.&#xA;Elijah still struggles with the potty, especially in school where it is less familiar - but now that people are aware of his needs, it is definitely getting easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's definitely worth simply asking someone for advice. :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25094" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T15:36:52.943" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27672" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27646" CreationDate="2016-11-03T15:59:54.463" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would recommend that you look for a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) while you're waiting for the Neurologist appointment and have them do a formal assessment of your son's speech and communication skills. The Neurologist will help you to ascertain what is going on with your child, but they will not be the one that works with your child on a weekly routine to bring their language and communication skills up to an age-appropriate level. That's the job of an SLP. You should still meet with the Neurologist; that is still vital to understanding the underlying cause.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A Speech-Language Pathologist, on the other hand, will perform an assessment that gauges your child's speech and communication skills and determines whether they are at a level that is appropriate for their age or whether they need work in some areas to bring those skills up to that level. With the assessment, they will know what areas to work on and design a coarse of therapy that build the right skills in the right sequence in order to maximize your time and efforts with your son. A good SLP will provide homework and include you in the therapy sessions so you can take those therapy activities home and accelerate your son's progress.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you're worried about cost, most insurance companies will cover an assessment even though they may not cover speech therapy. If you're on an HMO plan, ask your pediatrician for a referral and check with your insurance. Some SLPs will provide a free assessment if your insurance doesn't cover the assessment. If you live in CA then the Lanterman Act and the local regional center will subsidize therapy for your child if they qualify and your insurance denies coverage for therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So again, continue your plan to meet with the Neurologist but start looking for and consulting with a Speech-Language Pathologist. Regardless of the label your son may or may not get, an SLP will be the one to work with your child on their speech and language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And finally, my wife is an SLP and like Agapwlesu said, there is very high hope that your child will work past any deficiencies (if they have any) and go on to be a brilliant and successful individual. I see it every day with my wife's patients.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope for the best for you and your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6678" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T15:59:54.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27673" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27670" CreationDate="2016-11-03T16:01:51.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Is it cold-related?&#xA;If he is not allergic to Olbas Oil, then having some drops on his pyjamas (on the front, away from the skin) might help. We did this quite often for our 3 children when the have stuffy noses.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For non-medicinal help, I also find that distraction can be a good way to easy the stuffiness as by being distracted, the breathing becomes less forced and less pressure is placed on the nasal area, allowing better air flow.&#xA;Do you read him a story? Try something with funny voices or interesting pictures. Any distraction will help!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, a third option (which helps for both coughs and blocked sinuses) is to have an open-topped kettle boiling water in the room to create steam which alleviates the nasal areas when blocked. The open-top is vital as it allows for better steam expulsion and a longer boil time.&#xA;Obviously, you will need to make considerations for the dangers involved in having water boiling in the room. Please use every caution for this sort of thing and make sure that the kettle is out of reach and in a safe and stable place. And that the plug / wire is out of the way and also safe.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The sound of the boiling kettle is also quite calming for a child (it was for me at least, when I was a child) and will give him something to focus on (and be distracted by).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25094" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T16:01:51.337" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27675" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-03T16:50:07.377" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;Another possibility that occurred to me while reading this is that she may be having gender identity issues. My youngest child (now 17) recently transitioned from their birth gender (female) to non-gender binary and had their breasts removed over the summer. The change in their demeanor has been striking - they are &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;much&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; happier in school now. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have been to see several different therapists to help with this, including family therapy for all of us, therapy for just my wife and I, and private therapy for our child. This has taken place over the last 2 1/2 years or so.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7542" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T16:50:07.377" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27676" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27661" CreationDate="2016-11-03T16:59:24.390" Score="11" Body="&lt;p&gt;Glass marbles are not poisonous, but:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They are often painted, and the paints can have unwanted chemicals (such as lead).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;They can get lodged/stuck in digestive tract (less likely) or respiratory tract (more likely), that can lead to lot more complex problems.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Also, as mentioned, can be choking hazard.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24387" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2016-11-16T18:57:04.047" LastActivityDate="2016-11-16T18:57:04.047" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27677" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27584" CreationDate="2016-11-03T17:04:14.447" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;If the office expects a lot of children, some inexpensive things to keep children busy can be very helpful. Some suggestions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) A small table with papers and crayons.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Some interesting posters in the wall (think colorful, eye-catching)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) A small aquarium with few fishes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24387" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T17:04:14.447" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27678" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-03T17:06:55.223" Score="61" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's a very good chance your daughter is being bullied. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My experience with my then 13-year-old son was almost identical to what you describe. It took several months to find out what exactly was happening, and we discovered that the authorities - teacher, school principal, school psychologist - simply tried to deny that it was happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bullying amounts to a catastrophic attack on your daughter's self-esteem. It will take years of counselling to rebuild.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Based on my own experience, the school authorities will flat-out deny that it's happening because bullying in their school is a black mark on their credibility.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Authorities believe that they intervene in over 95 percent of all bullying cases; however, a landmark study by the Toronto Board of Education done about 20 years ago proved that authorities intervened in fewer than TWO percent of all cases of bullying. In other words, far more bullying takes place than school authorities cotton on to.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Recent studies conclude that kids who do the bullying are just as likely to be girls as boys. They also conclude that the bully's parents are usually unaware that their kid is a bully. If they are made aware, chances are they'll just deny it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I suggest:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;see if you can observe what takes place during recess and lunch break;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;if your daughter has close friends who go to the same school, see if their parents can do a little research to find out what's happening (unfortunately, victims tend to be isolated; that's why they're targeted by bullies)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;look for another school; the authority figures at your daughter's school will gladly blame the victim if it gets them off the hook.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;consult a lawyer; a well-place letter from a lawyer to a district school board may get higher authority figures to take the issue seriously, because if there's anything they fear, it's bad publicity with their names attached to it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's likely to be no really positive outcome. But if you can find a school environment that your daughter can be reasonably comfortable in, that may be as good an outcome as you can hope for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25099" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T17:06:55.223" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27679" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-03T17:09:05.290" Score="30" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried talking to her? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first question I would ask is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Would you like to change school?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she said yes, ask why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a similar issue with my sister-in-law, she didn't wanted to go to school because of bullying. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But the issues could be something else, as for example, abuse as suggested before, but it could have been also a silly thing for us adults that is not so silly for a teenager.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing is, if she does not want to change school, then it means that there is nothing wrong with the school, but there is something with her, as for example depression.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she does not want to talk, a good friend of her may give you some answers.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25102" LastEditorUserId="5026" LastEditDate="2016-11-07T20:35:26.870" LastActivityDate="2016-11-07T20:35:26.870" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27680" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27655" CreationDate="2016-11-03T17:15:33.350" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son had similar issues with bowel movements (BMs) around that age. We used several &quot;Potty Power&quot; books to set our expectations, had a small child toilet he could use, the inner child seat for a regular toilet, and even taught him how to sit on a regular toilet. But while going pee in the toilet was progressing, he steadfastly refused to have a BM in any toilet (usually by not telling us he had to poop and just going in his pants/diaper. He had peer aged role models from family and day care.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then, one day, he came out of the bathroom all happy. He had a BM in the toilet all by himself! He excited declared that &quot;it didn't hurt at all&quot; (we were not even aware this was a concern for him) and ever since he has used the toilet exclusively.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My point is that you may just need to have patience and gentle persistence, he may just start one day, like he flipped a switch!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24022" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T17:15:33.350" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27681" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-03T20:22:52.373" Score="211" Body="&lt;p&gt;(Background: I saw this question on SE and am answering from an anonymous account because of personal details). I'm not a parent but feel the need to post because this resonated strongly with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter sounds like she's otherwise a normal, bright and happy teenage girl, with no major problems except for this school attendance issue. It's also obvious that the extent of her dislike for school is far beyond a typical teenage rebellion or desire to skip class. Please also understand I am not trying to worry you with this answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What you describe sounds very much like she's being abused at school. Most likely severe bullying by other pupils, but it's also possible that the staff are to blame either because they actively participate in the abuse or willfully ignore the abuse from pupils. While she obviously has to attend school, I think her attendance is less important than the underlying issues now - she can catch up academically later on anything she misses due to low attendance, but there's a real possibility that being at school is now harmful to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the age of 12-13, I acted quite similarly to what you describe. Due to the school system back then, I didn't have to physically resist going to school, but it was possible for me to fake attendance, to which I devoted a lot of effort. I rarely went to class, was evasive on any school-related subjects with my parents, and was particularly evasive regarding various material possessions (there were no lockers or such though). PE was my biggest problem and I skipped PE lessons for a year, even on days when I otherwise went to class. This is why your daughter's behaviour sounds familiar.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My issues were primarily caused by bullying from other kids, with most of the staff silently ignoring it. I was constantly verbally and psychologically bullied, with occasional attacks on my possessions - my bag or books would be stolen or damaged, once my schoolbag was stolen and then thrown at a teacher's head out of the window, attempting to frame me for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PE lessons were when the bullying quite consistently was worse, even getting physical. I had sometimes had my clothes stolen or destroyed, and of course PE, due to its nature, provided plenty of opportunity to do things like &quot;accidentally&quot; hitting me in the face, over the head, tripping me over, and so on. The PE teacher was, as I understand now, also an adult that shouldn't have worked with children - the teacher would often verbally humiliate me and make jokes at my expense (I was a kid with a small build and mediocre coordination). This is why PE eventually became the focal point of my school problems and I started skipping it entirely - and I was definitely willing to violently resist had anyone tried dragging me to PE.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I strongly suspect your daughter is experiencing something similar. If she's being bullied, the bullying could also be centered around sensitive issues. Having slight body issues is not too uncommon for a girl her age, but bullying could turn those into severe issues, such as her being afraid of her overall chest shape being seen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also find the school's behaviour very worrying. If they know about her problems from you, and are themselves being evasive about lockers and threatening to prosecute your family, then it's possible that the school is covering something up, such as the staff knowing about the bullying but neglecting it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter may benefit from a therapist. Assuming my guess is correct, she really needs to feel safe - which she doesn't at school. She needs to be fully aware that your first priority is her general well-being and not her grades or attendance right now. Ultimately, you need to get her to a point where she's comfortable telling you the truth, even if it is that she's being abused at school and threatened against talking about it or even changing schools.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My suggestions, specifically:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Do not assume the school has her best interests at heart, don't assume that she is safe at school (mentally first and foremost).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If she has any good friends at school, talk to them in private. Ask them if they have any idea that could help you. I specifically mean her friends, not their parents - if there's a major problem, her same-age friends may have noticed something but their parents would likely not know.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Look into appropriate therapists who could help your daughter talk. She might find it easier to open up to a stranger.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let her know, very explicitly, that you will not blame her for any problems other may cause her, and that your first priority is her well-being and safety. Let her know you're willing to send her to a different school or do anything else that may help her. She may be almost ready to tell you the truth but be too afraid of your reaction.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25105" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T20:22:52.373" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27682" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-03T22:13:26.317" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds like bullying to me.  And, if your daughter thought you could be of much help, she would have told you about it already.  So she believes that you can't (or won't) do anything about it, if you should learn the truth, and that her best strategy is absenteeism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get her to open up, you need to prove to her that you can and will make it stop.  Either by changing schools, or getting the guilty party punished, etc.  So decide first if you are going to commit to getting a solution.  Because it sounds like the school is willing to come after &lt;em&gt;you&lt;/em&gt;, if any faculty turns out to be somehow complicit.  If that is too much heat for you, maybe you should flee not fight (ie change schools or even move away).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Keep in mind also, for girls bullying often takes a psychological form.  Shaming, exclusion, submission tests, etc.  The particular aversion to PE class is a good place to start looking.  Also check her phone and social networks for abusive messages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7736" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T22:13:26.317" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27683" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-03T23:22:21.240" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with everybody else that it sounds very serious. It's obvious you have been thinking about this for a long time, and that you are troubled. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I won't repeat what others have said, but here's one other suggestion: try to talk to some of her school friends, or to the parents of her friends. Maybe you can get more information on the locker issue and other goings on that way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2229" LastActivityDate="2016-11-03T23:22:21.240" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27684" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-04T01:47:51.063" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, I agree with the other posters who suggest that your daughter may be trying to avoid an abusive situation, and that this should be taken very seriously.  In the short term, though, what should you do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You wrote that&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We are in the UK, where - as they keeps reminding us - parents can be sent to prison if their kids do not attend school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not, strictly speaking, true.  A more accurate statement would be:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;In England the Education Act on 1944 means that parents are legally&#xA;  obliged to educate their children, but do not have to do so by sending&#xA;  their child to school. The Direct Gov website (by the Government)&#xA;  lists a parent's duty. This is: that a 'child is not obliged to follow&#xA;  the National Curriculum or take national tests, but as a parent you&#xA;  are required by law to ensure your child receives full-time education&#xA;  suitable to their age, ability and aptitude'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ahomeeducation.co.uk/law-home-schooling-england-wales.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Source&lt;/a&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In other words, &lt;strong&gt;homeschooling is legal in the UK&lt;/strong&gt;.  I would consider having a serious discussion with your daughter about that as an option, even if it is only a temporary solution while you work on resolving whatever issues are traumatizing her so severely in school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25114" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T01:47:51.063" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27685" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-04T02:22:53.217" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter was truant from school from 15-17.  We were involved with the county courts in the US due to missing school.  Counseling, school trackers, probation with the courts, threats to move her to a group home - nothing helped. There were no other issues other than truancy. Only after she tried a different High School did she determine to get her General Education Diploma and not graduate from High School.  She was told by everyone she would amount to nothing.  She obtained her GED within 6 weeks. I had tried everything from extreme fighting, talking until I felt that there was nothing new to try to discover, to finally telling her this was her life and I had to turn this over to her.  It took her about another year to finally tell me what she could not figure out when she was in the midst of High School.  She did not fit in with the kids she wanted to be friends with. She did not have good friends in school. She had anxiety after she would miss classes.  Teachers were unkind after she missed classes. Administrators were worse.  She was not bullied.  She just did not find her fit and did not want to be there.  I do not have the solution for you.  I do feel your pain.  The good to my story is that my daughter turned 18 and from my consistent message of standing beside her through this and that she needed to take charge of her own life decisions at even at 17 - she decided she wanted to attend college part time and get a full time job.  Once she met other like-minded college women she took off!  She has a life plan now and is living it. My prayer for you is that you are able to assist your daughter to find her way and that it does not take you 2 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25115" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T02:22:53.217" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27686" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27670" CreationDate="2016-11-04T04:08:33.543" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to @Danny's strong answer, here are few more ideas:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;saline spray&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;help him learn to blow his nose (his doctor could help explain why this is important, and you could read &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1859222.The_Biggest_Nose&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1859222.The_Biggest_Nose&lt;/a&gt; together)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;inhale chamomile tea with the help of a towel tent (you could drape the towel over both of you together; note children can't handle as high a temperature, as adults can, when inhaling)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;perhaps a yoga for children class would be helpful, for learning deep, slow breathing for self-calming&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;develop some family jokes about talking in a funny, nasal style by putting a clothespin on your nose&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;check whether allergies may be involved; perhaps an anti-dust mite pillow, and an anti-dust mite mattress cover would be helpful&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;perhaps step into a steamy bathroom together when one of these episodes is coming on?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;raise the head of the bed&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T04:08:33.543" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27687" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-04T04:51:55.520" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are a variety of underlying health issues that can result in school refusal.  My 13yo went through a period of school refusal, but not as strong and not as prolonged as your daughter's.  My son has several neurological things going on, including OCD, which can be difficult to detect and diagnose.  But as the other answers and comments indicate, there are a number of different underlying things than can produce the same result.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The advice everyone has given you to get her started in therapy is right on target, of course, but my experience has shown me that sometimes it takes a while to get the right fit, and even after that, to start to see improvement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Therefore I have some specific suggestions for you, while that is falling into place.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider an alternative school placement.  Where I live, in the U.S., young people who are going through a rough patch can attend a small alternative program for a month.  See what is available where you are.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider homebound instruction.  Here is a link to one such program: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.p12.nysed.gov/nonpub/handbookonservices/homeboundinstruction.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.p12.nysed.gov/nonpub/handbookonservices/homeboundinstruction.html&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;Note, I think it is too soon to start thinking about selling your house, downsizing, one parent giving up a job.  However, you might want to consider one parent taking a temporary leave of absence.  You can also hire a child minder to keep your daughter safe and cared for at home during your absence.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you want to try to get a feel for how therapists evaluate for OCD, take a look at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.guilford.com/books/OCD-in-Children-and-Adolescents/March-Friesen/9781572302426&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;OCD in Children and Adolescents: A Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment Manual&lt;/a&gt; (hopefully available at your library, if only through interlibrary loan).  My son's therapist was not finding the OCD, until I gave my son a shortened version of the questionnaire in the back of this book, at home.  I took notes of his answers, took them to the therapist, and she was finally able to see what he had not been able to share with her -- despite her being a warm, skilled therapist, and despite him being very fond of her.  The problem was that she just didn't have the specialized training -- and OCD can be quite hard to diagnose without that specialized training.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It would be helpful in many ways to involve your daughter's primary care provider.  Do you call that a G.P. in the U.K.?  Her doctor can help you get the services your daughter needs, and can also discuss possible pharmacological treatments.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider making a few observations at school.  You might be surprised how helpful this can be.  (Example: when my son was in fifth grade, I knew something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it to help me understand.  When I went to the October Open House, and sat at his desk, I found out that his teacher had seated him where he couldn't see the board, and couldn't see her face.  Two minutes into her presentation I knew what was wrong -- his ADHD was driving her nuts, and she tried to solve the problem in the only way she knew how.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make an appointment after school for the school's director (principal?  headmaster/headmistress?) to visit your daughter's locker with you, for the two of you to discreetly try opening it and checking the contents together -- probably without your daughter being present.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take a look at a couple of the lists that are published online about school accommodations.  Pick a few of the ideas you read, that you think are most likely to help your daughter be more comfortable going to school, and ask the school to trial them to see if they help.  It might be overwhelming to show one of these long lists to your daughter; nevertheless, do try to get some input from her about what she thinks might help.  Example: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/pages/Classroom-Ideas-to-Reduce-Anxiety&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/pages/Classroom-Ideas-to-Reduce-Anxiety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If changing schools is a feasible option... observe the potential new school; compare your impressions with your observations of her current school.  If the new one looks promising, arrange for your daughter to visit it too.  Usually the best way to do this is to arrange a &quot;shadow&quot;.  A compassionate, friendly child her age volunteers to be her host, and your daughter would attend her host's classes with her, sit with her at lunch, etc.  Where I live, one of the schools uses this as the standard way of introducing fifth graders to middle school, the spring before making the change.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it turns out that your daughter is given a diagnosis of one sort or another, see if you can find a way for her to spend some time with other young people with the same diagnosis, even if you have to travel a bit.  A few months after my son was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, we attended a weekend Tourette family retreat.  It was worth the 5-hour drive!  He came home feeling much less weird, more accepting of his differences.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-12T07:43:23.793" LastActivityDate="2016-11-12T07:43:23.793" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27688" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-04T07:51:44.060" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Wow.  This sounds so much like my daughter at 13.  (She is now 22)  I basically could not get her to middle school.  I didn't know why for almost a year, a year in which I was subjected to school attendance review board hearing.  (Particularly humiliating as I am a teacher . . . )  Turns out she had developed social phobia anxiety and panic disorder. However it was clearly a family problem that triggered it - (our situations differ in this respect) My then husband, her father, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, of which he passed away a few short months later.  She also accidentally became privy to info. that he'd had an affair which produced a child.  So it all was quite traumatic-more for her than her sisters as she is the oldest and knew him longer.   She acted SO much like your daughter.  I probably could have done more to help her had the school nurse not failed to tell me that she was going to the office feeling sick on an almost daily basis and just sitting in the nurse's office crying.  Ultimately, I haven't been successful in any way; she is now an agoraphobic as well.  Beautiful and intelligent and completely shut off from the world.  My advice is to explore this possibility - the anxiety disorder- explore it fully and do whatever you can to get help for her. It is on the uprise among our teens - each year I have a couple more students (girls usually, a boy this year) who suffer with anxiety.  Luckily, there is also more info. and treatment options, as well, I believe.  Good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25120" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T07:51:44.060" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27689" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-04T07:59:34.830" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your daughter's at a difficult age. The school may be expecting more from her academically, and at 13 most kids are going through enough biological changes to bring out bullying, depression, pressure from peers to try drugs and sex, etc. so for a lot of kids school becomes a harrowing experience. I think if she's resisting that much it would be respectful of her to listen to her. It may be worth consider taking a short leave of absence. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Homeschooling may be a solution. If you're spending more time with her, the source of her distress may emerge more easily. In the meantime she can keep learning without the pressure of the school environment, maybe even figuring out what interests her as secondary school approaches. You also send the crucial message to her that you take her seriously. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the UK there is a well established nonprofit organization called &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.educationotherwise.net/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Education Otherwise&lt;/a&gt; that addresses compulsory education laws and offers a support network for families. The FAQ on the website states &quot;The law in England states that education is compulsory but school is not.&quot; and has documentation and instructions for a parent who wishes to take a child out of school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe once she's through this rough patch she'll return to school with a more assertive attitude: In the years we've homeschooled I've known a lot of families who took their kids home because of bullying or health reasons or learning problems, then they returned to school after things had resolved. Good luck! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25119" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T07:59:34.830" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27690" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27655" CreationDate="2016-11-04T14:06:23.263" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm no professional, just a dad.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try using the potty yourself&lt;/strong&gt;. This can help your child to see it's easy and they will usually like to copy you.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;strong&gt;Don't make too much of a big deal&lt;/strong&gt;. Be like, OK, if you don't want to use it that's fine, but when you do, I will be very happy, you will be a grown/big boy like dad/brother and you can have ...&lt;em&gt;something nice&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Leave him on his own with the potty&lt;/strong&gt;, maybe no nappy/pullups on and have the thing you said he can have if he uses the potty within sight.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Try getting a small seat for the toilet&lt;/strong&gt;. Some kids don't like potties, but will use toilet first(&lt;em&gt;Special seat just for him&lt;/em&gt;... etc.).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make it fun&lt;/strong&gt;. Get him to take one of his toys to the toilet/potty and get him to reasure the toy, as you would to him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Persevere&lt;/strong&gt;... Some kids take longer than others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19113" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T14:06:23.263" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27691" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27607" CreationDate="2016-11-04T15:20:51.300" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I feel so bad for you, BUT...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The thing she will notice more, is &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; reaction to it, how your behaviour has changed. You seem like a good mother, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;it was an accident&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. They happen! You can't fight a sudden instinctive reaction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way YOU deal with it is more important for you and your baby. You do a lot for your baby, you protect her &lt;strong&gt;every day&lt;/strong&gt;. And she knows this. Get your confidence back, and everything will be fine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="19113" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T15:20:51.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27692" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27623" CreationDate="2016-11-04T15:28:22.023" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Try using a weighted blanket (a duvet cover with a matrix of plastic beads sewn into it)  - we used one on our child when she was having night terrors and it helped. It gave her the feeling of &quot;being held&quot;, alternatively she may have melatonin issues, but you need to see a doctor to get assistance with this.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25135" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T15:28:22.023" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27694" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12471" CreationDate="2016-11-04T15:48:26.723" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter (2 1/2y) has it, and the sooner the better for intervention. Her speech was very delayed and we started teaching her sign language to defuse frustration, but then she was doing full &quot;four year old&quot; sentences (at just 2 1/2) within just a few months from four half-sounds; the paediatrician was amazed. She is a typical aspie; the sooner you intervene to help her the better her adult outcome will be. She's a demon with numbers and calendars, can count to 40 at 2, forwards and backward. She's trying to read already&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is a book called &quot;AsperGirls&quot; you can get from Amazon; I recommend it to you. We also got her some pink child's ear defenders, she puts them on when it gets too much stimulation wise and she needs a time out. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Restaurants are do-able if we take a mini DVD player and let her eat the rest on the way home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Its easy to read too much into behaviour, 3 year olds are only just starting to get social developmentally anyways. But as an aspie you can &lt;em&gt;encourage&lt;/em&gt; interaction by giving her a focus; we paint her fingernails so she can show people and so interact. They prefer adults and animals as kids do random noisy things that frighten them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25136" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T15:48:26.723" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27695" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-04T17:35:05.950" Score="23" ViewCount="1314" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 8 year old son loves to play with dolls. Anything pink and sparkly lights up his heart, and he will even play dress up from time to time. He gets picked on at school for being friends with mostly girls and for liking girly things. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I love my son for who he is. His courage to be himself inspires me but it also scares me for his future experiences. As he gets older his interests are going to make him somewhat of a target for bullies throughout school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;His older brother tries to discourage him from his interests, telling him it's not the way he should be acting. I have talked with my oldest son about loving and accepting people no matter what his opinion is about them, especially family. I tell him the world is a hateful place that makes people think it is alright to torment and even outcast others for how they live their lives. He tells me he understands. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How best can I reinforce to my son that he is perfect just the way he is while still preparing him for the unaccepting, judgemental, and cruel world ahead of him? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25142" LastEditorDisplayName="user11394" LastEditDate="2016-11-07T20:14:26.890" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T08:17:11.410" Title="How to help my son to be himself?" Tags="|bullying|gender|gender-stereotypes|" AnswerCount="7" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27696" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27695" CreationDate="2016-11-04T22:13:21.470" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Just keep doing what you are doing, reinforce the message not only to him but to those who you have influence with, that he is a wonderful person, and that you love him just the way he is.  That, more than anything else you can do or give him, will give him the strength to deal with the sociental disapproval which is directed at anyone who dares to swim against our cultural currents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Wear pink yourself every now and then.  Encourage your spouse to do the same.  Laugh together about how silly people are to disapprove of what color people choose to wear.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bring up current issues that revolve around this problem and discuss them at the dinner table.  Shame and secrecy are your enemies.  So many evil things that we do to each other shrink back before the light.  And the discussion can help to give perspective when similar things happen when you aren't around.  Debating about the issues will give him the tools and the experience to hold his own when others try to push their viewpoints on him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Find books and movies about people who had the courage to stand up and be themselves, even though the world tried to force them into its own image.  Talk about how much courage Rosa Parks had to have in order to stand up to people who told her she wasn't allowed to sit on a bus.  Or how in Afghanistan they throw acid in little girl's faces for daring to go to school.  Or how society used to openly discriminate against men with long hair, or women who wore pants.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't force your older son to adopt your younger's values, but do introduce both of them to the concept that we can agree to disagree, without losing love or respect for one another.  What a boring world we would live in if we were all alike.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14970" LastActivityDate="2016-11-04T22:13:21.470" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27697" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27695" CreationDate="2016-11-05T03:14:18.123" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are a few ideas to add to what you're already thinking and doing:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Since you don't know exactly where your child is going to end up on the gender spectrum, you might want to learn more about gender fluidity.  I found the following book helpful: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amybloom.com/books/normal-transsexual-ceos-crossdressing-cops-and-hermaphrodites-with-attitude/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.amybloom.com/books/normal-transsexual-ceos-crossdressing-cops-and-hermaphrodites-with-attitude/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to connect with other families in your area who are facing similar things, for mutual support.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Does the high school in your area have a Gay-Straight Alliance?  Connecting with them can be helpful in many ways -- it can help you find young people for your child to connect with, and it can help you figure out which schools are the most supportive in your area for gender diversity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be on the alert for instances of injustice in your area, and help your child recognize what's really going on; but be careful not to create negative expectations in your child's mind.  There is a lot more acceptance of gender nonconformity today than you might realize.  At your child's current age, it's best to keep your attitude positive, upbeat and open.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;With respect to your older child -- you might want to consider doing a bit of work with a family therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-05T23:23:04.990" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T23:23:04.990" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27698" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22246" CreationDate="2016-11-05T07:02:23.090" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a narcissist as a father. My mom tried to keep the family together for the sake of being normal. She thought it would be best for us. It was hard to live with my father and to take the emotional abuse. I am 33 now and he has never changed. In fact he is still trying to have control over me with guilt trips, abusive language and mental games. I do still love my dad but distance is best for myself and my own family. As a child it hurt to not have him involved or even care but for me it was worse when he was around because I constantly felt bad about myself and unloved. It is best not to hide who your daughters father is. Kids are really smart and likely she already knows. Just make sure she always hears that it is him who has a mental illness and it's not her fault. Best wishes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25152" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T07:02:23.090" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27699" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6185" CreationDate="2016-11-05T10:41:40.630" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Pick a time when you have a free hour and sit down with him.&#xA;First ask about the other ideas he has in mind. Hear them legitimately, and discuss how they might be feasible. &lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Then show him this picture from the US department of labor, or one like it: &lt;br /&gt; &#xA;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.bls.gov/emp/images/ep_chart_001.png&quot; alt=&quot;income graph&quot;&gt;&#xA;Then tell him that, with those being medians, it is possible to earn more without a college degree and less with one. Talk about a few famous examples: Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. But remind them that Larry Page of Google and Jeff Bezos of Amazon have college degrees too. Discuss that in order to be successful without a college degree, you have to really work hard, market yourself constantly, and still devote hours of learning to whatever topic you need. For example, does he want to go into coding or tech? He should be spending weeks learning how to code with books and websites. He should be learning how to code already. He needs to have a relentless drive for squashing bugs and a wealth of creativity for new ideas. Does he want to start his own business? Talk to him about what he needs to know for his business, and about his ability to manage people and funds.  &lt;br /&gt;&#xA;After you've discussed living without a college degree, talk to him about college itself. Does he think it's a financial hardship? Does he think it's too much for him to handle right now? Talk these out with him. If he presents serious concerns about finances or if he's ready, address them and keep them in mind. Talk out ways you could get him ready, and ways you could fund his college. While you don't need to convince him to go to college, but you do need him to see that it is plausible.  &lt;br /&gt;&#xA;Finally, ask him what he thinks now. If he still says he doesn't want a degree, that's fine. Talk to him about what he needs to do to succeed without one, and how he can get himself to that point.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;If he does want a degree, assure him that you'll support him mentally and financially.  &lt;br /&gt;&#xA;But, no matter what he thinks, remind him that, no matter what he chooses, you love him and you do whatever you need for him to be happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25155" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-10T09:42:47.703" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T10:41:40.630" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27700" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-05T13:34:55.933" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would just like to add to other answers that while changing school might not be a long term solution it might be a short term one allowing your family to bring the situation under control without damaging your financial situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Changing school has several consequences : &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It might make your kid lose her current friends network &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;It might teach her that it's OK to run from problems and leaves her unprepared if the problem happens again&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It leaves the bullies unaffected &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But it will give all your family a breather and possibly salvaging your kid school year while starting a good therapy and dealing with the consequences. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not a full answer to your situation, but I felt you might benefit from this consideration. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22059" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T13:34:55.933" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27701" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-05T14:42:11.423" Score="2" ViewCount="1060" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our baby boy is 9 months old. We have had sleeping issues with him since the very beginning. He has been with us in our room since he was born, and normally he starts sleeping in his bed but around 1am he wakes up and we bring him to our bed. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We decided breastfeeding was necessary but a couple of weeks ago we decided to end it after baby was waking up about 15 times during the night to have the breast. The situation got better ever since as he's no longer looking for a breast, but still he's waking up about 5 times during the night. Last night we woke up at 4:30 am and there was no way to make him sleep again. Only after 2 hours of struggling he went back to sleep but woke up again after an hour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a brief description of Leo's schedule:&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Going to sleep at about 8:30-9:00 right after a bath and a bottle&#xA;(210ml with cereal). Wakes up 3 to 6 times a night. Till about 2am&#xA;it's quite easy to put him back to sleep, even without taking him out&#xA;of the bed. After 2am he usually moves to our bed, we sometimes put&#xA;him back in his bed after making him sleep again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wakes up at 6:30-7:30, always different.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Gets his first bottle as soon as he wakes up (150ml with cereal).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Then plays till around 10-11 am (Depends on how he slept the night),&#xA;gets some fruits, bread with butter and cookies in the meantime.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;10:30 second bottle (150ml just formula).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Naps for 30 - 45 min in his bed (needs to be nursed), if taken in the&#xA;arms the moment he starts waking up, he can sleep for another hour in&#xA;his mama's arms. He gets his yogurt at about 1pm. 2 pm bottle (150ml&#xA;just milk).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If he slept for about 1,5-2 h first nap, he will than go to sleep at&#xA;around 4:30-5pm and sleep for 30-45 min (same pattern), if the first&#xA;nap was short he will nap 2 more times 45 min each (at around 2 and&#xA;5pm).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He almost does not eat veggies and meat, very seldom. He gets more&#xA;cookies in the afternoon, and some substantial food from our dinner&#xA;plates if he wants (not always).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He drinks at around 30ml of water per day.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Generally he plays and moves around a lot.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I try to take him out every day for at least an hour, he also often&#xA;naps in the stroller with the fresh air.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The situation has come to an extreme point where we are desperate and we need to really seek for help. Today in a fair for expats we saw someone who provides counseling services in this type of situations, and I was wondering if this was true or all gibberish. We also thought that if it were true, then we could actually get advice on sites like this one, so I'm wondering if someone here can give us a few tips to try. We thought to try putting him in a separate bedroom starting tonight, but we're afraid we will have to bring him back after hearing him freaking out because he doesn't find his parents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25157" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-26T16:40:36.413" LastActivityDate="2018-08-26T16:40:36.413" Title="Sleeping nightmare with my 9-month-old baby" Tags="|infant|sleep|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27702" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-11-05T15:00:14.647" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;The intervention, whether it's real or not, is not your main problem. The real problem is the boy prefers you over his dad and has issues accepting him as his parent. I suspect the parenting between the two of you is inconsistent in such a degree the boy favours the one he thinks he benefits most from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I agree with the first part of anongoodnurse's answer, especially the part about being a united front. Your boy is (ab)using the fact the two of you are not united.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How much feedback do you and your partner give each other on parenting? Compliment each other with the parts you both agree on both to ease the situation you're currently in and to help each other understand what parts you agree upon and which not. This will make it easier to appear united in later situations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10056" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T15:00:14.647" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27703" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27701" CreationDate="2016-11-05T16:39:24.810" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could be feeding related. My daughter wakes up in the middle of the night if she is hungry. We give her milk and she goes back to sleep fine. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Make sure your son is well fed before he goes to sleep. Try giving him milk just before he sleeps and whenever he wakes up crying, try giving him milk again. Also perhaps use full cream milk, it is dense energy source and filling for kids. Hope that helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25161" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T16:39:24.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27704" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27622" CreationDate="2016-11-05T18:55:17.937" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I know four year olds can be difficult. I raised four children of my own, and now have a four year old grandson that I live with full time and watch for my daughter after pre Kindergarden. He does the same thing your child does. But, only to my daughter. He does it to kids and teacher's aides at school, but not to the teacher. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My thoughts as to why... Consistency in your expectations of your child. His perception of your confidence in his abilities as a &quot;big boy&quot;, and his emotional development as it pertains to his understanding of different levels of emotions. Feelings and his ability to recognize and express frustration. It wasn't until my fourth child that I realized teaching your children that there are many more emotions beyond happy, sad, and angry. Four year olds are often frustrated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We often think our children do not have a care in the world... Not true.&#xA;At this age, the world around them starts becoming very large. It is new and frightening and exciting and they are small and curious and apprehensive. And you want them to be a big kid and stay a baby. See where I am going with that?&#xA;Do you allow your child to get himself dressed? I don't mean pick his wardrobe, but button buttons and zip zippers. Or decide which vegetable to serve with dinner? Do you allow him to help prepare? Set the table?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Do you and your family have a daily routine? This is actually very important.&#xA;I believe your child is showing this behavior as a means of gaining control. Not necessarily trying to control you, probably not about you, since he acts this way to others. Maybe he feels anxiety, and has less confidence in himself than he should. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please, avoid bribery. That is not getting what you wan through effective parenting. You do not want to have to bribe a 15 year old not to sneak out, or drink. Everything you do now, will affect your lives in the future. Good habits now, less problems later.&#xA;This is not a power struggle. Your child is asking for validation of his abilities.&#xA;Avoid using terms like &quot;good boy or bad boy&quot; &quot;you are naughty&quot; etc. Try instead to get him to see that the outcome he desires can be achieved only through his ability to make a positive choice or a negative choice. &#xA;Understanding natural consequence, will help you instill the ability for him to understand it as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are always rushing through getting dressed, having breakfast, getting to daycare or school, and doing everything for him, in an attempt to save time, hassle, and your sanity in the morning, you are not helping him achieve the independence he needs to feel in control of his own person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember, the behaviors you describe are symptoms of a deeper need, and getting answers to the symptoms may work today. And I'm sure there will be many posts addressing your symptoms. Mine is trying to address the underlying cognitive development of your tiny human. His needs. His future. For when you have to let him fly away from home, and he has to get along with others that most certainly were raised differently than he was.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://study.com/academy/topic/development-in-early-childhood.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://study.com/academy/topic/development-in-early-childhood.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider the above free course in child family and community.&#xA;I hope I have given you useful information.&#xA;You are a good mother. You asked for help. That's a good mother. Parenting can be difficult. It's ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25162" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-15T13:19:15.327" LastActivityDate="2018-11-15T13:19:15.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27705" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12299" CreationDate="2016-11-05T18:58:38.017" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm on the fence on this one for several reasons and here is why - I come from a big very big family - I am one of ten, yes 10! In return I have one child with my husband who comes from a family of three boys. When we dated I joked that I never wanted kids - deep down inside I did, but wanted it to happen when God said - so in 2011 I gave birth to our son Jude - after he was born we said we were done - and then after 9 months we thought we were pregnant again which we weren't but at that time we both were ok with having another baby and then life sped up x10! You both work, both still have hobbies, we love to travel with our son (Cayman islands, Nicaragua, California, Chicago etc. etc.) and then we said we were done - but there are times where I would like to have a second child and then there are times where I don't. In the end the decision is mine and my husband's. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now why am I on the fence with this one, simply because my best friends are my brothers and sisters we do everything together, they're the ones I confide in and celebrate holidays with and when I have parenting issues I go to them first and then google - hahaha. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Growing up my parents worked a lot (my dad was out to sea a total of 13 years) some birthday, holidays, graduations were missed but we understood - we have always been a close tight knit family, some siblings closer to others but now that we have kids our kids are close with each other, there are times our son cries and doesn't want to leave his grandparents' house because that's where the kids are. On the weekends he asks for the cousins to sleep over and vice versa. My sister has two kids and they continuously seek for our son to always sleep over as well so it kind of has me wondering it's not an only child thing because they get sad when our son leaves (I think it's just because they are close to him and just love spending time with each other). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now on the other hand my husband and I both enjoy having an only child - he hasn't asked for another sibling yet... haha, but I feel with having an only child we take him everywhere with us and we can manage with one still both work full time and give him our undivided attention - I have heard it all as well - &quot;you're selfish for having one&quot;, &quot;just give him two or three siblings&quot;, &quot;why stop at one you're still young&quot;, &quot;one is easy - too easy&quot; - bottom line having any kid is a true blessing from god. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have the joys and coming from a big family but also getting to experience the other side of having a little family and to be honest both make me happy and both give me the same love in return - it doesn't matter how big or how small your family is, what matters is being a mom and a dad to your children - presence is important as I have friends from both big families and only child families and nothing is consistent with &quot;stereotypes&quot;- the one thing I do see that has an affect on kid's behavior is how much involvement the parents have in the kid's life :) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25163" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-03-18T22:43:22.417" LastActivityDate="2018-03-18T22:43:22.417" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27706" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27708" CreationDate="2016-11-05T20:51:13.093" Score="2" ViewCount="577" Body="&lt;p&gt;A friend of mine is convinced that &lt;strong&gt;chemtrails are a primary cause of her son's asthma&lt;/strong&gt;.  This is a conspiracy theory that asserts governments are intentionally spraying chemicals out of airplanes for various unclear but nefarious reasons; see &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemtrail_conspiracy_theory&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Wikipedia&lt;/a&gt; for more details.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now I'm generally a live-and-let-live kind of guy, but her belief has reached the point where she won't take her son outside if chemtrail &quot;monitoring&quot; sites (which I won't dignify with a link) are indicating high chemtrail activity.  I'm aware that this is going to be an uphill battle, but &lt;strong&gt;how do I get her to realize that chemtrails don't exist&lt;/strong&gt;, and she's better off focusing on things that are &lt;em&gt;actually&lt;/em&gt; known to &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.nationalasthma.org.au/understanding-asthma/what-are-asthma-triggers&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;trigger asthma&lt;/a&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(And oh, before somebody tells me to call CPS, she does fortunately also believe in modern medicine and uses inhalers etc for management.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3248" LastActivityDate="2024-01-22T20:47:17.600" Title="Friend believes chemtrails are triggering her son's asthma" Tags="|parents|asthma|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27707" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-05T20:56:12.640" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your child is currently being failed by the school and the medical system.  She has something like a school phobia (although there are good reasons why nobody should diagnose over the Internet, especially non experts).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The school should be supporting you to get treatment. This would include treatment for her, and some family therapy for you all to understand how best to support her. They've threatened prosecution. To reassure you, the fact that you're seeking treatment, and have asked the school to help you, should be seen as you being protective of her. Please do document the school's failure to support your child. You may want to contact your local child safeguarding board to raise a concern about the school's lack of help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sadly, CYPS (children and young people's mental health services) are currently massively oversubscribed and under funded. There's some recent investment in the form of the Young People's Transformational Plan, but some clinical commissioning groups have spent this money on other stuff. Please, if you find your experiences of getting treatment aren't good let your MP know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To get treatment you need to go to your GP and push. You need to be polite, but assertive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because of the regional nature of clinical commissioning groups it's tricky to know what's available in your area. Some areas are better than others (they spent the YPTP cash on young people).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are some example websites giving some information:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Gloucestershire: (text co-created with young people. All artwork created by young people.  A lovely site.) &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.onyourmindglos.nhs.uk/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.onyourmindglos.nhs.uk/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Liverpool: (Award winning CYPS / CAMHS): &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.freshcamhs.org/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.freshcamhs.org/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;National Charity MIND has some info for young people: &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/children-and-young-people/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/children-and-young-people/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting mental health treatment for a child is a difficult time for the family, but it's important to remember that most mental health problems are very treatable, and respond well to early intervention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good Luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T20:56:12.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27708" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27706" CreationDate="2016-11-05T21:00:33.687" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sadly you are unlikely to be able to change anyone's belief system. People believe all kinds of things. That's why they are called beliefs and not facts. Facts can and are proven. Beliefs can't and aren't. It's fortunate that she is managing the child's asthma in an appropriate manner. But as to changing her belief system as to the cause, that's not going to happen and it's fortunate that her belief isn't an immediate detriment to the health of the child. Whether it has an impact on the psychological health of the child remains to be seen, but I think that unlikely. My mother believed numerous things that I won't dignify by outlining here, but still ended up with a logical child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7746" LastActivityDate="2016-11-05T21:00:33.687" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27709" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27695" CreationDate="2016-11-05T21:59:06.813" Score="31" Body="&lt;p&gt;This really resonated with me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From my own experience, and speaking as someone who danced ballet for a number of years (in point shoes), wore girlish clothes and make up, etc... –– it's impossible to know who your son is going to &quot;be&quot; when he's an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;People tried this a lot with me. It was always painful when I was sat down and given the &quot;talk&quot; that &quot;it's okay to be yourself and be gay.&quot; (It is.) However, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I wasn't gay.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; And when I told family/friends/teachers this, they laughed and said I was in denial. Everyone tried to tell me that I was gay, and so I began to believe it. Because of this, I dated NO ONE seriously or intimately until I was 25.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You son is 8 years old. All his actions which seem like sexuality/gender defining things are just actions and things to him. Pink sparkly things are cool. Women's clothes are BY FAR more interesting visually than men's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said, society will simply assign labels. It's what people do. It sucks. But the only label you need to worry about is being a parent to your son. You son will learn all about labels and what he wants assigned.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I still wear pink underwear, but I like to have sex with women. I don't care if that confuses/upsets other people, who shouldn't be looking at my underwear anyway. But what I wear and what I do are my business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son's too. If he's confused by other people's actions/attitudes, it is your duty to explain why. And it's up to your son to decide how he'd like to be perceived.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;EDIT: I realize a big part of the question is a paraphrase for 'how to prepare your son for a cruel world.'&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only thing you can do is tell the truth. His older brother is taking on this mantle and trying to protect his younger brother in the only way he knows how: to let him know what behavior is acceptable social standards. He isn't wrong. Children aren't complex. Society judges us all quickly with little regard for personal complexity. The older brother's reasoning is likely -- Behavior &quot;A&quot; == receive bullying; solution: stop behavior &quot;A.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, what I tried to illustrate from my own life is that sexuality isn't determined by any other action than sexual intercourse and what stimulates you to engage. At 8 years old, it's unlikely he has made any decisions regarding this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your son is older and begins asking more questions regarding sexuality, the one conversation which helped me was with my (dearly departed) grandfather. When I was about 15, I asked him if I was gay. He very seriously responded with, &quot;when you walk into a room, who do you to look at more?&quot; My answer was &quot;girls, but I [dress the way I do and like makeup, ballet, etc.], and besides, what does that have to do with who I like to look at?&quot; His response, &quot;then who do you like looking at you?&quot; (Girls.) While it wasn't obvious at the time, it was a life-changing conversation in very cut-and-dried terms, which would echo into my future.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again I want to note that it was helpful to learn that my actions cast &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;specific&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; judgment on me, and yet I still found ways to rebel which make me happy being me. (Awesome pink underwear.) But I've also learned how to live in society and not aggravate total strangers or coworkers to irrational behavior. (More or less.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;PS: I realize my answer now seems to have drifted from the question slightly, however, the OP originally tagged it &quot;homosexuality.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22119" LastEditorUserId="22119" LastEditDate="2018-04-26T08:17:11.410" LastActivityDate="2018-04-26T08:17:11.410" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27710" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27701" CreationDate="2016-11-06T00:22:16.870" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Possible sources of help for you:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;this forum (but we would need more information, such as daytime nap schedule, recent milestones such as crawling, standing up, daytime activity level, temperament, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;your baby's doctor&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;breastfeeding support group in your area&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I didn't understand &quot;We decided breastfeeding was necessary.&quot;  It would be helpful to know what the patter was before you made that decision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It is generally possible to night-wean a breastfed baby at 9 months.  However, it generally won't work if baby can smell Mama.  The other parent and baby need to sleep in a separate room from Mama during this process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The gentle way to night-wean is to remove one feeding at a time.  For example, suppose baby is in the habit of nursing at 11 pm, 2 am and 4 am.  You would pick either the 2 am or the 4 am nursing to eliminate first.  Suppose it's the one at 2 am.  Here's how you would do it.  Mama would nurse at 11 and put baby to bed in the room where Papa is happily snoring.  Then she'd go to bed in the room where she's going to sleep.  Baby wakes up at 2, cries for Mama (who is using ear plugs and white noise).  Papa sings and walks and baby goes back to sleep.  When baby wakes up at 4, Papa delivers baby to Mama and goes back to bed in the other room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If baby's weight is good and he is eating and nursing well during the day and evening, it should be possible to go from 11 pm to 6 am without nursing at 9 months.  The night-weaning process can take up to two weeks but usually is quicker than that.  Papa will need afternoon naps until the process is complete.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once the process is complete baby will be able to sleep in the same room with both parents again (if those are the sleeping arrangements you prefer).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sources: La Leche League books and meetings; books by William and Martha Sears, personal experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So let's see if I've understood your update.  9 mo old baby sleeps either two or three daytime naps.  First nap mid-morning, short, but sometimes you stretch it longer.  If first nap is short, he has two more naps, otherwise second nap is at about 5 pm.  Doesn't like meat or vegetables.  Baby was partially weaned a couple of weeks ago because he was driving you guys nuts with crazy frequent nighttime nursing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, one possible explanation is that your baby is not neurotypical and not a good sleeper.  Hard to tell at this distance!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Let's assume otherwise.  Here are some suggestions (which you are free to ignore).  Obviously these are just ideas to try.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure baby only naps twice in one day.  Aim for the afternoon nap to be the major nap, i.e. don't stretch the morning nap.  However, feel free to do the stretching out thing in the afternoon.  (In approximately 3 months you will probably want to guide baby to sleep only one nap per day, in the afternoon, see Dr Spock's &lt;em&gt;Baby and Child Care&lt;/em&gt;.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reduce the bottles.  (At this point it might be difficult to go off bottles entirely cold turkey.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't put any cereal in the bottles.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eliminate the cookies.  Reduce the bread.  Make plenty of other foods available.  Sneak homemade purée of cooked chicken or soft tofu into some other food that baby likes (perhaps puréed cooked carrots?).  I was struck with the limited repertoire of foods your baby is experimenting with.  Besides all the obvious reasons to try to expand his repertoire, another good reason is to prevent allergies from developing later.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I hope baby is in a high chair playing with food during meal times, for example, peas, small pieces of foods, to have fun with, whether they go into his mouth or not.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Go to bed early with baby (in the evening).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Go ahead and night-wean him now.  We were inspired to do this by our La Leche League leader who had done it with her babies, and we tried it ourselves with baby #2.  I'm not saying all babies can handle this (our #1 wouldn't have been able to, he was EXTREMELY needy), but I think most can.  Now that I've read your description I think that it might be worthwhile to go ahead and do this less gradually than what I described above.  This would be Papa's job.  It's not easy.  Lots of walking and singing and crying.  It really can't be in the same room with Mama.  The process could take from 3 days to a week, probably.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(The alternative to this is for Mama to learn to nurse lying down dozing.  It helps for her to lie on her side, with a cylindrical pillow stuffed at her back so she can stay propped on her side, but completely relaxed.  Now this works great for some mothers but not for everybody.  Many mothers are just not able to sleep properly with the fiddling and the breast stimulation.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol start=&quot;8&quot;&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If there is any concern about milk supply, Mama can increase her milk supply by using a supplementer (either Medela or Lact-aid, we used Lact-aid personally, but I understand Medela is quite similar).  In fact, by taking this approach you could in principle eliminate the bottles entirely if you wanted to go that route.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note, if you want to try him out with sleeping in another room, either now or later on but are feeling anxious that he might cry too much and work himself into a state before you are awake enough to go to the other room, use a baby monitor, for your own peace of mind.  That way you can respond pretty promptly but he's still getting the hang of sleeping somewhere else.  That method is used by many people, although I will say that we did not take this approach at our house.  We felt that it was a lot less hard on us to help baby during the night if he was close by.  Our bed was on a low futon platform, and baby was sleeping on a thin crib mattress on the floor right next to the big bed.  Well, that's just us, you don't have to do it that way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will explain about the naps.  If there's too much daytime napping, it's hard to have a proper &quot;night&quot;.  On the other hand, if baby doesn't nap, and gets overtired, life is hell!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would try very hard not to allow a nap to begin later than 4 pm.  A 5 pm nap is going to be very confusing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, those are my ideas, feel free to comment or ask a question; I look forward to the next update.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-11T04:51:42.163" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T04:51:42.163" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27711" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-06T03:11:49.730" Score="8" ViewCount="426" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old will take a long time doing anything.  If nobody stops her, she'll spend an hour in the bathroom.  Meals will essentially never end unless somebody keeps reminding her to eat or else helps feed her (something she is perfectly capable of doing by herself).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since we'll often have things going on (school, appointments, etc.), I can't have her taking as long as she wants.  But I feel like I spend half of my time telling her to &quot;hurry up&quot; or reminding her to eat her dinner.  How do I get her to focus and hurry up a bit more?  I don't need her to scarf down her food or make a super quick trip to the bathroom; I just need her to do things at a standard pace.  Even a slow pace would be ok.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25173" LastActivityDate="2016-11-06T19:04:08.313" Title="Getting 3-year-old to hurry up" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27714" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27711" CreationDate="2016-11-06T19:04:08.313" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;This sounds familiar. Here are a couple of things we've tried:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Handwashing. This used to take 5 or even 10 minutes. I bought a cheap 60 second hourglass timer, which my daughter now starts when she starts washing her hands. If she's done before the sand runs out, she gets a single &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gummy_bear&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;gummy bear&lt;/a&gt; reward. Of course the next step is to figure out how to phase out the reward!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mealtime. Again, time related. This one is less strict, but if it's clear that she's done eating, and everybody else is done, then we take the remaining food away. Occasionally she'll eat a &quot;dinner&quot; that consists of three kernels of corn. Breakfast is always a popular meal for her. Barring serious medical problems, kids won't starve themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;More generally, a strategy that I've started using is when she's delaying/distracted, is to walk away, or at least threaten to. For example, &quot;ok, I'll come back when you have your shoes on&quot; usually results in &quot;noooooo, stay here!&quot; followed by putting shoes on. 3 year olds love attention, and they'll do whatever you want as long as you don't take the attention away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9114" LastActivityDate="2016-11-06T19:04:08.313" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27715" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-07T00:42:17.303" Score="6" ViewCount="602" Body="&lt;p&gt;When out with my 4 year old, we go to the bathroom at EVERY place we go to. I call it bathroom tourism. I don't think he has to go nearly as often as he indicates, but, since he manages to conjure up some poop or pee at each stop its hard to tell if he felt a real physical urge or if he just wanted to check out yet another ladies' room color scheme. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is, when is it appropriate for me to start requiring him to &quot;hold it&quot;? How long can I expect him to be able to wait to relieve himself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some history and relevant facts:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was a bed wetter until very recently; we still wake him at 11:00 to go to the bathroom, just in case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has only had one accident (urine) since potty training, and it was because he was holding it and refused to go to the bathroom, despite our repeated efforts to get him to go.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This kid drinks A LOT of water and milk. It's just who he is; we had him tested for diabetes, etc since his thirst seems excessive, but all tests indicate he's normal. Obviously, because of this the volume that he puts out is more than the average kid.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He stands up to pee. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He doesn't have any problems with constipation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6677" LastEditorUserId="6677" LastEditDate="2016-11-07T13:01:47.667" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T13:27:19.847" Title="At what age should a child be expected to learn to &quot;hold it&quot;" Tags="|pre-schooler|development|potty-training|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27716" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27715" CreationDate="2016-11-07T03:38:38.187" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;First, be thankful your son is telling you rather than just going in his pants without mentioning it ahead of time.  At age 4, if he's able to tell you when he needs to pee, and if he is asking as often as he seems to be asking, he may well be able to hold it for a short period of time.  I've asked my 4 year old to hold it with success when I knew that he could usually last for longer between bathroom trips.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest picking some times when you know there will be another bathroom available within, say, half an hour, telling him there isn't time to go just yet, and asking him to hold it for the next bathroom.  Increase the intervals until they are either long enough that they're not a burden for you, or he starts having accidents.  If the latter, back off to an interval that he can handle without accidents.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, if he is not yet peeing standing up, you can make most of the bathroom visits a lot quicker by teaching him to do so.  At age 4, there's a good chance he can learn to do this with a standard toilet height.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23438" LastEditorUserId="23438" LastEditDate="2016-11-07T16:48:34.477" LastActivityDate="2016-11-07T16:48:34.477" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27720" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="10824" CreationDate="2016-11-07T16:20:57.513" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Coconut is a good option. A long piece of coconut after Smoothing the edges can bring relief.  However, the coconut flesh should be sufficiently hard so that child cannot bite it off and swallow it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25202" LastEditorUserId="11746" LastEditDate="2016-11-08T13:11:17.413" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T13:11:17.413" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27722" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-07T17:47:32.777" Score="1" ViewCount="542" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an 11-year-old son. His father wanted me to abort him. Now, he has seen him for the first time on Saturday. The father has never seen him prior or reached out to ask about him or try to see him. The father even said &quot;I love you, I always have&quot; to my son. A complete stranger does that to him. That &lt;strong&gt;pissed&lt;/strong&gt; me off! Now he says he hadn't reached out sooner because he couldn't/can't afford it, then why reach out now!?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am worried I am going to protect him too much, where my son will get mad at me. Any suggestions on how to handle this man/father in his life?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25204" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-11-25T18:23:54.297" LastActivityDate="2018-11-25T18:23:54.297" Title="How to handle the father of my 11-year-old son who just met him for the first time in our son's best interest?" Tags="|relationships|pre-teen|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27723" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27722" CreationDate="2016-11-07T18:36:01.280" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree we could use more background, and will edit this answer as more is posted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have a perfect right to be upset and worried; upset because you did all the parenting without an iota of help from the father, and worried because the father doesn't have a good track record of being a loving, supportive and responsible person.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, this is about what your son a) needs, and b) wants. You know your son better than anyone else. If he has expressed thoughts that indicate he felt abandoned/unloved by his father's lack of involvement in his life, this is an opportunity to mitigate this feeling to some extent (probably not greatly - abandonment issues run quite deep for most - but maybe so; his father might be a much better man now.) Your son deserves the opportunity. I will not comment on what his father deserves, because this is about your son, not the father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your son may need this desperately, not at all, or anything in between, but at 11, unless there is abuse involved, it should be his choice. It's what he &lt;em&gt;wants&lt;/em&gt; to do, or he would have expressed a reluctance to do so. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what country you're in, but the father may have a right, even at this late date, to contact his son as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My advice is that you exercise caution quietly, and withhold any strongly negative opinions you may have about his father, about his father's treatment of you, or about the fact that he wanted his son to be aborted. That kind of information doesn't help your son to deal with his loss at all; it only makes you feel heard (which is understandable; you've been through a lot.) However, hearing your feelings is not your son's job; express negative feelings and concerns to a friend or family member, but please protect your son from feeling even worse about his predicament. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By quiet caution, I mean pay careful attention to anything your son reveals about the meeting(s), his mood and behavior after visits, changes in his school or social performance, anything that might indicate that the visits do more harm than good. Give him an opportunity to discuss his feelings, whatever they are, because he needs the most important person in his life to be able to work this out with. If he has positive feelings, he may be reluctant to share them if he knows you have strongly negative feelings about the man, so as difficult as it may seem, try to express happiness for him if he is tentatively positive in his discussions. Encourage without bias all honest discussion, positive, neutral or negative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If these meetings seem to meet some need in your son and don't seem to cause any harm, let them continue. It will be showing a great deal of respect for your son that he will appreciate not only now but when he has children of his own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If the visits seem to be causing any harm, get involved. Again, talk to your son about his feelings. If it's just that he's conflicted, he might do well to have a therapist to talk to also. Abandonment issues are not easily resolved.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If he seems to be actively harmed by or expresses that he doesn't want to continue the visits, stop them and talk to a lawyer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As to how to 'handle' the father, that depends on how the father treats you &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; your son. You owe him nothing, but the kind thing to do for your son's sake is to treat him politely. If he's unkind to you but kind to your son, you can have extremely limited contact (just a brief meeting at the point of exchange). If he's kind to you, how much further you want to go (e.g. letting him come into the house when picking up your son, etc.) is completely up to you. If you want to entertain your son's thoughts on this, remaining open to suggestion is great. However, this is really your decision, not your son's or anyone else's.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-07T20:00:26.620" LastActivityDate="2016-11-07T20:00:26.620" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27724" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-07T19:51:26.740" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with the top voted answers in that there is clearly some strong and compelling reason why she really doesn't want to go to school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Consider that she in in a situation where everything in here life is forcing her to do something that she really really doesn't want to do. This is something that it is not necessarily easy for an adult (living in a modern democracy)  to comprehend fully as while you of course have all sorts of pressures you are rarely actually &lt;strong&gt;forced&lt;/strong&gt; to do anything against your will. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also understand that it may be extremely difficult for her to explain what the problem is. This doesn't reflect on you nor doe sit man that she is being difficult or secretive it is probably just very hard for her to articulate. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that the first thing you should do is to tell her that you realise that she is having problems and tell her that you are &lt;em&gt;unconditionally on her side&lt;/em&gt;. Bear in mind that she may well be aware of expectations you have on her (even if they are in her best interests) and hr problems may be compounded by a sense of disappointing you. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On a practical level one of the best things you can do immediately is to give her some options. Even the sense of having a choice can make a huge difference in this sort of situation.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't expect to find out the root of the problem immediately or even ever but what you can do is give her a sense that she is safe and secure at home and doesn't need to resort to deception is she is scared to go to school. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Personally I would say that if your child really doesn't want to go to school they will benefit more from having your backing in solving whatever problem  there is than just blindly forcing them to attend.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Possible Solutions&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could investigate whether there are any useful structured activities which which she is able to engage in, these might be sports, youth groups (like scouting) or art groups. It would also be worth investigating whether there are any charitable funds which could help support this sort of activity. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Obviously there are legal requirements for ensuring proper education but as there is clearly  a problem with the normal process you need to try to engage with the system and find some solution. There may be some mechanism to at least help and if not you need to find a way to work around it. Here it is important that you stress that you are concerned about her welfare and definitely make the point that you feel that she is not getting adequate support in school and has clear mental health concerns. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22264" LastEditorUserId="22264" LastEditDate="2016-11-08T17:20:41.923" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T17:20:41.923" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27725" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-07T21:11:28.750" Score="1" ViewCount="1999" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have an almost 18-year-old son. He has lived with his narcissistic father for the past 16 years. My son and I had a good relationship until his father packed up our son at the age of 7 (without my or a court's consent - we have joint custody) and moved to Arizona for about 5 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During this time, my narcissistic ex deliberately began, what I feel were tactics or mind games, reassuring me that I was doing the right thing for our son by not fighting for my rights, because our son was happy there. I never expected to slowly be removed from my son's life. I was lucky to see him once a year when they returned to Tennessee to visit my ex's in-laws and his new wife's parents. I was not even the first person to see my son. Me and my family were able to get my son after seeing his father's parents and step mother's family. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a single mother of two more children - his half siblings - an older son and am 11-year-old daughter. My oldest son is very kind to my 17-year-old. Since I raised these two alone on just my income, I couldn't afford to visit him. My son left Tennessee a happy, smiling, loving boy and returned home to Tennessee with his father a stranger to me, he had grown a mustache, his voice was like a man's, he had braces and glasses and we found ourselves looking at each other like strangers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That was 5 years ago. And we just can't seem to get back on track. I know it got bad enough mentally and emotionally for me that I had to unattach or I would have done something to myself. Through past therapy I know how this happened and why and that I should have fought for him. He doesn't act out in a rude way towards me and he's very polite, does great in school - he's an amazing young man. But due to school activities etc. you know being a teen, he never visits. I have to text and call sometimes for 3 months straight before he will respond - it's like me and his siblings here and my family don't exist. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I told him the last time I saw him in July 2016 that I miss him so much and he said &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I don't get people and the whole miss you thing. I don't miss you... I know you're ok mom and where you are and that's enough for me. And that goes for everyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It made me hurt for him that he doesn't feel love, he's just ok. I have written my son a few letters of love and reassured him that none of this broken bond is his fault and that I've loved him everyday of his life. I don't want to just blame his father because it will only hurt him and make him reject me more. Even if his father took actions to alienate me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had no addresses, he has not ever listed me as the mother on school records, he listed his wife - well, now ex wife - and the school board has verified that. &#xA;My ex refers to me by my name and when I reach out to ask him to help me with this, he laughs and says I abandoned our son and he's smart enough to make his own choices. But not when I asked if our son could skype with me or any calls like that was absolutely forbidden, because he isn't allowed to have social media. But my ex has many accounts. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My question is what is the healthiest way I can connect with my son without forcing him or bashing his father or making him feel unloved by me for just accepting all this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24964" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-05-19T19:08:34.053" LastActivityDate="2021-12-03T13:24:48.533" Title="What is the healthiest way to approach my estranged 17-year-old son?" Tags="|teen|communication|co-parenting|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27726" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27727" CreationDate="2016-11-07T21:21:08.537" Score="45" ViewCount="13442" Body="&lt;p&gt;Should I allow my child to make an alternate meal if they do not like anything served at mealtime?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If a child decides that they don't want anything that is served at mealtime should they be allowed to make a sandwich, or should they go without?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am approaching this from trying to encourage eating of healthy foods and trying new foods. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not always able to include something that the child will like in the meal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have searched around but I have not found how anyone else approaches this scenario.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4602" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T12:43:30.457" Title="Should I allow my child to make an alternate meal if they do not like anything served at mealtime?" Tags="|mealtime|" AnswerCount="9" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27727" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-07T22:00:37.723" Score="64" Body="&lt;p&gt;We follow &lt;a href=&quot;http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding approach&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The Division of Responsibility for toddlers through adolescents&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The parent is responsible for what, when, where.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;The child is responsible for how much and whether.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fundamental to parents’ jobs is trusting children to determine how much and whether to eat from what parents provide. When parents do their jobs with feeding, children do their jobs with eating.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While it's straightforward to &lt;em&gt;say&lt;/em&gt; &amp;quot;I pick what to serve, you pick whether to eat it,&amp;quot; in practice it's a bit more complicated sometimes. You note that you aren't always able to include something that the child will like in a particular meal; this is particularly true with new foods, or something they haven't had in a while (tastes change over time!).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In order to still meet basic nutritional needs, &lt;strong&gt;I will allow my kids to make an &amp;quot;alternate&amp;quot; meal if they really dislike everything that is being served&lt;/strong&gt;. The go-to option is a peanut butter sandwich: not terribly exciting, but reasonably nutritious and something they can easily/quickly make themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The main requirement that must be met before they can make a backup sandwich is that they have &lt;em&gt;tasted at least one bite&lt;/em&gt; of &lt;em&gt;everything on the plate&lt;/em&gt;. Just glancing at a new recipe and declaring &amp;quot;BLEAH&amp;quot; will simply default to &amp;quot;you are welcome to choose not to eat&amp;quot; -- I'm not going to force them to clean their plate or even take that single bite.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;hr /&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a couple of tangentially related things we do to minimize rejection of the provided meal, which I wanted to mention -- not directly an answer to your question, but based on comments and other answers I thought it was worth expanding on my answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Foremost is &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/21014/4054&quot;&gt;meal planning&lt;/a&gt;: each weekend we sit down, all five of us, and decide what will be served when. My spouse and I need this to shop for the week, but it's also important for the kids to be included -- this is their chance to declare they &lt;em&gt;absolutely hate those meatballs&lt;/em&gt;, reminding their parents that would be a poor choice. As they've gotten older, preparing a family meal themselves has become part of the repertoire as well (providing valuable skills training in addition to &amp;quot;buy in&amp;quot;).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondarily, we try to plan balanced meals that are somewhat compartmentalized. A &amp;quot;one pot&amp;quot; dinner may be simple, but unless every child likes every component of it, the whole stew may end up being rejected just because it happens to have carrot pieces in it. Keeping the protein, starch, and vegetables moderately separate means that they can reject &lt;em&gt;part&lt;/em&gt; of the meal but eat (and be full/nourished from) the rest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, we try to keep in mind what objections we remember when looking at new recipes. Particularly spicy or salty dishes are a no-go with the middle child, the youngest doesn't like greens, the oldest is a pescatarian and lactose intolerant -- this ends up limiting us, sometimes significantly, but keeping those restrictions in mind reduces the likelihood of a meal being completely rejected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4054" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T12:43:30.457" CommentCount="16" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27728" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-08T00:25:26.810" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is one of those gems of parenting that is rarely conveyed as being as difficult as it actually can be.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have one kid who lives off a handful of items. If you allow her to choose something she &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; eat, she will only list things like ice cream or maybe a bagel if we're lucky. This came about from trying the path of allowing her to choose to not eat what we make. All this ever did was get her in the routine of waking up an hour after bedtime complaining that she's hungry. Good luck trying to explain the logic of that cycle to a kid. I know she gets it. She just knows she can complain and get something else. It drives us insane.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We moved more to a question before dinner - what would you like - and she must agree to one meal with her sister and then we have a huge high maintenance routine of reminding her pretty much every bite. Not forceful, but exhausting - like how does the bread taste? Have you had some of the carrots, etc. If we walk away for a minute, she just goes to sleep at the table or does nothing. Not sure that path works either. We also tried what Erica said in her answer - but having a rule of must try everything once led to blatant claims that it's all yucky even before she tasted it. If they decide ahead that they hate it, don't bother trying to convince them they don't hate it that round.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So basically, I've experienced failure on both passive methods - Let her go without means you will never sleep again. Let her choose another meal means she lives off nothing but peanut butter and honey sandwiches and the occasional carrot or some other non-filling item.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bribery sort of works but builds horrid habits.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the end, this is round 2 for us. our first was exactly the same. After a few years of being able to talk, the first one does a great job eating almost anything we make her and we have only the hope that the second will eventually catch on to that because right now we're right there with you. Stuck in the void of hoping someone has a suggestion that makes a difference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I say it's just time. If you know the nutritional profile of what your child does eat is adequate, which ours barely is, then just go with it. Eventually they tire of the same old things. Eventually, at school or something, they try something and realize other things can be good. Somehow they always broaden. I can think of a lot of picky children but not many older children, at least not so picky it drives their parents nuts. Good luck. I'll be watching this thread for ideas&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13274" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T00:25:26.810" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27729" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27722" CreationDate="2016-11-08T00:26:11.083" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I was raised by a single mother, right from the start.  I have a huge respect for single parents. It is not easy.  When I was very small, my mother washed our clothes in the bathtub.  My father never sent a dime in child support.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I met my father a handful of times.  He didn't know how to relate to children, and sometimes it was awkward, sometimes emotionally painful for me.  I have mixed feelings about him now.  But I'm glad I was able to meet him a few times for myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He was a troubled person, and died when I was 13.  I regret that I wasn't able to know him when I was a little older, since I think he would have had an easier time relating to me if I hadn't been so young those few times we met.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Given your strong feelings -- which are totally understandable -- I suggest you have someone else supervise the visits.  You could ask a friend or relative, or you could arrange for a social worker with the Department of Social Services to do the supervision.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You will need to do some venting through this process, of course.  The whole thing will be better for your son if you are very careful not to do it with him, or even in his hearing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This would be a good time for you to strengthen your support network.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the way, DSS can also help you get child support payments.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T00:26:11.083" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27730" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27725" CreationDate="2016-11-08T00:32:49.093" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Your best bet is to think about him in positive ways, and make yourself available for conversations.  You can send him things that show you are thinking of him, for example a fall collage of leaves, a drawing, a photograph, a funny story about his half-siblings, a funny memory of him when he was little.  Avoid anything that might make you appear needy or smothering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And then be patient.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What might help you be patient is, when you think of him, remember lots and lots of positive things about him.  You gave him a great start in life.  You can be proud of who he has become.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T00:32:49.093" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27732" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-08T02:45:00.117" Score="2" ViewCount="314" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3-year-old girl is really upset about going to our childcare provider. She starts off crying and then she screams, wets her pants, and runs off; it's horrible!&lt;br&gt;&#xA;She starts the night before by asking her mom and me, &quot;Do you have to work tomorrow, Daddy?&quot; I say yes and she starts crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What do I do?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25212" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-02-28T13:38:44.413" LastActivityDate="2019-03-01T00:48:51.493" Title="What to do about my 3-year-old crying and throwing a fit about going to daycare?" Tags="|pre-schooler|crying|tantrums|daycare|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27733" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-08T03:35:51.173" Score="13" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our approach, that has worked with each of our seven kids, is very simple; we make more or less simple meals, always with some veggies. The kids are free to not eat, but no replacement is provided. If they are hungry, they are free to grab fruit from the fridge. Worked fine over the last 18 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7389" LastEditorUserId="7389" LastEditDate="2016-11-08T05:59:41.740" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T05:59:41.740" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27734" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-08T07:49:57.007" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Simple Answer: You shouldn't unless you are sure that this won't become a habit&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you teach your kid that she can get a special treatment, she will try to get special treatment everywhere else as well, ending up as the &quot;spoiled brat&quot; and with serious troubles with other children or later people.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The only way she should be able to get an alternative meal is, when you both know before, that what you make is something she absolutely doesn't like and you negotiated it while planning the meal, that way she will learn to plan ahead and to be active in the process of things, if she wants them to be influenced in her way, not demanding after everything is settled.&#xA;If you negotiate you can also train her to deal with differences by throwing in a view demands from your side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25214" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T07:49:57.007" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27735" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-08T08:28:04.800" Score="-3" Body="&lt;p&gt;not sure if anyone has considered that a parent is legally responsible for the health and well-being of a child under the age of majority (legally a minor), so I think that should rule out the &quot;my way or the highway&quot; approach of not providing something nourishing. in many places, you might be charged with neglect, or something similar, if you elect to fail to provide too many meals on a consistent basis, particularly for younger children that are totally dependent upon you for all meals. another reason that I believe you should take the option of going without completely out of your mind is to avoid causing eating disorders.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;as someone else suggested, I would encourage you to have the child be more involved in the decision making process while trying to maintain an overall healthy diet. if the child is involved, I believe that will provide some positive reinforcement to actually try what is prepared rather than simply reject it out of hand.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;if the child is old enough and mature enough to do so safely, you might entertain the thought of giving them the choice of eating what you made, or making an mututally acceptable substitute themselves. most children will take the path of least resistance rather than go through all the effort of choosing a meal, making it, and cleaning up that their meal made necessary, at least after trying it themselves once or twice. be prepared to be patient in your instruction in meal preparation/cleanup if you put this option on the table (pun intended).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I hope you reach a workable solution to this issue and that my suggestions help you in some way. good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25216" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T08:28:04.800" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27736" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-08T12:48:24.853" Score="12" Body="&lt;p&gt;While many of our friends kept making their kids individual meals after they had moved onto solid food, we deliberately took the opposite approach, giving them exactly what we were having. If they didn't want it they could do without. And they rapidly realised they wanted to eat everything!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This includes Thai, Mexican, Indian, Italian...you name it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And now the incredible difference is that their kids still eat McDonalds and refuse to eat much else, whereas we can take our kids to any restaurant in any country and they will be able to choose local fare.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This approach dramatically reduces the effort required at dinner times (and as we have 3 kids, that is significant) and it gives them an excellent approach to variety and cultural specialities. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the shops they help us choose food for the week, and they will ask for things like haggis pizza, hummus, thai curry etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To summarise - say no. They can eat what you eat or go hungry :-)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-11-08T23:26:13.913" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T23:26:13.913" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27737" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27744" CreationDate="2016-11-08T13:58:54.163" Score="2" ViewCount="1004" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 and half years old. He's very charming, extremely smart, and way more mature than his peers. However, since last year I'm facing this same issue with him at school: While his teachers always compliment his work and state that he is just amazing when it comes to studying, he doesn't have any discipline in class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He talks all the time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He laughs a lot, disturbing his friends.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He doesn't have any respect for the rules, i.e he doesn't care when he should stop talking and listen (or vice versa).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;He doesn't even allow other students to talk in class.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even with the help of his teachers who really tried their best on his behavior, he didn't change. He is like the clown of the class with no respect to his teachers. How should I deal with this?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also, I stay with my parents at the moment and my husband works away from where we stay, so we see him once a week.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25222" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T20:51:36.357" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T20:51:36.357" Title="My 5-year-old son is not disciplined in class" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27738" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-11-08T14:03:11.177" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here's an idea that my wife and I came up with to try and prevent interrupting one another when parenting.  (Although we talk a lot in the evenings and try to agree an approach together ahead of time, it's not possible to predict everything, so disagreements can still happen.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We use an imaginary &quot;baton&quot;, like one used in a &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relay_race&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;relay race&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The person currently in control of the parenting has the baton.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Requesting control&lt;/em&gt;: say I'm helping our child with a task, but things aren't going well.  My wife has an idea – but instead of interrupting me verbally, she catches my eye (out of sight of the child), raises her eyebrows and holds up an open hand, requesting the imaginary baton.  If I agree, I mime handing it to her, and she's free to go ahead with her idea.  If instead I'm thinking &quot;No, I've got this&quot;, I shake my head, she doesn't interrupt, and we talk through the situation later.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Give control&lt;/em&gt;: say I'm helping our child, but I'm getting pretty exasperated and risk losing my temper.  I can catch my wife's eye and hand my hand up, as if offering her the baton.  If she's in a calmer state of mind, she can take it, or shake her head.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This makes it clear to both of us who is making the decisions, so we don't clash, and there's a process for handing over control, with agreement on both sides.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3855" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T14:03:11.177" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27739" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27722" CreationDate="2016-11-08T14:21:18.577" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I did know my father but only when young and I do feel the loss. He has since died, and its too late. There is an understandable fear of letting the genie out of the bottle, especially in the light of his apparent treatment of you and an understandable negative view of it. Teh caring, deserted parent always feels resentful of a weekend-only parent. Someone else that you trust (and your son trusts) should ride shotgun for you on these visits, as a &quot;civiliser&quot;, but also to tell you if you're being too negative. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your son picks up your negativity then he might refuse to meet again and resent it at a future stage if he feels it was detrimental to him. Equally you should squash the whole thing and seek advice if things are (obviously to all) not working.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wasnt very good at being a father to start with, but I'm better now (although still imperfect). Maybe that's true of him also.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25136" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T14:21:18.577" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27743" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-08T16:23:38.260" Score="4" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;We have tried discussing the subject head-on with her, but again she gets evasive and becomes uncommunicative.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously? That's all? You're willing to physically drag your daughter to school and consider uprooting your entire family, but when simply trying to &lt;em&gt;talk to her&lt;/em&gt; you just give up when she doesn't cooperate?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your priorities are messed up here&lt;/strong&gt; (not necessarily your goal priorities, but definitely your action priorities).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Drop everything else right now and do whatever you have to do to get your daughter to trust you!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Because she obviously doesn't, and with good reason, given how much effort you're willing to spend on superficial measures and how little on trying to understand her view. Note: I'm not saying you don't love her or don't have her best interest at heart - but you seem to be approaching the issue in all the wrong ways, and possibly giving her some very wrong impressions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another factor is that at her age she desparately wants to be more independant and may pursue some self-defeating strategies in that regard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I suggest you (or your wife, whoever you think she'll be more likely to open up to) try again to talk to her, and try &lt;em&gt;much harder&lt;/em&gt; this time. You must to convince her of some points:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That you honestly want to understand &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; she doesn't want to got to school and will take whatever she says seriously and not dismiss it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That you will not be angry, belittle her or punish her, no matter what she says.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That you love her and your number one priority in this is to help her be happier - not to keep up appearances or make her conform to expectations.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;That you're willing to let her make her own decisions (within reason) and &lt;em&gt;work together&lt;/em&gt; to solve these problems, not just impose your will on her.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1939" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T16:23:38.260" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27744" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27737" CreationDate="2016-11-08T16:50:38.017" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is a pretty common issue at five, and my five year old son is certainly in the same general class of student as yours: very bright, excellent worker, but not always on his best behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing I'd note is that this is some of the most valuable learning he will do in this age level/grade level.  The first year or two of school, most bright students don't have to expend much efforts learning; the point of the first year or two of schooling is to bring the students all to the same level more or less (so, for example, my son came into school knowing how to read, add, subtract, multiply; many other students need to learn letters and numbers still).  So he probably won't learn much academically, other than filling in the gaps that he didn't have before; even if he came in knowing relatively little, he probably will pick up quickly what's taught and have a lot of brain time free.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What he should be learning mostly is socialization and how to behave in groups/in public/in school.  Socialization aside as that's probably obvious, by nine or ten it's going to be very important that he knows how to sit quietly and listen even when he's bored.  He needs to work out how to deal with the school environment, on his own terms but also on theirs.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first thing you can do is make sure he's set up for success.  Make sure he sleeps enough and eats enough in the morning.  More protein less sugar when possible.  Each kid is different sleep-wise, but he should be getting sufficient sleep preferably such that he wakes up himself; this is our biggest problem as my son doesn't really sleep well and won't go to sleep early enough to be able to get enough sleep. But on days when he does, he has far better days in school.  Do what you can to make sure his body is set up to be able to succeed, first off.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, consistency can be helpful.  One thing that was super helpful for my son was setting up things at home mirroring school: behavior chart, reward chart, even &quot;day of the week&quot; and letter/number charts on the walls.  This helped him feel comfortable at home and at school, and improved his willingness to fit into the school's systems.  Talk to your teacher, ask them how they handle behavior.  Maybe they have a chart where the child moves up/down based on behavior (mine does).  Maybe they have some other system, stars for good behavior, things like that.  See if you can implement something similar at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, talk to your son about how his day went every day.  Don't approach it as a discipline situation: approach it as a learning situation.  He should feel comfortable telling you he had a bad day, and not expect discipline; instead, you should talk to him about the reasons for it, and help him learn how to identify those reasons.  If he had a bad day, ask if he was tired.  Ask if he was hungry.  Ask if he was distracted.  Go through the different things that can cause misbehavior.  Helping him figure out why he's having trouble behaving will help him learn how to behave!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fourth, be positive.  Find the positives wherever you can.  Even if he has 4 bad days in a week, if he has one good day, accentuate that.  Talk to him about it.  Celebrate it.  Start with that baseline, and then say &quot;Okay, one good day this week.  Sounds great.  What can we do to get to two good days next week?&quot;.  Negativity reinforces negative behaviors, while positivity reinforces positive behaviors. It's important your son believe he &lt;em&gt;can&lt;/em&gt; behave well.  Boys in particular at that age often are trained by the school system to believe they cannot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Fifth, work with the schools to do all of the above.  Talk to them about how they handle your son's misbehavior, and see if maybe they can adjust &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; actions to help him succeed.  If the teacher is always negative, your son won't feel good about himself and his chances of success.  She/he needs to be positive sometimes.  They may need to adjust &lt;em&gt;their&lt;/em&gt; baseline, in order for him to feel like he can succeed.  Your son is also not the first child they've had like this, nor is he the worst - I guarantee it.  They may have suggestions for how to help at home, but don't let that keep you from pushing them to do a better job on their side.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sixth, help your son learn how to handle boredness.  He's obviously bright, and with that comes some tendency towards boredness.  I hated it in school when I already understood things the teacher was explaining five or ten minutes longer than I needed to.  Things that can be super helpful:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Fiddle devices.  Things that you can hold in one hand and manipulate in some fashion - think someone twiddling a pen between their fingers, but with something that you can actually move.  I used to play with erasers for example, or even just open/close a retractable pen.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach him how to find more complex ways to solve the problems the teacher is presenting.  If the teacher is teaching some letters or words, teach him to think of similar words, or to think of sentences with that word.  If they're teaching addition, think of adding more complicated numbers.  Not something that will distract him to the point of not learning, but something similar to what the teacher is doing but harder.  This will help him in the long run.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Assuming the teacher is okay with this, tell him to write down things he wants to tell his friend when they come to his mind, in a notebook or something, rather than tell it right away.  Five year olds urgently have to tell everyone everything that comes to mind right away.  If he can write it down, maybe that will help him feel better that he won't forget later.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally, remember that he won't instantly get better, and this is a multi-year process.  Celebrate the small gains, and don't expect him to suddenly be a perfect angel in school.  It's like cleaning a messy room; you don't just snap your fingers and clean it, you have to pick up one thing and then the next.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6524" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T16:50:38.017" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27745" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27499" CreationDate="2016-11-08T17:01:23.267" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Talking is difficult. And often annoying!&lt;/strong&gt; But talking through problems is needed when living with anyone. (Took me many years to learn this! Sometimes also the first conversation is NOT fun. But can be big relief after.) &lt;em&gt;Note: I say this as someone who really prefers not to talk to people especially about personal stuff!!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Discussing on stackexchange(written communication) is good you/we can think about things said more calmly and read what we say before we submit. &lt;strong&gt;Maybe you could show your Dad your question and answers here as a way of opening a difficult conversation?&lt;/strong&gt; (although the tone in the Q at the start is a bit ~uhmm~ anyway :-D it is a GOOD QUESTION!)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was late teenage(~1990) some things my Dad did drove me crazy. But we never talked about it. I stayed quiet, &lt;em&gt;sucked it up&lt;/em&gt;, eventually moved away for school which was a huge relief for me. Now out relationship is good (still not much talking about serious issues! but good). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I have kids now - in fact now one is 18 (and I'm 42). &lt;strong&gt;You cannot have 100% privacy if you are living with other people (us from our kids and vice versa)&lt;/strong&gt;. A room in a house is your space but it's not healthy to have it a no-go area from rest of the family. If our friends come to stay they respect our family, help out, leave us know when they would be coming and going and do not bring inappropriate films/movies/stuff (without checking with us! :-o). Same goes for our family members.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I came across this book when my kids were younger:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/1451663889&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889/&lt;/a&gt; &quot;How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk&quot;. &#xA;&lt;strong&gt;The book is about reading others feelings and simple communication techniques and respect (thinking about how you phrase things).&lt;/strong&gt; I used it for my kids (and my nieces/nephews(and other kids)) AND also used it when dealing with other adults in work and elsewhere! I see the authors also have a book &quot;How to talk so teens will listen and listen so teens will talk&quot;. &#xA;Anyway. That book is very good AND my kids read it and found it good too (it has cartoons and is pretty funny in places). You get the picture. I highly recommend this book as a useful and entertaining read for all ages.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;BBT and pr0n&lt;/strong&gt;&#xA;Not sure how strict your Dad is actually. He has got the wrong idea about Big Bang Theory! Would showing some episodes of that to your family help? Or if he is really strict maybe it would not help!! The characters do say quite sexy or rude things sometimes. My family find it fun - our youngest kid is 10 and some of the stuff causes face palm/cringe! BUT inoffensive. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The internet does have some terrible stuff which really isn't good for anyone (of any age!) to be watching. It can be compelling so I think you might understand why your Dad would be worried about it?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16839" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T17:01:23.267" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27746" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-08T18:23:55.490" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;We decided upon a fairly simple approach based upon our own experiences as children, our beliefs, various observations, study, and discussion. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We taught an expectation of at least trying everything that is served at least once, keeping in mind any previously discovered likes and dislikes. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We also encourage input from the children and make reasonable efforts to work suggestions into the budget and meal plan. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Complaining (excessively) had a potential for negative consequences depending on severity and attitudes. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consequences were explained before they were enforced, not used as a means of enforcing a resolution the immediate situation. In other words, if we establish a new rule, it goes into effect starting 'next time'.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Food that was tried and disliked could be replaced with something available. Replacement choices couldn't interfere with items reserved for future meals (school/work/special occasions, etc).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Replacements needed to fulfill the basic balance of nutrition. Children were allowed to chose any replacements they liked, within the already mentioned restrictions. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There may be a few other points that are escaping my immediate recall, but our philosophy was centered around the concepts of: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;respecting the ability of all people to choose for themselves, even children, while noting that children need a sliding scale of responsibility versus discipline, with regards to capacity for maturity and demonstrated ability to choose well. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;balanced nutritional choices improve health and energy, allowing people to play more and for longer. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't eat if you are not hungry, but time around the table is also social, so everyone joins for family meals. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Snacks are fruits and vegetables. Anything else requires specific and special permission, or a family activity. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24228" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T18:23:55.490" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27747" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-08T18:30:17.820" Score="0" ViewCount="1113" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm having a hard time right now dealing with my son's father. We are both 27 and I met him 2 years ago. I also have an 8-year-old-daughter whose father is not in her life. I raised her on my own and her father told me from the beginning he wasn't going to be around and I accepted that and created a beautiful life with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was 4 months pregnant (with his baby) I found out he had slept with a 16 year old (he was 25 at the time). In Canada (where we live) the age of consent is sadly, 16. I was mortified when I found out, because it goes against everything I know to be morally right. I later then found out that when he was 19 he dated a 15 year old for a couple of years. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When we were together the first time, I left my son and his father together for a weekend. I came back to lots of porn on the computer, which is attached to the TV in the living room. But that's not the most disturbing part; it's the fact that he watches Youtube music videos and gets off to them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, my daughter likes to watch those types of music videos for the music, and it just highly disturbs me to know he gets off to that, and not knowing where my son was when he was doing it is another thing that really bothers me. I also found that he was watching porn on my daughter's iPad, which I pretty much begged him not to do in the beginning as I don't need my daughter seeing such things. He did his best to delete it, but come on, where are his morals? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, his mother did not raise him properly, and he has such a disrespect for women. He likes things done his way, and if it's not done that way he gets mad. When we were together as well he had a problem staring at women (the young ones with barely any clothing on), I brought it up many times and he said he knows he does it and that he will stop and he never did. He would say things like &quot;I was never taught to not stare,&quot; and &quot;it's harder to not stare,&quot; and &quot;I don't even know I'm doing it&quot;. However, he's not abusive in any way towards me or the children. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This relationship left me with zero self confidence but that is besides the point; it's not about our relationship; it's about him and his child's relationship. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My major concern is the fact that he has never gotten help for the way he was raised, the fact that several times he has told me he knows he needs help. He says he doesn't like the person he is, and doesn't want to be that way anymore, but he still hasn't gone to get help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It worries me that he will one day look at my daughter sexually because of his enjoyment of younger girls, and if not my daughter then her friends. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I also fear that our son will learn his ways of disrespecting women and thinking it's ok to take advantage of young girls for his own sexual wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We separated 2 weeks ago. Yesterday he started asking to see the kids. If this goes to court, I can't see a judge taking any of my concerns into consideration as it's all speculation, but I truly do just want my kids to be happy and be raised in a healthy environment.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I in no way want him out of the picture. I want him to be a positive role model for his son, and even though he wants to be in my daughter's life, I have a very hard time with that right now, especially since he has told me twice now that he loves my daughter more than he loves his own son who is now 7 months old. That is not something I enjoyed hearing. He has a massive family too, and I have no family just me and my kids and I just want the best for them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I guess my question is whether or not I should let my kids near him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Am I just being selfish or are my concerns actually legitimate? Because I do truly feel he needs help of some sort to not only become a happier person (he never laughs!) but to become a positive role model to his child that can protect him and show him the right path in life. Any help would be greatly appreciated.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25230" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-04-30T12:19:11.847" LastActivityDate="2018-04-30T12:19:11.847" Title="Can anyone give me advice on my son's father?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27748" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27722" CreationDate="2016-11-08T19:17:29.210" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It is difficult to get past the fact that the father:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Abandoned his son for 11 years&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Wished that he were dead&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my opinion, your son is better off, despite the emotional pain he might be currently experiencing, without a man like this in his life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Still, it seems that the father is showing remorse, but he'll have to address these two things &lt;em&gt;with his son&lt;/em&gt; if there is to be any hope of salvaging a father-son relationship.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that your son is only 11, and there is no need (I recommend against it, in fact) to be as blunt as I am, but these are things that your son needs to know, preferably from his father.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My recommendation is that you discuss these things with the father telling him that he has to &quot;come clean&quot;  before any further visits are allowed.  If he refuses, then you have to tell your son as gently as possible with the understanding that only his father can tell him &quot;why&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Be prepared for the father to deny, perhaps by pre-speculating that the father may have wanted to abort his son due to fear and panic.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25147" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T19:17:29.210" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27750" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27732" CreationDate="2016-11-08T20:48:49.717" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's not a lot of information her about how long she has been going, and whether this has always been the case, but I'll try to answer as best I can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to go with the assumption that this childcare situation is new, and that until recently you and/or her mother have been at home with her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that's the case, then I suspect she is experiencing a lot of separation anxiety.  She's used to being with mom or dad, and I suspect the childcare provider is not well-known to her, so it seems very scary to be left alone.  She might not be able to understand that you're only leaving her for a while, and may be very scared that you're never coming back.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For a child to be upset when her parents leave is quite normal, and is a good sign that she is strongly attached to you, although the reactions you describe do seem a little more extreme than I might expect on average.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are a few things you can try that might help her cope with the separation, tide her over until you return, and help her to understand that you will always be coming back to pick her up.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you haven't already, try to arrange a time that you can be at the childcare location with her.  Either book a morning off work one day, or arrange to go in the evening or on a weekend for a bit.  Spend some time there with the childcare provider and your child, which will hopefully help her to acclimatize to the location and the person, and make it a little less scary.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give her some pictures of you, her mother, and anyone else whom she loves and who makes her feel safe.  If she has a locker or other personal location, let her put them up there so she can see them any time she's feeling alone.  If there is no such location, put them into a book that she can keep in her bag, or arrange with the childcare provider to keep it for her and let her see it whenever she needs.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Write a note for her every morning and put it in her snack/lunch/backpack.  Let the childcare provider know, and ask them to read it to her when she pulls it out.  In the note, reassure her that you love her and miss her, and look forward to seeing her at the end of the day.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;One strategy that can be very powerful is to give her something of yours to hold onto for the day.  It could be a (inexpensive) piece of jewelery, a coin, a favourite book, knickknack, etc.  It should be something of &lt;em&gt;yours&lt;/em&gt;, though, not a random object or one of her own possessions. I would recommend something that is not fragile and not too valuable, since a 3-year-old will not be the best at keeping it safe and may lose/break it.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;The point of this is for her to have something that she can see you value, to help reassure her that you will be coming back (because you'll need to get it back from her).  It also tells her that you value her, because you're trusting her to take care of it for you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When you are dropping her off, keep talking about what you're going to do when the two of you are together again.  It doesn't really matter what you do, and doesn't need to be anything special or out of the ordinary, but focusing on the &quot;together&quot; time helps to bridge the time when you're away and again sends the message that you will be returning to get her.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;For example, &quot;&lt;em&gt;I can't wait until we're at home and we can read stories together!&lt;/em&gt;&quot; or &quot;&lt;em&gt;I'm so excited for the car ride home after I pick you up.  I want to hear all about your day!&lt;/em&gt;&quot;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It might also be worth talking to the childcare provider about how things go after you leave.  I have seen many children that act as if the world is ending when their parents leave, but five minutes later they are happily playing as if nothing has happened.  If that's the case with your daughter, there may not be too much of a problem.  She's just sad to see you go, but is coping and moving on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she remains very upset after you leave, then hopefully the above strategies will help to mitigate that, and she can learn to cope without you while you're at work.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17176" LastActivityDate="2016-11-08T20:48:49.717" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27752" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24345" CreationDate="2016-11-09T04:29:40.510" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I live in the Northeast so winter clothing is something I take very seriously. My daughter is currently in the sixth grade, and has to walk over a half an hour to get to school. Every winter she tried to fight me on winter clothing and every winter I hold firm. The lows have already hit the 30s so we've been having to bundle up. We've been wearing our winter coats, warm boots, scarves, hats, etc. In the winter snowpants are a must for my daughter if she's outside for a long time. I also make her wear her hood up and add several  heavier layers. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She thinks it's cool to be underdressed so naturally shes against all this winter clothing. As long as she lives under my roof I will be making sure she is dressed properly for the cold weather.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25240" LastActivityDate="2016-11-09T04:29:40.510" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27753" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27661" CreationDate="2016-11-09T10:54:33.430" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's not ok. She could choke.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Take away all the marbles until the baby is old enough not to eat them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And for that matter, hunt for other things that could be dangerous, like small lego pieces, and keep them high out of reach and clean up thoroughly after they've been played with.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Really not worth the risk. Unfortunate for your son that he doesn't get to have marbles at home, so talk to him about it and explain it's just a phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="23759" LastActivityDate="2016-11-09T10:54:33.430" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27754" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27747" CreationDate="2016-11-09T11:19:27.463" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Everything you, and the father, do should be in the best interest of the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using porn in itself is not harmful to children&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Using porn in ways that allow children to see either the pornography or the person using the pornography is harmful to children, and the father needs to make some changes to the way he uses pornography. He needs to stop using pornography on devices belonging to the children. He needs to stop using pornography on devices easily accessible by the children. Anyone should see this as a reasonable request that's protective of the children, and if he doesn't it shows he's not protective of the children. Any court would recognise that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He has previously engaged in, I think, criminal offending behaviour. (Sex with a 15 year old while he was 19). He has previously engaged in behaviour that is similar to that offending behaviour (sex with a 16 year old while he was 25). He is currently engaging in behaviour that is similar to that offending behaviour (masturbating to legal videos of young people (If that's what he's doing, it's a bit unsure from your text)). In my opinion you should make a referral to your local child protective social services. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He is currently engaged in abusive behaviour towards you. You need the support of a good domestic abuse organisation. They will help you with the legal stuff, especially with gathering evidence in a safe way about his offending behaviour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to show that you have the children's best interests in mind, and that you are acting to protect the children.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that children have a right to a family life with their parents, and this applies even if the parents are  abusive, although contact will be severely limited and restricted to closely supervised contact in a specialist children's contact centre. I think a court would be more favourable to you if you asked contact to be supervised than if you ask for zero contact.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;None of this is legal advice. You do need to seek legal advice. Stuff I've written might be nonsense in Canada&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user19912" LastActivityDate="2016-11-09T11:19:27.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27756" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27617" CreationDate="2016-11-09T14:37:23.710" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Its sounds awful, but this works. I told my child that Robins are Santa's helpers and that I usually see ours on the way to work. It helped that as I was telling her this, one fluttered onto the fence next to us. I gave it a thumbs up and it fluttered off a moment later. She is careful not to be &lt;strong&gt;too&lt;/strong&gt; naughty these days, but is still a child. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25136" LastActivityDate="2016-11-09T14:37:23.710" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27758" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27769" CreationDate="2016-11-09T20:45:21.020" Score="10" ViewCount="23242" Body="&lt;p&gt;It drives me crazy. Usually when I hold her in my arms, everything goes well if I am standing up and walking around in the house. However, when I sit down (because at some point I get tired), after a few minutes, she starts crying and never stops until I get up and walk again. She is about 6 weeks old.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Notes: I have the habit of often rocking her gently when I hold her while standing up. But I don't think this is the reason because when I sit down, I try to do the same but it is ineffective. It often happens in the evening, before going to bed. Also, I remember one of her older brother (she has two) was doing the same when he was a baby too (and it drove me crazy too).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why can't I just sit down? What can I do to rest my feet?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24471" LastEditorUserId="25360" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T21:05:23.613" LastActivityDate="2017-01-05T10:23:39.640" Title="Why does my baby cry when I hold her while sitting down?" Tags="|newborn|crying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27759" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-09T20:51:56.367" Score="-2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Trying to structure this answer is complicated.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, I firmly believe that children should eat what is cooked at the family meal. but I also believe that it's the parents job to make sure not to cook foods their kids just plain won't eat. So occurrences of &quot;I'm not eating that&quot; should be reduced, and therefor not really be a big huge deal. There are times though when you just have to go with &quot;Eat your damn green beans!&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So this is how I break it down.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With not eating the entire meal, this should be rare, but if it happens, then that's fine. They can go without diner. There is also no desert, and for a while no snacks. When snacking is allowed again it's fruit only, or something simple. The general idea being that they need to eat, but that the fruit should not be a reward for not eating the dinner. This is specially true on &quot;new&quot; foods. Again as a parent you shouldn't be making meals that you know your kids just won't eat, so this really should not happen much. Always follow up &quot;new&quot; meals with tied and true favorites. Again it's a balancing act between &quot;If you don't eat what I make then you don't eat&quot; and the fact that kids actually need to eat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When it's one or two parts of the meal, then it's less about a health issue and more about discipline.  Again you should not be making foods your kids just won't eat. If they don't like beans then don't make them beans. But if the kid is just not eating vegetables, then we fall back to &quot;no desert if you don't clean your plate&quot; and fine but you didn't eat your green beans so your grounded. Then there are no deserts and no snacks till the next meal. This one is tricky. You have to make sure that your kid actually eats the food in question and is just choosing not to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short, it's not ok for a kid to not eat the food he is being given, but it's not ok for the parent to give food that they know the kid just won't eat. There are times when a kid wants chicken wings and will refuse to eat anything else. Well, that's a discipline issue. There are times when a kid just won't eat rice, even though they normally, at least tolerate rice. That's a discipline issue. But if your child despises onions, it's time for you to learn to cook without them. It's not fair to try to force them to eat what they openly despise.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, and this is very important to me, specially with the not eating vegetables, &quot;I'm full&quot;. Unlike our parents, it's not a good idea to force a kid to eat everything you put on their plate. That, as we have learned is a recipe for problems later on. But you do have to watch and make sure that &quot;I'm full&quot; comes after the foods your kids like least and not before. Even if that means, here have some green beans, when your done with that I will give you some rice, and when you finish all the rice you can have some chicken. This is truly the tick of it all. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I usually handle &quot;i'm full&quot; with no desert and no snacks for several hours. This keeps the I'm fulls to times when they really are full. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastActivityDate="2016-11-09T20:51:56.367" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27760" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27726" CreationDate="2016-11-09T22:24:22.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm a retired teacher - I worked with special Education for 15 years. I would like to suggest that since this is for one meal, let the child show you what they want for dinner, it will give you some insight to what they are drawn to, and you then can make more healthy adjustments. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example they may put candy on their plate, some bread and some nuts. Tell them you want to explain that these are more snacking foods not meals, then ask them if they want something sweet like the candy? Yes, of course they do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Show the child some foods that may be a little sweet but are in the meal category and ask them to choose one, such as peanut butter and jelly, salad with a sweet dressing, sweet and sour chicken. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bread is fine, or crackers, croutons etc. as are the nuts. If they choose potato chips, cut up a potato, thin slice and sauté it with some sea salt. What you are doing is confirming the child can choose but must stay in the realm of good foods verses snacking foods, he/she gets the same flavors and textures: sweet, crunchy, soft but in a more healthy way. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You also help them to make right choices. Perhaps you can set one meal a week when you let them choose and as a reward for good choices a nice desert, but one that has health benefits, like apple dipped in dark chocolate. Explain how and why this is good for them. Take the age of the child into consideration with simple explanations for the young child. Let them know this will only be allowed once a week, and must use what is already in the house. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Honor the child's wishes but use wisdom, don't allow them to take control or as they get older it may become a problem. Tell them you are willing to modify one meal a week, explain the word modify to them, kids like to use adult words. This will also lift their self esteem if you do it with love and discipline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25252" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-11-10T09:49:30.100" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T09:49:30.100" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27761" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27701" CreationDate="2016-11-10T10:46:41.403" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;First off, what you are describing is very normal behavior and lots and lots of parents are experiencing the same. That’s why there are so many sleep experts and books. Everyone wants the magic fairy dust to make their baby sleep.  I found &lt;a href=&quot;https://scienceofmom.com/2012/02/06/the-cry-it-out-controversy-and-my-familys-sleep-story/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;this blog post quite helpful&lt;/a&gt;, as it covers all aspects, from sleep deprivation to self-soothing. You basically have two options. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sleep training&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The essence is, that the baby learns to fall asleep on its own. No carrying, no cuddling, no breast-feeding, no rocking. The theory behind it is, that babies (like us adults) wake up at night to check if everything is fine. If they fell asleep nursing, they will be alarmed to find the breast gone when they wake up. Its akin to us falling asleep in bed and waking up on the lawn. Very alarming. &#xA;So after your bedtime routine (always the same) you put the sleepy baby to bed, while it is still awake. This usually involves some crying, because babies don’t like things that are different (again very normal and understandable). At this point there are many ways to go on. The &lt;strong&gt;Ferber method&lt;/strong&gt; or CIO is quite popular. Kim West seems to propose staying with your child. That’s what we did: Singing and talking to the baby, making clear that the bed is &lt;strong&gt;not&lt;/strong&gt; an alarming place to be. But don’t deceive yourself. There will be crying. It is for you to decide, if your baby is ready and if it is really worth it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Doing nothing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Many babies sleep with their parents in close contact and maybe even nurse a gazillion times at night. Many parents are fine with it. Google &lt;strong&gt;Attachment Parenting&lt;/strong&gt;. Every child will leave their parents bed at some point. At around 15-18 months, when your toddler starts understanding words, you can talk to them about sleeping in their bed. When they are about 3 years old, they go through a phase of wanting to be independent. It may not seem like it, but it is all just a phase.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(By the way. My rule of thumb is that after 4:30 nothing matters anymore. At that point the baby or toddler have slept enough and do not easily go back to sleep. They are allowed to come to our bed and I cross my fingers for at least 1 more hour of sleep.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25263" LastEditorUserId="25263" LastEditDate="2016-11-10T13:18:07.993" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T13:18:07.993" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27762" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27758" CreationDate="2016-11-10T11:03:04.560" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Use a wrap or baby sling and take turns with daddy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you feel that something is wrong please consult a doctor. Babies can have many problems: acid reflux, tensions, tummyaches or just feeling fussy before bedtime. Are you sure she isn't hungry? Maybe you've hit the jack-pot and have a baby with a mild case of &lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_colic&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot; title=&quot;baby colic or three month colic&quot;&gt;baby colic or three month colic&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25263" LastEditorUserId="25263" LastEditDate="2016-11-10T11:24:31.953" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T11:24:31.953" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27763" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27627" CreationDate="2016-11-10T15:22:38.967" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd suggest you step back and take a look at the examples you gave.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;1) Was there something that your husband was doing that caused your child physical or emotional pain?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;2) Was your husband doing something that was wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;3) Was your husband doing something that you even disagreed with?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;4) Was your child acting out to manipulate and control your behavior?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Yes, he should have fixed the shoes when they weren't on completely right, but part of his resistance is that you intervene all the time.  Probably, if you did not do so, then on the occasions where something is off, he will not react defensively.  Realize that fathers are as much parents as mothers, and being one vs the other does not automatically make one more likely to be right or wrong.  Take each situation on its own merit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You wanted your husband to feed your child, and get him ready for school.  He was doing so.  He was doing so in the exact same way you were going to do so when your child started crying.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child has learned that by acting out, he can demand and control your attention whenever he wants.  You are encouraging and enabling that behavior.  In other words, you are spoiling your child and allowing him to manipulate your behavior. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not a conscious &quot;I'm a wicked child and I'm in charge&quot; thing.  Children, like everyone else, want attention.  And what attention could be better than attention from a loving mom?  Like everyone else, they prefer control.  However, they are children and need to be not indulged at their whims, just for the sake of their whims.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I understand from the earlier post that your husband tends to want to allow your child to even encounter and deal with even physical pain to &quot;toughen him up,&quot; and I'd agree that parents have to have boundaries in their parenting behavior, as well, so I'm not siding with him, as a blanket statement.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sitting with the child to indulge demands for attention, alone, does not fall under that category, though.  What it tough for parents to eventually learn is that children cry, often quite easily.  I've seen kids who fake cry to get attention, very obviously, and when it doesn't work for them, they can shut the fake-crying off, as they started it, like a faucet, and go about their business of playing with the other kids.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you are genetically wired to be distressed by this, as an adult, you need to override your instincts and realize, with your rational brain, that not all cries are actual distress that need intervention, and that it's okay for kids to cry or work out the distress.  It's part of the growing process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T15:22:38.967" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27764" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27758" CreationDate="2016-11-10T15:33:04.813" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;We had a very tough baby girl who would do the same thing. She was colicky, and we eventually figured out she had a dairy intolerance as well (to milk that mom drank). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We ended up bouncing on an exercise ball with her to give us a break from walking/standing. It's brutal in its own way - you will find core muscles you never knew existed - but it's at least not walking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And know that it does eventually go away. I remember gently bouncing on the exercise ball for 4 hour stretches. Now I have a happy, giggly, joyful 15 month old. So it gets better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="18898" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T15:33:04.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27765" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27661" CreationDate="2016-11-10T15:35:57.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;The choking hazard is very, very serious.  If your older son with the marbles can't alter his behavior and not leave marbles about, you need to take them away from him until the baby is old enough to not eat them, or he is old enough to be more diligent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24049" LastActivityDate="2016-11-10T15:35:57.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27766" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-11T00:25:46.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;TL;DR; You must make your daughter understand that you love her, you are on her side, she need not fear punishment from you, and you'll do anything to make this right for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am so sorry to hear of your problem.  I wish I could have stood at your side to hug you and dry your eyes.  (Right now, I need to dry my own eyes to answer your question.)  The pain you feel must be awful, but the alternative to feeling that pain is even worse.  The alternative to feeling that pain is to be apathetic.  The pain tells me that you love your daughter so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My child is not yet old enough for school, but I had a chance encounter with another father recently who had a son about your daughter's age with some sort of autistic spectrum disorder.  This boy was having some issues at school, and his father's eventual solution was homeschooling. (not saying that's necessarily what your daughter needs)  He admitted to me that as his son grew up, he insisted that he behave like other children, and he used punishment.  He said that the day eventually came that he realized he was punishing his son for things he couldn't control, and it was a terribly painful realization.  Good!  The pain he feels reflects his love for his boy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You present your daughter's school refusal as a problem to solve.  The real problem is whatever is causing your daughter to refuse school.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To quote the well-known US paediatrician William Sears, &quot;The child who feels right, acts right.&quot;  Look at your daughter's behavior.  You had to physically coerce her to go to school in a way that you obviously regret doing.  Your daughter obviously feels very wrong about school.  Your puzzle is to discover the reasons why.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are 18 other answers as I write this, and the word &quot;empathy&quot; is completely absent from all of them.  The word &quot;love&quot; appears only once, and the answer it appears in was downvoted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I urge you, imagine yourself stepping into your daughter's shoes.  Imagine yourself seeing the world thru her eyes.  What does she see?  What does she feel?  Why?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think that the other answers are on point to suggest that there could be some medical or psychological issue causing her to not get along well at school such as ASD, OCD, gender dysphoria, ADHD, or many others.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe the problem is abuse by other children or even by the school staff.  Please bear in mind that oftentimes, when a child suffers abuse, the child is manipulated by the abuser to feel that she deserves what happens to her, sometimes to the point of even denying that the abuse exists.  The school's evasiveness and threatening you with jail do sound like a red flag.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Others here have suggested that she might open up to a doctor or therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't know what sort of parenting style you use, but I do know that many, if not most parents use coercive punishments to try to shape their children's behavior.  Especially if that describes your parenting, your daughter may fear making you angry and receiving punishment if she tells you what's really on her mind.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't claim to be an expert, but here's what I think I might say to my daughter in this circumstance. (I'm pretending that her name is &quot;Sue&quot;)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;Sue, we have a serious issue, and Mommy and Daddy don't know what the problem is.  You see, having to drag you to the school bus tore my heart all to pieces.  I was crying for hours afterwards.  Maybe you think that I don't love you anymore because I'm making you do something you hate so much.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But Sue, I love you dearly and want what's best for you.  I need you to know, Sue, that Mommy and Daddy are on your side.  We need you to tell us why you refuse to go to school.  We promise to you that you are safe to tell us the truth, no matter what it is, even if you think that the truth will make us sad and angry.  We promise not to hit you or punish you or try to make you feel ashamed.  If there is some adult or other student at your school who is threatening you, we promise to protect you from them, even if we have to keep you home.  If there is something you feel not right about, no matter how stupid you might expect us to think it is, we need you to tell us.  We will try to see it thru your eyes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sue, we need you to talk to us about this because we can't help if you won't talk to us.  We can tell that you are as unhappy with this as we are, and every day you refuse to talk to us about it is another day you have to live with it.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm going to go get a tissue now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastEditorUserId="3629" LastEditDate="2016-11-11T00:35:36.810" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T00:35:36.810" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27767" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27646" CreationDate="2016-11-11T10:49:00.180" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;i have signs of autism and I still got a degree in Law. Dont let it put you off trying. The more you intervene and assist, the better the adult outcome. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you start teaching sign language (BSL or ASL), that's what kick started our speech delayed child. By the time she saw the speech and language therapist, she had not only caught up, but  actually overtaken where she should be, and didnt need SALT. She's only 30 months but today said to me &quot;where are the pet treats, so can give few to sugargliders&quot; - ok she missed &quot;I&quot; and &quot;(a)&quot; from &quot;few&quot; but far far ahead of where a 30 month old typically is. Reduces frustation too, as they can then communicate and be understood. Yo'd be amazed how quick they learn it. Ours was learning three or four signs &lt;em&gt;each day.&lt;/em&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25136" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T10:49:00.180" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27768" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-11T16:15:30.963" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Though this has been answered I will tell you what worked for me as the teen when I was in high school, and what it was like for me. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a very rough time in High School. Not because of bullies or some such but because the entire system was more about grinding you down into conformity then educating you. I had been thought the same things, the same lessons, some times verbatim, in most subjects. It was like 8 hours of mind numbing tedium every day. When I did have a subject that I was interested in or excelled at the school either didn't offer it again, or wouldn't let you take it. And I don't just mean optional classes. I loved history, specifically European late medieval history. However that subject was no more then a week long in &quot;World History&quot;. There was a &quot;creative writing&quot; class that I truly enjoyed, and I hate English as a subject, but it only lasted 9 weeks, then I was not allowed to take it again.  All in all the class load was such that going to school was really just a horrid experience. A true internal fight between doing what was right (going to classes) and doing what I thought was better (skipping school and going to the public library). &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What it created,in my mind, was a set of people (teachers and administrators) that I had to basically &quot;put up with&quot; while at the same time feeling like a moo cow being herded though a milking carousel. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From the outside, parents and other concerned adults thought it was a bulling problem, or that something &quot;really wrong&quot; had happened because by 10th grade you could not get me to go to school. You could drop me off, walk me into class, and the first chance I would get I would just leave. But I could not express why. If I said the classes were wrong or uninteresting, no one paid attention to that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The fix, was for me to &quot;drop out&quot; of high school. My grandfather withdrew me from school. Did the whole, &quot;Well if your not going to go I can't make you.&quot; route. Then proceeded to encourage and require that I follow my education outside school. If I wanted to lean about X then off it was to find someone that could teach about X. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After about a year of this kind of education, I was well informed in how to use resources outside of school to further my education. At the same time, I learned that the high school diploma wasn't as valuable as it had been made out to be, but that I probably still wanted one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As the next school semester started, we approached the school district (this would have been the second half of 11th grade)  and laid out the facts for them. I was a good learner, but I didn't do well if they couldn't offer anything to teach.  Making me learn the same match skills 4 years in a row isn't going to work, but here I can do basic and complex math. It took some effort, but we convinced the school district (not any one school) to allow me to take night classes at my own pace to make up for the core classes I didn't have or had previously failed. This means I took classes from 9th, 10th, and 11th grade at night for a semester &quot;passing&quot; high school in about 18 weeks. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With the core classes out of the way, they wanted me to take a GED, just to make sure I was actually able to. So I did and got a perfect score.   I did 12th grade in school, but with the oddest schedule anyone had ever seen. I requested 1 English class, cause I suck at it, and they required me to take several electives, because you can't take those at night.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I Graduated on time, when on to collage, blah blah blah, generally a success. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now the reason why I tell you this really long story, is because your daughter may be in a similar situation. Not everyone is going to do so well with the conformity factory schools have become. Add in bullies, and the increasing amount of stress (in all my life I have never been so stressed as in High School), and you have a really emotionally negative situation for some kids. Essentially the entire system is working against them, and they don't know how to express that, because it is literally the entire system. TV shows, movies, media, ads, parents, friends, churches, doctors, literally every single person a teen looks up to is in on the system and pushing for the same goal. And there they are (the teen), just waning something, anything different. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now you say your in the UK, so I don't know what you can do. But is there a way you can give your daughter a break? Can you withdraw her from school for a short while? Is there a way she can experience  life out side of school? Can she direct her education on her own for a while? Is there any way you can provide her a break, a rest, or retreat from High School. Even for a year. Even if she falls behind. It could make all the difference in the world. Even if it's her changing body and hormones that have her tied in knots, a year from now, that will be in a totally different place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A year, or even a semester, can make a huge difference, and it can give you time to rebuild any damage this has cause at home. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21454" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T16:15:30.963" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27769" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27758" CreationDate="2016-11-11T18:01:52.573" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;Why? Babies have evolved that way. Not just human babies, infants behave the same way across the animal kingdom:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here we show a novel set of infant cooperative responses during maternal carrying. Infants under 6 months of age carried by a walking mother immediately stopped voluntary movement and crying and exhibited a rapid heart rate decrease, compared with holding by a sitting mother. Furthermore, we identified strikingly similar responses in mouse pups as defined by immobility and diminished ultrasonic vocalizations and heart rate. Using pharmacologic and genetic interventions in mouse pups, we identified the upstream and downstream neural systems regulating the calming response. Somatosensory and proprioceptive input signaling are required for induction, and parasympathetic and cerebellar functions mediate cardiac and motor output, respectively. The loss of the calming response hindered maternal rescue of the pups, suggesting a functional significance for the identified calming response.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Conclusions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Our study has demonstrated for the first time that the infant calming response to maternal carrying is a coordinated set of central, motor, and cardiac regulations and is a conserved component of mammalian mother-infant interactions. Our findings provide evidence for and have the potential to impact current parenting theory and practice, since unsoothable crying is the major risk factor for child abuse.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Infant Calming Responses during Maternal Carrying in Humans and Mice&lt;/em&gt;, Esposito, Gianluca et al. &lt;strong&gt;Current Biology&lt;/strong&gt; , Volume 23 , Issue 9 , 739 - 745 &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cell.com/current-biology/abstract/S0960-9822%2813%2900343-6&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cell.com/current-biology/abstract/S0960-9822%2813%2900343-6&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In short babies have a hardwired physical response to being rocked (which is essentially a stand-in for being carried while walking). This should not be altogether surprising, it makes good evolutionary sense: babies are safest when they are being carried in some ones arms as this means they are actively being cared.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Furthermore this response carries into adulthood:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Why do we cradle babies or irresistibly fall asleep in a hammock? Although such simple behaviors are common across cultures and generations, the nature of the link between rocking and sleep is poorly understood [1, 2]. Here we aimed to demonstrate that swinging can modulate physiological parameters of human sleep. To this end, we chose to study sleep during an afternoon nap using polysomnography and EEG spectral analyses. We show that lying on a slowly rocking bed (0.25 Hz) facilitates the transition from waking to sleep, and increases the duration of stage N2 sleep. Rocking also induces a sustained boosting of slow oscillations and spindle activity. It is proposed that sensory stimulation associated with a swinging motion exerts a synchronizing action in the brain that reinforces endogenous sleep rhythms. These results thus provide scientific support to the traditional belief that rocking can soothe our sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Rocking synchronizes brain waves during a short nap&lt;/em&gt;, Bayer, Laurence et al. &lt;strong&gt;Current Biology&lt;/strong&gt; , Volume 21 , Issue 12 , R461 - R462 &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(11)00539-2&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(11)00539-2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(This study was carried on adult male volunteers).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What to do about it? Baby wearing, especially in a sling, was invaluable in my experience, you might also find a rocking chair useful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here are a couple of links to articles describing the research above (the full papers are also available as PDF's if you want to really dig into the science.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2013/04/how-rocking-baby-mouth-carrying-mouse-pup&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2013/04/how-rocking-baby-mouth-carrying-mouse-pup&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201304/the-neuroscience-calming-baby&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201304/the-neuroscience-calming-baby&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-michael-j-breus/rocking-to-sleep_b_890553.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-michael-j-breus/rocking-to-sleep_b_890553.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Theese guides to infant sleep might also be helpful:&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-sleep-patterns.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-sleep-patterns.html&lt;/a&gt;&#xA;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-sleep-problems.html&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-sleep-problems.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Finally its also worth remembering that your baby might still have her pre-natal sleep patterns still, at this stage, though this will change very soon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have my sympathies, I spent many hours, when my daughter was your age, walking her around outside, in below freezing temperatures, to get her to sleep. You are right in the middle of what is likely to be the hardest time for sleep, but it is going to get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3270" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-11-11T18:01:52.573" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27772" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-12T02:36:49.257" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Simple:   change the environment, ie, change school.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Analogy:   if I go to work, and my boss is all the time criticising me, for outrageous reasons, which I did have one before, and there is nothing wrong with me - emotionally, ethically etc, I tender my resignation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There after I had a much happier life:   everyone is mutually respectful of one another, and not playing politics with one another (to a tolerable extent).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A child is often vulnerable and innocent, but some are not, due to individual parental upbringing.   A child's fault, if there is any, is likely to arise from his parental upbringing as well.   So other kids' behavior we can't change, but try changing the school or environment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But beware:    in a different school, you are likely to same problems happening again, so be prepared to devise alternative solutions for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17168" LastActivityDate="2016-11-12T02:36:49.257" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27774" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27747" CreationDate="2016-11-12T05:07:58.043" Score="-4" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Set up a child safety filter on the iPad and the desktop computer that's connected to the TV.  This will protect your children from your estranged partner's behavior, and it will also protect your children from landing at an unexpected site by accident (which can happen all too easily).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;The relationship he had with the 15yo when he was 19, and the 16yo when he was 26, have nothing to do, objectively, with the present, and have nothing to do with your 8yo daughter.  Those relationships are yesterday's news.  However, thinking about those relationships is making you feel anxious.  Anxiety is a very real thing.  I would recommend that you start with an appointment with your primary care doctor and telling him or her that you have a tendency toward feeling anxious.  Your doctor may want to discuss some medications that might help you, and may refer you to a good therapist.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't know how it works in Canada, but in the U.S. there is a government agency that can supervise non-custodial visitation, if there is cause for concern.  I would think there would be something similar in Canada.  In the meantime, is there someone reliable who would be willing to be present for the visits?  Perhaps one of his relatives, someone you trust and respect?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If not, then I suggest you start with short visits (2 hours at a time), so he can build up his reliability and you can build up your trust and confidence. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The ogling and gawking are rather rude, but isn't it better to ogle and fantasize, than to act on those fantasies?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Pornography on the internet is a sad fact of modern life.  Please don't take it personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-12T05:07:58.043" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27775" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27737" CreationDate="2016-11-12T05:25:31.423" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you talked this over with his doctor?  That would probably be a good place to start.  It's possible your son is neurologically a bit different from the average boy his age, in terms of his ability to inhibit his impulses.  This is nothing to worry about or be alarmed about, but it can be helpful to know that this is the case (if it is the case, that is), because once you know, then you can start to learn special techniques for coping and for helping your son progress in his ability to self-regulate.  My son is such a case.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You could also ask the school for more support.  I'm not sure what country you're in.  Are you in the U.S., by any chance?  Here, you could ask for special education, which would mean that a behavior specialist would observe and then work with the teacher to give her special techniques to use with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime... with a live wire like your son, it can be helpful to get the child involved in physical activity, and also music (if he likes music).  My son, who is a live wire too, finds music very centering.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, please don't allow yourself to blame yourself, your family situation, or your son for the way he's wired.  Try to enjoy each other's company as much as you can, and accept him for the unique individual he is.  I will tell you frankly that that is the one thing that has helped us more than anything else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-12T05:25:31.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27776" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27747" CreationDate="2016-11-12T06:38:26.497" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;The other answers are rather good, so I will not repeat what they've said.  I will only add that I believe you are right to be concerned for your daughter.  Unfortunately there have been cases where a predator targets a single mother with a young daughter in order to gain access to said daughter.  I say this with hesitation because I do not know the entire story -- only you know whether the signs are there.  Some of what you have mentioned (i.e., him watching porn on YOUR daughter's iPod where she could have easily stumbled upon it, and the fact that he has shown interest in adolescent girls in the past) are definite red flags.  Do not feel guilty about protecting your daughter.  You need to listen to your gut on this one, and seek child welfare services in your area for their advice.  Do not hold back anything from them or the judge - even if you think it might be trivial.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25200" LastActivityDate="2016-11-12T06:38:26.497" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27777" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="6579" CreationDate="2016-11-12T15:41:17.970" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I struggled with this for a while. I was then at my coworking space and noticed their sign above the toilet 'Our pipes are sensitive, please only flush pee-pee and poo-poo in the toilet'. It was clever, caught my attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Would that work for my kids at home?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I sat down with my kids and we created our own bathroom signs. So far we're turd free at our house.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25291" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-11-12T17:01:02.837" LastActivityDate="2016-11-12T17:01:02.837" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27781" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27737" CreationDate="2016-11-13T23:25:32.320" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Although I agree with some practical tips from the accepted answer, I would contradict it in one fundamental way. I do not think that boredom needs to be accepted as a given at all. If you accept that he will be bored and then find all kinds of extrinsic factors to make him comply with boredom and perhaps see it a little less untenable than he otherwise would, you are making sure that he will never develop any intrinsic motivation. You will either end up with an adult who hates to work, drags his feet at every step and never lives up to his potential (in case he complies) or with a rebel who fell out of the system because he hated it too much (if he does not comply).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How would you as an adult like it to be doing only super easy tasks and then being forced to remain calm and do nothing once you finish early. For an energetic child, this situation is even more unbearable than for an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You need to find ways (in school, at home and/or through sports and other leisure activities) to really challenge him. Once he finds something he is passionate about, let him advance as fast as he can regardless of how it compares to other children the same age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25049" LastEditorUserId="25049" LastEditDate="2016-11-14T04:01:28.373" LastActivityDate="2016-11-14T04:01:28.373" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27782" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-14T07:06:32.520" Score="2" ViewCount="632" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 7 month newborn son recently started teething. Lately it's gotten pretty bad ... to the point where he gets worked up in what seems like mini-anxiety attacks and has a unique cry. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;During the day, it doesn't seem as bad if we take him for walks or play. I suspect that's because he has more opportunities to be distracted.  At nighttime though,  it seems worse.  We've tried things like teethers, pacifiers, a cold/frozen rag, etc but at times he just doesn't want anything in his mouth.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Any suggestions for how to help a teething baby under these circumstances and still maintain sanity? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20899" LastActivityDate="2016-11-16T00:11:49.513" Title="How can I soothe a teething baby that doesn't want anything put in his mouth?" Tags="|infant|teething|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27783" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-14T07:12:27.747" Score="4" ViewCount="9734" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 3 year old son has been throwing things when he gets mad at people.&#xA;He basically needs a way to express his anger...&#xA;How do I handle this? How do I discipline him?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="1922" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T20:51:10.217" LastActivityDate="2017-12-13T01:03:57.387" Title="Child throws things...how to handle it?" Tags="|discipline|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27784" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27725" CreationDate="2016-11-14T09:43:04.367" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;First I would like to say I'm sorry that you are in this situation Christina, and I wish you and your family all the happiness. Concerning your eldest and his estrangement, I think that it is quite natural for him to feel that he doesn't need you. He spent many years way from you and in the care of another 'mother'. Also your views on your husband carry a sense of residual anger or disappointment from many years ago. Maybe that shows when your with him. Whether your ex is really a narc or not, that is for him to realise and deal with. What I mean is, do not judge him when you have your own faults too. The worst thing to do is criticise his father (when you have those brief moments together) when he might think the world of him. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think your son is growing and maturing. His moods are changing, his perspective is equally changing as he grows older. He's feeling independent and he's doing real good in school so perhaps it's the wrong time to be throwing emotional bombs at him. Basically learn to be really patient. You need to wait it out and sometimes it will feel like you're not doing enough but believe me, if you just keep it happy and civil when you meet him. It will bring him around eventually. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There will be a time as he gets older, when he will reflect on his childhood and will get the urge to call you up out of the blue, to tell you he loves you or misses you and even ask about his half-siblings. But he might first call to confront you with how you let him go so easily, etc... . The most important part of this confrontation is to listen, to be honest, balanced and caring in your responses. After all what you did may seem, the wrong thing to do, to him or others. You let them just walk out and move away without standing up to protect your relationship with your son. That was your instinct, that was your judgement. You thought it was for the best. What happened over the next few years, as a result, is not your fault too, so be honest about it.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm sure he has a big heart, so always remember and accept the fact that he could love his dad too and his stepmom too and her family, along with you and his half-siblings. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All the best.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25306" LastEditorUserId="25306" LastEditDate="2016-11-14T10:01:43.730" LastActivityDate="2016-11-14T10:01:43.730" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27785" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-14T12:44:48.847" Score="3" ViewCount="309" Body="&lt;p&gt;Before Daylight Saving Time ended, my two year old would sleep until about 7:45 - 8:00 AM.  This worked well for my wife's and mine morning schedule.  However, since Daylight Saving Time ended a week ago (the &quot;fall back&quot; version) my toddler regularly awakens at 7:00 - 7:15 AM despite adjusting quite quickly to the proper going to sleep time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This earlier waking time does not jive well with the morning schedule my wife and I had created, and usually makes me later getting out the door than I was previously.  How can we help our toddler have the same sleep schedule (specifically sleep for the same number of hours) as before Daylight Saving Time ended?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Previously my toddler, after awaking, would usually lay in bed quite contented for some time, either talking to himself or quietly calling for one of his parents.  Now after awaking he transitions directly to wanting to be out of bed and starts calling quite strongly for one of us to get him out of bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Since Daylight Saving Time ended, there was one night we kept our son up about an hour past his normal bed time (he didn't seem tired yet) and then another time when he didn't fall asleep for about an hour and a half after being put to bed (when normally he falls asleep pretty fast).  Both these times I thought would &quot;kickstart&quot; his morning wake up time to be more like what it was before Daylight Saving Time ended, but he woke up at 7:00-7:15 just like before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13340" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-15T02:52:32.130" LastActivityDate="2016-11-26T11:32:29.610" Title="How to get kid to sleep to previous normal time after Daylight Saving Time ends?" Tags="|sleep|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27786" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27783" CreationDate="2016-11-14T18:24:50.870" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I recall correctly, we used a combination of allowing a pillow in the bedroom to be thrown and time-out.. Sometimes, especially with younger ones, a physical outlet is needed, hence the pillow-rule. (Remember to remove wall hanging, lamps, and other objects which could be damaged or broken even with a pillow. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When out in public, we would return to our vehicle or go to a more private area to let them calm down while having to sit or stay inside a specified area - a virtual time-out, so to speak. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;On occasion, we would simply cut our planned activities short and return home if they were really intractable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If they calmed down, we talked it out. We found it was critical to allow them to express themselves, even if what they were saying was not necessarily factually correct. It is more important to address the source of anger, than it is to correct inaccuracies, at that point. Maintaining a calm pleasant tone, facial expression, and body language was also very important tools in assisting a youngling in coming down from an angry place. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24228" LastActivityDate="2016-11-14T18:24:50.870" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27787" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="1075" CreationDate="2016-11-14T19:48:09.517" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;HELL YES&lt;/strong&gt;, denying your child anaesthetic is very cruel.  I could never do that to my daughter.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will not teach your child that poor dental hygiene causes pain.  This will teach your child that Mom and Dad will let her experience unnecessary pain and not do anything about it, and it will teach your child that going to the dentist is painful, to boot!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would also add that I've come to believe that the fear of the influence of drugs on our children is blown way out of proportion.  I have a friend in meatspace who suffered from hard drug abuse for years.  He tells me that people do not typically abuse drugs just for enjoyment.  He says that there is an underlying something that they are trying to get away from.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would suggest that so long as you see to it that your daughter's needs are being met and she feels loved and accepted by you, she will not feel compelled to turn to drug abuse to feel better about herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-14T20:10:33.587" LastActivityDate="2016-11-14T20:10:33.587" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27788" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27758" CreationDate="2016-11-14T19:55:59.560" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Using a sling is highly recommended by the renowned paediatrician William Sears.  It makes the carrying a lot easier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My limited understanding here is that especially as newborns, babies are used to the motion of being walking around, and being carried in a sling reproduces that comforting feeling for the baby.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sears also wrote that babies vary widely in their need to be constantly carried and fed.  My little one demanded almost constant carrying for the first months of her life, but it was a phase she grew out of relatively quickly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3629" LastActivityDate="2016-11-14T19:55:59.560" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27790" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27665" CreationDate="2016-11-14T21:58:29.733" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To the already excellent answers on how to deal with your daughter, i would like to add that the school is totally failing her and your familly. &#xA;Your child is in their care, she has serious problems at the school and all they can offer are threats? They cannot even be arsed to sort out the locker thing? Really?!&#xA;They have to start understanding that this is a huge problem for your daughter, for you and also a risk for them as school. Their failure could lead to anything from sanctions from the authorities to bad press, so they really should start doing their job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At the very least they should answer straightforward questions like who is using your daughters locker and who of the school staff has failed to act on this. This in turn may give you clues on what is &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting them to cooperate in trying to find out what is happening may actually benefit your relationship with your child by showing her that you are on her side. When i was her age i had a tiny run in with the school, but my dad sorted it out and it still makes me smile:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There was a party and to avoid outsiders gatecrashing it, when a kid bought a ticket their name would be crossed off the list. An older girl bought a ticket in my name and also spread the rumour that i allowed this. The school said there was nothing they could do about it.&#xA;When my dad went to school to sort it out he accidentally stumbeled into the principals office without knocking. The latter somehow misinterpreted this, got al defensive and apologised profusely while cautiously backing up. (My dad is a very nice an sociable guy, but sometimes a but clumsy). Needless to say, i got a ticket to go to the party.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7062" LastActivityDate="2016-11-14T21:58:29.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27791" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27783" CreationDate="2016-11-14T22:54:33.793" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;It can take a fair amount of effort on the parent's part -- but it is worth it!  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might not need to do &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; these things, but I want to give you as many ideas as I can think of, so here goes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read books together that model getting angry without being destructive, e.g. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/386421.I_Was_So_Mad&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/386421.I_Was_So_Mad&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Model, in your day-to-day life, getting angry without being destructive.  You are allowed to set some of these up and you may ham it up if you like.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tell a little anecdote about your day over dinner, in front of your 3yo, about an incident you had where you were angry, and casually mention what you did with your anger, for example, &quot;and then I walked away,&quot; or &quot;and then I went to the park and kicked the soccer ball all around the park as hard as I could, thinking about that gosh darn grocery clerk, and how stupid she was!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide lots of opportunities for that kind of physical venting; you may even model for your child, as you are kicking the ball, &quot;Take that, stupid brother!  That'll teach you not to take my special toy!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Try to anticipate the throw before it happens.  If you have to, wrap your arms around your child from the back.  Afterwards, tell him how proud you are of him for controlling himself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Whenever he manages to control himself without you having intervened, that is really cause for praise!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't forget to brag about his great self-control to other people, but in his hearing, after he has a success.  (I got this idea from Faber and Mazlish, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/769016.How_to_Talk_So_Kids_Will_Listen_Listen_So_Kids_Will_Talk?ac=1&amp;amp;from_search=true&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/769016.How_to_Talk_So_Kids_Will_Listen_Listen_So_Kids_Will_Talk?ac=1&amp;amp;from_search=true&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don't recommend allowing the child to throw ANYTHING when angry.  He needs to imprint a different set of body movements onto the feeling of anger.  Some possible alternatives: lie on the bed and kick and pound your fists.  Whack a pillow on the bed.  You may model these to show your child what it looks like.  But I would not do this when you are actually feeling angry, because that could be frightening for your child.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;When a mishap occurs, and your child throws something, here's how you can react:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If something or someone got hurt, model the apology.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If nothing was damaged, and no one got hurt, explain, &quot;It's not good to throw things in the house, because someone might get hurt!&quot;  It can be helpful to bring out the child's favorite stuffed animal at this point, to trigger warm, protective feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Jot down in a simple diary (notebook or whatever) some basic facts about each incident, for example, time of day, whether child was hungry, location, anything else that might help you discover patterns, to make anticipation and prevention easier.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okey doke, that's what I could think of.  You probably won't need to do all of those!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-14T22:54:33.793" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27793" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="24040" CreationDate="2016-11-15T01:04:48.217" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;To alleviate her fears, you can first explain to her that what people want and what they get is not the same. She knows that from her own experience. You can give her examples of things that you want and that you don't get. What Mr. Trump wants and what Mr. Trump gets are not the same thing. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can explain to her that there are laws in place that will protect her friends. And that that these laws keep anyone, including the president of the USA, from just doing whatever he wants. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And last, you can tell her that as she gets older, she will be able to tell people what she thinks about matters, and eventually she will be old enough so that people listen to her. And then she needs to tell people how nasty it is to want to deport people who haven't done anything wrong. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11151" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-15T02:43:12.813" LastActivityDate="2016-11-15T02:43:12.813" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27794" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-15T15:27:19.320" Score="5" ViewCount="2186" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 5-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son. My daughter is normally a sweet, passionate, and loving child. There are no problems in school at all.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lately, she has started being violent physically and verbally to me when she gets reprimanded or put in time out. I put her in her room and she proceeds to hit the door and scream at the top of her lungs. I have been making the mistake of going in there when she does this. Last night, she said she wanted to kill me. She hits herself in the head (lightly, of course) and also says she wants to be dead. My other mistake is I let this get to me and started crying, she fed off that too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I realize this may be a phase. I know that when I respond she is getting attention, so if I stop am I just supposed to let her scream and bang the door? My husband is done with everything, he's fed up and has no more patience left. Any advice?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25315" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-08-28T12:27:13.780" LastActivityDate="2019-08-28T12:27:13.780" Title="What to do about a 5-year-old girl being violent and insulting?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|tantrums|violence|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27795" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27794" CreationDate="2016-11-15T17:52:33.013" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's something going on here, and it's your job to figure it out. :-/ That's usually best done by talking once the child is calm. But there are a lot of things you can try to improve the immediate situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hitting, kicking and screaming are not &quot;OK&quot; behaviors in response to anger. Neither is your distress. This is just a behavior, like thumb sucking or crying when a child doesn't get what they want. Try to remember that, even if the words are extreme and painful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anger is not usually a primary emotion (some will argue that point.) Usually it's a secondary emotion; it gives the person an outlet which &lt;em&gt;feels&lt;/em&gt; more effective than identifying the underlying hurt (or the primary emotion) and talking about it. But talking about things is what's necessary to get your child to understand her emotions and to control them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first step in talking effectively with your child is to give her a rich emotional vocabulary&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt; that she really understands. A 5 year old can understand &lt;em&gt;frustrated, unimportant, ignored, unloved, lonely, overwhelmed&lt;/em&gt;, etc. (There are lots of positive feeling words as well.) &lt;strong&gt;Naming a feeling is necessary to deal with a feeling.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When a child is misbehaving, my way of dealing with it was to remind them of what behaviors are and are not acceptable (these have to be discussed ahead of time, as do the consequences.) If the child received a warning about the behavior and they did not exert self control (the ultimate goal), they got a time out. (My favorite book on time outs was &lt;em&gt;1-2-3 Magic&lt;/em&gt; by Thomas Phalen. One of the things I loved about it was that arguing is dispensed with entirely; a parent can remain quite detached from the child's behavior. The counting also gave the child a chance to reconsider their behavior. If they stopped before reaching three, they got a sticker, which was redeemable for something desirable (the more involved, the more stickers needed. But have things they could earn with just a few stickers, too. Small Lego sets were an option for us.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Time outs began when the child was quiet (wherever, e.g. in their room), i.e. if they are kicking and screaming, their time out didn't start yet. Just a reminder that their time out hasn't started yet is all the involvement you need to have (I would let her kick and scream. If she damages something, I would have her help repair it at a later time.) When they've quieted down, start the timer and let them know. That's it; no arguing, no &quot;punishments&quot;, no drama. After the time out, or as soon as convenient, you have a discussion about the child's feelings. Let them know their feelings are very important to you, and let them find security in your unconditional love (which does not mean you tolerate bad behavior. Discuss alternate ways they can deal with their feelings. Do some role playing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This might just be a phase, or something could be triggering it. You need to look for patterns which might suggest what the problem is and how to best deal with it. But talk, and remain open to what your daughter has to say.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sorry this is so long. :-/&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;1 These lists - and activities to reinforce them - are easy to find on the Internet.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastActivityDate="2016-11-15T17:52:33.013" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27796" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27661" CreationDate="2016-11-15T17:55:43.277" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You can get bitter-tasting stuff that is intended for putting on nails to stop nail biting. You could put some on the marbles. After she has tried one or two she will probably stop.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastActivityDate="2016-11-15T17:55:43.277" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27798" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27661" CreationDate="2016-11-15T19:56:49.463" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;No, it is not okay for your child to eat marbles because yes, they can be harmful to her health.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Assuming the marbles are made of glass, they are, by nature, nontoxic. However, if they are painted or made out of any other material, they could potentially contain contaminants from the paint or material that would be hazardous to her health. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The risks of un-painted marbles being swallowed are that she will end up choking, having a partial airway obstruction or a digestive obstruction. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some things you can do to prevent her eating the marbles: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep out of her reach &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If your son wishes to play with marbles, allow him a certain amount to be kept in a specific area. Count them before they are put away.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Teach your son to be thorough about picking up the marbles when he is finished with them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Or as mentioned in one of the other answers, use the bitter liquid used to prevent nail biting. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she has eaten a marble and you know that she has. Monitor her for breathing difficulties, inability/refusal to eat, difficult bowel movements, abnormally textured bowel movements, abnormally colored bowel movements or vomiting. Also watch for signs of lead poisoning such as hyperactivity, difficulty seeing or hearing, seizures. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she frequently has respiratory or digestive issues, this should be a sign of trouble. Make a doctor's appointment and let them know that you are concerned she may have ingested a marble. If any of the above symptoms are severe and/or accompany a high fever, pay your local hospital's emergency department a visit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also note that since those symptoms can go with normal illnesses, use your best judgment when deciding whether to go to the doctor. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope this helps, please comment with an questions or concerns! &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11746" LastActivityDate="2016-11-15T19:56:49.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27799" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27782" CreationDate="2016-11-15T23:21:51.777" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If it's really intense then you can consider using child-appropriate pain relievers (acetaminophen or ibuprofen) but, naturally, consult a doctor first. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Orajel is the go-to for 2+ &lt;em&gt;but not appropriate for a 7 month old&lt;/em&gt; and we never had any success with any of the natural remedies that are available. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With our daughter, when it was worst, her favourite soother was my finger... it hurt but provided some relief although not always enough for her to fall back asleep. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25322" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-16T00:11:49.513" LastActivityDate="2016-11-16T00:11:49.513" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27802" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22230" CreationDate="2016-11-16T03:04:29.357" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, not much is known about the effects of the drug Flakka on a fetus because the drug is so new. From what I've been able to glean through research, the baby has a very low chance of survival with chronic Flakka use and if the mother did manage to carry to term, the infant would likely have lots of physical and mental issues. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As unpleasant as this suggestion may sound, your best bet is to find her and have her picked up by local law enforcement if she won't listen to reason. Some side effects of Flakka are loss of touch with reality and hallucinations often leading to bodily harm of the user. You as a mother and grandmother have an obligation to care for mother (your daughter) and baby when the mother is incapable of or unwilling to do so. I know the thought of incarceration is horrible but with the current outbreak of this extremely cheap and easily obtained high it's probably your best (if not only) choice to protect your daughter and her child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25326" LastEditorUserId="3270" LastEditDate="2016-11-17T11:35:46.853" LastActivityDate="2016-11-17T11:35:46.853" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27803" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27794" CreationDate="2016-11-16T03:58:52.213" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Lately she has started being violent physically and verbally to me when she gets reprimanded or put in time out....  She is normally a sweet, passionate, and loving child. There are no problems in school at all.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Doctors like to be informed when there is a big change such as the one you have described.  So, if you haven't put your daughter's doctor in the picture about what's going on, this would be a great place to start.  When you're making the appointment, you could say, for example, &quot;We've seen a drastic change in her behavior and personality over the past (x weeks or months).&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, I would suggest that you think about things this way: your daughter is clearly going through some kind of personal crisis (although we don't understand what's causing it yet).  This would be a good time to sift through your expectations and thin them waay out, so that you rarely, if ever, have to give her a time out or reprimand her.  Try to set things up in such a way that you can honestly find something to give her sincere positive feedback about every day.  (It doesn't have to be effusive.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The basic idea is to try to limit the feedback you give her to the positive kind, over the short term, at least.  Catch her in the act of doing some sort of desired behavior, and give her positive feedback for that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Edit&lt;/strong&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I just realized I misread your daughter's age, and was assuming she is currently 8, but now I noticed she is actually 5.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For age 5, a lengthy time-out in the bedroom can feel intolerable.  Once you get out of this crisis, and are ready to institute time-outs again, take a look at my approach, which I wrote up here: &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/19585/14336&quot;&gt;https://parenting.stackexchange.com/a/19585/14336&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-04-13T12:41:13.330" LastActivityDate="2016-11-16T20:59:50.653" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27804" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-16T15:43:30.013" Score="10" ViewCount="478" Body="&lt;p&gt;My kids are 4 and 5 years old, so I need to always &quot;supervise&quot; them to make sure that they are doing their chores. Sometimes it's a bit frustrating. Any tips or advice on how to handle it better? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25328" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T18:19:45.937" Title="How do you get your kids to do their chores at home?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|development|chores|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27805" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27804" CreationDate="2016-11-16T15:53:38.327" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;At that age, supervision is probably the right thing to do, except with very basic chores. And they may well get them only partially done before being distracted etc. Until they are older it is valuable just getting them to understand that some chores need to be done each day.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We have always gone with: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;homework first&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;then chores&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;then relaxing, playing games etc.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if they took too long doing the first two then they wouldn't get to do the fun things they wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking it through to point out that parents still do the vast majority of all the chores, plus their day jobs can help them understand it is only a tiny imposition on them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-11-16T15:53:38.327" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27806" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27794" CreationDate="2016-11-16T18:44:11.467" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;immediately&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; contact my pediatrician for an appointment so he can refer her to a psychiatrist and a counselor. Stay away from untrained people; they are not what you need now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is very unusual for a five-year-old, and the longer it continues, the harder it will be to correct. In the meantime, you must remain calm and in control of your own emotions. Try to avoid situations where this behavior is triggered. Just as you wouldn't punish her to cure a fever, you can't punish her to cure mental or emotional health problems.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(I have a child with anxiety issues. It's a medical issue, not a moral failing. It needs to be treated as a medical issue.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T12:01:54.280" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T12:01:54.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27807" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27785" CreationDate="2016-11-16T20:35:06.310" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I looked to see if I could find any research on how long it takes our circadian rhythm takes to adjust to DST and somewhat &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071024123249.htm&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;surprisingly&lt;/a&gt; the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cell.com/current-biology/abstract/S0960-9822(07)02086-6&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;research&lt;/a&gt; I found suggests we &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;never&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; adjust. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actually it's a little more complex than that: adults rapidly adjust to the end of DST, but not its onset. To make sense of this we have to understand that DST creates a disjunct between Social Time (i.e. what the clocks say) and Solar Time(&quot;real&quot; time i.e. where the sun is in the sky). When DST arrives mentally we adjust ourselves to the new social time but our bodies stay on solar time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;From a toddlers perspective it's a little different. Two-year-olds have no concept of time beyond 'now', certainly they have no notion of social time. So its not that your toddler got up an hour later before, its that social time fooled you into thinking he did, from his point of view nothing has changed. Except that your behavior has changed, as you adjusted your sense of social time, and so to him seems like the time between waking, and having his parents attention has increased by an hour.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seen like this its not all together surprising that he has become more insistent in demanding you attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However this leaves a situation where there are no ready answers, especially, as you discovered, our sleeping and waking times are determined by when we wake up, not when we go to sleep, so changing bed time has no effect, and we live in a world where electric light seriously messes with out circadian rhythm.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;That said there are a couple of options:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Give up the Canute like struggle against Solar time and adjust your sleep pattern rather than his. This is probably not the answer you are looking for, but it might be the easier path.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Attempt to fake solar time. With my daughter the issue has been the opposite (getting her to bed at a reasonable time with the onset of DST). To tackle this we use &lt;em&gt;blackout&lt;/em&gt; curtains (not just heavy normal curtains, and even double blackout curtains let in a lot of light) and a &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.amazon.com/sunrise-alarm-clock/s?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;page=1&amp;amp;rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Asunrise%20alarm%20clock&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;sunrise alarm clock&lt;/a&gt; to set an artificial sunrise/sunset time in the bedroom. I suspect this is more effective in the summer, than winter (since winter is already solar time) and will take some time to be effective, but its worth considering if you are not willing to make the adjustment your self.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you choose to do it will help to ignore clock time when thinking about this. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;(As a side note: I take time-release ADHD meds, and interestingly, I realized that with the clock change, I spontaneously, and unconsciously, altered the time I take them by an hour so the onset remains matched to solar time/my circadian rhythms, while adjusting everything else to social time).&lt;/sub&gt;    &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3270" LastEditorUserId="25360" LastEditDate="2016-11-22T12:51:48.993" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T12:51:48.993" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27808" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27811" CreationDate="2016-11-16T22:06:37.757" Score="6" ViewCount="2670" Body="&lt;p&gt;At a Cub Scout event, my 7-year-old slurped water from a fountain and then squirted at another kid, thinking it was funny. The other child told me about it. My son's reaction has been stoical, he offered a half-hearted apology.  Needless to say the other parent is angry with me.  He started at a new school this year and has been acting out excessively. I'm scared he's becoming a loner at school because he plays rough. I'm looking for ideas on:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How do I discipline him for this effectively?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;How does he make restitution for his offense to the other party?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should I try to make amends, more than the apology I've already offered?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;What can I do to reach his heart and save him from becoming a future outcast in middle and high school?&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25329" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-12-06T13:17:55.990" LastActivityDate="2018-12-06T13:17:55.990" Title="My child spit water in another kid's face - now what?" Tags="|discipline|primary-schooler|communication|bullying|" AnswerCount="4" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27809" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="5526" CreationDate="2016-11-17T00:32:12.313" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am convinced that for children who don't like showers, it's because they don't like it on their face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I heard too many stories from friends about their child hating showers. Many of them also say their children don't like swimming at the beach. Water at bathtime is fine, but when it's in a bit more of a chaotic situation, their children are not happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I live in Hawaii, and I have always grown up around the beach, so being afraid of the beach is kind of a problem. So I decided that I would teach my daughter to not fear showers or the beach by doing something very simple during bath times. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As soon as she was too big for sink bathing, I started bathing her in the bathtub with me. We had a shower head that allowed me to gently wash her down while I held her on my lap. At every bath time, I would intentionally spray just a bit of water on her hair at first. Just a small amount. Oh, she didn't like it at first but eventually we got to the point where I was able to spray just a bit on her face as well. Not very much water, mind you. Almost an instant, gentle spray of water. Not a face full or anything. Just enough to get her used to water on her face. That was the secret -- getting her used to water splashing on her face.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did this over and over again, every time I bathed her, which was every day. Eventually, she didn't fuss about it. Eventually, she just got used to it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;By the age of 4, she was able to wash her own hair in the shower. I mean, put her face under the shower head, eyes closed with shampoo. Washed her own hair and everying. She's awesome at it. Friends wanted to know how she was able to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She's now 6 and isn't scared of waves at the beach (even choppy waves like Waimanalo Beach). She even wants me to take her into the water, even though she actually doesn't know how to swim yet. The splashing of water does not phase her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For you new parents out there, give this technique a try when they're young. I am willing to bet that your child will not have a problem with shower time using this technique.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25330" LastActivityDate="2016-11-17T00:32:12.313" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27810" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27808" CreationDate="2016-11-17T00:55:39.520" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;If this is a one-off event, just have him apologize after he understands how offensive some people would find this behavior and how they will remember him for it until he manages to earn a better reputation by better behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="6145" LastActivityDate="2016-11-17T00:55:39.520" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27811" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27808" CreationDate="2016-11-17T01:15:16.560" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;Ah, the heartbreak of parenthood (I'm serious.) You have asked what you can do. You say your son offered a half-hearted apology. If you want him to learn why his behavior hurts others as well as himself, he'll have to do a lot better than half-hearted apologies.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most people believe a sincere apology is enough. I believe firmly in restitution accompanying an apology whenever possible. Since nothing concrete was broken here, restitution is trickier.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have offered an apology, but you aren't the guilty party. Your son did the damage to the fellow he spit on. His parents hurt for their son. What you feel is probably exponentially more than anyone else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, your son must apologize properly for what he's done. This is best done in front of the parents, for they were hurt as well. To apologize &lt;em&gt;effectively&lt;/em&gt;, he should   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Own the offensive behavior&lt;/strong&gt; (it didn't just happen; he doesn't get to say, &quot;I don't know why I did it...&quot;), which means he has to think it out honestly. You can help him do this.&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Verbalize why it was wrong&lt;/strong&gt; (he needs to think with &lt;em&gt;empathy&lt;/em&gt; about how this might have affected the other boy. This means he doesn't get to say, &quot;It wouldn't have bothered me,&quot; or, &quot;I would have laughed.&quot;) How would your son have felt - honestly - if the reverse had happened? Belittled? Humiliated? Disrespected? Loved? Befriended? Happy? To discuss this, he needs an emotional vocabulary&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;. If he is not naturally empathetic, you'll need to work on empathy with your son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3. Express sincere regret&lt;/strong&gt; for having caused the boy... (humiliation/embarrassment/etc. - all that apply.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4. Promise the behavior will not be repeated&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5. Ask if there's anything he can do to mitigate the hurt he's caused.&lt;/strong&gt; (E.g. if he did this in front of other kids, he should also apologize publicly as well. This is mitigating if the recipient was humiliated.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;6. Act on his apology.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;How does he make restitution for his offense to the other party? Should I try to make amends, more than the apology I've already offered?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The restitution here is something that would restore the recipient's sense of self-worth. That's pretty difficult, but a sincere apology does help towards that end; it means he cares about the boy's feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;He started at a new school this year and has been acting out excessively. I'm scared he's becoming a loner at school because he plays rough.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a very valid concern. Kids who felt like outsiders during their childhood often carry the effects of this for a very long time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As a parent, you need to find out why he's acting out. You don't mention anything that might point to a cause of this except for being at a new school. If that's all that is different, it does make it easier. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If there's more (he's at a new school because there was a separation and you moved; he's at a new school because there was a job change and you moved; he's angry at losing his old friends, there are cliques at his new school, he's in a very different kind of school environment in which he feels insecure, etc., etc.) then your job is harder, but whatever the case, you need to start having some regular talks about &lt;em&gt;why&lt;/em&gt; before you can effect a change. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If it's nothing that he can identify after trying his hardest, he may just be less strong in reading social cues than his peers, making him act inappropriately towards them. In that case, sincere apologies wherein he needs to practice empathy will help him understand the effects of his behaviors, as will working on empathy at home. He might also benefit from exercises in reading social cues (i.e. how to make friends, or at least stop losing them.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might try reading articles by Michelle Garcia Winner whose work is to help children learn how to act acceptably towards others (much of her work is free online.) After you've gotten a good idea of the principles, you can talk to your son's teacher(s) and the school counselor (if they have one) for their assessment of his behavior. Then you can start working with your son at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hopefully, this will be all that's needed. If your son didn't have problems before this year, loving him, working on empathy, and working on social skills with him will likely help a lot.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You have my best wishes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;1 &quot;I thought it was funny,&quot; while true, is also not self-reflective enough. What did he hope for? The boy to laugh? To elicit laughter of the other boys? Why did he want this? Was it a way to curry favor? Popularity? As I said, this will take a lot of discussion, best done in session lengths that exceed his comfort level (this is serious) but not to the point of non-productivity.&lt;/sub&gt;   &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;2 A &lt;a href=&quot;http://lifehacker.com/find-the-perfect-word-for-your-feelings-with-this-vocab-1653013241&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;feeling wheel&lt;/a&gt; can help here. It's not too advanced. There are a lot of resources online for teaching (and modelling) an emotional vocabulary.&lt;/sub&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-17T17:33:23.213" LastActivityDate="2016-11-17T17:33:23.213" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27812" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-17T06:28:44.117" Score="2" ViewCount="187" Body="&lt;p&gt;How would a behavioral specialist assess behavioural traits for a stubborn 18 month old toddler who cannot speak yet ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Will the exercise even get to the root of the problem or even achieve desired results ?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="10089" LastEditorUserId="10089" LastEditDate="2016-11-18T04:06:19.723" LastActivityDate="2016-11-26T11:27:44.327" Title="Assessing behavioural difficulties in toddler" Tags="|toddler|behavior|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27813" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27804" CreationDate="2016-11-17T13:45:30.143" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;By far, in my experience, the best way to maintain discipline in the long run is to reward good behavior, i.e. positive reinforcement!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your end goal is to build consistency. If you manage to engage your kids in the household chores regularly, it will soon become a habit. And by making it more fun and rewarding, your kids will feel more compelled to do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There's this very interesting behavioral science study that they broke kids into many different groups and they did a lot of techniques to try to convince those kids to eat broccoli.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Out of all the groups, there was one group of kids where the results were outstanding. These were the kids where the parents were telling them: &quot;Hey, these brocolli are like little trees, and you know, when you are eating these little trees you are like a dinosaur&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Crazy, isn't it? But if you think about it, it makes sense. Because the kids were associating the idea of eating brocolli with something that's fun for them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I believe that the same concept can be applied to encourage kids to do their chores. You can create Star charts drawn up by hand and pin it to the fridge door, create some kind of game where they can only unlock more information once they do their chores, or even use technology to help you with that. Two apps that I know are: &lt;a href=&quot;https://habitica.com/static/front&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Habitica&lt;/a&gt;, which turns tasks into a game and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jobstars.rocks/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;Jobstars&lt;/a&gt;, which let parents gamify household chores for their kids. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whatever you decide to do, make sure that your kids somehow associate chores with having fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25332" LastActivityDate="2016-11-17T13:45:30.143" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27814" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27804" CreationDate="2016-11-17T14:23:49.113" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Don't make it look like chores!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The easiest way to make a child to do their chores is to make it a fun experience. Make the &quot;unfun&quot; part just a part of the bigger process of doing something fun.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Invite your kid to cook with you, and then show him or her how to clean up the dishes &lt;em&gt;while you cook&lt;/em&gt;, making it a fun experience too. When you finish cooking, you have a clean sink and a huge smile on your kid's face.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't create a &quot;clean your room&quot; moment. The best way to maintain a clean and organized home is to keep it clean and organized all the time. Don't leave a mess - always clean up after yourself, and give that example to your kid. Help them keep their own room cleaned up &lt;em&gt;all the time&lt;/em&gt;. Burn the idea of a clean, organized environment on your kid's brain by keeping your home that way all the time. When they get used to it, they will hate messes and unorganized environments, too.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Be a role model for your kid. Try to be someone whom your kid admires, be the super-parent, the hero of your children's dream. Don't leave that spot for Superman or The Hulk. Play games with your kid on your lap - games like Skyrim or Fallout or even Borderlands, and be &lt;em&gt;awesome&lt;/em&gt; while doing it. Show yourself being the hero for your kid! You'll end up with situations in which your daughter puts a pan on her head and go around the home hunting dragons and being the Dovahkiin after spending some time with your wife playing Elder Scrolls V. A Dovahkiin that knows the importance of putting every little thing back on its place. A Dovakiin that takes baths on the nearby lake - or, missing a lake, a nearby bathtub. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Draw your kid into playing slow-paced games that need patience to play. Things like Minecraft and Stardew Valley. Play them with your kid. Those games stimulate patience and low-reward, high effort tasks. When your kid spends a lot of time searching for diamonds in the depths of the world, spending a few minutes cleaning up stuff seems not so bad.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reward your kid with praise and nice experiences when they behave nicely. Don't use gifts - they create the expectation of payment for a chore. Instead, take them to somewhere nice to eat something different, or take them to the movies or to the park. Stimulate good behavior by giving them good memories!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;And, of course, don't be harsh with them when they fail to do something. Just remind them to it on a casual, regular manner. &quot;Oh, by the way, you forgot to put your dishes in the sink. Can you pause your game for a few seconds to do it?&quot; gets a way better response than screaming or being mean to them. If they fail repeatedly to do something, just talk about it. Don't make a fuss, don't show it to be a big deal. Just talk with them on the most casual manner you can, preferably while doing something else. They will listen.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="11560" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T18:19:45.937" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T18:19:45.937" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27815" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27840" CreationDate="2016-11-17T16:08:48.263" Score="10" ViewCount="1797" Body="&lt;p&gt;My six-year-old has never had much interest in drinking fluids, and has recently had problems with passing faeces (i.e. constipation), which will not have been helped by this inattention to drinking.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We provide water with every meal (as a family we generally have just water, but squash or ribena occasionally - I don't know if she drinks more when we have those sweet drinks) although she is at school from 9am-3pm. Chiding her to drink more has little effect as she is strong-willed and independent. How can we encourage her to habitually drink more fluids? She generally takes about a third to half of a cup/beaker at a mealtimes, and will sometimes &lt;em&gt;ask&lt;/em&gt; for a drink after school,  which again will be less than half drunk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16188" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T16:13:58.517" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T18:25:58.737" Title="How to encourage a six-year-old to habitually drink more fluids?" Tags="|health|drinking|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27816" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27808" CreationDate="2016-11-17T23:17:38.417" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Question by question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Explain that some kids find this amusing but some kids find it disgusting. Point out that he never sees grownups doing this, and tell him that we don't think it's funny. (Yes this is a lie, but it's in a good cause.) &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Never try to make restitution for an individual kid's offense against another kid. A balancing offense will come along momentarily. The accidental and deliberate offenses at that age fly so thick and fast that you'll go nuts trying to keep up. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;A simple apology is sufficient. The more fuss you make before the other parents, the longer this silly prank will be remembered. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kids who are willing to play rougher than other kids do not become outcasts in middle and high school. Kids who are willing to play rougher than other kids become social leaders in middle and high school, dominant moguls in the business world, and -- with just a little luck -- president of the United States. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously -- the thing you would have to watch for and really worry about is if your son persistently squirts water, throws dirt, calls names, etc. at the weakest member of his tribe. This is bullying, and you would have to intervene. Otherwise keep as much distance as you can when there is no obvious potential for injury. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerDisplayName="user20278" LastActivityDate="2016-11-17T23:17:38.417" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27817" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="12030" CreationDate="2016-11-18T01:38:58.053" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I found this article helpful because it describes the kind of consistency the food should be. Baby should be able to mash the food against the top of the mouth. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/20/health/baby-led-weaning-choking-risk/index.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/20/health/baby-led-weaning-choking-risk/index.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also this study finds that choking is a serious hazard regardless of the approach used to introducing solids. It is not higher with BLW. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I read the BLW book and got excited but as we started with our daughter I am realizing the book is no substitute for exercising one's own judgement as a parent and we need to consider the motor skills of our babies since they all develop differently. Those things all have to kind of line up together for BLW to work well regardless of whether or not you have exactly the right size food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will also admit the book gives insight to avoid choking but then kind of waffles by saying the baby can just have what you are eating. One part says give them sticks or slices of things so they can hold it. Another part says chip sizes are fine. It is confusing. That is why I like the fact the cnn article talks about the consistency of the food. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25337" LastActivityDate="2016-11-18T01:38:58.053" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27818" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27812" CreationDate="2016-11-18T04:13:04.060" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a child with behavioral problems, and I know a fair number of families where a child has behavioral problems too.  Based on this experience, I can say that I would be very surprised if a behavioral specialist would be willing to do an assessment on such a young child.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What I've observed is that for children less than five, the parents tend to be told to come back in a couple of years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, that comment is limited to my specific geographical region, and my child's particular diagnosis.  Your mileage may vary.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have you talked the situation over with your child's doctor?  If not, I encourage you to start there.  Ask about early intervention services.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sign language can be very helpful in that transition period before a child is willing or able to communicate through spoken language.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't have any authoritative information for you.  But my general impression is that if a child's ability to express his wants, needs, preferences, feelings, etc., is hampered, the child can get extremely frustrated.  That can happen to anyone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There is another possible route, and I don't know how helpful this would be at age 18 months, but you could give it a try, you could see a developmental pediatrician.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The way the system works where I live, the starting point for both of the above avenues is the child's primary care provider.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-11-18T16:52:26.380" LastActivityDate="2016-11-18T16:52:26.380" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27820" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27804" CreationDate="2016-11-18T09:30:13.567" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;Children care deeply about fairness. They resent having to do tasks if they think the others are getting away with doing less. &#xA;We made a rota for all shared tasks. Everyone had a coloured dot and once a month the dots moved. So you might have the compost bin following by paper recycling. Of course they totted up and pointed out that e.g. at Christmas there's more paper, so at the end of the year the dots were randomised and reset (with a judicial bit of tweaking to avoid revolution).&#xA;As the kids got bigger so did the tasks. This worked extremely well until they were grownup and gone. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fact the son moved back in recently and it seemed the most natural thing in the world to give him the the shopping and cooking job every third weekend, and he just does it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9895" LastActivityDate="2016-11-18T09:30:13.567" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27821" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27808" CreationDate="2016-11-18T12:01:06.773" Score="-1" Body="&lt;p&gt;You cannot force someone to give a genuine apology, attempting to do so might even cause resentment and stubbornness. It just seems like standard hi-jinks from a young boy and IMO the other parents are being precious about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just explain to your son what they did wasn't nice, explain why it wasn't very nice. Give a punishment if you think it's necessary, then move on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3460" LastActivityDate="2016-11-18T12:01:06.773" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27823" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27812" CreationDate="2016-11-18T14:23:42.330" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;Highly trained behavioral specialists do assess children as young as 18 months, e.g. that's a recommended first age to screen for autism.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Research has found that ASD can sometimes be detected at 18 months or younger. By age 2, a diagnosis by an experienced professional can be considered very reliable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While to you, your child may look 'untestable', to a highly trained professional, he may well show classic symptoms of a particular disorder. If a condition &lt;em&gt;is&lt;/em&gt; found, the earlier the diagnosis, the sooner treatment can begin.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don't make any claims as to whether or not your child has a disorder. Just answering the question. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-screening.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Screening and Diagnosis for Healthcare Providers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-18T16:51:50.343" LastActivityDate="2016-11-18T16:51:50.343" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27828" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27836" CreationDate="2016-11-19T10:19:38.287" Score="2" ViewCount="1818" Body="&lt;p&gt;Dear parents and parenting specialists. What to do if my son doesn't want to eat porridge/cereal? We try everything, we want him to eat buckwheat, millet, oatmeal, muesli and semolina, but he refuses. In need of advice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25344" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T07:21:13.183" Title="Son 2-3 years old doesn't want to eat porridge/cereal" Tags="|food|eating|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27831" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27828" CreationDate="2016-11-19T15:19:46.017" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our 3 year old doesn't like things that are mushy and would rather eat the cereal/granola dry with something to wash it down. It takes him a long time to eat it so our preference is scrambled eggs, toast and fruit or french toast and fruit. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25346" LastActivityDate="2016-11-19T15:19:46.017" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27833" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="14193" CreationDate="2016-11-19T22:43:24.920" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;New research warns that infants under four weeks shouldn't travel in car seats for more than 30 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-37947841&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-37947841&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25348" LastActivityDate="2016-11-19T22:43:24.920" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27834" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27815" CreationDate="2016-11-20T10:30:22.503" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;A very common way to get around this sort of thing is by demonstrating the right behaviours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Buy some water bottles, for all the family (and make sure she gets to choose the style/design for hers) and always have them with you. A really good design she likes may make her happier to have water at school as well.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her have the flavour of choice (Ribena or whatever) but try to avoid making it too concentrated.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Drink from them frequently yourself. Have one with you when watching TV, in the car, anywhere.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may sound too simple but it works as a general encouragement, without being confrontational, by providing good positive examples of the behaviour you want to see from her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Somehow we appear to have 17 water bottles between the 5 of us, and while I get fed up finding them in random places, having them there makes everyone drink.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="316" LastActivityDate="2016-11-20T10:30:22.503" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27835" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-20T13:15:41.330" Score="6" ViewCount="2046" Body="&lt;p&gt;I can't stop thinking about this and I don't know where to get answers, my dad used to be the breadwinner of the family- until his contract ended. He went to find jobs immediately but then he turned them down because &quot;he didn't like the place&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He thinks we can all live off his savings but I'm worried about the financial situation in my family. My dad is a big spender and he doesn't let my mom work. Basically, we have zero income and tons of expenses to be paid. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm worried because January is basically the expense month of the year and he has to pay a lot of fees, etc. my mom tried persuading him but he just kept ignoring job offers so he can wait for his old company to hire him back- but it's obvious they didn't want him there anymore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm just worried about the whole financial situation and my dad suddenly being like this, someone please help me? I couldn't get my dad to explain why and I don't know how to approach him. I am just worried about this zero income family- they're all big spenders and they are still spending &lt;em&gt;&quot;a lot&quot;&lt;/em&gt; - my sister my dad and my mom they ignore the fact that we don't have income and waste money. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25350" LastEditorUserId="2221" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T04:23:54.683" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T14:35:20.243" Title="How to convince my dad to accept his job offer since we have no other income source?" Tags="|parents|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27836" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27828" CreationDate="2016-11-20T14:04:25.700" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;That in itself is nothing to worry about.  You may continue to offer cereal occasionally, without pushing or feeling any alarm if it is rejected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A nutritionally balanced repertoire, with  enough variety to keep things interesting, is what you should be aiming for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The American Academy of Pediatrics has built a website aimed at parents, www.healthychildren.org.  In the section called Healthy Living, there is a section on toddler and preschooler nutrition, which says, in part:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Toddlers and preschoolers grow in spurts and their appetites come and go in spurts, so they may eat a whole lot one day and then hardly anything the next. It's normal, and as long as you offer them a healthy selection, they will get what they need.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T07:21:13.183" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T07:21:13.183" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27837" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27815" CreationDate="2016-11-20T15:31:19.380" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Here are some ideas.  They might not all be appropriate for your situation, and you don't have to use all of them!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it helps to give information to a child about her health situation.  One resource you could use for this might be &lt;a href=&quot;https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/constipation.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/constipation.html&lt;/a&gt;.  This is a website aimed at children.  If your child doesn't read English, or is not ready to read this with you, you can still use this page as an outline for a conversation in which you provide her with objective medical information. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;(As already contributed by Rory) if you and your daughter don't yet have personal water bottles, let your daughter choose a bottle for herself, and buy one for yourself.  Keep the bottles handy, and model the desired behavior, without making a big deal about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(a) Connected with this -- consider straws and ice cubes to add more fun.  You can put food coloring in the ice cubes.  There are some new refillable squeeze tubes in the stores where I live now, that can provide more variety.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(b) Related to this, you can set up pouring activities, à la Montessori.  You can pour for fun and you can pour as part of measuring activities.  In other words, doing things with water can be a wonderful sensory experience, and perhaps these experiences will have a general encouraging effect.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;As suggested at the parents' section on kidshealth.org, &lt;a href=&quot;https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/constipation.html?ref=search#kha_22&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/constipation.html?ref=search#kha_22&lt;/a&gt;, it may be helpful to talk to your child's doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter is a Michelle Obama fan, tap into her Drink Up campaign.  For example, here's a fun, short spot she made about the healthful benefits of drinking water: &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n46X7HpJbkI&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n46X7HpJbkI&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it helps to buy plain carbonated water (no sugar), or a gadget for making bubble water at home.  You can have fun experimenting together with different flavorings, for example unsweetened cranberry juice, lime juice, vanilla, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;See if you can partner with your child's teacher so that more opportunities for drinking water can be incorporated into the school day.  For example, some parents contribute a box of water bottles to the class, so that each child has a reusable water bottle, labeled with the child's name, to use when there's a snack or water break.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="316" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T15:10:17.463" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T15:10:17.463" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27839" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21921" CreationDate="2016-11-20T22:05:25.907" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;As a current college student (age 21 and paying for my own education) I believe your questions and concerns are out-dated and close minded. As long as you taught your son self control and how to make smart decisions, you shouldn't be concerned about his drug experimentation. Unless he is making reckless decisions and allowing his studies to take the back seat, there isn't any cause for concern. College is about learning, experimenting, being exposed to new ideas, and experiencing new things. If he's in college already, your son is obviously an intelligent kid and is more than capable of making his own educated decisions. It sounds like he's done his research and based his choices on the scientific information that is available on those substances. At this point, by trying to control his actions and force your opinions on him, all you are going to do is force him to be sneaky and lie to you. Based on all of the up-to-date scientific studies on both LSD and marijuana, your son has chosen to do what are considered some of the safest and least harmful drugs. Both have been proven to have beneficial and therapeutic effects if used properly. My advice to you as a young adult who was raised in a strict home, do not try to manipulate your son and force your views down his throat. At this point in his life, it is important for him to be able to make his own decisions, good or bad, and learn from his mistakes. Your role in his growth as an adult is coming to a close.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I apologize if I have offended you with this reply; I honestly just wanted to weigh in from a different perspective. I would also recommend considering trying LSD with your son if you have never done it before. Of course, you would need to do your fair share of research on the substance and buy a test kit to be sure it is pure. Ultimately it is your decision but I highly recommend looking at the most up to date information on the substances before making a biased decision. Hope this helps.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4086777/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4086777/&lt;/a&gt;  (Scroll to the &quot;safety&quot; section if you don't want to read the whole thing. Note the dosage used was 200 micrograms: double the common dose of 75-100 per blotter.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://jop.sagepub.com/content/early/2016/11/10/0269881116677104.abstract&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://jop.sagepub.com/content/early/2016/11/10/0269881116677104.abstract&lt;/a&gt; (This just touches on the non-addictive properties.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25354" LastEditorUserId="25354" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T00:39:36.463" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T00:39:36.463" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27840" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27815" CreationDate="2016-11-20T23:44:04.293" Score="9" Body="&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Resist the temptation to allow sugary drinks to solve this problem... you will just trade one problem for another!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Keep a selection of frozen fruits on hand to use as ice cubes. When she gets to the bottom of the drink, she has fruit to eat (usually thawed by then) as a treat. She can devise her own concoctions.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Water must be handy. Carry water bottles with you whenever you leave the house.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Let her shop for glasses or cups with you - whatever would be fun for her to drink out of. One of my kids liked to drink from a coffee cup. Your daughter might choose a wine glass or a character glass that is only hers to use.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer tea. It's a grown up kind of drink, and comes in so many herbal flavors now!&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Offer high-water content fruits as snacks (watermelon, citrus).&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4165" LastActivityDate="2016-11-20T23:44:04.293" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27841" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27835" CreationDate="2016-11-21T07:21:23.300" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;There's almost nothing a child can do to convince a wayward parent their behaviors are ill advised, regardless of your or your parents' age.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So what I'm saying is, there is no &quot;how.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's not fun, but take account of reality around you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So long as you and your family are not:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;code&gt;1. Starving&#xA;2. Homeless&#xA;3. Direly ill &#xA;&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then you're, at the very least, surviving. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It may seem cold, but in practical terms the debt is on your father's credit history, not yours. (At least in American law.) &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I would encourage you to speak up in a non-confrontational manner and express your fears, staying focused on how you feel and why, and &lt;strong&gt;avoid entirely&lt;/strong&gt; telling your father what to do and how to do it, otherwise he will feel ashamed and you will feel remorseful. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Again, definitely express your fears. It's unlikely you'll receive a satisfactory result immediately in that conversation, but pay attention to your father's actions, regardless of his words in the coming months. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ultimately, you have to look out for yourself as a self-sufficient adult, which is what most parents intend. So listen, observe, and as long as you aren't starving, homeless, or sick from your parents' decisions, you're okay; even if that means you're not comfortable.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22119" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T07:21:23.300" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27842" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27835" CreationDate="2016-11-21T07:29:09.337" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;With a big, amorphous worry, it can help to break the big worry down into all its sub-worries.  Can you make a list of all the minor and major disasters that could strike you, and your family, if this no input coming in situation continues?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, I wonder if some of the following would end up on your list:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My siblings and I would have trouble going to college due to poor financial health of my family&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;With no regular job to go to, my father might get a bit mentally unbalanced.  If he waits too long, prospective employers might get a whiff of desperation and not hire him.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We might lose our health insurance.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;My mother might look for a job and be unsuccessful; or she might be poorly paid; or my father might find her working unforgivable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;We might lose our house.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm not saying that any of these things are or are not going to happen.  I just think that writing down your worst fears can help.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Then find someone you trust to look at what you've written.  Perhaps your mother, perhaps a trusted adult at school, perhaps the parent of a friend, perhaps your doctor, etc.  Not for that person to wave a magic wand and solve everything -- but it can help to have someone you can talk to, with whom you can be completely honest.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T07:29:09.337" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27845" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2016-11-21T13:48:22.553" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Our requirements were, &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It shouldn't be too easy or too difficult to pronounce.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;It can either be vintage or extremely trendy, but people should feel it unique/rare when they hear that name. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shouldn't be able to create any weird or teasy nicknames.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should start with our preferred alphabet.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shouldn't be too religious. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;A big no-no to famous/popular celebrity names. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Not more than 6-7 words, in order to avoid people calling with different names. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Should be able to shortened, to use it as a nick name (even this one should sound good). &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;When pronounced it should sound good with last name. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Shouldn't start with the same letter as last name. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Finally it shouldn't be in the banned baby names list of any country.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22197" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T13:48:22.553" CommentCount="0" CommunityOwnedDate="2016-11-21T13:48:22.553" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27846" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27835" CreationDate="2016-11-21T14:21:44.170" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I commend you on being mature enough to recognize what is going on and to be worried about your family's financial situation.  That being said, finding a job can be a lot more complicated than it seems and &quot;not liking the place&quot; can (sometimes) be a valid reason not to take a job.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Don't be too harsh on your dad for not taking a job just because he didn't like the place.  Finding a job as an adult is a bit different than finding one as a kid.  As a kid (at least in my experience), you pretty much take any job offer you get, because getting one can be tough.  As long as the place isn't horrible and it works with your schedule, you take it because it's a source of income.  And even if the place kinda sucks, those jobs usually won't last more than a few months (or years if you get a decent job), so it's no big deal if you have to suck it up a couple days a week and go to that job.  It's also not a huge deal if you end up quitting because that income isn't vital to your survival.  Finally, unless you habitually do some dumb things (like get fired or job hop a lot), most of your teenage jobs aren't going to matter that much in the long run.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For adults, finding a job is almost entirely backwards of what it is for a teenager.  When adults get jobs, it is usually a job you will be in for a long time.  It doesn't look good to future employers when you get a new job frequently.  Doing so would make it hard to get new jobs, so your dad needs to think about this in the long term.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, your dad needs to find a job somewhere that is at least tolerable.  Remember he will be working there (probably) 8 hours a day 5 days a week.  If it sucks there, that's a whole lot of suck he has to look forward to for a long time.  And that can be very draining, mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically.  Also, if he doesn't like the place, it can be hard to get along with people there, which can make it hard for him to keep his job.  And if he can't keep his job, it just means he'll be starting over again with the job hunt, but in worse shape than he is now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Secondly, your dad has to think about his career too.  A career evolves over time such that as you gain more experience, you move into different positions with different / more responsibility (which usually means bigger paychecks).  Your dad has to consider if any job offer he gets is going to be good for his career long term (and as such, good for your family long term).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, your dad doesn't really have the option of quitting if it doesn't work out.  He needs that income to be able to support your family, so he can't just quit if the job starts to become unbearable.  As such, it's worth putting in a little extra time now to find a good fit rather than take the first thing that comes along.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(Note: I know I've made a case here for waiting and trying to find a good job and that is usually the best thing to do.  However, sometimes as an adult, you do have to suck it up and take a less than ideal job because you need the income.  But that's not where you are aiming at the beginning of a job hunt.  That's what happens much later.  And it doesn't sound like your dad is at that point yet.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;All that being said, you do have a right to have your concerns and fears heard.  You can certainly go to your parents and tell then that you are scared you are going to run out of money.  That you are scared you won't have food to eat or a place to live.  Then just see what they say.  They may have more saved up than you realize.  Their bills may not be as bad as you think.  They may have backup plans that you have no clue exist in case your dad can't find a job.  They also might not.  But you can ask and let them know how you feel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Remember that while you have a right to express your feelings and concerns, you don't have any sort of final say on what your dad should or shouldn't do.  Things are probably way more complicated than you realize (because there are a lot more things your dad has to consider) and you just aren't getting a complete picture.  If you try to dictate what your dad should do, it's not likely to make your dad feel good and he will probably either be dismissive or angry at your suggestions.  You can tell him that you think he should take the job, but don't push it any harder than that.  You aren't privy to all the information about how the family is run and only have a perspective of someone on the outside looking in.  As long as your dad is trustworthy, trust in his judgement and be supportive.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastEditorUserId="4087" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T14:35:20.243" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T14:35:20.243" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27848" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="2600" CreationDate="2016-11-21T17:51:46.567" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;It's horrible to have to think like this, but whatever your background you probably want to avoid stereotypically &quot;black&quot; names in order to avoid future discrimination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nber.org/digest/sep03/w9873.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.nber.org/digest/sep03/w9873.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7798" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-21T19:07:23.307" LastActivityDate="2016-11-21T19:07:23.307" CommentCount="1" CommunityOwnedDate="2016-11-21T17:51:46.567" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27850" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27804" CreationDate="2016-11-22T02:49:11.310" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;At 4 and 5, I would suggest doing chores with them. No one likes being sent off to work alone.&#xA;Use lots of praise and also try timers. Try a contest to see who does the most in 5 minutes and the winner gets to choose the next activity or game...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T02:49:11.310" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27851" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27815" CreationDate="2016-11-22T03:10:33.110" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;You could try high-liquid foods, like soups. Fruits like melons or berries provide liquids.&#xA;I might also suggest not calling more attention to this because you have provided a battle and that can be a problem... focus on something else.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I had a client whose child would only eat candy and chips. Meals were provided, candy and chips removed from the house and within one day, hunger won. The parents just did not argue.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T03:10:33.110" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27853" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-22T04:38:21.593" Score="6" ViewCount="479" Body="&lt;p&gt;My son is 5 years old and started kindergarten this fall. We are almost at the end of the second semester and his behavior seems to be deteriorating instead of improving. Today we got this email from his teacher: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;Your son had a difficult day today. Even cried a few times when he didn't get his way. I think he's done learning and just wants a break for now . Most of my younger kids in class are having a hard time focusing last couple of weeks. Totally understandable. Even as adults we get tired of the same routine and work. Please let me know what motivates him. What can I do to get him back on track? I will not give him harder work to challenge him as I feel he will completely shut down. He refuses to do the work we have, so harder work makes no sense. He is extremely smart and can do higher level work but I feel he will act out more. What do you think? Now that he is more comfortable he wants everything to be on his own terms and learning and listening is not something he wants to do. We had visitors today during our presentations and we had to remove him from the carpet to sit at his desk for 5 mins. because he wouldn't let presenters talk. He did great btw! He just had a hard time letting others have their turn. It breaks my heart to have to discipline him.  Any feedback from you is very valuable!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Please can you share some suggestions to help this very energetic  5 year old boy to focus, be a better listener and respect others. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2961" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T19:25:19.217" LastActivityDate="2017-12-19T12:45:23.977" Title="How can I get my 5 year old son to be a better listener and have respect for his classmates and teachers?" Tags="|behavior|pre-schooler|discipline|school|focus|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27854" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27879" CreationDate="2016-11-22T05:24:20.750" Score="9" ViewCount="1635" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TL;DR&lt;/strong&gt; My mother isn't supportive and she doesn't seem to understand me. My family life is miserable and I don't know what to do about my situation. I know I should probably see a counselor but my parents aren't willing to support me in that and a counselor cannot change my parents' behavior. What can I do to improve my situation?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To prevent this from being downvoted into oblivion: I believe this post is on-topic (see &lt;a href=&quot;https://parenting.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/226/would-we-accept-questions-about-parents&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt; meta post) and I'd ask anyone to please read to the end before downvoting. I've put a lot of time and effort into this post and I don't know what to do about my situation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bit of background info, my parents have a successful marriage and we're a family of 7. A 14-year-old boy (me), 12-year-old girl, 10-year-old boy, 6-year-old girl and infant baby, all except aforesaid baby and myself being homeschooled by our mother. I understand that so many children cause stress on the parental units but I don't feel this is an excuse for being hateful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My good qualities:&lt;/strong&gt; things I feel my parents should be proud of (but they aren't)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I'm an advanced piano player.&lt;/strong&gt; I've submitted work to a studio and it's &quot;likely to show up in some production or other within a year&quot;. But whenever I practice my compositions on the piano I always hear from my mother that it's &quot;sloppy&quot; or &quot;too bangy&quot;.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I'm a good runner.&lt;/strong&gt; I'm a freshman and I'm &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.athletic.net/CrossCountry/Division/List.aspx?DivID=38466&amp;amp;filter=9&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;top 100 in the state of Oregon&lt;/a&gt; (out of over a thousand) for Cross Country. I'm 5th on my team and I have a 5K time of nearly 18 minutes. When I get home from a meet my mom usually ignores me and my dad grills me on my run*.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I get good grades.&lt;/strong&gt; I have a 3.7 GPA. I'm taking Precalculus as a Freshman and I &quot;attend&quot; an online school (which is said to be more challenging as students have to manage their own time). I had a C for about two weeks - my mother threatened to pull me out of school and homeschool me again. My father threatened to put me in a public school.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&#xA;&lt;sup&gt;*To be honest, I appreciate this as it's a good evaluation. But even so...&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My less good qualities:&lt;/strong&gt; Some struggles I have that I feel my parents should be helping me through&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ADHD.&lt;/strong&gt; This is why I don't attend a public school. When I did I talked out in class and distracted the other students. Instead of getting me help, my mother rejected the &quot;idea&quot; that I had ADHD (although an fMRI showed that I did) and just pulled me out of the school.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Depression.&lt;/strong&gt; I haven't suffered from this for many years but I attained it when my mother was abusive. In my current situation I'm pretty sure it's coming back because of how terrible my family life has been for the past few months.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Headaches/migraines.&lt;/strong&gt; I suffer from a medical condition that causes constant headaches and the occasional severe migraine. I can't handle loud noises or unnecessary constant movement, such as that from a small child. My 12-year-old sister constantly prances about, singing and shouting as if she's an 8-year-old. When I &quot;look upon her with disdain&quot; or ask her to calm down my mother rebukes me, saying I can handle it.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The downright crap about me/us:&lt;/strong&gt; Severe trials I've gone through &lt;strong&gt;in the past&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Crimes and court.&lt;/strong&gt; I don't see any need to go into detail but I made a mistake that got me into the juvenile court systems for a few years. I understand that it was stressful to my parents and financially shaking, but I don't think they understand how big of an impact it had on my life too. It has caused quite a lot of trouble but I got no parental support when I needed it the most.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;(previous) pornography 'addiction'.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;em&gt;I haven't had this problem for a year.&lt;/em&gt; We're a religious family in which this is seen as a serious misdoing. I didn't see it on purpose at first but it caused a few years' worth of bad habits. I don't think this has made me a very good person in the eyes of my mother.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Abuse.&lt;/strong&gt; A few years ago my mother was very physically abusive (she isn't anymore). She hit, kicked, pulled hair, etc. I know this hasn't helped our relationship much...&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Other possibly useful information:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I do chores at home.&lt;/strong&gt; I do all the typical chores such as dishes, taking out the trash, and sweeping. But instead of ever being thanked for helping with the family, instead I am criticized about my &quot;bad job&quot; every single time.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I have an advanced social life.&lt;/strong&gt; I don't feel spiteful towards the entire world, just mostly towards my home. I have a supportive girlfriend and some great 'bros' that are always there to listen to/help me through my struggles. But after spending a fun afternoon with friends and returning home my parents will always make me feel down again.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I don't have much self-esteem.&lt;/strong&gt; Due to the constant criticism of my mother and bullies at church, I don't think very highly of myself. I don't do self-harm but I don't see many reasons to esteem myself as a great person.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;After all this, what I'm getting at is: Aside from counseling (which is no longer an option), what can I do to improve my situation at home? Is it normal for parents to treat me this way? If, in the case that the problem lies in me (as I'm constantly hearing), what can I do to improve my relationship with my mother/family?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;: Thanks to everyone for your help! I appreciate all suggestions given. I accepted the answer I did because it contained the advice that seemed to start the most change in my family over the past few days. Thanks for your support!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25360" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2017-03-16T15:47:25.657" LastActivityDate="2016-11-26T10:54:08.003" Title="How to deal with an unsupportive parent" Tags="|teen|emotional-well-being|adhd|self-esteem|depression|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="9" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27855" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-22T09:40:45.363" Score="52" ViewCount="24460" Body="&lt;p&gt;My two kids watch YouTube cartoons, and the younger is a toddler. I try every now and then to see what they are really looking at, but many times they wander to some video I think is not suitable for them, like amateur cartoons with scary faces and stuff like that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is there a way to filter unwanted videos suggested from YouTube? I removed adverts successfully using ad blocker software, but I can't do the same with videos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25364" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2018-08-30T12:18:52.950" LastActivityDate="2018-08-30T12:18:52.950" Title="My kids watch YouTube - how do I control what they see?" Tags="|toddler|internet|media|supervision|" AnswerCount="14" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27856" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-22T13:03:24.777" Score="35" Body="&lt;p&gt;It appears there are some parental controls in YouTube.  Scroll to the bottom of the page and look for something that says &quot;Safety&quot; or &quot;Safety Mode&quot;.  Switch it to on.  You can optionally lock it for the browser as well.  (You may have to be logged in for all of this to work.)  That should enable Google's safe search and do some measure of parental controls.  It doesn't seem to be very customizable, but I haven't played with it that much.  There also seems to be quite a few resources available if you google &quot;youtube parental controls&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you are watching on a tablet or other mobile device, there is a YouTube kids app (&lt;a href=&quot;https://kids.youtube.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://kids.youtube.com/&lt;/a&gt;).  It looks like it has parental controls, time limits, etc.  I've never used it, so I can't say how good all that is, I've just seen it show up in an ad once in a while.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="4087" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T13:03:24.777" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27857" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-22T13:19:18.440" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only solution that has worked for us is to have our son, who is 6 years old, logged into my Google account on YouTube so I can follow his history and block any YouTubers that we don't want him to watch. I have not found a way to block an individual video, but you can block a channel.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Go to the Channels page then &quot;About&quot; then click on the &quot;Flag&quot; and click on &quot;Block user&quot;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2807" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T13:19:18.440" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27858" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-22T13:26:29.733" Score="8" Body="&lt;p&gt;There are alternatives for Youtube that only host content that's safe for children. You might try to search for one of those. I know there is the Dutch &quot;kindertube.nl&quot; and I could find links to &quot;toddlertube.com&quot;, although that seems to be offline.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Alternatively, there might also be some companies and tv-channels that host some of their content online to watch; that should also be safe. Again Dutch, but &quot;nickelodeon.nl&quot; allows watching their shows from their website.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In this situation you might be better off looking for a dedicated website/program to watch the kind of things you want to see, rather than using the generic app for watching all types of video ever made.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13196" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T13:26:29.733" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27859" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27864" CreationDate="2016-11-22T13:30:41.843" Score="2" ViewCount="245" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm trying to learn the do's and dont's of parenting for when my baby comes along, by watching other parents. I'm able to learn a lesson or form a theory on most things except this one area:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The baby in question is almost 3 years old, doesn't go to sleep till 3 or 4 in the night if he sleeps in the afternoon. The afternoon nap happens sometimes when he's awaken early in the morning or is tired out. And it gives the parents a really tough time when it happens. They have to take care of dinner and other things at night and go to office the next day which becomes next to impossible. So what they do, is try their best to not let the baby sleep in the afternoons, no matter how sleepy he gets. So naturally, he gets moody and cries and yells and throws uncontrollable tantrums. Parents have a tough time with that too, but choose this over sleepless nights.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was never for constraining the baby too much, be it about sleeping or eating - as long as its safety/health is not compromised with. Sure, build a schedule early on and stick to it so that the baby's body is also in sync with it. But when and how should I start enforcing the schedule? And at the cost of upsetting the baby this much? Parents certainly cant change their schedules and office hours, either.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The question boils down to &quot;what do i do if the baby's sleep pattern/schedule is different from the parents' even after 2-3 years&quot;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="21986" LastEditorUserId="21986" LastEditDate="2017-04-20T06:32:49.050" LastActivityDate="2017-04-20T06:32:49.050" Title="Child's sleep schedule vs Parents'" Tags="|bedtime|sleep-training|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27860" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-22T14:25:40.957" Score="29" Body="&lt;p&gt;If your kids are using mobile devices, you may find the &lt;a href=&quot;https://kids.youtube.com/&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;YouTube Kids app&lt;/a&gt; to be a viable alternative and a quick solution.  This is only available on Google Play and the iTunes App Store, so Amazon Fire users are out of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The app itself filters the content to suitable material for kids.  You can see more about the app in the &lt;a href=&quot;https://support.google.com/youtubekids/?visit_id=1-636154212713035014-3199417012&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;rd=1#topic=6130504&quot; rel=&quot;noreferrer&quot;&gt;YouTubeKids Parental Guide&lt;/a&gt;.  My 6 year old and 3 year old both use the app and enjoys the content.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;We haven't stumbled across anything that we feel is inappropriate, although it is certainly possible for something to sneak through the filters.  Plus there may be some content that you may feel is not appropriate for your child that may be acceptable to other parents or for older children.  If you do find something you aren't comfortable with, you can still flag inappropriate videos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The other features include disabling the search features, to limit the videos to just what is shown in the home screen.  And my personal favorite is there is an option to enable a timer so you can limit the screen time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7009" LastEditorUserId="7009" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T15:12:31.183" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T15:12:31.183" CommentCount="7" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27861" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-22T14:54:39.353" Score="106" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Watch YouTube with your child&lt;/em&gt;, then you will know what they are watching. A toddler can wander onto something by accident and see something they cannot un-see.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Do not let your toddler wander the Internet alone, it is a very dangerous place.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are no safeguards that are 100% effective at blocking adult material on the Internet, &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;except adult supervision&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;! Some software exists to alleviate some Internet dangers, but there is still no substitute for sitting with your child and watching what they are watching and knowing what they are doing.  By doing this you are guiding them and teaching them good Internet habits, and as they get older you will not have to watch them so closely because you know the habits that you have instilled in them.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3854" LastEditorUserId="4054" LastEditDate="2016-11-29T12:40:51.287" LastActivityDate="2016-11-29T12:40:51.287" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27862" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27854" CreationDate="2016-11-22T15:27:55.650" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is from my personal experience:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To improve your situation at home you can start to be nice with your parents. Help them whenever you can and always wear a smile to them.&#xA;Whenever they criticize you, instead of being upset, ask them advise to get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also you can try to improve your relationship with your sister in this way, resolving the problem of the &quot;singing and shouting&quot;.&#xA;Do not &quot;look upon her with disdain&quot;, let her do and hold on. Since you are older than she is, you can help her with homeworks (improving your relationship with both your sister and your mother - since she has less things to worry about). After some time she'll be nicer and will stop to &quot;sing and shout&quot; when you ask her (always politely).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;About the Pornography 'addiction&lt;/strong&gt;': it's normal, for someone that is 14 yo to visit pornography sites, just try to limit yourself or even ask your parents to help you (sincerely - otherwise it won't work) if you feel enough confident.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;About the Crimes and court&lt;/strong&gt; : by the info you provided we know very little but, since you admitted that you made a mistake, the only way you can do is to show your parents that you feel sorry about that and that you learned the lesson (maybe you already did).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;About the Abuse&lt;/strong&gt; : I suppose this part has stopped, but making feel the &quot;physical&quot; part to your mother could also help.&#xA;I mean that, sometimes, you could hug her, give her a little kiss and so on..&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The problem is never on one side so it's really probable that you all are doing something wrong.&#xA;Make them feel that you are changed, that you really care, and the situation will surely improve. &#xA;I know it's stressful and it's really frustrating, but it's the only way that helped me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I tried to cover as much as possible, I really hope that this answer helped you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best regards and good luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25366" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T15:27:55.650" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27863" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="21921" CreationDate="2016-11-22T18:26:55.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think my parents handled this reasonably well. They did not discuss the drugs exactly, though they said they did not approve.&#xA;I had to pay them back for every class I did not pass and had to pay for the next try, too. IF I passed they'd pay for the next class.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once I was out on my own, school became my own problem and I could no longer afford the drugs if I wanted the education.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So my choices were 1) acting like an adult and paying the price for making my own decisions, or 2) acting like a kid and allowing my parents to tell me what they expected.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T18:26:55.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27864" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27859" CreationDate="2016-11-22T18:39:20.787" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;After a certain age, you can reason with a child. &#xA;&quot;You can stay up but you have to stay in your room, and be quiet.&quot; You take away toys/privileges if you are having to involve yourself. (No TV or computers in bedrooms.) IMO, not arguing is most powerful. The child understands the consequences and you carry through with them without discussion. When it isn't a battle, the kid falls asleep -- perhaps on the floor. As they see that the choice of sleeping in their nice warm bed vs the floor is theirs to make -- most will ultimately choose the bed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Infants are not the same. Many parents have to make concessions while kids are too young to be reasoned with. Some take turns sleeping in the room and cuddling. Some allow the kids to cry themselves to sleep. This is the time to sleep when the kid sleeps. Again, fighting it out just gives the child leverage. Pick your battle. If you have to sleep and the only way you can is to let the kid sleep with you -- don't battle for hours before you reach that conclusion. Battle on weekends when you can afford to not sleep. Give them rewards for staying in their room. Not money-costing rewards -- choices to do things with you that you all like.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are tons of books on the subject. I'd go to the library, read a few over and pick the one you think makes sense. Then buy it and follow through with the plan it suggests.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T18:39:20.787" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27865" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27854" CreationDate="2016-11-22T18:53:56.667" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;This is so difficult because there's no way to understand the entire situation. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will assume that as you are eldest, your parents have certain expectations of you acting like an adult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will also assume that you think you are trying to do just that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The next time you do the right thing and are accused of not doing it well -- act like an adult. Request further data. If my boss was unhappy, I'd ask, &quot;What can I do to improve this?&quot; This may well trigger them to see that you are in fact doing it well. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Actions are the only way to have a person change the way you are perceived. Do things without being asked. Look for ways to help and show that you are acting in a mature manner.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Seriously, this is on you. You show them how great you are and IF they denigrate you, point out that you are trying and ask them how to do it better. You force them to revisit their opinions. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T18:53:56.667" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27866" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-22T18:59:09.113" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;The only answer is to supervise, imo. The TV and computers/tablets are in a common area -- no exceptions. You watch with them or at least you stay in the same area. If they go 'off channel', remove the device.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Sure I get real life isn't like that. It's tough.  You have to parent them and still do all the chores and so sometimes that means they can't watch Youtube.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T18:59:09.113" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27867" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27853" CreationDate="2016-11-22T19:27:29.867" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a former teacher, and am surprised that a teacher would ask this. There are many answers to this one. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Teachers of special needs or very young students have to teach students the ability to sit on a task for longer periods of time. Attention span is a problem for all teachers and his teacher should already know how to help students increase theirs. There are also stickers and so on that tell a parent that the child has earned a privilege at the end of the school day. If there is no sticker or whatever, the special thing doesn't happen. Special things might be drawing with the parent, or anything that isn't food/money or necessary-exercise based. It could be staying up 15 mins later or watching a specific show on TV. The parent doesn't need to say anything more than, &quot;I'm sorry you did not earn the special thing.&quot; No further action is taken or needed. The child IS in charge of that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can help increase your child's attention span. I would try setting a task -- it doesn't have to be hard or nasty -- just one you select. Make it as short as possible. The child earns a token for doing the task.  The next task is slightly longer. SLIGHTLY. Another token. The last task is again slightly longer. Token earned and and enough tokens, buys him/her a special thing. (I like 3 tasks/tokens because even young kids understand 3.) As the days go on the tasks get longer by small degrees until instead of 3 tokens for 3 minutes on tasks, they are earning 3 tokens for thirty minutes on tasks. I would end up with students working for an hour before their tokens bought them the toy/game/free time activity they wanted.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastEditorUserId="25363" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T18:16:08.830" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T18:16:08.830" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27869" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-22T21:00:43.200" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;You don't specify whether this is on a tablet -- but in case it is:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What we do, with our daughter's tablet, is to use an app called &quot;Kids Place&quot; to &quot;fence them in&quot; within a kid-safe environment. There is a further app called &quot;Kids video&quot; in which you can list specific allowed videos -- from Youtube or locally on the tablet. This works extremely well, and our daughter knows how to access what she wants by herself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This of course in no way precludes &lt;em&gt;watching YouTube with your child&lt;/em&gt; as @Malachi so wisely suggests. You can do both, or either (or neither).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2693" LastActivityDate="2016-11-22T21:00:43.200" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27870" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27883" CreationDate="2016-11-23T00:23:54.037" Score="9" ViewCount="420" Body="&lt;p&gt;My brother and his ex-wife separated a year and a half ago. They are both over it and would never get back together. They have a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy whose custody they've shared without much conflict since then. The kids, while certainly affected, remain fairly happy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Now, my brother plans to take the kids to a theme park for a weekend. Last time they were at one the family was still complete and happy, and they all had a wonderful time and share a great memory of it. So, inevitably, the idea of inviting his ex to come along with them has crossed my brother's mind, in hopes of giving their kids one more (and probably last) memorable childhood experience shared with &lt;em&gt;both&lt;/em&gt; their parents. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But here's his (and everyone else's) obvious doubt: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Is it a good idea at all? Or it would only confuse their kids and create the chance of ruining the experience for all?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your insights!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;UPDATE (after replies): For the record, finally the mum joined her ex and children, and everything went perfectly well - as it should. So… Success! and no regrets.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25371" LastEditorUserId="25371" LastEditDate="2017-08-21T09:28:40.787" LastActivityDate="2017-08-21T09:28:40.787" Title="Couple separated 18 months ago (irremediably), sharing custody of two children. Good or bad idea to share weekend experience together with the kids?" Tags="|activities|middle-childhood|separation|family-activities|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="2" FavoriteCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27872" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27812" CreationDate="2016-11-23T01:35:20.440" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;It called &quot;Functional Behavior Analysis&quot; (FBA) which can easily be looked up online.  The ABC (Antecedent, Behavior, and Consequence) approach is used to evaluate behavior.  It will look at what happens before the behavior and after the behavior to determine if there are patterns and why the child is behaving in the manner show.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting to the root of the problem or seeing results would be on a case-by-case basis. Like the scientific method, a hypothesis is developed and tested, if the results are not what is expected the hypothesis is modified or replaced and tested again (all until results of some sort are achieved).  The specialist would develop a Behavior Intervention Plan that describes in detail the behavior change that is desired and how to achieve that change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The behavior specialist begins with a form (chart) that steps them and the parent(s) through the process.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The behavior must be replaced, it cannot simply be removed (in this case talking).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some environmental issues would be examined in these processes, such as: Is there a sibling speaking for them?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Assessment&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some of the things seen:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Functional behavior assessment is based upon the following assumptions:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;challenging behaviors do not occur in a vacuum; there is a reason for their occurrence&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;behaviors occur in response to an identifiable stimuli (event)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;behaviors are governed (weakened or strengthened) by the consequences that follow them&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;behavior is a form of communication (i.e., educators need to figure out what a particular behavior is communicating. The displayed action might be saying, in a non-verbal fashion; &quot;I am tired.&quot;, &quot;I am bored.&quot;, &quot;I'm still upset at what happened earlier&quot;, etc.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;misbehavior&quot; might actually be adaptive (justifiable and understandable) given the circumstances. For example, in a classroom in which the teacher is a ineffective manager of student behavior, the student of concern might engage in &quot;inappropriate&quot; actions designed to bond with, and offer protection from bullies.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this particular case, the &quot;misbehavior&quot; could be designed to avoid victimization by other students in the presence of the non-protective teacher.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;NOTE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is a summary of information between myself (a programmer) and a special education teacher that I know.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14672" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T01:35:20.440" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27873" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-23T02:31:38.143" Score="12" ViewCount="18145" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 6 year old daughter is amazing in many ways - she is smart, creative, likes school, gets along well at school, is independent...on her good days.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I'm really struggling with her at home. Her teacher says &quot;she's a friend to everyone&quot; at school, but at home, I feel like she is defiant, disrespectful, manipulative and a bully. She basically makes my life a living hell when she does not cooperate.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Specifically, she is defiant. When she is in this &quot;behavior twilight zone,&quot; she will ignore instructions/requests to follow rules like &quot;stop running in the house&quot; or &quot;stop screaming like a chicken.&quot; She will yell &quot;No!&quot; sometimes, if she feels like being defiant, even for perfectly reasonable things. Trying to engage her in a conversation is infuriating because she won't answer even polite questions about why she won't put on her jacket in the freezing weather. She will do things incredibly slowly (it seems like it's just to annoy me) when we need to go someplace. About half the time she behaves like this defiant demon and the other half of the time, she is motivated and perfectly, independently capable of getting out the door for school, for example. That's why I can't figure it out. Who is this child? Is she a nice, smart girl? or a deeply disturbed psychopath?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that sleepiness and hunger can be major causes of this type of behavior in her, but even accounting for that, she seems to behave so poorly sometimes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I try to respond to her behavior with negative consequences, she has huge meltdowns. Now, I know you're probably thinking: what child DOESN'T have meltdowns when they don't get what they want? Well, her meltdowns can last hours and she is persistent. She begs and begs &quot;Give me another chance&quot; but the whole hour leading up to this point, she was whining and manipulative and then as soon as you give her another chance, it will be another hour of dealing with that behavior (don't worry, I recognize these moments and rarely give in, BUT I'M RUNNING OUT OF STEAM). Also, often during these meltdowns, she will flail around on the floor and make horrible sobbing sounds. She will often tap an arm or leg on a piece of furniture and then use that as an excuse to melt down further. She often drools and lets her snot run down her face for dramatic effect. I know that when she taps her arm or leg it's not serious because I'm standing right there...it could just be a brush against a cup or something that could never in a million years hurt someone, but she uses it to escalate this terrible scene.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;To make matters worse, I find that I have an actual physical sensitivity to sound (it is stronger at certain parts of the day) that make the whining and crying and screaming almost unbearable (on top of the regular discomfort of having to listen to a six year old whine non stop for hours).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The worst part, though, is how verbally abusive she is. She says incredibly rude and hurtful things, sometimes without realizing it. However, even when we try to talk to her about it, it's like she doesn't understand that she could possibly hurt anyone's feelings. In particular, she makes comments about my cooking. Every. Single. Night. And yes, we are poor, so we can't afford to eat out EVER and I do actually slave in the kitchen for hours trying to prepare healthy and tasty meals that my husband and children will eat, so it really hurts my feelings when she says the food is &quot;disgusting.&quot; (It's not disgusting, but just for the sake of this post, if you don't believe me, just pretend you do). Other times, she just talks to me in very disrespectful ways. My husband and I are pretty good about addressing it right away, but talking to her is not working. It is clear that she is ignoring us while we're talking or distracts herself so she doesn't have to listen. On top of all this, we have two younger kids, whom she is often responsible for &quot;riling up&quot; by chasing them around the house or starting games that encourage rough housing, etc. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I try very hard to squash this bad behavior right away and my husband tries to do so as well, but some nights I have to check out because I'm so upset and I don't want to also become verbally abusive to her. I will just signal to my husband that I've had enough and go watch tv on my computer alone for hours. Those nights, he has to get them bathed and put to bed, which is something we normally do together. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I know that some of her bad behavior developed after I had the twins (they are 4 years old) and I struggled with depression and anxiety and PMDD for 3 years after they were born, but I have received treatment and therapy for my issues and have always been proactive in dealing with her behavioral issues. I even had her in therapy but she was so well behaved that we were &quot;discharged&quot; so to speak. It seems like recently her attitude has gotten intolerable and she has really hurt my feelings a couple of times recently. I tell her that she's being rude and that it's not appropriate but then I end up isolating myself and crying about it and I feel really stupid for that. I'm worried that she is a trigger for my depression and anxiety. To be honest, before I had the twins, she wasn't a super easy child, but my confidence was in tact. After, her behavior has caused me to feel so bad about myself that if she weren't my daughter but just someone I knew, I would cut her out of my life entirely, but I obviously don't want to do that to my own daughter, who I love. I already resent her for some of this. Help me find a way to cope!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25373" LastActivityDate="2018-01-27T03:48:13.423" Title="6 year old daughter: a bully? manipulative? sensitive? or just difficult?" Tags="|behavior|discipline|" AnswerCount="6" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27875" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-23T04:01:15.667" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;You Could create a very huge playlist for them and start it with auto play and with Adfree extension for them and then disable the mouse/Touchpad from the PC. It will be a bit hard to enable it back but you can use an external mouse to enable the touch pad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25376" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T04:01:15.667" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27876" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27873" CreationDate="2016-11-23T04:01:34.677" Score="16" Body="&lt;p&gt;You have my sympathy. Your daughter sounds like more than a handful. To answer your question, your daughter is difficult. She might even be defiant, disrespectful, manipulative and a bully. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;But she is six years old. You are the adult. Children test their parents. It's up to the parents to decide that they aren't going to fall for that manipulative behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm a physician. I made an iffy call on one of my best friends in the ER (it's a long story). Two days later she presented in congestive heart failure from the massive MI she vehemantly wouldn't let me test her for (and I therefore missed.) I cried about it (mostly alone) for weeks. She became what we call a cardiac cripple (a terrible fate of some MI sufferers.) My eldest was a sponge and accustomed to medical talk. One time months later I was rebuking him for something he felt defensive about. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&quot;It's not like I killed my best friend,&quot; he said. I looked at him with a mixture of awe and a bit of sorrow. &quot;You're trying to hurt me,&quot; I simply said. &quot;it was a good try.&quot; I didn't rebuke him. He was pushing. It happens. How often depends in part on how successful it is.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I can't address your daughter's behavior (hopefully others will.) But I believe you may feel things more deeply than is good for both (or all) of you. I would suggest you start in therapy to see why a six-year-old has so much power over you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When you've explored this with a good therapist (it might mean you &quot;shop around&quot;), I think you'll be better able to understand her behavior, take it for what it is, and set reasonable limits on it consistently that might be more effective in bringing about a desired change. If she can't elicit strong reactions (spoken or unspoken) from you, her tactics will change.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In the meantime, I would recommend a book called 1-2-3-Magic. No arguing, no pleading, no bargaining, just a reward system for self control and time outs for lack if it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;(I also find the idea of a therapist ignoring your concerns strange. Most trust the parent.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T22:52:08.053" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T22:52:08.053" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27877" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27873" CreationDate="2016-11-23T04:31:57.313" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;Maybe you are not giving her the attention she used to get before you had the twins. &#xA;Give her more time, play with her but do not take any bullying from her, Be strict when she is rude or she misbehave. and do not fell for her drama and be strict on your decision. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you can afford it try living in another country like a middle east country or a developing country like Pakistan, SriLanka, Or India just for a couple of years like before your daughter becomes a teenager. But this is not a practical solution for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25376" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T04:31:57.313" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27878" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27853" CreationDate="2016-11-23T05:27:42.083" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;My answer will be for the U.S.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You can request a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA).  This can be the basis for a Positive Behavior Intervention Plan (PBIP).  &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.pbis.org/common/cms/files/pbisresources/EfficientFBA_FACTS.pdf&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt; is something to give you an idea how it's done.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The idea behind these is to shift from reacting to the student and his misbehavior, to planning and implementing changes in the environment.  Hopefully your district has a behavioral specialist who can support the teacher in finding more positive ways of dealing with these challenges.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The FBA can identify environmental triggers for disruptive behavior, such as feeling hungry, sensory overload, getting overexcited from recess or P.E., sitting still too long, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'm glad to hear that the teacher is reaching out to involve you.  It can be helpful to do some brainstorming on your own, and then with your child, and jot down ideas about what might make school easier for him to handle.  Here are some things that helped, or would have helped my son at that age:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide something to sit on other than the carpet (the occupational therapist can help with this)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take a break every 40 minutes or so.  Get some extra physical exercise.  (The assistant in my son's kindergarten class would take my son and another little jumping bean down to the gym to do some extra running around.)&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide more interesting classwork.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide more hands-on activities.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Offer the child the opportunity to choose between meaningful alternatives.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Choose a primary goal for your son to work on.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Create a cozy, inviting corner in the classroom that your child can visit on his own initiative, voluntarily, if he wants to rest and get more inwardly focused.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Create a signal to remind the child about a certain behavior, so as to avoid using the child's name in a negative tone.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide some non-verbal ways to participate in group discussions.  Group discussions and lengthy teacher explanations can be really hard to handle when you're five and you're energetic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Provide some special responsibilities, for example set up and distribute snack.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It can be very difficult for an over-participator not to inadvertently obstruct an outside presenter's work.  But if we ask the presenter to arrive early and get to know the over-participator before beginning the presentation, it might be possible for the presenter to incorporate the over-participator in the presentation.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You might find it helpful to observe your child in school for a chunk of time.  It's best to make an appointment to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you have time, you might even want to volunteer in the classroom from time to time, to get more of a feel for the dynamics.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another idea, if there's another place your child could be safely cared for, would be to reduce your child's school schedule, on a temporary basis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once a child and a teacher get into a negative way of interacting with each other, things can get ingrained, and it can be hard to turn things around.  We found that it was very positive for the behavior specialist to get involved, because the teacher was more open to ideas coming from her colleague than from the parent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my son's case, what turned things around in kindergarten was to collect some donated board games to keep in the classroom.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your child needs to be positively engaged in school, and the school needs to adjust the environment so that he's not so often a square peg that they're trying to make fit into a round hole.  Do you see why an observation can be so helpful?  You know your child well.  An observation can help you identify the ways the classroom environment is problematic for him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note about the process of the FBA.  (By the way, this isn't &quot;educational testing&quot; in the way intelligence testing or achievement testing or evaluating for ADHD or anything like that; however, the parent would need to sign consent.)   It's basically a matter of the classroom teacher, the P.E. teacher, the music teacher, the school librarian, the cafeteria supervisor, etc., all noting down any problem behaviors that may have been observed, and at what times of day and in what situations the problems occur more frequently, so that patterns can be teased out. A school psychologist would make one or more observations.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some states in the U.S. mandate that an FBA be done whenever a student's behavior interferes with his own learning or that of others; other states call for it to be &lt;em&gt;considered&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2017-12-19T12:45:23.977" LastActivityDate="2017-12-19T12:45:23.977" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27879" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27854" CreationDate="2016-11-23T06:05:42.450" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Well, first I'd suggest you give counseling a chance.  There are lots of ways this can be arranged, including working with someone at school, such as a social worker.  It helped me not take things so personally.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Talking regularly with a counselor can also be helpful for a person's self-esteem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, model the behavior you'd like to receive.  Compliment your siblings when they do something helpful, e.g. &quot;I'm so glad you washed those dishes.  That was a big help.&quot;  You can model compliments you'd like to hear from your mom as well: &quot;Mom, it feels good to make a positive contribution/that dinner was delicious/Thank you for cooking/ etc.&quot;  Don't despair if you get a suspicious reaction the first few times.  Just keep projecting a positive, cheerful attitude, and eventually, hopefully, your parents will take it in the positive spirit it's intended, and start speaking this way to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, pick one thing that's hurtful that your parents do or say, and let them know that it hurts.  Pick a nice neutral time to let them know, and keep your voice as neutral as possible.&lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, you might want to negotiate a non-butting-in policy regarding your piano practice.  You can explain, &quot;When I'm practicing piano, for me to get the most benefit, I need to be completely in my zone, without interference or distractions.  How about if we pick one day a week when you can sit nearby and give me all the constructive feedback you like, and the other days, you find a project to do at the other end of the house, so my banging doesn't make you itch to come tell me what's wrong with my playing?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Similarly, you could invite your parents to tell you their top priority for a change in behavior they would like to see in you.  Then see if you can give them the desired change, at least to some extent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;These mutual accommodations can be the basis for rebuilding trust in each other.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You seem to have a lot of self-awareness and a good ability to analyze and explain things.  These are great strengths to have.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;With regard to the bullies at church, please try to find an adult at church you trust enough to inform what's going on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Lastly, keep in mind that adolescence is a difficult transition; and that some kind of equilibrium with your parents will come sooner or later, even if you decide not to try any of my suggestions, and even if you try some but they don't turn out to be helpful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;1 My older son told me recently that it hurts him to hear me comment to others on the phone about his job hunting not going well. I sincerely did not mean to hurt him with these comments. He showed me that I was actually being inconsiderate and I've been careful since then.&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T14:46:42.750" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T14:46:42.750" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27880" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-23T06:17:07.067" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;In addition to the good ideas already mentioned (keep computer in public area, watch with your child when possible, and install a child safety filter), I recommend disabling Youtube on the child's account, and downloading videos you are comfortable allowing the child to watch on his or her own.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T06:17:07.067" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27881" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27873" CreationDate="2016-11-23T06:51:30.820" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest you start by getting a mental health evaluation for your daughter. Ask your daughter's primary care provider for a referral so it will be covered by health insurance. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Your daughter's mishaps with the knee bumping the chair may indicate the need for a sensory profile as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Once you know what, if any, mental health or neurological conditions your daughter has, it will be much easier for your to deal with them.  Certainly that was my experience with my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It sounds like the time-outs you give yourself are not ideally structured; they're not giving you the quick respite you need to be able to re-enter the fray in a better state of mind.  Is there something else you could do instead during your time-out?  Perhaps go for a walk around the neighborhood?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;While you're waiting for the evaluation, I have three suggestions for you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;First, write down a concise list of the behaviors that drive you nuts, and pick at most three to concentrate on at this time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Second, you will need to temporarily detach yourself emotionally from your daughter.  You'll have to play-act the professional caretaker.  A governess would not cry when the child says nasty things.  Do not allow your ego to be affected by anything hurtful your daughter says.  You need to protect yourself so that you can be a strong, civilizing influence in your daughter's life.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Third, withhold all attention whenever your daughter whines.  The flip side of this is that when she speaks to you with a voice you want to hear, make sure to tell her you like that voice -- even if she's disagreeing with you while she's using it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Over time you will be able to add more rules to the collection.  However, only add rules you are going to have the energy to enforce consistently.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If she complains about her food, gently but firmly take away her plate. Tell her she doesn't have to eat if she doesn't like it. Be very neutral in your tone of voice if you have to do this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T14:15:30.890" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T14:15:30.890" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27882" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27870" CreationDate="2016-11-23T08:32:30.417" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'm not an expert but I lived this situation myself.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;As far as the parents hang out well, and never argue, that's ok, otherwise it'll turn good days into nightmares ( the chance of ruining the experience is there, so if it's a violent separation I would avoid this experience ) .&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, in my opinion, doing this kind of experience too many times in a row could confuse the kids so it's better to limit these occasions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;They could just give it a try, for once, and then decide.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hope that I helped, best regards&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25366" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T08:32:30.417" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27883" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27870" CreationDate="2016-11-23T08:55:21.020" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I wouldn't beat around the bush.  Tell them straight what is happening.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At ages 12 and 10 the children are certainly old enough to understand that their parents want them to have a great time on a holiday together.  They can be told that it's not about their parents getting back together, just about having a good experience and building good memories.  Nothing more.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This will also help the children in later life as it will help them see that sometimes, you can be friends with someone you used to be more with, something very few people seem to get in my experience.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And if all else fails, heed the advice of Mrs Doubtfire:  You know, some parents, when they're angry, they get along much better when they don't live together. They don't fight all the time, and they can become better people, and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don't, dear. And if they don't, don't blame yourself. Just because they don't love each other anymore, doesn't mean that they don't love you. There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country - and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months... even years at a time. But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="16168" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T08:55:21.020" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27884" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-23T11:01:26.450" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;To see what's been watched in the past, YouTube does keep a history of all the videos watched by a particular Google account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just make sure that you're logged in to Google/YouTube using the same account as your child and then go here to see the saved viewing history:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/feed/history&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;https://www.youtube.com/feed/history&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25382" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T11:01:26.450" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27885" PostTypeId="5" CreationDate="2016-11-23T13:51:39.233" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;YouTube&lt;/a&gt; is streaming service owned by Google. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25364" LastEditorUserId="25364" LastEditDate="2016-11-24T09:41:31.303" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T09:41:31.303" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27886" PostTypeId="4" CreationDate="2016-11-23T13:51:39.233" Score="0" Body="used when question is related to popular video streaming service" OwnerUserId="25364" LastEditorUserId="25364" LastEditDate="2016-11-24T09:18:29.817" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T09:18:29.817" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27887" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27870" CreationDate="2016-11-23T13:54:15.163" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I would suggest a trial run when the stakes aren't so high, in other words for a shorter, less expensive outing.  (Something with less potential for disaster and less emotional thrill payoff, in other words.)  If that goes well, then everyone can feel more confident heading into the weekend theme park outing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It seems unlikely that there is enough time available between now and the special weekend to do that in a comfortable way.  Therefore my answer would be no, it is premature to include the mother for this particular outing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Another aspect of this is that the threesome (kids, father) need an opportunity to do some special bonding together to find their new equilibrium with each other.  A special outing like this could be a great opportunity to do that.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One last consideration is that while surprises are nice, it is also good to look for opportunities for a child to be involved in decision making.  Obviously there are some decisions that a child can't be involved in -- such as whether to separate, whether to live together, whether to marry, whether to divorce.  But whether to go to XX Park together -- eventually, after the shorter trial run has been gotten through successfully -- this strikes me as a decision a child could be permitted to have a voice in.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One good way of doing that (next time around) would be to reveal the special outing in advance, and then wait and see if kids ask if they can invite mother.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastEditorUserId="14336" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T19:48:10.867" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T19:48:10.867" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27888" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-23T14:28:07.097" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;Depending on what browser you/they are using, you can write an Adblock Plus filter to hide the suggestions sidebar on YouTube. This isn't possible with Internet Explorer, but is possible with either Chrome or Firefox.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The filter to use is &lt;code&gt;youtube.com##div#watch7-sidebar-contents&lt;/code&gt; - this will remove the suggested videos and &quot;up next&quot; video (make sure that YouTube autoplay is disabled as well). You can also remove the comments section with &lt;code&gt;youtube.com##div#watch-discussion&lt;/code&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;hr&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;EDIT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that the filter that I've given will not remove the playlist part of the sidebar if they're watching a YouTube playlist. This will allow them to see what videos are in a playlist, but may also expose them to inappropriate content depending on the playlist in question (a harmless video could be combined in a playlist with an inappropriate video, and sometimes people (or even Google) link to a playlist instead of a single video) - note that removing the playlist display wouldn't stop the playlist from playing anyway, they just wouldn't be able to see the list of videos.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also note that the filters will need updating if YouTube changes their site.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25387" LastEditorUserId="25387" LastEditDate="2016-11-23T14:35:59.983" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T14:35:59.983" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27890" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27873" CreationDate="2016-11-23T16:31:34.000" Score="3" Body="&lt;p&gt;I do think you and your daughter need to get some professional help. I am not saying this to be unkind, but because no one over the internet can give your the answers you seek. We can make suggestions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will stick with my comment. When you allow your child to pick the battle, you are in for a fight that may or may not have any basis in reality.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;You said she complains about meals. If you know that she is just picking nits -- either completely ignore her comments and redirect the conversation to another topic (I'd never suggest not talking to your child), or provide her with another option. &quot;You can make cereal, if you like.&quot; Be careful with food battles. This is an excellent reason to see a professional.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A reward system can work. The child earns a happy face on a chart for every 15 minutes they are acting with a minimum of courteous behaviour. You do not want to be too critical in the beginning because her success is yours, too.This earns her something she likes, like the TV or an extra activity -- perhaps you draw with her without her siblings, or you read to only her. Plenty of parents have had to remove the TV and other electronics from availability. Yes, it is a hassle and yes it affects everyone, but a little peer pressure won't necessarily hurt. Just don't allow a situation where everyone is against your daughter. The sibs can also go on the same reward system -- in fact, they should.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This won't be easy but you have to grow a thicker skin. Everytime you leave your hub to deal, you are telling the kid that she won and punishing the only other person who understands. So try rewards and just not arguing. No audience and your daughter will soon stop. She wins when she makes you mad or upset.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I will also warn you that once you decide on a course of action you have to stick with it and that -- it will definitely get worse before it gets better. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Best of luck.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T16:31:34.000" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27891" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="8657" CreationDate="2016-11-23T18:07:46.883" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I think that most parents and children see timeout as punitive. &quot;I'll put you in time out!&quot; is often heard as a threat.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I prefer redirection and/or rewards to timeout, for young kids 4 and under. For the more mature, I prefer that they lose a privilege.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Little kids need a timeout with the caregiver, so it isn't truly timeout. It's a redirection. &quot;We do not throw toys. So we will sit on the step for 2 minutes and then we will put away the toy.&quot;  Then you do that, and allow them to select another toy. The toy that was thrown, goes into a basket/closet/away for a set period. You decide if that's a few minutes, an hour,a day or a week depending on age and severity of the  problem. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Even very young children can understand the word 'no'. If you cannot explain, be consistent. Be careful not to overreact just because you are tired or the child has been having a rough day. Remember you are modeling (to an extremely observant sponge!) problem-solving and the way to deal with things that don't go the way we want them to. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T18:07:46.883" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27892" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-23T18:14:23.310" Score="7" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am assuming small children, maybe 6-10 years.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;EDIT: I missed the&lt;/em&gt; &lt;code&gt;toddler&lt;/code&gt; &lt;em&gt;tag. I will let this answer stand as it is for the time when your children are 6-10 years old. I would strongly suggest to never ever let toddlers (1-3) view Youtube alone.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Technical answer: Linux solution&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;My kids watch Youtube, how to monitor what they see?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did that myself for a while. I installed a Linux machine which acted as enforced http proxy for her windows machine. To do that:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ul&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Install Squid on the Linux machine.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Configure your internet router so her Windows PC cannot access the internet directly.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Configure the Windows PC so it uses the Linux machine (squid) as proxy.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Configure squid to log all accesses.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Hence I had a log of all URLs she ever accessed. Then I wrote a little script which parsed that log file, looked at all Youtube URLs, added the titles of the respective videos, and sent all of that to a handy HTML page. We now have a HTML page per day with video title + link, which can be quickly checked if in doubt.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Note that depending on your country you better tell the other person that you are regularly monitoring them...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note: this worked a few years ago. These days, Youtube uses SSL and the video URLs are no longer visible to a normal proxy. This means that today one would need to get more creative - create a man-in-the-middle situation, or try to configure a true reverse proxy with no SSL &quot;inside&quot;. I have not tried this and do not know if it is possible, or how effective Youtube is for enforcing its SSL. So, as of 2016, take this recipe with a bit of salt.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Parental answer: maybe?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think it is not a good idea to give young children full freedom and then have nagging doubts every day. Especially if I would see my child quickly close browser tabs / clear browser history everytime I enter the room, that would be an absolute no-no.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No matter what kind of content they can find online, the much more important issue is trust between you and them. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It must be 100% clear that they can do what they do because you trust them. So you must have a way to let them know what the boundaries are, and you must feel like your trust is justified. The moment they cannot convince you that you can 100% trust them, it must be over.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So, if you are maybe not so technically inclined, do yourself a favour, and handle this like every other parenting issue. If they are not able to freely and happily chat with you about what they have youtube'd today, then they have no place using YT on their own. If you find them obviously uncomfortable when you enter the room while they YT, then it should be over, really. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I did what I did because I had the Linux box and Squid already in place and was whitelisting the websites she could watch alone (plus the server was on at certain times per day also, so there was no fighting about that either). Youtube came relatively late, and I mainly wanted to check for major problems; I relatively quickly got rid of my special Youtube script because everything seemed to be quite OK, and I saw no reason for further monitoring. She of course knew from the start that I was doing it, and it was no problem for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I try every now and then to see what they are really looking at but many times they wander to some video I think it's not suitable for them like amateur cartoons with scary faces and stuff like that. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Well, you have to ask yourself how much &quot;not suitable&quot; that is. Cartoons with scary faces might be borderline; what about videos with mutilations, corpses, racist stuff, subtle psycho horror movies or just random bullsh*t? I would certainly not want them to see that everytime I leave the room.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Check the browser history together&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;A mixture of both approaches: have regular sitdowns with your children, and go through their browser history together. Let them tell you what they liked best, re-watch some clips together, maybe. If you see some that you find unwholesome, tell them that they should not watch that anymore.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you do that, and find an erased browser history, you know what that means...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="24863" LastEditorUserId="24863" LastEditDate="2016-11-27T20:27:55.383" LastActivityDate="2016-11-27T20:27:55.383" CommentCount="8" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27893" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27815" CreationDate="2016-11-23T18:25:58.737" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I also have a child who needs to drink a lot for health reasons, including a tendency towards constipation. What helped for her was gamifying her water intake. We'd send her to school with a large water bottle and challenge her to have finished it by the time we picked her up. We would always ask about it when picking her up from school, and if it wasn't quite done say something like &quot;Uh, oh, you better drink it up quick in the car before we get home and 'officially' check it!&quot; We also put it on her chore chart, so she would get a star or smiley face or whatever she was into at the time for drinking all her water.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="7823" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T18:25:58.737" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27896" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27164" CreationDate="2016-11-23T19:46:45.713" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If I understood right, the trigger for these screams has to do with sibling conflicts.  A great book for understanding and working on sibling conflicts is &lt;em&gt;Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too&lt;/em&gt; by Faber and Mazlish.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I recommend watching the two children carefully, so you can intervene and model some more effective ways of dealing with sibling conflicts.  Hopefully before the scream starts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;At your grand-nephew's age you may also establish a rule about screaming.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14336" LastActivityDate="2016-11-23T19:46:45.713" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27898" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27477" CreationDate="2016-11-24T01:41:25.793" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;I deleted my first answer. I'm sorry if it was insulting. I'm rewriting because I think I'm in a helping position. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are some questions to ask yourself before seeking help because it will give you an idea of where to go first.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;1. Is this a mental illness?&lt;/em&gt; For instance, trying to reason with an unmedicated first-break schizophrenic is mostly a waste of time. If it's obvious someone is severely impaired across the board, you might seek a psychiatrist first. However, major mental illness seems highly unlikely in your case. The three major areas of functioning in youth are home, school, and social. Illness requires at least 2 of the 3 to be affected. That's a good sign she has only one affected &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;2. What is your goal?&lt;/em&gt; &quot;&quot;I want my little girl back&quot; is not a good goal. It's too ambiguous and most parents lament this across the board. You have to think about this hard.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;3. What is the risk?&lt;/em&gt; Although statistics vary because of the inherent difficulties collecting data, girls 12-17 have a tendency to become acutely dysphoric and invade the medicine cabinet, taking whatever they find. This baseline rate is 2-12% of the American population, lets call it 5 %, but I would bet its higher. (The rate of boys is one-tenth as high, but the lethality is four times greater.) Fortunately, its really hard to kill yourself in a medication-cabinet overdose.  Deaths occur rarely, but even an attempt I would call a bad outcome. The rate of suicide attempt triples in traumatized women. That's the risk. You don't want a young, female, trauma victim to get worse. This is purely statistical, and hopefully this is never something that happens in your life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;4. Is this a grief issue?&lt;/em&gt; This is your best-case scenario. Any textbook or internet search will define for you the stages of grief. These are ubiquitous; its amazing that any human behavior can be consistent from person to person (excluding the sociopaths). Increases in structure and exercise and time should be sufficient with or without therapy. The longer one is in pain for, the more likely they are to seek professional help. In the treatment of grief, professional help is usually successful with minimal risk. I don't agree with the parenting model that forces a 12-yo into mental health treatment with absence of illness, but my reasoning is complicated and I have no statistics to rely on.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;5. Is this an interpersonal problem?&lt;/em&gt; Maybe Op's daughter's dad is an irreplaceable force in her life. She needs to be able to trust her mom, but every time she talks to her mom, from her perspective, the task gets pawned off to a therapist. This is a terrible fight; if you win the battle you'll lose the war of her trust; then look out, you've got real problems. There is absolutely nothing wrong going to family counseling; it will show you take her seriously. And it will allow you both to heal, together. If you're going to go to a therapist, this is the only one that makes sense to me. No, no parent wants to be told by anyone that 100% of their decisions aren't 100% correct. This is your burden for the benefit of your child. And you already have so much on your plate...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;6. Is this due to trauma?&lt;/em&gt; Trauma counseling is by far the most difficult form of mental health treatment. More than bipolar disorder, more than schizophrenia, the risks are high, the behaviors unpredictable, and the general rule is victims entering treatment will get worse before they get better.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are two phases of trauma care. In the first phase, there is need for safety, stability, and consistency. Is the loss of income going to make you homeless?. &quot;Its going to be OK&quot; is a powerful tool to use for widowed parents. Long term recovery involves remodulating ones nervous system. Exercise, exercise, exercise. Meds help, but without a healthy lifestyle, its just another pill to have in the cabinet.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In conclusion:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Talk to your daughter, listen to what she has to say, and put all the options on the table&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Exercise is the only thing you don't have to choose carefully&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Consider a reward system at home. Money works. How about $1 for every hour between 3 and 10 ahe behaves M-F. At best that's $35 a week, a healthy allowance.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Decide what kind of treatment you want. I would STRONGLY caution against trauma-based individual therapy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Prayer helps, seriously&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Good luck&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="20507" LastEditorUserId="20507" LastEditDate="2016-11-24T04:14:31.347" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T04:14:31.347" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27899" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27906" CreationDate="2016-11-24T05:37:34.143" Score="2" ViewCount="776" Body="&lt;p&gt;The child is 3.6 years old, and it is not her fault that she dislikes wearing school uniform daily.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;It doesn't have anything to do with comfort. It is all about wearing the same boring stuff daily.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is currently enrolled in pre-nursery which lasts for 3 hours. The school has enforced the uniform.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Daily morning she cries and begs us not make her wear the uniform. She also stays in the daycare there and they do change her clothes after the school is over.&lt;br&gt;&#xA;I do tell her daily that it is the matter of 3 hours, and then she will be wearing something else, but this doesn't help. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;How to deal with the pre schooler who hates wearing uniform daily, &lt;em&gt;without candies&lt;/em&gt;?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Country: India&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="2221" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T16:50:46.350" Title="How to deal with the pre schooler who hates wearing uniform daily?" Tags="|pre-schooler|clothes|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27901" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-24T12:08:03.317" Score="0" ViewCount="72" Body="&lt;p&gt;If someone who is recently having chickenpox (2-3 day) ,comes in contact with me (I have already had it in past). Can the virus comes in my body again? Most importantly can virus enter in to third person through me? &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25407" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T12:12:06.490" Title="chickenpox virus" Tags="|personality|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="0" ClosedDate="2016-11-24T13:36:31.020" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27902" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27901" CreationDate="2016-11-24T12:12:06.490" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;According to &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/infections/a5542/am-i-infectious-after-contact-with-chickenpox/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;this site&lt;/a&gt; the answer is &quot;no&quot; you aren't going to be infectious.  In part this is because once you get chicken pox you will always have some of the virus in you for the rest of your life.  Later in life the virus can become re-activated and is called shingles.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Getting a fresh exposure to chicken pox should not have any effect on your status as a carrier though.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14732" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T12:12:06.490" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27903" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27905" CreationDate="2016-11-24T14:51:29.483" Score="6" ViewCount="1386" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 5-year-old son had been coming home for several days (eight at that point) in distress because one political candidate was &quot;evil&quot; and the other was &quot;good&quot;.  The views he was embracing did not match those of my family and the best word I am able to come up with is that he was in &quot;distress&quot;.  He couldn't figure out how to handle two such different belief systems. My son's distress has been showing as crying fits, dropping to the ground when discussions about candidates are discussed.  He is truly in anguish at times. We have had several conversations with my son over accepting different beliefs and finding the good in everyone ... and believe we are on the right track with him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I called the principal of my son's school to schedule an appointment because of &quot;some issues that have come up since the election.&quot;  Later, I learned that she went straight to the teacher and had the teacher contact us. My son specifically told us it was his teacher telling him who was &quot;evil&quot; and who was &quot;good&quot;.  I do realize that he is five (5) and this may be unreliable information, but it was the teacher we were worried about when calling the principal. My bigger concern is that we have a principal that went to the teacher, who may have been doing something inappropriate / wrong, and that now she knows who it was that turned her in (my son). By the way, I did have to call back in to actually get an appointment with the principal (she never contacted us).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I was a teacher for over a decade, my wife is a teacher, and my mother has been in education for over 40 years.  This was all thoroughly discussed before approaching anyone.  To this point, none of us have had to &quot;pull out the education card.&quot;  At no point has anyone at the school claimed to know any more than we do ... the conversations have been good and hopefully beneficial to my son.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What to do after the principal broke our confidence and told the teacher who turned her in?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14672" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-09-27T12:35:53.627" LastActivityDate="2019-09-27T12:35:53.627" Title="What to do when the school principal breaks our confidence?" Tags="|primary-schooler|school|teacher|" AnswerCount="1" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27904" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27873" CreationDate="2016-11-24T15:10:26.323" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;That sounds awful, and I'm sorry to hear your daughter is being difficult.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;There are already suggestions for getting professional help, but I'm going to focus on exploring some options which don't involve a professional. Of course, involving a professional is entirely up to you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;It's okay to be angry with your daughter. Anger is not abuse.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Bear with me here for a second. Children have less nuance than adults. Adults tend to look down on each other for getting angry or showing &amp;quot;negative&amp;quot; emotion. If you're angry, even very angry, show it! Explanations and reasoning with children only go so far, but your daughter will instantly understand she made you angry. But...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Whenever I try to respond to her behavior with negative consequences, she has huge meltdowns.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Those huge meltdowns are part of her misbehavior. Children and adults get emotional when they realize they have broken the rule and are caught. And they often try to talk their way out. Or grovel their way out. And, for your daughter, so far it's worked.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Which brings me to my second point.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Your daughters behavior continues because it's worked so far.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Children are fast and selfish learners, and can be practical to the point of being calculating. This is why you question:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Who is this child? Is she a nice, smart girl? or a deeply disturbed psychopath?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is a very smart girl, who is sweet and nice at school, because it works to get what she wants there (approval, respect), and is mean at home because it achieves her goals there.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If you take away whatever reward she gains from her behavior at home, or change the means she achieves her goals, you'll change her behavior.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Just an observation, but approval and recognition sound very important to your daughter, and whether she gets it through positive or negative means doesn't sound important to her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;What can you do?&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Be direct.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When your daughter tells you she hates your cooking, tell her in no uncertain terms that what she said hurts your feelings.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Change tactics.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Ask her what you're doing wrong, and &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;listen&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;. (Remember this is a &lt;strong&gt;tactic&lt;/strong&gt;, but also be genuine.) Take it all with a grain of salt, she's six, but also consider that, if your daughter is being genuine, she is expressing her real feelings and reality, which may be very different than yours. Ask her why she says/does the things she does. Tell her you love her and you help the people you love... how can you help? If she won't talk, ask her why? Really try to figure her out based on her own words/thoughts.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Simple, firm rules.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Have rules which are always enforced, and you should never feel guilty about. Like:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tantrum time limits. After so long, say 10 minutes, she's restricted in her room. Count down. Restriction lasts until she stops crying, never before.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Dinner with thanks or no dinner. See rule one of this a problem.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;No desert or treats for bad behavior, but cookies for good behavior. It's very Pavlovian, but powerful.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And maybe a strange suggestion, but it's worked for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h1&gt;Buy large headphones and a child gate.&lt;/h1&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your daughter simply can't be contained, ignore her. I play video games with headphones on, door open, and baby gate closed, until the tantrum is over. This way I can keep my eye on things while they are still distant echoes, literally. Watch TV with the well behaving children and husband, exclude the misbehaving child. This works much like a cookie: she gets your attention only when she behaves well, and not when she's poorly treating you.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I feel strongly I need to caveat that method with, once the child becomes coherent or makes reasonable demands/requests, I immediately listen with my full attention.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Anyway, you can handle this. Don't get too frustrated with yourself or your daughter - you'll get through all this.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22119" LastEditorUserId="-1" LastEditDate="2020-06-17T09:59:01.570" LastActivityDate="2016-11-26T05:18:35.477" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27905" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27903" CreationDate="2016-11-24T16:40:58.587" Score="6" Body="&lt;p&gt;I am a retired teacher, so you should know that before you read my answer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I think a parent should always go to the teacher first with a concern. If you think it is truly serious -- then ask for a meeting with the teacher and with the Admin sitting in.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Your Admin sounds like an asshat to me. If you ask something in confidence, it should remain confidential. The Admin could have said 'no' for example, without disclosing what you asked to have confidential.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;I'd ask the Admin why s/he broke my confidence. However, just because someone is supposed to act like an adult, it doesn't mean they won't act badly towards you in the future. You have to weigh the consequences. I had a co-teacher be dressed-down by a parent and that teacher told me that the kid would 'pay'. I reported that one, but most situations don't have a co-teacher to make sure things are above board.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastEditorUserId="25363" LastEditDate="2016-11-24T18:28:11.300" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T18:28:11.300" CommentCount="6" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27906" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27899" CreationDate="2016-11-24T16:50:46.350" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Sometimes you have to follow the rules. You can commiserate without breaking the rules. However, what about great underwear? Go out and buy the best superhero, or frilliest underwear possible. Tell your kid that no one else is wearing THAT under their uniform. Let your child select which underwear to put on that day. Tell her it is her special thing and no one can say it is not okay -- especially if she doesn't tell everyone.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe the uniform allows for different colours of shirts or hair bows or socks or sweaters. Let those things be a different as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;It's true that uniforms make everyone the same, which is very nice if the community has widely differing economic lifestyles. Point out that the uniform helps people (especially staff) treat everyone fairly.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T16:50:46.350" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27907" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27783" CreationDate="2016-11-24T17:03:06.280" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;In my classroom a thrown toy went into the cupboard. My reasoning works in a classroom, as the toys were not personal to the student.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I think I'd say &quot;We do not throw things.&quot; Then show the child that the toy is away until a set period of time. You decide how long. The younger the child, the less time. The harder the item -- the longer time. You could put pictures (could be hand-drawn) of the toys in the cupboard. Then when the child wants the truck, you can show them it is in the cupboard until the set time. To keep things positive, the child could help draw the pic of the toys that are out of bounds. Oh and if they break the item, they don't get it back. Natural consequences.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T17:03:06.280" CommentCount="1" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27908" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22332" CreationDate="2016-11-24T21:11:22.843" Score="0" Body="&lt;p&gt;If a 15-20 minute time out in a bean bag worked, then if you can replicate a safe place for him to desensitize.  Keep the same routine at home and maybe have his new school call his old school and see if they can carry over some of the routines that helped him.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Some kids have issues with light or need pressure to help keep them under control (like a weighted vest).&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If that doesn't help you might want to consider a  mental health evaluation.  I'd ask the school if they know of any community groups or folks that might be able to babysit to give you a break.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="14672" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T21:11:22.843" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27909" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="22332" CreationDate="2016-11-24T21:43:35.530" Score="4" Body="&lt;p&gt;Have you tried pressure and things like sunglasses and earplugs or noise reduction headphones?&#xA;Pressure is deep hugs or pressure clothing. You could make a small safe place that touches your kid on all the sides he wants. We made one from a cardboard box and put carpet and padding inside. We kept making it smaller until our student said it was good. He entered through a 'swinging door' and he could latch it from inside. It was cardboard so we had no fear of his getting stuck. That student was non-verbal but definitely could make his opinion known.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I taught behavioural students and autistic kids for 30 plus years. I will not do you the disservice of diagnosing over the internet. This sounds like conditions such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), or perhaps depression but I doubt it is depression.. I think you should try another doctor.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Meds sometimes help, but if your child is hypersensitive to stimuli then I highly recommend and I suspect that he needs extra help. It can make a world of difference to reduce light, sound and things that sound nice, like light touch. I've witnessed children go from not being able to cope at all, to being capable of learning academic work and sitting at a desk.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In fairness to all, this stuff is really hard to diagnose and help isn't in a 5 minute article or doctor visit.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mytjacket.com/the-science-behind-it.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow noreferrer&quot;&gt;http://www.mytjacket.com/the-science-behind-it.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T21:43:35.530" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27910" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27164" CreationDate="2016-11-24T22:13:42.317" Score="1" Body="&lt;p&gt;I understand your concern.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Are the parents equally concerned?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I'd try whispering, redirection and praise for good behaviour. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Most children who do not know us well, are slightly afraid because they don't know what you'll do in the face of unwanted behaviours. I'd always fall back on: 1) support the parent. (I will assume they are perfectly good parents.) 2) talk in a quiet and calm voice. 3) remove anyone unnecessary to the situation from the area. 4) offer an alternative activity like dancing, singing, another toy, a walk...&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T22:13:42.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27911" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27912" CreationDate="2016-11-24T23:31:20.417" Score="1" ViewCount="2325" Body="&lt;p&gt;I’m 26 and don’t get along well with my dad. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;One of the things that really irritates me is that he always agrees to something, but then complains how much it’s inconveniencing him, or says he’s in a rush or is making large sacrifices to do it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For example, we both enjoy swimming and he was about to drive to the swimming pool and had invited me. This wasn’t planned and he asked if I would be ready in 10 minutes and I said yes. He got very mad that I took 12 minutes to get ready. Whenever I tell him I don’t like it when he rushes me, we get into an argument. I asked him why it was such a big deal that I was two minutes late and he said it’s because traffic gets worse every 5 minutes, which probably isn’t true. (He also said some other stuff, like he needed to get groceries later.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also when I graduated from school he was the only family member who came and he tried to rush me because he said he had work to do. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I’d like to learn to avoid being with him when it’s just the two of us but I always forget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25414" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-24T23:47:08.297" LastActivityDate="2016-11-27T21:46:49.607" Title="Dad always rushes me even when there is no rush" Tags="|relationships|communication|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="4" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27912" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27911" CreationDate="2016-11-24T23:46:56.960" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;Could you try saying something like, &quot;Sorry, but I cannot be ready in 10 minutes. I can be ready in...&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Or tell him whst amount of time you expect he needs for an event, but add ten or so minutes?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Build in a little extra time and if he says he cannot do something, accept it. If you end up spending less time together and he complains, just say you also have time constraints. Let him make time.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is not just your problem, it is his, too. No one, including a parent, is perfect.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Also what about just making time to talk, without an event or activity? Talk about the issue. If he cannot talk about it, do not blame yourself. Many adults suck at honest communication.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastEditorUserId="25363" LastEditDate="2016-11-24T23:56:31.593" LastActivityDate="2016-11-24T23:56:31.593" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27913" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27911" CreationDate="2016-11-25T00:10:19.533" Score="3" Body="&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;I’d like to learn to avoid being with him when it’s just the two of us but I always forget.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This is the part you have control over. This is the part on which you should expend the most effort, because effort here will be the most fruitful. So work out a system with yourself that helps you avoid being alone with him. (Or, be alone with him only when you don't need anything from him.)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If his only flaw is that he rushes you, stop going anywhere with him, or drive yourself. Don't ask him for favors that will backfire on you. You're old enough to drive yourself or ask to borrow the car, make alternate arrangements, etc. If he asks you if you'd like to do &lt;em&gt;x&lt;/em&gt; (which leads to hard feelings), memorize a mantra as a response: &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;  &lt;p&gt;&quot;I'd love to, Dad, but it seems we always end up fighting in this kind of situation, and I don't want to fight. So, thanks for the invitation, but I'll pass.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Maybe someday you'll be able to discuss this problem. For a while, at least, I suspect he'll balk at this response. Give it anyway. Or, if he insists, go, and if he starts to complain, excuse yourself and get away.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Next, ask yourself why you continue to fall into his 'traps'&lt;sup&gt;[1]&lt;/sup&gt;. Is it that sometimes he comes through (so that you can't tell when he will surprise you with impatience at best, or passive-aggressive behavior at worst?) If so, can you see a pattern that can tip you off? When you have figured out why you keep trusting someone who obviously hurts your feelings, you will have a tool to work with in protecting your feelings, if that is your goal. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;If your goal is to change your dad's behavior, it's best to realize right now that that is highly unlikely to happen.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[1] It's likely because you want something - like to go somewhere - or you want to give your dad an opportunity to show that he cares for you in a palpable way. We all want this of our parents.&lt;/sub&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="9327" LastEditorUserId="9327" LastEditDate="2016-11-25T00:16:58.220" LastActivityDate="2016-11-25T00:16:58.220" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27917" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27855" CreationDate="2016-11-25T20:04:49.303" Score="2" Body="&lt;p&gt;In the case of a toddler or young child you really should keep a firm grip on their internet usage by watching it with them. This is not just about the actual content that they see but also the fact that you don't really want to get into a station where their whole view of the world is moderated via the internet. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;For sure the internet is an amazing resource and I would have loved to have access to Wikipedia when I was that age but at the same time children do need to have access to the real world as well and this includes the opportunity to fall over and hurt themselves as well as experiencing nature and space to explore. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;So I would suggest the following &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take control of your kids internet use and treat it as a valuable resource that you control. Don't just use it as an easy way to keep them quiet. For example if they ask you why the sky is blue, use the internet to find out the answer. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Make sure they have access to books and take the time to read to them. Pick stories that you enjoy as well. These need not be 'children's books' there are plenty of classics which children can cope with, Jane Austin, Robinson Crusoe, Treasure Island, Swallows and Amazons   etc etc. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;&lt;p&gt;Teach them how to make things, children love making things. If you don't have the requisite skills, then this is a great reason to learn. If nothing else just make a bird house or something. Making things with your dad is infinitely better than the internet. And don't do it for them, &lt;strong&gt;teach&lt;/strong&gt; them. Also tell them about your job, what skills do you use? Show them what you do... they will be interested. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Equally make watching YouTube a fun thing to do together there are all sorts of fascinating videos about weapons and armor and lock picking and horses and how stars work and telescopes and nuclear reactors and microscopes. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="22264" LastEditorUserId="3854" LastEditDate="2017-02-10T16:10:49.640" LastActivityDate="2017-02-10T16:10:49.640" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27919" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27933" CreationDate="2016-11-26T09:52:06.623" Score="5" ViewCount="527" Body="&lt;p&gt;My 16-year-old daughter has not been seeing her father since we divorced (in 2008 on the basis of infidelity (from him)). We live cities apart. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;She is against of having any relations with him. I was always for they keep relationship with each other, but he was absolutely unresponsive. She likely feels attitude and does not want to have any contact. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I want to do it for her because responsibility on me is bigger than I can bear and I am afraid I can be not giving fully what she will need for life and also can be doing it myself on the expense of my health that I will need in the future to support us, as I am under tension and constant stress. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;He does not feel any responsibility at all, just paying very small amount of (for an Eastern European country) aliments. He never contacted her after divorce, they met twice, both times when she needed to take passport and his consent with it. In the past I gave him her email in hope he would write to her, but it did not happen. Now, I had an idea to give him her phone number and by the viber or other apps they could interact with each other, but she opposes it categorically. &lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am not sure if I should do it without her consent. Also in the viber he has his current family's photo that can be traumatic for her.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;What should I do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="13506" LastEditorUserId="30519" LastEditDate="2019-01-30T16:07:13.790" LastActivityDate="2019-01-30T16:07:13.790" Title="Should I try to reconnect my 16-year-old daughter with her father?" Tags="|teen|relationships|emotional-well-being|divorce|" AnswerCount="2" CommentCount="3" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 4.0" />
  <row Id="27932" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-26T16:51:22.923" Score="7" ViewCount="250" Body="&lt;p&gt;I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. Both are good kids and just have the usual kid moments here and there - but on the whole they're very good :)&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, whenever we go out anywhere, literally anywhere, they always pine and try to get a new toy or little trinket... The scale really doesn't matter, they're happy with a 50p or £1 toy, or squishy thing or whatever it may be. For me, the cost isn't really an issue - let's face it, we pay significantly more for a tepid cup of brown liquid someone has deemed to call coffee!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My concern is longer term, will this become a problem - the expectation is set and that carries into adult life, then they'll shop themselves into terrible debt for example. Seems extreme, but I know of a number of people who are maxed out on credit cards simply buying handbags!&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25435" LastActivityDate="2016-11-30T20:59:40.983" Title="Is it a problem to keep getting my kids small toys / trinkets? 2 and 4 year old" Tags="|social-development|toys|personality|" AnswerCount="3" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27933" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27919" CreationDate="2016-11-26T18:22:57.317" Score="12" Body="&lt;ol&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Do NOT do anything without her consent. This will damage trust in your relationship and is likely to make things worse&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;As long as neither your daughter or you ex ask you specifically to get involve, it's best to stay out of it. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;If you feel strongly that it's good for your daughter to connect with her father you need to talk it through with her. Ask why she doesn't want to see him and than LISTEN. Don't say anything until you are sure you fully understand what's going on insider her. &lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Now you can make your point. You can explain why you think it's good for your daughter: be prepared to listen to her counter arguments and deal with them.&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;li&gt;Either you can convince her or not. If she agrees to see her father, than the two of you should work on a strategy together. If  she doesn't, you just have to agree to disagree or you may even come around to her view point&lt;/li&gt;&#xA;&lt;/ol&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="3527" LastActivityDate="2016-11-26T18:22:57.317" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27934" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27932" CreationDate="2016-11-26T18:34:03.317" Score="9" Body="&lt;p&gt;I'd say if you have a concern, you should listen to your inner voice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I personally think you are setting up your kids to expect certain things at certain times. We all do it it different ways -- it is up to you to decide.  They won't always get a treat, but they often will, perhaps only if you stop for coffee.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;In my own opinion, I think a treat every once in awhile is fine and an allowance for the rest of the time works well. It is never too early to teach kids about money and responsibility. You have to gear the lesson to their understanding of course. If you give your child a dollar per week or a pound every two to three weeks, the amount is up to you. Help them spend it (and yes at this age you get to say 'yes' or 'no'), or to save it, or part of it for a bigger treat. &quot;If you save your dollar,  you may have enough for the thing you want.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;And slightly off topic -- allowance is what your child wants to have for things they want, but do not need. It should not be tied to chores or behaviour, though it might be for truly egregious behaviour. Chores are what all members of a family do because that is what families do to make it work. As a child gets older allowance can include money for extras like a movie or a special pair of shoes -- but they may have to save for those items.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastEditorUserId="25363" LastEditDate="2016-11-27T00:10:13.433" LastActivityDate="2016-11-27T00:10:13.433" CommentCount="2" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27935" PostTypeId="2" ParentId="27919" CreationDate="2016-11-26T20:09:06.423" Score="5" Body="&lt;p&gt;I agree with Hilmar and add that you could suggest that the father write actual paper letters and send gifts as a way of breaking the ice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I have no idea what happened to stop him talking to his child. She may have  most excellent reasoning and she is far too old to be 'told'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="25363" LastActivityDate="2016-11-26T20:09:06.423" CommentCount="0" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27937" PostTypeId="1" AcceptedAnswerId="27950" CreationDate="2016-11-27T18:36:20.393" Score="8" ViewCount="4905" Body="&lt;p&gt;My daughter wants me to create a Facebook account for her; I told her no. But I didn't really think about what she wanted me to do for her. I have Facebook and she sees me on it all the time, so she wants an account. I dont know if its ok for n 11 year-old to have  Facebook account. She feels bad because all her friends have Facebook and their all the same age. I'm not sure what to do with this situation, whether to create one for her or just be stern and say stick with 'No'.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;" OwnerUserId="17817" LastEditorUserId="147" LastEditDate="2016-11-28T16:11:53.053" LastActivityDate="2017-05-28T20:52:42.940" Title="My 11 year-old daughter wants to create a Facebook account" Tags="|age-appropriate|social-media|" AnswerCount="5" CommentCount="5" ContentLicense="CC BY-SA 3.0" />
  <row Id="27938" PostTypeId="1" CreationDate="2016-11-27T18:47:20.280" Score="8" ViewCount="396" Body="&lt;p&gt;My wife and I are pulling our hair out. Our 6-year-old daughter behaves very well at school and with others, yet at home, when it's just us, she is the complete polar opposite. We have had to restrain her from physically hurting us more than a few times and being aggressive towards us and her 3-year-old brother. She says she wishes her brother was dead and uses the hate word a lot. When she eventually calms down she demands food, normally something sweet and apologises for her behaviour. We are trying to understand the triggers. Any advice?&l